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Howard and the guys were back from their week long vacation today. Howard started the show talking about being back live. He said ''fuck me'' as soon as he started. He said he's exhausted. Robin said he looked bright and cheery. Howard said he's a good actor. Howard said he loves America's Got Talent but he made a mistake taking it on again. He said the schedule is different. He said they taped for a solid week. He said he took off last week but he was working on AGT. He said they started Monday and went through Saturday. He said they do a 12 hour day. He said it's work the whole time. He said he's not digging a ditch but he is working. Howard said that it's a lot of work.
Robin asked if he'll remember this when the time comes up again. Howard said he will. He said he talked to his mom and Beth about it yesterday. Howard said his mother was laughing at him. He said he can't make a mistake. Howard said he isn't just in his dressing room the whole time. Howard said they put them in a lounge to talk to the other judges. He said Howie has a lot of things to do in there. He said that he will hurt his leg and he'll pull pranks in there by spilling ice on everyone. Howard said he'll have an assistant to help and it's like sketch humor going on in there. He said then they talk and Howie is great at that shit. Howard said he has to sit there while all of this is going on. Robin asked if he can pretend to be asleep. Howard said he can't. He said he just wants to be a judge because that's all he signed up for.
Howard said the first day there they do a red carpet event. Howard said they want to get press for the show. Howard said they run the piece when they start the show in June. Howard said what they do is press for an hour or so. He said they ask you questions about everything but AGT. He said that's the shit he doesn't like doing. Howard said they were asking him about William Shatner not going to the Leonard Nimoy funeral. Howard said they have a lot of dumb questions like that. Howard said Entertainment Tonight wanted a clip of him talking about that. He said he just said ''who gives a rat's fucking ass.'' Howard said he said something about people being retarded and then he gets shit for that. Howard said they're chastising a guy for not going to a funeral and the guy is 83 years old doing a charity event. Howard said he wonders what these fuckers are doing with their lives. Howard said people really are retarded. He said he was talking to these reporters about that and they aren't thinking. Howard said the guy is 83 years old and maybe he just doesn't want to go. He said Nimoy doesn't know that he's not at the funeral. He said maybe they didn't get along. Maybe they did but who cares. Robin said it's none of their business if he goes or not.
Howard said they were asking about Harrison Ford crashing his plane. He said that guy is 72 years old flying around in an old plane. Howard said he's like Jay Leno driving around in his old cars. Howard said you want to tell Jay to shut the fuck up.
Howard said the other thing they asked about was the ISIS sketch they did on SNL. Howard said they were doing a sketch goofing on ISIS and they were asking what he thought of that. Howard said he doesn't want to be on shows talking about that. Howard said the thing that was really burning him up was that they did an Al Queda bit for the show before SNL even did it. Howard said he didn't even get to play it. Howard played the bit he was talking about and said that he's not one to be talking about the ISIS sketch.
Howard asked Will when they wrote that. Will said it was a week and a half ago. Howard said they had it ready before SNL even did. Howard said they were late to the party.
Howard said they went into the lounge at AGT to talk about the acts but they didn't even have any yet. Howard said that they were talking about what they were looking forward to seeing. Howard said he just said he wants to see a comedian. Howard said they do that for a while. He said then they go do the first session from 1 to 4 o'clock. Howard said they see maybe 16 acts in that time. He said you're really on at that time too. He said they give you a lunch break after 4. He said that's dinner for him. He said that he goes berserk over that. Howard said Heidi eats all kinds of crappy food. He said Mel B was eating crap too. He said that Heidi must shit all day long. Howard said he was there with her and he didn't smell any throw up on her breath. He said she must have a fast metabolism.
Howard said they wanted to have everyone eat together so they could tape it. Howard said what he does is meditate after eating. He said he just wants to pass out. Howard said that way he's fresh in the evening. Howard said he tried to explain that to the producers. He said they wanted him to do it in the lounge. Howard said he was faking eating. He said everyone is eating and he's there pretending to eat a piece of fruit. Howard said he wanted to go back to his room and eat his dinner. Howard said the producers were telling him that over in England they don't have their own dressing rooms. Howard said he has to just take a break and rest. He said it was non stop all day. Then they ask what they're looking forward to seeing again. He said he said he had to eat something in his dressing room so he did that. He said he had grilled salmon and broccoli, string beans and a salad. Howard said when he eats it's not a pretty sight. He said he's not a model. Howard said he put the Good Wife on his iPad and watched that to take a break. He said he needed to regroup. Howard said he doesn't want to eat with everyone and have that on tape. He said that should be done privately, like shitting.
Howard said he went to his room and ate. then he meditated. He said then there's a knock on the door so they can take him back downstairs. He said then he's on air until 9pm. He said it's a 12 hour day or longer. He said then he has to go home from Newark. He said it's snowing and sleeting and it takes a good 45 minutes to get home. He said the weather was bad and it was every day that he had to do that.
Howard said the other judges don't have as much going on as he does. He said that he saw Heidi at the Academy Awards. He said she said she went to an Elton John party. Howard said he gets angry about that. Howard said he's not sure what Mel B is up to. He doesn't ask. Robin said she's not sure if she had a job before this job. Howard said Mel said she was on Britain's Got Talent. Howard said everyone is nice and sweet.
Howard said that they saw some wild stuff this season. He said they have some great stuff coming up. He said he's not sure he can even talk about it. Howard said he was going with whatever he liked the first time. He said he doesn't worry about them coming back and being good. He said that's up to the act.
Howard said they had some bizarre acts this time too. He said they had people doing things that they've never seen before. Howard said there wasn't a lot of singing and dancing this time. Howard said they had one comic come out and it's nothing like you've ever seen. He said the guy was phenomenal.
Howard said by Saturday he was like ''Oh my god.'' Robin said she didn't know it went that long. Robin said she thought he was done by the weekend. Howard said now he's looking at the phones and people are telling him to shut the fuck up. He said he hates people.
Howard picked up a call from a guy who was one of the people complaining. Howard asked what he's supposed to do. Howard said he knows the caller's job is tougher than his. He said he's so sick of the audience. Howard said he has to change that. He said that he wants everyone to leave. He just wants to do the show with Robin. He told everyone to get the fuck off the phone.
Howard said that people are always analyzing the show. Howard said he hates social media. He said he was great when he was just doing radio and no one was talking to other people. He said things have run amuck. He said he was listening to the baseball player freaking out about people saying stuff about his daughter. He said it's Curt Schilling on the Dan Patrick show freaking out about that. Howard played that clip and Schilling was talking about what people were saying about his kid. Howard said when you say to your haters that you know people in the special forces that doesn't mean anything. He said no one from the special forces is going to go after people on Twitter.
Howard got back to the audio clip and Curt was talking about how annoyed he is. Howard said that he should get off Twitter. Howard said Curt was saying he's going to go after these people. Curt said his daughter is a minor and they were saying things about her that are illegal. He said he's going to go after them all. Howard wondered how he's going to do that. He said he might have to hire him to go after his haters. He said that might take 53 years to track them all down.
Howard played more of Curt talking about how he's going to track these people down. Howard said now he knows what retired athletes do with their time. He said they have like 50 years to track down Twitter followers. Howard said he knows it's painful to hear that stuff. He said that they should return to the days when people like him and Robin had the power. Robin said the thing that cracks her up is that he should be congratulating his daughter in person and not on Twitter. Howard said that means having a real conversation with his kid. Robin said this is like people putting stickers on their cars about their honor student.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he likes hearing the behind the scenes stuff. Howard said he does too. He said that's why they do that. Howard said they're going to do a lot of that this year. Howard said he just needs an hour to himself though. The caller also said that Harrison Ford was in a movie where he crashed his plane on an island. Howard said he lucked out when he crashed on that golf course. There were doctors there. Howard said he really has to take a break and get to more. They went to break after that.
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Howard said Wendy gets a ton of calls with background music playing. He said now she and Jeff are engaged. Howard said he was talking about his time in Vietnam the other day and someone contacted him about doing a show. He said they're going to air a show about his time in Nam. He said he has a commercial for that. Howard played the commercial where he talks about his time in Vietnam. The guys took clips of Howard talking about killing dolphins and stuff like that and put it into this commercial parody. Howard said he'll tell everyone when that's going to air when he knows what network it will be on.
Howard said the commercials are great. He said he's excited about the whole thing. Howard played another commercial parody where they had him talking about some things he did in Vietnam. Howard said you'll notice that Brian Williams was narrating that. Howard said there was a story in the paper today about how Brian wanted to be the host of the Tonight Show. He said that guy does not want to be a news man. Robin said before all of that went down the NBC executives took him out to dinner and gave him an Edward R. Murrows desk or something. Howard said Brian Williams wasn't going to sign up for more time on NBC so that's why they gave him the desk. He said he signed on for more time immediately. He said that shows just how wacky he is. He said he wants the guy back reading the news.
Howard said they went out and asked people who is the most trusted news person, Robin Quivers or Brian Williams. Howard played some clips of people answering that. One guy said Robin because of her huge tits. That led to Howard playing a song parody about Robin's cans. Howard said that was Eli Braden singing one of his awesome Robin songs. Robin said that sounded original. Fred said it's a parody of a song from the Lego Movie.
Howard said he was out having his picture taken on Thursday. He said they did that with everyone from AGT. Howard said he likes watching Nick's dressing room backstage. He said you know there are hot chicks going in there now. He said they had one hot black chick walk in while they were taping. He said she was model hot. He said she was hanging around Nick's entourage. He said Nick knows a lot about music. He said that they were at the photo shoot and they had a DJ for the shoot. Howard said Heidi went first and she had some loud music being played. He said that they asked him what he wanted to hear. He said he just told them to play something he could move to. He said he wanted to hear some Eminem or something. Howard said Howie was asking to hear some Kanye West and he thought he was putting them on but he seems to know the music.
Howard said when he was posing they played Donovan. Howard said they played Hurdy Gurdy Man. He said it's not easy to pose to that. He said everyone has upbeat music going and then he has Donovan on. He said Mel and Nick came down asking what that shit was. Howard said he did pose to it. He said that Nick was a child star and he didn't know that. Howard said Nick knew Kanye when he was like 13. Howard said he asked Nick who he likes in the music business. He said Bruno Mars. Howard said Nick was saying that Bruno is a nice guy and he does it all. He said he asked about 15 other guys and Nick told him why they all sucked. Howard said he seems to know everyone and knows a lot about music.
Howard said he had a nice hot dinner. He said they had craft services there and they were complaining about the pasta one night. He said you don't think you can fuck up spaghetti. He said they had some wild acts on AGT but he's not sure he can talk about them. He said there's a guy who makes pancakes that he wants to talk about. He said the guy was good. He said it is a talent.
Howard took a call from Monotone Matt who said he's not sure why he doesn't like to spit on his own cock. Howard said it's gross. He said he was watching some porn last night and this attractive young lady was fucking herself with a lollipop. Howard said it was gross. He said that was fine but he fast forwarded on YouTube. He said it's not easy to do on an iPad. Howard said then this girl rubs the lollipop on her tit and starts licking it off. He said then the girl says she wants a man and a man shows up. He said that the guy starts fingering her and sticks two fingers in there plowing into her. He said most guy's nails are ratty and girls don't want that. Howard said the guy was licking her like two dogs going at it. He said fortunately he came and he was able to turn it off. Howard said the girl was blowing the guy and his penis was bent. He said it was like bent backwards toward the head. Howard said the girl spit on his penis and he was grossed out. He said he took her head and jammed it on his penis. Howard asked Robin if she would like that. Robin said no. She said she'd call the police.
Howard said Adam Carolla is calling in and he has to take a break before that. Howard said he's promoting a movie and he heard it's really good. Robin said it is very funny. Fred said it's good. Howard said he has to get to more after a break.
Howard came back and said he loves that guy Ozzy. He said he loves Adam Carolla too. He said he's a funny guy. Adam said he'll take that. Howard asked what's going on with Adam. He said he hasn't seen his movie but he wants to see it. Howard said Robin and Fred saw it and enjoyed it. Adam said he figured. He said he hooked up with Howie Mandel when he was in New York. Howard said Howie is a great actor. Robin said he plays himself in the movie. Howard said he did that in Private Parts. Howard said he could have played Howie Mandel by shaving his head for the role. Adam said that Howie had a great acting career going and then he put a rubber glove on his head and it all took off from there.
Howard said Adam has a podcast and he's managing to make money with it. Howard said he has like 50 different things he does podcasts for. Adam said he has a few. He named the things he's doing with Dennis Miller and other people. Howard said he's busy every minute talking. Adam said it only takes an hour each. He said he does one about cars that's only once a week for an hour. He said the Adam Carolla Podcast is every day but the others are once a week.
Howard said everyone has a podcast these days. Adam said that it's going to end up where everyone has 3/4 of a listeners. Howard said Dennis Miller had a radio show up until last week. He asked what happened. Adam said he did one podcast with him and it was all over. Howard said he's friends with Jonathan Brandmyer and he ended up talking over for Dennis Miller. Howard asked if he had low ratings or something. Adam said he isn't sure. He said that he didn't drop any N-bombs or anything. Adam said he doesn't know what went on with that. Howard asked if he brings it up during the podcast. Adam said that he hasn't done one with him since the show got canceled. He said he did a few and did them before his trip to New York.
Howard asked Adam about working with this Allison Rosen and what happened there. Adam said he didn't want to work with her anymore. He said that it wasn't working out. He said she wasn't a sidekick. He said he got someone new and everyone freaked out about it. He said he's looking for his Robin. Howard said JD gave him a great clip of Adam talking about how great he and Robin get along and how he admires that. Howard said Adam said that Allison wasn't really into Adam. Adam said she didn't have to be. He said he does a home improvement show on Spike and she wouldn't watch it. Robin said she watches anything that Howard does. Howard said that's what Adam is saying. Howard said he sees his point. Adam said that he has a TV show and he's not sure who watches it. He said that it's just one of those things. He said he's never had that environment. He said he's not sure how much of the man Show Dr. Drew ever watched.
Howard said Adam was talking about Yoko Ono recently and he thought this was a brilliant thought. Howard read a quote about Yoko and how she's the most famous Japanese person and she's the least talented and most annoying person around.
Howard asked Adam about the William Shatner thing and what he thinks about that. Howard said people assume that they were best friends because they were in a movie together. Howard said that they weren't best friends. Adam said they were fighting side by side and that's how he repays him. Howard said he was wondering if they were fucking kidding him about that. Adam said Shatner rode a horse into his podcast studio. He said that he never stops riding horses.
Howard said Adam is calling in today to talk about his movie ''Road Hard.'' Howard said Adam and Jimmy Kimmel did The Man Show together and then Jimmy started doing his own thing. Howard said Adam has had his own thing going on too. Howard said he has a show on Spike and he's doing really well. Howard said the movie is based on Adam's life and people assume that he's the one not doing well. Howard said he always thought that he wasn't doing well. Robin said that's what the inspiration of the movie was. Robin said he goes with it in the movie. She said he had a great decade and then he's fallen on bad times. Howard asked what Jimmy thinks of the movie. Adam said he doesn't know because jimmy doesn't talk to him. He was joking. He said that he's going to be on Jimmy's show later this month.
Howard asked if the movie is like him being a Casey Affleck to Ben Affleck. Adam said that's part of it but there's a lot more to it. He told Howard about what the movie is about and how there were actors who were 28 years old and they had a few good years and then they ended up back on the road. Howard said there were a lot of stories like that. He said they'd have these holding deals and they'd get them every year. Howard said once reality TV hit then the holding deals went away. He said the business is different now.
Robin said at one point in the movie Adam has a street sweeper guy feeling bad for him. Adam said that really happened.
Howard asked Adam about the people they got for the movie. Adam said they all did it to be cool. He said they all wanted to be in it. Howard said he wouldn't do that. He said he'd want the $1.4 million to himself. Adam said he thought the supporting cast were great. Howard said that the movie trailer is on HowardStern.com now. Howard said the movie is available on all major video on demand providers. Howard said he can't wait to watch it. Adam said that Howard will send him a beautiful email about how great it is once he sees it. Howard said he will send him an email today before he sees it.
Howard said he heard that the former co-host was upset that she was fired over email. Howard asked what the subject line was in that. Adam said it was ''don't open this.'' Adam said that it's not so much of a problem for him but it is for other people. Robin asked if she was surprised. Adam said he would guess that she was. He said that everyone is when something like that happens. Adam said it was nothing personal. He said it just wasn't working for him. Robin said Howard had other sidekicks. Howard asked if he did. Robin said in Detroit he did. Howard said that person was just there. He didn't have anything to do with that.
Howard gave Adam a plug for the movie and for his Mangria booze. Howard said you can find out more about that at CarollaDrinks.com
Howard let Adam go and said that was fun. Howard and Robin talked about how Adam raised the money with a Kickstarter run. Howard said that he would have just kept the money for himself if he did something like that. Howard said he raised $1.4 million. Howard said he would imagine the religious right coming after him and they'd try to stop him from making it. Howard said he could make something like ''Gay Jesus'' or something like that. He said that there has to be a way to make money doing that. He said you tell them you're going to make a movie and to stop it then you have to send money.
Howard said back in the day they had people trying to get him off the air. He said that if they could double his radio salary he'd leave radio. He said he never heard from one of them when he said that. Howard said he would like to do that with the movie. He said they'd have to pay him not to make a Gay Jesus Bukakke party. Howard said that's how he could make money. He said the opening of the movie is Bruce Jenner as Jesus and Arnold Schwarzenegger is fucking him. Howard said God is black. He said he'd get Spike Lee to direct it. Howard said if he can come up with a treatment so wrong then he'd have something. Howard said they'd have to pay him at some point. Howard said he has to take another break.
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Howard said he loves the album Ray of Light. He said he thinks the new one is even better than that. He played some of the song Ghost Town from her new album Rebel Heart. Howard said he was painting to the album yesterday. He said that he has wanted to talk to Madonna since the 90s. He said he's been asking her to come in. Howard said that her sister was there though. He said that she's a hard act to follow.
Howard took a call from Melrose Larry Green who said he was in a Madonna video once. Howard said he remembers that. Larry said that they filmed it in the Roxbury. Howard said they got Madonna telling her that Melrose is a friend of theirs.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he likes Adam Carolla but he has to go beg someone to make a movie. He said that he couldn't get it made so he had to go beg for money. Fred said maybe he wanted to make a movie he wanted to make and it's not very flattering toward Hollywood. He said maybe they didn't want to make it because of that. Howard said he gets it and he understands why Adam would go that route. Howard said if he wanted to make a crazy movie that Hollywood didn't want to make he might go that way. He said he's not sure what he'd do.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who said he had something to say but he told Howard to hold on. Howard said he's not holding on. He played a song parody about Hanzi. Howard asked what he was doing when he told him to hold on. Hanzi said he's just gathering his thoughts. Robin said he had plenty of time to do that before. Howard picked up. Hanzi told her to shut up.
Howard said Riley Martin had trouble remembering what year it was recently. Howard played a clip and Riley said it was February 26th and he forgot the year. Howard said that's what happens when you don't have a job.
Howard said Riley also addressed the whole Wack Pack thing. He said that he remained pretty calm about it too. Howard played a clip of Riley talking about being lumped in with the Wack Packers. Riley said he should probably be glad that he's with such distinguished company. Riley said he personally doesn't consider himself a Wack Packer. He said if they want to lump him in there he will accept that. Riley said he will accept the calling if that's what they want.
Howard said it sounds like a Johnny Depp acceptance speech. He said you don't quite know what he's saying. Howard said Riley was giving shout outs and sounded like he was dying on the air. Howard said he doesn't want to lose any more Wack Packers. Howard said they've lost so many. He ran through some of the names. Hanzi said he wouldn't miss him. Howard said he would. He said he'd miss them all. Howard played another Riley clip where he was giving the shout outs and not sounding so good. Robin asked what's happening to him while this is going on. Howard said Eron comes in and saves the day at the end.
Howard asked Hanzi what was up. Hanzi said he'd like to go see Wrestlemania. Howard said he doesn't think his parents will let him go. Hanzi told him to shut up. Robin asked where it's located. Hanzi said it's in California. Howard said the only way he's going to get to go is if they do it in his basement. Hanzi said he can leave. Howard said he's told him that it's up to his parents if he wants to come to the show. He said he won't do anything that his parents tell him not to let him do. Howard said he doesn't live on his own. Hanzi said he went to Vancouver in November by himself.
Howard said that he has to let him go. Hanzi told him to hold on. Howard asked how old he is again. Hanzi told Howard that he knows he's a fan of wrestling.
Howard said he has Hanzi's father on the phone. Howard picked up and Sal was playing his dad and said that Hanzi can't go. He also said he's busy staring at his hot daughter. Hanzi said Howard doesn't even try anymore. Howard said that if someone from the WWE wants to let Hanzi go then they can contact him on Twitter. Howard asked if that was cool. He hung up on Hanzi after that.
Howard played a prank call they made to a wedding planner and they had a woman saying she wanted to marry her cat. Howard said that was comedian Jen Kirkman on that call.
Howard said he was waving at Fred to d something but he didn't do it. Howard had him try again. They went to break after that.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Benjy tweeted that he is 100 percent single but then he deleted it. Howard asked if he is single or not. Benjy said he is really sad about it. He said she broke up with him like 6 months ago. He said they've been together the whole time though. Howard said she's just not the one for him. Benjy said she has to make a couple of changes. Howard said he heard his podcast. Benjy said that's Elisa's podcast, Kermit and Friends. Howard said it sounded real to him and he was being a dick to Elisa. Howard said he started a fight with her. Howard asked if it was staged. Benjy said it was real. Howard said he has some audio of them fighting. Howard asked Robin if she heard it. Robin said no.
Howard said that Elisa is so sexy and fuckable. Howard said Benjy has no business fucking her. Howard said that it means to him that his family doesn't want him with her or something. Howard said he's never heard a guy so angry. Howard said that if she goes back to him it's like going back to an abuser.
