- Thursday Replays. 01/19/17. 7:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: There were no opening songs and/or bits today.
Here's what they played on today's replay show:
- Staff Fights - July 26, 2016. 01/19/17. 7:00am
First up on today's replay show they played a 2016 segment where Howard talked about the staff's ability to fight. Here's my rundown from that day:
Robin's News. 07/26/16. 10:15am
Howard asked if Robin saw the video of an Uber driver yelling at some chick who refused to get out of his car. Howard said the guy drove her to the hospital and she refused to get out of the car. The guy was screaming at the woman to get out of his car. The woman said he's not supposed to yell at her. Howard said he's not sure what's going on there. Robin said that some people do this just to get it on tape. The guy kept screaming at the woman to get out and she kept filming. The guy said god damn you to hell. Howard said if this is an emergency why is she fighting with him? Howard said this is like the Uber version of the Mel Gibson tape.
Howard said that sounds like Scott the Engineer screaming about not using the tape. Howard played that clip. He played a clip of Scott yelling at him about paying off for the push up challenge. Howard said they paid off even though they were the shittiest push ups ever. Howard said Scott was dieting and working out every day and he was like a mad man. Howard played another clip of Scott yelling at him about the push up challenge. Robin said they called it 'roid rage but it wasn't steroids. Gary said he was taking Creatine and he didn't eat the whole vacation so he was raging. Howard said he just wanted that money. He said he's pretty sure he could have decked Scott when he said ''Lets go!'' Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said they asked staffers if they think they could beat him up. He had a clip of Scott giving his thoughts on that. Scott said no he can't. Howard said guys always size up guys they can beat up. Howard said he's not sure he could take Robin. He said she might be able to beat his ass. Howard said Fred could beat him up. He said Benjy might be able to beat him up with his wrestling experience. Howard said the same thing about Gary. He said he might be able to beat up Jason because he's sluggish. He said Jon Hein is a big guy so it would be like chopping down a tree. Gary said they have all the answers for him on that sound page. Howard said he could beat up JD. Howard played JD's answer and JD said Howard could probably beat him up and kick his ass. Robin said she beat JD arm wrestling. Howard said Jason thinks he can beat him up. Howard played that clip too. Jason said he thinks his weight would help him out. Howard said he'd just kick him in the knee and take him down. Howard said he took karate with his kids. He said he's old now so he doesn't think he could do much. Howard said he went to eat with a friend the other night and he made that old person noise getting out of a car.
Howard played another clip of Jon Hein saying he thinks he could beat him up. Howard said he's right. Robin said the other day he was talking about hitting Jason with the Hein. Howard said Jon could probably rape him if he was in the woods somewhere. Robin said Howard could beat Will. Howard said he doesn't think so. He said Jason, Scott and JD are the only 3. Howard said Jon is weird powerful like a mountain bear. He said Jon is like that tall girl on Game of Thrones. He said he'd just stand there and not move when he tries to beat him up. Howard said this is all theory so he may not be able to beat up any of the guys. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said she has a friend who did a sky dive for the second time. Robin said he got her all hopped up thinking she should do it. Howard said she has to calm down with that. Robin read about a 26 year old who went missing over the weekend and her body was found days later. Robin said this was her 5th jump. Howard said they have to get Robin into board games or something. Robin said the woman was not attached to the parachute. Robin said they found her in a tree. She said that's a terrible way to go.
- Mark The Bagger - March 28, 2016. 01/19/17. 7:15am
Next on today's replay show they played a 2016 Mark the Bagger visit. Here's my rundown from that day:
Mark The Bagger Visits. 03/28/16. 9:20am
Howard had Mark the Bagger come in. Howard said last time he was on he promoted ''Bagger No. 7'' cologne and they say it sold out. Mark came in saying that Bubba has to settle his beef with Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania this weekend. Howard said Hulk lost his job with the WWE. Mark also said that he thinks Hulk should buy TNA wrestling with that money he won.
Howard asked if Mark has a cold. Mark said he has a sinus thing going on. Howard asked if Mark would let Hulk fuck his wife. Mark said no. Howard asked a bunch of questions and Mark kept saying ''No'' over and over. Howard asked if he were to allow Hulk to fuck his wife, would he give him sunglasses. Mark said yes to that.
Howard said last time Mark was there he had a cologne called Bagger No. 7. Howard said they say it sold out. Mark said it did. Howard asked why they stopped making it. Mark said it's not available. Howard asked if he saw a dime from it. Mark said no. Howard said he has to get his manager in there.
Howard said that Mark also said that he isn't close with the Bloodhound Gang anymore. Mark said he just hasn't seen them around. Howard said he had a girlfriend last time he was in there too. Mark said they broke up. Howard asked about moving out of his mom's house and what happened there. Mark said she just wanted a friend with benefits. He said that her and his good friend hooked up on Thanksgiving weekend. Howard said this whole Hulk Hogan thing is sensitive to him. Howard said Mark can ask Robin out. Mark said no and said that he wanted to ask a girl out on FOX news. He said she does a morning show and didn't know her name.
Howard said it's kind of shallow that he wants a girl on TV whose name he doesn't even know. Howard asked if Mark thinks that he's really in her league. Mark said no but just give him one shot. He said she has nice tits and ass. Howard asked if he was talking about Ainsley Earhardt or Anna Kooiman. Mark wasn't sure.
Howard asked if Mark is still jerking off a lot. Mark said he is. Howard asked how old he is now. Mark said he's 40. Howard asked about jerking off to the girl on FOX News and if he ever finishes when they switch the camera to someone else. Howard told him that he's done that when he was younger. He said he'd jerk off to Ginger on Gilligan's Island and then they'd show the Professor and he'd finish.
Howard asked Mark if it's true that his manager owns the name ''Mark the Bagger.'' Mark said it is. Howard asked how he signed the paper and why he did it. Mark said he didn't know what he was signing. Howard said he should have said he owns the name Mark the Bagger. Howard asked how he found out about it. Mark said he doesn't know. Howard asked a bunch of questions about the ownership of the name but Mark didn't seem to know much about it.
Howard had the guys bring in his manager Anthony. Anthony came in and Howard said he has a big beard like Letterman. Howard said it makes him look like he's in ISIS. Anthony said that Jimmy Pop from the Bloodhound Gang used to call him Sal-Queada. Howard said he doesn't want to see him on a plane with shoes on.
Howard asked Anthony how he owns the name Mark the Bagger. Anthony said that he brought Mark on the show years ago and named him Mark the Bagger because he bagged groceries. He said he puts all of his personal money out there and gives him half of it and doesn't ask for anything back. Howard asked why they stopped making the cologne. Anthony said that he didn't want to go make more of it. He said Mark did get 50/50 split of the money. Howard asked Mark why he didn't tell the truth. Mark said he did get most of it.
Howard asked if Anthony is his manager full time. Anthony said he's been doing it for 15 years now. He said they've made a good amount of money from this. He said that he's writing a book about Mark and they'll split that 50/50 too. Anthony said that Mark gets the money. Mark was agreeing but Gary said he wants to take him out of the room to see what Mark says when he's not in there.
Howard asked Mark if he has seen any money. Mark said he has. He said he has seen more than he should. Howard asked if he really had a girlfriend he had sex with. Mark said yes.
Howard had Anthony come back in after that. Howard said that Mark did say he gave him money. Howard said maybe he thinks he's going to get beheaded because of that beard.
