- RIP Stan Lee. 11/13/18. 7:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: Evil Dave Letterman recording session outtakes, John Fogerty performing ''Bad Moon Rising'' and ''Fortunate Son'' at the 2014 Howard Stern Birthday Bash.
Howard started the show talking about how many years they've been doing this. Robin said its been 37 with her. Howard said that's enough. He asked how she knows that. Robin said they started in 1981. She said it's 2018 now. Howard said she's good with math. He said she's some kind of savant. He said it's a lot of moving parts with that. He said he'd have to sit down and figure it out. He said he met Fred a couple of years before that. Robin said he was doing it on his own too. Howard said he's still trying to figure out how long he's been doing it.
Howard said he'd like to say a few words about Stan Lee who was the co-creator of Marvel comics. He said a lot of little boys played sports or learned from their dad. He said Stan was like his dad because he learned a lot from him. He said that he hoped one day here would be a TV show that was like a real life comic book. He said that came about eventually. He said he was into comic books and Soupy Sales as a kid. He said that his cousin Jack Adler painted the covers for comic books so he got copies of them. He said he loved DC Comics and his cousin Jack. He said when you looked through the Stern Family tree there weren't many glamorous jobs. He said his dad was in kind of a glamorous job. Fred played Ben Stern doing his ''proper modulation'' thing.
Howard said his teacher was very happy to meet his dad because he had that job that was like being in show business. He said his cousin Jack was the man because he was really in the business. He said that Jack was treated like a bit of a star too. He said he wasn't around his cousin jack much though. He said he was older than his dad. He said he was always kind to him though. He said he'd send him a care package of all the latest comics. He would let other kids borrow them and he'd hope they'd return them. He wanted to save them. He said he hates sharing.
Howard said he loved Superman, the Flash, not Green Arrow though. He said he read it but didn't like it. He said he liked Aquaman enough. He said he liked the characters that had super powers.
Howard said Stan Lee there's always controversy with. Robin said they weren't crediting his partner in the news yesterday. Howard said that's what happens when you pass away. He said that Stan was amazing. He said he wanted to be a writer. He said he wanted to write novels. Then reality hits and you have to get a job and your dreams go away. He said that Stan's cousin had a comic book company and Stan went and filled ink wells for the illustrators and things like that. He said he rose rapidly in the organization. He said he had some writing ability too. He said he wrote Obituaries and things. He said that's what you have to learn to write if you get into journalism. He said you have to start out there.
Howard said Stan's cousin's place went under and then Stan went to work for Marvel. He said he rapidly became the publisher. He said Stan came up with a lot of characters. He said he had a lot of partners in the business. He said Stan was a driving force in it. He said he was leading it in the lean times too. He said that it was a bit sad because he never owned any of these characters. He said when you see the movies Stan wasn't getting a lot of money for what he created. He said he was an amazing guy.
Howard said he had a lot of interaction with Stan. He said that they were going to make a movie together. He said that Stan died yesterday at the age of 95. He said he had so many characters. He rattled off a bunch. Howard said that those characters add up to 22 billion dollars in the movies.
Howard said he created so many characters. Robin said she read that he co-wrote some of the characters. Howard said Stan would come up with some of the characters with a team. He said the artist would come up with panels and Stan would fill in the dialog. He said the artist would be driving the story line. Robin said he loved working with one particular guy. Howard said it was Stan and Jack Kirby who was amazing. He said it was Steve Ditko too. He said there were others too. Robin said Stan liked that one in particular. Fred played Riley Martin saying ''Willie Fistergash.''
Howard said that the characters at Marvel were kind of more real than the DC Comics were. He said that they had more realistic lives. He said that there was an adult quality to his writing. He said he thinks that's why they became more immortalized.
Howard said this clip he has from 1962 (?) is Stan Lee talking to Larry King about how he came up with Spider-Man.
Howard said he remembers the Spider-Man cartoon in the 60s. He said that he watched every one of those things but he wanted something real. He said they see now that it's a multi billion dollar industry. He said the Ramones covered the Spider-Man song. He said he didn't know that until today. He played the song.
Howard said he can't imagine what it was like for Stan to see all of these characters in the movies, TV shows, musicals and rides.
Howard had a clip of Paul Rudd talking about what a great guy Stan Lee was. Howard said when Stan was about 80 years old he called into the show and said they should talk about making a movie. Howard said he thought he was kidding. He said the idea that he was even calling into the show was mind blowing to him.
Howard said his agent knows every conversation he has. He said Gar remembers this too. He said he barely remembers the conversation he had with Stan. He said that he's had Alzheimers all his life apparently. He said he thinks he's producing himself from feeling anything by not acknowledging things. He said that what's happened in his life is that he's had amazing moments in his life and he has to soak in the details. He said that what happened was somehow Stan Lee contacted him and he had some guy he worked with. He said that it got to him that he had created all of these characters and he created a company named Excelsior. He said that he worked with some other old guy. He said they both sounded like they had one foot in the grave. Howard said they got on the phone and Stan said he was going to create a super hero character for him. He said he had some ideas he wanted to tell him about. He said this other guy was backing him up. He said he was like the cheerleader. He said that guy would get excited too.
Howard said he remembers some conference calls going down and talking about these characters. He said he wishes he could remember all of this. He said he was creating a character for him. He said he came up with a story line that was something about him being a radio guy living in a broken down shack. He said he gets visited by an alien who caught on to him through the radio waves. He said then this alien comes in and bestows some super powers on him. He said it was very involved. Howard said this wasn't young Stan Lee either. He said that he was thinking that maybe the magic was still there or maybe not. He said he created a whacked out story about a guy being bitten by a spider. He said this was the same guy and the same kind of story. He said he wasn't sure it would work. He said he thinks the thing that threw him was that comic books are very serious business. He said there has to be a believability. He said that it had to be funny or goofy because it was him. He said it was kind of campy and that's what he hated about the old Batman. He said he told Stan he didn't want to waste his time. He said he wishes he had finished the process of developing it with the guy. He said that he was so nice on the phone and so open to his ideas. He said he was full of ideas himself.
