- Howard Reads Some Email About Benjy And Elisa. 07/23/14. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: Inside the Actor's Studio with Eric the Actor bit, John Fogerty performing ''Bad Moon Rising'' and ''Fortunate Son'' at the Howard Stern Birthday Bash.
Howard started the show talking about how it was Wednesday already and how busy they were going to be. He said they have Scott the hypnotist coming back today. He said last time he was on Sal was convinced he was a turtle and he was trying to keep his eggs from Pterodactyls.
Howard said he was watching America's Got Talent last night. He said he thinks they edit a lot out. He said he thinks they took a lot of him out. Robin said she has some quibbles with the judges over some of the people they sent right through. Howard said sometimes they're moved and they send them right through. He said it's not always a unanimous thing. Robin said if they're sending them through it has to be unanimous. Howard said it's not always. He said he gets over ridden sometimes.
Howard said he should start with some email. He said they had the whole Benjy and Elisa thing yesterday. Howard said Benjy says he's not breaking up but Elisa says they are. Howard said he's no clearer on what's going on after talking to them.
Howard read an email from someone who thinks Sharknado ruined the relationship. Howard said another person is shocked that she ever hooked up with Benjy. Howard said there's a lot about Elisa and Benjy being crazy. Howard said that someone says that Benjy's behavior is odd and maybe Perez Hilton poked a hole in Benjy's brain when he fingered him. Howard said someone else says that Benjy is like the white Ike Turner.
Howard said he thinks that whenever Benjy screws up at work he's going to put cheese in his salad. He said he looks like the kind of guy who likes cheese but apparently not.
Howard read more email about Benjy getting mean at home and how he must be like a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Wide.
Howard read another one about how Perez Hilton is the last person Benjy had sex with.
Howard said after the show yesterday he asked Benjy how he's really doing. Howard said he'd be really upset if his girlfriend said they weren't going to have sex anymore. Howard said it's like punishing yourself. Howard said Benjy is putting up with a lot of stuff he shouldn't be and so is Elisa. Howard said that's not a good relationship. Robin said that's what the bottom line was yesterday. She said they should get out.
Howard said someone pointed out that Benjy was right to put his foot down about the cheese in his salad. He said next thing he knows he's going to have croutons in it. Howard said there were a few other references to the cheese in the salad.
Howard said someone wrote about how picky someone the size of a hippopotamus is about his food. Howard said Benjy said he was okay after the show. He said the guys were talking about how they have seen Benjy eat stripper pussy but he draws the line at cheese on his salad.
Howard said someone wrote about how some cheese must have worked its way in based on how fat Benjy is. Howard said people were shocked that Benjy blew up in front of Elisa's mom too. They pointed out that there's nothing worse than Benjy saying that he's dating her daughter.
Howard said based on Benjy and Elisa's relationship Howard and Robin have been dating for 30 years. They talk every day and they don't fuck.
Howard said he would be so insulted if a girl said that she didn't want to have sex with him. Benjy said they have had regular relations in the past year. He said they have done all of that for the last year. Howard asked if it's a step backward. Benjy said it's not. Howard said there's something wrong there. Howard said he should not be okay with that. Benjy said she wants to feel there's a commitment to the rest of their lives. He said if he's not ready to say yes then there is. Howard asked if she has done that before. Benjy said he doesn't know. He said people can grow and change.
Howard said there is nothing that draws more intimacy than sex. Benjy said they still touch and kiss. He said he feels as close or closer with that. Howard said he would be insulted. Howard said he can't imagine she's okay with it.
Howard said there's something wrong if she's withdrawing an intimacy. Howard said she is not attracted to him. Howard said girls that are into you like to fuck you. Robin said that isn't the case. She said women use the denial of sex as communication. Howard said it's bad either way. Howard said that Robin had anal with a guy who she didn't know at all. Howard said Elisa knows Benjy and she doesn't want to fuck him. Benjy said they have been fooling around and he'd rather not stop and put on the thing.
Howard said he thinks that it would be great to be able to come in and say that she likes fucking him. Howard said that's why you have a girlfriend. Robin said she gave him everything and now she's taking something away.
Howard said his psychiatrist would say something is going on if they're not having sex. Benjy said they are doing some things. Howard said that it's like his wife. Howard said he's just saying that it's not good.
Howard said if he told Benjy that his parents were having a relationship where they don't have sex he'd think something was wrong. Benjy said it's not typical. Howard said it's bad. He said the next chick he hooks up with he'll be fucking and he'll want to fuck. Benjy said the kissing and touching is nicer. Howard said if she was into him she'd want to fuck him.
Benjy asked if George and Brad are in a real relationship. Howard said of course they are. Benjy said they don't have intercourse. Howard said they're gay men. He said if one of them had a vagina they would. Howard said that Benjy is saying he'd treat Elisa like a gay man. Benjy said intercourse isn't the end all be all. He said he is attracted to her. Howard asked if he thinks about fucking her at all. Benjy said sexually there is something about intercourse that's a huge thing. He said touching and kissing is much more intense. Howard said fucking is the thing. He said entering her is like joining her.
Howard said this is about how he's not fucking his girlfriend of 3 years and he hasn't fucked her for the past year. Benjy said he can be in love with someone and they don't have to do that. He said they do have some unhealthy things in their relationship. He said it's not a this or that thing. Robin said he's ignoring that it's a communication thing and he's blocked.
Howard said she's saying that she doesn't want to fuck him. Howard said she's saying she doesn't want to fuck him. Benjy said she's got reasons for that. Howard said if she was his girlfriend she'd be fucking him. Robin said that she has cut Benjy off. Benjy said right. Robin said that is not a good relationship.
Howard said there's a huge problem there. Benjy said there is. He said there does indicate there are problems. He said they know that though. Robin asked if he realizes it's on death row. Benjy said no. Howard said she broke up with him. Benjy said she could change her name and move away. Howard said she might have to. Howard said this might be a bigger problem than his weight.
Howard asked what's going on with his weight. Benjy said he's still losing. Benjy said he would like to lose about 60 more pounds. Robin said he didn't lose what he was supposed to for the contest. Benjy said that got him started though. He said he's doing better.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked where his cap is that he wears for Elisa. Benjy said he wore it 2 nights ago at the premiere. King said he used to do so much shit to his wife and she still fucked him. He said he was the worst boyfriend and he still got laid. Howard got a laugh out of that.
Benjy said Elisa wants to be married. He said he respects that. Robin said if he really respected it he'd get out of her life. Howard said Benjy doesn't want to be married. Benjy said part of him really does. Robin said he should get out of her life. Howard said Benjy doesn't look like Bradley Cooper to her anymore. Howard said now he looks like Benjy. Benjy laughed and said that would be a good horror movie. Howard said he hopes he figures it all out.
- Jimi Hendrix Movie Discussions And More. 07/23/14. 6:25am
Howard said they say they can't figure out what number to use for Lebron James. Howard said they should use the number of his salary.
Howard said he read that Philip Seymour Hoffman didn't leave any money to his kids but he did leave it to his ex. Howard said that she is the mother of the kids though so she will decide what to do with it. Howard said that he didn't want to have trust fund kids so he didn't leave it to them.
Howard said another story he was reading was one about a girl who took a selfie at Auschwitz and she's smiling in it. Robin said that she knows people who took pictures in there behind the fence and they were smiling. Howard said he flew down to the Malaysian airline crash and took pictures but he didn't post them. He said he's smarter than that.
Howard said he was watching AGT and they edit that show really well. Robin said they really do a good job editing. Howard said he's looking forward to next week's live shows. He said the hours are brutal for him though. He said he can't stay up until 11. He said it's really tough. Howard said even on the weekends he's in bed by 9. He said staying up until 11 is nuts. He said he asked his assistant to check last year to see if they went from 8-10. He said it was actually 9-11. Howard said Benjy freaks out about cheese in his salad and he freaks out about his schedule.