Howard asked why Anthony got Mark out of his mom's house. Mark said he wasn't getting along with his mom and he had to be on his own. Howard asked if she ever caught him masturbating. Mark said yes. He said yes to a bunch of questions. Howard asked if he keeps jerking off when his mom walks in. Mark said he did. Howard asked if it just feels too good to stop. Mark said yes. He was answering yes or no to most of the questions Howard asked.
Howard asked Mark what his mom was doing. Anthony said that his mom was spending Mark's money. He said he'd have to go to the bank and give him the money directly. He said that he didn't want his mom to have it. Howard asked if he ever came on his mom's face. Mark said no.
Howard asked Mark who he's voting for in the next election. Mark said Donald Trump. Howard asked if he's ever jerked off to Trump's wife Melania. Mark said he has. Howard asked if he's jerked off to other candidates. Mark said he has jerked off to Hillary Clinton. He said he's never jerked off to Caitlyn Jenner. He said that was sad. Mark said he would never do that. He said he doesn't jerk off to transgender people. Howard asked if he would jerk off to a transgender that looks just like Anna Kooiman. Mark said he wouldn't do it. Anthony said he caught him jerking off in his kitchen once when he came back from tour.
Howard asked where Mark finishes. Mark said he jerks off onto the floor. Howard asked if he has a favorite type of porn. Mark said he likes XVideo. He said he likes girl on girl and MILFs. Howard asked when he cums on the floor is it on carpet. Mark said it is and he just leaves it there. Howard asked if his carpet has years and years of loads on it. Mark said it dries up. Howard asked if it's one spot or different spots. Mark said it's different parts. Howard said that's so he doesn't create a hill. Howard said he would think the proper thing to do is to cum into a sock or a tissue. Mark said he goes into a plastic cup sometimes. Howard said that something must get him off cumming into the carpet. Mark said he doesn't think about it.
Howard asked if his mom complained about the cum in the carpet. Mark said she did. Mark said he stays in touch with her on the phone. He said she's about a half hour from her now. He said she didn't want him coming up there. Howard said a man has to be free to shoot a load on his carpet. Howard asked if he still works in a grocery store. Mark said he's working in a casino. He said he does odds and ends in the kitchen. He said he sweeps, takes out the trash and things like that.
Howard asked if Mark's masturbation was down when he was with the girlfriend. Mark said it was. He said she wanted it every day for a while. He said he had to stop it thoguh. He said he was too tired. Mark said he just stopped jerking off and having sex.
Howard said this is some story. He said no wonder Anthony is writing a book. Howard asked Anthony about the book. Anthony said it's already amazing and it's only half done. Howard asked if they need a second half. Anthony said maybe not. He said the first half is amazing. He said he could end it there.
Howard asked Anthony about managing Mark and how crazy that is. Anthony said that it is crazy but he loves it. He said Mark is like a little brother to him. Howard asked if Mark would ever jerk Anthony off. Mark said he'd pass. Howard asked if he'd do it to save his life. Mark said he would.
Howard asked Mark about his carpet and what color it is. Mark said it's brown. Howard said the cum must really show up. Mark said it does. Howard asked if he just waits for it to dry up to vacuum it up. Mark said yes.
Howard asked Mark where he jerks off to Hillary Clinton. Mark said he just sees her on TV. He said she's in a pantsuit when he jerks off to her. Howard asked what the sexy feature is on her. Mark said her body. Howard said you never see her titties. Mark said he just has a fascination for her. Howard asked what he thinks about. Mark said he'd like to fuck her and Monica Lewinsky. Howard asked if he ever jerked off to Carly Fiorina. Mark said he did. He said he liked her tits and her eyes. Howard said Carly listens to the show so put the word out. Mark said he'd like to go out with her and fuck her.
Howard asked Mark what position he's in when he's fucking Hillary. Mark said doggy style. He said he likes a full bush too. Howard asked if that's in the book. Anthony was laughing.
Robin said that Hillary is going to hear about this in her notes today. Howard said she probably will. Howard said she's going to need to read his book.
Howard asked Mark what he likes about Trump. He asked about the wall and what he thinks about that. Mark said he doesn't care about the wall. He said he just thinks he's cool.
Howard asked if Mark has ever finished on the ceiling. Mark said no. Anthony said he saw cum on his drapes. Mark denied it at first but then admitted he had done it there. Anthony said that it's like Spider-Man shooting all over the room.
Howard asked Mark if he has ever tasted his own cum. Mark said no. Howard said he has smelled his. He said it's like ammonia. mark eventually admitted he has smelled and tasted it. He said that it tasted like vanilla ice cream. Howard said he has to share with Robin then.
Howard said Mark looks fabulous. Mark put the word out to his friend Sonny that he's cool with him being with his ex-girlfriend. He said he still hangs out with him but not her. Anthony said that she does hang out with them. He said he's seen them watching TV together. Mark said that doesn't happen anymore. He said it's too painful for him.
Howard asked Mark if he has ever played with his asshole at all. Mark said he has. Howard said he doesn't recommend it. Howard asked if Mark misses pussy. Mark said he does. He said he hasn't had it since October. Howard said it's such a great thing. Howard asked if he has ever used a cock ring. Mark said no. Howard said Ronnie has. Mark said that's what he's heard.
Howard asked Mark if he's ever thought about having sex with Robin. Mark said he has and he imagines her going down on him. Howard asked Mark if he has ever wiped his finger on the carpet when he has shit on it. Mark said he wipes it on his shirt. Howard asked if he wipes it on the drapes. Mark said no. Howard said don't mind him if he doesn't come over to his house. Mark said that's fine.
Howard asked Mark about how he cleans his computer when he jerks off. Mark said he has wipes to clean it. Howard said Mark is a fascinating young man. Howard said he loves when he comes in there. Howard said the book is the focus now. Howard asked if they have a publisher yet. Anthony said not yet. Howard said he's sure they will get one after today. Howard said try to make a good deal.
Howard asked about where Mark wipes his boogers. Mark said he uses a tissue. Mark said he will flick it once in a while. Robin said if they went to his apartment for DNA they'd be there forever. Howard asked Mark how often he washes his sheets. Mark said every week. Howard said he knows better than JD. JD said he does it every week now. Howard said you know he's lying. Mark laughed and said it's bullshit. Howard asked if he's ever tasted his own boogers. Mark said no way. He said he won't even taste his own shit.
Howard asked Mark how much he shits. Mark said it's morning, noon and night. Howard asked what he's eating that makes him shit so much. Mark said it's just eggs, bacon... Howard asked if he shits big piles. Mark said once in a while he does. Howard asked if he looks at it. Mark said sometimes he does. Howard asked if he's ever shit his pants. Mark said no. Howard asked if he wipes with just toilet paper. Mark said he does. Howard asked about wiping and if he scoops it out. Mark said some gets on his fingers. Howard asked if he ever leaves shit in there. Mark said no.
Howard asked Mark if he has ever jerked off while shitting. Mark said no but eventually said that once in a while he does.
Howard asked if he's ever rubbed his ass on the floor like a dog. Mark said no. Howard said he has to go back on vacation. Howard said he wishes Mark luck with the book. Howard asked Anthony what the process is for writing it. Anthony said there's something to write about every day. He said if he explained it to people they wouldn't even believe it.
Howard asked Mark what his mom said to him when she caught him jerking off. Mark said she just told him to stop it. He didn't stop though. Howard said they should study him. He said he's like a medical experiment. Howard said this has gone on way longer than he thought it would.
Howard said that Anthony is halfway through with the book. Howard said they want to get a publisher interested in it. He said he can't imagine anyone would pass on this chance to put the book out. Howard said this has been fascinating.