Howard said he thinks Stan was a fan of Private Parts. He said it was really heady stuff. He said he just never went on with it. He said he has a million stories like that in his career. He said he thinks about how maybe he should have done some of those things. He said he thinks Stan was kind of miffed at him over that. He said he hopes he didn't see it as an insult. He said maybe he did.
Howard said he's not sure how many phone calls they had over it. He said that it got into them making a formal business deal and all of that. He said his agent would know about that.
Howard said it was quite an honor to be thought of by Stan Lee. He said he was the loneliest kid and comic books were his friends. He said fuck you Fred, where were you?
Robin said Howard's mother got rid of his comic books. Howard said his cousin gave him every edition of every comic book. He said his mother told him one day that they got rid of them and gave them away do the boy down the block, Arthur Tobiason. Howard said it was either Robert or his brother. He said he barely knew that kid.
Howard did his mother's voice talking about how filthy dirty those comic books were. He said she made him put them in the basement. He said it was only two small piles. He said he only saved the best ones. Howard had his mom talking about giving them away. Howard said he had nothing in his room. His mother didn't let him hang anything on his walls or anything like that. He said his mother didn't want him to do any of that. He said she went off on him for having t-shirts on his bed. He did her voice talking to him about that stuff.
Howard said he just sat there and stewed when she gave away his comic books. Howard had his dad telling him to get a job at 12.
Howard said those guys who got his comics are probably millionaires from selling them. Howard said the guys gave him this clip and Mike Francesa said that he doesn't know who Stan Lee is. Howard asked if that's possible. Robin said anything is possible. Howard played a clip of Mike talking about how he doesn't know who that is. Howard said maybe that's shtick. He said he has to know about the comic books. He said Marvel is a huge thing in the industry.
Howard said it's possible he's never heard of him. He said that he has been reading about Mike in the paper lately. He said that he knows he worked with Mad Dog. He said he's at war with another sports show. He said he loves it when guys are at war in radio. He said he loves it when Bob Grant and Alex Bennett were at war on the same station. He said he thinks that was real stuff.
Howard said Mike Francesa is apparently getting into it with the guys on the same station. He said there's a lot going on with all of that.
Howard said he loved it when they were at war too. He said now he doesn't even care to be in a war. He said he's done it already. He said once you win a million wars it's over. He said there's nothing to fight about.
Howard said rest in peace Stan Lee. He said he was a loyal DC guy but he loved Marvel too. Howard said he has Batman on the pone. He said he's happy that Stan Lee is dead. Howard took the call from the guys in the back who were doing the voice. Howard spent a minute with him and then took a call from Hulk who was in mourning over Stan's death. Hulk was upset and crying in the shower. This was TV show Hulk, not movie Hulk. He had the music playing from that TV show. Howard said that was one of the first times they took that character seriously on TV.
Howard said the way he was treated as a kid was almost not human. He said that he treated his kids so differently. He said he came home and it was like going to prison. He said they'd just take his stuff away.
Howard did more of his mother's voice talking about how good he had it under her roof. Howard's mom said there were rules under her roof. She said those comic books were taking up space in the house. She said they got rid of the filthy dirty things down there. Howard had his dad talking about how they get rid of everything that's not necessary. Howard had his dad telling him he'd lucky they didn't throw him out of the house. He said he's too old for comic books. His mom was saying the comic books were full of grit.
- Howard's Pee Strategy. 11/13/18. 7:40am
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this is so funny. He said he can't believe he had the opportunity to do a movie with Stan Lee. He said that has to be one of his biggest regrets. Howard said it's really not. He said he has a good sense of these things. He said that he liked Stan and he liked talking to him on the phone. He said that he would write down these things and they'd go through this stuff. He said he felt like he was a little annoyed with him that he didn't sign on. He said he didn't feel right about it though.
The caller also mentioned the paper towels in the bathroom discussion that they had yesterday. He said the blowers they have now sucks in the shit air and blows it on your hands. Robin said she did that story and she's not sure how close you have to be but they're surely sucking in something in big public bathrooms.
Howard said he has a theory. He said he never touches his penis when he pees. He said he doesn't want to wash his hands. He said he thinks that he gets dirtier washing his hands. He said if he doesn't touch his penis at all then he shouldn't have to. He said if you touch things in there then you're getting germs. Howard said his penis is small so he can pull his underpants down and pee. He said he has tissues in his underpants to absorb the dribbling. He said that he's able to pull them down and presses against his balls with the underpants. Robin said she's shocked he doesn't get wet. Howard said he has to shake his penis around to get it a little long.
The caller said now he's got shit air blowing around. Howard said he hooks his penis and his underpants are holding it up. He said he doesn't use his hands. He said his penis goes back in the tissues in his underpants. He said he hasn't touched anything in the bathroom. He asked if he has to wash his hands. Robin said he has hand sanitizer with him. She said that always seems to be his go to. Howard said it is in many cases. Howard said what he's asking is if he has to wash his hands. Robin said she doesn't think so but she's not sure. Howard said doody is a different story.
Howard said Ralph wants to talk about Stan Lee. He took his call and Ralph said maybe he drips because of the way he holds his penis with the elastic in his underpants. Robin said Howard should write a song based on that. Howard said Robin got a lot of compliments about her Yoko Ono cover. Howard said Dan Foreman wrote him and said that he just wrote her a letter complimenting her. Robin said he did write her. Fred played some Robin outtakes from the songs she did. Ralph said she sounds like Elephant Boy. Ralph said he can't believe that John loved her music. Howard said he was in love. He said that he must have liked her creativity.
