- Vacation Replay Show - Day 3. 05/27/20. 7:00am
Howard is on vacation this week so they're replaying segments from past shows. Here's what they played today:
- Bobo In New York - June 17, 2019. 05/27/20. 7:00am
First on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked to Bobo. Here's my rundown from that day:
Bobo's Scalp Update. 06/17/19. 7:00am
Howard started the show talking about how he really doesn't want to be there today. He said he's not in the mood. He said he'll do the show but he's doing it under protest. He ask if Robin wants to be there. Robin said she always wants to see him. Howard said he's happy to see her but he doesn't want to do the show.
Howard said Fred's puppetry is pretty remarkable. He said the puppets are such a big hit that they're going to build him a theater in the studio. He said that way he can have a full production going on. He said he'll build it around Fred. He said he'll have a green screen so they can have him climbing mountains or driving a car. He said they're looking into that. He said they can have JD in there flying to the moon or something. He said they can have JD in bed with his dirty sheets and things like that. He said they're also going to have new puppets for Fred to work. Fred said he loves doing it.
Howard said he had no idea he would be able to do this when he met him in Hartford. He said he's a big hit. He said they can't do a better show than they did last Wednesday. He said people loved the Benjy hand job thing last week. He said they can't beat that. He said they had Sal's Father's Day as a big hit too. Robin asked if they're going to get an update. Howard said of course.
Howard said he got a picture of Sal's dad hugging one of his newly found daughters. He said he felt bad for Sal. He said it's a drag. He said they had this big revelation from Sal about his father having kids outside the marriage with his mother. He said Sal's sister went out and found more siblings nearby. Robin said he has numbers of children there in the states. Howard said they got together with the new sisters over the weekend. Robin said one of the sisters is close in age to Sal's sister so he knocked her up around the same time his mother was pregnant.
Howard said he sees that Bobo is on the phone. He said he figured he was all flustered from that whole thing about his toupee. He took Bobo's call and Bobo said he's in New York. Howard said he hasn't heard from him in a couple of days. Bobo said he made the drive up there. He said he did the road trip. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Bobo calling it a ''Woawd twip.''
Howard asked Bobo how his lesions are. Bobo said they're doing okay. He said he's tanning his head. Robin asked why he would do that with the lesions on there. Howard explained how Bobo got the lesions because of his hair system. Bobo said it's too much humidity down there. Robin said it's too much maintenance. She said the glue is still up there. Bobo said now it's all gone.
Howard asked how you get the glue off of the thing. Bobo said he would take it off and put the bonding tape back on. Robin asked if he went to a place to do that. Bobo said he did it a lot by himself but sometimes he'd go to a place. He said he had three systems that he rotated. He said they were all different. He said it's a whole process.
Howard said now he's bald. Bobo said he shaved his head completely. He said no more bozo look. Sal said he still has that look for sure.
Howard said he was wondering why he wasn't calling in. Bobo said he's in Jericho, New York now. He said he landed there. Howard said he just said he drove. Bobo said that's what he meant. Howard asked if he was trying to be cool. Bobo said this was the first time he drove in years. He said that was some drive. He said he didn't like Atlanta. He said the area was dangerous. He said there were bums laying all over the streets. Sal said they were probably afraid of him. They played a song parody about Bobo.
Howard said Ronnie has a question for him. Ronnie came in and asked how Bobo was able to drive when he hates bridges and tunnels. Bobo said he's fine in a car but not when he's up high in the trucks. He said when he's lower he can't see over the edge like he did when he was in a truck. Howard said he's not sure what he's saying. Bobo said that he had a lot more in the mirrors when he was driving a truck. Ronnie said he doesn't get how he was a driving instructor.
Ronnie asked if it's true that he can't call the show when he's on vacation. Bobo said he's in his car now. Gary said that Shuli said everything that Bobo is saying is a lie.
Shuli came in and said that the last vacation Bobo went on he was almost in tears because he couldn't call in. He said he wasn't allowed to. Bobo said he doesn't remember that. Shuli said that's because he wasn't able to call into the show. Bobo said he wasn't miserable with his family. He said he was miserable because he missed the show. Shuli said he sounded like he was going to jump off a building. He said he'll find the audio.
Shuli said that he claims he goes out in the car because he gets better reception out there. Bobo said the reception is horrible down there. Shuli also said he told him that he hates tunnels. Bobo said he never said that. He said he doesn't like bridges. Shuli said Bobo got the million miles because he drove around bridges and tunnels.
Shuli said Bobo told him about how he lowers the seat in the truck and then he wears sunglasses so he won't see the sides of the bridges. He said he's driving a truck and trying to block his vision. Bobo said he hated bridges and he would go through the tunnels instead of going over the bridges. He sniffed after that so Fred and Howard were making the sniffing sounds.
Howard took a call from a Dr. Matt who said that he wants to talk about Bobo. Matt said he does a ton of skin stuff. He asked Bobo how long those things have been on his head. Bobo said he'd say about 3 months. Matt said those are more than likely benign lesions and they're not from the hair piece. He said that they're not from that. He said they're common from older age. He said they're like liver spots but raised. Bobo said the doctor told him his head would breathe better if he had the hair piece off and he may not have them. Matt said that he would say it probably doesn't have to do with the hair system. Howard tanked Matt for the call.
Shuli said Bobo's first wife argued with him about the show and she flushed some of his shrine down the toilet. Bobo said she did rip stuff up. He said he doesn't want to go down that road. He said she passed away on Howard's birthday actually. Howard said what a present. Bobo said she did die. Howard said she was married to Bobo and she got sick of him. Bobo said that happened years back. He said he was married for 23 years.
Howard asked why he divorced her. Bobo said he doesn't want to get into it. Shuli said he likes how Howard thinks he divorced her. Howard said it was probably the other way around. Bobo said they were good friends after. He said she knew he was obsessed with the show and that had a lot to do with it. Howard asked if she told him to stop with the show or she's leaving. Boob said that had a lot to do with it. Shuli said he had to go to therapy. Bobo said that he wasn't going to stop with the show. He said that wasn't even in the equation.
Howard asked if she knew he cheated on her with the vacuum. Bobo said that was a long time ago. He said it was in the 20s. Howard said it was in the 1920s.
Howard asked if there was a settlement. Bobo said there was. Shuli asked what the most prized possession was that she ruined. Bobo said he had a lot of stuff. He said that she didn't get his Howard Stern watch. He said she got pictures and stuff. Howard asked if she tried to turn the kids against him. Bobo said she wasn't like that. Robin asked if he can mention the show when he's at family gatherings. Howard said it's funny that both wives have had it with him. He said he's a very loyal fan. He said he got divorced over the show. He said he's like Mariann. Bobo said Mariann is off the roof. He said she's top of the food chain.
Howard said Mariann did book promotion for him. He said she really is up there. Shuli asked if Bobo read Howard's book (Howard Stern Comes Again). Bobo said he liked the Billy Joel interview. He said he liked when he talked about his hair and going bald. Howard said he was talking right to him.
Howard told Bobo he should do the hair on the face thing. Bobo said he does that. Howard asked if he dyes it. Bobo said that would look ''re-dick-lis.'' The guys goofed on him about that.
Shuli said Bobo is so miserable when he gets called into work. He said when he can't listen he gets really upset. Bobo said he can't take it when he has to work when Howard is live. Shuli said Bobo has a strict schedule of not working Monday to Wednesday but then he gets called in.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn and said that she's got Bobo close to her in the running for the biggest fan. Mariann said that Bobo has to call her asking what is happening on the show. She said she has to explain things to him about the show. She said he's clueless. Howard asked what she means. Mariann said he'll call her and completely misunderstand what was going on with the show. Mariann started to go nuts so Howard said she's the number one fan. He hung up on her.
