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Howard and the guys were back from their Christmas vacation this morning. Howard started the show talking about the big buildup clip for the lineup for the show. Howard said you won't have to sit through that again. He said he's not sure he's going to make it through 5 more years. He said today is already a problem. He said he's been off for 2 weeks and he's in vacation mode. He said he's all jacked up and his mind was on the news about this guy Trump who is apparently the president and he was bullying a guy to keep being president. Robin asked how people are okay with this. She said there are people who follow him and love him and don't see this said anything to be concerned about. Howard said it's criminal. Robin said it's unconstitutional.
Howard said it reminded him of the liar that Jon Lovitz played on Saturday Night Live. He said he was throwing things out to this guy about the voting machines and asking if he'd go along with it. He said the guy would say no and Trump would try to sway him to bring up the voting and it made him sound like a mob boss. He said the thing that's really pissing him off is that the government can't get the Coronavirus vaccine out. He said that he has a friend in Florida who says you can walk into any pharmacy and get a Coronavirus vaccine. He said then this delusional mother fucker Pat Robertson is saying that Trump is delusional. He said he's not sure what's happening in this country.
Howard said it's like third world stuff going on right now in this country. He said this guy Ted Cruz has gone psycho too. He said even Mitch McConnell is saying that it's enough.
Howard said the reason we're stuck in this position is because of the electoral college thing. Robin said she's not sure why our whole fate relies on Georgia. Howard said it's unbelievable. He said we're all locked in our houses and this fucking guy is trying to say that he won the election. He said go back to fucking Florida. Howard said this shit has to be criminal. He said we have to get going.
Howard said he has tape of Pat Robertson that came out while they were off. He said this is the best. He said this is the guy who would sit and tell you that there's an imaginary man in Heaven telling him that we're all going to be dead if gay people blow each other. He said even this guy is saying that Trump is delusional. Robin asked what you make of one delusional guy saying another one is delusional. Howard said you know we're fucked when Pat Robertson is the voice of reason.
Howard said this guy who lives in an alternate universe is saying that the president is in an alternate universe. He said this is the guy who blames the Coronavirus on gay people. He said he blames the mass shooting in Las Vegas on gay people. He said last year he said that he was talking to god and he told him that Trump is going to win this election. He also said that in 5 years mankind is going to be wipe out by an asteroid. Howard said he's not making this shit up. He said he's been saying that he world is going to end since 1982. He said even this guy says that Trump is nuts. Howard and Robin cracked up.
Howard played the clip of Pat Robertson saying that Trump lives in an alternate reality. He also said that it's time to call it quits.
Howard said this guy is talking about himself in that clip too. He said he's lying to people and making shit up too. He said even he says that the president is full of shit.
Howard did his impression of Pat and made up a bunch of nonsense. He said when he heard this tape he thought this guy would know. He said this is the guy who would know about living in an alternate universe. He said this is the guy who tells you that if you send him 50 bucks God will make tornadoes go away.
Howard said you can't bullshit a bullshitter. He said he knows bullshit when he sees it. He did more of his impression of Pat and had him talking about his bullshit about god and the devil. He had Pat talking about the loony people in this country who go along with this Trump stuff.
Howard said Pat doesn't say anything about being wrong about God telling him that Trump was going to win the election. Howard did more of his Pat impression and had him making up stories about what God told him about the election. He had Pat blaming everything on the gays.
Howard went back into his Pat Robertson impression and talked about Wonder Woman. He had Pat talking about how this is what happens when you make a Jew Wonder Woman. He had Pat saying that's what God told him.
Howard had him saying more about the alternate world that Trump lives in. He was talking about the movie and this CGI they have in movies. Howard, as Pat, said you can't tell who has horns anymore.
Howard had Pat talking about the movie and how Wonder Woman was created by Zeus and things like that. He had Pat talking about her running around with that accent and using the CGI to make the noses smaller on these Jewish Wonder Women.
Howard had Pat talking about the President being a kook and that's coming from the king of kooks. He said that's pretty bad when Pat Robertson calls you a kook. Robin said by the time it gets to him then everyone should be getting it.
Howard said Pat was born Marion Gordon Robertson. He said he has a woman's name. He said he claims that his brother would call him Pat because they were always patting his cheeks. He said that he stick with that nickname Pat.
Howard did more of his Pat impression and talked about how no one would send a check to someone named Marion. He said that he had to change his name. Robin said he has a Pat Robertson Jr. but that's not even his name. He said he'd have to be Marion to be a Junior.
Howard said the whole world is so fucked up. He did an ad for Steven Singer Jewelers who were sponsoring the show today. He did an ad for them.
Howard said anyone who loves music knows that he loved Leslie West. He said he and Leslie would regularly write each other. He said it was on and off. He said he had just been in touch with Leslie. He said it was just like 3 weeks before he died. He said Leslie told him he had this idea to re-record the Mountain songs. He said Leslie told him he wanted to remake the songs and he told him that was a great idea. He said that might turn kids on to the songs again. He said the reason he thinks Mountain never became the big band it should have been is because they were at Woodstock and they were under the same manager as Jimi Hendrix. He said for some reason they didn't let them put them in the movie. He said the manager said they weren't going to put them in there because there wasn't enough money. He said Country Joe and the Fish were in it but not Mountain. Howard said he's not sure what happened there but they weren't in the movie.
Howard said he had notes about Leslie but he must have thrown them out. He said he didn't throw them out but he can't find them. He said give him a second. He said he put some thought into this. He said he hates this. He asked when this contract is over already. He said that he's not sure why he would do this to himself.
Howard said he'll have to wing it. He said it's amazing that he can sit down and lose things so rapidly. He said he has to take a break and find them. He said he has to find his notes. Howard went into his Pat Robertson voice and said a homosexual must have snuck in there and stole them.
Howard said it's so weird that they disappeared. He said he'll be right back. They played some music while Howard went to search.
After the music break Howard came back and did a live commercial read and they went into a commercial break.
After the commercial break they played Lit's ''My Own Worst Enemy.'' Howard came back and talked about what an awful name for a band that is. He said Mountain was a great name. He said Leslie West died over vacation. He said he was one of the greatest musicians that ever lived. He said he was saying earlier that Mountain would have been bigger if they were in the Woodstock movie. He said their manager made the dumbest move ever. He said it was stupid.
Howard said Leslie kind of laughed it off. He said he didn't care. He said the greatest story is that Leslie had an uncle who basically took all of his money in an didn't give it to him because he would have used it on drugs. He said his uncle saved it for him. He said that's a great uncle.
Howard said Leslie told him that he had moved to Florida. He said he lived in New York for a long time and he liked that he was there. He said Leslie had found this house and he had his wife with him. He said Leslie moved during the COVID thing. He said he didn't die from COVID just so you know.
Howard said Leslie told him he found this great house and he moved down there. He said he was so happy living that last month of his life. He said this was a month before he died. He said he could tell that he was happy. He said he was happy for him. He said his wife Jenny told him that he went peacefully. He said Leslie asked her to just ask the doctor to give him a big hit of heroin if he's ever in the hospital dying. He said he did hear that they gave him a big dose of morphine so he was happy to hear that. He said Jenny loved Leslie and she loved that character. He said he was something else.
Howard said he's really going to miss Leslie West. He said he has told this story about Leslie a million times. He said he was in high school and he was a loser and lonely. He said no one wanted to be friends with him. He said he'd sit in his room and listen to music and it was kind of heavy metal-ish rock. He said that was Led Zeppelin and bands like that. He said Mountain was one of those bands. He said the reason they got together is because the producer of the band Cream wanted a heavier band than Cream. He said that's what they wanted. He said they pulled it off. He said when you heard this thunderous music then you knew who it was. He said Leslie's guitar had a sound that you knew was his. He said he's not sure what kind of guitar it was but he got a sound that was thunderous. He said they were able to produce some incredible records. He said they would have been even bigger if they had been in that Woodstock movie.
Howard played some of their music to show how great it was. He said his mother hated this music. He said he loved that she hated it. He said it made him feel like a rebel. He said that he had to play it loud and he didn't have headphones to listen in.
Howard said he had to beg his mother for money to buy records. He said once in a while they'd throw him money for an album. He said he had to be judicious when he did buy one. He said he was into The Band and it was warped. He said he sent it away to the record company and it took 9 months to get back to him. He said his mother wouldn't drive him to get a new one.
Howard said Leslie and Mountain were on some TV show where they were performing. He said Leslie was on with a fur coat on during the summer and he was huge. He said he was like 325 pounds and his mother took one look and let out a ''Yech.'' He said he wanted his mother to think he was a bad ass. He said Leslie was a bad ass but that didn't make him a bad ass.
Howard said he loved Leslie West. He said he was his hero. He said he forgot that the way they got to meet Leslie was when Joe Walsh was on the show and he was telling him how he loved Leslie and what a hero he was to him. He said Joe had his phone number and they called him on the air. He said Leslie was listening to the show at the time. He had a clip from that day when they called Leslie for the first time.
Howard said Leslie had been ill. He said he got his leg removed because of diabetes. He said he had cancer but beat that. He said he came on their show once where he was telling them about his diabetes and how he didn't get a hard on anymore. He said this was before Viagra. He said Leslie was a great guest because he was so honest. He said he came on the show and talked about injecting his penis with this stuff to get hard. Howard said this was the greatest. He played a clip where Leslie was talking about doing that injection thing.
Howard said he did a great porky pig impression. He said he has to find that. He said it cracked him up every time. He asked who comes on the radio and talks about injecting their dick. Robin said he just volunteered that. Howard said he was the greatest. Howard had more of Leslie doing his Porky Pig impression. Howard said that was great when he did that.
Howard said Leslie told him about his leg turning blue on a flight and how they had to land the plane early. He said they had to take his leg off because of that. He said you think about Leslie and if he had lived healthy he'd live until 150. Robin said no matter what happened you couldn't take his spirit away. Howard said that's right.
Howard said he was a great guy. He said he's not sure where to begin on how many times he helped out the show. He said many years ago he was offered the job of replacing Joan Rivers on FOX. He said they met with him and asked if he wanted to take over he show. He said he didn't have any interest in it but he did some pilot type situations and Leslie was his band leader. He said he wanted chaos on his show so that was perfect. He said Leslie would wander around the set and things. He said when it came to the music he was great though. He said that Joe Walsh was on the show and passed out. He said Leslie got very upset with Joe about that. He said that when it came to music it was very important to Leslie. He said he was not happy with Joe that day.
Howard said he has a clip from when Ozzy Osbourne was on the show once and talked about Leslie turning him on to cocaine for the first time. He played the clip of Ozzy talking about that.
Howard said Ozzy and Leslie worked together. He said he loves when Ozzy tells a story and you get every other word. He said it's such a great story. He said the way he tells the story is perfect too. Howard said Ozzy does just fine with just a few words.
Howard said Ozzy put out ''Mississippi Queen'' on one of his albums he thinks. He asked the guys if he has that right. He played the original from Mountain. He said that song had everything. He said it had a great riff and everything you need for a hit.
Howard said so many musicians weighed in on the death of Leslie West. He went over a long list of people who wrote about Leslie. He read some quotes from some of them too.
Howard said they were doing a show once and Leslie had a huge stack of Marshall amps at this small show. He said Joe wondered if he was thinking he was at Woodstock.
Howard said he was at a show once and Joe was there and Leslie too. He said they were there to see Sam Kinison. He said they asked him to do a song with them and they were trying to teach him ''Rocky Mountain Way'' back stage. He said they were trying to teach him but when guys are that good they think you understand what they're telling you. He said he wasn't a good guitar player so he had no idea. He said they just know what to do and they think you understand it.
Howard said he got out on stage and he told Joe and Leslie that he wanted his amp turned off. He said they turned his up to full volume and turned theirs off. He said he was the only guitar the audience could hear. He said he walked off stage after the song feeling so humiliated. He said he ended up walking out into the parking lot instead of the dressing room. He said he was just standing there all dressed up like a rock star and he's outside. Robin said Joe found his way back. Howard said Leslie did too. He said he has no sense of direction.
Howard said Leslie told a story about meeting Jimi Hendrix. He played a clip of Leslie talking about that meeting which was the night before Jimi died.
Howard said Leslie played with everyone. He said everyone loved him too. He said that he didn't have any enemies. Howard said Leslie spent about $400,000 on heroin. He had a clip of him talking about that during an interview on his show.
Howard said a lot of hip hop stars liked the song ''Long Red'' from Woodstock. He played some of that song. He said that riff has been used by a lot of hip hop stars. He said that's the greatest because you get paid for that. He said Jay Z used it in one of his hits. Howard played some of that song.
Howard said getting to know Leslie was a triumph in his life. He said he was a pleasant man and a good hearted guy. He said he was a real sweetheart. He said he was always complementing Fred on his guitar work too. Robin said he did a song with him. Fred said he did write and record a song with him. He said that he was nice enough to play lead on that song when they were on the road. He said he knows what a great friend he was and he'll miss him terribly.
Fred said two things he wanted to bring up was about how Deep Purple heard Mountain and that made them change to the band they became. He said they wanted to be a harder rock band and that's when they did it. He said Martin Barre from Jethro Tull also changed his sound because of Leslie. Fred said his sympathies to his wife and everyone from Leslie's family.
Howard asked what it was like to write a song with Leslie. Fred said he just wrote something up when Leslie asked if he had anything. He said that they changed just one word in his lyrics. He said they took that out but it was just a thrill be a part of that. He said it was a thrill to open up for them too.
Fred said what Leslie did with Corky Laing was amazing. He told Howard about how they had come up with Mississippi Queen at a show where they were just improvising during a black out. He said that's when he came up with that song and the rest is history. Howard said that's a good story. Fred said the cow bell was an accident. He said it wasn't supposed to be on the song. He said they needed a count in and they used the cow bell to count it in. He said they thought it sounded so good they just left it in.
Howard said Leslie wanted to be a part of the show and he recorded for Beetlejuice. He played some of the song that they used Leslie for when they had Beetlejuice singing.
Howard said that's Beetle ''I don't know.'' He said Leslie called him and asked if he had any lyrics and that's what he came up with.
Howard said about 60 percent of the time he went on Letterman they'd play Mississippi Queen. He said that's how close he was related to Leslie on the show. He said what a cook song that was to walk out to.
Howard said Leslie was a regular guest on the show too. He said that many of the obituaries pointed that out. He said he was a great guest. Robin said there was some story he told about getting his foot stuck in a train track and how they almost had to cut his foot off.
Howard said Tim from Pig Vomit wants to say something about Leslie. Howard got Tim on and Tim told a story about dealing with Leslie. Howard said Leslie was very generous. Tim said he really was. He said he went on a station up in New England and he played Nantucket Sleigh Ride on Earth Day. He said the song was about killing whales and earth day is about saving whales. He said Leslie said that was the only song about whales that he knew.
Tim said he lost touch with Leslie a while back and he will be missed. He said he was a great guy. Howard played some of the song ''Nantucket Sleigh Ride.'' Robin said she didn't know that was about killing whales. Howard said he didn't either. Howard said he's sure Fred knew it was about whales.
Howard said this song starts out wimpy but it takes off. He said Leslie was always giving him guitars. He said he must have about 7. He said he tried to explain that he doesn't know how to play. Robin said he even gave her one and he told her she had to promise to learn to play it. Howard said it's not that easy.
Howard said he could go on and on about Leslie West. He said he was a big part of their lives. He said that he was generous and loving and a masterful musician. He said he only has great things to say about the guy. He said the only way to finish this obituary is to talk about the last time he was on. He said that was in 2005. He said they were a few months away from coming to satellite radio. He said he performed ''Blowing in the Wind.'' He said this is a great way to remember him right now. He played that performance from 2005.
Howard asked where all of that talent goes. He said that kills him. He said rest in peace. He said he doesn't think you go anywhere but he hopes he's wrong. He said all of that crazy stuff from his life. He said what a life and what music they have. He said they have some stuff up on the app. He said it's not bad enough they lost Eddie Van Halen but now Leslie West. He said what a great guy.
