Howard was back from his summer hiatus this morning. He started the show talking about how he has the chills being back. He said he's shot out of a cannon. He's been bottled up all summer long and taken away from his true love of radio. He said he's back broadcasting.
Howard said he's going wild in his studio. Robin said he's like the king returning to his throne. Howard said he's jumping out the window. He had Fred play some sound effects for that.
Howard said he was sitting in bed this morning and he was up around 4:30 or so. He said he gets up around 5:30 usually. He said he was reading stuff and looking at anything but wanting to get out of bed to do the radio show. He said the summer break was not long enough for him. He said he was happy and content not doing a lot of things. He said people have said to him he has to plan out what he wants to do during the summer but he didn't. He said he painted and sat around the house with his wife. Robin said she's heard people say that about retirement. Howard said he wanted to finish a painting that he's almost done with. He said he has a couple more days with that. He said he was just happy being.
Howard said he has a friend who told him they know a hospice nurse and they said they heard that people wanted to do more of what they wanted to do before they died and that's what they would complain about. He said that's what he should be doing. He said he realized he hates doing this show.
Howard said he's not sure where to even begin this morning. He said it's good to know that everyone is there. He said that people are happy they're back live. He thanked everyone for that. Fred was playing some drops for him and they had the 'thank you'' guy playing. Howard said that's the special master. Just like the Trump special master. He said he tried to avoid the news while he was off but he can't. He said he will talk about his father who died over the summer but he won't get into that yet. He said he talked to his father once about stuff to make a video for his kids. He said he asked him about his ancestors coming to this country and he said it was about freedom. He said he feels the people in this country who support this nonsense about the election have never lived under a dictator. He said their freedoms have never been threatened. He said the have no idea what it would be like to live in another country. He said they think Trump will take care of them better. He said the should go live in Russia for a year to see what a monster that Putin is. He said this guy has destroyed lives of people in Ukraine. He said he's ruined it for so many people.
Howard said this is his father talking about freedom in America. He played a clip of his father talking about why his family moved here. He said it was all about freedom.
Howard said it's crazy to him that people are willing to walk away from freedom. He said they don't value what this country was all about. He said they want to undo everything for Trump. Robin said people don't realize what they have until it's gone. Howard said Joni Mitchell said that. He said she had it on one of her songs. Robin said she thought she just made that up.
Howard said he has an example of how dumb people are. He said when you have to deal with morons... we have a lot here. He said Beth had to deal with a woman who had a cat who was like 11 years old. He said she had to get rid of it because she had a family member moving who was allergic. Howard said Beth is willing to help. He said she had the woman send in the medical information for the cat but the cat hasn't been to the vet for years. He said she asked her to take her and get a medical work up. The woman said she didn't have the money for it. He said the woman asked for $200 from Beth because the cat is a pure breed. He said Beth just dropped the whole thing.
Howard said people are just dumb. He said there are a lot of dumb mother fuckers in this world. He said it's not liberals versus conservatives either. He said we live in a nation of Wack Packers. He said you get people like Alex Jones on the stand and he admits that he's just bullshitting. He said there are just so many dummies out there and it's very frustrating. Robin said he can go on and say he just had to say that on the stand to get past it.
Howard said he hears people saying that Joe Biden is too old. He said the man inherited a country that was in chaos. He said Trump wasn't going to be able to get the vaccine out. He said Biden came in and took that and got it under control. He said we got back with NATO and we got out of Afghanistan. He said that was draining us. He said it was over and done and he got us out. He said now he's out. He said then the Ukraine thing came about. He said we're giving them help. He said then there's all of this legislation going through for microchips and more. He said this guy can get things done. He said he's doing a good job. He said he had to fix a lot of things and he's done it. He said Biden isn't too old. He said he could go on and on about this. He said we need a stable nation. He said that's that. He said he hopes Biden runs again because he'll vote for him. He said who cares about being too old. He said everything isn't perfect but we have a government again. He said they can't do everything for you. He said that they're paying for college now and people whine about that. He said that we should have every citizen educated. He said what better way to spend money with the government.
Howard said his father was a bright guy. He said he wanted to get an education but he wasn't able to get a break. He said that Trump is up there in age and there's only a 3 year age difference between him and Biden. He said stop with the age thing.
Howard said he knows so many people disagree with him but stop it. He said just follow him and what he's saying. He said he came to the conclusion that he must be as intelligent as hell. He said he's not sure what anyone is talking about.
Howard said his father said to him that he was already dead. He said his last real conversation with him he loved him and his dad just said okay, bye. He said he said that he looks like someone on TV. He said he asked how tall he is. He said he didn't know who he was. He said he's not sure if he knew who Beth was. He said he kept saying she was his wife but his father may not have known.
Howard said his dad was like guys who ignore him when he says that's his wife. He said he has had guys come up to her while he's with her and they hit on her. He said they don't back off. He said he could mention their names and talk about it. He said he was somewhere and a famous couple came up to them and this guy was talking to Beth like he was her husband. He said that his girlfriend came over and pulled her away. He said that's happened to him a few times. He said there are so many morons out there who are contagions. He said they don't know how to function.
Howard said he and his wife haven't come out of hiding. He said they're the only 2. He said there are so many people who have come out. He said they're like the couple who is stuck in the jungle after a war and they don't know the war is over.
Howard said he figured his dad would die at home. He said then they had to bolt him down to the bed. He he had people helping his parents out and they had to keep an eye on them. He said his dad was banging his foot on the bed so they had to bring him to hospice at Mercy Hospital in Rockville Centre. He said thank god for that place.
Howard went off on Trumpers again when he was talking about the hospital thing. He said it's looney toons out there. He said he has so many funny things to talk about but these people picked Trump to lead them. He said he's not sure what it is about this guy. He said he doesn't get you.
Howard said he got his father into hospice and he wasn't eating anymore. He said it was like he was dead but he was alive. He said he was still breathing. He said there was a guy sitting in his room playing clarinet for him. He said he asked who he was and this guy said he was a musician who plays for patients on a volunteer basis. He said this guy took his time to do this for his father. He said his father was deaf so he may not have even heard it. He said he hated clarinet too but he didn't tell the guy that. Fred played some clarinet audio for him while Howard told the story.
Howard said he never got that guys name. He said he should have. He said he was sitting in the room alone with his father and people had advised him to talk to him even if he can't talk back. He said he figured he would do that and he sat there with him. He said he was told to hold his hand so he did that. He said that he never would have though to do that because he's so damaged. He said he was in the room alone and he got really uncomfortable. He said he did talk to him but that was not good for him. He said he rubbed his forehead and all of that. He said he wasn't sure what to say to him. He said he didn't want to tell him he was dying. He said he told him he wishes the had bonded. He said it's his last days and he's telling him all of this stuff. He said he wasn't able to communicate with him. He said he wanted the clarinet guy back.
Robin said all he ever wanted was to be able to speak freely. Howard said he wasn't able to do it. He said he wanted to have a free flowing moment with his dad. He said it was hard for him. He said he felt funny talking out loud in the room with him. He said he was just hard for him.
Howard said he told his father he wished he had known him better. He said that his dad died doing what he loved best... ignoring him. He said he did hold his hand. He said it took his dad a bunch of days to die. He said the first day he held his hand and it felt so foreign to him. He said he was uncomfortable. He said that he has fear of germs and he's afraid of people being contagious. He said that he held his hand wimpy the first day. He said he had more to say to him and he went back and wanted to hold his hand harder. He said he didn't wear a glove but he did wear a mask. He said he held his hand and rubbed his head. He said that he did give him a kiss goodbye. He said it was tough.
Howard said when he was a kid he needed a hero. He said that he wished that they were able to bond when he was young. He said it was weird going in there.
Howard said his family is very strange. He said that he went to his mother and he told her to visit dad. He said she didn't want to go. He said he told her she was going to regret it. He said she didn't want to go. He said then Beth has a friend who works in hospice. He said she told them that it's strange when people are dying they have their spouse come and hear their voice and it's like giving them permission to leave. He said he went and told his mother to come and visit his dad. He said he's in pain and he thinks he's waiting for her. He said he knows it's probably bullshit but that's what the hospital workers are saying. He said she didn't buy into it. He said his daughter Ashley went over and told her to go visit. He said Ashley knows how to talk to people. He said she's a nurse. He said that his mother went over to see his dad and a couple of hours later his father was dead. Robin said ''Wow!'' Howard said his mother felt good that she went.
Howard said they called to let him know that his father had died. He said the asked what he wanted to do. He said he had already been in contact with Gutterman's Funeral Home. He said they took care of everything. He said he didn't know they were going to do so much. He said he thought he'd go before his parents at this rate. He said his father didn't weigh much. He said he was under 140 pounds. He said he was 6'2'' so that's not a lot.
Howard said they had the funeral and people wrote him asking if they had one. He said he did. He said of course he had a funeral but they didn't invite a lot of people. He said they got him over and picked out the coffin. He said his daughter did the service. He said he had his kids, some nieces, his sister, a woman who took care of his dad for a long time and that was about it. He said some cousins too. He said they stood around the grave and he talked about his father for about 45 minutes. He said he went on and on. He said he kept it tight. He said it was a tight 45 minutes. Howard said he didn't go on too long with the stories. He said his dad would have told him to tighten it up.
Howard said Memet wrote to him thinking he wasn't going to have a funeral for him. Memet got on and said he's sorry about his dad. He said he didn't think that Howard would go to the funeral. He said he knew he'd have one. He said that he just figured with the whole COVID thing that he'd avoid it. Howard said they went to the funeral home and viewed the body. He said he wanted to do that. He said he has a hang up about death. He said he had to make sure he was dead.
Howard said he figured he was the only one who would want to do that. He said everyone wanted to go see him. He said he went to look him over. He said they did a beautiful job with him. Robin asked if he looked like his dad. Howard said not really. He said he was very thin at the end. He said it turns out he had cancer at the end. He said he had prostate cancer and it spread to his bones. He said that's what really did him in. Robin said he was healthy most of his life. Howard said he was.
Howard said they say you have to cum 27 times a month. He said he wondered how he was going to do it. He said he wanted to do that this summer. He said Beth will only do it like 3 times a week at most. He said he was going to get it done in the shower and probably cum 15-16 times a month. He said he can't get to 27. He said he knows his daughters are listening to this today so he wanted to say hi to them.