Howard said they are coming out with a Jimi Hendrix movie and Andre 3000 is playing Jimi. Howard said he doesn't know if he can act but he's looking forward to it. Howard said he read in Rolling Stone that they didn't give any rights to any of Jimi's songs in the movie. Howard said they say he's going to play All Along the Watchtower and the National Anthem but that's about it. Gary said they were talking about how many songs they're going to be missing in the movie. Robin said the Hendrix family is so weird. Howard said they wanted to use a Hendrix song in his movie and they had all kinds of rules about how they could use the Hendrix song. Howard said they can't have any drug references in the scene. Howard said they guard that music very religiously. Howard said it's so cliche to do that anyway so he's glad they didn't let them do it. Howard said he can't remember what song they used in his drug scene.
Howard said that maybe they can play a Partridge Family song instead of a Hendrix song. Howard said Andre must need to get into character playing his songs. Howard said that's just so wrong to not have his music in the movie.
Howard read about the movie and they explain why the songs weren't used in the movie. Howard said the director says that the movie was set in the pre-fame era so they never went to the estate. Howard said this is how he was discovered and how he became Jimi Hendrix. Robin said he was still writing at that time. Howard said maybe they're on to something. Robin said they'll have to see. Howard said it's like making a biopic about Imus and you don't use the N-word. Robin said it would be like making a movie about Hitler and not having any Jews in it.
Howard said he has a clip of Benjy and Elisa yelling at each other in a restaurant. He played the clip and they had Benjy screaming and a clip of a woman crying after he's given a salad with cheese in it.
Howard said Robin started a travel agency so he has a commercial for that. Howard played the bit where they have Robin saying names of countries in her very own way. Howard congratulated her on her side business. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
- 5 Seconds Of Summer Fans At Sirius. 07/23/14. 6:45am
After the break we heard Matt Evans theme song for the Howard Stern Show contest. Howard came back and said it sounds like a whole opera.
Howard said he was walking down the street and 3 girls walked by and they were probably 7-10 years old. He said they were saying ''Hey, that's the guy from America's Got Talent!'' Howard said he had a good laugh from that. He said they think he's a judge. Howard said he is but he doesn't think of that as what he is. He said that's a fun bit or a side job. Howard said those kids are forever going to think he was a judge from America's Got Talent.
Howard said yesterday outside the building it was crazy. He played some audio of young girls who were hanging out waiting to see Five Seconds of Summer. Howard said they're a boy band and they're bigger than One Direction. Robin said they're an actual band that plays instruments. Robin said she tries to keep up on that stuff. She said she was out there screaming. Howard said Robin is a cougar. Howard had audio of the girls singing one of the band's songs. Howard said he's not sure what they were doing up there.
Howard said they estimated there were about 3000 girls out there with their moms. He said all of the moms look the same. Gary said they're all from the mid-west and overweight wearing khaki shorts and a fanny pack. Howard said they all look like women who have had too much cheese in their salad.
Howard said if he asked his mom to go do something like that there's no way she would have. He said these women are willing to do anything for their kids and they do stupid stuff.
Howard played some audio of Sal and Richard talking to some of the girls down there. They were asking what they were so into with the band. The girls were crying talking about how great some of the guys in the band were.
Howard said this is how Benjy's girlfriend should be acting toward him. Howard played more audio of the girls saying that the band has had more influence on music than John Lennon. Sal asked them to give him a few seconds of Whole Lotta Love from Led Zeppelin. They had no idea what he was talking about.
Robin said they planted a tree in honor of George Harrison and it was attacked by actual beetles. Howard said that's pretty ironic.
- Eric The Actor's Anniversary... Almost. 07/23/14. 6:55am
Howard took a call from Eric the Actor and said he has a bunch of theme songs for him. Fred played a couple of them. Howard said Eric doesn't like the ack-ack thing. Eric said he does not. Howard said it does sound a little bit like him. Eric said not at all. Howard said he could swear it's his voice. Eric said he doesn't like it when they chop up his words to make him say different things. Howard said he doesn't have much of a sense of humor. Eric said not when it comes to that. Eric said he does watch a lot of sitcoms and things.
Eric asked if Rachel (Butera) is going to be on tonight's AGT. Howard said he's not sure. He said he hasn't seen the show yet. He said he doesn't get it until a few hours before it airs. He said they edit the shows right up until the last second.
Eric said 5 years ago on this day he got released from the hospital in Arkansas. He said that's when he had congestive heart failure. Howard thanked him for the call. He said that was a great story. He thanked him for sharing. Howard asked if he has any other anniversaries coming up. Eric said no. Fred played a couple more theme songs for Eric. Howard and Robin were laughing.
Howard said maybe they should make a bigger deal out of his anniversary. He said maybe they missed something. Eric said it was 5 years ago today that he got out of the hospital after being there for 6 days. Howard asked if this is the exact day. Eric said it was the 22nd but it was a Wednesday. Howard said it's not even his anniversary. Howard said it's not the right date though. Eric said a year from today it will be the right day. Howard said he can't make Wednesday his anniversary. Eric said right. Fred played another theme song of Eric's.
Howard said this is great. He called in with his anniversary but he's a day off. Eric said he didn't want to wait on hold yesterday while they wasted the show talking about Benjy. Howard said he's off by a whole day. He said it's not his anniversary at all. Howard said it's unbelievable. Howard said it was just a Wednesday 5 years ago.
Fred played another theme song as Eric was trying to say something. Eric eventually said he's been criticized about the pauses in his speech but he's seen other people doing that on TV. Robin said they don't do it in the middle of a word. Howard said he just did it in the middle of a word. Gary told Howard that some of those ack-acks are actually Eric's. He said he was on a show and said ''ack-ack'' so it's actually Eric. Fred said it is actually Eric. Eric said he had to explain that he doesn't say that. Howard asked him to say that really slowly and explain it. Eric said no. Howard congratulated him on his anniversary. Eric said he would have called in yesterday. Howard said alright and let him go and played him out with one of his theme songs.
Howard said this hypnotist Scott Schmaren came in about a year ago and hypnotized Sal who thought he was a turtle in a past life. Howard said Scott has come back in to hypnotize Ronnie. Howard said that Sal is still going to the guy for tune ups. Gary said Sal comes in pitching the guy every writer's meeting. He said he thinks that he can hypnotize Shuli so he can beat Scott in bowling. Howard didn't sound so interested in that. He said they had to take a break after that.
- Ronnie Hypnotized By Scott Schmaren. 07/23/14. 7:15am
After the break Howard came right back and said that this guy's name is Scott Schmaren which might be the worst name in show business. He said he was a sensation the last time he was on. Howard said he had Sal thinking he was a turtle. Howard had Ronnie in the studio too. Howard said he looks relaxed already. Howard said Scott worked on him beforehand.
Howard asked why the name Schmaren. Scott said he's talking about it right now. Howard said at least it's not Schmendrick. Howard said Scott has written books and he knows Sal contacts him regularly. Howard asked what they're doing with Ronnie today. Scott said he's going to reveal his deepest sexual fantasy.
Howard said Ronnie looks very relaxed. Robin said he looks dead. Howard said that Scott's book and weight loss program are available on his web site UltimateVisionaryMind.com.
Howard had Scott put Ronnie under so they can get to this. Scott had Ronnie go deep into his hypnosis. Howard said he thinks Ronnie just came in his pants. Howard said it's amazing to him. He said he thought the more intelligent you were the less likely you were to go under. He said Ronnie goes right out. Scott said that it's not true. He said that he's had some very intelligent people go under. He said it's also not true that you can't hypnotize some people. He said he's been studying this for over 20 years. He said he used to weigh 360 pounds and he learned that he could change the way he saw himself and he was able to lose the weight and keep it off.
Howard asked if they're going to learn what Ronnie's ultimate sex fantasy is. Howard said they may have already heard those stories on the show. Scott said they'll find out. He talked to Ronnie a little more and asked him to go into his mind and find the sexual part of it where he has his fantasies. He said that fantasy hasn't happened yet. He asked Ronnie to pull that fantasy out now and look at it and explore it. He told him to explain what he's experiencing.
Ronnie wasn't saying anything. Howard said he thinks he's dead. Scott said he's exploring. Howard said he can't imagine there's a brain in there.
Ronnie said there were a couple of girls there. He said he's just talking to them. Ronnie said he's in some house or something. Ronnie said he couldn't tell what the girls looked like. Scott asked what he wants them to look like. Ronnie said they're smokin' hot. He said one is a dirty blonde. He said another one is a pale skinned red head. Ronnie was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He said he was in the living room. Scott asked what he wants to do with them. Ronnie said he feels weird. He said he has a lot of anxiety. Scott had him relax.
