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-- Thursday, May 23, 2019 --

  • Thursday Replay Show. 05/23/19. 7:00am
    Here's what they played on today's replay show:

  • Book Promotion & Calls. 05/23/19. 7:00am
    First on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about his book promotion and took some calls. Here's my rundown:

    Howard's Exhausting Book Promotion Ending Soon. 05/21/19. 8:25am
    After the break they played Ed Sheeran's ''Thinking Out Loud'' as they were coming back. Howard came back and said his book tour continues today. He said Beth had to talk him down yesterday. He said about 4 in the afternoon he was staring at his fat belly wondering how he can do Colbert after doing a full day of radio. He said he's doing that today. Howard said Beth told him it would be fine and it's just one day. He said she said he'd be fine and power through it. He said he has to go on national TV so it's hard to power through that. He said they don't tape until 5:30. He said he has stuff going on all day. He said he's going to be all talked out today.

    Howard said he sat down with a team of people and asked them not to book him on a Tuesday or Wednesday. He said Thursday or Friday would be fine. He said somehow he's working on a Tuesday. He said he will be there and he may fall asleep on Stephen's couch. Robin said he should come out in his pajamas and blankie. Howard said he likes to eat at 4:30 but now he has to wait until 6:30 or later. He said he doesn't have the time. He said he's so into his routine. He said he has to go to bed at 8. He said this whole thing is going to fuck him up.

    Howard said he has two more appearances and he's ending the book promotion. He said he's doing Anderson Cooper on Thursday but they're doing it in there.

    Howard said he wants to do well for Colbert but he wishes he'd be more awake. He said people think it's fun being Howard Stern. He said it's not fun. He said he's not a fun guy. He said he's not even sure what fun is. Robin said he had fun at that party he went to. Howard asked what party. Robin said the Jerry Seinfeld party. Howard said that might be the closest he's come. He said it was enjoyable. He said he wasn't miserable until the waiter poured water all over his lap. He said his fun is avoiding fun. He said that's his kind of fun. He said he likes locking himself in a room and painting. He said going somewhere is not fun for him.

    Howard said he has a list of things he's doing. He ran down the list of things he's done to promote the book. He said Rolling Stone should be out soon. He said he has the Conan O'Brien podcast out now. He said he's doing Colbert tonight and he's taping Anderson Cooper on Thursday and that will air on Friday night as a special. Howard said this has to be enough book promotion.

    Howard said last night he read his own book. He said he loves it. He said he thinks the interviews were really good. He said he's like Steven Seagal who said he just read the best script. Someone asked him who wrote it and he said ''I did.'' He said he feels the same about his book.

    Howard said this book is really a good summer read. Howard said some guy was reviewing the book and the guy was carrying on about it. He said his editor, Sean, sent it to him. He said it was from Tablet Magazine. Howard read some of the review and it was glowing. Howard said he told her this book is something. Robin said she has to go read this again.

    Howard said it made him happy. He said now his work is done. He said once you get a review like that, it's done. Robin said when you can't understand the review then you know it's great.

    Howard Takes Calls. 05/21/19. 8:35am
    Howard said today they have to play some audio of Gary's first pitch. He said he has to talk about the Party brothers. He said he has to talk about DJ Khaled too.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he knows Brent is lying. Howard said Brent isn't lying. He said this is ridiculous. The caller asked if he saw the Christie Brinkley Instagram picture. Howard said he did. The caller said he wants to fuck a 65 year old and he wondered when she's going to stop being hot. Howard said she's working at it. He said she has good genetics. Robin said she worked out hard in her life and nothing like that happened to her. Howard said he used to run 6-8 miles a day and lift weights and the best shape he was ever in was when he took the ice bucket challenge. He said he looked pretty good but not like he was running and lifting weights.

    Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he wants to say something about Brent but he also wants to talk about DJ Khaled. King said he thinks Brent isn't lying but he asked how he marries someone like that. He said it's crazy. He said he would never marry a woman like that who wants to fuck other guys. Howard said maybe she's more truthful than other women. He said maybe other women want to but they don't talk about it.

    Howard said he doesn't want that but he thinks it's fine if it works for Brent. Howard let King go and went to break.


  • Adam Carolla. 05/23/19. 7:20am
    Next on today's replay show they played the Adam Carolla interview from this week. Here's my rundown:

    Adam Carolla Visits. 05/20/19. 9:00am
    After the break they played Van Halen's ''Ice Cream Man'' and a phony phone call that the guys made to a woman using clips of Gary talking about his vinyl records. They played a ''Hey Du'' song parody about Ronnie the Limo Driver. They also played a Mariann from Brooklyn ''Sexy Story'' bit and Foo Fighters performing ''Learn to Fly'' in the Howard Stern Show studio as they were coming back.

    Howard came back and said he has Adam Carolla there. He said Adam's stand up special is not on Netflix like he thought. He asked how he didn't end up on Netflix. Adam said he doesn't know what's going on. He said he releases everything himself. He said he did ask but they said no. He said he went full independent. Howard said he knows his podcast is done in front of a live audience. He said this is the firs time he ever did stand up. Adam said he's been doing stand up off and on for years but he never crafted an hour special. Howard asked if it was hard because he's famous. Adam said he had been doing stand up before. He said he was doing that before he met Jimmy and all of that. Howard said he thought he was a carpenter or a plumber or something. Adam said he did do that too. He said he wasn't very good at stand up so he was taking improv classes and he was a carpenter and all of that and then he met Jimmy and did all of that. He said then it all went away in 08 and 09. He said he had no job.

    Howard asked if he freaked out that he had no job. Adam said he did. H said radio turned upside down after Howard left. He said everyone did their own thing. He said the economy dropped and everything went away so he had to do something. He said all he had was a name and no act. He said he started booking himself doing clubs and theaters. He said he started traveling the country.

    Howard said he always assumed Jimmy was his partner but he did the late night thing by himself. He said he wondered where that left him. Adam said it left him in Dekalb, Illinois. He said he played a place that had a Jack in the Box on the roof. Howard said it has to be hard doing that after doing what he had done.

    Adam said he had a lot of success already so he had his feet under him. He said he just had to start putting an act together. He said next thing you know he was playing theaters. He said he thought he should do a stand up special eventually so here we are today.

    Howard said Adam has this podcasting thing going and now he has a contract to keep him going until 2023. He said he has 1.6 billion downloads or something. Adam said they don't make it up but they cook it. He said that's four guys who have listened to it on a loop for 9 years. Howard said you might as well say 7 billion downloads. Adam said he gets paid and it all worked out.

    Howard said it's interesting because Jimmy was in the other day. He said he mentioned Crank Yankers so is he working on it too. Adam said he is. He said Jimmy likes to do it over the phone. Howard said Crank Yankers is phony phone calls with puppets to it. He said that way you have something to watch. Adam said when they first did it they had to come up with calls and do it hands on. He said now they have help. He said both of them are busy now. Howard said it used to be a team effort but now they have more people helping. Adam said Jimmy is big and busy and he's medium and busy. He said they have to have some help. He said Chef Boyardee didn't make every ravioli himself. He said he was overseeing the kitchen. He said that's what they're doing.

