- AGT Scheduling Nightmare. 01/28/15. 7:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A song parody about Howard to the tune of The Beach Boys ''California Girls'', a George Takei song parody ''I Love Your Black Wang'', Dave Grohl performing ''My Hero'' at the Howard Stern Birthday Bash.
Howard started the show talking about how Fred was singing as they started the show. Howard said it was really disturbing. He said he was humming with headphones on.
Howard said that J.K. Simmons is coming in today and he's excited to meet him. He said he's in the movie Whiplash and he's the lead in that. He said he's really good in that. He said he liked him in Oz too. He said he was in Spider-Man too. He played J. Jonah Jameson. Howard said he was the editor of what paper. Robin asked if it was the Bugle. Howard said there was the Daily Trumpet too. Howard said that he thinks that it was the Daily Bugle in Spider-Man. Benjy said he's right about that. Howard said Peter Parker always had outrageous pictures of Spider-Man and Jameson never questioned it. Howard said he has to ask J.K. about that. Howard said no one else has those pictures. He said that J.K. always plays an idiot. He said he's a real fuck in Whiplash.
Howard said J.K. is hosting Saturday Night Live this week so that's why he's in town. Howard said he's a good actor so he has no question that he'll be good on SNL.
Howard said that he's ready to start working on America's Got Talent but he can't get a schedule out of them. Howard said Gary has to book guests for the show and they won't give them a schedule. Howard said he has a radio show to do. He said that he has this other job. He said he's going to tell them that he's only available one week. He said when he had just one job he was fine. Howard said they have to set up the venues to do the AGT thing. He said he has to figure out something. He said they're the ones who have to figure it out. Howard said he has told them that he can't put things on hold.
Gary said he was on the phon yesterday with Jason. He said that it's the bane of his existence right now. He said he emailed Howard's agent too. He said he's at the point where it's affecting vacations and guests. He said he has a few big guests that he could book in March and he has to know about when they're working. Howard said he wants to be a big shot and book it. Howard said he has to do the AGT thing too though. Howard said his first obligation is to Sirius. Howard said he has always told NBC that too. Robin said it's supposed to be a 30 day job. Howard said it is but 3000 days are on hold.
Howard said he has been waiting a long time to interview that person and he wants it to happen. Robin said maybe he can do double duty. Howard said he can't. He said that they need him for the whole day at AGT.
Robin said they had Adam Lambert sitting in for one of the judges on American Idol. Howard said they could do that for him too. He said they can have all of the guest judges they want for him, just pay him.
Gary said that he's spent a lot of time on this AGT thing. Howard said that they wanted him to go to L.A. for two weeks but he can't do that. Howard said he can be available for 10 days in a row if he flies out on a Wednesday. Howard said they needed 25 days in a row. Howard said he can't do that. He has to work.
Howard said they claim that it's his fault for waiting so long to tell them he wanted to join the show again. Howard said if they had told him it would affect that then he would have answered them earlier.
Howard said this was supposed to be his fun year at AGT. He said he's already complaining. Howard said he is supposed to roll with the punches. Robin asked if they haven't told them anything about March. Gary said he has the dates and now it's above Jason and it's between Don Buchwald and NBC. Gary said he was told by Jason that he has the dates. Howard said he's unavailable the second week in March if that guest is available. Howard said they want him on AGT because he's happening.
Gary said that people come to him every day and say they want to book vacations. Howard said he does too. He said he didn't know it was going to be so difficult. Gary said it was easy the past couple of years. Howard said the problem is that they can't live without him over there. Robin said they should have told him that they needed a decision earlier.
- Howard Takes Some Calls. 01/28/15. 7:10am
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who asked if he thinks that Trump is going to run for president this time. Howard said he will not. Howard said he's said that he's doing this for promotion of his TV show. He said he's done this in the past. He said he won't run for president. Tommy said he should have him on the show. Howard said he'll have Trump on the show any time he wants to come on. He said he had him on the show for years before anyone had him on. Howard said Trump shoots from the hip. Tommy said his fight with AJ Benza was great. Howard said it really was. He said he'd love to have a president who fought with AJ Benza.
Tommy said that Trump is pro-life and it seems like every republican is. Howard said that when Ronald Reagan was around they didn't embrace the religious right. He said they didn't want to get involved in people's personal lives. Howard said they wanted to run the infrastructure and stuff. Howard said that Reagan would be considered a democrat by today's standards.
Howard said the religious right is all about populating this planet. He said we have so many unwanted kids in the world but the republicans let their party be hijacked by nudnicks. Howard said that Governor Christie and even Jeb Bush can't come out and say that abortion is an issue. He said there are people who have kids and beat them because they didn't want them in the first place. Howard said it's a shame that they can't say anything about it. Howard said now the politicians are stuck with this stuff. Howard said that you can't get nominated in the republican party if you don't play by their rules. He said once you're nominated you can play it a little looser.
Howard said Sarah Palin is one of the people who hijacked the party. Howard said she was at a tea party event this week and you don't even know what she's talking about. Robin said they say that her teleprompter broke and she was speaking on her own. Howard played a clip of Palin rambling on about nothing.
Howard said she sounds retarded. He said everything is off with her. Howard said when she starts talking about Obama you love Obama. He said she talks about what a spoiled little boy he is. Howard played the audio of her talking about that. Howard said that she's the mom of the century. Tommy said if you aren't for abortions then just don't have one. Howard said that's right. Howard said he will never carry a baby and he never will. He said it's the woman's business if she wants to do that or not. Howard said the soul of a baby doesn't enter until the third trimester. Howard said that's just the way it is.
Howard thanked Tommy for the call and played him out with a theme song. Howard said Sarah Palin went to 5 colleges in 6 years. He said that Obama graduated from Harvard law school. Howard said that she thinks she's the smart one. He said she's a quitter too. Howard asked who she's kidding. Robin said she's one who hints that she's interested in running every 4 years. Robin said she's not running for anything anymore.
Howard took a call from Wheels who asked what the deal is with the Wrap Up Show. He said they don't have JD on anymore. Howard said they are turning it over to the listeners. Howard said Jon is giving more and more power to the listeners. Howard said eventually they will have many listeners involved with the show. Howard said it is for the fans to get on and talk. Wheels asked if he listens to it. Howard said occasionally he does. Wheels said that the calls are less. Howard said the calls are up 150 percent. Howard said he knows everything. Wheels said he has one critique. He said they go into the Wrap Up Show hearing the phone number 50 times. Howard said that if he has complaints he can talk to Jon Hein about it. Howard said he is just worried about this show. Howard played Wheels out with a song parody.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw pictures of Taylor Swift posted online from her hacked account, would he look if they were nudes. Howard said that he hasn't even looked at the Jennifer Lawrence pictures. He said it's an invasion of privacy. Howard said if he walked by a computer and saw Taylor Swift he might have to look. He said he's fascinated with her. The caller said she has an amazing body. He saw her in a bikini in some photos that were online. Howard said that she really does have a thin body. Howard said she's managed to keep that body too. Howard said that it's not easy. Robin said she dances a lot. Howard said that there are people who dance that are kind of chunky.
