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-- Wednesday, April 16, 2014 --

  • Various Discussions. 04/16/14. 6:00am
    Show opening bits and songs included: A Don Jamieson comedy routine where he mentioned Richard Christy wearing a diaper at rock concerts, a Baba Booey song parody to the tune of the Looney Tunes theme song, Lady Gaga performing ''The Edge of Glory'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio.

    Howard started the show talking to Robin about what he was wearing. He said he was wearing a leather jacket. He told Robin there is snow on the ground. She hadn't been outside. Howard said they woke up to ice and snow this morning. He said it's supposed to be spring. Robin said they say that it's supposed to be 20 degrees with the wind chill factor. Howard said he didn't know what it was going to be like out this morning but he did know it was going to be cold. He said he didn't know just how cold. He said yesterday he wasn't dressed warm enough. He said it was 80 degrees on Sunday and now it's 30. Robin said there's nothing they can do about it.

    Robin said that Howard wanted to send planes up to control hurricanes but they can't control this kind of stuff. Howard said we need to blow up the moon. He said that's what's causing the problems. He said there are many people who think that's the right move. Robin said the moon has nothing to do with this. Howard said she's like those people who thought the earth was square. He said she'll see eventually.

    Howard said the moon causes tides. He said he just learned that. Robin already knew. Howard said they'd have a very lake like situation in the oceans if they got rid of the moon.

    Howard said Valerie Harper is stopping by this morning. He said she was on Dancing with the Stars recently. He said she has a serious illness too and he wants to ask how she's doing with that. Robin said she was wondering how she was doing. Howard said they'll talk to her today. Howard said he wants to talk to her about everything, even her period. Howard said she probably wants to blow up the moon because she's got cancer. Howard said he thinks she had lung cancer. Robin said she thought it was brain cancer. Howard said life is not fair.

    Howard said he's getting a lot of nice emails and tweets about Tracy Morgan's appearance yesterday. Howard said he was really good on the show. Howard said he tried out eating ass on Fred this morning and Fred loved it. Howard said they're calling Tracy the black Dr. Ruth thanks to that conversation. Howard said that Lindsay Lohan won the brackets they did with Tracy and that kind of surprised him. He said it made more sense as he thought about it. Howard said they say that Lindsay may have fallen off the wagon at Cochella. Robin said Charlie Sheen's ex has been in rehab like 21 times and Lindsay hasn't made it that many times.

    Howard said they were talking about Sharknado yesterday and how they're doing crowd funding. Howard said it made him upset thinking about that. Howard said Benjy was wondering why. Howard said it's because he thought Sharknado was a financial success. Howard said he thinks they completed the movie and used up the budget. Howard said they probably want to edit Benjy out and they don't have any money left. Either that or they used up so much money in Kraft Services with Benjy that they need more money.

    Howard asked Benjy if he knows why they're doing this. Benjy said his guess is that they're doing it for publicity. Howard said it's negative publicity though. Benjy said he doesn't think it is. Howard said maybe he's right but who cares? Howard said that they wouldn't do this for publicity. Benjy said they do stuff like this for charity sometimes. Howard said he was wondering if Benjy had spoken to the producers but obviously he hasn't.

    Howard said he was reading about Lindsay Lohan allegedly falling off the wagon at Cochella. Howard said that she was allegedly drinking soda and had some booze with that. Howard said they don't drink soda there. Howard said he's been eating really healthy lately. He said he had a salad last night and he had some extra cucumbers in there. Robin said she thought he didn't eat salads. Howard said he always does. Howard said Robin doesn't eat enough protein. Howard said she won't eat fish. Howard said she did for a while but then she stopped. Robin said everything has protein in it. Howard said ''whatever'' and moved on.

  • Howard Takes Some Calls And Reads Some Email. 04/16/14. 6:15am
    Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks the show has gotten better over the past 30 years. He said he knows someone was complaining about the commercial yesterday. Howard said it is way less than terrestrial radio. He said there are a couple though. He mentioned a few things that they advertise including the Squatty Potty. Howard said he loves his Squatty Potty. He said he used it twice yesterday. He said he was loose yesterday and he doesn't know why.

    The caller asked about the celebrity impression contest they have coming up. Howard said they got a lot of entries but a lot of bad ones. Howard said he'll play some of the good ones. He said they had to narrow them down and it was no easy task. Howard said they have a $5,000 prize for the winner. That's provided by

    Howard asked the caller if he entered. The caller said he did. He said he did a Mad Dog impression. Howard said he thinks that was terrible. The caller, Sean, said he was a finalist on the Mad Dog channel. Sean said he beat Sour Shoes. Howard asked to hear the impression. Sean did it and Howard said it wasn't as good as Sour Shoes.

    Howard had some clips to play. He said he has one from a guy named Barrett. He was doing a Gilbert Gottfried impression. Howard played that clip and said the Gilbert was good but he went into a Jerry Seinfeld impression that he shouldn't have done.

    Howard said he has one of a guy doing a Harvey Firestein impression. He played that clip and said everyone can do that impression. Howard said they were desperate so they pulled that one. The caller asked about the girl who has been in the contests before. Howard said she tried out for AGT and they told her she cant be in any other contests at the same time.

    Howard said that he has one of a guy doing a High Pitch Eric impression. His name was Matt Jacobs. Howard said he has one of Michael Fremmer doing Jackie Mason. He played that and it was pretty good too.

    Howard said he has David Hitchens doing a Ronnie impression. Howard said he didn't quite pull that one off. Howard played the clip and the impression was a funny idea but not a great impression according to Howard.

    Howard said he liked this one. He said this was Guy Stewart doing High Pitch Mike Morales. Howard played that one and said it was funny but not a great impression. Howard said they're going to have a few of these people down to do their impressions. He said they didn't find a lot of good ones. He said they want to thank everyone for sending in entries but these were the best they got. Howard said they'll have some of them down and finish off the contest.

    Howard let Sean go and said he wasn't so bad at his Mad Dog Russo but he wasn't as good as Sour Shoes. Howard asked if Sour entered. Gary said he did not. Howard said he doesn't understand his lack of motivation. Gary said he doesn't have the wherewithal to figure it out.

    Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who told the fans that Howard is going to be in L.A. and doing AGT tapings. She asked if he's bringing his guitar with him out there. Howard said he was going to bring it on the plane but he decided not to. Howard said he's going to be in L.A. for 9 days. He said he was going to bring all kinds of things but he never has time to do anything fun out there. He said the weather has been amazing out there and he knows Beth will be sitting pool side. Howard said he will be working. He said they tape from 10am to 8pm. He said it's going to be a long day. Mariann said they have free tickets for the fans out there too. Howard said they're still doing auditions. Robin said she thought it was a closed thing. Howard said this is open to the public.

    Mariann asked Robin if she liked it at Madison Square Garden. Robin said she did. Howard said that they had a good time with Robin there. Robin said she might have made plans to come to L.A. if she had known what they were doing. Robin said she missed traveling with Howard in these things.

    Mariann said that Howard should bring his band to Radio City and have them open up for the shows. Howard said he would do that if he knew how to play. He said there is never going to be a band. He said that was more about the tryouts.

    Mariann said that she's spending $15 to be in Sharknado. She said she donated to do that. She also mentioned that she's going to be at a Jon Leiberman book signing today. Howard let her go after that.

    Howard said a fan put a picture together of Howard, Fred, Robin and Jackie in a Van Halen photo. He said that got a lot of attention yesterday. He said they tweeted it out and put it on the Facebook page. Howard said he also took a picture with Tracy Morgan yesterday and for some reason they usually get negative comments on his looks. He said for some reason they got positive feedback about it. Howard said this picture with Tracy people say he looks good. Howard said it's the first time they got no negatives on his horrible appearance. Howard said someone said he looks so young. Howard said one guy said he looks 30 years old. Howard read a bunch of the comments in there. Howard thanked the fans for that.

    Howard said the Oscar Pistorius trial is coming to an end. He said he's expecting a lot of ''My Lady'' comments from him toward the end. Howard said it'll be like that song where they sing that. Howard asked what song that's from. Fred tried to find it. Benjy said something about Butterfly. Fred found the song and it was by Crazy Town and the song was ''Butterfly (Come my lady)''. Howard said it's a horrible song after hearing a few seconds of it.

