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Today's special was over around 11:25am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's Mammary Lane. After that Jon said that he wanted to start off talking about that rehearsal show. Jon said that his first day wasn't until 1/9/06 so he wasn't there for that test show. Gary said they had to do a run through. He said they just put it up there and gave it to the audience. He said if you were listening then it was pretty special. He said once word got out they were pretty much done.
Jon said it was all brand new to them. He asked Gary how hard it was to transition. Gary said they waited so long to get there and they got there and he was more nervous for that than he was for the first day. He said if it was a disaster then it would have been a mess. He said that it seems like it's a lot longer than 9 years ago.
Jon said they also heard from Martine Rothblatt. He said that Martine has done some amazing things in her life. Gary said she is a super genius who continues to do stuff. Gary said she talked about her daughter and how she went and found a cure for her. He said that's what amazes him. Jon said that it is amazing that she's wise but she goes out and does things and gets them done. Gary said he was telling his son how Martine was a man and became a woman but she has a daughter with the woman she married. He said Lucas was like ''Hmm'' when he heard that story. Jon said it's a much more accepted thing these days and it's a great story.
Jon asked Gary how long that Jackin Off To You song was stuck in his head. Gary said it's a great tune. He said that it was just some kid in his house doing it. He said the question for him was ''Is that what you want to be famous for?'' Gary said he did say that he got a lot of looks from the kids in school.
Jon said Gary got his balls busted over the Prince of Persia game. He said Howard yelled at Gary and John about that. He asked how long that went on. Gary said he was playing at his house on weekends. He said that games are frivolous to Howard. He said that's time that you're not spending on the show. Gary said he still loves the game. He said he has tried to play it recently but it's not the same. He said he got to the end but it took weeks on that old PC version. Jon said that Stuttering John ratted him out on that. Gary said he did. Jon asked if there was anything that John liked better than finding something out and ratting you out. Gary said that was his ammunition and he loved it. Jon asked if he was playing chess would Howard have cared. Gary said any stupid game takes some brain. He said Howard has his game and he has his. Jon asked if he played other games after that. Gary said that was just one game that caught his fancy. He said he was talking to the guys out there and he's addicted to some trivia games on his phone. He said he will buy trivia books and read them at home. He said that's a great way to gain information.
Jon said that things have gotten too easy to find on the web now. Gary said that his son asked what they did before the internet. He said he told him that they just wondered. He said that's what they did. He said you either let it go or you asked someone who might know. They used to actually call people and ask.
Jon said when the Lily Tomlin thing went down you could hear how pissed she was. Gary said they used to watch Laugh In with the family. He said they went to a record signing to meet her and have her sign a record. He said he likes that lady. He said then you hear her going ape shit crazy. Gary said he's had outbursts and so has Howard. He said the star of that clip was actually Dustin Hoffman. He said he wasn't doing anything to calm her down. He said he just told her to use that energy. He said they let her go nuts. Jon said that's a great revelation. He said it's the other person in those type of clips you want to hear. He mentioned some others like the William Shatner clip. Gary said there was that Orson Wells clip too that was great.
Jon said they had Joe Pesci talking to Eric the Actor in today's show. He said that Jim Breuer was doing the impression. Gary said that he was great and he was out of control that morning. He said people thought that it was really Joe Pesci. Gary said that Eric would create something and he'd have this reality that wasn't there and he would get angry when they didn't go along with it. Jon said he misses that world that Eric was in.
Jon asked Gary what it's like being out there in L.A. and if it brings back memories. Gary said he did pass the place that used to be the Key Club that they did when they were there for Private Parts. He said he has a lot of memories out there. They did a few shows there. Gary said he likes going by the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel too. He said everywhere he drives out there is a memory for the show.
Jon asked Gary how it was being out there with the warm weather. Gary said he only likes winter when he's in the mood for it. He said he's not in that mood often. He talked about how he made calls for the show from the balcony of his hotel room. Jon wrapped up the show a short time later. They were done around 11:45am.
Today's Mammary Lane was over around 11:30am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. After that Jon talked about the Baba Booey segment and how that has lasted 3 decades. Mark said the second time you hear Gary say ''Baba Booey'' that's the drop that you hear Fred playing. He said it sounds like Fred is dropping it in there when you hear that old clip.
Jon said they have a poll up today about Ronnie's limo and if you think he bought it because he wanted attention. Mark said to not know the man would be horrified by that shows that he's out of it. Jon said he thinks there's a lot of Ronnie in that purchase. He said he has to spend a lot of time in it too. Mark said he knows it's part Howard's fault but he should have seen it first. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's just finishing up with the Gwyneth Paltrow interview so he's a little bit behind. He said he thinks Howard is being tough on Benjy with the whole Benjy and Elisa thing. He said he keeps telling him to get married but maybe Benjy isn't ready. Jon said Howard is telling Benjy to marry Elisa because he's never going to have anyone that good come around again. He said he doesn't want him to miss that opportunity. Mark said he thinks he's right about that. He said Howard knows that he's never going to find a piece of ass like that ever again. Mark told Benjy to get off the throne.
Jon took a call from a guy who said whenever there is ball busting how often dos it carry over after the show? He asked Jon what he remembers carrying over. Jon said he has said this before. He said Howard will light into Gary like there is no tomorrow but then they go to break and it's almost forgotten. He said Ronnie doesn't forget. He said he turns into Ronald and he makes comments here and there. He said he's sure that Ronnie will text him about how right he was about that whole limo thing. Jon said if you get your balls broken there isn't time for getting upset. Mark said even if you come in as a guest you're part of it. Mark asked Jon if he's ever had a fight with Howard. Jon said he never got into a fight but Howard did say that he invited him to his daughter's bat mitzvah just because he wanted a gift. Jon said he just put his head down and walked out after that. He said he didn't want to say something stupid.
Jon said that Howard knows how to bust balls. Mark said Howard has done it with Gary, Fred and Robin. He said he's proven it on the air.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Gary ever bought the Baba Louie cell. Mark said he thinks he still has it. Jon said Gary bought a bunch and he collected them for years. He said that one will live in infamy.
Jon asked Mark if he thinks that anyone will give Howard a shout out at the Oscars. Mark said he doesn't think so. He said the only one who would actually do something like that is David Arquette. He said if he's not getting one then it may never happen. He said it would have to be someone like David, Jillian Barberie or someone like that.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie sold that limo and lost money on it. Jon said he did sell it and get another one. He said this time he was sure to talk to Howard about it. Jon said he thinks Ronnie learned his lesson with that one. Mark said he thinks there was a turning point where Ronnie got to be more a part of the show after that. He said it was sort of the dawning of Ronnie back then.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Robin was going on and on about Hozier and he thinks that he looks like Howard a little bit. He said that Robin is really into him and he thinks that's Robin's way of saying that she really loves Howard. Jon said he's making a jump there but that guy does have a similar look to Howard. He said that his guitar playing is better though. Jon asked Mark if he believes that's what Robin is really after. Mark said that he does and that's pretty obvious. They were talking about Hozier's guitar playing and Mark said that Howard can actually play better than he lets on. He said he has jammed with him and he knows he can play better than he lets on. They went to break after that
Jon took a call from a guy who thanked them for making the past year a great one because today was his 23rd birthday. That's about all he had to say. Jon and Mark wished him a happy birthday.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has to disagree with Mark but he does love him. He said he thinks this year he will get a shout out from Steve Carell. Jon said he is 100 to 1 to win so he's not sure that will happen. Jon said when they do get up there that may not be the first thing on your mind. Mark said there is a lot going on there at the Oscars and when you get up there it may not happen. He said you have to win to do that too. He said Steve did a great job in that movie but he has to get up there first.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Mark if he's going to cover Howard's other song. He said he did a great job with Pyschadelic Bee. Mark said that Howard is responsible for the popularity of Sugar Ray. He said they recorded that song and 3 days later they were in the studio performing it for Howard. He said they were about to be kicked out of Columbia Records and Howard saved them. Jon asked Mark how powerful an influence Howard is in the music industry. Mark said all doors are open once you get on the show. He said that Dave Grohl said that when he did Everlong acoustically it was the first time ever. He said that he went out and did an acoustic album and tour after that too. He said you never underestimate the power of Howard Stern.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he'd like to know what Gary's cells are worth today. Jon said that's a good idea. He asked Mark if he would want to hear that. Mark said he was reading his mind. He said he thinks he paid $350 or $450 for the cell 20 years ago. Jon said you just don't know how that's going to go down. Mark said he thinks that it's probably worth a couple g's. Jon said maybe it is.
Jon said the results of the poll are in and 53 percent of the people say Ronnie bought the limo for his own enjoyment. Mark said he thought that he did it to please Howard. He said it was just a bad idea all the way around. Jon gave Mark some plugs and wrapped up the show around 12:00pm.
Jimmy Kimmel Visits. 05/16/11. 6:30am
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel is there so he should bring him in. He said he's there for the upfronts. Jimmy came in with his iPad 2. He said Howard is the one who got him to get that thing. He said he loves it too.
Howard told Jimmy to explain why he's there. jimmy said he's there for these things they call the upfronts. This is where the networks show off the TV shows they have to advertisers. He said they do that and they get commitments from the advertisers and then they end up canceling the shows.
Jimmy said the deals work out great for the advertisers because if the shows don't get the ratings they say they will, they get a better deal.
Howard said Jimmy is the one late night guy on ABC so he's got a good deal. Howard asked if he has to go do the upfronts. Jimmy said nothing ever happens at these things and this is his 9th year doing it. He said he thought it would be terrible if he didn't go and he could return triumphantly next year.
Howard said they treat Jimmy like shit over there at ABC but he's the only guy who can do this kind of thing for them. Howard said Jimmy doesn't say they treat him like shit but he's going to say it for him. Howard said this upfront thing is very important and Jimmy is the one guy they can go to for doing the event. Howard said the advertisers look forward to the whole thing and ABC isn't treating him that well. Howard said they don't pay him like they pay Leno and Letterman. He said they keep him on later at night like Fallon and Conan. He said he's really their Leno or Letterman but they treat him like he's second tier.