Howard played a clip of Benjy and Elisa talking and Benjy said that she doesn't have a penny. Benjy said that she spends 10 times more than she earns of his money. Benjy told her to go get a job. He said she's never earned a living. He said he would love someone who can make a living. Elisa ended up crying and saying that he's really mean and insensitive. Howard said he never gets real on this show. Robin said there was no shtick coma there. Howard asked if she was earning money when she worked for them. Benjy said she was. He said she was making money doing other things too. Howard said Benjy doesn't make enough to support her. Howard said she is so hot that maybe it's worth it. Howard said the thought of some guy fucking her must make him nuts.
Howard said he has more. He said it's fucking crazy. Howard played another clip of Elisa talking about how Benjy never lets her order her own food. She said she has to share his food. She said she has a limit of $15 when they go out to eat.
Howard said Benjy is saying he doesn't have a lot of money so he has to limit it. Benjy said he loves going out to eat. He said he loves going to a diner and getting a good meal for $15. He said the problem is that he can't stick with where he wants to eat. He said he sounds like such a dick there. He said he's setting the boundaries and it's a problem.
Howard asked Benjy if he puts limits on his food. He said he must not. They were all just laughing. Howard said Benjy gets out of line calling her a bitch in the next clip. Howard played that and Benjy said that Elisa said she was going to pay half the rent. Elisa asked why she would pay half to live with him. Then Benjy started calling her a bitch and calling her a fucking slime ball. Benjy said he doesn't even use that word and it sounds so alien to him. Howard said that she did ask ''who would pay to live with you'' to him. Benjy said he really does love her. Benjy asked if Robin has ever spoken to anyone like that. Robin said no. Howard said he never has either.
Benjy said that they may have to break up fully to get back together. Howard laughed. Howard took a call from a guy who said he understands the frustration there with Benjy and Elisa. Benjy said that he did say he'd cover her for a year. Howard asked why he's defending her here but not in that clip. The caller said that he clearly doesn't like her in a serious way. Howard said he loves her like a guy who kills someone because he doesn't want her to love someone else. Howard said even OJ never called Nicole a bitch.
Howard said there's another clip where Benjy says they made out 5 days ago but Elisa didn't remember it. Howard said he doesn't get all of this. He said Benjy calls her a bitch but then he'd defending her.
Howard played a clip of Elisa talking about how Benjy thought that she was going to do a threesome with Benjy. Elisa said that Benjy was talking about a friend of her's that he wanted to fuck and said it in front of her parents. Benjy called her a low class, unintellectual piece of shit. Robin said this is awful. They're both saying things about each other and they're really cruel. Benjy said that he told her that he will take care of her this year but he thinks she's done with him. Howard asked what it costs him to take care of her for a year. Benjy said it's not a lot. Howard said that he's treating this like a divorce. Howard said he's not that big of an earner to take care of her. Benjy said he told her that if they ever did break up he'd take care of her. Howard said maybe she should stop doing the podcast and do something to make money. Benjy said she's rolling the dice. Howard said everyone thinks they're going to make money with a podcast and it doesn't work that way. Howard said she has to go to a radio station if she wants to be on radio.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Benjy is the Cyrano de Bergerac in this whole thing. He said he gives her so little and still has this chick. Howard said that it's very expensive to live there in New York. The caller said he should let the girl enjoy herself. He said that it seems like Benjy just rips her apart. Howard said calling her a piece of shit and a bitch isn't going to do it.
Benjy said that he thinks they could end up together in the future if they work things out. Gary told Howard that he should play one more where Benjy tells her to shut up a lot. Howard played a clip where Elisa is telling Benjy that she worked so long and so hard and it's fucked up that Benjy keeps saying it's her fault. She said he's such a jerk to her. Then Benjy tells her to shut up over and over again. Elisa said that she worked 12 hours a day while Benjy worked 3 hours. Benjy said she's a liar.
Howard said that's some relationship. Howard said they're the new Lucy and Ricky. Howard said they have a lot of stuff going down. Howard said he doesn't get all of the shut up and piece of shit stuff. Benjy said that he thought that it would piss Howard off because she was referring to stuff there. Howard said no one knows what they're talking about so he doesn't have to worry about that. Benjy said he thinks they're just going through a little rough spot.
Howard played another clip of Benjy talking to Elisa about how she treated him like shit for 3 years. He said that she would set up photo shoots and he'd end up getting charged for it when she'd say it was free. Benjy said it was one incident that wasn't really her fault. Howard said he saw that Benjy would have tons of photos on his Facebook page. Benjy said there was one guy who set something up. Howard asked why he was angry at her then. Benjy said that this guy said he wouldn't use the pictures at all but then he wanted to be paid for them. Robin asked why he would even pose like that. Benjy said he's not even sure why he was yelling at her.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he has kind of figured it out. He said she is fine as hell but she's broke. He said she can't really understand why she's broke. He said she meets this guy who is going to give her money but he's also talking shit to her. Howard said maybe she's realizing she should have a great house and all of that and wondering why she's with Benjy. Howard said she should be with some rich dude.
Robin said that she has been making compromises along the way and she's not getting a lot out of it. Robin said she was getting some stuff out of it but not a lot.
Howard said he wants to hear from Elisa. Howard asked Gary to call her. Howard asked when she does the podcast. Benjy said she does it for 6 hours every night at 7pm. Howard asked why she's doing so much time. Benjy said she wants to do it because she's passionate about it. Howard said that she's never going to become a professional broadcaster doing a podcast. Benjy said she's only been doing it a week. King said that if she did one for 15 minutes then people would want her more. Howard said he used to do 6 hour air shifts but they were playing music.
Howard said he did a podcast when he was about 6. He said he had a tape recorder that he talked into when he was 6.
Howard had Elisa on the phone and asked how they're even talking to each other. Elisa said they're not talking right now. Howard said he had some harsh words for her. Robin said they were both calling each other names. Robin said it wasn't good on either side. Howard said he has a theory. Howard said he thinks that she thinks she's so hot that she should be married and have a couple of kids already. Howard said she should be living for free in a mansion. Elisa said she doesn't think that. Howard said she's begging for half of Benjy's table scraps. Elisa said she feels really bad. She doesn't want to say anything bad about Benjy. She said he's a nice person. Howard said that he wonders why she can't find love.
Elisa said she found some happiness in the show and she had to block Benjy. She said she had to do that because he was telling her that she was ruining Benjy's life doing the podcast. She said he put all of this negative energy into it.
Elisa said she's really nervous about saying anything. She said she doesn't think anyone owes her anything. She said she's not good at asking for things she wants. She said that she doesn't want to annoy anyone. Howard told Elisa to get a job at a radio station and see what happens. She said she thought she had that but that ended. Howard said so what. Howard said she should do what she wants to do but it should pay.
Howard said hot chicks like Elisa should be able to parlay that into something. Elisa's dog, Kermit, was growling as Howard was talking about some of this. Benjy said that Kermit doesn't like what he's saying. Elisa said that she appreciates them giving her opportunities. Howard said that he can't believe that she never gets hit on. Elisa said she gets hit on doing her show. Howard said that guys hit on Beth all the time. Elisa said Beth stands out. Howard said Elisa stands out too. Howard said she has hooked up with the worst Sugar Daddy ever. Howard said she could get a job and raise a family. Howard said she should hook up with a Wall Street guy or something. Benjy said that's not what she wants. Howard said that no one wants to work but they all have to have a job. Howard said there is no money in doing a podcast. Elisa said that she thinks there is money in it. She said that she has grown a lot in just a week. Howard said alright. Robin asked if she thinks that it's going to be her livelihood. She said she thinks it is. Elisa said that Benjy goes into her chartroom and uses fake names. Benjy said that's true.
Howard told Elisa to do a plug. She said she's doing a 6 hour show called Kermit and Friends and you can find out more at KermitAndFriends.com
Howard took a call from Ham Hands Bill who said Elisa should live with him because he'll take care of all of the bills for her. Howard said Bill is a better catch than Benjy.
Howard took a call from another guy who said that Benjy is just into her looks. Benjy said that he's into her brain too. He said it's not just about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't believe that some mental health professional hasn't called in to say Benjy has borderline personality disorder. He said that's when the person loves someone and then hates them the next minute. Howard said maybe he is. Benjy said he's not.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who said he thinks Elisa looks at Benjy like her meal ticket. He said he should dump her and move on. Benjy said he thinks they'll be back together. Janks said she should get a job as waitress or something. Robin asked how long the year is going to last for him to take care of her. Benjy said it started in January. Howard asked how much he's paying to help her out. Benjy said for the year it's under $26,000 for the year. Howard said she's rolling in dough. Howard said that's a lot of money though. Howard said that's after tax dollars. Benjy said it is. He said that was his offer though. He said he thinks of it like they're going through a divorce and they'll eventually get on their own feet and start over.
Howard said he did enjoy the arguing but it's not cool. Howard played a clip from the movie ''Carnal Knowledge'' where Jack Nicholson yells at his character's wife to get out of the house and get a job.
Gary came in and said that JD favoriteed a bunch of pictures of women with big asses on Friday night. He asked why he does that and still worries about what the papers are doing. JD said it doesn't need to be on the cover of the paper. JD said that it's not her fault. Gary said that it's the newspaper's fault. Robin said that he is doing the same thing that they're doing. Howard said if they found a picture of a girl with a perfect ass should they put it on the front page. JD said it's fine on the second page. He said he'd prefer that they put doctors who are working on cancer on the cover.
Howard picked up the phone and said he had Kyle Jenner on the phone. The guys had some kid in the back telling JD to fuck off and to go eat a filet-o-fish. It sounded like Sal was feeding his son some lines to say to JD. JD went into Sal and Richard's office and told them to get off the phone. Howard eventually hung up on ''Kyle'' and wrapped up with that discussion. They went to break after playing a JD song parody.
Howard came back and asked what was being played. He said he was sitting there talking to Benjy. Howard had to do a live commercial read after that.
After the commercial read Howard said it was time for news. They played Robin into that with a Little Mikey song parody. Howard noticed Robin wasn't there so he took a call from a woman who said she feels so sorry for Benjy. She said Benjy is such a pussy for paying her bills all along and sobbing like a little girl. She said she met Benjy a few years ago and he was a big douche bag. She said she met him in the studio. Benjy asked if she was the tan woman. She said that's not her. She said she's so happy that he's been taken and had like that. She said he so deserves it. Benjy asked what he did to her. She said he had a really bad vibe. She said he had some cruel things to say to her. Benjy said he's sorry if he hurt her. She said he's not sorry. She said Benjy is an asshole. Benjy said he's not sure what that's about. Benjy said she was scary.
Howard took a call from woman who said the day Howard goes off the air is the day she's going to cancel her subscription. She also told Benjy to get his head out of his ass. She said he has to move on and stop beating a dead horse.
Howard said he told Benjy the same thing off the air. He said he was talking to him. Robin said she's said it many times. They have to go their separate ways.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's going to be in the minority there. He said he thinks that Elisa is a leach. He said she's a waitress or a bartender at best. Benjy said she's in the top 5 most talented people he's ever met. The caller said she took advantage of the situation and went to town. He said if you go on her Instagram you see pictures of her in a nice apartment and that can't be her's. Benjy said they were living in a studio apartment the size of 1/3 or 1/4th the side of the studio they're in.
Howard said he heard Mariann from Brooklyn's dog died of cancer. Mariann said that he died within 7 days. She said she was very upset about that. She said that everyone from the show was very nice about the whole thing. Mariann said she has a lot of questions that she didn't ask. She said that she went to her vet and they told her that the cancer comes along very quickly. She said she wants to know where it comes from in a little dog. Howard asked if he was a smoker. Howard said no one knows where it comes from. Howard said it's like asking God why he lets 3 year old kids die. Howard said it just happens. Howard said a dog can't tell you their symptoms. Howard said Robin didn't have a clue she had cancer until she couldn't go to the bathroom. Mariann said she thinks about that all the time. Howard said Mariann did what she should do. Howard said life just fucking sucks. Mariann said she changed her life for 11 years with that dog. She said that he was 11 years old. Howard said Bianca was only 10. Fred said he was reading about it and that's about when that cancer can hit. Mariann said it came on so quickly. She said she appreciates everyone reaching out to her. Howard said he's so sorry to hear about it. Howard said she's upset and rightly so. Howard said there are no answers so stop looking for them. Mariann said his name was Max and everyone loved him.
Howard had Jeff the Drunk on the phone to give his condolences. Jeff said he's very sorry but now Mariann can put all of that energy into Howard. Mariann said that she does everything at 100 percent. Howard said when he's grieving Jeff is the last person he wants to hear from.
Mariann said she never really went on vacation because of the dog. Howard said that he knows that Elisa is looking for a place to live if she wants something to do. Howard said he was wondering why he didn't see her at AGT last week. He said it was weirdly quiet. Mariann said she's sorry about that. Howard said he got through it somehow. Howard said it's very hard to lose a pet like that. Howard said he cried like a baby over Bianca dying. Howard said he was filling up the dog's water dish even though she was dead. Howard said it was a good dog. Howard said he wishes Fred was more like a dog. Howard said if he died he'd probably fill his water dish too. Howard said we're put on this planet randomly. He said we didn't ask to be put here. He said we watch everyone leave us. Howard said his cousin recently died and he wondered what happened. He said he was a wonderful guy. Robin said there is so much loss in life. Robin said when they announced that Leonard Nimoy was dead it hurt. She said that was a part of her childhood. Howard said George Takei was talking about Nimoy dying. He had a clip that they put together of George talking about the nice cock Leonard had. Howard said Shatner also talked about his cock in his audio book. He played another bit the guys put together using audio from Shatner's audio book.
Robin said Nimoy's last tweet was about how he wished he had never started smoking. Robin said he had COPD like Scott the Engineer has. Robin said Scott took up smoking again. She said that she can't tell you how sad it makes her when she sees how happy smoking makes Scott. Robin said he had a look of bliss when he's smoking and he already has COPD. Howard said that's all he has.
Howard asked Robin if she got caught up in that whole thing with the color of that dress. Robin said no. Howard said people see the dress as either gold and white or blue and black. Robin asked how that can be. Howard said he sees it as gold and white and other people think he's nuts. Howard said he can't see how anyone can see it any other way. Howard asked Robin how she doesn't see all of this. Robin said she just looked it up and sees it as gold and white. Howard said he read about why people see it in different colors and he doesn't even understand it. Robin said she sees a blue and black dress there too but that is blue and black.
Howard said he heard JD got upset about that whole thing too. JD said it was taking over his twitter feed. JD said he saw it both ways and it depends on the brightness of your screen. Howard said he doesn't get JD. He said he was looking at the dress. JD said it was in his face all night.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie catches a lot of shit but he is a professional. He said he didn't smile or break at AGT. Howard said Ronnie has no expression change when he drives him. The caller said that Ronnie just sat there not smiling the whole time he was being called out. Howard said you expect a real ass clown but he's not. The caller also said that Ralph has a nice style. He said he was very nice too. He said he's no joke. Howard said Ralph wants to be a kid but he's getting long in the tooth. The caller said that Howard looked good too. He said they asked his wife to be in shots but asked him to move. He said that they broke them up in the audience. Howard said that's what they do. The guy said they had a blast there at AGT. He said Howard is really cool signing autographs and all of that.
Robin read a story about Colin Powell was talking about the problems we have in this country with racism. Robin had a couple of audio clips of him talking about that. She had some audio of President Obama talking about the anniversary of the Selma events.
Robin read a story about a man who called the police to report that his wife had stolen his cocaine. Robin had audio of the guy's 911 call. Robin said the man had no idea he had called 911. Robin said now he's facing some drug charges.
Howard said he has some Baba Booeys to play. Howard said that they're at the PGA Honda Classic. Howard played some of the clips and asked Robin to rate them. Howard gave the first one a 3. Robin gave it a 5. The next one was a 5 or 6 from Howard. Robin said she'd give it a 6.
Howard said there's a guy making phony phone calls and saying ''fuck her in the pussy'' on the air. Howard said the guy is trying to be the new Baba Booey but he doesn't like it. Howard played one of the prank calls he was talking about. The guy got on air claiming he was on the plane that ran off the runway at an airport last week. He snuck in a ''fuck her in the pussy'' but they cut him off and hung up on him. Howard said that the reporter didn't even hear it. Howard said these newscasters don't listen. Howard asked the guys to turn off the microphone in Gary's office. JD said it was him and he was sorry. Howard said he thinks this guy is a direct competitor of Baba Booey. He said those are the things that should be said. He said it's getting confusing out there.
Howard played another golf Baba Booey. This guy actually said ''Howard!'' when the golfer took his swing. Howard said he liked that. Howard played another clip and someone yelled out Baba Booey so Howard and Robin gave him a 7 or 8. Howard said one guy yelled out Mama Monkey. Howard played that one and the guy yelled it out after a put. Robin said that was like a 9. Gary said he doesn't support Mama Monkey. He said he's only with Baba Booey. Howard played one clip that they made up where a guy recites a sentence about Gary and Jon Hein. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked Howard if he would mind if someone in the gym locker room was transgender. Howard said he wouldn't mind. Howard said if it was someone like Chaz Bono he'd like to see him naked. Howard said he'd like it that he'd be jealous of his cock. Robin read a story about a woman who complained about a transgender person in the locker room at her gym so they canceled her gym membership. Robin said Planet Fitness says they want a judgment free gym so that's why they canceled her membership.
Robin read a story about a study that found that the average size of a penis is just over 5 inches. Howard said he's above average but he doesn't feel like it. Robin said what he needs to do is get a ruler and stretch out his penis because that's how they measure. Robin said that the length of an erect penis is close to the stretched out length. Howard said he will have Fred help him out with that. Howard said they say the average of a flaccid penis is 3.6 inches. Robin said that Howard has never measured that. Howard said he thinks he might be an inch. He said he's 6 when he's hard. Robin said the average stretched length is 5.21 inches. Robin said that only 2.1 percent of the population are above or below average. Howard said he thought Fred was big. Fred said he's 6 1/2. Robin said he should go home and remeasure. Benjy said they didn't measure him. Benjy said Howard was the longest that day. Howard said he thought Gary was big. Gary said he was in the middle 5s. Howard said Gary has a big one flaccid. Howard said the guys confirmed that Fred was 6.5. Robin said she thought that Howard was the biggest that day. Gary was 5 7/8 that day. Howard said he thought Gary had a pretty big one. Howard said it was all hairy. Howard said when he's flaccid he's only like an inch. Gary said he's had that too. He said he's not always big. Howard said he's not impressive. Howard said he's like Michelangelo's David. Fred said that's not a bad thing.
Robin asked Howard if he would know not to carve his initials into the Roman coliseum. Howard said yes. Robin said two women were seen by people carving their initials in a column there. Robin said then they took a selfie. Howard said he hates that word ''selfie.'' He said people ask him to take pictures and he hates doing that. Robin said the two women could face a fine for that carving. Robin said someone was given a $20,000 fine for doing that back in November.
Robin read a story about a company calling their oat meal ''Haul & Oats.'' Robin said Hall & Oates are not happy about that.
Robin said the Apple watch is being announced today. Howard said he would feel weird about wearing one on his body. He said that he thinks it would be cool but he doesn't want it on his body. Robin said she gave up wearing one of those fitness things on her wrist because it had electrodes on it. She said she just can't do it. Howard said he's afraid that some day they'll find out that they cause cancer. He said he won't even use Bluetooth. Benjy said that the signals are hitting you all the time so it doesn't matter if it's on your body or not. Robin had some audio of a tech person talking about the Apple watch.
Robin read a story about a guy in Ohio who was going to carry out some attacks for ISIS. Robin had some audio of the guy saying that he would have shot the President and people from the Senate and more. Howard said there used to be people who didn't know what to do with themselves and they would kill themselves. He said now they have these groups they can join. Robin said this guy called a TV station collect and told them his plans. Robin had a few more clips of the guy saying that they're all over the country and they are coming.
Robin read a story about Benjamin Netanyahu talking about how we can't trust Iran when it comes to nuclear bombs. Howard said we're all doomed. Robin had a couple more clips of Benjamin Netanyahu talking about that.
Robin read a story about how Saturday Night Live was poking fun at the Hillary Clinton email scandal. Robin had some audio from the bit they did on Saturday. Howard said that chick is good at doing her Hillary impression. Robin said she does the Justin Bieber impression too. Her name is Kate McKinnon.
Howard asked Robin if she has had guys who are average size with their penis. Robin said she has had guys who are so small that she can't feel anything. Howard asked how below average they are. Robin said that it can be girth. She said if it's small and thin then it may not feel like much. Robin said that one guy didn't show very well but he was fine. Robin said other guys are like ''Oh, this is it?'' Howard said she said she once had a 10 inch cock. Robin said the really big ones aren't great. She said they're crazy. Howard asked if he just puts in 6 inches. Robin said she's not sure if they're having a good time if they do that. Robin said she hears that it's all about the head. Howard said he thinks he'd be fine if he had 10 inches and just stuck 6 in. Robin said that was not fun with the guy who was too big. She said she didn't walk funny or anything but it was tough. Howard said he'd love to be able to do that to a woman. Robin said when it's that big there are things being banged against that shouldn't be. Howard asked Robin how big the sausage was that she used on herself. Robin said it wasn't that big.
Robin read a story about the investigators looking into Benghazi thinks there might be something Hillary Clinton is hiding. Robin had some audio of the investigator talking about that. Robin had some audio of Donald Trump talking about that and the email thing.
Robin read a story about some people having some problems with the marijuana laws in Colorado. Robin said one of them is a sheriff. Robin had some audio of the sheriff talking about that and why it's not right to have a state law when there are federal laws forbidding it.
Robin said the pope is very popular. Robin said that he's getting plenty of popularity with his liberal views. Robin said that his popularity is growing in the United States even after 2 years of being Pope. Howard said he likes him. He said he's okay with him. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Jon said they have a poll up asking if Benjy or Elisa was wrong in that whole fight thing. Jon said that Howard was cranky this morning too. He said that Howard is doing AGT again and he's back into it and maybe he's going to regret it. Jon said that they had Adam Carolla call in today. Jon said Howard is worried about the Wack Pack too. He said that you want them to take care of themselves but then you really don't. He said that's what makes them Wack Packers.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks the whole Benjy and Elisa thing is all fake. He said he'd like to ask Benjy if he'd swear on Kermit's life that it's real. Jon said he doesn't think he would do that. Jon said they have to assume that it is. He said they need to figure out which one of them is at fault. The caller said he thinks it's all fake. Jon said that people feel bad for Benjy thinking he's being used. He said Benjy is the one who made that bed. He said he refused to let go for such a long time. Jon said he has to take responsibility for that. Jon said he had to take a break after that.
