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-- Monday, December 22, 2014 --

  • The Best Of 2014 - Day 1. 12/22/14. 6:00am
    Howard and the guys are off for a couple of weeks. This week they played a ''Best of 2014'' special. Howard returns live on January 5, 2015 with a new show start time of 7:00am. Here's what they replayed today:

  • Anderson Cooper - March 31, 2014. 12/22/14. 6:00am
    First up today they replayed the Anderson Cooper interview segment. Robin Quivers introduced the segment. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Anderson Cooper Visits. 03/31/14. 8:05am
    After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a radio show where they played audio of a woman singing Amazing Grace in honor of their grandfather, Ronnie Mund, dying. Fred also played Van Halen's ''Jump'' as they were coming back.

    Howard came back and said he had Anderson Cooper coming in next. He said he's anxious to meet him. He said he has a CNN 1 hour documentary he's there to plug. Howard said you see someone on TV for a long time and you get confused when you see them in person. Anderson said that Howard is much thinner than he thought.

    Howard said he was thinking about Anderson today. He said that he knows he took lots of risks doing his thing. Howard said Ronan Farrow is doing a show and he's not doing well. He asked if Anderson is happy about that. Anderson laughed and said no. Howard said he used to risk his life doing his job. He said this kid comes in and he's Mia Farrow's son. He said he doesn't have the work behind him. Anderson said he doesn't know. He said he doesn't know the guy and he's never met him. He said he is smart and he has worked in Afghanistan. Howard said you have to work to get your skill though. Anderson said it does help to be in the field reporting. He said that he is qualified to host a show. He said he hasn't watched it though.

    Howard said he would be pissed if this Ronan Farrow came in and got a job. Howard Anderson why is it that FOX is doing so well and CNN is not. He asked if the days of the advocate are here. Howard said you need to have a point of view now and give it to the audience. Anderson said that in cable news the network with strong opinions do seem to do well. He said they're entertaining. He said CNN has done well when there is news to report on. He said it goes through peaks and valleys.

    Howard asked if Anderson would go to FOX if they asked him to. Anderson said he would not. He said he is a fan of their network and some of the people they have on there. He said that CNN is really the only place that will send you to the front line anymore. He said he thinks CNN is about reporting on the things that are happening.

    Howard asked if Jeff Zuker has ever asked him to do something to pump up the network ratings. Anderson said he really hasn't. Howard said they treat him well there so he must want to do the best he can. Anderson said he has been there for 12 years and he worried for years and years. He said he has a worry line on his forehead. He said she used to worry a ton. Howard said he grew up in a family that's got money. Anderson said that's not true. He said his mother did inherit a lot of money but it's not as much as they say. Howard said he'd think that he wouldn't worry if he grew up around that money. Anderson said that he got obsessed when he was about 10 when there was the threat of a financial collapse. He said he got into child modeling. Howard said no one ever offered him that job. He said he didn't even know it existed.

    Howard asked Anderson about what his mother thought about that. He said she thought it was odd but she told him to go do it if he wanted. He said that he was afraid of the money situation and he wanted to make some of his own. He said he went out on his own and did it. He said he worked for Ralph Lauren and he was a fit model. He said they would fit clothes to him. He said he did ads for Macys and things like that. He said he was getting $75 an hour as a 10 year old kid. Anderson said that he did have a guy offer him money to have sex. He said he just stopped doing the whole thing. He said he was 13 at the time. He said he wishes he remembered his name. He said he'd like to tell people. Howard asked how much money it was. Anderson said it was $2,500. He said he felt that was kind of low. Howard said he was gay at the time though. Anderson said he was but he wasn't thinking about having sex with anyone at that age. Anderson said he must have seen that he didn't have a parent with him at the time. Howard said he was done with modeling after that. Anderson said he was but he had saved some money.

    Howard asked Anderson about going to Yale and if the world is his oyster. Anderson asked what that means. Howard said that you are smart and you did well on your SATs. Anderson said there were some smart people there but also some people who weren't so smart.

    Howard said Anderson tried to get a job at ABC after he graduated and they turned him away. He was a Yale graduate. Anderson said that Diane Sawyer was there and she had done a story about his mom. He said that they strung him along for about 6 months. He said they were nice about it but it's a tough business to break into.

    Howard said after Regis left Kelly had him on as a co-host. Howard said he was rumored to be the replacement for Regis. Howard asked what happened there. Anderson said that he got another job in the mean time. He said that he loves Kelly though and she told him to say hi to Howard and give him a kiss. He said he's not sure he wanted to do that. Howard said he's too uptight.

    Anderson said his brother committed suicide when he was in college and he ended up doing a bunch of different jobs. Howard said that was plastered all over the news when his brother killed himself. Anderson said he was close to his brother. He said that it makes you re think everything about that person. He said he knew he was having some issues before he did it but he didn't know the details. He said he didn't deal with it when he found out he was in therapy. Howard said it must make you think about what was going on with him. Anderson said it was inconceivable to him that he'd do that. Howard said you think that he has everything. Anderson said there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't think about his death. He said that they say that you're more likely to kill yourself if you have a family member that did it. Howard said it's a very selfish thing to do. Anderson said that he doesn't think his brother was consciously thinking at the time. He said that he did it in front of his mom and he was disoriented at the time. He said his mother asked if he was okay and then he ran up to his room on the second floor and she ran after him. He jumped off a ledge. He said there was hesitation there but then he jumped.

    Howard asked if he was on drugs. Anderson said he wasn't. He said that he was depressed and scared about a lot of stuff. Howard said it sounds like a reaction to a medication or something. Anderson said they thought that it could be something like his asthma medication or something. He said that suicide leaves you wondering. He said that's what it does to people.

    Anderson said he put himself in dangerous situations after that. He said he was really interested in surviving though. He said that you wonder why you survive and your brother didn't.

    Howard asked if he video taped himself over there. Anderson said he made a fake press pass and snuck into Burma and did some reports. Howard asked if he had a death wish. Anderson said he was in pain and he wanted to be around other people who were in pain. He said he wanted to be around people who had life and death as a real issue. He said he was dealing with that every day. He said his mom was very cool about it. He said she could have stopped him and asked him not to go.

    Howard said his early childhood had to be great with famous people being around. Anderson said it was. He said he met Charlie Chaplin. He said his dad was still alive at the time. He said he came back to get an Academy Award and his parents threw a party for him. He was an old man by that time though. He said Truman Capote was there at the house a lot. He said he was kind of gross though. He said he didn't really like him. Howard said he used to like seeing him on TV.

    Anderson said that Gordon Parks was also around the house. Howard said he must have been expected to behave around the house. Anderson said they were right there at the regular table. He said there was no kid's table. He said he would rather be at that table now when he's around Kelly Ripa's kids.

    Howard asked if he lived a closeted life for a long time. Anderson said he knew from the time he was 5 that he was gay. He said they had gay friends over at the house all the time and it wasn't a big issue. He said he came out in high school to his friends. He said that there were some years that you wish it would be easier but it was totally natural and totally right. Howard asked if he ever worried in his professional life that someone would find out. Anderson said that he was traveling to dangerous places by himself where it was illegal to be gay. He said he didn't want that to get him killed. He said he felt he had enough baggage being his mom's son and he didn't want to be known as a gay reporter. He said he never talked about his mom until much later in his career.

    Howard asked if it sucks having a famous mom. Anderson said it really doesn't. He said that his mom isn't about putting pressure on him to do anything. He said that if he was making Macrame couches she'd be fine with that.

    Howard asked Anderson about how he did his reporting back in the day when he was alone. Anderson said he would record himself. He said he would have to hire kids in Burma to stand guard for him. He said he'd ask them to put down their AK-47 to help him out once in a while.

    Howard asked if he studied journalism in school. Anderson said he didn't. He said he watched a lot of TV. He said he just did his reports like a regular guy.

    Howard asked if he carried a gun himself. Anderson said he didn't. Howard asked who picked up on him once Channel 1 picked up his reports. Anderson said he went to Somalia and did some more reporting and he sent them more tapes. He said he guaranteed him 10 stories and they made a deal with him. He said that was back in 1992. He said there were people dying from famine over there and he did reports on that and other things and they had a big impact on channel 1.

    Howard said Anderson saved some kid and fed him out in the field. Anderson said that was a long story. He said someone was trying to disperse a crowed and they hit a kid on the head with a block. He said he ran over to take some video but then realized it was a bad idea and grabbed the kid and brought him back with him instead. Howard said that's a hero. Anderson didn't think it was. Howard insisted it was.

    Howard asked when Anderson went grey. Anderson said it happened early on but he had no desire to dye it. He said he doesn't do the spa thing. Howard said his wife wants him to do that kind of thing but it's not for him.

    Howard said there was a rumor that Anderson was going to replace Matt Lauer or something. Anderson said he did talk to someone there but there was never an offer. He said that he really likes CNN. He said that they will let him to go Ukraine for a week and no one else is going to do that.

    Howard asked Anderson if he has a boyfriend. Anderson said he has a partner he's had for about 5 years. Howard asked if he is in love. Anderson said of course he is. Howard asked if he goes to these dangerous places with him. Anderson said he does not. Howard asked why he still goes to these places. Anderson said why not. He said that's his job.