Howard said he came up with this routine in his head to give Beth a break. He said if she can do it one or two times a week then that's fine. He said that he would fuck her more but he's not sure she's up to it. Robin said she thinks the talked about it and 2 was okay with her. Howard said she may have said that for the air.
Howard said he came up with the plan and he started it for like 2 weeks. He said then he got into bed with Beth and he got a sharp pain in his lower right hand side. He said he wasn't able to fuck. He said that it was hurting so bad. He said he told Beth that he didn't think he could do it but he got through it. He said he's masculine as hell.
Howard said now he's taken a week and a half off. He said he beat off twice. He said he has to get back in the sack with Beth. He said he's a little nervous about it. Robin said this is what he should have talked to his dad about. Howard said he never talked about sex with his dad. He said his mother made him talk to him about sex around 16. He said he had already gotten laid. He said his father didn't tell him about anything. He just asked if he knew about sex.
Howard said now he's dealing with his mom. He said he's still thinking about his dad being in the box in the ground. He said he's all fucked up thinking about it. He said he was married to his mother for 75 years. He said his mom didn't come to the funeral. He said she's in pain all the time so she didn't want to come out. He said she says she's all fogged up and that might be long COVID or something. Robin said it might be the morphine. Howard said that could be it.
Howard said his dad had Nathan's hot dogs on his birthday. He said he only had half a hot dog and not the usual 3. He said he should have known he was dying then.
Howard said he should have had more time with his father. He said that's what he thinks about.
Howard said he has to deal with his father's money and go to the banks to prove that he's dead. He said he's so busy he shouldn't be doing this radio show. He said he'd like his mother to move in with him but she doesn't want that. He said she has people helping her out. He said that he'd like his mother to move in but that doesn't work for her. He said Beth is very open to it. He said that she'd love to have her there.
Howard said there's this weird thing going on with his mother. He said he does everything or her and she thanks Beth. He said that she calls her an angel. He said that he's thrilled that she loves her so much but even Beth gets embarrassed. He said she wonders what she did. He said that she seems to be more enamored with Beth than him. He said Beth even tells her that Howard does everything.
Howard said he has to drive like an hour and a half or two hours to get to see his mother. He said she tells him that she has to go to the bathroom and that's a whole thing. He said his mother asked when Howard was going to leave and he just said goodbye. He said she had enough after a half hour. He said he doesn't think she'd want to be around him too much. He said that's the weird thing about his family. He said they rush to get away from each other. He said that's what their version of love is.
Howard said they have cocktail napkins they give to visitors that say ''Please leave by 9pm.''
Howard said he told Leonardo DiCaprio how old Beth is and he threw up. Robin said he just got rid of another 25 year old. Howard said Beth's Instagram was very sexy this summer. He said she looked good. He said he's not sure who she's attracted to him. Howard said Beth is nervous. He said he has to cum 27 times a month.
Robin said she's not sure who did the 27 times a month thing. She said it's just a way for guys to demand sex from their wives. Howard said it's impossible to do that so many times a month. Howard said he's hard a lot and he doesn't need Viagra. He said it's hard to cum that many times a month.
Howard mentioned Chris Wilding isn't going out with a lot of guys because he's afraid of Monkeypox. He said that some guy lost his nose to Monkeypox over the break. He said that he heard that people who were vaccinated against Small Pox before 1972 are safe. He said he thinks that's what he heard.
Howard said he's trying to get to his 27 times a month cumming but he can't get there. He said that he's into watching lesbian porn. He said the girls who do lesbian porn are better looking. He said some of the guys in regular porn are kind of scary looking. He said it's like they fell off the spectrum.
Howard said when he had the funeral for his dad he played ''You'll Never Walk Alone.'' He said his phone kept cutting out. He played the clip of his dad singing that song when he was a kid. Ben had recorded it when they were in his recording studio. Howard said what a funeral. Robin said she loves that for so many reasons.
Howard said there are so many weird stories. He said when his mom went to visit his dad on his death bed he was unconscious but he opened his eyes and cried and then closed them again. He said it was crazy.
Howard said his dad his gone. He said he's half an orphan now. He said you're looking at someone who is practically an orphan. Robin said she's a full orphan. Howard said that's right.
Howard said he has to talk to his mom over a microphone. He said that she can't hear so they have this thing set up for that. He said he tells his mom about the funeral and she zones out. He said he played her the clip of the song and she had him cut it off saying that was enough. He said that didn't go the way he expected.
Howard said imagine being married for 75 years. Robin said she can't imagine that at all. Howard said his mom said that his dad was a good man. He said now she says she sees him sitting on her bed. Robin said she hears that a lot. She said they imagine visitations. Howard said he asked her what he was wearing and she said a blue shirt. He said that they buried him in a white shirt. He said he's calling bullshit on that story. He said even when he goes to play the song he can't get through that without his father yelling at him. He played his father yelling at him. Howard said he was probably 5 years old at the time. He said that man knew how to shut him up.
Howard said he's not sure why he had to sit down. He said he gets the shut up thing. Howard played the clip of Ben telling him to ''Shut up, sit down!'' again.
Howard said he likes that his dad was upset because he had to get to the song. He said something important was happening. He said he was trying to get into the zone to sing.
Howard said his father loved his desk way more than he loved him. He said he knows that. He said he never had anywhere to put stuff as a kid. He said that he had all kinds of places to store stuff. He said he sat down at his desk at his apartment and everything was in its place. He said he had to go through all of his shit. He said he went through it and there's so much stuff. He said he has financial stuff. He said he found his wallet and it had some stuff written down on it. He said it was a note where he wrote out what he wanted for lunch so the waiter knew what he wanted. He said that wrecked him. He said it was the same thing every day.
Howard said his father was into fountain pens and he didn't know how much he was into them. He said that he'd sit at that desk and write things down. He said if he just felt about him the way he felt about that pen. He said he wanted the love that his father gave to that pen. He said his sibling was an object. He said if he had one object of his father's he'd like that pen. He said he wasn't able to find the pen. He said he asked Ava the woman who took care of his parents where it was and she said it was never there. Howard said somewhere along the line the pen got lost. He said that's something he would have loved to have. He said it would have been his connection.
Howard said he found a bunch of tie tacks and he wore one at the funeral. He said that was meaningful to him. He said he'll distribute some of that stuff to the family. He said he was very proud that he was 75 years in the IBEW union. He said he loved that union. He said somehow he got into that back when he was a radio engineer. He said that he got a pin from that. He said he has that pin. He said he wont throw that out. He said he may give that to someone in the family. He said his daughter may want it.
Howard said until the age of about maybe 13 or so he didn't know. He said he started to look through their stuff to get to know his parents better. He said he remembers running in there to look for the porn and what his dad was into. He said he went through their drawers. He said that he ran across his spare glass eye and it shook him. He said he was shaking when he found it.
Howard said he asked his mother about the eye and she told him to talk to his father about it if he wanted to know. He said it was like some big secret. He said he's always been paranoid about eyes. He said he never wants to be in the world without glasses. He said it's like a protection for his eyes. He said he thinks that he started wearing them early on to protect his eyes.
Howard said he went through his dad's stuff. Robin asked if he ever found out how he lost his eye. Howard said he was never able to ask his father. He said he went to his mother and asked her. He said maybe he did talk to him about it. He said that his mother said that he was messing around with some film and lit it on fire and it exploded into his eye. He said he found out the story from her and at some point his father talked to him about it.
Howard said he wanted to be like his father growing up. He said this guy had that and he still joined the military during World War II. He said that didn't stop him. He said that they didn't want to let him in but he insisted. He said he still wanted to serve. He said what was most fascinating to him was that when he drove he was an excellent driver. He said he never complained about the handicap either. He said that he had to live with what he did to himself and never complained about it. He said he admired him so much for that.
Howard said he found another thing in his wallet. He said he had his business card from Aura Recording. He said even as an old man he still kept that. Robin said that's amazing. Robin said he retired early. Howard said he was in his 50s. He said he was forced to retire. He said that he wasn't sure what to do with his eye. He said he has it. He said Beth said maybe throw it in the ocean. He said his dad didn't like the ocean. Robins said take it to the race track. Howard said he'd love to be there. Howard said he's not sure where to put it. Robin said bury it in the track or in the paddock or something. Howard said maybe an eyeball tree will grow.
Howard played some Ben Stern clips. He played the ''proper modulation'' clip where Ben talks about the ''green type of tube'' thing. Howard played his dad interviewing him about global politics at the age of 12. That's where Ben told him not to be stupid, you moron.
Howard had a clip of Ben talking about what he thinks happens when you die. He said no one knows what happens. Ben said that he doesn't think that there's a personal god. He said that you're put on this planet to take care of this earth while you're here.
Howard said his father cared about the future of the planet. He played another clip where he talked about global warming and things like that.
Howard said his dad was like Greta Thunberg before Greta Thunberg. Robin said he saw the bigger picture. She said he wasn't so ''me'' centered. Howard said he sounds like an amazing man. He said he wished he had known him better.
Robin said she had a family member who lost a hand and he just wore a bandage over his stump. She said he was a truck driver and he was able to do everything for himself. She said it was fascinating to a little girl. She said she wondered what happened to his hand and one day they were sitting together and she loved talking to the guy. She said he told her how he lost it in a car accident when he drove when he wasn't supposed to be driving. She said that he showed her how he did things by himself and how it was no big deal anymore. She said it made her feel closer to him when he opened up to her. Robin said Howard was robbed of a relationship and so was Ben. Howard said his dad was proud of him and he did say he loves him on the air. He said he did badger him into it but he did get him to say it. He said he won't bore you with that clip.
Howard said it was sad burying his dad. He said he wanted to be like his dad and he loved him.
Howard said he likes Robin's look. He said he likes her glasses. Robin said they're old ones. Howard said he heard her talking about her weight loss on the Howard Stern Summer School special. Robin said she has lost a bit. She said she's able to move around a lot easier now. She said she feels healthier now.
Howard thanked the staff for sending condolence cards. He said he won't make fun of them but he did get angry over having to open them all up and read them. He said he did an interview for this Dan's Paper out in the Hamptons and he mentioned that his father had passed. He said that he was talking about these barns he's painting and that paper came out and the story went out. Howard said he should have told the story on this show first but they were on summer vacation. He said it was on his mind. He said he used Dan's Paper to break the news. He said he started hearing from everyone and he was so fucking annoyed.
