|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show talking about how ready he was to go this morning. He said he didn't swear once when his alarm went off at 4 in the morning. Howard said yesterday he watched some Fringe.
Robin asked if he ever saw Green Lantern. Howard said he did and he loved it. He thought it was well done and loved the special effects. Howard said he thought they did a good job telling the story of Hal Jordan. He said that he learned a way to overcome his fear. Robin said she thought he was always fearless. Howard said the ring picked the right guy. Robin said he had to conquer his fear first. Howard said the ring picked the right guy. He did the job. Robin said he was filled with fear though. Howard said he had courage and he can't believe he's arguing about this at 6 in the morning.
Robin said she thought that this was a set up for the Avengers and he'd be appearing in that. Howard said she's confusing DC and Marvel. Howard tried explaining the ring to Robin and how it picked him because it knew he was capable of overcoming his fears. Howard said that she's wrong about the Avengers too. He said that he's part of the Justice League of America. Robin said they may never see another Green Lantern movie then.
Howard said that he knows who is in the Justice League. Howard rattled of their names. He said he doesn't know all of the Avengers though. He said he wasn't an Avengers reader. He was more of a DC reader than a Marvel reader. Marvel came along later for him.
Howard told Benjy to find the box office for Green Lantern. He said he might need to get that iPhone with Siri in it. Howard said he watched 60 Minutes with Steve Jobs. He said he's going to have to get that book about him. Robin said that Green Lantern made $116 million. Howard said it probably didn't make money then.
Howard said that Patti Smith is one of Meg Griffin's favorites. Howard said that Meg Griffin was actually the first VJ hired at MTV. He said that she claims that she was walking by Bob Pitman's office and heard him talking about the VJ's he had hired. She took offense and didn't like that she was only being paid 50 grand. He said that she just didn't show up the first day they were taping. She says she knows it was wrong but she didn't care.
Howard said they went out and hired Martha Quinn after that. Howard said Meg turned down that job but she was a VH1 VJ for a while too. Howard said she walked away from that eventually too. Howard said Gary tells him that she had a lot of money growing up but Meg claims she didn't. Howard said she did have a horse growing up so he sees that as having money. He said she claims that she was middle class or lower middle class.
Robin said Meg is probably down at that Occupy Wall Street thing. Howard said that he's trying to get behind that but there is a lot of anti-Semitism down there from what he's heard. Robin asked where he's getting his news. Howard said it's coming from the NY Post so he's not sure if it's true or not. Howard said he saw some interviews going on down there and they had a lot of anti-Semitic remarks from the people down there. Robin said they're doing the same thing with the Tea Party. They're making them out to be racist. Gary said he heard there's also a group of Jewish people down there with a Sukkah they built. Howard said he knows there are a lot of things going on but there's a lot of weird shit going on down there. Robin said they're spinning this just for Howard. She said he'd have to go down there to see for himself.
Robin told Howard that he'd have to go down there but she hasn't been there herself. She said she's been reading articles about both sides and she knows from that. Howard said that she hasn't been there either then. She said that they should both go down there.
Robin said she saw an interview with a woman who said that she was just down there to be part of history. Howard said that some people were playing Sal and Richard's interviews from down there and this FOX News guy went off on him for that. Howard said they have a show on FOX News where they have five people talking about their opinions and they joke around too much. He said it's not funny. Howard said he can't watch that.
Howard played the audio of this guy Bob Beckles going off on him. In the clip Bob was calling him a bum and wondering why they spend time on this son of a bitch. Howard said you have to listen to this guy. They asked him why he doesn't like Howard Stern. Bob said Howard sent some people down there... Howard said he didn't send them down there, they went on their own. Howard said he didn't have any agenda. Beckles talks about what they did with the interviews and how they made it seem like they were making it sound like everyone down there had no idea why they ere there. Howard said they're a comedy show. He said that's not their job.
Howard played more of the clip and the FOX News show played a clip from his show. Then that Bob Beckles guy told Howard to cut his hair and stop talking about filthy, dirty hippies. Howard said that they went down and found those people down there and that's what they were saying. They were dopey people talking about getting rid of money. Howard said that woman has probably never held a job in her life.
Howard said there are a lot of people who are unemployable because they're whacked out of their skull. He said that woman was one of them.
Benjy looked up some stuff about Bob Beckles and he found that he may have been a recovering drug and alcoholic. Howard said that he doesn't know that to be true. He said the guy does sound unstable though. Howard said that whole show seems unstable.
Howard read some of the comments and people were going off on him about a bunch of stuff. Howard said that this let people make fun of him and his wife. He said that's the media. Howard said he's going to handle this himself. He wants Howard 100 News to back off of it. Howard said this web site is called Houston.Culturemap.com and he's not sure what the story is there. He said that they claim that Beth summers with this guy Nacho Figueras and the extent of the relationship is that she shook his hand once. Howard said he's not sure where the story comes from. He wants to talk to the reporter himself.
Howard said that he and Beth barely leave the house. He said he was joking around about her new boyfriend but they really don't go out. Robin said Beth goes out. Howard said she doesn't go out that much. She goes out like once a week. Howard said he doesn't go out at all. He said she'll drag him along once in a while.
Howard said the article actually came from a web site called CaptainWag.com. He said now it's going to be a story out there and it's just not true.
The caller asked Robin if her show is live or taped. Robin said it's taped. She said they do that so she doesn't have to be there on Thursday. The caller said they go over so many things in that show. He said they cram a lot into it in an hour. Robin said they may do it live at times. She said they're working out the kinks.
Howard said he told Robin that he thinks it's one of the best produced things he's heard on radio. He said he enjoys it very much. Robin said it's called The Chatter and it airs on Thursday's at 1pm.
Howard said he thinks it's a mistake giving her the show. He said she's going to want to go off on her own. Robin said it pales in comparison to working on this show. Robin said that Will is the one who books the guests for the show. Howard said that Will actually has talent. He said he had no idea.
Howard said he's proud of Will. Will came in and said he appreciates that. He said it's been a lot of fun so far. He said that they work at it all week long. He said they have a whole group working on it. He said they have Jim McClure and JD working on it too.
Howard said Richard and Sal went out and interviewed people about Gaddafi. Howard said there are a couple of weird things. He said he used to have that great hair but they found out that it was a wig. Howard and Robin talked about some of the other things they learned about Gaddafi and his family. Howard said that it was great to see the guy who shot the guy wearing a Yankee's cap. Howard said that he never thought he'd see the day when Gaddafi's own people would kill him. Howard said that they wonder why Gaddafi didn't kill himself. He said he didn't even have a gun on him.
Howard said that Richard and Sal went out and found people who were upset that Gaddafi was dead. Howard said they found this African guy first. Howard played the clip and they asked him how he felt. The guy said they didn't have to kill him. The guy said that he thought Gaddafi did a lot for his country. He also liked the way he dressed. Sal asked if one of the great things he did was kill people who were against him.
Howard said he read that Obama is getting the troops out of Iraq. Howard said he's impressed by that. Robin said they're supposed to be out by the end of the year.
Howard said Obama has done quite a bit in office. He said they got rid of Osama bin Laden, Gaddafi and now he's getting us out of Iraq. Howard said he's impressed. Robin said that he hasn't been successful turning the economy around. Robin said they say it might not help get him reelected. Howard said the economy will drag him down.
Howard said this Mitt Romney seems to have the republican nomination pretty much wrapped up. He said he thinks he'll be the one. Robin said the republican party is getting crazier and crazier.
Howard said when Sal and Richard went out on the street and asked who is better looking, Howard Stern or Gaddafi, they found some women who said that it was Gaddafi. Howard said he can't believe that. Robin said that they put his body in a meat locker and let people go out and look at him. Robin said that he's stripped to his waist and people are all filing by to see his dead body. Howard said a lot of people don't believe it when they say someone is dead. He said there are people who don't think Osama is dead. Howard said these people wanted to see the dead body. Howard said there are a bunch of guys who didn't make it into the meat locker who were killed. Gary said those people are out in the sun baking.
Gary told Howard there are a lot of women who don't like him in this clip he's going to play. He said that Sal and Richard found a lot of women who really don't like him. Howard played the clip and Sal and Richard were asking this woman what she felt when Gaddafi died. She said she was upset. She thought he was a cool dude and he had some cool clothes. She said that they shouldn't have killed him. She said if he was white they wouldn't have killed him. They asked her who she finds sexier. She said that Howard Stern is a fucking piece of shit. She said she's Coco from Yonkers and fuck Howard Stern. She said he looks like he has AIDS with Hepatitis C and he's a fucking piece of white shit.
Howard said that he's so despised. He said black people usually like him. He said he may have to go back on channel 9. He said there were some other women who were feeling the same way. Howard said maybe he should be honored. He said he must be a great man if the woman likes Gaddafi and hates him.
Howard played another clip of Sal and Richard asking a woman about Gaddafi. She was worried about the repercussions of what might happen. Then they asked her about Howard Stern or Gaddafi. She said Howard is gross as soon as he opens his mouth. They asked what his worst feature was and she basically said it was his whole face. Howard said she was half dead doing the interview and then she livens up when she hears his voice.
Howard said it was ridiculous how many women despise him. Howard played another one where the boys asked a couple of women about Gaddafi. When they heard Howard Stern they said that they were both equally repellant. Howard said ''What the fuck?'' He said he thought he was charming. Robin said if they were in a room with him they would be.
Howard said Beth's mother wasn't too thrilled when she found out that he was dating her daughter. Howard said she came to like him. Howard said Gaddafi was behind the bombing of Pan Am flight 103 and people like him better. Howard said this is very upsetting.
Howard played another interview the boys did with a Swedish woman. She said she just read it in the paper and she's not sure if she should believe it. She said she hopes that it's the truth.
Howard said he's going to say that life begins 10 years before conception. Howard said that would get him some votes. Howard played more of the clip and Piers was asking if one of his kids was raped, would he want that child to raise that baby. Cain said it's not up to the government to make that decision. He said that it's ultimately up to the family or mother to make that choice. He said he's not the one to make that decision. Piers said that would be his view if he was President and it becomes very important. Howard said that you think the guy is against it personally but then he says it's not up to the government. Howard said it's very confusing.
Howard had another interview where he was talking to John Stossel. Cain was saying the same things and he was saying that people shouldn't be free to abort but he was also saying that it's legal to do it. Stossel was confused by his position. Cain said it's a woman's choice. He said that abortion should not be legal though. Cain said he doesn't believe that a woman should be able to have an abortion. He said that he believes that we should protect the sanctity of life. Robin said he said that it was up to the family but then he says that abortion shouldn't be legal and then he said that government shouldn't have anything to do with it. Howard said he appears to be on everyone's side but now he sounds like a complete and utter imbecile.
Howard said anyone who makes that shitty pizza and has the balls to call it pizza shouldn't be President. Robin said she's had that pizza and it's not pizza. She said it's like cardboard with red stuff and white stuff on it.
Howard said he thought he had his eating under control but he's up 15 pounds since the start of the summer. He said he's going to start running today and knock off that 15 pounds. He said he has to run to Alabama to lose it. Howard said he'll end up looking like Colonel Gaddafi.
Robin said that they captured Gaddafi alive and it's not clear how he ended up dead. Howard said he heard that he may have started to run away and they shot him in the leg and head. Robin said they had his son drinking water but then he had wounds in his neck and he was dead. Robin said she wants to know how they did it. Howard said they executed the guy. He said they're not going to give him a trial. He said they've been trying to kill him for like a year now.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that his next book should be called ''Quite Frankly.'' Howard said he's gotten letters about how he says ''Quite frankly'' too much. He said so what and told the caller to fuck off. The caller said he loves Howard despite his small penis and turkey neck.
The caller, Tommy, said that Nancy Grace is still on Dancing With the Stars because she's lobbying for votes on her show. Howard said he's going to vote for David Arquette. He said that David is a friend of the show. Howard said that he didn't know who Nancy Grace was but he's heard she has an advice show. Tommy said she's despicable. Howard said they got rid of Carson Kressley and he was fun on the show.
Tommy asked if he thinks that Courteney is in the audience so people will think that they're getting back together. Howard said she has to go home. Howard said she dumped him and she shouldn't be there. Howard had to hang up on Tommy because he kept talking over him. Howard said if he ran Dancing with the Stars he'd have Courteney escorted out by security. Howard said he loves her and he's partied with her. He said that he hopes she comes back again but as an observer of the show he thinks she shouldn't be there.
Howard had David on the phone. He said that the guy is constantly dancing and practicing. Howard said it means a lot to the guy. David said he does things to his fullest. Howard said he thinks that the guy has fucked his partner. Robin doesn't think so. David said no. Howard said they'll never know it if they do.
Howard said that the second thing he knows is that this show means a lot to David and it's even more than the Scream sequels. Howard said it's embarrassing but he's into it. Howard said he gets better and better. David said that's what it's all about. He said it's all about getting better.
Howard said he's going to tell David his thinking here. He said this ex-wife of his has to get out of there. David said that she was just saying that Howard was being nice again. Howard said she's misguided. Howard said so is David. Howard asked if she dumped him and if she's out banging guys. David said that's just not the case. He said that he knows everything that's going on. Howard said she's no longer his wife and she broke up the family. Howard said that he knows it takes two to tango and he's spoken to both of them about this.
David said that they still love each other and he would have given it another chance if he could have. Howard said he would be in bed with her now if he was single. Howard said he'd be in the audience watching if he was single. Howard said that he's the one who will stay home with her and keep her company. He said he's so right for her. Howard said this has nothing to do with him hating her. Howard said that he's going to tell David something. He said that he worked harder on this show than she did on saving the marriage.
Howard said that the woman who should be in the audience is the woman who he's been having a relationship with. Howard said they'd probably pay for her to fly out there. Howard said that they should show an empty seat in the audience instead of showing Courteney there. Howard said that guy J.R. has no one sitting there for him. Howard said he has a great story though.
Howard asked David not to wear the gay clothes anymore. David said that he wants to be the best dancer he can be so he'll do whatever it takes. Howard asked if he told Courteney what he's dancing to tonight. David said he did. Howard said he might get kicked off for that. Howard said he hopes that it's something from La Cage. He said that it would be great if he wore that phantom mask or something. Howard said maybe he'll be dancing to the Spider-Man play.
Robin asked what dance he'll be doing tonight. David said that he'll be doing the quick step. Howard said he should stick his cock up Bruno's ass to get a 10 out of him. Howard said he thinks that J.R. is unbeatable. Howard said he's a vet and he's good. Howard said that David isn't going to win. Robin said that it will come down to Chaz and J.R. Howard said he thinks it'll be Rikki Lake and J.R.
Howard said he's voting for David tonight. He said he will stay awake and vote for him at least 3 times. Howard said he should tell Courteney to sit home. David said he loves her support. Howard said it's costing him votes. Howard said he knows people who are irritated by that whole thing. David said that he and Courteney still love each other very much. Howard said that's bullshit. He said that if you love each other you stay together. David asked why he's no longer married to his first wife. Howard said that's because they don't love each other anymore. Robin said she's not irritated by Courteney being there. She said she's fascinated by it.
Howard said that Courteney is going to keep going every week. He said it's fine for his daughter to be there. He said that she's blood. Howard said Courteney doesn't need to be there. Howard said that even she must be asking why they can't stay married. Howard said the kid looks confused. He said he can see that on her face on the show.
Howard asked David if he's visited his girlfriend in New York. David said that he was there a couple of weeks ago but she came out to visit him there in Los Angeles. Howard said he'd love to see her in the audience. Howard said he'd fly her out there himself. David said that he should come out with Beth. Howard said he would. He said he'd like to support him. He said it would be better than that Courteney.
Howard said if he went out there he'd drag Courteney out of the audience and tell her that he's there for David now so she can leave. David said that they're really good friends with each other. He said they don't have to go into a battleground. Howard said within a year they'll stop talking to each there. David said no way. Howard said we'll see. David said they don't have to attack each other.
Howard asked David if he's had any offers coming in. David said they have 5 more weeks of this show. He said he hasn't been in contact with his agent much. He said they sold a couple of shows. He said they have a game show going on and a couple of scripted shows for ABC and NBC. Howard asked what the game show is. David said it's the Celebrity Name Game and it's hosted by Craig Ferguson. Robin asked what he's doing working with him. David said the game is the game you play where you say stuff about a famous person and people guess who it is. Howard had David give them some examples. He mentioned some things about a couple of people and they turned out to be Gandhi and Adam Sandler. Howard didn't get them right. Robin was doing pretty well.
Howard asked David if he's shaving the sides of his head. He said that he's looking like Hitler a little. David said ''Uh oh...'' Howard told him to let it grow out.
Howard asked what kind of money they have to give to Craig Ferguson. David said he didn't want to get into that. Howard asked if they signed a contract with him. He said they did. Gary said they sold a sitcom too. Gary gave him some information about that.
David asked if they knew that Sue Mengers died. Howard said he didn't know who she was. Howard said that he was at a party and Jack Nicholson asked why he didn't want to meet her. Howard said he was at a wedding and he did meet with her. Howard said she died. David said that he was obsessed with her. He said he painted a painting of her and posted it all over the city. He said he posted it on the Oscar route and she called him and asked what this thing is about the posters. Howard said she was in love with celebrities. Howard said she'd have parties at her house and have all of these famous people over. David said she was like the first super agent. Howard said she was very into these famous people.
Howard said he was reading about J-Lo and how she's already ending her third marriage. Howard said they were talking about an appearance she was making and how everyone back stage isn't allowed to look at her directly. Howard said that's how you know you're fucking insane. David said he has that. Howard said he must be fucking insane. Howard asked if he gets nervous doing the dancing. Davis said he does and that's why he's doing this whole thing.
Howard said Courteney is really hot. He said he was looking at her pictures. David said she's incredible. Howard wondered if she'd find him sexually satisfying. Howard said only if he was single of course. Robin said that she thinks that she was into Howard when they hung out. Howard said that David walked over and started cock blocking when he talked to Courteney. David said he had to put a stop to that. He said he felt it was a little out of line. Howard said it was but he's that kind of guy. Howard said there is no bro-code with him. He said he'll fuck his wife.
Howard asked David if he can stick it in her and get her off or do you have to lick her for a while. David said ''Oh my god...'' He wouldn't answer. Howard asked if he needs a lot of foreplay. David asked him to please not ask. Howard said he'd vibrate her. He said he'd probably be exhausted getting her wet so he'd use a vibrator on her. Robin said she's probably very sensual.
Howard said he could handle her. Howard said David might not be able to but he could. Howard said he'd fix her. He said whatever's broken in there he'll fix. Howard said he'd tell her to stop talking to her ex-husband. Fred played some oral sex audio where a woman is choking. Howard kept talking about what he'd do to Courteney.
David wanted to talk about Beth. Howard said she's an angel. David said maybe he could get Beth back stage. Then he said that he can't even play that game. He said he didn't want to be mean like that. Howard said he's not being mean, he's talking about love.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she's going to be voting for David tonight. She said that she thinks that he has to be himself and let the real David come out. Howard hung up on her.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if he needs to do this for the money. Howard said David is worth a lot. He said he doesn't need the money. David said he's fine financially. Howard asked if he has $10 million. David said he didn't want to go there. David said that he didn't want to talk about it. Howard said that's a yes. Howard said they pay these people $150,000 to do the show. Howard said if you get into the finals you get as much as $350,000. David said it's good to be on the show as long as you can. Howard said he was married to Courteney Cox too so he must get money from her.
David said that kind of stuff doesn't matter. Howard said he's sure that David has had his lawyers look into this for him. Howard said he'd clean her right out if he was him. Howard said he's a horrible man.
Howard said he has to talk to David off the air about his break up. He said he's got a number in mind for what he should see from her. Howard said he loves David and Courteney. He said he still doesn't think she should be there but that's just his opinion. David said that there is no reason for them to hold grudges. He said he likes having her there and he likes having family showing up for him. David asked him not to talk shit when he gets off the phone. Howard said he can appear desperate and that's all he said. Howard said he shouldn't want to appear to win too badly. David said that he just wants people to understand him. Howard said they get him. He said that no one is getting him on Dancing with the Stars. Robin said she can't get him from that show. David said she can. He said he wants to be able to do Broadway shows. Howard said that's great but he won't come to see him. He said he hates Broadway shows.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Courteney had breast implants or was she just photoshopped in some picture he saw. Howard said that she's so fit and thin that there's no way they could be that big without help. Howard said they're definitely implants but who gives a fuck. He said he loves that look.
Howard said he could talk all day about her tits. He asked how they look. David said that Courteney is beautiful. He said he loves this conversation too. Howard said that his sister has big tits too. He asked David what he knows about that. David just laughed. He said he loves talking about his sister's tits. He said that she's always been known for having larger tits. Howard said it would be great if he was in the audience playing with Courteney's tits while David is dancing. Howard asked if he would be jealous if he was doing that. David said he would be jealous. He asked Howard how he'd be if he saw him playing with Robin's tits. Howard said he'd be pissed.
Howard said he loves David and he is encouraging him to go out there and win. David said he's sorry he has to put out all of these tweets and things. Howard said it's fine.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard is not his friend and he's setting his ass up. He said he's trying to get him to say something that will get press. Howard said David is his friend and he's not setting him up. The caller said he wants to know these answers too but Howard is setting him up.
Another caller said he thinks that David isn't banging his partner is because she's banging Heinz Ward. Howard said he didn't know that. Howard asked if he's ever seen her titties. David said he has not.
Another caller said that he's going to get Courteney Cox money when he's divorced. He doesn't need this money. Howard said he doesn't need the money, he's just letting people get to know him.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if David ever hooked up with that Jessie J chick. David said she said some douchey things about him so he never did.
Howard told David that he's going to vote for him no matter what tonight. David said that he has to do a lot of dancing this week. Howard said that he should get on tonight and dedicate his dance to Colonel Gaddafi. David said that the best outfit would be a Gaddafi outfit with 8 really hot chicks around him. Howard said he did have all female bodyguards. Howard wished David luck and told him to give all his love to Courteney. Howard said he does love her and he has nothing against her. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Andrea, Miss Howard Stern, has been Miss Howard Stern for like 15 years now. He said they can't bring themselves to get a new one. Howard said she's there with her sister Brandy so they can model some bikinis for them.
Howard had Andrea and Brandy come in after that intro. Fred played Andrea's singing performance with a country singer. Howard said that Andrea's sister is very cute. Howard asked how old Andrea is. She said she's 28 now. Howard said she's been Miss Howard Stern for 10 years now. Andrea said she was very innocent back then. She said she's grown up with the show. Howard asked if it's been a curse or a blessing. She said it's been a blessing. Andrea said she didn't know there was a Miss Howard Stern contest. She said she just stuck with it and has stuck up for Howard over the years. She said that she takes it seriously and doesn't get paid to do it.
Howard asked Andrea if she remembers her life before being Miss Howard Stern. She said she does remember parts of it. Howard said in all this time she's acted superbly and she's done it without fail. He said the only time she wasn't able to do it was after her car accident. That's when Brandy stepped in. Brandy said she didn't know that she was filling in. She said she thought she was just calling in to give an update.
Andrea said she talks to her fans every day and she's always stuck with it. She said Brandy didn't do that. She said that when Howard was on E! her sister wouldn't let her go to sleep until Howard's show was over. Andrea said that Brandy put her troll dolls in the microwave too though.
Howard asked Brandy if that's true about his show. She said they would stay up and watch other stuff too. Andrea said that she used to go to school with Howard's name stenciled on her pants. Howard said Brandy did a great job raising Andrea. Howard said she raised her to be such a good Miss Howard Stern that they can't get rid of her. Andrea said she's a very honest person.
Howard asked Brandy about raising her sister. She said she didn't think that she did. She said Andrea just did her own thing. Howard asked Brandy if she ever got jealous that her sister won Miss Howard Stern and she didn't. Brandy said she can't imagine a better Miss Howard Stern.
Howard asked Brandy if she has a man. She said that she does have a boyfriend and she has a son too. Howard asked Andrea if she has anyone helping to pay for her stuff. She said she has a man she sees. Howard said he has in his notes that she has a boyfriend. She said that he's a producer for America's Funniest Videos. She said that he lives in Los Angeles though. She said he's treated her very well. Andrea said that they started talking on the internet for maybe a year before she even met him. Howard said he heard that he paid to have her belly button pierced again after another guy ripped it out.
Howard said he read that she has an 80 year old boyfriend too. Andrea said they date but he's not a boyfriend. She said his name is Howie. Andrea said he's really sick. She said that he's drinking too much and that's not good for him. Howard asked if she's blow an 80 year old. Andrea said that she doesn't even like kissing so she's not going to blow a guy for no reason. She said she's only blown a couple of guys and she has to be in love with them to do it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they've ever gone down on one guy at the same time. Andrea said no. Howard said that would be amazing. He said that Andrea's sister is a fantastic looking girl. Andrea said she's good at hiding things. She said that she can keep her mouth shut and who knows what she's up to.
Howard said the girls are beautiful. He said they're in bathing suits and he heard they have a friend who designs them. Andrea lost a lot of weight. She said she's been living on string cheese. Howard asked who is involved in this. Brandy said her friend Jean started her own swim wear company. She said they're trying to help to make it popular. Andrea said that all of the suits are very unique and she doesn't make them the same. Howard said he wouldn't make more than one of those suits either.
Howard said the girls were modeling suits by Brass Monkey Swimwear (BrassMonkeySwimwear.com). Howard had Jean come in so he could talk to her about her suits. Howard asked why she wasn't wearing one today. She said she has models for that. Howard asked how big her breasts were. She said they were a D but Robin said they had to be bigger than that. She said they had to be a G at least. Howard said they look like pontoons. Howard asked if she goes topless on the beach. She said she doesn't do that. She doesn't like going to populated beaches either.
