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Howard started the show talking about how much he's got to do this morning and how flummoxed he is over it. He said they have a big day and he has Marfan Mike toe tell them who is on. Howard played the clip of Mike saying they have Metallica coming in. Howard said Mike is very chatty this morning. Robin said she's not sure if anyone else heard what he was saying. Howard said their old friends Metallica will be in to do a couple of tunes. Robin said that's awesome. Howard said the studio is packed with equipment. Robin said they can barely get in the studio with so much equipment. Howard said they have their own amps there. Fred said they may be Mesa Boogies. He went over to check. Fred said they're Ampeg. He said they have their own covers over them. Howard said it's scary when Fred gets up. He said you don't know what he's going to do. Fred asked when he's ever done something.
Howard let out a belch and blamed it on Benjy. He said Metallica is coming by. He said it begs the question if they should let Richard see the guys. Howard said last time he asked him to quit drinking for a month but he refused to do that. Howard said Richard told Gary on Wednesday that if he let him in the studio he would lick Gary's penis. Howard said Gary should have said go ahead and do it and then say he had no influence to get him in the studio.
Howard said he's going to say to Richard to quit drinking again. Howard said last week he flew to Germany for Oktoberfest. Howard said that's a full day of flying on Wednesday. He came back yesterday. Howard said he had a couple of days over there. Howard said Richard drank like 20 beers on his first day there. Howard said he's completely ruddy today. Howard said then he came home and went to a bar where they only have Kansas City Chiefs fans.
Howard called Richard in and said he walks like an ape. Howard said he's not walking normal. He said there's something going on there. He rocks from side to side. Howard said only people with Down Syndrome walk that way.
Howard said Richard had about 20 liters of beer a day and that equates to about 20 beers. Richard said he wrote it all down to keep track. Howard asked if he was drunk from that. Richard said he was pretty drunk. He said he would start in the morning and be in bed by 8 or 9. He said the beer is so fresh and good over there. He said the whole vibe there is great. He said it's the ''most funnest place ever.'' Robin said it is not. She said she's been there before.
Howard said Richard was saving up money for something and he blew it all on that trip. Richard said they were saving up for a house and that fell through so they decided to go to Oktoberfest. Richard said the house appraisal came in too low and the owner didn't come down on the price. Howard asked if they were keeping within what the other houses were in the neighborhood. Richard said they thought that it was reasonable. He said the kitchen was kind of old so they would have had to replace that.
Howard asked about what it cost to fly there. Richard said it was maybe $2,500 or so. Howard said he went here on Wednesday but he hates to fly. Richard said he had some drinks on the flight. He said it was an 8 hour flight and when they got here he went right to Oktoberfest. Howard said he hit the ground running. Richard said he fell asleep on a Ferris wheel. He said the woman there had to wake him up.
Howard said Richard just had to have the beer over there. Richard said he wasn't there long so he had to. Howard asked if he drank the whole time. Richard said he drank and peed and sang too.
Howard said Richard flew home and went right to a bar when he got in. Richard said he drank there too. He said he loves American beer too. Howard asked about a park he went to just to puke. Richard said there were a lot of people there doing that. He said he didn't throw up himself. He said there were other people there throwing up.
Howard asked Richard about seeing one black guy at Oktoberfest. Richard said he did see one. Howard asked if it's true he said he would lick Gary's dick to sit in with Metallica. Richard said he said that this morning. He said he wants to sit on the couch to watch. He said he won't say a peep. Howard asked what he had to do last time. Richard had to wear a smegma moustache from Sal last time. He said it was white pieces of cheese from inside his pouch last time. Howard sounded like he was getting sick. Richard said Sal was suffering that time too. He didn't clean his dick for a week.
Howard said Richard played with a couple of the guys from the band. Richard said he played with Kirk and Robert two years ago.
Howard played a clip of Richard singing some song over at Oktoberfest. Howard had audio of a Polka band that Richard recorded over there too. Howard laughed when he heard that. Howard played audio of Richard at a beer chugging thing. Richard said you have to have balls to do this. He said if you chug a liter of beer you get cheered. If you don't do it fast enough they throw bread at you. Howard said you'd have to give him a pretty good prize to do what Richard did.
Howard told the guys to think of something crazy for Richard to do. Richard was ready to lick Gary's dick. He said he'd lick the head of it and Gary would like it. Howard said Gary would say to his wife he went to work straight and came home gay. Howard said he bets Gary would get hard getting licked. Howard told Gary to get in there. Gary didn't come in. Howard said he might have him put Gary's toe in his mouth. Gary said he should do that. Richard said he's going to puke just thinking about that. Howard said maybe he can eat Sal's booger. Richard started to dry heave. Howard said he needs his booger. Richard was dry heaving every time he heard that.
Howard said he has to eat his booger to sit in. Richard dry heaved. Sal said he'll blow a snot rocket for him. Richard dry heaved again. Richard said he had a bad experience with boogers. He said he had a friend who had an older brother who gave him a soda and at the bottom of the soda there was a huge hocker in there. He said he has nightmares from that. Howard said he has to eat Sal's booger to stay in there. Howard said Richard always has a story about a horrible experience he had.
Howard asked Richard if he would rather swallow Gary's load or his booger. Richard said he might have to go with the load. He said that he can't do that booger thing and he's never had a bad experience with a load.
Howard said Metallica are going to be doing 3 songs. Richard said their new song is the best. Howard said it really is great. Howard said they're so good. Howard said last time they were there they did ''One.'' Howard played some of that performance. Howard said Richard was on the couch beating off.
Howard said he was watching a documentary called ''It Might Get Loud'' and it was so great watching Jimmy Page talking about how he came up with Kashmir. Howard said he has to ask the boys about the process coming up with songs. Howard said James and Lars must come up with them. Richard said Kirk does too.
Robin mentioned a Beatles documentary where Paul talks about writing songs with John Lennon. Richard said he watched a documentary about Master of Puppets on the plane.
Howard asked Richard what the greatest beer was he had over there in Germany. Richard said it was something like Hacker-psoor. Howard said he doesn't know how he has time to go to the bathroom. Richard said you have to hold it in a long time the first time and it lets you hold it in longer the rest of the time you're there. He said that's called breaking the seal.
Howard said they'll come up with something for Richard to do to get to sit in there. Richard said that would be great. Howard asked if he can drink like 10 beers before he breaks the seal with his pee. Richard said sometimes he can. Howard said he's a professional beer drinker for sure.
Howard let Richard go and watched him walk like a caveman. Howard said he really does walk strange. Howard said he wishes he didn't leave. He said he has his German drinking buddy on the phone. He picked up and the guys were playing Hitler speech clips. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Donald was talking about the color of his skin tone and had the guys turn on his tanning booth. Trump told Howard to ask him any question he wants. Howard asked what they should do with the Syrian refugees. Trump said the important thing to remember is that Hillary has a big, fat ass. Howard asked about Social Security. Trump said America can't afford a candidate with flapjack titties.
Howard asked Trump if he can give him some advice. He said he's not really answering the questions. Howard asked him another one and fake Trump said Rosie O'Donnell is a fat pig. Howard said he's not answering the questions. He's just insulting people.
Howard went through some other questions about ISIS, Trade Policy and things like that and Trump's answers were about anything but the things he was being asked about.
Robin kept asking questions and Trump kept telling her to be quiet. Trump even farted into the phone at one point. Howard said he'll be watching tonight. Trump farted him ''Make America Great Again'' before Howard let him go.
Howard said Jewel covers Eleanor Rigby and it's great. Howard said she was on the Wrap Up Show last week with Gary and Jon. He said Living Color does a song too. Howard said he loves those guys. He said OAR does a song too. He said the special is phenomenal. He said they have 14 artists who did the album just for them and it's going to be on Howard 101 starting October 7th. He said they'll play it for 10 straight days at different times. Howard said it's just great.
Howard asked Steve Brandano how they picked the songs for the bands to cover. Steve said the artists picked the songs. He said everyone was pumped to do it too.
Howard played a clip of Cheap Trick covering ''She Said She Said.'' Howard said he gets sad listening to that track. He said music has that effect on him. He said he was painting over the weekend and every time this track came on he got weird. He said he's not sure why that is. Howard said it triggers something in him. Robin said Howard is so suppressed and music hits you on a subconscious level. Howard said he's been able to block all emotion in his life and something like this gets to him. He said that he hasn't cried like that since The Bachelor finale.
Howard said he was really honored that all of these bands did this for them. Steve said Cheap Trick was the first band to sign on to do it. Howard said John Lennon wrote the lyric for that song. He said he supposedly got stoned with Peter Fonda and he told a story about dying for a short time when he was a kid after shooting himself. Howard said that's where some of the song came from. Howard played the song again and said he'd try to get through the whole thing this time. He let the song play for a bit longer this time.
Howard said that is good. He said Rick Nielsen told him that Robin Zander is the only guy he would want fronting his band. Howard said he's so good.
Howard said he likes that band OAR too. Howard asked what's up with them. Steve said they came up and did the song in the studio there. Howard played some of their cover of ''I Want to Tell You.'' Howard said they're good. He let the song play for a bit. Howard said that's going to be on Howard 101 starting next Friday, October 7th. Howard said Steve did a great job with the special. Howard said he's very excited about all of this. He said this is what gets him turned on.
Howard said he was going to ask Steve about this group from New Orleans that covered a song. Steve told Howard about the cover of ''Yellow Submarine'' and they put a New Orleans spin on it. Steve said they're called Madison Ward and the Mama Bear. Howard said they're really good. Steve said the special is kind of all over the place which is cool. Howard said there was another artist who did a song with Sheryl Crow. Howard said she did ''Good Day Sunshine'' and did a great job with that. Howard played some of that performance too. Howard said he likes the way she changed it up a bit.
Howard wondered if Paul McCartney would like this. Robin said that's what she was wondering. Howard said he was on the phone with Paul for about 3 hours yesterday talking to him about it. He was joking around. Robin said they had to craft songs in about 3 hours to get them recorded. Robin said these are the songs that came out. Howard said Robin is a Beatles expert all of a sudden.
Howard said they asked Ringo if he was into it and all he said was ''Peace and love, peace and love.'' Howard let Steve go after that. Howard said he has a nice hair cut there. He said he looks very professional and he has a pep in his step unlike Richard who walks like a cave man. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard said he has a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' song parody to the tune of a Metallica song. Howard played that for Robin. Howard said he never thought this would be this huge. He said Gary is even getting that yelled at him instead of Baba Booey.
Howard had a TNA wrestling clip where they had a match between a man and a kangaroo. Howard played the clip and they were calling the fight and someone threw in a ''Hit 'em with the Hein.''
Howard said he has a clip of a fan at a Pirates-Cardinals game yelling out ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard had another one from a Blue Jays game. Howard said in baseball it's much harder to do. Howard said you can hear him back there though. Howard had another one from a the Orioles-Blue Jays game. They're pretty clear. Howard said he has yet another one from that game.
Howard asked if Jon is still annoyed by this or is he liking it now? Howard played a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' song parody before he got Jon's answer. Jon came in and said he feels about the same about it as he did. Howard said Jon is annoyed by Jason and he'd erase it all if he could. Jon said this stuff is all funny but he doesn't like how it was brought about. He's still hoping it goes away.
Howard said he has an announcer for a Youngstown vs. West Virginia football game doing a ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard said this is unbelievable. Howard said it really is. Jon agreed. Howard said he has another one from a BMW championship. He played that clip and someone yelled it out when the golfer took his swing.
Howard said he has a caller to a podcast doing a ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard said he has another one where Bob Harper from The Biggest Loser said it on the Andy Cohen show.
Howard said ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' is all over the place. Howard played another ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' song parody. He said this is on the NFL network on ''Good Morning Football.'' Howard played that and they said ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' a couple of times. Howard said he has another NFL network mention.
Howard said it's everywhere. Howard asked why people are so fascinated by it. He said maybe it's because Jon hates it. Jon said that Howard is in love with it too. Howard played another song parody. Howard said it's really everywhere.
Howard said you know Jason must love it. Jason said he loves every minute of it. He said he likes how Jon claims he likes these things. He asked Howard if Jon is laughing. Howard said he is not. Howard said Natalie Maines is out on tour and she got in a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' in Indianapolis. Howard played a clip of Natalie doing it on stage and someone in the crowd doing one too.
Howard played another ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' song parody. Howard said he has another clip on a show where this guy Ami gets in a ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Howard said there it is. He said it's weird hearing it in a political situation.
Howard played another song parody and a bit where they had the ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' mentioned in a Spanish language show. Howard said he hopes it gets there some day.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he got picked up for not paying child support and when he was in jail someone yelled out ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' He said he had to call Howard about that. Howard said he heard that Charles Manson wrote it in feces. He said he has to congratulate Jon on that. He let Jon go and said Jon tried ignoring this when it started but it got the guys to do it even more. Robin said he tried to pretend to avoid it and that didn't work. Howard said it's not working out well for him. Howard played another ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' song parody.
Howard said companies spend millions trying to come up with catch phrases and they can't even come close to this grassroots ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' thing.
Howard asked if Robin is going to watch the debate tonight. Robin said she thinks she has to. Howard said they think a hundred million people might watch this one. Howard said he can see why. He said Trump is such a wild card that he could do anything. Robin said this is a reality star up against a real politician.
Howard played a clip of Underdog Lady announcing who they have coming on the show today. She said you're listening to the scourge of society and Metallica will be on the show. Robin said she doesn't even know how to say Metallica.
Howard said they have a new phony phone call to the Live with Kathy show. Howard said they might be the only listeners of that show. Howard said they pretended they are a fishing show and they say that Kathy called their show and she argues with them about that. Howard played the clip and Kathy picks up and the guys are doing a radio show intro for their caller and Kathy argues that they called her and she's not calling them. They argued that she was calling their show.
Howard said he loves that Kathy. He said he doesn't know who she is but he has to interview her. Howard said they can get through to her show whenever they want. Howard said they took clips from that show and then called into a right wing political show. Howard played that clip next. In that one the guys called the political show and had Kathy asking how it's going and things like that. They had her saying that they called her radio show. The host argued that he didn't call her. He asked what show she was on. She said it's the Live with Kathy show and the host asked what the hell that is. Kathy asked him not to call in. He said he's not calling in. He was yelling at her and said he knows she's screwing with him and he's not happy about it. He said he's on his own friggin' show. He asked her to make a point or get off his show. She didn't have anything to say so he called her a cunt. Howard asked what the chances are of Trump calling Hillary a cunt. Howard said guys can get aggravated and call women a cunt. Howard said these guys must be doing shows from their living rooms. Howard said it's a vast sea of guys talking to themselves. He said it's the greatest thing for them. Howard said they have the opposite ratings of their show.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who said he'll lick Memet's dick if he can come to the gathering of the stupid. Howard said Janks is in the Wack Pack but he's normal. He said this is a compliment. Howard said he's saying he's too normal. Janks said he's just been low key. He said he's still wacky. Robin said you can't prove it. Robin said Beetlejuice can't be anyone but Beetlejuice. Janks said his pictures is in his book as being in the Wack Pack. Janks said he'll always be in it. Howard said he didn't say he's not. He said he has done wacky things. Howard asked why it's so important for him to be in it. Robin said he didn't even call in for a while. Janks said he did that so the news organizations would think he was retired.
Howard said it's a complementing to say he's almost normal. Janks said he was the first one. Howard told him to get over it. Howard said he has to chill out. Howard said Janks isn't that funny. He said his calls are funny. Janks said he should have a vote. Howard told him to go ahead and vote now. Janks said he wants in. Gary said they already ruled on this and Janks isn't in. Janks said he'll lick Memet's dick to get in there. Howard said he has to lick Robin's vagina since he's gay. Janks said he would do that too. Howard said he'll think about it.
Howard said Marilyn Manson was saying that he's not going to vote. He said that he doesn't like people who don't vote. Howard said he did say he voted for Obama and he said that will be his last vote. Howard said he didn't have a rationale for that. Howard said he's not sure what his point was. He didn't understand it. Robin said when people are going to die for little countries to be able to vote we shouldn't take it for granted. Howard said everyone should vote, even Marilyn Manson.
Howard said he has to go. Janks told Howard to think about it. Howard said Janks takes his rights seriously. Janks said he was in the first wave of Wack Pack. Howard said he knows. Howard said he doesn't know why people don't take his initial ruling.
Howard took a call from the kid Flamin (Slayman) from Kuwait. Howard said the first Wack Packer was probably Irene the Leather Weather Lady. Howard said she was the real deal. Howard said they go to Washington they had some wacky types too. Robin said even in the NBC days they had people like Froggy and people like that. Robin said Janks can't say he was the first.
Howard said hi to Flamin but he wasn't answering. Howard said Flamin has been listening to the show since he was like 5. Howard said he wants to get out of Kuwait. Flamin was there but it seems like he didn't hear Howard. Howard said he did hear him. Howard wondered what's going on. He gave up on the call.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he watches the show Quarry but there's a lump on a guy's head that makes him mental. Howard said he thought he was the only one watching the show. The caller said that guy's forehead has to go. Howard said he has a giant lump on his forehead. He said it's kind of cool to see a leading man with that on his head but you do want him to get rid of it. Howard said it makes him look real. The caller said he loved Banshee and this show looks like it could be really good but they have to get rid of that lump. Howard let him go after that.
Howard put the harmonizer on his voice and talked about that with Robin. He claimed to be a 15 year old girl even though his voice was really deep. Howard talked about the Weiner thing with Robin as if he was the 15 year old. He said he's actually a different girl and not the 15 year old. Howard said he got to Weiner by telling him her name was Labia. She said she could be Mary Labia Weiner. Robin asked if she found Weiner attractive at all. Howard said she lived in a swamp in Florida so yes. She said that she thought he was Freddy Kruger. Robin asked if she's going to go online and try to catch more people like this. She said she is going to do that. She said she's fully shaved and she's very attractive. She said the voice may throw you off.
Robin asked what kind of things Anthony Weiner would ask her. Howard went through some stuff he might say to her. He said Weiner just texted her a picture of his veiny wiener. Robin asked if Weiner ever talked politics with her. She said he did. She said she'd ask about foreign policy and he'd talk about his cock for 20 minutes. Howard had the girl queefing and said that Weiner told her that his wife Huma takes massive shits. Robins said that's horrible. Robin said she heard he talked about his son with her too. Howard said he likes to dress up his penis in different outfits. She said one time his penis was wrapped in a Ukrainian flag. She said he dressed it in a tuxedo once too.
Robin said she understands the girl got on video chat with him once too. Howard, as the girl, said she did. She said she did everything he told her to do. She said she fell in love with him when he did something very special for her. She said one day he dressed up his balls like a pirate. She said this was someone who really cared about her. She said he had a patch over one ball and a parrot. She said it was wonderful.
Howard said that she and Anthony were sexting and he stopped masturbating when she told him that her mother died. She said she stopped for an entire 10 seconds and that was very human of him. She said when he came he dedicated his load to her mother. Howard said her voice has to be disguised but she is a 15 year old. Robin said that's right. Howard said he has to go prepare for Metallica now. Robin asked if she has to go to school.
Howard said the kicker to the story of the death of her mom is that she sent the ashes of her mother to Weiner and he put them on his balls. She said she was very touched by that.
Howard let the 15 year old girl go and got out of the harmonizer thing. Howard asked her to say goodbye first. They went back and forth trying to say goodbye. Howard said that was an exclusive with the new 15 year old. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard came back and said he has the guys from Metallica in the studio. He said look what's going on there. Howard asked if it's too early for them. James said he hasn't gone to bed yet. Howard asked how this all works. He said it seems like a tremendous effort. He said they must have 50 people helping.