Robin said there was talk of putting Conan in his slot and moving him back. Howard said it's just not right. Jimmy said he's shedding second tears right now.
Howard said he can't think of anyone at ABC who could do what Jimmy does. Jimmy said he kind of created that whole thing. He said without the advertising department he probably wouldn't have a job so he feels he has to do this thing.
Howard said Jimmy was never a stand-up comic so this must have been kind of strange for him to do. He was learning to do this show in front of an audience and an advertising group. Jimmy said he did a couple of TV shows and he did stand-up with Adam Carolla on The Man Show. He said he got his show and did his show from behind a desk. Now he's done some stand-up and he's doing better.
Howard asked Jimmy if he has ever done a show where he doesn't have to use cue cards. Jimmy said he can't remember anything so he has to do that. Howard said he knows what he means. He can't remember anything either.
Howard said he got to see Jimmy prepare for the upfronts last year. He said that he practiced at the party he had out in L.A. Howard said he thought the jokes were very good but Ashton Kutcher told him which jokes he thought sucked. Howard said he saw over the weekend that he got the Charlie Sheen gig in Two and a Half Men. Howard said he saw that he's going to get like half a million an episode for the show. He said the guy is a movie star and he's taking a TV role. Robin said he started in TV so it's not that big of a change. Howard said Charlie is saying that it will tank. Robin said she's going to watch it just for Ashton. She said she wants to see what he'll do with the role.
Howard said Jimmy is going to be doing this upfront thing and trying out his jokes with the audience there. Jimmy said he can't run through his jokes at a comedy club.
Robin said Jay Leno is getting to be really obnoxious. TMZ found him driving around in a steam powered car. Jimmy said he drives around in those things all the time. He said that Adam goes and drives around with him in those cars and it's like he's in a parade all the time. Howard asked if he finds it shocking that he gets all of this attention and doesn't want to just sit back and relax. He puts himself in his own parade of one. Howard asked what that is. Jimmy said he's not sure what's going on. He must love those cars and he likes to show them off.
Howard said Jimmy used to be on Jay's show and then he burned him and now he doesn't hear form him. Jimmy said he doesn't hear form him and he thinks he'd probably try to run him over with his steam car if he did.
Howard said he thought Jimmy was portrayed in a very good light in Bill Carter's book ''The War for Late Night: When Leno Went Early and Television Went Crazy.''
Howard said it must be weird to be part of that whole late night war thing. Jimmy said that is a very strange thing.
Jimmy talked about the first show he did and how good he thought it was at the time. He said he went back and looked at it recently and it was really bad. Howard said he had people drinking on the show at the time. They had to put a stop to that because of the liability. Howard said the guests are still allowed to drink but not the audience. Howard said maybe they should incorporate that bar into the show. He said it's packed with celebrities and they drink and mingle with the public. He said it's a wild scene. Howard said they could do a spin off called ''Jimmy's Bar'' and have some tape roll from there. Jimmy said they'd have to have another show following that show.
Howard asked if there is anyone who shows up too often and has to be turned away. Jimmy said that Andy Dick used to show up a lot. He said he had to be thrown out like 6 months ago. Jimmy said that's a bummer for him. He said he likes the guy and he had to be thrown out. Jimmy said he would want to come and say hello to some people and he'd visit the bar. Jimmy said that he would have to be escorted from the premises.
Howard asked if anyone has been turned away and called Jimmy personally to get in. Jimmy said he doesn't think that's happened. He said that they let anyone in until they do something bad. Howard asked who handles that and how they handle it. Jimmy said if you've been on the show you'd be welcomed to come back.
Howard asked Jimmy about the Baba Booey thing since he hasn't been there lately. Jimmy said he thinks that there's something going on between him and Fred and he blames Greg Fitzsimmons. He said he listens to every second of the show and Fred used to burst out with a ''According to Jimmy Kimmel I don't know what I'm talking about...'' Fred said he's right about that. Jimmy said that Howard will accept anything that Fred says as fact. Howard said he's right. He said Fred doesn't always know but he does let him end a conversation. He said he is wrong sometimes though. We're all human. Robin said they didn't know that Fred was human.
Howard said he didn't know that there was something going on between them. He said that Fred doesn't speak positively about Jimmy all the time. Fred said that's just not true.
Howard asked how he was at his party. Jimmy said he thought he was socializing and having a good time. Howard said he got to hang out with Don Rickles and his wife. Howard said Don talked to Beth too. He said it was very funny. He said he was sitting there talking to Don and Rickles told him a story about someone. He can't tell the story on the air. He said the story is private. Then he started talking about this person's wife and told him not to tell anyone. Beth said to Don ''I wonder what they say about me behind my back.'' Don said to her ''You? You're not that important...'' Howard said it was very funny. Jimmy said that Don will turn on a dime and you get popped in the head.
Howard said he told Don a story and he screwed up a name. He said he told him a story about Freddy DeCordova and it was about Peter Lasalle. He said Don corrected him and turned away from him.
Jimmy said that the story Howard was talking about was crazy. He said that Freddy was the producer for Johnny Carson's show for years. His wife spent every dime they had and she was left with nothing. Her maid had been saving money and she was building a replica of the house she was cleaning. Jimmy said the maid took Freddy's wife to her home and continued to be her maid. Howard said the maid said she couldn't serve her anymore and she was going to move to Mexico.
Howard said Johnny wasn't talking to Freddy at the end of his life. He said that Freddy gave Johnny the cut sign during a eulogy for his own son. That's why Johnny stopped talking to the guy. Howard said Freddy's wife had lost Freddy and the wife asked the maid to take her to Mexico. She had the same house built down there and she was kind of still her maid and it was a very strange story. Howard said that's what he tried to tell to Don Rickles and screwed it up.
Howard asked Jimmy about why Ben Affleck and his wife Jennifer Garner were at his party and didn't talk to him. Jimmy said he thinks that there were a lot of people who wanted to talk to him but so many other people were talking to him that they didn't get a chance. Howard said he didn't even know that Ben and Jen were there.
Howard said Jimmy had set up this karaoke thing at the party and he was testing it for days. He said he was checking it in an empty room and by the time the party came around no one could hear a thing. He said the music wasn't loud enough. He said he should have hired a guy. Jimmy said he didn't want a guy there. Howard said he gets that. He said Kristen Bell can sing and he was sitting next to her and she was good. He said he was the only one who could hear her. He said he looked over and Jimmy was very tired looking. He said he saw Jimmy just staring at the equipment. He said it looked like he wanted it to stop working. He demonstrated what that looked like. Howard said he knows that feeling. He said he would get crazy too.
Howard said Jimmy got upset that John Stamos had his guys there at the party. Howard said Jimmy was staring that equipment down. Howard said it was very odd that Stamos didn't bring a girl to the party. Jimmy said that was kind of odd. Howard said you look forward to seeing who he's going to bring. He said it was kind of a bummer.
Howard thanked Jimmy for having that party. He said he spoke to George Clooney and his girlfriend for a half hour so he felt like he was really in show business. Howard said he hung out at that party until like 1 in the morning too. He said he had to beg Beth to get out of there. He said it was enough already.
Howard said he felt like it was a great party because it was in his honor and anyone there doesn't hate him. He said Jimmy had vetted everyone to make sure they like him. Howard said the party was in his honor and he was sure that no one there hated him. Jimmy said Chris O'Donnell is a huge fan and he was upset that he didn't get invited. Howard said he should have invited the guy. Jimmy said he forgot about him. He said he was on the show recently and told him he would have liked to have been there.
Howard said he spoke to Jon Favreau. He didn't hear one word from Adam Carolla. Howard said he knows Adam and he could have spoken to him. Jimmy said Adam may have felt that there were other people there who he wanted to talk to. Howard said he's right about that.
Gary said he heard that Zach Braff wanted to go to the party and he wasn't able to get in. Jimmy said he didn't know what a big fan he is. Jimmy said there are some people who came into his life who just wanted to be at the party. He said he wanted to make sure that everyone who came is someone Howard would have wanted to be around. He said he thinks that he was happy with the people who were there.
Howard said he liked that Mary McCormack was there with her husband. He said that he was flitting around with the people there and Mary noticed. He said she was totally bamboozled. He said it was fantastic.
Howard said it was very odd to see Courteney Cox and David Arquette at the party holding hands. they spent a minute on that subject before Howard said he had to take a break. Howard said Jimmy is looking good. He's lost about 20 pounds. Howard said he's getting his whole thing together now. Jimmy said he's working on that like he did with the Karaoke.
Jimmy said he was kind of fat and he would make jokes about it thinking he wasn't really all that fat. He said he was kind of fat though. Howard asked what he's going to do with Molly. Jimmy said he's not sure. He said she stays at his house every night and she wants to keep her own place. Howard said he doesn't get that feeling that he wants to commit to her. Jimmy said she's keeping her place. Howard said every woman seems to do that. He said maybe every woman feels that if shit hits the fan with him that she'll have a place to go. Jimmy said the real estate market is bad out there too so it's not a good time to sell.
Howard said Jimmy is a very generous guy and he send him gifts right away after visiting. Howard said he has this picture that Jimmy had commissioned and he ended up hating it. Robin said she saw that picture at Howard's place and she wondered what it was doing there. Jimmy said the artist was very upset by what Howard said about it. Howard said the painting was awful and people were afraid to tell Jimmy how bad it was.
Howard said the painting is of him, Beth and the dog. He said it's very unappealing. He said the dog looks okay but he has cankles and his legs are too large. Jimmy said the guy was doing a funny painting. He said he wasn't trying to be serious with that. He said he'll show Howard some of his other work later.
Howard mentioned that he has been hired to do some photography for a child's birthday party. Howard said they have friends who have a 4 year old and they're having a birthday party. The mother asked if they knew any photographers. Howard said Beth sent this woman some of his work. Howard said he took 5 shots of Beth recently that are quite fantastic. Howard said he likes proving how professional he is. He said they sent her the pictures and Beth didn't tell her it was him. The woman thought the work was fantastic and asked if he would do the party. Beth then told her it was Howard Stern.