    Howard asked Anderson about taking on the syndicated show ''Anderson Live'' and if that was horrible for him. Anderson said it wasn't. He said that it was fine. Howard asked if he would host a game show. Anderson said he would host Jeopardy because he loves that show. Anderson said he likes new experiences. He said as long as you're not pretending then it's fine. He said that he wouldn't want to do The Mole again but it was an interesting learning experience.

    Howard asked what The Mole was. Anderson said it was very confusing. He tried to give Howard a short explanation and it was confusing. Howard asked about the show he did in syndication. Anderson said that lasted 2 years. He said he wishes it had gone on longer. Howard said it could have made him a lot of money. Anderson said he thinks he does alright. Anderson said there is no inheritance. Robin said that doesn't mean that someone might not leave it for him. Howard asked what he will do if she does. Anderson said his mother has made it clear to him that it's not happening. Howard said his mom is someone who inherited money and did incredibly well. Anderson said there aren't a lot of people who have done that. He said if he had that pot of gold waiting for him he wouldn't have been as motivated to do the things he has. Howard asked what his mother is going to do with the money. Anderson said he has no idea. Howard said he finds that crazy. He said that he's her son and she should leave it to him. Anderson said his mom doesn't like it that she got the money. He said she made more in her personal life than she inherited. He said she did the designer jeans thing and was the first one to do it. Howard said he believes that she'll leave him money.

    Howard said Donald Trump inherited money and did well. Anderson said that there are a few people you can name who did well. He said he grew up with people who inherited a lot of money and never did anything with it.

    Howard asked if Anderson had a child, would he leave the kid money. Anderson said he would want them working early on and get that sense of responsibility. He said he might leave them some money but he's not sure. Howard said it seems so loving to him to do that.

    Howard said to him it's a risk to do a talk show. He said when the thing starts not working do you worry that it's the end of your career. Anderson said he was doing two shows a day and it was a tough schedule. He said he was working every day of the week. Howard said he could have quit one of the jobs and worked on the syndicated show. Anderson said he was burnt out by the end of it. He said he didn't want to quit anything. He said it was a relief when he got rid of that job.

    Howard asked if Anderson works out. Anderson said he had shoulder surgery so he hasn't worked out a lot. Howard asked if he would do Botox or anything like that. Anderson said he hasn't yet but he doesn't know. Howard asked if he has had a cheek filler. Anderson said he hasn't. He said men in the news business can be old and grey haired but women have to wear makeup and cover every wrinkle. Howard asked how he got the gig on 60 Minutes. Anderson said he grew up watching that show so he loved that he got the job. He said CNN was okay with it too. Howard said CNN must have said to him that he had to calm down and stick with one job. Anderson said that they have had other people work more than one job there at CNN.

    Howard asked if they pay him well at CNN. Anderson said they do. Howard asked if they pay him well at 60 Minutes. Anderson said they do there too. He said he does 10 stories a year over there. Howard said he has to be there to work. Anderson said he works on weekends and holidays from CNN. He said he's going to do a shoot for 60 Minutes and he has to take a vacation from CNN to do that.

    Howard asked when he has time for his partner. Anderson said he has time for him but not so much for friends. He said he has lost a few friends over the years because of that schedule.

    Howard asked Anderson what he does for research. Anderson said like Sarah Palin he reads all newspapers. He keeps up with the news like that. Robin said that Anderson does all of these reports from places like Somalia and nothing really ever changes. Anderson said he believes there is something important about bearing witness. He said he doesn't want anyone dying without people knowing about it. He said learning people's names and learning something about them is what he's helping people do.

    Howard asked where this Malaysian plane is. Anderson said it's insane. He said this is the craziest thing. He said he's kind of obsessed with the story. Howard asked which gig pays him more. Anderson said CNN is a daily show so that's the one. He said CNN is the big one for him. Howard said he must be getting good money from 60 Minutes. Howard asked if he worked with Ruth Streeter. Anderson said he has worked with her. He said he works with a few people over there.

    Howard asked who the worst person is in TV news right now. Anderson wasn't saying. Anderson said he loves Brian Williams and his daughter too. He said he love Lena Dunham too and asked if Howard has had her on. Howard said he had her at the Birthday show. He said that he hasn't done a sit down yet. Anderson said that would be good. He said he likes Lena but not her tattoos. He said he's obsessed with tattoos. Howard showed him some of the tattoos he has and how simple he's kept them. Howard said there isn't much that he feels he has to put on his body.

    Howard asked if he had a lot of interaction with Piers Morgan over there. Anderson said he would see him in the makeup room sometimes. Howard asked if he was a pain in the ass like they say he was. Anderson said he thinks he got along just fine with the makeup people but he's not sure about the rest of the people there. Anderson said he's worried about his staff and the people there. He said he thinks Piers will be fine though. Anderson said he likes the bit players. He said he sees an old movie and he reads the bit player's names and wonders about what they're doing now. Howard said he is too. He said he wonders about the people who appear in one scene. Anderson said he does too.

    Howard said he wonders about the people in radio too. Howard said he doesn't know what became of a lot of people in the business.

    Howard asked Anderson about working with Kathy Griffin and what that's like. Anderson said that it's a fun evening and it's great working with her. Howard said Kathy has said that she's jealous of his relationship with Cher. Anderson said he has met her a couple of times but that's it. He said he's not friends with her.

    Howard asked Anderson about working with Andy Cohen. Anderson said that Andy is the one who told him to do this show. He said that he is close with Andy. Anderson told Howard he lives in an old firehouse that he renovated. He said that he likes architecture and history and he loves living there. Anderson said it was built in 1905. He said they have a stable in the back for horses because a lot of the engines were driven by horses. He said the firehouse is like 4 stories and about 10,000 square feet. He said it's a one bedroom. He said he doest want guests. Howard said it was $4.3 million. Anderson said that's correct. Howard said it sounds like a valuable piece of real estate. Anderson said that he wanted to save the building and people were afraid he was going to tear it down. He said he was afraid they were going to tear it down so he wanted to save it. He said he returned the building to 1905 so he built a gym to look like it was from 1905. He said he has a lot of old stuff in there and it looks cool. He said he had a party for Andy Cohen for his book there. He said that Andy knows everyone so he had all of his friends there. He said it was like it was for him but it was really Andy's friends. Anderson said that Gayle King asked how he rented the place and he told her that he lives there. Anderson said the place has a tiny kitchen and the stable in the back with a hay loft. Howard asked what it's like having strangers at his house. He said he'd be worried about people stealing stuff. Anderson said he put about a lot of stuff. He said that Wendy Williams was there and he thought she was going to fall off the circular stairway. He said it was crazy.

    Howard said Anderson has a 1 hour documentary coming up soon. Anderson said this is about a woman who lost one of her legs in the Boston bombing. He said she was determined to dance again. Anderson said he told her when she's ready to dance again he'd dance with her. He said she is one of the many examples of how strong the people are there in Boston. He said that it's powerful to go and powerful to hear these stories. He said that she is dancing again.

    Howard asked what it is about 60 Minutes that people like. Anderson said that it's produced well and they're always interesting. He said that even if it's about finance and you don't get it they do it in an interesting way. Howard said he thought it was going to fall apart after Don Hewitt left but they're still doing well.

    Howard asked if Anderson is hit on every 10 minutes. Anderson laughed and said he doesn't know. He said Howard must get hit on all the time too. He said everyone wants that one and a half inches. Howard asked if he ever talks about his penis size. Anderson said he never does. Howard said he thinks that he's got a big one. Howard said he thinks that most people have a small one and they can't brag about it.

    Howard asked if there will ever be a sex tape with him in it out there. Anderson said no. He said they don't record that. Howard asked what his partner does. Anderson said he owns some bars around the city. Howard asked if he goes to the bars. Anderson said sure. Howard asked if he will marry this guy he's with. Anderson said he doesn't know. Howard asked if he's monogamous. Anderson said he's a traditional guy.

    Howard asked what he eats to stay in shape. Anderson said he eats oatmeal for breakfast. He said he eats some berry thing for lunch. He said you put some bananas and berries in it and it's great. He said it's like a gruel. He said it's like he's in prison. He said for a while he was eating at Boston Market every day. He said he had a turkey meal that was like thanksgiving every day. Anderson said he will eat something every day for 6 months and then get tired of it.

    Howard asked if he has interviewed President Obama. Anderson said he has several times. He said he doesn't get nervous doing it. He said he hates being nervous.

    Howard asked if he can reveal his political stance. Anderson said he doesn't believe in doing that. He said he won't even say who he voted for. He said his job is not to take sides. He said that's old school but he doesn't believe in it.

    Howard asked who he looks up to. Anderson said he looks up to Bob Simon at CBS. He said he does great stories there at 60 Minutes. Anderson said he used to follow him around just to see what he was seeing to tell his story. Anderson said it was fascinating to see.

    Howard asked if it was tough to speak out about Alec Baldwin. Anderson said he sent out like 2 tweets about that. He said he likes Alec and he thinks he's very talented and smart. He said he doesn't want his career to be negatively impacted. He said he loves watching him do his thing. Anderson said he thought what he said when he called them a toxic little queen and then said he wanted to shove his foot up his ass but he'd probably enjoy it. Anderson said he didn't like that part of it and that he denied it being a gay reference.