The caller asked Howard who he thinks out of Robin, Fred and Gary, who would do the best on Celebrity Apprentice. Howard said he's never watched the show. Robin said she's watching this season and it's really a challenge. Howard said he thinks Fred would be out because of his social skills. Robin said Gary can network. Howard said he doesn't think Robin would take it that seriously. Howard said Gary would win. Howard said Robin wouldn't take it seriously enough. Neither would Fred. Howard said Gary takes things very seriously. Gary said he's always wanted to go on that show. He said he thinks he would win. Howard said he doesn't think that he could do that show. He said he can't be yelled at by Trump. He said that just wouldn't happen. Robin said that it's his sons who are judging you. Howard said that's definitely not going to happen then. Howard said Gary takes things like Vinyl seriously. He said he would take that show very seriously.
Gary said the thing about doing that show is that you have to live in an apartment and take shit from the other people on the show. Howard said he thinks Gary would be good on the show. He said that he is a fame whore and he would do the show. Gary said he thinks he does a great job on this show and he could do a great job on that show. Howard said he thinks that he would get goofed on too much on that show. Robin said they'd get into his head on that show to fuck with him.
Howard said Gary is so hungry to be famous that he did a show on VH1 Classic. Howard said he would say he doesn't give a fuck about the show. Gary said Howard couldn't do the show because he's super famous. Howard said he just doesn't want that. He said he'd be asked to be voted off. Howard said he would only do things that he thinks are the right thing to do.
The caller asked Howard if he would do a celebrity match game series. Howard said he would love to host a game show. He said it might be beneath him at this point. The caller said he thinks it would be great. Howard said it would be good. He said he has been offered game shows. He said he had a meeting with the guys from Endemol and they pitched about 5 game show ideas to him. He said he was there with his agent and the game was him as a contestant. He said he had to make people laugh for them to move on. Howard said that he wants a great game that he just has to host. He said he wants to be a big nosed Wink Martindale or something. Robin said they have changed Who Wants to be a Millionaire. She said they have a guy who stands with you the whole game and he has to be animated and excited. Howard said he would have been a good host for that game. He said he's a good game show host. He said they've done many on the show.
Howard said on AGT in his first season people were saying they wanted to kill him. He said 3 years later people say they won't watch the show if he's not on it.
The caller had another suggestion for Howard and Howard said he's outlived his usability. Robin asked if Scott is in today. Howard said he had stuff to do yesterday. He said he's there today. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
- Sam Smith Discussions And Top 5 Songs. 01/28/15. 7:35am
After the break they played a prank call High Pitch Eric made to a personal trainer. They also played a bit they created using Maria Menounos laughs playing the part of Willy in Free Willy. They played a song parody with fake Perez Hilton singing ''Crazy'' about Benjy. Fred also played George Harrison ''My Sweet Lord'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and talked up the George Harrison song. Howard said that he was so bad at that. He hit the post with that song but said that he could do that at WNBC and Pig Virus would tell him he did something wrong. Howard said that guy died. He said that wasn't mentioned at any of the award shows. Howard said George Harrison is gone too. Howard said Pig Virus slumped over his chair at work and died. Howard said he was mean. Robin said he turned nice. Howard said that's when NBC told him that Howard was okay. He went with whatever they told him to. Howard said imagine being chosen to get them to quit. Howard said they were just doing their job. Howard said human nature never changes. He said they're just doing their job. Howard said that's what they're doing this morning.
Robin asked if Howard saw that Sam Smith responded to him. Howard said he hates that story. He said that they took that story and twisted it. He said that he thinks that Sam is more talented because he's fat an effeminate. Howard said even though he's fat and gay little girls still love him. Howard said he likes the guy and some reporter took a hold of what he said and they said he just called him fat and gay. Howard said he felt bad because that's not what he was saying. Howard asked who cares anyway. He said the fact that the press cares shows how hot and talented he is in show business. Howard said he is kind of complimented in some way.
Howard said he hopes that Sam gets a hold of what he really had to say. Robin said that he doesn't look that chubby. Robin said she knows what Howard is talking about in the publicity photos because he is kind of chubby. Howard said he's not cute like Taylor Swift is. Howard said he was kind of congratulating him in some strange way. He said it didn't come out like that. Howard said he hopes someone gets word to him... Howard said he really doesn't care. He said Sam doesn't care and he'll get over it. Howard said he's very thin, hot and manly.
Howard said calling someone gay when they're gay isn't an insult. He said the fact that he can get any traction being gay is what's impressive. Howard said he can't believe that this made more news than anything he's ever done. Howard said if you point out that anyone is fat then you get in trouble. Howard said it's worldwide news. He said it's bigger news than anything. Howard said he says shit to get in the news and it doesn't. He said he's upset that the kid doesn't know he's a fan. Howard said that when you take that and turn it into a headline that Howard Stern says Sam Smith is fat and gay... Robin said he said he was ugly too. Howard said he said he was ugly like him. Howard said they leave that part out. Howard said most of the world is ugly. He said that's why super models get paid so much. Robin said that Giselle Bundchen's daily rate is $128,000.
Howard said that he thought the press would pick up on him telling Bill Maher to blow Chris Kyle's corpse. Howard said no one picked that up. Howard said he thinks that Sam Smith is really talented and he likes his music. He said that he knows that won't get picked up in the news. Howard said good for him beating the odds. Robin said that he has another song called ''I Know I'm Not the Only One.'' Howard asked if Tom Petty wrote that too. Howard said he did him a favor getting this in the news because the whole Tom Petty thing wasn't such a big deal.
Howard said that he has the top 5 songs. He played number 5 which was Taylor Swift's ''Shake it Off.'' Howard said they had an idea for a bit with that song. They were going to send High Pitch Eric into a men's room stall and have him sing the song as he's peeing. Howard said he'd get his ass beat though. Howard said that number 4 was Hozier. Howard played a clip of Robin singing the song ''Take me to Church.'' Howard said Taylor Swift is at number 3. He had High Pitch Eric singing that song. Number 2 was Ed Sheeran and number 1 was Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars. Howard had Evil Dave singing that song.
Howard said he wants to go back to the High Pitch song. Robin said when he was singing it sounded like he was going to drown. Howard said the guys told him that the microphone stunk for 3 days after he used it. Howard asked if that's true. Sal came in and said that it smelled so bad that they thew the microphone cover away and the smell came through the new one. He said it sounds like he has food permanently lodged in his throat. Howard played the song again and Eric just about chokes as he's singing.