Robin said she was very upset about this and she went on Twitter and asked who killed Mary Ann. She said that she was so angry that she called it COVID 16 instead of 19. Howard said stay off of twitter. He asked her what she's doing on there. Howard said grey have to get Robin off of that.
Howard said Dawn Wells was on the channel 9 show. He said they had a sketch called Gagagain's Island. He said he played Ginger and they were starving to death. He said he smoked a tampon with Bob Denver. He said this was great television. He said he was dressed as a woman smoking a tampon. He said by the end they found out the Skipper was dead and they ate him. He said it was a great sketch. He said they had Dawn Wells and Bob Denver playing their roles from Gilligan's Island to do this. He said they didn't give them a script before hand.
Howard said Dawn Wells was a Miss Nevada beauty pageant winner. He said that she did this in 1959 and beat out 350 other actresses to play Mary Ann. He said Raquel Welch was another one who tried out for the show.
Howard played the theme song from Gilligan's Island. He said that the show was only on for 3 years. Robin said she thought it was a lot more. Howard said it was big in syndication. He said the first season they had a different song. He said they changed the lyrics for the next season so it included the professor and Mary Ann.
Howard said Dawn Wells was arrested when Bob Denver said that she was his marijuana supplier. He said that she had some weed in her car when she was pulled over once and she got in trouble over that. Howard said it's like when Dennis Rodman told Carmen Electra that the woman in his bed must have fallen out of the ceiling.
Howard took a call from Jon Hein audio book who was talking about Gilligan's Island. The guys called in with the clips of Jon talking about that show from his audio book. Howard said what a read that book is. Howard let the guys play the clip and wondered what the concept of that book was. Robin said it was the Jump the Shark book. She said that's what he was talking about in the clips. Howard said he's glad Jon wrote about that.
Howard said he was contacted by the terrorist group ISIS who wants to get a copy of that book to torture people with. Howard said it's things that you already know in that book. He said he could have just written about when the show jumped the shark instead of giving a history of the show.
Howard asked Jon why he didn't do that. Jon said the book lists a bunch of shows and maybe you haven't watched them before. He said the point was to explain when they jumped the shark. He said that when he was recording the book he didn't know it was going to be used later for this kind of thing.
Howard asked how the Harlem Globetrotters got off the island. Jon said there were a lot of people who got off the island and they never had room for everyone. He said they never sent help either. Jon said he was shocked that the show was only on for 3 seasons because he watched it for so many years in syndication.
Jon said the Globetrotters thing was a weird one. He said grey were all able to get off the island and they weren't able to take everyone with them. He said they were also able to play basketball on the island.
Jon said that Mary Ann was modeled after Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz. He said she won that trip for the 3 hour tour. Howard said that's the kind of shitty prize you win on radio giveaways. He said he wouldn't have even gone.
Howard asked Jon what the best episode is. Jon said probably the one where they had the talent show. He said he thinks that's one of the better ones. Howard said he remembers the monkey being like Gilligan's sidekick. Jon said he thinks that the theme song was one of the best. He said they even changed the lyrics.
Howard asked if Jon ever beat off to Mary Ann or Ginger. Jon said he did not but he was a big fan of Mary Ann's. Howard said he would beat off to Ginger and he dropped a load on Gilligan once. Jon asked if Lovey Howell did anything for him. Howard said no.
Robin said both Mary Ann and Ginger wanted Gilligan. Howard said no they didn't. Jon said they did. He said look what else there was on the island. He said they didn't have a lot of choices. Howard said he can't imagine that Mary Ann would want Gilligan over the professor. He said he can't imagine she'd want him over the professor. He said he was going nowhere if they got off the island.
Howard asked why Gilligan didn't want to fuck either of them. Jon said he may have been more into the monkey.
Jon said he was really upset about Dawn dying from COVID. Howard said he was a big fan of her's when she was on their channel 9 show. He said the idea of Bob Denver and Dawn participating in that sketch where they ate the skipper was mind blowing to him. He said that made them great in his book. He said what wonderful people they were to indulge them in that. He said they didn't get a lot of money out of that show. He said they were at the conventions all the time. Jon said they showed her in one of those shows on Netflix. He said they had an autistic guy trying to find love and Dawn was one of the women he was going after.
Howard said Dawn Wells was such a great person. He said in the sketch they had Gary playing a monkey who gave them boogers so grey could all survive. He said he'd feed them and they'd fight over the boogers. Gary asked how many times he's played a monkey on the show. Howard said many times. He said he played one in a sketch with Jessica Hahn where he ate doody out of a diaper.
Howard said that sketch was brilliant on the channel 9 show. Gary said he was there with Bob Denver and Dawn Wells and it was amazing. He said he was a fellow actor at that time. Howard said he was. Robin asked why they didn't eat the monkey instead of Skipper in the sketch. Howard said they had logic behind it all. He said Gary was very realistic as the monkey and his boogers.
Gary asked if he was a monkey on the New Years Eve special too. Howard said he was. He said they paid Gary in bananas back in those days. He said they didn't have to give him any money.
Howard said he has to tell you that he would rather starve to death than seat Gary's boogers. Gary said Richard pulled his nose hair out and ate it. He said he almost ate a booger.
Howard said Richard is on paternity leave. He said what a joke that is. He said he's at home doing nothing.
Howard said Jon is right about Gilligan's Island and when it Jumped the Shark. Jon said the Harlem Globetrotters thing was after the show ended and they did a special. He said it's still the time when it had jumped the shark.
Howard asked Jon to make a list of people who visited the island and got off but never sent help.
Howard said the black women who have been the Bachelorette have chosen white guys. He said that this guy is thinking he has to choose a black woman. He said this could be some season. Howard said that Chris Harrison looks like he's had half of his brain taken out having to listen to all of these people complaining. Robin said she heard that he's thinking of leaving the show. Howard said he had better not. He said he doesn't see show business knocking his door down.
Howard said it would be something if they got a black winner on the show. Robin said when they had that what's her name run off she ran off with a guy who wasn't white. Howard said that's true but this guy is feeling the pressure so far.
Howard said we've made a mess of the world. He said he knew his generation would. He said this poor guy is worried about who he's going to pick. He said that all racial relations are depending on what happens on The Bachelor.
Robin said maybe Pat Robertson can talk to god and get him to make this guy fall for a black girl. Howard asked Jon if he watches that show at all. Jon said not at all. He said he knows how much Howard loves it. Howard said he loves the show. He said they have this gorgeous black woman on The Bachelorette and she had these huge fake titties. He said if they're fake they're great. He said it's impossible for a woman that thin to have titties that big. Robin said they move like real breasts. Robin said she'd bet $100 that they're real. Jon said they're on it and researching it now.
Howard said this girl was gorgeous. He said her name is Tayshia. He said her job is a phlebotomist. He said that she says she wants to be an interior decorator now. He said she's gorgeous and at the end of her thing she has two white guys and a black guy. He said the black guy was perfect for her. He said one of the white guys was in rehab twice and the other guy tried to kill himself twice. He said this black guy was perfect for her. He said she got rid of him.
Howard said this guy was making a toast to his 9 years of sobriety on the show. Robin said he was 9 years sober and she was toasting everything. Robin said the family all had drinks. Robin said that they were sitting down with the champagne and they never explained it on the show. Howard said that dude was very sweaty all the time too. He said he must have been dying for something to drink.
Howard said he didn't know what was happening. He said that they say that he had apple cider on the show. He said they didn't explain that on the show.
Jon said he has an answer on Tayshia. He said that she said that she didn't have plastic surgery until recently. She said she had lip injections but she claims nothing was done to her breasts. Robin said she'd like her $100 now. Jon said she claims that she had nothing done other than lip injections.
Jon said he has a list of people who got on the island and off of Gilligan's Island. He told Howard about Wrong Way Feldman and how he landed there and got off the island. Howard asked why Mary Ann would like Gilligan if he fucked up so much. He said he doesn't get it.
Jon told Howard about other people who got off the island and didn't send help. It was often Gilligan's fault. Howard said what a show. He said rest in peace Dawn Wells.
Jon said there was a band named the Mosquitos that came on the show and they were like the Monkees. Howard said he remembers that. Jon said they had their electric guitars and drums with them and it all worked. Howard said the professor rigged it all up for them.
Howard said he has to do a commercial and he's not sure what he did with the copy. He said he doesn't have the staff anymore to keep him organized. He said this is not going to work out. He said he lost his staff. He said he should have a staff to help him out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he knows that Tayshia's tits are real. The caller said you have to know they're real just by looking at them. Howard said it's impossible for a girl that thin to have tits that big. He said you lose fat when you're that thin. Howard said this guy doesn't know anything. The caller said that black guys have big dicks even if they're thin. Howard said that's like comparing apples to oranges. He went on to do his live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard came back and said he's wondering where Leslie West is right now. He said he must be up in the sky. He said that we all have to go through birth and death. He said that Leslie has done both. Robin said you're going to go at some point. Howard said he knows that.
Howard said he's going to take some calls. He took a call from Pocket who said happy new year. Howard said the same to him. He said he did that thing where he called some fans on New Years Eve. Pocket asked where his call was. Howard said his wife said they were going to do that thing they do and she had already Instagram'd out that they were doing it. He said he didn't want to do it but she insisted. He said they sat on the couch and he got on Twitter and told his followers to give their numbers. He said she was annoyed with that. He did it anyway though.
Howard said they got on the phone and they must have called 25 people. He said they have such nice listeners. He said he spoke to an ex military guy who was going through a tough time. Howard said you don't know who you're calling. He said one woman had breast cancer and lost her mother a few years ago. He said he spoke to two guys from Kentucky. He said one guy was a truck driver. He said he spoke to people all over the country. He said one guy was a front line worker. He said he just randomly called people.
Howard said he'd call some people and he's not sure why grey gave their numbers. He said that he'd get them on and they were acting like it was a surprise he was calling and had nothing to say. He did an impression of some of those people who had nothing to say.
Howard said most of the people were lovely and had something to say. Robin said that was lovely of him to do that. Howard said if he wants an awkward conversation he has Fred and JD for that.
Howard said he and Beth had a bit of an argument in bed last night. He said he's not sure what it was about. He said it's so rare that they do that. He said they had something about a show.
Howard said they're watching The Crown and that has to be one of the best shows on TV. He said the acting and the cinematography are great. He said he doesn't give a shit about the royal family but he got a bit of an appreciation for them. He said it's a great show and it's fantastic. He said that's all there is to say about it. He said just watch it.
Pocket asked if he's upset that they canceled Lost in Space. Howard said he is. Pocket said that he thinks it's because of The Expanse on Amazon. Howard said he didn't know they canceled Lost in Space. He said he really liked the show ''Away'' and they did cancel that. Pocket said that's the show he's talking about. He said The Expanse is better and it's 5 seasons long. Howard said he'll have to check that one out.
Pocket said the show Jumped the Shark in season 3. Howard said don't tell him that or he won't watch it. Howard had taken a note on his phone to remind himself to watch it. He listened back to it since he let out a belch in the middle of it.
Howard said he's not going to watch it if he said it jumped the shark. Pocket started to explain but Howard hung up on him.
Howard said he just read that Lost in Space is coming back for a third and final season this year.
Howard said Cobra Kai is back for a third season. He said he's watching every episode but it's horrible. He said he likes it but it's just so bad. He said it's so unrealistic. He said the charm of the Karate Kid was that he was a kid who have a love affair. He said now he's in his late 50s or 60 years old and none of them aged well. He said he's almost better looking.
Howard said he's not sure why they're all caught up in Karate. He said it's such a bad show but he likes it. He said the acting is horrible. He said Ralph Macchio is 59 years old and still looking for his Sensei. He said he's still fighting the kid from The Karate Kid. He said he has to watch the show though. He said he wants to beat himself with a chain for watching it. Robin said the last time they talked about this she got such a lecture. She said she's going to say she's watching it.
Howard said Beth laughs at him for watching it. Jon Hein got on and said that the show is fantastic. He said that his wife walks out of the room if he puts it on too. Howard asked if it's good because it's so bad. Jon said it is. He said the first season is good. He said the next season isn't as good but still entertaining. He said they do an excellent job with the flash back stuff. He said it's not forced too much. Howard said Ralph Macchio looks like a douche when he fights. He said you don't buy that he can beat anyone. Howard said he doesn't think this kid ever bothered to study Karate. He said he doesn't look like he ever works out.
Howard said the mean guy is a complete sociopath. Jon said they get into his back story in the show this season. Howard said Gilligan's Island is more believable. Jon said he agrees with Howard on The Crown too. Howard said it's so good.
Howard said he watched New Years Rockin Eve too. He said he didn't get through J-Lo's song. He said that people said she had a triumphant performance of ''Dream On'' and he saw a clip and it sounded like a cat screaming from getting a tooth removed. He did an impression of her singing that.
Howard said he loves The Mandalorian. He said Jon Favreau has done such a great job with that show. He said he watched all of the new season of that.
Howard said the new years eve thing he watched but the only guy he saw that he liked was Machine Gun Kelly. He said the hosting is so bad. He said he'd rather watch his wall than watch Ryan Seacrest. He said he knows Ryan is a good guy but he's so boring. He said you have to be boring to host. He said he knows Ryan thinks he hates him. He said he doesn't hate him but it's just horrible. He said he'd rather have them dig up Dick Clark and put him on some strings to host that show. He said he's not sure why it's still Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve. He said no other show is like that. He said you never see that. He said Ryan is doing his best to be as bland as Dick Clark. He said they had New Years Eve before Dick Clark. He said he has nothing against that guy either but it's time to let it go.
Howard said they had someone named Big Freedia on that show and he was entertaining. He said it should be Big Freedia's New Year's Rockin Eve. He said he's not sure if he was born a woman or not. He said he'd like to know if he's a former guy who wears a wig. He said he looked like Terry Crews in a wig. Howard asked if he has any tape of Big Freedia. Will let him know where it was.
Howard said you have to hear this about Will. He said he has to talk about how he shit his bed. He said there's something wrong with Will. He said he went to get a colonoscopy and he had to do the prep for it and he shit his bed. He asked if you can imagine that. He said he woke his wife up to tell her that. Will said he woke up in a puddle. Howard asked how you sleep through that. Will said it was basically leaking out of him at that point.
Howard asked how much shit there was in his bed. Will said it was like waterer. He said he had to get his wife up and tell her they had to change the sheets. He said some of it got to the mattress too. Howard said he wet his bed a few months ago too. Will said he has no excuse for that.
Howard said he has gotten 4 or 5 colonoscopies in his life and he's never done that. He said he gets up and shits when he has to. Will said he fell asleep and it just came out of him. Howard said you wake up though. He said he's not sure why the prep ended at midnight. Will said it was horrible. He said it's all been cleaned up. Howard said he'd kill himself if he did that with Beth in the bed.
Robin said she's reading about Big Freedia and she was born Freddy Ross. Howard asked if she was born a man. Robin said it doesn't say. Jon Hein said she was born a man. Howard played some clips of Big Freedia from the New Years Eve special. Howard said that Freedia was more entertaining than Ryan Seacrest.
Howard said he had a lot of time to think over vacation. He said that he was thinking about Neil Young and what a talent he is. He said he has the ability to write songs, play instruments and sing. He said that he has all of that talent. He said he was thinking about him playing Live at Massey Hall and what a great thing that was. He played some of his ''Old Man'' performance from that album.
Howard said he has great banter on stage and he even tunes his guitar right there. He said it's such a great performance.
Howard said he can't imagine the line up of women who lined up to fuck him after that show. He said it must have been dazzling. He said it's just him on guitar. He said you know there were hot chicks there. He said he must have fucked until his dick fell off.
Howard said then he breaks into ''Ohio'' during that concert. He said just listen to the tuning on stage. He said he has the balls to tune his guitar on stage. He said the tuning sounds better than anything he's ever played himself when he was trying. He said the fact that he can tune up without assistance is a talent. He said he knew a guy who tuned pianos for a living. He said Neil could have done that for a living.