Howard asked if they remember the old days when they just loaded a van and went to play. James said it's like 10 vans now. Howard asked about the Metallica logos on the amps. Howard said it must be a look. James said they try not to have a look which gives them a look. Howard said even the coffee cups have a look. He said even when they set up in there they have a special plate for Lars' pancakes. Howard asked what the story is on that. Lars said a couple of years ago he switched some eating habits of his. He said a significant part of his diet are these pancakes. He said it's oats, stevia and some other things. Howard said it seems like Metallica isn't having that much fun. Lars said try doing this at 52. Howard said it does take more energy. Howard said it must be a fucking pain in the ass. James said it is. Howard said it must be fun too though. James said it's all of those things.
Howard asked what time they went to bed. one of the guys said 3. Lars said he was in bed at 1. Lars said one of the things that isn't fun is the stretching before the show. He said he can't do what they're about to do without that. He said he has to do that before a show. He said it endangers tomorrow's performance at Webster Hall. He said he might start cramping. Howard asked if it's because he hits so hard. Lars said it's the physicality of it. He said it has to be respected. Howard asked what they think of the Stones playing at 70. Kirk said he's surprised they still want to do it. Howard said Jagger and Richards can't stand each other and they talk shit about each other. James said that's part of the magic. He said you love each other and hate each other. He said they must care for each other.
Howard asked if they don't see each other when they're not touring. James said they don't hang out. Howard asked about how they had like 900 new songs for this new album. James said he had about 800 and Kirk had about 500. Howard asked where they put their songs. Kirk said he made the mistake of putting his riffs on his iPhone. Howard asked where they go to work on the songs. Lars said they have a place they call HQ that they work at. He said it's built on the Grateful Dead format. Howard asked if it's owned by them. Lars said they have their fan club there and all of their storage and rehearsal area. Howard asked if it's an expensive area. Lars said it has gotten more and more expensive.
Howard asked if they all live near there. James said he's maybe 1200 miles from there in Colorado. Kirk said he's about 4000 miles. Lars said he's about 15 minutes.
Howard asked about walking into HQ to start a new album and what happens when Kirk loses his 500 song ideas. Kirk said he put it on his phone and he didn't want to forget it. He said he lost it all. Howard asked what they say to Kirk when he does that. James said he just hands him one of his riffs. Howard asked if they care about who writes what. James said he and Lars have been driving this thing and they put the songs together. He said he has so many riffs and so many ideas. He said Lars is a good editor. He said they have a great level of trust. He said they're all skeptics.
Howard asked the guys about doing cover versions and how they did covers of obscure songs. Lars said they just played the songs and didn't tell anyone they weren't their songs. Lars said when they were in L.A. in 81 or 82 that's what they were doing. Howard said he looked up some of the songs and played one that they covered. Howard asked what it is about covers and if they do it because they don't have confidence on their own writing. James said that's it. He said they were paying homage to the bands that inspired them. He said when they had to write their demo they didn't have any of their own stuff. James said they had long, drawn out epics that they wrote and they didn't have the hits because they were covers.
Howard asked who the radio guys were that played their stuff. Lars said that they had a station in L.A. that played their stuff. Howard said he has a friend who was at KROQ and they were trying to decide if they should play their stuff. Howard said they had a long, drawn out argument about it. Howard said Kevin Weatherly said they were going to play it and they eventually came around. Lars said they did play some of the hits along the way. James said the college radio stations did it too. Howard said they have to go out and play it live to make it. James said you have to. He said you can't make it if you don't. He said some do but most don't. James said they have a following that loves them and they don't fake it. He said they love what they do too.
Howard asked if James has the most tattoos on him in the band. James laughed. Howard asked if he knows what they all are. James said he does forget them sometimes. He said he went to a friend's house and he had a 5 year old who hissed at him when he saw him. He said the kid told him ''get out of here.'' Howard said tattoos aren't that crazy now. James said you need one to get a job now. Howard asked what the ''Riff life'' tattoo means. James said that's what he does. He said it's his life.
Howard asked if they look at an Adele song and see it as shit. James said if he daughter wants to sing a song with him he's going to do it. He said if he's doing it with his daughter it's cool. Howard asked where he did that cover of the Adele song. James said it was at a benefit show he was at. Howard asked if he listens to the pop songs and hears stuff that turns him on. Kirk said he listens to talk radio now. He said he can't listen to pop.
Howard asked if James can listen to Justin Bieber. James said that he has to go along with it with his kids. He said there's music he's supposed to hate and his kids love and that's just the way it is.
Howard said he loves that they put out a new album. Howard asked why they decided to do a new one because they could cruise along with their hits. Kirk said they want to make art. James said they know that route where you play the hits but they don't want that option right now. Kirk said they still have creative ideas that are relevant. He said they want to get them out and make music with them. James said they still haven't made a great record yet. Howard asked if they listen to their old stuff and don't hear a good album. James said absolutely. Robert said some of the older bands run out of ideas and go to outside writers but their thing is they have too many ideas.
Howard asked about going to HQ and if they just go in and jam and start to play. Lars said they have hundreds of ideas. He said he had an iPod with 1500 ideas on it. He said they did that from jamming. He said they had sound checks and warm up sessions and all of that. James said he listen to that iPod for a whole summer. He brought it down to about 50 ideas and started jamming on those.
Howard asked about doing ''Master of Puppets'' and who brought that riff to the session. Lars said he thinks that was James. James didn't remember but he said okay to that. He said as far as that stuff goes he doesn't think it matters that much. He said it was a contribution to what it was so that's the song.
Howard said there's a documentary with Jimmy Page talking about Kashmir and how he came up with the riff to that. He thought that was really cool. Lars said they just have it as a collective and back in the 70s they were all to themselves so they remember that stuff. Howard said it's like communism. Lars said it's more like socialism. Howard said someone has to bring life to that riff.
James said it's so weird to think about how they were the young guys performing ''Master of Puppets'' and now they see little kids in the audience yelling out ''Master!'' during the song. He said it's just like ''What!?'' when he sees that happening.
Howard said this is a business and they didn't change their sound at all. Lars said they have felt like outsiders and they never felt like a part of the cool kids. He said that they felt like they were living in their own world. Howard asked if they feel accepted now. Lars said he feels like they still hover on the outer fringes. James said they can always find something they hate or that other people hate. He said they wanted to play what they wanted to hear because what they were hearing they hated.
Howard asked Kirk about pulling the top string off his fret board to make a siren sound. Kirk told Howard about that and said it was an accident and they ended up keeping it.
Howard said the guys are going to do ''Master of Puppets'' now. The guys got right into the song. After the song Howard said they are something else. Howard said they really are that good. Howard said it looks exhausting for Lars. Lars said it's jumping in the deep end at 8 in the morning so it is like ''Woo.'' Robin said he has to get ready and keep it together like the lead singer.
Howard said the speed at which they play is amazing. Howard asked if they have to rehearse it. Kirk said they do it once or twice just to say they can do it. Howard said Robert is playing bass so fast and hard. He said it can't be an easy song to cover. Robert said he has to review the songs they're going to do because your mind can play tricks on you.
Howard said when they play lead together it's like the Allman Brothers. He said they're harmonizing and doing a dual lead. Kirk said Thin Lizzy did it too. Howard said there is no more fun than watching them do what they do. Kirk said when they fuck something up the audience will pick up on it. He said they'll stop a song midway through it. Robert said in Phantom Lord they were in 3 different tunings. He said they do notice that stuff.
Howard asked if the guys think they get enough credit as musicians. Howard asked if the rock industry honors them. James said it's not that important to him. He said he thinks they are so-so as musicians but something extra happens when they get together. Howard said it looks incredibly difficult to do what he does. Howard said it has to be hard at that pace. Kirk said he knows where he's at and if he's good with his instrument then he feels pretty secure. Howard asked about their instruments from ESP. Kirk said they'll make anything they want. He said they use certain amps and pick ups to get the sound they get. He said they've been honing it over the years.
Howard gave them a plug for their new album ''Hardwired...To Self-Destruct'' which is coming out November 18th.
Howard said one of his favorite songs is ''Sad But True.'' Howard asked if they have to rehearse that one too. Lars said they play some of the songs just to warm up. He said they can come back to them just playing them. He said they have a tendency to do better when they're with Howard or with some people around. He said they're not one of those bands that rehearses a lot or over prepares.
Howard asked if they remember doing the song ''Sad but True.'' Lars said that was one of the best ideas James had that summer. He said now they have 1500 ideas and back then it was maybe 50. Howard asked about coming up with the riff for that song and if it's true that the lyrics were inspired by the movie ''Magic.'' James said that sounds cool but he doesn't know. He said it might have. Howard asked if he's on to something. Lars said he's never heard that. James said ''Sad but True'' is a duality. He said each one of us has a dark side and a light side so there's this duality. Howard asked if he came up with that and this riff. James said the Puss Head skull thing came after the song. He said he was an artist who did a lot of their artwork.
Howard asked if ''Sad but True'' was done to do a shorter song. Lars said their album had a lot of longer songs and they came up with that to do something shorter. He said the longer songs were tough to do in concert. Howard asked how long it takes to write a song like that. Lars said that they took maybe 2 or 3 months to write that album. He said that ''Sad but True'' came pretty quick. He said some of the songs came really quickly to them and that might be why they've stood the test of time.
Howard asked if they ever hear a song and know it's going to be a hit. Lars said the riff for ''Sad but True'' was so great they couldn't wait to do it. He said the lyrics come later.
Howard asked if James hears songs in his head in the shower or something like that. James said he might even come up with something in the car on his way to HQ. He said he might drive and hum something and it comes to him in. Howard said he thinks driving has something to do with it. James said absolutely. He said you're not over thinking things. He said you just let it happen.
Howard said it's an amazing process but it must be horrible too. Lars said that it's different. He said they have a methodical way of working. He said sometimes they have a song with 3 or 4 parts in it and they may take some of the parts and mix them with other songs. He said it really is like a puzzle. Howard said he hears that in their songs sometimes.
Howard had the guys perform their next song ''Sad but True.'' After the song Howard asked what the fuck that was. Howard said they're like an army. He said that's how tight they are. Howard said it looks like they're having a great time. James said he's looking at the studio thinking how blessed they are to still be doing this. Kirk said they're all smiling. Howard said it's almost like sex. Howard said they move together and play together and it's just remarkable to watch. Robin said there are just a few of them there that they're playing for like they're in a stadium. Howard said that's the only way he'll see a band. Lars said they'll show up too.
Howard asked Robert about his son who plays bass too. Robert said he hears his son jamming with James. James said the kid has the bug. Howard said you get it and you play every minute. James said there is an obsessive part to it. He said you just want to get good. Howard said you want to have other people teach you shit too. James said Robert's son, Ty, is doing that. He said that you have to interact and learn to play. He said you can get stale if you don't.
Howard said at 12 he had the bug but it was for masturbation. James said he wasn't alone in that. Kirk said he used to bring the guitar in the bathroom with him. He said he used to read but then he brought the guitar in. He said you have to be very dedicated.
Howard said he thinks that musicians are good at math. Kirk said he flunked math. He said you have to have an ear for pitch and keys and things like that. He said you have to have your technique down.
Lars said they used to write really crazy songs and people would transcribe things for them. He said people would ask questions about the written music and he had no idea what they were even talking about.
Howard said Lars puts together the set list 30 minutes before a show. Howard said he doesn't get how he can do that. Lars said on the last tour they played about 200 shows and they had 50 or 60 songs they could play at a moment's notice. He said they will meet about 30 minutes before the show and run through some of the songs.
Howard said they did a charity show on Saturday. He asked about Rihanna showing up late and throwing off the flow of things. Howard said they must show up on time. Lars said they show up early. Kirk said they're there 3-4 hours before. He said they eat and then warm up and it takes time. Howard asked what they make of Rihanna. Kirk said they all have a different ritual. Maybe she shows up late to every show. Howard said they're legends and you can't do that. Lars said they are 35 years into it and they have figured things out about how to push each other's buttons and things like that.
James said there are people who can tell her she's late. James said he was watching Brian Wilson by the time she showed up. Howard asked if they get upset. Lars said he watched her do her thing and it was pretty good. He said he thought it was pretty cool. Howard asked what they think about these people who have backing vocals and things like that. Kirk said it's cheating and it's like acting. James said that he gets it that they dance and get out of breath.
Howard said they didn't want to dance around to please the crowd. James said they're not clowns. He said the music moves them.
Howard gave the guys another plug for their new album ''Hardwired...To Self-Destruct'' and said they're going to perform a new song. Howard said this is their first new album since 2008. Lars said he thinks they spend less total time working on this one than anything else in the past. He said they did it all in the same place so they could spend time with their families.
Howard asked if they have rehearsed this song. James said they have. Howard asked how many times they've performed it live. Lars said just once. Howard asked how many times they rehearsed it. Lars said they did it in rehearsal but they had never played it as a band before. Howard told the guys not to fuck it up. Lars said if they do they'll just stop and start it over.
Lars said this was the last song they wrote for the new album. He said they wrote it in May or June. Lars said they did it in about a week just 2 months ago. Howard said they needed something and this is the song that was missing. Howard had the guys get into the new song ''Hardwired.'' They had to stop when Lars wasn't able to hear the other guys. They started again after that.
After the song Howard said he has to get some of those pancakes. Howard said no mistakes that he heard. Lars gave Howard one of his pancakes. Howard said they're cold. James said they're just boys in men's bodies. Howard asked if their kids think they're the coolest. James said he's stupid and an idiot to his kids. He said that his kids tell him he's socially retarded.
Lars said his son just went to college. He said he went to visit him a week ago. Lars was out of breath. James goofed on him about that. Lars said he went to pick his son up last year at a school of music and he had never seen him in this role where people jumped on him. He asked him not to walk around campus with him this time. He said he felt like he was embarrassing him so he kept a low profile up there this time. Howard said that's the tough part of being famous with kids. Howard said you want that spotlight but you have to put it aside for the kids. James said it's tough for the kids. He said that they have that radar when people are trying to take your picture or something. He said the people want something from you. He said he can relate to Lars' boy that he wants his own life. He said Lars came from a dad who was a tennis star and he did his own thing and made it in a different way. Lars said his son was having fun by the time it was coming to an end.
Howard asked what the guys are going to do tonight. He asked if they'll be watching the debates. Lars said he's going to watch them. Howard asked if the guys all vote. Kirk said they definitely do. James asked who the third option is. Kirk asked about a write in vote. Robin said he can still do that. Howard asked if Lars can vote legally. He asked if he's from another planet. Lars said he is from another world so he can't vote.
Howard asked what they are doing. Lars said they will lay low today. He said they have a lot to do tomorrow. Howard said he let Richard sit in even though he didn't lick Gary's penis. Richard said he's going to cry thinking about this. He said their music means so much to him. He said he's going to cry. Howard said he looks like a Make a Wish kid or something. Richard said he wanted to rip his face off in the studio. Howard said Richard went to a Metallica show with him once and he was whipping his head around like he had hair but he had no hair. Richard said he used to.
Howard gave the guys another plug for the album and thanked them for coming in and spending time with them. Howard said he's going to play ''Moth Into Flame'' from the new album and this is a world premier. Howard said there was a time when he couldn't get a world premiere. Howard asked if they have anything they want to tell the fans. Lars laughed. Howard said that says it all.
Howard asked if they're going to take in some theater there in the city. He asked if they're going to take in theater. James laughed and said he's going to spend time with his wife. Lars said they have 12 hour days coming up. He said they'll be doing Fallon in a few days. He said he was at a bar the other night and he was hanging out singing Loverboy and things like that at 3 in the morning. Howard thanked the boys for coming in and played ''Moth Into Flame'' as they went to break.
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Howard took a call from a guy who said that 3 years ago they were in the studio and they rocked hard. He thanked Howard for another great interview. He also thanked Howard for tickets to the show they did at The Apollo. Howard said that was a great concert. Howard said he went to see them at the Garden too and it was one of the best nights of his life. Howard said they had a 70 piece orchestra and it was some show. Howard said that's when he and Ralph pulled their friend's pants down. Howard said that's how nuts that music makes him.
The caller got in a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' before Howard let him go. Howard played a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' song parody after that.
Howard said he's still recovering from Metallica. He said he's kind of blown out by their energy. Robin said she was exhausted from that new song they played.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's awestruck and speechless. He said that every time he thinks he won't top a guest like Steve Martin he pulls out something like this. Howard said he ruined one of their most amazing moments in their career. Howard said he rarely talks about it. Howard said he apologized to them for it. He said he did his Fartman thing when they won an MTV music award. Howard said they were giving their acceptance speech and he was mooning the audience. Howard said someone put their foot up his ass. He said he still wants to know who did that. Howard said that wasn't cool of him to do. Howard said luckily they've won other awards.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for that great interview. Howard said he's still amazed at how fast they play. Howard said they were all covered in sweat by the time he hugged them goodbye.
Robin said she's watching Narcos season 2 and it's awesome. Howard said it really is great. Howard said he got an advance copy of Luke Cage which is coming to Netflix. Howard said he loved Jessica Jones too. Robin said she couldn't get through that. Howard said she may not like Luke Cage then. Howard said you can build your whole day around watching TV. He said that's kind of his fantasy. He said he wants to be sewn into his couch and never leave. Robin said it was a beautiful day yesterday. Howard said he went for a walk with Beth yesterday. He said he likes to spend time with his cat Leon too. He said he's 22 pounds and he has a tumor. Howard said he'll be a mess if it's cancerous. Howard said he spends every minute with him. He said it kills him because so many black cats are in shelters. Howard said people have superstitions about them. Howard said no one would adopt this cat. He said they wrote on his papers that he was an awesome cat and the people who gave him up didn't try to get him adopted. Howard said he was in New Orleans and he kept paddling somehow until the rescue workers showed up. Howard said he was the only one to live. Howard said North Shore had him for a long time and one day Beth came home with him. Howard said he is the best and won his heart. Howard said he loves this cat. Howard said he said to Beth that he's going to be miserable if he has cancer. Howard said they don't know if he does but it's going to get to him if he does. Robin said you have to be prepared to say goodbye. Howard said he's not. Howard said Leon said that if he is in the hospital with cancer he doesn't want Benjy to visit him.
Howard took a call from Balls who said that he loved that Metallica performance. He said he spelled out his own name in jizz while they were playing. Balls asked Howard about this new toilet that washes your penis after you go to the bathroom. Howard said he's not interested in that. Howard let him go and then did a live commercial read.
Robin started her news with a story about Harry Connick Jr. talking about how vinyl records are outdated. Howard said he just got his own daytime show and he's always carrying on about his wife. Howard said he knows how to get to the ladies. Robin said he really does. Robin said he's becoming a woman she thinks. Howard said he realized what he's doing is saying everything women want to hear. Howard said he's being the perfect man for them. Howard said he's being so nice it's kind of creeping him out. Howard played the clip of Harry talking about how vinyl doesn't sound that good. Howard said he's right, it's shit. He said they get scratched so you always have scratches in them. Howard did his Gary voice and goofed on Gary about taking care of his vinyl records. Howard said he was so happy when vinyl went away. Robin said there is no reason for it. Howard said Gary still watches TV in black and white too. Howard did his impression of Gary defending black and white TV.
Robin read a story about a sperm donor app that's out. Robin said this app is an order a daddy app that lets women pick a donor by choosing the type of man they want to be the father. Howard said he wishes his mom had done that. He said he wishes he had a surrogate for both his mother and father.
Robin read a story about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and how they might be investigated for a fight they had on a plane. Howard said he's going with Brad Pitt. He said Angelina is the wacky one in that relationship. Howard said if she cares so much about the kids then why is she filing all of these papers. Robin said she thought it was getting weird when she hear about the plane thing. Robin wondered what that was about. Howard said they say he peed on the tarmac too. Howard said he thinks she might be wacky. Robin said this isn't good for the kids. Howard said work that shit out in private. Howard said he does kind of like seeing good looking guys like that having problems. He did a live commercial read a short time later.
