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Howard started the show talking about how he's writing a song to his wife. He said Robin looks different. She said she turned on a light. Howard said it's different. Robin said she's working on becoming a lighting director. Howard said she should work on his lighting.
Howard said he's working on a song for Beth and he wants to know what she thinks of it. He said he was feeling very appreciative of her cleaning the house. He had a guitar and played the song for her. He had some feedback coming through his microphone. He said they fixed it yesterday. He was turning his head and it was feeding back.
Howard sang the song about how Beth is the perfect wife. He kept getting the squeal from his headphones. He said they can turn that down. He said they have engineers doing that.
Howard said he's trying one more time and if it doesn't work, fuck it. He sang the song again and almost made it through without the squeal. The song was all about the work Beth does around the house to help keep him sane. He sang about how she's not just his maid but his best friend.
Robin said she may not want to hear about his pee stains and urinal in the song. Howard said he should play it for her later. Robin said she would want it to be more poetic.
Howard said he just heard the most beautiful song. He told Robin to ask who wrote it. She did and Howard said he did.
Robin said she did like the music. She asked if Howard wrote it. Howard said he did. He said he's like Dave Grohl. He said he's going to send that off to Mark Ronson to beef it up.
Howard said he kind of fucked it up today. He said he played it much better yesterday. He said he practiced it. He said he got in front of Robin and choked.
Robin said he should have recorded it yesterday. Howard said some of the guys were watching him rehearse. He said Will heard it. Will said he liked it today. He said it was good and heartfelt. Howard said he had a faster version of it but he slowed it down. He said he's bummed that he didn't do a good job. He said he hasn't played guitar in like 5 years.
Howard said he told Beth he wrote a love song for her. He said she walked out of the room after saying okay. He said he thinks he's getting on her nerves. He said she's doing a lot there. Robin asked if he thinks it's going to get worse. Howard said yes. He said he thinks that they're going to be in quarantine for a year to 18 months. He said he seriously does. He said the virus isn't going anywhere. Robin said the course of most viruses is to come and then go. Howard said then it comes back again. Robin said it takes the summer off. Howard said he believes that things aren't going to change any time soon. He said Beth is doing cat rescue and that's exhausting. He said she has no one to help her. He said she's doing everything plus cleaning the house.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the song was really good. He said he can't believe that he doesn't play much. He said it was great. Howard said he did it better yesterday without fucking up the notes. The caller said he thinks Beth will love the song. Howard said Robin thought he had to work on it more.
Howard said pretty soon he'll be the only musician alive and producing new music. Robin said in that case they'll have to accept the song the way it is.
Speech Impediment Man said that song was great. Howard said Speech's wife left him. Speech said he can't pick up chicks with this Coronavirus crap. He said girls have been practicing social distancing for 50 years from him. Howard asked if that's a joke. Robin said that's just the facts. Howard said he can't deal with him today. He hung up on him. Howard said he was going to try to help him with his comedy but it's very difficult.
Howard said Simon Cowell hates being in quarantine. He took a call from fake Simon who said he'd stuck with his wife and he's not sure who else he's going to fuck. Howard spent a minute talking to him. They went back and forth with some insults.
Howard said people are taking selfies with their masks on for this Coronavirus thing. He said they have to stop it. He said we get it. Howard said it's weird because he doesn't want to touch his own mail. He said the exerts are saying that it's probably not on there. He said before quarantine the mail was charities he already gave money to. He said they're begging for more. He said they must give out his address to other charities. He said 95 percent of his mail is people soliciting him for money. He said he got a residual check for 97 cents from the Larry Sanders show the other day. He said it was $1.06 and they took taxes out so it was down to 97 cents. He said he was thinking it was money and times are tough. He said he won't just throw it out.
Howard said he had some bill he was going to pay. He said he usually just rips stuff up and throws it away. He said it seems like they should stop sending out mail. Robin said it must be some automatic thing. She said she can't imagine people have to sit there and send it out.
Robin asked if he got the census thing. Howard said he didn't. He said he's not going to do that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the song he did was beautiful. Howard thanked him for that. The caller said it was kind of like Led Zeppelin's ''Thank You.'' Howard said he appreciates that.
Howard said stop with the junk mail. He said he doesn't want to be handling it. Howard said he makes his charitable donations in December and he's done. He said don't send him more requests. He said if you leave him alone he'll send more money. He said with his luck the junk mail will kill him.
Howard said he heard the staff has a Zoom happy hour. He said one of the staff asked if he wanted to take part in that. He said he asked if they're really doing that. He said he's not going to do that.
Howard said he Zoomed with his daughters yesterday. He said he and his three kids got on and talked for like an hour and a half. He said that was fun. He said they're going to get back on and play games at some point. Robin said she has to know how that works out. Howard said they're going to play Habitat for Humanity or whatever. Robin said it's Cards Vs. Humanity. Howard said he played it once and it was fine. He said he'll play it for the kids.
Robin said there are all of these escape games to play too. Howard said learn to paint instead. Robin said people want to be with other people. Howard said someone was telling him about the kids screaming on the camera.
Howard said Gary is such a weirdo. He said he sent him something to read. He said Gary went on this thing where this Hollywood producer hosts a Zoom show. He said Gary was on it for like 2 hours. He did his impression of Gary talking about it with him and telling him who was involved. He was going on and on about who was on the show. He said then he said maybe he wants to talk about it on the air. He said Gary doesn't send him a link or anything. He asked why he didn't do that. Gary said he and Ross were debating if they should ask him to come on. Howard said he would have.
Howard said if he knew all of these people were on he would have checked it out. Gary said everyone got shut out. He said it only holds 500 people. He said he may not have been able to get in. He said this week there's another one so they'll send him the link. Robin said she wants the link too.
Howard said maybe Gary was right. He said he's already pissed. He said he doesn't want to be blocked from getting in. He said maybe Gary can get in and he'll watch his link. Howard asked who this guy is. Gary told Howard the guy's name and said he's been doing it regularly to raise money.
Howard said his kids were telling him that people are crashing other people's Zoom meetings. He asked how that happens. Gary said he was talking to a friend on Friday and this 12 year old kid was doing classes and someone broke in and put up the N-word on a sign and no one knew how to stop it. Howard said they call it Zoom bombing. Robin said they're going to stop using Zoom for classes now. She said they have a lot of privacy issues.
Howard read the article about how there is no hygiene there in these wet markets and they're known for that. Howard read about how more and more deadly viruses are coming from animals and it's spread easier through these markets.
Howard read about the other viruses that have been spread from animals to humans and how many it killed.
Howard said they keep eating this shit then who knows what's next. He said they're killing us. He said the government could stop it tomorrow. He said they stop everything but this. Robin said they even stop the internet there. She said they tell people what they can read. Howard said they say that the U.S. will cross over 10,000 deaths from Coronavirus this week.
Howard said he was kind of happy Robin was on that Zoom cocktail party. Robin said she ended up with Fred at one point on Zoom.
Howard said they banned the Winnie the Pooh movie over in China because people thought President Xi looked like him.
Howard said Trump should tell the Chinese government to stop the wet markets or we'll stop dealing with them immediately. Robin said we can't even stop people from going out.
Howard said Robin told him he has to get this air purifier that she uses. He said he should have ignored her. He said she seemed to know what she was talking about. He said he ordered three of these things at $900 a piece. He said they say they kill every virus. Howard said for $900 he'll buy one. He said this thing shows up and he unpacks one. He said he's glad he didn't unpack them all. He said they're already being sent back.
Howard said he was cursing Robin. He said it's plastic and they have some nerve charging $900. He said he unboxed the thing and he's setting it up. He said he read that you have to mount it 12 inches from the ceiling. He said you have to create a bracket for it or put it on a book shelf. He said it said don't leave it on the floor or horrible things will happen.
Howard said he went through the setup and plugged it in. He said it has a remote control since it's up high. He said you have to clean it every month. He said Robin isn't doing all of that. He said she has Captain Dennis doing that all for her. He said he doesn't have time for all of that. Robin said she didn't know he was going to get 3.
Howard said if you don't clean it then it can do more damage than good. He said it also has Ozone that it puts out so he's not sure what she's doing. He said this thing can be dangerous. He said it put out a smell and he started coughing from it. He said he threw the thing in the garage and Beth packed it up to send it back.
Howard said come on Robin. He said the thing was horrible. Robin said it works. Howard said she has Captain Dennis to help her out.
Howard said the guy who wrote the article about the Wet Markets is Bradley A. Blakeman.
Howard said he thinks that Ronnie is going to get it. He said he's still going out to get his bagels and stuff. He said he also went out to the bank and things like that. He said he goes out constantly. Robin said her friend went to get tested for Coronavirus after a friend went to the DMV after getting over pneumonia. She said you have to know that is a pre-existing condition.
Howard said Ronnie won't wipe down his food containers either. He said he feels stupid doing that. Howard said he went for a walk the other day and he wore a bandana. He said he felt stupid but he doesn't care. Robin said she was wearing gloves and a mask and people looked at her like she was stupid but she doesn't care. She said she's doing well.
Howard said he wants to take a break and get Tracy Morgan on. He said he can play a prank call and a tune to take a break. Howard said he has to thank Gardein who are sponsoring the whole show today. He said he loves their stuff.
Howard said the boys called Swap Shop and they kept getting interrupted during their call. He played the call and Sal and Richard called Swap Shop and offered to sell some toilet paper for $2,000 a roll. Then they kept getting calls from people trying to buy from them. They called in with a few things that they were selling and they kept getting calls for all of their stuff.
After that they played Foo Fighters ''Everlong'' and an ad where they talked about how they're looking for the next Ronnie the Limo Driver since he's retiring.
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Howard said he looks good. Tracy was on via Zoom. Howard said he loves how well this thing works. Tracy said he doesn't trust it. He said the government is trying something. Tracy wondered how a tiger got Coronavirus. He asked who was 6 feet away from a tiger. Howard said he has a good point.
Howard asked if Tracy is wearing rubber gloves. Tracy said he is but it's hard to finger pop with them on.
Howard asked how he's holding up with this whole thing because he's so social out there. Tracy said he's still out with his cars. Howard asked how many he has. Tracy said he has 11 and he just got a new one. He said he drives around looking for single parent moms.
Howard said his house looks beautiful. Tracy said this is his office. He said it was inspired by Vito Corleone. Howard said it looks like that. He said he acts like Corleone and has an assistant who acts it out with him. Howard asked if he really has an assistant helping him out. Tracy said he asks a lot of questions. He said they've locked down New York. He said he went to a prostitute and she said she ain't selling no pussy.
Howard wondered if prostitutes are working. He said he's making a lot of good points. Tracy said they shut down baseball, NBA and strip clubs. He said he never thought he'd see the day.
Howard asked what he thought about that Spike Lee controversy. Howard said he goes through the same door that Tracy goes through. He said he thinks it's in Poughkeepsie, New Jersey. He said that's a funny name. He said that he wishes he was born in Bayonne. He said he thinks that sounds funny too.
Howard asked how he's doing in the house with a 6 year old. Tracy said he loves it. He said this is like a try out for socialism. He said he wants his $1000 for just staying home.
Tracy said you have to get a survival kit too. He said the government cheese will outlast the Coronavirus. He said now Howard knows what it feels like to be on welfare. He said everyone is equal now.
Howard asked if he has taken a hit in the stock market. Tracy said all of his money isn't in the stock market.
Howard asked if he's able to feed his sharks. Tracy said his sharks had lobster last night. He said Walmart gave him a lifetime supply of toilet paper so he's good. Tracy showed him his shark tank and said it's 1500 gallons.
Howard asked what he does in that office. Tracy said beside masturbating he writes jokes, gets his wife pregnant and other things.
Howard asked Tracy how he does comedy if he's not able to get in front of people. Tracy said he's doing his comedy with Howard. He said this funny ain't going nowhere. He said he's not worried about Coronavirus. He said he's more worried about another Walmart truck. He said he wants Amazon this time. He said he's out on that turnpike every day.
Howard said he's worried about Tracy with his preexisting conditions. Tracy said his are that he's a stupid mother fucker.
Howard said Tracy did something so beautiful. He said he went to a Chinese restaurant and bought food for everyone. He said that was very nice. Tracy said he had his buddy Burt with him. He had him get on the camera with him. Howard said they're not following the rules for Coronavirus. He said the two of them are there together. He asked if they're all living there. Tracy said his older kids aren't allowed in the house. He said if you have a bigger dick than him you're not allowed in.
Howard asked who is taking care of getting groceries and things. Tracy said he has people who clean his stuff. He said he just sterilized his house and they had space suits on. Howard asked who feeds the fish. Tracy said he feeds them. He said Howard is digging deep. He said he loves that.
Tracy said when this is all over this hospital mask will be a training bra at Spring Break. Howard said you can't do that. He asked if that type of mask is the one that keeps out 95 percent of the viruses. Tracy said he's going to keep his mind on where it should be and that's on Gonorrhea. He said after this there's going to be a big break out of that.
Howard tried to talk to Tracy about buying the food for everyone at the Chinese restaurant and how great that was. Tracy was all over the place telling jokes and not really responding to Howard's comments.
