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Howard started the show talking about his opening song that he and Rob Zombie performed together. Howard asked if anyone knew what Rob Zombie's dog's name was. He also asked about his cat. Robin wasn't sure. She asked if they were related. Howard said they were. She knew Rob was into horror movies and said that they must be horror movie directors or something like that.
Howard said Rob does like horror movies and he's directing Halloween 2 now. He said he did the remake of Halloween. Robin guessed it was Jason and Michael Myers. Howard said the dog's name is actually Dracula. The dog is a Pug. Howard said the cat's name is Frankenstein. He said Rob found the cat in the street and took it to the vet to get a checkup. He said they shaved the cat and stitched it up at the vet and it looked like Frankenstein.
Howard said Robin was thinking right with that. He asked her about her arm couch missing today. Robin said she's feeling better now. Howard said her fingers were less swollen this morning. Robin said they are getting back to normal. She said she tried to make her hands look nicer today too. She scrubbed her hands and lotioned them and painted the nails.
Howard said he saw part of Artie on Kimmel from last week. He said JD was sending him some clips that a service they have sends to them. He said they don't get the full clips though. JD said that he gets some of the clips and they're enough for him. He said that it doesn't work for everyone. Howard didn't understand why it was so complicated. JD said he could get Howard the whole clip if he wanted.
Howard said he was actually hanging out with Rob Zombie over the weekend. He also saw John Stamos over the weekend. He said he has a beautiful girlfriend right now. Robin asked when he hasn't had a good looking girlfriend.
Howard said that he was reading that Captain America, the comic book character, is coming back to life in the comic books. Howard said he was never a fan so he didn't really care that he had been killed off.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about how Aquaman came to be. Howard had the history of the character and told the caller about that. Howard said that he was a hybrid of a person who can live in the water and on land.
The caller also asked about the Martian Man Hunter. Howard had history on that character too and knew where he came from. Howard explained all of that to the caller. The caller had asked about the character Atom and where he came from. Howard knew that one as well so he filled the guy in on the details of that character. Howard knew a lot of details about those characters.
Howard said he was going to get off of the comic book characters after that. Artie showed up a short time later. Howard said he knows a lot about that stuff. Howard said that shows he didn't have much of a life when he was growing up.
Artie had lost his voice a bit so Howard asked what was going on there. Artie said he lost it going out to L.A. and doing a lot of talking.
Artie said he never got into the comic books, he was more into sports and Howard Stern when he was growing up. Howard said he had comic books pre-pubes and Playboy was post-pubes. He said his mom got him a subscription to the magazine when he was 13. Howard said his mother thought there was nothing wrong with that and said she was fine that he was looking at that.
Howard said that you can jerk off to comic books or Playboy. He said there were some hot chicks who were in the comic books. He said Flash was very feminine. He said he actually had a beautiful girlfriend in the comic books.
Howard played the call and we heard Richard doing his ''Ethel'' voice and he starts off god blessing everyone there on the show. Richard then god blesses his god son, the USA, the Kansas City Royals, baseball, the auto industry, Jesus, the weather, the phone companies, technology, Alexander Graham Bell, email and computers, microphones, sponsors, chairs, God, vitamins, doctors, his rectum, grandson and his blessings.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard's interviews have been over and above what he's done before. He said the Denise Richards interview was great and it makes you think differently about her. Howard said he watched some of her reality show after she was on that day. Robin said she really was nice and she watched some of Denise's stuff after that too.
The caller said Howard dropped the ball with a couple of questions in that interview. He said that he forgot to ask a couple of questions. Howard said he'll try to do better. Howard said that Jack Black is stopping by today so he'll be interviewing him.
Artie said that Baldwin was talking about his praying and how funny it was when he was telling this couple Spencer and Heidi about that nonsense and they were falling for it. Artie said that Baldwin claims he heard voices from above that day too. Artie said he may be hooked on that show just based on that clip.
Howard said he was thinking of something but the thought just left him. He figured he'd come up with it later.
Howard took a call from Gay Ramone but then remembered what he wanted to play. Howard said that Ferrall is a big Penguins fan so he was doing a play-by-play for the fans during the game the other night. Howard said he thinks that his exuberance is amazing. He was watching this game and he was all nervous about the score at the end of the game. He said that the Red Wings were slamming the puck and coming close to winning. Howard said Ferrall was going nuts wanting the Penguins to win.
Howard played the clip and Ferrall is going insane in the clip. He was yelling at the TV as he was watching it live on his show. He was giving his play-by-play and said that they were doing everything. Ferrall went nuts when the Penguins won. He was giving the Red Wings a bunch of ''fuck you'' comments. He sounded like he had just won the game himself. He said it was the greatest moment he's seen in his life.
Howard let that clip play through for a few minutes and got some laughs out of Ferrall's comments. Howard said that's what goes through his head when he enters Beth. He said he yells out ''holy shit!'' and ''oh my god!'' in his head. Howard said he had to play that clip and said that he had been told about how great that story was.
Artie gave Howard some history on why Ferrall was so excited about that. He said they were there for game 7 and no one thought they were going to win in Detroit. He said that it was a really close game and there was a power play going on so the team was down by one guy. He said that it was an amazing win for them being one player down.
Robin asked why Ferrall was telling everyone to suck his dick if he wasn't on the team. Artie said that's just what sports fans do.
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Howard said he saw the picture of Beth and said he thought ''Wow... that's my wife!'' when he saw that picture this morning. The caller said Artie looks like a fat fuck in the paper. Artie said that was his book cover that he was pictured in.
Gay Ramone was back on the phone and said that he missed the Puerto Rican Day Parade over the weekend. Howard said he missed it and was out of town for it. He said they can get kind of scary. Robin said she hardly noticed it this year. Howard said it looks like thugs are running through the streets with some of these parades.
Howard and the guys talked about how ridiculous these parades can be. Howard said that if you want to celebrate the country you came from then maybe you should go back to that country and celebrate there.
Howard said that they should have these parades in a parking lot at the Meadowlands or something like that. He said that they end up shutting down streets there in the city instead. Howard said they should hold it in Central Park or somewhere that they can close off and not cause such huge traffic problems.
Howard played some audio clips of a Giants parade where Sal and Richard interviewed some fans. The fans were all belligerent and going nuts yelling at the Boston fans.
Gary said that starting in May they have a parade every Sunday through the summer there in the city. Howard said that it really disrupts people's lives. Gary said that they shut down the Washington Bridge for an hour for a motorcycle ride one time. He said that they don't warn you about that stuff on the highway. Howard said that Dan the Song Parody Man pointed out that he could have gotten the traffic report on Sirius.
Artie said that Dan was working in Vegas and needed to come home. He was working with some midgets out in Vegas. Artie said that Dan had to come back and said he needed the 15 grand. He said he'd give him the 7,500 then and give him more if he needed it later.
Artie said Dan took the $7,500 and didn't ask for the other 7,500. Artie said he got $1,000 from Dan recently and he's not sure he would have done that if it didn't come up on the air. Artie said that it's been months since he got the grand. He said he's not sure if he should call him or not. He said that Dan is really talented and he doesn't need that 6,500 bucks, but it is 6,500 and he's not making any attempt at paying him back. He said Dan is at screenings and stuff and claims he can't get his motorcycle back from a garage he has it stored at. He said the bike is important to him and all and he doesn't want him to get rid of it, but he's not making an effort to pay him back.
Artie said that he has mad at his old friend Dan and it really upsets him. He said that he can't do this kind of thing anymore and he can't be loaning anyone money. Artie said that it's not about the money either. He said it's just that the guy isn't making any effort to pay him back.
Howard said maybe Dan will call in and let them know what's going on. Artie said that he'd like it even if the guy offered to give him 10 bucks if he told him he was down on his luck. He said that Dan doesn't even call him anymore.
Howard said he hears from his family asking for money but then they go out and go on vacation and buy stuff. He said he's not sure why they ask him for money.
Artie said he has a friend that owes him $43,000. He said he had to give this guy 20 grand because he was worried for him. He said the guy needed more and more and it got up to 43,000. He said that since then the kid has been going on vacation and partying and stuff. He said the guy went to Italy for 18 days one time. Then the guy went down to South Beach and had a vacation there. Howard said that's what can make you go berserk. Artie said the guy hasn't paid him back a dime either.
Howard said he hopes he has learned his lesson. Artie said he's learning from Howard. Howard said you have to worry about yourself and not these other people.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Artie is on something. He said he can hear it in his voice. The guy told Artie to come clean and tell them. Artie said he swears he's not on anything. The caller asked if Artie's eyes were pinned. Howard checked and said they're not at all. Howard said that felt very embarrassing to look into Artie's eyes like that. The caller apologized for saying that about Artie but that's what he was feeling.
Another caller told Artie to shut up because all he's doing is talking. He said he's not sure if Artie or the Yankees suck more. Artie said it's the Yankees right now.
A caller said that Artie is just looking for Dan to pay him back and he gets his point. Howard said that this whole lending money thing doesn't work. Robin asked Artie what he would like Dan to do. Howard said most borrowers think that they're never going to be able to pay it back.
Gary said they had that conversation with Dan on the Wrap Up Show and Dan said he wanted to give Artie the full amount back at once instead. The guys figured that meant that he wasn't going to pay him back anything.
Howard said if Dan had been paying a little a month, he'd be paid back already since it's been a year and a half so far.
Gary said that when someone like that borrows money from someone who has a lot of money, they figure that person doesn't need that money. Howard said he got a note from someone recently who said this money doesn't mean anything to Howard but it would mean a lot to him. Howard said they have no idea what that money means to him.
Gary said that the money is yours to do whatever they want with it and people thinking that it means nothing is ridiculous. Howard had to take a break a short time later. He said Jack Black was going to be coming in.
Howard came back and said that Sarah Palin is really milking the whole David Letterman thing. Howard said that she's still dragging that out and making a huge deal out of the joke Letterman used on his show recently. Howard said that she should get over it already.
Howard said that Jack Black is an old friend of the show. He said he's been very busy with a bunch of movies. Howard said he's hanging out with all A-listers now. Howard said that soon he'll be too big even for them.
Howard said that Tropic Thunder was a great movie. He asked Jack how he was doing. Jack said he has a little cold. He said he was up late watching the Lakers too. Howard asked if he's a big fan of theirs. He said he is. He grew up in Los Angeles so he's a legit fan.
Howard asked Jack if he thinks that Kobe got his due winning without Shaq. Jack said he did and he's had that coming for a long time. Howard and Jack spent a short time talking about basketball. Howard talked to him about Phil Jackson and things like that.
Howard said he read that Jack was born Jewish but he doesn't follow the religion. Jack said he was just bored and he follows Eastern religion instead. He said that he's into that Zen stuff instead. Jack said that he's not even sure why.
Howard asked Jack if he's sick from burning the candle at both ends. Jack said he's been over in England filming ''Gulliver's Travels'' where he's playing Gulliver. He said it's a pretty big deal and it should be pretty awesome. He said he caught a flu bug over there. He said he had explosive vomit and diarrhea at the same time. He said it was really bad.
Howard told Jack he could have told him he was sick and not come in. Jack said he was contractually obligated to coming in. He said that flu turned into this head cold.
Howard asked Jack if he's still getting laid. Jack said he and his wife are still doing it like two times a week. He said he has a 1 and 3 year old too.
Howard asked Jack if he's always been a ''Black'' or if his name was changed. He said he was always a Black but not always a Jack. He said Jack was his nickname. He said his real name is Thomas. He said that they had some history there. He said that they really didn't want to name him Thomas. He said he ended up naming his son Thomas and he calls him Tommy. He said he loves The Who's ''Tommy'' so he loves that.
Howard said he's not a huge Who fan. He said they're okay but he's not into them like some of the bands from back then. Artie is surprised by that. He said he figured Howard would be really into them.
Howard asked Jack if he's still doing the whole Tenacious D thing. Jack said that they are still performing but their movie ''Pick of Destiny'' was a huge flop. Howard said he heard that Jack stopped writing movies after that flopped. Jack said that's true. He said no one is going to pay him to write anything now. He said he'd have to write for free.
Howard asked if he went into a depression. Jack said it was a little bit of one, yes. He said he had to be put on Welbutrin but that was mostly to help him quit smoking. Jack said that he used to do coke and smoke weed but he was never a huge drug guy. Jack said he snorted heroin one time and his heart slowed down so much he thought he was going to have a heart attack. He said he went for a walk and it felt like he didn't have feet. He said there was no pleasure there.
Artie told Jack that he may have gotten some bad stuff. He said that every time he's done that stuff it's been an amazing high. Jack said that the stuff sat around for a long time too so maybe it had just gone bad.
Howard asked Jack how he got a hold of the stuff. Jack said he wasn't going to say. Howard said he did heroin one time, accidentally, when someone told him that it was coke. Howard said he disliked the whole thing and said it wasn't pleasant for him. He said that it just wasn't for him. Artie said that it's not for anyone really.
Howard asked Jack about making out with Cloris Leachman on The Office. Howard asked if it was traumatizing for him. Jack said that she's in her 80s but she was good to go. He said that she was ready to plunge into the deep end and she wanted to make out with him. Jack said that she gave him the impression that she wanted to ''do it.''
Howard said Cloris was great on his show when she came in. He said to kiss her is wild. Jack said that he tongued her. He said he read the script and thought it was funny and shocking and he was willing to go there. Jack said he's never made out with a dude but he would if it was funny. Howard asked if he'd do that with an 80 year old dude. Artie said there's nothing funny about that.
Jack said that he was getting a little aroused with Cloris and he figured that he might be able to do it with her. He said that she was massaging his hand in that scene and he was getting turned on. Jack said he can find the beauty in any woman and he was thinking that she knows what to do based on that hand rub.
Howard said Artie made out with Blue Iris. Artie said she was 75 years old and she made out with her. He said that she may have just blown Lexington Steele an hour before. Jack asked if she started out in silent porno. Howard said he actually had one of those when he was growing up. Howard said back in his day they had 8mm film porno. Howard described the porno film he saw and how his father came home while he was watching it. He said it was hard to watch porn back in his day.
Howard said that Jack has made out with some other people like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Jack said that he regrets saying that. He said that a classy dude doesn't kiss and tell. He said he didn't actually do anything with her and he just had an impression that he could have had a chance with her. Howard asked him why he had that impression. Jack said that they were in Mexico filming ''I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'' when it happened. He said he didn't want to tell the story again. He got into it for a few seconds but then stopped himself. Artie tried to make him feel comfortable saying that he had blown a guy.
Howard said that saying that he thought she was into him isn't wrong. Jack said that Jennifer just said, as they were shooting the movie, that he could come and chill in her room if he wanted to. Jack said he went over to her dressing room and there was no dressing room. He said he realized she meant her hotel room instead of her dressing room. Jack said there really wasn't much there in the story though.
Howard said he had Terri Hatcher come and visit him on the set of Private Parts and she wanted to hang out with him for the day on the set. Howard figured she wanted him. He said he was in all his glory that day and she came back to visit but she couldn't have given a shit about him. He said she just wanted to be on the set.
Jack said that he needs the woman to make the move so clearly so there is no misunderstanding. He said he's not good at reading people like that. Artie said that he did a movie with Renee Zellewegger one time and thought she was into him. Artie said that she was being nice to him and that led to him thinking that she was into him. He said he told Chris O'Donnell he thought she was into him and Chris looked at him like he said he was going to go to the moon to get some samples and bring them back. Artie said he didn't even try with Renee after that.
Howard said Jack is in this movie ''Year One'' and asked him what that's about. Jack explained what it's about and said he's in it with Michael Cera. Howard asked if he hangs out with that kid. Jack said he's old enough to be his father so they don't hang out too much.
Howard asked Jack about this Cera kid and if he's really the ladies man that they say he is. Jack said that the girls think he's really sweet and he's not just going to bone them and leave. Howard said he must have ''that thing'' that girls are looking for. Jack said he had a girlfriend while they were shooting the movie.
Howard asked Jack about getting this role and how that all came about. Jack said that Harold Ramis asked him to do it. Howard said Harold directed one of the greatest movies of all time, ''Groundhog Day.'' Artie said Ramis also directed ''Caddyshack.''
Jack talked about the movie and the big budget it had. He said they had some very epic moments in the movie that cost a lot to make. Howard asked Jack if he's making good money on these movies now. Jack said that he's doing well. He said he doesn't want to overprice himself though. Jack said that he may have to make him the $6 million man when he hires him to be in a movie.
Howard asked Jack if his parents are still nudists. Jack said that was back in the swingin' 70s. He said they don't get nude now. Howard said he's never been to a nudist colony or anything because he has a small penis. Jack said that he's been to nudist colony as a kid and it was never weird to him, but now he's thinking it might have been kind of strange.
Howard asked Jack if he popped boners as a kid. Jack said he didn't remember doing that. He said he did remember putting his wiener up against a jet in a Jaccuzi and getting off. He said that his dick got waterlogged like the Elephant Man. He said that it was strangely malshaped too.
Howard asked Jack if his mother had a huge bush and if he saw that walking around the nudist camp. Jack said that seems kind of natural to him. Howard asked Jack if he was freaked out that he had a small penis and he was walking around nude. Jack said that they didn't make fun of him like that. He said that he did get a bad sunburn on his ass one time though.
Howard asked Jack if they were nude around the house all the time. Jack said they weren't like that either. He said that they would play tennis in the nude with just sneakers on. Howard asked Jack if he thinks this is why he's so happy in his marriage. Jack said that could have something to do with it.
Howard said he would have been so traumatized by something like that. He said he doesn't have much of anything down there. Howard said his balls are normal and his penis is tiny when he's flaccid. Howard said he doesn't mind showing his balls but he would keep his penis covered up.
Howard asked Jack if he would expose his kids to that stuff. Jack said that back in the 70s it wasn't that odd. He said that these days it might be a little more odd.
Howard asked Jack if he made up with Jeremy Piven. Jack said that they did talk. Howard said that was a legendary fight. Jack said it wasn't legendary. Jack said that he was upset with Piven for something that he had done at an event and he mentioned it on the air. Then Piven said he couldn't believe he said he was an asshole on the Stern Show. Jack said he put out a press release saying that they were friends to smooth things over. Howard asked Jack if Jeremy is really an asshole. Jack said he doesn't think he is an asshole, but he plays one on TV. Jack said that the industry breeds assholes and people can lose it very fast.
Howard asked Jack what he thinks of this Sarah Palin thing. Jack didn't know much about it, he had just heard about it. Howard explained it to Jack and how Letterman had screwed up and joked about a 14 year old getting knocked up. Howard said that it was really nothing and Palin was blowing it out of proportion.
Howard asked Jack if he misses the action of being single in Hollywood. Jack said he had some fun and some wild rampages. He said he had a threesome one time. Howard asked Jack how that happened. Jack said it was just one magical night. He wasn't able to give details. Jack said it was two young ladies though. He said they weren't in show business, they were from out of town. Jack said that he had the two in his room and he really wasn't into it.
Jack said that he became more fond of one of them and he wasn't that into the other chick. Howard said they hear that a lot from people who have threesomes. Artie said that he had a threesome one time and he kind of hinted to the one girl that he wasn't into her that much and she ended up licking his ass. He said that she went out of her way to do that for him. Artie said he had to pay like $40,000 to get that though.
Howard gave Jack some plugs for ''Year One'' and said that it's opening this week. Jack said the movie is tracking well so they may have a hit.
Howard told Jack he should just go around bad mouthing all of the movies that he's going to be going up against. Howard said that they're up against ''The Hangover'' too but that's going into its third week. He said they should be able to beat that. Howard said that it must make you nuts when you hear that a film has made $40 million two weeks in a row. Jack said he got a signed CD from Whitney Houston after he did ''School of Rock'' so that was kind of surreal to him.
Jack asked Howard if he ever saw this movie ''Overnight'' because it's about this guy who becomes an asshole over night while making a movie. Gary came in and said that Jack has to go. Howard asked why he has to get going. Jack said he had to go and do Regis and stuff like that. Howard said he wishes Jack luck and thinks that he has a big film on his hands. He said that ''Year One'' is opening on Friday in theaters everywhere. Howard asked Jack if he had anything to say to people to get them to go see it. Jack said ''I love you!'' They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he weighed himself this morning and found he gained weight. Howard said he thought he had lost some. Howard said he's been eating whatever he wants but just eats at meal time. He said he doesn't snack on anything. Howard said he's a three meal a day'er and isn't eating any snacks.
Artie's iPod was still on so Howard heard that and wondered what he was hearing. Artie apologized after Robin goofed on him. He said that Robin's phone has rung during the show before so she has no reason to make fun of him.
Howard said he prefers to stay around 192 pounds or so but he's gone up a bit. Artie said he's lost a lot and he's fitting into regular jeans now. He said he fit into a 36.
Howard asked Artie how his Kimmel thing went. Artie said Jimmy was great and they had a barbecue guy there who made some great stuff so he was eating there. He said that Jimmy is getting great at interviewing so things went smooth.
Artie said he did a book signing out at a book store out there and did about 1500 books. He said one guy brought a copy of Howard's book and saw how he signed that. He said he's not sure how Howard did that for every book he signed. He said it was so neat and nice looking.
Howard said Robin signed her books sloppily. He said that he told her she has to do it better and he thinks that she started to.
Artie was going to tell a story but Howard had Eric from Hoboken on the phone and he didn't want to hear it. Eric said he was going to make that call a ''praise Artie'' call but now he has to call him out on the leather jacket he was wearing in L.A. Artie said that he was trying to look cool and apologized to the guy.
Eric said that it was nice to see Artie not on dope these days. Eric also said he noticed some things about him. He told him he needs some white strips on his teeth. Howard said Artie has nice white teeth and he didn't know what he was talking about. Howard hung up on him.
Ass Napkin Ed called in and asked if Artie was drinking because he wasn't smiling at the right moments. Artie said that he wasn't drunk.
Another caller said that there's no way Artie was wearing size 36 pants. Howard said he believes it. The caller told him to pull down his pants and show Howard. It turned out he was wearing 38 and not 36. Artie said he was wearing 48s just a few months ago.
Howard said some people think that Artie is on something. They tell him that all the time. .Artie said that he doesn't know what to say. He said his shrink finally came back from vacation though so he's happy about that.
Howard said that Brent Hatley from Bubba's show went him a note about that story because they had been fired by Clear Channel years ago. Howard said it felt great to team up with Brent and Bubba since they had all been screwed by Clear Channel.
Howard read an article about the bankruptcy and said he's taking joy in their bankruptcy. Howard said radio will benefit from that though. He said that it might bring some energy to the industry and they'll have some private owners who don't want to fuck over the talent.
Howard said that Gary's pitch is still making news. He said that CBSSports.com had a top 10 list of the worst pitches out there and Gary was number 2. Mariah Carey was number one on that list. Artie said that he's going to be throwing out the first pitch at a Trenton Thunder game soon.
Lisa said that the Artie Lange cupcake has higher national sales but the Baba Booey cupcake sells better locally. Lisa asked the owner of Crumbs Bakery if he would ever make a vegan cupcake and he said that he's pretty sure that wouldn't sell.
Lisa said that Lonnie Heckman, the writer of ''When I See Beth Smiling,'' would have been 40 years old today. She said that his mother is thinking of releasing some of his songs through iTunes. Lonnie passed away before he could see Howard get married to Beth.
Lisa said that High Pitch Eric has now challenged Steve Langford to a race. Steve has agreed to a race but if he wins then Eric has to hold on to a job for a year. All Eric wants is a bucket of chicken if he wins. That race may be coming up soon. Howard said he hopes they cover it on Howard 100 or 101.
Howard said Ralph had an app on his iPhone called a fag detector. He said that it makes noise as it gets closer to a person. He said he was putting it near John Stamos and making it go off. Howard said he was cracking up when he saw that.
Howard said John Stamos has something on his iPhone to clean the glass. He said it's a guy in a bathing suit who starts squeegying his scree. Howard said he was giggling at everything. Gary said that they have a lot of apps on there and he found a translator for like 15 bucks so he'll have it on his trip to Europe this summer.
Artie said he wanted to have a Medic Alert like thing that he called a Semitic Alert. He said that it would go off when you're near a Jewish person.
Howard got to the homeless game with Renee on the phone. They gave her a sample question. It was ''What is 50 percent of 500?'' The homeless guy was confused and didn't know what the answer was. He was rambling trying to figure it out. Howard said Jay Leno liked that game so much they stole it for his show and made it a hit.
Howard moved on and played the game with Renee. She had to guess if the homeless guy would answer correctly. Here are the questions and the homeless guy's answers:
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Howard came back and said if he could only sing he'd be a good rock star. He said he'd give out free tickets. He said he'd be terrific to his fans. Howard said he missed the Pearl Jam song since he was listening to Sanjaya crying on ''I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.''
Howard played some of Sanjaya crying while talking about his grandfather on ''I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.'' He broke down crying as he was talking about how he has to be the man in the family. Stephen Baldwin said that was awesome as he was talking about that. Artie said he thinks that family still needs a man in the family after hearing that.
Howard had another clip where Sanjaya cried over Lou Diamond Phillips being like a father figure to him. Sanjaya was telling Lou how he was a perfect father figure and his own father never really knew how to be that to him. Sanjaya then broke down and started crying. Howard said ''Thank god for reality TV.''
Howard said that this is Sarah Palin trying to hop onto something and trying to make a big deal out of nothing. Howard said Letterman is from the mid-west and he's not one of these Hollywood liberals that Palin is calling him. Howard said Letterman is about as far away from a Hollywood liberal as he can get.
Howard said that a woman recently told him that she hated Letterman now that he made fun of a 14 year old being raped. Howard said that he didn't do that, Letterman was joking about Palin's older daughter who had been knocked up not knowing that it was actually the 14 year old who was at this baseball game he joked about.
Howard said that Matt Lauer brought up the comment in an interview with Palin. Matt asked her about the whole thing and Palin explains how she found out about the joke. She said it was a joke about statutory rape of her 14 year old daughter and it was a sad commentary about society.
Matt told Palin that Letterman didn't mention her daughter by name and later explained that he wasn't referring to her. Palin said that Letterman was obviously talking about her and he took days to come up with the excuse.
Howard pointed out that Letterman didn't even write that joke, some writer on his show came up with that joke for him. All Dave did was read the joke.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Artie how his book signing was. Howard said Artie already talked about that. He took another call from a guy who asked how Howard can call Governor Palin an idiot. He asked if every Alaskan was an idiot. Howard said he wasn't saying that. He said he's not even saying she's an idiot. Howard said it's ridiculous that she's jumping on this issue.
Howard said that Todd Palin should go down there and asked Dave to make fun of his daughter to his face. Howard said Wayne Newton did that to Johnny Carson one time after he made too many jokes about him being gay on the Tonight Show.
Howard said Palin is trying to make this political. He said that she's trying to say that New York liberals are the ones saying that it's okay to rape 14 year olds and that's just not what's going on. Howard said it's ridiculous.
Howard said Sarah Palin's husband said that his daughter Bristol's baby was a mistake. Howard had audio of that. He played that clip that also came from the Matt Lauer interview. Howard said that they could have done this differently. The caller on the line was saying that the media doesn't follow around everyone like they do with Palin.
The caller was saying that Palin is targeted by the media. JD said that no one was following Palin around, she was going out and talking to these people. JD started laughing at what Howard was saying and said that he just found him funny. Howard didn't understand why he was laughing because he didn't say something funny.
Artie said JD was laughing at how Howard had dismissed him so quickly. JD said that Bristol was going on TV shows and stuff telling kids not to get pregnant. Howard said that they don't need to parade these kids around, that's what he's saying.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this joke wasn't even about Palin, it was about Alex Rodriguez and how he'll fuck any chick that comes around.
Another caller said that Howard would only defend these people if they were democrats. Howard said that's not the case. He said that Obama isn't putting his kids out on the road to talk about abstinence. Howard said that people would make fun of Obama's kids if they had the same thing happen to them. He said that this is like talking about apples and oranges.
