- Back Live, Benjy And Fred Discussions. 05/02/16. 7:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: Peter Frampton performing ''Do You Feel Like We Do'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio.
Howard and the guys were back from vacation this morning. They played a few different people singing ''The Great American Nightmare'' as the show started. Howard said Fred has to tell him when he's on. He said it's only been 30 years together. Howard said when he has his headphones on he has them off. Howard said Fred runs the beginning of the show. Howard said he's supposed to tell him when they're on. Fred said he usually does but it's his mistake. Howard said he has no one to yell at when he does that.
Howard asked what Benjy is eating. Fred said it looks like some kind of fruit. Howard said he thought he had blocked himself in so he can't see that. Fred said he kind of enjoys it. Benjy said they watch each other. Howard said Fred chews on pens and they get caved in by the end of the show. Howard said that's how Fred stopped smoking. Fred said he had to break the pen thing too.
Howard asked Fred what he sees over in Benjy's cubby hole. Fred said it's an early start for Benjy today. He said he usually lets it sit. He said today he's eating. Howard asked if he brings in grocery bags. Fred said sometimes he does. He said he has a cup of ice or two and some coffee. Howard said Fred is like the Jane Goodall of the show.
Howard asked Benjy why he has two cups of ice. Benjy said the apes before him brought in ice. He said he likes his water cold. He said he pours his water into the cup to get it cold.
JD came in and said that sometimes Benjy will stick his face in his food and take a strawberry out. Howard said the human being has a five fingered hand. He said that's why we're above the animals. Howard asked what he did. Benjy said he licked it out. Howard said maybe the red blotches on his face are strawberry stains. Fred said maybe Pomegranate stains.
Howard said the most interesting thing they learned is that he eats out of his bowl like an animal. Howard asked Fred to keep track of Benjy and give them updates. Howard talked about what Fred could report on like he's reporting on animals.
- Remembering Prince. 05/02/16. 7:10am
Howard said they were away for a week and people were dropping like flies. Howard said poor Chyna died the Wednesday they left. Howard said then Prince died and knocked her off the news. Howard said she was getting her own but then it fell off. Howard said he's really weirded out by the Prince thing. Howard said Gayle King was quoted talking about seeing him at a White House performance. Howard said he died alone in an elevator. Howard said he was all alone.
Howard said Prince was the most talented artist. Howard said forget the guitar playing. He said forget he put out the best movie album too. Howard said the guy could dance like James Brown too. Howard said the guy could play guitar and dance and he could play every instrument. Howard said the idea that he's gone is like Steve Jobs dying. He said if he wasn't such a fucking kook... Howard said he saw Prince do a concert once and he turned out the lights. Howard said he's so sad over this whole thing though.
Howard said a couple of clips went wild on the internet. Howard said Adam Levine performing ''Purple Rain'' hit like 25 million views. Howard said it was fantastic. Howard said it showed off the talents of Adam Levine and showed how beautifully Prince writes. Howard played some of that performance. Howard said that Prince was only 57 years old and High Pitch Erik is still alive. Howard said Jeff the Drunk is still going strong too.
Howard said he watched a few interviews that Prince did years ago. He said Larry King got to interview him and he was so jealous. Howard said he has tried most of his career to get him in the studio. Howard said he was unable to. Howard said maybe he was scared of him. Gary said the last time he tried to get Prince on the show was for his birthday show and his people said that he doesn't recognize birthdays because he's a Jehovah's Witness.
Howard said he watched a video where this guy lends Prince a guitar on Jimmy Fallon and at the end of his performance he smashes the guitar. Howard said the guy could be a dick. Howard said he went to see him and turned the lights off. He said the guy could be a dick. Robin said he was a dick in interviews too. Howard said he thinks that he would have been a fine interview. Howard said he didn't know he was a drug guy. Howard said his name is Prince Rogers Nelson and that's his real name. Howard said another dick move was naming himself with the symbol and calling himself the artist formerly known as prince. Howard said he did love the guy though.
Howard said Prince got kicked out of his house when he was a kid. He said his father kicked him out. Howard said Prince wrote his first song at 7 and taught himself every instrument. Howard said he signed with Warner Brothers when he was a teenager. Howard said his second album had a hit on it. Howard said his first one didn't do so well. Howard said the music got dirty and controversial. Howard said he had the song ''1999'' and ''Little Red Corvette'' on his next album. Howard said Purple Rain really blew him away. He said the movie and album really hit big with people. Howard said that did it for him too.
Howard said he loves Purple Rain so much. He played some of the song and said there's a thing on the internet when Prince performed the song for the first time in public. Howard said it's amazing. He said they've lost a great genius. Howard said he's like a Mozart of our time.
Howard played a bunch of clips of some of Prince's songs and got to ''Darling Nikki'' and explained how that got Tipper Gore to get albums marked with the parental guidance things.
Howard said that Prince was asked to do two songs for the Batman movie. Howard said he was asked to do 2 songs for it but he came to them with a whole album. Howard said he thought it was cool that he incorporated scenes from the movie into his songs and no one was doing that. Howard said some people think it's his worst work but he thinks every song on that album rocks. Howard played a little bit of Bat Dance. Howard said he thinks it's great. Howard said this was when Prince was with Warner Brothers and he ended up changing his name.
Howard said the guy was a great entertainer. Robin said he also put together an all female backing band together. Robin said he had all women on stage. Howard said he wrote songs for other people too. Howard said he wrote hit songs for The Bangles and Sinead O'Connor. Howard said he wrote stuff for Chakka Kahn. Howard said he was a Jehovah's Witness and he would go around knocking on people's doors. Robin said that fit him perfectly because that's another dick move to knock on someone's door like that.
Howard said another famous clip is when he was at the Rock & Roll Hall of fame and Tom Petty got him up on stage. Howard played some of that where you can hear Prince playing guitar on ''While My Guitar Gently Weeps.''
Howard said the guy was such a talent. He said it was news to people that he was that great of a guitarist. Robin said if you watched him on stage you were shocked. She said he was dancing at the same time. Howard said rest in peace Prince and went to break.
- Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Discussions. 05/02/16. 7:30am
After the break Howard came right back and asked Fred if he watched the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Fred said he didn't see all of it. Howard said he watched it. He said he didn't know there were so many people in the band Deep Purple. Howard said David Coverdale was in it for a while. Howard said they had like 27 guys and 30 widows up there. He said they had a couple of great songs. Howard said they still sound good. Howard said he liked hearing them.
Robin said that Howard said one word about Chyna and then forgot about her. Howard said that's what happened to her in the news. Howard said he read an article in the Enquirer about Prince having HIV since the 90s. Howard said he thinks that must be total horse shit. Howard said that he tends to believe TMZ the most. Howard said he died in an elevator en 5 minutes later they had every bit of information about his drug use. Howard said that Harvey Levin has everyone on his payroll. Howard said he probably has shit on them that they will reveal when they die.
Howard said on Periscope Medicated Pete did a rendition of Purple Rain for Prince. Howard said it was a horrible version. Howard played some audio of Pete doing his thing and talking about how Prince died and he's going to do a tribute. Pete played the song and then mumbled along with it. Howard said he read a study that found that a lot of people get their news from Pete's Periscope.
Howard said Pete has to get a new song at some point. Howard played more of Pete singing and said Pete said he had no words for Prince dying. Howard played Pete talking about what a big loss it was. Pete talked about how he grew up with Prince. He said he's out of words right now and doesn't know what to say. There were people yelling in the background. Howard said he's in a restaurant so that's what you hear in the background. People on Periscope were asking to see his penis so Pete said they shouldn't talk about that right now. JD told Howard he's actually in a cell phone shop talking.
Robin said they have to ask George Lopez about his connection to Prince. Robin said he spoke at his memorial service.
Howard said a lot of people were moved by his death. Howard said they have a lot of new Robin songs. Howard played some of the song parodies that people did to the tune of Prince songs. Howard played a Little Mikey song and one from Eli Braden. Howard said there's a million of them. He played another Little Mikey song. Howard said Eli had another one too. Howard said these guys have been very busy since Prince's death. Howard played the next Eli Braden song. Howard said there were many of those.
Howard said Angry Alice was also talking about Prince. Howard played a voicemail message she left about Prince. Alice felt very sad that he's gone. She said that god or whatever did that can kiss her ass. She said that Prince was a beautiful soul just like Michael Jackson. Howard said Prince touched Alice. Robin said that means he was incredible.
Howard played a clip of Elephant Boy talking about Prince dying. Elephant Boy was talking about him but I have no idea what he was saying. I can usually understand him but not this time.
Howard had a clip of High Pitch Erik talking about Prince dying. He was talking to Shuli and he asked Erik to name some of his songs. He only knew Purple Rain.
Howard said Wolf Blitzer thought the song was ''Purple Haze'' when he did a report on Prince dying. Howard played a clip of Wolf fucking that up. That led to Fred playing ''Purple Haze'' for a few seconds.
Howard said they took some audio of Medicated Pete singing ''Purple Rain'' to people on the street and told them that it was Prince's final performance. Some people thought that was really Prince.
- Kelly Ripa Discussions. 05/02/16. 7:45am
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who asked what he thought about the Kelly Ripa thing. Howard said he was obsessed with that too. Howard said maybe he should hang up on Mariann because she can't contain herself. Howard said he's trying very hard not to. Mariann said she'd be quiet but she didn't stay quiet.
Howard said they asked Mariann what she sounds like when she orgasms and it sounds like someone is putting a knife into her. Howard played the clip and said imagine that if you're a guy. She sounded like she was doing a monkey impression. Howard said he has to figure her husband is in his 50s and it's hard enough to get an erection. Howard asked if that's really what she sounds like. Mariann said she'll keep everyone guessing.
Howard said he wants to talk about Kelly Ripa. Howard said they were on vacation while this was going on. Howard said Kelly walked off her own show because she felt wronged by her show management. Howard said that she felt hurt when it was announced Michael Strahan was going to Good Morning America. Howard said she felt blind sided by the story and she walked away. Howard said that he is very fond of her husband who married him and Beth. Robin said that he didn't marry Howard, he performed the ceremony.
Howard said he likes Kelly and her husband very much. Howard said if they talked as much as they used to he would have given her some advice. Howard said people in show business don't have people to talk to them in a moment like this. Howard said he thinks about giving people advice but he's been through every type of management fuck you so he had a lot of feelings about this. Howard said WNBC almost broke him. He said it was 10 times worse than it was in the movie. Howard said that they fucked with him so much right from the start over there at NBC. Howard said everyone there knew how they were fucking with him. He said it was a lesson in humiliation and frustration. Howard said that was the beginning of being fucked with. Howard said it kept going with upper management over there. Howard said they all ganged up on him and he felt like he was going to be brought to his knees and cry. Howard said there were days he didn't want to get out of bed. Howard said they finally brought Robin in and fucked with her too. Howard said he felt responsible for that. Howard said then he was fired and he got to Infinity and the FCC started to fuck with him. Clear Channel fucked with him and other DJs fucked with him. He said then Les Moonves sued him. Howard said it was Les and Joel Hollander. Howard said he knows humiliation.
Howard said he worked with every Pig Vomit on the planet. He said there wasn't one day when he was being fucked with that he didn't show up for work. Howard said he was under contract and being paid. Howard said he sued Sirius over a money dispute but he showed up for work. Howard said he felt wronged. Mariann added ''Betrayed'' so Howard said goodbye to her. Howard said he couldn't take it anymore.
Howard said he did feel betrayed. Howard said if he felt comfortable calling Kelly he would have told her to take a breath and go to work. Howard said you can't walk off your own show. Howard said he knows she was upset but you have to figure out how to get back on the air. Howard said even if your boss has fucked you. Howard said she should have asked Michael about it or something. Howard said you can't play hooky on your own show. Howard said you have to go in. Howard said he knows it's hard. He said that he would have told her to go in and make something out of it or not. Howard said dress up like Minnie Mouse and go on the air and scream about it or something. Howard said by the time she did anything it was already ugly and she was embarrassed. Howard said making your boss grovel isn't a good thing. Howard said she was treated unfairly but deal with it. He said deal with it and show up for work.
