- Spring Vacation Replays - Day 5. 05/27/16. 7:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A Message of Hope bit from Mark the Bagger, a prank call to a radio show using clips of Sal Governale talking about white girls getting knocked up by black guys while drunk, Ronnie the Limo Driver ''Get down on the floor'' song parody.
Howard is off this week. They're playing some replays from the past few years this week. Here's what they played today:
- Carol Leifer On Wrap Up - April 8, 2014. 05/27/16. 7:00am
First up this morning they played a segment where Howard played a clip of Carol Leifer on the Wrap Up Show. Here's my rundown from that day:
Peaches Geldof Discussed. 04/08/14. 6:00am
Howard started the show talking about how sad he is for Bob Geldof. Howard said his 25 year old daughter died. Howard said a lot of people don't remember who Bob is. He said there was a famine relief that he started and he had a hit song with that fund raiser. He said he was also in the band Boomtown Rats and they had a hit song called ''I don't Like Mondays.'' Howard said Bob used to come on the show all the time. He said when he was a young man he'd come on and one day he said he had a baby and her name was Fifi Trixabelle or something like that. Howard said he then had a baby named Peaches. Howard said Bob stopped coming in and went off and did his thing. Howard said Bob's daughter Peaches is dead at 25. Howard said some people are saying drugs and some are saying suicide. Howard said bob released a statement and he felt so bad for the guy.
Howard said he remembers reading that the woman he had the kids with had sex with the guy from INXS and she had a kid with him. Howard said Bob ended up adopting that kid. Robin said the wife died too from something.
Howard said Peaches Geldof is the greatest name ever after Fifi Trixabelle. He said he felt so bad for Bob when he heard that story. He said he has another kid that's just 18 months old too. Howard said he heard that Peaches was getting over some tough stuff and she was going to concentrate on her kid.
Robin said even just days before someone dies they post stuff on Twitter and Facebook. Robin said Peaches had posted some pictures recently of herself with her child and a picture of herself when she was a child with her mother. Howard said you never know what can happen.
Howard said he was thinking about Bob Geldof and mentioned him to a few people and they had no idea who he was. Gary said Jason just asked who he was. Howard said he played some people one of Bob's hit song ''I Don't Like Mondays'' and they still have no idea who he was. Howard said the worst thing to happen is for one of your kids to die before you do. Robin said that Bob made a statement about how she was more bonkers than any of them. Howard said he thinks she meant that in a good way though. Howard played the song ''I Don't Like Mondays'' and said he doesn't like them either.
Carol Leifer's Prank Call And Other Various Audio Clips. 04/08/14. 6:10am
Howard said Carol Leifer was on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and she was talking about Sal and the reference she made to him in her book. Howard said she said that Sal is a good example of someone who doesn't give up and got hired there on the show. Howard said they were in the studio and Sal was feeling good about that. Howard said Carol cracked a joke about how Sal was a ''Fellatio Alger'' and Sal laughed. Howard said Sal had no idea what that was a reference to. He said he has no idea who Horatio Alger was and he didn't go look it up after the show. Howard said it's so Sal. Howard played the clip from the show where they were talking about that. Carol made her joke about Sal's story being a real ''Fellatio Alger'' story and Sal laughed. Gary pointed out that Sal has no idea who that is. Howard said Sal has to go through life pretending he knows.
Gary said Sal just said he knew who Horatio Alger was. He said he had him swear on the life of his kids he knew that yesterday. He said Sal told him that he didn't know it yesterday but he does know it now.
Howard said Carol was there yesterday and she made some prank calls with Sal and Richard. Howard played a call she made to a flower shop asking them to deliver some flowers to her husband in the hospital. Carol asked the guy at the flower shop to put something on the card about going into the light and how she'll always love him. Then she had him send another one to another man about her husband finally kicking the bucket and how they were in the money and they were going to do it on his coffin. She also added that she wanted to shove the flowers up the husband's dead old ass. Then she added that she thinks the guy at the flower shop swings both ways. The guy ended up hanging up on her.
Howard said someone who listened to Riley Martin's show is very astute. Howard said someone in 2006 asked Riley if the Biavians have a way of singing Happy Birthday. He said Riley sang it one way in 2006 and then he sang it another way in 2014. Howard played the 2006 version and then the newer version. Howard said they were two different songs. Robin said she's so sad that he can't recreate that song. Howard said you'd be fucked up too if you were on a spaceship and came to Earth and met Riley.
Howard said he has some other clips to play. Robin asked if anyone is going to confront Riley on that song. Howard said he's sure he'd have an excuse for that.
Howard said he has a clip of Jeff the Vomit Guy who went into a frenzy when he heard that Lady Gaga got puked on at a show. Howard played a voicemail he left asking to get in on that because he'd like to bear witness to the vomiting. He said he could be the guy who takes the vomit instead of Gaga. Howard said he can't even listen to that guy talk. He said he gets sick just hearing him talk about that stuff. Howard said he thinks that someone is speaking for his fetish of one. In the voicemail Jeff asked Howard to give him a call and he'll be there.
Howard played a prank call the guys made to a Bulimia hotline number using some Jeff the Vomit Guy audio clips talking about how he likes to see women vomit. The woman said that he is an asshole after they called with the clips a few times.
Howard said you'd think that someone would want him for that. Howard said that's the greatest call ever. He said it doesn't get better than that. He said you can't top it. He said they should play that over and over again. Howard said the whole thing is just horrible. He said that poor woman is working on the Bulimia hotline.
The Billy Joel Town Hall. 04/08/14. 6:20am
Howard said he mentioned that they're doing a Billy Joel Town Hall show on April 28th. Howard said they're going to have a special show with Billy where he'll be playing songs and they'll have audience members there asking questions. Howard said they're going to have other artists there performing with Billy too. Howard said a couple of fans will get to come and witness this too. He said you can check out SiriusXM.com/Howard for more information.
Howard said the show is going to air on Howard 100, 101 and the Billy Joel channel. Howard said everyone is having a good time with that channel. Howard said he was talking to Ronnie the Limo Driver who was listening all weekend to that channel. Howard said he was ''on'' the channel but he just meant he was listening all weekend. Howard said they should have Ronnie on the channel though.
Howard said Billy is such a good guy. He said he had them over to his house and told them that he was going to donate to Bianca's Furry Friends. He said that they're building a floor where animals can roam free. He said it's going to cost about $7 million to do it. Howard said Billy is doing a show on May 9th and he's presenting the proceeds from the night to Bianca's Furry Friends so they can build that floor. Howard said Beth broke down in tears and he was very moved. Howard said it's such a nice thing. Howard said he blew Billy. He said they loved it. Howard said that Billy is a rock guy and he's been blown by the best.
Wendy The Retard Voicemail And Some Phone Calls. 04/08/14. 6:25am
Howard said Wendy the Retard is calling in and she's looking for more money. He played a voicemail she left about how they're running out of food down there at her house. She said that she's trying to get someone to call her back from the food pantry but they won't return her calls. Howard said she only has one can of ravioli in the house to use until May. Howard played more of the clip and Wendy was talking about how she has to go to the dollar store and see if they'll help her out. Howard said the thing that ruins her story is that she's the size of a house. He said she has to be eating something. Robin said she's fascinated by this whole thing. Howard said maybe not eating for a couple of weeks would be good for her. Howard said he tried to explain to Wendy that the food at the supermarket isn't free.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's out on his newspaper route. Howard asked how much money he can make. The caller said he makes about 400 plus tips. He said there are some who can make 1000. He said he just drives around for 2 hours a night doing it. He said it's a cool gig. He said he still delivers 40 TV guides a week. Howard said he loves holding a newspaper. He said he still gets it delivered. The caller said he gets them all in the apps. Howard said his kids go online too. He said it's kind of sad that it's going to go away.
