Today's show was over around 12:45pm.
Howard and the guys were back from vacation this morning. Howard started the show talking about being back live. He said it was some year so they're going to do a year in review with the guys. Howard said they will look forward to 2018 as well. He said they said this SiriusXM would fail in weeks but they're still there in 2018. Howard said they're still under construction for the past 10 years. He said the bathrooms are all boarded up in there.
Howard wished happy new year to the guys and said that he has some Gary news. He said happy new year to Gary, JD, Jason and Ronnie who has a new catch phrase of ''Sixty five!.'' Howard said Brent is in there as well. He said Sal is there too. He said he will present some of the best of 2017. Robin asked if he still trades. Howard said he trades in bitcoin. He said he's such a great stockbroker.
Howard said they have been away for 2 weeks and he's not thrilled to be back. He said he didn't miss the guys. Howard said they have a meeting in the morning and there's something chemical about him that's anti social. He said he wants to be alone and by himself all the time. He said he's becoming more reclusive. Howard said he and Beth were invited to a New Years Eve party and he was home by quarter to 9. He said he met lovely people at the party but all the energy drains out of him. He said he got to the party at 7:45 and got out by 8:45. He said he loved it.
Howard said outside his window he had fireworks and he slept right through it. He said he remembers hearing them and he went back to sleep. He said he wants to be alone. He loves solitude.
Howard said he had a good time at the party while he was there. He said he had lovely food too. Gary asked how much time he had to socialize if he ate there. Howard said he sat with some guys who were twins and artists. Howard said there was a professor of poetry there too. He said imagine that. Ronnie said ''Yeah!'' Howard said he met a guy who played chess. He said they were talking about a lot of interesting things. He said he got up and left and remembered to take Beth with him.
Howard said he's glad he married a woman who is into solitude too. Robin said She doesn't believe that at all. Howard said Beth really does. He said she's on his wavelength. He said Beth loved leaving. Howard said they're both that way. Gary asked if he thinks he made her that way. Howard said She dreamed of a man like him. He said She had a boyfriend before She went to clubs and stayed out until 2 in the morning and it wasn't her scene. Robin said that's one kind of being out. She said this didn't seem like that kind of thing. Howard said She was tired of having fun. He said She met the right man.
Howard said women say they just want to sit around and watch movies in a relationship with a guy. Howard said he's that guy. Robin said women adapt. Sal asked if they adapt or just lie to stay hooked up with a guy. Howard said he rescued Beth from a life of fun. He said it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Howard said he can recommend some movies to you. He said he watched some movies. He said he won't go to a theater so he didn't see Star Wars. He said he doesn't like to go. Jason saw it and said he loved it. Robin said it was as good as the first Star Wars. Gary said Ralph hated it. Jason said he thought it went different places with the characters and they did it right. Gary said he heard Ralph was upset about something about the guy creating the death star and if he knew there was a flaw in it.
Howard said he has some notes about movies he saw. He said he liked Ladybird. He said he thought it was going to be about LBJ's wife but it wasn't. Howard said it was like a coming of age movie. He said he's always up for that. He said he's a teenager at heart. He said he liked that gay movie that takes place in Italy. He said they did advertising on the show. Robins said She saw that too and liked it. Howard asked what it was called. Robin said She doesn't know. It was ''Call Me By Your Name.'' Howard said that was good and the movie is another coming of age movie. He said one guy was like 17 and the other was in his 30s. He said it was good and he enjoyed that.
Howard said Gary Oldman plays Winston Churchill in a movie and he saw that. Howard said Beth wasn't going to watch it but he did. He said it was amazing. He said Gary Oldman looks like Churchill. He said you don't think it's Gary Oldman at all. He said the amazing thing was that he cried at the end. He said he really cried. He said no one wanted to stand up to Hitler and people needed someone to rally them to fight. He said everywhere was being conquered by Hitler and Churchill went after him. He said he couldn't live with that so he fought to the end. Howard said the people of England wanted to fight too. He said this guy worked every minute plotting and planning on how to motivate the people. He said it's the story of a guy who was a true patriot that we owe a lot to. He said he calls Roosevelt at one point and asks for planes and he can't get them. Howard said he was such a brave guy and he cared so much about his country. Howard said the King of England was going to leave and live in Canada. Howard said this guy cared about his country. He said there was no ego involved. Robin said She hopes our politicians see this movie. Howard said he hopes so.
Howard said you have to see this movie. He said they don't make guys like that anymore. Brent said he wants to see this movie now.
Howard said that Gary Oldman was so good in this movie. Robin said that there's a play where Uma Thurman changes a lot during the show. Robin said She is a consummate actress. Robin said women who are known for movie roles are not always good on stage but She is.
Howard said there's a documentary about Connor McGregor that's really good. Howard said he actually made him happy. He said he goes and fights people and he has such a great attitude. He said he wanted to be like him and laugh more. He said the guy has such a good attitude. He said he's an MMA fighter and he's just enjoying life. Robin said he would have stayed at the party longer than Howard. Howard said he is a happy go lucky guy. Gary said he looks like a dick a lot when he sees him. Howard said he's really not. He said he didn't come off that way to him. He said he thinks he trains and plays hard and he's a happy dude. Robin said it was interesting when he fought Mayweather. Robin said they embraced each other at the end of that fight. Howard said they have to pretend to hate each other. Sal said that Mayweather says he was carrying McGregor during that fight. Howard said he doesn't think so.
Howard said he saw another show that was good. He said his guilty pleasure was ''Jean Claude Van Johnson'' on Amazon. Howard said Jean Claude is looking older now. He said he works for the CIA or something as a spy. He said he becomes this new character. He said he goes out to kill people as this character. Howard said it's just a good show. He said he was laying in bed watching it. He said Beth asked what he was watching and just saying it pisses people off. Robin said She saw it on there and just went ''Ugh!'' Howard said there are only 4 episodes so far but there will be more.
Robin said Dave Chappelle did two more specials for Netflix. Robin said they are amazing. Robin said in the first one he's vaping through the whole thing. then in the second one She thinks it's just a joint the whole time. Howard said it is legal in California now.
Howard said they have the Year in Review coming up. He said they put a lot of work into this. He said they have all the guys in there to give their stuff. Robin said she's going to mention Uma Thurman one more time. She said She saw ''Come from Away'' as well. Howard said alright. He asked her to drop that. Robin said both of the houses were packed for that.
Howard said Beth did play it for him and he stopped for 3 nights. He said he went back to it after that. Howard played a clip of himself snoring.
Howard said that's horrible. He said his father used to do that and it's horrible. Gary said that his wife does that too. He said he had to say something to her. Howard said he doesn't want to be that guy. Robin asked if he has ever awakened himself. Howard said he thinks he has. Howard said you have to listen carefully to this. He replayed the clip. He said it's disgusting. He said he's not sure what to do.
Robin said they have a sponsor named Zyppah that he might want to look into. Howard said he's not going to do that. He said he won't go through that. Gary said he has a friend who has one of those things he wears on his face. He said he has sleep apnea and he has to use it. Howard said he doesn't have sleep apnea. Brent said you have to do a study to find out. Jason said he's on a web site that says snoring can get worse as you age. Howard said that's bullshit. He said it's also alcohol that can cause it. Howard said that's nonsense too. Howard said he's not going to wear a nose strip. Sal said ''Roll out the carpet.'' Howard told him to get out of there. He said he yells out shit that no one wants to hear. Gary said they took bets on when Sal would get kicked out of there. Howard said he's out of control.
Howard said they were planning the whole wedding for the show and they were going to do it. Howard said the planning was going along but he had reservations about it not being great radio. He said they had to go all out to make it nuts. Howard said none of his listeners want to hear a real wedding. He said if you're tied into someone on the show maybe but not with someone else.
Howard said it was going to be really whacked out and Maria's wedding was going to be a farce. Howard said then all of a sudden Maria gets a gig co-hosting with Steve Harvey on FOX. Howard said they were interested in having a wedding on New Year's Eve. He said when Kevin heard that he wanted to do it there. Howard said he was like ''Thank god.'' He said Kevin with his blessing married Maria on TV on New Year's Eve. He said Steve Harvey looked like an Eskimo pimp. He said it was so cold that night and these people are standing outside.
Howard said Maria was out in her wedding dress freezing. He said She just got over a brain tumor. He said he's never seen anything like this. Gary said on this show they were going to have her go get in her dress that She hadn't tried on. He said none of it would have been planned. Howard said the NY Post did a story about people wearing adult diapers in Times Square. Howard said people were standing out there in their diapers. He said it has to freeze up. Howard said people are drinking so they have to be peeing every 10 minutes.
Howard said Will Murray used to go to Times Square and he'd pee on people. Will was in the studio and said that's what he did. He said you just whip it out and pee on people. Howard asked if he was looking for a fight. Will said no but it was funny to pee on people. Howard said imagine that.
Howard said he wishes a man who could fight had gotten peed on so he beat the shit out of Will. Jason said Will found people who wouldn't fight back.
Howard said Kevin was planning this wedding and they got married on FOX. Howard said Steve Harvey looked like he just wanted to get off TV. He said he looked so disinterested. He said he's so busy that he just wanted to get out of there. He said he was wearing a fur coat which his so politically correct.
Howard said Kevin did the whole intro for the Gary love tape. He said he turned to Maria and he recites the whole thing to Maria. Howard said this is genius. He said it was on FOX TV. Howard played a clip of Kevin reciting Gary's love tape. Howard said that was great. He said then Steve Harvey whipped it out and peed on him. Howard said Beth woke him up to watch this. Howard said this is Gary's love tape. He played some of what Kevin had just recited in that clip.
Howard asked Gary if anyone called him. Gary said no one called. Howard said the sad part is that no one was watching FOX. Gary said he saw that people had tweeted it the next morning.
Howard said he had a hard time watching Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper. He said the stories were going on and on. He said he's not sure why CNN has to have a comedy show on New Year's Eve. He said he likes Andy and Anderson but it wasn't so good. He said he has to go see what they do on tour together. He said he's not sure wheat they're doing.
Howard said he tuned into Ryan Seacrest and they had a lot of musical acts. Howard said Mariah Carey was saying She was told there would be tea there. Howard said She had no tea. He said it was so great. He said she's the best. He said She should do a comedy show. Robin said She was engaged to a billionaire and She asked for 50 million from him when they broke up. Robin said he gave her 15 million to make her go away. Gary said it was apparently worth it. Howard said Nick Cannon must be so happy to be away from her.
Howard thanked Kevin for doing that Gary thing during the wedding. Howard said no one even reported on it the next day. He said everyone accepted that as his normal speech. Robin said maybe no one listens to the vows. Gary said maybe no one watches Steve Harvey. Howard said he is great on Family Feud. Gary said he switches his show off when he does his monologue. Howard said he's never seen that. He said he's going to call him to be on this show. He said he has to be making a lot of money. Robin said he may have more jobs than Ryan Seacrest at this point. Brent said he gets bit paydays too. Howard said he must know because he reads about all of that stuff.
Howard said there are people who think Gary looks like Steve Harvey. He said he's his Doppelganger. Gary said Howard has always said he looks like he has some black in him. He said he did a test and found out he's 11 percent Safardic. Howard asked how that's possible. Sal added that he's 5 percent shithead. Gary said he told Benjy that and he got him bagels and lox for Christmas.
Howard said Gary finally saw the Bruce Springsteen show on Broadway. Howard said he heard some complaints about the show but he loved it. Robin said not everyone is going to get off on the same things as him. Howard said he can't understand that. Gary said he's going to try to go back again. He said he wants to take his wife. He said he took his best friend Steve with him. He said his wife didn't want to go anyway. He said now She does. Howard said he doesn't have friends like that. Gary said he's seen 25 Springsteen shows with Steve. Howard played a song parody about Gary to the tune of a Springsteen song. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said Hoda is likeable unlike Sal. Sal said fuck you. Howard said don't say that to her. Howard said Hoda is taking over for Matt Lauer since he was fired. Gary said TMZ follows him everywhere. Robin asked if they yell stupid questions. Howard said they ask how he's doing.
Howard said they should get into this year in review. He said he could do the whole show and never get into it. He said he thought this was important because a lot of stuff happened. Howard said they will go over this for the next few days.
Howard said in 2017 they had different guest vocalists sing their opening theme. Howard said he has a super cut of them all. Howard said they had Bobo, Mariann from Brooklyn, Jeff the Vomit Guy, Gary the Conqueror, Lenny Dykstra, Mark the Bagger, Joan Rivers, Ed Torian and more.
