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-- Friday, February 12, 2016 --

  • Unnamed Vacation Special - Day 5. 02/12/16. 7:00am
    Show opening bits and songs included: Ronnie the Limo Driver Valentine's Day Sex Tips, Robin and JD singing ''Don't Go Breaking My Heart'', prank birthday wishes read by TV show hosts, Daryl Hall performing ''Kiss On My List'' in the Howard Stern Show studio.

    Howard is off all this week so they're playing an unnamed vacation special where they play various segments from the past few years. Here's what they played today:

  • Matt In California - November 5, 2014. 02/12/16. 7:00am
    First up on today's show they played a segment where Howard talked to Monotone Matt about sex. Here's my rundown from that day:

    New Wack Packer, Matt, Finally Gets Some Sexual Gratification. 11/05/14. 7:25am
    After the break they played a clip of some phony names that Sal and Richard sent into a show where they read birthday wishes. They also played a clip of Yucko the Clown's interviews at Comikaze. They also played an Avengers movie preview clip parody. Fred also played Billy Joel's ''New York State of Mind'' as they were coming back. Fred threw in some Gary playing trumpet audio over that. He also played Bill Murray saying ''Baba Booey'' too.

    Howard came back and asked who is ruining that song. He figured it was Gary. Howard took a call from Matt the new Wack Pack guy. Howard asked if he got his hand job. Matt said he didn't. He said she did let him feel up her titties and she licked his balls. Matt said he asked her to do that. Howard asked if he came. Matt said he masturbated and came. Howard said there you go. He said they helped him with his wife. Matt said he hadn't done that in a long time. He thanked Howard for that. Howard said he thinks that he'd rather give him a hand job than lick his balls. Howard said that seems like a lot of work.

    Robin asked if there is something wrong with her hands. Matt said she doesn't have the strength to keep going long enough. Howard asked if she's really sick. Matt said she has muscle wasting from her disorder. Matt said he wanted to straddle her while she was laying down but she had to direct him how to do it the right way. He said she sat on the edge of the bed.

    Howard said he heard that Matt can stick the tip of his dick in his own ass. Howard said he must be pretty big. Matt said he found that out from trying. Matt said he can't get anywhere with that. He said he only got the head in there. Howard said that's impressive. He asked if he's erect when he does that. Matt said it's half and half. Howard asked if he gets hard from it. Matt said he hasn't tried it recently. He said it's been a long time. Howard asked how big he is. Matt said he's almost 8 inches. He said he's like 7 3/4. Howard said he has like 6 so it must be that extra inch and 3/4.

    Howard said Matt really has a lot to deal with. Howard said the wife can't give him a hand job but she did lick his balls last night. Howard said she couldn't blow him either. Matt said she didn't blow him. He said she just licked his balls. Matt said he just took a shower 3 days ago.

    Matt said his wife told him that she'll give him head next time. Howard asked if he masturbated while she licked his balls. Matt said that he did and that's his favorite thing to do. Matt said she doesn't care about the hair there either. He said she just does it.

    Howard asked if she licks his taint. Matt said she doesn't do that. Howard said he's trying to figure out how he did what he did. Howard said he would have had his asshole over her chin or something. Matt said she got him to do it the right way.

    Howard asked Matt if he does anything for her. Matt said that he wanted to rub her. Howard asked him to ask her if she ever masturbates. She said yes. Howard said she should let him do it. Matt asked her why. She told Matt she'd let him do it. Howard said he should do it then.

    Matt let out a belch and said he threw up in the back of his throat. Howard said he gets the dry heaves thinking about giving head to a sick woman. Howard said he's getting them right now.

    Howard asked if the wife ever fantasizes about other men. Matt asked and she said no but when she has dreams she dreams about having sex with Matt. Howard said she dreams about having sex with him but she doesn't have sex with him. Howard said he has to go. He let Matt go and congratulated him on getting his balls licked. Howard told him to call back when he gets head. Howard said that was some sexy story.


  • Alec Baldwin - July 28, 2015. 02/12/16. 7:10am
    Next on today's unnamed vacation special they played an Alec Baldwin interview from 2015. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Alec Baldwin Visits. 07/28/15. 9:00am
    After the break they played a Gilbert Gottfried singing clip and a prank call Sal and Richard made to a pizzeria trying to place and order by whistling it. They also played a ''Brown Finger'' song parody. They played Neil Young's ''Rockin' In The Free World'' as they were coming back.

    Howard came back and said Alec Baldwin is there and he's in the movie ''Mission Impossible - Rogue Nation'' which opens this Friday. Howard said it's the first time Alec has worked with Tom Cruise. Howard said he looks good. Howard said he's sure his wife keeps him in line with that. Alec said she does. Robin said she saw that the restaurant where they met is closed. Alec said it is. He said they were walking down the street one day and he randomly picked that place to go into. He said he saw his future wife in there. Howard said he's so bad at that. He said he can't do that. Howard said he was invited to a dinner party and met Beth there. He said it was very natural. Howard said when you have to make the move he can't do that. He said he and Beth were seated together.

    Howard said he was thinking about Alec. He said he loved the Mission Impossible movie. Howard said he was thinking about his career and how he was Jack Ryan and he left that world. Howard said he thought that was a mistake to leave that franchise. Alec said he thinks he's right. Alec said he left because at that time they had a deal with someone else. He said that they owed that person a deal and they got rid of him to do another movie. Howard said that movie made hundreds of millions. Alec said no one is safe in the movie business. Alec said they've had like 11 guys play Batman. Howard said most of them had been done with the franchise. Howard said Michael Keaton walked away from it. Howard said he thought Alec walked away. Alec said he doesn't think about it that much anymore. He said that dealing with them became very difficult.

    Howard asked if it's tough working with Tom Cruise. Alec said he's only 4 years younger than him. He said that he has maintained himself at a level that's a full time job. He said he assumes his life is scheduled in a way that he can be a father and a producer and act and all of that is a full time job. He said he has to work all day long.

    Howard asked if he asked Tom about how balanced his life is. Alec said that he has to have one. He said they're so busy. He said those guys in the lead have to go fly all over the world now. He said they're going all over to promote the films. Howard said you have to applaud the way he dedicates himself to his films. Alec said he's the last guy they're giving that kind of money to for a film. He said that Ghost Protocol made more money than all of the others so they were shocked by that. Howard asked if he worries about this one. Alec said he does. He said he doesn't want to be the one who jinxes the franchise.

    Alec said he did a movie based on where they were filming it. He said he did this Spanish movie and the movie is very funny. He said this was the 5th in the franchise and it was a bomb. He said that's why he worries about the jinx thing.

    Howard asked Alec about Tom and if it's very serious on the set. Alec said it is. He said they're trying to shoot as much as they can. He said that it's very technical now. He said you do what you have to do to get into the role.

    Howard said Alec has said his first job on a soap opera was his favorite. Howard said his first job was the worst. He said he was on WRNW and he was awful. Howard said it makes him work harder so he never has to get back to that place. Alec said that he remembers a guy named Stewart and they had cue cards. He said this was on The Doctors. He said they'd have a cue card guy over his shoulder. He said his first day on the show you can hear the guy tapping on the cue cards to show him his line. Alec said the guy who played his father said his line and you can hear the tapping on the cue card to remind him what his line was.

    Howard said Alec went to George Washington university. Howard said he thought he was going to be president of the United States. Alec said he did. He said he was in a group of 6 at the college and they all thought they were going to be President. Howard said Alec got the acting bug and then went to NYU. Alec said his friend dared him to do it. He said he had run for president of his class and he lost.

    Howard said he transfers to NYU and his family cried over it. Alec said his mother was screaming at him over the phone. He said he only had one more year to go at George Washington. He said that it was going to cost his parents less to go to NYU. He said he got a scholarship to go there. Howard said he must have been a good actor. Alec said he was like the one straight guy in the class. He said they needed one. Alec said he got in and he remembers explaining to his parents that it was going to be cheaper. He said his mother told him he was insane. He said his father said they should listen to what he has to say when he told them it was less money.

    Howard said for his thesis he got a hold of Al Pacino. Alec said he did. He said he wanted to do a paper about him. He said he ended up leaving NYU to work. He said he didn't have enough credits to graduate. He said in 1994, 15 years later, he had met Al Pacino and he wanted to do a paper. He said Pacino was one guy who kept going back to the stage. He said that most people go from the stage to movies and don't go back. He said Pacino is going back again. Howard asked what kind of pay they get. Alec said he knows people who get $125,000 a week if they're big stars and they have a good deal.

    Alec told Howard about how he got the Al Pacino interview. He said he did it for 9 hours with little breaks. Howard asked if he was nervous. Alec said of course he was. He said when you meet your peers you admire them. He said he admires Tom and what he's doing. He said Tom is still happy and at the top of his game. Howard said he thought he ruined his career when he did the Oprah show and jumped up and down on the couch.

    Alec said that he's doing his Podcast again for NPR. He said he'd like him to do the show. Howard said he doesn't like doing them but he does like talking to Alec. Alec said that they were talking about this documentary about Scientology and the guy who did it. He said they did it and in it they say some very damning things. He said people can say things about you and have opinions but to imply criminal charges against someone isn't right. He said he's not saying they got it wrong but you have to prove that someone did something. He said you can't just throw mud on you and not prove it. He said they say some ugly things about Tom in the movie but he doesn't take it that seriously. Alec said he has worked in the business and he remembers working with Tony Hopkins, Merryl Streep and others. He said that he enjoyed working with Tom and had more fun working with him than anyone. He said he was right up there with everyone else.