Howard said everyone finds their own web sites but with newspaper everyone reads it. THE caller said there are old people waiting on their porch for that stuff. He told Howard to please stay on the air until he's 90. Howard said when he's 90 he's going to be in big trouble.
Howard said this Oscar Pistorius is some actor. He said he can make himself cry at any time. Howard said he's a big baby. Howard said that fucker should man up and just go to jail. He said he should turn to the judge and just admit what he did. Howard said he's a psycho who killed someone. Howard said the judge is a female judge and she's a black woman. Howard said she's not going to take that nonsense. Howard said he should just man up and take his punishment. Howard said no one ever does that.
Eric The Actor Calls In. 04/08/14. 6:35am
Howard took a call from Eric the Actor who said he was calling because Legit airs April 30th and that will be his episode. That's on FXX. Howard asked what he's talking about. Howard skipped it and said that's fine. Eric also issued an apology for blaming Howard for being the puppet master of all of the people harassing him on Twitter. He said he found out that Howard isn't the puppet master. He said he's sincerely apologizing for that. Eric said he found out who it really is. He said he found out it's Gary. Howard said he told him. He said he has no idea what he's talking about but apology accepted. Howard asked Gary if he knows what he's talking about. Gary said he has zero idea.
Gary said Eric thinks everyone is against him but he has no idea how he's behind it all. Eric said he was told he has interns and JD making up fake Twitter accounts to harass him. He said he heard that he offered up free lunch to them for that. Gary said that's what he did while he was working on the birthday show and everything else there. Howard said Gary has time to fuck with Eric. Howard said he's mad at Gary now for doing all of that. He said he's taking away time from the job he does for him.
JD came in and said he's going to cop to it all too. He said he's using his own money to do that. Gary said Eric is some megalomaniac. Howard said Eric will be on Leiberman Live tonight at 4:45. Eric said because of that... Howard cut him off and said they had a guy on the street roast Eric. Howard said this guy starts goofing on people if you just show him a picture of the person. In the clip the guy was talking about how Eric looks and goofing on his feet and things like that. He said his feet look like they're doing sign language and shit. He said his hands look like dirty balled up newspaper and he must have to clap with his knuckles.
Howard said that guy is named Trag the Photo Roaster. Howard said he roasted Jay Leno too. Howard played a clip of him roasting Jay. He made fun of his chin and said it looks like an under cooked Kidney Bean.
Eric said on Facebook he posted that he completely supports Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said he loves Eric and wants to see him do well. He said he just loves his spirit. Howard said he loves that he's feisty and all of that. Howard said he's into TV and media and all of that. Howard said Eric is one paranoid mother fucker though. He said that if he really thinks Gary and JD are busy bothering him on social media he's out of his mind. Howard said he has no evidence that they're trying to sabotage his social media at all. Howard said he's just as wrong about them as he was about him. Howard said they like Eric. Howard said they have such busy lives that they have no time to do the things they love to do, never mind going after him on social media. Eric said he's sure he can get the evidence.
Gary asked Eric who told him that he was the one behind this. Eric said this person told him he was an intern at Sirius and that's what he heard. Howard said that's people fucking with him. Howard said if anyone has the time to fuck with him it's Robin. Eric said Johnny had the suspicion too. Howard said Johnny is just fucking with Eric. Howard said he doesn't know what to do with Eric.
Eric said this is going to be his last call for a while. He said he's going to the doctor on Friday and they are going to tell him he needs to have a valve replaced immediately or in a few months. Howard said he hopes he doesn't die on him. He said he would be really upset if he died. Eric said he's going to put himself on a hiatus. He said he has every intention of calling back though. Howard said he has a bad feeling about this. Howard said he really doesn't like this. He asked if he has the best people working on this. Eric said he wouldn't mind getting Dr. Oz to assist. Howard said he always wants a celebrity doctor. Howard said he's upset with Trag for goofing on Eric now. Howard asked if he has to go to a specialist since he's a special case. Eric said he goes to a regular guy. Howard asked what they have to do. Eric said they have to make an incision in his right side and go in and pull the old valve out and put a new valve in. Howard said this sounds like open heart surgery. Eric said that they may have to crack a few ribs to get in there.
Howard told Eric to hang in there. He said he doesn't want to lose him. Eric said it's going to be a couple of months of recovery after that. He said he will continue to do Leiberman Live when he can. Howard wished him luck and told him to take a selfie from the hospital so he can see him.
Howard said now he's upset. Eric said he will give them updates. Howard said Hanzi wants to talk to him before he goes. Howard took a call from Hanzi who said he's going to defend Eric. He said he thinks it's Howard behind the fake accounts. He said that he's doing it to Eric and doing it to him as well. Howard said Eric doesn't need anyone stirring him up and now Hanzi is coming on and getting him upset. Eric said he already apologized to Howard for that. Howard said Eric is going into the hospital and this is going to upset him. Hanzi said Howard is the one who makes Eric look like an asshole. He said Howard hides behind his workers all the time. Howard said all he does is hide behind them, sure. Howard said Eric doesn't even live with his parents but Hanzi still does. Hanzi said he doesn't want to sign up for disability. Howard said he should so he can get his own apartment. Hanzi said that he just wants something else to goof on him about. Howard said Hanzi is a tough character. He said he's just trying to get Eric all stirred up.
Eric said he doesn't live with his parents but the house he lives in is paid for by them. Howard said he doesn't want to get into all of that personal stuff with him.
Hanzi said Howard owes him movie parts. Howard said he can't force anyone to put him in a movie. Hanzi said there are people who want to put him in movies and Howard is stopping it. Howard said it was Eric who came up with that idea to get into movies. Howard said he's going to call his parents and ground him. He said he's going to take away his phone privileges. Howard said he'll have them take away his TV too. Howard said maybe his pot can be taken away. Hanzi said Howard already fucked his life up with that. Howard asked how he did that. Hanzi said Howard knows. Howard said he has no idea what he's talking about. Howard played a song parody about Hanzi and said he knows he doesn't care about Eric. Hanzi said he does care. Howard said he has to wish Eric luck with the heart valve thing. Howard asked if he has any last words for the show if something does happen. Eric said he hopes they continue to have a successful run. He said you can tune in and see him on Legit on April 30th on FXX. He'd also like people to give Jimmy Kimmel more ratings. Howard asked Eric to give them updates from the hospital.
Howard said he really has to go. He said he has a whole show to do. Hanzi asked if he's going to interview Dan Rather again. He said fuck that guy. Howard said Dan did a lot more than Hanzi ever did with his life. Howard said that Hanzi has some nerve talking about him like that. Hanzi went off on the United States for doing what they did in Viet Nam. He went off on Howard about going off on people after 9/11 too.
Hanzi asked if he can fuck Robin once and for all. Howard said yes. Hanzi said Robin wants his cock. Robin laughed. Hanzi said that Robin backs him up on all of this and she's the only one who calls Howard out on anything. Howard said maybe Robin can give Eric a going away present. Robin said that might stress him out.
Eric asked Howard if he can line up the nurse who came in for the breast evaluation a few years ago. Howard told him to calm down and not worry about that stuff. Howard said he has to get himself better and then they'll worry about the girls. Eric said alright to that. Howard let Eric and Hanzi go after playing another ''Imran Khan'' song parody.