Howard said he knows people are comforted by that stuff but he's the opposite way. He said he came up with a thing and wrote everyone back. He said he found it very intrusive. He said he's still dealing with his mom. He said now he's writing back to people. He said that he's not looking to touch anything that Richard Christy licked. He said the guy is disgusting and vile.
Howard read a fan letter asking why he gave the news to Dan's Papers. He said in a way he wanted to said it happened in July and he wasn't going to keep it quiet for 2 months or a month. Robin said she's glad he got it out there when he did. She said now he'd be getting the barrage of notes and calls.
Howard said he thinks Gary was afraid to send him anything. Gary said he was so nervous that he didn't contact him. He said he was emailing with Beth and said it to her. He said that he didn't want to bother Howard. He said you have to send a card at least so he did that.
Howard said it's a sad thing. He said he was glad he was off the radio at the time. He said there was a lot going on at the time. He said he's not sure how he would have gotten through the show. He said that he would have kept working. He said that was what his dad would have done.
Howard asked Gary how his knees are doing. Gary said they're good. He said he can play the game no problem but he still can't kneel. He said there are limitations with knee replacements. He said they tell you you'll be like new but then they eventually tell you that you may never be able to kneel ever again. Howard asked how he blows Jon Hein. Gary said it's very hard.
Howard said they have a lot of big things happening soon. He said they have Imagine Dragons, Adam Levine, Rosie O'Donnell, Jimmy Kimmel, Drew Barrymore dating game and more coming up.
Howard said he and Beth were talking about Drew and they were coming up with some names for her. He said they had some dudes in mind and she wanted to do this dating game thing so they're going to do it. Robin said they could drag it out to a Bachelorette thing. Howard said they could do that too. That led to Howard talking about getting previews of The Bachelorette and how he watched a bunch last night. He said he has to tell you that they have two this season and he just loves that fucking show.
Howard talked about the hot Bachelorette and what's been going on with her on the show.
Howard had JD come on to talk about Gabby and Rachel. Howard said the staff has been debating who is hotter. JD said he has been talking to staffer Samantha (Fontana) about it and she thinks Gabby is hotter but he thinks Rachel is hotter. Howard said Gabby's body but Rachel's head would be the way to go. Samantha got on and said that she thought for sure it would be Gabby for JD. Howard said he would pick Gabby. He said she's very thin and long. He said he finds that very attractive. He said he could put up with her emotional bullshit with that body.
Howard said he loves that show so much. He said even when it's boring it's good. He said he hates wasting time but then he watches this show. He said Mary McCormack told him to watch Married at First Sight. He said it was 17 episodes long and he got into it. He said they took some morons to get married like an arranged marriage thing. JD said there are shows where people get married based on astrological signs. Howard said he can't watch that. He said he doesn't get that. He said it's like believing in the bible. Samantha said goodbye to him over that. She was joking and stuck around talking about the astrological stuff with him. Robin said she never should have talked to her. She said she had some thoughts about how great it would be to hang out with her and now this.
Howard said he watched Married at First Sight and watched all of them. He said he'll never go back though. He said they had this Pastor Cal on the show and he liked this guy. He said he could hang out with that guy. JD said that guy is married. Howard said he thought he'd be good for Robin but she told him that she's closed for business down below.
Howard said he's supposed that Samantha is into that astrological stuff. Samantha said she's not that into it. She said compared to the staff she's a little kookier in the belief system stuff. JD said he's seen her and Sal have some deep conversations. Howard said he heard they call her ''Salmantha.'' Samantha said she does believe in a higher being. Howard asked how many dimes she's found. Samantha said they were at a staff lunch this summer and Sal was having a deep conversation with someone. She said he was tearing up and Wolfie threw some dimes on the floor and Sal found them and said ''See, this is what happens to me.''
Howard asked if Samantha talks to the trees. Samantha said she does not. She said she thinks there are signs and stuff. Robin asked if she thinks that Sal really floated over his bed. Samantha said you can have some of these experiences if you're open to them.
Howard asked if Samantha believes in psychics. Samantha said she has had some experiences with mediums. She said that her father died and there were some things that this woman revealed to her. Howard said he doesn't believe it. He said he had to do this with someone close to him to prove that they get stuff out of you without you even knowing about it. He said this woman led the whole thing and didn't even realize it. He said he could show her how they do it. Samantha said she gets it.
Robin asked if she got out of that meeting what she wanted. Samantha said that she did. Howard asked how her dad died. Samantha said that he died on the floor with blood on the floor reaching for the phone. She said he was very sick but he had a lot of close calls as she was growing up. She said that he kind of went fast when he did go. She said when he was found it was quite graphic. She said it wasn't pretty. She said she had a similar thing with her father that Howard had. She said she was lacking closure and that's why she gave the medium a shot.
Howard asked what the medium said. Samantha said that her dad kept a mug on the side of his piano and he called it his Bati. She said that the medium told her he wanted her to remember the little things and she was seeing a cup on the side of a piano. Howard said if he was listening to this conversation he'd tell her how it was being done. Howard asked what she charged her to tell her about the Bati. Samantha said she thinks it was $100. Howard said she didn't hear anything new though. Robin asked if she got closure from that. Samantha said she thinks she did. She said maybe she's a fool. Howard said everyone is fine. He thanked JD and Samantha for their thoughts on The Bachelorette. He let them go after that.
Howard said over the summer Sal told them that he found 7 dimes in 8 days. He asked Sal what that means. Sal said it just means he's doing the right thing and he's on the right path in life. Robin asked what has changed in his life. Sal said he sees a lot of birds and things like that. Howard and Robin said they see that stuff too.
Howard said he and Beth had some fun with the bird thing after his dad died. He said that they would walk around saying they saw birds and that's his dad.
Sal asked if the bird shit on him. Howard said he'll tell you this. He said there's this neighbor who invited him over to see this chess tournament they had going on over there. He said he was the only one wearing a mask there. He said everyone is back to normal other than him. He said that he was playing chess against people and everyone wanted to play him.
Howard said after that he was walking home and this kid stops him and tells him about his life and what was going on. He said as he's talking to him a bird shat right on his head. He said luckily he was wearing a hat. He said this bird shit on his head to chase him away. He said his dad told him a story about going on vacation in England once and a bird shit right on his head. He said that was the only thing he told him about that trip. He said his father is bald and he was very embarrassed.
Sal said this is a sign. He said that's what was going on with the phone at the funeral too. He said souls work with energy and they can flash lights and stuff. Howard asked why his father would cut the song off if everyone was enjoying it. Sal said he was cutting it off because he knew he'd restart it. Howard said he wasn't able to get it to play again. He said he had two copies.
Howard asked Sal to stop talking to Samantha too. He said his dopiness is rubbing off on her.
Howard said after the bird shit on his head he just wanted to get home to clean it off. He said Sal is such a nut job. Howard did another live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said Tom almost left this song off his album. He said he didn't think the song was good enough apparently. Howard said he can't believe Tom is gone. Robin said you can still hear him on his channel there. Howard said no one dies at Sirius. He read some more details about that song.
Howard said people were wondering what the big story of the summer was. He said he thinks it was Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez getting married over the summer. He said he might have advised Ben to slow down. He said how about just dating her for awhile. He said they both got out of marriages so they might want to slow things down. Robin said they were married weren't they. Howard said they were engaged. He said they never got married. He said they did that movie Gigli together and hooked up. He said the best part of that was the newscasters having to do stories about them. He said they had to talk about how they met on Gigli and no one knew how to pronounce it. He said he has a montage of newscasters not knowing how to pronounce Gigli. He played that clip and they were saying ''Giggly'' and things like that.
Howard said it turns out that is harder to say than Dell'Abate. Howard said you'd think they'd read ahead and figure it out. He said they must get to the story and not pre-read it.
Howard said Ben and Jen got married a few times. He said they got married at his home and then somewhere else. Robin said she thinks they got married in Vegas. Howard said Ronnie should do that. He said he's in Vegas.
Howard said Jennifer Lopez brings out a lot of weird feelings from people. He had a clip of a newscaster who didn't like Jennifer and he went on and on about her. He said this guy gets really worked up about her. Howard played the clip and the guy went on a rant about her being like a Kardashian and how annoying she is to him.
Howard said these two maniacs are the people discussing her in the news and then complaining about it. Howard said this woman watched a documentary about Jennifer and she said it was self indulgent. Howard played more of the clip and the two newscasters kept going on and on about her.
Howard said that's a news show. He said that guy is way obsessed. He said that he doesn't make sense either. He said she's talented and not famous for nothing like the Kardashians.
Howard said he's kind of shocked by the media paying so much attention to them. He said he doesn't blame Ben and Jen for that though. He said that's the media's fault.
Howard said this is a woman on in Canada who is upset that ''J-Lo' will no longer be used. He said this is fucking weird. He played a clip of this woman on a rant about the end of that nickname coming to an end.
Howard said he can't take it. He said this is really dumb. Robin said these people don't make any sense. Howard said this is why the country seems to gloomy. He said he was surprised those two got married. He said they should date a little bit longer. Robin said she got engaged to A-Rod in 10 minutes too. Howard said it must be really important to her to get engaged quickly.
Howard said she has to listen to him about her titties. He asked if they're just too small. Kim said she had two kids and they drained them. She said she's like an A-cup now. Howard asked if they're all stretched out. She said not that much. Gary said she can email him and he'll put the picture up for Howard. Howard put her on hold to get Gary's information.
Howard said he thinks he's good at this. He said he can give her a real evaluation. Howard said he's going to be looking for symmetry. He got Kim back on the line. She said she got the info from Gary and she's going to take the picture now. Howard asked her to take her top off and show her body too. He said he wants to evaluate her whole body. Kim said she's taking it now.
Howard asked what's gong on over there. She said she's emailing it right now. Howard said she'll have her answer in seconds. Howard said he may ask her to slap her titty against the phone to hear the density.
Howard asked Gary what's going on. Gary said he has the picture now. Howard asked Kim how old she is. She said she's 40. Howard said he's seeing her now and she has nice titties and doesn't need implants. He said she has nice nips that are in the right place. He said she has nice boobs too. He said he'd think she's got a nice B-cup. He said she has a great body. He said that she might lose nipple sensation if she gets implants. Howard said she shouldn't get implants.