    Alec said he was in an elevator at the Wyndham hotel one morning with Burt Lancaster. He said he was pissing his pants. He said you meet Sean Penn and you're like ''Hi Sean'' but with Burt Lancaster it's something else.

    Howard said with the Scientology thing he looks at it in a different way. He said that every religion is wacky and he's not sure why anyone would goof on that one when their religion is just as goofy.

    Alec said that Tom has been in the business since he was a kid. He said he wasn't born on the sound stage. He said Tom became this phenomenon and his career just keeps going and going. He said he's been the biggest for 25 years or something. He said maybe there's something that helped him deal with that. He said whatever you need to do to get through that, who gives a shit. He said that if he's not hurting anyone then it's fine. He said he doesn't know if they're hurting anyone or not. He said he and Tom had a ball working together. He said it's like the height of movie making. He doesn't care what he's doing with Scientology.

    Howard asked Alec if he gets upset when they're done shooting a movie. Alec said that he got really upset when 30 Rock ended. He said he knew that nothing like that would ever happen again. He said they had the greatest writers there. He told Howard about how great it was working there. He said he runs into some of the guys sometimes. He said he has 2 kids himself now though so he doesn't have a lot of free time.

    Howard asked how into politics he is now. Alec said it's zero. Alec said that he wants Howard's opinion on something though. He said that Trump's candidacy is interesting. He said that he's the front runner right now but it's a long way off until the election. Howard said it is a bit of a phenomenon. Alec said if Trump was the nominee it's exactly what we deserve with our system the way it is. He said he would love to see him win and run for president. Alec said he's a huge campaign finance reform guy. He said that these guys are like NASCAR drivers with their supporters. He said you have to raise sick amounts of money to run. Howard asked if he's backing Hillary. Alec said he's not backing anyone.

    Alec said he wanted to do a talk show on a network. He said they told him to do one on MSNBC. He said they were going to give him something and he wanted to do it so he can stay home. Alec said he doesn't do much press. He said he does Howard's show and one news paper. He said that he likes this format better. Alec said he does the show with MSNBC and they wanted to work it out for a year. He said then maybe they'd put him on the network. Alec said Howard does it best. He said that he rolls in and does what he wants to do and they pay him very well. Howard said he has a good life. Alec said he wants Howard's bread crumbs. He said he was going to do that show. He said he went to MSNBC. He said it changed his life. He said that it's a complete waste of time. Howard said it seemed like a good idea. He was going to move his interview show there and develop that to end up on NBC.

    Howard said Alec was an early supporter of Mayor DeBlasio. Alec said things changed there too. Howard said that he got behind him early on. Howard said he was there for him early on. Now they're not even talking. Alec said he has nothing to do with any political thing now.

    Alec said Howard is out there and not really backing anyone. He said if he had Howard's house he'd want to stay home too. Alec said he was out at a charity event one night and everyone loved it. He said a political figure walked in and the guy was tense because he wasn't being recognized. Alec said you could see him writhing in agony. Alec said holding office has been devalued so much in the past 20 years. Alec said this guy came into the room and it's just not the same as it used to be. He said he has a big job and holding this office and it's not what it used to be 20 years ago.

    Howard said he finds senators to be very bright people but he finds it hard to believe that anyone would even want that job. Alec and Howard spent a little time talking about that. Robin was wondering who the guy was that walked into the room. Alec wasn't saying who it was though.

    Alec told Howard how great this movie is. He said it's big budget action and it's great. Alec said when he does a movie like that he wants to fit in with the band. He said you don't want to have the focus on you. He said you want to do it and fade into the background. He said they always want him to play someone with a lot of words to say. Howard said he is that guy. Alec said he is getting old and can't memorize all of this stuff. He said some days he goes home with a splitting headache. Howard said some guys say that it's a muscle. Alec said it's an emotional muscle. He said you worry about getting fired.

    Howard said he remembers when Alec joined Knots Landing. He said that was a show he watched and Alec was the hunk on the show. Alec said he joined that show in the 10th season. He said they were already humming right along. Alec said that the guy doing his make up was Billy Reynolds. He said he used to do Elvis' make up. He said the guy would tell him stories and tell him how great Elvis was. He said that he'd cry telling him stories about Elvis. Alec said Howard is in his bullpen with his crowd. He said when you do a movie or TV show you're in a new group. He said doing TV or film can be very rewarding. Alec said he did Mission Impossible and he got to meet another crowd. He said the lead woman in the movie is a great actress and she's very pretty. Her name is Rebecca Ferguson.

    Howard asked if he watches himself in his movies and TV shows. Alec said he never watches himself on TV. He said that he doesn't want to see what he did wrong. He said he remembers doing things wrong. Howard asked Alec if he ever looks back at a movie and thinks he stunk it up really bad. Alec said you shouldn't do the movie in the first place if you're not confident. He said you can't be cocky. He said you need confidence though. Alec said here are films that he feels he shouldn't have done. He said that some were favors that people asked him to do. He said he was going to do a film once that he had to back out of. He said he had to settle with Universal. He said they told him he had to pay or give them some work. He said he had to do a movie for them to settle it. He said he did Mercury Rising to settle it. He said he did that with Bruce Willis. He said that he just did it to settle the litigation. He said that's what they don't realize when they review movies. He said they don't know how that person got into that room to play that part.

    Alec said that most films made now are independent. He said that they will let someone direct if they wrote the movie. He said they save money doing that. He said they are in the era of the writer/director. Howard said they're two different skills. Alec said that some of them are very talented. He said you are taking a huge chance with them. Alec said that Spielberg is someone who can do a film that not may can do. He said he goes in and makes a movie and he's about how loud a door opening should be and things like that. Howard asked how many guys have that ability. Alec said that Spielberg is the most talented there.

    Howard said Ivan Reitman is like that too. He said he knows why they don't get laughs. He said that he changed one scene to show how just moving his head one way would change it.

    Howard said he heard a story about Alec a where he was told he was getting the job on Knots Landing. Alec said he went to the set to audition for the casting director. He said it's like animals in a stud farm. He said he had to do the audition with a woman named Lisa Hartman. He said that he did the audition and got really detailed about where he was and what he had to do. Howard said you have to look the part too. He said he has to look like he has chemistry with Lisa. Alec said he did. He said he had to throw her down on the couch. Alec said he was the only one in there doing the audition. He said he used to do commercial auditions and there were like 25 perfect looking guys like Rob Lowe. He said that they all knew each other too. He said they'd all be talking about the butch things they did that weekend. Alec said the girls walk in and they're all 25 and perfect looking too. He said it's like 25 Christie Brinkley's walking in with 25 Rob Lowes.

    Howard brought up Robert Downey Jr. who has made a comeback like that. Alec said he was dead on the table and he came back and made like 150 million.

    Howard asked about Goodfellas and if he thought that was going to be great. Alec said they were chasing after a lot of people to do that movie. He said that he wanted to be in it. Alec said that he thinks that directors are primary. He said what DiCaprio has now is that he's talented, handsome and young. He said he has that glow that he brings to a movie. He said he also has Marty as a benefactor. Howard said De Niro had that too.

    Howard got back to the Knots Landing thing. Alec said this was in 1983 or so. He said there were no cell phones. He said he got on a pay phone and called his agent. He said he told him he thought it went well. He said his agent said they loved him and wanted to hire him. He said that they wanted to give him $12,500 per episode and ''25'' for the pilot. He said he thought it was $2,500. He said that his agent told him it was 25,000. He said he was going to make more money in a year than his dad makes in 10 years. He said it was kind of sad in a way.

    Howard said in 1988 he was in the movies She's Having a Baby, Beetlejuice, Married to the Mob, Working Girl and talk Radio. Alec said those were the good times. Howard said if that's really what it was. Alec said it's all about how you learn to make decisions and things like that. He said he did movies that he shouldn't have done. Howard asked if he had someone giving him advice. Alec said he did. He said he had an agent. He said he eventually had to switch agents because the movie companies will talk to who they want to talk to. He said that was one of his most painful moments. He said that his agent cried. He said they were dear friends. Alec said that Hollywood is a system and it changes. He said there is a small group of people that they'll deal with.

    Howard asked Alec if he was upset when he didn't win the Oscar when he was nominated. Alec said of course he was. He said you wonder if you'll ever be nominated again. Howard said he thinks that the year he and Steve Martin hosted the Oscars was the best. Howard said it was a great team. Alec said that there was an odd feeling in that room. He said that the Academy makes 90 percent of their money on that night. He said they have no desire to have the show go long or anything like that. Howard asked if he would do it again. Alec said no way to that. He said everyone who hosts it never wins. He said maybe Billy and Steve win but no one else.

    Howard said he felt it was strange that he took the job at MSNBC. Howard asked if he's enjoying acting again. Alec said he just wants to stay home. He said that he gets offered jobs but no one has money. He said he did 5 trips to do Mission Impossible and his wife came along a couple of times. He said he is the luckiest man in the world.

