- Winter Vacation Replays - Day 6. 02/20/17. 7:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: There were no opening bits or songs today.
Howard is off for a winter vacation this week. Here's what they played today:
- Pokemon Go - July 18, 2016. 02/20/17. 7:00am
First up on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about Pokemon Go. Here's my rundown from that day:
Back Live - The Pokemon Craze. 07/18/16. 7:00am
Howard and the guys were back from vacation this morning. Howard started the show talking about the Pokemon craze that's going on. Robin asked what the heck happened. Howard said they went away on vacation and all of this horrible stuff went on. He talked about Baton Rouge, Nice France and the coup in Turkey. He said then there was Pokemon. Howard said from what he can tell it's a video game that was turned into a cartoon and you didn't hear much about it. Then all of a sudden they put them in a virtual world and now you go in the street to see them. Howard said there's a map and you can go to Robin's house to find one of the Pokemon characters to kill. He said then you battle it. He said there are people obsessed with it and walking over cliffs because of it. Howard said they're in a frenzy to find the characters. Robin asked if we're grown up. Howard asked if she's asking that around there. Howard said he sees one between her legs so he has to capture it.
Howard said there are gyms that were locations for Pokemon characters but then he read that somehow the app thought the Westboro Baptist Church was a gym. Howard said he sees a Gigglypuff. Then he said ''Oh, that's Benjy.''
Howard said before they went on vacation they sent Chris Wilding to a Pokemon convention. He said it gives you douche chills. Howard said it must be an escape from the reality of our world. Gary said they say that the app has been downloaded 15 million times and it's being used as much as Twitter right now. Howard said he would play a video game because he doesn't want to walk around and be in the real world. He doesn't want to go to a gym at the Westboro Baptist Church.
Howard said listen to this horrible incident. Howard played a prank call Richard made to a guy telling him he's playing the game in the neighborhood. He said that he sees Squirtle in his living room. He asked if he can come in and capture it. The guy said he didn't care. Richard mentions some Pokemon Characters and tells the guy he wants to come in and capture them. The guy told him to lose his number. Richard keeps going and then calls back after the guy hangs up on him. He gets hung up on again soon after.
Howard said he looks down on Pokemon because he's a Candy Crush fan. He doesn't even know what that is. Robin said there's someone there who has someone in his life who loves it. Fred said his wife plays it and she's addicted to it. Fred said she falls into the demographic of people who are addicted to it. Howard said she's married to Fred too. Fred said there are many who aren't married to him and are addicted to it.
Howard said JD is addicted to it too. JD said you put 3 shapes together and it's fun. Howard said he wants JD to describe the game to them. He said that will be fun. Howard said he knows how it'll go down. He did his impression of JD talking about it. Howard said JD loves anything with candy in it.
Howard asked JD how you play the game. JD told Howard that you ''have a thing''... and Howard stopped him. Howard asked if he missed them for 2 weeks. JD laughed.
JD told Howard there's a box shaped with other shapes with blue and pink and you move 3 together... Howard said Beetlejuice would describe it better. Howard said it's funny to hear him talk about it.
Did Robin Rest On Vacation? 07/18/16. 7:10am
Howard said he has to play this game ''Did Robin Rest During the Break...'' He played a bumper for the game. Howard asked Robin if she rested. Howard asked Fred what he thinks she did. Fred said he thinks Robin didn't go to a shithole but she went somewhere no one else would go. Howard asked Benjy what he thinks she did. Benjy said she saw her on Facebook once. Robin said that might not have been her. Benjy said he'll say she did go to a shithole.
Howard asked JD what he thinks. JD said he thinks she spent a week somewhere. Robin said of course she spent a week somewhere. Howard asked if she stayed home or did she go parasailing over Mt. St. Helen. JD said he thinks she went somewhere.
Howard said he's going to say that since she had a bad time after her last trip that she didn't go away this time. Howard said she had clogged ears and all of that. Howard said he'll say she stayed home for 2 weeks.
Howard asked Robin what she did. Robin said the answer is ''Robin stayed home.'' Howard said he knew it. He asked what he wins. He asked if he gets $500 cash. Howard played the bumper they had for the game again.
Robin said she wanted to make sure her ears were clear for flying in the future. Howard said that's what won the game for him. Howard said Benjy cheated by going on Facebook but he didn't get any clues there. Howard said JD played but they just don't know what he said.
Pokemon Convention Clips. 07/18/16. 7:15am
Howard said here was a Pokemon convention up in Montreal. He said this is the hoopla that goes on at the convention. He said it's held in a tiny room the size of the lobby there at Sirius. Howard played one interview that Chris Wilding did with an attendee who was talking about a character he came up with and how he fought this Pokemon character. He was going on and on about how he fought it. Howard said this is what happens when you crack down on bullying. Howard said this is the kind of guy who is supposed to be shoved in a locker.
Howard played more of the guy talking about his Pokemon stuff. Howard said you know none of these guys have touched titties. Howard said that guy's battle cry was like the Rambo of Pokemon. Howard said he thinks they'd trade it all in for one chance to fuck a chick.
Howard said in this next clip they asked these guys to name as many characters as they can in 20 seconds. Howard played one guy rambling names of the characters the whole time. Howard said he can't even name that many people who work for him in 20 seconds. Howard said in the next clip the guy does the same thing. Howard played that one and that guy did the same thing.
Robin said no one should know this stuff. Howard said the only person who should be able to do something like that is Leo DiCaprio naming all of the chicks he banged this week.
Howard said imagine the parents of these guys. He said they're adults. Robin said they have to get the parent's information and talk to them after meeting these people. Howard said that George Clooney can't be playing Pokemon. Howard said good looking people don't play.
Howard played another interview Chris Wilding did with a guy who talked about his favorite Pokemon and did an impression of a sound they make. Howard said even if he did play it he wouldn't admit it. Howard said he'd be a self hating Pokemon player. Howard said he makes fun of them because he is one of them. He said that's why people think he's Pokemon-phobic.
Howard said those impressions are impressive. He said those sounds make vaginas dry up all over the country. Howard said his favorite Pokemon is Squirtle and Tan Mom.
Howard played another interview where a guy said he would rather have Pokemon than have a cure for cancer. Robin said he thinks he understands cancer. Howard said the guy is right. He said cancer is impossible to cure. Robin said it is not. Howard said don't argue with the guy on tape. There is no comeback.
Howard said Pokemon cures one thing. Premarital sex. Howard said it makes people happy though.
High Pitch Erik Periscope Clips. 07/18/16. 7:25am
Howard said he's tired already and it's their first day back. Robin said it's just one day that he could come in rested. Howard said he's not into the job anymore. Robin said he wasn't playing Pokemon. She said he was listening to High Pitch Erik tapes. Howard said that's right. He said he was doing that and talked to Robin during break. Howard said someone has to do it.
Howard said Erik was on Periscope and even that's fucked up. He said even that is annoying because it cuts in and out. Howard said he has bad Periscoping. Howard played a clip of Erik talking about how the violence must stop. He said don't throw rocks and bottles at cops. He said they're there to protect you. Erik was talking about that when he got cut off. Howard said Erik got cut off and started up again. Howard said he gets back on and Periscope cuts him off again. Howard played that clip where Erik is talking about guns and Obama and he gets cut off again. Robin said Erik said ''People guns kill.'' Howard said he thinks he was saying people kill, guns don't. Howard said he has to play it again. He replayed the clip and Erik said ''People kill, guns don't'' but then he repeated it and said what Robin thought he said.