Howard said Ronnie has a poem he's put together for this. Ronnie asked what he's talking about. Howard said that's what he has in his notes. Ronnie said he has a bunch of topics that Brent gave him. He said he tells him he needs him to write a poem for the year in review. Ronnie said he needed topics. JD said he just saw the opening line and oh my god. Ronnie said he has poem topics and not a year in review poem. Howard said just give him one poem. Ronnie said he has one about women of winter or the beautiful butthole. JD said he wants to hear the butthole poem. Howard said alright to that.
Howard asked if Ronnie is into that. Ronnie said he's not that into that. He said the poem is pretty good though. He started to read it and JD was cracking up at every word. Ronnie wrote it about fingering a butthole and filling it with your pole. Howard said his poetry is getting better. He said he met a guy who is a professor of poetry and they might have to send it to him to grade it.
Howard asked to hear the art of eating pussy poem. Ronnie said this one might not be so great. He read it and JD started cracking up again. Howard pointed out it didn't rhyme. Ronnie said he has one more. Howard asked him to read that one too. Ronnie read his third poem about the women of winter. Ronnie said this one he struggled with. He said it was the first one he wrote. Ronnie had trouble reading it too. He wrote that one about women covering up during the winter. Gary said he's like a dirty Dr. Seuss. Fred did his impression of Ronnie doing his poetry.
Howard said they're going to move on to Robin who has been at his side for like 36 years. Howard said She has been revealing details about her personal life for years. He said this year She opened up about her desire to be a singer. Howard said She revealed a painful moment when her parents weren't supportive of her singing dreams. He played a clip of Robin talking about her mother telling her to shut up when she'd sing.
Howard said that was very brave of her coming out and talking about that. Howard played some clips of Robin singing some songs in 2017. Howard said there were so many great ones. He said his favorite was Sia's ''Chandelier.'' Howard played that one and laughed. Howard said Ronnie likes that one too. Ronnie said it sounds like she's taking it in her ass in that one. He said it sounds like She has the Dr. Fisch probe up her ass.
Howard said Robin was also into wind chimes in 2017. He played a clip where her fake neighbor called in and complained about the chimes and cut them down.
Howard said in 2017 Robin was an open book about her personal life. Howard said he doesn't think he got a good answer about this from her. She was talking about how She had anal with the guy in San Francisco. He said he's not clear on how She was lubricated down there. Robin said She was so crazy that She wanted to climb up a building. Robin said everything was turned on down there. Howard said he thinks what She was saying is that the juices from her vagina dripped into her asshole. Robin said an asshole is not dry. Howard said his is. Robin said on the inside it has lubrication. She said it has to. Howard said he thinks that She had something from the vagina in there. Gary said that it can't drip up because She was bent over a sink. Howard said he doesn't understand it.
Robin said Ronnie had a theory back then. She said it was something about the guy spitting or using something on himself. Howard said they might have to study her asshole. Ronnie said he'll take care of that.
Howard said he thinks Lenny Dykstra was obsessed with Robin in 2017. He said he had a thanksgiving message for her. He played that for Robin. He was talking about what he'd like to do to Robin. Howard asked if this is the year for him to close the deal. Robin said no way. She said She hopes he forgets.
Howard said that was Robin's year in review. He said he thinks next they'll do Ronnie. He had to take a break first. They went to break after that.
Howard asked if Ronnie has a New Year's party every year. Ronnie said they have a cocktail party that they do before they go to another party. Ronnie said a friend has a party at his restaurant. He said Stephanie sends out an invite and they come over before going to the party. Jason said he was told by JD about this party and how it was the first year he wasn't going. Ronnie said they have JD and Jon Hein and Jim and his wife come. Howard said they meet up at his house and then go out to this party. Howard said he's never invited to this. Ronnie said he knows that's a no-no. Howard asked if any of the couples went with him. Ronnie said not this year. He said every other year they do. JD said the past couple of years he hasn't gone. It costs money to go to the restaurant. Ronnie said they all pay to go out. He said it's a party though. Ronnie said they changed it this year and they had an open bar.
Howard asked if he went with couples that could afford to pay. Ronnie said that's right. He said it was 300 a couple. He said that was open bar. Howard said JD stayed home to save money. JD said they just wanted to stay in. He said it's a bit of a commitment to go out and get a car and all of that.
Howard asked if JD had a birthday party. Gary said it wasn't that big. Gary said he wasn't there. Jason said he was. JD said it was just a numbers thing. Howard said Brent is most unpopular. JD said they just don't hang out that often. Howard asked how old he is now. JD said he turned 38. Howard said he looks older.
Howard asked why Gary was left off the list. JD said he doesn't know. He said his fiancee loves Gary but it's about numbers. He said they only had two lanes at the bowling alley. He said they had to make a cut somewhere. Howard said the couples come and that's it. JD said it's the couples that ''me and her'' hang out with. Howard said he heard Ronnie was pissed because he drove to the wrong bowling alley. Ronnie said he took the subway. He said Stephanie didn't look at the address. He said this one was the same name as the one he had the party at. He said they changed it in the past couple of years. He said they took the subway and got off at the port authority. He said you don't have to walk outside. Ronnie said they walked into the alley and it's a different place. He said Stephanie was asking where they were. He said they found out it was the wrong place. He said they had to walk 3 blocks in that wind and cold. Ronnie said he was ready to go home.
JD said it was bad that night so he would have understood that. Ronnie said they went and it was a fun party but they had already eaten all of the food. Jason said he ordered for everyone and they all chipped in. Ronnie said he could have saved him something. He said it was all fucking gone by the time they got there. Jason said they were an hour late. Ronnie said it was 20 minutes. He said they knew they were coming.
Jason said he heard that they were going to have cake there and he saw this huge cake but it turned out to be for a 6 year old. He said JD was the best bowler that night. Howard asked why Gary wasn't there. JD said Will and Jason and their wives were there. He said it was Jon Hein and Jim too. He said that was it. Sal said he was invited but he didn't go. Brent said he wasn't invited. He said he gets invited to other stuff but not JD's stuff. Jason said that he said that they were the people who he really loves. Howard asked Gary if that bothers him. Gary said he was told he was on the short list for the wedding but he must be on the long list for the birthday. JD said this is why he doesn't do parties.
Howard said JD is the guy who was never invited to anything and now he's the power couple. JD said no one likes to hangout with him. He said they like to goof on him. Jason said he doesn't think that Sal was invited. Sal said he did get the e-vite. Howard said it seems like the same groups go to these parties. Howard said it's always the same group. Ronnie said some of the guys from the back come. Howard said it's this core group.
Howard said they had their Christmas party this year. Howard said it was good. He said they had about 100 people there. He said it was still loud there even without the music. Ronnie said they had a big reserved booth next to Howard's. He said Jon Hein said they were going to sit there. He said they took the sign and threw it on the floor. Howard said he's not sure where that comes from.
Howard said 5 minutes after he left Ronnie started singing Karaoke. Ronnie said they asked him to host the contest. JD said that Benjy started it out of nowhere. He said it was very odd. Ronnie said he knows who asked him. He said he won't say who it was. Howard said that's odd.
Howard said they have to tackle Ronnie's year in review. He said Ronnie revealed that he had caught his parents in a threesome. Howard played a clip of Ronnie being hypnotized by Scott Schmaren so he was thinking he was a woman named Jamie.
Howard said when Ronnie was under hypnosis they had him sit on a speaker to try to orgasm. Howard said he had to pretend he was Jason Statham. Howard played a clip from that segment.
Howard said Ronnie also revealed he would like to be a girl for a day if he could. Howard played a clip and had Ronnie explaining why he said that.
Howard said Ronnie would still like to be a woman for a day. Ronnie said he would if he had a magic lamp.
Howard said Ronnie got a job in an Adam Sandler movie. Howard said he got one line and he fucked that up. Howard played a clip of Shuli talking about that with Howard and Ronnie.
Howard said that Fred did impressions of Ronnie in 2017. Howard had a bunch of clips of Fred doing that impression through the year of 2017. Fred did more of the impression live as well.
Howard asked Fred if that's a hard impression to do. Fred said not at all. He said he just channels him and it comes out. Howard said Fred is working on how to say the word cunt like Ronnie. Fred did more of his Ronnie impression.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loved the Christmas party with High Pitch Erik squeezing Donnie Wahlberg's ass. Howard said that was great. He said they got a lot of great feedback about that segment. Howard said he got to look into Donnie's eyes and squeeze his ass. Howard asked how he's doing. He said he guarantees that he'll be fatter than ever. Sal said he knows someone who is heavier than ever after having that surgery. Gary said he's going to say he'll be heavier by Thanksgiving of this year.
The caller said that he loves his impression of Pat Robertson. Howard said when he was on vacation he was thinking of the televangelists. He said that's his biggest bugaboo.
Shuli came in and said that High Pitch Erik was back in the hospital for a night. He said he was dizzy and light headed. He said he is down to 335 pounds now though. Howard said he was up near 400. Shuli said he was at 396 pounds before the surgery. He said he's doing great. Shuli said he has to get his appendix taken out and he has to have skin surgery to remove extra skin. Robin said the eating will go up eventually.
Gary said he gets why they have to do the surgery. He said he's not sure why he has to pay to get the skin removed. He said that the tax payers are paying for that. Gary asked if he will be more productive in society if he's thinner. No one thought he would. Shuli said he just wants to be able to fun and have fun. He said work isn't on that list of things Erik wants to do.
Howard said he thinks that his wish for 2018 is that all of these televangelists go bankrupt. He said he hopes these assholes wise up and stop sending money to these people. Robin said these people are religious and they won't wise up. Howard did his Pat Robertson impression talking about how Jesus doesn't like homosexuals. Brent said that these guys tell their followers that if you send them money you'll get money at your door. Howard said that's such bullshit. Howard did more of his impression of Robertson.
Howard said it's such an easy thing to do. He said he's going to start preaching the exact opposite thing. He talked about how Jesus came to him and said that Pat Robertson is lying and gay people are down trodden and there are so many of them because people are over populating and there's global warming. Howard said that God created man on man love and he wants people to honor them because they're not over populating the earth.
Howard said imagine that he did something like that. He talked like Pat the whole time he was doing that. He said the Jesus he talked to was in a mesh tank top and his balls were hanging out of his pants. Howard said please send him money.
Howard said he has to take another break. He said Gary is going to do the best drops of 2017 after a break. They went to break after that.
Howard asked where he's at in the year in review. Gary said they were going to do the drops from 2017. Howard said maybe he should take some calls.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks and said that Janks dropped that character he used to do when he first started calling in. Janks did the weird voice he used to do. Janks said his name is taken from a real guy. Howard said Janks came to of the closet just a few years ago. He said he's in his 50s now. Howard said it's hard for gays in their 50s. He said a lot of them stayed in the closet for way too long and were ashamed. Janks said that he didn't want to lie to anyone anymore. He said it was a religious experience for him. He said he gets younger guys now. Howard said he's into Memet too. Janks said he thinks he'll come around.
Janks said that Howard's Millie Bobby Brown's agent and Bobo's walk of shame were the best moments in 2017.
Howard said Janks is in love with Memet and he wants to fuck him in the ass. He said Memet isn't up for it so Janks met a guy who looked like Memet and fucked him in the ass. Janks said that he lets him call him Memet. Janks said Memet might have some bi in him and it may come out later. He said he thinks he's had a finger in his ass. Robin asked if he has good gaydar. Howard said he thinks he's had enough of this. Howard said Janks thinks his gayness is way more interesting than it is. He said it's interesting to him. Gary said it would have been interesting in 1985. Howard said Janks even wrote ''Gangster of Love'' on the gay guy's back because Memet has a tattoo of that on him. He said Janks is also on dating apps and he has strangers coming to his house. He has to hide his valuables in his cat litter. He said it's insane. Howard said he heard that from Brent. Brent said he sits back there with Shuli who finds out all of this stuff.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he was off the show. Jeff said he just wanted to straighten it out. Howard said this is going to end badly. Jeff said he isn't going to say fuck you. Howard said he's on a speaker phone. Jeff picked up. He asked if that's better. Howard asked why he can't just call in like that. Jeff said he's hung up on all the time. Howard said just pick up when he picks up. Jeff said he did. Howard said he didn't. Howard said it's 2018 and he still can't do it right. Jason said it sounds like he's outside and inside at the same time.