Mark thanked Jimmy Kimmel for inviting them to the birthday show. Howard asked if Jimmy invited him. Mark said he's not sure but he was a great host.
Howard suggested a book name for Mark's book. He said it could be called ''I cum on my Carpet: The Mark the Bagger story.'' Anthony said that's a good one. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
- Steve From Florida. 01/19/17. 8:05am
Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Steve From Florida's ban was lifted and he was allowed to call back in. Here's my rundown:
Back Live - Ronnie's Hypnosis Email Feedback. 01/17/17. 7:00am
Howard and the guys were back live this morning. Howard started the show singing along to his opening song and Robin asking if he was Indian because of the way he was singing. Howard kept singing. Howard played a fake Jesse Ventura announcement for who they had coming in today. He said they have Matthew McConaughey coming in today.
Howard said they had off yesterday. He said they take that day off every year. He said they take off any holiday. He said that it makes no sense to be there on a holiday. He said they just need to be there when people are commuting.
Howard said that they got a lot of email about Ronnie's hypnosis. Howard said Fred went through the mail and found a lot. Howard read through some of the email they got about Ronnie and his hypnosis. Howard said he could read millions. He said a lot of bits are coming out of that. He said he has some audio of Ronnie acting all happy out in the hall. He had him laughing at Sal about using Aquanet on his hair. He said his mom used to use that. Then he was all happy about Jim McClure being there.
Howard said who knew that hypnosis could get rid of unhappiness. Howard said he's got an interesting laugh. Howard read more email about Ronnie's hypnosis. Howard played another clip of Ronnie as ''Jamie.''
Robin said she found it interesting that he held things back about hearing his parents in a threesome. Howard said he revealed that he saw their legs under the door. Howard said his subconscious is a scary place. Howard played a song that Ronnie sang about seeing his parents under the door.
Howard read more email about Ronnie. Someone said they can see that being part of the Best of 2017 segment at the end of the year. Howard said he got an email from Jared Fogel saying that even he found Ronnie creepy. Howard read even more email about how funny that segment was.
Howard played a new phony phone call the guys made to Big Foot using clips of Ronnie as Jamie. Big Foot was going along with the bit and had phone sex with ''Jamie.'' Big Foot said he had company there so he had to let Jamie go.
Howard said it proves again that Big Foot will fuck anything. Robin said she was surprised he had company. Howard said they're tied up in the basement.
Howard said he had so many emails about that but he can't read them all. Howard read one from Bill Cosby saying he found it disturbing. Howard read some email about Neil Patrick Harris.
Ban Lifted For Steve From Florida (Bobo). 01/17/17. 7:10am
Howard said the ban is lifted on Bobo or Steve From Florida. Howard took a call from Steve who said it's hard to get used to being Steve from Florida. Steve said people are torturing him about it. Howard said that when Bobo lost his name he was near suicidal. He said he told him that maybe he could win his name back. He said it got really weird in there. He said he may have been in tears.
Howard read some notes from Shuli about what Bobo has been up to. Howard read a note that Steve wrote. In it he says that his name is Steve Bowe. He said he calls himself Bowie thoguh. Steve said that the whole family dropped the I in the name. Howard asked why they would do that. Steve said he doesn't know. He said they did it on his grandfather's side though. Howard said his name isn't Bowie anymore. Howard said that would be like him saying his name is Stern but they dropped the R and the E. He said you just can't do that.
Howard read more of the letter that he wrote to Twitter. He was requesting to be verified on Twitter. He has a fan base of 30,000. He was asking to be verified because other people are trying to be Bobo. He was saying that he was made popular by Howard Stern. Steve wrote more about why he'd like to be verified.
Howard said Steve wrote to Twitter about why he's upset. Steve said that he gets nothing but ogida from this. Steve said they want him to change his handle but he won't do it. He said he's Bobo, not Steve from Florida.
Howard said Steve thinks that he'd have more followers if he was verified. Howard said he's tortured over this whole thing. Gary said Steve wrote that out and sent it in the mail. Steve said there's only one location to do that. Howard said that's odd that you have to do that. Jason said that's not true. He said you can fill out an online form. Steve said good luck doing that. He didn't know what a URL was.
Howard took a call from a guy who requested a 2 week extension on the ban. Steve from Florida said that's not funny. The caller said Bobo in Spanish means ''Dummy.'' Howard said the kids made fun of him in school and instead of calling him Bozo they called him Bobo. Bobo said they called him and his brother that. He said it goes way back. Howard said that's a bad memory though. Steve said he had to come up with some catch phrase.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Howard is being rough on Bobo. Howard said it's Steve from Florida. She said that Tan Mom needs to be punished for what she did to Howard trying to scam him out of 600 bucks.
Howard said he has the president from Twitter on the phone. It was Sal telling Bobo to fuck off. He told him to eat shit you asshole.
Howard said they sent Steve from Florida to a Spooky Empire Con. He said it's a convention for horror. He said it's a spooky con. Howard said they asked Bobo if he wanted to go cover it. Howard said it's as bad as you'd think it would be. Steve said he almost died there. He said the Jason guy almost choked him out. Howard said Wolfie told them about wearing a Bobo jacket and shirt. Howard said they decided to give him a month to prepare for this spooky con. He said this was all his own work and he failed miserably.
Howard played a clip of Steve leaving a voicemail about what he was doing to prepare for this. He was talking about working on it for hours and hours. He said it was a lot of work and he was listening to a lot of clips so he's not mundane. Howard said that's some voicemail.
Howard got Wolfie on the phone and asked if he was with Bobo at the time. Wolfie said he was. Howard said the interviews went horribly. He said they had to edit them down because they were so bad. Howard said these are the good ones.
Howard said in this first clip he interviewed Elvira. Steve asked Elvira about being inducted into a horror hall of fame being the highlight of her career. She said it was pretty awesome. Bobo asked her about being in Playboy too but that was about it. Steve said that he didn't have some stuff prepared and Wolfie sent him off to do some interviews with people who he wasn't prepared for.
Howard had some audio of Wolfie asking Bobo about his interview with Elvira. Wolfie asked if he didn't know she was in Playboy. Bobo said he did know and he was trying to get her to talk more about it.
Howard said in this next clip Steve from Florida asked one of the hot actresses from the Halloween movies the same question twice. This was with Danielle Harris. Steve asked her which Halloween was her favorite. He asked the same question twice.
Steve said he didn't know anything about her. Howard asked why he has to ask the same question. Wolfie said she was so annoyed with Steve because she had so many people waiting in line. Howard played a Steve from Florida song parody.
Howard said each interview is worse than the last. Howard said listen to him with Butch Patrick. Howard said he played Eddie Munster. Howard said you have no idea how bad it was. Howard played the clip and Steve asked Butch to tell him about the Munsters. Butch talked about it being a job to him and how he got to hang out with some cool people. Steve asked if he ever hears from Marilyn. Butch said he does. Steve said he loves it and he thanked him for the interview.
Howard played Wolfie asking Steve how he felt that one went. Steve said that it went well and it felt organic to him. Steve thought it went really well. Howard played another song parody about Steve from Florida.
Howard said Steve tried to talk to Rick Flair but he pissed him off in 10 seconds. Howard played the clip and Steve asked Rick about using blood caps and Rick told him not to insult him because he's never used them. That was it for the interview.
Steve said the guy was like 99 years old and he stood up like he could do something to him. Wolfie said that he saw him dead lifting like 400 pounds last week. He said he could have done something.
