Howard said that's the kind of guy who he almost didn't get into radio because of. He said he didn't have a voice like that so he didn't know that he'd be allowed to do what he wanted. He said didn't think he had that voice and he had a thick New York accent. He said people wondered what he was doing on the radio. He said he had to introduce songs and he had this awful voice. He said he didn't know how he was going to be successful. He said guys like this were scary to him.
Howard said listen to this guy. He played some audio from the Super Bowl where he was announcing H.E.R. He said he'd laugh at the guy and Beth would ask why he was laughing. He said he told her that it was the voice. He asked who talks like that. He said he thinks that guy's name is Alan Roach.
Howard said he knows a lot of people were upset with him when he started out in radio because he fucked everything up with the big voice announcers. He said he thinks it was Dan Ingram who said he fucked everything up. He said he was a guy on WABC radio who had one of those voices and no content. He said Alan was on the show 2 years ago after the Super Bowl.
Howard said that people got pissed at him because of that voice thing. He said the guys who had shitty voices but had content were with him. He said that the guys with the deep voices were like fuck this. He did his impression of the guy announcing H.E.R. Robin wondered if that stands for something. Howard said no. He said he thinks they'd know if it did.
Howard said he saw H.E.R. on Saturday Night Live and he thought she was really good. He said he likes H.E.R. when he sees H.E.R.. He said he thought she was really good at the Super Bowl. He played some of her performance.
Howard said Robin has to work in some of that way of singing in her performances. Robin said she'll have to do that. Howard said don't over do it but try it out.
Howard said he knows that Robin doesn't like being directed in her singing but he can see her doing some of those things. He demonstrated how he wants her to try it next time. Robin said that's a very church style of singing. Robin said she used to cover Aretha's kind of singing so she'll try that.
Howard said that H.E.R.'s real name is Gabby Wilson. He said she's very talented. He said that the musical runs are called a melisma. That's how he wants Robin to perform her songs.
Howard played more of Alan Roach's announcements from the game. Robin said he put an extra syllable in the word church. Howard did his impression of Alan and stretched out words like church. Robin wondered if he falls into a chair after doing one of those things because they're so effort full. Howard said he has giant testicles. He had him ringing the Liberty Bell with his giant balls.
Howard said he wishes he has his deep voice thing to do some stuff. He said he thought H.E.R. was really good and he just read that The Weeknd spent $7 million of his own money to do what he did. He said he's not sure why he'd do that. He said he doesn't believe that. Robin said she thinks it's being reported in several places. Howard said the NFL makes a ton of money so he should have had them put up the money for production. He said he's calling bullshit on that 7 million. Robin said she's not sure he's even made that much. Howard said they don't know that he's worth that much. He said he's never even heard of that guy until he saw him show up with the bandages on his face. Robin said he sang one song twice during that show. She said he doesn't have a lot of hits.
Howard said he didn't recognize more than one song in that performance. He said he didn't seem to be his cup of tea. He said he's not sure what his statement is with those bandages. Robin said she's not sure either. Howard asked if anyone knows the reason. No one was answering.
Howard said he's not sure what was going on there. He said that he doesn't need to look that up. He said he's not that invested in it. He said maybe it's a statement on plastic surgery. He said it's definitely creepy. He said maybe it was about the coach who hit the student in the accident. Robin said he did it months ago so it must not be that. Howard said The Weeknd's real name is Able Tesfaye.
Howard played more clips of Alan Roach making announcements at the Super Bowl pre show. Howard said they should see how long he can make a word. He said a good announcer voice was Brad Pitt. He said he did one commercial and he sounded like a deep voice guy. Robin said she didn't notice that. Howard said that's because they didn't show him.
Howard said they did that hologram thing and he thought it was supposed to be Vince Lonbardi but he looked like a black guy. He said he looked like Tan Mom. Robin said she did look like Tan Mom but also Dick Tracy in that trench coat. Howard said the guy wasn't black so he's not sure what they were going for there.
Howard said he has the reason for The Weeknd wearing bandages. He said it was about people changing their identity in Hollywood. He said that he does the same thing though. Howard said maybe he hates what he's become. Robin said that's a shame. She said she didn't know it was so horrible.
Howard said he has some thoughts on the Super Bowl. He said it was the first game he watched all season. Robin said her too. She said that she knew nothing of the season at all. Howard said they saw the ending and they didn't really miss a thing. He said he's not sure how people have so little to do that they can watch an entire weekend of football. He said the games are 4 hours long and he's not sure how people can do that. He said it seems like a colossal waste of time. He said he'd rather go out and walk. He said he wants to be doing something where he's learning. He said it seems like a huge investment in time. Robin said the people who are really into it learn different plays and signals and stuff. Howard said he can do the same thing after watching one game.
Robin said she loves it when she sees a great play and says that to herself. Then the announcers say the same thing. She said that's their job. Howard said he loves those guys. He said he'd have no idea what was going on without them.
Howard said on the radio broadcast they called the streaker play. He said they cut away from it on the TV coverage. He had some audio from a radio broadcast where they called every second of it. He played some audio from that broadcast.
Howard said in the middle of a pandemic the guy was out there. Robin said he was mask less too. She said he was endangering people's lives. SHE said he could have hurt people out there playing. Howard said he was surprised that the announcer didn't get into trouble for telling the guy to pull up his pants and take off his bra and be a man.
Howard said he watched a great videos yesterday. He said it was about Caitlyn Jenner getting excited about her daughter doing her makeup. He said Caitlyn was all excited about that. He said that Kylie did a whole make up thing on her. He said he loved it. He said that it was like 15 minutes long and he watched it all. He said Beth couldn't believe he was watching it at breakfast. He said she had to come over at the end of it.
Howard said they say that Kylie is worth like $700 million. Robin said she used to be a billionaire so that's come down a bit. Howard said Caitlyn was talking about how she thought it was ridiculous that she was going to have her own makeup company. He said now she does and she's blown away.
Howard said Google that video. He said he thought it was fabulous. Robin asked how it was. Howard said he didn't think it was that good. He said he wanted Caitlyn to look femme at the end but it wasn't glammed up enough. He said it was interesting with the voice that goes from high to low.
Howard said he felt bad for Jon Hein because he had the under on the length of the National Anthem. He said this country guy came out and did his thing and he must have known he was fucked when he heard that. He said they were dragging it out. He said Jon knew he was screwed from the start. He said that he dropped a big amount on that. Howard played some audio from that performance. Jon got on and said he knew he was screwed from the start. Jon said it was a bad night for him and for Will and other people. He said he even missed the coin toss. Robin said those bets are so dumb. Jon said 7 of the 8 past Super Bowls have come up tails. He said not last night though. He said this National Anthem went on for 2 minutes and 16 seconds. He said you can't get upset about that though.
Howard said he has a theory that America is so divided that they did this slow. He said they're dragging it out to bring everyone together. Jon said they did mix it up with a country singer and an R&B singer. Howard said they did drag it out. Jon said they were on a schedule and you'd think they'd speed it up.
Howard said they couldn't have made that song any longer. Jon said that there was so much more game to play and things to lose money on. Howard jokingly said Jon bet $100,000 on that. Jon went over some of his other bets and said it was bad game for him. He lost a lot of bets.
Howard asked why he bet that Tom Brady would be MVP. Jon said he hedged that one. He said you can't bet against Tom Brady. Robin said she was with him all the way. Howard said he had no money in the game. He said he doest like betting. He said he works too hard for his money. He said he'd be too upset if he lost. He said that it disturbs him. He said that he used to play in Atlantic City and that was just a little bit. He said it drives him crazy to lose and he doesn't enjoy it.
Robin said there are some people who can't watch the game without betting. Howard said that's another whole thing. He said that's a psychological thing. He said he doesn't like losing money gambling. Jon asked if he used to play poker. Howard said that he used to play poker and stuff with the guys but that was a social thing. He said that they had a lot of guys who would get together to play. He said Ralph used to play. He said that Ralph would go into the room and take a bath in the tub in the room because it was so nice. He said you wondered what the fuck was going on there.
Howard said Ralph isn't allowed to come to his house anymore. He said that Jason used to have a poker game and he had to ban Ralph from his house too. He asked Jason what was up with that. Jason said he was belligerent. He said he was also very shady with the cards and he'd hold them under the table and come up with incredible hands and stuff. Howard said he's not a cheater. Jason said he doesn't think he is but he did some shady stuff. He said that you didn't trust what was going on there. Jason said that he's allowed to come over solo but not around friends.
Howard said he was texting with Ralph during the Super Bowl. He said he thought the best one was the Adam Levine and Gwen Stefani commercial. He said he thought it was very well written. He said the phone connection was so bad that she ended up with Blake Shelton. Robin said she loved seeing John Travolta dancing with his daughter. Howard said he missed that one. He said he would have liked to have seen that.
Howard said he thought that it was interesting that they chose Adam to do that commercial since he's not on The voice anymore. He said that he hasn't been on it for 2 years. Robin said they couldn't have used anyone else in it. Howard said it shows how closely he's associated with that show.
Howard said he wonders about how they get some of the celebrities on those commercials. He said that they may go to them and try to get them because they're not very successful now. Robin asked if he was talking about Jason Alexander. Howard said not at all. He said he didn't see that one. Jon said there are a lot of shows that are streaming now so they have a lot of power.
Howard said both Sal and Gary told him that the commercial with the girl with no legs was very powerful. He said that Gary and Sal were thinking they were playing with your emotions to sell a Toyota. He said he's not sure if that's wrong. Robin said no. Gary said it pissed him off. Sal said he felt the same. Gary said he felt manipulated by that.
Robin said that Bruce Springsteen telling everyone to be on common ground was good? Howard said he didn't get that either. He said that he's not sure why he was wearing a cowboy hat. He said he's from Jersey. Howard said he thinks that Bruce wants to be from anywhere but from Jersey. He said that commercial didn't come off so great to him. He said he didn't know about this legless girl before he saw her on that Toyota commercial. Robin said all of the other Olympic stars can sell stuff.
Howard said he heard that Sal played online poker the whole game. Sal said he did. He said that he was watching the game but he enjoys playing online poker and it helped the game go by quicker. He said he lost $100. Howard said you never win playing that online. Robin said she loves the online gambling ads. She said they give you a small amount and you lose it and then lose your own money.
Gary said they had that Draft Kings commercial where they said it wasn't too late to bet on the game. Robin said that they had a commercial where you could bet on something and win a million bucks. Howard said that must be what Ralph was texting him about.
Howard said that Tom Brady story is the best ever. He said he was playing for New England and he leaves the team after being cast out. He said Bill Belichick gets the credit for all of these wins but then Tom goes on to bring Tampa Bay to the Super Bowl. He said he knows that feeling because he was the same way with program directors. He said they couldn't believe that he'd get the credit when they got high ratings. He said Tom Brady has won all of these Super Bowls and he goes ahead and moves to Tampa Bay. He said they weren't a great team. Gary said they were terrible. Howard said he never went to a good station and he'd go to these shitty stations and bring them up. He said he went to the satellite company that was just about out of business and brought them up. He said Sirius bought out XM and XM was the leader. He said if he had anything to do with that then it makes him happy. He said the guy who must be upset today is Bob Kraft. Robin said that's funny because here was no Bob Kraft at the game yesterday.
Howard said they probably should have gotten rid of Bill instead of Tom. He said that Bob Kraft stuck with Belichick and Brady goes off to Tampa and they must have been laughing at him. Robin said they looked like they were right at the beginning but at the end it's a different story.
Howard said Ralph wrote him that he was rooting for Brady too. He said he didn't want Richard an Mahomes to win. Sal said people were texting him like there was a death in the family. Howard asked how long Richard has been on paternity leave. He asked when that happened. Sal said it's like 8 months. Howard said you know he's not helping at all at home. Robin said he's probably in the way at home. Sal said he'd be in his basement and working if he had two kids at home.
Howard asked what the hell is going on with that paternity leave thing. Robin said the kid was born around the holidays. Gary said it's been 2 months and he has another month. Howard said he missed like 2 days of work when he had kids. Gary said they say you can take 3 months in the first year. He said Richard could have come back today and taken off another month in October. Howard said that this job isn't that hard. He said he could have worked and still done the same amount at home. He said it's not that hard to work a couple of hours a day. He said what a racket that is. He said he might have to have a kid to get some paternity leave.
Howard said it would be great to see Richard today and how upset he is about the game. Gary said there are rules about this paternity leave and you can't ask about work. Howard said he doesn't get it. He said he missed a few days of work when he had kids but he didn't take this amount of time off. Robin said Richard is just like a child so he spends a lot of time with the kids. Sal said they both shit themselves. Gary said he's sure that the kid was crying the whole night after that game.
Howard said the best thing a dad can do is work and make money for the family. He said the bottom line is that Robin had a severe kind of cancer and she was on death's door. He said she missed like one day of work. He said it was through Chemo and radiation and she didn't miss more than one day of work. He said their jobs are pretty fun at the end of the day. He said they don't need to have paternity leave. He said that Robin would be nursing on the air if she had a kid. Gary said he'd sell tickets for that.
Howard said Robin had a tumor the size of Richard's kid and she didn't miss a day of work. Howard said he would love to see Richard crying over this Mahomes loss. Robin said we were all robbed.
Howard said he loves the Tom Brady story. He said he had to watch on a TV that was big enough. He said the TV room TV is too small. He said that he's not sure wheat's going on but he has to see a big screen. Robin said she has binoculars that she has to use. She said she can't see her TV. She said there are things that are going on that she doesn't know about. Howard said she has to stop watching TV. He said she's like a peeping Tom. Howard said he has to have Beth read stuff from the screen to him. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said they had just one camera there and he kind of dug that. He said he didn't have a camera man showing what he wanted. He said the camera was stationary. He said he watched the whole hour and there wasn't one slow moment in this thing. He said that's how good it was. He said they did that song ''The Sky is a Neighborhood'' and ''Shame.''
Howard asked Gary if he saw the concert. Gary said he did. Howard said they're going to be on the show this week. Gary said they'll be on Wednesday. He said they were supposed to do 10 songs that night and they did like 3 more than they were supposed to.
Howard said he had an emotional response to watching this thing. He said he's watching these incredible super stars doing this concert for SiriusXM. He said 15 years ago they came there and they had 3 or 400,000 subscribers. He said they weren't doing well and it looked really bad for Sirius. He said that they weren't doing great. He said XM was so arrogant about that. He said the wanted to hire him to work there but then he met with Scott Greenstein and some others there. He said they were telling him he had to come there and they were so great that he thought they were the right guys to work with. He said that they came there and then they took over XM. He said XM lost and they won. He said all of that arrogance is gone. He said now he's watching the Foo Fighters doing their own show on their own channel here. He said they have this channel on this great service. He said subscriptions are growing and it's great. He said he was just so happy to be a part of it. He said he had this great sense of pride. Howard said the Foo Fighters channel is on 105.
Howard said he was so excited that they're still there 15 years later and the Foo Fighters are using their medium to get their music out there. He said he loved it.
Robin said they keep the lights on there. She said that everyone thinks they can go off and they'll hold down their jobs for them. Howard said that's like Jackie when he'd go off and have his contract negotiations.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he disagrees with him about Tom Brady who didn't go off to a terrible team. He said they had a lot of talent there in Tampa but they needed someone to manage them. Howard said it's still remarkable what they did. He said you can't dismiss the story about Tom Brady. He said that he's been through stuff like that in his career. He said that Tom ended up in the Super Bowl after moving to a team that wasn't very good. Robin said he had this system up in New England and you don't know if it'll work with another team. The caller said he chose to leave New England. Howard said he thinks that if they wanted him they would have had him. Howard said he just likes the Tom Brady story.
Howard said he was rooting for Tom. He said he did their show too so that's another thing. Robin said she was rooting for him too. Howard said the guy is remarkably good looking too. He said women just swoon over him. He said he'd get tons of pussy either way. The caller said he doesn't need another championship. Howard said it's too amazing of a story. He said that this stuff just doesn't happen. He said he loves that Peyton Manning looks like a slow adult. Robin said he does look funny. Howard said he looks a little off. He said you want to be Tom Brady. He said it's a Hollywood movie. Robin said even his voice fits and he sounds good.
Jon Hein gave his thoughts on the whole Tom Brady thing and how he didn't want to stay in New England he said Tampa was okay but not great but he's the only guy who can will his team to win. He said he's in complete control of that team. He said the guy is a flat out winner and that's what people are envious of. He said he's 43 now.
Robin said she read that he texted the team that they were going to win this game and that was it. Howard said the whole story is amazing. He said he's not sure how you can't get caught up in it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks he's off base giving Richard a hard time. He said that he and Robin may be a touch higher than Richard as far as money. Howard said he's doing shtick on the show. He said when he didn't take his paternity leave he was making $40,000 a year. He said he was in worse shape than Richard. He said that he wasn't making a lot of money back when he had is first child. The caller said he's letting them get away with a lot. Howard said he doesn't really care if Richard takes paternity leave. He said he gets a break from seeing his asshole. Howard said he has to take a break. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that's The Prodigy with ''Breathe.'' He asked Beth what was going on. Beth said that she wanted to take a picture of him at work with his Helen Rose shirt on. Howard had to pose for her. Beth said she wants to take one for her Instagram. He said his angle will be fucked up if he moves. Howard said he has to get a hair cut. Beth said she's going to take a bunch of shots.
Howard asked if he can talk about the company that's doing all of this fucked up stuff. Beth said she's in the middle of a law suit so maybe not. Howard said he will talk about it some day.
Beth was going to leave but Howard told her to plug the shirts. Beth said Howard is wearing the Helen Rose shirt that's available at BethsFurryFriends.com. Howard asked her to crop his face out of that picture. He said he hates that. He said he asks her to do that all the time. He said she thinks she looks terrible but he tells her she looks good. He said she thinks she doesn't look good. Howard said if she doesn't look good then how can he look good. Howard said he looks so bad in his pictures. He said he was thinking he needs the bandages like The Weeknd.
Howard told Beth that's a terrible picture. He said he has to work now though. He said she fell asleep during the Super Bowl. Beth said she did not. She said she fell asleep at the last minute. Howard told her to talk into the microphone. Beth asked if he told the story about there fixing the TV and all of that. Howard said they decide to watch the game. Beth took more pictures. Howard said he hates that. She said this is the best ever. Howard said that's the worst shot of him ever. He said she married an ugly guy. He said she knows he looks terrible. Howard said he doesn't want her posting that. He said he looks so bad. He said he hit the wall and then hit it again and again and again.