Tracy had his barber, Mike, come over to him. He said he has a barber shop in his house. He called Mike over to talk to Howard. Howard said he is a handsome guy. He said he's counting like 17 people in his house now. Howard asked who else he has in there. Tracy called his masseuse over. He said she has a temperature gun on her. He said they take everyone's temperature and put a bracelet on them.
Howard said it's 8:30 in the morning and his house is packed with people. Tracy said he has to look good on Howard Stern. Howard said he has counted 4 people already. Tracy said it's only 3. Howard said he's not quarantined. He said he's going to get Coronavirus. Tracy said he's good. Howard said he is out of his mind.
Howard said he just saw him touch his masseuse and then touch his nose. He said this is how you get Coronavirus. He said he's going to put police tape around his house. He said he could die from this thing. Tracy said he doesn't have it. Howard said he's just worried about him. He said he was in a coma for like 10 years and then he comes out of it and this is around.
Howard said he saw Eddie Murphy doing an impression of Tracy on Jimmy's show. Tracy said that's like Michael Jackson writing a song about you. He said he is in Coming to America 2. He said this too shall pass. He said people are dying from cancer too so we have to fight that cause too. He said his sense of humor is to take your mind off of that shit for just a minute. He said we have to make fun of it. He said if all of us are scared then none of us are going to live. He said he doesn't live in fear every day. Howard said he does.
Howard said he doesn't need a masseuse in his house. He said she's a very attractive woman. Tracy said she is. Howard asked how long he gets a massage for. Tracy said it's about a 2 hour massage. He said everyone is being safe there. He said they have a good time.
Howard said he has to stop driving his car around. Tracy said Howard has to get out of his house at some point or he'll be like Hannibal Lechter.
Howard said Tracy was stuck in his house for like a year. He said this must be nothing for him. Tracy said people are still dying. He said he has friends who have died from this. Howard said take it seriously then. Tracy said this is God's way of testing him. He said he wants people to just forget about it for a minute.
Howard said Tracy is in Coming 2 America. He talked to him about that for a short time. Tracy said the new season of his show ''The Last O.G.'' is on tomorrow night. He said check that out too. Howard gave him a plug for that and said it's the third season of the show. He talked about what they're going to be doing this season.
Howard asked if Coronavirus is God's plan. Tracy said he doesn't know where this came from. He said we are resilient though.
Howard said he hopes to be able to see all of his fish tanks at some point. Tracy said he has an open invitation to come there and check it out himself. He said he has all kinds of things going on there.
Howard asked if he is meeting with his therapist. Tracy said he doesn't have a therapist. He said his masseuse is his therapist. He said his wife is 33 and he's 51. He said whatever she wants. He said he has been popping those blue pills like M&M's. He said his dick don't work no more so he has to take those blue pills. Howard said he can't believe it doesn't work. Howard asked how long it takes for the pills to work. Tracy said it's like 2 seconds.
Tracy was showing Howard around his office and he showed an Oscar award. Howard asked where he got that. Tracy said he bought it. He said it doesn't have his name on it. He said he didn't buy it, someone got beat up in a parking lot for that.
Howard asked if he has Michael Jackson's glove. Tracy said he does but it's in the other room. Howard asked if he can see it. Tracy said he can come over to his 30,000 square foot house and see it. Howard said he's going to come over when this is all over and check it out. Tracy said he just bought a new Lamborghini 4 days ago. He said he ordered it 4 months ago and no Coronavirus is going to stop him from getting it.
Howard asked why he has to get so many cars. Tracy said his daddy was never able to do it so he has to do it.
Howard said he's not sure what's going on over there but he loves him. He said he's famous and wealthy and he wonders when he thinks this will be over. Tracy said they say the same thing about the Knicks. He said Howard asks when this will end. He said he tells Howard to be patient. He said we have to let these people find a vaccine and a cure. He said you must stay vigilant and not pass it along. He said he has a process other than others.
Howard said he has a positive attitude and that's a good thing. Tracy said this too shall pass. He said this is temporary and God is everlasting. He said he has to thank all of the doctors and everyone else who is working through all of this. He said they're on the front lines. He said everyone is trying to do their part. He said this is the equalizer. He said this is God's design. He said he can't wait to hug Howard and Robin after this is over. He said fuck that elbow shit. He said he knows he loves him and Robin. He said they always hug each other. Howard said he did always hug him. Tracy said stop blaming everyone and calm down. He said do your thing and stay calm. He said after that watch The Last O.G..
Howard said he has to applaud that. He said he's more uplifting than the President. Tracy said he has a hard job right now. He said half the country is sick. He said imagine how tough that job is right now. Tracy talked about how he saw a pretty girl walking down the street but then she took her mask off and she had a mouth like Leon Spinks. He said she had Meth mouth.
Howard said Tracy has inspired him today. He said he is a national treasure. He said he's the only guy who has a full time barber in his house during the quarantine. Howard said he likes his hair style. Tracy said he looks like Nat King Cole. Robin said he has a Marcel Wave.
Howard gave Tracy some more plugs for The Last O.G. and talked to him about working with Mike Tyson on the show. Tracy talked about how great he is. He said they have Katt Williams and John Amos too. He said Katt is great and he's glad they wrapped up before all of this happened.
Howard said Tracy is doing great. He said he doesn't think the Coronavirus is going to get to him. Tracy said he has to go off the grid. He said he has to go up into the woods. He said he can be Grizzly Stern up there. Howard said he has the food buckets so he's prepared. Tracy said he's doing too much. Howard said Tracy isn't prepared. Tracy said he is prepared. He said he has 60,000 cans of Spam. He said he was raised on welfare so he can use newspaper for toilet paper.
Howard talked to Tracy about home schooling his kid. They talked about the stuff he has in his house to keep him entertained too. Howard said he loves Tracy and he hopes he's safe. He said he hopes the people there aren't breathing on him. Tracy said they're all doing fine. He said he trusts them all. He said one of the guys might have Herpes. He said that canker sore won't go away.
Howard said he's looking forward to watching The Last O.G.. He thanked him for giving him his time. He let Tracy go a short time later.
Howard said he did something so funny today when he turned his mask into a bra. He said he has to put that video up on the app today. He said he was very funny.
Howard said it appears Tracy has had no inconvenience at all so far. He said he has all of these people hanging out with him. He said he's going to take another break and play a tune or two. He said he'll come back and get to some calls and play some tape that he was embarrassed by. He said he was humiliated on TV. He said he'll share it after a break.
They played an End of the World song parody and a ''Now That's What I Call Progress'' album commercial parody. They played Bruce Springsteen's ''Born to Run'' too.
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Howard said Adam also wrote music for their CBS TV show, The Howard Stern Radio Show. He played the theme for Robin. Robin said she didn't remember that. Howard said they used it on TV. He said he should do something with that.
Howard said he won an Oscar for a song he performed for a movie. Howard played the song ''That Thing You Do'' from the movie of the same name.
Howard said after Adam Levine was on the show he had an idea for the show. He said he's going to come on and do some riffs for the show and they'll have to guess what song they're from. He said Adam also said that he would take fan requests and do cover versions from his house. Howard said that could be kind of cool. Robin said that's a game show with Howard and Adam. Howard said he's like his The Roots.
Howard read more about Adam Schlesinger and had a bunch of things that he's done. He said he also wrote the theme for Crank Yankers. Howard read about who he's worked with and had a song called ''Kind of a Girl'' that he did with a bunch of big musicians.
Howard said Adam worked on Sarah Silverman's The Bed Wetter and they were ready to go into doing that when this whole Coronavirus thing hit. Howard said people are dropping like flies out there. He said he can't watch the news though. He said it's too depressing.
Howard took a call from Balls who said hearing Tracy today cheered him up. He said he wants to thank them for being there for the fans. Howard said he likes Tracy so much. He said checking in with people feels comforting. He said just that scene he saw he is a little concerned. He said he saw a bunch of people in Tracy's house. He said there were at least 4 plus his own wife and kid. Gary said there was also a personal assistant there who set up the Zoom call. Howard said he might be exposed to too many people. Robin said he also had the masseuse running around with a thermometer and that's not going to show everyone who is sick. Howard said half of New Jersey was in that house with him.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie has thought about this retirement thing with all of this going on. Howard said he was supposed to move to Las Vegas for that and he was going to close on his house in 2 weeks and now that's not going to happen. Howard said he might be on the line.
Howard got Ronnie on to talk about his Las Vegas retirement and all of that. Howard spent a minute talking about how he's the guy trying to set stuff up in his house now that he has no team to help. He said he is grateful that he can broadcast from home and do a show but when he gets down there after 2 hours he got cranky fixing the equipment. He said he had a bunch of people telling him what to do. He said he thought he was really bad in that call. He said he should be more grateful. He said when he was a little boy his father bought him a Wallensack tape recorder and he'd do shows into that. He said the rest of the time he was looking for pornographic pictures. He said he is actually living out his fantasy now. He said he is doing a radio show for his house and he has a beautiful woman who is willing to sleep with him. He said he thought that someone should pinch him. Robin asked where that goes when he's miserable. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard said a woman who looks like she just walked out of Playboy is there in the house with him. Robin said she just snuck in and gave him his fruit too. Howard said he should be more grateful for what he has.
Howard got back to Ronnie and talked to him about this house in Vegas. Ronnie said they were going to go there to try to make a deal on the 15th but that's not happening now. Howard asked what his thoughts are on retirement. Ronnie said he wants out of there more than ever with this crap. He said he's waiting to be able to travel and right now he can't. Howard asked if he's worried about being able to sell the house. Ronnie said he is. He said he's not sure how long this is going to last. Howard said he does, 18 months.
Howard said he thought he told him not to go tot he bagel store. Ronnie said he hasn't been out of the house for the past week. He said he went in his back yard over the weekend and that's it.
Howard heard he had his cat outside so he told him he can't do that. Ronnie said his cat can't run so they're not worried. He said it had a stroke and he can't run.
Howard said he heard that Ronnie is complaining that days are going by really slow. He said he has the opposite. He said he's so busy doing stuff that his days fly by. Howard said he knows things are bad because Ronnie was too tired for sex last weekend. He said he has to be miserable.
Ronnie said they had a good weekend. He said Stephanie was home this weekend so that was great. He said they did the Cocktail Hour party over Zoom. He said they had some drinks and ordered in. He said they got some pizza. Howard said he heard he's not wiping down the boxes. Ronnie said Stephanie is. He said the guy handed him the box so he took it.
Howard said if you take the box you wipe it down and wash your hands. Ronnie said they did all of that. He said they put the food in the microwave to warm it up. Howard said he did that with tomatoes the other day. He said he had to kill off anything on them.
Howard said he heard he went to the bagel store again. He said he told him not to. Gary told him that he's able to get his food brought out to his car. He said Ronnie is 70 and he can't be exposed to this stuff. Ronnie said the people in the restaurant are exposed to all of this. Howard said you have to wipe down the bags and wash your hands when you get home.
Howard explained to Ronnie that if you're near someone you can get it. He said you have to avoid that. He said why not ask the guy to bring the food out to him and throw it in his trunk. Ronnie said okay. He said he's not going for a while anyway.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he agrees with Tracy about it being serious but you have to go on with your life. Howard and Robin said no. King said you still need to have a routine. Howard said he agrees with that. He said you have to change your whole life around though. King said he got the good masks. He said he got the N-95 masks. He said he has a whole box. Howard said he hopes he doesn't get it but he thinks he's going to. King said he had cancer, high blood pressure and a heart condition. He said he is taking precautions out there. He said he has to go to the grocery store and things like that. He said he has a routine but you have to have on your mask. Howard said it's part of the key. He said the mask keeps you from touching your face. King said they say it's in the air and it can get to you in an ordinary conversation.
Howard said people are still gathering even with that going on. He said we'll see what happens. King said people don't take it seriously. He said people bring other people into their house and they think they don't have it so they don't think they're going to get it. Howard said we're all doomed if that's the way people think. Howard let King go accidentally. He said he thought that he was going to repeat himself anyway.
Ronnie said his neighbors had a birthday party the other day. He said there were like 10 cars out there. He said this girl went out and took all of these birthday signs and took them into her house. Howard said the whole idea is to keep away from people. He asked what she's going to do with those signs. He said people are idiots. Robin said we have a lot of stupid people who don't know what it means to social distance.
Howard thanked Ronnie for the update. Ronnie asked if he goes outside. Howard said he will go out for a walk. Robin said she's getting afraid to do that. Howard said he was out for a walk and this idiot was out there. He said this guy was walking right toward him so he had to move 8-10 feet away. Howard said it was cold out and this guy was in shorts and no shirt running. He said put your fucking shirt on. He said this guy ran past him about 3 feet away. He said he was right near him. He wanted to call him a dick for getting so close.
Howard said some guy got angry at an old lady for being too close to him and he pushed her and she fell and died. Robin said she read about some other people who were coughing on each other and this guy got sick and died from that.
Robin said a bandana isn't effective at blocking the Coronavirus. Howard said he wears his to keep him from touching his face. Robin said there are masks that will block it. She said she's getting face shields. She said you're protected if you have a face mask.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's not watching the news anymore. She said the problem in her area is that the Hasidic community are still gathering together and the police have to come and break them up. She said she's so stressed over this whole thing. Howard said her voice is less stressed. Mariann said that her daughter is home working and her husband is in the basement eating. She said we have to flatten the curve or we'll never get over it.