Howard said he would suggest getting rid of her tattoo. Kim said she has a sleeve to remember her mom and dad. Howard said she doesn't need that. He said look at that sleeve on her. He said ''Oy vey!'' Howard said she has such a nice body and she does that to it. He said monkeypox is more attractive. He said he looks like he's in a forest or something. Kim said she was younger when she got them. Howard asked what she weighs. She said she's 5'9'' and 120 pounds. Howard said she looks great. Kim said she suffers from confidence problems. Howard said he'd love to see her face. Howard asked how it is. Kim said it's good. She said she can send him a shot of her face. Howard said why not.
Howard said the staff agrees with him for the most part on the boobs thing. He said 72 percent say she doesn't need implants. Howard asked how old she is again. She said she's 40 as of August 16th. Gary said the picture hasn't arrived yet. Howard asked where it is. Kim said she sent it.
Howard asked who Kim looks like. She said she's not sure. She said that she found out her father isn't her real father. Howard said he was asking what famous person she looks like. Kim didn't know. Gary said the picture still hasn't come. Howard asked her to send it again. Kim said she resent it.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake George Takei who asked if her husband needs a ball lift. He'd like to see a dick pic. Howard thanked George for that and let him go.
Gary said they still didn't get the picture. Howard had her send it again. Gary said he's still not getting it. Howard said he's getting anxious. He said he likes her boobs. He said that he'd like to talk to the people who think she needs boobs. He said he wishes he could see her face but he has to move on. Gary said he's not getting it. He said he just got other emails from other people but nothing from her. Howard said he can't evaluate her face then. Kim asked if they can figure out something else. Howard said maybe try JD or somebody. Kim said she keeps sending it and it says sent but then it says it's queued.
Howard said the only person who voted for the boob job was JD. JD said he actually didn't vote in the poll. Kim said JD doesn't matter. She said she was just looking for Howard's opinion.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake Dan Rather who said those boobs are perkier than a monkey after an espresso. He said the only thing wrong with her is her accent and the tattoos. (She had a strong southern accent.)
Howard spent a little more time talking to fake Dan about his time in Vietnam and the women he met there.
Howard said he's not sure what JD is up to but he must want women to have boobs bigger than his. Howard said Dan thinks her boobs are perfect. Kim thanked Dan for that.
Howard said you can't get better feedback than that. Gary said he still hasn't gotten her picture. Howard said they have to move on then. He said problem solved. Kim thanked him for having her on. Howard said don't get the boob job. He asked if she's really into sex. Kim said she is very sexual. Howard asked how many times a week she bangs her man. Kim said at least 10. She said she blows him 3-5 times a week. Robin said that's a lucky guy. Howard said Robin needs a picture.
Howard asked Kim if she dresses up in outfits. Kim said not really but sometimes. Howard said she must get right down to business. Kim said she might wear heels at times. Howard asked if she likes spanking. She said it turns her on when he smacks her ass during sex. She said she likes her hair pulled. Howard asked about being choked. Kim said she's not too into that. She said a little bit but not real hard.
Robin said it sounds like the guy is doing a lot of hard work over there. Howard asked if she gets on top of him while he's on his back. Kim said that's his favorite position. Howard asked if she's fully shaved. She said she is. Howard asked if she role plays. Kim said not really. Howard said he has to go. He wrapped up with Kim and said she doesn't need implants.
The caller said that it was nice that they talked about it on the air. She said it was cool the way they talked about it. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go.
Howard said it's 10 already and he had a lot of things to talk about. He said that he wants to leave them with the fact that they made the news while they were away. He said what he's talking about is the hot mic after the last show in June. He said you heard him talking about the fact that he was going to be in Doctor Doom over the summer. He said that sent shock waves over the geekdom. He played a clip of what it sounded like after the show that day.
Howard said the fans heard that and the emails poured in about the leak. He read some of the comments they got that day. People were upset about that getting out on the air and they were blaming Gary for the fuck up.
Howard said within hours the Marvel fans were all over the story. He said people were reacting online. He had some examples from TikTok and places like that where people were reacting to the news.
Howard said that he released a nerdgasm across the world. He said not one woman was in that clip. He said that people wondered where he would fit into the Marvel universe. He played more clips of people trying to figure it out coming up with their theories on what was going to happen.
Howard said there's a lot of excitement there. He said no one seemed to be thrilled to have him in the role of Doctor Doom. He said fuck you to everyone. He said that he would be an excellent Doctor Doom if he took the role. He said he was in the movie Private Parts. Robin said they hate whoever might be playing the role. Howard said people hated that Michael Keaton was going to be Batman but he turned out to be the best. Howard said Robert Pattinson was great too.
Howard played more clips of people commenting on the Doctor Doom thing. People were going on and on about how bad he'd be as the character.
Howard said a lot of these fuck faces can't even imagine touching another human's breast. He said he can. Howard said he wants to make these nerds eat their words.
Howard said Doctor Doom's super power is making nerds freak out. He said you're going to like this movie. He said just give a chance. He said of course he screen tested. He said he got a call right after this because of the leak and it almost cost him the role of a lifetime.
Howard said he's going to play some of the role to show you how he gets into character. He had Robin play Peter Parker as Spider-Man. He said that he'll be Doctor Doom. Howard said he'll get someone else to do it if Robin can't do it. Robin said she's not familiar with the character. Howard asked Jason if he can do it.
Jason got on and told Robin who Doctor Doom is and how he got his powers. Howard said he looks like a Doctor Doom. He said just look at him. He said he's not sure why they think he can't play the part. He said his face is fucked up and he has to wear a mask.
Howard had Mike Trainor on to talk about this too. Mike said there are a lot of people who are angry at the She Hulk show just because she's a woman. Howard said he likes that show. He said he looks forward to each episode. He said the woman playing the part is great. Robin said she only watched one episode. Mike said the first one was rough. He said just stick with it.
Howard said when she She Hulks it's really sexy. He said he's not sure what he's looking at when they do the hulk thing. Mike said that's a CG thing they do with her.
Howard had Mike play the part of Spider-Man and Howard did Doctor Doom. He played it straight. Robin played She Hulk and Howard ended up calling her a cunt. He said Spider-Man is a fly on his shoe. He said he gets what he wants as Doctor Doom. Howard said fuck you to Peter Parker and his aunt May. He said fuck you to Robin's She Hulk too.
Howard and Mike kept the bit up for a few minutes. Doom was telling Spider-Man that at least he doesn't have to pretend to be someone else. Robin was getting into her She Hulk role at this point.
Howard said look at Robin getting into character now. He said she didn't want to do it earlier but now she's into it. Howard said he can't stop Robin from acting now. Robin said she's in character now.
Howard said you can see the acting. He said that should shut everyone up. Robin said they'll have to see what people say now. Mike said they're expecting an announcement this weekend. Howard said Mike was very good in that. He said he was in a Golden Corral commercial when he was younger. He said nice job to him and Robin who was in Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Howard said here's a guy on the internet who calls himself The Real Doctor Doom. He said he records messages as Doom. Howard played the clip and the guy was talking about Howard's leak and how it's not the real Doctor Doom. Howard said he may hire this guy as his dialect coach. Robin said he's terrible.
Howard said this guy Marcus Hammer on YouTube reacted to the news. He played his reaction and the guy gave his thoughts on Howard playing the part and how he'd pull it off. He said he can't see it but they'll have to see if they can pull it off. Howard said he'll be wonderful in it. He said he's so glad the internet was invented because 80-90 percent of it is just like that guy.
Howard took a call from a woman who said he is the man and Robin and Howard are her heroes. She said she has been a fan since she was 13. She said she can't wait to see him in another movie. Howard said you know how people are. He asked if she needs a breast implant evaluation. She said she does not.
Howard said critics thought it was crazy that Robert Downey Jr. was cast as Iron Man and look at how that turned out. Howard said he will be great as Doctor Doom and he'll win an academy award for it.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's sorry about his dad and all of that. She said that his parents were very nice to her when she met them at K-Rock on their last day. She said rest in peace. She said Ben was like 83 when she met them. She said she hopes that his mom is okay. Howard said he got a nice note from her about his dad. He said she sent some ice cream thing over. Mariann told him what that was about and went on and on about that. Howard said it was nice talking to her. Mariann said that he shouldn't do Doctor Doom. She said that he needs his time. Howard said she makes a good point. Robin said he'd have fun doing that. She said that's time well spent.
Howard said his Doctor Doom is very adult. He said that's why he called She Hulk a cunt. He said this is going to be a very mature movie. He said you see how he slips into character. He said he's like Daniel Day Lewis. He said he becomes Doctor Doom. He said that he jerks off 21 times a month. He said that this Doctor Doom likes to rub his finger on his taint to see what his balls smell like.
Howard said they've run out of time and they're going to be back tomorrow. He said ''it's good to see you all... I guess.'' He did a live commercial read and ended the show around 10:25am.
Howard started the show talking about how he has so much to get to that he's not going to bullshit around. He said he has to get right to Bobo's Ultimate Question. He said he has so much else to get to so he's getting right to Bobo. Howard said they got Bobo some coaches to help him with his question. He said that he's getting right into this with him. He said he doesn't have time to have nice moments with Robin or anything. He said he has to get right in there.
Howard said Bobo has been calling the show for how long. Robin said since the 90s. Howard said the last 30 years he's been calling in with content for the show. Robin said that would put him in the 90s. Howard said she's right. He said Bobo puts a lot of time into writing his questions. He said he's the superfan.
Howard said after all the work he has put in with the legal pads most of the audience would agree the questions aren't great. He said he had Bobo work on his questions over the summer and come up with the ''ultimate question.'' He said they set Bobo up with some coaches to get him on the right track. He said he has some example to play. He said the first coaching session was with 3 comedy pros. He said Andy Richter is one. He said Fred Armisen and Ike Barinholtz are the first coaches.
Howard played some audio of Bobo talking to the three comedy pros. Bobo told them that he was going to ask about going to therapy and if it changed him. Andy told him no. Ike wondered what his question was. Howard said Bobo starts out with his mentoring and he starts with a long monologue. He said you just want him to shut up. Robin said he's there with three comedy professionals and he won't stop pontificating.
Howard played more of Bobo talking to the three. He went into more detail about his question. Andy said he thinks they know the answer to that already. He said Howard is still in therapy. Andy said maybe he can come up with another angle for therapy. He said his question was more of a yes or no answer kind of thing.