Bobo said the 2012 thing proves that he loves the show. He said he left his family to do the show.
Shuli said that he would call Bobo weekly to ask him questions about the show. He said he wouldn't get the questions all right. He said he would get 4 out of 10 right. He said it seems like he's not listening to the show. Ronnie asked what shopping center he's in. Bobo said it's a small shopping center with a Starbucks in it. Ronnie was trying to figure out where he is so he could send the fans there. Sal asked if it's on 106. Bobo said it's in that area. Ronnie asked if it's near the Miller Ridge Inn. Bobo laughed. Ronnie said that's where he is. Bobo said he's able to listen there and relax. Howard said he must want to get out of the car at some point. Ronnie asked if he runs his car for that much time. Bobo said he does. He said he has the air on. Howard asked if he can't sit in the house for 4 hours. Bobo said he can't do it. He said his family is sleeping. He said he talks loud. Howard asked if they will hear him in the whole house. Bobo said his voice carries.
Shuli said he has to be honest. Bobo said he is. Howard said something is up. He said he should be able to go down in the basement. Ronnie said his wife threw him out. Howard said he should have a stupid room to go into. Bobo said when he was in New York he was downstairs. Howard said just sit in the car and not drive off. Bobo said his kid will see him. He said this way he's away. Howard said that way he won't see his kid. Bobo said he sees his son in the morning. Ronnie said he has a light on his car that says ''On Air.''
Howard said this is show time and he can key in on what he wants to talk about. Bobo said he might have to take care of a problem if someone sees him in the car. Ronnie asked what kind of car he drives. Bobo said it's a Toyota RAV 4, black. Ronnie said that's who you look for at the Starbucks over on 106.
Shuli asked if he's in town until the end of the month. Bobo said he is. Shuli asked him to get his wife on the show. Bobo said she's not going to do that. He said she doesn't hate the show but she's private. Howard asked if she hates the show enough that he has to leave the house. Bobo said she thinks he's obsessed. He said she knows it's what he likes to do. He said that's why he had the entire basement built up in New York.
Howard took a call from Bobo's dead ex-wife from Heaven. She spoke like Bobo with the Elmer Fudd sounding voice. She sniffed just like Bobo too. She told Howard about what it was like to live with Bobo. She said she had to leave him. She said Bobo made her scream out that she was Howard Stern so he could cum when they had sex. She said he had her make her hair curly like Howard's too. She told Howard that Bobo is going to get more lesions all over his body like a Chernobyl victim. She said she threw out Bobo's Howard stuff because he was looking at it all day. Shuli said he likes how she sniffs like Bobo. She said she caught it from him and it followed her to the grave. Howard thanked her for calling in. She told Bobo to eat shit. Bobo said something to her and she said it sounds like he speaks in Howard tongues.
Howard let her go and said she really doesn't like Bobo. Ronnie asked if he drove the speed limit on his way up. Bobo said he was going 65-70. He said they would slow down when there were speed traps. Ronnie said he wasn't allowed to listen to the show on the trip. Bobo said they had to drive so he didn't listen. Robin said he can listen and drive. Bobo said they had conversation. Robin said he was such a liar. Bobo said that was family time. He said he didn't have the radio on. He said they talked about what they were going to do there in New York.
Howard asked what he eats in the car. Bobo said he has an egg sandwich or something. Howard said he has the coffee going and all of that. Bobo said he doesn't even eat when the show is going on. He said he waits until the breaks.
Shuli asked Bobo about where he goes when he's on the road to formulate the questions for the show. Bobo said he goes back to the docks where he used to go. He said he didn't get a chance to write things down. Howard said he hasn't asked a question yet. Bobo said he told Mark that he has his life's regrets. Howard asked how that's a question. Bobo said that's just some thoughts he had.
Ronnie said he has to hear them. Howard said he thinks he might hang up. He asked Bobo if he went down to come up with questions and he came up with regrets instead. Howard said he only has one regret. Robin said that's taking Bobo's calls. Howard said she read his mind.
Howard said before they get to the regrets he wants to take some calls. He took one from a guy who said he's in a better mood after hearing Bobo on the show. He said he feels better about his life.
Howard took another call from a guy who said they need a Bobo puppet. Howard said that is in the works. He said it will have a removable toupee. He said the guy is working on it now. The caller said that Ronnie needs a driving lesson from Bobo too. Howard said they need some time to finish up that puppet. He said they had to add the lesions.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he used to be a fan of Bobo but after hearing this and the Trump stuff he can't stand the guy. He said his new name should be Bobo the Slow Adult. Howard said that's interesting. He said they have Wendy the Slow Adult already. He said if they married they'd be the Slows. Howard said how about Slowbo. Ronnie said he likes that.
Howard asked Bobo what his regrets are. Bobo said he should have been a better swimmer after he almost drown while surfing in Long Beach. Howard asked what happened there. Bobo said he was doing fine and then the board came out from under him and hit him in the head. He said he was semi conscious. He said his friends had to pull him out. He said he never went back in the water.
Howard asked what his second regret is. Bobo said he never took more guitar lessons after the kids were born. He said he had to be quiet with the kids.
Howard asked what the third is. Bobo said back in the 80s he should have gotten a hair transplant instead of the hair system. Robin said what an empty life. Howard and Fred goofed on Bobo about all of that. Howard said he has a feeling Bobo was never good at playing guitar. He said he'd like to hear the recordings of those. Bobo said he never had those.
Howard said how about regretting showing up at the hospital when his daughter was born. Bobo said he didn't want to get into that. Howard said he has to go so they can get to Sal's big story. Bobo said he'll see him soon up at the studio.
Shuli asked if he's going to go home or just sit there listening. Bobo said he's got nothing in the house so he'll be there listening. Howard said what a man. He said the man of the house is home. He said it sounds like a superb vacation. He did an impression of Bobo talking about just sitting in the car. Ronnie asked how long it took him to get to New York. Bobo said it took 15-16 hours or so. He said they stopped in Virginia. Howard asked if they stayed in a hotel. Bobo said they did. He said the family bonded. He said they went to some nice places in Atlanta too.
Shuli asked what happened to the game that he created with the book. Bobo said he has it. Shuli said he should play it. Howard didn't want to do it but then Howard said just do it. Bobo asked a question that Howard knew because he wrote the book. Bobo asked another question and everyone knew the answers. Howard said he has to go. He told Bobo to take care.
Howard said at least they got that taken care of. He said he's going to take a break and get to Sal's Father's Day story. Robin said they have to hear about all of that. Howard went to break after that.
- Tina Fey - March 1, 2016. 05/27/20. 7:55am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a Tina Fey interview from 2016. Here's my rundown from that day:
Tina Fey Visits. 03/01/16. 8:55am
After the break they played a prank call the guys made to a record store using clips of Howard talking about how much he dislikes vinyl records. They also played a ''Robin Quivers Ice Coffee'' commercial parody. They played an Eric the Actor song parody and Sheryl Crow's cover of Fleetwood Mac's ''Gold Dust Woman'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that Tina Fey is there and she's in a new movie called ''Whisky Tango Foxtrot.'' Howard said she was out at the Oscars. He said she must have just flown in. Tina said she did. Howard said she's got kids and she's so busy. Howard said they must be slowing her down. Tina said they do slow her down. She said they bother you all the time. Tina said that she was trying to put them to bed and one of her kids said she had too much luxury this weekend. Howard said when you make a movie they do treat you like a queen. Howard said you must feel important. He said they pamper you. Tina said they open the door for you all the time. She said they do that for you in prison too though.
