For the week of 11/22/2021 to 11/26/2021

• Live Thanksgiving Week. 11/22/21. 7:00am
  Howard started the show talking about how you're saying you can't believe they're on the air on Thanksgiving week. He said he'll tell you how that came about. He said it has to do with the fans. He said this is his gift to the fans. It's the gift of ''us'' and they wanted to make sure they did a show Thanksgiving week. He said most radio people bail out on this week. He said he said this was bullshit and the audience is good to them so they have to be good back to them.

  Robin said something that Howard didn't hear. He said she has to turn herself up. Robin said she has no control over that. Howard said yes she does. Robin said they used to make him stay home but he insisted on it. Howard said they'll be there today and tomorrow. He said everyone should be there Thanksgiving week. He said they love everyone so much that they have to be there.

  Howard said the guy who used to run Sirius, Jim Meyer, is on the phone. He took his call and fake Jim told Howard what he's up to at a party in Antigua. He was talking about how they're celebrating Howard down there. Howard said that's straight from the Limbo contest in Antigua.

  Howard took a call from Jennifer Witz who runs the company now. Fake Jennifer told Howard he's a great role model for this company. Howard said a lot of radio guys take off this week but not him. Jennifer said that Andy Cohen won't get anything from her until he works New Years eve and New Years day for her. She said she's missing her daughter's birthday right now because she's at work. Howard said he's with her and that's why he's working this week. He thanked her for that.

  Howard said that woman is a motivater. Robin said at least the brass are happy. Howard said you have to build trust with the audience. He said he wanted to be there. Robin said it's very important this year since so many people refused to go back to work.

  Howard said on the phone he has a person on the phone who is inspired by their work ethic and he works in a sweat shop. Howard took the call and fake Timmy said he's working very hard there. Howard asked what he makes. Timmy said he builds iPhones and things. Howard bailed on that call pretty quick.

• Bad Netflix Movies, Bobo's 9/11 Story And More. 11/22/21. 7:10am
  Howard said that alarm woke him up and it pissed him off. He said he went to bed last night and put the TV on. He said Beth can fall asleep with it on. He said he can't. He said he had something on last night on Netflix. He said he loves sappy movies but they watched one that was really bad. He said it was something so bad he should give it out so people can avoid it. He said he loves Joey King movies. He said that he's a sap for those movies. He said they're terrible but he loves them. He said that this movie was really bad. He said he thinks it was called ''Love Always.'' He said he should check with Beth to see if that's right.

  Howard said there was a newcomer in the movie. He said he doesn't know who anyone is now. He said this girl was cute in the movie. He said he thought he'd like it. He said it was so drawn out and boring though. He said this girl gets catfished. He said she's dating online and she meets up with this dude at his home. He said he's a super nerdy Asian boy and she wonders what the fuck. He said it's actually called ''Love Hard.'' He said he saw a half hour of this movie and wanted to bail but hey stuck with it. He said they watched the whole thing. He said it was so bad though. He said shame on Netflix for putting that out. He said they suckered him on this one.

  Howard said this girl is Nina Dobrev. He said things are so hit or miss on Netflix. Robin said she figured he'd be on the Hallmark channel. Howard said Beth won't let him watch those. He said she likes to see them herself alone. He said there's something up there. He said he'd like to watch that stuff but she doesn't want him involved. He said it's like it's her thing. He said he's not sure what's going on there.

  Howard said he was going to bed last night and he was turning off the TV and the lights and it was 9:12pm. He said he looks at the clock and he thinks about Bobo. He said that whole 9/11 and 9/12 thing. He said his head is on the pillow and he's thinking about Bobo. He said that's the joke there. He said it was a weird story about his brother. He said it turns out his brother was in California and it wasn't 9/11 when he died. He said that Bobo was making it out like his brother died on 9/11. Robin said he was going to different events based on that. She said they would give him sympathy.

  Howard played some audio of Bobo telling them about losing his brother on 9/11 but it turned out it was 9/12. He said he thinks his brother died because he had a heart attack from what happened that day. Howard said Bobo used to wear that 9/11 jacket like he was a first responder. Robin said it was crazy.

  Howard said Bobo is on the phone. He picked up and said he's crazy. Bobo said he wants to clarify. Howard said he has to tell the truth. Bobo said he gave the impression but he said he always used the word ''indirectly.'' Robin said he never used that word.

  Bobo said one of the daughters worked for a firm on Long Island and that day she didn't go into work and his brother wasn't able to get in touch with her. He said he was so traumatized by this that he had a heart attack. He said that's what he was talking about. He said it was indirect. Howard said Bobo was wearing those patches and stuff and it was unbelievable. He said he's not going around all day saying ''indirectly.'' He said he never said that.

  Bobo said that the MTA police gave him a bunch of patches because they knew him. He said he did take those patches off since then.

  Howard said Bobo never said indirectly. He said he only said it when people would quiz him. He said that he didn't lose his brother on 9/11.

  Howard said he was gigging in his sleep thinking about Bobo last night. He said he was seeing 9:12 and thinking of Bobo. Robin said he's making Bobo's day talking about that. Howard said the thought he was having was that this guy loves attention no matter where it comes from.

• Visiting Ben And Ray. 11/22/21. 7:20am
  Howard said he went to see his mom this weekend. He said that's a whole other story. He said it's depressing to see them so old. He said his mother gets so emotional. He said that they keep the shades down in their apartment. He said that it's always dark and dingy in there. Robin said it's a sign of depression. Robin said old people get depressed and they don't care about doing the usual things like that. She said they just sit in the dark. Howard said he was wondering if someone had died. He said they're either sitting shiva or they're turning into vampires. He said he's afraid to ask his mother about it. He said it opens a whole can of worms.

  Howard said he will ask his mother about it and she tells him not to bother her. He said he calls her and tells her what's happening and he has to yell at her on the phone. He said she hears everything Beth says but she can't hear him. He said she's constantly asking ''what?'' when he talks to her.

  Howard said he goes over to see how his mother is doing. He said his dad had a stroke years ago so he doesn't talk much now. He said he has to talk to his mom and let her talk. He said it seems like all roads lead to misery with them. He said that he'll ask about what they had for lunch and his mother will tell him how horrible it was. He said he's afraid to bring anything up.

  Howard said he went to check up on his dad and he seemed with it. He said he has had multiple strokes. He said he asks if he still reads the newspaper and he mumbles something. He said he feels like he's bothering him. He said he wants to see if it's all there and asks about that stuff. He said his dad says he does read it and he'll ask if he heard about ''that guy'' and he knows what he's talking about. He said he'll ask if he's talking about Rittenhouse and his dad says yes. He said they'll talk about that kind of thing.

  Howard said he'll probably end up like his dad. He said he's trying to avoid having a stroke by taking baby aspirin. He said that some day he'll be mumbling and grunting like that. He said his old man did know about Rittenhouse and all of that. He said he thinks he wasn't too pleased with the verdict. Robin said not too many people were. He said he's not sure how he got off without a gun charge at all. Howard said he's not sure how he got that weapon. Robin said he didn't, someone else did. Howard said he's not sure what's going on there. He said that kid put the crocodile tears on. Robin said she was shocked people bought that.

  Howard said they say that when you shoot someone you don't say anything to the cops. He said if you have to say something you just say that you just wanted him to stop. He said they train you to say that. He said they tell you to say you just wanted him to stop. He said in other words it's self defense. He said he's a big supporter of the second amendment and you should have a gun in the house. Robin said you don't leave your home and go looking for trouble. Howard said it's a crazy story. Robin said it's all nuts. Howard said over on FOX News they're praising him as a hero. Robin said they did that throughout the trial. Howard said in this country you have to go with the jury system we have.

  Howard said he didn't mean to get off of the other thing. He said his father knew all about this. He said that judge was something else too. He said it was crazy. He said his father knew the story. He said he didn't know the guy's name but he knew the story.

  Robin said this is the stuff that his father wanted to talk to him about at the age of 7. Howard said that's right. He said now he's talking to his dad like he's him at 7. He said he doesn't yell at his dad though. He said he's a good dude to his father now that he's at his most vulnerable. He said he's very tender with him.

  Howard said his dad had to go to the E.R. for some leg pain. He said he thought he was checking out. He said the guy is 98 years old now. He said it turned out he just had a cramp. He said he had to go see what was going on there. He said it's not a relaxed visit. He said he's like the FBI masking questions and things. He said if he asks his mom some questions she gets all upset. He said she tells him about all of her problems and how she's doing the best she can.

  Howard said they brought over some cookies and his mom will eat them. He said you never know with his parents though. He said Beth wanted to bring some cookies and she knows his mom. He said that his mom loves Beth. He said she thinks she's like an angel that fell out of heaven. He said that his mom tells him how she's a good judge of people and that Beth is some giver. She said she's a giver too. He did his impression of her telling him all of this.

  Howard said he told Beth not to bring cookies. He said it could have gone all wrong. He did an impression of his mother telling him that they can't eat the cookies. He had her telling him what they can eat and what they can't eat. He had Ray telling him that she and Ben can't eat all of these cookies. He said it could go that way. He said you never know. He said he could get yelled at for the dumbest shit. He said this time his mom was on good behavior and was very happy about the cookies. He said she told him that she had eaten one that night. He said this is what he's up to.

  Howard said people say it must be fun to be Howard Stern. He said they want to spend a day in his shoes. He said be happy in your own shoes. He said he doesn't wear socks, they smell.

  Howard said he's being abused by the elderly. He said he gets yelled at. He said he used to yell at his parents as a kid. He said he would tell them that he'd put them in an old age home and make them eat dog food. He said he never did that. He said he's a dutiful son and never did that to them. He said he keeps the whole boat floating. He said his dad said that he wanted to hold on to his money in case something happens to Howard. Howard said he left money for them in case he drops dead. He said that his dad thinks he can't bank on him. He said it's strange.

  Howard said Beth said to him that if that was the last conversation he had with his father is he satisfied. He said his dad doesn't want a big emotional conversation. He said he's never going to turn to him and say he loves him. Robin said in his current condition it's not easy to do. Howard said he's not sure what she's expecting. He said they still have the COVID thing going on too so they keep their distance. He said he did hug his mother though. He said there are still people who won't wear masks.

  Howard said his mom told a story about him. He said he was a little boy and his sister would be babysitting him and she'd come home and find notes that he left for her all over the house. He said he didn't know he did that. He said she didn't remember what they said but there were notes. He said she had no idea what they were though.

  Robin said he was a strange little boy. Howard said how dare you. He said he has to get Greta Thunberg in there to say ''How dare you.'' It took a few seconds before fake Greta got on and said ''how dare you'' to Robin. Howard spent a little time talking to fake Greta about her life and found out she learned about planet change at the age of 6 months.

  Howard thanked Greta for coming. He closed the door on her. Howard said she's the best.

  Howard said there's no joy in her life. He said she reminds him of Jor-El from Krypton. He said she's yelling and screaming and no one is listening. Robin wondered if she's building a spaceship. Howard asked her. He opened the door again and asked if she's building a spaceship. Greta said she would never do such a thing. She said she has no time for that. Howard closed the door on her again. Howard asked Greta a few questions opening and closing the door on her.

• Howard's Weekend Of Painting, TV And More. 11/22/21. 7:40am
  Howard said he wanted to paint this weekend. He said he has a big painting he's working on. He said it's a view of Central Park. He said he thinks it's pretty good but it takes lots of hours to do. He said it's a lot of different colors and it takes forever just to do one keystone. He said he's painting and painting and listening to music. He said he was even thinking about listening to some podcasts. He said everyone seems to be into it but he thinks it's bullshit. He said that he might listen though. He said he's open minded.

  Howard said he tried watching the American Music Awards last night. He said it was bad. He said he didn't watch the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. He said he forgot about that. He said he was watching I Am Jazz but that was a recap show. He said he and Beth watched 1000 Pound Sisters. He said the one big fat one who is over 600 pounds was in a rehab. He said he didn't think she'd last there. He said she wanted to go home. He said they took 60 pounds off of Tammy. He said on her that's nothing. He said she's over 600 pounds. He said as soon as she's down she's wanting to go home. He said they told her if she goes home she's not going to be able to get her meals. She said she'd just get a burger. Howard said they were trying to help but she didn't want it.

  Howard said this Tammy dates guys and they say they can fuck her. He said he's not sure how that works but she does it. He said she'll date women too. Howard said the whole thing is sad. He said he told his wife that they might have to bail on the show.