Howard asked Beth to talk into the microphone again. He said that these pictures are the worst ever. Robin said maybe he should trust her to put up good shots. Beth said she's going to send this to Robin. Howard said don't. He said these are the worst pictures of him ever. He said he painted the picture of Helen Rose and that should be enough. Beth said that's right, it's his painting on the shirt. Howard said he doesn't look human in this picture. He said he should wear a mask since they're in a pandemic. Beth asked about this one. Howard said that's not a good one either because it shows all of his stuff. Howard asked her to stand over there to take a shot. Beth tried again and again. Howard said she can't take a good one of him.
Howard said please leave him out of the pictures. He said he has enough attention on him. He said he'll do anything to help her cause but those pictures of him are so bad. He said he has a fog machine over there so maybe turn it on high and then take the picture. He said he's not a pretty boy. He said he's getting uglier by the minute. He said if he looked like Tom Brady he'd want his photo taken. Robin said she didn't marry Tom Brady. Beth asked why he cares other than what she thinks. Howard said he's not an Ostrostky. He said her whole family is good looking. Robin said Howard is a mess. Howard said Beth is doing fabulous things with Instagram. He said she's raising money and saving cats. He said they're stuck at home and she's looking at him to take pictures. Robin said he will only let her take shots of his hands or feet. Howard said people saw his hands recently and they thought he had the hands of a 20 year old. He said he loves those comments.
Hard said a lot of him looks good but a lot doesn't. He said part of that is his face. He said he doesn't want to be photographed. He said once in a while he'll take an okay shot if his hair is covering his face. He said you should see the out takes. He said it takes 1000 hours to get a good shot.
Howard said he had a system with Jason over at the old studio. He said that Jason would get up on a ladder and take a shot from above. He said he was in the same place on the couch every time. He said people thought that he was a cardboard cut out. Robin said he'd make the guest move if they were in his spot. Howard said he would. He said there was one time he wasn't in his spot. He said that's when Bono and The Edge were in. He said Bono wanted to take a shot of him with his head in his lap. He said he wanted to be in his spot. He said they did take that shot but it's never been seen because he wasn't in his spot.
Howard said Valerie Harper was in his spot and he had to wrestle her out of his spot. Robin said that he will move people around. Howard said he does have a spot. He sad he knows his angle and he has to be in that spot.
Robin said that this stupidity will pass. She said she heard George Harrison singing about how all things will pass. Howard said we need a normal government in place. He said that those people were morons who were backing Trump. He said they should start a state called the Moron state. He said all of the morons can move there. He said those people want to take over the country and want a dictator running the country. He said that it can be adjacent to Florida so the morons don't have to move too far. He said they can call it Moronistan.
Howard did his southern voice and talked about all of the stuff that the citizens of Moronistan might talk about. Howard said in Moronistan Donald Trump is still president. He said the election was stolen according to those morons.
Howard said he saw that the Trump administration was so not into this whole COVID thing that they needed N95 masks and they awarded this $35 million contract to a guy who claimed to be in the military but was never in it. He said the guy wasn't a war hero. He said they didn't vet anyone and they never got any masks. Robin said that's a third world country kind of thing. Howard did more of his Moronistan citizen talking about that.
Howard said he thought that Gwen Stefani commercial was the funniest one in the Super Bowl. Robin said she didn't get the Legends of Bud commercial. Gary said that they were people who were in the past commercials for Bud. Robin said they should have had notes about all of that. Howard said he doesn't want to have to work that hard for a commercial.
Howard said he heard that Gary watched all of the commercials before the game. Gary said he didn't want to miss anything so he saw them all before. Howard said just pause the game. Gary said he wanted to be live to the game.
Robin asked if he liked the Wayne's World commercial. Howard said he liked seeing those guys but it looked like Mike Meyers was wearing a mask. He asked if he's okay. Robin said he's just gotten older. Howard said he wasn't sure that was the guy from Wayne's World. He said Mike is a super talented guy. He said he wrote Austin Powers and Wayne's World. He said he should go back and watch Austin Powers. Robin said she liked the sequels.
Howard said the Wayne's World commercial just annoyed him. He said that he thinks Jimmy Kimmel got paid a ton of dough to do that commercial he was in. He said he was in that Matthew McConaughey commercial. He said Jimmy has a lot going on lately. He said he saw him on Bill Maher's show and he said he bought a house in Idaho. He said that's where he bought a second home. He said they say on the internet that he's worth 50 million. Robin said he knows they don't know what they're talking about on the internet. Robin said Jimmy has a lot going on.
Howard said he was talking about Hydrow and Jimmy said he owns it. He said he's like Kevin Hart. Robin said he really is. Howard said he's like Mr. Showbiz over there.
Howard said he's like Jimmy Bezos over there. Robin asked if he saw that Bezos is stepping down from CEO of Amazon. Howard said he saw that. Robin said now he has a girlfriend and he's busy with her. Howard said he's out on yachts now. He said now he's partying now that his wife is gone.
Howard said he liked the Gwen Stefani commercial and the Zytek commercial. He said some girl was lifting a guy on her back and he sneezed. He said he wasn't sure why he liked it but he did. He said he'd be terrible with advertising. He said that he'd be in a meeting and try to pitch a commercial like that and they'd just walk out. He said he liked the one for E-Trade too. He said this kid was lifting weights. He said he missed the chicks in bikinis kind of stuff. Robin said Doritos went with Matthew McConaughey instead of girls. Howard said the closest thing was Ashton Kutcher this time. Robins said it was the guy in the singlet running through the game. Howard said he wishes they'd show that stuff. He said he would have liked to have seen that guy get tackled.
Howard said he thought it was kind of odd that they had cardboard cut outs in the stands. He said that they have to remind people that there's a pandemic going on. Robin said at the end of the game everyone crowded around the area where they presented the trophy and that got crazy. Howard said everyone must be fearless about this virus. Robin said the more it travels the more it can mutate.
Howard said they were wearing masks during the game but the one guy wasn't covering his nose. Robin said that Tom Brady was around everyone and he had a ton of people there.
Howard said just to remind you over 87,000 people tested positive for Coronavirus and over 1300 died. Robin said they say that the numbers have been going down lately.
Howard had taken a call from Jim from Raleigh who was waiting quietly in the background as they talked about all of this stuff. Howard asked Jim what's up. Jim asked if he eve takes nudes of Beth. Howard said they did when they first started dating but there was less and less of that. He said they have stopped that. Jim asked if they ever took sex videos. Howard said they tried but his penis looks so disgusting on camera that he stopped that. He said that they just deleted that video. He said he remembers the scenario. He said he had Beth walk in and all you see is his cock. He said she comes in and he tells her to get over there. Jim asked if she was naked. Howard said she was. Howard said she was going to give him oral or something and it was just a disaster. He said they weren't able to watch it so they deleted it.
Howard said he and Beth agreed they just didn't want to do it. He said that it was a disaster. He said that he has to hand it to people who are professional porn actors. He said there is an art to it. He said it's insulting to think you can do stuff like that when you're not a professional. He said it's not that easy. He said he wishes he had a copy of this. He said he'd show it just to show had bad it was. He said it was bad.
Jim asked if Robin ever made one. Robin said she had a boyfriend who had a camera in the shower with them. She said she saw the camera on the sink and she told him that doesn't happen. Howard said he knows the guy and he was kind of annoying with the camera thing. He said that he had one with him a lot. He said he was glad when Robin gave him the heave ho.
Howard said before he did a sex video he discussed it with Beth. He said this guy just put the camera in the bathroom. He said that's rude. He asked who brings an expensive camera into the shower. Robin said it was sitting on the sink. She said it must have been really bad. Howard said that sounds like it would be against the law. Robin said that she asked for the tape because it was a cassette tape. She said she ripped it out and threw it away. Howard said good for you.
Jim said he would have liked to have seen that. Robin said ''Oh my...'' Jim asked if they would watch a Gary sex tape. Howard said of course. He said they watched that tape of his where he tried to get his girlfriend back.
Howard said it was shocking that Dustin died at 44. He said he had a huge lump on his neck and didn't go to the doctor because he was afraid the news would get out about him being sick and didn't go. He said he's not sure who was advising him about that. He said Dustin played the nerd on Saved by the Bell in the 90s. He said that he wasn't involved in the reboot of the show. He said that he had a book out about the cast of the show so maybe that's why he wasn't in it.
Howard said Dustin was always Screech in the shows he appeared in. He said he wasn't able to shake that character.
Howard had some audio of Dustin talking about playing Screech back in 2000. In the clip he said he loved playing that character and he'd keep doing it. Howard said he should embrace that character. Robin said he said the same thing about Napoleon Dynamite. He said he was right about that. He said he hasn't been in anything lately. He said he liked this kid Dustin. He said he said that character put food on his table.
Howard played another clip of Dustin talking about playing Screech. He said that he accused his parents of stealing his money so they got his dad on the show to talk about that. Howard played a clip where Dustin talked to his dad about what happened with his money.
Howard said Dustin was a good guest. He said he worked with a lot of hot girls on the show and Dustin said he didn't talk to that many girls on the show. He said in 2009 he put out a book where he trash talked his co-stars. He said Tiffani Thiessen was on the show and talked about that. He played a clip of her talking about Dustin.
Howard said Dustin did a porno in 2006 and he talked to Oprah about that. He had a clip from the porno where Dustin told some woman to take out ''the monster.''
Howard said that he told Dustin that he shouldn't talk so much in a porno. He said he doesn't like music in porn but not the guy talking to the girl so much. He said Dustin shouldn't have talked so much. He played more of Dustin's porno and said that was too much talking. Robins said he was the star. Howard said he over played his hand in that one.
Howard said Dustin came on the show and talked about his big dick. He played a clip of Dustin talking about his penis hitting the water when he sits on the toilet. Howard asked if he was like 12 inches. Dustin said he was more like 10 or 11.
Howard said George Takei was in the studio that day. He said he's sitting shiva today over the loss of that giant dick. He said if he had a penis that big he'd measure it every day. Howard said he's not sure how that guy had a big cock and he doesn't. He asked how that's fair.
Howard said Dustin did have troubles. He said he was sentenced to 14 months in jail after stabbing someone with a knife. He said that he was nice when he was on the show though. He said most people are. He said Dustin regretted a lot of things in his life and claimed that many of the stories in his book were ghost written and not true.
Howard played some audio of Leon telling them about his teeth being stolen from his hotel room. He said they were stolen while he was sleeping.
Robin said that's some story. She said that a maid doesn't come in while you're sleeping and steal your teeth.
Howard said one of the things he loved about Leon was that he had an unusual speech pattern and they had some fun with his audio clips. Howard played a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard had a guest on with Leon playing a social security expert. The guest didn't understand anything that Leon was saying.
Howard said a few years ago they had this movement to do Mumble Rap and they thought they'd have a huge hit using clips of Leon, JD and Asian Pete. He said they thought this was going to be huge. He said this is the song. He played a clip of the song ''Mumble in the Jungle.''
Howard said he asked Cloris if she ever banged Ted Kennedy. He said she said they were just friends. Robin said she would show up for a lot of parties even as an older woman. Howard said she went on Dancing with the Stars at 82.
Howard had some audio from an interview where she said that getting old sucks. She said that it's not the same as it used to be. She said she hopes Howard never gets to her age. Howard said now she's up in heaven making a porno with Screech.
Howard said he's going to quiz Robin on death. He asked her about people like Gavin MacLeod and if she thinks he's still alive. Robin said he has to be alive. Howard said he is. Howard asked about Ed Asner. Robin said he's alive. She was right. Howard asked Robin about a couple of others and Robin was getting them right.
Howard said that he has this song to play. He played Bonham's ''Wait For You'' for Robin and she asked if that's Led Zeppelin. Howard said it's Jason Bonham's band. He said that he put together this band called Bonham. He said this was a hit song for them. He said he's not sure what happened to them. Robin said she looked up who sang for them. Howard asked if she just looked it up. Robin said she heard the lead singer died. she said she can't remember who it was. Howard said it's Daniel MacMaster. He said he was just 39 years old when he died. He said he didn't know that he died but that was several years ago. He said he died in like 2008. Howard read about how this guy died of a group A streptococcal infection. He said that he was a truck driver at the time of his death. He said he wanted nothing to do with celebrity and went off to be a truck driver. Howard said that was a sad story.
Howard read more of the obituary and talked about how sad that story is. He said that guy passed on a lot of fame. Howard played more of the song.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to set the record straight on Tom Brady. He said that he constantly took less money to play for New England. He said he thinks if he felt love from Belichick he would have stayed there. Howard said he thinks that he should have finished his carer there but someone must have gotten the idea to get rid of him. Howard said that's why he was rooting for him. The caller said he can't think of a better guy to have that legacy.
The caller asked Howard what he thinks about John Stamos having his third exposure to the virus. Howard said he didn't know anything about that. The caller said that he must not be taking the proper precautions himself. Howard said he doesn't know anything about it. Robin said she runs from human beings when she sees them. Howard said she's all suited up right now. Robin said she's in her own bubble there.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if anyone reached out to him to do a commercial for the Super Bowl. Howard said he's such a character. He said he told this story the other day. He said he was asked to do a commercial once. Bobo said he wanted to know if he was asked again. Howard said no he wasn't.
Bobo said that game was such an embarrassment for the Chiefs. He said that they didn't score one touchdown at all. He said it was a crazy ass game. He said he's so happy for Tom Brady.
Howard said he sees that Bobo Puppet is trying to say something but the microphone isn't working.
Howard said he was supposed to be in a commercial with Tom Brady. He said they asked if he would be open to doing that. Howard said he said fuck yeah to that. He said he wanted to know what it paid. He said he doesn't remember how many years ago it was but it was a few. He said his agent told him to forget it. He said the premise was that it was for a product like Coca Cola and they were going to a new item and Tom represented the new and improved item and he represented this piece of shit old product. Howard said he was like the smelly disgusting monster and Tom was representing everything good. He said the new item had abs of steel and the old one had a flabby belly.
Robin asked if they ever did that commercial. Howard said he thinks that they talked to someone who saw that commercial but with two other people in it. Howard said it was just a bummer to him that he didn't get to do a Super Bowl commercial.
Howard said he thinks they did a commercial that was kind of funny that was going to air but didn't air. He said maybe it aired in theaters or something. He said he thinks they took out an ad. He said he didn't get paid to be in one though. He said they had to pay to get it on the air.
Robin said Snoop Dogg has changed his image over time. She said he's everywhere doing everything. She said he was hosting the Puppy Bowl. Howard said he loves when Snoop comes on the show and has JD smoking weed.
Howard said according to Jenny he could have had sex with her. He said that she seems very sexual. He said that he pictures her liking sex. He said he thinks about how he missed out on that. He said it could have happened maybe. He said she claims it could have. Howard said he imagines that it would have been amazing. He said the conditions would have had to have been perfect though. He said he just thinks that Jenny would have been an incredible experience in his life. Robin asked if he would be ruined over that. Howard said he would think she was crazy to fuck him. He said he has done nothing to deserve this and it's a complete fluke but he'd go with it. Howard said he'd feel horrible about himself having sex with her. He said that he'd ask who he is to have sex with her.
Howard said he would have a sheet over him while she was parading around. He said he'd leave his leg out because he has nice legs. Ronnie asked if he can imagine her naked. Howard asked Ronnie if he can. Ronnie said he'd see her coming in at Sirius and he'd say to one of the guys that he'd like to fuck her. Howard said she's one of those super hot chicks that makes you believe that she'd be into you. He said she makes it believable. He said that she makes it seem like it could happen. Ronnie said definitely.
Ronnie said there's a show called LA's Finest and there's one hot chick on there. He said that there's one girl who is hot that he can't remember the name of. Howard said he should put together a list of the top 10 hottest girls on TV. Ronnie said he can do that.
Howard said he missed out on Jillian Barberie too. He said that she claimed he could have had her too. He said she used to be on the local news in Los Angeles. Ronnie said she put up something yesterday where she looked really smokin' hot. He said it was a full size cut out of her.
Howard said he remembers Jillian showing up to the Stallone fight. Ronnie said it was back stage in Atlantic City at the Cabbie fight. Howard said he can't remember but she did say she would have sex with him. Howard said he was like ''What?... How dare you ruin my day like that.'' He said he thinks that would have been insane. Ronnie said she's another player. Howard asked what he means by that. Ronnie said he thinks she's up for anything. Howard talked to Ronnie Puppet about that stuff for a minute.
Robins said the girls that Ronnie was thinking about were Gabrielle Union and Jessica Alba on LA's Finest.
Howard took a call from Ralph and told him what they were talking about with him earlier. He told him that he was banned from Jason's house because he was kind of shady playing poker and things. Ralph said he was there once and Brent was being a real asshole so that's where that all came from.
Ralph told Howard that once he went to Atlantic City and trump had comp'd him a room and he had a hot tub in it. He said that they had a great time there. Howard said he remembers going down to play cards and Ralph stayed there to take a bath. He said he tells him he's straight but the guy wants to take a bath in the tub. He said you know he was jerking off in there. He said Trump was nice enough to give them the room and Ralph is in there jerking off. Ralph said he did tell him that. He said that he's glad he jerked off all over that tub now that he knows what he knows about Trump.
Howard and Ralph talked about the guy Robin dated who was trying to take video of her in the shower. Ralph said he didn't like that guy either.
Ralph said he was thinking about the hottest girl on TV and he was thinking Amy Robach. Howard said he thought he was going to say Hunter Schafer who is a trans actor. Howard said he thinks she's hot. Howard said he likes her. Robin said she is cute. Ralph said she's kind of wacky. He asked what her pronoun is. they said it's she and Ralph said she can't be a she if she has balls and a cock.
Ronnie asked if Howard watches Prodigal Son. Howard said not anymore. Ronnie said their girl on that show is hot. He didn't know her name. It's Halston Sage. Howard said he's with Ronnie on her. Ralph said Amy Robach is hot. He said she's stunning. Ronnie said she's on Good Morning America in the afternoon. He said Dr. Jen is pretty good too. Ralph said she's not hot. Ronnie said she's hot for a doctor.
Ralph said he and Ronnie are friends again. He said they talked and they're good. Howard said he's happy about that. He said he bets they saw that Bruce Springsteen commercial.
Ralph asked who the girl is on Prodigal Son. Robin said that's Halston Sage. Ralph said there's not a lot of hot girls on TV.
Howard said the girls on The Bachelor are hot. Ralph didn't think so. Howard said a lot of them are hot. Howard said Ronnie is going to put together a list for them. He said he has to go and do a break. Ralph said it's so great that Tom Brady won. He said it's a great story.