Howard said this Jared Kushner is in charge of this whole thing now and he's trying to be positive but what the fuck is going on. He said he thought he was in charge of solving the middle east problem.
Howard said Mary McCormack retweeted this comment from this guy who said that South Korea discovered this on the same day as we did and they have only 180 dead while they predict that we'll have 200,000. He said he started looking at the timeline of events. He said back in January they hear about Coronavirus. He said by January 27th South Korea started working on tests and they made it a priority. He said they were on this thing so fucking quick. He said when South Korea is better at responding than we are... Robin said it was their leadership responding. Howard said it's pathetic how slowly things happened here.
Howard said he was reading about how this Pandemic warning administration was gutted when this new administration took over. Howard said that's another upsetting thing. He went through that story and talked about how it was launched in 2009 and the whole thing was gutted in the ultimate act of stupidity. He said we need government. He said you can't pray viruses away. He said you can't have the federal government blaming the states. He said he doesn't like how this is going.
Mariann said that Dr. Fauci is doing a good job. Howard said he'll be fired. Just watch.
Howard said he should get Beth in here. He said he'll play his song for her. He texted her to come down.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he has never been busier. He said that he also thinks that show Tiger King is awful. He said the people are disgusting and what they do is disgusting. Howard said he's right. He said all of their friends said they have to watch. He said they were blowing that off. He said so many people were watching it so they started watching. He said they got to episode 4. Ralph said he didn't get through episode 1.
Robin said she had to watch to see what everyone was talking about. Howard said Beth said that she's done with it. He said they had a bunch of dead rabbits on the show last night so they had to stop watching. He said he doesn't understand why the show is so popular. Ralph said he doesn't get why he's not watching TV because the news has never been better. He said this is something that's history and he loves watching the news. Howard said Beth is doing all of that. He said he plans on not watching the news. He said he'll read about it after it's over.
Robin said she loved when Andrew and Chris Cuomo were on the air together. Howard said he saw some clips of it. He asked how Chris is doing. Beth showed up so he moved on.
Howard asked Beth what happened when she fell down the steps. Beth said she was trying to skip steps and she fell. She said the cat litter fell too. She said she caught herself so she's fine.
Howard asked why she's done with Tiger King. Beth talked about the scenes that upset her and she ended up crying while she was talking about it. Howard said he loves her that she's so upset. Beth said she's just exhausted. Howard said he has a song for her that he wrote. Howard said she should take a nap in the afternoon. Beth said she has things to do. She said she's preparing for the mama cat.
Howard said he ended up changing her TV room and that upset her. Beth said Howard is working too. She said she's not going to ask him to do house chores. Howard said he's in charge of cleaning the gym and he hasn't done anything there. Beth said that she has some cleaning stuff for him to use in there. Howard said he will do it.
Beth asked how often she changes her sheets. Robin said once a week. Beth said that's when she's doing it too. Howard said they could do it every day. Howard said they should do it every 10 days. He said that's fine.
Beth said she got her Roomba. She said she has to wipe down the box and get that out. Howard said they watch Virgin River on Netflix too. He said that cheers her up. Beth said she messaged the lead in that show but she didn't respond.
Howard said he's going to play his song for Beth. He did that and she laughed at a few things in it. She asked him to record it for her. Howard said he can do a better job than that. He said he worked on it the whole weekend. Beth asked if the tune was stolen. Howard said he made it up himself. Beth said she loved it. She thanked him for that.
Howard said they're going to be quarantined for 18 months. Beth asked Robin if she thinks that's right. Robin said not at all. She said that it won't last that long. She said maybe for Howard it will be but for the rest of the world it won't. Howard said they're there and they have to pace themselves.
Howard told Beth about how he thinks he's living his dream now. He said he's doing a show from his basement with a beautiful woman who is willing to sleep with him. Beth ran off and tripped over stuff so Howard said he'll be right back. Beth hurt herself so Howard had the guys play something. They played a phony phone call the guys made to Jeff the Vomit guy asking if he'd let a woman with Coronavirus vomit on him.
Howard came back and said he thinks Beth is alright. He said she said she's alright. Robin said she's exhausted. She said she's falling down. Howard said he's not sure what to do. She said he has to help out. Howard said he is. He said he's exhausted too. Howard said he told her to stop taking in so many cats.
Howard said he is doing a ton of stuff and they're both exhausted. Robin said she needs rest. Howard said he doesn't know how to make that happen. He said she's not a child.
Howard said he's doing stuff around the house. He said that her TV wasn't working and he was working on that. Robin said things are going to break and he can't fix them all. Howard said he has to fix what he can. He said Beth will let him know when they need people in there. Robin said this can't go on.
Howard took another call from Ralph who said he's single and alone and he was thinking about Beth and Howard. He said he and Beth are all they need. He said they'd be happy living in a shack. Robin said they should move to one now because they can't keep this house up. Ralph said it is too big for Beth to keep up. Howard said they should limit it to just 2 rooms in the house. He said the problem is the cat rescue. He said she has such a big heart that she won't turn away any cats. He said the irony is that the cats are going to kill Beth.
Howard and Ralph talked about how much they have to do around the house to keep up with this stuff. Ralph said just shopping is exhausting. He talked about how he did that on Friday.
Howard played the clip of John talking about the note and how Howard said he loved his performance and ''Most of all the fans loved it.'' He left out a comma and Andy told John what Howard was probably trying to say. John said that shows the importance of a comma.
Howard said that really bummed him out. He said he called him out and he was ashamed. He said it wasn't very scholarly of him. He said maybe he's upset that he didn't thank him enough for that performance. He said he has been grammar shamed and he never thought he'd be grammar shamed. He said he was right though. Howard said he felt very ashamed about that. He said there was no excuse for that. He said maybe one day he'll meet him and thank him for the grammar correction.
Howard said John must show that note to everyone. He said he had it handy so he must do that. Robin said that can't be happening. Howard said he must have shown it to Katy Perry when he was dating her. Howard said the guy is a grammar expert and he's good looking so he has it made. Howard said he's worried about his wife so he's going to go now. He said he'll pick up where he left off tomorrow. He said he's trying to come up with a sign off. He said how about ''Stop the wet markets'' or ''Lysol everything.'' Robin said how about bleach it down! Howard said that works. Someone started the sign off but Robin and Howard were still talking so they muted them. They wrapped up the show around 10:15am.
Howard started the show talking about how scared he is to go outside these days. He said it was about 60 out yesterday and he and Beth vowed to go outside. He said yesterday they looked at each other and said they didn't want to go out because there were so many people out. He said they say you can contract this thing by walking around outside. He said he's having Dr. Agus on again today to talk about that. Howard said they say the next two weeks are going to be the worst ever for Coronavirus. Robin said they say that it's not a good time to go to the supermarket or drug store for the next two weeks.
Gary said that this Dr. Brixx is someone Sal has been going around saying is hot. Gary said he's the only one saying that. Howard said Sal is turned on by anyone. He said pretty much anyone gets him going.
Howard said yesterday the pleasant distraction was that Alec Baldwin's wife is pregnant again. He said this is going to be his fifth kid with this wife. He said he was fascinated by it. He said he wouldn't want to be pregnant right now with what's going on.
Howard said he didn't want to risk going out at all yesterday. He said he's not even clear if it ever leaves your system. He said he has to talk to Dr. Agus about this. He said they say it can cause heart problems now. He said he's like ''what the fuck?'' He said it's all because some asshole in China ate bats. He said even if he was starving he wouldn't eat bats. He said they're not even starving over there. He said there's no way a bat tastes good. He said Gardein makes plant based bat. He was joking but said that they are sponsoring the show again today.
Howard said they did one big shopping thing with Gardein and froze it so that's very cool. Robin said she has a freezer with Gardein in it too. She said she may make meatless meat sauce today.
Howard said he was watching Oprah cooking on her Instagram channel. He said he doesn't believe she doesn't have a chef in that house. Robin said that Oprah quarantined Stedman because he was traveling too much and not taking this quarantine seriously. Howard said she's right. Howard said there are people still walking around like nothing is happening. He said Oprah must have told Stedman that no one needs to see him. He said he can go sleep in the barn or something. He said no one cares if he gets sick. He said everyone cares if she gets sick.
Howard said he knows for a fact that she's not leaving him a thing in her will. He said he actually doesn't know that but he's making it up.
Howard said he's sure he has a lot to talk to Rosie about today. He said they used to talk on the phone every few days. He said he has to ask what happened to that.
Howard said he's not watching the news lately. He said he has to get back to it. He said he can't watch any of it. He said he's too scared. He said he was convinced he had Coronavirus yesterday. He said he went for a walk and thought he got it. Robin said it's if someone speaks to you. Howard said he thinks that he's over Pelotoning. He said he pushes too hard and feels sick. He said he has to pace himself. Robin said he doesn't have to push so hard. She said she thinks she can get into shape now even in her house.
Howard said the Peloton live classes have been canceled so he has to watch the old ones. He said he likes to hear new things so he can't watch.
Howard said the thing that set him off is this fucking Jared Kushner running things. He said there should be a revolution in this country. He said it's too serious a thing to waste time with this kid. He said he looks like a Make a Wish kid and he's sickly looking. He said he doesn't know how he's fucking Ivanka.
Howard said they're talking to Tom Brady tomorrow and Trump wanted him to marry his daughter. He said he doesn't know how Jared is handling that woman.
Howard asked if anyone who is working from home can ask for a week off at this point. He said he knows he's working harder than ever from home.
Howard said music artists aren't sure what to do either. He said they are releasing albums but they can't go on tour. He said some artists are delaying their releases. He said just release it. He said you have to be with the times.
Howard said he got a lot of feedback about the song he wrote for his wife. He said she gave him sex for that. He said she thought it was a really good song. He said his daughter sent him a text and said it was good too. Robin said they need to work on the lyrics. Howard said it had to be funny.
Howard talked to himself about things like his wife staying with him. Future Howard said that she did try to kick him out of the bedroom. Howard let him go a short time later. Howard said it was fascinating to talk to your future self.
Howard said it'll be 3 weeks that he's been in quarantine tomorrow. He said he's seen no one but his wife. Robin said she hasn't seen anyone. Howard said stop that. He said she has that Captain Dennis there. Robin said he doesn't come in. Howard said Robin did say she's not going to have her cleaning woman back in. He said she'll have to clean. Robin said yeah. She said she has done hard work before so she can do it.
Howard read some fan feedback about the show and how much they liked what they were doing yesterday.
Howard said Tom Brady will be on tomorrow and some of the sports radio guys are talking about it. He said Michael Kay is excited for it but there are others who are upset that he's going to be on. He has some clips to play from those other shows.
Howard played some clips of some sports radio guys talking about Tom going on the Stern Show and how surprised they are about that news.
Howard played another clip of some guys talking about the news that Tom will be on the show. They were talking about how they think Tom may let loose for the first time.
Howard said he finds this all so funny. He said they spend all week talking about what might happen in a game. He said they'll find out on Sunday. He said this is what they're doing with this interview. He said it's like watching commercials for the game. He said it's all hype. He said they are very knowledgeable but they'll find out at the game or whatever sporting event they're watching.
Howard said they make this sound like Tom Brady is a priest going to a brothel for the first time.
Howard said Tom isn't going to come on and say anything that crazy like Bill Belichick raped him or anything like that. He said it will be great to have him on to talk about things. He said he's the greatest of all time. He said his games are like a movie. He said it's the plot of every great movie. He said Tom Brady is that guy.
Howard said one guy was on a football talk show and he predicts that he's just going to talk about Tom's wife Gisele. Howard said the perception of him is funny. He said he didn't have that high on his list but now he thinks he has to ask about Gisele. He said he wasn't going to concentrate on her.
Howard said Joe Namath told him that Tom Brady is the greatest of all time when he was on. Howard played the clip of that other guy talking about how he's just going to ask about Gisele.
Howard said he's thinking that he may not do any preparation for this interview. He said he might just start talking to the dude like he's meeting him for the first time.
Howard said he gets why the sports radio guys get paid well. He said they get you hyped up for this stuff. He did his impression of those guys talking about this interview.
Howard had more clips to play. He played one where the hosts were talking about how Tom might be unleashed when he's on the Howard Stern Show. They were talking about how they might see a lot more of his personality.
Howard did more of his impression of the guys talking about the crazy stuff Tom could do on the show.
Howard said he's new to this game so he didn't know that Tom was muzzled all these years. He did more of the sports radio guy impression talking about crazy stuff that he could do on the show. He had them coming up with all kinds of crazy stuff with the Wack Packers.
Howard had another clip from a sports talk show where they were talking about how this will be the least appealing interview ever. One guy said no one expects Tom to be off brand. Another guy said that Tom has left home for the first time and he's no longer under control by Bill Belichick.
Howard asked why sports guys are so impatient. Robin asked why they're so angry. Howard did more of his impression of those guys discussing the interview.
