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-- 5 More Years Of --

  • Business As Usual For Now. (Updated January 1, 2021)
    Please read this to find out the latest about the status of

-- Where's Today's Full Rundown? --

  • One Week Delayed Posts Started November 4, 2019
    Beginning on November 4, 2019 my daily rundowns are posted one week delayed unless you're a Patreon supporter. Patreon supporters get a link to my daily rundowns about a week early. For more details please see above ''5 More Years of''

    Here's what you can look forward to reading next week:

    • Fake Donald Trump Visits. 09/21/22. 7:00am
    • Fast Food Talk With Rooster. 09/21/22. 7:15am
    • Howard's Last Talk With Mom... Every Day. 09/21/22. 7:50am
    • iPhone Talk. 09/21/22. 8:00am
    • Calls And Bachelorette Talk. 09/21/22. 8:15am
    • Underdog Lady Clips. 09/21/22. 8:40am
    • Guess Who Farted Game. 09/21/22. 9:00am
    • Anal Bead Chess Cheating? 09/21/22. 9:10am
    • Gary On Mushrooms, Ronnie And More. 09/21/22. 9:20am
    • Fan Feedback, Fisting And More. 09/21/22. 9:40am
    • Debbie the Cum Lady And High Pitch Erik Update. 09/21/22. 10:25am

    Last week's rundowns are now available. See below...

-- Wednesday, September 14, 2022 --

  • TV Talk, Howard's Cancer, Music And More. 09/14/22. 7:00am
    Howard started the show talking about being on vacation and how he was full of high hopes for things he was going to do. He said he did almost none of them. He said he had one painting he was working on and it's mostly done. He said he just sat around a lot. He said his wife kept saying they have to get back to life but this is the life he wants just sitting around and painting.

    Howard said he watched the rest of the Emmys last night. He said he saw the Jimmy Kimmel thing. He said he saw the bit and no one was upset about it. He said it was very cute. He said he told Jimmy a million times to stop going to the Emmys. He said it's so lame. He said it's douche chill moments one after another. He said he has to stop trying to entertain people who are congratulating each other. He said they tried to do a bit and now he's getting blasted for committing to the bit. He said the woman who he was laying there for was very kind to him.

    Howard said he was watching the show last night. He said he forgets what he was trying to say there. He said he forgets where he's leading. He said he enjoys being in his home and painting.

    Robin said he would want all of his interactions to be on TV. Howard said yes. He said he told his therapist he misses seeing him in person and he said they can make that happen. Howard said he doesn't want to leave his house though. He said if he had a problem he would do something about it. He said he has no problem staying in the house. He said he has everything there he wants. He said he has his wife and his painting and all of that. He said he just wants to eat, bang and paint.

    Howard said his wife is pushing him to get back out and start going out to eat. He said she wants him to eat in a restaurant. He said now he has to roll the dice and possibly get COVID.

    Howard said Jimmy didn't do anything wrong at the Emmys. He said he tried calling him but he wasn't able to get him. He said he wanted to tell him to say fuck these people. He said just do your thing and not worry about it. He said he didn't pick up so maybe he's upset about the whole thing. He said he saw Bill Hader who was at the Emmys. He said he hasn't seen Barry but it must be good if he's in it. He said he watches a lot of things and he has the taste of a young girl. He said there's a show on Netflix about a girl who gets hot one summer and that's the kind of thing he wants to watch. Robin said she saw Joey King is doing another movie. She said she knows Howard likes those. She said she's the girl in the high school. Howard said she's in The Kissing Booth. Robin said now she's the girl you want to see hooking up with someone in a movie. Howard said he would have had a crush on her in college but she never would have looked at him. Robin said you don't know that. Howard said he knows.

    Howard said he hasn't been watching a lot of shows. He said he's just getting back into Virgin River. He said he has been into that a long time. Robin wondered about him seeing this Princess movie Joey is in. Howard said he hasn't seen that one. He said he does like Morbius. Robin said she thought it was terrible. Howard said it was good. He said he likes Jarred Leto. He said he was in Justice League as The Joker too. Robin got confused about DC and Marvel stuff and didn't know that the Joker was a DC thing.

    Howard said he was up early during vacation. He said he was reveling in the time off. He said he never went swimming. He said he went to the dermatologist. He said he had cancer removed. He said he called Robin immediately about that. He said he told her he was a fellow survivor. He said he can relate to what she's gone through.

    Howard said this was a little dot on his back he got rid of. He said he was told they can do a burn and scrape or a Moes surgery. He said it's where they can take it all out and do a surgery. He said that sounds like the right way to go but he went with the scrape. He said it wasn't healing and he wasn't able to go swimming the whole summer.

    Howard said he doesn't like to get the sun on his face. He said when he was a kid he never put any lotion on. He said of course he's going to have shit on his back now. He said he never had lotion. He said they'd run around on the beach without anything covering them up.

    Howard said the scab was stuck on his back because of a hair. He said he had to go back for that. He said that all took up his time this summer. He said he was so busy with the scab the whole time.