Sal said he feels bad for Eric. He said he sweats just sitting down because he's so big. He said he loves the guy though. He hopes he's okay. Robin asked if Eric can read the lyrics. Sal said he can do that. Howard said he seems to be smart enough to get food and an apartment. He said he has a helper who comes in and cleans his house two times a week. Howard said she actually called them yesterday. Howard played a bit they created with a woman and a High Pitch impersonator talking about the apartment cleaning. She asked to be saved before Eric eats her.
Howard said he heard that Sal was bummed that they busted him with the makeup bag. Fred played a ''Maybe it's Maybelline'' commercial jingle. Sal said he was kind of bummed. He said that he did have one other thing that they didn't see. It was a powder brush that he uses with the concealer. Howard laughed at that. Sal said he's being honest about that. Howard said they knew he had makeup. Howard said the embarrassing thing is that he ran all the way home to get it. Sal said he did but he also had to get clothes.
Sal said he has a son in high school and that's why he's so embarrassed by this now. Howard said that he does so many other weird things and that's what he's worried about? Howard said he should just say he's in show business and everyone wears makeup in show business. Howard kicked him out and played the ''Maybe it's Maybelline'' thing again.
Howard took a call from David Arquette who said that Sam Smith is an amazing talent. Howard said he wasn't bullying him. Howard said he wasn't that mean. David thought he did. Howard said he doesn't give a fuck. He told David to go have peace and love with some other human being. David said that he also thinks that he disrespected his talent. Howard said he didn't hear the show. David said he did hear it. David said he thinks it really hurts Jeff the Bore... Howard cut him off and told him to go back to bed and don't call in anymore. Howard said of course it hurts his feelings. He said life hurts your feelings. David said he always tries to protect his friends. Howard said he's hurting his feelings. David asked why. Howard said he's criticizing him. He said he really has to go. David said he wants to go back to Jeff the Drunk. He said Sam Smith is the next Elton John. Howard said he will get through life without worrying about him. Howard asked who cares already about Sam Smith. He said he wishes the guy the best. He said he's very talented and he just said he thinks he beat the odds. Robin said lets not think that looks don't help in pop music. Howard said the Jonas Brothers are cute and that's the key. He said you're 10 times more talented if you have good looks. Howard said that was his point.
Howard said that if he worries about hurting feelings during a 4 hour radio show he's not going to last. Howard said he talks for a long time and he says a lot of stuff. Howard said something about Benjy's looks and goofed on him to show what he does. Howard said that he knows he's ugly himself. He said that he even said that in the discussion about Sam Smith. Benjy said Sam isn't a bad looking guy. Howard said he doesn't care.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Louis C.K. thanked Howard in his new special that was just released. Howard said maybe he thanked him for being someone he looked up to in comedy. Howard said he really doesn't know why he did that. The caller asked if he has ever helped him with a bit or anything. Howard said he didn't. He said that he actually wrote his first two specials and he just asked for a thank you in the third one.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked what's up with David Arquette. She thought he sounded like Ass Napkin Ed. Howard said he's not sure, maybe it was Ed. Howard said David sent him a nice gift of a drawing of The Ramones. Howard said that he wants it back now. Howard said he's not nice. He said ''Duh, I'm not nice.'' Howard said that you can't be honest and be nice.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if he would ever have Sam on the show. Howard said he'd be thrilled to have him in. Howard said he is a talented guy. Howard said that his point is that he is so talented that he beat the odds. He isn't a typical teeny bopper idol. The caller asked if he would be good to fuck Benjy in the ass if Benjy doesn't lose the weight. Howard said he would be fine. Benjy said he's too fat for him. He said he's handsome and fat. Howard went to break after that.
- Howard Plays Some Bits And Audio Clips. 01/28/15. 8:15am
After the break Howard came right back and said that this guy Nick Kroll has a TV show. He said he has a character called Fabrice-Fabrice. Howard said they had Nick up there and had him call Big Foot and his girlfriend who has a cock. Howard said that Big Foot has no idea who Nick is or who Fabrice is. Howard said within seconds Nick has them doing stuff. He said you must be able to just call Big Foot and ask him to do anything.
Howard played the call that Nick did as Fabrice. Big Foot didn't know who it was so his girlfriend Danielle got on the line. ''Fabrice'' asked the two of them to tap their cocks on the phone and they both did it. Fabrice asked Danielle to put Big Foot's balls in her mouth and repeat a line. She did that a couple of times. Fabrice asked Big Foot to burp into Danielle's asshole and it sounded like he was doing that too.
Howard said that is a house of horrors. Howard wondered how Big Foot got a phone. Robin said apparently everyone has a phone, a TV and more. Howard asked Robin what percentage of women had penises when she was a nurse. Robin said maybe 1 percent. Robin said it happened a lot. Robin said one of the patients she took care of was beaten up because she had a cock. Howard asked if the injuries were really bad. Robin said it was pretty bad. Robin said that they suggested that she always have her wig with her because she didn't have real women's hair. Howard asked if she had a nice cock. Robin said she never saw it. She said she was able to wash it herself.
Howard asked if she ever had to wash a vagine. Robin said most of the patients did that on their own. Howard asked if she ever washed a cock that got hard. Robin said that did happen. Robin said she thinks that the guy that it happened with was uncircumcised. Robin said she had to do suicide watch with a transsexual. She said she had the one who was beaten too. Howard thanked Robin for the story.
Howard said they were talking about the movie Selma and how they'd like to see Martin Luther King as an action hero. Howard said they came up with Selma 2. He played a bit they created where MLK is an action hero. Howard asked how that is. Robin said that he was non violent. Howard said that's the problem. He said he has to kick some ass on the Russians.
Howard said he forgot to bring in his copy of Selma for Robin. He said he will get it to her though. Howard said he knows Robin will get all riled up. Robin said she'll just watch something funny right after. Howard said he can't watch those kind of movies. Howard said he didn't even watch Sophie's Choice. Howard said he can't see things like that. He said he can't handle it. Robin said Howard loves music that brings him down. Howard said nothing about him makes any sense.
Howard said he never saw Schindler's List but he'd see it if it was on Broadway. That led to him playing a bit they created where they had Schindler's List on Broadway. They had a few people singing the parts in the play version of the movie. Howard said he is looking forward to that. Howard said Mel Gibson says that's his favorite play. Howard said he has to get Sam Smith to star as Schindler.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw the picture of Kendall Jenner wearing a sheer shirt with no bra on. Howard said she's very young. Robin said she's 19. Howard said he has daughters and he wouldn't like that if they printed pictures like that. Howard said he doesn't understand the game plan for the Jenner family. He said he saw that picture and thought it was like kiddie porn. Howard said that Miley Cyrus still looks like she's 10 and he's seen pictures of her topless out there. Howard said it's getting weird for him. He said she has a nice body but she has a baby face. He said it's disturbing to see. Robin said she looks boyish at times. Howard said he'd approve of that with Robin. Robin said that Miley is 22 years old.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he ever put his stuff from the 90s on DVDs to sell. Howard said he never did. Howard said there's only so much stuff you can sell. He went to break after that.