Jon said that Adam Carolla was on the show today talking about how he fired his co-host from his show through email. Drew said he has been working with Adam for almost 20 years now. He said that Adam has this strange quality about him that makes him a self proclaimed genius. He said he has a moral compass and if he decides something should go one way he can be ruthless. Drew said he has no feelings about it. He said that when they first started working together Adam told him he was like a robot. He said he kind of is. Drew said he always yells at him for bringing that up. He said that things weren't working right with Adam and Allison and he moved on. Drew said for whatever reason it wasn't right for Adam and he's the boss. He said Adam makes a handsome living doing podcasts and he wants it to run a certain way. Drew said if he doesn't want them there then they're not there.
Jon said that Drew and Adam make a good combo because Drew thinks about nothing but feelings and Adam doesn't think about them at all. Drew said Adam is dressing like a French director now and he's doing that to get more attention and it's working.
Jon said he wants to talk to Drew about Benjy and Elisa. He said he thinks that they have to assume it's for real. Drew said they had a caller this morning who accused Benjy of having a Borderline personality disorder. He said that borderlines live in chaos and they feel entitled to acting out their emotions. He said he doesn't know either one of them but his concern is that it could be the female in the relationship. He said he doesn't know her but that could be the case. He said that the borderlines are usually attracted to narcissists and sociopaths.
Jon said if it's not going to work out you have to cut the cord and get away from it. He said that it could make for what they heard today. Drew said one of the things about borderline is that they can't deal with abandonment. He said they hate the person but they don't want them to leave. Drew said they have to get out of it or someone is going to get hurt. That's what concerns him.
Drew said that sex addiction was part of that relationship and that can be love addiction and all of that. He said it's everything piled on top of each other. He said it's a ball of chaos.
Jon said when you hear Benjy saying what he says it's hard to be sympathetic. Gary came in and said that he always hears that Benjy is the nicest person there from the interns. He said he never hears any of this stuff about him. Gary said there were people calling in saying they can't stand Benjy but then they side with him in this whole thing. He said he can't side with ether one. He said Benjy and Elisa know what they got into and they're using each other. He said he feels sorry for both of them but they're both aware of what they're involved in.
Drew said he thinks they are in denial. He said that it was built on mutual exploitation. He said that he's afraid that it's going to lead to domestic violence.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she's been listening to the show since she was a child. She said it's so repulsive to hear Benjy going at Elisa that way. She said it's like the balance of power has changed. She said that Elisa used to have this power but now Benjy has the power over her because of financial situations. The caller said that she has something there. He said that is still going on and there is an issue of power there. He said they have gotten in a deeper level now and that's why the craziness is coming out now.
Gary said that it's sort of moving toward the end now. Drew said that he thought that a year ago. He said it's a sad and depraved thing at this point. He said this can go on for some time and get dangerous.
Jon took a call from a guy who said no one wants to work in this generation. He said that you have to get out and work. He said everyone wants the easy way out. The caller said he's with Gary in this and he thinks that two wrongs don't make a right. He said that they're both going after each other in those clips Howard played today. He said having this much chaos could end up in something ugly happening. He said it turns his stomach to hear that venom. Gary said Elisa hit Benjy with some stuff. Gary said that she said something with such disdain about asking Benjy why she would want to live with him. Drew said that it's time they just get out and run. He said this is why there are domestic violence shelters. He said that they get stuck in a relationship and they can't get out.
Jon mentioned the poll they have up today and they'll have the results later. Jon said Dr. Drew will be on tomorrow as well. Jon tanked him for calling in and went to break.
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Jon said that Howard had a very full week last week at AGT and he wasn't a happy camper. Gary said he was in a better mood than he expected him to be in. He said he brought it to the audience but not to them there at the show. Jon said that's true. He said that he got mad at the audience instead.
Jon said on Wednesday the show is going to start at 1 and that's because Madonna is coming in. Gary said that has been years in the making. He said he had a wish list in the past and it was Madonna, Neil Young and Dan Aykroyd. He said that they always found Madonna fascinating. He said they have more people to shoot for but those three were on the list since the 80s. Jon said that the show will be live from 1 to 5 on Wednesday and they're all excited about that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's in a similar relationship to what Benjy has. He said they met real fast and moved in real fast. He said she had a terrible childhood and she's 8 years younger than him. He said that Drew hit on that personality thing. Jon asked what he thinks Benjy should do. The caller said he was holding back sex from her and what happened with them was that they broke up for 3 months. He said he moved in an ex-girlfriend and that was a big mistake. He said the girlfriend went out and got her fill of dick or whatever. He was going on and on about his thing and they eventually got back together.
Jon asked what they should do about Benjy. Gary said that he knew a guy who got into a fight with his wife yelling about how he makes all of the money and how they wouldn't have any of that stuff without him. He said that should never be said. He said when you make it all about materialistic stuff that doesn't mean that the partner isn't doing things in another way.
Gary said he got the impression that Benjy is done. Jon said they've had that in the past too. Gary said that he thinks this time it's different. He said Benjy has changed based on this relationship. He said he thinks he figured out how to deal with his sex addition. He said there's a lot going on there.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has a thought about the Wack Pack. He said he thinks that they don't care about their mortality or health. Gary cut him off and said there are many who do care. Jon said every rule they make there is an exception for. Gary said there have to be Wack Packers who care about their life. He said Eric isn't one. Gary said he thinks that Underdog cares about her health.
Jon said he has the poll results from Rahsaan. Rahsaan said that 58 percent of the vote went to ''I don't care.'' Gary said he thinks that's a funny button to push. He said he thinks people might be disgusted. Rahsaan said 17 percent said that they blame both of them. Jon thanked him for that and got in a plug for today's Sternthology. They ended the show around 11:50am.
Howard started the show talking about the Apple watch and how cool he thinks it looks. He said he'd want one for the function but he can't wear it. He said he thinks it will cause cancer even though he has nothing to back that up. He said he can't walk around thinking he's radiating himself. He asked Jon Hein if he will wear one. Jon said it works off the phone so you have to carry the phone with you. Howard said fuck that. He said he wants to be liberated from the phone. Jon said if it's in your bag then it might work. He said he's not sure if it works without the phone around. He said the price thing is interesting. He said it starts at $350 and goes up to $10,000 for a gold watch. Howard said that's ridiculous. Jon said it does some cool stuff though. Robin said it can open a hotel room door or start your car.
Howard said he didn't think he was ever going to get an iPad. He said he figured he sounded like an idiot when he was talking about not getting one. Howard said the watches look nice. Jon said he was reading an article about how they're making it fashionable. Howard said that's cool. He said he doesn't think he wants it on his wrist. He said he never put a bluetooth thing in his head either. Robin said she has bluetooth in her car but not in her ear. Howard said he can't put that thing in his ear.
Howard said he'll have to see when the guys get their watches. Jon said it's one of those things that he doesn't want to get but if someone got it for him he'd be happy. Howard said he doesn't want more gear. He said you should be able to get it all through the watch. Jon said he's sure as it evolves you will be able to.
Howard thanked Jon for that. He said he heard that Jon and Jillian Barberie were a great pair. Jon said she really loves Howard. Howard said he should have boned her when he was single. He said that sounds awful. He said he should have fucked her. He said she was open to it back then. He said he may have been seeing Beth at the time though. He said it's too bad. Robin said there had to be a period of time when he was single and could have done it. Howard said he thinks she put it out there when he was seeing Beth. Robin said she thinks it was when he was married before Beth. She said there would have been time. Howard said he could have done Jenny McCarthy too. Howard said he would have liked to have seen what that was like. He said the timing was just off. He said he knows it sounds odd.
Howard said he ran into Jenny the other day. He said they claim that they've never been apart for more than an hour or two. He said she claimed that they were going to be apart for 7 hours the other day. Gary said Donnie Wahlberg is up there holding her hand all the time. Gary said they're really together all that time. Howard said he can't wait for them to break up. Robin said Nick Canon used to marry Mariah Carey every year. Howard said that's right. He said he loves Jenny and Donnie seems like a nice guy but that's going to cool down and they'll be divorced. He said the good part will be when they're bad mouthing each other. Howard said she's booked on the show as soon as they are divorced.
Howard said Sam was over at his apartment and he told him that Danny DeVito was on one of the planes that crashed that day. Howard said he was shocked by that and saddened. Howard said they had their meeting and Sam thought that he was going to write everything for the TV show. Howard said Sam wanted to be a producer. Howard said he had it the other way around. Howard said he's not doing extra work on this. He said they both realized that they wanted to piggy back off of one another.
Howard said he would call Sam once in a while during his illness. He said he did call regularly. He said he was the most jovial guy even with the cancer. He said he was still making jokes. He said he was just on the Wrap Up Show a few weeks ago. Howard said people loved the guy. He said he had a lot of accomplishments. Howard said Sam was one of the creators of The Simpsons and he had drawn a lot of the characters. He said when he got out of college he had a job as a cartoonist. Robin said when they were on the Tracey Ullman show it was pretty much Bart and Homer. She said there was a lot of fleshing out to make it into a series. Howard said there was a nice obituary in the Daily News about Sam. Howard said Sam moved into the TV world and got into cartoons. He said that most of them sucked according to Sam. He said he was happy to do the Simpsons though. He said he took a buyout about 4 years into that. He said he became a multi millionaire from that show.
Howard said Sam was on the Drew Carey show and other sitcoms over the years. Robin said his name was all over a lot of sitcoms back in the day. Howard said Sam also built a facility in Malibu for dogs that were going to be put down. Howard said they would train the dogs for the deaf. Robin said they had something to do with veterans too. Robin said they were helping with PTSD and things like that. Howard said he funded all of that. Howard said Sam didn't ask for donations at all. He gave a large amount of money to charities.
Robin said he was helping save whales too. Howard said Sam was liberating circus animals too. He said he would buy out the circus and save the animals. Robin said that Sam loved his dogs too. She said she read that he was surrounded by his family and dog when he died. Howard said he was a good guy.
Howard said Beth spent a day with Sam. He said she's so into saving animals. He said that she got a tour of the facility and all of that. Howard said Beth loved Sam. He said they were emailing just a week ago. Howard said Sam did a lot of good and it's sad that he was just 59 years old. He said he could have done a lot more good.
Robin said Sam was out saving whales on the ship. She said that he got into a private plane and hired a nurse to help him do that. Howard said Sam was hanging out with Pam Anderson a lot. He said he was tickled by that. Howard said everyone's friend at the end should be Pam Anderson. Robin said she can't be everywhere. Howard said he's not sure about that. He said she can't be that busy. Howard said they are going to pay tribute to Sam on today's Sternthology. Howard said that they had a lot of stories about Sam. He said that the thing that made him happiest was being on this show. Robin said they did that sitcom on the radio show too. Howard said Sam came in and did The Bitter Half. He said that was so much fun. He said Sam wrote that whole thing and it was great.
Howard said it's weird that Sam was just on the channel a couple of weeks ago and now he's gone. Robin said that's what cancer does.
Howard said that Sam never wanted to talk about his cancer. He said that he just went out and did things instead of talking about what he wouldn't be able to do. Robin said Sam was going through his cancer thing while she was going through her's. Robin said he was very happy for her when she was cancer free. Howard said he told Sam that miracles can happen after the Robin thing. Howard said the prognosis for Robin was bad. Howard said Sam just said that's great and he hopes it happens for him. Robin said she talked to Sam about what she went through and he said he got the best doctors and the best quacks.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who said he's surprised he went to him. Howard asked if he's going to get the Apple watch. Hanzi said he won't because he doesn't trust technology. He said it's going to take us over. Howard asked what's up. Hanzi said he thinks he fucked Jenny and Jillian already. Howard said he hasn't but they were offered up. Hanzi said he thinks he's already fucked every chick in show business. Howard said he had to go after that. He cut Hanzi off and played him out with a Hanzi song parody. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and asked when House of Tards is coming out. Howard said he's not sure why people couldn't name 5 black people in 30 seconds. Howard was able to do it. Howard said people are nuts. Robin said we have a lot of problems in this country. Robin said she was watching video of the housemother in the fraternity that had that racist clip they played yesterday. Howard said the dean of that college shut down that fraternity. He said you think about that and the guys were so happy yelling that stuff out.
Howard said they were talking about Beaver Bucks the other day. He said that's what they give out at the Hustler Club. Howard said it turns out there is a college that has Beaver Bucks. Howard said the guys made a call to the college using clips of Ronnie asking about their Beaver Bucks. They took a conversation that they had about the Hustler club recently and used the clips of Ronnie talking about that to make the call.
Howard played a ''Wack Pack Trading Cards'' commercial parody. Then he took a call from Wolfie who asked who Howard thinks would make the worst dad who doesn't have kids yet. Howard said Richard is an alcoholic. He said that he's happy though. He said that's from what he can tell. Robin said they're all sloppy and gross. Howard said Jason is a foodaholic so the kid would be fat. Howard said he doesn't have the discipline. Howard said JD is so borderline or maybe just doesn't have a personality. Howard said JD won't like his kids. He said he doesn't like people to begin with.
Howard said he heard Benjy slept on the floor there last night. Howard said this isn't an apartment. Howard asked if he was kicked out. Benjy said he was up late and he usually just wakes up and he got paranoid so he came in. He said he got there at about 3 in the morning. Howard asked if he fell asleep. Benjy said he wanted to get a little sleep before work. He said he's not living there. Howard said he used to live in the wall there. Benjy said he did have a place back there that they sealed up. Benjy said that was years ago though.
Robin said she's the first person to get in and she sees this strange look on Scott's face. She said she looked over to see Scott looking at a red tarp and something was crawling out of it. Howard said it's like a homeless person. Benjy said this won't be a regular thing. He said he was on Elisa's show last night and couldn't turn it off. Howard asked if he's going to do that every night. Benjy said he's not. He said she's doing good. Howard said his wife tuned into that for 5 minutes. He said she wondered what they're doing with each other. Howard said Benjy deserves better. He said that he should pull his shit together.
Wolfie said it was really weird to hear Benjy talking the way he did with Elisa. Howard said it was. He said Dr. Drew was on the Wrap Up Show talking about Benjy and Elisa. Howard said he was great. He said Drew heard the Benjy and Elisa thing and he had some interesting things to say about borderline personalities. Howard played some clips from yesterday's Wrap Up Show where Drew talked about that.
Howard said that he knows some borderline people and they will love you one second and then go off on you the next. Howard said it's weird. Robin said what was sad is that it's someone you care about and then you listen to what they're saying about you to you. She said you damage yourself when you stay in a relationship like that. Howard played another clip of Drew talking about the love addiction with Benjy and Elisa.
Howard said in a weird way Benjy gets turned on by all of this. He said Drew is talking about him and now he doesn't want to give her up. Benjy said that's not it. Howard said it is a ball of chaos. Howard said everything about Benjy is like a ball. Howard said he has to go see a psychiatrist. Benjy said he's seeing a psychologist. Howard asked if he found that person in the penny saver. Benjy said she's incredible. Howard said there are a lot of psychologists out there who go to a program to train and then they hang a shingle out and you think they're a professional. Howard said they're more fucked up than you are. He said they need a psychologists. Howard said that it's so loosely monitored. He said he knows people who waste their lives going to people like that. Howard said they call them Sigmund Frauds in the business. Howard said that they just don't do any good. Robin said it's like taking a pain pill that doesn't work.
Howard said if you find a psychologist who takes your friends on then they have no clue what they're talking about. Howard said if they begin to accept gifts like cards or anything then get away from them. Benjy asked why that is. Howard said there is a protocol thing about that. Benjy said he gets that. He said that they might connect their lives with yours. Howard said that if they take your friends on they are easily seduced. Howard said you should have a one on one relationship with them. He said it brings up so many issues. Howard said he can't imagine that Benjy has someone good. Benjy said he thinks he does. He said she is highly rated. He said he and Elisa used to go to her together. Howard said that's not right either. Benjy said that's how it all started though.
Howard asked if his therapist's last name is ''Supersonic.'' Benjy laughed. Howard asked Benjy why he let Perez Hilton put his finger up his ass. Benjy said he doesn't remember. He said at the moment it was the stunt of it. Howard said maybe he's gay. Benjy said he doesn't think so. He said the therapist may have muttered that.
Wolfie asked what it would take for Benjy to break this cycle he's in. Howard said Benjy never thought he'd get a girl that hot. Howard said not as hot as Elisa. Benjy said he does think she's the most beautiful in the world. Howard said Benjy is almost 50 years old now. Benjy said he's 44. Howard said if he hasn't gotten it together at this time then he's never going to do it. Benjy said that 44 is his fake age. Howard said he doesn't think he's ever going to get it together.
Benjy said that Greg Fitzsimmons made a great comment about him on the show years ago. He said something about him being in a cocoon on the show and now he's a rotting cocoon that never changed or something like that.
Howard said he has never called a woman bitch like Benjy did to Elisa. Benjy asked Howard why he's so unhappy and miserable. Howard said he's miserable from work. He said his one happiness is going home to his wife. He said he's happy with her. Howard said his misery isn't in his relationship. Howard said his wife is what life is worth living for. Benjy said he doesn't think that it's Elisa exactly. He said it's both of them. Benjy said he knows he has to straighten this stuff out with whoever he's with. Robin said that there can be too much pain in a relationship and you can't get over some things.
Wolfie said that they need a good foundation to recover from all of that. Howard said that they are in the public light with all of this too. Howard said the thing that gets Elisa's attention is to sit there and fight with Benjy. He said he should be more sacred to her than that. Benjy said he wanted to help her get started and that will be her thing. Howard said he's done. Benjy said that's how every conversation ends with him.
Howard said he thinks that Benjy was happier with Perez Hilton in bed than with Elisa. Howard said there's something to that.
Wolfie asked Howard who he thinks would be the worst dad. Howard said Jason would be the best dad. He said his kids might be obese though. Howard said he's not even sure that's true.
Wolfie said that he'd like to interview Howard and ask him some questions. Howard said he has asked a lot. Wolfie said he'd like to do what Benjy did. Benjy asked if Elisa can be a part of it. Wolfie said definitely not. Howard said he can't wait for the Wolfie interview. He let him go after that.
Howard said that this Bill Cosby thing is out of control. He said that's going on and he issued a message about his upcoming comedy dates. Howard said this is a guy who doesn't need the money. He said he should just hide. Howard said he put out a weird message to his fans about how happy he is. Howard said it's really weird. Howard played a clip they played on Good Morning America. Howard said that it's really weird. Howard said he's just ignoring the rape allegations. Howard said he's in the fight of his life and he's ignoring it.
Howard said even if Cosby is innocent you'd think he'd mention it. Howard said that's sociopathic. Howard said he's like Jackie promoting his stuff. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that wherever he went people were beside themselves that Madonna is going to be on the show. Howard said he's excited about it. He said he hopes she is too. Howard said he's very excited. Howard said a friend of his came up to him all excited about it and mentioned Madonna. Howard said it's a big deal. Howard said the show will be live at a special time. Howard said they're going to be on from 1pm to 5pm. Howard said he doesn't want to sleep on the floor there like Benjy. Howard asked Benjy about sleeping there and what he slept on. Benjy said he had a blanket and 2 pillows that he brought from home.
Howard said tomorrow they'll be on from 1 to 5 and then they'll replay the show on Thursday all day. Howard said that he's looking forward to it.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who asked if he's obsessing over what to ask Madonna. Howard said he started writing questions yesterday. Howard said he'll probably have an hour with her. He said the woman's career between film and music is incredible. Howard said she has done so much.
Mark asked about Howard saying that she shouldn't whip her tits out like she did. Howard said that he wants to talk to her about everything. He said the business has changed so much and he wants to ask her what her opinions are on that and so many other things.
Robin said that people have mimicked her career and tried to do what she did. Howard said he wishes she'd come in at 1 and stick around the whole show. He said he thinks that he could talk to her for 4 hours and still not be done. Howard said he's sure he won't get a lot of opportunities to talk to her. Robin said that she also influenced fashion. Robin said the Beatles were the same. Howard said that artists today are still doing her moves. Robin said they are. Howard said he even picked a special outfit for her. He said he's thinking about what it would be like if they took a picture together.
Robin said she wants to know what kind of influence Howard had on her. Howard said he's not going to ask about that. Howard said he has things he wants to tell her though.
Howard said he is obsessing over this interview. He said he is thrilled to meet her and talk to her. He said it's very exciting.
Howard said people say that all kid songs are repetitive. Howard said Riley's bullshit song is way too complicated. Robin said it's a different kind of society she's sure. Howard said they took his song and called a psychic radio show. Howard said they told the woman that it was her birthday and played Riley singing for her. Howard played the call and Sal tells the woman that his grandfather knew it was her spirit birthday. She said he was right and had him put him on the phone. That's when Sal played the Riley singing clips. The woman started speaking in tongues to go along with Riley's ridiculous song. Howard went to break after that.
Gary said he has a game. He said there are 33 women who came out against Cosby. He asked if there are more accusers or books in the new testament. Howard said Cosby accusers. Gary said he's right. There are only 27 books. Gary asked if there are more teams in the NFL or accusers. Howard guessed accusers. Gary said he's right. They found out there are less cats than Cosby accusers. Gary asked if there are more Woody Allen films than Cosby accusers. Howard said Woody Allen films and he was right.
Gary asked if there are more Allman Brothers band members in total or more accusers. Howard said there were 6 or 7 in the original. Howard said that they had some leave and die and he will say more accusers. Robin agreed. Gary said there were 20 members of the Allman Brothers. Gary said he thinks that's about it. He said those were the best.
Howard said he has some fart porn clips. He said that there was a 10 minute clip of a girl laying in her underwear and she makes the boyfriend stuck his nose up to her ass and farts on him. He said guys will jerk off to anything. He said there is nothing erotic about that. Howard said he saw some of the comments guys were leaving and they were loving it. Howard played the audio of the girl and said she's fat and the guy's nose is right up her ass. Howard said the woman is vile. He said you have to see it though.
