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  • Is The End Near? (Updated June 13, 2016)
    Please read this to find out what could happen to this year.

-- Tuesday, September 27, 2016 --

  • Presidential Debate Discussions. 09/27/16. 7:00am
    Show opening bits and songs included: A Baba Booey song parody to the tune of Foo Fighters ''Everlong,'' a ''Fast Times at Ridgemont High'' audio clip, ''The Scott Salem Bowling Show'' clip, JD Harmeyer and Jason Kaplan PSA about name calling, Living Color covering the Beatles ''Tomorrow Never Knows.''

    Howard started the show talking about how he was up late watching the debate. He said he hung in until about 10:30 and then went to bed. He said he heard his name and then went to bed. He said Trump was on the show years ago saying he was for the Iraq war and they were forced to mention that in the debate. Howard had a clip to play since Robin didn't hear it. Howard said he can cross that off his bucket list now. He said he's been mentioned in a presidential debate. Robin said no one said ''Hit 'em with the Hein.''

    Howard played the clip where Trump brought up the interview with Howard Stern. Howard said Beth woke up when she heard the name. He said he thought sex might happen but she was too tired. Howard said the highlight of the debate was the parade of hot trump women walking out at the beginning. Howard said they must have imported some. Howard said according to the polls people are having a hard time picking a president. Howard said he's having a hard time picking someone to beat off to. He said it's either Melania or Ivanka. Howard said Melania is holding up really well. He said he wishes they had a split screen of them.

    Howard said the greatest part was when Bill Clinton went up to shake Melania's hand. Howard said you know she went into his spank bank. Howard said you know Bill still loves pussy. He did his impression of Clinton asking Melania if she's ever had a cigar in her pussy.

    Howard said both candidates looked great. Howard said he has to say the lighting guy did a good job. Howard said he wishes he had that guy. Howard said he was watching the stuff before the debate and there were a lot of mutants walking around there at Hofstra. Howard said some of them should have been thrown off campus.

    Howard said Hillary got in a plug for her web site. He said Trump was getting in plugs too. Howard played some clips. Hillary got in a plug for her book. Howard said Jackie called him and complained about the number of plugs. He said Jackie would do a movie and he'd wear a Jokeland shirt in the movie. Robin said he used to sit there and plug when he was at the height of his fame.

    Howard asked what was going on with Donald and the sniffling. Robin said he may have been under the weather. Howard played a clip of Trump sniffling when he was talking. Howard said JD was laughing whenever he'd sniff. Howard played more of Trump sniffing during his discussion about Ford moving some production to Mexico. Howard said even Medicated Pete was wondering what was going on with the sniffling. Howard played a clip of Pete sniffling himself in a clip.

    Howard said he noticed there was a lot of that. Howard said he had some Bobo-isms too. He said Trump said ''semi-exact'' and some other things. Howard said people were nit picking there. Howard said he watched for a while but he wonders if anyone is going to change their minds after the debate. Robin said she doesn't think so. She said nothing was like a deal breaker for voters. Robin said she's not sure that anyone can be eliminated as a candidate.

    Howard said Rosie O'Donnell took a hit during the debate too. Howard played a clip of Trump talking about Rosie during the debate.

    Robin said this is an unusual debate when you hear Rosie brought up. Howard said they weren't talking about the wall and that's like going to see Pink Floyd and not hearing The Wall. Howard said it seemed pretty nutty to him.

    Howard said he's tired of it. He wants the election over with. Robin said there are two more debates and a vice presidential debate. Robin asked if he knows who the vice presidential candidates are. Howard said he does. Robin said they seemed to have disappeared.

  • Beetlejuice Visits. 09/27/16. 7:15am
    Howard asked if their expert is there to tell them who won the debate. Gary said he's on his way in. Robin said it's Beetlejuice. Howard said that's a little surprise for Robin. He said good things come in small packages. Howard asked if he watched the debate last night. Beetlejuice said he did. He said he thinks Donald won. Howard asked why he says that. Beetlejuice said he was there. Howard said it was a crazy scene there.

    Howard said Beet is there to help them with some stuff there. Howard said he's in the back room doing some stuff. Howard asked if he was there for the debates. Beet said he was. He said he was advising Trump. Howard asked who is hotter, his wife or daughter. Beetlejuice said it's his wife. Howard asked what he would do to her sexually. Beetlejuice said he would put it in her back door. Howard said he knows how to please a woman. Howard asked when he last got pussy. Beetlejuice said in the last two weeks.

    Howard asked if he Beetlejuice thinks they should build a wall. Beetlejuice said he does because he doesn't like the Mexicans. He said they don't wash. He said they're scared the soap. Howard asked if there are any other races he doesn't like. Beetlejuice said he's okay with white people. Howard asked if there are any other groups he'd like to see out. Beetlejuice said some Mexicans are alright. He said we can keep some here.

    Howard said he knows Beetlejuice is there and only has a short amount of time. Howard said he heard about his latest project. He asked Beetlejuice to talk about it. Beetlejuice said that's a secret. Howard said he's selling Emojis. Howard said he has a new app out called Beetmoji. Howard asked if he knows anything about this. Beetlejuice said it came out a long time ago. Howard said it's Beetlejuice themed Emojis. Howard asked how you get it. Beetlejuice said it's already in your head. Howard said they have Boxing Beet and Trump Beet and things like that. Howard said it's available for IOS or Android.

    Howard said Beet has tried a bunch of things and this is the latest. Howard said everyone loves Emojis. Howard said you can download it now for 99 cents. Beetlejuice said there must be about 50 in there. Howard said it could be more or less. Gary said it's over 80. He said his favorite is Zika Beet. Howard asked what that is. Gary said it's Beetlejuice as a bug.

    Howard asked if they're real pictures or cartoons. Beet said they're cartoons. Howard said they're drawings. Howard said he has a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' t-shirt on in one. Howard asked who drew them. Beetlejuice said he did. Howard said he has a Howard Beet too. Howard said there's a Don King Beet as well. Howard said he's doing it all. He said he's a little jealous. Beetlejuice said when you think you do it.

    Howard asked if he worries about copyrights. Beetlejuice said he figured everything out. Howard asked how much he's keeping for himself and how much is going to charity. Beetlejuice said he's doing it all for charity.

    Howard asked Beet what he would send to his wife as an Emoji. Beetlejuice said his wife asked him to come over and do something for her. He said he did it. Howard said he must have used that big cock of his. Howard asked what Emoji he should send her. Beetlejuice told him to send whatever he wants. Howard asked what he should use when he's horny. Beetlejuice said there's a boner in there.

    Howard said in a few weeks they're going to have The Gathering of the Stupid and they have to vote on whether or not Marfan Mike should be in the Wack Pack. Howard said he has Marfan Mike on the phone now. Howard said he was just up on the phone but now he's gone. Gary said they're getting him back. Howard said he thinks Beetlejuice could influence the Wack Pack. He asked Beetlejuice if he should be in. Beetlejuice said he might not be. Howard said he's not on the phone anymore but he has Mariann.

    Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she just downloaded the Emojis. Mariann asked if Beetlejuice remembers her. Beetlejuice said he remembers her. Howard said she just bought his Emojis. Mariann asked if she should be at the Gathering. Beetlejuice said it's up to her. Howard asked if he would fuck Mariann. Beetlejuice said he has a couple of times. Howard asked if Beetlejuice would fuck Mariann or Ivanka. Beetlejuice said she bought the Emojis so he would say Mariann.

    Howard took a call from Marfan Mike who said he likes Beetlejuice and he'd like to hang out. Beetlejuice said it's up to him. He said he knows he's a good friend but he has other things to take care of. Howard said this is like a meeting of the small minds. Howard asked Mike to give Beetlejuice a reason to vote for him. Mike said he's cool like Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice said he's alright but he doesn't think he'll vote for him. Mike said they can hang out. Beetlejuice said he went crazy last time. Mike laughed. Howard said everyone is influenced by Beetlejuice. He said he is the most influential Wack Packer. Howard said Beetlejuice might be the key to getting in. Mike said he's the man.