Howard asked Andrea about her double vision and if she still has that. Andrea said that the doctor told her she'd have it the rest of her life. Howard said that Andrea's voice sounds more like a baby than her sister. Andrea said she thinks that her sister sounds more like a baby.
Howard asked Jean about the suits and how much they cost. She said they start at around $100. She said she custom makes them for each person.
Howard asked Jean if she's ever been with another woman. She said she went out and did something once. Howard asked if it was with her husband. She said this was before her husband. Jean said that she was about 18 at the time. Jean said she doesn't even really remember it all. She said it was just a kiss thing. Howard said he bets she remembers it.
Howard asked Andrea if she's been with girls. Andrea said she has. Howard asked if Brandy has. Brandy said she hasn't but Andrea said she's very secretive.
Howard said he hopes that Andrea reigns as Miss Howard Stern forever. Andrea said she'll hunt down and kill anyone who takes her crown. Howard said he knows that they can't let that go. He asked if they had anything else to promote. Andrea said that she had to plug SurfSplash.com. She said that some guy finally got her Honda back for her. Howard thanked the girls for coming in and said he's glad he got to thank Brandy for filling in for Andrea.
Andrea said she saw Artie on Letterman and she wrote him a note on Facebook about how he'll be fine. She said that Artie once asked if she was okay when she was going crazy once. She said that Artie will be fine. She said she loves him. She said we all go crazy. She said the world makes us crazy. Howard asked if she's on any medication. She said she is on a few things. She rattled off a list of about 8 things that she's on.
Howard asked Andrea if she's okay. Andrea said she's fine. She said that she's been told by her therapist that she's not bipolar but she's got a lot of anger and she's heartbroken. She said that she was told it takes a long time to get over that. Howard said it sounds like she's on an awful lot of drugs. He asked what some of them were. She started to go through them and Howard said that's a lot of medication. Howard asked if she's on birth control. She said she can't remember to take it. Howard gave them some more plugs and Andrea told him that she's always defending him. Howard said that she's Miss Howard Stern because she's like that. Andrea said that she's never changed even though a lot of people enter the business and change. Howard said he was reading about J-Lo making people turn their heads when they see her. Howard said Andrea has never done that. Andrea said that they need to shut up and stop saying that Howard is ripping people off.
Will came in and asked if Howard saw the tattoo on her butt. Andrea said she's had it for years. She said she used to have just lips but then she had it made into a butterfly. She said that she also added ''Beautifully Broken'' when her friend died. Howard said she's a very passionate woman and he appreciates that. Howard said it's always important to look your best. Jean said that Andrea was feeling bloated so she gave her a laxative. She thought that was the best way to get over that. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked what happened to these guys (Yes). Robin said she went and saw them in concert years ago. Howard said he wanted to know about what they're doing now. Robin said the lead singer has some health problem or something.
Howard said that people are acting like they don't understand why Steve Jobs waited 9 months to get help for his cancer. Robin said they found a shadow on his pancreas and he didn't do anything. Howard said they told him that they could take it out and he'd have a good chance of recovery. Howard said it usually takes your life, like 99 percent of the time. Howard said Steve wanted to treat it with natural stuff but by the time they got to the operation it had spread. Howard said people are shocked by that. He said the guy wanted time to research it and just try it. Robin said he had a fear of opening up his body.
Robin read about John Anderson of Yes and they say that he has some kind of illness and the band was looking for a replacement singer. She said that story was from some time ago though. Howard said that he thinks the guy is fine now but he's not sure.
Robin said it's getting dangerous to walk around and even speak to people now. She said she was leaving the building and ran into Kevin Sorbo who used to play Hercules. Gary had a story about him too. Howard said that Kevin must know on some level that things aren't exactly hot for him in Hollywood. Gary said there's a funny move that people like that have. He said 8:30 last Wednesday Kevin was there in the green room. He said he wanted to come in and just say hello to Howard on the air. Howard said people think they have nothing to do. Gary said he told Kevin that they had 3 guests that day and he had gotten yelled at already. He said Kevin is a nice guy but he had to turn him away.
Robin said that Kevin told her about having 3 strokes from a brain aneurysm. She said that he had a lot of things going on. Gary said he talked to him about that too. He said they were shooting his show for 1 hour a day so he could get through it. Howard said his mother would say that it was too much exertion. He did his impression of his mom for a minute.
Robin said she ran into Kevin later in the afternoon and she thought she recognized him. She said hi and she didn't know what had gone on there. Howard said he walks out of there and no one can even catch him. He said he sprints out of the building. Robin said she got the whole ''I wanted to come in today but Gary wouldn't let me...'' speech. Howard said that's the way it should be.
Gary said that he has to go to the Wrap Up Show after they turn down guests and he'll run behind them when they're not looking so they don't see him.
Howard said as long as they're talking about the Wrap Up Show he's got some clips. He said that Ronnie and Sal were going off on each other.
Howard played the clip from last Wednesday's Wrap Up Show where Sal and Ronnie were talking about each other's marriages and relationships and going off on one another.
Gary said Sal thought that Howard was wrong for not letting him sleep over at his apartment so he obviously doesn't get that he was wrong about asking. Howard played more of that clip where Sal and Ronnie were going back and forth.
Howard said Sal was really going in there with the marriage stuff. Howard said the guys on the Dan Patrick show were doing impressions of Ronnie. He said they were in a break during their show and they had the cameras rolling during the break. Howard played the clip and they were doing the ''dude'' thing and the ''T-O-P-L-E-S-S'' bit. Fred played the clips of Ronnie saying Dude TOPLESS.
Howard asked Siri if David Arquette would make it through another week and Siri asked him to get that giant nose and nostrils away from it. Howard asked about JD and Siri asked why he would search for him because he's so fat now that you can't miss him.
Howard asked Siri to look up some other people and it was saying that it would rather lick between the toes of Tim Sabean and things like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was reading about Scientologists going through the South Park creators trash and investigating John Stamos. Howard said he understands the South Park guys but not John Stamos. The caller said that he's not sure why. He said someone was talking about that. Howard wonders if Stamos knows about that. Howard said he shreds all of his stuff before he throws it out. Howard said he's gotten Beth to start doing that. Howard said she thinks that he's paranoid until she sees something happen. Then she'll tell him he was right.
Howard said that it's weird to see George Clooney with Stacy Kiebler. He said he moves these girls right in and makes it like a marriage. Howard talked about how that guy works these women and how great it seems to him. Gary said he has another dozen years before he's going to feel frail.
Robin read about how a ferry captain crashed his ferry while talking about Halle Berry. He had been up late the night before watching her as Cat Woman. Robin said that they killed the skipper of another ship because they weren't paying attention. Gary said that she was hot in Monster's Ball.
Gary said that the guy who brought up Stamos is kind of right. The Scientologists are going after Matt Stone and Trey Parker and they're targeting some of their friends and Stamos is apparently one of their friends.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he saw an article about Howard and Beth raising money for cancer research. He said it was a nice article. Howard said he's not raising money for Steve Jobs. Howard said Beth has a friend who makes jewelry and she has this tree shaped necklace and Beth came to him and asked if he would take a picture of her wearing it. Howard said some of the proceeds go to pancreatic cancer research. Howard said his friend Jack Stern died of pancreatic cancer so he said sure and he took the picture. He said that's all he did. The caller said the picture was stunning.
The caller asked if they could do a Teach the Tards kind of thing on the show and teach Wendy and Gary the Retards different things. Howard said he zoned out and couldn't stop thinking about Jack. He thanked him for the call.
Howard said Jack was a nice guy and he wasn't a douche bag. Howard said they used to hang out a lot. He said he'd invite Jack to hang out when they'd go out to different places.
Robin talked about Jack and how he was always worried about what she was doing. Howard and Robin talked about Steve Jobs interview on 60 Minutes and how he was talking about his 50/50 belief in god. Howard said he was thinking that when you die your Brian has an off switch and once you're done, you're done.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been watching Howard TV a lot and noticed that Lisa G has a really big thumb. Howard asked if it's really long. The caller, Shandor, said that's what it is. He also asked what happened to that woman who left him in her will. Howard said she's still alive. He said she just refuses to die. Shandor said he's thinking about leaving him everything of his too. Howard said that would be nice if every listener did that for them. Howard said that he had to take a break after that.
Howard said he was reading the National Enquirer and they got a hold of Rosie O'Donnell's girlfriend's dad. Howard said that the guy says that he never met Rosie and he's not sure why Rosie lied about meeting him. Howard said this guy sounds like a character. He said that he was bad mouthing Rosie and making fat jokes about her. Howard said people are whacked. He said it's crazy stuff. He said he felt bad for the daughter. Howard said he did get his picture in the Enquirer so that was good. It reminds people that they're still out there.
Howard read some details about how this relationship isn't going over well for this woman's family. Howard said that the father was saying that he had no desire to meet Rosie. Howard said she did meet the mother. Howard read some more quotes from this guy. He said that if the Enquirer knocks on your door it's probably best that you just not say anything. Howard said that they quoted some of Rosie's interview from the show in the article. The family claims that they just found out about their daughter being into girls when this story came out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was watching an old episode of ''To Catch a Predator'' and he was wondering how they would handle that if their son got caught as a child molester. Howard said he thinks that you just have your child locked up if you know what they do. Howard said you can't have a child molester in the family and not report them. Howard said he's not sure if he'd even have a son to a family event if he knew he was a child molester.
Robin said she grew up with her molester. It was her father. Howard said you can't get away from that. Howard said that's a different situation than what this caller is asking. Robin said that they had to let a guy go last week after they arrested him for having his pants down and porn on his phone. Howard said he doesn't know any guy without porn on his phone. Gary said he had his dick out though. Howard said that is different.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he feels so sorry for Beth and Howard. He said that people attack them and it's so off base. He asked how he brushes them off. Howard said he's human and he knew that when he got into this game that things would be said about him and his family. He said it hurts and it's tough. He said he's kind of able to put it off to the side but when it upsets Beth it hurts. He said that he wishes that he could protect her from that but he can't. Howard said Beth is very positive and gracious and he's madly in love with her. Howard said there are a lot of people out there who are jealous of him and success in general. Howard said when you read something like that then you find out they're incredibly jealous.
The caller was so nice that Howard gave him a $500 prize courtesy of FreshBooks.com. Howard said they ran out of time to play a game so he was just going to give him the money. The caller thanked him for that and said Howard has inspired him to pay his bills on time and organize his life. He said he used to let his insurance run out and things like that. He said Howard is a great example. Howard said that he never lived above his means. He said when he made $96 a week or $250 a week he never worked up a credit card bill or anything like that.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if Robin ever goes out to the bars and clubs in New York. Robin said she doesn't do it on a regular basis. Howard said she goes out with a pack of gals. Robin said she hasn't done that in a long time. She said she thought that her answer was the right one. The caller said he's seen Robin over the years and as she's gotten older she's gotten better looking. He didn't like her hair really short. Howard said he liked that hair style. The caller said that she's 56 but she's more attractive. Robin said that she's actually older than that.
Howard said Robin looks like she's in her 30s and she's very lucky. Howard said every guy should recognize that. Howard said she's friendly and she dances with guys at clubs but she's embarrassed by that. Fred played her saying ''I need a cock!'' and Howard said there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
Howard said he saw a parking lot attendant come on to Robin as they were walking down the street. Howard said that this guy didn't know if he was her boyfriend or anything. He just came on to her.
The caller asked Robin about who she's involved with now. Robin isn't involved with anyone. Howard asked if she's ever been hit on by a stranger and it led to something. Robin said there was that guy in San Francisco. The caller asked if that's the guy she did anal with. Robin said it was that guy but she didn't want to say that. Robin said they just hit it off.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Beth is one of the most beautiful women in the world. He said she's a straight up sledgehammer. Howard said he agrees. Howard said he gets offended when people say thing about her but he has to deal with it. He said their opinion doesn't influence him though. He said they're just jealous.
Another caller said that he had an uncle who blew a load in his pants just talking about his Aunts. He said he stretched out a bit and laid down and blew his load. The guy said he didn't know what to do because he was a little kid. Howard said he's not sure what a kid should do. Maybe run to his closet and hide.
Robin got to her news and read about a new thing that would make people wait a full year before being granted a divorce. Howard said he thinks that they have something like that in New York. He said he was legally separated for a while. He doesn't remember exactly. Robin said they say that divorces are more preventable than they thought. Robin said they say that 40 percent are open to reconciliation. Howard said he hates when people get divorced. He said it really others him. Howard said it upsets him. He said he knows he's divorced. Robin said it was very tough on her too. Howard asked Robin what she was upset about. Robin said she was very sad and devastated by the whole thing.
Robin brought up Lindsay Lohan and said that they need to get her declared insane. Robin said they told her she had to do community service and she didn't go so she had to go back to court. Robin said they can't put her in jail because they have so much over crowding. Robin said she's not sure if it's mental or drug abuse but it's scaring her. Howard said she had clown make up on her face in court. Howard said he has nothing against clowns. He said he actually does but he heard that she has no clue why she's in trouble. He said that she thinks that they're just out to get her. Robin said that Lindsay was assigned to a morgue and she showed up late. Robin said she showed up 90 minutes early the second day. Robin said she can't get anything right. Robin said her lawyer said she's unemployable in the United States so she has to go to Europe to work and she's responsible for supporting her entire family. the whole family lives off of her. Howard said she's ill. He said she can't get it together.
Howard took a call from a guy who just got married and his sex life has dropped off to nothing. He said his wife thinks there is nothing wrong. He said they did have sex on the wedding night but it's been nothing since then. He said it's like walking on egg shells. Howard asked if he has said that he wants to have sex and he's turned on. The caller said he has done that and she's always tired. He said that it's just not happening. Howard asked what she does when he wakes up on the weekends. He said she wants to get breakfast first.
Howard said he has some advice for this guy. He said sometimes when a woman gets married they're afraid they're going to lose themselves and the guy only wants them as a sex object. Howard said this guy is thinking that something is wrong and he hears him. Howard said he's going to tell him to be super patient. He said he should wait two more weeks and see how things go. He said that maybe there will be a turn around there. He said there is a power struggle going on there. He said she might be getting a vibe that all he thinks about is sex. Robin said maybe they need to learn how to talk and they need therapy. Howard said he should just wait a couple of weeks. The caller said it used to be everything goes and now it's nothing.
Howard said that if she sees a guy who isn't pushy then maybe that will turn her on. Howard told the guy to just jerk off for now and give it more time. Howard said maybe it'll come around. The caller thanked him but Howard said that guy has no idea that he has no clue what he's talking about. He did a live commercial after that. Howard took another call from a guy who thinks that the previous caller's wife is cheating on him. Howard said they don't know that. They went to commercial break a short time later.
After the break, around 9:50am, Robin read a story about how Madonna's brother is living under a bridge in Michigan. Howard said he read that and it ticked him off that the brother thinks that she should be supporting him. Howard said he read another article where he said he wasn't looking for money from his sister. He said that he's not looking for handouts so he's not sure what to think of that situation. Howard said we don't know the whole story.
Robin read about Lindsay Lohan reporting that Dina Lohan is shopping a book about her daughter. Howard said that's real nice.
Robin had some American Idol and X-Factor news so Howard talked about that for a few minutes. They went over who they think can win on that show. Howard said a lot of these people want shortcuts in life and that just doesn't happen. Howard said that this Susan Boyle is horrible. He said she sang on Dancing with the Stars and it was awful. He said it was kind of a novelty. He said she looks like a man with a wig on. He said it was exciting that first time she sang on stage but it's just a novelty. Howard said she's got another record coming out but it's just over. He said she's a freak show. Robin said she performed Unchained Melody on Dancing With the Stars. Howard said he used to love that song. He told JD to get in there with the song. JD came in a short time later. Howard told them to get him a double order of French Fries today. Howard played the song and said it's soulless. He said she should be sitting in a rocking chair. Howard said no one is buying this. Robin said she usually sings show tunes. That got Howard to sing some show tunes that he was making up as he went along. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about a study that was done in Denmark that found that cell phones don't cause cancer. Howard said he read that and started making more calls. Howard said he uses a headset and when he calls his mother she can't hear him and complains. Robin said they followed people who had cell phones between 1987 and 2005 and found they didn't have a higher rate of cancer. Howard said he still has hard wired phones in his house. He said they sound better than wireless. He said he only uses a cell phone if it's an emergency. He said his kids sleep with the damn cell phone next to their heads. He said he doesn't understand why you would tempt fate. Howard said he won't even stand near a microwave. He said it can't be healthy.
Robin read about Gaddafi's death and what's going on over in Libya after that. Howard said he finds it wild how many spellings there are for his last name.
Robin read about Turkey getting hit with an earthquake. Robin said that the death toll is very high over there and they say that the quake was a magnitude 7.0 with a lot of after shocks. Howard did another live commercial after that.
Robin read about how President Obama has said they're going to have all of the troops pulled out of Iraq by the end of the year. Robin said they're having trouble coming to a decision on when to get them out so we're just going to pull out this year. Howard said he was shocked. He said it makes total sense though.
Robin said that some people think that it's going to be easy for Iran to come in and influence the government there. Robin said we do care what happens over there after we leave. Robin said that Hillary Clinton was talking about that and she had some audio. Howard read another live commercial after that.
Robin had some audio of Rick Santorum talking about some stuff at a debate. Robin had some audio of Ron Paul quoting from the bible. She had some audio of Herman Cain, Rick Perry and others as well.
Howard mentioned that Pat Monahan of Train just had a son. Howard said that his name is Rock Richard Monahan. Howard said he was born one ounce under 10 pounds 4 weeks early. Robin sounded shocked by that. Howard said she passed that thing through the ''vaheena.'' He said they'll have to talk to Pat about that next time he comes in.
Robin read about Gabrielle Giffords going in for some treatment and she's making a miraculous recovery. Howard said she'll never be the same but nothing will ever happen to that guy who shot her.
Robin had some audio of a race car driver who is refusing to say goodbye to Dan Wheldon who died last week. Robin had a couple of people talking about his death. Howard said they could stop this needless death if they just stopped that nonsense of racing. Howard said you have a good chance of ending up dead driving at 250 miles per hour. Howard said they should start televising Russian Roulette. He said they put one bullet in the chamber and point the gun at their own head. Howard said someone is going to die. He said that's what this racing cars is like.
Robin read about Nicole Scherzinger from X-Factor breaking up with her boyfriend of 4 years. He was a race car driver. Robin had some of Nicole's music that she had Howard play. Howard said she is gorgeous but she has no business judging anyone on their music. Howard said she really is hot. He said he sees her on that show and he wants to fuck her. Howard said they say she makes millions from that music but he doesn't get it. He said she used to be in that Pussycat Dolls group but he doesn't understand that either.
Robin read about the World Series being tied up at 2 and 2. Robin said game 5 is going to be in Texas tonight. Robin said that today is the day that Netflix will report how many subscribers it lost since announcing its new rates. Howard said they lost him the other day. He said he got billed even though he canceled. He said that he must have missed the billing by 2 days. Howard said the NY Times gave the guy who runs the company a grilling.
Robin read about this guy Rupert who was on Survivor and he's going to run for governor. Robin said he thinks that he can handle the state government after being on Survivor. Howard said he can't imagine voting for anyone who was on a reality show. He said maybe Jeff Probst but not a contestant.
Robin read about Paranormal Activity 3 being number one at the box office this weekend. Robin said that they say it was a record opening for the movie. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:25am.
Gary said that Robert Wuhl once cornered him and had to have a talk with him. He said Jeffrey Tambour did the same thing to him. He said he wanted to get on the show and couldn't get on. He said that he's the ''Hey Now'' guy and he still can't get on the show.
Gary said that he's never going to tell someone that they're not good enough to be on the show again. He said you never know when you might want them on. Gary said a friend told him that he should be able to tell them the truth though. He said that they're making you say things you don't want to say. Gary said he feels bad doing that.
Jon said that Robert Wuhl has been in the business for a long time and when is it that they're going to get the clue that they're not going to be on. Gary said that there are people who ask if they can come back and Howard will say sure. He said Howard makes people feel like they've bonded with him on more than a host level. Jon said that's exactly how you feel. He said that you forget that everyone is just doing their job.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Howard has let things go. He said that the guy he gave advice to today he would have done differently 10 years ago. Gary said Howard has definitely changed and he's in a relationship with someone he feels for and he was just being very honest with the guy. Jon said he thinks that Howard is in a great place with Beth and he looks at his relationship with Beth in a different way. Gary said if it was the late 80s, early 90s, Howard might have told the guy to get rid of the wife.
The caller said that he was wondering about this Little Lupe story that the news department never followed up on. He also wondered why they still use her clips. Gary said he doesn't know much about it but they didn't squash the story. He said they still use her clips because they're funny. He said she's still in their good graces as far as he's concerned.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Lupe was exonerated from those charges. Jon Leiberman came in and said that they're reporting today that they confirmed with immigration and customs that she was arrested in April for overstaying her visa. He said that she was here illegally and as of Friday the people at ICE said that she's awaiting deportation. Gary said he loves that there are millions of illegals in this country and she's the one they're going after.
Jon had some more information about the Lupe story and there have been a few things going on with her. Gary said he thought she was married to an American. Jon said that she is married to him but the immigration issues predate that. He said that's the crux of the issue there.
Gary said that they are totally a couple. Jon said that it's more of an issue than that. He said that Columbia wants her back to charge her with some stuff. Jon said they're taking this very seriously. They spent a couple more minutes on that and then went to break.
Jon said that Andrea and Brandy were in but then Jean came in and she was very noticeable. Gary said that JD told Howard that she had huge tits during the break. Gary said Will told him that it might be good if he had her in the studio.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard was talking about J-Lo and calling her insane for not wanting people to look at her or speak to her on her show. He said that's basically what Howard does when he has the hallways cleared. Gary said there is a difference. He said Howard wants to go rest after the show. He said Howard doesn't have people surrounding him out in the lobby telling them not to look at him. The caller said he doesn't see the difference. The caller said he knows Howard has the hallways cleared there. Gary said he wants it clear so he can get to his office and not talk to anyone. Gary said that Howard wants to go meditate. He said that it's fair game out in the other parts of the building. Jon said that they don't tell people to avert their eyes.
The caller said that it sounds the same to him. He said it might be different working there. Gary said he grew up in this insanity so it's normal to him. The caller asked if they would ever get Artie back on the show. Gary said Howard doesn't think he's ready so he probably won't be on.
The caller asked Gary if he feels that he has the same role as the ''Artie'' role on the Larry Sanders show. Gary said it's kind of the same but most of the important decisions are made by Howard. He said that he might make suggestions but Howard will always win.
Another caller said that Howard was saying that Beth was the love of his life and he doesn't get how his ex-wife wasn't that anymore. Gary said they were in love at one time but that doesn't mean that Beth can't be the love of his life now. The caller said if Howard really thought about it he might think that it was Alison who loved him when he was nothing.
The caller brought up Artie and Howard has said that he was going to let him on the show but now he's put the kibosh on it. Gary said Howard has talked about it several times. He said when Artie wanted to come on he was still in treatment and this might not be the best place for him to be. Jon said that's what Howard was saying last week about Artie. Gary said Letterman had Artie on but they didn't have the same kind of relationship.
Another caller said he was up there a couple of years ago and Ronnie closed the door on them when Howard walked by. Gary said Howard doesn't mind people seeing him but he doesn't want to have people asking to take pictures. He's just wanting to get to his office to decompress. Gary said anyone who finishes the show doesn't want to see anyone. The caller also asked Gary about Howard getting annoyed with Robin cutting into his conversation. Benjy said it was during the Occupy Wall Street discussion. He thought he did sound a little irritated.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked if Jon and Gary are still in love with each other. He said it sounds like they're not. Gary said they just spoke over the weekend. He asked the caller what he thinks he's hearing. The caller said that he hears a little animosity in Jon's voice. Gary said he's not sure what he's referring to. They went to break a short time later.
Jason said that he wants people to see he's not so goofy but he wears those outfits on Dancing with the Stars. Jason said he thinks that he's doing this to get over the bad press he got from their show. He said he's trying to win the women back.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he understands Howard's problem with Courteney being there but he thinks that it's helping David attract more votes. Gary said he agrees because she's there to support him. The caller said he thinks that it's a good idea for her to be there but he also understands why Howard thinks she shouldn't be there. Gary said there's talk about how ABC wants her there because she has an ABC show. Jason said he thinks that might make things smoother for them to get her on.
Jon said when Howard was doing his rap about everything David was disagreeing with everything. Jason said that David was saying that he doesn't have a problem with it so Howard shouldn't have a problem with it.
Jason said it is weird to have your ex-wife there but he can see why the network would want her there. Benjy said that he understands that they have a good relationship and they have no problem being there for each other. Gary said that Howard and Jason just can't believe that people getting a divorce still like each other. Jason said that's great if they do get along but he also gets why it's weird.
Benjy said that Jason seems annoyed by it. Jason said it is kind of annoying. He said if it was the other way around then he wouldn't be bothered by it. He said for some reason this bothers him. Gary said if they didn't have a kid together and she showed up, that would be really weird.
Jon said that they talked about the game show deal and how Howard wasn't even asked to do it. Jon said that Howard has been looking for a game show for years. They didn't even ask him to do it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he gives David credit for Dancing with the Stars and he doesn't care if his wife shows up. Gary said he and Jon agree. It's just Jason and Howard who don't.
The caller also asked if Howard really doesn't know who Nancy Grace is. Gary said he thinks that he knew that she was one of those talking heads but didn't know her very well. He said he confuses her and Greta Van Susteren all the time.
Benjy asked if they think Howard will vote for Arquette or that guy J.R. Gary said he thinks that Howard would support David because he comes on the show. Gary said that all J.R. did was defend this country. Gary said that was just a joke for those people who were ready to write angry letters.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they think David would thank Howard if he won this show. Gary said he thinks that David is the one guy who definitely would thank them.