  Howard said he tired to watch the American Music Awards but there was nothing there for him. He said that he loves musicians but he doesn't relate to a lot of it. He said Bruno Mars is super talented but he had to hit the fast forward with him. He said then Cardi B came out and she was talking like she was and he had no idea what she was saying. Howard played some audio from the show where she was hosting and talking in an unusual way. Howard said he doesn't remember her speaking like that when she was on his show.

  Howard said he had no idea what the fuck was going on. He said he had to get a young person to translate for him. Robin said she was talking about how her arms were sweating and things like that. Howard said this is the third time he heard it. He said he still doesn't know what she was talking about. Robin said she also said the show was going to be fire. Howard said he thought she was speaking Klingon. He said he was out of his mind. He said he gives up.

  Howard said Dick Clark used to host that show. He said he created that whole thing. Robin said she's not sure if his company still runs it. Howard said that's an empire. He said it's weird when Dick started that they only had the Grammy's. He said then Dick came on TV and said he had this American Music Awards. He said that everyone laughed at him. He said they made it work. He said Dick hosted the show and he gave it some gravitas. He said then they tried to get Ryan Seacrest to host it. He said he thinks he was grooming him to take over but it didn't work out.

  Howard said Dick Clark did that and he was a smart guy. He said ABC had the contract for the Grammys. He said when the contract ran out they got Dick to do the American Music Awards. He said it ended up working out. Robin said Taylor Swift won some awards last night and she has a total of 35. She said she's got more than anyone. Howard said he likes some of her tunes but the new album he's not sure what's going on there. Robin said it's a remake of an old album. Howard said he thinks she's cute but he really doesn't care about her music. He said some of her songs are catchy and he can sing some of them. He said it's okay.

  Howard said he made it through Cardi B and some Bruno Mars. He said BTS came on with Chris Martin and they were like Menudo. Robin said they actually substitute the guys in the band to keep them looking young. Howard said he didn't know that. Robin said they don't keep the same members in the band. Howard said he did not know that. He said so that's what they're doing. Robin said she met some of them on a plane once. She said they're superstars and they don't get treated like they are. She said most of the kids were in Coach and one kid got a First Class seat with management. Howard asked how they tell the kid that they kick them out. Robin said she doesn't know that much about it.

  Howard said he wishes he cold do that with some of the guys on the show. He said that he'd like to kick them out on their 20th birthday. Howard said all of the BTS guys can dance. He said Chris Martin was towering over them all. He said he looked like the land of the giants. He said it was crazy.

  Howard said Robin is teaching him something. Jon Hein said that BTS has not changed their membership. Howard asked where Robin got that. Robin said she saw a blurb about a documentary. Jon said he's pretty sure that it's the same members. Robin said maybe they don't change the names but put different guys in it. Howard said Robin must have had a dream about them and thinks it's reality. He said she might be losing it. Jon said Menudo has done that. Howard said they had over 30 members in the group. He said he didn't know it about BTS.

  Howard said in any case he wasn't able to watch it. He said he saw another act on the show. He said that Olivia Rodrigo was good. He said that's when he went to bed and thought about Bobo at 9:12.

• The Amazing Kreskin. 11/22/21. 7:55am
  Howard said he got a letter yesterday. He said it was with a book that's a children's book that was sent by the Amazing Kreskin. He said that guy has to be like 100 now. He said he used to watch him when he was a little boy. He said he's still around. He said he was thinking about this guy. He said he used to have him on the show all the time. He said this guy would show up on the Mike Douglas show. He said Mike would sing on his show and he was a horrible singer. He said that they had John Lennon and Yoko on the show for a whole week. He said Chuck Berry showed up to perform with them. He said that someone insisted that Yoko was on stage and Chuck was not pleased.

  Howard said Amazing Kreskin would show up on the show like once a week. He said he was what they called a mentalist. He said it's a trick and he was amazed by the guy. He said he deserved that name. He said the guy was really good. He said he's not sure how he did it but he came into the studio once and the whole table lifted up off the ground. He said he didn't do any set up or anything. He said the whole table lifted. Robin said she doesn't remember that. Howard said it was in the air. Howard said the guy was really good. He said he knows he was doing tricks but he was really good at it. He said that's how good it was. He said he doesn't have any powers but the guy was good.

  Robin asked if he got too old to do the tricks. Howard said maybe now he is. He said no one wants to see an 85 year old mentalist. He said it's a young man's game.

  Howard said Kreskin sent him this letter. He said he wanted to alert him to a scenario he didn't predict. He was telling him that he's part of a new animated TV series and it's in a book called Little Billy. He said Kreskin is playing one of the characters in the TV series. Howard said Kreskin wants to come on and talk about it. He said he's not sure he wants to do that but he was thinking about this guy and how he never got his due. He said he was better than any magician he ever saw. He said he may have been the best magician he ever saw. He said the guy is insanely good at it. He said now he's on Little Billy. He said that was a personal letter from Kreskin. He said that was interesting to get. He said he's not sure what he's even talking about in this letter.

  Howard said Kreskin said he's playing the magic tree in the series. He said that he's not having him on to talk about that. He said he would like to find out how he became Kreskin though. He said he doesn't want to talk to him about playing a tree.

  Robin said someone should follow him around to find out how he became Kreskin. Howard said someone may have but they never saw the guy again. He said he loves Kreskin but he shakes your hand so hard. He said he won't let go and he goes up and down rapidly. He said he would ask him not to do that. He said Kreskin would agree to it but it was a weird thing. He said he's not sure why he would do that.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he was in the studio that day when the table lifted. He said Kreskin was making suggestions to them to lift the table and stuff. Howard said he was at one of the tables and he wasn't telling them anything. He said this guy doesn't sound for real. Robin said she never got any instructions on raising the table.

  Howard said he may hate his listeners. He said he hangs up on them all the time.

  Howard said Kreskin sent him a DVD of the commercial for this Little Billy show. He said he doesn't even have a DVD player anymore. He said he got rid of them all.

  Howard said he'd like to know about Kreskin's life. He said that's what he would talk to him about. He said it's tough to do that stuff on TV. He said he loved that guy. He said he got some notes from the guys and they said that Kreskin always said he never had any powers. He said that's what he liked about the guy. He said he doesn't like the guys who say they have powers. He said there was this guy Amazing Randy who would challenge guys when they claimed they had powers. He said no one ever did.

• Howard Takes Some Calls. 11/22/21. 8:10am
  Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk to him about the Rittenhouse deal. He said he asked if they were aware that he went to protect his grandmother and grandfather's property. He said they were trying to push a dumpster into the gas station to burn it down. Howard said he knows. He said it just seems very weird for a 17 year old to be running around with an AR15. He said it's all very weird. He said the cops were there telling the kid to go ahead. Howard said you know it's true that if he was a black kid running around with that gun that he would have been shot. Robin said you call the police when you see someone doing something like that. She said you don't go down there with a gun at 17 and cross state lines and all of that.

  Howard said he's a big gun advocate. He said that he thinks that people do have the right to bare arms and the police can't be everywhere. He said especially in rural areas. He said if you have a gun you should use it to protect your family. He said that's how it goes. He said shooting someone is a heavy thing. He said sometimes people can't defend themselves. He said he's into people using self defense. He said he really is. He said that at the same time a kid walking around with an AR15 and the cops thanking him for helping out is very strange. Robin said she's sure that kid got a lot of encouragement.

  Howard said it looked very dangerous to have a kid running around like that. He said he gets what the caller is saying. He said he didn't want to get into this discussion.

  Howard said it's just another thing that people talk about and goes back and forth on it. He said he just wants to talk about Kreskin.

  Howard took a call from a guy who brought up Aaron Rodgers and what he thinks about the there NFL players who got COVID and can't play. Howard said come on. He said that he has a friend who is a doctor and he talked to him about what's going on. He said it's just frustrating that people won't get vaccinated. Howard said Aaron Rodgers is a scum bag for lying to people. He said that's the problem he had with that guy. He said now he hears he has a toe injury. He said that he wonders if he went to the doctor to fix that or did he go to Joe Rogan. He asked what the fuck is going on. The caller said that we got lied to about the vaccine. He said we were told we wouldn't get it. Howard said it also dampens the virus and harder for it to spread. He said stop reading the internet and read a paper. He said stop being a cunt. Robin said in Europe they're going back to lock downs again. She said the hospitals are being overrun. Howard said no one is lying to you. He said no one ever said the vaccine is 100 percent. He said it's so clear what they said. He said take it and you can still get COVID but it will reduce the symptoms and you won't die. He said he's not sure why the guy is so dumb and being such a cunt. He said get some common sense. He said stop with the Trumpy bullshit. He asked what happened to this country.

  Howard said he was reading about a brothel somewhere that they will give you a free 30 minutes with a prostitute if you are vaccinated. He said that's how desperate they are to get people vaccinated. Howard said that vaccines are pretty fucking good. He said that he's not sure what they're thinking by saying you won't take this thing. He said stop it.

  Robin said there's a tennis player who's the biggest guy in tennis and there are two others who are at 20 majors. Robin said this guy could play in Australia and he has never disclosed his status. He said that he thinks it's a personal decision. Robin said he's had COVID and he won't tell anyone if he's vaccinated. Robin said if he doesn't show up in Australia then it might show that he hasn't been. Howard said he's not sure why people will get vaccines for everything else but not this.

  Howard said it's crazy. He said that Gary told him the Jets lost again. He said that's about as exciting as it gets. Gary told Howard about their quarterback and how they brought in a new guy and he started to suck. He said then they got another guy and he's unvaccinated. He said he told the team and he's going through the testing and stuff. He said they almost won yesterday.

  Howard said that it's so weird that they can't win. He said it's nice when they have so many teams in New York. He said they have like 3 teams there. He said he's been to Buffalo. He said that it's like a different world up there.

  Howard said he was fleeced up in Buffalo by the police. He said they had to panhandle their way home. He said he had no money to get home. He said it was crazy. He said the police were like something from the south. He said they were calling them ''New Yorkers'' but they're all in New York. He said the cops led him and Dr. Lou by the car and they told them to give their money to their friends. He said that these guys came back 2 hours laster and they said they were taken to a garage and they took all of their money. He said it was some shady stuff. He said it was like Andy of Mayberry time. He said their friends were all shook up.

  Howard said this guy who was driving loved speed and he was driving really fast. He said he was tweaking out on something. He said he thought that he was going to get to Buffalo to meet women. He said they drove from Boston to go up there. He said he figured up there he was like a 7 when he was a 3 in Boston. He said it was like a treasure map. He said they went to find themselves a virgin up there.

  Howard said he knew this girl up in Buffalo and he had no plan once he got there. He said it was stupid kids doing dumb shit. He said they sobered up when the cop pulled them over. He said all their dreams went right out the window. He said they went back to Boston and he went back to his room. He said women in Boston weren't attracted to him. He said that they had to go to Buffalo. He said it was his plan. He said he thought that was the answer.

  Howard said he was watching a documentary about Tom Petty and the making of the album Wildflowers. He said he watched the whole thing and he had a cigarette in his mouth in every scene. He said that he and Robin smoked and they know what that's like. He said you lose track of it. He said the guy could sing and play guitar and it was such a waste of time to smoke. He said he thinks he died of cancer or something. Robin said she can't remember. Howard said it was unexpected. Howard said the documentary is called ''Somewhere You Feel Free.'' He said Kidd Chris told him about it. He said there's another show about the making of Nine Inch Nails song ''Hurt.'' He said it was a half hour special. He said Trent Reznor was talking about how he didn't want to say what the song was about. He said he was being standoffish about it.

  Robin said Tom petty died of an overdose. Howard said he forgot about that. He said he didn't know he was a drug guy. Howard said a lot of these guys are in pain from jumping around so much on stage. He said Prince was in high heels and jumping around so he was always in pain. He said he took pain meds. He said he didn't know Tom Petty was taking pain meds. He said that will fuck you up. He said maybe he was smart to smoke then.

  Howard said smoking is the stupidest thing ever. He said he stopped because he wanted to live long. He said people are still smoking and young people too. Robin said they still smoke in the movies and she's not sure why.

  Howard said Tom Petty is smoking so much that he had one hanging out of his mouth while doing a song and the smoke was getting in his eye and he can't even play guitar because of the smoke. He said he finally put it down and got down to business. He said it drives him crazy.

  Howard did a live commercial read where he was trying to figure out the difference between whisky and scotch. Gary was trying to help but it wasn't really helping.