Robin read a story about Arnold Palmer dying at the age of 87. Robin said he died from complications of heart problems. Howard said Gary was telling him that Palmer was rich from building golf courses and things. Gary told Howard he also created the Arnold Palmer drink that people drink all the time. Howard said he never heard of that before. Robin said she has. Gary said Jason says they say he was worth $675 million. Robin said he was one of the first guys to get endorsement deals. Robin said an Arnold Palmer is iced tea and lemonade. Howard said he made $184,000 in his best year. Howard said that's nothing to sneeze at but that's not enough to be worth $675 million. Howard said he's going to come up with a Howard Stern drink too. He said he's going to come up with his own ratio of lemonade and iced tea. He told Gary to get him those things so he can come up with his own secret ratio. Robin said he also created the Grand Slam of golf. Robin said there are major tournaments and he created the idea to have a grand slam of golf. Howard said maybe coffee and Mountain Dew in the right combination. Howard said that's the dumbest idea ever. Howard thought about other things he could come up with for drinks. Then he thought about vinegar and water and calling it the Howard Stern Douche. He said that would be an honor.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Howard has a drink of seltzer and cranberry juice. Howard said he's right. Howard said he does drink that sometimes. Howard said no one steal that. Howard asked if she wants a Howard Stern. The caller said that's what he orders at the bar. Howard said the Arnold Palmer drink was trademarked so people had to pay if they served it at a bar.
Robin read a story about Jose Fernandez dying in a boating accident over the weekend. Robin said he didn't drown but died from the accident. Robin said he was only 24 years old and his girlfriend is pregnant. Robin said he had a harrowing time getting there from Cuba. Howard said there was a time he saved a woman drowning in the water and it turned out to be his mom. Howard said you'd think he'd had enough of boats. Howard said never go on a boat. Robin said she likes boats. Howard told her to knock it off. He said that she almost crashed into something. Robin said she did not. Howard said he's meant to be on dry land. Howard said he hates boats. He said he hates the wind blowing in his face. That led to him doing his impression of his mom talking to Robin about boating. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read more about Jose Fernandez and had some audio clips of some people talking about his death. Howard told Fred he had better cry like that guy did. Howard said he wants to hear some tears when he goes.
Robin read a story about Charles Osgood has retired from CBS Sunday Morning. Howard said he used to watch that show. Robin said he had a 45 year career with CBS News. Robin said he will continue his job on CBS radio. Robin had audio of Charles announcing that Jane Pauley will be replacing him. Howard said he wanted Marfan Mike to take over for him.
Robin read a story about Whoopi Goldberg probably leaving The View after this season. Robin said Whoopi was on the Wendy Williams show talking about how she most likely won't return for another season. Howard said maybe that's a negotiation thing unless they're forcing her out. Howard said she should stick with it. Robin said she's doing a lot of things now so maybe she wants to do that now. Robin said she was in the Beatles documentary because she sent to the Shea Stadium concert the Beatles did.
Robin read a story about the Pope and how he is supporting a Mexican bishop who is against same sex marriage. Howard said it's so archaic and stupid to be against gay marriage.
Robin read a story about tonight's debate and how they're thinking that it may get $100 million viewers. Robin said a naked Trump statue in Las Vegas has been vandalized. Robin had some audio of the artist who made the statue talking about how sad it is how people treat art. Robin had some more news about the debate and had some audio of people talking about that. Howard said he was out over the weekend when Hillary was around and they had a parade of cars going along with an ambulance. Howard said he assumed it was Hillary but it could have been Trump. Robin had audio of a Libertarian candidate talking about how important it is for humans to inhabit other planets because some day the sun is going to grow and engulf the earth. Howard said he doesn't believe there is life on other planets. He said he thinks we're alone in the universe. Robin had a few more clips of people talking about the debate.
Robin read a story about Snapchat introducing a new pair of sunglasses that will allow their users to capture video with them. Robin said they'll cost $130.
Robin read a story about how Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wants to be president of Iran again but there are people who say that will never happen. Robin said there is speculation that he was considering the move but people are telling him not to even think about it.
Robin read a story about things returning to almost normal in Charlotte after the shooting and protests last week.
Robin read a story about changes in flu vaccines. Robin had some audio of a doctor talking about the changes. Howard said he didn't get one when he was at the doctor. He wondered why that is. Robin told him to go get one.
Robin read a story about a doctor who allegedly penetrated some women during routine visits. Robin said his attorney claims he was doing that legitimately. Howard said Benjy was violated with a finger. Robin said they all witnessed that.
Robin read about a third Mexican priest being killed within a week. Robin said he was kidnapped the week before his body was found. Robin said two other priests had been abducted the previous day. Robin asked why they're being abducted. Fred played a clip of George Takei saying ''Agua'' and ''Guacamole.''
Robin read a story about the cell phone alerts that were sent out last week and how they referred people to see media outlets for more information. Robin said it may not be enough information.
Robin read about how the movie ''Magnificent 7'' was the number one movie at the box office over the weekend. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
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Howard started the show talking about how he was up late watching the debate. He said he hung in until about 10:30 and then went to bed. He said he heard his name and then went to bed. He said Trump was on the show years ago saying he was for the Iraq war and they were forced to mention that in the debate. Howard had a clip to play since Robin didn't hear it. Howard said he can cross that off his bucket list now. He said he's been mentioned in a presidential debate. Robin said no one said ''Hit 'em with the Hein.''
Howard played the clip where Trump brought up the interview with Howard Stern. Howard said Beth woke up when she heard the name. He said he thought sex might happen but she was too tired. Howard said the highlight of the debate was the parade of hot trump women walking out at the beginning. Howard said they must have imported some. Howard said according to the polls people are having a hard time picking a president. Howard said he's having a hard time picking someone to beat off to. He said it's either Melania or Ivanka. Howard said Melania is holding up really well. He said he wishes they had a split screen of them.
Howard said the greatest part was when Bill Clinton went up to shake Melania's hand. Howard said you know she went into his spank bank. Howard said you know Bill still loves pussy. He did his impression of Clinton asking Melania if she's ever had a cigar in her pussy.
Howard said both candidates looked great. Howard said he has to say the lighting guy did a good job. Howard said he wishes he had that guy. Howard said he was watching the stuff before the debate and there were a lot of mutants walking around there at Hofstra. Howard said some of them should have been thrown off campus.
Howard said Hillary got in a plug for her web site. He said Trump was getting in plugs too. Howard played some clips. Hillary got in a plug for her book. Howard said Jackie called him and complained about the number of plugs. He said Jackie would do a movie and he'd wear a Jokeland shirt in the movie. Robin said he used to sit there and plug when he was at the height of his fame.
Howard asked what was going on with Donald and the sniffling. Robin said he may have been under the weather. Howard played a clip of Trump sniffling when he was talking. Howard said JD was laughing whenever he'd sniff. Howard played more of Trump sniffing during his discussion about Ford moving some production to Mexico. Howard said even Medicated Pete was wondering what was going on with the sniffling. Howard played a clip of Pete sniffling himself in a clip.
Howard said he noticed there was a lot of that. Howard said he had some Bobo-isms too. He said Trump said ''semi-exact'' and some other things. Howard said people were nit picking there. Howard said he watched for a while but he wonders if anyone is going to change their minds after the debate. Robin said she doesn't think so. She said nothing was like a deal breaker for voters. Robin said she's not sure that anyone can be eliminated as a candidate.
Howard said Rosie O'Donnell took a hit during the debate too. Howard played a clip of Trump talking about Rosie during the debate.
Robin said this is an unusual debate when you hear Rosie brought up. Howard said they weren't talking about the wall and that's like going to see Pink Floyd and not hearing The Wall. Howard said it seemed pretty nutty to him.
Howard said he's tired of it. He wants the election over with. Robin said there are two more debates and a vice presidential debate. Robin asked if he knows who the vice presidential candidates are. Howard said he does. Robin said they seemed to have disappeared.
Howard said Beet is there to help them with some stuff there. Howard said he's in the back room doing some stuff. Howard asked if he was there for the debates. Beet said he was. He said he was advising Trump. Howard asked who is hotter, his wife or daughter. Beetlejuice said it's his wife. Howard asked what he would do to her sexually. Beetlejuice said he would put it in her back door. Howard said he knows how to please a woman. Howard asked when he last got pussy. Beetlejuice said in the last two weeks.
Howard asked if he Beetlejuice thinks they should build a wall. Beetlejuice said he does because he doesn't like the Mexicans. He said they don't wash. He said they're scared the soap. Howard asked if there are any other races he doesn't like. Beetlejuice said he's okay with white people. Howard asked if there are any other groups he'd like to see out. Beetlejuice said some Mexicans are alright. He said we can keep some here.
Howard said he knows Beetlejuice is there and only has a short amount of time. Howard said he heard about his latest project. He asked Beetlejuice to talk about it. Beetlejuice said that's a secret. Howard said he's selling Emojis. Howard said he has a new app out called Beetmoji. Howard asked if he knows anything about this. Beetlejuice said it came out a long time ago. Howard said it's Beetlejuice themed Emojis. Howard asked how you get it. Beetlejuice said it's already in your head. Howard said they have Boxing Beet and Trump Beet and things like that. Howard said it's available for IOS or Android.
Howard said Beet has tried a bunch of things and this is the latest. Howard said everyone loves Emojis. Howard said you can download it now for 99 cents. Beetlejuice said there must be about 50 in there. Howard said it could be more or less. Gary said it's over 80. He said his favorite is Zika Beet. Howard asked what that is. Gary said it's Beetlejuice as a bug.
Howard asked if they're real pictures or cartoons. Beet said they're cartoons. Howard said they're drawings. Howard said he has a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' t-shirt on in one. Howard asked who drew them. Beetlejuice said he did. Howard said he has a Howard Beet too. Howard said there's a Don King Beet as well. Howard said he's doing it all. He said he's a little jealous. Beetlejuice said when you think you do it.
Howard asked if he worries about copyrights. Beetlejuice said he figured everything out. Howard asked how much he's keeping for himself and how much is going to charity. Beetlejuice said he's doing it all for charity.
Howard asked Beet what he would send to his wife as an Emoji. Beetlejuice said his wife asked him to come over and do something for her. He said he did it. Howard said he must have used that big cock of his. Howard asked what Emoji he should send her. Beetlejuice told him to send whatever he wants. Howard asked what he should use when he's horny. Beetlejuice said there's a boner in there.
Howard said in a few weeks they're going to have The Gathering of the Stupid and they have to vote on whether or not Marfan Mike should be in the Wack Pack. Howard said he has Marfan Mike on the phone now. Howard said he was just up on the phone but now he's gone. Gary said they're getting him back. Howard said he thinks Beetlejuice could influence the Wack Pack. He asked Beetlejuice if he should be in. Beetlejuice said he might not be. Howard said he's not on the phone anymore but he has Mariann.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she just downloaded the Emojis. Mariann asked if Beetlejuice remembers her. Beetlejuice said he remembers her. Howard said she just bought his Emojis. Mariann asked if she should be at the Gathering. Beetlejuice said it's up to her. Howard asked if he would fuck Mariann. Beetlejuice said he has a couple of times. Howard asked if Beetlejuice would fuck Mariann or Ivanka. Beetlejuice said she bought the Emojis so he would say Mariann.
Howard took a call from Marfan Mike who said he likes Beetlejuice and he'd like to hang out. Beetlejuice said it's up to him. He said he knows he's a good friend but he has other things to take care of. Howard said this is like a meeting of the small minds. Howard asked Mike to give Beetlejuice a reason to vote for him. Mike said he's cool like Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice said he's alright but he doesn't think he'll vote for him. Mike said they can hang out. Beetlejuice said he went crazy last time. Mike laughed. Howard said everyone is influenced by Beetlejuice. He said he is the most influential Wack Packer. Howard said Beetlejuice might be the key to getting in. Mike said he's the man.
Howard said High Pitch Erik refused to call in today. He doesn't want to talk to Beetlejuice. Howard asked if he would vote for Mike if he gave him a gift. Beetlejuice said that's up to him. Robin asked if he wants an Xbox. Beetlejuice said he'd take that. Howard told Mike to work on his convincing mode. Mike said he's been getting a lot of nasty text messages from High Pitch Erik. Howard said he's threatening Mike now. Mike said he's telling him he has to watch his back and he's going to kill him. Robin asked how many times they have to tell him not to threaten people.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he downloaded the app and it made his car explode. Howard said that's not true. He let the guy go.
Howard asked what happened between Beetlejuice and Robin. Beetlejuice said he doesn't think that's going to happen. Howard asked if she gave him a hand job. Beetlejuice said that's their secret. Howard said he heard she gave him a hand job. Beetlejuice said nobody wants to know about that. Howard asked if it's true. Beetlejuice said he doesn't want to say. Howard asked if she showed her titties. Beetlejuice said that's a secret.
Howard said he has a hot chick on the phone who says she wants him. Howard took the call and a guy was doing a woman's voice talking to Beetlejuice about how good she is at blow jobs and squirting. Then he changed his voice. Beetlejuice asked what that is. Howard said he just tricked them. He said she turned out to be a dude. Howard let the guy talk to Beet for a little while longer. Howard said that guy had him fooled.
Howard said people love when Beetlejuice is in. Howard said he loves Beetlejuice too. Beetlejuice said he loves Howard too. Howard said Beetlejuice should get pretty wealthy from this. He asked if he has an accountant to make sure he doesn't get ripped off. Beetlejuice said oh yeah. Robin told him not to forget them. Beetlejuice said he won't. He said Howard was there for him.
Howard said the cleaning lady there left a message for Beetlejuice. Howard said he's not sure what she's talking about. Howard played the clip and she welcomed him back but asked him not to shit on the floor. Beetlejuice said that's not him. Howard said last time he was up there, a while ago, they found shit on the floor. Beetlejuice said maybe it was a different guy. Howard said Robin was blaming it on Beetlejuice. Robin said it wasn't her. She asked Howard what he's doing. Beetlejuice said he was way down south. Beetlejuice said maybe Robin did it because it wasn't him. Howard said it was probably Robin. Robin said she didn't shit on the floor. Howard asked if it was the Shit Fairy. Beetlejuice said it wasn't him. Robin said maybe it was Fred. Beetlejuice said it could be him.
Howard said maybe it was Cousin Brucie. Beetlejuice said it could be him too. Howard said he told the cleaning woman it wasn't him. Beetlejuice said he wasn't even there. Howard said he thinks someone stepped in it too. He said they have to make sure he doesn't use that bathroom again.
Howard gave Beet another plug for his Beetmoji app. Howard said it's all available for IOS and Android. Howard thanked him for dropping by today. Beetlejuice said to make sure to watch the fight tonight. He didn't say what fight that was but he said he has his guy fighting. He said his guy is training right now. Howard said he's going to take a break so he can hear more about this. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from Tommy from Malden who said that Trump won the debate hands down. Howard said people who are for Trump think he won and Hillary supporters think she won. Howard said there's about 11 percent of people who can't make up their minds.
Tommy said Kimberly on The Five last night looked amazing. Howard said she is very hot. Howard said he takes umbrage when she wears stockings. Howard said she should have her legs displayed without stockings. Howard said Roger Ailes was booted out of there and no one is telling women what to do on that channel. Robin said they better not. Howard said Roger would never allow that. Howard said he can see pants coming without him there. Howard said he has to say that Kimberly should not wear stockings. Tommy said he agrees. Howard said Robin knows he doesn't like it.
Howard said that the guy who has made a big splash as a caller is this kid from Kuwait. Howard had the kid, Flamin (Slayman), on the phone. Flamin said he's glad he called him that. He said he got into trouble for calling in. Howard said they have so much money over there and they could be making things so much better over there. Flamin said he loves his country and the people there but the government has some wrong policies over there. He said you get into trouble over there. He said he can't talk about his government anymore but he can't get into details about what happened. He said stuff happened and he can't talk about his government. Howard asked how they can get him out of that country. He said he has to get him into Canada. Flamin said he's saving up to go to New York. Howard said this kid is only 16. He said maybe he can adopt him.
Flamin said he talked to Howard for like 30 minutes. He said he got 110 followers after that. He said he used to have 2 and one was his mom. Howard said they have so much money over there and you hear about the leaders getting the money and the people have no freedom and they're not living that well. Flamin said his parents get punished for what he does because he's so young.
Flamin said he edits film and he won a medal for making a documentary. He said it was supposed to be 5 minutes but it was an hour and a half. Flamin said he got followed by Jackie and Jeff the Drunk. He said that he has insomnia and Jeff cam make him sleep like a baby.
Howard asked if it's true alcohol is illegal over there. Flamin said it is but there is still some available there. He said he can't go into detail about that. Howard asked if it's true you have to be arms length from a woman when you talk to her. Flamin said that's not true. He said that it's preferred but it's not mandatory.
Flamin said he thought he was going to be a nobody but it's so great that they're talking to him. Howard said his brother is in college so maybe he'll get to go to college in England. Flamin said he's not going to go to England. He said he'd rather choose the U.S.
Flamin said he was told he can get a scholarship over there at the same university that Howard went to. He said he's taking the SATs this Saturday in school. He said hopefully he'll do good. Howard said just a coupe of weeks ago this kid had nothing going on and now Jeff the Drunk had Jackie are following him. Flamin said it's so cool that he has people following him and liking his posts. Howard said he's such a 16 year old.
Howard said this kid is no different than a kid here. He said he just wants a break and an opportunity. Howard said he might force Gary to adopt this kid. Howard said he doesn't think he can open his house but Gary can. Gary said he would do that because the kid is awesome. Howard asked if he's a tall kid. Flamin said he's taller than his parents. Howard asked how tall he is. Flamin said he's 5'7'' or so. Howard asked if he's heavy or thin. Flamin said he's about average.
Howard said when he and Beth fantasize about having a kid they want a chubby kid. Howard said they think they'd be good parents for a chubby, loser-ish type with skin blotches. Howard said he doesn't think they could take Benjy for a weekend. Howard said they see kids out sometimes and they think that's what their son would be like.
Howard said this kid sounds so sweet to him. He said he's so full of life. Flamin said this is too much. He said he loves Howard. Robin asked if his parents would allow him to come to the U.S. Flamin said his father has been listening to Howard since he was 6. He said his dream would be to work for Howard some day. Howard said he'd be his son and he'd have to denounce his family. Flamin said he can't do that. He said he really loves them all.
Howard told Flamin to take care of himself. He said get over here. He said we have freedoms like he wouldn't believe. Howard said if they build the wall he may not get in. Robin said they have to get him in before the election. Howard asked if he wears a special outfit. Flamin said he just wears shorts and rock band shirts. He said he wore a Nirvana shirt to his uncle's house once and they were disappointed. He said he can't get into details but it was a religious thing. He said he has a family picture where everyone is wearing the Kuwaiti uniform and he's wearing a t-shirt.
Howard asked if he worries about attacks happening over there. Flamin said that they had an attack a year ago but it's actually a very peaceful place. Howard said if something happens there they'll be there to defend them because they have oil. Howard told Flamin to stay away from Anthony Weiner when he's online. Flamin said he will. Howard let Flamin go after that.
Howard said Speech Impediment Man says his wife left him. Howard took the call and Speech Impediment Man said that he came home from work last night and his wife left a note saying she got a lawyer and it's pretty much over. Speech Impediment Man said he's afraid she's going to take all of his money. He said he has some money. Howard said he figured he didn't have any. Speech Impediment Man said he sold his house in Nashville and he had it in the bank. He said he has to go to the bank today to see if she cleared him out. Robin asked how long he was married. Speech Impediment Man said it'll be 3 years in October. He said he's sorry for bringing the show down but he has to get some help.