Howard and Ralph did their Ben and Howard impressions talking about the refs in the game and what they thought about that. Robin said they were super aggressive in the early part of the game and they did affect the game. Howard went into a live commercial read and a break after that.
Howard came back and sang along with the song a little bit. Robin said they're going to make a movie about this guy. Howard said he never thought he had great songs. Robin said he had a couple and he was also in a band before that. She said they had some songs. Howard said he was good enough to bang Whitney Houston. Robin said people did wonder how that happened. Howard said he was the one asking that. He said he thought she was going to marry Kevin Costner. Robin said she thinks that Eddie Murphy dated her for a minute and that would have been something.
Howard said he liked Charlie Murphy. He said he was a good guy. Robin said he was. She said that Howard's favorite Eddie Murphy movie has a sequel coming out. Howard said he saw the preview. He said he's not sure how that's going to be. He said he's not sure about the premise.
Howard said he thinks Coming 2 America was maybe one of the best movies ever. He said that John Amos was in the first one. He said he played the father of that girl. He said that Louie Anderson was in it too. Howard said it was such a good movie. He said it might be the best. Robin said no way. She said Trading Places was great. Howard said she's wrong. Robin said Trading Places is so good. Howard said they have to get out of there because they're so busy. Robin said she has to go out and plow the snow.
Howard said he has some fan feedback to read. He said people liked the Kevin Hart interview. He read through some of that.
Howard said that they had some show history on Sternthology during the break. He said that people wrote in about that. He read through some of that and played some audio from the fight between Ross and Jason that started on the Wrap Up Show and ended up on Howard's show.
Howard said he had to refresh his memory on that fight. Jason said that Ross had called him unprofessional at the time. He said he has seen Ross jump on tables and scream at people so don't call him unprofessional.
Howard said today is Jason's birthday so he wants Robin to guess how old he is. Robin asked how his diet is going. Jason said it's still going. He said he stuck with it even through the Super Bowl. He said his freezer is full of cauliflower and broccoli. He said that he's following he rules about what to eat. He said you can eat an unlimited amount of that stuff with mustard on it.
Howard said he loves cauliflower. He said that he might have to try that with mustard on it. Jason said it's the best thing he eats. Jason said that you don't put nay oil on it or anything like that.
Howard asked how much he's exercising. Jason said 3 days a week. He said that he had to shovel snow a lot this week so he didn't work out that much. He said that he's been working his way up with the amount of time he's doing on the elliptical. He said he watches TV while he's working out. He said he watches Below Deck where they have people who rent yachts and go on vacation.
Howard said he walks on the treadmill and watches Bill Maher. Robin said he's only one once a week. Howard said he only walks for 10 minutes so that show can last him the whole week.
Howard asked how much Jason has lost. Jason said 13 so far. Howard said he should have lost 40 by now. Jason said that he's committed himself to the process so he's all in on it. He said he's just trying to get to the end. Howard said he should have lost more than that in the first month.
Howard asked Robin how old she thinks Jason is. Robin said he's very youthful looking so she's going to say 45. Howard laughed. Jason said he'll take it. Howard said he's actually 42. Robin said she was close. Robin said 45 and 42 are the same. Howard said he thought he was 58. He said he thinks that Will is the same age. Jason said Will turns 43 next week.
Howard asked how old JD is. Robin asked if he's 43. JD said she's still wrong. He said he's 41. Howard said they've correct Robin twice and she's still wrong.
Howard said you think JD is older because he's still not exercising and weighs 215 pounds. JD said he's actually 217 at the moment. Howard asked how tall he is. JD said he thought he was 5'8'' but he has people saying he's 5'9''. Howard said JD doesn't know how tall he is. He said that he's not sure how that's possible. JD said that they measured him and they came up with 5'9'' but it says 5'8'' on his driver's license. He said he hasn't taken his height in years. Howard said you should be done by 21 or so and you're locked in by then.
Howard said at 18 he was 6'2'' and he grew 3 inches in college. He said now he's 6'5'' and that's it. JD said he hasn't had his height taken for years. He said he thinks they did it on the air and he's not sure but it may have been 5'8''. Howard said you know by the age of 19 or 20. JD said he doesn't really know. He said he's saying he's 5'8'' and that's that. Howard asked if he cares to find out how tall he really is. JD said he doesn't really care at this point. Howard said he's shocked that he wouldn't know.
Howard said he's 217 pounds. JD said he knows that for sure. Howard said at 6'1'' he should be that weight. JD said he doesn't eat a lot but what he eats isn't the best for him. Howard said it's time to whip out the cauliflower and mustard.
Howard said at that height he would be considered obese at 217 pounds. Howard asked if he's still drinking a lot. JD said not a lot. He said it's not that much over the past few months. He said that there are nights when he doesn't drink at all. Howard said they say that he spent $500 on baseball cards. He said he should spend that on a treadmill.
Howard asked if he's drinking a lot of soda. JD said he has a coke here and there. He said it's not a regular thing though. Howard said he saw a picture of JD when he started there and he was a thin guy. JD said his DNA changed. Howard said put a piece of tape over his mouth and he'll change his DNA again.
Howard asked JD what he said about how he'd date Chris Wilding if he was gay. JD said they talk about a lot of wild stuff in their meetings.
Howard said he has to get out of this. He said he has things to do and he has to wrap this up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said good luck to Robin plowing today. The caller asked Howard to ask Dave and Taylor about Neil Peart. Howard said he knows they love Rush so why would he ask about that. The caller said he hopes they can sway his opinion. Howard said he's not going to be swayed. He said they did just fine in life. Howard said Taylor is an amazing drummer. He said that kid can drum his ass off. He said he imagines being in a band with Dave that you have to be really good to get in that band. He said he saw a video of Taylor from years ago talking about Neil being really good to him. He said maybe it was Dave who said it. He said he doesn't want to saw the wrong thing. Gary said it was Lars who said it. Howard said maybe Dave, Lars and Taylor all have the same story. Jon Hein said that he thinks that Dave and Taylor also love John Bonham so that might be a good question.
Howard said he's pretty sure that if he asks Dave who is better, Neil or John Bonham, he'll say Bonham. Jon said that Taylor has played with Rush. Howard said feel free to elaborate on the Wrap Up Show with all of that information, not here.
Howard said that he's going to wrap up the show now. He said tomorrow they have Kristen Wiig coming in. He said he has the return of Beetlejuice too. He said he'll get to all of that tomorrow. Howard ended the show around 10:50am.
Howard started the show talking about how jealous he feels when this music comes on. He said it's so exciting. He said they're getting revved up for a good show today. He said they have all kinds of things planned for today's show. He said he's excited. He said Robin looks good. He said he likes her top. Robin said it just popped out when she opened her closet this morning.
Howard said Robin's makeup looks good. Robin said it's a new technique she has and it was from RuPaul. She said she looks as good as a man in a dress. She said it's this thing that you dab around and it highlights you. Howard said she should do a tutorial like Olivia Jade.
Howard said she looks softer with this makeup. Robin said you need his makeup to do this thing. Howard said of course you do. Robin said she couldn't do it without him. She said she saw it and it looked interesting to her so she tried it.
Howard said some people get stuck in their ways as they age but not Robin. He said she's trying something new. Fred played her news theme. Howard said to be open to new ideas is fabulous. He said it's a testament to her. He said she's a trailblazer. Howard said he noticed right away. Robin said he did. Howard said his mother always told him that he was a very observant person. He said he'd notice if things were changed or out of place. He said she must have been right.
Howard said he's obsessed with is the My Pillow guy, Mike Lindell. He said he can't get enough of this guy. He said he knows they were a sponsor years ago. He said he can't imagine that they had something so innovative. He said he had a good idea and he must be a determined guy. Robin said she thinks he was a crack addict. Howard said he knows nothing about that. Howard said he's not sure if he was but he can believe it in the way he conducts himself.
Howard said this guy was down on his luck and he created a pillow that's the same as any other pillow and he made so much money with it. He said the idea when you have a business is to stay non controversial. He said this guy who ran Sirius, Jim Meyer, didn't talk about who he was into politically. He said he had no idea who he was into. He said this My Pillow guy can just sleep and let the money roll in. He said he's not sure why this guy thinks he has to let his opinion be known. He said imagine you make all of this money making pillows and this is what he's doing. He said he was thinking about this guy and how he was going to manufacture a new type of ice tray for your freezer. He said that's what he's going to do to make money. He said he's going to sell you an ice tray even though you already have one. He said he'll call it My Ice Tray. He said before this My Pillow guy you would have thought he was on crack coming up with that idea.
Howard said his kids would come up with ideas and tell him about them. He said that he tells them they're working too hard on those ideas. He said just come up with an ice tray. He said he's going to come up with My Bath Towel and sell that on TV.
Howard read some details about Mike Lindell. He had his back story about the jobs he had before this pillow thing. He said this guy has some dough to be able to hang with Trump and have a 2 hour commercial on OAN. He asked if he's a billionaire. Robin said she's not sure but she imagines he's a multi millionaire.
Howard said they must have thought he was a maniac when he stared to make pillows. He said he claims that the idea came up during a dream. He said he was convinced it came from God. Robin said God is ridiculous. Howard said that's the idea God gave him. He said they say he's worth $300 million.
Howard said the one thing they say about being a businessman is to be non controversial. He said that Apple has this guy Tim Cook running it now and he's openly gay. He said being gay was considered being too controversial. He said the woman who is the head of Sirius, Jennifer Witz, is non controversial. He said he has no idea what she believes in. He said the trick to being a CEO is to never give your opinions on anything. He said Trump voters have no idea what Jennifer is into. He said they look at her and think she's into Trump. He said that she might be a flat earther for all he knows. He said if she came out and said that they'd throw her right out of there.
Howard said this Mike guy is very interesting. He said he's out there giving his opinions. He said he had one good idea with this pillow thing. He said that's it. He said he thinks he's in business with Joe Piscopo. He said they have something called Nutri-Joe. Robin said she's never heard of that.
Howard said this Mike guy is all in on Trump. He said he's at the point where he's on fire and can't shut up about the election being rigged and going off on the voting machine company. He said god bless this voting machine company. He said everyone thinks they can say that the machines were rigged but there are libel laws. He said you can't just say anything you want without consequences. He said free speech is a thing you have but if you say things that are lies then you can get in trouble and get sued. He said that you have to watch what you say. He said you still can't yell ''fire'' in a movie theater.
Howard said the voting machine company is suing people who say that they were rigged. He said that this Mike Lindell is out there saying that they were rigged.
Howard said that this guy Mike is selling 300 million a year in pillows. He said that Mike is begging to be sued over this lie about the voting machine. He said he bought 2 hours of air time on the OAN network. He said he's never seen that network but they say it's further right leaning than FOX. He said he has no idea where to see it but Mike bought 2 hours to do a documentary about the voting machines. He said they had to run a disclaimer before the show because Dominion is suing everyone over what they're saying about their machines. He said the disclaimer is so great. He said OAN ran this thing and they say they don't know this guy and don't want to be associated with him. He said they don't want to be sued. Howard said he still thinks that they can be held accountable.
Howard said he has the disclaimer. He played the clip of this guy reading the disclaimer about Lindell's documentary. Howard said OAN is so bad that they can't afford a real deep voice guy and this guy is the one reading the disclaimer. He said he's trying to sound like a deep voice guy. Howard played the disclaimer and they were distancing themselves from this documentary.
Howard said that guy's balls must be completely average. He said they must really have no money over there. Robin said it must not have cost that much to get 2 hours of time there. Howard said that disclaimer is basically them saying sue Mike Lindell and not us. Howard said it's so great. He said sue him, don't sue us.
Howard said the election technology company Smartmatic is suing FOX News for $2.7 billion.
Howard said that the announcer wants to talk to them. He took the call and one of the guys was doing an impression of the average sounding announcer.
Howard took a call from a woman who said the My Pillows are the worst thing in the world. She said they're so lumpy. She said she threw them in the garbage. She said they're so expensive too. She said she thinks she spent 300 dollars on them. Robin said he just took foam and cut it up and put it in the pillow. Howard said so it fits to your head. Howard said he should start a pillow company. He said he read that this kid from the Parkland shooting is doing that. He said he read that he's going to have his own pillow company. He said he thought that was funny. He said he'll buy his pillow. Robin said she will too whether or not it's good or not. Gary said that's David Hogg.
Howard said it's not an easy thing to run a pillow company. He said it's a lot of responsibility. Robin said he claims that he was a crack addict and he woke up after a dream and came up with the pillow idea. She said that he had to come up with a lot of things to get that done. Howard said he has no idea how to make a pillow. He said he would just give up.
Howard said according to the My Pillow web site the pillows can run $59 or more. He said he's very particular about his pillow. He said it has to be really flat. He said he has a skinny pillow.
Howard said that Fred came up with a pillow idea years ago and it was best for smothering people with. Howard said most companies fail so this guy has something that was working and now he's going out with conspiracy theories about the election.
Howard said this guy was on NewsMax and they freaked out when he started spewing his shit. He said the anchor man walked off the show. He said that's how scared they are of this guy. Howard played a clip of the news anchor walking off. Mike brought up the Dominion voting machines and the news anchor tries to stop him but he keeps going. The anchor tried to read a disclaimer but Mike kept talking over him. The anchor wanted to know something about being banned from Twitter but Mike kept going with the voting machine theory.
Howard said that went on and on. He said the dude got up and walked away. He said think how wacky things are over there where the anchor asks to get rid of the guy and they don't do it so he walks off. He said think of Mike Lindell's arrogance thinking that he's the only one with the truth. He said he's the My Pillow guy. He said that the judges who looked at the evidence don't think there's an issue there but this guy just knows there's something there. He said it's a fascinating thing. He said imagine you have a pillow company that's making you 300 million a year and you can just sit back and let it come in. He said he'd be sitting in his mansion thinking about this ''proof'' and just throw it right in the garbage and go back to bed. He said it's like going from rags to riches to bat shit crazy.
Howard said even if he had irrefutable truth about this he'd keep his mouth shut and keep making money. He said that he wouldn't do anything and just sit back. He said that he'd keep his mouth shut.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she watched this guy on FOX News and he's just crazy. She said that he was talking about the crack thing and how he was on a 14 day binge one time and he went out and told the crack dealers not to deal with him. She said that he said that he got the word out to all the dealers to keep it from him. Howard said this is the guy with all of the information about the election. The caller said his brain must be fried from the crack. She said that he also hires drug addicts at the My Pillow place. Howard said he admires that. He said they're making it there in this country and that's great. He said just shut your fucking mouth already. He said Biden is pretty much the president at this point. He said that you're not going to change that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that this guy always has a cross on him and that's how he sold all of these pillows. She said she's a Jew and she knew not to buy from him.
Robin said the guy is from Minnesota and he always has his arms wrapped around the pillow. She said he must talk with his hands because his hands are always moving when he talks while holding the pillow. She said that they leave that out of the impression they do on Saturday Night Live. Howard said that Robin should call Lorne Michaels about that.
Howard said he's fascinated with this guy. He said he's also trying to figure out this thing with GameStop stock. He said he was trying to figure all of that out. He said the stock was shitty and people got together on the internet and decided to buy it but he's not sure how they made money. He said he hears how they were trying to do it and it just goes over his head. Robin tried to explain it to him. Howard said that if he buys low and sells high then he's good. Robin said that's right. Howard said it's the biggest story of the year and no one can explain it to him.
Howard said people explain it to him and it still doesn't make any sense to him. He said it's easier to get information out of JD than get it about this story.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if his stance on censorship has changed. He said that Howard was controversial and made a career out of it. Howard said that's wrong. He said that he's glad he called. He said he wants to explain free speech in this country. He said that he knows nothing about the stock market but he does know about free speech.
Howard said that having free speech is fine. He said if he goes and says that Wes from Kentucky killed 7 people last night he can get sued for saying the wrong thing. He said when you get on the media and say something the company can be sued. He said that there are consequences for things you say. He asked Wes if he's okay with saying that. Wes was trying to argue but Howard wasn't done giving his lesson. Howard said he lives in Kentucky which is right next to Moronistan.
Howard said he can't go around saying that Wes is a pedophile who goes around sucking off 7 year old boys. He said that he just can't do that. He said that here is no such thing as free speech. He said there's speech with responsibility.
Howard said if he has a company that has voting machines and he makes sure they're the most secure things out there. He said then someone comes out and says they're not. He said he should be able to protect his reputation.
Howard said that if he said that Wes sucks off 17 young boys every day is that going to be okay with him? He said that he must be a free spirit if he's okay with that. Wes said it's not the same thing. Howard said it is. The caller said he's comparing being a pedophile with voting machines. Howard said you have to be able to back up what you're saying. Wes said that's not what he's saying. He said that the social media companies are shutting people down. Howard said that if you own the company Twitter and you have people saying things that aren't true they can get sued. He said they can be held responsible for what people say on their service. He said that's what Sirius has to worry about with what he says.
Wes asked Howard where he draws the line. Howard said he has no line. Wes asked why Howard hasn't brought up the Russia collusion thing. Howard said he has no idea what he's talking about. Wes said that he has to know what he's talking about. Howard asked what he's talking about. Robin said they heard what the FBI said about the 2016 election. Wes said that's not collusion. Howard said tomorrow's show will be all about how Wes drinks the piss of young boys. He said Wes is an intellectual genius. He said he's belligerent and he has no idea what the fuck he's saying. He said he's a moron and a dumb fuck. Robin said this is why the country can't get together. Howard said don't call him and stay off his line you fucking asshole.
Robin said when you're raising your children there are things that they tell their kids not to do. She said they're wrong and they don't work but what she sees people doing is childish. She said you can be a total fucking idiot and have temper tantrums all you want when you become an adult.
The caller said he's looking at a career change from a teacher to a radio and broadcasting thing. He asked if it's worth it or is he wasting his time. Howard said he's exhausted by that last guy. He said he's not going to tell him not to go into radio. He said it brought him a life. He said that his friends are saying that it's a horrible time to be in radio. He said that its pretty dismal right now. He said when he went into radio it looked pretty bleak too though. He said that if you want to try something like that then go for it. He said he doesn't think that his odds have increased lately. He said it's hard to be a broadcaster. He said he won't tell him not to go into it. He said assess your abilities and assess your drive. He said if you're on the fence at all then walk away. He said if you feel you can do it then go for it.
Howard asked how old the caller, Kyle, is. Kyle said he's 26 without a family right now. Howard asked if he has any radio experience at all. He said you have to be able to hit the post. Fred played some A-Ha and he tried to hit the post. Howard said that takes years of experience to get right. Howard talked up another song and missed the post. Howard said don't do it like that. He tried another one and hit the post sort of. Howard said if you have the burning desire to do that then go for it.