    Howard said he got into painting again this summer. He said he has a real appreciation for this Gary Clark Jr. He said he heard him doing a cover of Jimi Hendrix's ''Third Stone From the Sun'' and that's a weird one to chose. He said he loves the whole album but this isn't the song you'd pick to cover. He said you'd cover any other song on that album. He said Gary has this 9 minute version of that song and the original was like 6 minutes long. Howard said what Gary did was take the music from that song and made a song of his own out of it. He said that's a really cool thing to do. He said he's thought about how cool that would be to do and this song is 9 minutes long. He said he's not going to play the whole thing but here it is. He played some of the song. He said this guy is still rocking. He said he should have a bigger following than he does. Robin said he has a following.

    Howard asked how good this is. He said he interviewed this guy and he's very mellow. He said he's not sure if he's high or what. Robin said she went to see a show and he told her to come by. She said she wasn't going to be able to stay up after a show.

    Howard said if you listen to this whole song you hear the song he made up. He said he starts singing something else. He fast forwarded through it to find him singing. Howard said it will take forever. He got to the point where Gary sings his own thing. Howard said this is the same song. He said you'd never know it.

    Howard said it's fucking brilliant. He said he would have been good for Robin if he wasn't married. Robin said this man wouldn't have been good for her. Howard asked if you become Robin Clark Jr.? He said he saw Robert Downey Jr. over the summer and he wonders if his wife is a Junior or just a Downey. Robin said she's not sure about that. She said he'd have to check on that. Robin said there's this King Charles now and the Queen Consort. Howard said that took him by surprise. Howard said there's a dog food named King Charles. He said he laughs when he hears about King Charles.

    Howard said the guys wrote to him and said that Robert Downey Jr.'s wife is not a junior. He said he may have called her Susan Downey Jr. He said he's one of the few people he saw over the summer. He said he went through testing and he let him in the house. He said he tested him two times before letting him in. He said his wife is a doll. He said they have a very tight relationship. He said there are others who come over and they're not that tight.

    Robin asked about this Tom Brady and Gisele thing. Howard said it's fucking crazy. He said she's not denying it either. He said that Robin is available if he needs someone.

    Howard said the other song that was driving him crazy was this School of Fish song called ''3 Strange Days.'' Howard said he's not sure how they don't have more hit songs. Robin said they're a one hit wonder. Howard said he's not sure how that happens. He said this song is perfect. Howard said what a song. He said he starts painting like a madman when that song comes on.

    Howard said he was thinking about ZZ Top too. He said they were playing their stuff on the app and he was watching Dusty play. He said he's gone now. He said the whole band is great. He said he was watching them when they were on their show and they were so great. He played some of their stuff. Howard said you should check out their stuff on the app. He said this is so good.

    Howard said Dusty is gone and the world just goes on. Robin said the queen is gone too and the world goes on. Howard said the queen was born into that and Dusty worked his ass off for what he had. Robin said you can't just stop. She said you have to move on.

    Howard said he was painting away over the summer and Beth hates what he listens to. He said she's into soft rock and stuff. He said he has to change what he's listening to if she comes into the room.

    Howard said he was listening to this cover version of Raspberry Beret by the Hindu Love Gods. He said he was listening to it and thought it was really good. He played some of the song for Robin. He said he's listening to it and thinking about how good it is. He said he wanted to turn people on to it. He said it sounds like Warren Zevon singing. He said it sounds so good and he wanted to look into it. He said it turns out it is Warren Zevon who got together with the members of REM. He said he's not sure how he missed that whole thing. Robin said he must have missed a lot of music. Howard said that's what Meg Griffin used to say about him.

    Howard said this made him think that this was the reincarnation of Warren Zevon and it turns out it is Warren. He said they did a bunch of songs apparently. Howard said he didn't discover anything. He said he was going to sign these fuckers.

    Howard said he had another thought about music over the summer. He said he was thinking about Ozzy Osbourne. He said that song ''Changes'' that he does is so good. He said Ozzy is so good. He said he gets cuckoo over that song. He said Beth yells at him over stuff like that. He said he gets all moody. He played some of that song too.

    Howard said it's hard to believe that Ozzy can sing that well. He said this is really good. He said here we go. Ozzy starts singing about going through changes and Howard said that gets him. Robin said it gets her too.

    Howard said right after your father dies play this. He said it made him feel something. He said he spent most of his life pushing away emotion. Robin said he must know it's there then. Howard said he doesn't even know it. Howard said he's pushing and getting emotional hemorrhoids.

    Howard said he also found this band called A Short Walk to Pluto. He said they cover a lot of songs. He said he listened to some of their original music and he likes their covers better. He played some of their covers. He said it's really good.

    Howard said he's not sure who they are but they must be a cover band. He said they have their own music though. Howard said don't tell him this is also Warren Zevon or he'll smash his head into a wall.

    Howard said they're pretty good. He said maybe they have some good original tunes. He said the female singer is very good. He said he's looking into that for his research for the show.

    Howard said he tells Beth that's what he's doing when he listens to music. He said he has to do work and meanwhile he's painting and listening to music.

    Howard said he's still digging the Tom Morello show on Lithium. He said that guy is good. He said that motherfucker plays good music. He said every show he does is an hour long. He let out a belch during that. He made fun of himself for that. Howard said what Tom does is dedicate a song to Chris Cornell every time. Howard said he misses that guy too. He said Chris is so good. He played the song ''Mailman'' that Soundgarden did. Howard said he doesn't believe that guy killed himself. He said he isn't a conspiracy guy but he was too talented and too good looking. He said he just can't accept it. Robin said that you don't know what reality people are living. Howard said that guy had too much to live for.