Howard asked if he gave her his bank accounts. Speech Impediment Man said he sold his house in Tennessee and he didn't make a lot of money. He said he only makes like 20,000 and she makes like 65,000. Howard asked why he didn't just pay the bills himself instead of giving her access. Speech Impediment Man said he wanted to do that. Gary said Shuli knows a little bit about this. Gary said they're trying to figure out if she's from this country. Speech Impediment Man said she's from Detroit. Howard said
Shuli came in and said he's not sure why this is a surprise to Speech Impediment Man. He said he's gained a lot of weight and he's always out alone. Speech Impediment Man said he met her on PlentyOfFish.com. Howard said he must be the fish. Shuli said that Ass Napkin Ed also trolls women on that site. Howard said the first thing he has to do is call a lawyer. Speech Impediment Man asked for someone to suggest a lawyer. He said he's in Dallas, Texas. Howard said he has a guy on the phone who says he's a lawyer. Howard picked up and the guy was doing a voice like Speech Impediment Man. Howard asked him to talk to Speech Impediment Man about this. Speech Impediment Man asked for help and the ''lawyer'' mumbled something to him. Howard said he has the number 1 practice in Texas. The guy wasn't even making words at this point.
Speech Impediment Man was asking them not to make fun but the ''lawyer'' was still doing his impression of him mumbling and throwing in a word here and here that made sense. The caller had Howard cracking up. Howard said it would be great if Speech Impediment Man had a lawyer with a speech impediment. Howard said he'd be a Speech Impediment Lawyer. Howard said he's not sure what to do here. Speech Impediment Man said Howard talked a guy off a ledge from jumping. Howard asked where his wife is now. Speech Impediment Man said he has no idea.
Speech Impediment Lawyer mumbled something. Howard asked what his retainer is. Speech Impediment Lawyer said it's 30,000 dollars. Robin was cracking up. Speech Impediment Man said he's glad they think this is funny. Shuli said they didn't call him. Howard said he likes the new character Speech Impediment Lawyer. Speech Impediment Lawyer was still mumbling like Speech Impediment Man.
Howard said they have to get down to business. Howard said he was married for 3 years and he wasn't paying attention to his wife. Howard said he gave her his bank account information. Speech Impediment Man said he was stupid. Howard asked why he had her on the accounts. Speech Impediment Man said he wanted to have her on the accounts in case something happened to him. She was the one who suggested it.
Howard said Speech Impediment Lawyer is there in the studio now. Howard asked how he got there so fast. Speech Impediment Lawyer mumbled something about how he got here and said he has his diploma. Howard told him to get out of there. He said Speech Impediment Man just lost his wife. Howard told him to get back on the phone.
Shuli said he wasn't even sure he was actually married until he heard this. Howard asked if she was hot. Speech Impediment Man said she was to him. Howard said he knew something was up with this marriage. Howard said he let himself go and he was running around doing all of this stuff. Shuli said he went balls to the wall with her. Shuli said Speech Impediment Man said she wanted to be on his account because she was afraid something might happen to him. Howard said he didn't have to put her on all of his accounts. Howard said he could have given her some money but not all of it.
Howard had Speech Impediment Lawyer back on the phone. Speech Impediment Lawyer asked if Speech Impediment Man a question about his Social Security Number. Speech Impediment Man said he does. He asked if he has his mother's maiden name and some things like that. Speech Impediment Lawyer said they can steal her identity together.
Howard said he wants to go through this. Speech Impediment Man said he won't get married again. Howard said he doesn't think he has to worry about that. Robin asked if he had no idea she moved out. Speech Impediment Man said yeah. Howard asked what the note said. Speech Impediment Man said this is a 30 day notice and she has talked to a lawyer and she's going to talk to the landlord and he has 30 days to get out. Howard asked if he has to leave the apartment. Speech Impediment Man said it's in her name. Howard asked how that happened. Speech Impediment Man said when she moved down there to Dallas first he was still in Tennessee. He said they had to rent that house out.
Howard asked Speech Impediment Lawyer if he has the upper hand there. Speech Impediment Lawyer said he has to get some white out and white out her name. Speech Impediment Lawyer said he has lost every case but he thinks he can win this one.
Howard said this is horrible. He said Speech Impediment Man has done everything he could do wrong. Howard said he has to go to the bank and get on the phone to lock up his money. Howard said there are plenty of lawyers in Texas. Speech Impediment Lawyer said he's the best in the world. Speech Impediment Man said the money is in a T-bill. He said that's at the bank. Howard asked how she can have it. He asked if she has the access to it. Speech Impediment Man said it's in an account. He said he knows what's in it. He said he has to see if he can get her name off of it.
Howard said Brent thinks that Speech Impediment Man is screwed. Brent came in and said he has had one divorce himself. He said he's completely screwed. He said once you put names on joint accounts it's both of your money. He said that she can go and take it all out and it's legally her's. Brent said it sounds like she has a plan already. Howard asked if he can take the money out. Brent said he can. He said when you go to family court the guy ends up getting screwed. He said if they go into mediation then they might be able to split the money equally. Howard said all he knows is that Brent lost his hair in that deal.
Howard said they know nothing about this but what should he do. Brent said he has to open an account in just his name. He said he has to file for divorce immediately too. He said then you can freeze assets and all of that. Brent said he has to go if the apartment is in her name too. He said there's nothing he can do about that. Howard asked what he thinks about Speech Impediment Lawyer. Brent said he should retain him because that's all he'll be able to afford. Brent said that the credit cards could get run up too and it'll be on his credit. Robin asked if he can close the credit card accounts. Howard said Brent used to work on the Bubba the Love Sponge Show, he doesn't know.
Howard asked if Speech Impediment Man still loves her. Speech Impediment Man said yes but he can't trust her. He said it's over now. Howard said he feels blind sided and he'd be afraid to be with her now. Howard said he thinks Brent gave him some good advice. Howard said Speech Impediment Lawyer gave him some good advice too. Speech Impediment Lawyer said that wasn't free. He said he owes him some money.
Howard took another call from a lawyer who was doing a Speech Impediment Man impression. Speech Impediment Man said this guy sounds worse than the other one. This lawyer said the other guy doesn't know what he was talking about. Howard said he sounds legitimate. Howard asked if he practices in Texas too. This lawyer said he has only lost half of his cases. He said he loves watching Gotham like Speech Impediment Man does.
Howard said Speech Impediment Man was trying to find love and he found it in Mexico. Speech Impediment Man said it was in Michigan. Howard said this kind of thing happens every day. Howard let Speech Impediment Lawyer number 2 go after that. He said now Speech Impediment Man has two lawyers. Howard said the previous lawyer says that he has impeached his credibility and he wants to respond. Howard got Speech Impediment Lawyer back on the line and had the two Speech Impediment Lawyers arguing unintelligibly. Howard said maybe the two Speech Impediment Lawyer can work together as a dream team. He said he has to get them off the phone now.
Howard said in all seriousness he has to say that this sounds like it came out of left field and his wife was prepared. Howard said he has to go out today and find a lawyer. He said he has to find out where his money is. Speech Impediment Man said right. Howard said he has to get a referral for a lawyer. Howard said this is the part where they act like they are concerned. Howard said it's 5 hours of goofing and then this. Howard said half of the marriages in this country end in divorce. Howard said all Wack Pack marriages end in divorce. Howard asked if they know any who haven't gotten divorced. Shuli said Bobo is married but he did get one divorce.
Howard said they have to be optimistic here. Howard said maybe everything is fine with the bank account. He said maybe she's not looking to hurt him. Brent said that is possible. Speech Impediment Man said if he gets all of his money back he's happy. Howard said she got 30 grand in 3 years so she's not living high on the hog.
Shuli asked what he got for the house he sold that he got 30 grand out of it. Speech Impediment Man said it was $145,000. Howard asked why Speech Impediment Man can't check his balance online. Speech Impediment Man said he doesn't know how to work that. He said that's why he's going down at 9 o'clock to check his balance. They goofed on Speech Impediment Man about not knowing his own bank account number and not knowing how to check his balance.
Howard said this isn't funny. Shuli said it's heart breaking. Brent said divorce is very sad. Howard said Angelina Jolie is free. He asked when he last had sex. Speech Impediment Man said about 2 weeks ago. Howard said there was no indication then. Howard said maybe she isn't going to take his money. He said he's jumping to conclusions.
Robin said he did say that he gave her money to pay the bills and she didn't pay the bills. Robin asked what he thinks happened. Speech Impediment Man said he has a little temper. He said if she's not paying bills on time he gets upset. Brent said imagine being berated by this guy. Howard said a lot of marriages end over finances. Howard said now he has Speech Impediment Man's banker on the phone. Howard took the call and had another guy doing a Speech Impediment Man impression as his banker. Howard had to cut him off after he said something he didn't want on the air.
Howard told Speech Impediment Man to call him tomorrow to let him know what's going on. Shuli said he's sure it's going to go just fine. Howard said get down to that bank. Speech Impediment Man said he will. Howard said he doesn't even know his bank account balance. Howard said he's with him on this though. Shuli said he'll try to get some connections for him from a lawyer there in New York. Howard said Shuli has a steel trap mind when it comes to the law.
Howard let Speech Impediment Man go and said that's the worst. He asked Shuli if he's going to cover the divorce. Shuli said he has known him a very long time so he will. Howard thanked Brent for coming in to help too. Robin said she thought it sounded good. Howard said it all sounds good until Brent throws shit into a fan and sprays you with shit and liquid ass. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said the other thing he's excited about is this Revolver Beatles special they have coming up. He said it's the 50th anniversary of the album Revolver and they have a special coming up on October 7th on Howard 101. Howard said Fred played Living Color's version of ''Tomorrow Never Knows'' at the start of the show. Howard said that the special turned out great and he's really taken with the band OAR and with Jewel covering ''Eleanor Rigby.'' Howard played some of her performance.
Howard said between this and Metallica he has a whole concert going on in his head. Howard said he has to listen to some of this Cheap Trick cover too. Howard played their cover of ''She Said She Said.'' Howard played the band Group Love covering ''For No One'' too. Howard said they all did a great job with these songs.
Howard said the songs are beautiful. He said he's digging that OAR. He said they did a music special and then agreed to do this. Howard played some of their performance of ''I Want to Tell You.'' Howard said he loves this song too.
Howard said James Taylor recorded a song in a closet in a hotel room. Howard said he did ''Here There and Everywhere.'' Howard said this is in a closet. He played some of that performance.
Howard said John Lennon said that was one of his favorite songs. He said it was written by George Harrison. Howard said he thinks it was about his experiences with LSD. Howard said that's just what he's heard. Howard listened to the song and said he thinks that's exactly what it's about.
Howard said his song about LSD would be about how he just wants it to stop and how he wishes he could take it back. Benjy asked if he did it again after that. Howard said yes. He said a couple of weeks later he went to see 2001 A Space Odyssey and he took a small hit. Howard said that was okay. He said he never did that again though. He said he smoked some weed after that but no more hard drugs. Howard said he can't even smoke weed. He said he's a complete mess after smoking it. Robin said she saw him driving after smoking and she thought they were all going to die. Howard said he can't drive after smoking it. Robin said she couldn't wait to get out of the car. Howard said weed is a gateway to him acting like a pussy. He said it doesn't end up well.
Howard said the last time he tried weed was when he and his wife were in Mexico on vacation. Howard said they made love and she claims it was the best he's ever performed. He doesn't even remember it. Howard said she claims that he walked on the balcony and stood out there all night. He said he got all bitten up by mosquitos. Howard said she went to sleep and he was out there. Howard said it has some weird effect on him. Benjy asked about doing an illegal drug in Mexico and why he would do that. Howard said it was a guy he knew. He said he's not sure how he had it but he tried it. He said he was trying to fit in for once. Howard said he hates weed and all drugs but he thinks it should be legalized. Howard said just stay away from that nonsense. He said he has a glass of wine once in a while and that's it. Howard said he can't even do that because his liver levels were increased. He can't even drink coffee because he has a throat problem.
Howard said he has to move on and play a phony phone call. Howard asked Robin if she could ever date Mad Dog. Robin said he's too manic. Robin said he's running around all the time screaming. Howard said Robin can't take that at home. Robin said she's more mellow. Howard said he's thinking about the guys she's dated and they are mellow. Robin said maybe she should try something different because that hasn't worked out.
Howard said Gary is into that thing Alexa and they have it in the office there. Howard said Gary is always talking to it. He said they recorded Gary talking to it. Howard said it's annoying. Howard played audio of Gary asking Alexa questions. Howard said it's so annoying. Gary said he was demonstrating how it works because he has one at home. Howard said they record him every time he does it. Howard said they called a woman named Alexa and had Gary ask her questions. Howard said this seemed like a good phony phone call opportunity.
Howard played the call and they had Gary asking this woman named Alexa what time a baseball game was on, math questions, driving mileage, who Gary Patrick Dell'Abate was and things like that. She eventually figured out who he was. Howard said she must have nothing to do just like Gary. Howard said she was a good sport though.
Howard came back and said he has Chris ''Mad Dog'' Russo there. Howard said he's a high energy guy. Mad Dog came in all worked up trying to high five Howard. Howard said he can't do that. He said he hurts him when he shakes his hand. Howard said he doesn't like that. Mad Dog said it's been 3 years to the day since he was in there. Howard asked how he has so much energy. He asked if he drinks coffee. Mad Dog said he drinks just one a day. He said this is a thrill for him to be in there. Howard said he has a lot of things to talk to him about.
Howard said last night they had a lot on TV like the emotional Mets game and the debate. Mad Dog said it was a big weekend with Arnold Palmer passing away and Jose Fernandez passing away. Howard asked Mad Dog about who the biggest golfer is. Mad Dog said that Arnold is the most iconic. He mentioned Tiger Woods as being the biggest. Mad Dog went through some details about Arnold Palmer and how he was worth $625 million when he died because he invested well. He said he was an iconic figure. Howard said he figured out he could have endorsements. Mad Dog said that Arnold formed IMG too.
Howard said Mad Dog was hit in the head with a golf ball in August. Mad Dog said he was on the 9th tee box at a course in Connecticut. He said he hadn't played in a while. He said he was 3 guys and he hit his ball. He said the other golfer was there next to him. He said the player hit him right in the head. He said he went to his knees and he went to the hospital to get stitches. He said the doctor told him if he's on TV he might want to get a professional to do the stitches so he did that. Howard said he hasn't been on TV since Letterman left. Mad Dog said that's true.
Mad Dog said he went to get the stitches out and the doctor told him that if it hit an inch off from where it did he'd be dead. He said it would have hit him in the temple. Howard said the guy who hit him was a million to one shot. Mad Dog said he has played since but he had blood all over the place. He said he has played and he's not paranoid. Howard said they should go to helmets like in Football. Mad Dog said you can't wear a helmet on the course.
Mad Dog got back to Arnold Palmer and talked about how he signed up with IMG in 1960. He said the last tournament he won was in 1973. He said he was all over the papers yesterday after dying. He said he hadn't won in over 45 years. Howard said he wasn't the greatest golfer of all time. Mad Dog said that's right. He said he was a TV star. Robin said there was no interest in golf until he was around.
Howard asked Mad Dog about when he started out talking about sports. Mad Dog said he was a little more raw when he did it. Howard said he thought he was one of those guys who called into radio shows and got into it that way. Mad Dog said he always wanted to do that. Howard said he thought that he was Mike Francesa's reason for being popular but he's doing fine without Mad Dog. Howard said the two of them did a Radio City Music Hall special to raise money for charity. Howard asked if that was awkward. Mad Dog said it was a little bit.
Howard said Mike is retiring from WFAN and the rumor was that they were reuniting but Mad Dog has a big announcement. Mad Dog said he has re-signed with SiriusXM. He said that he did that because Howard is sticking around. Howard said he made a bad deal last time. Howard said this time he must have done better. Mad Dog said that he told his agent that he would sign in 20 minutes if they got to this figure he had in his mind. He said Scott Greenstein got there and that was it. He said he is fair and he wanted to leave both sides happy. He said he doesn't want to be greedy.
Howard said he's claiming that the entire negotiation was 20 minutes. Mad Dog said yes, essentially. Mad Dog said Greenstein has been tight with him for years. He said he told his agent to take more money in the third year so he has more to negotiate with next time.
Howard said he has to think about that. Howard said he's saying take less first and second year and take more in the third. Howard said maybe he's saying they'll get rid of him in the second year. Mad Dog said they never fire you there. He said they'll be good to you for life.
Howard asked if Mike is going to join him there. Mad Dog said he can never see him coming to a place where he was first. He said if they asked him to reunite with him he wouldn't say no to that. Howard said they have to talk about some other things too. Howard said Robin says he's too high energy.
Howard said one of the things he learned about him is that he has the worst musical taste on the planet. Howard said he was carrying on about Karen Carpenter. Howard asked how old he is. Mad Dog said he's 56. Howard said this is Mad Dog pining over Karen Carpenter. Howard played a clip from his show where he was playing one of her songs and talking about how much the song meant to him.
Howard asked Mad Dog for some documentaries that he should read that he can get on the Kindle. Mad Dog ran through a bunch of books that Howard should check out. Howard wrote them down. Howard said he's reading a Warren Buffet book that's fascinating. Mad Dog asked what topic. Howard said anything he thinks is strong. Mad Dog gave him a book about the Lucitania ship that was blown up in 1916. Howard said he won't read anything pre World War II.
Howard asked what went wrong with Karen Carpenter. Mad Dog said it was her mother. He said her mother always thought she was chubby and took her for granted.
Howard asked what the greatest Karen Carpenter song of all time is. Mad Dog said ''Top of the World.'' Howard played some of that and asked how that makes him emotional. Mad Dog said it's crazy. Howard said he's into Led Zeppelin and Kashmir, not this. Mad Dog said he's into Bruce Springsteen, the Rolling Stones and The Who too. Howard said he doesn't get it.
Howard said this song doesn't make him feel anything. Mad Dog said this song makes him feel pensive. Howard said he used to do reports for Imus' show. Howard asked if he got along with him. Mad Dog said he did. He said he hasn't been in touch with him for about a year. He said his son is a cowboy so he's wrapped up in that.
Mad Dog said ESPN has a 30 in 30 for him and Mike coming up. Howard said he's glad he re-signed there at Sirius. Mad Dog said he heard that someone called in and said that Howard talked about how he's the number 2 guy there. Howard said he may have said it but it doesn't make it true.
Howard asked what he does for TV when he's got the Met game and the debate going on. Howard asked if he hates boats like he does. Mad Dog said he does hate boats. He said they had the debate and a little football too. He said he watched the debate. Howard asked if he went back and forth. Mad Dog said Trump is so entertaining. He said he's so funny. He said he wouldn't vote for him but he is entertaining. Howard asked if he's voting for Hillary. Mad Dog said he might with his hand on his nose. He said he votes independent. He said he agrees that we don't need all of the guns we have in this country. Howard said he's all for the second amendment and for people who are reasonable having guns.
Mad Dog said you can't vote for the Libertarian candidate. He said he thinks that he can't vote. Howard said he has said all along that he's a Hillary supporter and he wanted her even before Obama was elected. Howard said he will vote for Hillary. He said he's said that all along. Mad Dog said he'll probably do the same. Howard said he told Trump that and Trump was fine with it. Howard said Trump was a supporter of her's for years too.
Mad Dog asked if Chris Christie has been on the show. Howard said he was at the birthday show. Mad Dog said that he has to be upset with that bridge closure thing. Howard said that was a terrible thing. Mad Dog said that really bothers him.