Jimmy said he can't imagine Howard at this party. He said he can't imagine him there and he really can't imagine him taking pictures. Howard said he's going to have to be there the whole time too. Jimmy told him to have the kid fake blowing out the candles. Howard said he's going to take this seriously and he's going to bring his assistant, his photography teacher. Robin said she can't wait until the day after this. Howard said they're lucky to have him. He said he's going to do a great job. Jimmy said he'll probably regret taking that job. Howard said he probably will but he's going to take that job. He said the woman is a former model so he's happy to do it. He said he'll be taking pictures of the moms instead of the kids. He thinks he'll be terrific. Howard said he has to take a break. Robin said that party is going to last about an hour with Howard as the photographer. Howard said he's going to be doing some other photography work and he'll be talking about that at a later date. Howard said he'll shoot anything and he's willing to do all of this. Jimmy asked ''Who are you? How did this happen?''
Howard said he'd like to shoot an NBA game or something like that. He said he really has to take a break though. He said Ted Nugent is going to be coming in later too. Howard said he loves that guy.
Howard said he has to take a break but he never finished the story about the painting. He said they have two paintings and they hang up Jimmy's when he comes over. He said they have one painting from Tom Chiusano's wife Penelope that they take down to put up Jimmy's. Howard said they put it up when Jimmy comes over and he's so glad he came clean with that story. Howard said this time to thank Jimmy they got him a gift for his kitchen. He said they figured they'd get him a professional ice cream maker. He said Jimmy likes to cook so they got him something nice. Howard said he got Jimmy an exercise bicycle the last time. He said they're almost up to a car at this point. Howard said Jimmy won't even eat ice cream in front of him now. Jimmy said his stomach attacked him after that party and he had eaten like a pig. He said he was in the bathroom almost crying that night.
Howard said they bought him this ice cream machine as a thank you for the party. Jimmy said you can make all kinds of things with this ice cream maker. He said the thing is a very high end food processor.
Howard asked Jimmy if he's feeling okay about his TV show. Jimmy said he's doing just fine. Howard asked if he thinks he'll ever get on at 11:30. Jimmy said he doesn't care. He likes being on at midnight.
Howard asked Jimmy about how he wants Ronnie to get his own show. Jimmy said he wants it to be called ''More Ronnie.'' Howard said Ronnie loves the name of it too. Robin said Ronnie must not get what the name is saying. Howard told her to shush.
Jimmy said that Ronnie is great and he always hits it out of the park. Howard said he told Ronnie to do the Hot Chick of the Week thing on Twitter. He said the guy is the best and you just have to think about it a little bit.
Ronnie came in and asked if the ''More Ronnie'' thing is a joke. Ronnie said someone called saying he was trying to make fun of him as saying ''Moron-e.'' Jimmy said that's not it at all. He told him not to listen to those haters. Ronnie said they're not haters, they're assholes. Jimmy said he has become semi-obsessed with Ronnie. He said that the ''T-O-P-L-E-S-S'' thing is what put him over the edge. Howard said he hasn't been on Twitter all that much lately. He said they were complaining about him not Tweeting enough. He said Steve Martin is on all the time and so is Albert Brooks. He said that Gilbert is always on too. Jimmy said he thinks that Albert Brooks isn't all that into it. He's just doing it to sell books.
Howard said he really has to take a break. They've gone an hour and a half so far. Jimmy and Ronnie ended up talking about what kind of show he could do but Howard said he has to take a break. Ronnie ended up telling Howard that it was Wayne Siegel that told him that the ''More Ronnie'' thing was an insult. Howard said the guy ruined his fun so he told Ronnie to tell Wayne to never speak to him again. They went to break a short time later.
More With Jimmy Kimmel. 05/16/11. 7:35am
After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a guy using Riley Martin audio clips where he says hello to many different people. Fred also played ZZ Top's ''Sharp Dressed Man'' as they were coming back. Fred threw in Robin's ''Co-cai-aine-ah'' clips during that song.
Howard came back and asked Jimmy if he had heard that. Jimmy missed it so Fred played the clip of Robin singing by herself in her booth last week. Jimmy laughed when he heard it. Howard said that's karaoke there. Jimmy said he didn't recognize the voice. He said that Peru trip really changed her. Howard asked Jimmy if he's ever done that Ayahuasca thing. Jimmy said he hadn't. He said that's terrifying to him.
Robin said she went for the whole experience. She wasn't just going for the drugs. Robin said it was very healthy and it was a great detoxing.
Howard took a call from a guy who was saying he liked that Ronnie stuff and the ''moron-e'' thing. He said that he was laughing his ass off with that.
Howard asked Jimmy why all of his callers sound like they're in a submarine. Jimmy said he's not sure but maybe they're using CB radios. Howard said he's not sure that anyone uses those things anymore. Howard did an impression of the caller and hung up on him. He said he didn't know he was going to have a follow up.
Howard gave Jimmy some plugs for his TV show and for this show he and Adam are going to be doing at the Wilturn out in Los Angeles. Jimmy said that Adam is doing a comedy show now. He said he doesn't repeat stuff. He does like 8 or 9 hours of original comedy and he'll do an entirely new show each time. He said it's unbelievable.
Howard asked what Jimmy is going to be doing. Jimmy said he's not sure what they're going to do. He said there's an air of disorganization when they do these shows. Jimmy said he promises that the show is great even though 99 out of 100 comics couldn't do it.
Howard and Jimmy talked about Adam and Howard was doing an impression that sounded kind of like Garry Shandling to Jimmy. Howard asked if he was surprised that Gary showed up to his party out in L.A. jimmy said he knows Gary so he wasn't surprised.
Howard asked if Adam is jealous that they've become so close. Jimmy said as long as Adam has Jay Leno and his steam cars he's fine. He said they don't talk that much about Jay though because Adam might feel that it's kind of a strange thing.
Howard said Dave Letterman made a joke about Jay recently that was funny. He was trying to remember what it was though. He said it was something about his birthday and Jay being a tyrant and how he used the same knife to cut his cake that he used to stab Conan in the back or something like that.
Howard asked Jimmy if he saw Jay out at dinner if he would say hello to him. Jimmy said he thinks that he'd act like nothing was wrong. Howard said he gets the same feeling. He thinks that Jay would say hello even to him. Robin said she's not sure about that. She thinks that it's starting to get to Jay. Jimmy said he fights with kindness.
Howard asked Jimmy why Adam asked him to do this show he's part of. Jimmy said it's a big theater and he thinks that Adam thought he was the best choice. He's not getting part of the door or anything like that. Howard asked why he's doing it then. Jimmy didn't really say.
Howard asked Jimmy about how he had Charlie Sheen on his show and how he didn't sit down for an interview. Jimmy said he came in during another guest's segment. He said that he didn't think he'd get any answers out of him anyway so he didn't care. He said it was enough to have him walk on and do what he did.
Robin asked if Jimmy thinks that Charlie is insane. Jimmy said he must be. Howard said the guy has to be a genius based on the way he fleeced his audience with those shows he did out on the road. Jimmy said he seemed to be pleasing the audience enough that they let him keep doing them.
Howard asked if he got a ratings spike with Charlie on his show. Jimmy said it doesn't work like that but it was all over the news the next day. Howard asked if he's ever had a guest get him really high ratings. Jimmy said they get good numbers with Howard. He said there aren't too many people who get an increase. He said the Kardhashians get big ratings. He said people want to see them.
Howard asked Jimmy about editing out a joke Charlie Sheen made about his ex girlfriend. Jimmy said he knew it wouldn't bother Sarah but Charlie didn't know that they weren't dating and it seemed kind of harsh so they cut it out. He said Charlie was going on a little long anyway so they had to cut some of it out. Howard said he likes that Jimmy is a gentleman and he cut it out like that. Jimmy said it was something about his girlfriend blowing Charlie. He said that he didn't know Sarah's take on it until he heard her on Howard's show. Howard said they should have edited in Molly's name instead of Sarah's.
Howard asked if Conan O'Brien is still relevant. Jimmy said he thinks they do well in their target audience. Howard said you don't hear a word about him anymore. Jimmy said he hears things but he's involved in that whole world.
Howard asked if jimmy thinks that Letterman will retire. Jimmy said he thinks he might. Howard said he thinks it's enough of Dave now so maybe he will. Robin said she's not sure about that. She thinks that he might stick around like Johnny Carson. Carson was forced out of his gig.
Howard said he thinks that Dave had that one thing that was fun for him and now he can't do it anymore. He said he must be miserable.
Howard asked Jimmy what he's going to be doing for the upfronts. Jimmy said he'll stay in the hotel writing jokes. Howard asked him about going on Letterman's show. He was on last year around this time. Howard found out that he got to say hi to Dave after the show. Jimmy said Dave asked him to stop by. Howard said he's never been asked to stop by afterward. He said he wouldn't do that even if he was asked though. Howard asked Jimmy if he was told that Dave wanted to say hello after the show. Jimmy said that's what he was told.
Howard asked Jimmy if he had to wait for Dave for long. Jimmy said he was in the area. He said he talked for maybe a minute or so. Jimmy said it wasn't that much waiting. He just finished his segment and talked to Paul. Howard asked if he suggested some stuff for Dave to do. Jimmy jokingly said he was giving him advice.
Howard said he found it to be bullshit when Dave and Jay did that Super Bowl commercial. Jimmy said he has a theory about that. He said there's Dave and Jay and Jay wins in the ratings. He said people think Dave is better, and Dave is better, but they don't need all of these other guys doing late night. He said they're like Batman and Superman and they don't need Aquaman and all of these other assholes running around. Jimmy said they probably just thought it was funny and that's why they did the commercial. Howard said he never considered that. He said maybe he was tired of everyone thinking about everyone but him and Jay. It's like Dave and Jay are each other's assholes and Dave just wanted his asshole there. Jimmy said he was bummed after that commercial. He said he wondered why he was doing that.
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Bobo Wants Metallica Tickets. 10/16/08. 8:20am
Bobo called in and said that he wanted to win Metallica tickets (How did he know they'd have them?). Howard said that he actually had some tickets and if he wanted to win them, he had to come in the studio and let Richard spank him. Richard came in and said that he could do a name that tune by playing drums on Bobo's ass and he has to guess what song it is. Bobo seemed to be okay with that.