Howard said Kelly is making 20 million a year and the audience is looking at her wondering why she didn't show up. Howard said he would have called her but he didn't feel comfortable doing that. Howard said Don Buchwald has dealt with a lot of these things for him. He said he understands feeling powerless. Howard said maybe she got some bad advice. Howard said there has to be someone she can go to. He said she needs to talk to someone. Howard said he has spoken to people about this kind of thing before and he'd never advise anyone to walk off their show. Howard said he has suffered way worse humiliation and he didn't walk off.
Howard said the show must go on. Howard said if Kelly had someone to talk to she wouldn't have walked off the show. Howard said Mark can't do it because he's too close to the situation. Howard said she needs someone who has a calm approach to business. Howard said he's not sure what Michael Strahan is doing with Kelly. He said she has to show up for work. Howard said it made her look bad. Howard said he would have told her to just show up. Howard said even if she had said that she can't he would have talked her into going into work. Howard said he knows her pain. Howard said she either didn't have someone to advise her or she didn't listen. Howard said he would have told her to show up for work.
Howard said it was too late for him to call anyway. Howard said management will fuck with you. He said he can tell you that. He said it will always happen. Robin said Kelly said it was her second home. Howard said that's horse shit. Howard said it's not a second home, it's work. Howard said there was a time when he had a guy in management who he thought should treat him like a father. Howard said he went to therapy and his psychiatrist told him he's just in business with him. Howard said he was right. Howard said the guy was looking at the bottom line. Howard said Kathie Lee Gifford thought the same thing about her job. Howard said they threw her right out. Howard said they could do that to Kelly Ripa too. Howard said her second home is in Telluride, not there. Howard said a career is a tough thing. He said he's been fucked with by the best of them. Howard said he knows what it's like.
Howard said he's not criticizing Kelly at all. He said it's a tough road to negotiate and it got the best of her. Robin said it's like an invasion of your home. Howard said things can be way worse than they are. Howard said Disney should have gone to her and considered her. Howard said they should have given her a day or two to get over it. Howard said they have this huge corporation to deal with and that's just a fly on their ass. Howard said they don't care. Howard said that's their attitude. Howard said it's what they have to have. He said they're not thinking about her feelings. Howard said they were wrong and Kelly was wrong. Howard said she should have taken a deep breath and taken her fucking. Howard said even if she had gone on the air and talked about what was going on it would have been better. Howard said he did think about calling Kelly but he wasn't comfortable doing that. Howard said he keeps quiet instead. Howard said he doesn't think she would have appreciated it.
Howard said he's an expert on fuckings from management. Howard said he wrote a book about it. Howard said he had little fuckings in the beginning and they got bigger as he got bigger.
Howard had a clip of Michael Rapaport giving the announcement for who was on the show today. They have Nicole Bass coming in next. Howard said that she's coming in to talk about how she's getting back into stripping. She's going to show them her vagina today. Howard said they'll find out what she thinks about the death of Chyna. Howard said they were in the WWF (WWE) together.
Howard wondered who is going to replace Michael Strahan. He said one of the people they interviewed was Arnold Schwarzenegger. Howard played a clip they created using phony Arnold. They had a fake Bill Cosby audition clip and a fake Dave Letterman audition clip too. Howard said they also have Jeff Goldblum. Howard played that fake clip too. Howard played a Tan Mom audition clip after that.
Howard said Robin showed up for work every day even when she was going through her cancer treatments. Howard said he said to the guys they had to be prepared for her not to be there. Howard said she was on the air the day after her 12 hour operation. Robin said it was like a week later. Howard said it was almost the next day.
Howard said he should play a phony phone call. He said they'll do this going into the commercials. Howard said they have Hillary Clinton calling a Soul Food restaurant telling them she's showing up there. Howard played the call and the owner was laughing along with fake Hillary and kept laughing and laughing. They had Hillary asking what kind of bling to wear and that got the woman laughing. Everything fake Hillary said would make her laugh. They had Hillary laugh at the woman and the woman would laugh more. Then they had Hillary choking and the woman laughed. They went to break after that.
- Ronnie On Limitless. 05/02/16. 8:25am
After the break they played a phony phone call the guys made to a bus company with Jeff the Drunk. They also played Joni Mitchell performing a cover of ''Woodstock'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and sang along with Joni Mitchell a little bit. Howard said JD fell asleep listening to that. Howard said you can rub him belly like a baby.
Howard said Nicole Bass is coming in to show her vagina. Howard said she asked to come in and strip for them. Howard said he wondered why she was doing it now and she said she's going back into stripping. Howard said he wants to help her out so he's going to have Ronnie in to give her some tips. Howard said he saw Ronnie on Limitless and he was completely cut out of it. Howard said they just used him after the credits. Ronnie said it was the weirdest thing. He said they told him that part of the show was going to be for the team for the next season. He said the part where they raided the pill factory was just a split second. Howard said they used him to get publicity for the show. Howard said they might be desperate when they ask him to be on the show. Howard said he's not sure why Ronnie looked like a stroke victim on the show. Ronnie said that's just the way it came out. Howard said maybe he should have spoken to someone in the FBI. Ronnie said they contacted him the day before he shot.
Shuli said Ronnie mangled the line he had. Howard asked what the line was. Howard played the clip of Ronnie reading his line and he said ''Just lets say'' instead of ''Lets just say.'' Howard said he has to be more subtle. Ronnie said he did 5 or 6 takes and they liked the yelling. Howard said he should have just read the line calmly. Howard said you don't yell about that stuff.
Howard tried to get Ronnie to do the line calmly. Howard said you have to see the clip because Ronnie's mouth is all fucked up. He said they have to celebrate Ronnie with a new dance song. Howard played the EDM song with Ronnie's ''Down on the floor!'' line.
Howard asked if Ronnie is working on the video for this song. Ronnie said not yet. Howard said they will be making one though. Howard said that's some acting.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thought he was great in the show. He said he watched the whole season and he thought it fit right in with the show. He said the crazy part was fitting. Howard said he spoke to the producer who said they had too many viewers and they wanted to weed out some.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who said he thought he was hilarious but he's not sure if he was supposed to be. Mark said that Mundt means loud and obnoxious. Ronnie asked what dictionary that's in. Mark said if you look it up on the Urban Dictionary it's there.