Howard said Mad Dog has been in New York working for years. He said he's not a fan of the New York teams though. Mad Dog said he's been there 30 years working and he hates the New York teams. Howard said that's a betrayal. Howard said he thinks he's looking for attention. Mad Dog said it might be him going back to his childhood. He said Jon Hein likes the Steelers. He said he gets that. Howard said now he's an adult and he should be a fan for the teams in his city. Howard said when he lived in Boston he rooted for the teams up there. Howard said now he's for the teams in New York. Howard said he roots for the Mets. Mad Dog said he's not that way. He said he was a fan of other teams growing up so that's who he likes.
Howard said Lenny Dykstra was in there and Mad Dog gave it to him when he went on his show. Mad Dog said he really did give it to him. Howard said he called his book garbage and called him a dope. Mad Dog said he stands by it too. Howard said Lenny went off on him saying he dyes his hair and he has a hair weave. Mad Dog said come up with something better than that. Howard said Mad Dog has good hair. Mad Dog said Howard does too.
Mad Dog asked Howard about not doing America's Got Talent anymore. He said he heard he gave that up so he has more time. Howard said he's less miserable doing the radio show doing it 3 days a week. Mad Dog asked Howard if he had to think about doing more time there. Howard said he had some other opportunities. Howard said they have built this thing up from 400,000 subscribers to over 30 million. Howard said he loves Jim Meyer. Howard said he likes what he's doing with the company. He said they have this universe of 30 million people and he's proud and happy to be there. Howard said he likes working with guys like Mad Dog too. Mad Dog said he loves Howard playing his sound clip and Sour Shoes doing his impersonation.
Howard asked Mad Dog about Tom Brady going to Rome. Mad Dog said he should be home watching his team. Howard said there's a shot of him fully nude with his wife Giselle Bundchen. Mad Dog asked if Howard thinks she's pretty. Howard said she is a very good looking woman. Howard said she must be worth more than Tom Brady. Mad Dog said he can't believe he's not around watching the team. He said he knows he can't do anything now that he's suspended but come on. He said he should be in Colorado or West Palm Beach or something. Mad Dog said he would stick around and watch the games to get a sense of what's going on.
Howard asked if he listens to every other radio show. Mad Dog asked if he's crazy. Howard said he doesn't think he has to watch all of the games. Howard said maybe he's going to be well rested. Mad Dog said he thinks he'll play very well when he gets back. Mad Dog said they're doing fine without him but that's because Bill Belichick is such a great coach. Howard said maybe he makes Brady the great quarterback he is. He said maybe Brady is thinking about that now.
Howard said that it must have made Mad Dog crazy that Mike's show continued on and did well. Mad Dog said he wanted the show to collapse. He said Mike kept doing it and made more money. Mad Dog said he was hoping they'd come to him and say they made a mistake but that never happened. He said he had to beg Sirius to keep him. Howard said that's what's going on with Brady now. Howard said this could happen. He said he might come back and they might not play him. Mad Dog said they have to play him. He said he's a hall of fame quarterback.
Howard said they could mess with Brady now because they are doing so well without him. Howard said it'll be like Mad Dog leaving Mike's show. Mad Dog said he almost had to go back to WFAN and beg for his job back. Howard said the plan there was to make that show collapse without Mad Dog. Howard said they succeeded without Mad Dog though. Mad Dog said they figured they could cut his salary in half. He said there was a time 3 years ago when he said he should have stayed with Mike. He said he did 5 hours day after day putting this brand on the air and then Mike soars and he can't go back to WFAN so Sirius figured they could cut his salary.
Howard asked if he goes to therapy. Mad Dog said he goes twice a week. Mad Dog said that's what happened to him and that's what's happening to Brady.
Howard asked if Mad Dog makes love with the passion he has on the air. Mad Dog said sometimes he does. He said his kids love that he's on Howard today. Howard said if he was a woman he'd be really afraid to make love to Mad Dog. Mad Dog asked him to move on to something else. Howard played a Karen Carpenter song. Howard said this is everything he hates about music. Howard said he played rock music when he was on the air. Mad Dog said they should be in the hall of fame. Howard said oh come on.
Howard said he's glad that Mad Dog is staying there at Sirius. Howard said he loves when Sour Shoes calls in as him. Robin said they can't tell him apart from Mad Dog. Howard said it would be fun to have Sour do the whole fucking show and see if anyone knows. Mad Dog said he thinks they'd pick up on it after an hour or so. Howard said if he's that good Scott Greenstein will hire him.
Howard asked Mad Dog about the guys like Colin Kaepernick not standing up for the national anthem. Mad Dog said he thinks that people have the right not to do that. Mad Dog said black players have had a tough time over the years. He said we understand we are not to be proud of that. He said this is America and if you don't want to stand up you can do that. He wondered if you should be able to do that if you're in uniform for a franchise. Howard said he wonders why they play the Star Spangled Banner at every game. Mad Dog said it's too much. Howard said they should do away with the whole fucking thing. Howard said he's all for patriotism and he loves this country so much he won't even leave it. Mad Dog said that the TV networks go to commercial when they play the National Anthem at NFL games.
Robin asked what they're supposed to do. Mad Dog said when you're representing a franchise in uniform you should not kneel. He said if he wants to do it somewhere else that's fine. Robin said these guys are acting like leaders but they are not.
Howard asked what Mad Dog would do if he was dating a woman who had really bad breath. Mad Dog said he'd tell her eventually. He said maybe not on the first date. He said he'd give her some gum and maybe some parsley. He said he heard that helps. Howard asked about Tim Tebow and if he has any talent in baseball. Mad Dog said not at all. He said he thinks the Mets did it to sell out some minor league games. He said the Mets try to sell you the idea that he's a legitimate prospect. He said he's 28 and he has done nothing. He said it was wrong of them to do that. Howard asked if he's a good guy. Mad Dog said he thinks Tebow means well.
Howard asked if Tebow could possibly still be a virgin. Mad Dog said he can't believe that. He said a guy like that can't be a virgin. Howard said a couple of years ago he was dating a supermodel and she broke up with him saying he wouldn't have sex with her. Howard asked Gary if that's the story they heard. Gary said yes but it was a long time ago. He said it was maybe when he was in college. Howard said it was more recent than that.
Howard said he thinks there's a lot to discuss. He said Mad Dog had a lot to say about the gorilla being killed in the cage. Mad Dog said that the people were upset about killing the ape when a 3 year old got into that enclosure. Howard asked what's going on with the zoos where they can't keep kids out. Mad Dog said he'd have to ask the zoo about that. Mad Dog said she had 3 kids and you can lose sight of your kid for 20 seconds. He said they were going to try to tranquilize the gorilla. He said that ape had to go! Howard asked if he worries that the apes could rebel. Mad Dog said this isn't Planet of the Apes.
Mad Dog asked what Howard's take on that was. Howard said they had to kill the ape. Robin said the ape was just being an ape.
Howard asked if Miley Cyrus being on The Voice is a good move or not. Mad Dog said he can't comment on that. He doesn't care about that stuff. Howard said he thinks he's about done when he gets to talking about Miley Cyrus.
Howard gave Mad Dog a plug for his radio show. Mad Dog asked how Metallica was yesterday. Howard said they were fantastic. Mad Dog said that having Billy Joel in there for an hour and 25 minutes was great too. Howard said when a band comes in there and plays for just them it's so great. He said it's great to see the musicianship. Howard said they played 3 songs yesterday. Mad Dog asked how many guys are in the band. Howard said they have four members. He said he talked to all four of them. Mad Dog said that's a tremendous job. Howard talked about the Billy Joel interview too. Mad Dog said the Hugh Grant interview was good too. Mad Dog asked if Tom Hanks has ever been in there. Howard said he has never had him on. He said he's supposedly a fan too. Howard said he'd like to talk to him. Mad Dog asked who his must haves are. Howard said he wants the Stones. He said he wants to talk to Mick and Keith.
Howard asked Mad Dog what movies he wants to see. Mad Dog said there's a new Will Smith movie coming out in December. He said there's another movie that's coming out that he wants to see about some Supreme Court case. Howard asked what he watches on TV. Mad Dog said he doesn't watch a ton. He said he likes Homeland and Boardwalk Empire. He loves sports so much. Howard asked if he prefers The Bachelor or Dancing with the Stars. Mad Dog said if he had to pick one he'd pick Dancing.
Mad Dog asked if Bruce Springsteen has ever been in there. Howard said he hasn't. He said he's another guy who should come in. Mad Dog asked if Colbert, Fallon and those guys are good. Howard said he loves all of them. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel is close. He said that he would love to have David Letterman on but he doesn't think Dave will come on. Howard said Dave has been on the show. He said he'd love to interview him now.
Mad Dog asked if Howard has had any presidents in there. Howard said no. He said he had Arlen Spector in there when he was around. Howard said he had Speech Impediment Man on earlier. Mad Dog said he heard that. Mad Dog asked what athletes he's had on. Howard said he had Pete Rose, Joe Frazier, Lenny Dykstra, Wayne Gretsky, Mickey Mantle, Mike Ditka and others. Howard told him to leave him alone with that.
Mad Dog told Howard about another book he'd be interested in. Howard said they have to be on a Kindle. Mad Dog said his kids love Howard. He said he has 17, 15 and 14 year olds. He said they love Howard. Howard said everyone wishes he was their dad. Howard said it was good to see him. Mad Dog said it shouldn't be every 3 years. He said they should pop in once in a while. Howard said he was hoping to have Sour Shoes on the phone. Howard asked how he's not on the phone. Gary said they can't find him. Howard said maybe he's with Mike doing a show with him.
Howard wished Mad Dog luck with his show. Howard asked when it's on. Mad Dog said he's on 3-6pm. Howard gave him some plugs and asked what he's going to do now. Mad Dog said he has to do the MLB Network show. He said he does that from 1-2 and then he does his show 3-6. He said he's paid well doing that too. Howard asked if he makes more from them. Mad Dog said it's tight. Howard said they really hammered him in that negotiation. Mad Dog said he should have had Howard negotiate for him. He said maybe Don Buchwald should have done it. Howard said he gets 1 billion dollars a week. Howard said he's worth 52 billion. Mad Dog said he's not worth anything close to that.
Howard wrapped up with Mad Dog and said he's said enough. Howard played him a little Karen Carpenter music as he was wrapping up. They went to break after that. As they went to break they played a phony phone call the guys made to a guy using Mad Dog Russo audio clips.
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Howard thanked them for donating money. Robin asked if they like cats. They said they like cats and dogs. They just lost their dog recently so they donated in her name. She lasted 13 years. Mike said she was thousands of dollars in vet bills. Howard said he knows about that. He said he feels like he's supporting every cat in the country. Howard said maybe these guys will adopt that Kuwaiti kid.
Howard said it's time for some news. They played a song parody about Robin's boobs to get her started. Howard said the phony phone call they did yesterday to the Live with Kathy show got a lot of kudos. Howard read some email they got about that and some other things. Howard said a vinyl fan is very upset with him too. He went off on Howard about his hatred of vinyl.
Howard said they say that Donald Trump got in trouble this morning on Fox and Friends. Robin said she's reading about that now. Howard said he fat shamed a Miss Universe. Howard had some audio of Trump talking about that. He said she gained a massive amount of weight and she had a bad attitude too. Howard said some people are getting upset about that. Gary said he thinks it's because Hillary talking about him denigrating women and how he talks about women getting fat. Gary said Trump referred to her as Miss Piggy and Hillary brought that up. Howard said now she's the size of the universe. Howard said it seems like they're talking about this nonsense and not the real issues as usual.
Robin read about how Rosie O'Donnell has responded to Trump mentioning her last night in the debate. Robin said Rosie wrote on Twitter that he will never be President. Robin said she also said that he's an orange anus. Howard said he went to bed around 10:15 and he missed him bringing her up. Robin said Trump was talking about how he was only tough on Rosie and no one feels sorry for her. Howard said he thinks that she wants to be done with this. Robin said she's not sure about that. Howard asked who the supporters are voting for. Robin said she's voting Hillary and Mike said he's doing a write in for Bloomberg. Howard said Robin has a great body. He said she must not weigh more than 100 pounds. Howard said she was a cheerleader. She said she went to the same school as Howard and graduated before he did. Howard said she looks good. Howard said they both went to South Side. Howard said he hated Roosevelt.
Robin read about Mark Cuban being in the audience last night at the debate. Robin said he's backing Hillary Clinton. Robin said he's claiming that he's getting death threats from Donald supporters. Robin said at one time he said he would be a running mate for either but now he's in the Clinton camp.
Robin said Howard is an animal lover. Howard said they have cats everywhere. Robin said they were talking about Leon yesterday. Robin asked if he would want to be buried with his cat. Howard said sure. Robin said in New York they have a new law saying that you can be buried with your pet's ashes. Howard said he would do that. Howard asked why it would be illegal. Robin said she has no idea. Howard said that's why he doesn't like people. He said someone actually thought that was a bad idea.
Robin read a story about how they had a computer write a song as if it was one of the Beatles. Howard said he heard about this and the song is horrible. Howard said he can't find it so Fred hit one. Fred played a couple of song parodies about Robin instead. He played a Beetlejuice song too. They eventually found the song Robin was talking about. Howard said it sounds more like something the Beach Boys would do. Howard said the song is horrible. He said that they're putting out an album of robot songs and this is what it came up with after programming in Beatles stuff. Robin said it's impressive it can write any music but it's not that good. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard asked Mike and Robin if they work. Mike said he's a physician. He said he's an MD. Howard said that's impressive. Mike said he does reproductive medicine. Mike said he has one of the biggest IVF facilities in the United States. Howard said he wishes he was a dermatologist. Howard said he has a thing going on. He said he was taking photographs in the woods. Howard said he likes to paint from photographs he takes. Howard said he checked himself for ticks after going into the woods. He said he doesn't have Beth check because he doesn't want her seeing his body. Howard said he had a neurotic fit that he had a tick. He said he had one on his balls once. He said Beth had to pull that off. Howard said he was examining himself and he found something near his balls and asshole. He thought it was a tick. Howard said he started tugging on it and he was tugging and tugging. He said it may have been a skin tag. Howard said he thought he might have to show Beth. Howard said this was near his balls. He said he put on a robe and covered most of his body so she wouldn't have to see anything but his hairy taint. Howard said he got in the robe and put his foot up on the counter. He said he manipulated his testicles to the side and had Beth check. Howard said she got on her knees to check. He said she told him it was just a skin tag. Howard said he'd show Mike right now if he was a dermatologist.
Howard asked Mike if he ever goes home and laughs at people. Mike said he never has to see balls but he has never laughed when he goes home. Howard said he knows his doctor does.
Mike said that Robin worked in the business that Howard is in. Robin said she worked at WNEW and another station. She did the news for Scott Muni. She said her on air name was Robin Sagon. Howard asked if she ever did talk ups for songs. Robin said she didn't. Howard showed off by talking up an AC/DC song. Howard said that was beautiful. Howard asked her to do one. Robin said she has never done that. Howard asked her to do it. She tried it but Howard cut her off saying on wonder they threw her off. Howard asked what kind of money she made at WNEW. She said she worked at CBS too. Howard asked what her biggest pay day was. She said 50 grand. Howard asked if she quit when she met Mike. She said she supported him for a long time actually.
Robin read a story about how riding roller coasters might help knock kidney stones out. Robin said they say bungee jumping also helps. Howard asked how Mike likes that. Mike said that's fascinating. Robin said they did this study by going to Disney World and using real kidney stones in a kidney model to find out if this would work. Howard said he hates those rides. Robin said he hates everything. Howard asked Robin if she misses radio. He asked how long she was on. She said she was on for 25 years.
Howard asked who she hung with other than Scott Muni. She said she hung out with Meg Griffin. She hung out with Dave Herman who did a talk show with her. Howard said he's not sure what was going on with Dave Herman near the end. Howard asked if she ever worked with Cousin Brucie. Robin said she did. She said she said something about Dick Clark that upset him. Howard did his Cousin Brucie impression for a short time. Howard asked if she dated anyone famous. She said she dated Randy Newman. She said she didn't bang him though. She said she lost her job around that time too. Howard asked if she made out with him. She said she did. She said she didn't have sex though. Howard asked how far they went. She said they just made out.
Howard asked if she dated any of the other jocks. She said no but she hesitated so Howard took that as a yes. Howard asked if she was friends with Meg. She said she was. She said Meg was married at the time. Howard said Meg wouldn't even look at him. Mike said Meg likes horses so Howard should have gotten into that. Howard said no way he was going to do that.
Howard asked if Robin ever worked with Zacherley. She said she did. She said she worked with him just once or twice. Howard asked if she banged him. She said she didn't. Howard said he was great. Howard said she's a real radio pro. Howard said she knows them all. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin got back to her news and talked about how depressing the show Transparent has gotten this season. That led to Howard talking about how there's something called Gender Non-Binary. Howard played a clip of a person talking about how they don't identify with either sex. Howard said people are just making stuff up now. Howard said he's thinking this is like a Jews for Jesus kind of thing. He said he understands transgender, gay, bisexual and all of that but he's not sure if he's going for this non-binary thing. Robin said there is a movement to erase pronouns. Howard said he might be for that.
Robin read a story about a woman who is suing a hospital over the way they treated her son as a girl. Robin said the girl committed suicide after her stay at the hospital. Robin said the mother thinks that may have contributed to it. Howard said that has to be tough being a doctor when all of this is going on. He talked to Mike about that for a minute.
Howard asked Mike about his job and how he gets to see a lot of women's bodies. Mike said the body is a very diverse thing. He said that he does a fair amount of surgery too. Howard asked if he's ever caught a whiff. Howard said he knows that confidential. Howard said he can imagine what goes on down there. Howard said his buddy Lou became an eye surgeon. Howard said he thinks about the downside and the upside of those jobs. Howard asked if patients ever flirt with him. Mike said they have to draw lines there. Howard said he would be professional. Howard wondered if a beautiful woman came in to be examined and she's naked there. He wondered if he would go home and masturbate or keep it professional. Mike said you have to keep it professional. Howard said Mike seems like a good man. He said his wife seems like a good girl too. Mike said it's fascinating to them to have different career paths. Howard said his wife did date Randy Newman so maybe she did step over the line. Howard said he thinks he dated everyone he interviewed when he was single though.
Robin read a story about Elon Musk and how he's expected to share his plans for a city on Mars. Robin said he's going to reveal a Mars spaceship that can carry 100 people to Mars. Robin said Musk will be talking about this today at 1:30 Central time.
Howard said he has a clip of Robin Sagon doing a news clip. Howard played the clip of his guest reading a news story on a radio station. Howard said look at her. Howard asked if she ever blurted out that she banged Randy Newman. Robin said she did not. Howard said that must have been early on at WNEW. Howard said they got rid of the news eventually. Robin said they did phase it out. Howard said his crack staff found a ton of clips. Howard played another one where Robin read some news. Howard said she sounds so professional. Howard said he sometimes listens to his own show in the shower to hear if it sounds professional to him and it never does. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about morning sickness and a study that was done that found nausea indicates a healthy pregnancy. Howard said of course it does. Howard said they came up with a drug that helped with nausea but it caused Zika like babies. Howard said that you just have to deal with the nausea.
Howard asked mike what the success rate is with IVF. Mike said it has to be broken down to the age of the female. He said they have seen a 45 year old get pregnant with her own eggs. He said they can get just about anyone pregnant with someone else's eggs. He said he's seen a 52 year old get pregnant that way. Mike said in New Jersey they have mandated infertility health coverage. Howard asked how much it costs to do that. Mike said insurance covers 80 percent of their patients. Howard asked what it would cost him. Mike said it's $10-15,000.
Robin read about today being national voter registration day. Robin read about where these voter registration centers will be set up. Robin said if you need to register today is the day.
Howard asked if Mike has ever gotten a woman pregnant with the wrong egg. Mike said he has not had that problem.
