- George Takei Sits In. 12/05/16. 7:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A Casey Kasem's corpse top hits countdown, Lenny Kravitz performing ''Let Love Rule'' in the Howard Stern Show studio, Crackhead Bob singing Robin's news theme and a wrong number message bit.
Howard started the show talking about the big show they have today. He played a clip of Lenny Dykstra telling them what's coming up. Lenny said they have George Takei and Ed Torian coming in today. Howard said that's the great Met Lenny Dykstra.
Howard said their official show announcer is George Takei and he should be doing the announce. Howard played a clip of George announcing that Sal and Richard will be taking their lie detector test today. He said maybe he could test them by blowing them instead. Howard asked George if he would have stepped up to do that. George said it is radio so yes. He said Richard is cute. Howard said he likes Richard better than Sal? George said he has a broad range of likes. Howard said he figured he'd be attracted to Sal. George asked why. Howard said he is as gay as ever.
Howard asked George if he got a new hair cut or something. George said he did get it cut after he did Allegiance. Howard said George is 79. George said it's 79 and 3/4. He said only 4 more months and he turns 80. Howard said he really is an inspiration. He said sometimes he thinks about being older and he gets down. He said George is going to be 80 and he feels like he could go on another 30 years. George said he had a grandmother who celebrated every birthday and she lived to 104. Howard said he doesn't feel like he's an old dude. George said he's not. Howard asked if he can walk for miles. George said he can. He can't run anymore. He said that's from his foot surgery.
Howard said at almost 80 does he have aches and pains. George said he exercises every morning. He said he does 100 push ups and 50 sit ups every morning. George said he walks for a half hour in the neighborhood too. He said working out becomes a routine thing like brushing your teeth. Howard asked what he eats. George said he eats mostly fish and fowl. He said no gluten. He said he isn't fastidious about it though. He will eat bagels.
Howard asked George what he had for diner last night. George said he had swordfish. He said he ate at Vis-a-vi last night. Howard said that's his life.
Howard asked if he moves his bowels once a day. George said sometimes it's 2. He said welcome to the Howard Stern Show. Howard asked how often he pees. George said every two hours or so. He said it's something he's gotten used to. Howard asked if he still jerks off. George said he does. Howard asked if he uses Viagra. George said he doesn't have to.
George said yesterday was Sunday so he and Brad did their thing. They blew each other. George said they got some exercise in before doing that. Howard asked if he showered first. George said they did. Howard said good for you. Howard said that's something.
Howard said George is amazing. He said he is a spry man. Howard said he just moves like a younger man. Howard said he feels like an inspiration. Howard said he feels like he's getting aches and pains and he wonders if he's getting older or is he being a baby. George said that's part of life. Howard said George is doing 100 push ups a day. George said he has to have his feet raised up so he does them from the arm of a seat. He said they're harder that way. Howard asked if it's possible that Brad's semen is the fountain of youth. George laughed and said he'll tell him that. Howard said it could be. George said the thought never occurred to him.
Howard said he has some Star Trek stuff. George said this year is the 50th anniversary of the show. Howard said this goes back to William Shatner. Howard said he was on vacation but the boys had him on the Wrap Up Show. Howard said this was a couple of months ago. Howard played a clip and they had Shatner talking about how he doesn't know who George Takei really is. Shatner said that George has denigrated his name for 50 years now. Shatner said he's sorry for doing whatever it is he did to George.
After the clip Howard said he could go either way on this. He said he gets that he only worked with him 50 years ago. Howard said he did direct George in a movie. George said he turned that job down. He said Bill got on the phone and tried to get him to work for him. He said Nichele Nichols got on the phone and tried it first. George said that she's much more generous than he is. Howard said he sort of understands Bill's point of view. He knows who George is but you don't really know the person. Howard said he and Paul Giamatti did some scenes together and he gets what Bill is saying. Howard said Bill had so little to do with George on the set. Howard said George sees it a different way and he was directed by him. George said that they had parties on the set though. He said they had a party every week. Howard asked if he brought a woman with him to the party. George said he did but he also had some buddies. He said everyone got it other than Bill. He said it went right over his head.
George said that they would talk at the parties and he got to know Bill there. He said he called things as they were in his book. He said when there was a fire on the back lot they were working and they took Bill and Leonard off to pose with a fire hose. He said he described that in his book and he heard on the radio that he had saved Paramount studios. George said he called it as it was. He said when Deforest Kelly died Shatner was the only one who didn't show up. He said it was like that with Leonard Nimoy as well. He said they'd all get together for events and Bill was the one who was never there.
Howard said if he did show up for those things it would help them all make their brand stronger. George said that's right. He said that they asked Nichele to be part of their wedding and he had Walter Koenig as the best man. He said that they had their Star Trek friends there and he invited everybody from Star Trek. Bill didn't come. Howard said he said in the press that he didn't invite him. George said they did invite him. He said they said when they sent out invitations that he got it. He said he's sure he got it. They got no RSVP. George said they thought nothing of it until 2 months after the wedding when he said he never got an invitation.
Howard wondered why Bill would do that. George said they were puzzled. He said they were driving down the road and saw his new TV show that he was doing. He said it was called Raw Nerves. He said putting out the press release was the way to get publicity for the show. He said that's when he started talking about Bill. He said everything he said was factual. He said they did send him an invitation.
George said that maybe if he wanted to come he could have called them and they would have sent another invitation. He said since then he's been delivering a steady stream of criticisms about him. Howard said it must be fun for him though. George said it is. He said he can be very forthright about the situation. Howard said if he made up with him it might be boring. George said they talk about holding grudges but he's never had one with Bill. He said it was just when he started lying about them that he did. He said he just wants to correct the record.
Robin said at some point in William Shatner's career he must have said he was locked into this Captain Kirk thing but he wants to have a career and separate himself. Howard said he may be doing that. George said he's being relentless about it. Howard said it is a show from 50 years ago and he did other shows like TJ Hooker and that lawyer show.
- Previewing Sal And Richard's Test. 12/05/16. 7:20am
Howard said it's great to have George there. He said it's the perfect day to be there. He said they have the gay lie detector test going on. He said it's so exciting and there's a lot of controversy going on. Howard said in about 10 minutes they'll get to those two. Howard said Sal and Richard have been doing so many gay antics. George asked why Howard suspects them. Howard said Richard was talking about how he would take baths at his friend's house when he was in high school. He said they were post-pubescent. Howard said if he could have had a girl in a tub with him at that age he would have went ape shit. George said he would have goes ape shit with a guy. Howard said Richard was with a guy in a tub.
Howard said this is extremely gay. He said as a boy growing up in the 60s and 70s he'd be freaked out if a guy asked him to do that. He said he would have freaked out and not done it. Howard said Sal and Richard are constantly looking at each other's penises and touching each other. He said he doesn't think they are fully in touch with their penis.