    Howard asked why they canceled Crank Yankers. Adam said he really doesn't know. He said that he talked to Jimmy about doing it again but he didn't know how it came about. Howard said he liked Crank Yankers because they had people like Kevin Nealon making calls and he was really funny. Howard asked when it's going to be on air again. Adam said early next year probably. He said they're just in pre-production now. He said he'll be in it too. He said he does Mr. Bircham. He said he was a Viet Nam veteran who yells at people. He said the thing he learned from doing phony phone calls is that you can say super crazy things and people will laugh at you. He said then you get serious and they get serious too. He said he did one that they never cleared. He said he called a moving company and said his wife was really big and he needed to have her moved. He said that the transportation to the hospital was not moved so he called the moving company. He said that Mr. Bircham called asking them to do the move instead of the ambulance. Adam said this guy was laughing at him and you could hear him telling the guys in the room. He said at a point he gets real indignant and he calls him out on that. He said that he said he'd appreciate it if he treated it seriously. He said the guy had a 3 year old daughter who breaths through a trache. He said the guy ended up yelling at him when he joked that she was a smoker and she brought it on herself.

    Howard sad that has to be the hardest part when you ask for clearance to play that. Adam said that you need some kind of gift card to give them to get them to approve. Howard asked if you can let go of something like that. Adam said they try to let them cool down. Howard said phony phone calls are the best. Adam said they really are.

    Adam said he was driving past a fire hydrant the other day and pictured kids playing outside in the summer by one. He said for young white guys phony phone calls were like that for them as kids. He said his kid will never know that. He said he's busy playing Fortnite right now. Adam said this was one of the first things he and Jimmy talked about doing when they met. He said Jimmy would do claymation and stuff for calls. He said they wanted to illustrate phony phone calls. Howard said he's glad they're bringing that back. He said that will be on Comedy Central.

    Howard said he would tell his kids about doing phony phone calls. He said his kids had made a call one day and he wondered what he had done by telling them what he does at work. He said that he had to lecture them not to make calls like that. He said he came across as a hypocrite.

    Howard said Jimmy was on talking about his comedy club and how it looks like his house. Howard asked if Adam has played there. Adam said he did and it was good. He said he went in and played opening night. He said after the show he went downstairs. He said down there they have this area that looks like Jimmy's bar in his house. He said he has Crank Yankers puppets out there and he immediately called his attorneys about that. He said it was great for anyone who has spent time at Jimmy's house because it's a Doppelganger of his bar. Howard said even Jimmy didn't know that they were going to do it just like his house. Adam said his bar is beautiful so why reinvent the wheel. Howard said they saw it once and recreated it.

    Howard asked if he is closer to Jimmy than he could ever be. He said he and Jimmy were planning a trip to Italy. Adam said he has been there with him and it's overrated. Howard said he canceled the trip. Adam said it's no good traveling with Jimmy. He said he's super sweet and super everything but then what happens is that his wife got sick and Jimmy was the one running to the store for her. He said when they got home his wife said that she was good on the trip because of Jimmy. Adam said he was the douche.

    Howard asked Adam if he thinks that he'll always be friends with Jimmy because they've done so much together. He said that he describes in his new book that he got a nice pillow from Jimmy. Adam said he got one of those travel neck donuts from Jimmy. Howard asked if he gets jealous of his friendship. Adam said Jimmy is living his dream. He said that he didn't want to be his friend. He said he was just his boxing coach. He said what Jimmy wanted was to be gay for Howard and Huey Lewis. He said he loved Letterman too. He said his goal was to hang out with Howard Stern, Huey Lewis and David Letterman. He said Jimmy wanted to hang out with a bunch of old dudes. Adam said everyone else wants to bang 19 year olds and not putz around with 56 year olds.

    Howard said Adam is right about that. He wanted to hang out with his idols from when he was a little boy. Howard said when Jimmy got single he thought he was going to go out and be a whore master. He said he didn't do that though. Adam said Jimmy met Huey Lewis and didn't meet the rest of the band. He said they go out fishing now. He said it's really not that hip to be square. He said it's hipper to get laid.

    Howard said he's not sure that Huey Lewis is that cool. He said that he likes Huey but that says a lot about a person. Adam said that it's probably not a great indictor about music acumen. He said that in terms of loyalty it's good. He said he fly fishes with the guy. He said he's been to Huey Lewis concerts with Jimmy. He said that was before Huey was even Huey. He said that they didn't go back stage or anything. Howard said he doesn't know anyone who is that into Huey Lewis. Adam said Jimmy likes what he likes. He said he's insanely loyal.

    Howard asked if he has ever been on a trip with Jimmy and Huey. Adam said Huey is the greatest guy in the world. He said he has hung out with him at Jimmy's house. He said he has some hearing issues but he you don't need to hear to smoke weed and fish.

    Adam said Jimmy loved Howard and it took him a while to get to Howard. He said they bought his book Private Parts when it came out. He said they went to the book store together in 1993 or 94. Howard asked if it's weird that they're not that close now. He said he put up with all of that stuff for years. He said he was there from the beginning. Adam said he's not sure how his wiring is. He said he loves Jimmy and he has a great bond with him. He said it's been 25 years and he loves him as much as he ever has. He said he loves somewhere else and he has kids and 1000 jobs. He said he's traveling all the time. He said they get together as much as they can. Howard said they're guys so they don't have to get together that much. Adam said he admires him from afar. He said it's weird to hear him on Howard Stern because he catches up with him there. Howard said that's weird that you can catch up with him that way.

    Howard said Adam was upset about the Rock and Roll hall of Fame and Janet Jackson getting in and not performing. Howard said he agrees with him there. Adam said if you get in and don't perform you don't get in. He said if you listen to her music it's horrible, dated junk. He said it's like a Spuds Mackenzie commercial from the 80s. He said you should have to perform. He said she didn't and he suspects she couldn't perform. He said she'd have to have a big thing set up. Howard said he saw Paula Abdul doing a show somewhere and he didn't think she was singing at all. He said she was just dancing around. Adam said that Janet Jackson isn't going to just sit there behind a piano and play something. He said Lady Gaga can knock something out like that but Janet Jackson has to do something like The Wall.

    Howard played a clip of David Alan Grier on the show talking about how he can't hang out with Adam anymore because of his right wing politics. He said he hasn't been on his show in years.

    Howard asked Adam what happened there. Adam said he always thought he was insanely talked and they just fit together. He said they would hang out together. He said he'd go to his house and watch fights. He said they'd go out to bars and stuff. Howard said he can't do that with people. He said no matter who it is he can't go out to a bar with someone. He said he gets exhausted and has to go home. Adam said David did some stuff for them and he did Crank Yankers. He said he'd get him involved in anything he could. He said they had a professional and personal relationship. Adam said he dint talk to him and have a falling out. He said there's something going on and it's really not fair. Howard asked when he knew he had something going on. Adam said David is nuts. He said he'll fall off for a few years and not get back to you. Howard said maybe he's not mad at him. Adam said if he saw him he's sure he would hug him. He said he thinks so anyway. He said he's nuts but he's fun. He said you'd hang out with him but if he wanted to date your sister you'd tackle your sister and tell her to run.

    Adam said he has a podcast and he doesn't book it. He said he just shows up and asks who they've got. He said what ends up happening is they have Rob Reiner and Bryan Cranston on but he has Tucker Carlson and guys like that on. He said he has guys from both sides on and everything in the middle. He said he looks at them all like they're personalities. He said the side of Bryan Cranston and David don't think the other side should have a platform. He said if you have on the other side they get upset. He said that there are a lot of people on the right and the Hollywood folks on the left don't like that they are able to speak. Adam said he likes to give both sides the chance to speak and then you decide.

    Howard said he tends to agree with Adam that it's kind of lame if you don't talk to Tucker Carlson and only have one side on. He said that he wouldn't shy away from having a Bill O'Reilly on the show.