Another caller said they had that chick on last week who wrote the book with Alexis Stewart and she was on the Today Show with Alexis. He said it was visibly uncomfortable with the two of them sitting on the couch. He said that the vibe Alexis put out was really wild. Gary said Howard may play the clips tomorrow. He said that Jennifer Hutt had texted them about what was going on and she didn't want to get into it too much with Alexis. He said the book publisher didn't want the two of them to come in together. He said that's obviously a book publisher that doesn't want to sell books.
Gary and Jon said that the video is pretty wild because Alexis won't even look at Jennifer. Jon said that it was very strange and awkward. Jason said the interviewer is Samantha Guthrie and she's super hot. He talked about her for a minute and then they had to end the show around 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about how busy he was yesterday. He said he was running around and watching TV. He said he watched Boardwalk Empire and some Fringe. He said he's caught up to this season and he's trying to get to the latest episode. Robin said she's trying to get through the first season. Howard said the second season gets better. He said he's trying to get through the first season of The Walking Dead too.
Howard said he watched Dancing with the Stars last night to see what's going on. He fell asleep. Robin said she voted 6 times. She did 3 for Howard. Howard said she's a good person. Howard said it's funny because he has a way of watching the show. He said he taped it and it was about a half hour delayed. He fast forwarded through the Kardashian brother. He said he didn't know there was a brother. He said he seems kind of arrogant for a guy on a reality show. Howard said he kind of resents people like that. He said they did nothing and their bad behavior is rewarded. He said everyone has their place in show business he guesses.
Robin said she saw something on Beverly Hills Housewives. Howard said Camille used to be great on that show but someone got a hold of her and now she's boring. He said she keeps her mouth shut and she should be there to make good TV. He said she should have jumped in on the fight that was going on. He said he hates the woman who looks like Demi Moore on that show. He said she's a fucking cunt.
Howard said he fast forwards through Dancing with the Stars because he can't stand Nancy Grace or the Kardashian kid. He said he likes the back stage stuff. Robin can't stand that. Howard said he likes seeing people dancing in their regular clothes. Howard said he goes to the scores to keep abreast of what's going on.
Howard said he watched last week's show to see Kelly Clarkson and he wanted to see her sing. He said they have people dancing through her song though. Robin said watching her sing is the reason that they have to cancel American Idol. She said that no one like that has been found since the first season.
Howard said Chaz is the worst dancer on that show but no one wants to get rid of him. Howard said he loves that guy. Howard said they say some of the transsexuals die from the hormones they take. Robin said he hasn't lost a pound on the show either. Robin said he can't even move. Howard said he sweats like a dude. Howard said that's kind of fun. He said he's got some bad tattoos too.
Howard had Rob show him his arm. He said it didn't look like Orson Wells. It turns out it was a Hirshfeld that he had signed. Rob also has ''Morality'' in Gaelic on his arm. He said he went through some hard times when his brother, mother and father died so that was keeping him grounded. Rob said that he had a bunch of deaths happen in a year and a half.
Howard asked about his dad and what happened there. He got dementia and died at 65. He said his mother died and his brother died in a motorcycle accident. Howard said anyone who rides a motorcycle is crazy.
Gary said they were talking to him the other day and he has this giant tattoo on him and it's Battleship Potemkin. Howard said that's a movie that they make you watch in school because it's like one of the first movies ever made. Howard said it's awful. He said it's the worst. Howard asked why he likes that. Rob said he liked the way it was stylized. Howard said Transformers 3 is stylized too.
Howard asked Rob about another tattoo that was Charlie Chaplain. Howard said Rob is fucked up. Rob thanked him. Howard said he can't stop staring at his arm. He said he was doing that interview and saw the tattoos and couldn't look away.
Howard said he has a couple of tattoos and he has a B for Beth on his finger. He said he has some other stuff on him. He said the first time he got one he got the sign for Capricorn even though he doesn't believe in astrology. He said he doesn't have any passion for his birthday or birth sign. He got the Capricorn symbol on his arm and he did something stupid. He said he got it in brown because he wasn't really committed to it. Howard said the color was hideous. He said he went back and asked the guy to cover it up. He said he asked the artist to do something so he had it turned into a dragon even though he doesn't give a shit about dragons. He said he doesn't like dragons at all. He said she was able to turn it into a dragon but now it's half his birth sign and half a dragon and he doesn't care about either one of those things.
Howard said he went to one guy who had an Ohm symbol on his finger. He asked for the guy to give him one of those and he didn't care about that either. Howard said he has the Ohm symbol on his pinkie and people ask what it is and he just mumbles it to them.
Robin said she has some tattoos but she just looks at something that looks nice and asks them to put it on her. Howard said he could put his kids name on him or maybe ''Hey Now!'' He said he thought about putting his dog's name on there. He said maybe she should be dead before he does that. Howard said he's run out of ideas.
Howard said he saw something on the back of someone's neck and he kind of likes pain. He said that pain had to be intense so he wanted to get one on his neck. Howard said he asked what he could put on there and he saw this Gaelic symbol. He said he doesn't remember what it is because he hasn't seen it in so long. He said he just told the guy to slap it on him. He said his whole head was vibrating while he had that one done. He said he never sees it. Howard said Beth sees it and some chicks who he banged may have seen it. He said his hair dresser has seen it too.
Howard said he sees a guy like Rob and he's way into the tattoos. Robin asked what he's doing next. He said the Metropolis robot is going on next. Howard asked if he's doing anything contemporary. He said he might do something from Kubrick's The Killing. Howard said he should do some Spider-Man or something like that. Gary suggested something from Private Parts.
Howard said Richie has a lot of stuff on him and he doesn't think he even knows what's on his arm. Gary said he heard Richie is getting something lasered off. Howard said you should see his arm. Richie came in and said that he has one on the back of his neck and he's getting that taken off. He said it was the most painful thing. He said he has the year of the dog on his neck and it's just stupid. He said he likes all of the other stupid stuff on his arm. He said it's all 1950s pin-up girls and stuff like that. Howard said Rob must like that. Richie said they can bond in their stupidity. Howard asked if he has Bette Paige on his arm. Richie said he kind of does.
Howard said Richie looks like a sailor. Richie said the thing on his neck is Chinese and it's stupid. He said the laser burns so he knows it's going to hurt. He said he likes the feeling of the tattoo but the laser is painful.
Howard asked if Richie's family thinks he's nuts. Richie said they don't seem to. He said the body is a temple so he's painting the walls. Howard asked if he thinks that Rob's tattoos are weird. Richie said they're different. He said it's original so that's what he likes.
Howard said he saw this guy Lee from Howard TV walking around too. He said he had numbers on his arm like he was in a concentration camp. Howard asked Gary what's up with that. Gary said it's deceased relatives. He said he and Jason were the same way thinking he was too young for the holocaust.
Gary said that Steve Brandano sketched another guy a pepper shaker for his arm and that's because his dog died. Howard said he should be fired.
Howard said he has to do some photography and he's going to take some shots of Rob. He said Richie would be a good subject too.
Gary told Howard that when Rob is done he goes down to Occupy Wall Street. Howard said he heard he's kind of a communist. Rob said he wouldn't say that. He said he's not into the all of the money stuff. Howard said when he worked at WRNW he wasn't into money either. Robin said it's a bad system when people have to fight and kill each other to eat. Howard said Robin seems to be behind that too. He said he has some email about that.
Howard read some email about Robin being on fire about the Occupy Wall Street. Howard read about how out of touch she is with current events. Howard said he had plenty about himself in there too. Howard tried to find more Robin stuff but he wasn't able to find what he was looking for.
Howard said he heard that DePace doesn't trust Rob because he's a communist. Rob said they don't argue or anything. Howard asked if he wants to get rid of money and trade for goods. Rob said they'd have to come up with a system but he's not smart enough for that.
Howard said he thinks he should be able to sit at home and have people pay him. Robin said that Steve Jobs still would have wanted to create even without the money. Howard told her to just think about the sanitation workers and how they'd like to pick up your trash for no pay. Robin said there are animals that pick up coconuts in Thailand. She said there's always someone who wants to do something. Howard said he's going to go down to OWS and force some of them to work while the rest of them don't.
Howard told Rob he digs his arms. Howard said he was so busy staring at his arms yesterday. He let Rob go after that. Howard said he's part time communist and part time ''weird tattoo guy.'' Howard said the tattoos look really odd. He said they're kind of faded and they look like Wendy the Retard drew something on him with a Crayon.
Howard said you'd think Fred would be into stuff like that. Fred said he has one and that was enough. Howard said that he's always too busy for getting more tattoos. He said they need to double Richie Wilson's hours so he doesn't have free time to get more. Howard said he's busy with that Kung Fu too.
Howard said that Maria and her boyfriend are a nice couple. He said that you get sidetracked and jumped there in the halls. Robin asked if Maria was complaining that she didn't get on the show. Howard said she didn't say anything to him. He said she did call Gary and ask him though. Howard said you have to pace yourself. She was just on not too long ago. Howard said that Maria is really hot though.
Howard said he's got a kid who is really talented. He said he's going to mentor this kid. Howard said his kid is like 12 or something. He said the kid is a little kid. Gary said he's actually 10. Howard said this is all about young kids. Howard said Ellen Degeneres has started a record label and she's getting really young kids. Howard said Gary's kid is 16 and Benjy's is 14. Howard said they were going to be part of the vote but that would be lame. He said they can't vote on their own people. Howard said people would be saying that people would be sucking his balls of his kid won.
Howard took a call from a guy, Tommy, who apologized for irritating him yesterday. Tommy said that he brought up the ''Quit frankly'' thing and it irritated him. Howard said he's not going to go to school to eliminate that from his vocabulary. Tommy said he voted 12 times for David Arquette yesterday.
Howard said Benjy got his ass kicked on CNN yesterday. Howard said Benjy was walking down the street and CNN was doing a live report about Steve Jobs. Benjy said he was with a chick, Elisa Jordana, who will be on the show in a couple of weeks. Benjy said that she's incredible. Howard said he doesn't remember having a conversation about this. Benjy said they talked about it in a meeting. Howard asked how he brought her up. Benjy said he approved her as a guest. She sings and she loves him. He said she's a-sexual according to Benjy. He said she's super hot and her music is incredible.
Gary said that this girl sounds good but she sounds like a lot of other people. He said that Benjy was playing the music for him and saying it was the greatest ever. Gary said that he didn't see it and Benjy found it hard to believe. Benjy said she's going to be huge. He said she was with him yesterday. He said he made a vow to stop doing the interrupting of live news coverage. He said he wanted to impress this girl so he did it.
Howard said Benjy jumped in on the broadcast. He asked if the girl thought it was great. Benjy said they were about to go work out. Howard asked if he's working out. Benjy said now he does. He saw the live light come on the camera so he decided to go for it. Howard said Benjy got grabbed and pulled off camera. Benjy said the guy grabbed him by the neck and he's pissed about that.
Howard played the clip of Benjy getting on camera. He interrupted the live report a few seconds into it. He was yelling about supporting David Arquette and not Nancy Grace and then the guy grabs him and Benjy yells ''What are you doing mother fucker?'' Howard said it's wild to see it live. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel played it on his show last night. Howard said he was upset that he didn't mention him. Benjy said he'll do that today if he wants. Howard said it's okay, he doesn't have to do that.
Howard played the Jimmy Kimmel clip where Jimmy played the audio of Benjy's on-air attack. Jimmy was talking about voting for David and then played the clip from CNN. They had to bleep the F-word in their replay though.
Howard said this is only going to encourage Benjy. Benjy said that it did impress that girl. He said she was checking Twitter and stuff after he did it. Robin asked how he found out that she was a-sexual. Howard said she's just telling Benjy that because she's not attracted to him. Benjy said they've gotten really close and they talk. Howard said Benjy thinks he has a good rap and he can get into a girl's pants. Benjy said he's very patient. He said if it takes 60 years he's fine with that. Howard asked if he would give up other women for her. Benjy said he would. He said he's felt that way about other women too.
Benjy said she didn't call herself a-sexual. He said that she just said that she doesn't enjoy sex. Howard said Benjy thinks he can convert her. Benjy said that she'll be with a guy but she never really enjoys it. Howard said he knows some chicks like that. Benjy said there is a small percentage of people like that out there. Benjy also said that she's told him that she's not attracted to him. Howard got a laugh out of that and said it sounds like she's got her head screwed on straight. Benjy said that she's hilarious and Howard is going to be blown away by her.
Howard said it sounds like Benjy is in love. Benjy said she's one of the most talented people that he's ever met. Howard asked if he's jerked off to her. Benjy said he may have slightly. Howard didn't understand what that meant. Howard said he thinks that it's just Benjy that she's not into.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if David has any chance of winning against that vet guy. Howard said no way. He took another call from one of Benjy's friends, Maryann, who said that she was out with Elisa the other day and she loves Benjy in a friend kind of way. Maryann said she loves him the same way. Howard asked if they ever did anything together. Maryann said that they may have touched tongues or something. She said that she showed him her boobs once over Skype but that was it. Howard said this is another Maryann.
Benjy asked if there's something spectacular about Elisa. Howard said he's just in love with her. Howard said it's going to be tough for Benjy when he sees her with a guy that she can orgasm with.
Howard saw a picture of this girl and he said she is hot. He said there's no way she's a-sexual either. Benjy said he believes that she's not into him in that way but he thinks there is something with the sexual issue.
Howard asked Maryann if she had that excuse with Benjy too. Maryann said she kept telling him that she wasn't into him in that way. She said the a-sexual thing is a great excuse. Benjy said he once saw her making out with Booker at a party and it crushed him. Maryann said that Booker followed her into the bathroom and said ''meow'' and got to make out with her. Howard said Benjy put in years of work with her and all Booker had to do was say ''Meow.'' She said that it was just a make out thing though. She didn't do anything else. She had to chase Benjy down the street as he was yelling ''Nooo!''
Benjy said that this girl is going to be a huge star. He said he's not just into her because she's talking to him. Maryann said that Benjy gets obsessed with people though. Maryann said Benjy got her on the show. Howard said he thinks that Susan Boyle is more Benjy's speed. He said they kind of look alike too. He said if they put a wig on Benjy they'd look alike.
Howard asked Benjy how he met the kid he has coming in. Benjy said that it's the son of his dermatologist. Gary said the kid he has coming in was a kid he saw perform. He said the kid is 16 now. He said he's doing good after he helped him out with some stuff. Howard said he saw this kid he has coming in on YouTube. Howard said the kid is already performing at clubs and stuff. He said he looks like a rock and roll kid. Benjy said his kid has a good look too.
Gary said his kid writes and produces his own stuff. Benjy said his kid does too. Gary said his kid won a national song writing contest. Howard said he got him on that. Benjy said that his kid created a whole new genre of music. Howard said his kid taught Eddie Van Halen how to play guitar. Gary said that kid looks like a young Eddie Van Halen. Howard said his kid can bench press 250 and he's only 10. Howard said he had to take a break. Gary said their next guest was there. Howard said the black woman who worked with Imus is there and he can't wait to talk to her. Howard said everyone who works with that guy despises him. Howard said the people that work with him he doesn't really treat shitty so he thinks they like him. He said Imus is just a cunt. He really is. Howard said they'll get into that when they get back.
Howard came back and had Jon Leiberman come in whit his news preview. Jon came in and said they have breaking news about the big ball guy who was in recently. He's been offered his own reality show. Howard said he wanted to do that with Howard TV. He said they didn't jump on it. Robin said they'd need money to do that. Jon said he hasn't gotten the medical attention he needs. Howard said that it's such a case that the doctors need money.
Jon said that Eric the Midget says that he's really done with the show for good. He said that he told Shuli he's done for the last time. Howard said Eric has been trying to get on the air for the last 3 days and he hasn't had time to put him on. Howard said Eric wanted him to manage him instead of Johnny Fratto. Howard said he can't always get to the guy. He's a caller. Jon said that Eric claims he sat on hold for nearly a monthly. Howard said he likes Eric but he has to give him a break. He said he can't put him on all the time. Jon said that Eric says that Howard and Johnny are very self centered.
Jon said that Big Foot allegedly walked up to some cops and told them to go fuck themselves. He's upset with them for not helping him out. Jon said that he's also befriended a war vet who is helping him get acid reflux medication without a prescription.
Jon said that JD has unfollowed BiBi Jones on Twitter. Jon said that JD said that they exchanged numbers but he never heard from her. He was waiting for her to call him. Howard and Fred did their impressions of JD for a few seconds. Jon said that BiBi has said she's been too busy at home in Phoenix to contact JD.
Jon said they also have a story about Orly the matchmaker who was hired by Gayle King to find a mate. She's suing Gayle King over that because they had an oral agreement and Gayle never paid her.
Howard said Imus somehow got to go to work at WABC and he claimed to be more ethnically aware and had two black people on his staff. Karith said they had a sports guy on the show for about a week. She said his name was Tony. Howard said it appeared there was going to be racial diversity on the show.
Karith said she was approached in September 2007 and she was offered the gig on the show. She said that it would be with Imus and she went ''Oh...'' Karith said she met with Imus and they discussed the incident. She said that she didn't think he did it with malicious intent. She said that he's just and older guy who was trying to make a joke. Karith said she found out that Imus seems to hate everyone. She said that it started out great working on the show. Howard asked if he pulled her aside and told her why he was hiring her. Karith said he didn't tell her anything like that. She said they were trying to diversify the show.
Karith said that she's black, she's smart and she can be funny. She said she had boobs and it was great and worked out for everyone. She said she was told to just be herself and be fabulous. Then about a year into it things kind of changed. She said the more people said the show was the best it had ever been the more jealous he seemed to get. Howard said people tell him that his show is better and he has to hold on to someone no matter what.
Karith said that she was being used but she was also using them to further her career. Howard asked if she wondered why people bashed Imus. Karith said about 6 weeks into the show there was an incident there and the guy was almost brought to tears. Howard asked what he did. Karith said that's the thing, you never really know. She said you can look the wrong way or say the wrong thing and it just goes wrong. Karith said that Imus isn't evil in her eyes. Howard said he thinks he is evil. He said he's never met a more evil person.
Karith said that Imus has stopped drinking and he doesn't do drugs. She said he's a dry drunk and never had the recovery that some people do. She said he has mood swings and spasms and she's never been around that before. She said she's never been around an abusive relationship before either. She said it was very toxic.
Howard asked what happened after that year. Karith said she was asked to do voices and stuff and she doesn't do that kind of thing. She said she was getting yelled at for not making fun of Oprah and things like that. Howard asked if he was thinking that she could make fun of black people because Imus couldn't. She said that's the way it looked to her. Howard said that Imus thought the only reason he had Robin on the show was because she was black and it made it okay for him to make fun of black people.
Karith said that she was told on a couple of occasions that she had to make more fun of black people. She said she went into a serious depression and she gained weight and things like that. She said that she tried to do what they wanted but it didn't work for her. Karith said she wishes there were more black celebrities out there to make fun of. She said she doesn't do voices either. She said that was something they wanted her to do and she couldn't do it. Howard and the guys did some of the voices Imus probably wanted her to do.
Howard asked if she ever went to the cancer ranch. Karith said she did. She said that she was afraid that Imus was going to shoot her at the ranch. Howard got a laugh out of that. Karith said the ranch is a wonderful place. She said that his wife is the heart and soul of that place. Howard said the listeners bankroll that whole thing.
Howard said he wonders how Imus gets rid of the black people he hired. He said that someone should have recognized that. Karith said she was slowly matriculated out. She said she'd be in the green room and Imus would tell her that her stuff wasn't funny. Robin said that's the kind of stuff they went through at NBC before they went on the air. Howard said that's brutal to tell her that her stuff isn't funny. Karith said he'd read her pre-written stuff and tell her it wasn't funny.
Howard asked what Karith is doing now. She said she's working on a few things and she likes to see that Imus is miserable. She said she's got a program called ''How to be a successful comedian'' on the web site HowToBeASuccessfulComedian.com. She said she has a few other things going on as well.
Karith told Howard that her boyfriend looks kind of like Howard. Gary said he looks like Howard circa 1988.
Howard said Karith is doing well and they kind of got rid of her quietly. She said that she won't talk about her contract situation. She said that Imus only cares about himself. She said she doesn't care. Howard asked her how close to a 10, being the worst person in the world, he is. She said he's a 9.8. Howard said she really doesn't like him.
Howard asked if Imus called her fat. Karith said that he would make fun of her and people would ask her if he was trying to get her to quit. Howard said he thinks that she's an attractive woman. Karith said she didn't know how this whole thing had happened to her. She said if she had come on Howard's show right after she would have been really bitter. She said she doesn't hate the man.
Howard said he doesn't understand how Imus got rid of his black people and no one noticed. She said that Tony might still be there. She said she doesn't watch so she's not sure.
Howard gave Karith a plug for her web site Karith.com and talked to her about her nice breasts. Karith said that they're like Robin's. She said they're like sisters. Howard asked if they're real. She said they are. Howard asked if the boyfriend spends a lot of time with them. She said he is a big fan.
Howard wrapped up and let Karith go after that.
Howard came back and said that's one of the greatest songs ever. He said he wrote it about Robin and sold it to Aerosmith. He said a lot of people don't know he's a song writer. Howard sang some of the song and said that the lead singer of this song is a judge on American Idol now. He said he admires their comeback. He said that they were gone and written off.
Howard said he thought about playing a song but now he can't remember what it was. Howard said he saw Mariah Carey and Nik Cannon being interviewed and Mariah was talking about her twins being born. Howard said she was saying that she decided that they'd play her song ''Fantasy'' as the kids were being born. Howard had a clip of her talking about that with Barbara Walters. In the clip Nik said he had to be able to cue the music and the lighting had to be right. Mariah said it was a live version of the song and she wanted the kids to hear the applause.
Howard said this is what they talk about with parenting. Howard said they have no empathy for a child. Howard said Mariah is so caught up in herself that she thinks the kids are going to know their mother and recognize applause. Howard said she's not doing it for the kids. She's doing it for herself. Howard said that is psychotic. Howard said he knows Nik says he always picks on him but this is just a kooky thing.
Howard played more audio of Barbara's interview and she was asking Mariah about not being able to trust Nik. Mariah said when he's nice he's the best guy in the world. Howard said maybe she thinks he's not nice because she's a lunatic. Howard said maybe he can't take it sometimes. Robin said maybe he should leave then.
Howard played some more audio and Nik was talking about how society puts too much pressure on entertainers and it should be more about doctors and people like that. He said he wants his kids to be able to go get a PhD and not just be entertainers. Mariah said that their kids really respond to music. Nik said he wants to make sure they get an education. Robin said it sounds like they're really on the same page.
Robin said that Howard is making her very sad for these kids. She said they're locked in a crazy house. Howard said Nik wants the kids to get education and Mariah wants them to learn music. Howard said he's had enough of these two. He said that was from a 20/20 interview.
Howard said that he's not a big intellectual. He said his favorite Olsen is Bree Olsen. He said he watches a lot of low brow stuff. Howard said he watches Fringe and Ralph has to explain stuff to him about it.
Howard said he was watching the Kennedy Center Honors and he saw that they had Neil Diamond, Sonny Robins and some other people that no one cares about. Howard said you need to have people on the show that people want to see. He said they had Meryl Streep but that's not enough to tune in for. Howard said they had Yo-Yo Ma too. Howard said that he knows what he's talking about and this isn't something people want to see.
Howard said people think that now that they're on satellite radio that they don't have as many listeners as shows like Letterman, Leno and Kimmel. Howard said that they have more listeners and the reach more people. He said that the Foo Fighters were on Jimmy Fallon's show doing a Pink Floyd song and they don't get as many listeners. Howard said those guys don't want to get up early to perform but they have more listeners.
Gary said that Green Day wanted to do the show last time and they just don't get up in the morning. Howard said that's because they're not hungry. Howard said they used to get up early for them.
Howard said maybe he should have demanded to do the show at 5. Howard said Mel thought it was more valuable to have it on in the morning but maybe it wouldn't have made much of a difference. Robin asked if they can do some segments later in the day to get something like that going. Howard said that ain't happening. Howard said the way those guys don't get up in the morning he doesn't come in later in the day. Howard said he might do that for the Stones but not for Green Day... but he likes Green Day a lot.
Howard said that Benjy's kid is his dermatologist's son. He said that Benjy should get a better dermatologist. Benjy said he has really fair skin and he has dry skin so it gets blotchy.
Howard said Benjy said his kid was better and then Gary said he had another kid who he met when he was 13. Howard said he's 16 now. He said they all got into an argument and they had to bring in all three of the kids.
Howard said Gary is a Steely Dan fan and he's insane over Hall and Oates. Robin said he's just passionate about music.
Gary said they have some prizes for the kids. Howard said he's going to give the winner a half hour radio show to play his own music.
Howard said that his kid has a good look. He said he thinks that Gary and Benjy's kids don't look as good. Benjy said his kid is handsome and a star. Gary said that his kid opened for Cee Lo Green. Gary said they were wondering exactly what that means. Howard said his kid jammed with Slash from Guns N Roses.
Howard said he had to get the kids in there but he had to take a break first.
Howard said when he was their ages he had no talent. He said he had a look that turned off women. Howard said he had Michael, Nik and Brett in there. Howard said Michael is Benjy's kid. Howard said he discovered Nik. Howard said he found him on the internet. He said he saw his YouTube stuff. Howard asked if he has a lot of hits. Nik said he has about 2000 views a month.
Howard said that Brett is 16 and he started playing about 2 years ago. Brett said he tried it out and he loves singing and writing. Howard asked Michael about how he got started. He said he started playing guitar a few years ago. Howard asked if they have anything to fall back on or are they going to be on skid row. They all seem to be okay with not making it.