    Howard said High Pitch Erik refused to call in today. He doesn't want to talk to Beetlejuice. Howard asked if he would vote for Mike if he gave him a gift. Beetlejuice said that's up to him. Robin asked if he wants an Xbox. Beetlejuice said he'd take that. Howard told Mike to work on his convincing mode. Mike said he's been getting a lot of nasty text messages from High Pitch Erik. Howard said he's threatening Mike now. Mike said he's telling him he has to watch his back and he's going to kill him. Robin asked how many times they have to tell him not to threaten people.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he downloaded the app and it made his car explode. Howard said that's not true. He let the guy go.

    Howard asked what happened between Beetlejuice and Robin. Beetlejuice said he doesn't think that's going to happen. Howard asked if she gave him a hand job. Beetlejuice said that's their secret. Howard said he heard she gave him a hand job. Beetlejuice said nobody wants to know about that. Howard asked if it's true. Beetlejuice said he doesn't want to say. Howard asked if she showed her titties. Beetlejuice said that's a secret.

    Howard said he has a hot chick on the phone who says she wants him. Howard took the call and a guy was doing a woman's voice talking to Beetlejuice about how good she is at blow jobs and squirting. Then he changed his voice. Beetlejuice asked what that is. Howard said he just tricked them. He said she turned out to be a dude. Howard let the guy talk to Beet for a little while longer. Howard said that guy had him fooled.

    Howard said people love when Beetlejuice is in. Howard said he loves Beetlejuice too. Beetlejuice said he loves Howard too. Howard said Beetlejuice should get pretty wealthy from this. He asked if he has an accountant to make sure he doesn't get ripped off. Beetlejuice said oh yeah. Robin told him not to forget them. Beetlejuice said he won't. He said Howard was there for him.

    Howard said the cleaning lady there left a message for Beetlejuice. Howard said he's not sure what she's talking about. Howard played the clip and she welcomed him back but asked him not to shit on the floor. Beetlejuice said that's not him. Howard said last time he was up there, a while ago, they found shit on the floor. Beetlejuice said maybe it was a different guy. Howard said Robin was blaming it on Beetlejuice. Robin said it wasn't her. She asked Howard what he's doing. Beetlejuice said he was way down south. Beetlejuice said maybe Robin did it because it wasn't him. Howard said it was probably Robin. Robin said she didn't shit on the floor. Howard asked if it was the Shit Fairy. Beetlejuice said it wasn't him. Robin said maybe it was Fred. Beetlejuice said it could be him.

    Howard said maybe it was Cousin Brucie. Beetlejuice said it could be him too. Howard said he told the cleaning woman it wasn't him. Beetlejuice said he wasn't even there. Howard said he thinks someone stepped in it too. He said they have to make sure he doesn't use that bathroom again.

    Howard gave Beet another plug for his Beetmoji app. Howard said it's all available for IOS and Android. Howard thanked him for dropping by today. Beetlejuice said to make sure to watch the fight tonight. He didn't say what fight that was but he said he has his guy fighting. He said his guy is training right now. Howard said he's going to take a break so he can hear more about this. Howard went to break after that.


  • Howard Takes Some Calls. 09/27/16. 7:45am
    After the break Howard came right back and said that was exciting with Beetlejuice saying that Trump won the debate. Howard said he has Mad Dog Russo announcing who is coming in today. Howard played the clip where Sour Shoes did his Mad Dog Russo voice announcing that Mad Dog Russo is coming in. Howard said Mad Dog works right there so it's easy for him to visit. Howard said that's cross promotion.

    Howard took a call from Tommy from Malden who said that Trump won the debate hands down. Howard said people who are for Trump think he won and Hillary supporters think she won. Howard said there's about 11 percent of people who can't make up their minds.

    Tommy said Kimberly on The Five last night looked amazing. Howard said she is very hot. Howard said he takes umbrage when she wears stockings. Howard said she should have her legs displayed without stockings. Howard said Roger Ailes was booted out of there and no one is telling women what to do on that channel. Robin said they better not. Howard said Roger would never allow that. Howard said he can see pants coming without him there. Howard said he has to say that Kimberly should not wear stockings. Tommy said he agrees. Howard said Robin knows he doesn't like it.

    Howard said that the guy who has made a big splash as a caller is this kid from Kuwait. Howard had the kid, Flamin, on the phone. Flamin said he's glad he called him that. He said he got into trouble for calling in. Howard said they have so much money over there and they could be making things so much better over there. Flamin said he loves his country and the people there but the government has some wrong policies over there. He said you get into trouble over there. He said he can't talk about his government anymore but he can't get into details about what happened. He said stuff happened and he can't talk about his government. Howard asked how they can get him out of that country. He said he has to get him into Canada. Flamin said he's saving up to go to New York. Howard said this kid is only 16. He said maybe he can adopt him.

    Flamin said he talked to Howard for like 30 minutes. He said he got 110 followers after that. He said he used to have 2 and one was his mom. Howard said they have so much money over there and you hear about the leaders getting the money and the people have no freedom and they're not living that well. Flamin said his parents get punished for what he does because he's so young.

    Flamin said he edits film and he won a medal for making a documentary. He said it was supposed to be 5 minutes but it was an hour and a half. Flamin said he got followed by Jackie and Jeff the Drunk. He said that he has insomnia and Jeff cam make him sleep like a baby.

    Howard asked if it's true alcohol is illegal over there. Flamin said it is but there is still some available there. He said he can't go into detail about that. Howard asked if it's true you have to be arms length from a woman when you talk to her. Flamin said that's not true. He said that it's preferred but it's not mandatory.

    Flamin said he thought he was going to be a nobody but it's so great that they're talking to him. Howard said his brother is in college so maybe he'll get to go to college in England. Flamin said he's not going to go to England. He said he'd rather choose the U.S.

    Flamin said he was told he can get a scholarship over there at the same university that Howard went to. He said he's taking the SATs this Saturday in school. He said hopefully he'll do good. Howard said just a coupe of weeks ago this kid had nothing going on and now Jeff the Drunk had Jackie are following him. Flamin said it's so cool that he has people following him and liking his posts. Howard said he's such a 16 year old.

    Howard said this kid is no different than a kid here. He said he just wants a break and an opportunity. Howard said he might force Gary to adopt this kid. Howard said he doesn't think he can open his house but Gary can. Gary said he would do that because the kid is awesome. Howard asked if he's a tall kid. Flamin said he's taller than his parents. Howard asked how tall he is. Flamin said he's 5'7'' or so. Howard asked if he's heavy or thin. Flamin said he's about average.

    Howard said when he and Beth fantasize about having a kid they want a chubby kid. Howard said they think they'd be good parents for a chubby, loser-ish type with skin blotches. Howard said he doesn't think they could take Benjy for a weekend. Howard said they see kids out sometimes and they think that's what their son would be like.

    Howard said this kid sounds so sweet to him. He said he's so full of life. Flamin said this is too much. He said he loves Howard. Robin asked if his parents would allow him to come to the U.S. Flamin said his father has been listening to Howard since he was 6. He said his dream would be to work for Howard some day. Howard said he'd be his son and he'd have to denounce his family. Flamin said he can't do that. He said he really loves them all.

    Howard told Flamin to take care of himself. He said get over here. He said we have freedoms like he wouldn't believe. Howard said if they build the wall he may not get in. Robin said they have to get him in before the election. Howard asked if he wears a special outfit. Flamin said he just wears shorts and rock band shirts. He said he wore a Nirvana shirt to his uncle's house once and they were disappointed. He said he can't get into details but it was a religious thing. He said he has a family picture where everyone is wearing the Kuwaiti uniform and he's wearing a t-shirt.