    Howard said he has to get in touch with Chris Cornell. He said he wants to talk to someone. He asked if Sal can get in touch with him. He said maybe he can do that next time he floats in the sky. Howard said if Fred ever dies he's going to keep his memory alive like that.

  • Weird Radio Stuff. 09/14/22. 7:40am
    Howard said he was reading about radio over the summer and he read about this guy Eddie Haskell who left this radio station. He said that you never see guys naming themselves like that. He said that no one in any other business names themselves after TV characters. He said you'd never see Steve Jobs renaming himself Eddie Haskell. He said that you just don't see it. He said there are too many goofy dudes naming themselves Eddie Haskell. Robin said this is why they don't have an academy and don't get awards. Howard said no one would do that at Microsoft. He said that they had to beg Fred not to name himself Jed Clampett for years.

    Howard said he also saw that over the summer they had the radio hall of fame inductees named. Howard said Mad Dog Russo wanted to be in it and he finally got his wish. He said he's not sure if he's in yet but he was chosen to be in. He said he knows that will make his day. He said Broadway Bill Lee got in too. He said he was happy to see that.

    Howard said radio doesn't respect itself. He said he brought something to radio. He said he brought his own name. He said they had people like Alison Steel and people like that in the business. He said they worked with Dead Air Dave. He said you don't hear names like that anywhere else. Robin said they do in the mob.

    Howard read about this Eddie Haskell guy and what he did at this station. Howard said they refer to the guy as Eddie Haskell. Howard said they have to get this guy on the air.

    Howard said the radio hall of fame induction ceremony is on October 1st in Chicago. He said tickets are $600 each. He said Mad Dog is going to have to go out there to get his award. Robin asked if he has to buy a whole table. Howard said it is radio. He said he has to pony up $7200 for the table.

    Howard wondered if he got an actual award for that hall of fame thing. He said maybe he should embrace it and put it on his shelf. Robin said there may be a certificate. Howard said that's lame. He said he's not sure if he would show that to people or put it away.

    Robin said she was looking at Jennifer Hudson in a picture and she had her Grammys, Emmy and Academy Award sitting there on her piano. Robin said she's not sure how to feel about that.

  • NFL Jizz Hats, Radio Awards And More. 09/14/22. 7:45am
    Howard said he has to mention this NFL thing. He said they have hats out that look like they have cum on them. He showed it to Robin. He said they may have ripped them off with the caps that Sal jizzed on. He said that's the actual line of caps they have out. He asked Robin if she thinks that they could possibly have ripped them off after watching the jizz stain cap. Robin said she thinks that's exactly what that is. Howard said he may order one. He said they're hideous hats. He said it looks like jizz on it.

    Howard said go on NFL and look at it. He asked Benjy to show the cap he has that he jerked off on. He said that's Richard's cap. Benjy showed the cap to the camera. Benjy did it and Howard said that's what these hats look like. He said it's worth looking at.

    Howard said Mad Dog said on his radio show that he'll be buying a few tables at the radio hall of fame thing. He said that's the only way they can make money with that thing. He said no one is going to donate to that place unless they get in. He said Mad Dog is so excited about getting in.

    Howard asked Jason if he knows if he got something from the hall of fame that he can put on a book shelf. Gary said that they can't confirm that. He said he doesn't remember seeing the award. Robin said she doesn't remember seeing one either. Howard said they may have not sent anything because he had such a bad attitude about the whole thing.

    Howard saw the hall of fame award and he kind of liked the way it looked. He said he thinks he might want that. He said it's very cool. He said it actually looks like it would fall apart.

    Howard said he got a Blockbuster award for Private Parts. He said the whole thing fell apart. He said he's kind of proud of that one. He said it was a bit stone statue with a glass circle that fell out about a year in. He said he did save that. He said it was meaningful to him. He said he got it for his acting. He said they told him he was going to win so he showed up to get the award. He said he wasn't going to go if he didn't win.

    Howard said they put that on TV. He said he was asked who he wanted to give him the award. He said he wanted Heather Locklear to present it. He said he did a dumb thing with that. He said he called Heather up and asked her to give it to him. He said she said yes and he told her he was going to put her on the floor and make love to her. He said she thought it was hysterical. She wanted him to come over and rehearse. He said he didn't go over. He said something could have happened maybe. He said she had friends coming over and they were all going to be in lingerie watching TV. He said he should have gone over. Robin asked if he was married at the time. Howard said he was and that might have been the problem. He said he was a pretty faithful guy. He said it was a fantasy though. He said she was a beauty. He said he remembers hanging out with her back stage at a Bon Jovi concert. He said Ritchie Sambora was married to her at the time. He said he had a nice time with her. He said they had a nice chemistry. He said that's on his part. He said he felt chemistry.

  • Calls, Fan Feedback And Ben Stern Stories. 09/14/22. 7:55am
    Howard took a call from a guy who said over vacation he was listening to the interviews he did and he really is the best. He said he's better than Barbara Walters.