Howard said that Nik is only 10 but he's played with KoRn. Nik said it was just back stage, not on stage. He said he hadn't played anything else before that. He said he just started playing a year ago. He doesn't even have a teacher. Howard said he just looked at the guitar and took it up. Robin said he was wearing make up. Howard said he has a look. He told her that. Robin asked why he started wearing make up. Nik said that it's for stage performances. Howard said this kid is in it to win it.
Howard said Michael is going to go first. Benjy discovered him through his dermatologist. Howard said that he has to tell his mom that Benjy's skin is hopeless. Howard said it's not a good representation of her work.
Michael said that his music is in the indie and alternative genre. Howard had him go over and perform something for them. Michael said the song is on his album that he had there. Brett told Howard that his mother loves Howard. Howard asked Michael how old he is. He's just 14. Howard said he had a band at 14 but they sucked. Michael said you can find him on Facebook under Michael Eliran or at his web site MichaelEliran.com. Howard had Michael play his song ''Wreck Like Me.'' The kid played piano and sang the song.
After the song Howard said he has some heavy thoughts in his head. Howard said he doesn't even want to tell him what he was thinking about at 14. Michael said he was thinking about homeless people in New York and what that would be like. Howard said it was beautiful. Howard said based on the name of the song he thought it was going to be about Benjy.
Robin said the other kids were grooving on the song too. Brett said he was liking it. Howard asked if he took piano lessons. Michael said around 10 or 11 he took some piano lessons and also took up guitar.
Howard said Nik was up next. Howard said this is the kid he knows. Howard said he's 10 years old and he has a good look. Robin laughed. She said he's very cute. Howard said he has the beret thing going like Kinison used to have. Howard said he started playing about a year ago. He said the kid is a good looking kid. He asked if he has any girlfriends. Nik didn't seem to care. The guys were in the middle of setting him up with his guitar. Howard asked if he's in it for the chicks. Nik said ''I dunno... I guess.'' Howard said that's why he got into the business.
Howard asked Nik what he's going to play. Nik said it's called ''Scales of Justice'' and it's on iTunes. He said he wrote it. Nik then started playing the song. It was just him playing guitar. He kicked ass.
After the song Robin asked who his influences were. Nik rattled off a few people. Howard said that's pretty awesome that he never took any lessons. Howard said that's very advanced stuff. Fred said it was phenomenal. Fred said he wanted to step out of the room and listen to it so he wasn't influenced by how young he is. Howard asked if he plays in clubs and stuff. Nik said he's been playing a lot of shows lately. He said he played the X-Fest in Vegas at Sunset Station. He said that he doesn't get nervous playing either. Howard asked how many hours he has to practice. He said he does that 2-4 hours a day. He said he loves it. Howard asked how many guitars he owns. He said he has 11. Howard said he has 15.
Robin asked if he's going to write lyrics for his music. Nik said he is. Howard said he's going to be like Hendrix. Nik said he played ''Fire'' at the X-Fest. He didn't have the guitar tuned for that though so he couldn't do it for Howard.
Robin said she's very impressed so far. Howard said he should throw them all out of there. Howard said Nik is very serious already and he's only 10. He asked if he ever has fun. Nik said he does all the time. He said he plays guitar for fun. He rides BMX and plays video games. Howard told him not to do BMX. Howard said if he was his kid he'd lock him up in a box. Howard asked if nay of them had been in rehab yet. Michael raised his hand. Howard told them all to stay away from drugs.
Howard said Brett is up next. Gary discovered this kid. Howard said Gary has been introducing him to a lot of people. He thinks that Gary is hoping that he's his meal ticket. Howard asked Brett how he met Gary. Brett said they were playing a town festival and Gary came up and said he had heard them. He didn't know who Gary was. He said that he was very nice about it and just talked to him. Robin asked where the rest of the band is. Gary said they stripped them down to just one person.
Howard asked if Brett was scared of Gary's teeth. Brett said he was but then said he's just kidding and he loves Gary. Howard asked who Gary has introduced him to. He said he introduced him to Howard. He also introduced him to Harvey Leeds. Gary said that Harvey does things with teenage bands and he's been using Brett for that. Howard said Brett has been playing since he was 13 and now he's 16. Howard had him play his song. He played ''My Name.'' His band is Run On the Sun.
After the song Howard asked if that was about a girl. He said it was. Brett said it was a lack thereof. Howard said he'd think that he'd be able to get chicks with a talent like that. Brett said he's trying to get chicks but he's not in it just for the chicks. He said that he likes a girl who doesn't really know who he is. Howard asked if she knows how he is with the singing. Brett said no. Howard said all three of them are really talented. He said the audience is going to vote for their favorite now.
Robin asked if they have wanted to do American Idol or anything like that. Michael said he was supposed to write a song for a girl from Glee but that didn't happen.
Howard said that all three of them were good. Brett and Michael said they had a CD for him. Howard said he'd get that during the break.
Howard talked to Nik about how he learned his music. Nik said he learned from watching YouTube. Howard said he doesn't even know how to tune a guitar. He said he has no ability and it's horrible. Howard said it's like having a super power when you can play an instrument. Howard said he had to rely on his great personality.
Howard said they're going to give the winner $500 and a half hour radio show. Howard said they'll give the runners up $250. Howard said that he's going to throw in a date with Robin too. Robin said that's like an albatross. Brett said he'd love to. Howard told the kids to sit tight and they'll take a break. He said they can stare at him during the break. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said Brett won with 2 percent more votes than Nik and Michael. Howard said they all have a future though. Howard said he was going to give the winner $500 and the two runners up $250. Howard said that Nik endorses a onesie. He also likes to jump out of airplanes. Howard said he does not. He said he thinks he likes it but he can't be doing that. Howard said that Brett will have his own radio show too. He said he can play with his band or do whatever he wants. Howard gave the guys their plugs for their various web sites and Facebook pages. You can find Nik at NikKaiRocks.com and Brett's Facebook page.
Howard said he was a cute kid and puberty turned him into a mess. Howard said he was like a werewolf. He said he changed but not in a good way. Howard said he morphed into a Dracula. Howard said he changed into an ugly man from a good looking child.
Howard said he knew a girl in summer camp by the name of Lynn. He said she was a red head. He said he used to write to her all the time. Howard said she didn't come back to camp the next year. He said he wrote to her and ended up going to visit her at her house. He said he knocked on her door and she didn't know he had gone through ''the change.'' Howard said she opened the door and when she saw him she closed the door. Howard said he's not kidding. He said she shut the door and wouldn't let him in. Robin didn't believe it. He said he looked like Cousin It when he was a kid. Fred played some dramatic music and some screaming sounds as Howard was talking about that.
Howard said those kids have super powers with talent like that. Howard said he had nothing. He didn't even have looks. Howard said he was slapped a yarmulke. He spent a couple of minutes talking about how scary looking he was after puberty.
Howard said he was a cute kid and then he got bitten by the flying gefilte fish. Howard said he had bad teeth after puberty. He said they were nice before that. Howard said he had to protect his daughters from that change. He said it must have been his ex-wife's genes that balanced it all out. Robin said that must have been the antidote.
Howard said everything went horribly wrong for him in puberty. He said he hit 13 and boom. Howard said the kids that were just in there looked good. He said he thinks they'll be okay.
Howard said he hasn't had it easy with that face. He said he's had TV execs cringe when they see him walk in the room. Robin said he didn't get the Ryan Seacrest look. Howard said Ryan used to be a fat, disgusting kid and when he turned 13 he became handsome. Howard said he was just the opposite. He said he can't stand good looking guys.
Howard said he saw Ryan Seacrest talking about how he likes to be vanilla and of course he does. Howard said he has to be the way he is because he doesn't have looks.
Howard had some audio of Ryan Seacrest talking about bullshit that he's involved with. Howard said he had to do an interview with Stone Phillips years ago. He said he told Gary to get a handicapped woman to show up and he'd make her walk. Howard said Stone was there and he started counseling her and when she stood up they stopped the cameras. Howard said Ryan Seacrest talks about visiting kids when they're ill and it's the same bullshit. Howard said he wouldn't do it on TV if it was true. Howard said he's a cunt.
Howard played the audio clips of Ryan Seacrest talking about being vanilla. Howard started playing it and said if he ever meets anyone who listens to that shit he's going to tell them to fuck off. Howard let the clip play and he'd interrupt it every few seconds. Seacrest was talking about how it's not his goal to be controversial. Howard said he talks really slow because he has nothing to say. He did an impression of him dragging out his sentences since he has so little to say. Ryan said he gets up thinking that he's going to be vanilla that day. He said he has no problem with that. Howard said he's really happy doing nothing.
Howard said he's jealous of him. Howard played more of the audio of Ryan going to visit some sick kids. Howard said he can imagine them telling Ryan to fuck off. Howard said he tried pulling that whole thing off and it didn't work. He said that Gary should have auditioned the woman in the wheelchair. He said she was over acting.
Howard played more of the audio and goofed on Ryan about how boring he is. Howard said that he imagines this kid had a dying wish to be bored to death by Ryan Seacrest. Seacrest was doing his announcing voice for the sick kids and announcing how to call in and vote for the kids.
Howard said he wants to take all of this away from him. JD said they could do an Occupy Seacrest thing. Howard played more of the clip and goofed on Seacrest some more.
Howard said that people don't like him. He said he's non communicative. Howard said that he's not the same guy in person that he is on radio. He said you're not missing anything not hanging out with him.
Howard played more of the clip and they were talking about Seacrest's girlfriend Julianne Hough. Howard said he hopes that her movie bombs. Howard said that he can imagine tagging that. He said that fucker doesn't know what to do with that. Howard asked JD what he would do. JD said ''What wouldn't I do...'' Robin imagined him making her have a dog lick peanut butter off of her.
Robin said that the total domestic take for the Footloose movie remake is only $30 million. Howard said ''good.'' Robin said it only made $6 million in foreign.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what a gefilte fish is. Howard said he doesn't know. He said it's just a lumpy fish covered in jelly. Howard said he forgot that it's not just New York listening. Not everyone knows what that stuff is.
Howard got back to the Seacrest clip and JD said he thinks that Hough is a hard core Christian so maybe they haven't even had sex. Howard said he bets that she fucks like a rabbit. Howard said he thinks that dancers love to be looked at and love to bend and twist. He said she's Christian right up until she gets in the sack. He said she's hot to go.
Gary came in with an article about Julianne Hough that said she wanted to be a virgin until she got married. That was from a few years ago though. Howard said she was only 19 at the time. Howard said he knows his customers. He said this one is good to go. He said she's ready. Howard said that's one thing he knows. Howard said she's ready to get baked. He said she's actually baked and ready to go.
Howard played more of Ryan talking about Julianne and how she's changed his life. Howard said he works hard at his own show. He said he hates his job and he wants to go home and lay in bed. He said that Ryan Seacrest is so boring that he likes going to work. He said he doesn't have to work at it to be vanilla.
In the call Richard calls a pest control place and said they had something in the chicken coupe that was killing the chickens. They played the sounds of some large animal and said it looked like a werewolf. The guy at the pest control place asked how it got in there. Richard said there were claw marks on the door. The guy told him to check the internet. They kept the guy on the line and said that the werewolf was wearing a Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirt. The guy stayed on the line the whole time they were jerking him around.
Fred played Robin into her news with a Little Mikey song parody. Howard said Mikey has been sending in a lot of songs. He played another one for her. Howard said that was the Matt Nathanson song from the other day. Robin said Mikey has ruined it.
Robin got into her news and said that Gaddafi has been buried. She said that they say he was laid to rest in an unmarked grave. Howard said he thinks that he looks like him. He said he has that afro kind of look so he should put on one of those outfits and see what happens if he goes over to Libya. Robin read about the burial and how they had to swear on the Koran not to say where he was buried.
Howard said he was reading the National Enquirer the other day and there's a blue dot in there. They say that if you rub it on your head it will be good luck. Howard said he's been carrying the blue dot with him. He said he had a wish and he stuck it on his head. He said that Beth saw him wearing it on his head and asked what he was doing. She knew what it was and asked if he was rubbing the blue dot on his head. Howard said he got the blue paint stuck on his head. Howard said he's not kidding about carrying the blue dot. He had it in his bag so he took it out to prove it to Robin. Howard said he can't even believe it. Howard tried to find it but he was digging through and wasn't finding it. Howard found an emery board and then found the blue dot. Robin said he even cut it out. Howard said his dream is going to come true and he'll say goodbye to everybody.
Robin read a story about a man who ended up in jail when a party prank went wrong. The guy hid and made sounds of animals so another guy got a gun and open fire. Robin said the guy was struck in the face and chest and the other guy was arrested.
Robin read about a 73 year old woman and a 54 year old man that were caught having sex in a car. Robin said that they were taken to jail and charged with indecent exposure and public drunkenness. Robin said that they were fined for that. Fred played some old lady porn while they were talking about that.
Howard said he has his photography equipment there today so if anyone wants their portrait taken he can do it.
Robin read about a woman who is going to give birth in a Brooklyn art gallery. Robin said she's going to do that in the next few weeks. Howard said that's vile. He said she should do it at home. Robin said that the artist could give birth at any time. Howard read a live commercial and went to break after that.
After the break, around 9:45am, Fred played the Robert Higgins - I see OJ... and Baba Booey To Y'all'' prank call. Fred also played Green Day's ''Brain Stew'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and asked Robin what else she had. Robin said that Lindsay Lohan will be in Playboy at some point. She's struck up a deal to appear in the magazine. Robin said she's not sure if she's ever been naked before.
Robin read about how Michael Douglas' son, Cameron, has been caught with drugs in jail so he's going to face a maximum of 20 years in prison for that. Robin said he must not want to get out of jail. Fred played Robin singing ''Cocaine'' while she was going over that story.
Robin read about a new study that found that a lot of penile fractures come when people are in extramarital affairs. Robin said that if you want to stay safe then stay with one woman. Howard said he bets that some wife wrote that. He said that this woman probably wrote it to scare her husband. Howard said he's almost broken his a few times. He said that he does it hard sometimes. He said that some women seem to like it really hard. Robin said it has to be at the right time.
Robin read about Madonna's brother who has been living under a bridge in Michigan. He says that he's been there about a year and his family has turned their backs on him. Robin said he claims he had frostbite last winter and Madonna hasn't commented. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin had some audio clips of President Obama talking about his jobs bill. Robin said he's going to do what he can to jump start the economy with executive orders if he has to.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the McRib sandwich is back and he figured Robin would like to hear that. Robin said she was going to read the story. Howard said that no one is even sure what it is. Jason said it's like one solid piece of beef that they pressed together. He said they bring it out like once every 10-15 years and people get excited about it. He said that it was out last year for a while. He said it was good but not as good as his memory made him think it would be. The caller said that it's out until the 15th or so.
Robin got back to her news and said that people want to replace the electoral college vote with a popular vote. Howard said he's all for that. Howard said he wants to be passionate about something and maybe that will be it... but he really doesn't care. Howard said he has like 2 free hours today that he could go out and hang up some signs.
Robin read about Katy Perry going out on the streets of Manhattan this weekend. Russell Simmons had them down there. Robin said that he's had some other famous musicians down there as well. Howard wondered how they get down there without making a whole thing out of it. Robin said that Katy is going to be in England to do a show over there tomorrow night. Howard said he'd demand a roped in area down there if he went down. Robin said that's elitist and wouldn't fly.
Robin read about a missing child and the mother has admitted that she got so drunk she doesn't remember what happened. Robin said a private investigator says he thinks that the child may still be alive. He found video of a guy carrying a child near their home. Gary said he saw the woman talking about getting so drunk that she didn't remember anything but she wouldn't say that she blacked out.
Robin read about how the new Steve Jobs book ''Steve Jobs'' is number one in sales on Amazon.com. Robin said it sounds like it might be a good read. Howard said he kind of knows the story of Apple so he's not sure he'd read it. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin read about a guy who was attacked by a great white shark off the coast of Australia. Robin said that an expert says that it could have been a case of mistaken identity. Robin said this guy says that sharks won't attack if they know you're not the type of food they're looking for.
Howard took a call from a guy who was asking if his parents ever pushed him into any contests when he was growing up. Howard said his parents never did anything like that. He said his father didn't think he could be on the radio at all. He did an impression of him yelling at him about not having a voice for radio. He said he doesn't even know how to mow a lawn. Howard said his dad did the opposite of what many parents do. He didn't want him on radio at all. Howard said his parents didn't even keep pictures of him. He said he forces himself to show pictures of his own kids. Howard said you know you're hideous when your parents won't even show pictures of you.
Robin read about how Steve Jobs was adopted and how his adoptive parents told him that they chose him because he was so special. Robin said that's why he had this attitude that he had.
Robin read about the Michael Jackson doctor trial that's going on and had some details of what's going on with that. Robin had some audio from the trial where one doctor said he never gave Jackson Propofol.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she wanted to expose this Make a Wish thing. She said she saw an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm and a kid wanted to go see titties. Howard said it was a TV show. He said that wasn't a real thing. He said that's a dumb thing to say. Howard said he knew that call was a waste of time. He said that Bob Schimmel had a great joke about Make a Wish and he told the foundation that his kid had a dying wish to see Dolly Parton's tits. He said it was funny.
Robin read about the NBA lockout and how they're not even talking yet so a few more weeks of the season has been canceled.
Robin read about Rick Perry talking about doing away with the current tax code and coming up with one tax rate for everyone.
Robin read about how the Queen was mooned down in Australia. Robin said that they say some friends dated a guy to bare his behind to the queen. Howard said she said she loves rear burger. Robin said the guy was apprehended by police and put in jail.
Robin read about a teenager who was behind a string of sexual assaults. Robin said the boy was 15 years old and he's been arrested and accused of 5 of the attacks. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about what was going on with that.
Robin read about the Indycar drivers trying to figure out how to make their sport safer. Howard said his solution is to stop racing those stupid cars. Robin had some audio of one of the drivers talking about that.
Robin read about the band U2 possibly breaking up. Robin said that they're saying the chances are 50/50 that fans will hear new music next year. Howard wondered if that means there won't be a sequel to the Spider-Man Musical.
Robin had a story about Bruce Springsteen playing a special show for two hours. Robin said he had some of the E Street band with him.
Robin read about Justin Bieber putting out a Christmas album. Howard said that's good because it means it's almost over for him. Robin said she's not sure that's true. Robin said he revealed his new song with Ryan Seacrest. Howard said he's heard that he's a really cocky kid. Robin said he probably can't avoid that. Robin had some of Justin's new Christmas song. Howard said it sounds like his cantor. Bieber sings with Usher on that song. Howard said it was awful.
Robin said she had a story about Jennifer Lopez breaking down and crying during a song. Robin said that she claims that she got sentimental over her two kids when she saw it on a video board.
Robin read about Joss Stone and some people who were allegedly planning on killing her. She had some details about that trial.
Robin said the movie Puss N Boots is coming out and she had some audio of Billy Bob Thornton talking about his part in the animated film. Howard said he doesn't know anything about that movie. He said his mother would tell him about his grandmother hiding from the Nazi's instead of telling him about Puss N Boots. He said it's no wonder he hates reading. His parents never opened a book for him. Howard said his parents never had any talks with him about sex or anything like that. Howard said his dad tried to have the sex talk but he had already had sex about 6 months before. Robin had Billy Bob talking about the movie. Howard said there was a time when he wouldn't talk about his movies.
Robin said that Johnny Depp is going to be in another movie playing Hunter S. Thompson. Howard said he thinks that one is going to fail. Robin had some audio of Johnny talking about his part. Howard said he's gotten really deep. He said he's not Johnny Depp anymore, he's Johnny Deep. Howard wondered where he got that accent from. He said he seems very affected these days. Howard said it's a good thing he did those pirate movies or no one would want to see him.
Robin read about a guy who was indicted on child pornography charges. Robin said he was on a reality show on the Food Channel for a while. Robin said the 38 year old was a pastry chef and he's not allowed to use a computer without monitoring.
Robin said Robin Williams just got married again. Robin read about the new wife and said she's a graphic designer. They ended the show around 10:30am.
Jon went over some other things they were going to cover today and brought up how upset Robin was with Mr. Skin over the ''rear burger'' comment about the Olsen sister. Jon said that Howard also admitted that he's jealous of Ryan Seacrest. He said that they'll have JD come in to talk about that.
Jon said that Howard was also talking about the National Enquirer blue dot. Gary didn't know what it was. Jon explained it to him and Gary wondered what it does for the Enquirer to have people carrying that around. Jon wasn't sure.
Jon said he wanted to talk about the Young Idol contest. He asked Gary if he thought his kid was going to come out on top. Gary said he hadn't heard Benjy's kid and Howard's kid. He said that he thought Brett sounded more polished. He said that it's hard to take two kids on the piano and compare them to a guitar player. Gary said Nik had the beret and the nail polish and make up on. He's already got a look but he looks really young too.
Jon said he thought they were all talented. He said that the vote came right down to the end. Gary said Brett was behind during the break and when he came back out and found out that Brett got a bunch of votes at the end. Steve Brandano said that the votes were wacky. He said that they got votes for everybody.
Gary said he met Benjy's dermatologist. He said that Brett and Michael's family were in one room and Nik and his entourage were in another one. He said they were just in separate rooms and they seemed to have more of a polish with Nik's people. Gary said they had a whole team with him and the other side was all parents with their kids.
Jon asked Gary if he forced his kids to play an instrument. Gary said he probably did. He said they didn't force them to do it but they may have suggested it. He said his son Lucas just quit this year. Gary said he was surprised that Brett hadn't been doing it all that long. Jon asked if Howard would have gloated if Nik had won. Gary said he thinks that he would have. He doesn't think Benjy would have.
Gary said that Nik is well on his way but he's not sure what he'll do if it doesn't work out for him. Jon said he wasn't sure which way it was going to go with the winner.
Benjy said that he was impressed with his kid. Jon asked if it was hard to hear the story Maryann told about Booker. Benjy said it didn't hurt today. He said it hurt 12 years ago. Benjy said they're super close and they're friends for life. Benjy said he cried over that whole thing. He said he had to get counseling. He said Maryann loves him and she'd tell them that. Jon said it's just as a friend though, right. Benjy said it might be a little more than that.
Gary asked if Benjy would like it to happen with her. Benjy said that he finds her sexually attractive but he doesn't have any romantic feelings for her. Benjy said the reason he brought this other girl up is because she's so talented. Gary said that he thinks it's a funny bit and he's hoping that he gets laid. Benjy said he swears it's not just to get laid. He said that he finds her sexually attractive and she has this quality about her that he wants to be with. Gary said he's c-struck. Benjy said that he's V-struck.
Benjy said that he was trying to impress this girl by doing the CNN thing yesterday. He said that he feels that it's wrong to do it but he wants her to like him more so he did it. He said it worked because she likes him more now. Benjy said that she thought it was ballsy and she got a kick out of it.
Benjy said that Elisa Jordana was in a band called Cobra Starship. Gary said they play some of their music there. He said they've had a couple of hits on Hits 1. Gary said she was in the band but she got thrown out. Benjy said that he thinks they dicked her over. He said he's not sure how much she would want to get into it though. Benjy repeated her name. Jon said he already said it.
Jon said he doesn't remember them booking this girl for the show. Gary said that Benjy pitched her and said that she was a-sexual and that's why she won't sleep with him and Howard said ''book her.''
Benjy said that they will see when she comes in that she's something very special. Jon asked how he knew she was a-sexual. Benjy said that Jon seems to be a little a-sexual. Jon said he's not. Benjy said that she says she doesn't enjoy sex. Gary said that he thinks that this is like the scene in When Harry Met Sally when the girl finds out that the guy didn't want to get married but it was just getting married to her that he didn't want.
Benjy said he doesn't think this girl is attracted to him. He said that he doesn't think that she's having sex with anyone else. Gary said that would be weird for him. Benjy said they're not dating so he doesn't think it would be. Benjy said he doesn't think that she's interested in sex. Benjy said that she's not into him and not into sex so it's a double whammy for him. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon asked JD if he felt for Benjy when Maryann told the story about making out with Booker. JD said he did. He said he's seen things like that. Gary said that he knows where JD is coming from. He said that you spend time with these women hoping that they'll see what a good guy you are. He said that just never happens.
JD said it's not all about looks. He said it also has to do with how successful you are. Gary said that JD is in a good spot because he has the fame going. JD said that the fame part is hardly there. He said that it's not a big thing. He told a story about going to a bar and a guy tried to introduce him to some girls and they didn't care that he works for the Howard Stern show. Jon asked what his move was after that. JD said the girls just went and talked to each other. Gary said JD is waiting for the girls to just say that they love Howard and they want to fuck JD. JD said that he's had some girls on Facebook kind of do that but not girls like that.
Gary said he thinks JD could get girls over the internet. JD said that things have been easier. Jon said he thinks he's on the right path. He said he hopes he doesn't experience the 6th grade break up. Benjy asked if he's looked her up on Facebook. JD said he's tried but he can't find her.
Benjy jokingly said he just recently got a giant tattoo of Elisa on his back. He said he's not sure he'd ever do anything like that. Gary said that Billy Joe from Green Day has a baby Finster on his arm but he isn't happy with it. He got it when he was very young.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Benjy if he's ever masturbated to Maryann or Elisa after going out with them. Benjy said he doesn't think so. He said he would because he has nothing against them but he hasn't.
Another caller said his friend had the Tasmanian devil on his arm and in one hand he's holding a joint. He said that the guy has a tramp stamp too. He said that's the worst idea for a guy.
Benjy said the tattoos that Rob has are meaningful to him. Gary said that he wouldn't know that's what he was going for unless he sat down with him. Gary said maybe that's why he does that. Maybe it's a conversation starter. Gary asked what Robin's means. Jon said that she said she's never going to say. Jon and Gary talked about the pain that Howard said he went through for his neck tattoo. They had to go to break after that.