  Howard took a call from a woman who was calling from Buffalo and she said she agrees with him about what he said about what it's like up there. She said that if you say you're from New York people assume you're from Manhattan and they're wrong. Howard said people don't know how big New York State is. He said it's a beautiful state.

  Howard asked the caller, Shannon, if she would have banged him up there. She said she thinks that he would have had a better shot up there.

  Howard said he does ask people why they go on dating apps because they can't meet people in person. He said that if you can't meet someone in real life then how is it going to work on dating apps? He said maybe he would have had a better shot up in Buffalo. He said he could have been a 9 up there.

  Howard said he just wanted a woman. He said back in the day he would write to this girl he went to summer camp with. He said her name was Lynn. He said she was a beautiful red head. He said they would write back and forth and it wasn't really romantic but she'd write back and tell him about there horse and things like that. He said she lived in Queens. He said he got his license and he wanted to drive to her house and say hi. He said he did that and got his bros in the car and drove there. He said he didn't know where he was going but he found her house. He said that they hadn't seen each other since they were like 13. He said a lot happened to his face from 13 to 18. He said something went wrong. He said his nose was a lot smaller and he didn't have the gangly look with the Adam's apple. He said that they wrote to each other for those years and didn't exchange pictures. He said that he made that drive to the girl's house. He said he went up to the door and knocked. He said no answer. He said he knocked again and the door opens. He said Lynn opens the door. He said she looked at him and asks if she can help him. He said he told her who he was and she said she didn't know him and closed the door. Howard said she took one look at him and she was done. Howard said she was gorgeous too. He said she was way out of his league. He said he did the same with another girl and she told him she was a lesbian now and he had to leave.

  Howard said he had this plan to go to Buffalo and he wanted to meet women up there. He took a call from Mildred from Buffalo and she said she'd fuck Howard right now. It was Chris Wilding doing his Blue Iris impression.

  Howard said he was going to clean the computer out today. He said he'll have the guys on to do that. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.

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• Alanis Morissette Documentary Discussions. 11/22/21. 8:50am
  After the break they played a ''How does JD know all of these things about Robin'' bit, a High Pitch Erik song parody and Alanis Morisette's ''Ironic.''

  Howard came back and sang along with Ironic a bit. Howard said she should be in the hall of fame. He said maybe she is. He said that album alone was a good album. He said he thinks there are people who are let into the hall of fame who do less. He said they don't even have a good album. Howard said people bust her balls that this isn't true irony. He said he'd just tell them to shut the fuck up and listen to the song. He asked who cares. He said just enjoy the song. He said he's not sure what irony is anyway.

  Howard said she still gets her balls busted to this day over that use of the word ironic. He said it is ironic that the song about irony isn't about ironic things. He said that album has sold 20 million since it came out. He said a dozen labels rejected the album before it was picked up. He said that this guy heard the songs and signed her on the spot. He said there's a great documentary about her and she hates it and has disavowed it. He said that they have it on HBOMax. Jon said that she says that the filmmaker didn't make what she was expecting. Howard said she should have had full approval over it. Jon read some quotes from Alanis about what she thinks about this film.

  Howard said he must get contacted by about 25 documentary makers about making something about the show. He said they all want to do something about him like when he ran for governor or something. He said he needs full approval on this kind of thing. He said they don't want to allow that. He said he can't believe Alanis didn't have approval over this film.

  Howard said he had full creative control over Private Parts. He said that took 4 years to get made.

  Howard read Alanis' quote about this documentary and she says there are things in it that she doesn't approve of. Howard said he has to see this thing now.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw the documentary. He said it's on HBOMax and it just came out. He said she talks about the Ironic thing and how she still has people telling her it's not irony. He also said that Taylor Hawkins was her drummer at the time. Howard said he knew that.

  Howard got Wolfie onto talk about the documentary because he saw it. Wolfie said that Taylor Hawkins is a big part of the whole thing and he said that they were banging chicks like crazy and it was the most debaucherous tour he's ever been on. Wolfie told Howard about some other things that Alanis talked about in the documentary.

  Howard said it's good that Taylor got that out of his system back then. He said he's pretty sure that Dave Grohl wouldn't have put up with that. He said when the grunge thing happened it all changed. He said he bets that Dave said you can't fuck the fans. Robin said they'll have to ask Taylor next time they talk to him.

  Howard said it doesn't make sense that he didn't learn to play guitar. He said he should have so he could have been banging chicks.

  Howard said what's weird about that album is that it was all about how scummy guys are. He said that all of the guys were banging everyone around her. He said that's irony. He said he has to see this special now. He said that he's sorry to Alanis but he has to see it.

  Wolfie said that Alanis burst into tears when Taylor said he was leaving her band to go to the Foo Fighters. Howard said Taylor has that look. Robin said he's gorgeous. Howard said he thinks Dave has a man crush on Taylor. He said it's like Steven Tyler hanging with Joe. He said he feels good hanging because they look good together. He said he thinks that Dave thinks that Taylor makes him look cool so that's why he likes to hang with him. He said he feels like Dave's arm candy is Taylor in a weird way. He said not in a gay way but in a weird way.

  Howard said he always got that feeling with some guys. Fred played Ralph's laugh. Howard said yeah, like Ralph. He said he's the best arm candy he could get. He said that's how he rolls. Howard said you know what he means. He said it would be cool.

  Howard said if Alanis doesn't like this documentary then it must be good. Robin said she watched this special called ''The Last Days of Robin Hood.'' She said it was about Errol Flynn and his final days. She said he was in his 50s and started dating a 15 year old girl. She said then he had a heart attack and died. Howard said good. Robin said the story came out and the mother was considered an unfit mother. Robin said Errol Flynn was a mess.

  Howard said he wasn't a big fan. He said he was busy with other things. Robin said she loved his movies. She said you didn't want to be around him if you were a young girl.

  Howard said he just saw the trailer for Spider-Man No Way Home. He said it had a lot going on in it. He said he just saw this new Marvel movie that was promoted on Disney+. He said it was called Shang-Chi. He said it started out good but then it got stupid. He said he needs movies about guys getting the girl.

  Howard said super hero movies were always about the guy getting the girl. He said that's what Superman and Batman were about. He said that's why he needed super powers. He said that they got the girl. He said there has to be a hot chick. He said Spider-Man now has Zendaya. He said that he should get her. He said he has super powers. He said he can climb a wall and shoot webs. He said you need a hot chick. He said that these guys can have anyone. He said the women forget about their careers and they're totally ruined. He said they can't even function. He said that's what you want out of a super hero movie. He said this Shang-Chi isn't like that.

  Howard said this guy has a young lady sidekick and it's just silly. Robin asked if he likes Wonder Woman. Howard said no. He said that women's super power is that they have a vagina. He said guys need super powers. He said he can't get a regular woman so never mind Wonder Woman. He said young men are buying comic books. He said girls aren't buying them. He said they don't want that nonsense. He said they have too much sense.

  Howard said Wonder Woman wasn't a great thing. He said he didn't read that. Robin said someone did because she's been around a long time. Howard said he guarantees it didn't sell well. Robin said they did make TV shows ad movies about her. Howard said they do it because she runs around in her panties and her truth lasso. He said he'd tell her the truth that he wants to fuck her. He said she's in panties and she has giant tits. He said not one of the guys says they want to fuck her so hard.

  Howard said comic books are for guys who drive all the way to Buffalo to find a girl to get laid.

• New Jack And Rod Show Bit. 11/22/21. 9:20am
  Howard said he's going to play a new Jack and Rod show bit where they interview a therapist who is good at conflict resolution. He said they have George Takei and William Shatner on to work their differences out. Howard played the call where Sal and Richard, as Jack and Rod, have this therapist on to talk to fake George Takei and fake William Shatner about their differences. The therapist wanted to help but George and Bill kept arguing so much that they weren't able to work things out.

  The therapist asked Jack and Rod to turn their microphones down but George and Bill kept going and talking over him. The therapist asked them to calm down and say something nice about each other.

  Howard said that guy finally met someone he can't help.

• QAnon Shamen Jail Time, Dancing With The Stars And More. 11/22/21. 9:25am
  Howard said they finally gave that QAnon shamen guy from January 6th 41 months in jail. He said that's almost 2 years. He said that's just under 2 years from what he can tell. Howard said this is that guy who was wearing the Viking horns and stuff during the insurrection. He said maybe don't wear something like that during an insurrection. He said that reminds him of kids who want the attention and want to be the focal point. He said 41 months won't be easy for him. He said that's a long time. Howard said you go to prison you learn to behave. He said his name is Jacob Chansley. Howard said this guy is the official mascot of fuck ups everywhere.

  Howard had some audio of the guy yelling at the Capitol building that day. Howard said go to jail, we don't need you. He said he's screaming about the election being stolen but there's no evidence of that at all. He said they even did an audit and found that Biden won by even more.

  Howard said that 41 moths sounds like a picnic for what that guy did. He said he should be in prison for life. Robin said several people died that day and they should be charged with murder.

  Howard said they asked the guy's attorney if Trump had anything to do with this. He said this is the guy who was representing the Shamen guy. He said his answer didn't make much sense. Howard played the clip and the guy was saying that he'd have a beer with Trump and he has a few fucking things to do including clearing this mess up. He said that he might talk to him about some things that he agrees with him on too though. Robin asked what law school that guy went to. Howard said probably the same one he went to.

  Howard said maybe he could have gone to law school. He said it must not be that tough. He said he seems to have the same vocabulary that he does.

  Howard said that he was reading about who is making it through on Dancing with the Stars. He said it doesn't make sense. He said that Amanda Kloots has a sad story. He said her husband died of COVID. He said of course she's going to get through. He said that she had that sad story. Howard said he loved that story. He said that's some show. He said that they're so hard up for celebrities. He said they're running out.

  Howard said Amanda got into the finale because of that crying dance. He said her poor husband. He said he doesn't want to die and have Beth end up on that show dancing with guys. He said they'll see what happens.

• Clearing The Computer With JD, Mike And Wolfie. 11/22/21. 9:35am
  Howard said he's going to have JD, Mike Trainor and someone else come on. He said Wolfie too. He said Mike is a good looking guy too. Howard said they all have stuff to clear out of the computer. Howard said these guys all get laid like Alanis Morrissette's band. Howard said Mike is a top guy who used to be a stand up comic. Mike said he doesn't miss that. He said he just kind of ripped that Band-Aid off and put it behind him. He said he's happier with this. Howard asked if Chappelle is the big guy now. Mike said John Mullaney is good too. He said Roy Wood Jr. is good. Howard said he knows. He said he used to go to all the clubs. Howard asked how long is act was. Mike said he had 35-45 minutes of material. He said he once did an hour and a half on stage once when someone canceled. He said he was asking questions and stuff. He said he was never that great at it really. He said he got to write for TV shows and that led to him coming there.

  Howard asked who he wrote for. Mike said he wrote for Dave Coulier once. He said he had already done his thing though. Howard asked what the biggest room was he ever played. Mike said he played big theaters in college and stuff. He said he doesn't have a ton of big stats. He said that's why he doesn't so it now.

  Howard asked Mike what it was that got him out of comedy. Mike said he had a lot of bad gigs in bars and stuff. He said life was pointing him in a different direction and he followed it. He said he got married and had some kids and he can't imagine doing that other stuff and this as well.

  Howard asked if he could do 15 minutes now or would it be too weird for him. Mike said he had a lot of material about being single and stuff. He said he did a lot of talking about his dick too. He said he talked about food and fucking basically. Wolfie asked if he ever had a depressing night in a hotel room or anything. Mike said he did have those days. He said that he had one night where he was doing a New Year's Eve gig and this guy in a band was sleeping during his act. He said he went to bed at like 12:05 that night. He said he was not a happy person.

  Howard asked if he ever had a Letterman experience or anything. Mike said he did showcase for Letterman but he's still waiting to hear back about that. Howard said they hear a lot of stories like that but the guys showcase and then end up on Letterman. Mike said they didn't even tell him he failed. He said they just thanked him and let him go. He said he thinks he did okay too. He said you don't get clear messages. Howard said now he has him so he's glad that didn't work out. Mike said now look at him there with JD and Wolfie. He said he's got it made.

  Howard said what a story Mike has. He said he got to do all of that and now he's working with JD and Wolfie.