- Jewel - February 5, 2013. 05/27/16. 7:55am
Next up on today's replay show they played a Jewel interview from 2013. Here's my rundown from that day:
Jewel Visits And Performs Live. 02/05/13. 8:10am
After the break we heard a prank call JD made to Riley Martin where he propositions him and Riley turns him down. Fred also played The Chambers Brothers ''Time Has Come Today'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and asked Jewel if she's into this song. She said it's okay. Howard said that she wasn't loving it. She said she's not. Howard said she's not really a music aficionado. Jewel said she was raised in Alaska and she had a strange assortment of music. She said she never heard Earth Wind and Fire. She said that her parents were musicians and they played out. She said she never heard Elvis do Heartbreak Hotel but she would perform it with her parents. Howard said that must be weird. Howard said she grew up without heavy musical influences. Jewel said she got into Odeta at an early age. She said that Cole Porter was another one. She said Joanie Mitchell was an influence too. She said that she thinks that's kind of cliché.
Howard said he remembers reading in Billboard that Alaska was a good place to be a DJ. Howard said he could have gone up there and done that.
Howard asked Jewel about making records and if she does the echo thing like this song had. Jewel said she doesn't usually but she will experiment with it. Howard asked if she's prepared for the studio before she goes in. She said you have to be these days because of the cost of studio time. She said that creativity can be compromised because of that.
Howard said they had Tommy Mottola on and he was talking about why Michael Jackson's record was so expensive. He would have multiple studio recordings going on at once. Jewel said it's easy to lose touch like that.
Howard said that Jewel did a video for FunnyOrDie.com and they made her look like a witch. They sent her into a Karaoke bar to sing her own songs and she won over the crowd in seconds. Jewel said she thought it was going to be kind of self-aggrandizing but it turned out okay.
Howard asked Gary where his song ''Salver Nickels and Golden Dimes'' is at. Gary said Fred has it. Howard said he wrote this song in 6th grade and he asked Jewel to cover it for him. Howard said that most people are familiar with it but he wants to play it for those who don't know it. Howard asked if she knew what he was talking about in the song. Jewel said she thinks so. Howard said it said nothing to her. She said that she was surprised and thought it was going to suck. She said she liked the drum part. Howard had cut it off right before it started. Howard let it play and said that was Jerry Dickowitz on drums. Howard sang along with his song.
Howard asked Jewel if she was moved by the song. She said it was kind of a Patty Smith kind of vibe. She said that it was pretty good. She said she's kind of prepared to play. She said she hasn't spoken in a week because she's been sick. She said she hasn't been able to sing it yet. Howard had her do the song after that. Jewel said she forgot the beginning so she had Howard do it. Howard started her off where he says ''Mary, come play with me. I'll give you a silver nickel.'' Then Jewel played her version of the song.
After the song Howard said he knew he wrote it for a reason. Howard asked if she could put the song on her new album. She said it's too late. The album is a Greatest Hits
album. She said she re-cut a few versions and had Kelly Clarkson sing with her on a song. Howard asked if she thinks about how she came up on American Idol and all of that. Jewel said she's talented and that's all she cares about. Howard asked if she could have taken the pressure of going on a show like that and performing. He asked when she had her first hit. She said she was 19 when she was signed and her song was a hit at 21. She said that she's been performing since she was 6.
Howard asked how she was discovered. She said it was Danny Goldberg who signed her. Jewel said that she was homeless at the time. Howard said she was living out of her car. She said she was working a bunch of dead end jobs and barely scraping by paying rent. She said she had a boss who asked her to sleep with him and she turned him down. She said she went to pick up her check the next day and the guy wouldn't look her in the eye. Howard said it's so brutal out there.
Howard said Jewel must seen the gloom in everything. Howard said she just had a baby and she must think about bringing a baby into this horrible world. She said that they have talked about how they don't want their kid to be in music. She said there are people who were nice to her for no reason and that changed her view on life.
Howard said that Jewel's family has a TV show and they make Honey Boo Boo look like she's living in a condo. Howard said that Jewel's dad killed a wolf and he cried over it. Howard wondered why he would cry over that and not over his own daughter. Jewel said that he has done a lot of work to make himself better. She said that he didn't have the skills when he was young but he worked on it.
Howard said she really had no parents. She said that her mother left when she was 8 and came back when she got signed. Jewel said that she went to a bar to sing and she would write 5 hours of material for that. She said that people started bringing her food and books to read. She said that they put a bootleg on radio in San Diego and that went to the top 10 requests. She said that people were taking her out to dinner and things like that. Howard said she was destined for success because she worked at writing 5 hours of material and reading the crowd. Howard said people want to take short cuts these days and you can't do that. Jewel said that it's a hard road to go.
Howard said that you have to learn to read the crowd. Jewel said that's what her father taught her to do. Howard asked if he would yell at her and things like that. She said that he wouldn't do that but he was abused as a kid and he raised his kids like he was raised. Jewel said she knew that she could end up marrying a drug addict if she stayed in that situation so she had to get out. Jewel said there were positive things there too though. She took from the good and tried to surround herself with more positive role models. She said it was a hard earned thing.
Howard asked if she was a depressed human being. She said she wasn't always depressed. She said she has been depressed but she never took any medication or anything. She said that she learned that you never outrun your problems by being around the bars all the time. She said she knew she had to face her problems as they came up. She said she went through so many phases. She said she got sick all the time and her kidneys were failing so she almost died in the parking lot of a hospital.
Howard asked what she thinks about the health care situation. She said she's not sure how to fix it but she would prefer free health care over the right to free roads. She said that a doctor helped her get through all of that and he was a really good guy.
Howard said that Jewel's fans pushed her onto the radio. Howard said she was one with her fans. Jewel said she still has that great relationship with her fans now. She said she stays in touch with Twitter and things like that. Jewel said she never thought she'd be so famous. She said that she thinks that if you're just honest with your fans then it will work.
Howard said Jewel was homeless and she was in great despair. Howard asked if she thought about stripping to make money. Jewel said she had friends who would let her shower in their apartments and one of the guys had an escort service. She said they talked to her about it and she learned what they do. She said that if she was skinnier she might have tried the stripping thing. She said she has been propositioned to be a guy's woman but she never went for that. Howard said it must be tempting. She said it was but she never did it. She said she doesn't judge anyone who has done it. Jewel said she felt she had something and she had that confidence. She said that she shouldn't have had any but she did. She said music made her feel like she had something. Howard said he feels that way about radio. He said he had something going on there. Howard said he did consider stripping for a while but they wouldn't hire him.
Howard said that Danny Goldberg discovers her. She said Tommy Mottola too. She said that Tommy struck her as kind of slimy. She said he was kind of a slick guy and that wasn't for her. Howard said she went with Danny instead. Jewel said she was homeless and she had every record label throwing deals at her. She said they would have given her millions to sign. Howard said then her mom shows up. Jewel said she would hitchhike to Anchorage to see her but she didn't see her a lot. Jewel said she's not sure if she can even talk about it. Howard asked if she's gone to therapy. She said she hasn't. Howard asked how she works this out then. Jewel said she reads a lot. Jewel said she read The Symposium and things like that so she would learn to look at things logically. Jewel said that her mother was homeless at that time and they would sometimes park in the same place. She said she had a spot that she liked to park at because there was a plant that would bloom right near by. She said that the owner of the house came out and asked if she was okay once but she didn't call the police.
Jewel said she had a boyfriend at one point and he was arrested for human trafficking. Jewel said that she was doing her own thing and living in her car though. She said she's sure she could have gotten an apartment if she got a credit card and racked up the bills.
Jewel told Howard that she would go out and sing for money and go get something to eat. She said that's how she was eating. She said she learned scams on how to get free food too. She said she would go to one place on Wednesdays to get free watermelon and she'd have to make up cleansing stories to get into that.
Howard asked Jewel if she attracted a lot of bad guys. She said that she never liked guys who weren't nice to her.
Howard asked if she was signed to the record company for millions. She said she turned down the millions because what you're doing is borrowing the money. She said she felt uncomfortable with that. Jewel said she didn't want to borrow that much and have to be successful. Jewel said that she had a lot of hype around her signing and she thought if she could make a living she'd be happy. Jewel said that she knew she'd be dropped if she borrowed 5 million and didn't make it. She said that she had a large back end with Danny Goldberg's company. She said she asked for $100,000 up front and for them to pay her rent.