- Kitten Bowl, Therapy And More. 01/28/15. 8:35am
After the break Howard came right back and took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn. Mariann said that Beth is going to be on Good Morning America this morning. She said she's going to be promoting the Kitten Bowl that she's doing on the Hallmark channel this weekend. Mariann said she loves being part of the Howard Stern Show. Howard hung up on her in the middle of her singing ''All I need...''
Howard said they do the kitten bowl around noon before the super bowl. Howard said he has that written down. Howard said he told Beth he would mention it so Mariann did him a favor. Howard said he didn't even know there was a Hallmark channel. He said it starts at noon on Sunday. He said Boomer Esiason is involved this time. Howard said Kevin Nealon, Regis Philbin, Maria Menounos, Mario Lopez and more will be involved with the Kitten Bowl.
Howard said they have 4 foster kittens at home. He said they'll be watching the Kitten Bowl with them. Robin said she had a dream about them. She said they were running around the kitchen. Howard said it's so cute to have them running around. He said he wishes he could show Robin what Beth is doing with them. Robin said she saw a picture of Yoda with the kittens last night so maybe that's why she had the dream. Howard said it's very rewarding to help these kittens. He said he's happy when he looks at the kittens. He said it's a good cure for his misery.
Howard said that his psychiatrist was working on him trying to get him to be more loving. Howard said he'd rather not say what that was about. He wondered if he will ever be done with therapy. Robin said it doesn't sound like he has an end point. Howard asked if people really change. Robin said she has. Howard said maybe he has. He said it's enough with the change already. Robin said he'd have to feel that on his own.
Robin said she's actually back in therapy because of her illness. Howard asked if it's some post traumatic stress. Robin said the dying part is easy. She said the living part is hard. She said she has body image issues and things like that. Howard said he does too and his shrink never argues with him.
Howard said Judd Apatow hosted the Late, Late Show last week and he was watching that. Howard said they actually asked him to do that. Howard said Judd was hosting and they were smart to get different people who have good friends. He said Judd had Adam Sandler and Lena Dunham on. He said he had Gary Shandling and Jeff Goldblum on one night. Howard said Gary Shandling is talking about going to Jeff Goldblum's wedding and their psychiatrist that they both use was officiating the wedding. Howard said that's crazy. Howard asked who these guys are that do that. Robin said they can't be getting much help if they're doing that. Robin said you don't want to see them in their lives. Howard said that whole thing was weird. Howard said he got jealous actually. He said he was wondering why his psychiatrist doesn't hang out with him.
Howard asked Robin how often she goes to therapy. Robin said she doesn't actually ''go.'' She said she calls. Howard said he can't do that. He said he thinks that people are listening in. Howard said if Robin can't keep it together then there's no hope for him. Robin said she has a lot of issues. She said she still has stuff from childhood that comes up. Howard said Robin had some childhood. Robin said she had no childhood. Howard said he hopes he comes up wonderful. Robin said that he does. Howard said that Robin came up in therapy and he said he told the psychiatrist that he was done with radio when she got sick. Howard said then Robin lived. Howard said it's weird. Howard said that he was really upset about Robin and it's a miracle that she lived. Howard said he was a mess.
Howard had some audio of some kids trying to pronounce Gary's name. They were saying his last name in some very unusual ways. It was Wolfie asking the kids about how to say it and where they think he might be from.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said Beth is really good with the animals. He said there are needles and lotions and stuff all over. He said she's like a Vet. Howard said Beth will do their nails and cut them and things like that. Ralph said he can't give a shot to a pet. He said Beth can do it. Howard said people have no idea what she's doing. He said she is actually doing the work. He said she's living it and doing it. Ralph said it's fun but she works so hard at it. Howard said she gets in bed and she's exhausted. Ralph said he thinks about getting a cat once in a while but he sees that and thinks he can't handle it. Howard said he doesn't think Ralph should get one but it's really not that much work. Howard said that's not for Ralph. He said he's best on his own.
Howard said Ralph is incapable of loving anyone. Ralph said he loves people. He said he loves his mom and sister. Howard said this is not a guy who loves women. He said some guys he meets are super in love with their moms and they don't love women. He said that he's not sure how to explain that.
Ralph said he loves women but if a chick annoys him then he gets upset. Howard said he just knows what he hears. Ralph said he loves Beth. Howard said that's because he doesn't need to have a deep, loving relationship. Howard asked Ralph when the last time was that he was in a real relationship. Ralph said it was a long time ago. Howard said Patty was his last girlfriend and that was in high school. Ralph said that's not true. He said he had Bianca. Howard said she was a stripper he was with for 2 weeks. Howard asked when he last had a real relationship where it was loving and caring. Ralph said he loved Bianca. Ralph said Tara was after that. Howard said she lived in L.A. Howard said she called him and said her car broke down. Ralph said she hit a car and he asked her what she wanted him to do about it. He was in New Jersey and she was in California.
Howard asked if Ralph has introduced any girls to his mom since Patty. Ralph said he hasn't. He said he doesn't like relationships. Howard said he has issues. He said he thinks Ralph is angry at his mother and he would rather not talk about why on the air. Howard said he will help Ralph off the air. Howard said Ralph needs therapy. Ralph said he does. Ralph said there is no reason to get into a relationship if you're not going to marry them. He said it always ends poorly. Robin asked why that is. Ralph said he doesn't know. He said they always turn on him. Howard said that Ralph doesn't like physical imperfections. Ralph said that's true. Howard said Ralph is out the door if they get a pimple on their ass. Ralph said that's true too. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go a short time later.
Howard had one of Ralph's former girlfriends on the phone. It was Denise who turned out to be a guy. Howard thanked Denise for the call and let Ralph go too. Howard said that J.K. is there. Ralph said he can't wait for that. Fred started to play Mike Morse's ''Ralphie Cakes'' song to play him off. Howard and Ralph talked a little bit more about J.K. before they went to break.
- J.K. Simmons Visits. 01/28/15. 9:00am
After the break they played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a Swap & Shop show using clips of Larry David clearing his throat. They also played a song parody about Howard's colonoscopy and a ''The Bachelor'' parody where Howard as the Elephant Man was The Bachelor. Fred played Pete Towhshend singing ''Behind Blue Eyes'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that J.K. Simmons is there. Howard said he's a great actor. He said he's nominated for an Oscar for Whiplash. Howard said it hasn't made a lot of money but it's a great film. J.K. came in and Robin said he already looks upset. J.K. said it's early. Howard said he beat the odds. He said he's happy for him because of that. Howard said he has paid his dues. Howard asked how long he has been hanging out in New York sleeping on people's floors. J.K. said he did that. Howard said he kept going and that's impressive. J.K. said it was a lack of options for him.
