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Howard started the show playing a clip of fake Joan Rivers announcing they have Liam Gallagher coming in. Howard said that Liam is there today. He said they had Noel on the show years ago. Robin said they've never had Liam before. Howard said Oasis is no more and Liam was the lead singer. Howard said the story about their fights and their tough upbringing. He said they don't talk to each other anymore. Howard said Liam will do a song and they'll talk to him. Robin said they were having words via social media recently. Howard said they don't even have each other's phone numbers anymore. Howard said they're done with each other. Howard said he's the only intermediary now. Howard said its like Black Crows kind of stuff.
Howard said the funny thing is that the Black Crows and Oasis were going to tour. Gary said they did and it was called the Brotherly Love tour. Howard asked how many years ago that was. He wondered how that all works. Gary said he thinks they completed the tour and it wasn't all that long. Howard said he likes both of those bands. Howard said Oasis was huge and they sold more albums than anyone in the world.
Howard said Oasis had a single out called Supersonic. Howard said it came out and it was huge. Howard said the album didn't come out for months. Howard said they went on tour and they were big in Japan and England but not that big in the United States. Howard said he should get into it later. He said the thing he remembers about the first album is that they threw it away and brought in another guy to mix it and it sounded really good. Howard said the guy who did the mixing was a guy who worked with them live. He said they had another hit with ''Live Forever.'' Howard played some of that. Howard said they fired their drummer on the second album. Howard said the guy wasn't keeping up so they fired him. Howard said the brothers didn't feel he was keeping up so they fired him. Howard said they ended up settling a lawsuit with the guy. Howard said he'll have to ask about that too.
Howard said the guys had a good thing going and they weren't able to keep it together. Howard said it's an interesting story. He said people who aren't in rock bands think they'd figure out a way to keep it going. Robin said it has to be the greatest job in the world. Howard said they'll get into it later in the show.
JD said this went on for days. He said it was Friday, Saturday and Sunday. He said it was like they had bones in their apartment. JD said he came home from work on Monday and the medical examiner was outside the building. JD said he found out someone had died in the building. JD said it had to be at least 4 or 5 days they didn't know.
Howard said now they know to call the authorities when they smell something. Howard said older people can just die and no one knows. JD said he knows. He said his fiancee was looking up that bodies can explode from that. JD said she's worried that's what happened.
Howard said a friend of his was looking for an apartment and they found one and the price was really good. Howard said then just before buying it found out that someone was murdered in it. Howard asked if they'd back out of the deal. Howard said they were looking for a long time. Howard said it was a really nice apartment too. Robin said she'd have to take it. Howard said he said that at first too. He said then he thought about it and wondered if it would affect retail. Howard said it was a gruesome story in the news. Robin said it was scrubbed down.
Howard asked JD if they were examining for disease and stuff. JD said he doesn't know. He said they didn't smell it in their apartment but in the hall it was really bad. Robin said when they have it on TV shows they have people almost fainting from the smell. JD said he needs that cream from Silence of the Lambs. Howard didn't remember that scene. JD said they'd put it under their nose so they didn't smell it. Howard said he needs that for when he takes a dump.
JD said the building is smelling better now. Robin asked how long it takes to go away. JD said it takes a good week or so. Howard said he heard JD is going camping with his girlfriend. JD laughed and said he is. He said someone likes going camping so they're going camping. Howard said he used to campo when he was younger. He said they did the whole thing. He said he didn't like it. JD said she likes it and she's continued to like it.
Howard asked where they're going. JD said he's not sure. It might be upstate. He said they're just going for a weekend. JD said there's a wine place up there too. Howard said he has to check for ticks too. JD said he knows. Howard said he'd tell her to go all she wants but he's not going. JD said they're sleeping in a tent. Howard told him to bring tarps. He said you have to lay the floor or you'll get spiders and shit on you.
Howard said he had a spider bite on his eye once. JD said alright. Howard said you lay down tarp on the floor. He said it makes you feel better even if it doesn't do anything.