    Anderson said that he didn't like Alec saying he didn't know the term cock sucker was an anti-gay thing. Howard said he doesn't think about it that way either. He said that he uses it all the time but he's not thinking about it that way. Anderson said he has no beef with Alec and he really isn't worried about him. He said that Alec is still talking about him though.

    Anderson said that he likes to tweet and he will block people if they get really nasty with him. He said he can get caught up in a conversation with someone on Twitter. He said that he will look at their account and read their history and respond about something they've tweeted about.

    Howard said he could talk to him all day but it's 9:18 and he has to end this. Anderson said this flew by. Howard gave Anderson a plug for his ''The Survivor Diaries'' special on CNN on April 8 at 9. Howard said he's on at 8 on CNN every night too. Howard said Anderson is out there risking his life for you. Howard said you can see him in Lower Manhattan fighting fires too. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.


  • Imran Khan - January 8, 2014. 12/22/14. 7:20am
    Next up on today's special they played a segment where they learned that Hanzi's real name was Imran Khan. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Hanzi Calls In. 01/08/14. 6:50am
    Howard took a call from Hanzi and said he loves this kid. He asked how old he is. Hanzi said he's 30. Howard said he thought he was older. Howard said he might have another 60 years to live and his parents might be stuck with him.

    Hanzi asked if he and Beth swapped with Justin and Jennifer. Howard said they did that like 3 times. Howard said he was kidding and there was nothing weird like that. Hanzi said he doesn't believe that. He said he thinks everyone swaps wives. He said he thinks Howard fucked Jennifer Aniston. Howard said maybe he had sex accidentally with her in the pool. He said he was kidding about that too. Howard said he had a really nice time with them down there. He said it was very generous and very nice. Howard said Jennifer is very lovely and Justin is a very nice guy. He said he had a great time. Howard said he loves Jimmy and Courteney too.

    Hanzi asked if he fucked Courteney Cox at some point in his life. Howard said he didn't. He said he felt like he was on Friends while he was down there. He said he was with Jennifer and Courteney.

    Hanzi said that The Godfather is so overrated. He said if you watch it in 2013 for the first time it's so over rated. Howard said he watches it all the time. He said he loves it. Hanzi said there are so many other great movies and TV shows and it's not that great. Howard said it is great. Hanzi said it's too cheesy. Howard said it's not. He said he thinks it holds up. Howard said this is just how he feels.

    Howard said he got a letter from a guy who said he was going to stop listening to the show because he didn't like the music of the Everly brothers. Howard said he finds that funny because it's all subjective. Howard said he loves the Godfather.

    Howard read the letter he got from the guy about the Everly Brothers. Howard read what the guy was saying about his thoughts on the Everly Brothers. The writer pointed out that he knows nothing about music. Howard said the guy is fed up with his stupidity. He said it's such a dumb letter. He said you can't convince someone to love or hate something.

    Hanzi said he was just saying that the Godfather isn't going to be that great for Benjy. Howard said he thinks he will be. He asked Hanzi what he wants to bet. He said he has nothing to bet. Hanzi laughed when Howard asked if he's going to bet his mother's furniture.

    Hanzi said he wants to come to the birthday bash. Howard said he told him how he can come. He has to get a note from his parents. He said he has to come with his parents if he doesn't get the note. Howard said he knows how Hanzi is going to be if he comes alone. Howard said he can't have him there if he's going to go bat shit crazy.

    Hanzi said that they can throw him into a mental hospital if he doesn't like the way he acts. Howard said he doesn't want to have to worry about that. Hanzi was starting to freak out so Howard played the song parody that Daniel Mendelson performed about him. Howard said he's going to be there that night at the party. Howard asked how Hanzi would even get to the party. Hanzi said he can do a bit and fly him out. Howard said he's not going to do that. He said that's like 6 grand he'd have to shell out.

    Howard asked Hanzi why he doesn't just ask his parents if he can come. Hanzi was freaking out more and wasn't able to get a sentence out.

    Howard calmed Hanzi down and told him to just ask his parents to bring him to the party. He said that if he has a chaperone then he can come. Gary asked Hanzi what he was about to say about talking to his parents. Hanzi told him to go to hell and order a toothbrush on Amazon or something.

    Howard asked if Hanzi asked his parents if he can come. Hanzi was trying to tell him something but his phone sounded awful. Howard asked if he has a hard line in his room. Hanzi said he does but he can't call on that line. Howard asked if they can call him back on a regular line. Hanzi said he can.

    Howard told Hanzi to draw a frog on a piece of paper and mind map. Howard told Gary to call him on the other line. He put Hanzi on hold so they could get him on a better phone.

    Gary said he thinks Hanzi has paranoia and he can't talk to his parents. Howard said he thinks his parents are afraid of him. Gary said Hanzi thinks the world is against him and he thinks there are people recording him secretly and things like that. Howard said it would be great to have him at the party and show him to everyone. He said he thinks people would like that.

    Howard said they have to worry about getting their guests comfortable. He said they can't worry about people like Hanzi. He said that they have a major artist coming to the show and it's someone he can't mention. Howard said this artist's management asked what was going on and they had no idea it was that big of a deal.

    Howard had Hanzi back on the phone. Howard said it was so much better. Hanzi said not really. Howard said the phone quality is so much better. Hanzi said he wants to come to the party to fuck Robin. Robin asked how old he's going to be. Howard said he's 30. Robin said she's not sure she can do that.

    Howard told Hanzi to sit down with his parents and ask if they can come with him to the show. Hanzi said he doesn't want to go to the show with his mom. Howard told him that he is kind of child like. Hanzi said he doesn't want to come with his mom. Howard said he doesn't want him there with his mom but he can't take care of him. Hanzi said he doesn't understand this. Howard said he has to worry about him if he's there alone. Howard said he could go crazy. Hanzi said he has watchers everywhere. Howard said he really doesn't. Hanzi said he has people looking into him all the time. He said he's known him since 2006. Howard said he doesn't know what his last name is. He said he'd think it was Schwartz.

    Hanzi said his name is Imran Kahn. Howard asked how he's Hanzi then. Hanzi said that's his nickname. Robin said Imran Khan is a cool Superhero name.

    Hanzi said he wants to work there at Sirius. Howard said a lot of people want a job there. He said he wouldn't be able to fire him because they'd be afraid of him going mental. Hanzi said he wants to go to Wrestlemania this year so he wants to work there. Howard said he has to stop with his bullshit then.

    Howard called Hanzi by his real name and he didn't like that. Howard told Imran that he has to get his shit together if he wants to work somewhere. Hanzi said he doesn't even want to be there anymore. Howard said this is why they can't have him at the birthday show. He said they'd have to worry about him offing himself. Hanzi said he doesn't want to go through this stuff anymore. Howard said he doesn't have to talk to him anymore since he doesn't want to go to the show. Hanzi said Howard is like the Vince McMahon of radio. Howard said he really has to go. He said he wants him at the birthday show but he needs supervision there. He said he has to bring his mom or dad. Hanzi asked if he can bring his brother. Howard said he has to bring his mom or dad. Robin asked how old his brother is. Hanzi said he's 26. Howard guessed 25 and Hanzi said Howard knew.

    Howard asked if his brother lives at home. Hanzi said he does. Howard told him he has to go. He kept calling him Imran. Hanzi said people make money off him all the time and he can't get this thing. Howard said he would love to have him at the party but he can't have him there alone. Howard called him other names like Boron, E-Ron and other names. Howard said that he doesn't oppose him coming to the party but he can't come without a chaperone. Howard said he has to ask his parent's permission. He said that is the final word on that. Howard said he's trying to be responsible. Hanzi was freaking out and then started laughing. Howard said he really has to go. He hung up on Hanzi. He said he loves that kid but he can't keep an eye on him at the party.

    Howard asked Robin if she'd watch him all night. Robin said she wouldn't trust him in New York alone. Howard said he really has to take a break so that's what they did.


  • Donovan - February 5, 2014. 12/22/14. 7:50am
    Next up today they played the Donovan interview segment. Fred Norris introduced it. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Donovan Visits. 02/05/14. 6:55am
    After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a woman using clips of Howard reciting lyrics to a song. We also heard a song parody about JD by Daniel Mendelson. Fred also played The Beatles ''Dear Prudence.'' He also played Ringo Starr's ''Peace and love'' message and Beetlejuice's ''This is Beetle'' song. Fred played another song as they were coming back. This one was Neil Young's ''Mr. Soul.''

    Howard came back and said this song is so good. He said he loves Donovan too. He said this guy had number 1 hit after number 1 hit. Howard said his life is an amazing story. He said the songs he's written are amazing too.

    Howard said when he would sit and listen to Donovan's music it was great. He said he's still there too. He said he's actually aging very well. Howard asked who is older, Donovan or Robert Plant. Donovan said that he didn't stay on the road. He said that's why he looks better. Howard said he broke early in his life. He was only 19 years old. He said by the time he was 24 he was burned out. Howard asked how many number 1 hits he had. Donovan said not as many as you'd think.

