|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard and the guys returned from their week long vacation this morning. Howard started the show off talking about being back and how awful the hours are there. He said he had to go to bed early last night after trying to stay up to watch the Oscars. Artie said he fell asleep at 4 in the afternoon after doing a show on Saturday night and didn't wake up until this morning.
Howard said they had so many things to talk about today. He wanted to talk about that monkey, the Oscars, vacation and all of that stuff. He said they have a couple of hours to get to though so they'll get to it all. Howard said they have to talk about Adam Carolla losing his job. Howard also said that they have to talk about the bailing out of SIRIUS XM.
Robin said that Jimmy keeps rising up and Adam seems to be falling. Howard said he doesn't think that's the case but maybe she's right.
Howard said he wanted to see Jerry Lewis last night but he heard he was acting pretty normal on the Oscars. Howard said they keep losing audience with that show. Howard said he's straight and the Oscars have just gotten so gay. Howard said that there are a lot of straight guys who want to see all of that stuff but they have that Hugh Jackman hosting and he comes out and sings the gayest number. Howard said that it was the gayest thing in the history of the awards show.
Howard said that the whole Hugh Jackman thing wasn't very well put together. He said he likes the guy but the whole thing was just too gay and horrible to sit through. Robin said that it reminds you of Billy Crystal in a bad way.
Artie said that his only interest was to see the comedians doing their monologues in the show. He said he didn't even know the Oscars were on last night.
Howard said he was cringing when he saw the opening to the Oscars. He watched the opening pre-show with Lisa Rinna and that stuff. He said he didn't actually watch it, Beth had him turn it on.
Artie said that he thinks that they got a guy who isn't going to make fun of the celebrities there and that's what's going on with the Hugh Jackman thing. Howard said it appears that they've handed the show over to gay people to handle. Artie asked how that happened. Howard said a comedian really should host that.
Howard said that Lisa Rinna was supposed to come in there. Gary said that was last week and they were away. Howard said that Lisa did something that he warned her not to. He said that she blew up her lips to the size of two hot dogs. Howard said that someone who knows her told him about this and he's not sure why she would think that looks normal. Howard said that she must be so ill that she thinks she doesn't look right without her lips being inflated like tires.
Howard said that a lot of people look at her in horror and rush out of there. Howard said that he saw some of the celebrities running out on her. He said that Mickey Rourke did tell her that she looked good. Howard said that what Mickey did to his face is just horrible. He said that he must be seriously ill as well.
Howard said that Ben Stiller coming out as Joaquin Phoenix was great on the show. He also liked what Tina Fey was doing. Robin said that the Pineapple Express bit they did was good too.
Howard said that they ripped off Meryl Streep by not giving her the Oscar. Howard said he thought it was good that Slumdog Millionaire won. He said that movie deserved the win.
Robin said that they cut to Angelina and Brad when Jennifer Aniston was up on stage. Howard said that was great and that's what people want to see. Howard said he thought that was really good and he's pretty sure that Brad will complain about it to the people who run that show. Robin said that Brad and Angelina are congratulated for just being.
Howard said that he had some clips from the show but he didn't think too many of them were worth playing. He said he had the opening to the show and played some of that. In that clip he was singing about not seeing ''The Reader'' and it was really bad.
Howard said that he had a clip of Bill Maher but he hadn't seen that. In that clip Bill was joking about religion and seemed to think that his movie should have been up for a nomination. Howard said he thinks that his movie should have been nominated too and he's right up there with Bill.
Howard played some of Jerry Lewis making his speech. Jerry sounded a bit upset during his speech. Howard gave him an ''uh oh'' when he heard that. Lewis thanked some people and got off stage pretty quick. Robin said that he wasn't getting upset, he just can't speak at that age.
Howard said that he thought Private Parts should have won for that thing that he and Paul Giamatti did with the ''WNnnnnnBC'' thing. He said there wasn't anything better that year. He played some of that before moving on.
Howard said that they got screwed on that year. He said that was funny. Robin said that was a solo event there and they'd have to hear all of the movies that were nominated that year.
Howard played another clip of Paul Giamatti doing his thing in ''Private Parts'' yelling at Howard in a scene. Howard said that Paul deserved the award even if he didn't. Robin said that he got nominated in later years. Howard said that he didn't get it for that one though. Gary came in and told Howard that they were up against ''Titanic,'' ''As Good as it Gets,'' ''Good Will Hunting,'' ''LA Confidential,'' and ''The Full Monty.''
Howard said he saw ''Forgetting Sarah Marshall'' was really funny. He said that the guy was funny as hell in that and he shows his cock in the whole movie. Howard said that he's got a big cock and he doesn't mind showing it in that movie. Howard and the guys talked about that for a couple of minutes.
Gary said that he and Artie were in an airport one time and they saw this chick walking toward them and then they realized it was Macauley Culkin. They were talking about Culkin's girlfriend at one point so that's why it came up.
Howard said that he had some other clips to play. One of them was Alan Arkin saying ''Seymour Phillip Hoffman'' instead of ''Phillip Seymour Hoffman.'' Howard played that clip and said that he doesn't really get noticed even though he's a great actor.
Artie said that he's in that ''Before The Devil Knows You're Dead'' and it's a great one. Howard asked Gary to put that one on his Netflix list. He said that he had to send back a bunch of DVDs that weren't playing on his DVD player. Gary said that Howard should be downloading the movies through Netflix. Howard didn't know how to do that so Gary filled him in on the boxes that allow you to do that. He told Howard about the Voodoo box and how he's able to watch some of those movies on that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard called that ''Slumdog Millionaire'' thing months ago. He also thought it was kind of lame that they brought out the previous winners to announce the awards.
Howard said that Goldie Hawn was looking kind of odd and that she may have had some bad surgery. Howard said that it's not bad surgery, it's just that you get too old and the surgery doesn't work. Howard said that they try to look young but it's impossible at some point. He said that it's just over and you're not that hot anymore. He said that she's even blown up her lips but not quite to the size of Lisa Rinna's. Howard said he thought Goldie was going to float away with those huge lips.
The caller said he was checking to make sure that Artie hadn't died during their vacation. Howard said he was wondering about that too.
Howard said Janks was getting paid and he was refusing to believe that he was doing this but now he believes it. Howard said he doesn't know what to tell Janks but he believes that he's just fucking up.
Janks told Howard that he had some addiction problems. He said that he was addicted to prescription pain killers. He said that he was addicted to them and ''doing it all.'' He said that he was also drinking.
Artie said that Janks called in a couple of years ago and talked about taking an Oxycontin. Janks said that it has been going on for quite a while and it was starting to catch up to him. He said that his car went, then his rent wasn't getting paid and things like that.
Artie asked him what he was buying, Oxy's and Vikodins. Janks said that's what it was. Howard asked Janks if he lost his job. Janks said that he did lose his job. Janks said that the place he lives in is all he has left.
Artie said that when you get addicted to that stuff you need more and more as time goes on and that's why you steal from anywhere you can. Artie asked him if he got Subutex.
Howard wanted to get more details about the stiffing of the bars. Janks said that he lost his car first of all. Then he tried to rent a car to get to the gigs. He said that opened up a whole other can of worms. He said that he wouldn't have the money to pay for that stuff either.
Artie said he doesn't know how Janks got these places to pay him in advance. He said that's pretty amazing. Howard said that he is a bright guy but he doesn't want to apply that to work.
Janks said that what it came down to is that he went to some people in his life and asked them for help. Janks said that they did an intervention and he went away to rehab. Robin asked him if he owes Langford an apology. Janks said that Steve was the catalyst and things kept getting worse. Howard said that he's still in denial over this. Janks said that he wasn't able to get bookings.
Gary said that Janks has nowhere to go now. He said he may end up in one of those sober houses. Janks said that his parents are retired and not in the best of health so that's not an option for him. He said that he has to do what he has to do to make it. Janks said he has to go to meetings and he's going to do what he has to do to make it.
Gary said that they figured out that Janks didn't make 8 or 9 appearances. Janks said that he was chugging along and doing what he had to. Gary asked him how he lost it all. Artie said that he had to have been spending it on the pills.
Artie asked Janks where he was getting the pills. Janks said he was getting it off the street. He said he had to pay like 30-40 bucks a pill out on the street. Janks said that he was probably heading down the road toward taking heroin. Howard said that may have been cheaper.
Janks said that he was taking 80mg pills and Artie seemed to think that was kind of insane. Janks said that he's going to get himself back on his feet and he will make those appearances that he promised to make. He said that he never intended not to make them, he's just trying to get back on his feet now. Janks said that he has to go to meetings and things like that.
Howard said he believes in Janks and he's glad that he's trying to straighten out his life. He said he hopes that he'll get back to working at the gas station and bring himself back to where he was. Janks told Howard that he never worked in a gas station. He just said that to protect his real jobs. He said that the employers would tell him that he couldn't say where he worked or he'd be fired.
Howard said that Janks was brilliant making the phony phone calls he made and he has a brilliant mind in there. He said that he was able to get through to people that others wouldn't be able to. Janks wasn't saying what kind of work he was actually doing either because he was still trying to protect that part of his life.
Janks said that he's trying to make it through all of this without taking other drugs. Artie asked him if he could do anything live on stage because he might be able to give him a gig. He told him he'd send him the money in advance.
Howard gave Janks a $500 prize courtesy of the movie ''Sex Drive'' which is out on DVD now. Howard said that he saw the movie and it's actually pretty good with the naked girls they just throw in there for no reason.
Howard played a clip of Janks making a phony phone call the night Bob Hope died. He was playing the part of Bob hope's writer when he called in and spoke to a reporter about Bob's death. Of course Janks threw out a Howard Stern reference in that call. He told the reporter that he died choking on Howard Stern's ballsack.
Howard had Andrea on the phone so he asked her what was going on with that. Andrea said that she's happy when she's around people and she hasn't worked in a long time. She said that she just wants to come see them. Robin said she thought that she wanted to be on the rehab show. She said she needs that too.
Howard said that there are some rehab people who could put something together with the people from their show. Howard said that they have Joey Boots, Captain Janks, Artie, KC Armstrong and others who could go into rehab. Howard said they could call it ''Wack Pack Rehab House'' or something like that.
Howard said that it would be really easy to make that happen. They could have Jeff the Drunk in there as well and they could film the whole thing. Artie did his impression of Jeff going into rehab and demanding ribs.
Andrea said that she would love to do that. Artie said that he'd like to do something like that and do a ''Celebrity Pre-hab.''
Howard thanked Andrea for calling in and let her go a short time later. Howard said that she had her own show on Howard TV. He said that she was great in that and she'd probably be great in a rehab show too.
Howard said that he doesn't know if the woman was really doing that but it sounds like she could have been. Howard said that the monkey lived in the house with this woman and this friend of hers came over and waved a baby toy in front of it and it flipped out on her. Howard said he read that the woman may have given the chimp some Xanax and that could have made the chimp go crazy. That led to the chimp ripping the eyes out of her head and ripping her face off. Howard said that she happened to live but she's in a coma and they're not sure if they can give her a face graft or something.
Howard said that chimps really go nuts when they attack like that and they just rip your face off. Howard said that they say that this chimp was in some Old Navy commercials and it was kind of famous. Howard figured this happened in Kentucky or somewhere like that but it was actually in Connecticut. He said that kind of shocked him.
Howard said that they had a law up in this town that said you can't live with animals like that. He said that chimps belong in a zoo. The town had investigated her and found that the chimp was okay and let her keep it in the house.
Howard had some audio of the 911 call that was made during the chimpanzee attack and it was really wild. Howard said that the 911 call was really crazy and the operator had a hard time figuring out what was going on there.
Howard said that Jackie Martling was e-mailing him over vacation and he was upset that they weren't on the air telling chimp jokes about Gary. Gary came in and said that Jason and Sal were upset that they weren't around too because they wanted to hear the chimp jokes. Gary said they even ran a news story about that.
Howard played the 911 call that this woman had made while the chimp was attacking. The woman who owns the chimp made the call and she had already stabbed the thing a couple of times and it was still screaming in the background. Howard said the cops had to come and shoot it dead.
Gary said they only shot it because the chimp had cornered a cop in the car. In the 911 call the woman was saying that the chimp had killed her friend and they needed the cops to come. The 911 operator didn't know who had done the killing and asked why she needed the cops there. She said that her chimpanzee had killed her friend and ripped her apart. The woman asked them to come with guns to shoot the chimp.
Howard and Gary reenacted the call as Sal was hoping Gary would do. They were making the chimp noises and stuff like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's really upset about this monkey thing and wondered how they can prevent it in the future. Howard said that a chimp is not a human being and you can't treat it like one. He said that you can't have a 175 pound chimpanzee living in a house like a human. Artie said that he went to the rehab in Florida and there was a guy down there trying to buy up all of the land. He said that there was a woman down there who had a chimp and it looked normal down there. He said that this guy had a big back yard and she let this chimp run wild in her house.
Howard said that chimps that size have 6 times the strength of a human of the same size. The caller said that this is how it started in the Planet of the Apes movies. They started by domesticating the chimps and they eventually took over.
The caller wanted to know what Howard's parents would say about all of this. Howard said that he could call them but he knew how it would go. He went on to do his impressions of his parents talking about this stuff. He had his father not being able to hear him and his mother getting on and talking about how people shouldn't have pets like that living in the house.
Howard said he doesn't even need to call his parents, he knows what they would say. The caller asked Howard if his mother was a MILF. Howard said that she was a good looking woman and she was very beautiful as a younger woman. Howard said he doesn't think she was a MILF though.
Howard played a prank call the guys made using clips of him doing his mother's voice. In the call they had Howard asking this guy sex questions as Ray Stern. The guy was going along with it and pretending to be into her.
Howard said that the whole chimp story was very disturbing. He played more of the 911 call. The woman was saying that her friend was dead because the chimp had ripped her apart. She said that she was going to pass out but the operator told her to hang in there. The woman was freaking out asking them to please hurry. She wasn't able to breathe so the operator asked her to calm down. She was talking about how the chimp had ripped her friend apart. She pleaded with the operator to get the police there as soon as possible.
Howard said that this reminds him of when Sal and Richard were attacked by bees. He said that they had a 6 minute call to play but it might be too long to play. He played it anyway. It was a prank call they made to a pest removal company complaining about having bees in the house. The woman told them to get out of the house but they had people coming into the house and getting attacked by the bees. They had a Chinese food delivery guy and John the Stutterer getting attacked.
Howard had a guy on the phone who claimed that he had worked at the woman's house. The guy said he used to go up there to work on damage that the chimp would do at the house. He said that they used to have things thrown at them by the chimp when they'd be working there. Howard said that the animals get bored and you can't keep something like that in the house.
Howard said that the town could have done something about this because they knew about it. He said that the woman will probably get charged with something. Howard didn't know what they'd charge her with though. Artie said they may have to put her in an asylum or something.
Howard said he'd like to know how a chimpanzee surfs the internet. He said he may have had a Facebook page. Howard said he had some news saying that the chimp had been on HowardStern.com 5000 times.
Howard played more of the 911 call where the woman was yelling at the cops to shoot the chimp. She said that she was very afraid of what was going on. She told the operator to tell the police to shoot the chimp. She said she had tried stabbing him and it didn't work. She said she wasn't able to get out of her car and she was afraid that the chimp was going to come after her. She said he was going to rip the doors off the car.
Howard corrected the woman who was saying ''It don't matter'' a few times. He said that she should have been saying ''It doesn't matter.''
Howard asked Gary if it was true that the chimp was one of his cousins like Jackie said in his e-mail. Howard said he likes that he hadn't heard from Jackie in months and he had to e-mail him about this chimp story. Howard had to go to break a short time later. He said they have to play some commercials to make some money around there in light of what happened last week.
Pete said that if Howard had lost his parents earlier in his life, he wouldn't be the same guy. He was comparing him to Artie losing his father early in life. Artie said that you can't compare that.
Howard said that Pete is right about people being dealt different things in their life. He said that at the core, he's very organized and he knows how to handle his pain. Howard said that you can take a look at his life and see that he was born with a big Adam's apple and this face. Howard said that the doctor told his mother that he was ''happy like a mongoloid'' when he was born. Howard said that as he grew up his friends moved away and never called him. He said that he was raised in a black community and a lot of people would have been crushed by that alone.
Howard said that he's just telling his story though. Pete said that everything has gone perfectly for Howard. Howard said that he just made it that way. It didn't just happen. Howard said he's tremendously talented. Robin said that talented people have screwed up their lives, Howard hasn't. Artie said that Howard isn't happy like they think he is. Howard said that he is happy right now.
Howard said that his mother thought he was Jesus Christ and she was convinced that he was meant for greatness from the start.
Howard said that 99 percent of the stations that he was on have switched formats to music since he left. Howard said that they were trying other formats but they're all changing to music now. Howard said they changed KLSX to all music even in the mornings out there.
Melrose said it's awful. Howard said that they dynasty they created has all crumbled on terrestrial radio. Howard said that people think it's easy to get on the radio and just do this. It's a tough job and hard to do this day in and day out.
Howard said he thinks that Adam Carolla is going to call in and tell them what he thinks about all of this. He said that he thinks that all of their old stations are going to switch back to music eventually. All of them.
Howard said that David Hinckley wrote an article about this whole story and he doesn't seem to like him. He read the article that he wrote and David did mention him quickly in that.
Howard said that people have told him that he won't be recognized for what he's done until he's out of the business. Kind of like Jerry Lewis was.
Melrose said that he's a big fan of Lisa G's and she went to high school with him and he hates that people make fun of her. Howard let Melrose go after that.
Howard talked about the drama that was going on while they were away. Howard said that this company (SIRIUS XM) makes 2 billion a year in subscriptions. He said that they owe a lot of money still and the lending institutions aren't loaning out the kind of money they were. He said that led to the company coming close to having to file for bankruptcy. Howard said that they were looking to file for bankruptcy but even that would have just meant a reorganization. Howard said that doesn't mean that they would have gone out of business.
Howard said that they had this guy John Malone from Liberty Media come along and help them out by investing in the company. Howard said that the guy doesn't want to see it go under either so they're going to do what they can to keep it going.
Robin said that Malone must see a lot of potential there. Howard said that he bailed out the company and a lot of people were worried that they were going to lose their jobs. Howard said that it was a big sigh of relief to know that they were going to be okay.
Howard said that he thinks they're going to be good through the summer but Artie said that they should be okay through May. He said there's new debt owed in May.
Howard said that he's not sure what's going to happen right now but they're going to have to look at some of the channels they have there and the kind of money they're paying for them. He said that some people aren't bringing in the kind of subscribers that some others are. Howard said that Gayle King was going to call in and ask about what's going on. Howard said that he would have told her that he's not sure that they have any subscribers just coming in for Oprah's channel. Howard said he might be wrong about that but he doesn't thinks that they're bringing in that many. Howard said if he's wrong about that then he's sorry, but she's not going out and doing anything to help the situation.
Howard said that Oprah isn't promoting the service at all from what he's seen. Howard said that she should mention it once in a while at least.
Lisa said that she thinks that some people should be paying them to be on. She mentioned Oprah and Martha Stewart as two who should be doing that.
Howard said that he heard that Lisa wasn't able to masturbate during all of this controversy. Lisa said that she's still not doing it, she still needs a little time.
Lisa got to her news preview and talked about how Beth is writing a book about all you need to know about owning and having dogs. Howard said that she's doing a lot of research on that stuff but doesn't have a title yet. Howard said he's been giving her suggestions but they all have the word ''pussy'' in it. Howard said that she's not going to go with that.
Lisa said that Beth doesn't want to be on the cover. Howard said that's because she wants to do a serious book. He said that he's suggested that she appear on the cover but she really doesn't want that.
Howard said that he's met some guys who have gorgeous wives who were previously call girls or escorts. Artie said he knows of some famous chicks who were call girls at one time. Howard said that he knows guys who married these call girls. They're able to clear up their backgrounds and can keep that stuff a secret.
Howard asked Artie about what he was doing during the shooting of this TV show. Artie said it was a bunch of comedians and hot Playboy chicks playing poker. He said he sat next to Brande Roderick the whole time. He also got phone numbers from 3 Playboy chicks while he was there and he's pretty sure he'll be able to get one in June when he's out there again.
Artie said that Ralph was out there and Sam flew him out first class. He said that they were at The Palms hotel and they have a new tower there where you don't hear any of the casino sounds. He said that the place was gorgeous and Ralph had a suite just like he had.
Artie said that they were playing with Playboy girls and they all thought that they were going to be playing for charity. He said that at the end of the show they came up to Dave Attell and told him that he owed Sam a thousand dollars. Artie said that they all assumed they were going to be playing for charity and didn't know they were going to have to pay Sam.
Artie said that it gets even better. He said that he was playing with Dave the next day and he asked if he knew it wasn't for charity. Artie said that he didn't know that. He said that they were told that Sam would loan them more money if they wanted it. He said if they lost more than they gained then they'd owe it to Sam.
Howard wondered why they would want to go on that show if that's the way things were going to go. Artie said that Sam did something on the show they shot and asked Dave Attell to pay him on the air. Dave didn't know that they were going to do that on the air.
Artie said that something rubbed him kind of the wrong way. He said that they were shooting this show and trying to be funny. He said that the funny fell on him so he was making jokes during the game and tried to be entertaining but no one else was. He said he was losing money to Sam and Norm who were being serious the whole time.
Artie said that he and Attell were in a game with a Playmate and 3 professional poker players. Howard asked if Brande Roderick was playing with her own money too. Artie said that they gave them 500 to start off with so that's what she played with. Artie said he put in his own money and he was up by $11,000 in the first round.
Artie said they took a break after that round and he started to gamble out on the floor. He said they asked him to come back down for the second round and he won some more hands. Artie said that he can kind of tell when Norm MacDonald has a good hand. He said that he knew Norm had nothing in this one hand and they were both throwing in a lot of money. Then Norm ends up with a flush. Artie said that they were trying to be funny and he ended up losing the whole 11 grand. He ended up down by 8 for the night.
Artie said that the funny part was when this producer came up to him to let him know how much he owed to Sam Simon. Artie said that he lost to this guy who created The Simpsons and he really didn't want to pay. The guy told him that they did the math and figured out that Artie owed Sam $8,010 and they knocked it down to $8,000. Artie said he left the table and he owed Sam 8 grand. He said that Sam thanked him for coming and he was kind of pissed that he went out there to do this show and ended up owing the guy 8 grand.
Artie said that Sam thanked him and then he asked Sam where he wanted him to send the 8 grand. Sam told him to just mail him a check.
Artie said he wanted to know if Ralph lost money, does he owe it to Sam too? He said if he doesn't then he'll be really pissed.
Dominic Barbara called in and asked about the money issue because it's illegal to borrow money like that from an individual. Artie said that it was through the casino. He said they were all doing it for the show. Dominic said that it didn't sound legal to him. Howard said that he's sure they've looked into this and they're not doing anything illegal.
Howard said that maybe Sam borrowed the money from the casino and Artie is paying Sam back. He said he's not sure about that but maybe that's what's going on.
Artie said that maybe the money is going to charity, he's not sure. He said that Sam is very generous so maybe that's what happened.
Howard asked Artie if he really didn't drink out there. Artie said he didn't do anything like that out there. He said that after the game they went up to this Playboy suite at the Palms and it was incredible. They have a pool that juts out into the sky on the balcony. He said that it was loaded with Playboy Playmates. Howard wondered how they afford that because they're not doing to well right now. Artie said he's not sure about that.
Artie said that Sam and Ralph do a bit in the beginning of the show and he's not sure how that all came about. He said that maybe that's how he got Ralph out there.
Artie said that he, Jeff Ross and Ralph were watching the girls in the pool just swimming around and throwing the beach ball around. They were shooting some B-roll out there.
Artie said that they were talking to the girls and it was like 4 in the morning. He said he had to be out of there by 6:55am to fly home. Artie said that he was kind of horny from being around the broads. Artie said that they had to stay there to shoot this thing so he just called up the used-to-be-a-hooker chick. Artie said that he used to have to pay her but not anymore.
Artie said he called the girl up instead of just jerking off. He said that she showed up and did her thing. He said that Dan the Song Parody Man has met her and she looks like a young Nicole Eggert.
Howard asked how long it took to start fuckin'. Artie said that it was pretty quick. Fred played a clip of Tracy Morgan making some gurgling sounds. That led to Howard talking about how Tracy's fish tank caught fire in his apartment and the whole building caught fire or something.
Artie said that he called up this producer chick and told her what was going on with this chick. He changed his flight out of there so he could just hang out with the broad. Artie said that he spent like 10 hours with the chick and probably banged 4 times. He said he got it for free other than the champagne that he didn't touch.
Artie said that he could never marry a chick like that. He said that he wears a condom with her except when he's getting a blowie. He said that he doesn't kiss the broad either. Then he changed his story and said that he does kiss her because he does know her.
Howard asked Artie to show him the picture of her again. Artie said that he will never have her out to Jersey to visit him either. He said that he might have her down to his shore house though. He said it probably won't happen though.
Howard said it sounds like Artie is falling for this girl but he's worried about what society will think. Artie said that there are a lot of issues with her. He said he's not worried about what society will think.
Artie said that in regular gambling he won $12,000 so he's actually up by a little over 6 grand. He said that he did okay.
Howard asked Artie who else lost in those games. Artie said he's really not sure who lost. He said that Jennifer Tilly was down by a few grand.
Howard said that he had to take a break because Angie Everhart was there. He said he doesn't know what the hell she's doing. He said he has to talk to her about a lot of stuff including this pregnancy.
Howard said that Eminem has some career. He's back at the top of the charts even after not putting an album out in the past few years. Howard said that 50 Cent is coming in later this week and so is Rosie O'Donnell. They're also going to be playing ''Who Wants a Threesome.''
Howard had Angie Everhart come in after that. Howard said that he had to take a look at her as she was coming in. Robin said that she was showing a little bit with her pregnancy. Angie had some trouble with her headphones and was out of breath a little bit. She said that she was excited to see him.
Howard said he wanted to speak frankly with her about some stuff. Howard said he's heard some things lately that are disturbing. Howard said she's one of the most beautiful women in the world. She thanked him for that and claimed she didn't really know that. Howard said that she could get any man she wants because she's so hot.
Robin asked Angie if she has a dad. She said that her parents are great. She said that might be the reason she's not married. She said that she doesn't want to get divorced again and wants to wait until she's madly in love. She said that this pregnancy happened unexpectedly and it's not unwanted to she's keeping it. She said that she's 39 years old and she doesn't have a lot of eggs left.
Howard said that he read that the father of this child is the guy who was roughing her up. Angie didn't want to talk about that. She asked him to move along and get off of that subject. She threatened to leave. She said that she would leave if she had to.
Howard asked her why she didn't call him to discuss it with him. She said that she's fine with it all and the baby is coming at the end of July. She said that she will raise it out in L.A. where she lives now. Howard asked if it's really the right time. She said that it's fine and she's not sure if she would even have the chance again to do it.
Angie said that this is scary and this is just the way her life is so she's going along with it. Angie said that she gave herself a pregnancy test and peed on that stick. She said that she was kind of saying ''Oh shit'' when she saw that it was positive.