  Howard asked Mike to tell the story about getting high on mushrooms. Mike said he took them at a Phish festival once. He said that he didn't have a lot of sleep and he had complete break from reality and though he was dead. He said that he was stumbling around and he ended up hearing guys on walkie talkies talking about this big guy walking around. He said someone grabbed him and sat him down on the ground. He said he ate some mud to see if he was alive. He said that's what was in his mind at the time. He said he had pissed his pants too.

  Howard said JD is thinking of doing mushrooms. JD said he hears this and he's afraid of losing any sort of reality. He said he doesn't want to piss himself. Mike said you have to be in a good setting and talk to other people about it. JD said he doesn't want to do it at a Phish festival. Howard said JD is thinking about trying all of this stuff. JD said he won't be doing heroin. Howard said maybe that's a good idea. He said he hears it's addictive.

  Wolfie asked why JD would do that when he's paranoid about every day life. JD said you want to have a good day once in a while. Howard said he has done pretty much everything there was to do. He said if he were like JD he doesn't think he'd do shrooms. JD said he has multiple people have tried them and its helped. He said some people have had positive effects from it. Howard said he needs that Shamen dude from the insurrection.

  Howard said they do say that people are doing studies on these drugs and they do it under the watch of doctors. He said JD isn't doing that though. JD said he hasn't done it yet.

  Howard said when Mike was a stand up he had an agency booking him. He said that was a bunch of years ago. Mike said it was like 10-12 years ago. Howard said the agency would book big names and then say that the comics got sick and then mike was the back up. Mike said they didn't even tell him he was part of this scam. He said he wouldn't know that they were booking him for this stuff that way. He said he eventually realized he was working for scum bags.

  Howard said it's an interesting thing. He said they love him so that's all that matters. He said he gets to work along side JD and Wolfie now.

  Howard said they only have time for one thing now. He asked what JD has. JD said he has something called verbal crutches. He said there are people who have verbal ticks and stuff. He said the first one is Olivia Jade who was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars. He said she says the word ''honestly'' a lot so he has a montage of that. Howard said this is interesting. He said when you're in a cheating scandal that your parents got you involved with, don't keep saying ''honestly'' because it reminds people that you're a liar. He said anyone who says that is a liar. He said don't say that.

  Howard played the montage of Olivia saying ''honestly'' a lot. Howard said that she knows why she was voted out. He said she honestly does know.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he had MDMA therapy. the guy said it was truly life changing. He said he was in and out of therapy his whole life and he had one dose of MDMA and it was amazing. He said it breaks down barriers and it makes it possible to speak openly about a lot of things. He said it has to be clinical grade.

  Howard said he's not sure what they do but they knew the comedian David Brenner. He said he was very kind to him. He said he was a big deal back then too. He said David went to a doctor who gave him something called ponticane. He said he'd put this stuff up his nose and it turned out it was coke. He said he told David there's no such thing as Ponticane. He said David was a great comedian but he didn't think it was cocaine. He said it turned out months later that they figured it was cocaine. He said David was all excited about this stuff but it was cocaine. Robin said LSD was a drug that was designed to be used in psychiatric cases and then it became a street drug. Howard said that shit fucked him up. He said he didn't know.

  Mike said he had a friend who had a seizure and he ended up getting yelled at for being on ecstasy. He said that it's no fun being yelled at when you're high on that stuff.

  Howard said it's funny that people will try that stuff but not take the vaccine. He said they'll try any experimental drug but not the vaccine.

  Howard took a call from Apples who said that he saw David Spade in Boulder last night. Howard said Spade is doing a lot of comedy. Robin said that's not unusual. Apples said it was a great show. He also told Howard to really run for president. He said that he'd get to get real Greta Thunberg to yell at fake Greta. Howard let him go after that. Howard said he's really got nothing when he's not talking about Ronnie.

  Howard said if you get a chance to see David then take it. He said he's very funny. He said he actually got past the Letterman try out.

  Howard said he's imagining JD taking shrooms and they take him to the doctor and the doctor says that something happened to his speech and she may not understand him. He said it turns out that's just how he speaks. He said his wife tells the doctor that's normal.

  Howard said you have to hear this. He said he has a buddy that asked him about this stuff he eats because he hasn't taken a shit in 4 days. He said he told him about Metamucil. He said he told him to get the apple flavor. He said he knows this guy and he knew that he wasn't going to do it the right way and he'd eat a box full in one day. He said sure enough this guy calls up and tells him that he ate the cookies. He said he was walking in the house and he shit all over his floor. He said that he ate them like cookies. He said he ate the whole box of Metamucil. He said you just need 2 crackers. Mike said the box says that you should have 3 packets max in a day. Howard said that would be outrageous.

  Howard said he has David Letterman on the phone and he wants to book Mike for a show. Howard took the call from fake David Letterman who asked him to do his jokes for his kid at the house. Mike said he's a big fan. Howard said Mike will work on his jokes and this guy can work on his Letterman impression.

  Howard said JD has more verbal ticks. JD said the next one is Nicole Wallace who says ''sort of'' a lot on her show. He said that it hasn't stopped. He said this is from one week last month where she's still saying it. Howard said he loves Nicole Wallace. He said she's getting better and better looking. JD said she really is. Howard said she drives him crazy with that ''sort of'' every minute. He said he pointed it out on the air and she tried to stop saying it and she did it for a while. He said it ended up fucking her up for a while. He said he used to watch her and thought that he might have fucked up her career. He said after a while she got back to saying it again. He said JD is right that she says it almost every sentence. Howard played a montage of Nicole saying ''sort of'' a lot.

  Howard said he just goes with it now. He said she's so good. He said he likes watching her. He said she's good. He said they have a good crew on that show. He said she might as well just say it since it fucked her up before when she tried to stop.

  Howard said it's after 10 already and this is a bonus show. He said it's bonus time. He said he wants to get out of here.

  JD said they have verbal crutches on the show too. He said Ronnie says ''Yeah, okay'' a lot when he's fighting. He had a montage of Ronnie saying that over and over. Howard said when you play that it sounds like he's having a stroke. Howard asked if he likes the word cunt better than that. Mike said he likes that better when he's happy.

  JD said Gary says ''Ya know'' on the Wrap Up Show a lot. Howard had a montage of that to play. Howard told him to stop it already in the middle of that clip. He said we get it.

  Howard said he really does like that. He said some of the staff are obsessed with Gary and they keep a daily count of how many times he says it during the Wrap Up Show. He read some of the numbers they had from last month.

  JD said apparently he snorts like a wild boar on the air and the guys put together a montage of that. Howard played the clip and had JD snorting a lot during the show. Howard asked what the fuck is wrong with him. Howard said look at this creature he has working there. He asked what that is. He said that they're too diverse on the show. He kept playing the snorting sounds. JD said he's not sure what the context for all of them is but he can get teary eyed and he will snort to stop it from happening. Howard said no wonder he wants to do mushrooms. He said he's like a pig looking for truffles.

  JD said Fred does a thing too. Howard said tell him about it. JD said he giggles every time he picks up on that guy named Balls. Howard played a montage of Fred laughing every time Balls was on the air.

  Howard said it's the only laugh that Balls ever gets. He asked what that is. Fred said he can tell you why. He said it's because the name is goofy. He said no one else has balls. He said it's funny to him. He said if his name was ass licker he'd probably laugh too. He said it tickles him. Fred said he'd like to know if he got his name from Howard. Howard said he thinks he named himself.

  Howard pretended to pick up on a bunch of goofy named people. Fred wasn't laughing at all of them but he did laugh at a couple like bunghole. He didn't like queef or taint. Howard said they should have a game where they try to make Fred laugh. He made up more names of callers but Fred wasn't laughing much.

  Howard said he thinks that's enough of that. He asked what else JD has. JD said there's something Howard does. He said he picks up on Mike from Maine and always says ''Oh! Mike from Maine.'' Howard said that's because he's the guy who calls into the Bubba show. Howard played the montage and he was saying ''Oh, Mike from Maine'' every time.

  Howard said that's not a verbal tick. He said it's trying to make it a familiar thing with the audience. Howard said his verbal crutch is the least.

  JD said even Beetlejuice has a crutch. He said that he says ''That's a little different'' a lot. Howard played that montage and Beetlejuice was saying that a bunch in those clips.

  JD said that inspired the guys to make a new Beetlejuice song. He said this is a song called ''It's a little different.'' Howard played the song where they had those clips of Beet in the song. Robin said it's nice to hear Beetlejuice in a song.

  Howard thanked JD for the package. He said they'll get to Mike and Wolfie tomorrow. He said they're going to be there again tomorrow. Howard said the fans need them so that's why they're there this week. He said he's one of the people and he has to appear more simpatico with his audience. He said your pal is there for you. He said they were off but then they got the call to come in. Robins said that's right. Howard said they're doing another show tomorrow. He said they'll be there and they'll pick up with Wolfie and Mike then.

  Robin asked what those toys were back there behind Wolfie. Wolfie told them what he had there. Howard said he thinks he's cool because he has them there. He said that will get attention. Robin said she thought it was a bunch of junk. Howard said it looks like Ralph's apartment. He said certain guys think it's cool to have toys for babies.

  Robin asked what he has in the glass case. Wolfie said those are more vintage things. Howard said he started out saying he likes Wolfie but now he doesn't. He said the guy isn't weird at all but he's trying to be now. He said that he's trying to be in on something. Wolfie said he figured him out. He said he's not into this stuff at all. Howard said he thinks he's moderately into it.

  Howard said Wolfie hasn't been the same since he came back from Fist Fest. He said he knows guys like Wolfie who put stuff up like that and they think it makes them more interesting. He said he's not really into that stuff. He said other guys are into it.

  Howard told Wolfie to stay dull. He said that's the way they like him. He said their guys don't hook up with celebrities because they're like that. He said they're not like the Saturday Night Live guys. Howard did a live commercial read and wrapped up the show around 10:25am

• Another Bonus Show, Fan Feedback And More. 11/23/21. 7:00am
  Howard started the show singing along to his opening song. He said it needs a few more ''Hey nows!'' He said he's blessing you again with a bonus show today. He said the fans love live shows. He said they're not usually on this week but this year he said he's giving back to the fans and doing some shows. He said the fans wrote in to thank them for doing the shows. He read through some of those comments he got. Howard said the fans have been great to them so it's only right. He read more comments from the fans. Howard said he wanted to do another show tomorrow but SiriusXM won't allow it. He said that they will be here today though. He said it's going to be a great show today.

  Howard said by the way a lot of people wrote in about Bobo's wife who called in the other day. Howard read some comments about Bobo's COVID ''lie'' and about his wife getting on the phone. Howard said some fans said that they think he's begin to hard on Bobo. He said they had never heard from Bobo's wife Dawn over the years. He said that even she didn't think he had COVID. Howard said for those who missed it he has a clip of his wife on the phone. He played a clip of her talking about how she didn't think he was sick because he was able to walk and sit in the room with his family not wearing a mask.

  Howard said that was his real wife saying it's embarrassing to be his wife. Howard picked up on Bobo and asked what that felt like. Bobo said it was like a spear through the heart. He said he wasn't expecting that. Howard asked what it's like after that call and if he stands up for himself. Bobo said he's a beaten man. He said everything he's done for the show and how it always came first has taught him some lessons. He said some of it really hurt her. He said that the end of the world stuff really hurt her.

  Howard said his wife said that she knew that he didn't have COVID and it's embarrassing to have him as a husband. Howard said he felt for him right there. Bobo said it was tough. He said she has put up with a lot of his craziness. He said she was very gracious to let him have the whole basement for his shrine to Howard. He said he crossed the line too many times to mention. Howard said he actually agrees with what she said then. Bobo said that walk of shame was bad. He said he never would have done that if he had thought about it. Howard said there you go. He said a little glimpse into his life. Robin said Bobo doesn't think this stuff through. Howard said he never considered that. He said he has to write that down.

  Robin said it shows that he doesn't think. She said he just gets an impulse and goes. Bobo said he's guilty of being in the state of confusion. Howard said he's right.

  Bobo said that it turns out that the local health department has sent him a note about how they went with his first test because it was outside the other testing times. Howard asked why he would be around his family with COVID if he thought he had it. Bobo started to go into an explanation that had nothing to do with the question so Howard bailed and thanked him for the call. They played him out with a song parody about his non-COVID calls.