- Emily Ratajkowski, Arizona Senator And Pam Anderson Talk. 11/13/18. 7:45am
Howard said he has to say something that's on his mind. He said this new senator from Arizona is so hot. He asked if she's a playmate or something. Robin said she's no playmate. Howard said he wants to see her naked. He said she has a law degree. He said she's also bi-sexual. He asked how hot that is. Ralph said she's the best senator ever. Howard said that Trump is saying that he wants a recount. He said he doesn't want one in his own election. He said he should want to have a private meeting with her. Howard said he looked up her age and she's 42. He said she's divorced and looks like a 9 but an 11 in Congress. Howard said here are no Emily Ratajkowski like pictures. He said he hates himself for this but he was looking at Emily yesterday. He said there's a 20 minute video of her on a beach. He said that she's with a friend who isn't that ugly but she might as well be a man next to Emily. He said that Emily was walking around in this tiny bikini and it's crowded as can be. He said guys are acting like they're not looking at her but they're all there. He said that she goes up to a hot dog stand and she stands there in this string bikini. He said he was watching it for 25 minutes and disgusted with himself.
Howard said Busy Phillips has started a show and Emily was on that show. He said she was all covered up on that show. He said he had no interest in her when she's all covered up. He said if she's naked he'll watch her all day. He said you read the comments under the video and it's guys commenting on how ugly she is. He said that she doesn't do anything other than go up to the food stand and sit down. He said she never goes in the water but she's moving around a lot. Robin asked what this is. Howard said he has no idea. He said her job is being just about naked. Ralph asked how he found it. Howard said someone sent it to him. Gary said it was on the Daily Mail. Howard said they follow her like she's the president.
Howard said guys are writing comments underneath. He said that when they interviewed her on this Busy Phillips show she said that she's a feminist because of her breasts. Howard had some clips to play.
Howard played a clip of Emily talking about how she developed early and she's become a feminist because of them. Howard said that she also talks about walking around her house naked and things like that.
Howard said his household isn't a naked one at all. He said you won't even see him with his shirt off. Howard said he had to turn that show off when he saw it.
Howard read some comments about Emily that were posted on that Daily Mail site. There were guys saying that she's ugly. Howard said the one thing is she's hot. Howard said that Arizona senator is hot too. Robin said she's Megyn Kelly hot. Howard said she's hot. Robin said put glasses on Megyn and you have the look. Howard said he thinks she's in the league of Margot Robbie. Robin told him to stop it. That led to Howard doing his Ted Kennedy impression. He came back from the dead because of this hot woman. Fred said in 2010 she was stalked by someone so she must be hot. Robin said stop it. She said David Letterman was stalked.
Howard did his Kennedy impression for a short time talking about how hot Kyrsten Sinema is. Howard had him going on and on about this hot chick.
Howard said she's hot, bi-sexual and divorced. Howard made his jerking off sound effect. Robin said maybe they can send Senator Ronnie to meet her. Howard said he was finally jerking off to C-Span. Ralph said he was shocked she was a senator. Howard's Ted Kennedy said she looks like Margot Robbie. Howard said there's a picture of Margot Robbie in the Post today. He said that she's on page 1. He sad there's all this news and the NY Post has her on a trapeze thing. Howard said they know how to sell papers. He said he didn't even read the text. He said it turns out she's sick and tired of being a woman in the movies playing a supportive role to men. He said she's almost naked on the trapeze. Howard said he's not sure who took it but it must have been someone like Annie Leibowitz. Howard read some of the article about Margot.
Howard asked Ralph what he wanted. Ralph said Stan sent him something really cool. He said it's a silhouette of Spider-Man that was like 6 feet across. He said he must have it in storage or something. Ralph said he remembers Howard telling him he got to talk to Stan Lee but he wasn't able to tell him what the discussions were about. Howard said he can't even remember a lot of what he talked about. Ralph said Howard doesn't spend time enjoying stuff like that. Robin said he needs someone with him to remember it all.
Howard said Pam Anderson was talking about the #MeToo movement and she was saying some weird things. Howard played a clip of Pam talking about how strange things can be for men and how this is paralyzing them. She was talking about going in and just getting the job if someone answers the door in a bath robe. Howard said maybe Tommy Lee did fuck her brain out. Ralph said that if someone is in a robe, maybe leave. Howard said talk to any woman who has been date raped. He said that the guy ends up being someone they knew and they get punched and raped. Howard said that it's obvious not to go into a room with a guy in a bath robe. Howard said if some guy corners you in an office when the guy is there alone don't go in there. Howard said you can't say shit like Pam said.
Howard said Pam had some things in her life that were horrifying. Gary said she claims she was gang raped. Howard said shit happens. He said that he was surprised to hear Pam saying what she said.
Howard said they should get back to talking about this hot senator. He said he has some information about her. Howard read about this Kyrsten Sinema and talked about how she came out as bisexual and things like that. Howard was making his jerking off sound with his cheek. Howard read about some of her accomplishments and how she was raised a Mormon. Howard said she must have had the magic underwear.
Howard read about how she grew up and how she had no running water in the place she lived. Howard had Ted Kennedy asking if she had an innie or outie pussy. Howard said how insulting. Howard read more details about her and he sounded more and more turned on by her. Robin read some stuff about her too and said she was the first woman to fly into combat. Robin had some other details about her.
Howard said he welcomes her to the senate. He said the next one will be Emily Ratajkowski. Howard had Ted Kennedy talking about how distracted he would have been if he was still around.
Howard said rest in peace Stan Lee. Ralph said he's going to go try to find some pictures of Kyrsten Sinema. Howard said he has his whole day mapped out. He said that he should try to get some exercise too. Ralph said when it stops raining he will. Howard said he has to take a break. He said he has to end the show on time today. He said he has meetings today. He said after the show he has to take meetings to be a businessman. Robin said that they have just found out that North Korea hasn't closed their missile bases so he has to work on that. Howard said that's it. He went into his Ted Kennedy impression again and talked about what he'd like to do to Kyrsten Sinema.
