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-- Monday, March 25, 2019 --

  • Back Live - Book Promotion Planning. 03/25/19. 7:00am
    Show opening bits and songs included: A phony phone call Richard and Sal made to a Tradio show using clips of Ronnie and other show guests to answer a trivia question, a Asian Pete and Marfan Mike sing the hits commercial parody, Smash Mouth performing ''Walkin' On The Sun'' at a special Howard Stern Show live event at the Playboy mansion.

    Howard was back from his week long vacation this morning. He started the show talking about how they're back after their vacation and it was nice. He said he's in a crappy mood because he slept like a baby during vacation but then he was up at 2 in the morning last night. He said he can't continue on anymore. He said he has this book coming out and then he should just leave. He said he's so cranky. Robin said she was thinking that he gave her a Luke warm greeting. Howard said he's in a bad mood. He said he was glad to see her but he didn't show it. He said his psychiatrist says the same thing. He said he's not sure what to do.

    Howard said he'll snap out of it by hour 3 or so. He said he's not drinking coffee anymore. He said he doesn't have that stimuli anymore.

    Howard said he was sent this TV show called The Warrior. He said it's on Showtime. He said he's all caught up in that. He said he was watching that show on Showtime that he liked. Robin was trying to figure out what it was. Jason said it was Banshee. Howard said that's it. He said The Warrior is a Chinese dude and the story was written by Bruce Lee. Robin said she heard he wrote stuff like that. Howard said this guy has super powers like Superman but with Karate. He said he beats people up with his feet. He said there's a lot of fucking in it. He said it's R-rated kind of sex. He said they have titties and simulated fucking and all of that. He said he likes simulated fucking.

    Howard said he was up last night watching the show. He said here are only 8 episodes and he's up to 7. He said he loves kung fu. He said he should have studied it. He said that he can't even sleep on his side anymore. He said some guy died close to his age and someone told him about that. He said that's why he wrote Howard Stern Comes Again. He said that people asked if he doesn't already have enough money. Howard said this is how he gets his information out. He said it's already number 1 on Amazon. He said the book comes out on May 14th. He said he was on the phone the whole vacation figuring out the plan for publicity. He said he's being a real pain in the ass about it.

    Howard said he has to figure out what morning show to do. He said he's very honored that almost every show wants him on. He said Today and Good Morning America want him. He said CBS does too. He said he's doing CBS Sunday Morning. He said he can't do that much stuff though. He said he's not 14 anymore.

    Howard said he's on the phone with these guys and it comes down to George Stephanopoulos saying he wants to interview him for Good Morning America. He said they want him to commit to one or the other first. He said he'll do both.

    Howard said the late night shows are even worse. He said they all want him. He said he told Kimmel he's not going out to see him. He said he felt horrible about that. He said he's just not going to California. He said maybe he'll go out there in the fall. He said he's not sure what to do. Robin said don't feel bad for making a decision.

    Howard said he loves Fallon and Colbert and he doesn't want to insult anyone. He said he's going to flip a coin about which show to do. He said he's going to do that right now. He said he loves both of those guys. Howard said heads is Jimmy and tails is Colbert. Howard said he's flipping right now. Howard said he loves both Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert. He said he loves Kimmel too. He flipped the coin and it came out as tails so he's doing Colbert first. He said he'll do Fallon later and do a skit on the show.

    Howard said Kimmel told him he should forget about all of them and just sit down with disgraced journalists. He said that's a great idea.

  • Olivia Jade Discussions. 03/25/19. 7:10am
    Howard said he fell in love with this Olivia Jade's blog. He said he watched every episode of her blog. He said she's really cute and she's like every girl in high school he couldn't fuck. He said she's so cool. He said this is Lori Loughlin's kid he's talking about.

    Howard got sidetracked and gave Fred his coin back. He said he's doing this publicity to get the word out about the book. He said that no one has guessed who his favorite interview of all time is. He said he put his dedication at the end of the book. He said he doesn't want to give spoilers.

    Howard said he wanted to talk about this Olivia Jade. He said this mother Lori Loughlin really ruined this kid. He said that father did too. He said the two of them are such assholes. He said he heard Olivia Jade is upset with her parents over this. He said she didn't' want to go to college. He said you'd ask your kid what you want to do then .HE said she was raking in between a million and two a year doing the blog. Robin said she had a new line with Sephora. She said it sold out immediately and then they dropped her over this.

    Howard said he was watching this vlog of her's and she does all kinds of lessons on makeup and she does fashion shows and stuff. He said he's mesmerized by this girl. He said she's doing stuff where she shows what she got for Christmas and stuff. He said she got a Christmas gift from her tutor. He wondered why that happens. He said it's supposed to be the other way around.

    Howard said this kid has such a charmed life. He said just watch her videos. He said he's an expert on her now. He said on her first day of college Amazon sent her everything for her dorm room. He said she goes through everything in the room. He said it's courtesy of Amazon. He said they just sent her this shit. He said she's getting all kinds of free stuff.

    Howard played some audio of Olivia Jade talking about the stuff she got for free from Amazon. He said she went to Tahiti the first week of school and she was having such a charmed life. Robin said she was on a yacht and it was owned by a member of the board of trust for USC at one point. Howard said she had a business empire and her parents fucked it all up. Robin said she could be teaching school.

    Howard said her parents blew the whole deal. He said she was making 1-2 million a year and they blew it. Howard said he's jealous of her. He said he's not sure she's had a bad day in her life. He said he wishes he didn't wake up miserable every morning. He said he's not sure why they forced her to go to college. He said she had something good going.

    Howard said he doesn't even know what to say. He said he's so angry over this. He said he hopes that Olivia Jade somehow forces her way through this and gets back to her vlog. Robins said you know she knows what her parents did. Howard said of course she did. He said she even said she's an idiot. Robin said she had to know what they did with the pictures and all of that. She knew they were faking it all for her. Howard asked if she can divorce her parents. Robin said if you let your parents do that you can't just blame them.

    Howard said this kid was so successful that she had an assistant at school. He played a clip of her talking about the assistant. Howard said she had an assistant! He said she had it all going on. He said she's working it. Robin asked what she was going to major in. Howard said she was a communications major. He said she already wrote the book on communications. He said she knew what to do. Howard said she had 2 million viewers. She already knew what to do. Robin said that's why she said she could have been teaching.

    Howard said check her out. He said it's fascinating. Howard said it's super. He said there's nothing better than a woman trying on clothes. He said he loves that. He said he's still pretty sexed up. He said he tapes Fallon, Kimmel and Colbert. He said the only interviews he watches are the hot chicks. Robin said this is a sad thing for him. She said he could be getting important information but this is what he's doing. Howard said he doesn't want that. He said he watched Mandy Moore because she adopted one of Beth's kittens. He said she was doing an interview and he liked that. He said that someone in Vegas had a cat and Mandy ended up adopting it.