Howard said Erik gets on again and now the audio is really shitty. Howard played that clip and Erik's signal was bad so he was all choppy and repeating. Howard said this is what he was listening to over vacation. Howard
Howard took a call from a guy, Chad, who said he was talking to Erik over vacation and Erik was trying to learn to play Pokemon. He said he became annoyed immediately and said he wanted to stab Gonzo over it. Howard said he was just calling for peace in that clip though. Howard said that these guys are inconsistent. Howard said Chad's connection is more annoying than Erik's. He said it's like he's doing Morse Code and talking at the same time. Howard had Chad say something and it was beeping at the same time he talked. Fred played some beeping to go along with Howard talking.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the whole concept of the Pokemon game is to go out and exercise. He said you have to walk a certain amount. Howard asked why it's important to get people outside. Howard said maybe let people stay home and motivate themselves to go outside. The caller said that will never happen. Howard asked if he's a Pokemon player. The caller said he is not.
Howard said he has to take a break. Robin asked if anyone gets good at these games. Howard said that they do. He said they can make money playing some of these games. Howard said he thinks the only thing you get good at is virginity. He said you never lose it. Howard said he can't imagine anyone getting laid from it.
America's Got Talent Insider Info. 07/18/16. 7:30am
Howard said they got the real Underdog Lady to do an announce for who they have coming up on the show today. Robin said she saw Suzanne recently and she was shocked at how much she's aged. Howard played the clip and Underdog announced that Nick Cannon is coming in today. Howard said they let Underdog give him a couple of digs in that clip. She mentioned that he was a former America's Got Talent judge. Howard said he still hasn't watched the show this season. Robin said she did and it's okay. Howard said it's the same show. Robin said she didn't care what any of them said. She said she never cared what a couple of them said but now she doesn't care about what any of the judges say. Robin said she found it hard to believe anything that Simon was saying. She said he's so insincere. Howard said the show is doing well in the ratings. He said he told her it would. Howard said after 4 years it was enough for him. He said it doesn't matter who you put on the judge panel.
Howard said some dude sent him an inside scoop from the show. He asked Gary where that memo is. Howard said he has to ask Nick about it. Howard said it was probably Howie. Howard said he thinks people are tuning in for Mel B's tits. Howard said this guy sent him a note and he claims to be an America's Got Talent insider. Howard read the note and the guy said Simon Cowell is out of control and he show up late to every show. He read that Simon also tries to get Howie cut out of all of the shows. Howard said the guy said they let Simon do whatever he pleases. He said that this guy thought he would like to know all of this.
Robin said she saw Heidi Klum interacting with Simon's kid on the show. Howard said there's something terrible about Simon in the letter. He said he farts and blames it on Heidi. Howard said he really doesn't give two fucks about the show. He said that some people don't even know he left. Howard said he did the show for 4 years and it was probably too long. Howard said Nick is coming by to promote the show. Howard said he loves Nick. He said he's going to talk to him about what's going on with him and those spoken word things. Howard said Nick's dad died so he has to talk to him about that. Howard said his dad used to be on the set of the show. Howard said he talked to him about OJ Simpson. He said he believed that he was innocent and he had the proof. He said he was a really nice guy though.
Howard played a Nick Cannon spoken word clip where Nick was doing his thing and there was bongo playing. Howard took a call from a Robin Spoken Word caller. The guys in the back were playing clips of Robin talking and bongos playing with her. Howard let that go for a minute.
Howard said Spoken Word Robin is on fire. He said she puts Nick Cannon to shame. They started to play the same clips so Howard gave up. Howard said they're going to fire Robin and bring in Spoken Word Robin. He went to break after that.
- Stump The Booey - June 14, 2016. 02/20/17. 7:35am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a Stump the Booey segment. Here's my rundown from that day:
Stump The Booey With Mara And Gary. 06/14/16. 7:55am
After the break they played a phony phone call Ike Barinholtz made to an internet radio show using a few different voices and a Baba Booey song parody.
Howard came back and sang along to the Baba Booey song parody. He said it's time to play Stump the Booey. Howard put an effect on his voice that he didn't even mean to use. Howard said he just found it. Howard said Gary and Mara are going to play Stump the Booey today.
Howard introduced Mara to the audience. She corrected him on the pronunciation of her name. Howard said she has nice legs. Howard asked how old she is. She said she's 40. Howard said she looks like a little girl. Howard said Mara thinks she can beat Baba Booey in music trivia. Howard said Gary loves pieces of vinyl. Howard asked Mara if she's into that. She said she grew up on cassettes.
Howard said they have a $5,000 grand prize from Tommy John (TommyJohn.com) to give away if Mara wins. Howard said Mara is a film critic for Us Magazine. Howard said that's pretty cool. Howard asked if she went to school for journalism. Mara said she did. Robin asked what she knows about game shows. Gary said her reviews are about a paragraph. Mara said Gary hasn't read the magazine. She said it's online reviews that she does and they're longer than what's in the magazine.
Howard said the flats Mara is wearing aren't hot. She said that hurts. Howard said always wear high heels when you're a girl. Robin said it shortens the calf muscle.
Howard said Mara lives in Manhattan and works at Us Weekly. Howard said she works for Jann Wenner. Howard said he likes Jann and Rolling Stone. Mara thanked him for supporting that magazine. Howard said when he does interviews with them they want to hang out with you all day long. Howard said he doesn't want to do that.
Howard read that Mara has interviewed many celebrities including Robin in 2008. Mara said she did and forgot to turn on the recorder. She said she was taking notes during the interview and she was just so excited that she forgot to turn it on. Howard said then they write your answers for you. Mara said they had this nice conversation and Robin told her how she likes the female fans of the show. Mara said she didn't want to call her back and tell her she forgot to turn the recorder on.
Howard asked if she can make six figurers doing what she does. Mara said you can make six figures. She wouldn't confirm if she does. Mara said the perks are great for the job. She said she just got back from Cannes. Howard asked what the worst shitty movie she ever saw was. Mara said they're the ones you've never heard of. She said the worst was ''Tammy'' with Melissa McCarthy. Mara said she loves Bridesmaids but she trashed Tammy. Howard asked if she's ever heard from any of the stars. Mara said her boss heard from one publicist. She said she said something bad about a 5th rate star and she was asked not to mention them by name. She said that she tries to have some integrity though. Howard said he follows Us Weekly on Twitter.
Mara and Howard talked about The Bachelorette for a short time. Howard asked Mara about dating and if she's on the apps like Tinder. Mara said she has been on them. She said it's hard for her. She said she's more comfortable in her office listening to Howard's show than going out and being social. Howard asked if she ever lets a guy take her out and bang her. She said not recently. Howard asked if she's ever been married. Mara said she hasn't. She said she dates. Howard asked if she's good in bed. Mara said she thinks so. Howard asked if it's weird not being married at 40. She said it just came up on her quickly.
Howard asked Mara used to hate him. She was a massive Luke Perry fan and she was upset that he ruined his moment on stage when he was Fartman. Howard said Luke was in on the whole thing. Mara said she was 16 and Howard had his ass hanging out and she didn't appreciate it. Howard asked how long after that did she become a fan. Mara said she was living in Detroit so she didn't hear it until 1998 when she moved to New York. She said all she had was listening to Howard's show back then.
Howard asked what her favorite movie is. Mara said it's Back to the Future. She said she's not saying it's the best movie but it's her favorite.