    Howard said there are a million things going on. He said people are intrigued with Tan Mom. Some people threw out some names for the fight. He said someone suggested Tan Mom vs. Eric the Actor. Howard said someone suggested Sal.

    Howard said someone asked him about working with Wolfman Jack at WNBC. Howard said he didn't see him that much. He said he would cut one liners there at NBC a couple of times a year. Howard said they had thousands of clips of him saying one liners and they would piece together a show out of those clips. Howard said Wolfman would come up like once a quarter or so and he'd cut those lines. Howard said he was doing something there and he remembers talking to him. Howard said he was a big guy. Howard said he was legendary and he was in American Graffiti. He said he did a radio show out of Mexico on a 100,000 watt station or something.

    Howard said he had to pose for a photo for WNBC with Imus, Wolfman Jack and Soupy Sales. He said he was bummed out because he knew Imus hated him. He said they took the picture and he put it in one of his books. He said he thinks that was in Private Parts. He said he didn't spend a lot of time with Jack though. He said he seemed like a nice guy. Howard said he did put together a broadcast career. He said he had a unique voice and he was cool with him. Howard said it was no great friendship though. He said he was an angry guy and didn't have many good friendships. He said he had a shit attitude back then. He said he threw off a bad vibe. He said that had a lot to do with low self esteem. He said he was getting shit on by management in Washington DC and then at WNBC. Howard said everyone wanted to hire him but even the company he worked for hated him. Howard said Robin would testify to that. Howard said their program manager hated him. He said that's why he had a shit attitude.

    Howard said that the guy was so angry with him because he had an article about him in the paper and the program manager wasn't mentioned. Howard said the guy just hired him. He said he didn't even want to hire him. He said he was just listening to a consultant who suggested him. Howard said the guy thought he was a flash in the pan. He said he's gotten knocked like that for so long. Howard asked how he couldn't have a shitty attitude. Howard said he was angry with anyone who had a career going. Howard said he's a little bit more chill now. Howard said he had so many years being bitter that he became a hardened cock sucking fuck. Robin said there he goes with the cock sucker thing again. Howard said he has to come up with something else. He said maybe shit eating. He said he's not sure why anyone would say that either. He said he's not sure why he'd have a shit eating grin.

    Robin said the guy who did that Butterfly song was on Celebrity Rehab. Howard said he didn't remember that. Howard said that the guy did OD but he didn't die. Howard said the guys in the back thought he had died. Howard said that he misses that show. He said he loved watching Celebrity Rehab. He said he had to take a break. Howard said they may hear from Sternac the Improbable today. He went to break after that.


  • Howard's Rant Against Variety Magazine Article Writer. 04/16/14. 6:50am
    After the break Howard came back and said they're making Soul Train into a Broadway play. Howard said they say that Chelsea Handler may take over the slot that Craig Ferguson has on CBS. Howard said that CBS is denying that but you never know. Howard said that they have a guy in there already. Howard said that is his job so you never know.

    Howard said that there's a guy, Brian Lowry, who wrote an article in Variety magazine. Howard said that he wrote about how the interview he did with that white supremacist guy Glen Miller a few years ago isn't so funny now. Howard said he'll talk to anyone on the phone. He said that he believes in shedding light on things and opening things up to dialog like Anderson Cooper says. Howard said that Variety magazine profiled Roman Polanski so he's wondering why they'd do that and then point out his interview with a guy like this. Howard said that Polanski is a rapist. Howard said he bets that they whitewashed that whole thing. Howard said they probably talked about what a great director he is. Howard said he would interview Roman Polanski too but he'd take a stance against him. Howard said that's what he did with this white supremacist guy. Howard said he didn't do the interview as a joke either.

    Gary asked what the odds are that the guy even heard the interview. Howard said he bets he didn't hear it. Howard said when Phil Donahue did interviews with racists they weren't called out. Howard read some of the article that this Brian Lowry wrote and pointed out what was wrong with the article. Howard said that he wasn't making light of what the guy was saying. He said he was letting people know how this hatred is out there.

    Howard said that Miller called him a filthy and lying Jew. He said it was not comedy. He said that if you sit out there thinking it's all behind us then you're full of crap. Howard said the racism is still out there. Howard said he will continue to interview racists.

    Howard said Lowry points out that he put this guy in his movie. Howard said of course he did. He loves pointing out that these people still exist in this world. Howard said that he has no problem with people like Oprah doing interviews with people like this. Howard said he just finds it odd that this guy makes it seem like it's wrong to interview someone like that. Howard said he wants to know what the fuck this guy is thinking so he'd interview him right now. Howard said he warned people about him and put him on the air for everyone to hear.

    Gary said that this guy Brian Lowry also wrote an article about how Sarah Silverman should act like a lady because she's too dirty. Howard said that's like telling Robin she should act like a black woman. Howard said he doesn't care about Brian Lowry but he finds it interesting to bring it up.

    Howard said they can't interview Roman Polanski for the magazine and then call him out on something like this. Howard said you should interview everyone. Robin said they should shine a light on all of these wackos. Howard said that they were watching this guy.

    Robin said she wants to know how this guy in Boston who placed fake bombs on the streets of Boston on the anniversary of the bombings. Howard said that you want to know what that guy is thinking. He said they should interview him.

    Howard said he's sure this writer would interview Woody Allen and he has some shady things going on. Howard said he'd like to know who this guy approves of him interviewing. Howard said some of the best stuff he saw was during the civil rights movement when people would interview racists. He said that got people talking. Howard said journalists would go to Viet Nam during the war and show what was going on. He said you show the violence and it upsets people. He said that's right, that's what they were going for.

    Howard said he has no problem with being singled out but he should be praising him instead. He said that he's exposing the hate. He said he's going to look up the Roman Polanski article and he bets that it was all positive. Howard said that they probably didn't point out that he's a rapist. Howard said they probably say he's a great guy. Howard said he had to take another break after that.


  • Sternac The Improbable. 04/16/14. 7:10am
    After the break Howard came right back and said he didn't mean to harp on this Variety magazine thing but he has the article they did with Roman Polanski. Howard read some of the article and it was a positive article about the guy. Howard said there is no mention of the rape charges he fled the country for. Howard said there is nothing in there at all. Howard said that they just don't want him interviewing racists.

    Howard asked Robin what she thought. Robin wasn't there. Howard figured she was in the bathroom. Robin said she was having a very important discussion there. Howard told Robin there wasn't one mention of rape in that article. Robin said of course not. Howard said it doesn't make sense with this guy saying he shouldn't interview a racist. Robin said the truth is that he exposed him to a lot more people. Howard said he should just do what Variety does and hide the fact that a guy is a rapist. Howard said they must be in a backward world.

    Robin said this guy doesn't like Howard's sense of humor so he paints him with a broad brush. Howard said the guy is a dick. Howard said they should lighten things up and contact Sternac the Improbable. Howard had Robin introduce him.

    Robin introduced Sternac and Howard went into his Johnny Carson/Carnac impression. Howard had to tell Robin where she had to come in with her script. Robin said she had in her hand some envelopes. Sternac was going to predict what was in them and then open them up and see if he was right. Robin said she had the envelopes and they were kept in a place no one goes anymore... Janice Dickinson's vagina. Sternac said he had to smell them. He said that they have been stored in a horrible place. Robin said Sternac will figure out the questions without seeing the answers.

    The first envelope was held next to Sternac's head. He said the answer is Robin Thicke. Sternac opened the envelope and said ''Why Batman won't be the bottom in the relationship.''

    Sternac said may your wife spend the weekend on Simon Cowell's yacht without birth control. He said that the next envelope's answer was ''Hello kitty.'' Then he opened it and said the question was ''How does Lisa G greet her significant other each night?''

    Sternac gave the next answer which was ''Ukraine.'' He opened the question and said ''What do the kids call Howard Stern at school?''

    Sternac had ''Monkey Come.'' He said the question was ''How I address Gary Dell'Abate when he wants him to approach him.''

    Sternac said the next answer was ''In Sync.'' He opened the envelope and the question was ''Where does Ronnie Mund wash his ass?'' The next answer was ''Miss America.'' The question was ''Name something Edward Snowden does every day of his life.''