Robin read that Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts have split after 11 years. Howard said he was shocked by that. Howard said he met Naomi once but he didn't get to talk to her about her marriage. Robin said Goldie Hawn says the key is not to get married. Howard said she has a good relationship with Kurt Russell. Robin said that's right.
Robin said a lot of people were asking Trump why he was so angry last night. Robin said he's saying that there may have been an equipment malfunction. Howard said there was no difference. Trump claims he had a defective microphone. He said it wasn't working properly. Howard said he didn't detect that at all actually.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if his guest Robin meant that she worked at WOR or WLIR. Robin said it was WLIR. The caller said that Rosco didn't work there. Robin said he did come there at least once. The caller said that people should look up Rosco. Howard said he really doesn't care so he's going to hang up on this caller.
Robin had more about the debate last night and had Howard play some audio clips of people talking about the debate. Robin said the polls are saying different things. Robin said one poll says that Trump won with 80 percent of the vote and another said Clinton won with 67 percent. Robin said there's no way to declare a winner at this point.
Robin said that Lester Holt is being criticized for not controlling the candidates during the debate. Robin had a clip of someone critiquing Holt about that. Howard said he thought he did a good job.
Howard went into an impression of his mother talking about how she wanted Mike to get her pregnant with a black baby. Howard said if she goes to him she should shave down that bush. He had his mother talking about how that's how a woman should look down there.
Robin asked if Howard thinks his mother had an extensive sexual history. Howard got back into his impression and had his mother and father talking about the sexual history. Howard had his dad asking ''who?'' when his mother was saying she was on the phone with Robin. Howard had his mother talking about how she had sex once she met her husband. She said everyone is hung up on sex and it's enough of that. Howard did that for a few minutes.
Robin read a story about menopause and had some audio clips of a doctor talking about the drive to move after menopause.
Robin read a story about the Marlins beating the Mets last night and it was their first game since the loss of Jose Fernandez. Robin had some audio clips of some of the players talking about Jose. Howard said Gary said it was the saddest thing he's ever seen. Gary said everyone was crying. Gary said it was so sad he's sorry he watched it.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
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Howard started the show talking about how he was doing a show for Benjy but he had to stop to do this show. Howard said he was talking politics with him. He said they were getting into it. Robin said he should have invited them in. Howard said they were going down the rabbit hole. Howard said Benjy is a good man and he's trying his best.
Robin asked what he's doing with the headphones. Howard said he puts the headphones up so they look like hair. Fred said it's a headphone toupee. Fred said they should put hair on the headphones. Howard said he'd let him do that. Benjy said he'd love that. Howard said that's an item they can market. He said he's perfected the way of adjusting the headphones to meet where his hair stops. It appears he has a nice hairline of leather. Benjy said the cored could be a girdle.
Howard said Benjy has Periscope and he was walking down the street and some homeless guy tried to beat him up. Benjy said he was doing a Jackass kind of thing. Robin asked if he bothered him. Benjy said no but Howard said he was walking around telling people that he's a male hooker trying to have sex with them. Benjy said he sensed this guy was kind of messed up. Howard asked if he hit him. Benjy said he took something out of the back of his pants. He said he thought it was a gun but it was a silver can. He thought he was going to mace him.
Howard played the clip of Benjy on the street doing his Periscope thing. Benjy said he was hooking and this guy told him no pictures. The guy told him to stop with the picture. Then they got into a scuffle. Benjy told him to get the fuck away from him and called him a mother fucker. Howard said Benjy leaves there early every day to do this. Benjy said this was on the weekend. He said it was the day of the terrorist attacks. Howard said it sounds like he's up to some good stuff.
Benjy said he was going up to cabs trying to find some fun. He said this guy came up to him ready to attack him. Howard said you can hear him asking if he was taking his picture. Benjy said he was telling him to get out of his neighborhood ''fag'' so the guy thought he was gay.
Howard said Benjy made zero dollars as a hooker. He said he's surprised. Benjy said he called the police after that. Howard said it is funny. Howard said he felt bad for the people being hassled by Benjy. He said Benjy was saying he was a hooker and the guy just stares at him. He said he's not sure what he's doing.
Benjy said he told the police about it. He said this guy was like a vigilante. He said he was going to attack him because he didn't like him hooking or whatever. Robin said he didn't want to be filmed. Benjy said he was talking about filming near the train entrance because that's what terrorists do. Howard said the guy might live there. Benjy said he has no right to attack people. Howard said he agrees with him there. Benjy said he was nervous to call the police. Howard thanked him for that. He said Benjy's headphones just moved and his bald spot is showing. Howard thanked Benjy for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he heard the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Howard said he heard from Gary about it. The caller said Michael Rapaport is just being mean to Gary. He said there's no comedy behind it. Howard said the guys started a fantasy football league and they spend too much time thinking about it and talking about it. Howard said Michael Rapaport seems really angry. He said he didn't hear the show but Rapaport calls Sal's answering machine all day mouthing off about Gary. Howard said it's obsessive. He played a clip of Rapaport talking about Gary and Sal and going off on them and even Steve Brandano. Howard said this goes on all day.
Gary said Michael doesn't hate him because he does this to everyone. The caller said he thinks he's trying to be funny but he's not. Howard said he's talking about rape and gorilla and ape and all of this. Howard said he wants nothing to do with this league. He said he interprets this as all of the guys being freaked out by the guy and they want him out but they don't have the balls to do it. Gary said that's not true. Gary said they don't want him out. Howard said JD does. Gary said JD came to him and said that the league gets to be too much. He said JD is trying to work and do this in his spare time and these other people do it all day long.
JD came in and said it's too hard to compete with three people who do it for their lives. Howard asked if he doesn't like the bad ass talking. JD said he's not a fan of trash talk so that's another reason to get him out. Howard said Rapaport is the only interesting one. Gary said he wasn't even in the league when it started. He said there is trash talking but it's light. Howard said how about ending the league and not do anything fantasy. Howard asked how he gets that. He said that's his fantasy.
Gary said for a lot of people in the league it was fun but Rapaport is making it not fun. Gary said he was the one who brought it in. Howard asked about this ex porn star Lisa Ann. Howard said she's really cute. JD said she's really nice. He said her body is fine to him. Howard said she's very pretty.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they have to man up. He said Rapaport is the best thing to happen to that league. JD said they hear it every day and the listeners are only hearing it a little bit. Howard said their email is filled with this stuff. Jason came in and said it's not just a little bit of trash talk.
Howard went off on Gary for not using the right microphone in the studio. Jason said that someone will send out one email and Michael will write 5 back where he's bashing the person. Jason said they all come to him too.
Will said that they don't all feel this way. He said he thinks it's good for the league. Jason said Will hasn't had the spotlight on him.
Howard said they should get the guys in there and vote to see if they want him out. Howard said Rapaport brings his son in all the time too. Howard said he has gone on a tirade about that. Gary said they had to vote to be in it alone and Rapaport took that as voting his son out. Gary said he could have brought his son in but he doesn't. He said they had a very close vote about the son thing. Jason said it was very scary. He said he was screaming and yelling in their faces. Jason said then he tried to play this thing where he's talking about how it's a great time to bond with his son. Jason said it's like ''fuck you'' when that happens.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it seems like all of the guys are pussies except for Will. Will said he doesn't care. He said that you can't top Matt Berry. Jason said Will complains about him all the time and says he hates him. Will said he doesn't hate him. Jason said Will wants Berry out of the league. Will said he doesn't want him out. He said he's a rules stickler. Will said Jason knows. Will said he had to quit being commissioner because of the rules thing. He said Jason knows.
Jason said they have three people who go through every loop hole. He said Berry knows all of the rules. He said that he'll go by the book on everything when they're just trying to have fun. Howard asked if they want Berry out too. Jason said he doesn't. He said he wants to take a vote at the end of the season. Gary said he thinks they should go back to just being an office league. Gary said they had Jerry O'Connell in it and then he suggested Rapaport. He said he didn't love the idea of having a celebrity.
Howard asked where Rapaport is. Jason said he must be sleeping. Gary said he would like to ask him to take it down a notch or he might be voted out. Gary said he doesn't care about being called names but he doesn't like the way he treats other people. Jason said it's relentless emails. Will said he could just delete them. Jason said he does.
Howard said he'd still be annoyed if he had a lot of emails to delete. Will said there are only about 5 a day. He said he'll go off on Lisa Ann and she'll write back to him and then Rapaport will say he didn't even read it. Jason said he'll keep writing to her and she'll ask him to stop.
Gary said the other thing with Rapaport was when he had his kid in the league and they had a rule about it. Then he just ignored it. Howard asked why he doesn't bring his son into another league. Jason said he just wants to be a part of this one. Jason said he has a whole team back there with him but this year they told him to stop.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she carried a Flat Ronnie across the line at the Boston Marathon. She said she just wanted to say that a lot of them don't care about fantasy football but Rapaport brings a new life to it. Howard said he doesn't give a damn about fantasy football but it is kind of fun that he's blasting these guys. Gary said they're not doing it for that though. He said they're not doing a radio show about it. Howard said they did a whole Wrap Up Show about it.
Howard asked if Jon Hein is in the league. They said he is. Howard asked Jon why he stays out of this stuff. Fred kept playing a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' clips. Howard went off on Gary about the headphone thing again. Howard said they said the other day it was going to be 3 and he just told him it was 1. Gary said he's sorry.
Jon said he doesn't let Rapaport get to him like the other guys. He said he likes hearing what the guys complain about. He said Jason is complaining about his relentlessness and he thinks about how it's Jason saying that. Howard said Jason is relentless. Jason said that's fair enough. He said he'd like to go on and write back to Rapaport about the emails he's sending.
Gary said he gets bored with the Rapaport thing on the Wrap Up Show being the same thing over and over. Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing clips of Rapaport. Howard asked if they can get the real guy on the phone. Jason said he has called him 100 times.
Jason said if Jon wants him to be as relentless as Rapaport is in the office he'll do that with ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' Jon said they knew what they were getting with Rapaport. He said he takes it to an extreme but he loves breaking balls. Jon said he happens to be a great actor so that's what they get out of it.
Gary said what bothers him is when he has gone over the line. He said they spoke to him and then he just acted like he didn't hear him. Jason said that there are people whose lives are affected by what he does on the air. He said he goes right back to it.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she loves Rapaport but he does get obsessive. She said they may need to check in with him to see if he's okay mentally. Howard asked if they think there's something going on there. Gary said there is something a little off. He said he might need to be seen. Jason said he's about to have a second restraining order. Robin said they wanted him in the league.
Howard took another call from a guy who said these guys can't handle Rapaport. He said he's great and he's turned it up to 11. Gary said this is a side thing and a hobby. He said this isn't being done for radio. Howard said he thinks it's a career advancement for him. Gary said it is because he got a radio show out of it.
Jason said the other thing is that he's like a spurned girlfriend. He said he can't take his call during the show and he gets upset and acts like you've offended him personally.
Howard took a vote. He asked if they could kick him out of the league would they do it. Howard asked JD first. JD said he does not want him or Matthew Berry or Lisa Ann in the league. He said anyone who lives their lives on fantasy has to be out. JD said it's their life. He said it's getting less enjoyable and he'd rather have it in house. JD voted Rapaport out.
Howard asked JD if Lisa Ann agreed to bang him if that would change things. JD said he'd have to talk to his girlfriend first. Robin said he's so funny.
Howard asked Gary if he wants him out. Gary said his answer today is no. Howard said he's talking about him not changing. He asked if he wants him out as of today. Gary said he wants him out. Howard said he's writing this down. Gary said the two people who don't work there he thinks he knows their vote. Howard asked if Scott is in this too. Howard said if he gets down there maybe they'll take his vote.
Howard asked Jon Hein if he wants him in or out. Jon said he can stay in. Howard said he just hit 'em with the Hein with that one.
Howard asked Jason what he thinks. Jason said he thinks that he agrees with JD. He said he wants Rapaport out. Will said he's shocked. Jason said he can't deal with the constant phone calls. He said if he doesn't pick up he will call 3 or 4 more times.
Howard took Will's vote and he voted for him to be in. Howard said it's 3 outs and 2 in's so far. Jason said that Ben Barto is also in the league. Howard asked Ben to come in with his vote. Scott the Engineer came in first. Scott said he loves having Rapaport in the league. He said he's a great guy. Howard asked if he picks on him at all. Scott said he does. Scott said he votes to keep him. He said he complimented him the other day when he beat Lisa Ann at something. Jason said he as shitting on Lisa Ann.
Howard said they have 3 out and 3 in so far. Howard said Ben Barto is working and he has voted via text. Howard said he has a write in vote. Howard said Ben writes that he votes Rapaport in. Howard said that's 4 in and 3 out. Gary said he hasn't taken all of the votes yet. Gary said they have to take votes from Lisa Ann and Matthew Berry. Gary said he can get their texts. Howard said he thinks they'll vote them out too. Howard said if they want to make it an in house vote Rapaport is still in. Fred had the People's Court music playing while this was going on.
Howard said he took an honest vote about this. Howard said Scott even came in to vote. Will said the no votes are going to pay. Gary said this is going to be his last year in the league if that's the case. He said he doesn't need this shit. JD said he's with Gary there. Howard asked if they will start their own league. Jason said that if there is no Gary or JD then there is no league. Jason said he wants to be in the league with people from work. Howard said he left out Lisa and Matthew and Rapaport. Howard said the people at work have voted to keep him in. Will said if they leave then he changes his vote. He said he will vote all three (Rapaport, Lisa and Matt) out. Howard said according to this vote they still want him in.
Howard said Rapaport has gotten under Gary's skin. Gary said okay to that. Jason said he isn't in any league that has someone like Rapaport in it. He said people don't quit over the way they're treated. JD said Rapaport has crazy fans too. Robin asked if they're like kids being bullied. Scott said he sent out an email saying he didn't have time for this stuff and he has been left alone.
Jason said he beat Scott the first week and he said something to him in the hallway about it and he stormed off and got upset. Scott said he's done with the bullshit and he told them that. Gary said he takes enough shit from the rest of the crew there. He said he doesn't need another person doing it. Howard said he wishes he had Rapaport on the phone. Gary said he knows what he would say. He did an impression of him calling him names.
Howard asked Scott about sending out a picture of an erect penis to the group. Scott said that was last year. He said he's done with the bullshit. He said he doesn't have time for that now. Howard said Scott sent that out and it was like bringing a bazooka to a gun fight.
Howard took a call from a woman who said they're a bunch of cry babies. She said that they would do anything to have their job. She said she wants Rapaport 24 hours a day. She asked what's wrong with them. She said stand up to him.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he's tired of this stuff and they have to get Kate Hudson on the Sybian. Howard let that guy go after that.
Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said Scott has the right idea and he can ignore this stuff and just play the game. Will said Scott doesn't take the brunt of it so he doesn't know. Will said no one cares about Scott.
Gary said he invites the guys to his house and Rapaport always mocks him. He said he doesn't need that. Gary said that he invited Rapaport and he just showed up with his kid.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was thinking of joining a fantasy football league and this has convinced him not to. Howard took another call from a guy who said he wanted to call Gary a disingenuous cunt. He said they're all over talking about fantasy football and it's a bald faced lie. Gary said he doesn't get on and talk about it. He said if it's all over the internet then it's Rapaport talking about it.
Will said he's the one who wanted to keep it just in the office. He said Gary insisted on having a celebrity in it. Howard asked Gary if he was the only one who wanted a celebrity. Gary said they all wanted a replacement for Jerry O'Connell. Will said there were other guys there who wanted in and they were left out because of the celebrities. Gary said he was one of the people who wanted them in.
Howard took a call from a guy who said maybe he finds himself too much like Rapaport. He said he's just having fun. Howard said the guys aren't having fun. The caller said Scott doesn't play into that stuff. Jason said the ball busting is fun. He said Rapaport takes up so much of it that it shuts everything down. He said he'd love to send a note to JD busting his balls but he can't because Rapaport shuts it down.
Will said the other thing is that Rapaport's team is doing well. If it wasn't doing well then they wouldn't be complaining. Jason said they don't hear from him if he's not doing well. The caller said if there's no Rapaport then there's nothing to talk about. Howard said Gary wants to take this off the air and have a nice league. Robin said Rapaport has had to ratchet it up to get air time.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was listening to Rapaport's fantasy football show week one and he was so excited to trash talk people. He said you know it's not just with these guys. Howard said they say fantasy football is causing $17 billion in losses for productivity. Howard said he doesn't want Rapaport to get kicked out. Howard said he'd love to see the whole league shut down. Howard said they're consumed with this. He said shame on Jason for being commissioner.
Howard said they didn't hear from Rapaport. Jason said he just got a text saying he's up. Howard said this is going to go on another hour. Howard said he'll tell him to calm down and talk this out. Gary said he told him yesterday that he might get kicked out and he said the league will just suck. Gary said it won't suck, it'll just be what they wanted it to be.
Howard said he'll explain to him that he's taken it to another level and a lot of them are upset. Howard said he could call his parents and tell them.
Howard asked where he is. Jason said he said he's calling. Howard got the call. Rapaport was on the line and said they're probably talking about his emails. He said they woke him up out of bed. Howard said he can tell him what's going on. Howard said his bad dream is his nightmare. Howard said these guys should be working. Howard said this is the last time he's going to talk about this.
Howard said what he's ascertained is that the general consensus is that they just wanted to have fun in this league. Howard said they didn't want to get on Twitter and all of that. Howard said he's relentless with the emails and bitch talking. Howard said he took a vote and he almost got voted out. Howard said he's still in by one vote. Howard said Jason, Will and Gary said they'd vote him out. He said JD said he'd quit too. Rapaport laughed. Howard said Gary said if he can get him to calm down somewhat they he might keep him in. Howard said the other beef is that he wants to do male bonding with his son but it's supposed to be just one person. Howard said according to Gary this is his place to bond. Rapaport said he can bond with his son other places.
Rapaport said he's not talking to the other guys right now. He said he's only talking to Howard. Howard said Rapaport is a rule breaker according to these guys. Rapaport said they voted his son and his friends out of the league. Rapaport said his kid and his friends came with him and they're really good at it. JD said they had issues with the draft when they heard kids in the background. Gary said he had a whole team of kids picking the draft. Rapaport said no one made a big deal out of it. Jason said they almost stopped the draft that day.
Rapaport said they voted to make him keep his son out of this league this year. He said he did that and he's still fucking them in the ass. Gary said he thinks he's a genius after week 3.
Howard said just delete his emails and don't read them. Rapaport asked when this became a politically correct thing. Rapaport said he just got out of bed and he has his nose strip on. Howard said just snore. He asked who cares. Rapaport said he gets snot and his nose bleeds. Rapaport said these guys claim they're busy but they're not busy. He asked what gorilla face is doing at this point. Howard said they do a lot of stuff around there. He said even Gary does.
Rapaport said the staff has turned soft. Howard asked if he's saying he's going to continue his wrath. Robin said if the other two people got to vote then he'd be out. Rapaport said he and Matt Berry are good. Gary said he'd love to get him on the phone to find out. Rapaport said Gary is just a few gorilla feet behind in this. Howard said he has it down now. Howard said he thinks that Rapaport is stating he's not changing and he's going to trash talk and call them names. Howard said he's going to phone call them and that's it. Gary said they did settle it. Gary said next year might be a different thing. Howard said Gary has said he might leave and JD will leave. Then Will said he would leave if they leave. Howard said they might start a new league.
Rapaport said it's called the Howard Stern fantasy football league. Howard said his name isn't on it. Jason said it's the Emotional Friends fantasy football league.
Rapaport asked Robin how he should behave with this. Robin said she enjoys it. She said this is what it should be. Howard said he enjoys it as a bit on the radio but if he was in a league he'd wonder what the fuck fun this is. Howard said he likes this hoopla but he can see why Gary would get upset about it. Howard said he enjoys the wackiness but it's about to disband over this.