Howard said Jim Carrey got a divorce years ago and his wife would ask him to take out the garbage. He said he would be like ''I'm Jim Carrey and you're asking me to take out the garbage?'' Howard said that you get that sense of entitlement.
Howard said he was thinking about how glamorous Tina has become. Howard said she worked at Saturday Night Live as a writer and she was about 30 pounds overweight so she lost the weight so she could get on camera. Howard said it was a conscious decision. Tina said she had been on stage in Chicago and it's a different esthetic there. She said she came to New York and wanted to buy some clothes but nothing fit. She said no one ever said to her that she had to lose weight. Howard said Lorne did put her on as soon as she lost it. Tina said there was an opening at the time. She said that was Weekend Update. Howard said people who say appearance doesn't matter are full of shit. Tina said yeah but you just have to look like you're not going to die. Howard asked if she's afraid that she's going to turn into that overweight girl again. Tina said no. She said enough time has gone by. Howard asked if she would ever do Botox. Tina said she doesn't think so. She said you can't say never. Tina said if she didn't have kids she might have done some lipo.
Howard asked if Tina about the new movie and said she's making the point that if you go to Afghanistan as a New York 6 you're a 9 over there. Howard said she points out to Margot Robbie that she's a 15 over there. Howard said that this story is the complete opposite of his life. Howard said if you're stuck in a job you don't like then pack your bags and go to do the most dangerous job you can find. Tina said she's not sure she could ever do that. She said it's based on a book and it's a true story. Tina said that she went on a trip she thought was going to be 3 months and it ended up being 3 years. She said she partied hard over there. Tina said the army calls it a 4-10-4 which means you're a 4 at home and a 10 when you go away and then a 4 when you go back.
Howard said it's true what Tina says about Afghanistan being the forgotten story. Howard said Tina read this book and made it into a movie. Howard asked if she ran to Lorne about it. Tina said she did. She said he has a deal with Paramount. Howard asked why she has to do that because she did Sisters on her own. Tina said that he was helpful during that process. She said that she asks why people need Judd Apatow all the time and now she realizes she has to call Lorne. Howard asked if things happen faster with him. Tina said she learns a lot from him. She said that you can learn a lot from him.
Howard asked who is Lorne's favorite. Howard said Tina has done a lot with Lorne. Howard said she did Mean Girls with him. Howard said she turned down Mean Girls 2. Tina said she did and she saw some of it and it wasn't very good. She said that they asked her for years if she wanted to do another one and she kept saying no. Tina said she's not sure why she didn't do it. Howard said Mean Girls was a great movie and it said something. He said maybe they shouldn't do a sequel. Howard asked if she was upset that they went ahead and did it. She said she wasn't that upset. Howard said it proved she was right for not doing it. He said she knows more than they do. Tina said if she knew Tim Meadows was doing it she would have tried to give him more jokes.
Howard asked if she's working on a Mean Girls musical. She said she is. She said her husband is working on the music. Howard said he would go see that. Howard asked if there is a lot of competition between her and her husband. Tina said she doesn't think so. Howard said he thinks it must be hard for the husband to have sex with a comedian. Howard said that she must find jokes in that. Tina said it's been 20 years now so there's not.
Howard asked how long they worked on this movie. Tina said it was like 3 months. She said that they did it in New Mexico. Howard said they had Billy Bob as the general. Howard asked who picked him. Tina said he's really good in the part and someone else chose him.
Howard asked Tina about hanging out with Bruce Springsteen at the after party for SNL's 40th. Tina said she would never do that when she worked there but she was asked to sing with them that night at the after party. Tina said they kept asking her to sing up there into his mic and she was trying not to make noise as she did. She said they all made fun of them for doing that. Tina said the audience doesn't want to see her up there. Howard said Paul McCartney was up there too and he had no idea what to do either.
Howard asked Tina about doing her Sarah Palin impression on Saturday Night Live a couple of times lately. Tina said that she feels like she's more jacked up lately and maybe drinking Red Bull or something. She said that she talked for 20 minutes when she was endorsing Trump. She said that she talked too long and you could tell from watching Trump that day.
Howard said Tina isn't saying who she's endorsing. Tina said she actually said that she gives her endorsement to Baba Booey. Howard said he heard about that.
Howard said he feels like this movie is a change for her. He said it's not really a comedy. Tina said it's more of a Dramedy. Howard said Martin Freeman plays her boyfriend in the movie. Howard said that they have a sex scene in the movie. Tina said the guy who wrote the movie ran 30 Rock with her. She said he knows that she'll never do a serious sex scene. Tina said he knew that it had to be a joke.
Howard asked Tina about picking a male writer to work with. Tina said that he's like a little kid. Howard said he must be uncomfortable because he must have feelings for her. Tina said not at all.
Howard said in the movie there's a scene where an official has a crush on her and Tina blackmails him to get rid of him. Howard asked if she's had that happen in her real life at all. Tina said no. She said she's never had that.
Howard asked Tina about Colin Quinn calling her a cunt years ago. Tina said that he did but it was many years ago. She said she saw him at a screening for the film and it was fine. She said it's all good now. She said it was good to talk about it. Howard asked if she can get past that. Tina said she can.
Howard said Tina thought she was the crusading girl in high school but she realized she was the mean girl or the cunt in school. Tina said she was mean about people and you realize that those things could be hurtful to people.
Howard said Tina was at the Oscars and he saw her on the red carpet. Howard said she wore a purple Versace dress. Howard said that they didn't ask her what she was wearing this year. Howard asked why they don't do that. Tina said it is obnoxious. Howard said that Michael Strahan pulled out his cell phone and took a selfie with Tina without asking. Tina said it's fine. Howard said she looked pained. Tina said his camera wasn't working. That's why she looked pained. She said that she didn't mind taking it. Tina said she loves taking a selfie with super tall people. She said that she's 5'4'' herself and her husband is only 5'2'' tall. Howard said he didn't know that. Howard asked if she dated tall guys. Tina said no. Howard said they'd look weird together if they dated. Tina said she likes travel size.
Howard asked Tina if there was too much attention paid to the fact that there were no black nominees. Howard said there were no Asian nominees either. Tina said she thought Chris Rock's monologue was fantastic. She said the pre-taped bits were great too. She said they didn't get a dress rehearsal so if you want to complain it's like going to Cheesecake Factory and getting spaghetti and then complaining that you got too much. She said people wanted Chris to do that and that's what he did. Howard said he can't imagine the pressure of doing the Oscars. He said that there's so much that goes into that.
Howard asked if she owns this new movie. Tina said that she produced it with Lorne. She said that Lorne knows about how to produce stuff like this. She said he really does know how to get people on board. Howard asked if she handles all of the creativity stuff. Tina said they both do that.
Howard said he thinks that she's trying to tell people to take risks in their lives. Tina said that's right. Howard said Tina became a comedian. Howard said that's risky. Tina said it is in a fake kind of risky way. She said Kim risked her life for real. She said that she was doing work over there and guys would pinch her ass and she'd turn around and punch them in the face. Howard said that must happen a lot over there. Tina said it does.