    Howard said they're going through a thing now with a cat who is blind and has cancer. He said someone just threw her out. He said they're trying to save her.

    Howard said this is his life. He said he watches Olivia Jade for like 4 hours. He said he stopped painting to watch her. Howard said JD is a fan of her's too. JD said he didn't want to be but she's entertaining. He said he's not into that kind of thing but she looks good and she knows how to edit the videos.

    Howard said he likes her try on day. JD said he likes going through a day in her life. Howard said she has cool friends and it's like everything they weren't. Howard said she's like the belle of the ball. Howard said he hated himself for liking it. JD said he's trying to have a better attitude over things like that.

    Howard said Beth would come in and ask what he was doing. He said she'd always catch him watching Olivia Jade. He said she's much more likeable than the Kardashians. JD said she's self aware about certain things. He said it's endearing in a way. Howard said she opens her gifts and says she's embarrassed by it. Howard said Olivia seems like a sweet kid and she didn't know the right word to say for Sarong and she had to go ask her mom. He said he liked that. He said they have to get that back up.

    Howard said all of her sponsors left her so maybe she can't do the vlog anymore. Robin said when you are part of the cheating should you really be able to get more sponsors. Howard said maybe not. He said he might have to put her on Howard 101. Robin said she could probably do very well there. She said she's pretty sure she knew her parents were fudging all of that. JD said she was just going along with it. Robin said that's not the right thing to do. Howard said she did beg them not to go to college. Robin said she could have gotten into a community college. Howard said she might not have been able to do that.

    Howard said she had 10 minutes to get to class on time and she ended up being late to class. Howard played a clip of her vlogging about that.

    Robin said that Kathie Lee and Hoda were talking about her and said that they hope Lori turns off her social media so she doesn't have to see all of this. She said she found that odd. Howard said that's Kathie Lee.

    Howard said it's hard to get motivated to go back to school after all of this. Howard said he has a good clip of her talking about not vlogging at her class so she did some fashion week stuff instead. Robin asked how long she stays in class. Howard said they have to figure that out from these videos.

    Howard played a clip of Olivia Jade talking about why she goes to college but doesn't film the classes. She said she thinks that would be boring to show that. She said she focuses on the friends and stuff like that. She said that she has a call with Treseme so she had to go do that.

    Howard said she's super hot. He said she's living the hot chick life. Robin said that should be useful. Howard said she's majoring in friends and minoring in parties. Robin said she should have been given credit for that.

    Howard said in one video she used a Sarong to use to cover herself up and then as a scarf. He said she knows how to do both. He said he's fascinated by that. Robin said a lot of people don't know how to tie a scarf. Howard said he had to take a class on that.

    Howard took a call from a guy who asked if this angers him because he had to work his ass off to get where he is. Howard said of course it does. Howard said she wouldn't have looked at him for 10 seconds in school. Howard said of course this stuff bothers him. He said everything bothers him.

    Howard said this kid had a business going. He said she wasn't hurting anyone. He said her parents had to fuck it all up. Robin said the Kardashians didn't waste their time with college. Howard said they didn't need to. Howard said Lori Loughlin is such a phony. He said she's on some show being interviewed and her daughter is sitting there. He said she's talking about being a mom and saying she never pressured her children to do things and always gave them time to play and discover their imagination. He said she was on Full House and she now thinks she knows all about child psychology. He said fuck you. Robin said she talked a lot about her kids going to school and things like that.

    Howard said John Stamos made an appearance in one of her videos. He said she had one of her cool friends there with Stamos too. He said you can tell Stamos was totally annoyed with her male friend. He said she even had game shows going on there.

    Howard said Felicity Huffman's kids aren't getting any attention. Gary said they had a piece on her being on Desperate Housewives and they must have made an intern go back to find her asking someone of they were looking for a bribe on the show.

    Howard said while he was working on his book promotion stuff he was busy with Olivia Jade's vlog.

  • Emilia Clarke's Brain Aneurysms. 03/25/19. 7:40am
    Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Millie Bobby Brown will be getting into college like this. Howard asked if he's doing Night at the Improv or something. He said he's not going to do impressions for the guy. He said if he was going to do that he'd be talking about the Khaleesi. He said that she came out with a story about her mystery illness. He said that Tim Stack said he might have to have the agent talk about that on the show. Howard said he wants that article to read. He said this Khaleesi, after season one, she had not one but two brain aneurysms and almost died. Robin said Howard was screaming at her to take off her top. Howard said maybe that ruined everything for her.

    Howard went into his agent voice and talked about Emilia Clarke. He said the same agent represents her and Millie Bobby Brown. He did that impression for a minute talking about how great this mystery illness is for her career.

    Howard read the article about Emilia and how she had this really bad headache. She said that she had to get down into a plank position and she felt a bad headache. she pushed through the pain to work out. Howard said these guys push you so hard that you have that happen. Howard said they did an MRI and found a Subarachnoid hemorrhage. Howard had some trouble getting that out. Howard went back into his agent voice talking about that.

    Howard asked if that was good for the caller. The caller said that made his day. Howard got back to the article about Clarke and read more about what she went through with the brain surgery and all of that. He said she was only 24 years old when that happened. Robin said everything was just coming together for her.

    Howard did his agent voice talking about how they had it made and then this happened. He said she was just 24 years old. He said he thought he was going to have a hot Rosemary Kennedy or something. He spent a couple of minutes doing the impression for Robin. He was talking about how awful it would have been if she had ended up like that. The Agent said that he had to protect his investment there. He was going on and on about how he had to give the doctors a pep talk about how men are supposed to drool over her and not the other way around.

    Robins said they had to do the second operation twice. The Agent said she pulled through it all. He said her whole skull is titanium. He said this is what he has to do. He said he made sure that the helmet was on the inside. He said he had to protect his investment like that. He didn't know what kind of condition she was going to be in. He said she could have been finger painting with her own menstrual blood for all he knows.

    Robin said the Enquirer had the story 6 weeks after but they denied it. The Agent said that they had to protect her privacy. He said she he told the doctors that if they messed up he'd be living off 15 percent of a Walmart greeter's salary. He said that he was afraid he was going to be representing a turnip with tits. Robin said she's glad he let them in on what's going on behind the scenes. Robin asked if she had trouble remembering her lines. The Agent said he was thinking they had a Zucchini with jugs. He said he's laughing now but he was crying then. He said thank god Emilia is doing alright now. Robin said she says she's 100 percent now. The Agent said that when she first came out of it she thought the bedpan was a sandwich.

    Robin asked if there are any strange behaviors there. The Agent said there aren't. He said she's fine now. He said they're going to have a great season of Game of Thrones. He said it was touch and go there for a while. He said her tits are perky as ever too.