Howard thanked Steve for the interviews. Steve said that he has another interview where he almost got choked out 3 times by some guy.
Howard took a call from a guy calling himself Paul Bobo. Paul said that Steve should get that eyebrow thing checked out. He said that it could mean he's ill. Howard said he shaved them off himself though. Paul said that maybe it's mental illness then.
Howard let Steve go after that. Steve said he's Steve from Flori-duh. Howard played a song parody about Steve from Florida. They went to break after that.
- Sal Believes Anything - May 4, 2016. 01/19/17. 8:35am
Next on today's replay show they played a segment from 2016 where Howard talked to Sal about his nutty beliefs. Here's my rundown from that day:
Howard's Stressful Career. 05/04/16. 7:00am
Howard started the show talking up the Rob Zombie opening song ''The Great American Nightmare.'' Howard said when they were in Washington DC they had a slogan of ''Crank it up.'' He said they thought that radio guys were such idiots that they wrote it out on a card so he'd remember to say it twice an hour. Howard said he's in the right business. He said his IQ must be like Albert Einstein in the radio business because he has no problem remembering that. Howard said they had kick ass rock and roll there but then some moms complained about the slogan and they had to take it down. Howard said they didn't like kick ass. Howard said they were trying to be bad but hold on to their McDonald's sponsorship. He said you can do that or throw all caution to the wind and see what happens.
Howard said when he first got to the station there they had McDonald's and Burger King. All of the traditional sponsors who are family image. Howard said he'd be on the air for a couple of days and no one would cancel. Then about a week later they'd start to cancel. He said they'd cancel their station and everyone looks at you sideways thinking they made a big mistake hiring you. He said he had to do the impossible and shoot up to number 1. He said he had to do that immediately or be fired. Howard said his career is so stressful. He said he thinks he doesn't get paid enough for that stress.
Howard said after a few weeks he has sponsors like Squatty Potty. Howard said they might even take offense. Howard said the people who have a thing you put your feet on to take a dump might not want to tarnish their image. Howard said the sales guys at NBC had it so easy. Howard said they'd pick up the phone and get ads for their station no problem. He said then he comes to NBC. He said week 1 was fine. By week 3 the only sponsor left was a shaving cream for a woman's vagina (Peau de Soie - Thanks Van). He said all of the other jocks had like 16 ivy league commercials. Howard said it's so stressful.
Howard said your first kid comes and then the second. He said he really had no game plan for feeding them. He said he's talking about shaving pussy for ad dollars. He said it's emasculating and humiliating. Robin said then he'd have to play Barry Manilow. Howard said at least at DC101 he could play rock. Howard said even that wasn't too crazy.
Howard said it's no wonder his ratings went up so fast. He said he had no commercials. Howard said they had a consultant come in and have them go commercial free for 2 months. Howard said they'd shoot right up to number 1 of course. Then they'd realize they had to make money and they'd put on commercials. Howard said the listeners feel so betrayed by that. Howard said people want crazy change but they don't know why. Howard said things were over after the commercials came back to the station.
Sal's Brilliance. 05/04/16. 7:10am
Howard said Sal told the guys that Prince's song ''Little Red Corvette'' is about a dog's cock. He said that he told the guy sin the back that. Howard said he thinks everyone knows that. Howard had Sal come in to talk about that. Sal came in wearing glasses and Howard said he looks smart until he opens his mouth.
Howard asked Sal what's up with that story. Sal said his buddy had a Vanity air freshener in his car. He said his friend told him that Prince used to like watching Vanity lick a German Sheppard's cock. Howard asked Sal if he really thinks that everyone knows that. He said his friend just told him that because he knows Sal is an idiot. Howard said that's why he told him that. Howard said that's what he assumes is going on. Sal said it might be true.
Howard said Raspberry Beret is about a gaping asshole. Howard asked if he knows what it really is. Sal said it's when you bang a girl in the ass and you pull your cock out and it looks like a raspberry beret. Howard said he's an imbecile. Howard told him to leave. Howard said that guy is on the payroll.
Howard said they could do 4 hours a day of Sal material. Howard said Sal is in love with this Long Island Psychic and her husband. Howard said that Sal brags that Theresa can connect to the afterlife and understand any language, even animals. Howard said if your dog dies she can speak dog. Howard said people are imbeciles and that's why religion flourishes. Howard said just doing something on Sal's religion would be great. Howard said all of a sudden it all becomes universal to Theresa. Howard said everyone speaks English when they're dead, even animals.
Howard said Sal thinks that you can connect to dead people on Ayahuasca. Howard said he doesn't know that people are just hallucinating.
Howard said all of that doesn't stop Sal from doing great work. Howard said they did a great Jack and Rod Show bit. Howard said Sal introduces Bernie Sanders as ''Mr. Bernie Sanders'' instead of Senator. Howard said he can't even go into all of the Sal stuff. Howard said they have to play some of his brilliant stuff to show why he works there.
Howard said Sal was talking about why he thinks Donald Trump will make a great president. He thinks he'll be great because he gets a lot of pussy. Sal came in and said that the guy gets a lot of vagina and he does well. He said guys like George Clooney are very happy and successful. Howard asked if John Stamos would be the greatest ever. Sal said no but he has a lot of confidence. He said he'll be good at it because it helps the mind and clears the mind. Howard said Sal is so befuddled because he gets no pussy. Sal said no but look at Bill Clinton. He said Bill couldn't think straight. He said he shoved a cigar up an intern's cunt. Howard told him to get out. Sal said he's making too much sense.
Howard said they're all clear that Sal would make a bad president. Howard played the Jack and Rod Show bit that Sal and Richard did with an author of a book. They started to talk to him and then said Bernie Sanders just came in. They had fake Bernie talking to the guy but then he has to take a bathroom break. They kept Bernie's microphone on as he was shitting. Sal and Richard had the author keep talking about his book as Bernie was shitting. The doctor could still hear the shitting sounds so he kept telling them he could hear it. They went to break after that.
- Happy Birthday Howard. 01/19/17. 9:00am
Next on today's replay show they played a segment from this week where Howard talked about his birthday and a bunch of other things. Here's my rundown:
News Stories And Cat Rescue. 01/17/17. 7:40am
After the break Howard came right back and said he got aggravated by Gary talking to him this morning. He said Gary told him about a report he saw on CBS morning news about Jackie Evancho performing at the Trump inauguration. Howard said Gary told him that she has a sister who is transgender. Howard said Gary was telling him this story and it drives him crazy because the NY Times did an article about what it's been like for Jackie since she took the offer. Howard said that the story was interesting because of the transgender sister thing. Howard said the whole thing is so interesting and then CBS news reads it and puts it on the news. Howard said so many great newspapers have stories like this but they're getting thinner and thinner. Howard said the NY Daily News had a TV reporter who he used to like reading and now that guy is gone. Howard said so many things have been cut down. He said it makes him sad.
Howard said CBS News must not have a news department. He said they just read the NY Times report and act like it's their news. He said everything annoys him.
Howard said he was happy to read that the Ringling Brothers circus is going out of business. Howard said he always hated the idea of a 3 ring circus. Howard said he went a few times as a kid but he's not sure it was even with his parents. He said it was so fucking annoying because they had 3 rings and you didn't know where to look. He said they'd have all of this stuff going on and you can't look at it all.
Howard said that they had all of these animals that they'd take from city to city. Howard said they had elephant and they'd whip them and put that little cap on them. He said they should put one on Bobo. Howard said they never went to the circus with the family. He said he thinks he went with a friend for a birthday party. Howard said his mother thought it was nonsense. He said fuck them anyway.