    Howard asked if he worries about attacks happening over there. Flamin said that they had an attack a year ago but it's actually a very peaceful place. Howard said if something happens there they'll be there to defend them because they have oil. Howard told Flamin to stay away from Anthony Weiner when he's online. Flamin said he will. Howard let Flamin go after that.

  • Speech Impediment Man's Wife Leaves Him. 09/27/16. 8:00am
    Howard asked if he took a break yet. Fred said he did but he should take another one. Howard said he hates taking breaks. He said that kid lives in Kuwait and it sounds like they don't have a lot of freedom there.

    Howard said Speech Impediment Man says his wife left him. Howard took the call and Speech Impediment Man said that he came home from work last night and his wife left a note saying she got a lawyer and it's pretty much over. Speech Impediment Man said he's afraid she's going to take all of his money. He said he has some money. Howard said he figured he didn't have any. Speech Impediment Man said he sold his house in Nashville and he had it in the bank. He said he has to go to the bank today to see if she cleared him out. Robin asked how long he was married. Speech Impediment Man said it'll be 3 years in October. He said he's sorry for bringing the show down but he has to get some help.

    Howard asked if he gave her his bank accounts. Speech Impediment Man said he sold his house in Tennessee and he didn't make a lot of money. He said he only makes like 20,000 and she makes like 65,000. Howard asked why he didn't just pay the bills himself instead of giving her access. Speech Impediment Man said he wanted to do that. Gary said Shuli knows a little bit about this. Gary said they're trying to figure out if she's from this country. Speech Impediment Man said she's from Detroit. Howard said

    Shuli came in and said he's not sure why this is a surprise to Speech Impediment Man. He said he's gained a lot of weight and he's always out alone. Speech Impediment Man said he met her on Howard said he must be the fish. Shuli said that Ass Napkin Ed also trolls women on that site. Howard said the first thing he has to do is call a lawyer. Speech Impediment Man asked for someone to suggest a lawyer. He said he's in Dallas, Texas. Howard said he has a guy on the phone who says he's a lawyer. Howard picked up and the guy was doing a voice like Speech Impediment Man. Howard asked him to talk to Speech Impediment Man about this. Speech Impediment Man asked for help and the ''lawyer'' mumbled something to him. Howard said he has the number 1 practice in Texas. The guy wasn't even making words at this point.

    Speech Impediment Man was asking them not to make fun but the ''lawyer'' was still doing his impression of him mumbling and throwing in a word here and here that made sense. The caller had Howard cracking up. Howard said it would be great if Speech Impediment Man had a lawyer with a speech impediment. Howard said he'd be a Speech Impediment Lawyer. Howard said he's not sure what to do here. Speech Impediment Man said Howard talked a guy off a ledge from jumping. Howard asked where his wife is now. Speech Impediment Man said he has no idea.

    Speech Impediment Lawyer mumbled something. Howard asked what his retainer is. Speech Impediment Lawyer said it's 30,000 dollars. Robin was cracking up. Speech Impediment Man said he's glad they think this is funny. Shuli said they didn't call him. Howard said he likes the new character Speech Impediment Lawyer. Speech Impediment Lawyer was still mumbling like Speech Impediment Man.

    Howard said they have to get down to business. Howard said he was married for 3 years and he wasn't paying attention to his wife. Howard said he gave her his bank account information. Speech Impediment Man said he was stupid. Howard asked why he had her on the accounts. Speech Impediment Man said he wanted to have her on the accounts in case something happened to him. She was the one who suggested it.

    Howard said Speech Impediment Lawyer is there in the studio now. Howard asked how he got there so fast. Speech Impediment Lawyer mumbled something about how he got here and said he has his diploma. Howard told him to get out of there. He said Speech Impediment Man just lost his wife. Howard told him to get back on the phone.

    Shuli said he wasn't even sure he was actually married until he heard this. Howard asked if she was hot. Speech Impediment Man said she was to him. Howard said he knew something was up with this marriage. Howard said he let himself go and he was running around doing all of this stuff. Shuli said he went balls to the wall with her. Shuli said Speech Impediment Man said she wanted to be on his account because she was afraid something might happen to him. Howard said he didn't have to put her on all of his accounts. Howard said he could have given her some money but not all of it.

    Howard had Speech Impediment Lawyer back on the phone. Speech Impediment Lawyer asked if Speech Impediment Man a question about his Social Security Number. Speech Impediment Man said he does. He asked if he has his mother's maiden name and some things like that. Speech Impediment Lawyer said they can steal her identity together.

    Howard said he wants to go through this. Speech Impediment Man said he won't get married again. Howard said he doesn't think he has to worry about that. Robin asked if he had no idea she moved out. Speech Impediment Man said yeah. Howard asked what the note said. Speech Impediment Man said this is a 30 day notice and she has talked to a lawyer and she's going to talk to the landlord and he has 30 days to get out. Howard asked if he has to leave the apartment. Speech Impediment Man said it's in her name. Howard asked how that happened. Speech Impediment Man said when she moved down there to Dallas first he was still in Tennessee. He said they had to rent that house out.

    Howard asked Speech Impediment Lawyer if he has the upper hand there. Speech Impediment Lawyer said he has to get some white out and white out her name. Speech Impediment Lawyer said he has lost every case but he thinks he can win this one.

    Howard said this is horrible. He said Speech Impediment Man has done everything he could do wrong. Howard said he has to go to the bank and get on the phone to lock up his money. Howard said there are plenty of lawyers in Texas. Speech Impediment Lawyer said he's the best in the world. Speech Impediment Man said the money is in a T-bill. He said that's at the bank. Howard asked how she can have it. He asked if she has the access to it. Speech Impediment Man said it's in an account. He said he knows what's in it. He said he has to see if he can get her name off of it.

    Howard said Brent thinks that Speech Impediment Man is screwed. Brent came in and said he has had one divorce himself. He said he's completely screwed. He said once you put names on joint accounts it's both of your money. He said that she can go and take it all out and it's legally her's. Brent said it sounds like she has a plan already. Howard asked if he can take the money out. Brent said he can. He said when you go to family court the guy ends up getting screwed. He said if they go into mediation then they might be able to split the money equally. Howard said all he knows is that Brent lost his hair in that deal.

    Howard said they know nothing about this but what should he do. Brent said he has to open an account in just his name. He said he has to file for divorce immediately too. He said then you can freeze assets and all of that. Brent said he has to go if the apartment is in her name too. He said there's nothing he can do about that. Howard asked what he thinks about Speech Impediment Lawyer. Brent said he should retain him because that's all he'll be able to afford. Brent said that the credit cards could get run up too and it'll be on his credit. Robin asked if he can close the credit card accounts. Howard said Brent used to work on the Bubba the Love Sponge Show, he doesn't know.

    Howard asked if Speech Impediment Man still loves her. Speech Impediment Man said yes but he can't trust her. He said it's over now. Howard said he feels blind sided and he'd be afraid to be with her now. Howard said he thinks Brent gave him some good advice. Howard said Speech Impediment Lawyer gave him some good advice too. Speech Impediment Lawyer said that wasn't free. He said he owes him some money.

    Howard took another call from a lawyer who was doing a Speech Impediment Man impression. Speech Impediment Man said this guy sounds worse than the other one. This lawyer said the other guy doesn't know what he was talking about. Howard said he sounds legitimate. Howard asked if he practices in Texas too. This lawyer said he has only lost half of his cases. He said he loves watching Gotham like Speech Impediment Man does.