    Alec said Howard has taken his job and beaten the shit out of it. He said that he is like 58-0. Robin said they had some tough times in the beginning. Alec said that they want to hear those stories but his point is that he's 57 years old and he has two young children. He said none of that other stuff matters. Howard asked if it's relaxing at home. Alec said there is stress. He said his wife is breast feeding their new born. He said that the most important thing is being a father and husband and sometimes he comes home and he's wiped out. He said the rule is that he's happy when he's with them rather than not with them. He said his wife is the greatest person he's ever been with. Alec said he jokes with people that he has an idea for a show he wants to do. He said he has a job out there in the ether and he wants to be on that show. Alec said the show is on now that he would do that you'd never expect him to do. Howard asked if it's a comedy or a drama. Alec said he'd be hosting something. He said the thing is that he'd host Wheel of Fortune if they asked him to. He said he'd host Family Feud. Howard said he's right there with him. He said he'd do that too.

    Howard asked Alec if he wants to go out that way. Alec said they both know people who have made a lot of money in the business. Alec said he is divorced and he has an older daughter. He said he wants to go out with his wife and kids thinking he was a good dad. He said that they're all going to die. He said Howard is going to die. Alec said he doesn't want to die because his life is great right now. Howard said he loves his wife and things are good for him too. Alec said you don't want it to end. He said he just wants his home to be happy. He said if he had a show that he could make money with he'd be set. Howard said he should tell him the show. Howard said if he really doesn't care he should tell him.

    Howard asked why he doesn't want to tell him what show it is. Alec said there's a guy hosting the show already. Howard said he's leaving America's Got Talent if he wants that. Howard said he feels that 4 years is enough for him. Alec asked if they had a bump in ratings when he went to America's Got Talent. Howard said they don't really have ratings. He said they have subscribers. Howard said he thinks Alec cares about his legacy. Alec said when you get to his age you have a financial plan and you have to throw that out and start a new one when you have a new wife and kids.

    Howard asked Alec if he has a list of movies he's doing. Alec said he just did MI5 with Tom and he hopes he gets to do another one. He said he loved working with the director and the people in the movie. He said he did a movie with Will Smith called Concussion that will be out later this year.

    Howard asked if he was heart broken when the MSNBC thing didn't work out. He said they got rid of him after 5 shows. Alec said the ratings matter on cable. He said the way it works is that they make you take other shows when you want a certain show. He said that they bundle it that way. He said when he went to MSNBC the vibe was ''don't complain about the sets and scripts.'' He said they were saying they don't do things in a certain way. He said they're that bundled package that they're forcing people to take. He said they all have good paying jobs and they don't want him rocking the boat.

    Howard said he thought that he and Rachel Maddow were on the same page politically. Alec said he wouldn't agree with that. He said MSNBC has on guests who would never be on another show. He said they don't pay well over there. Alec said they all had no business being on TV and they didn't want him rocking the boat. He said he told them all of their sets look like Soviet police stations. He said they couldn't wait to get rid of him and that's why it lasted 5 shows.

    Howard said he felt like he was getting overwhelmed with the press coverage. He said he was upset with Harvey Levin and TMZ and all of that. Alec said that he did an interview about Levin and he thinks they're going to be coming out with that soon. Howard said that must drive him crazy. Alec said the biggest problem with TMZ is that it's owned by Warner Brothers. He said it used to be in their interest to keep things quiet but now they expose it. Howard asked if he has ever gone to the other actors and brings that up. Alec said they live in a world now where there's a lot of envy. He said he had a guy yelling ''fuck you'' to him at a premiere. He said that he's thinking that his dad had 6 kids and they didn't have a lot of money. He said they live in a world now and there is a lot of envy. He said the NY Times is guilty of what TMZ does. He said everyone is guilty of it. He said they used to just do a little bit of that 20 years ago. Now they bring it all out. Alec said he doesn't talk to those people anymore. He said he goes out to do press and he'll check off The Wall Street Journal and Howard and that's it.

    Howard said it seems like Alec doesn't care about having his picture taken anymore. Alec said once he had his kids he realized that he can't bring them into that. He said one photographer was trying to take his picture and he fell into a baby carriage and on to a baby. He said people don't see that. He said they think this comes with the territory. Howard said that's the envy again. Alec said that he zen'd out for his kids. He said that he sits with his back to the people in restaurants and he wants as little as possible going on. Howard asked if he went to therapy. Alec said when he was getting divorced he was in a custody struggle and you are sentenced to anger management if you say the wrong thing. He said even if you correct her on the time you're forced to go. Alec said his therapist was great. He said his name was Ray Giuseppe and he changed his life.

    Howard asked if he hangs out with any celebrity types. Alec said they're out in the Hamptons in the summer. He said he wanted Howard and Beth to come over for dinner but they're not available. Alec said that friends depend on schedules. He said that Howard doesn't want to go out every night. He said most of his friends are not famous people. He said he sees Seinfeld out at events in the Hamptons. He said that his best friend is Lorne Michaels and he adores him. Howard said Alec's wife is very sexy. Alec said that Howard used to say dreadful things about his ex wife. Howard said she was the hottest woman on the planet. Howard said she was Kim Bassinger. Howard said Alec married one of the greatest sex symbols of their time. Alec asked what happened. Howard said it seemed like a smart move at the time. Alec said that's his greatest regret.

    Howard said Alec is a big time actor and he didn't have to stop the party and marry her. Alec said Beth is lovely. Alec said his wife is a lovely woman too and she lives a very disciplined life. Howard said she does these yoga poses that are fantastic too. Howard asked if the sex life is still good. Alec laughed. He said they may have a third and maybe even a 4th or 5th. He said he needs money to do that. He said he has to host Family Feud or something. Howard said it would be hard for Alec to retire. Alec said it would.

    Howard gave Alec a plug for the new Mission Impossible - Rogue Nation movie. That's opening on Friday. Alec said that the director, Christopher McQuarrie, was great to work with. Howard asked if he can come up and yell at him to do a line differently. Alec told Howard what it's like working with him and with all of the other great stars in the movie too. He said Jeremy Renner is a great guy and he has a great quality on film. Howard asked if he can tell a shitty director what to do. Alec said you just ignore them. He said he has worked with some great directors. He named a bunch and said the good ones know what they want. Howard asked if the shitty director is easy to pick out. Alec said they say ''I don't know...'' after a cut. He said the good ones are clear about what they want.

    Howard said he thinks the politician he was talking about earlier was Chris Christie. Alec said no. Howard asked if it was George Bush. Alec said no. He said the fact that he can't pick him out proves his point. He said Howard isn't even thinking about that guy.

    Alec asked if Howard is done with America's Got Talent. Howard said it is on TV tonight. Alec laughed at the way he said that. Howard was still trying to guess who the politician was that wasn't getting recognized. Howard said he has six more weeks of live shows and he's done with America's Got Talent. He said they're at Radio City. Howard said if his kids were older he'd tell him to bring them. Howard said people love him on that show. He said they want to put their kids on his lap.

    Howard asked Alec to name the show he wants to be on. Alec said it's something he really wants to do and he can't say it on the air. Howard said it has to be The Price is Right. Alec said he'd do it. Howard asked how Stephen is doing. Alec said he's doing well. He said he was at the premiere.

    Alec asked if Howard is done with America's Got Talent after the six weeks. Howard said he is. He said people think he's negotiating but he's not. He said he's really done. Howard said they want to move the show back to L.A. if he's not doing it and he told them he's not doing it. He said he gave them the answer by July 4th.

    Alec said that the show he wants to do is America's Got Talent and the person who walked into the room and didn't get noticed was Howard. Howard said it's really not DeBlasio though, right? Howard mentioned Cuomo and Alec said he's not saying anything. He said Howard can say it. That must have been the guy he was talking about.

    Howard asked when he's hosting Saturday Night Live again. Alec said he's too old now. He said they have a youth thing going on over there. He said they need Seth MacFarlane or someone like that. Robin told him to stop it.

    Howard gave Alec some more plugs and wrapped up the interview. He said he loves that he comes by. Alec said he loves seeing Howard. He said they talk about the horrible missteps in his life but he loves it. Howard said they had a good time. Howard said the movie was great and he thinks everyone will go see it. Howard and Alec talked more about Alec's kids before ending the interview. Howard asked if he got his son circumcised. Alec said it's a hygiene thing these days. Howard said he doesn't think so. He said he's not for it.

    Howard said he can't stand being around too many people for too long. He said he was in seclusion when he was a kid. He said he thinks that's just who he is. Howard said he and Alec have hung out and they have a good time talking. Alec said they say all the right things. Howard said it's perfect. Howard got in some more plugs and then went to break a short time later.


  • Hottest Chick / Biggest Fan - July 23, 2013. 02/12/16. 8:50am
    Next on today's unnamed vacation special they played a Hottest Chick, Biggest Fan game segment. Here's my rundown from that day:

    The Hottest Chick / Biggest Fan Trivia Challenge - Part 1. 07/23/13. 8:25am
    After the break we heard some prank calls Sal and Richard made to a show where they canceled a Circle Jerk due to bad weather. Fred also played a Maroon 5 song as they were coming back.

    Howard came back and said they have the Hottest Chick / Biggest Fan contest now. He said that they have 3 hot chicks and they are hot. He said that they want to find out who is the biggest fan. Howard said they've all been screened by their hot judges. Robin said they have to determine how big a fan they are.