- Nicole Bass Visits. 05/02/16. 8:35am
Howard said he has a panel in the studio to help Nicole Bass out. Howard said they have Ronnie there and he has been to a lot of strip clubs. Ronnie said he gave her advice on her first strip club. Howard said she hasn't been doing it since. Howard said JD is also sitting in. Howard said that he once blew his entire tax return at a strip club. Ronnie said he was there that day. Howard said Richard Christy is in and so is Shuli. Shuli said he was at her first strip club thing and he hasn't been back since.
Richard said that JD's cock is hard. He even grabbed at it to check it. Richard said he's hard. JD said he's not. He said he's being an asshole.
Howard asked if it's true that he went to the ballet with his girlfriend last week. JD said yes. Howard asked how boring it was. JD said it wasn't the most exciting thing. Howard said Beth knows not to bring him to something like that. JD said she wanted him to go and it's not something they'll do regularly. Howard said he hopes he got blown afterward. JD said he's not going to talk about that. Howard asked if he liked it. JD said it was okay. Howard asked if Ronnie would ever go. Ronnie said no.
Gary said Ronnie went to see Cinderella on Broadway. Ronnie said Stephanie wanted to see it so they went. He said they sat right up front. He said it was for her birthday. Shuli said that it must have looked like a grandfather bringing his granddaughter out to see the show. Ronnie said he has had people say that it looks like he's out with his daughter. He said they don't get it much anymore. He said she was only 24 when they started dating. He said she's 33 today. He said now she's not walking good because she had an operation. He said it's time to fucking go. He said happy birthday to his lovely girlfriend. Howard said she's his fiancee now. Ronnie said nothing has changed though. Howard asked if she will ever get too old for him. Ronnie said no at first but then said that it could happen.
Shuli said they drove to a show once and Stephanie wanted to do her makeup and Ronnie flipped out on her saying she should have done it during the drive. He said he rules with an iron fist. Howard said Ronnie might have been right in that situation. Howard did his Ronnie impression for a short time.
Howard said they have to get Nicole in there. JD said she looks like Fonzie. Ronnie said he wants to start off. He said that dress will never do. He said no fucking way. Richard said the boots are super sexy. Howard said everyone has to shut up for a minute.
Howard asked Nicole why she's wearing Herman Munster boots. Nicole said it takes a few days to get shoes in her size. She wears a size 14. She said she has a great ''footish fetish'' foot.
Howard asked Nicole about Chyna the WWE wrestler who died. Howard asked if she was friends with her. Nicole said Chyna was a cunt. Howard asked why that is. Nicole said they were pitted against each other and they were supposed to fight. She said that when she started Chyna had copied her outfit. She said that she used the whole leather dominatrix outfit that she was wearing. Fred did his Herman Munster impression of Nicole talking about that. He said she stole her beard and stubble groomer. Fred said she stole her jock strap.
Nicole said that Chyna was on top of the world in the WWF and she was on top of the world in the independent wrestling. Nicole said that she was glad she stole the whole leather thing. Howard said this is like the worst tribute ever. Richard said that he's glad she didn't know Prince.
Howard asked who had a bigger clit, her or Chyna. Nicole said Chyna did. Howard said he thought she was going to show them her vagina today. Nicole said she never said that. She said she showed it to Howard and he doesn't remember it. She said that he pointed the microphone at it like it was going to speak. Shuli told her to rein it in. He said he told her before the show that he was going to do that when she rambles.
Howard asked Nicole about Robin seeing her vagina years ago. Nicole said she was so set up. She said Robin said she didn't know what she saw and it was so set up. Howard asked if maybe her pussy lips are engorged. She said that she doesn't deny having a big clit.
Benjy said he wants to see it and describe it. He said he doesn't want her to be made fun of. Nicole said she's not showing it to anyone but Robin.
Nicole said a few more words about Chyna and said that she admires what she did. Shuli had to tell her to focus again. Howard asked if she has a job at a strip club that she wants to promote. Nicole said she does not. She is looking to remarket herself into the industry. Nicole said she's getting back into it after the death of her husband. Howard said he thinks she looks better with a little less muscle. Ronnie said that it's not going to work if she bulks up again. Howard said he thinks that it looks better with less muscle.
Howard asked what she weighs now. She said she's 215 or 220. Howard had some clips from some appearances she made in the past. Howard played some fake intros they had created for her.
Shuli asked if she would do a fully nude booking. Nicole said she is not going bottomless. She said what she can bring to the industry is her clientele. She said they're men who admire women bodybuilders. Howard asked how old she is now. Nicole said she's 51. Howard asked if she has a boyfriend. She said no. She said she had one but now she has an order of protection. She said that he beat the crap out of her. She said she got pretty beat up. Howard asked what led to the fight. She said his mother is a lunatic. She started to tell a story but never got through it.
Howard asked Nicole if she still gets wet. Nicole said she's miss Niagara Falls. Howard asked if her clit can get in a guy's ass. She said no. Howard asked if she likes guys going down on her. She said she likes both.
Shuli said that Nicole almost got thrown out of a hotel for having sex so loud with her boyfriend. Robin asked what that orgasm sounds like. Fred did his Herman Munster banging his feet sound.
Howard asked if men think she has a penis and then they're disappointed when she doesn't. Nicole said that the guys she dates like that she has a big clit.
Howard asked if Nicole wants to dance for them. Nicole said she's all sweaty. Shuli said he saw her strip and she was so sweaty she looked like she had just stepped out of a pool. Howard asked why she's sweating so much. Nicole said she's sweating now. Nicole said that was her first appearance and she was really nervous. Howard played a couple of announcements that could have been made for her that day.
Howard said Nicole is very muscular. He asked what she wants to dance to. Fred played some ''Dude Looks Like a Lady'' for her. Nicole wanted something else. Fred played another song. Ronnie said he thinks that she could fit in at some strip clubs.