Howard asked Jeff if he quit the show. Jeff said he wanted to apologize for Howard embarrassing him. Howard said how about a real apology. Jeff asked why he should. Howard said he just told him the truth. Jeff said he could have said something. Howard said he did. He said he's jerking off with guys and showing his dick to guys. He said he thought he'd want to know. Jeff said he could have called him. Howard said apology accepted. Howard said everything is fine.
Howard took a call from Shuli who was doing his Jeff impression and telling him to go fuck himself. Jeff said fake Jeff is a douche bag.
Howard said one of the things that's not true is that there are horny women online who want to see your dick. Howard said he they don't want to go into a private chat and listen to you jerk off. Howard said they don't care. Gary asked if Jeff thought the woman was way out of his league. Jeff said yeah. He said she's a girl. Howard said he's claiming that the picture is a real girl. Jeff said he sent video to Shuli of the girl. Howard asked Shuli how he gets through to this guy. Jeff said he's going to tweet it out now. Shuli said there is no getting through to him. Shuli said one girl he can confirm. Jeff said this girl was scoping him and She was rubbing her cunt. JD said ''how romantic.''
Howard said good luck to Jeff in 2018. Howard asked him if in real life has any woman ever asked to see him jerk off. Jeff said no. Robin asked why he thinks all of those women on the internet want to do it. Jeff said she's a horny fucking bitch. Howard said he wants to clear the slate and let Jeff do his thing. He said he won't butt in anymore. Jeff said fuck you to Shuli too.
Robin asked Jeff if they find out that some more guys have gotten him to jerk off does he want to know. Jeff yelled ''Nooo!'' Howard said if Shuli finds that out then don't tell him. Shuli said he was getting info during the vacation. Howard asked what he heard. Shuli said he heard from 3 dudes who say Jeff is DM'ing them in private messages. Jeff said ''whatever.''
Howard had The Lump on the phone to apologize too. The Lump said he wanted to apologize for Jeff for being a huge pile of shit. He said he's sorry he jerks it to guys too. <>Howard took a call from a guy who said his brother is pranking Jeff all the time with his friends. Howard said Jeff hung up.
Robin said there are a bunch of guys watching him. Howard said he has a Tonya on the phone who wants to apologize to Jeff. It was a guy saying that he's that other caller's brother. He did his girl voice for him too.
Howard said Ronnie was teamed up with a DJ guy there and he was doing all of the heavy lifting. Gary said he just stands in the back and yells stuff out. Howard said that was JD's favorite clip.
Howard asked Gary what's next. Gary said Brent has one. Brent said this is the one where Ronnie yells out ''Sixty nine!'' He said he likes that because it's the guy who is the biggest creep on a softball team with the number 69 on his shirt. Howard played the drop and the clip where the ''Sixty nine!'' clip came from. Ronnie said he was wasted at that point. Howard said that is a great clip.
Howard asked if all of the greatest drops of 2017 are from Ronnie. Gary said most of them are. Jason had another favorite drop. He said that this is one of Scott the engineer vaping. He said he pictures this sound inside Scott's head all the time. Howard said that was an actual clip of Scott vaping. Ronnie said he went through that with him on the trip to Florida.
Howard asked Gary what they have up next. Gary said he has one. He said this was the year of Benjy. He said he got thrown out of the studio and got really upset about it. He had one of Benjy yelling ''Fuck you'' to Howard. Howard said he's his boss but he gets it because they're on the air. He said he really unloaded on him. Howard played a clip of Benjy going off on him about being out in the office instead of the studio.
Howard asked what else they have. Sal said he has Ronnie saying ''Ass Chreaks (treaks)'' in a sex tip. Howard played that and the whole clip of him saying that. Sal said he liked it when Ronnie said ''That's amores.'' Robin said Howard texts that to her. Howard said he's not sure why he got that wrong. Sal said no one wrote that down for him. He said they just let him run with it. He said he eventually comes across these gems. Sal said the guy goes to Italian restaurants every weekend so you'd think he'd know better. Howard played the sex tip where he used that line.
Howard asked Sal if he heard that in the recording. Sal said he did but they didn't catch the ''treaks'' thing until post.
Howard asked if that's it for sound drop of the year. Gary said they have a compilation of Robin clips to play. Gary said Robin says a lot of wacky shit and Sal and Richard catch it all and bank it. Howard said these are Robin's weird drops. Howard played the clip and they had Robin making weird noises and saying odd things throughout the year.
Howard said that was some year in review. He said that was awesome.
Howard asked Fred what he did. Fred said he spent the night with the Weinbergs and the Browns. He said they know them through their kids. Fred said that they have remained friends after meeting a while back. He said they went to the Weinberg home. Fred said it was six adults and a bunch of kids. Howard said you never think Fred is doing anything normal like that. Howard said he would have thought Fred stayed home. He asked how Fred's kids go to school in Jersey. Fred said they lived in Manhattan and moved to Jersey. Gary said Fred is more social than Howard is now.
Howard said he and Fred talked at their Christmas party. Howard said he can't imagine dads talking to Fred. Howard said he tries to avoid him most of the time. Fred said he knows he does. Howard wondered if the dads think Fred is normal. Howard said he thinks Fred is on the spectrum. He said don't get him wrong but he believes Fred has some strange disorder where he doesn't read the room correctly. He said he thinks he'd go on too long or something. Fred said that doesn't seem to happen.
Robin said Fred has to have the last word in every conversation. Fred said ''excuse me miss last word!?'' Robin said that Fred has to have that last word. Robin said he won't end a conversation because he has to have the last word.
Ronnie said he talks to Fred all the time. He said they talk about cars. Howard said that's because he's out of his mind.
Howard took a call from fake Mark Weinberg who said they stared at each other for 2 hours on New Year's eve. Jason asked if this is the mark Weinberg who used to write speeches for Ronald Reagan. Fred said that is him.
Howard got back to the caller who said he called a couple of weeks ago and he went on a first date and it went well. He wanted to get some dating advice since he hasn't done it in 4 years. Howard said he remembers him being a virgin. He asked how old he is. the guy said he's 24. Howard said that he's no one to advise women but when they say they can't find a man this guy William is out there. He said he respects women and he wants a woman in his life. He said William is tubby and awkward though. Gary said he was wearing a Star Trek t-shirt in a photo he sent. Howard said he should get rid of that. William said he doest' really wear them out. He wears them around the house. Howard asked if JD getting married gives him hope. William said it does.
Howard said JD knows better than to wear a Star Wars shirt. JD said he's not that into that stuff. Howard asked JD how old he was when he got laid. JD said he was 25. Howard asked how great that was. JD said She was a fan who ''had came out'' for the last show at K-Rock. Howard asked how you talk like that and where he hears people speak like that. JD said it was great being with that woman. He said it's great every time. Sal said thank god for the woman who did it. JD told Sal to shut up. Howard asked if the girl was into it. JD said She was. He said he met her online.
The caller said he was told that he made his first girlfriend squirt. Howard asked why he never banged her. William said that She wanted to wait until marriage. He said She was kind of crazy.
Howard asked if She ever blew him. William said She did but he doesn't want to talk about that stuff. Gary asked if She was able to get him off. William said yes. He said She was but there's a whole story behind it and he doesn't want to get into it. He said She wasn't that good looking either. Howard asked if he knew She was way below what he should be having. William said he realized that She wasn't someone he thought he was interested in. He said She was into him and he thought he had to be into her.
Howard said when he got laid he was with girls who weren't that into him. He said they didn't want to date him. He said he'd put up with any shit. Howard said he knows where he's coming from. Robin asked they weren't girlfriend material. Howard said some were. He said there were women that he wouldn't have sex with. He said he turned down a few.
Howard asked William if he's ever turned anyone down. William said not really. He said he had two hookups in college that were just making out. He said he didn't have sex. William said just talking to women and having conversations is hard. Howard said he seems pretty good on the phone.
William said he said he was socially awkward but other people say he's not. He said he has friends who say he's not.
Howard said he's going to act it out with William. He said he's not that hot and he could lose 25 pounds. He said there's no reason to be intimidated by him. He said he's going to have some conversation with him. Howard tried it with him starting out. William did okay that way so Howard tried it where William had to speak to him first. Howard played that out with William too and he had him cracking up over some jokes he was making about being a conjoined twin.
Howard said this is a disaster. Howard said he likes this guy William thoguh. He asked what happened on his date. William said it was really quick. He said he picked her up and they went to a restaurant about 2 minutes from her apartment. He said they talked a bit and it was nice. He said he never knows what to talk about. He said he's not sure what topics to bring up.
Howard said he has some tips for him. He said always ask the woman about herself. Howard said don't talk about yourself unless asked a question. Howard said he'd ask how her work was today or about how She found her apartment. He said he'd ask about her life growing up and things like that. Howard asked William if She goes to the same school. William said She does. He said she's a senior and she's an undergraduate and he has to be careful with that. He said he's a graduate and he has to be careful.
Howard said he thinks Beth was into him because he was interested in her. He said sometimes people won't even ask her questions. JD said sometimes if you are into a debate about something like Star Trek or Star Wars is good. The guys all said that's not a good idea. That's like starting a fight on the first date. Brent said you should only be talking about 30 percent of the conversation.
Ronnie asked JD what he said to the girls he was banging when they were out on the road. JD said many of them were fans of the show. Howard said they were talking about how he wasn't able to meet girls. Ronnie said the girls he was getting were hot. He said ''Holy shit!'' He said they were like 9s and 10s. JD said he doesn't know what to say. Howard said he even fucked a porn star. Jason said if they were still on tour he wouldn't be engaged now. JD said those were the pluses of being out there. He said it was all fine.
Howard asked if JD ever had a threesome. JD said no but the guys thought he did. JD said he had a two girl hand job but it don't even finish. He said they wanted to hear him on the phone. Howard said he was a stud for a few minutes. Ronnie said that was for a year.
Howard asked if he kept those women as friends. JD said he did have good relationships with some of them. Howard asked if he wore condoms. JD said he did. He said he's done talking about it. Howard said it would be great if they fond out he has a 9 year old son in Arizona or something. Howard said that would be so great. He had a woman putting her kid on the phone with JD and the kid sounded just like JD. Howard said the show has been great for JD. JD said it's given him almost everything he has.
Ronnie said there was one girl who was keeping the girls away from JD. He said She was ready to kick ass. Howard said they turned JD into Brad Pitt. JD said he wouldn't go that far.
Howard asked JD what his advice was for William. JD said just debate something they're both into. William said that She actually did say that She wanted to see Star Wars with him. He said they were talking about seeing movies in the theater and She had never seen Star Wars. He said She wants to see the original ones. Howard asked if he got romantic at all. William said he didn't kiss her or anything but he was offering her sushi and stuff. Howard said it sounds like he hit a home run. William said she's at home right now while school is on break.
Howard asked how the date ended. William said they hugged and he dropped her off. Howard said he bets She banged some hot guy after the date. Howard asked if he leaned in for a kiss or anything. William said no because he's so nervous. He said he doesn't want to overstep his bounds. Howard said he gets that but he doesn't want him in the friend zone. Howard said he must know not to grab a tit or anything. William said he knows.
Ronnie asked if he knew she'd like this place. Ronnie said a lot of times the girl wants to pick it. Howard said no. He said this kid has no money.
Howard asked if William beat off after the date. William said he did it in the morning actually. He said he didn't do it that night. Howard asked how long the date lasted. William said it was 30-45 minutes. Howard said that's not long. Robin said it's like speed dating. William said the thing is that it was short because She said She had to drive back to where She lives. He said She had to be home by a certain time. He said they've been texting back and forth.
The guys asked when the date was. William said it was on December 17th. He said She will text him and he's not texting her back immediately. He said he waits a while so he doesn't come across as desperate. Howard said he really likes this guy. Gary said he was in his boat. Howard said they all were.
Howard said Fred didn't get girls for a long time. He said he sees him over there. Fred said no one is ever going to let him live his life down.
Howard asked William why he's calling him. William said he was wondering what topics to bring up. Howard said just ask her about herself. Howard said ask her about how She gets along with her parents and if She has siblings. Howard said he has to find out about her life. Robin said even over the holidays he could have been asking her about her life. Howard said just ask her about her life. Howard said even with Robin it's like that. Howard said Robin keeps yapping about herself when he asks about her. Howard said he constantly asks his wife about the cats and stuff. He said he's attentive and it works. Howard said you have to know what you're doing. He asked what William is going to text her today. William said he's going to ask about her New Year's eve and things like that.