Howard said he hates Neil for being so talented. He said that he wishes he could just play a few nots. He said it's a joke. Robin said that Neil is going to hear this and think he hates him. Howard said he doesn't hate him. He said he hates that he's so talented.
Howard said what a man he is. He said that if he could just do half of what he does. He said he's filled with awe when he hears him. He said just listen to him tuning. He said he wishes he could tune that good. Howard said he switches between guitar and piano in this concert. He said go look it up and watch it. He said let him know if you don't want to bash your head through a windshield after watching it.
Howard said Neil wrote this (Ohio) in the woods in like 20 minutes. He said he loves the guy. Robin said it doesn't sound like it. Howard said he went to write a song in the woods and he came out with poison ivy.
Howard said Gary asked if he watched the new Bee Gees documentary. He said of course he did. He said he realizes that he sees most of these shows. He said that he's also watching The Bachelor and more.
Howard said he does watch how much he eats and he does work out so he stays thin that way. He said he's really enjoying painting and he wants to be alone doing that. He said it's a great thing to be able to do during quarantine. He said he's doing just fine during quarantine because of that. He said one of the things he told Beth was that he hasn't been outdoors in like 2 months. He said they used to go for walks but he's not even doing that anymore. He said he's just staying inside. He said he feels like he's on another planet. He said he has never been more relaxed. He said that he has no more anxiety. He said that was all because he had to leave the fucking house. He said he's afraid of the world and he doesn't like it. He said he doesn't want to leave his house. He said he feels so relaxed and good.
Robin asked if his therapist tells him this is not healthy. Howard said he didn't seem to mind. Howard said even going to the psychiatrist was bad for him. He said he can do it over Zoom now. He said that being in the car with Ronnie was causing him anxiety. He said that he had to apologize if he asked to go somewhere. He said this is so relaxing. He said he doesn't have to go anywhere. He said he's fine talking to his psychiatrist on Zoom. He said he doesn't think he'll leave his house even after the pandemic. He said that Robin won't even see him face to face. He asked what the difference is.
Howard said he loves being in his house. He said he wanted that as a little boy. He said now he has what he wanted. He said he doesn't like going out. He said he hasn't left the house in 2 months. He said he doesn't enjoy interacting with anyone. Robin said that's not right. Howard said he and his kids zoom all the time and they will get together when the pandemic is over. He said that he doesn't have to see his mom in person. He said he wants the rest of the world to reopen but he doesn't have to be a part of it.
Howard said he would be a model prisoner. He said he'd win awards for that. Robin said there won't be any painting in prison. Howard said he'd have to get fucked in the ass because he'd be the woman. He said Robin just sobered him up.
Howard said prison to him would be going out into the real world and being forced to interact with people.
Howard said he didn't like growing up in Roosevelt where he was forced to be in school. He said that's not for him.
Howard said Ronnie is really entertaining. He said he was the star of the big after party too. Ronnie said he was just having a good time as always. Howard said he has to play some of this. Ronnie said he had a few drinks. Robin said he did get louder as the night went on.
Howard said he was so relieved when he got on with Ronnie. He said he was the one doing all of the talking.
Howard said every time they switched him into a room with someone he would say ''Thank god I'm finally in the good room.'' He said that Ronnie was in the big room a lot. Ronnie said that's where they kept putting him.
Howard said he's going to play some clips from the end of the night. He said everyone was drunk by this time. He said everyone was talking over each other. He played a clip where everyone was talking over each other.
Howard said Ronnie is just yelling at everyone and calling them names. Howard said the party ended at 9 but these guys were on all night. Ronnie said he left at 11:30 and they were still on.
Howard said they did Karaoke on there. He had some audio of Ronnie singing ''Sweet Caroline'' on Zoom. Howard said he's like a whole party. Ronnie didn't remember singing. Howard said he was drunk. Ronnie said he doesn't remember much of that.
Ronnie said that he was doing something with dildos too. Howard said he has a clip of that too. Howard said they were giving a live tour of their sex toys. Howard played a clip of Ronnie talking about the toys including a glass cock. It had some kind of liquid in it and they said you heat it up in the microwave.
Howard said Ronnie insisted that she show off her $300 vibrator to the staff. Howard played a clip of Ronnie talking about how she paid $300 for that. The guys were saying it looked like a lobster. They were responding to the sight of it like it was shocking to see.
Howard said it seems like Stephanie wants to fuck herself with anything but Ronnie. He said they have a lot of toys in their basement. He said they have a sex doll that was a headless woman with a tiny vagina and asshole and tits. He said no one can figure out what it is or why they have it. He said Ronnie kept fingering it on camera. He played another clip of Ronnie talking about the headless torso. Ronnie fingered it and showed how it's set up. Stephanie said he broke her.
Howard asked what the odds are that he could find a woman who is into that. Robin said he must have searched high, low and long and he finally found her. Howard said it's amazing.
Chris Wilding said that no one could figure out why he had that thing. Howard said Ronnie and Stephanie spent the night fighting. He said it was a lot of fighting over technical issues. He said Ronnie really gives it to her when it doesn't work. Howard played a clip of them yelling at each other over something being broken.
Chris said they were yelling at each other with dildos in their hands. Howard said they had some kind of harness in their hands. Ronnie said it was for doggy style. He said you put a harness on her and it has reigns like you're riding a horse. Howard said he's never heard of that. Chris asked if you need that because you're older. Ronnie said no. He said it's good for pulling in tight. Howard said he's like the creepy Lone Ranger.
Howard said this is an incredible relationship. He they were yelling at teach other but then they pull out these sex toys like a fleshlight. Chris said it went on for hours. He said they had a thing that looked like a face hugger that was really wild. Ronnie didn't know what he was talking about.
Howard said Chris was funny at the party. He said he was doing a funny voice. He said he thought that was funny. He said that the two most entertaining guys were Ronnie and Chris.
Ronnie said that he finally got an iPhone and he's trying to get all of his contacts over. He said it's a nightmare. He said everything is being shut down on his Blackberry. He said he used the browser on there to talk to people and he can't do it there anymore.
Howard said Shuli was very funny at the party too. He said Robin was there in the party. He said this guy Ryan had to move Ronnie out of the rooms if he got overtly sexual. He said it was unbelievable. Chris said it was great to have old Ronnie back.
Howard said the party was fun. He said he was amazed at what people ordered for food. He said Jason had Sushi coming to the house and it didn't make it. Robin said that's the second person she's heard that it didn't show up. Howard said Jason got Papa John's food instead. Jason said that the snow was bad so they had to cancel the sushi. Howard said one of the pizzas he got had cheeseburger toppings. Jason said the pickles were really good on the pizza. Howard said he ate that one by himself too. Jason said it was a regular sized pizza. Howard asked if he feels bad after eating all of that food. Jason said not at the time. He said the overall picture is disturbing when he thinks about it long term.
Robin asked how much sushi he ordered if he got $100 worth of Papa Johns. Jason said it was like two boats full of sushi.
Howard said the other weird thing was seeing JD with his wife. He said it's weird to see him next to a real life girl who is attractive. He said it's just weird. Ronnie said it is weird. Jason said he has to carry the conversation too.
Ronnie said JD was so trashed he wasn't able to talk. JD said he did drink a lot of wine. Howard said JD was just laughing at Ronnie the whole night. Howard asked what Ronnie was drinking. Ronnie said it was gin and tonic. He said he had muddled cucumber too. He said he started early like around 6. He said he must have had 5 or 6 of those tall glasses full.
Howard said JD had a birthday while they were off. He asked Robin if she knows how old he is. Robin guessed 47. Howard said he's 41. Robin laughed. Chris said she was close. Robin said it was just a little over.
Howard said JD spent his birthday with a burger and a shot of Fireball. JD said he's had this bottle for a long time. He said it took like a year to drink it. Howard said he just finds it amazing to see JD with a woman.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who welcomed him back to the show. She said he's stuck with her for another 5 years. She said the Bee Gees thing is amazing. Howard said it's a documentary and you cry seeing it because they were at the top of the world. He said they were tragic though and they got caught up in the disco thing. He said even at the end of their careers they're writing songs for other people and it's one tragedy after another. Mariann said that Robin has to watch it. She was going on and on about it so Howard hung up on her.
Robin said she was watching Saturday Night Fever and she was thinking about how Howard never had a hit record and she figured he'd be upset with that. Howard said that Rick Dees should be proud of that song. He said Rick wrote that song. He said he wishes he wrote it. He said he's working on a new song and he has a new band called Tuchas.
Howard said thanks to the guys for talking about the party. He said he called Ronnie a couple of times over vacation. He said he spoke to Jon Hein too. He said he's a good guy to talk to. He said there's no jokes or anything. He said it's just straight information. He said Jon is a good man. He said they have the same iPhone and the came to the same conclusion that it's a complete waste of time. He said they shoot great pictures and video. He said that he can't send the video to anyone. He said it's too big. He said the iPhone is too big for his pocket too. He said he got the 12 Max and he can't sit down with it in his pocket.
Howard said he and Jon were talking about the things they have to invent. Robin said they're making a car now. She said they just announced that.
Howard said the call sounds just as bad as always. Jeff said he's not making it up that he has 5G. Howard said he's been on hold for like 5 hours. He said he saw him on before the show even started. He said he saw the question he wanted to ask and thought he's a genius. Jeff said he's glad he finally appreciates him.
Howard took a call from someone calling himself Taint. The guy said he's on Instagram a lot and he's looking at Beth's kitties and all of that. He said then he sees Jeff the Drunk doing a sing along and throwing beer cans behind him. He asked if he's ever seen that. Howard said he doesn't follow Jeff on Instagram. The caller said it's hilarious. Howard let the caller and Jeff go after that.
Howard said he got a lot of fan feedback about George Clooney. He read through some of that.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to check his phone connection like Jeff the Drunk did. The caller said he's on 5G as well. Howard said he'd give that connection a 10. He thanked him for the call.
Howard took more calls from listeners who were calling in for a phone connection check. One guy was on an old shitty iPhone and sounded just fine. Howard said this is what Jeff the Drunk sounded like. He said he hopes Jeff is listening so he knows what it sounds like when someone calls in to check their phone connection.
Howard took more calls from people calling in to check their phones. One guy called in from a pay phone. Howard gave that a 6.
Howard read more fan feedback about George Clooney. He read some feedback about the special they ran during vacation.
Howard took more calls from people checking their phone connections. He took one from the staff who were making it sound awful. He had a couple of those.
Howard said he has quite a few people calling in with their phone connections thanks to Jeff the Drunk.
Howard read more feedback they got during vacation. Robin said that they should mention that Larry King is in the hospital with COVID-19. Howard said he has a whole bunch of things he's had in his life. He asked if he's going to make it. Robin said it doesn't sound like he's doing very well right now. Robin said they're not sure how he got it either. Howard said he's sorry to hear that. Robin said he's like 85 years old. Howard said he might be even older than that. He said he's actually 87. He said he's tired and they've done enough show. He said he has to end it but he has to do a commercial before they end it. He said maybe it did them all.
Howard took another call for a phone connection. He had Hulk checking in. He said he got new Airpods so he checked them out. He took a call from fake Tan Mom who tested her connection too. Howard said he has done enough show. He said that Larry King has been in the hospital for 10 days now. Robin said that's even worse. She thought it was 5. Howard said he has so many things to say but he'll save it for tomorrow. Robin said they have 5 years to do so why rush it? Howard said he's not sure if he can get through another 5 years. He said it seemed like a good idea at the time. He said he's too tired to even end the show.
Howard said they say that Larry King was moved out of the ICU so maybe he's doing better. Howard said he has a lot of people who want to test their phone connections but they'll have to pick up on that tomorrow. He ended the show around 10:45am.
Robin asked if he is getting a bone density test. Howard said he has to go to his eye doctor and dentist but he's not going out. He said he's not getting a bone density test. He said he was going to get tested to see if he was allergic to penicillin or not but he didn't do that. He said he had an allergic reaction as a kid but he's not sure if he's actually allergic. He said now everything is out the window and he's not doing anything.
Howard said he wanted to go to the dentist but his doctor said don't go if you don't have to. He said he would go if he had an emergency. He said he misses his dentist because he's a great guy. He said he will go once COVID is over. He said he has texted him a few times. He said his closest relationships are with doctors. He said he doesn't really see anyone else.
Howard said by the end of the year he might be standing up straight but he won't have any teeth. He said that's his thing this year. Robin asked what he's going to do. Howard said he saw this thing online where a guy can wear a bra and it keeps you standing up straight. He said Beth ordered him one. He said they got it and he'll wear it. He said he put it on and it was so uncomfortable. He said it was so difficult to put on. He said he's not sure how women wear bras. He said he's not sure if it even straightened him up.
Howard said even now he's trying to sit up straight and it's too much work. He said that he's just got bad posture. He said his body hurts from trying to hold his head up straight. He said his body is so trained in this question mark shape that it feels awkward to stand up straight. Robin said his body isn't used to it.
Howard said before vacation grey had so many things to talk about. He said that he wishes Robin could wrangle him to get him to talk about them.
Howard said he's 5 minutes into his new years resolution and he's ready to stop. He said he asked Beth to tell him whenever he was slouched over and she did that and he asked her not to do that. He said he feels like he's going to fall over when he walks straight up. He said he feels more comfortable closer to the ground.
Howard said quarantine has been good for him because he has stayed inside. He said it would be nice if everyone walked on all fours. He said there are a lot of benefits.
Robin said she remembers walking out of their building and she was trying to tell Howard who the famous people were and she would have to yell out their name because he couldn't hear her. She said she's 5'4''. Howard said no wonder he can't hear her. He said she has to speak up.
Howard said he didn't realize she was that short. Robin said she used to wear heels and things to get up taller. She said she got the impression she was 5'6'' but they measured her in the hospital and she's shorter than that. Howard said Pete Davidson is 6'3'' and Ariana is like 5'3''.
Howard said maybe his favorite clip of the last year is Tan Mom saying Ariana Grande. Fred played the clips of her trying to get her name right. Howard said it's like it's too exhausting for her to get the name right.
Howard said things bother him on such a level. He said things bother him all day so that's why painting helps him.
Howard said this Olivia Jade got into trouble and her dumb parents ruined her life. He said she had a beautiful set up. He said she's hot and she was giving tips on makeup and decorating. He said that her parents fucked it all up by trying to get her into college with some scam about her being on a rowing team. He said she was at school on her first day and Amazon was sponsoring her decorating. He played a clip of Olivia Jade talking about all of this stuff they gave her to decorate her room.
Howard said she was making a couple million bucks off of her Instagram page. He said her parents fucked it all up. He said no one is sending him free stuff from Amazon. He said you have to be good looking and be kind of cool. He said she had it made. He said her parents really screwed her. He said she had to be in on this scam that her parents pulled. He said she knew her grades so she must have known about the scam.
Howard said now her channel has dried up and she's not making a lot of money. He said she's keeping a low profile now. He said her big idea was to go on this Jada Pinkett show on Facebook called Red Table Talk. He said that no one really knows about the show other than he and Robin do. He said he's not sure if anyone is watching that show.
Howard said the funny thing is that Olivia Jade goes on the show but the show is such a freak show that the hosts get into an argument about having her on the show. He said they had already agreed to have her on but then they're arguing about having her on. He had a clip from the show where Jada and her mom were arguing about having her on. Howard said don't have her on then if you can't deal with it.
Howard said they could have solved their problem if they just didn't have her on. He said he wants her on this show instead.
Howard played another clip of Jada and her crew arguing about having her on or not. Howard said just don't have her on then. He said their show isn't that important.
Howard said don't be so self important that they think they're giving her the nod that it's all okay. Robin said the whole world has gone crazy. Howard said he didn't know that show had so much power. Robin said if it does she's not sure how she missed it.
Howard said he thinks that Jada is so hot. He said she must be incredible in bed. He said he just has that vibe. He said he thinks that might be hotter than Ronnie and Stephanie.