Nicole said she has compared her clit to other's at strip clubs. Howard said that Robin had to have seen something strange down there. Nicole said it wasn't strange. Fred did his Herman Munster voice and said that she hides her clit behind her balls. Howard said he thinks Robin may need to see it again. Robin said she just got over the last time. She's not going to do it again.
Howard had Fred play some music for Nicole. Fred played ''Who Let the Dogs Out'' and everyone cracked up. Howard told Nicole to get into it. Nicole asked to her ''I'm Too Sexy'' for her. Fred did that and Nicole danced for the guys. They all laughed. Ronnie was cracking up. Ronnie said he was laughing at the music.
Richard was gagging at something. Howard said he's going to vomit. Howard told him to calm down. Nicole said now it's like alright guys. Fred was singing as Nicole. Howard told Robin to talk to her as a woman. Robin said she has to get internal and forget everyone and just do her thing. Nicole asked how she's going to get out of that dress. Ronnie said that is the worst dress.
Nicole was stripping down and Richard was close to vomiting. Fred played a clip from the Hindenberg crash. There was a lot going on in there. Everyone was talking over each other. Richard was puking. Howard told Nicole to keep dancing but then said they were done. Howard said Ronnie was giving Nicole a hand job.
Howard told Nicole to get back up there. Howard said she's in some shape. Howard said look at those boobs. Howard said Ronnie got the lap dance. Howard said Richard threw up.
Ronnie said that her stocking was wrong. He said he doesn't get that. He said she has to get some sexy shit. He said she needs some lingerie stuff.
Howard asked JD why he ran out of the room. JD said he didn't want her near him. He said she has bruises on her thigh. Richard said he's never seen anyone run so fast.
Howard said Richard had a violent reaction. Richard apologized for that. He said that there were some bruises and stuff. Nicole said she has scars from what happened to her. Howard said think about how thin JD would be if she chased him around for 15 minutes.
Shuli said he thinks there's a market out there for her. He said a lot of dudes came out to see her at that first appearance. Ronnie said she could be big. He said she has to do small towns in the mountains. He said not in New York City though. He said they won't hire her there. Ronnie said she'd fit right in out in the mountains though. Nicole said she knows she's not in good shape right now.
Howard asked how to get in touch with her. Nicole said Danny at CenterfoldStrips is taking care of her. She said that she doesn't just do strip clubs. She said she's doing other appearances too. She said she used to do bachelor parties and stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who was playing puking sounds and saying he was sick from hearing that dance. Nicole said the market she hits is the bodybuilding market. She said it's the fetish industry. She said they want to see her in private. Howard said he just noticed her nipples are pierced. He didn't see that earlier. He said there's a lot going on there. Shuli said one tit is in New Jersey and one is in New York too.
Howard said they have Chyna on the phone. Howard took the call from the guys in the back who were playing clips of Chyna on the show.
Howard said Nicole shaved down for the appearance. Nicole said she did. Howard said call Danny over at CenterfoldStrips. Ronnie said he used to bring girls in for them back at K-Rock. He said they've known him for a long time.
Nicole said she does foot fetish stuff and other things too. Howard said he got a note saying she brought a stylist with her up there. Howard asked what she did. Nicole said she curled her hair. Howard asked if she did her make up too. Nicole said she did.
Richard said Nicole used to do phone sex too. Howard said if you want to book Nicole get in touch with Danny from CenterfoldStrips.
Howard took a call from a person calling herself Denise who was actually Sal in the back talking about what Nicole has taught her. Then Nicole started coughing over him. Nicole said she had pneumonia. Howard said she probably still has it. Howard asked why someone in the health industry has something like that.
Ronnie said that he likes her standing there with her tits out. He was cracking up. Howard said Ronnie likes her. Ronnie was laughing and saying that's hot. Howard said she has her tits out. Nicole said she was evicted from her apartment and she didn't get her stuff back. Howard said he'd rather not get into all of that.
Howard said he wants to wish her great success with her strip career. Nicole said it's not a strip career. Howard said whatever it is. Shuli told her to rein it in again. Howard said he likes the new look and said she has nice hips. He said her feet are sexy.
Howard said that Nicole is putting it all out there. Howard said she's a fighter. Fred did his Herman Munster voice again. Nicole said Fred is the only one she's ever had a crush on who is on the show. Howard asked JD if he would fuck her or Caitlyn Jenner. JD said that's a tough one but went with Caitlyn. Howard thanked Nicole for coming in and wrapped up with her. Howard went to break a short time later. They played a couple of bits before going to break.
- Audio Clips, Phone Calls And More. 05/02/16. 9:35am
After the break Howard came right back and said Mariann asked how he felt about Kelly Ripa. He said he talked about it enough but he sees this guy Stephen Colbert and how CBS replaced his executive producer. Howard said this stuff goes on all the time. Howard said management is always going to fuck with you. He said that Colbert shows up every day though. Robin said you can't let emotions affect you.
Howard said today is Jeff the Drunk's birthday. Howard played a clip of Jeff coughing to the tune of Happy Birthday. Robin said she thinks that he's 50. Howard asked if he's 49 or 50. Howard said the guys say 49. Howard said Jeff is 49. Howard said he'll play this song on his 50th. He played the coughing song again.
Howard said Sour Shoes called them as Artie commenting on Kelly and Michael. Howard played the clip of Sour doing that impression and talking about how hot Kelly looks. He did his Gary impression helping Artie out with a name while he was talking about Kelly Ripa. Then he breaks into his Blue Iris impression at the end. Howard said that's something else.
Robin asked if Howard watched Michael and Kelly together when she came back. Howard said he did. He said it was very uncomfortable. Howard said he couldn't broadcast like that. He said it would kill him. He said they keep it light on the show.
Howard said Richard went to Kansas City to see his parents and a baby was on the plane screaming the whole time. Howard played the clip of this kid screaming constantly. Howard said that was the whole flight. Howard asked if you can imagine. Howard asked what the trouble could be. Robin asked what the parents look like. Howard said it could be the ears clogged or a wet diaper. Howard said just stay home or use the car. Howard said no man can take that sound. He said women have a higher tolerance to it.