    This was the final envelope according to Robin. Sternac's next answer was ''Fun guy.'' The question was ''What do you call the stuff under Gary's toe nails?''

    Howard said goodbye to Sternac after that. Howard said that was something. He said now they can do the real thing since that was the dress rehearsal. Robin had missed a couple of her lines in the bit. Howard said that he thanks the person for writing in and asking to hear it. He said he may never hear that bit again.

  • Wolfie Interviews Some LARPers. 04/16/14. 7:20am
    Howard said they sent Wolfie out to a LARP (Live Action Role Playing) event. Howard said Wolfie said he was scared because these people just hang out in the woods. He said he was creeped out by it because these people role play and almost reenact things but they're characters from movies and TV shows. Howard had Wolfie on the phone and asked how he describes this. Wolfie said it's called Larping and it's weird. He said it's like a civil war reenactment but these people are creating their own world. He said they're in character the whole weekend. He said one chick was there and she was really cute. Howard said they're fact chicks in costumes and fat guys in costume. Wolfie said he wouldn't say any of them looked normal.

    Wolfie said this was all out in the country and he drove home on a really dark road. He said that he was asking questions and he didn't even have a cell signal out there. He said this was out in the Poconos. Robin asked if they were camping out. Wolfie said they rent a camp in a state park. Howard asked if they were annoyed by him. Wolfie said they had no idea why he was there.

    Howard played a clip of a woman being interviewed and telling Wolfie about her character with a weird accent. Wolfie asked what race she was. She rambled something about being an elf that lives in the trees or something. Howard asked how she finds this LARP thing. Wolfie said he felt like a detective finding where it was and when it took place. Howard said he has no idea how he'd even discover there were other people who like doing this LARP thing.

    Wolfie told Howard they have this point system out in the woods. He said they have PVC pipe covered in foam that's supposed to be a sword. He said that you get killed if you get hit so many times. He said he was just a reporter out there so he wasn't playing the game himself.

    Howard played another interview and a guy was playing the character Hodor from Game of Thrones. That guy just kept saying ''Hodor'' like the character does.

    Howard had another clip of a guy doing his Golum impression. Howard asked if that's what he was the whole weekend. Wolfie said he has no idea what he was. He said he wasn't dressed as Golum. Wolfie said the costumes ranged from being pretty good to awful. He said if they were an elf they had Spock ears on.

    Howard said he went to Woodstock after 9/11 to chill. He said he would rather take his chances in the city with the terrorists.

    Wolfie said he knows Howard hates people who waste time. He said these people spend 48 hours doing nothing but chasing each other with fake swords. Howard said this is a huge waste of time. Wolfie said there were a couple of lawyers in the group. He said there were some who still live at home with their parents though.

    Howard replayed the clip of the elf girl talking about what she was doing there. Howard said she has it all figured out.

    Wolfie said they had to kick one person out because they were swinging their sword too hard. He said he's not sure how they pick people out to show up. He said they kicked out some others who were intoxicated. He said you're not allowed to be intoxicated. Howard wondered how you get through the weekend then. Howard said he and Fred should go to one and start bashing people over the head with pipes. Wolfie said he's surprised that Benjy wasn't there. He said he can imagine him being at one.

    Howard said he would love to know who hooks up at these things. Howard asked if the chick he was playing was the hot one. Wolfie said she was cute. That was the elf girl who was talking about sleeping in the ferns. Howard asked if Wolfie would have banged her. Wolfie said he would have.

    Howard replayed more of that elf chick's clip and said he has a guy on the phone who says his nephew is a LARP. Howard picked up and the guy said that no one makes fun of him for it. Howard said he would. The guy said he goes out into the woods and does this at the age of 16. He said he wastes his time with this LARP bullshit. Howard said this is the time he could be learning guitar or some cool skills. He said he's busy doing this bullshit instead. The caller said he'll have to see how this kid ends up. Howard said he's out there beating kids up with a PVC pipe. The caller said he just doesn't get it. He said he should just hang out and chill instead. Howard said maybe he can get the Sopranos crew to go up against the elves.

    The caller asked what he can say to him. Howard told him to just laugh at him or tell him to snap out of it. Howard said he's not going to know it's wrong if he doesn't tell him. Howard said psychiatrists say that anything goes these days though. Howard said the competition for chicks can't be that tough when you're around LARPers.

    Wolfie said one guy showed up with a bow and arrow. He was a new player. He said that the guy let him shoot him in the chest with a bow and arrow. He said it had a big foam tip on the end of it. He said you have no idea if it has an end on it or not. Robin said it'll take someone dying at one of these things to stop it.

    Howard told the caller not to say anything to his nephew. He said kids might get upset about those things. Howard said he had to go after that. He let the caller and Wolfie go.

    Howard said Wolfie told Gary he was really scared up there in the woods. He had no cell phone up there. Howard said it's just crazy.

  • A Few Minutes With Hanzi. 04/16/14. 7:35am
    Howard took a call from Hanzi or Imran Khan. Howard played a song parody about him after that. Hanzi said Howard mentioned the clansman and how everyone has interviewed them. Howard said not everyone. Hanzi asked if you have to do that if you're in the business. Howard said he has prided himself on talking to a lot of different people. He said that's why he has Hanzi on. Hanzi said he doesn't let him go on any other show. Howard said he can go on any other show he wants. Hanzi said Howard controls it all though. Howard said he does not. Howard said what he's saying is that he'll interview anyone with a point of view. Howard said he's not sure what their actions will be in the future. Howard said he'll expose you either way. Hanzi said he'll expose Howard. Howard said he's getting into an argument over nothing.

    Hanzi said that Howard had to have heard of the ultimate Warrior. Howard said he never had. Howard said he wishes he did know about that but he didn't. Hanzi said Howard had enough wrestlers on that he had to know. Howard said he didn't know. Howard said he interviewed wrestlers but he didn't know much about what they do. Howard said he really has to go. Hanzi asked him about doing some TV or Movie appearances. Howard said he'll pass them on if they get anyone calling. Hanzi said he knows he wont. Howard hung up and went to break after that.

  • Valerie Harper Visits. 04/16/14. 7:50am
    After the break we heard a clip of Evil Dave Letterman doing an announcement for someone with a colostomy bag. We also heard a prank call Sal and Richard made using Ronnie the Limo Driver audio clips. We also heard a ''Delusional Singer Syndrome'' bit with Sal Governale. Fred also played Billy Joel's ''Pressure'' as they were coming back.

    Howard came back and said that's Billy Joel, the man of the hour. Howard said they're going to be talking to him on Monday the 28th. Howard said they'll have a lot of famous people stopping by. He said they're going to have people asking questions from the audience. He said they'll have a lot of fun.

    Howard said Valerie Harper played Rhoda on the Mary Tyler Moore show. Then she played that character on her own show and got bigger ratings than Mary. Valerie came in and said that she used to see Howard in Central park all the time. She said that he's like a fashion guy. She said she loves those curly locks of his.

    Howard said Valerie slimmed down and got herself in shape. He said she was kind of heavy back in the Rhoda days. She said she was back then. SHE said that her thighs got her into that part. She said she didn't think she'd get the part since she was a brunette like Mary was.

    Howard asked if that show was her big break. She said it was. Howard asked if she had any idea it was going to be that huge. Valerie said she did not. She said she lost out on auditions because she didn't smoke and didn't know how to fake it. She said that was back in the day when they sold cigarettes. Howard asked how it was when she got the role on Mary's show. She said that she got the call from the people running the show. Howard asked if she knew anyone who tried out for the role. Valerie said she did. She said Jim Brooks knew a Rhoda he worked with an he based the character on her. Howard said they say that Jim Brooks is brilliant when it comes to sitcoms. Valerie said he really is.

    Howard asked Valerie about auditioning for the show and if she got to audition with Mary. Valerie said not the first time. She said that the room was very warm and welcoming. She mentioned some of the people who were there. She said the script was marvelous. She said that she as new to TV but the show was written beautifully. She said it was like a play.