    Donovan told Howard about how busy he was traveling around from that early age. He said he did get burned out from it. Howard said by the time he was 24 he had made so much money he wondered why he was going out on the road. Donovan said that he made a lot of money but he didn't know where it all was. Howard asked who took it all. Donovan said that Keith Richards said it was a set up. Howard said he could have sat back and just enjoyed the money. He said he made his music and became a star so it was game over.

    Donovan said today they have a motivation to get a foothold. Donovan said that he was driven to want to sing these songs to different generations. He said that it's a bohemian manifesto. He said it wasn't about the money but the money came.

    Howard asked how he got famous. Donovan said that he was on a TV show for 3 weeks in a row over in England. He said that they would ask questions like where you slept the night before. He said he was on for 3 weeks in a row and he sang live on the show. He said he wasn't miming the songs like everyone else was doing. He said said he would cover songs on the show. He said he wasn't scared of a camera because his father had taken photos of him all his life. He said he got dumped from the show and they got a lot of mail about that. He said this was in 1965. He said they asked him to do a recording for them. He said they wanted to have a hit in the United States. He said this is what they gave him. He sang some of the song which was a hitchhiker's song. He said he did his own song which was ''Catch the Wind'' instead and that's the one that became a hit. Howard asked Donovan to perform some of that. He did that but the guitar was over modulated a bit. Howard said they have to fix that.

    Howard asked Scott what's going on with that. He tried to figure it out. Howard said that was a quick sound check. Howard said the guitar didn't sound that good.

    Howard said that he wants to take another shot at that song without being hooked up. Howard said it might sound better unplugged. Howard had him try again and it sounded much better. Donovan did the song again but with a great sounding guitar instead of the over modulated mess.

    Howard asked Donovan about that song and if it's sexual. Howard said he heard that some girl was touching his penis when he was a kid and he was left hanging. He said he heard that getting her was like trying to catch the wind. Donovan said that's almost right. He said he was singing about a girl Brian Jones had just had a whirlwind romance with. He said that he fell for this girl. He said that it was Brian Jones, from the Rolling Stones, who had insisted that the show ''Ready, Steady, Go'' take him. He said this girl wasn't ready for him. He said she wasn't ready for the romance. He said she went to California and that's when all of his songs started coming. He said that's when the record company got all of their songs. Howard said this girl goes back to Brian. Donovan said she tried to. Howard said Donovan hooked up with a girlfriend and had a couple of kids. Then the girl hears his songs and she wants to come back to him. Donovan said that he tried to get back together with her and the songs kept pouring out. He said that this led to his album that became huge.

    Howard asked Donovan if he's still with Linda. Donovan said that he was moving around all the time in the 60s. He said it was over and tough for him. He said he did run into Linda in the 60s and they got together for dinner. He said he was in Japan for a tour and they were paying 98 cents on the dollar in tax. He said he broke the tax exile and went to England. He said that he had rented his apartment to a couple of American girls. Howard said he has to slow him down there.

    Howard said when Donovan was 16-18 or so he was doing nothing but practicing the guitar. Donovan said he wanted to join Bohemia and be a folk singer. He said that he was a great singer because his family sang all of these songs when he was a kid. He said his father was a great reader so he was reading poems. He said his father was very supportive of his career. He said that he used to read poetry to him when he was going to bed.

    Howard said that he probably got his love of poetry from his old man. Donovan said it was the whole family. He said in the 1950s they would listen to folk music and his father would read poems. He said TV and radio hadn't grabbed everyone yet.

    Howard said he heard a story about how he was over dosed with the polio vaccine. Howard said he got polio from that. Donovan said that's right. He said the streets were torn up where he grew up in Scotland. He said they put too much in and he got Polio. Howard said the kids made fun of him because of that. He said he walked with a limp or something. Donovan said your foot becomes a club foot if you don't get your Achilles tendon cut. He said he can do all of the normal dance steps but he was different so he was laughed at. Donovan said that things that hold you back can point you in other directions for what you do in your life. He said he thinks that some other people like Joanie Mitchell had the same thing. He said that a girl needs two good legs but a guy can get away with it.

    Donovan said his father had him swimming and doing things like that to keep him going. He said he was only about 5 when his leg started showing the wasting. Howard said that the other kids would beat him though. Donovan said he would hang with the football guy and he'd defend him. Donovan said what he didn't want was the conflict. He said it was a tough upbringing.

    Howard said Donovan was signed to a record label at 19 years old. He said he had 11 top 40 hits in a row and that's unheard of. Robin asked when he started writing. Donovan said he was about 8 or 9 when he started writing. He said he hadn't played an instrument yet though. He explained how the ballads work and how they came from where he grew up so that's what he was used to.

    Howard read about some of the songs that were hits and mentioned ''Sunshine Superman'' and asked him to perform a little bit of that. Donovan said that he loved comic books as a kid but he was also reading the philosophies. He said that you can develop the super human inside of yourself. Howard said that's what he likes about learning about how songs come about. He said that there is a lot of research that goes into writing a song. Donovan said that popular music was kind of naive. He said this song is very much a love song about Linda. Howard asked if Sunshine is a drug reference. Donovan said it is. He said that it was the psychedelic drugs that were arriving around 1965. He said they were still legal at the time. He said he was joining what was happening already in Bohemia and experimenting with that. Howard asked if LSD opened him up. Donovan said that they started taking mushrooms and things became clear that there is an inner dimension. Howard said he learned from that then. Donovan said he did but it's not something you'd want to do every day. He said that he doesn't do drugs regularly now though. He said he may eat a cake with something baked into it once in a while.

    Donovan performed some of his song ''Sunshine Superman'' for Howard. Howard said Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin performs guitar on that song. Donovan said that he had to make some money and he was a session guy at the time. He said the Yardbirds had broken up around that time. Donovan said at the time his father kept the paper that paid Jimmy and it was 6 bucks. He said he gave him an extra 2 bucks for a carriage to bring his guitar. Howard said that's extraordinary. Donovan said it was a different time and you got a lot more for 6 bucks than you do now.

    Howard said ''Hurdy Gurdy Man'' was a song he did to sound more like Jimi Hendrix. Donovan said that he was told to try some different strings on his guitar. He said he tried that and it put a buzz on his guitar. Donovan told Howard about Jimi Hendrix coming out to play in a club near them. He said he wanted to get Jimi to play on his album but he was busy doing his own thing so he wasn't able to get him to play for him. He said that they had another guy come in and play. He said that John Paul Jones arranged the song for them. Howard played some of the original ''Hurdy Gurdy Man'' and asked some question about who was playing on it. Donovan said that John Paul Jones was there playing. He said they made these songs very quickly and no one wrote down any names. He said they made an album in a week.

    Howard said he loves his voice in that song. He asked what he puts his voice through. Donovan said that sometimes you just get it in a special way and you don't tell anyone how you do it. Howard said he had a hit song with that too but he thinks Donovan does it better.

    Howard asked why John Bonham claimed he played drums on that song. Donovan said he wanted to be part of a hit song. Howard said he actually took the John Bonham drums to the song. Donovan said he wanted to hear Howard's version. Howard played the song and said he used John Bonham's drums. Howard said he's laughing at the song. Donovan said it's great. He said it's so simple to play. He said they can play the soft part and then get into the harder part.

    Donovan said that he thinks that Zeppelin picked up on that song and that's where they got their style from. Donovan told Howard he wants a copy of his version of the song. He said he may have to do a cover of Howard's cover.

    Donovan said he had a custom guitar back in the 60s. He said he had a little J45 that he used and he lost it. He said Gibson said they'd make him a new one. He said he brought Howard one for his birthday today. He said it's number 1. Howard said if only he could play it. Howard said he wants him to come over to his apartment and teach him how to play. He said he's a quick learner. He said this guitar has some nice action. He said it's very light. Donovan said he has number 1 and he has number 1 himself.

    Howard said he heard he's being inducted into the song writer's hall of fame. Donovan said he must know something he doesn't. Donovan said he was nominated last December. Howard said he's in. Howard said he has the news for him and he's in. Howard said they gave him the honor of telling him that on the air. Howard said that's a big deal for a guy like him. Howard asked why it is a big deal. He asked if it's because it's an elite group of people who write their own music. Donovan said it is a big deal for him and he wanted to be inducted. He said that there are many recordings and many wonderful singers. He said if you can be known for moving song writing forward then it's a great honor. He thanked Howard for telling him. Howard said he deserves it.

    Howard said Season of the Witch is a great song and it might be the first song that was longer than 3 minutes. Howard said it was like 5 minutes long. Donovan said that half of the Sunshine Superman album was made in Los Angeles. He said they had some white coat engineers there in the recording studio and they told him that the meters were going into the red. He said that they couldn't have it going there. Donovan said he wanted it that loud. They had to go have a meeting about it. He said they told the producer that they had to turn it down.

    Howard said Donovan was the first artist that Clive Davis ever signed. Donovan said that's right and he didn't know that at the time. He said he went into the office in bare feet in 1968. He said that the women there were looking at him with their eyes wide open. He said that Clive had him put out two albums and then a box set. He said the box set went to gold within a month. Clive didn't want him to put out the box set first. He said that George Harrison did a box set after that because of how well it worked out for him.

    Howard said he likes this other song by Donovan called ''Season of the Witch'' and said he loves this one too. He let that play and talked to Donovan about the recording. Howard asked if he would change anything about it. Donovan said no. He said he likes it the way it is.