Howard said then the mom shows up. Howard asked if that's when the anger finally exploded. She said she was actually happy. She said everyone wants a mom. Howard asked about her child, Case, and if she can imagine ever leaving Case. She said she can't. Howard asked under what circumstance she would leave the kid. She said none. Jewel said that she hasn't spoken to her mom since 2003. She said that story may not be told. Howard asked her to tell him. She said that it just wasn't a good relationship for her so she cut it off. Howard asked if she wants to see her kid. She said she hasn't been in touch since 2003 so she doesn't know. She knows she's alive and her brothers talk to her. She said she's pretty close to her brothers. She said that they don't know what went on with her and her mother though. She said she'll leave that to them.
Howard asked if she has ever gone to the house she used to park in front of. She said that she still goes there once in a while. It's in San Diego.
Howard said that's it. Mom is out of the picture and her dad sees the kid. She said that he's worked very hard on their relationship. She said that he felt guilty for his failing at being a dad. She said that he has crushing guilt over the whole thing. She said he tried to get healthy and she admires that. Jewel said that he was a badly damaged person and it's hard to face that when you're older. Howard said he's proud of him too for doing that. Jewel said that she's super happy now. She said her husband is good to her but it's not just that. She said that it takes time to become happy. She said she had to learn how to become happy. She explained to Howard how that's worked for her.
Howard asked if writing the songs has gotten the misery out of her. Jewel said she never wrote miserable songs. She said that she wrote ''Who Will Save Your Soul'' at 16 and she ended up getting a scholarship to a school. She said that she ended up hobo'ing through the country. Howard said it's amazing that she was never raped or molested doing that. Jewel said that a good part of it is luck. She said that you learn to read people in bars and she was a young child at the time. She said that she learned to take care of herself and trust her instincts. She said she once had a guy telling her that she shouldn't be hitchhiking. He kept telling her that over and over again. Jewel said that she pulled a knife out and asked him if he was going to fuck with her. She said he laughed and they're still friends to this day. She said he's like her best friend ever and he watches her baby for her at times.
Howard asked Jewel how she ended up writing her own songs. She said that she would just sing about what she sees and going to the big city would make her see things that she hadn't seen before. She said that she started free styling on the street and that's when that song ''Who Will Save Your Soul'' was written. She said that she got down to San Diego and took trains all over the place. Howard asked if she'll sing that one for them. She said she would do that. She sang the song for Howard after asking how much he wanted to hear. Howard said as much as she can handle.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. He said he'd save her soul. Howard said they're giving him the hi sign out there. Howard said he has to get to everything though. He asked her about fixing her teeth. She said she did it for a TV role. Jewel said that's a misconception. She said that she has that snaggle tooth and she had to put a cap in there to fix the problem. She said that it's not fixed completely.
Howard said that she looks good after having the baby. She said she's wearing a big dress. She said that she can't be loved just by fixing her looks. Robin asked if she's going to have any more kids. She said that she's not sure. She said she's 38 now.
Howard asked about touring with Neil Young and how scary that was. Jewel said that she went out on the road with Bob Dylan once too. She said that she sold like 3,000 records in a year. Howard asked if she was scared after that. Jewel said that was in the grunge days and there was no place for her on radio. She said she was touring her guts out and Dylan believed in her. Howard asked if he came on to her. Jewel said he didn't. Howard said he doesn't trust men. Jewel said she has never put out that vibe so that's probably why. She said Bob believed in her and helped her out with her lyrics and stuff.
Howard asked how she took off again after that album didn't work out. Jewel said she changed herself to get on radio. She said that Neil Young ended up taking her on the road and he told her not to change and just do what she does. She said that's when she started taking off on radio again. She said she went from 3000 a year to 500,000 a month.
Gary broke in and told Howard she really has to get out of there. Howard said he had way more questions for her. Howard said she should be a judge on America's Got Talent. She said she would do that if she could swing it. Howard said she's got this new album Greatest Hits out now. He said he'll play her song so she can march out of there. She said she's going to co-host The View this morning. Howard said that this is her song ''Two Hearts Breaking.'' He played her out to the song.
- Phone Calls And Covers - March 3, 2014. 05/27/16. 8:55am
Next up on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard took some calls. Here's my rundown from that day:
Email, News Stories, Phone Calls And More. 03/03/14. 8:40am
The caller asked if he could get his dad to sit in on the show for a couple of days to comment. Howard said his parents don't want to do anything anymore. He said that they barely leave the house now. Howard said that they say they would do stuff but he doesn't want to make them do it. The caller said he ran into Stuttering John at some party he was at. Howard said he thought they were ending this conversation. He said he felt stuck in it. Howard said that's great he said hi to Stuttering John. He let him go after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he jerks off in front of his computer when he knows there's a camera on the computer. Howard said that he was reading about how they can turn those cameras on so he puts a piece of tape over the camera. Howard said he jerks off in complete privacy. Howard said he likes to get completely nude when he jerks off. He said he watches YouPorn and he's fully nude when he does it.
Robin said they say that the NSA is going through web sites to see what you're up to. Howard said he wouldn't want anyone seeing him naked.
The caller asked Howard about his cat licking his finger after he sticks it in his ear. Howard said that he shouldn't do that. He said these innocent animals need compassion so get away from the cat. Howard said these white people are fucked up.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked him about the Type O Negative version of Cinnamon Girl. Howard thought they were from Germany the first time he heard the song. They were from Brooklyn though. Howard had Fred play the song for him. Howard said he had them on the show once and they did the song there in the studio. He said the lead singer is dead which bums him out. Howard let the song play and sang along with it a little bit. Howard said he wishes he was in a band and could play that. He said that's the song he's going to learn next.
Howard said Beth hates the music he plays in the house. He said he was running on the treadmill Beth. Howard said he played some songs for her and she hated it.
Richard Christy came in and said he wanted to jam with him. Howard said he has Richard for a band. He said he has Fred to play guitar too. Howard said he may make Richard grow his long hair back. Richard said he has a bald spot now.
Howard and Richard talked about Peter Steele dying of some heart condition. Howard said that he was in shape too. Richard said he used to drink a bottle of wine on stage and the guy was so big that it looked like a pop bottle. Richard said they had some other good songs that Howard would like. Howard said they had a couple of songs that were okay. He said he thinks Cinnamon Girl was the best of the songs they did. He had Fred play the song Richard was talking about but it wasn't one of their best according to Howard.
Howard said that Marilyn Manson did a great cover of ''Sweet Dreams'' that he loved. He had Fred play that. Howard said he heard that you can get these guys cheap to perform for you. Howard went into his Zacherle impression and talked up the song.
Howard had Fred play Cheap Trick's cover of ''Magical Mystery Tour.'' Fred said he has to see if they have it in the system. Howard asked how they can't have it in there. Fred said they did and played it. Howard said he listens to the live version that he really likes. He said he wants to play like Rick Nielson in his own band. He said he has to play guitar sitting down. He said they can't start the band until he can stand up and play. He said the first thing he has to do is buy a guitar strap.
Howard said that he has to play the guitar way too high on his chest. He said he won't look that cool. Howard said if you play up too high you're a douche. He said he wants it down low and sexy. He said he wants it like that guy Angus in AC/DC. He said he's a skinny little fuck. Richard said he sweats so much you can see where he was on the stage.
Howard said he has to learn to play some AC/DC. Robin asked if he has learned any Jimi Hendrix. Howard said he wanted to learn and he wrote to Leslie West who ended up sending him a picture of him on stage with Jimi. Howard said he ended up asking about that instead of getting some tips.