Kyle said there are so many outlets now that you can do it in different ways. Howard said just go into radio and leave him alone. He let Kyle go and talked up another song and didn't hit the post. Fred played song after song and Howard tried to hit the post. He worked that into a Steven Singer commercial.
Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't here right away. Howard asked what was going on there. The caller said his name is Jeff and not Jess like he heard him call him. Jeff said that he knows he's having Dave Grohl on tomorrow but will he have Tom Morello on. Howard said he has him booked to do the show. He said he does a great show on the Lithium channel. He said he impresses him in many ways. He said Rage Against the Machine is great and he's an interesting guy. He said Tom will be on February 24th. Robin said she'd like to know why his show is called the One Man Revolution. Howard said there is no revolution there so that's the one issue he has with him.
Howard said that Matthew McConaughey is listening this morning and thinks he's going too crazy about this stuff this morning. He had him on Zoom to say hello. Howard took the call from fake Matthew McConaughey who said that he has to calm down. He said he taught him how to do his breathing technique and he should do that. He said he has to go with the flow. Howard said he is. Matthew had him doing his breathing thing. Howard said he's getting dizzy.
Howard said he liked the commercial he did for the Super Bowl. Matthew said he has to do that so he can have time to go out and do his thing. Fake Matthew was going on and on so Howard cut him off saying he's making him nuts. Howard said he's annoying the shit out of him. He said he's making him crazy. He said leave him alone so he can go do his commercials.
Howard said that really tore up the comedy community. He said he hates relaxed people. He said that one caller really set him off.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks that she could have been on with that guy Wes. Her phone was cutting out so Howard had to let her go. He went into his commercial read and break after that.
Howard came back and talked about the Cheap Trick song and how great that is. Howard said he's drawing a blank about the guitar player in Cheap Trick. He said his name is Rick Nielsen. He said he loves when he throws his picks into the crowd.
Howard said he was reading about Gary Glitter being in prison. He said he was first jailed in 1999 and then in 2012. He said he was reading that he got the COVID vaccine. He said he knows people in their 70s who can't get it but Gary Glitter got it in prison. He said you have to love OJ getting it and tweeting a picture of himself getting it. He said you know he's doing it to troll people. He said he knows that people are going to get pissed. He said don't tell him about Karma anymore. He said OJ is out there having a good time and getting the vaccine. He said he's out there getting his vaccine and doing just fine.
Howard said OJ is getting the shot and he's wearing a mask that says ''Juice'' on it. He said that he can walk around without a mask and not be recognized but he wears one that has his name on it. He said he's rubbing this stuff in people's faces. He said people fucking hate the guy but he doesn't care if he pisses people off more with the vaccine thing. He said if he were OJ and got away with what he got away with you'd never hear from him again. He said you wouldn't know jack shit about him. He said he'd be living in some other country. He said not this guy. He said he's out there getting the vaccine. He said the sun is always shining in that guy's life.
Howard said that woman Ghislaine Maxwell also got the vaccine. He said she got her's in January. He said they're just hearing about it now. He said she got her's in jail. Howard said maybe she was like a guinea pig being tested early on.
Howard said the people who didn't get the vaccine are OJ's ex-wife and Ron Goldman. He said they can't get it because they're dead. Howard read about how OJ was telling people to get the shot because he got his. Howard said that's him saying that a lot of you losers can't get it.
Howard said that OJ tweeted that he had no ill effects from the shot at all. He said he didn't even have a sore arm. He said this is why Karma isn't a thing.
Howard said Gary Glitter got the vaccine before other prisoners and prison personnel. He said they say that's because of his age of 76. He said he's in prison for sexually abusing young girls. Howard said he loves this song though. He played the Gary Glitter song ''Rock 'N' Roll (Part 2)'' that they had played after the break.
Howard said that this Gary Glitter guy fascinates him too. He said he was arrested for pedophilia 3 times. He said he got out of jail and got arrested again. He said that you'd think it would be maybe twice and then it stops. He said third time is the charm. Robin said no one is learning anything from that. Howard said he went to the trial to see what was happening and they played his song and the jury stood up and started dancing and gave him a light sentence.
Robin said Jared is still in jail for what he did. Robin said they threw the book at him right away. Howard said meanwhile OJ is getting the vaccine. He said his arm doesn't even hurt. Fred played clips of OJ laughing.
Howard said how about this for a movie. He said you get the vaccine but only OJ, Gary Glitter and Ghislaine get it. He said everyone else dies. He said that those three are stick together. Howard said then Gary turns to OJ and asks if his arm hurt at all and OJ says that this is his stabbing arm and it doesn't hurt at all. Howard said then at the end of the movie everyone has died but these three. He said then OJ and Ghislaine fall in love and have a baby and then Gary Glitter molests the baby. Howard said it's the feel good movie of the year.
Howard said at the end of the movie they find out that Jared from Subway has survived and he joins them. He said he has to figure out how to work that in.
Howard said he's going to pitch this to Kristen Wiig later. He said she can get it made.
Howard took a call from a guy who was upset about OJ, Gary and Ghislaine getting the vaccine. The caller, JT, asked what the fuck is going on out there. Howard spent a minute with that.
Howard said that the Beetmoji thing looked like a home run. He said it didn't seem to pan out though. He said he recorded a bunch of material with Sal and Richard that day. He said he ash some out takes from that day. Howard played some of those. Beetlejuice wasn't doing what they asked him to do. They'd ask him to say ''On today's show...'' and Beetlejuice said he knows what today is. He asked what the fuck is wrong with this guy when Richard would ask him to say something over and over.
Howard said Beetlejuice moved in with his mother in 2016 and they have had a hard time getting him on the show. He said he has some good news though. He said his manager, Bobby, visited him in Georgia and gave them an update. He said Beetlejuice and Bobby posted one of their conversations from a diner. Howard said this is about as much information as they have on Beet now. He said Beetlejuice told Bobby that he had a lot of trouble contacting them. He said Beetlejuice claims he tried calling Robin and Gary but wasn't able to get through to them. Howard played a clip of Beetlejuice talking to Bobby about how he tried calling Baba Booey and Robin and wasn't able to get them.
Howard said he bets that Robin gave him a fake number. He said Beetlejuice claims that he recently saw Sal on the news. He played a clip of Beetlejuice talking about that. He said he doesn't know why he was on the news but he was on it. He said it may have had something to do with doing drugs.
Howard said he loves Bobby because he hit every topic with Beetlejuice. He said Beetlejuice claims he was trying to get Robin and Gary and saw Sal on the news. Howard said Bobby got Beetlejuice on their voicemail and had Beetlejuice leave them a message. Howard played a clip of Beetlejuice leaving his message saying that he quit smoking. He said he's been doing that for 3 months. He said ''Catch you later ding dong!''
Howard said that Beetlejuice really did quit according to Bobby. Robin said he sounds good.
Howard said that Beetlejuice is a prolific singer and song writer. He said that he collaborated with Leslie West on ''I Don't Know'' in the past. He played some of that song. Howard said there's Leslie. He sang some in that one. Howard said that Beetlejuice is the guy who should be getting the vaccine.
Howard said Beetlejuice had a follow up with ''Money, Money, Pussy.'' He played some of that song. He said Beetlejuice had ''Beetle In The House'' in 2015. He played some of that song. Howard said this is going to blow your mind. He said for the past few years Beetlejuice has been working with some of the biggest names in hip hop with his classic song ''Beetle In The House'' and today is the world premiere of the song with Big Freedia, Sean Paul and Snoop Dogg. He said he's about to play this and it's for real. He said this is the song of the summer for 2021. He played the song which was a remix of thee old song they created on the show. They had Big Freedia, Sean and Snoop all singing their own parts of the song.
Howard said that was nice. He asked how great that was. Robin said it was amazing. She said she's glad he was back in the studio working with the stars. Howard said how about that collaboration. He said it sounds good too. He said that he's now considered the best tiny headed artist of all time. He said the reason he's successful is because he sings about money and pussy. He said you have no idea who he voted for. He said he officially has more hits than The Weeknd.
Howard said he dated two women named Irene in his life. He one of them is the woman who broke up with him because a guy had a bigger penis than him.
Howard said Joe Walsh and James Taylor did a cover of that song on their show. He said that they were just in together and did it. He played some of that performance. Joe played guitar and James was singing. Howard said that he thinks it was a spontaneous performance. He said they didn't rehearse anything. Howard wondered if anyone names their kid Irene anymore. He said it's a good name.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Beetlejuice remix was amazing. Howard said it is something. He said he listened to it last night 3 or 4 times. The caller said he'd buy that on iTunes. Howard said everyone is buying it. He said it's selling so fast that no one can get it. He said he's the only place you can get it. He said maybe he should play it again. He said he was going to play Soundgarden's ''Blow Up The Outside World'' but maybe not. He said he gets so sad that Chris Cornell is gone. He said he gets sad hearing this song. He played that Soundgarden song. He said he plays it over and over again when it gets to him. Howard played the song and said this might be the best one they ever did.
Howard said the Beetlejuice song took 3 years to produce. He said it literally took that long. He said they had the tracks and they have very creative people working there. He said they wanted to get a super group together. He paused while the Soundgarden song played. He said that song is something.
Howard said the guys got Snoop to do his part of the song and it took 3 years to get everyone in on it. He said they stuck with it all this time though. Robin said they stayed with it, that's great. Howard said they don't stay with anything for more than a week so he was impressed. He said it's so great.
Howard said that this guy, Van, should call his mom and tell her that he's not going to argue with her about the election or Russia and all of this other bullshit. He said he can tell her it upsets him. He said that he's a reality based person and he has to have some ground rules. He said he can tell her not to talk about Trump. He said you can talk about whatever else you want to but not all of the nonsense.
Howard asked if Van's mom wears a mask. Van said she and her friends don't believe it's real. He said that they think the virus isn't real. Howard said that it is though. Van said his wife is a nurse and she has seen the dead and his mother still doesn't believe it. He said he tries to tone it out. Robin said she needs to be deprogrammed. Howard asked why he thinks his mom is smart. Van said that she's been a special Ed teacher for 20 years. Robins said she's just smarter than those kids. Howard said he has to set some rules with his mom and then when she breaks the rules he can break things off with her and never speak to her again.
Howard took a call from Van's mom who sounded an awful lot like Wendy the Slow Adult. Howard would ask her questions and she'd answer yes or no to them.
Howard said he has to get going. He said he hopes that helps Van out. Van thanked him for taking the call. Robin told him to read the book The Cult of Trump and that might help.
Howard said he has to take a break and then talk to Kristen Wiig. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said that Kristen Wiig is in a new movie called Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar. He said it's hard to say that.
Howard asked Kristen if she just did the Today Show. Kristen said she did and it's still dark outside where she is in L.A. Howard asked if she thinks about how she has parodied Kathie Lee when she goes on that show. Kristen said she does and she hopes that they don't ask her to do it. Howard said it would feel weird doing that. Kristen said it's not mean spirited when she does it. Howard asked if she has ever been confronted after doing something like that. Kristen said no but there have been times when you say something that seems kind of mean but she tries to take them out. She said you do run into people. Howard said she's great. He said when he has something mean he just goes with it. He said that it's difficult to let it go.
Howard asked if she has let go of sketches because they're too mean to that person. Kristen said yes. She said you have to find the funny and rewrite it. she said that Kathie Lee can be a character on its own and it doesn't' have to be her. She said she used to do Suze Orman on the show and she knew she was coming on the show and she could see her in the audience and it made her feel intimidated. Howard asked if she came to see her do the impression. Kristen said she was just there to offer the crew financial advice. Howard said they really look like they need financial advice.
Howard said he's a big fan of the Kathie Lee impression she does. She said she does that silent laugh and she has that down. He said it is a mockery but it's a gentle thing.
Howard said when she does Liza or Judy Garland they're looking at a person who is disturbed. He said that's what he loves about the impression. Kristen said the Liza one was her trying to turn off a lamp. Howard said it's the greatest. Kristen said she did an Ann Margret impression where she was trying to throw out a piece of paper. Howard asked how she knows about Ann Margret. Kristen said she grew up watching that kind of stuff with her dad. She said that she's not sure how they came up with that but she loves Ann Margret. Howard asked how they write something like that and know that she can do that impression. Kristen said that they'll have a writer come and ask if you can do an impression and they take it from there. She said that they'll come knock on your door and ask questions for who you can do and sometimes it works and sometimes you don't' do a great impression and you just try.
Howard said he's always fascinated by that. He said she gets to Saturday Night Live and he imagines that you don't know anyone there and you get thrown into this room and have to pitch ideas. Kristen said it's terrifying. She said she didn't eat for the first 3 shows. She said you know that everyone is so close that it's like family. She said it's like going into a living room and you don't feel comfortable. She said you watch the show your whole life and it's terrifying.
Howard asked Kristen about getting hired mid-season. He said he didn't know that. He said that they're already super chummy and they want to keep their job. He said he can't imagine what it was like when she walked into the writer's room. He said he likens it to going out to dinner with comedians who are super funny and you wonder what you're doing in the room. He said it's crazy. Kristen said it's like going to a new school in a new year. She said people wonder if you work there. Kristen said you pitch the ideas and the worst part is the 5 seconds of silence after you pitch it and no one says anything. She said your face gets hot and all of that. She said that was her most nerve wracking day of the week.
Howard asked Kristen if she brought the stuff she did at the Groundlings since she worked here. Kristen said some of that is in your audition and she thinks that when they watch that they see the characters you do. She said that it might be curated. She said they are good at easing people in and have them do what they want. She said it's like there are no rules over there so it's hard to figure out the science of it.
Howard said he doesn't like auditioning for anything. Kristen said no one does. Howard said he hates doing that stuff for radio and he did horribly when he had to audition. He asked how she decides what to do when she's doing that for Saturday Night Live. He asked if you throw everything but the kitchen sink at it. Kristen said kind of. she said she doesn't come from a stand up background. She said she was terrified and she had to keep it under 5 minutes. She said she did look at what she did at the Groundlings and she threw that stuff in. She said she auditioned twice actually.
Howard said he considers her one of the top 10 or 5 people who performed on Saturday Night Live. He said that she's created so many characters on the show. He said she's one of those home run players. He said he thinks she knows that. Kristen said thank you to him for that. Howard said the people who had acting backgrounds on the show are the ones who are the break out stars. He said other than Eddie Murphy. He said going up solo and doing something is tough when you don't have that experience. Kristen said when you perform with another person you have this give and take. She said you can feel what's working and not. She said that they tell you that no one will laugh when you're up there. She said she expected that. She said it was the most terrified she has ever been. She said she had never even been to New York city before that. Howard said she grew up in Rochester and all over the place.
Howard said the second audition must have been really terrifying. Kristen said that it was. She said she thought she did well with the audition. She said that she had to meet with Lorne and she knew Will Forte and they told her that she was going to get the job if she was meeting with Lorne. She said that Lorne was talking about the show and Chevy Chase and all of that. She said he told her that they don't have room for her right now. Howard asked if she asked if she asked him why he did that. Kristen said that she had a feeling that they wanted her but just not right then. She said that she was called to do another audition and she wondered if she had to come up with all new material. She said that after that audition she didn't hear anything. She said then the season premiere started and she figured that she didn't get it. She said then after the third show they called and said she could start. She said that she didn't know where to live so she had to find an apartment.
Howard asked if she ever asked about why that happened. Kristen said that she wasn't sure if they didn't know who was coming back or what. She said they have reasons for that stuff and Lorne knows best.
Howard asked what you do to set up for this new job. Kristen said she called someone who lived there and asked where she should live. She said she found an apartment and asked people where to buy a couch and things like that. She said she was walking on air too though. She said it was a dream of her's and she never thought it would happen.
Howard asked if she watched every Saturday night. He said Jimmy Fallon did that and knew he was going to be on the show. He asked if she was obsessive about the show. Kristen said no but she did watch it a lot in high school. She said that she never thought it was a real goal. She said that she thought it might happen but she wasn't obsessed about it.
Howard said she lived in a small town and she was a shy person. He said no one would have pegged her to be an actress. He said she wasn't a good student either. He said he pictures her as a goody two shoes. Kristen said she wasn't. She said she got in trouble a lot in school. She said she wasn't in Drama club either. She said looking back at old year books people would say she was funny but she doesn't remember being like that. She said she was very social though. She said if she had to stand up in front of the class it was her worst nightmare. She said she hated that.
Howard said the idea of being a class clown doesn't really mean anything. He said everyone finds their own way. He said you don't have to seek attention. Kristen said she always wanted to do it but she didn't think it was in her future. She said she was like an art student who wanted to be an art teacher.
Howard said he's imagining that she was like one of the popular kids because of her beauty. He said that he imagines that she was the girl dating the quarterback. He said that's his impression. Kristen said that she was social. She said that she didn't hate school. Howard said of course not. He said only beautiful people didn't hate high school.
Howard said she had this dream to go out and get this job. He said she did the shittiest jobs in L.A. for 10 years. He asked for a list of those jobs she did to make a living. Kristen said people do ask if she worked at a hot dog cart but she didn't. She said she worked in a hot dog restaurant. She said it was in Beverly Hills and it was a gourmet hot dog place. she said Jon Lovitz came in there once when she worked there. Howard asked if that's why she makes hot dog soup in her new movie. Kristen said maybe that's a subconscious thing. Howard asked what it's like to work in a hot dog restaurant. Kristen said it was a nice place with a counter and stools. She said she would take orders mostly. she said she would cook when they didn't have a cook there.
Howard asked what went on with Jon Lovitz. Kristen said that he had just gotten a new camera and they were trying to figure it out. She said she was freaking out over him. She said her first celebrity sighting was Joey Buttafuoco. She said then it was Jon Lovitz. Howard said that she had to make a living out there. He said that she had to do it on her own because her family wasn't giving her money. Kristen said her mom did help a little bit. She said she literally had nothing. She said going to L.A. to be an actor is a parent's worst nightmare. She said she didn't have a plan B. She said she had to pay rent and live in not great places.
Howard asked about Kristen's parents divorcing when she was young. He said that had to be tough. He asked if they were still in her life when she went off to do this. Kristen said she told them when she got there. She said she was living in Arizona while she went to school and then she moved there and told them what she had done. She said she knew she wanted to try it and she knew it would be hard for them to understand. Kristen said she didn't have any experience and she had to take an acting class. Howard said he relates to that. He said he told his father that he was going to be on radio and he told him he was an idiot and a moron. He said he didn't have any ability to be on radio.