Howard asked Angie if it's frightening with her body changing. She said that her breasts have gone to a Double D now. She had to buy new bras and she can't go braless. She said that everything has changed and she hasn't even had sex since she got pregnant. Angie said she doesn't know if sex is better while she's pregnant or not since she hasn't done it.
Howard said she must have a plan for getting back into shape. She said she feels fat already and she won't stay big for long. She said that she's 4 months along now. Angie said that she's fine not being married and she won't have a problem finding someone who wants to date her.
Howard said that he doesn't like the thought of a pregnant Angie. Angie said that he didn't even like her dating other guys. Howard said that Angie asked him to introduce her to Mike Piazza but he told her that he didn't know her. Angie said that he was on the show a few times. Howard said he wasn't interested in her having sex with other guys (they dated for a short time) so he didn't want to help her find someone.
Howard asked if the father of the baby is going to help pay for it. Angie said that he's very nice and he will be helping out. She said it's nothing like he's heard about the whole thing. Howard asked her why she isn't marrying him. She said that she doesn't think it would end right if they did marry. She said they did discuss it but it wouldn't work out. She said they're better friends than lovers.
Howard said it must be weird to be pregnant with the guy's baby and not be lovers. She said that he will be present in the baby's life. She said that he's had a kid before so he knows what that's all about.
Howard asked if the guy will be in the room when she gives birth. Howard said that he would help out if she wanted him to.
Howard asked Angie if she would name her baby ''Howard'' if it's a boy. She said she wouldn't do that. She said that it actually is a boy. Howard said he thinks that she should name it Howard. Angie said that she's got a lot of people telling her to name the baby after them. She finds that a little bizarre. Howard said he really thinks that it should be Howard. Angie said that Howard carries that name very well but others may not.
Howard said that maybe Howard as a middle name would be good. Angie said she has a long time to think about it. Howard said that maybe it could be Seymour Stern and she doesn't even need to use the ''Everhart'' name.
Angie said that she designed a bathing suit line and she was supposed to model them but she had to hire some models to do that since she's pregnant. She said that her boobs are huge already and she's got another 5 months to go.
Howard asked Angie if she keeps herself shaved down there while she's pregnant. Angie said of course she does. She said that it's all perfectly groomed down here. She said that she likes to feel good down there so that's why she does it.
Howard said he was blown away by all of this. He said he was shocked when he read that she was dating Joe Pesci. She said that he's the greatest guy. She said that he's like 6 feet tall personality wise. She said that he might be a little bit older than she would have liked. Angie said that he probably would have liked to have had kids. She said that they were never engaged though. That was all just rumor in the tabloids.
Angie said that things were fine with her and Joe. She said that the height thing was only a problem in pictures. Artie said that Pesci is a cool guy. Howard agreed and said that he just found it odd. He asked Angie if she ever carried him into bed or anything. Angie said that he's Italian, she would never do that.
Howard said he went on and looked at pictures of the two of them together and he knew it would never last. Angie said that Joe can make her laugh and that's what she likes. She said that she's not out to get celebrities, they were just playing golf a lot and it just happened.
Howard asked if Joe was better than him sexually. Angie said that no one is better than Howard. That's until she starts dating someone else.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Angie when she's going to tell Howard that she actually stole a condom of his and had herself impregnated. She just laughed. Howard asked her about the bra and panties she was wearing. She said that they were matching today.
Howard asked Angie if she has money socked away to support this kid. She said that she's all good. Artie said she has Lingerie Bowl money. Angie laughed at that. Howard asked Angie if she was okay, she looked upset today. Angie said she was fine but then pretended to cry.
Howard asked Angie about this TV show she did where she climbs Mount Kilimanjaro (Conquering Kilimanjaro). She said that she did the climb and they made a TV show out of it. Howard said that he doesn't think their relationship would have lasted based on all of this crazy stuff she does. She likes skydiving as well. Robin told Angie about the skydiver who had their instructor die as they were doing a tandem jump. They spent a short time talking about that craziness.
Howard said that Angie went and climbed this mountain and shot this TV show. Angie said that the people who are climbing it now are going to be the last to see the snow up there. It's slowly melting away and eventually there won't be any snow at all up there.
Howard said that they must have loved to see this red haired goddess up there. Angie said that they did love her. Howard asked her about how they treated her. She said that she went there with her brother and his wife and the camera crew. They had 42 porters to help out with the gear. Angie told Howard what that was like and how she doesn't think that any of the guys were hitting on her or anything during the trip. She said it wasn't like that at all. Howard said she has no awareness of her own powers. Angie said that it's very hard to even breathe up there. She said that it was the hardest thing she's ever done.
Angie said that this show is going to be on HDNet tomorrow night. Howard didn't even know what that was. Angie said that Mark Cuban owns the network.
Howard took a call from Joe Pesci but it was actually just clips of him from one of his movies. They had Joe yelling at Howard talking to Angie like that.
Howard asked Angie how long it took her to do this. She said that they took 8 days to get up there. They lost their cameraman one day because he got sick going up that high. She said that people die going up there and it's very dangerous. She said that you can die very quickly up there.
Robin asked Angie if she thought she should have been invited to Howard's wedding. Angie said she didn't expect to be invited. She said that inviting ex's isn't a good move anyway. Howard said it would have been like torture for Angie. He said that he was the love of her life. She said that she always says that he was the one that got away. Howard said that she moved away, he wasn't the one who left.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that it's absurd how much Howard doesn't like doing and he and Angie never would have lasted. Howard and Angie said that they had a lot of fun together. They found interests that they both enjoyed. Howard said he wouldn't have gone to climb that Kilimanjaro with her.
Another caller asked Howard to describe Angie's breasts. Howard said she was wearing a vest over her breasts but he did see a little bit and they did look massive. He said that they must look beautiful extra large like that.
Howard asked Angie when she thinks she will be producing milk. Angie said that they told her that a few days after the baby is born it should start. Howard said that it starts with some pre-milk stuff so she's actually right about that.
Howard said that he and Beth had a beautiful week together not climbing anything and just staring at each other and the wall. Howard said that in the time he was with Angie she was always running off to vacation in places like Bali. He said he would never go there. Angie said that Howard told her that he was going to travel after he retired. Howard said he just told her that to get laid.
Howard said that he will watch this special that Angie is in. He asked her what she's wearing in the show. She said that she wore winter coats. They do start off with t-shirts and pants. Angie said she didn't show much cleavage or short shorts. She did wear some tank tops though.
Howard said that they get to see the natives freaking out over her. Angie said that they were singing to her a lot. Artie said they were probably singing ''I want to fuck you... I want a hand job...'' He sang some of those songs and goofed on her about that.
Howard asked Angie about this idea of doing a reality show about her pregnancy. She said that she went into a meeting and they asked her what she'd be up for. She said they actually asked her about having a child. She said that they want to do this show now and they're going out and pitching the show to the networks. She said that they won't go through the actual birth since she has to have a C-section but she will be going through the rest of the stuff about her going through the pregnancy.
Artie sang some more songs for Angie and she ended up telling him that he really was a foul man. Artie blamed Benjy for writing the lines for him.
Howard wondered what's next for Angie, going to the moon? Artie said that they should send all chicks who turn 40 to the moon. Angie said that's because Artie can't get any. Howard said that Artie actually got laid this weekend. Angie ended up giving him the finger at one point. Robin said that was a very long finger that she gave too. Howard gave her some more plugs and let Angie go a short time later.
Howard came back and said he was reading a story about a guy who went out and rented a car so he could avoid his personal car that had a built in Breathalyzer. Howard said he couldn't believe what he was reading. Howard said the guy was 27 and ended up crashing the car he rented when he went out drunk driving. Howard said that guy broke both legs and his pelvis in the crash. Howard said that guy is really committed to DWI.
Howard mentioned that they have Jim Florentine and Dr. Drew coming in soon. Artie said he was offered $250,000 to do Celebrity Rehab but that's not enough money. Artie said that he loves that he can turn down that kind of money. He said that was his dream.
Artie said that he thinks Dr. Drew is putting his name out there trying to take advantage of that to get some publicity for that show.
Howard said he read that Andy Dick was offered half a million to do the first season of Celebrity Rehab but he turned it down. Artie said that he is on Sober House now so maybe he held out for more. Howard told Artie to hold out for it too. JD said that Andy Dick held out but he didn't get what he thought he was going to get.
Richard said that the woman brought her husband to meet Richard and the guy had no idea what was going on. This was his Valentine's Day gift. Richard said the guy wasn't so excited at first and thought that they were going to be doing a threesome or something. Richard said the guy eventually got excited when he found out they were going to be drumming together.
Richard said the guy is a really good drummer and they had a lot of fun doing the drumming thing. Richard said that they had two nice drum sets set up and they went nuts for like 6 hours.
Howard had some audio of the two of them drumming together. Richard said that went on for 6 full hours. Richard told Howard that he was drumming in the beginning the guy was the second drummer. He said the guy was really good and he's in a band out there in Phoenix.
Richard said that they just went back and forth like that for the whole time. Richard said that he had blisters on his hand after doing that for so long. Richard said they went out to their romantic dinner with them. Richard said that the guy doesn't know the Stern Show so he didn't know that he was into licking balls and stuff.
Richard said that the guy's girlfriend told him that he was licking balls and he looked at him like he was nuts. Howard asked Richard if he showered before dinner. Richard said he showered and even brushed his teeth at their house.
Howard said that Richard was sitting next to a person on the plane that had a cat with them. Richard said that he was in the very back row of the flight and he was all alone until this woman ran on at the last second with this duffel bag with a cat in it. He had some audio of the cat meowing on the flight and he said it went on for the full 5 hours. Richard said that he had headphones on so it wasn't too bad for him but everyone around them was staring at them.
Richard said the woman got on the phone and told her friend that the cat had met a new friend who wasn't an asshole like so many other people on flights that she's on.
Howard played some audio of a guy in a porno and moaning really loud. Richard said that was sent in by a fan. He said the guy may have been in pain because his cock did look like it was a strange color.
Steve said that Captain Janks is now wanted by the state police in New Jersey. They're waiting for him to turn himself in. They're also looking at filing charges on him in Pennsylvania. Steve said that they don't know if any of what Janks has been saying is true or not.
Artie said that Janks should turn himself in and cop a plea. He said that he thinks that it's crazy the amount that he said he was taking. Artie said that Janks is a small guy and he was claiming that he was taking 400 mg of that stuff. Artie said that if Howard was given some he'd probably take like 5mg and he'd probably feel weird.
Steve said that High Pitch Eric is also in trouble and he's been begging for money from some people who were helping him sell his used underwear.
Steve said that Adam Carolla has been picked up by CBS to do a pilot. They also have a story about an actor from Beer League getting into some trouble after allegedly punching a customer of his bar. Steve got in some plugs for the State of Bubba Address that will be on tonight at 7pm on Howard 101.
Howard had Jon Hein come in next with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran through the list of things that they were going to try and cover today.
Howard had some audio of a baseball player Miguel Tejada at a press conference talking about lying during some testimony he gave in front of congress. that led to Artie telling some stories about A-Rod and Andrew Petit talking about that stuff as well. Howard played more of the audio of Tejada talking about lying and the reasons he had for doing it. He apologized for doing it of course. Then he broke down crying. Howard said that this is all a bunch of hypocrisy and talked about seeing a letter Joe Rogan wrote to some company about taking Michael Phelps off of their advertising campaign. He said that he pointed out that everyone knows that people smoke weed and stuff like that. The guys spent a few minutes going over that stuff and arguing about what the MLB could do about it.
Howard played some more of the Tejada clip and said it sounded like Ham Hands Bill. He played some of Bill's material when he was talking as Robin's father. They did sound very similar.
Robin got into her news and read some stuff about the Academy Awards that were on last night. She had some audio clips from the show that she had Howard playing. She had some audio of Kate Winslet accepting an award. She also had some audio of the director of ''Slumdog Millionaire'' accepting an award. He apologized for forgetting the name of someone in the credits in the movie. He apologized for that in the acceptance speech.
Robin said that they were replaying the Mia Farrow interview while they were on vacation and she was reminded about the awful things he did. That led to Robin having Howard play Penelope Cruz's award win and her acceptance speech for being in Woody Allen's ''Vicky Christina Barcelona.'' Howard said he didn't think she was that good in the movie. Howard said that he thought that Marissa Tomei didn't really deserve it either. He said that it should have been Meryl Streep.
Robin read about Sean Penn winning an Oscar for ''Milk.'' She had Howard play a clip of the God Hates Fags people protesting that movie. Sean Penn referred to them in his speech and told them to find their better selves and turn in their hate cards.
They played some audio of one guy saying ''Sank you'' over and over again when he was making his speech. They also had some other clips from various performances and acceptance speeches.
Robin read a story about the God Hates Fags people who were protesting the flight that crashed up in Buffalo, New York. Robin said that they only lasted a few minutes outside of a funeral they were protesting. They had some counter demonstrators coming up against them and the cops had to keep them separated.
Robin said that some police photographs were released of Rihanna after her run in with Chris Brown. They were sold to TMZ and now her father is saying that they make them look better than they actually were. Howard said he read that she's thinking about getting back together with this guy. Howard said that she'd be a great role model if she didn't go back to him and filed charges against him. They spent a few minutes talking about that story.
Robin read some news about Conan O'Brien's last show being last Friday. She said that he's moving to the Tonight Show on March 2nd. Howard said that NBC is nuts for letting Leno go like that. He said the whole thing is dumb. Howard said that Conan is a good guy but he gets beaten by that Craig Ferguson guy regularly. Howard said that he hopes that David Letterman beats Conan because it'll be an embarrassment if he doesn't. Howard said it's time to step up the game and get competitive.
Howard said the next thing you know Dave will be showing up on Conan's show and Conan will show up on Dave's show. He said they need to fight this out so someone can win.
Robin had Howard playing some audio of Conan's final show where he was talking about how much of an inspiration David Letterman was to him. Conan also had Andy Richter as a guest on his final show. Howard said that this is the biggest bonehead move in history from what he can see. Robin mentioned that Jimmy Fallon will be replacing Conan and wondered if he can beat Craig Ferguson. Artie said that Conan did fine in that slot, he lasted for 16 years. Howard said that NBC must be nuts for letting Conan take over for Jay Leno if he wasn't beating Craig Ferguson. Howard said that he doesn't understand what's going on. He said that Dave had better beat Conan.
Howard said that Jimmy Kimmel is the luckiest one because he's on at midnight and he doesn't have to go up against these other shows. He said that Jimmy should be fine over there at ABC and he should just sit back and take the money as long as he can.
Robin read some news about the Octomom's baby's father and how they may have found him. Howard mentioned a quick story about an 11 year old who shot his father and step-mother. Howard said that the parents gave the kid the gun. He said that the kid came home and shot the girlfriend of his father. Then he went to school. Howard said that the kid is clearly psycho but he wonders why anyone would give an 11 year old a gun.
Howard asked Robin if she had anything else to get to. She had a couple more stories. Robin said that she was going to go to Egypt this summer but then she read something in the news that may have changed her mind. Howard said that she will never make it to see the pyramids. Artie said he was thinking that he'd like to see them too. Robin read that there was a bomb attack in Cairo, Egypt. She said that a bunch of people were killed in that blast. Howard said he bets she won't find a bottle of $800 wine out there. Howard said he had forgotten about that wine until he got his credit card bill last week. He was paying it over the weekend and wondered why the bill was $8,000.
Robin read a story about a dying woman in England who is going to have her own reality show. There was also a story about Ruth Guinsberg dying of cancer. They're saying that she could be dead in 9 months. Robin went through a couple more stories and wrapped up a short time later. They ended the show around 10:35am.
Jon said that Mariann from Brooklyn pointed out that Angie was always going out and things wouldn't have lasted. Gary said that Howard did mention that he and Beth didn't go doing anything crazy like jumping out of planes and stuff.
Gary said that Angie did seem to warm up to talking about some stuff as the interview went on even though it didn't look like she was into it at first.
Jon said that Robin brought up how Angie will be raising the baby by herself. He had some audio from that part of the interview that he had Teddy play.
After that clip Jon and Gary talked about how Angie said that she was going to lose the weight as soon as the baby is born. Gary said that some women have more motivation to lose weight than others do. Angie is one of them.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up some of the stuff Howard was talking about with Angie and how some of her responses were kind of strange. Gary said that there were a couple of strange things in there between the two of them.
Gary said that Jason was also stuck in that time zone. He said that Jason has been listening to the show for a long time too but they've moved past some of that stuff.
Gary said that people tell him all the time that they don't do bits anymore but they do sound kind of old if you listen to them now. He said that they perceive them as being great times on the show but they've changed since then.
Gary said that he ate fake shit out of a diaper on the show one time. He said he's a pretty good sport about that kind of thing. He doesn't mind when Jackie makes fun of him.
Another caller asked about them talking about baseball and maybe doing a sports show at night one day. Gary said that they have Scott Ferrall there to do that. They don't need to be doing a sports show there. The caller said he enjoys hearing them talking about that stuff. Gary said that would be weird to compete against a sports guy on the same channels. Jon and Gary said that maybe they can fill in for Ferrall when he's on vacation some time.
The guys ended up asking Benjy what he did on vacation. Benjy said he was out with a chick that he's known for a while now. Benjy told them about what they were doing.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they were off for a week and they've been spending too much time talking about some of the stuff that they missed. The guy said that they shouldn't be talking about the baseball stuff so much. Gary said they do that all the time and fans want to hear Howard's take on some of that stuff.
Another caller brought up the baseball discussion and went off on Gary for something he had said during that. Gary denied saying what the caller accused him of. They went back and forth on that for a few minutes.
Jon said he believes Artie. He said that he was gambling so it's easy to not think about drinking. Jon said that he always believes Artie though. Benjy said he believes Artie too.
The guys also talked about Ralph going out to play poker with Sam Simon and all of that. Jon took a call from another guy who said that pisses him off that Ralph gets invited to do stuff like that. Gary said that it really doesn't bother him. He said that it pisses him off when he gets invited to fights in other countries and isn't giving back to the guy who invites him to that stuff, Sam Simon. Gary said that Ralph may be able to help out with the poker game because it's being shot as a TV show and he can help promote it on the Stern Show.
The caller said that he's seen Ralph's roast and he's shown what an arrogant asshole he is. The caller said that he has no right to be arrogant. He said that Ralph is just ''fuckin' Ralph'' and he doesn't get it.
Another caller said that he wanted to pick up on what the other caller left off on earlier. He said that there are so many stories that they don't pick up on when they go on vacation. He said that they never show up on a Friday to cover some stories that happen on a Thursday. Gary said that they can't just come back in and do a show on Friday just so they can talk about a monkey story.
The caller was going off on them for not being there that much this year so far. He said it's ridiculous. Gary said that everyone knows when they're off and it's not some big secret. Gary said that they don't announce that kind of stuff when the TV shows go on vacation. The guy said they don't but that pisses him off too. The caller said that people don't have that passion for those shows like they do for the radio show.
The caller asked if it would kill them to come in and do a Friday show. The guy said that the absence is so much and it does tie into what Artie has done on the show when he complains about how hard the schedule is. Gary said that this guy is talking about two different issues now. Gary said that they get a certain amount of time to take off and they can't make everyone happy by playing stuff that one person requests. Gary said that they have 120 other channels there that are fucking amazing and they could tune into those too.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he enjoyed the replays last week. He said that he would like to hear more of their take on some of the behind the scenes stuff though. The caller was also asking if Artie thought that if he had won in that poker game, was he going to have to donate his winnings to charity. The guy said that he wondered if Sam Simon was going to take that money from him as well. The guys weren't clear on how the whole thing was set up.
Ralph said that place was really fun. He said that he was out there having the best time and he wondered how Gary was ever bored out there. Gary said he had a little shitty room there, not the suite that Ralph did.
Ralph said that he was out there to play cards. Sam invited him to play and that was it. Ralph said that he lost some money out there so Gary asked him if he had to pay Sam. Ralph said that he had to say that it was never going to be for charity so he's not sure how that even came up.
Ralph said that he lost a little bit there but then won some Blackjack and came out ahead in the end. Ralph said that he was given $500 to play and then he had to buy back in if he wanted to play more. Ralph said that he couldn't really play because he couldn't afford it.
Ralph said that Jennifer Tilly was playing and so were some other big poker players. Gary asked Ralph what else he did out there. Ralph said it went by pretty fast so he's not even sure. He said he went to the spa there for a few hours.
Gary asked Ralph if he had to pay for his incidentals. Ralph said that he did have to pay for his incidentals and extra things too. He was goofing on something that Gary had said one time many years ago. Ralph said that he had a per diem there too. Gary couldn't believe that.
Gary said that this stuff is really annoying to hear. He said that no one wants to hear about a guy getting paid to do that kind of stuff. Gary said that's the way the audience views him.
The guys ended up talking about the Academy Awards that were on last night. Ralph said that he rushed home to see that show and it was a huge mistake. He said that it was so faggy that he had to tune out and watch other stuff. The guys all agreed that he show was awful. The guys spent a few more minutes talking about that and then had to go to break.
Jon asked Gary what's up with Richard flying out to drum with some guy on Valentine's day. Gary said that he was paid to do that. He said that he turned down a lot of gigs like that over the years. Gary said that he did one appearance where he was invited up to Buffalo to go to a roast for a hockey player. Gary said that he had a great time doing it but it's very strange to go to someone's house like that.
Gary asked Richard if he told anyone where he was going to be. Richard said he didn't really tell anyone, he could kind of tell that they were legit so he wasn't worried. He said he was kind of nervous but they turned out to be really nice people and the guy seemed to like getting him as a Valentine's day gift.
Gary asked Richard if he turns down anything. Richard said that he'll do just about anything for the right amount of money. He said he'd even clean someone's garage if they paid him.
Richard said that he had to fly out to Phoenix and didn't drink quite as much as usual. He said that he didn't want to be a mess anymore so he'd cut back on that stuff.
Gary said that Richard flew out somewhere one time and ended up getting so drunk that they had to put him in a wheelchair to get him off the plane.
Richard said that he was feeling the pain after drumming for so many hours because he's not used to that these days. He said that he used to practice for 3-4 hours a day in the past.
Richard said the guy he was drumming with didn't know him from the show but he does know him from the band he was in called Iced Earth. He said they went to dinner after that and it was a really nice place.
Gary asked Richard if he ever thought about bringing his girlfriend out there with him. Richard said she had to work and he couldn't really afford to fly her out there. Richard said that she had to work that following Monday and he didn't so it just didn't make sense.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if he could get an internship there and he's graduating in May. Gary told him that he can't give him an internship if he's already graduated. The guy wasn't aware of that.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Richard what he would charge to do some stuff. Richard said that he would charge about a grand to do some things like giving drum lessons or bathing a man. Richard said that he'd be a good bather too. He said it can't be that hard to do that.
Sam said that the way they were playing wasn't that complicated. Gary said that Artie wasn't sure about it and it seemed complicated to him.
Sam said that most of the people that were there are people who come in and play at his house. He said they threw in the Playboy models too and he wouldn't turn them down. Sam said that he and Ralph play poker every night when he hangs out with him. Sam said that of course Ralph was going to get a ticket and the room like any other person who is going to be on that show.
Sam said that they had some good hands in the games they were playing. He said that it's more about the table talk and stuff like that. Sam said that it wasn't clear if Artie really knew how to play poker based on the way he was playing there. He said he's never played a game against Artie before and he thinks that he may not know as much as he claims to. Sam said he's not a professional poker player himself, he's just a recreational player.
Sam said that he's pretty good but now a professional. Jon thanked him for calling in and let him go a short time later.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he heard that bee bit that Sal and Richard did with the bees and he thought it was very funny. The caller said it was pure genius. Richard said that he got the ''Norma Stitz'' name from a porn star that he had heard of many years ago.
Another caller said that Sam and Ralph have similar ways of talking and it wasn't clear who was doing an impression of the other. The guys were saying that they didn't know which one was doing the impression.
Jon asked Gary about the Captain Janks thing that they discussed this morning. Gary said that he had heard from one of Janks' friends about him going into rehab and he wasn't sure if it was a real story or not so he just has to take him at his word. Benjy said that he thinks that it's unethical of Janks to do what he's been accused of doing but he'd like to find out if he really went to rehab.
Gary said that Janks was acting very agitated about a month ago when he spoke to him. He said that he had a thought that he might have been on something back then.
The guys were talking about the addiction thing with some of the Wack Packers on the show. That led to them talking about some TV shows where they have people with addiction problems.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she wanted to ask Gary about when Jim Florentine is going to be in. Gary said he thinks it's the first week of March. He said they're looking forward to that. Richard said he's excited too because Jim met the manager for Stryper and he's bringing him two Striper t-shirts.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked who is the most unlike their on-air personality there. Gary said that Robin is about the same on and off the air. Gary said that Fred is funny on the air but a little more shy off the air. Richard said he talks a lot more off the air.
Gary said he's pretty much the same either way. He said that Artie is pretty much the same. Gary said that Benjy is pretty wacky on the air but not quite as much off the air. The caller asked about Sal. Gary said that what you see is what you get.
Richard said that Yucko the Clown is really different off the air when he takes that mask off. Benjy said that Doug Goodstein is very timid on the air and he's not like that off the air.
Benjy said he would like to know what Langford is like off the air. Jon said that would be interesting to know what he's really like.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked about the bail out that Liberty Media did with SIRIUS XM last week. Gary said that they're hoping to bounce back and keep it going. Gary said he was afraid that they were going to have all new bosses the next morning after the threat of the buy out. Jon said that he was out of the country and a guy knew what was going on and told him about it. He said that he was kind of relieved. They had to end the show after that.
Howard started off the show saying that Robin was parting her hair differently again. Robin said she wanted to give it another try. Howard said he had to get used to it. He said she didn't like it the last time. Robin said that it falls into her eyes when she does it the other way. Howard said it seems to show off her sparkling eyes. He said he might light it that way.
Artie said that he had the guy who took over for what Teddy does for him up there the other day and he was saying that Robin looks great. Artie said that this guy Sully really likes her. Howard had met Sully before so he knew who Artie was talking about. They spent a short time talking about him.
Howard asked Robin if she's lost more weight. Robin said that she has lost a few. She's still looking to lose another 12 pounds or so. Robin said she's in no rush to lose it. She said she'll see where she is when she loses that. Howard said that 12 might just be the right amount. He said she looks good.
Howard asked Robin how she looks naked. Robin said she has to see when she gets that 12 off. She said she could use some tweaking. Howard asked her how long she's been stuck at the 12. Robin said she's not suck and she had just lost 10 over the holidays.
Howard asked when she's going to lose the 12. She said she just started exercising again so now it should come off. She said she was fasting so she wasn't able to work out. Howard said he can't wait to see the 12 come off. He said he might take her out shopping.
Artie said that he has to take Lisa G out to Barney's shopping so maybe they should all going. Howard said he wants to pick out Robin's outfits when they go shopping. He wants to get her some great outfits that he likes, not this stuff she's wearing that covers her up.