Howard said he thinks he's lost his Kennedy impression. Robin said it is a little off. Howard said he's been gone a while now. Robin said it has to be like 9 or 10 years now. Howard said he should take a break and get to more stuff. He said he has a bunch of things to talk about. They went to break after that.
- A Sour Shoes Update. 11/13/18. 8:20am
After the break Howard came right back and said he has so much to get to here. He said he has an update on Sour Shoes. He said they haven't heard from him lately. He said they're not sure what's going on with him. He said he hasn't been on all summer and now they're into fall. Howard said he did call in on Halloween. He said he was so rusty that he hung up on him.
Howard said Sour Shoes left a message over the weekend and he kind of misses the guy. He said he must have gotten in trouble with his parents. He just stopped calling for some reason. He said that his parents treat him like a child so they must have to punish him. Robin said they must be exhausted as parents.
Howard said Sour left a voicemail and he didn't say anything. He said he just made noises. Howard played the clip and Sour was just making George Takei sounds over music. He was laughing like George and clearing his throat like Gary. Then he was doing Richard Simmons and other sounds. Howard said this goes on and on.
Howard said he liked that. He said before that in October he left a message and it sounds like he was taking a bath at the time. Howard played that clip and Sour was singing while the water was splashing. Howard said he must be miserable not calling in.
Howard said he did call into Mike Francesa. He said Mike doesn't like him though. Howard played that clip and Sour brought up something about some players who were meeting and if you put their names together you get a Donald Palmer. Mike said that guy waited on the line for over 3 hours to get that in.
Howard said he thinks Sour is a genius. He said there was a story about Sour not calling in because of downed wires near his house. Gary said he's not sure how that affects his cell phone. Howard said his parents must be punishing him. Howard asked if Gary knows anything. Shuli did. Shuli said that Sour called him on a three way and he was prank calling a telemarketer. He said that was the last he heard from him.
Howard said he left them a voicemail in July too. He said they think it's him anyway. Howard played that clip and Sour was playing his keyboard and making his popping mouth sound. Howard said that has to be Sour. He asked who else that could be.
Howard said he's a talented man. He said there was a sighting earlier in the year when he called into WIP in Philadelphia. Howard said he called in as Gary. Howard played that clip and Sour did his Gary voice just rambling and saying ''noine'' as much as he could.
Gary said their guy had lunch with Sour over the summer and he showed up with a giant sheet cake and was handing it out to people at the deli they were eating at. Howard said it's very strange. Robin said they could send someone over to his house to check on him. Howard said he thinks they have their hands full over there at that house.
Howard said back in April Sour called into the Wrap Up Show and talked about Ronnie and Stephanie. Howard played a clip from that show. Sour was doing his real voice and not an impression. Howard said his real personality is the creepiest character he does. Howard asked how they got him to be serious. Gary said they didn't. He said they didn't know why he was being so normal. Howard asked what his point was. Gary didn't remember. Howard played more of that clip and Sour was going on and on about Ronnie moving out to Vegas with Stephanie. Howard said he's never had a girlfriend but he's advising Ronnie on his relationship. Howard said you have to spend a minute with a girl before you can give advice. Howard said that's like Benjy giving diet advice. Howard went to break a short time later.
- Howard Gives Relationship Advice. 11/13/18. 8:40am
After the break they played a ''Rating Celebrities with Ronnie the Limo Driver'' bit. They played Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood performing ''Little Wing'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said this is beautiful. He said it's Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood live from Madison Square Garden. He said that this is the real deal. He said this is a Blind Faith song. Fred said it's a Jimi Hendrix song actually. Fred threw in some of Robin's singing over the song. Howard said he's not sure what he was thinking. He said he should have known it was Hendrix. Howard said he should have played guitar. He said he should have taken it seriously as a kid. He said then he could trade off lead with Eric.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has some marital issues. Howard said he's come to the right place then. He said that Sour Shoes isn't there but he'll give him some advice. Howard said he got his degree from Three Stooges university. The caller, Sean, said that they have stopped having sex after having a couple of kids. Howard said there's a shocker. The caller said that it might be more than the kids. He said that being parents gets in the way of being intimate.
Howard asked if he's still into her. Sean said he is. Howard asked if he talks to her about it. He said he hasn't said it because it's kind of obvious. Howard asked when he last tried to initiate it. Sean said this weekend. He said they tried to get into it and then the kids came into the room. Howard said there are times they can get away from the kids. Howard said they could have a date night.
Howard asked how old he is. Sean said he's 44. Howard said he must be beating off a lot. Sean said he can do it maybe once a day. He said if he had the time it might be more. Howard said he could be having sex. Sean said that it's easier to just beat off and get on with his day. Howard asked if he kisses her. Sean said they do kiss but it seems like more of a formality. Howard asked if she's super passionate in front of her friends with him. Sean said after a glass of wine or two. He said nothing happens at home. Howard said it sounds like she's not that into him anymore.
Robin said once you have kids you have to be responsible for the romance in your marriage. Howard said she's making a good point there. Howard said when he first met his wife he was super attentive and he may have to go back into that mode. He said that he has to wine and dine her and things like that. Robin said the love making has to start before bed. Howard said you have to rev them up. He said you have to try to win her over like you just met her.
Howard said what he does is jerk off to C-Span to that new Senator. Howard said how about you go home and get a babysitter for the kids and have a date with her. He said she'll be all turned on by that. He said he's not sure if he can afford it but maybe go to a hotel or motel for an hour or two.
Howard asked the guy where he is. Sean said he just pulled up in front of his office. Howard said he should text her something. He said text her that he's thinking about her right now.
Sean said that the kids also sleep in bed with them a lot. Howard said he has to put a stop to that. He said that he's sure Ronnie is pulling the hair out of his head over this. Fred did his Ronnie voice talking about what he should be doing.