    Howard asked if it's mind blowing to him that he was a mass appeal artist. Donovan said you want to impress your peers and that's what he was able to do. He said that to impress the millions of others is amazing but you don't always think about them.

    Howard asked if it was mind blowing going with the Beatles to learn TM. Donovan said that fame hadn't pulled them up by the collar yet back then. He said that they wanted to help the world and how meditation can help. He said they needed a teacher but there wasn't one. Then they met Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. He said that the Beatles brought their acoustic guitars and so did he. He said they were cut off from everyone and just played guitar together and hung out. Howard said that must have been a great time in his life. Donovan said that John was fascinated with some of his guitar picking at the time. He said he wanted to learn from him so he taught him. He said Paul was left handed but he walked around and picked it up from watching. He said he got a particular style of picking from that. He said George Harrison stuck with the style he was doing. Donovan said that he had learned to play this way and he taught the Beatles how to do it. He said George Harrison pointed out that ''Donovan was all over the White album...''

    Howard asked Donovan about this chick Patty Boyd. Donovan said that he wrote Jennifer Juniper about her. He said he had a Platonic relationship with her. Howard asked why he would write a song about someone he wasn't in love with. Donovan said that love comes in all shapes and sizes. Howard asked if he wanted her sexually. Donovan said yes of course. He said they just didn't have any chemistry.

    Howard played some of Donovan's ''Jennifer Juniper.'' Donovan told Howard he's going to do a talk about the Beatles and the real Dear Prudence will be there. Howard said that's Mia Farrow's sister. Donovan said she was there when they were learning from Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.

    Donovan told Howard about how he taught the Beatles how to pick this certain way and he started to demonstrate it to Howard by playing some of ''Dear Prudence.'' Howard said that's kind of like ''My guitar Gently Weeps'' too. Donovan said that it's many song patterns. He showed Howard how it works and how it's a descending pattern.

    Howard asked if he's a genius. Donovan said he might be when it comes to music. He said that you have to put in 10,000 hours to be an expert. Donovan said he put his 10,000 hours in and he has learned all possible forms of the genres that he likes. He said that you already have all of the forms you need after that. He said that's why his music is such a fusion of styles. Donovan demonstrated more of that descending pattern. Howard said they're like the same song.

    Howard said he heard that Donovan wrote the music first for this song ''Atlantis.'' Then he had to fit in the lyrics. Donovan broke into the song and started to play that for Howard. He said it wasn't about old Atlantis. He said it was about the ocean within and consciousness. Howard said the ocean was the ocean of the mind. Donovan said that the only way you can find it is by going inside.

    Howard said Donovan got busted for pot many years ago. Donovan said that was in London. He said they were a threat to the establishment at the time. Howard said they were singing about drugs and all of that. Donovan said that they were sought out and they found out that they were not wanted in America. He said in 1966 he did a documentary and they filmed them smoking and drinking. He said that it was on TV and it was clear that he was going to be the first one to be busted. Donovan said that they just happened to not have any pot that night. He said they planted it in there. He said the Beatles and the Rolling Stones were next.

    Donovan said that they got a call from George Harrison the next morning. He said George asked what he was doing next. He said he was going to go back to Scotland to let it blow over. George told him that it wouldn't blow over and they were going to be next. Donovan said he was right.

    Donovan said that he moved to Greece to get away from everything. He said they weren't scared but they wanted to move on. He said they brought a few albums with them and they lived on a deserted island and played three albums. Donovan said that they got a call to come back to London because Sunshine Superman had been released and it was number 1 all over the bloody world. Donovan said that he and Gypsy had nothing. They had no money at all. He said that this Gypsy guy was his friend from childhood. He said that he left home at 16 with Gypsy and hitchhiked all over. He said it was illegal back then too.

    Donovan told Howard that they were on this island with no way to get off. The ferry only ran once a week. He said that the tavern owner said if they gave him their record player and cassette player he'd give them the money for the ferry. He said that they got on that ferry and he was waving goodbye to a way of life he would never live again. He said it was very poignant. He said that it was a recognition of their work and they had to go do this.

    Howard said he gets the impression that his mom was nuts. He said she found semen stains on his bed and she was upset about that. Donovan said he felt sorry for her. He said his father was more forgiving. Howard said his mother said she was going to kill herself. Donovan said that it was rather disturbing. He said that the drive to leave his parents house wasn't about them. He said that his mother had a lot of sisters and brothers and she had a tough life.

    Howard said he thinks that he ran away so he'd be free to jerk off. Donovan said he was looking for freedom of thought.

    Howard said that people thought that he hated Bob Dylan and Bob hated him. Donovan said he liked Bob. Howard said he heard that he thought that Dylan was turned off by his music. Donovan said that when he was getting going Gypsy gave him Bob's music and said he was another kid. He said he listened to that music and said he was doing that Woody Guthrie thing too.

    Donovan said that bob may have been concerned that he had some competition. Howard said he was right there with hit songs. Donovan said he asked Bob to sing a song for him and he sang one to him. He said that he knew he was in the right place when he met him. He said that Joan Baez introduced him to Pete Seeger and he introduced him to another and so on.

    Howard said he heard that he gave a line to the Beatles for ''Yellow Submarine.'' He asked if he remembers what it was. Donovan said that it was ''sky blue, sea of green, in a yellow submarine...'' Howard said that's just about the whole song. Donovan said that they didn't have a lot back then. He said they would help each other out with those kind of things.

    Donovan told Howard about how Paul brought over the beginning of the song ''Eleanor Rigby'' and he heard him formulating that song.

    Donovan said that he had Paul over at his house one day and a copper came up to ask about a car down on the street. He said that when he saw Paul there he saluted him. He said the cop actually went down and parked the car correctly for him and brought the keys back for him. Donovan said then Paul said he had a song he was starting and started to play ''Yellow Submarine.'' He said that it's not about a submarine. The song was about how they were forced to live inside their own lives and not having contact with reality anymore. He said it wasn't a very pleasant thing to be. Howard said the song sounds like a happy song but it really isn't.

    Howard asked why it was a yellow submarine. Donovan said he really doesn't know. Howard said he heard that his song where he sings about the electrical banana was about a vibrator. Donovan said it was. He said that he would write songs with John Lennon and they'd go through things that he had written. He said in the back pages he had the arrival of vibrators and that's where that electrical banana came from. Howard asked him to give him some of that song. Donovan said they thought that it was about abortion at the time.

    Howard said he's had some life. Howard asked if he's still with Linda. Donovan said it's going to be 50 years next year. Howard said that she must have been some beauty. Donovan said that there are other levels of beauty. He said that sex was one thing. He said she got very into alternative bohemian ideas. He said they are close to being soul mates. He said that they are brother and sister at times and more. He said that they realized that what they needed was self reflection. He said they do meditation and spread the word. Howard said he has been doing it since he was 18 years old. Donovan said there are tests that show that meditation can help.

    Donovan said that if you do Transcendental Meditation you will find that solutions appear. Donovan said that you can heal yourself by doing this. He said that it requires practice and a mantra. He said it's been proven that it's not a cult or a religion. Howard said he tells his audience about it all the time. Donovan said he thinks that people in the future are going to have to do it.

    Howard asked if he keeps in touch with Paul McCartney. Donovan said they run across each other once in a while. He said that they don't stay in touch really.

    Donovan said that Maharishi Mahesh Yogi asked him to build a university for him. He said that he wanted to do that. He said he was on the phone with him years later and he told him it was time. Donovan said that he has started a program to help kids out with their difficulties.

    Howard said he's something else. He said that he's happy for him being inducted into the song writer's hall of fame. Howard said that he appreciates the guitar gift he gave him. Donovan said that he wrote his songs on that guitar. Howard said he will write a few songs for Jewel on that guitar. Donovan showed Howard how to play a couple of chords so he could learn how to play. Donovan told him to practice a pattern and he may make something happen. He said you start with E minor D and take it from there.

    Howard said Donovan has a new album called Shadows of Blue that's available at Donovan said he was thinking of the song ''Rockin' Robin'' when thinking about Robin. He sang a little bit of that and Howard said they have spoken for an hour and a half. Donovan said he's going to be playing at Sam Ash on 43rd today if you want to come out and see him. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.

  • Jerry Seinfeld - February 4, 2014. 12/22/14. 9:15am
    Next on the Best of 2014 special they played a segment where Jerry Seinfeld called in. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Jerry Seinfeld Calls In. 02/04/14. 8:05am
    Howard had the theme song from Seinfeld playing as he got Jerry on the phone. Howard said that was his theme music. Jerry said he recognized it. Howard asked if that's some guy's mouth doing that. Jerry said it's a bass guitar. He said he was there when they created the music. Howard said they must have paid that guy for that. Howard said the guy who wrote the theme song for the Tonight Show, Paul Anka, came in there and said what he made from that. Jerry said he'd like to know what kind of money he made. Howard said he can't remember. He had Gary look it up.

    Howard said Jerry is on the phone to promote the season finale of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee which features Howard Stern. Howard said he likes the show but he's been unable to find the new season.