Howard said he read they're $8 million in debt. He said they've been doing that for over 146 years. Howard read some of the story about why they're shutting down. He said he's glad they're shutting down but not happy that people lost their jobs.
Howard said his wife did a kitten rescue right in front of him in Florida. Howard said they were on a walk and Beth saw this kitten hiding in the bushes. Howard said he figured it was feral and it would never come out. Howard said Beth reached in with one hand and pulled it out. He said she took her shirt off on a main road to wrap it up so it won't scratch her. Howard said she was walking around with no shirt on. Howard said he was getting upset about that. Howard said he wasn't going to take his shirt off. He said he has a belly on him. He said he doesn't want anyone photographing that.
Howard said they were walking along the road with her bra on. He said they had a long way to go. Howard said she was practically topless. He said it was like animal rescue porn. Howard said she would have had to have lost the bra to take home another one.
Howard said he's really out of shape. He said it's not pretty. Robin asked what he's comparing to. Howard said he shaved his body hair to make it look groomed and it's all uneven. He said it looks like he was in a fire.
Howard said he has patches of hair under his tits. He said he shaves his belly and he's so lazy. Howard said he loses interest when he's in the middle of it. Howard said that's why he didn't take his shirt off.
Howard said Beth told him that there was a guy trimming his hedges and Beth asked him to turn off his motor while they walked by. Howard said he had to do that. He yelled out and asked him to turn it off for a minute. He said they were doing cat rescue. Howard said the guy got a load of a woman walking down the road in her bra. He was like ''yes sir!'' Howard said he felt like he was in a cuckold video. Howard said Beth's shorts were like to her pubic bone. Howard said they were saving this kitten and the guy was staring at Beth's tits. He said the guy was fine with that.
Howard said he named the kitten Eden because they found her in a garden. Howard said they heard from a bunch of places down there because they had been trying to save her for weeks. Howard said it worked out well.
Howard said he's trying to groom himself and he can't get into it. He said if he was too into it then it might be a problem. Howard said his daughter was into the cat rescue thing too.
Howard said they celebrated his birthday last week. Howard thanked Robin for her gifts. Howard said he wrote her a thank you note. Howard said 800-Flowers sent him a Bonsai plant. Howard said he gave it away. He said he feels bad for plants because he doesn't take care of them. He said he'd rather not see it die.
Howard said he should have Gary shave him. He had Ralph do it the first time he ever did it. Howard said Ralph had him go outside to do it. Howard said he had him on his knees shaving him and the contractor he had working in the house came out and saw that. Howard said he was trying to explain it and Ralph stayed there shaving him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's all for helping cats. He said maybe he should work on people. Howard said not so much. He said people cause him a lot of problems. The caller said that there are a lot of homeless people who need help. Howard asked if he's supposed to help with them too. He said he gives plenty of money to that kind of stuff. Howard said he doesn't brag about it all. Howard said just because he likes animals doesn't mean he doesn't care about people.
Howard said his wife is into animal rescue. Robin said people do that all the time when you say you care about animals. Howard said that guy is an asshole. He said every time he talks about his wife saving animals they do that. Howard asked what one thing has to do with the other.
Howard took another call from a woman who asked why he didn't take his shirt off instead of Beth. Howard said it's better that she did. He said he has a belly. The caller said he's too hard on himself. Howard said you can see Beth on her Instagram. He said he instagram'd her in her bra. Howard said he just wanted to get her home. He said she thought it was just like a running top though. Howard said it was no running top. He said he should be wearing a running top. The caller said Howard looks great and he has to stop being so hard on himself.
Howard said there were a bunch of Birthday wishes for him. He said JD put together a bunch. Howard played one where they got his name wrong calling him Howard Stein. Howard said on Good Day Philadelphia they said that Joe Frazier was going to be making an appearance but he died in 2011. Howard played that clip. They said he was turning 73 that day.
Howard said that FOX and Friends wished him a happy birthday. He said something annoyed him about that. They mentioned he's 63 now. The woman said that his movie is ''actually pretty good.'' Howard said that's what annoyed him. He said he hates it when they say his age. Howard said he was a young man. He said he's not sure what the fuck happened.
Howard said he has to think about dying now. He said he's getting up there in age. Robin said time goes on.
Howard said that this show tried to guess whose birthday it was. Howard played a clip and they had clues about him being a judge on America's Got Talent, he manages radio commercials and he has amazing hair. Howard said they must have a hard time with the concept of radio. Howard said he thought that was kind of weird. He said someone had to approve that copy. He said that doesn't make sense. JD said there's a web site that has that in his bio. Howard said that still doesn't make sense.
Howard said Matthew McConaughey will be in today. Howard said he has a lot to talk to him about. Howard said Marfan Mike sang a song for him. He played a clip of Mike singing Happy Birthday to him. Howard went to break after that.
- Staff At The Shrink - March 15, 2016. 01/19/17. 9:30am
Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about the staff going to the shrink. Here's my rundown from that day:
Jeff The Drunk Calls In. 03/15/16. 7:40am
After the break Howard came right back and played a clip of Elephant Boy talking about who their guest is today. Howard said he's a good announcer.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he lost 19 pounds. Howard asked if he cut off his arm. Jeff said no. Howard kept asking if he cut off his arm. Jeff said no. He said Bubba the Love Sponge wants him to come to his show. He wanted him to ask if it was okay. Howard said don't bother him with his fucking requests. Howard asked how old he is. Jeff said he's 48. Howard said don't call and ask permission. Jeff said Bubba told him to. Howard played a song parody about Jeff and his cough that went on for a couple of minutes.
Howard said that Jeff and Bubba can figure that out. Howard asked why Jeff's problems are his problems. Howard said maybe Jeff's lump is on the line. Howard picked up and The Lump was there. Howard asked if he can believe this. The Lump said that he can go to Florida as long as he doesn't come back. The Lump said he can do whatever he wants to do. Howard said Jeff can go on any show he wants. He said he can go on Imus' show or Mad Dog's show. Howard said he doesn't give a fuck.
Jeff said Bubba won't let him do it unless he gives permission. Howard said he doesn't operate that way. Howard said Jeff should figure out what he should do. Jeff said it's called being a professional. Howard said he's not god and he doesn't tell people what to do. Jeff told Howard he lost 19 ponds again. The Lump said he lost it by squeezing the pus out of him.
Howard played another bit about Jeff and his trailer. Howard said Jeff said the other day he has 3 bedrooms in that trailer. Howard said he's not sure how they divvy that up. Howard said Jeff also says he has 2 baths. Howard asked if he uses them for storage. Jeff said yeah. Howard said Jeff can do what he wants to do. He let him and The Lump go after that.
Therapy Discussions. 03/15/16. 7:55am
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who asked if he ever thinks about quitting his psychiatrist. Howard said he needs to be in therapy. He said there is no question. Howard said it does help him a lot. Robin asked what he would do if he only had 2 days left in his life. Howard said he doesn't know but he just needs to go. Howard said Robin is cured but not everyone has that capability.
Jim asked if Fred has gone. Fred said he has. Howard asked why he didn't know that. Fred said he did. He said he has spoken about it. He said that they went to couple's therapy and he goes once in a while for a tune up. Howard asked how many times he goes in a year. Fred said he's not sure. He said he can go a for a few months without it. Howard asked what it was about himself that he needed therapy for. He wondered if it was around the time he changed his name. Fred said there are things that you're not happy about. Howard asked if he managed to change some things. Fred said there might be personal problems or the way he reacts to certain people.