Bobo said he called his daughter about that and she was laughing at him and told him to call the show. Bobo said he didn't sound like himself. Howard asked how old his daughter is. Bobo said she's 35. Bobo said he was in pain and he just called to say he can't believe he's talking like that. Bobo said he had something wrong with his gums.
Howard played a clip of Bobo leaving a message for Gary and talking in a strange voice. Howard said he sounds like Donald Sterling. Bobo was complaining about his pain and moaning. Bobo said it just hurts. He said he's in fucking pain.
Gary had some pictures of Bobo after his surgery. Howard said he had stuff hanging off his lip. Bobo said they had blood hanging out. He said they were good. He said that it's good now but he's like a lunatic taking care of his teeth. Howard said he should use the Doctors Brush Picks. Bobo said he's going to try those too.
Howard asked Bobo what he wanted to ask. Bobo asked Robin if she will take her relationship with Captain Dennis to the next level. Robin said that he is in a relationship and it's strictly a friend thing. Robin said that she will not be doing anything with Captain Dennis. Robin said he's very good at what he does. That led to Howard playing a Captain Dennis bit where they had him as the star of a movie.
Howard took a call from a guy who said there is some fall out with Bill O'Reilly going on. Howard said he heard that he may have exaggerated stories. Howard said that Larry King was the king of that. Howard said he doesn't know about Bill O'Reilly but he's an entertainer, not a news man. Howard said if you think he's a news man then Robin is an astronaut. Howard said he's not sure what to say about it. The caller said he just loves that he's getting in trouble because he's such an asshole. Howard played some clips that the guys edited together using Bill O'Reilly audio.
Howard said that Cedric The Entertainer will be coming in shortly. Howard said he first saw Cedric in The Kings of Comedy. He said he was in that with Bernie Mac who was great. Howard said Cedric did a great commercial during the Super Bowl that he loved. Robin didn't remember that one. Howard said he recognized him in the commercial. Howard said Bernie Mac was close with Cedric too. Howard said that he gave him a break and got him on stage. Howard said he has to ask Cedric about Bernie. Howard said it was actually Steve Harvey who gave him his break.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been talking a lot about death lately. He said he had a bad accident a few years ago and he was clinically dead for close to a minute. He said that when he woke up the doctors told him he had an out of body experience. Howard said he was alive. Howard said that you're not dead until you're dead. Howard said if you're in a coma you're alive. Howard said what he had was a dream. The caller said he was clinically dead though. Howard said he was still alive. He said his brain was still active. Howard told the guy to stop it. He said the guy wants magic and think that he's going somewhere when he dies. The caller said he thinks something will happen. Howard said he knows what will happen. He said your body and mind is like a computer. He said if it breaks what happens. The caller said he fixes his computer. Howard said when it does it's done. Robin said that he should go see the movie Chappie. Robin said it didn't do well but it was a good movie. Robin said that they had a lot of build up for that but it didn't do well.
Howard said he has a note saying that Sal is in his office saying that he's wrong about death. Howard said Sal is friends with that Long Island Medium and he has it in his mind that there is something after death.
Howard had Sal come in and explained to him that the guy wasn't dead. Sal said he was dead. He said that he wishes he could sit down with this Long Island Medium. Howard asked if he really thinks he was a turtle in his life or was he in a dream state. Sal said he hates to say this but yes, he does. He said he knows he sounds ridiculous. Sal said that he knows it's crazy but that's his experience. He said his bed levitated when he was a kid. He said he was in bed and he wasn't having a dream. He said he was out cold and felt something weird. He said he was about an inch from the ceiling and when he looked at it then his bed came crashing down. Howard said that was a dream. Sal said he was 15 years old and it wasn't a dream.
Howard said if someone was going to levitate it would be someone like him, Fred or Robin. He said Sal isn't going to levitate. Howard asked Sal if he believes this guy. Sal said when his heart stopped hid soul left his body. He said your body is like a glove. He said your soul is inside it and it comes out. Robin said he's saying this like it's scientific fact.
Howard asked Sal if he believes that his religion has it right. Sal said they all have an interpretation of the infinite life. He said that everyone's is different. He said that it's all the same but it's different and based on your interpretation. Sal said it's about everlasting peace.
Howard said he has a cardiologist on the phone. Howard picked up and the guy said that there are differences between brain dead and clinically dead. The caller said if you go under water and hold your breath for 10 seconds you aren't dead. He said your heart may stop but you're not dead. Sal asked if he has witnessed people die. The caller said of course he has. Sal asked if these people say they see relatives and things like that. Howard said it's all a dream. The caller said that he's not trying to shit in his Cheerios but most people die and don't say much. He said that they're just shutting down and their brain stops just like drowning. Sal said that Sam Kinison said that he was talking to someone when he was dying. Robin said he was having a conversation with himself. Howard played a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard spoke to a psychic and had her do a reading for the late Hank the Dwarf using clips of him to talk to her. She did a reading for a dead guy. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that Madonna will be with them tomorrow at a special time. He said they'll be on from 1 to 5. He said it will replay all day long on Howard 100. He said this is his favorite Madonna song. Robin said that she also created a dance craze.
Howard said that Cedric the Entertainer is there. Howard said he has had a nice career going. Howard asked how he's doing. Cedric said he's good. Howard asked if he grew up in St. Louis. Cedric said he grew up outside of there and then moved there when he was in 7th grade. Howard said his parents split up and then his mom raised him. He said his dad was nowhere to be found. Cedric said he's back now. Howard asked if it was when he got famous when he came back. Cedric said that he was around but his mom did what she had to do. He said that his dad would show up to get pizza and get shoes and stuff. Robin said he was more like an uncle.
Howard said that there must be a pain there when there is no dad around. Cedric said his uncle was around teaching him how to ride a bike and catch a football. He said other uncles would teach him how to roll weed. Howard said he was reading an article about Billy Joel's daughter and she said her dad told her to pick one thing she was into and stick to it. Howard said Cedric has to have real focus to be a comic. Howard said it doesn't happen over night. Cedric said no. Cedric said his mom was an educator. He said he had to go to school. Howard asked if he was popular in school. Cedric said he was. He said he wasn't the class clown or anything though. He said he was funny but not the jokey joke guy. He said he would sing in high school. Howard said he had a wit about him and that's why he chose the name Cedric the Entertainer. Cedric said he did everything so that's where that came from.
Howard said Cedric went to college and he had a few jobs like working for State Farm insurance. Cedric said he did that for 6 years. He said he was so bad at working at that. Howard asked what he did for State Farm. He was a claims adjuster. Howard asked if people lied to him about things. Cedric said of course. He said they'd have an old accident and they'd want a rental car for prom so they'd file a claim. Howard asked if he would turn them down and people would get angry. Cedric said they would. He said people with Corvettes were the worst. He said they'd get the maddest. He said if you didn't pay a claim they'd get upset.
Howard said he owned a corvette for like 10 minutes. He said he didn't fit in it. Howard said other guys on the road would wave to him. He said they'd think they were special. Cedric said you have to acknowledge the other guy too. Howard asked if he called himself Cedric the Claim Adjuster. Cedric said he didn't have to do that.
Howard said Cedric started doing stand up and he went to some club and got up on stage because he saw the other comics who weren't that good. He said he got up for 5 minutes and killed. Cedric said that's a little wrong. He said there was a professional who would borrow stuff that he said. He said he'd come back and tell him how much he made and he wasn't even making him laugh. Cedric said that guy put his name in a competition and he won $500 doing that.
Howard asked if his family was shocked that he went into comedy. Cedric said that it was shocking for his mom. He said everyone else got it because he was funny. He said his mom was a teacher who believed in the old school way. He said he had benefits at State Farm and she wondered what he was doing.
Howard asked Cedric about Steve Harvey helping him out. Cedric said he was in Dallas doing a club and he was stuck there in Dallas after driving there. He said there was no gig because he had no money to get home. He said he went to Steve Harvey's club and Steve saw him and booked him for his comedy tour. Howard said that's a really generous guy. Howard said in radio they're not like that. Howard said there aren't that many mentors. Howard said that's something else that he wanted to help him out. Cedric said that he told him to just go up and do his thing too.
Howard said things got better for him on tour too. Cedric said they did. He said he was just a comic doing a couple of clubs and then he's out on tour with Steve Harvey. Howard asked if that's when he met Bernie Mac. Cedric said it is. He said they used to do this thing in Chicago and he remembers Bernie walking into the club. Howard said he was the greatest. Cedric said he was. Howard said he gave him the chills every time he walked in the room. Howard said he died so young. Cedric said he was only like 51. Howard asked if he spoke at the funeral. Cedric said he did. He said they were thinking about doing Kings of Comedy again and Bernie wasn't able to travel. He said people were asking him for Bernie Mac funeral tickets like it was going to be a show. Howard said he was one of the most underrated comics out there. Howard said people mention Seinfeld, Pryor, Carlin and guys like that. Howard said Bernie was so great. Robin said he was starting to make it in movies and stuff. Cedric said it was starting that rise. Howard said he thinks it was Bernie's delivery that was really funny. Cedric did some of his impression of Bernie for a second.
Howard said white America confused Cedric with Bernie. Cedric said that just happened the other day. He said that they thought he was dead. Howard said black America doesn't do that. Cedric said not so much. Howard said they see a black man and think he's a different guy. Cedric said that it might be the delivery or something. He said that people would just say he's Bernie Mac even knowing that it's not him. Howard said they were on tour together so maybe that's where the confusion comes from. Howard said that tour was huge too. Howard said that Bernie or Cedric was saying if they were Jerry Seinfeld or whoever they'd be on the cover of Time magazine. They were doing big commerce and no one was talking about it. Cedric said they did arenas for 3 years. He said they were selling out Madison Square Garden and the MCI center. He said it was huge and no one talked about it until the movie. He said they were touring 3 years before the movie.
Howard said Dice and Sam Kinison would play the garden and it was big media news. Robin said they would be on prime time talking to Diane Sawyer. Cedric said he's right. Howard said that the Kings of Comedy were ignored. Cedric said he doesn't have to say it. It's race. Robin asked about the Redneck Tour and things like that not getting that much press. Cedric said they got some press. Gary said Larry the Cable Guy was on 60 Minutes. Robin said she was wrong then.
Howard said they should have had super stardom from that tour. Cedric said they needed the movie and they needed Spike Lee in it. He said that's where people started to notice. Howard said he saw that Super Bowl commercial from 2001 where he gets excited about a woman and he runs to get a beer and he comes back and opens it for the woman and it sprays all over her like sperm. Cedric that got him a lot of notice too. He said people recognized him from that.
Howard asked Cedric if his mom is still around. Cedric said she is and she's very proud of him. He said it's just him and his sister that his mom raised. He said that they're both doing well and they're well adjusted kids. He said his sister is teaching speech communication or something like that.
Howard said Cedric got a variety show on FOX and he tapped Louis C.K. and Greg Fitzsimmons. Howard said that show with all of that talent on it should have been a massive hit. Cedric said he really enjoyed that show. He said that it was fun to do and they did some great sketch comedy. He said that they always said that you have to make it to the second season and then you're on. He said that's when people know what the show is. Howard said if you can make it there then there's a loose quality about the comedy. Cedric said that Louis C.K. was different with his comedy and they had some great stuff on the show. He told Howard that Louis would come up with a crazy sketch where they'd play slaves and they'd overtake the master. He said he thinks they did that one too. Cedric told Howard about the sketch and how that went. Howard said that sounds like it should have been a hit. Howard said Cedric was smart enough to hire Louis C.K.. Cedric said that he had Greg Fitzsimmons and other great guys too.
Howard asked if he had the thought that it was the end of his career after that show failed. Cedric said that you have to walk around as that dude. He said he had to explain it to his family and friends. He said they don't advertise the show but then the show gets canceled and that's when it's all over the news.
Howard said that they were going to put the show on after American Idol and it would have been a great hit if they had done that. Then they changed things at the last minute and buried the show. Cedric said American Idol was such a big hit and they did it for like 2 or 3 hours instead of having another show on after it. Howard said that's why it's not just up to him. Cedric said that they had J.B. Smoove on the show too. He said he was hilarious. He said they had a great time doing that show. Cedric said he did a show with Fred Armisen too before he was on Saturday Night Live. Howard said it's tough to have a hit show. He said Dave Chappelle walked way from a $50 million deal.
Howard said that it's so hard to get a hit show up and running. Cedric said that once you have a hit you think you can do it again. Robin said he was on the Steve Harvey show for many years. Cedric said that he was on that for 7 years. He said Steve Harvey likes talent and he knows it when he sees it. He said they had a kindred brotherhood early on and he got him right into that.
Howard asked if he expected Barber Shop to be a hit movie. Cedric said that movie felt more authentic to him than another movie offer he had. He said he wanted to be the old man in the shop and he knew how he wanted to play it. He said that's why he went with that movie.
Howard said he remembers going to the barber shop as a kid and how scary it was to him. Cedric said that old guys sit around in Starbucks now.
Howard said he thought that the lines about Rosa Parks in the movie were funny. He said Sharpton and Jesse Jackson latch on to that stuff and come down on him. He asked if he felt he had to fight back. Cedric said he had to fight back a little bit. He said it was a character he was playing and there is some truth to that. Cedric said in private circles you might hear something like that. He said it was guys who sat down and got their ass beat for doing what she did.
Howard said you did hear people talking shit all day in the barber shops. Cedric said that Jesse Jackson made a good point to him. He said that he told him that they could take those comments out of context around the world. Howard asked if he was freaked the fuck out over Jesse calling him at home. Cedric said of course he was. He did wonder how he got his number. Howard said he was giving him shit for race stuff. Cedric said he knew it was getting more serious than he expected. He said he was cool as the character though and he was just delivering what was written. He said he gave it his own truth and that's it.
Howard asked if we've become too politically correct. Cedric said we have. He said that you can't say anything now. He said you say something and someone will tweet it out right away. Howard said with stand up you have to be given some time to be in the laboratory to work things out. Cedric said that he saw Chappelle recently and he asked people to put their phones away. He said that if he sees you taping then he'll stop. Howard said that he has to do that so he doesn't have to worry about every third word he says. Howard said he loves raw and spontaneous performers.
Howard asked if Cedric's toughest performance was going to the White House and performing for Bush. Cedric said that was tough. He said you have the political audience and the reporters and high brow stuff. He said that you have the celebs and all of that too. Cedric said he just goes up and he's himself up there. Howard said he must be wondering who he's talking to out there.
Howard asked if he still gets insecure on stage. Cedric said he does have to do preparation for things like that. He said then you can decide to be free. Howard said he still has to do that. Cedric said you have to deliver at that moment. He said no one cares what you've done in the past.
Howard asked Cedric what he does as far as writing. Cedric said he'll write some stuff and go out to a small club and try it out. Howard asked if he just says fuck it and goes for it. Cedric said he does. He said he tries a lot of stuff that people would be surprised by.
Howard asked if he liked hosting Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Cedric said he did. Howard said that seems like a dream job. He said they did 4 days a week with 5 shows a day. Howard asked why he gave it up. Cedric said he thinks they were down sizing the show. He said they moved it to Connecticut. He said they got rid of the producers and the people who attracted him to the show. He said he liked working with them and it was just going to be him behind enemy lines. He said he didn't want to go up to Connecticut.
Howard asked where he lives now. Cedric said he's in Los Angeles. He said that's where you have to be. He said his wife is in wardrobe out there. Howard said he's living the dream. Cedric said he has hot wardrobe chicks now. Howard asked if he misses being single. Cedric said once or twice he has missed it. He said he was like 35 when he got married. Cedric said that he is advising men out there to never get married. Cedric said no. He said 35 used to be old but not anymore. He said he remembers seeing Al Green on Soul Train and he thought he was like 50 but he was probably 22. He said life is long and you still have stuff to do.
Howard said Cedric's show is returning March 18th on TV Land. His show is called Soul Man. Cedric said that it's the old school sitcom feel. He said he's an ex R&B superstar and he's going back to his home town. Howard asked if he likes working for TV Land. Cedric said that he does. He said it's a small network and they do their thing and let you do your thing. Cedric said that it's not time to give up on the show. He said they need to stick with it to get to syndication money.
Howard said he has a reality TV show called Cedric's Barber Battle. He said they battle to see who can do the best hair cuts. Howard said he saw one where a guy shaved his face into a guy's head. Howard said that was kind of depressing to him. Cedric said that he feels for the people walking behind that guy all day. Howard said that show is on the CW starting April 17th. Cedric said he has a production company that does TV shows and movies. He said he's going to do a Johnson Family 2 movie. He said they're working on that. He said that they're still in talks with people to get them back for that.
Howard asked if there is any money in movies now. Cedric said no. He said all of the big stars are going to TV. He said the movie business has changed so much. He said that the movies have to do so much to get you any money.
Howard asked who his friends are. Cedric said Don Cheedle is one. He said he's a good dude. He said he's super funny and you can party with him. Howard said he has to get together with him. Cedric said Duane Martin is another friend. He said he's not a Hollywood dude like that though. He said he doesn't have a lot of famous friends.
Howard said he has a guy working for him named Shuli Egar. He said he met Cedric years ago and he asked for advice. Howard had Shuli come in to tell him what he said. Shuli said he was doing stand up and the guys at the airport he was working with told him Cedric was there. He walked over to him with the wheelchair he used to push around. He said he told Cedric he was making like $100 a week and asked for advice. He said Cedric told him to move in with his mom and dad and do the stand up thing. Shuli said 2 weeks later he quit his job and moved in with his family. Howard asked if he was just trying to get rid of him. Cedric said he was just being honest. He said that's his go to thing. He said he tells people to go for their dream and don't suffer. He said they have to just do what they want to do.
Howard said now Shuli has 2 kids and lives in an apartment there in the city. Howard said that was a beautiful story. He said he should thank Cedric for that. Shuli said he should have stayed at the airport.
Howard gave Cedric some more plugs for his shows and wrapped up with him. They went to break a short time later.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she wanted to know if Howard has ever changed the schedule for anyone. Howard said that they did the Billy Joel thing. Mariann said she must be very messed up. She said that she loves that Madonna song that Howard talked about earlier. Howard hung up on her when she started singing. Howard said he didn't need to hear that.
Howard ran down the top 5 songs with Rihanna, Kanye West and Paul McCartney at number 5. Number 4 was Ellie Goulding, number 3 was Maroon 5, number 2 was Ed Sheeran and number 1 was Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars.
Howard played short clips of each song and had Big Foot singing one of them. Howard said that Ed Sheeran did that song in the studio there. Howard played Big Foot singing the number one song too.
Howard played Robin into her news with a song parody. He said a lot of people are making Madonna song parodies for Robin. He played a couple from Eli Braden. He said he has so many of them. Howard said that must be because Madonna is coming in.
Robin started her news with a story about American Sniper being the top grossing film of 2014. Howard said he thinks Bradley Cooper deserved the Oscar. Howard said the real Oscar is the box office. He said that horrible Birdman won't be seen. He said he knows when American Sniper comes out on DVD he'll buy it. He said he doesn't want to see other movies other than maybe Whiplash or Foxcatcher. Howard said he knows he'll want to see American Sniper more than once. Howard said Mad Dog Russo went off on Birdman too. He had some audio of Russo going off on that garbage film. Howard said he wants to hear what he has to say about 50 Shades of Grey. Howard said maybe they should get him in there to do movie reviews.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Robin if she thinks that there is something racist about Howard liking Chris Rock's ''Bring the Pain'' special. He said he thinks it's the Sgt. Peppers of comedy. Howard said it is. He said that is Chris' Sgt. Peppers. The caller said it's not his best stuff. Howard said he liked that special. He said if he was racist why would he like him? The caller said he's not calling him racist. The caller said he's just saying there might be something racist there. Robin said he might be wrong. Howard said he was done with that a short time later.
Robin said that Howard thinks that LSD messed with his brain and he thinks that's where his problems come from. Robin said a study shows that psychedelic drugs do not affect your brain. Howard said he doesn't believe that. Howard said we don't know the affects of things like that on the body. Howard said it's not just physical. He said it's mental too. Howard said they don't know what they're looking for either. Howard said he took 4 hits too so he overdosed. Howard said he was physically sick from it. Howard said there is no way he believes that. Fred played Iron Butterfly's ''In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida'' in the background as Howard was talking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a poll that was done that found that FOX News is the most trusted news in the country. Howard asked why that's so shocking. Robin said that's because they're so biased. Howard said it's crazy because there isn't a news network that isn't biased. Howard said FOX brags about it. Howard said they are obvious about it. Howard said they are giddy when they see Obama fail. He said he thinks he trusts them because the anchors are so hot. Howard said it's intoxicating. Robin said she can't believe people think they're getting news from that network. Howard said he doesn't even care. He said the girls on that network are so hot. He said he watches and he doesn't care if they're telling the truth or not. Robin said that it looks like a party with that show that Elisabeth Hasselbeck is on. Howard said he'd bang her too. Howard said they get the nerdiest looking guys to sit next to those girls too. He said you know they're thinking about what it would be like to bang those chicks. Howard said those guys are nice but some of them are so nerdy. Howard said they have some girls on there whose names he doesn't even know. Robin read more of the results of that poll. MSNBC only had 7 percent of the votes.
Robin read a story about Brian Williams being suspended and how 42 percent of the voters in a poll said they want him back. Gary said he just got a note from Beth who says she'll be on Fox and Friends tomorrow. Robin said she's going to be on Turner Classic Movies tonight. Robin said she picked the movies that will be on tonight. Robin said she picked The Philadelphia Story, A Raisin in the Sun and two others. One was Born Yesterday and the other was Place in the Sun. Howard asked why she didn't pick Private Parts. Robin said she's not going to pick a movie she's in. Howard said she should have picked some Sci-Fi. Howard said that she picked some movies to get the lowest ratings that she can. Howard said she should have put on Birdman too. Robin said she loves these movies and she watches them over and over again. Howard said he wants to apologize to the Tuner Classic Movie channel.
Robin read a story about raising kids and if you should heap praise upon them. Howard said you don't do anything in the extreme. Howard said you don't get crazy. Robin read about a study that found kids who get too much praise could grow up to struggle with narcissism or over inflated egos. Howard said his parents shunned him. He said that worked. He said he's got no self esteem. He said he has zero. He said that's not good either. Robin asked if Benjy was over praised. Benjy said he was. Howard said his father barely spoke to him unless he was yelling at him. He said he became the King of All Media so take that into consideration.