Howard told him to ask about brothers or sisters. Robin said find out about Christmas too. Howard said don't ask her to ''please love me'' or anything like that. Howard said don't ask if she's ever blown a Trekkie.
Sal asked if he's friends with her on Facebook. Sal said that's a great way to find out about someone. Howard told Sal to shut up. Sal said if you want to find out about her life then do that. Howard said he has to shut up.
Jason asked if she's on any social media. William said he met her on Tinder. He said that he wanted to ask Memet about that. Howard said don't do that. He said he almost went to meet a dude he thought was a woman.
Howard asked if this girl is overweight. William said She might be a little bit bigger. He said he likes that though. Howard said Memet is saying this guy already blew it with this girl. Howard asked why that is. Memet came in and said taking a girl to dinner on a first date is too much neediness. He said that it shows you're trying to get laid. William said it as $15. Memet said he never buys dinner. He said you take her out for one drink. He said you keep it short and sweet. Howard said this isn't a good looking dude. Memet said it doesn't matter. He said he's already blown it with this girl because he didn't make the move on the first date. Memet said you have to try or you're in the friend zone forever. He said that he's made the move and you may get rejected but you have to do it. He said he has lost girls to ugly guys. He said you have to make the move. He said if you're afraid to do it you just try to say at the end of the date ''Do you mind if I kiss you?'' William said he is so creeped out by saying that. Memet said you have to. He said you're done if you don't do it. He told him to just move on to the next girl. Gary said don't listen to this guy. He said William doesn't get a lot of chances. Memet said this girl is going to make him feel like shit.
Howard said Benjy is out there saying that they're both wrong. He said Benjy does a lot of this dating. Memet said don't text her so much. He said it puts you in the friend zone. Howard said just wait until She gets back from break and take her out again. If She doesn't go then give up. Memet said you want to be mysterious do don't text her.
Benjy came in and said that She wants to hang with him for a movie so it's not over. Benjy asked what this guy's name is. Howard thought he was asking what his name was so he said Howard. Benjy said that this guy has confidence in math so he should talk about that. He said he comes alive when he talks about that. Howard said the only thing about Benjy is that he's fat like William is. Benjy said he's passionate about math so he should use that. He said he should talk about his passion for math. Howard said he's going with Memet's thoughts on this. He said that he doesn't have to talk about math. Howard said he has to talk to the girl about herself.
Howard said he has to say that there is some advice that Benjy has. He said if you believe him he has joined some of these dating services and he does get laid.
Benjy told William to read Richard Fineman's bio and he'll get it. Howard said he has to get out of this. Howard wanted to get rid of Benjy and not Memet but Memet was trying to leave. Howard said he's done with Benjy. Howard said he isn't getting information out of him. Benjy said he should go to that confidence of math. He asked William more questions but Howard said he's bored by him and kicked him out.
Memet said William has to talk to the girl about herself. He said the questions about her should outnumber the questions She asks him. Howard said that's right.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Memet can't judge this guy. Memet said he's not. He said he sees some of him in William. Howard said Memet changed the way he did things to make it work for him. Memet said that just listen to Howard's interviews with actresses and ask the women questions like Howard does. The caller said just be yourself. Howard said it's not working. Robin said he has to be someone else.
Howard said he has to go. William said he needs some money for college books. Howard said come on William. Jason said he's on his Twitter and he says he's into EDM and he's a DJ. Ronnie said he thinks he's bullshit and he's just asking for money. Howard said he didn't have any for him so he let him go and did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and did a live commercial read and then said it's time for news but he has to kick on 2018 with a phony phone call. Howard said they are known for their phony phone calls there. He said they have a whole department there for them. Howard said they found a Jedi realist show to call into. Howard said it's a show about guys who are Jedis. He said these aren't shows on regular radio, they're on the internet. Howard said they believe in the Jedi lifestyle. He said they talk to each other about being Jedis. Howard said they seem really excited when they get a call. Howard said he thought this was kind of fun. Howard played the call and the host was talking about fighting with light sabers for real. Howard said there is nothing real about light sabers. Howard said that's unbelievable. He started the call over again. In the clip the guys called in and said he's been terribly constipated and wondered what they do as Jedi. They had some advice for the guy. about not eating cheese. The caller was on the toilet and shitting while talking to the hosts of the show. They eventually hung up on the guy.
Howard said they had to hang up on that guy. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin started her news talking about the bitter cold weather they're having in New York City. Robin asked if Howard has been walking around at all. Howard said not at all. He said he's sequestered. Robin said She was out with some friends one night and they went to some bars in the Mandarin Oriental. Robin said they showed the temperature and it was 17 degrees. Robin asked herself what she's doing there. Howard said he's ready to live in Florida full time. He said he's living there under protest. Howard said the skin on his hands was so chapped. He said he went to Florida for a week and within a day he's no longer chapped. Robin said it's like you walk outside and get hydrated. Howard said he'd prefer a hurricane to this cold. He said he never liked the cold. Howard said his mother used to give him a hard time about Florida. Howard said she'd talk about this being the big apple and he doesn't care about that. Howard said She doesn't either. Howard said he's there because he has to work there.
Howard said he could remote into the show but he thinks he has to be there live. He said that's the way he sees radio. He said it would be weird doing it from Florida. He said that's not in the future for him in the next 3 years. He said he'll be there in New York. He said he got home and it was 15 out. He said he left and it was 50. Howard asked who can live like that. He said he saw these assholes out in Times Square on New Year's eve and it's remarkable how dumb it is to stand out there. Robin said they start lining up in the afternoon. Howard said they stand there diapered up and it's 2 million dummies. He said there is no reason to stand out there. He said it's stupid. Robin said She was on a plane and people were coughing so they're all sick. Howard said it's crazy.
Howard said they say that he'd save a bundle on taxes if he moved to Florida. Howard said he's paying through the nose in New York. Howard said he'd get more of his pay if he lived in Florida. He said it's bullshit.
Howard said it's remarkable that people stand out there on New Year's Eve. He said you get to see Maria Menounos get married. He said imagine you pee in a diaper and your dick gets stuck to your pants. Robin said She had a friend who walked a few blocks and he was a different color when he got to the restaurant.
Robin got back to her news and talked about the celebrities who died last year. Howard said he was shocked to see Rose Marie died. Robin said She just died at 94 years old. Robin said they lost Mary Tyler Moore too. Howard said he gets sad about that. Howard said he watched the colorized special they showed recently. Robin said what's amazing is that Rose Marie was a working woman in the 50s. Robin had some audio for Howard to play of Rose talking about that. Howard said She always wore a black bow in her hair and She talked about that. Howard had a clip of her talking about the bow. Howard said it was a tribute to her husband who died. Howard had some audio of Rose singing at the age of 6. Robin said She thought that was Mariann from Brooklyn. Howard took a call from Mariann while he was talking about her. Mariann wished him a happy Howard New Year and started to go off on them about something but Howard hung up on her. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read more of the people who died last year. Robin read about Jerry Lewis and Tom Petty. Howard said Tom was going to do the show but they had to do it in the afternoon or something. Howard said he wasn't really that into Tom but he read a story that Bob Lefsetz wrote that was interesting. He said that he kept ticket prices down and things like that. Howard said Taylor Swift is making her's so high that it's chasing fans away.
Robin read about David Cassidy passing away too. Robin said Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, Hugh Hefner, Malcolm Young, George Young, Ralphie May, Della Reese, Fats Domino, Adam West, Glenn Campbell and more passing away. Howard said Jonah Hill's brother died too. He said he was 40 and he was the manager of Maroon 5. Howard said they handled a few big acts. Howard said he helped Adam get his gig on The Voice too. Howard said the guy was 40 and he's gone. Howard said Jonah's sister was in Ladybird too. Howard said he was bummed to hear about Jonah's brother dying.
Robin read about the bombings and shootings that took place last year. Robin said this was all last year. Howard said it was a shitty year. Howard said he saw a kid shot up his family on New Year's eve. Robin said they were home schooling him because he was being picked on in class. Robin said they say he might have been autistic. Robin said he shot up the family. Howard said that's fucked up. Robin said the brother says he's going to live his life like their parents did. Howard said a brother and the grandfather got out of the house somehow.
Robin read some other things that happened in 2017 like the wrong movie being announced at the Oscars. Howard said this is why the country is going downhill. He said people don't take their jobs seriously.
Robin read about Prince Harry and Megan Markle getting engaged in 2017. Robin said that Fidget Spinners were big too.
Robin read about how Star Wars was the biggest movie of 2017. Robin said it made $225 million the opening weekend. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the second highest grossing movie of 2017. Howard guessed Beauty and the Beast. Robin said it was Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Howard said he didn't see that yet. Robin said She did but it wasn't as good as the first. Howard said he liked the first one. He said he didn't think he'd like it but he did even with the talking raccoon. Robin said She didn't either but She liked it too. Robin read about some other movies that made big money in 2017 like Beauty and the Beast, Fate of the Furious, Cars 3 and others. Howard said he really doesn't care about cars. He said they're just transportation to him. Howard spent a minute taking about how Vin Diesel doesn't prepare for those roles in the Fast and Furious movies at all. Howard said he likes the guy but the last Fast and Furious movie made $1.235 billion worldwide.
Robin asked how long a phone conversation should be. Howard said no more than 5 minutes. Robin said She was in a car for 45 minutes and She wasn't on the phone. Robin said this guy was on the phone talking in another language and speaking hands free. Robin said he was going on and on with this woman. Howard said he and Robin were on the phone for an hour and a half the other day. Robin said that was all Howard.
Robin said the pope is saying that people have to stop all of the chatter. Howard said he likes his message but he needs porn. He said he can't give that up. He said he guarantees the pope is beating off.
Robin asked about showing art and if you should take the nudes out when showing it to people of all ages. Howard said no. He said we all have bodies. He said we're all animals. Howard said we're part of the animal kingdom. He said that's why our asses smell. He said we're no different than an elephant or ape. Howard said you don't put clothes on a lion. He said it's art. Howard said he went to the Morgan Museum and looked at the Thaw collection. He said it was great. Howard said you don't get rid of the nudes. Robin said a man says he was terminated for showing nude art. Howard said people who cover paintings are ISIS. Howard said they're assholes. Robin said the Taliban burn the paintings. Howard said that's who covers paintings. He said give this guy his job back. Robin read more details about this guy who was fired for showing famous artwork. Howard did his ISIS hotline operator voice talking about that stuff. Howard said this is the religious right causing this kind of thing. Robin said that it's just religious people in general. Howard said that's right. He said enough of that. Robin said they think if you look at a naked body you go to hell. The ISIS hotline operator said ''You do!''
Robin read about the MeToo movement that started in 2017. Robin said that Harvey Weinstein was accused of misconduct last year and many people have made claims against him. Robin said that a number of other names have been accused as well. Robin ran down a list of men who were accused of sexual harassment. Robin said about 300 women in Hollywood are going to fight sexual harassment with a group called Time's Up. Robin read some details about that.
Robin read a story about something going on with Meryl Streep over the weekend. Howard said he saw that Rose McGowan was saying something about her. Robin said She was accusing Meryl of knowing what was going on and She didn't say anything. Robin said Meryl said She didn't know but Rose is saying that's not true.
Robin read about Gretchen Carlson and said She was a Miss America. Howard said he doesn't know that much about her. Robin said now they're saying that Gretchen is going to be the new chair head of the pageant. Howard said there goes the swimsuit part of that pageant.
Robin said that the Powerball and Megamillions are mega. Robin said there's a $340 million Megamillions and a Powerball jackpot that's $440 million.
Robin read about how President Trump is back in Washington after a working vacation. Howard said he was on vacation. Robin said they call it a working vacation. Howard said they say that because he's been golfing a lot.
Robin read about how Iran had a new election and over 20 people are dead in clashes over that. Howard said they're pissed because there are no jobs over there. Robin read about what's been going on over there and how Trump is tweeting about it. Robin said he's saying that people are rising up against the brutal regime over there and he's proud of them.