Ralph also said that Chris from Howard TV has a bad tattoo of a pepper shaker. Gary said that it's a great picture of a pepper shaker but it doesn't belong on someone's arm.
Jon asked Ralph if he knows what Robin's tattoo means. Ralph said he doesn't know and sometimes those things can have multiple meanings. He said it doesn't really matter though. He said you know what a pepper shaker means but you don't care.
Jon took another call from someone pretending to be JD's girlfriend from 6th grade. It was a dude doing a High Pitch voice.
Another caller said that he agrees with Howard about Ryan Seacrest not doing anything for the kind of money he gets. The caller said he works his ass off 14 hours a day and he doesn't get credit but that lazy Ryan Seacrest gets credit. Gary said he thinks that Howard will be remembered in history more than Ryan will. Jon said that Ryan may be headed in that Dick Clark direction but he may not be remembered the way Dick was. Gary said Dick Clark actually came up with some innovative stuff and Ryan hasn't.
Jon and Gary talked about the wheelchair incident that Howard tried to do for that stone Phillips interview. Gary said the girl in that was really sick and she did die. He said that Stone looked at them like they were the biggest tools ever. He said it was totally a joke but it didn't go over very well. They had to end the show after that. They ended it around 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about how he's thinking of joining the Wall Street protest. He said that Wall Street is holding on to his money too. He said it finally hit him. Howard said a lot of people on Wall Street aren't focused on one issue. He said that corporate greed is keeping money from him too. Howard said he has to get in on this. He said he's against corporate greed too. Robin said she's sure they'd welcome him.
Howard said he has to come up with a catchy sign. Robin said that's the problem. They don't have any catchy slogans. They don't have anything you can chant. Howard said he'd like it to say ''Hey Sirius, give me my fucking money.''
Howard said that he has a contract that says if they get a certain number of subscribers then he gets a bonus. It says nothing about how they got there or who brought them in. Howard said there was nothing about a merger in the agreement. He said that if they get a certain number they give him a bonus. Howard said they got the numbers and now they say he didn't bring them in. He said there's nothing that says he has to prove he brought them in. Howard said there's nowhere that they can look to see who or how they brought them in.
Howard said he's going down to Wall Street with his megaphone. He got on his megaphone and said he has a beef with corporate greed. He said he has to sue his corporate masters. Howard said the crowd would start chanting and they'd demand things.
Howard said Sal and Richard went down to the protest and tried to find more focus. Howard said he's not sure they even know what's going on down there. He said he has friends who have no idea what's going on down there either. Howard said he's thinking about ''Hey, hey, ho, ho... Sirius owes me some dough.'' He said he could chant that down there.
Howard played some audio of the interviews Sal and Richard did. The boys asked what they were protesting down there. A couple of guys said they have no idea. One guy said they were standing up for what they believe in but he didn't say what that was. One guy sounded like Butt-head with his laugh. The guy had no idea what message he'd give about the protest. He said you just stand up for what you believe in and keep doing it.
Howard played another interview with a woman who sounded kind of like the other guy with her nervous laugh. She sounded like a female Butt-Head. She told the guys she doesn't really talk. They asked her what the protest was about and she didn't have anything to say. She just laughed. Howard did his Butt-head impression and Fred played a Beavis and Butt-Head clip as the girl was laughing. Howard said he hopes she was cute or she doesn't have a chance. Howard asked if she was cute. Gary said Sal just told him she was gross.
Howard played another clip where a woman was saying she was visiting her friends at their house down there at the protest. She wasn't even part of the protest. Another guy said he was trying to get a job. He said there's a whole bunch of shit going on. They asked another guy if the greed is unfair. The guy said it is and he was saying it shouldn't be about having a better education. He said everyone is struggling. One guy asked how they can take all of the grapes and keep them for yourself. He said it's bullshit.
Howard said he had another sign for his protest - ''Sirius. Give me the grapes!'' Howard said he's sure they'd give him grapes but the grapes is actually money.
Howard said he had some other interviews. He played a clip of a guy saying that it's supposed to be 58 acres and a mule. Robin said that it's 40 acres. that guy was saying that he'd be happy with a Cadillac and a condo. He was going on and on about the tall buildings and said they shouldn't be this big. Richard asked if he's hoping that they shorten them. The guy said he doesn't want them any taller than 16 floors. Howard said he's starting to understand what's going on down there.
Howard played another clip where Sal and Richard asked a guy about having sex down there and he went off on them for making a mockery of the protest. Then a woman interrupted and said those questions are out of line. She said they're down there protesting about grievous ills in our society. Howard said this woman was bumming him out. He asked if there was anything else going on down there.
Howard said Sal and Richard went down and fucked with that guy again. He played a clip of them asking him to sing his song again because they didn't get it recorded. They interrupted another time and they said that they didn't get it. The guy said he wasn't going to start again. He asked if they were fucking around with him.
Robin said she was talking to her driver about the kids that were on yesterday and then they were talking about writing songs and how hard it seems to be. Robin said that it's very hard to write a song and it's very hard to write a song that people actually want to hear. Fred said the song that guy was just playing was a Warren Zevon song. That guy didn't write it.
Howard played some more interviews Sal and Richard did. One guy said that he wishes that those people would go home at night. Howard said they will soon enough. It's getting cold. Robin said there are people who will stay. Howard said he heard that a guy is going to move to a protest where it's warmer. He said they have a whole circuit going on.
Howard played another clip of a guy talking about how he's been looking for a job for over a year. They asked what he was qualified for. He said he can do just about anything. He was willing to do janitorial or anything else. Richard asked if he's hoping someone will come down and hire him there. The guy said if they do have available jobs they should come down. He said they could get some people working. They asked the guy what he was going to do when it gets cold. He said he will wear more clothes but he's also going to go down to Florida to see what's going on down there.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to talk to Fred without Howard interrupting. The caller asked Fred how he interacts with his child actively. Fred said that he reads to her and helps with homework. He also drops her off at school a couple of times a week. Robin said he was active in the selection of the school too. Fred said it is important to be involved because you want to know what's going on with your child. Robin said she heard that Fred was inappropriate at one of the school meetings. Fred said it was on a tour of the school and he was trying to lighten things up. He said they were very uptight.
The caller asked Fred how he plans on influencing his daughter in arts and music. Fred said she's taking violin lessons. He's not even sure why. Fred said she said she wanted to play violin and she's pretty decent at it. Howard said you can't get into a band playing violin. He said guitar is cool. Robin said she could always take that up.
The caller said that Howard is interrupting frequently. Howard said he knows. It's his show. Howard said no one wants to hear Lisa G playing violin. Fred said that's boring violin and there is cool violin.
The caller asked if Fred beats the shit out of his kid or gives her a time out. Fred said that he would never beat her up. He said that time outs and other punishments where you take away her dolls or toys. Fred said she'll get bent out of shape if they do that. Howard said he doesn't know that kid. He said he has to get to know her.
The caller asked Fred what he thinks America should be doing to prepare our children for the future. He said he read a book called ''The World is Flat'' and went on and on about that question. Howard said he zoned out on that one and he's going to override him and say this is over.
Fred said that question was about the global economy and he's not sure that was something he could answer. Fred said that President Obama should have spoken to Steve Jobs about how he makes everything work before he passed away. Howard said he actually did have a meeting with him and he told him he was going to be a one term president. They talked about that a little bit.
Howard said he gets into this weird thing where friends have an assistant call him to get in touch. Howard said he doesn't do that to anyone. He doesn't have Laura call up and say he wants to talk to them. Howard said you should pick up the phone yourself and talk to the person. Howard said he has a couple of friends who are huge in the business world and they do that to him. Howard said he'll pick up and get an assistant saying that they're calling to talk to him. Howard said he won't say who they are but he will do it privately.
Howard said he'll get that call and asked if they're kidding him. He said he'll tell them to have the person call him themselves. Howard said he gets put on hold and it's ridiculous. Gary said he gets that a lot too. He said he'll get put on hold and he'll get into a conversation and they'll ask to send him something. Then they'll ask where to send it and the assistant will chime in and you realize the assistant was listening the whole time.
Howard said it's weird when they do that. Gary said he gets a call and he'll get put on hold and then the assistant will say the person had to pick up on another call and they'll call back. Gary said those assistants don't seem to care either.
Robin said the announcer is a douche. She said that she's not sure why he's there. Howard said Booker would have loved that job. He said even Bubba would have loved that job. Howard said he would have been terrific at it. Robin said no way to that. She said that Bubba would not have liked that job. She said he'd be over there punching someone. Howard said he'd shit on the stage. Howard and Robin talked about Dancing with the Stars too. Howard said everyone was pissed on the show.
He said that someone wrote about how he's lying about his hair because his beard is grey. Howard said he doesn't dye his hair. He said that a lot of guys have the grey on their faces and not in their head. Howard said he does not dye his hair and he was irked by that. Howard said he's not above dying his hair and he has done it. He said that years ago he did it but it looked retarded. Howard said Fred has a full head of grey hair. Howard said he has the worst genetics himself but he has dark hair.
Howard said he did a portrait shoot with Ronnie yesterday and he's still trying to correct the color. Ronnie dyes his hair. Howard said Ronnie uses that ''Just for Old Men'' stuff.
Howard said he's going to come back next Tuesday and do another portrait shoot. He said if Robin is interested he'll shoot her. Robin said she'd rather not do it there.
Howard said that this guy Max on Dancing with the Stars is a moron. He played a clip of the judges telling this guy how it was his worst dance of the season. The crowd was booing the judge. Then the guy, Max, says that the audience was happy with it. The judge and Max went back and forth and Max said everyone has been killing themselves just to hear their judgmental comments. Howard said that there was almost a mutiny on the show. He said the dancers don't like being judged by the judges. Howard said they should occupy Dancing with the Stars.
Howard said that guy must thing every dancer should win. Robin said that Chaz had a meltdown too. Howard said he missed that. Robin said that Chaz got voted off and he had a meltdown over being called a penguin or something. Howard said that guy Bruno compares Chaz to an animal every week.
Howard had a clip of Chaz being told he was voted off. Chaz said he showed America a different kind of man and he dedicates it to any kids out there who suffer like she did. Robin said that wasn't the melt down. That was from another part of the show. Robin said that Chaz started to cry. Howard said that's not very manly.
Howard had another clip where Lacie Schwimmer was getting upset with the judges. They were talking about how great Chaz was on the show and how the judges don't seem to like him. They were talking about how they were getting too personal with Chaz. Chaz talked about being compared to different animals every week by Bruno and that wasn't fair. Howard said Chaz should refuse to leave and just come back next week.
Howard and Fred said they let Chaz stick around longer than he should have. Howard said that Dancing with the Stars beat out the World Series in the ratings.
Howard said the song they played he doesn't even know the name of. Fred said that it might have been Lee Van Cleef. Howard played the clip and said that this guy is really great on bass. Howard said he liked these guys.
JD came in and told Howard about the song ''Wynona's Big Brown Beaver'' and Fred did an impression of him mumbling. Howard said he was in rare form on the Wrap UP Show yesterday. He said he had to play some of that. JD said he likes that song ''Wynona's Big Brown Beaver'' so Howard played some of that. Robin heard the song and said she knows that song. Howard wondered what Wynona they were talking about. It may have been Wynona Rider.
Howard said the guys told him that they have a Primus cover of ''Locomotive Breath'' in the Prophet system there. Fred found the song and played it for Howard. Howard said that was good. He said the bass was great and the drums were good too. Howard said they should sing it through a megaphone. He said that would make it really cool. Robin said the guy doesn't have the best voice.
Fred said they also cover ''Have a Cigar'' by Pink Floyd. Howard told him to play that too. Howard said they're really good musicians and maybe they don't have any songs that are that great. Howard said they might need a new lead singer to write them some good stuff. Howard said this was a great cover though. He said he finds it funny that Roger Waters can't get along with David Gilmore. He said they should be able to get together for all of that money. Robin said that would be corporate greed.
Howard said that they could win X-Factor as best group. Robin said not after what she saw last night. Robin said that the bands were nothing like this. Howard said that 14 year old blonde girl is going to win X-Factor. Howard said he can imagine Robin with LA Reid. He said that would be a good person for Robin to date.
Howard said he was peeing last night after masturbating. He said he was thinking about how he got bit by the Jewish Bat and started laughing at himself. Howard read some more emails about that and people were telling him how funny that whole discussion was. Howard said he and Fred spent 17 hours rehearsing that bit.
Howard said that JD was talking about how he had a girlfriend in 6th grade. He must have been nervous talking about it though. Howard said JD got hit in the face with a baseball bat when he went through the change. Howard said he thinks that maybe he got bit by a bat filled with mush mouth.
Howard played a clip of JD talking about not feeling attractive and he mumbled out some stuff about his 6th grade girlfriend. He hasn't had one since then. JD said he's only had one real girlfriend for like a month. Howard asked if he has to go back in his rolodex and think about that girl from 6th grade. JD said no.
Howard said he got so aggravated last night. He said he didn't know X-Factor was going until after 10. He said he was all charged up and he figured he wasn't going to fall asleep. He said he had to beat off. Howard said he had to rely on his own memories. He said he always goes to this one girl who he had a crazy experience with. He said it wasn't good for her. He said he came so fast that he told her he had to try it again. He said that was after his divorce and the woman was so hot. He said that he went for one pump and he was done. Howard said he figured he was bad in bed but he had to be better than that. He said he did it a second time and the same thing happened. Howard said he came after pumping in and coming out. He said they had nothing to talk about after that. Howard said the woman was so hot he couldn't help it.
Benjy asked if it was the first time he was with her. Howard said he was with her a couple of tines but it was a disaster every time. Howard said this girl was sexual dynamite. Howard said she's the country's greatest natural treasure. Benjy said he'd like to give it a try. Howard said he's never felt anything like it. Howard said he whacks off and thinks about her. He said he had to come up with some old sexual experience to whack off to. He said then he thinks about how terrible he was in bed. He wonders what's wrong with him. Howard said he's such a screwball.
Howard said when he's with Beth he can hold out for 30 seconds at least. He said she gets a couple of pumps. He said they're sexually compatible. Howard said he didn't think that he was going to get to sleep even after that. He said he had to take an Ambien.
Robin said that Howard is the one who says that you just lay there if you can't get to sleep. Then he's taking Ambien. Howard said that's because he has a job where he has to get up at 4am. He said he did it for them.
Howard played more of JD on the Wrap Up Show. JD told the guys about the 6th grade girl and said he thinks the girl's name was Natalie Spencer. JD told Howard that it actually wasn't her. He had a couple of girlfriend back then. Howard said it's sad that his best year was 6th grade. Howard said he has a theory about JD and his inability to talk. Howard said he won't get into it on the air though. He said he doesn't think it will help. He said he thinks it goes back to his parents. He didn't want to get into that though.
Howard asked JD when he last saw his mom. JD said he saw her this summer. He said he went down to Florida to visit her. Howard said he has to get in touch with that stuff. He said he's a fucking mess. JD said he's fine. Howard asked if she's still with the Hawaiian dude. JD said they're married so of course they are.
Robin asked if he stayed with his mother. JD said of course he did. Howard asked if he asked why she left him. JD said she didn't leave him. Howard said this is the stuff he has to get into. Howard said he thinks that he'd have a huge suicide rate if he was a therapist.
Howard said Chaz was upset about the animal name calling. Howard had his meltdown clip too. In that clip Chaz was complaining about being called a penguin. He was upset about that constantly going on. Howard said that he really is an overweight woman. He said that they don't compare the women to animals but they are doing that to Chaz. Howard said he heard that Cher was upset about the name calling too.
Robin said Chaz is gone so they won't have him to kick around anymore. Robin said she always stayed tuned to see his dances. Robin said that David seems to be close to the bottom every week. She said he was one of the lower voted dancers. Howard asked if Courteney was there this week. Robin said she was there the first night. Howard wondered if she has a job at Cougar Town. Robin said she thought she did. Howard said maybe she takes time off to go cry for her ex-husband. Howard wondered how that dynamic worked.
Howard said he had to take a break after that. He said at 8 o'clock they have the Second Biggest Whore contest coming up. He said they're every day girls who claim to be whores. Howard said they're whores you can meet in a bar. Gary said that they're all amazing but one is so into semen that she freezes it. He said she's not even in movies. Gary said one woman is such a whore that she didn't want to be flown in by them because she didn't want to be accused of doing it for the money. They went to break after that.
After the break we heard a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard spoke to an author about doing exorcisms and had him try one on Crazy Alice. Fred also played Simon and Garfunkel's ''The Boxer'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that he was shooting some portraits yesterday up there. He said he thought it would be fun to do. He said he worked in his office for a while and then walked around and did his thing. He said everyone was trying to jump in on his action. He said they were telling him to get Ronnie to smile. Howard said he hates when guys smile in photos. He said Ronnie is a man. He said that guys look ridiculous when they smile. He said no guy enjoys that.
Howard said he read an article about Metallica and Lou Reed getting together to make an album and it might be the worst record ever made. Howard said the guy said he was impressed that they gave it a try though. Howard said the author applauds them for that but found that it just didn't work. Robin said that they haven't released that album yet. Howard said they played some of that album.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. He said that he hasn't seen her with her giant thumbs since someone pointed them out. Howard said he has an idea for a photo shoot with her. Lisa said she would be honored... She thinks. Howard said he does have a nude in mind but he's going to be the one nude while he shoots.
Lisa said they tracked down Arnie ''Woo, Woo'' Ginsburg. She said that when she called him he had some of his radio bits ready to go. She said that he's 85 years old and she imagines doing that when she's 85 years old. Howard asked what he did when he did his reports. Howard said he never heard the guy but he knew the name and heard about what he did. Howard said that he was fascinated with guys who could build a career with one thing like that. He said that Murray the K did that with ''the K.'' Howard said he didn't do anything special on the air. It was just his name that people liked. Howard said Cousin Brucie was like that too. He just called everyone ''cousin'' and he made it into his thing. Howard said he was fascinated by this as a kid.
Howard said Harry Harrison had that name and ''Hello, love.'' Howard said that there are a lot of guys like that. He said that they perfect one thing and they go with that. Howard told Fred to play him a top 40 song. He wanted to do an impression of B.B. who would say ''I... am B.B.'' Fred played a few songs for Howard to intro and Howard did his thing as B.B. Howard said that he used to come in to work and B.B. would show up and do that intro with no thought put into it at all. Howard said that was stupid. Gary said he used to come in 14 hours early to do his show prep because he had to get out of the house because he had so many kids. Howard said he would come in and do his show prep and draw lines on a plastic sheet. He would do pacing and outline it in different colors. Gary said he had a ruler and he would come in at Noon to set it all up for his show that started at 7. Howard said that guy was a character.
Howard said they had Big Ron O'Brien and guys like that. Robin said they had Bumper Morgan. Howard said he got his radio name from an episode of a TV show. They weren't sure which one it was. Howard said he asked him how he got the name and he had it all figured out.
Howard said they had Johnny Dark and he was miserable. Howard said his whole beef was that he invented the name and a bunch of guys stole it from him. Howard said that the name of the TV show for Bumper Morgan was ''The Blue Night.''
Howard talked about Captain Frank who didn't like coming on their show because he didn't talk about anything sexual. Howard said he went off to work for some religious station. Howard said they were all nice guys over there. He said that he had no problem with them but he was perplexed with how they had a career.
Howard said he was told that there is a Bumper Morgan on the air. Robin said she read that their Bumper Morgan is dead. Howard said he's not sure about that. Robin sounded pretty sure. Robin said she's sure, she just read about it.
Howard said their news guy, Neal, from NBC died. Howard said he calls Booker once in a while and asks what he's doing. booker is playing records. Howard said that he can talk during his show because he just has to watch the computer. Howard said he has no stress and he just has to figure out how to keep that going.
Howard said Booker has a really good looking girlfriend. Howard said that guy has no problem getting laid. He gets laid all the time. Howard said he likes to be in relationships and then be in another relationship. Robin said that something always happens with him. She's not sure what that is.
Lisa said that Steve Brandano is dating a former intern, Smiles. Howard said that Ronnie must be jealous. Howard said that she's a very attractive girl. Howard said they have a new Behind the Scenes show coming out on Howard TV soon. He said they have some Richard Christy wedding footage. Howard said JD and High Pitch Mike were dancing together at the wedding. Howard said they also have that guy who looks just like him and he was barely able to get through the show because he looks like him. Howard said he had to sit through that and see the guy almost get on Good Morning America.
Lisa said they have a story about a fan who is living over in South Korea and her students listen to learn English. Lisa ran down a couple of plugs and wrapped up.
Robin said she was reading that Lindsay was looking for a million but Playboy didn't give her that much. They came close enough for her though. Howard asked Robin if she would do it for a million. Robin said her number is $15 million. Howard asked if she would keep some hair down there. Robin said she shaves but she would let some hair grow in for that. Howard said he's all for the complete shaving. Howard said he likes women and he's not a fan of body hair. He said that he's not into kids like people accuse him of.
Gary said he can imagine Robin keeping a shadow down there. Gary said $15 million is really out there. He said that if Playboy offered her $3 million, would she do it. Robin said no. She said $15 million is her number.
The caller said that he talked to Jackie about coming to Pittsburgh and he mentioned a club he had never heard of. Howard said he doesn't want to lose that show so don't make fun of Jackie. He said that Jackie has said he would like to stay with them but if he gets a better offer he might leave. Howard said he's not sure if he could find something to replace that show if Jackie left.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who said that he was blown away by that kid who was playing guitar yesterday. Howard said that was Nik Kai. Janks said they'll probably see him in some big band in 20 years. Howard said you never know. He said they can sometimes burn out by 13.
Howard said they got some feedback about the show and people were all over the place with what they liked.
Howard said someone wrote in and said that he's good looking and he's too hard on himself. Howard read that one and said that Ryan looks like a snapping turtle. Howard said he framed that on his wall so his wife could see that.
Howard said he's gotten some praise for Jon Leiberman. Howard read an email about how great Jon is doing his news. Howard said Jon does make them proud. He said he's a terrific guy.
Howard said he got some mail about Sal and Richard too. Howard said he tortured Sal yesterday by not taking pictures of him and only taking pictures of Richard. Howard said he's trying to break up that team. He said they'd get twice as much output if they worked separately. He said he might have to separate them. Howard read about their new prank call where they called pest control about a werewolf.
Howard said he was laying in bed the other night and saw ''Bruno'' on and he had to lay there and watch it. He said when that movie comes on he has to watch it. He said this guy Sacha Baron Cohen is a true comedian's comedian. Howard said the guy risks his life doing that stuff. Howard said some of the great stuff was when he had his Baby OJ on the conveyor belt at the airport and then goes on the Richard Bey show. Howard said that stuff is great. He said that he tuned in when he was in bed naked and they had to have the hotel guys come in to release him. Robin said he had to run away because they were about to get physical with them.
Howard said he thought he was going to get killed when he got into the tent with that one guy. Howard said that he loves when he says he knew he could become famous and said that Kevin Spacey, John Travolta and Tom Cruise are all straight and that's why they're so famous. Howard said he was cracking up and Beth wondered what the hell he was doing.
Howard said there was one part where he wrestles the guy in the steel cage. He said that was hard to watch because he must have come close to getting killed. Howard said they have some unbelievable stuff in the movie. He said he's not sure how that movie did at the box office. He said that everyone talks about how great Larry David is but it's no Bruno. Howard said he tried watching the show one time but he wasn't able to watch more.
Robin said that one of the best episodes was when Larry peed and his pee hit the Jesus picture and the owners think that he was crying and it was a miracle. Howard said that sounds funny. He said he must be a funny guy. Howard said that he likes Bruno though. He said he likes Bruno and Beavis and Butt-Head. Howard had to go to break before getting to the whore contest.
Howard came back and said they have 3 women there who are going to try and win $10,000 from ESTMen.com. Howard said this is a very big deal. Howard said they have checked out their stories and they're ready to talk to them on the air.
Howard said the first one up is Beth. They had an intro for her that they played. Beth is 25 years old. Howard said she's from out of state. Howard said she's not afraid to call herself a big whore. Howard asked when she lost her virginity. Beth said it was at 16. She was married by 19. She said she didn't have a lot of sexual partners before her husband. Beth said she was sexually active though. She said she slept with about 7 guys in that 3 years.
Howard asked what happened since she got married that she thinks she's a whore. Beth said she's been married 5 years and about 4 years in she looked to spice things up and have more fun. She said her husband was the one who mentioned it. She thought it would ruin the marriage though. Beth said she wasn't getting it very much. She said that he isn't getting action but she is. Howard asked if he wants to go back to the way things were. Beth said he likes it actually. Howard asked why she's such a whore. She said she's had a lot of affairs. She said she's fucked about 35 guys in the last year. Howard said that's pretty major. She said she finds them online on various web sites. She said she doesn't really have any standards either.
Beth said she does check out pictures and makes sure that they're clean first. Howard asked what she says in her ads. She said she says she's looking to get fucked. She said they have to come her way and come to her house. Howard asked if she has kids. She said she does but the kids are in bed when this happens. She said she lets the guys come into the house. She said she knows that's dangerous.
Howard asked Beth if she tells them she has a husband. She said that she does tell them but she doesn't tell them he might watch. Howard asked if the kids ever wake up. She said that hasn't happened. Howard asked if she feels emotional for any of them. She said she has felt something with one guy. She said she didn't get emotionally involved again after that.
Howard asked about how big their penises are. She said she likes big penises and she gets them about the same as her husband. She said that they have to be a minimum of 6 or 7 inches. She said that the biggest one was 10 inches. Beth said that she's not racist but she hasn't been with any black guys. Beth said that she has been with Hispanic men. Howard asked if she would be with a light skinned black man like Obama. She said probably not.