Howard asked Kristen about working at a law firm. Kristen said that was for like a day. She said she wasn't able to figure out the phone system. She said that they told her everything and she couldn't do it. She said they thanked her for trying. Howard said that has to be life sucking. Kristen said it was a truly complicated system. She said that they didn't train her well.
Kristen said she had a friend get her a job at a restaurant and she wasn't able to figure out that one either. She said there were a lot of sides and ways of cooking eggs and things. She said she didn't want to be doing this job. She said she didn't love it. She said she waited tables later and did love it but not that time.
Howard asked if she had friends who got jobs on shows and if she was upset that she kept trying and nothing was happening. Kristen said of course. She said it's not an easy thing. She said she would go back to Rochester and her friends had houses and kids and jobs and they were wearing new clothes. She said she was the weirdo coming back from L.A. and she hadn't done anything. She said she was auditioning. She said she wondered if she was making a mistake. She said that you can't imagine yourself doing anything else so you can't help it and you just keep going.
Howard said his roommate in college was a med student and he told him what he was up to. He said he already had a medical practice and he was still trying to get on radio. He said he never thought he'd be able to support a family.
Howard said that Kristen wasn't handed a damn thing. He said she had to do it with talent and will. Kristen said that you think that you're going to have a life changing thing when you get a pilot but then it never gets picked up and you have to start over again. she said having the home based of the Groundlings was great. She said it keeps you hopeful when someone else gets work. She said that you'd be happy for the other person if they got work. She said it was helpful to have that.
Howard asked if it was less pressure having worked at the Groundlings since they were friends. Kristen said it was. Howard asked about people working with cue cards and if she memorized everything there. He said he thinks that she commits those things to memory. Kristen said he's incorrect. Howard said she appears to not be reading them. Kristen said there are some things that she knows are coming in those sketches. She said that the trick is that you have to keep looking at the cards and not at the person. She said you can't look at the other actor sometimes. She said you might have to grab a line before you read it. She said for the most part things change so much that you can't memorize it. She said you have to know those changes are made.
Howard asked how hard it is when you craft a sketch and the person isn't up to it to deliver the goods. He asked if you just plow on or do you try to get something else to do it. Kristen said she wouldn't say that but she thinks other people know that if something is coming. She said all they care about is making you look good there. She said if you're doing something that's not working they'll pull it or tell them that they have other things. She said they don't want the host to look bad so they'll do what they can to make them look good. She said that some people know they can't do things and they will let you know.
Howard said that she did a sketch with Anne Hathaway and they were great. Howard asked who she loved working with. Kristen said that there are so many. She said she remembers Justin Timberlake because everyone loved him. She said that she thinks she was there when Scarlet hosted. She said she loves her because she's really fucking funny and has good instincts. Howard asked what it's like when you think about how Colin Jost is hitting on her. Kristen said she wasn't there during that period. Howard said he can see how that happens there. He said it's kind of hot and romantic. He said he can see how people fall in love there. Kristen said it is like a camp there. She said you're there all day and night. She said that it's really just people making each other laugh and having fun. She said it's a lot of work but it's just making each other laugh. She said she thinks that people in the business don't get that usually. She said it was some of the best years of her life working there.
Howard asked if she ever had feelings for people there. He said he worked on one movie and he knows what that was like. He said as long as you perform and have fun you're in. He asked if she didn't want to fuck things up and didn't get involved. Kristen said it was a conscious decision. She said she just never felt that way about anyone. She said she was also in a relationship for a lot of that. She said that the crew you start with are your group. She said that you go through the same things together on the show. She said those people get you because they were there with you.
Howard asked if they teach you how to deal with fame over there. He said a lot of people got fucked up on drugs and things like that. He said they blew up their careers. He asked if she was kind of winging it. Kristen said there was no social media at the time. She said that was good. She said that they do have a person there who helps you with interviews and things. She said the Late Show was part of the show so they had you go on that. She said that you're pretty much on your own other than that.
Howard said when Kristen left Saturday Night Live Mick Jagger was there. He said he has watched that clip so many times. He said Mick came out and sang a song to say goodbye to her. He said it gives him the chills. He said he sang ''Goodbye Ruby Tuesday.'' Kristen said she's getting the chills now too. Howard said he doesn't think anyone got a send off like that other than her. Kristen said he doesn't know. She said Colin Jost actually wrote that piece. She said that she wasn't sure if it was going to be on the show but then she found out it was. She said that it was one of the best moments of her life and one of the saddest too.
Howard said when Lorne came out dancing with her he wondered who else gets that. He said that when Leslie Jones left she must have wanted something like that too. He said that no one gets that and it's kind of a dangerous president. Kristen said that there are people who have had great send offs. Howard said that Foo Fighters were there. Kristen said they were there on her first show too so they wrapped it up and it was amazing.
Howard said that he loves it when the staff is all up there carrying on. He said that Mick Jagger sings those songs to her and then Steve Martin was up there too. He asked if she's close to him. Kristen said she has worked with him but he just showed up. She said John Hamm was there too. She said she didn't watch it for a long time after that because she was afraid to cry.
Howard said he hates to listen to his own show. He said he will listen to see how bad it was if he thinks he did a bad show. He said he can't imagine she never watched herself. Kristen said not one thing. She said that she may have watched a sketch she wasn't in. Howard asked if she has seen herself do Ann Margret. Kristen said she has seen the Liza one. Howard said it's so great. Kristen said she knew she was going to be there for a while and she didn't want to know the angle from the camera. She said she didn't want to be aware of herself or what she looked like. She said she thinks she felt more free not knowing.
Howard said he thinks that she's such a good looking woman that maybe it's freeing not to know what you look like.
Howard asked Kristen about the last show she was on when she whispered something in Jason Sudeikis' ear. He said he looked like he was almost weeping in the corner. Howard asked what she said to him. Kristen said that she doesn't remember but they had just been through so much together. She said that she still turns to him to this day. She said that she probably just told him that she loved him or something. She said it was something nice for sure. Howard said he thought it was something horrible.
Howard said one of the jobs she had in L.A. was a nanny for Bob Odenkirk. He said he was a writer on Saturday Night Live and for Conan. He said his wife is a very successful manager. Howard said they hired her to watch their kid. Howard said he can't think of a worse job. Kristen said they had two kids. Howard said Naomi has to be very secure to hire her. He asked if Bob ever hit on her. Kristen said god no. Howard said he can't imagine them hiring her to come in and hang out where Bob is. Kristen said she never thought about that. Howard said Kristen eventually worked up the nerve to ask if Bob and his wife would come see her at the Groundlings. He said Bob actually put in a good word with Lorne and his wife wanted to manage her. Kristen said that she ended up babysitting for Bob and Naomi and she asked Naomi if she wanted to come see her perform. She said it was her advanced show. He said she had two shows and she came to see the second one and she wanted to work with her after that. Howard said he'd want her to be bad so they don't lose a baby sitter. He said he imagines that they can't hire a babysitter after that.
Howard said that also led to Saturday Night Live. He said you never know what will happen. Kristen said Naomi was a huge part in that whole process. She said they had conversations about her tape and how they had to get it to where it had to be to get her on that show. She said Naomi worked on that tape and helped. Howard asked if she's still her manager. Kristen said she doesn't have one right now. She said it was hard to break that off with Naomi. She said she needed different things. She said if she had one she'd have her.
Howard said Kristen was in that movie with Seth Rogen. Kristen said it was Knocked Up. Howard said she met Judd Apatow there. Howard asked if she brought up this Bridesmaids thing with him. Kristen said she asked if she could write that with her friend Annie. She said she wrote a lot of things with her at the Groundlings. Howard asked if she ever wrote for Saturday Night Live. Kristen said she did not but she did audition for the show. She said she was busy working in L.A. though. She said that Annie came up with the idea for Bridesmaids and she helped write it and they brought it to Judd. Howard said Judd asked them to bring him a script and it was a total spec thing. He asked if they just write it and bring it to him. Kristen said they had a deal and they literally bought screen writing books. She said they had to figure all of that out. She said they did know the story and a lot of characters. She said they did have Judd helping them out too.
Howard asked if they knew this was going to be a hit. Kristen said not at all. She said it was their first time doing this. She said they didn't know what they were doing. She said they had to do test screenings and stuff and they were okay. She said they figured it was going to be okay. She said that Annie sent her texts when it first came out and it wasn't great. Howard asked if the reviews were good or bad. Kristen said they were mixed. she said some people really liked it and that helped. she said it was word of mouth that helped too. Howard asked if she was upset at first because it wasn't getting the notice. Kristen said she didn't expect a lot.
Howard asked if she's overly neurotic about that kind of thing. Kristen said that she tells her publicist not to send her stuff. She said if something is horrible she'll see it. She said that she'll ask to see the great stuff too. She said you can read 50 nice things but the 3 bad things you read are the ones you commit to memory. She said it has changed through the years. She said you feel like you're supposed to know how it's going but she tries to consider the source. She said if people are hating she doesn't really read that stuff. she said she's very sensitive. Howard said he is too. He said he has a really thin skin.
Howard said they were nominated for an Oscar and he thinks they should have won over that Woody Allen movie. Kristen said the fact that they were even there was great. Howard asked if she had a speech prepared. Kristen said she thinks they were prepared for who to thank. She said that she didn't think they were going to go up there but they were prepared to thank the right people.
Howard said when you make a movie that makes that kind of money things change. He asked if that happened for her. Kristen said not the way he thinks. She said she wanted to do an Indie film and something more dramatic too. She said she wanted to do other things. She said after she did Knocked Up and played that character she wanted to do something different. She said they wanted her to play the same character in other movies. She said she wasn't being rebellious but she wanted to do other things.
Howard asked if it messed her head up trying to figure out what to do. Kristen said she didn't feel pressure to do something big. She said she loves big movies but she loves the small artsy films too. She said that's what she wanted to do. She said when she started out she didn't plan on starting with comedy. She said she didn't think she was comedic. She said she just wanted to act.
Howard asked if Saturday Night Live could have held on to her wafter a big success like Bridesmaids. He said he doesn't think they pay enough to hold on to anyone big. He said the pay scale must be weird there. He said that's the feeling he gets. Howard asked if they wanted her to stay. Kristen said they did step up and she didn't leave because she felt it was safe to leave. She said she knew when she started there she was going to do 7. She said there's this mystery you have to figure out there. She said once you figure out how it works you have to leave. Howard asked if she feels it's loser-ish to hang out there too long. Kristen said not at all. She said everyone has different goals. She said some people just love being here and they're great. She said that people love to see them too. she said that everyone is so different.
Howard asked if she hit it big in year 3 can she walk in and rip up the contract. Kristen said she would think so. She said the contracts are year to year there. She said you get the call in the summer if you're coming back or not.
Howard asked if they talk about money with the other cast. Kristen said not really. Howard said she was a major player there. Kristen said they all get paid not great in the beginning. She said that people are barely making it. Howard said he thinks that she whispered to Jason Sudeikis what she was making and that's what made him react the way he did.
Howard said Kristen has this new movie out and asked about working on it with Annie who she worked on Bridesmaids with. Howard asked where we see this movie. Kristen said that it's going to be on PVOD. Howard asked what that is. Kristen said it's Premium Video On Demand. Howard said he had no idea what that was. Howard said the movie is called Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar.
Howard asked about working with Jamie Dornan on the movie. He asked how they picked him. Kristen said they sent him the script and he read it and they were shocked. She said they didn't expect him to do it. She said they found out he was going to do it and they were like ''What?''
Howard asked Kristen about Will Ferrall being involved as a producer. He asked if it's just his name or is he actively involved. Kristen said they worked with some people who work with him. She said that they sent him the script and he did talk to them through the process. She said that he was very involved. Howard asked if she still loves him. Kristen said of course. She said she loves his brain.
Howard asked if they shot before COVID. Kristen said they did. She said it was way before. She said it was a while ago. Howard asked how long it takes to write something like this. Kristen said it took like 4 years. She said they got the first draft done in a week or so. Howard asked about the process and what the first draft really is. Kristen said they figure out the scenes and the order of it and then they kind of write a very long draft. She said then you realize what you don't need. She said they read it out loud and figure it out from there. She said you figure out what they like and what people don't like. Howard asked if it's torture writing a movie. Kristen said that there are parts of it that are hard. She said she loves writing with Annie. she said that part is really fun but then you get into the notes you get and having to cut 10 pages and all of that. She said making it the final thing is hard. She said the actual writing they love.
Howard asked if they have someone there helping them to write. Kristen said they take turns on a computer. She said that they go to Annie's house to write. she said there are always snacks there. Howard said Kristen must not eat any snacks. Kristen said she does eat snacks. She said that she'll have chips, popcorn, chocolate and things like that. Howard said it sounds fattening to him.
Howard asked if Kristen makes people stick to the words she wrote or do they let them play with them. Kristen said they're very loose about it. She said it's a combination of both. She said they get the scripted version and then they'll loosen it up. She said its kind of different for everyone.
Howard asked if she has seen the movie or will she not watch it. Kristen said she's probably seen it like 1000 times. She said it was very involved. She said they had a screening of it before COVID and the whole thing is very strange. Howard said it's horrible because you just want to see laughs every 30 seconds. He said that's nearly impossible though. Kristen said sometimes a person will get up and leave. She said that's hard. Howard asked if she blames that on a part Annie wrote. Kristen said she blames it on a phone call the guy must have gotten to make him get up and leave.
Howard asked if Kristen ever wrote a sketch at Saturday Night Live that she knew would kill and they cut it. Kristen said it happens at the read through table when they cut things. He said that she and another woman wrote a sketch for Charles Barkely and it went so well that people clapped. She said that it got in the show and it was silent. She said it was crickets. She said that Andy and Bill were in it and they were laughing but no one in the audience was laughing. Howard asked what the premise was. Kristen said they were grief councilors who were called in for people who got sick and died at this company. She said it was funny to them but the audience didn't care.
Howard said we have a new Kristen Wiig movie and it was made at great expense. He said that it's Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar.
Howard asked if Kristen is happy now. He said she has a family and a man in her life. He asked if she's happy. Kristen said she is. She said that it's hard to not feel so much of the shit and struggle that's going on. She said in her home she is very lucky to have these two babies and her husband. She said it has changed her life. Howard asked if it's hard to be a mother and have this career. He said it must be a juggling act. Kristen said it is. She said she's not going to a set right now but she isn't as present as she'd like to be. she said it's very hard to do this stuff and have her kids not see her for a day. She said she is very nervous about leaving and going to work when that happens again. She said that they're really young right now so that's an advantage right now. She said that time is coming and she'll do her best to balance that.
Howard said he loves having an excuse not to leave the house. Kristen said there's no place she'd rather be.
Howard asked about the character she had where she had tiny hands and a big forehead. He asked what was up with that. Kristen said they wrote it as an unattractive woman. She said that they just wrote that she had little hands and a big forehead. She said then it got on the show and they had to figure out what to do with the hands. she said then it became her look. She said it was the non attractive one.
Howard said she has given them so many great characters. He said that there are so many that he thinks about. He said he loves the singer one with Fred Armisen. He said that's so well done. He said he marvels at that. He said she's quite incredible. Kristen said she's honored. She said she's thankful that he had her on his show. She said she's a fan and this was the best interview ever. Howard thanked her for that.
Robin said she thinks that Bridesmaids is an incredible movie and she thinks it was great for one reason that people don't bring out all the time. She said it was a female buddy movie. She said Kristen makes great female buddy movies. She said it was funny too so that's a great thing. She thanked her for that.
Kristen said that Romy and Michelle was an inspiration to her. Robin said that was good too but this was something different.
Howard said Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar is available this Friday wherever you can stream movies. Howard said there are no theaters out there right now. He said who knows what's next. He said Kristen wants to leave us with some words of wisdom. Kristen said just look in the mirror and tell yourself to keep going. Howard said he knew she'd say that.
Howard asked if she's going to go back to sleep now or what. Kristen said this is it for her. She said she's going to go rest. Howard said he hopes that Mick Jagger comes in and sings to him on his last day. Howard thanked Kristen again and asked if she likes going back and doing Saturday Night Live. She said yes. She said it was very weird this last time but it was a lot of fun. She said that she kind of wants to be the cast instead of the host. She said maybe that's because she's used to that.
Howard asked if there's any people who were jealous of her over there at Saturday Night Live. Kristen said not on her side. Howard asked if there was anyone who hosted that she hated. Kristen said hate is a harsh word. She said there were some who didn't want to cooperate. She said that she has nothing bad to say about anyone.
Howard said they're very excited about this new movie. He gave her another plug and wrapped up again. He thanked her for coming and let her go.
Howard said that was fun. He said he thinks she's the greatest. Robin said she's so creative and talented. Howard said that's right.
Howard said that he can't believe she wasn't that popular in high school. Robin said she did say that she was social. Howard said she's a very good looking woman. Robin said a lot of times people don't know what their perception is in a group. She said that maybe not everyone is that popular.
Howard said on Monday they talked about the women he may have been able to get with back in the day. He said Jillian Barberie tweeted yesterday that Howard is her dream man and Beth is a lucky woman she adores. She said she loves Howard deeply and even more than her ex husbands. Howard said he believes that's confirmation that he could have had something with her. He said Jenny McCarthy didn't write anything after that show but back in 2016 she said this on her show. Howard played a clip of Jenny talking about him getting more attractive as he gets older.
Howard said that Robin made a face when Jenny said he has a presence in the hallway there. Robin said she must have a different view of him than she does.
Howard said they had a great visit with Kristen Wiig today. He said they celebrate her movie Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar. He said she was very funny. He said Robin's makeup looks fantastic. He said they had a very busy show today. He said maybe he should leave everyone with the Beetlejuice song again. He explained that song again and said it took 3 years to make. He played the song as they ended the show. The show was over around 10:50am.
Howard started the show talking about how excited he is that the Foo Fighters will be doing a couple of songs live on the show today. He said that they've done a bunch in the past. He played some examples from their past performances. He had Dave Grohl performing Everlong acoustically. He played some of that and ''My Hero.'' He played some ''Monkey Wrench'', ''Times Like These'', ''Learn to Fly'' and said they have done it before and they'll do it again today.
Howard asked how you can't like that. Robin said if you're not a Rock & Roll fan. Howard said that he had a dream where Dave said that he's been on the show so many times that he's considered a Foo now. Howard said he is an honorary Foo. Robin said he could be.