    The fake Agent said she had a rapid recovery. He said the doctors know what they're doing. He said she's a terrific gal. Robin said she remembers him saying that Millie is a terrific kid too. The Agent said she is. He said they're going to go long term with her. He said they want to get her into a teen kind of movie next. He said they thought they were going to have to dump Emilia after this brain thing. He said you just stop taking their calls. He said he was thinking he was going to be representing Beetlejuice now. He said you don't know how it's going to end up.

    The Agent said that Emilia was dating a bowling ball there for awhile after the aneurysm. Robin said Game of Thrones is ending. The Agent said he knows that. He said she's going to have a good career. He said if she doesn't he'll just dump her. He said he's just kidding.

    The Agent said that he went to see her in the hospital and it was like 2 hours after the operation. He said she was coming her hair with a slice of pizza. He said he thought she was really messed up. He said he walked in with Peter Dinklage. He said he has an agent who he's worked with a long time so he can't represent him. He said Khaleesi turned to him and thought he was a table lamp and tried to turn on his light.

    The Agent said he brought her a bouquet of flowers and he just took them from another patient. The Agent said he has to go because he has a television interview to do.

    Howard came out of the agent impression and said that's a cold hearted guy. He said he has to take a break. He said he'll come back and do something. He said that guy called in asking him to do the voice. He said sure he'll do that. He asked if there are any other requests. He said he'll come back and play a Howard Stern Comes Again phony phone call. He said he had a thought to make calls using that book name and Richard and Sal came up with a winner. They went to break after that.


  • New Phony Phone Call And More. 03/25/19. 8:10am
    After the break Howard came right back and Fred was playing a Rolling Stones song. Howard said he spent a lot of time listening to Lithium on Sirius this weekend. He said he was working out to it in his home gym. He said he doesn't have a bit of muscle on him. He said he has a soft sculpted tittie now. He said he used to have a chest. He said he's a mess. Howard asked what song this is. Fred said he'll look for a different version. Howard told him to forget about it.

    Howard took a call from a guy who was calling from Maine. Howard said he wants to go up there to paint. He said he's heard about people who do that up there. Robin said there was something called a bloom bomb that happened out in the west. She said he should go out there.

    The caller asked if he watched the biopic about Motley Crue. Howard said he actually did. He said he mentioned it. He said it's called The Dirt and it's good. He said he's not really into the band but the movie was good. He said he liked it. He said he watched the whole thing all the way through. The caller said he thought it was pretty good too. He said it represented the era pretty well. Robin said she'll have to check it out. Howard said it's a fun movie. He said it's just frivolous.

    Howard said Richard loved it too. Gary said there's some backlash against the movie. He said that's what it was back then and people are upset with the way they show the sex happening. Howard said Van Halen had a fuck room under the stage. Richard came in and said he loved the movie. He said he knew at the beginning that it was going to be great when the woman squirted across the room. He said the guy who plays Tommy Lee was really good.

    Howard said he has to congratulate Sal and Richard on this phony phone call they made to promote the book. Richard said they kept promoting the book the rest of their show. Howard said Sal calls in doing his impression of him. He said it hardly matters if he sounds like him or not. He said they're all excited about it and they listen to his plugs. Howard said Sal reads them a part of the book that doesn't really exist. Howard said he mentions Ralph from the book.

    Howard played the call that the guys made. They had Richard call into the show and he mentions Howard has a book coming out. He said Howard is there next to him so he put him on the phone. Sal did his impression of Howard and read an exclusive excerpt from the book. It was a sexual encounter with Ralph that he was reading. The hosts hung with it even though it was very graphic. They let Howard go and the hosts plugged the book after he got off the line.

    Robin said they are crazy. Howard said they are promoting. Robin said the guy says he's a big fan but he doesn't know that's not really him. Howard said that's a steamy passage from the book. He said that's an actual passage from the book. Robin said he didn't even question that he came out of the closet with that.

    Howard congratulated Sal and Richard on that. Howard asked where that airs. Richard said it's on the internet. He said they did have ads on the show. Howard let Richard go after that. He forgot his name. He said thanks to the show for the plugs.

    Robin said it seemed like some of the women were getting turned on by it. Howard said he's not sure if they were turned on or annoyed. He went to break after that. - As Seen on Howard Stern

  • Howard Planning His Trip To Italy. 03/25/19. 8:30am
    After the break Fred was playing Foy Vance's ''Be With Me'' as they were coming back. Howard said he likes this guy. He said Ed Sheeran turned him on to this guy. He said Ed told him to check him out and he did. He said he's good.

    Howard said the guy isn't that well known. He said it's weird. He said he can sing and play guitar. It's pretty awesome.

    Howard asked if Fred loves that. Fred said he has that on his own iPod. Robin said that's something to get into Fred's iPod. She said it's amazing he has an iPod. Fred said he actually has it on his phone. He said he just calls it an iPod. He said he has it on so many devices he can't keep track. Howard said he has so many devices that nothing works. He said he has a whole network of stuff and nothing ever works. He said his I.T. guys are constantly working on stuff for him. He said he ash to simplify and get his shit together.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said it's great to be able to talk to a Hollywood elite like him. He said he's rubbing himself thinking about Robin too. The caller said they have to talk about Ronnie's movie .Howard said he ran across an old Kurt Angle video where he came on to Robin. Robin said she had forgotten about that. She said he was crazy though. Howard said it was so cute. He said he read her a poem. Robin said women don't like that unless you're a poet.

    The caller said that he watched ''The Week Of'' and he fast forwarded to Ronnie's part. He said you can see Ronnie talking to himself in that scene. Howard hung up on him and said he's not sure where he's going with that.

    Howard asked if he should pick up on Mariann. He asked her to speak in a normal voice. Mariann said she's been on the show for almost 20 years and a listener for 27. She said that dreams do come true. She said that they played her first time in the studio last week. Mariann asked Howard to talk about the book and some of the stuff about the interviews. Howard said he doesn't want to give away too many details. He said it's in pre-sale right now. He said he still has to go do promotion.

    Mariann had some ideas for him but Howard had to hang up. He said she won't let him answer. He said he has to hang up on her because of that. They played a song parody about Mariann. Howard said that was Daniel Mendelson singing that. He said he does a good Mariann impression.

    Howard said he can't converse with Mariann. Robin said she just has so much to get out.

    Hard said people were congratulating Jimmy Kimmel for getting him to go to Italy. He said that he did get him to go there. He said he hasn't gone yet but he will be going. He said that he was planning that trip out with Jimmy and his wife. He said they're trying to plan this trip to Italy. Robin said that's cool. Howard said he goes back and forth about it. He said he loves being with Jimmy and his wife. Robin said he will have fun. Howard said he gets nervous.

    Gary asked if they're going to do tourist stuff or just hang out in a villa. Howard said he's doing touristy things. He said there are a lot of things he wants to do over there. He said he'd rather be home though. He said he has all of his stuff there. Howard said he wants to go see some sights over there. He said he's not going to Rome though.