Robin read a story about the kids at Oklahoma University that were chanting racist things. Robin said that the story is still going on. Robin played some of the audio of the chant. Robin said they keep finding more and more racist things that were going on there. Robin said they have audio of the house mother being racist too. Robin had audio of her saying the N-word over and over. Howard said that's not very creative. Robin said they seem to just love that word. Robin said now the house mother is saying she is in shock. Robin had audio of her saying that she didn't know of any racist activity going on there. Robin said some protests were held on the campus of the school yesterday. Robin had some audio of a black student calling for forgiveness of the racist students.
Robin read about how Harrison Ford is still air worthy according to what officials are saying. Robin said that the engine on the plane he crashed is not that reliable. Howard said maybe he thinks he's Indiana Jones or something. Robin said there are people saying that he might be doing that. Robin said he did play a pilot and now he's flying planes. Robin said they say Harrison will be fine. Howard said he met him. Robin said she did too. Howard said he thought he had something there. Howard said he went to dinner with the guy. Robin said she wasn't even able to speak. Howard said he had dinner with Harrison and Calista Flockhart. Howard said he's a nice guy. He said he was nice to him anyway. Robin said he used to take Pilates at the same place she did.
Robin said a woman was found guilty in the case of injecting silicone into a woman's butt and killing her. Robin said she is also a rap artist. Robin said the woman died shortly after the procedure. Robin said the woman faces 20-40 years in prison.
Howard said in the email they had a lot about Benjy and Elisa. Howard said someone asked for no more Benjy with about 5000 exclamation points. Fred said he thinks he cut that down too. Howard said he did get some support for Benjy. He said someone asked why Elisa doesn't cook for Benjy. Howard said someone said they are on Benjy's side in this break up. Someone said that she's sponging off of Benjy but Benjy said she's not. He said he feels like they were almost married and he's just taking care of her after a divorce. Howard said Benjy is getting nothing but aggravation out of this. Howard said that's just what people are saying. He said this isn't his opinion. He said he likes Elisa.
Howard said he had one more where the person said that both Benjy and Elisa are fucked up and it's enough of them. Benjy was defending her saying she's the hardest working person he knows but sometimes she doesn't focus on the right things. Howard said he's all nice to her there but then he goes off on her on her show.
Howard got some feedback about his complaints about working at AGT. He said people are telling him to just do it and shut up.
Howard said he got a lot of feedback about his thoughts on the William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy controversy. He also got some email asking him for his feedback on the Fashion Police show controversy. Howard spent a minute talking about that too. Howard jokingly said they're replacing Kelly Osbourne with the house mother from that Frat in Oklahoma.
Robin said they spoke about Sam Simon earlier. Robin read about his death and said he had been given just 3 months to live 2 years ago. Robin read about what Sam did for animals and how they're going to keep his Sam Simon Foundation going. Robin said Sam was a vegetarian and vegan for many years. Robin said she found a story about how a diet dominated by fish and vegetables can cut your chance of rectal cancer. Howard said tell that to Sam. Howard said Sam was a vegan but maybe genetically he was susceptible to that. Howard said maybe it held it off for a while. Howard said it is depressing to find out that a vegan gets what it's supposed to prevent. Howard said when your number is up it's up.
Robin read about how a family history of rectal cancer can mean a higher risk of breast cancer. Robin said cancer sucks. Howard said he and Robin like to take controversial stances like cancer sucks.
Robin read about the Apple watch and told Howard about some of the things that it will be able to do. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about some of those things.
Robin read a story about the Mayor of Baltimore talking about how they need to do more to stop violence between black men. Robin had some audio of the mayor talking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a man who is recovering after his electronic cigarette pack blew up in his hand. Robin had the audio of his 911 call. Robin said they say he was burned in the face and hands after it exploded as he laid in bed. Robin said he heard a humming sound before it blew up. Howard said maybe just quit smoking and stop being a baby.
Robin read a story about an 18 month old girl who survived a car crash that killed her mother. Robin said they're not sure how she survived in that situation. Robin had some audio of someone talking about finding the car and hearing a voice. Robin said they didn't hear a baby crying. They heard a voice urging them to help. Robin said they're not sure where the voice came from. Howard said maybe the mother was alive. Robin said they don't think that's the case. Howard said maybe there's a talking fish. Howard said Sal told him about that.
Robin read a story about a Canadian BASE jumper who is dead after his chute failed to open when he jumped from a bridge over the Snake River Canyon. Robin said that BASE jumping is legal from that bridge. Howard said that's shocking when someone dies doing that. Robin read about some helicopters crashing into each other in Argentina. Robin said they were filming a reality series when the crash happened.
Robin said there's some new music from Jimi Hendrix. Robin had Howard play the song that they have released. Howard said this is the shit that Jimi didn't want you to hear. Howard said there are songs that they don't want you to hear but someone saved it. Robin said he was working as a session musician in that one. Howard said that explains it.
Robin said there is new Kurt Cobain music coming too. Robin said that will be in a movie. Robin said the unheard song is 12 minutes long. Robin said that it will be on a soundtrack for Montage of Heck.
Robin read a story about Madonna's new album coming out today. Howard said he's had it for 5 days since he's interviewing her tomorrow. Robin had a clip of one of her songs. Howard said he wants to dance with her. Howard said she'll be really turned on by him.
Robin read about Snoop Dog and someone else taking a stand against the gun industry. She had some audio of Snoop talking about how he's been affected by guns with a couple of other people. Robin said they're trying to get people to make sure they're not investing in guns in their stock portfolios. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:05am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. After that Jon said they have a poll up asking which childless staffer would make the best parent. He said they'll reveal the results at the end of the show.
Jon asked Drew about that and who he thinks is the best qualified Dad out of the group. Drew said there is no perfect choice. He said he doesn't know Jason that well. He said that might be a good thing. Drew said Richard is such a great guy and he thinks he'd be a great dad other than the alcoholism.
Jon said with Sal he's talking about raising his bed and all of that. Drew said that is a classic night terror. He said that people have halucinatory visions and they're not real. He said they have all kinds of wild experiences and they insist it's real. He said they'll think the devil came to visit them and stuff like that. He said it's all hallucinations. Jon said Sal believes it. Drew said he had a real experience but it's a sleep terror.
Jon said Sal is so convinced of that. He asked how you make someone recognize that it's a bigger issue. Drew said it's a biological phenomenon. He said that they may have to show him that it's a brain experience.
Jon took a call from a woman who asked what Dr. Drew thinks will happen to Richard if he keeps drinking. Drew said he's very concerned. He said that he's seen video of him being taken off a plane in a wheelchair and things like that. He said he will have brain injury and liver problems. He said it's just a matter of time. He said he won't be able to stop drinking on his own. He said it's going to be really tough for him.
Jon said Richard seems to have it somewhat under control. He asked if he is trading off the short term for the long term effects. Jon said he's not feeling any effect right now. Drew said that it's nonsense saying that you feel good. He said with men the workplace is the last place affected by alcoholism. He said when it does affect that then it's way far gone. He said he's going to have brain problems from long term alcohol exposure. He said once that happens it's too late. He said once you cross a line there is no coming back. They went to break after that.
Jon said they were talking about Benjy and Howard played clips of Drew talking about him. Jon said Robin found him sleeping on the floor this morning. Jon said they wonder if he's doing that for attention or not. Drew said that it seems to be all of the above with Benjy and Elisa. He said that Benjy is evasive about it when Howard asks him. He said that he's not a liar but you have to listen to what he's saying because he doesn't answer directly. He said that he eventually said that he was there because Elisa had a late show. He said it's always very confusing when Benjy speaks.
Jon said that Benjy said he was 44 years old but a minute later he said he's not 44. Drew said that's why he's worried about this. He said he doesn't know Benjy but he thinks about the borderline thing and all of that.
Drew said he worked in a hospital for 20 years treating people with narcissistic disorders. He said he thinks that he can comment on some of these things. Drew was going through the staff and talking about what they have. He told Jon about what he thinks Howard has and why he believes that. They talked about Fred and how he's been able to change over the years.
Jon asked what Drew thinks about JD. Drew said that he's in the avoidance spectrum. Jon said he has a girlfriend now. He said if he tries to say something to you then he has a problem. He said he can type it to you no problem. Drew said that it's that avoiding thing. drew said everyone has little things like that.
Jon took a call from a woman who said Benjy is a guy who doesn't admit to his age and it's interesting that he says Elisa is a child. She said she likes Elisa and her skittishness. She said that there is a certain profile of comedy writer that's like this. She said that it's very common in this profession. Drew said they do say that comedy writing comes from those qualities. He said it is interesting but their relationship is very exploitative. He said it's interesting. They went to break after that.
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Drew said that some people experience people first and then take that away and experience it through them. Gary said it took a long time for him to figure out that it's okay for not everyone to like him. Drew said that he tries to help and that's all he's doing. He said that he wants to help people because he loves people. He said when something bad happens and he's blamed it really bothers him. He said that's why the Robin thing bothered him so much.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that the show wouldn't be what it is if the staff didn't have all of their idiosyncrasies. She said Sal is a good example of that. Gary said they know things about their co-workers that other people may not know about their co-workers. Gary said that whole 143 incident with Sal was something that would just be a rumor at another job. Gary said maybe Sal would tell them that at another job so maybe that was a bad example.
Jon said that he wanted to talk about Sam Simon. He said he was on the show just a few weeks ago. Jon said Sam was very generous and he didn't care what other people thought about him. Gary said you could throw shit at him and he'd laugh it off.
Drew said there are a lot of people who are in denial and that's why they don't talk about their illness. Drew said Sam was not in denial. He said he was so grateful for the life he had and he was okay with however much he had left. He said he was an amazing guy.
Jon said JD won't talk about death. He said he must be in denial. Jon said that Howard doesn't really talk about it either. Gary said that his dad had cancer and they told him there was nothing he could do. Gary said his dad smoked a cigarette and he said he was so sorry. He said his dad was just like ''Ehh, what are you gonna do?''
Gary said they need to talk about this a little bit more. He said he wasn't in the loop on how bad things were for Robin until things were much better. Gary said that there were a couple of months that it was really bad. He said that freaks him out. Jon said that Robin and Howard don't want to burden people with it maybe. Gary said that might be part of it. Gary said it's a really private thing too. Gary said he can see Robin not wanting to be treated differently. Jon said that he can see them wanting you to just treat them the same way.
Drew said that he went through prostate cancer treatments and he wanted to be a supportive guy in the end. He said that maybe Robin thought that way. Gary said Robin was in a place where things were really bad. Drew said he's afraid that Robin won't tell them if she's got something really bad going on. He said that's his biggest fear. He said he wants to be there for her.
Jon had Rahsaan come in with the results of the poll. He said Benjy got 0 votes. JD had 9 percent of the votes, 32 percent went to Jason and Richard Christy got the rest of the votes. Gary said he was going to pick Jason. He said that he is a good guy. He said both of them are but Jason has an eating disorder. He said Richard may or may not have a drinking disorder. Drew said that he does have a drinking disorder. He said there is no question about that.
Drew said there is one thing there that they have on the show and that's sex addiction. He said he thinks that's what Ronnie has going on.
Jon wrapped up and got in a plug for today's Sternthology which will feature a lot of Sam Simon stuff. Jon gave drew some plugs. Gary told a story about Sam Simon going to a fight with him once and then showing up at his kid's football game the next day. He said that was how nice the guy was. He said he didn't have to show up to that game but he did. Jon ended the show around 11:50am.
Today's show started at 1 in the afternoon so they could accommodate Madonna's schedule. Howard started the show talking about the late show start. Robin said forgive her if she falls asleep. Howard said same with him. He told Fred to play the new bumper. It was about how he's still miserable in the afternoon. Howard said he's been up since 5 in the morning. He said he's been sitting around all day. He said he's pumped to talk to Madonna though. He said he really thinks her album is good. He said that people will think he's making that up but he really does like it.
Robin asked Howard what he thinks is really good. Howard played a track from the album and said he thinks this should be the next single. It was ''Ghosttown'' from her new album ''Rebel Heart'' that he played. Fred agreed but Robin didn't. Howard asked Robin if she can imagine them making love. Robin said no. Howard asked Fred. Fred said alright to that. Robin asked what that song is about. Howard said he doesn't know. He said there's another song on there that he likes but he doesn't know the name of it. He said he was working around the apartment and he missed what track it was when it was playing. Howard said he thinks Ray of Light is her best album. He said that album was huge. Howard asked Fred what her best song is. Fred said Like a Prayer, Live to Tell and Ray of Light. Howard said he likes the remix of Justify My Love. Howard played some of that.
Howard said that he remembers playing that song on the channel 9 show. He said no one else would play it and WOR was freaking out over it. Howard said they played it and beat Saturday Night Live in the ratings that Saturday.
Howard said that he has been preparing for this interview like crazy. He said he's been listening to a lot of her music. Howard said JD was telling him that his favorite Madonna song is Vogue. Howard asked if he vogues a lot. JD said not on purpose unless he has to. Howard said Robin is wearing a cone bra in honor of Madonna's visit today. Howard said he hugged her and it hurt.
Howard said he doesn't know what he's going to talk to her about today. He said he has a million questions but he may not have the time. He said he is very excited about that. Howard said there are people hanging outside the building waiting for her already. Howard said she's been around a long time and that's impressive. Howard said she was around in the 80s, 90s and now. Fred said she has staying power. Robin said Madonna is able to go from genre to genre and define it instead of just copying it. Robin said a lot of people will work with other artists but she's always the leader.
Howard played a song and asked Gary to guess what song it is based on one note. Howard said he bets he can do it. Gary got the first one which was Holiday. The second one was Lucky Star and he got that. Gary was able to guess a few more correctly. He missed a couple too. Gary missed Like a Virgin and Material Girl.
Howard played a Baba Booey song parody too. Robin said she doesn't remember her doing that song. Howard said there have been a string of Madonna song parodies coming in. Howard played one from Little Mikey about parting the hair. Robin sounded disgusted. She said it was awful.
Gary said he just got an email from Andy Cohen who said this is the gay super bowl. Howard said he's right. Howard said Andy is having a party now.
Howard played a song parody from Psych to the tune of a Madonna song. That was called ''Sore Behind.'' Robin said at least that one is catchy. Howard said they're all good.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if her entourage will be over or under 8. Howard said under. He said they met some of them yesterday. Howard said she's coming in stealth.
Howard said he wore some nice clothes today. He said he prepared for Madonna. He said he showered today. He said he had sex last night so Beth thought that might be a good idea. Howard said he had to wash the sex off. Howard said he heard Richard showered too. Howard said his favorite Madonna song is a cover that she did of a Metal song. Gary said it was a Pantera song she did once. Howard said he's a heavy metal maniac.
Howard said he was listening to the Wrap Up Show yesterday and Dr. Drew was analyzing the crew. Howard said he nailed everyone. He was saying that Fred might have Aspbergers. Fred said he's been told that before. Howard asked what the symptoms are for that. Fred said that there is a disconnect from real life. Howard said Fred's wife straightened him out a lot.
Howard said Drew also mentioned that he's waiting to have lunch with Robin. Robin said she doesn't know when he's in town. Howard said he heard that Gary was trying to get in touch with Robin by email and text and he wasn't able to get in touch with her. Howard said she doesn't check her messages at all. Robin said she didn't see an email from Gary. Howard said he has to carve out time for her to get her straightened out. Howard said she's harder to find than Jihadi John.
Howard said he guarantees that she has thousands of emails in her inbox. Robin said he's right. Howard said he has to show her how to get things done.
Howard played some of Dr. Drew talking about what each of the staff might have. He had Drew talking about what he thinks Howard has and what the symptoms are. Howard said he's been going to therapy for 20 years and he can't get that fixed. Howard said he's tried working on it. Howard said he was so down today that he almost didn't come to work. He said he was afraid of fucking up the interview with Madonna. He said he started shaving his arms when he was looking in the mirror too. He said then he went on Twitter and read some of the comments there. Howard read some of the comments and people were calling him ugly and telling him he looks like a gross spider. Howard said he knows that and they're just confirming it.
Howard said then he comes in and someone went out and interviewed barbers about his hair. He said that was a good idea. He played some clips of some barbers talking about how bad he looks.
Howard played a clip from a show that the guys called using clips of Robin talking about measuring a penis by stretching it. They went to break after that.
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Howard said Richard told everyone that his liver is in perfect health. He said it's good until it isn't. He said it could happen next month for all he knows. Howard asked Richard if he heard what he was saying or if he thinks it's all bullshit. Robin said they tell him he has a problem all the time. Howard said he tells him that all the time. Howard said they call him out all the time.
Richard came in and said that Drew has never hung out with him and seen how much he drinks. He said things get exaggerated. Richard said he has been wheeled around an airport but that was years ago. Howard asked how much he drank in the last week. Richard said he's not drinking during the week. He said he had maybe one or two this week since Monday. Richard said maybe one beer a night. Robin said he went from not drinking to having one a night. Howard asked if he had 100 last week. Richard said he never said he had 40 a day. Howard said Richard told him he did.
Howard said Richard told him about his weekend once and he counted up the drinks and it was like 40. Richard said he doesn't count them physically. Howard said it's not unusual for him to drink 30 beers. Richard said that is unusual. Robin said now he's going to lie about it.
Howard asked how many drinks he had at a beer festival. Richard said it was just a bar and not a real beer fest. Howard said regular people don't go to those. He said alcoholics do.
Robin said she drinks wine but not the whole year. Richard was ready to argue with her but that put that to rest. Howard said that he has a lot to drink during a football game. Richard said he doesn't drink that much during the game. Howard asked what he thinks about what Drew said. Richard said he understands it's not good to drink a ton. He said he had maybe 7 or 8 at the beer fest thing. Howard asked about taking a suitcase full of champagne on a train ride. Richard laughed.
Fred asked if Richard heard that his brain chemistry is changing and if that gets to him. Richard said there's so much going on in this world right now. Howard said maybe he has 5 more good years. Howard said in 5 years his liver is damaged and his brain is damaged, would that bother him? Richard said of course it would. Howard said that he cut down once he heard his liver had a tiny bit of an elevated level. Robin said Richard would be miserable if he had to stop drinking for a couple of weeks. Fred said he finds excuses not to stop.
Howard said he heard Richard called Gary to apologize for drinking at dinner. Richard said he did. He said everyone was drinking though.
Howard said he heard that he wrote a letter to Jet Blue asking them to stock champagne. Richard said he did and they do now. He said it's Jet Blue.
Gary said that Drew was saying that the long term effects will catch up to him eventually. Howard said that's like a football player who gets concussions a lot. Howard said he knows Richard isn't going to stop. He told him to drink away. Richard said he could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Robin said she hopes that happens before he has brain damage from the drinking.
Howard said all Sam Simon wanted was to have a long life. Howard said guys who are 40 don't even think. He said they have no idea what it's like when they're 60. Robin said she thinks about Leonard Nimoy too. Richard said he enjoys doing it and he's sorry. Howard said he's just worried about him. He said that's enough of that.
Howard said Richard has a nanny cam on his Guinea Pig. He said that the thing has a tooth that has to be filed down and it costs him $500 a month to get it done. Richard said he won't eat his hay and that's what's supposed to grind his teeth down. Richard said the 500 is on the cheep end too. He said if his tooth hurts he won't eat. He said they can tell by how much he poops. He said that they have to give him medicine and x-rays and that can cost $1000. Howard said this is more work than what's going on in Gary's mouth. Richard said they can't pull the tooth either. He said they could break his jaw and then he'd be done. Howard said that's a lot of money but you should see what he's spending on these cats.
Richard said his dad can't believe what he spends on this rodent. He said they love him though. He said they can't let him suffer. Howard said he's a sucker for all of that himself.
Howard played a clip of Dr. Drew talking about Fred and putting him in the spectrum of having Aspbergers. Fred said he thinks the guy is full of gibberish. Howard said he says this with peace and love but he can tell there is something going on in there. Fred said he is an introvert and he grew up in an immigrant's home. He said that makes him socially inept. He said he doesn't think it's Aspbergers. Robin said she has said that all along. Robin said that it's just the way he grew up. Robin said he was raised by wolves. Howard said Fred used to read the encyclopedia as a kid. Fred said he was bored. Howard said he was bored too but he didn't do that. Robin said Howard didn't do anything about it. Fred did.
Howard said that Fred doesn't really have any friends and that's what makes him think that he has Aspbergers. Howard said he knows Fred pretty good. Fred said he does not. Howard said he chews on his pens. Howard said he wishes that Guinea Pig would do that. He said at least Fred doesn't have to get his teeth filed down.
Howard said Fred didn't invite any co-workers to his wedding. Fred said that has nothing to do with it. Howard said Fred is the reason he found his wife and he didn't invite him. Fred said he didn't invite anyone but his immediate family. Howard said he wouldn't have gone anyway. Fred said he'd bitch and moan if he had invited him. Robin said she's not sure why he didn't invite her. Fred said he'd never hear the end of it if he did. Howard said he feels like Fred is on another planet. Robin said he has a very active mind. Robin said he is a free associater. Howard said he's just busting his balls anyway. Fred said he knows. Fred went off on Drew for talking about people like that and for what he did to Robin.
Howard said Sal was talking about his bed levitating when he was a kid and Dr. Drew explains what was going on with that. Howard played a clip from the Wrap Up Show where Drew said that's a classic night terror. He said it's all hallucinatory. Howard said he's right.
Howard said he knows people who have had traumas and that's the kind of thing they have. He said they have all kinds of hallucinatory things happening to them. He said it's very real to them and you can't convince them that it was hallucinatory. Howard said there you go. He said Sal is a big dope and Fred has Aspbergers. Howard said now you know the rest of the story. Howard played a Whiplash parody featuring Gary playing trumpet as they were going to break.