    Howard said first up they have Heather. Howard said she's really hot. Howard said that you can't say that she's not hot. Fred said she's a 10. Howard asked who people say she looks like. Heather said she doesn't know. She said they compare her to anyone who is blonde. She said she's 31 years old. Howard said she's been listening since 1998. Howard said she was a fan of the E! show before that. Howard said she has Howard TV and also listens on SiriusXM. Heather said JD used to follow her on Twitter but now he doesn't. She said she didn't notice really. Howard said they found out that they've all been friends with JD or had some kind of contact with him at some point.

    Howard asked JD why he stopped following Heather. Howard said he heard a rumor that he stopped when they said he was stalking some women. JD said he has not had contact with all of them. He said a few of them he has. JD said that Heather is gorgeous so that's why he was following her. JD said he stopped following her so he wouldn't have accusations of collusion with this game. JD said she posts bikini pictures on her account. Howard asked why she didn't wear a bikini today. Heather said that she felt embarrassed. Howard said her breasts are magnificent. She said they're fake. Howard said they look great.

    Howard asked Heather if she's annoyed by anyone on the show. Heather said Debbie the Pet Lady is the only one who annoys her. She said that she loves Doug Goodstein though.

    Howard said that they have a $5,000 grand prize today. He said this is no meager prize. Howard said that Heather must get hit on all the time. She said that no one is rude about it. She said that she usually dresses down. Howard said she's single too. Howard said she must be picking the wrong guys if she hasn't been asked to get married yet. Howard asked if she's bad in bed. Heather said she doesn't think so. Howard said her personality seems delightful.

    Howard said that the next contestant is Amy. Howard said she's great looking too. Howard said she is sexy Amy. Howard said she has some rack too. Howard asked if they're real. Amy said they're fake. Howard said everyone has fake ones these days. Howard said Amy is tall and thin. She's 5'9'' tall and 123 pounds. Howard said that's a good weight. Howard asked where she's from. She lives in Scottsdale, Arizona. She said she's been listening for about 20 years. Howard said that the questions could go back that far so that could be an advantage.

    Howard asked how Amy met JD. She said she met him in Jamaica at the block party. She said that she was already on vacation down there and didn't go down just for the block party. Amy said JD was kind of rude. Howard said that she's a pretty girl so he's not sure why he would be rude. JD said that trip was such a cluster fuck. Howard said she should be wearing a bikini too. Amy said she did in Jamaica. JD said he's sorry if he was rude but he didn't mean to be.

    Howard asked if JD was mumbling with her. Amy said he did take a picture with her but he was acting like Fred's impression of him. Howard said Ronnie was there too. Amy said Ronnie was super sweet and had a great conversation with her. Howard asked Ronnie why JD didn't make a move on this girl. Ronnie came in and said he's crazy. He said there is something wrong with him. He said he's always got an issue. Howard said that she said Ronnie was a great guy to her. Ronnie said he's always nice. Ronnie said he tries to help JD but he just doesn't get it. JD said he doesn't remember the actual interaction. Howard asked Amy what he did after she took the picture. Amy said he ran off. She said he literally ran off.

    Howard asked who Amy's favorites are on the show. She said she loves Beetlejuice. She said that she loves Howard of course. Amy said she has a special place in her heart for Ronnie too. Howard said she hates Benjy according to the notes. Amy said not being able to answer a question makes her crazy. She apologized to Benjy for that. Howard asked Amy if she thinks she can win. She said she sure hopes so.

    Howard had Megan come in next. Megan is from Orlando, Florida. Howard said that they have some hot chicks listening to the show. Megan said she's so excited to be there. Howard said she has great boobs too. She said they're fake too. Howard said they did a great job with them. Megan is 28 and she's been listening since she was 13. She said her dad is like the biggest fan of Howard's. Howard said that she hates Scott DePace on the show and her favorites are Robin and Jason. Megan said she adores Robin. She said that she hasn't met JD ever though. She said that JD hasn't had any contact at all with her.

    Howard said Megan is very good looking. Amy said she's so cute. Howard said that she must get hit on a lot. She said that she had Eli Manning hitting on her. Megan said she was engaged at the time though. She's married now. Robin asked what her husband does. She said they're both photographers. Megan said that she is a Benjy fan and she has downloaded Online Sweetheart and listens to it. Howard said that's great. Benjy said he likes the song too.

    Howard said they have a fourth contestant in the elevator on the way up. Howard said that they'll take a break and continue the contest.

    The Hottest Chick / Biggest Fan Trivia Challenge - Part 2. 07/23/13. 8:45am
    After the break Howard came right back and moved on to the fourth contestant. Howard said they've met Heather, Amy and Megan so far. Howard said that were checking Twitter and the fans were wondering why he was surprised at the girls being hot. Howard asked the girls if they were influenced by the show to get implants. Amy said she thinks so because her's are pretty recent. Howard asked if they've tried anal. The Amy said no. Megan said she has. Howard said that Robin has tried it but Amy hasn't. Howard said that she's a big fan of Robin's.

    Howard said they have one more contestant to meet. Howard said her name is Lindsay. Howard said she's hot too. Howard said he really has hot fans. She's been listening since 2001-2002. Howard said her boobs are big too. They're real. Howard said she might be at a disadvantage. She said she listened to a lot of the old shows. She said she does what she has to do.

    Howard asked Lindsay if she's ever had an interaction with Lindsay. She said she got a friend request from him and she has a private profile. She said she wasn't sure if it was even JD's. JD said it's not him. He said he doesn't recognize her at all so he doesn't think he did that. Gary asked how many girls he friends in a month. JD said he doesn't know but it's not that many. Gary said he probably just doesn't remember her. JD said he didn't though. Lindsay said she's not sure if it was really his account or not. Howard asked how old she was when she lost her virginity. She said she was a freshman in high school.

    Howard said that Lindsay says that she's bugged by Fred on the show. Lindsay said that she feels like he's very passive aggressive and he could snap at any minute. Howard said sometimes he does get upset. Fred said he's sorry that he disappoints her. Lindsay said that's okay.

    Howard said that all of the girls are very good looking. Howard said that the question is who is the biggest fan? Howard said that's what they're there to determine. Howard had Fred play him some music for the game and then got into it with the girls. Howard said that it's time to play the game. Each girl will get one point for a correct answer. Robin asked if any of the girls had qualification tests. Gary said yes. Howard asked Gary what they do. Gary said they have a 10 question test that they give them. Howard said Gary has a camera on his head today. He said Howard TV is trying something today. He said it looks like an 80's exercise video. Howard said Gary thinks he looks ridiculous. Gary said they gave the girls the test and the girls with the highest scores came in.

    Howard said Avion Tequila is the sponsor of the game so that's where the money is coming from. Howard said all of the girls are very good looking. He said now they have to prove who is the biggest fan.

    Howard said that if you don't get the answer right he'll move on to the next person. Howard asked Heather ''What is Robin's middle Name?'' She got it right with Ophelia.

    Howard asked Amy ''Ronnie Mund is known as ''Ronnie the blank.'' She got it right with Limo Driver.

    Howard asked Megan who the director of the Howard TV show is. She got it wrong when she said Doug. It was Scott DePace and Lindsay got that one right. Howard said that was an easy one.

    Howard asked Heather ''What was JD's much mocked high school name?'' Amy said DABA or DaBadAss. She got it right.

    Howard asked Amy What Gange's first name is. She got it right with Mike.

    Howard asked Megan ''Eric the Midget got his nickname changed to Eric the blank.'' she got it right with Actor.

    Howard asked Lindsay which radio station was his home base for 20 years. She got it right with K-Rock.

    Howard asked Heather about the WWOR TV show and what it was known as. She got it right with The channel 9 show.

    Howard asked Amy what they were going to fly Eric the Actor with. She said balloons and got it right.

    Howard asked Megan who the first celebrity was to go down to the homo room. Megan was having trouble remembering. Amy knew and wanted to answer. Lindsay said William Shatner and got it right.

    Howard asked Heather what the name of the street gang was that Ronnie Mund belonged to. Heather didn't know. Amy didn't know. Megan and Lindsay didn't know. Howard said the answer is The Hitters.

    Howard asked Heather what ex boyfriend Robin referred to as a deep thinker. She got it right with Jim Florentine.

    Howard asked Amy what animal Howard felt Gary should do his tech updates as. She said beaver and got it right.

    Howard asked Megan what Jon Leiberman's rap name is. She said 2 Live Jew and got it right.

    Howard asked Lindsay about how many blow jobs Jon Hein got from girls before he got married. Lindsay didn't so Howard moved on until Amy got it right with 80.

    Howard asked Megan what George Takei's husband's name is. Megan said it was Brad. She got that one right.

    Howard asked Lindsay who Howard replaced on AGT. Piers Morgan was her correct answer.

    Howard asked Heather what Steve Grillo referred to Tracy Millman as which led to him being called a douche. Heather said cunt and got it wrong. Amy said she didn't know. Megan didn't know and Lindsay didn't know. It was ''Intern Wrangler.''

    Howard asked Heather what Howard TV motion picture JD starred in. Heather didn't know. Amy, Megan and Lindsay didn't know. It was Super Twink.