    Howard asked if David called him about this and asked if he's a trump supporter. Adam said he never called him. He said he didn't have any idea what was going on. He said it had been years since he was on the show and his booker said that he called and didn't get a call back. Howard said Adam has no beef with David then. Adam said it wasn't surprising to him what he said about him because he is erratic. He said there's a lot of this going on in our society right now. He said it sounds self involved and arrogant. He said the guests he has on are his business and not anyone else's.

    Howard asked if he is a Trump supporter. Howard said he voted for Hillary himself an he's been talking about that. Adam said he's not a Trump supporter but he's a President supporter and a United States supporter. He said he'd like him to excel so the country can excel. He said that he's not that interested in doing a demonizaton of Trump. He said he doesn't want to tell his daughter that the president has declared war on her Fallopian tubes. He said that you take care of your own business. Howard said you're going to get blow back on that when it's about abortion. He said that this whole thing feels weird. He said people are passionate about it. Adam said god bless Alyssa Milano and her crazy tweets. He said if you've been around long enough and heard the doom and gloom you know that it will work out. Howard said this is why David is upset. He said that this world is being destroyed and he thinks that it's true that it's going to be a disaster. Adam said he does everything he can do to help with that so he has LED bulbs and all of that. He said Dr. Drew was telling him to reach out to David. He said he shouldn't have to be the one. He said he didn't do anything. Howard said he'd love to broker that meeting.

    Howard said Adam has this stand up special called Not Taco Bell Material. He said that refers to Taco Bell telling him that he's not Taco Bell material. Adam said he went to a Taco Bell to get a job and they rejected him. He said he was 15 and a half and they rejected him. He said that was on a list of things that were soul crushing to him. He said that was way back in a line of other things though.

    Howard said he would love to read the paper where they said what it was about him that was wrong. Adam said he thinks back on it and he thinks that he was functionally illiterate. He said the application looked like a note from the Unabomber he's sure. He said that if you looked at his printing from that age you'd think he was going to shoot up a school. He said he's left handed and he wasn't able to spell. He said they probably looked at it and just turned it down.

    Adam said he worked at McDonald's and he made the burgers there. He said that he remembers the lingo from there. He said one day he was working and they had the filet-o-fish in the warming tray too long. He said he was told to throw them all out. He said he got them all and walked out back to the dumpster and it was the most food he'd had in a long time. He said he wanted to see how many he could shove in his mouth at once. Howard said he's very encouraged by this news. He said he didn't know they had a time limit to get rid of them.

    Howard said when the burgers come out how do they cook them. Adam said they're in a cooler and you reach down and grab one. He said his manager would reach down and get like 8 at a time. He said he would lay them all down and sear them. He said he looked at him like he would be able to do that one day. He said 20 minutes later he was like ''Fuck this place.'' Howard said he remembers being a dish washer and cleaning dishes for 1000 people. He said he was told he was a great dish washer. He said he was all proud about that but he always beloved in doing a good job. Adam said he thinks that has carried through in his whole career. He said if there are kids listening now his loser friends would say they would do a kick ass job if they had a job. He said just start doing things right. Howard said that you have to do your best.

    Adam said that Jimmy would come in early and stay late. He said that was his ethic and he carried it straight into late night. He said he took that and brought it everywhere. Howard said he would do that kind of thing when he was starting out. He said he wanted to learn. Adam said people don't fully appreciate the repetitive work that Howard and Jimmy and he does. He said you get up and do your job and don't cut corners. He said people think it's show business so not all the rules apply. He said the rules apply to you doing this or running a bakery.

    Howard said he saw the guy who was the last Bachelor and he asked what he does for a living. He said the guy wants to be in show business. He said he was thinking that this mother fucker wants to be in show business. He said if you want to be successful you have to put in a lot of hours. He said you can't just be a host because you want to be.

    Adam said he was a boxing coach and all of these other things. He said he does a lot but it's all the same. He said it's a muscle that you have to hone and shape. He said writing a book is no different. He said you sit down and focus and do your work.

    Howard asked if he thinks he would be managing a few store's if he had gotten that Taco Bell job. Adam said he thinks that he'd have parts of San Fernando Valley and Arcadia by now.

    Howard said if you work hard you'll do okay in life. Adam said he always thought of carpentry as very pure. He said it doesn't favor you or care what you look like. He said if you're a good carpenter you'll never be out of work. He said he asks who is every out of work when you're good at your job. He said carpenters are never out of work if they're good at their job. Howard said his father was good at carpentry. He said he never said to him come down and learn something. He asked Adam where he got that skill. Adam said he got out of high school and never went to college. He said he was functionally illiterate. He said he had never filled out an application. He said he ended up on a construction site. He said you're a laborer. He said you do that and then you get to be an apprentice. He said you learn how to do things from that guy.

    Howard said Adam was the captain of the high school football team. He said he must have been popular. Adam said he wasn't really. He said he was the class clown too.

    Howard said Adam said he wasn't surprised that Robert Kraft went to a rub and tug. Adam said he didn't go to the expensive ones because people would have found out and followed him around. He said that a guy wants what a guy wants. He said years ago they did Crank Yankers with Eminem. He said that year he had made $55 million and he ended up buying lunch for them an he got Taco Bell for everyone. He said that's because Eminem likes Taco Bell. He said the reason Robert Kraft went there is because that's what he likes. He said that's what he craves. He said his cock craves that. Adam said he has never been to one but he thinks it shouldn't be called Rub and Tug. He said it should be a Tug and Rub. He said you get the tug out of the way and then you rub away. Howard said he likes the rub and then the tug. He said he's never done that either though. Adam said he wouldn't know when it's time for the tug.

    Howard said Adam talks about the lasagna test. He asked what that is. Adam said he saw a picture of Sarah Silverman in a picture where you could see her titties in the mirror. Howard said he saw that and it was shocking. Adam said she was complaining about it being censored. He said that back in the 80s he went into a radio station and he was told you can't say ''tits'' on the air. He said that you can say jugs but not tits. He said it was self imposed. He said there's no reason to adhere to those rules. He said the lasagne thing is that he can't understand where they are in censorship. He said they have a commercial for My 700 Pound Life or whatever and they have a guy's tits hanging out and you're looking at this shit like you don't want to see that guy's huge tits. He said you turn on Survivor and they have a 28 year old blonde model and her bikini bottom comes down and shows her ass crack. He said they blur that out. He said this guy with the huge areolas and they don't blur that out. He said the rules are arbitrary. He said that he says that the rule should be that if you're eating lasagne and you don't push it away then you don't censor it. He said that if you push it away then it should be censored.

    Adam said on terrestrial radio they can say tits now. He said they started saying ''titty bar'' and that was the stepping stone. Howard said that blows him away. He said that back in the day just saying ''kick ass rock and roll'' would get backlash. He said then it was saying douche bag. Adam said now you look back and wonder what we were thinking.

    Howard asked if Adam watches Game of Thrones. Adam said he didn't. He said he watches Jimmy's show of course. He said he watches car shows and MMA fighting shows. Howard said he thinks MMA guys could beat up boxers. Adam said they're getting really good. He said the sport is growing very fast too. He said it wasn't even sanctioned in New York a few years ago. He said when he first saw it the MMA stuff was guys on the ground. Howard said they had blood and pulling hair and stuff and it was amazing.