Richard told Howard to learn to play ''For Those About to Rock'' because it's really fun. Howard said he has to play these songs over and over. Richard said that's what he had to do when he was in the band. He said that's why he didn't get laid for 10 years. Howard said any guy in a band should be able to get laid. He said if you can't then you're an ultimate loser.
Howard said he's seen DJs that couldn't get laid. He said if you work in a radio station you should be able to get laid. Howard had to go to break after that.
- Howard On The View - November 16, 2015. 05/27/16. 9:15am
Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard played his cut down birthday message to Whoopi Goldberg from The View. Here's my rundown from that day:
Howard's Birthday Message To Whoopi Cut Down For The View. 11/16/15. 9:20am
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was listening to NPR and they found that Ben Carson doesn't know the difference between the deficit and the debt ceiling. Howard said that guy can't answer a question directly. Howard said he saw him on FOX News and he wasn't answering a question they asked him over and over. Howard said he's not sure why he's polling so high. The caller said he sounds like he has no idea what's going on. Howard said the guy continues his conversation even if he doesn't answer the question he's asked. Howard said it's not even a close answer. Howard said it's kind of like talking to Benjy. Robin said she saw something disturbing. She said he has a big painting with himself with Jesus. Howard thanked the caller and moved on.
Howard said Whoopi Goldberg was a great guest last week. He said he was asked by The View to come on the show for Whoopi's birthday and he wasn't able to go. Howard said they asked him to come on Friday. Howard said they asked him to cut a video for her birthday so he thought about it. Howard said she came to his birthday show. Howard said he cut the video and put some thought into it. Howard said he made sure he put a video together and got it over there. Howard said JD took the feed from The View and they chopped up his message to her. He said they took out all of the humor. Howard said The View woke him up to this. He said as of today, with peace and love, he will no longer be cutting any type of tape where people can edit him. He said he says this with peace and love. Howard said he won't be doing this for anyone else because of this.
Howard said he has both the message they cut up on The View and the original. Howard played the clip they aired on The View. In that Howard was talking about how proud of Whoopi he is. Howard said what he sent over was this. He played the clip where he was talking about how he's about 7 blocks from her studio and he wasn't able to make it. He wished her a happy 60th and he loves her on The Talk with Julie and Sharon. He corrected himself and said it's The View. Howard talked about the great things she's done and how she defended Michael Vick, Roman Polanski and Bill Cosby. He said he's sure that she'll be defending Jared from Subway today.
Howard said the love came from after 50 things. Howard said he did say something nice about her at the end. Howard played the rest of the clip and that's what they cut down for the air. Howard said that they could have taken a joke. JD said they played longer messages from other people. Howard said his line about the little lesbian girl was a great one. He said he thought it would bring the house down. Howard said he won't be doing this for anyone else because of that. Howard said it reminds him of how they cut up audio books.
Robin's Lunch With Jackie And More. 11/16/15. 9:25am
Howard said that they had Robin singing the French national anthem earlier. Howard replayed some of that. Howard said he loves it. Howard said she's been singing a lot lately. Robin just laughed. Howard said that her French is excellent.
Howard asked how Robin's lunch with Jackie Martling was. Robin said she had already apologized to him. She said the lunch was fine. Howard asked why she apologized. Robin said there was a period of time that she refused to talk to him and it drove him crazy. Howard said Robin took some classes or something and she has been apologizing to people. Then he heard she was apologizing to Jackie. Howard said he pulled her to the side and told her to think that one through. Robin said she just wants to be up front about what she was up to.
Gary asked if it was fun or uncomfortable. Robin said it was fine. Gary said that's an odd word. Robin said it was fine. She said that it wasn't uncomfortable. Robin said Jackie talked about his life a little bit. Howard played a bit they created about Robin and her apology tour.
Howard said he has a Hillary Clinton diner appearance part 2. He said this is a prank call they made to a diner where they asked them to fake a choking to get her some publicity. Howard played the second one where fake Hillary calls a diner asking how many black people they have there. The woman on the phone said they have like 10-20 a day. Hillary then asked for a list of different types of people that she'd like there when she comes there for a visit. She got crazy asking for dwarfs, midgets and mongoloids.
Howard said that was a nice woman at that diner. Howard said he was shocked by how nice that woman was. Howard said he liked the bit where Hillary was on and said ''Chello'' like Jeff the Drunk. Robin said she liked the one where she was stuck in the crawl space while she was spying on someone.
Big Foot Clips, Email, Tan Mom And More. 11/16/15. 9:35am
Howard said people enjoyed Big Foot last week. Howard said they don't over use him. He said he only comes in once in a while. Howard said they had him cut a phony phone call but he does have a gas problem. Howard said they had Big Foot do a thing about surviving in the woods. Howard said they cut them up and made him say things like this. He played a clip of Big Foot talking about finding a family and taking their tent and then showing your penis. Howard said that's a weird thing. Howard said he does belch and fart a lot. Howard played another clip of Big foot letting out a really guttural belch. Howard said he really does have an issue. Howard played a few more clips of Big Foot letting out some belches that were disgusting. Howard said he has the microphone on and he forgets. Howard said he has a coughing thing going on too. Howard said he thinks he smokes cigarettes and pot. Howard said he's going to throw up after listening to a coughing fit clip.
Howard said they had to read to Big Foot and have him repeat after them. Howard played another behind the scenes clip of Big Foot letting out belches during a recording session.
Howard said Big Foot has problems repeating some things. He said he can't say ''Live on you.'' Howard said he says ''Live on me'' even when they ask him to say ''live on you.''
Howard read some email about Robin's singing. Howard played more of Robin singing. Howard asked what's going on with her because she's singing a lot these days. Robin said she's just letting them record her now. Howard played a few clips of her singing songs on the top 5. Howard said he has to take his headphones off. He said she really belts those songs out. He laughed as he listened to one.
Howard said that someone wrote to him about Tan Mom not being a Wack Packer. Howard said he thinks this is Natalie Maines. He said she texted him about that. Howard said you can't argue with him about it because he created it. He said that Tan Mom is a Wack Packer. Howard said that this person says that she has the voice and the behavior but she doesn't elicit sympathy or compassion. Howard read through the long email and said that Tan Mom is a Wack Packer. He said that she's wacky and that's all it takes. Howard said that there have been plenty of other Wack Packers who haven't elicited sympathy. Howard said Mark McGrath and Horatio Sanz also think she's not a Wack Packer. Howard had some Wrap Up Show clips of the two of them talking about her.
Howard said he's going to let Mick the Nerd ask JJ Abrams some Star Wars questions when JJ is there. Howard said that they have to make sure Mick is ready for that.
Howard said Tan Mom is doing another one of those celebrity fight things. Howard said that she's going to be fighting a woman who used to be a man. Howard had some audio of Tan Mom talking about her upcoming fight. Tan Mom said she had some cocktails last time she had a fight. She said her gloves weren't on right that time.
Howard said Tan Mom got her ass kicked last time. Shuli was in to talk about her. He said she had some cocktails last time because she got there early. Shuli said that Mark McGrath is out of his mind not thinking she's in the Wack Pack. Shuli said Tan Mom calls him telling him to call her back 5 times. Then he calls her and she asks why he called. She doesn't remember why she told him to call. He said that's Wack Pack.
Howard said they told Tan Mom that she's fighting a woman who used to be a man. Howard had some audio of Shuli talking to her about that and she thinks that it's Caitlyn Jenner. Tan Mom called the person a ''freakazoid'' and a ''creature.''
Howard said he has another clip of Tan Mom drinking at her last fight. Howard said Vodka is like her Gatorade. Howard said that she was cool with fighting a man. Howard played a clip of Tan Mom rambling. Shuli said he asked her about what she's thankful for and she left out her husband. He asked her about that and she just said ''That's right.'' Howard said Shuli does a great impression of Tan Mom.