    Howard said he can't find the new season. Jerry said they did something different with Howard's episode. He said that he cut together all of the scenes where they're attacking each other. He said it's so great. He said Howard comes off very funny in it. He said that they talked about their fathers and it was very sweet and very powerful. He said it's something you wouldn't see in any other talk show.

    Howard said they taped it during the summer and they taped for about 3 hours. Howard said Jerry edits the show and he thought he was going to cut it down to about 20 minutes. Howard said that comedians will leave in their own funny lines but maybe not his. Jerry asked if he thinks that's the kind of guy he is. Howard said he does.

    Howard said he felt romanced by Jerry. He said he had him out to his house a couple of times. Once the show was taped he was done with him. He said that he felt used. Jerry laughed. Howard said that he thought they were on their way to have a great relationship. Jerry said they had a great interview on Howard's show and he still hears about that. He said he's not sure what it is about that interview.

    Howard said he and Jerry grew up around the same area and they're the same age. Howard asked if he went to any of those AZA Jewish parties. Jerry said he has no idea what he's talking about. Howard said he went to one and all of his friends hooked up but he was so hard up and didn't hook up with anyone.

    Howard asked if he was the funniest out of this season's shows. Jerry said he tries to find the best out of each person.

    Jerry said they went to a supermarket and played a game trying to figure out how much things cost. Howard said he was surprised that Jerry didn't know the cost of things.

    Jerry said that he finds it hard to believe that people are interested in his 11 minutes of show after listening to Howard for 5 hours.

    Howard said that someone said they saw the episode and it was very funny. Jerry said it is very funny. He said it's fun to see those two guys in that setting.

    Howard said Jerry picked him up in a Pontiac GTO. Jerry said he did that because it's very loud and a ''here I am world'' kind of car. Howard asked how they make money doing that show. Jerry said they have a sponsor and it's not very expensive to make. Howard said there's talk of it going to regular TV. Jerry said it seems like a step back. Howard said he knows Jerry doesn't want that kind of pressure. Jerry said he likes it being this personal thing.

    Howard said that commercial came on during the Super Bowl and it was promoting Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee but he heard it was given to them for free. Howard asked what was going on there. Jerry said FOX wanted something to relate to New York. He said they wanted a Seinfeld reunion and that led to him talking to Larry David about it. He said they didn't get any money but they got 5 seconds at the end to promote the show. He said he got something out of it to promote something for FOX.

    Howard said he must have been nervous about it. Jerry said he was and Howard is very perceptive. Howard said he knows that he doesn't want to do a reunion show. Jerry said he was nervous about it and he didn't want to ruin the whole thing. Howard asked why they didn't have Michael Richards and Julia Louis Dreyfus come in. Jerry said it was only a 90 second commercial. He said they can't jam everyone in it.

    Howard said he saw the commercial for their episode and he thought that he was going to use his own jokes but not his. Howard said he got off a joke about how he looks like a hip wicket witch of the west. Jerry laughed. Howard asked how he prepares for those shows. Jerry said he doesn't.

    Howard thanked Jerry for the video he did for the birthday show. Jerry said that he would have been there if he could have been. Howard said he really enjoyed that party. He said he let other people do their thing and didn't obsess over things. He said it was a great time.

    Howard asked why he won't host the Oscars. Jerry said he doesn't feel he could do anything that great with it. He said it's kind of a thankless thing. He said it doesn't look like that much fun. Howard said he agrees but he thinks Jerry would be good at it. Jerry said he's not that kind of guy though. Howard said he thinks Jerry talks people out of working. He said he thinks he did that with Jay Leno and he tried to do that with him. Jerry said he admires that Howard has the energy to do the show. Howard said Jerry still works too though. He said he's working every day.

    Howard said he just read that Jerry is still the highest earning comedian. Jerry said wow. Howard asked if he's going to do that Larry David project. Jerry said that was a rumor and there never was a project. It was just the super bowl commercial.

    Howard asked Jerry about something he said about being married. Jerry said that you think about where you can go that it will get better and it all turns out to be the same if you marry someone else. He said you end up working with who you have. Howard said he thinks he's right. Howard said there's no reason to go through the whole mess and deal with the same problems. Jerry said Howard got divorced and married again but he's happier. That goes against what he was saying.

    Gary came in and said that Paul Anka was making about 700-800,000 from the song from the Tonight Show. Howard said that Johnny Carson wanted to own the song because he knew what the residuals would be. Howard said that's tacky.

    Howard asked Jerry why he said that Charlie Chaplin is the one guy he'd want to go back and meet. Howard said the guy was a physical comedian and Jerry works with his mind. Jerry said all comedy is the same on some level. Howard asked if it really is. Jerry said yes.

    Howard said Jerry did a joke about how moisture ruins leather. Howard said he's been thinking about that since the summer. Howard read some of his other jokes and said he's nervous about seeing this episode. Jerry told him not to be. He said they had some great conversations and they put a bunch of them in the episode.

    Howard said he asked Jerry about having a home office and they talked about their MAD Magazine covers. Howard said both of them said those were the highlights in their lives. Howard said that they ended up exchanging emails about that. Howard said that it was like the lights went on in the room when he saw his MAD cover. Howard said he remembers when he got his first MAD magazine. Howard said his cousin worked for Warner Brothers and he took a cover of a Playboy and taped it to a MAD magazine. Howard said it was all of these weird cartoon drawings. He said he realized it was MAD Magazine and it was great. He said he cared more about that than Playboy. Jerry said he didn't remember how he found out about MAD. He said the second he started reading it the lights came on and he realized that's what he loves.

    Howard said he had every MAD Magazine and his mother ended up giving them away to a neighbor. Howard said he couldn't believe that. Jerry and Howard talked about some of their favorite things they saw in MAD. Howard said his favorite movie parody was Sparatuchas. Howard said it was so good.

    Howard asked Jerry about what the deal is with their friendship. He said he invited Jerry over but he was busy. Jerry said he knows Howard doesn't like to circulate in regular ways. He said he likes to go to diners and places like that. He said maybe they should go get one of those shakes he was talking about. Howard said that's GNC. He said they can do that. Howard said he thinks that people will see a chemistry between them.

    Howard said Jerry had him over to his house for a party and Whitney Cummings was out of control. Howard said he thought it was great. Howard asked if he was upset with that. Jerry said he wasn't. He said that story has been beaten to death though. He said that people thought it was really funny. Howard said he brought her there and he thought that they were going to be upset with her rubbing her vagina on the couch. Howard asked if they had it cleaned. Jerry said they threw it out.

    Howard gave Jerry some plugs for and the final episode which is with him. Howard asked what he'll do with the material they don't use. Jerry said he has some ideas but he's not ready to announce what he wants to do with it. Howard said there were a lot of great moments. Jerry said there really were. He said that the supermarket thing is great. He said Howard will enjoy that. Jerry said he got Howard to eat a chocolate brownie. Howard said he's down 30 pounds from that. Howard said he's at his fighting weight now. Howard said he had a six pack when he was on vacation in December. Howard said he was voted most f'able man in America by

    Howard said that Jerry doesn't curse in his personal life. Howard asked him to say cunt but he refused. He would only say tushie. Jerry said that he's used to that from stand up. He said he won't say anything crazy on this show. Howard asked if he has ever used the N-word. Jerry said only in front of black people to be funny. Robin told him to do it now. Jerry said if he had something funny he'd do that. He said he's very sensitive about that word. Howard asked if he's ever had anyone get upset with him about it. Jerry said he hates the word intensely. He said that he's very sensitive about it. Howard said he stopped using the word ''fag'' because he didn't realize the ramifications. They talked about how the word ''retard'' is causing problems for Lebron James.

    Howard asked Jerry if it's true that Jay Leno has more cars than him. Jerry said it is. Howard said Jerry has a bunch though. Jerry said he does. Howard asked Jerry how he feels about Philip Seymour Hoffman . Jerry said he feels really bad about that. Howard said addiction is so difficult. Howard said he could have dropped dead himself. He said he overdosed on acid and it was a horrible experience. Howard said he didn't know what he was doing.

    Howard asked Jerry if he thinks Leno will do another late night show. Jerry said he doesn't think so. Howard said that he knows Jerry had that talk with Jay about not doing something else. Jerry said he knows from talking with him that it's not something he's thinking about. He said he may do a show about cars or something. Howard said he should pick people up in cars and have coffee with them. Jerry said that's a good idea.

    Howard said he and Jerry had a good time shooting that show. He gave him more plugs for the show and asked what he's doing today. Jerry said he's going to do some TM and then stay home in his office. He said he has some calls to make and some things to write. He said he's working on some material about parents reading to their kids. Jerry said his bedtime story was just darkness.

    Jerry said that Howard got that in his head when he brought up how their parents didn't do that kind of thing. Howard said that Jerry can come in and do another interview. He said that he did that great one but they can have another one. He said that they've earned the right to talk and just be shitty. Howard let Jerry go a short time later.

    Howard said he is looking forward to seeing this thing. Robin said she is too. Howard said he's always worried about how it's going to be edited. Robin said Jerry looked at it and this is the way he wants to present it. Howard said that they mount the cameras in the car and they have a car in front of you with a camera pointed through the glass. Howard said they have to be the worst camera angles ever. Howard said he just gave in and went with it.