Howard told Bobo that if he loses he has to take his toupee off. Bobo said that he can't do the toupee thing. Gary said that they should be good seats too.
Bobo said that he knows some of their songs like ''Enter The Sandman...'' Gary told him that's not even the right title. Richard told him to brush up on it because he's going to have to guess what songs they are from his drumming on his ass.
Bobo said he hopes that no one is watching. He said that he would do it if he threw in $500 with the tickets. Howard wasn't going to do that so Bobo took him up on the offer anyway. Howard told Bobo they'll see him on Monday.
Bobo Does Crazy Crap To Win Metallica Tickets. 10/23/08. 8:35am
After the break we heard Sal and Richard prank calling a pizzeria asking them to hold everything on the pizza they were ordering. Fred also played some Ozzy Osbourne ''Crazy Train'' as they were coming back. Howard came back as the song was starting and ended up talking about Sharon Osbourne not doing the show.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the dinner Howard is doing tonight. That led to Howard asking Benjy not to sit next to him or stare at him. Benjy said he'd be blindfolded if he wants. Howard said that might work. He said he really doesn't care where they sit or anything. They're all going to have a good time tonight.
Howard played an old clip of Bobo calling in trying to get them to help him get on Deal or No Deal and offered to do anything on the show to get on. He said he'd eat dark chocolate out of Richard's ass. Howard was having problems with the mics in the studio. He got that straightened out and moved on to more phone calls.
One caller said that he saw Beth on Howard TV and she's smoking hot in her episode. Richard asked if he masturbates to his own wife. Howard said that he actually has done that when she goes away. He said the episode with his parents and Beth in the studio is up on Howard TV now.
The caller asked Howard what he will do if Beth gets some kind of fat condition. Howard said he will break up with her.
Howard said he had the Metallica tickets with him already and Bobo will walk out with them if he wins today. Bobo handed him something to clean his glasses with and Howard asked him what the fuck he's doing. He told Bobo he's figured out how to clean his own glasses.
Howard told Bobo about the tickets he was going to win and then told him that he had to do something to win them. He asked Bobo to remove his ponytail and just let the mullet be a mullet. Bobo did that and then Howard had him pull down his pants so he could have Richard play butt bongo on his ass.
Bobo took down his pants and everyone let out a yell of horror when they saw what was going on down there. Bobo said his wife is the big Metallica fan and he's doing this for her. Howard said that Bobo's penis was resting on Richard's lap now. Richard said he has to throw those pants out now.
Howard had Richard do his thing with the butt bongo thing. Bobo got the song wrong when he said it was Dyer's Eve. It was actually ''Blackened.''
Howard had Richard do the second song. Richard slapped the crap out of Bobo's ass and he guessed it was ''Photograph'' but it was ''For Whom The Bell Tolls.'' Bobo was 0 for 2 so far. Will said that Bobo's ass looked like pudding or something.
Richard went on to the next song and Howard told him that he had to get this one right or he was out. Richard played the song and it was an easy one but Bobo got it wrong again. Howard asked the guys if they knew what it was. Everyone in the studio knew it was ''One.'' Richard played some more of it on Bobo's ass as they played the actual song.
Artie said that Bobo sitting there with his mullet was like the cover of ''Loser'' magazine. He also told Richard to play guitar on his penis. Howard said it would be funny if a turd came out of Bobo as Richard was doing that.
Howard told Bobo that it was time to see his piece come off. Will said that they were doing 2 out of 5 so Howard let him play some more. He had Richard go into his next song. Richard pounded away on his ass and Bobo took a guess that it was ''Enter Sandman'' and got it wrong. It was actually ''Dyer's Eve.''
Howard said that Bobo had to take his toupee off now. Bobo didn't sound too happy about that but he went ahead and did it. He said it hurt when he was pulling it off because it was pulling his scalp. Bobo was grunting and saying that they have a whole thing they do at the hair place so they can get it off.
Bobo said they have a technique they use to get it off and he wasn't having any luck getting it off. It eventually pulled off and the guys started to laugh. They all let out laughs and cringed when he pulled it off finally.
Howard told Bobo to take it easy there. He told Bobo that he could lose the rug and he'd look the same. Gary said he's got a funny shaped head. Will said that the smell was awful under there. Richard took a smell and said it must be the sweat.
Howard said that was rough seeing him take that thing off. Artie said that he didn't think he looked that bad. Bobo pulled it the rest of the way off after Howard asked him to. Bobo said that he'd only do this for this show.
Bobo said that it's not fair that he doesn't have his hair anymore. Artie said that he looks like the guy on the subway that helps Patrick Swayze out when he become a ghost in ''Ghost.''
Howard said that maybe Bobo looks better with the piece on. Richie Wilson said they had some wigs for him to try on. He tried one on and a caller said he looked like Joe Dirt in the pictures on the web site.
Richard picked up the toupee and asked Howard if he wanted to smell it. Howard he wasn't going to do that. Howard asked Scott to come in and try on the wig. Scott said he wasn't going to put that nasty thing on his head. He used to have a toupee himself and he doesn't want that thing on there.
Scott told Bobo that he should give up the wig and just shave his head. They were still trying on more wigs. He tried on a red one and Artie said he looked like ''Ugly Everhart.'' They had an Indian headdress on his head too and said that one might work for him.
Howard took another call from a guy who wanted Howard TV but he doesn't have it in his area. Howard said he should move or fly about 1000 miles to see it.
Another caller said that Bobo was a fag and told him not to let Scott touch the tickets because that will make the band break up.
Howard told Bobo he put himself thorough the paces and gave him the tickets that they got for him. The show is in February. Artie told him that they were from 2007. Howard said the tickets came from GetConcertTickets.com
Doug Goodstein came in and said that they wanted to put chocolate frosting on Bobo's head and maybe pour some sprinkles on his head. Bobo was fine with that. Bobo asked for some money or something too so Howard gave him that. He gave him $500 courtesy of ManGroomer.com. They went to break after that.
Crying Basketball Player Discussions. 03/24/06. 7:15am
After the break Howard said that there was some big deal basketball game on last night but he knows nothing about it except that there was a kid crying on the court. Gary came in to explain it for him. Gary said that it was one of the final NCAA games and it was a great finish to the game. Howard played some audio clips from the game where the announcers were going nuts over what had just happened. Howard said that it must have been crazy for the people who bet on the game.
Howard asked if the kid who was crying on the court will go on to the pros. Artie said that he will probably get drafted but wether or not he makes it is another question. The guys spent some time talking about some of the white guys who are playing pro these days.
Howard said that this kid started crying and people were saying that it might haunt him for the rest of his life. He may never live that down because he showed way too much emotion. Howard said that the kid was actually laying down in the court crying. Gary said he pulled his shirt up over his head so people wouldn't see him crying.
Howard said he can picture this kid working at a car dealer and having someone like Wayne Segal showing him off to every customer that comes in. Howard wondered what the kid's name was but no one knew. They had to look it up and found that it was Adam Morrison. Howard was talking about what Adam will have to go through if he doesn't make it in the pros. He had some fun with that coming up with the jobs he might have some day. He had one scenario where he was the guy in charge of selling Fusion razors for Gillette.
Artie said that the worst would be working for a racist guy who would point him out and call him names while doing it. Gary said that every sports guy ends up selling insurance or opening a car dealership. Howard kept going with the different scenarios for that kid and some other sports guys who ended up working in other fields. Howard had a car dealer scenario so Robin told him how the move these days is for a salesman to write up the deal and then go to the manager to get it approved. Howard played with that idea for a short time.
Gary said that the first cartoon cell he bought was from a woman who was the lead in ''Saturday Night Fever.'' The guys spent a minute on that and then moved on to Lisa G.
Shyla Stylez And Gianna Michaels Spin The Wheel Of Sex. 07/30/09. 8:30am
After the break we heard a prank call that the guys made using Ronnie the Limo Driver clips where he's talking about the new Camaro. Fred also played some Green Day as they were coming back.
Howard came back and asked Seth Rogen if he and Adam are close friends now that they've worked together. Seth said they have drastically different lives but they did get along very well while they were working. Seth said he'd love to work with the guy again but they didn't get to be really close friends. Seth said that maybe he and Howard should try going out to dinner or something to see what that would be like. Howard said he was ready to go right then.
Howard said that they had two porn girls coming in now. He said that Gianna Michaels and Shyla Stylez were coming in to spin the Wheel of Sex. The girls came in a short time later. Howard said that they were very attractive. He said it was great to meet girls who actually enjoy having sex.
Seth asked them if they had day jobs on top of the porn. One of the girls said that doing what they do is their day job. They both agreed on that.
Seth asked who fucked the nerd. That was Shyla. Howard said they had just played one of her movies where she did a nerd. She didn't know which movie that was. Shyla said that she wasn't sure what movie that was. She said that they do movies and they don't know what the title is going to be.
Howard asked the girls if they watch their own stuff. Gianna said she does. Shyla said she will up to a point but not the whole thing.
Howard told the girls that Seth admitted that he jerks off to porn so it's nice to hear someone admitting to that. Shyla said she still enjoys watching porn.
Howard told the girls how this Wheel of Sex thing was going to work. Artie interrupted and said that they spin the wheel and then fuck a nerd. Shyla asked which one of them. Artie told her to just throw a rock in the studio and she'd hit one.
Howard said that Gianna has been in porn for 4 years. She was a secretary before that. She hadn't even given a blow job to a man before she got into porn. She said that she had given one other one but it was very awkward. She said that the slobbering it up and stuff was all on film.
Howard asked George if he gets all sloppy like that. George said he does it very wet but very clean too. Howard said Gianna had never even seen porn before she got into the business. She said that she really didn't know much about it at all. She said she ended up getting into it while walking to work one day. She said that she was asked to do some modeling and then into the porn thing. She said that's how it all got started.
Howard said Gianna won't do a ''cream pie'' on film. She said that's when a guy cums inside of her. Seth said it comes back out and they play with it after that. He said he's not a fan of that. He said he'd be fine doing the ground work but nothing after that.