Howard asked Robin what she thought of this Larry Wilmore saying the N-word to the president. Robin said it seems like they could find something else to do. Robin said she hasn't heard it. She said she heard that it wasn't funny. Howard had a clip of Larry Wilmore who took over for Stephen Colbert on Comedy Central. Robin said Howard tried to warn Colbert that this was going to be tough. Howard said he does show up for work though. Howard said that's his point. He said everyone gets fucked with.
Howard played the Larry Wilmore clip and Larry told Obama ''You did it my nigga!'' Howard said he doesn't think he should do that in front of the President. He said that's some tricky stuff. Howard said he's not sure even black people should be using it. Howard said Mel Gibson loved it though.
Howard took vote on whether or not she should take a call from Bobo. They voted yes. Howard took the call and Bobo said he loves hearing the stories after vacation. He said listening to the 20 years of Sal was great. He said he's so glad he hired Sal and Richard. Howard asked the guys if they wanted a re-vote. They all voted no to the call this time. Howard played a song parody about Bobo and said that maybe he has something to say. Bobo kept talking about the Sal special. Bobo said everyone loved it. Howard asked if it's still a no from everyone. Robin, Fred and Benjy all voted no again. Howard played another Bobo song parody.
Bobo said he's got to go to his green colored question. He said it means it's a good one and Howard should pick up on it. He tried to use the word unequivocally not. Howard told him to keep using it until he gets it right. Bobo kept trying and got it wrong every time. Howard told him to go ahead. Bobo asked if there is a serious side to Robin. Howard played a song parody about his bad toupee. Bobo said ''Oh god...'' Howard asked how that can be a green question. Howard picked up on Bobo's Toupee and asked how that can be a green question. Bobo's Toupee said that was a shit brown question. He said they're all shitty questions.
Howard said of course there is a serious side to Robin. Bobo asked another question about Captain Dennis but Howard had started to play another song parody about how bad Bobo's calls are.
Howard let Bobo go after that. Bobo said he had one more thing. Bobo's Toupee kept talking over him. Bobo asked where Ralph is. Bobo's Toupee said no one gives a shit. Bobo said Robin didn't even answer. Robin said no one cares. Bobo said maybe people want to know what's going on with Captain Dennis. Howard played another song parody.
Howard said Bobo had a statement and two shitty questions. Howard said this is horrible. Howard said he's had better days. Bobo said he has. Howard said he has to play Shuli's interview with Bobo where he says he was almost hospitalized last summer when he was banned. Howard played a clip of Bobo talking about how he had a psychiatric evaluations on him and he was told he had to cut down on the show and he was too obsessed with the show. Shuli asked if it had anything to do with him moving to Florida. Bobo said it did and it had a lot to do with the ''band''. Howard said he was banned, he's not in a band. Bobo was talking to Shuli about how he has this passion for the show and he thinks of it as his second family and the psychiatrist looked at him funny. Howard let Bobo go after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to kill himself when he hears a Bobo call. the guy said he saw a band do a Prince tribute and a Michael Jackson tribute. He asked Howard which one he thinks is better. Howard said Prince for sure. Howard said Prince was cooler and wrote better songs. Howard said Prince could play guitar and dance better than Michael Jackson. Howard said he could look femme but still be cool doing it. Howard said there's nothing to compare Michael Jackson to Prince. Robin said the Thriller album. Howard said no one was better than Prince. Robin said Michael fronted a band at 5 years old.
Howard said speaking of singers Carly Fiorina is not one. Howard said Ted Cruz named her his running mate for something he's not even running for. Howard said she stared singing to Ted's daughters at some event. Howard played the clip of her singing to the girls. Howard said he felt so bad for those girls. Howard said Carly is trying to come off as likeable but it just came off really creepy. Howard said he knew a kid who was really unpopular and the mother would try to sell her kids to them by singing about her two sons. Howard said he was so creeped out by that. Howard said the sales pitch didn't work out. Howard said she came up with a jingle for her kids. He said it was so creepy.
Howard played the Carly Fiorina clip again. Howard said if you play it backwards he guarantees it's satanic. Howard played a clip of the song being played backwards with a message in it. Howard played another clip where they used it as a creepy phone call in a horror movie.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Bobo sounds like Dice's mentally challenged brother on his TV show. Howard said he saw the premiere episode and it was very good. Howard said Dice was always a good actor. He said the show is good. Howard said that people like to know his opinion so there it is.
Howard said Scott Weiland went solo and he put out a song called Barbarella and he was listening to it. Howard said he thought it was a cool song. Howard said it's a bummer that all of these guys are dying. Howard said he liked the tribute David Byrne did for Bowie at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame thing. Howard said he did a Bowie song and it as really good. Howard said the guy can still sing and he's no spring chicken. Howard said he has all grey hair now. Howard said he looks like Fred.
Fred played Scott Weiland singing that Barbarella song on their show. Howard asked Fred to play the studio version of it. He was annoyed by the banging on the desk sound. Fred played the song and the drum track was just as annoying as the desk banging. Howard said he loves that song.
Robin said the Goo Goo Dolls put out a new album and their single is great. Howard said he's not aware of the song. Robin said she heard it on The Pulse this weekend. Howard asked what channel that is. Robin said it's like 14 or 15. Howard said he likes that they have so many channels there.
- Zappa Family Feud And Chris Stapleton. 05/02/16. 10:00am
Howard said he read that the Zappa kids are fighting. Howard said he's in touch with Ahmet but there's Dweezil, Moon Unit and someone else. Howard said Gale Zappa died and the kids are fighting over it. Howard said Dweezil was playing under ''Zappa plays Zappa'' and the estate had to be paid for that. Howard said that caused a big rift and now Ahmet and Dweezil aren't talking anymore. Howard said he thinks that Frank would be upset about that. Gary said that Ahmet will be on the Wrap Up Show on Thursday.
Howard said that frank would be rolling in his grave over this. Gary came in with some more information about the story. He said that Ahmet and Diva Zappa are running the estate. Howard said he hates that they're not getting along. Gary said he thinks frank would be upset too. Howard said Frank speaks to him at night like God speaks to Jerry Fallwell and those guys.