    Howard asked Heather which two current staffers have diabetes. Heather said Jon Hein and Brian Phelan. She was wrong. Amy said Jon Hein and Jason Kaplan. She was wrong too. Megan said Jon Hein and Gange. She was wrong. Lindsay guessed Jon and Leiberman. She was wrong. It's Jon Hein and Steve Brandano.

    Howard asked Heather what song Fred played too fast for Natalie Maines. She said Golden Nickels and Silver dimes. She was wrong. Amy guessed Landslide. She was wrong. Megan said it was by a guy singer. She didn't know. Lindsay wasn't sure either. The song was ''Mother'' by Pink Floyd.

    Howard asked Heather what Scott DePace's invention is. Her answer of The Golf Caddy was wrong. Amy didn't know. Megan didn't know. Lindsay didn't know. It's the Video Caddy.

    Howard asked heather what Fred got his mother for mother's day. She didn't know. Amy said Cookie Puss and got it right. She was up to 6 correct answers.

    Howard asked Megan what sitcom Robin Quivers appeared on in the 1990s. Megan didn't know. Lindsay didn't know. heather got it wrong and Amy said that it was the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. She was right.

    Howard said that's why Amy is the champion. Howard said that Amy has won the 5 grand. Howard asked Amy how she's feeling. She said she's excited. Howard asked what she's going to do with the money. She said she's going to do something fabulous and fun. Howard said the other girls are getting $500 each. Howard had Ken Austin and Jennifer from Avion come in with the check. Howard said Jennifer is hot. Howard asked where she went to college and she said she went to Harvard. Howard said that they have a Harvard CEO over there. Howard said she's no dummy.

    Howard said he has to congratulate Ken on this Avion. Ken said the company is growing very fast and they have Howard to thank for that. Howard asked if Jennifer is married. She said she is. Howard said she's some catch. Howard said she must be a lot of fun too. Howard turned the microphone over to Ken and he said they'd like to hire her at Avion. He presented her with the check for $5,000. Howard thanked Ken for that and for the great tequila. Howard said that they can only have one winner. Howard said that they're all hot though and that's what counts. Howard said Amy is super hot and a super fan. Howard said she did very well. Howard told her to enjoy the money. She said she will. They went to break after that. - As Seen on Howard Stern

  • Pig Virus Dead - October 6, 2014. 02/12/16. 9:30am
    Next on today's unnamed vacation special they played a segment where Howard talked about Pig Virus dying. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Howard Says Goodbye To Kevin Metheney. 10/06/14. 6:00am
    Howard started the show talking about Lady Gaga since Fred played her at the start of the show. He congratulated her and Tony Bennett for their number one album. Howard played some of the song and said he had to pass wind because he just ate a sandwich. He sang along with Lady Gaga's song and said they need a Hey Now! in there.

    Howard said Lady Gaga has been in there numerous times as well as Tony Bennett. Howard said they appreciate that. Robin said she's being introduced to a whole new audience. Howard said the older fans don't know how to download songs though.

    Howard blasted out his fart. He asked if it worked with the song. Robin said it did but not in a good way. Howard let the song play and did his WNBC talk up. Howard said that he got like 50,000 emails from people telling him that Pig Virus had died. Howard said he was the one who told him how to say the ''WNBC'' call letters. Howard said he kept telling him he was doing it wrong. Howard said if he got it right then Pig Virus (Kevin Metheney) would have sent all of his favoritism toward him.

    Howard said he was never an announcer. He said that Pig Virus thought he had to say things a certain way. Howard said the guy made his life a living hell. He said he was one of the meanest people in his career.

    Howard said he had a 2nd grade teacher who made him sick just being around her. He said she evoked such a fear in him that he would get sick. Howard said she was the worst. Howard said she was an old battle axe. Howard said he'd get a fever from her. He said he's getting sick now and he might just drop dead himself. Howard said it's a fucking nightmare. Howard said he would get this fever and tell his mom and she didn't believe it.

    Howard said that he was working in Washington DC and the word was that they wanted him gone. Howard said they wanted him to quit. He said they brought him to town in New York and they wanted him gone. He said they had Kevin there to try to get rid of him. He was there to make his job miserable. Howard said Robin wasn't there yet and that was a whole other saga. Howard said it was disastrous. Howard said they told him that they were going to hire Robin and Fred but they hadn't brought them in yet.

    Howard said it went from bad to worse. He said they wanted him to pre-record all of his bits. He didn't have any bits though. He said that wasn't what he did. Howard said Kevin would harp on him to say the call letters the right way. He said he didn't care about saying WNBC the right way. Howard said they made him do it though.

    Howard said Imus hadn't met him yet. He said it rocked Imus' world when he came in there. He said he was cruel as well. Howard said Kevin was the worst of them all. He said he took great pleasure in torturing him. He said he rocked his confidence. Howard said he put a lot of energy into that job. He said he worked his ass off and earned the number one spot in Washington DC radio.

    Howard said Fred and Robin saw what Kevin did to him. He said he never fully recovered from that. He said for someone to hate him so much and go after him so much was tough. Howard said Kevin sat there telling him how to say the call letters correctly. He said they shared the studio with all of the other DJs. Howard said Kevin would tell him that he didn't know that they were all part of a family. He said they glued pictures of the ''family'' to a poster and hung it in the studio. Howard said they had everyone from WNBC on that poster. He said he was being humiliated there and he'd send out a memo to everyone about how bad he was.

    Howard said Kevin wouldn't crack a smile and it was like he was judging the gladiators. Howard said then he'd throw stuff at him through the glass. He said he was throwing things at him and it was a torture that he took a personal glee in. Howard said he was sadistic about it. Howard said Kevin was there to get him to quit. He said he was just doing his job but he took special glee in it. Howard said Kevin enjoyed pushing him into the DJ oven. He said he did it with a smile on his face. Howard said he took a lot of glee in doing that to him.

    Howard said he read that Kevin slumped over in his chair while working. Howard said he always worked until the day he died. Howard said he had lost touch with him, thankfully, once they left WNBC. Howard said he couldn't stomach the guy. Howard said Kevin worked at VH1 and he lost that. Howard said he was quite successful. He said he could be a charming guy at times. Howard said people in management loved the guy. Howard said maybe he was a genius. Howard said when he came to him Kevin went on to program talk stations and he tried to teach them to be more like Howard Stern. Howard said that was the irony there. Howard said the guy thought that he programmed Howard Stern. He said the whole thing was very warped.

    Howard said he knows Kevin has some children and he had a fairly good job. He was managing a bunch of radio stations. Howard said a lot of people like Kevin. He said he felt sad when he read the news. He said he felt like Batman can't exist without the Joker. Howard said he was the villain in his life. Howard said he had many and maybe he was rough on some people in his movie but not on Kevin. He said he felt he was too light on him in the movie. Howard said Paul Giamatti made him kind of likeable in the movie because he's such a good actor.

    Howard said he felt like Kevin was a huge chunk in his life. He said he was a good sport about the movie. He said he called him Pig virus and he was the villain in the movie. Howard said he didn't remember it the same way he did. He said he felt bad because he was a good sport about it. Howard said he wasn't an angry guy afterward. He said he just laughed it off. Howard said he admired that about him.

    Howard said anyone who can have a long career in the business must be doing something right. Howard said that he was told by his father to never be a program director. Howard said Kevin didn't have it easy. He had a tough job.

    Howard said he did feel sad when he heard the news. He said it felt weird not to have Kevin in the world anymore.

    Howard took a call from Captain Janks who asked if he feels that Kevin's existence in his life helped him with his career. Howard said no. He said he rocked his confidence so much. Fred said he was a distraction. Howard said the guy could have ruined him. He said that it's not entirely his fault. He said NBC put him up to it. Howard said if he had just been straight with him he could have been better.

    Howard said that if he had ratings from the start at NBC. He said he went right up in the ratings from there. He said he's not sure how he did that with the way they were holding him back. Howard said there is no way that guy helped his career though. He said that he went home every day and shook in his boots. He said he's not sure why they didn't just fire him. He said that he stayed there just long enough for Mel Karmazin to find that he was worth hiring. Howard said he feels bad for Kevin's family and that he's gone. Howard said he felt like he should just be in the world. Howard said he does feel bad about it. He said it's insane because he doesn't feel much.

    Howard said he forgets why he had to change his name to Pig Vomit for the movie. He said he was actually Pig Virus. Howard said he opened up the Daily News and read the David Hinkley article about him. Howard said that they called him a creative genius. He said he's not sure when he got that name.

    Howard said he knows some great stories about Kevin but he won't tell them on the air. He said he doesn't want to upset his family. Janks said he has to tell the stories. Howard said maybe he will eventually but it's too soon.

    Howard said Kevin is dead at 60. Howard said he has the understanding that he was put up to what he did by management. Howard said there were certain guys who did their jobs with too much vim and vigor. Howard said he was into that torture.

    Howard said Kevin was very creative at humiliating him. He said he would throw cups of coffee at the glass in the studio. He said that shook him to the core. Robin said something hit the wall one day and she wondered what it was. She didn't know it was a phone.