Robin said she's not sure why they expect these things to happen. She said none of that happened with Hillary Clinton. Howard continued to do his impression of the sports guys talking about what could happen in the interview.
Howard said they're exited to talk to Tom tomorrow. He said he's glad that the sports guys are talking about it too. He said he enjoyed that. He said he's happy they're excited.
Howard said the fans are excited about Tom coming on the show. He said they're excited about the free SiriusXM app until May. He read through some of that feedback.
Howard said everyone loved Tracy Morgan yesterday. He said he retweeted some of his stuff yesterday. He said it was so much fun. Howard said he called Tracy after the show and thanked him again for doing it. He said he was just lovely. He read through some more feedback about that interview. Howard said one listener was worried about Tracy not taking Coronavirus seriously. He read that and spent a minute talking about that. Howard said he's going to call guests from now on instead of writing notes. He said John Mayer upset him with that thing on Andy Cohen's show.
Howard said a lot of people were angry with Ralph calling in yesterday to talk about what to do during quarantine. He read through some of that feedback.
The caller said that he's not a guitarist and it lent some authenticity to the song. Howard said maybe when he goes on tour he'll do it better.
The caller said Howard rules. He said he used to work in New York and everyone in the union has him on. He said even in Rhode Island the teamsters there have him on. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
Howard said he might send his song over to Mark Ronson to fix up. He said there's no shame in getting a little help.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said he just wanted to thank him for doing what they're doing and trying to make them feel better. He said he's trying to stay isolated as much as he can. Howard asked if it's true he's using his toupee as a mask. Bobo went along with the joke and said yes.
Bobo asked if it's true that you can walk around and get this virus. Howard said he'll ask Dr. Agus when he's on later in the show. He said this is a brilliant guy and he'll get the story. Robin said she has a picture in her head of Bobo speed walking in his neighborhood. She said he just said he speed walks. She was cracking up thinking about it. Howard said he's going to take a break and get to Rosie.
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Howard came back and said he was so smart last night. He said he didn't have any water with dinner. He said he slept through the night without having to get up to pee all night. He said he didn't have to get up at all.
Howard said he loves Rosie O'Donnell. He said he hasn't spoken to her off the air lately. He said she's there in her mansion. He asked how she's holding up. He said they used to talk quite a bit off the air. He said he felt he was bugging her. Rosie said never. She asked if he was kidding her. She said that they haven't seen each other in about 2 years now. Howard said they used to get together regularly.
Howard asked about the woman he last met, Liz, and if they're still a couple. Rosie said they're still trying to figure stuff out. She said she's not going to get married again.
Howard asked how she's doing with the Coronavirus thing. Rosie said she won't leave the house. She said she won't go grocery shopping. She said her son's girlfriend came over and they go to the pool house to hang out. She said she's totally afraid. She said she fears dying in a hospital alone with no one else. She said that she would say she's a 10 out of 10 when it comes to worrying about it. Howard said he's the same way. He said he's not sure how he's going to go out but there's such weird information about this thing. He said they say there could be heart problems. He said that Rosie has a pre-existing thing with her heart condition. Rosie said that's what she's worried about. Rosie said she doesn't want to see the stores with no food on the shelves and things like that. She said it's too much for her.
Howard asked Rosie about her son's girlfriend coming over because she can still get this thing. He said she has to cut that out. He said it's just him and Beth at their house. Rosie said that they're kids and they're losing out on a lot of things. She said they're emotional creatures that are fully alive and this is the compromise that she made after the 14 days.
Howard said it's true that the kids want to go out and hang. He said that's their life. Rosie said the depression is happening for the teens too. She said she doesn't know when it's going to stop and she doesn't know what to tell the kids.
Howard asked what her prediction is on when this will stop. Rosie said she spoke to a well known doctor about it. She said by July 4th we would be out of the woods. She said she didn't believe that at all. She said she thinks they have until Christmas. Howard said he agrees.
Howard asked who the toughest kid to deal with is out of her 3 kids. He said she has a 7, 17 and 20 year old there. Rosie said the 17 year old is the toughest one. She said her 20 year old was working in the grocery store every night. She said he quit that and she was relieved.
Howard asked Rosie about her son who is in the military. Rosie said he wasn't feeling good and he had a fever. She said they had to go out into the woods with his cough, fever and chills. She said that they really don't value the men and women of the armed forces. Howard said the whole thing is upsetting.
Howard said this administration doesn't seem to understand the gravity of the whole thing. Rosie said he's incompetent. She said they knew about this in December and he didn't do anything for 70 days. She said he said it was a hoax. She said we need someone who isn't a compulsive liar in office.
Howard asked if she's watching Governor Cuomo every day. Rosie said she thinks he's fantastic and he's comforting to watch.
Howard asked about Dr. Fauci and what he's doing. Rosie said he's trying to do his thing but Trump is saying things that aren't true and he has to be careful what he says. She said it's terrifying.
Howard said it seems like it's not under control. He said he wishes there were a more commanding presence in this whole thing.
Rosie said it makes you realize what we need. Howard said it was just 3 years ago that Trump was attacking her on the national stage. He asked if that paranoia has calmed down for her. Rosie said he was very angry when she exposed who he was in 2007. She said she wrote a letter to Michael Cohen. Howard said he's now in jail. Rosie said she wrote to him saying she was thinking about him and how he was paying for what Trump did. She said she felt it was unfair. She said he wrote back saying he was sorry that he participated. She said they became pen pals and she went to visit him in prison. Howard said he must have been part of the attacking. Rosie said he was. She said that they got to talk and she asked thinks about trump being a drug addict and things like that and Michael said that he's never seen him do a drug. Robin said that makes it even more disturbing.
Howard asked about going to visit Michael and what that was like. Rosie said she was there for 6 and a half hours talking to him. She said it was very crowded and full of about 250 men in one room right next to each other. She said imagine how scared they are living in conditions like that.
Howard asked if Michael ever apologized to her. Rosie said he did. She said that Michael ran that show for 15 years. She said he was the fixer and the thug. She said it was all on him.
Howard said that everything Trump ever touches fails. He said all of his businesses failed. He said he told his wife this early on that he thought things weren't going to go well. He said he thought they'd end up in a depression and bankrupt. He said now it's happening. He said it's the lack of organization and running something big. Rosie said everything he's tried to do has failed.
Howard asked if Cohen told her anything mind blowing that she didn't know. Rosie told Howard about what it was like visiting him there and how one guy said he had met her before at a Liza Minelli party years ago.
Rosie said that Michael had just lost a family member and his blood pressure shot up so he was seeing the medic there. She said she didn't know that he had a business before this whole thing. Howard asked if he will ever write a book. Rosie said he's writing one now. She said he should have some interesting things about the Trump family in the book. She said that she's not sure how they're going to live or survive being in that family.
Howard asked if Rosie will ever go back to The View. Rosie said that Whoopi really didn't like her. Howard asked her to explain that. They talked about a book that came out about the show and how Rosie had a private conversation with that guy and he took it and used it as an interview. She said that he used it to sell his book. She said that guy was writing a book about The View and the guy turned out to be a trouble maker. She said they thought he would be fair and reasonable but they were wrong.
Rosie said when she was on The View she thought she was part of an ensemble. She said that Whoopi was upset with her from day one. She said she threw to commercial thinking that Whoopi didn't see the guy counting her down so she got upset with her. She said they were friends for a long time but then they did that show and things didn't work out.
Howard said it was like having two alphas and they needed one leader there. Rosie said she ran into Whoopi out at a club. She said that she was meeting Ally Sheedy there and she was going to see Megan Mulally's husband's band. She said she got there and Whoopi was there. She said she said hi to her and she was so nice. She said that the host tried to get them a table together but she said no. She said Whoopi asked if it would be that bad. Rosie said she was meeting someone there so she didn't want to do that.
Rosie said that Whoopi was mean to her on the air and it did a number on her whole thing. She said it was trippy to her. She said she had to leave and she knew she had to leave. She said she wasn't going to fight with her.
Howard said Rosie said she had a crush on Elisabeth Hasselbeck and she freaked out when she heard that. Rosie said she was on a softball team and she was the captain of the team. She said Elisabeth has been around a lot of lesbians so she's not sure why she had the reaction that she did. She said they didn't have that many fights before that on the show. She said she was trying to help her and Sheppard her. She said there were no sexual underpinnings there. Howard said her reaction was very homophobic in his opinion. Rosie said she agrees.
Howard said he thought it was a sweet thing when she said what she said. Rosie said they liked each other. She said not in a sexual manner but in a friendly way. She said that they were friendly until that fight. Howard said he couldn't stand her politics but he did find her hot. Rosie said she was very pretty. She said she was impressed with her being the captain of the softball team. Howard said his wife was the captain of her basketball team. Rosie said she's very attractive too.
Howard said he was thinking about Rosie when he saw that she might join The Talk. He said he gets that. He said rather than start up her own talk show again she could do a show that's already going. Rosie said she went in to talk to them about doing the show and they said they don't do anything political there. She said it wouldn't have been a good fit for her. Howard said she's right.
Howard asked if Rosie is in touch with Madonna. Rosie said she is and she's out on Long Island. Howard asked where Rosie is. Rosie said she's out in New Jersey. She said they moved to this town for her son to go to school. She said they've been trying to sell the house but they didn't so they're lucky to still have it. Howard asked if she has sold everything else off. Rosie said she has a big apartment in Manhattan and this house. She said she sold her Miami house too. She said she'd like to get something else down there if this world ever comes back. She said that she's not sure if it ever will. She said things are very overwhelming right now.
Howard asked if she feels good about Biden running for office. Rosie said she thinks he's too old but she's going to put all of her effort behind getting him elected. She said all of these guys are too old. She said Trump is too old and Bernie is too old.
Howard asked who she was supporting. Rosie said she was behind Warren. Rosie said some guys were complaining about the way she was talking. Howard said she did kind of come off like a mother.
Howard said he's afraid of a depression coming and having civil unrest. Rosie said she's afraid too. She said she does have people who comfort her. Howard asked if Madonna is comforting. Rosie said she is. She said Madonna is freaked out by this whole thing too.
Howard asked if Rosie talks to someone like Tom Hanks when he's out there sick. Rosie said she's friends with his wife, Rita Wilson, so she talked to her. She said she's doing well. Rosie talked about the rap thing Rita did on social media. Rosie said that this whole thing is very scary. Howard asked if they are cured and fine now. Rosie said they are fine and they have the antibodies now that they can use to figure out a vaccine. She said once you have that they say you can't get it again. She said they don't know that for sure. Robin agreed that they don't know.
Howard asked if Rosie is friends with Oprah. Rosie said that she does reach out to her when things happen. Howard asked if she doesn't talk to her because she stopped her show on her network. Rosie said not at all. She said she was very generous. She said Meg Ryan is on Zoom chat with her. She said Helen Hunt is too. Howard asked what she's been up to. Robin said she's in a new movie. Rosie said that's out already on some network she's never heard of.
Howard asked who else she talks to. Rosie said Jason Alexander and Sean Hayes and his significant other. She said she'll get on with them every other night. She said then the negative thoughts start. Howard asked if she's talking to a psychiatrist during this time. Rosie said absolutely. She said she talks to her shrink at least 2 times a week. She said the depression is a serious beast that you have to treat gingerly. She said it doesn't go away. Howard asked what depression is like. Rosie said you can't eat or get out of bed and you feel there is no way out. She said that everything is out of whack. She said that it's one of the worst things she's ever been through. She said she had her first one after Columbine and then after 9/11 and Katrina. She said she kept throwing millions of dollars at 9/11 and thought that would make things better. She said she's been medicated since 1999 and she will probably be on them the rest of her life. She said her shrink will check in with her to ask if she wants to work on her medication. Howard said thank god for the medication.
Howard said he wants to know more about this Zoom thing. He asked about how they check in with each other. He asked if she starts out with someone like Meg Ryan and then they get someone else on. Rosie said they start around 10 at night so it's 7 out in L.A. Howard said that's too late for him. Rosie said they get people on and find out how they're all doing.
Howard asked if they ever get someone on there who thinks Trump is doing a good job. Rosie said no one in those Zoom chats thinks Trump is doing a good job. She said she started one Zoom chat for her fans the other day and someone broke in and started playing porn. Howard said if people can break in then don't meet with your shrink like that. Rosie said she meets with her shrink over Facetime. Howard said it's great that they have this technology. Rosie said it's going to change TV and how everything is done. Howard said it's weird.
Howard said Rosie said she was going to bring back her old talk show and she raised $600,000 for a charity. Rosie explained how that all came about. She said she was told she could do the show from her garage and she was all in. She said some people donated on the air and some did it privately. She said they raised that money for the TV and movie business. She said there's a lot of people giving to the fund.
Howard asked Rosie why it's so terrible to wear a bra. He said she said she didn't have to wear one for her show. Rosie said it's so uncomfortable. She said it would be like wearing a ball harness where they lift them to a position where it's uncomfortable. Howard said he would think that the gravity would hurt her titties. Rosie said they are free at last, free at last, thank god almighty, they're free at last. Howard said he would think the bra would be more comfortable. Robin said Howard doesn't understand. She said they are stretched around you and very uncomfortable. Robin said she wears one because she's been conditioned by society to do so.