Howard asked if she's ever had guys just walk in and take her immediately. She said they have done that and she's kind of into that. She said it's not really a rape fantasy but it's a stranger sex fantasy. Howard asked if the guys lie about their looks. Beth said that some look better than they do in pictures. Howard asked when the husband started watching. She said he's been doing that from the beginning. Robin asked if it's straight sex. She said she does anal, oral... whatever. Howard asked if the husband joins in. She said he has. Howard asked if he minds her seeing guys when he's not home. She said he doesn't mind. Howard asked if the husband will fuck her after the guys are done. She said he does that.
Howard said this is Beth and she wants you to know she's a whore. Howard asked if she's ever turned a guy down. She said she has not. Howard asked if she gives pictures to her husband. She said she will do that if they took pictures or video. She said that she's not sure what he does with those though.
Howard asked if she goes to church. She said she's usually working so she doesn't have time. Howard said that she sounds like a dirty, filthy whore to him. He said she might just deserve that.
Howard asked how old the oldest guy has been. She said it was a 37 year old. Howard asked when she's going to go around town and pick guys up. She said she doesn't get out much. Howard asked if she's very vocal while having sex. She said that she can be. Robin asked if she liked choking and hair pulling. Beth said she's not into that.
Howard wrapped up with Beth and gave a rundown of what she had just said. Robin asked how many a week she will do. She said she's had up to 10. Howard said that's quite remarkable. She said she's had 5 guys in one night. Howard asked if she orgasms. She said that she doesn't always. She does swallow and she doesn't use protection. Howard and Robin said she really is a whore. Howard asked if she's afraid of any STDs. Beth said that she has them tested and she has to see that they have proof. Beth said that she has had guys fuck her and then introduce her to friends who fuck her and introduce her to other friends. Howard said he'd want her to himself. He wouldn't share.
Howard said Beth's breasts looked nice and asked if they were real. She said they are and they're a 36-D. She said that she's been tittie fucked and has guys blow loads on them. Robin asked if she takes loads to her face. She said she has. Howard asked if she has fucked her husband with a load stuck in her hair. Beth said she has.
Howard asked Abby about all of the guys she's been wit. She said that it's over 100 and she can only remember about 40 or 50 names. Howard asked if they have to be good in bed. She said they have to please her. She said she loves oral and she has no gag reflexes. She said she dose it all just for the pleasure of it.
Howard said he read that she had oral on a plane during a high school trip. She said there were 300 people on the flight and only 5 people knew what she was doing. Abby is fucking a friend's boyfriend and she has no idea. She said that she has two girls she won't fuck over but anyone else is shit.
Howard said Abby has been with 3 or 4 guys at the same time on a few occasions. She said that she's done an Eiffel tower which is anal bent over sucking a guy's cock. Howard said Robin has had that. Robin said she has not. Howard wondered why it was an Eiffel tower. She said that's what they call it. Howard didn't understand that. Howard thought the Eiffel tower leaned. She said that it comes to a triangle and that's what it looks like when she's doing it.
Howard read about how she's had a penis in her anus and vagina at the same time. She said she uses protection with some guys but not all. Howard asked why she thinks she has no desire for intimacy. Abby said she's never had any abuse or anything like that. She just wants life to be the way she wants it when she wants it.
Abby said she meets guys on Craigstlist, Facebook, bars, parties and places like that. She said she has had sex while horseback riding. Howard asked how she does that. She said you do it very carefully. Howard asked how that works. She said it's reverse cowgirl with the guy under.
Howard asked how big her boobs are. She said they're a 40-FF. Howard said even Robin's aren't that big. Robin asked how many guys she's been with in one day. She said she's had maybe 4 guys in one day.
Abby said she's had sex twice today already. She said she's been out partying. She said she took two guys back to her hotel room and fucked them. Abby said the guys were just two guys she randomly met. Howard asked who did what. Abby said she was out at Webster Hall dancing and partying and they all danced together and started talking. They had heard about her through Craigslist. Howard said she's famous in a sense. Howard said it's like the American Idol of whores. Howard asked what the guys did to her in the room. Abby said that she's wearing what she wore last night. Abby said that one guy was in her vagina and the other guy went into her ass. She said she thinks one of the guys was named James. Howard said the guys didn't even know each other. Howard asked if it's embarrassing afterward. She said she said she had something to do and told them to get out.
Robin asked if they were good. She said they did okay but she's had better. She said that one guy didn't know how to use his tongue and the other didn't know how to use his fingers. She said that she had to showered after. The guy was drooling on her. She said he was like a dog. Howard asked how the finger guy did it wrong. She said he needed to clip his nails a little bit. Abby said she told him that he needed to be declawed. Howard asked if any guys get abusive with her. She said that hasn't happened. Howard said Abby is a whore.
Howard said he heard she's not going to keep the money if she wins. She said she just wants the title. She said she'd prefer a pint of cum. Howard asked about how she can orgasm from blowing a guy. She said that she loves it so much that she can get off on that.
Howard asked Debbie how many guys she can do. She said that she has to have it before work and she needs it. She said that it's not a want, she needs it. Debbie told Howard that she's so obsessed with giving head that she got a tattoo that says ''sugar'' on it. She said that's how much she loves it. Howard said you are a whore if you have a cock tattooed on you.
Howard said Debbie claims that she'll go through withdrawals if she doesn't give head. She said that's true. She said she'll get really irritated and get headaches and things. Howard asked how long it takes for the guys to blow a load. She said that they have to cum quickly and she can't wait. She said she will swallow the loads and she tells the guys not to waste it if they do it at home. Howard said he was gagging thinking about that one. She said that she will drink it if they save it. Howard said he has to get out of here. He said he was going to throw up. Debbie said she had one guy bring her about 10 condoms and she drank all of that and blew the guy. Howard asked what happened to her in her childhood. She said she found gold and she loves it.
Howard asked Debbie about flying in from Florida and if she went out and found a guy to blow. She said she did. She said she got a couple of shots last night. She said that the guy came in and went right to bed and that was it. She said that he gave her two loads last night. Howard asked if she'll go out on the street and ask a stranger to do it. She said she will do that in a bar but she won't even take a drink for it. She said that she doesn't take any kind of payment for that.
Howard asked if she uses a condom. She said that she will drink it out of a condom if the guy uses it. Robin said she's getting sick hearing this. Howard asked how long she's going to be in New York. Debbie said he's leaving tomorrow. She'll be out on the prowl tonight. She said if one of her regulars doesn't work out she'll have to find someone.
Howard asked if penis size matters. Debbie said that the load size is what matters to her. Howard asked if she's ever thought about going to a sperm bank and drinking all of that. She said she has thought about that.
Howard asked Debbie if she's ever had more than one guy at a time. She said that she prefers one at a time. Howard asked if she freezes the loads. She said that the guys who jerk off at home save it in the refrigerator or freezer for her. She said that she likes them cold.
Howard asked Debbie if she likes to have a guy finger her while she's blowing them. She said that she will do that. Howard said she does sound like a filthy, dirty whore.
Robin asked why she was in disguise. Debbie said that she was told by her manager to go in disguise. She said that some of her clients know what a whore she is already. Howard asked what she's going to do with the money if she wins. She said that maybe she'll buy some cum or something like that. She said she really needs loads. Howard said Richie Wilson might be willing to help her out. Howard said maybe Benjy will do that.
Howard asked Debbie if she ever had kids. She hasn't. Howard said maybe if she had a son she could have blown her son's friends. Howard asked if she gets angry with a guy if he doesn't have a big load. She said that she will only get upset if they take a long time. Howard said she must be good at giving blow jobs. Debbie said she has a dildo in her purse if they want to see what she does. Howard told Will to get the dildo.
Howard said that Richard talks about this guy Peter North who has huge loads. Debbie didn't seem to be paying attention at that time. Debbie said she had a dildo but it's not the one she usually uses. She said that she carries it around to suck on. Howard had her show how she gives a blow job. Debbie showed them what she does.
Howard asked the other girls if they carry a toy around. Beth said she doesn't carry. Abby said that she doesn't either because people will go into her purse for various things.
Howard ran down the stories that the girls told and started to gag again while talking about Debbie saving loads. Howard said he had to get out of there. He said she tipped him over the edge. Howard said it was time for America to vote. Howard said he has his idea of who is going to win. He told the listeners to call in and give their votes. Howard ran down the list of women again. Howard said they're not ashamed of what they do. Howard said guys brag about it all the time so why shouldn't women.
Howard asked Debbie how many men she's had. She said it's over 100 since she was 14. She said that's a lot of giving head though. She said that blow jobs are a necessity. She said that she's fucked less than she's blown.
Howard let Beth get in a plug and so did Abby. Abby said that you can find her on Craigslist in the Central Jersey section. Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he's going for Debbie. He said he masturbated in his sweeper. Debbie asked if he saved his load. King said that it was all Debbie for him. Howard said the phones are open so call in and vote for your favorite whore. Howard said only one girl can walk out with $10,000.
Robin asked if people are going to start doing things just so they can get in on this contest. Howard said Jason just rammed his camera up his ass. Fred did an impression of Jason for a few seconds talking about jamming the camera up there.
Speech Impediment Man called in and said he was dropping loads right now for Debbie. She wanted him to fly in with his load for her. Howard said some people think that blow jobs aren't sex. Beth said she wouldn't even consider it cheating if it was just a blow job. Howard said Debbie says she needs it though. Howard asked Abby if she had anything to add. Abby said that you have to give back and not just take. Debbie said that she doesn't like getting eaten out. She said she only gives. She doesn't take.
Howard said that America will now vote. He said he's going to take a break and when they come back they'll find out who the biggest whore is. Howard said the winner will wear the crown of The Biggest Whore for a year.
Howard asked the girls if they will use the title in their ads. They said they would do that. Debbie said that she already knows she's the biggest whore. She said she's just going to get confirmation now. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard said that they all have fans. He said that Beth and Abby have their fans too. Howard kept Vinnie on the line and the guys kept playing him saying that he loves Debbie.
Howard said that ''America have voted'' and everyone is excited. Howard said he has the infamous Noel Biederman in the corner there. Howard kept everyone in suspense for a couple of minutes. Howard said coming in third place was not Debbie. He said that Beth was also not in third place. It was Abby. Howard said she is a horny minx and she knows she loves it. There's nothing wrong with just being a regular whore. Abby said it's been amazing. Howard said there's always next year.
Howard said that Beth fucks while the kids are upstairs. Howard said that they have Debbie and Beth left now. Howard said Debbie's blow jobs are out of control but only one can win. Howard said ''America Have Voted'' again and said he never gets tired of saying that. He was about to say who won but got distracted by the music playing. He said that the winner is actually Debbie. Howard said that Beth and Abby were dirty, filthy whores but they did not win.
Beth said she feels fine. Howard said Noel Biederman might give them a load. Noel said that his wife is there so that's not happening.
Howard had Noel give the prize to Debbie. Noel is from ESTMen.com and gave a plug to the site and Howard said no one has a clue what he just said. Noel said that's what Howard says every time.
Howard asked Debbie what she's going to do with the money. She said she's really not sure but she may buy some cum. Howard said he had some fans who wanted to talk to her. Howard took a call from a guy who asked if she's ever had double penetration in her ass. She said she hasn't but Abby has. The caller said that's a game winner. Abby said they were brothers too.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that Debbie was disgusting. She said she finds it hard to believe that she likes it on the rocks. She said she finds that all very hard to believe. Debbie told her that she should try it. The caller said she just doesn't believe her and she's not judging her.
Another caller said that he has to get the address of the woman who fucks while her kids are sleeping. Howard said he thinks this guy just wants to sleep with her. The caller said that's correct.
Another caller said that this is fantastic and they have to have more kids and teach them to be the same way. Beth said she has two daughters and she's sure they'll find their own way.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Debbie likes to be spanked and if any of them would let Benjy spank them. Abby said she loves it. Debbie said she'll do whatever it takes to get a good load. Howard thanked Noel for coming in and said that it's nice that they're flushed with cash so they can sponsor a contest like this. Howard wrapped up and thanked the girls for coming in. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and sang along with the song a little bit. He didn't get the lyrics right. Howard said he doesn't know the lyrics. He just has the music wash over him.
Howard said they were very busy today so he had to get right to Jon Hein and then Robin with her news. Jon came in and ran down his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show. They spent a little time talking about some of those subjects. Howard went off about Fred's daughter playing violin because she'll never get into a band playing that. Howard said that keyboards and guitar are the only things to play. He said wind instruments are useless. He said that the violin is useless too. Howard said they should invent a new instrument. Fred said that the last instrument that was invented might be the saxophone. Howard wondered why no one has invented anything new. Robin said they have the computer stuff. Howard said he thinks he could invent an instrument. He said that the hand sanitizer might make a cool sound. Howard picked it up and squirted some. Howard said it was a percussion instrument. Fred played some music and Howard tried playing along with the bottle. They played Jon out with his ''Jon Hein never masturbates'' theme song. Howard said he can't imagine never masturbating.
Bobo called in and talked about the great Howard TV special they have about Sour Shoes. Howard said that show is insane. He said that it's something else.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that the newest instrument created is the steel drum or steel pan. Howard said that this guy knows so much that he knows it's called the steel pan. Howard said he doesn't accept that as an instrument. The caller said it is. He said that it's the only instrument that has no moving parts to it. He said everything else needs a moving part.
Fred said that you do need to use different parts for the tone. The caller was arguing with Fred. Howard said he loves when Fred argues with people. He said he's already zoned out on it.
Gary said they have a guy who works for them who goes to see a band that has an amplified wash board. Howard said that's not new though. He said he has to create a new instrument that catches on. He said maybe Gary's teeth. He could play them with pencils. Howard said he'd go down in history as a great inventor.
Robin started off with a story about Dancing with the Stars and why Rob Kardashian is still on. Robin said they say that Kim Kardashian went on Twitter and told her fans she had Justin Bieber's phone number and it was actually the number for her brother on Dancing with the Stars. Robin said that's cheating. Howard said they have to get rid of Nancy Grace and Rob Kardashian.
Benjy asked Howard who he would vote for, David or J.R. Howard said J.R. is the best dancer and he's a war hero so he'd probably vote for him. Howard said that he's almost like a professional dancer now. Howard said he told David he has to go to Iraq and step on a land mine to win. He said J.R. is really good. He said Rikki Lake has rhythm too and he's surprised by that. Howard said he thinks that you could teach him for the rest of his life and he'd never learn to be that good. Howard said he thinks he would actually vote for David but J.R. would win.
Robin read about Lindsay Lohan being in Playboy. Howard said that she's turning out to be the worst Hollywood celebrity ever. He said that he's kind of excited about seeing her naked. Howard said he knows she's been kind of nude but he wants to see her vagina. He said he's a guy and he's excited. Howard said he'd like to be a better man but he can't. He said he wants to see this poor girl's vagina. Howard said Robin will look too. Robin said she isn't going to go out and buy the magazine. Robin said Lindsay could still end up going to jail. She's been showing up late for community service work and things like that. Robin said her father, Michael Lohan, has been arrested too. Howard said that's all sad but he still wants to see Lindsay's vagina. Robin read about Michael's arrest and what was going on with that.
Howard said he was handed a note that had exciting news. He said that they're only 365 days away from crowning a new biggest whore.
Howard asked Robin about Michael Lohan. She said that he was upset about his girlfriend not giving him oral. Howard said that guy is disturbed and he saw him on Celebrity Rehab. Howard said that guy is whacko but he tries to be rational and help other people. He said the guy is insane. Howard said that he has temper tantrums about his girlfriend like a child.
Howard said he has audio of Matt Lauer talking to Snookie. Howard said that he feels bad for Matt. He said Matt is a great guy and he loves interview heads of state and people like that. Now he has to interview Snookie. Howard played a clip of Matt asking her if we ever get to see the real Snookie. Snookie claims that the Snookie they see on the show is a personality she created. Howard said they could pass this bullshit off to someone like Ann Curry. He said Matt shouldn't be doing these interviews. Snookie was saying that she is Nicole now but on the show she's Snookie. Howard said he would have killed himself by now if he was interviewing her.
Robin said that Snookie is so drunk on that show that she falls into potted plants and stuff. Howard said it would be great if Matt's head just exploded during the interview. He played more of the clip and Snookie was saying that she could be a role model because she's so lovable. Howard said ''Poor Matt...'' He said that anyone who spent time crafting a show biz career must want to kill themselves after hearing this.
Howard said that Matt has had a great career and now he's stuck interviewing this Snookie. Howard said he spent years earning their trust over there at the Today Show. Howard said they should be making Ann Curry do that. Howard said he should refuse to do an interview like that. Howard said that he imagines Matt interviewing the head of India and the guy is asking him about his Snookie interview. Howard said Matt might need a better agent.
Robin said that if you were an 11 year old now he'd be taking the Human Papaloma Virus vaccine. Howard said that you can get HPV and get cancer in your throat. Howard said if he was single he wouldn't be eating vagina anymore. He said that if you get the herpes or HPV in your throat, you're fucked.
Robin read about Netflix and the stumbles they've had lately. Howard said he bailed on them recently. He said that the guy who runs it came out and reminded everyone that they had it. That's why so many people canceled. Howard said he wanted Green Lantern and it wasn't available on there. Howard said that it was everywhere else but not on Netflix. Howard said he wasn't going to wait until the 17th for that. Howard said for the last 7 years he's ordered maybe 10 movies. Howard said it's too slow. Robin said she hardly ever uses it. Howard said he had the streaming but he never used it. He said the movie he last watched was Robocop 3 and that's the worst of the Robocops. He said it's the worst movie ever made. Robin said they've lost a lot of subscribers and they're apologizing to the people they still have and trying to make things better.
Robin said that President Obama was on The Tonight Show last night. Robin said that he was talking about a lot of things like Gaddafi and many other things. Obama was joking about some stuff too. Howard said it's do demeaning that he has to go in and talk to Jay Leno. He said that must be so draining. He said he wants his president in the White House working. Robin had a few clips of Obama from The Tonight Show.
Howard said he's been watching The Daily Show lately and it really is good. He said he was watching for Bill O'Reilly but when they get together they're awful. Howard said Jon is really bright and he wants to talk about the issues but O'Reilly doesn't want to get into it with him because he sounds kind of stupid talking to Jon. Howard said Bill calls him ''Stewart'' and Jon does some chummy stuff with him and it makes him nauseous. Howard said Jon tried but O'Reilly was shutting him down.
Howard said that Jon Stewart brought up some stuff with O'Reilly and he just shut it down and didn't let him do his thing. Howard said Jon is really good doing that show. He said he likes the news he does in the beginning. Howard said he knows Jon has been doing the show for a long time and he's late coming to it.
Robin read a big party they had for the President out in Hollywood. Robin said that they say it wasn't a fund raiser but they were raising awareness for Obama's reelection. Robin had some audio of Obama talking about how to get people back to work in this country.
Howard gave a big shout out to Bob Harper on The Biggest Loser. Howard said Bob gave him a shout out in Us Magazine. He admitted he's a big fan of the show. Robin said Jerry West is too. Howard said he heard about that too.
Robin read about Rick Perry saying that he could get the economy out of the doldrums. Robin said that he's saying that taxes would be lowered in some areas. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Howard said he sounds like Pat Robertson. Robin said that he's talking about cutting spending and things like that. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin read some news about the Occupy Wall Street movement and how it's all over the country now. Robin said in New York there were protesters invading an education panel meeting. Robin said they caused such a disturbance that the school chancellor had to move the meeting. She had some audio of the chant that the protesters were doing. Howard said that the woman leading it was really annoying. He said he has no idea what her message was.
King of All Blacks called in and asked for advice on what kind of gold to buy when he buys a $4,000 necklace today. Howard said he doesn't know about all of that. King said that he's getting a nice link chain. Howard asked if he wants to look more handsome or something. King said he's been saving up for it. Howard told him to be a man and not buy jewelry. Howard told him to give up. Howard said that it's not going to get him women. Howard said his wife gave him a necklace and that's a nice thing. Howard said he wouldn't go buy a chain for himself. Howard told King to have his wife buy one for him. King said he wouldn't like it. He said that he'd have to act like he likes it. Howard asked what he thinks is going to happen when he wears it. King said he has to see it. Howard said he tied a bow on a pig the other day. He asked King if he has something better to spend 4 grand on. King said that his wife could sell it if he dies. Howard said that he should make a necklace out of 4,000 $1 bills. that would be impressive. He hung up on King.
Robin read some news about the Occupy Atlanta demonstration. She had some audio of the mayor talking about how unclear these people are about this whole thing and they have to figure out what they want.
Howard said he doesn't understand the whole gold chain thing. He said it's not going to make a difference for someone who doesn't even care about how his body looks.
Robin read some more about the ''Occupy'' demonstrations around the country. Some of them are being dispersed.
Robin read about a gym teacher who was accused of sending a bomb threat to her school because she didn't want to work. Howard said that if you're a gym teacher you're not going to outsmart anyone. Howard said the ones he has encountered weren't all that smart. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on the incident that took place at an elementary school. Robin said this woman only works one day a week. She didn't just disrupt her own class but the whole school. Howard said that's really fucked up.
Robin said that a doctor is traveling the country trying to find the worst bad breath. Howard said some of the guys there might have the worst. Howard said he has friends who have such bad breath and he can't tell them. He said some people walk around with a stench. Robin said that if you blow into your hand you only smell your hand. Howard said Gary would do that when he told him that he had bad breath. The doctor suggested licking your hand and then smelling that. Howard sounded like he was disgusted by that. Robin said that this guy created an oxygenated breath freshener for his daughter who suffered from bad breath. Howard said you have to brush your teeth and don't eat too much garlic. Robin said that the guy has a digital bad breath meter that he takes around. Howard said he uses Stimudent all the time. He said people see that and know what he's up to. He said he has beautiful breath.
Robin read about sugary drinks being bad for kids. Robin said they've linked the drinks to childhood obesity. Robin had some audio of a woman talking about that. Howard said that soda is sugar and water and it's not good for you. Howard said you don't need to have sugar drinks in your house. You just need water.
Robin read about how Sean Lennon and Rufus Wainwright have been lending their voices to the Occupy Wall Street movement. Robin had some audio of their performance of ''Material Girl.'' Howard said that's supposed to be cute like they're above all of that. Howard said he loves that Sean thinks he's a musician. Howard said he doesn't have a clue about what's going on down there.
Robin said that Darrell Hammond has a new book out and he talks about his childhood abuse and things like that. Howard said his mother used to try to cut off his tongue with scissors and things like that. Robin had some audio of Darrell talking about what he would do before doing his thing on Saturday Night Live. Howard said they've had him on and maybe they should have him in to promote his book. He said you have to be prepared to be depressed though. He played another clip of Darrell talking about being taken away in a straightjacket from SNL once.
Howard played more of the Material Girl cover and said it's a smug superiority. Howard said he has noting against Sean but he doesn't think that they're saying they like Madonna. Robin said they're singing about materialism. Howard said they have no right to talk about that when they've never held a job and grew up with that kind of money. He said you have to earn that right.
Robin read about Dan Wheldon and how much money he was making as a driver. Robin said that they apparently don't make very good money. Robin said that they're auctioning off items for his family. Robin said that he won two Indy 500 races and he didn't have a lot of money. Howard said that's some career. Robin said you'd think you'd get a lot of money doing that. Ronnie came in and said that the Indycar people don't make a lot of money. He said the money is in NASCAR. He said that the Indycar drivers don't get that many people watching the races. He said the NASCAR races get all of the money these days. He said they don't even have those races on regular TV these days. He said they have it on Versus usually. Howard asked why Bubba wants his kid doing that. Ronnie said he wants his kid to be in NASCAR. Howard said it's safer to teach him tennis. He doesn't understand that whole racing thing.
Robin said that Chaz Bono was on Jimmy Kimmel last night talking about getting kicked off Dancing with the Stars. Chaz was talking about how he didn't like being compared to animals and round objects. Howard said they were a little rough on him. He said Chaz is his man. Howard said that dudes are rough on each other though. He said he should expect that now. Howard said he's a guy and there hasn't been a day when he hasn't been offended by another guy. Howard said he gives it right back though. Howard said he'd give Chaz some dude lessons if he came in there. He said he thinks he's afraid of him though.
Robin said that Eddie Murphy was on Letterman talking about the Oscar hosting and how he's not going to do a crazy dance number. Howard said ''Thank god...'' Howard said Eddie is brilliant and he has to do stand-up like he used to do in the old days. Robin said he says he won't be wearing leather like he used to. He will be having fun.
Robin read about Sly Stone and how he's been living outside of people's homes in a camper. Robin had some of their music but Howard hated the song she picked. Howard said that was ''Family Affair'' and he hates it. He said it's horrible but he had some great songs. He likes ''Don't Call Me Nigger Whitey.'' He played some of that one instead. Howard said he thought that was so cool when he heard it the first time. Robin thought that was from ''Hair.'' Howard told her that was a different song where they used the N-word. Robin said that Sly has reportedly checked into rehab to address a crack cocaine addiction. Robin said they say that he wants to get clean and stay sober. Robin said he'll be in rehab for at least 90 days.
Robin read about Bette Middler who is backing the Occupy Wall Street demonstration. Robin had some audio of her talking about that on Joy Behar's show.