Howard asked if JD is planning on shitting outside. JD said he doesn't know. Howard said you lash a log to a tree and then another log to a tree and you dig a hole. He said then you sit on the log and shit in mid air. Howard said people can walk by. Howard said that's what camping is. Howard told him to watch out for poison ivy. JD said he's going to do his best to not let anything touch him. Howard said it's pretty gross. He said now we don't have to camp so we don't have to deal with that stuff.
Howard said he has a friend who camps and he's like Rambo. He said he eats deer rats. Howard said that's what he lives on. Robin asked if he brings food. Howard said he doesn't. He said that's his military training. Howard said he sleeps in natural caves. Howard said he will go to the Grand Canyon with nothing but a knife. He said that's real camping. Robin said she thinks being able to build a house is awesome.
Howard asked JD how he's going to eat. JD said he thinks they're bringing canned stuff. Howard said just go to a shitty motel and call that camping. JD said there is something called Glamping that he'd like to do. Howard asked if he's afraid of bears and stuff. JD said he's afraid of all of that stuff. He said it's overrated. Howard said he did all of that. He said he took 40 teenagers on a camping trip for 6 weeks. Howard said it really isn't that fun. He said you have to bring your own toilet paper and all of that. He said they may have a port-a-potty out there to shit in. Howard said just wait till he goes in there. He said forget that dead body smell.
JD said it's just a couple of days. Howard said that can seem like months. He said it can be horrible. Howard said you wake up in the morning to make sure you haven't been bitten. He said then your breath is bad and you have to get to water and brush your teeth. He said everything you do takes hours. He said that's supposed to be the beauty of it though.
Howard said he has a bear on the phone. Howard took the call and the bear said that they don't want JD out there. He said they don't need that fatso stomping around. JD said he should talk. The bear said that he'd kill to live in a building with a dead body in it. Howard let the bear go a short time later.
Howard asked if JD is going to have cell service. JD said he thinks they will. He said he wants to have it just in case something goes wrong. Howard said that some people go off the grid. JD said he wants to be on the grid. Howard said he definitely wants to be on the grid. Howard said he knows guys have gotten stuck in the woods and weren't able to get out. JD said there was that movie where the guy had to cut off his own arm to get out.
Howard said Jeremy Renner is coming in to talk about his film. He said he's a hunter and tracker and he has to solve a murder. Howard said he's out in Wyoming. Howard said the winters are so cold out there that you can have your lungs explode. Howard said it's that bad out there. Robin asked why anyone would live there. Howard said that was the point of the movie. He said it was really depressing. Howard said he'll ask Jeremy about that.
Howard said he can't remember the name of the movie. Gary said it's called ''Wind River.'' Howard said that's it. Howard who said that. Gary said it was him. Howard said he wasn't on microphone. He said he's off too far.
Howard asked if Gary ever went camping. Gary said he did when he was a boy scout. Howard said he told that story about his mother wanting to be a den mother. Howard said she gave him the choice of doing that or he could take piano lessons. He said he signed up for piano lessons. Howard said he would have died of embarrassment if she was his den mother.
Howard said he can imagine if his dad had to take over for his mother. He said a den mother is supposed to teach you a bunch of stuff like tying knots and stuff. Howard said his mother would have just told everyone what's wrong with them. Howard did an impression of his mother talking to the boy scouts. Howard said his mother just criticizes. Howard had her going around the room and talking to the boys about why their parents are horrible. Howard had her talking about the holocaust with the boys too.
Howard said he figured the other kids would hate him if his mother did that. Howard said he didn't want to deal with that. Howard did more of his mother talking about him and how he has an accident in his underpants. Howard was wondering when it was going to end. He said he just wanted to wear jeans and sneakers to school and his mother didn't let him. He said she made him dress like he was going to meet the governor. Howard said they lived in a shithole. He said he can just imagine what would go on at the cub scout meeting. Howard had his mom talking about their hormones and talking about how women in Playboy aren't real and how real women look like her and Howard's sister.