Rosie said her boobs are cross eyed. She said they're like kissing cousins. She said they go inward. She said the nipples point at each other. She said they're closer together than they should be.
Howard asked if she gets self conscious about her nipples when she's with a new woman. Rosie said when you're on your back it's fine. She said if she's on set she has to make sure they're not pointing inward. Howard said he didn't know that. Rosie said she's sure a lot of his listeners have that issue.
Howard asked where her girlfriend is. Rosie said she's up in Massachusetts and she can't leave the state at this point. She said that there is so much going on that they have her in a patrol car instead of on horseback. She said she hasn't seen her in a long time now. Howard said he is so scared for police officers. Rosie said she knows. Howard asked if she ever told her to just give up that job and move in with her. Rosie said she loves being a cop and serving people. She said she was in the Army right after High School and she has a strong identity with what she does for a living.
Howard asked if they do Zoom sex or anything. Rosie said she's 58 years old and it's so much work. She said she's already been through Menopause. She said they just cuddle. Howard said the younger woman must want sex. Rosie said that she does things for her. She said she would rather do anything other than have sex.
Howard asked if she would start her show up again if she could do it online. Rosie said sure. She said she's not sure what this world will be like after all of this but she would love to do that. She said she'd do it every Sunday night if she had a sponsor.
Robin asked if she ever did the podcasting thing. Rosie said she didn't but she had a deal to do one that never went through.
Howard said he hopes Rosie stays safe and keeps up with the Zoom chats. Rosie told him to take care of him and Beth and don't get too worried. Robin said kids are going to have to have some kind of glass between them. Howard said it'll be like in Midnight Express when you rub up against the glass.
Rosie said she hopes they can have dinner sometime after all of this is over. Howard said he hopes so. Rosie said she was never bothered by his calls. Robin asked why she never called Howard. Rosie said she did text Beth a couple of times when she missed Howard. Howard asked what she's going to do today. Rosie said she has to home school her 7 year old. She said she'll be doing therapy at 10:30 too.
Howard asked if she's doing any art during this time. Rosie said she is. Howard said she got him started in all of that. Howard asked if she has been eating Pop Tarts during this. Rosie said she has. She said she loaded up on them at the started of this whole thing and she has plenty. Howard said she has to eat something healthier than that. Rosie said that's what her kids tell her too. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard said he doesn't get the Zoom party thing. He said when he gets off the air he doesn't want to do more talking. Robin said she's quiet too. She said they go through stuff and she wants to be with them. Howard said he doesn't have that kind of friend that he wants to do that with. Robin said she calls Howard to see how he is. She said he doesn't answer but she calls. Howard said they should take a break and come back and talk to Dr. Agus about Coronavirus.
Robin went through some famous people who have Coronavirus and mentioned that Ali Wentworth has Coronavirus. Howard said they check in with her every day. He said her husband is fine but she's having a tough time with it.
Robin said Manu Dibango has Coronavirus. Howard played some of his song ''Soul Makossa'' and then read that he actually died on March 24th. Howard said they call this Coronavirus the Boomer Remover. Robin read about some other famous people who have had it. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back after the break and said a fan wrote him a note asking if he knew the world was going to end tomorrow in 24 hours would he try crack or Meth. Howard said he would not. He said he doesn't want to go out like that. He said maybe he'd die and the world wouldn't go away. He said he's suspicious.
Howard said he'd just eat a big bowl of pasta until he exploded. He said he just wants something good to eat and not worry about getting fat. He said he'd just eat and fart a lot.
Howard said someone asked if he would hug someone with Coronavirus on their death bed. Howard said he's not sure. He said they have talked about what they would do if one of them was hospitalized. He said they won't be able to visit each other.
Howard said there's so much Coronavirus craziness. He said he asked Gary to book Dr. Agus again. He asked if he's ready. Gary said he is.
Howard asked if Gary is clearing his throat more than ever. Gary said it is a nervous tick and he's more nervous than ever so he is.
Howard said Dr. Agus helped Robin with her cancer. He asked where he went to school. Dr. Agus said he self schooled. He said he actually went to Princeton and Pennsylvania school of Medicine. He said he did training at Johns Hopkins and some others.
Howard asked how he's in the know so much. Dr. Agus said he's really not. Howard said he really is on top of things. He said he knows things that other doctors don't know. Dr. Agus said he gets to read and write about things so he is on top of them. He said he gets to treat patients like Howard.
Howard said this guy is so smart. He said he went for a checkup and his doctor told him his testosterone levels were very high. He said he told him they were extraordinarily high. He said they might have to send him to a specialist and put him on medication. He said he called Dr. Agus and told him the story and he asked what time of morning it was. He said it was early and Dr. Agus told him that a certain type of Jewish person, Ashkenazi Jews, has those levels early in the morning. He said he told his doctor that and his doctor had no idea. He said Dr. Agus sent him the research that he had and he sent it to his doctor and that doctor apologized to him.
Howard asked Dr. Agus what's going to happen with this Coronavirus thing. Dr. Agus said we will start to see plateaus this week. He said that's a good thing but it's going to increase over the next few weeks around the country. He said things will plateau. Howard said he sees that people get this thing and then they get better but they get hit again with a double whammy. Dr. Agus had some stats about how some will get symptoms and some won't have any. He said it's possible that some had it already and didn't know it. He said they will have a test soon to find out who did have it. He said that's the key to finding out what's going on in this country.
Howard said they say that it can have an affect on your heart too. Dr. Agus said there is a lot of stress on the heart too. He said in China 21 percent died of heart issues. He said it's just a lot of stress on the body.
Howard asked if he's sticking by the 80 percent of people not having to go to the hospital. Dr. Agus said it's 98 percent. He said the other 2 percent will have issues that send them to the hospital. He said he's seen some 40 year olds and 20 year olds go on a ventilator so it doesn't make sense.
Howard asked if there are people working on a cure. Dr. Agus said there are companies working on vaccines. He said it may take 12-18 months to work on that. He said there will be treatments that they are working on too. He said they are probably benefiting. He said that Trump mentioned this drug that they're testing. He said there are some people who can go out and go in public and won't spread it after they've had it. He said that they can go out and not get it again too.
Howard asked if we are transmitting to animals and are animals transmitting to us. Dr. Agus said they show that cats can catch it from us. He said they get lethargic and that's about all they know. He said they can spread it to us too.
Howard asked when the tests will be available. Dr. Agus said that it will come out quickly once it's ready. He said we'll start to have it here very soon over the next couple of weeks. He said you have to have a blood draw though. He said they're hoping to do a finger prick kit available for home use. Dr. Agus said that's going to change everything. He said you'll know if you're safe.
Howard said he and Beth heard that if you're walking around outside that you can get this thing. He asked if it has mutated into something stronger. Dr. Agus said no. He said it's spread by droplets. He said if you breathe you are spreading droplets. He said if you wear a bandana it will block the droplets. He said the droplets will hit the ground so that's why you should wear a mask outside. Dr. Agus said we have to work together to stop this so everyone has to wear a mask when they go out.
Howard asked if he they can really start to go back to work in May. Robin said not Howard. Howard said he is scared shitless of this. He said he doesn't want to be on a ventilator.
Howard asked why Dr. Agus' lamp keeps turning off. Dr. Agus said he has no idea what's going on with it.
Dr. Agus said in May they may start letting people go out and do things. He said if you're elderly you may want to stay in. He said wear a mask and you can start to get rid of this thing by June or July. Howard said he was under the impression that you can get this again even if you have the antibodies. Dr. Agus said that some people who got better were finding virus on them. He said that just means they were able to find traces of the virus. He said he thinks that's what Howard is referring to. He said we will have an immunity but they're not sure how long. He said it should last a year or two. They will have a vaccine by then so you should be fine.
Howard asked if he's considered elderly. Dr. Agus said he would say that 70 is considered elderly. Howard sounded relieved.
Robin said Boris Johnson has not been able to get over this and he's in intensive care. Dr. Agus said there is about a 2 week battle that you have to go through and it has gotten worse and worse for him. He said when you end up in an ICU then it is critical. He said only about 60 percent of people who go on a ventilator die. He said 50 percent of people will have zero symptoms. He said that's the confusing thing about this virus.
Howard said Chris Cuomo thinks he can beat this thing by staying active. Dr. Agus said that is true and just being active will help.
Howard said he's finding it hard to find Clorox wipes. He asked what they can use. Dr. Agus said it only lasts a day or two on surfaces so they should be fine. He said you should wipe down with soap and water if you don't have wipes like Howard was talking about.
Howard asked what the best way is to handle packages or mail. Dr. Agus said you can be compulsive like Howard is. He said put on gloves and throw away everything and then throw away the gloves. He said either that or put it on a table and wash your hands and clean the area where the mail was with soap and water.
Howard said he had a friend who told him to get masks that were made in China. He said he didn't want them from China. He asked if he's insane. Dr. Agus said that N95 masks should be saved for the health care professionals. He said they're risking their lives for all of us. He said don't worry about using things that come from China. He said there is nothing wrong with them.
Robin asked about the air in the air bubbles from China. Dr. Agus said don't worry about that. He said it's not a health risk. Howard asked if that's a dumb rumor. Dr. Agus said he hears a lot of rumors including the new 5G causing the virus. Howard asked how they make that jump. Dr. Agus said there is no logic to this. He said it's not causing a problem.
Howard said the craziest thing he heard was to take a blow drier up your nose to kill the Coronavirus. He said he's not making that up. Dr. Agus said that's insane. He said don't do it.
Howard asked if it's dangerous to play Chinese Checkers. Dr. Agus said not at all. He said we have changed our lives and he's proud of the way we're doing things in this country and we will win. He said we will come out stronger after this and we will be a better country because of it.
Dr. Agus said we do have to stop gathering in big groups. He said that's one thing that we have to stop. He said if you see something like that going on you have to call someone about it or say something.
Howard said there were people working on a house in the neighborhood and the cops can't do anything about it. Howard said he wishes they could do something. Dr. Agus said that he wishes masks were mandatory when you went outside.
Howard said he saw someone had a garage sale the other day. Dr. Agus said this is why this will continue in this country.
Howard said South Korea acted quickly with this thing and they have it under control. He said we have the most in the world at this point. Dr. Agus said we have states rights in this country so the states have the right to do their own thing. He said it doesn't work well when it comes to something like this.
Howard said he thinks they need a federal mandate. He said there is a lot of confusion in this country. Dr. Agus said he tries to push them in a certain direction when he works with these administrations. He said he has to push for it to happen. Howard said he thinks he should be in charge and Trump should let him be in charge. Dr. Agus said he and other doctors are trying to give them data and push them in certain directions.
Robin asked if he has spoken to Jared Kushner at all. Dr. Agus said he has not. Howard said he doesn't think he went to medial school but whatever.
Howard said he was walking the other day and some guy was out jogging. He said he ran by him about 2 feet away. He said he was pissed off. He said he knows he can't see him so he should have moved 6-8 feet away. Dr. Agus said technically yes. He said that we're only as good as those people. He said we all have to work together.
Howard asked if it's still safe to take Ibuprofin. Dr. Agus said the World Health Organization backed off of that so there is no data saying it's bad to take it.
Dr. Agus asked if Howard is staying healthy and working out. Howard said he's trying to eat well and exercise. He said he washes his fruit with baking soda. Dr. Agus laughed and said he sent him a recipe for that. He said that's not a bad idea.
Dr. Agus asked if they're eating healthfully. Howard and Robin both are. Howard said he finally got Robin to stop having her cleaning woman in. Robin said she was staying 12 feet away and she was cleaning with bleach. Robin said she was also wearing a mask. Dr. Agus said they did a test and found you can make a droplet go 37 feet. He said you'd have to try hard but it can happen.
Howard asked if Dr. Agus has anyone come to his house. Dr. Agus said he still pays the woman but she has not been to their house for weeks. Robin said she's going to learn how to use her washing machine and her vacuum over the next few weeks.
Howard asked Dr. Agus if Rosie O'Donnell is right about bras not being necessary. Dr. Agus said that Howard Hughes invented the under wire bra. He said as long as it doesn't hurt your back that's fine to not wear a bra.
Howard asked if Dr. Agus has any questions for Tom Brady who will be on tomorrow. Dr. Agus said he wants to know what will happen next year. He asked if he's excited about it.
Howard thanked Dr. Agus for calling in and calming people down. He said he appreciates that. Howard said he thinks that things may loosen up around May. Dr. Agus said it's going to be a tough week. He said we have to keep it straight and we'll see a decline eventually. He said then the restrictions will loosen up and we'll come back as a country. He said he has faith in science and medicine and they will have a vaccine eventually. He said he's an optimist. Howard let him go a short time later.
Robin asked if Howard feels better now. Howard said he does. He said he respects scientists and he doesn't think we live longer because of prayer. Robin said no one prayed and a computer popped out. Howard said that's right. Howard said he prayed that a Playboy model would pop out and fuck him. He said that never happened.
Howard said he has Dr. Ben Carson on the phone. He took that call from Fake Ben who told everyone to panic because we're all going to die. Howard spent a few minutes with Fake Ben who said he has Coronavirus himself. He said he's skipping over Purell and using gasoline.