    Adam said he thinks it's growing so fast because we get too much of one thing and then you want the other. He said that it's like Nirvana and Motley Crue. He said Nirvana was the opposite of Motley Crue. He said that MMA is growing so fast because we're turning into pussies as a society. He said that on one spectrum we're turning into pussies so they turn to the MMA for the opposite thing. He said in 20 years everyone will be in an octagon or in a safe space.

    Howard asked if Adam's son is gay because he said something about that. Adam said he was joking about that. He said he has some material about the difference between raising a son and raising a daughter. He said he figured in 20 years he might be a gay guy. He said he's in the 7th grade now and he's going to end up getting bullied for not being gay by the time he's in high school. He said he joked in his special that he has just accepted that he will be gay and he can only hope that he'll be a top.

    Howard said Adam is doing very well with the podcast thing. He asked if he does it every day. Adam said he does. He said he does documentaries too. He said he has some docs about Paul Newman and other racers. He said you can find out more about all of this on his web site

    Howard said he heard about the Mad Magazine documentary they're doing. He said he doesn't want to be in it. He said Adam did email him about it. Adam said he did this documentary about Paul Newman and they interviewed some other racers who ended up passing away. He said they were going to do Newman and they lined up a bunch of people do it. Howard asked if Paul was a real race car driver. Adam said he was and he owns all of his cars. He said he races those cars too. Howard said that guy was fearless. Adam said that guy discovered race car diving around 45 years old and it became a passion for him. He said he was on tour and traveling the country racing. Howard said he was an amazing guy. He said he raised a lot of money for charity. Robin said they're still doing it. Adam said you can see all of that in the documentary. He said they would go to Road Atlanta and they'd be there for days. He said Paul was cooking for everyone and making the salad dressing for everyone.

    Howard said he wondered what he was doing by doing that. He said it must have made him happy. Robin asked what Howard is doing painting. Howard wondered that himself.

    Howard said he didn't realize how long they've been talking. He said Adam should have said he had to leave. Adam said his favorite thing to do is sit and talk to Howard. Howard thanked him for that. He reviewed what they have learned today. They talked about the stand up special and Adam said he's really proud of that. Howard said he reveals what he made over his career in that. He said he starts out at McDonald's making $275 and then he talks about making a million by 1998.

    Robin asked what he thinks about the college scandal. Howard said he said something about doing that for his son since he's a bad student. Adam said his son is a bright kid but he's a bad student.

    Howard wrapped up with Adam and gave him some plugs for his special and web site They went to break a short time later. - As Seen on Howard Stern

  • Book Promo, Parents & Email / DJ Khaled Yelling. 05/23/19. 8:45am
    Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard talked about book promotion, his parents and read some email. Here's my rundown:

    Howard Doesn't Want To Be A Dick But... 05/21/19. 9:25am
    After the break Howard came right back and said that when he did the Jimmy Fallon show they got him a Jumbo-Tron in Times Square and they wanted him to get there early to rehearse it. He said he wasn't going to do that. He was there to be a guest, he doesn't work for them. He said they did it but they showed it to him on an iPad. He said he didn't want to rehearse.

    Robin said they did a little preview on The View where he said something before going out. Howard said they asked him to stand there and say something. He said he just told them not to tell him what it is and just put the camera on him. He said he's not sure what he even said. He said he felt like an idiot. Howard said you don't want to be that guy who says something stupid. He also doesn't want to say no. He said they had him stand in the light and then wave and say something like ''I'm coming up next'' or something. JD said he'll have it in like 2 seconds. Howard said he's not sure he wants to hear it. He said he never tells his guests what to do. He said he just has them on the air.

    Howard said he was done on The View and they came up and asked him to do something for Whoopi. He said he didn't know what was going on. He said they asked him to just sit there and read something. He said he doesn't even know what he read. He said he asked them what it was he was doing. He asked what he was reading. Robin said he was reading what Whoopi does at the end of the show. Howard said he didn't know why he was doing it.

    Robin said she's not sure why Whoopi was making him do it. Howard said he doesn't know either.

    Howard had the clip of what he said before going out on The View. Howard said it wasn't the best thing he's ever said. He said he should have said something like ''Heil Hitler'' or something like that. He said that woman Sunny really would have freaked out. He said he can't wait for this promotion to be over. He said maybe he should have said ''Brent is lying.'' He said the camera guy was below him and he has a thing about that. He said the guy was shorter than him and they had him stand on a step. Howard said he knew he was going to look like a monster. he said he just went ''Whatever.'' He said he didn't want to be a dick but he knows he's going to look like shit. Robin said he looked fine.

    Howard said he wanted to be one of those people who just does what he's told. He said he used to work with Howie Mandel on America's Got Talent and he would do really crazy stuff without questioning anything. He said Howie didn't care. He said he'd jump out of a cake for Mel B's birthday party.

    Howard made up all kinds of nutty things that Howie would agree to do. He had people asking him to shove a microphone up his ass and saying something. He said he has a publicist with him and they distract that person while they ask you to do these other things. Robin said they have to tell them they can't approach him with stuff like that.

    Howard said Terry Gross read a release to him and he had to say okay to it. He said he has a lawyer who looks at that shit and they know that. He said Terry read the whole release. He said that he told her he doesn't do that. He said he has a lawyer who looks that shit over. He said she got annoyed with him over that. He said he almost caved in. He said she said everyone does it. He said he doesn't. He said thank god his Lawyer, Richard, showed up. He said he got that all taken care of. He said they almost didn't do the interview.

    Howard said they get a hold of you before these interviews. He said Terry Gross was very nice and it was a lovely interview. He said when he's in that state he'll agree to just about anything.

    Howard wondered why Terry Gross has to take care of the release. He said he's so glad he doesn't have to do that to his guests. He said that's why he's glad he doesn't have to work at NPR. He said they'd have to get someone else to do that stuff for him. He said that's why he likes just sitting there talking to Robin. He said Robin sits there like a gentleman.

    Howard said he had a lovely time with Terry. He said it was a good interview. He said it's a weird thing when he didn't know what to say. He said he just said ''I don't do that'' and he felt bad for her. He said he gets embarrassed by that. He said that's why someone else is supposed to handle the release.

    Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's going to have a party outside of Colbert. she said they'll be there from 2pm. Howard asked if she's going to be inside. Mariann said she'll be outside and she's fine with that. Howard hung up on her and said he's really not in the mood for this today. He said imagine what he's going to be like at 5:30 tonight. He said he'd dreading it. Robin said he's dreading it more now. Howard said he will be wearing sunglasses because his eyes will be at half mast. He said he tried to get this on a different day but this was the only one they had so he's not going to bust Stephen's balls. He said he's just going to do it.

    Howard said he has to tell his mother what show he's doing like 50 times. He did an impression of his mother talking about the Colbert appearance. He had her telling him he's doing too much. He said his mother went to the doctor and got stuck in traffic. He said his dad had someone contact him to find out where she was. He said he had to tell that person she was in the car and she's fine. They had to relay that message to his dad.

    Howard did his mother's voice talking about how she has a friend who asked her about the book her son wrote. He said the woman asked his mother if she could borrow her book. She told her she could but then she had second thoughts about it. Howard said he told her not to give that book to that person. He said that it's her book and she cherishes it.

    Robin said she got Howard's book and she had to go home with it. She said she had to make a stop on the way. Robin said she had to do her one thing for the day. Robin said she had a quick errand to run. She said she left the book in the car and she didn't want to. She said she didn't want to take it in. Howard had his mother and dad talking to Robin about leaving her book in the car and making it sound horrible that she did such a thing.