    Howard said he was like a Nazi vampire to him. Howard said that he'd be on the air live and he'd come in waving his hands telling him to cut. Howard said he hadn't said WNBC at the end of his sentence so he would yell at him about that. He said Kevin was like Benjy but not funny. Howard said he knew how to torture. That was one thing he did well. Howard said he was eloquent in the way he did those things.

    Howard asked Janks if he's had any gay sex yet. Janks said he has not. He said he's still not doing that stuff. Howard thanked Janks for his call and let him go.

    Howard said Casey Kasem's corpse still isn't buried. Howard said last they heard he was in Norway. Howard said his body is above ground and it's rotting. Howard said they're going to get in touch with Casey now and talk to him from the beyond. Howard took a call from Casey and they had a bit put together with Casey Kasem clips. He was checking in from Zimbabwe. They went to break after that.


  • Jimmy Kimmel - May 11, 2015. 02/12/16. 10:00am
    Next on today's unnamed vacation special they played a Jimmy Kimmel segment from 2015. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Jimmy Kimmel Sits In. 05/11/15. 7:00am
    Howard started the show asking how come Jimmy Kimmel didn't have the Apple Watch. Jimmy said he never wears a watch. He said he doesn't see any use for the watch either. He said he's waiting to see someone else at the office using one and showing that it has a purpose. Howard said Ralph got 3 of them. Howard said that their guest today is Jimmy Kimmel. He said he was watching Ralph with the watch and he was turning dials and obsessed with it. He said that he wanted to go see The Avengers too. Howard said that he was going to go with Beth so he contacted Ralph calling him and texting him. He said he wasn't able to get a hold of him. He said he has all of these devices and he can't get in touch with him. Then Ralph called all upset. He said he doesn't take blocked calls and he got upset over that. Then he said that he can't go to the movies because he has errands to run and he has to go to the gym. Robin asked what day that was. Howard said it was Sunday. Howard said he was going to go to the movie himself but he chickened out. He said that Beth told him what he'd have to do and he didn't go. Robin said he needed Ralph. Jimmy said he's a real Avenger.

    Jimmy asked why Ralph has 3 Apple Watches. Robin said one has to sit on a shelf. Howard said Jimmy will be there all show. Howard said he blew off all of his ABC commitments. Howard said he blew off Kelly Ripa. Jimmy said he doesn't like to leave the show. He said he has separation anxiety.

    Howard said he was so jealous that Jimmy had Van Halen on his show. Howard said David Lee Roth came out and he's doing the Karate thing and he's into twirling batons and shit. Howard said that he was spinning the microphone stand and he hit himself in the head with it. Jimmy said it was actually a special stick that he spins. He said it wasn't the microphone stand. Howard said it is karate shit though. Jimmy said he is good at it but on his show he hit himself in the face with it about 20 seconds into the first performance. He said they had been working on getting this to happen for years. He said it's a huge production and David hits himself right in the face. He said there was blood all over the place. Howard said Eddie looked like he was cracking up the whole time.

    Jimmy said David left the stage and had them put duct tape on it. Robin said that he was an EMT. Jimmy said they put a bandage on it and then it went from David twirling to looking like he had a big, bloody bandage on his face. Howard said with rock stars it's about appearance too. Jimmy said he was impressed that he kept going. Howard said he does love those guys.

    Howard said David hates him. He said he really does. He found out for sure. Howard asked Jimmy about playing the clarinet. Jimmy said he does. Howard asked who his clarinet hero is. Jimmy said there aren't too many. He said probably Woody Allen.

    Howard said he took clarinet. He said he faked playing for 6 years in school. He said he never learned. Howard said he would go and pretend. He said he'd play air clarinet. Howard said then they had 4 clarinet players who had to perform together. Howard said one of the guys knew how to play and then there was him and Barbara who didn't know how to play. Howard said she did the same thing he did. Howard said they both faked it the whole time.

    Jimmy said clarinet isn't cool but the flute is even less cool. Howard said it became kind of cool when Jethro Tull started playing it. Jimmy said he players it for the show once in a while.

    Howard said they should have Jimmy play with Gary on Trumpet. Jimmy said the trumpet is one of the cooler instruments. Howard played a clip of Gary playing the 20th Century Fox music.

    Howard asked if Jimmy was hanging with Van Halen. Jimmy said they got right out of there when they were done. He said that Wolfgang is really good. He said you assume that he's going to be great because he's Eddie's kid. Howard said they never do turn out that great. Jimmy said John Bonham's son is great. Howard said that's true.

    Wack Pack Discussions. 05/11/15. 7:15am
    Howard said they have a lot to talk about today. Howard said Alex Trebek is stopping by today. Robin said she's met him. Howard said that show is really hard. Jimmy said it's a dumber version of the show with the celebrities. Howard said Robin did well on the show.

    Howard said that Johnny Carson's second wife died. Howard said that her name is Joann. Howard said she was 83 years old. Howard said she was good friends with Truman Capote and she moved him into her house after she and Johnny split. Howard said she was no idiot either. Howard read about her schooling.

    Howard took a call from Hanzi who has an agenda with Jimmy. Howard said Jimmy's favorite wack packer was Eric the Actor and they lost Eric. Jimmy said that he was enraged to see Paul Newman attached to balloons on the Letterman prime time special. Howard said they were told that it was impossible to do. Jimmy said they could have put Eric in a basket or something. Howard said they should have put him in a basket and flown him into the sky.

    Howard said Jimmy loved Eric. Jimmy said he did. Howard said that Jimmy emailed him about Eric's Amazon wish list still being up. Howard said they haven't taken it down. Howard said that's so wrong. Howard said Jimmy bought Eric a bunch of stuff. Jimmy said he liked to buy things for him and he's sure that he didn't find humor in it. He said he'd buy things that the shipping was higher than the cost of the product. He said he'd send him a single can of Pringles and things like that. He bought him a BB gun too. Robin said the best thing about that was that they'd open a door and let him shoot it out.

    Howard said they put up a poll a few months ago about the best Wack Packers of all time and Jimmy said he could write a 5000 word essay on the subject. Jimmy said he looks at it in sports terms. He said to be the best of all time you have to span decades. He said that Beetlejuice has been around a long time and he's still very strong to this day. He said he's more normal these days but he's still up there. He said Eric pushed a lot of buttons. He said that you might not appreciate Eric as much. Howard said the highlight for Jimmy was when Eric put out a hit on that guy he didn't like. Howard said that the flying with balloons thing was a big deal too.

    Jimmy asked why Howard wanted to fly him with balloons. Howard said he knew Eric would never do it. He said the whole thing was torture for him. Jimmy also mentioned Eric's fear of werewolves. Howard said Eric thought they lived in New Mexico and he was afraid of them when he went to shoot the show ''In Plain Sight.''

    Howard said the reality is that they knew they would never fly Eric with balloons. Robin said it infuriated Eric that they didn't let it go. Fred played Eric's ''Nanu, Nanu'' clip while they were talking about that.

    Howard asked Jimmy if he will ever write a 5,000 word essay. Jimmy said he would if he wants him to. Jimmy said he loved when Eric would stop calling in and banned himself from the show. He said Howard never went to any lengths to get him to call back. Howard said Eric would ban himself from Twitter too. Howard said another great moment was when he said he would never call in and he called in as someone else. Howard thought it was ''Tex'' but he was talking about Derrick. Howard said he's going to give Jimmy a quiz later in the show.

    Howard picked up on Hanzi again. Howard had put him on hold when he interrupted their discussion about Eric. Hanzi said that it's about time. Howard said he has nothing to say anyway. Robin said he has nothing to do either. Howard said he has to get to the gym. Jimmy said he sounds happy today. Hanzi asked if the offer still stands for him having a job with him or not. Jimmy didn't understand what he said. Jimmy said there was never an offer made. Howard said that's what Hanzi does. He said he uses his imagination. Hanzi said he wants to be a writer for him. Howard said he's never written anything. Hanzi said that he has contributed to the show. Howard said he hasn't written for them.

    Jimmy said if you wants to be a writer for the show is send them a packet of material. Jimmy said he likes to see how topical things can be. He said that he'd tell him to write 5-10 jokes about today's news. He said that he can call back later in the show and read them. Howard said that's what writers do. Hanzi said it's not too much work but he just wants to be on the show. Hanzi said he can be entertaining too.

    Howard said Jimmy could use Hanzi for a basement correspondent or something. Jimmy said that would be funny for a few people but it might be depressing for others. Howard let Hanzi go a short time later. They played him out with his Imran Khan theme song and then went to break.


  • Hall & Oates - February 18, 2015. 02/12/16. 10:30am
    Next on today's unnamed vacation special they played a Hall & Oates interview segment. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Daryl Hall And John Oates Perform Live. 02/18/15. 9:00am
    After the break they played a ''Charlie Sheen's Obsession with Kim Kardashian Ass The Musical'' bit. They also played a song parody about Howard and a phony phone call Sal and Richard made to a pizzeria using clips of Howard doing his Elephant Man voice. They also played Pink Floyd's ''Shine On You Crazy Diamond'' and a Baba Booey song parody after that.

    Howard came back and said that he has Daryl Hall & John Oates in the studio. Howard said this is real fun. He said he's there with the band Hall & Oates. Howard said Daryl has been there but John, this is rare. John said he's been waiting for this. He asked why he doesn't call him. Howard said he's looking forward to this. Howard said they have sold over 80 million albums. Daryl said they didn't see the money from that. He said that they were huge in Africa and they didn't see a dime from that. They were making records and not telling anyone.