Scott got Ronnie back into it and found out he wanted the girls to undress each other. Scott had him go through that story and Howard asked if they can just make Ronnie a turtle. Scott laughed.
Scott asked Ronnie what the girls were doing. Ronnie said the blond is eating out the red head. Ronnie started to laugh. He said it's like a movie and it's fucking great. Ronnie was laughing so hard he couldn't talk. He just kept saying ''This is great!'' Ronnie said he should tell them to come hang out so he can fuck them. Ronnie said this is awesome man. Ronnie said he should be there because it's fucking great.
Ronnie said he has his clothes off now. He kept saying this is fucking great. Ronnie was laughing and said they were on the floor now and they're going at it. He said he has one girl up on her knees and he's fucking her in her ass. Robin was cracking up. Ronnie said the girl is eating out the other girl's pussy. Ronnie said this is in his house. Ronnie was laughing which made Robin laugh. Howard was cracking up too. Howard said he wants to be put in that house.
Ronnie said he's fucking the red head now. Ronnie said he's doing the red head now. He said he's sucking on her boobs. Then he laughed and said the other girl is eating her ass now. Ronnie said they should be there with him right now. Ronnie said he can't control this shit. He said it's out of control. He said one is sucking on his balls and the other is blowing him. Howard said Ronnie is going to cum. Scott said he might.
Scott asked if Ronnie is having a good time. Ronnie said he is. Ronnie said the girls are going nuts. Ronnie said he doesn't even know where he is anymore. He said this is fucking awesome though. He said he has no idea what he's missing over there.
Ronnie said this is going to go on all night and days on end. Ronnie said what they're going to do is take a break. He cracked up. Scott said his glasses are all fogged up. Ronnie said they were going to play naked Monopoly. Scott told him to start that now. Ronnie said he's at a table and drinking. He said one is drinking vodka and cranberry and the other is drinking something dark. He said he's drinking his Tang and Tonic. He said don't forget the lime. Ronnie said they're playing Monopoly but one of the girls is hungry. He said they're going to order pizza. He said they're going to drink more and go back to the carpet on the floor. He said there's something about that carpet. He said it's blue. He said he doesn't know whose house it is but he wants to live there.
Howard said the big, black pizza guy just showed up there. Scott asked whose house it is. Ronnie said it's not his. Ronnie said he's back on the carpet and the girls are caressing his body. He said they're tickling his asshole but being real gentle. He said it's really cool. He said he's got the best fucking hard on from it. Ronnie said they're tickling around his asshole and stuff. Ronnie said the other girl is touching his balls very lightly. He said she's got great nails. He said they're long and bright red. Ronnie said she's doing it very lightly. Howard told him to demonstrate it on Scott the Hypnotist. Scott told him not to.
Scott asked what else is going on. Ronnie said this is great and it's like being in heaven. He asked what else he could ask for.
Ronnie said ''Whoa!'' and said the girls flipped him over. He said whatever they were doing was great. Ronnie said the red head is amazing. He said she's a real red head too. He said you need the real fucking red head if you're with one. Ronnie said she's tickling his nipples with those nails. Howard sounded grossed out.
Ronnie said the girls says she wants to suck on his nipples like he was a chick. He said his dick is standing up like a pole, dude. He said the other girl is getting turned on. He said she's tickling his dick from top to bottom. Howard said he's going to throw up.
Ronnie said that the girl is holding his cock real lightly and she put her mouth right on the head of his cock. He said she has it real tight in her mouth and she's stroking up and down. He said it's unreal. Ronnie said the other girl wants to take a break. He said they're going back to play Monopoly again. He said they're drinking too. He said this is fucking great. He said it's like 3 in the morning and he hasn't cum yet. He said it's like they're holding back. Ronnie said they're drinking and playing Monopoly. He said he owns Boardwalk and Park Place. He was making deals with the girls on what he owns on the board.
Scott asked who has bigger tits. Scott said the blond has really nice tits. He said the red head has nipples that stick out like pencil erasers. He said it's fucking insane. Ronnie said this is some fucking night. He said he's back on the carpet again and the red head is eating out the blond. He said he's now trying to stick his dick in the blond. He said she's mad because he's giving more attention to the red head. Now he's eating her ass out and she's calmed down. He said she's okay now. He said now he's fucking her and it's all good. He said the red head is moaning like a mother fucker. He said she's moaning at the fucking moon.
Ronnie said they were stopping again. He said they're going back to play Monopoly. He said they don't want to blow their loads. They're waiting for the sun to come up. He said now they're back at the table. He said one chick is upset because she went to jail. He said she's all bent. Ronnie said he explained to her that you can pay to get out of jail. Ronnie was explaining the game to Scott. He said they ran out of Vodka so they're in deep shit. He said it's too late and they can't go to the store. Ronnie said the girl is going to drink gin and tonic with him.
Ronnie said they're drinking and playing and now they're back on the floor again. Ronnie said it's 4:30 in the morning. He said they're back on the floor and running out of things to do. He said they're trying to figure that out. He said the red head said ''You eat her out and I'll lick your asshole and balls at the same time.'' Ronnie said it's all good. He said you gotta get the real red head. He said they have the little boobies.
Ronnie said the girl wanted to get back with the other girl. He said something is wrong there. He said they're making out now. Ronnie said she's telling him to slap her ass so he'll do that. He said he'll kick her in the fucking ass. Ronnie said now she wants him to fuck her so he's doing it. He said he's fucking her from behind, dude. Ronnie said they want more booze so they're back at the table. Howard told Scott to move him along so they can get done with this.
Scott had Ronnie move forward. Ronnie said the chick is making out with the other chick. Ronnie said the girl wants him to jerk off on her. He said the blond is going to eat out the red head and he's going to jerk off on her tits. Howard told him to finish. Ronnie was going ''Whoa!'' and said that was some load. He apologized because he got some on her face. He said she didn't care. He said she's licking it and now she's turned on and on fire. Ronnie said she's on fire. He said she's grabbing all the cum and putting it in her mouth.
Howard said Ronnie just soiled his suit. Howard told Scott to put Ronnie back under. Scott told him to relax and clear his mind. Ronnie was sweating. Scott told him to relax. Ronnie kept saying he's sweating. Howard said he just fucked two girls, that's why.
Howard gave Scott some plugs and mentioned the Clean, Burn and Shape weight loss program he has. You can find that on his web site. Howard said it's amazing what he just saw. Howard said Scott has a book called ''Stepping Stones to Success'' that's available on his web site too.
Howard asked if they can make Ronnie think that he's JD's girlfriend. Scott said it's up to Ronnie. Howard said they have a few scenarios and some of them were making him come on to Robin or Howard. Howard said they could make him think he's Jimmy Kimmel and the host of a TV show. Scott asked if they could make Ronnie turn into Howard. Howard said what they just did was so perfect. Robin said they may not be able to top it. Scott said maybe they should save it until next time.
Fred said he would like to see him as JD's girl. Howard said maybe they should give it a try. Scott put Ronnie under and told him he was going to be a beautiful woman and he's going to be madly in love with JD. Ronnie came out and said his name is Madeline. He said he was a brunette and he's pretty hot. Scott said that JD is there. ''Madeline'' said she would like to meet JD. Scott asked what she would say to him. Madeline said she didn't know.
JD came in and Scott had Ronnie open his eyes and tell JD whatever he wanted to. Madeline said hi to JD. JD asked how she was. She said she was fine. Madeline said JD is okay. JD said she's beautiful. Madeline said he's a good looking boy. Scott asked what Madeline would do with JD if she could be with him. She said she would go out with him. JD said he'd take her out to Nobu or something. He said they could have sushi or something. Madeline said that she doesn't like that. JD said maybe they can play Monopoly. Madeline said she's played that before. Howard said JD is striking out with Ronnie.
Scott asked what Madeline likes about JD. She said she likes his profile. She said that she doesn't know JD that well. Howard said he knew they should have stopped. Howard said every woman is turned off by JD.
Scott asked Madeline where she would like to go. She said she'd like to go to an Italian place. She said that she'd like a nice dinner. JD asked if she kisses on a first date. Madeline said it all depends. She said she'd like to go to a romantic place after dinner. She said that she'd like to go to a quiet music lounge and have some drinks. Scott asked what her favorite drink is. She said a cosmopolitan.