Artie said that call is unbelievably great. Howard said he loved when he god blessed Alexander Graham Bell because if they didn't have a phone then he'd have to come down there and talk to him personally. Howard said the host sounded like Darth Nihilus a little bit.
Howard said he had a few other things to play. He said that he's been trying to get the show ended on time lately so he's not sure how much more he wanted to play.
Howard asked Artie about his Kimmel appearance and how that went. He was going to play some clips of that. Howard asked Artie which of the late night hosts are the best. Artie said that Howard is the greatest.
Artie said he and Letterman have a good rapport but he feels he has to stick to the script a lot. Conan is great but he loves doing Jimmy the best. He said Jimmy is a friend and they just roll with it and have a lot of fuckin' fun.
Howard played some of the audio of Artie's interview on Kimmel. Jimmy was telling Artie how great he's looking. The crowd cheered. Artie said he comments on that. He said he's not exactly Calista Flockhart. Jimmy said he is kind of Valerie Bertinelli.
Artie used a few jokes from his stand-up act in the appearance. He told the one about it never being more than 30 minutes since the last time he ate and also the jokes about hugs not being better than drugs.
Howard played another segment where Jimmy and Artie were talking about the barbecue guy they had coming up. Artie said Jimmy is like an enabler with the food. He asked if he had any heroin for him too. Artie also gave people advice on giving money to a hooker to get you cocaine. He said that they will never come back with the coke.
Howard said that sounded like a lot of fun. Artie said that Jimmy's fans really love the Stern show so he feels a lot of love out there. He said Howard should go out there and do the show sometime. Howard said if he ever goes out there he will do it.
Robin said that when she broke her arm she had to rely on other people. She had to rely on a pedicab guy the day she broke her wrist. Howard said they're rickshaws and they like the call them pedicabs. Howard said it's a god damn rickshaw.
Howard said he was reading that these guys are going to have to get licenses and they're going to make the customers wear seat belts and stuff. Howard said there was an incident recently where one of these guys got into an accident and people got hurt. Howard said the rickshaws are supposed to be for a 2 block ride, not going miles and miles. He said people are using them as transportation. Howard said they must have been from out of town or something.
Howard asked Robin if she has issues wiping her ass with the broken wrist. Howard said he would have problems. Robin said that she has no problem because she broke the hand that she doesn't use. Robin said she only uses one hand. Howard said he has to use two hands.
The Howard TV guys had video of Robin gnawing on her bottle to get it open. Howard said it looked like she was biting the head of a penis off. Robin said that was funny. She drinking a green juice that she gets from Liquiteria there in Manhattan. Robin said that it was a famous place but Artie said that no one has heard of that place.
Robin said she can't wash her arm so that's the worst part of the broken wrist. She said that the thing on her arm shifts around and it hurts like hell if it rubs against the incision.
Howard asked Robin about pleasuring herself and if she can still do that. Robin said she can still do that. Howard thought she did that on her back with her legs akimbo. She said that she does it on her side sometimes and in another position at other times. Robin said that she can't do that with her legs akimbo so she has to do it the other ways.
Howard said he figured she just had to put it on her clitoris and it would get her off eventually. Robin said she needs a certain amount of pressure to get off. Robin said that she has to put her weight on it. Howard said that was shocking and he didn't know that she had to put all of her weight into it to get off. He said that's a lot of pressure to put on herself. Robin said it's all in the position and pressure. Robin said she doesn't think that the Sybian would work for her because of the positioning. Howard asked Robin if she finds it harder to masturbate now that she's lost weight. Robin laughed and said no.
Artie said that his father was a quadriplegic and even he tried to masturbate. Howard asked Robin how she puts pressure on it while she's on her side. Robin said it's just the right position. Robin said that she can put pressure on it while she's on her side. She said it would be her leg putting pressure on it. Fred said it sounds like a door stop. He said she seems to be using it as a lever.
Howard said he learns something every day on this show. He said he had no idea what Robin was up to. Robin said that she doesn't want to put pressure on her arm doing that. She said that she hasn't been able to do it in about a week now. She said it's been a full week.
Robin said that people are telling her horror stories about broken wrists. She asked people not to do that and give her predictions on what's going to happen.
Howard said he saw pictures of Lee Majors in the paper and he has a 34 year old wife that's smokin' hot. Lee is in his 70s. Howard said that guy has known how to get chicks since he was a young man. Howard told Richard to give Lee Majors a ''god bless'' the next time he calls that Swap Shop show.
Artie asked Howard about the famous women that he had been with and if he knew of famous guys he had shared with. Howard said he did know that. He said he knows of famous guys that he shared vaginas with. Howard said there is no greater honor than to know that. He said it makes you want to throw up. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. Steve said that High Pitch Eric is probably getting thrown out of his filthy room today as he's being evicted. He was spotted at Yankee Stadium over the weekend wolfing down leftovers from someone else. Howard wondered where Eric is going to go. Steve said they heard that he has nowhere to go. He said he thinks that they're praying for some kind of miracle to happen today.
Steve said there were rumors that Eric asked some fans for their leftovers in exchange for taking a picture with him. Howard said this whole thing is troubling to him.
Steve said that he spoke to Mark Kriski about the comments he made about Howard last week. Howard said that guy is a retarded man because he was trying to make it sound like the stock prices were his fault. Howard said he has no say over that. Howard said he brought in a lot of subscribers and he recently read that 60 percent of the 20 million subscribers they have, listen to his two channels exclusively.
Howard said he's so done with this guy Kriski. Steve said that Kriski was also upset with Jillian Barberie for calling him an idiot too.
Steve said that Ivy Supersonic went to court in a bikini last week but got dressed shortly before seeing the judge. Howard said he saw some articles about her last week and they call her ''Stern's Supersonic.'' Howard said she's hardly his. He said he finds it odd that they connect her to him that way. He said she's been on the show a couple of times. Steve got in some plugs for tonight's Ronnie Mund auto show. That's on Howard 101 at 7pm.
Howard went to Jon Hein next and had him give his Wrap Up Show preview. Howard asked Jon to turn on his mic because he always forgets even after being there for 3 and a half years. Howard said he can't wait for his contract to be up so he can stop doing this stuff. Howard said he can't wait to get off the radio and he pictures that happening in a year and a half.
Howard said he doesn't know what's going to happen in a year and a half. He said he will take some time off no matter what. He said he will either stay there, go somewhere else or whatever, but he's taking some time off in between no matter what.
Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's Wrap Up Show. Ivy Supersonic called in during that and said that she was convicted of doing a few things when she glued a door and spray painted it. She said that she has to clean up a park and do some charity work as well. Ivy said that she has to pay this guy Noel Ashman $4,500.
Gary said that Ivy was harassing that guy with phone calls and she glued pieces of pasta and stuff like that to his door.
Howard asked Benjy if he's still banging her. Ivy said that this guy charged her 9 grand and she heard from the locksmith who did the work who said he only charged $800 for the work.
Benjy said that he and Ivy had one sexual encounter but she ended up crying. Ivy said that she's having a birthday party and asked them to come to that. She said that High Pitch Eric came and supported her at court and now he's asking her to help her out with his apartment problems. She said she told him to come to her party tonight because everyone there will be rich. She can't help him out herself. Howard let Ivy go and had Jon finish up his Wrap Up Show rundown.
Robin started her news with a story about the highest paid actor in Hollywood last year. Howard guessed it was Hugh Jackman. Robin said he was wrong. Artie took a guess and said it was Brad Pitt. He was wrong too. Howard guessed it might be Mel Gibson or Tom Hanks. Robin said they weren't even in the top 5. Artie guessed it was Adam Sandler. Robin said that Adam Sandler was number 2.
Howard and the guys talked about Eddie Murphy's movie tanking and how it only made about $8 million this weekend. Robin said this is the first time people haven't responded to a movie that Eddie made. Howard said Eddie never does good interviews. He said you don't want to see him after seeing those interviews.
Robin had some audio of Eddie Murphy talking about his movie. Howard said he should pull his pants down and show his cock or something.
Artie said that it had to be Denzel Washington, Ben Stiller or someone like that. Robin said he was wrong again. Robin said that it was Harrison Ford. She said he made $65 million between June of 2008 and 2009. Sandler made $55 million. Howard said that's a lot of money. Will Smith was number 3 but she didn't have any figures for him. Number 4 was Eddie Murphy with ''only'' $50 million. Nicholas Cage was number 5.
Robin read a story about David Carradine's death and talked about how she didn't feel so bad for him when she read about him just trying to get off. She said she did feel bad for him thinking that he had committed suicide. Howard said he still can't imagine going through all of that just to get off. He said he'd be too exhausted to do something like that.
Robin said that they held Carradine's funeral and people like Tom Selleck, Stacy Keach, Lucy Liu, Michael Madsen and Darryl Hannah showed up to the funeral. Howard said there must have been a lot of giggling going on there. Artie said he did the William Shatner roast and Carradine was there not laughing at anything. Howard said he was probably picturing Artie in high heels and a wig.
Artie said that they had extras at the gig and one of the girls who was there saw him out in L.A. this weekend and asked him if he was going to the funeral. Artie said that his girlfriend thought that he was friends with Carradine but he walked away from that chick thinking that she was out of her mind. She was an extra on the set of a show he was in the audience for and she thinks that she's friends with him.
Robin read a story about Zoe Bowie who has started to call himself Dunken Jones now. He's making movies now. She found it odd that he had changed his name so many times.
Robin read about Susan Boyle and how she's not doing well after all of this fame hit her. She said that she's out touring and she missed a performance on Sunday. She had a lot of breakdowns during the appearances on Britain's Got Talent and she isn't doing very well right now.
Robin read a story about Spider-Man the musical. Howard said he doesn't like this idea at all. He said he likes Spider-Man but the idea of them singing is so horrible. He said that this is so ridiculous and absurd that it will not be successful. Robin said that Bono and The Edge are writing the music for it. Howard said it doesn't matter, it's going to fail, it has to fail. Howard made up some songs for the Spider-Man musical. He did that for a few minutes.
Robin read about this new phone called The Peek that just lets you text, email and make phone calls. Howard said he heard that the new iPhone was going to have video conferencing on it. He asked Robin if she would have gone out and gotten one if that was a true rumor. Robin said that she may have done that. Howard said that he probably would have gone out and gotten one himself. He said that would be too cool for words.
Howard said he and his 16 year old don't even talk anymore, they just text. He said he fought it for a while but he gave in and now they text.
Artie said that every concrete wall in his town had a strike zone painted on it when he was growing up. Now there are none because kids just sit home playing video games.
Robin read some news about the Lakers and how there were some incidents after they won last night. Robin said the cops had to be called in for that. Howard said he couldn't believe what a big deal they were making out of that show. He said they had some wild stuff going on at the opening of the show.
Robin read about the riots that were going on after the Lakers game and wondered why anyone would want to do that after a basketball game. Howard said he's never been that fanatical about anything. He said that he'd never think of lighting anything on fire after a game.
Robin said that these people just lose their minds. She said there were people lighting fires, looting, walking on to the freeway and other strange things going on. Howard said he went into space one time when the Knicks won. That led to Howard talking about how New York really needs a great team. He said he can still get tickets for the Knicks games so that's one good thing about their team not being that great.
Robin read some news about the Digital TV switch that took place this weekend. Robin said that there are about 300,000 people who called the FCC to ask what was going on. They were even asking how to use the converter boxes and got very confused by the whole thing.
Robin read about Michael Phelps writing a children's book which is about how to win a gold medal. Howard asked Artie what he thinks about this DTV thing because his father got paralyzed installing antennas. Howard said that the antenna is now extinct (not true). Artie said that his father was helping people steal cable back in those days. He said one of the cable guys told his father how to fix one of the filters by boiling it. He said he would offer to do that for the people for a one time charge of $100. He said they would get the filters and boil like 30 at a time and reinstall them.
Artie said that one of the cable guys that helped them got arrested and called their house and said he had the shit and just wait 2 months and he'd get them the stuff. His mother knew nothing about what was going on so when she found out she told his father that he had to stop.
Robin read more about the Michael Phelps book and what that was about. She had some details about what he did to get into shape to win the gold medal.
Robin read about Madonna's adoption of the child from Malawi. Robin said the father just wants Madonna to tell his child about her father.
Robin read about the guy who shot up a Holocaust center and how the guy's son said he wished that his father had been killed so they wouldn't have to be smeared by him anymore.
Robin read a story about Dick Cheney and how he thinks that Obama is making the country less safe. Some people think he's almost wishing for another attack.
Robin read some news about North Korea creating some nuclear bombs and how they will never abandon their nuclear arms.
Robin had some samples of Yoko Ono's new music. She had Howard play some of that. Howard said it seems like they're crediting her with starting some kind of style of music. Robin said she was given an award last week over in London. Robin read some of the details of that.
Robin had some Adam Lambert news. She said that Adam is talking about being gay and he's opening up about it on various news shows.
Robin ended her news and Artie got in some plugs for some appearances he's making. He'll be live tonight on HBO on the new show Joe Buck Live. He's making some other book signing appearances this week too. Howard ended the show around 10:35am.
Gary said he thinks that Jack is a nice guy and he can be kind of frantic in some interviews. He said he loves that he stays calm on Howard's show. He said he was very funny and didn't seme to be putting anything on like he can.
Jon said that Howard also revealed that he had tried heroin before, by accident. Gary said he's never tried it on purpose or accident.
Jon also brought up how Jack talked about the Tenacious D movie flopping and how upsetting that was to him. Jon said it has to be tough for a guy when something like that fails. He said that the band has had some hits so when you make a movie and it flops then it has to hurt.
Gary said that the critics can sometimes crush a film like that. Gary said that he knew Judd Apatow and he used to talk to him pretty often. He said that he made The Cable Guy and it was kind of a crushing blow for him when it didn't do well. Gary said he was pretty devastated by it.
Jon asked Gary if he's ever fucked up something he tried to do professionally. Gary said that he really appreciates him bringing that up with him. Jon said he wasn't even thinking about that pitch.
Jon played a clip of Jack Black talking about working with Cloris Leachman and how she massaged his hand sand turned him on.
After the clip Artie was in so Jon asked him if he got turned on kissing Blue Iris. Artie said that he didn't get turned on. He joked that he had fucked her though.
Artie said that hearing that Dan is at movie screenings instead of working kind of upsets him. Gary told him that his description earlier was that he was ''seething'' that he wasn't paying him back.
Gary said that he and Jon were talking about how they wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that they owed that much money to him.
Gary said that he's not looking to trash Dan but it does make him look at him in a different way. Artie said that he and Dan were out at a concert one time and Dan saw him wipe his ass with a $50 bill so maybe that's why he thinks he doesn't need the money.
Artie said he worked hard for that money and it does mean a lot to him. He said he knows Dan came from the same kind of background and he might feel bad about it. Artie said that he used to work in a machine shop for a while and this guy Mike Teska ran it. He said that the guy loaned him $500 a couple of times and the guy didn't blink an eye. Artie said he was able to pay him back in a week but that week was torturous for him. He said he was lucky that the Raiders covered those weeks. Artie said that the guy, who they called Goof, was a great guy and never even blinked an eye.
Jon said that some people think that when you make good money you don't need it back right away. Jon said that's not the point though. He said when you owe money you just pay it back. Artie said that it's tough to write all of the material that he writes and it takes time.
Gary asked Artie if Dan ever said he was going to pay him back in a certain time. Artie said that Dan wanted to come up to be near his daughter. He said that got to him and he knows that Dan loves his kid. He said that he sent Dan the check and Dan said he would get it back to him as soon as he could. He said it could take 40 years but he'd like to see some kind of effort. Seeing Dan at the movie screening just annoyed him.
Artie said that the fans shouldn't be mad at Dan, this is just between the two of them. He said that Dan was the one who brought it up on the air in the first place so that's why he brought it up today. Artie asked the fans to leave Dan alone though.
Artie said that he loaned $4,000 to a guy there and never heard from him again. Artie said that guy also said that he thinks he's close to a windfall of money and he hasn't seen anything from him either.
A caller asked Artie what he's going to be talking about on this Joe Buck show tonight on HBO. Artie told the guy and the caller said that Artie doesn't seem to be that in touch with current sports. Artie said that he knows plenty about today's games and stuff.
Artie talked about the stuff that he'll be doing on that show. He said he had a pre-interview for it already and told the guy what he wants to do. He said he wants to do a Jack Buck impression. He did some of that for the guys.
The guys were in a Artie sports vortex for a few minutes during that discussion. Ralph called in and talked about what he thinks about Joe Buck. He said he was horrible as an announcer.
Ralph was also asking Artie about lending money out and said that maybe he shouldn't be lending it out and expecting it back. Gary asked Artie if he has lent money to people and gotten it back. Artie said about 85 percent of the people give it back to him.
Ralph asked Artie if he feels Dan isn't wanting to pay it back. Artie said he thinks that he is upset about it but when he sees him out at a movie screening, it makes him think that he's not going out and working to get the money to pay him back.
Gary said Ralph would probably feel the same way as Artie does if it was his money. Ralph said that he's not sure why Artie is letting it get to him. He said that it's not a ton of money and he should just say ''fuck it'' and move on.
Artie told Ralph he could do a lot of things with that money because it is a lot of money. He said that he agrees with Ralph that it's his fault for loaning the money out but he gets the money back 85 percent of the time. He said he's just trying to be honest about it today. Artie said that it's hard to just let it go like Ralph told him to.
Gary said that Artie still values money and he can't just forget about this. Ralph said that's a lot of money but Dan is not a jerk-off and he's not trying to rip Artie off. He's probably going to try and pay him back eventually. Ralph said that the money isn't going to get Artie kicked out of his apartment. The guys all told Ralph that's not the point. They said that he should be showing some effort to pay him back. Artie said that's what's wrong there, he's not making the effort.
Artie said that Howard makes jokes about the whole thing when he sees Dan out at screenings and stuff. Ralph asked Artie if he brought it up on the show today. Artie said that Howard brought Dan up but he brought up the money thing.
Gary said that it's not just dollars and cents there. It's friendship and trusting someone who is supposed to be your friend. Gary said that if someone told him that something was going on that they couldn't pay him back, then he wouldn't feel so bad. Artie doesn't even hear from Dan these days.
Artie said that he likes Dan and wants to see the guy and he'd just like to hear from him about what's going on. He said he should be communicating with him. Ralph agreed with that but he still thinks that Artie is making himself miserable over it and he shouldn't be.
Artie said that this other guy there, whose name he will never bring up, isn't even a friend of his so he doesn't care so much. He said that Dan is a friend and he does care about it more because of that. Artie said that no one in his family asks him for money and he appreciates that. He said that they all work hard to make their money.
The guys asked Artie if he has ever said no to anyone. Artie said he doesn't think he has. He said that the loans are usually fair. He said no one has asked him for a million bucks or anything like that.
Gary said that they were going to do a hidden camera thing where he was going to ask Artie for money to see how much he could get out of him saying his son was sick. Artie said he would have given Gary $400,000 if his son was sick. He said that would be easy to get out of him.
Artie said that Ralph would never ask him for money. He said that he was raised right. Artie said that Dan was probably raised right too but he needed that money for his kid and now he just hasn't been able to get the money back to him.
Ralph said that Artie owes him $300. Artie said that Ralph actually owes him $200. Ralph said that he still owes him $100 then. Artie told him to show up in Hoboken today and he'll pay him that money.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he got into the Stern Show because of Artie. He was a big fan of Artie's before he was even on the Stern Show. The caller also said that Artie as trying to make a point and he wasn't articulating it very well. The guy said that when you borrow money it usually consumes you and you want to pay them back as soon as possible. He said he just wants Dan to think about him.
Artie said that he just wants to hear from Dan that he's having problems or whatever and that's the reason he can't pay him back. He said he's be fine if he just heard from him. Artie said that Dan may not have his number though.
Jon took a call from a guy, Andy Milder, who is on Showtime's ''Weeds.'' Andy jokingly asked Artie for about 8 grand because Kevin Nealon can't afford to pay him. Andy said that Artie has actually beat him out for some gigs on some shows. Artie said that he'd stop auditioning for those parts so he can get some of them. The guys talked a little bit about Mary-Louise Parker a little bit before they had to break.
Benjy said that he was thinking that if she has a favorite position then it has to be hard to change. Gary said Eric the Midget has a set way he does it and he fucks the bed. Jon said he has more mobility than Eric does so he doesn't have to stick to one position.
Benjy started to talk about the way he does it and how he turns his hand backwards to do it sometimes. Gary said Benjy wanted to jerk off while a guest was sitting on the couch back at K-Rock. He said that he pitched that idea for about a year. He said that Benjy did it eventually and he put his hand on his penis with his hand backwards. Tom Chiusano had come in and yelled at him to stop doing it. Benjy said he was just starting to get aroused when Tom yelled at him.
Jon took a call from the guy who gives Gary a hard time every week about the Mets. He laughed at Gary over the Mets game. Gary said that was the wrong game to bring up.
Jon said he wasn't going to stay on sports too long but he did bring up Howard playing the Scott Ferrall audio clip. Gary said Howard doesn't seem to be into things as hard core as someone like Ferrall. Jon said Howard doesn't seem to be into chess that much but it's also not that unusual for someone to be into sports the way Ferrall was with that hockey game.
A caller said that he watched the ''Sam's Game'' show on the Playboy channel and Artie looked very uncomfortable and looked high that day. Gary said that it might have been during the time Artie wasn't clean but he's not sure since he didn't see the show himself.
The caller said Artie was so bad and so dirty and disrespectful that the women looked like they were sick of listening to him that day.
Jon asked Gary about the Jack Black interview and what he was saying about Jeremy Piven. Gary said he doesn't know Piven but he's read some stuff about him that makes him seem like an asshole. He said that he's heard that he tips with his autograph or Entourage DVDs. He's not sure how true they are or if they're begin made up by the tabloids.
A caller was saying that Jack Black is so untalented and he wondered if they really like his movies. Gary said that he likes some of his movies. He said some of them he doesn't like. He said that he has made a lot of great ones but not every one is a slam dunk. The caller said that all of his movies have been flops from what he's seen. He said that everything except for Tropic Thunder have flopped. Gary said he did School of Rock and that was a huge hit.
Gary said Jack was great in ''Saving Silverman'' too. He was also in Shallow Hal and that was another big hit. Jon and Gary proved their point that he had a bunch of hits. The caller said that Artie could be Jack Black times 10 if he wasn't on the Stern Show. He said that he thinks that he's so loyal to Howard that he can't go out and do movies like that.
A caller asked Gary if he's heard that there's a new album coming out from the band Boston. Gary said the lead singer is dead so it would be hard for them to do that. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that band and what went on with them back in the day. They also talked about some of the wild things that went on with the guys in the band.
The caller wanted them to have Boston come on the show. Gary said he didn't think anyone was knocking down their door to have Boston on.
Another caller asked Gary if he thinks that the show is getting ripped off more frequently than usual. They seem to be ripping off interview information and things like that. Gary said there might be something to that. He said he's not sure about it though. The caller said that the Bruno thing at MTV was like Howard's Fartman thing. Gary said that there might be people who write about it not knowing that Howard did it back in 1992.
Gary said that this Wrap Up Show was something Howard created. He said that he just found out that ''The Hills'' has a wrap up show. He said he saw it on The Soup. He said it's pretty much what they do there but with a live audience. Gary said he thought it was very similar to what they do there. Jon said that they're cuter on that show than they are on this show.
Gary said he didn't even know he was going to be doing this show until he read it in the paper one day. Benjy said that Gary pushed hard for Jon to do the Superfan Roundtable. That eventually led to them getting Jon to do this show. Jon said that was a brief history of the Wrap Up Show which was a bonus for the caller.
Jon asked about JD coming in and not being able to get out his thoughts. Gary said JD wanted to tell Howard something but he didn't know when he went in he wouldn't be able to get it out.
Benjy said he thinks the JD thing is a nervous thing. That's the way he reacts when he's nervous. Gary said he hasn't gotten anymore comfortable on mic than he was when he first started going on the air.
A caller asked if they have ratings on the channels there. Gary said they don't have specific numbers but he's been told that the wrap up shows is the second most popular show on SIRIUS. That might have to do with their lead in.
The caller was wondering why they replay the Wrap Up Show so much instead of just playing Howard's show. Gary said that some people like that but they don't replay it after Howard's show every time. The caller had an interesting voice so Benjy asked him about that. the guy said he had a cyst on his vocal chord. The guy was going on too much about the replays so Gary cut him off and said they had to move along. He said he's sure that Tim Sabean got his message though.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they have put two and two together and maybe figured that Stuttering John gave them some ideas over at The Tonight Show. Gary said that some of that stuff was there before John ever went to he's not sure they needed John for that.
Gary asked the caller what bits they've had on that show that John may have brought over there. the caller said that he doesn't watch it so he's not sure about that.
The caller also asked about maybe getting a podcast out there so they can listen over in Afghanistan. Gary said they don't have anything out there at this time and he's not sure if they ever will.
Another caller said that he was listening to the Master Tape Theatre replay yesterday and they had that Ronnie Woo Woo guy on the show. He asked what ever happened to him. Gary said that his name comes up like once a year for bits. He said Benjy is usually the one who brings it up. He said they've talked about doing a bit with him over the years where they stick people in a room with him and see who can last the longest with him.
Jon mentioned the new prank call that Howard played today. He asked Gary if he saw Richard at all today. Gary said he did go in and congratulate him on the call. Gary said he loved the way Richard pulled that off and kept the guy on the phone through all of those things he was thanking him for. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how he only had 4 hours and 59 minutes left to go in the show. He said he was reading the paper about David Letterman. Letterman has issued another apology about his Sarah Palin joke. Howard said Letterman is apologizing about the joke he made about her daughter for the second time. Howard played a clip from Dave's show where he said he was sorry. Robin said she heard the apology lasted 5 minutes.
In the clip Dave explained what was going on. Dave thought he was doing a joke about her older daughter and didn't know that they were going to take it as being about her 14 year old daughter. Dave said he should have made the joke about Rudy Giuliani since he was at the game with Palin. Dave went on and on about the joke explaining what was going on and how it was the perception of the joke that mattered.
Howard cut in and sarcastically said this was great television. Dave took the blame for not explaining the joke the right way. Howard said Dave never should have apologized. Howard said that she's the governor of Alaska and the legal age is 16 in that state. Howard said that the man that ran with Sarah Palin, John McCain, told a joke about Chelsea Clinton back in 1997. He joked that she was so ugly because her father was Janet Reno.
Howard said that if someone insulted his daughter he'd just nudge him to death. He said this is what he would do and maybe this comment is going to carry Palin right into the White House.
Howard said he had about 50 other jokes about Palin and her daughters. He said that for some reason no one complained about those. He read some of the Leno jokes and they were basically the same kind of jokes that Letterman was telling about her daughter.
Howard said he doesn't think that Dave is going to resign over this but it's dumb that they're arguing about this nonsense. Howard said maybe Palin should be worried more about the stuff going on in this country like GM not being able to lease cars to citizens.
Howard said that Embassy Suites hotels have pulled ads from CBS.com. They were advertising on their web site and they're upset about his joke. Howard said it almost makes him angry that Dave apologized for this.
Artie said it's great that they're at SIRIUS where they can say anything they want and still have some balls. He said Dave can't be like that working at CBS.
Howard said they were going to send ''Ben-she'' down to a protest they were going to have at CBS. Benjy said he was going to hold a sign that said David Letterman raped her. Artie said he'd be willing to go down at ''Ar-she'' too.
Howard said he had his plan to win over women today. He said they're playing ''Bang My Dad'' with mother-daughter teams. Howard said he was reading it wrong. He said it's some fathers that are trying to win a date with a mother-daughter team from the Bunny Ranch.
Howard said he found out about a web site dedicated to Jessica Biel's ass. He said the address is really long but it might just pop up if you google ''Jessica Biel's ass.''