    The caller also sang a little ZZ Top for him. Howard said Billy Gibbons is one of the best guitar players in the world. The caller said they really are great. Howard let the guy go after that.

    Howard said he was listening to the show over the summer and it was quality. He said he liked what he was hearing. He said he was listening to the stuff over the summer in his car and it was funny. He said he was laughing. He said you hear Fred play something and you start laughing. Fred played some drops for him.

    Howard said he got some nice fan feedback about the Rosie O'Donnell interview on Monday. He read through some of that. He said people appreciate her honesty.

    Howard mentioned that his kids made him go see Rent on Broadway. He said that he hated that. He said he did like Hair though. He said he went to see that as a kid. He said he was so afraid that his father was going to get a boner during that. Howard said he used to go out to games with his father and he would complain about him not knowing how to do the right things there. He said he was a puppeteer and he was asked to go out on tour with a group but he turned that down. Robin said he never said that before. Howard said he has to paint himself as a loser so he doesn't mention that. Howard said this guy Bill Baird was a great puppeteer who used to put on a great show. He said his fantasy was to go see this show. He said his mother got tickets but she couldn't go. He said his dad had to take him. He said thank god he enjoyed it. He said he was shaking the whole time like Waldo in the Hot for Teacher video.

    Howard said his mom wasn't able to go and his dad was forced to take him to a movie and he took him to see Barberella. He said he thought he was going to kill himself with his dad there. He said that they went from doing nothing together to almost beating off together. He said after they got in the car it was very quiet. He said his dad never talked to him in the car. He said he would put the radio on with Bob Grant or Bernard Meltzer. He said if he wanted to ask something his dad would tell him to shut up.

    Howard said his dad took him to see Bob Grant at a temple. He said he did a speaking engagement there. He said he was always defending Israel. He said he was broadcasting in New York so that was a good idea.

    Howard said his dad liked Bob Grant. He said he wanted to be like Bob Grant so his dad would listen to him. He said that's why he got into radio.

    Howard took a call from Ralph who said he remembers that Heather Locklear thing. He said he begged him to go. Howard said he did. Ralph said he was out in L.A. and he didn't go over there. He said he had to work in the morning and he told him that story and he wanted to go with him. He said he was like ''Lets go!'' Howard said his work ethic is very strong and he can't do that. He said he had a radio show to do in the morning. He said Ralph had nothing to do. He said he had a show to do.

    Howard said he was asking where Ritchie Sambora was. He said he was out and Heather was wearing a negligee. He said she wanted to rehears making out with him. He said he didn't go. He said that shows his level of dedication to the show.

    Ralph said it was something about work that kept him from going. He said Howard could have gone. Howard said he can't go hang out with a naked Heather Locklear because he had to do something with E! He said he has passed up a lot of opportunities in his life. He said he had the feeling she wanted to do something. He said he's not sure what was going to happen.

    Howard said he remembers that. He said he's glad he didn't go. He said it wouldn't have been good. He said who knows what would have happened.

    Howard thanked Ralph for the call. He said he asked him if it's okay to still do the Ben Stern ''thank you'' thing. He said he thinks that's fine. He said he thinks his dad would be fine with that.

    Ralph said he has a story about Ben. He said he went to some show that his kids were doing and his mom and dad were there. He said he asked him to do his imitation of his father for him and he said no. He said he felt uncomfortable doing it. He said he eventually did it and he thought Ben was going to hit him over that. Howard said he's sure his father thought Ralph was dopey. He said he did insist that he do that impression for him. Ralph said he set him up for disaster.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to say that he thinks he shouldn't criticize himself so much. He said he has done so much in his life that people just can't do. He said a lot of his friends think he's vulgar but they should have a an award for the most prolific interviewer out there. He said he's just so good. Howard said he should get on that and get them to make that award for him. Howard said when he does win that he wants Will Arnett and Jimmy to come out and do a bit. He said he won't be offended.

    Howard said that guy said the word ''prolifant'' instead of prolific. He said it's kind of a bummer when it comes to someone saying something nice to him.

    Howard read some feedback and read some stuff about Sheryl Lee Ralph. He said people told him not to make fun of her for singing at the Emmys. Howard said you see a lot of stuff like that with people who do theater work. He said they have to show that they're free with their emotions and they are willing to do anything. He said he's not sure if that's a real song. Robin said she thinks it's a real song. She said the song is a Diana Reeves song. She said she's never heard it until now. Howard said he's thinking of covering the song.

    Robin said she learned yesterday that Gary knows that whole Ralph family. Howard wondered if Ralph is related to the Ralph family. Howard said he's not sure what that song means. Robin said that Gary went to school with Sheryl. Howard said she's from Uniondale. Gary said he played football with her brother.

    Howard asked if Sheryl was in his grade. Gary said she was in his brother's grade. He said he thinks she's 4 years older than him.

    Howard said he would have loved to have dated a black woman. He said he tried back then but it didn't happen. He said that times were different.

    Howard asked Gary if he dated any black women back then. Gary said no. He said he liked this girl a lot who was half black and half Japanese. He said her dad wouldn't let boys over. He said he wanted to come over.