Madeline said that she wouldn't have any panties on. She said she'd be in a braless dress. JD said that's fine with him.
Scott asked Madeline to go over and give JD a big kiss. Madeline said she's not sure she's ready for that. JD said he's not sure either. Madeline said maybe JD should make the move on him. Howard told JD to hold her hand. Madeline said that she's very sweaty at the moment. JD was holding hands with Madeline. Howard asked how that felt. Madeline said he's looking at JD's profile and getting more sweaty. Howard said he wants JD to look at her eye to eye. JD said he can't. Madeline asked what's wrong. JD said this is very weird. Madeline asked why he won't hold his hand anymore. Madeline said it's very hot in there.
Scott put Madeline back under and told her to relax. He brought Ronnie back. Howard said Scott is the greatest. JD said he has to wash his hands. Howard told him to go ahead.
Howard had Scott wake Ronnie up a little bit. He said he'd like to leave him as Madeline all day. Howard gave Scott some more plugs for his stuff. Howard asked what he's doing with Sal. Scott said he wants to be a better father and a better writer for the show so he's working with him on that.
Howard told Scott to bring Ronnie out of his hypnosis. Scott brought him out of the deep state. Howard asked Ronnie if he remembers anything. Ronnie said he's fucking sweating. Howard said he was a busy boy. Howard said his glasses are all fogged up. Ronnie asked what's going on. He said he just feels like he's been through the war. Howard asked if he remembers anything. Ronnie said there was something with some girls or something. He said he must have been dreaming or something. Howard asked if he remembers being JD's girlfriend. He said he remembers something about it. Howard said he's going to take a break now.
- Phone Calls, Hypnosis Discussions And More. 07/23/14. 8:00am
After the break Howard came right back and asked if Fred was going to play a song. Fred said he was going to play a prank call. Howard told him to go ahead and play it. The call was one Sal and Richard made to a flower shop where they had clips of James Brown giving the guy the message to write down. Howard and Fred were cracking up hearing the call. Fred played a James Brown song after the call.
Howard said that was the real James Brown ordering the flowers. Howard said he hopes that's how the guy plays James Brown in the movie. Howard said he hopes they don't white wash that movie and make him sound like some guy from the north. Howard said he has to mumble like that.
Howard said they told Scott that it would be cool to hypnotize Benjy into thinking he was having sex with his girlfriend. Howard said Scott says he can do that.
Howard said people ask if that's real and it's 100 percent real. He said Ronnie is still out of it. He said he went to the bathroom and Scott has to try to bring him back to being the old Ronnie. He said he's way out of it.
Robin said that it was like Ronnie was really in the room with those girls. She said that his fantasy was to be in a room with two girls and to keep stopping sex to play Monopoly.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was wiping tears from his eyes and almost ran off the road. He said it was the funniest thing. He said they have to play that a lot. Howard said they do have it on video so maybe they'll put it up on the internet next. Howard said that Ronnie was really sweating and had a stain on his shirt.
The caller was a truck driver and Howard said most guys say they ''drive truck'' and not ''a truck.'' He wondered what that's about. The caller said maybe it just sounds cooler.
The caller asked what the chances of him playing the Tan Mom game are. Howard said he doesn't have any money to play today. The caller said he'll try again another time.
Howard said that Ronnie was having a good time in that hypnosis. Howard said he wanted to be there with him. He said that he was jealous. Benjy said it was amazing and he wonders what the potential is there.
Howard wondered if Scott could hypnotize someone who is paralyzed and make them think that they were able to walk. Howard said Scott said he would like to see if he can get a guy like that to have an erection and give him that experience.
Robin said she liked how Ronnie seemed to be talking to the girls while he was under. Howard said everything involved ass eating in that fantasy too. He said everything was fine when he was eating that ass. Fred said it was also interesting how he has that red head fantasy. Howard said he's a creep. Robin said he was talking about her tickling his balls and dick.
Ronnie came in and said he's still in a bit of a fog. He said he remembers some of what he had going on. Howard said he was laughing and saying that it was the best night of his life. Ronnie said he remembers sweating. Fred said his glasses were steamed up. Ronnie said he just had to clean them. He said it looked like he cried on them or something.
Ronnie said he's all sweaty. Howard said just wait until he hears it back. Ronnie said he remembers something about talking to JD as a girl. Howard said he was JD's girlfriend. Ronnie said ''Oh boy.'' Robin said he almost cried when JD took his hand away. Ronnie didn't remember that. He said there are parts he doesn't remember. Howard said his name was Madeline when he was a girl. Ronnie said he doesn't even like that name.
Howard said the best part was when he was in his sexual fantasy and playing Monopoly. Howard asked if he plays that a lot. Ronnie said he did when he was a kid. Howard told Ronnie about some of the things that he was talking about while he was under. Ronnie said he remembers there was some wild sex stuff. He said everyone was doing everything.
Howard asked if he remembered some of the things he was doing. Ronnie did remember bits and pieces. He didn't remember cummng on the girl's tits. He said he didn't remember waking up either. Howard said he just had the night of his life. Ronnie said when he woke him up he wasn't able to get off the couch. He said it's a weird feeling.
Howard let Ronnie go after that. Ronnie threw in some plugs for the movie ''My Man is a Loser'' which opens on Friday and is available On Demand too.
- Hanzi Offered A TV Show? 07/23/14. 8:20am
Howard took a call from Hanzi who sounded like he was out of it. Hanzi said he was offered a TV show but he's not sure how legitimate it is. Howard asked Gary what's going on with that. Gary said the guy has been trying to contact Hanzi but Hanzi thinks it's them fucking with him. Howard said the guy may be legit but he's not one of them. Hanzi said he believes that anyone giving him a chance has to be approved by Howard or it won't happen. Howard said he's going to get the guy on the phone.
Howard picked up on this guy John who said he's been trying to get a hold of Hanzi for about a month and a half. He said he tracked him down on the web and he keeps texting him there. He said Hanzi thinks that he's one of the staff messing with him. John said he has been producing for years and he has something for Hanzi. He said he wants to do a show that stars him and it would be like a Curb Your Enthusiasm type of thing. He said that he'd go out to conventions and try to capitalize on being a Wack Packer. Howard asked if he has spoken to any networks about it. John said he has up in Canada. He said he can't go forward unless he has someone signed to the show. John said he has been trying to get a hold of him but half the time he thinks it's someone from the show. Then he wants a police check on him or something. Howard said the guy is a mental case.
Hanzi said he never asked for a police check. John said he knows he didn't believe him. Hanzi said the guy is improvising now and he's saying that he's delusional. John said he just wants to talk to him and meet him. He said he just wants to talk. Howard said Hanzi is paranoid. Robin said this is what he would have to deal with every day. John said he'd rather work with him than Eric the Actor.
Howard asked what kind of money they could give to Hanzi. John said the budget might be a couple million depending on who he gets behind it. He said that they'd work something out with him. He said Hanzi would have to agree that they could negotiate based on the budget they procure. Howard said he wants to be frank with him. He said Hanzi is earning nothing right now so can he double that. John said he can. Howard said this is a very lucrative deal for Hanzi. John said all he has to do is take the tinfoil hat off his head and meet him for coffee.
Hanzi said he's sure this is the first Howard's heard of it. Howard said it is. Hanzi said he doesn't want to go through the whole thing and then find out there's nothing there. Howard said it sounds like he's going to go out and pitch the show if he agrees to it. John said he will do that but he can't guarantee it'll be picked up. He said he will do his best and see what he can do. John said he is a TV producer and he would like to try. He said he lives about 30 minutes from Hanzi so it could work out.
Howard asked Hanzi what he wants to do. Hanzi said he wants some other acting gigs. Howard said the guy wants him to star in his own show and now he's asking for more. Howard said Hanzi wants a show like Friends to offer him a role. Hanzi said he wants a small role in something. Robin said this is why he'll never get out of that basement. Howard said he has nothing to lose.
Howard said Hanzi sounds like Eric the Actor now. Robin said he's looking for excuses so he doesn't have to do anything. Howard said he'd give up if he were John. John said he told Hanzi that if he didn't sign on soon he would approach Eric the Actor next. He said he has to act soon.