  Howard said he has to agree it has to be tough to be married to Bobo. Howard said he's a professional disc jockey and he's in the radio hall of fame. He said that he's also won the best hair award 4 times. He said the best Queen song is ''Keep Yourself Alive.'' He said what a great song that is. He said it's a great riff. He said that's really good. He had Fred play some of that opening. That's the song that the Bobo song parody was based on. Fred played something other than that song. Fred said it's not playing for him. Howard said they're pulling back the curtain. He said he's not sure what he's doing there. Fred said it's not resetting. Howard said lets hear the song he's playing. Fred said that's for something else and it's not resetting.

  Howard said so that was Bobo putting his wife on the air. Robin said that worked out terribly for him.

  Howard said they had a discussion about the greatest Wack Packer alive and the audience was weighing in. He said Jillian Barberie wrote in about how Beetlejuice is the best. He read through some other comments from fans about Beetlejuice. Howard said people are hoping he can return to the show some day. Howard said they hope so too.

  Howard said people lived the Aaron Lewis cover of the Beetlejuice song. He said Blues Traveler did one too. He said he forgot about that. He said those guys are so talented. He said that you never see John Popper anymore. He said he loved that guy. He said he saw him at a Knick game and he did the Star Spangled Banner with his harmonica. He said this is them covering ''This is Beetle.'' He played the song.

  Howard said even if you don't know the show you could still love that song. He said that song was great. He said that Beetlejuice ate that harmonica after that song. He said he loves Blues Traveler. He said that they learned a lot about John Popper back in the day. He said that he was living in the woods and he was into knives and guns. He said he lived a wild lifestyle. He said he loved that John Popper pulled that thing where he wasn't the good looking front man so they had him in the shadows. He said then John was like fuck you and his talent made up for that. He said the record labels wanted a good looking dude as the front man. He said they wanted to put John in a tower like Quasimodo. He said John has so much talent he was like fuck you, it doesn't matter. He said he has more talent than any of you. He said he's not sure if they're still together but that guy is a super talent. He said they had two big hits.

  Gary told Howard that their hits were ''Run Around'' and ''Hook.'' Howard said Hook is such a brilliant song. He said that's the one where he's singing about how the hook in the song is the most important thing. He said you don't fuck around, you go right to the hook. They played the song and Howard said that Beetlejuice song gave him the chills. Howard said he had forgotten about that Beetlejuice song. He said it's really good.

• Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Special. 11/23/21. 7:20am
  Howard said he's dragging his ass today. He said he decided to get into bed early last night and watch the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame show. He said it was over 3 hours and 17 minutes. Robin said she had to bail on it too. Howard said he thought this year was really good. He said he usually fast forwards through the show to get through so much. He said that there wasn't that much to fast forward through.

  Robin said she fast forwarded through some stuff. Howard said he did too. He said he knows Angela Basset is great but she was talking about Tina Turner so out of breath. He said Tina deserves to be in the hall of fame but she was going on and on. He said he has some audio to play from the show. He played some audio of Angela talking about Tina Turner. Howard was goofing on the way she was gushing about her and doing it with a weird ''actressy'' voice where she was out of breath.

  Howard said he fast forwarded right through that but he did love the show. He said it was really good. He said Keith Urban is married to Nicole Kidman and he knows he got a lot of tattoos but he's really talented. He said he got up there with H.E.R. and did a song. He said she's really good. He said he could have done with a whole concert of that. He said he can imagine Nicole getting nervous about how much chemistry they had on stage. He said Keith was really good with H.E.R. They did a duet of that Bryan Adams song together.

  Howard asked if H.E.R. is into women or guys. He said he hears that name and he thinks that it's some kind of gender thing. He said that she should have some other name.

  Howard said Taylor Swift came out and did a song and that was good. He said she made a long speech too so he fast forwarded through that too. He said the song was good. He said Jennifer Hudson was good. He said she's a powerhouse. He said she did a version of an Aretha Franklin song. He said he had to watch that. He said she had him riveted. Howard said Jennifer lost that chub she had on American Idol. He said she looks sexy even. He said he likes it. Robin asked what that means. Howard said it makes it easier for him to watch. He said that she lost that weight and she looks good. He said he liked her shape and her face. Robin said she's beautiful. She said she sure can sing. Howard said she was turning into Walter Hudson. He said it could have gotten out of control. He said she looks great and sings great. He said she did a great job. He said what a talent she is.

  Howard said the other thing he loved on that hall of fame was the tribute to Randy Rhodes. He said he died at the age of 25 and he was Ozzy's guitar player. He said he must have done the guitar on Crazy Train. Fred played that song. Howard said he's not sure of the whole story but the guy died at 25. He said it was an airplane accident or something. Howard said just listen to that. He said it's powerful stuff. He said Ozzy said that a piece of him died when Randy died. He said that Tom Morello said he named his son Rhodes after Randy. He said Randy did die in a plane crash. He said he was just 25. He said he loves that they put him in the hall of fame even though he thinks all of that is bullshit.

  Howard said imagine that Tom named his son after Randy. He said he loves Paul and John Lennon but he's not naming his kids after them. He said he should have named his kids after radio DJs.

  Howard said he loved the tribute to Billy Preston too. Robin said Ringo dyed his hair black. Howard said that guy looks like a kid and he's 81 years old. He said he's not sure what he's doing. Robin said maybe he's the one who has a pact with the devil. Howard said he looks handsome as hell. He said he was the one they used to goof on. He said now he's the best looking one. He said he hopes at 81 he turns into the good looking Beatles. Howard said Billy Preston was great. He said he worked with the Beatles and helped write a song with them.

  Howard had Fake Sharon Osbourne come in to talk about Randy Rhodes. She said she used to squirt when Randy strummed that guitar. She said he was so hot. Howard said he has to go. He thanked her for coming in. He closed the door on her.

  Howard said Billy Preston was on the show a couple of times. He said he was a little bit shocked. He said he knew he was talented. He said he loved ''That's the Way God Planned It'' and he did that song at some event. He said that was like ''holy fuck.'' He asked if Fred has that live version he's talking about. Fred had the song and said he's not sure where it was from. Howard said what a song that was. He said they gave him his due at the hall of fame.

  Howard said that live version is the version from the concert for Bangladesh. He said he was right about that. Howard said he loves the way he does this song. He said he didn't know this about him but they reminded everyone that he wrote ''You Are So Beautiful To Me'' and he has to talk to Paul about that Joe Cocker version of ''A Little Help From My Friends.'' Robin said Joe really added something to that. Howard said Joe did other people's songs. He said that he did that ''You Are so Beautiful'' and that was written by Billy. Fred was playing ''A Little Help'' instead of ''You Are SO Beautiful'' so Howard asked what he's doing. He said he's not vibing with Fred today. Fred changed it up and played ''You Are So Beautiful To Me'' instead. Howard said that Billy died at 56 in 2009. He said all of that talent is gone.

  Howard said Billy was great. He said they put together a great line up on that Hall of Fame show. He said it was very good. He said he was even digging the Go-Gos. He said Drew Barrymore was talking about them. Robin said she bailed after that. Howard said they got up and did some of their hits and Belinda Carlisle is still sexy as hell. He said she still moves like a young girl. He said he loved her as a front person. He said Belinda slimmed down after getting kind of chubby for a while. He said she was really sexy. Howard said he thinks that Belinda and Ringo are bathing in the same vat of blood or something. He said she looked great.

  Howard said Joe Cocker isn't in the hall of fame. He said that's kind of crazy. He said he has a game there to play with Robin. He said he can name artists and Robin can say if she thinks they're in the hall of fame. Howard said he's going to finish talking about what he liked on the show first. He said he liked Todd Rundgren and Chappelle talking about Jay-Z. He said he doesn't know much from Jay-Z. He said there are a couple of songs he liked. Robin said he liked that ''Hard Knocked Life'' song he did. Howard said he did. He said he's not into rap that much but there are a few songs he's into. He said he's not into hip hop that much. He said he doesn't understand the importance. He said Chappelle was explaining it well. He said that he's all about it in that case. He said it was really interesting to learn about their careers. He said he liked the packages they put together about all of those bands.

  Howard said he really enjoyed the Foo Fighters getting into the hall of fame. He said he watched almost the whole special last night. He said he did have to fast forward through some. He said he asked Dave who he was going to get to induct them and he got Paul McCartney. He said he was thinking about how he wasn't wearing a mask and he's out there during COVID and he's getting up there in age. He said that Paul had to get out there. He said the guy is a treasure and he doesn't want him to go. He said it had to be a super spreader event. He said he would have put him in a bubble or at least a mask. He said the taping of the show went like 7 hours.

  Howard said they were going to do a tribute to Charlie Watts with a ton of people on stage jamming. He said that's the thing they cut because the show went so long. He said he was wondering why they would cut that of all things.

  Howard said he was at the Hall of Fame induction when Jon Bon Jovi asked him to induct them. He said he wasn't going to make it through the night. He said he asked them to put him on early. He said he can't stay up late. He said he knew that they were going to put them last but he had to tape first. He said he's not staying up until 2 in the morning. He said he knows he won't be able to stay up that late so he had to insist that he get on first.

  Howard said he's so regimented that if he eats dinner a half hour late he gets thrown off his game. He said even his psychiatrist tells him he has to get over that. He said he just can't do it. He said he wants to be told how to get past that stuff but he can't sit there and listen to the third guitarist in The Cars talking about his time in the band. He said he won't waste his life doing that. Robin said he rushes to get out of there to go home to sleep. Howard said he loves sleep.

  Howard said they ate dinner by 5:30 and he's done by 6. He said he did the dishes last night at 6. He said after dinner he sits with the cats. He said he brushes them and gives them some love. He said he had to get to bed to watch the Hall of Fame. He said that he told Beth what he was going to do and he went up to bed. He said Beth said that she thought he wanted to do Bang O'clock. Howard said that's what he really wanted to do. He said he was going to watch the Hall of Fame. He said he was shocked by that. He said she was way in love with him yesterday. He said he has no idea why.

  Howard said he was working out and his buddy Pat trains him over Zoom. He said he was doing that over Zoom and he was doing some exercise and Beth walked in. He said that she said he looks like a young man doing that. He said she thought he looked good doing that. He said he must have looked good to her. He said she caught him looking good. He said he didn't even know he looked good.

  Howard said they ate dinner and he asked to go to bed. He said then Walter the cat came over and he gave him the sad eyes. He said he wanted to be brushed. He said that they were about to have bang o'clock and he was boned up already. He said he doesn't need any pills or anything. He said it's shocking that he gets hard like that. He said he brushed Walter. He said he hung out with Mushu the other cat. He said Walter just cock blocked him. He said after that he walked Beth upstairs and held her hand going up. He said he doesn't want her running away from him. He said that they had a little session last night. He said that he was done in seconds. He said then she got up and left the bed. He said he put the hall of fame on after that. He said he was a little sleepy after that.

  Howard said he put on the hall of fame and had to get through 3 hours and 7 minutes or something like that. Robin said she can't believe he did that on a work night. Howard said Beth got into bed when Jay-Z was on. He said he told her that he knows that she doesn't care about that but she was fine with it. He said that he told her who Jay-Z was because she didn't know. He said that's very humbling to Jay-Z when Beth doesn't know who you are. He said she was sleeping by the time Chappelle was on. He said he was the best. He said Beth was out by then though.

  Howard said he was smart when he did the hall of fame. He said he got out early. Robin said it looks like an enjoyable evening. Howard said Robin has never been. Robin said she has and even more than once. She said she never did make it to the end. Howard said he was kind of pumped after the Bon Jovi thing. He said he was sitting at their table and talking to the family and all of the guys there. He said when he sat back down after his speech he lasted about 5 minutes. He said Beth and her sister in law stayed for a while. He said he can't listen to the band talking about The Cars. He said he had to get out of there. He said he was going to pass out. He said he was getting crazy sitting there. He said he can't sit through all the nonsense.

  Howard said he sat through one of the Cars speeches. He said then he got up and walked out. He said it's a walk of shame. He said he had his security guy with him. He said he didn't have anyone bothering him though. He said that's embarrassing. He said he's like 9 feet tall so everyone sees him. He said that newswoman was there. He said he thinks it's Samantha Guthrie. He said he makes it like he's going to the bathroom.

  Howard said he did enjoy the special. He said Kudos to Taylor Hawkins who talked about some of the people he wanted to see in the hall of fame. He said he can play some of that. He had some audio of Taylor talking about that. He mentioned George Michael, Jane's Addiction and Soundgarden. Howard said he agrees with that.