    Howard said Speech Impediment Man was trying to find love and he found it in Mexico. Speech Impediment Man said it was in Michigan. Howard said this kind of thing happens every day. Howard let Speech Impediment Lawyer number 2 go after that. He said now Speech Impediment Man has two lawyers. Howard said the previous lawyer says that he has impeached his credibility and he wants to respond. Howard got Speech Impediment Lawyer back on the line and had the two Speech Impediment Lawyers arguing unintelligibly. Howard said maybe the two Speech Impediment Lawyer can work together as a dream team. He said he has to get them off the phone now.

    Howard said in all seriousness he has to say that this sounds like it came out of left field and his wife was prepared. Howard said he has to go out today and find a lawyer. He said he has to find out where his money is. Speech Impediment Man said right. Howard said he has to get a referral for a lawyer. Howard said this is the part where they act like they are concerned. Howard said it's 5 hours of goofing and then this. Howard said half of the marriages in this country end in divorce. Howard said all Wack Pack marriages end in divorce. Howard asked if they know any who haven't gotten divorced. Shuli said Bobo is married but he did get one divorce.

    Howard said they have to be optimistic here. Howard said maybe everything is fine with the bank account. He said maybe she's not looking to hurt him. Brent said that is possible. Speech Impediment Man said if he gets all of his money back he's happy. Howard said she got 30 grand in 3 years so she's not living high on the hog.

    Shuli asked what he got for the house he sold that he got 30 grand out of it. Speech Impediment Man said it was $145,000. Howard asked why Speech Impediment Man can't check his balance online. Speech Impediment Man said he doesn't know how to work that. He said that's why he's going down at 9 o'clock to check his balance. They goofed on Speech Impediment Man about not knowing his own bank account number and not knowing how to check his balance.

    Howard said this isn't funny. Shuli said it's heart breaking. Brent said divorce is very sad. Howard said Angelina Jolie is free. He asked when he last had sex. Speech Impediment Man said about 2 weeks ago. Howard said there was no indication then. Howard said maybe she isn't going to take his money. He said he's jumping to conclusions.

    Robin said he did say that he gave her money to pay the bills and she didn't pay the bills. Robin asked what he thinks happened. Speech Impediment Man said he has a little temper. He said if she's not paying bills on time he gets upset. Brent said imagine being berated by this guy. Howard said a lot of marriages end over finances. Howard said now he has Speech Impediment Man's banker on the phone. Howard took the call and had another guy doing a Speech Impediment Man impression as his banker. Howard had to cut him off after he said something he didn't want on the air.

    Howard told Speech Impediment Man to call him tomorrow to let him know what's going on. Shuli said he's sure it's going to go just fine. Howard said get down to that bank. Speech Impediment Man said he will. Howard said he doesn't even know his bank account balance. Howard said he's with him on this though. Shuli said he'll try to get some connections for him from a lawyer there in New York. Howard said Shuli has a steel trap mind when it comes to the law.

    Howard let Speech Impediment Man go and said that's the worst. He asked Shuli if he's going to cover the divorce. Shuli said he has known him a very long time so he will. Howard thanked Brent for coming in to help too. Robin said she thought it sounded good. Howard said it all sounds good until Brent throws shit into a fan and sprays you with shit and liquid ass. They went to break a short time later.


  • Beatles Special And Drug Discussions. 09/27/16. 8:40am
    After the break Howard came right back and said they got a lot of good feedback about Metallica yesterday. He said one guy asked about the pancakes that Lars eats and how he wanted the recipe. Howard said he eats like 20 of those a day to keep up the energy to play like he plays.

    Howard said the other thing he's excited about is this Revolver Beatles special they have coming up. He said it's the 50th anniversary of the album Revolver and they have a special coming up on October 7th on Howard 101. Howard said Fred played Living Color's version of ''Tomorrow Never Knows'' at the start of the show. Howard said that the special turned out great and he's really taken with the band OAR and with Jewel covering ''Eleanor Rigby.'' Howard played some of her performance.

    Howard said between this and Metallica he has a whole concert going on in his head. Howard said he has to listen to some of this Cheap Trick cover too. Howard played their cover of ''She Said She Said.'' Howard played the band Group Love covering ''For No One'' too. Howard said they all did a great job with these songs.

    Howard said the songs are beautiful. He said he's digging that OAR. He said they did a music special and then agreed to do this. Howard played some of their performance of ''I Want to Tell You.'' Howard said he loves this song too.

    Howard said James Taylor recorded a song in a closet in a hotel room. Howard said he did ''Here There and Everywhere.'' Howard said this is in a closet. He played some of that performance.

    Howard said John Lennon said that was one of his favorite songs. He said it was written by George Harrison. Howard said he thinks it was about his experiences with LSD. Howard said that's just what he's heard. Howard listened to the song and said he thinks that's exactly what it's about.

    Howard said his song about LSD would be about how he just wants it to stop and how he wishes he could take it back. Benjy asked if he did it again after that. Howard said yes. He said a couple of weeks later he went to see 2001 A Space Odyssey and he took a small hit. Howard said that was okay. He said he never did that again though. He said he smoked some weed after that but no more hard drugs. Howard said he can't even smoke weed. He said he's a complete mess after smoking it. Robin said she saw him driving after smoking and she thought they were all going to die. Howard said he can't drive after smoking it. Robin said she couldn't wait to get out of the car. Howard said weed is a gateway to him acting like a pussy. He said it doesn't end up well.

    Howard said the last time he tried weed was when he and his wife were in Mexico on vacation. Howard said they made love and she claims it was the best he's ever performed. He doesn't even remember it. Howard said she claims that he walked on the balcony and stood out there all night. He said he got all bitten up by mosquitos. Howard said she went to sleep and he was out there. Howard said it has some weird effect on him. Benjy asked about doing an illegal drug in Mexico and why he would do that. Howard said it was a guy he knew. He said he's not sure how he had it but he tried it. He said he was trying to fit in for once. Howard said he hates weed and all drugs but he thinks it should be legalized. Howard said just stay away from that nonsense. He said he has a glass of wine once in a while and that's it. Howard said he can't even do that because his liver levels were increased. He can't even drink coffee because he has a throat problem.

  • A New Phony Phone Call And More. 09/27/16. 8:50am
    Howard said he has this guy Ami on the phone. He works for FOX News and he always gets in a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' on the air. Howard asked what happened to him. Ami said he was in Stockholm doing some videos over there. He said came in with his crew and as soon as they walked in they were told to get the fuck out. He said his crew left and he stayed and tired to talk to them but they just pummeled him. He said they were beating the shit out of him. Howard said this guy is constantly putting himself in danger. Howard said he'd better be careful. Ami said he wants to get respect from Howard to be man enough to date Robin. Howard said he knows Ami is married so that won't happen.

    Howard said he has to move on and play a phony phone call. Howard asked Robin if she could ever date Mad Dog. Robin said he's too manic. Robin said he's running around all the time screaming. Howard said Robin can't take that at home. Robin said she's more mellow. Howard said he's thinking about the guys she's dated and they are mellow. Robin said maybe she should try something different because that hasn't worked out.

    Howard said Gary is into that thing Alexa and they have it in the office there. Howard said Gary is always talking to it. He said they recorded Gary talking to it. Howard said it's annoying. Howard played audio of Gary asking Alexa questions. Howard said it's so annoying. Gary said he was demonstrating how it works because he has one at home. Howard said they record him every time he does it. Howard said they called a woman named Alexa and had Gary ask her questions. Howard said this seemed like a good phony phone call opportunity.