    Howard said Sal was telling him not to wear jewelry over there. He said that's the shit that scares him. Gary said he's from New York so just use your head. Sal said there are kids on Vespas and they'll cut off your finger to get the ring if they see it. Robin said they told her that in Columbia and in Rome.

    Howard said Sal said don't leave Beth alone. Robin said that's true. She said that Italian men are completely inappropriate. Sal said they make eye contact and they end up floating away. He said you have to be careful over there. Robin said Howard isn't going to be on a bus. Howard said he's planning the whole thing.

    Sal said they also have menus for the tourists with different prices. He said they jack up the prices for the tourists.

    Gary said he's been there four times. He said just use your head. Howard said that's not going to help. Gary asked if he's going to walk around with his wallet hanging out of his wallet in New York. He said just do the same thing over there. Howard said he knows what to do.

    Howard said they're going to two places and they have it all worked out. He said it should be very nice.

  • Mike Pearlman's Shooting Story. 03/25/19. 8:40am
    Howard said he wanted to mention something about this shooting in New Zealand. Howard said one of the guys got shot. Gary said this is Mike. Howard said this guy got robbed. He said his name is Mike Pearlman. Howard said he wants to get him on the air to talk about it.

    Howard said Gary is funny with the wallet hanging out thing. He said he thinks he can figure that out. They played a song parody with Gary's throat clearing to the tune of ''Baby Shark.'' Howard said that's Phlegmy Shark.

    Mike Pearlman came in and Howard said he heard he was shot. Mike said that was years ago. He said he's been working here for about 5 years. He said this was way before he was there. Mike said he was coming out of a diner and two guys were waiting for him at 5 in the morning. He said one guy had a mask on and a gun out. He said he was getting in his car and the guy was trying to rob him. He said he said fuck you to the guy when he asked for his money. Howard said he's a real man. He said he didn't know he was a real man like that. Howard said he would have handed over his money and complimented his mask.

    Howard asked Mike what happened next. Mike said he was getting in his car and he was about to close his door. He said the guy shot him in the side of his chest. He said it went through his lung and stomach and into his liver. He said he drove after that. He said the guy ran away and the other guy stood there. He said the guy must have been in shock. He said he was going to go after them. He said he drove about 10 feet and he had trouble breathing and passed out. He said he was with a buddy and the guy called an ambulance.

    Howard asked if he felt like he was dying. Mike said he did. He said that his buddy was sitting in the car. He said that the guy didn't even try to take anything after shooting him. Howard said he needs a security guy like this. mike said they caught the guy's partner that night and then he ratted out his friend. He said that he ran off and they were able to catch that guy. He said his accomplice was the one who turned him in.

    Howard asked if the guy went to jail for a long time. Mike said he's sure he got some time. He said he's not sure what happened to him.

    Howard asked if he thinks he shot him because he didn't want to look dumb to his friend. Mike said probably. Howard went through the story again and asked what the pain was like. Mike said he has a vague memory of it but it's like a burning feeling. He said it feels like a burning inside your body. Robin asked if he knew he was shot right away. Mike said it happened so quick that it's such a shock you don't know what happened. He said you have to take a second to process it.

    Howard asked if he's still fucked up from it. Mike said he's okay now. He said he was in an induced coma for a while. He said they have to do that so your body doesn't over work. Robin said that was a lot of organ damage. Howard asked how big the gun was. Mike said it was a .38. He said he got hit sideways and it went in one way and hit a bunch of things in there. He said it went in at an angle. Robin said he had to have operations on his lung, stomach and liver.

    Howard asked if he's still messed up inside. Mike said he's doing okay. He said he was just 19 at the time. He said that he didn't want to give up his money. He said he was in the hospital when the guy was in court.

    Howard said Ronnie is out there making fun of his story telling ability. Howard said Ronnie is an on air expert now. Howard said no offense to him but he doesn't tell a good story either. He said he thought Mike did a good job.

    Ronnie came in and said he just said the way he was telling the story was funny. He said it's fucking Shuli coming up with this bullshit. He said he just said that he's some story teller. He said that's all it was. He said some of the shit just came out weird. Howard asked if he's funny. Ronnie said he's telling it like he's John Gotti. Mike said Ronnie is dressed in all black and he's calling him John Gotti.

    Shuli came in and told Howard how Ronnie said this line. He said he said ''Wow. He's some story teller.'' Howard asked how good a job he did on the air. Ronnie gave him a 10 out of 10. He said he didn't have a problem with it. Howard said he came in nervous because this is his first time on the air. He said Ronnie wasn't perfect on the air either. Ronnie said he was watching his face on the TV and he thought it was funny. Shuli said that Ronnie isn't a great story teller. He said it was funny to hear this come out of him because of that.

    Howard said this guy took a bullet and lived. He said he even went after the guy. Mike said that only lasted 10 seconds.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie should watch himself. He said the only thing Ronnie has ever taken is a dildo in his ass.

    Howard took a call from Ralph who said this guy has never been on the air before. He said Ronnie has to give him a break. Ronnie said Ralph calls in with his damn comments all the time. Ralph said Ronnie goofs on Howard and Robin too. He said that he's getting carried away with himself. Howard said maybe he is because of his social media fame and his NASCAR stuff.

    Howard took a call from a guy who asked what Ronnie would have done in that situation. Ronnie said you can't answer that kind of question. Howard asked if Mike should have handed over his wallet. Ronnie said he's not sure he would have told the guy to go fuck himself. Shuli said that Ronnie wouldn't have put up a fight. Ronnie said he probably would have given him his wallet.

    Howard said if he sees a guy with a mask he's giving up his wallet. Shuli said he was robbed and the guy didn't have a weapon at all. He said he just gave him his wallet.

    Ronnie asked if Mike was drunk that night. Mike said he was out for the night. He said they went to a strip club that night. He said that was out in Hempstead. He said they did that and then they left there and went to the diner. He said that's where this kid was.

    Shuli said Ronnie didn't like the story until he went to the strip club. Ronnie said that's the way it should be. Howard said this is like Ronnie teaching class for him.

    Howard asked Mike what it was like when he said fuck you. Mike said he told the guy to go fuck himself and the guy stood there and then shot him on the side. He said they leave your car there the next day and his buddies saw his car there. He said they can't touch the car so the car was left running for hours. He said his buddies saw it there running with the crime scene tape.

    Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie can't take anyone else getting attention there. He said he's there talking shit about him. Ronnie said he wasn't talking shit. He said that's just what Shuli said. Howard said this guy thinks that he wants attention. The caller said that's what he thinks. Howard said maybe that's what's going on there. He said Ronnie is the tough guy on the show and now mike is the one getting attention.

    Fred was doing his Ronnie Puppet thing while this was going on. He was adding his own comments to the whole thing.