Howard said Richard was getting married and he had a bachelor party but it was just with Sal. He took Sal to Atlantic City. George laughed when he heard the story. Howard said he's gay and laughing at this. Howard said they had couples spa and all of this stuff. Robin said Sal asked if he wanted to go to a strip club and Richard said he just wanted to cuddle up with Sal.
George said he thinks some people have pan-sexual tendencies. He said he saw a play called Falsettos and it was about a man who falls for another man. He told Howard about the musical and Howard asked if George was the only one in the theater. George said it's a very successful play. Howard started to sing his own song that could be in a musical like that. George laughed. Howard kept it going for a few minutes and had George cracking up.
Howard said they have a top lie detector test guy coming in to test Sal and Richard. He said that's the point of the whole day. Howard said George will also be doing the lighting of the penis today. George asked ''What?'' Howard said Sal and Richard will be wrapping their penises with Christmas lights and George will plug them in. Howard said last year Shatner did it. George said he's Jewish. Howard said he is but ''Shhh'' don't tell anyone.
Howard said George's play Allegiance is back for a day on December 13th. Howard said you can find out more about that at FathomEvents.com
Howard said George put his own money into the play. George said he did. He said that they made the mistake of opening the same year as Hamilton. He said they shot it with 4 cameras and that's what will be playing on December 13th.
Robin said she got an email from George and it was a whole political thing. She said that they were talking about camps for Muslims and things like that. George said that's why they want elected officials to know about the internment camps that they had in World War II. George said that they had a seat reserved for Donald Trump at Allegiance and he never showed. George said they want people to learn from their show and work it into their lives.
Howard said George has done it again. He said he can't wait to see that movie. George said Howard will enjoy it. He said they tell two love stories in the play. Howard started to sing again. He said he's going to take a break but he has to have George do an announce. Howard said he is willing to admit he knows George unlike Shatner. Howard said they have to get to Sal and Richard too.
Howard asked George to do his announce. He played a clip of George doing a read about Robin's slot. They went to break after that.
- Phone Calls And George Takei's Many Languages. 12/05/16. 7:40am
After the break Howard came right back and had George do another announce. He played a clip of George talking about how his penis gains 3 inches when he's on the planet Jupiter. Howard said that was beautiful.
Howard took a call from a guy who was doing a George Takei impression and talking about how he was about to jump into the shower. The caller also said George has a bit of a hypocrite in him. He said he's been on the show for 10 years and he dogs the guys about how they eat and all of that. He said then he saw him on a commercial for Taco Bell eating a big cordito. Howard said he has to pay for that musical somehow. Howard asked if he has a dilemma about doing that. George said to be honest he does eat fast food occasionally. He said he's not being a hypocrite. He said it's everything in moderation though. George said sometimes he'll eat a dessert but only if they bring him one because they like him. He said they never order it.
Howard asked how Brad's weight is. George said he's losing it. He said he's starting to look like the old Brad. He said he sees that portrait of himself and he's getting back to it.
Howard said he gets the dessert thing at restaurants. He said he will have a spoon full of it. Howard asked George if he thinks he'll ever just say fuck it and get fat. George said no. He said that you go into restaurants and you walk out so full that it's uncomfortable. He said he doesn't care to feel that way.
Howard asked if George cut a commercial in Spanish for the election. George said he did. He started speaking Spanish for Howard. Howard asked how he learned the language. George said that he grew up on Skid Row and he learned it hearing it there and in class. Howard said he must have a high IQ. George said his college minor was Hispanic language as well.
Howard asked George to say something to Fred in Spanish. George said he asked if he asked if he understands what he said in Spanish. Howard said he doesn't speak the language.
Howard said he has Lee Kingsnatch on the phone to teach George some Japanese. Howard put him on with George and George started speaking Japanese and Lee was speaking his own form of Japanese. Lee said they may have met in Central Park many years ago. Howard let Lee go a short time later.
Howard said Robin from time to time is fancy with pronunciations. He asked if she's saying ''Tehran'' correctly. George said she's close. Howard had Robin saying ''Kenya'' and George said it the right way. Howard said she also says ''El Chapo'' in a weird way. Howard said she says Ricky Gervais as Ricky ''Jer-Vay.'' Howard said Ricky says it ''Jer-vase.''
Howard took a call from a guy who said if Sal and Richard turn out to be gay would George let them be in their Sunday shenanigans. Howard said they'll have to take it one step at a time. Howard said they have to figure it out and take it from there.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's considering breast reduction surgery. She wanted to know what Howard thinks. Howard said it's wrong. He said that Robin did that and he understood what she was doing. her back hurt and things like that. The caller said that's her problem too. She said she's 5'2'' tall and 135 and she has an F-cup or a triple D depending on where she gets it. She said she has a butt too. She said she's Spanish and she's curvy. She said she thinks she's good looking too. Howard said if you're not then what's the point?
Howard said you have to be careful with the surgery. Howard said Robin went to a good surgeon and she doesn't have scars. Robin said she has some but they're very hard to see. The caller said she'll go to someone reputable. Howard said he gets it if she has to do it. Howard said maybe she can go down to a D. Robin said she would say go C-cup. The caller said if she had to use padding that would be the best. Howard said just make sure the tits come out as far as the ass.
- Why Howard Thinks Sal And Richard Might Be Gay. 12/05/16. 7:55am
Howard let the caller go and said that Sal and Richard are next. Howard said he's going to explain what's going to happen in there. Howard said Richard and Sal have been up to a lot of gay hijinx. Howard said they've been doing it for 17 or 18 years. He said he's seen some crazy stuff.
Howard asked Sal if he's on Prozac today. Sal said he's not but he is on some beta blockers. He said it's reducing some stress and anxiety. Howard said he's taking something that beats lie detector tests. Sal said he takes this stuff daily so it's not something out of the norm. Howard asked if he's afraid he's gay. Sal said no. He said he's afraid that they'll make him come off as gay.
Howard explained why he thinks Sal and Richard might be gay. He talked about the bachelor party and what they did that night. Howard said Sal masturbated into a shirt without Richard knowing about it. George gave that an ''Oh my...'' Richard said he may have got some on him. Sal said no.
Howard asked why he had to jerk off that night. Sal said he needed to decompress and think of vagina when he went to bed.
Howard said Richard also took baths with that friend in high school. He said that they would try to bite their fart bubbles.
Howard said Richard also left Will Murray sexually explicit voice mail messages when he was drunk. He touched tongues with Joey Boots. He said he watches gay porn and finds it funny. He said he continues to go to the bathroom with Sal. He said they've also painted each other's cocks. George said there are people who are pan-sexual. Howard said they would fuck a pan. Howard said Richard offered to blow Ronnie for a million bucks too. George said he would challenge their taste there. Howard said Richard also asks about callers and if they're hung.