Howard said it's time to move on and play the game. Howard said that Gary has lost before but not often. Gary said he has lost. He said he started playing it at 37 and now he's 55 so he may have lost it. Howard said Gary's voice is unclear again. He said he must be nervous. Gary said he's okay. Gary said he studied a lot. He said he prints out lists from the 80s and goes online and listens to them. Gary said he had to listen and play some of them to make sure he knows them.
Howard asked Mara if she studied at all. Mara said she did. She said she did a Spotify list and all of that. Mara said her twin brother Frank wrote the letter to the show. She said that she spent many years of her formative years listening to Casey Kasem.
Howard said Gary and Mara have been studying. Howard said Gary had Steve Brandano quiz him. He said that now it's time to find out. Howard asked Robin who she thinks can do it. Robin said Gary has been very good for years so she's going with Gary.
Howard said he has the songs in front of him. He said they're not the most difficult. Howard said they have to thank Tommy John for the prize money.
Howard said he's going to play the song and both contestants have to write down their answers. Howard played the first one and Gary and Mara wrote down their answers. Mara asked for a little bit more. Howard played a few more seconds of the song. Howard said he has to stop it there. Mara had Bow-Wow-Wow ''I Want Candy.'' Gary had that too. Howard said he didn't get that. Robin said she knew it.
Howard played the next song and had Gary and Mara write down their answers. The song was Air Supply's ''All Out of Love.'' Gary and Mara both got it right.
Howard played the next song which was one that Robin didn't know. Howard said he has the answers and he can't even get it. Howard asked for the answers and Mara had ''You're a Friend of Mine'' by Jackson Browne and Clarence Clemens. Gary had it too and he added Daryl Hannah to the list.
Howard played the next song which was GTR's ''When the Heart Rules the Mind.'' Gary and Mara weren't getting it. Howard had to play a lot of the song. Howard said he's given them a lot. Mara didn't know it. Howard said if there is a tie they go with the person who has the bigger teeth. Mara came up blank. So did Gary. Howard told them it was GTR. Mara got it when she heard GTR. She knew the title.
Howard said Gary is fired if he doesn't throw this game. He played the next song which was Champaign ''How 'Bout Us.'' Mara got it. Gary got it too.
Howard played the next song which was ''Never Ending Story'' by Limahl. Both of them got it right. Howard said Gary is very phlegmy today. Gary said he's nervous. Gary cleared his throat but it didn't help. Howard said he never heard the song before. Gary said it was a movie.
Howard said that this is exciting. He said they could cut the tension with a knife. Howard said a big, boring knife. Howard played the next song which was Mr. Mister ''Kyrie'' and both Gary and Mara got it right. Howard played some of the song and said he hates it. He didn't know the song.
Howard played the next song which he kept short because he wanted to end the game. Howard said this stopped being fun 4 questions ago. Howard asked for Gary and Mara's answers. Mara said she thought it was Aretha Franklin's ''Freeway of Love'' and she was right. Gary got it too.
Howard said the score is 7-7. Howard played the next one which was ''Voices Carry'' by Til Tuesday. Gary and Mara both had it right.
Howard said this is amazing. He said that they just got a ratings report and they only have 8 listeners left. He said he's never playing this game again. Howard said he's not sure about this bit.
Howard played the next song which was Thompson Twins ''Doctor, Doctor.'' Gary got it wrong. Mara got it right. Howard said he didn't know she won. Howard was going to give them a couple more. Howard told Jason to get out of there with the check but then he just said that's it and gave it to Mara.
Mara said she has to thank Tommy John but she's not going to keep the money. She's donating it to the North Shore Animal League. Howard said that's very nice of her. Howard said they have Tom Patterson from Tommy John to present the check to Mara. Howard said he didn't know Tom was so young. Tom said he's 37 so he's not that young. Howard said Tom invented Tommy John. Howard said he used to wear boxers and his pants bunched up. Howard said they sent him some of his underwear and he has to tell him something. He said he put on these underpants and they're fucking awesome. Howard asked what they're made out of. Tom told Howard what it's called. Howard said his balls feel great in them. Howard said he's wearing the briefs today. Howard said he's wearing their shirt and their socks too. Tommy said they never advertised but Howard talked about them. He said they've doubled in sales every year for the past couple of years. Howard said he loves it.
Howard asked if they'll cut the check to North Shore. Tommy said sure they will. Howard said it's great that Mara is doing that. Mara said she is an animal lover even though the dog that lives across from her annoys the shit out of her. She said that she knows it means a lot to Howard. Howard thanked her for that. Howard asked Tom if he wanted to say something. Tom said he's going to donate 5 percent of sales to North Shore today. Howard said he's glad Gary lost.
Howard said Mara did good today. Howard gave Tom some plugs and then played another song and Gary got it very quickly. Howard played another one and Mara got it really quick. Howard said he enjoyed that. He said it was a lot of fun. Howard said he met his hero Tom Patterson too. Howard said he didn't know the audience had that kind of generosity. Howard said he hopes Mara meets a man and has much sex. They went to break a short time later.
- Eric The Actor Anniversary - September 20, 2016. 02/20/17. 8:20am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about the anniversary of Eric the Actor passing away. Here's my rundown from that day:
2nd Anniversary Of Eric The Actor's Death. 09/20/16. 7:55am
After the break Howard came right back and said he wants to mention an anniversary. Howard said it's 2 years that Eric the Actor has been dead. Howard said they have a fan quiz up on HowardStern.com. Howard said he has his handler Jon on the phone. Howard said today is a sad day. Howard asked Jon what he's up to now. Jon said he's taking care of his parents now. Howard asked what his favorite memory of Eric is. Jon thought about that and said maybe going to Vegas with Eric or going to Disney with him. Howard said Eric had shit going on. Howard said before they were on the show they must not have had much going on. Jon said they used go to wrestling and stuff like that.
Howard said he really misses Eric. He was going to let Jon go. Jon said he wants the fans to know that he doesn't have anything of Eric's for sale. He said that fans have asked him for his sheets and underwear and stuff. He said there are a bunch of sick ass people out there. Howard asked where his underwear is actually. He asked what they are willing to pay. Jon said they never say, they just ask if he has it. Howard said maybe he should sell his underwear as Eric's. Jon said he's much bigger than Eric ever was. Howard said they could make a fortune selling that stuff. Howard let Jon go after that. Howard said if you put some tiny skid marks in there you'll have something.
Howard said it's the second anniversary of his death. He said they have the quiz up on the web site. Howard said between Eric and Beetlejuice they're probably the best Wack Packers. Howard said he has six reasons why Eric was the best. Howard said everyone has heard the clip of Eric saying he's club fucking footed. Howard said he asked him about his foot being turned backwards and it made Eric crazy. Howard played a clip where he talked to Eric about that and Eric eventually yelled that he's ''club fucking footed you asswipe.''
Howard said Eric was trying to say he didn't have a problem with his foot. He said it was so great. Howard said if he was there they'd be just as confused.
Howard said Eric and Beet are both great. He said it was so easy to set Eric off. Howard said Eric sold 0 tickets to an appearance he was making once so Fred would play the ''Zero point zero'' clip when Eric was on the phone. Howard played a clip of Eric talking about how he hates Steve Langford and Fred played the clip and set Eric off. Eric yelled at Fred to stop pushing the button or he'd fly to New York and break all of his fingers.