  Howard said he has the quiz for Robin now. Howard said Brandi Carlile was very good at the hall of fame too. Howard gave Robin two names and she had to guess if they were in the hall of fame or not. Robin asked if one is in and one is out or both are in or out. Howard said he's the host but her question is out of line. He said one is in and one is out.

  Howard played some Donna Summer and then a song from Carly Simon. Robin said she thinks that Carly is in. Howard said it's the other way around. He said Donna was inducted in 2013. He said she had died of cancer the year before. Howard said she's in the song writer's hall of fame and in the Grammy hall of fame. He said she's not in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. He said this is why it's kind of bogus.

  Howard said now he has two more. He had Joan Jett and Pat Benetar. Robin said Pat is not in the hall of fame. Howard said that's right. He said she is huge and she should be in. He said they should both be in it. He said he's not taking anything away from Joan Jett.

  Howard said he has Chicago and Jethro Tull up now. Robin said Jethro Tull is not in. Howard said she's right. He said they're one of the best bands in the world. He said they have some great albums. He said they should be in. He said if they do put them in he'd almost say that he'd induct them. He said he actually won't do that. He said he won't go back to the hall of fame. He said time is running out for him. He said what an album. He said what a bunch of music they put out. He said go try to make a flute cool. He said they put in Kraftwerk in the hall of fame. He said it was interesting to see but compare them to Jethro Tull. He said my god... He said Jethro Tull has so much more. He said if you saw them in concert back in their day it was mind blowing. He said Kraftwerk was novelty music. Fred played some of their stuff and had some clips of Ronnie doing his robot voice going along with that. Fred said this song, Autobahn, is 22 minutes long. Howard said it seems like they came up with one good idea and dragged it out.

  Gary said there are a lot of ways to get into the hall of fame. He said that they have one called musical excellence. He said that they don't vote on that. He said then there's musical influence and that's how Kraftwerk got in. He said that they weren't voted in. Howard said listen to what's going on in this song. He said it's not good. He said be honest.

  Howard answered a knock at the door. It was fake Arnold Schwarzenegger who said he loves Kraftwerk. He was even singing along to the song. Howard asked the guys to mix the music down so they can hear Arnold. He said he really has to get back to the studio so he can control this stuff. He said he knew these Thanksgiving shows were going to be a bad idea.

  Howard said he thinks Robin will know this one. He said he has King Crimson and Yes. Robin said that Yes is not in the hall of fame. Howard said she's wrong. He said that Yes is in and King Crimson is not.

  Howard said this one is harder. He said they have Dr. John and Warren Zevon. Robin said she thinks that's a tough one. Howard said he knows the answer. Robins said she thinks it's Warren Zevon who is in. Howard said Dr. John is actually in. Howard said he's a big deal. Robin asked why. Howard said he thinks it's cool to be into Dr. John. He said Warren was great.

  Howard said how about Dolly Parton and Bonnie Raitt. Robin said she thinks that Bonnie is in. Howard said she's right. He said Dolly should be in. He said she's written so many great songs. Howard said she seems like a really good person too. He said she has a shitty sense of humor though. He said she was going to sue the over using her audio book clips. He said that no one thinks it's really her. He said she is an amazing talent. Howard said Dolly is kind of like Ringo and you see her at like 80 and think you'd still fuck her. He said she should be in the hall of fame. He said that his summation has taken almost as long as the hall of fame. Robin said you can't do anything short with the hall of fame.

  Robin said she's going to watch the rest of the special tonight. Howard said it was very well done. He said he had to fast forward through a few things though. Robin said Todd Rundgren said he wouldn't accept an award or show up. Robin said he didn't show up. Gary said he did play a concert the night of the hall of fame. He said he was within driving distance of the event.

  Robin said that's like Howard not showing up to the radio hall of fame. Howard said that's way different. He said that there aren't a lot of great radio guys out there. He said most of the radio guys were born with big voices. He said it's hard to sit there and honor someone who did a top 40 countdown. He said it's depressing. He made up what it would sound like if he was there at a radio hall of fame induction ceremony and had a top 40 DJ talking about his career of hitting the post and things like that.

  Howard said if he had done that he would thank some people. He said Donald J. Barnett is one guy he would have thanked. He said he hired him when no one else would. He said he went to Maine and Altoona, Pennsylvania and no one would hire him. He said he would drive to Maine and drop off his tape personally and they turned him down in person. He said that he gave his tape to Clark Schmidt at WCOZ and he turned him down. He said he listened to his tape and he walked out saying they didn't have any openings. He went through some other names of people who turned him down like J.J. Jeffries. He said Donald J. Barnett didn't turn him down. He said he hired him and gave him a shot. He said he put him on New Year's morning and he had to call him. He said he didn't get fired though. He said he would thank Bill Nozzle too because he hired him in Hartford. He said he gave him a shot as well. He said he'd thank Bill and a couple of others. He said they have people to thank. He said he'd thank Robin of course. Robin said he'd have to thank Fred. Howard said he worked in a bunch of markets before he met Robin. He said of course he'd thank Fred too. He said he'd thank a couple other guys. He said the great thing about the rock and roll hall of fame is that they play songs. Robin said all of the other award shows suck because they just talk.

  Howard said he has some audio of Jim Kerr. He said he was a great DJ. He said that guy has had the perfect career. He said he had this natural gift that he was born with. He said he has a great voice. He said he had such a great voice. He said he would play some songs and then tell people where he was going to hang out with the audience. Robin said he was the kind of guy that the teachers would say that you work any format and not just one. Howard said Jim did it all. He said he just anted to get paid. He had his speech from the radio hall of fame. He wondered what he could have to say. Howard said he has to hear this.

  Howard played the Jim Kerr speech audio and Jim was going on and on about what it was like working in these stations. Howard cut the audio and made up his own speech.

  Howard said he's not sure how long they let you go on. He played more of Jim's speech and then went into his own speech again where he was rambling on and on. He said what a speech.

  Howard played more of Jim's speech and he'd hear some of that and then make up his own speech where he'd talk about how he had to figure out when he could urinate during his shift. He said he had to shit so the played the Kraftwerk song so he had 27 minutes to go to the bathroom.

  Howard asked how his speech is so far. Robin said everyone is sleeping. Howard said he once farted during the show and it made the record skip. He played more of the Jim Kerr speech and it was going on and on. Howard asked how he could show up at this thing. He said he's a fan of Jim's but he's not going to sit through this.

  Howard went on and on with his own made up speech for the radio hall of fame. He was making it as boring as Jim Kerr's speech. He was going on and on about how good he was at school closings and things like that.

  Howard said he likes Jim Kerr's speech. He said he was talking about his live reads during his stop sets. He said you can do a lot. He played more of Jim's speech and said he had an interesting career. He said nice job, good speech.

  Howard said he would bring up when he stopped using a wind screen on his microphone. He said he'd talk about working with Imus at WNBC and how he used the duck sound during his show. He said he learned not to use that on his show. He said he still doesn't know what FM stands for. He said how about the time he played 99 Luftballoons 3 times in a row. He said they called him a renegade for doing that.

  Howard said Jim Kerr got up there and made a speech. He said he didn't let any of that bother him. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.

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• Phone Calls, Joe Madison's Hunger Strike And More. 11/23/21. 8:45am
  After the break they played a phony phone call Sal and Richard made to a Swap Shop show where they were buying and selling a kidney, a ''60s on 6'' intro for the show and Marvin Gaye's ''Sexual Healing.''

  Howard came back and sang along with the Marvin Gaye song. He said he better be in the hall of fame. He said what a performer he was. Robin said he was a great song writer and singer. She said listen to that voice. Howard said his father shot him and killed him. He said talk about parental jealousy. Robin said he was suffering from dementia. Howard said that's bullshit. He said people still know from right and wrong. He said Gary the Conqueror has mental retardation but he knows right from wrong. He said he knows his grandpa had dementia and he never hurt anyone. He said he was angry and he'd yell and scream but he didn't hurt anyone. Robin said they end up being very impulsive and angry when their brain goes. She said it's not clear cut. She said there are some people who are very sweet but don't know what's going on. Robin said if Marvin and his dad didn't get along he may have thought he was being attacked. Howard said he should have known it was wrong.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw that Malibu Sue had this big special in the paper over the weekend. Howard said he was raised on Long Island and Newsday is a huge paper. He said he just realized he canceled all of his newspaper deliveries. He said that he hasn't read Newsday in years. He said his mother still reads it and he asked if he knew there was an article about him in it. He said he asked what it was about. He said she said it was about him being from Long Island and about he shows he has done. Howard said he told his mom to save it for him. He said she was going to put it in the mail to him. He said he didn't want to bum her out by refusing it.

  Howard asked who the caller mentioned. The caller said that Malibu Sue was in it. He said that he thought Gary worked there when she was at WLIR. Howard asked what it was about. The caller didn't know. Howard said he's calling up about WLIR and Malibu Sue and he has no idea what they said about her. Howard asked why he would call about that. Howard said he knows the name.

  Gary said he read the article and she was a communications director for the port authority. He said they just talked about her career. Howard said that station was in Hempstead Long Island. He said he thinks he applied there a couple hundred times and they wanted nothing to do with him. He said he sucked and he has to be honest about that. He said he gets it. Robin said maybe he was a bad audition. Howard said he had a bad audition tape. He said one time a guy heard his tape and put him in a room to hear him. He said his voice was different because he had slowed it down by putting his finger on the tape. He said then they hear his high voice and they think it's not the same guy.

  Howard said he was hired to do a commercial once from his audition tape. He said they hated him when they heard his voice. He said you do a tape when your voice is deep. He said then they hear your real voice in the commercial read. He said he wasn't a good announcer. He said they said he was horrible, just horrible.

  Howard said he wishes he still had that commercial for ''Voyage.'' He said all he had to say was take a voyage with Voyage. He said they had to pay him even though he was horrible. He said that commercial aired on WNEW. He said that poor group. He said it was three young black women in the group and they didn't make it. He said they finally got a commercial and they got this dumb ass to do it.

  Howard said that was the last commercial he ever booked. He said he went in for a golf ball commercial once. He said all he had to say was ''Wilson golf balls.'' He said it was one guy after another who did it better than the previous guy. He said he got up and said it and they were like ''What?'' He said they threw him right out of there.

  Howard said he remembers the name Malibu Sue but he doesn't remember her very well. He said Earl Bailey was good on that station. He said they had a bunch of good people there. He said John Debella worked there he thinks. Gary said he did. He said it was John, Bob Wah, Dennis McNamera and others. Howard said he would send them tape and they laughed in his face.

  Howard said he read this headline last night and this guy Joe Madison works there at SiriusXM. He said he read that this guy was on a hunger strike for voting rights. He said this is unbelievable. He said he can't make it through one meal skip. He said his wife can do it but he can't. He said that sometimes he gets home from his walk and he has to eat his lunch at 9:30. He said this guy Joe Madison is on a hunger strike and he could die from it. He said the guy is 71. He said he has to meet this guy. He said this guy should be in the radio hall of fame. He said Madison has been on this strike since November 8th. He said he's with this guy. He said that he's not going to stop until voting rights are voted into law.

  Howard asked if Robin is attracted to this man. Robin said he's a married man. She said she had lunch with them one day. Howard asked why she didn't tell him about this. He said she yaps about everything but she didn't tell him about that. Robin said it was a long time ago. Howard asked why she went to lunch. Robin said she wanted to talk to him about something. Howard said Robin is trying to change the world. Robin said not now she's not. Howard said she met with him and told him to go on a hunger strike.

  Howard said he admires this guy. He said he was actually inducted into the radio hall of fame in 2019. He said he began his career at WXYZ. He said he doesn't know anything about the guy but he admires him. He said a hunger strike is something. He said that he doesn't stand for anything like that. He said he's not going to go on a hunger strike over anything. He said he wont miss lunch over anything like that.

  Howard said he can't wait for lunch today. He said he's going to eat and watch Morning Joe. He said he tapes that and watches it during lunch.

  Howard answered a knock at his door and it was fake Mitch McConnell who was laughing over Joe Madison's hunger strike. He said that he won't be changing voting rights any time soon. He said that voting is a right and not a privilege. He said that you can starve yourself but they're going to do what they're going to do. He was eating a nice sandwich and said that he bets Joe would like to have some of that.

  Howard said to combat his hunger strike he's going to over eat in his face. Mitch said he's putting words in his mouth. He said he's just enjoying some food right there. Howard said he knows that Joe Madison brought international attention to the Sudanese people. Mitch said he's making some food right now so he has to excuse him. Howard said Joe has done some very good things trying to help people.