  • Gary's Vacation. 09/14/22. 8:20am
    Howard said Natalie Maines texted him over the summer and said she was watching tennis and thinking about the guy who looked like Baba Booey. Howard said it was Carlos someone. Robin said it wasn't Carlos. She said it's an Italian guy who is very interesting. Robin asked if it's the guy who won everything. She said he's Carlos Alvarez. She said he does have big teeth. Howard said the guy had a 12 pack with his shirt off.

    Howard said Natalie is obsessed with Gary. Gary said he's very well aware of that. Howard said Gary went away to Portugal with his wife. He said he gets annoyed with him when he does that stuff. He said he does so much where he's not working and it annoys him. Gary said these are legitimate things. He said if he took 2 weeks off when the show was on he'd have every right to be annoyed.

    Howard played a bit the guys put together about Gary's vacation. They had Gary telling stories about going to the Azores and what the food was like there. He talked a lot about the food in that bit. He talked about drinking too.

    Howard asked Robin if that annoys her like it does him. Robin said not really. Howard said he just thinks about Gary munching his way through Portugal like Pac-Man. He said he's a consumer. He said he knows people get annoyed by this stuff. Howard asked the guys why he's so annoyed. He said he knows people are going to write in about this but he gets annoyed. He said he's not sure why.

    Gary said he thinks everything he does annoys him. He said they've been together too long. Howard asked if he's resigning. Gary said too long for Howard, not for him.

    Jason said that this is about the freedom. He said he's out gallivanting around. Gary said Jason was out over the summer doing that kind of thing too. Howard said Jason is working his ass off in his mind. He said he thinks he should take a day off here and there. He said Gary is out at Pearl Jam shows and stuff. Gary said Jason is doing stuff in his time off too. Howard said he thinks Jason is working hard and Gary should be working harder. He said to him Jason never chills. He said with Gary he feels like he should just do an hour of work to disguise that he's chilling every minute. Jason said it's a perceptual thing. Howard said he feels like Gary's life is mostly vacation and with Jason it's different.

    Howard asked if Gary is working that hard. Jason said he's not in the office every day so he doesn't know. He said he knows he's working from 5am to 5pm but he's not sure what Gary is doing. Gary said he and Mary were watching TV and he got on a phone call for a half hour trying to set up a guest. He said he works. Howard said he has the perception that he's not working hard. He said maybe he should work on changing his perception of what he's doing. He said he's glad he had a nice anniversary. Gary said it was their 30th.

    Fred did the Gary Puppet thing and goofed on him about being called ''macaco'' while he was in Portugal. He said he found out that means monkey down there.

    Gary said he was in Portugal and a woman tried talking to him in Portuguese. He said then in the city he got in an accident and the guy said ''You greasy mother fuckers are all the same...'' He said he wondered what kind of greasy guy he thought he was.

    Howard said he loved the time that Gary was mistaken for a Chilean miner survivor when he was on a show. Howard said the guys went on the street and asked what ethnicity they thought Gary was. He played a clip of a bunch of people guessing what he was.

    Howard said after 9/11 Gary got stopped a lot. Gary said he did get pulled aside at the airport a lot. He said he was asked to change lines. He said that they do look at you a little closer. Howard said he looked suspicious. Howard said they weren't sure what he had done but he did look guilty.

    Howard said they have a lot to get to this morning but they got to none of it. Howard said on Friday they're airing the Pearl Jam concert on Howard 101. He said that's at 5pm. He said next week they have a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert. He said Jon Hamm will be on Monday's show. Robin said she wondered why he wasn't on the show. Howard said he saw him doing this Between Two Ferns movie with Zach Galifianakis and that was really good. Robin said she loves to look at Jon Hamm. She said Howard never watched Mad Men. Howard said he didn't. He said Jon will be there to talk about everything he's up to.

    Howard said Jon is Fletch now. He said that's what he's up to. He said Imagine Dragons will be in next week too. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.


  • More Fan Feedback. 09/14/22. 8:40am
    After the break they played a JD hooting bit, a Vladimir Putin song parody and Incubus ''Wish You Were Here.''

    Howard came back and gave some history about the band Incubus. He sang along with the song a bit too. He said this was the last song written for the album. He gave some history on the song.

    Howard said he wants to finish the fan mail. He read through some feedback about the Emmys talk they had. Howard read more complaints about him making fun of Sheryl Lee Ralph. He asked Robin if she can cover that song. Robin said she doesn't know it very well yet. She said she should be able to do it. Howard said they have to rush her into the studio to get her to do that.

    Howard said people wrote in about the dead comics summer round up. Howard said a lot of the listeners loved hearing from the dead comics. He said some people like them dead better than when they were alive. He read a few notes from fans about that bit.

    Howard read some feedback about the conversation he had with Beth about the EpiPen. He read a note from someone who had a similar reaction to a bee sting that Beth had.

    Howard said he has an update on the EpiPen thing. He said he went up and thanked Beth for coming on the air. He said they went on their walk and Beth didn't bring her EpiPen. He said she told Robin she would. He said she hates the way he says EpiPen. He said it drives her nuts. He said he'll carry it if she won't. He said Beth lied about carrying it.