    Howard said some of the pictures that came out of the birthday show he looked hideous. He said he looked okay in some of them though. Robin said she didn't see many. She did see the nightmare picture of Ryan Phillippe dancing for her. Robin said she felt like he had done that before when he was doing it to her. Howard said that she had a good birthday show experience with all of the good looking guys there. Robin said she had a good time. She said that she didn't touch Ryan when he was dancing for her though. Howard said that took him by surprise. Howard said he has to take a break and then get to JD. They went to break after that.


  • Neil Patrick Harris - May 14, 2014. 12/22/14. 10:00am
    Next up on today's special Jon Hein introduced a Neil Patrick Harris interview. Here's my rundown from that day:

    Neil Patrick Harris Visits. 05/14/14. 7:50am
    After the break we heard a prank call Blue Iris made to a car repair shop about helping her get her dentures out of the radiator. We also heard a song parody that Howard played yesterday where a guy did an impression of his father. Fred also played Smashing Pumpkins ''1979'' as they were coming back.

    Howard came back and said it's one of those days that's star studded. He said he has Neil Patrick Harris there who is in Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Howard said that How I Met Your Mother is over with now.

    Howard asked Neil about how busy he is with this play. Neil said they have a weird schedule. He said they don't do Wednesday matinees because that's like the old lady time. He said this is kind of a rock and roll play. He told Howard how they shot How I Met Your Mother and how that worked. Howard asked about memorizing lines. Neil said that he had to memorize long rants and he has that muscle that allows him to remember it.

    Howard asked how old he was when he got Doogie Howser. Neil said he was 15. He said now he's turning 40. Howard said he's been famous his whole life. Howard asked if he remembers when he wasn't famous. Neil said he grew up in New Mexico and he wasn't famous there. He said that was his upbringing.

    Howard asked about how he got the job on Doogie Howser. Neil said that he auditioned and had to wait a while to find out. He said then they came back to him and he doesn't know why. He said he was living in New Mexico at the time so he felt like it was just a little lark. Neil said his parents liked that he followed what he was passionate about. He said he sang in the church choir and they wanted him to go to some performing arts high school. He said they thought that was weird in their family but he did it and he had fun there. Then a writer saw him at the camp and he hired him to be in a movie called Clara's Heart. He said that led to other things.

    Howard asked how he got into the TV show thing. Neil said that his parents loved the shows that Steven Bochco produced and they said the only way he'd do a TV show was if he produced it. He said he lucked out with Doogie Howser. Howard asked if he freaked out and became an asshole from that. Neil said he doesn't think so. He said he didn't feel like his shit didn't stink. He said TV was very different than film at the time. He said you didn't get to do movies and things like they do now. He said it was a lot of work for him too.

    Howard asked how many seasons he did. Neil said he did 4. Howard asked if he panicked at all when it was over. Neil said that name Doogie stuck with him for a while and that was kind of a bummer for him. Howard said it is a shitty name to stick with. He said it's not cool. Neil said he did appreciate it because he got to play him but you don't want to be that in college. He said Steven Bochco gave him some good advice. He said he told him he was going to ride the wave but it would crash eventually. He said he had to decide if he wanted to get back on the board and try again. He said that he'd have to wait for more great waves and he had to stick with it and just wait for the time between those waves.

    Howard asked Neil if he was set up for life after that show. Neil said he wasn't but he was set up for a while. He said they were making a lot of TV movies back then and he could work on one and make $100,000 and have that last him the rest of the year.

    Neil said that his parents gave up a law practice to move out to California. He said they weren't able to work out there because of that. He said they were afraid that he was going to get his head screwed up by living out there. Howard said he never went to college. Neil said he didn't. Robin asked what he was doing when he wasn't making TV movies. Neil said he was smoking weed and taking his fake ID to bars. He wasn't that wild sexually. He said he moved back to New Mexico for a couple of years and climbed a lot of rocks.

    Howard said that Neil is a magician too. Howard said he loves magicians on America's Got Talent. Neil said he wouldn't say that he's a magician. He said he does tricks and things.

    Neil asked Howard if it's hard to see magicians on AGT because they hone their acts for 10 years but they only have 15 minutes of material. He said they have to come up with more stuff within a week. Howard said it is hard for them. He said he's absolutely right. Howard said he looks at it a different way. He said he looks at their presentation and gives them advice on how to hone it. He said that they have to come up with a way to do it differently. He said Penn and Teller are the best with that.

    Howard said David Blaine is really good at what he does. Neil said he's more about getting the eyeballs on his act. He said he's not even about the illusions so much. Howard asked if he can figure out his act. Neil said he can narrow it down. He said he has a friend who is a friend of David's and he has gotten some information from him.

    Neil said he wouldn't be into doing magic but he would be into presenting it. He said he would like to have an Ed Sullivan type show where he'd introduce it. Howard said that's kind of what America's Got Talent is these days. Neil said that variety in the past has been a magician doing 7-8 minutes and it's a snore fest. He said that they need to get to their stuff quickly and have a variety of that and it would be great.

    Howard said he heard that he was in talks with CBS to take over for Letterman. Neil said he was in conversation but not about to make a deal. He said they asked if he would be interested in doing that. He said he spoke to Les Moonves and some other people. He said How I Met Your Mother was ending after 9 seasons. Howard asked how he felt about the show. Neil said he loved the show and loved the cast. He said he loved his character and loved to be this super macho alpha male. Howard said it sort of revived his career. He said then he did Harold and Kumar. Howard asked if that's how he got the CBS show. Neil said he thinks that was part of it. He said that didn't hurt.

    Howard said he read that he made $250,000 an episode when the show ended. Neil said they were well paid by the end. He said he was very happy with what he was making. Neil said that was per week. Howard said he thinks that Neil was the draw on that show. Neil said it was a proper ensemble and it wasn't a spotlight on Barney. He said they all made the same money on the show. Neil said that they had weird negotiations at season 4. He said they all went in together on their deals. Howard said it must be weird when you have a cast like that. He said there could be one hold out that wants to do better on their own. Neil said that could happen. He said it didn't happen exactly that way. Neil said he felt like they all had individual careers that they had nurtured up until then. He said you're fighting for yourself and your take in it. He said he wanted his team to fight as hard as they could.

    Howard said Neil said that they should go in individually. Neil said it is kind of a cubical job and they all had to fight for their raises. Neil said that they wanted to do one extra season and by season 9 they had all proven their worth on the show. He said they were all getting paid well at the end. He said that it was more in the middle of the run that he wanted to go in on his own.

    Howard said he thinks that Neil could have gotten more for himself. Neil said the show wasn't really huge though. He said the ratings were good but not like Big Bang Theory ratings. He said the show would get slaughtered by Dancing with the Stars at times.

    Howard said these reality shows get huge ratings. Neil said he watches them himself. He said he can't be too mad if he's watching them. Howard said it seems like they'd be more popular than Dancing with the Stars. Neil said you can wait and watch How I Met Your Mother on demand and watch the live shows live.

    Neil said he loved that CBS kept them on for 9 seasons on Monday night. He said that they could have moved them around like NBC did with Community. He said they cant get a fan base if they do that.

    Howard asked Neil about the meeting he had with Les Moonves. Neil said he called and said he wanted to have a lunch meeting. Howard said the Letterman thing wasn't announced yet. Neil said he assumed it was just a meeting about the future. Robin said she'd like to know when Letterman told Les about that. Neil said his meeting was months ago. He said he was just gauging how he felt about a late night show.

    Howard said Neil is very good at hosting. He said he likes that he can sing and dance and tell jokes. He said he thinks he'd be a formidable competitor in that time slot. Neil said there were many reasons that he didn't want to do it. Howard said it can be a grind. Neil said that the competition is very stiff right now. He said if they had asked him when it was just Jay and Dave then he could have come in and done something. He said there are so many hungry young guys in the time slow now that it would kill him with the repetition.

    Howard said doing a sitcom it's not just on him. He said in late night it's all about him. Neil said that you can't just sit and think about how great the show was. He said you have to be on all the time thinking about what they're doing next. Howard said he talks to Jimmy Kimmel a lot and he puts in a lot of hours. He said he's there day and night working on his bits.

    Neil said he thinks that Howard should take the 12:30 slot. Howard said he has other things going on. He said he has such a great gig there with the radio show. He said he can talk to Neil for an hour if he wants to. Neil said he's got a good point.

    Howard asked Neil about the Letterman thing again. Neil said that Letterman's contract was going to be up in 2 years so they may have assumed Dave was going to be leaving. Howard asked where he had this lunch. Neil said it was in Les' office. He said they had sushi and stuff there to eat. Howard said that it seems like his career is on fire lately. He said he's doing just fine.

    Robin asked if he worried about coming out and damaging his character on How I Met Your Mother. Neil said he thought they might change his character but they ended up keeping him the same. Robin said he's really the first out gay person who has been able to do everything. Howard said that would be him actually.

    Howard asked Neil about the meeting with Les and if he had to get excited about it and come up with a game plan. Neil said he came up with the things that he thought would happen with that gig. He said he figured he'd get bored with the whole thing quickly and he didn't want to do the same thing over and over. Howard asked if he had an idea for it. Neil said he liked the idea of a weekly variety show. He said it would be best to do it weekly because they'd have more time to prepare.