Howard said Gianna is a big fan of Seth's. She told Seth how great he is in the movies he's in. She said he's very funny. Howard asked if she would do Seth if he was single. She said he's not single so she can't say. Gianna said that she doesn't think he's ugly either.
Howard asked Seth if he would ever show his penis on film. Seth said there is always a chance. He said he didn't want to say no because it could happen some day.
Howard said that he was going to have the girls spin the Wheel of Sex and he'd give them plugs after they do that. Howard asked Shyla about doing cum shots on film and there are some things that she won't do. She said that she likes to swallow but some girls won't do it.
Howard asked what Shyla's restrictions are during a ''cream pie'' shoot. Shyla said that she has a morning after pill and things like that to take care of the problem if she does do those things. Howard asked if she did double anal. Shyla said ''maybe.''
Howard asked what Double Anal is. She said that was a long time ago. Seth said it must be weird for the guys because it's two dudes with their dicks rubbing together. Gianna said that she's awkward with guys touching their penises together. She actually called them wieners so the guys found that a little odd.
Howard asked what's harder to do, double anal or double vaginal. Shyla said she hasn't done that in a really long time. She said she doesn't do it now. Shyla said it was the right thing to do at the time but she won't do it again.
Howard asked what the problems are with having loads on her face. Shyla said there is no problem with it but she won't do it in her personal life so she won't do it on film. She said it can cause problems like eye infections and things like that.
Howard said Shyla likes to do the Pile Driver position. He didn't know what that was. Shyla said that she likes that position because she's very visual. Gary knew what it was so he came into the studio to tell him what it was. Gary told Howard that her back would be on the ground with her legs in the air and her vagina straight down so you can pile drive into her.
Howard said that the girls wanted to plug their web sites so they had to spin the Wheel of Sex. Howard said he was going to have Shyla go first.
Shyla spun the wheel and landed on ''Sing While Getting Farted On.'' That meant that she had to sing while Will the Farter farted on her. She had to sing ''Row, Row, Row Your Boat.'' Howard had Will come in so he could do the farting. Seth said he couldn't be any happier right now.
Will came in and said hi to Shyla and then demonstrated his abilities. Will blasted out a few farts for Shyla. Seth asked if Will could fart out ''Funny People Opens July 31st.''
Shyla wasn't ready to get farted on so she backed out of doing it. Howard said he can't give them plugs if they don't do this. Howard said that they were both being bad sports because Gianna wasn't doing it either.
Gianna said that she doesn't think that she should be punished because she didn't even spin the wheel. Gianna said that Seth should come up and spin the wheel too. Artie said he's not a hot chick. Seth said that he would do the farting thing if he had gone up and spun the wheel.
Gianna spun the wheel and landed on ''Chocolate Bandit Mask'' which was going to be Sal, as Captain Sack, giving her a chocolate mask with his nuts. He was going to put chocolate on his balls and smear it on her face. Gianna turned it down.
The girls weren't willing to do what they landed on so Howard asked what they would be willing to do. Gianna said they can feel her boobs, spank her and even let Sal put his balls on her face without the chocolate. She said that she would let the whole crew motorboat her over the chocolate thing.
Gary said he wanted to spin the wheel and tell the girls to fuckin' leave. He said they were done. Howard thanked the girls and said that he thought they were pretty tame things on the wheel. He had Will the Farter blast out a few more for the girls. Will farted some more and it wasn't helping. Shyla was still saying no. She wanted to lick Sal's balls instead.
Howard said Seth had to stand in for them instead. Seth laughed. Gary asked Howard if they could save this bit by having JD come in and feel her up. Howard said he wasn't going to change the rules. He said that he had to end this bit if they're not going to do the things they landed on. Howard thanked the girls for coming in and let them go without any plugs.
Howard said that he had to apologize to Seth for this. Gianna ended up getting in a plug for one of her movies. She had fooled Howard but he didn't hit the delay to block it out. She got in a couple of plugs. Howard asked them to get naked and ride the Sybian and he'd let them get some plugs.
Howard took a vote from the guys and asked what they wanted to do. Jason said he wanted them to end the bit because they ruined it and he had been waiting for it all week. Gary said they had to give them something like a Sybian ride.
Artie told the girls to get the fuck out. Howard said he was going to have to end it then. Gianna got in some more plugs but Sal told her to GetTheFuckOut.com.
Howard had to end it before a fight broke out. Howard thanked Will the Farter for coming in. Will has an iPhone application out now too so he got in a plug for that. He said the app is ''The Ultimate Fart Machine.'' You can download that on iTunes or go to UltimateFartMachine.com
Howard said that maybe Will should demonstrate for Seth since he might get into a movie that way. Will wanted to see how many farts he could do in a couple of minutes. Gary was going to time 2 minutes and Jason was going to count them. Will did a practice run and farted out a few to test his ass. Then he started blasting out his farts.
George Takei was laughing and said he was astounded by this. Will kept farting as the guys were talking over him. Seth said it sounded like it was trying to talk to them. George said it was musical. Sal was standing over him while he was blasting them out.
After the two minutes Howard gave Will some plugs for his web site and iPhone app. Howard said that he did 145 farts in 2 minutes. Seth congratulated him on that. Howard said he impressed Seth with that. George asked if he could do that to Mozart.
Howard thanked Seth for coming in and apologized that the girls didn't work out today. Seth said that one of them whipped out a tit so he did get to see that.
Robin asked George if he would like Will's web site since he does some weird stuff. George said he would. He said that he has heard him fart though so he wouldn't want to see that again. George said that it was enough for him to hear that. Howard gave Will some more plugs and then went to break.
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From The Grave: Michael Hutchence, February 22, 1991. 08/04/11. 8:40am
Next on From the Grave we heard Sam Kinison introducing a Michael Hutchence interview segment.
In this clip we heard Howard back stage at the Grammy Awards in 1991. Howard said he had some real guests coming in next. He was busy interviewing Robin Quivers before that. Howard introduced Tim Farriss and Michael Hutchence from the band INXS. Howard and Michael talked about what they were up to and said they have a good look. Howard said he would love to be a rock star and have those kind of hours. Howard asked if they're single. Both of the guys said they're not really. Howard heard that one of the guys was going out with Kylie Minogue. Howard said he wishes he could get something like that. Howard said he had a sex dream about Robin last night but she pushed him away. Howard said he's kind of a celebrity himself but not like these guys.
Howard said he thought Michael was going to leave the band for a while. Howard said lead singers are kind of strange. He said they have to take care of their voice and not party so much. He said it's sort of a drag. He said it can be a problem when they want to party with the rest of the band and they can't do it. Michael said he had that conversation about an hour ago with his manager.
Howard said that it must be tough to split the money with the rest of the band. They have to split it 6 ways. Howard said the band really is ''in excess.'' Howard asked about who writes and who plays in the band. they went over all of that and figured out who was doing what. Howard said maybe Tim and Michael could do their own group and get some studio musicians to work with them. Tim said that sounds kind of boring to him. He said anyone can do that.
Howard said he wanted to talk about Kylie Minogue. He said the girls must go nuts over them. Robin said that she had to meet Michael when she found out they were there. Robin said she really digs Australians.
Howard asked how Michael met Kylie Minogue. He met her in Singapore and they were talking about singing since they both sing. Howard asked if he's going to dump her the first chance he gets. Michael said she's a really good woman. Howard said it must be nice to have a woman who has her own money. Michael said she's richer than he is. Howard asked Michael if he thinks she really loves him. Michael said he thinks she does.
Howard asked the guys about their new album and told them he likes their new song ''Suicide Blonde.'' Howard asked Michael about cutting off all of his hair last year. Michael said he got sick of the hair after years and years of the same thing. He said he just cut it off one day. Howard said he's a good looking guy and he can't imagine doing that to himself. Michael told Howard he looks like Joey Ramone. Howard said that's not who he wants to look like. He said the guy looks like a monster. He said he's a great guy but he's not good looking.
Howard said a lot of good looking guys try to make themselves ugly. He said he would never do that if he was good looking. He said he'd try to look good all the time. Michael said he's back now and he's got the hair again.
Howard asked the guys to do a song for them. Tim said they had to go to a sound check so they couldn't do it. They were on their way to do a show at the Meadowlands. Howard said he and Robin should get back stage and hang out. The guys told them to come by. Howard said they don't have tickets. The guys said they could put them on the guest list.
Howard told the guys he thinks that Jon Bon Jovi is a dick. Howard told them that he took him under his wing and put him on the show and said he'd make it some day. He said that he told him that they'd make it big some day and had them on all the time and Jon turned his back on them.
Howard asked the guys if they have people in the business they hate. Tim said that they do have to deal with a lot of people like that. Howard asked Michael how he can smoke and keep that voice. Michael said it gives him an edge. He said it's bad for his voice but he does it anyway.
Howard asked if they've ever had 3 girls at the same time. Howard said he has to imagine that they have. The guys said they have had at least that many. Howard said his head would explode if that happened to him.
Howard said he was getting the hi-sign to get the guys out of there. Howard said he likes the guys so much he bought their albums. He didn't even take them for free. Howard wrapped up and let the guys go a short time later.
TDiHH: Howard On Acid - September 20, 1991. 09/20/12. 9:05am
Next up on This Date in Howard History they played a segment from 1991 when Howard talked about being on acid.
In the clip Howard was talking about how Scott the Engineer finished a bit finally. He said it only took him 19 hours to finish it. Howard went into a deep voice and announced the big news. Howard said this is a Hill Street Jews bit that they did. Howard said that it's a made for TV radio movie.
Robin mentioned that something about this discussion reminded her of a scene in ''2001 a Space Odyssey'' and that led to them talking about what an awful movie that was. Robin said her boyfriend dragged her to see it. Howard said he saw it and hated it and then a friend told hi he had to see it on acid. He said that it was the worst trip ever. Howard said it really freaked him out when he heard the voice of Hal saying ''Dave'' over and over. Howard said he was stupid back then. He said that's what he learned at Boston University.