Howard showed the guys some of the pictures that were on this web site. He said they only had shots of her ass. Robin said that was pretty funny. Howard showed picture after picture of her ass. Howard said he was never really an admirer of her's but she did have what guys want.
Howard said he started watching the new season of ''True Blood'' on Sunday night. Robin said she missed it because she was watching basketball. Howard said the lead character, Anna Paquin, was a child actress and now she's all grown up and getting naked on this True Blood. He said they have a love making scene between her and a vampire and she's looking great.
Howard read about Artie writing about being shot up by a girlfriend. Artie said that this is in his book. He said he told Howard about this before too. Howard said this sounds like a wild story. He didn't seem to remember it.
Artie said that he had been shot up by this girl and he didn't even want it. He said he was asleep on the couch when it happened. He apologized to his mom as he was explaining this. Artie went on to say that this chick he was seeing had opened a clean needle and cook up some heroin in a spoon. She loaded the needle and then she came right over to him and skin popped him. Artie said he was mad and asked her what she was doing. He was yelling at her but then the high hit him.
Artie said the high hit him and then he threw up. He said he had never shot it before. Artie said that it was really intense. He said he and the chick took a shower after that. He said they got out and it was 10 hours of high. He said that some people can last 12 hours or more. Artie said that the time after that is the worst.
Artie said that the rest of that story is in his book. Howard read more about the Conan show. He said that the basic thing is that Artie can't do Conan again.
Artie said he wanted to do Conan for the book tour. He said his agent tried to get him booked and they didn't want him on because of the last time he was on. Artie said that he killed the last time he was on and they thought he was high. He said that he thinks that maybe they were upset about him bringing up the $40 million deal that night.
Artie said he's doing better now and he wants to go back on Conan. He said his show has been great. Howard said that maybe it's because he's on the Tonight Show now. He figures that they may be dropping a lot of guests that they used to have on. Artie said that he's so right but he thinks that Conan has the kind of integrity that he would say that they have to let him have people like him on. Artie said Howard is like that. Howard said it's different with TV.
Eric asked the guys if they know the band J Rad. They knew it. Eric said a guy from that band hooked him up with a room for the night and he'll be moving into a place this weekend. He said the band is also doing a benefit show for him this weekend too. Howard said that Eric is probably going to stiff those people like he stiffed his other places.
Eric said he's getting unemployment so he can afford $450 a month for this new place. Gary said that unemployment is going to end. Eric said he can keep it going as long as he doesn't have a job. Howard said this is the kind of people we're supporting and this is why the country is in the condition it's in.
Howard said he admires Eric the Midget. He said he's on SSI because of his disabilities. Howard said he has a roommate and a house that he lives in. He doesn't do anything too extravagant and lives within his budget. Howard said he's not sure why High Pitch can't do that. Howard said he could live within a budget and not have these problems.
Howard asked Eric what he makes. He said he gets $182 a week and food stamps. Howard said he could live within that and still pay his bills. He said Eric could live in austerity. He's sure Eric doesn't know what that means. Eric said he can't even get any help from social services until his unemployment runs out.
Howard asked Eric what he's buying that he's spending all of this money. Eric said he buys junk food like McDonald's. Howard said he could go to the supermarket and buy food that way. He said Eric could work in a McDonald's. Eric said they don't have a sign saying that they're hiring. Howard and Robin told him he could go in and ask if they're hiring.
Eric said that they're doing this benefit show for him in Lindenhurst, New Jersey. He said that they're helping him out to get him back on his feet again. Robin said Eric isn't going to pay anyone. Eric said that he owed $8,400 in rent to this place he was living at. Howard said you have to feel bad for the landlord because Eric was squatting in his place. Howard said he feels bad for that guy.
Eric said he's just trying to get back on his feet. Artie asked him how he can do that, he has the gout. Artie said that J Rad is a great band and they shouldn't be doing a benefit for him, he should be getting a job.
Eric said this money is going to be for him. Artie said that Eric should get nothing. Eric said the money is going to the new landlord. Howard said it should be going to the old landlord. Howard said the guy never got paid. Howard asked Eric if he thinks that he should pay that guy back. Eric said that he would if he had the money. Howard said that's what the benefit is for. Eric said it won't be that much though.
Howard said Eric doesn't have money because he buys all of that twat cream. Howard said he has a phone call of that. Eric said that was a prank call. Howard played that prank call where Eric calls a pharmacy asking for ''Twat cream.''
Howard said Eric is down on his luck but you do have to love his prank calls. Artie said that Eric is taking advantage of someone who loves the show with this benefit thing.
The caller said he liked the Fast Food show. He said that Ronnie's show was good last night too. He said he wasn't being a dick last night either. Howard said Ronnie knows a lot about cars and they had Wayne Segal and this guy Sean who has a GM dealer. Howard said he thinks he had a couple of his dealerships close recently.
Howard said that Ronnie got yelled at for doing such a bad job with a commercial read. He played some clips from the show. He played the Carfax commercial that Ronnie read that wasn't so great for the sponsor. Howard said he was amazed that Ronnie could even read. He said he didn't know he could do that.
After Ronnie read that commercial he took some phone calls and one of them was someone from Carfax. The guy, Larry, complained about the way he read the spot. Larry said that the enthusiasm wasn't believable. Ronnie said that he's not Howard Stern or Ferrall or Bubba. Larry said he was just trying to wind him up.
Howard asked Ronnie about the guy who was on with him and losing his dealerships. Ronnie said the guy was dancing around the whole thing. Ronnie said that they were talking about the differences in American and Foreign cars. He said that he was telling this guy that they have to change the way they design cars here in the United States but the guy was defending GM.
Ronnie said that you can't even lease a GM car these days. He said that you can lease a car but you end up paying out the ass. Howard said he has friends who lease cars every few years and now they can't get one from GM because of this. He said that's going to force the guy to go somewhere else. Ronnie said that a lot of people lease a car so they can keep getting new cars.
Howard said Ronnie knows a lot about cars and that's why he did this show last night. Ronnie said now that the government owns GM, maybe they'll start leasing cars again. He said the guy on the show was saying that will eventually happen.
Ronnie said that they got calls from people who were leasing cars. He said one guy leased a Honda for 5 years and he's going to end up paying like 40 grand for a car that was only 20 grand to begin with.
Ronnie said that they need a better name for his show. He said they called it The Auto Industry or something like that.
Artie said he saw some cops last night and they were listening to Ronnie's show. He said this one cop said their night was going shitty but it was better than listening to Ronnie talking about extended leases.
Howard said they should call it ''Car and Whore Talk'' or something like that. He said they don't even have to talk about whores, it's just the expectation that they will that would draw people in.
Howard asked her what she was wearing. She said it wasn't sexy but it was a lacy top and a thong. She said her body might not be up to par for them though. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go after that.
Another caller said that he saw Artie on Joe Buck last night and he was doing the most uncomfortable thing watching him doing what he was doing. Howard said he woke up this morning and checked his computer. He said he usually checks to see if he was arrested or anything. Then he read some emails about Artie doing the greatest show ever but then others said that he had bombed and ruined Joe Buck's show.
Artie said that Joe Buck hugged him last night and thanked him for doing the show. He said Paul Rudd said that it was the greatest thing of all time. Artie said that he killed on the show.
Howard read an article about Artie from USA Today (Comedian Lange crosses the line on 'Joe Buck Live'). In the article they say that Artie ruined the show and was way out of line doing what he was doing. Howard said Buck thanked Lange for putting an end to the show after the first showing.
Howard read some quotes from Buck and it sounded like he was saying something other than what Artie was saying. Buck was saying that Artie took control of the show and he wasn't able to bring him back under control. He was kind of upset about him taking control of the show and not letting the guests get in a word.
Howard said that Buck didn't say he thanked Artie sand hugged him in the article. Artie said the show was boring until he came on. He said the crowd almost started chanting his name by the end of it. Fred said he would have to agree with Artie on that. He said it was 40 minutes of boredom and then Artie came on and killed for 10 minutes. Fred said he's not sure why they even had Joe hosting the show.
Artie said he did an impression of Joe's father that killed. He said it was a very respectful thing too. He said Paul Rudd told him it was the greatest thing ever. He said that Jason Sudeikis liked it too. He said the show was boring before he came on. Fred said that no one would be talking about that show this morning if Artie hadn't been on.
Howard read some email about Artie's appearance. There were a lot of people who thought he was great on the show. There were others that thought Artie ruined the show.
Artie said that Howard should watch this show. Howard read more of the emails he had and people were saying that he was great, others said he was awful. Artie said that the show was boring before he went on so he saved it.
Ralph called in and said that he thought it was bad. He said he thought Artie was kind of boarish and crude. Artie said it was on HBO so they told him to go nuts. Artie said that Ross Greenburg told him before the show that he should go nuts if Paul and Jason get boring. That's just what he did.
Ralph said that was just them winding him up. He said it didn't seem to be like Artie being loud and obnoxious. Ralph said he wrote an email to Howard last night that he didn't send. He read that to Howard and said that he was taking over that show and there were some collective groans from the audience. Fred said there were groans about the first 40 minutes of the show too. He said Artie did him a favor.
Howard said he has to hear this appearance. Fred said Artie may have gotten a little too vulgar at a couple of moments. Benjy said the audience was going nuts for him and it was like they were at a Richard Pryor show or something.
Artie said he was trying to be interesting and funny. Fred was very supportive of Artie and said that he really was good on the show overall.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the show as awful. He said that the show was a sports show and this isn't what they're looking to do. Another caller said he loved it. He said Artie saved the show.
Artie said he thought Buck liked him but after hearing what he said in the USA Today article, he's not so much of a fan. He said that if he's fucking with him then ''fuck him.'' Another caller said Artie killed on that show. He said it was awesome.
Howard took some more calls and let callers talk about the show. Another guy said the show was like a bad party with a boring host. He said Artie showing up was like a guy showing up to the party and shitting in the punch bowl. Artie and the caller went back and forth arguing about that for a minute. The caller said that Artie took a bad show and made it worse.
Another guy said it was hard to tell where Joe Buck was coming from and Artie killed on the show. Robin hadn't seen it yet so Howard wanted to play some clips. Robin said the reaction from the fans was incredible. Fred said that's how you know it was a great appearance because the audience is split on this. There is no middle of the road on it.
Another caller said that Joe saying that Artie had ended his show on the first night twas great. He said he liked Artie's appearance too.
Artie said that he loved Joe's father doing play by play and he did an impression of that on his show last night. Artie said that he was pissed at Ross Greenburg too. He said that he's not going to listen to guys like that, he only listens to guys like Howard Stern.
Howard said they were going to listen to this after the break. Artie said that he has to understand the visuals that were going on too. Howard said they'll get to that after the break. Howard said they'd play clips of that appearance and then take some more calls and talk to Lisa G.
Artie said that he had to go and calm down at the vending machine. Howard said Artie will do that and they will get back to this stuff later. Artie said that he would rather work construction than take direction from Joe Buck. He said he's pissed that they're fucking with him in that article.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had to turn Artie off. He said Artie is bringing this show down too. He said that he's trying to convince his friends that the show is more than this type of humor and Artie is ruining that for Howard. Artie told him to go tell his friends to fuck themselves.
Another caller said that show as such a snooze fest. She said that they were doing stupid bits and then Artie came out and ruled. She said the place was on ''Fi-ahhhhh.'' Artie said that it was like Ambien. He said he thought he was helping Joe out by doing what he did. The woman on the phone said that Artie ruled. Howard said they'd find out more after the break.
Howard came back and had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. He said they'd play the Artie clips after that.
Lisa said they have a lot of stuff. She said Robin was voted as one of PETA's hottest vegans. She said that Kelly Pickler won. They want Robin to pose for an ad though and they want her dress made entirely out of lettuce. Robin wondered why they want her if she didn't win. Lisa said that Cloris Leachman has posed in the dress and so has Alyssa Milano. Robin said she will think about doing it.
Lisa said that Robin has been on her diet for 2 years now and she's looking to help other people do what she's done. She said that Thea Vidal is going to be going on the program too. Howard asked if she's going to have her stay with her like she did with Tim. Robin said Thea lives in California so she won't be coming out there.
Lisa said that Richard is going to be in a new movie that was produced by Maria Menounos. She's a fan of the show and thought the role fit him well. He'll be playing a skin head in the movie.
Howard asked Robin how long she thinks Thea Vidal is going to be able to hold her enema. Robin said it's not a hold, it's a fill. She said that with a colonic the water is running constantly. She said the timing is about how long you can take the fill. She said that she's never timed that herself. Robin said Howard isn't talking about this the right way. She said that she might be able to hold it for 60 seconds.
Howard asked Robin about the fill and how long that can take with her. She said she doesn't know, that's what she's trying to tell him. Howard said Robin must be head and shoulders above everyone else. Robin said she's not sure about that. Howard said Robin must be doing good because they don't just blow smoke up her ass.
Howard played the clip where Joe Buck was talking to Paul Rudd about some camera crew that jumped on him and tried to get him going. That wasn't going anywhere so Artie came in and asked Joe about liking TMZ.com and asked if his second favorite thing is to suck cock.
Artie went on to talk about the Cowboys and how great it is that they have a guy on the team whose name rhymes with homo. He went off on Tony Romo and on Jessica Simpson being fat. Joe tried to move on to another subject and Artie even goofed on him for the segue he used.
Artie told Joe that he loved his father. He said he was a hero of his. Artie said that he was one of the last of the ''men's men.'' Artie said that Howard is like that and he's not a pussy and says what he wants to say. Artie went on to say that he hated to ruin his great show. He said that sarcastically. Artie went on to talk about Jack Buck and how great he was but how CBS would make him do promos during the middle of a play. He did an impression of that as he was talking about it.
Artie pulled out a cigarette and almost lit it even though he wasn't supposed to. Joe tried to move on and talk to the guys about some other stuff but that was going nowhere. Artie goofed on some pictures of Joe and Paul that they were showing.
Artie said that was it. He said that they did a little more where he shut his mouth and you could hear a pin drop in the studio when he wasn't talking. Robin said it was death when Artie wasn't talking during that clip.
Howard said the stuff Artie was saying was kind of offensive. He said that it was kind of offensive in that way. He said that Joe might be kind of a straight kind of guy and maybe that's why it was so shocking to him. Howard said he's not sure why he got so many emails. He's thinking that maybe he wasn't working with the panel. He said that it would have been deadly if he had complied with that though.
Artie said they were showing pictures of Paul Rudd and Joe Buck from high school. He said it was like death. Artie said that the audience loved what he was doing and so did some of the guys on the show.
Gary said that they did a follow up after that segment that was up on their web site. JD told him that Artie was anything but quiet during that clip. Joe had asked Artie if he had anything else he wanted to get off his chest. Artie said that he wanted to get the jizz he shot on his chest off. Joe asked if they could remove Artie from the show. One of the guys told Joe that maybe he should let Artie smoke. That's when Joe and Artie had their little argument. Joe goofed on Artie's four chins and Artie said that four was the number of shows that Joe won't get to.
Artie was talking quite a bit in this clip. Artie said that he eventually gets quiet. That's when the show goes silent. Joe tried to move on and talk to this Jason guy about being on Saturday Night Live. Artie and Joe were going back and forth joking around and Artie was bashing the shit out of Joe's interviewing skills. Artie was making fun of Jason for not being an A-lister. Artie said that he'll be out making 80 grand this weekend while Jason is going to be making $11 an hour working on SNL next season.
Joe tried to get Paul and Jason to talk about going to high school together. Artie shut up for a few seconds and the audience was silent. Howard said it seems to be a tough show to do. He said Artie is being funny and he thinks that he was saving the show. Fred said that's what he was saying. The show was a total borefest until Artie came on.
Howard let the clip play a little more and Paul and Jason were talking about their high school years and there wasn't much happening.
Joe went to Michael Irvin who said it was refreshing to see white on white crime. That got some cheers and laughter. They had to end the show a short time after that.
Howard said the show did sound like a borefest until Artie said something. Howard said that Artie did save the show but it sounds like Joe wants to make the show something other than what Artie was making it.
Artie said that Joe told him he's a huge fan of his and he's not sure why he'd have him on if he didn't want him to do that.
Howard said he had a guy on the phone who was in the booth with Joe's wife while they were shooting the show. The caller said that she was laughing a bit but then her two young kids came in. He said that she didn't seem to like the direction the show was going in but he thought that Artie had steered the show since it seemed to be rudderless.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Joe Buck was being kind of condescending to Artie and he didn't seem to be much of a fan. Howard didn't think that Joe would have kept Artie on the show if he didn't like what he was doing. Artie said that Joe was very nice to him after the show and they were all telling him how great he was.
Howard took some calls and let some fans talk about the appearance. One guy said that Joe was trying to be his dad but Artie took him out of his element and made him funny. That threw Joe off a bit but it was hilarious.
Howard said the show seems to be about guys sitting around talking about sports. Artie said that they mix sports and entertainment. Gary said Jon Hein told him that he took over for Bob Costas and that's kind of the format it was.
Mariann said that it was a sports show and Artie came in and blew it for everyone. She said that Artie belongs on Howard's show and not on anyone else's show. She also went off on Fred for being very wishy washy about him. Fred said he wasn't wishy washy and he was very clear about what he was saying.
Mariann said she can't wait for Artie to jump off a bridge. She said that he's an asshole and he's only good for the homo jokes and using the N-word and other stuff. She went off on Artie cursing him out. She said she doesn't like him anymore. Artie said he never liked her.
Mariann said that she won't ever like him again and she won't until the day she dies. Artie said he hopes that's tomorrow. Mariann told him to get rid of Artie and said that he'll never have a career without Howard. Howard kept her on the line and let her go off on Artie for a few minutes. He eventually let her go.
Howard said he gets why Joe might have a problem with what Artie did but he enjoyed it himself. He said that he's not sure what that's worth. He said that he enjoyed every minute of it though.
Fred said he thought it was an A+ appearance. He said he didn't want to be wishy washy on that. Howard said that they haven't heard the end of it he's sure. He said that they'll probably hear from the Joe Buck camp eventually. Artie told them to bring it on.
Howard asked Artie when he's getting sleep. He said that show was on late last night. Artie said that he's on a book tour and he's got to do these shows. He said they forgot to mention that on Joe Buck's show last night. He blamed his publicist for that.
Artie said that he's so glad he's off of heroin and he's wide awake now so that's his problem. He said he's wide awake and that's why he's acting the way he is.
Howard said that they were going to be doing Bang My Dad next. He said they had Desi and Ellie Foxx from the Bunny Ranch coming in. He was going to go to break but Artie had more to say about the Joe Buck show.
Artie said that Paul and Jason got what he was doing on that show. He said he just wanted to compliment them for that. They had to go to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said he was excited about this next contest ''Bang My Dad.'' They had a theme song for the contest that they played. Howard said that Desi and Ellie Foxx have been on the show before. They work at the Bunny Ranch.
Howard had Desi and Ellie in and said that Desi is the mom. He said that the last time he spoke to them they were working in adult films. Ellie said they don't do that so much anymore. Ellie said they went to the Bunny Ranch 3 months ago and it's been working out so well they prefer to do that instead. Ellie said that she'd rather have regular sex the way they want it and the way she wants it.
Howard asked Ellie about her sister who doesn't approve of what she does. She said that her sister and brother found out recently. She said her sister doesn't like what they do but her brother asked for Ron Jeremy's autograph.
Desi said that she and Ellie have always been more wild than the other daughter. She said that she's married and all and she wouldn't want her getting into porn or anything.
Howard asked Desi and Ellie about the way they work together. Ellie said that she'll start guys off and her mom will take over and finish them off. Ellie said she does deep throating and her mom hasn't mastered that yet. Desi said she's gotten much better than she was. Desi said Ellie had to tell her how to do it.
Howard said it's nice to see that a mother and daughter can work together so well. Desi said that she and Ellie get to spend time together and work together so it's actually nice.
Howard asked Ellie when her mom steps in. Ellie said that she likes to do different positions with guys first but then she'll turn them over to her mom. Howard said he understands that Ellie gets more customers than her mom and there might be some competition going on there. Ellie said that she doesn't compete with her mom but there is some competition between the other girls there. Desi said she doesn't compete with her daughter either. She said that she has some sugar daddies that come in and want her so she's fine with that. She said that she's kind of a cougar so she's a niche product.
Howard asked Desi about charging more for larger cocks. She said that she will do that because they can put her out of commission for the rest of the day. She said that if they're over 9 inches then she has to charge more. Howard said he wishes that he had to be charged more for his. He said he doesn't have to worry about that.
Howard said it sounds like Desi is down for the day after doing a guy with a huge penis. Howard asked if he could get a discount with his tiny penis. He said that he wouldn't hurt at all. Ellie said that for anal he probably would get a discount.
Howard asked if they do anal. Ellie said she hasn't had any at the ranch. She said that the guys don't think of her as the one to do that with. Howard figured that's what Desi was there for.
Howard asked Ellie if she charges more for a big penis. Ellie said that big can be too big sometimes. She said that there is a limit. Desi said she hasn't seen one that's ''too big'' for her.
Howard asked if there have been any famous people there at the ranch. They said there have been some. They don't kiss and tell though. Howard asked if it's the same, better or worse when they're with famous people. They said it depends on the celebrity. Ellie said that they all have interesting stories to tell and some of the celebrities have more stories to tell.
Howard asked Desi if she ever worries about her daughter. She said that she doesn't usually. Ellie said that her mom came looking for her one day when she was with a virgin. She said they weren't able to get a hold of her because she was in the shower at the time.
Howard asked if they ever say no to a guy. Ellie said that sometimes they can't come to an agreement on what they want to pay for what they want to do. Ellie said that you do need to have good chemistry with the person so that does come up.
Howard asked how often they have an orgasm. Ellie said it's almost every time. Desi said it's 9 times out of 10 for her. Ellie said the guys can be pretty good. Howard said he would blow a load pretty fast. Ellie said that they can do it 4 or 5 times if the guys go really quick.
Howard asked how long the guys can stay. Ellie said that some stay overnight, some stay an hour. She said that some can stay over a whole weekend.
Howard asked when they work. The girls said that they work 5 days a week. They work on the weekends and have a couple of days off during the week.
Howard asked Desi and Ellie if they ever had weird, kinky stuff requested. They've had guys ask them to do stuff to each other. They won't do that though. Howard said the girls have their lines and they don't cross them.
Robin asked if they do guys in the room at the same time. They will be in the room together but they don't do things with each other or look at what the other is doing.
Howard said that this is quite a prize for the contest. He gave them a plug for their web site TheFoxxs.com and for BunnyRanch.com.
The girls showed their breasts and Ellie asked Howard if he wanted to touch. He didn't but Artie did. She let him come over and feel her up a little bit. Artie did that real quick and then Howard moved on to the game.
Howard said that some father and daughter teams were going to come in and try to win the chance for their dad to bang Desi and Ellie.
Howard said first up he had Matt. He said Matt's daughters were Jennifer and Jackie. Howard said he had thought about begin with a mother and daughter. He said he hadn't. Howard asked them to show their breasts to Matt. They did that real quick.
Howard told Matt that he's heard that Ellie will perform fellatio on him and then Desi will finish him off. Matt said that sounded good to him.
Howard asked Jennifer and Jackie why they wanted their father to get this. They said that he works hard and deserves it. They said that Desi and Ellie were gorgeous and they didn't mind that they were prostitutes.
Howard said hello to Dominic, contestant 2, and he didn't want to see their vaginas yet. His daughter was Sarah. Sarah said that her father went to a wedding in October last year and got a raw deal from a hooker he got. She said that she stole all of his money. Dominic said that she stole 800 bucks from him. Sarah said she didn't heed Artie's advice to keep her clapping and she ran off with his money.
Dominic said he did get sex that night but it wasn't even good sex. Not for that price anyway. He said it was supposed to be $125, not 800.
Howard asked Sarah how she came to have such an open relationship with her father. She said that it's been that way for a long time. She said her father was married for 28 years and maybe he's living his childhood again now. Dominic said that he and his wife divorced because they didn't get along anymore. Sarah said that didn't happen until she was a senior in college so it wasn't so bad by then.
Howard asked Sarah about her relationship with her mother and found out that she still talks to her every day. Howard asked if she talks about her sexual escapades. She said that she doesn't.
Howard asked Dominic why this is so important to him. Dominic said he loves blondes. He had a tattoo of a blonde so he showed that to everyone. Howard asked if he can get laid other than with hookers. He said that the chick who ripped him off was his first experience with one.
Howard asked Dominic what he would like to do with the ladies. Sarah said she didn't want to hear that. Howard said it was a little late to be saying that. Dominic said that he's fine with whatever they want him to do.
Howard got back to Matt and found out that he's still married. Jennifer said that they've been married for 26 years. She said that they've been together since they were like 15 years old so they haven't been with other people so she's probably okay with him doing a hooker. She knows that he's not going to leave her.
Matt said he loves his wife and he's never cheated on her. He has never been with a hooker either. Howard said that maybe he should have told her that he was going to be doing this. Matt said that she told him to have fun. He said it may damage the marriage but he didn't seem to have an issue with that. Matt said he cares but he's going to do it anyway.
Howard asked Matt if his marriage has turned into a friendship and there isn't much sex. He said that there is sex about once a week. He said it hasn't stopped.
Howard said that most kids want their parents to be exclusive with one another. Jennifer said that life is a one lap race and they might as well have some fun.
Jennifer said she heard about the contest and entered it right away. She wanted to help him have a good time. She said that he never has the time to do that kind of thing so they're just trying to help. Howard said the most he ever got from his kids was a tie.
Robin said this was interesting. She said that they were saying they had a happy marriage and yet they were getting him in this contest. Jennifer said that it might not be all that happy. She said that it might be kind of hum drum. Desi said that they can do couples so maybe the mom would like to come along.
Desi and Ellie talked about some stuff they've done with couples and how they can work with the ladies just as well as the guys.
Howard said it was time to vote for Bang My Dad. He said that he was going to let Jennifer and Jackie make their plea to the judges for why they think their father should win. They said that he's been married to the same woman for 26 years and he'd probably give it to them good. One of the girls said that she walked in on her dad and saw him getting a blow job from her mom once. She said she said ''Oops'' and walked out saying it was time for bed.
Howard let Sarah get in her plea for why her dad deserve this win. Sarah said that her dad hasn't had a positive experience with a hooker and she thinks he deserves it. She said that her father co-signed for her first car so that was the nicest thing he's ever done for her.
Jennifer and Jackie said that their father is renovating two houses for them and he's stuck with them all this time so that's why they love him so much.
Howard asked Desi and Ellie what they thought. They said they wanted them both. Howard said that they could only pick one. Ellie asked Dominic how many ladies he's been with. Dominic said maybe 30, but not paid professionals. Ellie picked Matt since he hadn't been with a lot of women. She said that he needs to try some ''strange.'' Desi said she'd have to say the same but she liked Dominic too.
Howard said Matt had two votes so far. He asked Matt if he had ever won anything in his life. He said he hadn't.
Robin said that she was going to vote for Matt as well. She said that the only reservation she has is that he might not be able to take the prize. She said his wife might work on him about that and stop him. Howard asked how they're going to know it's okay. Matt said that he can call if he wants. Howard told Gary to get her on the phone so he can ask her.
Robin said she doesn't want to give the vote to someone who won't be able to take the prize. Gary tried to get the number but they weren't sure what the number was. Gary took what they gave him and went off to make the call.
Fred said that he wasn't going to give his vote to Matt. He said that he doesn't believe that Dominic has gotten 30 women either. He gave his vote to him.
Howard went to Benjy next. Benjy said that he had to give his vote to Matt. He said that it's sad and wrong but he thinks that he's going to win.
Artie was up next. He said he relates to Dominic. He said that he broke a rule that you can't break with a whore. He said you have to make the whore keep clapping her hands when she's in a room alone. If you don't, they're taking something. He said he's serious about that. Artie said he doesn't think that Matt gives a shit about anything. He gave his vote to Dominic.