Robin read a story about Hoda Kotb doing more time on the Today show. Howard said he's not sure how that name is Kotbee when it's spelled Kotb. Howard said she's good thoguh. He said She makes you feel good watching that show. Robin said She has met Hoda and She was the host of a show where She won an award. She said She was very grateful and sweet. Howard said he has had people get mad at him for taking over their job but it's not that simple. He said he was hired to work in their spot and he didn't steal their job. Howard wondered if Hoda organized this whole thing to take over. Robin said Savannah Guthrie is thrilled that Hoda is the new co-host. Robin said She doesn't have to be afraid of losing her job now. Robin said they haven't announced a replacement for Charlie Rose yet. Howard said you can't replace Charlie Rose. Howard said imagine that guy was walking around naked in front of women. Howard said that can't look good. He said that's not what women want to see. Robin and Howard spent a few minutes talking about Charlie and his creepy behavior. Howard said he wouldn't wear an open robe in front of his own wife. He said he knows women don't want to see that. He said guys are retarded. He said he knows enough to be ashamed of what he has.
Robin read a story about how transgender people are allowed to join the military. Howard said he's all for that but Trump must be pissed.
Robin said that marijuana is legal in California now as long as you're 21 years old. Howard said he wouldn't do it even if it was legal. Robin said you don't have to be stuck with whatever the guy has. Robin said you can find something mild. Howard said he loved the days when the stuff was shitty. He said it's really strong now. Robin said that's the beauty of making a business out of it. They can have all kinds of weed and they can have the milder stuff.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Howard started the show talking about how he's getting sick with a cold. He said it depresses him being human. Robin said She hears him. She said his body will disappoint him. Howard said it's from playing chess in the park about a month ago. Robin laughed. Howard said he thinks it's really a thing. He said he's been fighting it since that day. Robin said there is no way. Howard said he knows his body. He said Robin doesn't know his body. Robin said She could pick it out of a lineup.
Howard said it's year in review day two today. He said he has a lot to get to today. He said a guy who died last year he didn't mention yesterday was this guy who was on a big news station there in the city. Howard said when he was a kid and he'd go to the city with his father they'd have the radio on and they'd listen to WCBS AM with Lou Adler. Howard said Lou died. He said he was 88 years old. He said they're making a big deal out of it because it was 88 on the dial position. Gary asked if he thinks he died on purpose. Howard said yes. He said that he should die at 92.3 since they were on K-Rock which was 92.3. Robin said She heard 92.3 which is back to alternative radio again. Howard said the problem with regular radio is that no one wants to sit through commercials. He said it's torture. Howard said now they have podcasts, the internet and satellite. He said it's all of that and no one can tolerate the commercials.
Howard said people are still listening but they're just tolerating it. Brent said there are still 93 million people listening but that's across the country. Howard asked if those stations are selling for just a couple million bucks. Brent said he's not sure. Howard said they must be all devalued. Brent said that's true. He said they used to make a ton of money. Howard said he'd rather buy bitcoin than a radio station. Brent said that some of the talk radio stations do well. Howard said he isn't listening to get the weather on radio. Brent said everyone has it on their phone.
Gary said the DJs talk a lot more on terrestrial. Howard said he's glad they have announcers there but they just talk for a second or two. Jason said it's great to have all of the information there on the screen. Howard asked what he listens to. Jason said he listens to Jam On. Howard said he won't listen to that. Brent said he loves Ozzy's Boneyard. Howard said he puts no effort into that station at all. He said all he says is ''Ozzy's Boneyard.'' Robin said that's a 5 year old channel and that's all he's done.
Howard asked Ronnie if he listens to 40s on 4. Ronnie said he listens to the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, the Blend and more. Shuli mentioned the Victrola channel and Ronnie didn't get it.
Howard said he remembers Lou Adler coming on the news channel and he had a booming voice. Howard said his dad would be listening to it. He said he was so good. He said he would sit there wondering how he'd get on radio. He wondered how you learn to talk like that. Howard said everyone on radio had a deep voice. He said their voices were all booming. Brent said they didn't care what you had to say. It all depended on the voice.
Howard did an impression of the old radio guys with the echo on their voices. Howard said it was all about that deep booming voice. Howard said it didn't matter what they were talking about. He said they'd do school closings and all of that. Howard said Lou had one of those voices. He said he remembers thinking there was no way he'd get on radio himself.
Howard did more of his impression of that news radio guy. He said it was good when FM radio came around. He said he'd heard Dennis Elsis on the radio and think he could be on it. He did his impression of that guy too. Howard said it didn't matter what those AM guys said as long as their voices were deep.
Howard read about what Lou Adler did on WCBS. Howard had the obituary there and it said he died in a nursing home. Howard said that's sad. He had Alzheimer's disease too. Howard said that's sad. He said he probably didn't remember what he did. Howard said his voice was probably gone too.
Howard said his dad says he lost the timbre in his voice. He said it's sad. Fred played a clip of his dad talking about the ''green type of tube'' thing. Howard said his dad is a trip. He said what he said there didn't make sense. He said they were recording it for the family and they all did something. He said his dad would bring home the tape. He said his dad didn't do anything. He said they all sang and he'd just do the ''proper modulation'' thing. Howard had Fred play more of that clip. Howard said what he said here didn't make sense at all. He said he doesn't see one fucking green tube in this studio. Robin said nothing is opening and closing either.
Howard said his dad would shush him when he'd listen to Lou Adler. Howard did more of his Lou Adler impression with his dad shushing him. Robin said his dad was trying to be an announcer. Howard said he has to tell his dad that Lou died and he may not remember who he was. Howard said he was 88 years old. Howard said his dad has improper modulation now.
Howard said the thought of Lou being in a nursing home with Alzheimer's is sad. He had him shitting in a Kleenex box. Howard said he probably didn't imagine he'd be laying in a nursing home bed at some point in his life. Howard said this guy had some career. He read more of the obituary and found out he started in 1959 in New York. He said he was on CBS AM.
Howard said he hopes he didn't smell like piss at the end. Gary said that's just the way it is at a nursing home. He said it's just what you get there. Howard said he hopes Beth will be having someone turn him over in the nursing home. Robin said maybe she'll be flying him around the world like Casey Kasem's wife did.
Howard read more about the age of 88 and how someone said it was poetic that the station was at 88 AM. Howard said that's just dumb. He said it's like if he died at 100 for Howard 100.
Howard read more quotes from the people who knew Adler. They had some people talking about what a stickler he was for saying things a certain way. Howard said he eventually worked for WOR AM. He also worked in Atlanta. Howard said most guys fall out of favor and end up in Atlanta. Jason asked if that's the last stop before the nursing home. Howard said he thinks so.
Howard said Adler used to do the NY Times crossword puzzle. Howard said he's not sure anyone there could do that. Howard said he's not sure how much more of this they want to hear.
Howard said his dad doesn't talk anymore. He said he just sits there and listens to him talk to his mom. Howard said they used to listen to Lou and he was kind of nostalgic in a way. Howard said he wasn't allowed to talk in the car when he was in the car with his dad. He said he never did bond with him.
Howard said his dad did some nice things for him. He said he can't bitch about that. He said he did put him through college. Howard said he never had a conversation. He said he never, ever had a conversation where he asked how his day was. Howard said his mom had to go into the school to get kids to stop beating him up. He said he had nothing. He said he never said anything. Robin said he had to say something. Howard said he said nothing. He said when he went to college he never said goodbye to him. He said he remembers packing up the van with his friend Lou. He said he moved up there and that was it. He said his parents didn't help him move.
Howard said his mother did tell him to talk to him about sex. He said his dad asked if there was anything he wanted to know. He said he already knows everything so he just said ''okay.'' He said his mom stood in the bathroom listening. He said his dad didn't tell him anything.
Howard said his parents would visit him at college once a year and yell at him for not knowing good restaurants. Howard said he'd bring them to Aegean Faire and they'd complain about it. He said his dad would say there were flies in there. He said he'd hear his mother's cackle and he'd wonder how they imagine he'd know a good restaurant. He said he didn't have any kind of life. He had no money. He said he was a poor student. He said he didn't waste his father's money. He said they'd laugh at him. Howard did an impression of his mother's laugh that sounded like a goat. Howard said if he mentioned Boston University to his mother she'd go right into talking about that place. He said his mother would complain about the food there.
Howard said his parents left it up to him to find a place. He asked how the fuck he'd know where a good place was to go. He said he was so afraid to flunk something on his father's money. He made up what his father could have gone off on him about.
Gary said this was like 43 years ago and he remembers it all. Howard said it's like it happened yesterday. Jason said they'd find something to complain about no matter where he took them.
Howard said he took his parents to a nice place in Detroit when he had a good job. He said his mother didn't even know where Detroit was. He said She only likes New York City. He said She doesn't like Florida. Howard said they don't even leave the house. Howard said he was making 30,000 a year in Detroit. He said he asked Wally Clark where to go. He told him to take them to this steak house. He said he wasn't evolved back then so he had steak. He said this place was so fancy that you gave your name ahead of time and they put matches on the table with your name on them. He said it was so stupid. Howard said he wanted to impress his parents though. He said they had the best steaks around out there. He said it was fresh so it was really good.
Howard said he took his parents to this place and his mother said it just wasn't that good. Howard said it wasn't New York. Shuli said it's insanity that they were complaining to him about where he took them. Howard said it really was. Howard said his mother would talk about it if they brought up the Aegean Faire place.
Ronnie asked if his sister went through that. Howard said they were afraid of her. He said he admires that about his sister. He said She didn't put up with any bullshit. He said she'd leave the house and slam the door if they gave her shit. Howard said he just took it all.
Howard said he's a mess. He said his sister was way more of a man than he was. Howard said that's it. He said he's still there and still going. He said he's at the psychiatrist all the time. He said he lives there. Robin asked if he has resolved any of this. Howard said some of it but not all of it. He said he can't let it go. Jason said you can't just let it go. Howard said it's not easy. Robin said to expect something different is a difficult thing. Robin said it's not their fault that they had no ability to do better. Gary asked what dwelling on it does. Howard said nothing.
Robin asked Howard if he thought that he was ruining the party he left on New Year's eve at 8:45. Howard said no. He said there were so many people there. He said he has had people leave early from his house but no one even missed him. He said Ronnie knows that he was done by quarter to 9. He said he was in bed by 9. Howard said he got in bed and watched something on TV. He said Beth fell asleep. He said he would have banged her but She was tired and had her period. He said he jerked off twice the next day. Shuli said he showed her. Ronnie said it's funny how that works out on New Year's Eve that they get their period. Howard said he'd bang her anyway but She doesn't want to do that. Howard said women are so freaked out by that. Robin said your body doesn't feel great. Ronnie said you get bloated and have cramps and back pain. He said he's just saying...
Brent asked Ronnie if he ever has sex when she's on her period. Ronnie said She takes care of him. He said they have a plan for that time of month. Robin said it's probably just to shut him up. Howard said imagine Ronnie laying there naked and a big load coming out. Everyone was grossed out by that. Howard said ''that's amores... mmm.''
Robin said She was leaving yesterday and Benjy called out her name. Robin said Jason told her to run. She said Benjy called again and he finally got his Christmas present because it had to be sent there. Howard asked if She really got him a present. Robin said She did. Howard asked Robin why She had to send it there. Robin said they don't have an address for him.
Gary said Benjy moves around a lot. He said he's constantly looking to house sit for people. He said he house sits and he just moves from place to place. Howard said he has a place where he lives. He said he just does. Shuli said he has a dog now too. Howard said he didn't know that. He said that poor dog.
Jason read a post from Benjy from not too long ago. He was looking for a place to house sit. Howard said he can't be doing that badly. Gary said he had an apartment. He said maybe he likes to move around. Howard said he should ask him about that. He said maybe not.
Jason said that Benjy tries to shut Howard down when he says something to him. He said he hates that. He said it just stops the conversation. He said it's a lame attempt to control you.
Ronnie said he comes in wearing a short sleeve shirt and no coat when it's 10 degrees out. Howard said even a homeless guy has a coat. JD said he's big into this one guy who can transform himself in the cold. Howard said he's not that guy though. He said he has protective blubber but that only lasts so long.
Shuli said Benjy gets driven over in a car so he thinks he can get away with it. Howard said he does too but he brings a coat. Jason said if he can have a car then he can afford a coat. Howard said he's like a seal. Howard said Benjy wanted to do the polar plunge last week.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said the show is a well oiled machine and they don't need Benjy in there. She said he's lucky he still has a spot up there. He said that he's a terrible creep and he does sabotage the show. Howard asked if something happened between them. Mariann said no but he did something to another fan. She said She saw the disrespect and She will carry that to her grave. She said this guy is a nut job.