Howard said he had smoked hash all morning before taking the acid. He said he was making out with this chick and she was a big of a scrag. He said he couldn't believe his good fortune. Howard said he went to her dorm room and the guy was there to protect her. He said they made him smoke hash. Howard said he waited all morning for the guy to leave and he never left. Howard said he got more and more paranoid and eventually left. Howard said he took LSD that night. Howard said it was 4 hits but that was by accident. Howard said he didn't enjoy that drug. He won't say what drug he did enjoy. He said he doesn't drink or do drugs or anything now.
Howard played the Hill Street Jews bit that he was talking about earlier. The bit was about the Jews and Blacks fighting in Harlem.
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Slow Adults Vs. Porn Stars Game. 06/04/08. 7:40am
After the break we heard a prank call that Richard made to a woman where he asked her how she was doing over and over again. Fred played a couple of Baba Booey song parodies and then Howard came back. They had the porn stars and slow adults coming in to play this game they had set up.
Howard said that this was going to be a fun game today. He got to the slow adults first and introduced Miss Howard Stern Andrea. He said that she has bigger boobs than ever. He said that they're huge. Andrea said that she wanted silicone instead of saline so she went bigger with them. Andrea is also a nanny now and watching kids and making money. Andrea said that she's not making very good money though.
Artie asked if Andrea gets to watch her own child. Andrea said that she does. Howard asked what was with all of the noise in the studio. Scott the Engineer said that it was the lighting and he has no control over that. Howard told him to tell him if he has a problem and maybe he can do something about it.
Howard said that it sounds like he's inside a vacuum cleaner and he doesn't hear that on other shows. Big Foot told Howard that he has to think about it hard enough and you can always get around a problem. He said that you have to study the problem and figure it out. Howard said that he's right and that's coming from a slow adult. Big Foot apologized for butting in but he thought he had to say something.
Howard got back to Andrea and asked her about the phone call she left two nights ago. She claimed to be on LSD and that she didn't need them anymore. Howard played the call and Andrea was saying that she was going to pack her stuff and come to New York but she doesn't need them anymore. She claimed to be smart and didn't need them. Andrea said that sounded weird. Big Foot said that it sounds like she'd got a drug problem.
Howard asked Big Foot if he's used acid before. Big Foot said of course he has. He said that he took battery acid one time and put it on blotter paper. He said that he blacked right the fuck out and didn't know what happened. Artie asked him how many guys ass fucked him after that. Big Foot mumbled something and asked him what kind of drugs he's on.
Big Foot said that he still thinks about Artie when he takes a shit. He said that he doesn't know what it is but he finds his name funny and it makes him shit.
Howard got back to Andrea again and asked her if she's been with any men lately. Andrea just laughed. She said that she's had the boobs for a couple of months and didn't have an answer when Howard asked if any men have had her.
Howard moved on to Mark the Bagger. Mark said he was ready to play the game. Howard heard that Mark is ready to leave home because he needs to get out on his own. Howard thought that he didn't want his mother around when he was having sex with girls but Mark said that's not true.
Howard asked Mark about the sports memorabilia that he has in his room at home. Mark talked about a Phillies bobble head doll and a Dale Earnhardt clock and some other stuff. He said that he has some Sports Illustrated Swimsuit pictures hanging in his room too. Howard said it sounds similar to Ronnie the Limo Driver's basement.
Howard said you can check out a documentary about Mark at BaggerTheMovie.com.
Howard moved on to Big Foot and said that he's one of the most popular Wack Packers on the show. Big Foot wanted to go get something to show Howard but Howard asked him to stay in there for now. Big Foot is still having problems up in Vermont and talked about how he wanted to sue the state for treating him the way they do. He said that the whole state is involved and they're trying to ruin his life.
Big Foot said that he was on a camp site and a bunch of people were questioning him about the tent and stuff like that. He said that he lives up near the Canadian border so he had the border police on him too.
Howard said that Big Foot was hospitalized over the winter too. He read that he had almost shit his pants. Big foot said that sometimes he can't get to the toilet fast enough for his ''vast bowel movements.'' He said that happens accidentally and it all comes out at once.
Howard asked Big Foot if he's looking for a girlfriend. Big Foot said that they are looking and he wants to do a whole movie about it.
Howard heard that Mark the Bagger was really into Andrea. Mark said that's true. Big Foot was talking about one of the porn stars that he liked so Artie said that they need to get her some security. Big Foot said that he was looking at Andrea until he saw this Memphis chick. He said that he dumped Andrea as soon as he saw this other chick.
Mark the Bagger told Andrea he thought she was hot. Andrea thanked him for that but said that she's not sure if she'd date him. Mark told Andrea that he has a big cock that's maybe 6 inches. Andrea still wasn't interested. Howard told her that Mark has his own movie now. Howard asked the slow adults if they think they can beat these porn stars. Mark the Bagger said that they can.
Howard moved on to the porn stars and started with Brooke Scott. He talked about how she's been in the industry for 2 years and has made 75 films. She's got one out called ''Fuck Truck'' out right now. Brooke said that she was so drunk that she didn't remember doing the shoot at all. Howard played a clip from that movie where she was screaming like crazy as she was getting banged.
Howard had Big Foot and Mark the Bagger talking dirty to Brooke. Big Foot was saying things like ''Oh you rotten fucking pig it is...'' Mark the Bagger talked dirty to her as well.
Howard moved on to Jesse Lee who has only made 11 movies so far. Howard asked her about some of the stuff she likes to do in movies. She likes to be choked and likes to bite and do things like that when she's having sex. She claims to have had sex with Dave Navarro just a couple of months ago. She said that he fucked her in his dressing room at the House of Blues. She said that he did put a rubber on. She said that he wanted them to slap him around and spit on him and stuff like that. Jesse said that she also stuck her finger up his butt at his request.
Howard asked Andrea if she wishes that she could have sex with Dave Navarro. Andrea said no to that. Howard played some audio of Jesse Lee having sex in one of her movies. She said it was just regular sex.
Howard moved on to Memphis Monroe. Big Foot was talking about how attracted to her he was a little earlier. Howard told Big Foot he'd have to give it to her hard and good. Big Foot said that he'd know what to do with her.
Howard said that Memphis likes to be choked in bed too and she passed out one time and almost died. Memphis said that her husband does that to her. She had a story about having to blow a guy through a pizza in one of her movies one time. She said that it was kind of gross. Artie told her that she doesn't have to do that stuff, it is a free country.
Howard asked Memphis when she realized that she liked being choked. She said it was probably on set one time. Howard asked Mark the Bagger if he'd like doing that. Mark said no to that and he has no desire to go to jail for accidentally killing someone by doing that.
Howard asked Big Foot about his past sexual experiences and how he got blown by a guy in jail so he could get some ''happy smoke.'' Howard asked Big Foot about his drug use and battery acid use. Howard said that he does stuff that no one else does like using battery acid instead of regular acid.
Howard played a clip from one of Memphis' movies. She was playing a student who wasn't wearing panties so the teacher had to punish her. Big Foot heard the clip and said that could only be one of two things with that sound. He said that it was her getting ass fucked or fucked in the front with the belly skin snapping back. Memphis said it was the front.
Howard moved on to the game and said that the game was being sponsored by Howard TV's Bowling Beauties. He gave some plugs for the porn stars and everyone else. Here are their plugs:
Howard moved on to the game and explained what they were going to be doing. He had questions and he was going to start with the slow adults. He asked Andrea ''What does CPA stand for?'' No one was allowed to help her out. Andrea didn't know the answer. She didn't even know what her breast size was when Howard asked her that.
Brooke knew that CPA meant Certified Public Accountant so the porn stars got the point. Howard said it wasn't looking good for the slow adults. Howard asked Andrea if she even knows what an accountant does. She didn't.
Howard asked Mark the Bagger ''Whose famous speech had the words ''I have a dream...'' Mark knew it was Dr. Martin Luther King. He answered immediately. Andrea claimed that she would have known that one too.
Howard went to Jesse Lee and asked her to spell Rhode Island. She spelled it correctly and got the porn stars another point. Howard said that the girls were a little too intelligent for them.
Howard asked Big Foot ''Who is the republican nominee for President?'' Big Foot thought about that and said ''That Obama character it is...'' He was wrong. Memphis knew it was John McCain so they took another point. Artie asked if they were stripping at Harvard or something.
Howard went to Andrea and asked ''Where is your areola?'' She said ''on your breast'' and got it right. Brooke was up again so Howard asked ''Who is the current first lady?'' Brooke didn't know the answer. She asked if it was Barbara Bush. Mark the Bagger said it was Hillary Clinton. Jesse didn't know, Big Foot didn't know either. He kept throwing out answers but Fred kept hitting the buzzer on him each time he'd give an answer. Howard went to Memphis and she thought it was Barbara Bush too. Andrea actually knew it was Laura Bush. She said that she saw it on the news and remembered it.
Howard asked Brooke ''What is the square root of 16?'' She knew it was 4. Up next was Mark the Bagger with ''What is the last name of the TV talk show host Regis?'' Mark said that it was Regis Philbin and got it right.
Howard asked Jesse ''Spell tomorrow.'' She got it right. He went to Big Foot and asked ''Which side won the Civil War?'' Big Foot said ''American side.'' Howard went to Memphis and asked her the same. She knew it was the North.
Howard said that the porn stars were in the lead with 6 and the slow adults with 4. Howard went to Andrea again and asked her ''Who is the Vice President of the United States?'' Andrea got it right with Dick Cheney.
Howard went to the porn stars and asked ''Who is Barack Obama's spiritual advisor?'' Brooke didn't know, neither did Mark the Bagger. No one knew the answer. Howard told them that it was Rev. Jeremiah Wright.
Howard asked ''What does U.N. stand for'' and the porn stars got that. He asked Big Foot who plays guitar for Van Halen. Big Foot said ''Van Halen does.'' Howard needed a first name but Big Foot had no idea. Jesse knew it was Eddie Van Halen.
Howard asked Andrea to spell coffee. She got it right. Memphis had to spell Saturday and got that right. He asked Mark the Bagger what the M in MTV stood for. He knew it was Music. Howard asked Brooke what JFK's last name was. She knew it was Kennedy.