    Howard said the last time he saw Daryl he said he's not sure he would go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame if they were inducted. Howard said they were finally inducted though. Howard said it's not about that but about how many albums they've sold. Daryl said he went because the fans wanted him to go. Howard asked if John told him to go. Daryl said no. John said he doesn't tell Daryl anything. He said he's his own man.

    Howard said the guys used to write together but then as the years went on they wrote separately. They said they actually wrote separately for a long time. Daryl said a lot of the song writing teams do that. Howard asked John if he ever told Daryl it's not as good as he thinks it is. Daryl said they figured that out themselves. Howard asked if they have to be careful like in a marriage. Daryl said that brutal honesty is important but just not too brutal.

    Howard said they have written so many number 1 songs. Howard asked why the hall of fame took so long to induct them. Daryl said they are a private club and they have their rules. Howard asked if it's a lack of respect. Daryl said that the establishment has their own version of reality. He said they pick and choose who they want in there. Daryl said that they didn't like them for some reason. He said they don't like soul music or R&B or bands from Philadelphia.

    Howard said that he talked to Daryl about dropping out of school and concentrating on music. He said John was doing his thing and they were both at a club with separate bands and they met in an elevator. Howard said they somehow had kismet. Howard asked if they had a discussion in the elevator. John said that their relationship was based on greed. Howard asked how they got to know each other. John said that he saw Daryl's band play once. He was aware of him. Howard asked if they became roommates. They did. John said they went to a radio station after hours and went in and made a tape. He said it was so bad. He said they vowed to never perform with each other. Daryl said it just didn't work. Howard asked how they got into it then. Daryl said they just kept going and going.

    Howard said the first song the guys are going to do is called ''She's Gone.'' Howard said they had put out a few albums and things weren't looking so good. Then ''She's Gone'' hits the radio stations and it was a hit. John said it was big in colleges but it wasn't a big hit until after ''Sara Smile.'' Howard said that Sara was someone that Daryl lived with. Howard asked if John introduced them. John said that he did. He said that he got laid with her roommate so that's how he knew her. Howard said Daryl was so smitten with Sara that he wrote a song for her. Daryl said he did. Howard said it was a long term relationship and She was his muse. Daryl said She was. Howard said when that song became a hit that's when things took off.

    Howard asked if they knew the song was a hit as soon as they played it. They said they didn't. John said they had pretty much given up on that record.

    Howard asked the guys to perform their song now. He said they have a whole band in there. Howard introduced the band and then had them perform ''She's Gone.''

    After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard said he thought that hey were going to do Sara Smile. He said he was cuing them up for that. Howard said he's losing it. He said the song was beautiful. Daryl said the song is very hard to perform this early in the morning. Howard said that song is not about a woman. John said it's about two very sad experiences that they pooled together. Howard said it's a beautiful song.

    Howard said he should remind everyone of their hit songs. Howard said Sara Smile was one. Rich Girl was another one. He played clips of each one as he went along. Daryl said that was a very young voice singing there. He said he can't get high like that now. He said he does like his voice now though. John said he likes the way it sounds now too. He said it's gotten richer.

    Howard asked if they took lessons on singing. Daryl said there are techniques that you have to do and you have to be very conscious of that. Howard played more of their hits like ''Kiss On My List'' and ''You Make My Dreams''.

    Howard asked if the record companies wanted hit songs all the time after that. John said that none of their records sound the same. He said not one of them sounds like another. Howard ran through some more of their hit songs. He played some ''Private Eyes'' and Daryl said that they had a lot of people who helped write that one.

    Howard asked if the record companies know how to pick the hits. John said they put the same amount of effort into every song. He said the songs that became hits became hits because people gravitated toward them.

    Howard said he's heard that the formula for a hit song is that they have to come to you quickly. John said it's not always true. Daryl said that ''Rich Girl'' took like a year to write. He said they don't all come that fast.

    Howard said he talked to Joe Walsh one time and he has songs in his head all the time. Howard asked if that happens to them. John said he has the lyrics for the next song they're performing in his head. Daryl said he's always thinking of a song to finish or something. John said he does the same thing.

    Howard played some more of their hit songs. He played ''I Can't Go For That'' and the guys looked kind of uncomfortable. The guys said they like to change up the songs they perform. Howard said that he got confused about Maneater. He heard that it was written as a reggae song. Howard said they changed it up. John said that he knows when things are right and that's the way Daryl wanted to go. Howard said Daryl can be very angry and opinionated. He hates deer. Daryl said fuck the rabbits too. He said he hates field mice too. Daryl said they piss and shit wherever they are because they don't have sphincters. Howard didn't know that.

    Howard said when they go on tour now it's much different. John said they used to tour in a 68 GTO with 5 guys in it. John said he looks back on it and it was good times. He said he looks back on the 80s and thinks that the 70s were better. John said everything was new back then.

    Howard asked if musicians are experiencing that now. Daryl said that all of the new bands that play on Daryl's house are. He said that they go out there and do their thing. He said he had a couple of young kids who were from England and they only had 80 bucks to their name so they couldn't go home.

    Howard asked if there are problems between Hall and Oates. They said not now. Howard asked about Maneater again and asked what it sounded like when it was reggae. John played some of what that sounded like as a reggae song. John thought it was good. Daryl said they do it that way sometimes. He said that wasn't a number one hit like that though.

    Howard asked the guys to perform it the way they recorded it. They went into ''Maneater'' after that. After the song Howard said that he liked that arrangement. He said he likes it acoustically. Howard said the song is about the city and not about a woman. Howard said that it's about New York City. Howard said they make it about a woman to make it relateable. Howard asked how they work out the harmonies. They said that's Philly. Howard asked how they work out the highs and lows. John said they sometimes do the same notes together and sometimes they do them differently.

    Howard said he heard that they do a song in different octaves. Daryl said that ''She's Gone'' is one they do that in. Howard said he doesn't hear harmonies that much these days. Daryl said that comes from the whole church thing. Howard asked if you can over do it. They said you can. Daryl said you can do it really bad. He said it all depends on the song you're doing.

    Howard said the guys recorded a movie that will be in theaters for one night only. Howard said that tomorrow night is the night. The movie is called ''Live in Dublin'' and it's only in theaters for the one day. Daryl said they did a tour last year and he had played the Olympia theater in Dublin years ago. He said it's an amazing place. He said they had never played there together and they knew it was going to be magical. Daryl said they didn't know it was going to be in theaters. He said a company called Fathom came to them and wanted to do that. Howard said the movie will be out on Blu-Ray and DVD next month. You can find out more about the movie at

    Howard said Live From Daryl's House is going to have another season. Daryl said he's not sure if he can say who is on that. He said he will anyway. He said he has Aaron Neville on this season.

    Howard asked Daryl about being a part of the We Are the World thing. Daryl said that was a great thing. He said that he had some amazing people standing around him. He said the crazy thing was that everyone was asking each other for autographs.

    Howard said the guys worked with George Harrison. Daryl said he met him through Formula 1 racing. He said that he was friends with Jackie Stewart. He said that he just wanted to be in the band and he wanted to play acoustic guitar. They said that they ended up hanging out with George and watching the movie ''The Rebels'' together.

    Howard asked about making a record with George and if they can correct him if he does something wrong. Daryl said they didn't need to do that. Daryl said he was a normal person. John said right after that he was with Tom Petty and those guys. He said he was just looking for something to do. They said they wished they had asked him to do more with them now that they look back on it. Howard said it would have been great if they had written a song together.

    John said he went to George's house and there was no memorabilia there. He said they went to his studio and the whole corridor was lined with gold and platinum albums. He said that's the only place it was in the house. He said that's kind of how he was. Howard said he would have them all over the house. Howard asked where they keep their stuff. Daryl said he doesn't have them anywhere. John said he has them in his back room in his basement. Howard said he used to keep stuff in storage but then he started to embrace some of the stuff he got. Robin said that maybe the really special stuff should be on display. Daryl said maybe he'll put the stuff on the front of his house.

    Howard asked if there's anyone they've hung out with who made them think they've really made it. John said they got to play with some of the guys from the Temptations and that was a big deal.

    Howard said that Daryl was in a band and he won an R&B band competition. They were the only white band in the competition at the time. Howard thought that was pretty cool.

    Robin asked if they feel respected now. John and Daryl said they do. John said that the crash of the music business is the best thing that happened to them. He said they already did it and they don't have to worry about it. John said that things are so hard today for the bands that are coming up. Howard said Dave Grohl said that they came out at the right time just under the wire. Now things are really tough.

    Howard gave the guys plugs for the movie and the web site and also for the Live From Daryl's House thing. Daryl said that show is tough to do. He said that it's a great show and he loves doing it though.

    Howard said the guys look good too. He said that matters. The guys said they like Howard's hair. Robin said he just won a hair award. They congratulated him on that. Howard asked John about how he looks like Baba Booey but not today. John said that Gary is much better looking than he is. He said they've had a running joke going on about that for the past 20 years. Howard said if you want to look like someone in the business that's the one you want to look like. Howard wrapped up and let the guys go a short time later.

    Today's show was over around 11:20am.