Howard said the only way you can be a comic is if you go to a club and make people laugh. Howard said if you sit in your room and do a podcast you're pretending to be a broadcaster. Howard said this guy was saying that he's old now. Howard said that's fine but this guy is 41 and no one knows who he is. Howard said no one is going to hear this guy. Howard said it's like hearing a street performing giving advice to Paul McCartney. Howard said that people hate to hear the truth. Howard said they hate to work. Howard said they want to go in a room and make up a broadcast. Howard said podcasts are fun. He said that's fine. He said you can put them on your web site so no one can hear it. Howard said he should have this guy on and just yell at him.
Howard asked Gary what the guy's name is. Gary said it's Ari Shaffir. Howard said this guy is on yelling about how old he is and meanwhile he's 41 and no one knows how he is. Howard said he must do stand up on his podcasts so he doesn't have to go to a club. Robin asked why he cares what his opinion is. Howard said the guy was saying that AGT is bullshit too. Howard said maybe he should go on there to get some notoriety. Howard said the guy is a douche bag.
Howard said when he gets the tape he'll play it for Robin. Howard said you'd think he was Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock or something. Howard said the guy hasn't figured it out. Howard said Ari was saying that he is calling everyone with a podcast a loser. Howard said he is. He said it's fine to have fun with a podcast but you're not making money doing it. Howard said Rush Limbaugh put himself on a station and waited for the ratings to come in. Howard said that's the scariest thing to do. Howard said this guy was saying that he has to learn to talk up a radio. Howard said he didn't say that. He said he will never have to do that because he'll never be a broadcaster. Howard said this is how it worked when he started and that's how it works today.
Howard said this is such a stupid argument. Howard had some clips from the Joe Rogan podcast. Ari was saying that Howard says that podcasts are for losers. Howard said he never said that. He said he's just calling this guy a loser. He said he'd probably reach more people yelling out his window. Ari said something about Howard saying you have to know how to bring it to an ''act break.'' Howard said he never said that. Robin said Howard was talking to Elisa about trying to jump start her career. Howard said the only way you can have a career, making money, is to do it professionally. Howard said this guy is 41 years old and he's never heard of him until now. Howard said he can podcast all he wants. He said there are only a handful of guys who have gotten the audience he has. Howard said he has millions of people listening to him. He said making money must be old fashioned too. Howard said this guy can just go talk into his digital recorder.
Howard played a clip of Ari talking about how Adam Carolla shouldn't be in podcasting. Howard said of course he doesn't. Ari said Howard is commenting on things he doesn't know about. Joe Rogan was saying that he thinks Howard was fucking with people. Ari said that AGT is a garbage show too. Howard asked what show Ari is on. Howard said he'd like to know what show he's on. Howard said he'd love to see this guy's stand up. He said he'd like to see if he places in the top 5. Howard said he hopes everyone does podcasts. Howard said that would leave him at number 1.
Howard said Elisa is trying to get into it now. Benjy said she's making money already. Howard said that's good but he's not talking to him now. He said he'll get to him later. Howard said if she made money it's because of his audience. Howard said if Ari makes money it's because he's bringing him attention. Howard said he hopes Ari makes money doing it too. Howard said he has no animosity toward him. Howard said he has had a 40-something year career and people still listen to him. Howard said he's so irrelevant that people still listen to him. Howard said at 40 he was syndicated across the country and he was the most successful broadcaster in the world. Howard said at 41 Ari is yelling at him on a podcast. He said no one knows how he is and no one goes to see his comedy. Howard said his advice is right because he must think that it's good to stay at home and do comedy. Howard said he can sit home pretending he's broadcasting.
Howard said this guy sounds ignorant. Howard said he just got word that Madonna canceled and wants to do the Ari podcast. Howard said the podcasters all do each other's podcasts. Howard said if he were Ari he'd end it and go into selling shoes. Howard said he'd do something else if he was 41 and no one knew his name in stand up. Howard said no one knows who he is. Howard said on his next podcast he's going to give Letterman advice on what to do. Howard said Letterman wasted all of his time with his show. Howard said it's so old fashioned making money doing your job. Howard said that's what he's talking about.
Howard took a call from a guy and said he hopes he's not boring him. Howard said that he is looking forward to talking to Madonna today. He said she had to go out and beg people to play her records. The caller said he could do a podcast right now. He said he could record it in his room. Howard said Ari says you don't have to do it in public. Howard said the only way to do it professionally is to go out and do it on real radio. Howard said he invites Ari in to argue to his face. Howard said at least Joe looked at him like he was bizarre. The caller said Joe is a good comedian. Howard said Joe has been on TV and he's done stand up. He said he has put out records and goes on tour in front of people. The caller said that if Howard did a podcast it would be different. Howard said he has an audience so it's a different thing. Howard said there isn't a way to get an audience if you don't do it on radio first. Howard said he just got word that Ari is doing a special show on CB radio for those who have it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ari was talking shit about Adam Carolla too. Howard said Adam had a following. He said Adam followed the model that he's talking about. Howard said he was tested and had to go in front of an audience. The caller said Ari is a piece of shit. Howard said he's not going to go that far. He said he'd be frustrated if he was 41 and he's in a business where no one knows his name. Howard said he knows a ton of guys like that in radio. He said they gave it their best try and no one knows who they are.
Howard said he gets podcasts. He said if he wants to learn about playing chess he can do that. He said there are 7 people listening and that's fine. Howard said maybe Ari is a funny guy. Probably not but maybe. Robin said he has put out a couple of movies and he's been on Comedy Central. Howard said he's lighting the world on fire. Howard said go see him. Robin said he is confused about what Howard was saying. Howard said he can listen back to this and go on Joe's show again. He guarantees Joe has more listeners than Ari does.
Howard confirmed all of those things. Howard said he really does dislike all of that stuff. He wasn't sure about the hot air. Howard asked what that was about. Howard said he did have air blowing on him at AGT. Sal said he thinks that's what it was. Howard said he hates math and lecturing people because they never listen. Howard went off on Ari Shaffir again. Sal said podcasts are free and people aren't even listening. Howard said that's because they suck.
Howard said he feels Ari's pain. He said he knows a lot of people who are 41 and haven't made it. Howard said a lot of comedians who haven't made it are bitter. Howard said he gets it. He said Joe can laugh at it because he's made money. Howard said that it didn't bother him.
Howard asked Sal how his sex life is. Sal said it's fine. He said everything is good. Howard said cool. Sal said he's looking forward to Madonna. Howard said he is too. He asked what his favorite song is. Sal said Like a Prayer. Howard played some of the song for Sal.
Howard said he has to talk to Madonna about her adopted son and how people gave her shit for that. Howard said that she adopted him from a third world country and people got all worked up. Sal said he loved when he kissed Britney Spears. He said he wore off two layers of skin off his penis because of that.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Madonna is one month older than her. She said she likes the song Material Girl. Howard said his favorite is Justify My Love and anything from Ray of Light. He said her new album is good too.
Mariann was trying to say something but she wasn't able to get it out. Howard told her to slow down. Mariann read something from the paper about Madonna and Howard told her to let him take care of it. Mariann got in a mention about a dog adoption that's going on today as well. They played her out with a theme song. They played a ''House of Tards'' commercial parody and then a clip of people on the street being asked fake questions about politicians and people answering thinking they were real. They also played an Apple Watch commercial parody and some people being interviewed about the watch. There was also a Riley Martin commercial parody where they had his big hit songs on an album. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along with Natalie for a second. He let the song play a little bit longer and said he should do a commercial over it. He wondered how she's doing. Howard asked Gary if he talks to her. Gary said no. Gary said he thinks she's busy doing something because they've been trying to get her on Wrap Up And she can't do it. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said he feels like his body clock is off. Howard said he ate his lunch at 10:30. He said he was up at 5 this morning. Howard said Madonna is going to be there at 4. He said he told Beth last night he had to stay up late. He couldn't do it. Robin said she wasn't able to either. Howard said he watched the finale of The Bachelor. He said he thought Jimmy Kimmel was funny. Robin asked if he liked the bachelor's pick. Howard said he hated that girl. He said she was annoying from the start. Howard said he will bet 1 billion dollars that they will not get married. Howard said this guy is dying to get off that farm. Howard said the girl is so in love with him. He stopped himself and said no one cares about this. He said that girl is just in love with being in love. She just wants a husband. Howard said she's annoying too. Howard said the other one she chose is a virgin who looks to be about 30 years old.
Howard played some interviews they did with people on the street asking what people think of a man who watches The Bachelor. People were saying that the guy must be gay.
Howard said he watched the show and it was great. He said it's a train wreck. Howard said he watched the After the Rose show too.
Howard took a call from Ralph who was making jokes about Howard being gay. Ralph said it's not gay to watch that show because there are hot chicks on the show. Ralph also said he has pictures of Howard as Madonna from the channel 9 show. Howard said he remembers that. He said it was when she was doing Justify My Love. Howard said he put Dan Foreman in a dog collar and walked him around. Howard said he tortured him and fried his balls in a frying pan. Howard told Ralph to send it to him. He said he'll show it to Madonna.
Ralph asked if he can tell him his favorite things about the Apple Watch. Howard said go ahead. Ralph said it has a microphone and a speaker. He said you can talk to Siri too. Howard said he's too uptight to wear something on his wrist. Howard said you have to have the phone nearby too. Ralph said you don't if you have it on WiFi. Howard said he doesn't want something on his wrist like that. He said he thinks there are long range effects that he could have. Ralph said Howard is 60 so how long term could they be. Howard said for today he's 30 because Madonna is coming in. Howard asked Ralph what he needs an Apple Watch for. Ralph said he has timers and alarms that he can use it for. He said it's also a remote for his Apple TV. Howard said he will never say it's not cool.
Gary said he heard Ralph saying he sets alarms and he wonders what for. Ralph said he set it for his wash yesterday. He said he does it all the time.
Howard said that he got up at 5 this morning. He said he can't sleep later. Howard said he went to bed and made love to his wife last night. He said that you should see what that looks like. He said Beth is such a good sport. Howard said Beth had to get up and do Fox and Friends this morning. He said they were both being neurotic. Howard said he had to hang up on Ralph because he was annoying him but then he kept him on.
Howard said he got up at 5 and went through his email. Howard heard noise on Ralph's phone and hung up on him. Howard said Ralph is just annoying in the afternoon.
Howard said he got up, ate breakfast, watched Fox and Friends and then he read up on Madonna. Howard said he painted and then said he had to take a shower. He said he ate his lunch at 10:30. He said he has to figure out how to do the show at this time. Howard said he went to bed and fell asleep for a half hour. He said he was afraid he'd fall asleep on the air. He said he thought he might be zombified by the time he gets to Madonna. Robin said she was afraid of that too.
Howard said trying to figure all of this out is crazy. He said they should be done already. Robin said they are starting work as they would be finishing work. Howard said they used to do this all the time at NBC. Howard asked if he had to do another commercial. Fred said he did. Howard did another live commercial read.
David asked if he should do a podcast. Howard said he can do one. Howard said if you want to do one for free go ahead. He said don't have delusions that you'll make money doing it. Howard said you have to do radio to get an audience. Howard asked if he wants to work for free or make a living. He said you have to go in front of an audience.
David said he's getting married and he has a bachelor party coming up. He asked Robin if she would make an appearance and lick her boobies. Howard said that's too much. Howard asked if Courteney Cox is going to the wedding. David said she's not. He said they still see each other once a week or so. He said that they have ''Celebrity Name Game'' going on and they have a kid together. Howard asked if the boyfriend likes him. David said they get along. He said he's great.
Howard said it's all one big happy group. David said it is. He said Courteney isn't invited to the wedding though. David said everything is good.
David said he's opening a club in Vegas. Howard said that he has to congratulate his sister on the Oscar win. David said that was great. He said he told her if she gets flustered up there just say ''Baba Booey.'' Howard said he really did. He said that Patricia said that she's a bit of a feminist and that won't happen. Howard said he's a more feminine than anyone. David said he's trying to teach his son how to say ''Baba Booey'' as his first words.
Howard said that David has ''Celebrity Name Game'' with Craig Ferguson hosting it. Howard said he left late night TV to do that. David said Craig is great. Howard said he met him and he is nice.
David said that his club is at the Heart at the Omnia and they're having Justin Bieber's birthday there. Howard asked if he gets paid to have it there. David said he's not sure how that works. Howard said you know you're famous when people pay you to have your birthday at a club. David said Howard should do a show out there. Howard asked what he'll pay him to do that. David said he's not sure about that. Howard asked what if Robin licks her own boobs. David said that's what he was looking for.
Howard said people pay him to stay away from his club. Howard asked if he knows Madonna. David said he got to dance with her when his sister Rosanna worked with her in a movie. David said he danced and Madonna asked him what he was doing because he was being too risque. Howard said that's wild.
Howard asked if he had a chance with her. David said he was only 14. Howard said you know he tried. David said he did. Howard said imagine if he had hooked up with her at 14. Howard said that would have been a scandal. David wished Howard love and Beth too. He even wished love on Benjy. David said that he's been trying to come in but they're busy. Howard said he'll get in there eventually.
Howard took another call from Ralph who said he loves Celebrity Name Game. He said Craig is a great host and the game is fun. David said they're doing great with the show. Ralph said the show isn't on right now. David said there are new ones coming April 14th. Howard asked if they're making money on that. David said they do. Howard asked if it's millions. David wasn't saying. Howard said he'd like to know some numbers. Howard said he has to make a game show. David said he's not going to talk money. He said Howard should do a game show. Howard said people want something simple.
Ralph said that Celebrity Name Game is simple. Howard asked Robin to do it with him. Robin said she's not that familiar with that. David tried playing with Howard giving him clues on a celebrity name. Howard didn't get that one. Howard said he thinks he'd have a nervous breakdown if he had to play it. Howard said it sounds easy though. Ralph said you have to get like 10 of them in a certain time. He said David plays the game and he's not that good at it. He said Courteney is good but David sucks. David said they did win someone $20,000 once.
Howard asked if they get decent celebrities to play. David said they do. He said that they got Lisa Kudrow on.
Howard asked if they split the money 50/50 with Courteney. David said they have other people involved too. Howard said that Wheel of Fortune makes billions. David said that's been on for 40 years. David said game shows are great entertainment. He said they're fun. Howard said he was pitched a lot of game shows and he had to do a lot of work in them. He said he just wants to stand there. Howard said in one show they pitched they wanted him to make people laugh. Howard said he had to work as hard as the contestants. David said he should re-launch Hollywood Squares and he'll be the Charlie Weaver. Howard said he doesn't think he wants him on that. Howard said he might want Courteney's boyfriend on that instead.
Howard said he should do a Family Feud or something. Ralph said he should do Millionaire. He said it's just a couple of questions. Howard said they're afraid that he'll do something crazy like grab a tit or something. Ralph said that he should take Ferguson's job. Howard asked what they pay Craig. David said he doesn't get involved in that stuff. Howard said it's a good time to get Craig. He said he's desperate. David said that he's touring with his stand up. He said he's incredible. Ralph said he likes how Howard asked casually what they're paying him. Howard said sometimes he'll tell you. David said Craig is making more than he is.
Howard asked David what he does on the show. David said they get guests on the show and helped develop the game play too. He thanked Ralph for the shout out. Howard said he wants to be the fun guy on a show like that.
Ralph asked how many shows they do in a day. David said they do like 5 in a day. Howard said he's just thinking about his dinner tonight. Howard said he was going to go out but he had to ask Ronnie to drive him. He said that never goes well. He said that he has to get him another driver to drive him. Ralph said he should get someone else to ask him. Howard said he can't be spontaneous. Howard said Ronnie has to drive him home. He said he can't get anything right in show business. He said he has to clear it with his driver if he can drive him. Howard said he has to know a day in advance if he wants to go to dinner. David told him to use Uber. Howard said he has a limo that he can't use. Howard said he has to go home and have some fish balls that are in the refrigerator. Ralph told him to live a little. Howard said maybe he'll go out with Madonna. Howard said maybe her driver will be available. Howard said he has a driver that hates to drive.
Howard said he'll ask Madonna out to dinner and ask to use her car. Howard asked what happened to him. He said he was telling Ronnie he didn't know if he could drive him. Howard said he's not sure how other people do this. Robin said most people have a driver that they don't have to ask. Robin said she has to think about her driver too though. She said that she used to have to meet her driver halfway. Howard said it's like a cook who hates cooking.
Howard asked David when he's getting married. David said it's soon. Howard said his girlfriend is so hot. He said she used to be a reporter. He said she's super hot. David said they have an 11 month old son. Howard asked if she has a Twitter or Instagram. David said they stopped a lot of that stuff. Howard said she could be posting provocative pictures.
Howard asked Ralph if he's looking down on marriage. Ralph said he has to do the right thing and marry her. David said he's a lucky man. Ralph told him not to get divorced from her or he'll look like a loser. Howard asked if he got a pre-nup. David said he did but asked him to please not ask him about that. Howard said he has some money that he has to hold on to. Howard said it's an uncomfortable conversation. Howard said David is so uncomfortable he's giggling. David said he can talk to him off air. Howard asked if she was pissed. David said no. He said he's generous and smart so that's all going to work.
Howard asked if it's all signed yet. David said not yet. He said he really has to go. Howard said he's just getting started. David said he doesn't want to say the wrong thing. Howard asked if he's having sex. David said they have a very active sex life. He said it's more than 3 times a week. Robin said they're not married yet. Howard asked if he has a nanny. David said she comes 4 times a week. Howard said they must have sex 4 times a week. Howard asked who is better in bed, Christina or the Nanny. David told him to stop it. Howard asked if the love making is better with Christina or Courteney. David said ''Come on...'' Howard said he can tell him. He said they're bros.
David said Robin is the one who got away. Howard asked what happened with that. Robin said they just didn't work out. Howard asked how far they got. Robin said it was a long kiss. She said they were in the street. David said if they weren't on the street he would have grabbed those things. Ralph asked what the girlfriend's name is. David said it's Christina McLarty. Ralph looked her up and checked out some pictures. Ralph said she looks like a dirty girl. Howard told him to stop it. He hung up on him after that. Howard said he's being a douche.
Howard congratulated David on his marriage. Gary came in with a picture for Howard. Howard said David is a lucky man. Robin said it looks like David is photo bombing. Howard let David go after that.
Robin asked what they were getting married in. Robin said David and Courteney got dressed up like Charlie Chaplain or something. Howard said he doesn't think that's happening with this one. Howard said he had to take a break. He said he really needs a nap. Howard said Madonna must get up early too. Howard said that Madonna will be in soon. He said he has to get ready for that.
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Howard came back and said that in honor of Madonna they have a lot of Madonna themeed song parodies about Robin. Howard played a Little Mikey song parody and Robin said they are rushed and not good. Howard said they have to get right to it. Howard said there are so many things to play.
Howard said he has a clip of a cop who started using the N-word and yelled at a guy saying that they beat up guys like him and get paid to do it. Howard played the clip of a guy yelling at the cop can using the N-word. Then the cop tells him to get a pencil. He told him to write down his address and then said he gets paid to beat up guys like him. Howard said it turned out it was a cop and they tracked the guy down.
Howard took a call from Marianne Garvey who said that she can't wait for Madonna. Howard said she's on her way up. Marianne said that Howard may have to take a CitiBike to dinner today. She said that Bloomberg wrote a report about Howard and Sirius having contract negotiations. Howard said he didn't see the article she's talking about. Marianne said it's really good. Howard said that he likes Jim Meyer a lot. He said they've had dinner and he has talked to him about what concerns him. He said he is still excited about what's going on up there. Howard said he was reading about how regular radio is losing more and more audience while Sirius is growing. Howard said all of these things are exciting to him. He said that he loves being a part of it. Howard said as far as a contract goes they have a number in mind that they'll go to. Howard said that he knows that. He said the number might not be what he has in mind. Howard said that he knows that and he doesn't have a grudge there. Howard said talent undervalues itself and so does management.
Howard said that the one person who said he would pay him whatever it would take to get him there was Leon Black. Howard said he did whatever it took to get him to leave terrestrial radio to go to Sirius where they had 400,000 subscribers. Howard said that he underpaid him. He said that he didn't over pay. Howard said the whole company turned around and they went from 400,000 to 27 million subscribers. Marianne said they claim Howard makes $80 million a year. Howard said it's not that much but he'd love to make that much.
Howard said that's his answer and he has no idea about the article. Howard said Jim is a good guy. Howard took break after that so he could get to Madonna.
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Howard came back and said that Madonna is there. Howard said he's very excited about that. Howard said she is in the building. Howard said he has been looking for her for the past 20 years or so. He said he's been dying to get her on the show. Howard said the stats are irrefutable. Howard said she has sold 300 million records. She said she's the 4th biggest selling of all time. Howard said Elvis, The Beatles and Michael Jackson are ahead of her. Howard said she's the biggest female artist of all time.
Howard said he has never met Madonna. He said he's seen her in places but they have never talked. Howard said he's never seen her in concert. Robin said she has. She said she saw her somewhere around there years ago. Robin said it was probably Madison Square Garden. She said she was at the premiere of Truth or Dare too. Howard said that was like the first reality show. Robin said she realized that something was different about her. Robin said everyone rushed to where she was when she entered the room. Robin said she had that kind of thing going on. Howard said he gets the opposite. Howard said everyone rushes away.
Howard said that you have to love Madonna. He said he's been thinking about her for a week now. Howard said he has to get his questions out because he has a million of them. Robin told him to give her some breathing room. Howard said he will.
Howard saw someone come in and it was Jim McClure. Howard asked if she's ready. Gary said 2 seconds. Howard wondered if she'll throw up when she sees him. Robin wondered if she knows Howard and the show. Howard said he doesn't think so. Howard said he'll tell her he's a doctor. Howard said he'll say he's Charlie Rose.
Gary and Jim were setting up different headsets and microphones for Madonna. Howard said he's sure she won't come in and say Baba Booey. Gary said they did introduce him to her as ''Baba Booey'' and she did say ''Hi Baba Booey.'' Howard asked if that is humiliating to him. Gary said absolutely not. Howard said they put Gary on a web site where they hook people up who look like each other and they keep hooking Gary up with black women.
Howard took a call from a guy who took a bong hit and said that was for the King of All Media and Madonna who is the queen of all media. Robin said she really is. Robin said she does it all. Howard wondered how much money she has. Robin said she might be able to get to a billion. Howard said she might be there.