    Howard said she was being paid $700 an episode. Valerie said he's right and he's a good researcher. Howard said that's not that much money. He said she was a working stiff. Valerie said that she was part of a working ensemble. She said that there wasn't a lot of money.

    Howard asked about Ed Asner and if he was a good guy. She said he was great. She said Ted knight was great too. She said he died quite a few years ago of some kind of cancer. She said they were very close and she went to the funeral. Howard asked if it was star studded. She said it was. Howard asked if she said a few words. Valerie said she didn't but others did. Howard asked if she's still in touch with Mary. Valerie said she just spoke to her 3 weeks ago. Howard asked if Mary was jealous that her show got bigger ratings. Valerie said Mary owned the show so she was happy with that. Valerie said she was worried that the show would fail but Mary told her that she could move back into the city and back on her show.

    Howard said the amazing thing is that people hated Rhoda when she came on the show. Then they came up with a good idea to have a little girl say that she likes Rhoda. Valerie said that they wanted the character to be the way she was but they came up with the idea to have the 9 year old like her. She said that she called her Aunt Rhoda and that's the way they got people to like the character. Howard said the audience must be dumb. Valerie said they're not though. Howard said when they were working on his movie they needed women to like it so they had to manipulate the audience. Valerie said Howard's movie was great. She said she loves Howard as a judge too. She said he's telling the truth.

    Howard asked if Valerie went in and asked for more money on the show. Valerie said they all did it and they dig give them raises. Valerie said she got great money for the times.

    Howard said that the Mary Tyler Moore show was a hit. Valerie said it wasn't in the beginning. She said it was toward the end that it did. Howard asked about getting the spin off and if that was very tempting. Valerie said she thought she was being fired. She didn't know what that spin off term meant. She said that they told her that they would take care of her show. Valerie said the show was about her trying to find a man. Howard said she found a really good looking guy too. Howard asked if people got upset that he was so good looking. Valerie said that it did come out later on.

    Howard asked Valerie about how they could write for her when she found a good looking man. Valerie said that they did a very brave thing to take a real success and do a wedding. She said they had 52 million viewers. Howard said he was right there. He said he masturbated to that episode. Valerie laughed.

    Howard asked if she started acting early. She said she started out dancing. She said she played Little Abner on Broadway. Howard asked if she was a ballerina. She said she wanted to be. Howard asked if she still goes to Ballet and says she wishes she could have been. Valerie said she doesn't.

    Howard said he is so angry about her cancer. Howard said she never smoked a cigarette. He said she lives a healthy lifestyle and she still got cancer. Valerie said her husband, Tony, is very healthy too. Howard said he gets angry because she had lung cancer. Valerie said they found it by accident in 2009. She said they found a dot on her x-ray. She said they said it could be nothing. She said that she was very nervous. She said it was very small. She said they biopsy the thing and then they took out the lobe.

    Valerie said that she had an x-ray every six months and there was nothing. Valerie said she was in rehearsal for something and her jaw started to get numb and she wasn't able to remember her lines. She said Tony thought she was having a stroke. She said she had tests done and then they tell her she has this type of cancer in the lining around the brain and up and down the spine. She said that it's not in the brain but around the brain. She said that this lining is around the spine, the brain and genitals. She said that Chemo can't get in there to fix it. Howard wondered why she got cancer and didn't smoke. She said that they say that 60 percent of lung cancer is with non smokers. She said that smoking has an effect but it's not as causal as people make it. She said that it's kind of a protecting thinking you can't get it if you don't smoke. Valerie said it's false cause.

    Valerie said that her cancer came back and they didn't know if it was related to what she had removed. She said they took spinal fluid and Dr. Lisa De Angeles said that she could do the work there in New York but they wanted her to go to L.A. Howard said they had heard she would live 3 months or something. Valerie said that's right. She said that was her husband. She said that she didn't want it seeping out on the internet that this stuff was going on. Valerie said that people lived Rhoda and she was standing in the glow of Rhoda.

    Howard asked Valerie how she has managed to stay alive and thrive. Valerie said it's great care. She said there is new medicine that they're using and she's going to be publicizing over this. Howard asked if she can get the Chemo for this or not. She said you can. She said there is more stuff in the pipeline for this cancer. She said there are more people getting into this type of cancer research.

    Valerie said that everyone is terminal. She said that she did plan her funeral after this all came out. She said she finally got a will too. Valerie said they had one but they had to do something better. She said she told Tony they had to do it because he didn't want to do it. Valerie said you should make a will even if you're 40. Valerie said that death is inevitable. She said that she got all of her affairs in order.

    Howard asked how she's doing. Valerie said that the doctors say that it's incurable but they don't see anything right now. She said that January 2013 was when they got the diagnosis. Howard did the math and counted the months. Howard said she has lived a year and 4 months after saying she would live 3-6 months. Valerie said that they can only go by their experience. Howard said she seems like the life of the party. He said she has more energy than he does. Howard said he would be in a panic if he were in her situation.

    Valerie said her husband won't even go to funerals. She said he has panic attacks over the whole thing. Howard asked if they ever get upset after having sex or anything. Valerie joked that Tony keeps looking at his watch after they do it because he's wondering what she's doing hanging around.

    Howard said he would have been like ''Fuck Dancing with the Stars'' if he had 3 months to live. Valerie said that she's going on 75 and she loves dancing. She said that the doctors tell you what might be ahead. She said they don't give you a death sentence.

    Howard asked how people voted her off. He said they're such animals. Valerie said she wasn't doing the steps right. She said that her knees were killing her. She said that it wasn't even the cancer.

    Howard said that Valerie is there to promote ''Signed, Sealed and Delivered'' which is on the Hallmark channel. Howard asked if they make her go through some kind of evaluation to make sure she can get through something like that. Valerie said she has to have a physical. She said that the wonderful Martha Williams wrote this and it's great. She said that it's 4 people and they deliver undeliverable mail. Howard said that's very Touched by an Angel kind of thing. Howard asked how long it took to shoot. Valerie said she was there for a week or so.

    Howard asked if she is doing anything special like jumping out of airplanes. Robin asked if she has a bucket list. Valerie said she doesn't have a bucket list. She said she is taking on parts and she had to take this part that Martha wrote for her. She said she wrote it just for her.

    Howard asked if she has the same routine every day. Howard said he thinks he would. Valerie said that she's grateful that she's there and that she's not suffering. Howard said he thinks it's her attitude. Valerie said it's the drug she's taking. She said that she gets a little queasy from it. She said she has to take 10 pills in one day and it makes her queasy. She said she does that once a week. Then she's up and running. Valerie said she hasn't had any bad stuff like headaches. She said it could arise at any time though. She said she could get hit by a bus. Howard said we're all dying and we don't know when we're going to drop dead. Robin said if she wasn't doing what she liked she would have quit and gone and done what she wanted to do.

    Howard said he once said that Valerie was going to outlive the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and she did. Howard said that's great.

    Howard said Valerie said earlier that she feels bad for younger people but you never feel you've lived enough. Valerie said that's why it's important to seize the day. She said that you have to live the moment. Valerie asked Robin if she had a death sentence. Robin said she did. They said they were just going to try to prolong her life. Howard said Robin is fully cured now. Howard said there is hope. Valerie said that her lung cancer doctor, Jeremy Rudnick, told her that no oncologist has not seen spontaneous remission. She said that hasn't happened with what she has but it could happen.

    Howard asked if Valerie is a wealthy woman. She said in terms of the world she is. Howard asked if she is in terms of money. Valerie said she is not. Howard said she must have made some real dough with Rhoda. Valerie said that was a long time ago. That was 1970. She said money tends to be spent.

    Howard said when the Hogan Family came about it was a disaster. Howard said she quit after two seasons. Valerie said she was wrongfully fired. She said it's ancient history now. She said that she's friends with them all now. She said it was the business part that was trying to do shenanigans. She said that they went to court and settled the whole thing. She said that she had a long form contract that she signed and they refused to get to it. She said that they never signed that contract. Valerie said that was illegal though. Howard said they put Sandy Duncan in the show after that. Valerie said they had a commitment with Sandy and that's what they put her in. Howard asked if she's angry at Sandy for taking that job. Valerie said she's not. She said that she was an actress taking a job. Howard said he would have hoped they'd fail.

    Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said that he was a big fan of the Mary Tyler Moore show. He said the whole family was. Howard said everyone was a fan. Ralph said that he never understood about how she was the hottest chick on the show but she kept doing fat jokes about herself. He asked if that bothered her since she wasn't fat. Valerie said it really didn't. She said that it was very true to live. Ralph said she wasn't fat though. He said he would have banged her over Mary. He said it was always Rhoda for him.

    Howard took a call from Nicole Bass who said she's a big fan of her's. She said when she heard she had brain cancer she was so upset. Nicole said that she hates that doctors give you a time to survive. She said that her husband had serious heart problems and he lived 15 years. Howard thanked her for that. Howard said he knows that Nicole suffers from testicular cancer. He said he was just joking about that of course.

    Howard asked Valerie if everyone got in touch with her when she announced her cancer. Valerie said that everyone contacted her. She said she has stacks of mail she's trying to get through. She said that Carol Burnett sent her a letter. She said that it was funny and sweet. She said she got a letter from Phil Rosenthal who wrote for Everybody Loves Raymond. She said that Mary called her and so many other people. Howard asked what Mary said to her. Valerie said that Mary wanted to have a mass at her house. She said it was a loving expression. She said that she wanted to generate some prayer around her. Valerie said she wasn't able to fly though. She said she went up to 178 pounds because she was eating voraciously. She said she was on steroids and she was ravenous.

    Howard asked if Sandy Duncan contacted her. Valerie said she doesn't think so. She said that a lot of people sent emails though. Valerie said that she has letters piled up. SHE said she has pals, fans and more. She said that made her feel good. Valerie said that she felt burdened that she had to respond. Howard said he would be the same way. Valerie said that people sent her stuff like potions and things. Howard said that sounds bad. Howard said he's glad Robin didn't reveal her cancer. Howard said they would have made her crazy with the potions and snake oil. Robin said that it's horrible. She said that there are tons of so called cancer cures out there.

    Valerie said that she tried some alternative stuff but she wanted to try Rogaine to grow her hair back and her doctor told her no. She said the doctor wanted to get in there with the pills and go at it aggressively. She said the doctors would say ''We'll see you in two months'' after checking her out. She said they told her to tell them if she has any pains or anything. Valerie said that she went to dinner with her daughter one day after taking her 10 pills. She said she went to a pizza place with them. She said she had some pasta and it went down and then came up. She said she ate too soon. Valerie said that the doctor thought that she just ate too soon after taking the pills.

    Howard said that Valerie is not Jewish but people think she is. Valerie said that she grew up in the theater so she knew Yiddish. She said that they didn't want her to use it on Rhoda. She said that she played a Jewish woman on Rhoda. She said that she got the accent from living in New York and having so many great people in the business with it.

    Howard asked if Valerie ever had a hard time remembering her lines. Valerie said it depends on how long she had to learn them. Howard said Tracy Morgan was talking about how he has a photographic memory so he learns them very quickly. Valerie said that's great. She said that she learned her lines for ''Signed, Sealed and Delivered'' very quickly. She said that's because it's written so well.

    Howard asked how long it took to learn her lines on Mary Tyler Moore. She said it was about a week. She said they did it like a play and they had to know their lines. She said that she would screw up once in a while though. Howard asked if there were people who didn't know their lines and screwed up the whole production. Valerie said that didn't happen very often. She said it did happen at times though.

    Valerie said they had a woman playing a little old lady and she came in dressed in a running suit. Valerie said that she looked 50 and they were going to fire her. Valerie said that she had to play 100 instead. She gave her the advice and the woman made the adjustment.

    Howard asked who the greatest actress of her time is. Valerie mentioned Meryl Streep and Cate Blanchett. She said that Maureen Stapleton was great too. Howard asked who the best sitcom actress was. Valerie said that she loves what Mary does but she thinks Lucille Ball was the best.

    Gary came in and said that Valerie has to leave in about 4 minutes. Howard gave her some more plugs and talked about how she is known to be a great person in the business. He said everyone loves her and loves working with her. Howard said he's assuming he's in her new will. Valerie said that she has talked about coming on the show and she worried about the show 30 years ago. She said his producer said that was 30 years ago and she should just do it. Valerie said that she has heard on the street that Howard is great. She said she has heard that from so many people. Valerie said that Howard's shtick has worked for him but he's gotten so full from it. She said that she has to say it while she has the mind to say it. Howard said he's sorry she's going through this health situation the way she is. Valerie said there are so many people who have it worse. She said everyone has stuff.

    Howard asked if she believes in God. She said she does as god as a connected thing between human beings. Howard asked if she thinks she's going somewhere. She said that not as Valerie but as a spirit. Howard asked if she's afraid that she'll upset God if she says something. She said she doesn't know if there is anything or not. She said that god is love and what people do. She said it's what brings out the best in them. Howard said if he were her he'd compliment god. Valerie said she was raised catholic and god is very powerful in that religion. Howard asked if she has done anything really bad that would keep her out of heaven. Valerie said she doesn't think so. Howard asked if she has ever stolen. She said she has. She said she shoplifted in her teens. Howard asked who hasn't. Valerie said she went to confession for that. Howard said Valerie really has to go. Howard said if she leaves this planet she has to give a secret word to him so she can get in touch with him through a psychic. Robin said she must mean a lot to Howard because he never even asked her for that.

    Howard gave Valerie some plugs and wrapped up with her. Howard said he hopes that she never pleasured herself because God looks down on that. Valerie said that everyone does that in their teens. Howard said he's 60 and he just did that last night. Howard spent another minute with Valerie and then had to let her go. They went to break after that. - As Seen on Howard Stern

  • Howard Takes Calls And Plays Some Audio Clips. 04/16/14. 8:55am
    After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a Tradio show with some fake products they had for sale. Fred also played Sting's ''Roxanne'' as they were coming back.

    Howard came back and asked where this is from. Fred said he wasn't sure. Howard said it is a live performance. He said it's a jazzy version. Fred said he does that sometimes.

    Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who said Valerie Harper was fantastic. He said Howard is a great interviewer. Tommy asked what they should do with this guy who they caught in Boston who put the fake bomb out. Howard asked if it was a stunt. Robin said there was a rice cooker in the bag. Howard said he should get life in prison. He said that's dangerous. Howard said that is not cool. Tommy said you can see the video of the guy walking down the street with a black veil under it. He said he was yelling ''Boston Strong'' too. Howard said they should put him in jail for a couple of years at least. Tommy said they should put him in a cell with the guy who did the bombing last year.

    Robin said you do wonder what to do with the crazies like that. Howard said we don't need them walking around. Howard said they have a prison system for people like that. Howard said they need to lock everyone up so he's safe.

    Howard said it's a miracle that they don't have more crazy people out there. Howard said it's shocking that there aren't more people running around naked on the streets and things like that.

    Howard said he has a lot of things to play. He said Dikembe Mutombo was on a show and was asked what his full name was. He gave the full name and it went on and on. Robin said he has to be making something up. Howard said he knows his whole name.

    Howard said Valerie Harper gave Gary a note that had the word that she will have to pass on to a psychic when she passes away. Howard said that he hopes she lives another 100 years but if she doesn't, he's going to contact psychics and try to find her. Robin said she doesn't have much faith in that. Robin said they only give the first initial when she sees psychics working. Howard said he will be speaking with Valerie Harper through psychics some day.

    Howard said there was a guy who won Wheel of Fortune but he got one wrong because he wasn't able to pronounce the word ''Achilles.'' Howard said he wasn't able to say the name. Howard said the guy also missed the word ''decision'' in ''On the spot decision''. He said something like ''On the spot diespin''. Howard said the guy ended up winning anyway. Howard said they say that it was a million dollar blunder because he had landed on the million dollar spin on the wheel. Howard said the guy couldn't read. Howard said you have to be able to read to play the game. Howard said a lot of people think he should have won. Robin said no. Howard said he doesn't get it.

    Howard said he watches a lot of FOX News. He said his best friends are on the show The Five. He said that he watches the show each night and he feels like they're his friends. Robin said maybe he is communicating with them every day. Howard said that he knows them better than his own family. He said he doesn't listen to his own family that much.