Howard said Gloria Estefan has a talk show now too. He said she does that with her daughter and niece.
Howard said Olivia Jade did go on the show and Jada and her mom gave her a piece of their mind. Howard played another clip of them talking to Olivia about black community issues. Howard said if you want to talk about this stuff then don't have her on. He said do a special show about black issues instead. Robin said they're telling this 18 year old all of their problems.
Howard played more of the clip where Jada and her mom were talking about how they don't need to hear about this stuff when grey have so many issues of their own to deal with.
Robin said don't have her on if it's so difficult for them. Howard said he thinks that Olivia should have left and let them talk about their issues. Robin said they'd stop talking about them if she wasn't there. Howard said that sets up for a nice interview. He said that would be like saying he didn't want Paul McCartney to be there right before he comes in.
Howard said then Olivia Jade explained about her parent's arrest while she was partying during spring break. He said she also says she wasn't aware of what was going on when applying to schools. He said sure she didn't. Robin said many times these kids don't see their applications. She said she may not have been aware she was even applying.
Howard said the yacht she was on was the chairman of USC. He played a clip of Olivia talking about her parents being arrested. She talked about how embarrassing it all was and how she didn't know what had gone down. She said she felt so ashamed that she didn't want to go home.
Robin said she has some of that vocal fry going on. Howard said it's annoying but she's so hot it doesn't matter. He did an impression of her plugging something on her channel and saying that it wasn't sponsored but she did get it for free.
Howard said one of the things he likes about that Red Table Talk is how Jada and Willow respond to Olivia with that ''Mmm Hmm'' every time. Howard played a clip of them doing that. Robin said they're like a Greek chorus. Howard said it's a really silly Greek chorus.
Howard said that whole chorus thing happens throughout the interview. He played a montage clip of that happening.
Howard said he likes that show. He said they're having her on but they don't want to have her on. He said she should have gotten up and left.
Howard said Facebook has this feature where you watch one video after another. He said they give you suggested videos. He said he was watching Brandi Carlile doing ''Helplessly Hoping'' and it was so good. He said that it brought him right back to being in the studio. He said she seems like she's really young but very mature. He said she's some talent. He said she has two bald brothers who sing with her and they're so good. He said they're as good as Crosby Stills and Nash. He said she's 39 but she seems younger.
Howard played some of the song that Brandi did and talked about the story she told on the show that day about playing in front of Stephen Stills. He said he loves her. Robin said when she sings it's like magic.
Howard said he has to watch Bowie over and over. He said he likes some of his music so much that he can't get up out of his chair. He said that's his enjoyment. He said these things just automatically come up. He said he watches the same things night after night. He said he likes watching ''All the Young Dudes''. He said he has this woman who shaves her head and wears dresses and plays the bass. He said he has to get her in his band Tuchas. He loves to watch Starman too. Robin said if he's ever in the condition where he can't talk she's going to play those songs for him. Howard said she's so great. He said she knows what to do.
Howard said he watched some Sheryl Crow songs too. He said she must be great in bed too. He wondered who got to get her in bed. He said Lance Armstrong had her and Kid Rock did a song with her so he must have had her too. He played some of her performing ''Beware of Darkness.''
Howard played ''Starman'' and said this is the other thing he listens to every night. He said Bowie is singing with a band and the guy he's singing with is dressed effeminate. He said they're both dressed like that and they sing into the same microphone together.
Howard said he thinks that when they share a microphone someone has to have bad breath. He said he thinks that Bowie would have bad breath from smoking and things like that. He said that whole move is so cool. He said that Bruce does that with Little Steven. He said he feels like Bruce wants to tell him to go to his own microphone. Robin said she thinks that he likes it. Howard said he doesn't think that he does. He said he'd like to ask Bruce about that. Robin said he also does it with Patty. Howard said when he does it with her that's his wife so he gets it. He said that's hot.
Howard said that's what he does every night. He said he just watches videos. Robin asked what gets him up out of his chair. Howard said he wants to watch Cobra Kai before Beth gets into bed. He said that if he got out of bed he'd be able to watch it. He said Facebook runs ads on everything so that gets him up. He said he goes ''fuck this'' and gets up. Robin said you know you're in a loop when you get into that. She said they're there to capture you and keep you there.
Benjy said he's heard that forever. Howard said it's wrong. He said he used to go around saying the word jewelry wrong. He said his mom corrected him and he said it right from that day on. He said Benjy will argue with him about this. He said Molly is right. Benjy said it's not wrong. Howard said it is wrong.
Benjy was arguing that it's okay to say that so Howard told him he's done. He said he's getting agida. He said that Benjy has his personal email and he writes to him and says you don't need to respond to this. Howard said it's sweet but if you write him he's going to write him back. He said he can stop that nonsense.
Benjy said he knows that he likes getting a nice email and not needing to respond. Howard said he's a sweet guy but he annoys him. He said he does like him though. Benjy said he could just write a dot back and he'd get it.
Howard said he was listening to Tom Morello's show on Lithium and he talked about Leslie and had some nice things to say about him. Robin asked how great it is when you turn on the radio and something like that comes on at just the right time. Howard said it was weird for him. He said that it wasn't just with Tom. He said there were other times. Howard said Tom was talking about how he played the French horn first and he said he was horrible at it. He said he didn't think music was for him because of that.
Howard said it shows that you don't have to be great at every instrument. He said you can just be great at one. He said some people like Paul McCartney can play anything.
Howard said he wanted to mention this thing about Leslie West. He said one year they had on Jack Bruce and they were over in London doing shows. He said that Jack and Leslie did a performance over the phone. He said Jack was brilliant. He said they had Jack on live over in London and they called Leslie to play over the phone. He said in those days there was a delay over the phone that was one or two seconds. He said Leslie starts playing over the telephone and somehow they were in key and in the right moment together. He said this was a true maestro. He said he asked Leslie how he did it and he said he didn't know.
Howard played the clip of Jack and Leslie performing together over the phone. They were matched right up somehow.
Howard said that was 1988. He said that's something. He said that was amazing and he's still not sure how they did it to this day. Robin said that was unforgettable.
Howard said he feels guilty about not doing them but he's not going to do them. He said he has done a couple but then he has to send a gift. He said then he doesn't get a thank you because you didn't do the video. He said he really doesn't like people and this is why. He said he feels bad so he gets them a gift instead.
Howard said he'll do something like the Bachelor. He said the guy is so boring. He said that he talks in a monotone. He said they're bored so they talk like that.
Howard said he has to say that birthdays are for children. He said you don't have to celebrate as an adult. He said the only thing he wants on his 90th birthday is a video from people he barely knows saying happy birthday. He said people are celebrating at 70. He said there's nothing to celebrate about getting older. He said calm down.
Robin said she loves it when they wheel out an old woman who has no idea what's happening and wish her a happy birthday.
Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't making a lot of sense so Howard was getting fed up. The caller said he got into the show when he was on a tour with a live band. He said he's calling to figure out his career because he's 26 years old. Howard said he's not sure what's happening. He said he thinks he said he's a musician. He said make a point. The caller, Charlie, started over and said that he always has good points on careers. He said he was getting into the musician thing when the lock down happened. Howard said he gets the gist of it now. He said he's 26 and calling for career advice. Howard said that's insane because he went to college to become a disc jockey. He said what a dumb move that was. He said being a musician is barely cool anymore.
Howard said musicians aren't cool anymore. He said he watched the New Years Rockin Eve thing and a lot of them are douches. He said women have gone into super hero outfits. He said they're overweight and they're in a unitard.
Howard said it's not cool. Charlie said he knows that and that's why it gets frustrating talking about music. He said no one is wearing unitard. Howard said they are. Charlie said he wouldn't know because he's playing music.
Howard said the only guy who looked cool was Nelly. Charlie kept interrupting. Howard told him to relax. He said he should smoke weed. Charlie said he does. He said he's working on an assembly line right now. Howard told him to stick with it. Charlie said he took some Adderal and he's trying to go to sleep. Howard asked why he would take Adderal. Charlie laughed. Howard said he has some advice for him. He said never take Adderal again. He said goodbye to him after that. He said what a mess that kid is.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she got one of his calls the other night. She said that her son put him on hold. Howard said he remembers that. The caller said she wasn't expecting his call and then he called. Howard said he called some of their fans on New Year's eve. He said he called people randomly. He said he got this dude on the phone and he put them on hold. He said he was on hold for way too long. He said Beth asked why they were on hold and wanted to hang up. He said that this guy didn't think they'd call so he waited for him to get his mom on the phone. He said he gave him a couple of minutes. He said Beth was shocked he was so patient. He said grey were on hold for like 2 minutes. He said sure enough he got his mom on the phone and it was this woman. He said he had a nice conversation with her.
Howard said he forgets what they talked about but grey did have a nice talk. Kristin said they talked about the Twilight Zone marathon. Howard said that's right. He said they talked about the best episode ever where the guy wants to be alone in this world and he wants to read and ends up breaking his glasses. Kristin said it made her night. She said she didn't know that he was on hold. She said she was shocked that her son did that.
Howard said that episode is really good. Robin said she loves those marathons. She said she'll watch them even with commercials. Kristin said she does too. Howard said it's too bad he's married because in the old days he would have come over and banged her. He said it was good to talk to her. He said the relationship had to end now. He said that he's had enough. He let her go.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has to put him on hold for a second. He put Howard on hold and had some hold music playing. Howard said Kristin's son didn't have hold music but it was nice for him to wait. The fake caller kept putting Howard on hold. Howard eventually bailed.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was watching on YouTube the Headbangers Ball with Leslie West and Howard. He said Fred was on too. He asked Howard to talk about that. Howard said he liked Leslie West because he would call on him to do things for the show and he never asked him to do anything back. He said he didn't nudge him like so many people would. He said that he was respectful of the friendship. He said every once in a while Leslie would ask him to do something. He said he wouldn't refuse. He said a few years ago a magazine contacted Leslie to be a rock journalist. He said he was going to interview rock stars about music. He said that Leslie asked him to be his first interview. He said the only thing that was flawed was that he wasn't a musician. He said that he told Leslie that and didn't refuse him. He said that he thought about it and wondered what kind if interview that would be. He said he did it and Leslie had this guy working with him with the equipment. He said Leslie started the interview and he just talked about himself and his career.
Howard said he didn't know how this was going to be an interview. He said it was all stories about Leslie West. He said that he was thrilled because Leslie never disappointed him. He said he knew that he'd talk about himself. He said he was looking forward to seeing what happened with the interview. He said what they did was edit out everything about Leslie and made it about him. He said it actually worked out.
Howard said he didn't think Leslie could be an interviewer because he talked about himself. He said he's not sure what they did but maybe they made it up.
Howard said he has no memory of the Headbangers Ball thing. The caller said he'll send him the link. Howard said he'd prefer not to see it. He said he's sure it's cringe worthy. Howard did a live commercial read and went to commercial break after that.
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Howard came back and said that she knows how to deliver a song. Fred had Robin singing the song over the original. Robin laughed when she heard that. Howard laughed too. He said he loves how she does that. He said she's his diamond in the sky. Robin said she's a falling diamond.
Howard said there was a song by Taylor Swift that he liked. He said he tries to stay up with new music but most of it is bad. He said she did a song with someone whose name was like Burl Ives. Gary said it's Bon Iver. Fred played the ''Baba Booey'' clip.
Howard said this song is interesting. He played the song and said the guy's real name is Justin Vernon. He said it's not really Bon Iver. Howard said this is one of those songs that he could sing. It was more like talking than singing. He said he kind of likes this song. He let it play a little more.
Howard said Bon Iver is actually a band, not a guy. He said they sound like idiots. He said it's like introducing ''Mr. Jethro Tull.'' He said this isn't Starman but it is a good song. He asked Fred to cut it off now.
Howard said he doesn't think he's heard the whole song all the way through. He said it's good in pieces.
Robin said she used to like to listen to the bands on Saturday Night Live. She said that now she fast forwards through a lot of the performances. Howard said he has been in radio a long time and at one time they thought that people had too short of an attention span so they didn't play the whole song. He said they played a ''combo package'' or something where they would play pieces of a song. He said he thinks they tried that for a while. He said the audience rejected that. He said it was like 10-15 seconds of a song. He said it was a wacky idea. He said Lee Abrams did that. He said not every idea is great.
Howard said then they had WPLJ who sped up songs so they could fit more into an hour. He said they did that so grey could brag about playing so many songs in an hour.
Howard said he's seen a lot come and go in radio. He said people had a lot of good ideas. He said some stuck and some didn't. He said Lee was the guy who figured out that they can't hand over the station to the DJ to pick the music. He said he had one guy who was high on cough syrup and he was picking songs to play. He said he'd relieve the guy in the morning and he was completely whacked out of his head by the time he got there. He said Lee and the guys figured out what to play. He said he was like thank god. He said he didn't want to pick the music.
Howard said he just wanted to talk on the air and didn't want to pick music. He said that he once played ''Dust in the Wind'' like 15 times in a row. He said that he cheated the system for a while. He talked up the song like he was playing it on his show. He said people were hanging themselves in the audience. Howard said the song is pretty if you hear it just once. Robin said they can ruin a song if they play it so much.
Howard said then it was Rush with ''Spirit of Radio.'' He said they picked it because it had ''radio'' in the title. Fred played some of that song as Howard talked it up.
Howard said radio was ruined for him. He said he would listen to the radio and worry that the DJ would talk over the lyric. He said that he hoped the guy had it all timed out right. He said he'd have to talk up a song and then take a call. He demonstrated what that was like.
Howard said what a dumb job. He did more talking up for the song and pretended to give away prizes like a 3 hour boat tour. Howard said he was on the worst station he had ever heard when he was on an AM music station. He talked up ''Eye of the Tiger'' by Survivor. He said that people would say that they loved WNBC when he'd take calls. He said they played the shittiest music. He said it was so bad. Fred played some more bad songs from the 80s for Howard to talk up.
Howard said he wanted to be on radio in New York so he could get girls. He said he wanted to make girls who rejected him jealous. Fred played ''Take On Me'' by A-Ha. Howard said these songs were so bad. He said grey had bad names for the bands too.
Howard said be a man and play some Led zeppelin. He said people ended up listening to him and he was in shock when he found that out. Fred played more songs from the 80s. Howard hit a button and played the Brandi Carlile song. He cut that off and Fred had Olivia Newton John's ''Physical'' playing. Howard said this is what he was playing on WNBC.
Howard said he was ashamed of working there. He said he was a bad ass DJ and he was playing this shit. Robin said they played Come On Eileen. Fred played some ''Break My Stride'' for him.
Howard said he was there for like 2 and a half years. He said it's a miracle they lasted that long. He said everything coming up next was awful. He said you'd have to promote what was coming up and he didn't think anyone would stay tuned. He said Pig Virus would say he didn't pre-promote. He said that it's not pre-promote, it's just promote.
Fred played ''Come On Eileen'' and played a spurting sound. Howard said they didn't know this was a dirty song. Robin said this was the least memorable music.
Gary said he remembers that Robin and Howard would get so excited if they played anything that was not shitty music. He said they would play The Cars and bands like that and they got excited about that. Gary said that they had operators there who would call people and ask if they were into certain songs.
Howard said Pig Virus told him that they had a focus group where they asked people what they like about the show. He said that he wanted to play him clips but he didn't want to hear them. He said he wanted him to quit. He said he was having a nervous breakdown listening to this old bag talking about how awful Howard Stern is. He said that was taking all of the confidence out of him.
Howard said he's not sure why he's talking about this because it's just depressing him. He said it's a big mistake.
Howard said Beth is worried about the cat. He said grey have this whole thing going on now. He said they have to lift all of the food for the rest of the cats. He said Yoda can't eat in the morning. He said he's going to have to go prepare his breakfast up in his bedroom because of that. Robin said they could put Yoda in another room. Howard said Beth won't do that. He said she's in charge and all he knows is that he has to prepare his breakfast in his bedroom tomorrow.