Big Foot was asked ''What is the name of the hot imaginary line that separates the northern and southern hemispheres?'' Big Foot had no clue. Howard gave him an easier one. He asked ''What does the DC in Washington DC stand for?'' Big Foot had no clue on that one either. Big Foot was rambling on about what Washington DC was and what you do there but he didn't have a clue that they just wanted to know what the DC stood for. Jesse knew that it was District of Columbia. Big Foot thought that they were asking him the hardest questions possible and it wasn't fair. Gary asked him if he can spell Saturday. Big Foot said he can't spell.
Howard asked Andrea ''How many donuts make up a dozen?'' She got it right. Howard asked Memphis ''What planet is known as the red planet?'' She knew it was Mars.
Howard asked Mark the Bagger ''How many weeks are in a year?'' Mark guessed 36. Brooke knew it was 52. Howard said that Big Foot was looking really depressed. He said he didn't even want to be there anymore. He said that they're getting the most complicated questions for someone who only has a 6th grade education.
Howard asked Big Foot ''According to the bible, who were the first people on earth?'' Big Foot knew it was Adam and Eve. He finally got one right. Big Foot said that was finally something that he knew. He said that he now knows that there are 32 weeks in a year now too.
Howard asked Brooke what year Christopher Columbus sailed to America. She didn't know. Andrea didn't know, Jesse got it with 1492.
Howard asked Mark what 5621 x 0 equaled. Mark guessed it was 5621. The porn stars took the point. Howard asked Big Foot some more questions for fun but the porn stars had already taken the win. The slow adults had no chance at that point.
Big Foot was getting all nervous about not winning because he was told he was going to get some travel money for coming in. Gary said that they've told him 100 times already that they're going to pay him as soon as he's done.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to the slow adults and then to the porn stars. He gave them some more plugs and told them that they won $5000. Mark the Bagger talked about the stuff he does in his movie and how Bam Margera is in it.
Big Foot wanted to show some pictures that he brought with him but no one would bring them in. Howard told Big Foot that he can't slow the show down like that.
Richie Wilson from Howard TV came in and asked if the girls were going to take their tops off. The girls took their tops off right away. They all claimed they were real breasts but Richie said they were lying. Howard asked Andrea if she was going to take her top off. Andrea hesitated and didn't answer.
Howard asked Memphis if they could see her completely nude because Big Foot was really into her. Memphis stripped down a short time later and said she had a scar from an operation she had a couple of weeks ago. She said she had an ectopic pregnancy so she had to have it removed. Big Foot said that he'd eat that all night long and she'd be coming all night long. He said he has a certain method for doing that and he knows how to find that special bone down there.
Brooke showed her vagina to the guys and she was fully shaved. Howard said that Jesse Lee was also fully naked. Howard wrapped up with everyone a short time later and went to break.
Today's Mammary Lane was over around 11:30am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's Mammary Lane. After that Jon said they really run the gamut there with that they played. He said that they have a poll up today about Bobo and if he should wear a toupee or not. Jon said they'll have the results at the end of the show. Jon asked Sam if he has a preference. Sam said he thinks that it looks ridiculous and he should not wear it. Sam said the only thing in cancer they apologize for is losing your hair. He said he loved losing his hair.
Jon said they heard the Porn Stars Vs. Slow Adults game today. Jon asked what Howard does that no other broadcaster does that makes it possible for him to pull that off. Sam said he walks that line between letting the listeners in on the joke and taking it seriously too. He said he liked when Howard would try to be sympathetic with Eric the Actor and infuriate him at the same time. Jon said that's what makes the interviews so unique to the show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Artie was so mean to Big Foot in that last bit. He asked if there has ever been a Wack Packer that Howard doesn't love. Jon said he thinks he loves them because they contribute to the show. He said they do run hot and cold though. He said there are times he doesn't want to talk to certain people for months. Sam said he thinks Howard cares about these guys. He said he has a kind side to his nature and that's why he can do some of the stuff that he does. Jon said that they had to take a break after that.
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Jon asked Sam if he has seen the Hollywood circle grow since it started. Sam said that you still see it today but if someone says something negative about the show they really don't listen. Sam said the thing he's getting is that it's the best interview in show business. Sam said he's the guy that you want to hear interview someone you're interested in. Jon said a lot of people are on that now and it's well deserved.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the rest of the show has become AGT, kittens, news and then two weeks off. He said the show isn't what it once was. Jon said that it changes from year to year. He said when you combine the interviews with the wack pack it's not like everyone is going to like everything. Sam said he has been listening for 25 years and the show gets better year after year. He said you should be grateful for what you've got and relax.
Jon said he gets trashed all the time but he has to respect the passion for the show. Jon said that's what good radio is all about.
Jon took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she had to call in. She said Sam is an inspiration. She said she feels the pain in the pictures he posts. Mariann asked Sam what direction Howard will go this year when his contract ends. Jon said that's a great question. Sam said he has no inside knowledge whatsoever but he's been through enough contract negotiations that he's hoping it works out. He said he's happy with fewer days or later days. He said it's all fine for him.
Jon said that Sam maintains a great sense of humor about the whole cancer thing. Jon said he may not agree with all of his causes but he respects his passion for them. Jon said even if you don't agree with that point of view you have to respect his long term dedication to those causes. He said he thinks Howard sees them and respects him for them too. Sam said he was so excited to do this Wrap Up Show today. He said he thought they asked him by mistake. He said he played the cancer card and said that it comes at a great time. Sam said that it was for real and he was very excited. He said last night his doctor called and he has a potentially fatal blood infection that returned and he has to go in for an operation. He said he had to do this show first. He said at 12 he has to go do something. He said he'll be on Propofol. Jon said he can't imagine what he's going through. He said he appreciates him putting the show ahead of that though. He said that his priorities are all out of order.
Jon said that Sam has been going through so much on an ongoing basis just to stick around a little longer. Sam said he thought he was going to say it's getting annoying that he's sticking around so long.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about Big Foot and if he's exposed himself to the porn stars. He said he's always talking about how big he is. Jon said that he hasn't shown it to the porn stars but they may be used to that kind of thing. Jon asked Sam what he thinks. Sam said he was marveling at Jon's answer. He asked who has seen Big Foot's cock. Jon said he may come in soon and they'll all see it. Sam said that they're all assuming that it's big. Jon said he thinks that Jon Leiberman has seen it after being embedded with him. He said that Big Foot claims it's 10 inches or so. He said Big Foot and his girlfriend are due in soon so they may find out then. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's pulling for Sam. He said he's also a Ralph fan. He said he has noticed that Ralph was a Sam disciple and he sounds exactly like Sam and he laughs just like Sam. He wondered if anyone has pointed that out. Sam said he stole everything from Ralph. Jon said Ralph is accused of stealing Howard's look as well. He asked if that's fair to say. Sam said if you walk with Ralph and see how many people ask for his autograph then you'll see how much he's mistaken for him. Jon said he really is mistaken for Howard often. He said both Ralph and Sam are very opinionated and they are great callers to the show.
Jon asked Sam if he has spoken to Howard at all over the past few months. Sam said Howard doesn't like him to talk about this but he has been a tremendous friend and it's very hard to know how to deal with people who are sick. Sam said that Howard is an example of someone who will just call and say hello to cheer you up. Jon said Sam doesn't want pity, he just wants to be treated like himself. Sam said what he doesn't want is people to come up to him and tell him how their father died of cancer last year after a 5 year excruciating, miserable, emaciating battle with death. Sam said he's not dead. He said that they must be unburdening themselves. He said it's a curious thing that people do. Jon said they do it for their own good and not for Sam's good. He said they get something off their own chest.
Jon said Sam has so much to give and they must be hitting him up for a lot of stuff. He said that Sam must be able to read between the lines. Sam said his money is in a trust and that money will be distributed between PETA, Sea Shepard, Mercy for Animals and his food bank and other things. He said people hear about that and they think he's dying on a throne with big bags of gold. He said they tell him how they want him to finance their cosmetic line or they just ask for a Porsche. Jon said Sam has the throne from Game of Thrones in his house. Sam asked if he reads the books and if that spoils the TV show for him. Jon said he does but the writing and storytelling is so great that it doesn't ruin it for him to know what's going to happen.
Jon took a call from a guy who let Sam know how much he respects what he's done in his life. Sam said he's glad he and Gandhi can be inspirations. The caller asked Sam who he thinks the three all time top wack packers were. Sam asked if Tiny Tim counts. Jon said no. Sam said Beetlejuice, Hank the Dwarf and Eric the Actor are his top picks. Jon asked about High Pitch Eric. Sam said he has gotten to know some of the wack packers and High Pitch Eric makes him uncomfortable. He said he's a little skeeved out. He said he shook his hand once and he had the most clammy, moist hand he's ever shaken.
Jon said he has the poll results and 56 percent of the votes say that Bobo should not wear that toupee. Sam said he can stay in the country then. Jon wrapped up the show after getting in a plug for today's Sternthology. He wished Sam luck with his procedure today. Sam can be found on Twitter at @SimonSam. They were done around 12:05pm.\
Today's Mammary Lane was over around 11:25am.
After the clip Jon said that the fans picked some great segments. Jon said that they had Hank beating Gary in Rock and Roll trivia. Jon said that Mark has some of that in his history too. Mark said hank beat him too. He said that he knew a lot of stuff about rock. Mark said he also lost to Hank. Jon said he was drunk at the time too. He said if he was sober who knows what he would have been able to do.