Howard asked if his shrink quit after the first meeting. Fred said no but he has quit and gone to other people. Fred said he hasn't seen this latest one in about a year. Howard asked if Benjy came up in any of his sessions. Fred said he did not. Howard said he comes up in every session for him.
Jim asked when Fred started. Fred thought about it and said maybe about 30 years ago. Howard asked if he went more than once a week. Fred said he never did. Howard said that going once a week is bullshit. Howard said he cant be in psychotherapy for that little time.
Jim asked if he ever cried in a session. Fred said he hasn't. He said maybe after one but not during one. Howard said everything is fascinating about Fred.
Howard said that Fred chews on his pens so you know he has anger. Fred said he doesn't do that anymore. Howard asked if he's cured like Robin claims she is. Robin said she said that about cancer. Gary said that's a lie. Howard said Robin has said she is cured. Fred said he has to back Gary on this. Howard said Robin has said she is cured.
Jim asked if Gary has ever seen a psychiatrist. Howard said he did for his teeth. Howard said Gary had work done on his nails for a fungus he had. Howard said Gary is disgusting. Gary said he did go to a shrink. Howard said he thinks a bunch of the guys there share a shrink. Gary said it's just one person and that person doesn't go anymore. Howard said he doesn't think a shrink should see your friends. Howard said he thinks it's like one of those guys that's like going to a massage. Gary said he never discussed his friend in therapy. Howard said he doesn't care anyway.
Howard said Gary had a birthday yesterday. He asked if he did anything special. Gary said it was a quiet night last night. He said Mary had to get a tooth pulled so it was a very quiet night. Gary said Mary's birthday is today. Howard said it's kismet. Howard said that she's going to get another tooth pulled just in case Gary wants to get frisky.
Howard had a clip of Michael Rapaport singing happy birthday to Gary. Howard said Rapaport is really hung up on Gary. Howard said Gary swears he doesn't have a problem with him.
More Phone Calls. 03/15/16. 8:05am
Howard said that Calista Flockhart is on Supergirl and she is hot. Howard said she's got a killer body and she looks hot. Fred said she's 51 years old. Howard said he thinks she's so hot. Howard said the way she walks is hot. They talked about Robin Wright being hot too. Howard said she has got to be great in bed. Howard said if she's not then he gives up. Howard said he's not sure if Calista is good in bed. Robin said she's not sure if she has ever had kids. Howard said maybe that's how she stays so hot. Fred said she has a son but he's adopted.
Howard said he was at a dinner one night and Calista was there but he didn't talk to her that much. Howard said he didn't think if her as being hot there. He said now he sees it.
Howard said he saw a couple of women talking about Donald Trump and they bring up Howard Stern. He said they were talking about what Trump has talked about on the show and one woman said Trump said a woman can't be a 10 if you're flat chested. Howard said he thinks a 10 can be flat chested but Trump doesn't think so. Howard said it would be so great if he is elected President and that's a quote.
Jim said it would be great for the show if he does get elected. Howard said he thinks that if he called Donald Trump he'd appoint him to a position. Howard said he's not sure he'd want one though. Howard said he likes Hillary a lot but she ignores him. Howard said he thinks it would be fun to be on the Supreme Court and make his decisions right there on the show. Howard said Robin could boil it all down for him and he'd make his decisions based on that. Howard said he's not sure what other positions he could take. Howard said he'd be great.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Howard was big on 10 Cloverfield Lane. He said he saw it on Thursday night and was kind of let down by the ending. Howard said he liked the movie a lot. Robin said the ending was great. Robin said she did see a guy who said it was the worst movie ever. Howard said it was such a great movie. Howard said he's not bullshitting about Sally Field's movie being great either. Howard said he'd give 10 Cloverfield Lane a B+. Howard said the ending wasn't even the original ending. Howard said he knows what it was but he can't say what it was.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he felt like Sally Field was disappointed in her career about the comedic movies she's made. Howard said he thought it was fascinating that she was so disappointed in doing The Flying Nun. He said that she had complete disdain for Smokey and the Bandit. Howard said you forget the context in which she did things. Howard said she did Sybil and she was an ugly hag in that. Howard said she went and did Smokey and the Bandit and she was hot. Howard said that it was kind of a shit movie but it was a big hit. The caller said she kind of shit on the stuff she did. Howard said she was honest about what she thought of those things. Howard said that most actors aren't honest about what they've done. They'll just say it was all great. Howard said Sally said she has never seen an episode of The Flying Nun.
The caller said that Howard and Gary often say that they wait ''on line'' instead of ''in line.'' Howard said he doesn't think about it. The caller said that online is on a computer and in line is standing in line. Howard said that on line is fine and that was used before the internet was around. Fred said he's reading a thing about how New Yorkers typically say that. Howard asked who this caller thinks he is. Howard said he's making him cuckoo. Howard said he has to take a break anyway. They went to break after that. They played a prank call Sal made to a pizzeria where he gave a long nonsense name for his order.
- Beetlejuice Game - November 7, 2016. 01/19/17. 9:55am
Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard played a Beetlejuice game with a caller. Here's my rundown from that day:
Phony Phone Calls And More. 11/07/16. 8:25am
After the break Howard came right back and said he has a clip of a lady on CNN saying Mazel Tov Cocktails instead of Molotov cocktail. Howard played that and asked Robin how she liked that. Robin said they must be fun cocktails.
Howard said he has a new Jack and Rod Show phony phone call to play. Howard said they have authors on the show and they don't realize what they're getting involved with. Howard played the clip and Sal and Richard interview a guy who wrote a book and ask him about Hillary Clinton who they have on the show with them. They have fake Hillary of course. She rips a phone book in half and smashes a guitar over her head to prove how healthy she is.
Robin asked who the author was. Howard said Sal didn't know how to say the word ''Authenticity'' in the start of that call. He replayed it and Sal said ''Authencity'' and the guy corrected him. Sal said it was close enough.
Howard said he has a couple of things to share. He said Shuli called Beetlejuice the other day. He said they realized that Beetlejuice has an OCD thing. He said he has trouble hanging up on Shuli. Howard said he didn't know he was capable of this. Howard played the clip and Beetlejuice kept saying he'd see Shuli later and he wouldn't hang up. Shuli kept saying goodbye but Beetlejuice wouldn't hang up. Howard said this went on and on. He said he can't even play it all because it went on so long. Robin said maybe he doesn't know how to hang up. She said maybe people hang up on him and he doesn't understand. Howard said maybe his brain doesn't have that thing that tells you when you're supposed to hang up.
Howard said he had a weird moment last week when he was leaving. He said Mel Gibson was up there doing a Town Hall thing in the fish bowl studio. Howard said he thinks Vince Vaughn was there with him too. Howard said he didn't hear Vince get a word in. Howard said he was walking out and he thought if he saw him that he'd start calling his name. Howard said he asked if he was talking and ran out when he knew he was talking. He said everyone can see you walking in the halls because they have glass studios. Howard said he was worried that something would happen but it was all in his mind.
Howard played a bit that the guys created using fake Mel Gibson where he sees Howard and yells about him.
Gary said he did run into Mel and someone introduced him. He said Mel told him to tell Howard to fuck off. Gary said he thinks he was joking and cracking a joke. Howard said he's kind of like Ronnie that way. Howard said maybe he's doing a Ronnie impression. He said that would change everything. Howard asked Gary what he said. Gary said he just said he had to go because he had to go do the Wrap Up Show.