Howard said he imagines his mother wearing that bathing cap with flowers on it when they go out swimming. He said she would wear that big bathing cap when they'd go swimming. He said she didn't want to get her hair wet for some reason. Howard said he can't think of a worse torture than doing that in a pool. Howard said she didn't get any water on her between that and the gigantic bathing suit she wore. Howard said she was like a Navy SEAL. He said it was like a SCUBA outfit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said JD has no idea what he's getting into. He said you have to shit in the woods and it can be really bad.
Howard said that one of his daughters likes to camp and she goes on big adventures to the Grand Canyon and things like that. Howard said she likes to go down the Colorado River and stuff. Howard said when you're in the Grand Canyon you have to shit and put it in a can. Howard asked JD if he knew about that. JD said he didn't. Howard said you have to carry our own shit around with you. JD said he doesn't plan on eating very much over the weekend. Howard played a song parody about JD.
Robin asked if they had to cover the latrine when they were done with it. Howard said they did. He said there were girls walking by too. He said he'd be sitting on a log with his little dick out and shitting. He said that's why he doesn't want to shit. He said there was no door where he was doing it. Howard asked why she wants to camp. JD said she's big into camping and being outside. Robin asked how long they've been together. JD said 2 or 3 years. He said he's been able to hold off this long. Howard said let her go do it with her friend or something. JD said she has.
Howard asked how the wedding planning is going. JD said there's not much to do. He said he's not sure if they've locked in the place yet. He said they have someone who can lock it in. The caller said JD has no idea what's going on. JD said he paid $500 so he's helping. Howard asked what that was for. JD said it's a person who helps plan. Howard asked who is going to be invited from work. JD said its not fully decided yet. JD didn't want to get into all of this stuff.
Howard asked JD about the place they're going to get married and how they're going to book it. JD said that the photographer works with those people and they'll get it booked. Howard didn't understand how that's going to work. JD didn't sound like he wanted to talk about it.
Howard asked if he paid for the photographer before anything else. JD said he's not going to talk about it. He said he doesn't know anything more than anyone else. Howard took a call from JD's wedding planner who was mumbling just like JD. He was talking about spending his money but he needs $1500. Howard said he needs more money to get him through.
Howard asked JD if the guy is doing engagement photos too. JD said they are probably going to do that there in the city. Howard said he was out in the park and drawing. Howard said these Japanese people would come by and stand in front of him. He said they were taking engagement pictures. He said that he was wondering what the fuck that shit was. Howard said it was all Japanese people. He didn't see anyone else doing it. It was just Japanese people. Robin said Howard just slipped and said black people and Americans. Howard said she knows what he means. Howard said Americans are just Americans. Howard said he didn't see any other ethnic groups doing this. It was just Japanese people.
Howard said it was such an unnatural pose for these people. Howard said it was the guy kneeling down and kissing the woman in front of a rock. Howard said the water was all green there too. He said he's not sure what's going on.
Howard asked JD what he wears for an engagement picture. JD said he's seen all types of things. He said he hasn't thought about it. JD said he'll wear a collard shirt. Robin asked who is going to get the photos in the divorce. JD said ''Thanks Robin.'' Howard said Beth wants to take pictures with him and all you see are his feet or the back of his head. He said he doesn't take pictures to put on the web.
Howard said that JD's wedding planning is going along. He said he hasn't put a deposit on the place. JD was grunting and groaning and saying everything is fine. Howard said he gave her $500 already. JD said there's nothing to talk about. Howard asked what the $500 enables them to do. JD said she can do stuff. He said they have her set and she'll help coordinate other things. Howard asked why everything is top secret. JD said part of it is that he doesn't know everything and he doesn't want to say the wrong thing.
Howard asked why he's so scared of this woman. JD said he doesn't want to talk about stuff he doesn't know or comprehend. Howard asked where he's going. He said he's not done with him. JD said he doesn't want to talk about this. Howard said they have 4 more hours to go. He said he has to take a break though. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard said everyone wants to talk about Trump. He said it's amazing. Howard said that guy Scaramucci is going to be more famous than Trump and Trump isn't going to like that. Robin said Sean Spicer was more his speed. Howard said he was never going to overtake him in the Charisma department.
Howard said he told Gary to get Steve Bannon in there so he can suck his own dick with Sal and Richard.