Howard said Sour Shoes called into the Dan Patrick show. Howard said he did a Gary and an Angry Alice. Howard played the clip of Sour Shoes doing his thing on Dan's show. He was singing and doing all of these impressions of Gary and Angry Alice. Howard said his audience must have been wondering what the fuck that was. Sour did an impression of Nicole Bass and Jackie the Joke Man too. Dan asked how Artie is doing. Sour went into his Artie impression. Dan Patrick said he's sorry to Gary Dell'Abate because of the Mets. Sour did more of his impression and then went into his Mike Francesa impression. Dan let Sour do his Lionel Richie impression to end the call.
Howard had a clip of Tan Mom hosting Saturday Night Live. Howard played the bit they created using clips of Tan Mom as if she was doing a monologue on Saturday Night Live. Howard said back in the 90s they did their channel 9 show. Howard said they should have just done their format. He said they could have had Tan Mom or Beetlejuice doing a monologue. He sad they could have just done a bunch of sketches. Howard said they wouldn't have needed a format. Shuli said that show blew away Saturday Night Live. He said he stopped watching Saturday Night Live because of that show. Howard said it was crazy difficult to do that show. Howard said they were yelled at by management all the time. Howard said that they were losers working at WWOR and they were yelling at him. Howard said they were at a shit channel yelling at him. He said it was just ridiculous. Howard said they could have had Weekend Update with conjoined twins.
Howard said they went from zero ratings to the number one show in New York and then back to zero ratings after the show was over. Howard said he was so proud of that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why they don't set up a YouTube channel for sketch comedy. Howard said he's busy doing this. He said he has a ton of meetings after the show today. He said he doesn't have the time for that stuff.
The caller asked if we should have more cops around. Howard said yes. He said there are so many dishonest people out there. Howard said we have to pay them more, get more cops and we have to be better people. Howard said you have to get leaders who are into leadership and aren't lazy. Howard said everyone throws their hands up in the air.
Howard said he has to get out of this conversation. The caller asked if he jerks off when Beth is in the house. Howard said he has. He said that she might not be into having sex and he'll just jerk off so he's not walking around all angry. He said he's doing her a favor. He said that she doesn't have to accommodate the likes of him. Howard said he had to take a break after that. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
- Joseph Sciambra - March 26, 2013. 05/27/16. 9:55am
Next on today's replay show they played an interview segment with Joseph Sciambra. Here's my rundown from that day:
Former Gay Porn Star Joseph Sciambra Visits. 03/26/13. 6:55am
After the break we heard a Gary Garver interview with Jay Leno. We also heard a ''Ronnie Mund Reads the Classics'' commercial parody. Fred played Pearl Jam's ''Alive'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that's a great song. He said that Joseph Sciambra is there. He's the gay porn star who isn't gay anymore.
Howard asked Joseph how many gay films he was in. Joseph said he was in at least a dozen. Howard said his story is fascinating. Howard said a lot of people want to know about this. Howard said he isn't claiming he's not gay anymore but he's not acting on it. Joseph said that word has been forced on so many of us. He said that he got religious. Howard said he read his story and he went into such a dark world and did so many weird things. He said that he figured he should just stay away from everything. Howard asked what's wrong with just finding someone who is gay and have a nice relationship. Joseph said he found it hard to do that. He said he doesn't think that exists. Joseph said the gay world would like us to see this in a certain way but it's not like that. He said there is a gay sector that's like the Martha Stewart sector and that sector is very small.
Howard said he has a cousin who is gay and he has a partner who is very nice and they've been in a long relationship and have a fabulous life together. Howard said it's just as normal as any heterosexual marriage. Joseph said he's found that to be the minority. He said he thinks that most of the gay world is being sold to kids.
Joseph said that when you have sex as a gay man you're going back to your childhood and trying to find something. He said it's not just two guys instead of a guy and a gal. He said there's a lot more to it. Robin said there's a lot of weird stuff with heterosexuals as well. Joseph said that it's been getting worse though. Robin said it's always been there.
Howard asked when he last had gay sex. Joseph said it was 1999. He said he swore off gay sex. Howard said that's when he found religion and god. Howard said Joseph didn't think it was god like. Joseph said he did a really hard core scene doing water sports and getting beat up. He said he was raped and drinking urine in the scene. Howard asked if he had a funnel put in his mouth and was drinking it that way. Joseph said he didn't do that at that time.
Howard said Joseph had his first trauma at the age of 9. He said an older girl exposed herself to him at that age. Howard said he had a similar thing at that age and it didn't traumatize him. Joseph said he had other things going on and it was enough to excite him. He said he saw a nude magazine and he had flashbacks to all of that. Howard asked if that's what he attributed that to. Joseph said he did. He said he had an attraction to women as a child. Howard said he thinks that people are born gay.
Joseph said that the devil entered his life through porn. Howard said he said he only looked at female porn and he became bored with it. Howard said he has never become bored with female porn. Howard said he only gets more into it the older he gets. Howard said he beat off to it the other day. Howard said a heterosexual man never gets sick of looking at it.
Joseph said that they did a study about porn and they found that men are much more likely to approve of gay marriage. Howard said that's a good thing. Howard said that gay marriage is good for this country. Joseph said he saw it in the 90s with gays in the military. He said they like to whip up these things in the government.
Howard asked Joseph about when he stared looking at gay porn. Joseph said his brother had penthouse and magazines like that so he saw men in that. He said he wondered what it would be like to be with men and that got him excited. He said he must have been bi-sexual. Joseph said that a lot of men in the gay porn world are like that. He said he had sex with women and it was good. He said he likes the gay sex more though. Howard said he's clearly gay. He said he's an effeminate guy. He said there is no shame in that. Joseph said that he rebukes that word ''gay.'' He said that any kid who has an attraction to a man is called gay. Howard said it is a form of sexuality and it's not a sin. Joseph said it's something that can be worked on. Howard and Robin asked why fight it? Joseph said he has spoken out against homosexuality and men have come to him saying they're not happy in the gay lifestyle. He said there is an option and you don't have to be gay.
Howard said Joseph is a gay man who is denying himself gay sex. Howard said he is a religious man and he's saying he doesn't want to partake in the gay sex life. He's going to be celibate. Howard said he is sitting there denying himself sex and it has to be driving him insane. Joseph said he has never been happier. Howard said that's good then.
Joseph said he had a lot of fame and he partied a lot when he was in porn. Joseph told Howard that when he was doing porn the worst part was making sure he could have anal by purging. He said he had hemorrhoids and fissures and bleeding down there too. He said he was mostly a ''top'' but he did take it in the ass. Joseph said he went through years of constant bleeding and being anemic. Howard said he could be in a relationship where he just blows the other guy. Howard said that's what George Takei and his husband Brad do.
Joseph said he has relationships with men who are attracted to other men but they're just friends. He said they hang out and go to church together.
Howard said Joseph thinks that he had the devil enter him through anal sex. Joseph said he had an exorcism for that. He said he got the devil out. He said he was speaking in tongues and he remembers the devil leaving his body. He hasn't had gay sex since then. Howard said ''Wow.'' Joseph said he was given the strength to not give into his lusts.
Howard asked Joseph how he decided to get into gay pornography. Joseph said when he was 18 he was confused about himself sexually. He said he was in San Francisco going to gay bath houses. He said he loved doing that and he'd go twice a week. He said he'd have at least two in each session. He said he would top each of them. He said things are bad these days because kids are growing up post-AIDS scare era so they're going in without protection.