  Howard asked if Mitch will be upset if Joe dies from this. Mitch said you can eat. He said he's trying to do a charade here. Robin asked if he knows where Joe is doing this hunger strike. Mitch wasn't sure and Howard closed the door on him.

  Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he called Joe's show and he doesn't like him very much. He said Joe doesn't realize that blacks don't care about this. He said they care about voter's rights but they don't care as much as he does with what he's doing. Howard said he doesn't believe that. Howard said he's not sure if they're going to pass the bill. King said they won't pass it and Joe has to know that he made a mistake and he has to stick with it. Howard said he's not sure how he can get out of it. Howard let King go after that. He said he just wanted to mention that this man is a man of conviction. He said he read about it at AllAccess.com. He said that's his radio email that he gets. He said he reads about the radio industry in the newsletter they send out.

  Howard said you have to read this stuff. He said it tells you about everyone getting fired from big radio companies. He said radio is horrible. He said everyone is losing their jobs.

  Howard said they starve to death because they have no qualifications to do anything else. He said they talk a lot and that's about it.

• Gary's Sex Positions And Ronnie Vs. Apples Again. 11/23/21. 9:15am
  Howard said he was going to bring the guys in for a little nonsense. He said they're going to empty the computer. He said he has to do a commercial first though. He did one for Blackened American Whiskey. They had a conversation yesterday about the differences between Scotch and Whiskey. He said that Gary didn't know but he had to talk about it. He said he gets himself into trouble over that because he wants to be an expert. Howard played some audio from yesterday's show where Gary talked about that stuff. Howard read some fan feedback about that conversation too.

  Howard said he heard one of Gary's lists and he had his least favorite sexual positions. He said that it was pretty interesting. Gary was talking about his favorites but then he said he doesn't like the complicated ones. He said he doesn't like reverse cowgirl or standing sex. Howard said he's not sure why he wouldn't like standing sex. He asked Gary if he like sit when a girl bends over a piece of furniture. Gary said he does like that but not when he'd have to lift a woman.

  Gary also doesn't like sex in a pool or in a shower. Howard said he agrees with him on that. He said he was proud of him when he heard that new list. He said he can put that one in his book. He said he once had Gary and Mary over and she said they're all bad positions. He said Gary was ashamed and embarrassed.

  Howard said Gary is good at having sex. He said he banged a girl so hard that she puked. Gary said she hates that story. Howard said if a girl threw up like that he'd think the girl was disgusted by him. He said not Gary though. He said he had a shitting story too. He asked what that was. Gary said she was trying to prove to him how it all comes out after you have anal. Howard said that's nasty. He said she's out of her mind.

  Howard said that was a good list. He said he did a good job with that. He said he sees guys want to bang in the water but it doesn't work very well. He said it dries the woman up. He said there's too much friction. Robin said water is not a good lubricant. Gary said on paper it looks like a good one.

  Howard said he knows guys that have to have sex in the water. He said he doesn't get it. Gary said there are guys at the Gathering of the Juggalos who have sex in the port-a-potty. Howard said he had to use one the other day and there was shit all over the thing. He said he had to put his shirt over his face to pee on the shit. He said it smelled so bad in there. He said he thought he was getting some disease just being in there. He said people are disgusting.

  Gary said people who have to use a port-a-potty have to go really bad. He said it's not a normal shit. Howard said there was so much coming out of this thing that it was like a mountain. Robin said it sounds like it hasn't been attended to for a long time. Gary said Richard has told stories about how the guys in his band used to pile their shit on each other's to see how high they could get it.

  Howard asked Ronnie about how he likes to have sex in a pool. Ronnie said that it's not his favorite but the girl is weightless so you can move her up and down. He said it's kind of fun. Howard said it's so dry though. Ronnie said you have to get her really turned on first. Howard said it's too much work.

  Ronnie said they did it in the water in Puerto Rico and it was fucking great. He said they were in the ocean and in about 4 feet of water. He said it was really hot.

  Howard asked if their pool is ready yet in Vegas. Ronnie said it's not yet but they're going to have the shotcrete done yesterday.

  Howard said he has Apples on the phone. He said yesterday he choked. Ronnie said he sounded like an idiot yesterday. He said everyone was talking about what a moron he was. Howard picked up on Apples and he said he did choke yesterday. He said that he saw that Stephanie was painting and she posted that on Instagram. He sake if she's trying to be like Howard. Ronnie said he's such an idiot. He said she went to a painting party. Howard said the guy is a one trick pony but he's good at it. He said he got Ronnie all pissed off.

  Ronnie said this was at a woman's house who was an artist and they were drinking and painting. He said she was just leaning how to paint a little bit. He said she's not trying to be like Howard. Ronnie said Apples is a jerk off. He said if he doesn't talk about him or Stephanie he chokes. He said he was whining and no one gave a shit about what he was talking about yesterday. Apples said he did choke. He said he thought Howard was going to say something and he was driving. He said he didn't know what to say.

  Apples asked what Ronnie does when Stephanie is out. Ronnie said he just sits back and relaxes. He said he doesn't have to do anything. Howard said one of the guys wrote him and said that Stephanie dots her eyes with hearts on her paintings. He said that's interesting. Ronnie said he ha she painting right there. Howard said he'd like to see that. Ronnie got the painting and showed it to everyone. Howard described it and Robin said it's a martini. Howard said it's not bad. He said there you go. He let Apples go and got back to the whiskey commercial he started 15 minutes ago. They went to break after that.

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• Chris Wilding's Panama Stories. 11/23/21. 9:35am
  After the break they played a phony phone call Sal and Richard made to a taxi service using Dr. Ruth audio clips, ''JD reads a tongue twister'' bit, a Baba Booey song parody and House of Pain's ''Jump Around.''

  Howard came back and danced around for Robin. Howard said look at him. He said he's so sexual when he dances. He said look at his hip. Robin asked if he got any moves from LL Cool J. Howard asked if she saw his abs. He said back in the day he was ripped. Robin said he was. She said he never wore a shirt. She said she saw him at an event once and he had a big chain and jacket on and no shirt on. Howard said if he had that body he wouldn't have either. He said his name was kind of goofy but it worked for him. He said he must have been in the ocean fucking every 10 minutes. He said that's all Ronnie has on his brain. He said he's a one track mind kind of guy.

  Howard said this is a great song. He said he thinks they had these guys on the show. He said he can't remember who this is. Gary said it's House of Pain. He said they did have Everlast on the show. Howard said DJ Muggs from Cypress Hill was the producer on this. He said they made some beautiful music together. He said this song is so simple but so great.

  Howard said he has a dilemma now. He said he has some time left in the show but not too much. He said he has a bunch of stuff to clean out the computer. He said he's been sitting on this stuff for a while. He said he's so tempted to just talk to Chris Wilding. He said he's not sure what he wants to do. He said Chris is in Panama right now. He said he's with this guy who he met and he's so in love with this dude he's letting the guy fuck him in the ass. He said he's in Panama and with the boyfriend. He said airplane travel is bad. He said he got explosive diarrhea down there too. He said there's a lot going on there.

  Howard said he thinks they have to go with Chris and not the packages. He said it's a tough decision. He answered a knock at the door and it was Greta Thunberg who was talking about how he can't be doing this right now. She said the world is going to come to an end. She said he has to stop climate change and forget the packages. Howard closed the door on Greta. He said she's so annoying.

  Howard said he has to go with Chris. He said that he thinks it's his medication that's causing the diarrhea. Chris said it's really bad. He said he was just shitting in the last segment. He said it's like pissing out of his asshole.

  Chris said they went to an island and he broke down in tears at the beauty of this place they went to. He said if he had proposed to him he would have said yes. He said it's just so beautiful. Howard asked why the beach is so beautiful. Chris said it was the build up. He said that they went on this jalopy of a boat and he wondered where the fuck they were going. He said the trip was like 2 hours or more. He said the water was rough and then they get to the island and it's the most crystal clear water. He said it was this blue water. Howard said if he was his boyfriend there's no way he'd be on a boat for 2 hours.

  Howard said Chris is such a nut that he had a chicken burger and fries the night before. Robin asked what he was drinking. Chris said he was drinking the tap water. He said Panama is very nice. He said it's such a modern city that you think you can drink the water. Robin said you have to make sure you don't drink the tap water when you go somewhere like that. Howard said you have to be careful.

  Howard said Chris said the trip down there was horrible. Chris said everything is worse during the pandemic. He said people were making fun of him for double masking and things. He said with COVID you have all of these people crowded together. He said people don't wear their masks and there are droplets all over.

  Howard said he admires Chris and he's smart. He said he's wearing the goggles and all of that. Chris said he got boosted 2 weeks before he left. Howard asked why he'd drink the water if he's so smart. He said it doesn't add up. Chris said he asked his boyfriend and he told him not to drink it on the island. He said he trusts this guy enough to fuck him in the ass so he trusts him when he tells him to drink the water.

  Howard asked where he's staying. Chris said it's in a hotel room. He said his boyfriend is still living in an ex's house. Howard said he would be a little shook if that was going on. Chris said he was a little shook. Howard said he 's trying to be kind here. He said he can't even stay in his place. Chris said he doesn't want to be in his place. He said he's in the process of moving. He said he has seen the papers for the new place. He said he's hoping to see the guy next month. He said he's at work right now. He said he's a doctor. Howard said he must have plenty of money. Chris said he doesn't want to get into everything but there may have been a lot of control issues with the other guy.

  Howard asked Chris about what he's wearing when he picks him up. Chris said he met him at the hotel. He said when he got to the room he showered and all of that. He said he stunk from the COVID plane. He said the boyfriend told him he wanted him ready for him when he got there. Howard said he's like a prepped chicken. He said he put lube in his ass. Chris said he got ready for him. He said he texted him when he was in the lobby. He said he put some K-Y in his ass and he was ready to go. Howard said he's a good man. He said he doesn't know much about gay sex but it seems like that's a great way to get things going.

  Howard asked what happens when he gets there. Chris said he had a new line where he asked if he can introduce his cock. He said he thought he was ready for that so he said yes. He said that he told him to ease it in. He said you can't rush that. He said that he is pro condom and he finds that tip of the condom and kind of drag in a sensitive area. He said he has him keep it on. He said that he just has to go in slow.

  Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that he really is getting fucked in the ass. She said that he's going to Panama and his boyfriend is cheating on him. Howard said she's being out of line. Howard said it's not proven that the boyfriend is with the ex. Chris said the guy doesn't live there anymore. He said that's what he was saying.

  Howard took a call from Chris' fake Doctor boyfriend. He was working in a fast food restaurant. Chris asked if Howard can fire that guy. He said he doesn't like him.

  Howard said this guy shows up at the hotel and then what. Chris said it was incredible sex. He said he gets what Ronnie says about anal stuff. He said there's something about cumming with that sensation up your ass. He said it gives you a much more powerful orgasm. Howard asked how many times a day he's cumming a day. Chris said that Saturday going into Sunday he must have cum 3 or 4 times. He said that at one point he was making so much noise the guy was covering his mouth. He said at one point the boyfriend looked at him and said he's like a Duracell battery. He did his impression of the boyfriend's laugh.

  Chris said that the boyfriend was saying that the Speedo was too much and people were asking to see it. He said that he asked if he could post a picture and he did do that. Chris said he was in Panama and people were recognizing him down there.

  Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake George Takei. He was talking about how beautiful Panama is for anilingus. Howard thanked him for sharing that with them. Howard let George go a short time later.

  Howard asked if Chris has gotten fucked in the ass with the diarrhea thing. Chris said he's not. He said this morning the shit came right out of him. He said yesterday it was worse. He said the tech guys were trying to do a test with him and he had to run to the bathroom. He said his boyfriend asked him to come back. He said that he had toilet paper in his ass. He said he had to ask for 5 more minutes because of the issues he was having. He said it's been harrowing.

  Howard said that's the real test for a relationship. Chris said that he had to go to work this morning and the boyfriend had his hand on his dick as soon as he woke up. He said he had to get up and get to work. He said he blew him and then he finished and then the guy went for the K-Y and he said he can't. He said his stomach was still rumbling. He said his boyfriend will be back later but he's flying back today. He said he hopes he's cleared out by then. Chris said they take COVID very seriously there in Panama. He said everyone wears a mask inside and out.

  Howard said he used to take his kids on vacation and they'd go to an island and they feed you some half chicken looking thing. He said you wait for some shitty food and some alcohol. He said he just didn't ant to be on the boat.