Howard said they had four votes for Matt and two for Dominic. Howard said that he was going to vote for Dominic because he's a single man. Howard said he believes that a man should be faithful in a marriage. He said he's going to give his vote to Dominic because of that.
Howard said they weren't able to get Matt's wife on the phone but he won. He said that Matt got 4 votes while Dominic had 3. Will said that the date is happening today too. Matt won't be going to the Bunny Ranch. Howard asked Matt to check with his wife before he does this. Artie told him not to do that because he'll blow it.
Artie asked the daughters how old they were. Jen and Jackie were 21 and 25 and Sarah was 28. Howard told Matt he won the date and said whatever happens, happens. He asked the girls what they were going to do while their father was out. The girls said they were going to go out and find some dates of their own today.
Artie offered to take all of the daughters out to lunch while Matt is on his date. Howard wrapped up and gave the girls some plugs. Will said that Matt and the girls will be back tomorrow to let them know how the date went.
Artie said that Dennis Hof was there and told him to tell Howard that they have girls blowing guys on HBO so his appearance wasn't that bad on Joe Buck. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Ron Pinksy was there. Ron was Blue Iris' husband. Howard wanted to let him come in and remember Blue. He said that Blue had suffered from a massive stroke and ended up dying recently. Howard played some Blue Iris clips that they've played before. They had her from her old lady porn movies where she was getting banged by some dude. Howard said he remembers Blue telling him that she didn't have a great orgasm in that clip.
Ron told Howard he was married to Blue for 25 years. Howard asked him if it came as a shock to him that she was in the hospital dying. Ron said it did. He said she went very fast. Ron said that she was pretty funny when she called in with the story about having urine in her feet.
Ron said that he put all his eggs in one basket and ended up losing that basket. He said that he loved Blue and he's 12 years older than her. He said that she didn't want to live without him and he didn't want to live without her. Ron said that it was a great loss to him. He said that they all have losses and this was a great loss for him.
Ron said that he was in the room watching the weather channel one day and she hated to see the weather channel. Ron said that she was in the other room after they had gone out that morning doing some other stuff. He said she was starting to go to the gym. Ron said he was going to take her out shopping that day. He said Blue always lied to him about what she would spend when she went out. He said that it took him 25 years to figure out that she did that to him.
Howard asked Ron if he got jealous of her doing the porn movies. Ron said he didn't. He said he just had one rule. He told her that she couldn't love anyone more than she loved him.
Howard said it had to be tough to see her in porn. He said it would be tough for him. Ron said he just saw one. He said he took her to the sets but he never stayed on the set.
Ron said that he was never shocked by anything though. He said he's not shocked by anything in life anymore. Howard asked Ron if he ever feared Blue getting hurt. He said he didn't because he was always around.
Ron said that Blue was a free spirit and she went out and did what she wanted. He said she'd tell him what she wanted to do and he was there to serve her. He said that was his function in life. Robin said that's the kind of guy she's looking for. Artie told Robin her dream boat has docked.
Ron said Blue's voice thrilled him. He said that when he touched her she was his home and that's all that mattered to him. He said that it was more exciting to be married to her than he ever imagined it would be.
Howard played a clip of Blue doing another porn scene to remind people of what her voice sounded like. Howard said some guys would be turned off by that voice, but not Ron.
Howard asked Ron how he met Blue. He said it was back in 1965 when he was still married. He said that he was married to Patty who wasn't able to get pregnant. He said Patty wanted one really badly and he wasn't able to get her pregnant. He said that the doctor knew a woman who was going to have a baby and wanted them to adopt. Ron said he opened his mouth and said he wanted to meet the girl. He said they went to meet her and it turned out to be Blue Iris. He said they met the girl and the three of them spoke to each other. Ron said he introduced himself and his wife. Howard said that that's pretty amazing. They had never heard that story before. Ron said Blue was only 17 and a half at the time.
Ron said that he had more to the story. They all exchanged personal information. Ron said he was about 31 at the time. He said that he had red hair back then. He said that he had to include that in the story. He said that they told Blue that they were going to take good care of her baby. She asked them not to spoil the baby and both Blue and his wife cried. Ron said that the doctor started the ball rolling with the private adoption process. Ron said they went through all of that and filled out the paperwork.
Ron said that he got a note about the adoption and they went and picked up the baby. He said that she had relinquished custody of the baby to them. Ron said that a year later they went to court to firm up the adoption. Ron said that they reviewed the adoption and confirmed it. Then they amended the birth certificate for the baby. The court ordered it all changed and the file sealed until the baby was 18.
Ron said that Blue had gone out and got married and stayed married for years. Howard said he was losing his span here. He asked Ron if Blue had more kids. Ron said that she had more kids with the other husband. Howard asked Ron to fill them in on the story quickly. He said he wanted to know how he ended up with Blue.
Ron said that they had the kid and raised it while Blue was off married to this other guy. Ron said they had a bitter divorce and her husband got custody of her two boys. He doesn't know why or what happened there. She returned to San Francisco. In 1977 Blue had a nervous breakdown. Ron said that she was taking to a hospital in San Francisco and kept there in a mental ward for 4 months against her will. She got electro shock therapy several times. She was also given strong doses of some drugs for her brain.
Ron said that in 1983 he got a call from Blue who was looking for her son. She waited 18 years before she wanted to meet her son. Ron told her to come on down and meet her son. Ron said they told the son that he was adopted. Ron said he picked her up at the airport and she was very fetching. He said he got her a room at a hotel.
Ron said Blue told him what happened to her in her life and he asked her why she didn't call. He said her electro shock memory made her lose some of her memory. She said the records were sealed so she didn't know how to get in touch. She remembered his red hair though and that stayed in her mind even after the shock therapy.
Howard said that was some saga there. He had to cut him off because he was going into way too much detail. Howard said that Blue was in a committed deep love with Ron. Artie said Howard is very much like Blue in that way. He asked Howard if he had urine in his feet too. Howard said ''Yeeesss'' in that blue Iris voice.
Ron said that Blue told him that she had been in love with him all those 18 years that she hadn't seen him. Howard said that blue was working on a film when she left them. You can get that at HardCoreCircusXXX.com. Ron said that it's a circus plot.
Robin asked if Blue's son approved of what she was doing. Ron said her kids loved their mother. Irish John called in and said that he'd like to hear the replay of Blue Iris' ''Tissue Time'' show. He said he was one of the lucky people to have called into that show.
Howard said that Blue will be greatly missed. He said that Blue was a lovely lady and he had conversations with her on and off the air. He said she was delightful and lovely. She loved life too. They spent a few more minutes talking about Blue and took some calls about her.
Ron said that they'll never have another girl like Blue. He told Howard how much she loved all of them and how she felt she was part of the family. Howard said she was part of the family.
Howard asked Ron if he's going to start dating anyone. Ron said that he thinks he's not going to be dating anytime soon. Howard gave Ron some plugs for the new film and thanked Ron for coming in. Howard said it's wild that he ended up marrying the woman who gave birth to the child he and his wife adopted. Ron said that Patty loved Blue and Blue loved Patty as well. Howard said he's sorry for his loss and that Blue is gone. Howard said it must be very painful. Ron said he was lucky to have her that 25 years. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and took a call from a woman who said she's a huge fan of theirs but thinks that they need to be honest with Artie about the show he was on last night. She said the segment went downhill so fast. She thought that it was awful and he was all about himself and not about anyone else there.
The caller said that Artie just goes off and he went too far in the second segment. Artie said the first segment was what aired on TV and the second one was on the internet.
Steve Langford came in with his Howard 100 News preview. Steve said they have a story about High Pitch Eric being evicted from his apartment. Eric had his dog and two cats with him out on the stoop. His stuff is still piled up in the hall of the building he was kicked out of.
Steve said that Captain Janks is going back to court today and may be kept out of jail thanks to Artie's benefit show. There is still one place that wants Janks jailed for ripping them off though.
Steve said the auction for Gary's baseball and jersey is still going and the bids are up to $7,500. The bid to to sit in the studio is up to $15,000.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap up Show preview. He ran down his list of subjects for today's show and that led to Howard and Robin talking about the Bang My Dad game. They spent a minute on that. Howard said that Gary was out in the hall getting pitching advice from Ron. Gary said Ron told him he should be able to throw a ball 60 feet 6 inches. Gary said he knows that.
Howard said he found the daughter in the mother daughter team to be very hot. Artie agreed. Fred said she was very cute and he dug her small tits.
Jon ran down a few more subjects and mentioned the David Letterman apology. Howard said that he just read that Palin has accepted his apology. Howard said he hopes they can get back to more important things.
Howard took a call from a guy who was calling in from South Korea. The guy said he wanted Ron to stick around because it was the most interesting interview he's heard. Howard said that they had to honor his story but it may have gone on a little too long. Howard said he got lost in that story and didn't know where he was.
The caller said that he was listening to Sirius online over in South Korea. He's over there teaching English. The guy was going on and on so Howard said he was starting to miss Ron. Howard asked the guy if he can get laid over there. He said that he can but you need to speak Korean if you want to get the quality stuff.
Robin started off with a story about DC Comics releasing a weekly series of Superman comics. That will be coming out in July and appear in USA Today. Howard said he's a big fan of all of that so he's happy to hear about that. They spent a few minutes talking about comic books after that since Howard is such a huge fan.
Robin read a story about a study done that shows that cat owners may have less of a chance of a heart attack than non-cat owners. Owning a cat may help. She had some audio of an Indian doctor talking about that and Howard said he gets nervous when he hears an accent like that. Howard said he was more confused after hearing that clip than he was during Ron's stories earlier. Howard said his parents blood pressure would go up if they had a cat in the house. He did an impression of his mother talking about that.
Robin read a story about an 18 year old who allegedly killed 19 cats. Robin said he was in court to answer those charges yesterday. They've found over 30 cats mutilated in the area. Howard said that's sick as can be and they say that kids who can do that will most likely go on to kill people. Robin said that this kid was posing the dead animals and he knew some of the people whose cats they stole. He was nice to the cats when they'd see him around them.
Artie said he had a story about cat abuse but Howard said he didn't want to hear it. Artie said it was about a kid who he knew. Howard said it's too much of a bummer. Artie said that kid is dead now. Howard said he didn't want to know but then said he did want to know. He went back and forth on that for a minute. Howard said he was afraid he was going to throw up. Artie said this guy died of a heroin overdose. He said it was really bad. Howard said he didn't want to know.
Robin read a story about how half of British people couldn't find the human heart when asked where it's located. Howard said he can do that, all he has to do is pretend he's saying the pledge of allegiance.
Robin said that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are back in the news. They're off of ''I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.'' Artie said that he's hooked on that show now. He said the show is so bad that it doesn't need an explanation.
Robin said that Heidi and Spencer were interviewed by Al Roker and they were insulted by the interview. They responded to that in an online video. Heidi forgave him and said that the devil gets into all of them sometimes so she forgave Al. They didn't like Al asking them about being known as spoiled and bratty. They didn't seem to know who Al Roker was. Robin said that Heidi is also supposed to be appearing in Playboy magazine.
Howard didn't know who she even was. Artie said she's just a rich kid who has a TV show. He said they're just obnoxious asswipes.
Robin read about Lindsay Lohan being investigated about a missing $500,000 necklace that disappeared during a photo shoot. They tried to get in touch with her after the photo shoot but didn't hear back from her according to the article.
Robin read about Coldplay and how Yusef Islam won't be suing them. He believes that they copied one of his songs but didn't do it intentionally so he won't be suing. Robin played some of his song and then some of Coldplay's song that sounded similar. Howard said there was also a Joe Satriani song that sounded similar to that as well.
Robin read about what's going on in Iran with the riots over the election that happened this week. The citizens over there are protesting and people are dying. They think that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad fixed the election because he won with 63 percent of the vote. Howard said those people over there have balls to be protesting. They spent a few minutes talking about that.
Robin read about Bernie Madoff and his ripping off of many people. Some of the people who were ripped off are writing to the judge in the case asking him not to take it easy on this guy during sentencing.
Robin read about the Church of Scientology possibly being banned in France. Artie said he's moving to France. Robin read that story and said that some of the church leaders over there are being charged with crimes and sent to jail.
Robin read a story about a dog that was flushed down a toilet but lived. A 4 year old boy accidentally flushed the dog after it got muddy. Robin said the dog was only 1 week old according to the story. They found the dog under a neighbor's house in the pipes. They got the dog out through a manhole cover.
Artie said that during ''Sam's Game'' they had a girl, Jen, on the show who was going by the fake name ''Genocide.'' She said that no one minds the name other than the Jews.
Robin said that there was hail in some parts of New York yesterday. Howard said he saw 3 inches of hail had fallen in parts of New Jersey. He said he saw a guy using a snow blower to get rid of it. Robin said that they're having the craziest weather. Artie said that the weather out in L.A. was awful too while he was out there. He said he was there 4 days and it was shitty the whole time.
Robin read some news about the Don't Ask, Don't Tell laws in the military and how it's starting to hurt. They're losing troops when they need them most. Howard said it's insane that they have people who want to serve and they can't.
Robin said that Bruce Willis talks about his failed marriage with Demi Moore in an article. She said that he still loves her and still respects her for the way she lives her life.
Robin said that Carnie Wilson has had another child. Michael Strahan is marrying Eddie Murphy's ex-wife. Howard said it sounds like they're going to have a lot of fun.
Robin read about Megan Fox being single again. Gary said that she's going to be in town next week and he's trying to get her booked. He said that she's very busy but he didn't get a ''no'' from her people. Howard said he hopes he can make that happen. Howard said he saw pictures of Megan on the internet and she was wearing a see through dress and her nipples looked really hard in the picture. He told Beth she has to get that dress. Robin said that Megan was also talking about how she'd like to date Angelina Jolie if she were single. Howard said that's hot and anyone who thinks there's anything wrong with that is just not right in the head.
Robin had some audio of Larry David talking about doing a movie with Woody Allen. They spent a minute on that and then ended the show around 10:30am.
Artie said that he was told to go nuts on the show and Joe told him to come at him on the show. The guys talked about some of the things that went on there. Artie said that producer Ross Greenburg told him that if things got boring out there with Paul and Jason then he should go nuts. Artie said that's what they wanted him there for.
Nick DiPaolo had stopped by after Gary saw him out in the hall. Artie said that Nick could relate to what he was doing. Artie said that Joe Buck was being kind of condescending to him on the show too. He said that's why he was doing what he was doing.
Artie said that he and Conan have the same kind of rapport but Conan is smart and gets it. He said that this show doesn't seem to get it. Artie said that if he was up there with Nick and Dave Attell or someone then he would have shut up. He said he thinks that Joe Buck loves that he's getting all of this publicity.
Artie said that he heard from reporters and people like Paul Rudd who told him he did great on that show. Artie said that he did a great job on the show and that guy Joe thinks he's better than him and he's not.
Gary didn't think that was the case with Joe thinking that he was better than him. Artie said he likes Joe Buck and he'll always love him and his father. Artie said his impression of his father was great. Artie said he thinks that this is one of his best appearances of his career.
Nick asked what they were expecting to get from Artie. Artie said they're ripping off some other shows like Bill Maher and shows like that. He said you need a little something else in there if you're going to go with a comic like him.
Gary read some of Joe Buck's comments about the show and he said he did think it was a good show even if Artie may have taken it a little far. Buck said that he wished he had kept it a notch lower. Artie asked why he didn't ask for the other guests to bring it up a notch.
Jon asked the guys if they ever saw the Costas Now show that this show is based off of. Gary said he saw it once last year and it was very sports centered. Jon said that's what this show is supposed to be too. He said they change it toward the end of the show to bring in some comics who are sports fans.
Artie said that he would have done the same kind of show if he had Bob Costas interviewing him. Artie said there was a live audience there that he was entertaining. He said he did what he had to do.
Artie kept repeating that Paul Rudd had told him he killed there. He said those guys are funny but they weren't really begin funny last night. He said he would never do that to other comics if they were being funny and doing material.
Jon played Howard and Robin's reactions to Artie's appearance after they played the clip. They both liked it. The guys spent some time talking about that and talking about some of the feedback they got about Artie's appearance.
Nick said that everyone is uptight and that's what this society has become. Gary said that it was just one guy who wrote to them. Gary said that they got some feedback from one sports guy and Nick and Artie were flipping out about it.
Jon took some calls and one guy told Artie he kicked ass on that show and it was pure comedy genius. Artie said that this is the kind of guy he's doing that for. Another caller said Gary is picking on Artie and he has to stop. He said Artie killed on that show. The caller went off on Gary about some stuff he thought he had said about Artie's young girlfriend. Gary said he didn't say anything about her.
Artie knew that Gary didn't say anything about his girl. He said he knows he never would. Artie said that Gary owes him a couple of bashings based on what he's done to him.
Jon took some more calls and there were more guys saying that what Artie did was great. One guy said that he didn't think Mariann had the right to go off on him. Artie said that he feels bad about the stuff he says to Mariann but that's just based on where he was raised. He said that he hates to call any Italian mother the C-word.
Gary asked Artie why she gets under his skin so much. Artie said that it's her voice and he has to deal with her at work every day. He said she doesn't get to Ralph because Ralph can roll over and go back to fucking the guy in his bed or fucking the Star Wars figure he's busy fucking.
Benjy said that Artie also talked about how much he loved Joe's father and did that great impression and no one is bringing that up. Artie said he really did love Jack Buck. That led to Artie doing his impression of the guy again. He did the exact impression he did last night on Joe Buck Live and added one that he didn't get to.
Artie said that he told Joe he loved him too. He said that he was killing and getting cheers. Gary said that the people aren't saying that he bombed. He said that they're just saying that he may have been over the top a little bit.
A caller said that he still thinks that Artie is a jerk off. Artie knew that the guy didn't hate him and he was just busting balls. Artie had the guy laughing before he hung up.
Another caller said that he thought it came off a little mean spirited. Nick sighed when he heard that. The caller said he didn't bomb but it was mean spirited. Nick said he didn't see this appearance so he didn't know what to say about it but he didn't like these people saying it was ''mean spirited.'' He said that a 30 year old man shouldn't be saying that.
Artie asked the guy what was mean spirited about it. The caller said that Artie seemed to be trying to be a bad ass and it was already done by Howard. Artie said this guy sounds like a moron. The caller said that it didn't offend him, it just seemed like he was trying to be outrageous and he didn't need to. Artie and the caller went back and forth arguing about that for a short time. Artie told the guy to shut up and go back to cleaning his bong. He told him he sounded like a wussy talking about being mean spirited.
Jon tried to get control of the show back but the guys were talking over him. He asked the caller if he found Artie funny on that show. The guy said he did but he made the interview uncomfortable. Nick said that's good entertainment. Artie said he was just trying to be funny. The caller said Artie just made it about himself. Artie said that's what comedians do.
Another caller said that Artie jumped the shark when he got off of heroin. Artie said he just got back on it yesterday so he'll be happy about that. He was just joking, right? Artie said that doing heroin is a dead end road and it's just not good. He said that he missed Christmases and stuff like that. Nick said that he was enticing him back to doing it saying that.
Artie said that even Howard let him know that he's been too energetic lately. He said they made some adjustments on the show over that.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Artie that he needs to work on his act instead of going to racism and stuff like that in his act. Artie said he has an hour and 20 minutes of new material in his act and he'll give her a copy of the DVD he just shot. Mariann said that Artie doesn't give anyone a chance to give their opinion.
Artie apologized to Mariann for what he said to her earlier. He said that he feels bad about that. Mariann asked him to do her a favor and take 5 words out of his vocabulary. Artie thought she said that he only had 5 words in his vocabulary. She asked him to take ''gay, nigger and homo'' out of his vocabulary for a week and she would agree not to call in for a week. She said Artie went over the top and she's not sure why he's over the top so much lately.
Artie said that coming from a crazy lady he's not surprised she doesn't understand a crazy person. Artie called her a cunt a few more times after the call. Gary said he thought he felt bad about that. Artie said that he didn't feel bad after this call.
Artie and Mariann were yelling at each other and Mariann's voice was getting worse and worse as it went along. Nick told her to clear the load out of her throat. Nick told Artie he should use his favorite line of ''I hope you find a nice lump in your armpit'' that he uses for hecklers. He said he used to use that as his last one but these days he uses it as his first.
Another caller said that this is the wussification of America with all of these callers complaining. Benjy asked what the fall out is going to be after this. Artie said that they're going to have a bunch of comedians on who are safe.
Gary said that he put in a request to have Joe Buck on the show tomorrow. He said he doesn't think that Joe is mad. He said that it turned out to be pretty good for them publicity wise and Joe isn't as upset as they're making it seem. Artie said he won't go back on that show even if they asked him to go back on.
A caller told Artie that he doesn't get why Howard has turned the show over to Artie lately. He said that he doesn't find him funny at all and he's not sure why he lets him take over so much.
The caller said that before Howard went to therapy he never would have put up with what Artie does these days. The caller said that Artie retold a story in the news today even though Howard told him that he had already told him the story.
Artie told the caller that he will give him his money back for his subscription so he can get his money back. Artie said he will fly to wherever he lives and pay him for it. He said he'll meet him at the Wendy's he works at or wherever. The caller said he paid for SIRIUS to hear the Howard Stern Show and not the Artie Lange Show. Artie offered to pay for the guy's subscription every month. The caller said that Artie talks over 80 percent of the show and he's tired of it. He said Howard has to be out of his fucking mind to keep him on the show.
The caller said that he's also gotten more pussy than Artie has ever gotten. Artie said that he'd bet him on that.
Artie said he's serious about paying for this guy's subscription. He said he will pay for the whole thing every month. He said that he's going to send two of his buddies, Vinnie and Tony, over to give him a check. Nick said he liked the tone that this guy had yelling at Artie. They liked the way he was getting really mad and screaming.
Jon asked Nick what he was doing up there. Nick said he saw some hot chick walking in and followed her in. (He was actually on Opie and Anthony.) Nick got in some plugs for some upcoming appearances he had. Check out NickDip.com for more. They went to break after that.
Jon said that he Joe Buck thing has caused a lot of controversy today. Gary said that they've talked about that for a good portion of the show today.
Jon moved on to talk about the Bang My Dad game. Gary said he missed a lot of the segment. He said he was on the phone most of the time. Gary said it looked interesting on the monitor.
Benjy said that he doesn't see anything wrong with the daughters trying to get their dad sex. He said that he doesn't think that it's that bad. He said it was a little shocking.
Jon asked Will if it was tough to pull off the contest. Will said that they had one couple drop out at the last minute. The wife and the husband apparently made up at the last minute. Will said the guy being married was kind of wild and that kind of freaked Howard out.
Jon had Teddy play a clip from the segment where they were talking about Matt's win. The guys talked about how Howard was kind of acting strange about the whole thing since the guy was married.
Gary said that Ron Jeremy has been there so many times and never gets in the door. Gary said he was up there today and he was sleeping and snoring in the green room with Dennis Hof. He said it was pretty funny to see.
A caller said that she wanted to comment on Artie. She hoped he wasn't in the studio. Gary said he was gone. She said that Artie's anger at women has become overwhelming. Gary said he's just angry at Mariann, not women in general. The woman said that he gets vicious with women every day almost. She said that he just goes off on them and she's not sure why. Gary said he didn't think that Artie was singling out women. He said he's not a doctor or a shrink but he thinks that Artie has woken up and he's rediscovering everything now that he's sober.
The woman asked them to replay the Cookie Pus segment on Friday this week. Gary said he doubts that will happen but he said he'd look into it.
Jon brought up Ellie and Desi and said that it seemed that Ellie had a lot of fans in there. Will said that she was pretty attractive and so were some of the other Bunny Ranch girls who have come in there lately. Will said that their relationship is kind of weird though. He said that Desi was telling him how she has to scold her daughter for not cleaning up their room at the ranch. Will said that it's just a strange relationship. Jon said that when you put a contest like that together you have to expect strange things like that.
Gary said Ed has been leaving a lot of voice mails for him and they're weird. Ed left him one about the Homeless Game and the woman who won. Ed said that was supposed to be his money. He said he was going to ask if he could play the game and that would have been his money. Gary said that it wasn't his money and he didn't play the game so it's not his money. Ed said he was going to ask to play so it is his money.
Gary said that Ed has brought up some other strange things and he's not sure why he thinks that he's not giving him money he's owed. Ed said that chick Renee got his fuckin' money and he wants Howard to pick up on him.
Another caller said that Artie was an unfunny fat fuck. He also said that he thinks that the girls working together is the way they were brought up. Gary said he doesn't have a problem with it but if it was his mother and sister then he might have a major problem with it.
Another caller said that Artie is good for the show and Howard knows what's best for the show. That's why he keeps him on. Gary said they all love Artie there.
Another caller said that every woman who calls in has a point and they don't seem to listen to them. She thought Gary had stuck up for Artie earlier but Gary said he didn't do that. He said that he was explaining to the woman why Artie might be acting the way he has. The caller said that there is an edge there that wasn't there before and they need to listen to what they're saying when they call in.
The woman on the phone said that she actually let Benjy stay at her place for a while. She said that she let him stay there while the family was away for the summer. She said that she let Benjy sleep on the couch and he became a part of the family. The guys asked how he was as a tenant. She said that he was great. She said that he had cleaned the apartment and he would bake cookies and stuff for them. She said he even filled the apartment with flowers.
Gary said that might be the single nicest thing that anyone has ever done for someone from the show. Benjy said that he thanked her with the cookies and flowers. Will asked if he had sex with anyone while he was staying there. Benjy didn't remember.
Ralph called in and asked if he could stay there too. She said that they could talk. She said that she had some neighbors come over and suntan outside on the deck so he must have seen some bodies there. She said that the deck is 60 feet long by 3 feet wide. She said it used to be a hotel and they had a restaurant that used the deck in the past.
Jon asked Ralph about the way he hit Artie so bad this morning. Ralph explained why he said what he said and how he wasn't even going to say anything today. He said that he didn't think that Artie ''killed'' like he thought he had so he called in about it.
Gary said that he doesn't think that Joe even thinks that he could go toe to toe with Artie. He said that even Joe knew he was going to get hammered when he joked about Artie and Artie shot back at him. He said that Joe knows he's not in the same league as Artie is.
Ralph said this was a sports talk show and Artie made a mess of the show. He said that's why he called in. He said that Artie doing the cigarette thing was kind of childish too. Benjy said he saw it and the audience was laughing. Ralph said he knew someone who was there and they said it was just weird.
Gary and Ralph spent a short time talking about that as they were coming to the end of the show. Ralph said he knows Artie is mad at him now but that was his opinion of what happened. He said he was just being honest. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show saying that Artie is the talk of the town. He said he was on the HBO show ''Joe Buck Live'' on Monday night and everyone is making a big deal out of his language on the show. Howard said that's weird to him because they have the Cathouse show on HBO and they have people fucking on that. Artie said they had Sex and the City on HBO and the language on that show even offended him. Howard said ''no it didn't.''
Robin said there was no cursing on the Bob Costas show. Artie said it isn't the Costas show though. Howard said he thinks those guys were blown out by the language because they were expecting him to act like he does on other talk shows.
Artie said he did an interview with the NY Times yesterday. He said it's gotten out of hand. Howard said he heard he was blacklisted from HBO sports shows. Artie said that could hurt his career.
Howard read an article about Artie's ban. That came after his appearance on Joe Buck Live. Howard said he didn't even know who Joe Buck was until this appearance. Howard read that HBO people are saying that they don't want him to do any HBO sports shows or Joe Buck Live.
Howard read about how Artie was on with Paul Rudd but said that Paul didn't even get a word in. He said Paul wasn't even trying though. Artie said that people were telling him they should have him back on right away.
Artie said that Ross Greenburg didn't give him any guidelines so he's not sure why they're so upset. He said that he's told the guidelines when he does something like Letterman.