    Howard asked Mike if the bullet or Ronnie's critique was more painful. Mike said that wasn't so bad with Ronnie. Ronnie said he didn't say anything bad about the story. Shuli said it was the way he said it.

  • Ronnie Vs. Bobo Car Race. 03/25/19. 9:00am
    Howard said he's not sure if they want to get into it but Bobo has been calling all week about racing Ronnie. Ronnie said any time they want he's ready. Bobo was on the phone and said that he's going to beat him off the line. Ronnie said it's not a drag race. He said he's going to wipe his ass all over the track. Howard said they have to do this. Ronnie said they're willing to do the whole thing at Pocono. He said there are people who want to pay to see this. Bobo said it has to be equal horsepower. Ronnie said it'll be the same cars. Shuli said they should make Bobo take off that toupee if he loses.

    Bobo was talking away from the microphone in his phone. Shuli told him he has to talk into the phone. Bobo said he's not doing anything different.

    Howard said Bobo was calling and asking about the big race and if they're going to fly him in and put him up in a hotel. Howard said he didn't know what race they were talking about. Bobo said Ronnie brags that he's going to beat him. Ronnie said he is going to beat him.

    Howard said he has to understand some stuff about racing. He wasn't sure how many laps they should do or anything like that. Ronnie said they should do 2 laps at least. He said the track is 2.5 miles. He said they can do time trials. Howard said they could do 2 laps in the same car. That way they don't have to worry about crashing.

    Howard asked how fast you can go on that track. Ronnie said he's gone 170 in a NASCAR class car. Bobo said he has to do the training if Ronnie did it. Howard asked if he knows how to drive. Bobo said of course he does. Howard said Bobo is calling up every minute with this race but as soon as they say 170 he says he has to have special training. Bobo said he'll do it without the training. Bobo said that he has to keep that in mind that Ronnie has had training. Howard said his toupee could fly off at that speed. Robin said they'll have to wear helmets. Howard said he thinks that he's ready to see this. Ronnie said bring it on. Bobo repeated that.

    Shuli said one time Ronnie did something in his pace car and he's not sure he can go that fast. He said it's not a slam dunk win for Ronnie. Ronnie said there he goes again.

    Bobo asked if Ronnie came in last in that rally he did. Ronnie said that's because they took a wrong turn and got lost. He said he's doing it again this June. He said he won't be with Goldberg this year. He said he's going to be with Kurt Busch. Howard said that's his boyfriend. Ronnie said both of them are going to drive. He said they're going to finish up in Austin. Howard said he bets he won't get lost this time. Ronnie said Kurt doesn't care.

    Gary said that Ronnie has been tweeting a lot about Kurt today and he's yelling at people to get their facts straight. Ronnie said he's racing for a new team and someone got on and said he'd driving for his job. He said they think he won't have a job next year if he doesn't do that. He said he's already turned the team around this year. Howard said he has some way of telling a story. Ronnie said he was talking about the commentator. Shuli said this is why it was so funny that Ronnie complained about the way someone tells a story.

    Howard said he's really interested in this race now. He said they have to make it happen. Howard asked how fast Bobo has gone. Bobo said he has gone fast on a drag strip. He said he has to get privy to the track. Ronnie asked why he's saying he can beat someone if he's never done it. Bobo's phone was out of whack again. Howard asked what is up with his phone connection. Bobo said he's right there. Shuli said Bobo drags it down his face and doesn't realize it. Bobo said it's right there now. Howard said now it's fine. He said he can't seem to figure it out.

    Shuli said he's probably looking around to see if anyone knows he's on the phone. Bobo said he's in an undisclosed area right now.

    Howard asked what Bobo wants with this if he wins. Bobo said he has to let him evaluate him in the limo. Ronnie said he's fine with that. Bobo said if he has to take off his hair system then Ronnie has to shave his head. Howard said Ronnie doesn't care because he thinks he'll win. Ronnie said he'll get a crew cut but not shave it. He said if he loses he'll let Bobo shave his head.

    Howard said Mike can fire off the gun to start the race. Howard said he's going to make this race happen. He said he loves how Bobo gets away from the microphone and it goes out of phase.

    Howard told Mike he's a real man for taking that bullet. Ronnie kept commenting every time Howard said something to him. Howard asked why he has to say something.

    Howard asked if Mike has a scar. Mike ended up showing Howard the scar. Howard said he's in good shape. He said that Ronnie has the body of Dean Cain. Ronnie said you can't beat that. Howard said Mike is a tough guy. He said he's not sure he'd recommend telling a guy to go fuck himself when he's holding a gun.

    Howard asked Mike if he takes classes for like Karate. Mike said he has. He said the last time he was in a fight was after he got out of the hospital. He said he got out and he had drains on him. He said they gave him this drain with the wire coming out. He said it was a bag to collect it. He said that was horrible. He said he was getting into fights with that still hanging off. Howard said that's a real man there. Fred Ronnie said he has a drain pipe in his ass. He said he's a real man. Howard said he didn't say he wasn't a real man.

    Howard thanked Mike for coming in with that story. He said it must be painful. Mike said it was alright. Howard thanked the guys for coming in. He wrapped up and let them go before going to break.


  • Email And Phone Calls. 03/25/19. 9:25am
    After the break Fred played Charlotte Lawrence's ''Sleep Talking'' as they were coming back. Howard came back and said he loves that song. He said that is Christa and Bill Lawrence's daughter Charlotte. He said she's a very talented kid. He said she wrote that song. Howard said he has to write a song. Robin said he did. She asked where that guy went. Howard said Mark went into hiding. He said Mark Ronson quit. Gary said he has an update for him after the show. Howard said he's not sure how he's going to turn that into a song.

    Howard said this is the Howard Stern Comes Again song. He played a song about his new book.

    Howard said people are complaining that they can't find the book. He said it's just in pre-order right now. He said it's not out until May 14th. Robin said she went on Amazon and they recommended it to her. Howard said they did that for him too.

    Howard read some email about the book cover and how good he looks on that. Howard said he isn't good looking. He said he has an angle that he looks good at. He said that Andrew Eckles shot that cover and he knows the angle to shoot him at. He said you can see that on their app.

    Howard said what's burning up the app is the R. Kelly song parody. He said that they mixed R. Kelly and Gayle King's interview. He said that they played the song on the air but they made a video for it too. He played the song after that.

    Howard said also burning up the app is the new Alex Jones video. He said they have a whole Alex Jones set. Howard said they had the clip of Hillary on at K-Rock and a studio set up for that.

    Howard said someone said Fred has aged very well. He said people are asking for more old clips to be posted.

    Howard said he was saying Wolly Mammoth wrong so people went off on him about that. He said he must have said ''Monmouth.'' Howard said this one was scathing. He said this guy said he can't even pronounce Mammoth.

    Howard said people love Jason on the show. He read some stuff about him being on the show the last week they were on before vacation. Howard said they say he's honest about his shortcomings.