    Howard said he loves this about FOX News. He said that they have a right wing agenda and they're not subtle about it. Howard said they did a story this morning about a study done about marijuana. Howard played the clip and they were talking about how the brain is changed if you smoke marijuana. They read that report and then read a story about how President Obama smoked a ton of pot. Howard said they hate Obama there. Robin said that's funny. Robin said they aren't subtle at all.

    Howard said Pharrell Williams is coming in soon. He said he has a number one song called ''Happy'' and he was on Oprah recently. He said he cried on the show and Oprah said something to him that is so new age. He played the clip of Pharrell crying about his career and how great it feels. Then Oprah says she gets it, she really gets it. She said that it's so ''infectuous'' and it came from such a clear space and it flows from heart to heart. Howard said he wishes that he could analyze that sentence. Robin said she doesn't even get the word infectious right. Howard said that he has no idea what that even means. He sad she should explain herself. Howard said they don't understand what she's talking about.

    Howard had another clip to play but he said he has to get to the news. Fred told him to do a quick live commercial first.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said that he hates when Gary comes in and stops an interview. Howard said she is out promoting so they can't help that. Howard said he gets it like Oprah gets it. He did an impression of Oprah and goofed on that clip he had played earlier. Howard had the line written down for him and he read it back. Howard said she is something else. Howard said no wonder people love her. He said that's a lot of hocus pocus. Howard said women are so embracing of one another. He said women love her saying stuff like that.

    Howard had the top 5 songs. He said Idina Menzel was at number 5. Howard said number 4 was Jason Derulo. Katy Perry was number 3 and at number 2 was John Legend. Number 1 was Pharrell Williams.

  • Robin's News. 04/16/14. 9:15am
    Howard asked Robin to start her news. They played her in with a song parody to the tune of a Pharrell Williams song. They played a second song parody about Robin's bra. Robin asked if she can do her news now. Howard said he had one more song. He had one from Matt Evans. He said Daniel Mendelson did the one before that.

    Robin started her news with a story about Artie Lange had a problem. Robin said he was in the hospital outside of Detroit. Robin said he went into a diabetic shock. Howard said he didn't think Artie was a diabetic. Jon Hein came in and told Howard he could be borderline diabetic. He said he has never gone into shock like that himself. Howard got a report saying that Artie has type 2 diabetes that he was diagnosed with in 2012. Robin said she was sorry to read that this morning.

    Robin read a story about Ellen Degneres being voted the most powerful gay woman in America. Robin read some of the other names on the list.

    Robin read a story about David Letterman's replacement being on the show next week. Howard said that's Stephen Colbert. Robin said that the two hosts will sit together.

    Robin said there's a new scam going on where people get a call saying that you owe more on your taxes and ask you to send more money. Robin said they have at least 20,000 victims of this scam. Howard said he didn't think that anyone could fall for that. Fred played some clips of Gary the Retard as if he were the one falling for that scam.

    Robin had Howard play a clip of Neil Young's ''Heart of gold'' and told Howard that he is trying to raise funds for his new Pono music service. Robin said he started a Kickstarter thing and he raised $6.2 million. Robin said 18,000 people gave to that campaign. Robin said he only needed $800,000. Howard said he'd buy a house if he had that money. Robin told Howard that this is a higher definition music service. Howard said he doesn't think anyone cares.

    Robin asked Howard if he knows what this Saturday is. Howard said he's going to be working all day. He said he actually starts on Monday on AGT. Robin said this weekend is Worldwide Record Store day. Howard did his impression of Gary talking about his vinyl records while Fred played a scratchy record sound over him. Howard kept goofing on Gary so Gary said he's going to get his calligraphy cap and quill so he can write. Howard said at least he's creating something with that. Fred played a song parody about Gary's vinyl after that. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.

    After the break, around 9:35am, we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a phone sex line using Tracy Morgan audio clips. Fred also played Red Hot Chili Peppers ''Give it Away'' as they were coming back. Howard came back and said he really doesn't give a shit about vinyl. He said he can play whatever he wants on his iPod. Howard said it matters to Neil Young but the rest of them don't really care that much. Howard said it's cool but people just want it easy. Robin said that's the problem, it's so easy. Howard said he remembers getting albums that were warped. Robin said there were always problems with the needle too. Howard said the scratchy record noise Fred keeps playing makes him crazy.

    Robin said she used to wonder where drugs were before she took them. Robin said that a guy from Trinidad was caught smuggling 2 pounds of heroin in his underwear. Robin said he was caught because of the way he was walking. Robin said they found a hard object in his groin and found the heroin. Howard said he doesn't understand why they don't just make it all legal. Robin said that way they wouldn't have to take things that were in someone's butt. Howard said they say that some people do drugs so much that their pets are getting it in them. Howard said there are so many people doing this stuff and he's not sure why it's a problem. Howard said they found in Colorado that the same people who smoked weed are still smoking it. It didn't make more people smoke.

    Robin said that Michael Strahan is now on Good Morning America as well as Live with Kelly and Michael. Robin had a clip from Good Morning America when Michael made his debut. Robin said he will be on a few times a week.

    Robin read about Courtney Love's online series called Love on Love. Robin said she only seems to get in trouble with it. Robin said she said she's not a fan of Bruce Springsteen's. Robin had a clip of her talking about that. Robin said she does admit she enjoys the 1982 album Nebraska though. Robin said she isn't a fan of Bruce's though. Howard said it's fun to comment on that stuff. He said that's what people who are into music do. Howard said he was into the Beatles and people used to fight over who was better. He said even when he works at radio stations there are people who would argue over music even though it didn't matter one bit. He said that it's unbelievable. Robin said that other artists shouldn't be critiquing other artists like that. Howard said he finds it refreshing. He said he likes it. Robin said she doesn't care that she doesn't like the saxophones in his music. Howard said he doesn't think anyone cares. Howard told Robin not to try analyzing her.

    Robin read a story about a teen age girl who was caught shoplifting from a Victoria's Secret store. They found the stuff she was stealing and a dead baby in her bag. Robin said she went right out to get some skinny jeans. Robin said the baby was actually in her purse in a bag. Robin said she must have been anxious to get into some skinny clothes.

    Robin read about Mayor Bloomberg deciding to use his own money to get better gun control laws passed. Howard said he saw that. He said he loves the guy but he fucked him over personally recently. Howard said he didn't want to talk about that though. He said it was a personal thing. Howard said he is his biggest supporter but he did fuck him in a way. Robin asked if he knew he was fucking him. Howard said he knew. Howard said it's just ''fuck Howard... fuck your biggest supporter.'' Robin said he's not running for anything. Howard said he did love him as mayor. Robin said she wishes she knew what this was about. Howard said it's not that big of a deal. Howard said he is a rich guy who is used to getting whatever he wants. He said he gets it. It's not that big of a deal and he's already over it. Howard said it's miniscule but it ruined his perfect image of him.

    Robin asked Howard if he knows about these claw machines that you play to get toys out of. Howard said that's how he got Fred's engagement ring. Robin said this woman found out her 3 year old walked out of her apartment and they found the kid inside a claw machine. Robin said he was fine and he was given one of the toys to play with. Robin wondered how he got inside the machine. Robin said no one is telling her. Robin said this was in Lincoln, Nebraska.

    Robin read a story about a man who killed a woman and stayed in her home for days. Robin said it was the husband of the woman who was killed. Robin said the guy told the cops his marriage just didn't work out.

    Robin read a story about the Boston marathon packages that had to be detonated. Robin said someone left a back pack on the sidewalk and the cops had to destroy it. Robin had some audio of an official talking about that. Howard said he can't imagine anyone doing that as a joke. Howard said that's just a creep. Robin said they say it was a man walking barefoot and yelling ''Boston Strong'' out on the street. Robin said that a media outlet accidentally left one on the sidewalk but this guy left that one out there.

    Robin read about the guy who shot up the Jewish center in Kansas has been charged. Robin had some audio of someone reading the charges. Robin said the suspect, Frasier Glenn Cross, is being held on a bond of $10 million. Howard asked if he knows that he didn't kill any Jews yet. Robin said it's all over the news. Robin said he was motivated by his hatred for Jewish people. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

    Robin read more about the story she had yesterday about a 3 year old girl doctors were growing a new ear for. Robin said the ear transplant will happen in June. Howard said that's great. Howard said this gives hope to Benjy who was partially eaten by a raccoon as a child.