Howard read that Ross Greenburg was saying that he asked Artie to have some energy on the show if it got a little slow. Artie said that kid Jason was whooping it up when he started goofing on Joe and all he did was kill on that show. He said he doesn't care if he's ever on HBO again though. He said there are guys who have HBO specials that open up for him on the road so it's Howard's show that counts, not HBO.
Artie said that Tim Sabean asked him to call into Chris Russo yesterday. He said he wouldn't have done that if Tim didn't ask him to. Fred said he heard that and Chris Russo wasn't Artie's friend.
Howard said Artie got angry with Chris and he doesn't need to do that. Artie said he heard that Russo was bashing him and then Tim asked him to call in to defend himself. Howard said he heard that Artie bashed Chris' old partner Mike Fracessa and it turned out Mike was defending Artie on his show.
Howard played the clip of Artie on Chris ''Mad Dog'' Russo's show. In the clip Artie was telling Chris to watch the fuckin' tape. Chris said he's a big fan of Artie's but he wasn't funny. Artie said that he's a big fan f Chris' too but he doesn't know anything about being funny.
Chris told Artie that Billy Crystal didn't think it was funny. Artie went on to say that Billy is full of himself and he's taking things too far these days. He said he doesn't give a fuck what he thinks is funny and his fans thought it was funny.
In the clip Artie was insisting that he was funny. He said that he doesn't respect Chris' opinion on comedy. He said that Michael Irvin can judge him too though so Chris wondered why that was. Chris and Artie went back and forth on that for a couple of minutes.
Chris and Artie talked about comedy and who they find funny. Chris told Artie that he doesn't have to use dirty language to be funny. Artie said he works blue and that's just the way it is.
Howard asked when Billy Crystal commented on Artie's appearance. Artie said he never did. He said that Russo doesn't even know who Norm MacDonald is and thought that it was the Norm from Cheers. Howard and Robin said that Chris was funny arguing about this stuff in the clip. Howard said he thinks it's funny whenever anyone argues about being funny.
Howard said Artie seems to think that everyone is fucking with him and he gets really upset about it. Artie said that people are fucking with him but he's fine. He said he's in therapy and he's got a lot of anger in him. He said he is working on that though.
Fred told Artie to book a triple session in therapy. He said that Chris Russo has no reason to comment on comedy. He said he doesn't think that he's a fan of Artie's either. Fred said that's just an excuse to bash Artie to his face. Fred said that Chris' favorite comedian is Carroll O'Connor so that shows that he's out of touch.
Fred said Mad Dog didn't even see the show. He said he watched it on YouTube or heard the tapes. He didn't see the whole show from what he heard. He apparently admitted that on his show about an hour after Artie was on.
Artie said he went on Mad Dog's show a couple of weeks ago and did even more shit than he did on Joe Buck's show so he's not sure why he's so upset. Artie said it was like 10 times worse.
Howard had more of Artie and Chris Russo arguing. In the clip Chris asked Artie if he could stop with the language on his show. Chris said in his book and videos he knows what he's going to get. He told him he could calm down on the TV shows. Artie asked Chris if he could calm down a little bit. Chris said he was calm. Artie said that he wants to be funny in his own way and he's not going to censor himself in any way. He said Howard Stern went through hell to get to be where he's at and he's following him. He told Chris that Mike Francessa picked on him too so he went off on him for being so fat. Artie said he's from the streets so he's going to hit someone back if they hit him.
Chris told Artie that he worked with Mike for 19 years and he never said a word about Artie. Artie said he said something according to his friend. It had just happened that day and Chris didn't hear that. Artie told him that's because he's busy screaming.
Artie said he was told that Francessa trashed him but then he got a call saying that he didn't so he's not sure what happened. He actually called Chris back and apologized to Mike. Artie said he had to apologize to the guy. Howard had that audio clip as well.
Artie called Chris back and told him that he heard from people that he did great on that show and before he was on it was a borefest. He and Chris spent a couple more minutes talking about it. Artie said that he's just trying to keep from becoming a longshoreman again. He said he's just being true to his comedy like Richard Pryor was.
Howard asked if it's true that Mike Francessa had to buy three seats. Artie said that he is a big guy. Howard said Artie must be tired from this. Artie said it really is tiring him out but there's a war on right now. Howard said Artie sounds like Crazy Alice. Artie did his impression of her for a few seconds.
Howard had the audio of Mike Francessa talking about Artie and how he saved the show. Artie said he was sorry for bashing him. He said that he's looking thinner after he heard the clip.
Howard told Artie he can't comment on someone based on a phone call. Howard said Mike's ass is as beautiful as Carmen Electra's.
Howard played more of the Mike Francessa audio and Mike was saying he doesn't condone what Artie did but he did sit and watch it and it was much more interesting to watch Buck squirm. He said he didn't know that much about that Jason guy but he knew who Paul Rudd was. Mike said Artie's tirade was vulgar and he's not sure why they'd want to be associated with him. He said it was ugly and the only thing that made it worth discussing was that Artie did what he did.
Mike and his partner were talking about what HBO and Artie were saying about the appearance. Mike said the show was a bore fest though and Artie agreed with him on that.
Howard said he thought it was wild that HBO bleeped the entire clip on their web site. They're uptight about the language for some strange reason. Howard said they must want to be like the regular networks. Artie said he was such a fan of HBO sports. He said he loves their sports coverage and they do a great job covering that stuff. He said he loved Bob Costas too. He said they don't love him though.
Artie said that he was telling the NY Times about what Ross Greenburg told him. He said that Ross told him, with a big smile on his face, that if those two guys got boring then he was there to add some energy to it. He said Ross didn't tell him to go nuts but he did say to give it some energy. He said that Joe Buck also asked him to ''Let me have it.'' He said he's not sure what he expected him to do. Artie explained what he did just like he did 10 times yesterday.
Howard said he heard that HBO pulled the Artie clip from YouTube. He had some other clips where people were talking about this appearance. He had some guys talking about how Paul Rudd didn't even get a word in because of Artie's hijacking of that show. One of the guys in this clip was saying that Artie never shuts up ever since he got off heroin.
Howard had another clip from another sports show where they talked about Artie's appearance. That show was actually on SIRIUS.
Howard had a bunch of various clips from ESPN and things like that. He played clip after clip about the same stuff.
Howard said that he's trying to understand this whole thing because HBO is bleeping it and YouTube removed the unbleeped version from their site. He said HBO may have asked them to remove it.
Artie said that show was a big deal for him because he was asked to go on a live sports show on HBO. He said that Joe treated him really nice when he was leaving and it made it seem like he did a good job. Artie said he didn't even know he was going to be sticking around for the extra internet show they did. He said that if they got Paul Rudd and Jason on the phone, he's sure that Paul would tell him what he said to him after the interview.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and asked Artie if he has anything better to do than to call a lame radio show. Howard said Tim asked him to do that.
Mariann asked Howard if he's upset about Artie using his name the way he does on these shows. Howard said Artie works with him so of course he's not upset with that. He said Artie is just trying to explain that he respects his opinion. Mariann told Artie to chill out and move on from this. Artie said he's very calm, he doesn't need to calm down.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Artie is a fat little fuck and he's like a road that was paved twice, ''re-tard'' Artie said that was a great joke there. He asked if he could use that in his act.
The caller was saying that Artie has become vicious lately and Howard said that's what a lot of people are saying lately. Howard said he can't believe people are carrying on about this.
Howard asked Artie if he was turned on by the attention. Artie said he was. He said everyone like his agent thinks it's great. He said the sales of his book went through the roof after this all happened.
Howard told Artie not to get affected by what people are saying. Artie said he's not. He said he doesn't really mind it at all. He said he's just kind of sitting there and people are coming to him about it.
Robin was asking Howard if he would go to therapy about something like this. Howard said he might go to find out why he'd care so much. Howard said he thinks all of this excitement and turmoil is keeping Artie from getting to what's really wrong in his life. Artie said he agrees with him on that.
Robin said she went through stuff like that in therapy. She said that a lot of your unexpressed anger rises to the surface in the beginning. She said that it all comes out and that might be what's going on with Artie right now.
Artie said he's working on it and he's calling his therapist when he needs the guy's help. Howard told him that he might need to be in therapy 5 days a week in the beginning. Artie said that he doesn't have a set time or day for going in to see the guy. He said they set it up at the beginning of the week. Artie said it's going to cost him a lot of money but the therapy is going to cost less than the heroin he was buying.
Artie said he heard that John Lennon and Yoko Ono were doing $5,000 a week worth of heroin in the 1970s. Artie said he was paying guys to deliver to him. The most he ever spent in one week was probably... then he cut himself off and said he didn't want to say. He said he was having it delivered a couple times a week when it was going on.
Artie said he never shot up so he didn't use as much as John Lennon may have been using shooting it up. Artie said that he probably wasn't spending as much as they were if you adjusted the amount to today's money. Artie said he never smoked cocaine either. He said he just said no to it because he felt it was another level.
Howard asked Artie if he thinks he's insane. Artie said he doesn't but he's gone through some crazy shit. He said his father asked him to kill him one time. He said the last four years of his life he had to wipe his father's nose after growing up with is father playing ball with him. He said he never went to therapy for that.
Howard said he heard the stories about Artie's father doing outrageous things in his life and he wondered if Artie's negative behavior was a way to emulate that. Artie said that he's right about that and that might be where his behavior comes from. Artie said that he did think that's what a man was, a guy who did wild things like his father did.
Robin said that being insane is something that you can't be cured of. She said you'd need medication to keep you under control. Howard said he was asking Artie if he was insane and he's not even sure himself if he is. Howard said he thinks that Artie needs to find out what's really going on with him and Artie needs to know what's going on with him. He said he loves Artie and doesn't want to see anything bad happen to him.
Howard said that if Artie is insane, they can medicate him and he can have a good life. He said he knows people in his life that are mentally ill and they get medicated and live normal lives.
Artie tried to commit suicide once and that worries Howard. Artie said he had done coke for 3 days straight and ran out. That's why he tried to kill himself. Artie said he doesn't think that he's insane. Howard said that could be what's behind the drug use though. It might be a self-medicating thing. Robin thought that's what it could be too.
Artie asked Howard if he thinks that he has made an adjustment to the talking too much on the show thing. Howard said he has done that a little bit but not that much. He said there is something going on that concerns him. He said that Artie doing his own rehab isn't going to work. Howard said that coming off of heroin is something tough and he doesn't think that Artie knows the psychological addiction. He said that he has to fill that with something and he's not sure how he's going to handle that.
Howard said he can't handle his feelings so that's why he's in therapy 3 days a week. Artie said he's going to ask for more days then. He's going 2 days a week now but he'll ask for more.
Howard told Artie that if he's so self evolved that he can figure this stuff out on his own then never mind. Artie said he's not like that and he does need help. Artie said that this conversation alone makes him feel better. Artie said that's because he's with people he respects. He respects this therapist he's seeing too. He said that's why he's going to that guy.
Robin said that Artie has to go through the rough patches as well as this honeymoon phase he's in now. Howard said he had to do that. He wanted out of therapy many times but he had to stick with it to get better. Howard said Artie has to stick with it as well and he has to figure out what's wrong with him.
Howard said this is a topic for off the air. Artie said ''so lets do it on the air.'' Howard said he thinks this Joe Buck thing weighs on him more than he thinks it does. Howard said Artie is caught up in a lot there and he's busy doing so many things. He said that he just got off of heroin and it's going to be a rough time for him. He needs time to just sit down and get in touch with his thoughts. He said he doesn't see that happening there. Howard said it seems that he's running around and he's got a lot of energy being expelled.
Artie said that he called his shrink one day and he even told him that his schedule was nuts. Artie said he's busy unit July 1st. He said this month is nuts.
Howard told Artie that he's a good friend and a great guy and he hopes the audience doesn't forget that. Howard said he knows he's a good hearted soul and he hopes he can take some time for himself. He told him to go to a shrink and just take some time to himself and stop with the comedy gigs for a little while.
Howard said this whole thing is complicated but he doesn't think that Artie is really insane. Artie said he doesn't think he'd keep an insane person in that studio. Howard said they don't know what's really going on inside of Artie. That's why he's going to therapy. Even Howard doesn't know what's going on inside himself so that's why he's going to therapy.
Robin said she was watching a special about Hunter S. Thompson and saw how much pain he was in through his life. She said she hopes that Artie isn't like that. Artie said he's definitely not in that bad of a place. Howard had to go to break a short time later. He said they have the Bang My Dad people coming back in to talk about what happened yesterday.
Artie said he was told he's lucky to be healthy after everything he's done. He said he wants to live a long time but that might not make the people on the SternFanNetwork happy. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Tim Sabean was in there. He must have gone shopping because he had new clothes on. He had new jeans and a shirt that was unbuttoned down to his belly. Howard said Tim is now ''Disco Tim'' after losing 80 pounds.
Tim said the jacket he had on was new because none of his old clothes fit him anymore. Howard said his shirt was unbuttoned to turn on the ladies. Artie asked him if he consulted a stylist. Tim said he has a woman who does do some consulting. Tim said he can't shop or match socks so he needs help. Howard said Tim had a bunch of buttons unbuttoned. Tim said he just got dressed and it was just one button.
Howard said they had to get to the Bang My Dad contest winners. He had Desi and Ellie Foxx come in. They were the hookers or whores from the Bunny Ranch that were in yesterday to play the game. Howard said that they were dressed sexy this morning and Ellie looked like a cheerleader.
Howard had Jennifer and Jackie come in too. They're Matt's daughters. Matt is the guy who won the contest yesterday. Howard asked the girls what they did yesterday. They said they were in the hotel lobby staying busy with Dennis Hof and Ron Jeremy. They were kept busy with them.
Howard had Matt's wife on the phone too so he asked her what she thought about the whole thing. She was actually fine with it. Howard found that kind of odd. He asked the girls if they found it strange. The girls said that they think their mother is a little odd but they knew that already so it's not a surprise.
Howard asked the wife about why she would let this happen and why she's not jealous. She said that she thinks that it's fine to let Matt go out and try something new as long as she knows he's coming back. Howard asked if she's afraid that this is going to open the door to something outside of the marriage and it will destroy their intimacy. She said no.
Howard asked the wife if she had any fantasies about being with another man. She said she doesn't. She said they have a little one at home and she's looking forward to the next phase in their life. She said that it's okay if they explore new paths in their life. She said they know that they're going to be okay.
Howard asked the daughters what they thought of the whole thing. One of the girls said that Desi and Ellie were really nice and they loved them. Desi said they'd like to have the whole family out to the Bunny Ranch.
Richie Wilson said they had some video if the girls wanted to see that. They didn't want to see it.
Howard asked Ellie to tell them what happened after the show. She said they went to the hotel and threw Matt down on him and got on each side of him. He still had clothes on when he got into bed. He had his shirt off but pants were on.
Howard asked the girls if they took their clothes off immediately. They said that they did a strip tease and lap dance. They found out he likes to spank. The daughters knew that. Howard asked if that came to a shock. They said they live in a small house so they knew that. Howard asked the mom if she likes to be spanked. She said she didn't know.
Howard asked Matt if he likes that kind of thing. Matt said ''Why not?'' Artie asked if anyone there was insane. Howard said that Artie might be the least insane person in the room right now.
Ellie said that Matt knows how to treat a woman right so things were going well. Ellie said Matt never had anyone deep throat him before so that's what they tried. Matt's wife, Dorothy, said that she had never done that. Desi said that Matt is a good size too. Howard said this was unbelievable. Howard said Joe Buck's show was suddenly looking normal.
Desi said that she did some deep throating too. She said they had a competition going on and Ellie won that. Howard asked who finished him off. Desi said she did. She said she was in the doggy position since Matt does like to spank.
Matt said that he's not sure why he likes that. Desi said he kind of went ''Yee Haw!'' during that. Howard asked Dorothy if she was jealous of this. She said she wasn't. Desi said she knows she has a great man there so that's why she's not jealous.
Howard asked Matt if there was any kissing going on. He said there was. The girls said that they do kiss. Howard asked Matt how long he lasted. Desi said he may have gone 10 or 12. She said that he was pretty ready by the time he got in there.
Howard asked Matt if he's going to look for other sexual experiences with someone other than his wife. He said he probably will. Dorothy said that she'll take care of that when he gets home. She said she's not going to get mad at him though.
Robin said she thinks that they're going to start swinging and try some new things. Howard wondered why they would bring the daughters into it though. The girls said they're the ones who brought their father into this.
Ellie said that it sounds like the girls were mad at their mom and that's why they brought their dad into this. Dorothy said that the girls were fighting with her and their father got caught in the middle. The girls said that their mom is tough to deal with and they were just trying to reward their father with something special.
Dorothy said that Matt isn't there all the time so the girls were disciplined by her. She said he had no idea what day to day stuff was like because she was dealing with it. Desi said she knows what she's talking about.
Howard asked the girls what's so hard about their mom. Jen and Jackie said that they just butt heads a lot.
Howard said he's not sure what went on there but there are no victims there. He said that Matt had a good date with the ladies. Matt said he thinks this will spice up his home life. Artie was doing an impression of Desi's laugh through the interview. It was a very fake sounding laugh so it was an easy impression.
Howard asked Dorothy if she wants to meet these ladies. She said that she might be interested in that. Artie asked why they don't all just fuck right now. Robin said this is an unusual family.
Howard congratulated Matt and his two daughters for winning this date. He said he guesses that the marriage will last but based on what he's heard it might be over already. He said the daughters will probably end up in jail at some point. He said they seem to be very nice girls though. Desi said that they can always come to the Bunny Ranch to work.
Howard gave Desi and Ellie Fox some plugs for their web site TheFoxxs.com and BunnyRanch.com. He also gave them a plug for Cat House on HBO which they star in. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he was listening to some new song parodies and hate Man voice mails. He had Lisa G come in with her news preview first though.
Lisa said they called Ross Greenburg at HBO and asked for a comment about Artie but he refused to comment to them. Howard said that their news department is forever expanding while others are cutting back. Howard said they have a news director, Brad Driver, and they have a whole news team covering all of this stuff. They have Ralph Howard as the anchor man and people like Lisa G, Steve Langford and Shuli Egar as reporters. Howard said he didn't even know Shuli had a last name until recently. High Pitch Mike is also on the news team.
Lisa said that Joe Buck has spoken out on his Twitter page. She said that he said that it may have gone too far but it was wild and fun. Lisa said they have a poll on Sirius.com and people think that Artie saved the show.
Lisa said that High Pitch Eric is looking for a home for his dog and two cats. She said you can contact the news department if you have a home for them. Howard said he saw Eric being interviewed and saying that he was a scumbag for not helping him out with money. Howard said they also showed a shot of his dog Sadie and he felt bad for the dog being homeless. Artie said he would do a benefit for the pets before he'd do one for Eric.
Lisa also said that Artie is going to be at the Barnes and Noble tonight in Union Square signing autographs. Howard thanked her for that and moved on to other things.
Howard had some audio of the two of them interviewing some of the people there. They weren't supposed to argue with anyone but Sal didn't listen to him and started to argue.
In one clip we hear people chanting ''Fire Dave'' over and over. Howard said it sounded like there were about 10 people there. Fred said there were 50 according to the paper. Howard said there should have been zero there. Fred said there are 50 retards in the tri-state area.
In another clip we heard Sal asking the people why they were there. They were saying that Dave was raping children with his mouth.
Sal and Richard both asked a couple of questions and the people were very angry. Artie said there are a lot of angry people in the area.
One woman said that anyone would go crazy if their child was made fun of. Howard said that Sarah Palin was taking her 17 year old daughter around to schools telling kids that they don't have abortions and if they get pregnant they should keep their kids. Howard said John McCain was also making jokes about Chelsea Clinton on the floor of the Senate and Palin never said anything about that.
Howard also said the joke Dave told was more about A-Rod and how he'll bang anything that moves. Howard said that the Palin girls seem to be kind of loose too because her older daughter was pregnant at 17.
Howard said this is all a fuckin' joke. Howard said Palin goes around talking about what a good Christian she is but her daughter is out banging out of wedlock. Howard said she marched her daughter out on stage and showed her off when she was pregnant too. Howard said A-Rod was the one being disparaged in the joke Letterman took.
Sal and Richard asked one woman about why she wasn't worried about the economy. They ended up talking to her about the tea bag thing that was in the news a few weeks ago. They tried to get her to say she didn't like being tea bagged but she wouldn't go there.
Howard said Robin was asking if she would set off the metal detectors at the airport with the titanium in her wrist. He said he heard from a guy who said that she will need a note from her doctor about it because it will set it off.
Howard said that Little Mikey sings about Robin's wrist. That song was ''Use Your Other Hand'' to the tune of ''I Wanna Hold Your Hand.''
Howard said that Bob Levy was going to be coming in at 8:30. Artie called him the ''Great'' Bob Levy. Robin asked who was calling him ''great?'' Artie said he was being ironic when he said that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Artie hugged him at his book signing. Artie said he got hepatitis because of that. He was joking of course.
Bobo asked Howard if he had ever met any of Beth's ex-boyfriends. Howard said he has met a couple of them. He said it's a weird thing with him though. He doesn't want to meet anyone who has been inside of Beth. Howard said the guys do seem to be nice guys but he doesn't need to meet them.
Howard said the two guys he met he thinks Beth left. He said that he's the one who gets to say that he won. He said he doesn't want to know about them having sex with her though.
Howard said he brought in a DVD for Fred. He said that it was the Chris Wallace show from HBO. Howard said that's Mike Wallace's son. Howard said he had Steve Chiccones on the show. Howard explained who Steve was and how he was part of the Think Tank team that he had on his NBC show.
Howard and Fred talked about the old days at NBC and what it was like starting over there. They weren't treated very well from the day they started. Robin said that they had some pitiful moments there. Howard said he's glad that Mel came along and saved them.
Howard said they had this Fox News story about Steve Chiccones. He said Steve went into radio and started doing news. He said that didn't work out for him but he did have a successful run for a while. Howard said Steve had his own talk show for a while. Howard said when that didn't work out he started fishing. He turned that into a business.
Howard said Steve takes people out fishing and charges $350-450 a day to go bash fishing. Howard said the guy is making a living doing that stuff. Howard said he loved that Steve was very personable when he was on the show. Now he sells that to do the fishing thing.
Howard said Chris Wallace even said that the guy was fun to hang out with. He said that he's booked up every day fishing now. Howard said the fucker is happy too. Artie said that does sound like fun.
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Eric said that he was being attacked by a KTLA worker last week just like Howard was being attacked by a KTLA worker. Eric said he was talking about Jillian Barberie. Gary said it wasn't KTLA that Jillian works for.
Eric said that no one cares about that stupid cunt. Howard said Jillian just doesn't get Eric. He said that she actually tunes out so she won't hear him. Eric said he needs to have that thing removed off her face too.
Howard said he heard that Eric had a hernia. Eric said he has problems with the muscle wall in his stomach and it's weakened so parts of his digestive system can pop out. He said he had a CT scan done yesterday and they should be letting him know on Friday what's going to happen. Eric said he'll find out what needs to be done.
Eric is going on vacation so they asked him what he does on vacation. Eric said he's going to the Jersey shore with his parents. Howard asked Eric if he's going to last through the rest of their contract. Howard said he lost Kenneth Keith, Blue Iris, Cliff Palate, Hank the Dwarf... He asked Eric if he's going to hang in there. Eric said he'll be fine once he gets that thing checked out and fixed. Eric said he's lost 30 pounds because of it but he's not that worried. He said he welcomes the weight loss just like Artie would. Artie thanked him for that and said goodbye to him.
Eric said that he's down to 50 pounds after being up around 75-80. Howard said his foot weighs 50 pounds. Howard said that doesn't sound good to him. Eric said that this whole thing has been attacking his appetite. Artie said he hopes he's alright. He came around after hearing about the weight loss.
Howard said he remembers Doug Bady having issues with his rectum falling out all the time. He said that he had something similar to what Eric has. Howard asked Eric if his ass has ever fallen out. Eric said he's never had that problem. Artie said he hopes that Eric is alright. Eric said he had to drink some nasty crap yesterday for the CT scan.
Howard asked Eric what he thought of the Joe Buck appearance Artie made. Eric said he hadn't seen it. Eric also said that he's not sure what that guy on KTLA is talking about with Howard not being relevant. He said that he wouldn't have gotten a meeting with Robert Mills without Howard. Howard asked if he has spoken to Robert. Eric said he did and he said he's going to talk to the people at TLC about getting him a reality show.
Artie told Eric to keep calling Mills every single hour, every day to make sure he doesn't forget about him. Howard had to let Eric go a short time later.
Howard said they revived the play and his daughter loves it. She's seen it 3 times already. Howard said she wanted him to go with her to see it. Howard said he figures that the people in the play are pretty hairy. Howard said he will never go see the play. He said they end up running into the audience and start messing up people's hair and rub up against you. Howard said he hates that kind of stuff.
Howard said he saw Cats one time and the actors come out and rub on you. He said they're in these dirty, filthy costumes and they touch you and rub on you. He said he hated that. Howard said this cast of Hair does the same thing and he doesn't want to be part of that.
Howard said when he goes to a play or a show he doesn't want to participate. Artie reminded him about the time they went to see Siegfried and Roy out in Vegas. Howard described what was going on back then and how he had said that one of those tigers was going to eat someone some day. That was about 2 months before one of the tigers actually did attack Roy. Howard said that they claim that he got bitten because of a hat a woman was wearing in the audience.
Robin said that tiger turned his anger on the right person in her opinion. Howard said that they kept bringing up his name during the show they were at. He said Siegfried kept mentioning that the ''King of Media'' was in the audience.
Howard said they were great to hang out with but they were also really charged up about the whole thing. Howard said they hung out back stage before the show.
Howard played some music from Hair and goofed on that taking about what it would be like to be there with the actors coming out and sticking their balls in your face. They spent a little time on that and then Howard said he had to take a break.
Artie was eating some pancakes and claimed they were ''lite'' pancakes with sugar free syrup. Howard checked out the packet of Syrup and read that it had water, sorbitol, cellulose gum, caramel color and some other unnatural stuff in it. Howard said it was probably some fake sweetener. Robin said it sounded like some fake sugars and stuff.
Artie said that Ronnie got him a low calorie drink too. He said it was only 15 calories. Howard said it looked like Hawaiian Punch. Artie said that Ronnie got that for him. He said the diet is working for him because he's lost 50 pounds. That led into them playing the ''Artie Loves Pancakes'' song parody. They went to break after that.
Howard said he keeps forgetting to mention this thing about Cher's daughter, Chastity, wanting to become a man. He said that guys that want to become women have their dick's chopped off and turned into a vagina. He said that those guys end up not having a dick and he can't imagine what must happen when they try to create a dick on a chick.
Howard said he'd like to know what they do and he wants someone to call in who has gone through this surgery. Howard said he heard that they might stretch the clitoris over a bone as it's strapped to the side of your leg. He said that they make it into a penis so it's a super elongated clitoris. Howard said poor Cher can't come out against it because a lot of her fans are gay.
Howard said Cher can't say no to her kid but she could put her foot down on this and stop her. He said she could just go out and buy a strap-on like every other lesbian out there. Howard said that he used to see Chastity Bono and she was a cut kid. He said he knew it would be hard to be her daughter but he didn't know just how hard.
Howard said that Chastity was so cute. He said now she's going to become Chaz. Howard said no one is going to know how to refer to her. Howard said TMZ refers to her as Chaz but Entertainment Tonight is going with the whole ''him'' thing.
Howard played the TMZ clip where they were all talking about ''him'' and correcting the reporter about what he was calling her.
Howard said that a lot of these women get fat to cover up the fact that they're women. He said that kind of hides the woman part. Howard said that they also take hormones and grow facial hair.
Howard played the Entertainment Tonight clip where they refer to Chastity as Chaz and call her ''him'' in the report. Howard said he feels bad for Chaz because she's going to ruin her clitoris by doing this and it's just not going to be good. He said that these doctors should be arrested for mutilating these people.