Howard said this caller has a question. He said Dr. Agus isn't there now but he'll answer. The caller asked if it's safe to leave your windows open in your home or car. Robin said no one is coming up to your home window to cough. Robin said if someone is coughing in front of you there is a disbursement of air around your car and their car. It will probably miss you. Howard said don't drive around with your window open. He said he'd keep it closed unless he's on the highway. Then he said he wouldn't even do that. The caller asked about riding a motorcycle. Howard said you don't need to be on a motorcycle at this point. He said just stick to your car for now.
Howard said don't drive your car, don't drive your motorcycle and just lock yourself in your bathroom. Robin said they're saying limit your grocery store visits to every 2 weeks.
Howard said they talked about a lot today. He said it was a pretty full show. He thanked Gardein for sponsoring the show. He ate a meatless meatball after that. He said he thinks they got to everything he wanted to. He said he had a lot more but he's going to end the show. He wrapped up and ended it around 10:00am.
Howard started the show talking about how his opening song bums him out now. They made it about Coronavirus and how scary the world is so it's bumming him out.
Howard said he's excited to talk to Tom Brady today. He said his sports buddies are asking him to ask about what happened with New England and all of that. He said he'd go to Tampa just for the weather. He said just the weather in Tampa in the winter would get him to move.
Howard said Tom is a good guy to talk to during this Coronavirus thing. He said he succeeded on preparation and hard work. He said it took him years and years to get good in radio. He said Tom had a similar trajectory. He said he was sitting on his bed not sure if he was going to be able to play football. Robin asked how he was in college. Howard said not great. He said he was like a 4th string guy and he worked his way up. He said it was like Michael Jordan who had to do the same thing.
Howard said he was not good on radio when he started. He said his friends told him he was. He said they were just saying that though.
Howard said he's looking forward to talking to Tom today. Gary said Tom had a very good year in college. He said he was 22 and 5 in his last 2 seasons. Howard said it took him a while to get there. Gary said he did have a great career in Michigan. Howard said no one was looking for him in the NFL draft though.
Howard said Gary's father in law died from Coronavirus. He said condolences to Gary and Mary. Howard said Gary is willing to talk about that. He said unfortunately when someone like that gets sick they die alone. Gary said he was in a rehab unit and he went into the hospital to get his pacemaker battery installed and he may have gotten it there. He said they had no way of getting in touch with him. He said they hadn't seen him since March 15th. He said they tried to call to get in touch and it was complete bedlam so it was very hard to find out what was going on. He said he was in the hospital 19 days and he never saw a family member. He said his wife cried every night.
Howard asked what happens to the body. He said there's no way to handle that. Gary said you can't do a viewing and there is no mass. He said churches can't do anything. He said his body is at the hospital and the day of the funeral they can only drive by. He said they have to sit in their cars. He said the body will be in a special body bag for Coronavirus victims.
Gary said the priest at the hospital gave last rites to a bunch of people at the hospital. Howard asked where the body is. Gary said it's still in the hospital. Howard asked if it's freaking Mary out. Gary said everything about this is about how he was alone in every aspect of his life and that's very hard to deal with.
Howard said he knows if his parents are in the hospital he can't be there. He said the thought of them being alone is really sad. Howard said it's mind boggling that they're in this situation.
Howard said he has a friend who has Coronavirus and this is the worst thing ever. He said he says the psychological aspect of the whole thing is the worst part. Howard said when you have the flu you get through it but with this you get so psyched out. He said the guy doesn't know if he should go to the hospital or not. He said he's a police officer and he got tested. He said he's wondering now if he will have permanent lung damage and all of this. He said he's doing much better on day 12.
Robin said she had a friend who got sick very fast and he went to sleep and never woke up. Robin said they weren't able to get him on the phone and he died. Howard asked how old he was. Robin said maybe mid-50s. She said he just never woke up.
Howard said he's sorry about Gary's father in law. Gary said it was just awful and nothing is working the way it should. Robin asked if they'll put him in a coffin. Gary said he will be and he'll have a mass in a year or whenever they can get back to doing that stuff.
Robin said they're talking about giving individual cups for Easter communion. She wondered who is doing communion. Gary said people just don't get it. He said they think God is going to serve them. Howard said people are idiotic. He said it's the same people who go to church and get bitten by snakes. He said he doesn't mind that but with this Coronavirus they're affecting society. Robin said one woman said she is bathed in the blood of Jesus so she'll be fine. Howard said great, the rest of us won't be.
Gary said Glenn Beck was saying that he's willing to sacrifice some older people for his kid's future. Howard said these guys are all full of shit. He said if it was his mom or dad or sister he's be crying. He said that guy cries all the time. He said that was his shtick. He said this isn't a brave guy. He said he's a dumb ass disc jockey just like him. He said by the looks of the guy he's not even willing to sacrifice food.
Robin said they're going to have a new press secretary. Howard asked who sold their soul to the devil this time. Robin said it was something like Kayleigh McEnany.
Howard said he used to laugh at the Chinese when they'd run around in masks. He said now they're doing the same thing. He said everyone keeps saying we're going to make it through this but he's wondering if he's going to make it through. He said the human race will make it but not everyone will.
Howard said the Chinese government won't close the wet markets. He said they could close them down in a day. He said they stop everyone from doing everything over there but not that.
Howard said waiting this thing out is like Game of Thrones. He said someone on Game of Thrones died every week. He said this week maybe it'll be Boris Johnson. Robin said he's still in Intensive Care. She said they're not saying much more. Howard said people are dropping like flies. Robin said it's men more than women.
Robin asked how people are getting to porn when they're stuck at home. Howard said that's the tricky part. He said the staff all say that the free porn on PornHub is better because it's edited.
Howard said black men are having trouble out there lately because they can't put a mask on without being suspected of being in a robbery.
Howard said Bigfoot has checked in finally. He said he was missing but he ended up calling Jon Leiberman and Jon got some audio for them. Howard played the clip and Jon asked if he's sick with Coronavirus yet. Bigfoot said he does have a cough and fever but he's got not body aches.
Howard said Bigfoot isn't sticking to the quarantine. He said he's turned his home into a bar. He said listen to this. He played a clip of Jon asking Bigfoot about if he's going out. Bigfoot said he still goes out to the shop to get smokes and things. He has people coming into his home too. He lets people come in to smoke in his house. He said they're doing a little bit of everything. He has a loan sharking business. Howard said he must work for someone who is a loan shark. Howard said he seems to have turned his home into a bar.
Howard said Bigfoot claims he's social distancing but he's not. He played another clip where Jon asked about that. Bigfoot said he has a friend coming over to get him high the next day. He said he's not laying on top of people but he stays away from them. Jon asked how concerned he is about Coronavirus. Bigfoot said he doesn't care if he catches it or not.
Howard said Bigfoot says he's still renting rooms out of his apartment. He said Jon tried to get more details but Bigfoot had trouble hearing him. Howard played a clip and Jon asked about renting the room out. Bigfoot said he doesn't think it's a problem. He kept asking Jon to speak up. He said he can't hear him.
Howard said Bigfoot is still Bigfoot and he's doing just fine. Robin said he's still running his life like he was before. Howard said he never has money but he's doing just fine.
Howard said he got a lot of fan feedback about Rosie being on the show yesterday. He read through some of that.
Howard had some feedback about Dr. Agus. Fans were happy to hear him giving them some hope. People were asking for more from Dr. Agus.
Howard said people are looking forward to Tom Brady being on today. He read through some feedback about that. He had some feedback about the sports talk radio guys he was goofing on yesterday too.
Howard said some people were upset about John Mayer goofing on his thank you letter. He said that Michael Rapaport went off on John and he has a clip. He played the audio of Rapaport goofing on Mayer.
Howard said John Mayer was right. He said he appreciates Michael for sticking up for him but he could have checked his grammar. Robin said it was gracious of Howard to sit down and write that sincerely felt letter. She said he should have just appreciated the thought. Howard said he saw the clip of Andy and John and he felt really bad about it. Robin said that was public shaming and it wasn't right. Howard said he was embarrassed by it. Robin said it was public bullying. Howard said the guy got him.
Howard said Colleen was great at her job and everyone wanted her to do hair and makeup for their movies. He said she was a great teacher too. He said she was big in the union. He said she would have people come in and apprentice. He said she would take her time and teach them. She said she was an extraordinary woman. He said he became good friends with her on the set of the movie. He said she took about an hour to get him ready. He said she would fit him with the wigs they used in the movie. He said she would tell him about what was going on there on the set.
Howard said Colleen worked on a movie with Renee Zellweger and she loved Colleen so much that she insisted that Colleen had to be hired to do hair and makeup on the movie she was working on.
Howard said Colleen worked into her 80s and maybe even her 90s. He said she had a daughter who was a makeup artist too. He said this was her whole life and she loved being on set. He said she loved her job.
Howard said he spent many great times with her. He said they had exchanged Christmas cards and things. He said Toni Coburn had let him know that she passed. He said that Colleen hooked him up with Toni so he appreciates that.
Howard said he hadn't heard from Colleen in a long time but he was saddened by the news. He said when someone like Glenn Beck says he's ready to sacrifice some older people to ensure his kid's future that really upsets him. He said these are people. He said that guy should stay away from him.
Howard read some more about Colleen and the awards she won. Robin said she was such a great spirit. She said you could be so tired and she'd perk you up. Howard said rest in peace Colleen. He said he's not sure if it was Coronavirus but he will find out and report to Robin.
Robin said she loves that they say there's an authority who says this but they don't give the name.
Howard said Shaggy 2 Dope says eating dirt snow is the way to kill Coronavirus. He played a clip of him talking about that and demonstrating it on video.
Howard played a clip of a Polish artist named Ria something where she thanked Coronavirus for showing us to appreciate things. Howard said that's something. He said he hates hippies.
Howard said people are still yelling out Baba Booey. He said a reporter was out for WGN and a guy yelled Baba Booey while he was talking to someone about Coronavirus. He played a clip where the guy yelled out Baba Booey. Howard said people are still out there having fun with Baba Booey.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that bit they did yesterday with Howard from the future was great. Howard said later in the show they may have hung, handsome Howard on the show. He said he will be calling in later.
The caller said he's excited for Tom Brady and he asked if he can ask him if he thinks Ryan Seacrest is limber enough to do ballet. Howard said he thinks he will ask that. Howard said he thinks that he could do ballet. That came up recently when Howard played a clip of Ryan and Kelly Ripa talking about it.
Howard asked the guys if they are trying to fix his equipment. He got a message from Ben saying they are working on it. Howard said everyone loves Ben.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she's sorry for Gary's grandpa or whatever but they have canceled spring break and it's the worst thing ever. She said they can't stop all of this just for some old people. Howard said this has to be a joke. The caller Bree, said she's stuck at home with her mom and this is the worst. Howard said he's assuming she's trying to make him laugh. Bree said she's not finding it funny that she's stuck at home. She said she wants to get Coronavirus and die because it's ruining her plans. Howard said he thinks she's being funny. He said she is making a good point because he feels bad for young people who can't do the things they want to do. Bree said she thinks young people should be allowed to go out and old people should stay home.
Howard said Bree is from Florida so maybe she is for real. Robin asked if she'd be okay with getting Coronavirus and not getting treated. Bree asked what she's talking about. Howard hung up on her before Robin could answer.
Howard said a couple of months ago he asked Siri to set something up and she said ''Mmm Hmm'' and it was kind of fun at first but now it's just lame. He said it should say something else. Howard said he's tired of it now.
Robin said Alexa will ask you if it can do anything else for you. She said it gives suggestions.
Howard said he's going to take a break and urinate. He said people are asking him to do that. Robin said Richard's son keeps screaming in the background while all of this is going on. Howard said he has some staff updates he'll get to. He said he has updates on Benjy, Richard, Sal and Ronnie. He said he'll do that later in the show. He mentioned that Gardein is sponsoring the show today. He gave them a plug. The show cut out for a few seconds during that.
Howard said he has to set this phony phone call up. They had started to play it so Howard cut it off and explained that they had Flirty Gary call a woman from a Jewish dating site. Flirty Gary was giving her all kinds of cheesy pick up lines.
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After the break Howard came back and said the moment they've been waiting for is here. He said the greatest of all time, Tom Brady, is live from his house. Howard said he wants to just look at him for a second. He asked how he is. Tom said he's doing pretty good. He said he has a lot of things going on. He said he's trying to be smart and not fearful. He said he moved to Tampa with his family.
Howard asked what they're going to do with the league this year. He asked if they're going to play to empty stadiums. Tom said they still have to figure that out. He said he had to move his life from where he was for 20 years and move to Tampa. Howard said it must be weird to make that move. Tom said it is but he'll always go back to Massachusetts to visit.
Howard asked how great the weather is down there in Tampa. Tom said it's great down there. He said it's 85 degrees there. He said it's a nice time of year to be there. He said it's going to be a lot different down there and he'll have to get used to them.
Howard said he's renting Derek Jeter's place. He didn't answer because his video froze up. Howard said they've been waiting so long for this and now they have him and the computer just froze. He came back a second later.
Howard got Tom back. He said he thought he had offended him. He said that's a good way to get out of an interview now.