Robin said she was out in Phoenix and some young girls who looked like cattle walked by and one was wearing hot pants. She said that she looked like 200 pounds and stuffed that into hot pants. Artie said that out in the mid-west they have either smoking hot chicks ore really fat chicks.
Howard read Eric's letter where he complained about Artie wasting time on the air. Eric was trying to call in and tell them that it's their fault that Johnny Fratto won't talk to him. He said that he knows that they're behind it. The whole family is ducking his calls now. He went on and on about his parents not letting him go to the Bunny Ranch and blaming that on them as well.
Howard said that the letter goes on and on. Robin said that she was enjoying that. Howard read more of the letter and Eric was complaining about the ticket sales for his appearance and how he's only sold six tickets. He blamed that on Howard as well. Eric was also blaming Howard for some people not talking to him.
Howard said that Eric is such a fucking nut. Eric said he's not. Howard said he has nothing to do with anything he does. They just speak to him on the phone once in a while. Howard said they never speak to Johnny and he must just be fed up with all of the turmoil. Artie told Eric that the reason people don't call him back is because he's an asshole. Eric told Artie that he's a fat asshole too.
Howard asked Eric to make a statement. Eric said that the meet and greet is going to go off the way it was supposed to and he has sold 8 tickets so far. Howard asked him how he thinks he sabotaged the whole thing. Eric said that they're portraying him in a negative way, that's how. Howard said that if he didn't portray him in any way he wouldn't have anything.
Robin said that Eric is portraying himself as an ungrateful asshole himself. Howard said that he introduced Eric to the Bunny Ranch chicks, the American Idol chick and more. Eric said that he had met her before so that was no big deal. Howard said he gave Eric life and he treats him like crap. Howard said that's why people think Eric is ungrateful.
Howard said that he has nothing to do with Johnny Fratto and Eric's relationship. He's the whole reason that they met in the first place. Howard said that it's a major character flaw in Eric that he can't take responsibility for this stuff going wrong. Eric said that he's sure that he has nothing to do with that and it's all their fault that Johnny isn't talking to him.
Eric thinks that Johnny is tired of the way they talk to him about the masturbating and things like that. Eric said that Johnny told him that a couple of weeks ago. Howard said that's ridiculous and Johnny would talk to him and stop listening to the show if that was the case. Howard said that what he said made no sense and asked Eric if he really believes that. Artie told him he sounds psychotic.
Howard told Eric that the only reason they let him go to the Bunny Ranch in the first place is because of the show. Eric said that he also blames them for the picture that they publicized that his parents found out about. Howard said that Eric posted that picture on the Bunny Ranch web site! Eric was pissed that they didn't use some discretion about posting it. Howard said that he has nothing to do with that picture. He said that Eric showed no discretion and he's blaming them for not having any. Howard told Eric not to do that stuff if he doesn't want anyone finding out about it.
Howard said he can't blame him for his problems when he's the problem. Eric said he's not the problem. Howard said that Eric put that picture up and now he's blaming him for talking about it. Eric said that he didn't put that picture on the web. Howard said that he took the picture.
Howard said that he'll never find a picture of him on the internet. He asked Eric why that would be. Eric said that's because he doesn't want to. Eric said that he doesn't pose for them either. Robin said ''Oh please...'' Artie told Eric that when he's in the room with hookers, no cameras!
Eric said that he has his store up at www.etm.me. He got that plug in as they were bashing Eric.
Eric said that most people that go up on stage at his shows get cheered. He said that when Eric showed up at his gig in front of 3,000 people they all booed him. He said that none of the other Wack Packers get booed like Eric does. Artie said that it was amazing that they all booed him at the same time and the guy is in a wheelchair.
Howard said that Eric sounds crazy and asked him if he can see that. Eric said that he doesn't see that at all. Howard told Eric that he had to get going. Fred threw in some of the edited together ''Eric the (fill in the blank)'' audio clips. Eric told Fred not to play them. Fred kept playing them over and over again.
Howard said he got a note saying Eric has a lot of pimples around his lips today. They checked out the video of him at JFSC.tv. They checked him out and said that there was something up with him. They didn't spend much time on that.
Howard said that Eric calls in every day and stays on hold for like 3 or 4 hours. Howard said that he was on yesterday when Angie was in. Eric said they could have skipped Artie's boring story yesterday. Howard said that maybe he's right about that. He let Eric go after that.
Howard played the audio of Eric calling Johnny Fratto in the middle of the night, waking up his baby. In the clip you can hear Johnny's baby screaming at 2:30 in the morning and Johnny saying that he's going to get a screwdriver to take Eric apart if he does that again.
Howard said that it's been getting really bad lately and it started coming back a couple of months ago. Howard said he was in denial about it but they're back and he must not be cured. He figured he could just do it and get through it.
Howard said that as of last night he stopped doing the rituals but now he's going nuts. He said that when he reads a newspaper he has to turn the page a certain way. Then if he doesn't do that right he has to read it over again. Then he has to touch the computer a certain way and read things a certain way. He has to fast forward a certain way and he ends up going back and doing those things over again. He said it distracts you from what's really bothering you. Artie said that he had to do things where he had to stop a DVD at the exact point so he could go to bed.
Howard said he wondered why it was returning and the psychiatrist didn't know what to do. He said that they had enough to cover with him. Howard said that the rituals lead to his back pain and the back pain has gone since he stopped doing the rituals.
Howard said that he's officially on the wagon. He said he's not doing the rituals. Robin said that Howard just doesn't like it when she's better off than her. Howard said he doesn't think that she's fine and there's something so wrong going on with her. Robin said that she's not mental but Howard thinks that she is. Howard said that he was so tired from all of the rituals. Howard said that everything bothers him these days.
Howard said that Sean didn't want to make his whole speech about his wife and he came across as a dick head in that. Robin said that she stays with that dick head so it's her own fault.
Howard said that he's officially not doing any OCD rituals. Howard mentioned that Kate Winslet should buy her father some teeth. He said that dude had checkerboard teeth on that show.
Howard said he had to compliment Queen Latifah for the way she sang on the Academy Awards. Robin said that she wasn't that good. She said that she was okay but not that great. Howard said he thought it was pretty good. He said that he was surprised she had any talent at all.
Howard mentioned his movie ''Private Parts'' and how the woman who did hair in that, Colleen Callahan, has done many other movies. He said that this year they had the category of ''make up'' and Colleen was thanked in a speech and they showed her out in the audience. Howard said that she finally won on the movie ''Benjamin Button'' so that was great to see.
Howard asked if anyone there is still smoking other than Artie. Artie said that some of the younger guys are still smoking. Howard said that smoking is just wrong. Artie said he knows that it's bad but it's so hard to quit. Artie said that he used to smoke like 3 packs a night years ago when he was doing shows. He said he hates smoking.
Howard asked the guys who smokes there. Robin said that they all smoke outside and she has to walk through a tunnel of smoke outside. Artie said that Tracey Millman, Sal and others are smoking. Gary said that Teddy smokes too. Artie said there are some Howard TV guys who smoke too. Artie said the guy who gave Robin the wind chimes smokes.
Howard told the guys to go check out the Body Works exhibit to see what it does to your lungs. He said it's so stupid to smoke.
Howard said that some of his OCD things are about radio. He said that he does rituals before he reads the radio columns in the paper because he's afraid of what's going to happen if he doesn't. He said that he knows that they don't work but he feels compelled to do that stuff.
Artie asked Howard if anything has ever happened that caused him to think that he didn't do his OCD right. Howard said nothing like that has happened.
Howard said that he has to leave his office with his right shoulder out and today he didn't do that. He said that he goes into auto pilot and just does that stuff usually. Today he said that it saved him like 5 minutes not doing the rituals. He said he got to work early today because he didn't do that stuff.
Howard said that therapy stresses him out too because it takes so much of his time up. He said he was telling his therapist how he thinks he's so together and then this stuff happens.
Howard said he went to dinner with his oldest daughter last night and she was under the impression that he's pretty together and with it. He said that he really doesn't know what the fuck he's doing and it's all an act. He had to tell her that last night. He said she was quite amazed by that.
Artie said that people think he knows what he's doing in the business too but he's really just improvising. He's just winging it as he goes along.
Howard said he really doesn't know a thing and it's so weird that people think he knows so much. Howard said he just has an opinion.
Howard said that he was walking around all fatigued and it was very hard for him. He said that all he does lately is sleep. He went to bed at 9 o'clock last night while Beth was watching ''The Bachelor.''
Howard said he got up at 4 in the morning and thought about how he couldn't wait to take a nap this afternoon. He said that no amount of sleep is good enough for him. Howard said that the Bachelor guy is a real pussy. He said that he's really hooked up with a hot chick on that show though. He said that's the way it always goes. He said that the women are always fucked up though. He said that they're on TV trying to meet a guy so of course they're fucked up.
Howard said that there was one guy on The Bachelor who was a professional fisherman. Howard said that guys like that can't be making a lot of money. Artie said that they might be able to make good money doing that. He said that there are people who do other wacky things like that and make a lot of money.
Howard said that he fisherman guy had the lowest ratings when they had him on. Howard said that women aren't interested in that. Howard said that the best guy was the fisherman because he obviously didn't have a big game plan in life. He said that he was a good looking guy. Artie said that there is some skill to doing that, at least that's what guys who fish will tell you.
Howard said that the fisherman guy is going to end up taking their women to a cabin and go out fishing with them. That's not what women are looking for.
Howard said that the fisherman guy ended up announcing that he was getting married and then he read that the chick beat him up. Howard said it may not have been the fisherman guy but it was one of the Bachelor guys.
Howard said that the women on those shows are all so desperate. He said that the women get to bring the Bachelor home to their parents toward the end of the show. Howard said that one of the girls on the show refused to bring him home. Howard said that they didn't want to be on the show and that's the girl the guy should probably marry because her parents are the only normal ones.
Howard said that the broads are all whacked out of their skull. Howard said that they're all desperate. He talked about last season's show where they had this professional snow boarder on and he was living in a log cabin like Abraham Lincoln. He said that the chick thought the guy was fun and wanted to marry him. Now they've broken up because she must have realized what she was getting into.
Robin said that it's all about the fantasy of TV. She said that they're flying them all over the place in planes and helicopters and then reality hits. When they get to the real world they realize that the other person isn't paying full attention to them.
Howard talked more about the fisherman guy and how he got beat up by the girlfriend. Howard said that she was hot too. Howard figured that she must have gotten fed up with the fishing thing. He said there sure are some crazy professions out there. Howard said he thought he was insane for going into radio early on. He said that he was playing records in a little house in Westchester and it was barely a radio station. Howard said that they had closets full of records in one bedroom. The living room was their office for the secretary. The kitchen was the general manager's office. Robin said she had one job where the dining room was the sales office. Howard said that they didn't even have a dining room at this place he was working at.
Howard said that it's so ridiculous that you get ratings based on what music you play. He said that it's such a dumb occupation. Howard said it's no wonder he's doing these OCD rituals. Howard said that if anyone should be touching things with OCD, it should be Fred.
Fred asked how Bianca was doing. Howard said that she's doing good. She was kind of sick and he found out that it was just allergies. She had blood in her stool. Howard was telling the guys about that and Artie said he had to throw out his breakfast.
Howard said that he was watching a movie one day and the Vet called and asked about the diarrhea and if he had examined the bowel movement. Howard said that he didn't do that with the last time she went. The Vet asked him to go out and find the latest doody. He said it was dark out and raining so he had to go out and try to find this doody. Howard said that he was wandering around the yard looking for it and he didn't find it. Howard said that they keep the yard pretty clean usually but not when it's raining out.
Howard said that he couldn't find it so Beth went out and found it within seconds. Howard said he had no idea where it could be but Beth was able to find it right away. Artie said that the fact that Howard even tried to find it is amazing. He said he would have put a piece of plywood up on the door and left the dog out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the fisherman guy has his own show on ESPN and he has a show with that chick he met on The Bachelor. The guy said that she became a fisher and now she's dressing up and going out fishing. Howard said that's the gayest profession ever. He thanked the guy for the call.
Another caller asked Howard about the KLSX controversy and how some people were blaming Tom Leykis for taking the whole station down by not taking a pay cut. Howard said that's bullshit.
Howard said that KLSX was doing really good when he was on out there. He said that he worked with some good people out there when he was on the station. Howard said that the guy is now on another station and it all went to hell when he left. Howard said that the station never recovered when they left. He said that he's kind of happy about that because it makes him seem more talented. Robin said that it doesn't make it appear that way, it proves that he is the greatest thing to happen to radio. Howard said that he was trying to be humble.
Howard said that what did them in out there was when he walked out of his office with his right shoulder out. He said that's what must have done it.
Artie asked if they have any friends over at K-Rock because there are rumors that they may go all music too. Howard said that Booker is still over there but he's a music guy so he might be safe.
Howard said that he was reading about some radio guys and noticed that there are a lot of guys going by the name ''frosty'' out there. He said that so many people out there are so willing to bash him after everything he's done. The caller had mentioned that someone on a talk show had said that the only reason that Robin is on the show is so they can use the N-word. Artie pointed out that Howard isn't in any rush to say the N-word on the air every day.
Howard said he was listening to Bubba yesterday and he heard him complaining about this guy he's in a war against. Howard said that he was talking about that and then Bubba was talking about the cars that his son races. Howard said that people are blaming Bubba for buying his kid's way into the business and getting all upset about that. Howard figures that Bubba's dream is to have a professional race car driving son. He said that he's grooming him for that. Robin said that maybe he'll just be a kid with a big car.
Artie said that they're constantly working on the cars in Bubba's garage down there. He said that he's seen all of that stuff and the kid must be in a dream land.
Howard said that Bubba was talking about that stuff and then they were talking about Brent and something he's up to and they seem to have their hands into a ton of stuff. Howard said that there was something going on with ultimate fighting or something.
Ronnie came in and talked about some of the stuff that Bubba shows up with when they take his son racing. They show up with a full truck full of two cars and extra engines so they can get the car running again. The people who are there are all jealous of all of that stuff. Ronnie said that Bubba sponsors some other kid too. He's got his own team going on.
Howard asked Ronnie about something they were listening to yesterday about wrestling. Ronnie said that he's involved in so many things down there. Howard wondered how he has time for all of that stuff. Ronnie said that they get free food at their studio down there so that's part of it. Robin said that they're always talking about the energy bars and stuff like that. Howard said that they're really just candy bars and they put a lot of weight on you. They had to go to break after that.
Tim said that the kid has his own web site and he's only 5 years old. Howard asked if the kid has endorsements yet. Tim said that he thinks he does. They actually have some of the racing coming up on Howard TV tomorrow night.
Fred said that they got the kid into racing at 3 years old. Artie said that's pretty intense. Howard said he never pushed his kids into anything like that. He said that he did get them karate lessons but that was it.
Howard wondered how fast they go in those cars. Fred said that they do have roll cages and a lot of protection. Howard wondered if you're allowed to drive at 5 years old. Fred said that they can't race against other kids until they're 5 years old.
Ronnie said that those cars go like 75-100 miles per hour. The guys said that there's no way that they go that fast. Doug Goodstein came in and said that they have some video of them doing that and Bubba drives against him competitively and cuts his kid off. He said that it's really disturbing.
Doug said they're going to put that show back up tomorrow night. Fred said that the cars only go 35 MPH according to what he was reading. Doug said he thinks that they do about 40. As they get older they speed up according to what Fred was reading. Ronnie said that all of the NASCAR racers start out with stuff like that.
Howard said he always thought that driving was just driving. He said he must be wrong. Fred and Ronnie said that there is some skill involved there.
Howard wondered why Bubba would want that for his kid. Ronnie said that Bubba was never able to become a pro and he must want his son to be into that stuff. Howard thanked the guys for the details and let them go.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he's listening to this morning. He wanted to be done with the Bubba shit already. Howard said that he was just listening to his show and talking about what he heard. The guy said that Bubba isn't funny or entertaining. Howard told the guy to get the fuck off his phone and told him he's a douche bag. Howard said that he hasn't spoken about Bubba in like a month and he only spent 5 minutes on it. He wondered where Tracy was to say ''Douche'' for him. Fred played the clip a short time later.
Howard said he gets a lot of mail about that kind of stuff and he's not sure why people get so upset about such little things.
Howard mentioned that there were a bunch of black people over at the NY Post protesting a cartoon that was in the paper recently. They portrayed Obama as a monkey and they were upset about that. Howard said that the artist has been portraying every President as a monkey though so it's not because the guy is black. Howard said that he has to say that the guy has always done that. Robin said she wants to see that.
Artie said he agrees with Howard based on what he heard. He said the guy should expect to hear shit when he does something like that though.
Howard said that Sal and Richard went down to the protest and asked some people some questions. Sal and Richard were asking one guy why he was outside booing. The guy said it was over the cartoon that they had printed. There was a woman out there banging a bell in protest. She said that the President isn't a monkey. Then another woman came up and said that she thinks that the other woman is wrong. The woman asked Sal if he wanted to fight. Sal said no and she told him to get the mic out of her face. Howard said that she actually walked up to Sal so that was kind of strange.
Sal asked some of the people down there about Gary Dell'Abate being compared to monkeys too. One woman said she didn't like that either. She said that his boss is rude if he calls his producer names like that. She said that Howard is very rude and they know that.
Howard said he told Sal not to bring his name up like that because he's not the one calling Gary a monkey. Sal is the one who does that himself.
Howard said that he had a game to play today too. He had Lisa G come in first though. Lisa came in with her Howard 100 News preview. She said that she spoke to George Takei about going to the Academy Awards and they were right behind Brad and Angelina so when they heard everyone yelling out ''Brad, Brad!'' George's husband Brad was taking it all in and waving to everyone.
Howard did his George Takei impression and reenacted that conversation with Lisa. Howard played some of George's ''I'm Dreaming of a White Penis'' song parody. He had Fred throwing in some other George sound clips while they were talking about that. They also played the ''Brad's Big Balls'' song parody. Lisa asked when George was coming back. Howard said he's booked to come in soon. He thought he was supposed to be in this week actually. Howard said he got a note saying that he'll be in next week.
Lisa said that they have a story about Richard Christy's short film called ''Majestic Loin Cloth'' which is a rock opera featuring Richard. She said that Richard calls the film a piece of shit.
Lisa said that Sal spent his Valentine's day getting his wife cheap flowers from Shop Rite. She said that Sal told her that his wife fell asleep that night but offered him a rain check on sex.
Artie was goofing on Gary saying that they don't have the money to bring him out there. Howard asked him if he wanted to go to the moon again. Gary said he doesn't want to do that. There are no girls on the moon. Howard said he would get girls on the moon if he was willing to go there again. Gary said he wants Miss Howard Stern to be on the show with him.
Howard said they had a lot of fun with Gary last year and some people thought it was cruel. Howard asked Gary why he was so scared on the moon last year. Gary said that he had never been there before. Gary said that there were no real girls there. There were Playboy magazines though.
Howard said that Gary wasn't impressed with the moon and he was afraid to get back into the rocket ship to get him back to the studio. He said they just had to open the door to the moon to get him back there.
Artie told Gary that they can't have him come out there again due to budget cuts. Gary kept calling Artie ''Daddy'' when he'd talk to him and no one was sure where that was coming from.
Howard said he'll bring Gary up in the meeting today. He said they'll try to figure something out for him. Howard had Ed Torian audio clips on the phone to question Gary. They had Ed asking Gary a bunch of various questions and asking him if his name was John, Mike or Richard and other stuff. Gary didn't know they were goofing on him of course. They had question after question that they just kept rattling off. Gary was answering every question and saying ''no'' to most of them. They eventually ran out and started repeating the questions so Howard cut them off.
Howard asked Gary about the masturbation thing because he has to do that. Gary said that he does but not very often. Gary said he didn't remember the last time he did it.
The first question was ''How many legs does a snake have?'' John Boy laughed when he heard that. John said that he was going to say that neither of the retards would know that. Gary said ''none.'' Wendy said ''four.''
The next question was ''What animal has babies called kittens?'' John Boy said that they'd both know it. Gary said that wasn't one of the options because at no point did they both know it. Wendy said it was a cat, Gary said it was a rooster. John Boy had said that Gary would get it right.
Howard played the next one which was ''Where is the anus?'' John said that Gary will know. Gary said ''probably sex'' and Wendy said ''probably the vagina.''
Howard said that John Boy had lost so he had to let him go. Howard asked Gary, who was still on the phone, why he said rooster to the kitten question. Gary said he didn't remember that.
Howard asked Gary what the anus is. Gary said that it was sex. Then he said that it was the asshole. Artie said that's where you put your dog's cock. Gary said ''right'' but then corrected himself and called Artie an asshole. Howard thanked Gary for the call and let him go.
Howard got another caller, Matt, on the line to play the game. He played the first question which was ''How many states are there?'' Matt said neither would know. Gary said 50, Wendy said 200.
The next question was ''What animal makes pork?'' Matt said that he was going to say that neither knew. Wendy said pig and Gary said cow. Matt got that one wrong too.
Next was ''What country do Chinese people come from?'' Matt said that Gary would know. Gary said Korea and Wendy said Mexico. Howard said that Matt didn't win the money. Matt said the game is too hard.
Howard got another caller on the line. This was Brian. Howard played the first question which was ''What is the name of our President?'' The caller said he thinks that Gary will know. Wendy said George Bush and Gary said ''Barack Obama you idiot.''
Next up was ''What super hero is played by Bruce Wayne?'' Brian said neither would know. Wendy said Batman, Gary said Superman.
The next question was ''Who was Ronald Reagan?'' Brian said that he was going to say that neighbor knew. Wendy knew he was a president. Gary had no idea.
Next up was ''What is H2O?'' The caller said neither would know. Wendy said ''Halloween'' and Gary said ''twenty.''
Howard said that Brian had one more chance to win. The next question was ''What animal has a pouch on her belly to carry her baby?'' Brian said that Gary would know it. Gary said kangaroo and Wendy said Panda Bear. The caller actually won.
Howard asked the caller if he works with retarded people or something. He said that his sister does. Howard said that it was a very hard game but Brian did win $500. Howard wrapped up with him and put him on hold.
Howard said that Sal put that game together. He had a few more questions...
Howard said that he was reading about a bank heist in Brooklyn where these guys went in through the roof after building a chimney to hide behind so people wouldn't know what they were doing. Howard said that they broke into 60 safe deposit boxes.
Howard read that they knew about the fake chimney because the businesses outside have cameras showing what was going on. He said that one of the guys knew that something was going on when his camera was knocked out. He warned the bank but the bank didn't do anything. They just ignored the guy.
Howard said that this was a pretty ingenious thing to do and if someone is that smart they must be able to run a corporation or something. Robin said that they'd have to actually show up to work every day if they did that.
Howard said that there's a new archbishop coming to the city. He said that this new guy is apparently much more fun than the other guy was. He said that the guy is semi-human looking and has a personality and people are fascinated by that.
Howard said that when he looks at pictures of guys like that he wonders if they're closeted homosexuals or something. He said that this guy was apparently a great guy out in the city where he was at. He said that the guy was a good guy and he didn't have any sex scandals or anything like that. The guy actually revealed some names of pedophiles and stuff and did the right thing. Howard said that now he's coming from St. Louis to New York City. Howard said that he looks semi-normal so people dig him.
Howard said that things have gotten really bad and you don't want to leave your kid alone with a priest anymore. Artie said that he thinks that he had a priest that didn't do anything wrong. He doesn't know of any friends who had any problems. Robin said that the Egan guy was no fun from what she had read.
Howard said that there's a whole crime wave going on in the city. He said that there are a lot of Bonnie and Clyde types out there. They just caught one guy dressed in drag who was trying to rob a bank. They got his license plate number and noted that the guy looked like Howard Stern.
Janessa said that she works out at the gym to keep that off of her. She said that she actually eats like a pig. Howard said that her ass is something else. Artie saw that and said that he had to get out of there.
Janessa told Howard that she's too short to be a model even though she's 5'8'' tall. Now she's doing porn instead. Howard said that he thinks that she might be a lesbian based on what she's doing in the porn. She said that she lost her virginity to a guy at 18 and she's still with that guy ''on and off.'' She said that she's only made love to that one guy.
Howard said that Janessa has had many women but only the one guy. Howard said that he thinks she's a lesbian if that's the way things are going. Janessa said that she does a lot of work and travel so she doesn't get to spend a lot of time with her man. She said that they don't really break up, they just spend time away from each other.
Howard asked Janessa if she brings women home to the guy. She said she likes them all to herself. She said that she never has a solid girlfriend, most of them are one night stand type of relationships.
Howard asked her what she does on her web site. Janessa said that she masturbates on camera and things like that. She also stuffs panties up her vagina so she does that. She stuffs them all the way in, comes, and then pulls them out. She said that guys like to see that. She said that she slowly pulls them out after she masturbates.
Janessa said that she says the guys names in the video so they're personalized for them. She said that she can take money or the guys can buy her gifts from her wish lists that she has on her web site. Howard asked her what she does with the panties. She said that she doesn't do anything with them. She said that it can be illegal to sell stuff like that in other states.
Howard had a clip of Janessa putting the panties in her vagina. They watched the video but there was no audio. Howard said that she was stuffing the whole panties in there and not just a little bit of them.
Howard said that Janessa also does foot fetish stuff. She said that she does that and it all depends on what the guy is looking for. She said that she can suck on her own toes and do that for the guys who request it. She said that some guys just want to see the bottom of her feet crumple.
Howard said that Janessa is making a good living at this. Janessa said that she loves doing it. Howard said he read that she will do role playing in her videos too. She said that she will do that and she will play characters for guys to play along with. She said that she can narrate a whole story.
Howard said that she does pretty much everything except boys. She said that she won't put her high heels in her vagina either. She said that's dirty and she won't do that. Robin asked if she's making six figures. She said that she is doing very well and she just started it in December.
Howard read that Janessa went to Catholic school. She said that she did and she never was spanked by nuns or anything like that. Artie asked her how much it would cost to shove his blackberry up her twat. She said that it might not fit up there.
Howard asked Janessa when she started getting it on with other girls. She said she was probably 15. She started to develop around 17. Artie said that her ass is almost flawless. She said that she gets hit on by girls more than she does by guys. She said that it happens everywhere too. She said that even at the train station she gets hit on.
Howard asked if she's ever had girls stick their tongue up her ass. She said she has and she loves it. She said that she has done that to other girls too and she loves that. She said that she doesn't like it as much as eating a girl out though.
Howard asked Janessa about some of the girls she's gotten it on with. She told some stories about having sex in front of a bunch of people at a porn convention. Janessa said that she loves doing that in front of people. She said she used to be really conservative before she got into the business. Howard said that this is what that Catholic school will do to people. He asked if her parents split up at an early age or something. She said that her step-dad was a real jerk. She said that she hasn't spoken to her real dad in 15 years or so.
Janessa said that her mother was a stripper for a while. She's very conservative now though. She said that she was really hot when she was younger.
Howard asked Janessa if her step-dad ever tried to get it on with her. She said that he was very respectful of her but he was a jerk to her mother and to her. She said that he never tried to do anything with her though. Howard said that she's something else. Artie said that she's his favorite person in the world.