Howard played more of the Entertainment Tonight clip where they talk about Chaz and her sex change. They reported on Chaz's girlfriend and they kept calling Chaz a ''him'' and ''he'' even though she hasn't had the sex change yet. Howard said it has to be tough for Cher to see this.
A caller told Howard that his wife's best friend is attempting this surgery right now. He said he's heard that the surgery isn't very successful. They have a tendon that causes the clitoris to distend and hang down so it turns into a 2 or 3 inch penis like thing. Howard said he heard that they let it distend and hang and then insert a bone in there. He said that he thinks that they use a rib in there and stretch the hanging thing over the bone.
The caller said he heard that women's clitoris' get hard sometimes so that becomes the penis. Howard said he heard they use a bone in there to make it a penis. He said he heard they have to wear a belt around it to hold it down since it's constantly erect. He said that he basically has a hanging clitoris but stuff comes out of it. He said a woman isn't going to have anything coming out.
Another caller said he was confused by this. He wondered if Chastity becoming a man makes the other woman not gay now. Howard said that the other woman isn't interested in men, she's just interested in a woman who is going to have a ''strange vagina.'' Artie and Howard said they should call it a ''strangegina'' or a ''dunt'' or something like that.
bob came in saying that everyone around there is skinny now. He said that Tim Sabean looks good but Colin Quinn has lost a lot of weight and he looks like he belongs in the movie ''Philadelphia.''
Howard said he heard that Bob's marriage was working out very well. He said he heard that his wife is very attractive too. He had met her before but didn't remember that.
Bob talked about how he's trying to get his wife pregnant but he's tried like 5 times and it's not working. He said that he loves dumping inside his wife.
Howard asked Bob about his son and found out he sees him twice a week these days. Bob said that it's weird that the kid calls him ''Bob'' now.
Howard said he heard about Bob shitting in the shower of his hotel room recently. Howard said Shuli thought it was Beetlejuice but it turned out to be Bob. Bob said that he had a really bad flu and didn't want to get out of the shower to shit so he had an accident in there. He said he didn't want to get out to go to the toilet. Bob said that he thought he had washed the shit down the drain. He said he knows he got it all down. He said he told the story in the car, that's how they knew about it.
Bob said that it just happened and he didn't plan it. He said it was a ''fart gone wild'' and he didn't want to shit in the shower. Bob said that no one went after him in the shower so no one saw the shit in there.
Howard said he heard that Bob has been trying to get Yucko laid but that's not working. Bob said that Yucko is still depressed and he's not able to get any. Bob said that they're doing a benefit show for him and Yucko is afraid they're going to make fun of him.
Artie said he doesn't have to be there but they are doing a benefit show for him. Howard said he heard that Bob ripped the mask off his face on stage. Bob said he did that once. He said that Craig Gass showed up one day and brought him up on stage. He said that they were out in Arizona and Craig said that that's where Yucko met his ex-wife and mentioned some of the other comedians that she had hit on there. That put Yucko in a bad mood.
Howard heard that Bob messed up Yucko's make up too. Bob said he didn't do that on purpose. He said he loves that guy and he wouldn't do that on purpose.
Howard asked bob if he's drinking and on blow. Bob said that he's been clean of drugs for a while now. He stopped drinking Saturday. He said he was totally back on that. Artie gave him a hard time about that and Bob said ''look who's talking.'' Howard asked Bob how many days he's been off of booze. Bob said it's been four days.
Bob said High Pitch Eric called and told him that he got $100 from someone on the street. He said that the fans just give you money even when you do shit wrong.
Howard said Shuli wanted to come in and talk about some stuff Bob has been doing. Shuli said that Bob is fascinating. He said Bob has a tattoo of a dolphin on his arm. That was for his son. Bob said it was for the mobile that they had for him when he was born. He said it reminds him of his son.
Bob cheated on his first wife the day after he got married. Bob said that he got blown by a stripper down in South Carolina. Artie said Jim Florentine tells the story the best. He said it's the funniest story ever. Bob said he was only 26 back then.
Shuli said that Bob takes Colonapin and he ended up throwing a chair back stage as he was being announced on stage one night. Bob said that stuff is supposed to keep you from having anxiety but if you go off of it, you end up curled up in a corner.
Shuli said that Bob quits the Miserable Men show like once a month. Bob said that they don't listen to him on the show and he likes to be in charge. He said that he comes back. Bob said he fired Mike Morse for 30 seconds one day but he gets pissed off at them. Bob said he wants to keep the show angry and the other guys want to do things differently. Shuli said he has to pull Bob to the side and tell him that it's not just his show.
Howard said Bob doesn't have the right to fire anyone. Bob said that Tim told him he can do what he wants with those guys so he does have the power to do that.
Shuli said he found out that Bob's favorite song is the theme from ''Greatest American Hero.'' Howard said that's weird. He's heard of guys listening to rock songs but that's just weird.
Shuli told Howard about a prank they pulled on Mike Morse on the Miserable Men show this week. They had some cake for Mike and put some play-doh in it that looked like cat shit. They made Al Rosenberg think that it was cat shit and he thought that he ate cat shit that night. For 20 minutes Al hated them thinking that he had eaten cat shit. They told him later that it wasn't really cat shit.
Howard asked Bob and Shuli what would have happened if Al had thrown up after eating the cat shit. Bob said that Al has never thrown up, just look at the size of him.
Howard said that Bob's grammar is atrocious and he's not sure how he goes through life. Shuli said that they started doing this thing with Bob where they would have Bob pronouncing words. He said that they're down to just saying words to Bob and he's unable to repeat them. Shuli said that he can't say ''Apocalyptic.'' Bob tried to say it but he kept screwing it up. He said he just can't say certain words.
Shuli said that there's also Guantanamo Bay. Bob can't say ''Guantanamo.'' Shuli had Bob look at him and repeat after him and he was able to do that. Howard asked him to say Hedonism. Bob kind of got that one out after a couple of tries. Artie said ''Nice Beetlejuice!'' Shuli said that Bob once said 'Everything is going good in my life except for this god damn words.''
Howard tried to get Bob to say ''synonym'' and then ''cinnamon.'' He wasn't able to do either. Howard said Bob gets a really creepy look on his face when he's trying to say those words too.
Howard said he loves all of this spelling and reading stuff they do with Bob. Shuli said that they have him read news every week on their show and they can write anything down and Bob will try to read it.
Artie said that he once paid Bob $20,000 for 5 vikoden. He said bob was so great that he kept the money for him and gave it back to him. He said Levy really is a good guy.
Howard gave Bob some more plugs for his upcoming comedy shows in Florida and for his web site RevBobLevy.com.
Howard had Bob's wife Christine come in after that. Howard said that she is a good looking woman. Howard said he did remember meeting her now. Howard asked her how the marriage is going. Christine said that it's going good and it's a year tomorrow that they've been married.
Christine said that she's not sure the spelling thing is real. Howard asked what he's saying when he says ''Zerbit.'' Christine wasn't even sure. Bob said he's not doing that as an act. Christine said he dos mispronounce stuff at home but he's not stupid.
She said that he will say ''strimp'' at home. Bob said that he can say it right if he says it slow. Shuli said that he says ''footsprints'' too. Bob said he's working on that one. He said he has to say it slow just like he says shrimp slow.
Howard asked if it was true that Christine met Bob on the SternFanNetwork. Christine said that they did start speaking there. She said they talked on the phone for about 6 months and then met in person. Howard said it must have been weird with him writing to her in emails. She said he didn't do that very much.
Bob and Christine said they don't go on SFN anymore because there's so much hate there. Bob said they hate him because he won't go on there because they hate on Howard so much. Then Chrissy defends him and they hate her for doing that.
Shuli said that they talk about Bob trying to have a kid with Chrissy and he feels that the kid is going to be a calming effect in his life. Bob said that he got a black lab and the dog brings so much love to you. Shuli said that a kid isn't going to calm him down. Bob said his son is a brilliant kid and he could beat Fred if he had a competition about the planets in space.
High Register Sean called in. Bob said he loves this guy. Sean said that the guys had him up on Miserable Men and when Bob was reading the news he was reading about astronauts and had some trouble with the story. He said it was great. Shuli said there was a word that he had a problem with. It was juxtaposition. Bob tried to get it out but he was doing an impression of Shuli saying the word like a parrot would repeat it.
High Pitch Eric called in to apologize to Howard for the horrible things he said about him in that interview he mentioned earlier. Howard said that was cruel and mean of him to do. Eric said he felt bad about that. He said that he was in a pissed off mood and he knows he's done a lot for him and he was sorry about what he said. Bob said they should do a benefit for him.
Fred said Eric didn't look upset in that clip. He said that he was smiling during the interview. Fred said that Eric was saying that Howard was a cheap fucker and he was smiling even when the guy was trying to get him out of it. Howard said he was going to accept his apology like Sarah Palin did with David Letterman.
Howard said he didn't want to be trapped in Eric's head. Artie said that he was glad that he was banned from the HBO shows because this is the greatest show ever.
Eric asked Howard if he could help him out with a little something. Howard said he got sucked into that. Eric got in a plug for a benefit show that's being done for him. He said he loves Howard but Howard hung up on him and said the reason he loves him so much is that he did that ''Twat cream'' prank call that time.
Bob said that Eric looks like a giant carp. He has the face of a carp. Howard thanked Bob and Shuli Egar for coming in. He said that he didn't even know Shuli had a last name until recently.
Bob said that Shuli keeps telling people that he's married even though it's just a girlfriend. Bob said they get into fights on the show over that. Robin said she had no idea what Bob was talking about.
Shuli said that Bob is a guy who broke his tooth trying to open a bag of road coke. He said that he had to stop Bob from doing blow on the road. Howard gave Bob some more plugs for his comedy shows and for the Miserable Men show. Bob said that show is four hours long now. He said it runs from 7 to 11.
Artie told a quick story about Bob not knowing the name of his manager. He said that Bob told him that the guy was the best but didn't know his name. Bob said he knows it. He gave the name but didn't quite get his last name right. Bob said that he has three deals going on right now. He said he's got two sitcom deals. Howard said that you don't tell people you have three deals if you don't have a three deal thing going on. Bob said he got three deals with this management company. Artie was laughing his ass off during that explanation. Shuli said the look on Robin's face was hilarious while this was going on.
Bob said that he has a reality show deal with some guy in Philly. He said they might laugh now but in 6 months they'll see. He said that within 6 months one thing will hit. He said he will wash Gary's feet if one thing doesn't hit.
Howard said Bob kills here and everywhere he appears. Howard gave him some more plugs and then had Steve Langford come in.
Steve said that High Pitch Eric got a job offer from a Stern Fan. Steve said they have some donations from CrankTheWorld.com. Steve said Eric's possessions are still piled up in his building hallway.
Steve said that Artie's book in paperback is at number 19 on the best seller list. He said they have an update on Gary's auction that has 6 hours left to bid.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down a few things that he had for today's show. Howard seemed like he was in a rush to get out of there.
Robin said the story said that Trump may not be buying the Raw stuff, he may just be advertising. JD came in and said that it's just part of the story line they're doing.
Robin read that Sean Penn has dropped out of two movies so he can spend time with his family. Howard said he seems to be a very confused guy. He said his wife is gorgeous and he's apparently having problems.
Robin said he dropped out of the Three Stooges movie. Howard said that might be a good move on his part. He said it sounds like a real failure. Howard said they should get the original Three Stooges to play the Three Stooges. Artie said he's met Sean Penn and he's a very charismatic guy.
Robin read about how Usher and his estranged wife have divorced. She said that hey were separated last July. Howard said he'd like to take 6 months off to work on his marriage. He figured Mel would tell him to knock it off and get back to work.
Robin read about Mia Farrow's brother dying. He was found dead at an art gallery he owns up in Vermont. Robin said that they're investigating the death because it was apparently suspicious.
Robin read some news about the Octomom getting a reality show and she got into some trouble over some child labor laws. They had to take a break after that story.
After the break, around 10:00am, we heard some prank calls Sal and Richard made to a public access TV show. Gary came in after that and plugged a charity thing that's going on. There's an auction going on at CharityBuzz.com for the ball he pitched at the Mets game. He said there's also one for the chance to sit in on the Stern Show and Wrap Up show. Those auctions end at 3 o'clock this afternoon.
Howard had Robin get back to her news. Robin read a story about the senate race in Minnesota and they've taken it to court and still can't get Al Franken noticed as the winner. She said they had something in Arizona where they were so close that they ended up doing a drawing of cards to make the final decision. Howard said it's a pretty sad state of affairs when they can't figure out who won an election. He said they're the most advanced culture on the planet and they can't figure out an election.
Robin read about an over the counter drug that has been found to cause a loss of smell. The drug is Zicam. Gary said he knows a guy who has had no problems with it and is going out to buy as much of it as he can before they take it off the shelves.
Robin read more about Lindsay Lohan and the accusations that were made about her taking a missing necklace. They're now saying that she wasn't being accused. The magazine photo shoot people are saying that they didn't think she took the jewels.
Robin said that they had a story about Sammy Sosa being tested positive for steroid use from tests that were done years ago.
Robin read about Brett Favre considering returning to playing for the Minnesota Vikings. Howard said he hopes that the Jets get a good quarterback. He said he gets jealous when the other cities are having fun with their teams and all of the New York teams are doing badly.
Robin read a story about a woman who left her 11 year old out on the street to teach her a lesson. She had complained about noises at home so the mother stuck her out on the street to teach her not to be afraid. The girl ended up going to a Burger King and told a worker what was going on.
Robin read a story about how they're trying to get rid of Canadian Geese at airports so they're going to be gassing them. Robin said that the PETA people are saying that it's an inhumane thing to do.
Robin read a story about how gay marriage could boost the economy somehow. Robin said that they estimate that weddings, flowers and honeymoon travel could boost the economy.
Robin read about road rage and asked Howard where it's the worst. Robin said it's in new York City. Howard said that didn't surprise him. He said he just stated yelling and screaming in his car and didn't know what was going on.
Howard said he just lets people cut in when he's out in traffic. He said there are people who are like lunatics and won't let people cut in like they're going to be delayed even longer than they already are.
Robin read some news about the porn industry and how they've found that only one porn star has had AIDS since they instituted the testing for AIDS.
Robin read a story about a 27 year old who tried to kill himself by tying a sword to his steering wheel and driving into a wall. The air bag deployed and bent the sword. Robin said the car ended up in the pool and the guy ended up with just a cut on his neck.
Robin read about the new movie ''Year One'' and had some audio of Michael Cera talking about working with Jack Black. Howard said Jack was a good guest on the show. They had to end the show a short time later, right around 10:25am.
Jon asked Gary if he would enjoy the attention like that. Gary said he got that attention with his pitch and he's not happy about it. He said that he's never really gotten that kind of press before and it was kind of overwhelming for him. He said he thinks that Artie might be happy about it because his book sales might be boosted.
Jon and Gary went over some of the programs that have been talking about this whole thing and how Artie seems to be handling it. Gary said that everyone is entitled to give an opinion even if Artie thinks that they don't have the right to do that when they're not comedians themselves.
The guys also talked about how strange it was that the bleeped Artie's comments in the replays. Jason came in and talked about some of the comments that some of the guys were saying. He said it sounded like Mike Fracessa liked the appearance but he didn't come out and say it.
Jason said he was shocked at how much legs this thing had. He said that most of the sports guys have nothing to talk about and they throw their idiotic two cents out there. Jason said that this one guy they played a clip of this morning is fuckin' retarded.
Artie came in and commented on some of the stuff the guys were talking about. Artie said that those guys out there are all giving their opinions. He said that's fine. He also talked about how he wouldn't have commented if Howard hadn't played the clips this morning. He said he didn't wanted to call the Chris Russo show either but Tim Sabean asked him to.
Gary said that there was nothing to talk about on Monday because there was nothing newsworthy going on that day. He said that might be part of why it got blown out of proportion.
Artie read an article about the appearance where they quoted some of the things that the guys from HBO were saying. Fred was also sitting in and said that if Artie were on a show like Conan or Letterman then they would have known how to reel him in. Joe Buck didn't do anything to even try to reel him in.
Artie said that he would never fuck with Fred or Howard like he did with Joe Buck. Artie explained, for about the 30th time, what was going on during that show and how he didn't interrupt anyone on the show. He said that Paul Rudd wasn't talking when he talked.
Artie was reading from the NY Times about how they're probably going to revamp that show before the next one airs. They have 3 months to fix it since that's how long it will be before it airs.
Fred said he got nothing from that show that day before Artie went on. He said they were glossing over nothing on that show.
Artie said that they made a little too much of a big deal about Bob Costas passing his show on to Joe Buck. He said that it wasn't anything like passing the torch on the Tonight Show like they made it out to be.
Artie said he won't be on that show again but he'll definitely be watching it. Gary said they should wheel Artie out like Hannibal Lecter and not let him talk on the next show.
Fred also didn't get why HBO was upset about Artie's language on that show when HBO has a show coming on soon called ''Hung'' that's about a guy who is well hung. He said that's not exactly Masterpiece Theater.
Jason pointed out that HBO has separated their sports programming from the other programming so it is possible that they don't like cursing. That's like on SIRIUS Hits One that doesn't allow cursing there on SIRIUS. Jason said that Buck's producer might just suck because he didn't give Artie any suggestions on that kind of stuff.
Jon said HBO sports tries to make themselves the upper echelon of sports and he thinks that they expected Artie to do his thing and tempered in that HBO sports way. He said they made the mistake of not telling Artie.
Benjy interrupted Jon and Jon tried to get the show back but Gary went off on Benjy explaining to him what Jon was trying to say.
Jon said that Joe Buck listens to Howard's show every day and he knows what Artie does. He said he should have known what was going to happen and he should have taken control of the show back instead of letting Artie roll with it if that's not what he wanted.
Jon said that it should fall on Joe's shoulders when the show goes like that. He said that he and Gary have to take responsibility for the show when they let someone like Benjy go on and on in a vortex.
Gary said that he has had to speak to porn stars about what they can talk about when they're on the air. Gary said he told this one porn star what she could say and how she had to talk at K-Rock and they ended up having to hit the delay 20 times. The next time they were offered her for the show they had to think twice about it.
Gary said that Adam Carolla used to say wild stuff on the air too. He said that Adam once said that he was whacking off and kept repeating it so Tom Chiusano had to come in and tell him that he had to talk to Adam. He told Adam that he couldn't say ''whacking off.'' After a break Adam came back on and for the first two minutes Adam just kept saying that he was whacking off.
Gary said he tried to get Joe Buck on the show this week but they told him that he couldn't come on this week but he may come on in 3 months when his next show airs.
Jon asked Artie if he expected this kind of fallout after this. Artie said of course he didn't. He talked about the Chris Russo thing and did an impression of Chris a little bit.
Fred said he thinks that Chris might be caught in a bit of a time warp because he was going off on his guy for not having seen a movie from the 1940s on his show. Artie said that an old references soon will be ''Joe Buck Live'' too.
Jon took a call from a guy who talked about Joe Buck's father. He said he loved that guy. He said his son gets his ass kissed out there where he lives. He said that everyone out there is trashing Artie.
Another caller said she's not a huge sports fan but she loves the Stern Show. She said she likes Artie but doesn't love him. She didn't get what all of the drama was about. She said Artie made it more funny and it wasn't that wild to her. She said that Paul Rudd's story was even made more interesting by Artie.
Artie said that Howard could probably be a therapist himself now. He said that he goes along with some of what Howard says but Fred was saying that he doesn't agree with him all the time.
The guys also talked about Artie having a discussion with Howard about talking too much on the show. Artie said he thought he had calmed down with that bit but after Howard told him this morning that he was still talking too much, he was obviously wrong.
Artie said that this show has really touched his life in amazing ways. He said that his mother pointed that out to him. Artie said that he and his father bonded over the Stern Show. He said that they once sent his family a signed jacket for them when they did a benefit for the family one time. Artie said he got the job thanks to Norm MacDonald and Jackie left the show at just the right time when his sitcom was being canceled.
Artie said that Howard found the shrink that's helping to save his life and it's a weird thing with the show like that. It's like some kind of kismet thing going on. He said he doesn't believe in that nonsense but his mother thinks that Howard is like some kind of angel in his life.
Artie said he gets advice from Howard and he takes it seriously. He said he's going to that shrink today in about 40 minutes and he can now see the goodness of therapy.
Jon played some audio of Artie talking about his therapy with Howard today. It was the part where Artie was being asked about being insane.
After that clip Jon said Howard asked Artie three or four times if he thinks that he's insane. Artie said he would never hurt anyone except Teddy or Sal. He said he was troubled back when he had tried to kill himself but he had also done coke for three days. He said that he was an hour away from doing 8 sketches for FOX TV so he was going to bail. He said he's better now.
A caller said that if HBO didn't like what Artie was doing they wouldn't have aired the show. The guys told the guy that it was a live show so they couldn't stop it. The caller thought it was taped.
Gary asked Artie if he's ever been edited before. Artie said he has. He said Conan took out ''Homo'' but then they left it in one other time. It depends on the context. He said they told him he could use it in a certain context and he apparently didn't use it in the right way that one time.
The caller was wondering how they were going to fit Artie into that show because they brought him in with only 8 minutes left. The guy said the show was horrible before he showed up but then Artie was tough to watch because it was so uncomfortable. The caller was also wondering why they were still talking about this.
Gary said that they've got an hour and forty minutes to fill today so that's why they're still talking about this stuff.
Wheels called in and said that Artie is something else. He said he would have been great in the Eastbound and Down TV show. That led to the guys talking about that show for a short time. Artie said he's not sure that he could have done that role. He said that he auditioned for the role that Jack Black got in School of Rock but he lost out to him. He said they made the right decision going with that guy though. He said the same thing about the guy in Eastbound and Down.
Wheels was also asking about Ralph calling in yesterday and commenting on Artie's appearance. Gary said Ralph sounded half asleep yesterday. Wheels said it was in the middle of the show though. Gary said Ralph naps during the show so he doesn't hear the whole thing every day.
Wheels said that he thinks Artie should try hypnotherapy. He thinks that Dr. Roni knows that. Artie said that he thinks that Dr. Roni hits on him and so does Lisa G and he thinks that he could get either one of them. Gary asked Artie if he thinks that she would go out with him.
Artie said he should try asking her out. He's not sure he wants to break her heart though. He said they should do a hidden camera thing with her.
Jon took a call from a guy who goofed on Artie's voice and told him to get control of the English language. The guy was going on and on with the same thing so Jon had to let him go.
Another caller said that Artie is a comedic genius and he says that because only he could get Mariann from Brooklyn to say the N-word on the air. Artie said that he did get her to say that. The other guys had missed that somehow.
The caller also said that he hopes that his son speaks about him the way Artie speaks about his father. Jon had to go to break after that.
Bob Levy was sitting in so he said he'll probably have to try and get his son on the phone Sunday. He'll probably get a card but that's fine with him. He said he and his ex-wife don't even talk anymore. Gary said he heard that he's only e-mailing her now. Bob said that he and his son get along great though.
Bob said that he wants to see his dogs but he has no desire to see his ex-wife. He said that he wants his dog to come over and stay too sometimes. He said he doesn't miss living in the basement with a cricket but he is enjoying his life with his new wife.
Jon brought up the Bang My Dad segment and asked Gary what he thought about that. Gary said that it seemed to be a very dysfunctional family with the daughters getting their father into this thing. They seemed to clam up a bit about what was really going on there when they said that they might be getting back at their mother.
Jon played a clip from the Bang My Dad segment where the wife of the guy who won was talking about what was going on with their marriage and why she was okay with what he did.
After the clip Bob said his wife was saying that she would slit his throat if he did something like that. Benjy said that he thinks that there are couples out there like that who have open marriages. He said it might only be like 10 percent of the marriages out there but they are out there.
Bob said that it sounds like the wife wanted to go out and do something too. Fred said that's what it sounded like to him.
Bob said he met the daughters and they seemed to be really nice too. Fred said guys might like to go out and cheat but a lot of women are very loyal and don't need to do that. He said it's all about intimacy for some.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what Dr. Roni is a doctor of. They said she's a doctor of holistics. She doesn't have an MD or a PHD. Gary said that it's very vague what it's actually for.
The caller pointed out that Gary says ''Do you know what I mean'' a lot. Gary said you can find those kinds of things with a lot of people. He said he won't stop saying it but he will try not to.
The caller said he does that himself by saying ''Bottom line...'' when he talks. He said that it can get repetitive and he tried to stop saying that. Bob said he'll say that stuff to end a sentence to let people know when to talk.
Shuli was in and tried to get Bob to say ''Idiosyncrasies'' but Bob wasn't able to say it. Bob said Shuli was like a cockroach following him around today saying that stuff.
Gary pointed out that Bob writes without punctuation or capitalization and it's hard to understand at first. Now he knows how to read them and he just thinks about it and gets it.
Shuli said that he can figure out what words Bob is trying to say when he's having trouble with some. He said he's been able to figure that out after spending time with him.
Christine said that she thinks Bob is intelligent and she's not sure why he can't spell some of the simplest words. Bob said that he went to six years of high school and he didn't do very well. He said that they told him he was going to have to go another half a year to graduate and he just couldn't do it anymore. Bob said he smoked a lot of pot in school and he had problems.
Jon asked who is smarter, Bob Levy or Sal Governale. Fred said he might have to give the edge to Bob based on the way he conducts himself. Gary agreed. He said Bob is aware of his limitations. He said Sal doesn't know when to stop. Benjy said he thinks that Sal might be better on tests. Christine picked Bob of course. She said that he's good with numbers and he's a great businessman. She said that his math is great and he can do it in seconds. She said he's amazing when it comes to that.
Shuli said he would say that Bob has better people skills. He said that Bob has a filter in his head that Sal doesn't have all the time. Bob said that he would say himself too. Bob said that Sal checks his words on a computer and he can't even do that. Bob said that makes Sal ''stupider.'' Jon said that was very well said.
Benjy asked Bob some math questions. Bob knew the simple stuff like 8x7 and 12x12. Gary threw out some harder math and asked him what he would make if he had a certain number of tickets sold at a show with a certain number of seats. Bob didn't figure that out, he just threw out ''four grand.''
Jon stuck up for Sal and said that he had to stick up for the guy that no one was picking as the smarter one. He said he has to drive home with Sal every day. Gary said that Sal didn't even know who the allies were in World War II when they asked him about that. The guys goofed on Sal a little more about some of the wacky things he's said over the years. Shuli said that you never correct Bob, you always let him keep going when he gets something wrong. He said that's what you have to do with Sal too. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about some of the weird stuff going on in the news. He said that Gary gave him some clips of some reports about Artie's Joe Buck appearance. Howard said Michael Irvin is now speaking out and saying that he didn't enjoy it. Howard said Artie seemed to think he was enjoying it.
Howard played the Michael Irvin clip and he was saying that what Artie did was inappropriate. Michael said that he might have been laughing at Artie and not with him like Artie thought. Irvin said that you shouldn't hire Artie for anything. He and the other guy he was talking to spent a couple of minutes on that. Irvin said that he's not even going to talk to Artie.
Artie said that everyone should google Michael Irvin and see what he was up to and see how he didn't know how to behave at times. Fred found a couple of things that he had been arrested for and read off that list.
Howard said Irvin wasn't done with Artie yet. He played more of the audio and Irvin was talking about how Artie should have known what he was getting into and should know when to behave. Irvin said that Artie shouldn't have tried to destroy Joe Buck by doing what he did. He said he thinks that Artie just wanted people to talk about him.
Howard said he thinks that he sounds a bit hypocritical. Artie thought he sounded like a moron. Howard didn't think that was the case. Fred found some other comments that Irvin had made that got him into trouble in the past too.
Howard said that Artie was using Irvin as a defense in his story and now he's finding out he wasn't laughing with him, he was laughing at him. Artie said he hated to tell Michael this but his evil plan worked and his book went from number 19 to number 10 on the best seller list.