    Howard played the call and they had Gary asking this woman named Alexa what time a baseball game was on, math questions, driving mileage, who Gary Patrick Dell'Abate was and things like that. She eventually figured out who he was. Howard said she must have nothing to do just like Gary. Howard said she was a good sport though. - As Seen on Howard Stern

  • Chris ''Mad Dog'' Russo Visits. 09/27/16. 9:05am
    After the break they played a remix of Ben Stern singing ''The Bear Went Over The Mountain,'' a phony phone call to the Live with Kathy internet show where they tried to convince her she called another radio show and Joe Bonamassa performing ''Taxman'' for the Beatles Revolver Howard 101 special.

    Howard came back and said he has Chris ''Mad Dog'' Russo there. Howard said he's a high energy guy. Mad Dog came in all worked up trying to high five Howard. Howard said he can't do that. He said he hurts him when he shakes his hand. Howard said he doesn't like that. Mad Dog said it's been 3 years to the day since he was in there. Howard asked how he has so much energy. He asked if he drinks coffee. Mad Dog said he drinks just one a day. He said this is a thrill for him to be in there. Howard said he has a lot of things to talk to him about.

    Howard said last night they had a lot on TV like the emotional Mets game and the debate. Mad Dog said it was a big weekend with Arnold Palmer passing away and Jose Fernandez passing away. Howard asked Mad Dog about who the biggest golfer is. Mad Dog said that Arnold is the most iconic. He mentioned Tiger Woods as being the biggest. Mad Dog went through some details about Arnold Palmer and how he was worth $625 million when he died because he invested well. He said he was an iconic figure. Howard said he figured out he could have endorsements. Mad Dog said that Arnold formed IMG too.

    Howard said Mad Dog was hit in the head with a golf ball in August. Mad Dog said he was on the 9th tee box at a course in Connecticut. He said he hadn't played in a while. He said he was 3 guys and he hit his ball. He said the other golfer was there next to him. He said the player hit him right in the head. He said he went to his knees and he went to the hospital to get stitches. He said the doctor told him if he's on TV he might want to get a professional to do the stitches so he did that. Howard said he hasn't been on TV since Letterman left. Mad Dog said that's true.

    Mad Dog said he went to get the stitches out and the doctor told him that if it hit an inch off from where it did he'd be dead. He said it would have hit him in the temple. Howard said the guy who hit him was a million to one shot. Mad Dog said he has played since but he had blood all over the place. He said he has played and he's not paranoid. Howard said they should go to helmets like in Football. Mad Dog said you can't wear a helmet on the course.

    Mad Dog got back to Arnold Palmer and talked about how he signed up with IMG in 1960. He said the last tournament he won was in 1973. He said he was all over the papers yesterday after dying. He said he hadn't won in over 45 years. Howard said he wasn't the greatest golfer of all time. Mad Dog said that's right. He said he was a TV star. Robin said there was no interest in golf until he was around.

    Howard asked Mad Dog about when he started out talking about sports. Mad Dog said he was a little more raw when he did it. Howard said he thought he was one of those guys who called into radio shows and got into it that way. Mad Dog said he always wanted to do that. Howard said he thought that he was Mike Francesa's reason for being popular but he's doing fine without Mad Dog. Howard said the two of them did a Radio City Music Hall special to raise money for charity. Howard asked if that was awkward. Mad Dog said it was a little bit.

    Howard said Mike is retiring from WFAN and the rumor was that they were reuniting but Mad Dog has a big announcement. Mad Dog said he has re-signed with SiriusXM. He said that he did that because Howard is sticking around. Howard said he made a bad deal last time. Howard said this time he must have done better. Mad Dog said that he told his agent that he would sign in 20 minutes if they got to this figure he had in his mind. He said Scott Greenstein got there and that was it. He said he is fair and he wanted to leave both sides happy. He said he doesn't want to be greedy.

    Howard said he's claiming that the entire negotiation was 20 minutes. Mad Dog said yes, essentially. Mad Dog said Greenstein has been tight with him for years. He said he told his agent to take more money in the third year so he has more to negotiate with next time.

    Howard said he has to think about that. Howard said he's saying take less first and second year and take more in the third. Howard said maybe he's saying they'll get rid of him in the second year. Mad Dog said they never fire you there. He said they'll be good to you for life.

    Howard asked if Mike is going to join him there. Mad Dog said he can never see him coming to a place where he was first. He said if they asked him to reunite with him he wouldn't say no to that. Howard said they have to talk about some other things too. Howard said Robin says he's too high energy.

    Howard said one of the things he learned about him is that he has the worst musical taste on the planet. Howard said he was carrying on about Karen Carpenter. Howard asked how old he is. Mad Dog said he's 56. Howard said this is Mad Dog pining over Karen Carpenter. Howard played a clip from his show where he was playing one of her songs and talking about how much the song meant to him.

    Howard asked Mad Dog for some documentaries that he should read that he can get on the Kindle. Mad Dog ran through a bunch of books that Howard should check out. Howard wrote them down. Howard said he's reading a Warren Buffet book that's fascinating. Mad Dog asked what topic. Howard said anything he thinks is strong. Mad Dog gave him a book about the Lucitania ship that was blown up in 1916. Howard said he won't read anything pre World War II.

    Howard asked what went wrong with Karen Carpenter. Mad Dog said it was her mother. He said her mother always thought she was chubby and took her for granted.

    Howard asked what the greatest Karen Carpenter song of all time is. Mad Dog said ''Top of the World.'' Howard played some of that and asked how that makes him emotional. Mad Dog said it's crazy. Howard said he's into Led Zeppelin and Kashmir, not this. Mad Dog said he's into Bruce Springsteen, the Rolling Stones and The Who too. Howard said he doesn't get it.

    Howard said this song doesn't make him feel anything. Mad Dog said this song makes him feel pensive. Howard said he used to do reports for Imus' show. Howard asked if he got along with him. Mad Dog said he did. He said he hasn't been in touch with him for about a year. He said his son is a cowboy so he's wrapped up in that.

    Mad Dog said ESPN has a 30 in 30 for him and Mike coming up. Howard said he's glad he re-signed there at Sirius. Mad Dog said he heard that someone called in and said that Howard talked about how he's the number 2 guy there. Howard said he may have said it but it doesn't make it true.

    Howard asked what he does for TV when he's got the Met game and the debate going on. Howard asked if he hates boats like he does. Mad Dog said he does hate boats. He said they had the debate and a little football too. He said he watched the debate. Howard asked if he went back and forth. Mad Dog said Trump is so entertaining. He said he's so funny. He said he wouldn't vote for him but he is entertaining. Howard asked if he's voting for Hillary. Mad Dog said he might with his hand on his nose. He said he votes independent. He said he agrees that we don't need all of the guns we have in this country. Howard said he's all for the second amendment and for people who are reasonable having guns.

    Mad Dog said you can't vote for the Libertarian candidate. He said he thinks that he can't vote. Howard said he has said all along that he's a Hillary supporter and he wanted her even before Obama was elected. Howard said he will vote for Hillary. He said he's said that all along. Mad Dog said he'll probably do the same. Howard said he told Trump that and Trump was fine with it. Howard said Trump was a supporter of her's for years too.

    Mad Dog asked if Chris Christie has been on the show. Howard said he was at the birthday show. Mad Dog said that he has to be upset with that bridge closure thing. Howard said that was a terrible thing. Mad Dog said that really bothers him.

    Howard said Mad Dog has been in New York working for years. He said he's not a fan of the New York teams though. Mad Dog said he's been there 30 years working and he hates the New York teams. Howard said that's a betrayal. Howard said he thinks he's looking for attention. Mad Dog said it might be him going back to his childhood. He said Jon Hein likes the Steelers. He said he gets that. Howard said now he's an adult and he should be a fan for the teams in his city. Howard said when he lived in Boston he rooted for the teams up there. Howard said now he's for the teams in New York. Howard said he roots for the Mets. Mad Dog said he's not that way. He said he was a fan of other teams growing up so that's who he likes.