Howard said his father was a musician and he was raised to be a musician. He plays just about every instrument. J.K. said he can't play well. He said he does play some guitar. He said he can fake it pretty well. Howard said J.K. was going to be a music teacher but he had no money and everyone was getting on with their lives. Howard asked what the drive is. J.K. said it was just loving to do it. Howard asked if he ever doubted himself. J.K. said he did. He said he just knew he loved doing it. He didn't have a wife and kids to support at 28 years old so he was lucky there.
Howard said he was talking to an art teacher who said that he wasn't that good but he just kept up with it. Howard said that he did the same with radio. Howard said J.K. did that with acting. J.K. said all of his horrible work was on stage. Howard asked what his big break was. J.K. said he did Peter Pan and met his wife doing that. He said he married well too. Howard said usually you have to go through a couple of wives before you find that. J.K. said that she's 12 years his junior.
Howard said that J.K. is a great actor and he won a SAG award and the Golden Globe. Howard asked if he has to go play the game and prepare to give a speech. J.K. said he hasn't gotten any of that. He said he has never shaken hands with a publicist before this past fall. He said that he had no idea. He said he thought they were going to tell him what to say. J.K. said that mostly he found out that the publicists steer you clear of what you don't need to be doing. He said there hasn't been any of that ''don't say this or that.'' Robin asked if they coach him on the speeches. J.K. said they don't do that either. Howard said he's good at giving speeches. Howard asked if he writes down a speech. J.K. said he hasn't. He said maybe he should.
Howard asked J.K. if they announce his name at the Academy Awards, will he ad-lib. J.K. said that he's not sure. He said he had an idea of what he wanted to say at the other award shows. He said that he can wing it. He said it's not comfortable being up there in front of these people. Howard asked if he has watched all of the other films that are nominated. J.K. said he did just recently. Howard asked if he will sit there telling his wife he's so much better than those guys. J.K. said he won't do that. He said it's the whole apples and oranges thing. He said he can't look at it that way. He said each role and film is so different. Howard said if he doesn't win, who should get it instead. Robin asked who the second best is. J.K. said that there are none of those guys who don't deserve it. He said there are even more guys who do deserve it. He said Robert Duvall is his all time favorite. He said he hasn't shaken his hand in person yet. He said he has passed him going to the men's room and he still hasn't been able to do that.
Howard said it must be awkward to be up against these people. J.K. said that they've all done their work and they're not arm wrestling or anything. He said it's not a rumble. Howard asked if he's feeling any pressure to win. J.K. said now he is.
Howard asked J.K. if he thinks the level of parts are going to go up now. J.K. said that his wife calls it the Whiplash effect. He said he thought it would start happening after Sundance. He said that it didn't start until the movie was out commercially. He said that it came quickly after that. Robin said it's one of those films you can't take your eyes off of. Howard said the film has only made like $8 million. He said the movie is unavailable to be seen. J.K. said there is a whole algorithm that Sony uses to figure that out. He said that he's not sure what their whole strategy is. He said it's getting out there more now that the awards are happening. He said the movie has come and gone in some markets. He said it opened in October in New York and L.A. but it's been spreading ever since.
Howard asked J.K. if he thinks he is so good in the role because his father was a concert conductor. He said he must understand how to do it. J.K. said that's one of the things that was kismet or fate. He said it was the same with Miles Teller. He said that he had that in mind for him and they didn't know that he had been playing since he was 15 years old. J.K. said he feels that the fact that he could know how to read music and all of that really helped.
Howard said they made a short movie to show the executives and they said they didn't want J.K. in the part. J.K. said that it might have been shorter than 18 minutes. He said they shot it in 3 days for no money. J.K. said he fell in love with the script and the short is really awesome too. He said it stands on its own. He said that they did the movie a year later. Howard asked if it would have killed him if they gave the role to another person. J.K. said it would have. He said the kid who played the drummer in the short is a great actor and his heart goes out to him. He said he was great in the short.
J.K. said he doesn't know that much about show biz. He said that he was involved with the film and didn't know much about Miles. He said that once they got on the set together the sparks were flying. Howard said there's not much else to the film other than J.K. and Miles.
Howard said that J.K. is really the main character in the film and he's nominated for Best Supporting Role. J.K. said that Miles is in every scene in Whiplash. He said that's his film. Howard said that he thought J.K. was in every scene too.
Howard said the guy who executive produced the film is Jason Reitman. Howard said J.K. has been in every one of Jason's movies. Howard said that he almost blew it with Jason. He went in for an audition for ''Thank You For Smoking.'' Howard said he left the audition and by chance he ran into Jason as he was putting money in a meter. J.K. said that the audition was on the West side of L.A. and Jason was late. He said that he didn't know who he was or who his parents were. He didn't know the Reitman name. J.K. said that he had to pick up the kids or something that he had to get to. He said that he had a parking meter out front. He said that he was about to either leave or plug the meter. Then this young guy is walking up by and he knew his name. He said he called out J.K. Simmons. He apologized for being late and they went in and had a meeting and did the audition. Howard asked if he has to audition anymore. J.K. said that you do go meet and sit down and talk with the guy. He said if you're having lunch or something it's comfortable. He said sitting in an office is kind of odd. He said that he feels that he could just read a scene.
Howard said when he did Spider-Man he played J. Jonah Jameson. He said that must be tricky. He said he dove into it pretty good and watched how a real editor works. Howard said that he can't figure out why Jameson still hates Peter Parker when he brings him the great pictures of Spider-Man. J.K. said that he doesn't hate Peter, he hates Spider-Man.
Howard said that role he played in Oz was great. Howard said that was the break of his lifetime. Howard said he had been working on Broadway until then. Howard asked why it took so long and is he bitter about it. J.K. said not at all. He said that he started out in 1977 and he was from a musical background. He said he was singing in Brigadoon. He said that he remembers it very well. He said he had to go out and do his first line. He did it in a way that stopped the show. He said the director told him to just act like a human being.
Howard said that when he got Oz he finally got a role on TV and he killed it. He said he killed it to a point where he had trouble believing that he wasn't a real Neo-Nazi. Howard said when he wasn't fucking a guy he was busy saying racial things. Howard asked if he was afraid that he'd be typecast. J.K. said he was afraid of that. He said he had done some guest spots on other shows. He said that he was losing his mind doing plays 8 times a week. He said he anted to get TV and film going. J.K. said he had some lucky breaks and ended up on Oz. He said he almost talked his way out of that part. He said he had done Homicide and that got a lot of attention. He said it was a similar part. He said he played an ex-Nazi bastard who murdered some kids. He said he went in finally aware of how he'd get noticed on the street by people who recognized him. He said he was afraid he'd get stuck playing that kind of guy the rest of his life. J.K. said that he thought that he might not want to do the show. J.K. said that they didn't have scripts yet either.