Howard asked if the caller lives in his parent's basement. Chris from Arizona said he doesn't. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
Howard asked what they're doing. Robin said Madonna is a great performer. Gary said he's having a small technical issue. Howard said that's because of the microphone switch. Howard said that Scott can go stare at it for awhile. Howard said Madonna is getting a tea cup and tea. Robin said most people don't get water there. Robin said she has a real tea cup. Howard said it's Baba Butler today.
Howard asked if Gary prepared the tea. Gary said her people did. Howard said he wouldn't touch it if Gary prepared it. Howard said Gary is going to be her chair today. Howard said he's going to tell her what song is the best on her album.
Robin wondered if Madonna is going to go on tour at all to promote the new album. Howard said she did it at the Brit Awards. Howard said she is making the rounds. Howard said she is performing on the Ellen show every day next week. Robin said that's a lot. Howard wondered how they do that.
Howard asked Gary what they're doing. Gary said they tried to get a lav microphone on her but that didn't work. Howard said he wants to get her in there. Howard told Gary to get this going.
Howard said he's running out of time. He said by the time she gets in there she'll have to leave. Madonna came in a minute later. Howard said he's been talking about her for 4 hours. Howard said she looks great. Howard said that they had to give her a different microphone. Madonna said she would have had to have messed up her hair. Howard said no one relates to that more than him. Madonna said she tends to shrink into couches too so she had to sit on a notebook.
Howard said it's great to see her. Howard said he was just reading her 300 million albums sold credentials. Howard said that's amazing. Howard asked if she is neurotic and that doesn't matter to her. Howard said he worries about how to keep it going. Madonna said she does too. She said she focuses on the things she hasn't done yet. Howard asked if there is a part of her that doesn't believe she made it. Madonna said she does. She said her manager always says she doesn't have to act like she doesn't have any money. Madonna said she grew up with no money and a big family. She said her father was hard working. She said she had to work a lot to do simple things. She said her dad made her get a job to do anything she wanted.
Howard said he had the same thing when he was growing up. Madonna said she likes to be productive too. Robin said she knows that she knows how to do what she does. Madonna said she loves it. Robin said she's not nervous that she can't have another hit. Madonna said she's not sure about a hit. She said she loves the process.
Howard said Madonna is number 4 in the highest selling artists of all time. Howard said it's phenomenal. Madonna said it's great. She said she's practically the only one alive other than some of the Beatles. Howard said there are only a handful of artists who can sell stadiums. He said Paul McCartney is like that. Howard asked if she knows him at all. Madonna said she met him once. Howard asked if it's great having friends like that. Madonna said that she gets to meet everyone but she doesn't really become friends. Madonna said everyone is busy working.
Howard asked if it means anything to her to get into the Rock and Roll hall of fame. Madonna said she doesn't care about awards and things. She said she cares about what she does and raising her kids. Howard said Robin said she doesn't raise her own kids. Madonna said that's not nice to say. Robin said she was just thinking about how hard she works and how much time that takes. Madonna said she does have help but she raises the kids. She said it's exhausting.
Howard said he was talking to Robin earlier and he brought up how much shit she got for adopting her kids. Howard said that someone wants to give these kids a nice life and people gave her a hard time. Madonna said that crushed her. Howard said that she pressed on though. Madonna said she went through the adoption but it was a bizarre experience. Howard said that she has had pressure on her a lot. Howard said she had the pope on her ass. Madonna said she doesn't care about that. She said she found it strange that people gave her a hard time over adopting children. She said they were just giving her a hard time. Howard said it seems like she's always fighting people. Howard said that's why he would crawl into a hole. Madonna said she has felt like that.
Howard asked Madonna if people think she's trying to shock people just to shock them. He said he had that. Madonna said sometimes you are. Howard said sometimes you just want to entertain people and they're shocked. Howard said he's shocked that people are shocked by what he says. Madonna said that killing is okay but not shocking someone. She said she didn't know to the extent that people would be offended by what she did. Madonna said that she was doing Like a Virgin and she came down off the cake and her shoe came off. She said she dove for it and her butt was showing. She said back then no one saw a butt. She said that she was singing the song laying on the ground and making the best of a situation. She said that she is hard wired to just keep going. She said that her manager was white as a ghost and asked if she knew what she just did. He told her that her butt was out. She said he told her that her career was over at that point. She said she thought he was right. She said she didn't do it on purpose though.
Howard said he thought he was going to lose his job when he had pressure on him like that. Madonna said people liked to give her shit too.
Howard asked Madonna about growing up and losing her mother at the age of 5. Howard said that has to be a black hole in her heart. Howard asked how you can be a mother when you don't know what a mother is like. Madonna said she tried to be the mother that she didn't have. She said she tried to be the things that she wanted. Madonna said that she makes mistakes sometimes. She said things don't always go as planned. She said her sister is a good mother too so she asks her for advice.
Howard asked about her father and if he was a good dad. Madonna said that he was when he wasn't working. Howard said he married the housekeeper and Madonna hated her too. Madonna said that he's going there huh. Howard said he is but he will drop it if she wants. Madonna said that she was their housekeeper for a bit. Then she disappeared. Madonna said it's a long story. She said it's like a soap opera. She said that she went off to have a baby with someone else and then she came back. Madonna said they were still mourning and grieving for their mother. She said they never spoke about it though. She said her father is very stoic and old school. She said he may not have had words for his pain.
Howard said his mother lost her mother and it was very tough living with her. Howard said he was curious about it because of that.
Howard said the picture he gets of her as a kid is like she was a rebel. Howard said she was also a super student. Madonna said she was smart but she didn't socialize. She said she thought everyone was an idiot. Howard said he read that she has a 140 IQ. She said she doesn't know. She said she's not good with numbers. She said she was a good student though. Howard said that she might be a genius if she has a 140 IQ. Madonna said she felt like an outsider growing up. She said she grew up without a mother. She said that she didn't have a lot of free time in her life. She said that her house wasn't a fun place to bring people to. She said that they grew up in Pontiac and they went to catholic schools. She said that was normal life for her. She said when she went to high school they were in a white school and she felt out of place. She said she didn't have a uniform there. She said she was aware of her clothes there. Madonna said they lived above their means.
Howard asked if she started to withdraw. Madonna said she felt like she was with rich people and she wasn't. She said she didn't fit in. She said she felt like a country bumpkin. She said she felt judged and she didn't socialize because of that.
Howard said Madonna graduated early from high school. Howard said then she went to college. Madonna said she went for a year and was a dance major. Howard asked if her mom was a dancer. She said she wasn't. Madonna said her parents were very musical people. She said they played instruments and were singing all the time. She said she was interested in the arts herself.
Howard said she never thought she'd be a singer though. Madonna said she didn't. Howard asked what it was like when she finally moved to New York. She said she felt like she was in shock. She said she went from the mid-west to Manhattan. She said she didn't know a soul. Madonna said she didn't know what her future was. She said she was super friendly and saying hi to everyone on the street.
Howard said he heard a story about having 35 dollars to her name. Howard said some dude came up to her and asked why she was wearing a winter coat in the summer and then he asked her to live on his couch and she did it. Madonna said she was wandering around the streets and she met him in a flea market. She said that she was dropped off in Times Square and things were much different back then. Madonna said her dad told her that he wasn't going to finance her to go to New York. She said she had a partial Scholarship at the school she was going to. She said that her dad wanted her to be a doctor or lawyer or something.
Howard asked if Madonna takes time off and doesn't work for a while. She said she can't take months off now. Howard asked if she ever takes a year off and just hangs. She said she hasn't. She said she's not sure if she could. She said she thinks about it. Howard asked if she has hobbies. She said she does and she rides horses. She said she skis too. Howard said horse jumping is insane. Howard said Christopher Reeve was injured jumping horses. Madonna said that people get hit by busses every day. She said she likes doing dangerous things.
Howard said Madonna came to New York and lived on a couch. She said that only lasted 5 days. She said she got into some dance companies and got some shit jobs. She said she worked at Dunkin Donuts and things like that. Howard asked if she got fired in the first day. She said she lased about a week. She said she got fired for playing with the jelly squirting machine. Howard said she could still be working there if she hadn't done that. Madonna said she got fired from the Russian Tea Room for wearing fishnets. She said that her legs were hidden though. She said that they had a dress code. She said they didn't like it.
Howard said New York was a scary place. Howard said she was raped there. She said her apartments were robbed too. She said the first year in New York was crazy. She said she was attacked by a homeless man one night. She said she was too nice and talked to people and that's what got her in trouble. She said one guy gave her money for the pay phone and he followed her to the phone. She said that he offered to let her in his apartment to use his phone. She said the rest of that story isn't worth talking about.
Robin asked if she ever thought of going home. Madonna said she can't go back. She said that it's just not for her.
Howard asked if she ever went to the cops about the rape. Howard said he knows a lot of women don't. Madonna said she would have had to have had an examination and go to court and all of that. She said she was already violated and she didn't want to go through it.
Howard asked what she's drinking. Madonna said she has a cold so she's drinking tea. Howard asked if she's neurotic about that. She said she is because she has to sing. She said that she never cancels or quits though.
Howard asked if she has silent days and worries about getting sick. Howard asked if she shakes hands. She said she likes Purell. Howard said he does too. Howard said she must walk around all day miserable. Madonna said she will yell at people and realize she can't do that. She said she will get quiet and ask someone to come upstairs.
Howard asked if she is miserable or happy. Madonna said she's happy at times. She said Happy is a big word. Howard asked if she ever hates doing what she's doing. Madonna said she does but that's normal too. She said that you get exhausted and you have to do some things. She said that can be exhausting. She said she feels trapped sometimes. Howard asked if she goes on Twitter or anything. She said she has an Instagram account.
Howard asked if she likes Letterman. She said she does. Howard said he watches some of her old interviews and she can't tell. She said that's how she flirts. She said she was mad at him once. She said the rest of the time was good. She said she was in a weird mood that day. She said she was dating Tupac at the time and he got her all riled up. Howard said he didn't know that she dated Tupac. Howard said that's new. Madonna said she thought people knew.
Howard said he thought he knew everyone she dated. She told him to give her the list. Warren Beatty was one that everyone knew. Madonna said this is a super personal interview. Howard said he needs to know this stuff. He asked if she was heart broken about that break up.
Howard said he thinks that her new album is one of her best. He said that it's the next best after Ray of Light.
Howard got back to the guys she's dated. He named Sean Penn and she brought up Guy Richie. Howard asked if she brings this up with a therapist about why it didn't work. She said she knows why it didn't work. She said that she takes some responsibility too. She said they just weren't right in the end. She said it's very hard as an artist to be in a marriage with a man who isn't threatened by the things she stands for and what she does. She said some guys just want a woman to stay home and stay with the kids.
Howard said that Madonna sings about her vagina in one song. He said she mentions ''pussy.'' Madonna said that's just a joke. She said she mixes up sex and religion in her songs. She said it's not meant to be a song about sex. Howard said that the kids can take it the wrong way. Madonna said her kids like the songs but they do roll their eyes about the lyrics at times.
Howard asked if she was friends with Michael Jackson because they were so successful and famous. Howard asked if he was someone she could reveal herself to and talk to. She said she was able to relate to him on many levels. She said he was a very shy person and he grew up much differently than she did. She said he never had a childhood and he was painfully shy. She said they didn't have a relationship where she revealed herself to him. She said it was about the world they were living in. She said they didn't talk about their childhoods. Robin asked if he confided in her. She said he did. She said she thinks he felt tortured by people and it was hard to look into people's eyes. She said that she wasn't judging him and she wanted to make sure he knew that. Howard asked if she ever recorded with him. She said no. Howard said that stuff can be weird. Howard said Mike Tyson is on her new record. She said he is and he was fun to work with. Madonna said that she went on a double date with Mike and Robin Givens. Howard asked how that went. She said the men got drunks. Howard asked if she drinks. She said she does but not much. She said she's fun when she drinks. She said she isn't a drug person but she has tried ecstasy in the 80s. She said that was fun too. She said she felt so ill after doing it that it wasn't worth it.
Howard asked if she smokes weed now. She said she doesn't smoke anything. She said she doesn't like being stoned either. She said she doesn't like that fuzzy feeling. Howard asked if she ever tried acid. She said she'd be afraid to do that. She said she knows people who have had bad acid trips and never came back from it.
Howard said her song Devil Pray is an anti-drug song. Madonna said it is. Howard said he wants to play some of that. Madonna said she's not judging people who do take drugs. She said that ultimately if you become a slave to it it's going to do the opposite of what you want it to. Howard played some of the song.
Howard asked how long that took to write. She said that was a couple of hours. She said they were working with a team on that one.
Howard said he heard that she doesn't like the song ''Like a Virgin'' because someone else wrote the song. Howard said he heard she never wrote with them again. Madonna said that she was irritated by the song ''Material Girl'' not ''Like a Virgin.'' She said that she was doing Material Girl as an ironic song because she's not a material girl. She said that everything she does is taken so literally. She said that she was done with the writers because they wrote her some songs that she didn't like. She said that was like 30 years ago so she's not even sure about what happened.
Howard said he and Robin were trying to figure out how much money she has. He said they were at a billion. She said she has a lot of overhead. She said she shares her money with a lot of people too. Howard said she's very philanthropic. He said most people aren't. Howard said that people are very stingy.
Madonna asked what sign he is. Howard said he's a Capricorn. Howard asked if she believes in that stuff. She said she does but not the stuff that's in the paper every day. Howard said he thought he heard a Jewish reference in one of her songs. Madonna said she doesn't think so. Howard said maybe he was wrong. Madonna said he's never wrong. Howard said he's wrong pretty much all of the time.
Madonna said a Capricorn is hard working. She asked if he is a miser with his money. Howard said he isn't comfortable spending money. Howard said he bought a painting. He said that was a big one for him. Howard asked who Madonna loves and what the most expensive one was. She said a Francis Bacon was expensive. Howard said that's an oil painting. Howard said he likes water color. He said he paints a little bit. Madonna told Howard to check out Francis.
Howard asked if that was her goal to buy art. She said that she had plans to do that when she was married to Sean Penn. She said that she was able to go out and do that. She said that was a big deal for her.
Howard said she dated Jean-Michel Basquiat. Madonna said she had some of his paintings but he demanded to get them back when they broke up. She said that he painted over them black. She said that she's not sure why he'd do that but he did. She wishes that he hadn't taken them back.
Madonna was coughing because of the cold she has. Howard said that he can't get sick. Howard said that he has Purell there.
Howard asked Madonna if her best songs take just a couple of hours to write. She said they are the best. Howard asked if she wrote Vogue. She said that she was dating Warren Beatty and he wanted a song for Dick Tracey. She said that was odd dating him because he had dated just about everyone. Robin asked if he was good sexually because of how many people he dated. She said he actually was. Howard asked if she asked him to tell her about the other women when they were having sex. She said it was dinner conversation. She said she would ask him and he'd tell her. She said she wanted to know what they were like as people, not lovers. Howard asked if he was her best lover. Madonna said she won't answer that. She said she's pleading the 5th.
Howard said that people are technically good but if you don't feel good about them then it's nothing. Madonna said you do have to have feelings.
Madonna said that the song Vogue took a while to write because she had to figure out how it was going to work with the movie.
Howard got back to the new album, ''Rebel Heart'', and played her song ''Ghosttown.'' Howard said he thinks that should be her next single. Madonna said it is actually. Howard said he heard it and knew it should be. Howard played some of the song.
Howard said it's a beautiful song. Howard asked if she gets critical over the song. She said she can but she likes the way it turned out. Howard said she likes this one. She said she loves it. She said she's shooting a video for it next week. Howard asked if videos matter anymore. She said they do. Howard asked if she misses the MTV days. She said they were fun. Howard stopped to listen to more of the song.
Howard said that they seem to be coming to the end of the world. He said things seem to be worse than ever. Madonna said they do said that the dark comes before the dawn. Howard asked if she thinks about dying. She said she thinks she's going to live forever. She said artists do live forever. Howard asked if Madonna writes a song like that and thinks about the great love of her life. Madonna said maybe she did and maybe she wasn't ready to appreciate him. Howard asked who the love of her life is. Madonna said she's not playing that game. Howard said no one is listening. He said just tell him. Howard asked who it is. Madonna said she can't say. Howard said it's not Sean.
Madonna wanted to talk about Howard being married a few times. Howard said it's only twice. She said she's only been married twice. Howard said she dates a lot more. She said she did in her 30s. She said she got pregnant and chilled. She said she was thinking about who she was bringing around her children too. She said that you have to be more discriminating about who you have around.
Howard said in Truth or Dare she said that Sean Penn was the love of her life. She said she did say that. Howard asked if she wants to take that back. She said he's not getting the answer he's looking for now. Howard said that movie was the start of Reality TV. She said it really was.
Howard said the other movie she got crap for was Evita. Howard said he didn't think people appreciated that. Howard said he thinks that was one of her best performances. Robin said Antonio Banderas was in that too. She said she had a big crush on him. She said he was with Melanie Griffith though. She said he never left his side.
Howard asked if she has ever been on a date with a regular guy. Madonna said guys do ask her out. She said it depends on who they are and how they do it.
Howard asked what she thinks about all of the girls coming up following in her footsteps. Howard said they do it like she's doing. Howard said people don't remember but she signed Alanis Morissette and signed her to her record label. Madonna said she remembers her singing on the couch for her and putting her album out. Howard asked if it bothers her that she doesn't get credit for that.
Howard said he was exhausted reading her list of things she's done in her career. Howard asked if she likes being interviewed. She said she does if the person is witty and wise. Howard said ''Uh oh...''
Howard played another track from Madonna's album. It's called Joan of Arc. Howard asked her about that song and Madonna told him what she wrote it for. Howard played some of the song after that. Howard said it's a sad song. Robin said she thought it was kind of positive.
Howard said he likes her album because it's really good. He said you have to listen to the whole album. He said that he's a big judge now and he thinks that she should stay in the business. Howard said she played drums in a band when she was starting out. Howard asked if she reads music. She said not so good. Howard asked if she writes the music first. She said it's kind of at the same time. Howard said he'd like to come and read the journal she writes in. She said that he can come and read that to find out who her favorite lover is.
Howard asked if she writes her darkest thoughts in there. She said she does. Howard asked if her kids can go and read it. She said they could but they won't. Howard said he would if he was her kid.
Howard asked about the writing process for Joan of Arc and how that goes. Madonna told Howard about how she was always a fan of Joan of Arc and she was throwing out ideas and names about what she wanted to write about. Howard asked if he was writing a song with her could he tell her that it's not a good idea. She said absolutely. She said that's what song writing is all about. She said you have to get to know the person you're writing with. She said you have to break the ice.
Howard asked if it's erotic to write with someone. She said it's a great aphrodisiac. Howard asked if she and Lenny Kravitz hooked up. Madonna wasn't answering those questions. Howard said he can see beautiful children coming out of that relationship. She said Lenny has a beautiful daughter already. Howard asked if she's a jealous person. She said she can be. Howard asked if she would get upset with Guy Richie going off and directing a movie. She said she would just shut up and deal with it. She said sometimes she would let it out. She said she may have thrown a tantrum once or twice. She said if they're going to do it they're going to do it. She said if they can be taken then let them go.
Howard said he knows what she's saying is true but it's still difficult. Madonna said we're human and that's the way it goes.
Howard asked if Madonna doing the Super Bowl made her nervous. She said it did. She said it was so complicated to do that. She said they have 8 minutes to build the stage in the stadium. She said they hire locals to do that. She said that you wonder if they didn't put it together right and all of that. She said that it's all out of control. She said live TV is crazy anyway. She said you just have to roll with it. She said that she has done Saturday Night Live too and that's on live TV.
Howard said you know that the world is going to evaluate you after a performance at the Super Bowl. She said she was so relieved that she went into the locker room and laid down and cried.
Howard asked if she missed America when she lived in England. She said that she liked living somewhere else. She said she still came back to New York a lot.
Howard said Madonna fell down at the British Music Awards. Howard asked what happened there. Madonna said she had a cape on and she rehearses everything to death. She said she broke that rule that day. She said that she had a cape made for her and she was walking down this runway and she entered in the middle of the room. She said she had to walk up the steps and the cape was held shut with magnets except at the top. She said it kept opening there. She said they tied it with a silk string. She said she tied it in a bow and they rehearsed it 20,000 times. She said that the bow is untied and the cape is supposed to be yanked. She said that she pulled the string and it turned into a knot. She said the stage director told her that she can't walk out in front of these people. She said that the stylist had tied it extra tight to make sure it didn't come undone. She said that she pulled on that knot and the girls were trained to pull the came on a certain beat. She said she thought it was going to come undone and it didn't. She said she fell and hit her head on the floor. Madonna said that no one saw her fall so no one caught her. She said she had so much adrenaline flowing that she just thought she had to start it all over again. She said it was on live TV so she had to keep going. She got back on the stage and kept going.
Madonna said she just danced like an angry matador for the next 30 seconds. Howard said that's from experience. Howard said she just kept going. Madonna said that her dance teacher taught her that she had to just keep going. Howard said she got right back up and kept going. Howard asked if they took her to the doctor. She said they made her stay up all night to make sure she didn't have a concussion. Howard said that's not the way you want to go out. Madonna said Howard is obsessing about death again.
Howard asked if she was livid with anyone after the fall. She said she was mad at herself. She said she made a mistake. She said she has pride in doing shows well and that didn't go well. Howard asked if she was upset with herself for a long time. She said she was expecting cape jokes after that. Howard said there's nothing funny about that. Madonna said she fell down the stairs and she could have really hurt herself. She said she just hit the back of her head and she was lucky nothing else was hurt. She said she thinks the angels were there to help. Howard asked if she is religious and thinks there is something after death. She said she believes in reincarnation.
Gary came in and said that Madonna has to go. Howard said he has to give her a proper plug. Howard gave her a plug for the new album ''Rebel Heart'' and said it's available now. Howard said it must be weird doing business in this environment.
Howard said you can find out more about her tour at Madonna.com. Madonna said that he should come to see her. Howard said he doesn't leave his house. She said he should come see her. Howard said he will. Howard said he really does like her album. Howard asked if she's still friends with Rosie. She said she is. Howard said they have losing their mother in common. Madonna said they have a lot in common. She said they have adopted kids and things like that. Howard said Rosie came to his house and hung out. Madonna said she's funny. Howard said that they have to talk again sometime. Howard said he wants her to come back. Madonna said now that they're friends she will.