    Howard said Lenny Dykstra was in there and Mad Dog gave it to him when he went on his show. Mad Dog said he really did give it to him. Howard said he called his book garbage and called him a dope. Mad Dog said he stands by it too. Howard said Lenny went off on him saying he dyes his hair and he has a hair weave. Mad Dog said come up with something better than that. Howard said Mad Dog has good hair. Mad Dog said Howard does too.

    Mad Dog asked Howard about not doing America's Got Talent anymore. He said he heard he gave that up so he has more time. Howard said he's less miserable doing the radio show doing it 3 days a week. Mad Dog asked Howard if he had to think about doing more time there. Howard said he had some other opportunities. Howard said they have built this thing up from 400,000 subscribers to over 30 million. Howard said he loves Jim Meyer. Howard said he likes what he's doing with the company. He said they have this universe of 30 million people and he's proud and happy to be there. Howard said he likes working with guys like Mad Dog too. Mad Dog said he loves Howard playing his sound clip and Sour Shoes doing his impersonation.

    Howard asked Mad Dog about Tom Brady going to Rome. Mad Dog said he should be home watching his team. Howard said there's a shot of him fully nude with his wife Giselle Bundchen. Mad Dog asked if Howard thinks she's pretty. Howard said she is a very good looking woman. Howard said she must be worth more than Tom Brady. Mad Dog said he can't believe he's not around watching the team. He said he knows he can't do anything now that he's suspended but come on. He said he should be in Colorado or West Palm Beach or something. Mad Dog said he would stick around and watch the games to get a sense of what's going on.

    Howard asked if he listens to every other radio show. Mad Dog asked if he's crazy. Howard said he doesn't think he has to watch all of the games. Howard said maybe he's going to be well rested. Mad Dog said he thinks he'll play very well when he gets back. Mad Dog said they're doing fine without him but that's because Bill Belichick is such a great coach. Howard said maybe he makes Brady the great quarterback he is. He said maybe Brady is thinking about that now.

    Howard said that it must have made Mad Dog crazy that Mike's show continued on and did well. Mad Dog said he wanted the show to collapse. He said Mike kept doing it and made more money. Mad Dog said he was hoping they'd come to him and say they made a mistake but that never happened. He said he had to beg Sirius to keep him. Howard said that's what's going on with Brady now. Howard said this could happen. He said he might come back and they might not play him. Mad Dog said they have to play him. He said he's a hall of fame quarterback.

    Howard said they could mess with Brady now because they are doing so well without him. Howard said it'll be like Mad Dog leaving Mike's show. Mad Dog said he almost had to go back to WFAN and beg for his job back. Howard said the plan there was to make that show collapse without Mad Dog. Howard said they succeeded without Mad Dog though. Mad Dog said they figured they could cut his salary in half. He said there was a time 3 years ago when he said he should have stayed with Mike. He said he did 5 hours day after day putting this brand on the air and then Mike soars and he can't go back to WFAN so Sirius figured they could cut his salary.

    Howard asked if he goes to therapy. Mad Dog said he goes twice a week. Mad Dog said that's what happened to him and that's what's happening to Brady.

    Howard asked if Mad Dog makes love with the passion he has on the air. Mad Dog said sometimes he does. He said his kids love that he's on Howard today. Howard said if he was a woman he'd be really afraid to make love to Mad Dog. Mad Dog asked him to move on to something else. Howard played a Karen Carpenter song. Howard said this is everything he hates about music. Howard said he played rock music when he was on the air. Mad Dog said they should be in the hall of fame. Howard said oh come on.

    Howard said he's glad that Mad Dog is staying there at Sirius. Howard said he loves when Sour Shoes calls in as him. Robin said they can't tell him apart from Mad Dog. Howard said it would be fun to have Sour do the whole fucking show and see if anyone knows. Mad Dog said he thinks they'd pick up on it after an hour or so. Howard said if he's that good Scott Greenstein will hire him.

    Howard asked Mad Dog about the guys like Colin Kaepernick not standing up for the national anthem. Mad Dog said he thinks that people have the right not to do that. Mad Dog said black players have had a tough time over the years. He said we understand we are not to be proud of that. He said this is America and if you don't want to stand up you can do that. He wondered if you should be able to do that if you're in uniform for a franchise. Howard said he wonders why they play the Star Spangled Banner at every game. Mad Dog said it's too much. Howard said they should do away with the whole fucking thing. Howard said he's all for patriotism and he loves this country so much he won't even leave it. Mad Dog said that the TV networks go to commercial when they play the National Anthem at NFL games.

    Robin asked what they're supposed to do. Mad Dog said when you're representing a franchise in uniform you should not kneel. He said if he wants to do it somewhere else that's fine. Robin said these guys are acting like leaders but they are not.

    Howard asked what Mad Dog would do if he was dating a woman who had really bad breath. Mad Dog said he'd tell her eventually. He said maybe not on the first date. He said he'd give her some gum and maybe some parsley. He said he heard that helps. Howard asked about Tim Tebow and if he has any talent in baseball. Mad Dog said not at all. He said he thinks the Mets did it to sell out some minor league games. He said the Mets try to sell you the idea that he's a legitimate prospect. He said he's 28 and he has done nothing. He said it was wrong of them to do that. Howard asked if he's a good guy. Mad Dog said he thinks Tebow means well.

    Howard asked if Tebow could possibly still be a virgin. Mad Dog said he can't believe that. He said a guy like that can't be a virgin. Howard said a couple of years ago he was dating a supermodel and she broke up with him saying he wouldn't have sex with her. Howard asked Gary if that's the story they heard. Gary said yes but it was a long time ago. He said it was maybe when he was in college. Howard said it was more recent than that.

    Howard said he thinks there's a lot to discuss. He said Mad Dog had a lot to say about the gorilla being killed in the cage. Mad Dog said that the people were upset about killing the ape when a 3 year old got into that enclosure. Howard asked what's going on with the zoos where they can't keep kids out. Mad Dog said he'd have to ask the zoo about that. Mad Dog said she had 3 kids and you can lose sight of your kid for 20 seconds. He said they were going to try to tranquilize the gorilla. He said that ape had to go! Howard asked if he worries that the apes could rebel. Mad Dog said this isn't Planet of the Apes.

    Mad Dog asked what Howard's take on that was. Howard said they had to kill the ape. Robin said the ape was just being an ape.

    Howard asked if Miley Cyrus being on The Voice is a good move or not. Mad Dog said he can't comment on that. He doesn't care about that stuff. Howard said he thinks he's about done when he gets to talking about Miley Cyrus.

    Howard gave Mad Dog a plug for his radio show. Mad Dog asked how Metallica was yesterday. Howard said they were fantastic. Mad Dog said that having Billy Joel in there for an hour and 25 minutes was great too. Howard said when a band comes in there and plays for just them it's so great. He said it's great to see the musicianship. Howard said they played 3 songs yesterday. Mad Dog asked how many guys are in the band. Howard said they have four members. He said he talked to all four of them. Mad Dog said that's a tremendous job. Howard talked about the Billy Joel interview too. Mad Dog said the Hugh Grant interview was good too. Mad Dog asked if Tom Hanks has ever been in there. Howard said he has never had him on. He said he's supposedly a fan too. Howard said he'd like to talk to him. Mad Dog asked who his must haves are. Howard said he wants the Stones. He said he wants to talk to Mick and Keith.

    Howard asked Mad Dog what movies he wants to see. Mad Dog said there's a new Will Smith movie coming out in December. He said there's another movie that's coming out that he wants to see about some Supreme Court case. Howard asked what he watches on TV. Mad Dog said he doesn't watch a ton. He said he likes Homeland and Boardwalk Empire. He loves sports so much. Howard asked if he prefers The Bachelor or Dancing with the Stars. Mad Dog said if he had to pick one he'd pick Dancing.