Howard read another note about what Sal did with a friend when they were young. Howard said he might be gay. He played a song parody about Sal and Richard and why they might be gay.
Howard read more of the gay stuff that Sal is known for. Howard read some notes about gay stuff that guys can do and how they can be okay with touching penises but kissing is crossing the line. Richard said he does this stuff as a goof. Howard asked Sal if his wife is going to leave him if they find out he's gay. Sal said she's not. He said he's not gay. He said he's not even close. George said ''the lady doth protest too much.'' Sal said if he's gay then Robin is white.
Howard said the lie detector test has a needle and he's going to bury the needle. Howard said they have to find out who is gay now. Howard said they have the lighting of the penises coming up too.
Howard asked if anyone has anything to say. Sal said it's over. He said he knows how this works. He said he knows what's going to happen. Howard said Ed Torian has the questions and he's the one who will be asking. Sal said he thinks he'll send that machine out of whack. Richard said he knows that they won't believe it if he comes out as straight. Howard said he will believe it. Fred said he thinks Sal is the dark horse. He said he's very nervous about it. He said he thinks Richard will pass and Sal will fail and find something out about himself today. Robin said she thinks they're both gay.
George said he thinks Richard is pan-sexual. He said Sal is being resistant and he might be gay. George said he wouldn't be so nervous and resistant. He told him to be confident about who he is. Sal said he is and he's saying he's not gay. He told George to stop it. Robin said Sal wears makeup. Sal said that's so he looks nice.
Howard asked Gary who thinks they're gay out there. Gary said he thinks Richard will pass the test. He said there are sociopath who pass tests like that. He said Richard is the opposite of Sal. Richard said he's thinking even if he passes no one will believe him so he doesn't care.
Howard said he thinks Sal will fail. He said he's way too nervous to be straight. Howard said he knows he's gay. Sal said it's because of this show.
Howard took a call from the intern who did the research about Sal and Richard. That guy said he was straight but now he's super gay after doing the research. He said he loves being gay now. Richard asked if he's hung. The guy said he is so Richard told him to come in.
Howard said they have Ed Torian coming in next. Howard said they'll take a break and then get right to it. He did a live commercial read. During that commercial they were talking about Benjy not being in the studio and Robin's email. Robin said she cleared out her email after the discussion they had last week. Sal told Howard to give her a lie detector test about that. Howard finished up the live read and then went to break.
- Sal And Richard's Lie Detector Test With Ed Torian. 12/05/16. 8:15am
After the break Howard came right back and had played a pre-recorded announce from George Takei. George was talking about acting straight. That led to Howard talking about how they made Sulu gay in the new Star Trek movie. George said he thinks the tribute should be made to Gene Roddenberry and they were all straight in the original series. He said they should respect the creation of the man who created it. Howard said he's saying that a gay man should be able to play a straight character. George said that's right. He said that Gene was very creative and maybe create a new character that's gay.
Howard asked if he has met the new Sulu. George said he had lunch with him. He said he's very good looking. He said he's like him but young. He said it's John Cho. He said he's happily married to a Japanese American woman too.
Howard said everyone is waiting for this gay or straight thing. Howard played a bumper and then got to Ed Torian who has been at this for his entire life. Howard said that's what Ed has been doing. Ed asked if that's Howard. Ed asked how Howard is doing. Howard said he has devoted his life to finding out the truth. He said the new equipment is much improved. Ed said he has been using this for the last 5 years and it's computerized now. He said the analog and computerized are just as good as the other.
Howard said he's going to test Richard first. Richard said he can get naked of he wants to. George wanted that so Richard asked if Ed is okay with it. Ed said he can do what he wants. Richard said he shaved for this too. Howard asked Ed if he has tested for gayness before. Ed said yes. He said it's a big business. He said gays use a lot of polygraph. He said they want to make sure that the partner is who they think they are. He said they're the best people to work for.
Howard asked Ed to get in front of the microphone. He asked if he just said they're the best customers. Ed said they're easy to deal with and once you give them the results they're fine with it. He said they're easy to deal with. Ed said some people don't agree with the results but the gay people do.
Howard said they have to get Ed on microphone. He said the great Ed Torian is going to test Richard first. He said he has the questions and he has studied them. Howard said he has studied for this. Howard said they're going to find out if Richard and Sal are gay. Howard asked if Ed is ready. Ed said he just needs a couple of seconds. Robin asked if the hook up is the same. Ed said it is. He said you can see it.
Howard asked if Ed has ever tested himself for gayness. Ed said he has not. Howard asked if he's ready. Ed asked for a couple more seconds. Howard said he's reading Richard right now. Howard said Richard can hear them but they will cut them off in a second. Howard said Richard is naked right now. George wasn't able to see it. Howard said he can walk over and see it on his monitor. Howard had him come over. George took a look but he noticed Richard wasn't very excited. George told him to take his shirt off too. Howard said they can't hear George if he's standing there.
Howard said it's just cock. He said it's not that impressive either. George agreed. Richard said he's a grower. Ed said he just needs a couple more seconds. Howard said he can play a song parody. He did that while Ed prepared.
Ed was ready so Howard turned things over to him. Howard said now they'll find out if Richard is gay. Ed asked Richard if he has any gay feelings. Richard said no. Ed asked if Richard gets a boner bathing with his friend in the bathtub. Richard said no. Ed asked it again on the microphone.
Ed asked Richard if he got aroused looking at Sal's ass. Richard said no. Howard said he just scribbled fruit on his answer. Ed asked if Richard would like to lick Sal's asshole. Richard asked him to repeat it. Howard had him do it with a straight face. Ed asked it again. Richard said no.
Ed started laughing again and asked Richard if he has ever tasted his semen. Richard said no. Howard told Ed to grow up. Howard said he doesn't think Richard even believed that answer.
Ed asked if Richard has ever been aroused watching gay porn. Richard said no. Howard said there's no way that's true. Ed asked if he has ever masturbated while thinking of another man. Richard said no again. Howard said he hesitated for that one.
Ed asked if Richard has ever experimented sexually with another man. Richard said no. Howard said Richard is lying and he just came. Ed asked if he has ever had gay intercourse. Richard laughed and said no.
Ed asked if Richard has ever sexually fantasized about Howard Stern. Richard said no. Howard said he believes that. Ed laughed again and asked if Richard if he has ever achieved an erection while thinking about Sal. Howard said Ed just scribbled down ''Bullshit.''
Ed asked Richard if he finds his cock attractive. Richard said yes. Howard said of course he does. Ed asked Richard if he is turned on by his balls. Richard laughed and said no. Howard said that's a lie.
Ed asked if Richard has ever been aroused watching gay porn. Richard said no again. Ed asked Richard if he's turned on when a man shoots a big load. Richard said yes to that. Howard said that's gay that he admitted that. George said he believes that.