Robin asked why it took so long for her to come there. Madonna said she didn't think they liked her. She said they said bad things about her. Howard said he said things about everyone back then. He said he was angry and that's how he acted out. He said that's the way he flirts. Howard was talking about the song and he noticed that Madonna had a grill on. She said she does. Howard said that looks good. Howard played her out with ''Living for Love.'' They ended the show around 5:35pm.
Jon said this was two icons meeting for the first time. He said you know how great Howard is an how great Madonna is but you don't know how they're going to interact. Jon asked Martha if she came off like she thought she was. Martha said she wasn't sure how she was going to come in but she did and brought it on. She said they were talking about sex and Madonna didn't know how they got there. She said that's what happens on the Howard Stern show.
Jon said they had so much to cover with Madonna. He said she was all set to go over her dating list and all of that. He said if she didn't want to go somewhere then she said it. He said that's what a lot of guests don't know. Martha said that she never heard that she had dated Tupac. She said that was new to her. Jon had to go to break after that.
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Martha asked Gary if he knows the band that Madonna played drums in. Gary said it was The Breakfast Club. He and Martha talked about a hit song they had that Martha said they still play on the 80s at 8.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that was amazing radio. He said he felt tension in the beginning. He said they settled in and there was a give and take. He said that Howard got some stuff out of her that other interviews haven't. He said he grew up listening to her and he thought that Howard was being honest about what he liked. He said the honesty came through and Howard did a heck of a job. Jon said when you see Madonna it's rare that she's sitting down for an interview. He said he thinks there was some feeling out there. He said that you don't know where it's going to go and who is going to take control.
Gary said that they've done some interviews with some icons in the past year. He said that there is a process to get them on track. He said then there's a moment that just clicks. Gary said Jason said he could feel it when that happened with Madonna.
Martha asked if Howard feels pressure to provide that interview that no one else can provide. Gary said he thinks the pressure is self imposed. He said that it's not what the audience thinks but what he thinks of himself. Jon said Howard doesn't want to leave a stone unturned and he puts a lot of pressure on himself. He said he wants to do the best interview every time out.
Martha said both of them were talking about the pressure they feel. She said that Howard felt it with interviews and Madonna felt it with the Super Bowl. She found that interesting.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Howard seemed to be lost or star struck at a point. Gary said that he wasn't either but he thinks he was trying to figure out which direction to go. He said he doesn't think he was nervous.
Jon asked Gary how he felt shaking her hand. Gary said he loved that she called him Baba Booey. Gary said that he knows most of her songs and he can name them with one note in most cases. Jon said some of the songs Howard played were in the middle of the song. Gary said he graduated college in 1983 and everyone wanted to work at MTV back then. Martha said it was the greatest place to work on the planet. Gary said MTV was before there were 1000 cable channels. He said the channel was on 24/7 and the influence it had was insane. Jon said he remembers her performance at the MTV awards and how her dress got pulled up. Martha said that she went back and watched that video and now that would be nothing. She said back then they were telling her that her career was over. She said that was fascinating.
Martha asked what the guys think about where this ranks in historic Howard Stern moments. She said she thinks it ranks up there with making up with Chevy Chase, Rosie O'Donnell and stuff like that. Gary asked if the Birthday Bash is out of the mix. Martha said it is. Gary said this was a very interesting day in the office. He said they all got in around 10 this morning. Gary said Howard was completely annoyed. Jon said they did the show like they would do it in the morning but they didn't do the news. Jon said there was so much confusion adjusting to doing the show at that time. He said it added another layer of electricity around there. Gary said he and Will go over some notes and he forgot they had to do that at that time of day. Gary said he thought it brought a different energy to the show. Gary said everyone was very loose today too.
Jon said this reminded him of when McCartney came up there. He said that she's got that kind of aura in her career. He said it's one of those interviews that you wondered if it would ever happen and it did.
Martha asked if she has that aura that a Paul McCartney has. Gary said when she walked into the green room she was very charming. Martha asked if she had a big entourage. Gary said she didn't. He said she had a couple of people with her. Gary said they wanted to get everything right there and that's what they were doing with the special microphone and all of that.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she was 10 in 1983. She said that Madonna meant a lot to her back then. She said she was in Cleveland and she has been turned off by her in the past 10 years or so with that British accent thing she has been doing. She said she sort of comes off poorly but not today. She said she felt like she was listening to a real person. Martha said she totally agrees. She said she wondered if she was going to do that British thing today too.
Gary said a lot of people get quoted in sound bytes in short interviews. He said when you come in there you are humanized. He said for better or worse people are going to know who you are. He said he thinks that's a big plus. Jon said she had time to explain things. He said she would give a short answer but then follow it up. Jon said you don't always get that time in an interview. Jon said she shed light on a lot of stuff during the interview. He said she was very up front about things and Howard respected that.
Martha said she appreciated hearing her talk about the song she wrote about being anti-drug. She said she likes that since she's a mother. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
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Gary asked if Martha ever got to interview Madonna at MTV. She said she never did. She said that she did see a lot of her interviews and she saw her at the MTV awards and remembers wearing the same kind of clothes back then.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Martha she's still 25 in his eyes. He said he's a big fan. Martha thanked him for that. The caller said that it was another brilliant interview by Mr. Stern. He said he's able to pull back that curtain and get interesting information. He said it's like he's having a conversation in his house. He said he was just having a regular conversation. He said he asked Madonna about her mother and father. He said he pulled it out of nowhere. He thought it was brilliant.
Martha said he raised a good point. She said he reveals stuff about himself and she feels for him when he does. Gary said that Madonna said that she felt like she was on the shrink's couch in there. Jon said that she also said that she didn't think Howard liked her so she didn't come in all these years. Jon said once they sit down then you realize that it's not a grilling and people enjoy the interview. Jon said Howard played some of her songs and guessed what her new single was going to be. Jon said she smiled for the first time when Howard got into all of that.
Gary said when you're not enjoying it then it never comes to an end. Gary said he thinks this just goes until it goes. Martha asked what other conversation you get eavesdrop on for an hour and a half and not get tired of. She said this was fascinating the whole time.
Martha said that when Howard looks at you he really looks at you. She said she met Howard at a book signing and he looked right at her like no one else was around. Gary said there are guests who feel this connection with Howard after something like that. He said that they want to call Howard or come back. He said it's just not that kind of connection. Martha said she was glad that she brought up why she never came on the show before too.
Jon took a call from Jenny Hutt who said that was an unbelievable booking. Gary said it was 25 years in the making. He said that Liz Rosenberg has been her publicist the past 25 years and she was able to get her to come in. Gary said that they have to convince her that the angry guy from 25 years ago is going to be nice. Gary said this was huge. Jon said everyone they had to deal with was great to deal with too. Gary said it was shockingly un-diva-like. Jenny said she had to have her kids listen to her accent but the accent was gone. Jon said that might have to do with her living htere now and not in London.
Martha asked if Madonna came in with a list of topics that can't be touched. Gary said that doesn't happen there. Gary said her people knew that they can't ask for that. Martha said that she was so awesome to come in and just have Howard bring it on. She said that she was there to play the game and she answered all of the questions. She didn't have that affectation either.
Gary said the dating Tupac thing was interesting. Gary said he went online and searched for Tupac and Madonna. He said there was video of Tupac talking about how Madonna was going to come visit him in jail so the guards let him take two showers.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to say that he loves Martha's show. He also said that Jon has his head up Howard's ass so far that he can't see that the interview with Madonna was horrible. Jon said he's not sure how he can't see that.
Jon took another call from a guy who said Howard has a great way of keeping things light on the show. He asked Gary if he ever entertained the thought of having her sing a couple of songs. Gary said it just didn't come up. He said he just wanted to make friends and get her in there. He said maybe next time around they'll expand it to bigger things. Jon said maybe next time she comes in and performs a song.
Martha asked if they think Howard would go to her show. Gary said he thinks he would. He said he went to see Bradley Cooper as Elephant Man and Larry David's show too. Gary said he thinks he would go.
Jon said Madonna sold over 300 million albums. He said that just doesn't happen now. Martha said she's second to the Beatles in all time sales. Gary said she had a 3 albums that sold over 25 million copies in a row. He said that's amazing.
Jon wrapped up the show and gave out some plugs before ending it around 6:15pm.
Jon asked Jenny about what she thought about the Madonna interview. Jenny said she thinks Howard worked his ass off with that. She said she really appreciated that. Jenny said she felt like you should never meet your heroes. She said it's better to just watch the music videos. Jon said that some people are saying it humanized Madonna. Jenny said she doesn't feel like she's being a regular person. Matthew said that's the genius of Howard. He does humanize people. He said he's become fans of people because of that. Jenny said she didn't walk away from it loving Madonna.
Gary said he was expecting a completely different person. He said he thought he was going to get a strong willed Madonna. He said he thought that it was vulnerable Madonna. Jenny said that was all an act. She said she was giving Howard what he wanted.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about yesterday's replay. Jon said they have a poll up today as well. He said they're asking if you agree that Fred has minor Aspbergers.
Jon said he wants to talk about the Howard and Fred thing. He said it gets stranger and stranger. Gary said it is strange. He said that Howard can make you feel like it's 30 years ago. He said he's the guy in charge and Fred gets mad when Howard does some things. He said what really upset him was that Howard kept bringing up that he keeps a shovel in his trunk and he says he does that to bury a body. Gary said what he used to do was shovel his mother's walk but Howard turned that into burying a body.
Jenny said she likes Fred being a man of mystery. Matthew asked if Fred has a relationship with guy son the staff like he does with Howard. He said Howard makes jokes about not calling him off the air and he seems to do it most with Fred. Gary said he thinks Fred believes it but he is one of the smartest people he knows. Gary said he and Fred used to be really good friends when he first started on the show. He said they spent a lot of time together. He said when he moved into the city they weren't that close. Then Fred got married. Gary said they used to invite Fred to everything and he would come to nothing. Gary said they stopped asking. He said more recently Fred seems to want to be more out and about and it may just be that he's more comfortable with them after 30 years.
Jon said he is friends with Fred but he knows the history of Fred. He said he wasn't there for the pilot season though. He said he just heard it.
Gary said he and Fred are going out to see the Larry David play together. He said that he can't remember the last time he spent that much time with Fred. Jon asked if it's a joke when Howard says don't call him off the air. Gary said he thinks it's a joke. Gary said Howard and Fred had homes about 15 minutes from each other on Long Island and they never called each other to visit.
Matthew asked if Fred is included in the dinners they go to and things like that. Gary said there have been times that he has been. They spent a little more time on that and then went to break.
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After the clip Gary said he got a call from a guy who said he had Madonna's sister. He said he invited them up to the station and there was something off about this woman. He said this was all before the internet so he couldn't do research. Gary said they had a newspaper article claiming that it was Madonna's sister. He said he figured if it was in the paper it was really her. Gary said she had a shopping bag full of binders and she had photos with Madonna. Gary said in his head he thought this was a sister Madonna didn't want anyone to see. He said he told Howard about the story and then he put her on the phone with Howard and the rest is history.
Jon asked when he knew it was a problem. Gary said he thought he had discovered some big secret. He thought it was gold for the show. Gary said today he would look it up and he'd find that she does have a sister and her name is Paula but there would be a picture and it would be solved in 15 seconds.
Jon asked when this happened. Gary said he thinks it was May of 94. He said they went to do the Cleveland funeral and the people there gave them an open checkbook to do whatever they wanted. He said they were told to bring whoever they wanted. He said they brought out the Wack Pack and even Paula Ciccone. Gary said they even handcuffed her to Mike Gange. He said it's like being in charge of Wendy so he wasn't able to take his eyes off of her.
Jon asked Gary if he ever thought Madonna would do the show. Gary said no. He said he didn't think it would ever happen. Jon said he's wondering if it's one of those things that people are going to think is going to be this great thing. Jenny said she wasn't disappointed with the interview but maybe with her a little bit. She said when people come in and are so honest it's great. She said she loved when Jeff Garlin came in and said that Jessica Alba is boring that was great. She said she was hoping that Madonna would do that.
Jon said he thinks Madonna came in a little bit scared. Matthew agreed. Gary said she came in that way rightfully so. He said he knows that people were sending her tapes of the show up until the day before. He said she had a lot to lose.
Matthew said Madonna is a worldwide icon and people know her from all over the world. He said that Howard is at a crazy level of fame too. Jenny said she doesn't want her to play it safe though. She said that's why she wasn't so happy with her. Jon said once Howard played one of her songs she started smiling. Jenny said that's how Howard plays people.
Gary said if Madonna had come in 20 years ago Howard may have done an interview that would make her not ever come back. Gary said sometimes it's worth the wait.
Matthew said he felt Howard was a little nervous doing the interview. Gary said he was but not in an intimidated way. He said he wanted to get it right and figure out what he was going to do. Jon said there was a lot to cover there. Jenny said that he had to walk on eggs a little bit. Gary said no one said they can't talk about this or that though.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she felt like the best part of the interview was the last 5 minutes. She said in the beginning she seemed defensive and humorless. The caller said she felt like after Howard apologized that's when she was relaxed and more funny. She said it was like they had chemistry but just in the last 5 minutes. Jon said they had to take another break a short time later.
Jon asked Jenny about Howard getting fired up. Jenny said she loves it when he's angry and passionate. She said that's where some of your best art comes from. Gary said Madonna touched on that yesterday. He said she said she loves it when they were young and no one cared about what they thought.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Madonna could have given up more and he hopes she will come back and do that. He said he thinks maybe she was subdued because she had a cold. Jon said that's an excellent point. He said she was nervous too and that can lead to a more subdued Madonna. He said even if she's in perfect health she's not going to crack jokes until Howard makes her comfortable. Matthew said that she has never sat down with Howard before and that could be part of it. He said he was surprised that sex didn't come up that much during the interview. He said she wrote a book called Sex. Gary said that was in 1994 though. Jenny said it was sort of relieving that Howard didn't take that route.
Gary said he was more interested in the mechanics of her life. He said if she wants to go out with a guy he wants to know what it's like for her. He said she's thinking about if the guy is using her or whatever. Jon said Howard did ask if a guy can ask her out. She told Howard that they can but it depends on who they are and what they do if she'll go out with them.
Jon said he thinks there were a couple of moments when they did talk about her dating and things like that. He said the Tupac thing was something that they didn't know about. Gary said the press picked up on it today. He said Jason told him it's blowing up on Twitter. Gary said it came up on a bunch of different web sites. Gary said that this is the biggest platform that it's been picked up on.
Jon asked Jenny about her husband, Jason Biggs, coming in next week to sit in. Jon said he's excited to have him in. Jenny said he's been working but he is ready. She said he'll be a total ham and she hopes they like her better than him. Matthew said they should have a poll up that day asking who is better, Jenny or Jason.
Gary asked if she would tell Jason if he tanked it that day. Jenny said she wouldn't but she would do a little jig inside. Matthew said he likes that she can come in there and not jam him into her conversation like the Benjy and Elisa thing.
Jon had Rahsaan in with the results of the poll. He said that 42 percent of the people said they think Fred does not have Aspbergers. 29 percent said they were too scared to vote. The rest said yes. Jon wrapped up, gave some plugs and ended the show around 12:10pm.
Jon said they have a poll up today that asks if you agree with Howard about what he has to say about podcasts. Jon said he and Gary may not agree with Howard on that. Gary said there are very few he likes. He said there are millions out there. He said they're not completely useless though. Gary said Howard said that there are some people who are listening to podcasts. He said if you want to be a professional broadcaster then it might not happen for you. Jon said that Matthew hosts a podcast and he has a ton of people listening. He asked if he thinks Howard is off base there. Matthew said he understands where Howard is coming from. He said he's a traditionalist. He said it's not the most likely career path to success. Matthew said that they have done very well with theirs but the barrier to entry for podcasts is much lower. He said there are a lot of voices out there and there are some people who started with no audience at all and they have gone on to make a good living from it. He said it happens on YouTube and on podcasts. He said you can make a living at it but the odds are not very good. He said it can happen though.
Gary said Matthew does a podcast but he's not a podcaster. He said he's a broadcaster. Gary said that's a way for Matthew to talk to the fans who want to hear him when they can't get enough of him on a Sunday morning.
Jon said Howard likes to paint and he will listen to a watercolor podcast but he knows he's only one of a handful of people who listen. Jon said he listens to a lot of podcasts but it's not a mass thing. He said he understands what Howard is saying about the podcasts. He said the other thing is that people are not changing the channel when they turn on your podcast. Matthew said there are ways to make a living with it.
Matthew said that Howard might be too mainstream now. He said that he has all of these people coming on the show now and he's not doing the things that he used to do. He said that this podcast thing might be just something he wanted to rant against. Jon said there are plenty of things for him to rant against. Gary said Howard is more respected but not as respected as he should be. He said there are still people he has trouble getting on the show.
Gary said that Howard heard about that Ari guy and he could see the wheels spinning in his head about whether or not to talk about him and make him more famous. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon asked Matthew about that. Matthew said Howard angry is a funny Howard. He said you tune in to hear the show and about his life so he's not sure why people complain.
Jon took a call from a guy who said they hit it out of the park with the Madonna interview. He said it seemed like she was very friendly. Jon said that Gary was introduced to her as Baba Booey. Gary said she came in with a few people and she did say hello. Gary said they go out of their way so the guests are not bothered. He said they don't take photos or anything like that. He said he told her what it was going to be like in the studio and that's about it. He said no one bothers Howard for anything. He said he thinks that Madonna was looking to get ready too so he didn't bother her.
Jon asked Matthew if he got the Madonna treatment there. Matthew said no one bothered him for pictures but that might be because no one wanted any. He said he did bother Richard and Sal for some though. Matthew asked Gary about the time change and how that all came about. He wondered how long he's been in negotiations with her people. Gary said it's been 25 years in the making. He said the publicist became an enormous fan of the show and they went out to lunch about 20 years ago because she just wanted to meet him. Gary said he called around the birthday show and things like that. He said Madonna doesn't do any interviews unless she's doing press. He said this just happened to work out. The time change worked out for everyone. He said it was just the right thing to do.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about the technical issues before the interview. He said it seems like there are issues before a lot of the big interviews. He asked what they were. Gary said that it wasn't a technical issue. He said it was a change in the way they had to do something and they had to do it in a small amount of time. Gary said it only slowed them down about 2 minutes.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about who they have to worry about most when a guest comes in. Jon said he thinks Sal is pretty tough to beat. Gary said he joked with Sal the other day when Madonna was coming up. He said that he joked with him that he knew he'd behave. He said he was making him nervous walking the hallways. Jon said that Richard does it in the right way. He said he'll come and asked if he has a chance at all. He said that can turn into a bit. He said Richard will find a way to meet someone without breaking any rules. Gary said that Jonah Hill asked where they sit so he can go meet them. He said that's fine but he has to keep Sal bottled up because of the time he had a discussion with Jon Stewart.
Jon asked Matthew about that. Matthew said that he knows where Howard wants to go with some of the interview but he has talked to the guys about what he wants to bring up. He said you want to be as interesting as you can. He said he works for ESPN which is part of Disney so he has to walk a fine line there too. He said it's a nerve wracking thing to be a part of. Matthew said he was much more comfortable the second time he was on. He said you are nervous though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said they asked people to tweet them ideas for guests. He said there are athletes that transcend sports. He said there hasn't been a lot of that. Gary said he has a guest coming up hopefully soon and that person is Madonna caliber in sports. Gary said that is the key for Howard. He said he goes back to the Mickey Mantle interview because Howard didn't know anything about the guy and Mickey liked that. He said this will be a fun interview and none of that bullshit goes on there. Jon said the best interviews can be when they're not talking about sports. Matthew said that they have been asked the same questions over and over again. Matthew said there is no question about it that it's good to go in another direction and that's why Howard gets the guests he gets. Jon said they had to take another break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary why they don't announce guests coming up ahead of time. He said he's a hardcore fan and he'd like to hear the guests coming up for the next week. Gary said Howard does announce guests sometimes. He said that with the big guests they did let people know a couple of days before. He said it's Howard's job to tell you and not his. Gary said he thinks that Howard takes his time promoting big guests because back on terrestrial radio they would book a guest and the other radio stations would call the guest and tell them not to go on their show. He said they'd threaten not to play their record. Gary said that gives people the opportunity to call the person and tell them not to do the show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Howard treats people on the show like shit at some point. Then he'll praise them. He said he thinks that Benjy is hysterical. He said he'd like to know what they think. Jon asked Matthew what he thinks. Matthew said that Benjy is very polarizing. He said he's a Benjy fan and the Benjy and Elisa stuff is interesting. He said that he's with Howard on that whole thing with the money. He said he's sort of on Benjy's side with him supporting her all this time. He said it's been really interesting.
Jon said with the Sharknado thing Howard liked that. He said Benjy has gotten more of that over the years. Jon said that Howard would not pay him any mind in the past. Gary said he thinks Benjy is funny but the podcast stuff that Howard played should be credited to JD because he had to listen to the whole 9 hours of it to find the good stuff.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked if there is any chance Howard would interview the president since he was on Jimmy Kimmel. Jon asked Gary if that would happen. Gary said he'd love for that to happen. He said they're always working on stuff like that. He said he'd love to get Obama on the show. Matthew said he thinks that if any guy was going to do the show it would probably be Obama. He said he seems like the guy they might be able to get. Gary said he would love to get Bill Clinton in there. He said he thinks he'd be awesome on the show.
Jon said he has the poll results. Rahsaan came in with the results. He said 70 percent say no and they think it's the future of broadcasting. Matthew said he thinks that people like the on demand kind of stuff. He said that's what is great about the Sirius app. He said he understands Howard's point too. He said Howard went on that rant against the podcast thing but it started with the Elisa podcast and he was yelling at Benjy about Elisa. Gary said when his kids were in junior high and they'd go skiing he'd see them in the back of the car watching a movie. He said he wondered how they can enjoy that on such a small screen. Gary said his kids think it's perfectly acceptable but he thinks some things should be seen on a big screen.
Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:50am.