    Mad Dog asked if Bruce Springsteen has ever been in there. Howard said he hasn't. He said he's another guy who should come in. Mad Dog asked if Colbert, Fallon and those guys are good. Howard said he loves all of them. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel is close. He said that he would love to have David Letterman on but he doesn't think Dave will come on. Howard said Dave has been on the show. He said he'd love to interview him now.

    Mad Dog asked if Howard has had any presidents in there. Howard said no. He said he had Arlen Spector in there when he was around. Howard said he had Speech Impediment Man on earlier. Mad Dog said he heard that. Mad Dog asked what athletes he's had on. Howard said he had Pete Rose, Joe Frazier, Lenny Dykstra, Wayne Gretsky, Mickey Mantle, Mike Ditka and others. Howard told him to leave him alone with that.

    Mad Dog told Howard about another book he'd be interested in. Howard said they have to be on a Kindle. Mad Dog said his kids love Howard. He said he has 17, 15 and 14 year olds. He said they love Howard. Howard said everyone wishes he was their dad. Howard said it was good to see him. Mad Dog said it shouldn't be every 3 years. He said they should pop in once in a while. Howard said he was hoping to have Sour Shoes on the phone. Howard asked how he's not on the phone. Gary said they can't find him. Howard said maybe he's with Mike doing a show with him.

    Howard wished Mad Dog luck with his show. Howard asked when it's on. Mad Dog said he's on 3-6pm. Howard gave him some plugs and asked what he's going to do now. Mad Dog said he has to do the MLB Network show. He said he does that from 1-2 and then he does his show 3-6. He said he's paid well doing that too. Howard asked if he makes more from them. Mad Dog said it's tight. Howard said they really hammered him in that negotiation. Mad Dog said he should have had Howard negotiate for him. He said maybe Don Buchwald should have done it. Howard said he gets 1 billion dollars a week. Howard said he's worth 52 billion. Mad Dog said he's not worth anything close to that.

    Howard wrapped up with Mad Dog and said he's said enough. Howard played him a little Karen Carpenter music as he was wrapping up. They went to break after that. As they went to break they played a phony phone call the guys made to a guy using Mad Dog Russo audio clips.


  • Robin's News. 09/27/16. 10:15am
    After the break Howard came right back and said that Mad Dog has some energy. Howard said there are two people watching and he considers them friends even though he just met them. Howard said this is Mike and Robin and they donated to North Shore. Howard asked where they're from. They're from New Jersey but originally from Long Island. Howard asked what the secret of their marriage is. Mike said it's a good sense of humor. He said that's why they like Howard and Robin so much.

    Howard thanked them for donating money. Robin asked if they like cats. They said they like cats and dogs. They just lost their dog recently so they donated in her name. She lasted 13 years. Mike said she was thousands of dollars in vet bills. Howard said he knows about that. He said he feels like he's supporting every cat in the country. Howard said maybe these guys will adopt that Kuwaiti kid.

    Howard said it's time for some news. They played a song parody about Robin's boobs to get her started. Howard said the phony phone call they did yesterday to the Live with Kathy show got a lot of kudos. Howard read some email they got about that and some other things. Howard said a vinyl fan is very upset with him too. He went off on Howard about his hatred of vinyl.

    Howard said they say that Donald Trump got in trouble this morning on Fox and Friends. Robin said she's reading about that now. Howard said he fat shamed a Miss Universe. Howard had some audio of Trump talking about that. He said she gained a massive amount of weight and she had a bad attitude too. Howard said some people are getting upset about that. Gary said he thinks it's because Hillary talking about him denigrating women and how he talks about women getting fat. Gary said Trump referred to her as Miss Piggy and Hillary brought that up. Howard said now she's the size of the universe. Howard said it seems like they're talking about this nonsense and not the real issues as usual.

    Robin read about how Rosie O'Donnell has responded to Trump mentioning her last night in the debate. Robin said Rosie wrote on Twitter that he will never be President. Robin said she also said that he's an orange anus. Howard said he went to bed around 10:15 and he missed him bringing her up. Robin said Trump was talking about how he was only tough on Rosie and no one feels sorry for her. Howard said he thinks that she wants to be done with this. Robin said she's not sure about that. Howard asked who the supporters are voting for. Robin said she's voting Hillary and Mike said he's doing a write in for Bloomberg. Howard said Robin has a great body. He said she must not weigh more than 100 pounds. Howard said she was a cheerleader. She said she went to the same school as Howard and graduated before he did. Howard said she looks good. Howard said they both went to South Side. Howard said he hated Roosevelt.

    Robin read about Mark Cuban being in the audience last night at the debate. Robin said he's backing Hillary Clinton. Robin said he's claiming that he's getting death threats from Donald supporters. Robin said at one time he said he would be a running mate for either but now he's in the Clinton camp.

    Robin said Howard is an animal lover. Howard said they have cats everywhere. Robin said they were talking about Leon yesterday. Robin asked if he would want to be buried with his cat. Howard said sure. Robin said in New York they have a new law saying that you can be buried with your pet's ashes. Howard said he would do that. Howard asked why it would be illegal. Robin said she has no idea. Howard said that's why he doesn't like people. He said someone actually thought that was a bad idea.

    Robin read a story about how they had a computer write a song as if it was one of the Beatles. Howard said he heard about this and the song is horrible. Howard said he can't find it so Fred hit one. Fred played a couple of song parodies about Robin instead. He played a Beetlejuice song too. They eventually found the song Robin was talking about. Howard said it sounds more like something the Beach Boys would do. Howard said the song is horrible. He said that they're putting out an album of robot songs and this is what it came up with after programming in Beatles stuff. Robin said it's impressive it can write any music but it's not that good. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

    Howard asked Mike and Robin if they work. Mike said he's a physician. He said he's an MD. Howard said that's impressive. Mike said he does reproductive medicine. Mike said he has one of the biggest IVF facilities in the United States. Howard said he wishes he was a dermatologist. Howard said he has a thing going on. He said he was taking photographs in the woods. Howard said he likes to paint from photographs he takes. Howard said he checked himself for ticks after going into the woods. He said he doesn't have Beth check because he doesn't want her seeing his body. Howard said he had a neurotic fit that he had a tick. He said he had one on his balls once. He said Beth had to pull that off. Howard said he was examining himself and he found something near his balls and asshole. He thought it was a tick. Howard said he started tugging on it and he was tugging and tugging. He said it may have been a skin tag. Howard said he thought he might have to show Beth. Howard said this was near his balls. He said he put on a robe and covered most of his body so she wouldn't have to see anything but his hairy taint. Howard said he got in the robe and put his foot up on the counter. He said he manipulated his testicles to the side and had Beth check. Howard said she got on her knees to check. He said she told him it was just a skin tag. Howard said he'd show Mike right now if he was a dermatologist.

    Howard asked Mike if he ever goes home and laughs at people. Mike said he never has to see balls but he has never laughed when he goes home. Howard said he knows his doctor does.

    Mike said that Robin worked in the business that Howard is in. Robin said she worked at WNEW and another station. She did the news for Scott Muni. She said her on air name was Robin Sagon. Howard asked if she ever did talk ups for songs. Robin said she didn't. Howard showed off by talking up an AC/DC song. Howard said that was beautiful. Howard asked her to do one. Robin said she has never done that. Howard asked her to do it. She tried it but Howard cut her off saying on wonder they threw her off. Howard asked what kind of money she made at WNEW. She said she worked at CBS too. Howard asked what her biggest pay day was. She said 50 grand. Howard asked if she quit when she met Mike. She said she supported him for a long time actually.