Gary asked if they were all in a painting club and this was going on what would he do. Howard said that would never happen. Jason asked Howard what he'd do if he was playing poker and this was going on. Howard said he thinks he'd find it funny. He said he wouldn't subject himself to anything uncomfortable. Howard said this is all nonsense to him. Robin said if they don't trash talk they're doing nothing but writing on a piece of paper. Rapaport said exactly. He said this is the first year he's kicking ass and now it's not fun. Jason said he was in second place last year. JD said he's been annoying every year for him.
Howard said he's telling them that if Rapaport doesn't tone it down he's going to be thrown out. Rapaport said it hurts his heart to hear that. He said he's going to keep tweeting about it but he'll stop with the emails and phone calls. He said he has to whip these mother fuckers into shape.
Howard said maybe they should man up for a week and blast the shit out of him. Gary said he has no desire to do that. He said that brings him discomfort. Gary said he's not up for fighting. He said he wants peace in his life. Jason said he'd have to take a week off to fight with Rapaport. He said Rapaport isn't working regular hours. He said the guys there are all working about the same hours but Rapaport isn't working the same hours. Rapaport said he finds the time to do that stuff. He said he never insults Jason.
Howard said he's in a new Woody Allen show for Amazon. Rapaport said he's in all kinds of stuff. He said he's not just a shlep on the corner. Jason read some of the texts he's sent to him. He said it's funny when he gets them on a Sunday afternoon but not at work. Howard said Rapaport is going to do what he does and they have to deal with it. Howard said he didn't mean to spend a whole hour on this.
Rapaport said shame on Will for bowing down to them. Will said he was on his side until the guys said they were all going to leave the league. Rapaport said JD is a pussy.
Howard said Rapaport has stated he is not changing. Howard said it might be worse for them now. Rapaport said they told the principal on him. Howard said it's going to be bad over the next couple of weeks. Jason said he's going to forward all of the emails to Robin so she can see what's going on. Howard said Robin doesn't read them anyway.
Howard let Rapaport go. Rapaport said the guys will be hearing from him soon. Howard let him go after that. Howard said court is over and Gary is not happy. Howard said he stormed out. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from a guy, Chad, who said he noticed Beetmoji was top 3 in the App Store yesterday. Howard said that guy is amazing. He said he's like Trump. Chad said people said they can't figure out how to make it work but they love Beetlejuice. Howard said it would be great if he got rich off of that app.
Howard said they took clips of Ronnie from the other day when he became smart about telling that guy how to handle his girlfriend with the bad breath. Howard said they called Beetlejuice with the audio of Ronnie and had him tell him that he really cares about him but he has a little problem with is breath. Howard played the clip and Beet went off on Ronnie when he told him he had bad breath. Beet asked who the fuck he is. They had Beet talking to Ronnie for a couple of minutes. Howard said one thing Beet knows is that he's not gay. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard said he is curious to find out what happened. Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man and said he finally made himself interesting. Speech Impediment Man said he went to the bank right away and the money was there. He said he immediately put it in a different account. He said everything is in his name. Speech Impediment Man said he wants to thank Howard and all of the fans who wrote him. He said he got a lawyer who he's meeting with tonight.
Howard said it sounds like his wife wasn't looking to clean him out. Howard said he did give her $30,000 to pay bills but okay. Howard said he's in okay shape then. Speech Impediment Man said yes. Howard said he figured he lived from paycheck to paycheck. Speech Impediment Man said he was going over what he has paid for her over the years and he figured that it was more like $47,000 or so. Howard said it costs money to live so yes. Howard said the Speech Impediment Man empire is still intact. Speech Impediment Man said it is for now.
Robin asked if Speech Impediment Man is going to look for a new place to live. Howard said he had the apartment in her name. Speech Impediment Man said she wanted to be close to her daughter. He said that her credit is better than his too so that's why they put it in her name. Howard said she makes more money than him so she's probably nervous about him.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man's banker. The caller was speaking like Speech Impediment Man and saying that he's still broke. Howard said everyone in his town speaks with a speech impediment. Howard asked what the banker wants to tell him. The banker told him to get a job.
Howard said the new lawyer is on the phone too. Howard picked up on the wife's lawyer actually. He said he's representing the wife instead of Speech Impediment Man. Howard asked what Speech Impediment Lawyer is saying he wants. He said he'll never hold up under cross examination. Howard said it's going to be one big speech impediment divorce. Robin said it's good to hear Speech Impediment Man laughing today.
Speech Impediment Man said he wouldn't wish this on anyone. He said he's been up and down. He said he's gotten a lot of twitter responses from the fans. Howard told him to start dating as soon as he's separated. Howard said he's glad Speech Impediment Man didn't get cleaned out. Howard let Speech Impediment Man and Speech Impediment Lawyer go after that. Speech Impediment Lawyer and Speech Impediment Banker were going back and forth telling each other to hang up. They were talking like Speech Impediment Man and goofing on each other. They had Howard cracking up. Howard said see what Speech Impediment Man has done now. Speech Impediment Man said at least he's interesting now. Howard said maybe he'll hang up first since the rest of them aren't hanging up. Howard hung upon Speech Impediment Lawyer but he still had Speech Impediment Man on the line. Howard let Speech Impediment Man go and said he's happy for him. Speech Impediment Man thanked him for all the help.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has some advice for Speech Impediment Man. He said he loves him to death. He said he's going through a divorce and he came home one day and there was a moving van in front of the house. He said that's how he found out. He said he must have missed the memo. He said he was going to the bank to take out half the money from their account and she told him not to. He said she went out and did that herself and then ran up her credit card. Howard said it's just one horror story after another. Howard said you need a pre-nup. Howard said it's not a bad idea to sit down with a financial advisor. Howard said it's a contract between two people when you get married. Howard said it's just sort of human nature to break up. Howard said you should figure out how to pay bills and all of that. Howard said you figure out how to split things up if you break up.
Howard had Speech Impediment Lawyer back on the phone and the guy said he wanted to be the caller's lawyer. Speech Impediment Lawyer mumbled out some stuff about representing him. Howard let him go a short time later. Howard said this could have worked out if they had gone to a lawyer before they got married. The caller said keep half to that money Speech Impediment Man took and keep it aside. He said you can't be a dick about it. He said she's going to come back to him for half of it. Howard said he doesn't want to get into this. He said he's getting bummed out.
Howard played a new phony phone call the guys made with a President Obama impersonator. He said he was calling to sell some of his stuff since he's leaving the White House. The host kept hanging up on them when they'd call in. They kept calling in and the host kept hanging up saying it's going to be one of those days. They had Obama trying to sell all kinds of weird stuff. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked what year that song came out. Fred said it was 1983. Howard asked what happened to them. Fred said one of them killed himself.
Howard said that Kate Hudson is there. Howard said Gary got all charged up when she got there. He said he was talking about how good looking she is. Howard said it's great to have her there. Howard said he was thinking about Kate and her life and how he figured it was a charmed life. Howard said here must have been difficult times. Robin asked if she went to school with celebrities kids. Kate said they moved to Aspen so they had a different life. She said they came back to L.A. for high school. Howard asked if all of the kids there were famous. Kate said it wasn't like that for them. She said the one person who was in the class above her was Ry Cooder's son. She thought that was pretty cool.
Howard said when Kate was 15 or 16 he thinks she hung out with the Stones. Kate said it was the first thing she had ever done. She said she was doing a Tommy Hilfiger shoot. She said that she was on Party of Five around that time. She said she ended up doing this Tommy Hilfiger thing and Jesse Wood was there and he's Ron Wood's son so she got to hang out with them a little bit during a recording session. She said Keith showed her around and by the end of it she was able to translate what he was saying. Howard said she's like a Keith Richards whisperer.
Howard asked if the band was flirtatious with her. Kate said no. She said they were talking about when they first met her mom. Howard said that's how they get into her pants. Kate said she thinks she hadn't seen Ronnie since she was a little girl. Howard asked if it's all business with them. Kate said that whole glamorous world just kind of ended. She said it's not so cool anymore.
Howard said Kate must realize it's a wild thing for a 15 year old to hang out with the Stones. Howard asked if she felt she had to act cool around them. Kate said you just don't want to get kicked out. She said it's kind and exciting. She said it was an extraordinary moment. Kate said she loves music. She said she doesn't do it for a living. Kate said she was on Jimmy Fallon last night and sang. She said he was in Almost Famous with her. She said he played the new manager that comes in for the band. She said he gives the big speech and the band drops the old manager.
Howard asked if she watches her old movies like that. Howard said she must have had to audition for it. Kate said she had to audition 4 times. She said she was shooting in Ireland at the time and she had to keep flying in to audition. Kate said she'll never forget the call she got from Cameron. She said she was supposed to play the sister. She said it was supposed to be Brad Pitt and Sarah Pauly in the movie. She said they fell out. Howard wondered why that happened. Kate said she doesn't know. She said she stuck in there though. Kate said he just wanted to audition for Penny Lane. She said she loved Cameron Crow movies and she wanted to be in it. She said to be in that was ''please may I?''
Howard asked if she was nervous being in the movie. Kate said it was. She said it's like coming in there on Howard's show. Howard had some notes about who else was up for her role in that movie. Howard asked if there's some pride in all of that. Kate said she thinks when you grow up the competitiveness is a no-no. She said Kurt was great with it when they were growing up. She said Kurt is brutally honest. She said she loves him so much. She said he's a great guy and an original. She said he's a hard sell.
Howard said her mom is Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell could have been with anyone he wanted. Howard said he took on a relationship with a woman who had two young kids. Howard said most guys won't do that. Kate said she thinks the values that have held them together is family. Howard asked if he advised her in her acting career. Kate said no. She said they knew before she knew. Kate said if you have kids you know if they're performance oriented.
Howard asked if it's hard to come off the spotlight when you're as famous as her mother. Kate said her mom is attracted to people who are not yes people. She said that's why she's with Kurt. She said her mom being grounded and creating a grounded environment made it possible to leave things on set and not bring them home. Howard asked if she felt competitive with her mother when she started acting. Kate said no. She said she felt the opposite. She said she knew she'd be asked questions about her family and she just wanted to do it on her own terms. Howard said it's good her name was Hudson. Kate said it allowed her to go under the radar for 5 seconds. Kate said the first role she got was Escape from L.A. with Kurt. She said that she was told she'd start getting movies and stuff and she didn't want to do it if it was affiliated with her parents. She said she wanted to do it on her own. Kate said she grew up with parents that wanted them to be better at anything than them. She said she understands that now that she has her own kids. She said she wants them to fly as high as they can.
Howard asked if it was tough for her mom and Kurt when she got an Oscar nomination. Kate said she never thought about that. She said there must have been relief for them. She said it was like she did alright.
Howard asked who she called first to tell that she got Almost Famous. Kate said she called the house and they were both there. Howard asked if she can watch herself on screen. Kate said she doesn't like watching herself on screen. Howard asked if a movie comes on if she'll watch it. She said she'll turn it off. She said that she watched Almost Famous with her 12 year old son recently. Howard asked where she was. She was at home. Howard asked if she was laying in bed. Kate said she was in and out of the room. She said it was interesting to see how it held up over time and her son loved it. Howard said that's great. Howard said he can't sit in bed and watch his movie with his kids.
Howard asked how you get better as an actor. Kate said she just started working. She didn't go to college so her parents told her they weren't going to support her anymore. Kate said they over compensated at times to make them aware at how privileged they were. Howard asked if they asked for a new car if they said no. Kate said they would. She said they had money but they wouldn't buy them a car. Kate said she was driving an 82 Saab in the 1990s.
Howard asked if she got the sense that they'd abandon her financially to make a point. Kate said not with Kurt as a dad. She said they're really not like that. Howard asked if she ever told Kurt to back off since he wasn't her biological father. Kate said she never did but Oliver may have. She said he may have done that a few times. Kate said she just wanted the love of Kurt. Howard asked if she was happy for her mother when she found Kurt. Kate said she was. She said they're so different. She said their family is all about family. She said that's all they cared about. She said they both just wanted kids and family. Kate said that was a major priority. Howard said her mom's first marriage must have really blown it. Kate said she was married at 20 and then her mom got married to her father so it was two marriages.
Howard asked if Kate's dad, Bill Hudson, was out of her life the whole time. She said he was in it early on. Then it petered out. Howard asked if she wondered what was going on there. Kate said that's the age old core issue for something like that. Kate said anyone who has had an issue with that is going to manifest itself in some way. She said that she's in therapy and she loves it. She said she has therapists on speed dial. She said she goes to a psychologist. She said she's all for that. Howard said he thinks it's the most important thing if you can afford to go. Kate said it's a fascinating thing. Howard said she goes and self reflects. Howard said if you go through her dad losing interest in you it must bring up a lot. Kate said her mom never spoke poorly of him. She said she was a tough little girl. Kate said she understood what was going on. She said she knew it had nothing to do with her and Oliver. Howard asked how it didn't. Kate said her mom and Kurt never put the kids in the middle of things.
Howard asked if her mother ever went to Bill and asked why he didn't see the kids more. Kate said she's sure she did. She said she doesn't see it as a mess though. Kate said her friends say that she always sees the best in people and find it annoying. Kate said she thinks that being able to separate that attachment is a skill. She said Bill has to live with what he did and it must be painful for him. She said she forgives him. Howard said it must be tough when the guy doesn't know his own grand kids. Kate said when you have a father like Kurt who has been there for the hard stuff she got trust from him. She said it was priceless for her. Howard said he doesn't think she has father hunger. Kate said he must have his reasons for what he did. She said when you add fuel to things it can be bad. She said she doesn't want to add fuel to it even talking about it like this. Kate said it's a 35 year old issue at this point. Kate said it is what it is.
Howard asked when she last spoke to her dad. She didn't say. She said it's sad that he doesn't know his grand kids. Kate said she has a thick skin over it. She said everyone has their shit.
Howard asked how old she was when she went into therapy. Kate said she was maybe 10 or 11. She went to both a male and female therapist. Howard asked who made her go to a male therapist. Kate said she's not sure. She said that feminine energy in the house was something she needed.
Howard asked if she would ever get married again. Kate said she would. She said it depends on the person. Kate said she's not going to go into a relationship thinking that it's the rest of her life. She said she just wanted to say no to the whole boy thing for a second. She hasn't really been dating. Howard asked when she last went on a date. Kate said a guy came up to her the other day. She said she had just gotten off a bike ride and she had her little one with her. Kate said he was an athlete type and he was really cool. She said she thought he asked for a photo and she said yes but he had asked for her phone number. Kate said no one asks for her phone number. She said she was blushing. Howard asked if she would ever go on a dating app or anything. Kate said she wouldn't.
Howard said Kate is into musicians. Kate said she's musical and her whole family is. Howard said maybe they're not good for her. Kate said she likes all kinds of guys. Howard asked if she would date a regular guy like a banker. Kate said she's not sure if she could do the 9 to 5 kind of guy. Howard said that might be better for her. Kate said Howard sounds like everyone else. She said she connects with guys and she doesn't care how. She said she has met some cute ones and she's had conversations. Howard asked about a guy who is 9 to 5 but he's there for her all the time and bonds with the kids. Howard said he's a solid guy. Kate said she needs creative people in her life. Howard asked why she needs that. Kate said Matt is a musician and he's her son's dad. Howard said it seems like she's a world traveler too. Howard said he sees pictures of her all over the world. Kate said she is. Howard said the guy she's with has to travel. Kate said maybe.
Howard asked Kate about who she hangs with. Kate said her best friends are friends she's had forever. She said she thinks they're all cool. She said they're not really famous. She has famous friends. She said she's friendly with Gwyneth Paltrow. She said you go to her house and she's got it all figured out. She said she'll ask if you want something to eat and she's got this roast that's been cooking for hours. She said she's got the kids and all of that.
Howard asked Kate about the guy who asked her out and if she went out with her. Kate said she gave him her email. Howard said he'd wait 5 minutes and email her. Kate said he waited like 5 days. Howard said that's a move. Kate said she likes that calculated move. Howard asked if she said she would go out with him. Kate said no because he travels.
Howard said Kate has two kids and she has to be careful who she dates. Howard said she can't date like she's 20. Kate said it's different. She said Ryder is 12 and he sees everything on his phone. Kate said breaking up is a sensitive thing and she's focusing on her kids. Kate said she meets people and hangs out with them.
Howard asked if she's weary of people who use her. Howard asked if she thinks about what their true intentions are. Kate said she grew up learning that. She said you become pretty aware of what's going on. She said she can sense it. Kate said she chooses to trust people. Howard asked if she gets burned because of that. Kate said she does. Howard said they betray you. Kate said she's been burned by a bunch of people. Howard asked if people call the newspapers on her. Kate said she's sure they do but she's got nothing to hide.
Howard asked if Kate smokes weed. She said she will at times but that's not the person she is. Howard asked if she has that Medical Marijuana thing. She said no but her brother Oliver does. She said he moved to Colorado with his family and he's got enough for all of them. Kate said she loves Olivier. She said he was the one who told her not to get into another relationship. She said he gave her 4 months but the other day she was thinking about how it's been 2 years now. Kate said she thinks the uncomfortable moments she had were when she did a full on shut down. She said she wasn't going to text or do anything. She said that she had some uncomfortable moments. She said that she just felt like shit for a moment instead of going back into it.
Howard asked Kate if she ever sits there worrying that she's running out of time. Howard said she could get hit by a car. Kate said she's really happy now. She said she has great kids and friends. She said she's not shutting out men. She did that for a year after Matt. She said she sees why it's good to shut it down. Kate said she's a flirt and she's quite a prude too. She said she's very flirtatious. Howard said he met her at a party years ago and she was a kid. Howard said she was very flirtatious. Howard said he gets how guys can take that as her being into them. Kate said he realized how people can misunderstand her and think that she didn't like them and things and it turns out she did like them. She said she has to figure out the vibe she's putting out.
Kate said she is the jump in the deep end kind of person. She said that she just wants to go for it if she has an interest. Kate said some of those moments don't serve you the best so you have to slow down. Kate said she worked with this amazing therapist who talked to her about the power of observing. She said that he'd give her tools and things to do to change her perspective on stuff. Kate said she felt more in her own skin after that. Kate said she's less reactive and impulsive.
Howard said Kate is able to figure out who is right and wrong for her. Howard said she said it earlier that she picks the wrong guys. Kate said she's attracted to both.
Howard said when Kate was 15 her mom asked if she had lost her virginity and she said yes and her mom didn't freak out. Kate said they always had an openness. Howard asked if she's going to send her kids to therapy. Kate said she thinks that it's good to learn about yourself and that's the right thing to do. Howard asked if she worries about them having mother issues. Kate said not at all.
Howard brought up the movie that Kate is in that Pete Berg directed. Howard said it's called Deepwater Horizon. Howard said that she's made a lot of money doing romantic comedies. Howard said she's even said that she doesn't want to be in them but she keeps getting cast in them. Howard said she doesn't fight that. Kate said she did Mother's Day with Garry (Marshall) because it was Garry.
Howard asked Kate about some of the other movies she's done. Kate said she's done some really good things. She said she can't get too frustrated by being cast in the romantic comedies. Kate said he just doesn't want to wonder what her next job is going to be. She said there's a time when you have to wait because you're in limbo between being young and old. Kate said from 20-45 is prime. Then from 45 to 60 is going to be weird. She said that might be a weird time. She said she hopes it's changing. Howard said he thinks it is. Howard said then you get into TV. Kate said TV has some great stuff. Howard said TV has come on strong. Howard asked if she would consider doing TV. Kate said she's developing some stuff actually. She said she's working with Kurt and Mel Gibson is going to direct. Howard said that's a controversial choice. Kate said everyone has issues. She said she just doesn't go there with that stuff. Howard said Mel has some issues with Jewish people and Kate was raised Jewish. Howard told her not to tell Mel that. Kate said don't say that.