A Beetlejuice Theme Song Game. 11/07/16. 8:35am
Howard took a call from a guy and asked if he wants to play a Beetlejuice game for a speaker system. The caller said he did. Howard said the speaker is valued at ''noine, noine, noine point noine, noine.'' Howard said they haven't been able to get in touch with Sour Shoes in 3 weeks now. Howard said they sent a letter to the house and all of that. He said they can't get through to his phone or even mail. Howard said he used to call there every 5 minutes. Robin asked if they can go have the police knock on his door. Howard said no but Leonard Nimoy is IN Search Of... He played a bit the guys created for the old show where they had him looking for Sour Shoes.
Howard said Sour used to call Scott the Engineer at 9:19 every morning. Robin said maybe he ran up so many phone bills that the family went bankrupt.
Howard got back to the caller, Mike, who he was going to play the game with. Howard said this is the Beetlejuice TV Theme game. Howard said that it's so much fun. He said he has to get 3 out of 5 and he wins the speaker system. Howard said he has Mike from Ohio on the phone to play. Howard said what they did was play theme songs from popular TV shows and they even included the name of the theme in the song. Howard said Mike has to say if Beetlejuice can properly identify the song. Howard said they played him the Flintstones theme and asked if he knows what that is. Howard said this is practice so no pressure. Mike said Beetlejuice is a flip of a coin but he thinks he does know that. Howard said it is cartoon. Howard said he could know it. Beet knew it and said ''It's the Flintstones you moron.''
Howard said the next one they played was the Woody Woodpecker song. Howard asked Mike if he thinks Beetlejuice will know that one. Mike said he does not know that one. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''Dafity duck.''
Howard said Mike is on the board. Howard said they played this next one which was the ''Three's Company'' theme. Howard asked Mike if he thinks Beetlejuice knows that one. Mike said he's saying no on that one. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''Jack Tripper... knock on my door... Three's Company, dude.'' He got that one right. Mike got it wrong.
Howard said they played Beetlejuice this next one and it was ''The Addams Family'' theme song. Howard asked Mike what he thinks. Mike said he thinks that he will know it. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''What you think I don't know that... it's the handle flammy you asshole.'' Howard said he's giving him that one even though it wasn't clear.
Howard said they played him the Beverly Hillbillys theme next. Mike said he's going to say yes to that one too. Howard said it is in reruns. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''It's Cango Cowboy.'' Howard said he has to hear that one again. Howard played him saying Cango Cowboy again.
Howard said Mike has 2 right and 2 wrong and he has one left. Howard said they played Beetlejuice the ''Batman'' theme song. Howard asked if Beetlejuice will get that right. Mike said he's going to say that Beetlejuice will get it right. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''It's calendar... I know who it is.'' Howard said he can't give Mike the prize. He said he gave it his best shot. Howard said he can't give him the prize. Howard said it was so close. He let Mike go. Robin said you can't predict the Beet. Howard said he can take a break and play another round. Robin said she's still back on Three's Company and how he knew Jack Tripper's name.
Howard had a guy from Canada on the phone. He asked if he can play. Gary said they're checking on it. Gary said the answer is no. Howard said Bruno can't play. Bruno asked if Howard about the countless interviews Howard has with celebrities and if he has any that he didn't have a good interview with. Howard said what he thinks he's asking if he has had any regrets with any interviews. Howard said there are some when he wished he had asked more questions. He said he has a list of those people in case they come back in there. Howard said he has things that he wanted to ask Billy Joel. Howard said he can look it up quick. Howard looked up the list and said he has the following people on the list. Howard said it was Dan Rather, Rob Lowe, Larry David and Peter Frampton. Howard said there are more from early on in his career that he'd like to have a do over with. He said Eddie Murphy is one. Robin said the big one is Robin Williams and that can't be done. Howard said unless they dig him up and bring him in there. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break a short time later.
Beetlejuice Theme Song Game Round 2. 11/07/16. 8:55am
After the break they played a phony phone call the guys made to an internet radio show with fake Donald Trump. They also played a ''The Fabulous Life of Robin Quivers'' bit and James Brown's ''Sex Machine'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and listened to the James Brown song for a few seconds. Howard said he has to get back to the Beetlejuice game so he can give away that SVS sound system. They had Beetlejuice singing one of his original songs.
Howard took a call from a woman named Stacy who asked if Howard ever found the bowls that he wanted to mix his paints in. She said they sent him these bowls and she never got anything thanking her. Howard said he's going to say this with peace and love. He said he wishes people would not send him things. Howard said a lot of that stuff doesn't pass through his hands. Howard said 99 percent of it is stuff he wouldn't like so he never sees it. Stacy said she begs to differ. She said Howard didn't even see it. Howard said that's what he just said. Stacy said the person doesn't know him well enough. Howard said he asked Gary to at least write a note. Howard said he was just told that Eric the Actor was buried in the tiny bowl she sent.
Howard said that he's saying this with peace and love that all bowls will be tossed. Stacy said if Howard can stop by her Paint Your Own Pottery place. Howard said he thinks that was a plug. Stacy said she didn't name the place. Howard said he has to get to this game.
Howard said he's going to play the Beetlejuice game with Stacy now. Howard asked if she's married. Stacy said she is and her husband is a vet. Howard told her to thank him for his service.
Howard got to the game and played the Andy Griffith Show theme song. Stacy said no. Beet will not know it. Howard said she knows what she knows. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''It's the Ampa Griffin (Andy Griffith) Show...''
Howard said Stacy only has to get 3 more right. Howard played the Jetsons theme song. Stacy said she thinks Beetlejuice will know that one. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''It's Bugs Bunny show.''
Howard said Stacy has to get all three right. Stacy said she'll take her time this time. Howard played the Honeymooners theme song. Howard asked Stacy what she thinks. Stacy asked Robin. Stacy said she'll go with Robin and say no. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''That's the fucking Honeymooners.'' Howard said Stacy got knocked right out. Howard said she got all three wrong. Howard said he bets she thought she could win. Stacy said she did. She said she has a college degree and she shouldn't have gone. Howard asked what college that was. She said it was Adelphi. Robin said that's Gary's alma mater.
Howard said he wants to give this speaker system away but he only has 4 more clips. Gary said he can put up another one. Howard got a woman named Liz on the phone. Howard asked if she's going to give him a hard time about bowls. Howard said he liked that Stacy thought Adelphi was a college. Howard said he has 5 clips now. He asked if Liz wants to play. Liz said she does. Howard said she's from North Carolina. Liz said she moved there from New York. She said that she lives in a house now but she misses out on the fun things in the city.
Howard said he thinks he'd do better in a place like North Carolina. Howard said he doesn't go to theater or anything. Howard said he could have a huge palace and it would cost him nothing. Liz said it gets boring there though. Howard said he's never bored and he never leaves the house. Howard said as long as he has his own room he's fine. Robin said the scenery might not inspire him. Howard said he likes North Carolina even though he's never been there.
Howard got to the game and played a clip of the Gilligan's Island theme song. Howard asked Liz if she thinks Beetlejuice will know that one. Liz said she will say he does know it. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''Oh the Gilligan Island.'' Close enough.
Howard played the theme for The Simpsons. Howard asked if Liz thinks Beetlejuice will know that one. Liz said she will go with yes. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''That's the Love Boat (or Lobo) you can't fool me...''