Howard said he bets Ronnie would know what to do. He said he puts the TV on and puts his penis on his girlfriend's asshole. He said he lets his natural juices lube her up.
Howard had Ronnie come in to give him some advice. Ronnie asked if he tries to set up candles in the bedroom and giving her a massage. He said he can work his way in there that way. Sean said he'll try that. Howard said he can try to get his dick in here with his natural juices. Ronnie said you get some candles and get some K-Y massage oil and things like that. He said that you work your way down to her asshole and you work it really good. He said you give her a good back massage and then down her legs. He said then you do the front. He said you come close but not touch it. Robin said it's a tease.
Ronnie said you don't tell her you're going to do it. He said you just do it. He said you work your deal. Sean said he can't see Ronnie setting up candles. Ronnie said if you want to get laid you light fucking candles. Howard said he pictures his room looking like Dexter's kill room. Ronnie said they haven't done that in a long time. He said they did that in the beginning.
Robin said Ronnie is right that this guy isn't taking his time. Ronnie said he has to be naked rubbing her down. He said you get her all lubed up and you have this oil all over her. He said that warm stuff is good. He said then you put some on your dick. He said then as you're massaging her you kind of get in between her ass cheeks and you rub your dick in here. He said you get all turned on and then hopefully it works. He said if it doesn't work then get out of town.
Gary said Shuli disagrees with this completely. Shuli came in to give his advice. Howard said you're either going to fuck her or get arrested. Shuli said he's a man with two kids. He said he's not sure how Ronnie is going to save this guy's marriage. Shuli said this guy has to lighten her load around the house. He said do some dishes and some laundry. He said that she'll be turned on by that.
Shuli said you have to get her out of mom mode. He said they don't want to lay down and get a massage. Howard asked if Sean is getting this. Sean said he's got it. He said he has to step it up.
Ronnie asked if he calls her during the day asking how she's doing. Sean said he doesn't do that. Ronnie said he has to do that. He said he has to be interested in her.
Howard asked Sean who his wife looks like. Sean described her but he didn't say if she looks like anyone famous. Sean said she looks like that senator with dark hair. Howard said she probably looks like Roseanne. Ronnie said he doesn't sound very enthused at all. Sean said she's a teacher and all of the kids want to fuck her. Howard said maybe she's getting it somewhere. Sean said that there are rumors that it is going on in that school. Howard said he has to step up his game.
Howard said King of All Blacks has some advice for this guy too. Howard took King's call and King said that he doesn't think that he's into her. He said maybe she doesn't like him anymore. He said if she's out there getting coffee and some guy talks to her she's not going to tell him about that. Howard said it was a mistake picking up on him. King said she's getting it from someone out here. Sean said he doesn't think so.
King said there's a movie with a book store and some French guy. He said that's what it's like. Howard and the guys had no idea what movie he was talking about.
Howard said he doesn't think his wife is cheating. He said if she's bringing it up then she's noticing it. Howard said that he has to do some laundry or do the massage thing. Robin said you have to make a plan when you have kids.
Howard said Ronnie wouldn't put up with that. Ronnie said he can't deal with it. Howard said if he went a week without it he'd be upset. Ronnie said he can't deal with it. Fred did his Ronnie voice talking about what he'd do.
Shuli asked if Ronnie and Stephanie sext during the day. Ronnie said not really. He said they do text. Shuli asked what he last sent to her that was dirty. Ronnie said she'll do something if he's away at some appearance or something. He said she'll send him pictures. He said she'll send him a picture of her laying in bed with the dog naked. Shuli said he got that one from her too.
Ronnie said he would get that shit all the time when they were on the road with America's Got Talent. Howard said he should have showed him those pictures. Howard told Sean to go to work. He told him to get working on his wife too.
Howard said he was reading about how Mel B was upset with Victoria Beckham because she doesn't want to tour with the Spice Girls. Howard said she doesn't want to do it because she's got money and doesn't need to go out and do that.
- Bobo's Marijuana Argument. 11/13/18. 9:05am
Howard took a call from Bobo who said he has a bone to pick with Robin. He said he was talking about some statistics about driving with marijuana. Howard said they talked about this the other day. He said Bobo claims that he won awards but he had students sticking gum in his wig. Howard said he didn't get much respect in the car. Howard said he's hung upon driving and pot. He said that if he's in favor of people drinking and driving he's not sure why he'd be against marijuana and driving. Howard said he thinks you shouldn't be impaired when you drive but he's for the legalization of pot.
Bobo said that they need to figure out how long you wait before you drive. Howard said you know when you come down. Gary said Brent has a beef with Bobo. He said he has graphs and stuff about this.
Brent came in and said there are some problems with these studies. He said the GDP has increased and what's going up is the vehicle miles traveled. He said that in Colorado that's what it is. He said the pot is legal there. Howard said Brent smokes weed until he passes out. Brent said he won't get behind the wheel even sober. Brent said that the studies are flawed because when they do a tox screen on them they correlate that the marijuana caused the accident if they have any amount in their system.
Brent had all kinds of stats about vehicle fatalities and driving under the influence. Howard asked Bobo what he makes of this. Robin said his toupee is on fire. Howard asked why he's for alcohol. Bobo said that you know what's in it. He said you know what's in alcohol but not what's in pot.
Howard said on the phone is Brent who agrees with Brent. One of the guys in the back does an impression of Brent that's spot on. He had fake Brent telling him that he agrees with Brent completely. He was smoking while they were talking. He was also making a citizen's arrest with someone who threw their garbage in the wrong bin.
Real Brent was giving more stats and Bobo said there was an accident in Texas last year that caused 13 people to die and the driver was under the influence of marijuana. He said case closed. Brent said the case isn't closed. Bobo said look at the studies about what's happening in the states where pot is legal. Bobo said that the pot is different for people because you don't know how much you're taking in. Brent said that's not true because in the states where it is legal they do have that stuff listed.