Howard said he has talked to Jimmy Kimmel about this. He said he might think Eric was the greatest Wack Packer of all time. Howard said Eric got a job on ''In Plain Sight'' and he was afraid that there would be werewolves in New Mexico when he went to shoot the show. Howard said they wrote it in on his contract. Howard said Eric was carrying on about it. Howard played a clip where he read the werewolves thing. Eric thought there were actually werewolves there because he read that on Wikipedia. Howard said he really wanted that in his rider.
Howard said the next reason he thinks Eric was the best is this one. Howard said Eric the Actor's manager was Johnny Fratto who is also gone. Howard said he booked his appearances and movie roles. Howard said Johnny's father was in the mob and Eric once asked Johnny to take a hit out on a guy from his high school. Howard said Eric had disability ramps in his school and this guy made fun of him for that. Howard played a clip where they talked to Eric about the hit he wanted to take out on someone. Eric said it wasn't a hit he just wanted them to teach the guy a lesson. They played the voicemail where Eric told Johnny ''You know what to do... you know what to do.'' Johnny said that little guy is a gangster. Robin said that was the best. Howard said that really was gangster.
Howard said reason number 5 for Eric being the best is this. He said Eric's catch phrase was ''Bye for now.'' He said everyone started doing it but then Eric got upset that everyone was doing it and he stopped saying it. Howard played a clip where Eric stopped the phrase because people were making fun of him for using it. Howard got him to say it though.
Howard said as soon as they liked something Eric did he would stop doing it. Robin said the other thing that got him was when they said he was in the Wack Pack. Howard said he would sometimes just grunt things. Robin said that's where the ''Ack, ack'' came from. Howard played a song parody where they had Eric saying ''Uh'' over and over in a Led Zeppelin song.
Howard said the sixth reason for Eric being the best was the High Pitch Erik ''This is Kelly Clarkson'' call. Howard played the prank call they had Erik make to Eric. Erik called as Kelly Clarkson and then as KC Armstrong. Then Erik said he was Gary Dell'Abate but he didn't change his voice at all.
Howard said those two used to go at it. Robin said he hated being the brunt of phony phone calls. Howard said it's been two years since Eric passed. Robin said she thinks about him every day. Howard played another song parody with Eric sounds in it. Howard said maybe the best way to remember him is to listen to Jewel's ''Tiny Actor'' song about him.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said Eric didn't even appear to like Howard. He said most Wack Packers love Howard. He said Eric just put up with Howard. Howard said sometimes he'd divorce himself from the show. He said he loved him on the show and sometimes he'd stop calling for months. Howard said once he called in as Derek the Actor. Howard said he didn't seem to like the show though. Robin said she thinks that Eric called in to say he did a good job as a judge on America's Got Talent.
They talked about Eric and the flying with balloons thing. Howard said Eric once wanted to open a modeling agency where the women would live in his home for free and he would mentor them.
Ralph said Eric was a mess but he wanted to be an actor and be a modeling agency. He said he had this drive to do all of this and he was stuck in that chair. Howard said it was like Heroin when they'd send him to the Bunny Ranch. Ralph said he remembers the pictures of Eric there when he had boobs on his head and all of that. He said he was the greatest. Howard said one time they had a hooker sit on his face. Howard said that's the way he should have gone. Howard said Eric wasn't even supposed to live until 18 but he lasted until like 40. Howard said he outlived his doctor's expectations. Ralph said there will never be another one like Eric.
Robin said Eric would never play gay in an acting role. Howard said that's right. He said he had his American Idol recap show where they had technical difficulties. Ralph said he should play some of that. Howard said he should. Howard said he'd be talking and there would be echo. Howard did an impression of what it sounded like. Howard said JD would come in and complain about having to listen to the whole thing. Ralph said he was the best. Ralph said now he's sad. He gave him a ''Bye for now.''
Howard took a call from a guy who said he doesn't appreciate the characterization of people asking for Eric's underwear. The said they're trying to get them so they can get DNA and clone Eric. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard played a clip of Eric doing his internet show and having technical difficulties. His voice was stuttering and the audio kept cutting out. Howard said he could listen to that all day. He played another clip where the hosts were talking to Eric and they were echoing. Howard said they were broadcasting from the international space station. Howard played more of that echoing stuff. Howard said it was like hours of that. JD came in and said they would do 10 minutes of Idol talk and then an hour and a half of Q and A.
Howard said he knows JD hated that. JD said looking back on that it was great but it was hard to get through at the time. Howard said it sounds like something from Star Trek where they're contacting people in space. Howard said he has 3 minutes of this. He played the audio and fast forwarded trough it and it sounded the same 3 minutes in. Howard said rest in peace buddy. He played Jewel's song ''Tiny Eric'' which was a tribute song she performed on the show. They went to break after that. They played a ''Wendy the Slow Adult Sings The Hits'' album commercial parody as they went to break.
- Denis Leary - June 29, 2016. 02/20/17. 8:50am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a Denis Leary interview. Here's my rundown from that day:
Denis Leary Visits. 06/29/16. 8:45am
After the break they played a Led Zeppelin song with a woman moaning after breaking ribs falling out of a wine stomping barrel. They also played a Robin Quivers ''White or Very White'' bit. They played a phony phone call the guys made to a restaurant using clips of Mel B talking on the show. They played a Drinking Tip from Richard Christy bit. They played Robin Trower's ''Bridge of Sighs'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said he has Denis Leary there. Howard said he's never done the show. He asked if he's ever met him. Denis came in and Howard said he still looks like the guy from MTV and he hasn't aged. Denis said Howard looks younger than he does. Denis is 58 and Howard is 62. Howard said Denis really is handsome. Howard asked if that worked against him when he was doing stand up. He said that Jerry Seinfeld and Jay Leno were out there doing their thing at that time. Denis said that Seinfeld was getting laid a lot. He said it was really a lot. He said that Larry David wasn't getting laid at all. He said Jerry is very polite and he dresses well.
Denis said it's weird that he knows everyone on the staff and he's never been on the show. Howard said he saw him posing with Flat Ronnie on the set of his TV show. Denis said he met real Ronnie today for the first time.
Howard said he remembers Denis from MTV and he remembers Cindy Crawford saying that he was so handsome that they all had a crush on him. Denis said he never heard that. He said when he met Cindy she was married to Gere. He said he knew Randy Gerber. He said he came close to meeting Howard in 1992 when he did Fartman. Denis said he was there presenting with Cindy. He said they were on the side ready to come out. He said he saw the whole thing from the side and laughed his balls off. Howard said he got crucified for doing that. Denis said they were all taking themselves so seriously there. He said he thought it was fucking great. Howard said he aged like 15 years after doing that. He said he almost lost a finger doing it. He said he loved Metallica and they hated him for doing that.
Denis said there was a feud going on between Nirvana and Guns N Roses and the Black Crows were mad at him over something. He said he wanted to find them and go ask what the fuck was going on. Denis said that he likes Radiohead and Morrissey and they make fun of them on the TV show and the fans get pissed. Howard said he's had that from fans of Taylor Swift. Howard said his fans don't defend him but the rock stars have people defending them.
Howard said he always thought Denis wanted to be a fireman. Denis said his cousin became a fire fighter and he had a friend there in New York who worked on Rescue Me. He said the job is really dangerous and he doesn't have the balls for that.
Howard asked what kind of research he has to do for a show like that. Denis said he had his cousin Jerry's crew in Worcester, Mass. He said that you get to know the guys. He said the basic crew they work with you get to know. He said they'll fix your mom's porch or something. He said he knew a lot from them and this guy Terry was in New York and he'd go hang out with Terry and those guys. He said that many of those guys are slightly smudged versions of the characters on the show.