Howard asked if the money in theater is shit. J.K. said compared to what he's in now it is. Howard said that he took Oz reluctantly. J.K. said he did. Robin said he committed to it once he did. J.K. said you have to. He said about the time Oz was airing they got a call from Law and Order playing a shrink. Howard said that's a good way to get away from that other part. Robin said he was so hard core in that show and they got no nominations. J.K. said that was the first drama on pay cable.
Howard asked if he got fan letters from Nazis. J.K. said that there were some. He said he'd get stopped on the street and his wife was afraid of him getting beat up by black guys on the train. J.K. said there are people who think that's the way he really is. He said they'd tell him that he was right on.
Howard asked if J.K. is nervous about doing Saturday Night Live. J.K. said he's very nervous. He said it's the coolest thing ever. J.K. said that he got out of L.A. on the last flight out before the storm of the century. J.K. said that he was in the car on the way home from the SAG awards and they asked him to come out early. He said that he got the first flight out in the morning. Howard asked if he met with the cast. J.K. said he went right from the airport to Lorne's office. Howard asked if he heard anything he liked. J.K. said he didn't hear anything. He said he was shot out of a cannon and he was tired from not enough sleep.
Howard said that they have to pitch ideas to Lorne and they have to come up with good stuff. J.K. said it's tough for the staff. He said he managed to stay awake and he was just nodding and laughing and smiling. He said he doesn't remember anything. Howard said he must be a good singer if he was on Broadway doing musicals and stuff. J.K. said he thinks so. He said that today they'll find out what they're doing. He said the writers have been up all night writing. He said they'll do like 50 sketches and go all the way through them and figure out what to use.
Howard asked J.K. if he'll pull Lorne aside and tell him not to make him do a sketch if he doesn't like it. J.K. said that it's always a collaboration. He said that they'll go through everything and he's sure if he's not comfortable doing something they won't make him do it.
Howard asked if they'd do a spoof of Whiplash. J.K. said they already taped some yesterday. Howard asked if he works nude. J.K. said that he did in Oz. He said everyone got thrown into the hole on Oz. Howard said that was a silly question. J.K. said that he was out of shape the first season of Oz and he had to do the nude scene. He said he was a dough boy. He said he got his butt back into the gym between the first and second season.
Howard asked J.K. about living on the floor of his friend's apartment. J.K. said he didn't have anything at the time. He said he had spent the last 6 bucks on a slice and a beer. He said another buddy came over and they were hanging out. He said he may have been whining about his life. He said that he was going to go back to Montana and do something. He said his friend wasn't rich either. He said he's a Broadway actor now. He said they met in the city there. He said his name is Greg Edelman. He said he left that night and he noticed the next morning that there was 40 bucks tucked under the phone. Howard asked if he cried. J.K. said he's no pussy so he doesn't think he cried. Howard said that must have been a low point. Howard said the struggle defines you as a man. J.K. said that he did a play called Birds of Paradise on Broadway and that's sort of the theme of the play.
Howard asked if his father ever wanted him to stop with the acting. J.K. said that his parents were 100 percent supportive. Howard asked if he has thought of the Oscar speech at all. J.K. said he can't say it hasn't crossed his mind. Howard said he thinks that everyone is rooting for him. He said it's a great performance. J.K. thanked him for that. Howard asked if he has watched it a lot. J.K. said that it might be one of the only films that he's watched with himself in it. He said he has watched it from beginning to end a few times and had different reactions to it each time. He said they did one screening where they did a Q and A. He was about to tell that story but Howard asked him how it is seeing it with an audience. J.K. said that the first time they did that was in Cannes. He said that the reaction to it was just amazing. He said he knew the film was going to be good as soon as he read the script.
Howard said he must have thought that it was going to be a smash hit. J.K. said he didn't think about the commercial success. He just knew it was going to be good.
Howard asked if he just wants them to get the movie out as soon as they can. J.K. said that he does. He said he spent some time in the editing room with Damien and he was giving some suggestions of his own that were ignored. Howard said that no actor should be in the editing room. J.K. said that only Sam Raimi, Damien and his wife will let him in the editing room.
Howard asked if J.K. will go berserk if he wins. J.K. said he thinks he can handle it. Howard said this is very exciting. Howard said he can't wait to see him on Saturday Night Live. Howard asked who the musical guest is. J.K. said it's D'Angelo. Howard asked when he goes to rehearsals. J.K. said right after this he will be there. He said that Saturday will be a 14 hour day.
Howard asked if he is worried about his voice and all of that. J.K. said he is. He said he's been traveling a lot and he has a little bit of the creeping crud coming up. He said he will worry about his voice.
Howard asked if he would do another play. J.K. said he would. Howard asked how he feels about the new Terminator movie. J.K. said at first he thought it was just going to be another paycheck. He said the script is really smart and funny and it has heart. He said he thinks this does a good job of being true to the spirit of the old movie. He said Arnold is in it too. He did some scenes with Arnold. He said he's not sure if he can even say that.
Howard asked if J.K. has gotten a lot of women approaching him now. J.K. said he had to go there, didn't he. He asked Howard who would throw themselves at him. He said that he's still happy that his wife is willing.
Howard said that J.K. had to change his name to J.K. because his real name is Jonathan Kimbel Simmons. He said he went by every variation of that. He said when he joined Equity he had to be Jonathan Simmons but SAG had one already. Howard asked if they know what to call him when they see his name. J.K. said that he went to a play and that was asked that day. He said they wondered if they should call him J.K. or what. Howard said that must be tough to get used to. He said that's sort of grand to be a J.K. Howard said he knew a guy who was named J.F. Lawton. He said he's not sure what to call him. Howard asked if he should call J.K. ''J.K.'' J.K. said that's fine. He said he won't even say what his wife calls him. Howard said she probably calls him Mr. Big Penis.
Howard asked when J.K. lost his hair. J.K. said when he was young he had Greg Allman hair. Howard said that it changes your whole life. J.K. said that you're in the shower and a lot of hair just starts falling out. Howard asked if he ever did the wig thing. J.K. said he has for films and stuff. He said he did a musical called Cowboy and the writer was an old school guy. He said it was a leading part. He said the director said he thinks he has a future as a leading man but he needs to ''take care of that.'' J.K. said not long after that he got his first piece. It was a theatrical piece though. He said he knew he wasn't going to wear it. Howard said that's such a bitch to lose your hair. Howard asked how often he shaves his head. J.K. said he had it grown out until about a week or 10 days ago. He said he's shooting a film now and he had it grown out.