Howard said he got a Christmas card from Mariann. He said Gary asked if he had to show him every piece of mail from her or just throw it out. Howard said he wanted to see the card thoguh. He said he asked to see the card and he said there was nothing normal about it. Howard said it was all Wack Pack on the card. Gary said her husband was in the corner. Mariann said that wasn't her husband. Gary said he didn't think it was a weird card. Gary said he thought it was her family. Howard said it's a crazy woman's card. Howard said Gary missed the whole point of the card. Mariann said She had something on the back too. She started to ramble so Howard hung up on her. Howard said Gary had better show him everything from her if he's missing what was on that card.
Howard read an email from a woman who said that Memet was right with his advice for William. Jason said his dating life sounds miserable.
Howard said someone wrote in about Robin forgetting to mention Jay Thomas in the news when She read about the people who died in 2017. Robin said She did forget that.
Howard read some more email about JD laughing during the show yesterday. Howard said some guy asked them not to say two thousand and eighteen. He said he didn't know he was saying that. Howard read some mail about The Last Jedi and Robin's opinion on that.
Gary asked how he can go to a bar and not to work. Jeff said all they do is bust on him. Jeff said every Wack Packer they pick on. Howard read some email from some fans who went off on Jeff saying that he has no respect for the show. Howard mentioned that Jeff is jerking it to men pretending to be women. Jeff said what's wrong with those people. Shuli said a lot. He asked Jeff why he keeps doing it. Jeff didn't answer. Howard said if you know it's guys and you keep doing it then you might have an issue. Jeff said it's not. He said focus on the fact that there are guys pretending to be women. Howard said he has Jeff on the phone though. Jeff asked why he's giving them a voice. Howard asked why he's involved with them sexually. Jeff got all upset and cursed Howard out and hung up on him.
Howard played a song parody about Jeff and said he has to explain himself again. He said he was warning Jeff about guys sexting with him and he takes it as him being the bad guy. Shuli said they're not telling people to do this. He said it goes on year round but they only bring it up once in a while.
Howard said if he was his brother he'd bring it up. He said they're men pretending to be women and he's mad at him. He said he's not the one tricking him. Jason said he doesn't care that they're dudes on the other end. Ronnie said he's the one with his cock out. Howard said look at Ronnie there. Howard said he has to do the year in review after the break.
Howard said he thought they were making up. Howard said this is the guy who defends him at the bar. Robin said he insists he's a part of the show but then he's a fan.
Shuli said he gets messages from people about the Wack Pack and they go after all of them. He said he got a message from a woman who friended Jeff on Periscope and within 15 minutes he asked her to do a DM session and then She was sent a video of Jeff talking dirty to her. He said his hands are under the table and he was doing something. He said She was mortified by that. Robin said if they come back they have to be men.
Howard had Jeff back on the phone. He said if he wants to find a woman he can't be like Harvey Weinstein. He said they don't want you jerking off to them right away. Howard said he gets so excited that he's jerking off right away. He told him to keep it in his pants. Jeff said ''Oh my god.''
Jeff said he wants to make a point. Howard said he has to go. Jeff said he's trying to make a point. He said he says he's so loyal to everyone but that's bullshit. Howard said he's right. Gary asked if he's afraid of losing him to another radio show. Howard told Jeff to just share it with the people at the bar when he's defending him. Jason said you know they're all making fun of him at the bar. Jeff said he gave up so much of his life for Howard. Gary asked what he would have been doing with his life. Jeff said he got tickets for him and his mother to go to a concert and KC called him asking him to come down there. He said he didn't go to the concert and then his mother died. Howard said okay. He said he's giving up everything for the show. Jeff said he never says anything but then they do this and he has to say something. Howard said he gave up his scholarship to MIT for the show.
Gary asked how much free stuff he's gotten from the show. Jeff asked when they last sent him anything. Shuli said the fans send him stuff 7 days a week. Howard said he really has to go. Shuli wanted to ask him something. He said this woman said he had a nickname for his penis which was Thor. Howard said that's disgusting.
Howard said they have bagels there on Wednesday and he ends up taking them home with him. Jason said he claims it was only 2 but people saw him taking more than that. Gary said the point is that he has decided that he knows when people have had enough. Howard played a clip of himself talking to Benjy about taking the bagels last year.
Howard said he tried explaining that to Benjy but he doesn't hear him. He said that they talked to Benjy about making out with a transgender person last year. Howard played a clip of that conversation.
Howard asked if anyone there grabs tittie before making out with someone. He said that's what Benjy claimed he did. He was on his way to making out when he grabbed her breast. Gary said he's not galloping in like usual. Howard said he must not want to defend that. Howard said he will move on then.
Benjy came in and said he didn't know if he was supposed to come in. Howard said he did ask him a question. Benjy said he didn't kiss the guy. He said he did caress her breast though. He said some part of him must have known it was a guy. Howard said he slept with him in a bed. Benjy said no. He said the guy didn't let him leave. He said he was living with her parents and he'd get in trouble if he woke them up. Howard said if he was making out with a chick and he saw it was a dude he'd leave.
Benjy insisted he didn't make out with that guy. Howard asked if he had any bagels today. Benjy said he did but he thinks people have two. Howard said he can eat 2 there but not bring them home. Jason said that he probably walks past 50 delis that he could get one from on his way home. Benjy said he gets Howard's point about the whole thing.
Gary asked where Benjy lives now. Benjy said he's in ''the dorm'' right now. Howard asked why he's moving around so much. Benjy said he's looking for something long term. He said he's sitting for a guy who is out of town. Howard asked why he doesn't get his own place. Benjy said he's trying to find a place. Howard said he didn't know he got a dog either. He asked what's going on. Benjy said the dog is in the dorm. He said he's taking good care of her. He said he thinks she's happy.
Gary asked where his stuff is at. Benjy said he got two closets at a mini storage place where he used to live. Howard said this is so odd. Benjy said he had a nice apartment for years and he's looking for another place. Robin said she's been sending his gifts there for 3 years. Howard said he doesn't have a permanent address. Benjy said he didn't like his address on file there. He said they were giving it out. Howard asked what he's talking about. Gary said it's for Christmas cards and gifts. Shuli said he looks like he's being tailed when he leaves there.
Howard said he has no problem with them having his address. Benjy said he'd have them all over. Jason said when he started working there at K-Rock they asked him to have Benjy fill out information for his birthday and he refused to do it. Howard said he doesn't have a wallet either. He said he has a plastic bag full of money. Howard said that's weird. He said he used to keep a sleeping bag and a pillow to sleep in here in the studio.
Gary said when they were on Madison Ave at K-Rock they had an office for Mel and Benjy slept in there one night. Benjy said he had a really nice office. Howard said he knows. He said it's like a chubby rat. He said he's shocked Mel didn't fire him. Gary said he had a lot of tolerance for the characters on the show.
Howard said this is the 20th anniversary of Benjy's first time on the air. Howard said last year Benjy posted pictures of his penis online. He said he wanted people to know that he had a beautiful penis. Howard said Benjy had with measured by Richard and he wanted it erect but he had a hard time getting it up for him. Howard played a clip of Benjy trying to get it up for Richard to measure.
Howard said his favorite part of that whole thing was Benjy falling out of a chair when he was trying to get hard. He let out a scream and a laugh while that was happening. Howard said imagine that the kids are living with him in a dorm. Benjy said he has his own room there. Howard asked what the hell is going on over there. He said it doesn't make any sense. Gary said he's sure that it's going on. He asked if he has a credit card and bills and stuff. Benjy said he has a PO Box. Gary said he can afford an apartment. Benjy said he can but he's looking for the right one.
Howard said Richard wasn't able to get an accurate measurement. He said Richard came in and explained what it looked like to him. Howard played a clip of Richard doing that.
Howard asked if he has fucked a girl in the dorm room. Benjy said he has not. Jason asked how he's getting the dog in there. Benjy said it's allowed in there. Howard said he remembers in college he saved his dad money by letting a student use his apartment. He said he was sleeping on newspapers on his bed when he came back. Howard said he should have bought a sheet. Howard said he kicked the guy out.
Gary said when they first met Benjy he was renting out an office in a building and he would sleep under a desk.
Howard asked if there are other people in the dorm with him. Benjy said some people do ask him if he's a student. Howard asked if he's depressed that he's 50 and living in a dorm. Benjy said he loves where it is. He said it's beautiful and it's a great place. He said if he could stay there it would be wonderful. He said the kids start school in a couple of weeks. Howard said he should enroll and leave there. Ronnie asked what happens when school starts. Benjy said he thought he had a place but he has to keep looking.
Howard asked if he eats in the dining hall. Benjy said no. He said they may not be open now. Gary said he doesn't know here he's going to be in 2 weeks. Gary said he's getting anxiety just thinking about it. Howard said he just want his own place. Robin said he can't have a girl home. Benjy said he could have girls here. Howard asked if he does laundry there. Benjy said he does. He said there are Co-Eds there too. Jason asked if he has an RA there. Howard said he could be like Van Wilder. He said he was in college for like 8 years. Benjy said if he saw this place he'd be impressed. Benjy said he knows what he wants to find but it's tough. Howard said it's not that tough.
The guys asked how old Benjy is. Benjy said he's going with 46. Howard said he's known him way too long to be 46. He said it's time to come out of the closet. Howard said he's living like a teenager. Gary asked what his deal is in that place. Benjy said he gets 5 1/2 weeks. He said it's a good deal for under 2 grand. Howard said that's not a great deal. Benjy said it is for Manhattan. He said it's a bedroom, dressing room and bathroom. Howard asked what a dressing room is. Benjy said he doesn't know but it's like a big closet.
Howard asked what's up with him not wearing a jacket. Benjy said he was mad at Ronnie for making fun of him yesterday. Ronnie said he has so much shit going on that the guys are making fun of him. Benjy said he has about 5 seconds to leave for work from the dorm. Benjy said he has coats in his bag. He said he has them with him at work. He said he puts it on when he leaves work. Howard said it's like 0 degrees out. Benjy said the cab is too hot so he doesn't need a jacket.
Howard said he doesn't get it. He said he knows he's into shtick but this is for real. Benjy said Ronnie gets so irritated by it all. He said he has his coats with him in his bag. Ronnie said he just doesn't understand it. He said it's fucking weird. Howard said he doesn't get it either. Benjy said he likes to feel that cold from the house to the car. Howard said that's weird.
Howard said this was Benjy's year in review. Howard said that's it for 2016. Benjy said it's 2017. Howard said he's not sure why he keeps saying 2016. Robin said that was a good year in review and it reminds them of who Benjy really is.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if anyone from the show hangs with him outside the show or only at work. Howard asked the guys if anyone has a real relationship with him. Jason said no but he has to say he enjoys off air Benjy. He said he has talks with him in the hallway. Howard asked JD. JD said they talk here and there. He said he's not sure he's ever met the real Benjy.
Gary said he thought he met the real Benjy in the first 2 or 3 years but he just talks to him in the hallway there. Howard asked Ronnie if he's ever had him over. Ronnie said he has invited him but he never shows up. Brent said he has political debates in the hall as well. Shuli said he's tried to get him on stage with him but it never works out.
Gary said Benjy did come to a party at Stuttering John's house once but he had night terrors and woke up the baby. He said he never got invited again.
Robin had Benjy over to an event but just once. Howard asked if it bothers Benjy that he has no relationships there. Benjy said he's close to Richard and Sal. He said he was at Robin's house in the past year or so. JD said he was at Richard's wife's shower.
Howard said he has Chad who is Benjy's neighbor at the dorm. One of the guys from the office called in as Chad and said that they're having a kegger and they're wondering if he's coming. Benjy said he'll be there.
Howard said he will do another part of the year after a break. He said he has to do a review of Brent for the year too. He said he will do Wack Packers and more. They went to break after that.
Robin said She thinks She just wants to stay out of the house since She adopted that kid. Howard said She was going to cut back on her hours but now she's working 15 hours a day. Robin said it was a month after She said She was cutting back. Howard said Robin knows that getting up at 4 means you have to go to bed early. Robin said they send them a packet that they have to use to prepare for the show the next day and it's like a Yellow Pages.