Jon said they played two pranks today and one was Fake Arnold talking to George Takei. He said the other was the Sal Governale ''Hi, this is Sal Governale.'' infamous 5 words. Jon said they're going to break down that apology today. He said they have a poll up about that and they're asking if people think that apology was sincere or not. Jon asked Mark what he thinks. Mark said the apology was so racist. He said he kept digging the hole deeper and deeper. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
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Jon took a call from a woman who said that Sal apology is so insincere but she could listen to it over and over again. She said she loves his lack of command of the English language. She said you can tell when Sal throws in the word ''tremendously'' that he doesn't have a lot of synonyms in his vocabulary. She also pointed out that he thinks that Italian is a race. Jon said he has both the first and second apology. He said that this first one was made and that's not the most famous one. He played that one for the caller and she said you'd think that he'd write it down and read it. Jon said that's what they're dealing with. Jon said they had Sal do a second apology and had him get more specific. Jon said that first one would have been good enough but Howard took it to the second one and that's what makes Howard, Howard. Mark said he wouldn't call Sal stupid but the things he doesn't care about he's in Sal World. Jon said as a special treat he has the second apology which is the most famous one. Jon said he couldn't wait to play that one on the Wrap Up Show that day but Howard got to it first. Jon said that might be one of the most famous things that's happened on the show since they started there. Jon played that second apology for everyone.
After the clip Jon said that doesn't get better. Mark said that he brings everyone into the apology. He said that he's saying it's society's problem. Jon said there are so many gems there. He said he starts laughing when Sal says ''White women...'' He said he loves when he says that it doesn't matter what kind of baby you have.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Sal is a frickin moron. He said whatever it is Sal should have known it was a joke from the start. He told the guys that they're doing a great job on the show today too.
Jon said that you do get pranked and you do fall for stuff. He said Howard has shown how he can change your mind on things. He said this is inexcusable because he was in his office with Richard recording this stuff. He said Richard was pranking him and he had no idea this was going on. He said everything with the prank worked. Jon said it was a thing of beauty.
Mark said Howard brings you into that world and you feel like you're a part of it. He said he was wondering about Miss Howard Stern too. He said he was wondering if her daughter's name is really Beyonce too. Jon said she is alive and kicking and she's still Miss Howard Stern as far as he knows. He said she's one of many unique characters on the show. Mark said they have so many great moments on the show that they've been playing this week.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loved that Sal prank and he would have loved it even more if he had said he wasn't a racist but he is a turtle. Jon said he won't say that Sal is a racist but if you're ever saying ''I'm not a racist'' repeatedly then you might be a racist. Mark said that's the right philosophy. He said Sal is funny and hilarious but he was raised a little differently. Jon said over the years they have gotten to know Sal and he has become more aware of things as the years have gone on.
Jon said you do wonder if Sal meant what he said in the apology. He said that he's not sure how much his point of view has changed since then. Mark said in the early shows you see that he's gotten smarter. He said years ago Sal wanted to be Howard's best friend but things have changed since then. Jon mentioned that his ring tone for a while was ''Hi, this is Sal Governale'' right before they went to break.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Sal grew up in a racist house if he thought those comments weren't racist. Jon asked if he's saying it's not his fault then. The caller said ''Yep.'' Mark said he disagrees with that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal is that dumb. He said he can't stand Sal. He said he's not sure how he's so oblivious to the world. He asked if he's really like that. Jon said yes. He said he doesn't hate Sal at all. He said he's a close friend of his. He said Sal has said he doesn't read the newspaper because he doesn't need to know that stuff. He said he cares about this kids and his wife and all of that. The caller asked how much Sal spends on his teeth and Rogaine and makeup. He said he lives in New York City with 3 kids. He asked if he's that oblivious. Jon said he raised a bunch of different issues. He said Sal does care about his kids. He said he's a great dad and he spends a ton of time with his kids. He said Sal has become better educated. He said he thinks that Sal has his faults but he cares about his personal appearance. Jon said he thinks Sal doesn't care so much about being on the air anymore. Mark said you can't hang with Howard being as quick as he is without being bright and quick. He said Sal only cares about the things important to his own life.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if he's the only one who loves Sal. He said he's sick of hearing about AGT, cats and animals and he wants to hear more Sal. Jon said Howard wouldn't keep him around if he didn't want him there. He said he can't get enough of Sal himself. Mark said that Sal is polarizing. He said that people do dislike him but they want to hear more of him. He said that he has no filter and that's what they love. He said he brings so much to the show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Gilbert Gottfried is one of the most underrated comics of all time. He said he also thinks that Sal was just trying to be an asshole and be funny on the show. He said he doesn't think he'd dumb at all. Jon said he agrees about Gilbert. He said he loves when Gilbert is on the show. He said there was a period of years when he would sit in and it was so great. He said at the end of Mammary Lane Howard and Gilbert keep the news going and you hear Gilbert at his finest. Mark said that Artie and Gilbert used to have a lot of great times on the show. He said Gilbert hasn't been in for a while. Jon said he thinks he was on last year. He said he comes in when he's promoting stuff and when Howard wants him on. Mark said they're overdue for Gilbert to be on the show. Jon said they don't have people sit in on the news anymore so that might be part of it.
Jon said he has the poll results. He said that 95 percent of the votes say that Sal was not sincere with that apology. Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and wrapped up after that. They were done around 12:05pm.
Today's Mammary Lane was over around 11:10am.
Jon asked Mark what his vote is. Mark said they're both so memorable. He said he has to go with Maurey and the OJ call. He said he is on par with Captain Janks for how calm he was in that call. Jon said that is one of the all time greats. He said he loves hearing Sal cry. He said he'd vote for the OJ call too though.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they think that Sal will ever learn. Mark said he doesn't think so and that's why he's in so many of these replays. He said that he never learns. Jon said he does learn but he learns very little. Jon said that he isn't sure what Howard is doing at the end of this contract but he thinks Sal would fall for it again. They went to break after that.
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Jon took a call from a guy who said he doesn't know if there is a better prank than the one that they pulled on Sal. He said the pure emotion was unbelievable. Jon said that yesterday they played the prank on Sal where he had to make the apology. He said he would say that tops today's prank. Mark said he agrees with the caller that the re-signing call had such a visceral reaction from Sal. He said when he was talking about his boys he shed a tear himself. He said he was crying and laughing along with that one.
The caller also said he thinks that Al Michaels has the great lines in that OJ prank. He said that line was something he laughed out loud at. He said it was absolute brilliance. Mark said that Al is a huge Howard Stern fan and back in the 90s it wasn't so cool to admit that. He said Al being a fan was a big deal and having him on the show was unbelievable. That led to Jon playing some of that prank call to Peter Jennings.
Jon said that Al didn't say Howard Stern in that clip. He said that Peter Jennings had tunnel vision. He said OJ was getting out of the car and A.C. was there and all of that. He said that part of him wonders how he doesn't know after the ''Baba Booey to y'all''. He said maybe he didn't know he was being pranked. Jon said even Al didn't know why he said it was a farcical call and ''lest anyone think.''
Mark said when you hear ''And a Baba Booey to y'all'' you have to know it's fake. He said Peter Jennings kept that Anchorman shtick going. Jon said he's not sure he was doing that. He said he was just doing his job and doing it well.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Mark is doing a great job. He said that he couldn't believe that Sal was had again on the show. He said that in the current format of the show he doesn't think that it would happen again. He asked if Sal will ever be on the Wrap Up Show again. Jon said he isn't on the show anymore but he can go on Howard's show and talk about that stuff. Mark said he thinks that Howard could prank him again. He said he thinks it will be done again too.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Sal has talked about what he will do if Howard retires. Jon said today it's very cold there and 3 of the rails split and broke from the cold. He said he got a call from Sal asking for a ride at 7 this morning. He said that Sal has his finances more under control than he did when the last contract ended 5 years ago. He said Sal was in deep shit back then. He said he really didn't have a handle on his finances but he's doing better now. He said he is more aware of spending. He said he has one credit card instead of 10. He said Sal could still use a couple more bucks but he is in better shape now.
Mark asked what Sal will do if Howard does retire or quit after this contract. Jon said Sal will cry. Mark wanted to talk about the other guys like Richard and JD too. Jon said that Sal can do other things. He said that he can do stand up and things like that. He said that he thinks he has the act and he can go out and do something. He said he thinks Sal and Richard could do a show on their own for a couple of years. He said he thinks on day one Sal is a mess. He said JD is in a great position. He said his personal skills might not be good but he has those editing skills. He said he has Howard's endorsement too. Jon said he thinks that Howard will look out for JD more than anyone else. Mark said he thinks that he agrees 100 percent with Jon. He said he's not sure that Sal could make a living as a stand up comic though. He said JD is good at what he does but he has to find another place to fit in. He said his articulation skills aren't the best and that could hold him back. Jon said Richard is a great drummer so he could go out and do that. He said he has the ability and track record for having done it before. Mark said he thinks he's right about that and Richard is one of the best drummers out there. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon took a call from a guy who asked Mark what his bit would be if he could pick a bit to be on Mammary Lane. Mark said he has so many great memories of being on the show. He said they got to be on the play ''Psychedelic Bee'' on the show. He said they went from selling 30 records a week to selling 2000. He said that they had that song ''Fly'' on that next album so you can blame Howard for helping make that a hit.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she is so glad to hear Mark on the show. She said she loves listening to him. Mark said she makes an old man proud. Jon said Mark has been on the show Extra for years. The caller said she wasn't aware of that. She said that she did see him on Celebrity Wife Swap. Mark said he was on that. He said that he swapped with Coolio and Coolio tried to hit on his wife for real. He said he didn't understand the nature of the show.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she thought the prank on Sal was great because of the reactions afterward. She said that everyone wanted to hear it again and hear it repeated. She said that made it all that much more funny. Jon said he has the poll results and 68 percent of the fans picked that prank as the best. Jon said that the fans have spoken. He said maybe the fans liked that more because it happened more recently. Mark said that Howard announced he was re-signing that day so they got a double whammy. He said they had that and the prank and it was such a great prank on a great day.
Jon said that no one called about the Petcock thing. He said they had that and more. Mark said that Ronnie is great. He said that he deserved everything he got over that petcock thing. He said it just wasn't fair to Howard. Jon said he didn't know what a Petcock was until he heard about that on the show.
Jon said that if you mention the petcock then you have an insane NASCAR fan or a fan of Howard's. Mark said that's the great thing about Stern nation. He said that all the fans want to talk to him about is the Stern show. He said he loves talking about it and he loves the passion. He said he's proud to be a part of it.
Jon wrapped up the show and got in a plug for Sternthology. They finished up around 11:45am.