    Howard asked if he asked him to do 12:30. Neil said that was part of the discussion. He said it's still nightly though and he wouldn't want to do it. Then there's the audience which is smaller. He said he has taken himself out of the running. Howard said he likes that.

    Neil said he has a lot of fun stuff going on right now. He said he has 2 big movies coming out this year. He said he's in Seth McFarlane's ''A Million Ways to Die In The West'' and another one. He said that movie is very funny and there are a lot of great actors in it. Neil said he's also in ''Gone Girl'' which is a David Fincher movie. He said that one is a big one. Howard said that's the pinnacle doing movies. Neil said that it was a lot of fun doing them. Howard asked if he has to audition. Neil said he met with them both and didn't have to audition. Neil said that he thinks they just want to see if they vibe and get along. He said in both cases they did.

    Howard said Neil has two kids and a fiancee. Neil said they moved to New York. Howard asked if he has time to be with the kids. Neil said he has to craft the time but he saw them this morning. He said he really has to get more sleep. He said he had to do Howard Stern this morning so he didn't get much sleep.

    Howard said he was always a monster at home because he had to get sleep. Neil said he and David had to alternate. He said they bought a brownstone in Harlem and it's still being renovated. Howard asked what he loves about Harlem. Neil said it's very suburban in its own way. Neil said because of that they have an apartment in the Lower East Side. He said they were alternating back and forth getting up early. He said he has to sleep to rest his voice. He said that they're having to deal with that stuff. He said they have nannies now so they can get 8 hours of sleep each.

    Howard asked Neil if there is less romance now. Neil said there is. He said that the kids take up a lot of time. He said David is an actor and chef. He said they met doing shows in New York. He said they were doing different shows. He said they ended up moving out to L.A. to do How I Met Your Mother. He said he thought it would just be a couple of seasons but it turned out to be 9.

    Howard said that he has to see this play he's in. Neil said it's about a boy who is trying to find his way out of Berlin and he has to marry this guy who is willing to lop off his wang to get married. He said it's quite funny and improvisational. Howard said that the angry inch is the little bit of his cock that's left. Neil said that's it.

    Howard said that Neil never had that effeminate quality as a gay man. Neil said he went through puberty late. He said he was always entranced by men who were masculine. He said he wasn't into being effeminate. He said he wasn't trying to be macho at all but he was attracted to masculinity.

    Howard said that Neil seems to be in character now. Neil said he might be a little bit. He said he can't go out drinking and into a loud bar after working. He said that he has to save his voice. He said he has to be in shape too. He said that you have to be on your game. Howard said he's going to go see the play. Neil said he has to come. He said he hears Howard mocking musicals all the time. Howard said he has to see this one.

    Howard said Neil is friendly with Elton John. Howard said it seems uncomfortable to him because they seem to be friends just because they're famous. Neil said that they met because they were both honored in the Time Magazine honorary thing. He said that Elton's guy David Furnish came up to him and gave him his number and told him to reach out. Neil said he didn't know what to do and he didn't call. He said he doesn't think he's that famous so he doesn't know what to do in that situation. He said that they ended up inviting them to Niece. Neil said they were in Greece at the time. He said that he and David were on vacation for a couple of weeks. He said they ran into David Furnish in Greece and they went to Nobu over there. He said they told David that they were expecting twins through surrogacy. He said that David told them that they were expecting as well on Christmas Eve. He said they bonded over that. He said they built it from there. He said they go once a week to Niece and hang out at Elton's castle. He said it's fantastic.

    Howard said he thinks Elton is one of the nicest guys on the planet. He asked if he ever gets to the piano and starts playing. Neil said there is no piano there. He said he thinks about it in his head and writes a whole album in a week but he doesn't play at home. Howard said that's remarkable. Neil said the guy is so talented. He said he knows everything about music. Neil said they have to pinch themselves when they're there having lunch with Elton John. Neil said it's great to hear him bad mouthing people and talking nice about people you wouldn't expect.

    Neil said it's magical being there. He said they have people there to ask things for. He said you ask for something and they bring it right to you. He said there is amazing art and it's just glorious there. He said then they're at the airport flying home and standing in line being charged for extra luggage.

    Neil told Howard that Elton will have people like Bono and his wife over for dinner while they're there. Howard said that he has never spoken to Bono. Neil said he's the greatest story teller. He said he looks at you and it's like you're best friends. He said he'll talk to you for 3 hours and it's so great you don't remember any of it.

    Neil said that he and Elton have a great friendship. He said he doesn't want to be phony around him. Howard asked him to tell some of the secrets they have together. Neil said he can't do that. He said that when you're close you share things that you don't tell others. Howard said he has some friends like that. Neil said he is friends with Kelly Ripa and Mark Conseulos. He said he's friends with Mary McCormack too. He said he's sort of Howard Adjacent.

    Howard said if he didn't have kids running around he might get together with him. He said if he ever gets away for a night he'd have him over.

    Neil said he did a Rolling Stone interview with the same guy who spoke to Howard. He said it was very stressful having him over to the house though. Howard said he was the same way. He said you want it to be something great and it's a lot of pressure. He said that he limits the visits to 2 instead of 5. Neil said they had a few meetings in various places.

    Howard said Neil is nude on the cover and there's a lot of people in an uproar over that. Howard said he thinks that David Furnish has a crush on him. Neil said he doesn't think so.

    Howard said that Richard Christy knows Neil. Neil said he's a fan of Richard and Sal. He said that Richard was in the first Harold and Kumar movie. Howard told Neil to go into the room and make some phony phone calls with Richard and Sal. Neil said that would be hilarious. Howard said he could be Hedwig in the calls. Howard said it's an art to make those calls.

    Howard said Neil is on Broadway in Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Howard asked if he has gotten together with Richard. Neil said not yet but maybe now that he's in the city he can. He said he thinks it would be great to go to a haunted house with him.

    Neil told Howard to come and see a show. He told him that there's a 7pm show on Sunday. He said that it's 90 minutes and no intermission. He said he'll be out by 8:30. Howard said he went to see the LBJ play and it was so cold in the theater. He said his wife is sick from that. Howard said he had to bundle up like it was winter. Neil said he sweats like crazy in this show. Robin said she has to come see the play too. She said she has to see Neil in it. Neil said he's very proud of the show. He said it's really not like a typical Broadway musical.

    Howard asked if he's nominated for a Tony. Neil said he is. Howard said he thinks he has it locked. Neil said he's not sure about that. Neil said that the show got 8 nominations. Howard said he thinks that he should talk to him about the speech he's going to make if he wins. Neil said he doesn't think he's going to win. He said he has no expectations. He said crazy shit happens at the Tonys. He said it's a small group that votes and you never know who they're going to vote for.

    Howard asked if he's a ratings checker with the TV show. Neil said he was. He said he reads everything. He said he reads reviews and everything. He said that he wondered if they were on an up tick or not. Howard asked if he reads his own reviews. Neil said sure. He said he wants to know. Neil said that he would rather know all of the information and figure out how he can get through it. He said he's not going to ignore it all.

    Neil said he hosted the Emmys last year and it wasn't well received. He said they did the In Memorium things that didn't go over very well. He said it made it a very somber night. Neil said he'd make some jokes and then they'd bum everyone out with the sad things.

    Howard asked how much input he has on those shows. Neil said he's a producer now so he has a lot. Howard asked where he has his awards displayed. Neil said he has them in the house on display.

    Howard asked if he gets a lot of shit on Twitter. Neil said he has like 8 million followers and they are pretty cool. Howard said you can move mountains with 8 million people. Neil said he didn't buy them. He said that you can't just say random shit. He said he's more guarded now that he has so many. He said you have to make sure that it's all worded correctly. He said he used to drunk tweet but not anymore. He said he once insulted a soap star when he drunk tweeted. He said that was a mess.

    Howard gave Neil some plugs for the play and for ''A Million Ways to Die In The West.'' Howard asked if he wanted to bad mouth Harvey Weinstein like Robert Duvall did. Neil said he has no reason to do that. Neil told Howard that he's a big fan of the show. He told them to keep on keeping on. He said he loves the show but Hanzi is really disrespectful. He said he thinks Eric the Actor is okay because he's doing his own thing. He said Hanzi is really out there and disrespectful. Howard said that he's delusional. He said he lives in a basement and he believes that he spends his day manipulating his life. Fred threw in some Hanzi clips while he was talking about him. Howard said Hanzi is holding it against him that he didn't let him come to the birthday show.

    Howard said he has Hanzi on the phone actually. They played him in with the Imran Khan song parody. Hanzi said ''Fuck you Neil Patrick Harris'' as soon as Howard picked up. Hanzi said Neil knows that there are powers in Hollywood and he doesn't even think he's gay. Neil said he sees there are secret forces behind the show but there are no other forces. Howard said that it's successful despite those forces. Howard said Neil doesn't like him on the show. Neil said that Howard is the nicest guy and he doesn't get why he's so mean to Howard. Neil said that Howard fucks with him off the air. He said Neil knows it because he's illuminati too. Howard said that they all go to Elton's house and plan it all. Hanzi said he wants to be an extra on How I Met Your Mother. Neil said that the illuminati won't allow that. Howard hung up on Hanzi and went to break a short time later.

    Today's special was over around 11:05am.

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