Howard said you have to do a lot of research. Denis said you go to dinner and all you hear are fire stories. He said he hung out so much and he'd go on the rig with them. Howard asked if he wanted to be a hockey player. Denis said he did. He said he's a big hockey fan. Howard asked if he ever thought he could be a pro. Denis said no. He said there were some kids from his school who were drafted in 1975. He said that's crazy. He said he got put in a play by a nun and he got the girl bug first. He said he was in the hall skipping class and Sister Rosemary told him to be in this play. He said every hot chick was in the audition thing. Howard said he never thought about that being a way to interact with girls. Howard said he should have done that.
Howard asked if Denis was a good looking guy in high school. Denis said he wasn't but there was another guy who was and he became a Broadway dance guy.
Howard asked Denis about his parents and Denis told Howard about how they came over here. He said his dad was a musician and played in Irish bands. He said his mom came over and saw New York for the first time and she hated it. He said she wanted to go back to Ireland. Howard said there was a great movie about that recently called Brooklyn. Howard said that was great. Denis said his mom didn't want to live there. Howard said that's how he would be. He said he's scared of it and he was born there.
Howard asked if it upset Denis that his mom had to clean homes. Denis said not really. He said she was cleaning nice homes. He said his dad was an auto mechanic. He said that they had a working class home. Howard said Denis went to Emerson and that's a nice school. Denis said the nun he told him about got him an audition. He said his dad wasn't making that much money. He said he wasn't the greatest student. He said his dad told him if he wanted a job driving for Coca Cola he could get him that work. He said that he didn't want to do that the rest of his life. He ended up getting a scholarship thanks to that nun.
Howard said he thought that was an artsy fartsy kind of school. Denis said it is. He said it's full of guys and many of them are gay.
Howard said he couldn't get laid at his school. Denis said his roommate was living in one of the dorms at Boston University. Howard said he went to all girl's schools to try and get laid. He said he sat in a vestibule watching TV while his friends were getting laid. Howard said he doesn't look like Denis. He said it's easy for Denis.
Denis told Howard he went to B.U. with his friend and his friend made a pass around the room. He said he's standing at a dorm room and the door opens and this hot chick invites him into the room. He said she starts making out with him and the next thing he knows he's fucking her. He said he got done and she said see ya later. Denis said he told his friend about what just happened after he wasn't able to find the girl he was looking for. He said that was a great time back then. He said you didn't worry about herpes or AIDS.
Howard said Denis went to Emerson and started a comedy troupe. one of the guys in it was Steven Wright. Howard said that's why he went into stand up. Howard said he describes him as this painfully shy guy and he was able to perform. He said Denis thought if Steven could do it then he could do it. Howard said that guys brilliant. Denis said that he still sees Steven. He said he sells out and he's still brilliant. He said he works with Louie C.K. on his show. He said that it's great that they hooked up. He said it's good that he's getting out of the house.
Denis said they weren't getting work back then after college. He said Steven was doing his thing on stage even being as shy as he was. He said a few times he saw him facing the back wall doing his act. He said Lenny Clarke told him he had to face the audience. Howard said doing stand up is frightening. Howard said he tried it back when they were in Hartford. Howard said he stared doing it on TV. He said he didn't like the idea of doing the same act over and over. Howard said putting your back to the audience is brilliant.
Denis said that Steven's jokes are like haiku. He said that he saw the jokes written down and they were like little prose poems. He said Lenny Clarke was great too. He said Lenny was up there talking the way he does on a street corner. He said he realized if Lenny could do that then he could probably do it. Howard asked if he was horrible at first. Denis said he was. He said he was young. He said Richard Pryor really inspired him. He said he wondered how he could do this. He said Lenny was a natural.
Denis said that he was doing this angry smoking guy character. Howard asked if he still smokes. Denis said he does. He said he quit for a year but he wasn't able to keep that going. He asked if he thinks he's going to live forever like Keith Richards. Denis said he met Keith's dad and he does the same thing. Howard asked if he thinks it's the genes. Denis said he does. He said he thinks it's genetic. Denis said his dad died young at 60 because of heart disease. Howard asked if he's banking on his mom living long and hoping that will keep him going. Denis said he is.
Denis told Howard more about Keith's dad and Howard asked how much access he had with them. Denis said they wanted to make a film with improv stuff back in 1994. He said the Stones called them and asked them to hang out and do this thing with them. Denis said the first day they meet Mick. He said it was amazing. He said that they were going to have to hang out with them for 6 months off and on. He said they would hang out off and on for that time. He said the idea was that it would all be fake. He said they had to convince Keith to do it though. He said they went to his dressing room to convince Keith. Howard said those two are the greatest musicians ever and they can't get along. Denis said that Pete Townshend wrote a book and he and Roger don't get along either. He said the day Mick and Keith get along it might be over.
Howard asked if he based his new TV show on Keith and Mick. Denis said that it's based on a friend of his actually. Denis told Howard that he was dating a girl who introduced him to the guys in the Cars. He said he lost her to one of the guys. He said that he had met his wife around that time too. He said she had just turned 20 and she was a student of his. Howard asked what class he was teaching. Denis said it was a seminar for script writing. Denis said this girl had just transferred into the class. He said that he loved Julie Christie when he was growing up and she looked like Julie Christie. He said she came in holding a puppy. He said she sat down and he said if she's funny he's fucked. He said he knew his life was over. Howard asked if it was weird to ask out a student. Denis said not at all. He said that he knew he had to try to fuck this chick. Denis said he tried to stave it off for as long as he could. He said they almost made it to the wire.
Howard asked why he has just one N in Denis. Denis said it's a gallic spelling. He said his grandfather was spelled that way too. He said his name was Penis in school because his dad had a long stem on the D. Denis said he still has friends from college who call him penis man. Denis said that Lenny Dykstra interview blew his mind yesterday. Howard asked if he believes he's a gigolo now. Denis said he didn't hear the beginning but then he heard Lenny and he was talking about the PC and the thing about not wanting to take a shit. He asked what that's about. He asked who doesn't ant to take a shit. Denis said he was handling that interview really well. He said he wasn't acting all shocked. He didn't know about the teeth thing either. He said it was so fucking crazy.
Howard said he had a game plan for Lenny and Jon Hein told him he just wanted to talk about pussy. Howard said he wants to talk pussy then lets hear. He said lets go pussy. Howard said he doesn't know baseball but he sort of knows pussy. He said he should run for president. Howard asked if he thinks he's gotten that much pussy or not. Denis said it's tough to say. He said he is an athlete. He said that they should talk about the no shitting thing and hanging out with old chicks. Howard said he wanted to keep it to just Lenny but he could have gone 15 hours with him. Denis said it was like he was stringing him along and the shit just kept coming out. Howard said he was saying he is a Picasso of pussy. Denis said that was just fucking crazy. He said he talked about his perfect cock too.
Howard said never mind that. He wants to get back to Denis. Howard said they have to get him back in there. He said Denis has to come in when he's there. Denis said he has to read his book. He said the Rolling Stones will have to buy that book.
Howard asked Denis if he plays instruments. Denis said he plays guitar very badly. Howard said he likes that song ''Asshole'' that he did. Denis said he's a horrible player though. Howard said Denis was dating this girl and he meets The Cars and the guy steals his girl.