Robin said Bobo doesn't have enough sense to have this argument. Bobo said he does too. Bobo said he met with families who have lost people. Howard asked what families he's met with. Bobo said he met with people who lost loved ones who lost people to alcohol and marijuana. Fake Brent had things that Brent might talk about with Bobo.
Gary said that Shuli says that Bobo claims that he had people cry to him after taking his classes and thanked him for saving their lives. Bobo said he has advice for people that has saved lives. Bobo said he tells people that you don't gun it through a yellow light. Brent said that he learned that when he was 15 years old. Howard said the Beatles want to sing a song. He played a song parody about Bobo to the tune of a Beatles song.
Howard said they say that Florida had the most car accidents in 2016 and weed isn't even legal there. Bobo said they don't have their road tests on the road. He said they have it in a closed course. Bobo said it's ''ridicilus.'' Howard asked what's up with that ''ridicilus.'' Bobo claims that it's his accent. Howard said that's no accent.
Howard said he has to go. He said he thanks Bobo for his arguments. Bobo said that Shuli has his top awards. Howard said that's enough of that. He said he'll be back after a quick break.
- Email And Calls. 11/13/18. 9:25am
After the break Howard came right back and took a call from a woman who hung up when he picked up. Howard tried another call. The caller did a Bobo impression talking about crazy stuff that people on pot do. The caller said that he loves them and he's a long time listener. Howard said someone wrote in about Hugh Jackman being on the show. He said that he as surprised that he ''finally'' did a good interview.
The caller brought up Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and asked if he thinks that the one from Arizona is hotter. Howard said they're both attractive but the one from Arizona is hotter.
Howard went through some email and read about someone who watched Bodyguard on Netflix. Robin said she was trying to find that and she wasn't able to. Howard said it's a good show and it's a British show. Howard said watch it, it's good. Robin said she tried texting Howard and he never sees them. Howard said he found it yesterday. He said he feels it's Robin's fault.
Howard said he got some email about people who love Live PD like Richard does. He had some praise from the Richard and Benjy stunt video where Benjy grabbed Richard's penis. Howard had some praise for Robin's cover of Yoko's music. Howard said he likes Robin's singing better because she has more power in it. He said he feels that her accent is very good too. Fred played some of her stuff.
Howard said Robin also got praise for her narration in that basketball movie. He read some of those emails. There were people writing in thanking Robin for her service in the military and on the Howard Stern Show.
Howard read some email about Jeff the Drunk and how he should get a job. Howard said some people wrote in about Shuli busting Jeff's balls. He said Shuli has that impression down as well as the Tan Mom impression.
- Tan Mom Sex Game. 11/13/18. 9:35am
Howard said he got some feedback about the Wendy the Slow Adult prank call. He said speaking of Wendy they had her call Tan Mom to get some tips on Thanksgiving. He said Tan Mom got really angry with Wendy. Howard played the call and Wendy was talking about how she got her thanksgiving dinner from a dumpster. Tan Mom told her to put it down. They had Wendy clips telling her she was going to throw up. Tan Mom told her to throw it out. She told her to put that god damn food down now. Tan Mom was going off on her and telling her to call 911. They had Wendy giving the wrong numbers and then trying to dial 911 over Tan Mom. Tan Mom eventually hung up on Wendy. Howard said that was great acting on Wendy's part.
Howard said he has a tan Mom game to play. He got a caller on the line and asked if he wanted to play. The caller, Mason, said he would like to play. Howard said he has the Tan Mom game and he can win an SVS Sound System. He played her song to get into it. He said they played this the other day. He said they asked Tan Mom sex questions and you just have to say if she knows the answer or not. The caller said he heard the segment the other day. Howard said they asked her what the missionary position is. The caller said that's when a dude is on top. Howard said that's right. He said this is a test question. Mason said he's going to say she did know. Howard said don't get nervous because this is a test. Howard said Tan Mom said this. He played her clop and she said that Missionary is when you look for an opportunity.
Howard said they asked Tan Mom what Gonorrhea is. Howard asked Mason what he thinks the answer is. Mason said no way she'll know. Howard played her answer and she said that Gonorrhea is a disease that spreads such as AIDS. Howard said she knew. Robin said not really. Howard said it is an STD. Robin said that's not what she said. Robin said that it's curable unlike AIDS. Howard asked for a ruling. He said he thinks Mason got it wrong. He said that he's not at the end of the line yet.
Howard said they asked Tan Mom if she knows what popping a cherry means. Mason said there's now way she'll know that one. Howard played her answer and Tan Mom said that it's when a man makes a woman cum but it's the most awesome experience.
Howard said they asked Tan Mom what a sphincter is. Mason said there's no way she'll know that. Robin agreed. Howard asked if Robin knows. Robin said she does. Howard played Tan Mom's answer and she said that it's a man's penis. Howard said he has two left and he wins the speaker system.
Howard said they asked Tan Mom what cow girl is. Robin said that's a sex position. Mason said that's his favorite. He said that's when a girl is on top facing you. Howard said reverse cow girls is when she's facing away from you. Howard said he'll take anything close. Howard said you have to think like you fell down a well and spent 3 days down there. He said Tan Mom claims that's what happened to her. Howard asked Mason what he thinks. Mason said no. Howard played her answer and Tan Mom said cowgirl is a woman that wants to have sex with a horse. Howard said Mason just won. He said that was easy. Howard played a Tan Mom song parody to celebrate his win.
Howard asked Mason what he's going to do with this speaker system. He said Gary has his hooked up. Gary said he has his hooked up where he listens to vinyl. Mason said he'll probably hook it up to his computer. Howard asked how exciting this discussion is.