Ed asked Richard if he gets a boner bathing with his friend in the bathtub. Howard said some of these are asked twice. Ed asked if Richard would have liked it if during his bachelor party weekend Sal had jerked him off. Richard said no. George said Richard would have liked that.
Ed started laughing and asked Richard if he has ever been aroused sexually by the touch of another man. Richard said no. That was the last question.
Howard asked when they're going to get the results. Ed said he can do it whenever he wants. He said he can go over this and then bring Sal in. Howard said he can take a break and then he can analyze and then give them the results and then get to Sal. Ed said they can do that.
Robin suggested doing the test during the break and then get the results later. Howard asked if this is going to be very interesting. Ed said it is very interesting. He said he can see why Howard is the greatest. Richard said he was laughing during the test so he hopes that doesn't throw things off.
Howard said he'll let Ed get set up with Sal and take a break. He asked him not to laugh during the next test. Ed said he'll try.
Howard asked George what he thinks. George said he thinks Richard wasn't being very candid or forthright. Howard played some song parodies about Sal and Richard being gay. He did a live commercial read after that.
- Part 2 Of Sal And Richard's Lie Detector Test. 12/05/16. 8:45am
After the break Howard came right back and asked George to do another announce. He played another pre-recorded clip of George talking about Howard being the only man that could turn him straight.
Howard got back to Ed Torian who was set up with Sal in the green room. Howard asked Sal how he's holding up. Sal said he's doing the opposite of Richard. He said he's not going to laugh. He said he's going to be the man he is and be 100 percent straight. Howard asked if Sal was grabbing his chest during the set up earlier. Ed said he was and he's never been touched like that.
Howard said Ed has been doing this a long time. Ed said it's over 30 years. Howard said Sal has kept his clothes on. Sal said he's taking this seriously. He said he has kids. Howard said he should leave his wife if he is gay. Ed said he should. Sal said he can have his wife if he wants her.
Howard said Ed is straight but he's here to find the truth. Howard said some men must not know their inner feelings. Ed said ''To each his own.'' Howard said George used to try to hide it. George said the fire is in you and you see a gorgeous guy...
Howard said Shuli was telling him that he was peeing one day and Sal grabbed his cock. Sal said it was a joke. Howard said that's some joke. Howard asked Ed if he would kiss Sal or Richard. Ed asked if he was kidding him. Howard laughed.
Howard asked if Ed is ready now. Ed said he is. Howard had the guys get the microphone on Ed. Ed said Sal was looking at him. He had him look straight ahead.
Ed got into it and asked if Sal thinks Richard understands him better than his wife. Sal said ''Wow!'' Ed said he has to answer yes or no. Howard had Ed start over because they had microphone problems. Sal's answer was yes. Sal said that was a tough one. Howard said they have to get a second microphone on Sal in there. Howard said he has some crew out there. Howard had the guys do that before moving on.
Ed started over again. He asked Sal the same question about Richard understanding him better than his wife. Sal said yes again.
Ed asked Sal if Richard is more loving than his wife. Sal laughed and said no. Howard said he just saw smoke coming out of Ed's ears.
Ed asked Sal if he has ever thought about Richard during sex. Sal said no. Howard said he's going to flunk so bad.
Ed asked Sal if he has ever sexually fantasized about Howard Stern. Sal said no. Howard said that's a lie. Ed asked Sal if he has ever thought about having secret sex with Richard. Sal said no.
Ed asked Sal if he has ever fantasized about Fred Norris. Sal said no. Howard said we all have so that's a lie. Ed asked Sal if he finds cock attractive. Sal said no. Howard said he sees Ed laughing. Sal said he has to think about that one. Ed asked the question again. Howard said Sal's makeup is running. Sal said he finds his cock attractive so yes. Sal changed his answer to yes. Howard said he's going to be so gay. He said the kids just locked the door to the house. Howard said Ed is even shocked. He said his hair just turned white.
Ed asked if Sal is sexually attracted to Larry Caputo. Sal said no. Howard said he's lying there. Ed had a problem with the machine. One of the belts popped off of Sal. Howard said that must mean something. Howard said Sal's wife is on a plane with the kids and leaving for another country. He said that belt must have been a homophobe and popped off Sal.
Ed asked Sal if he has ever eaten his own ejaculation. Sal said yes. Everyone let out a ''Ohhh!'' Howard said he knew he was gay.
Ed asked Sal if he secretly wishes he was Howard's significant other. Sal said no. Howard said he can't wait to find out the answer to that. Howard said he thinks he was untruthful.
Ed asked Sal if he secretly wishes he were Howard. Sal said no. Howard said he saw Ed's eyes light up there. Howard said they just wanted to know the answer to that. It has nothing to do with him being gay.
Ed asked if Sal thinks Gary is a good Executive Producer. Sal said no. Ed asked Sal if he voted. Sal said yes. Howard said he bets he flunked that.
Ed asked Sal if he has said the N-word in the last year. Sal said this isn't gay stuff. Ed asked it again and Sal told Robin to cover her ears. He laughed and said ''yes.'' Robin asked when. Sal said it was for comedy purposes.
Ed asked Sal if he believes white people are smarter than black people. Sal said no. Sal said this isn't gay stuff. He said he'd rather be gay than be asked these questions.
Ed asked Sal if he believes all Jewish people are cheap. Sal said no absolutely not. Howard had Ed ask another one. Ed asked Sal if he thinks all Muslims are terrorists. Sal said no, not all. Robin said he's not telling the truth.
Ed asked Sal if he is afraid if Muslims. Sal thought for a second and said no. Howard said wait until you find out he answered falsely.
Ed asked Sal if he hates people of color. Sal said no. Howard said that's a lie. Howard asked if that concludes the test. Ed said that's it. Sal asked what that was all about. George said that he's racist. Sal said he's not... you gook. He said he was kidding of course. Howard said they have a new term for Sal. He's ''Gacist.''
Howard asked if they're going to be shocked by the results. Ed said they will be. Howard said they will take another break and get to that. Howard said he thinks Sal and Richard will be gay. He said that the only man who knows the truth is Mr. Ed Torian. Howard said he's the man behind the lie detector. George said this is a very boring lie detector test. He wanted something more erotic. Sal asked if he wants him to drop his pants too. George said yes. Sal pulled his pants down and George took a look on the monitor. George was saying that he likes that better than Richard's. Ed left the room. Howard had Sal sit down.
Howard said George just came on his back. Ed said last week he was doing mob guys and now he's doing the ''snowflakes.'' George said if Sal isn't gay he should be with that penis. Howard went to break after that.
- Sal And Richard's Lie Detector Test Results. 12/05/16. 9:10am
After the break they played a phony phone call the guys made to an internet radio show using clips of William Shatner talking about George Takei on the Wrap Up Show. They also played ''Captain Beet Juice Rogers in the 25th Century'' bit. They played Royal Blood's ''Figure it Out'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said he loves this song. Fred had Robin singing over it. Howard said she sings beautifully. He said she sings like an angel.