    Robin told more of her story and said she left it in the car and she knew people would see if it she carried it. Robin said she didn't want people asking to hold it and things like that. Robin said she told the guy driving the car not to touch that book. Howard still had his parents on the fake phone with Robin. He had his mother telling Ben the story about the book and he had a hard time hearing her. Ray said she's not even sure what Robin's reason was.

    Robin said she wanted to be the first one to open it and examine it. She said she didn't want the driver to touch that book. Howard said there you go. Robin said how dare her friend be so obnoxious. Howard asked if she can buy one. Howard said his mom is so nice that she feels bad. Robin said she understands that but that was an inappropriate request. Howard said she had no problem telling him. He said she was yelling at him.

    Batman, Phone Calls And Email. 05/21/19. 9:50am
    Howard said they're thinking of casting Robert Pattinson from those Twilight movies as Batman. He said now people are starting 4 different petitions to keep him from being Batman. Robin said that's ridiculous. Howard said he likes that they're making another Batman. He said that's all he cares about. He said they did the same thing for Michael Keaton. He said now they want him back. He said give this kid a chance. He said he's sick of hearing from people.

    Robin said she was thinking the same thing about Game of Thrones. Howard said that was fine. Robin said it was ridiculous. She said no one was talking in the last couple of episodes because they don't know how to write anything. Robin said they were about to mount a war so she should have had something to say. Howard said just watch it and don't be so analytical.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he thought Adam was a great guest on the show yesterday. He said some of these liberal show hosts don't want to have on conservatives. Howard said they don't want that because they think they're making up facts. The caller said he's talking about in general about people like Bryan Cranston who don't want the conservatives to have a voice. Howard said start your own show. He asked who cares. Howard said there are two sides in this country and they seem to hate each other.

    Howard said he got some email about Adam Carolla. He read through some of that mail. He had a lot of positive feedback about the interview. Howard had some negative feedback too and one person asked that he never be allowed on the show again. Howard said he has to disagree with that.

    Howard said a lot of celebrities are posting photos with his book. He had a list of names and Paul Sheer was one of them. Robin asked who that is. Howard asked Gary to explain who he is. Howard said he knew that but Robin needed to know.

    Howard read some email about his appearance on The View. He had a bunch of positive feedback about that appearance. He read about Alec Baldwin posting a picture of himself holding his book. Gary said he saw one of Jerry Seinfeld holding a cat and the book.

    Howard read more email about his appearance on The View and said one fan complimented Robin about getting worked up over the ladies critiques of him. Howard said Robin has been acknowledged.

    Howard said one thing he did was get the word out about his book on The View. He had an email from someone who saw him on The View and they went right out and bought the book. Howard said another person said after they saw him on The View she bought two books. She got one for herself and one for her son.

    Howard said he was asked what ethnicity this Sunny from The View is. Robin said she thinks she's Dominican. Howard said she's half black and half Latina. Howard said he didn't know what she was.

    Howard read some email about the caller they had call in about him not going on conservative shows. Howard said people also loved Alex Jones commenting on fake Alex Jones.

    Howard Says He Can Do What DJ Khaled Does. 05/21/19. 10:00am
    Howard said his point about DJ Khaled is that this is finally something he could do. He said this is something he could do musically. He said he just appears to yell. He said he didn't see him on Saturday Night Live but he is a successful record producer. He said they usually sit in the background. Robin said he was supposed to be the musical guest but he brought people out and just yelled ''DJ Khaled.'' Robin said he doesn't even do it that well.

    Howard said he became aware of him during the Grammy Awards a few years ago. Howard played a clip of him yelling during a Rihanna performance.

    Robin said Howard could do more of what this guy does. she said he didn't do anything on Saturday Night Live other than yell his name out and introduce the artists who were performing.

    Howard said DJ Khaled produced a track for J-Lo and they performed it in 2018 at the Billboard awards. Howard said he doesn't shut up during the whole performance. He played the clip from that show. Howard said he kept going even after the song.

    Howard said he could do that. Fred played some shitty music and Howard yelled out a little bit. Howard played some of DJ Khaled's song ''For Free.'' Robin wondered why all of these artists work for him. Howard said he wouldn't want a producer yelling over his work. He said imagine if the Beatles were produced like this. He played a bit the guys created with DJ Khaled yelling over a Beatles song.

    Howard said this is like if he had Gary clearing his throat over the whole show. Howard took a call from Apples who said he loved Alex Jones video segment with Kimmel there. Howard said you have to get the app to see that stuff. He said it's a lot of fun.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he is looking forward to him on Colbert. He said he's missing his college commencement thing to go see him. Howard said he didn't hear a word he just said. He asked where he's graduating from. The guy said it so fast that Howard had to ask him to slow down. the guy said he's graduating from Suny Farmingdale. He said he's going to see Howard instead. Howard said that's probably better. Howard said he went to his college commencement but he didn't want to go. He said he went for his parents. He said he didn't go to high school graduation. He said he hated that high school and they hated him. Howard let the caller go. Robin said he never did slow down talking. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break a short time later.


  • Game Of Thrones Finale / Book Promo Appearances / Mariann Book Promotion. 05/23/19. 9:35am
    Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard discussed the Game of Thrones finale. Here's my rundown:

    Game Of Thrones Finale Talk. 05/20/19. 7:00am
    Howard started the show talking about how he got up early to watch Game of Thrones. He said he had to see it. He said he was up around 4 to watch. Robin said she saw it too. Howard said he watched that and everyone is bitching about it. He said it's a thing to bitch about it. He said they had to bring it to an end. Robin said she's not sure why they did it the way they did. She said they gave them 2 years and just 6 episodes. Robin wondered why they had to rush it. She said they ran out of the guy's writing. Howard said it's fine, it was good.

    Howard said in the old days you'd read a review of the show and the guy would have a list of 10 things that he'd think about it. He said now everyone wants to be a broadcaster so they bitch about things and don't tell you why it sucked. He said JD pulled some stuff off of YouTube. He said this is people who watched Game of Thrones and didn't like it. He said they have no way of articulating why they don't like it. He said this is a montage of fans. He said it's a bunch of idiots with an access to cameras. Robin said the internet was created so scientists could connect and share things and this is what it has turned into.

    Howard said everyone is a big shot now. He said they get on and say they didn't like the last episodes but they don't say why. Howard played the clip and people were saying it was the worst episode of that show they've seen in their life. Howard asked why though. He said they're not creating anything but they'll complain. He said they're busy on their phone.

    Howard said it's all the idiots who are on the internet. He said they should blow up the internet. He played more people reacting to the show. There were more people giving away the ending. Robin said ''spoiler alert'' but Howard asked who cares. He let the spoiler go.

    Howard said this guy thinks he's intelligent but he has no opinion. He said it's just a bunch of fucking assholes. He said the guy who had the right idea was Kim Jong Un who took the internet away from people. Howard did his Kim Jong Un impression and said he can't believe that people around the world don't speak English. He said they have different languages right next to each other in England and France. He said you'd think the French would have migrated over to there. He said it's weird. He said you'd think being so close it would be the same. Robin said back when that was all being created it wasn't that close.

    Howard said how about that language on Game of Thrones. He said that stuff sounds made up. Robin said it sounds like what Howard is speaking when he speaks Korean.