Howard said there's a scene where Tina is firing an AK-47 and she looks like she was having fun doing it. Tina said she was firing blanks and she didn't care at all. Howard asked if she has fired a real gun in her life. She said no. Howard asked if she thought it was a real charge and that she'd like to do it. Tina said she thinks that's a dude thing. She said she was super careful with the gun. She said that she didn't want to Brandon Lee it. She said that's not how you want to go out.
Howard asked if she went to an Oscar after party. Tina said she went to one. Tina said she thought about how this was some real Hollywood bullshit. She said people were telling her what to do and yelling about a bunch of things like corporate greed. Howard asked what she thought about Leo getting up and talking about global warming. Tina said that it's great when someone can get up there and speak fluently about it because for the most part actors are dumb. She said that she thinks it was fine. Howard said he'd the one fucking chicks on a yacht and then yelling about the environment. Howard asked if they should make a musical about that party boat.
Howard said Tina was at the Academy Awards and she gets called up to do an introduction on stage. Howard asked what that's like for her. Tina explained what it's like and how she feels. Howard said that when you're out in L.A. everything is so show business oriented. Howard asked if she finds when she's about to present that people try to get into her inner circle. Tina said no.
Howard asked Tina how she knows which party to go to. Tina said she went to the Vanity Fair party and she thought she might know someone there. She said she actually did. Howard asked if you want to go where the stars are so you're with people you know. Tina said she went this year because she had another dress she was supposed to wear and she wanted to wear it and get a picture of it. Howard asked if it helps with the movie promotion too. She said it does. She said you have to wear the dress too because someone gives it to you to wear.
Howard asked Tina if she travels with people to help her out with all of that. Tina said she husband was there and he just wanted to get out of there. She said that's why she loves him. Howard asked if she ever tells the husband that he has to suck it up and just be there.
Howard asked who she ran into there. Tina said she saw Caitlyn Jenner. She said that she wanted to talk to her but she didn't see her. She said she looks fantastic. Howard said Bruce Jenner was a big guy. Tina said she doesn't even know who that is anymore. Howard said that Bruce became a she and it fascinates us. Howard asked if she would put Caitlyn into one of her projects. Tina said they'll have to see. She said her show didn't do very well.
Howard asked if she's working with David Spade. She said he's doing a pilot she's producing. She said he always has a gorgeous 20 year old girl on his arm. Howard said he's getting older but the girls are staying young. Tina said if it was the other way around it would be a nightmare. Howard said that would be true. He said she wouldn't be Tina Fey anymore if she was dating a 20 year old guy.
Howard asked who she did talk to at the party. Tina said she spent like a minute talking to Selena Gomez. She said that they had a photo booth there and they had Mark Seliger taking photos there. Howard asked if she did it. Tina said she didn't. Howard said you have no control over those photos.
Howard asked Tina about having kids and how she has to open her door to other moms who are excited about coming to her house. Tina said in New York everyone is a big shot of some sort. She said it's not as prized a commodity as it is in L.A. She said that she can become friends with these other moms. Howard said it has to be hard. He said it's a confusing thing as a parent because you don't want to make it about you. He said the kids must know that too. Tina said they're still kind of young for that.
Howard asked if Tina has seen Tracy Morgan lately. Tina said she saw him a couple of weeks ago. She said they made Tracy come and sing at this thing for Lorne. Tina said that Tracy showed up wearing a vintage fur coat. She said he had a necklace on and it was like a solid gold Jesus head. Howard said she must have been so impressed with that.
Howard said he saw Tina on Jerry Seinfeld's ''Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee'' and she said something that he's just forgetting about now. Howard said it was in his head that just left. Howard said he just lost it. Tina said comedians are such lone wolves. She said she was talking to Jerry about never doing stand up and Jerry told her that she's better off not doing it and she thought about how she had to do it after that.
Howard said Tina has said a lot. Howard said the movie is a life lesson. Howard said it's really compelling. Howard said it says go out and live your life and take risks. Howard said he really liked the movie. Howard said she's having a good time doing it.
Howard said Tina told Jerry she didn't have a driver's license and that surprised him. Tina said she didn't have it for 12 years and she just got it back recently. Howard said that he feels like she does. He said that they're almost babyish. Howard asked why she's not driving. Tina said she didn't have the license because it expired in Chicago and after 9/11 her papers weren't right so she just let it go. Howard said she also doesn't have a key to her apartment. Tina said she does somewhere but she's not sure where. Robin asked if she carries money. Tina said she has like $6. She said she's a Hollywood phony.
Howard said he'd love to be around her when she has these other moms around her. Howard asked how many things she's got in the works. Tina said they have a couple of pilots in the works and they'll see how that goes and take it from there.
Howard thanked Tina for entertaining them and gave her another plug for her movie. Howard asked if it's going to be number 1. She said it might be 3 or 4 and that would be fine. She said it's a small movie and Zootopia will probably be number 1.
Howard asked Tina if she's a comedian or an actress or both. Tina said she's a writer who gets to perform. Howard said she does it all. Howard asked if she's taking some time off after this. Tina said she is. Howard asked if she has any hobbies. Tina said she will probably cook. Tina said she was asked to do a play recently and she read that you had to be naked and she said she's out. Tina said hell no to doing something like that in a theater. Howard said he'd go see that. Howard asked if she feels she has flaws when she's naked. Tina said she does. She said she trains 3 days a week to look like a comedy writer. Howard said she is cute. Howard said she must know that. Tina thanked him for that. She said she's just taking it in. Howard asked what she does to train. Tina told Howard about some of the things she does. She said she wears Nike Pants and a Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon shirt when she does it. She said that's just what she wears.
Howard said she would watch her at the gym if he saw her there. Howard asked if she runs. Tina said she's too old and she has tendentious in her hips so she can't run. Howard said Tina would goof on herself for training. Howard said he's glad to hear she's doing it though. Howard said he'd love to follow her around for a week just to see what she does. Howard said he thinks he'd hate it. He said it would be pressure to keep her laughing. Tina said they could get through it. Howard said he'd feel too much pressure. Howard asked what she can bench. Tina said she doesn't bench. Howard said he can lift the whole bar when he benches. Howard gave Tina some more plugs for the movie and wrapped up. They went to break after that. They played Hall & Oates performing ''Kiss On My List'' in the Howard Stern Show studio as they were going to break.
- Anonymous Book & Trump / Gary's First Pitch Re-Do? - November 19, 2019.
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked to Gary about possibly throwing another first pitch. Here's my rundown from that day:
More Phone Calls. 11/19/19. 7:45am
After the break they played Soundgarden's ''The Day I Tried to Live'' as they were coming back. Howard said he feels like he's back at K-Rock with this song. He said coming up next is Booker. He said he's not sure who came up next. Gary said Julie Slater. Howard talked it up and said Meg Griffin is next. He said that's beautiful music.
Howard said he was looking at that story in the NY Post about the Kardashian he thought about how he could sell stuff to his fans but he always resisted. He said he has so much integrity. Robin asked what's so integris about that. Howard asked if that's a word. Robin said it is. Howard asked if she's fucking whit him. Robin said she's heard it used. Howard said he wasn't sure but he thinks she's right. Howard said he was trying not to milk the audience. He said he could have come out with a makeup line. Robin said Kylie wears a lot of it. Howard asked what's so great about it. Robin said she knew kids wanted big lips.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves him to death and he's been a fan for 30 plus years. He said he knows he says he doesn't get political but he has Colbert, Kimmel and Seth Meyers on the show. He asked if he doesn't see that they're all political and so far to the left. Howard said he's not having them on for their politics. He said they're famous and they have interesting occupations. He said that's a slam dunk for the show. The caller said Seth Meyers isn't funny. Howard said go watch his special on Netflix. The caller said he's seen it and he sucks. He said he talks about Trump. Howard said it's funny as hell. The caller said all he does is trash trump. Howard said this is so stupid. He hung up on the guy. Howard said he's had a lot of right wing people on the show. He said he's so fucking dumb. He said people have become such fucking assholes with this Trump and their politics. He said Roseanne is for Trump. He said Scott Baio has been on and he's for Trump. He said he has interesting people on the show.