Gary said Shuli was telling him that Hanzi's battle cry is ''Why can't I get work like Eric?'' Howard said he's out of the Hanzi business if he doesn't do this. Howard said he should agree to talk. John said he is available at any time. Robin asked if he'll call him back. Hanzi said he will but... He started laughing. Howard asked what they're going to call the show. John said they were thinking Wack Pack but Howard told him he can't use that. Howard said he could call it ''Parents Worst Nightmare.'' Hanzi said his whole thing is that there are TV shows that film there all the time. Robin said they're not calling. Howard said this is his only offer. Hanzi said he knows for a fact that there are people who want to offer him stuff but Howard won't allow him to do it. Howard wished John luck with this. John said he did everything he could. Hanzi said all he's saying is that it would make more sense... Howard cut him off and said he's getting this offer and not taking it.
Jon asked Hanzi if he has his number. Hanzi said he thinks so. Howard said of course he does. He said he doesn't have any other numbers. Howard said he can do what he wants. Howard said if he wants to call then do it. Howard said he's not sure if John is a legitimate guy but he claims to be a producer. John said Hanzi knows how to get in touch. He said if he wants to then he's there.
Howard said he has so much to do and it's already 8:30. He said he has to go. He played Hanzi a theme song. Hanzi told him to hang on. Howard played another song parody.
John said that's what he hears in his head. Hanzi told Howard to use his powers to stop people from harassing him on Twitter and Facebook. Howard played him another song parody.
Howard said Hanzi doesn't need to be on Twitter. Hanzi said his computer is being hacked. Howard said no one cares. Hanzi said he knows Howard can get away with that. Howard said these delusions only seem real to him. He kept trying to hang up but Hanzi kept talking. Howard played him yet another song parody... and then another. They went to break after that.
- Top 5 Songs. 07/23/14. 8:45am
After the break we heard an Evil Dave clip where he was unable to say the word condolence. We also heard a prank call High Pitch Eric made to a pharmacy asking for twat cream. Fred also played Nine Inch Nails ''Closer'' as they were coming back.
Howard said that call is the greatest. He laughed as it was playing. Howard said he has to check the top 5 songs. He said at number 5 was Sam Smith. Howard said that the Sam Smith song reminded him of the Tom Petty song ''I Won't Back Down'' but slower. He said that put him in the mood to hear that so he had Fred play that too. Howard said he has a rich friend who had Tom Petty playing in his living room. He said that you tend to appreciate something like that. He said it was so weird. He said he was like 2 feet from Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Howard said if you have a couple billion it's not that big of a deal.
Howard said that was one of the most surreal nights of his life. He said the year after that the guy had Elton John sitting in his living room playing a whole concert. Howard said it was pretty awesome. Howard said he hast been invited back since. Howard said people tend to get sick of him.
Howard said he was the only jerk off paying attention that night. He said people were just milling around and talking. He said he sat there and enjoyed the entertainment. He said maybe he wasn't social enough.
Howard said the number 4 song was Nico and Vinz and at number 3 was Ariana Grande. Number 2 was Iggy Azalea and at number 1 was Magic. Howard said he's unfamiliar with every song in the top 5. He said he's proud of that too.
- Matthew Sandusky Interview Audio Clips. 07/23/14. 8:50am
Howard said he has so much stuff going on there. Robin said he mentioned he had an interview with the son of Sandusky. Howard asked if she wanted to hear that. Robin said it's still on her mind.
Howard played a clip of Matthew Sandusky talking to Oprah Winfrey. Howard said there are a lot of clips. Howard said Matt isn't his biological son. Howard said they already had a son and they adopted Matthew. Howard said he came clean to Oprah. Howard played one where he talked about the wrestling and showering ritual. Matt was talking about how Jerry progressed to grabbing his genitals when he'd throw him as a child. He said he moved on to taking a shower with him in the locker room. Matt said that's where a lot of the sexual abuse happened. He said wrestling was another thing that he'd do. He said he would blow on his stomach and lift up his shirt and just lay on him. Matt said Jerry would be aroused and just laying on you.
Howard said imagine that guy, who is no beauty, laying on you. Howard said it's kind of a bummer. Howard said the bedtime ritual will really make Robin nuts. Robin said maybe this is what people should watch for. Howard said you'll know it when you see it.
Howard played another clip where Matthew was talking about the bedtime ritual and Oprah was asking him to explain it in detail. Matt was saying that he had to sleep in shorts because Jerry would tell him his body had to breathe. Howard said Oprah was so riveted that she put her fries down to listen. Matthew said that he'd tickle him and then roll around and wrestle around with him on the floor. He said it became more sexual in nature as he went on. He said he'd move up to his genital area. He said it wasn't blowing anymore. He said then it was oral sex. Fred let out and ''Oh!'' when he heard that. Howard did too.
Howard played a bit they created about Jerry Sandusky. Howard said they can only hope that he's showering with guys who rape him in prison. Robin said guys like that are such a target they might be kept away from the rest of the prison population.
- Ghost Stories. 07/23/14. 9:00am
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he believes in any ghosts or spirits. Howard said there's no such thing. Howard said there's never a camera around when a ghost is there. Howard said there's no reason for them to disappear. They don't have to be afraid of you. Robin said it's the same thing with Aliens. Howard said she's right. Howard said you're alone. There is no ghost and you're not going to any magical place. He said we're a fluke.
The caller said he was watching Celebrity Ghost Stories recently and the woman was so on about what she was saying. Howard said that it's show business. Howard said he has a friend who was asked to be on one of those shows and he didn't have a ghost story. He said the show said they'd write him one. Howard said that there are no ghosts. The caller, Vince, said we can't be alone. Howard said we are. Vince asked what happens when we die. Howard said that's it, you're just gone. Vince said he knows there is something else out there. He said he knows it. Howard asked what his IQ is. Vince said he has never been tested. Howard said only an idiot would believe in anything he doesn't believe in.
Vince said there is another side you go to when you die. Howard asked what happens when you go there. Vince said you go to a purgatory kind of place. Robin asked why you would do that. Howard said this guy sounds like Ronnie when he's hypnotized.
Vince went on to say that you have to wait on a decision on where you go next. He said that it's not just God but other entities that decide where you go. Howard said how about this. He said you die but then you're stuck on Earth until Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg talk to you and then you get to walk up to heaven. Vince asked if he has had anyone who died in his life and had them show up in a dream. Howard said it's never happened. He said his grandfather would have visited if it was a real thing. Vince said his grandfather has visited him. Howard said that's called delusion. Vince said in the movie Ghost... Robin said he's basing his whole life on a movie. Vince said in the movie there's one scene where dark spirits take the bad guy away. He said the guy who wrote it experienced something like that. Howard said he really has to go. He said he can only put up with that for so long. Robin said if he wants it to be true then it can be true for him.
Benjy asked if Howard believes there is no intelligent life elsewhere. Howard said he does. Benjy asked if they found out there was one day would he believe. Howard said they never will find that out. Benjy said there are people he respects who believe there is. Howard said there is no other life. He said this is it. He said there are no ghosts either. He said that's it. Benjy said they say the probability that there isn't is impossible. Howard said this was a freak accident of astronomical proportions. Howard said that we're near a sun that's not too far or too close. He said the odds of it happening are too great. Robin said the universe is infinite though. Howard said there is not life anywhere else. Robin said there could be.
Howard said you just enjoy this while you have it. He said you want to leave the planet in a clean condition. Robin said she read about a woman who wanted her ashes to be put in the Atlantic Ocean and they handed her off to different people to get her there. Howard said it's like Casey Kasem's body. Robin said they're just hoping she gets to New York.
- Kerri Kasem Interview Clips. 07/23/14. 9:10am
Howard said Kerri Kasem was on Access Hollywood Live talking about how her father's body disappeared. Howard said she's going around talking to everyone but them. Howard said she may come in though.
Howard played a clip of Kerri talking about her father's wife and how she's playing games trying to upset them. She said that it's not going to happen. She said it's sad. Howard said this is the biggest story in radio right now. He said that's how little is going on in radio right now. Howard said he's not sure Casey did all that much. He said he was more like a voice over guy. Robin said he was in radio. She said he spun records at the least. Howard said he thinks this is crazy. He said it's funny that they can't even find the body.