    Howard asked if Jon Hein liked the last episode. Jon said it was good but not great. He said he thought it was alright. Howard said he thought it was good. He said he liked that Peter Dinklage was walking around but people were complaining about how it went on too long. Howard said he thought it was good. He said Gary was complaining about it this morning. He said he was outraged by that. Jon said Gary felt it was boring. Gary said he thought it was slow. Howard said he thought it was the right speed. Jon said he liked it too. Robin said if something like that happened you'd be walking around like that too. Howard said he liked the Khaleesi when she had wings behind her. He said they did it again where there was a water bottle in a shot. He said it's a Poland Spring bottle. Jon said Memet found that on the internet. Robin said they couldn't redo it. She said they couldn't go back in.

    Howard said meanwhile the fatso guy on the show who killed the night walker is the guy who had the water bottle. He said he had one line in the show and he had to have a drink of water. Howard said that guy should have died in the show. Robin said she likes when someone in the show dies because they were a coward. Howard said Peter Dinklage should have died. He said he was the best part of the show. Jon said he was looking for that character to come out during the season. Robin said now Jon has a critique of the show. She told him to get out of here.

    Jon said he was waiting for him to figure it all out and he finally did in the final episode. Robin said that he kept saying they were great episodes. Jon said they were but he wanted more of that.

    Howard said that stupid language they speak is something people are learning. Howard said he's surprised Jon won't learn it. Robin said he probably will. Howard said people are learning it in classes and it's a useless language. Jon said that they did that with Klingon too.

    Howard said he's going to play a game with Robin. He said she has to tell him if it's Game of Thrones language or a foreign language. Robin said she can do that. Howard said he hates people for learning this stuff. Howard said HBO hired a linguist to create this language. Howard played a clip and asked Robin if this is real or made up. Robin said it was real. Howard said she's right, it's Arabic. Howard played another one and Robin said that's real too. Howard said she's wrong. He said it's Dothracki. He said that's wonderful. He said it's the international language of male virgins.

    Howard played another clip and asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said that's real. Howard said she is correct. He said it's Swahili. Howard said it all sounds the same to him. Robin said when you grow up hearing it then it makes sense. Howard had some audio of Robin speaking Klingon. Howard said sometimes he thinks JD is speaking Dothracki.

    Howard said he has one more. He played a clip for Robin and Robin said she thinks that's Game of Thrones. Howard said she's right. He said it's Dothracki. He played another one for her. Robin said that's a Game of Thrones thing. Howard said she's right again. He said that's Valerian.

    Jon said that's low Valerian. Howard played one more but said that's Turkish and asked why he's doing this. Howard said the show is over and he's happy it's over. Howard said you can't complain about the show and not have a reason for it. Howard asked what more you want for an ending.

    Robin said she was pissed off at the beginning of the season but she made it through. Howard said they could have just told people to come up with their own ending. Howard said he liked it all equally. Robin said he didn't even know what was happening. Howard said that's why it was fine.

    Jon said you had to watch it live or don't complain about the spoilers. He said it's a series finale so you have to watch it live.

    Howard said we need a new show. Jon said they're doing a prequel to the show. He said it's going to be a Targaryen prequel from long before the Khaleesi. Howard said if they did a show on the dragons and had naked chicks he'd watch it every week.

    Howard asked Jon who the last lead actor was to be naked in the show. Jon said it was probably Missandei. Howard said he thinks it was Arya. Howard said that Missandei was hot. Jon said she's in the Fast and Furious movies. Howard said she's hot. He said that series of movies is the biggest piece of shit. He said Ronnie is into that. Howard said Ronnie likes it because it's cars and guys beating each other up. Jon said Ronnie loves those movies. Howard said they're unwatchable.

    Howard said the show was good and now it's over. He said everyone get on with their life. Robin said she might have to stop by her counselor's office today.

    Calls, Howard On Jimmy Fallon, The View And More. 05/20/19. 7:25am
    Howard took a call from a guy who said they have to stop with the Game of Thrones talk. Howard said they didn't give away that much. The caller said he hasn't watched much of the show yet but he doesn't want all of it given away.

    Howard said they gave the ending of the show to the writers and not George RR Martin. He said it was all simplified and he can understand it now. Robin said those guys are going to write the next Star Wars. She said they're failing upward. Gary said Jon has the rule about the season finale. Howard said Jon already mentioned that. The caller told Gary to get back to his plantains. Howard asked if Gary has any. Gary held up his bucket of plantain chips. Howard said Gary really likes those things. They played a Baba Booey song parody to the tune of the Game of Thrones theme.

    Howard said Gary does that all the time where he says something that was already said. Gary said Jon said he didn't really proclaim it so he repeated it. Howard said Gary does that all the time. He said he messes up a lot. He said Gary has to listen.

    Howard said Gary was with him at The View. He said he liked having him there. He said he's not annoying. He said he wasn't in his dressing room for too long. Gary said he didn't want to annoy him. He said he went in and saw he was busy so he left. Howard said he lied that he stayed out of his face.

    Robin said Mariann from Brooklyn was all over the place. She was on Fallon. Howard said he had to bring her up on stage. He said over at Fallon's show they had a big thing of chocolate. He said he handed it over to Gary. Gary said Howard waved it around and gave it to him. Howard said he heard he had a lot of it. Gary said he had some and others had some of it too. Howard said that's how he pays Gary. He said he pays him in chocolate.

    Howard said there was quite an entourage at Fallon. He said he had Ralph and Toni to do his hair. He said Jimmy came back stage and talked to him and he kicked him out because it was a good conversation that they should have had on air. He said it was kind of fun.

    Gary told Howard that Jimmy stopped by to say hi to him too. He said he was in the hallway and Jimmy said hi and gave him a hug. Howard said he didn't know he was out there with him when he gave him the chocolate. Gary said he doesn't remember that. Howard said that's all he was asking. He said he can't get an answer out of him. Howard said he has a note saying that he was talking to Fallon when he handed him the chocolate. Gary said Will is saying it definitely happened. Howard said it's weird he wouldn't have noticed. Robin said it's weird that Gary doesn't remember. Gary said he's not sure why he'd remember that. Howard said he's not sure what's going on with Gary. He said you'd think he'd remember something like that.

    Howard said he doesn't remember Jimmy being out there. Gary said he remembers Howard handing him the chocolate but he doesn't remember if he was talking to Jimmy. Howard played another Baba Booey song parody.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he listened to the Terry Gross interview and it was great. He asked if he enjoys that more than just a light piece where h has to be on all the time. Howard said that's a good question. Howard asked if the caller bought the book (Howard Stern Comes Again). The caller said he hasn't yet because he's in his car a lot and he listens to Audio Books. Howard said he's wondering if anyone heard him on the Terry Gross show and went and bought the book. He said he's not sure if he's wasting his time. He said he wrote the book for his audience but he's trying to reach people who aren't in his audience. Howard said this guy didn't buy the book yet. He asked what he's doing with his life. The caller said he's going to buy it but he hasn't gotten it yet. Howard said he likes that this book is a hard cover and it's something you cherish. Howard said he's dreading this week the most because he's doing the Stephen Colbert show and he was doing the pre-interview for an hour. He said he was sick of talking about himself. He said he was telling this woman some stuff about the book but he just wants to go on and be himself. He said she said that Stephen would love to have him show some of his paintings. He said he isn't looking to be critiqued. He said he gave them like 10 drawings and paintings. He said he thinks it was the right thing to do but he was on the fence about it. Robin said it's very much up to him. Howard said he's trying to please everyone.

    Howard said on Fallon he did some singing and stuff. He said he slipped in a Picasso just to see if they can tell the difference.

    Howard asked what the caller asked. The guy asked his question again. Howard said he was exhausted after that Terry Gross interview. He said he's not sure if it sold any books. He said it was a good interview. He said who knows what sells books anyway.