Howard said Seth Meyers is really funny. He said he was the head writer on Saturday Night Live. He said he's very prolific with all of the stuff he does. He said he's not sure why people have to get so upset about this Trump stuff.
Howard said there's a book out that's written by an anonymous person who works in the White House. He said they're talking about how they're worried about Trump being in Putin's pocket and things like that. Howard said he can't believe they can't figure out who this Anonymous person is. He said he has it figured out. He said his theory is that it's Kellyanne Conway. He said he thinks that her husband hates Trump so much that there's no way Kellyanne could be married to him if she wasn't Anonymous. Howard said her husband blasts Trump more than anyone else. He said she has to be Anonymous. Robin said that would be pulling off the best Deep Throat thing ever. She said she's so much for him and it's fraying the fabric of her marriage. Robin said if that's true then they're saying the right things.
Howard said whoever Anonymous is they should come forward. He said if they have information like this they should come forward and say it. Howard said Rudy Giuliani said that he has information on Trump and he will never turn on him. He said if you have that information you should come forward to help the country. He said it's not fair to Trump either. He said that's unless he has information. Robin asked why you'd deal with someone like that if you need insurance.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he was laughing off all of this Trump stuff but he's not sure how he does it. He said he makes people think he cares. He said he can't believe people don't see through it. Howard said political talent is about people who are great at being able to employ both republicans and democrats together to get things done. He said going around and convincing people that you're the greatest thing on earth is more like entertainment. King said he thinks he tapped into something. Howard said Trump tapped into it accidentally. He said he thinks running for president was a publicity stunt. He said he thinks he could get him to admit that. He said he was trying to get a raise from NBC for the Apprentice. He said this is what they did to get more attention for the show.
Robin said she talks to people who don't talk about anything negative the president does. Howard said he does too. He said he talks to them about the trade war with China and how it's going to lead to a mess. He said they say he's just saying that.
Howard said Trump's real talent was rating women. He said he'd assign a number from 1 to 10 and he was the first to tell him not to get worked up over actresses. He said he was the one who told him that it's more like hot hostesses and people who are models. He said they're competing in the world of regular girls with regular jobs. King said he's right and he's seen many women like that. Robin said he said Princess Diana was the hottest woman he had ever seen. Howard said he thinks he said that because he was trying to fuck her. King said something that made Howard hang up on him.
Howard said how about that Prince Andrew. He said he came off real bad in the interview. He said at least they have that right here in this country. He said they don't have a royal family. Robin said the Trumps would like that to happen here. Howard said that shit is crazy over there. Robin said they're so above it all. Howard said there was some woman who worked for Jeffrey Epstein and her name was Ghislaine Maxwell. Howard said that's a great name for her.
Howard said he wouldn't need a Jeffrey Epstein in his life if he was royalty. He said he'd just be getting hot regular women. Robin said they need help because they don't know how to get regular women.
Gary Thinking About Doing Another First Pitch? 11/19/19. 8:05am
Howard said Gary was talking about how he has some desire to throw another first pitch. He said he heard that on the Wrap Up Show. He said he's not sure why he'd want to do that again because it was like the worst thing in his life. Robin said that first pitch he did is not going away. Gary said people want to see him make a fool of himself again. Howard said they're still going to show that awful pitch. Gary said he was over the thought of it but the guys were trying to convince him to do it again and the old pitch would be forgotten. He said he doesn't want to go down that road anymore. Howard said he can see why he'd want to try it again. He said it's really risky.
Fred did the Gary Puppet thing breaking the news to his family about doing a second first pitch. Howard said Gary did it on Jimmy Kimmel's show and he hit a woman in the head with the ball. He said that woman did die but not from that. Robin said she did it in high heels and she had no problem putting it right in Jimmy's glove. Howard said that's right. He said he saw that show. He said Robin threw it and did a perfect job. Robin said there's something wrong with Gary's grip or something.
Howard said sports broadcasters still talk about Gary's pitch. He played some clips of some guys talking about him recently. They were goofing on Gary in that clip. Howard said Gary was mad at Jimmy for making him do that pitch. Gary said he was and he got over it pretty quick.
Howard said a football player botched his first pitch and Gary's pitch was mentioned in that discussion. He played a clip of that discussion. Howard said that has to kill Gary. Gary said he doesn't know that guy. He said it kills him less than it used to. Howard said he thinks it's his legacy. He said he thinks even after he's dead they'll play it and reference Baba Booey. Gary said he'll be dead so he won't care.
Howard said a woman threw a first pitch and she hit the camera man. He said Gary's pitch was mentioned in that. He played the audio of that mention. Howard said that will be part of Gary's obituary when he dies. He said he will be mentioned and his pitch will be thrown into the obituary. He said they'll mention the pitch and how his wife got remarried the day he died.
Howard asked if they believe it will be in his obituary. Robin said she's not sure. Howard said it'll be a fun thing. He said it'll be in the paper. He said it would make news if he died. Howard said they'll call him Baba Booey and mention the bad pitch. Gary said it's not out of the question. Howard said he thinks it will. Robin asked Gary to die so they can see. Howard said they'll have the umpire he hit giving the eulogy at his funeral.
Howard said he has another clip of them mentioning Gary on the Today show. He said this is 10 years later. Howard said they're all laughing at him. Howard said Gary is going to die of embarrassment from that pitch 20 years after. Howard said it brings so much joy to people. He said he told Gary not to do it. Robin said it couldn't have gone well with how nervous Gary was.
Howard said Gary hates that the news anchors goof on him about that. Gary said that everyone is a big shot on air. He said they all make fun of him but they're not out there. Howard said he likes when they break into laughter. He played the clip of the people laughing at him on the Today show.
Howard said they all laugh really hard. He said poor Gary. He said even Covino and Rich there at SiriusXM brought up the pitch. He played a clip of them talking about the pitch and how famous it became. He said people call it ''Baba Booeying'' it if they throw a bad pitch.
Gary said he got Rich's job. He said he was driving a van and he recommended him for that job. He said that's his buddy talking about him like that. Robin said every sports guy is going to remember Gary that way.
Howard said Memet thinks Gary should throw the pitch. Gary said the guys were saying he has nothing to lose by throwing it again. Memet said it would be so fun if he did it again. He said it would be funny if he messed it up again but it would be huge if he killed it. Gary said if he killed it no one would care. Memet said it would be a big deal if he did it again. Howard said he thinks that it would make news.
Howard said Jon Hein thinks they could sell out Citi Field with another first pitch. Memet said it can only be better.
Sal came in and said he thinks he shouldn't do it again. He said he will do it well and he'll brag about it. Howard said that's a good reason why he should. Sal said Gary fucking up is him succeeding. Howard said this was so much fun that if he did it well it would dissipate. Sal said you want to have the laughter. Robin said no one will remember him throwing a good pitch. Sal said Gary said for years that he could do it. He said he was acting like a big shot for years before he did it. He said he's saying that the news anchors are doing that to him now. He said he used to goof on him before.