Howard played a clip of the theme for ''Happy Days'' and asked if Liz thinks Beetlejuice will know that. Liz said she's going with yes. Howard said Beetlejuice knows what he knows because he's Beetle. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''Oh the Fonz brother... the Happy Days.''
Howard played the theme for ''Sesame Street'' and asked Liz if she thinks Beetlejuice will know that one. Liz said she's going to say Beetlejuice will not know that one. Howard played Beetlejuice saying ''Oh that's Sanford and Son'' or something like that.
Howard said Liz won the speaker system. She said she's very excited about that. Howard had Gary saying ''Noine, noine, noine dot noine, noine.'' Liz asked for a flat Ronnie too. Gary said they don't have any currently. He said they do have Ronnie magnets though. Howard said she can have one of those. Liz sounded happy about that. Howard said just put Ronnie in a box and send her that. Howard said Beet thought The Simpsons was the Love Boat theme. He played Beet trying to get that theme. Beet got that one right. Robin asked why he thought the Simpsons was the same. Howard told her to go ask Beetlejuice that question. Howard went to break after that.
- Howard's Drinking. 01/19/17. 10:30am
Next on today's replay show they played a segment from this week where Howard talked about his drinking. Here's my rundown:
Chris Brown And Soulja Boy Feud Discussed. 01/17/17. 8:05am
After the break they played a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' song parody. They played a phony phone call where the guys used Robin's audio book clips to talk to Tan Mom. They also played Amy Winehouse ''You Know I'm No Good'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and asked what song that is again. Fred told him it was Amy Winehouse. Howard said that's a good song. Robin said she works well in it. Fred was playing clips of Robin singing over the song.
Howard said he loves how Robin sings. He asked who Robin is siding with Chris Brown or Soulja Boy. Robin didn't know about this feud they're in. Howard said that he would never fuck with a guy who has tattoos on his face. He said he knows that.
Howard played some audio of Soulja Boy going off on Chris Brown and calling him the N-word over and over. Howard said that he said it like 19 times. Howard said that's a lot. Robin asked where they got that. JD said it was on social media. Robin said that's what's wrong with social media. Howard said he says the N-word like some people say ''Um.''
Howard said Soulja Boy is upset with Chris Brown over this girl Karrueche. Howard had audio of Chris Brown responding and challenging him to a boxing match. Then Soulja Boy accepts the challenge. Soulja Boy calls him out on beating up Rihanna. He said he feels bad for her and that's why he chilled with her.
Howard said then things took a weird turn. He said Soulja Boy's mom got sick and he ended the beef. Howard played some audio of him apologizing for his acting out. He said that he's going to end this because his moms is in the hospital. He said no amount of money or fame can make him alright with his mom being sick. He said he knows she's not proud of what he's been doing lately. He said he wants to make music with Chris Brown and others. He apologized.
Howard said when he was a kid living in Roosevelt he loved hearing guys fight like this until it landed on him. He said then he couldn't fight to save himself. Howard said it's fun theater until it lands on you. Robin asked if this is fun theater. Howard said it is to him. Robin said it's really sad. She said it's just so basic. Howard said this stirred up a lot of memories for him.
Howard said Soulja Boy came out with a song about hitting 'em with the Draco. JD said that he's taking a shot at Chris Brown and 50 Cent. Howard played the song and he's singing about this gun he has and going after both of them. Fred threw in a few ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' clips.
Howard said that's an update on that. He said you should be following that. Robin said don't waste your time.
Drinking Discussions. 01/17/17. 8:20am
Howard took a call from a woman who asked what he drinks when he goes out. Howard said he might have a glass of wine. He said that's about it. He said he's not a big drinker. He said he was getting into wine but he went to the doctor and he told him he had to cut back a couple of years ago. He said that he had some elevation in some liver thing. He said the doctor told him not to drink for 3 months. Howard said he thought he didn't have a problem with that but he did. Howard said he stopped for 3 months. He said they took the test again and his level was down. He said he's sensitive to alcohol so he was told to limit it to 1 or 2 drinks a week. Howard said he figured he might as well not drink. He said anything he's into gets ruined.
Howard said now he'll have like one drink when he goes out to eat. He said he won't drink on school nights. Howard said he's the only one who cant drink. He said the doctor took away that one ounce of fun he was having.
Howard asked the caller what she drinks. She said she hardly drinks at all. Robin asked why she's calling in. She said she had to get on the air with something. Howard said he bets that Jeff the drunk doesn't have any problem with his drinking. He said Richard Christy too. Gary said he heard Richard was really drinking a lot. He said he was drinking craft beer with like 9 percent alcohol in them. He said Richard was talking about how drunk he got that night.
Howard said he heard that he started drinking at noon for an 8 o'clock game. Gary said that Richard had to be there even thoguh the game was delayed. Howard said Richard doesn't remember how he got home that night.
Robin said he has to be losing brain cells when he does that. Howard said he doesn't have that many. Howard said he doesn't remember getting home. Richard came in and said that it is a little fuzzy. He also told Howard he went to the doctor and he had high cholesterol but he went back a few weeks later and it was down after he lost 10 pounds.
Howard played some audio of Richard and the fans at this bar yelling about the Kansas City Chiefs. Richard said everyone there is from Kansas. He said it's like his own Cheers. Howard said it's so fucking weird that he found out about a bar like that. Richard said it was in a NY Times article that he read. JD said he has his own set up there. Richard said he has his own glasses that he uses there too. Howard asked what kind of money he spends there. Richard said he tips really well. JD said he's there for almost every Royals game too. Howard asked how many beers he drinks. JD said he wasn't here. Richard said he might drink one an hour. He probably had 11 that day.
Howard asked what he spent that night. Richard said it may have been 80. Gary said Richard puts that black stuff under his eyes when he goes there too. Robin asked if he's the only one who gets drunk. Richard said he's not.
Howard asked what his shits are like. Richard said they're solid. He said he eats a lot of beef. Howard said he wears a full Chief's uniform to the bar. Robin said that's not shocking. She said people do that. JD said Richard has uniforms for all of the Kansas City teams. Howard asked if he cries when they lose. Richard said it's like a funeral when they lose. He said they lost and it came down to a penalty that cost them the game pretty much.
Howard asked if his wife was there too. Richard said she was and she loves football. Howard asked if he drinks water too. Richard said he does. Howard said there are guys who say they know how to avoid getting cancer by moving their tobacco around in their mouths.
Howard asked if Richard took Monday off. Richard said he's been taking weekdays off from drinking. Gary said they went out once and Richard called to thank him and he called 15 minutes later to thank him again because he had forgotten that he had called. JD said he drinks wine too and his mouth turns purple. Howard asked if Richard worries about it killing him. Richard said they live in such a dangerous world anyway it doesn't.
Howard asked if he goes to the Chief's bar on Monday. Richard said he did. He said he was in the neighborhood so he went in to say hi to the bartender. Howard asked what time he went. Richard said it was like 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Richard said he had 2 more beers that day. Robin said she'd like to know how often he goes to say hi if he's not drinking. Richard said he'd do that.
Howard said Richard really loves drinking. Richard said he's due for a doctor appointment soon so he'll find out how he's doing. Howard said he had 2 glasses of wine and he was in trouble with his doctor.
Gary said that Richard drank 11 beers but that's like drinking 22 regular beers because of the alcohol content in what he was drinking. Howard said he might have to pick Richard for the death pool.
Howard said he wants to mention a death that happened. He said Dick Gautier died. He said he was Hymie the Robot on Get Smart. He said that was a great TV show. Robin said she wasn't a big fan of that show. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
today's show was over around 10:55am.