Howard said they don't want to look at the cats while they're hungry. He said this Dr. Carmichael better not fuck this up. He said that he better do it like his life depends on it.
Robin said now they're telling stories about people getting dogs for Christmas and now they're dumping them at the shelters. Howard said he hates people who do that. He said they dump their dogs after years. He said getting someone a puppy as a gift never works out well.
Howard said he was already slumped over when he went to the bathroom during the break. He said he can't get his posture right. Gary asked if he has tried that thing they got in the office last year. Howard said hey already talked about that earlier. He said he's not sure where he was earlier.
Howard said he has walked this way his whole life so that's it. Gary said the thing he was talking about was a shock collar. He said that it shocks you when you hunch over. Howard said he's not doing that.
Howard said he got really annoyed that Gary was organizing his vinyl collection by alphabet. Gary said he was on his vacation. He said it was his free time. Howard said he spent his time doing that though. Gary said it was so big he wasn't able to find records so he wanted to do that. Howard said Gary told everyone that it felt good to do that. Howard asked what he does when he has a band like The Band and if they're under T or B. Gary said they're under B. Howard asked how you come to that. Gary said there's also John Cougar Mellencamp which could be under C or M. He said he put them under M. Fred did his Gary Puppet voice and asked where he would file some of these bands.
Howard asked if Robin can imagine this. Fred was still going with his Gary impression. Howard said he's really annoyed. Gary asked if he really wants to get into it. He said he had dividers for all of the letters. He said he had a section for comedy and various collections. Fred was trying to do his impression but they were all talking over each other. Howard asked if they can hear each other.
Howard asked Gary about where he puts some things. Gary said he still has some work to do on things like the 45s. Howard said he's sure that Mary wants that stuff out of the house. Gary said that she does. He said that if he wants to be really annoyed they have an app that lets you scan the bar codes so you know what you have. He said he's doing that on the weekends. He said he's up to the letter E. Howard said there must be something better he could do. He said that's the last thing he would want to do. Gary said he's listening to music while he does it. He said he has other things he's doing too. He said he's shooting pictures on black and white film.
Howard said he took a picture of his dog for them and he put the dog right in the center of the lens. He said he's so not an artist. Robin said he's going to be the king of the ordinary picture. Howard said he could have taken it with is iPhone. Robin said he's taking ordinary pictures with a great piece of equipment.
Gary said he hadn't shot on film in a long time and he just picked up the camera to see what he could do. Howard said no one shoots with film anymore. Robin was cracking up at all of this goofing. Gary said he knows when he's made a complete ass of himself when Robin has to take tissues out because she's crying from laughter. He said he hates when she does that.
Howard said when you're taking pictures you think that you'd do something artistic with it. He said Gary just took a picture of his dog right in the middle of the lens. He said that all of his hobbies are crazy.
Howard said Gary Audio Book is on the phone and talking about putting his records in order. He took the call from the guys who were playing clips of Gary from his book talking about his vinyl. Howard let the guys play clips that went on and on. They had Gary rambling about his favorite songs and albums.
Howard said that book really holds up. He said he's sure there are people out there who are interested in how he organizes his albums. The guys were replaying some clips of Gary talking about his favorites.
Howard said don't stop because this is great. He asked if Gary is on the spectrum. Robin asked why Gary was reminded about waking up in the morning by ''Band on the Run.'' Gary said that it was being played a lot at the time. Howard said if he hadn't hired Gary he'd still be doing his paper route. He asked Gary Puppet what he's doing right now. Fred had Gary puppet talking about where he'd put Paul McCartney since he was in so many bands.
Howard asked Gary where he put McCartney. Gary said it's all under M. Howard asked if he put a lot of thought into that stuff for the book. Gar said it wasn't that long. Howard asked if he had an editor for that book. Gary said of course he did.
Howard said he's happy for Gary. He said as long as it makes him happy then he's glad to hear it. He said he's glad that his records are in an orderly manner.
Howard said Gary has an entire chapter about his Columbia Records subscription collection. Gary said he didn't remember it being a whole chapter. Howard asked how he handles Huey Lewis and the News. Gary said it's under L for Lewis.
Howard asked what he would do with Jethro Tull. Gary said that's under J. Gary said Bon Iver would be under B because it's a band name. Howard asked if he has to write this down.
Howard said that they should do the Year In Review. He said he can't talk to Gary all day. He asked Gary what he would do with Bon Jovi. Gary said that would go under B. He said that's a play on his real name so that would be under B. Howard said he and Robin should bet on this. Gary asked where he put Buckwheat Zydeco. Howard said it would be under B if it was a band. Gary said it's under Z because it's a person. Howard said Dave Matthews Band would be under M for Matthews. Gary said Deep Purple is under D because it's a band.
Howard said he has never heard such a clear explanation before. He asked if Hall & Oates is under H. Gary said it is. He said Crosby, Still, Nash and Young is under C.
Howard asked where Jay Z would go. Gary said he doesn't have any of his vinyl but that's a tough one. He said he's thinking that would go under J. He said Z isn't a real name.
Howard said he's got the whole thing down. He said that was exciting. Gary chuckled. Robin was still laughing about Gary and his photography.
Howard took another call from Gary Audio Book who was talking about music in his house and how it brought them together as a family. Howard said what's weird about this book is that you'd think Gary was in a band. He said he has no talent whatsoever in music. He said that there's a lot of music talk in that book and he would never turn to Gary about music. He said talking about the color of the record player console doesn't matter. Gary said he thinks that people like music like he does and he knows a lot about music. He said he and Jon talk about their knowledge being more important before the internet. Howard said Jon and Gary have no music talent at all and know nothing about it.
Robin said she's never heard someone wax poetic about a music collection so much. Gary Audio Book was going on and on about the music he listened to as a young man.
Gary said at least he didn't go jogging and pretend to step on Howard's face as he ran like Robin did. Robin said she didn't get into details like Gary did. Gary asked if she wants him to get the book and read some details. Robin laughed.
Howard asked Gary how he's doing with his weight. Gary said he's the same. He said it's nothing of any substance when he exercises. He said he rides a bike and he's getting his legs back to work. Howard said he's so jealous of him. He said he has no excuse not to get on the bike. He said his weight is going up again. He said he had to get on the Peloton again and do a 45 minute work out. He said that the girl he's been watching lately is so good looking. He said it's Hannah Corbin. He said she wears a leotard and it's pulled over her belly button. He said he'd like to see a hip hugger outfit. He said her titties jiggle so he likes watching that. He said you can see her ass in the mirror too. He said that's kind of fun.
Howard said Hannah gives out those slogans that are so repetitive. He said that she tells you to say that ''You are awesome'' to yourself. He said she tells you to say it over again when you didn't say it with conviction. He said the fact that you're on the bike is like you're doing more than 95 percent of the country.
Howard said she has these affirmations that she has you repeat. Robin said they're not really affirmations. She said they're something else like cliches. Howard said that's right.
Howard said he watches Hannah and she gets him through it. He said she'll tell you to treat yourself like the rock star you are. He said he wonders if he's really a rock star. He said she's super hot. He said she's a professional dancer. He said she can dance on the bike when she's pedaling. He said that's impressive.
Howard said he wishes she'd get off that bike and dance for him. He said he has been doing the bike thing and walking on the treadmill. Robin asked if he will use his Peloton once the pandemic is over. Howard said he will. He said he was using it before the pandemic. He said he's built like a guy who organizes vinyl all day.
Gary asked Howard how much he walks and how fast he goes. Howard said he goes at 2.7 which is like crawling. He said everything hurts the next day after walking like that. He said he can't go faster. He said he has the remote in his hand so that's all the weight he can carry. He said that he has titties and he does the same weights every day. He said he doesn't mix it up at all. He said his muscles are confused. He said it's over for him.
Howard said he's dreading that he has to do the Peloton. He said he has to watch The Crown with Beth. He said they watch one episode together. He said he's up to the last season and he really hates that Prince Charles. He said he was such a piece of shit to Princess Diana. He said the queen mother was a cunt too. He said when Lady Di goes up to her and says she's struggling in her marriage she hugs her and asks her to help her. She said the Queen won't even hug her back. He said he's done with the royal family.
Howard said he was crying during the episode. Robin said it was awful. She said they say it's not real but there is actual tape of her talking about this in her own words. Gary said he loves the show and watched the whole thing. He said there's a pattern over the years where they ruin everyone's life because they want to marry who they want. Howard said they're like vampires. He said he looks at that and thinks it would be wonderful to be in a family like that. He said you can do whatever you want with few responsibilities. He said then Prince Charles can't even be nice to Princess Diana. Robin said he has been treated like China his whole life. Howard said that show makes you hate that family. Gary said that it was all because Prince Charles wanted to marry a woman he loved and grey didn't let him. Howard said be a man and just do it.
Howard took a call from the fake Queen who was going off on him for calling her a cunt. She called him a big nosed bastard and said he looks like a defective coat rack. Howard spent a minute with the Queen.
Howard asked if they have enough time to do the year in review. Gary said they do. Howard said he should take a breather for a minute. He said that's another resolution he has for the new year. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and talked about how the Rolling Stones are too big to do this show apparently. He said that everyone else will do it but not them. He said they're so fucking important that they can't do it. Robin said that's right. She said how dare they. Howard said they wouldn't be that good anyway. He asked what they've done. He said it's actually incredible what they've done. Robin said it would be great to have any of them in there. Howard said he'd even take Charlie Watts. He said maybe not to that.
Howard said they thought it would be fun to do a Year in Review. He said that they have highlights from 2020. He said everyone was like fuck you to 2020 but 2021 is going to be just as bad. He said the way the vaccine is getting rolled out is crazy.
Howard said this has been an embarrassment. Robin said now they're talking about only giving people half of their vaccine. She said it hasn't been tested to see if that's enough.
Howard said they're going to look back at 2020. He said that it wasn't all bad. He said he has put together a panel of staffers to highlight some of the moments from 2020. He said he has JD up first. He said he only mumbles. He said he has Gary, Jason, Shuli, Wolfie, Sal, Ronnie and more.
Howard said he'll go to JD first. He said he wants to talk about the staff happy hour on Zoom. JD said they used that to bond and relax after a week of works. He said it always turned into everyone fighting. He had a montage of some of the best fight movements from Happy Hour. They played that clip where the staff yelled at each other during those meetings.
Howard said every woman on the staff stopped going after a couple of weeks. JD said it just shrank and shrank as it went on. He said he thinks they start it at 9 and it goes until 2 in the morning now.
Howard asked what's next. Gary said he's going to talk about Ronnie. He said that every year turns into the year of Ronnie. He said that this was going to be his last year on the show. Howard said he's still there. Ronnie said his house is being built out in Las Vegas. He said they just signed all of the papers and contracts. He said it should be ready in the summer between July and August probably.
Howard said the fans were wondering why he's still on the show. Ronnie said get him off then. Howard said he didn't want him off the show. He said he's not saying that. He said he makes a confrontation out of everything. Ronnie said he made a big deal out of it last time. Howard said he's not sure what he needs him for now. Ronnie said he's not sure either. He said maybe because of this.
Howard said he has him reviewing porno films now. He said that should be a good role for him. He said that he has to test sex toys too. Ronnie said as long as his dick is working he'll be trying things out. Sal about his asshole.
Howard said it could be funny to have him reviewing porn every week. He said they have to figure out what to do with him. He said he doesn't need a security guy now or a driver.
Howard said here's Ronnie reviewing some porn. He played a song parody with Ronnie singing about watching his favorite ''porns.'' Ronnie said he's figured out that he's there to make JD laugh. Howard said he's right about that. JD said he does brighten his day.
Howard said that Ronnie likes Gina Lynn porn. He said that she's his favorite. Ronnie said she has great lips and a great ass. He said imagine that blow job from her. Howard said it's possible that it's not that good. Ronnie said he has no complaints. Howard said he's just saying that Gina Lynn might not be what he thinks. Ronnie asked if he's ever watched her give a blow job. Howard said he hasn't. Ronnie told him to watch and then tell him what he thinks.
Howard played the clip of Ronnie talking about Gina Lynn's Desires 2. Howard said the name of the movie is Gina Lynn's DD's and Derrieres 2. He said that he called it Desires. He doesn't even know the name of the movie that's his favorite. Ronnie said he doesn't know what it is. Ronnie said if you look at the way they write it then you can't tell what it is anyway.
Howard got back to the review of the movie. In the clip Ronnie talked about how great Gina Lynn is. He said she does it for him. He said this is what he watches by himself. He said he loves to eat that asshole out and slide his dick in there afterward. He said that's his fantasy.
Howard asked Ronnie how long he'd leave his dick in there. Ronnie said until he blows his load. Shuli asked how that's a review. Ronnie said it's a fantasy. Wolfie asked if that's a VHS tape. Ronnie said it's a DVD.
Howard had another review from Ronnie. He said this is where a guy shoves a woman's head into a toilet. In the clip Ronnie talks about how rough the guy is. He said that this guy beats her face with his hard on and bends her over the toilet bowl and has her head in the water. He was just giving a play by play for the movie. Ronnie hated the way the guy treated the girl and wanted to beat the shit out of the guy. Howard said meanwhile Sal just came. Gary said Sal likes that one.
Howard said there's always one kid in the class you rewrites the book for a book review. He said that's Ronnie. He said he's not really reviewing it. Howard said he likes this review though. He said any movie that can gross out Ronnie deserves an award.
Howard asked what pissed him off so much. Ronnie said this guy was beating the shit out of her. He said the girl was a good looking girl too. He said it made him want to hit him over the head with a bat. Howard asked what he thinks about Sal liking it. Sal said he has no fantasy of beating. He said that this was a clip that he saw years ago where he held her head on his cock and came. Ronnie said even that was fucked up. He said that no guy does that to a girl. Sal said this guy did.
Gary said if you go back and look at the video you see Sal smiling when you hear Howard saying that this guy sticks her head in a toilet. Sal said he's not into it that much. He said that he's into this video. He said he loves the idea of the toilet bowl and the girl is a trooper in this. Howard said he loves that Sal said he wants to talk to a therapist about this. Gary said Sal did go to a therapist and he said that he doesn't like his father and Sal left and never went back.
Howard said Sal is into Dr. Piss too. Sal said that the guy pisses on women. Howard asked at what point he cums. Sal said that he cums when the guy does. Shuli asked if he continues to watch it after he finishes. Sal said no. He said he shuts it off and feels horrible about himself for about a half hour after.
Howard asked why Sal can't just take a dildo up his ass like some guys. Ronnie said there's nothing wrong with that.
Howard said they had Ronnie review a gay porn. He said it was about a security guard who catches a shoplifter. He played that clip and Ronnie went over what happened in the first one. He described what was happening in this gay porn and how weird the old guy's cock looked.
Howard said that wasn't a bad review. He asked if he liked it. Ronnie said no. Robin said that wasn't a good review because he never said if he liked it or not. Jason said they're ''Ronnie's Recaps.'' Howard said they do have to hear a description. He said he could give it a review at the end. Shuli said the first one ended with his cock cumming in the girl's ass. Howard said he did say it was funny as piss.
Howard said finally they have a review of a porn film with farting in it. Howard played that review where Ronnie recapped the movie like he did with the others. He talked about how he thinks he saw a brown spot in the girl's panties at one point. He said he'd never watch that shit. He said she never even took her panties off so why watch it. He said it would have been great if she had shit on the guy's nose.
Howard said he doesn't think he liked that one. Ronnie said she never even got naked or anything. He said she wasn't that hot either. Robin said all of that could have gone in the review.
Howard said this is what COVID has done. He said now he's paying him to watch fart porn. He said this should be one of his functions now. Ronnie said that's fine with him. Robin said that maybe someone will have Ronnie direct porn now that he's given these reviews. Ronnie said he would do that. He said he used to direct Jason how to take pictures at the strip club. Shuli said that was really creepy. He said he saw that once. Jason said he was only like 22 and it was great because he took control. He said he had the girls doing all of this stuff and he knew just what he wanted. Gary said the girls listened too and they didn't even work for him.