Howard asked what he's doing about the commercials he's doing. Robin said he's doing the Farmer's Insurance commercials. Howard said now he's an Academy Award nominee. He said he thinks he'll win that. Howard asked if he can go in an renegotiate that deal. He said it must be confusing right now. Howard asked what his plan is. Howard asked if he gets free M&Ms for doing the commercials for them. He said he's never asked but he probably could. J.K. said that he was desperate to get commercials in the past. He said that the Farmer's thing came about a few years ago and it's great money. He said he's not sure if it will hurt his career. He said people told him to do it so he thinks he'll keep doing it. He said he's with them a year at a time. Howard said he would do it again then. J.K. sad that he would. He said he's been the Yellow M&M for more than 15 years now. J.K. said that came about in an interesting way. He said he had done a couple of TV shows and he went into an audition and the character description was for two M&M's. He said he was asked to read for Yellow but he thought he'd be better as Red. He said that they went back and forth on that and then he just went with what they thought.
Howard said he would have though that he'd get a ton of voice overs with his voice. J.K. said he has had a few of those jobs. He said they're the best too because you don't even have to shave to do them.
Howard asked if he can memorize scripts. J.K. said you can remember good writing very easily. He said the bad writing is the tough part. J.K. said the SNL thing is going to be a challenge. He said he's going to have to look at cue cards. Howard asked if he has ever done a live TV show before. J.K. said no. Howard said he should be shitting his pants then.
Howard said it's been a struggle for J.K. He said they learned that J.K. Simmons stuck with it. He said you have to stick with it. He said some people stick with it and stay horrible. Howard said J.K. got better. Howard asked if he's ever had any role that he's turned down that he regrets. J.K. said he can't think of one. He said he almost got the role as the captain in 21 and 22 Jump Street. He said his schedule didn't work out for that and Nick Offferman got the part.
Howard said that Whiplash is so good. Howard said that you have to go see it. J.K. said it really is a great piece of work. Howard said he thinks that the name might be a problem. J.K. said that he thinks that it works on all levels. Howard asked if he would do any Jason Reitman film he asks him to do. J.K. said of course he would. Howard said even if he doesn't win the Oscar he's on a roll. Howard said they have to raise his rate. J.K. said that he's doing fine. Howard said that he deserves that Oscar. He said he knows he has to get going.
Howard asked J.K. about the movie Birdman. Howard said he hates it. J.K. said that they're comparing apples and oranges again. He said that it was a very challenging thing to do and he had some issues with some aspects of the film but he thinks the acting in the film was all great. Howard said that Michael Keaton and Edward Norton are great actors but the film is a failure. J.K. said that he disagrees about that. He said that he thinks it's a great piece of film making. Howard said he can come back after he wins the Oscar and speak truthfully about it. Howard said he can read between the lines. Howard wrapped up with J.K. and let him ago a short time later.
- Howard Enjoys Some Music. 01/28/15. 10:00am
After the break they played a Jack and Rod Radio Show bit where Sal and Richard interviewed an author about organized religion with clips of Pastor Manning yelling at him. Fred also played Bob Dylan & The Band's ''The Shape I'm In'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said he's not in the mood for that song. Howard said it's a great song though. He said he's just not in the mood for it. Howard said he doesn't know what to tell you. Robin asked what he is in the mod for. Howard said he's in the mood for Buzzy Linhart or Leslie West. Howard said he was listening to Leslie the other day and he can really wail on the guitar. Howard said he has every live Mountain performance. He said in one thing Leslie screams at a guy over something that's gone wrong. Howard said it wasn't Crossroads. He said it was a Mountain song. Howard said he doesn't want to hear that though.
Howard said he wants to hear Buzzy Linhart. Howard said people will be into that. Howard was singing something that Robin didn't recognize. Howard said Robin will have a good time listening to this. Fred played Buzzy Linhart's ''The Love's Still Growing.'' Robin said she missed this guy somehow. Howard said everyone did. Howard said he was a very cool teenager. Howard said he went to camp with his name written in his underwear. Howard said Robin doesn't like the song. Robin said it's okay. Howard said he should have been a big star. Howard said that all of these designers put their names on their underwear so there's no room for his name. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who said that Jada Pinkett Smith is following him on Twitter now. Howard said that she looks good on Gotham. He said if he were Will Smith he'd still be into her. Howard said she plays Fish Mooney on Gotham. Howard said the dude who plays Penguin on Gotham is really good. Howard said that they should stop with the behind the scenes stuff with him though. He said it takes him out of the TV show. Robin said she thinks that's what they're going to be doing with commercials. Howard said that he wants that car that can park itself.
Speech said that he enjoyed that interview with J.K. He said he's really funny. Howard and Fred goofed on Speech for a short time. Howard said they better be careful or they'll upset David Arquette. Howard let Speech go and played him out with a second of a theme song.
Howard took a call from Balls who said that the interview with J.K. was really good. Howard thanked him for that and said he didn't have time for any other questions. Howard said he could break Speech Impediment Man's heart by telling him that it's a Jada Pinkett Smith fan page that's following him, not the real Jada.
- Robin's News. 01/28/15. 10:15am
Howard said it's time for Robin's news. They played her in with a song parody. Fred said that was Eli Braden with the song parody.
Robin started the news with a story about a man who died who helped invent the laser. Robin said that some people say that he's one of the most talented experimental physicists of the century. Robin said he was 99 years old.
Howard said he had a clip from The SAG awards when they accidentally played an applause track when Reese Witherspoon was giving the award to J.K. Simmons. Howard played the clip and they accidentally played the clip and Reese was startled by it.
Howard said he wants to talk about this Marshawn Lynch guy. Howard said part of his job is to answer questions. He said he thought that maybe he is doing this not answering questions thing to get noticed. He said he thought he might be a genius. Howard played some audio of Marshawn telling people that he's just there so he won't get fined by the NFL. Howard said he would fuck with the guy all day long. He said he thinks he could teach him not to say that he's only there so he won't get fined. Howard said on one hand he loves it but on another he doesn't.
Howard said he wanted to point out that yesterday someone called in asking why no woman has written a love song about Robin. Howard said how he has a song called ''Share My Dildo'' about Robin. Howard played that for Robin.
Robin said a Spanish transsexual is claiming that he met with the Pope in private. Robin said that he told the Pope how he was being treated at church and he asked for the meeting. Robin said the Vatican has neither confirmed or denied it.
Howard said JD and Sal sent him a clip from a porno where this girl pukes on another girl. He said it sounds gross but you really have to see it. Howard said that she really did puke and he knows why. He said the girl she was working on was really fat and using a vibrator at the same time. Howard said that he had a tape of Beetlejuice going down on the same girl. They took his puking clip and played that with the chick who got puked on.
Robin read about how researchers have found out how to unboil an egg. Robin said they took Urea and put it into the egg and it unknots the proteins and turns it back into a liquid. Howard wondered how that helps. Robin said they will find out soon.
Robin read a story about Heather Mills saying that it hasn't been easy getting back into her life after she and Paul McCartney split. Howard said she's acting like she had nothing to do with it.
Robin said Slash has just moved in with his new girlfriend. Howard said he's a rock star so of course. Robin said that he's moved into a 5 bedroom house with this woman and her two kids. Robin said that they're supposed to get matching tattoos as well.