    Robin asked what he's going to do if she can't breathe after getting stung. Howard said he can't carry the thing if he has no pockets. He said she wears jean shorts. Robin said those pockets aren't that secure. Howard said he sees the have cases for those pens. He said Beth won't do it. He said she wants to look hot. Howard said he wears a giant cap on his head when he walks. He said he's not going to wear anything else to carry an EpiPen.

    Howard read feedback about the James Caan story they told yesterday about him turning down the role in Superman. Howard said he has turned down roles that he's not upset about turning down. He said he turned down a role and the guy who took it did a great job with it. He said he doesn't regret it at all. Howard said he would act again if he felt a role was right for him.

    Howard read some feedback about Nichelle Nichols passing away and the music they played yesterday. Howard played some Leonard Nimoy music that they dug up. He had some Nichelle Nichols stuff they played yesterday too.

    Howard said they played clips of the Wack Pack's horrible summer. Howard read some comments from the fans about that. They had some feedback about the Bigfoot story, Jeff the Drunk and King of All Blacks.

  • Advice For Megan. 09/14/22. 8:55am
    Howard took a call from a woman who said she's going to a Nine Inch Nails thing next week and she gets to interview Trent in a Q and A thing. She said she wants to know what to ask. Howard said he has seen Nine Inch Nails and he wants to know if Trent was doing theatrical stuff or is he really that dark. The caller said she has seen them 20 times and they are still so phenomenal.

    Howard said he would also like to know if Trent would go to strip clubs and tell them they were his girlfriends there or what. He said he was in a club once and all the girls were saying they were his girlfriend.

    The caller asked if he has seen this show called Naked Attraction from England. Howard said he hasn't seen it. The caller said you get to judge the people based on their bodies naked. Howard said he wants to see this. The caller said it's on YouTube. She said the show is called Naked Attraction. Howard asked the caller, Megan, about this show and how it works. She said they get behind a screen and they have a person looking at the naked people and they judge the people. She said a guy would pick the women out based on their legs and vagina. Howard said that sounds good to him. Robin said she has seen this and the person gets naked for the person they pick. Howard said he'd watch that.

    Howard asked where they stop after the vagina. Megan said she thinks they move to the breasts next.

    Megan asked for more questions for Trent but Howard had nothing and said he's heard enough from her.

  • Cracker Barrel Sausage Controversy. 09/14/22. 9:00am
    Howard said he wants to bring up something that's driving him nuts. He said people think he's an elitist but he's not. He said he came from nothing. He said he just sees it the way he sees it. He said this is a whole thing going on with Cracker Barrel. He said this is what he's hearing about. He said Cracker Barrel came up with a vegan option on the menu and people who go there are freaking out. He said we have to do this eventually and they didn't take away the regular sausage option. He said that they're trying to go with the times. He said they didn't take away your option if you want to eat real sausage.

    Howard said what people are doing is freaking out on social media. He read some of the comments that they're getting there. Howard read the comments in a southern accent. Howard said people think that they're just being ''woke'' and they're not going to go there anymore.

    Howard asked how dumb these people are. He said they think that one thing is going to change everything and they're being ruined by the liberals. He said this radio guy was talking about it and now it's a political hot point. Howard played a clip from this radio show where this guy was talking about how this option is not there from customer demand.

    Howard said there wasn't a demand for black people to be able to sit in restaurants but we saw that it was the right thing to do and that's what we have now.

    Howard played more of the radio show clip and said he's not sure what this is all about. He asked if this is a celebration of being a moron. Robin said it seems like everyone is upset. She said that Jimmy Kimmel lays on the floor and there's an uproar. Howard said there are over 11,000 comments on the Cracker Barrel post. He said it's crazy that people are upset about a meatless sausage. He said how about just praising them for giving you more options. He said there are 11,000 people out there who have time to comment on this stuff.

    Howard said Wendy the Slow Adult stayed in a Cracker Barrel parking lot when they were homeless. He had some audio of Wendy talking to Wolfie about the fake meat thing there at Cracker Barrel. Wendy was coughing a lot and saying that she would throw that meat to the dog. She said she's never eating at Cracker Barrel again. Robin said that sounds like a person who needs a healthy option.

    Howard said this is all so weird to him. He said everyone is so proud of being an idiot. He said this is all after Trump. He said the stupider the comment the more proud they are. He said they're so proud of being a moron. Robin said it's outrage over a vegan sausage. Howard said how about try it and see how it is.

    Howard said he likes how Wendy eats out of a dumpster but she won't eat fake meat. Howard said every news report was the same on every channel. He said that they all made a ''Where's the beef'' joke. He played a compilation of those clips. Robin said just listen to the news to hear why we're so stupid. She asked if we really need to be concerned with this. Howard said it's a very strange world they're living in. He said it's so silly.

    Howard took a call from a woman who said that she would totally eat this because she's a vegan and they never have options like this. Howard said he'd be curious to try it. Robin said it's like Jon Hein not being able to eat anything but fast food. She said he won't enjoy himself if he's not eating fast food.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said after the Queen died there were some liberals critiquing the British empire and the conservative hosts were going crazy over it. Howard said he thinks if there are 20 people complaining about something they pick it up on the news and make a story out of it. Robins said the news keeps things stirred up. Howard said when he's president he'll ban the news. He said he thinks Trump tried to do that.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said that Cracker Barrel is horrible and the food is just trash. He said support the local places. Howard said he went there a couple of times when he was younger. Robin said she only knows the sign. Howard said he thinks they had peanuts all over the floor.

    Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's very upset about Beth and the EpiPen thing. She said she really has to be careful. Howard let her go a short time later. He had to correct her on the way she was saying Dr. Agus before he let her go.

    Howard said they really do have to get on that. He said Beth thinks she can make it home to get the pen before the sting gets to her.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a truck driver and when COVID first hit they had the option to go home or keep driving. He said he kept driving and he was skeptical about getting a shot. He said he listened to the show and he got fully vaccinated and he ended up getting COVID last week. He said he was admitted to the hospital. He said if he hadn't gotten vaccinated he wouldn't be here right now. Howard said of course. He said this vaccine is helping and this administration is doing a good job at getting it out there. He said god bless America. He said that we're lucky that we have these vaccines. Robin said China is still having rolling lockdowns because they can't get rid of this thing. Howard said we have an epidemic of morons in this country. He said everyone knows the virus is still out there and they're not doing anything to stop it.

    Howard said he has a moron in his life who says the most moronic things to him. He said this guy has no idea how moronic he is. He said you realize the person is a lost cause. He said you have a guy like Hershel Walker who has some issue and he's trying to be a senator. He said we're doomed. He said it used to be a thing of pride to run for office. He said now it's embarrassing.

  • Long Standing Ovations. 09/14/22. 9:20am
    Howard said there's another weird thing going on. He said they have these film festivals and they hype up these movies. He said this guy Brendan Fraser was a big movie star. He said there's this weird trend going on where they give insanely long standing ovations for movies. He said Brendan has this movie called The Whale out and they're going around showing it and he got a 6 minute standing ovation in Venice. He said he wanted to leave the place and he wasn't able to because the applause was going on. He said there's another movie that got a 12 minute standing ovation. He said that they started clapping during the last scene of the movie and they didn't stop for 12 minutes.

    Howard played a clip of the ovation that Brendan got after The Whale. Howard said he has some of the standing ovation that this other movie got for 12 minutes. Howard said he's not sure what's going on.

    Howard said he saw a nice article in Variety Magazine about his father. He said a fan wrote that. He still had the standing ovation for this Lee Manecita movie going. He said this goes on for 12 minutes.

    Howard said he saw the Rolling Stones and he may have applauded a little bit but that was it. He said he didn't stand there for 12 minutes. Howard said he didn't do this even after he got laid the first time. He said they're at 9 minutes and 40 seconds. He said they're knee deep in this.

    Howard said the new Marilyn Monroe movie got a 14 minute standing ovation in Venice. He said what's happening is getting the opposite of what they want because there's no way he would go see this movie if he gets caught up in the applause. He said it sounds like torture. He said it's like torture trying to clap for more than 30 seconds. He said imagine doing that for 14 minutes.

    Howard said he saw that they were complaining about Ana de Armas not being American but then they gave her a 14 minute standing ovation.

    Howard took a call from a guy who gave him a standing ovation for his show today. He said he's been clapping since the show started this morning. Howard thanked him for the call. the guy said he just shit his pants. He said he's going to keep going though.

    Howard said the whole world is nuts. He said there's something going on out there. He said people are getting stupider. He said he can see it and smell it. Howard said he has a game to play after taking a break. He said it's called ''Will Swap Shop Sell It.'' He said this is the greatest game ever played.


  • Analyzing Music. 09/14/22. 9:35am
    After the break they played a Morgan Freeman ''Go fuck yourself'' tip and Faces' ''Maybe I'm Amazed.''

    Howard came back and said he loves when Rod Stewart starts to sing in this song. He said it's so good.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a long time listener and they're the only good thing he listens to on radio. Howard said now he's talking. He said he wants to come visit him in Michigan. He said he has to get directions to his house.

    Howard took another call from a guy who said he had a band that released a record and did pretty well. He said they recorded a song that they think is good and people think they're too old to be playing rock. Howard said he'll listen to it. The guy said they're called the 450s and the album is Flowers For Columbine. The guys found the song and played it for Howard. Howard said he's had enough of it. He said the song wasn't doing it for him but they're good musicians. The caller told Howard about another song they have and the guys played that for him too. Howard said he's ready to walk away. He said he's not feeling it but he might listen to it off the air to see if he can get into it. He said it's not a song that he's getting right into. The caller, Bob, said that Jack Douglas loved it. Howard said go talk to him then.

    Howard said he will listen to it off the air and give him a real opinion. He said he's not dancing to it right away. Bob said no one seems to get it other than Jack. He said they got some good reviews though. Howard said he just has to spend some time with it.

    Howard let Bob go. He said he has to analyze the music. He said he doesn't like the name of the band. He said that's okay though.

    Howard said its never a good sign when no one gets the music. He said he's not going to listen to it for 13 seconds and say he doesn't like it.

  • ''Will Swap Shop Sell It'' Game. 09/14/22. 9:45am
    Howard said he has little game to play to end the show. He said this is Will Swap Shop Sell It. He said he has some music to play for the game. Fred played some generic stuff.