Howard said he's doing this show ''Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll'' and they have to do their own music. Denis said they actually go in as a real band and come up with stuff for about a month. Howard asked if he writes this show. Denis said he does with another guy. Howard said Denis didn't want to do any talk shows when he started out. Denis asked how he knew that. Howard said he knows. Denis said he loved Carlin and Pryor and they were both about the same thing. He said they didn't need talk shows. He said it's all about just saying what you want. He said on a talk show you have to be tamed. Denis said he would have like 5 ideas in his head on stage and he'd just do it. He said that Jerry Seinfeld would ask why he said fuck all the time. He said he just wants to be able to talk like that and use all of those words. Howard said Jerry thinks that it's too easy to do a joke with curse words. Howard said he thinks that curse words are funny. Denis said he wants to be the angry smoking guy. He wants to be able to curse. He said he knew he could never be that guy Steven Wright is. Howard said MTV was perfect for him. Denis said he never scripted those rants on MTV.
Howard asked Denis about how they did the MTV thing. Denis said they'd take him out to Roosevelt Island and just record him doing all kinds of rants. He said they ran the spots and things got crazy. Denis said they looked pretty good and they made sense out of them. He said Ted Demi was a genius about that shit. Howard asked if he got club dates after that. Denis said he didn't get paid shit for that but he did make it up doing specials and albums. Howard said then he started making movies. Denis said that Bob De Niro sent someone down to see his show so he met that guy. He said that De Niro told him to start a production company. He said he was right. Howard asked if it was disappointing to him that his movies didn't do well when he started doing that. Denis said The Ref was a great movie and he thought it was funny as shit. Howard said it didn't do well financially. Denis said they released it in March instead of December. He said the movie company apologized for doing that to them. Howard said once you have one good movie then you can make more. Denis said that movie still has a life 25 years later though.
Howard said he's thinking about this show ''Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll'' and how perfect it is for him. Howard got back to asking about the Rolling Stones and hanging out with them. Denis said they found out that Keith didn't want to act in this movie Mick wanted to do. He said that Keith was familiar with the ''Asshole'' song and he was strumming it on his guitar. He said that Keith told them that he's not going to do any acting but he will do the playing on stage. Howard said it's great that he told him that. He said Mick has always had a hard on to be an actor. Howard said Keith knows himself and he won't embarrass himself doing something like that.
Denis said what's impressive about those guys is how hard they work and how detailed they are. He said they go to dinner and they ask about moving songs around. He said they really gave a shit. He said he realized they're fucking pros.
Howard said he thinks that they have to work as hard at that learning those songs. Denis said they start off with Keith's riff usually. He said then the drummer comes in. He said Keith looks at it like it's all about the vibe. Howard said they talk about that in the book he's reading. He said usually the drummer establishes the beat. He said that Charlie waits for Keith to start it so they're off by a beat.
Howard asked how involved they got with the Stones. Denis said they were there for a week and they went away. then they went to Giants Stadium. He said that they went to L.A. after that. He said Mick invited them to his birthday party. He said you go and he and Teddy walk up and knock on the door and some guy answers the door. He said Mick was in here dancing with a bunch of chicks. He said he waved and said hi to them. He said that they love to dance and they can dance. Denis asked how you put a number on how much pussy he's gotten. He said fuck Lenny Dykstra, Mick is the man. Howard said he'd love to interview Mick. He said if you want to compare Mick and Lenny Mick still has teeth.
Howard said Denis met Steven Tyler up in Boston too. Howard asked about where he was living and he was living in a shitty apartment building. Howard said Denis would see Steven at his building all the time. Denis said he was working at The Rat in Kenmore Square. He said his friends played there. He said that he'd stay there until 3am when the bar closed. He said this girl Angel or Angela was a fashion designer and she lived in his building. He said that she didn't give him the time of day. He said one night he opened the door and walked up and he heard this guy pounding on the door. He said he wondered what the fuck was going on and he looks up and it's Steven Fucking Tyler with his full outfit on punching and kicking the door. He said he stops and says ''Hey dude. You know if Angel is home?'' He said he said ''Aw fuck it'' and walked out. He said he told Steven that story and Steven didn't remember the story but he remembered the girl.
Howard said that these guys can get so many girls and he thinks they like working for it. Denis said imagine being like Mick Jagger and Bowie. Howard said in that case they'd fuck each other. Denis laughed. Denis said that's fucking funny. He said he wanted to ask Mick why he got married. Howard said he could ask Denis the same thing. Denis said he's not in the Rolling Stones. Howard asked what the answer is. Denis said he'd love to ask him that. Howard asked if he's still close. Denis said he saw him at a charity event but he didn't remember when.
Howard asked what happened with the Stones project. Denis said they went to visit Mick about 3 months in and they had this new kid in the band and Charlie and Keith didn't want to be involved. Howard said Charlie doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would care.
Howard asked if they got to see the guys rehearsing. Denis said they did. He said they'd show up and Mick will start playing and then Keith picks up his vibe and then Charlie is on the drums. He said they might play for 15 minutes. He said they're just warming up. Howard said he'd love to have a collection of those warm ups. Denis said sometimes Mick would just play harmonica. He said that stuff was just great.
Howard said Denis got to know Bowie too. Denis said he met him once. Howard said he wanted to know about Steven Wright. Denis said he was co-hosting a comedy show and he'd bring over friends of his. He said they'd have a British music act on the show too. He said what would happen is that the music acts wouldn't hang around with them. He said Bowie was there the fourth week and this was in 1991. He said he's a Bowie freak. He said he didn't care what happened but he had to meet him. Howard said it's almost like pursuing a woman. Denis said he was gay for Bowie for a few days. He said he thinks his wife would have understood.
Denis said he went out to smoke one day and he wondered how he was going to meet Bowie. He said he knew Bowie was a big smoker. Howard said he thinks that's what did him in. Denis said he thought it was liver cancer. Howard said lets not ruin it by talking about cancer right now. Denis laughed. Denis said he was wondering how he was going to meet Bowie and then he shows up right next to him asking for a light. He said he lit his cigarette Bowie asked him about Steven Wright. He asked what he's really like. Denis said he's trying to think of what to say. He said Bowie asked him about Bobcat Goldthwait and then they call Bowie in and he never sees him again.
Howard said they should promote his TV show. Howard said he's in the season 2 premiere. Howard said that he got the series and he got season 2 and started watching it. He said he didn't understand it because he didn't see season 1. Howard said the premise is that he wanted to be a rock and roll guy but he didn't make it but then his daughter makes it and that brings them together. Howard said he'd watch that.
Howard said that the daughter on the show is really hot. Denis said all he'd have to do is watch the pilot. He said that he wrote the part for John Corbett. He said he got some other great people for the show. He said there is drama and music but they're out to make people laugh. Howard said he has to write the damn thing too though. Denis said he did that with Rescue Me.
Howard asked about doing the Ice Age movies too. Denis said they have Ice Age 5 coming out soon. He said Howard should do something like that. Howard said he can do a voice. He did a lame voice for a character. Denis said he thinks he could get him in on Ice Age 6. Denis said that he never saw kids movies when he was growing up. He said his parents took him to see John Wayne movies and stuff. He said that he saw cartoons on TV. Denis told Howard about how he died in the movie and the kids start balling. He said they brought his character back thank god. He said he signed the first one and they weren't sure if they were going to do a second one. He said they have to come back to him, Ray and Don. He said they call Ray Romano first.