Howard said Bobo did some ass kissing and started with Fred Armisen. He said he went into the Bobo complimenting Fred show. He played the clip of Bobo talking about how much he liked Fred doing Prince on Saturday Night Live. He said he was spot on with that. Ike asked if he had another question because he'd like to see his kids grow.
Howard said Ike just wanted to move on. He said he didn't know it was going to take all day. He said then Bobo tried to compliment Ike and he was confusing him with Eric Andre. He said this is Bobo complimenting Ike and totally fucking it up. Howard played the clip and Bobo called Ike Andre. Bobo thought Ike was the guy who messed with him on the phones there at the Stern Show. Ike asked if he thinks that he's on Impractical Jokers. Bobo got him mixed up with Eric Andre.
Howard said even if it was Eric he still didn't get it right. He called him by his last name. Howard asked Bobo puppet what happened there. Fred did his Bobo puppet thing and explained why he got so confused there. Howard said that was a fuck up within a fuck up within a fuck up.
Howard said Bobo ended up with some useful advice and they helped Bobo. He said this is how it ended up. Bobo had a question for Howard about his art and if he has ever tried going out of his home studio to paint in a remote location. He said the colors are more vibrant outdoors. Andy told him he could answer as Howard and just said ''NO.'' Fred and Ike had some other examples of things that he could ask about. Andy said more than just a yes or no question is what he has to come up with.
Bobo Puppet said that he has a question. He asked something similar to what Bobo was coming up with but he went into way more detail about going to a remote location to paint.
Howard said the guys really did try with Bobo. He said he could see it going in one ear and out the other with Bobo though. Robin said it did go out the other ear. Howard said he wishes that the other three guys would call into the show with questions.
Howard said Bobo's next helper was Michael Rapaport and he didn't mince words with him. He played some audio of Michael talking to Bobo about his question. Bobo said he wanted to ask Howard why the new Beavis and Butt-Head movie didn't release in theaters. Michael told him that's a shit question. He said that's a bad one and he had all summer to come up with something.
Howard said that didn't go well with Rapaport. He said then they tried Jeff Probst. He said he has had 43 seasons of Survivor so he might know what to do. Howard said Bobo started out promoting the new season of Survivor. Bobo gave him a nice plug. Jeff said this is supposed to be about Bobo though. Howard said Jeff tried to help Bobo out and he gave him a pep talk. He played some audio of Jeff suggesting things to ask about. Jeff went into detail about what he could ask about with Howard and his life. He said this is the biggest moment of his Stern career. He said when you ask it he has to surprise Howard with it.
Robin said it sounds like Bobo isn't hearing any of this. Howard said during the process Bobo talked to Jon Blitt and he didn't share things with the coaches. He said he had a question he wanted to ask and didn't share it with the coaches.
Howard said now it's time for Bobo's Ultimate Question. He played a song they created for this and Howard wondered what this will be about. Howard said he has waited for months for this and he's had coaches over the summer for this. He said now it's time for Bobo's Ultimate Question. Robin asked what if he fails. Howard said it doesn't matter. He said he will fail and you know that. He said they can hope for the best.
Howard said he has Bobo on the phone now. He got him on and said he has had a lot of time to think. He asked Bobo why he ignored all of the advice. He said they put him in a good place with their questions. Bobo said he did write down some of the stuff they suggested. He said he re-crafted it. Howard asked what his process was. Bobo said he listened to Jeff Probst and he thought about his success and then turned it into a question. He said he asked what he would do if he was leaving radio and he orchestrated it perfectly. Howard said he has no idea what he's talking about. He had Bobo Puppet explain. Fred did his thing with that and rambled for a few.
Robin heard what Bobo was asking about and how he crafted the question. Howard said he hopes no one is at home operating heavy machinery. He said sit down if you are.
Howard asked Bobo how long it took him to write this. Bobo said he did come up with something after listening to the coaches. He said he did listen to them all. Howard said this is Bobo's Ultimate Question. He said be prepared for a golden nugget.
Howard turned it over to Bobo. Bobo asked Howard what he would say helped him in his life to become such a great communicator. He said he started out and he was very critical of himself. He asked how he became a great communicator. Robin started laughing. Howard said if that's his question he'll answer it. He said he's not criticizing this but it's an obvious answer. He said what made him a great communicator is the amount of hours he put in. He said he spent a lot of hours on the radio and he wasn't always good. He said he put in the hours and that allowed him to become more of himself on the air. He said he had freedom to do what he wanted on the air.
Bobo asked if therapy helped too. Howard said don't answer his own question for him. He said he had his father around and he influenced him a lot. He said he had a lot of influences. He said he had Mad Magazine and things like that growing up. Robin said the one thing Howard can do is self critique. She said that's one thing Bobo can't do. She said Bobo thinks he crafted something after just spitting it out.
Howard asked if Bobo had another question for him. Bobo said that was the one he wanted to bring to the forefront. Robin asked if he learned anything from that. Bobo said he really put thought into it and didn't just give a yes or no answer. He said that's what he was looking for. Howard said he's sure the country is shocked by the time he put into that question.
Bobo asked how he'd rate that question. Howard said he'd rate it a 15 on a scale of 1 to 10. He said he's not sure if Bobo remembers anything he said. Bobo repeated what Howard said. Howard said everything is an influence in your life.
Bobo Puppet asked if he thinks that if he went to therapy would he stop being a moron. Howard said he has the ultimate question right there.
Howard said he's glad Bobo worked all summer on that. Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that question was neither here nor there. She said that she used to talk to Bobo about Michael Rapaport after he defended her from him. Bobo said he was trashing her and he stopped it but they didn't play that. Howard said he was trying to celebrate this but it's backfiring.
Howard moved on and took another call from a guy who said it sucked as usual but that's why we like Bobo. He said the few of us that like him anyway. He said that he's bad so that's why he's good. He said it always leads to nonsense and Fred making fun of him. He said he doesn't want him punished in any way. Howard said there's a fan who thinks he did a good job.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if that's the final question he has to hear from Bobo since it was the ultimate question. Bobo said that when Howard lays down his headphones that's the last of his questions. Howard said he's not sure when that's going to happen. He said he had a conversation with his mother about that. He said his mother is laying in bed and she's having a tough time. He said it's all very heavy. He did an impression of his mother talking to him about going to the eye doctor and how she won't be around when they come to put in a new TV for her. Howard was telling her he has it all set up so they can do it when she's out.
Howard said his mom is all confused now. He said it's terrible. He said he's trying to comfort her but she doesn't know what day it is. He said that he'd be the same if he was laying around all day. He said she still has her marbles but she says she's confused. He said she has pain all over every day. He said he would forget what day it was when they were on vacation. He said it's not that big of a deal.
Howard said his mother was looking for a calendar. He said that means that Beth has to get her one. He said he'd get her one then. He said that she wanted to know what kind of calendar he was going to get. He said he could get her a desk calendar. She didn't want that. He said he suggested some other things and she didn't want them either. He said she wasn't sure if she could put anything in the wall to hang a calendar. Howard said of course she could. He said she wants to look straight ahead to see it so they can put it on the wall with the TV on it. He said then she's asking when the TV is coming. He was going around and around with the calendar thing.
Howard said he told his mom that he'll get her a medium sized calendar and she'll be able to see it. He said she said it was a good idea to get a calendar. Robin asked if he's ever thought of one of those digital calendars. Howard said no way. He said only analog. He said nothing digital. Robin said she may forget to mark the days so she'll forget what day it is.
Howard said he made a huge mistake talking to his mom. He said he told her next year he'll get her one of Beth's calendars. He said his mom said ''What!?'' and he just stopped there. He said he didn't want to explain it to her. He said she was asking when she's going to get her calendar. Howard said he told her Beth is going to look for one on Amazon. He said his mother asked what that is.
Howard said he had to explain to his mother what the North Shore Animal League calendar thing was and how Beth is in it. He said his mom was asking for him to pray for her. He said that she was asking him to just pray that she has the strength to get to the eye doctor. Howard said he actually did pray and started speaking in tongues. He did an impression of that.
Howard said he still has Bobo there. Bobo said a few last words and Howard thanked him for not showing up to the funeral. He said that was Bobo's Ultimate Question. He played the theme song again for that.
Howard said that question was so good it stays with you. He went into his impression of his mother again and had her talking about how she influenced her son. She said that Howard was influenced by her father. She said the had the shtick in the family and Howard had that shtick. She said that she told Howard that someone has to be on radio so why not you. Howard had her laughing at her own lines.
Howard was going on and on with his mother talking about him and what he did as a child that got him into radio.
Howard said his mother has to go in a wheelchair and she'll be fine going to the eye doctor. He said she does go to the table to eat her meals. He said that gets her up and going. Howard said she won't go out because she's vain. He said she doesn't think she looks good but everyone there is 900 years old so he's not sure what she's worried about. Howard said his mother is still with it and she's good. He said the have great conversations. He said that they have had some wonderful conversations.
Bobo asked Robin a question about flying and Howard said stop it. He said they weren't looking for another question. Bobo Puppet asked a question about Robin and if he'd like to see her rubbing her pussy and squirted on him. Howard said that's a good question. He said he likes Bobo Puppet. He said he would not like to see that.
Howard got back to his impression of his mother and told more stories from his younger years. Howard had her talking about the jobs he was offered as a young man and how she would tell him not to take them. She said that Howard was offered a job helping out with a porn movie and she told him not to take that job. Howard had his mom talking about how she got him a subscription to Playboy when he was young. She told him those are not real women and women like her and his sister are real women.
Howard said there you have it. They got Bobo's Ultimate Question and had his mom there too. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said he remembers hearing this song for the first time. He said he liked it the first time he heard it. He said it was one of those songs. He said when he used to spin records it was a staple song. He said someone wants to hear that. He spent a minute talking about the singer of the song and how the song came about.
Howard said this was a big hit for the band. Robin said that the lyrics are like you'd talk to a guy.
Howard said he got an email from Wayne Siegel who runs the Legend auto group. He said that he sent him a great email where they had this Loom deodorant. He said in an ad they show you something and you want it. He said you think you need it. He said he used to see bottled water and they kept bombarding you with ads and he started drinking it. He said he's convinced the water is better in the bottle than what comes out of the tap. He said we don't know if it's better or not.
Howard said his guy who works for him there at the house says the have a filtration system in the house. He said his water his as clean as the bottled stuff. He said he still doesn't believe it. Robin said she's the same way. She said she has filtration there too. She said they're trying to get you not to trust showering in it. Howard said he's moving to the moon if that happens.