Howard asked Janessa about doing anal. She said she just got into that and she's just started with one finger so far. She said that she plans to go as far as she can with her web site and stay within her limitations. Robin wondered where she was going with the anal. Janessa said that she plans on going to two fingers maybe. She won't let her boyfriend stick his cock in there. She said that she doesn't like big penises either and her boyfriend is of average size.
Howard read that Janessa's boyfriend wants to see her have sex with another man. Artie said that he'd be up for that. Janessa said that she has had girlfriends in front of her boyfriend but he's not allowed to penetrate them. She's fine with him doing oral on the other woman. Artie said that he wants to know what's going on out there. He said he wasn't even able to get Dana to make a sandwich. He was shocked by what he was hearing this morning.
Howard said that Janessa is hot and she used to be a licensed masseuse. He said that he would ask her to do a massage on him if he could. He asked her if she ever had guys ask her to jerk them off. She said that she never did that and she was very professional when she was doing that job. Howard asked her what she would wear when she'd do that. She said she would cover up and not wear anything revealing.
Howard asked Janessa about the type of massages she would do and if she would get close to the penis. She said that she would never get that close to the groin area. She said that she's never had to move any penis out of the way when she was massaging guys. Howard asked if she ever got sensuous with the women she massaged. She said that she never did. She didn't have any really hot chicks when she was doing that.
Howard said that Janessa was great and he thinks that the fans are going to love her. Howard thanked her for coming in. Artie told her to come back in when she's off again with her boyfriend. Howard asked her to give her web site a plug. She said that it's JanessaBrazil.com
Artie was still wondering what kind of guy gets a girl like this and how they find these chicks. Artie wanted to know what the boyfriend did. Howard had her come back in. She said that he's a web site designer. She said that he probably makes between $50-60,000 a year. She also said that he has a football player build.
Howard wanted to see Janessa naked as long as she was back in there. Janessa took off her top and showed her 34-D breasts which were saline implants. Howard had her take off her bottoms too. She was completely shaved down and Howard said she had a nice vagina.
Howard wondered why Artie isn't with a girl like this. Artie said that he's in the wrong business. He said that he also thinks he turns women off. Howard said that Artie is worth over a million a year had he has a nice shore house in Jersey. Artie said that she's the one hot chick who isn't interested in that stuff.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who told them to have her take a ride on the Sybian. Howard asked her if she was up for that. She said that she'd love to ride it.
Howard told Janessa to take it for a ride but be very honest when she's on there. Jeff told Howard to make sure that Gary wears his mask today. Howard said that he's been getting a lot of mail about that and people have been complaining about him not wearing his mask. Howard asked Gary to please wear it today. Gary said that he minds wearing it and he doesn't want to run the Sybian anymore if he has to wear the mask. Mike Gange gave Gary a welding helmet to wear.
Howard said he thinks that Janessa will love this machine. Gary wasn't able to see anything with the Welder's mask on. Howard told him to keep it on and keep it down so he sounded like the Gammorean Guard guy.
Howard told Janessa he was going to stay quiet during this since people complain when he talks. Howard had Gary start her off slow and then had him up the speed a little bit. Janessa asked for more juice from the machine so Gary turned it up.
Janessa said that it was a very different feeling than she's had before. She said that she felt like she had butterflies in her stomach. Jeff the Drunk said he did too. Howard had Gary up the juice some more. He jacked it up to about 70 percent. Howard had him turn it up to 100. Janessa was moaning and saying that it felt good. She was moaning and said that she needs one at home. She said that she was going to come and kept going for about another minute. The machine was at top speed the whole time. Janessa kept moaning and said she was going to come. A few seconds later she did. Howard said she hopped off that thing when she finished. Howard said he wanted to welcome the new Archbishop to the city after that.
Janessa said that beats her vibrator by a mile. She said that was the best orgasm ever. Howard thanked her for that. Robin said that she was amazed because some women lately weren't getting off and she was doubting the machine.
Howard thanked Jeff for suggesting that today. Jeff said that he feels vindicated after that. Howard took some more phone calls and let some guys comment on what they had just heard. A few guys really enjoyed that. Howard said that you can check out Janessa at her web site JanessaBrazil.com.
Howard said he loves that Welding mask that Gary was wearing. He told them to throw out the rest of the masks, he likes that one the best. He said it's the best one for Gary because he's completely hidden. Howard said that Gange will be shooting her video today for Howard TV. Gary said that the Howard TV guys have shot her once already and they claim that the sound didn't work so they brought her back in. Howard said that's a bunch of bullshit.
Gange said that they have JD giving her orders doing stuff in one video. Howard said that someone told him that they saw Gange working with her for like an hour out in the hallway the other day. He said that Gange is in love with her as always.
Howard came back and said that was a good song Fred was playing. He said that's the guy Scott Stapp. Howard wondered what happened to him. Fred said he self destructed.
Howard had the top 5 songs to play. He said that he's been listening to some of the music stations and they're doing a lot of talk on one of the stations he was talking about, Sirius Hits 1. Howard said that they apparently determined that they need a little bit of talk in there. He said he doesn't want them firing them or anything but they might want to cut down on the chatter. He said they poll the audience a lot on there.
Howard said he listens to the morning mash up and he had the top five songs from that. He said that Flo Rida is number 1. He played a little bit of his hit song. He said that Flo Rida will be back on the show soon. Howard played some Justin Timberlake as the number 2 song. Howard played some Eminem and Dr. Dre next. Howard said that he hasn't had an album out in 3 years and he's come out with another hit album. He said that's pretty amazing. They spent a minute talking about that song. They played through a couple minutes of the song as well. Howard seemed to like it.
Howard played some Kanye west and then some Lady Gaga. Howard said that he was talking to Ronnie about how tired he's been and how he doesn't know how Artie does it after a weekend staying out so late.
Artie said that what fucks him up is when he stays up late and then sleeps all day. He said that it's hard to recover from the weekends. He said it's usually Wednesday before he has recovered from the weekend. They spent a short time talking about that. Artie said that he was thinking about getting on an anti-depressant or something.
Artie said that Rush must have been courted by satellite radio. He must be able to bring something. Howard said he disagrees with him on that. He said that he's not all that spectacular.
Steve said that Bill O'Reilly is going to be doing a Wrap Up Show of his own on his web site. It'll cost you $50 to hear it though.
Steve said that Stuttering John is still stuttering and they've had to cut some of them out of the Tonight Show. John talked about that in an interview.
Steve said that Harvey Leeds wants to book a theater and put the Howard 100 News team out on stage and call it the News Schmooze. Howard said that Harvey has never produced any hit shows. Steve said that Harvey was talking about having everyone on the news team doing their thing. High Pitch Mike would be one guy so Howard wondered what he'd be doing. Howard said he'd like to hear how Mike is doing lately.
Eric the Midget was back on the phone and wanted to talk to Steve. Eric asked Steve how his interview with him went yesterday. Steve said it was exciting. That was it. Howard asked what Eric was doing. He wasn't sure why he made that call.
Howard said he heard that mike was making out with a guy the other night. Gary said he's been hearing a lot of reports about him. He told Howard some of the stuff that's been going on with him that he's heard about.
Artie was trying to contain his laughter when Gary came in and told some of the Mike stories. Gary was telling him about Mike getting a date and then the date going out and making out with some other guy. Artie was laughing his ass off and covering up his mouth trying not to laugh on air. It was such a hard laugh that he wasn't able to contain it. Artie was cracking up the whole time and he was out of breath from laughing so hard.
Howard said he heard that Mike wasn't accepting straight guys as friends on his Facebook page anymore. Gary said that he might be coming into his own now.
Steve said that the Miserable Men are filling in for Scott Ferrall all week long on Howard 101. He wrapped up after that.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran through his list of subjects for today's show. That led to the guys talking about Janessa Brazil for a few minutes. Artie wasn't sure that he could date a chick like that because he'd be afraid that she was more into chicks and he was just there bothering her. Howard said that she seems like the perfect person to date to him. Artie said that he would date her no problem. He said that she's very hot.
Howard took a call from a guy who said asked how their heads didn't blow up. He said that they must be masters of their heads if they didn't. Howard said that he doesn't know that his head didn't blow up. They spent a couple more minutes on that subject. They also talked about Robin and her weight loss and hair parting that they talked about earlier in the morning.
Robin started off her news talking about playing sports as kids and then read a story about a couple of hockey players who collapsed while playing recently. They were a couple of non-professionals playing the game and they had heart attacks and died.
Robin read some news about the chimpanzee that attacked a woman last week. The woman had her thumb bitten a few years ago and they had to drag the chimp away. Robin also talked about another pet story where a crocodile guarded it's owner's body after he died. Howard said the whole chimp story was weird and the woman was doing strange things with that chimp.
Robin said that the woman who was attacked had severe injuries to her face and hands. She went through a lot of surgery to reattach her face. Both of her eyes were ripped out by the chimp though. Howard said that she may have been better off dead. They had to break a short time later.
After the break, around 10:10am, Robin got right back to her news and read a story about a guy in prison who tried to cut off his penis. He had tried the same thing in the past and had cut most of it off.
Robin read a story about a woman who thinks that Jerry Lewis might be her father. The woman is getting the DNA test from Jerry's son since Jerry won't comply. Howard said that maybe Jerry didn't give his son enough money and this is his way of getting back at him. Howard said that Jerry was downplaying his appearance on the Academy Awards the other night. He said that it was actually kind of disappointing. He said he likes Jerry better when he's nuts.
Robin read a story about the Octomom, Nadya Suleman. Howard said that he saw pictures of her before she blew her lips up and she looked kind of normal. He said that he can't stand her now. Robin had some audio of Octomom's mother talking about her daughter having 8 more kids after having 6 already. The two of them were going at each other in some interview. Robin had some more audio of the two of them going at each other about having more kids and Nadya saying that you can't alter the past.
Robin had some news about this guy who claims he might be the father of the octuplets. She had some audio of that guy talking about how he dated Nadya. He claims that she made him donate to the fertility clinic when they were out on a date.
Robin had some news about Rihanna and how TMZ was able to get the pictures. They're not saying exactly how they did get them but they claim that they got them legally. They're even saying that they're not sure that those pictures are actually of Rihanna.
Robin had a story about the 11 year old boy who killed the pregnant girlfriend of his father's. The kid has been threatening to hurt the woman for months and nothing was done about it. Artie said that kid is disturbing looking, he saw pictures of him. Howard said that Bubba would probably suggest getting that kid into midget car racing. Howard and the guys talked about the 11 year old and how kids like that might not even know the consequences of what happens when you shoot someone. He said that's probably what he'd use as a defense in that case.
Robin had some audio clips from some news reports about that 11 year old murder suspect and how his 7 year old sister was one of the witnesses. The kid went to school after he allegedly shot the woman.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's ever taken advantage of a woman while she's sleeping. Howard said that he's never done that. The caller said that Shuli was talking about fingering his girlfriend while she sleeps. Howard said that Shuli is a pervert. Howard said he would never do that to a chick. He doesn't even hug Beth when he's sleeping because he wouldn't want her to wake him up like that if he was sleeping.
The caller said that Miserable Men is fantastic. Howard was still creeped out by Shuli and his fingering. He said he thinks that Shuli is full of it and he's just trying to be outrageous. Howard said there's no way he actually does that. Howard said that he thinks that Shuli is just trying to out-Levy, Bob Levy.
Robin read a story about a nurse who was awarded $15 million for being sexually harassed on her job. Howard said that people probably think he's like that doctor doing weird shit to women. The doctor had allegedly rubbed nitro glycerine on the nurse's body. Howard said that he really doesn't do that stuff. That nurse kept her job for 8 years so Robin wondered why she would stay there that long if that kind of thing was going on. Howard said it might be hard to find a job.
Robin read some news about the new Archbishop that's taking over there in New York. She had some audio of that guy talking about taking over. She also had some audio of Cardinal Egan talking about how he'll be sticking around in the city. Robin read a story about some people from SNAP held a protest outside of St. Patrick's while Dolan was accepting his position. They claim that he protected some sex abusers in the church.
Robin read some news about President Obama's upcoming press conference. He's going to be talking about how he's trying to give the economy a boost.
Robin had some news about the Chandra Levy case and how they're close to charging someone for the 2001 murder. They had a break in the case. Howard said that they had accused a congressman of that murder. Robin said that he was uncooperative about that case back then because he had allegedly had a sexual relationship with her.
Howard said that whole thing got knocked out of the news because of 9/11. Hank the Dwarf's death was also knocked out of the news as well back on 9/11.
Robin had a story about George Clooney going to the White House to discuss some stuff with President Obama. That led to Robin and Artie talking about Clooney's acting for a minute before Howard cut Robin and Artie off from that discussion. Howard said that it's ridiculous that Obama took a meeting with George Clooney like that.
Robin had a story about Jackson Browne suing John McCain over the use of one of his songs during his campaign run. The case has been approved to go forward by a judge.
Robin read a story about the Minnesota senate seat recount. That's been going on for 22 days now. Howard said that this is ridiculous and he wants to see Al Franken in that seat. He said he can't believe that they don't have an answer on that yet.
Robin said that they have a ton of Oscar viewing parties out in L.A. these days. She said that it's very strange that people get dressed up to go to a party where they just watch the Oscars. Robin said that Elton John jumped on that band wagon and held a party that raised $4 million. She said that Elton donated the money to an AIDS foundation. Robin ended her news after that. Howard ended the show around 10:40am.
Jon said that he had to skip to the end of the interview and brought up the welding mask that Howard made him wear. Gary said that he doesn't like wearing it but he understands why Howard liked it when he spoke to him in it.
Jon asked how the Sybian ride was. Gary said that it was good. He said he has to adjust that mask. He said that the Sybian ride was very long and he thought she busted a nut before she actually had. Gary said he thinks that it was real and she was very hot on there.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he has to agree that she was the hottest chick that has been in the studio for along time. He said that these was great on that Sybian ride.
The guy was also saying that they really need the Friday show back. Gary said that they got trashed when they were on doing the Friday show. He said that people hated that show. They also pulled the show partially because it wasn't universally loved like it is now. The caller said that he understands where they're coming from but they had some good segments on that show. Jon said they had a great time doing the show but the e-mailers spoke and they're not coming back.
Gary said that show lasted 9 months and it was better toward the end but there were people screaming about it right up to the end. Gary said it's the same way with the Best Of shows. People claim they want to hear the whole show but then you play the whole show and they don't want to hear whole shows, they just want to hear clips. They can't make everyone happy.
Another caller talked about how great Janessa was on the Sybian. He said that it was very entertaining. He also asked if they could have a rule about Sam Simon calling into the show. He said that Sam was on the show a couple of weeks ago and threatened him with a lawsuit. He said that it seems that Sam doesn't have a sense of humor at all.
The caller was saying that he'd like to know if Sam and Artie are really friends because Sam seems to bash Artie a lot. The guy said that he was disturbed by some of the stuff he's said about Sal and Artie. Gary said that if you are part of the show you do have to put up with some of that stuff. Gary said that the reason Sam called in yesterday was to talk about what had gone on out in Las Vegas. The caller said that if Ralph did get caught stealing then he's probably done it 10 or 20 other times and not gotten caught.
Jon let that guy go and took another call from a guy who said that he had to attend to himself after that Sybian ride today. He wondered how they found that chick. Gary and Jon said that they're sure that Mike Gange knows.
Gary said that he ran into this cute girl in the hallway yesterday as he was leaving the Wrap Up Show and she kind of knew him but he didn't know her. He said he went up to talk to someone upstairs and when he came back down she was talking to Gange so he figured out who she was after talking to her a little bit. Gary said that Gange spent like a half hour speaking to her out there. Benjy said that was the chick that Gange got upset with Artie over.
Gary said that today Gange is in charge of the robe that the girls wear before they go into the studio. Gange has to take that when they go into the studio. Mike said that he does a lot of stuff with the girls for the web site and for the TV show. He said that he spends a lot of time with the girls. Gange said that he gets to know them pretty well doing all of that stuff.
Jon asked Gange how he draws the line between being the producer and dating them. Gary said that there is no line and Gange would bang them if he could. Gange said that he wouldn't cross the line until after they've done their thing on the TV show. Gary said that Gange won't do it because he doesn't want the girls squeezing on him and giving them the details.
Benjy asked Gange how many of the girls he's hit on like that. Gange said that it was just the one. It was the girl that Gary was talking about earlier.
Brian Phelan came in and said that Gange had him call up the show she was appearing on and had him ask what happened with that Gange thing. Brian said that she said she would never tell. Gange said that they've hung out a couple of times but nothing has happened. Gange said that he's trying not to be her friend but it's hard.
Gary said that Mike has that problem with girls all the time. The girls become his friend and they never sleep with him.
Jon asked Gange about how things went with Janessa. Gange said that they had to shoot it over again because they ended up with no sound. Gary said it's always a big deal when they have these girls come in to do the Miss Howard TV thing. They have a whole crew in there and they have the girls reading off the teleprompter and they're never any better in the end than they are when they start.
Gary said that he has to use the bathroom back near the TV room and he watches some of the girls reading like they're on a first grade level.
Jon asked Gange which of the guys pop in to see the girls. Gange said that Tim Sabean will stop in. Gange said that most of the other people are hands off but Jared will stop in once in a while. He said that he sometimes asks the girls if they like any of the guys they've met and the girls will always mention Jared if they had met him. Gange said that they always bad mouth Jared when he walks out of the room.
Gange said that Sal will pop in once in a while. He said that Ross also likes to pop in and check out the chicks. He said that he likes to just see what they look like. He never talks to them. Tim Sabean likes to talk to them. Gary asked if he likes to take pictures with them. Gange stumbled over his words with that so Gary said they could stop there.
Jon took some more phone calls and let some more people comment on Janessa. One caller suggested that they get some Queefers in there to have a queefing contest against the farters. Gary said that he doesn't think they should mix the two.
Ralph called in and said that Gange's problem with chicks is getting into that friend zone because it's too hard to get out. He said that Gange is too nice to them and he can't be doing that if he wants to get laid. Ralph also told Gange that he should be posting some pictures of these broads on Howard's web site instead of making people search around for them. Gary said that they should give the pictures to Jason to put up on the web site. Gange said that it's Jason's job usually and they don't usually have shots of the girls ahead of time. Today was different.
Gange said that he does do the photo shoots with the Miss Howard TV girls so the guys told him that's a good move to get in with a chick.
Ralph said that this chick Janessa isn't doing very hot videos and she really needs to make them hot and not just talk about stuff. He said that she's hot but she's not interesting just talking.
Ralph told Gange that he should offer the girls a drink from the bar when they're shooing in the studio. Gange said that should be his move.
Jon asked the guys what he thought about Howard suggesting to Artie that he date a chick like Janessa. Gary said that it would seem like a bad idea. Ralph seemed to think it was a good idea and he'd be able to do that. Gary said that the sex is probably great but living real life with a chick like that might be tough. Gary said that you'd have to have her meet the family and stuff like that. Ralph said he wouldn't worry about that.
Gange said that he could date a girl like that but not do a long term thing. Ralph told Gange that's his problem and that's why he's in the Friend Zone all the time.
Ralph said that he thinks he may have been dating a hooker at one time but he never asked questions so he's not sure.
Jason came in and said that he was the one saying that Gange had a private photo shoot with Janessa. Jason said that Gange was in there alone with her doing the photo shoot with her and that's what he saw. Gange said that's not usually the case. He said that he may have been for a couple of minutes that day but he didn't remember that.
Jason was also saying that he could get those pictures up on the web site early if they need him to. He said that Gange just has to let him know.
A caller asked how they find girls for this. Gange said that they have the Howard TV web site where girls can send their pictures in. He said that they'll bring the girls to the office and meet them. He said that Janessa came through Maria's Angels which is kind of their casting agent for the Miss Howard TV thing.
Gary said that Doug seems to have backed off of this stuff and he's not as involved as he used to be. Doug said that's because he has a daughter and things change after that. Doug said that it's actually kind of great having girls like that coming through his office like that.
Benjy pointed out that the guys have the girls get naked for them but they don't show them naked on the web site or on the TV show. Doug said that some of the girls offer to get naked so they don't turn them down.
Doug said that they have to pre-interview the girls so they make sure they don't end up with a dud. He said that one girl showed up with a friend that was so much hotter than her that they auditioned the friend and she did great. There was a weird tension in the room so they didn't use either of them.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Gary wearing the mask is more distracting when he wears that mask than when he doesn't. Gary said that it's part of the joke so that's why they do that. Gary said that some of the girls don't know the show so they have no idea what's going on and they give very strange looks. Doug said that he thinks that the other guys should be wearing masks as well because they're just as disturbing as Gary.
The caller asked why they don't do a ''Hottest Chick, Biggest Bush'' contest. Gary said they actually have that game on the list.
One caller asked Gary if he's ever caught a whiff of a girl on the Sybian. Gary said that he has never smelled anything bad. Gange said that Buck Angel smelled bad. Gary said that wasn't even a woman.
The guys talked about how Sal used to smell the Sybian rubber pieces. Gange said that he used to smell them and he'd even lick them. They used to keep the pieces and they'd get them autographed but they ran out of room to store them all.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Doug and Gange why they can't run the old E! shows that match up with the replays they play during vacation. Gange said that they schedule that stuff months in advance so they don't know exactly what they're going to be playing. The caller said it would have been great to work that out. Doug said that it's been a little challenging making it happen but they have discussed it.
Another caller asked why they can't boom mic the girl instead of having some guy standing next to her. Gary said that they have to put the mic up to the Sybian. Gary said that they're trying to get the sound of the Sybian and the sound of the girl. They need guys to stand there and do that and that's the system they use.
Jon asked the guys if they're going to give up on doing the Miss Howard TV job when they get girlfriend's. Doug said that Gange might do that. Then Gregg would be up for the job next of Gange leaves. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon asked JD what he thought of her performance on the videos. JD said he's not really into the panty stuffing thing. He said that she stuffs them inside and she masturbates until she orgasms and then pulls the panties out like a magician. JD said that she also sucks the juices off the panties.
Jon asked JD if he could see himself having a long term relationship with someone who does that for a living. JD got distracted when Ronnie came into the studio. JD said he thinks that he might be able to but he's really not sure.
Ronnie said ''No problem'' to that question. He also said that he's a big fan of Janessa's friend who was in the studio with him. Janessa also came in. Jon asked her how she thinks it went today. She said that it was actually very nice. She said that Howard was much nicer to her than she thought he would be. She also said that she liked Artie and thought he was hilarious.
Jon asked Janessa what she thought of the Sybian ride. She said that she thought that it was 10 times better than her vibrator and it was crazy. She said she needs one at home. Ronnie said that they were all glued to the radio during that ride.
Ronnie and JD went at each other a little bit arguing and Ronnie told JD to get out of the studio. Jon said that JD likes Ronnie but JD gets under Ronnie's skin and that carries on for the rest of the day.
Jon asked Janessa what she thinks of Gange. She said that he's a gentleman and very professional. Jon asked her if she could see him as a possible boyfriend. She said that she could see him as a friend. Gange said that he was going to kill himself after hearing that. Doug thought she was kidding. Janessa wasn't kidding though. She said that Gange isn't aggressive and not the bad boy type. She said that he's very nice and maybe too nice. Janessa said that she likes the aggressive guys. Janessa said that she can see the wild side in Doug.
Jon asked Janessa about Ronnie and what went on with him. She said that he was very nice to her and also a gentleman. She said that she can see him more of a boss type.
Jon asked Janessa which of the guys in the room she would date if she could. She picked JD. She said that she would like to bring him out of his shell a little bit. JD said that's right, the rest of them are coming on a little too strong. She said that JD is probably a freak between the sheets. JD told her to dump her boyfriend and he'll show her what a freak he can be.
Ralph called in and told JD that was the wrong move telling her to get rid of the boyfriend. He also told Gange that he was right about him not being aggressive enough.
Ralph told Janessa that she's hot but she really needs to just put the hot stuff up on her web site. He said he just wants to see her doing sexy things. He said that she has a video of her playing herself on the dock and she has too much of herself walking. Janessa said that some guys like the build up. Ralph also said that the video is too amateurish and you can hear the wind blowing in the video.
Doug said that they had watched a video of her masturbating and an ant crawled on her ass. He said she might want to ditch that one as well. Jon gave Janessa some plugs for her web site and said she could stick around if she wanted to.
Jon asked Ronnie why he doesn't race. Ronnie said it's the money. He said he has taken some classes but you need money to go racing. He said it costs a lot to get into it and he'd need to start out young.
Gange asked Ronnie if he would do it if someone offered him a job. Ronnie said that you have to be young to be good. He said that he's getting older and his reflexes aren't that good now. He said that it's for the younger people.
Jon asked Ronnie what he thought about Robin's racing. Ronnie said that she should give it up. He said that she's not a bad driver but you have to be younger and in shape to race. Ronnie said that she wasn't running a really long race or anything. He said that she was a lot heavier then and wasn't into being in shape back then. Gange said that Robin did train a little bit but she wasn't going all that fast. Ronnie said that they did some classes at Pocono Raceway and they were running up near 170 miles per hour.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary doesn't need to wear a masks. He said that Artie should get out his tools and build something for Gary to hide behind. Jon cut that guy off short and asked Janessa if she noticed Gary at all when he was sitting there. She said that she didn't notice it at all and it wasn't distracting to her at all.
Jon asked Janessa if she came more than once like Gary had said. She said that she kind of almost came and then it went away and it was definitely a different feeling than she's ever had before. Jon said he was glad she enjoyed it.
Another caller suggested that they play Bubba's show live on Howard 101 when Howard is on vacation. Jon said he'd pass that suggestion along.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he had to chime in on something. He said that he used to watch the channel 9 show and what was huge was when Howard would do the Snapple commercials. He said that they made that company into a monster. He said that Howard made that company and he thinks that if JD read the commercials on Howard's show and on the Wrap Up Show they could charge so much money for commercials that they would have no debt by the end of the year. JD said that he hasn't been approached to do that but he'd be up for it.
A caller said that it seemed like the rules for the Gary and Wendy game were kind of screwed up today and he wondered if Howard had screwed that up. Jon said that Sal would know that answer but he wasn't around to respond to that. Jon had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about listening to SIRIUS XM all the time. He mentioned the Wrap Up Show and Artie said that he has a bone to pick with Jon Hein. He said that Jon had that broad Janessa on yesterday and asked her about him and she said that she was really into him and Jon didn't explore that more, he just took a phone call.
Howard said that not everyone is into getting Artie a date. Artie said that he just can't get her ass out of his head. Howard said that a lot of people are like that after her appearance.
Howard said he feels bad for Mike Gange. He said that Mike is such a ''friend'' to girls that he can't get laid. Howard said that he'll sit and talk to them for hours and most guys will just ask them to blow them. Howard said that Gange is the opposite of that and he just works the girls to death. Howard said that he's like that around all of the Miss Howard TV girls and he's consumed with pussy fever.
Howard said that Gange thinks that the girls will be into him but it just turns into torture for him. Howard said that another Miss Howard TV was there and Gange sat there and talked to her for an hour. Artie said that's the one that he cock blocked him on.