Robin had some audio of Johnny Depp talking about his new Hunter S. Thompson movie ''The Rum Diary.'' Howard said that there is some unwritten contract about how Hollywood actors get to do one good movie and then a bunch of shitty ones. Robin had Howard play the clip of Johnny Depp talking about the movie. Howard said he can't figure out what's up with that guy. He said he's all serious. Robin said he's not a funny guy. Howard did an impression of him and asked who he is and where he came from. He said he doesn't know anyone who talks like that. Howard asked if a project happens in the woods, and no one is there to see it, did it actually happen? He played more of Johnny going on and on about this movie and Hunter S. Thompson. Howard wondered how you sit in a house and read to one another. He goofed on Johnny for a few minutes about that. Howard said he's Johnny Deep now. That's what he said yesterday. Howard joked about how Johnny found an ass napkin of Hunter's while he was digging around in his junk. Howard said the whole world has gone nuts. He wondered why the whole world isn't like him. Robin said Howard is nuts too. Howard said he could have made that story so much quicker if he just said they found a book and decided to make a movie out of it. He said the guy is a lunatic.
Robin read about the NBA players and owners trying to come to an agreement for the new season. Howard said he's ready to go court side so he hopes they can get it together.
Robin had some Michel Jackson doctor trial updates. She had some details about what's been discussed lately in the case.
Robin said that Gabourey Sidibe is in a new movie with Eddie Murphy. Robin had some audio of her talking about working with Eddie. Howard said he was wrong about her not getting any more roles. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:35am.
Jon went over some other things he wanted to cover today. Jon mentioned Robin's $15 million demand to appear in Playboy. Gary said that they're never going to pay her that kind of money. He said he thinks that $3 million is a reasonable number that she might take. Gary said he figured that 1 million wasn't enough so he made it into 3 million and figured that would be a livable number. Gary said he'd like to see the offer made and see Robin actually turn it down.
Benjy asked Gary what his number would be to appear in a gay magazine. Gary said he doesn't have a number. He's never thought about it. Gary said he has no problem showing his ass. He said that putting it in a gay magazine chances everything. Benjy asked about taking a photo defecating. Gary said that things have changed over the years. He said in the old days he'd keep a drawer full of pictures. Now they have everything on the internet. Gary said that Robin wore a black one piece the year Howard did Fartman at the MTV awards. He said Robin's tits could be seen in that magazine. He said if it happened these days that photo would be all over the internet. Gary said he has a lot of those photos saved. He has some great pictures of Courtney Love stage diving and she's just about naked with people's hands all over her. Gary said he has to show the file to Jon.
Jon asked if anything shook the guys. Benjy said he wanted to talk about Abby and how she said that she had to be orally pleased to give a blow job. He said that took away from her whore status. Jon asked if he had ever heard of the Eiffel Tower before. Benjy said he thinks he has.
Gary said that the other two girls were very young and in 10 years they may have really good stories. He said Debbie is in her 40s so she's got more stories to tell. Gary said they had a good contest and it was very balanced.
Gary said that Debbie is the real deal and it sounds like one of those ''Strange Addictions'' show things. He said that they have a girl who eats toilet paper and this seems to be something similar to that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's totally agreeing with Gary about that Strange Addiction thing. He said they should have her on just guzzling cum. The caller said that they have people with the craziest stories in these contests. He said that Debbie had that cock tattoo on her and he's not sure what a guy would think seeing that. He said she has to be a total whore with that tattoo.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked if any of the guys tried to fuck the whores. Gary said no one tried to bang anyone there. They run a tight ship there. Jason said JD isn't there so who knows what he's up to. They had to go to break after that.
Jason said that's happened to him before. He said it scared him the first time he heard it. He said it's kind of creepy when you hear that third voice in the background. Gary said that is a whole creepy set up.
Jason said he got a call from an assistant to set up a call later in the week once. Gary said he gets that a lot. He said they ask if he can do a call later in the week or something. Gary asked Jason if he got the assistant or the actual guy. Jason said that it was the actual guy when he got the call later in the week. Gary said he thinks that he shouldn't be upset about that.
Jason once called Richard Jeni and he said that he was his assistant. He was playing the part of the assistant. Jason said that Richard was asking if things were over for him. Jason said he told him that it wasn't over and they just couldn't get him on the show. Then Richard lost himself.
Gary said he thinks that Louis CK doesn't like him. He said one day he got a call and it turns out that it was Louis who called and he thought it was Greg Fitzsimmons. Gary said he doesn't think he said anything too disparaging but he may have upset him in some way. Jason said he ran into Louis out on the street too. Gary said he thought Louis did okay when he was on last time. Gary said he saw Ricky Gervais out on the street and he didn't notice that Louis was there. Gary said that Louis introduced him and he asked Ricky if he would like to do the show. Then Louis said ''I'd like to do the fucking show.'' Gary said he thinks that Louis thought he was fucking with him.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they could isolate the whores so they can't hear the stories the other girls are saying. He said they could come up with other stuff. Gary said that Debbie's story was exactly what she told Will off the air. Jason said that if they told a story different than what they told Will then they might be suspicious.
Another caller's line was cutting out. Gary said he wanted to know how they found Debbie. Gary said that she just wrote to them and they found her that way.
Another caller said that he'd let Debbie borrow a cup of his sugar any day. He asked how she looked. Gary said she looked like she might not blow him. That guy sounded like he was really wasted.
Steve said he thinks that Debbie wanted to be on the show before this contest and she just happened to work out for this one. Gary said the funniest line today was Howard saying that Debbie was the biggest whore and the other girls were just regular whores.
Jon asked what Gary thought of the dildo demonstration Debbie gave today. Gary said he's seen better. Jason said she was more about loving than deep throating. Jon said they had to go to break after that.
That led to the guys talking about the crazy stuff Sal might be willing to do. Jon asked Benjy if he would be able to do that. Benjy said he wouldn't freeze it or anything like that. He said that would be too much.
Jon said that the whores were all qualified. Will said that Beth was really good and she didn't even get into it that much about how her husband likes to bang her after another guy has blown a load in her.
Sal came in and said that Debbie Facebooked him and asked him to cum for her about a year ago. He said that he had never had that before. He said he thought that she was trying to rope him into something. He said that she sent him some pictures and she also told him that she cut open 8 condoms and ate them so he figured she'd be great for the show. Will said she sent them a picture of 15 cut condoms on a table.
Gary said that Sal is a star there and if he had done something like that as a stockbroker then he'd be fired. Jason said that Sal was making it sound like he was going to give her a load. Sal said he's not going to do that. He said as much as he'd like to he's not going to do it.
Jon asked Sal if he would jerk off and send her his load. Sal said he's not sure if he would do that. He said that it would be like giving a donation to a sperm bank. He said that he'd be happy and she'd be happy but no kid would be born from it. Jon said that she's a little different than a sperm bank. Sal said she is because she's drinking it and not putting it in her vagina. He said that's not that hot to him. He said that it is interesting though. Benjy said it's more interesting than hot.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that Howard was gagging from this stuff and Sal is asking her to send pictures of it. She said they're funny. The caller said that she wanted to talk about facial hair and men going grey. She said that a lot of men color it. She said that she thinks that Dominic Barbara would be like the assistant guy. Gary said he can't remember if Dominic did that or not. They had to wrap up and end the show after that. They ended it around 11:15am.
Richard Christy's Parents Visit The Big City. 10/27/05. 8:10am
After the break Howard played some audio of John the Stutterer leaving a message about how he thought that they were too nice to him by giving him $500 and wanted to give it back to them. Howard asked Richard if he's able to listen to the whole message when he checks his voice mail. Richard said that he can't make it through more than 30 seconds. Gary came in and said that he just listened to it for the first time today after the message sat there for about 5 days and it was very long. John thinks that it was a mistake but Gary said that it wasn't a mistake and he was supposed to get two checks.
Howard said they've all heard Richard's parents on the voice mail before and now they're there in the city. Richard said they just got to the city yesterday and they're living the high life getting driven around in the car service they have. Robin was shocked at how tall Richard's father was. Howard asked them how they were enjoying the big city. Richard's father said they've been to Kansas City but never to New York. Howard then talked to Mr. Christy about being drafted into the military for Vietnam but he didn't want to talk about what he did in there. Richard said that his father got a purple heart but he didn't want to talk about why he got it. Mr. Christy said he did see some battle but didn't seem interested in telling them about it. Mr. Christy said that he was there back in 1966-67 and things changed when they moved into the 70s. Howard asked him about getting his R & R back then and if he's ever had any other women. Mr. Christy said that his wife is the only woman he's ever had but Mrs. Christy said that wasn't the case and even she's had other men. Howard wanted to know more about that but they didn't want to get into details.
Howard asked Mr. Christy if he ever had sex with animals to practice having sex when he was younger. Mr. Christy said he didn't have to do that. Richard said that he knew some guys who did that back when he was living at home. Howard got back to Mr. Christy and asked him about why he never went to the big city to live and turned to almost a survivalist. They go out and catch their own food instead of going to the stores to buy their food. They catch their own turtle and fry it up to eat. Richard told Howard that they don't sell turtle in the store so that's why they have to catch their own. Howard wondered when Mr. Christy realized he could shoot squirrels and eat them. Christy told him that he's been doing it since he was a kid so he doesn't know any different. Howard said he would have to turn to Mr. Christy to help him hunt if he had to survive in the woods like the Christys do. Howard asked if he could catch fish with his bare hands. He said he could do that and has done some ''noodling'' where you just stick your hands in a hole in a river and grab the fish. Richard said that's pretty scary because you can't see what you're grabbing.
Howard said that the Christys catch raccoon and claim that they don't have rabid ones out there. Mr. Christy said that they barbecue them up and slather a lot of barbecue sauce on them to make them taste good. They also sell the meat to black people out there. Howard heard that they have to leave the feet on the raccoons because some people will kill cats and sell them as raccoons out there. Howard asked Mrs. Christy if she ever thought about what it would be like to be married to someone other than this guy where she'd be able to have a decent meal. She just laughed when she heard that.
Rev. Bob Levy called in and asked the Christys if they'd met Richard's boyfriend Sal yet. Howard then brought up how the two of them have slept in the same bed with each other a few times. Howard asked them if they knew about that and the parents had no idea. Sal came in and lifted up his shirt and told them that their son has had some ''Sicilian snake'' as well as the other animals he's eaten. Howard said that Sal has been acting like a nut out in the hall since the 60 Minutes crew was there. He's been goofing on Gary and trying to get attention from the camera crew. Sal said he hasn't been able to goof on Gary on camera for quite a while. The guys also brought up how Benjy came in and handed them a bit this morning that he wanted to do and it was obvious that he was doing it for the camera crew. Gary said that he doesn't do that every day but Benjy swears that he does. He was getting really pissed so Howard had to tell him to calm down.
Howard played a voice mail that Richard left for Will one time that he got really drunk. He was telling Will what a sexy bitch he was and talked about taking a piss out on the street. Howard was playing that so Richard's parents could hear what their son is up to there in New York City. Richard's father wondered who Richard was leaving the message for. Howard told him that it was for this boy named Will who works in the back. Mr. Christy said that ''maybe the big city changed him, ya reckon?'' Howard wondered if he was okay with it. Mr. Christy didn't seem to have a problem with it.
Howard asked Mr. Christy if he's tried to kill anything since he got there. Mr. Christy said that he tried to grab a pigeon when he got there but they were too fast. Howard found out that Richard took his parents out to eat last night and they grabbed a hot dog off of one of the corner vendors... fancy meal. Richard said that he'll take them out tonight to a nice place but last night he just wanted to get them some authentic New York City food. Howard asked his parents about how their son doesn't bother to brush his teeth sometimes. His parents aren't sure how that happened because they brush their teeth all the time. Mrs. Christy said she lost her teeth after chewing a lot of gum when she was trying to stop smoking. She also thinks that it was her genetics that helped her lose her teeth.
The guys said that Mr. Christy would be great on the TV show ''Survivor'' since he can live off the land so well. Howard asked Mr. Christy if he's ever seen any Jews out in Kansas. It sounds like they don't see many, and they don't have a lot of blacks in their area, they have to drive into Kansas City to find them to sell the raccoon meat to. Artie asked how much they can sell the raccoon for. Mr. Christy said he can get five bucks for them so he can sell about 6 or seven and make $30. It's all profit though. Howard told the Christys that their son is now part of his family and he's very proud of him. He also mentioned that Richard is obsessed with porn and wondered if they're worried about him. He explained how he has a laptop computer filled with porn and he lives in a tiny apartment where he beats off every Friday night. He gave them the full run down of what Richard does on those nights and asked his parents what they think about it. They said that as long as he's not out on the street freezing to death, they're fine with that.
Artie asked when they found out that Richard was a great drummer. They said he's always drummed on stuff and they had some trouble sleeping years ago when he would stay up late playing at night. Mr. Christy was shot in the foot by his brother one time. He made it through Vietnam and didn't get shot until he came home. They were hunting squirrel and when he went to kick one, his brother shot the thing and got him in the foot. Howard wrapped up a short time later and went to break.
Smokin' Joe Frazier Comes In. 10/27/04. 8:45am
Howard had former boxer Smokin' Joe Frazier come in. He asked Joe if he's still in love with Robin these days. Joe said that he's not in love anymore so Howard replayed the tape of him singing to her years ago. Joe sang along with the tape and finished off the song without the tape. He saw Robin a few seconds later and told her she still looks great today. Howard talked to Joe about beating the crap out of Muhammad Ali and how it's screwed him up so much that the guy can barely speak these days. Joe remembered the old days and talked about those fights a bit. He didn't want to get into bad mouthing Ali too much today. He said he's over all of that stuff. Howard tried to get him back into it but Joe really tried not to bad mouth Ali too much. Howard brought up the things Ali said to Joe about being a ''gorilla'' and how wrong that was. Artie said that Joe was the guy who broke Ali's jaw. Robin said that was someone else but Joe said that he also broke his jaw.
Howard said he heard about what Joe said in the green room earlier. He'd asked an intern if he was married yet. Joe suggested to him that he should sample all of the P-word he can before he gets married. Joe told Howard that his son came to him and said he was going to wait for ''the right woman'' to come along so he told him he can't find the right one unless he samples as many as he can. That led to Joe talking about how he got into a fight with his 12 year old son who ended up calling the cops on him. The kid is only 12 but he weighs in at 212 pounds. Joe joked that he sleeps in the kitchen. Gary came back in and said that he heard that the mother of the son was there and she might have had some marks on her. Joe talked about the woman for a short time. Howard wondered if he bothers to wear a condom when he's with women. Joe pretended he didn't even know what a condom was. He said that there's no reason to kiss a woman if he's going to put a napkin between their lips. He said he uses the withdrawal method instead. He gives them a little dab here and then... out. Joe said back in the days when he was fighting, he would refrain from sex completely. Robin said that must be why he was so angry in the ring.
Joe was in to plug a book today so Howard talked to him about that. It's called ''Garden of Dreams: Madison Square Garden 125 Years.'' Joe didn't write the book but there are some stories and pictures of him in the book. Howard gave him a plug for that and spent a short time on that subject. Robin wondered how Joe felt when he went up against George Foreman. She wanted to know how it felt to be knocked out by Foreman. Joe jokingly said that it was a fluke so that's why he went in the ring the second time. Howard started to wrap up the interview but ended up talking to Joe for a few more minutes about Muhammad Ali before going to commercial break.
In the clip Howard had Gennifer Flowers come in to talk about Bill Clinton and what went on between them. Howard asked if she made up her name. She said it's her real name. She said it's French. Howard asked Gennifer if Bill rolled good joints. She said he didn't have time to do that when he was with her. Howard asked if she only goes with powerful men. She said she goes with the flow. She doesn't just go with powerful men.
Howard asked Gennifer if her breasts were real. She said they are. Howard asked about her comments about Hillary having a big ass. Gennifer said she did say that and she thinks that she could lose 15 pounds.
Howard asked how she met Bill Clinton. She said she was a reporter and she was covering a story about pay phone rates going up and she met him at the press conference. Howard asked her about taking her clothes off for Penthouse too. He said that was pretty wild because he thought she was much more conservative.
Howard asked Gennifer about who she's going to vote for. She said she voted for Ross Perot. Howard asked if this lunatic stuff is getting to her. Gennifer said she didn't have any reason not to believe him about what he said about that.
Howard asked Gennifer if she has videotape of herself making love to Bill. She said she never said she did. Howard asked how much she got paid to be in Penthouse. She wasn't talking. Howard asked when she last had sex. She said that it's been too long. Howard asked when it was. Gennifer didn't want to answer. She said that it's none of his business.
Howard asked Gennifer about meeting Bill and how things happened after that. He said she must have known he was married. She said she had met him before. Gennifer said she can't tell him all of this because it won't leave people with an incentive to read her article. Howard said that she can tell them some of the details.
Howard asked where they slept together. Gennifer said they were in her apartment. Howard asked if he stared kissing her right away. She said they actually just talked for a couple of hours. She told Howard to read the article. Howard asked if she talked to him about his wife. She said she didn't because she wants the focus on her. Howard asked if she slipped on something more comfortable. She said she did. She had a black kimono. Howard asked if she was joking about that. Gennifer said she wasn't joking.
Howard said he wants to know more about this and he's not sure why she's joking around. Gennifer wouldn't say if she was spanked by Bill. Howard asked if she's ever been spanked. She said she was spanked by her daddy. Howard asked if she was a bad girl. Howard said she's a sexy little minx.
Howard asked Gennifer if she takes the pill and if Bill didn't use a condom. She said that he didn't and he didn't withdraw. Howard asked if she thought about what she would do if she got pregnant. She said that he should read the article.
Howard asked Gennifer more about her night with Bill Clinton and tried to drag the story out of her. Gennifer wasn't answering all of his questions. Howard asked how many inches he is. Gennifer said he's not over 5 inches. Howard said he might be bigger than Clinton.
Howard said Jessica Hahn is on the phone. He said that she might be jealous of her. Howard asked what her problem was. Jessica said that she should tell them her real last name which is Lewis. She said she's 42 years old too. Howard asked what's wrong with that. Jessica said that she thinks Gennifer is full of crap. She said that she told her about how she stayed in the press when she asked her about that. Howard asked why she's upset. Jessica said she's not upset. Howard said she's always admitted what her age is. Gennifer said her real name is Flowers and it's not Lewis. She's not sure where she got that. Jessica said that she can't bullshit her. Howard told her to watch her language.
Howard said it sounds like Jessica is jealous. Jessica said she has no reason to get jealous. Howard said this is just another woman and she shouldn't be jealous. Howard asked why she's so upset. Jessica said that she's not but she wants Gennifer to tell the truth. Howard said he's not sure what the issue is because she hasn't denied her age and she claims her real last name is Flowers.
Howard asked Gennifer if she has a problem with her. Gennifer said she absolutely does not. Howard said that they're trying to talk to Gennifer about her life and he doesn't understand why Jessica is so upset. Howard said he had to get back to his interview. Jessica said she just can't believe the way they're handling this interview. Howard said she must be on her period today or something. Jessica said they're just letting things whisk by. Howard laughed. He said he has limited time there. He had to let her go.
Howard told Jessica to ask some questions. Jessica asked her how many times she saw Bill. Gennifer said ''no comment'' to that and to every other questions she asked. She told her to read the article. Jessica said she did and she didn't learn anything from it. Howard let Jessica go since she wasn't able to get anything out of her either.
Howard said they had a cat fight there. Gennifer said she wouldn't call it a cat fight. Howard said he had to take a short break and come back with Gennifer.
After an edited out break Howard came back and asked Gennifer if her mother slept with Eisenhower. Gennifer laughed and said it was a family tradition.
Howard asked Gennifer about how the secret got out. Gennifer said she tried to keep it a secret for as long as she could. She told Howard that she was in love with Bill and they had a respect for each other. She said they wanted to keep the relationship going over the years. She said that they didn't talk about marriage or anything like that though.
Howard asked more questions but Gennifer kept telling him to read the article. Howard said he noticed she has a nice ass in the layout in Penthouse. She said it's not bad for a 42 year old. Howard asked how big her breasts are. She said they're a 42-D. Howard asked about her singing career. She ended up singing for him.
Howard asked Gennifer about how long the love making lasted with Bill. She said it was 4 or 5 hours. Howard asked if he farted in bed. She said he didn't. Howard asked if he ever fantasized about other candidates's wives. Gennifer just laughed at questions like that. Robin asked her if she told Bill about the abortion she had. Gennifer told her to read the article.
Howard and Gennifer talked about why she did what she did. Gennifer said that she did it because she's a business woman. She said that they were friends and they had stopped the sexual part of their relationship. She said they stayed in touch though. Howard asked if he ever had skid marks in his pants. She said she never saw that.
Howard played some of Gennifer's album. He asked if this was from a night club. She said it was recorded in a studio. Howard asked if Scott the Engineer recorded it. He said she needs to get into some rock and roll. She said she's done rock and roll. She's been in the business for 22 years.
Howard said he thinks they got all of the stuff out of her they could. Howard wrapped up and asked if Gennifer had been reunited with Stuttering John. She said she hadn't. They brought John in and Gennifer said it was good to see him again. John asked her again if there was ever a threesome. She said he already asked her that. They wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Author With 3 Personalities, Jeanie Carpenter, Calls In. 10/27/1997. 7:30am
Howard said that he had this woman Jeanie Carpenter coming on the show. She has 3 distinct personalities. Howard said they'll be talking to all three of them today. He got her on the phone a short time later after Fred played some horror movie music. Howard asked Jeanie if she's a kook. She said that she's not cuckoo at all. She claims that everyone has three personalities and wanted to explain what she meant. Robin asked if she qualifies for the car pool lane with those three personalities. Howard didn't want her to keep goofing on her like that.
Howard asked Jeanie about what happened to her that made her like this. She said that she didn't really have the chance to develop when she was a child. She said that she wasn't molested or anything like that but her father was an alcoholic and he treated her very poorly. She said that they found their father passed out one time and that was a very traumatic event for her and her sister. She said that when she had a break down after all of that, she discovered all of her personalities.
Howard wanted to talk to the different personalities separately but she said that probably wouldn't happen. She said that they're all integrated. Howard asked Jeanie if she had different types of clothing and things like that. She said she absolutely did and some personalities wouldn't touch the other's clothes. She said that she's all integrated now so those separate personalities don't come out like that anymore. Howard asked her if she ever woke up with a sore ass after one of the personalities went out and had anal. She said she doesn't remember if it ever did.
One of Jeanie's personalities was called JJ and she was the promiscuous one who would go out and pick up guys. Jeanie said that everyone has similar personalities in them and that's what she writes about in her book ''Naked As We Stand.'' Howard said he was hoping that her personalities would all come out and start arguing with each other or something like that. Howard asked her how she wrote the book if she doesn't know what her other personalities did. She said she was able to do it years ago. She said they told her there was nothing physically wrong with her and it was all from not developing normally as a child.
Howard took a call from a woman who claims she's got 3 personalities as well. Howard asked her if one of them is a whore. She said ''oh fuck yeah'' to that. Howard asked her a few questions about that but he said he was getting confused by it all so he gave up on it and let both of the women go.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this is just an excuse for those women to go act like whores. Howard agreed with him. The caller also said that he thinks that anyone can write a book now that he's heard that woman. He also said he feels like going out and being a whore right now. Howard had to go to break after that.
Lena And Terri Show Off Their Very Long Fingernails. 10/27/03. 8:10am
Howard was ready to move on to these two women they had there today. They have really long fingernails for some reason so Howard wondered what that was all about. He said he just doesn't understand girls like this. Terri and Lena came in and showed off their extremely long fingernails. Robin said ''That's ridiculous!'' when she saw them. They had trouble putting their headphones on. Howard explained how their nails are about 10 inches long. Lena interrupted and said that they're actually about 20 inches long. She said that they do break sometimes but she is able to repair them. She said she owns a nail salon and has techniques for fixing them. She told Howard that she's able to do pretty much anything anyone else can do. Howard wondered how she can wipe though. Howard said even he gets some stink on his fingernails when he wipes so he can't imagine how she does it. Terri said that her nails are about 17 inches long. Lena said she can't pick up a coin from a floor if it drops but that's about the only thing she can't do. Howard thought it would be dangerous to even drive with them. Lena said she's never had a problem with that.
Howard figured it must hurt when they get the nails caught on something. She said they really don't hurt when they break. Lena said that she is even able to type with them and demonstrated how she can scratch her face and comb her hair. Howard didn't believe that she could do any of that stuff and challenged her to drink a cup of coffee. She showed how she can hold the cup but didn't show how she can drink from it. Gary came in and said that when Will interviewed Lena, she said that when her nails would break, they'd fall into the toilet and she'd have to fish them out. She claims that she doesn't have to do that with them at the length they're at now.
Lena seems to think that her nails could get her some work in show business. She said she's been offered movie stuff where she'd use her nails. Stuttering John came in and said that he wanted to see the women cut some paper with some scissors. Lena was able to do it but Terri had some trouble. Howard also wanted to see them pick their noses. Lena demonstrated it and showed how she can do it. Howard told the women that their nails were very unattractive. He also said he thinks that there are many other things to do in life other than growing long nails. Gary wanted them to try and get something out of his pocket. The women went over and tried to get out his money clip. They were able to do it but it took a little while. They said when you have nails that long, of course it's going to take longer.
Howard asked Terri what she does for a living. She said she sells vitamins from her home but she also goes around to shows and stuff and does appearances to show off her nails. Artie said he still didn't think that the women's backsides were clean. Lena told him that it is very clean though.
Howard said you can book these two to make an appearance by contacting Herbert Lasker at email@example.com. You can also see them at SexyLongNails.com. Howard started to wrap up the segment after that but then he found out that they have guys who follow them around the country. KC brought in Lena's husband and then the guy who follows them around. He said he came down to give them support because some people think it's kind of weird. He told Howard how he keeps in touch with Lena on the web and knew she was showing up this morning. He told Howard that there are web sites out there that feature women with long nails. He said that he does get some sexual pleasure from this stuff because he likes the back scratching and stuff. The guy told Howard that his fascination for the nails came from when he was a kid and saw a woman playing guitar with really long nails. He said he does consider himself a nail fetishist. While he was talking about all of that stuff Artie was laughing hysterically. He seemed to find it all pretty funny.