Howard said Wayne sent him this thing or Loom deodorant and this woman is talking about how she uses this deodorant cream that you rub into your hands and then into your asshole. He said she wants protection from the smell down there. He said what they're putting out there is that you want this. He said deodorant is only used on your armpits but now they want you to use it in your ass. He said even after a shower you don't have a great smell down there. He said they're saying you need this for your asshole so it smells good all day. He said the guys are telling him this is Loomy, not Loom. He said whatever it is here's the commercial. He played the audio of this woman talking about how this stuff works.
Robin asked if this still works after you've used your butt. Howard said it's like deodorant after a work out. He said it can take care of the smell down there. Robin said okay then. Howard said Chris Wilding heard him talking about this and put it on his balls and ass. He said he smelled pretty good back there.
Chris got on and said he heard about this back in 2019 and tried it out. He said it made sense to him. He said that you do have a bit of an armpit area down there. He said he used it after a shower and he put it between his balls and thigh and in his asshole. He said that he went all around and even slipped a finger in a little bit. He said he went internal with it. Howard asked if he went to bed with anyone who said he smelled good. Chris said he didn't smell. He said he didn't get any complaints. Robin asked if it has a scent. Chris said it does and he got Jasmine Rose. He said it's not what you want your ass or balls to smell like.
Howard said that's how Madison Avenue works. He said he loves Wayne but don't inundate him with emails now. He said that Wayne sends him 300 emails and this is the first one he used. He said that was a good one though.
Howard said he's been using natural deodorants for years and he stopped using the stuff with aluminum in it. He said the stuff he uses is okay. He said it kind of works. He said around 3 or 4 o'clock it stops working. He said he stopped using Dry Idea years ago. He said he was reading an article about aluminum free rub-ons and if the natural stuff is better for you. He said there is no definitive evidence that says they're unsafe. He said he still believes the NY Times. He said this article is in there. He said that some people think it's not a reliable source but he does. Robin said that you have to find out who did the study. She said that's what Dr. Agus would suggest. Howard said he will have to find out.
Howard said he ordered 3 bottles of Dry Idea so he can go back to it. He said Beth uses Secret and that's regular deodorant. He said he's going back. He said even Beth said it's fine.
Robin said she saw that Jared Kushner put out a book and he said he thinks this generation is going to defeat death and he wants to live forever. She said that he's thinking we're going to live forever. She said maybe Howard doesn't want to go back to the aluminum. Howard said he has to hang on until Jared Kushner figures out how to stay alive.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that lady in the Loomy commercial is gross and no one is going to want to use that stuff. Howard said they know what they're doing and people will use it. He said she has the face that middle America will trust. He said that's what they're looking for.
Howard answered a knock at the door and fake Arnold was there talking about how he loves the scent of a woman without deodorant. He said he loves the real musk of a woman. Howard let him go on about that for a minute.
Howard said he called Ronnie back. He said if you don't call him back he gets upset. He said that Ronnie will think that he thinks he doesn't have to call him back because he's a big shot.
Ronnie got on and asked what he's talking about. He said he didn't say a word. Howard said they sent Ronnie out to L.A. for some bits over the summer. He said some people complain about him taking the summer off so the sent the guys out there to L.A. and it didn't really work but they tried. Howard said the channels sounded great over the summer. He said that he loved what he was hearing. He said he'd tune in and he thought the show was really good. He said the way it was all cut up was wonderful. He said no one can complain when they're not there.
Howard said he has been watching the McEnroe special on HBO. Jon Hein said it's on Showtime actually. Howard said it's good.
Howard said Ronnie went out to L.A. and he was out of control out there. He said he accused Gary of big timing him. Gary got on and said they were out to dinner one night and sitting outside. He said a guy walked by who Ronnie said he was a big fan of. He said Ronnie wanted to go in and say hello to him. Gary said he asked Ronnie to let the guy just eat and then say hello on his way out. Gary said the guy came out and he introduced him to the guy and the guy kind of brushed him off. He said Ronnie thinks that he ruined it for him. Howard said he might be on Ronnie's side in this. Ronnie said the guy was standing right inside and he was just going to walk in and say hi. He said that he had a car built by a custom place and he was just going to compliment it and walk away. He said he wasn't with his girlfriend at that point.
Howard asked Gary if he feels he has to parent him. Gary said no. He said he was just trying to help him and he was getting all excited about it. Ronnie said that Gary wanted him to wait until he came out with his girlfriend and then embarrassed him.
Howard asked who this guy is. Ronnie said he has this show called Selling Sunset and he had a car built by this shop and he saw it on the show being built and he wanted to say something to him about it.
Howard asked if Ronnie thinks that Gary is afraid of embarrassing the show or something. Ronnie said it was worse when he waited for him to come out. He said he embarrassed the guy. He said that he was at a table of about 15 people so he was embarrassed. JD said that Gary leaned up and said something to him as he was walking out. Howard said he's thinking that he should have just gone in instead of Gary doing that to him.
Howard said he's not sure what Gary was thinking about. Gary said he was trying not to have Ronnie chasing the guy down. He said maybe he made the wrong call. He said he's sorry if he did. He said Ronnie went on the show the next day and talked about how he thinks he's jealous of him.
Howard played a clip of Ronnie talking about why he thinks Gary is jealous of him and how it's been going on for years.
Gary said his job is to talk to the guests in the hallway and they may say something that they can use on the show. He said that he doesn't do it because he's jealous of Ronnie. Ronnie said that he will go in and talk to Howard after talking to those people. He said they come out to talk to him and they're looking to talk to him. He said the talk and then Gary comes out and sees that and he walks right in between them like he's not even there.
Gary said he may need to get other intel for the show for Howard. Gary said he can say that he has to talk to the person instead of just walking in front of him. Howard said it sounds like he's being dismissed as a human being. Gary said he's not looking to do that. He said he loves that he has people asking Ronnie for pictures. He said that he's happy for him. He said he's not jealous of Ronnie.
Howard said he has Jason Oppenheimer who is the guy that Ronnie was looking to talk to. He took his call and asked what his take was on this. Fake Jason was talking about how excited he was for Ronnie but then this guy with bad breath got in his face and started going on and on. He said he wanted to talk about NASCAR with Ronnie and this guy had green smoke coming out of his mouth. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
Gary said he can see he got under his skin but he wasn't looking to do that. He said he heard from some other guys about it later. He said they went out with Ronnie and they told him that was the first thing out of his mouth. Howard said it was Jason and Jon Blitt.
Jason got on and said that it wasn't the first thing. He said the were high and he asked for the gossip. He said that's when it came out. Blitt said that Gary kind of scared that guy away. He said Ronnie could have handled it on his own. He said he should have just gone to talk to the guy. Howard said he's embarrassed that Gary got up and said that he was from the Howard Stern Show. Gary said they were outside and not in the restaurant. He said he will not get in Ronnie's business anymore. He said he has a thing with him. Ronnie said Gary has a thing with him.
Robin asked when this all started. Ronnie said it was years ago when they were doing the Scores thing. He said Gary got jealous of him back then. Gary said that he knows where this is coming from. He said he used to get the call from Scores but then Ronnie got it and he figured he was the guy now. He said he wasn't upset about it though. Ronnie said Gary loved it. Gary said he did but not the way Ronnie does.
Howard said it was nice that Jason and Jon went to see Ronnie's house. He said he did hear it's a nice house but they said Ronnie is starting to look his age. Jason said they were able to hang with him. He said that he could see some physical differences. He said he had the old man shuffle thing too. Ronnie said he was high as a kite. Howard asked if he has trouble walking now. Ronnie said he walks with no trouble at all. Howard said maybe he was pegged by his girlfriend recently so that's why he was walking around funny. Ronnie said he's very relaxed out there.
Jason said that Ronnie has a great weed setup out there. He said he has a whole cabinet set up with weed. Howard said he didn't know that Ronnie was into it that much. Ronnie said it's for the weekends. He said they don't do it all the time. He said they have it there for when they have people over.
Howard said he heard the new nickname for Ronnie is Ronnie Chong. Howard said he sees the Ronnie Puppet is there. Fred did his Ronnie Puppet thing and talked about the weed thing and their dog.
Howard asked about the dog Ronnie and Stephanie have. Ronnie said he thought he told him about it. He said the dog ended up just living there but he loves the dog. The name is Peanut. Fred had a dog puppet ready to go with the Ronnie puppet.
Howard asked if Ronnie will get a tattoo of the dog on his arm. Ronnie said the dog may live longer than he does so the dog will have to get a tattoo of him. He said he doesn't get one until after the dog has passed away.
Howard thanked the guys for the update. He said he still has a lot of things to get to. He said Gary does read situations wrong from time to time. He said he'd like to think in his own mind that they're cooler than Selling Sunset. He said Gary didn't have to stand up and do that. He said that embarrasses him. Robin said it is embarrassing for everyone at the table. Howard said he doesn't want Ronnie being blown off by some guy on a reality show. Robin said the guy doesn't know what's going on and then someone is yelling out his name. Howard said then Gary and Ronnie are there getting him rejected by some guy on a reality show. He said he doesn't go out and try to sell himself to anyone. He said if Ronnie wants to go up to the guy that's fine.
Howard said he didn't even get into it about Ronnie and Gary fighting. He said Ronnie gave the guy a fist bump and Gary claimed he didn't. He said then they got into a fight over that. Ronnie said the guy was totally ambushed by the guy and this guy Jason looks at him and he told him about the car and seeing that. He said he stuck out his fist and the guy gave him a little tap and the guys are claiming he didn't. He said he has a witness that saw it and says he did fist bump him.
Howard asked Gary about that. Gary said there were a bunch of guys who didn't see the fist bump. Ronnie said he has a witness who saw it happen. Gary said they didn't see it but if Ronnie wants the win he can have it. Gary said the guys didn't see the fist bump. Ronnie said it was Gary and Rahsaan who said they didn't see it.
Gary and Ronnie kept arguing about that. Gary kept saying he's sorry but Ronnie was still upset with him. Howard said Gary got rejected by a reality TV star. He said you don't want to set yourself up for that. Gary said he gets it. Howard played a song parody about Gary screwing up again.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to talk to the staff about this Gary thing. He said he says he's fine with Ronnie but he comes off as a giant asshole. Gary said Ronnie seems pretty happy and he's happy for him. He said he loves the guy. He said he's known the guy for 38 years and he loves him. The caller said he thinks Gary is jealous of Ronnie. Gary said he's not but he can have that.