Gary said that the Miss Howard TV was up there to do the Maxim channel and Gange made Brian Phalen call the Maxim channel to ask her what's going on with her and Mike Gange. Howard said that Gange wants signals and he has to go through all of that to figure out what's really going on.
Artie said that he called that girl like 4 months ago and he told Gange about it. Gange is still nowhere with that chick after 4 months. Howard said that Gange hangs in there with these girls. He never gives up.
Howard played the clip and Rourke was talking about working with Eric Roberts and kissing his ass. He was also threatening to beat someone's ass there. Then he was cursing a bunch and saying ''shit'' a bunch of times. Rourke talked about his dog dying a few days before and sounded like he was going to cry.
Rourke also talked about the cops giving him a bed to sleep in 10 years ago. He said he asked for 2 pillows and they told him to fuck off. Rourke thanked a few more people in the speech and talked about how tough Darren Aronofsky was to work with.
Rourke was thanking Marissa Tomei but he didn't seem to know her name very well. He talked about her ''climbing the pole'' for the movie and talking about how great she was. Rourke thanked Vince McMahon and talked more about shooting the movie. He went on and on cursing and thanking everyone he could think of.
Howard said that Rourke is going to self destruct again if he keeps going the way he is. Howard said he was behaving for a while. Howard said that's the kind of speech you want to hear when you give an ward. That's why they let him keep going.
Howard said that they talk about terrorism like bombings and stuff but now he's thinking that the internet is like a ticking bomb for a digital Pearl Harbor-like attack on this country. Howard said that there are hackers out there who can break into financial institutions. Howard said that they're trying to build a new internet from what he's read and they're trying to make it more secure.
Howard said that we're going to have to give up more information for this new internet though. He said that he's very much behind this whole movement though. Howard said that if he were President, he'd concentrate on the new internet. Howard said that they could be brought down by this digital-terrorism thing. Robin called it cyber-terrorism but Howard didn't like that. He likes ''digital.''
Howard said he was watching that ''Sarah Marshall'' movie and he thought it was really good. He said that the movie studios are stupid and didn't push it very well. Howard said that they didn't advertise it correctly. Robin agreed with that and so did Artie.
Howard said he remembered the marketing campaign and it wasn't very well known what the movie was like. Howard said he was left thinking it was just another shitty movie. Howard said that the best thing to do is show him the movie and if it's good, he'll talk about it.
Howard said that this guy who wrote the movie is also on that ''How I Met Your Mother'' and he's got another movie coming out soon. He said that they sent him a copy of that so he's going to watch it. He thinks that they're going to be advertising with them too.
Howard said the producer of The Bachelor is sending him out the final show of the season and Beth wants him to wait for her to watch it but he's not going to be able to hold off while she's away.
Howard said Beth was reading TV Guide magazine yesterday and they had a little spoiler in it. Beth read that spoiler about The Bachelor and it spoiled it for her. She didn't know what she was about to read. Howard said he asked the producer about it and he said that they weren't right about the ending.
Howard said he saw the name of a porno called ''I Can't Believe You Sucked a Negro'' and he's going to watch that. He said that people in the porno industry love to send them movies. He said that they sent him a copy of that and he's going to watch it because it's a good name for a porno. Howard said the title means a lot to him.
JD came in and said that there are also movies from that company called ''Oh No There's a Negro In My Daughter'' and ''Oh No There's a Negro In My Mom Part II.'' Howard checked out the covers of those movie and said that even they're great.
Howard said he kept putting off watching the show but he finally did and it turned out to be really good. He said that it was a documentary and it was very interesting. He said that he didn't want to have to lie to Rosie about it being good and now he doesn't. Howard said Gary thought it was good too.
Howard said that he was hoping that he would like it so he was relieved when he did. Robin remembered one movie they saw together and it was really bad. They felt bad about it after they saw it. Artie remembered that it was ''A.I.'' and they really rolled out the red carpet for them at that movie.
Gary said that he really liked that ''America'' and he's been hearing from the publicist lately and they get mad at him if Howard doesn't watch it before the guest comes in. Howard said that they're usually better off not having him watch it first.
Artie said that he heard that Letterman watched ''Beer League'' when he went on to promote that. He said he could picture Dave in his office watching the movie and being really miserable. Howard said that Dave is a good guy to have liking your stuff because he'll get behind you and back stuff like that.
Howard read that CBS Radio is flipping KLSX to some new format of music. They call it ''Amp Radio'' with 10,000 songs in a row with limited commercial interruption. Howard said that it's just another station playing all of that pop stuff.
Howard said that there are a million radio stations like that so he's not sure how they're going to make themselves different than others. Howard said that they can't even promote what's going to be on the radio, they're promoting their web site instead. Howard wondered what that was about and said that it's very weird. He said there's so little excitement about radio that they spend more time talking about the web page.
Howard read some quotes from the people running the station where they talk about how great this new format is going to be. Howard said that it's just going to be Top 40 music and they're going to blog about it on their web site. Howard said that every station is doing the same thing now.
Howard said this is why radio sucks and blows. He said that the stations are all doing the same kind of thing and it's not interesting at all.
Howard said that he later found out that it enhances a guy's pleasure. Fred told him that it holds the blood in there and may make you last longer. Fred said that he had never used one so he really didn't know when you put it on. Howard said that if you want one you can get one on Artie-Lange.com.
Howard said that if you need a Fleshlight then it must be getting close to the end of the line for you. Artie said that the people visiting his site must need a cock ring to fuck a Fleshlight. Howard said that he's not sure he'd want that Fleshlight with him if his building caught fire. He said he can imagine using it to get out of the building in a fire or something.
Gary said that if he had bad breath then someone would say something. He said that he's there every day and no one says anything. Howard said that maybe it wasn't Gary, maybe it was Benjy's balls. Howard asked Gary to please just clean up a little bit before the meeting.
Howard said that by Noon the guy isn't going to be as fresh as he was at 3 in the morning when he got up. Gary said that they're both in the same boat and neither of them have bad breath. Howard said that maybe it was Fred who he smelled even though he was 900 feet away from him.
Howard said that Gary always interrupts Will in the middle of the meetings. Will said he didn't want to get in the middle of that but then he said that Gary will interrupt him but he's top dog there so he just lets him go.
Howard asked Gary if he still has a toothbrush and a Water Pik there in the bathroom. Gary said that he does. Howard told him to freshen up on the days of the meetings. Howard said that he knows that Gary is less than fresh so he should brush and pick before the Wrap Up Show and then he'll be ready for the meeting.
Gary said that he will brush while Robin does her news. Howard said that it might be too much time between that and the meeting. Howard said that he should do it while they're in the meeting.
Howard said that they were doing the meeting yesterday and they went through it pretty quick. They all just wanted to go home. Howard said they were discussing the guests who wanted to come in. Gary was throwing out names of D-list celebrities and it was kind of a nightmare. Howard said that they had a couple of good ones though. Howard said he didn't want to fuck up the show so he had to say no to a lot.
Howard said that they got around to talking about Bubba's kid's midget cars during the meeting. Howard said they got an e-mail about what Ronnie was saying about those cars too. There was one e-mail from a guy who said that Bubba has gotten his 5 year old kid major companies to sponsor this kid. The writer said that's why the parents hate Bubba. They also dislike him because the kid wears a HANS device in the car. Most parents don't pay for them because the kids will outgrow it.
Howard said that Bubba also has a custom made seat in the car that cost him about $3,500 when most people spend about $150 on the seats.
Howard said that his youngest daughter just got her learner's permit. He said that kind of freaked him out. Howard said he's not going to be teaching her how to drive though. Howard said he went out with Debra one time and he thought his head was going to go out the roof when she went to make a left hand turn. Howard said he hates driving and he hates being in the car with other people driving.
Howard read some more of the e-mail about Bubba's kid and some people think it's a good thing to get into but the kid may get sick of it and never become a race car driver.
Howard said that the radio business is a stupid profession but not quite as stupid as professional fisherman like the guy on The Bachelor. Howard said that there's some weird stuff out there.
Howard said that in the meeting yesterday they wanted to get Bubba's kid to midget race Eric the Midget in one of those cars. Robin said that Eric won't do it. Artie doesn't think that he's physically capable of doing that. Howard said he's not sure about that.
Howard said that they say that the word ''midget'' is like the N-word to little people. He said that if that's the case, is the term ''midget car'' like saying the N-word car? Artie said that it can't be. Howard said that he didn't know that Artie became so racially sensitive.
Howard said that the Howard TV guys have some video of Bubba and his kid racing. They showed some of that on the monitors so they could watch. Howard said that even that slow stuff looked scary to him. Howard said that Bubba was in one car, he wondered where his son was.
Howard said that watching that is mind numbingly dull to watch. He said that if Bubba wasn't doing it he's not sure why he would watch. Howard wondered who sits around and watches that stuff. Robin said there are people who watch that stuff all day long.
Howard said he was reading that drinking a glass of wine a day could lead to women getting cancer. Howard said that they used to say that it was good for you but now they say that you can get cancer. Howard said that this study they did shows that it can raise the risk of cancer. Robin said that she drinks fairly often and she doesn't think that's true. She said that the studies done saying it was good for you were done on red wine.
Howard read through the article and found some of the responses. He said that he never believed that drinking wine could be that good for you. Robin said that she doesn't drink that regularly. She doesn't have a set schedule for it.
Howard said that he drinks wine too but not all that much. He said that he drinks a lot more than he used to but all that much.
Howard read that Megan Fox has broken up with Brian Austin Green and he's sure that there are a lot of people out there who want to date her. He said that she's one of the hottest chicks he's ever seen and she seems to be a little crazy like Angelina Jolie. Howard said that she was going out with Brian and it was making a lot of people upset.
Howard said that he thinks that Megan got off the bus in Los Angeles and Brian was a major player so he secured her. Now she's a big hit and she doesn't need him now. He said that she's probably trading up from him to something better. Robin said that's like what Scott Baio was back in the day.
Howard said that they're doing this ''Who Wants A Threesome'' game coming up today. They have some other stuff coming up tomorrow for Black History Month too.
Howard said that they have a lot of stuff to ask 50 Cent about today when he comes in. That led to the guys talking about some stories they had heard about him working on a movie.
Howard said he was pleased to read that they got rid of Stephan Marbury from the Knicks. Artie said that's fascinating to him because he's going to be teaming up with guys he's worked with before. He said that the Celtics are great and it'll be interesting to see if he fucks them up. Artie and Howard spent a few minutes talking about that stuff.
Howard said that 50 Cent punched out a guy on the set of that movie and it was a white guy. Fred had found the information and said that it was Frank Hughes that was punched out. Howard said that they should put that in the outtakes at the end of the movie. Howard said that would be the best if they showed that. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that the kids on American Idol should sing ''Wild Horses'' and not the crap they sing. The guys were wondering which album that came from. Howard was pretty sure it was ''Sticky Fingers.'' Artie said that the song really is good and they should sing stuff like that on American Idol.
Howard said that if he had the words he'd sing along to it and show them what he would do on Idol. Howard said that they'd love it if he did that. Howard said that he'd like to be a consultant on that show.
Howard said that they're almost up to the ''Who Wants a Threesome'' game. He said that Lexi Belle is there to play that game. They have two couples coming in to play and they're going to do it like the Dating Game. Howard said they were going to have 3 couples but then it would just go on and on.
Howard said that he can't promise sex to the couple that wins. He said that they never know who might have what either. Howard said he doesn't trust any one himself. Howard said that they all took STD tests before they were approved to play.
Howard said that he heard Sal and Richard calling into this radio show yesterday and he's pretty sure no one heard it. Sal got on the show and said that he wanted to sell some World War II gold teeth from Jewish prisoners and the guy didn't seem to be paying attention to what he was saying. Howard said it was great because the guy had no clue. Then Richard started laughing because he thought it was so funny. Howard said that those guys just bust balls all day long.
Howard said that he got some e-mail about the OCD thing that he talked about yesterday. One writer thought it was very odd the way Robin reacted to the news about the OCD. Robin said that she tried talking to him about that and he wasn't talking yesterday.
Howard said that Lisa has a theory about Ronnie dying his goatee yesterday. He said that she noticed how white it was yesterday and today it's darker. Howard asked Ronnie to come in and show that off. Gary said that Ronnie was threatening to kick JD's ass as he was coming in.
Ronnie said that he did dye it and ''so what!?'' He pointed out that Lisa colors her hair too. Howard said that it's different when a guy does that kind of thing.
Howard asked Ronnie why he's so upset with JD. Ronnie said that he's just like Stuttering John and runs to everyone about everything. Ronnie didn't believe that JD wasn't the one who told Lisa about it. Lisa said that JD didn't say a word to her.
Ronnie said that JD laughs at every single thing. JD said that he was laughing at him yesterday about the way he was saying the word ''panda'' as ''pander.'' Ronnie said that Doug Goodstein also has this new thing about busting his balls and he doesn't like that. Ronnie said that everyone is busting his balls lately.
Howard asked Ronnie if they said anything to him about his beard yesterday. Ronnie said that they didn't say anything. He said they probably just wanted to see what would happen. He said he used his Just for Men this morning on the beard.
Fred and Howard pointed out that the coloring was a little off. Fred said that some of it looks like spaghetti sauce on his chin. Howard said he can't believe that Ronnie cares so much about his hair color. Howard said that he is dating so he's trying to stay younger looking.
Lisa was laughing at Ronnie so Ronnie was asking her who she's dating. She told him to go right ahead and try to find out. Howard said that Sal was out there in the hall dying his beard. He was wearing a Ronnie mask and using ''Just For Old Men'' on the beard. Howard said that Sal has a bunch of masks.
Howard asked Ronnie when he dyed his beard. Ronnie said he got up and did it this morning around 3. He said that he has to do that about once a week or so. Howard told him to take it easy since he was kind of yelling at him about it all.
Ronnie told Artie to try the Just for Men out. Artie said he should because his beard is full of grey too. That led to Artie talking about the big parties he's going to have down at his shore house this summer. He said that he and Ronnie are going to party down there. Artie said that he needs some ''Just for Fat Men'' for his beard.
Ronnie said that Doug puts a rinse in his hair too. Doug said that's not true. He called Ronnie an old fart and said he doesn't have to dye his hair. Doug said that Ronnie looks like a pumpkin today.
Howard asked Lisa what else she had. Lisa said that she has good news about Artie's book. Ronnie said that everything with her is about Artie. He said that it's either Howard or Artie. That's the only news she does. Lisa said that Ronnie is just upset that he's not a news story. Ronnie said that she has issues and he doesn't want to talk about that stuff on the air. Ronnie is upset about some other things that she's done.
Lisa said that Artie's book is still on the NY Times Best seller list. She said that Artie got a royalty check the other day. Artie said he didn't want to say how much it was for though. Artie said that he doesn't want to just blurt it out because he knows he'll get phone calls from people begging him for money.
Artie then blurted out that it was a hundred grand. He said that was the best thing in the world. He said that he can't thank Howard enough for letting him come on the show and push that stuff. Howard said that he doesn't have to thank him for that. Artie said he gets emotional about that with Howard.
Howard said that Dan the Song Parody Man was on the phone asking if he still has to pay him. Howard said that Dan predicted a windfall of money but he didn't know that it was going to be Artie that got the windfall.
Artie said that there are people out there who think that they don't have to pay him back when he gets money like that. He said that they have no shame at all.
Artie said that his mother still gets his checks and he's in the middle of changing all of that around. He said he wanted to give his sister something nice and special so he asked her what she needed. He said his mother told him to just give her money. Artie said he wanted to give her something really nice but he had to ask his mother to write the check for him.
Howard asked Artie why he can't write his own check. Artie said he doesn't know. Howard said that he's afraid that he's going to spend it all. Artie said that he's been very conservative with his money and his mother takes very good care of it.
Howard said that if Artie takes care of his own money, he doesn't think that he'd ever do heroin again. Artie said that he opened an account for gambling right across the street from his apartment and he was screwing it up within months.
Howard said that the guys wanted him to put his sunglasses on and he didn't want to do that because they hurt his head. He said that the headphones push on them and hurt. Lexi told Howard that he looks better without them. Howard said he knows he looks better with the sunglasses but they hurt. Howard said that he hates shopping and he doesn't want to go get new ones.
Howard asked Lexi where all of her movies are. She said that they're all over the place, even in Tokyo. Howard asked her if she's done it all. She said that she still hasn't done anal or gang bangs. Howard read that she lost her virginity at 17. She said it was on her 17th birthday. By the time she was 18 she got into porn and she hasn't stopped since.
Howard asked her if she had sex with guys before she got into porn. She said that she was with about 12 guys before the porn. Robin sounded surprised by that. Lexi said that she was a prude and a band geek in school but then she started having sex and this is what happened.
Howard asked Lexi if her parents are okay with this. She said that they weren't too happy about it at first but they're okay with it now.
Howard asked Lexi what her specialty is. She said that she looks innocent but she's really not. She's a bad girl in the movies. She said that she's done black guys too but she did that in the beginning of her career. She said she doesn't do that now and she's trying to stretch out her career. Lexi said that she's saving the anal thing for a boyfriend and won't do that on film.
Howard said that they have two couples coming in to try and win a date with Lexi today. They aren't guaranteeing sex or anything, they're just setting up the date.
Howard had the first couple come in. He said that they're both attractive couples. The first couple was Trent and Dee Dee. Howard said that they wrote him a letter saying they wanted to spice up their life with another girl in their relationship. They've been married for 12 years. They're from Texas. Howard asked them if they have seen this Lexi Belle before. Trent said that they've seen some of her films. Dee Dee said that this sounds very interesting to her but it sounded like she had to be talked into that.
Trent said that it is a fantasy of his to have his wife with another woman. Howard kept saying that he wasn't guaranteeing anyone sex. Lexi said that she will. She said that she hasn't had sex in days and she forgot her toys so she needs it.
Howard asked Trent and Dee Dee what they expected. Dee Dee said she's not sure what to expect because she's never had a woman before. She said that she hasn't even kissed another woman. She also said that she doesn't masturbate so she's kind of a freak in that way. She didn't have any fantasies about this either. Dee Dee said that this was actually her idea though. She said it was a valentine's day gift to her husband.
Howard talked to the second couple, Michael and Melissa. They have never had another girl in their relationship but they are looking forward to winning this game. Howard asked if they do wild stuff sexually. Michael said that they do get wild with each other. Michael said that he's not really physical but she dictates to him what she wants him to do to her. He said that he gives her what she asks for. They've been married for 8 years. They say that they don't ''need'' this to make their marriage last. Michael said that they're fine the way they are.
Melissa said that she has been with another woman. Howard asked her about her boobs and got to see them real quick. Melissa went on to talk about this woman that she was with before. She said that it was a co-worker of Michael's and they were at a party one night and they ended up doing some stuff together.
Howard asked Melissa about how that all went down. Melissa said that they had bedrooms at the party and she and this other girl went down to one of the bedrooms after she asked if it was okay with him. She said that she hasn't done it since then though.
Michael said that they have two young kids so it's tough to do that kind of stuff often. Michael said that it's time to do it again so that's why they're there this morning.
Howard asked Melissa about what they did that day. Melissa said they took each other's bras off and then the other woman went down on her. She said that she really enjoyed it. She said that she wasn't sure how long it went on. Michael said that it lasted about 3 beers worth. He said that he was kind of worried about what would happen with her if she was with a woman.
Trent said that he's told Dee Dee that she can be with any woman as long as he's there. He said that it's cheating if she's not with him too. Howard checked out Melissa's body and said that she looked great after having two kids.
Howard asked Trent to say what his wife's most appealing part of her body was. Trent said that she has a great personality. He said that her best body part was probably her ass. Howard checked that out and it looked good to him.
Howard asked Melissa to tell Lexi what song she would sing to her to turn her on. Melissa said that she's not a very good singer. Howard told her to sing. Lexi asked for an Al Green song. Melissa said she would probably dance for Lexi instead.
Howard asked Dee Dee to talk about the size of her husband's penis. Lexi said she likes big penises. Dee Dee said that he's way big enough for her. She said that he must be 6 inches but she's not sure. She said that she's only been with one other guy so she doesn't have much to compare it to. She said that the only other guy was another husband and she had lost her virginity to that guy.
Howard asked Melissa about Michael's penis. She said that it's actually very big and she wants to share that with other people. She said that it's probably a good 9 inches.
Robin asked about the girth of the penises. Howard said that they're probably beer can sized. Howard asked the couples a few questions trying to help Lexi get a good idea of which couple she would want to be with.
Howard asked Trent and Dee Dee what kind of wild stuff they've done. They said that they're actually pretty traditional. They've done it outside and things like that.
Michael and Melissa said that they have done some wild stuff. Melissa said that they have had sex outside in their car after dinner while the babysitter is inside. They do that almost every time they go out to dinner. Howard said the wildest thing he does is play chess while Beth is in the other room.
Lexi wondered if the girls had pussy hair. Melissa said that she has a little hair. Dee Dee said that she has none. Lexi said that she stopped shaving a long time ago and she's pretty wild down there. Howard wanted to see her ''retro bush'' so Lexi showed him. Howard said that was a lot of hair down there. Artie seemed to be okay with that.
Howard asked the guys if they were okay with the hair Trent was fine with it. Michael was fine with it as well. Howard asked the girls if they were okay with it too. They were both fine with it.
Lexi asked the couples which of the people were the dominant ones in the relationships. Howard asked the guys if they were going to have to make Lexi boss them around or if they were going to be doing the bossing around. Trent demonstrated some bossing around but there was laughter after he did it. Dee Dee told her to do some stuff to and told her to run her tongue up and down her pussy and stuff. Lexi asked if she wanted her to lick her butthole too. Dee Dee said that she might like her to do that.
Howard asked Melissa and Michael to do that as well. They were telling her what to do and describing what they could do. Michael was ready to do her in the ass. Lexi said that she doesn't even know him and he was ready to take her ass virginity.
Howard asked Lexi who she liked and she ended up going with Trent and Dee Dee. She said that she can get a couple like Melissa and Michael anytime she wants. She wanted the shy couple more. She said that she may have to dominate them since they weren't really into that stuff.
Howard had Michael and Melissa go over to meet Lexi since she wasn't able to see them through the whole game. Melissa asked for a kiss and Lexi gave her one. Artie said ''holy shit!'' when he saw that. Howard asked Lexi if she was disappointed. She said that she was kind of upset because she loves dimples.
Trent and Dee Dee came out next and met Lexi. Lexi gave Dee Dee a kiss but Dee Dee seemed to be a little scared. Lexi said that she's going to have to force her tongue down her throat. Howard said that she's going to have to dominate the two of them.
Howard wrapped up with everyone and said that Trent and Dee Dee also won $5,000 courtesy of Porn.com. He also gave the other couple a $500 prize since they didn't win.
Gary came in and said that they had 10 minutes before 50 Cent got there so maybe they could do something else. He said that Melissa wanted to ride the Sybian. Lexi said that she wanted to see her squirt. Howard had Melissa get on the Sybian and said that this was an exciting day.
Howard said that Gary put on his welder's mask and told Melissa not to fake it. Lexi was going to touch her through the whole thing to help out. Artie said that she was being a little rough with her already and they hadn't even turned the thing on.
Gary started out with about 20 percent. Howard had him jack it up a little more. Melissa was doing her thing and moaning a little bit. She said that it was almost like she had won. Artie said that they've all won. Melissa was done in about 30 seconds. She had finished and surprised everyone at how quick it happened. Howard wrapped up with everyone a short time later and went to break.
Howard came back and said that 50 Cent was there. Howard said he read that he earned $150 million last year alone.
50 Cent came in and said he missed the porn star. Howard said that he gets so much pussy he didn't think that he'd care about stuff like that. 50 talked about how he can always check out people like that.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked 50 to take his shirt off on the show because that's what she'd like to see on the TV show. Howard said they would never ask him to do that but the ladies must like that kind of stuff. 50 said that he's packing about a 4-pack right now so he's not at a 6 or 8 pack.
Howard said that 50 must be an official sex symbol if women are asking to see him with his shirt off like that.
Howard asked 50 about banging famous women but 50 said that he's still not doing that. He said that he's still friendly with Madonna but she's never offered herself to him. Howard asked if he would do that if she offered. 50 said that he would do it for all mankind of she made the offer.
Howard asked 50 about the story they were discussing earlier about him punching some guy out on the set of a movie. Howard said that the name of the movie was ''Righteous Kill.'' 50 said that he didn't have any issues on the set of that movie. Howard said that he read that there was a white actor that got punched out. 50 said that story was made up and he didn't hit anyone. 50 said he remembers hearing the rumor but the story just wasn't true.
Howard asked 50 if it was true that his new album, ''Before I Self Destruct,'' was inspired by Britney Spears. He said that it was more about not wanting to self destruct himself like people like Britney have.
Howard said that 50 made like $150 million last year. He said that he read that 50 doesn't believe that Jay-Z is worth what he claims to be worth either. Howard asked him if he'd like to have a really famous wife that would help him generate a ton of money like Jay-Z and Beyonce. 50 said that it doesn't hurt to have that going on.
Howard asked 50 if it was true that he laughed when he heard about Chris Brown beating up Rihanna. 50 said that he didn't know all of the details at first but he did find it funny. He said that he didn't know what extent that had gone to until he saw the pictures. He said that the beating she took wasn't funny.
Howard asked 50 what he thinks is going on with Chris. 50 said that he was as clean cut as you come until this happened. 50 said that he's the kind of guy you'd expect to do something like that, not Chris Brown. Howard asked if he thinks that his career is over now. 50 said that he will never get back that clean cut perception.
Howard asked 50 about the mother of his baby and how she sued him for a ton of money. 50 said that he won the case and didn't have to give up as much money as she wanted. He said that they should have just adjusted the amount of money that he was paying. He said that he has to pay $84,000 a year in child support and a 12 year old kid doesn't need more than that. 50 said that people want to get what they can and there is no relationship there anymore. 50 said that he was paying $500,000 a year before this woman tried to sue him. He said that she sued for more and ended up getting less.
Howard said that when you earn a lot of money a lot of people want a piece of it. It's tough when that happens. 50 said that he has to have a driver go and pick the kid up because he and the mother don't really get along. He said that they're not even friends anymore. 50 said that they got to the point where it was completely about money so he has no interest in her anymore. Howard asked 50 if he's got anyone serious in his life. 50 said that he doesn't have anyone right now.
Howard asked 50 about doing the movie with Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. 50 said that he and De Niro had worked together before and it was great working with him and Sharon Stone too. 50 told Howard that Sharon still looks good even at her age.
Howard said that 50 is so famous and big that he performed at a birthday party for Jim Carrey. 50 said that they were all out at this film festival and he went to his party to perform. Howard asked if Jenny McCarthy was still with him. He said she was. He also talked about some of the other people that were at the party like Chris Rock, Wesley Snipes and a few others. Howard was surprised that Snipes wasn't in jail. 50 said that he says he's not going to jail.
Howard asked 50 about being at war with Foxy Brown. 50 said that he's not at war with her. Howard read a quote from her where she said that she was going to handle him ''Brooklyn style'' if 50 didn't retract a statement he made about her in a song. 50 said that he hasn't seen her in a long time and he thinks that she was just saying that to get some notice. He said that stuff doesn't matter to him now.