Howard asked if they give him creative freedom at the network. Denis said they are very smart over there. He said he thinks Louie did a great thing. He said he had to go off and do his own thing for his TV show. He said that was a great way to do the show. He said they let him go off and do whatever he wanted to do. Howard said the show is called ''Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll''. It's on Thursday at 10pm on FX.
Howard asked when Ice Age comes out. Denis said it's July 22nd. He said he's not sure if he's going to the premiere. He said he has to do promotion for ''Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll''. He said that needs it more than Ice Age.
Howard said he could do Ray Romano's voice in Ice Age. Howard said that his luck would be making one of these movies and it'll bomb. Howard said he could step into Ray's spot if something happens to him.
Howard said that he can do Elephant Man's voice. He did some of that for Denis. Denis said that's great. Howard did his Stephen Hawking voice too.
Howard gave Denis some more plugs and said he was worried about him. He said following Lenny Dykstra is tough. Denis said he thought about that.
Howard asked about Denis' kids and his daughter works on the Daily Show as a segment producer. Denis said his son works on ''Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll'' with him. They spent a minute talking about that. Howard asked about his brother and what he's up to. Denis said he was a teamster for a while. He said he's still driving a truck.
Denis said he saw Howard across the room once and he just realized how great his hair is. Howard said he got it cut a little short. He said that they're very lucky to have their hair. Howard said Denis has been around a long time and he's done it. Denis said they've been around a long time and so has their hair. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that. They played David Bowie performing ''Fame'' at a Howard Stern birthday show and a Beetlejuice song as they went to break.
- Jason & Memet At DNC - August 9, 2016. 02/20/17. 10:05am
Next on today's vacation replay show they played a segment where Howard played clips of Jason and Memet at the DNC. Here's my rundown from that day:
Hit 'em With The Hein! 08/09/16. 7:40am
After the break Howard came right back and took a call from a guy who said ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' Howard said that's catching on like wildfire. Howard said he couldn't have predicted that one. Howard said people are using it on network shows too. The caller said there's no way to replace Baba Booey but this is like a long awaited sequel. Howard said Baba Booey is so great that he didn't want ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' taking over. The caller said Baba Booey has always been number 1. He said this is the evolution of it catching on. Howard said it's like the new ''Where's the Beef.'' Howard thanked the caller for the call.
Howard said on Phantom Gourmet they worked in a ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' Howard played the clip and the host threw it in at the end of the show. Howard said he had one from a golf championship game. He played that quickly and someone got in a casual ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' Howard said on CBS news they used it. He played that clip next. The female announcer threw it in and explained what it meant. Howard said Jon Hein comes in and doesn't really react to anything when they're playing clips and preparing for the show. Howard said it's kind of a perfect thing saying ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' Howard said he's so not hitting anyone with the Hein. Howard said you ask Jon about it and he doesn't react to it when he's asked about it. Howard said he doesn't really emote. He said you know there's anger boiling in him.
Howard asked Jon how he's feeling about ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' Jon came in and said that he's just amazed at how it's catching on. Howard asked if he's annoyed by it. Jon said he's getting used to it. Jon said he thought the one woman explaining it was kind of funny. Howard said it must bother him that Jason has some success with it. Jason came in too and said that it drives Jon nuts. He said he sits there silently in the office. He said a woman asked if he was the Hein from ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' and Jon just sat there staring straight ahead not reacting to it. He said he did not move a muscle.
Howard asked if Jon is angry. Jason said he's the angriest person he knows. He said they're in an office full of angry people but most of theme express their anger. He said Jon keeps it bottled up and it makes it scarier to him. He said he has to be the angriest guy there. He said that he won't move out of the way at a fast food place after placing his order. He said that's an angry guy who hates society. Howard asked why he won't move to the side. Jon said he's just making sure they get the order right. Jason said it's not normal. He said it's just an even keel.
Howard asked Jon what he feels about this ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' thing. Jon said he has to just accept it. Howard asked if he just wants it to go away. Jon said it is raising his Q rating. He said it's good. Jason said Nik Ruckert who came up with the whole thing thinks Jon will come out with a book in a few years and he'll call it ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' Jon said he can guarantee that won't happen. Gary said he said the same thing about ''They Call Me Baba Booey.''
Howard took a call from Angry Jon Hein. The guys in the back had some clips of Jon Hein yelling about stuff. Howard had a conversation with the clips and the guys had Jon yelling and throwing stuff. Howard told him to go calm down. Jon told him to eat him. Howard let regular Jon go after that too. Howard played a ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' song parody too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a cop and they arrested someone the other day and he asked his Sargent what he wanted to hit him with and he said ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' He said he burst out laughing. Howard said that's pretty funny. He let the caller go after that.
Email, Audio Clips And More. 08/09/16. 7:50am
Howard said they got a lot of email about the Lenny Dykstra birthday message for Robin. Howard said he's thinking of giving Lenny and Ronnie a radio show. Robin said that would be the team of the century. Howard read the mail they got about the Lenny message. Howard replayed the message too. In the clip Lenny said he wanted to eat Robin's pussy and give her a one way ticket to the moon and things like that. Howard said people told him to hire Lenny immediately.
Howard read some mail about the ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' thing and how great it is because Jon hates it. Howard took a call from Jon Hein audio clips where he talks about how he likes to order. Howard cut that off and said they've heard that.
Howard said Jason is so happy that ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' caught on. Jason said it's so funny because it's not mean. He said it's something you can say to anyone and it just drives Jon crazy. Gary asked if he came up with it because he loves Jon. Jason said Nik came up with it. He said it's not that bad. He said JD went through more on the air yesterday than ''Hit 'em with the Hein!'' He said you can walk up to Jon's daughter and says it to her and it's positive.
Howard told Jason to go bask in his glory. Robin said she likes that people are using it in sports reports and things.
Howard said Lenny was on the Wrap Up Show and he claims that pussy came out of the woodwork after he was on the show. Howard played a clip of Lenny talking about the many calls he got after the show. Howard asked if anyone believes that. Robin said she doesn't.
Fred played a clip of Lenny talking about eating Robin's pussy and then some clips of Ronnie talking about stuff like that and they sounded similar. Howard said they would be a great team. Howard said they have to meet and do a show. Gary said Lenny came up there and he told the guys she had a perfect pussy. Gary said he's not sure who would win at being grosser. Howard said nothing about those two turn women on. Howard said that was the greatest exchange between Lenny and Ronnie. Fred played the two of them saying things back and forth. Gary said it's funny that Ronnie said he wanted to send a woman to the moon and that's what Lenny said too.
Howard had Fred play more of the clips and said those two are getting a show. Howard said the new listeners who read the NY Times article will love that show.
Howard said they have Eric Andre coming in shortly. He said that he'll be playing prostate karaoke. Howard said he has a Tan Mom confusion call they made. Howard said Shuli does an impression of her and they had her really confused. Howard played the call where Sal calls Tan Mom and Shuli does an impression of Tan Mom so it sounds like she's echoing. Tan Mom says it's making her nuts and Shuli repeats it. Then he started saying things that she wasn't even saying. Tan Mom said she had no idea what's going on.
Howard said that's so great. Robin said it's the best. Howard said Shuli has that impression down. Howard said they called Tan Mom back and asked who she wanted to have sex with. Howard said she still likes Sal the best. Howard played that clip and Shuli was asking the question about who she likes the best. Tan Mom said Ronnie is too strict. She said Lemet is too young. She said she would go with Sal. She said Shuli has a nice wife so she doesn't want to be with him.