Howard asked if he's going to stay at Derek Jeter's house for a while. Tom said he has been a friend so they talked and things worked out so he's going to stay there for a while. Howard said the fans must be driving him up a wall down there. He said he has high walls around his house so that must be good. Tom said he was pretty private in Chestnut Hill. He said you couldn't drive up to his house but down there they can pull right up. He said he feels like his house should be somewhere that he can relax. He said he wants to feel like he can let his guard down. He said a lot of boats pull up to his back yard down there.
Howard asked if he can call Derek and get him to fix things when they break. Tom said it's great and he's totally cool with it. Howard asked if he asks for a price break from Derek. Tom said neither of them negotiated it. He said it worked out good though.
Tom said he can do football training there so it's been a good place to come down to. He said it was furnished too so that's been nice. He said he didn't have to worry about that stuff.
Howard asked if Jeter collected a first and last month's security deposit. Tom said they handled things the right way. He said he thinks it went pretty simple.
Howard said Tom almost came on the show so many times. He said he always canceled. Howard asked if it was the Patriots that were stopping that. He said it's amazing to finally have him on. He asked what happened. Tom said he's loved the show for a long time. He said he lived in Boston for about 15 years and he had a 30-40 minute drive to work and he listened to Howard for years. He said he always loved Howard's work ethic and how seriously he takes his job. He said he always thought he wanted it to be really good if he went on his show.
Howard said Tom is the guy to have on now. He said he always worked so hard in his life. He said he wouldn't be surprised if they made a movie out of his life. He said Michael Jordan is the same way. He said that he was passed over in college. He said he was almost not drafted. He said he was thinking he might have to find another career. Tom's computer froze up again.
Howard said his computer freezes up and his face looks odd when it does. Tom was back on and apologized for that. Tom told Howard about being recruited in high school and how he didn't start playing until high school. Howard asked why that was. Tom said there wasn't a lot of football in the Bay area where he grew up. He said it was baseball and soccer. He froze up again but quickly came back.
Tom talked about how he got into football in high school and how he got recruited pretty late in the process. He talked about getting a scholarship to Michigan. He said he always believed he would play football. He said he got picked pretty late to play for the Patriots.
Tom was talking about Michael Jordan and comparing himself to him but he froze up again. Howard said they tried out the connection last night and it was working fine. Tom was still talking and not knowing that he froze up. Howard asked if they can call him on the phone instead. Tom said that's cool. Howard asked Gary what they need to do. Gary said they're going to get his number and get him on.
Howard let the guys get him on. Howard said this is Coronavirus reality. He said it's great to have people on in the studio and have a connection with them. He said they've been trying to get him on for years and now this is happening. He said he blames Derek Jeter.
Howard got Tom on the phone instead of Zoom. Howard said he may look down and out but he'll win the game. Howard asked if he thinks Jeter is trying to save on internet. Tom said he has to upgrade that down there.
Howard said he was trying to make a point about how the perseverance thing is big with Tom. He said Drew Henson was the big star but Tom went on to great success and Drew didn't. Tom said some guys don't develop until they're 26 and others are great at 18. He said everyone is going to grow at a different pace. He said you have to be willing to become what the team thinks you can become. He said he was ready and eager to prove himself. He said he had learned a lot in college and he was ready to go all in on the professional level. He said that was Belichick's first year too.
Howard said Bob Kraft told a funny story about how he walked up to him saying it was the best decision he has ever made. Tom said he didn't actually say that. He said he told him he'd never regret picking him and Bob said that it was a great decision. Tom said he had an internal thing going on that gave him that drive to do his best for the team.
Howard said Bill looked at Tom like the guy who was completely committed. He said he was his guy too because they started at the same time. Tom said that's a great point. He said he went to Michigan and the head coach got fired before he even got to school. He said the guy who recruited him left to go to Stamford. He said within 4 months of him committing the guys who wanted him there were gone. He said when you're not their guy there's a different dynamic. He said when he got to the Patriots he was their guy and they wanted him to succeed too. He said he was empowered to be the best he could be.
Howard asked if he ever thought he shouldn't have gone to Michigan. Tom said in his second year he was thinking that. He said they had another guy who was ''their guy'' and he didn't think he was ever going to get a chance there. He said he thought about leaving and going to Cal State. He said they asked him to stay and they told him to worry about things that he can control. He said he committed to being the best and worked with a psychologist who helped him out a lot. He said he was very vulnerable at the time and this guy helped him grow up from a kid to a man. He said he had to take more responsibility for his life.
Howard asked if he was a psychiatrist. Tom said he was a sports psychologist and he became a good friend of his.
Howard said you can't control everything. He asked if that's the advice that he gave him. Tom said it was something like that. He said you do the best with what you have and if you do the best you can they'll give you more. Howard asked if he's still close to that guy. Tom said he is.
Howard asked Tom if he is able to tune out the sports announcers who bad mouth him and say he's not the greatest. Tom said to him it's about reframing it in his mind.
Howard asked how much pressure was on him from his family when things weren't going well in college. He asked if the old man told him to have a backup plan. He said they must get to him. Tom said he thinks that his parents were an influence on his life and they want what's best for you. He said he had a lot of conversations with his dad. He said he was the youngest of 4 and the rest of the kids were girls. He said he was the only boy. He said his dad wanted the best for him. He said he wasn't going to enforce his thoughts or opinions. He said his dad cried when he went to Michigan. He said he probably knew that's what he had to do in his life.
Tom talked about what a great guy his dad was and how he didn't really push him like you'd think he would. He said his dad would play baseball with him and those were the moments they had together. He said he learned his work ethic from him too. He said his dad was a Marine and he went and started his own insurance business. He said he was out the door every morning going to work.
Tom said in his life many of the things he wanted to happen in his life would happen. He said he wanted to go play football and nothing was going to stop him. He said he knew he'd be a starting quarterback. He said he never really doubted himself. He said he never had a backup plan and that was very naive of him.
Howard said every musician who has been successful never had a backup plan. He said he never did either. He said you have to work your ass off when you don't.
Howard said he's thinking he was very popular in high school. He said he must have been the man if he almost got drafted in high school. Tom said no one in his school would have thought that he'd be successful. He said none of his pro teammates would even think he'd still be playing. He said he was in college in 1995 and Charles Witson was there. He said he won the Heisman 3 years later. He said he was in his class at Michigan and no one would have ever thought he'd have more accomplishment than Charles did. He said he was just an okay player and Charles was one of the greatest.
Howard asked if Tom was one of those guys who didn't mess with his body and didn't go out drinking and smoking. Tom said he wanted to fit in with the crowd and he was kind of friends with those guys. He said in the end what kept him from smoking a lot of weed and drinking was that he felt like he'd be letting his dad down in a way. He said his dad was going to be a priest coming out of high school. He said some of his uncles were alcoholics and his dad was always there for him so he would feel guilty if he woke up with a hangover. He said he never was the kind of guy to indulge like that. He said he did smoke weed on occasion but that became less and less as his time in high school went on.
Howard asked what made him turn down his baseball scholarship. Tom said he was more in love with football. He said when he became quarterback he wanted to play that more than baseball.
Howard said when you're on a team sport what do you do when someone isn't living up to their potential. Tom said that happens but that was out of his control. He said he never chose his teammates. He said they just come in and sit next to you. He said you have to try to work with them. He said he knows guys who came from wealthy backgrounds and some who came from nothing. He said you develop relationships with all of them and you have to figure out how to do that. He said he's 43 this year and he has to connect with 22 year olds. He said they have to find things to connect with. He said that's why he likes team sports because it's not just about him.
Howard asked if he ever felt jealousy on his back and if it fucked him up. Tom said he has never felt that from any teammate in 20 years. He said he gets so much from his teammates.
Howard asked if he ever goes to another player and complains that he didn't catch a throw right to his chest. Tom said you can't do that. He said he will talk to someone about something if he can do it in a different way. He said it's not about calling him out in front of the other teammates.
Howard asked if he will ever go to the coach and tell him to get that guy out of there. He said you don't want to see them lose their job but you have to do it for the team. Tom said he can express his opinion. He said he can say that he won't throw him the ball. He said he has to have someone out there he believes in. He said Belichick always believed in him and that's why they had such a great connection. He said he saw things the way he saw them so that's why things worked out so well. He said he never really had to go up to someone and tell them they're fucking up the team. He said they would know that from someone else before he got to them.
Howard asked Tom if there's a division in the team when a white guy is the leader. Tom said that's not part of the game. He said you just figure out how to get along and that's what sports teaches you. Howard asked if anyone ever brought it up and said he's got it good and said you don't know where he came from. He said there must be some resentments. Howard said he worked with people who didn't pull for him. He said he had a boss tell him that he was the one running the company and he can't believe they're writing stories about Stern. He said he had to leave that company.
Howard said it has to be annoying when there's a question about his history with Belichick. He said that they say he wouldn't have what he has if he didn't have Belichick. Howard said it wasn't him though. Tom said it's a shitty argument to say that. He said they can't do each other's jobs. He said having him made him be the best he could be and Bill would probably say the same thing about him.
Howard asked if he's not happy that he's not a Patriot for life. Tom said not at all. He said he wants to have opportunities to be able to do other things. Howard said he's kind of curious about what went down. He said he has accomplished everything that you can do in football. He said Joe Namath was on the show and called Tom the greatest of all time. He asked why he wouldn't stop right now and just say that's his legacy and not worry about getting injured or anything. He said it's mind blowing to him. He said he understands it but also questions it.
Tom said that's a lot of questions he just asked. Howard said he's not sure what the question actually was. Tom said he never cared about legacy. He said he never thought about that. He said that's not him and his personality. He said it was just time. He said he's not sure what to say other than that. He said he did what he could in 2 decades on the Patriots. He said they can't take that away from him.
Howard said there were rumors 2 years ago about Belichick wanting to get rid of him and he thinks that was his way of having his own legacy. Howard asked where his loyalty is. He asked if that affected his decision. Tom said that he and Tom have a relationship and he knows how he feels about him. He said he won't respond to every rumor. He said Belichick's job is to make that team the best it can be so he has a job to do.
Howard asked when his final decision was made to leave. Tom said it never really happened until it happened but he thinks he was thinking at the start of last season that he was done. He said their time was coming to an end. Tom said he and Belichick had a great conversation about bringing it to an end and things were fine.
Howard asked who he talked to about leaving. Tom said he went to Mr. Kraft and talked to him at his house. He said he just told him that he loves and appreciates him and he knows that they're not going to continue but thank you. He said he called coach Belichick that too. He said it was 9:30 at night so he wasn't able to drive to his house to let him know.
Howard asked if there were tears. Tom said he is very emotional so there were. He said he had a deep caring for the people he works with.
Howard said when he left America's Got Talent he wanted the show to go off the air. He asked what kind of season he wishes for New England. Tom said he wants them to do great but he wants his team to win the Super Bowl. Howard said he should unfriend Bob Kraft on Facebook. Tom laughed. Howard said he wants to beat New England again. He said imagine that they're in the Super Bowl together. Tom said he wants to beat anyone. He said he wants to beat whoever they play. Robin said that would be the best ticket if Tom was playing against New England.
Howard asked if there's going to be a season and if he would play with no fans in the stadium. Tom said he would. He said there are no great predictions for how this will turn out. Howard said this thing isn't going to be over any time soon. He said we're in this for the long haul. Robin asked if they can play in masks and shields.
Howard said he thinks football is a bullshit sport. He said he has said this for years. He said Tom going to Tampa is going to generate so much money for that team. He said it's a guaranteed 50 million for 2 years. He said they may not even play this year. He said that team is going to make such a killing with him. He said he should be making $100 million and sharing in the profits. He asked if that's the truth. Tom said he would love for it to be that way but there's a lot to that. Howard said if he were a singer he'd be making hundreds of millions of dollars. He said he'd be the Beatles. Tom said he's an employee and you're subject to different negotiations. He said they have a players union. He said it's very convoluted. He said he wants the players to be compensated and they do it in a collective way. He said that's what the union is there for.
Howard asked how hard it was for him to watch the Super Bowl this year with this Mahomes pulling a Tom Brady at the last minute. Tom said that guy is pretty spectacular. He said he's done a great job. He said he is a great young player. Tom said it's tough to watch but may the best team win.
Howard said Gary was talking about talking to Tom's agent and he was talking about how he and Tom were supposed to be in a Super Bowl ad together. Howard said this was years ago. He said he barely remembered the story but it was weird. He said the thought of being in the commercial was really appealing to him. Howard said it was for Intel computer chips. He said it was a product called 360 and they were going to show Tom at all angles and then show him at every angle and he'd look bad. Howard said he told his agent ''Fuck this!'' he said he didn't want to look bad. He didn't like being the brunt of the joke. Tom said he gets that.
Tom said he has a story about Howard. He said he met Howard at a Polo event in 2002 or so. He said he flew out there for this event and Rihanna was driving around in the middle of the yard. He said he was introduced to Howard and Howard kind of big timed him. He said he was a pretty big deal at the time. Howard said he doesn't remember ever meeting him. He said he remembers going to that event though. He said Jay Z came out and said he wanted to introduce everyone to ''My artist'' who turned out to be Rihanna.