    Robin read about a couple of formerly co-joined twins will be getting out of the hospital this week. Robin said they are going to have to do inpatient visits to the hospital. Robin said that they were separated in August and are set to be released today.

    Howard took a call from a woman who asked if he had Jimmy Kimmel and Ralph needing a kidney, who would he give it to. Howard said it's just not happening. He said he's not giving anyone his kidney. Howard said he's not giving anyone anything. He said that he thinks it's terrific that people do that but he's not going to. Robin said her kitty, Leroy, gave up part of his kidney to save another cat. Howard said that's great but he's not giving his up. Robin said he could lie and make himself look like a hero. Howard said he's just not doing it. Howard said if he was ill he'd expect someone to give him a kidney.

    Robin said Howard never says he loves life. Howard said he does love it. He said he is a home body though. He said he loves life but just not when he's at work. He said when he's home he loves life. Howard said he has a date with his wife today and he's looking forward to that. Robin said she's happy to hear that. Howard said he sits with his bosses and tells them he loves it there. He said once he gets there he wants to go home. He said once he's home he's so happy. He said he loves it all at home. Howard said home is the key. He said his parents scared him from going out. He said he can entertain himself all day in a room alone. He said he would thrive in a rec room at a mental home.

    Robin read a story about how Walmart's low wages are costing the country billions in food stamps and subsidized housing. Robin said a spokesman for Walmart says that is not accurate.

    Robin read a story about the Oscar Pistorius trial and how they're asking for a delay by the prosecution. Robin had some audio of the judge talking about that delay. Robin said the trial is going to adjourn for 2 weeks after this week.

    Robin read a story about a ferry sinking off the coast of South Korea. Robin said there are over 200 people missing. Robin said they're not sure why it sang but some people say they heard an impact. Robin said the ferry was also carrying about 150 vehicles.

    Robin wanted to talk about Game of Thrones but Howard told her to hold off just in case someone hasn't seen it yet. Howard said that this season is very good so far. Robin said she screams when they introduce new characters. Howard said he really likes Peter Dinklage in the show. He said he is so great. Robin said she hopes that the girl falls in love with him. Howard said the one girl who still gets naked is the one he likes. He said he's over the Khaleesi. He said she announced she won't get naked anymore. He said she's not doing anything with those dragons either. Howard said she needs that guy Cesar Milan to help her train them. Howard said they should have the dragons set her on fire to burn her clothes off. Robin said that wouldn't be appropriate since she's their mother.

    Robin read that there's a new voice pack coming out for Call of Duty and Snoop Dogg will be one of the voices. Robin said she had some of the audio of Snoop Dogg's music. Robin said most of his dialog will be written by the game makers but he will be able to put his spin on it.

    Robin read a story about Dolly Parton's library continuing to grow. Robin said she has 700,000 children enrolled in her program. Robin said that her father was illiterate and that inspired Dolly to start this charity. Robin had some audio of Dolly talking about that. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:10am.


-- Wrap Up Show Wrap Up --

  • Wrap Up Show - Valerie Harper And Vinyl. 04/16/14. 10:10am
    Jon Hein started the show talking about what happened on the show today and what he wanted to talk about. Jon said he wanted to start off with Howard going off on Gary about his vinyl during the news. Gary said he never said it was better than digital. He said it sounds better but not for him to swear off digital music. Gary said he told Fred in his home theater he has a turntable. He said he has used it maybe 4 times in the past year and a half. He said it's fun but it's not his whole life.

    Jon said Howard doesn't care. He goes after him anyway. Gary said Fred was laughing too and he's the biggest hypocrite. He said he's just doing his job though.

    Gary said he has been getting sent a lot of vinyl. He said he gets a lot of 45s for his jukebox. He said he got some Roy Orbison and Sam Cook albums. He said that Lucas is set up to do his DJing and he listens to records. He said it's not the only thing he does though. Gary said he took a shot at Howard over his calligraphy and stuff like that. He aid Howard told him he's creating but he's creating for himself. Gary said he's not sure why there has to be a line in everything. Gary said Howard sitting in a hat with a quill is joy for Howard and listening to vinyl is happiness for him. Jon said that's just the way they roll there.

    Jon said that he thinks Gary made a hit with that jab at Howard. Gary said if it was 6 in the morning he would have gone on a lot longer with that.

    Jon said he and Gary were looking forward to hearing Valerie Harper today. Gary said they grew up watching her on TV. Gary said that in the top 100 episodes of all time the Chuckles the Clown dies episode is listed in the top 100. That was the Mary Tyler Moore show. Jon said so many famous people came out of that show. Gary said that Betty White played a slut on the show. He said JD was shocked when he heard that. That was 50 years ago though. Gary said that they showed a clip from the Mary Tyler Moore show on a news segment when they were talking about the disparity in salaries between men and women. He said that it was a funny bit from the Mary Tyler Moore show.

    Gary and Jon talked about the 52 million people who watched the wedding on Rhoda. Jon said those were really huge numbers back then. They also talked about her $700 a week and how they had manipulated the audience into liking Rhoda. They were talking about how many standards they set on that show and how so many other shows followed it.

    Jon took a call from a guy who said he mentioned Ted Knight in that role. He said he was in Caddyshack after Mary Tyler Moore. He said that he was great in both. He said that he's only 31 but he watched on Nick at Night. Gary said he was such a great character. He said he was so two faced and he said the dumbest shit. Jon said he was great in Too Close for Comfort too. Gary said he's in the movie Psycho too. He said that Ted is the cop outside the room when they take Norman in.

    Jon asked if Valerie was smart to wait 4 years for her spin off. Gary said that Mary's show was a hit so why jump off of it? He said that she was smart to wait. Gary said once you're the lead the spotlight is on you so just go with the other show for a bit.

    Jon asked if Gary thought she looked good today. Gary said Valerie looked great. He said she's 75 and she looks phenomenal for what she's going through.

    Jon asked what you do when you get diagnosed like that. Gary said he would go and do a thing or two that he has always wanted to do. He said he told Shuli about this for the news. He said his family went to the Mediterranean when he was a kid and he would want to go back there. He said he'd take his family there for 10 days or something.

    Gary said he heard a story from one of the guys in the office. He said the person got the diagnosis that they were going to die soon but he ended up spending all of his money and lived for 7 years. Gary said that's really depressing.

    Benjy said he would fight the hell out of it. Benjy said he always tries to clean his stuff up so he thinks he'd end up going through papers. Gary asked why he would do that. Benjy said that his stuff is in storage now. He said he has like 2 drawers of everything he keeps. He said he has two things of storage that weigh him down. Gary asked what his mother would find if he died tomorrow. Benjy said he doesn't think there's anything that he'd be ashamed of. He said his mother might wonder why he keeps this stuff. Benjy said he hates it. He said he's trying to work with that. Gary said he had a box that he used to move around that said ''important papers'' and he looked through it about 5 years ago. He said he threw it all in a fire pit a little bit at a time.

    Benjy asked what else Gary would want to do. Gary said he wants to go the great wall of China. He said he still thinks he'll do that and a couple of other things. Jon said he would want to spend time with his wife and kids if he had 3 months to live. He said he hasn't given it a lot of thought actually.

    Benjy said Howard loves life but he still comes to work and hates being there. Gary said you hear that story about the guy who works for years and years. Then he retires and 2 months later he dies. Gary said sometimes working is a lifeline. It gives you a reason to get out of bed every day. They went to break after that.


  • Wrap Up Show - Valerie Harper. 04/16/14. 10:35am
    After the break Jon had Ronnie in the studio and he was laughing because he was sitting across from Jon. Gary told him to stop referencing stuff that no one can see.

    Jon asked Ronnie who he was into on the Mary Tyler Moore show. Ronnie didn't have a lot to add so Jon just moved on.

    Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Valerie actually gave a word to Gary to give Howard. Gary said she did. He said that he wrote it down and gave it to Howard. The caller asked if it was a Yiddish word. Gary said he's not saying a thing. The caller asked if they know what Bitcoin is. Gary said he doesn't know much about it but he didn't want to get into it now.