Howard put Mason on hold and asked if Tan Mom knows what head is. Robin said she must. Howard played her answer and Tan Mom did know it. Howard asked if she'll know what incest is. Robin said yes. Howard said he doesn't' think she would. Howard played her answer and Tan Mom said it's when someone touches someone in your family.
Howard asked if she knows what a rim job is. Robin said she knows it because of Howard. Robin said that's hewn you tickle someone's ass with your tongue. Howard told the guys to isolate that. Robin said Tan Mom won't know. Howard played her answer and Tan Mom said that's when a man goes around a woman's clitoris.
Howard asked if she'll know what the expression bare back is. Robin said no. Howard said he's with her on that. He played Tan Mom's answer and she said that's when a man is on top and you're bent over. Robin asked how she gets through life.
Howard asked if she will know what a motorboat is. Robin said that she will not. Howard said Robin must have had that. Robin said someone tried to do it on the air. Gary said Sam Kinison tried to do it once. Robin said he did not. She said Tan Mom won't know it. Howard played her answer and Tan Mom said it was when a man dives on top of a woman and pounds her.
Howard asked if she'll know what tossing a salad is. Robin said that's ass play. Howard said that's right. Robin said Tan Mom will not know. Howard played her answer and Tan Mom said that's when they put food on their bodies and eat it off.
Howard asked if she gets any of them right. He said she must know what Camel Toe is. Robin said maybe but she's saying no. Howard said she has to know this one. Fred agreed. Howard played her answer and Tan Mom said that it's at the bottom of a foot. Howard said she doesn't know anything.
Howard said she has to know what a French kiss is. Robin said she has to. Howard played her answer and Tan Mom said that's when a man and woman have kisses with their tongues.
Howard said she has to know what an orgy is. She knew that one too. Howard said he's had enough after that one. He said that he's not feeling so sexy now. Robin asked if it's less sexy with her or Ronnie. Howard said he wants to run and hide from Ronnie.
- El Chapo Discussions. 11/13/18. 9:55am
Howard said he has a clip of El Chapo sending Robin message. Robin said she doesn't want to be on his radar. Howard played the clip and they had fake El Chapo (Ham Hands Bill) sending her a message to come and pretend she's his man lawyer but cut a hole in her pants so he can do her. Howard said they're trying to pick a jury for El Chapo. He said maybe they should say for once they don't need a jury to put themselves in danger. Robin said they have to give him security that's presidential like.
Howard said he read that one of the jurors was in tears after being selected. He said he thinks that was in the NY Post. He said you have to get off the jury somehow. He said you just say you're a Michael Jackson impersonator. Gary said they put someone in a Star Trek uniform on a jury years ago for a case. Howard said he would not want to sit on this jury. He said he would start picking his asshole and eating his boogers to get off of that jury. Robin said she thinks that the evidence should just be presented to a judge.
Howard said there is a juror who was in tears over being picked. Howard read about it in the paper. He said he'd get out of that any way he could. Howard said he'd claim that he's Tan Mom. Howard said he really does have to end the show on time today. Howard played a Tan Mom interview bit before going to break.
- Robin's News. 11/13/18. 10:05am
After the break Howard came right back and said he was looking at the email and people were complaining about them calling Lil Wayne ''Little Wayne.'' Howard said that they found it funny that Jason was trying to break down why he's so great. Howard said he thought Jason did a good job with that. Robin said he really didn't say anything.
Howard said he did watch Saturday Night Live to see Halsey. He said she's hot. He said Robin didn't describe what she was wearing properly. Robin said she did too. Howard said she's really hot. He said get that fucking camera off Lil Wayne. Robin said he's the star. Howard said he saw Halsey and some guy yelling while she was trying to sing. Howard asked Jason if he has anything to say about Lil Wayne. Jason said not really.
Howard said it's time for some news. They played Robin into it with a song parody. Howard said that was sent in by Puss Malone.
Robin started her news asking if he's raking leaves. Howard said he doesn't. He said it's better if you don't rake them. Robin said that they could mean a slippery roadway or walkway. Howard said he sees guys blowing them into the street. He said it must be good for the environment. Robin said it helps keep the nutrients in the soil. She said that they say that it also leaves the grass protected from the cold. Robin said you won't get strained muscles from raking. Robin said it will also protect bulbs. Howard said he likes the natural look and not this manicured look that people seem to want. Robin said that the place they don't want leaves is in the gutters.
Robin asked if it's better to know a little bit about everything or a lot about one thing. Howard said that's a good question. He said he thinks it's better to know a lot about one thing. He said that Ronnie is an expert in pussy and that's not so good. He said he's going to go with knowing a little about a lot of things. He said he's not sure about that either. He was going back and forth. He gave up and said he doesn't care. Robin said the answer is that knowing a wide variety of things is the best. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a new Amazon headquarters moving to Long Island City, New York. Howard said he read that Governor Cuomo wanted it really bad but some people thought it would be bad for the state. Robin said they think that more passengers will be on the subway and things like that. Howard said he thinks that it will bring in jobs. Robin said there will be a lot of jobs and an increased tax base. Howard said he thinks Cuomo made the right choice there. He said he knows it's more traffic but everyone wants more jobs.
Robin read a story about Stan Lee passing away. She had some details about Stan passing away at the age of 95. Robin said he had some illnesses in the past few months including pneumonia. Robin had some comments that people like Mark Hamill, Patton Oswalt and Gene Simmons made about Stan. Robin had a bunch of other people who said some words about Stan. (The show cut out around this time for about a minute)
Howard was talking about Sour Shoes and playing a clip when the show came back. He had a clip of Sour leaving a voicemail and it was a half hour long. He said it's brilliant.
The caller (Pocket) asked Howard if he ever sat and talked to Sour on the street. Robin said he runs from him. Howard said he once told him that if he showed up again outside he'd never be on the show again.
Robin said Gary's article was about the console. Robin said it's one of those memory things that he had about this stereo he'd sit in front of and listen to records on.