A listener called in and said that he thinks that these women are just a couple of nut jobs. The husband said that he gets some pleasure out of the whole thing as well. Howard asked the guy who came down to tell them what web site is the best for finding these women with long nails. He said that NailBytes.com is his favorite for finding new designs that he can paint on his girls and stuff. Howard wrapped up the segment shortly after that.
In the clip Howard was in character and had Fred on the phone playing the part of Liberace. Howard and Fred did their characters for a couple of minutes and had a discussion about Liberace getting married.
In the clip Gary called up an old girlfriend that Howard had when he was a kid. Gary got her on the line and Howard spoke to Debbie. Howard asked how she was doing. Debbie said she was fine. She said that Howard is the only one from camp Welmet who she knows the whereabouts of. Howard said that she never really gave him the time of day back then. Howard said that she looked like Connie Sellecca back then. Debbie said she was a very innocent girl back then. Howard said he just wanted to tell her that he's famous now. He asked if she's married. She said she is married and she has a 7 year old boy.
Howard asked Gary what time Senator D'Amato was coming in tomorrow. He was just bragging. Debbie said her husband is a computer programmer. Howard laughed and asked what kind of money he makes. She said he doesn't make as much as Howard does. Howard told her to call him when he makes 5 figures. She said he does just fine.
Debbie said she's been married for 11 years and with him for 17. Howard said she used to have a great body. She said she'd like to talk to him off the air. Howard said he'd like to see what she looks like now. She said she could send some pictures.
Howard let Debbie go a short time later. He got all worked up because so many women tell him he has great eyes. Howard said he has a great personality too. He said he would have died for that girl back then if she had just looked at him. Howard said a bunch of guys would do what they could to get her attention. He said the girls wouldn't look at him though. He said he's getting his revenge now though. He said he's famous and just beat Mark and Brian. He said he has to bang his head against the wall now.
Howard said he hasn't heard from any of Fred's old girlfriend. Fred said that's because they're all buried. They went to break after that.
Retarded Spider Man And Scores Discussion. 10/27/03. 6:40am
Howard got back to his weekend discussion. He talked about going to Scores on Saturday. He said he likes the way they've remodeled the place. He also talked about how Ronnie doesn't really work there and it's all a goof. They also got Ronnie a ScoresMan cape as a goof. Howard said that Ronnie is getting a lot of e-mail at his ScoresMan923 email account. Ronnie said he had 176 e-mails. Howard said he would have gotten more if he'd said that he was ScoresMan923@aol.com. Howard went on to talk about how some of the guys at Scores were telling him that Ronnie really doesn't work there. Ronnie asked Howard if he had a good time at the party as if he had something to do with the whole thing. Ronnie got really defensive and started yelling at him. Both Howard and Robin were goofing on him because it sounded like he had something to do with the way it went.
Howard said that Dominic Barbara ran up on stage and started dancing and got taken off by the bouncers. Howard said that you're not allowed to touch the girls so he was taken down and thrown off immediately. Howard said he got to the party before Ronnie even got there. Ronnie was stuck in his car on a bridge because of a car accident. Dominic did a few things at the club that upset some people. Stuttering John was talking about how Dominic was telling some woman at the club that she'd have to give him oral to meet him but first she'd have to give John oral. John said he got so uncomfortable that he had to walk away. Howard wondered why Dominic has to drop his name with that stuff because it pisses him off. Howard said he didn't want Dominic there at all because of stuff like that. Howard said that Dominic doesn't know anyone's name on the show even though he's been around it for years. Howard said he's used his name to get into restaurants and stuff like that. He said every minute he's busy using his name.
Howard said he's ready to dump Dominic as a friend. Robin said he's done that in the past and he always ends up being friends with him again. Howard asked Gary if it was a good idea or not to dump him. Gary said it seems like he's not happy with Dominic being a friend. Howard said he's not happy with him. Howard said he's going to cut him off but Robin said she's heard that in the past. No one is taking him seriously. Howard went on to talk about how drunk he got at the party. The guys also talked about the food they had there and how good that was.
They also talked about how Ronnie is now 54 years old. Howard said he heard he was only 53 but Ronnie didn't know where he got that from. Howard said he went home around 1:30 in the morning. When he got home Dominic was standing outside of his building. No one could believe that. Gary said it's like he has a stalker. Howard said everything he does, Dominic gets in on it. Gary said he wouldn't be surprised if Dominic tried to get his son to marry Howard's daughter. Howard said he did hook him up with his niece one time but things didn't work out. Howard said even after all of that he still enjoyed his night. Ronnie told Howard that Dominic was out of control at that party but he was an invited guest.
Dominic Barbara called in and denied some of the stuff Stuttering John was saying. John called Jason in to talk about it because he was a witness. Dominic also said that he thinks he looks thin now. He said he's down to 222 pounds. Dominic couldn't believe that Howard didn't want to stay friends with him so he ended up hanging up on him before Howard could hang up on him. Howard said that Dominic should talk about the other guys on the show once in a while instead of using his name all the time. Robin said she knows that Howard will be talking about having hung out with Dominic by next weekend. Howard said she's probably right about that.
A listener called in and asked Artie what he liked best, the food, the girls or the drinks at Scores. Artie said the food was fantastic and the drinks would probably be next before the girls. Howard goofed on Artie eating Dippin' Dots at the Yankee game for a couple of minutes.
Dominic called back in to talk about how he thinks he has to break things off with Howard. Howard seemed to think that he wanted to go on vacation in the same place that he's going this winter. Dominic said that he's not going to that place and he's got other plans. Gary asked him if he would drop those plans tomorrow if Howard invited him to go with him. Dominic said ''pre-today'' he probably would have dropped that to go with him. The woman who asked to meet Howard the other night called in and said that she just said she'd give Howard oral because she thought she'd get to meet him. She was also calling in to say how disgusting Dominic is. She called him a complete slob. Howard said he's really a nice guy. She said a few things that got the delay button hit so we didn't hear some of her comments. Ronnie told her that if she'd gotten there a little earlier, she would have been able to meet Howard. Howard had to take a break shortly after that. Ronnie wanted to thank some people from Scores but Howard told him to just write a note instead of doing it on the air.
In the clip Howard was talking about how hot Jenna Jameson was and how she could be a high paid fashion model. Howard asked if she has a messed up story. Howard asked if she had her breasts done. She said she did. Howard asked how tall she is. She's only 5'4'' tall. Howard said she really didn't have to do porno. He said he sees some women in porn who are so hot and he can't figure out why they do it. Jenna said she did do some magazine stuff for a few years.
Howard asked Robin where she was at. She had been in the bathroom hiding from all of the people up there. Howard figured she was hiding from the 20/20 cameras. Robin said it's very tough to be up there with so many people around. Gary came in and told a story about Robin hiding from a guest once. He said he looked all over the place for her and found her hiding behind a door. Howard asked if Robin is regressing. He said she might need to get therapy again.
Howard asked Robin to check out Jenna's pictures and asked if she looks like a model. Robin said she does. Howard said she must have had a screwed up childhood. Jenna said she really didn't. She said her dad was a cop so maybe it's a rebellious thing. She said she didn't have a lot of supervision and they weren't strict at all. Howard asked if she had sex a lot in high school. Jenna said she made sure she went to other schools to have sex so she'd have a good reputation there at her school.
Howard said he'd have her make love to him 3 times a week if he was with her. He said that he could pay her 50 grand a week. Gary told Howard he knows how much he loves wild women. He said she has her bellybutton pierced and a tattoo on the back of her neck. Howard said that's the ugliest tattoo he's ever seen. He said she must really be a psycho. Howard said he loves it.
Howard asked Jenna about her breasts and why she got them blown up. She said she was big before but she wanted them really big. She said that she was a 34-C but she had them made bigger.
Robin asked Jenna when she got into film. She said that she started stripping when she was under age. She had sex at 15 and a half. She said she was going to try and stay a virgin but she was doing other things with guys. Jenna said she's very careful with the guys she's with. She said she started doing stuff around the age of 13. Howard asked if she was using her mouth. She said that's what it was. Howard asked if the teachers came on to her. Jenna said they did. She said that the women teachers were giving her bad grades but the guys would give her good grades.
Howard asked Jenna if she would go on vacation with him. She said she would. Howard said he believes it because she's in porno and she can't be that picky.
Howard asked Jenna about how much money she can make doing porn. Jenna was saying that it's much lower than he thought. Jenna said she gets paid monthly and she's very well taken care of. She said she was just given a Corvette as a gift. Howard asked what kind of money she can make. She said it's over $150,000 a year.
Howard asked if he could see Jenna's boobs. She wasn't wearing a bra. Jenna showed them to him. Howard said he wants to date her so bad. He said he'd pay her to date him. Howard said he wants her so bad. Howard said he'd love to just go out with her and be seen with her at parties. Howard said that would be so much fun. Howard said they're going to Scores so she should come along.
Howard asked Jenna if she likes women. Jenna said she started with women. She said she's more into guys now though. Howard asked how old she was when she started. She said she was about 12 and it was with the co-captain of the cheer leading team. Jenna said that they were together all the time and she said she didn't know how to kiss guys. She said that she thought she was gay or something. Howard said she was.
Howard asked if he could see her panties. Jenna showed him. Howard said he didn't need to go to Scores. He just wanted to go home with her. Howard asked if she's hit on all the time. Jenna said guys don't come up to her.
Howard asked if the guys got wood. Howard said he did. Jackie said he already had wood. Fred said it was getting tight in his pockets. Howard said he goes friggin nuts when he sees new panties. Robin said that was interesting to know. Howard said he goes crazy. He said she was wearing purple g-string panties.
Howard asked Jenna why she's not modeling. Jenna said she's just having a good time. Howard asked how she and this other girl got into it the first time. Jenna said that they were sleeping over and talking about boys and she said she had never kissed a boy. They were kind of giggling and the other girl suggested that they try kissing each other. Jenna said as they got older it progressed. She said they did everything eventually. Howard said he was sick hearing this. He said he's missing out on all of the fun.
Howard asked Jenna how she got into porno. She said she was 17 and she was stripping. She got a phony ID and the manager knew she'd make a lot of money. She said the manager knew people from magazines and she wanted to put her into Penthouse and Hustler and things. She said she'll be in next month's Penthouse. Howard said Robin looked puzzled. Robin said that she was confused and maybe it'll clear up.
Jenna told Howard that she was approached by Vivid and Wicked pictures and she liked Wicked better. Howard laughed. She said there really is a difference.
Howard asked Jenna if she's ever done animals. She said she's not into that. Howard asked if she likes all three inputs. Jenna said that she saves anal for her boyfriends.
Howard asked what Jenna was promoting. She said she has a new movie. Howard said he wants to see it. She said he should. Howard said something must have gone wrong in her childhood. He said that they did something wrong. Jenna said her dad thinks it's great that she's in porn. She said her mom doesn't mind either. Howard said he wishes his parents would get off his back. His mother doesn't even want him to get an earring.
Howard asked to see Jenna's ass before she leaves. Jenna was fine with that so she showed him that too. Howard said she has all the things that turn guys on. Howard said she had a tattoo on her ass that said heartbreaker. Howard said she really is a heart breaker.
Jenna told Howard that she had two guys on film and now she wants to do it at home. Jenna said she's single right now because it's hard to meet guys. Howard said he can imagine having her in the neighborhood and what that would be like. He said she had better get out before he punches Jackie in the face.
Howard asked Jenna if she's a good actress. Howard said he wants to do a scene with her. Jenna said she can do that. Howard said he didn't see her movie yet. He wondered why Gary didn't give them to him. Howard wrapped up with her a short time later.
In this clip Grandpa Al Lewis was visiting and sitting in for the news. Grandpa was on fire right away and rambling a bit.
Howard said that the Munsters was one of the best TV shows of all time in his book. While he was talking to Grandpa, Butch Patrick dropped in. He played Eddie Munster.
Grandpa told Howard that he fathered Eddie Munster with his daughter. Grandpa said he dropped it into a test tube and out came Eddie Munster. Howard said he had to get to a commercial. He told Butch to give up on trying to get a word in today.
Howard tried to do a live commercial but Grandpa kept interrupting. Grandpa said someone dropped a white pill into his coffee. Howard asked Butch about what he's doing these days. Butch said he's working.
Howard got through his commercial finally and then got back to Butch. Howard said he had to talk about Grandpa having a pasta sauce that's coming out. Grandpa said he has a restaurant and he'll be down there this week. Howard said he thought it went out of business. grandpa said it's still open. He said it's open 7 days a week.
Grandpa was talking about a remake of The Munsters and how they have to have the originals if they do that. Howard said he's right about that. He said they can't remake a show like that without them. Howard told Butch to quiet down over there. Butch wasn't saying a word. Grandpa said that's the way he was on the set of the show too.
Howard asked Robin to do some news but he asked Butch some questions. Howard asked if he has to work. Butch said he doesn't have to but he enjoys it. He started coughing when Grandpa lit up a cigar. Howard told him to put that out.
Robin said that the stock market took a plunge yesterday. Grandpa asked if that's why they had to interrupt their conversation. Robin said they do have to inform people. Robin said they're seeing some of the same kind of things that happened in the 1929 crash. Grandpa kept interrupting. Howard said he wants to kick Grandpa in the groin even though he was taught to respect his elders.
Robin said there was a guy in Florida who open fire on his stock broker. Robin said the guy killed one and wounded another and then shot himself. Howard said if he'd probably do the same thing if he lost millions.
Robin tried to read through some more news but Grandpa kept interrupting. Robin read one story of a kid that got stuck in a well. Howard said that kid was probably trying to get away from Grandpa to get some peace and quiet.
After an edited out break Howard said that Grandpa was burning a hole in the microphone. He said they're going to blow up. Howard had Robin get back to her news and reminded everyone that Butch and Grandpa were in.
Robin read through a bunch of stories and Grandpa commented on a few here and there. Butch wasn't saying much of anything.
Robin read about a new AIDS test that was created and that led to Howard asking Grandpa if he had ever been with men. Howard said he lives down in the Village so he must know what he's talking about. Robin described the test and how it works. Howard said that must be some test. Robin wondered how you test yourself and exit gracefully if you come up positive.
Robin went through some more stories and wrapped up. Howard said he was going to take some phone calls and talk more to Grandpa and Butch.
After an edited out break Howard asked Butch what he's been up to. Butch said he got caught up in drugs and alcohol for a while. He said he should have saved his money until he was 21 but he ended up getting it at about 19. He said he had spent most of it by 21. Butch said he ended up working some jobs and worked for his dad. He said that he's been working lately and he's written this book that got a lot of response. Howard asked what kind of drugs he was doing. Butch said he was going to take the fifth on that. Howard asked if that was a fifth of vodka.
Howard asked Butch if he has to work. Butch said he does tours and he wouldn't call it work. He said he goes to schools and talks to kids about different techniques and stuff. He said he has a good time doing it.
Howard said Butch is throwing a big party for himself. Butch gave some details about that and even gave Grandpa a plug for a party he had going on. Howard said that Grandpa should have been there for Butch when he was spending all of his money. Grandpa said he wanted nothing to do with it.
Grandpa said that he put his money into SBC. Robin said that he's probably saying that he didn't pay taxes. Grandpa told her to be quiet. He told the fans at the IRS to forget what he just said.
Howard asked Grandpa about how he got into the restaurant business and who he teamed up with. Grandpa told Howard some details about that and said that he has a following and he gets people to come to the restaurant.
Grandpa tried to light his cigar but ended up lighting his nose on fire. Howard said it was literally his nose that was on fire.
Howard asked Grandpa about the food at the restaurant and if it's any good. Grandpa said it's the best Italian food in New York City. Howard said it's called Grandpa Al Lewis' and it's in the Village. Howard asked if they give a massage with the food there. Grandpa said he had gone too far. Howard said it was Robin who was asking.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked him not to put Grandpa and Gilbert Gottfried on the same show. Howard said he thinks that would be great. He asked Grandpa if he would do that. Grandpa said he would. Howard said that Butch wasn't able to get a word in. He asked if he was having a good time. butch just laughed. Howard asked when he lost his virginity. Butch said it was at 14. Howard said that's got to be because he was on TV. Howard tried to find out who he banged but Butch wasn't telling him exactly who it was. He gave him some hints. Howard spent a couple of minutes trying to figure it out. grandpa said he couldn't tell him who it was.
Butch said she's 30 now and she has blonde hair. He said that she also worked with him on a Wayne Newton movie. Howard and Robin took some guesses but they weren't getting it right. Howard took some calls and let some callers guess. They weren't having any luck either.
One woman called in and said that she's had a crush on Butch for a long time. She asked him what he's been doing lately. Howard told her to get out of here and hung up on her.
Howard gave Butch some plugs for his upcoming party. Howard asked if he's ever been married. Butch said he hasn't. Howard said maybe he'll reveal who he slept with at this party. Howard said he can't believe that they weren't able to figure it out. They wrapped up a short time later.
Stephen Stills Performs Live. 10/27/09. 8:40am
After the break we heard a prank call Sal made to an Indian grocery store giving them the name Iama Coksucka. Fred played Billy Joel's ''Downeaster Alexa'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back after the song and said it was a big day for him. He said there is no bigger Stephen Stills fan than him. He was trying to speak but Stills was tuning his guitar. Stephen wasn't able to hear him on his headphones. Howard asked Scott what was going on.
Howard said he had Scott set that up for him and he didn't get it right. Howard tried to talk to Stephen but he kept saying he couldn't hear him. Fred told him to use the megaphone. Howard got on the megaphone and told Stephen he wanted to hang himself. Stephen told him to just get a new guy.
Howard asked Scott what was going on. Scott was busy trying to get things set up but Howard said he has only himself to blame for this. Howard said maybe it's because he doesn't really have the headphones on. Howard said this is the most unprofessional organization.
They finally got the headphones working so Howard asked Scott what happens there. Scott said that they had them working earlier.
Howard asked Stephen some questions but he said he had trouble hearing because he has hearing said. He said that he's had bad hearing since he was a kid. Howard asked him if his parents were upset that he was into music. Stephen said they weren't at all.
Howard said Stephen must have gotten a lot of girls when he was young. Stephen said that wasn't the case. He said he didn't get a lot of girls. Howard asked if he locked himself in his room and just played music. Stephen said he was painfully shy. He said that he had sisters and they were loud and he just stayed quiet.
Howard asked Stephen if he was going to perform Sweet Judy Blue Eyes this morning. He said he wasn't because it was too early and the notes were too high.
Howard asked Stephen how songs appear to him. Stephen said he doesn't know, they just show up. He said these days he'll just start typing and the lyrics will come to him and then he'll put the music down. Howard asked how long it can take to write something like Sweet Judy Blue Eyes. Stephen said that one didn't take but a week or so.
Howard asked if he just brought it to the other guys and said he wanted to play them. Stephen said he had demos that he's turned into an album now. He had an autographed copy for Howard this morning.
Howard said he ranks Stephen in the top 10 guitar players of all time but he doesn't get that credit. Stephen said that he works with two of the biggest camera hogs in the business.
Stephen said that he used to be the leader of the group but when David Crosby got sober that stopped . Howard asked when he became a rock star. Stephen said when his confidence came up that came around. Howard said that Stephen has 7 kids and he has 3 different wives for those kids. Stephen said that the oldest one is 38 and the youngest is 5. He said he's close with all of them. He said all of his wives are still friends with him.
Howard asked Stephen about his divorces and how he worked all of those out. Stephen said that you have to avoid the lawyers and just learn the law for yourself. He said that he learned that the laws were based on statutes in the 1870s so you can talk reason to people if you tell them that. He said he had lawyers that he used but he was able to hold on to his money. Stephen said that none of them are deprived though.
Howard said that Stephen was trying to sell the Monkees some songs but they wanted to own all of them. Stephen said that he walked away when they said that.
Howard asked Stephen about the way the music business is these days. He said that it's kind of sad because the quality of the music in an MP3 is only about 10 percent of what it would be on a vinyl record. He said that it would also be better to keep people in business if they only sold records in stores. Stephen said he asked his daughter about it and everyone is downloading now.
Howard asked Stephen about working with Neil Young. Stephen said that they had a hard time with him at times. He said that they tried but Neil wanted to do what he wanted to do. He said that Neil sells out places that he can't sell out and it must be the luck of the draw.
Howard said that Stephen is a better song writer than the other guys in the band. Stephen said that he doesn't feel that way. He said he doesn't like to say things like that.
Howard asked Stephen about how he has written songs for the band that were turned down. Stephen said he has done that and then he takes them out and turns them into solo number one hits. Howard said ''Love the One You're With'' is an example of that. Stephen said that's not one of his favorites but it's a good one for Howard to bring up.
Howard asked Stephen how he met Jimi Hendrix. He said he met him when he was going out on tour with the Monkees. He said that he and Jimi went out to his house and played for a couple of days. Howard read that Jimi wanted him in his band but his manger didn't tell him about it. Stephen said that he and Jimi had been thinking about that and they didn't pass on the message to him. He said that was in the days when he was with CSN. He said he would have gone to that band if he had known about it.
Howard asked Stephen about the song ''White Nigger'' that he and Jimi collaborated on. Stephen said that they wrote the song together and it was about racism.
Howard said he thinks that when they recorded ''Tin Soldier's and Nixon's Coming'' he loved it. He said that Stephen must have worked on the song. He said he played on it and he thought that it needed another verse but they didn't think it did. Howard asked if he practices guitar on a daily basis. Stephen was plucking the guitar the whole time during the interview so he said he was doing that to distract himself from Howard's questions.
Howard asked Stephen who influenced him. Stephen said it was John Lee Hooker. He said he was living in Tampa, Florida and he would have to drive 100 miles to get to a record store. Howard asked if anything intimidates him. Stephen said that being in the studio with Howard was intimidating to him. He didn't know what was going to come from this loose cannon.
Howard asked Stephen if he was heavily into drugs back in the day. Stephen said that he never got himself into trouble but he's not sure what the definition of heavily was. He said that he had some problems with booze back in the 1980s. He said he would talk very loud when he was drinking. Howard asked if he would get into fights while drinking. He said he had a few.
Howard asked Stephen about the young kids coming up and who he likes. He said he likes Brandy Chandlis. He said he likes Snow Patrol too. Stephen said he likes a lot of the people who are turning back to folk music. Howard said there aren't people harmonizing like Crosby Stills and Nash did. Stephen said that it's something that's coming back.
Howard read that Stephen beat prostate cancer. Stephen said that he had an operation to get rid of it. Stephen said they go in through your belly button and they cut the whole thing out of there. Howard asked if he can get it up. He said he can but it takes a while but it does come back. Howard said that he has a few friends who lose their prostate and they can't get it up. Stephen said that it all depends on your wife helping out. He said his wife is 42 and she can make it happen.
Howard asked Stephen if he can cum with the prostate gone. Stephen said that you can but it's a different kind of cum. Howard wanted him to get into details but Stephen wasn't interested. He said that it takes about 18 months before it comes back. He said that it wakes up a little bit at a time. He said that it's better than being dead.
Howard said that Stephen has a new CD and DVD out now. He asked him to play something for them. Stephen broke into the Allman Brothers' ''Midnight Rider'' after that.
After the song Howard asked what the connection was there. Stephen said that one of the guys was his buddy. He said that they used to play together. Howard asked if he ever banged Bonnie Raitt. Stephen said no and said that Howard is so vulgar and rude. Robin told him he's been getting away with that for many years.
Howard asked if he ever had any famous women. Stephen said he refused to answer on the grounds of protecting their dignity.
Howard gave Stephen some plugs for his album ''Pieces'' and asked him to play some of his single ''Treetop Flyer'' since that's the song that's out. Howard asked if he picks the song or does the record company. Stephen said he doesn't pick the songs. He said he just performs the songs.
Stephen played ''Treetop Flyer'' for the guys. After playing that Howard said he has to learn to play the guitar. Stephen said you need about 10,000 hours of practice to play like that. Howard said that he was born into the right family too though.
Howard asked Stephen if his father was a tough guy. Stephen said he was tough but it was just his tone of voice and not beatings or anything. He said that his mother was harsh with him. Stephen changed subjects and asked if he wet his bed. Howard said of course he did.
Howard asked Stephen if he's upset that he didn't get to collaborate with Jimi Hendrix. He said that is one of the things that upsets him. Howard told him that he had tickets to go see him but he didn't get to go. He said that a lot of guys worshiped Jimi and his guitar playing.
Howard asked Stephen if his father got to see his great success. He said that he did. Stephen said that he may have worried about it too much though. He said that he misses his dad but Howard didn't think he was sincere about it. Stephen said that he didn't want to talk about it because he's blowing material for his book.
Howard asked Stephen how he plays ''Love the One You're With.'' He showed him how he plays but Howard told him he was doing it wrong. Howard said he can play it but it's much differently. Stephen performed a little bit of the song but cut himself off saying that's the reason he doesn't play so early in the morning. Howard told him he was great and he can see that he wants to wrap up so he was going to let him go.
Howard asked how much it would cost him to get him to show up at his house to perform. He said it would be about a million but only because he knows what Howard is worth. Howard said he saw Fleetwood Mac playing at a guy's house this summer in the Hamptons.
Howard asked Stephen what the biggest thing he ever bought was. He said it was a 1964 Stratocaster guitar... and a Ferrari. Howard said he can't tell him what it meant for him to be there today. Howard said he was blown out by his talent and thanked him for the million hours of listening he's given to him. Stephen said that Howard is a very nice guy and he's full of shit trying to make people think he's not. Howard gave Stephen some more plugs and went to break a short time later.
This Date in Howard History was over around 11:50am.
This week's Best of the Week was over around 10:10am.