Howard said that 50 is into this video game thing now. Howard said the game is ''50 Cent: Blood on the Sand '' and it's rated Mature. Howard asked him if he plays the game himself. 50 said that it came out last night and he just started playing.
50 talked about going over to Iraq to perform for the troops and how intense that was. He said that they told him that he could die over there when he got on a plane to fly out. He said that was crazy stuff.
Howard asked 50 about this movie he did with De Niro and found out that he went out and shot with the New York City cops. 50 said that they had to learn how to shoot like a police officer since he was playing a cop in the movie. Howard said that he's got a good life going on.
Howard said that he'd like to know who 50 is banging. 50 said that Howard never tells him anything so he has no reason to tell him. 50 was also asking Artie why he wasn't talking because he sees him talking on the TV show all the time. Artie said he was actually choking on something and had to walk out of the studio at one point. Artie said that he figured that Howard and 50 were having a discussion and he was just respecting him like he would with Paul McCartney.
Howard asked 50 if he's still involved in the Vitamin Water thing. 50 said that he is but changed the subject to Eminem and said that his album just came out.
50 said that he's got a web site that he just put out and he's been keeping busy with that. The site is ThisIs50.com. Howard asked him about his mansion that he bought from Mike Tyson. 50 said he can't get rid of that place. He said that he hasn't been able to sell it. Howard said he wanted to go up there and party with him. 50 told him to come up with the show and do it up there one time.
Howard and Artie told 50 about Flo Rida coming in and making it rain money in the studio one time. Howard said that 50 is doing well and that's all they care about. Howard gave him some plugs for this new video game he's got out now. He said he may have to try it out himself.
Howard said that 50 has grown a lot over the years. 50 said that he's down to 195 pounds and he's really not in that good of shape right now. He said he'd take that compliment from Howard though.
Howard said that he's rooting for 50 and he's on his side. Artie said that they're on Team 50 cent. Howard said that Eminem hasn't come on the show in like 10 years. Howard said that he's not even showing up to his own channel there at SIRIUS.
Howard said that he had a cover of one of 50's songs that Elephant Boy did. He played that song and it was Elephant Boy singing ''In Da Club.'' 50 said that was the first time he heard that cover. Howard said that he sounds Korean but he's actually not.
Howard asked 50 where he grew up. 50 said that he grew up in Queens. Howard asked him if he was angry at the Koreans like some people are. 50 said that he wasn't an angry person. He said that he had a hard time growing up but he wasn't angry like that. Howard wondered why he got shot so many times because he seems to be such a nice guy. 50 said that's what he was thinking at the time.
Howard asked what it feels like to be shot. 50 said that you don't even feel the bullets going in. He said that the pain comes when the doctor tells you that you're going to be alright. 50 said that he got hit in the face with one bullet and lost some teeth in the back of his mouth. 50 said that you don't feel the pain until after the bullet has gone through. 50 said that the guy who shot him ended up dying a couple of weeks later.
Howard asked why the guy did it. 50 said that guy got paid. 50 said that he had a lot of attention on the streets at the time and he may have been selling some cocaine and stuff like that. 50 said that he doesn't do drugs and he doesn't even smoke weed. 50 said that he's got people around him who have had problems but he doesn't have those problems himself.
50 said that there was a conflict back when he got shot. He said that he was getting big in the music business and this other guy wanted a shot in the business and he didn't want him to be successful. 50 said that after the fact the other guy faded to black. 50 said that the other guy was Ja Rule. Robin said that it's amazing that music can make people go out and shoot other people. 50 said that it's not the music that shoots people, it's people who shoot people.
Howard asked 50 more about the shooting. 50 said that he was in a car at the time of the shooting and he ended up going to the hospital to get the bullets removed. He said that there were never any arrests made in the case either. 50 said that they don't snitch on each other no matter what. He said that they take things into their own hands.
Howard asked 50 what the cops did after the shooting and what he said to them. 50 said that he'd just tell them that it happened so fast he didn't know what happened. Then karma took over and the other guy ended up dead.
Howard gave 50 some more plugs and 50 said that he'll be back on this summer when his new album comes out. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that they're saying that so many pot heads are upset with Kelloggs for dumping Michael Phelps that they're going to boycott the company. It was so successful that it ripped into their business big time. Howard said that it was ripping into them more than the peanut butter thing did with the peanut butter industry.
Howard said that he's glad to see that because it might be illegal but there are a lot of people out there who smoke pot and there are a lot of hypocrites out there. Robin said that she was watching a show about Tommy Chong going to jail for selling bongs and it's so ridiculous that they did that to him and we all sat and watched.
Howard said that they're saying that if they made marijuana legal tomorrow and taxed it, they could make up for the deficit. Howard said Jason would like to open up a pot store if it was legal. He said that he's way into the stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the interview with 50 Cent was really good. Howard thanked him for that as the guy's phone was cutting out.
Howard said Gary was listening to the audio book for Joe Torre's book and there was a clip where he talks about a trainer rubbing lineament on Roger Clemens whole body, including his balls. Howard said that's very gay and he's surprised that they didn't make a bigger deal out of that story. He said that no one even noticed that.
Steve said that Janks was also talking about being evicted but the landlord's daughter said she knows nothing about that. Howard said he hopes that Janks is okay and he's not into anything too bad. Artie said that he never says that he's going to meetings and stuff and he thinks that Janks was telling the truth about going to rehab. He believes him. Artie said that he's going to have to deal with a lot of life issues now and he's not sure where he's going to get the money for drugs if he can't get off of them.
Steve said that Siobhan is offering to perform a burlesque show for one of the bars that Janks allegedly ripped off. She would want to be paid up front too though.
Steve said that it's just 2 days before Eric the Midget's appearance at a Sacramento Kings game and he's only sold like 8 tickets so far. Johnny Fratto has also come out and said that he's been avoiding Eric for a couple of weeks now and has even unplugged his phone at night so he won't wake the baby again. Steve said that Johnny doesn't know what Eric is talking about when he blames Howard for keeping him from talking to Eric.
Steve also said that in 2004 Clear channel radio took Howard off the air and suspended him for a day. Jon Hein came in and gave his Wrap Up Show preview after that. They spent a little time talking about Lexi Belle and about Artie choking during the 50 Cent interview. Artie said that he was choking on the pita bread in the sandwich he was eating at the time. He said that it was lodged in his throat.
Howard said that they get great breakfasts there but the pita bread is stale sometimes. Howard said that the food is really good but that pita is like a Frisbee sometimes. He threw his pita to Jon Hein and had him toss it back. They tossed it all over the studio for a couple of minutes. Jon kept missing it when they'd throw it to him. Howard threw it to Benjy to make him feel included. Howard said that he actually caught it. He was surprised by that.
Howard asked Artie if he was high today. Artie said that he has been sober since Christmas Day. He said he was tired today but he didn't need to take a nap. He said that he was tire, but not that tired. Artie said he felt great the past couple of days and he's very happy for some reason. He's not sure why. He said that the personal issues he had have resolved itself and he's feeling really good. Howard said that he'd love to hear about that.
Artie was having a tough time speaking so Howard told him that he really should just lay down and take a nap. Artie told him he really doesn't need to take one. Jon ran through the rest of his list and finished up with that.
Howard read some e-mail about Janessa Brazil's appearance yesterday. The fans seemed to really like her on the show. Howard read some mail about guys jerking off to her and people saying that it was nice that she wasn't asking for plugs and stuff when she was on.
Robin read some more news about Fabulous and that 500 pounds of weed they caught him with. While she was talking about that Howard said he was reading about some new clothes that were out called ''Niggerwear'' that just came out down in Puerto Rico.
Robin read some news about Charles Barkley going to jail. She read about what kind of conditions he'll be under there. He's going in for driving under the influence in Arizona. He's only going to be in for 5 days though.
Robin read a story about a 58 year old man who stabbed his teenage son after he refused to remove his hat at church. The guy stabbed the kid and then ran away.
Robin had a story about a dentist who was charged with groping patients. She said that the guy is claiming that he was trying to treat them for a medical condition, over their shirts.
Howard said that Sal's wife has a picture of herself kissing some other guy and she looks like she's in ecstasy. He said that the guy is holding her leg up in a strange way and it's definitely not Sal. Sal came in and said that it was his wife. He said that the guy was his buddy Louie. He said that he works over at Caroline's. Sal said that he bit this other chick in the ass and his wife got back at him by doing this picture. Sal said that it was his fault.
Howard played some of the call that Sal made to this Swap and Shop radio show and asked about selling Auschwitz gold teeth. He said he would play the whole call tomorrow. He just wanted to give a quick preview. IN the clip the host of the Tradio Show took the call from Sal who was ''Jack Deveiny.'' Sal told the guy about the teeth that he had from Auschwitz and his grandfather holding the jar at the camps. Sal was hoping to get $75-100. He also had some of Milton Bearle's urine. Then Sal gave out his phone number which was 800-922-WINE which is Jackie's joke line.
Howard said that after Sal called Richard tried calling in and doing something but he ended up laughing his ass off and got hung up on. Richard said that he had a list of things that his grandson wanted to sell. He was doing his woman voice and said that her grandson was trying to sell a motorcycle. He kept crumpling paper like he was looking for the information. Richard said he was trying to sell a hair drier as well. He continued to crumple the paper. Then he said that he had a walker to sell and then he started to laugh. Richard said that it was tough to part with it and just broke down laughing so hard that they hung up on him.
Howard said that Richard does that female voice but no one ever falls for it. Howard said that he's looking for an easy gig in radio like that host had. He said that seems like a good gig to just let people give out information on crap they're selling. Howard did an impression of that guy's voice and said he likes him. He said that even that job might be too much work for him. He said he needs to find a gig where he doesn't have to work at all.
Howard said that they might have Gary the Retard come down to play a Deal or No Deal game with some hot chicks with suitcases. He said they'd put junk in the suitcases instead of big money. He said they're working on that bit.
Robin said that Andy Richter is rejoining Conan when he takes over the Tonight Show. Howard said that Andy must feel like shit because none of his shows took off. Howard said that he bets that it's a limited run. Robin said that Andy is going to be back on the couch like he was on Conan's show. Artie said it doesn't make much sense and he's not sure what Conan is doing. He said that's really odd. Howard said he's happy for Andy. At least he has a gig now.
Robin read some news about Chris Brown trying to get his stuff together after his fight with Rihanna. Robin said that they're saying that Rihanna has an attitude too so that's part of their problem. She apparently threw Brown's Lamborghini keys down the street before they fought. Fred threw in some Three Stooges audio as they were talking about that.
Robin read some news about President Obama's speech last night. She had some audio from that speech and talked about some of the things he was talking about.
Howard talked about seeing a senator talking about Obama painting such doom and gloom instead of saying that they should be talking about things getting better. He said that they were right about that and Obama came out and said that things will get better eventually.
Robin had some news about the senate seat from Minnesota still not being settled. They also have some things going on in Illinois with the senators there.
Robin read a story about the NY Post cartoon where they portrayed Obama as a monkey. Al Sharpton is taking the issue to Washington DC and complaining about it. He's not happy about that and he's trying to get something done about Rupert Murdoch controlling so much of the industry. Howard wondered where his fans are when they make him look like a chicken. Howard said that he's actually not against this cartoon because they've shown previous presidents in the same way. Bush was even shown as a monkey.
Robin read that Liz Smith is being dropped from the NY Daily News. She's going to take her column to the web now. Howard said he feels bad for her.
Robin read about the crew of the plane that landed in the Hudson going to Capitol Hill yesterday for the President's speech. She had some audio of Captain Sully making a speech in front of Congress. Howard said they have such better jobs than Congress. He said they got to see naked chicks sitting on the Sybian today.
Robin asked Artie if he knows what today was Artie didn't know. Robin said that it's Ash Wednesday. She figured that Artie would know about that. She read some news about that and had some audio of a guy talking about where the ashes come from and what they mean.
Robin read a story about some people who were shot in a Mardi Gras parade. She said that 9 people were shot including one toddler.
Robin read a story about Tiger Woods going back to golf. She said that the audience drops off when he's not around to play. Robin had Howard play some audio of Tiger talking about his practicing and how he's getting back into things.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Robin if she banged more black guys or more white guys in her life. Robin said that it was black. Howard had predicted she would say blacks before she answered. Howard took another one from a guy who asked how Howard met Ralph. Howard had predicted ''in a gay bath house'' before he picked up on that caller. Howard said he actually met Ralph on the radio show.
Robin read some blind items from the paper about a couple of stars who were snorting cocaine and smoking weed. Howard said he didn't even want to guess on the coke story but he guessed that the weed smoker was Seth Rogen.
Robin said that Kim Kardashian made a mistake when she had a picture of her pet chimp Suzy posted on her site the same week the other chip ripped someone's face off. Kim has apologized for posting it and didn't mean to offend anyone. Howard ended the show a short time later, right around 10:35am.
Will came in and said that they had a ton of entries for the contest and they went through like 30 or 40 of them to pick out the two. Will said that they're working with LA Direct models and they send over nothing but hot chicks for stuff like this.
Jon asked the guys what they think it's going to take to get Dee Dee to get into the game. Will said that he heard that she's been stalling so he's not sure what they're going to end up doing. They should find out tomorrow when they call in to give them an update. Will said that he thinks that the whole thing might be too much for Dee Dee and she may not go through with it.
Gary said that the late Kenneth Keith Kallenbach did a porn movie one time and he was done in about 11 seconds so they had to wait and do another cut. He said that they sent him the outtake's so he saw what he had to go through. It's not as easy to do a porn thing like that.
Jon said that the other couple was really into trying to get this chick and they claimed that they're struggling to find others to do stuff like that. Benjy said that he doesn't believe them because there are so many people out there willing to do it. Benjy said that it's pretty easy to find people like that. Gary said that Benjy is on crazy web sites so he doesn't know that. Benjy said that if they really wanted to find it, they could.
Benjy said that he thinks that about 10 percent of couples have had threesomes. He said that he thinks that every guy out there wants it to happen though.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Will he's doing a great job booking people like that. He said that he's glad that they're going back to doing stuff like that. Gary said that he may have been entertained by that but not everyone was. He said that they have to keep that in mind.
The caller asked Gary if he thinks that his wife and Howard's wife have had any affect on the show. Gary said that he thinks that the amount Howard participates may have been affected but not how much they have it on the show. Will said that Howard is probably satisfied at home and he may not need to do that stuff as much on the show now.
The caller asked the guys at what point they step back and give the wack packers that they've got to get their shit together. He said that High Pitch, Janks and Double A are a few that he was thinking of. Gary said that he's never had that conversation with anyone. He said that he's never told them to quit the shit, other than High Pitch Eric. He said that he's not at full mental capacity though. Gary said that all he can do is not book them on the show.
Will said that they can threaten to do that to them and that's about all they can do. Gary said that Howard might not enjoy it and it might make people less desirable to the show.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he's been trying to get a threesome going for the past 10 years and it just doesn't happen. He said that he's asked 2 or 3 girls a week trying to make that happen and it doesn't work. He said he doesn't go on the web sites though. He said he'll go up to people out at restaurants, bars and convenience stores.
Benjy suggested that the guy just let the women be with his wife alone first. The guy said that they've tried that and things just don't work out. Gary said that Benjy goes on a pretty common web site that rhymes with ''haigs hist'' and you can find anything you're looking for. Benjy suggested another one that rhymed with ''halt head hinder.''
Ronnie said that he's upset with JD too because he goes behind his back talking about him all the time. JD said that it's not always him. He said that everyone there does that stuff.
Ronnie said that Doug Goodstein is also coloring his hair and they should be able to see it if they look at him on a Thursday and then on the following Monday.
Jon asked Ronnie what made him want to color his beard. Ronnie said that Howard actually suggested it so he tried it. He didn't get what the big deal was.
Gary told Ronnie that maybe he should do it on a Sunday night instead of a Wednesday morning. JD said that there was probably a NASCAR race on Sunday so he wasn't able to do it. Ronnie said that he's pretty sure that Lisa also colors her ''old lady hair.''
Doug Goodstein came in and said that he has no reason to color his hair and went off on Ronnie about that. Ronnie said that he has to be coloring his hair. Doug said he doesn't have to lie about that. He said his wife would even tell him that he's not doing it. Doug said he doesn't even know what a rinse is.
JD asked Ronnie why he cares about Doug's hair. Ronnie told him to shut up. JD said that he wants an apology from Ronnie for threatening to kick his ass over that stuff. He said that he's out of line with that. Ronnie said that he has nothing to say except to tell JD to go fuck himself.
Jon asked Ronnie if he was trying to look younger. Ronnie said that this isn't the first time he's done this and he doesn't get why they're all getting on him about this.
Gary said that he would want to know if his breath was bad but he's not sure if Howard is smelling something for real or not. He said that Howard has a really strong sense of smell and maybe he is smelling something but he doesn't hear anything from anyone else.
Jon asked Will about the things Howard was saying about Gary interrupting him in the meetings. Will said that he doesn't care either way. Gary said he should stop and let Will finish what he's saying.
Will said that Gary has smelled Gary's breath in the past but nothing lately. Jason said that he thinks that Howard is smelling a phantom bad breath that doesn't even exist anymore. Will said that it's funny that Howard gets those smells in a room full of fat, smelly guys and thinks that it's Gary's breath. Will said that it's actually probably Dan the Song Parody Man's smelly beard.
Benjy said that he has smelled things at times there. He said that everyone smells at some point. Jon asked the rest of the guys if they have smelled Gary's breath at all. Jon said that JD had a breath problem in the past but he's taken care of that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that the girl who won the contest today is going to back out of doing anything. He said that she didn't seem into it and it was all her husband. Will said that things are slow right now but they're going to wait until the bars open and do some drinking. He said he hopes that they come back with some good stories tomorrow.
Another caller said that he knows why Ronnie is mad at Lisa G for a story she did about Ronnie not wearing condoms. Ronnie said that's true. He said that she comes up with these questions and if you don't answer, she comes up with her own scenario for it. Ronnie said that's not what he's upset with Lisa about though. He won't say what it is either.
Another caller said that he thinks that they do this Sybian thing just for Howard TV and it seems like they're doing it just about every day now. Gary said that they don't do it every day and if they have a hot chick in there who wants to do it, they're not going to stop her. Gary said that the chick they had on today was interesting and he thought it was interesting to listen to.
Jon asked JD about the girl they had on yesterday and if he was hitting on her. JD said that he did try to get her number. He had Teddy ask her for the number though. JD said that she has a boyfriend anyway. JD said that he wasn't expecting anything from it.
Teddy said that he had handed her the card with JD's cell number on it and she giggled. Gary asked JD if he really had a card because he didn't remember authorizing that. JD said that he has one and even Steve Brandano had one before he did. Gary sounded surprised by all of that.
Another caller said that Ronnie answered Lisa G about not using condoms and he wasn't telling the story right. Ronnie said he's admitted it before and it's no big deal.
Another caller said that Ronnie might be a closet fag. He said he gets all upset about everything and he's dying his hair all the time. Ronnie was goofing on the way the guy was speaking and his impression wasn't all that close. Gary told Ronnie that the guy wasn't French.
Another caller said that he had a chick hitting on him telling him that she wanted to give him a blow job in front of this other guy. The guy was a friend of his and they ended up tag teaming her. He said that the worst part was when his friend's penis rubbed up against his leg. The guy said that the guy ended up freaking out afterward and ended up curled up in the fetal position.
Jon asked the guys if they have ever had a threesome. Gary said no. Will said that he may have. Then he said that it may have been with another guy in the room. He said that they ended up breaking it off early. Will didn't want to talk about it. Will said he was only like 16 or 17 years old at the time.
Benjy said he's had some multiple girl situations and some threesome with other guys in the room. Gary said he'd love to see pictures of the girls that he's been with.
Ronnie said that he was with two girls and another guy one time. He was going to tell the story but JD interrupted him so he got all flustered and pissed off at him. Ronnie said that he and the other guy were switching girls and rooms but they weren't in the same room at the same time. Gary said that didn't count then.
Jon asked JD if he got anything. JD said he didn't but then Gary reminded him of the time he went on vacation and had some girls giving him a hand job. JD said that was three girls giving him a hand job but that doesn't count.
Ronnie mentioned that one of the girls he was with that time passed out. Ronnie said that she was in the room so it counts. Jon asked him how he defines a threesome. Ronnie said that it's three people in the same bed.
Scott the Engineer came in and said that he's had a twosome, threesome, and a foursome. Gary said that he knew some of the stories so he could back him up on that. Scott said that he's had a few experiences like that. He said that he's never asked his current wife to do that stuff though. He said that stuff all took place many years ago. He said that it was back in the 70s when times were different.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that they've had a hell of a run lately with Sybian rides. That led to the guys talking about today's Sybian ride. Gary said that she wasn't very noisy so they weren't even sure when she was done.
Will said that he was way into that Lexi chick today. He said that he and DePace were arguing about her being hot or not. They also talked about her ''retro bush'' what they thought about that.
The caller said that he had a song parody about Gary's breath that he sang for them real quick. Gary told him to get back to his truck after hearing that.
Another caller asked Jon if he's ever had multiple girls blowing him. Jon said that he hasn't. He said that he had never had a threesome before and never had more than one chick blowing him.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked who has the baddest breath in the office. JD said he didn't know and then said that he doesn't get that close to people. He said that Will gets in his face sometimes though so he kind of smells. Teddy didn't have an answer. Gary said that he didn't really have an answer either. He said that he doesn't think about anyone's breath. The caller asked if any guests have had bad breath. Gary said that he's never had an issue. He said that one time Robin Williams smelled like B.O. but didn't have bad breath. He said that was way back in 1987 though.
Another caller asked for an update on JD and the girl he banged recently. JD said that he's not dating that chick, he's still talking to her though. JD said that he's not sure if he should talk about them hooking up or not. He said that she wasn't too happy about it the last time. JD said that he didn't want to say. They had to break after that.
Ralph asked JD if he really thinks that he has a shot with that chick from yesterday. JD said that everyone was telling him to get her number so he tried. He said that it's just getting a number and it can't hurt. Benjy said that it can't hurt to try because it gives him some practice. Ralph said he didn't do it like a man, he had Teddy do it.
Gary said that Ralph is right in a way because if you don't make the effort then it may not work. JD said that he doesn't have to listen to Ralph's bullshit. He told Ralph to go back to Vegas and do whatever it is that he does.
Jon asked Gary who he thinks has gotten laid more recently Ralph or JD. Gary said that it's probably Ralph. He said that they had an intern in the room that he wanted to ask about the whole asking out thing. He asked the intern if she would think it was juvenile to have another guy ask her out. She said that she would think that it was juvenile.
Jon said that Artie does the same thing though. Ralph said that Artie is a celebrity so it's different. JD said that he knows that it's creepy and he doesn't have to put up with this shit. Ralph said that he was just giving him some advice and he was lashing out at him.
Ralph said that JD probably feels bad because that girl will never call him. JD said that she has a boyfriend anyway. He didn't seem upset. He said that he had to get out of there, he was almost home earlier and then he got stuck in there.
Ralph wanted to ask Will about the threesome and how that got broken up. Jon said he's pretty sure he didn't want to talk about that but he was gone anyway so it didn't matter.
Ralph said that he just doesn't like all of that nonsense. He said that there's no reason not to call the police about the shooting but they all don't speak to the cops. Jon put Ralph on hold since he didn't hear the interview.
Jon brought up 50's child support issues and played some audio of him talking about that. They spent a short time discussing that and then brought up Artie choking on the food during that interview. Jon said that Artie was coughing for a good few minutes out in the hall. Jon said that Howard won't interrupt an interview for anything and he just kept going as Artie was dying out in the hall.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he used to agree with Ralph about 50 being a thug but he changed his mind completely. He said he sounded smart today and he liked the interview. Gary said that he's very likeable even though he's been shot 9 times. Benjy said that guys like that can be nice and still be a thug. Gary said he doesn't think that he's leading the same life he was years ago so there's no reason not to like him.
Another caller said that he's tired of the rappers being on the show and he'd like them to not have them on anymore. The guy said that it's all a bunch of bullshit that they talk about. The guy said that it's so tired. Gary said that he doesn't know that it's all bullshit and the charts are full of stars like 50 Cent. He said that 50 is a huge celebrity. Gary said that would be like turning down Justin Timberlake and he wouldn't turn him down. The caller said that what bothers him is the way they all front and don't actually have the money that they claim to have.
The caller thought that he seemed like he was on pain killers or something and maybe he fell asleep with food in his mouth. Benjy said that Artie was actively eating and he wasn't falling asleep when he started to choke. The caller said that they'll eventually find out when Artie decides to come clean in 2 weeks.
Jon and Gary talked about Artie's checks and how his mother is still handling his finances. Jon said that it will be a big jump for Artie to make to let someone else take care of his money. Gary said that it would be more of his mother asking him about every expense and maybe suggesting that he give money to certain people.
Gary said that he was talking to Artie about the big royalty check and how people think that it just fell into his lap. Gary said that it doesn't just all into his lap, Artie had to work hard for that money. He said he feels bad that Artie is a soft touch and people know that. They take money from him and don't have any intention of returning it to him.
Jon and Gary talked about how people think that Artie doesn't need the money back after they've borrowed it just because he has a lot of money. Jon said he hates that and he thinks that people should pay Artie back no matter how much they can afford to pay. He said that even 10 bucks at a time would be good to pay him back.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Artie really is hard working and people shouldn't be hitting him up for money. He said that Artie should be able to fall asleep at work after working so hard on the weekends. Gary said that's a retarded thing to say because Artie has to work on the show to get those gigs that he's working on the weekends.
Benjy asked Jon about the book deal Artie has and how that all works. Jon said that they give you an advance and then you may royalties on the books that you sell over the initial printing. Jon said that Artie has been on the Best Seller list for 15 weeks and that's just amazing. He said that everyone must be happy about the way things are going so far. Jon said that the paperback isn't even out yet and that will sell even more books when that comes out.
Jon said that the book companies want to put the hard covers out first because the book companies make a lot more on them.
The guys talked about Artie's web site and the cock rings that are being sold on there. They spent a short time on that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to tell Gary to pick up some tissues on his way home from work because the Phillies are going to romp on the Mets this season. Gary said that it's difficult for a team to repeat so he's not too worried at this point. They spent a minute or two on baseball before they had to end the show.
Howard started off the show talking about how busy the show was going to be today. They have a ''Who Wants a Threesome'' update. He said Gary was telling him that the woman in the threesome, Dee Dee, was very nervous and seemed like she might back out. Robin said that she did seem very nervous yesterday and she told him it looked kind of odd.
Howard said that they'll also find the biggest black Superfan today. They had a song parody ready for that. Howard said that they have Rosie O'Donnell coming in to promote her new special on the Lifetime channel.
Robin said she saw Rosie on some interview show and she looked like she might be doing some kind of tanning thing. Robin thought she looked kind of orange. Howard said that she is living down in Miami now so maybe it's a real tan.