Howard said he was going to play something. Howard said this guy Scaramucci is very proud to be Italian like Sal is. Howard said he's very into the Italian thing. Howard had some audio of Scaramucci mentioning he's Italian a bunch of times. Howard said that reminds him of Sal.
Howard had Scaramucci on the phone. It was Sal and he lasted about a second once he called him a ''Jew cock sucker.'' Howard said there wasn't much Scaramucci in there. Howard said the wit was unbelievable. Howard had him call back.
Howard asked what's wrong with him. Sal was still doing the Jew material. Howard said Sal sucks. He hung up on him again. He said he's going to go back there and yell at him. He said it just sounded like Sal. He said he likes that he's doing an impression of an Italian but he sounds like himself. Howard said that bit could have been so good if he was just talking like himself and said his father invented pizza toppings and owned a ''pits-a-ria.''
Howard said this clip is June doing the Rocky voice. Howard said he did the Bullwinkle voice. Howard said she was so good. Howard said she played Natasha on Rocky and Bullwinkle too. Howard had her doing some of that voice too.
Howard said she was so great. He had some clips of her doing her work in a Bugs Bunny cartoon and some other stuff too. Howard said she was so good. Howard said he loved her the most because there was a Twilight Zone that freaked him out and it was called ''Talkie Tina'' and she played the voice of the doll. Howard said that show freaked him out. He said she was the voice of this talking doll. Howard played a clip from that show too. He said she played the voice of the real Chatty Cathy doll too.
Howard said he has some clips from the stuff she did on their show too. Howard had her doing Rocky and he was doing Bullwinkle. They had Rocky saying he was horny and wanted to get shtupped and stuff like that.
Howard said Jackie going wild in the back was the best part of the bit. Howard said his Bullwinkle was about as good as Sal's Scaramucci. Howard said he just sounded like himself in the bit at times.
Howard said they met Dick Butkus was in the bit and he played himself. He said he hesitated in reading his lines.
Howard said June Foray was a good sport until the studio put a stop to it. Howard said June was 99 years old. He went to break a short time later.
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Howard asked what Robin thinks. Robin said it's great. Howard said he has auditioned many people and Penn nailed that role. Howard said he sees a Tony in his future. Howard said he thought it was magic that was his thing but he nailed it. Howard said Teller was there and he did nothing. Howard said he told Penn he can't be in it.
Howard said better luck next time Stanley Tucci. He said Penn was better. Howard said Bradley Cooper wasn't able to make it work. Robin said she can't see him playing Roger Ailes. Howard said he auditioned Nathan Lane too. He said they thought he'd be great but it didn't work. Howard said Penn Jillette worked. Howard said he was better than Hugh Jackman who walked out crying. He said he had to be honest. Howard said they dug up Ethel Merman to play a part but that didn't work out either.
Howard said they took Evil Dave and had him call a Rabbi. Howard played the call and Evil Dave called the Rabbi asking if he can convert. The Rabbi said he's a fan. They had Dave joking with the guy and the guy was cracking up at his jokes. Dave said the Jews are ruining Hollywood. The Rabbi went along with the joke. Dave asked if he'll have to eat brisket and call black people ''Svartzas.'' The Rabbi laughed. Dave asked about Matzo bread and if he thinks God really cares if they eat crackers. They had Dave cracking the guy up. Dave said he has a foreskin as big as a circus tent. He then cut off his foreskin and said ''good night everybody!''
Howard said he would have hung up in 2 seconds. He said he must have thought that he was a good guy to convert. Howard said Letterman was on top of his game there. Howard said he loves that. He said that's one of his favorite phony phone calls.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's doing the wrong play. He said he should do one for CNN. Howard asked why. Howard told the guy to get the fuck out of here. He hung up on the guy.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why Gary sounds different in the booth now. Howard said Gary is in a booth, that's why. Howard asked what the fuck is wrong with people today. Howard said he's not in the studio. Robin said that guy sounded like no other caller. Howard said they could make Gary sound like he's' in the studio but then you wouldn't know he's in the other room. Howard asked if it's hard to change the settings. Gary said he can talk on the speaker and then on a microphone. Howard said it's like theater of the mind. Howard said give Gary the wireless. Howard had Gary talk on his squawk box and then on microphone. Gary sounded like he was in the studio. Howard said he likes it better on the squawk box. Howard said it sounds like he's in another room.