Howard said he has so many things to talk to the boys about. He said he was listening to Foo Fighters radio last night and they were talking about their early days. He said he likes all of that shit. He said it's great if you're a fan of the band. He said that's on channel 105. He said it's a little nudge to the right of the dial there on Sirius.
said he went to 101 last night to get to 105. He said he was on 101 listening to that for a second and it was so good. He said he thinks their show is just so good. He said then he went over to Foo Fighters. He said on 101 he and Robin were listening to James Taylor and Joe Walsh doing ''Goodnight Irene.'' He said they played that interview where they performed that on the show. He said it was so good and so compelling. He said it makes him wonder about them just performing songs together without rehearsing. He said it would be compelling. Robin said it would be great to hear them figuring something out. Howard said he liked that it wasn't polished. He said then he went over to Foo Fighters radio. He said they were talking about their early days. Howard said the guys will be on the show today. He said he has about 50 questions for Dave Grohl. He said that he wants to know why he thinks that ''Times Like These'' is the best song he ever wrote. He said by the time they get to them he'll forget to ask about that. He played more of ''Times Like These.''
Howard took a call from a woman who said he has to ask about how Dave can sing all of that and chew gum the whole time. Howard said he does that to keep his voice going. He said he gets dry mouth. The caller said she finds herself looking at the gum when he does that. Howard said he does too. He said you can get gum caught in your throat so he's mastered that gum chewing. He said as far as he knows he's never swallowed it. He said he'll ask him about that though. Howard said he has to write that down. He said he never looks at the notes during the interview so he'll forget about it.
Howard said he wanted to ask Dave about that girl on Saturday Night Live breaking her guitar. He said he was watching that and Phoebe Bridgers was on. He said he likes the musical guests on the show. He said this young woman was on and at the end of her song she was smashing her guitar. He said he was watching it and laughing because she was smashing it but didn't have the strength to do it. He said the guitar basically beat her up. He said it looked like it was going to hit her in the head. He said it looked like a very thought out kind of smashing of the guitar. He said he thinks the smashing with The Who is in a big concert where you have big energy. He said it looked somewhat contrived to him. He said she just did one song so you're not worked up. He said they knew it was going to be smashed. Robin said she watched Saturday Night Live and she just realized that they cut out the musical guests in the version she watched. Howard asked if she was wearing her binoculars while watching that. He said he told Beth about that and thinks he has to try that out. Robin said just get them. Howard asked if that's what it's come down to. Robin said it has.
Howard asked what that laughter is that Fred is playing. Fred said it's OJ. Howard said he likes that. He said he's going to get a telescope instead of binoculars. Robin had a magnifying glass to look at stuff while she's there.
Howard said he read about David Crosby tweeting a comment about the guitar smashing and thought it was a little embarrassing. He said she got very defensive and tweeted back about that. He said she had a fuck you to him. He said that David Crosby isn't some shlub on Twitter. He said that you might want to listen to him. He said he may have a good point.
Howard asked what it was that David Crosby and Phoebe were going back and forth with. Gary said he sees something. He read through the comments and said that David said that guitar are made for playing and not smashing on a fake monitor. Gary said Phoebe said next time she'll just burn it and it'll be more expensive. Howard asked Gary to read that again. He did that and Howard got that she said she was going to burn it. Gary said some people came to her defense but someone said that's what you do if you can't write.
Jon Hein had more specific details. He went through what Crosby said. He said he just said that the performance was pathetic and then said the rest of what Gary had read. He said it was ''stupid'' in all caps. Jon said Phoebe called him a little bitch.
Howard said Crosby is one of the best song writers ever. He said he's earned his credibility. He said that she could have had some class. He said she could have said he might have a point and go back and watch that thing. Robin said Howard has evolved but he has to think about what he did to his idol Soupy Sales. Howard said she has a good point there.
Howard said he was thinking that she was going to get knocked out by that guitar. He said it was fine and there wasn't even a dent in it. He said he'll have to ask Dave about it today.
Howard said that David and Flea got into a discussion about it and they were talking about the guitar thing and going back and forth about what people did with their guitars. Howard said now he'll get the Foo Fighters involved.
Howard asked if Fred saw that. Fred said he did and he thinks that Phoebe contacted the guitar company and they told her that they build those things very well. He said the monitor was fake and he thinks she was just making a statement. He said it is what it is. He said the first time The Who did it that was an accident. He said they did it once in a club and the audience liked it so they did it again. He said they used to fix their guitars because they didn't have money to get new ones. Fred said this Phoebe is just 26 so she still doing her thing.
Howard said he has another quote from Phoebe. He said she says that they're hard to break according to the guitar company. He said he thought it was kind of sad to see her not able to smash it. He said it was beating her up. He said it would be nice to see the guitar win the fight.
Howard asked the caller what he can do for him. The caller said something about Nirvana being like the Beatles for him and wondered if Howard would ask him about that. Howard asked if he wants him to ask if he listens to old Nirvana songs. The caller said he would. Howard said he'll ask about that.
Howard took a call from a guy whose phone sounded so bad that he was impossible to understand. Howard asked if everyone is calling from under the sea.
Howard said he was up late watching ''I Am Jazz'' last night. He asked if Robin watches that. Robin wasn't sure what it was. Howard said it's a show about a trans girl. He said that it's on TLC like the 1000 Pound Sisters. He said that's the best television show currently. He said that's some fucking show. He said that he and Beth hang on every word. He said he has turned her on to I Am Jazz too. He said Beth wasn't into it but he's gotten her into it. He said this Jazz is doing a home schooling thing. He said she knew she wanted to be a chick when she was very young. He said now they're up to her getting a vagina. He said she was going to get titties but she has a big rack from taking hormones.
Howard said he's kind of jealous if Jazz because her parents are so involved with her. He said that he wishes his parents were like that. Robin said maybe if he had these issues like Jazz then they would have. Howard went into his impressions of his parents talking to him as if he wanted to be a girl when he was a kid.
Howard had his parents talking to each other about him thinking he's a girl and his dad saying they already have a girl. He had his dad saying they have Ellen and asking if she's now a boy.
Howard said maybe they can talk about him behind his back instead of in front of him. Howard had his dad saying that he needs a big punch in the face. His mom was asking them to stop it.
Robin asked if they heard that Howard doesn't need top surgery because he took hormones. That got his dad freaking out about that. He said he needs brain surgery. Howard had his parents telling him all of this. He said that they're so insensitive. He said that many people have gotten this surgery.
Howard had his dad telling him that he's transitioning to a moron. He said he's going to look like Frankenstein if he does that. Howard said they're being transphobic. He said he wants to be a woman. He had his mom and dad telling him to shut up. He had his dad telling him he still hates him no matter what he becomes. Howard said he heard that.
Howard said that would have gone over real well. He said he's jealous of Jazz because of how her parents are with her all the time. He said that they support her in all of this. He said the doctor was there asking her if she has ever had an orgasm and asking how deep she wanted her pussy. He said her parents were there for it all. He said he wants them to be his parents. He said his parents would have given him shit if he wanted to do that. He said he never would have been able to talk to his parents about that.
Howard said he thinks the doctor on the show is a guy who used to be a girl. He said he's not sure about that though. He said he might be insulting her if she wasn't. He said that they're coming up on the season finale soon.
Howard said you have to hear this. He said Jazz can pass as a woman. He said you'd never know by looking at her. He said he feels bad for some of her friends who are transgender and still have male features. He said Jazz has bigger tits than some people in her own family. He said they were born with vaginas and they don't have a big rack like her. He said Jazz has a very feminine voice too. He said you'd never know she was a guy. Howard said she goes to the doctor with the parents and she says that she has a very feminine look. He said she said there's barely balls and a peen down there and they need that to make a vagina. He said she has microphallus. He said that's his problem. That led to his parents talking about his penis that's too small. He said that if he wants a vagina he should have a giant bush like his mother. Howard had his mother and father discussing that with each other.
Howard said Jazz goes to the doctor and they tell her this about her penis. He said they say there's an experimental surgery where they take her asshole or colon and use that to make a vagina. He said he's fascinated by this. He said the doctor says they have this and haven't done it on many people. He said they take something from the colon and use that to make the vagina but the downside is that's where you make doody so you may have secretions that will be doody. Robin was making grossed out sounds. Howard said she was saying that the vagina would have doody in it. Robin said this doctor must be a fake. Howard went into his parents voices again and talked about the doody vagina and the tiny penis thing. He had his father asking what comes out of his vagina if she has a doody vagina. Howard had his dad asking what he'll do on radio if he's a woman. Howard said he'll do his show.
Howard said if he had that desire to be a woman he never would have been able to tell his parents that. He said he couldn't even tell them that he was having a hard time living in a black neighborhood. He said they never even asked him how he was doing. He said all of his friends moved away and they never noticed a thing. He said forget about it if he had wanted to be a woman.
Howard went into his impressions again and had his parents talking more about the doody vagina. He had his father laughing at him wanting to be a woman. He had his mother relaying the messages to his father. Howard had them talking about how he should pay for that vagina himself and things like that.
Howard said that this Jazz goes to the doctor and the doctor tells her about this colon thing. He said then another doctor tells her that she's going to take some of her stomach lining and give her a vagina. Robin said all of this sounds like a bad idea. Howard said the father in the family must make a lot of money because he has to pay for all of this. Robin said they could stretch the penis skin couldn't they. Howard said apparently not.
Howard went into his parents voices again and had them telling him not to carry on with this vagina thing. He had Ben and Ray going on and on about how he's their son and he was telling them that he's their daughter. He said his name is now Holly. His mom kept calling him Howard. Ray told him that he was perfect when he was born and this is not the right way to work your mind. She said that you have to work it in a positive way and say you're perfect the way you are. Howard had her telling him that he's a perfect boy and he's her son. Then Ben said he never had time to worry about what he had. He said he had a penis and that's what he had. Ben and Ray shared their stories with Howard and told him how rough they had it growing up and he should just deal with what he has. Howard said he wants to be a girl though and he's Holly now. Ben said he's not paying for that.
Howard said it kind of stirred up a lot in him watching this show. He said they're so involved with their kid. He said it's incredible. Robin said maybe they're too involved. Howard said maybe but it looked good to him. He said to have parents so involved looked good. He said if a kid tells you they want to be a girl and they go along with it. He said that's something. Howard went into Ben and Ray again and asked if Great Garloo wants to be a girl too.
Howard told Ben and Ray he wants to transition and Ben told him to transition to a job. Howard said it's all great. He said it really stirred up something in him watching this show. He kept going in and out of Ben and Ray's voices. He had them telling the doctor how big to make the vagina and having it squirt too.
Howard said he's a big fan of this Jazz show. He said he's not sure if she's going to get a vagina before the end of the season. He said she's so open with her parents. He said she's willing to tell them how big of a vagina she wants. Howard had his dad telling him that his mother's vagina is as deep as a cavern. Howard had his mother saying that it is quite large. Howard said he'd like to have one like that so he can pass a football through it.
Howard had Ben asking him about his voice and what he's going to do about that. Howard talked in a female voice a little bit.
Howard said he likes this ''I Am Jazz'' show. He said you should watch it. He said he likes seeing the other trans friends on the show too. Robin said this is what she doesn't understand. She asked if you only have trans friends. Howard said no but most of them this year are trans. He said she only has one friend who isn't trans. He said then she started dating a girl. He said that she wants to be with dudes and girls. He said she's pan-sexual. Robin said she's not sure what she wants to say here. Howard told her to stop now or she'll get in trouble.
Howard took a call from a trans woman, Ciantel, from Canada who they have spoken to before. Howard asked how deep her vagina is. Ciantel said she hasn't done that yet. She said she has to go through a few more things before she gets her surgery. She said she has B-cups and she didn't have to take hormones. She said that she was born with an extra chromosome. Howard said she was going to send some pictures. Howard asked if he ever saw them. Howard said he has to take a break. He said he hasn't seen the pictures yet. Howard asked who she thinks she looks like. Ciantel said she doesn't know. Gary said he's looking at the picture and she should stay on the line. Howard put her on hold. Howard said he accidentally hung up on her. He told her to call back.
Howard said he would like to see a show where they have just trans people going to the doctor. Howard said he used to think that lesbians were the future. He said that's the past and now it's transgender. Howard took a look at Ciantel and said she's lovely. Robin said she looks like the mom on Six Feet Under. Howard said he's not sure who that is. Gary said he has another one of her penis with a quarter next to it. He said it's a funny picture. Howard asked to see that. He said he has seen women who were born women who look worse than Ciantel.
Howard took a look at the penis and said that she has a lot of cock there. He said that he's not sure what he's looking at. He said it may have been a garlic clove. Howard went into a live commercial read and got back on with Ciantel and told her she looks alright. He said he thought she was going to be a mess but she looks nice. He said don't worry about it. Ciantel thanked him for that. Howard told Ciantel to call back another time and they'll talk more. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that's Charlotte Lawrence. He said he's up on what the kids are doing. He said he's up on music. He said he was just yelling at Gary and Jon Hein for being impressed that they vote for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. He said he should be voting. Gary said he is a voter. Howard said he doesn't want to vote. He said he'll tell Jon and Gary who to vote for. He said they're not professional DJs like he was. He said they listen to music like everyone else.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's subscribing to print newspapers or not. Howard said he used to and then COVID happened and he stopped. He said when COVID started he was thinking that he could get it from the newspaper. He said he canceled all of his physical editions. He said he reads the NY Times on Kindle now. He said he can change the font and read it easier so he loves that. He said he tried the Daily News but the Kindle edition was hard to read for him. He said it wasn't easy. He said he should go back to that.
Howard said he doesn't get magazines on the Kindle. He said he needs to hold a magazine. Robin said she was talking to someone about pulling pictures out of magazines but you can't do that with computers. Howard said use Pintrest. Robin said she hates that.
Howard said stuff online is so cool. He said that he may never go back to physical newspapers. He said he does want to support them. He said the NY Times is so great. He said he's blown out by them. He said just this Sunday he was looking through the paper on his Kindle and they did an article on how to write an obituary. He said it was fascinating. He said he worries about what he'll have to do when his parents finally go. He said they may outlive him though. He said he hopes they do because he loves them.
Howard said he was reading this article and he was thinking about how complicated the writing of his dad's obituary would be. Robin asked if he writes about the guy being critical or not. Howard said no. He said they tell you how to do it in the article. He said there's something brilliant in that paper. He said he gets so offended when someone criticizes him for reading the NY Times. He said they're not the enemy. He said thank god for the free press. He said this isn't Russia. Robin said when you say something bad about the President you don't end up in jail. She said that guy in Russia got thrown in jail for 3 years after he said something about the government over there.
Howard said he has given up on newspapers but he still has to have a magazine in his hand. He said he loves Rolling Stone and he misses that. He said if they had a good version of it on the Kindle he'd get it. He said they have to do it like the NY Times does it. He said magazines don't read as well.
Howard said that CNN was interviewing Mary Trump and Anderson Cooper said Erection instead of Insurrection. Howard played that clip.
Howard said a local reporter in North Carolina said it too. He played that clip where he said erection instead of insurrection. Howard asked if it's that hard to say. Robin said they could say something else instead of that.
Howard asked Robin if she would correct herself or just keep going. He said some of these reporters just keep going. Robin said half the time people don't hear it so you just go on.
Howard said out in San Francisco they had a woman who said it and didn't correct herself. Howard played that clip and she just kept going after saying erection instead of insurrection.
Howard said this guy Chris Krebs was trying to say election irregularity and he said erection. Howard played that clip.
Howard asked why he's still so childish when he hears that. He said he still giggles. He said erection irregularities are a serious thing. He said if he was a professional newscaster he doesn't think he'd screw up on that word. He said he thinks he'd be able to handle that. Robin said that she thinks of them as Freudian slips. Howard said he thinks so too. He said it's a pandemic of erections.
Howard said this guy caught himself saying it but corrected himself mid-erection. Howard played that clip and laughed again.
Howard had a clip of Adam Schiff saying erection instead of insurrection too. Howard said Trump must secretly love all of this erection talk. He said he kept wondering what Donald is doing during this TV coverage. He said this might be painful for him. He said he would normally tweet. He said on the first impeachment he tweeted 140 times. He said since he's not president anymore he's just playing golf. He said they say that Trump is watching. He said yesterday he watched and was very upset with his own lawyers for not doing a good job.
Howard said it sounds like they're not going to get paid. He said he hopes they got paid up front. Robin said he can talk about how brilliant he is but then he gets a guy who basically does ambulance chasing to represent him and arguing constitutional law in front of congress. Howard said they say that Trump got really annoyed when the lawyer said he lost the election. Robin said he's still going with that line. Howard said he just can't accept it. He said he bets the lawyers won't get paid. He said Rudy Giuliani isn't getting paid from what he read. He said that he was supposed to get like 20,000 a day. Howard said they do say that Donald is watching this coverage every day.
Howard said they called into a current affairs show and kept saying erection instead of insurrection. He said they wanted to see if they could annoy the hosts and they did. Howard played the prank call. In the call they had a woman calling in and saying erection instead of insurrection. The hosts of the show got upset with her for saying it over and over. They figured it was a prank call so they hung up on her. Then Sal called in and said he's had erectile dysfunction for years. He said he's glad they're talking about that on their show. Then the guys called in with another erection call and they had a guy jerking off. The hosts freaked out and said he's going to mute their microphones. One of the hosts freaked out and said they have to shut the fuck up so he can get him out of there. One of the hosts said this shit was crazy.
Howard said it got everyone crazy. He said you have to say insurrection and not erection. He said they just love this stuff. He said it's a symphony of nonsense.
Robin said they're thinking about going to a subscription model at Twitter. Robin said that Netflix keeps raising your rates. Howard said Twitter he has to provide the content. He said that's ridiculous. He said Ralph wants to charge for his personal Twitter account. He said he thinks he's interesting but he's not sure who is going to pay for that. He said he swears that they stole his idea.
Howard said he has to think about this. He asked if he would pay to be on Twitter. He said the answer is no. He said he doesn't think he would. He said everyone is contributing to Twitter. He said he thinks he'd be resentful of that.
Howard said Ivanka Trump wants to talk to them. He said she wants to comment on how they're handling all of this. Howard took her call and Ivanka was crying and told Howard this is how she's handling the election loss. she said she's stuck in Florida now.
Ivanka told Howard that she's stuck with people like Kevin Sorbo and Honey BooBoo supporting them now. She said that she put up with so much from the press while her dad was President. She said she had to hear so many jokes about her father wanting to have sex with her. She said he only wanted to have sex with her but she kept him in the friend zone for America.
Howard said they did goof on her a lot. He said he odes it himself. Ivanka said he does. She said her dad may have said a lot of crazy shit but she made a deal to smile during it all. She said she was going to have her own brand but to have a high end brand you need high end people. She said that they don't have that. She asked if he saw the riot last month. Howard said he did. She said they live in trailers and drink Mountain Dew. She said they drink the limited edition flavors. She said you have to be some kind of sister fucking mongrel to drink that shit.