    Howard said someone said Jason looks like someone from Finneous Freak. He wasn't sure what that reference was but it might be from some comics. Jason said it's from an indie comic series.

    Howard mentioned that Def Leppard will be in this week. Robin said that's right. She said she was watching a documentary about a woman who killed her kids to Hungry like the Wolf. Howard said that wasn't Def Leppard. Robin said that's right, it's Duran Duran.

    Howard took a call from a woman who said she went to Italy at 16 years old. She said she was there for 3 weeks and she had 3 experiences with 3 different men. She said that she looked kind of like Olivia Jade. She said the first time was on a train. She said they had rooms in the car and a hall on one side. She said next to her was an Italian soldier. She said this was back in the 70s so she was dressed like Marcia Brady. She said she fell asleep and the next thing she knows there's a hand going up and down her leg. She said she moved her leg and faked waking up. She said she was shocked that this guy would do that in public.

    The caller said the second story is where they went to visit a family member and they had a son. She said it was her mother's cousin who was 25 or 30. She said he was in bed and her mother told her to go talk with him. Howard cut her off and asked if she wants him not to go to Italy. The caller said don't let Beth be alone over there. She said the men over there are very sexual. She said maybe it's changed but that's how it was back then. Robin said no one is going to be on a bus or anything like that. The caller said the men over there are going to go gaga over her. She said don't let Beth walk alone.

    Howard said he's going to do himself a favor. He said please don't call up with more Italy horror stories. He said he doesn't like going anywhere and he doesn't need to be paranoid. He said he's trying to spread his wings and leave his mother's house. The caller said it is beautiful over there. Howard hung up on her. He said he doesn't want to hear more stories.

  • 03/25/19. 9:40am
    Howard said he has to get to a lot of stuff this week. He said he was getting a lot of shout outs from politicians. He said this guy died last October. He said he was a state representative. He said he hates when the fans die. He said this guy Sid Kavulich gave some shout otus to the show.

    Howard played a clip of this Kavulich guy throwing in some Ronnie references and things like that in a speech he was making. He got in an ''Oh My'' comment and a ''Bye for now'' and then a ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard said he got in four references that he caught. He said he died at the age of 62. He said everyone is dropping like flies.

    Howard said this is David who has a story about Italy. Howard took the call and David said that his friend went to Italy and he came back home without any organs left. He said his wife was fucked by a ton of Italian guys too. Howard went through that fake story with the guy before he let him go. He thanked the guy for the call. The caller said they also made him blow his own dick. He told Howard to have fun over there.

    Howard said that was wonderful. He said this poor guy died at 62. He said there's also this guy John Applebaum of Minnesota who gave a goodbye speech and gave them a shout out. Howard played the clip and the guy was giving his goodbye speech and at the end he gave a ''Baba Booey.''

    Howard said this guy is named James Leahy and he gave a Hit 'em with the Hein in a speech he made about parking in the city he was from.

  • Kristy's Dating Problems. 03/25/19. 9:45am
    Howard took a call from a woman who said she's dating and it's not fun at all. Howard said they have those apps. Howard said if he was single he would date on Facebook. The caller said that's all people you know. She doesn't want to date anyone she knows. Howard said he would. He said he'd look people up and wait to get friended by women. He said he wouldn't friend men. He said that's how he would date. Robin said there are many social media sites that are good for that. Howard said you look like a loser if you're dating like that on some of those apps. Robin said she's talking about the sites like Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

    Howard asked how old the caller, Kristy, is. She said she's 42. She said she doesn't look her age though. Howard said that's a nice age. He asked if she's divorced. Kristy didn't answer. She said her cheek hit mute on her iPhone. Howard said that's kind of cute. He said that's hot. Howard said maybe she has double chins. She hit mute again. Kristy said she's been divorced 7 years. She said she does pinup photography. Howard said she must be hot then. He said any magazine like that you have to be a step above.

    Howard asked if she has kids. She said she has 2. She said he has an 11 year old and a 13 year old. Howard let out a grunt. He said his boner just went down. Kristy said there's like 8 women for every guy in Atlanta. She said that's good for the guys down there.

    Howard said he was told to go to a school where there were like 8 guys and 3000 women. He said he knew he'd have good odds there. He said that he probably still wouldn't be able to get laid. Howard said he's used to blaming everything on his looks.

    Howard asked what's wrong with Kristy. He asked if she's overweight. She said she's 120 pounds and 5'9'' tall. She said she's got a double D. Howard said her titties are too big. He said they're intimidating. He said if they're that big then they have to look too big. Kristy said the surgeon who did the work did a good job. Howard told Gary to pull her up on Instagram and tell him what she looks like. Howard said you need a nice normal tittie. Kristy said she looks normal. Howard said she should be a C-cup. Robin said they could be a little bit.

    Howard asked Gary to look her up. Gary asked him to put her on hold for half a second. He said he'll look her up. Gary said he can bring it in after that. Howard said hold for Gary.

    Gary had a Plantain chip in his mouth so Howard goofed on him about that while he was getting her information. Howard asked who eats that and why couldn't he have waited until after the show.

    Howard played another song parody about his book Howard Stern Comes Again. Howard said that book is a good book to make doody to. He said that's where he does his reading.

    Howard said he just got a note about the giant bowl of Plantain chips Gary has on his desk. He asked how long he has to wait for Kristy to get back. He had her back a second later. Howard said he'll be checking her out on Instagram. Howard asked why her husband left. She said she left him. She said it became like a roommate kind of thing. Howard said that's what hot chicks do. He said that's what happened to him in college.

    Howard took a look at Kristy and said she is hot. He said she looks Asian. Howard asked where her titties are. Kristy said they are perfect for her frame. Gary said he can't find a body shot. Kristy said they're there. Howard said that Gary's laptop is full of plantain juice. Howard said she is super hot. Howard said he's not seeing her boobs. She said there is a picture there. Howard finally saw it.

    Howard said Gary is all upset about Jason telling him about the Plantain chips. Gary said he has to tell him to stay out of his office. He said he doesn't want someone reporting on what he's eating. Jason said he got so angry. He said he sits right next to his office. Gary said if he wants to know what he's eating he'll tell him and show him. He said he told Jason to stay the fuck out of his office and he still gave him a note. He said he needs some degree of privacy. Howard said Gary just hid the bowl. Gary said that's where they go. Howard said every time he goes to him he's eating lately. Jason said he knew he was going to go to him on the microphone and he still ate one. Gary said Jason should talk. He said he's a fat fuck. He said he can't possibly know what's going on in there. He said he was already eating. He said he didn't know he hadn't swallowed it.