Howard said he's sitting there with Ed Torian who has been in the business for 30 years. He said just last week he was testing the mob and now he's testing Sal and Richard to find out if they're gay. Howard said people rely on him for the truth. He said they're all excited about this. Ed said today they have him doing snowflakes.
Howard asked if the mob guys were all straight. Ed just laughed. Howard said the first person he tested was Richard Christy. Howard said he's been doing nude, gay antics on the show for a long time now. Howard asked Richard if he has anything to say. Richard said he's straight so that's all he's saying. Howard said Ed is shaking his head.
Ed said he's glad seeing Howard again. He said it's been a long time. Howard said if it was up to him he'd have him up there every day. He said he has a lot of questions about a lot of people.
Howard asked Ed what Richard's results were about having gay feelings. Ed said he was being deceptive on that one. He said he had a big spike on that one. Howard asked about the results of the boner question. Ed said he was truthful about that. He said he was deceptive about looking at Sal's ass. Howard said he said no to licking Sal's asshole too. Ed said he was deceptive on that one too.
Howard said this is all legit. He said based on those questions he's gay. Howard asked if Richard was telling the truth about not tasting his semen. Ed said he was truthful on that. He was being deceptive about getting aroused when he watches gay porn.
Howard said they asked if he has ever masturbated while thinking of another man. Ed said he was deceptive on that one. Howard asked what the results were about experimenting with another man. Ed said he was truthful on that. Howard said it sounds like Richard is gay but hasn't tried it.
Ed said Richard was deceptive about thinking about Howard while having sex. Howard said you see what he's dealing with. George said he's ready to embrace Richard and welcome him to the club.
Howard said they asked Richard about having an erection thinking about Sal. Ed said he was deceptive with that. He said he was deceptive about being attracted to cock. He said he was truthful about the balls. He was truthful about a man's load turning him on.
Howard said holy mackerel. He played a song parody about Sal and Richard being straight yesterday but not today. Howard asked about Richard saying he didn't get a boner in the tub with his friend. Ed said he was truthful. He said he was deceptive about being turned on by the touch of a man.
Howard said he thinks that Richard is gay and he just hasn't acted on it. Robin said she thinks if Sal had offered him something on his bachelor party night he would have done it. Fred said this seems serious. He said if Sal is straight then it's going to be a major issue.
Howard asked Sal if he's going to stop the hijinx with Richard if he is straight. Sal said no. He said he's fine with it. Richard said he's fine with it all. He said he's not gay.
Howard asked why he's so far in the closet. George said he thinks he's pan-sexual and he's taught to suppress that. Howard said Richard is gay but he's so repressed he buried it. Howard said the lie detector brought it out. George said he's not saying he's gay. He said he's just very sexual.
Howard said he can't wait to hear the phone call from his dad. He did an impression of Richard's dad calling to say he just heard he's gay.
Howard said Richard is 100 percent fruitful. He asked if a lot of men lie like this. Ed said a lot of gay people are truthful. He said they're not looking to suppress anything. He said they just want to verify that their partner is truthful with them.
Howard said Richard failed 78 percent of the gay questions. He said that's proof to him. Ed said you look at Richard you can tell. He said he's smiling about it. George said he's all sex and pan-sexual.
Sal said he loves Richard and if he's gay he's fine with it. Sal said he's not worried about his test. Howard said his guess is that Sal is gay. He said he believes he has repressed feelings. Sal said he thinks he's wrong.
Howard asked if Sal is afraid his family will disown him. Sal said no. Howard said it's time to find out. Howard asked if he doesn't want to know the results. Sal said he knows he's not gay. Howard said Richard thought he wasn't gay too.
Howard said they're going to find out if Sal is gay. Howard asked Ed about the questions they asked Sal. Howard said they asked if Richard understands him better than his wife and he said yes. He was truthful according to Ed.
Howard asked about Richard being more loving and Sal saying yes. Ed said he thought he said no. Sal said he said no. Ed said he was lying. Howard said he knew he was lying about that. He said Sal has marital issues at times. Sal said it's a fine line. He said his wife is more loving than Richard.
Howard asked about the question they asked about Sal thinking about Richard during sex. He said no. Ed said he was deceptive on that one. Howard said he has thought about Richard. Sal said he hasn't. Howard said he's on drugs that should hide those answers. Sal said you can't control what you see while fantasizing about sex. He said Richard's face may have popped up during sex. He said that's not a lie. Howard said he was deceptive. Sal said maybe it has subconsciously.
Howard asked Ed about the question about Sal thinking about secret sex with Richard. He said no. Ed said he was deceptive on that one too. Sal walked out. He came back and said he needs a commercial break. Sal said get out of town with that.
Howard asked if Sal has fantasized about him. Ed said Sal was deceptive on that one so yes he has. Howard asked about the question they asked about Sal sexually fantasizing about Fred. Sal said no and he was truthful.
Howard asked if Sal finds cock attractive. Ed said he was truthful about that. Howard asked if he was truthful about Larry Caputo. Ed said he was deceptive about that one too. Howard said he knew it.
Howard said they asked if Sal has ever eaten his own ejaculate. Sal said yes and he was truthful. Howard asked about the one about him wanting to be his partner. Sal said no but he was deceptive. Sal told the truth about not wanting to be Howard Stern.
Howard asked about Sal voting and if he told the truth. Ed said he was truthful. Howard said they asked if Gary is a good Executive Producer and he said no. Ed said he was deceptive on that one. Sal said he did that to bust his balls. He said he told Gary that during the break.
Howard asked Ed about Sal saying he has said the N-word in the last year. Ed said he was truthful with that one. Howard said they asked if white people are smarter than black. He said no. Ed said he was deceptive. He said he was deceptive on the Jewish people question too. He was deceptive with the Muslim people being terrorists question too. Sal said he doesn't think all Muslims are terrorists. He said he wasn't afraid if Muslims and he was deceptive with that.
Howard said Ed's service to the show is invaluable. Howard asked if Sal and Richard want to make out. Sal said no. Robin said she thinks it'll take a couple of days to come around. Howard played a song parody about them being gay.
Robin said she's backing up the lie detector test in all of that. She said she knew Sal voted and the lie detector picked up on that. Howard asked Ed if he's holding him up from something. Ed said he's not. Howard asked if he's nervous about the gay guys around him. Ed said he's never had a guy touch him before. He said Sal did that while he was setting him up.
Howard asked what Sal thinks about being gay. George said he loves that they're both gay. Howard took a call from a woman who said she doesn't know how they're going to recover from this. She also asked Howard if he would fail that test too. Howard said he's 100 percent normal.