Robin heard something in Gary's throat so she pointed that out to Howard. Howard played a song parody where they had Gary clearing his throat to the tune of a song.
Howard said that Gary was going to go to a doctor to find out why he was so phlegmy. Gary said he did that. He said there was no diagnosis. He said he just is phlegmy. He said there's nothing he can do about it. Howard said that's the news. There is nothing he can do about it. Howard said Gary doesn't eat vegetables and that might be the issue. He said he drinks water but doesn't eat vegetables.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was trying to buy peanuts online at the Yankee game last week. He said he noticed everyone had a yarmulke on and they were all praying and swaying. He said there were like 30 there. Howard asked if they were Hassidim types. The caller said they weren't. He said they were swaying. Howard said there is some really intense prayer they do. He didn't know what it was. Howard said he loved those peanuts at the baseball games. The caller said that he was asked not to go in and break up this thing. Howard said he's not sure what he's talking about. He said maybe that was Sal.
Howard said they have these people saying that they use this stuff. Howard read through some of the comments.
Howard said the rest of his body might be a mess but he doesn't have a problem getting it up. Howard said they have a picture of them hugging in the ad. Howard said he might have a lawsuit there. Howard said that he might have to sue them.
Howard played another clip where they used his name in an ad for a pee leakage thing. Howard played a clip of them talking about him wrapping his penis in toilet paper.
Howard said he might buy that thing. He said if he says something that's true that's fine but this erectile dysfunction thing is not true. Fred said he thinks he can sue. He said it might be the violation of some rights. Howard said he's going with what Fred says. Robin said she has to go review the law like Fred. Howard said the irony is that he has a face like his and a perfect boner.
Howard said he imagines he might have to show the judge his boner in court. He said that would be awesome. Howard said he's trying to conjure up some kind of lawsuit for this company. Robin said they have probably layered themselves so they'll never be able to figure out who they are.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to say that the whole shitting issue with JD could be worse. He said in Afghanistan they had to burn their own shit. He said they had to pour diesel on it and burn it. He said shitting in a hole is a lot better than what he had to do. He said they had to shit in a bag and then throw it in a 55 gallon drum that someone had to burn later. He said that you put a lot of diesel in it and it burns. Howard asked if he was saying Basil. Robin said it was ''diesel.'' Howard said he didn't know what he was talking about.
Howard asked the caller where he shit. The caller said when you're with 150 other guys you shit in a bucket with a hole. He said then they burn it with diesel. Howard said they had to go into Afghanistan but that place is just a shithole. The caller agreed. He said they'd be glad to take shit to crop with. Howard said if he was in Afghanistan he'd learn English and move to the United States. Howard said they must be so defeated living there. Howard said burning your own shit is the most fun you can have there. Howard said life is hard enough but when you live there it has to be so hard. Howard said it must be like ''I can't believe I lived another day.'' Robin said life there must be like camping every day.
Howard asked if the caller got to kill anyone there. The caller said he did. Howard asked the guy what he does now. He said he's running a dozer now. He said he's in the union. Howard said he should feel good about killing those guys. The caller, Landon, said he did. He said that he did two tours of duty over there. Howard said he's a good man. Howard asked if he ever burns his own shit to remind himself of the good ol' days. Landon joked that he does sometimes. Howard said that's a real man right there. Howard let the guy go a short time later and then went to break.
Howard came back and said that Liam Gallagher is there. Howard said Liam is a very famous rock star. Howard said he's very lucky to be there with him. Howard said this is very good. He said he was just reading about Liam in the paper this morning. They carded him when he bought cigarettes. Howard said he's a good looking guy but he's not that young looking. Liam said he's not that big a smoker but they asked for ID. He said that he told him to look at the state of his head. He said he had to go back to the fucking hotel to get his ID. Howard asked if he carries ID with him. Liam said only Taliban carry ID.