Howard said he has Gary Dell'Abate on the phone now. He had the guys in the back playing clips of Gary talking about his love of vinyl and giving long answers about what he liked learning about bands from the liner notes. They had long clips from Gary's audio book that they were playing. Howard said he has to get out of this.
Robin said that people like to be able to touch a record. Howard said he knew a girl in radio a hundred years ago and she lost her mind. He said she was bipolar or something. He said they found her nude and she was rubbing vinyl against her nude body. He said he bets Gary has done that. Howard said hey polled record store owners and asked if people call it ''pieces of vinyl.'' He played a clip of Sal talking to store owners who said no one calls it pieces of vinyl.
Robin read about how Gary was talking about opening up piece of vinyl and putting them into this ''console'' and listening to the records. Howard let out a sigh. Howard said Gary says ''pieces of vinyl'' twice in that article she's talking about.
Howard said he has to proof anything he writes. Robin read more of this article that Gary was quoted in. She said that he talks about getting up and walking around his house when he has his Sonos playing. Robin said he likes to go into the attic to listen to this console thing. Howard said he's not sure what to say about that. He said he got angry about that article. He asked if it makes Robin angry. Robin said yes it does. She said Mary wants to get rid of all of this stuff. Howard said he wishes she'd just go up and push it all out the window and have the garbage men take it. Howard played a song parody about Gary but then cut it off saying he's not going to pile on.
Howard took another call from the Gary drops. They had Gary rambling on and on about various bands and songs.
Robin said they have a picture of the console in this article. She said it's so dated. Howard said that's what Gary likes. He said he's into old radios. He said that attic must be something. Robin was going on and on about the article and Howard said she has to stop because it's making him sick. Gary said he brought that console to his mother's nursing home room because he wanted her to have something that made her feel at home. Howard said his poor mother. Gary said it fit in perfectly.
Jason came in and said that this is a whole room of crap. He said it's not just a piece of furniture. Howard took a look at it and said that's horrible. He said they have to take a break. He said he never wants to talk about this topic ever again. He said they should put that console in Gary's office. Robin said there's no room. Howard said how about they take Gary out of there and replace him with the console. They went to break after that.
The show returned seconds later in the middle of Howard doing a Bill Clinton impression. Something went wrong with the live feed so the whole break was missing.
Howard was doing the Bill Clinton impression and talking about this new senator, Kyrsten Sinema, from Arizona.
Robin read a story about Trump kicking out a CNN reporter from the White House last week and now CNN is suing. Robin said they want their pass back. Howard said the press is the most vital part of our democracy and they should have access. Howard said every president has hated the press but they realize it's important and you have to accept it. He said you can respond to them but you can't kick out reporters. Robin asked if he saw what happened last week. Howard said he did. Robin said they claimed that he put his hands on her. Howard said he saw it and he didn't put his hands on her. Robin said that's why CNN is suing. Howard said he has Sarah Sanders on the phone to talk about Jim Acosta. Howard let fake Sarah talking about how he's going to have to get his pass from her sticky twat if he wants back in. Howard spent a few minutes talking to fake Sarah about the Jim Acosta thing. Howard asked if she gets crazy in the bedroom. Sarah said she'll wrap her legs around his face and blast a queef in his face. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the wildfires going on out in California. Robin said people are being evacuated. Robin said Miley Cyrus lost her home to the fire. Robin said Neil Young also lost his home. She said that Gerard Butler also lost his home and posted images on Instagram.
Robin read a story about Sandra Bullock putting up $100,000 to help animals displaced by the fires out there. Robin said that they're saying that utilities might be responsible for starting the fire. Robin said that the utilities commission is going to take a look to see if they were the cause.
Robin read a story about Pope Francis saying that we have to invest in peace, not war. Robin said she's had some people say that to her. She said that she has a friend who was in the Pakistani army and he said this is not the way to peace. She said that we have monetized war and that's not the way to peace. Howard said look at her friends.
Robin read a story about El Chapo and said that he was able to find a lawyer with the millions he has. Robin said he will get a fair trial according to this article. Robin said that it's going to cost him at lest $5 million. Howard asked Robin about the Pakistani friend and Fred played the song he plays for anything they talk about with someone from that part of the world. That got Howard laughing.
Robin read a story about Petco not selling any dog or cat food that contains preservatives. Robin had more details on that.
Robin read a story about a designer who is going to stop using furs because of the way animals are killed to get them. Howard said it's about time. Howard said they do make fake furs. Robin said they say those are plastic and that's even worse.
Robin read about how Covergirl is stoping their testing of makeup on animals. Howard said it's about time for that too.
Robin read a story about how Amazon Alexa is going to be a witness in a murder. Robin said she sees her's doing things so she'll ask it what it's doing and it will tell her it's collecting data to get smarter. Robin said this case in New Hampshire is going to ask for data from Amazon that the Echo may have collected.
Howard said this guy called in and said that things will get better for that guy who called in earlier about not getting sex. The caller actually said it's never going to get better. He said that you get the 7 year itch, the 11 year itch and then the woman gets allergic to your penis for the rest of your life. Howard let that guy go.
Robin read a story about a bunch of high school kids who gave the Nazi salute in a class photo. Robin said they're looking into that and some of the kids are saying it was a Nazi salute and some kids followed along not knowing what was going on. Robin said the photographer claims he asked the to wave to the camera and he doesn't believe they were doing a Nazi salute. Howard said Mel Gibson has agreed to speak at their graduation so some good came out of that.
Robin said the Macy's day parade is coming up. Howard said he doesn't like parades. Robin said there are going to be some kids who will get to see the new floats in New Jersey. Robin read about some of the floats they get to see. Howard had a bit where they had a George Takei float wandering off into the brambles.
Howard said he did bring his youngest to the parade when they were doing the prep. He said that was the night before the parade. He said he didn't think they were safe so they went home. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 10:55am.