Howard asked Sal if he's going to tell his sons. Sal said there's no reason to. He said he's not gay. Sal said he'll tell them not to listen to the kids at school. He said his semen made them and he's not gay.
Howard said he thinks Richard is lying to himself. He said Ed Torian found them out. Howard said he has really liberated them. Ed said look at Richard smiling. Richard said he knows he's straight. George said bathing with a guy in your mid-teens he thinks it's a pan-sexual thing to do. Richard said George sure loves that term. Howard thanked Ed for coming in and testing the guys. Robin said in a few years Richard will be all the way out. Richard said in 10 years they can play this tape and find out.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who said it's so great they have a racist gay guy there. Howard said he has a guy on the phone to book them for a gay cruise. Howard took the call from one of the guys in the back who was saying it's 100 percent white cruise so Sal doesn't have to worry.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they're dancing in the streets of Chelsea to celebrate. He welcomed Sal and Richard to that and Sal to the KKK.
Howard said he didn't expect this. He said he thought one would be straight. Ed said they didn't ask them directly ''Are you gay?'' Howard said hook them up and find out. Howard said everything they asked was gay. Ed said they didn't ask directly. Howard said Richard for sure and Sal too.
Howard asked what Ed thinks. Ed said he thinks both are gay. Fred said he thinks they both have a toe in the water. Howard asked if they wanted to dance as he started the song ''YMCA.'' Sal said yes. Then they were touching Ed. Howard let Ed go and said they'll find out next if Benjy is still fat. Howard said everyone just piled out of there. Robin said there's a lot to absorb. Howard said that was exciting. Robin said she had a feeling they were gay. She said it was fascinating.
Howard said Beetlejuice just cut a new song about pussy and money. Howard said it's called ''Money, Money, Money and Pussy.'' He played the song which was beet singing that he loves money and pussy. They went to break a short time later.
- Straight George Takei Calls In. 12/05/16. 9:45am
After the break Howard came back and had George do another announce. Howard said he has straight George Takei on the phone. He picked up and he had someone doing an impression of George on the phone. He was doing work on his Corvette. Howard asked Straight George if he likes musicals. Straight George said he does but it's a great way to get women. He also said that God created Adam and Eve and not Sal and Richard. Howard asked Straight George a few more questions about gay stuff and he had all straight answers for him.
Howard asked Straight George what his childhood was like. Straight George said it was great being in the internment camp. He said it's easy to finger a girl when you're in a bed with 8 other people. Straight George asked George to look at Robin's boobs. George said he is doing it. Straight George asked Robin to jump up and down and let them jiggle.
Howard asked Straight George if he has ever bone to the Rambles in the park. Straight George asked what that is. Howard told him that's where gay men go to have sex. Straight George threw up.
Howard said he's not sure that George gets what's going on there. Howard said the guy on the phone is Straight George Takei. George said he's both. Howard let Straight George go a short time later.
George said he has to meet this George. Howard tried hanging up but Straight George kept telling Howard to hang up first. George asked if he's really there in real time. Howard said he is. It was actually pre-recorded but they told George he was live.
George said that person was very good whoever it is. Howard asked him to just have theater of the mind. George said he sees what he's doing.
- What Ever Happened To Dan Hill? 12/05/16. 9:55am
Howard said he was thinking of the guy who wrote ''Sometimes when we touch.'' Howard asked what happened to that guy. Howard said the guy was good looking and he must have gotten tons of women. Fred said his name is Dan Hill. Robin said he's a Canadian guy. Howard asked if he has to go get a regular job after that. Robin said you never even hear this song anymore. Howard said no. He said it must be tough not having another hit. Howard said he had the right look. He said he thinks Richard and Sal are blowing each other to this song.
Howard said girls were swooning over this guy. He had the song playing. He said he got a note from the guys saying he's bald now. Howard asked what you do if you have one hit song. He said you can't sustain a living. Robin said he performs in the Philippines. Howard asked why they want to see him. Robin said it must have struck a chord there. George said they love good singers there.
Howard said this was a good song. He said it was kind of wimpy. George said it's lovely. Howard said he remembers Dolly Parton saying she wishes she had written this song. Howard said it has to be devastating to have a hit song and never have another one. Howard said it must be tough to have a career and then go work in the Philippines. George said he worked on two films there himself.
- Gun Laws, Benjy's Fat And More. 12/05/16. 10:00am
George asked Howard about the legal carry gun laws that he's supporting. He said that he hopes that he supports the laws they have in New York. Howard said he didn't know they were going to get into this. Howard said he supports the second amendment. Howard said if you're a trusted person in whatever state and you get a legal carry license then it should carry over to other states.
Howard said illegal guns are carried by people who are criminals. Howard said legal guns are statistically carried by people who do things the right way. George said people are safe in New York because of the licensing they have there.
Howard said he heard that George is supporting something and he can't remember it. Gary asked if it was breast feeding. Howard said it wasn't that. He said it was Santa Claus being black. Robin said she saw that. Howard said he did too. He said that some people are against having a black Santa. George said it's racist. He said in Los Angeles they have a lot of Asian Santa. Howard said he thinks George is upset with people who are against black Santa. George said no but then yes. Howard asked where he is.
Howard had Benjy come in and said he's really gotten fat. Benjy said he's been out of the studio a few weeks. He said he was fat before but he's gained more. Benjy said he's focusing on sleep and not the eating. He said he stuffs himself before he goes to sleep. He said it does something that gets him to sleep. He said he's trying not to use drugs. Howard said you just lay there and if you sleep you sleep. Benjy said it's getting better for him. He said some day he'll be able to sleep and diet.
Benjy said when he has a good sleep he's excited about eating well but then he eats. Robin said she doesn't know what to say. George said he was hot when he was thinner.
Howard said Benjy wanted to talk to Robin about something. Howard said she had over 5000 emails in her inbox. Howard said he got a lot of tweets and comments about what he said about email last week. He said Robin says she's down to inbox zero as of this morning. Robin said she's at zero and she can unsubscribe to things she has to and take care of the things she has to.
Howard asked Benjy what his problem is. Benjy said it's not a problem. He said he found it interesting when he said Robin was looking for someone to be her parent. Robin said she didn't want Howard's help. Benjy said she was upset about it at the time. Howard said Robin hasn't had a lot of guidance in her life. Howard said she doesn't get advice. Howard said she was looking for someone to step in and give her some advice. Robin said she was not.
Benjy asked if Howard realizes he was doing the same thing for himself years ago. Howard said he does. He said he still has the need. He said it's only through shame that we neglect that need. Robin said ''What?'' Howard said we need a parent or someone to take care of us. Howard said he's filling the role for Robin.