Howard said that he's been down to Miami and he just doesn't think that's the place he'd want to live. There's a lot going on down there. Howard said that the real estate people down there will tell you where every star lives. He said that they know every celebrity thing down there and he knows that he'd be in that spiel if he lived down there.
Howard said that he was thinking about buying something down there because it's so cold up there in New York. Howard said the houses down there are very cheap. He said he loves looking at houses too so he has gone and done that.
Artie said that he was thinking about buying a condo down in Florida too. Howard said that you realize that you'll never get down there. Artie said that they do all of the work for you and you have to do nothing. He said that they'll even rent it out for you. Howard said that you eventually find out that they only rent it out like 3 times a year.
Howard said he always bums out when he's down there anyway. He said that the paparazzi is always there to photograph you and he's not in very good shape. Howard was talking about how the real estate people will tell you about the many homes that Lenny Kravtiz has had down there too.
Gary came in and said that he was going around with a real estate broker a few years ago and they went to see a house and she told him that it was Cloris Leachman's sister's house. Gary didn't care that it was though. Gary said that the woman had left stuff out with the Leachman name on it so the visitors would see it. He said it was very odd.
Howard said that he's not even sure why they got on that subject. He said that Kidd Chris is also coming in for the Gossip Game but Mike canceled the Gossip Game so they'll just have Chris sit in for the news.
Howard said that he talks to Chris and he tells him about some weird stuff in the industry that's going on. He was told about this ''Bit Board'' where radio guys post their bits for people to listen to. Howard said he has no desire to post his own stuff there or take any of them to use on the show.
Robin said that Rosie O'Donnell seems to still be friendly with Madonna so maybe she can get her on the show. Howard said he really doesn't care about that and he's not looking to get her on.
Howard said that Eric the Midget had a show last night on JFSC.tv and he ended up kicking some kid off for saying ''Ack, Ack'' to him. Howard played that clip and in it you hear Eric and his co-hosts talking about the Idol show and then Eric telling this guy Joe that he doesn't make that ''Ack, Ack'' sound. Fred played the ''Ack, Ack'' clip but Howard told him that he now has Eric saying ''Ack, Ack'' so they can actually play him saying it.
Howard had Eric on the phone so he told Eric that he does say ''Ack, Ack.'' Eric said that he was just saying what the fucker typed. Howard kept playing Eric's ''Ack, Ack'' clip but Eric said that he doesn't say that. He said that people just say that to make fun of him.
Howard asked Eric how many people are in the room with him at any one time. Eric said it might be 20 or more. He kicks out every one that says ''Ack, Ack.'' Eric also kicks people out for using a large font. Eric said that's right. Howard asked him why he does that. Eric said that it's considered yelling in computer terms. Howard asked Eric if he yells in caps. Eric said that he does that sometimes. Eric said that they average 50-1500 people in the room at any one time.
Howard had Johnny Fratto on the line too so he asked him why he's not talking to Eric. Howard didn't want the blame put on him so he asked Johnny to tell Eric that. Johnny said that Eric likes to talk to his son Joe who is only 6 years old. He said that he has nothing to say to him and he's not sure why he still likes talking to him.
Howard asked Eric why that is. Eric said he doesn't know why he likes to do that. He said that the kids at school asked Joe if his father knows Eric the Midget and Joe corrected him and said it was Eric the Actor. Eric said that the kid likes him so he talks to him on the phone. Johnny said that they do talk about a lot of stuff. He doesn't know what it is though.
Johnny said that he's going to be friends with Eric but Eric is kind of upset with him over something. Johnny said that he did something terrible last night. Eric said that Johnny uses Ambien and he tried to call him last night but he ended up calling his parents at 5:30 in the morning accidentally. Howard said that Johnny must have done that to him on purpose. Johnny said that he wasn't going to say that didn't occur to him.
Eric said that Johnny called the lake house that he used to live at and he wasn't there at all. Robin said that Eric has woken Johnny up early in the morning so he was just getting back at him.
Howard asked Johnny why he's so involved with Eric. Johnny said that he's not even sure. He said that he doesn't need Eric to get on the show or anything. He said he got involved in the beginning to help out with the flying with balloons stuff.
Howard said that Johnny also owns the JFSC.tv thing. Robin said that Johnny somehow got stuck with Eric trying to help them out.
Johnny said that he told Eric that his lifestyle was going to have to change after the baby came. Johnny told Howard not to have any kids because it's really a nightmare. Howard said that he's not going to have any. He said he just went driving with his youngest daughter yesterday and it was kind of scary. He said that she got him up and down the driveway and a couple of streets. He said it was tough.
Eric said that both of his co-hosts have gotten late night calls from Johnny too. He said that it goes both ways. Eric said that one of the people he calls is on the East Coast. Artie was saying goodbye to Eric in the middle of that. Howard asked him to let Eric finish. Howard asked Johnny why he calls these people out on the East Coast. Johnny said that he doesn't call them, he calls their parents.
Howard let Johnny and Eric go a short time later. Fred was playing some of the edited together audio clips of Eric calling himself different names.
Howard said the fans really liked her not asking for plugs and stuff too. The caller asked Howard if he goes home to Beth and thinks about a girl like that. Howard said that he's in a really good place with Beth and he was just too tired to even have sex with her this week. This morning she was leaving to go on a trip and he didn't want her to leave. He said that he was telling her that he didn't want her to go and made her feel bad. Howard said that he thinks that making someone feel bad is love. Robin said that's so wrong.
Howard said that when Beth is actually gone he will think about that Janessa chick. He said that if Beth was around he doesn't think that he would.
The caller asked Howard if he thinks he could date someone like that Janessa. Howard said that he doesn't think that he could. Artie said that it's always the different chick thing with guys and you always want something else. Howard said that Artie is right. He said that Janessa was hot though and he thinks that guys are going to beat off to that episode.
Howard said that Janessa is hot in a different way than Beth. He said that Beth is a good girl hot and Janessa is a ''dirty girl'' hot. Artie said that it's the variety thing and he thinks that's one of those evil things that God put into guys.
Artie asked if Beth would be upset with Howard for jerking off to this chick. Howard said he doesn't think that she'd be upset.
Artie asked Howard about the chicks that he's had on the show over the years and if he has ever wanted to bang any of them. Howard said that he had a lot of chicks like that. He said that he's sure he would have had sex with all of them if he wasn't married and he probably would have gotten some kind of disease that would have killed him. Howard said that some of them weren't even that good looking. Robin agreed with him on that and said that there were many who he would chat up that had questionable backgrounds. She said that even when he was dating after his divorce he had some women who were questionable.
Howard said that he has learned that if he feels that things aren't going well with he and Beth that they're just going to end it. He said that they're not going to drag it out if they feel they need to go out and get other people.
Artie said that he's a lot like Howard in that sense and he doesn't think that he'd do anything like that either if he had a woman like he does.
Howard said that he's a sick man and he can't be alone for one night. He said that he had to go out and find someone to be with when he was dating. He said that it got very complicated. Howard said that other people thought that they were the special people in his life and that just wasn't the case. Howard said he had women crying when he found out that he was seeing other people. He said he knows he was hurting people and he hated that.
Howard said that human beings are involved. He said he was just being a dick head when he was doing that. Howard said that you give a guy some power, like the power he was handed, and you see how they behave. Howard said he behaved like a douche bag. Artie said that he wasn't handed that power, he earned it.
Gary came in and said that the biggest change he's seen in Howard is the way Howard reacts to the women that come on the show. Gary said that the level of pretty that Howard has gone to has really changed. Gary said that they used to have some stuff in common with the girls but now Howard is at a new level.
Howard said that he was going nuts back in the days when he was dating. He was going out with anyone he could.
Artie said that he remembers talking to Norm MacDonald and Frank Sebastiano back when Howard started dating and they were all hoping that he was getting some hot chicks.
The caller asked Howard about his OCD and if he was still able to avoid it. Howard said that he has been avoiding it for 4 days now. Artie said that his OCD was triggered after Howard brought it up and he feels like he's trapped now.
Howard said that Robin was suggesting that he go to therapy four days a week but he's not going to do that. He said that he's already spending 3 days a week and half the day in therapy.
The caller was saying he thinks that Fred is the most normal guy on the show. Howard said that he's far from the most normal. He said that Fred has gone thorough a lot of stuff in his life that has really screwed him up.
Artie said that was creepy. Scott came in and Howard asked him about the stories he was telling. Scott said that it was before he met them that he was a hot stud.
Howard said he wanted to find out what happened with the threesome yesterday but the porn star wasn't there yet.
Howard said that Dee Dee and Trent were there. He had them come in a short time later. He mentioned that they're $5,000 richer after that game yesterday.
Howard asked Dee Dee if she was ready to back out yesterday. She said that she was panicked about the whole thing. Howard said that Dee Dee is very pretty and she could probably get a threesome at any time. Dee Dee said that she can't have it with someone half her age though. Howard asked if that was the problem. Dee Dee said that she didn't want to make it worse than it was.
Dee Dee said that she's shocked that Lexi Belle isn't there. She said that she had texted them last night after they went to bed. Dee Dee said that Lexi asked them to come over to her hotel room so they went there. Howard asked what happened when she answered the door. Dee Dee said that she was way hot. She said that they went right from the show back to her hotel room. Dee Dee said she was very nervous about that.
Howard asked what happened when they got into the hotel room. Dee Dee said that Richie Wilson asked if they could audio tape them doing their thing. Dee Dee said she didn't want to do that. She had to say no to him.
Robin asked Dee Dee if she was still nervous. Dee Dee said that she really is. She went on to talk about what they did in the hotel room. Dee Dee said that she likes to talk as foreplay so that's what they did for a little while.
Howard asked Trent why he didn't ask the girls to kiss and stuff like that. Trent said that the girls were talking and they probably did that for 45 minutes to an hour. They got comfortable and then Dee Dee wanted to get washed up so she could be fresh for the whole thing. She didn't know that they were going to do this thing so quickly.
Howard asked Dee Dee why she didn't ask Lexi to take a bath with her or anything. She said that she never even thought about that. Dee Dee said that she took a shower and washed up. She said that she was kind of using a wash cloth and soap to clean up in there. She said that she was just kind of ''bird bathing it.'' Howard asked if she stuck a finger in there to see if she stunk. She said she didn't do that. Howard said that he will do that with his taint sometimes to make sure he doesn't smell too bad down there.
Howard asked Dee Dee if she was really nervous at that point. She said that she couldn't have been more nervous. She was saying that Lexi was very hot and she was attracted to her but she was so nervous that she wasn't sure she could do it.
Howard asked Trent if they're more talkative when they're out with this Lexi Belle. Trent said that they're actually very talkative when they're out. He said that this show is just intimidating to them.
Howard asked what happened after the shower. Dee Dee said that they had a lull in the conversation so Trent started to tell them what to do. Trent said he broke the ice and had the girls doing some stuff together. Dee Dee did her thing with Lexi and she was giggling a lot. Trent said that there was a lot of giggling.
Dee Dee said that she went in for the kiss with Lexi. She said that it was soft. Trent said that it was unbelievable. Howard asked if Lexi did anything after that. Dee Dee said that she did pull down her shirt to see her boobs. Lexi took her bra off after that. Dee Dee said that she was kind of shell shocked and she didn't know what to do.
Howard asked if she started to play with her boobs. Dee Dee said she did. She had never had another woman touch her boobs like that. Dee Dee said it was nice but she was still very nervous. Howard asked what happened after that. Dee Dee said that Trent had more suggestions. Trent said he asked them to get Lexi's shirt off next.
Howard found out that Dee Dee liked kissing Lexi's boobs. She was getting excited by then and Trent was just laying on the bed with his penis near Dee Dee's head.
Howard asked if the bottoms had come off by then. Dee Dee said that they hadn't. Then Trent put his wiener in her hand and she remembered that she had to multi-task. She said that after that Lexi pulled her pants down. Dee Dee said she was very glad that she had freshened up after that. Then Lexi went down on her. Howard said that Trent must have been popping a rod by then.
Howard asked Dee Dee if she liked Lexi going down on her. She said that she did and she had an orgasm. Dee Dee said that she's pretty orgasmic so it wasn't too hard to make that happen. She said that Lexi was licking her and using a vibrator on her. She said that the vibrator was actually for her rear but she wasn't into that.
Howard asked if Lexi was better at it than Trent. She said that she likes Trent better but she didn't want to take anything away from Lexi on that.
Trent said that he and Lexi both went down on her together. Howard applauded him for that. Artie gave him a standing ovation. Howard asked if Lexi wanted some pleasure too. Dee Dee said that she tried but she's pretty sure she didn't give her much pleasure. She said that she was probably balancing her checkbook while she was down there.
Howard asked Dee Dee how she did down there. She said that she was really out of it and didn't know if she was doing it right. She was afraid that she was going to gag when she got down there but there was no funk and she smelled fine. She said that she was very scared though.
Howard asked Trent when he got to take his clothes off. Trent said that after Lexi took her clothes off they all got in bed together naked. He said that Lexi touched his wiener too. Trent said that he banged his wife and then Lexi touched him.
Dee Dee was getting it from behind and Lexi was getting pleasure from Dee Dee. Howard said that's pretty wild. Artie got up and applauded the two of them again. Howard asked Trent if he wanted to bang Lexi. Trent said that he didn't bang her. He said that his wife would have let him but he's not sure if Lexi wanted it. He said that she did give him oral though.
Trent said that Lexi gave him oral after Dee Dee gave him oral. He said that he was giving pleasure to Lexi while Dee Dee was giving him oral. Artie said that this was great.
Howard asked Trent where he finished up, on Lexi's head or something? Dee Dee said that they weren't really done at that point. Dee Dee said that he would pull out of her and she was sucking on his wiener and then she was sucking on him. She said that she was spitting on him and wanted to share with her. She said that she wasn't really into that but she went for it anyway.
Trent said that Lexi was really good at oral but not as good as his wife. Trent said that they shared him for a while and then Dee Dee got on his face and he gave her some pleasure as Lexi was giving him some pleasure. Howard said it sounds like Trent can hold out for a long time. He said that it sounds like he's like a porn star in that way. Trent said he's not sure how he was able to hold out like that.
Artie sad that this was great because so many guests let them down and these guys aren't letting them down at all. Howard said that it really is surprising.
Howard asked about what they did after they did all of that stuff. Trent said that they went out and had lunch and hung out for another hour and a half or so. Dee Dee said that she was actually a really nice girl. Trent and Dee Dee said that the session with Lexi lasted about 45 minutes or so.
Dee Dee said that this actually made her more excited about Trent. She said that they've been going at it since then. They said that they would only suggest this to other couples if they have a very strong relationship. They said that they've spoken about doing it again sometime.
Dee Dee said that she doesn't think that she was turning Lexi on at all but she acted like she was. Howard asked if Trent regrets not banging Lexi. Trent said he doesn't at all.
Artie told them to go see the top of the Empire State Building. Trent said that they're going to Vegas after this and that's looking pretty lame after all of this. Howard congratulated them on their conquest. He said that there was no pressure for them to do anything but it sounds like they had fun.
Robin asked Howard if he would be into doing something like that after hearing this. Howard said he wants Robin to blow him while he's with his wife. Robin said that won't happen. Howard asked Robin if she would go with Dee Dee and Trent after hearing that. Robin said she can't imagine being in another room with more than one person.
Howard asked Trent if he got jealous while she was doing stuff with Lexi. Trent said he didn't at all. Dee Dee said that she was way out of her comfort zone so it was tough.
Howard asked how the neighbors are going to react to this. Trent said that his 19 year old son is listening and this is actually his step-mom so they're going to have a lot of explaining to do when they get back. Robin asked if Trent is going to tell his son that this is what he should look for in a relationship. He said that he'll tell him to get this kind of thing out of the way before he gets married.
Howard thanked them for coming back today. He said it was too bad that Lexi Belle couldn't call in today. He said that she's probably sleeping in like any porn star would.
Trent and Dee Dee said that they took the losing couple out to dinner last night and they ended up listening to the show up in their hotel room. They said that they weren't looking to do a foursome so nothing happened up there. They told the other couple the blow-by-blow of their experience. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said it was time to find out who is the biggest Black Superfan. They had a song parody prepared for the game and played that.
Howard said they had 3 black gentlemen coming in to play a game of show trivia. He introduced Brian Wilson first and he was an actor on the TV show ''The Wire.'' Robin said that was a great show but it's over now. She didn't recognize Brian from the show though. Robin said that he wasn't a major player on the show. Robin said that the main guys on the show would be having a discussion and he would walk through with a piece of paper or something. Brian said that he had a couple of lines in there too.
Howard said that Brian also worked with Fred on ''Cold Hearts.'' Brian said they didn't meet but they were both in the movie. Brian said that he's still doing the acting thing and he's got to go out and audition for parts. He said that the economy has made things tough and he's been working for scale lately.
Howard asked Brian how long he's been listening to the show. Brian said that he's been listening since 1989. He said that the other guy Ron kind of freaked him out by saying that he was going to win.
Howard said that the next contestant was Cyrus who calls the show a couple of times a week. Howard said that he was blacker than Brian was. Howard said he was much darker, maybe 10 shades darker. Howard said that Brian is actually pretty light.
Howard asked Cyrus what he does for a living. Cyrus said that he calls into shows for a living. He said that he actually works for the gas company. He said that he gets to listen to the show quite a bit and he thinks that he's a Superfan.
Howard said that Cyrus claims that he was once raped by a woman. Cyrus said he didn't realize it until about 10 years after it happened. He said that he went to this girl's house and they were about to do it and her phone rang. He said that she left the room and he fell asleep. He said he told her to let him sleep and she ended up coming back with a knife. He said that she told him that she was going to tell her brother that he hit her if he didn't do something with her. The brother had a gun so he figured he'd better do what he could. Cyrus said that he didn't even want to nut, he just wanted her to do her thing and then he got his ass out of there.
Howard introduced the final contestant which was Ron. Ron has been a fan since 1997 but he didn't like the show at first. Ron said that none of his friends liked the show at the time but he ended up getting caught up in it when he was working with some contractors who listened. Ron said that his friends think he's insane for being a fan. He said they hate him for it.
Howard said that Ron has 7 kids from 4 different women. Ron said that he only got married once. He said that he didn't like most of the women. Howard asked him if he wasn't wearing a rubber or something. Ron said that it was a long time ago and he started out at 17. He has to pay $18,000 in child support every year. Gary said that's not so much money. Gary said it wasn't all that much really.
Ron said that he makes about 60,000 a year so he's not doing quite as well as some people are. Howard said that he sounds very bitter about the kids. Ron said that he doesn't like the kids that much. He said that he is pretty bitter and their mother's are cunts. Ron said that he loves his wife and the two kids he has now.
Howard said that it was time to play so he moved on and told the guys to buzz in when they know the answer. They had them set up with noises. Brian was ''Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo'' and Cyrus was 'Obama!'' while Ron was ''Gurkle, gurkle, gurkle.''
Howard said the questions are all worth 5 points. He said that they don't get points taken away if they answer incorrectly. Howard said that he had a $1000 prize for the winner from the people at Man Groomer. Here are some the questions:
The score at this point was Brian with 40 points, Cyrus with 20 and Ron with 15 points. Howard said that the next 4 questions were worth 10 points each. Here they are:
After that Howard said that they had some audio clips to play. The questions were worth 10 points. If they got them wrong they were going to lose 10 points. Howard played the first one which was OJ Simpson saying ''I Would Love To.'' That was OJ Simpson. Next up was an audio clip of Hate Man. Cyrus got that one right. Next up was ''Suckamuckagus'' and Brian got that one as Riley Martin. Finally they had a clip of Joe Frazier singing to Robin. Brian got that one and won the game.
Howard gave the other two guys $250 each. Brian knew a lot about the show and Howard said that the guy who won was the most humble of the three. Howard said that the other two were bragging about how they were going to win and they failed to produce. Ron was saying that Brian was just faster on the buzzer. He said he wasn't going to congratulate anyone.
Ron gave Howard an F, Marry, Kill with Oprah, Monique and Whoopi Goldberg. Howard said that he might have to bump off all three of them. He said that it was a tough choice. Howard said that he'd have to get rid of Monique, fuck Oprah and marry Whoopi.
Artie gave Howard an F, Marry, Kill for Ron. He gave him Elizabeth Taylor, Joan Rivers and Cloris Leachman. Ron said he'd kill Cloris, Marry Elizabeth Taylor and fuck Joan.
Howard said that Brian is going to be on the All Black Superfan Roundtable tonight. They're doing that for Black History Month. Howard said that even the black channels aren't celebrating Black History month like they do. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back as Fred started to play some AC/DC and talked up the song as if he were a DJ back at WNBC. He said he's looking for an easy job like that.
Howard said that he was reading an article about a woman who wanted to get back into the radio business but she found that all of the stations just do voice tracks instead of having someone in the studio live doing the show. Howard said that they can record a whole show in like 10 minutes and that's exactly what he'd like to do.
Howard said he saw the guy, Noel Biderman, from Ashley Madison out in the hall. He said he's kind of interested in finding out more about how he got that site started.
Howard had the guys bring Noel in. Noel said that he started the site off with $100,000 and it's doing well. Howard said that Noel looked much younger than he thought he would. Noel said that he's actually 37 but Howard thought he was in his 20s.
Noel said that this was a business thing and he wasn't looking to make a statement with the site or anything. He said that they have 3.5 million members on the site now and people are looking to have affairs. He said that there are people who just want to have affairs of the heart and just chat with people online. Noel said that they guarantee that people will find someone on there. He said that it's 70 percent men and 30 percent women so it's tilted in the women's favor.
Noel said that they have a lot of people coming after them. He said that there are people out there who are doing worse than they are and people aren't going after them for promoting stuff for kids. Noel said that they don't push this kind of stuff at kids and they never have.
Howard asked Noel how this idea came to him. Noel said that the online dating thing was getting big back in 2000 and that's where the idea came from. Howard asked where the name came from. Noel said that they were looking to make people comfortable with the name and those two names were very popular at the time so that's what they picked.
Howard asked how people's privacy is kept. Noel said that you don't have to give your real name and you keep your picture under lock and key and you don't give it out unless you want to. Noel said that they also have new products and services in the works all the time. He said that they had one woman who found a guy on the site and ended up marrying him and she wrote a book about it.
Noel said that they don't know why people cheat but if you're married and you want to cheat, the people on the site are also in relationships so they all have something to lose. He said that you shouldn't do it in the work place because you may lose your job. He said that you don't have to use an escort or anything either if you're on this site.
Howard asked Noel if people blame them for their spouses cheating. Noel said that they can but it's the people who are doing it and you have to look at yourself in the mirror. Noel said that it took them 5 years to get the first million people and in the past couple of years they've added 2.5 million more, some of them thanks to Howard's show.
Howard asked Benjy if he's on this Ashley Madison web site. Benjy said that he's thought about doing it but he hasn't gotten around to it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has been on Ashley Madison and it really works. He said that you always do a meet and greet and go from there. He said that he's been e-mailing one woman for like 2 years now. He said that he can get laid every 3-4 months with that one woman.
The caller said that his wife is kind of on the prude side and he's looking for more. He was saying that he'd like them to make it easier to pay so his wife doesn't find out about it. Noel said that they have many ways of paying and you don't have to use a credit card.
Bobo called in and asked if they've ever had any altercations where people were caught cheating and they chase them down. Noel said that one guy threatened him on the Tyra Banks show but people are going to cheat. He said that even without him people are still going to cheat.
Howard asked if the chicks are really hot on there. Noel said that there are some very attractive women on there. He said that they are all over the service and there are also a lot of young, married women who find out that marriage isn't what they expected.
Howard asked Noel if he's a millionaire. Noel said that he's doing very well at this point. He said that he's trying to make this the number one dating service in the world and they're looking to get over 10 million subscribers.
Artie said that they hired him to read the commercials and that's great. Howard said that they're the only ones who will hire a heroin user.
Howard said that it was great to meet Noel again. He said that he had met him before but he didn't remember. Noel said that they had a contest on the show that the sponsored and the woman ended up losing her job over it. Noel said that they sent that couple some extra money after that because they felt so bad about it. Artie said he did a benefit show for that couple too.
Howard asked Noel if he's married. Noel said that he is and if she cheated on him he wouldn't blame a web site, he'd have to think about what he did wrong in his relationship.
Howard thanked Noel for coming in and gave him some more plugs for AshleyMadison.com. Howard asked if there are any celebrities on the site. Noel said that he really doesn't know. He said that it's all anonymous so it's not easy to keep track of.
Howard had a clip from ''Oh No There's a Negro In My Daughter'' where the father of a white girl walks in on his daughter doing this black guy. Howard played that one and goofed on it for a short time.
They had to go to break a short time later because they had Rosie O'Donnell coming in. Gary said that he went into the green room and turned the show off so they wouldn't hear what was being played. He said that he lucked out and no one noticed when he did that. They went to break after that.
Rosie came in to promote this show ''In America'' that she produced for Lifetime. Howard said that it's on Saturday night.
Rosie said that she had never seen a studio like that before. She asked why Robin was in the bullet proof booth. Howard said that they started working at a station many years ago where they were separated by glass and they just kept it that way. He said that Robin can work behind the glass and do her thing and not interrupt the show. Robin said that she can observe from there and not interfere and avoid the testosterone.
Howard said he just found out that Rosie stopped drinking. He said that he was going to go out with her to dinner but now he thinks it won't be fun. Rosie said that she was drinking when she was like 30 or so and just a few months ago she asked her 14 year old to get her a beer. He said no. He told her that she was drinking too much.
Howard asked Rosie why she was drinking so much. Rosie said that it started when she was on The View and she didn't really have a reason for that.
Howard said that Rosie was on The View and he never thought that was going to work. He said that the other women just got in her way. Rosie said that Barbara Walters asked her to do it and she figured she'd try it for a year. She said that things didn't work out.
Howard asked Rosie if it's scarier going up on stage doing stand-up the first time or coming out of the closet. Rosie said that she was already in the safe zone when she came out. She said when she first started out in the business it was different. She said that she started out doing stand-up when she was just 16 years old. She did some stuff in school and did skits and some SNL skits that were on around that time.
Howard asked Rosie where she started out and how she got into the business. Rosie said that she saw Jerry Seinfeld doing his thing and she just copied what he did. She said that she even did his inflection. She said that she saw it and it was funny so she just did his material. they told her to come back the next day to do her own thing.
Rosie said that she went on Star Search and she didn't win. She said that it was her and Sinbad in the finals together. This other guy, John Kissear, ended up winning. Rosie said she went out and did her thing on the road after that. She said that she didn't think she'd be a big star doing that, she figured that she was going to be a Broadway star or something like that.
Howard asked Rosie about being friends with Madonna and how that's going. Rosie said that she was friends with Sandra Bernhard and that's how she met her. Howard said he heard that Madonna would ask questions about herself just to get people to kiss her ass. Howard figured that it would be very competitive between the two of them. Rosie said it's really not like that.
Howard talked to Rosie about studying the Kabala with Madonna. Rosie said that she has done that stuff too. Howard asked her if she's considered Jewish now. She said that it's actually got nothing to do with Judaism. Howard asked if Kelly is involved with that. Rosie said that she's actually Buddhist. Howard said that's like a mixed marriage then.