Howard asked Joseph where he was raped. Joseph said he wasn't so much raped. He said he had a gay lover who brought him in and initiated him. He said it was gentle at first. He said he bottomed for him for the first time. He said that he didn't want to get AIDS. He said the guy asked if he would do a gang bang and let his friends do him. He said he agreed to do it and it was with 9 guys. Joseph said that he did it because he thought that if the guy loved him he would do anything for him. He said he started passing him on as he got older.
Howard asked Joseph if he has HIV. Joseph said he does not. He said God kept him here for a reason. He said he did have Chlamydia and he got it in the throat. He said he would do anal with his tongue and things like that. He said that he would do just about anything. He said he did a lot of ecstasy at that time too.
Howard asked if he had a weird taste in his mouth. Joseph said he didn't really. He said he had anal sex and he had blood coming out and he really didn't feel anything. Robin said she doesn't understand that. Joseph said it was after the sex that he felt the pain. He said you don't feel the pain while the 9 guys are doing you. Joseph said he had rough sex and got punched so he was unconscious for a time.
Howard said he thinks that this was so hard core that he doesn't like the gay thing because of that. Joseph said he met a lot of couples who weren't so monogamous.
Howard read about some of the things Joseph did an how he had sex in a port-a-potty and peed on a guy who asked him to do that. Joseph said this was at the Fulsom street fair. He said that he's not sure if they have cleaned it up since then. Gary said that they have not cleaned it up. Gary said they sent Wolfie there and guys were walking around with their dicks out.
Howard asked Joseph if he has shot a load in the past 8 years. Joseph said he has nocturnally but he doesn't masturbate. Joseph said he misses his friends from that world. He said that gay people are not the worst things on earth but people think they are. He said Jesus loves them too. He said he thinks that Jesus loves them even more than straight people.
Howard said Joseph did a Nazi fetish porn. Joseph said he was actually a neo-Nazi. Howard asked how that worked. Joseph said there is a sub sect that has a Nazi fetish. He said that he had a hard time with the wanting to kill Jews thing. He said the gay world and the Nazi world have a lot of similarities. He said they like the sweaty hard core guys. He said they have a lot of hatred for the people who oppose them too.
Howard asked what his gay name was. Joseph said he went by Joey. He said he wanted to be the next Joey Stefano. He said he was nothing like him though. He said he was grade Z porn. He said he was doing scat video and things like that. Howard asked if he got shit on. Joseph said he was the one shitting. He said these guys would rub the shit on their bodies. Joseph said that his clients at that time were high end. He said he got paid for sex. He said he'd get at least $200 to do that. The 200 was per hour.
Howard asked Joseph if his parents were upset about this. Joseph said they didn't know what he was doing. Howard asked what he's doing now. Joseph said he sells bibles and he has his own store. He said the only lover he has now is Jesus. He said that Jesus gives him the love and the masculinity he needs. Howard said he must miss having human contact. Joseph said he doesn't.
Robin asked if Joseph is watching The Bible series. Joseph said he has watched some of it. He said he thinks it's good for people who are just getting into the bible.
Howard asked Joseph what his message is. Joseph said that it's hard to find happiness in that life. Howard said maybe Joseph is just unable to. Howard said he knows people who are happy. He said he could introduce him to some of those people. Joseph said he would like to sit down and talk to them. Howard said he thinks they're more happy than most heterosexual couples. Howard said they're just gay and they accept it and they're happy. Joseph asked if it's an illusion. Robin said it's not anymore than a hetero couple.
Joseph said he had a female girlfriend and they went out to the Sierra Nevada once. He said they were out in the forest and he thought she was kind of loose. He said she didn't want to have sex in the woods. He said that wasn't like that in the gay community. He said that they'll do it anywhere. Joseph said that women aren't like that. Howard said Joseph could be like the woman and not do that kind of stuff. He said he could just go with a guy who really loves him. Joseph said he doesn't believe that it's possible. He said there is a fantasy to have something like that but it doesn't really exist. Joseph said he looked for it and he found that it's extremely rare. He said he's not against the gay community and he's very much for them. He said that he doesn't want to down them since they have been downed so much already.
Howard said he thinks that sex for Joseph is just too confusing. He said abstinence is probably best for him. Joseph said he thinks it is for other gay men too. He said there is something that is just not working there. He said a man should go to a woman.
Howard asked what Joseph is plugging today. Joseph said his book is called ''Swallowed by Satan: How Our Lord Jesus Christ Saved Me From Pornography, Homosexuality, And The Occult.''
Howard took a call from Gay JD which was just Sal or Richard making a call using clips of JD asking him to cum for him and things like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this guy is just transferring one addiction for anther. He said he thinks that he's transferred his urges from one extreme to another. He said he doesn't buy any of the religious crap himself. Joseph said he doesn't speak for the whole gay community but he has found hundreds of gay men who are not happy in the lifestyle. He said they want a way out.
Howard took another call from a guy who said the problem is that he doesn't think that this guy is being honest. He said if he was really being honest then he'd know that the lord would take out all of his desires. He said that Joseph was saying that he still has those urges. The guy wanted 5 minutes to talk to Joseph but Howard said they don't have 5 minutes.
Another caller said that this guy is mentally weak and he has been prayed upon. Joseph said it's that way for many gay men. The caller said he's bi-sexual himself. Joseph asked if he entered the gay lifestyle as a young guy. The caller said he did. Joseph said he did too and he was in California.
Howard cut Joseph off and took a call from Wood Yi who asked when he's going to get tired of sucking cock. Joseph told him to just call out to God. The guys in the back were playing clips of Wood Yi telling Joseph about gay things that he's done. Joseph said he'd pray for him.
Howard said you can get Joseph's book at SwallowedBySatan.com
Howard said that he thinks Joseph is a guy who was traumatized as a young man and he is trying to escape this whole thing. He said he thinks that he could have a successful gay relationship. Joseph said he doesn't think so. He said he has found so many other men that want out of this world.
Joseph told Howard that he was in a glory hole situation once and the devil presented himself to him. He said at times he'll present himself in a beautiful form too though. Howard asked how big the biggest penis was that he dealt with. Joseph said he was with someone who was about 11 inches. He said it wasn't good. He said gay men look for that big one and they look for that because there's something lacking in them.
Robin said when certain things are repressed in a society they can become sick. Robin said that gay men have had to hide for so long that they have gone in the opposite direction. Robin said it becomes a perversion. Robin said that it's not the gay people's fault.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back again. They were playing clips of George Takei speaking in Spanish. Joseph wasn't turned on by that at all. They were playing clips of George moaning while Joseph was trying to talk to Robin. Joseph said he's showing signs of a demonic possession because he was speaking in another language. They had George moaning and talking to Joseph and Joseph had no idea it was tapes of George.
Joseph told Howard that he met a lot of gay guys in San Francisco. He said a lot of them got used up and got AIDS and died. He said it's very sad. Howard said he agrees with what Robin was saying earlier.
Howard gave Joseph some more plugs for his book and web site. Joseph gave a shout out to an ex porn star who helped him out. He said she was the first ex-porn star to write about her experiences. He said she's been a hero to him. Robin asked what it felt like when Satan came out of him. Joseph said he went through an exorcism and it was a big weight off of him. He said he was doing a lot of bondage porn and the devil was pulling hard on those chains.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back again who were playing clips of Mark the Bagger asking if it was wrong to beat off to his dad. Joseph gave him some advice. Mark also asked how far up the ass he can take a whiffle ball bat. Howard asked if Joseph has ever done that. Joseph said he saw a guy sit on a road cone once. Howard asked Mark if he has ever done that. Mark said yes. Joseph said he knows a proctologist in San Francisco and he can make a living off just the gay clientele. He said they have a lot of problems with their rectums. Mark asked how he can get a Michelob bottle out of his ass. He asked how to get cum out of his cat's fur too. Joseph didn't get a chance to answer.