Howard said Tan Mom left a voicemail for Sal and she was doing a sexy voice for him. Howard said it makes him want to throw up. Howard played the clip and Tan Mom was asking where he was and talking in her sexy voice. Howard laughed. Tan Mom said she was sitting there waiting for Sal and she doesn't know what to do. She said ''Love you all'' before hanging up.
Howard said people with cancer kazoos sound sexier than that. Howard said that's the most sexless sex call he's ever heard. Gary asked if Howard thinks Sal got off on that. Howard said yes. He said he bets Sal beat off to that. Howard said Sal digs her. Gary said he wonders if she calls and he does pick up on her sometimes.
Howard took a call from a guy, Apples, who thanked him for bringing up the Orlando Bloom penis picture. He said he and his wife looked it up and his wife said Katy Perry looked like she had some cellulite. Howard said Katy Perry shouldn't be with Orlando Bloom. Howard said the guy is like a Greek God. He said that she has to give it her A-game to be with the guy. Howard said she's an attractive girl but she looked chubby next to him. Howard said she should be with a guy with cellulite on his ass like he has. Howard said he told Beth that she's always going to look great while she's with him.
Apples said he heard that Jim Breuer did not play at the Gathering of the Juggalos because of the shit he took from the Stern Show. Howard said he thinks Jim did cancel it but he's not exactly sure why. Howard said he didn't show up. Apples said Jim Norton showed up but not Jim Breuer. Apples asked Howard to check out the show Vice Principals. Howard said he won't watch it.
Sal, Richard, Memet And Jason Stories. 08/09/16. 8:10am
Howard said JD is upset that they're talking about Katy Perry the way they are. Howard said JD doesn't get what he's saying. Howard said he also heard that Sal was turned on by the Orlando Bloom cock picture. Sal came in and said he is. He said he was feeling feelings that he didn't think he'd have. He said he was turned on by that and he has to go through scenarios in his head to figure out why. He said he was uncircumcised so he thinks of himself there. Howard asked if he thought about fondling his penis. Sal said no. He said he loves the idea of Katy Perry kind of being in a way disrespected with his cock out. He said his cock was out and she was in a bathing suit. He said it's not nice to her. Howard said Sal would like to do that to her. Sal said he's on a raft swinging his dick around.
Howard asked what it was that Richard and Sal wanted to do to each other that was pretty gay. Howard Gary asked what it was. Howard asked if Sal is going to play Karaoke. Jason said Sal and Richard wanted to weigh each other's balls. Howard said there's an internet radio show where a woman weighs her husband's balls to find out if he's cheating. Howard said there is nothing to back that up scientifically. Howard played a clip of this woman talking about how she can tell if he's had sex by just looking at them.
Howard asked if Sal and Richard wanted to do that. Richard said this is all news to him. Sal said this was Richard's idea but Richard claims it wasn't his idea. He said that they were going to weigh their balls and then not have sex for a month and weigh them again.
Howard said Sal has to go and do the prostate karaoke thing. Sal said he'll do it and sing ''Wonder Review.'' He said he sang that at his wedding.
Howard said Sal went sailing with Larry Caputo. Howard said Memet went with them and he took his shirt off and he looks like a young boy because he shaves his chest. Howard said he has pictures of himself with Sal and Larry and he took them with a selfie stick. Richard said he thinks he's experimented before. Howard said Memet has long hair like a girl and the pictures look like something off a gay web site.
Memet came in and said he took just one picture. Howard said he saw like 20. Memet said it was just one. Howard asked if he heard what Joey Boots said he would do to him. Memet said he did. Howard played a clip of Joey talking about what he would do to Memet if he could have sex with him. He went over every detail from his face down to his cock. Richard said he thinks Memet is getting chubbed up. Memet said it's disturbing but flattering too. Howard said Gay Ramone is into him too. Howard played a clip of Ramone talking about what he would do to Memet. He talked about plucking his asshole hairs with his teeth and things like that. He talked about giving him amyl nitrate to loosen his ass up.
Richard asked Memet if he's nice and tight. He also asked if he thinks he's dabbled at all. Memet asked why he would think he did. Sal said they've all seen the pictures of him on the boat. Howard said Captain Janks said he would bend him over a chair and fuck him up the ass. Howard played a clip of Janks talking about what he would do to him and it was a quick fuck and that's it.
Howard said Memet is becoming a gay icon. Memet said he takes that as a compliment. Howard said no one ever wanted him like that. Not a man or a woman.
Howard took a call from Memet's Sexuality who said that he can go either way. Howard said Memet and Jason went to the Democratic National Convention. Memet said that he thought Jason was going to die because it was so hot out. Howard said he is into eating fatty meats and stuff. He said instead of making food he should go for a walk. Robin said he was talking about how long the meat was in something and she was thinking that it can't be good.
Jason came in and said it was very hot out at the Democratic National Convention. Howard said Jason is fatter than ever. Jason said he's down weight. He said he's at 295 from 305. He said he's not fatter than ever. Sal said he took a shit and lost 10 pounds. Howard asked how tall he is. Jason said he's 5'10''. Howard said that means he's 5'9''. Jason said no, he's 5'10''.
Jason said he really couldn't take that heat that day at the Democratic National Convention. Sal said the whole hallway shakes when Jason runs into the studio. Memet said Jason had to bend down to talk to someone at the Democratic National Convention.
Howard had some clips of some of the interviews Jason and Memet did at the Democratic National Convention. Howard played a clip of some people there singing a song. Jason said the woman singing is by herself and the nearest human being is about 100 feet away because it's so horrible. The woman was singing and the microphone was feeding back and squealing. Howard listened to the lyrics and the woman's singing was really bad. Howard had another clip of a woman singing about corporations not being people and how they can't pass the belly button test.
Howard had a clip of a guy Jason and Memet interviewed. That guy was talking about how he goes to different protests and he's also a DJ and a producer. Memet said he has seen the guy around. He said he shows up to all kinds of protests. Jason said no one had a job there.
Howard had another clip of a guy talking about how he wants to have someone get elected and then step down so they can have another election and have 5 vice presidents. Jason said that guy was sitting in the dirt on the ground and he was filthy.
Howard played a clip of a guy talking about the environment after being asked about Black Lives Matter. Memet said that was the same guy. Howard played that clip and the guy said black lives matter but so does the air and water.
Howard had a clip of a guy reading poetry there at the Democratic National Convention. Jason said that guy was an asshole. Howard played the clip and the guy was talking about how he's the center of his own universe and Jason must be too. Howard said Trump has to deport that guy. Memet agreed. He said that he was afraid they wouldn't find any nuts at this convention but there were plenty.
Howard played another clip of the poet guy talking about how he doesn't believe in money. He told Jason he lives a very rich life but he doesn't believe in money.
Howard said there's a lot of hate for Debbie Wasserman Schultz. Howard played a clip of a woman talking about Hillary and about Debbie. She called Debbie a cunt and she wasn't too happy about Hillary either. Howard said there's a lot of sense being made there. Jason said there were a lot of people pouring in there and it was people who put a lot of time into making ''Hillary is a cunt'' signs.
Howard said they asked a girl if she would have sex with Trump if it would mean he would drop out of the race. Howard said she was confused by that. Howard played the clip and the woman said yes but then no. She said that she'd do it if Bernie could take his place. Howard said that's just a little taste of what was going on there. Howard went to break after that.
Today's show was over around 11:05am.