Howard thanked Sal for weighing in on that. He played another mention of Gary's pitch that was during a golf tournament. Howard said you'd think he'd be safe in a golf tournament. Howard played that clip and the guys were goofing on Gary in that. Howard said there's no escaping it. He said he's not sure why anyone would trow out that pitch. He said Rachel Ray threw a perfect one. Robin said no one will remember that. She said they only remember the bad ones. Howard said Rachel Ray got Gary fired up to do it again.
Howard said the date has been set for Gary's vinyl party at Rachel Ray's house. Gary said it's going to be him, Fred, Jon and Steve Brandano that will be going. Fred said he has a shit load of old records and a turntable. He said he has it hooked up to some speakers but not to the home theater or anything. He said he doesn't listen to it all that often. He said he is thinking about what he'd bring to the party. Howard said he heard they settled on the food related theme. Gary said they haven't decided yet.
Howard asked if he's exited to do it at Rachel Ray's. Gary said they were going to do it at Jon's house but this is even better. Howard said he read an article that vinyl is bad for the environment. He said he's against it. He said it's such a pain in the ass. Howard went to break after that.
- Ronnie's Comedy Show - July 15, 2019. 05/27/20. 9:40am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked to Ronnie about his comedy show. Here's my rundown from that day:
Catching Up With Ronnie And Shuli. 07/15/19. 7:55am
After the break they played The Beatles ''Across the Universe'' as they were coming back. Howard let the song play for a short time.
Howard said how about this Jeffrey Epstein dude. Robin said she knows his brother. She said she has met him a few times. Howard asked who he is. Robin said she's not sure what his name is. She said she has met him a few times and he has a lot of money too. She said he's a philanthropist as well. She said he gives a lot of money away. She said he has nothing to do with his brother.
Howard asked who is more sexed up, Ronnie or Jeffrey Epstein. Robin said she thinks Epstein. Howard said Ronnie has sex toys and puts stuff in his ass. He said listen to what Epstein had in his home. He read about the stuff like a chess board with naked sculptures of people who work for him. Robin said that's something that he had to have made. Howard said he bets that guy is all proper when you meet him. Robin said she was reading about a party planner who was doing something at Mar-A-Lago and then they found out it was Trump and Epstein who were holding the party and said he can't bring 20 girls here. She said he was really skeeved out.
Howard said he found a guy hornier than Ronnie. He had Ronnie come in. He asked him if he would get a chess board of everyone there nude. Ronnie said he wouldn't do that. He said it's crazy. He said people are into a lot of sick shit.
Howard said he had a pair of fake boobs to squeeze in the bath tub. Ronnie said that's weird shit. Howard said he had them fixed to the wall in the shower. He said he's a horny guy. Ronnie said he'd never do that.
Howard said Epstein also had a life size doll hanging from a chandelier. Robin said the only thing she's ever seen like that is Hugh Hefner's house. Robin said he had statues of people fucking each other. Fred did his Ronnie impression talking about stuff that he's done.
Howard said Epstein would be freaked out by Ronnie and Ronnie would be freaked out by Jeffrey Epstein. Howard kept saying ''Werit'' like Ronnie pronounces ''weird.''
Howard said Epstein is pervier than Ronnie but he has more money than he does. He said you never know until you have that kind of money.
Howard said that Epstein stuff is one step from burying women in your basement. Robin said he used to be a school teacher in New York. She said he was sometimes a little weird when he'd go to school.
Howard asked how the Gold Rush rally went for Ronnie. Ronnie said they had a great time. He said he met up with the drivers in Chicago. He said there are a lot of cars in it. He said it's a bunch of rich guys with fancy cars. He said it costs like $25,000 a car to enter. He said you go from city to city like the Gumball Rally. Robin and Howard had no idea what that was. Howard asked if Ronnie and Kurt Busch were the only celebrities in it. Ronnie said he was just asked to be on Kurt's team. He said Kurt paid for everything. He said he was invited to drive. He said he drove one car and Kurt drove another. He said they had a team of drivers and cars. He said they had some normal guys driving.
Ronnie told Howard about some of the places he drove. He said he went out and drove for 5 days. He said they ended up in Austin, Texas. He said they started in Miami and went up toward Chicago where he met up. He said then wound up in Austin.
Howard said they say that Ronnie congratulated Kurt Busch at 3am on his Twitter. Ronnie said he was out late that night after doing a show at Governor's comedy club. He said he came out and did some material. Fred did his impression of Ronnie doing his stuff on stage. Howard asked how long it took him to say cunt up there. Ronnie said he doesn't think he did that.
Howard had Shuli come in to talk about that appearance. He said he heard he was evaluating women within seconds up there. Shuli came in and said that Ronnie is something else. He said he controls the room for sure. He said it's as if 2019 and what's going on with women hasn't reached him at all. He said he was up on stage asking a woman to turn around so he could look at her. Howard asked if Ronnie had an act planned. Ronnie said not at all. He said this is what he does. He said he likes interacting with the audience. Shuli said he's like a molester. He said he looked at this guy and asked if she was really with him. He said he compared him to himself.
Howard asked who walked out. Ronnie said no one walked out. He said they had a great crowd for a summer night.
Shuli said the comic who was doing the show with didn't know what Ronnie was going to do. Ronnie said the guy had no idea. He said he asked what he was going to do out there. Shuli said a comic is used to the guy before him setting the table for him. Shuli said he had to follow something crazy that Ronnie said. Shuli said Ronnie did a good job out there. He said he was in party mode the rest of the night. He said he was bouncing off the walls. Howard asked if he got out there and stated yelling right away. Shuli said he gave them a ''Lets fuck some whores!'' right away.
Howard asked what other catch phrases he used up there. Ronnie said he got some ''Sixty nine'' requests. Shuli said they asked for sex tips and he said no because that's just for this show. Howard asked if he said ''Enough of these wive shits.'' Ronnie said he didn't do that one.
Howard said ''Lets fuck some whores'' was coined in what year. It was 2006. Howard said they should pull every Ronnieism out. He said he could have a set list for his appearances. He said they could ask him what he was thinking when he said these things.
Howard did his Ronnie impression along with Fred. They were talking about how he came up with some of these things.
Howard said he has some audio from the show. Jason said Stephanie tweeted it out. Ronnie said that she was in the audience sitting at a table.
Howard asked Ronnie how he ends the show. Ronnie said he ended it with Shuli. Howard asked if he ever thinks to himself that he didn't give the audience a good show. Ronnie said he doesn't think he has. He said he thought this was a good show. He said he has had bad shows.
Howard asked what it costs to go see Ronnie. Shuli said it's like 25 bucks. He said they're all fans of the show. Howard asked if he can handle the shows on his own. Shuli said he can. He said this is the first time they did a show together this summer. Howard said Ronnie just goes up and curses. He said he goes right to the dirty word. Ronnie said it interacts with a conversation. Fred did his Ronnie impression yelling out ''cunt'' over and over.
Howard asked if there's a VIP ticket where you get Ronnie yelling cunt in your face. Shuli said he was in Vegas recently doing a show and he's like the band Phish. He said High Pitch Erik and Speech Impediment Man showed up to shows. He said Speech Impediment Man showed up in his outfit. He said it's distracting.
Howard said this guy said he saw Shuli with a retarded guy and it turns out it was Medicated Pete. He said it wasn't Ronnie like he thought.