Howard said he likes this country guy Chris Stapleton. Howard said he's good. He said he doesn't want to call himself a fan. He said that when he sees these country guys he doesn't put their music on. Howard said he might have to play this guy's stuff. Howard said his album won the best Country Grammy. Fred said Howard might like this one. He said he might not like all of it but 50 percent he might like. Howard said he did a great Prince tribute. Howard said he still thinks Adam Levine's tribute is the best. Fred played some of Chris Stapleton singing some Prince ''Nothing Compares 2 U''.
Robin asked about the Saturday Night Live tribute to Prince. Howard said he never performed any hits on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he wouldn't way it was a great tribute. Howard said Jimmy Fallon told a funny story about Prince on his show. Howard said Prince was going to come on his show and Prince got in touch with the guy from the Roots and told him to meet him at Susan Sarandon's ping pong club. Howard said Questlove told Prince that Jimmy's wife was having a baby that day so he can't go. Jimmy ended up going the next night and played ping pong with Prince. He said Jimmy tells this story about going to play and Prince is behind a curtain and Prince says ''Lets do this.'' Prince was kicking his ass because Jimmy doesn't know how to play. Howard said on the last shot the ball nicks the table and Jimmy goes and tries to pick the ball up and Prince is gone. Howard said it's such a great story. He said that guy could play his ass off. He said he was just so good. Howard said even with all of those dick moves. Howard said he had no ability to edit out the crap from the good stuff but the good stuff was so good it didn't matter.
Gary came in and said that Prince must have been really into ping pong because he read that he played against Michael Jackson once too. Howard said he played against a kid when he was younger and he jumped up to hit the ball and his head went through the basement ceiling. Howard went to break after that.
- More Calls. 05/02/16. 10:20am
After the break Howard came right back and said that the best song from Prince was ''Partyman'' from the Batman soundtrack. Howard said they never play that song. Howard asked Fred to put that on. He heard the intro and said he'd never heard that before. Howard said Benjy is shaking his tits to the song.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she loves Prince but please tell people to stop with the purple balloons. Howard said he's with her on that. Howard said he hates balloons. Howard said the balloons should be outlawed. Howard said they end up getting into the wildlife and killing them. Howard and the caller talked about how Mylar doesn't degrade. It lasts forever. Howard let the Partyman song play a little bit. Howard said he should have been on their show.
The caller said she got to meet Prince years ago. She said she knew the security guard and he came walking into the room with little white booties and pajamas on. Howard asked if he was gay. Robin said she's only heard stories about him being with women. Howard asked if the caller had sex with him. She said she did not. She said she was in his fan club and he was one of the first musicians to have a web site and it cost you $300 and you'd get into private performances with like 75 people.
Howard asked if he can go now. The caller said she had one more question. She asked if he lets the cats in the room with him when he paints. Howard said sometimes but then he kicks them out because they can annoy him. Howard said they all come piling in. Howard said he needs some alone time from the cats. The caller started to talk about cats and Howard said he had enough of her and hung up on her. Howard said she needs a hobby.
Howard said she was ruining Prince for him. Howard said he really doesn't know this version of Partyman. Howard said he probably has 75 other versions of the song. Robin wondered who is going to be in charge of his music. Howard said the sister probably. Robin said they say there's a secret Prince love child so maybe not.
- Remembering Chyna. 05/02/16. 10:25am
Howard said it's time for some news. Fred played Robin into it with a song parody from Daniel Mendelson but Howard didn't like that one. They played a Little Mikey song instead.
Robin said that Howard still hasn't done a tribute to Chyna yet. Howard said she came on their show many times. Howard said after the WWF she did reality TV and then got into porn after that. Howard said she had to change her name and battled drug abuse for years. Howard said she was on a graduate of the University of Tampa. Howard said she had many jobs over the years too. Howard read about some of those things. Howard said her real name was Joanie Laurer. Howard said she was 5'10'' and weighed 180 pounds. She could bench 350 pounds. Howard said she called herself the 9th wonder of the world and Nicole Bass claims she stole that from her.
Howard said that they met her in 1999 when she was on the show promoting her Playboy layout. Howard played a clip from the show when she was on back then. Howard said she came in very excited once and claimed the guy who was with her was her brother and they wrote a song together. Howard said she performed the song ''Holiday'' together and it became very popular on the show. Howard played some of that performance of ''Holiday'' on the show. Howard said he heard that and all he could think was the guitar was out of tune or she was out of tune. Howard said there seemed to be no preparation there. Robin said it was pretty shocking.
Howard said Chyna came in on her next appearance and she laughed about that song ''Holiday.'' Howard played some audio of her laughing at that performance. Chyna was cracking up laughing over that whole thing.
Howard said she was a great guest. Howard played another clip of Chyna talking about bursting an implant while wrestling.
Howard said she was on reality TV on The Surreal Life and on Celebrity Rehab. Howard said she did some acting in some straight to DVD stuff. Howard said she claimed that Anna Nicole Smith came on to her in one interview. Howard played some of that interview.
Howard said then Chyna got into porn. Howard said she talked about getting her asshole licked in one interview. Howard played some of that interview too. Howard said they used that interview to do the opposite of masturbation.
Howard said Chyna had a job of teaching English to Chinese people. Howard said they used some of that to make a classic phony phone call. Howard played the phony phone call. Howard said she was a great guest.
Howard said they tried to tell Gary the Conqueror that Chyna died. Howard played the call that Sal made to Gary telling him about it. Gary thought the whole country of China died. Gary was asking where his money is. Howard said he must be hanging out with Jackie Martling if he's asking for money.
Howard said they are taking Chyna's brain to study it for the effects of concussions. Howard said the family is giving her brain to science. He said he's not making a joke either. Howard said he's going to do that with Benjy. He said he has to know what's going on there. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
- Robin's News. 05/02/16. 10:40am
After Howard did his live commercial read he had Robin get to her news. Robin started her news with a story about Kelly and Michael taking home a best daytime talk show Emmy over the weekend.