Howard said he helped Robin a lot. He said she had over 4000 emails and now she doesn't. Howard said she doesn't like to think about it. Robin said she doesn't like Howard to be worked up about something going on with her. Benjy asked if Robin worries about Howard. Robin said of course she does. Howard asked what his point is. Benjy said he thought it was fascinating that she was calling out for a parent. Robin said she fixed it immediately because she didn't want Howard upset. Howard said he did check in with her with an email and she actually got it. Benjy asked if Robin is still calling out for a parent. Robin said not with email.
Howard said it's been great with Benjy not in the studio. Benjy said he wants George to get him back in there. Benjy asked George how many times he thinks he's been late in the last 500 shows. Howard said he doesn't know. Benjy said it's only 2. Howard asked how many times he should be late. George said they all try to be punctual. Howard kicked Benjy out of the studio. He said he was late twice since July. Robin asked how it was twice in 500 shows then. Benjy said in the last 500 show it was twice. Howard had to kick Benjy out again. Howard said George is unlucky. Anyone who sits there gets kicked out.
Howard gave George a plug for his play/movie which is going to be out for one day on the 13th. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
- The Lighting Of The Penises. 12/05/16. 10:15am
Howard said he's not sure if they're too tired for the lighting of the penises. Howard said Sal and Richard want to come in nude with Christmas lights on their penises. Howard said they are decorated with actual lights. Howard had the guys come in. George said Sal had his shirt on so he asked him to take it off. Howard said Sal needs some help with the lights on his penis. Sal freaked out when George touched it. Howard said George is going to plug in the lights now. George connected the plugs together so they lit up. George said they're all sparkly. Howard said they're all lit up like Christmas. George said they need stronger support to hold them up. Richard asked if Robin can see. Robin said she can see it perfectly fine.
Howard thanked the boys for coming in. Howard said he can't get control of the show. Sal showed George that he has a light in his butthole. Robin said the lights are falling off. Richard said he thinks George just poked him in the ass. George said he was doing something with the lights. He said it's a jolly, jolly Christmas indeed.
Howard thanked the guys for that and let them go. Howard thanked George for that too. Howard said it was very nice. Howard said they had to put on towels so they're not walking around naked there. Howard said they do this every year like clockwork. Howard said President Obama did it last year. This year it was George. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
- Howard's ''Lion'' Review, Email And More. 12/05/16. 10:20am
Howard said he saw a movie over the weekend that he'd like to recommend. He said it's called ''Lion.'' He said the performances alone are great. He said Nicole Kidman and Dev Patel are in it. He said Rooney Mara is in it too. He said they're all great. He said it's a story about an Indian boy who is adopted and he searches for his mother and sister and it was so good. Howard said he cried like a baby. George said good for him crying over a movie. Howard said why not. George said he's a sensitive soul. Howard said he sometimes loves a film and it gets bad reviews but not this one. Howard said this one was so good. He said the movie is really good. He said it didn't have zombies or super heroes and he still liked it. George said it has gotten rave reviews.
Howard said Robin went to India and turned her ass right around. He said they have an epidemic of kids on the street over there. He said he's recommending the movie because he liked it. Robin said she always likes a good recommendation.
Howard said the NAACP stands for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and some white guy said he's sick of that and he wants a WAACP for white people. He said he must have thought the N stood for something else.
Howard said he got some email about Robin and her email problem last week. Robin said she likes using AOL and that's part of the problem. Howard said just use the Apple mail service with her computer. Robin said she's never seen it. Robin said she has never bothered to go look. She said she likes AOL.
Howard said Jillian Barberie wrote about Robin's cover of the National Anthem. Howard said someone accused her of getting the lyrics wrong. Robin said they edited that song and it wasn't her. Howard played the song so George could hear it. George said she doesn't hit some of the notes. Howard asked if that's right. Howard read some more email about Robin singing. He said that's something.
- Robin's News. 12/05/16. 10:25am
Howard said it's time for some news. They played her into it with a song parody from someone named Hoates (James Cargille). Robin started her news talking about Dan Hill and what he's been up to. Robin said he's been writing songs for other people and Celine Dion did one. Robin asked if Fred could pull it up. Fred found the song and played some of it.
Robin said there's some sad news about the man who invented the Big Mac dying. Robin said he was 98 years old. Howard asked if George has ever done a McDonald's commercial. George said he has not. Howard said he must have gotten paid well for doing the Taco Bell commercial. George said it did pay well. Howard asked if he put up a lot of his own money for the musical Allegiance. George said he put up about a million. Howard said George's commercial ran during the Super Bowl. George said he watched the game just for his commercial. Howard asked if he gets free Taco Bell for the rest of his life. George said he didn't but he wishes he had.
Howard asked how long it takes to shoot a commercial. George said it was a day. He said they had a few people in it including a football player whose name he didn't know. Fred played the commercial audio.
Robin read more about the Big Mac creator who came up with it in 1967. Robin said they have a half billion servings of it in the U.S. alone. Howard said the news is the guy died but McDonald's isn't going anywhere. Howard said Jason told him he's sitting Shiva for the guy. Howard asked what his name was. Robin said it's Jim Delligatti. Howard wondered if his favorite cartoon is Baba Booey. Robin said he came up with it to grow his business at his McDonald's franchise. Robin said he owned a few franchises.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they can get a look into the studio when Robin is singing one of those songs. Howard said they will have that up on HowardStern.com soon. He said they take it very seriously. They played more of Robin singing. Howard said if George put her in his musical the fans would have come out in droves. The caller said he could have gotten his million back.
Robin read a story about Joe Walsh getting an award from the President. Howard said he watched that and it was great to see Joe getting the recognition. Robin had some audio of President Obama speaking and talking about Joe's rowdy life. Robin had some other details about the awards. Robin said this will air on CBS on December 27th.
Robin read a story about a Syrian girl whose Twitter account disappeared after she posted something about the bombings over there. Robin said the account has been deleted.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she is a big fan. She said she has to thank Howard so much for saving her life from her bipolar depression. Howard said she's not alone. Howard said most people who listen are bipolar. Howard said most importantly is she hot? The caller said she's cute. Howard asked how tall. She said she's 5'4'' and about 160. Howard said ''Okay, thank you for your call.'' Robin said he's so bad.
Robin said the man who invented General Tso's Chicken has also passed away. Howard said that is a fantastic food. He said he doesn't know who that man is but they honor him all the time. Howard said he thinks he became famous when Nixon brought him back from China. Robin said this guy created it in his restaurant when Nixon opened communications with China. Howard asked who General Tso is. Robin said we don't know. Robin said the dish was created in the 1950s and it was named after a 15th century Chinese leader.
Howard said he has a friend who took in a turkey and it's so friendly. Robin said she hears cows are wonderful. Howard said they're as smart as 3 year olds. George said there are giant carp that like to be petted and you can feed them by putting food in their open mouth. Howard said he likes not eating chicken, turkey and meat. Howard said he still eats fish though. He said Beth wants to stop that too though.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if George washed his hands after touching cock. George said he has not washed but he just got close to touching it. Howard said he saw him licking his fingers. George said Sal has a nice cock. He said he likes that it's uncircumcised. He said Brad is as well. He said he likes variety. He said it's all uncircumcised now. Howard said he's 79 years old so he has to calm down. Howard said he must have been pleased they found out Sal was gay. George said most people are a little bit of both.