    Howard said he's doing Colbert and then Anderson Cooper this week. He said that's it. He said he did Conan's podcast too. He said that's not out yet (it's out today). Howard said he loves that guy. Robin said it's out on the 27th. Howard said he's doing Colbert on Tuesday. He said he asked the P.R. team to not have him do anything on Monday or Tuesday. He said he laid that down and he asked not to do Wednesday but he'd do that if he has to. He said they ended up booking him on a Tuesday for Colbert. He said he loves Stephen but he doesn't want to do his show on a Tuesday. He said he wishes they'd get another guest. He said they tape at 5 or 5:30. He said that would be like asking someone to go and perform at 3:30 in the morning. He said he's usually in bed by 6. He said he's just fucking grouchy. He said he's just an irritable fuck.

    Robin said it looked like he had fun on The View. Robin said it looked like they were all talking to him off the air. Howard said he had to call Whoopi off the air and ask what she was saying to him because he wasn't able to hear her. He said that she told him that Robin Williams wasn't angry with him toward the end. She said that he knew what it was all about. He said he thinks she was like that person she played in the movie Ghost and talked to Robin Williams after he died. Howard said they should put her in more movies. He said she was trying to make him feel better about Robin Williams. He said she's the sweetest. Robin said she was shocked about how much they were trying to talk to him off the air.

    Howard said that woman Sunny was not sunny at all off the air. He said she told him she's not a fan and she was told she had to read the book and then she said she read the book and she loved it. Howard asked if he was supposed to know who she is. He said she told him he won her over and he doesn't care anymore. He said he has done it all in this business. He said she can't lecture him about that. He said if she's Sunny then he's Energetic.

    Howard said she said he used the N-word and he was shocked by that. Robin said that's what's wrong. She said she was stating that like it was a fact. Robin said she doesn't like that. Robin said she has to reevaluate what she thinks about Sunny. Howard said he wanted to go out in the audience and sit with them asking what they thought had just happened. He said he had to work hard up there with that group. He said he should have done that. Robin said be careful what you say. She said they're not facts at all. Howard said she's sort of hot too. Robin said she said she hated Howard because he said the N-word. Howard said he thought that was the Greaseman.

    Howard said they were very nice to him over there. He said the whole idea was to go on and try to get people to read his book. He said he wanted them to know they'd have a good time with it. Robin said that's why she was upset when Sunny said that Howard used the N-word. Howard asked what he's supposed to do about that.

    Howard said he enjoyed the Terry Gross thing but it was exhausting. He said he did that for 2 hours. He said he'd rather mix it up and talk about his book instead of just his therapy.

    Howard said there was a weird thing that JD mentioned. He said that he could barely hear him on The View because one of the women was coughing so much. He played some audio that JD pulled from the show where someone was coughing over him when he'd talk.

    Howard asked if Robin hears that. Robin said she didn't notice that. Howard said they were talking earlier there and it would cost about 8 bucks to put in a cough button for each of them. He said he has one for Gary for his throat clearing problem.

    Howard said he got bleeped twice on The View. He played a clip where he said he would come again and they bleeped it out. He said something about coming again and often. They cut it out. Howard said he just said he was going to come again all over you or something like that. He said he didn't know. He said he was just having a good time. He said he didn't know it was dirty. He said it wasn't that bad.

    Howard said Whoopi told him when they first met. He said they met when they did a show over in England. Howard said she asked for any pictures from back then and he found some. He said that's when he asked for her phone number so he could call and talk to her about Robin Williams. He said he called her and she was nice. He said it was a quick conversation and it was sweet. He said he thinks she was just trying to make him feel better. He said he doesn't think Robin said anything to her about Howard Stern. Howard said he felt like he was bothering her when he called too. He said it was on a Saturday and she sounded really chill.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he had a physical therapist at his house and he saw Howard's book on his table and he said he had just heard him on Terry Gross. He said he said he's going to go buy the book now. Howard said maybe it does work then. The caller said he lives in Vermont and NPR is big up there. Howard said they say that Vermont is a good place to sell books sine they don't have TV in a lot of areas up there. The caller said that's true. Howard said Vermont is beautiful though. He said they read and collect leaves up there. Howard said that's his speed up there. He said he used to go up there. He said it was nice.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said the Terry Gross interview was great. Howard said they edited it into two shows instead of one. He said they must have liked it. The caller said the great thing is that Howard wasn't ''on'' during that interview. He said he loved every bit of it. He also said he loved the book. He asked Howard how much discussion he has with Fred and Robin about renewing his contract. Howard said he doesn't think they talk about it. He said he and Fred never talk. He said he and Robin don't really talk about the contract stuff. He said they probably should. He said he talks to Robin all the time. He said he'll bitch to her about things. He said they don't really sit down and talk about it. Robin said they don't talk about what they're going to do. Howard said it would be kind of silly to do that. He said they all negotiate themselves. Howard asked what's up with the caller's phone. The caller said he'll fix it for him. Howard said he shouldn't have said anything. The caller asked if he talked to Robin and Fred about being on board if he goes on. Howard said he just assumes. He said if they do it again he might have to do that. He said that he and Robin have talked about it a little bit. He said if Sirius wants them again he would talk to Robin.

    Howard said his wife was sleeping this morning and he wanted to watch the last 15 minutes of Game of Thrones and he didn't want to go to work. He said he looked at Beth sleeping and she's snoring there. He said he has a tirade every morning about going to work. He said he had an hour to watch Game of Thrones and it was an hour and 20 minutes. He said he just started it and he knew he only had an hour. He said timing was key. He said the remote was dead when he picked it up. He said he has spent a fortune on this system he has. He said nothing works. He said Beth complains about it and he says he knows. He said he had even less time to watch Game of Thrones. He said he's a walking tirade. Howard said he had to charge his remote for 7 minutes so he had even less time to watch the show.

    More Calls And Book Promotion Talk. 05/20/19. 8:00am
    Howard took a call from a guy who said he's screwing up the book promotion by going on liberal shows and not conservative shows. Howard said here's the thing. He said he went to the book publishing company and said look guys, how many appearances can he really make? He said he has to talk to people and he did 3 major magazine interviews. The caller asked if he knows how many conservatives love him. Howard said just listen to this answer. He said he sat down with the P.R. team and told them to pick out the shows they want him to do. He said they're the shows that sell the most books. He said there was a list of 170 things they wanted him to do. He said pick your top 50. He said a lot were newspapers. He said they had to do NPR. He said they know the business. He said NPR, The View and Ellen Degeneres all sell books. He said Bill Maher sells books but he's not going to California. He said they asked him to do NPR and The View and Colbert. He said they asked him to do Fallon. He said that CBS Sunday Morning isn't Liberal. He said that more than Liberals watch CBS. He said that he watches FBI on CBS. He said he loves SEAL Team on CBS. He said he doesn't care if it's liberal or conservative.

    The caller said he's trying to sell to everyone though. Howard said he's trying to sell to book readers. The caller said he would like to see him on some shows that he watches. Howard asked if he only watches FOX News. Howard said he has no problem going on those shows.

    Howard said he picked the top 50 and did those. He said all he was worried about was what sells books. The caller said he should try to do those other shows. Howard said he did enough shows. He said he's not sure what to tell this guy. He said he spent 2 years writing this book and he did all of this promotion. He said he doesn't like this guy Rod. He said he's sitting here fighting with him. He said it's like asking him to do Saturday Night Live and shows like that. He said he can only do so many shows.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw his book at a dance recital he was at over the weekend. He said someone's mom is into the book. Howard said that's a good way to promote the book.