Robin read about a woman who gave birth to kids through two different wombs. Robin said she had two uteruses. Robin said she is 31 years old and she gave birth to two kids. Robin said when she was about 14 she was told she had two of everything down there. Howard said Benjy has 3 assholes. Robin said that the woman has two of everything and she must have gotten both pregnant. Howard asked if this has ever happened before. Robin said it must be a rare situation. Howard said he has a hard time satisfying just one vagina. He said two would be too much. Howard said he barely has one penis.
Robin read about Jared Fogle who is writing to some old girlfriends. Robin said he has a sentencing appeal coming up and he is writing to old girlfriends asking them for pictures and asking them to return to be in his life. Howard said that guy is hornier than Ronnie. Howard said you'd think being in jail would slow him down. Howard said that guy lost weight eating Subway and he made millions off of that. Howard said he's a douche bag. Howard said he had it made. Howard asked how old this guy is. Robin said he must be about 50. Howard said he's on fire with that penis of his. Robin said Jared is blaming the guy who ran his foundation for his problems. Robin said he's not really showing any remorse for what he did.
Robin read about ISIS publishing a list of New Yorkers that they're targeting. Robin said that Howard could be on that list. Robin said they're just naming New Yorkers. Robin said they have a list with over 3000 names on it. Howard said Gary and Sal aren't on that list because they look like terrorists.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Howard has read up on Gary Johnson at all because he's for abortion and for people having guns. The caller said he's seeking the Libertarian nomination. Howard said they're for smaller government but then they're upset when the roads don't get fixed and things like that. Howard said it seems like a waste when you vote for someone like that. He said he'd be one of his 5 votes. Howard said lets not waste time on this. He let the caller go and did a live commercial read.
Robin read a story about the present's daughter being accepted at Harvard. Robin said she's delaying it until after her father is done in the White House. Howard said he used to think ''don't waste time'' but he thinks Harvard encourages this life experience thing. Howard said he's sure her dad will have her doing something there. Robin said it's probably great to be at the White House meeting people. Howard said he should start charging her rent. Howard said he bets she's a go getter and she'll be doing something instead of sitting around listening to pieces of vinyl. Howard said she has to work. He said she can't just sit around. Gary asked Howard how he feels about kids traveling for a year. Howard said he's against that. He said it's a waste of time. Howard said when you're in your 20s you should be building to be an expert at something. He said you should use that youthful energy to learn something. Howard said don't travel. Howard said just get to work and forget the gap year. Howard said Memet traveled for a year and learned nothing. He said he should have been there learning something. Howard said Benjy did the same thing. Benjy said he had several gap years. Gary said he's dealing with this now and parents think this is a year for their kids to mature. Howard said they should go to summer camp during the high school years to do that. Howard said college is supposed to be your 4 gap years.
Robin read a story about a dad who wanted to discipline his son and made a video about what he's going to do. Robin had the clip for Howard to play. In the clip the guy said that his son walked out of class and he didn't call him. He said it's time for discipline. They ended up boxing. The kid ends up crying as the dad is beating the shit out of him. Howard said that's awful. Howard asked if the authorities took the kid away. Robin said they did not. Gary said he just read the kid has been taken out of the house by social services. He's only 17. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin had Howard play the new Goo Goo Dolls song she was talking about earlier in the show. Howard played some of the song he had but it wasn't the one Robin was thinking of. Robin had Howard play another one. Robin said that's not it either. Robin had Howard play another song. Robin said that's it. It was ''So Alive.'' Robin said she loves that. Robin said he whole album drops on May 6. Howard said they know those guys so he's glad to hear they made a good song.
Robin read about Prince dying and having no known will. Howard said he probably had an idea of where he wanted his estate to go and now it's up in the air. Robin said that his sister Tika Nelson asked the court to step in. Robin said he had no known children or parents who could inherit it. Robin said she heard about a secret love child who could get it though. That led to Howard and Fred talking about what a great guitarist Prince was.
Robin read a story about a woman who is suing Starbucks for $5 million because they put so much ice in their coffee. Howard said if you're that bothered by it then just don't go there.
Howard said he heard Robin knocked over the coffee maker in the kitchen there. Robin said she knew that it was messed up. Robin said she didn't want coffee. She wanted a can of seltzer. Howard said they had police tape up. Robin said they did not. Ronnie said it was roped off. Howard said they have a surveillance camera in there. Ronnie said there's a sign saying the kitchen is closed and they blocked off the door. Robin said she just walked up and there was a coffee thing in the middle. Ronnie said he was standing there talking to Becca and then he hears this crash. He said Robin came running in asking if someone could help her. He said the coffee machine was on the floor and coffee was all over the floor. Howard said he wants to see the surveillance footage. He said it was roped off. Gary said even if it wasn't there the lights were off and the sign was up. Ronnie said the coffee machine was up against the door so Robin moved it and tried to get into where the seltzer was. Howard asked if she got that. Robin said yes. Ronnie said she wanted to pick it up. Ronnie said there was no way they were picking it up. Howard said she got an email telling her not to go in there.
Howard said he wants to see the surveillance. Howard checked it out and you can see the way they blocked it off. Robin insisted it wasn't there. Robin said she wouldn't have walked under that. She said she got the email and she knew not to be in there. Howard said there are some guys with white jackets out there to take her away.
Robin read about Kid Rock having a problem at his estate. Robin said his assistant crashed an ATV and he was killed. Robin said Kid Rock and his girlfriend found the body and made a 911 call. Howard said he would never ride an ATV. Howard played a clip of the 911 operator talking to Kid Rock and Kid Rock is telling her that his Polaris is off the side of his driveway and his assistant appears to be dead. The operator was asking if he was awake or not. Kid Rock and his girlfriend kept telling her that he looked dead.
Robin read a story about Ted Cruz talking about Donald Trump getting the support of Mike Tyson who is a convicted rapist. Robin had audio of Cruz talking about that. Robin had some audio of Bernie Sanders talking about Hillary Clinton and Clinton talking about Sanders.
Robin read a story about Senator Chuck Schumer talking about how electronic billboards can track people on their cell phones. Howard said he likes that. He said track him all you want. Robin had some audio of Schumer talking about that. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.