Howard said it sounds like this show is turning out to be more popular than people thought. There are more people saying that it was a disaster before Artie showed up though.
Howard and Artie spent a little time talking about that. Artie said he had no intention of going on the show and ruining it for Joe Buck. He said he likes Joe Buck and he doesn't think the guy is that mad at him. He said he wasn't trying to ruin anyone's career.
Howard said they shot the test in color but then they shot the show in black and white to save $10,000 per episode. Howard told Robin she'd enjoy this special too. He said he's going to give her the DVD when he's done with it.
Howard said he had some audio of Joe Buck being interviewed about Artie. He said Joe had Twittered and he was saying Artie did what they thought he was going to do. Joe knows the radio show so he wasn't surprised that much.
Howard said the show wasn't going that well in the beginning from what he saw. He said the live audience doesn't help. He said that you feel like you have to perform in front of them and that wouldn't work with his show. Howard said it's weird to do a show like Letterman and make the audience react to what you're saying. He said it's really tough to do that.
A caller asked Howard about the movie ''The Hangover'' and if he had seen it. Howard said he hadn't but Todd Phillips may call in today and he directed the movie. Howard said he's heard good things about the movie. Robin said she's hearing a lot of good things about it.
Howard said the movie has made over $100 million already in two weeks. Robin said it's supposed to be the biggest rated R comedy to make that kind of money so fast.
Howard said he heard about this movie ''Look Who's Talking'' where Bruce Willis did the voice of a baby. He said Bruce didn't know what the movie was but he asked for some back end money and ended up making out really well. He said that they had done that with other actors in the past and some of them made out really well taking percentages. Howard said he thinks that Bruce Willis made like $18 million for his 3 days of work on that ''Look Who's Talking.''
Howard was trying to talk about this stuff but the caller kept talking over him and he had to hang up on the guy. He said it was like a weird directors cut with someone talking under him the whole time.
Joe said he thought Artie knew that there were going to be some boundaries but things ended up getting a little dirty. Joe said he thinks that Paul and Jason didn't get in a word because they were afraid to say anything with Artie going on the way he was.
In another clip Joe was saying that he just wanted to move on and talk to Paul and Jason but Artie wasn't letting that happen so there wasn't much left to do.
Artie said that Joe went back to him when Paul and Jason would start talking. Howard said that didn't make much sense. Artie said that he was the only one up there who was a stand up comic so he feeds off of crowd reactions. He said that's why he was doing what he did. Howard said the show was a train wreck and they just have to accept that.
Howard said a real professional wouldn't have let it turn the way it did. He said that Joe shouldn't be doing a show like that. He said if you're going to have entertainers talking about sports they should get rid of the audience and just do an interview.
Artie said that it was HBO too and he's not going to sit back and not do anything. He wasn't told to treat it like Letterman. If they had asked him to he would have kept it clean. He said no one said anything to him about that.
Howard played another clip where Joe said that Artie gave them exactly what he thought they wanted. Joe said he doesn't fault Artie for doing that. He said Artie thought that's what they wanted and he gave it to them. Joe said he told Artie that's what they wanted and he wasn't going to debate it with him.
Howard said he thinks that Joe Buck is 100 percent right. He said Artie went on and gave them what they wanted. He said he may not have read Joe properly but that's the way things went. He said the whole vibe of the show was off though. He said that Paul Rudd backed off and the other guy, Jason, just let him do what he wanted to do.
Artie said he feels bad if they think he had any malicious intent there. He said that's not what he intended. Howard said he didn't think that's what Joe was saying.
Ralph called in and said that Artie has to stop comparing his appearance to other people like Sam Kinison, Howard Stern and other people. Artie said he didn't do that. Ralph said he did though. Ralph said he has to stop that because it's just not the same thing. Ralph said Artie being outrageous on that show is nothing like Chris Rock being outrageous in his comedy shows.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Ralph is right. He said they have to get their heads out of their asses and listen to what Joe Buck was saying. He said Joe felt bad during the conversation. Fred asked if Artie is supposed to be a mind reader. He said they didn't give him any direction so how is he supposed to know. The caller said Artie has no people skills and he doesn't get what's going on around him.
The caller said that he doesn't care for what Artie does anymore. He said he's started doing things that he doesn't appreciate.
Howard said he had more Joe Buck clips. He played another one where Joe was talking about what they told Artie before the show. He said they would have told Artie not to go too nuts if they knew he was going to go down the road he went down. Joe said Artie was just performing and he should have been more specific telling him what he should be doing.
Artie said Joe is being very fair in that clip. He said he's not blaming him and he's kind of blaming himself. Artie said that it was HBO and he's not Chris Rock, Sam Kinison or Howard but he is influenced by them.
Howard said that this web site ''SuckingCocks.com'' that Artie mentioned on that show must be getting a lot of hits now.
Howard said the show was boring and he's not sure how long it's going to last. Artie said they only do that show every 3 months. Howard said that it may not last.
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Howard said he had lunch with Billy and Katie over vacation. They were at Billy and Katie's house and he knew that things were tough. Howard said there were rumors that she was banging some designer. Howard said from what he knows there were no shenanigans going on.
Howard said he thinks that things just weren't going very well but those rumors weren't true. He said things are definitely over now though. He said that Billy was looking for someone for a really long time so this must be upsetting for him.
Howard said it's got to be a tough age split. Billy is 60 and he had a 27 year old. Howard said he hopes that's what he has at 60. Artie said that's only 5 years away.
Howard said he'll have both Billy and Katie on the show for Dial-A-Date when they're ready. Hopefully by Monday. Howard said most of his friends weren't shocked by this. Robin said she was shocked. Howard said she's not in his inner circle.
Howard said he doesn't think that there was any evil involved in this break up. He said he doesn't think that there was a bad guy in there.
Howard said that he has to ask Dominic Barbara about his ex-wife claiming that he owes her money. Howard said he has to talk to Dominic about that.
Howard read about this new health commissioner in New York City who was saying that it's not safe to ride. He said that some people got offended by what he was saying. Howard said the guy is now saying that he's going to ride in the city. Howard said it's not safe to drive a tank in New York City.
Howard said he went to the dentist yesterday and it took him forever to get to the office. Howard said he used to drive himself and the roads would change all the time so he'd get thrown off. He said he'd be driving around in tears. Artie said it can break you. Howard said that's exactly what happens.
Howard said he remembers driving home from NBC one day and not being able to get home. He got lost and didn't know how to re-route. He said they changed some roads that he used to go down and didn't let him make a right turn. He said he had to pray to Jesus but ended up just turning to get into the tunnel. He said he got pulled over as soon as he made that illegal right turn.
Howard said he had to tell the cop that he didn't know where he was going and she told him to just keep going when she saw his tears. He had just been fired so he told the cop that and she let him go.
Howard said this woman was walking through the woods with her 3 year old and she had to fight off a cougar with her bare hands.
Howard read about what the woman did to save the kid after it was attacked by this cougar. The kid thought it was a kitty cat and wondered why it didn't want to play nice. The mother had to decide to do something and went and saved the kid. She jumped in and wedged herself between the cougar and the kid. She threw the cougar off her own back and then took her kid and ran. They ended up killing the cat later. Robin said that doesn't make sense, the cougar was just doing what comes naturally to it.
Howard said it was kind of like Artie doing Joe Buck Live and not knowing what to do. He said they should have told the cougar how to behave.
Howard said that if you ever have that Sophie's choice thing with your mother and father, always save your mother. He said that women are more brave than men are. He said that this woman was very brave doing what she did.
Howard said that this woman said that Bill had blood on his hands and Bill was telling her that she had blood on her hands for supporting this guy who was aborting babies. The woman said that this was a legal operation though and there was no blood on her hands. Howard said he wanted to strangle O'Reilly. Howard said the guy is a good broadcaster though. He said that he has done his show because of that.
Howard said that Bill was nice to him but that's because he knows not to mess with him. Howard said he guesses that it was good TV because it did get a reaction out of him.
Howard said that O'Reilly is the same guy who is blaming Obama for the economy and it was Bush who left the economy the way it is. Howard said there are a lot of things that you could say about Obama but we have to give the guy a chance.
Robin said that he seems to be going out and building a cult of personality and not staying in the White House according to some. Howard said that's kind of what the President does though. He said Ronald Reagan was a master of that.
Artie said he was trying to call into Bubba's show yesterday and he was told that it was a taped show. He said he was getting mad not being able to get through.
Howard was told that Bubba hadn't shown up for work yet this morning. The other guys on the show were doing the show but Bubba wasn't there. One of the guys said something is up with Bubba but they're not talking about it yet.
Howard played some audio of Sal and Richard going down to the David Letterman protest yesterday. He said he told Sal not to get into any arguments with those people but he did anyway. He played the clip of Sal going off on those people.
Howard said he told Sal and Richard to act like regular reporters and contain themselves. He said they said they could and then Sal does this. Howard said that they get mad at him when he can't trust them and this is why he can't. He said that he didn't want them arguing with people. He said they were supposed to be reporters.
Howard said that Sal and Richard ended up making out in front of some other show's cameras. Howard said that they were down there acting like reporters and they saw the Keith Olbermann show there so they started making out on camera. Howard said that tongues were involved from what he heard.
Howard said that it sounds kind of weird to him when Sal and Richard start making out like that. Howard said he couldn't kiss a guy on the lips with tongue or without.
Sal came in and said that it came close but there was no tongue. Sal said he could feel the heat from Richard's mouth though. Artie told Sal he's a better man than he is. He said he could never kiss a guy.
Sal said that there were two cops behind them and one of them asked them to stop. He said he apologized to the cop and the cop told him that his lieutenant was watching and he couldn't just stand there watching.
Howard had a clip of Keith Olbermann talking about what had gone on. Keith is a fan of the show so he knew that it was Sal and Richard.
Sal said that they were calling themselves journalists down there and they were asked for credentials. He said that those wacky people down there were the ones asking for that stuff. Sal said that those people have so much anger in them.
Howard asked Sal if he sees why he can't trust them now. Sal said he got everything and then did that at the end of it all. Gary said that's not true. He said that they asked them to ask a bunch of questions about Leno, Letterman and other stuff and they didn't get to that. Sal and Richard said they asked all of the questions but they just edited it all out because it was so boring.
Howard asked Richard if there was tongue involved. Richard said he did lick Sal's face but they didn't kiss with tongue. Richard said that Benjy would have fit right in as Ben-She down there because the other women who were there looked very much like Ben-She.
Howard watched the video of Sal and Richard making out on camera and you can see the cop walk into the scene. Howard got some laughs out of that. Howard said he knows that Sal wanted to make out with him but he has to keep his tongue in his mouth.
Howard asked Richard why he shaved his head. Richard got a movie role and he had to shave it for that. Richard said that was a Maria Menounos movie and he got to hang out with her the other day. He said that she's a sweetheart.
Howard asked Richard about his new album and what's going on with that. Richard said he's still working on that stuff and Sal may sit in on some of the recording sessions.
Howard asked Sal what's going on with him. Sal said he's in therapy now and things are going good for him. He said that he found out that he has a lot of anger issues with his father and that's why he has problems with his wife. She's kind of backing off of him because of the way he treats her.
Sal said that he's really angry at his father now and he doesn't want to confront him. Howard asked how he's being different with his wife. Sal said he's actually listening to his wife. He said that she's now telling him about all of the conversations she has with her friends. He said he has bruises on his feet from curling his toes while listening to her stories. He said it seems like years when she tells these stories. Artie told him that if you ask how their day was, you're going to hear about their day.
Howard asked Sal if he can appreciate what his wife is saying. Sal said he can. He's making an effort to listen to her and get interested in what she finds interesting. Sal said he's still working on it so he's not sure what that stuff is. Sal said he loves her very much and things are working.
Howard asked Sal if there are any story lines that he's interested in. Sal said there's nothing yet. He said he is taking this stuff seriously though.
Sal said he will listen to his wife's stories about people she works with and things like that. Fred was playing snoring sound effects as Sal was telling these stories about listening to his wife. Richard said that he'll talk to Sal and Sal will pretend he's listening but he'll actually be watching a porn.
Sal said his therapist told him he has to go home and take an interest in his wife by looking her in the eye. Howard said it sounds like his life is like the Joe Buck show and he needs an Artie Lange on that show.
Howard asked Sal if his wife is coming around and doing sexual stuff with him. Sal said that she is. He said that she recently dyed her hair pink again and that upset him because it reminded him of her emotional friend time. He said that it was an era in their life when she was with the emotional friend. Sal said he told her about that and she got upset and apologized to him. She got teary eyed about it too.
Howard and Robin asked if the pink hair is gone. Sal said it's not gone. He said that he thinks that the emotional friend is gone but he's not positive about that either.
Howard said he heard that Richard was avoiding the staff there. Richard said that he and Sal are just doing their jobs and trying to keep things positive. Richard said he and Will ended up getting into it about a month ago. He said that was bad.
Richard said they were calling in with audio drops for Iron Sheik and Will yelled at him about it so he stopped dealing with Will. Gary said Will was going to come in and talk about that. Gary said that they were calling in with those drops at the same time and it can lock up the phone system. That's why Will yelled at them.
Will came in and said that he usually rolls with it and he yells at them all the time. He said that Richard just snapped that day. Richard said this was different that day. He said it wasn't the same thing that he usually does.
Will said that they don't like to deal with logic and they just kept hitting him with the same things over and over again. Sal said that Will can get mad and this angry side comes out in him. Richard said that they were getting screamed at for just trying to do their job. Howard said he wants them to figure it out and if they don't, he's going to step in and figure it out. He said that creativity should be encouraged there. He said that they have to look into each other's faces and figure out how to work together.
Will said they have made up since then. Richard said that Will apologized to him. Sal said that he still has to go in on Richard's behalf sometimes now.
Gary said that he and Richard have worked things out. He said that Richard is one of the most passive aggressive people he's ever met. He said that he used to stand at his desk with bits but now he's just instant messaging him about it.
Gary said that Richard doesn't know how to act around him. He said that if he's on the phone Richard will come in and just start talking. He said he has to know his place and when he can start talking. Gary said that he tells Richard ''no'' and Richard won't take that as an answer. He said he'll come back like 5 or 6 times with things that he's said no on. Howard said that maybe Richard's exuberance is what they need around there. Gary said Richard used to come in and tell his weekend stories on Monday mornings but sometimes they would be boring stories. He said that no one bats 1000.
Howard said he wanted Richard in there pitching his ideas and stuff. He said that Will has to not yell at him so much. Will said it only lasts like a second. He said they do it all the time too and they should just move on.
Howard told Gary to go and work things out. Sal said that he'd take care of it for him. Gary asked if he was going to take care of it like he took care of the Letterman thing.
Richard said that Sal had a story to tell about moving a refrigerator. He said the story is funny and embarrassing. Sal said he had to pick up a host for a comedy show in Rhode Island. Gary told Howard that he wasn't telling the story the right way. He interrupted and said that Sal is too cheap to take a train so he got a ride from this guy and this guy asked him to help him move a refrigerator before they left for the comedy show. Sal helped and got all dirty moving the fridge. They brought it down a flight of stairs and then brought another one up. Sal said that this was Geno Bisconte who is a great guy. He said that they ended up being late for the show too. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he was reading about this guy from The Ventures who died. He said he remembers that band from back in the 60s. He said he and the guys in his band would try to play some of their stuff. Fred played some of their music like ''Walk Don't Run'' and some other recognizable songs like the Hawaii 5-0 theme song.
Howard said the guy's name was Todd Vogel and he was 75 years old. They spent a little time talking about that while listening to the Hawaii 5-0 theme.
Howard said he knew a guy who could play that ''Walk Don't Run'' guitar. He said that guy was the same guy who let him smell his fingers after he had sex with a girl. Howard said they sat there and sniffed his fingers. Howard said he thought he smelled something but the guy probably just had his finger up his ass or something.
Howard said that's when he learned about jerking off too. He said the guy used to jerk off to the National Enquirer. Howard said back then they had some wild stories in there.
Howard said he heard that Todd was the original director for the ''Borat'' movie. He said he actually dropped out of it over creative differences. Todd said that it was pretty simple. He said they had a script for the movie originally. He said the guys from South Park wrote it. They were going to do a narrative comedy at first but then Todd had the idea to do a documentary about an immigrant. He said they were going to have a crew instead of Borat doing it by himself. He said that it got in the way of what Sacha wanted to do. He said they shot for a month and some of it made it into the movie but the idea was flawed.
Todd said he stepped aside and they reconfigured the movie and started shooting it about 6 months later. Todd said that they didn't fight over it or anything. He said that he just wasn't the right guy for the job.
Howard asked if Todd made money from the movie. He said he did get money for writing it but then he stepped aside with the directing thing.
Howard asked Todd if he expected this movie ''The hangover'' to do so well. He said of course he didn't. Todd said they're doing amazingly well right now and they just opened internationally and he's glad about that. Howard said he's thrilled that an R rated comedy is doing so well.
Howard said they beat ''Land of the Lost'' and this movie ''Up'' as well. Howard asked who he has in the movie. Todd said it's Bradley Cooper, Ed Helmes and Zach Galifianakis. Artie said he's known Zach for about 15 years and he's really funny.
Howard asked what the budget was for the film. Todd said they made it for $30 million and that's cheap by today's standards. Robin said that used to be a really nice budget. Todd said that they told him to do this for 30 million and he could do anything he wanted.
Todd said that he did a rewrite on this movie and kind of got fucked on a Writer's Guild credit but that's a whole other story.
Howard said Todd had to pass on his fee to make the movie the way he wanted to. Todd said they gave him a percentage of ownership in the film. He said that it was basically a pretty good part ownership in the movie. Howard asked what the difference is between that and getting part of the gross. Todd said it's kind of hard to describe. He said it's all very technical.
Howard said you have to be careful making deals like that. He said that they can really screw guys like this with those deals.
Howard told Todd about the Bruce Willis story he told earlier in the morning. He said that Todd could have made out on this movie the same way. Todd said he took a big gamble on this movie and he thinks that he really could have lost out on it. He said that the Pas on the set were making more than him. If the movie had tanked then he would have made nothing.
Robin said that Todd is saying that he's going to get 100 percent of the accounting in the future for this movie so he's going to make a ton of money because he's part owner. Robin said that if he had gotten a percentage deal, he wouldn't be able to make very good money. She said that he's in it for the full take of whatever it makes.
Howard asked what kind of money he's going to make if this movie makes $105 million. Todd wasn't saying exactly how much it was but said that this is like his Star Wars. He said it's going to be good money.
Todd told Howard that they've made $105 million in 10 days so they're not done with it yet. Howard asked what the movie is about. Todd said that it's not even about the story. He said that it's an unapologetic comedy and he thinks that Howard will really like it. He said it's R rated and they don't apologize for the bad behavior in the movie like some movies do.
Howard asked Todd if he's going to make the kind of money that will let him adopt a black child from Malawi. Todd said it probably will.
Howard asked Todd if he's single. He said that he is. He was at the Howard Stern Film Festival with someone but he's broken up with her.
Howard asked Todd how much pussy he's getting now. He said it must be insane. Howard said Todd is a good looking dude so it must get insane. Todd said that's a tough thing to talk about. Howard said that's what it's all about.
Todd said he worked with Artie on ''Old School.'' Howard said that Artie would have rather have been in this movie. Artie said that he still gets great residual checks from ''Old School'' that are great.
Todd said he thinks that Artie was great on Joe Buck's show and he doesn't know why everyone is over analyzing this whole thing. He said it's like Artie is playing jazz and people are reviewing it. Todd told Artie he loves what he did. Howard said that was good to hear. Artie thanked him for that too.
Howard said he agrees with Todd about Artie. He said the show was really boring and misguided and Artie did good.
Howard said he's glad to see a return to R rated comedies. He said he's tired of seeing these kid films that they bring out. Todd said that they had a great reaction to the movie when they showed it the first time. He said they were able to lock the movie in 8 weeks and that's unheard of these days.
Howard asked about working with Mike Tyson. Todd said that was fun and Mike had a good time with it. Howard asked if everyone is calling to make a movie with him now. Todd said the people from Warner have been treating him right from the start. He said that things are going good but the business is kind of bizarre.
Howard asked Todd when he last got laid. Robin figured he was getting some as he was doing the interview. Howard said he must get a ton of girls based on the hit movie thing. Todd said there are a lot of opportunities and temptation out there.
Artie said that Todd directed ''Old School'' and ''Road Trip'' and his fee must be huge. He had to have given up a huge fee for this movie. Todd said that he actually tried to get Ivan Reitman involved with this movie as an investor but that didn't work out. Howard said Ivan must want to choke him now. Todd said he's actually very happy for him.
Howard said this was depressing to him and he was tired of hearing about his success. Todd said that Howard hasn't been doing too bad himself the past few years. Howard asked Todd if he has lost a lot gambling and asked how much he's lost in one night. Todd said that it was embarrassing and said that it was close to half a million.
Artie said that it's such a great gamble to waive your director's fee and have a hit on his hands. He said that he got the pay off with that gamble.
Howard let Todd go and said that the movie kind of flew under his radar. Howard said he didn't hear any hype about the movie at all. Robin said that they were running the commercials with Mike Tyson in them. Robin said they didn't expect much from this movie and it turned out to be a huge hit. Artie said he's sorry he hasn't seen it yet.
Howard said he knows Jon Bon Jovi personally and he used to have screener copies. He said he doesn't know why he didn't get a screener of this movie. Howard said he gets the crappy movies that come out. He said he got one that just came out recently but it wasn't something he wanted to see. He said he'd like to see movies like this instead.
Howard said that he had to get to some other stuff as well. He had to go to break first though. He said they have Miss Howard TV coming in today as well. He had some pictures of her that he was showing the guys and she was taped up in some kind of strange outfit. The outfit was made of tape. Mike Gange came in and said that the hallway is a buzz with guys talking about how hot she is. Howard said that she was very good looking. They checked out a couple of shots of her before they went to commercial.
Howard said that song was his one of his favorites. He said that he was dancing in the shower to the tune. He demonstrated how he was dancing to the guys and had Artie laughing.
Howard said he loves the thing going on between Letterman and Conan O'Brien. He said that the ratings are taken so seriously. He said he used to have to do that on terrestrial radio. Howard said that Leno was number 1 by far and the NBC execs basically fired him from that time slot. Howard said everyone thinks it's insane. Howard said he thinks it's insane too.
Howard read a story about the ratings and how Letterman's ratings had deflated after the Sarah Palin thing went away. Howard said Conan is number one with people under the age of 50 and Dave is getting a few more viewers. He's just barely beating Conan. Howard said that Jay was beating Dave every night so he's not sure why NBC got rid of him. Robin said that Jay may have had an older audience and didn't have the demographic NBC was looking for.
Howard said the article wasn't making sense to him. He said they were saying that Conan was winning in every demographic but Dave was beating him overall. He said that didn't make sense to him.
Howard said that they're making it seem like there is no loser. Artie said that's like today's dodge ball games where there are no losers.
Howard said he used to win and everyone else lost. That's just how things went. He said this doesn't make any sense to him.
Howard asked if Lisa liked it. Lisa said that she's in love with Artie again after that. She said that he introduced her there and she appreciated that. She said that Artie's girlfriend was saying that they're in love with each other. She said that she was very sweet too. Howard asked if Artie is right about her wanting to sleep with him. Lisa said that Artie said something about her last night that she won't be playing again. Artie said he said he was going to do something that he had never done before and that was ''fuck Lisa G.''
Lisa said that she's doing a story about the ''Hair'' play and how the cast is keeping their hair groomed and they said that they would jump on Howard if he was in the audience. Howard said that's why he can't go.
Lisa also spoke to Dr. Kimberly Diore about the female to male surgery Howard was talking about. She said that they detach the clitoris and they remove the ligament so it droops down. Then they prime the tissues with testosterone and it starts to resemble a penis that they call a neo-penis. Howard said that's what he was diagnosed with.
Howard said he doesn't get the whole thing about the testosterone and why it would make the clit grow. Robin said the human body knows what to do apparently.
Lisa said that they can also give fake balls but they don't usually put a bone in the clitoris like Howard was saying yesterday.
Howard said he wanted to talk about this with ''Chaz'' (Chastity Bono's new name). He said that this is insanity. He said he understands that she's a lesbian but when you start mutilating your vagina, you can't enjoy it. Howard said she won't function as a male after this. He said that she can grow a beard and all of that but the mutilation is just not right.
Howard said he thinks that Cher should put her foot down and not let her do this. He said that she's supporting her daughter and she has to put her foot down on this one thing. The guys spent a few minutes goofing around talking about that stuff and how they have had women on the show who have started that transformation to men. They bought up Buck Angel and her Sybian ride.
Howard said that he understands what's going on with the fake penis thing now. Lisa said Howard had a lot of the story right yesterday. Howard said he was just confused about the bone in the clitoris thing. Howard said he actually had sex with Beth with his neo-penis last night. Robin said that Howard should be thankful that he doesn't have this confusing about his private parts.
Howard said that when you start cutting things off and mutilating them it probably takes away the source of your orgasm.
Howard said he went home and told Beth he wanted to spank her. He said she wanted to spank him so he dropped that idea. He said he lost his enthusiasm for it and didn't even want to spank her.
Howard said John Stamos dropped by yesterday and asked him if he and Beth ever fuck around the apartment. Howard said he lied to him and said he has but they never really do. He said that he told Beth he wanted to do it in different rooms and Beth asked where that came from. He told her about Stamos bringing it up and how he wanted to do it on a table or something. Howard said they both like it in the bed and Beth reminded him of that. He said they're never going to do it anywhere but the bed. He said he did lick a woman on his coffee table one time. He doesn't do that usually though.
Howard asked Lisa if she likes doing it in bed or other places. Lisa said that she'd hurt her back if she didn't do it in the bed. Howard let her go after that.
Howard said they had no reason to drag him into the argument. The caller said that they were talking about the way Howard was talking about his wife on the show that night. Howard asked the guy to read the article to him. The guy read it and said that Howard was boring the audience with his wedding pictures and Dave should have called her a slut instead of Sarah Palin's daughter. Howard wasn't sure what they were referring to.
Artie said he thinks that the writer just didn't like Howard. The caller said he thinks the guy is an ultra religious guy so that might have something to do with it too.
Artie said that these people just think that Howard bored the audience and the audience didn't even sound bored that night. Howard said the writer sounded retarded.
Howard said he was going to play this game with the caller. The caller wasn't sure he'd qualify because he lives in Canada. Howard said of course he does. He was playing for $500 from Man Groomer.
Howard said the game is called ''Whose Dad Is It?'' They had stories from Gary, Scott DePace, Sal Governale, Ronnie the Limo Driver, Howard, Richard and Benjy. The guy had to guess whose story he was telling. It was a story about one of their fathers.
Howard said he's going to give this guy six chances to win. Howard said this first person's father hit a train while driving drunk and tried to sue the railroad over it. Howard said that had to be Sal's dad. The caller said he agreed. Fred said it was DePace's.
The caller, Steve, said he was going with Sal as his final answer. Howard said he didn't know whose dad it was. Scott DePace came in and it turned out that it was his father. Fred got it right and Scott was blown away.
Scott told the story about his father hitting the train and how he demolished his VW Bug. He said they tried to sue the train owner over it. The lawsuit was unsuccessful.
Howard read the second story which was... This person's dad roughed up a short order cook at a diner for being called a banana head. Howard asked the caller who it was. The caller guessed that it was Ronnie's dad. Howard said he could see that. Gary came walking in. Gary told the story about how they went to a diner and they were the only ones there. Gary said he ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon on the side. He got the sandwich and it was in the cheese. He said his father sent the order back and the guy called him a banana head under his breath. Gary said his father threw him against the wall and asked him who he was calling a banana head. Gary said he had never even heard that term before and he had to yell at his dad not to do that.