Howard gave Joseph some more plugs and Robin asked if he has ever gotten therapy. Joseph said he has not but he has spoken to a lot of people at the church and that's like therapy. Howard said it's really not. Joseph said he puts everything into the lord and into helping gay men. Howard said he would not go to Joseph for help. He said if you're gay you should enjoy it and have nice sex. He said if you don't like doing the crazy stuff then just don't do it. Have a partner and just have a good relationship. Joseph said that just doesn't happen. Joseph said it has happened to everyone he knew in San Francisco.
Howard said he has Gary the Homophobe on the phone. Joseph said he had to hold his friends when they were dying of AIDS. He said they all looked at him saying ''It wasn't worth it.'' He said they didn't have any choice. He said they didn't have a choice. Robin said we all have a choice. Joseph said they were all confused and they just wanted a man to love them. Howard said if he had a father who told him that he wished that he had a nice life and a nice man then he could have had it. Joseph said that's not the way the gay world is. Robin said that's because people like Joseph take themselves out and don't act responsible.
Joseph said he knows that it's hard to understand the gay world. Robin said there is no gay world. She said that they're making a gay world and it's not like that. She said he got caught up in this group that he thought was the gay world. Robin said that he has to find somebody to love.
Howard had to end the interview but Robin and Joseph were going on and on arguing with each other. Howard said he really has to end this. Robin said she could find women with the same story as Joe. Joseph said he has never been happier in his life. Howard said that's great. He gave him some more plugs and wrapped up. Howard said he's sorry he didn't have more time. Joseph said he was very nice to give him the time he did. They went to break a short time later.
- Sal & Richard Cry - November 9, 2015. 05/27/16. 10:55am
Next on today's replay show they played a segment where Howard talked to Richard and Sal about getting upset over ridiculous things. Here's my rundown from that day:
Sal Boycotting Simon Malls... Over Christmas Decorations. 11/09/15. 8:00am
After the break Howard came right back and said Gary was just telling him that Sal is upset about Christmas and this Simon Malls controversy. Robin said she doesn't know about that. Howard said Gary was explaining it to him and he zoned out. Howard said they have Santa at the mall but they don't have any Christmas decorations up. Howard said Sal may be getting upset about something he doesn't know that much about. Howard said there's a guy who he reads in the paper and he says that people are complaining about this attack on Christmas but they're not attacking it enough. Howard said the guy talks about how people are afraid to go after the church when kids are molested. Howard said that they want to pray to fix things that can't be fixed by prayer.
Howard asked Sal when he became so religious. Sal said he's not. Howard said people are upset about Starbucks Christmas cups because there's not enough decoration on it. Howard asked who really gives a fuck. Howard asked Sal what's going on with him. Sal said that he thinks he's going to be ridiculed about this. He said this mall has Santa in a space cube with no trees or anything else. Howard said they have Santa sitting there so what's the problem. Sal said Howard is scrambling his brain. Howard told him to take his time.
Sal said people are now offended by trees and decorations. He said that he has no problem with whatever you want to practice with religion. Sal said that the mall doesn't want to offend people. Howard said they're trying to make the most amount of people happy. Gary read the post that Sal put on Facebook. It was Sal talking about his disappointment when other people are exploited and things like that. Howard asked Sal why he cares. Gary said Sal is boycotting all Simon malls. Howard said Sal will forget it in 2 days. Howard said maybe that Santa isn't to his liking but they're trying to make people happy. Howard said that if you want Santa or a haunted house then do it in your own house. Sal said they keep catering to not offending people. Howard asked if he's offended when he sees Santa and it's not enough for him.
Howard asked when Sal was last at church. Sal said it was Tuesday because his son just made his confirmation. Howard said he heard Sal is upset with the homeless people too. Sal said that he's so pissed off at the drug addicts out there on the street. He said this DeBlasio is letting it happen. He said it's getting dangerous. He said he heard a guy yelling at him for walking slow behind him. He said he picked up the pace because of the guy. Howard said Sal wants Santa in the mall with trees and that will satisfy him. He wants all of the homeless dead too. Sal said not all of them. He said Giuliani and Bloomberg did a great job getting rid of them. He said you can't walk down the streets with your family with them out there.
Howard said he heard that Sal and Richard are crying over the band Coheed and Cambria. Sal said that he, Richard and Memet keep singing ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' back there all day. Howard said he can get that out of their heads with this new Justin Bieber song. Howard played some of that and then played their gay version of it. Howard said that's nice. Howard played some of ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' too. Sal said Richard said to him that they had to get that song out of their head by playing Coheed and Cambria. Sal said that ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' is in their heads all day long. Howard played that again and the new song too.
Sal told Howard what it is about the song that makes him cry. It's one line about how the guy is an anchor for his kid when he's on the road. Sal started to choke up talking about that. Howard asked why Richard is crying over that. Sal said it's because Richard thinks about his dad. Howard played the Coheed and Cambria song ''Atlas'' and Sal was crying saying that his makeup is running. Howard said he can't even understand the lyrics. Howard said Mark Harris even thinks this song is gay.
Howard let the song play and said he's going to let Sal cry over it. He gave up after a few seconds. Howard said how about working back there. Sal said they are working. He said that ''Suck your Ween'' song is stuck in their heads though.
Howard said he got a note saying that Sal and Richard will definitely cry if they hear the chorus from the song. Richard came in and said he cries thinking about Sal during the song. Howard said they should get married. Sal said Richard is the definition of what life is all about. Howard said he should separate the two of them. Howard asked if Sal is crying now. Sal said he is. He said Richard has such a big heart. He said he puts everyone ahead of him. Howard asked if he's in love with him. Sal said he is. Richard said Sal is very giving too. He said he does charity events and helps raise money. Howard said maybe he does it because no one is willing to pay him.
Sal said that he can fart back there and he'll make Memet vomit but Richard just takes it and doesn't complain. Howard said he's going to play the song again and if they start to cry he wants them to raise their hand so he can talk to them immediately. Howard played more of ''Atlas'' and Richard said he was losing it. Howard asked what he's thinking about. Richard said the song is just so sweet. He said it's the love that a father has for his son. He said it just makes him happy to hear it. Howard asked if he thinks that every father loves his son like that. Howard asked how Sal is doing. Sal said he was doing okay. Howard let the song play a little longer. Sal said sometimes you just wish your children would see things differently. He said they're teens now and you want to shake them and tell them that things are not how they see them. Howard said maybe his son sees it more clearly than he does. Howard said based on his conversations with him that might be the case.
Howard said what's weird is these little people who have a full sized kid and the kid is normal. Sal said he gets it. He said that he's saying that just because he's stupid doesn't mean that his kids will be. Sal said it's tough to know that you can't steer your kids in the direction you want to. He said time will take its toll and they'll have to learn on their own.
Joey Boots Prank Call To Medicated Pete. 11/09/15. 8:15am
Howard said he has some good stuff to play. He said this one is good. He said Joey Boots made a phony phone call. Howard said Joey was kind of high on the fact that Medicated Pete has a big penis. Howard said Joey calls him and wants to hang with Pete because of that. Howard said Pete has nothing going on but then he quickly changes his mind and has something going on. Howard played the call and Joey talks to Pete about what a good time they had together. Joey said he keeps dreaming of his penis. He said maybe he can crash with him one night. Pete tells him he has to see wheat's going on. Joey asked if he can come down and blow him. Pete said that he just wanted to say that he might be busy that weekend. Joey asked if he is open to a blow job. Pete said he has to see what his schedule is. Joey said he can't wait to have that cock in his mouth. Pete said he'll talk to him later and tried to say goodbye.
After that they played a ''Beetlejuice Is Bond'' commercial parody and then went to break.
Today's replay show was over around 11:15am. I will not be writing up the Wrap Up Show.