Shuli said that Ronnie and Stephanie pick out the girl they want and it's like picking out a lobster in the tank.
Howard said he feels safer with this than with him driving him around. Shuli asked if his conversations in the car were this confrontational. Howard said not at all. He said they had great conversations. He said if you say something he doesn't understand then he gets nuts. Shuli said it's like talking to a cave man.
Howard said Ronnie is street smart. He said one time they were driving to work and this guy came over to him and said they hit him. He said then he starts pounding on the window at the red light. He said Ronnie let him do his thing and then left and called the cops. He said he handled it well. Ronnie said he remembers that. He said they were making a turn and not even moving and then the guy was there. He said the guy claimed he hit him but he never did. Howard said the cops say it's a regular scam that people do.
Howard said this guy was trying to shake Ronnie down for a couple of bucks. He said he kept his calm. He said this guy was pretty aggressive. Shuli said he saw Ronnie tackle a guy at a club once. He said they found out the guy was blind later on. Ronnie said who cares if he was blind. Shuli said his fold up stick came out when they picked him up. Ronnie said the guy was on stage trying to attack someone.
Howard said they have to get back to the year in review. He said they have 5 years to get to it so they can stop it soon.
Gary said they haven't really started the year in review. He said they were just talking about Ronnie. Howard said grey can start it tomorrow then. He asked what Gary has about Ronnie. Gary said it all started in January when he talked about getting a happy ending in the bathtub. He said someone asked if Stephanie had to lift his balls up in the tub and that set him off. Howard had a clip of Ronnie freaking out about them saying that his balls hang low. He insisted that they're tight.
Gary said he has more. He said Ronnie was constipated and talked about digging the shit out of his ass. They played a clip where Howard talked to Ronnie about that.
Howard said that was a great moment in the show in 2020. He said that Ronnie had to bend over and pull out his own doody. He said that was a great moment. Ronnie said that was during the show too. He said they were already in quarantine.
Howard asked Gary if he has anything else. Gary said they had Nikki Glaser on the show and she told a story about blowing a guy who didn't cum and Ronnie got on to tell her how to get it done. Howard played the clip of Ronnie giving her advice on how to do it.
Howard said that was a good moment. He said he had a spectacular year on the show. Robin said she's not sure that Nikki had any idea of what to actually do.
Howard asked Gary if he has anything else. Gary said he has a non sex moment when Ronnie fascinated the audience. He said Ronnie refused to tell them who he was voting for so Ralph said he would reveal his true sexuality if he did and he didn't budge. Gary had a montage of clips that went through that whole ordeal.
Howard asked Ronnie who he voted for. Ronnie said he's not going to say. Howard asked who cares and just say it. Ronnie wasn't answering.
Howard said he's not sure if that was a highlight or a low light. He said hearing Ralph talking about his sexuality would have been a slam dunk. He said that would have been a great moment on the show. He said that's a low light of the show. He said it was a dark day for Stern Nation. Ronnie said we can't all be perfect.
Howard asked if Gary has anything else. Gary said he does. He said that Ronnie saved the best for last. He said it's when he talks about his sex life that he shines. He said they had the two dildos made for Sal and Richard's cocks and they revealed that to Ronnie after he tested them in his ass. Howard played a clip where they revealed to Ronnie that it was Sal and Richard's cocks. Ronnie said there's no way that was their cocks.
Howard said Ronnie did have a great 2020. He said that he had some low moments too but there were some great ones.
Howard said it must be a turn off that it was Sal and Richard's cocks that he put in his ass. Ronnie said there's no way that was Sal's cock. He said look at this thing. He said there's no hanging skin like there is on his real dick. Sal said he loves how he just picked that up like it was a pencil on his desk.
Howard said in 2021 they're going to have Sal fuck Ronnie in the ass for real. He said he has to wrap up this thing. He said they'll go through this tomorrow and get to the rest of the year in review. He said they'll bring everyone back for that. He said he has to remind everyone that Ronnie has an iPhone now. Ronnie said it's not working yet. He said he's having trouble switching contacts. He said Stephanie got some of it off but there's a lot that he needs and he can't get them off.
Shuli said the best was when Ronnie would have that Blackberry up to his face squinting at it trying to read it. Howard asked if he got the big iPhone. Ronnie said he got the 11. Howard said the 12 would be good for him. He said that he could have a bigger font with that. Ronnie said the 11 is bigger than the Blackberry. Howard asked how he types on it. Ronnie said he has no choice but to figure it out. Howard said they'll see how he does. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:30am.
Howard said Robin has a nice top on. He said Ralph sent him some new clothes from the city. He said he wanted Beth to look at it. He said every jacket he has is the same. He said she told him they're all black and look the same. He said don't piss on his parade. He said he's not getting hair cuts so his hair is big and long. He said put the camera up to his face and Leslie West looks better than him and he's dead. He said he looks half dead himself.
Howard said they're working on pulling the camera back and maybe putting it in Connecticut where Gary is. He said he's so gross. Robin said stop being so hard on yourself. He said she was created by the person who created every human. Howard asked if she's seen his parents. He said it's a miracle that he's as good looking as he is. He said he was born with really bad genetics. He said it's like Frankenstein had a kid. He said he's probably the best case scenario for those genetics. He said he's shocked that they were even willing to have a baby out of that genetic mess. He said you have to take a hard look at yourself before you have a kid.
Robin said sometimes you have a really beautiful baby. Howard said sometimes the best looking people make a mess. He said he's sort of the George Clooney of his family. He said it's pretty awesome. He said he's about as hot as he can get so he's changed his attitude. Robin said get some positivity going. Howard did impressions of his parents talking about making babies and how they're going to have a beautiful baby. He said no you're not.
Howard said he was watching the Leslie West thing last night and his hair didn't have good height. He said it was like a bundt cake that didn't rise. He said it was like they were trying to make bagels with his hair and it came out as matzo.
Howard said he thought that he looked so bad it was taking away from the obituary. He said he wants to apologize to Leslie's widow. He said they had some nice clips they had in there and he feels bad he put it out. He said there was a lot of feeling in it but it was blocked by his face. He said he cried during it because he was looking at video of himself. He said he looked pretty bad.
Howard said he said yesterday that his new year's resolution is to not walk hunched over. He said he was trying to sit up straight but he gets exhausted from trying. He said it's exhausting on his back muscles. He said when he just hunches over he's much happier. He said he's such a mess.
Howard said Beth gets more beautiful with age. He said he's trying to keep up. He said when they met they were kind of stunning together. He said he was nice and thin and you could by that she was into him. He said now you can't see it. He said she swears that she loves being with him though. He said she thinks he's entertaining and fun. He said maybe not fun but she thinks that she'd say something like that. He said he's not sure what she thinks but she says she likes being in the house with him. He said they both want to stay in. He said they enjoy it a lot.
Howard said they have friends who ask Beth if Howard isn't letting her out of the house. He said she says no. He said people think he's locking her up. He said they're in quarantine. He said Beth isn't more outgoing than he is. He said she will rally and have fun with people. He said she pretends to be fun. Robin said she has a good act.
Howard said they have friends who say they're quarantining but they go out and hang out with people and then they're shocked when they get COVID-19. Robin said she has a friend who was in an Uber and he got COVID. She said he was sitting in the front seat with the driver. Howard said it's like he's looking for it. Robin said the guy sneezed and coughed. Robin said he got it and the guy in the middle of the back got it. Howard said people are so dumb.
Howard said the situation down in Georgia is interesting. He said they lost the election down there because these republicans have gotten so weird. He said they seem like they want a Hitler in office. He said they want a win even if there's an end to our democracy. Robin said it means power to them. She said they think that no one will be able to defy them. Howard asked who wants to live here if we can't have democracy. He said we can't have a guy who is pressuring people for the win. He said he has voted for tons of republicans but he could never vote for one again based on this.
Howard said this whole thing is mind boggling. He said they want Trump to be out supreme leader. He said he doesn't get it. Howard said of course they lost down there. He said they should never win an election again. He said any American or service man should see that it's the end of our country with these guys. He said he finds it frightening.
Robin said it's guys who have to get the win in chess no matter what. Howard said that's what he saw when he was playing chess. He said they just had to win online. He asked what the fuck is wrong with you.
Howard said his mother won a radio contest and they were told they won a STP Motor Oil treatment and a windbreaker from STP. He said that's what they won. He said it would have been better if they knew the answers. He said his mother choked though. Howard did his impressions of his mother and father discussing that contest.
Howard said it was like world war III broke out when his father came home to that. He said his father had to go to work in the city and it was a tough day for him. He said it was a miserable trip. He said he had to go to work and he was always aggravated. He said then he'd come home another 2 hours or whatever to get home to his palace. He said they were the only white family in a black neighborhood and that's what he was coming home to.
Howard said he remembers his mother telling his father about that Julius La Rosa had called. He said he tried to help with the story and his father told him to shut up. He said he's not sure why they had him sit there with them. He said he had dinner at 4 and then his father would come home. He said his mother would tell him to sit there with the family. He said that he wanted out of that family.
Howard said his mother didn't remember what the guy asked her for the questions. He said he'd try to help and his father would tell him to shut up. He said his father would be screaming while eating his veal cutlets. He said he's eating some baby cow so he can shit it out later that night. He said he's consuming it and food is flying out all over the place. He said it was a disaster. He said he had to get out of there with some self esteem intact.
Howard said he had an indomitable spirit. He said he tried to blow his brains out with a 4 hits of acid. He said that didn't work. He said he kept going on.
Howard said his stomach would hurt when he got ready for school because he knew he was going to get his ass beaten. He said that he knew there would be some shakedown or something going on at school. He said then he'd get home and his dad would come home to scream. He said every day was like war. He said this is why he likes being in lock down. He said bad stuff happens as soon as you leave the house.
Robin said her house was her nightmare so that's why she wants out of her house all the time.
Howard said his point was that Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island was that she won that trip because of a radio contest. Howard said this thing that his mother won from STP was crap. He said it was a shitty wind breaker. He said they wrapped the STP can in the windbreaker and the oil leaked on it so it ruined the windbreaker. He said they didn't want the STP or the windbreaker anyway. He said his father yelled and screamed for weeks after that. He said they didn't even want the thing and he was still upset. He said it all comes off looking bad. He said radio promotions in general are bad. He said it's not shocking that they wrote this into the TV show Gilligan's Island.
Howard said when Mary Ann won the promotion he knows what was going on at the radio station. He said they were looking to give away something cheap and they hired Gilligan and Skipper to take them out on a 3 hour tour. Robin said the boat was probably shitty too. She said no one was supposed to make it back. Howard said Skipper was a fatso and Gilligan was an imbecile. Robin said neither of them knew anything. Howard said they were like the Three Stooges.
Howard said when they were at K-Rock they were pulling in huge ratings and they were number 1. He said they were doing some kind of giveaway with TiVo. He said somehow they were involved with this. He said someone won a prize on the station and it was a TiVo. He said the guy who won was a nice guy and he waited a year and didn't get his prize. He said the guy called the station and said he'd love to get it a year later. He said by that time he would have given up. He said this guy kept calling the station asking for it. He said the station's point of view was that it was TiVo's obligation. He said it wasn't even them who sponsored it. He said it was some other company. He said for some reason this guy wasn't getting his TiVo. He said the next thing you know they had this guy from 7 On Your Side doing a report on it. He said this was the local news. He said the next thing you know they're in the lobby trying to interview Tom Chiusano. He said it was terrible for everyone there. He said this report was horrible. Robin said they finally get publicity and it's all bad.
Howard said it was like all hell was breaking loose. He said this is why radio is a fourth rate medium. He said no one that good was on radio and it was typical of them to have this kind of contest going on.
Howard said the whole thing would have cost the station $300 to pay the guy for the TiVo. He said they could have avoided all of that. He said if you do win something on radio then don't take it. He said it can only bring you bad luck. He said when he got on radio he wanted to give away cash if anything. He said that way people can spend it the way they want. He said cash is king.
Howard said whoever invented Gilligan's Island is really inventive. He said that story about Mary Ann is great. He said the boat was the SS Minnow and that was the FCC chairman at the time. He said that he had called TV a vast wasteland. He said it's all coming together now. He said it's all very diabolical.
Gary said they did a promotion at K-Rock to win a trip to the Final Four for the NCAA finals. He said part of the thing was that he was supposed to have brunch with the winners. He said he asked how the trip was and it took 9 hours to get there for them. He said grey had to fly to Atlanta to Indianapolis and that's why it took 9 hours. Howard said that's what he means.
Howard said no one wants a 3 hour tour. He said that he can't think of a worse hell than being trapped on a boat for 3 hours. Robin said it wasn't very big either. Howard said the whole thing was horrible. He said it was so bad that their ship was wrecked in a storm. He said it wasn't built for storms.
Howard said he woke up obsessed with this story. Robin said she never thought about it that deeply. Howard said you don't think about how bad that trip must have been. He said that the radio promotion thing fits in. He said Gilligan looked like a hobo in those clothes he wore. He said that's who they won the radio trip with.
Howard said they should do an update for Gilligan's Island where they send them to the NCAA finals and they get lost on the way. He said it's such shit they give away.
Robin said the other thing was at WNBC that they gave away a tissue box. She said that was an awful gift. She said what a great addition to your home. Howard said that will fit right in at your home.
Howard said every time they'd ask someone what their favorite radio station was they'd say it was WNBC and they'd win a free tissue box. Howard said that wasn't cool. He said other stations were cooler and no one wanted a WNBC thing. He said they had posters of Imus that they'd give away. He said he'd love to know who hung that in their house. He said it was a horrible poster.
Howard said he remembers getting the job and he shows up the first day and met with the GM and he gave him a gift. He said it was one of Imus' posters. He said he asked what that was. He said the GM told him that it was a limited edition. He said it was bullshit because they had tons of them laying around the station. He said this is what he got as a welcoming gift. He said he opened it and stared at it. He said he didn't know what to do with it. He there was a model behind him staring thought he Venetian blinds to see Imus. He said that no one is buying that he's sexy. He said it's like when Trump walks around saying he's the perfect weight. He said it's like Kim Jong Un saying he has super powers and he's a good basketball player. He said this is the craziest story he's ever seen. He said this poster is wild. He said people are afraid to tell him that it's an absurd poster.
Howard said this woman in the poster is looking like she's orgasmic. Howard said the guys just sent a note saying that they can share the poster with him. He said it's just as he described it. Howard took a look and Robin saw it too. Howard said he wants to know who came up with this concept. He said he has to write a book about it. He said that's the gift he got as a welcoming gift. He said he wondered what the fuck people thought of this. He said that's radio.
Howard said radio guys have low self esteem. Robin said he had the lowest. Howard said you don't make a poster like that if you don't have low self esteem. Howard said the guys can take that poster down now. He said it's bringing back bad memories.
Howard said he should have left NBC as soon as he saw that poster. He said that was the creator of ''How's your donkey kong.'' He said rest in peace.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that his buddy won a contest from a country station and won a trip to the Las Vegas music festival that had the mass shooting. Howard said that's what he's saying. Just stay home if you win a contest. The caller said that they were okay when they went. Howard said thanks for sharing that.
Howard said he thinks the shooter at that festival was upset because he won a tissue box from WNBC.
Howard said the Titanic was the first radio contest giveaway. He said they gave way tickets to that trip. He said they also gave away tickets to United 93. He said good luck when you win.
Howard said he won't watch. He said the idea that Alex was in pain is tough. He said that he sees clips of Rush Limbaugh now and they say he's dying of cancer. Robin said she doesn't believe that. Howard said he looks better than ever in the clips he's seen. Howard said if he was told he had a couple of months to live he's sure not going to sit here with you folks. He said no offense but he's not going to die entertaining you.