Howard said that this next father almost shot this person with a shotgun. Howard said he was going to say it was Benjy. Some of the guys were saying it was Richard. The caller said that he was going to say it was Richard. The person turned out to be Ronnie. Ronnie told the story about how it was actually a 9mm pistol. Ronnie said he came home around 3 in the morning when he was about 19 or 20 and he had gone to the kitchen to get something to drink. He said everyone was asleep and he was bending over getting some soda. He said his father woke up and freaked out thinking it was someone who had broken into the house. Ronnie said he closed the refrigerator door and his father had a pistol in his hand. His father told him he almost shot him. Ronnie said his father was standing there naked too.
Howard said the next person had his father cup his balls and cough to check him for a hernia. Robin knew who it was. Fred said he knew too. The caller said it was Richard. The person turned out to be Howard. Howard has told that story on the air so that's why Robin and Fred knew who it was. Howard explained how his father had checked him for hernia. He said he had him turn his head an cough. He said his father isn't a doctor so it was very strange. Howard said he thinks that the guy may have molested him. He said he's not a doctor and had no idea what he was doing.
This person's father named his kids after his parents and 6 years later temporarily changed their names when he got into a fight with his parents. Artie said that sounds like a crazy Italian thing to do. The caller picked Sal. The caller was right so he finally won his $500. Sal said that he was named after his grandfather and his sister was named after his grandmother. Sal said that he actually changed their names after his father failed to borrow money from his parents. Sal said that his name was changed to Tony for a little while. Howard said that sounds like a lunatic thing to do. Sal said he was in fourth grade at the time. Howard got some laughs out of that story.
Sal said that they all went along with it and it lasted for about 3 months. Sal said his mother called him Sal when he wasn't around but in front of him she had to call him Tony.
Howard read a story about a father who scolded a boy for threatening to fuck his son in the ass. Howard said that had to be Benjy. Benjy said that wasn't him. It had to be Richard then. Richard came in and said that his best friend was chasing him around the yard and he threatened to fuck him in the ass and his dad heard it and thought he was serious. Richard said he saved him from his friend thinking it was real. Howard said he wished his father had saved him from that because it was pretty painful. He was joking.
Howard said Benjy's story was about his father taking him camping in a mall parking lot. Benjy said they just camped out in a mall parking lot one day when they were moving. Benjy said that it was on one of those islands in a parking lot. There wasn't much more to the story than that though.
Howard came back and had the Miss Howard TV coming in next. Her name is Donna. Howard said he heard that Doug Goodstein hadn't left her side all morning. Artie told her she was the hottest chick ever. She knew that he said that with every woman that comes in there.
Howard said Donna looked great in her bathing suit. He asked if she would wear that at the beach or in public. She said she can't imagine why not. Howard said guys would hit on her like crazy in that suit. Artie asked if she would wear it in his apartment. She just laughed.
Howard said that Donna has implants and she's got a D-cup. She's looking to get them even bigger and she's only 5'3'' tall. She said she kind of likes that fake look, she finds it hot.
Howard told her not to go bigger because that will make it more like a sickness. Howard said he read that she tried anal after being inspired by Robin to do it. She said she gave it a shot after Robin talked about it.
Howard asked why Doug was following Donna around. She said she noticed that a little bit. Howard said he's not sure why Doug is doing that but he's apparently cleared time from his schedule to follow her around.
Doug came in and said that he is very smitten with Donna and he thinks that she is maybe the most attractive girl they've had as Miss Howard TV. Doug said that if something were to happen to his wife he'd probably be calling Donna. Howard said he heard that she's single too.
Howard asked Donna about her being an ugly duckling in school. She said she got rid of all of those pictures. She said that she has been married twice already and she's 30 years old. Robin said she wouldn't have guessed that she was 30. Donna thanked her for that.
Howard said Donna would go out with anyone who asked her out because of her low self esteem. Now she's out of that and picking and choosing. Howard said that Artie could probably change her life because she's living at home with her parents again.
Howard heard that two of her ex-boyfriend threatened to kill themselves when she broke up with them. She said they were both losers.
Howard asked Donna about what she does for a living. She did some modeling and she does car and bike shows. She said that she has a regular job too. She works from home though so she doesn't have people hitting on her. She just does data entry from home.
Howard asked Donna about having a threesome with a co-worker and his wife. She said that was in her ugly duckling days. She said that they had played a board game and they ended up kissing and licking and stuff like that. She was drunk so she didn't remember all of the details. Howard said he'd remember every detail if it was him. She said it was fun and they tried it a couple more times after that one.
Donna talked about going to a swinger's club. She said she wasn't that hot back then so that's why they did that. Howard didn't understand why a guy would take her to a club like that.
Donna said that she said she wouldn't show anything on the show. She said her bosses don't want her doing that. Howard asked her about going to the swinger's club and what happens there. She said that it's like a nude beach and the people you see are kind of scary. Donna said that the girl she picked wasn't that good looking. She said she had her boyfriend with her and they set it all up and went into a room and had some fun.
Howard said Donna's pictures are so popular that they crashed his web site. Howard read that she likes to masturbate a lot. He asked her what she thinks about when she does that. She said she thinks about guys she's been with. Howard asked her for details about that. She said that she doesn't usually sleep with much on so it doesn't take much to do it. She said she can do it over her panties. She said she couldn't believe she was talking about this.
Howard asked Donna what she likes when she's having sex. She said she likes to be on all fours and to be spanked. She likes hair pulling too. She hasn't tried the choking thing but she'd like to. Artie said he was going to pass out if this continues.
Howard said she claims to masturbate twice a day and has had 5 orgasms in one day before. Howard asked if she uses a vibrator or her hand. She said she has a vibrator that she will use sometimes. Howard said he really likes this girl. He said he'd like to hang around her like Doug Goodstein is doing. Howard said he thinks Donna should be the permanent Miss Howard TV.
Gary asked if she was going to get topless or ride the Sybian. She said she can't ride the Sybian. She said she might get topless if she could get into Playboy. Howard told her she could get in. He thinks that she has the goods to do that.
Howard spent some more time asking Donna questions about how she tans and if she smokes weed. She said she doesn't smoke. Howard said she's doing a web cast with Mike Gange soon. Artie said that she could say her last name on the air. He said it was ''Lange.'' Howard told Gange not to leave her side today. He told him to have her change outfits every three seconds. Gange said he was going to do that. He said he could bring her back in if he wanted. Howard told Gange to just go do his work.
Howard said they were unable to get Mike Walker on the phone so they were going to go to the news block after a break. Howard asked who found Miss Howard TV. Gange said they deal with this woman from Maria's Angels and she's kind of a casting girl for them. She recommended Donna.
Howard said he went to pee during the break and realized how small his penis was. He said he's afraid that Chastity Bono's fake penis is going to be bigger than his. He said that would be very sad. Howard wondered if doctors ever see his penis and wonder if it's a neo-penis. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he's becoming more of a Bruce Springsteen fan. He said he didn't get it in the past but now he likes the guy. He said he likes ''Born in the USA'' after hearing it on Coffee House recently. He said he changed his opinion on that stuff. Robin said that Howard is very fickle. Howard said he knows he is.
Howard said he likes that Black Eyed Peas song too and he's thinking about using that for his funeral. Howard said he had a weird fantasy. He said that he thought about selling that beat to the band. Robin said that he has to come up with those beats to be able to sell them. Howard said he also imagines going into a pitch meeting with the band and pitching that beat to them. He said all of that goes through his head and he wondered if that was weird. Robin said it is weird.
Howard said he'd like to have a bidding war for his beats and then Fergie has to blow him to get the beat. He wondered who came up with that beat and wondered if they thought it was stupid and then gets rich off of it.
Howard said he likes Tom Petty now too and he didn't like him in the past. He said he hears the Springsteen stuff on Coffee House and really likes it. He said he's not as nuts as Ross Zapin is though. He doesn't have to go to every single concert like Ross does. Fred played a Baba Booey song parody to the tune of that Black Eyed Peas song.
Howard said he thinks she's pretty clear on that whole thing and he likes to get it over with as quick as possible and not make a whole deal out of jerking off.
Steve said that they interviewed Joe Buck and he told them that he likes the show. Steve also brought up the auctions that Gary did for Life Beat and how they got huge bids on some stuff Gary put up for auction. They raised a lot of money for the charity. Howard said Beth has been able to raise a lot for the North Shore Animal League too.
Howard saw Ross in Gary's office so he asked him when Springsteen is playing next. Ross said he's off for a while but he's going to Rome to see him perform this summer. He's taking his vacation based around that concert.
Howard said Ross gives him a hard time about playing chess when he goofs on him about the Springsteen thing. Howard said that the whole Springsteen thing makes him think that Ross is mentally ill.
Gary asked Ross how many concerts he's been to. Ross said it's over 100 but he doesn't have a count. He has every ticket stub though and he could count them. Howard asked Ross how old he is. Ross is 45 and still going to concerts like a kid.
Howard said maybe Bruce is doing concerts around the world just to see where Ross will follow him. Ross said that he's going to bring one of his signs with him to Rome to get him to play something. Howard asked Ross if he would take a dick in his ass to get Bruce to play a private concert for him. Ross said he would think about it but that's pretty special.
Howard asked Ross to sing some Springsteen for them. Ross refused. Howard said he's seen Ross at a concert and he's on his Blackberry all the time texting his friends about what song is playing. Ross said there are crazier people out there than him. The guys told him that's not a great excuse.
Howard had Ross dance for him because he heard that he did one when he gets drunk. Ross did the dance and it was apparently very effeminate. Howard let Ross go a short time later. He said that's the director of promotions for Sirius right there. It turns out he's the General Manager of promotions. Howard said he does a great job there.
Steve got back to his news preview and said that Gary has to carry around a jug to pee in to keep an eye on his kidney stone problems. Howard said that jug would be another great charity auction item.
Howard said he was thinking about Ross' job and said that he hasn't seen Sirius promoted anywhere. He said that the only thing he's seen is pictures of himself in a hat. Howard asked Ross where they promote. Ross said they have some promotions on Yahoo today. They're taking over Yahoo today. Gary checked that out and said they have the iPhone app out today (which doesn't include Howard's channels... brilliant) and they had that promoted on there.
Jon Hein came in and ran down his Wrap Up Show subjects for today's show. Howard asked Jon what he thought of Miss Howard TV. Jon said she was hot. Artie asked how he can't jerk off to her. Artie said he'd be jerking off to her by 11:02 today.
Howard said he knows that Jon is mad at Robin for not reading a story about the Pittsburgh Penguins win. Robin said she was actually going to do that story today. They spent a little time talking about how great the fans are out in Pittsburgh.
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Howard talked about these programs that were set up to do good and how there are people ripping them off. He said people just abuse the system. They goofed on that guy after Artie said that he had seen him on TV in his outfit.
Robin asked if they think that Elliot Spitzer should try to get his career going again. Howard said that he's kind of got a taint to him now and people won't let him. He said that they find him to be such a hypocrite that they can't trust him. Howard said there are some guys who can do crazy stuff and get away with it. He mentioned President Clinton and Fred brought up Ted Kennedy.
Howard suggested some things that Spitzer could do instead of getting back into politics. Howard said he's a lawyer and he could do some stuff that would keep him in the public eye. He said he might want to go out and kill Osama bin Laden. Howard said he can imagine Osama seeing Spitzer and asking him if he was the one with the whores.
Robin read a story about a 12 year old who lost part of a finger and suffered burns when some fireworks went off in his hand. The father of the kid had given it to him to hold so he was charged with a few things since the fireworks were illegal.
Robin read about Hillary Clinton breaking her elbow in a fall yesterday. Howard said she must not have been wearing her pads just like Robin. Robin said she has to go in for surgery to fix the elbow. Howard said that's a big problem when you break something like that.
Robin had her cast off and just had a splint on today. Robin said it was small and she could take it on and off. She said the scar is still covered. She said that it's not too bad though. Howard asked if she could type with it. Robin said she can type and she starts physical therapy next week. She said she can move her wrist but it's painful. Robin said one of the ''guys from E!'' ran into her earlier and ran right into her hand.
Robin read about the Pittsburgh Penguins fans turning out to cheer on their team. They had over 300,000 people show up for that. She said they had more fans than even the Lakers did.
Howard said Benjy found out that Pittsburgh only had 334,000 people in the city. Howard said that means that almost every single person in the city showed up to the parade. Howard said that's the way to celebrate.
Robin read about the U.S. Open in Bethpage Park. Howard said that park is one of the most beautiful places he's seen. He said you wouldn't expect that out on Long Island.
Gary said that he was reading about the Pittsburgh thing and they say that it's actually about 2.4 million people in the Pittsburgh metro area. Benjy tried arguing but it went nowhere.
Robin had some audio of Tiger Woods talking about the U.S. Open. She also had some audio of Phil Mickelson talking about that and about his wife who has cancer.
Robin had some audio from a 911 tape where some guys broke into a house and started shooting as they were on the phone. Robin said it doesn't sound like it does in the news. Howard said it sounded kind of like ping pong. The woman was on the phone and pretended that she was dead to get rid of the guys. She said that they shot another person a few times. Howard said that was scary. Robin said that one woman and her 9 year old daughter were shot dead in that attack.
Robin had some other 911 tapes where a woman was talking about something that had just happened out on a highway with her husband. The husband ended up dying when he was stun gunned.
Robin read a story about fast food and how living near a restaurant doesn't automatically mean they're going to get fat. Howard said they do that because schools will say that it's a bad influence and won't let them build one near them. Howard said it does seem like a waste of money to do a study like that though.
Robin said that hunger is a problem in this country. Howard said Artie doesn't have that problem. He said he ate his pancakes like a wood chipper. Robin said that 1 in 8 Americans are going hungry.
Robin read a story about it being ''dump the pump day'' today. She had some audio of a woman talking about how people should be taking mass transit today.
Robin read some news about Amy Winehouse's parents being worried about their daughter's health. Howard and the guys all said that it's about time they noticed. Robin said her parents are saying that Amy is in denial about her health.
Robin read some news about the new movie that Betty White and Sandra Bullock are in. She had some audio of Betty White talking about that. Howard said he likes Betty White. Artie said that she was great on the William Shatner roast that he did. Artie said that she had a great line about how she was going to out live Artie Lange.
Robin read some news about the Jonas Brothers and how they're not having sex. They'll be talking about that on Larry King Live tonight. Artie said those kids seem really creepy to him. They played some of their music and goofed on that a little bit.
Robin read about Daniel Baldwin being on ''I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here'' and played some clips of him talking about how tough it was out in the jungle. Howard said that all of the Baldwin brothers sound very much alike. He said you can't even tell them apart.
Robin read about Billy Joel and his wife Katie separating after 5 years of marriage. Howard said he called Katie about that and tried to call Billy about it but he doesn't have his number. Howard said Billy has like 27 numbers and it's constantly changing.
Howard said he knew that something was up with them when they hung out with them two weeks ago. He said he doesn't think that Katie is a cheater though. He said that he was act their wedding 5 years ago. Howard said he thinks that they did love each other but things may have gotten shitty. Howard said they're both very nice people and he wishes them luck.
Robin said that Courtney Love is working on a new album and she's saying that the album will be released under the ''Hole'' moniker.
Ralph called in and asked if Howard could hook him up with Katie. He said he'd like to go out to really nice restaurants. Howard said that he might be able to do that. Ralph said he thinks that Katie is stunning and he knows she's a great cook.
Robin read more about the Courtney Love story and then read a story about the band Journey going out and touring. Howard said that they have a Filipino kid in that band now and he apparently wants out. Howard and the guys spent a minute talking about that. Howard said Steve Perry could be raking in the money if he would go out on tour with the band.
Robin had some audio of Woody Allen talking about working with Larry David in his new movie. Howard said it seems to be really hard for Woody to get his words out. He ended up goofing on Woody for a couple of minutes. They played some Wood Yi stuff too. They ended the show around 10:45am.
Jon asked Sal to come down and talk about it. Jon said the only one that he knew for sure was Howard's story and only because he had told it before. Gary said Sal had the best story. He thought DePace's story was funny but it was just a quick moment. Sal has had a lot of things like that go on in his life.
Gary said that story about Sal was borderline child abuse. He said Sal was in 4th grade at the and that's the worst time to change your kid's name. Jon had Teddy play a clip from the show where Sal told some of that story.
After the clip Jon said that had to have a lasting effect on Sal. He said that Sal was ''Tony'' for four months. Gary said no one else had a story that lasted for four months.
Gary talked about some of the other stories they told and how interesting they were. Gary said they were all good.
Sal came in so Jon congratulated him on the game. He said it was a great game. Sal said he was worried about that game. Sal said it worked out good in the end even though some people had stories they didn't want revealed.
Jon asked Sal if he had a clue what was going on back then or if he just went along with it. Sal said he was terrified but that's the way things were in his house. Gary asked if he ever had to tell his friends what was going on. Sal said he went to the principal's office and they didn't change his name in school. Sal said he had to lie about what his name was to his dad so he thought that they were calling him ''Tony'' there.
Sal said his father made the whole family turn against his grandparents so it was rough. Sal said his father was all mad about them not giving him some money. Sal said his father was all worried about money but he would come home with stacks of lottery tickets.
Sal said they once had a homeless guy come into the pizzeria and told his dad to check the brakes on his car. Then he had him fill out some lottery tickets because he thought he might be some kind of psychic.
Sal said his father used to tell them to write down any numbers they had in their dreams because they might win something with those numbers. Sal said his father once won $30,000 in the lottery and he thinks that he was playing like $100 or more a day in tickets. He still does it too. He'll actually drive to other states to buy tickets.
Sal said he once bought some Mexican jumping beans at a store and his father went over and got some paper and wrote numbers on it. The beans would jump on the numbers and those are the numbers his father would play. Sal said his father is illiterate but he knows his numbers. He said everything is about lotto for him.
Gary said he thought the part of the story that was sad was where Sal had to go and tell the family that their names were changed. Sal said that his father made everyone call them by their new names. He said his father was insane. He said it's all coming out in therapy for him and that's why it's so fresh in his head right now.
Sal said that he was named after his father once the whole thing went down. His sister was named after his mother.
Sal said that his grandparents eventually made up with his father and loaned him the money he was looking for. Sal said he got his old name back once that happened.
Gary asked Sal if he ever asked him about that later on in life. Sal said he can't even bring that up now. Sal said his father is pretty irrational so he can't even talk to him about stuff like that.
Sal said he's still scared of his father and he can't confront him about this stuff. Sal said that there are a ton of stories coming out in therapy. He said they're coming out like a spigot just got opened.
Sal said there are certain things that he does that are influenced by what his father did raising him so he's working on changing those.
Sal talked about some of the stuff that they had in the game and said he liked Scott's story. He said that Will has some stories to tell too but they don't want to let them out. He said he hopes to get them out by next year.
Ronnie said he was laughing his ass off about the Sal story today. Ronnie said that his story was pretty wild too. He said that the house was pitch black when that happened. Ronnie told some of the story over again and said that it was very dark in the house at the time. He said he thought it was a very funny story.
Jon went to the phones and took a call from a guy who asked Sal why this wasn't a problem before he got married. The caller said this stuff is a bunch of bullshit. He said that every woman can make you miserable no matter what. Sal said he thought the last thing that would come out in therapy was his dad. He said the guy kept digging and got him to talk about it and now he sees how bad things were.
Gary said that the caller was asking why the problems with his father are coming out now and they didn't cause problems earlier on. Gary said that you end up becoming the person that your parents raised later on in life. Sal said his wife was treating him like a mother so that stuff started to come out.
The caller told Gary that he's the same guy he was 15 years ago. Gary said he's really not the same though. He said he's changed a lot.
The caller said that he dated a girl for 7 years and then when he got married to her she stopped shaving in the winter. He said that she had shaved every winter in the 7 years before that though.
Another caller said that the game was good today but the rules were kind of screwy. Gary said they weren't sure how to play it so they left the rules kind of loose. He said it worked out just fine though.
Gary said they had to bring Richard up on the air today because he's been noticeably absent from the show lately. Ronnie said Richard has been complaining about people bothering him. He said Richard bothers him every day and that takes balls to say something like that. Richard said that he was saying the opposite because people were complaining about him bothering them.
Richard said that whole Will thing bothered him and he wanted to get away from that for a while. Richard said he didn't want to go near Will for a while after he yelled at him like a little kid. He said it made him feel weird doing his job after that.
Gary explained to Richard that he has to be the filter on the show and if he's not interested in something they shouldn't keep bringing it back to him. Richard said he had a great story about going to Alabama to do a comedy show and Gary kind of acted like it wasn't that good. Gary said that means he didn't think it was good for the air.
Jason said that he's pissed at Richard. Richard said he was pissed he had to hear Jason's voice on the air right now. Jason went on to say that Will had to take a bad rap today because of what they're actually doing to him. He said that Sal and Richard are the ones who slow down the whole process out there. He said that Richard thinks that his jokes have to be the prime focus and he won't let go of them.
Jason said that the day Richard and Will got into a fight it was very noisy in there and both Richard and Sal were calling in at the same time so Will had to yell at them to call in one at a time. Jason said that what Richard is doing is only hurting the show. He also called Richard an asshole.
Sal said that Jason was just trying to get air time. Jason said at least he's not exploiting his dad for 5 hours to get air time. Richard said it had been a nice 2 months not having to talk to that asshole. He said Jason is the reason he won't go into the office. He said he throws people under the bus and people don't trust him at all. Richard said he doesn't trust him at all. He said no one does.
Jon said that Jason was pissed off at the way Richard was talking about Will today. He said he saw him in the office. Jon said that Richard is also pissed at Jason so he has to let him get his thoughts out. Richard said that there's a way to tell someone to calm down and Will didn't treat him right that day. He said he doesn't want to be treated like shit, he wants to be respected. Jason laughed at that.
Gary said that they could do that if they weren't doing a live show. He said they have deadlines and sometimes the pressure is high and they have to do that kind of thing. They all have short fuses and you just have to shake it off.
Gary said he understands why Richard is so upset but he needs to shake it off because they have another show to do in 16 hours. Gary said he listens to Will on the phones and he is a testy little devil. He said it's best not to piss him off.
Sal said that it's embarrassing to be yelled at in front of the interns in the office. Jon asked Will if he thinks his anger is squashing the exuberance of the others. Will said he always yells at those guys and he's not sure why Richard got so upset. He said that he did apologize to Richard the next day but Richard stopped coming into the office.
Will said that he likes these guys and he's not mad at them. Sal said they love Will too. Jason is another story though. Jon said they'd get to that in a minute.
Sal and Richard have been dealing with Will in a different way now and Richard said that's the way he has to deal with these things. Richard said he wanted to stay away from Will for a while. Richard was so upset that he was near tears while talking about this stuff. Richard said he's not a hard ass midget like Ronnie is.
Gary asked Richard if he and Sal know that they're calling Will at the same time. Richard said they don't know that sometimes. Richard said they just do their jobs and sometimes they don't know that they're doing that stuff.
Jason asked Richard if Will should just ignore him like he's doing to Will. Jon asked Jason why he's so fired up about this. Jason said it's because Richard is being such a baby today and playing that victim card on the air.
Richard said he thinks that Will treats them all differently there too. Jon said that Will tells everyone to fuck off so he treats them all the same in his opinion. the only person Will doesn't say that to is Gary. Jason said he whispers that under his breath.
Gary said that Sal and Richard have been laying back and not coming to him with stuff. He said they cut him off for like 2 months. He said he thinks that Richard was basically pouting back there. Gary said he has to deal with everyone on the show with stuff and they just have to figure out a good way to work that stuff out.
Ronnie said Jason has a lot of anger in him lately. He said that he's climbing all over everyone lately. Jason said he's not sure what the changes are. Ronnie said that he can't give a particular answer but it seems like Jason gets really angry if you joke around with him. Jason said he loves Ronnie and he's not sure what he's talking about.
Jason said that Richard is still mad about him for stuff that he said about him 3 years ago. Jason said he loves that he doesn't want to talk to him and if that's the case then just stay away from him. Richard said he's fine with that. Jason said he is too.
Jason said that Richard will bring that excuse up every time there's an argument and he's fine with it. Richard said he's fine too and nobody in the office would ever tell anything confidential to Jason because he'll go right on the air with stuff. Jason said that no one tells him anything private. He said that in a sarcastic way because apparently people do tell him stuff.
Benjy said that this is almost a management issue. He said that Howard kind of came down on Will for doing what he did and maybe he needs to figure out if Will is supposed to be managing the phones or not. Benjy said that sometimes you just get treated like shit there. Gary said that no one is going out of their way to treat anyone like shit there. He said that Will is doing his job and some people may not agree with the way he does it.
Ralph called in and said he gets why Sal and Richard are steering clear of that stuff. He asked Richard if he knows what passive aggressive behavior is. Richard said he didn't know what it was until he started there. Ralph said he's displaying that behavior by doing what he's doing. He said that he gets why he wants to do what he's doing but he has to act like an adult and get over it. Ralph told Richard he has to just deal with this stuff like an adult. Gary said that hiding in his office isn't the right way to deal with it. Richard said that's the way he deals with things though.
Richard said it hasn't been two months either. He said it's a little over a month. Richard said that things are resolved now. He said he and Will are fine now. Richard said that it takes him time to get over stuff and what Jason did is really hard for him.
Benjy said that they're giving Richard shit for this and it seems like he's dealing with this stuff. Sal said that Richard has been dealing with Gary lately with stuff so he's not sure why Gary is saying that he doesn't bring him anything.
Sal asked Jason if he feels any guilt at all for what he did to Richard. Jason said he felt bad at the time and he let Richard know that. He said he didn't realize the shit storm it was going to turn into. He said he did apologize to him over it. Jason said Richard told him he was going to get over it but he's not sure how long he's supposed to apologize for it. He said that happened 3 years ago.
Richard said they were getting along fine until Jason brought this stuff up on the air. Jason said that they're not fine though because he brought up that incident from 4 years ago again. Jon said they had to take a break and they'd get back to this stuff and more.
Gary asked Richard if he's forgiven Jason for what he did. He said he has but he can't trust him now. Gary asked if he has broken his trust since then. Richard said he hasn't with him but with other people he has. He said he will go on the air and say things that he doesn't realize are going to affect other people.
Will said that Jason won't talk about private stuff if you ask him not to. Jon said that they do have to make that decision to go on the air and that can be a tough thing when you're thinking about bringing it up. Gary said he'll actually bounce it off of other people before he'll go on the air.
Sal asked Will who he trusts the least. Will said he's not sure who that would be. He said that there's a code there where you don't throw them under the bus. Gary said that's part of working there though. He said that Will has thrown him under the bus a few times.
Gary said that Will will goof on him and put up lines from articles and things to get Howard to goof on him even more.
Jason came back in and said that Richard never asked him not to bring that Artie stuff up on the air. Jason said that he never asked him not to bring it up on the air. He said he just saw a discussion going on and mentioned that to Howard.
Gary said he's seen Will bring stuff up to Howard on the computer and he doesn't catch shit for that. He said it's just part of what goes on there.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they had some great radio the last couple of segments. The guy said that they don't seem to be trying to throw anyone under the bus. They're just bringing stuff up on the air to keep it like a family. He said that they seem to be trying to work things out as a family. Gary said that he doesn't think that's what Jason was doing.
Jason hasn't brought up anything else about Richard on the air so Gary wondered why Richard is still so mad. Richard said that he can still be friends with him but he can't trust him anymore.
Ralph said that Jason may not have realized it was going to cross a line. He said Jason thought it was interesting and didn't know where it was going to go. He said Jason apologized for it and he really should just get over it.
Will said that Ralph is the one who he doesn't trust. He was just reminded about that. Sal said he trusts Ralph because they've had some good times in Atlantic City and stuff. He said he trusts him with discussions and stuff. Ralph said that they have to make Howard happy and they just get caught up in that sometimes. Jason asked the guys if they trust him. Gary said he does. They had to end the show after that.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 10:50am.