Howard played more of the Kerri Kasem interview and she was talking about how no one knows where Jean is but she won't share with the family where Casey is buried. Howard said it would be great if she had his body in her house. Howard said he hopes his mom hides his dad's body. He said that would make it more fun.
Howard said they could have a listener contest where they have them try to find the body. Howard said he bets they could do it. Gary said if he's in Canada maybe Hanzi could win it. Howard said that's something else.
Howard said they should call a bunch of psychics to find out. Robin said maybe the Long Island Psychic. Robin said she's surprised Sal hasn't come running in.
Howard said Riley Martin predicted where Casey Kasem is. Howard played a clip of Riley talking about how there are people who would pay money for his body parts. Howard said that's where his mind goes. It's always about the money.
Howard played more of the Riley clip and he was talking about how it could be in England or Germany. He said he doesn't claim any special powers but he has seen special things in the past and he hasn't been wrong yet. Robin asked what he's not been wrong about. Howard said he's not sure.
Howard said what if JD and Riley did a duet. He played a song parody that someone made doing his JD impression with someone doing a Riley impression along with that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about how gay Benjy is. He said Elisa looks like she must have some of the greatest tits ever. He said Benjy is doing nothing. He said he's gay. Benjy said Elisa is the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his life. The caller asked why he's not fucking her then. Howard said they went over this already this morning. He told him to listen to the replay.
Howard took another call from a guy who said they need to have that hypnotist in every day to have Ronnie be a different person every day. Howard played some audio drops of Ronnie laughing and making sounds from that hypnosis earlier.
Howard said he should get to the news. Fred said they should take a quick break. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
- Robin's News. 07/23/14. 9:25am
After the break Howard came right back and said it was time for some news. They played Robin in with a song parody. Fred said that was Eli Braden's song.
Robin started her news talking about how people think smoking pot at the White House is the greatest thing. Robin said Snoop Dogg was there and he was bragging about smoking there. Howard said he hasn't seen Snoop in a long time. Robin said he's gone on to higher things since he was last there. Robin said he was on Jimmy Kimmel's show when he revealed the smoking thing. Robin had a clip of Snoop talking about that.
Robin read about how Richard Gere is single now. Robin said he's been seen out with a new woman though.
Robin read about Billy Joel being honored by the Library of Congress. Robin said he got the Gershwin prize for popular song. Howard asked what he has to do to get the award. Robin said she's not sure what the ceremony is but he picked it up yesterday.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was listening to 101 yesterday and he asked if he was single during the playboy mansion visit. Howard said he can't remember. Howard said he doesn't remember anything. He said it's all a blur. He said if you can't get laid at the Playboy mansion you can't get laid. The caller said Benjy can't get laid with Elisa. Howard said he remembers Benjy jumping in the pool naked at the Playboy mansion. Howard said there was a lot of activity there. Howard said at one point he was married but he doesn't remember the time line or anything.
The caller said Elisa sounds like she could be a sex line operator or something. Howard thanked the guy for his call and let him go.
Howard said there is something wrong with Benjy and Elisa. Benjy said they have had regular sexual activity. He said she's just not happy. Howard said he wants to be with a chick who doesn't want to fuck him. Howard said he knows women who are beaten every day who want to have sex. Howard said Elisa doesn't want to fuck Benjy and she found an excuse not to. Benjy said it's not like that. Howard said she should want it for her own pleasure. Benjy asked if women like the touching or intercourse better. Howard said Beth doesn't want him touching her. He said she wants him to fuck her. Benjy asked if he's sure. Howard said of course he is.
Benjy said he loves Elisa and that's what matters. He said the sex thing doesn't matter. Howard asked why he would marry a woman who can go a year without fucking him. Benjy said he loves being with her and they are working on the relationship. Howard said there are lots of times Beth isn't in the mood but they won't go for a year. He said it might go for 3 days. Howard said they both want to have sex. Howard said she wants it and he wants it.
Benjy asked what he should do. Howard said he should really talk to someone and go into couples counseling if they want to stay together. Howard said Benjy is out in Lala land with this whole thing. Howard said if she's saying no to sex then there's something wrong. Benjy said they've had great moments. He said that they do things before he gets the chance to get the condom. Howard said he doesn't know what to tell him.
Robin read about how Sharknado 2 is coming out on July 30th. Howard said that's good news for Benjy. Robin read some details about who is in the movie other than Benjy. Robin read about some of the D-list celebrities they dug up to put in the movie. Howard said the best thing that could happen to Benjy is for a shark to really eat him.
Robin read an article about how 40 percent of married people don't have sex at all. Benjy said that he and Elisa both orgasm. Howard said that's some marriage Benjy has going on over there. Howard asked if that sounds like a good thing to Benjy. He said no if that's what they want.
Robin read a story about a man who got a breathing lung transplant. Robin said these lungs are still functioning when they get transported out of state. Robin said this man was the first volunteer in Indiana. Robin said he says he's feeling great after the transplant. Robin had a clip of the patient talking about how he's feeling.
Robin said they have new commercials out now for anti-cigarette smoking and they are very hard to watch. Robin said there was one where a guy showed the aftermath of his gum disease. Robin said there's another one where a guy has a blow hole and he explains how hard it is to have one. Robin said he takes this thing with a spike on the end of it and shows how you have to clean the hole two times a day. Howard said anyone who smokes now is a maniac. Howard said he's not sure how Keith Richards is still alive. Howard said he has no idea how he outlived all of the Ramones.
Robin asked Howard if he's stuck in a car for days and the person next to you is going to die, when do you want them to die. Howard said if they die right away they will stink. He said if they don't then they will complain. Howard said he thinks he's rather have them die right away. Robin read about how a woman was stuck in her car for 12 hours with a dead passenger. Robin said the car tumbled down an embankment. Robin said the passenger died in the accident. Howard said it all depends on who the person is. He said he'd want to say goodbye to Robin. He said if it was Benjy he'd want him to die right away.
Robin read a story about a study that was done that found that people who lost a mother or father during their childhood years are more likely to die younger. Howard said his mom lost her mom when she was 9 and she's still around. He said her sister died at a young age though. Howard said that has to have some sort of impact.
Robin read about the Malaysian airline that was shot down and how the rebels probably shot it down by mistake. Howard said he believes that. Howard said they don't know what they're shooting at. Robin said Russia is denying having anything to do with it. Robin said the bodies are arriving in the Netherlands today. Robin said over 190 of the victims were Dutch. Robin said one of the people they lost was an AIDS researcher. Robin said she found out that the reason they continue to fly over the Ukraine is to save fuel. Howard said absolutely they do. Howard said that area is highly traveled. He said it's a shortcut. Robin said that's the saddest thing of all. Howard said the black box was a big issue too. He said that ended up with the Malaysians. Howard said just look at what happened with the last flight that disappeared. Robin said they should check to see if they still have plans in the air. Robin said they aren't sure how many bodies have been found so far.
Robin read about how John Kerry is flying into Israel to try to help out with the cease fire over there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said there was an article the other day about a lady who got an email from her husband about how much sex they were having. He had all of the excuses she had. He wondered if Sal ever did that. Howard said he's not sure. He said that he's sure guys like Benjy know what that's like and they hear the same excuses all the time. Robin said she read that article the guy is talking about. He said she'd say she was sweaty from the gym but she didn't want to shower.
Howard asked Sal to come in and say what he thinks about this Benjy thing. Sal said that she's obviously sick of him and she's emotionally detached from him. Sal said he has had sex in the past year with his wife. He said his wife is locked in to him though. Sal said just imagine if Benjy had kids and had to come home and never have sex. Sal said his wife treats his cock like battery acid now. He said she's actually good about it lately.
The caller asked if Sal kept track of his wife's excuses. Sal said he didn't but they were things like she had a headache or she just wasn't in the mood. Benjy said when Elisa is in the mood to fool around she indicates it. Benjy said they do fool around. Howard asked when he last got laid. Benjy said it was about a month ago on an Amtrak train. Howard said before that it was like 8 months. Sal said he loves Benjy but he should just move on. He said he thinks he's awesome and he should be with someone else. Benjy said he loves Elisa and he loves spending time with her so what should he do. Howard told Sal he can leave.