Howard said Robin was there every day working when he thought she was dying. Howard said after he does the show he feels bad for goofing on Gary. He said he was harsh on him for organizing his record collection. He said that people wrote in about how funny grey found that too. Robin said she was thinking she shouldn't have laughed so hard at him either. Gary said he finds the record stuff funny too. Howard said people were divided about that whole thing. He said they egg him on about the whole thing. He said he's really sincere about the whole thing. He said it seems like a colossal waste of time to him.
Gary said his wife asked him to get it off the floor so he organized it. He said she says it's not coming with them to their next house but it is.
Howard read some fan feedback about Gary and goofing on him yesterday about his vinyl collection yesterday. Howard said there's no way he's going to listen to vinyl. He said it's a waste of time to have that collection. He said his life is empty and meaningless if you're doing that. He said if you're cataloging your collection then you're mediocre in life. He said you're just one of the masses. Fred played the sound of static from a vinyl record. He told Gary he's not talking about him. He said if you want to be mediocre in life then sit at home and make sure that Procol Harem is in the P collection. Gary said grey had people calling in about it on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. He said they have different sections for their collections.
Gary said that he knows that Eddie Vedder does that with his collection. Robin said he had someone do it for him. Howard said he's not sitting there doing it himself. He said he can tell him that for a fact. He said at least he's a musician. He said that he's not sure what Gary is. Gary asked if he can't love music. Howard said the music he loves is so shitty. He said he listens to Steely Dan over and over. Robin said he was mentioning songs yesterday that were so awful. She said it was like the WNBC playlist. Howard said Eddie Vedder has his own Baba Booey to organize his collection.
Howard read some fan feedback and agreed that he's being mean to Gary. He said he knows that he's like that. He said if he wasn't on the air and had that conversation with Gary about organizing his records he'd be complaining to his wife and not doing it on the air. Gary said it was just a couple of hours one day. He said it wasn't his whole vacation.
Howard read more fan feedback about Gary's collection and people were asking how they should organize their own stuff. Gary had some suggestions.
Gary told Howard he has a soundtrack section for his albums. Howard asked if it's separate or under S for Soundtrack. Gary said it's separate. Howard said this discussion is like a gas leak. He said it slowly kills you and sucks the life out of you.
Howard read some feedback from fans who love him goofing on Gary. He had a bunch of feedback from fans who loved that stuff. Howard said he has Gary Audio Book on the phone to talk about his paper route. He took the call and the guys were playing clips of Gary going on and on about that paper route. Howard said he has to go. He said he's starting to lose his life.
Howard read more feedback about goofing on Gary about his vinyl. He said he does love Gary. He said he knows there are times when it sounds contentious. Gary said he understands that he has a hobby that Howard doesn't like and he'll never get it. He said that he won't take it personally. Howard asked if it's really a hobby. He said all he's doing is collecting records. He said it may be a hobby. Gary said he's not sure if it's even a hobby. Howard said you can listen to music at any time on any streaming service. He said you don't learn anything from that hobby. He asked why not take up guitar. He said maybe he should pick a hobby for him. Gary said that he has a guitar at home that Leslie West gave to him. He said that he told him that he was going to take it back if he didn't learn it. He said he did take lessons but he didn't think that he was that into it so he stopped. Howard said try sticking with it. He said never mind cataloging these records. He said turn yourself into Superman so people will be impressed with you.
Gary asked if he does anything in his life that doesn't better him. Howard said no. He said everything has a purpose. He said painting to him has a purpose. He said he can show off his purpose with his painting. He said he has learned how to master something by doing it. He said cataloging records isn't bettering him. He said it doesn't make any sense.
Gary said Robin is a wine connoisseur. He said that's her hobby. Howard said that's not her hobby. He said that he would be able to ask her what the top 3 wines are if it was her hobby. Robin said she doesn't spend a lot of time on wine. She said she has a wine collection but that's stupid. She said that she has 3 pallets of boxes of wine in her garage that she's not going to do anything with. She said that she can't believe that she did that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why Gary's collection wasn't already in order. He said when you buy them you put them in order. Gary said they were in boxes and they went from house to house. He said they were boxed up and had to be reboxed. He said he hadn't had a chance to organize them. He said he finally got around to doing it. He said he thinks he has about 2000 albums. Howard asked if he keeps them all or throws some out. Gary said he had a huge pile that he didn't want and he gave some of them to his nephew. He said he has some newer bands that his son took. He said he has some that he gives away. Gary said he has Private Parts on red vinyl.
Howard said he had these picture disks that were very rare and he threw them right out. Gary said he has as a few picture disks too. He said it's great stuff.
Howard said some people say goof on him and some say don't goof on him. He said that he does feel bad about goofing on him at times. He said that he will call Gary and tell him he's sorry at times. Gary said he won't take it personally so don't worry about it.
Howard said he wanted to talk about Alex Trebek and not Gary. He said he can't watch Alex doing his final week of shows. He said he was taping them while he was in pain and suffering. He said he doesn't want to see that. He said on his final day he recorded a special message about how the world should treat each other. He said that he knew he wasn't going to be there. He read some of the message and thought about how bitter he would be if he was dying. He said he would be like ''fuck you'' and say that he can't believe that you get to live and he doesn't.
Howard said he'd be so angry if he was dying and had those final shows to do. He said he'd be wishing that there's an ice age because of the way people are treating this planet.
Howard played some audio of Alex from his final shows where he didn't sound so great. Howard said the guy kept himself in great shape and this cancer still got him.
Howard played more of the message Alex gave about what he'd like the world to be. Alex said we're trying to build a gentler, kinder world. He said that he'd like that to happen.
Howard said he'd be so angry if that were him. He said he needs to live. He said he knows there's nothing after this. He said take a sick child instead of him. He said he'd make deals for that.
Howard said this guy spent his final days in a TV studio. Robin said he had something like 2 weeks after that. Howard said you could see that he wasn't doing well. He said that had to be tough. Robin said he was an amazing man to deliver any kind of message.
Howard said he gave an angry message in a prank call. He said the guys taped him screaming about how he would have been. He said that the guys took that and called a radio show. He said he'll play that. He played the clip where the guys called this show and played audio of him complaining as if he were dying of pancreatic cancer.
Howard said as long as he has the fan mail there he should read more. He said most of it was about Gary and how mean he was to him. He said that he knows he's mean. He said that he would enjoy listening to that if he were at home listening to the radio.
Howard read some feedback about the Brandi Carlile discussion they had. He had some comments from fans who really enjoyed that performance. Howard said he knows she's a country artist but she's really not. He said she does a lot of rock stuff.
Howard said he was listening to Brandi covering ''Black Hole Sun'' and she does a Soundgarden song called ''Searching with My Good Eye Closed'' and he had never heard that song. He said that they open their shows with that song and she does a cover of it. He said it sounds pretty good. He played some Brandi's version of the song. Howard said that proves that she can rock.
Howard said that people wrote in about the COVID vaccine in Florida. He said he has a friend who says you can walk into a pharmacy and get the vaccine. He got some feedback about that and this guy said he's not able to get it where he lives down there. Howard said we all need help around the country. He said that this country is being led by assholes right now. He said there's a vaccine and we can't even get it here in America. Howard read more feedback about the vaccine thing down there in Florida. People said it's a mess down there.
Howard said that somehow people are okay with this President and even want to overturn the election. He said everything is so disorganized. He said that they want to let the states run it and that's going just great too. He said everything is just great. Howard said what a nightmare it is.
Howard said people apparently want a dictator to run this country. He said they're going to take away your right to vote. He said he's had it. He said he has to get back to the Year in Review.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that years ago they did a giveaway where they gave a Jet Ski to a handicapped guy. Howard said that's right. He said they gave it to a guy who was completely paralyzed. He said don't accept anything you win on radio.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he can't be a singer because he can't take himself seriously singing lines like in that Bruno Mars song. Robin said you have to be willing to sing gibberish to be a performer. Howard said that guy is really talented but he's almost out the door. He said he's sitting home staring at his guitar wondering why he bothered. Robin said he's thinking of how to organize his records.
Howard said he's not sure how Alex Trebek did it. He said he was apparently in horrible pain at the end. He said that he's sort of healthy himself and yesterday his head was pounding after the show. He said he made himself some protein bread and was sitting there thinking about how he left his phone down in the studio. He said he didn't want to go get it. He said it was downstairs and he just made his eggs and toast. He said he wanted to complain to someone but Beth wasn't around.
Howard said he likes to read his phone when he eats so he can keep his mind off of things. He said he doesn't want to sit there and think. He said he did that for four hours before lunch.
Howard said they threw everything out with paper on it. He said all he had was ''Dan's Paper'' and they put his painting on the cover of it. He said they have a local artist put their painting on the cover. He said he told his wife he wishes that his paintings would be on there. He said they interviewed Beth about animal rescue and he said he wishes they'd put his painting on there. He said she asked and they said they would put it on there. He said he was so excited about that. He said this was more exciting than anything he's done in his career. He said he was really excited about it because he's excited about painting. He said it was sort of his debut.
Howard said he submitted a few of his paintings and they chose this one he did in sepia. He said they did an interview with him about painting. He said he almost sounded like a painter telling them about the painting.
Howard said that was the only thing he had to read in the kitchen. He said that he was thinking about Alex Trebek getting up and doing those shows just weeks before he died. He said that he told Beth how he had forgot his phone downstairs and she volunteered to get it. He said he told her that's not why he told her that. He said he was lying about that. He said he's a filthy, stinking liar. He said Beth didn't care though. He said she went down and got it for him. He said he told her he felt terrible for making her do that. Robin said thank goodness she knows him.
Howard said he had his phone up to watch TV on it. He said it's covered in cat fur. He said you open the case and there's a mountain of hair in there. He said he rolls it with a fabric roller to get the fur out.
Howard said he's worried about Yoda their cat. He said he's getting surgery today. He said his breath was smelly and he was wiping his mouth so you know there's something wrong in there. He said he's the greatest cat ever. He said he doesn't want anything bad to happen to him.
Howard said Yoda was supposed to die just a month after they got him but he's been with them for 8 years now.
Howard said Alex Trebek did his final 2 weeks of shows in just 2 days. Howard said he can't take that. He said there must be something wrong with him. He said he has to do another 5 years there. He said his psychiatrist got an ear full yesterday about that. He said he was barely able to get through the show. He said his psychiatrist said we both know that's not true. Robin said he doesn't take his B.S.
Howard said he's not sure when Ronnie runs out of energy. He said he never quiets down. Robin said he didn't even remember that he sang at the Christmas Zoom party. Howard said he thought it was interesting that he rides Stephanie with that harness. He said he should produce a reality show with those two.
Howard said there was a story about this actress named Tanya Roberts. Robin said she was an Angel on Charlie's Angels. She said she wasn't a great actress but she looked great. She said she was a Bond Girl at one point too. She said that she was in Sheena Queen of the Jungle too.
Howard said the story is that she died from a urinary tract infection. He said he didn't know it could get that bad. He said this woman died and they say that she had a boyfriend and they had him on a show and he looked like one of those guys who waits on line at a comic book convention waiting to get an autograph. He said he somehow married her. He said that he read that the guy left the hospital and saw her and said she died. He said while they were interviewing him on Inside Edition his phone rang and she was on the phone. He said he thought she had died but she called him. He said she was alive for a full day but now she's really dead. Howard played a clip from Inside Edition where the guy found out that she was alive.
Howard said this is why he tells Gary to double check his work all the time. He said you have to double and triple check it.
Howard said he thinks Tanya was in her 60s. He said he hasn't done full research. Robins said she was 65. Howard said he's sorry to hear it.
Howard said that Ronnie was upset with that guy who beat that woman in the porno but he fights with his girlfriend all the time. Ronnie said they're not real nasty. He said that's just them. He said they laugh about it all. Shuli said that's how they talk to each other all the time. He said he spent a week with them in Florida once and that's how they were.
Howard asked if Ronnie is afraid that they will put off a bad vibe with that. Ronnie said they all know it's bullshit. Howard said it's fighting all the time. He said he's assuming people like it. JD said it entertains him. He said he was around them once when they were really mad at each other and it was very awkward and uncomfortable. He said it was at a strip club a few years ago. He said he thinks it's funny most of the time though. Wolfie said that he was there with them in Vegas once and Stephanie got up and walked away from him at one point. He said it was very awkward. He said Ronnie was pissed at her about ordering the wrong food. Ronnie said he told her to send it back and she refused so he kept insisting. He said she wouldn't listen to him because she gets stubborn.
Howard said you can't fix it if someone doesn't like something. He said you can't keep insisting. Ronnie said he could tell that she was annoyed. Howard asked why she walked away. Ronnie said he wanted her to have what she really wanted.
Ronnie said he doesn't want her to be upset so he was trying to help. Howard said that upset her though. He said he thinks that Ronnie yelling at her hurt more than having the wrong food. Ronnie said they talked about it later and she was fine. Howard asked why yell at her though. Robin said that what she's getting out of this is if that girl who had her head shoved in the toilet had laughed, it would have been okay. Ronnie told her to stop it.
Howard said Ronnie is making things worse by yelling at her. Jason said that he's sure that woman who had her head shoved in the toilet said it was fun later on. Ronnie said no way that happened.
Howard asked what Shuli experienced. Shuli said they were in Florida and they were driving to the hotel and they were screaming at each other the whole time. He said it was the whole ride home. Shuli said that she's just as stubborn as Ronnie is. He said it never ends.
Howard said he would think that he'd try to cherish her. He said he was watching The Crown and Prince Charles was being a dick to Princess Diana. He said he doesn't get that. He said he'd think that Ronnie would try to be nice to her.
Robin said what bothered her was that time Ronnie pushed Stephanie into the pool after she got dressed up for a party. Ronnie said she didn't care. Jason said she cared. Gary asked if she takes it out on him when she pegs him. Ronnie said she's very gentle with him.
Howard had a montage clip of Ronnie and Stephanie arguing about various things. Howard said that's Mr. America.
Howard said yesterday Ronnie did his porn reviews and he was a big hit with that. He said they went over some of his highlights too. He said he contributed a lot to the show. He said they talked about him digging shit out of his asshole. Ronnie said he still thinks about that. He said he's been using Metamucil lately. He said it's pretty good. He said what's great about it is that when you take a shit it all comes out at once. He said there's hardly any remnants. He said there's nothing on the toilet paper. He said it comes out like Carvel and that's it. Howard said that's why he told him to get on it. He said that way you don't have to pull shit out of your ass. Ronnie said what happened that morning was really scary.
Howard asked if it's true that he was out at a restaurant on New Year's Eve. Ronnie said he was at someone's house. He said he's been with them the whole time. Howard said COVID is crazy right now. He said that you interview these people and find out that they weren't careful at all when they say they are. He said they say they're only with people who grey know. He said you don't know if they're being safe. Ronnie said he knows what they're doing. Howard said you think you do. He said now the hospitals are so full you have to drop dead at home.
Sal said he has a new one. He said he hates saying this stuff. He said he locked eyes with a squirrel and communicated with him. Howard said he's going to ask for no laughter during this because he knows he's serious.
Sal said he had meditated and this squirrel was out in the yard after. He said its back was to him so he slowly went to he window and he was about 4 feet away from him. He said it slowly turned around and looked right into his eyes. He said he looked back and they were studying each other. He said it was communicating with him and this was a message that all creatures are important. He said that a squirrel would never stop and look at you. He said they were locked for a minute straight.
Howard asked JD why he's laughing and not taking this seriously. Sal said it was right after his meditation. JD was cracking up. Howard asked what's so funny. JD said he loves Sal. JD was laughing so hard that he was tearing up and his glasses were fogging. Sal said this is hard for him to share because of this. Howard said he knows.
Howard said JD had his back to him and now he's staring at him. Howard said the idea of a squirrel turning around and looking at you doesn't seem that unusual. He said he had that happen to him many times in his life. Sal said it was like a moment of enlightenment for him. He said this squirrel was fixated on him. He said this one was locked on him. Howard asked what it was saying to him. Sal said he was saying that they're all in this together. He said it's everything in nature.