Howard said he didn't want to go to that event but his wife made him go. He said he was miserable there. He said he was probably just plotting his exit from that party. Tom said he understands that.
Howard said that story turns him on because he needs some people to big time him. He said he's getting too big.
Howard asked how Gisele is doing during this quarantine. Tom said they have an assistant because they had to do this move. He said Gisele was in Costa Rica and she came up there and she's handling things fine. Howard asked if she cleans. Tom said she's very different than she's been portrayed. He said she's very spiritual and she does meditation and works on herself a lot. Howard asked what kind of meditation they do. Tom said she does different types than he does. He said he does active meditating and she's very high energy so she's helped by her meditation.
Howard asked what he bench presses in the gym. Tom said he doesn't do too many weights anymore. He said he's about 230 pounds and he does a lot of resistance bands and things like that. He said he's not in the weight room trying to injure himself anymore.
Howard asked about his diet and Tom spent a little time talking about eating healthy because he needs his body to work for him. He said that's what gave him his career.
Howard asked if he ever thought about how it's just time to retire. He said he's done so much. Tom said Kobe Bryant thought he'd have a long career and you're going to live forever. He said you don't know when your day is going to come. He said he could worry about that stuff or just live his life the way he wants to. He said he wants to do what he loves doing. He said you don't tell a musician to stop singing at 42. He said you don't stop a painter from painting at 42. He said he wants to keep playing.
Howard said he admires Tom. He said he could be fucking any woman he wants. He said he admires that he stopped his party and he is able to say no to himself a lot. He said even with his personal life and drinking and drugs he's able to say no. He said he has this great relationship with Gisele. He asked how he leaned to do all of that. Tom said he thinks for both of them they had great parents who gave them a great foundation. He talked about how great her parents were to Gisele and how great his parents were for him. He said they wanted the same thing for their family.
Tom said a few years ago Gisele wasn't happy with what he was doing around the house so he had to change things. He said she was taking care of the house and he was working. He said when he'd finish a season he'd go do other work things and wasn't doing things around the house. He said he had to learn to work with both things to make it sustainable.
Howard asked if he went to a therapist to figure that out. Tom said they did. He said she wrote him a letter and he still reads it. He said that's a good reminder for him. He said things are going to change and evolve over time. He said things change and you have to change with them. He said they may move on an opinion or a thought and you have to figure that stuff out.
Howard said he can imagine that when he's playing football he's really working on it and there is no room for a family in ways. He said you have to work on that or it will fall apart. Tom said he didn't want to have a family or kids until he was in his late 30s. He said he thought that he should wait until he's basically done playing to have a family. He said that wasn't in the plan though. He said he had his oldest son in 2007 and things change. He said he found a wife and a woman he saw himself with the rest of his life. He said she's been an amazing supporter. He said she's a loving wife who wants to take care of the family but she's also very hard working.
Howard asked how he met Gisele. Tom said he got introduced by a mutual friend. He said it was kind of a blind date but he knew what she looked like. He said that was in December of 2006. Howard said this friend hooked him up with Gisele. He said imagine that friend helping out with that. He said that's some friend. Tom said he thanks that friend to this day. He said he had just gotten out of a relationship and she had too. He said they met and hit it off. He said his friend told him what an amazing girl she was. He said he told her the same thing about him.
Howard asked where they went to meet. Tom said he called her and they met at a wine bar. He said he was sitting there and she walked in and she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Howard asked if they had a lot of people recognizing them there. Tom said this was in 2006 so camera phones weren't that big. He said it was in New York too so they treat celebrities different there.
Howard asked if it was love at first sight. Tom said yes and no. He said he's not sure it was love at first sight. He said they had to get to know each other too. He said they had a connection that they still have today. He said within a few months they thought it would be pretty serious. He said it was a magical part of their life.
Howard asked Tom if he prepared for the date and if he came up with a game plan. Tom said he didn't in that case. He said it was a very casual time. He said it was after a game so he just went down to meet her. He said he wasn't really so ready for a relationship. He said she just came in at the right time. He said his ex-girlfriend was pregnant with his oldest son at the time too. He said they were forced into this important thing at that time of his life. He said Gisele found out a lot about him when he was dealing with that situation.
Howard said that had to be tough having a new girlfriend and an ex who is pregnant. Tom said it was a tough time. He said it was very hard for his wife to think she fell in love with a guy and now he has an ex who is pregnant. He said they all made the best of the situation. He said his son Jack is great. He said his heart explodes when he thinks of him. He said he's the greatest kid.
Howard said he's had an amazing life. He said he has a billion questions for him. He said he was thinking about how good looking he is too. He asked if he has ever been asked to act. He said OJ was a horrible actor but he went into it. He said he was even offered Terminator and he turned it down. Howard asked if he has been offered anything. Tom said he has been in a few things but he's never been the star. He said Howard was great in Private Parts. He said that's a gift to be able to do something like that. He said it's not natural for him to do it so it's not a calling or anything.
Howard asked if Saturday Night Live was torture. Tom said he loved that. He said it's similar to football. He said you prepare early in the week and work through it and practice. He said he really loved doing that.
Howard said he heard a cool thing about how he wanted to go through the whole week even thought they were willing to work around his schedule. He said Tom wanted to do it from start to end. Tom said he would think differently about how he'd do it now. He said you have to be careful about how you say things.
Howard asked Tom to tell us when he thinks it'll be safe to go outside again and when this will be over with. He didn't let him answer and asked a question about Trump. Howard said he thinks that he had a friendship with Trump before like he did. Howard said it was weird because Donald asked him to speak at the republican convention. He said he was supporting Hillary at the time so it was awkward for him. He asked if he asked him to do that too. Tom said he did. He said he wasn't going to do anything political though. He said Trump asked him to judge a Miss USA competition back in 2002 or so. He said he never thought he'd be asked to do something like that. He said Trump would come to the games and cheer for them. He said he had a way of connecting with people. He said he still does. He said he thinks he was brought into a lot of those things because it was so polarizing. He said that it was a friendly thing and they made it political. Howard asked if Donald got pissed at him for not speaking at the convention. Tom said he wasn't going to get into all of that political stuff. He said there's no way to win.
Howard said Trump also wanted Tom to date his daughter Ivanka. Tom said that was a long time ago. Howard said he wanted a power dynasty. Tom said he never said that to him. Howard said he did on his show. He said he has tape. He said he'll send it to him. Tom said it all worked out for him. He said he married the woman of his dreams. Howard said he can see Tom with Ivanka instead of Jared Kushner.
Howard said he never went into athletics because he didn't want to be nude in the locker room. Tom said everyone's penis looks the same. Howard asked if Gronk didn't have the biggest penis. Tom said that guy is like a Greek god. He said he's got a great physique. Howard said he has a really small penis and he can't imagine people not making fun of him. Tom said he thinks that the bigger guys get made fun of more than the smaller guys. Howard said he always kept his underpants on when he was in the locker room in high school. Tom said things have changed these days. He said it was so normal back in their day. He said they still have reporters in the locker room and Gronk would throw his towel over his shoulder and strut through naked. He said he thought it was funny.
Howard said there's a camaraderie in sports that he's never experienced. He said he would love stuff like that. Tom said it is something that you can have fun with. He said you laugh about the same things and make fun of the same things. He said you never really have to grow up. He said there's no judgment there. He said it's just guys so you're not offending anyone. Howard said he admires anyone who can come out of football and not give into childish behavior. He said you can give into any impulse.
Howard said he knows Tom started a production company for documentaries and stuff. Tom said he did. He said they launched it about 2 months ago and they have a bunch of things in the works. He said they did a special for Facebook Watch and he really enjoyed that. He told Howard how that all came about.
Howard and Tom talked about injuries in football and how Tom worked to make sure he didn't injure himself. Howard said even when he ran he had to stop because he had aches and pains. Tom has his own company to help players learn how to not injure themselves.
Howard talked to Tom about the new coach in Tampa who is the opposite of Belichick. He said he's willing to let Tom do his thing more. He said it could be a disaster or the best thing. He asked what he thinks about this guy. Tom said he's learning a lot about where his priorities are. He said his name is Bruce Arians and he's looking forward to getting to know him. Howard said they must have had to suck his dick so hard to get him on the team. Howard asked how much convincing it took. Tom said it felt good to have people wanting him so much. He said it was a fun experience.
Howard asked Tom about how bummed the Raiders must have been to lose out on getting him. Tom said there were a few teams interested in him. He said he wants to respect their privacy. Howard said if he were the Raiders he'd say he was changing their name to the Brady Boys.
Robin asked if he was looking for the best situation for himself. Tom said he was. He said he wanted to be able to excel as a player. He said he wanted to bring his best out and he chose this one and time will tell what kind of decision that was. Howard said he had better win. He said if he doesn't win he's going to blow him off at the polo match again.
Howard said he wants to sum up. He went over Tom's production company and said he hopes he has something with a super hero in it so he'll go see it. He said he also has this other business that fascinates him. He said he will share how not to injure himself with other players. He said he'd keep that a secret and let everyone injure themselves so he's the last player standing. Tom said he has one body and one life and he wants to share what he's learned.
Howard and Tom spent some time talking about hydration and peeing in the middle of the night. Tom said hydration is a major problem in this country. Howard said just wait until you're old and you have to stop drinking so you don't get up in the middle of the night to pee.
Howard asked if Tom has a six pack. Tom said he doesn't. Howard said he gets that. He said he has a gunt and he's not fat at all. Tom said really tight muscles aren't functional. He said the six pack is tight and that is too tight. He said you have to be able to use your muscles.
Howard asked if he would let his son play football. Tom said sure. Howard said he's shocked. He said with all of the potential injuries just save your body. Tom said for those reasons he wouldn't want them to play as Tom Brady's son. He said as a team and discipline thing it's very good. He said you can learn a lot about respect and things like that.
Howard asked Tom about getting hit in the balls once while playing and it blew up one of his nuts. Tom said that one side was like an orange and the other was normal. He said he knew something was wrong there. He said one of his teammates drew pictures of him with the big ball. He said that shit really hurt.
Howard asked Tom to leave us with inspiration. He asked him to give him something about how to get through Coronavirus as a nation. Tom said he doesn't have a prediction but we can't control external things. He said you can only control what you're doing for yourself. He said you have to put into your body what can keep you strong. Tom said that one of the doctors on TV said we should act like we're sick already and feed yourself the right way. He said he agrees with that. He said that is something you can control when the things out there are out of control. Tom said get the right exercise and call loved ones.
Howard asked Tom who the best receiver is that he's ever thrown too. Tom said that's like asking who your favorite son is. He said he'll name a couple. He said he can't name just one. He said that's impossible.
Howard asked what Gisele is wearing today. He asked where she is. Robin asked what Tom is wearing. Tom said he's going to work out so he's got workout clothes on. He said Gisele is too.
Howard asked how many times a week they should be having sex. Tom said he would like to have it but guys are way more frequent than women. Howard said when he was in his 40s he had to have it a lot. He asked if Gisele is providing what he needs. Tom said absolutely.
Howard asked if they have nicknames for each other. Tom said they do and they call each other Loveey.
Howard asked Tom if he believes he's better than Joe Montana. Tom said no. Howard said he's lying now. Howard said he has to think that he's better if he has outdone him in his career. Tom said it's subjective. He said that's not how he thinks about himself.
Howard started to wrap up with Tom and thanked him for spending over 2 hours with them. Howard reviewed what they went over today. Tom said he loves Howard and said he's amazing. Howard said they learned that Gronk has an amazing penis too. Howard said even if there's no season this year he must get paid. Tom said he's not sure about that. He said he has to check on it.
Tom thanked Howard for entertaining him for so long. He said Howard does his work and it shows they have a great team working there. He said he appreciates that he's been part of his life.
Howard asked who his favorite Wack Packer is. Tom said he loves Beetlejuice. He said they're all great though. Howard said one day they'll meet in person. Tom said they did meet but he was dissed. Howard said he had to teach him a lesson. He said it's too bad they didn't do that commercial together too. He said that would have been great. Tom said there's still time to do it. Howard let Tom go a short time later.
Howard said that was something. He said you know people are going to complain about the interview. Gary said there are already like 5 articles written about the interview and it's not even over yet.
Howard said they learned a lot today. He went over some of the stuff they went over. Gary said he thinks the big news is that Tom had decided that he was going to leave New England before the season even started.
Howard's feed was starting to freeze up so Robin and Gary let him know. Howard said maybe he talked too much today. He froze up again. Howard asked if he's back. Robin said it's still happening. Howard asked if he's okay now. He said he was so frustrated with Tom's feed cutting out. Robin said that was frustrating. Howard said it was a good call to get Tom on the phone today.
Robin said she was happy to see Dr. Fauci talking about how hand shaking should never come back. Howard said he thinks the Japanese had it right with the bowing. He said it's so gross to touch someone's hand. He said no more hand shakes.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a great interview. Howard cut out again. He said the phones and everything are fucked. Gary said they say it's Howard's internet that's getting shaky. Howard said something goes on around there around this time. His feed cut out again. Howard said he's going to end it now if you can still hear him. He ended the show around 10:20am.