Robin read a story about people taking medications like Benadryl and Nitol are at an increased risk of getting Alzheimer's disease. Robin said that's what a study has found. Robin read the details of that story.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they were talking about toilet paper yesterday. He said he is a folder. Howard said you just take a wad of it and shove it up your ass. the caller said he gets 5 or 6 squares, wipes, folds it and wipes again. Howard said he's doing some weird shit with that. He told him to keep that to himself. Howard said the guy claims he folds after he wipes. Howard said he's a strange man. Howard goofed on the caller for a short time. Howard asked what the guy is talking about. He said he's a weirdo. Robin asked why he would call in with that. Howard said Sal was running around saying he folds too. Howard said he doesn't want to hear about that.
Sal came in and said that he folds it and presses it against his sphincter and keeps doing that. Howard asked how you don't get shit on your hands. Sal said you don't. He said he can demonstrate it. Sal told Gary to bring in some toilet paper. While they waited Howard played that vagina puke clip with Riley Martin clips in it.
Sal took off his pants and demonstrated the paper folding technique. Sal said he takes about 5 sheets, folds them, then wipes his ass. He said then you pull it off and fold it again. He said then you pat again on the sphincter. He said then you fold it again. Gary said he's touched it over and over again. Gary said that he touched the doody spot. Howard told them to bring in chocolate syrup next week and demonstrate it again. Sal said he'll do that. Howard said his thumbs are full of shit if he does that. He said that's gross. Howard told Sal to get out of there and then did a live commercial read.
Robin said that they've been trying to do a Ghostbusters sequel for a long time. Robin said now they are going to reboot it with an all female cast. Howard asked if it will be the same script. Robin said she doesn't think so. Howard said he first Ghostbusters was one of the best comedies ever. Howard said you can't imagine going to see that in any other form than it was. Howard said he thinks it's wise that if you do it again you do it completely different. Howard said that seems logical to him. Howard said if you said he could invest in that he would pass. Robin said it's Melissa McCarthy, Kristin Wiig, Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon. Howard said that might work. He said they are funny. Robin said that Ernie Hudson was critical of the idea.
Howard played a tip from Big Foot about toilet paper. He suggested that if you run out you can use phone book paper.
Robin said that Apple has soared to $18 billion for the last quarter of the year. Robin said that's a new record. Howard said that he sees that their stock goes way up when that happens but when Sirius announces something like that the stock stays the same. He said he doesn't understand that. Howard said 27 million people just heard Sal wipe his ass. How could that not make the stock go up.
Robin read about how upset people were about the shutdown of the city yesterday. Howard said the roads were cleared very quickly and he has to say that he was impressed. Robin said they did kind of go overboard with shutting everything down. Robin said if the weather forecasters were right they'd be in every right to shut it all down. Howard said one of the problems was getting everything back up and running. Howard said that some of those calls were made by the governor. Howard said that it wasn't all the mayor. Howard said that they could have lifted the ban earlier than they did. Robin said the weather forecasters being so off is another story all together. Howard said they should have a dome over the city. He said that they could open it up when they have nice weather. Robin said that would have to be a really big dome. Robin said we've lived with the weather all this time so lets not turn into complete wimps.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the Sirius stock was only like 50 cents when he signed on. Now it's close to 4 bucks. Howard said that's true. He said he didn't think about that.
Robin had some news about the Super Bowl. She had some audio of some of the players commenting on the upcoming game.
Robin read a story about how much it costs to have a Super Bowl party. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. The guy said that people will spend around $200 on a party. Howard said that's not much of a party. Robin said she can't imagine what people are eating at that party. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how the best time to buy a flat screen TV is right before the Super Bowl. Robin said prices have gone way down. She had some audio of someone talking about that.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that the storm was a coastal storm and they're almost impossible to predict. He said they say it's going to be a historic storm and that's what they think is going to happen. Howard said he heard the governor hired his own meteorologist to tell him the weather. Ralph said shut everything down and it was ridiculous that they did that. He said the forecasters could just say it could be 6 inches or it could be 12. Robin said they'd still have to shut things down. Ralph said he's all for the dome idea too. Howard said it's all simple and he could get that done. Robin asked what it would be made of. Howard said it would be made of what your garage is made of. Robin said that they'd be in the dark the whole time it was closed. Howard said that's fine.
Robin said there are a lot of Super Bowl commercials coming out before they air on TV. Howard said he saw the Kim Kardashian commercial. He said he doesn't get showing them ahead of time. Robin had some audio of Kim's new commercial. Howard didn't understand the commercial. Robin said it was for T Mobile rolling over data in their plans. Robin had some audio of Lindsay Lohan's commercial too. Robin said there's a BMW ad with Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel teamed up again as well. Robin said that the 30 second commercials are going for $4.5 million. Howard said he knows he'll have the Kitten Bowl on in his house. He said over 6 million people watched it last year. Robin said she loves that cats are getting this much love.
Robin read a story about what's going on with the president and Benjamin Netanyahu. Robin said that everyone should get their panties out of a bunch. She said there is nothing wrong with what's going on there.
Robin read a story about a congressman who is upset about the President releasing terrorists. Robin said they released one from a U.S. prison and that's only helping terrorism.
Robin read a story about the deaths of a family being a murder suicide. Robin said they were found last September. Robin said they suspect that mental illness may have had something to do with that. Robin said they may have thought the apocalypse was coming so they took the whole family out. Robin said they think the young children didn't know what was going on but the 14 year old may have known what was going on. The police said that was the only letter that showed that someone may have known what was going on.
Robin read a story about a couple of football players who were found guilty of rape yesterday. Robin said they were college kids who went out drinking and one girl got really drunk and they were seen carrying her down the hall. Robin said they took pictures of her and then apparently had sex with her. When she woke up they told her they had taken care of her. Now they're awaiting sentencing.
Robin read about more people throwing their hats in the ring for the run for President in 2016. Robin had some audio of someone talking about why he wants to run. Robin said Sarah Palin is hinting that she might run as well. Robin had audio of her talking about that. Howard said she might be crazy enough to go for his dome idea. Howard asked what that speech pattern is that she has. He said the words come out weird. He said they appear to run too fast.
Robin read a story about Lance Armstrong who was interviewed by the BBC and said that he would cheat again if given the chance. Robin said she has to applaud him for knowing himself. Robin had some audio of Armstrong talking about the bad decisions they made.
Robin read a story about Michelle Obama not wearing a head scarf while President Obama is in Saudi Arabia. Robin said she applauds that. Howard said a good move would be to wear assless chaps.
Robin read a story about Sly Stone getting a $5 million judgment in a case against his manager. Robin said he didn't get payments from 1989 to 2009. Robin said it's good to know he's going to get paid.
Robin said that NASA has a day of remembrance today. Robin had some audio of President Reagan talking about the destruction of the Challenger spaceship in 1986. Robin read some more details of that and then ended her news. Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
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