Ivanka said the biggest celebrity who wants to fuck her now is the My Pillow guy. She said even he's making her his plan B. She said she could have been with Tom Brady if her father had won. She said that she keeps playing it over and over in her head. She said that daddy says that the election was stolen and mother fuckers believe that shit. She said those mother fuckers tried to steal it back.
Howard said he hates hearing her like this. He asked her to tell America if she's going to run for senate. Robin asked the senate of what. Howard said they say she may run against Marco Rubio in Florida. Ivanka said she may run for Senate or President or maybe she'll start an OnlyFans. She said she may start her own business. She said they laugh now but she'll be back.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he never said he was going to charge people for weather on Twitter. He said that he doesn't have it exactly right. He said they were talking about giving exclusive content on Twitter and then you can get special stuff by paying extra. Howard said he's not doing that. Robin said she's not paying for anything on Twitter. Ralph said they always try to be someone else. He said they were first 140 characters but now they're more. Howard said he doesn't use it that much. Ralph said he doesn't tweet at all now. Howard said he goes on and tells his fans to give their number and he'll call them. He said that defeats the purpose of the whole service.
Howard said he uses Instagram to follow some artists. He said he thinks that Twitter and Instagram are the same thing but his wife says they're not. He said he's not sure what the difference is. Ralph said they are different.
Robin said TikTok is a thing that kids were doing but now adults are using it. Howard said that he saw Derek Hough using it and doing a dance and he thought it was pretty good. Robin said it's another thing that adults are ruining for the kids.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she doesn't need to pay for Twitter. She said she just pays for Sirius. She said that she gets the newspaper online like Howard. She said the Foo Fighters are coming up. Howard said she's right about that and he has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he has the Foo Fighters there and ready to play. He said it's great when they're there. Howard said he was listening to the Foo Fighters radio last night. Howard said look at the boys. Dave said hi to Robin and Howard.
Howard asked if they stayed up all night. Dave said that they've been partying for 6 hours. He said it's been quite a coke party. He said everyone actually got 6 hours of sleep and drove in this morning in their minivans.
Howard said every time that he sees these guys play he wants to be in a band. He said that they're so tight. He asked if a musician can be made or do you have to be born a musician. He said Dave was talking about how he was music obsessed when he was growing up. He said maybe it was Chris who said that. He asked if he was born with the talent or was it practice that makes you that good. Dave said he thinks it has to do with wanting it. He said it's more than the talent. He said you have to connect with music and then try to figure it out. He said some kids get into sports and some get into school or science or whatever. He said that some kids are fascinated with music and you spend the rest of your life trying to figure it out. He said it has less to do with talent than it does with the desire to play.
Howard said that Paul McCartney can pick up almost any instrument and play it. He said there are some savants. He said Dave is like that too. He asked if it's something inherent or was it just him practicing over and over. Dave said his father was a classically trained musician. He said he was a flautist. He said he had a naturally born ear. He said his mother sang. He said that there was music around all the time. He said that she wrote a book and she thinks that there's a window between 11 and 14 when it can grab you. He said you're trying to figure out who you are and you connect to music and ie becomes your identity. He said you look for music and listen and learn. He said a few of them are formally trained but a majority of them don't. He said Paul may be able to read some music but he just fell in love with rock and roll. He said when you jam with him he looks like a 12 year old kid jamming in his garage.
Howard said when he was watching the band on Friday night he was watching Pat play. He said they were doing this concert and Dave says he's changing the set list. He asked if that throws Pat off or is he ready for that. Pat said Dave does that all the time. Howard said Taylor is coming in at the right time and he's amazed that he can do that. He asked how he knows how to do that. He said they must have to rehears over and over. Pat said they don't. He said don't solo his track. Howard asked if Pat made mistakes. Pat said he thinks he did alright. Dave said they have a saying that if it gets any better it's going to get worse. He said they just play loose. He said they'll rehearse songs but for the most part they will go up and just jam out for 3 or 4 minutes. He said he'd rather not know what's going to happen. He said they've been together for 25 years. He said you don't want it to be like a Chuck-E-Cheese band. He said you want it to be loose. Howard said they were so tight though. He said they were just so quick.
Howard asked if they practice every day. Pat said they have had Dave surprise them for 10,000 hours so they all know what to expect. Dave said they'll run through something and then talk for 5 minutes. He said they rehears like 3 songs and they think they've got it. He said then they just split. He said he's not sure if anyone likes rehearsing. Taylor said he likes rehearsing. Chris said he does too. Howard said he gets that. Chris said that Taylor would call him and Nate to come in and rehearse. He said they do that without Dave. Dave said this is how the band works. He said Chris, Taylor and Nate are really good. He said that Rami too. He said then there's him and Pat. He said they just throw it all together and it's the juxtaposition of the sweet and salty.
Howard asked if he's saying that he and Pat aren't the professional ones in the band. One of the guys said that they only rehearsed one song yesterday.
Howard asked Rami about playing with Jakob Dylan and what the difference is between the bands. Rami said it's all the same thing. He said that's the end of sentence. Rami said it's more or less the same. Howard said he has to hold him to this for a second. He asked if Dave is easier to work with. Rami said that Jakob and Dave both don't like rehearsing. He said he just wants to keep everything kosher. Rami said that he thinks this band has 10,000 hours of improv and kind of just not being so rehearsed so that's how it comes across at tight.
Howard said it was one of the best concerts he's ever seen. He said it was on Friday night. Howard said it was the Sirius concert on Friday. Taylor wasn't sure which one he was talking about.
Howard said that he has to ask Taylor and Dave who is better between John Bonham or Neil Peart. Taylor said he was discussing this with his buddy John on his way there. He said that it's Buddy Rich. Howard said he's not asking about him. Taylor said he'll go with John Bonham. Howard said John was the best of all time. Taylor said he could play as heavy as anyone but he could have played on a Steely Dan album too. Howard asked Taylor to play the best John Bonham riff ever. Taylor played some of his Zeppelin ''When the Levy Breaks.''
Howard said that he gets such an appreciation for what Taylor does. He said he has a very crisp sound out of his drums. He said it has to be intimidating to be in Foo Fighters. He said that Taylor must have nightmares that Dave is going to be critical. Taylor said he's not though. He said he was talking to John Stamos about that the other day. He said that if the gig goes bad it's the drummer's fault. He said that he only gets nervous when they're recording new music. He said Dave is never a dick about it. He said it is intimidating though. He said he was super intimidated when he joined the band. He said Axl Rose once asked him what it was like to be the drummer for the best drummer of the 90s.
Howard asked Dave about writing a new album and hearing this stuff in his head. He asked if he's open to changes from the band or does he want them to do it the way he hears it. Dave said that he'll record and demo stuff himself. He said he plays all of the instruments. He said he'll put down the tracks and then he'll come up with melodies and stuff. He said then he shows it to everyone. He said if you record stuff yourself you're stuck in your own head. He said everyone plays differently so he'll come with a basic idea and everyone elaborates on their own and that's when it becomes a Foo Fighters song. He said it would just sound like him if he did it all. He said he has to be open to it. He said early on he wasn't that open to it but he had to open up and let them do their thing. He said once he opened up and let them do their thing that's when it turns into what it does. He said he got the fuck out of the room and let them do their thing and this is how this new album came about. He said just hang out with him for 2 hours and you see how overbearing he is. He said he has to walk out and make some barbecue or chili or something.
Howard said he thinks this new album is phenomenal. He said some of the riffs are going to be legendary. He said that's hard to do after 25 years. He said that they come up with new hooks and it's not that easy to do. He said he thinks this new album has those fucking hooks. He asked how much it's killing them that they can't go out on tour. Dave said it's been so long now. He said they're doing Zoom concerts and stuff. He said that he wanted to say fuck that Zoom shit but after 6 months he had to give in. He said they did a benefit show first and played at the Trubador. He said they played in front of their road crew. He said he figured they were going to hate them. He said that they got on stage and did their thing and he didn't care that no one was there. He said life was almost back to normal. He said then he got into it. He said they did a Live at the Roxy thing and that was like 2 hours with no one there. He said he's so used to saying ''Let me hear it!'' to the audience and he said it anyway. He said that he got crickets. He said it's been a while. He said he loves making records and doing this stuff but the stage and big shows are where they shine. He said that's their thing.
Howard said Chris Rock was talking to Gayle King and to him the audience is like the instrument to him. He said he thought about them because the crowd lights you up. He said you can amp it up even more if they're not doing it. Dave said they write the set list for the audience. He said they want to hit them with 5 songs that they sing along to. He said then they turn the lights on to see the crowd. He said it shrinks the venue down and makes it more intimate. He said they do another 2 and a half hours. He said you hit them with more hits and that's the way it should be. He said he thinks it will come back some day. He said human beings have to do that.
Dave said he wrote an article about how human beings need that communal experience to know you're not alone. He said when people sing the same song together that brings people together. He said that it's magic when it happens.
Howard said the other night he was watching the concert and it was weird to see but it was good too. He said he just saw one camera. He said he was just watching the one camera. He said he loved that. He said even the patter between them was great. He said he really thought it worked. Dave said it was fun. He said they weren't really looking forward to it but they sort of practiced.
Dave said he hasn't cut his hair in a year and he can't even see his guitar. Howard said he's the same way. He said he's afraid of COVID. Dave said it looks good. One of the guys said he looks like Brian May. Howard said he doesn't want to look like Brian May. He said no offense. He said you should see his pubes. He said it's the same do down there. Dave asked if it looks like he's sitting on Brian May's shoulders. Howard said that's it.
Howard asked how often Dave will change the set list in the middle of the show. Dave said it depends on the audience. He said there are times that he'll call people on stage. He said that they may have someone with a sign that says they want to play something. He said he has cocktails on stage so that might affect it. Taylor said he's drinking Jagermeisters. Dave said it's good for the throat. Howard said he thinks it is just like chewing gum. Howard said he could choke on that. Dave said that would be a rock & roll way of dying.
Dave said they have people who hold up signs in the audience and he'll bring someone up to do something. He said he's fine with them being awful or great. He said that's rock & roll.
Howard said the band just got nominated for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. He asked if it's bullshit or a good thing. Pat said it's the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame so it's cool.
Howard asked who they would want inducting them if they get in. He said he can't imagine they won't get in the first time. He said it would be laughable if they didn't. Howard asked who they want to induct them. Dave said Howard has to do it. Howard said no way. He said he had to induct Bon Jovi. He said he wanted to kill himself when he did that. He asked him to leave him alone.
Dave said they haven't had this discussion. He said this band started with this demo tape he did 25 years ago. Dave said he played everything. He said he called it Foo Fighters because he didn't want anyone to know it was him. He said he wanted them to be surprised when they heard it was just him. He said one of the reasons he did that is because someone gave him a record by this artist named Clark Kent. He said it sounded a lot like The Police. He said it was Stuart Copeland. He said that when you got it you wondered who this guy was and then you hear it was Stuart. He said that inspired him to start Foo Fighters. He said he thinks that Stu would be a great guy to induct them. He said he can make a speech. Howard said this is interesting to him. Dave said this is unofficial to him. Howard said Taylor is in on this. He asked who it is in the band who has the balls to say it can't be Stuart Copeland. Howard asked Pat who he thinks. Pat said Dave's Mom should do it. Howard said this is so true. He said he's with Pat. He said he wants his mother up there. Dave said he'll ask. He said Pat's always right.
Howard asked if the guys saw the Phoebe Bridgers thing with David Crosby. He said that Phoebe tried to smash her guitar on Saturday Night Live and David thought that was lame. He asked what they think. Dave said you have to understand that for the last 10 years every interview he does they ask him if rock is dead. He said he doesn't think so. He said he has 50,000 people freaking out on stage. He said every year they ask him this. He said in the last year there's a return of guitars in music. He said Miley Cyrus is one. He said there are moments when you see rock and roll coming back. He said that people are seeing that it's cool. He said he saw that performance and talked to his mom about it. He said that she asked what he thought about Phoebe. He said she has a beautiful voice. He said his mom loved it too. He said he thinks they were just doing it to end the song. He said he has smashed guitars. He said in Nirvana it was every fucking night. He said that his drums had holes in them because Curt was chopping at them. He said it feels fucking good when you do it.
Howard asked about the time that Krist threw his guitar up and knocked himself out. He said he likes to see the guitar win once in a while. Dave said that Krist is huge. He said he's like 6'8'' and he plays this bass that's really heavy. He said they were at the MTV awards in 1992 and they were smashing shit. He said Krist threw this thing up in the air and it got lost in the stage lights. It came back down and hit him in the head. He said he had to crawl off stage. He said that Krist got hit in the head and they thought he was under the stage or something. He said that they found him and he was drinking champagne with Brian May back stage.
Howard said Dave broke his leg and played with a broken leg. Dave said he was fucking wasted. He said it's adrenaline actually. He said that he ended up jumping off the stage and broke his leg. He said it was embarrassing. He said he just ate shit in front of 60,000 Swedish people. He said that they pulled him off and he had dislocated his ankle. He said that he wanted to go finish the show but he had to have this guy hold his ankle the whole time. He said that is his favorite show to play. He said it was funny in a way. He said that's what this band is all about. He said that's why it was so great. He said there was nothing that was going to stop them from doing that show.
Howard asked how weird fame is. He said he read that the first guy who visited him there in the hospital was Prince Harry. He asked what he was doing there. Dave said it was actually the drummer of Coldplay. He said he was getting texts from everyone. He said the guy from Coldplay, Will, came to visit him. He said then Prince Harry came to give him a gift. He said it was his big hotel suite. He said that he had his nanny there and no one knew that he was the prince of England. He said he brought him this thing to hold his iPad to watch movies and stuff.
Howard asked if he hangs with Prince Harry a lot. Dave said that they have hung out with him. He said that he once smacked Taylor in the face. Taylor said that pissed him off. He said they had flown over to do a show for some sports thing. He said he was so frazzled and he walked in and asked how he was doing. He said he wasn't able to wake up so he just slapped him across the face. He said he was like ''You mother fucker!'' He asked if he was awake now. He said yes. He said he got slapped in the face by a prince so that's kind of cool but at the time he was pissed.
Howard said the odds of being in a band are like a zillion to one. He asked if they wake up and wonder what would have happened if they weren't in this band. Dave said there's a documentary about the band Anvil. He said they never got their break. He said they were there but never got the big break. He said the film follows the today. He said they're still going for it. He said this was like 5 years ago. He said there's a guy still delivering food but he's still playing every night after work. He said that you just can't stop doing it if you're that into it. He said it doesn't matter what you do during the day. He said he wakes up every day thinking they still get to do this. He said no one there takes it for granted.
Howard said everyone that makes it has insane drive. He said they have nothing to fall back on and that must be what it takes. He said that's the way it has to be. Taylor said that's what Howard did. Howard said he has no back up plan.
Howard asked if it's hard on the family when they go out on tour. He said it has to be tough. Dave said it's one of the things about the last year that's been good. He said that they broke that cycle of going out on tour. He said it's been a year of being at home and making lasagna and helping with home schooling and stuff. He said he thinks that they got to a point where they can determine and dictate what they want to do. Dave said back in 1998 or whenever they would go out on tour for 2 months and come home for 10 days. He said now they can do it comfortably. He said to make it last this long you have to be in control. He said when they can go out they're going to go overboard.
Taylor said their wives and kids have never wanted them to go tour on tour more than now.
Howard asked if they calculate in their heads about how much they're not making. Dave said Nate was their first accountant. Nate said they had a meeting last year about their concert. He said that they had a listing of how it was going to play out and he found it and cried. He said he showed it to his wife and said ''Look at this...'' He said then you crumple it up and throw it out.
Taylor said he doesn't think about that really. He said they're just lucky they get to play and be dads at home and not worry. He said there are people who are really freaking out right now. Howard said he gets that. He said he has to think that the tour was worth a lot of money. He said they can always make money. He said he thinks that they'll be like the Rolling Stones. Dave said you don't want to see that. Taylor played a song really slow and said that's what it'll be like.
Howard said the guys are going to do ''Shame, Shame'' today. He said he loves this song. He said it really gets into you. He asked what the story is there. Dave said that the drum pattern is really simple. He had Taylor play it. He said they do this snapping thing in it. He said they recorded the album in this old house and there were wood floors in there. He said he did this weird thing over it and it sounded like a meth head doing tap dancing. He said they layered all of that over each other. Dave said he heard it in his head kind of like snapping.
Howard said the placement of the drums in the house really mattered. Dave said they had to be at the top of the stairs. Taylor said it was all about that stairwell sound. Howard said you could put it in afterward. Dave said it's one of the cool thing about not recording in a studio. He said it turns into an experience when you do it in an old house. He said they have done that with their different albums. He said it's the environment influencing the outcome. He said if you're bummed out in a cold and dark place the album might sound like that. He said if you're happy then it might sound happy.
Howard said he says that the house was haunted. Dave said he's not into that stuff usually but that house did seem a little off. Howard asked if they saw ghosts. Dave said he didn't see any. He said it's a weird feeling that you have someone behind you all the time and weird things happen. Howard said that weird person is Pat. Dave said he lived in this house 10 years ago. He said that he rented it while his house was being worked on. He said his daughter would see things in that house. Howard asked why she can't get her camera and record it. Dave said she was just 3.
Howard said he thinks he saw them play ''Shame, Shame'' on Saturday Night Live. He said that song was a monster. He said that it has to be tough to sell albums now and it's all about getting a song sold. Dave said he doesn't understand that stuff now. He said they're like Abraham Lincoln with that stuff. He said they just make songs and they'll see how loud people sing it at concerts.
Howard asked about the three women back there as background singers. He asked how they pick them. Dave said that they sort of met through their producer Greg Kirsten. He said they came in to do some backing vocals for them and it sounded so good they just keep them. He said with this album they're just as much a part of the band as the rest of them. He said it adds this other orchestral element to the band. Dave said it's Barbara, Samantha and Laura. Howard asked them if they like being in the band and if they have any stories to share about the band. They just laughed and said they're all great guys. Howard said he didn't want to hear that. Howard asked if they rehearse separately. The women said they rehearse in the car on the drive over. Howard asked to hear their rehearsal. The women sang a little bit of ''Making a Fire.'' Dave said trust him they're really good.