Howard wondered what that's all about. He said he's not sure if Alex is listening but he'd like to see his wife naked.
Howard said Alex lost his defamation suit. He said he admitted that Sandy Hook was real. He said that it shows you that he does know the difference. Robin said he said horrible things about people who lost their children and now he's saying it happened. She said he didn't apologize to the families about it. Howard said they have another suit coming up this month in Connecticut.
Howard said the judge had to talk to Alex about having chewing gum. Alex claimed it was gauze from having a tooth pulled. Howard played some audio of that.
Howard played some audio of Alex talking about the vitamins he sells and explaining why they're not FDA approved. He was basically doing an ad for them.
Howard said they say that Alex Jones and his parent company is worth about $135 million. Robin said he claims that it's not worth that much. She said now you can talk crap and make that kind of money. Howard said they have a new product called InstaHard they sell on Alex's show. He played a commercial from the show. Howard said he likes the name of that product. He said you know what it does based on the name.
Howard said he has never had a problem getting hard. He said when he was taking some medication he did have an issue. He said that he wasn't getting morning wood. He said he panicked when that didn't happen. He said it turned out it was the medication. He said he got off of that shit right away. Robin said the sad thing is that 35 year old men are having that problem. She said they're on medication at that age. Howard said he panicked when it happened to him.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Alex Jones who was on to talk about the Sandy Hook stuff. Fake Alex was talking about how this is going to happen to everyone and not just him. He said you need to support them and they need the money so buy InstaHard right now. Howard asked if he takes it himself. Fake Alex said that he takes about 8 or 9 a day which is one of the lower doses. Howard asked if he's chewing gum during the show. Alex said that he'll be honest with him and he does have some under his tongue. He said he had it in court too. He said that he will chew potato chips at the next trial. He said he doesn't care. He demonstrated what that will sound like.
Howard said he was reading that they turned his cell phone data over to the January 6th committee. He asked if there's anything on there that he's worried about. Alex said that he's not worried and they should be looking at Hillary's emails. He said if there's anything on there it was planted.
Howard said he has to move on. He let fake Alex get some plugs in for their InstaWet product for women. Alex said he has to get going and talk to his producers off the air. He did a parody of the Doctor Doom thing that happened to Howard earlier this year. Alex said he's going to be starring in Ant-Man. Howard wrapped up and did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said he loves this song. He said he thinks he likes when Sia sings it better. That or when Robin sings it. Fred played Robin singing the song too. Robin was laughing at her own version. Howard laughed at it too. He had the guys turn off the song so Robin could sing. The did that and Fred played Robin singing it a cappella. Howard said Sia wrote that song in 14 minutes at Rihanna's studio. He said Rihanna loved it so much that she did it the same way Sia did it. He said it's a great song. Howard said people think she wrote it in 14 minutes but it's all the years of performing and writing that got her to that point where she can do that.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake William Shatner who was singing ''Diamonds'' in his own unique way.
Howard said that reminds him of doing ''Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.'' Bill said he loves shiny objects and loves singing about diamonds. He said he could do any song.
Howard thanked Fake Bill for making a prank call for them. He said he made a call. He said a few months ago they called into a religious radio show and Richard claimed to be a record producer trying to sign the host to a record deal. He played that call where they put the nutty hosts speaking in tongues to music.
Howard said the show was pranked again by Mr. Shatner and he spoke to the same ladies. He said he was able to fool them. He played the call that fake Bill made to the show. In the call he talked to the hosts about their praying in tongues. Bill showed them how he'd do it by slowing himself down like he does in his songs. He said he'd like them to start their own band. He had some of their speaking in tongues put to music. The hosts seemed to like what they heard. Then Bill said he's Satan and they started speaking in tongues again. Bill said it's working and pretended that they took him out. They were crying and speaking in tongues.
Howard said he's not sure how that show isn't more popular. He said Satan has a lot of time on his hands. He said that they defeated Bill and really put up a fight. Bill said it was one of his greatest roles. He said he hopes some day he can do a call from outer space.
Robin asked if the have anywhere in their lives they can defeat someone with their talking. Howard said that lady said that she did defeat him. Bill said the devil always comes back. Howard thanked Bill for the song and for the new prank call. Howard let Bill go after that.
Howard read through more of the feedback about his dad. Robin asked if his mother talked about that. Howard said he did tell her about talking about dad on the air. He said she asked what he said. Howard said he didn't get into everything he talked about. He said he wants to keep her calm. He said that his mom seems confused about what he does for a living. He said he told her about talking about his dad and how he was in the union. He did his impression of her talking about how Ben needed work and he joined the union to find a job. He said his mother told him that he became a radio engineer because of that. Howard said he didn't know that.
Howard said his mother asked where he works. He said she asked about where the station is and where they broadcast from. Howard had her talking to him about all of that. Howard said he told her he's on satellite and it's in New York. He had her all confused about where it's located. Howard said she can't quite figure it out. He said maybe that's because he's working out of the house.
Howard said she kept asking where it's from. He said he doesn't know what the confusion was.
Howard read more feedback about his dad. He said he has more of his father singing. He said this is him singing ''Old Man River.'' He said he played this when he did the funeral. He said his kids and sister enjoyed his stories about his dad. He said he spoke about how he wishes he could have been closer to him. He said he did a whole thing. He said he played stuff like this. He played Ben singing ''Old Man River.''
Howard said he doesn't know why his father liked this song so much. He said it was a slave song. He said it was from Porgy and Bess or something. Robin said she's not sure where it comes from. Jon Hein said it's from Showboat. Howard said he's not sure why his dad was into that song.
Howard said he's not sure why his dad sang it the way he did. He said this is his dad singing in a sweet way. He played ''The Bear went over the Mountain'' for him but the guys had messed with it and turned it into an EDM song. Howard played it anyway.
Howard said there was a lot of Wack Pack reaction to his father's death. He said High Pitch Erik left him a whole message. He said he zoned out listening to it last night. He played some of the message and Erik said Ben will always look down on Howard. Howard said that's for sure. Erik was going on and on about Ben and how his mom has to be more alert now and he has to take care of her. He said he has to feed her right and not give her McDonald's and stuff because that's unhealthy. Erik said that stuff is bad for you. Robin said she thinks he's on a new diet and he's not eating that stuff. Howard said his mother isn't eating anything so anything she eats is a good thing.
Howard said speaking of weight loss he has to mention that Benjy lost a lot of weight and he may be too skinny now. Howard said someone said that he was too thin. He had him get on camera. Robin gasped when she saw him. Howard said he wants to see him stand up. Benjy stood up and showed his body. He said he was up to 270 at one point but now he's down around what he was at the start of the summer. He said he's between 167 and 170 pounds. He said he started working out so maybe that's why he looks different. Howard said he looks good.
Howard asked Benjy what he started doing. Benjy said he's counting calories. He said he can start to binge if he doesn't count. He said he started doing the treadmill and walks on that. He said he does 30-45 minutes on the treadmill 2 days on and 1 day off. He said he does other stuff too. He said he walks his dog too. He said he's lifting some weights too.
Howard asked Benjy if he thinks he will gain it back. Benjy said he has a bad day and he can eat. He said he can see how that would add up. Howard asked if he has hanging skin. Benjy said he does. He refused to show him. Benjy said he showed a friend what it looked like and he looked like he was going to vomit. Howard asked if he has big saggy titties and belly fat. Benjy said he has sag and wrinkles. He said he hopes it will go away.
Howard asked if he's getting laid now. He said he knows he was doing rape fantasies with women and they'd chase him away. Benjy said he is feeling better and he has new clothes. He said that's all going better now. Robin asked if he has had some successful dates. Benjy said he has been dating. He said he doesn't want to get into it too much. Howard said he should put a ring on it quickly.
Howard said Benjy worked for an escort service and he never got a call. He said he was an escort. He said he never got a call. Benjy said they hired him and he never got a call. Howard asked if he has updated his photo on the dating apps. Benjy said he's not really doing the apps right now.
Howard said Jon Blitt said he thinks Benjy has been wearing the same shirt since Friday. He said it's Wednesday now. He said that's 6 days ago. Benjy just laughed.
Howard said they're calling Benjy ''Benjy Clooney'' now because of his new look. Howard asked how long he's been dating this person. Benjy said they met right before summer break. He said he has been exclusive with this person. Howard asked if he's excited for the potential for this. Benjy said he has been having a hard time mentally so he's taking it slow. He said he went through an extreme depression over the past couple of months so he started working out because of that. He said that's gotten better.
Robin asked if he found a new therapist. Benjy said he did. He said he hasn't gotten a crush on him so he's stuck with him. Howard asked if he was crying about something in particular or was it a general thing. Benjy said it was about death and how it's coming and that's scary to him. Howard said he thinks he'll be fine if he looks at what's going on in Ukraine right now. He asked if he has suicidal thoughts. Benjy said he does not. He said he understands why people do but he has never had that.
Howard asked if Benjy is in love. Benjy said he doesn't want to get into that. He said he's developing something with this person. Howard said what he thinks he's saying is that something is happening but he's not sure if it's love yet. Benjy said they have very fond feelings for each other. Howard asked if this woman is around his age or younger. Benjy said that's one thing that sucks. He said the older woman fantasy was great when he was younger but now those women are around 100. He said this woman is significantly younger. He said he thinks about the Ronnie stuff now. He said it is kind of scary. He said age isn't a thing for him but he thinks about that. Howard asked if she is a fan of the show or not. Benjy said he doesn't think she listens to the show now but she used to. He said she was excited that he worked on the show.
Howard said he thinks he's had enough of Benjy now. He summed up what they just learned.
Howard said he assumes he took his shirt off for this woman. Benjy said he has not. He said he tries to keep it on. Howard asked if she has seen him without a cap on. Benjy said he did take it off for her and she said he should put it back on. He said now she likes it and she tries to get him to take it off. He said she wants him to shave his head bald. Howard said he agrees. He said he looks nice and thin now. He said he has a good shape. He said now he has the beard and he should shave his head. He said he'll look good. Benjy said he is going to therapy without his cap on.
Howard asked if he's thrown out his fat clothes. Benjy said he's bad at throwing things out. He said he knows he should but he can't. Howard said he should throw them out. He said look at Benjy pulling himself together. Howard thanked him for the update.