Howard asked if he's still eating meat. Sal said he is. He said he can't turn down a meatball sub. Howard asked why Sal is here on earth. Sal said he's not sure. He was wondering why cows are here. He said we all have a purpose and a path.
Robin said the squirrel didn't do a thing but Sal had a moment of enlightenment. She wondered if Sal would get a better score than a squirrel on a test. Howard said he'd love to be a human being and not a rat with a fluffy tail. He said he thinks that the squirrel was happy he wasn't a human being when it saw Sal.
Howard asked Jason what else he has. Jason said that Sal loved the word ''Mitigate'' and they put him on the spot and had him define what he meant. They played a clip of Sal talking about what mitigate meant to him. He was using the word in the wrong way.
Howard asked Jason what else he has. Jason said that in July Sal stretched his foreskin and shoved it in his own asshole for them. They played a clip from that moment on the show.
Robin asked what inspired that. Sal said there was a guy who was able to juggle his balls so he wondered what he could do with his penis and asshole and that's what he came up with. Howard said he may not be able to top this stuff. He said he's not sure what animals he's going to communicate with.
Howard asked Sal about sleeping with a red jasper stone to help him with his dreaming. Sal said it keeps you grounded. Howard said some people sell you stuff that's bullshit. Sal said he bought a piece of coal from the Titanic but it turns out it was fake. Howard said this stuff is very reminiscent of his father. Sal said this red jasper comes from the earth like the rest of us do. He said things help you out in different ways.
Howard said he's comparing that stone to kale. He said this stone just sits there and he thinks it has powers. Sal said it has qualities to it. Gary said so does Arsenic. Sal said these are good qualities. He said people on YouTube have talked about it. Gary said Sal says it helps you align your shockra.
Sal said he came across a video of the powers of red jasper and he keeps it by his tail bone between his ass cheeks kind of. He said it helps you align your shockra.
Howard asked Jason what else he has. Jason said that Natalie Maines was on the show and asked for Sal to do his ass thing again. They played a clip from that show where Sal did it for her and she cracked up.
Jason said that was just a little bit of Sal from 2020. Howard said it sounds like Sal is off to another great start for 2021 with his stone and the animal thing. He asked who he's following for the meditation thing. Sal said the name is hard to say. He attempted it and the guys were all cracking up. Howard asked him to say it over and over. Sal said he's a monk and he has sent him zero dollars. Howard said it's going to be a great 2021. Robin said she loves that he throws around the term enlightenment but how has he been enlightened. Howard said the squirrel didn't really tell him anything. Sal said it was about awareness.
Howard said the squirrel is on the phone and he's upset with JD for laughing. Howard took the call and the guys played some noises for the squirrel and that lasted about 2 seconds.
Howard took a call from fake Sal's wife who went off on him about this red jasper stone and the squirrel thing. She said the best thing that happened in 2020 was Sal learning how to fuck himself so she doesn't have to. Robin said imagine Sal taking the stand and someone asks him about being able to talk to squirrels. Sal's wife said she's having an affair with a chipmunk. Howard said if she takes him to court he's going to be terrible in court. Howard said that they're off to a great 2021 already.
Howard said the look on Erik's face is so blank. He said he has nothing upstairs and he's gone. Shuli said it's the same way the squirrel was staring at Sal.
Howard asked what else Shuli has. Shuli said that High Pitch Erik sent a dick pic to Andy Cohen. He said he has a clip of him opening that picture. They played a clip of Andy talking about what he was seeing in that picture.
Howard said there was nothing to see there. He said it was just belly. He said it was like one ball there. He said there could be 10 balls in there for all they know. He said Chris told him that Erik had the smallest dick he's ever handled.
Shuli said 2020 was the year of conspiracy theories. He said they asked Seany to sort them out for them. He had a montage of clips of Seany talking about his wacky conspiracy theories. It all ends when grey ask him about Justin Bieber and he refuses to talk about him.
Howard asked what's going on in that head. He said there are 70 million people in this country just like him. He said they're all imbeciles. Shuli said that it's great when you bring up Bieber and he completely shuts down. Howard said he loves when he calls in.
Howard asked Shuli what else he has. Shuli said he moved to Alabama in 2020. Howard laughed. He said that he's become the Wack Pack because he's been talking to them so long. Shuli said it was tough to leave and it was a lot of things that he was going to miss and one of the biggest was breaking the news to Underdog. He had a clip of that moment when he broke it to Underdog.
Howard said she's not crazy for asking him if he was still one of Stern's minions.
Howard asked who else Shuli has for 2020. Shuli said he thinks Wolfie may have a few Wack Packers he wants to bring up. Howard asked if Wolfie works there now. Wolfie said he just snuck in. Wolfie said 2020 has been very tough for the Wack Pack. He had some clips of Debbie the Cum Lady talking about how tough things have been for her trying to find guys to blow.
Howard said she's so comfortable talking about cum and drinking it. He said he doesn't find it that hot. He said she's acting like it doesn't come out of a guy's penis.
Howard asked Wolfie what else he has. Wolfie said the election dominated the news and Wendy the Slow Adult had some opinions on election night. They had a clip of Wendy talking about Trump being ahead in the election in Florida. She said it looks like he's going to win there. She said she knew he was going to win that night.
Wolfie said that Wendy told him last week that it's not over yet. Howard said it doesn't bother him when she says that but it does when other people do. Howard said even Wendy doesn't talk to squirrels. He said she's not that dopey.
Howard asked Wolfie what else he has. Wolfie said that Mark the Bagger talked about masturbation and how that's his hobby. He had a clip to play where Mark talked about masturbation and whispered to himself as he was talking to Wolfie.
Howard said that was interesting. He said he never got into pregnant porn. He asked what that fetish is. He said it must be about her having a baby inside of her. Wolfie said he's not sure. Sal said that's disgusting.
Howard said Sal is into that. Sal said he's not. He said he's very disturbed by it. Gary said Sal will watch a regular woman get peed on but not pregnant women.
Howard asked Benjy to talk about what it is that he likes about the pregnant porn. Benjy said it's the shape of the body. He said it can be very sexy but then he thinks about the baby inside and how that can be very abusive. He said that it's also that she's so horny. He said it's like when a woman fucks animals. He said it's about her being so horny.
Howard said maybe the woman is so out of shape that he thinks he can get her. Benjy said no. He said he watched a pregnancy porn last night and the woman was gross. He said that it might be in the 4th or 5th month that the woman looks good to him. He said maybe not in the 9th month. Howard said most of these girls look like Benjy when they're pregnant.
Jason said that the woman is also lactating. Benjy said that he didn't know they could do that. Howard thanked Benjy for the update. He said at least he did explain why it is that he's into it. He said there was some explanation in there.
Howard asked Wolfie if he has anything else. Wolfie said they played a lot of games with the Wack Pack so they had a game where they asked them what they wanted for Christmas. He had a clip where the Wack Pack talked about what they wanted. They played that montage where Tan Mom, Debbie the Cum Lady and Ham Hands Bill gave their wish lists.
Howard said this was some year. Robin said she's not sure what to say about it. She said there wasn't one Alex Trebek wish in there. She said they're all just about themselves.
Howard said that was a good reminder. He asked what else he has. Sal said he's going to pass the baton to Ronnie. Ronnie said Howard bitches about everything he hates so they made a montage of what Howard hates. He introduced that montage clip. They played the clip that went on for a good minute or so of just things Howard said he hated in 2020.
Howard said that was pretty miserable. He said what a miserable human being that guy is. He said it's good it's not him. Sal said he hated a soap dish. Howard said he hated that dish because it would collect water and soap disintegrated in it. He said now he has soap from a spritz bottle. He said he's not using bar soap by the sink anymore. Howard said he hates hearing what he hates because it brings up all the hate.
Howard asked if anyone cares that Jeff the Drunk is upset that he wasn't brought up in the Wack Pack thing. Everyone said they don't care. Howard took Jeff's call and Jeff said he hates that he wasn't part of that. He said he could have had some clips in there. He said you know they could have included him. He said that was a shitty way to start the year. He said thanks a lot mother fucker and hung up. Shuli did his impression of Jeff and Jeff said no one even knows what the fuck she looks like. They didn't know who he was talking about. Jeff said Debbie the Cum Lady. Gary said they're on the radio, it doesn't matter.
Howard let Jeff go. Shuli was doing his impression of Jeff with the puppet that Shuli created. Ronnie said that's a great puppet. Howard asked how that puppet is doing. Shuli did his Jeff impression and had Robin laughing. Howard had Shuli doing the impression the way he likes it. He likes it when Jeff mumbles and then says something that makes no sense. He was referring to him talking about Debbie but no one knew he was talking about her.
Howard said he has to talk about Steven Singer Jewelers. He did another live commercial read for them. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that Marvin Gaye's own father killed him. He said what a nightmare. Robin said he was a cross dresser and his father was going through some kind of dementia or something and that's what led to that. Howard said he forgot about that. He said what a fabulous singer and performer he was.
Robin said that she was watching the Bee Gees documentary and she noticed that there were a lot of packages showing. She wondered if they were stuffing their pants. She said they had Otis Redding on stage and he had a big package so maybe they were taking after him. Howard said it's all fake news. He said he has put a sock in his pants but he tells the audience.
Howard said guys think that's a turn on but it's not and it's a big disappointment when you get a woman in bed and you don't have that big package.
Howard took a call from a guy who kept saying hello so Howard did the same thing and they went back and forth for a couple of minutes. The caller hung up. Howard said that was good radio. Howard asked what he's doing wrong. He said he hears other shows and none of this happens.
Howard said at the end of 2020 Tan Mom started hanging out with this guy Adam Barta when he made recordings with her. Howard said it was a good thing because it was funny for a while. He said the sad thing is that they continue to make music. He said they have created a business together and they did a pay per view special. He said that they did a special on YouTube on New Year's Eve and it was free. He said that they're so horrible that they're fun to play on the air.
Howard asked JD how many people were watching this thing. JD said the highest number he saw was 35 at one point. He said that number was up and down the whole night. He said it was called Rockin' Tan Year's Eve. Howard asked what the end game is for Adam Barta. He asked if it's worth all of the energy. He said you have 35 people watching you. JD said he's not sure how they made money with it. He said they had a few guests on but they were pre-recorded. He said he's not sure.
Howard said it can be torture to watch this. JD said Tan Mom isn't the easiest person to talk to. Howard said when he has her on the show he cuts her off when it gets boring. He said an hour or two of a show is a lot. Robin said they have been telling them that it's not good but they won't stop. JD said they have done 5 episodes of Tan Talk. Howard asked why Adam is investing in this woman so much. He said it's not going to pay off. He said he must just enjoy it. JD said he might like the chaos that she brings. He said it keeps him on his toes.
Howard said Tan Mom calls the show saying she's quitting the show. He said she doesn't even work for the show. He said that he sees her on the phone often but he can't take all of her calls. He said she expects them to stop the show for her like she's Mick Jagger. JD said you live around her and she doesn't live around you.
Howard said yesterday Tan Mom called and said that she quit the show but then she said she had terrible dental work and blamed it on that. Robin said she thinks she's doing well and she must be under the impression that she makes the show great. Howard said he cold be interviewing Paul McCartney or Eddie Vedder and she'll call in and get pissed that he doesn't pick up on her.
Howard said Adam Barta and Tan Mom did a special on New Year's Eve and did it on YouTube. He said it was a bigger mess than usual. He said it's just horrible. He said if you spend your night watching this then you're pathetic.
Howard said Adam was in his new studio and Tan Mom was at home. He said she spent time talking about how Howard Stern should have been part of her special. He played a clip of her talking about that with Adam.
Howard said he has made way too many people interested in her. Shuli did his Tan Mom impression for Howard with the Tan Mom puppet. Howard said she starts out really slow and then works her way up to petering off with nothing to say. He said it's like she forgets her point halfway through it.
Howard said at one point Tan Mom tried to get Alexa to play music by REM. He said she kept calling it Alexis so it didn't work. Then she figured it out and Adam had to turn her audio off because he can't play copyrighted music. Howard played a clip of Tan Mom saying Alexis and asking for REM music. Then Adam had to turn her off when it started playing.
Howard said that he likes that she thinks that calling it Alexis doesn't matter like it should recognize the name.
Howard said at one point Tan Mom asked her son to help her get Adam on because she wasn't able to hear him. Shuli did his Tan Mom impression and had her calling for Addison her son but confusing it with Alexa. Howard played the clip of Tan Mom screaming for her son to come help. She could be heard but she wasn't able to hear Adam. She kept asking if she was on and Adam said yes but she didn't hear it. She told her son to stop hiding from the camera, the camera is life.
Howard said they had no indication that she was supposed to be entertaining anyone. Shuli said she has 3 shows going on in her head. Robin said it became sad when her son came on because there's a real kid there in her life.
Howard said there's a reality star named Mama June. Robin said she was on Honey BooBoo. Howard said Adam got her to be part of the show. He said Tan Mom lost her connection so Adam was interviewing Mama June. He said Tan Mom got pissed when she got back on and saw her on. He said she wanted nothing to do with Mama June.
Howard played a clip of Tan Mom going off on Mama June and asking what the fuck that was when she got back on. She said she was all scrambled again. Adam apologized for the technical difficulties.
Howard said Mama June had technical problems too. He said everyone who got on had problems. Howard said he never has problems with Zoom when he uses it.
Howard played a clip of Mama June talking about her issues with Zoom. Howard said the whole thing was so fucking irritating. Robin said you can get that when you have a bad connection. Howard asked what the fuck is going on there.
Howard said the clearest voice is the most annoying voice. Howard did his Adam Barta impression and kept asking for Tan Mom. Shuli did his Tan Mom voice and talked to him like they were doing the show.
Howard played more of the technical problems. He said the show was just full of technical problems. He said that wasn't the only problem. He said he has a montage of Tan Mom having no idea of what Adam was talking about. He said it's just one big disconnect. He played that clip where Tan Mom had no idea what Adam was talking about. JD said she was laying on her back doing this show. Howard had Shuli lay the puppet down as he did the impression.
Howard said the show wrapped up shortly after midnight. He said he thinks grey should do a show every New Year's eve. He said maybe he should end the show with a Tan Mom song. He said he has to see what this is. He said it's a song with all of her drops. He said it's a great bullet point or period at the end of this sentence. He played the song parody where they had clips of Tan Mom to a dance beat.
Howard started the song again when Shuli said he likes how she starts out sounding really low at the start. He did an impression of that and Fred played some drops over that.
Howard said that guy Bill called in earlier and wasn't able to hear them. He said he's back on so maybe now it'll work. Howard took his call and kept doing the ''hello'' thing again. Bill laughed this time knowing they were goofing on him. He had Tan Mom say hello too. Shuli did that. Fred was playing drops of Howard's mom, Gary and the Three Stooges saying hello.
Bill said this is unreal. Howard finally responded to him. Bill asked how Howard is doing. He said this is Bill from Arizona. Howard went back to saying hello over and over. Fred played a squirrel squeaking. Then one of the guys got on and said he was Bill from Arizona. JD was cracking up. Tan Mom said hi to Phil. Howard kept saying hello and asked if he was from Arizona. Bill said he is. He said he's in Tucson. Bill said they have like 5 people on at once. Fake Bill said he's the real Bill. Bill asked if he's got the right number. Howard said it is the right number. They kept going with the drops and fake Bill. Bill kept saying ''This is Bill from Arizona.''
Howard said now he has Bill from Barcelona on the line. He put him on with Bill from Arizona. Then fake Bill from Arizona said this is the real Bill. Real Bill insisted he was the original caller. Howard asked what happened to Bill from Arizona. He said he said he was still there. Bill from Barcelona was there too. Howard said he thinks he's had enough of this. Fred kept playing the ''Hello'' drops. Howard said he thinks he was caught in multiple universes. Robin said a bunch of lines must have merged. Howard said he thinks that it's Tan Mom who gets everyone confused. Shuli did a little more of that impression before Howard ended the show. He ended it around 10:30am.