    Howard said he's getting a lot of feedback about the shows he's doing. He read some mail about the Jimmy Fallon appearance. He said he wasn't planning on putting Mariann on but he brought her up there. He said he thought it would be funny and it was. Robin said she was hiding behind her hair. Howard said she did a good job. Howard had her on the phone. Mariann said she was stressed over the whole weekend. She said she took an Uber over there and then she got stuck in traffic from a helicopter crash. She said she got to hug him on live TV. She said Howard and Fallon were so great. She said Jimmy came out after the show and talked about how great he is for 25 minutes. Howard said no kidding. Mariann said screw that Sunny. She said they were booing her. Howard said she represents those people who he's trying to reach. Howard thanked Mariann for the call. They played her off.

    Howard said they were talking to Mariann last week and she said she didn't have a ticket. He said the Fallon people called asking if they wanted her there. Howard said Mariann is doing so much book promotion that he had to get her in there. Howard said she called into Jillian Barberie's KABC radio show to promote the book. Howard played a clip of that call. He said it sounds like they're battling over who is the bigger fan. Jillian said that she has preordered the book and she will be getting it.

    Howard said Mariann called into Chris Booker's show Amped too. Howard played that clip and said it sounds like Booker is doing his show through an Amp. The sound quality was awful. Howard did an impression of the muffled sounding show. JD said that he sent him that audio that he had recorded on his phone so that's not what it sounds like.

    Howard said Mariann called into another show in Texas. He played that clip and Mariann got in a plug for the book Howard Stern Comes Again.

    Howard said Sour Shoes called into a show as Mariann. He said this was the Michael Kay show. Howard played the clip and Sour's impression didn't fool one of the guys. He said he thinks that was Sour Shoes. Howard said this is amazing. He said that was Sour Shoes calling in as Mariann promoting his book.

    Howard said Mariann is a very loyal fan. He said she was on the Today show too. He played a bit where they had a clip of Mariann screaming over them promoting the book on the show. Howard had her on Wheel of Fortune and Game of Thrones too. Howard said he has to take a break now. He did a live commercial read and went to break.


  • Alex Jones On Alex Jones. 05/23/19. 10:50am
    Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard played audio of Alex Jones commenting on fake Alex Jones. Here's my rundown:

    Alex Jones Reacts To Fake Alex Jones. 05/20/19. 8:40am
    After the break they played The Killers ''All These Things That I've Done'' as they were coming back. Howard said it sounds very John Lennon-esque. Fred said he hears that. Howard asked if he had that on his playlist. Fred said he did. Howard said someone should check that playlist.

    Howard said how about that phony phone call. Robin said that was great. Robin and Howard talked about some of the things fake Melania talked about in the call.

    Howard said speaking of weird shit they had Jimmy Kimmel there last week and had fake Alex Jones on. He said the real Alex Jones watched the video they released. He said go watch it if you haven't seen it. He said the real Alex Jones commented on it. He had some audio of him talking about how he would never claim that Jimmy Kimmel and George Soros ran child kidnapping rings. Howard said he was upset they had George Soros eating babies.

    Howard asked Gary about what happened with Alex Jones. Gary said they reached out to them on social media and he called them back when they asked to speak to them. Gary said they acted like they called them to find out if he was upset about the bit or not and that's not what happened. Howard asked why he would say that. Gary said because most of what comes out of his mouth isn't true. He said he has to make it seem like they need him.

    Howard played a clip of Alex talking about how he's sure he's done more wild stuff than Howard and Jimmy combined. Howard said he's not arguing with that. He said there's not a person on the planet who hasn't done more wild stuff than him.

    Alex said he can't believe that their producer called and thought he was mad about this. He said now Howard pisses on people when they do this kind of thing. Alex said they claim they have poison in their supplements. Howard said this guy said Sandy Hook was fake or something along those lines. He said he can't beat that. He said he is definitely wilder than him. He said in his personal life he's not wild at all.

    Howard said Alex suggested that he take vitamin B12 because of his cancer scare. He said then he injected himself with B12 on the air. Howard played a clip of Alex doing that. Alex was talking about taking vitamin B12 and injected himself on the air. Alex said it's pure, clean energy. He said it goes right into your bloodstream. Alex said if Howard wants to live he should take military grade vitamin B12.

    Robin said he said a few weeks ago he was suffering a psychotic episode and that's why he said the things about Sandy Hook. Robin asked if he's okay.

    Howard said fake Alex Jones isn't that far off of the real Alex Jones. He said that this is Alex doing a commercial for something with ''deep earth crystals'' in it. He said it's the best atomic iodine out there.

    Howard took a call from fake Alex Jones who said he needs the deep earth crystals. He said if you don't have it you'll have withdrawals. Alex took an injection of something for him and he said that was the wrong thing. He said give him the Meth... or atomic iodine next. Then he got a delivery of some crystals that the guy said was crushed glass. Fake Alex said people have to pray for him and his InfoWars show. Howard said please send him some of those crystals. Howard let fake Alex go a short time later. Alex wouldn't hang up though. He had a bunch of InfoWars clips he played to keep Howard on the line. Howard eventually hung up and went to break.

    Today's show was over around 11:05am.

-- Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday --

  • The Rest Of This Week Is Archived.
    To keep the loading time of this page a little shorter I've filed the rest of this week's news in the archives. Click Here to view this week's archive.
    • Game Of Thrones Finale Talk. 05/20/19. 7:00am
    • Calls, Howard On Jimmy Fallon, The View And More. 05/20/19. 7:25am
    • More Calls And Book Promotion Talk. 05/20/19. 8:00am
    • Sammy Hagar & The Circle Album Review. 05/20/19. 8:20am
    • A New Phony Phone Call And More. 05/20/19. 8:30am
    • Alex Jones Reacts To Fake Alex Jones. 05/20/19. 8:40am
    • Adam Carolla Visits. 05/20/19. 9:00am
    • Robin's News. 05/20/19. 10:30am
    • Jon's Unbelievable BJ Story And Shuli Creepin' Around. 05/21/19. 7:00am
    • Brent's Unbelievable Wild Sex Story. 05/21/19. 7:10am
    • Howard's Exhausting Book Promotion Ending Soon. 05/21/19. 8:25am
    • Howard Takes Calls. 05/21/19. 8:35am
    • More Scheduling Complaints. 05/21/19. 8:45am
    • Gary's First Pitch 10th Anniversary. 05/21/19. 8:55am
    • The Party Brothers Clips. 05/21/19. 9:10am
    • Howard Doesn't Want To Be A Dick But... 05/21/19. 9:25am
    • Batman, Phone Calls And Email. 05/21/19. 9:50am
    • Howard Says He Can Do What DJ Khaled Does. 05/21/19. 10:00am
    • Mike And Brendan Sit In For The News. 05/21/19. 10:15am
    • Robin's News. 05/21/19. 10:30am
    • Howard's Long Day And Stephen Colbert Interview. 05/22/19. 7:00am
    • The Bachelor And Bachelorette Clips And Discussions. 05/22/19. 7:25am
    • More Colbert Discussions. 05/22/19. 7:35am
    • Lady Gaga Concert Announcement. 05/22/19. 7:55am
    • Howard Takes Some Calls. 05/22/19. 8:05am
    • Benjy Late, May Get Fired. 05/22/19. 8:10am
    • Dana Carvey Visits. 05/22/19. 8:55am
    • Robin's News. 05/22/19. 10:45am
    • To Be Archived Later This Week.

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