-- Friday Live Wrap Up Show --

  • Wrap Up Show - Mike Doughty Sits In. 02/12/16. 11:25am
    Jon Hein started the show introducing his guest Mike Doughty from the band Soul Coughing. Jon and Mike talked about the song Howard loves that he did (Super Bon Bon) and how he felt when Howard brought that up. Mike said they wanted to get on the show and he pounded on him to get on. He said that anything Howard does for them is huge. He talked about how great it was to hang with Howard when they were on the show 18 years ago. Jon asked if it meant as much to him that Gary loved the song too. Mike said no but he is a lovely man.

    Jon said that Mike called into the show to talk to Howard about Ricky Martin writing a song with Bon Bon in it. Mike said he kind of blew it with that because he said he wasn't going to sue Ricky Martin over that so there was no story there.

    Jon said that Mike is going to be sitting in with them for a while. Jon said that today they had Hall & Oates on. He asked Mike if it's true to say that it's too early in the morning to sing a song on a show like that. Mike said he'd do it at any time of the day. Jon said he thinks that you should just wake up and do what you have to do. Mike agreed and said just get up early and warm up.

    Jon talked about the Hall & Oates segment they played and Rahsaan said that everyone is a fan of theirs. Jon asked Mike if he's a fan of vinyl. Mike said it's fun but it doesn't sound any better. He said it's just fun. He said people who say it sounds better are just trying to justify playing vinyl. The guys talked about vinyl and CDs for a short time.

    Jon asked Mike how he started listening to the show. Mike said he was listening to K-Rock and they had this guy talking. He said they had people calling in and asking him to play music. He said there was no talking. This was in the afternoon when Howard started there. He said no one knew what the hell was going on. Mike said he missed his music at the time but he started listening and it was weirdly hypnotic and he just kept listening.

    Jon talked about the segment they played today where Howard talked about Pig Virus dying. He said those Program Directors always wanted to change Howard. He asked Mike if he had people trying to change his stuff too. Mike said they did a lot of stupid things and he wishes that the record companies had yelled at them more. They spent a little more time on that and then went to break.


  • Wrap Up Show - Pig Virus And More. 02/12/16. 11:40am
    After the break Jon asked Mike how many songs he's written. Mike said he's put out 10 albums in this century. Jon said that Howard always asks guests about how to write a song. He asked if the best ones come quick like some people say. Mike said that is true. He said that Rick Rubin will ask people to write 50 songs in a month.

    Jon took a call from a guy who said he heard the Pig Virus thing and he was thinking about how great Paul Giamatti was in Private Parts. He asked if he has seen the show Billions. Jon said he has and he thought the first two episodes were great. He said he's such a good actor. Jon said he thinks people think he is Pig Virus because he did that part so well. He said that Paul never heard the real guy but people think he nailed it anyway. Jon said he can't believe that's true but he does trust the people who told him that. Jon said you wonder how Howard got through those days at WNBC. He said it was really tough. Mike said everyone has that experience and 99 percent of the people just give up. Jon and Mike spent a couple more minutes on that subject.

    Jon asked Mike if he has a favorite Wack Packer. Mike said he has to go with Beet of course. Jon said there is only one Beetlejuice for sure.

    Jon took a call from Michael Rapaport who was pretending to be a regular caller. Jon asked Michael how he feels being in the Celebrity Wack Pack. Michael said he doesn't support that. He said he will fuck with the real Wack Pack but he doesn't condone a Celebrity Wack Pack. He said that no one is wacky enough to be part of that. Michael said he also got Jon's book )Fast Food Maniac: From Arby's to White Castle, One Man's Supersized Obsession with America's Favorite Food ) and he loves it. He said his kids love the book too. He said he noticed he sent it snail mail to him. He asked why he can't get it overnighted. Jon said that's the publisher who sent it that way.

    Jon got back to the Wack Pack thing and talked to Mike about some of the other people they would put in that group like David Arquette. Jon talked to Michael about the Wack Pack thing for a couple more minutes.

    Michael said Rahsaan isn't even allowed to speak on the Stern Show there so he has to get something going. He said he should call Jada to get something going. Rahsaan said they treat him just fine over there. Michael said he's seen the people there look at Rahsaan funny when he tries to speak. Jon asked where Michael is and why he's not there when Gary isn't there. Michael said he's there for him whenever he wants. He said he hopes to see Gary out in L.A. when he's out there. Michael said when he sees that Ross Zapin out there he's going to talk to him about how he still has to pay for his Sirius subscription. He asked what benefits he'd get from being in the celebrity Wack Pack. Jon said they'll have to negotiate something for him there.

    Jon said Michael doesn't seem satisfied about being in the Wack Pack. Michael said he wants a subscription for free. He said he doesn't want DVDs of weak porn or anything in his gift bags. He said that they have to up that stuff somehow. He said they should have some pride and dignity over there. They spent a few more minutes on that subject before they went to break.

    Mr. Skin

  • Wrap Up Show - Phone Calls. 02/12/16. 12:00pm
    After the break Jon said he wishes they had more time for the show but Michael took up a lot of it. Jon said that if you don't want to be in the Wack Pack that's a good sign you should be. He said that he should take it as an honor and not an insult.

    Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Rapaport is a celebrity Wack Packer. He said he's the Eric the Actor of the Celebrity Wack Pack. Jon said that's a good comparison. The caller said that he thinks this is something to keep his name out there too. Jon said he doesn't think the caller is far off.

    Jon took a call from a guy who said Rapaport is kind of like Jeff the Vomit guy to him. He said whenever he hears his voice he wants to throw up. He said he's a complete pain in the ass. He asked how he can be so mean to Gary because Gary is such a nice guy. Jon said Gary loves having his balls broken by Michael.

    Jon wrapped up the show and got in some plugs for Sternthology. They were done around 12:05pm.

-- Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday --

  • The Rest Of This Week Is Archived.
    To keep the loading time of this page a little shorter I've filed the rest of this week's news in the archives. Click Here to view this week's archive.
    • Unnamed Vacation Special - Day 1. 02/08/16. 7:00am
    • Ass Napkin Ed - January 21, 2015. 02/08/16. 7:00am
    • Jonah Hill - January 21, 2014. 02/08/16. 7:20am
    • Howard Wins Best Hair - February 4, 2015. 02/08/16. 8:25am
    • JD Got A Girlfriend - July 14, 2014. 02/08/16. 8:40am
    • Don Henley - December 8, 2015. 02/08/16. 9:10am
    • Richard Anus Drinker - May 21, 2013. 02/08/16. 10:45am
    • Wrap Up Show - Dan Sloss Sits In. 02/08/16. 11:05am
    • Wrap Up Show - Super Bowl Talk. 02/08/16. 11:15am
    • Wrap Up Show - Phone Calls And Wack Pack Talk. 02/08/16. 11:30am
    • Unnamed Vacation Special - Day 2. 02/09/16. 7:00am
    • Benjy Weigh In - May 19, 2014. 02/09/16. 7:00am
    • Donovan - February 5, 2014. 02/09/16. 7:15am
    • Dumber Than A Box Of Rocks - February 4, 2013. 02/09/16. 8:40am
    • Joan Rivers - July 28, 2014. 02/09/16. 9:20am
    • Robin's Washcloths - October 29, 2014. 02/09/16. 10:15am
    • Big Foot And Danielle - February 18, 2015. 02/09/16. 10:25am
    • Wrap Up Show - Paul Sheer Sits In. 02/09/16. 11:15am
    • Wrap Up Show - Big Foot, Danielle And Wack Pack. 02/09/16. 11:30am
    • Wrap Up Show - Phone Calls And Various Discussions. 02/09/16. 11:45am
    • Unnamed Vacation Special - Day 3. 02/10/16. 7:00am
    • Pat Robertson - July 16, 2014. 02/10/16. 7:00am
    • Jerry Seinfeld - June 26, 2013. 02/10/16. 7:25am
    • JD The Script Doctor - November 4, 2014. 02/10/16. 8:55am
    • Sternac - April 16, 2014. 02/10/16. 9:25am
    • Michael Rapaport - January 7, 2015. 02/10/16. 9:40am
    • Melissa Etheridge - October 1, 2014. 02/10/16. 10:10am
    • Wrap Up Show - Ross Matthews Sits In. 02/10/16. 11:05am
    • Wrap Up Show - Celebrity Wack Pack. 02/10/16. 11:20am
    • Wrap Up Show - T.J. Miller Sits In. 02/10/16. 11:30am
    • Unnamed Vacation Special - Day 4. 02/11/16. 7:00am
    • Wolfie At A Phish Concert - October 20, 2014. 02/11/16. 7:00am
    • Paul McCartney - October 8, 2013. 02/11/16. 7:20am
    • Ronnie Hypnotized - July 23, 2014. 02/11/16. 8:05am
    • Burping Guy - June 3, 2014. 02/11/16. 8:55am
    • Funkmaster Flex & Jay-Z - January 21, 2015. 02/11/16. 9:20am
    • Foo Fighters - December 3, 2014. 02/11/16. 9:45am
    • Wrap Up Show - Robert Smigel Sits In. 02/11/16. 11:00am
    • Wrap Up Show - More With Robert Smigel. 02/11/16. 11:15am
    • Wrap Up Show - Phone Calls And More. 02/11/16. 11:30am

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