    Howard did an intro for his contestant Robin who was there to play. Robin pretended to be a contestant and she introduced herself. Howard played the host of the game show.

    Howard said Swap Shop is a show where they let you buy, sell and trade things over the radio. Robin said this is one thing that survives radio.

    Howard said they have pranked Swap Shop over the years. He said they try to sell some crazy things. He said they have sold many strange things over the years. He said sometimes they hang up right away. He said they asked themselves what they would allow so they called with some strange things over a few weeks. Howard said the first thing they tired to sell was Mary Lincoln's pubic hair that was shaved off due to crabs. He asked Robin if she thinks they let that on. Robin said she thinks if they think it's authentic then maybe. Robin said she's going to say no. Howard played a clip where Richard called in and said he has that Mary Todd Lincoln hair to sell. The host went along with the call as Richard explained the public hair story. The host let it get through. Howard said Robin was wrong with that one. Robin said she's opposed to being judged by this one. She said he didn't mention the pubic hair thing right away. She said he saved it until the end.

    Howard said Robin is a sore loser. He said one of the reasons Abe had to shave his moustache is because he got crabs in there.

    Howard asked if they will sell Betty White's Pap smear. Robin said no way. Howard played the clip where Sal called in with the Pap smear offer. The host said that he's a jolly joker huh. He said call back after the show and he'll talk to him about that after. He said people like that should get a life. Howard said they can't get a life because they work for him.

    Howard said Robin is on the board with 1 yes and 1 no. He asked if they will sell a stick to beat your children with called a Quiet Time stick. Robin said that's a good one. She said that she thinks they will say yes. Howard played the clip where Sal called in with the Quiet Time Stick offer. The host let him sell that. Howard said Robin got a second win there. Howard said listen to the commercial that comes on after that. He played the clip and it was a commercial to prevent child abuse. Robin said that's amazing.

    Howard said Robin has 2 right so far. Robin said she's getting the hang of this. Howard asked if they would sell Elvis' toilet water and feces from the toilet he died on. Robin said no. Howard said he's locking her in on that. He played the call where Sal called in trying to sell this water that his father got as an EMS worker who was there the day he died. He told the host what he had to sell and the host hung up on him and said he's a useless human being.

    Howard said Robin got another one right. He said he doesn't like that guy calling one of his guys a useless human being but he's right.

    Howard asked if they would sell Johnny Depp's shit stained sheets. Robin said they will say yes to that one. Howard played the call and Sal called in with the sheets offer. The host let him get his number out so that counts as a yes. Howard said Robing got that one right even though it sounded like it was going to go the other way.

    Howard asked Robin if she thinks they will let them sell serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer's crock pot that may have a testicle in it. Robin said this one is hard. She said that she's going to say yes. Howard played the clip and Sal called in with that one too. The host cut him off and hung up before he finished. He went to break after hanging up on Sal.

    Howard said it gets harder as it goes along. Robin missed that one but she has a few right. Howard asked if Robin thinks they will sell a bed sheet containing an imprint of Tammy Faye Bakker's makeup from getting banged doggy style in bed. Robin said this is so stupid that they will say no. Howard played the clip and Richard called in with that one. He explained the sheets thing and the host was talking about an experience he had with the Bakkers so Robin wanted to change her answer. Howard continued the clip and Richard explained the sheets and the host went along with it and told another Tammy Faye story. He let Richard get in the phone number so that was a yes.

    Howard said that was good Robin changed her vote. He said that they didn't let Richard and Sal sell chickens but you can sell sheets like that.

    Howard said this one is going to be hard. He asked if they will sell an aborted fetus in a jar. Robin said this is a tough one. She said she could go either way on this one. She said that they're involved with religion and a fundamental kind. She said they may think that's what they need for their next protest so she's saying yes. Howard played the clip and one of the guys called in with the fetus thing and said he wants $200 for that. The host said they're not going to do that.

    Howard said he doesn't know about that. He said it's hard to predict some of these things. He said selling an aborted fetus is the wrong thing to do. He said on this show they were considered controversial when they had Fred using aborted fetuses as puppets.

    Howard said this last one is hard. He asked if they will sell Kim Kardashian's menstrual pad. Robin said no way. Howard played the clip and they had a woman call in with that offer. The host of the show cut her off in the middle of that one and hung up. They went right into a commercial. Howard asked if Robin got that one right. Robin said she is going out on a win.

    Howard said Robin has won that pad since she won the game. He wrapped up the game and had Fred play him off.

    Howard said that was exciting. He said how about that for a game. He asked people not to steal that game to produce it. He said they're going to be working on that themselves.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said this is Michael the gay fire fighter. He gave him condolences for his father's passing. He said he thinks about his father when he hears the word vigorous. Howard said he's not sure why. Michael said that he had a conversation on the air years ago about that and it reminds him of it.

    Michael told Howard that he was a fire fighter on 9/11 and he remembers hearing the fear in Howard's voice back then so he jumped into action that day after hearing that fear. He said he was lucky to be where he was that morning and that changed the trajectory of his life that morning.

    Howard said he may have helped a lot of people that day by doing that. He said everyone who helped that day are heroes. He said that he thinks most people would agree with that. He sang to Michael about that before letting him go. He wrapped up and ended the show around 10:15am.

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