Sal said he knows a woman who lets her pussy get stinky so her husband won't fuck her. Howard said he would rather be with a 5 who will fuck him silly than with a 10 who won't. Howard said Sal would fuck Tan Mon. Sal said he would do it all day from behind. Sal said Elisa is throwing in the towel and saying she doesn't want to fuck him. Benjy said she's not throwing in the towel.
Robin read about how Apple is being sued by employees who claim that they weren't given breaks that they were supposed to get. Howard said that's cool that they won't even let you pee. Howard said you piss before you come to work.
Robin read about how the American flags on the Brooklyn Bridge are being replaced with white flags. Robin said they're not sure who is doing it but it appears they are just bleached out American flags. Robin said they think that someone with construction or bridge climbing ability is able to do it. Howard said he likes that it's being done. Howard said they have police there and no one sees this happening. Howard said this is a good thing because it points out that if it was a terrorist no one would know. Howard said this is a warning. He said that there were multiple attempts on the World Trade Center before 9/11. He said that those fucks got away with it on 9/11. He said someone got on the bridge and did this flag thing with no one seeing it. He said he has to thank this person for doing it.
Robin said a doctor is warning people about a powdered caffeine that is dangerous to use. Robin had some audio of the doctor talking about how dangerous this stuff is. Howard said he has no caffeine whatsoever. Howard said he and his daughter were out to dinner and he had hot water with mint in it for dessert. Robin said she has never had that. Howard said it's delicious. Howard said no one needs caffeine. Howard said he sees the judges on AGT with their Starbucks every minute. Howard said he doesn't need a pick me up like they do. Howard said he does Transcendental Meditation and that picks him up. He said it can't be right to need coffee to pick you up. Howard said Howie can drink that shit because he works out so much.
Robin read a story about San Diego Comic-Con and how they're asking people to stay away from Sea World. Howard said he wants to ask the judges next week about their caffeine intake. He said they'll be on the show next week.
Robin read about how PETA is going to have an ad campaign to keep people from going to Sea World. Robin said they're targeting visitors of Comic-Con. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on that. Howard said he's afraid that Sea World is going to catch Jason while he's out there and put him in a tank with a beach ball on his nose.
Robin read about how they're saying that people should read poetry to their child while it's in the womb. Howard said his mom never read to him or his sister. He said they never thought to do that. Robin said they say that babies will respond to stories read aloud to their children while they're in the womb. Howard did his impression of his mom reading a poem to him. Howard said he was never read a story at all when he was a kid. He said his mother just shut the door and turned out the lights. He said he was afraid to leave his room because there was a bigger nightmare going on in the hall. Hoar said it was like they were at war with him. Robin asked why they had him. Howard asked if she was in the psychiatrist's office with him yesterday. Robin said it didn't seem they wanted to have any fun with him. Howard said he does wonder why they had children. Howard went into his mother's voice again and told stories about how awful their childhoods were. Howard said he made up none of that. He said his dad had two left shoes. He said you hear those stories and you're afraid to leave the house.
Robin read a story about Tony Dungy's statements and how he's elaborating on what he said. Robin said he was clarifying his statement saying that he wouldn't want to deal with the distractions of having a gay player coming out on his team.
Howard took a call from a guy who said maybe Elisa is fucking someone else. He said maybe she's the one hooking up with JD. Howard said it's possible she's with someone but he's not sure. Howard said she could be picked up by someone else at any moment. Howard said that she's so repulsed by Benjy that she's given it up. The caller said he and his girl hate each other but they still bang like crazy. He also said the hypnosis thing today was great. Howard thanked him for that.
Robin read about how the Denver Broncos owner is releasing ownership of the team because he has Alzheimer's. Robin said that the sale of the team is up in the air right now.
Robin read a story about how Doc Rivers will quit if Donald Sterling still owns the L.A. Clippers next season.
Robin read a story about Mel B being on Jimmy Fallon's show last night. Robin had some audio of her talking about how she got her nickname of Scary Spice. Howard said he would have called her Big Titty Spice. Howard said Posh should have been called Cunty Spice.
Robin read about how Ricky Gervais was telling David Letterman not to retire. Robin had some audio of Ricky talking to Dave about how he gets paid to just sit down and listen to people talk.
Robin read a story about the new Hercules movie. Robin said Dwayne Johnson is playing Hercules. She had a clip of him talking about the part and also talking about some of the other actors who played the part. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about how bad the other actors were who played Hercules in the past. Robin said the director said no one else could have played this part. Howard said no one else wanted to.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 10:15am.
- Wrap Up Show - Ronnie's Hypnosis. 07/23/14. 10:20am
Jon Hein started the show going over what they were going to cover today. He brought up Ronnie's hypnosis and how interesting that was. He said that when Ronnie first came out of it he was sort of groggy and didn't know what he was going to say. He said they were all on the edge of their seats in the office. Jon said his Monopoly prowess was fascinating to him. Gary said when he came out of it his glasses were fogged up and he was really out of it.
Jon said they'll talk about other things that happened today on the show but this is what they're going to talk about right now. Jon said that Scott was explaining getting into that hypnotic state and you don't pay attention to anything else. He said the power of suggestion is always there. He said Ronnie was in and he was in deep. Jon said he did a really good job. He said Ronnie was laughing so hard he didn't think he was going to get anywhere.
Gary said it was like he was giving director's commentary. Jon said it was an odd sort of thing but maybe that's where your mind goes when you're hypnotized. Jon said Ronnie is going to come down but there are indications that he enjoys things like women enjoy. He likes having his tits tickled. Jon said that he couldn't tell if he wanted to play both sides of he fence. He said the ass play was resolving a lot of the problems in his fantasy.
Jon said JD was in and he was holding hands with Ronnie and it was very awkward. Gary said he thought it was odd that he came up with the name Madeline. He said it's an old fashioned name because Ronnie is an older guy.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie blew a load during that thing. Jon said they'll ask him when he comes in.
Jon said he is fascinated about the tune ups Sal is getting with Scott. He said if it works for him it's great but he'd like to know more about it. He said that he thinks if you want to be led down that road you can be easily read. He said he's sure Scott is giving Sal the feedback he needs to hear. Gary said he thinks that hypnotism is real but some people can't be hypnotized. He said that he has tried it and it doesn't work. He said he went to another place where it did work. Gary said he has a fear of not hearing the show live and how he may need to hear something to respond to.
Gary said the time he did it where it worked was years ago when he went to lose weight. He said that was with Paul McKenna. Gary said he felt himself going under and he felt himself going out. He said in his mind 4 minutes went by and it turned out 40 minutes went by and he didn't realize it. Jon said he believes it can happen. Jon said he wonders who wouldn't want to be hypnotized there.
Jon asked JD if he has a hard time believing in it. JD said they tried it and nothing happened. He said maybe he fought it too much. He said he's worried about someone getting inside his head. JD said he doesn't want to ride the Sybian with a wig on.
Benjy asked if he is capable of doing it. JD said he doesn't want to find out. Gary said he could probably do it if it was outside the show. JD said he's not interested in it at all.
Jon asked JD what he liked most about the Ronnie thing. JD said it's just funny. He said he could see he was just laid back and groggy. Jon said he imagines that's what they would see if Ronnie ever got stoned.
Gary said you could tell that's what Ronnie really wants in his life. Jon asked why he was laughing so much. Gary said it was like the best night of his life. Benjy said he thought it was a really sexy story.
Jon said Ronnie made a point to make sure they knew it was a real red head. He said that he kept getting back to the Monopoly game. JD said that maybe it was like edging which is where you get close to cumming and you stop. Benjy asked JD if he's an edger. JD said he's not. He said he doesn't like to be teased.
Jon said the fantasy seemed like it could go on for days and days. He said they kept going back to the Monopoly thing. Gary said it's the world's most boring game. He said you wonder how you can end it after the first 20 minutes. Gary said that you just start giving money away.
JD said maybe something happened to Ronnie with a Monopoly board. Ronnie came in so Jon asked if something happened with that game at some point. Ronnie said he did play the game with a drunk chick once. He said nothing really happened though. Benjy asked if it tapped into something from his childhood.