Howard asked why her middle name is Garry. Kate said it's because of her uncle Garry. She said she was named after her uncle who passed away. She said that she almost changed her name to Garry.
Howard asked about this new movie and how it is doing a serious movie. Kate said it's good. Howard said some actors won't out and promote a movie. Kate said she wishes she had some of that in her but it's not in her. Howard said there are movies where the lead actor won't go out and promote. Kate said it depends. She said sometimes you do movies that go wrong. Howard asked why the go wrong. Howard said you read a script and you believe in it. Howard said it seems good and then you get on set and what happens. Kate said it can be no chemistry or the person you believed in thought that it didn't hit the mark. She said the editing room is an amazing thing. Kate said you go and do the work and when it doesn't turn out the way you hoped it would then you're like ''oh god.''
Howard asked Kate if she has done movies like that. Kate said she has but she won't get into it. Howard asked if they see it before the movie comes out. Kate said they will show it to the actors before it's locked in but just before. Howard asked if she's ever gone and seen something that they totally fucked up. Kate said there was one time she was like ''Ugh.'' She said the movie didn't turn out the way she thought it would. She said the script was good but it just didn't work. Howard asked if she gets depressed over that. Kate said she was down. Howard asked why that is. Kate said you want to do great work. She said you work hard at it and then it doesn't work. Kate said maybe this also comes from her family. She said you will have some shit movies. She said you'll have great ones and shit movies and then some okay movies that you look back on and see were actually pretty good.
Howard said Kate worked with Daniel Day Lewis. Kate said she did. Howard asked if she has to be in love with him when she's acting with him. Kate said he's not difficult to fall for. She said she's not sure what he'd be like in Gangs of New York because he is method. Howard asked if she had to call him by his character name off the set. Kate said they did. She said he called her by her character name too. She said he did it in his Italian accent. She said he would talk about his own kids in character too. Howard said that's surreal. Kate said it was really cool. Howard said he's ask him who the hell he's talking to. Kate said he's so amazing and you watch him work and you wish you had that kind of thing.
Howard asked if she falls in love on set. Kate said actors are not usually her first choice. Howard asked if it's ever happened to her. Kate said you have to go there in some sense. Howard said maybe it's bad to marry an actor because they fall in love on set.
Howard asked Kate if she saw this movie before it was done. Kate said she didn't. She said she saw it when it was done. She said she would see some of the dailies when they were shooting.
Howard asked how thought out she is when she goes on a talk show. Kate said they like to have fun doing that stuff. Howard asked if she thinks she has to dress sexy to do some shows. Kate said she just wants to be comfortable. She said she doesn't think about it too much but she does love fashion.
Howard said Bride Wars did very well at the box office. Kate produced that. Kate said they wanted it to be rated R but they didn't want to go there. She said she wanted to do what Judd did with Bridesmaids. She said they felt it was a young girls kind of movie. She said that she did love the feeling of doing the movie. She said that she had a couple of people tell her it wasn't going to do well. She said she wanted to kick ass. She said when the numbers come in it's great. Howard asked where she was when the numbers came in. Kate said she thinks she was at the beach. Howard said he sees her at the beach a lot. Howard said that's so hot. Kate laughed. She said she likes water. Howard said he does too. He said she likes bathing suits too.
Howard asked when she's on the beach and the Paparazzi catches her what does she feel. Kate said that it really bothers her. Howard asked if she thinks women should be able to do whatever they want. She said they should be able to take their top off or wear a g-string. She said that the Paparazzi have lenses that can zoom in. She said the thing is that it's like a peeping Tom. Howard said it is. Howard said that's the reality. Kate said she doesn't think it's right for them to zoom in on her vagina if she wants to go out wearing a bikini. Howard asked if she freaks out. Kate said her brother will send her the most horrible stuff and say ''Looking great!''
Howard asked Kate about finding out that Bride Wars did well. Kate said her friend Julie Yorn called. She said it was Julie and her publicist Brad who called. Howard asked what she's worth. Kate said she won't answer that. She said Howard has way more than her. Howard said he's going to put her at $60 million net worth. Howard asked if he's right. Kate said she won't talk about her finances. Howard said he thinks he's right. Kate said she doesn't like talking about that. Howard asked if she's embarrassed by her success. Kate said sometimes she is. Howard said Trump is out there bragging about being worth 10 billion.
Robin said she thinks it's great she's doing so well. Kate said sometimes you want to be like ''Yeah!'' but there's so much shit going on in the world. Howard asked if she's worried about the world and her kids. Kate said she likes when things start to feel like they're on fire. She said that's where great art comes from. Howard said that some great art happened in the Vietnam era so he gets that. He said he wishes that stuff didn't happen but it created some great art.
Howard took a call from a guy doing a Daniel Day Lewis impression. It turned out to be her brother Oliver Hudson. Oliver said she's talking shit about him like he's a nobody. Kate said he's so happy because he's wanted her to do the show for so long. Oliver said he wants her to open up more and talk about Dad. Howard said Kate said he's the one guy who can tell her when she needs to get out of a relationship. Oliver said they both see the same therapist. Howard said that's horrible. Howard said it's bordering on ridiculous. Kate said she thinks it's important. Howard asked if Oliver thinks this is good. Howard said that's not healthy. Oliver said he's helped him with his relationship with Kate.
Kate said she just wants a funny guy. She said she just wants someone hot right now. She said it's not for life but just for now. Howard asked who is hot to her other than himself. Kate said she would say... Olivier said ''Oliver Hudson.'' Robin said that's sick. Howard asked if it would be Brad Pitt. Kate said she's all over the place with guys.
Howard said Kate dated A-Rod and that wasn't cool. Howard said he isn't for her. Kate said he wasn't. Robin said they were saying that she was dating him for publicity. Howard asked if she wants someone really hot. Kate said it would be great to argue with a guy and you just think ''Oh but he's so hot...'' Howard said he has a guy for her. Robin said she thinks it's that guy he was at the wedding with. Howard said not that guy. Howard said it's not Orlando Bloom. Howard asked if Pete Berg hit on her during the movie. Kate said no. She said she's known Pete since he was 17. Howard asked if she ever worries about the therapist thinking about her sexually. Kate said no. Howard asked if guys are inappropriate with her all the time. Kate said no to that too. Howard asked Oliver if he thinks that the therapist is into her. He said no too. Howard let Oliver go after that. Howard said it's nice that they have such a good relationship. Kate said he's a great guy. She said he has a wife and 3 kids and they're all funny and great. She said he's such a good dad. Kate said their families get along really well.
Howard asked Kate about this movie ''Deepwater Horizon'' and what it's about. Kate said it's about the BP oil spill in the Gulf that happened a few years back. Howard asked how it is to work with Mark Wahlberg. Kate said he's great. She said he's hot too. Howard asked if that's the type she's looking for. Kate said sure. She said he's that kind. She said he's unavailable though. Kate said they had some making out scenes. She said he does a little dance in his undies for her. She said she was into that. Kate said she thinks she had his poster up on her wall and now so many years later he's giving her a little dance. Howard sake if they're married in the movie. Kate said they are. She said they roll around in bed in the movie.
Howard said he did one movie and he was turned on the whole time. Howard asked Kate if she had that with anyone. Kate said Denzel Washington once said don't be offended if it happens or it doesn't or something like that. Kate said it's being like a massage therapist. She said it happens. Howard said he has never gotten aroused during a massage. He said he'd be ashamed. Howard said he can't even have a good time doing that.
Howard asked if Mark got aroused. Kate said they weren't set up like that. Kate said it was a sweet scene. She said she doesn't know. Kate said they did a half a day shoot in bed. Howard said he'd write in scenes and not even put them in the movie. Kate said she had a sex scene with a guy and they had a very intense sex scene. She said it was the first time she has really been in that situation where it's specific and you have to go there or it doesn't work. She said she was nervous shooting that. Howard asked if she worked out before doing that. Kate said she works out anyway but she didn't do extra for that. Kate said she wants to be the best she can be. She said she's able to do what she wants to do because she's so successful with her clothing line. Howard said she doesn't have time for a relationship. Kate said she feels like she does though.
Howard gave Kate a plug for the movie ''Deepwater Horizon'' and Kate told Howard more about that. She said it's paying homage to the heroes on the oil rig. Kate said unfortunately 11 died. She said it's a full on movie and it was amazing to watch it. Kate said she's never been in a disaster film like that. She said Pete did such a great job with the movie. She said you feel like you're on this rig and it really hits you hard. She said it's very emotional. Howard said the movie opens on Friday, September 30th.
Howard asked Kate who she thinks is hot. He said he'll set her up. Kate said there are a lot of hot guys. Howard said she married Chris Robinson who is hot in his own way. Howard said he feels like he puts a lot of effort into that look. Kate said not anymore. Howard said their music is great. Kate agreed. Howard told her to help get the brothers back together. Kate said sometimes you just have to walk away. Howard said she's all over the place with guys. Kate said she likes the brains. She said that's why she's wondering if she should go for the hot guy. Howard said it would be kind of cool to see her with a Brad Pitt or someone like that. Howard said she'll figure it out. Howard said he trusts in her. Howard said the movie is out on Friday. Howard said he thinks it could be an Academy Award. Kate said she doesn't think so. Howard asked if she was upset that she didn't win the Oscar. Kate said everyone told her she was going to win and she didn't buy into it. She was just happy to be invited to the party. She said she had just met Chris and the crazy thing was it was the first award up and it happened so fast she didn't have time to process it. Howard asked who beat her. Kate said it was Marsha Gay Harden.
Kate said she writes songs for movies. Howard asked if she wrote with Chris when she was married. Kate said she didn't. Howard said she should have. Kate said they did go into the studio and record some stuff. She said that she had it on an old computer of her's. She said they did ''Love Hurts'' together. Howard asked if they ever performed on stage together. Kate said she did sing with him but not on stage. Howard said she should pull a Jared Leto and get a band together. Kate said she gets nervous. She said she was thinking about Sia and how amazing she is at song writing. She said she writes for so many people. Howard said Sia is amazing. Kate said Sia is someone she looks at because she put her stuff out when she got older than most pop stars. Howard asked what she plays. Kate said she plays piano. Howard said he would like to jam with her. Howard said he has a band called The Losers. Howard said she sang ''Nothing Compares to You'' at a charity event. Howard said he played that. He said she's good. Kate said she never sings and it was her mom's charity event. She said David Foster was there and wanted to do something. She said he got her to sing that. Kate said it wasn't a rehearsed thing. She said she's just glad they got through it. Kate said it was great that people who liked her singing. Howard asked how she knew David Foster. Kate said she's friends with Sara Foster. She said she's beautiful. Kate said she has liked wearing sexy things to bed since she was like 15. She said Sara would come over and wear a negligee. Howard asked if they ever practiced kissing or anything. Kate said she wasn't like that. She said she didn't have a wild side. Howard said Oliver must have loved those sleep overs. Kate said she used to have to kick him out of her room. She said he dated some of her friends. She said he had a lot of fun. Kate said he has the wild side. She said Howard would love to have Oliver on the show. Howard asked why he's hiding.
Howard gave Kate another plug and for the movie and talked about it a little longer. Kate said she thinks the Imax experience is going to be crazy. She said you feel like you're there. She said it's intense. Howard said he knows Pete is good. He said Mark Wahlberg is good too.
Howard played some audio of Kate singing ''Nothing Compares to You'' at that charity event. Kate said she loves music. She said she loves music people. Howard asked if she gets really turned on when she's at a show. Kate said no to that. They spent a little longer talking about that. Howard gave her more plugs and wrapped up the interview. Howard asked where she's going now. Kate said back to the hotel and then she's going home. She said she thinks that's the end of her trip. Howard said she's said it all today. They went to break after that. As they went to break they played Cheap Trick's cover of the Beatles ''She Said She Said.''
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Howard took a call from a guy who said Kate sounds nice and hot. He asked if Howard was really attracted to her. Howard said she's very attractive but he's only attracted to his wife. Howard said he didn't see any imperfections on her at all. Robin said there aren't any.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she saw Deepwater Horizon last night and Kate looks great in it. She said her butt looks great. Howard said he thinks he has the movie and he was going to watch it last night. The caller said it was emotional and action packed. Howard said he's going to check it out.
Howard said he had a woman tell him that she wears lingerie every night just so she feels sexy. She doesn't even do it for her husband. Robin said Kate said she's been doing it since high school. Howard said he likes lingerie. Howard said Beth doesn't do it. He said she has her own thing going. Howard said he wears assless chaps every night. Howard said Beth wears comfortable nighties. He said he could get into that whole lingerie thing.
Howard said it's so late and they have to get to news. They played her into it with a song parody. Robin started off with a story about Elon Musk talking about going to Mars to colonize. Robin said that's what he was talking about yesterday in a news conference. Robin said they plan on constructing a rocket system to transport people to Mars. Howard said you'd never be able to go outside. Howard asked what kind of life that would be. He thought about it and said if he had the choice between Syria and Mars he'd probably choose Mars.
Robin read a story about the Ryder Cup golf tournament and how the Europeans are upset about the crazy goings on during the golf games in America where people yell out Baba Booey. They're not used to that kind of thing going on over there. Robin said this British guy isn't happy about the Baba Booey stuff. Howard said we have ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' here now too.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he thinks he could have gotten Kate Hudson back in the day. Howard said it turns out no. The caller said he likes her in movies. Howard said he might be able to get Oliver Hudson. Howard said he always assumes he can't get anyone. He said most people would not want him. Robin said that's most men. Howard said he looks bad today. He said he got a hair cut and it's very curly. Robin said it is very curly. Robin said it's very full. Howard said it's huge. Howard said Toni gave him a hair cut and even his wife asked what was going on there. Robin said it looks very soft. Howard said it looks like an afro. Benjy said he likes it. Howard said he and Beth went out to dinner and they held hands the whole time. He said he's in good shape there. The caller asked if Beth ever looks at younger guys and thinks they're hot. Howard said she has to.
The caller asked if Robin liked the show Vice Principals. Robin said she did and she wasn't totally impressed with the first episode. Robin said she was going to give it another shot. Howard said he really has to go. He let the caller go and did a live commercial read.
Robin read a story about how Dunkin Donuts said 6 years ago they were going to stop serving coffee in Styrofoam cups but her cup this morning is Styrofoam. Robin said they should get on them about that.
Howard took a call from a woman who he talked to earlier. She said Howard hung up on her before she could answer about sleeping in lingerie. She said she does most of the time. Howard asked if she has ever sent in a picture of herself. She said she did a long time ago. Howard said he doesn't want to get excited for her if she's 400 pounds now. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard said it must have been some scene at Kate Hudson's house when they were wearing lingerie. Howard said that Sara Foster is super hot too. Howard said imagine those two running around in lingerie. Robin said it sounds like Oliver wanted in on that. Howard said maybe he should interview Oliver.
Robin read a story about an oil spill in Brazil and how this man was there in Rio de Janeiro and he rescued a penguin. Robin said the penguin now visits the man every year. Robin said they say he comes back every year and they know it's the same one because they tagged him. Robin said he has come to the guy's house every year. Robin said they think it's out of friendship. Howard said he loves that. He loves animals and animal stories. Robin said she loves it too. She said it's so beautiful.
Robin said meth must be an incredible drug. Howard said he took speed in high school and it was horrible. He wondered why anyone would want to stay awake for 4 hours. Howard said you lose your teeth from it. Robin said two people were arrested over meth in New Jersey. Robin said they had a report of some disorderly conduct. Robin said this woman arrived to work and went to the bathroom, stripped naked and refused to come out. Robin said the husband got involved.
Robin read a story about a man who tried to propose to his girlfriend during a Yankee game. Robin said the guy was shaking so much he dropped the ring. Robin said he was around a bunch of fans who helped find it. Robin said then he dropped to one knee and proposed. Robin said the ring fell into the cuff of his pant leg. Robin said the woman said yes.
Robin read a story about a baby that was born with a mix of DNA from a woman and her husband and a donor who had DNA that was resistant to disease.
Robin said tonight is going to be a black moon. That got Howard doing his impression of his mother and talking about how she's not going to get up to see the black moon rising. Robin said no one will get to witness the black moon rise. Robin said the last one happened in March 2014. Howard took a call from the black moon which was just Sal doing his black voice. Howard hung up as soon as he heard him say ''Hello dere...''
Howard had said the guys got him into this show called Strut which is about a transgender modeling agency. Robin said they're going to have a Modern Family episode with a transgender character this season. Robin said several TV shows have had actors who are transgender and this will be a child transgender. Robin had some audio of a transgender child talking about the troubles he's had.
Robin read a story about terrorist attacks being a threat here in the states. Robin had audio of an official talking about the difficulty of homeland security. Robin said this was the head of Homeland Security talking about why ISIS hasn't been defeated. Benjy sneezed during that story. It made Fred laugh. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard asked Robin if she saw Kate Hudson going to the bathroom after she went. Robin said she was on her way out and saw Kate dancing her way toward it. Howard asked why she didn't say something to her. Robin said she wasn't going to stop her. Robin said she knew she'd get blamed for it. Robin said the smell subsided but it was still present. Robin said she didn't spray or anything. Robin said she just wanted to get out of there and back to work. Howard asked how they know this isn't just a cover up. Robin said she doesn't lie about these things. Howard said that drives him crazy. He said he doesn't want to be falsely accused. Robin said no one does. Howard said Kate is a big celebrity. Robin said that's what she's going to think about her next time she sees her. Howard said it'll be all over Twitter today with #Doody. Fred kept playing a clip of Robin saying ''I did not make the doody.'' Robin said the smell was still around a 7 in there. Howard said he would have gone out and said ''It stinks in there!'' Robin said you don't know who is coming in after you. Howard said you always have to be prepared.
Robin read a story about the debate and how it had 84 million viewers. Robin said it broke a record that stood for 36 years. Howard said he's imagining Kate Hudson dancing around the halls and going into the bathroom.
Robin read about how Howard Dean is sticking by his thoughts that Donald Trump may have been on cocaine during the debate. Howard said he doesn't believe that at all. Howard said he doesn't even drink. Robin had some audio of Howard Dean talking about that. Howard said he thinks it was nerves. Robin said maybe he had a cold.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump thinking he won the debate but he cited a poll that was non existent. Robin said he was also in trouble for some statements he made about Miss Universe a couple of years ago. Robin said Hillary brought those up during the debate. Robin had some audio of the Miss Universe who said she was called Miss Piggy by Trump. She said she was 18 years old and it was horrible for her. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked why they don't have Lysol in the bathroom. Howard said that makes it worse. Howard said the smell of the two mixed is worse. He said as bad as the doody smell is it's worse with that. Howard said he heard you can light a match. Robin said she didn't have any with her. Howard took another call from a guy claiming to be from TMZ asking about her doody. Robin said she didn't make a doody.
Robin read a story about Chris Christie coming up a lot in the Bridge-gate trial yesterday. Robin said Christie was denying that he was involved. Robin had some audio of Christie denying he had knowledge of the lane closures.
Robin read a story about Brad Pitt skipping the latest film project promotion. Howard said he should go. Robin said he narrated a documentary and he won't be promoting it. Robin said he released a statement saying he's concentrating on his family situation.
Robin read about how Amazon.com is announcing 3 new series for their Prime service. Robin read about the new series and one is called ''I Love Dick'' and another is ''The Tick.'' One is called Jean Claude Van Johnson. Robin said they'll be out in 2017. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
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Here's what they played on today's replay show:
Today's show was over around 11:10am.
Here's what they played on today's replay show:
Today's show was over around 11:00am.