    Gary and Jason went at each other for a minute. Howard asked when Gary started eating that stuff. Gary said he's not sure. Howard said he's sure they're fattening. Howard said the diet must be gone. Gary said it is gone. Jason said he heard he got a new treadmill to try out. Gary said that is not true. Howard said he heard he ordered 4 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Gary said Jason has 8. Howard said that's an asshole move of Will to make them buy cookies. Howard said don't do that at work. He said he would never go to another guy and ask them to buy cookies. He said that's her job, not Will's job. Jason said he's with him on some of that but not cookies.

    Howard asked Will why he would do that. Will said he has to take the shit there or take it at home. Will said he just had it on his desk and people started doing it. Howard said he's kind of a senior guy around there. He asked why he would do that. Will said it got weird quick. He said people were chiming in and saying they couldn't wait. He said it won't happen again. Howard told Will to tell his daughter to get out there and do it herself. He said tell his wife that too.

    Howard asked Jason how many he bought. Jason said he got some for the staff. Howard said he has to cut back. Jason said he got 8 boxes and he brought some to the meeting. He said he brought 5 boxes home. He said he ate 2 boxes of Tagalongs this weekend. He said he was under 300 pounds last time he was at the doctor so he was excited.

    Howard asked Kristy what's going on with her. Kristy said that she just can't find a good guy. Howard said he has to go. He said no one wants to hear about that. He said not with those big jugs. He said she weighs 120 with Double Ds.

    Howard had Ralph on the phone and he said she can't be so fussy now that she's 42. Howard said maybe Benjy is the guy for her.

    Ralph said he's cracking up thinking about Gary eating the plantains. He said imagine how much was in his mouth that he swallowed. Howard said Gary has to run his tongue over his teeth to get them out of there. Howard said it's like scraping barnacles out. Gary said he has to agree with Ralph. He said he thought he was done swallowing.

    Ralph said those things are like ea big fat cell. Howard told him to throw them out. Howard told Jason to go in and examine his drawers. He was just joking.

    Howard said he tries not to eat during the show. He said he waits until after the show. Gary said that's easier said than done. Howard said he seems to be eating whenever he goes to him. Gary said it's not that often. He said he's on the microphone all day long and it's not like that all the time. Howard said he doesn't agree with that.

    Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he thinks about this Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and if she'll be president some day. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he thinks she's in the news because she's so hot. Robin said she might be an 11 in congress. Howard said she has the ability to speak too. He said she speaks like a normal human being. Robin said that won't last. She said she'll end up talking like god knows what in a little while. Robin said she's a new kind of socialist. Howard said he really doesn't know that much about her. He said he's not sure what socialist means with her but if it's free college for everyone he's all for that.

    Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he loves Gary but they don't sell big bags of those chips. He said he had to buy small bags and put them all in there. Gary said they sell the at Whole Foods. He said they come in a little container. Howard said that feeing trough is little to Gary. Gary said it's 9 ounces. Howard said asked how fattening they are. Gary went through the nutrition facts and told Howard what it said. Gary said it's 7 servings so it's 150 calories for each serving. He said it's 1050 for the entire container. He said that lasts him a week and a half. Howard said that's because he fills it out with Girl Scout cookies.

    Howard took a call from fake Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who said she's like the Baby Shark of Congress. She said you can't rattle her and she doesn't get embarrassed. She said everything she's done has been posted on the internet so she's fine with it. She told Howard about what this new socialist thing means to her. Howard spent a little more time with fake Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez before letting her go.

    Howard said he has to go home and go to bed. He asked what he has to do. Fred said he can do a commercial. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.


  • Robin's News. 03/25/19. 10:20am
    After the break Howard came right back and had Fred play Robin into her news with a song parody. Howard said that was sent in by Booby Idol or Billy Eyeful. He said that might be one of his favorites.

    Howard said he played the announcement about Alex Trebek's cancer and he was making him look bad. He said he'd just go away if he had cancer like that. Robin said Howard would make an announcement. Howard said Alex posted another video where he thanked his fans for their support and well wishes. Howard said he's putting out more product than Olivia Jade. He said he would not be doing that if he were him. He said he's making the best of it. Howard played a clip of Trebek thanking his fans for their support.

    Robin said they sent him nothing. Howard said even Watson the computer sent him a get well card. He said he gets a stubbed toe and he's miserable. He said he does admire this guy. Howard played more of the clip and Alex was saying he reads everything that he gets. Howard said he reads nothing himself. He said it all goes in the garbage. Alex said he's a lucky guy. Howard said he'd be asking ''why me?'' He said imagine you eat healthy all your life and then you have something like this happen. He said that he'd be wondering why that fat bastard High Pitch Erik is still around. Howard said he's meticulous about what he eats and this is what it gets you.

    Howard made up his own video where he'd be asking why he's dying and Charlie Sheen is still alive. Howard said that's what he'd be asking. He said in terms of game shows Bob Barker is out living him. He said OJ is walking around healthy as a horse. Howard asked how old Alex is. Robin said he's 70-something. Gary said 78. Howard said he looks good. He said he can't believe he has pancreatic cancer. He said Valerie Harper was supposed to die 10 years ago. Howard said he'd be making a really bitter tape. Howard said he would be livid if Keith Richards outlived him. He said the bitterness he'd have is unbelievable. He said Alex has none of that. Robin said maybe they're getting upset about something and Alex knows he has something treatable or something. Howard said Jimmy Carter had brain cancer and now he's the longest living ex-president. Robin said they told him the brain cancer was goodbye for him. Howard said how about every member of Motley Crue still being alive. He said they get to outlive him too.

    Howard said he always used to think he would live forever. He said he's not that way now. Robin said that everyone is like that. Howard said it would eat him up that Betty White gets to be around and he'd be going.

    Robin said she thought Howard was supposed to say some goodbye words for Jan Michael Vincent. Howard said he can do that quickly. He said at least Alex gets to outlive him. He said Wink Martindale is 85 and still around healthy as can be. He said he was on that Tic Tac Dough show.

    Howard said Jan Michel Vincent was one of the most handsome people and he was on their show a couple of times. He said he was on that show Air Wolf. Howard said Jan Michael Vincent was how old. Robin said she thinks he was 73. Howard said that guy was a good looking man. He said he died last month. He said he was kind of ignored. Robin said he wasn't living in Hollywood anymore. Robin said he was down south somewhere. Howard said James Dean's agent got a hold of him early. He said he had it all going on. He said he got involved in some drugs and stuff and he got into fights and accidents and all of this stuff.

    Robin said he was booked on the show and he had just been in an accident and he came in anyway. Howard said he came in wearing an eye patch. He said his doctor told him not to fly and he did it anyway. He said that he hit on Robin too. Howard played a clip from that day that Robin got hit on by Jan Michael Vincent.

    Howard said they never saw Jan after that. He said he lost part of a leg to an infection. He said he had a horrible ending. He said at least Alex Trebek outlived him. He said that's the way it should be.