Howard asked if Benjy is feeling happier now. Benjy said he is happy right now but he has a lot of unhappiness in his life. Robin said that's a typical Benjy answer.
Howard said Benjy is blossoming now. He said he's their new Pete Davidson. He said you don't know if you want to date him but then you give it a try and like it. He thanked Benjy again for the update. He said his dick must look bigger now that he's thin. Benjy said it does have more hang to it now.
Howard asked if Benjy needs dick pills. Benjy said that he doesn't but he has had issues with the condom thing. He said there's a lot of pressure there. Howard cut him off and moved on. Howard and Robin thanked Benjy again and Robin said that's a first.
Howard said he got a lot of condolences. He said they played the High Pitch Erik ting. He took a call from Erik who said he was just looking out of his mom with he food thing. Howard said Erik is obese and he is eating all the wrong foods. He said his mother doesn't eat much so anything she eats is good. He said that she's also 94 years old so eat whatever you want. He said it's not going to make much of a difference. Howard said Erik is the one who should be cutting back on the junk food. Erik said he hasn't had McDonald's in months.
Erik said during the summer Gonzo ratted him out. He said he was supposed to have surgery in July. He said he had spine surgery. He said he had to go for testing. He said the called him in July and he tested positive for COVID. He said he went crazy with home test kits. He said they all came out negative. He said he may have had a false positive. Howard said he doesn't want to get into the weeds with this. He said he's thinking he had it and the home tests were done wrong. He said he really has to go.
Sal said there's more to this story. He said Erik took the test and he was positive at the hospital. He said at that moment Erik wanted to go out based on the home test. He said Erik was going to go out and he didn't want to take the PCR test. Howard said he could have spread this to other people. Erik said he didn't go out. He said he stayed home. Sal said bullshit. He said he said that day he was going out to get cigars at the cigar shop. He said Erik refused to tell them that he tested positive. Howard said he could kill someone by going out like that. Erik said he doesn't think about that. Erik said he's fully vaccinated. Howard asked if anything ever crosses his mind. Erik said it does. He said the whole COVID thing does. He said he's not sure how the home tests are negative but the other test was positive.
Howard said he's not allowing him to be on the Drew Barrymore dating game. He said that they're trying to find her a real date. Erik said he has the hots for her. Howard said Erik is very selfish and he can't let him be in this thing. He said Erik isn't the right guy for her. Erik said she's very perking and petite. Robin said she's everything Erik is not. Erik said he thinks he could have a great date with her.
Howard said he has the owner of the cigar shop on the phone. The fake owner said that Erik got his wife sick and his two kids are sick from the COVID thing.
Erik said that Gonzo ratted him out on this. He said Howard is like a dad to him. Robin said that's just great. Howard said he's getting his balls removed then. Howard let Erik go after that.
Howard said Wendy the Slow Adult did a moment of silence for his dad. Howard played a clip of Wendy doing her internet show and had everyone on her show to shut up so they could do a moment of silence for Ben Stern. Howard said that sounds like a good show.
Howard said he has to play a message from Bobo. He said it sounds like Bobo was reading it. Howard played the clip and it was obvious that Bobo was reading his statement.
Howard said that reminded him of the scene from The Godfather where Luca Brasi reads his statement. He played a clip of that and compared it to Bobo's condolence message. Fred played The Godfather music along with that.
Howard did his impression of Bobo reading his message. Howard thanked him as if he were the Godfather and Bobo was his most valued caller. Fred did his Bobo Puppet thing and read a message.
Howard played a local news report about Ben Stern passing away. The station was in Texas. The person reading the story read it about as well as Bobo reading his message. She went from that story into a Loch Ness Monster story.
Howard said there was a web site that reported his dad's death and put up a picture of the wrong person and said he was born in Poland and was sent to a Nazi prison camp in World War II. He said they had it all wrong.
Howard said some listener wrote to him about his dad's union pin. He said that pin is almost unobtainable and he should hold on to it. He said he has the certificate and the pin. Robin said that's great authentication for the pin and how he got it. Howard said he was going to throw it out. He said it says he was in the union for 75 years. Robin said they may have him in the hall of fame for being in there so long. Howard said his dad kept so few things and the fact that he saved it shows it must have been important to him. Robin said maybe they should go on Antiques Road Show and see if it has any value. Howard said he can give her the answer to that.
Howard said he was talking to his daughter about this stuff and she told him she would want it. He said he may give it to her and the kids and nieces. He said he's going to keep the wooden box that he kept his shit in. Robin said it would be great if he had his pens. Howard said he wishes he did too.
Howard said he's going to keep his dad's glass eye. He said that Beth wants him to throw it in the ocean. Robin said just bury it at the track. Howard said now she's just being funny.
Howard said someone wrote in about a story in Variety about his dad's passing. He said a fan wrote that article. Howard said his father passed away and the producers of The Bachelorette called to get his mom on. Howard played a fake promo they made using his mom's voice.
Howard said he feels so empty inside that he'd like a step father in his life. He said he guarantees the fantasy suite would be very steamy. He said that she hasn't had it in a long time so they're going to get busy in here. Howard did his impression of his mother talking about how well this new guy fucked her in the fantasy suite. She said she squirted all over the floor in there. Howard had her saying she ate out this new guy's asshole and he must use Loomy back there.
Howard had his mom talking about how she did her first titty fuck with that guy. She said Ben never did that with her.
Howard said a lot of people are excited about him being Doctor Doom. He read through some feedback about that.
Howard said some fans don't believe that he's going to be playing Doctor Doom. He read some of those comments. Some people think that story is completely made up.
Howard said some people liked when Robin was on the Summer School special with Gary and Rahsaan. He read a few comments about that.
Howard said Fred was on Summer School as well. Robin said she knew that. Howard said the fans liked what they heard from Fred about his sound effects work and the things he talked about in that show.
Howard said JD and Ronnie were out in L.A. and they were on Summer School with Fred Armisen, Ike Barinholtz and Andy Richter. He read some feedback about that show. He had a lot of positive feedback about all of that. He played some audio of Fred Armisen talking about how great it is to meet JD because it comes up a lot with people out there.
Howard said they ran a Journey concert special and he has to thank the band for doing that. He read some feedback about that. He said that Neal Schon talked about meeting him back in Detroit. He said he's been a fan of Howard's for a long time as well.
Howard said he was happy to meet Neal back in the day but not so much Steve Perry. He said that he was doing his job on a Saturday and he remembers walking into this house in Detroit and the other DJ was doing an interview with Steve Perry and Journey. He said he was walking around quietly and Steve commented on the new DJ who looked like Big Bird. He said Steve is a short and tiny little fucker. He said he must have been jealous of his height and hair. He said he started him off on the air saying he looked like Big Bird. Howard said Steve had it all going on but he had to introduce him to the audience as Big Bird. He said he looked over at this little fuck and thought what a cunt he was. He said he looks like a special-ed mouse. He said the had to prop him up in his chair with a yellow pages book. He said they didn't even have a booster seat. He said he looked like a rat with a wig at the time.
Howard said the day that Neal is talking about is a day when he was back stage at a concert and Steve came out of his trailer with a girl and walked right past him. He said Neal said hello and thanked him for introducing them. He said that he was just wishing that they would some day replace this little fuck Steve Perry with someone else. He said the did their concert for their channel and here's what that sounded like. He played a clip of them performing ''Wheel In the Sky.''
Howard took a call from fake Steve Perry who goofed on Howard's looks. Howard said if you want to hear a real singer then listen to this Arnel Pineda. Howard let fake Steve go pretty quick.
Howard said on Monday they have Rosie O'Donnell coming in. He said they also went out on the street and interviewed people about him running for President. He said he had Bradley Cooper over to talk about their run. He said they had a serious conversation about all of that. He said they sat down and talked quite a while about policy. Howard said he'll wait until Monday to get into the interviews they did on the street.
Howard said they landed on a name for Secretary of State. He said they came up with George Clooney. Robin said it'll be like a Murderer's Row of men. Howard said he turns women off so he has to get these other guys. He said Brad Pitt's name was brought up too. He said he'll get to a lot of that on Monday. Howard mentioned a few other names that came up for his cabinet.
Howard said speaking of hot people Trump hired a lot of lawyers for this search and he got all hot chicks. He said he had all hot chicks and Rudy Guiliani. Robin said she didn't see that. She said she was avoiding the news.
Howard said he finds it odd when a lawyer is hot. He said that you'd think that they'd think that was a waste of their time getting into law. Howard said he was surprised that OJ Simpson came out against the FBI search. He said that he must be upset about them searching his stuff.
Howard played a clip of OJ talking about how his house was searched by the FBI. Howard explained that story and how OJ was allegedly stealing satellite TV and he had to pay a fine after they found that. Howard said OJ has some balls with that Twitter feed. He said he's talking about how he's a single dad and he has to get the kids ready for school. Howard played more audio of OJ going on and on about the FBI search.
Howard said from what he read today they may have found nuclear secrets in Mar-A-Lago. He said that OJ could be wrong about saying the FBI can be wrong sometimes.
Howard said he's reading about this OJ thing and how they searched his house for stealing TV. He said they should get him on something already. He said this guy should be in jail. Robin asked why OJ is stealing cable. Howard asked if this article is real. He said no one is answering him. He said the must have gone home. Jason said this is a real story and it was checked out. He said OJ was fined but he was no mastermind when it came to this illegal cable box he had.
Howard said the FBI is so great. He said all of this bullshit about the FBI being corrupt is just wrong. He said he's not sure what's going on with the republican party coming out against the FBI. He said Trump comes out against them and then everyone in the republican party comes out against them. Howard said they asked for these papers back and Trump refused to return them. He said he's not sure what's happening. He said they have this special master now. He said just charge the guy already. Howard and Robin spent a few minutes talking about that.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said Howard is right about the Trump lawyers all being hot. He said they're model hot. Howard said he even learned their names. Howard was going to play some audio but said you don't have to hear it. He said you should see them.
Howard said he has to call Ralph back. Ralph said it's okay, he doesn't have to call. He said he just wanted to catch up. Howard said he has no time. He let Ralph go and wrapped up the show. He said he's tired and has to go. He said they put on a hell of a show today. He said you can write in and tell them how good it was. He said anything else forget about it. The ended the show around 10:40am.