  Howard said he has Ralph on the phone to chime in about this relationship. He got him on and Ralph said he thinks it might be the fish soup he had down there. He said it looked like it was pretty bad. Chris said it tasted good.

  Ralph said he thinks that Chris is doing too much for this guy. He said he was a top and now he's a whiny power bottom. He said that he's putting up with the ex situation and all of that. He said he asked him to bring the dildo with him down there too. Chris said he's glad he didn't do that. He said the military goes through your bags and they don't do it discretely. Howard asked how they treat the gay thing down there. Chris said they're not doing it out in the open that much. He said he doesn't really do it there in New York either. Howard asked if you can do that down there if you wanted to. Chris said you can. He said he's always very mindful of it. He said down there it's basically ''don't ask don't tell.''

  Howard said if he was gay he'd be doing it in the open just to shove it in their faces.

  Ralph said he also thinks this dildo issue is something the boyfriend should have taken care of himself. He said he should have bought it himself. Howard said he's over the line there. He said that wasn't crossing any lines. Robin said she thinks that he should have gotten it himself too. She said that Chris is the one making the trip down there.

  Chris said that Ralph has talked him down with a lot of things with this guy. He said he was the one telling him to just go down there and enjoy himself. Ralph said that Chris is a good looking guy and the boyfriend is good looking. He said they're both interesting young men.

  Howard said he has had enough Ralph. He said he wants to get back to his own questions. He let Ralph go and got back to Chris. He said he thinks that getting relationship advice from Ralph is like getting nutrition advice from Oprah. He said it won't turn out well.

  Howard said he's very surprised that he's keeping that anal thing open to the boyfriend even with diarrhea. Chris said that it was good in a way. He said that he knew there was going to be a situation back there. He said it's give and take. Howard said that's his man Chris Wilding who is on his way back home today.

  Chris said he has to thank Howard for giving him a life where he can be with someone like this. He said he didn't know they were having shows today but thank you for giving him this life to be able to be who he is. Howard said he appreciates what he just said. He said he is his man. Robin said he just drank more water. Chris said he has to say hydrated. He realized it was the tap water though.

  Howard said he hopes that he's being treated well. He said if that was him he'd be giving that asshole a rest. He said he would blow the guy or jerk him off or something. Chris said he's not just taking it and not liking it. He said the orgasms are very explosive. Howard asked how old he is and how many orgasms is he having a day. Chris said he's 33 and he's having a couple a day. He said he has to be able to turn off his mother's radio. He said that he didn't even tell her about going down there but she knows all about it now. Howard asked if he's paying for her subscription. Chris said he thinks he is. Howard said just tell her the company went out of business and cut her off. He said he did that with his parents. He said he told them they can't get it in their house. He said imagine if he was doing that impression of his mother and she heard that every day.

  Howard said good luck down there. Chris said he brought tests down there and he brought the antigen tests with him to test. Chris said he feels safer down there than he does up there. He said everyone down there is all boostered and they're all wearing masks. Howard said they have too many morons here in this country. He said he's not into freedom anymore. He said he's into getting everyone vaccinated. He said he's not comfortable with what's happening there. He said that he has to run for president to get things cleaned up. He said they'll listen to him.

  Howard said he was reading about these actors who are leaving their jobs because they don't want to get vaccinated. He said it's not easy to get jobs. He said this General Hospital star, Ingo Rademacher, got fired after opposing vaccine mandates. Howard said his agent must be thrilled. Howard did his Agent voice and talked to Ingo about getting fired and how hard it will be to find work now. Howard was going on and on with the agent bit. He said Ingo told him he can go punch up scripts in Hollywood now.

  Howard said there's another guy named Rockmond Dunbar who is leaving the show 911 over vaccine mandates. He said he hopes they never work again. He said there's a lot of anti-vaxxers out there. He said they can start their own production companies now. He said they won't even allow Band-Aids on the set. Hard said it's crazy. He said he doesn't have any other examples right now.

  Robin said there was a hospital that had to shut down an emergency room because the nurses refused to get vaccinated.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he's trying to get his day started and he's getting sick to his stomach with these gay stories. Chris told him to grow up. Howard said he did have Ronnie on talking about fucking in the ocean. Howard let the guy go after that. Chris said that he loves these guys who are too manly to hear about the gay stuff. He said everyone has an opinion. Howard said all these guys want to hear is pussy. He said he's just spreading it around.

• Ralph's Drug Advice For JD. 11/23/21. 10:25am
  Howard took another call from Ralph who said that he has some drug advice for JD. He said he hasn't done mushrooms in a long time but he knows what they can do. He said he doesn't think that JD should do it. Howard said Ralph shouldn't do drugs. He said he always gets sick from it. He said that he gets obnoxious when he gets high. He said that he does dumb fucking stuff. He said he threw up carrots in his washing machine. He said he won't get into that. He said he thinks that ecstasy fucked him up too. He said JD wouldn't even be in the room with people when they were doing drugs. He said now he drinks, does weed and he wants to get into mushrooms. He said he thinks that JD is a nervous guy and he's trying to find a lubricant that can make him into a normal guy. He said he's like Cinderella. He said he's looking for that slipper. He said there is no answer for that. Robin said there is no magic pill.

  Howard said this kid is like a son he has with special problems. Ralph said he should go to a shrink. Howard said of course. He said he should not be doing shrooms. He said he's not going to change and he won't become George Clooney or someone like that.

  Howard got JD on and asked if he has anything to add to this. JD said he has the shrooms and he's got them there just in case he wants to try it. He said he's taking advice from various people. Howard said some doctors are finding the right dosage for people and treating people with psychedelics. Robin said she's not sure if these people are okay or not. She said they could be total messes. Howard said he knows these people and they are total messes.

  Howard asked JD what he's looking for. JD said he wants to have a glass of wine or something. Howard asked if he feels awkward inside. JD said all the time. He said that he's just looking to feel good for a brief moment. He said he was getting messages from people about the things that can happen to you. He said one person said they shaved their head when they were on mushrooms.

  Ralph asked what the ideal outcome is. JD said he just wants to have a glass of wine or something with it. Ralph said that's not how it works. Howard said he's done psychedelics and if you get the right dose you can have a good experience. He said if you get the wrong dose you lose your mind. He said he had a horrible experience. He said he is so thankful that he survived that. He said he was going insane and he made it back. He said there are people who have done permanent damage. JD said Sid Barrett did that.

  Howard said he thinks that the acid he took messed up his brain chemistry. He said he took it again to go see 2001 a Space Odyssey. He said that he had to see that on acid. He said he went to the theater but had the proper dose. He said he had an amazing experience. He said he just saw the ceiling dripping the whole time. He said there's nothing glamorous about this stuff. He said there are no directions on the side of this stuff. He said if you're mentally corrupt like JD then you don't want to do it. He said he'd stay clear of that. He said smoke some weed and drink some wine, that's fine.

  Robin said she was working in the hospital and she was a teenager. She said one guy had come in and pulled out his eyeballs because he was on a bad trip. She said he was never right again. Howard said picture JD without eyeballs.

  Howard said he's not saying that will happen but it could. Robin said that guy ended up in a mental institution and never came back. Howard said JD's whole job is to watch TV and he could lose his job. Robin said they don't know which way it could tip him.

  Howard said he heard that JD wanted to try LSD and wanted to do it in a hotel room in Montauk. JD said he never said that. Howard said yes he did. JD said he must have been high at the time.

  Howard took a call from fake JD from the future who was speaking clearly and said that the mushrooms helped him and he's having a much better life now. He said the Psilocybin is a big help and he no longer has his peanut butter and spoons in the house. JD from the future told him to take the shrooms as soon as he can. JD asked if he's happier in the future. Future JD told him what his life is like and how great it is.

  Howard said he likes the old JD better for the radio show. He said he hopes he stays the way he is. JD said he doesn't like himself in the future. Chris said he sounds like an asshole in the future.

  Ralph said that JD would probably get addicted and do the shrooms too much. Howard said he knows that JD drinks. JD said he barely smokes pot and eats gummies anymore.

  Howard read some comments from the fans about all of JD's drug talk. The fans were saying that it's probably best that he doesn't do that stuff. Howard said someone said that he should see a shrink. Howard said he heard that JD is going to do a run or something. JD said he's doing a 5K on Thanksgiving. He said he's going to walk it though. He said his wife will be running. He said that he's going to do some jogging and walking. Howard asked how old he is now. JD said he's 41. Howard said at 46 he did a 5K and did it quick. He said he was doing 7 minute miles or so.

  Howard said he's not sure what's going on but this guy claims to be JD from the future but even more in the future than the other guy. Howard took the call and this JD was on every drug and still mumbling. Howard said in the future he turns into a degenerate. He said poor JD is going to be racing with his wife and she'll be up front and JD will be bringing up the rear. Robin said a 5K is just 3 miles or so. She said he should run. Howard said he has to build up to it. JD said he agreed to do it a week ago.

  Howard said he knows JD doesn't listen to him all the time but stay away from the psychedelics. He said he doesn't need that. JD said he's leaning that way. Robin said that he could run and get an endorphin high. Howard said he never got that. Ralph said he has. Howard said go to work and you can get a real high.

  Howard thanked Ralph for the call and wished Chris luck with his travels back. He said that it's always he and Robin at the end. Robin wished him a wonderful holiday. Howard asked what she's thankful for but said he already knows that she's thankful for him. Robin said every day she is.

  Howard said he was supposed to empty out the computer but it's full as ever. He said he has so many people on the phone. He said he has a guy who belongs to a mushroom church and wants JD to hang out. He didn't pick up. He said that they're going to end the show. They were done around 10:50am.

• Vacation Replay Show - Day 1. 11/24/21. 7:00am
  Howard is on vacation so they played a bunch of interviews today. Apparently this went on all day. I won't be able to get times for every segment they play today so I'll just cover what they play from 7am to 11 or so. They listed all the interviews they're playing today on HowardStern.com so I'll link the interviews below. I just won't have air times. Here's what they played this morning:
  • Norm Macdonald – September 19, 2016. 11/24/21. 7:00am
  • Bono And The Edge – December 4, 2017
  • Tom Brady – April 8, 2020
  • Kate Hudson – September 28, 2016
  • Jamie Foxx – May 23, 2017
  • Gwen Stefani – July 20, 2016
  • George Clooney – December 16, 2020
  • Leslie Jones- January 29, 2020
  • Bradley Cooper – October 21, 2015
  • Bill Murray – October 8, 2014
  • Ringo Starr And Joe Walsh – November 27, 2018
  • Madonna – March 11, 2015
  • Charlize Theron – June 22, 2020
  • Paul Rudd – July 20, 2015
  • Lady Gaga – December 2, 2014
  • Jennifer Aniston – October 7, 2019

• Thursday Replay Show: Monday Encore. 11/25/21. 7:00am
  This morning's replay show was an encore of Monday's Howard Stern Show. You can read details for the two ''bonus'' live shows above. Here's what they played this morning:
  • Live Thanksgiving Week. 11/22/21. 7:00am
  • Bad Netflix Movies, Bobo's 9/11 Story And More. 11/22/21. 7:10am
  • Visiting Ben And Ray. 11/22/21. 7:20am
  • Howard's Weekend OF Painting, TV And More. 11/22/21. 7:40am
  • The Amazing Kreskin. 11/22/21. 7:55am
  • Howard Takes Some Calls. 11/22/21. 8:10am
  • Alanis Morissette Documentary Discussions. 11/22/21. 8:50am
  • New Jack And Rod Show Bit. 11/22/21. 9:20am
  • QAnon Shamen Jail Time, Dancing With The Stars And More. 11/22/21. 9:25am
  • Clearing The Computer With JD, Mike And Wolfie. 11/22/21. 9:35am

• Friday Replay Show: Tuesday Encore. 11/26/21. 7:00am
  This morning's replay show was an encore of Tuesday's Howard Stern Show. You can read details for the two ''bonus'' live shows above. Here's what they played this morning:
  • Another Bonus Show, Fan Feedback And More. 11/23/21. 7:00am
  • Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Special. 11/23/21. 7:20am
  • Phone Calls, Joe Madison's Hunger Strike And More. 11/23/21. 8:45am
  • Gary's Sex Positions And Ronnie Vs. Apples Again. 11/23/21. 9:15am
  • Chris Wilding's Panama Stories. 11/23/21. 9:35am
  • Ralph's Drug Advice For JD. 11/23/21. 10:25am