    Robin said they have been talking about the college entry scandal. Robin said that Lori Loughlin's family is in the news a lot and they have some audio of Lori saying in an old interview that she never wants to do anything that her kids have to pay the price for. Howard said this is more investigative than the Robert Mueller investigation. Howard played the clip of Lori talking about how she plans to do things in her life that won't affect her children in a negative way.

    Robin read a story about a family that found out that their ancestors were involved with the Nazis and it was worse than they thought it was. Robin said they are worth 40 billion and they are disgusted with their family's past crimes. They are going to give away 11 million to charity of that 40 billion.

    Robin said Julia Roberts had something to say about this college scandal. Robin said she said that it kind of makes her sad because it shows they didn't have much faith in their children and their ability to do things on their own. Howard said he couldn't agree more. Howard said he still has faith in Olivia Jade. He said she was doing fine before this.

    Robin read a story about Dr. Dre bragging that his daughter got into USC on her own. It turns out he had to step back because he and his partner had donated $70 million to USC.

    Howard took a call from a guy who asked about his hatred for The Doors and if it was persona. Howard said he just was never into them. He said it's not hatred. He said he just doesn't like the music. He said that he doesn't get them. Howard said this guy should be at work. He said he's at home on paternity leave. The caller said he's holding his daughter right now. Howard said he never heard of paternity leave when his kids were born. He said he went to work. Howard said he didn't need to be home to bond. He said you'll bond just fine. He said go make a living. He said the kids need money. He said he doesn't get the whole thing. Howard said this guy is worried about the doors. The caller said his wife is at work. Howard asked what he does for a living. The guy said he's a software consultant so he works from home. He said one of his staff members there is one of their VPs. Howard said he's not sure where that's going so he let the guy go.

    Howard said he just worked his ass off and he spent time with his kids when he was on vacation. He said that was the time he bonded. He said you go back to work after a week and the boss is okay with it. He said Shuli was gone for like a year playing video games the whole time. He said work is important. He said that's your contribution. He said you put in your day's work and go home.

    Robin had Howard play a Dick Dale song called ''Misirlou.'' Howard said he loved when Quentin Tarantino used it in his movie. Robin said Dick Dale is dead at 81 years old. Howard said Dick Dale never took paternity leave. He said he just worked and provided. Howard said no words to that song either. He said you put in your own words.

    Howard took a call from Apples who asked if he saw this week's Saturday Night Live which was a replay with Halsey. Howard said he saw it when it aired. Apples said she was hot. He asked what Howard wants to paint over in Italy. Howard said he hasn't been there yet. He said you have to wait for something to inspire you. He said it can be anything. He said that there are people who pay artists to paint something. He said you want that person to be inspired by something. He said you can't make them paint something they're not into.

    Howard took a call from a woman who asked why he gives men such a hard time about paternity leave when he only works 3 days a week. She said it irritates her because she's a Doula and a midwife. Howard said he's heard of both but not of the same person doing both. Howard said that the best place to give birth is a hospital. The caller said the best way is to squat and hold on to a tree. Howard said he's not going to be with a Doula. He said if he's a premature baby with a heart condition he's not going to be around a Doula. The caller said that's just a birthing coach. Howard said he was the coach for his wife when his daughters were born. He said he was a terrific coach. He said he did the breathing thing. He said then they realized it was all shit and they did an Epidural and got that over with. Howard said he's not against some paternity leave but it's turned into a whole thing. He said he found time to spend with the kids on his own time.

    Robin read a story about Janice Freeman from The Voice dying. Robin said Miley Cyrus was at the funeral and she broke down while honoring her. Robin had some audio of Miley breaking down and crying while talking about Janice. Howard said Robin is going to have to sing at his funeral. He played some of her singing ''Amazing Grace'' to piano music. Howard said he wants it done just like this. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

    Robin read a story about Mel B having to call Geri Halliwell to apologize for something she said on Piers Morgan's show. Robin said she was asked if she had ever slept with Geri during the Spice Girls era. Robin had a clip for Howard to play. Mel said that they all slept in a bed together. Then she said she did sleep with her ''like that'' back then.

    Howard said he worked with Mel B on America's Got Talent. He said that he was thinking about this fucking guy Simon Cowell. He said he really doesn't like this guy. He said he likes Howie but not Simon. He said the two old white guys get to stay on but they replace the ladies with younger ladies. Howard said they always talked about replacing Mel or Heidi but they stayed on. Howard said now Simon is replacing them. Howard said that guy is kind of dated. He said they're replacing them with Gabrielle Union and Juliana Hough. He said they're younger. Howard said that fat fuck does that every time. He said it's a weird thing. He said he's happy for Howie because he knows he loves that job. Robin said women age out and men don't apparently.

    Howard had fake Mel B and Geri on the phone. They were talking about the lesbian stuff they did back in the day. Howard said this is getting him excited for their tour. He said he wants Mel back on America's Got Talent with Heidi. He said he sees why these two made music together. He let them go a short time later.

    Robin had Howard play a Sam Smith song. She said that Sam was interviewed not too long ago and he said he doesn't consider himself male or female. Howard said neither does Fred. Robin said Sam says he's non-binary and he did consider a sex change at one time.

    Howard asked if Robin saw this movie ''Girl'' on Netflix. He said it's a movie about a guy who wants to be a girl. He said he loves movies like that. He said this guy wants to be a ballerina. He said you have to watch it. He said then he learned that he's Cisgender. Robin said that's right. Howard said he's a man who identifies as a man. Robin asked what Cis means. Howard said it doesn't refer to your sexuality. He said a gay man could be Cisgender.

    Robin read a story about the Robert Mueller report being completed. Robin said that the Attorney General will be releasing some information about it. Robin said the President responded to it. She had some audio of Trump saying that there was no collusion with Russia. Howard said he's going to be impossible now with that. Howard said Rachel Maddow just about had him in an orange jump suit. Robin said she knew people were going to be disappointed.

    Howard took a call from fake Donald Trump who was calling from a noisy place just like real Trump seems to do. He was at the airport with planes taking off and loud noises behind him. Howard spent a little time talking to him with more and more noises coming in behind him. Robin had some audio of Sarah Huckabee Sanders talking about the report and saying he has no problem with it being released to the public. That led to fake Sarah calling in to comment. She said they're having a huge ass party over there.

    Robin read a story about Kirsten Gillibrand announcing she's getting into the 2020 election. Robin had some audio of her making a speech in front of a Trump building.

    Robin said Bernie Sanders was at it as well. She said he's hitting the campaign trail. Robin had some audio of him talking about the 4 page summary of the Mueller report. Bernie said he wants to see the whole report.

    Robin read a story about the Powerball lottery being around 3/4 of a billion dollars. Robin said that it has a cash value of more than $465 million. Howard said they could go on vacation with Olivia Jade that kind of money.

    Robin read a story about the vote going on about making marijuana legal in New Jersey. They're also voting on making doctor assisted suicide legal.

    Robin read a story about the movie Us being the biggest movie at the box office this weekend. She wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.

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