    Robin read a story about how riding roller coasters might help knock kidney stones out. Robin said they say bungee jumping also helps. Howard asked how Mike likes that. Mike said that's fascinating. Robin said they did this study by going to Disney World and using real kidney stones in a kidney model to find out if this would work. Howard said he hates those rides. Robin said he hates everything. Howard asked Robin if she misses radio. He asked how long she was on. She said she was on for 25 years.

    Howard asked who she hung with other than Scott Muni. She said she hung out with Meg Griffin. She hung out with Dave Herman who did a talk show with her. Howard said he's not sure what was going on with Dave Herman near the end. Howard asked if she ever worked with Cousin Brucie. Robin said she did. She said she said something about Dick Clark that upset him. Howard did his Cousin Brucie impression for a short time. Howard asked if she dated anyone famous. She said she dated Randy Newman. She said she didn't bang him though. She said she lost her job around that time too. Howard asked if she made out with him. She said she did. She said she didn't have sex though. Howard asked how far they went. She said they just made out.

    Howard asked if she dated any of the other jocks. She said no but she hesitated so Howard took that as a yes. Howard asked if she was friends with Meg. She said she was. She said Meg was married at the time. Howard said Meg wouldn't even look at him. Mike said Meg likes horses so Howard should have gotten into that. Howard said no way he was going to do that.

    Howard asked if Robin ever worked with Zacherley. She said she did. She said she worked with him just once or twice. Howard asked if she banged him. She said she didn't. Howard said he was great. Howard said she's a real radio pro. Howard said she knows them all. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

    Robin got back to her news and talked about how depressing the show Transparent has gotten this season. That led to Howard talking about how there's something called Gender Non-Binary. Howard played a clip of a person talking about how they don't identify with either sex. Howard said people are just making stuff up now. Howard said he's thinking this is like a Jews for Jesus kind of thing. He said he understands transgender, gay, bisexual and all of that but he's not sure if he's going for this non-binary thing. Robin said there is a movement to erase pronouns. Howard said he might be for that.

    Robin read a story about a woman who is suing a hospital over the way they treated her son as a girl. Robin said the girl committed suicide after her stay at the hospital. Robin said the mother thinks that may have contributed to it. Howard said that has to be tough being a doctor when all of this is going on. He talked to Mike about that for a minute.

    Howard asked Mike about his job and how he gets to see a lot of women's bodies. Mike said the body is a very diverse thing. He said that he does a fair amount of surgery too. Howard asked if he's ever caught a whiff. Howard said he knows that confidential. Howard said he can imagine what goes on down there. Howard said his buddy Lou became an eye surgeon. Howard said he thinks about the downside and the upside of those jobs. Howard asked if patients ever flirt with him. Mike said they have to draw lines there. Howard said he would be professional. Howard wondered if a beautiful woman came in to be examined and she's naked there. He wondered if he would go home and masturbate or keep it professional. Mike said you have to keep it professional. Howard said Mike seems like a good man. He said his wife seems like a good girl too. Mike said it's fascinating to them to have different career paths. Howard said his wife did date Randy Newman so maybe she did step over the line. Howard said he thinks he dated everyone he interviewed when he was single though.

    Robin read a story about Elon Musk and how he's expected to share his plans for a city on Mars. Robin said he's going to reveal a Mars spaceship that can carry 100 people to Mars. Robin said Musk will be talking about this today at 1:30 Central time.

    Howard said he has a clip of Robin Sagon doing a news clip. Howard played the clip of his guest reading a news story on a radio station. Howard said look at her. Howard asked if she ever blurted out that she banged Randy Newman. Robin said she did not. Howard said that must have been early on at WNEW. Howard said they got rid of the news eventually. Robin said they did phase it out. Howard said his crack staff found a ton of clips. Howard played another one where Robin read some news. Howard said she sounds so professional. Howard said he sometimes listens to his own show in the shower to hear if it sounds professional to him and it never does. Howard did another live commercial read after that.

    Robin got back to her news and read a story about morning sickness and a study that was done that found nausea indicates a healthy pregnancy. Howard said of course it does. Howard said they came up with a drug that helped with nausea but it caused Zika like babies. Howard said that you just have to deal with the nausea.

    Howard asked mike what the success rate is with IVF. Mike said it has to be broken down to the age of the female. He said they have seen a 45 year old get pregnant with her own eggs. He said they can get just about anyone pregnant with someone else's eggs. He said he's seen a 52 year old get pregnant that way. Mike said in New Jersey they have mandated infertility health coverage. Howard asked how much it costs to do that. Mike said insurance covers 80 percent of their patients. Howard asked what it would cost him. Mike said it's $10-15,000.

    Robin read about today being national voter registration day. Robin read about where these voter registration centers will be set up. Robin said if you need to register today is the day.

    Howard asked if Mike has ever gotten a woman pregnant with the wrong egg. Mike said he has not had that problem.

    Robin read that Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts have split after 11 years. Howard said he was shocked by that. Howard said he met Naomi once but he didn't get to talk to her about her marriage. Robin said Goldie Hawn says the key is not to get married. Howard said she has a good relationship with Kurt Russell. Robin said that's right.

    Robin said a lot of people were asking Trump why he was so angry last night. Robin said he's saying that there may have been an equipment malfunction. Howard said there was no difference. Trump claims he had a defective microphone. He said it wasn't working properly. Howard said he didn't detect that at all actually.

    Howard took a call from a guy who asked if his guest Robin meant that she worked at WOR or WLIR. Robin said it was WLIR. The caller said that Rosco didn't work there. Robin said he did come there at least once. The caller said that people should look up Rosco. Howard said he really doesn't care so he's going to hang up on this caller.

    Robin had more about the debate last night and had Howard play some audio clips of people talking about the debate. Robin said the polls are saying different things. Robin said one poll says that Trump won with 80 percent of the vote and another said Clinton won with 67 percent. Robin said there's no way to declare a winner at this point.

    Robin said that Lester Holt is being criticized for not controlling the candidates during the debate. Robin had a clip of someone critiquing Holt about that. Howard said he thought he did a good job.

    Howard went into an impression of his mother talking about how she wanted Mike to get her pregnant with a black baby. Howard said if she goes to him she should shave down that bush. He had his mother talking about how that's how a woman should look down there.

    Robin asked if Howard thinks his mother had an extensive sexual history. Howard got back into his impression and had his mother and father talking about the sexual history. Howard had his dad asking ''who?'' when his mother was saying she was on the phone with Robin. Howard had his mother talking about how she had sex once she met her husband. She said everyone is hung up on sex and it's enough of that. Howard did that for a few minutes.

    Robin read a story about menopause and had some audio clips of a doctor talking about the drive to move after menopause.

    Robin read a story about the Marlins beating the Mets last night and it was their first game since the loss of Jose Fernandez. Robin had some audio clips of some of the players talking about Jose. Howard said Gary said it was the saddest thing he's ever seen. Gary said everyone was crying. Gary said it was so sad he's sorry he watched it.

    Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.


-- Monday --

  • The Rest Of This Week Is Archived.
    To keep the loading time of this page a little shorter I've filed the rest of this week's news in the archives. Click Here to view this week's archive.
    • Richard Flew To Germany For Oktoberfest. 09/26/16. 7:00am
    • Fake Donald Trump Calls In. 09/26/16. 7:30am
    • Beatles Revolver Anniversary Special Coming Soon. 09/26/16. 7:35am
    • Hit 'Em With The Hein Clips. 09/26/16. 7:55am
    • Phone Calls, Prank Calls And More. 09/26/16. 8:10am
    • Anthony Weiner Discussions. 09/26/16. 8:35am
    • Metallica Performs Live. 09/26/16. 8:55am
    • Recovering From Metallica. 09/26/16. 10:30am
    • Robin's News. 09/26/16. 10:35am
    • To Be Archived Later This Friggin Week.
    • To Be Archived Later This Friggin Week.
    • To Be Archived Later This Friggin Week.

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