    Jon asked Gary if he believes there is a word that Valerie could pass on to Howard through a psychic. Gary said no but he thinks it's fun anyway. Benjy said it would suck if she does pass away and then she tries to pass it through Gary. He said they wouldn't know how to prove that Gary is telling the truth.

    Jon asked Ronnie what he thinks about that. Ronnie said when you're dead you're dead and that's it. He said when you're gone that's it. Ronnie said no one is coming back as someone else. He said he doesn't believe that when you're dead that you'll come back as anything or anyone else.

    Gary said he's with Ronnie but he will watch any movie where it happens. He said he likes the idea of it. Gary said he saw a movie where Matthew Modine comes back as a dog. He said that was really good. He said he saw a Reese Witherspoon movie where she comes back into a guy's life. He said the fantasy seems amazing but he doesn't think it can happen.

    Jon said he wanted to get off of that and back to Valerie. Ronnie asked what Jon thinks about coming back. Jon said he thinks once you're in the ground you're in the ground. He said he doesn't think you come back. Gary said that Valerie said your energy goes somewhere. Ronnie said it goes into the ground. He said everything is just gone, dude. He said you're gone and just get used to it.

    Gary said that he thinks Valerie and her husband were fine before this whole thing happened and that came into play when she found out the news. He said Valerie said that she has done everything she wanted to in her life but she's not ready to go. Benjy said she seems to happy in her life and he would love to be that way. He said she always seems like she has this nice energy. Jon said he is envious of people like that. Benjy said he can't imagine her being bitchy to anyone. He said he'd like to hear from anyone who has been treated like shit by Valerie.

    Jon took a call from a guy who asked Ronnie why he's so nasty. Ronnie said he was asked a question and he answered it. The caller told him to listen to the tape because he sounds like an old, cranky, grandmother. Ronnie told the caller to go listen to himself because he sounds cranky too. The caller said Ronnie is making him cranky. Ronnie said he's cranky a lot of the time. He said Stephanie would tell him that. Benjy asked if he feels cranky. Ronnie said he is very moody. He said he could be happy in 5 minutes from now but when he gets in the car he may be the worst bitch in the world. He said he can't stand driving in the city anymore. Jon said that's what he does for a living though. Ronnie said he's trying to do it as little as he can right now.

    Benjy asked if Ronnie could retire. Ronnie said he can't. Benjy thought his house was paid off. Ronnie said he had to re-mortgage it when he got divorced. He can't retire yet. Gary said he doesn't think he and Fred could either.

    Benjy asked if Ronnie is still in therapy. Ronnie said he is in every week. He said it's basically topics of shit that's going on in his life constantly. Gary asked if he thinks he'll ever graduate. Ronnie said he'll do that on his own. He said he's not waiting for some guy to tell him he's okay because that will never happen. Gary said he was able to graduate. He said he got through his issue. He said he goes back once in a while. He hasn't been to the guy in about 4 years now though.

    Benjy said he started going in the last 6 months or so and it's great. He said he would do it every day if he could afford it. He said he thinks you can get better and better in your life. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.

    Help Save / Support

  • Wrap Up Show - Howard's Work Ethic And More. 04/16/14. 10:50am
    After the break Jon brought up the article Howard read from Variety. He said that Howard was explaining why he has people like that on his show. Gary said the guy probably didn't hear their show and figured it was just bad. Gary said you have to hear the context. He said Howard made a good point about how they never bashed Donahue and guys like that when they would interview racists and hateful people like that. Gary said that he's not sure why you can't interview a prostitute and then talk politics.

    Benjy said he thinks that the guy was just asking if he really wants his show associated with this. Gary said that he was saying that as if putting the guy on was a bad idea. Benjy said that Gary goes through that dilemma sometimes. He said that he wonders if there is value there to bring this evilness on the show. Gary said they had that guy on the show because he was in the news for running ads that stations weren't able to turn down. He said it was big news and they were interested in finding out what he had to say about those ads.

    Jon said Howard was talking about how he wasn't friends with anyone at WNBC and he was making everyone his enemy. He said he called himself an ass for the way he acted back then. Jon asked Gary about being around that Howard back then. Gary said that he was a soldier for Howard. He said they had an enemy a day. He said it was exciting for him. Gary said they were the outsiders and they were going to show them. Gary said as he gets older he wonders why he held a grudge against someone. He said it's so not worth it.

    Jon said Howard didn't want to be friends with anyone. He said now he's more open to people. He said that's a big contrast to what he was back then. Ronnie said Howard had friends. He said he used to go out with Neil all the time. He said that they'd go to record stores and go out and do things. He said he wasn't friends with people at work though. Jon said that would have messed with his focus.

    Gary said Howard was so driven that you could get a call at any time on the weekend to do all sorts of work. He said that never bothered him because no one worked harder than Howard. He said Howard had been up for hours working before he called him. He said you can't get mad at someone who is working that hard.

    Jon took a call from a guy who said their show is like a sitcom itself. He said they are hysterical. The caller asked if anyone there is on any medication. He said about a year and a half ago he sat down with someone who asked if he had tried to go on something. He said that it does allow you to focus better. He said he thought about Ronnie and how he might need medication. The caller said he's on something that has settled him down. Jon asked Ronnie if he has considered it. Ronnie said he doesn't want to take any drugs. He doesn't take anything now. Gary asked if he could level himself off would he do it. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said he doesn't want to be bothered. He said he'd be fake if he was on medication. He said he has smoked pot and had a bad experience with it so he hasn't touched it again. He said it wasn't all that long ago really.

    Jon said he doesn't think he would be himself either. He said that's a juvenile attitude though. He said he gets that. Gary said he's torn on it. He said that he doesn't think that you should have to take pills to fix things that you can fix without them. Jon said with that they'll end the Wrap Up Show. He had the guys get in their plugs. They were done around 11:00am.


-- Monday - Tuesday--

  • The Rest Of This Week Is Archived.
    To keep the loading time of this page a little shorter I've filed the rest of this week's news in the archives. Click Here to view this week's archive.
    • Scott The Engineer's Screw Up. 04/14/14. 6:00am
    • Gary's Stories From The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. 04/14/14. 6:10am
    • Howard Takes Some Calls. 04/14/14. 6:25am
    • Glen Miller Audio Clips. 04/14/14. 6:55am
    • Richard Christy's Drunken Saturday. 04/14/14. 7:05am
    • Bam Margera Visits. 04/14/14. 7:20am
    • Phone Calls, Medicated Pete Clips, Shuli And More. 04/14/14. 8:55am
    • Robin's News. 04/14/14. 9:25am
    • Wrap Up Show - Scott's Screw Up And Gary At The Hall Of Fame. 04/14/14. 10:35am
    • Wrap Up Show - Richard And Stryper. 04/14/14. 11:00am
    • Wrap Up Show - Bam, Novak And More With Richard. 04/14/14. 11:15am
    • Howard Plays Guitar. 04/15/14. 6:00am
    • Howard's AGT Work Week In L.A. 04/15/14. 6:15am
    • Howard's New Cat, Yoda, Has Less Than A Year To Live. 04/15/14. 6:20am
    • Fight Promoter Damon Feldman Calls In. 04/15/14. 6:30am
    • Otto Petersen Of Otto & George Dies. 04/15/14. 6:50am
    • News Stories And Boris From Russia. 04/15/14. 6:55am
    • Various Audio Clips And More. 04/15/14. 7:05am
    • Audio Clips And Phone Calls. 04/15/14. 7:20am
    • Tracy Morgan Visits. 04/15/14. 7:45am
    • Howard Takes Some Calls. 04/15/14. 9:05am
    • Robin's News. 04/15/14. 9:20am
    • Wrap Up Show - Howard's Upcoming Trip And More. 04/15/14. 10:20am
    • Wrap Up Show - Tracy Morgan And Ronnie's Sex Advice. 04/15/14. 10:40am
    • Wrap Up Show - Damon Feldman Fights. 04/15/14. 10:50am
    • To Be Archived Later This Friggin Week.
    • To Be Archived Later This Friggin Week.

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