Howard asked Ronnie about evaluating women up there. Ronnie said that's not what he does. He said he just tells women how good looking they are. Shuli said he is so not self aware.
Howard said he has a clip from the show. He played the audio and Ronnie was yelling out ''Lets fuck some whores.'' Shuli said you don't want the audience to think you can just yell out. He said that continues when he leaves the stage. Shuli said his buddy Mike Feeney has never done a show like that. He said he killed it up there but that's what he had to deal with.
Howard and Fred did their Ronnie impressions and talked about doing the crazy catch phrases out there. Howard said he wishes he had his whole set to listen to.
Howard asked how long he was out there. Shuli said he was out there for like 8 minutes. Robin asked how he gets that much. Howard said it has to be the audience yelling stuff out. Shuli said he's just talking to the audience. Shuli said no one yells out that he sucks or anything like that.
Ronnie said this one woman was there because her boyfriend dragged her there. Howard said Ronnie is there to heckle the hecklers. Howard asked if he ever drags out his comments like saying ''Cuuuuuunt.'' Ronnie said he didn't yell out cunt at all. He said the women liked what he was doing up there. He said no one left or ran away.
Howard said Ronnie came back from his big road rally and his comedy show appearance. Shuli asked if there is anything going on with him and Goldberg. He said he didn't see him with him this time. Ronnie said he was only able to run one day this year. He said there's nothing going on there.
Howard said Ronnie is out there meeting girls and meeting guys. He said he's living the dream of a 15 year old.
Howard said there's a note saying that they were terrorizing people out on the road rally. Ronnie said they got pulled over once by this small town sheriff. He said this guy ran his license and ended up taking a picture with him. He said it was between Kansas City and Oklahoma. Howard said good thing it was a fan who pulled him over.
Howard said here's a Ronnie Race Car song. He played a song parody about Ronnie. It was to the tune of the old Speed Racer cartoon theme.
Howard said that's pretty good. He said that it sounds like Shuli had a good time out there with Ronnie. He said the less interaction he has with the public the better it is. Howard said that is some act. He said you'd think Ronnie would turn down the offer because he has nothing to say up there. He said it's embarrassing and maybe he'd ask for him to write him a line or something. Ronnie said he's a host and he's a different kind of host. Howard said it's more of a hostage situation. He said they're stuck with him.
Howard said even if he sang a song or something it would be something. Ronnie said he doesn't sing. Howard said you'd think he'd get some kind of act together. Ronnie said it's enough. Robin said he could talk about getting pegged. Howard said he'd be mortified up there without any material. Shuli said he could tell the story about getting pegged the first time. He said it would be funny if he just told the story.
Howard said he could go out and read a poem or something. He said just come up with something.
Shuli said that it can be terrifying out on stage. He said he has to come up with stuff on the fly sometimes and that's really hard. Howard asked if he ever thinks about not taking the money. Ronnie said he takes the fucking money. Ronnie said he hung out and took pictures with everyone.
Howard asked Ronnie to just go out and tell a story about having a dildo shoved up his ass by a stripper. Robin asked how she missed that story. Howard said she must have turned down the sound in her headphones. He said she must be so disgusted by it that she missed the story.
Shuli said when you write about the real stuff in your life then it really gets the audience. Shuli said that Ronnie has the ability to just say something and get people to laugh. He said just try shit. Howard said just tell the story about finding his parents having a threesome with the neighbor. He said no one has that story. Robin said he jerked off to that. Ronnie said he went to his bedroom to do that. Robin said that was after he laid on the floor to look under the door.
Howard said Ronnie got hypnotized and rode the Sybian. He said he could talk about that or the woman who blew him who had no teeth. Shuli said how about the time he took a shit in a box. Ronnie said that was Shitbox Ritchie, not him.
Shuli said one time Ronnie told a story about a woman who ended up having crutches and he drove off when he saw her showing up to a date. Howard said Ronnie was driving and this chick pulled up next to him and he asked her to pull over to meet her. He said then she gets out of the car and she has crutches. He said she's getting her two poles out and Ronnie looked and drove off like Kurt Busch. Robin asked why he didn't have coffee with her. Ronnie said it was late.
Howard said congratulations to Ronnie on the road rally and the comedy stage return. He said Shuli was proud of him. Howard said there you go.
Howard said this guy Jeffrey Epstein is on the phone and he says that Ronnie was very funny. Howard took the call and fake Jeff told Howard it's just clean, fun entertainment. He said he should take his show on the road. He said he gives it 2 rapes up. Howard asked if he hears a girl crying in the background. Fake Jeff said those are tears of joy. Jeff asked if Robin has any nieces that he can meet. Robin said no. Howard asked the screaming girl to quiet down. Jeff asked what Ronnie's Twitter handle is because he wants to invite him to some events. Howard went to break a short time later.
- Mumble Rap / Howard's Family Stories - June 11, 2019. 05/27/20. 10:35am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about mumble rap. Here's my rundown from that day:
Howard Getting Into Mumble Rap. 06/11/19. 8:00am
After the break they played Beck's ''Loser'' as they were coming back. Howard came back and said he likes this guy. He let the song play for a little bit. He said it doesn't mean anything. Robin said it's almost like he just put in anything he saw into the song. Howard said that's the kind of song he has to write. Howard said he likes that. He read some of the lyrics to the song. He said talk about stream of consciousness. He said he's such a free thinker. He said they're not artists. Robin said this is their art.
Howard said thanks to Fred for the song. He said the new thing is something called Mumble Rap. He said this is something he can do. Howard said he's into rap now. He said there's a sub genre of rap called Mumble Rap. He said he has some samples of it. He said he will play some for Robin. He said it's people mumbling over a beat. He said it's popular with the streaming services. Howard said it's baffling to him. He said he can't make out a word of it.
Howard played a song called Double Dutch that Lud Foe and Z Money put out. Robin said this is terrible. Howard said this is art.
Howard played another song that he said went platinum. He said it's called ''Lifestyle.'' He said there's another one called ''Wicked'' by Future. He played some of that for Robin too. Robin said this is before the song is done. Howard said this is the finished song.
Howard said he's getting way into this. He said he's been looking for a vehicle for his own music. He said that he's getting into producing other artists. He said he's going to have JD on his label. He said maybe he should save it. He said their company own Pandora now so maybe they should put it up there. He said if he puts it up he bets it'll get a following. Howard played the song that JD rapped. They had a beat that they played JD's mumbles over. Howard said that's DJ Da Bad Ass.
Howard said they have Asian Pete doing a song too. Howard played some of that one too. Robin said they have to put this one out somewhere. Howard said he wants to put it on Pandora. Howard said imagine all the girls he'll have after this song comes out. Howard played more of his song and played some of a Leon Spinks song they put together too. Howard said he's speaking the truth. He said he has tons of hits in him. He said he meant hits to the head.
Howard said there's a mumble rap feud between JD and Leon. He said there it is. He said he even signed a schizophrenic patient with a speech impediment. Howard said he's going to play a game where he plays mumble rap or an impaired person. Howard said he has to figure out how to do this. He figured it out and played a clip for Robin. He played one where they had a guy mumbling over a beat. Robin said that's real mumble rap. Howard said she's right. He said that's Skeechy Meechy.
Howard played another clip for Robin and asked if this is real mumble rap or an impaired person. Robin asked him to play it again. Howard did that and Robin said that has to be real mumble rap. Howard said it is. He said that's an artist called Lance with ''Bring me that shit.'' Howard said that song has 50,000 views.