Howard asked if it matters what instruments they play and if the different brands sound that different. Dave said he's asking the wrong person. He said he'll play any drum set or guitar. He said Chris and Pat are the guys to ask. Howard asked Chris and Pat. Pat said he learned a long time ago that no matter what he plays he always just sounds like him. He said you can give him Brian May's whole set up and he'll still sound the same. He said that it doesn't matter at all. Howard said he loves that answer.
Howard said that they're going to have some fun now. He said they're going to do 3 songs today. He asked if they're nervous. Dave said it feels right and nice. He said that they're fine. Howard asked if Pat misses playing with Nirvana. Pat said that he, Dave and Krist get together and play sometimes. Dave said they actually recorded some stuff together at the house they were recording in. Howard asked if it's too painful to think about the old stuff. Pat said it makes him sad. Dave said there are times when you're driving and you hear something. He said his daughter asked to go for a drive and they were driving around Hollywood and it was like 8 at night. He said ''Come As You Are'' came on the radio and she stared singing it. He said she sang every word. He said that she knew every word and he's never played it for her. He said that feels good. Taylor said that kids love Nirvana. Dave said Harper asked him if Curt was shy. He said he told her he was. He said it was an interesting discussion about Curt. He said it was great. Howard said that's interesting because he was able to go up in front of thousands of people. Dave said that's exactly what his daughter said.
Howard asked if Dave is shy off stage. Dave said he is not shy. The guys were all laughing about the shy thing. Howard said it's quite remarkable when you think about Dave's story. He said it's amazing that he and Pat were in this band and now they're in another monstrous band. Howard said there aren't many guys who have been in more than one band that's huge. Dave said Foo fighters may not be as big as Nirvana. He said that there have been some guys like Eric Clapton. Taylor said he thinks of them as The Wings of Grunge.
Howard asked Dave if Pearl Jam asked him to be their drummer and he turned the down. Dave said Tom Petty did but not Pearl Jam. He said that he knew those guys but they never called and asked him to play. He said Tom Petty did and he did Saturday Night Live with him. He said they all got along so well. He said he was recording the first Foo Fighters album at the time. He said that Tom was a great guy. Howard said he was going to do an interview with him but he wanted to get him in the studio. He said he waited too long and never got him in there. Dave said he was really cool. He said he was offered the shot but he didn't want to go right back to drumming after Nirvana. He said it would have reminded him of being in Nirvana.
Howard said Nirvana was a threesome and then they brought in Pat. He asked if that was weird. Dave said no. He said at one point they had another guitarist in like 1989 or 90. He said it didn't seem weird to him. He said that Curt thought they needed another guitar player to fill out some of the guitar parts. He said Pat was in this band called The Germs. He said they all worshiped them. He said that Curt said he found Pat Smear from the Germs and he was shocked that he was still alive. He said that he imagined a big fat junky mess but he wasn't at all. He said the last year of that band made the band a lot more fun to be in with Pat being in it.
Howard asked if it was weird for Pat to go into that band later in the game. Pat said it was weird at first but it got great pretty quickly. Dave said they put him on stage the first time at Saturday Night Live. Pat said Curt asked him to be in the band and he knew Courtney so she must have given him an endorsement. Howard asked if he had to audition.
Dave kept saying that he's not that great at playing but the guys were all saying he's great.
Howard asked if the guys played for thousands of hours to learn. Taylor said that once rock and roll was it then there was nothing else but girls. Howard said he was the same way with music but he never sat down and learned to play. He said that's his biggest regret. Dave said just play along to an AC/DC record or something. Howard said he wants to be good enough to play with them though. Dave said this is the band you don't have to be that good at to play in.
Howard asked if Dave got to hang at Paul McCartney's house. Dave said yes. Howard said that has to be the ultimate experience. He asked if he talks to him about writing songs. He said he must have had a million questions. Dave said he would never ask that. He said he can't imagine a more awkward conversation. He said Paul walks through life as Paul McCartney. He said he'll diffuse that awkward kind of stuff and you wind up just hanging out and not asking how you wrote ''Let it Be.''
Howard asked Dave why he was there. Dave said he was just hanging. Howard said he heard that Taylor Swift was there too. Dave laughed and said she was. He said that they asked him to play and he said he didn't play piano. He said there were just left handed guitars in his house. He said Taylor Swift got on piano and started playing this thing. He said he had smoked some pot and that rarely happens. He said she was doing ''Best of You'' on piano and he had no idea what to do. He said he had to sit next to her and sing. He said she was singing it beautifully and he was screaming the song. Howard asked why he would smoke weed at Paul's house because he thinks he'd want to be sober. Dave said he was a pot head when he was a kid. He said he was stuck to the bong. He said he'd have panic attacks so he stopped. He said that he will occasionally smoke before bed. He said he'll take a couple of hits and he'll end up staying up all night watching YouTube videos. He said he just can't do it.
Howard said the last time he smoked weed he stayed up watching Liberace on David Letterman all night. He said it was really good.
Howard asked Dave about being on with Mick Jagger on Saturday Night Live. Dave said it was awesome. He said it was fucking Mick Jagger. He said he was really funny. He said he was going to host the season finale. He said that he got the call from Lorne and asked if they could be the backing band. He said absolutely. He said he saw that they had to do a show in Jersey. He said he called his manager and he said that they can't back out of this show. He said they did this thing where they sound checked, jumped on a helicopter and then flew back to do Saturday Night Live. He said they went and played the season finale party after that. He said they did cover songs and Mick did cover songs. He said it was amazing.
Howard asked if Mick is the greatest front man ever. Taylor said he was up there doing his Mick Jagger thing at 10 in the morning at rehearsal at Saturday Night Live. The guys spent a couple of minutes talking about how great the Stones are.
Howard said he's totally blown out about Keith going out and trashing Mick and they still play together. Dave said they'll be that way in 20 years too.
Howard said they haven't done a song yet and they've been talking for hours. Howard said the ladies are ready to pass out back there. He said the two women who are married have gotten a divorce already. Howard asked if they can start with ''Shame, Shame.'' Dave said yeah. Howard asked what that guitar is he plays. Dave said he has one favorite. He said it's a Gibson Trini Lopez. Dave said it's a guitar from the 60s that was a signature model. He said Gibson wanted to do a tribute guitar so that's what this one is. He said he doesn't know shit about guitars. Howard said he wears it very low. He said he seems Billie Joe Armstrong doing that too. He said there's a certain look you want and that's what it is. Dave said it must be that. He said it makes you look like a gun slinger or something. Howard said he's into that look. He said they all do that in the band.
Howard asked Taylor about his drums and what he likes. Taylor said Gretsch. Howard asked to hear Dave's guitar and what that sounds like. Dave played some for him.
Howard had the guys do a song. They performed ''Shame, Shame.'' After the song Howard said that was beautiful. He said the ladies did a great job. He said he likes that thing that Barbara is playing. Dave said that's in place of the snappy thing in the album. He said that Barbara is a wicked drummer too. Howard had her play that thing. She played it a little bit. Howard said that's nice.
Howard said that's an instrument that he could take up. He said that song is so hooky He asked if that came to him in the shower. Dave said when he makes the demo things he'll record like 25 ideas and drives around listening to them. He said they come to you when you're taking a shower or driving around. Howard said it's just so good.
Howard asked what the shame is. Dave said that everyone has felt that emotion in their life. He asked if he saw the video they made. Howard said he did. Dave said that this woman who made the video had never made a rock video before. He said that he had this idea from a dream he had as a kid and he was remembering that dream as he wrote the song. He said he wanted this woman to visualize that dream. He said now he can watch that crazy nightmare he had as a child.
Howard asked Dave if he watches football. Dave said he didn't watch much. Howard asked if they came close to doing the Super Bowl a few years ago. He asked what happened. Dave said he doesn't know. He said they wanted a rock band and he did talk to them. He said they just didn't want them to do it apparently.
Dave said they picked a song just for Howard so he wants to get to that. Howard said he wants to do all three songs. Dave said he picked this song just for Howard. He said during Hanukkah he thought about how they could do a song. He said they wanted to do a cover song each night of Hanukkah. He said Rami is the only Jewish guy in the band. He said he wanted to do a cover song by an artist who is Jewish so their producer has this book called Jews who Rock. He said they wanted to pick the ones that they don't know. He said Drake is Jewish and Canadian. Howard asked if he's outing people. Dave said it's too late. He said the one he was most excited about was Leslie West. Howard said he was Leslie Weinstein. Dave said they found Leslie in the book and they had to cover Mississippi Queen. He said that it's just him and his producer who did it. He said the next day they get a call from Leslie's manager who says that Leslie saw it and thought it was great. He said he wanted him to call him. Dave said Leslie was into it and they were going to call but then Leslie passed away. He said they waited 4 days and Leslie passed away and they didn't get a chance to talk to him.
Howard said that has to be the worst feeling in the world. He said he has had that too. Howard asked where Leslie falls in the best guitar players in the world. He said Mountain was so great. Howard said Leslie has to be in the top 5 or 6. Dave said this is a question for Pat. He asked Pat what he thinks. Pat said he's one of those guys who you can tell is playing when you hear him play. He said he also has a song that everyone knows.
Howard said knowing Leslie was a pure joy in his life. He said he was going to be his band leader in a late night show he was going to do. Dave said that would have been so great.
Dave said this next song is for Leslie and Howard. They went right into ''Mississippi Queen.''
After the song Howard said that was fantastic. He said they know the right song to pick. He said doing that song on this show is masterful. He said they had such a history with Leslie. He said he can feel it that Leslie is with us right now. He said he must be smiling right now. He asked if that's a hard riff to play. Dave said he wasn't playing this time. Pat was playing Howard said Chris and Pat had fun with that. Howard said that must make you feel like you have the biggest dick in the world. Chris said it does. He said that it's incredible. He said you just have to try to get it close.
Howard asked if it's hard to get that song together. Dave said they did it like 2 or 3 times yesterday.
Howard said that they have to talk about ''All My Life.'' He said they have a music channel there on SiriusXM. He said welcome to the guys for that. He said he's so proud to be there with them. He said he never imagined that they'd get to where they are now. He said that he was excited that they have their own channel there. He said they were saying that this song ''All My Life'' is the first song they wanted to play on their new channel. Howard asked why that is. Dave said he thinks from the time they wrote and recorded it that it's been the best opening song. He said that they open with it still. He said it's like the theme from Jaws that everyone knows. He said you start that song off and everyone knows it. He said it's one of those songs that he loves playing every time they play it. He said the audience loves that riff at the start of the song. Howard said that riff gets the audience amped up. Dave said absolutely. He said no matter where they play it it's always working. Howard had the guys play ''All My Life.''
After the song Howard said he doesn't know what to say. He said that's why he wants to learn to play guitar. He said he wants to be in a band like that. He said that is magnificent. Robin said that was great. Howard said that Taylor is a mother fucker on those drums. Robin said it's amazing that Dave can sing like that. Howard asked if it hurts to sing like that. Dave said not at all. He said he went to a vocal guy once and thought they were going to tell him to stop. He said the guy stuck the thing down his throat and said it looks good. He said he doesn't do warm ups. He asked if he should and told the guy that he drinks some beer and takes some Advil. He said he's 52 now and he has some aches and pains. Howard said he didn't know he was 52.
Howard asked if that song is about going down on a woman. Dave said kind of. Howard said he's gone down on some women and he never wrote a song about it. Dave said Howard has made quite a bucket list this morning about what he wants to do.
Howard said he sings something about fingernails. Dave said he was just writing words to say. Howard said he sang that fingernails are good. He said they are good. He said they're tools. Dave said he was trying to come up with something once and Nate told him that not every song has to be Imagine. Howard said that Dave must love giving oral sex so much that he wrote a song about it. Dave said that may have been the first song he wrote after Nate told him that.
Howard said he wants to sell the new album now. He said just listen to some of these songs from the album. He said listen to the energy. He said this song is ''Making a Fire.'' Howard said they have something here. He said listen to this one. He said this riff cooks. He played some of their song ''Cloudspotter.'' Howard said that's what he likes. He said he loves that fucking riff. Taylor said that was called ''Vagina Licker'' but they changed it. He said he was just kidding. <>Dave said that riff is from his love of LL Cool J's ''Going back to Cali.'' he said it's basically the same thing. Howard said he has to hear that again. He played the song again.
Howard asked if someone threw in a riff from Cat Scratch Fever in that song. Dave said he did. Howard asked what he was up to there. Dave said they have done that before. He said when you play that to a 19 year old kid they have no idea what it is. Howard asked why he threw it in. Dave said they didn't throw it in last time they did it so he just did it. Howard asked if he loves that song. Dave said it is kind of an iconic song.
Howard played more of the new songs from the new album. He played some ''Waiting on a War.'' Howard said this is the title track from the Medicine at Midnight album. Howard said he could talk this one up. He let that song play for a short time. He said he thinks they outdid themselves. He said it's a shame they can't go out playing live. Robin said they will. She said they're getting closer.
Howard played some ''No Son of Mine'' and said they have strong stuff here. He asked if this is about eating a woman's ass. Dave said yes and Nate did tell him not every song has to be Imagine. Howard played some ''Holding Poison'' from the new album. Howard said he has to get in a fucking band. He said he loves it.
Robin said that Dave took those glasses off stand threw them down and that was rock and roll. Howard said that he thinks Dave could get Robin. Robin laughed.
Howard said this is a band. He said he knows a good band. Robin said play your own instruments. Howard said Robin is right. He gave the guys a plug for the new album Medicine at Midnight. He said he knows what that means but Dave should explain it. Dave said that it's just a nice phrase. He said medicine is some kind of healing and midnight is when you're trying to sleep. He said that you might smoke pot or something. He said it's that urgent feeling that you need something now.
Howard asked if Dave has his drinking under control. Dave said ask his band mates. Howard asked if they're concerned. Taylor said he's awesome when he drinks and goes on stage. Howard said way to go Taylor. He said he can tell he really loves Dave and is concerned for his well being. Dave said that he should see his pool in his back yard. He said he needs him around.
Howard gave the guys more plugs and said they have a channel there on SiriusXM on channel 105. Howard said they got into some real inside stuff on the show he was listening to last night. He said Chris was talking about a lot of stuff from his early days. Chris said that was fun. Howard said it was kind of cool to hear that stuff.
Howard said that he gets off on that stuff. He said he wanted Chris to take out his guitar and show what he practiced over and over to get good at it. Dave said he's a lot better than what he plays in Foo Fighters. He said he's a really good guitar player. Howard asked him to take out his guitar and rip something out. Chris said his brother showed him this kick in 1987 or so. He said this is the one he has as his go to. He played that lick. He said that's his brother right there. Howard said very nice. Howard asked how long he has to practice that. Chris said he's still working it out so he doesn't know.
Howard asked to hear some Smoke on the Water. Chris went right into that. He said Richie Blackhorn doesn't get his due. He said that all of his riffs are basically a version of that.
Howard said that he should sit down on the Foo Fighters channel and do that. He said he wants to hear the top 5 guitar licks and he'd love to hear that on the channel. He said he needs to hear these things. Chris said they do have a channel there so who's in? No one said a word. Chris said Howard has to be in.
Howard asked Chris to play some Hendrix but he played some Jimmy Page. Chris played some Hendrix too. He played some Van Halen too.
Howard said come on man, lets do it! Chris said that joining Taylor's band a few years ago made him go back and learn that stuff. Howard said he must have gotten laid like crazy being able to play that. Chris said not really. Chris played some Guns N Roses stuff for him too.
Howard said this has been quite a morning. He said they must be tired. Dave said he's ready to do a whole show. Howard said he won't ask Rami to play any Wallflowers stuff because he doesn't want him to get upset.
Robin asked what they thought of the band performing in pods. Dave said that was the Flaming Lips. He said he's wondering what happens when you have to take a dump.
Howard said he's so happy they were on this morning. He said that they did it again and came up with some awesome rock. He gave them some plugs and Dave said that Howard has a big part in why they are still here. He said he played Everlong acoustically on the show and that gave them another 20 years of being in the band. Howard told him to stop it. Taylor said it was Howard and David Letterman who made them a big band in America. Howard said Letterman loves the Foos. He said that they played his last show. He said they were in tuxedos. He said that was something. Dave said next time they do Howard's show they'll get dressed up. Howard said they come in like shlubs for him but they got dressed up for Letterman.
Howard asked Dave why he thinks ''Times Like These'' is the best song he ever wrote. Dave said he wrote it like 18 years ago and it was a personal moment. He said over the past few years it has applied to a lot of current situations. He said they get asked to play it. Howard said it holds up. Howard said the catalog is great. He said he's very proud of them for having this channel there. He said he thinks they consider him a seventh Foo Fighter. Dave said he would say yes. He said he is an honorary Foo. He said Howard could hang it up and go out on tour with them.
Howard said one time he went on stage with Joe Walsh and Leslie West and they turned off their amps and had his amp up and he tried playing. He said he ran off stage embarrassed and ran out into the parking lot.
Howard said he is a huge supporter of theirs and so is Letterman. Howard asked who they would save if they had to save just one of them. Dave said he's going to ask Rami to answer that. Howard said he can't even talk about the Wallflowers. Rami said you'd throw him off the boat and keep Howard and Letterman on. Taylor said Howard and Letterman would have to fight to the death. Howard said that's a cop out. Dave said that this is chicken or the egg. Howard said you have to choose one. Dave said it's a question you can't answer. He said there are some things you can't answer. He said you just don't know. Robin said if Letterman was asking the question what would he say. Dave said he'd say that Howard has to go.
Howard said they had a perfect morning other than that answer. Howard said they took so long to answer that both of them died.
Howard gave the guys more plugs and thanked them again for coming on. Robin did too. Howard said he'll let them go to bed. Dave said the last time they hung out was at his birthday party. Howard said that was 7 years ago. Howard sang ''Shame, Shame'' to that. Fred played the ''Shame'' Game of Thrones clip after that. Howard let the guys go after that.
Howard asked if Robin was having sexual feelings toward Dave when he threw his glasses off. Robin said that's what ''Sophie Bridges'' should have done on Saturday Night Live. Howard said they've had quite a week this week. He said they were busy with Kristen Wiig and the Foo fighters. He said they didn't get to Ronnie's top 5 women on TV list. He said they did get to the election erection thing.
Howard read some fan feedback about the Beetlejuice song they played yesterday. He said a lot of people loved that.
Howard said JD took a hit in the email. He read some of the feedback about his weight. JD is up at 215 pounds or so. People were also wondering how he doesn't know how tall he is.
Howard said people were really coming down on him. JD asked what he's going to do. Howard asked if he's inspired by that. JD said he is inspired to never open his email again. Howard said his final email is from JD's chair that asked him to please get off of him. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 11:35am.