Howard read about Hoda's new job and how that all came about. Howard said he would love it if She started harassing men at work. Howard said Megyn Kelly is making like 20 million to host an hour and Hoda is making 7. Howard said maybe She came in low and she's going to hit them up hard if the ratings go up. Robin said Matt was a bargain when they hired him. Robin said Megyn came in on a wave of publicity and they had to pay that money. Robin said Hoda didn't have that leverage. Howard said She did. Robin said She didn't have Megyn Kelly leverage.
Howard said Hoda isn't complaining about the money. He said She has the job She dreamed about. Howard said She should be making more. Robin said they always hit you with the line that they can't do that raise thing for you. Howard said she's going to be doing 3 hours a morning there. Howard said She has to do other things there and then She works there at Sirius. Howard said suddenly Hoda is all of NBC. Robin said She has to drink wine with Kathie Lee too. Howard said they have all the eggs in one basket there.
Howard said Megyn Kelly must be laughing that she's making so much. Robin said She won't be laughing much longer. Howard said She is doing better in the ratings. Robin said that show is hard to watch.
Howard said Megyn's ratings have gone up a bit since She started having the female victims on her show. Howard said She just has to keep that up. Robin said it's getting bad over there.
Howard said that guy ended the show after that. He said it had just started. Howard played a song parody about the Angry Political Guy with their Angry Political Guy impersonator. Howard had the fake Angry Political Guy on the phone and spent a minute talking to him.
Howard said he's so sick of the anti-Semitism being on the rise. Howard said this fucking Lorde is a singer who is anti-Semitic. Howard said She has one hit song that she's living off of. Howard said She was supposed to play in Israel. He said that She must do that Royals song for two hours straight. Robin said Seal used to do a concert and perform ''Kissed by a Rose'' three times. Howard said this Lorde has thoughts on Israel. He said maybe Roger Waters got a hold of her. Howard said Roger waters is hyper focused on Israel. He said it's not Russia but Israel. Howard said Israel is fucking with us in our election but Roger waters is going off on Israel. Howard said Lorde is playing in Russia but not Israel. Howard said Roger Waters is so focused on Jews.
Howard said this Lorde has no problem going to Russia. He said that Roger Waters and Lorde should start a ''fuck the Jews'' world tour. Howard said he's waiting for Katy Perry's view on Syria before he decides on what to think.
Howard said he has no use for Lorde. Jason said it's so lame. He said Roger Waters seems to have put some thought into it but Lorde hasn't put any. Robin said when you have a group where no one wants to talk to you how do you figure this out. Robin said you can't figure out anything. Robin said it has to be him and not them. Howard said it's them, it's never Roger. Howard said he hopes Lorde has a good time in Russia. Howard said he thinks it's amazing She can sell out a concert anywhere. He said he liked that song She did ''Royals'' but what else has She done. Howard played some of that song. Howard said she's a hose bag. He didn't even know what that was. The guys said it's the bag that goes to a douche. Howard said Mel Gibson is the President of her fan club.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to yell at him about this Israel thing. Howard let him talk for 30 seconds. He said that this is about one country and not about the Jews. Howard asked why it's Israel. The caller said they're stealing land and ethnic cleansing. Howard said what about Russia. The caller said they're stealing land. Jason said they're not stealing land. He said they were attacked in the 70s. The caller said they're ethnic cleansing. He said they're stealing land. Howard and Jason said they are not. The caller said they're violating borders. Howard said after you get attacked you have to move away from the enemy? The caller said he's afraid to hear this. Howard said he is not and he's studied this. The caller was going on about that and Howard hung up on him in the middle of it.
Howard said these fuckers who support Russia aren't patriots. Howard said they're trying to undermine our democracy. Howard said fuck them. He said fuck that Putin guy too.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were doing a character who was from Israel and into Lorde. Howard took another call from a guy who said Lorde is going to be at some casino and they're having a tough time selling tickets. Howard said of course they are. He said She has one hit song. Howard said he calls her Borde. The caller said that Seal only has one hit song. Howard said Seal is 3 times what Lorde is. Howard said he has 3 hit songs. He had Fred name them.
Howard asked where her album is. Howard said he wants to hear what she's writing. Robin said there's really nothing to that song either. Howard said it's a fine song but how do you do a whole concert. He said he doesn't get it.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked about what we're doing to the people in Puerto Rico. Howard said he agrees. He said that she's right and they're not doing enough for them. Howard said let Lorde solve that problem. the caller said they need a better artist to help with that. Howard said there are a lot of injustices and it's just interesting that Roger Waters has latched on to that Israel thing. Howard said he's constantly talking about it. He said that's the only thing he finds wrong in the world.
Gary said he saw Roger at Oldchella and he was on stage spouting about it. Howard said just shut the fuck up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is Russian and he grew up in that godforsaken country. He said that the truth is that there is no such thing as Palestine and Howard is right about what he's saying. Howard said this guy appreciates this country. the caller said he learned English listening to Howard's show. Howard said when he sees these fuckers how don't vote and the Roy Moore fuckers they're not American. Howard said this is the greatest place on the planet. He said if you live in another country where you can't drive because you have tits, that's not right. Howard said the governments take away your freedoms. He said that he does worry about our freedoms here but for now it's the best place in the world.
Howard asked Fred to play the Lorde album. He said he wants to hear her songs. Howard asked why there's no more hits. Fred played her song ''Green Light'' and Howard goofed on it. He said it's a horrible song. Howard said it's over. He can't handle it. He said he doesn't like that. Howard asked what's up with her one name thing. He said She hasn't earned it yet. He said Cher earned it and Madonna earned it. Howard said Lorde hasn't.
Howard said She got that name when her parents heard her singing and said ''Good lord...'' Howard said you have to have at least two hits to have one name. Robin said Seal has 3.
Howard said Wendy the Slow Adult left messages saying that she's had it with the show. Howard said he has to talk about that after taking a break. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and did a live commercial read and then took a call from a guy named Pocket who asked who he thinks is the one person he'd bring back to life who died in 2017. Howard said he'd need a list. He said Don Rickles, Jay Thomas, Prince maybe. Howard said Jay might be annoyed if he brought him back. Howard asked if anyone believes you go somewhere when you die. Robin said you go in the ground. JD said that he watched a video where they might be in a computer simulation. Howard asked what that was about. JD tried to explain it to Howard but he had a hard time getting it out. Howard asked where the computer is. He said it's like the Matrix. JD said he's not sure why he has a microphone in front of him.
Howard said he doesn't understand people who think they're going to go off and live somewhere when they die.
Howard said he has to do a bunch of things like fantasy football and the Year in Review. Gary said they have to do Wendy. Howard said they give Wendy some money once in a while. Howard said he gave her $250 and Gary the Conqueror the same. Howard said he thought it was nice. Jason said he thought they were good but She has been blowing up his phone and texts. He said she's been complaining about it ever since She got it.
Howard played a clip of Wendy saying that She can see what She can do with the 250 but it's not a lot of money. She said She hasn't asked for a lot lately. Wendy said She can't have fun because She has no extra spending money. Howard said he had someone ask for $300,000 but $500,000 would set them up nice. Shuli asked what he told Jackie. Howard said it wasn't Jackie but he told the person it's not going to happen. Howard said it was money for a second home. Howard said how about sell your second home.
Robin said She had someone ask her for money to fix their Porshe. Howard said he told someone they'd float them 5 grand when they asked for 50,000. Howard said that wasn't enough.
Howard played another clip of Wendy saying she's done with the show if they don't give her more money. She said that she'll just go out and do whatever She has to do. Gary asked if She knows that She called the day before. Robin said she's asked for stuff throughout the year.
Gary said Wendy was saying that High Pitch Erik is a scammer and not her. Howard played a clip of Wendy talking about that. She said that she's tired of people treating her like crap. She said she's going to quit or whatever. She said they can go have fun now. She said High Pitch Erik is the one scamming people. Howard said they treat Erik like crap already. Howard said ''whatever'' is her ''Hey now!''
Howard asked if Wendy has called in. Jason said She texts him all the time. He said he has to try to pick up the context of what she's writing. He said that he had one from November where She asked for money. He said She claims She doesn't ask for money a lot. Jason read some of the texts from her and She does ask for money.
Howard said Wendy spends that money on things that She doesn't need. He said She is off the scratch off tickets but She spends it on other stuff. Shuli said she's very aware when it comes to money. He said She loved those scratch off tickets too. He said She has a great life.
Robin said according to Wolfie She had a fanny pack full of money. Jason said she'll spend long afternoons in fast food restaurants.
Howard said it was enough. He said it was so great. Howard said that might be one of his favorite things from 2017. He said he wanted that name back so bad. Shuli said it drove him nuts when all of the other Bobos showed up on Twitter.
Howard said Medicated Pete was great too. He said that he's socially awkward and he suffers from Tourettes. He's never held a job. Robin said he can't sit still. Gary said they are the only people who ever hired him. Howard said they put him in a job and he went and worked for Wayne Siegel's place and tried to sell cars. Howard played a clip of Pete selling a car. Howard said he ended up selling two cars. Howard had a clip of Pete closing a deal.
Shuli said that Pete is constantly messing with his hands. Jason said that he upsold a car from what the guy was looking at. He said that he sold him a Star Wars themed car after seeing the guy had a Star Wars thing on his key chain.
Howard said they got Pete to tell them about all of the things he sees on the meds he takes. He said he talked about seeing trees running after him and things like that. Howard played a clip of Pete talking about that.
Howard said he can't leave out Jeff the Drunk from the year in review. He said Jeff has been a Wack Packer for 25 years. Howard said Jeff has a dead arm he won't get rid of. He said he thinks some day they might be able to bring it back to life. Howard said they have said to him to cut it off and he can get around better. Howard said he won't listen. He said Jeff lives in a trailer and he has fans sending him stuff from his Amazon wish list. Howard said Jeff got really angry about people trolling him on Periscope. Howard played a clip of Jeff talking about the cops showing up at his trailer. Jeff said it's the fans sending them there.
Howard said he's a fascinating guy. He said Shuli interviews him all the time. Howard said Shuli discovered he had been masturbating on Periscope and it turned out to be some of the women were dudes. Howard said he told Jeff the truth and he got mad at him for telling him. Howard said Jeff said it wasn't true but he introduced him to this woman Jenna who was actually a guy named Lenny. Howard played a clip. Jeff was saying that was fucking bullshit. Howard said he's the only one telling him the truth.
Howard had a clip of Jeff quitting the show just a few weeks ago. He quit the show a bunch of times in 2017 and even today.
Howard said they got a P.I. to do some investigating. Howard played a clip of Dick Daniels talking to him about finding out about Jeff's trolls.
Howard said that was a lot of fun. He said that closes out 2017. Howard said there was so much Wack Pack stuff. He said High Pitch Erik came in weighing 400 pounds. He said the thing he remembers most about Erik is that he swears he's not gay but he jerks off to Donnie Wahlberg. Howard said he may not know what gay means. He said he got gastric sleeve surgery in 2017 too. Howard said they had Donnie Wahlberg and New Kids on the Block in the studio and Erik came in to watch. Howard said he didn't want to leave the studio. Howard played a clip of Erik in studio asking to stay in and watch.
Howard said High Pitch Erik told them he jerks off to Donnie and Jimmy Kimmel too. Howard played a clip of Erik talking about jerking off to the two. He was talking about cumming all over his chest after Jimmy jerks him off. Howard said there was a ton of shit about Erik in 2017.
Howard said he started a YouTube channel and this guy Vinnie was helping him out with that and Erik ended up fighting with him and threatening him. Howard played a clip of Erik going off on Vinnie.
Howard said there's nothing worse than being threatened by a Mickey Mouse sounding guy. Shuli did an impression of him clearing his throat in the middle of yelling at Vinnie. Howard asked what that is. Shuli said it's like a spike strip in his throat. He did more of his Erik impression with the voice cutting in and out.
Howard asked if 2018 can top 2017. Robin said She doesn't know about that. Shuli said that the Erik and Vinnie relationship isn't ending very well. He said Erik is getting a lawyer to go after his old lawyer Vinnie. Shuli said it's a long story. He said basically he left Vinnie's YouTube channel and he's doing the Gonzo podcast thing. He said there are cease and desist letters going out. He said the two are sending them to each other. Howard said this is amazing that he found a guy who put that together and he's somehow pissing this guy off. Robin said he found a lawyer to fight this case. Howard said he's looking forward to 2018 when he threatens to stab his new lawyer.