Howard asked if Brad is as big as Sal. George said he's thicker. He said he was impressed with Brad's cock when he met him. He said he had a great body as well. Howard asked if he had a small cock would it have let him down. George said he was young back then so it may have. Howard asked if Brad has a pink asshole or brown. George said it's brown. He said he's losing weight and he may get his old Brad back. Howard said some guys have a pink asshole. George said he knows. Howard asked if his asshole turns him off at all. George asked if it should. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard asked if George has seen a cock that's too big. George said no. He said he's gotten used to Brad's. He said he knows how to handle that. Howard asked if he has taken it in the ass. George said they don't do that anymore. He said they have but not anymore. Howard asked what else they do. George said they can touch and do things. He said they have been together 30 years and maybe 5 years into it they stopped the anal. He said Brad didn't like the process. Howard asked why he doesn't take it in his ass. George said he likes the sucking part more than that. Howard asked if brad would put it in his ass if he asked for it. George said he might. He said he really doesn't miss the ass stuff. Howard said let him in tonight and let him know how it goes.
Howard asked if they blew each other yesterday. George said they did. Howard asked if he's on his back when he does it. George said sometimes he's kneeling and Brad is between his legs.
Howard asked if he makes up a fight when they wrestle. George said it's a sensuous wrestling. Howard asked who is more vocal. George said he probably is.
Howard asked George about doing it early on and George said he has fantasized about other men. He said he'll have to explain to Brad why he did that. He's never told him that before. George said he would fantasize that Brad was someone else. He said he never did that guy though. Howard asked about Brad's load and if things make it taste different. George said that asparagus can change it. He said it usually tastes the same.
Howard asked George if he was up for the role in Karate Kid. George said he wasn't. He said Pat Morita did a good job with that role and he's glad he got it.
Howard asked George if he blows Brad on a Sunday and he wants to do it on Monday, can he cum. George said he might but it won't be as much of a load. He asked Howard why he's so fascinated with this. Howard said if he had just put George on stage to talk about this stuff he could have made more money than Allegiance did. George said they couldn't ask elected officials come if they did that. Howard said sure they could.
Robin read a story about the Canadian cops who were threatening to use Nickelback songs to punish drunk drivers. Robin said she talked about that last week. Robin said the band is asking the police to remove that Facebook post about punishing the drunk drivers. Robin said the band has demanded that they take down that post. Howard said there was a report from Boston that this show was used to get Noriega to surrender. Howard played a clip from a news report about that. In that clip they said that when Noriega tried to escape the troops played Van Halen and Howard Stern Show clips until he surrendered. Howard said he loves that. He said he's not insulted at all.
Robin read about how there was no will for Prince's estate. Robin said there are a lot of his relatives coming forward trying to claim part of his estate.
Robin read about Dolly Parton organizing a telethon to help the people in Tennessee who were affected by the fires there. Howard said he thinks she's still upset with him. He said she's got to be in her 70s and she looked pretty fucking good to him. He said she looked kind of hot. Howard asked Fred how old she is. Fred said she's 70. Howard said she keeps her body in good shape. He said her face is pulled back like a clown but it looks good.
Howard asked George if he's had any work. George said no. He said he's 100 percent himself. He said he exercises and eats properly. Howard said he eats cum too. He said he should bottle that and sell it as a youth drink.
Robin read a story about a Southwest airline flight that had to be diverted when a passenger went into labor. Robin said someone on board helped deliver the baby. Howard asked how far along she was. Robin said they don't say. Howard said if you have a baby on a flight, do they charge you for an extra person. Robin said she doesn't know about that.
Robin said that Nestle is reducing the amount of sugar in their chocolate and not changing the taste. Robin said the new sugar allows them to lower it by 40 percent.
Robin read about how airlines charge for everything but Chuck Schumer says that United is going to start charging for luggage in the overhead bins. Robin said Schumer said if they get away with it then other airlines will follow their lead.
Robin read a story about how some people in New York think there is some gridlock that's planned to discourage people from driving in the city. Howard said he hopes that's not true. Robin said there are some who think that's going on to get people to use public transit. Howard said that would be horrible.
Howard said he was reading in the paper that there was this teenager who threw a cat out a third floor window and laughed about it. Howard said he and his wife will take it for rehab if they have to. He said it's so sad what people do with abuse. Howard said these people are on their way to being real maniacs. George said it's another life and to be so cruel is wrong. Howard said they're angry. George said there are sick people in this world. Robin said that person may have been mistreated as well. Howard said he's willing to do something if they need help with it. Robin said there is a woman who made sure to follow up about the cat. Howard said he heard that teen still had AOL and she had over 5000 emails in her inbox. Fred played a modem dialing sound and the ''You've Got Mail'' clip.
Robin read a story about a fraudulent American embassy in Ghana that was just closed down.
Robin read about how Parkinson's disease may be starting in the gut and not in the brain. Robin read the details of that story.
Robin read a story about pumping iron after 60 and how it is different than when you're younger. Robin said that they say that they're as large and strong as a 40 year old. Howard asked what his problem is then. George said you should keep it up. Howard asked if George worries about how much time he has left. George said he's Buddhist so he doesn't worry. He said his grandmother lived to 104 so he's looking at that as a goal. Howard said that's still only 24 years. Howard asked if he fears death. George said no. He said if it's going to happen it's going to happen.
Robin read a story about a fire that wiped out a warehouse in Oakland, California. Robin said 33 bodies have been found in the wreckage. Robin had some audio of the mayor talking about telling the families about their loss.
Robin read a story about Saturday Night Live continuing to be social commentary on the President Elect. Robin said once again they opened the show with Alec Baldwin doing his Trump impression. Robin had a clip from the show. Robin said Trump didn't appreciate Saturday Night Live once again. He tweeted that he just tried watching Saturday Night Live and it was unwatchable and totally biased. He thinks the Baldwin impression can't get any worse. Howard said he's going to drive himself crazy if he keeps watching this. George said he thinks he's going to get impeached and his term won't be that long. He said the trouble with that is then they get President Pence.
Robin read a story about Mike Pence talking about Trump stepping in to stop another company from moving to Mexico. Robin had some audio of Pence talking about that.
Robin read a story about a new Neil Diamond album that's coming out. She had a clip to play. Robin had a new Pentatonix song too. Howard had a Robin singing clip too. Robin had other Christmas songs that were out. Howard said they all sound the same. Howard would play a clip and then turn it right off. Robin had a bunch of clips that Howard would play and cut off.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.