Howard asked Rosie about getting married to Kelly and what sparked that. Rosie said that it was Bush coming out and saying they were going to down hat they had to do to stop gay marriage right after they had announced they'd lost a whole platoon over in Iraq. She said that she told Kelly to get her stuff together because they were going to go get married.
Rosie said that they got a letter saying that their marriage had been annulled and it was very upsetting to Kelly. Howard asked Rosie why they always read that her marriage is in trouble. Rosie didn't know where he was reading it. Howard said it was in the tabloids and stuff. Rosie said that things are fine. She said that it's tough but Kelly is the main reason that they keep things going. She said that Kelly plans out date nights and stuff and that's what keeps things going.
Howard said he always assumed that she was orgying with tons of women. He said he had that impression of her. Rosie said that she doesn't even like being naked in the room with Kelly. Rosie said that she has no desire to do orgies.
Rosie talked about losing wieght and how tough that was for her. She said it was very hard to keep the weight off. Rosie said that they keep the kids eating under control and they don't let them overeat. roise said that her 11 year old daughter told her that she could look different and that totally hit her. She said that she might be embarassed but celebrities get a littel more leeway. Seh sadi that the kids actually tell her not to worry about it so much and just go out and go swimming and stuff. seh sadi that they're actually teaching her.
Howard asekd if Kelly walks around naked in the bedroom. Rosie said that she would and she doesn't even think about it. Rosie said taht she's even asked Kelly why she likes her since she's fat. She said that Kelly just tells her that she's never had an issue wieth that. Rosie said that there are 5 o'Donnell kids and they're all overweight.
Howard asked if ti was tough to give up the beer. Rosie said that it really wasn't. She said that it's totally thte worst thing to do if you have depression. She said that seh takes medication for the depression. Howard said that ARtie is depressed too. Rosie akesd what he takes.
Howard todl her that he's taking heroin. Rosie said that's not good. ARtie said that he used to take Paxil years ago and drinking with that was the worst thing to do.
Rosie said that she's going through menopause and it's the wrost. Robin has gone throught that as well. Rosie said that it started with her at 41. Rosie said that she woke up in bed one morning and she was dripping in sweat from teh hot flashes.
Howard said that Roibn was using K-Y when she went through menopause. Robin said that she never had to do that, she was lying to him about that. Rosie said that seh would use it if she had to. Rosie sadi that two women don't really need to use lube like that. Howard aksed her if she uses a strap-on. He said he didn't picture her doing that and figures that seh would do it with nust her tongue and fingers. Rosie liked waht Howard was saying there.
Rosie told Howard about where she's living and how they have a vacation house down in Florida. Rosie said that she hates going to Europe and places liek that. Howar dsia dhe does too. Rosie said that they have perfectly good places to go on vacation right here in this country. Howard said that he's the same way and his therapist tells him he's nuts. Rosie said that she has the same problem.
Howard sadi that he likes to sit around in his house. ROsie said she's the same way and she doesnt' even like to go out and eat since restaurants deliver.
Howard aksed ROsie about the TV show and why she's going to do this variety show. Rosie said that she was out in L.A. last week and she sadi she had some meetings about that stuff. She asdi that she got tired of talking to cleebrities who were on other talk shows talkign about the exact same stuff. ROsie said that she would like to do a show where she has regular people on where they can just have some fun.
Howard said that maybe network TV doesn't allow her to do what she really wants to do. Howard said that she was thinking about doin gsometing on MSNBC. Rosie said that came close and they were going to do it.
Howard said that he got a copy of this special, ''In America,'' and watched it at home with Beth. EH said that he didn't know what to expect but it turned out to be great. He said that the star of the movie was this kid she found in a restaurant. Rosie said that she saw this kid in the restaurant and asked him to do it but they weren'ti interested at first. She said she thinks that he's going to get even more work but he's looking to get into college.
Howard said that the movie makes you realize one thing. He said that we see this Octomom out there having 14 kids and meanwhile there are these Foster care kids who can't get adopted. Howard said that there are so many unwanted kids and they end up in jail or homeless. Rosie said that the kids are thrown out on the street at 18 no matter what. She said that 80 percent end up homeless or dead after that.
Howard said the movie is a good story. He said that it's got a little bit of something for everyone. Howard said that the only flaw is that they don't have Spider-Man in the movie. Rosie jokingly said that they tried.
Howard talked to Rosie about the Academy Awards and some of the things that surprised him. Howard asked Rosie why she stopped blogging on her web site. Rosie said that when she started no one knew what a blog was. She said that now everyone found out about it and it was no longer exciting. She said that they were taking clips and using them on ET and shows like that. She said it was more of a headache than it was worth. She said that she does do some blogging now but doesn't really give her opinions on the world stuff.
Howard asked Rosie if she's on Facebook. Rosie said that her brother signed her up for that and it turned into being a nightmare. She said that she's really not on there.
Howard gave Rosie some more plugs for ''In America'' and found out he had 5 more minutes. He also gave her a plug for RosiesBroadwayKids.com.
Howard asked Rosie about her run ins with Trump. She said that she has never really spoken to him in person. She said that she was at his wedding to Marla Maples though. Howard was there and he didn't remember seeing her there. Rosie said that Howard hated her then so of course he didn't see her.
Howard and Rosie talked about some of the other guests there like OJ Simpson. That was pre-murder. Rosie said that she really doesn't know Trump and she's only seen him on TV. Rosie said that the guy went ballistic on her for nothing.
Howard said that he was always driven crazy when Rosie wouldn't come out of the closet and she had to pretend that she was into Tom Cruise. Rosie said that things were different back then.
Howard asked Rosie about when she came out and about her past relationships with men. Rosie said that she did have a guy and she was able to orgasm with him.
Gary came in and said that they were done. They had to move her along to some other shows there. Rosie said that she'll come back. Howard said that he has more questions for her so she has to come back. They spent a couple more minutes talking even though Rosie really had to get going. Rosie was talking about how she found out about the Foster care system and how she wanted to get that changed. Howard gave her some more plugs and then let her go.
Howard came back and said he was enjoying his tuna sandwich with no mayo. He said he hopes not anyway. He said he had a bunch of callers who wanted to talk to Rosie but the time just flew by. He said that he has a lot of questions for her.
Howard said that he has more porn clips to play. He said that they left off with the chick in bed with the black guy having a conversation with her ''dad.'' He got back into that clip and goofed on it some more. He had some more from ''There's a Negro In My Mom'' also. He played some of that audio and there was a retarded kid in the room with his mom banging this black guy. They listened to that clip and got some laughs from that. Howard said that he's wondering what kind of people are watching this stuff.
Howard asked Artie about his bonding with Rosie about the anti-depression meds. Artie said that he may try what Rosie was telling him about.
Howard said that Kidd Chris is there and he's got a new band going. He lost his radio show in Philly and now he's doing this band thing.
Howard asked Chris why he was fired. Chris said that he can't even say. He's not allowed to. Howard said that he got canned from WYSP and now he's having a tough time finding a job. Chris said that the only things he has to worry about is if it's raining out. He said that all of his friends in the radio business go to work worrying if they're going to get fired or not.
Howard asked Chris what his 5 best radio bits were. Chris said that he had Artie and Howard on. Howard said that the George Takei prank call was great. Chris said that Howard made that one a classic. Artie told him to take credit for it because it's a great call.
Howard said that Chris was telling him about this ''Bit Board'' web site where radio guys post their bits. Howard said he checked it out but there was really nothing going on there. Howard asked Chris again for his top 5 bits. Chris said that on Fridays they would come up with fake guests that would just make stuff up. He said that they would set it up at like 6am and they'd know it was a goof but then the people who tuned in later didn't know and they'd get pissed.
Howard asked Chris if he's going to be back in radio. Chris said that he will. He said that he's turned down some jobs lately. He said that the timing just isn't right.
Chris said that he thinks the phone will stop ringing now that he's said this. He said that the business is really tough to be in.
Howard said that Chris is going to hang around for the news. He's in a new band called The Beat Offs. Chris said that he's having fun doing that. You can find out more about that stuff at KiddShow.com.
Chris told Howard a story about taking a picture of a puppy and he put it up on CraigsList and said that he was moving out of town and had to get rid of the dog or he'd have to put it to sleep. He had a voice mail saying that the puppy was already dead and people would get pissed and leave him nasty messages.
Howard asked Chris what he's doing tonight. Chris is going out with some friends. Howard said that he would have gone out with him. Chris said that he already had plans. Howard said he always waits until it's too late to ask.
Howard and Artie talked about this one party they went to with Chris and how he had left his date there without telling her he was leaving. Chris said he thought that she had left so he left. Artie said that Chris left the party like 4 hours before she did.
Howard said Chris should do the Sulu Dance at his band. That led to them playing that song. That was Chris' song that they've been playing on the show for years.
Lisa said that Artie has ended up on a list of the most unfit celebrities. She also said that Ronnie claimed that he didn't answer her on a question about using condoms. She said that she has audio of Ronnie giving an answer. She said that she asked Ronnie told her that he doesn't use them and when she asked if he has unprotected sex, he said ''yes.'' Howard said that Ronnie hasn't been talking to anyone today. Lisa said that he's not talking to her or Doug Goodstein.
Ronnie came in and said that this one should get a life. He said that this old lady next to him, Lisa, should get a life. He said that he's not interested in her story about condoms. That's not even what he's upset with her about. Ronnie said that he's talking to everyone out there. He said he's just minding his own business.
Ronnie said that he has a truce with JD now and he's not speaking to him at all. That's his kind of truce. The guys told Ronnie that it's not a truce if you're not talking to someone.
Ronnie said he just can't deal with JD anymore. JD came in and said that he only talks to Ronnie to bust his balls. JD said Ronnie has been busting his balls since he started there. Ronnie said that he can take it when his balls are busted. JD said he's not even sure what he does wrong.
JD and Ronnie are going to be playing beer pong against each other tomorrow. JD said that he's going to be heckling him. Ronnie said he doesn't care. Doug Goodstein asked Ronnie to please not wear such an ugly shirt tomorrow. Howard said that it was a pretty ugly shirt. Ronnie said he doesn't care.
Howard talked about this Beer Pong show they're shooting for Howard TV. They have people teaming up against each other in the games and mentioned that Tracy will be playing. That led to the guys doing their impressions of Tracy saying her infamous ''Douche'' comment to Steve Grillo.
Jon Hein came in and ran down his list of subjects they were going to cover on the Wrap Up Show today. The guys ended up talking about the Black Superfan contest and talked about how light skinned they were. Howard said that next time he wants the guys to do a cardboard test on them to make sure they're at least as dark as cardboard or a paper bag.
Mutt from Superfan Roundtable was on the phone and said that they have an all black show tonight. He ran down some of the stuff they'll be doing tonight at 7pm on Howard 101.
Howard said that someone said that 50 Cent recorded one too. He played one called ''Robin's Getting Enemas'' and it was actually from John the Intern and not 50 Cent.
Robin read a story about the Obama family marriage and how ''perfect'' it supposedly is. Howard said he's not buying that. Robin said that they claim that it's been hard work for them. Howard said it would be great if they found out that Obama had an account at Ashley Madison. He said that his screen name would probably be ''Mr. President.''
Robin said that Woody Allen just signed the beautiful girl from Slumdog Millionaire to be in a future movie he's doing. Robin said that Woody is just as creepy as ever.
Robin read some news about Rihanna and Chris Brown. That led to them talking about that story for a short time. Howard said that he heard a rumor about why they got into that fight but he wasn't going to say what it was. Kidd Chris said that she must have really mouthed off to get the beating that she got.
Robin read a story about this doctor who wanted his kidney back from his wife. Dominic Barbara apparently lost the case. Chris was saying that he'd like to hear a show with Dominic and Ralph on it. He said he's glued to the radio when either of them call in.
Robin read a story about the Octomom and how she's been offered some work in movies. Dr. Phil has also grabbed her up. Robin wondered how he's going to treat her. The guys figured that he's going to beat her up. They had some audio from that Dr. Phil interview that they played. Robin said that she read that they're not going to let her take those 8 kids home until she's got better living conditions.
Robin said that Morgan Freeman was in an accident a few months ago and he had a woman in the car with him who wasn't his wife. She has come out and said that she has been dubbed ''the other woman'' and that has tainted her reputation. Robin had some audio of her talking about what's been going on with all of that.
Robin read that former President Bush stopped by a school to say hi and asked the kids if they knew who he was. One student said ''George Washington.'' They say that Bush tried to do the same in a Spanish class but just got strange looks before being saved by the Principal.
Robin read a story about a chess player who just beat the world record for playing the most games at one time. He played 360 games at the same time. Chris said that sometimes he'll hear Howard talking about playing chess and he'll feel the same way he did when he found out Santa wasn't real. He said he wants Howard to throw some pussy talk into those conversations.
Robin played some audio clips of some musical performances that President Obama was introducing. Howard said that Obama is up to a lot of that nonsense lately.
Robin read some news about Al Sharpton's complaints against the NY Post being taken to Washington DC. She had some audio clips of Sharpton talking about that. That led to Howard playing the interviews that Sal and Richard did down at the protest at the NY Post.
Robin read some news about the huge drug wars going on down in Mexico. She said that they're warning kids not to go visit down there. Robin had some audio of a DEA Agent talking about their operation to cut back on the wars.
Robin had some news about Tiger Woods and his return to the game. Robin said that he seems to mean everything to the game right now. She had some audio of him talking about his return. Robin said it's amazing that he was ruining his knees playing golf.
Robin had some news about A-Rod and the Yankees. She had some audio of A-Rod talking about how he expects things to go this season. Chris said that he's yet to run into any baseball fan who is upset about this steroid thing. He said that he kind of likes it when Wrestlers take steroids and turn into larger than life people.
Robin read a story about a plane crash in Amsterdam. 9 People died in that crash. Robin said that people are surviving more these days than they used to. Robin said that it might be that they're building the planes better now.
Robin read some news about the Jonas Brothers doing a 3D concert movie. The guys goofed on the band a bit and Robin had them play some audio of them talking about their movie. Artie yelled out ''You love cooooock!'' in the middle of that clip. Chris laughed his ass off when he heard that.
Robin had Howard playing some audio of one of the stars of ''The Watchmen'' talking about the movie. Robin read a story about a study that was done about diets and they found that they all work as long as you cut calories. They ended the show a short time later, right around 10:35am.
Gary said that both Howard and Rosie have been renegades in their careers and they're both very outspoken. Gary said he knows they're going to get a lot of shit for having her on but he thinks that it was a good interview and there was no way they'd turn her down as a guest.
Jon said that Rosie has talked about how scared she was of Howard in the past. Rosie told Howard during the interview that she was only afraid of him. Jon played a clip of that where Rosie talked about the fans coming up to her and yelling out ''Blah, blah blooey'' when they'd see her out.
Gary said that Rosie was a good guest and he's glad they had her on. Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Howard and Rosie bonded over not going out of their house much. Gary said that they are more like each other than he thought.
Jon and Gary talked about some of the other things Rosie was talking about like learning about kabalah and stuff like that. Gary said they were also talking about a lot of shrink stuff and Rosie was very willing to talk about stuff with Howard.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Gary how much the Mets suck. The guy calls in every day lately to do that. Gary said he's fine with that.
Another caller said that he's one of the guys who ''gets'' the show and he really likes that it has evolved over the years. He said he's one of the fans who is glad that it's different now than it was 10 years ago. He said that it's great that they can get over these petty fights and can move on. He said he liked the Rosie interview today.
Jon said that there is a mixed reaction to the Rosie O'Donnell thing. They remembered the jar of jelly beans that they had in the studio that filled up a giant Rosie head. Gary said that he had forgotten about that and someone else reminded him about it.
Jon asked how weird it must be for Rosie and Barbara Walters to have the same publicist. Gary said it has to be tough for the publicist.
Another caller said that he thinks that Artie was being kind of quiet during the interview and he was thinking he was doing that because he had goofed on Rosie so much in the past. Gary didn't think he was being that quiet, he was talking to her about the anti-depressants and stuff. Gary said that Rosie also saw Artie out in the hallway and maybe they know each other or something because she did seem to recognize him.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he liked this interview and also the Chevy Chase interview. Gary said that the one person he wants to get in there before Howard retires is Kathie Lee Gifford. The caller said that there's no way that's going to happen. Gary said that he never thought Rosie would come in either.
Another caller said that she thinks that Rosie should do a show on Howard 101 for one of those 7 o'clock shows. Gary said that Howard said that they should get her there but he's not sure the company has that kind of money to hire her. Gary said that she would be great on SIRIUS and they'd love to have her there.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that they should get her on the Sybian the next time she's on. Gary said that not many celebrities get on the Sybian. Gary said that he did want to show it to her today when she said that they have a lot of weird stuff in the studio. Howard had told her ''You have no idea'' when she mentioned that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie argues the same way on the air every time. It's always just a bunch of bullshit and no substance to it.
Benjy asked Gary if he knows what Ronnie is upset with Lisa G over. Gary said he knows about it but he won't say what it was. He said he kind of gets why Ronnie is so upset too.
Jon asked Doug Goodstein about his fight with Ronnie. Doug said that Ronnie isn't talking to him today, he got the silent treatment to him. Doug said that he doesn't know what Ronnie was talking about with the ''rinse'' yesterday either. He said he had to go home and ask his wife what that was about.
Doug said that he thinks a lot of what Ronnie does isn't real and it's more of a ''wink, wink'' type of thing. Gary said he doesn't agree with that. He said that he thinks that it's very real.
Jon asked about the Stuttering John comparisons they're making there about JD. Jon said that he thinks that Jason is very much like that as well. Gary said that Jason does it because he feels like he's not doing his job if he doesn't talk about it. Gary said that some people think that Jason hasn't earned that right.
Doug said that Jason really gets under his skin the most and he's not sure why that is. He said that he seems a little vindictive and malicious compared to other people who do that kind of thing.
Gary said that there are people there who do it more quietly, like Will. He said that Will will throw that stuff up on the computer and people never know where it came from.
Ronnie came in and said that he's talking to Doug today, he doesn't know where this is coming from. Ronnie said that he told Doug he just didn't want to be bothered today. Ronnie said that he wasn't ignoring Doug today. Doug said that they're always friends. He said that Ronnie only holds grudges for like a day.
Ronnie said that he's really sick of JD's Stuttering John routine and he can't deal with it anymore. He said that it never stops with him. Gary said that JD's laugh is just a nervous reaction or something. Gary said that he might not even be laughing at Ronnie, he laughs at almost everything.
Ronnie said that he really doesn't care and that's why he made the truce with him. The guys told Ronnie that it's not a truce when you just stop talking to someone.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Ronnie's turkey neck shakes when he gets really mad. Doug said he was looking at that right then.
Jon asked Ronnie if he was looking forward to doing the Beer Pong thing tomorrow. Ronnie said he's not into it at all. He said that he's just doing it because they asked him to. Ronnie said that he's played before but only once at his block party.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why Howard isn't hiring Kidd Chris. Gary said that Chris may not be done with his deal with the last company. Gary said that they also can't afford to pay anyone there so he probably couldn't live off of what they pay.
Benjy said that he thinks that they enjoyed the experience but maybe not until after. Gary said it sounded like Trent enjoyed it the whole time.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he wanted them to describe the Sybian. Gary told the guy that it looks like a horse saddle on four legs that's about 2 feet hight. He said that you put attachments on it and they use a flat one with some bumps on it. He said that they can control the intensity of it with a controller. Gary said that they're not using the attachments that insert but they do have the flat ones. The caller asked if they throw them out after one use. Gary said they do get rid of them now.
Doug said that they were cleaning out the bar area in the studio and he found a bag full of those used attachments in there.
Jon got back to the Rosie O'Donnell discussion and talked about her start in the comedy business. They went over some of the stuff she talked about. They had to go to break after that.
Gary said that Jason was interviewing some people for the game and they had to turn down some people who were good but not quite good enough. Jon asked the guys if they thought they were too light skinned to be called black. Brian said that he might be blacker than Obama but not in the skin color.
Jon asked Brian if he know how many fans they have there on the show. Brian said he knew that Gary and Jon were big fans. Gary said he had some questions about the show because he really liked the show. He asked about the guy who played Stringer Bell on the show having an English accent. The guy who played McNulty had an English accent as well.
Jon said that The Wire was the best drama on TV and he wondered if they knew that they had something special there. Brian said that he knew about it years later but not in the beginning. Gary said that he didn't know that Brian was playing today and he was trying to tell Howard that he really should watch it.
Gary said that you just need to see the first season to get sucked in on the show. He said that once you watch that season you'll wish that you bought the whole box set.
Jon asked if they have any other huge fans of the Stern Show on The Wire. Brian didn't know of any but Gary said that the guy who played Hurk on the show was a big fan.
Jon said that was rough of that discussion. He asked Brian about playing the game and how that went for him. Brian said that it was harder than he thought it was going to be. Gary said that the questions were just about right because not everyone knew them but they did know a lot of them.
Benjy said that he heard that Cyrus didn't sleep at all for two days. Cyrus said he had to take a train in last night to get there for 6:30 this morning. Cyrus said that he was waling the streets this morning really slow to kill time. He was in the city by 2:30.
Brian said that it was crazy doing the show because he's so familiar with it. Brian said that being there was crazy but a thrill of a lifetime. Gary asked him if he gets any voice over work. Brian said that he never does. He said that he just doesn't get that kind of work.
Jon asked Brian about the thing he had hanging around his neck. Brian said that he had something that he wore back in 1994 that let him get to Howard to interview him back then. He was also there on the last day for the final show at K-Rock.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he had an issue with the contest. He said that all of the questions were black related. Gary said that they were doing a Black History Month thing so it was kind of a theme. The caller said that if they were trying to find a true Superfan, they should have asked other questions that they should have known. Gary said that they may have been black oriented but they were still good trivia questions about the show.
Cyrus said that he knew some of the answers from listening to some of the Mammary Lane shows and things like that. Brian said that he didn't prepare for the show or study or anything. He said that he was on the road and didn't get to watch Private Parts like he wanted to.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he didn't think that the questions were all that hard. He said that he didn't know that Cyrus was black even tough he had heard him call the show so many times before. Gary said that they should put the ethnicity of the callers on the PDT so people know from now on.
Jon asked the guys what they think of Sal the Stockbroker being on the show. Cyrus said that Sal can be funny and there is no evil intent there. Brian said that Sal is just Sal and he speaks what's on his mind and he may have some racial tendencies but he doesn't think he has any hate.
Benjy asked the guys if they ever cringe at some of the stuff they talk about on the show. Brian said that there have been moments like that. He said that he and Artie have spoken about some of that stuff before. Brian said that he wrote a letter to Artie and Artie ended up calling his house and left his number for him to call back. Gary said he'd like to know what made Artie return that call. Jon said that someone had said that Artie has a better relationship with Brian than any other person on the show.
A director said that he didn't know that Brian was a fan of the Stern Show. The guy said that he directed Brian in a movie and he wanted to congratulate him on the win today.
Jon and Gary asked the guys if they know any other black listeners. Brian said that he knows a couple but Cyrus said that he doesn't know of any. He said that his friend ask him if he's nuts when he says that he's going up to the Stern Show to visit.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that The Wire was one of the most accurate drug related TV shows out there. He said that the works with the DEA and that's just what it's like. Brian said that the first scene he shot was in a scary neighborhood where they had real crack vials laying around.
Gary asked what his favorite season was for the show. Brian said that his favorite season was season 4 with the kids. He said he hasn't even seen the whole season since he's been so busy.
Jon took a call from Eddie the Produce guy who asked Brian about what his wife thinks of him listening to the show. Brian said that his wife doesn't really listen to the show that much. he said that he does have to turn it down sometimes when the f-word is flying around. He said that his wife understands why he likes the show and she would never stand in his way of him listening.
Jon asked Brian who his favorite character was on the show. He said that he liked Bubbles or Bunk, or even Omar. Jon also asked about his favorite scene of the show. Brian said that there was one scene where he found a body that was pretty powerful.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he was looking up some information about those movie clips they were playing on the show. He said that they call that fetish ''cuckolding.'' The guys spent a short time talking about that. That led to them talking about ''felching'' too. They were grossing each other out so Jon changed subjects.
Jon asked the guys what they think when Artie breaks into his Biggie Smalls rap. Cyrus said that's hilarious to him. Gary said he's amazed that he can remember all of the words the way he does. Benjy said that it really is incredible because he doesn't have the lyrics in front of him.
Brent Hatley from the Bubba the Love Sponge Show called in and asked Brian which guy he plays on The Wire. Brian said that he's the big, bald, black guy. Brent seemed to know who he was after Gary described what scenes he was in. Brent was also talking about some of the fetish stuff they were talking about and filled them in on that stuff.
Jon asked Brent what's going on with the show. Brent said that things are going really well and he just wanted to call in and tell Brian what a big fan he was of the show. Brian said that he's a big fan of Bubba's show too.
Benjy asked Brent about the fantasy he has to watch a guy bang his wife. Brent said that his wife is into girls and she's kind of creeped out by the guys that come around.
Jon let Brent go and took another call. The caller said that he thinks that Sal and Artie might be bigots but not racists. The guy said that if you were raised in the past 30 years then you're probably a bigot. Gary said he didn't get that. The caller explained what he meant and had comparisons to what a bigot and a racist were to him.
Another caller asked the guys why they think that black America is so out of touch with the Stern Show. Cyrus said that people just won't give it a chance. He said that people just believe the first thing they hear.
Brian said that it might be an economic thing too. He said that a lot of people aren't willing to pay for something they can get for free. Gary said that they were free on regular radio for many years. Gary said that they were on stations that most black people wouldn't listen to every day though.
Brian said that they probably lost a lot of black listeners when they moved to SIRIUS because he thinks that a lot of them are cheap and they won't pay for it.
Another caller said that they were talking about the questions in the game being race related but if they're superfans, they should know the same kind of stuff any fan would know. The guy was saying that it was kind of a racist thing to bring up Artie knowing that Biggie Smalls thing. The caller said that nothing really offends him on the show. Gary asked him if anything has ever offended him. The guy finally said that there have been some things that have offended him.
Gary said that even he's offended by some guests. He said that the God hates Fags lady is one guest who offends him. Jon asked Brian who his favorite guests are. Brian said that Gilbert Gottfried is one. Cyrus didn't have an answer for that. He said that it was all one big blur in his mind.
Another caller said that he doesn't think that Artie is a racist. He said that Sal might be but it might be because of the way he was raised. The caller said that he thinks that Artie is just a typical Italian guy. Gary said he didn't understand the differences between that and being a bigot.
Another caller said that T.I. took offense to it when Artie was singing that Biggie song. Brian said that's because he's not a big fan of the show and he doesn't know what Artie is doing.
Jon asked the guys what they thought about Howard talking about dating women after the divorce and not liking doing that. Gary said that Howard just can't stand being out like that and he's really a home body. That's why he had to settle down again. They had to end the show a short time later. Gary threw in a plug for his web site which is finally live. Gary said that you can check that out at BabaBooey.com.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 10:50am.