Howard said it's amazing what goes on during the show over the year. Gary said it's fascinating that none of them want to work. He said Pete is the only one. Jason said Pete doesn't want to work. He said he was with him at the car dealer and Pete wants to be paid to be a personality. Howard said that's his dream. Jason said he wants to be paid to be on stage. Shuli said he offerers him those jobs and he never shows up.
Howard said they got Pete a job at a gym and he ended up quitting. Robin said Gary the Conqueror is the only one who works. Elephant Boy is working too. Gary said Elephant Boy is mad at him after the Prostate Karaoke. He said he upset him over the shit comment. Howard asked if he has left him a voicemail message. Gary said no. Howard made one up instead. Howard said he's sure they'll get on track with Elephant Boy in 2018.
Brent said that Ronnie understands racing and he knows how to drive. He said he's going with Ronnie. Howard said Ronnie only watches races. Bobo said that he's not going to beat him. Howard said this is going to be the first thing on Howard 360.
Howard said he could envision the two of them crashing into each other. Ronnie said he won't catch him. Howard said Robin has raced. Robin said she's putting her money on Ronnie. Howard said Ronnie is like a madman. JD said he's going with Ronnie too. Howard said he's not sure who to take money on. Ronnie said he's not saying another word. He said his two hands on the wheel and his foot on the accelerator will prove the point. JD laughed.
Howard said he has one request. He asked Bobo if he can glue his toupee to the top of his helmet. Bobo didn't answer.
Shuli said that driving aggressively doesn't mean you can win a race. Bobo said that you have to know all of the banking and all of that. Ronnie said that Bobo thinks he knows everything. He said Bobo drag raced and it's not the same thing. Ronnie said they'll be using the school's stock cars. He said it's all driving skills.
Howard said that it would be something if Bobo died in a fiery car crash on the show. Howard said they have to do this. Robin asked what happens if Bobo loses. Howard said it's going to be an even race.
Bobo said he drag raced at National Speedway. Ronnie said he did too. He said he has trophies at home from 1969. Gary said he raced 48 years ago. Howard said if there's a crash all there will be left is Bobo's toupee. Ronnie said Bobo is all talk.
Shuli asked what's at stake for Ronnie in this. Howard said he gets evaluated by Bobo if he loses. Robin said they should take Bobo's name again if he loses. Shuli said Bobo has been contemplating getting rid of his toupee. Howard said if he loses he has to stop wearing his toupee. Bobo said he doesn't know about that. He said that's extremely hard. Howard said he's going to win. Bobo said he doesn't want that in the mix.
Howard asked how fast Bobo has gone on a track. Bobo said on the open road he went 140. He said at National Speedway it might have been 100 plus. He said he did 14 second runs. Ronnie said that's about what he did too. He asked how fast he's gone on a real track. Bobo said he hasn't been on a track like that. Robin asked if thinks he can beat him. Bobo said he has expertise. He said he has tactical driving around turns and stuff.
Howard said they can make him a toupee out of pubes to wear for a day. Bobo said that's disgusting. He said he gets the worse end of the deal in this. Brent said he thinks Bobo is afraid of losing. Bobo said he's not. Robin said they have to do something. Howard said they'll come up with something.
Howard said how about everyone just bukakke's Bobo. Robin said She can't do that. Howard said how about they jam a tire up his asshole. Howard said the bet is sort of on. He said that they'll be on the round track. Ronnie said it's a tri-oval. Howard said this will be big. He said he'll televise it. Robin said NASCAR might want to get involved. Ronnie said he'll get in touch with the school and get it all set up.
Jason said the track looks nothing like an oval. He said it looks like a triangle. Ronnie said that's why they call it the tricky triangle. Howard asked how fast he went on there. Ronnie said it's 170 average. He said that he's not going that fast in the corners.
Howard said you brake on the turn. Ronnie said you are on the brake and the gas at the same time. He said once you're in 4th you don't have to change gears. Howard said he has an idea. He said Wendy the Slow Adult can be the flag girl.
Howard asked if Ronnie is going to practice at all. Ronnie said not at all. He said he's going out there. Jason told him not to be too confident. He said Tom Chiusano thought he could beat stuttering John at golf but he lost to him in one hole.
Erik said he never got money every month like Vinnie said he would. Howard asked if he was going to share the profits. Erik said he was and he never got money. Shuli said they had to switch channels because someone said he was masturbating. He said that channel got shut down. Howard said he has ended the channel and now Vinnie is suing him because he cost him money. Erik said he didn't cost him any money. He said he doesn't know what Vinnie is claiming. Howard asked if Vinnie is suing him. Erik said he doesn't know what he says.
Howard asked Shuli what he knows. Shuli asked Erik if he's threatening Vinnie. Erik said he's got a lawyer who helped him with the Elephant Boy case. He said Vinnie is still airing the channel and he isn't stopping it where people are saying stuff about his mother.
Howard asked about patching things up and going back to work. Erik said he's never going back. He said he's sticking with Gonzo and that's it. Gary said he can't wait for the best of 2018 when they hear about Erik suing Gonzo. Howard asked if he's doing the same type of show with Gonzo. Erik said he does one show a week and it's just audio. He said he's getting paid to do it too.
Howard said he would love for this case to go to court. Shuli said he was in court with Elephant Boy and Erik and he kicked them right out of the court room. He said no one even spoke. He said there was a guy from TMZ there to document what was going on. Howard said they should have shot that on video.
Howard asked Erik what he ate last night. Erik said he had a baked potato with half a chicken. Howard said he guarantees that he'll weigh more than he did before this surgery. Howard let Erik go after Erik mentioned it's going to snow tomorrow. Howard said he has to take a break. They went to break after that.
Howard said they should do some news. He played Robin into it with a song parody. Robin started her news with a story about Carrie Underwood taking a fall at home and now she's revealing that She hurt her wrist and her face. She had to get 40-50 stitches. Howard asked if it ruined her hotness. Robin said she's not sure how it all turned out. Howard said he was very handsome and look at him. Howard said he always liked Carrie Underwood. He said She got thin after American Idol and She looked great. Howard asked if her face is fucked up now. Robin said she's saying She might not look the same. Howard said She might be gettable now. Howard said that's a terrible thing. He asked where She fell. Robin said She was at her home in November and it was obviously a bad fall. Howard said he's very careful at home. Howard said Beth hopes his face changes. Howard said he might turn into something special like the Hulk. Howard said he likes Carrie. He said some people think he doesn't.
Robin said they went over the most popular movies yesterday. She said they are going to go over the most popular songs today. Robin went over the top 5 songs of 2017. Robin said the Chainsmokers and Coldplay were at number 5. Howard said they had those guys in there. Howard said he noticed that Lorde isn't on this list. Robin said Kendrick Lamar is at number 4. Robin had Howard play clips of each song. Robin said Bruno Mars was at number 3. Robin said Luis Fonsi was at number 2. Ed Sheeran was at number 1. Howard said he was going to give that song to Rihanna but he ended up keeping it for himself. Robin said Ed Sheeran has done cameos in shows this year and he's doing one on The Simpsons this year. Robin said She loves that he does that. Howard said he's a humble kid and he had a meal with him too. He said he's a good kid. Robin said he's a fan of these things and he's enjoying his life. Howard said ''Yeah, unlike Fred who's stuck up.'' He did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said one song that didn't make it on the list was Robin singing ''Chandelier.'' He played some of that. Robin said at least she's appreciated there.
Robin read a story about Cardi B having her first 3 songs in the top 10 on Billboard at the same time. Howard said he doesn't know one of her songs. Robin had Howard play some clips of her 3 top 10 songs. Fred played clips of Robin covering ''Bodak Yellow.'' Robin said She has a new song at number 14 on the charts. Howard said he doesn't know any of these songs. He said he must be out of it. Howard said he's into music from the 60s through the 90s.
Robin brought up Chris Cornell and how he died in 2017. Howard said he can't believe that guy killed himself. Robin had him play some ''Black Hole Sun.'' Robin said they're asking fans not to film their visits to his grave. Robin said it's against their policy in the cemetery. Howard said that you'd think that would peter out at some point. He said he doesn't understand people. He said they stand outside on New Year's Eve and at someone's grave. He said it's a big waste of time. Robin said that She loved Chris but she's not going to his grave. Howard said there are a lot of weird people in this world. He said there are too many.
Robin read about how Taylor Swift is back in the top album sales. Robin said She was thinking She has to listen to this album. Howard said he actually did. Robin said She wants to hear some of the songs so She had Howard play some clips. Howard went through the songs with Robin. They went over some other music news while they did that.
Robin read a story about Sarah Palin and her family. Robin said Sarah Palin's husband got beat up by their son. Robin said the police report says that the son broke in through a window and beat up the dad. Howard said he's a fan of John McCain but how did he pick her? Robin said he didn't pick her. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a man in Canada who is charged with sexual assault and other things. Robin said they were kidnapped in Pakistan at one point and the guy is accused of assaulting his family days after they got home.
Robin read a story about how two new democratic senators will be sworn in today. Robin had some details about those two.
Robin read a story about Michele Bachman possibly running for Al Franken's seat. Howard said that would be awful. Robin said She was recently on the Jim Bakker show talking about that. Howard said that's the problem right there. Howard said anyone who does business with televangelists are a problem. Robin had some audio of someone talking about the states with the most pornography searches and one of them was Alabama. He was saying that's obvious when people vote for Doug Jones. Howard said people voted for him because Roy Moore was accused of assaulting under age girls.
Robin read a story about some airlines that are giving bonuses to their employees. Robin read about Southwest airlines and what they're doing. Robin said Trump is taking credit for that because of the tax cut bill. Howard said don't tell Wendy about that or she'll be on the phone asking for money. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a guy commenting on Trump taunting Kim Jong Un about his nuclear weapon button. Robin had some audio of this commander talking about the tweets.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's not wrong about music. He said that Cardi B stuff is the worst. Howard said he just doesn't get a lot of today's music. The caller said it's like Wendy is in the top 5. He said Zeppelin is the best. Howard asked how old he is. The caller said he's 31. Howard said there you go.
Robin read about Donald Trump's tweets about the protests in Iran. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that on MSNBC.
Robin read a story about Trump planning his own award show and he's going to announce his most dishonest media awards of the year on Monday. Robin said he's going to have all of the fake news media getting awards. Howard said he's going to guess it's people who disagree with him.
Robin read about how Orin Hatch is going to be retiring. Robin had some audio of Hatch talking about how he knows when to give up. Howard said he sounds ready.
Robin read a story about how Mitt Romney may run for senate in Utah. Robin said he changed his Twitter account to read that he's from Utah and not Massachusetts. Howard asked if you can do that. Robin said She thinks there was a senator who was in Arkansas who moved to New York. Howard said she's right.
Robin read a story about the new marijuana laws in California and had some audio of a guy talking about how you can see how much THC is in each strain. Howard asked Robin when She last smoked. Robin said it was in Amsterdam. Howard asked Fred. Fred said it may have been 1980. Howard said he can't remember when he did it. He said he liked weed when it was shitty. Robin said it sounds like you can find the weaker stuff now.
Robin said that Billy Joe Armstrong from Green Day is getting political and ripping Trump on Instagram. Robin had some quotes from Billy Joe about how Trump is sick and threatening innocent people on Twitter.
Robin read a story about how they're warning people not to leave their pets in their cars in the winter. Robin said they found a dog frozen in a car in Hartford. Robin had some audio of an official talking about that. Howard asked how someone can be that stupid. Howard said don't get started if you can't take care of an animal. Howard said he's worried about Benjy's dog. He asked if he can know what he's doing. Howard said maybe he's responsible. Robin said that he says he loves the dog. Howard said maybe he'll be okay.
Robin brought up The Bachelor and how one of the girls is into taxidermy. Howard said that bummed him out. He said he hopes She doesn't find love. Howard said the Bachelor is a former race car driver who sells real estate now. Howard asked who still does taxidermy anyway.
Robin said that PETA is calling on Luke Bryan to free the kangaroos that he got for his wife. Robin said that She saw people advocating giving dogs for Christmas. Robin said this guy got two Kangaroos. She said don't give dogs for Christmas either.
Robin said that Ringo Starr has been knighted in England. Robin said he's now Sir Ringo Starr. Howard said he doesn't like people who take that title. Howard said he's not calling him Sir. Howard said you should only get that if you slay a dragon. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:05am.
Today's show was over around 10:50am.
Today's show was over around 10:50am.