Jon asked Ronnie what game piece he plays when he plays. Ronnie said Scott bought him a board a few years ago. It's a NASCAR set. He said he's never opened the box though. Jon said he figured that Ronnie would play the car. JD said he's always the top hat. He said it's the one he always picked as a kid. Gary said he just lets everyone pick and then he'll take whatever is left over.
Jon asked Ronnie what he remembers about what he talked about today. Ronnie said he remembers bits and pieces of it. He said it was like waking up from a dream when he came out of it today. He said he remembers parts about being with the girls on the floor and things like that. He said he doesn't remember much about the Monopoly game. Ronnie said he remembers sitting at the table starting to drink but that was about it. He said it's really crazy.
Jon said Ronnie went to ass play when he wanted to get out of a situation. Jon said he had a lot going on there. Ronnie said it was the time of his life. Jon said that they're wondering about the Monopoly game. Ronnie said that's where they were drinking. He said it was like going to the bar and going into the back room or something.
Jon said Ronnie kept pointing out that the red head was a real red head. Ronnie said there's a thing about them that says that they're wild in bed. Ronnie said he's only experienced one in his lifetime. Benjy asked if he was a red head. Ronnie said sort of. He said his hair was pretty red when he was younger. He said it's more red than it is now.
Jon asked if he had freckles too. Ronnie said he doesn't have any on his face but he does on the rest of his body.
Jon asked if it was tough to go under. Ronnie said he was up late the night before and when he started to work him over he almost went out. Jon said Ronnie appeared to be almost asleep on the couch when he first got in there.
Gary asked if this was a fantasy or was it about things he's already done. Ronnie said it might have been a combination. Ronnie said that the two girls thing isn't what he's done but he's done something similar.
Jon took a call from a guy who said what undermined today's segment is that Ronnie is a company man and he's reinforcing a persona. He said it's hard to tell the difference between real and shtick. Ronnie said if he saw it he thinks he'd believe it.
Jon said someone asked earlier if he came in his pants during that segment. Ronnie said he didn't but he had to piss. Jon said he was sweating a lot too. Ronnie said that he really was and maybe his body thought that he was really doing it with the girls.
Jon asked JD how sweaty he was. JD said it was like he had licked his palms. Ronnie said they were really clammy. They went to break a short time after that.
- Wrap Up Show - The Benjy And Elisa Vortex. 07/23/14. 10:45am
After the break Jon moved on to talk about Benjy and Elisa. Jon asked Benjy about what Howard was saying to him today. Benjy said he doesn't deny that he's been having relationship problems. He said that he's not sure what they want him to do.
Gary said that he thinks that Howard wants him to get help or get out of the relationship. Benjy said he has things to work out and he's trying to get to them.
Jon said Howard was saying that he thinks it's over for Benjy if Elisa isn't sleeping with him. Benjy said there has been sex in the past couple of months. He said some things have changed.
Ronnie asked if he's broken up and just friends then why is he having any kind of sex at all. He said the relationship can't end if he's still getting a blow job. Benjy said this has all happened in the last week. He said they haven't fooled around the last 6 days. Ronnie said he has said that they are having some kind of relations. Benjy said they hung out yesterday and they were both working and hanging out.
Jon asked JD how he'd handle this. JD said it depends on how much he loves the girl. He said he'd try what he could to keep it going. Jon asked if the intercourse stopped would it be a deal breaker. JD said if she wasn't into him then he'd have to figure out what to do.
Benjy said he and Elisa have had problems and he's open to figuring it out. Gary said they haven't taken time apart and that's what she said she wanted to do. Benjy said that they like being around each other. He said that this all gets more confusing because of the show. Gary said that there are mixed signals there though. He said usually people separate but they haven't really done that. Benjy said he doesn't think they're confused about it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves the show. He wanted to weigh in on this. He said it's agonizing hearing him talk about this. He said he's wondering if the fingering a couple weeks ago had anything to do with this. He said obviously he was having problems and he was trying to get Elisa on the show. Benjy said she's been on the show for 2 years now. He said that he always wants good things for Elisa. He said that's not going to change.
Ronnie asked Benjy if he really thinks that and he's not ready to give her the life she wants, wouldn't he walk away. Benjy said that's what Robin brought up today. He said it is a question in his mind if he should walk away or stay in her life. Ronnie said maybe he's being selfish. Gary said he's thinking of that song Torn and how the woman who wrote it was explaining what it was about. Gary said the guy couldn't commit and she got to a point where she had to walk away and then the guy was ready. Gary said she was torn over that. Jon said they might be at the point where they have to get away from each other and figure out where they're at. they had to go to break after that.
- Wrap Up Show - Wrap Up at Comic-Con. 07/23/14. 11:00am
After the break Jon mentioned that they're going to be at Comic-Con Friday and Saturday. Jon said that they'll all be out there and Jason is bursting at the seams over it. Jason said the fans can be part of this. He said that all of the information is on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. He said they're doing the first ever Marvel and DC Town Hall out there. Jason said he can't wait to be out there. Jon said it's like two super powers coming together at Comic-Con.
Jason said that Jim Lee and Brian Michael Bendis are huge Stern fans too. JD said he bought some comic book t-shirts to fit in out there. He said he'll be wearing a Superman t-shirt. Jason said they're doing a signing from 2pm to 3:30 Pacific at some booth out there.
Steve Brandano said this is like first time Van Halen fans wearing a Van Halen t-shirt to a concert. Gary said his Marvel t-shirt has been in his closet for years just waiting for this. Steve said that shirt is almost acceptable. JD said he didn't care if his wasn't.
Jason said that all of the information is on Howard's web site and all of their social media. He said use the hashtag #HowardCon and they'll find you too.
- Wrap Up Show - Pete Bevacqua From The PGA Sits In. 07/23/14. 11:05am
Gary said they have a guest in the studio. He said the head of the PGA is a superfan of the show. His name is Pete Bevacqua. Pete said that he's a superfan. He knew who Will Murray was and he knew he had the highest IQ.
Pete said that they love having a good time out there but there's a fine line about when and where to yell out Baba Booey. He said if it's done at the proper time that's fine. He said that they love the passion and excitement. He said that they want golf to be as inclusive as it can be. Pete said that Gary has been taking golf lessons. Gary said he has and he's gotten better. Jon asked if Gary is going to be to the PGA what Scott the Engineer is to bowling. Gary said no. He said he just got into it.
Gary said his son plays a lot of golf and he wonders if they can get into a lot of these games. Jason said that they have great food at the country clubs so that's what he loves about it.
Pete said that he's not sure Howard hit the ball 300 yards like he thought he did. He said it may have gone 220 yards or so.
Pete talked about some of the tournaments and how they plan ahead and he mentioned 10 years. Gary said that's amazing they plan that far ahead.
Benjy asked if Pete has ever Baba Booey'd. Pete said he has but not at a tournament. Shuli asked if there are any other phrases he'd like to hear at the games. Gary said there is no substitute for Baba Booey. Shuli said there are plenty of other things they could yell out.
Jason asked if the announcers are that close to the players that they have to whisper. Pete said they are. He said there are some who are in the booths and if you raise your voice it can interfere with the play. He said they're whispering on purpose.
Benjy asked if the LPGA has the same thoughts on Baba Booey that the PGA has. Pete said he's not sure and he'd have to ask the head of the LPGA. Pete said it's just best to be careful when you yell out the Baba Booey thing.
Ronnie said if you want to yell out at a sporting event then go to a NASCAR race and yell out anything you want.
Jon thanked Pete for coming in. Gary said he's thinking of doing a Baba Booey invitational to raise money for Lifebeat. He said Keegan Bradley has already committed to showing up. Pete said they're happy Gary is taking to the game. He said that they'll be back to New York in the near future. He said that they can help him with his outing in memory of his brother too.
Gary said that he has been asked to play on some of the best courses in the country and now maybe he'll get to go.
Jon had Shuli get to some news headlines. Shuli mentioned that the Nicole Bass date came and went. He said she thought the date was the day after so she missed it. Shuli said they've rescheduled it. Shuli said that it will happen. Gary said Steve was the one who chaperoned the date and he and Zack went out together instead.
Shuli got in some plugs for the Comic-Con event and how the guys will be out there. He also plugged today's Leiberman Live show that's on at 4:45 today.
Jon wrapped up the show and had the guys get in their plugs. They were done around 11:20am.
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