Howard played another clip and asked Robin what she thinks that is. Robin said that is an impaired person. Howard said she's right. He said that's a schizophrenic with a disorganized speech pattern.
Howard played another clip and asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said that has to be an impaired person. Howard said she's right again. He said it was a drunk person they put to music.
Howard played another one for Robin and she knew it was an impaired person. Howard said that's actually Kirk Douglas. He said he has a whole new career. Howard said Robin was 100 percent right. He said he liked that JD mumble rap. He said he's on to something. Robin said they have to put that one up. Howard said Asian Pete was really good too. He said it's very musical. Howard said he thinks he could make some money in this genre. He said he could make money off of Leon Spinks. Howard said that guy is gone, right? Robin said no. Howard played Leon's song again.
More Phone Calls And Howard's Childhood Discussions. 06/11/19. 8:15am
Howard took a call from Balls who said when he does the paperback he has to put Wendy in there. He said only Howard could make him listen to 40 minutes of a retarded girl talking about shitting her pants. Howard said thanks for that and he might take him up on that.
Balls asked how long he's ever gone without talking to his parents. He asked if he has ever gotten into an argument with them. Howard said he never has been in an argument with them. He said they're right all the time and they don't give a fuck. He said he's the one who calls them. He said they never call him.
Howard said he never argues with his wife either. He said that maybe that has to do with his parents. He said he's not going to argue with Beth. He said that he doesn't like conflict. He said he's very uncomfortable with it.
Balls asked if he's ever been on a family vacation with his parents. Howard said he has and it was a nightmare. He said they went to Washington DC. He said they went to see all of the stuff there and then went to Virginia. He said they saw cotton growing and how it looks with seeds in it. He said his father was very aggravated. He said they were just annoying to him. Robin said he was the one who decided on the vacation. Howard said he was always in charge of the stuff he carried around and he had cameras and stuff on him. He did his impression of his mother and father arguing about taking pictures on vacation. He said his dad wanted to walk free but he had to carry a camera.
Howard said his father would carry around a pipe and he smoked tobacco in that. He said they didn't get that on camera. He said there was a train they went on but it didn't move. He said his father was annoyed by that too. He said it was just constant yelling. He said they didn't take many trips. He said they went to visit his sister in college. He said he was 14 when she was 18. He said he tried to be cool around the other girls. He said she went to an all girls college. He said the food was really good at the college. He said the girls were always on diets so they didn't eat much. He said his dad liked the food there too. He said his sister wanted to go out to eat but his father would yell ''Nooo'' when she asked. He said it was perfectly good food there.
Howard said he would rush to the cafeteria to be first on line. He said he'd put food on his tray. He said he got pancakes and ordered toast and his father went berserk. He said his father would ask what was wrong with him. He said toast is the same as bread. He did his impression of his dad yelling at him in front of the college girls. He said his mom would yell at him too. He said she never defended him. She went along with his father.
Howard said he would embarrass his father in line at the cafeteria. Robin said he was very aware of everyone around him. Howard said his father would go off on him about the toast and pancakes. He said he'd get all upset. He said he just wanted to have his fucking toast. Robin said you'd think that you'd be free at some point. Howard said he still hears that voice in his head all day. He said he wakes up in the morning screaming at himself calling himself an idiot. He said he tells himself to get out of bed, you idiot.
Howard said they would go to the beach too and that was horrible too. He said he'd go down on the beach and try to drown himself in the waves. He said he was always by himself. He said his parents were very cheap. He said they'd buy into a cabana at Point Lookout. He said they were tiny and they had like 10 families who all chipped in. Gary said people would brag about having a cabana there. Howard said they had to carry their chairs to the beach. He said they'd change in the cabana and things like that. He said his mom would wear a cap on her head to keep her hair dry. He said the big move was that she could rinse off in the cabana.
Howard said they were like the Trumps on the beach. Gary said they were on a waiting list for 10 years for one of those things. Howard said you had to know someone. He said you weren't supposed to share a cabana but they all did. Howard said his mom would wash her rubber sandals in the cabana.
Balls asked if his parents ever argued. Howard said they didn't really. He said they each overlooked a lot of stuff. He said his dad would come home and mow the lawn on the weekend. He said he was constantly fixing stuff around the house. He said he'd sit and read the NY Times and watch Tarzan. He said he still watches baseball too. He said that's why he's not into baseball. He said his father would drag him along to the racetrack to watch the horses. He said he took him once and yelled at him the whole time. He said he yelled at him at the baseball game too. He said they went to Shea Stadium and it was a fucking nightmare. He did his impression of his dad yelling at him about the score card. Howard said it was such a stupid thing to him because they had a score board. He said his dad gave him the card and told him to fill it out however he wanted. Then he yelled at him for doing it wrong and took it from him. Howard said you'd think he'd explain it to him instead of just taking it away.
Howard said his mother would ask how it went and his dad would yell about how he didn't know how to do it. Balls asked if he ever won any big money at the track. Howard said there were a lot of degenerates there. He said his dad wasn't a degenerate gambler. He said he just went to get away from the family.
Howard said it didn't go well. He said he never went to amusement parks. He said he went to Nunley's to play some games but that was about it. He said he was alone pretty much a lot of his life. He said his mom would try to force a father son day. He said it never went well. He said they went to the movies once. He said it never worked out. He said his dad took him to see Barbarella. He said it was a sexual movie and he didn't belong there. Howard asked what year that came out. Fred said it was 1968. Howard said he was 14 years old that year. He said that was an awkward age. He said it was weird to see that with him. He said there were guys jerking off in there for sure. He said he didn't want to look at that with his father there.
Howard said Jane Fonda's tits were out for the first 10 minutes of the movie. He said he had never seen that look on his father's face before. He said he didn't take him out of there. He said they didn't even talk about it after the movie. Robin said Howard lived in the bizarro world. Howard said his mom didn't even ask how it went. He said he had to go to his room and just push all of these feelings away. He said it would have been erotic to see it on his own. He said the guy at the movie theater must have thought it was weird to see his dad bringing him in.
Howard said his mother made his dad bring him to the recording studio. He said his father was always angry about that. He said it was around Easter or Christmas. He said they'd have a whole spread there for food and his dad would be all upset about spending money on the food. He said he'd yell about it not being like that all the time.
Howard said he had to get out of there. He said it was crazy. He said it would have been fun if his dad wasn't so uptight. He said he got to see Don Adams working. He said he never even introduced him to them. He said it was just some kid sitting there. He said Larry Storch was in there recording and his father was so sweet around them. He said he would ask them if they wanted lunch. He said then in the car he'd bitch about that too. He said his dad would complain about someone asking for shrimp salad. He said he'd get so upset. He said he thought they were breaking some kind of rule by having that. He said his dad would complain about his partners too. He did his impression of his dad talking about them.
Howard talked about the drink his father would make his mother make for him. He said he had to have this Rob Roy. He said his mother would prepare it early in the day and she'd be nervous about it. He said she'd be peeling a lemon and mixing this drink for him. He said she didn't drink at all but his dad did. He said that he'd get all red in the face after drinking it. He said his mother would complain about that to him.
Howard hung up on Balls because he was coughing and making noise. Howard got back to his parents and talked about how lucky he was to be alive. He said he had the black community mad at him for being white.
Robin said she ran away from home once. She said she didn't know how to do it. She said she got about 2 blocks away and she realized she had no place to go. She said it was the most defeating experience in her life. Howard said they should take a break. He said they have a lot to catch up on. They went to break after that.
Today's show was over around 11:15am.