Howard said he's a huge fan of Liam's. He said whenever he'd see him he'd see him smoking and it made him nuts. Howard asked if it has affected his voice. Liam said when he was younger he didn't care. He said he doesn't smoke during the day usually. He said he would have this morning but he wasn't able to get any. He said he doesn't want to sound like Alex Jones or Michael Buble either. Howard said John Mellencamp and Billy Joel smoke. He said he gets into an argument about it. Howard said it gives them a great lifestyle and they smoke. Howard said it seems like it destroys it. Liam said it's like an artist who paints but he scratches his ass and all of that.
Liam said he likes his voice to sound a bit rough. He said it has some character. Howard said Noel used to sing in Oasis but Liam is the voice of Oasis. Howard said he always was the singer. Howard said it was a weird move when his brother wanted to sing. Liam said he agrees with him and he should go back to the left. He said his brother isn't a front man. Liam said he's the front man. Howard said it looks weird when you have to walk off stage for a bit when you're the front man. Howard said it must have driven him nuts. Liam said it did.
Liam said once they were doing a massive gig and he came to him saying he was going to sing the first 4 songs and then he'd come out and sing the 5th song. He said you know how the night is going to go when you walk on stage. He said he thought he was mentally ill. Howard said that's almost like his brother was the opening act. Howard said the crowd goes fucking nuts for Liam. Liam said the best part is the beginning.
Howard said Pete Townshend wanted Roger Daltrey to sing because he had that front man thing going. Howard said that the most amazing story about Liam is that when he was a kid someone hit him on the head with a hammer. Liam said he didn't ask what the guy's name was. He said some lads came to his school and he was talking to his mates. He said he went to an all boy's school. He said he was about 15 at the time and he was smoking. He said this kid came down and whacked him. He said that he woke up and he had all of these stitches in his head. He said he got out of math because of that. He said after that he believed he was hearing music in his head. Howard said he finds this fascinating. Howard said Liam was the social guy and Noel wasn't. Liam said he thought music was for weirdos. Howard said Noel was off learning guitar and getting his shit together.
Howard said when he gets hit in the head he heard music. Liam said that he heard like Madonna's Like a Virgin and he thought that was some tune. He said he has to thank whoever that was who hit him. Howard said it unlocked something. He said it's 100 percent legitimate that it happened all of a sudden.
Howard asked Liam where he went to sing when he was a kid. Liam said his mates started a band and they got rid of their singer. He said he went down and he had the look they wanted. Howard asked if he feels self conscious being up on stage. Liam said he still does. Howard said he never danced on stage. Howard said he just stands there. Liam said he can barely walk. He said he can't dance. Howard asked if anyone in the band asked him to dance. Liam said if you tapped your foot in their band you were sacked. He said they didn't feel the need to jump around.
Howard said they had good songs so there was no reason to jump around. Liam said that Mick Jagger has good songs but he jumps around. He said he has to jump around. He said if he tries to jump around he'd get things thrown at him.
Howard asked if Liam has ever worked out in his mind his situation with his dad. Howard said they grew up poor. Liam said it was pretty bad but people had it worse. Howard said his dad beat up his mom and his mom, Peggy, seemed like a great woman. Howard said she had 3 boys and a husband who beat the shit out of her and then left her. Howard said growing up he must have thought it was too much to bear. Liam said she still lives in the same house and she won't leave. He said he asked her to leave but she won't do it. He said her feet are cemented in the ground.
Howard asked if his mom tries to get the boys back together. He said she's given up on that. Robin asked something and Liam asked who that is. Robin said she's just listening in. Liam said he thought that was his mum at first.
Howard said that Liam's brother Noel had no idea he could sing. He asked if he thinks that drives his brother crazy. Liam said he doesn't think he can sing all that well. He said he likes the screaming and shouting kind of thing. Howard said Noel knew he should sing the songs. Liam said he was born to do it.
Howard said the part of the story he hates is that when they got big then Daddy shows up. Liam said he showed up in Ireland. He said that he had some shit going down. Howard said that they got famous and had lots of money and his dad shows up with a reporter. Howard said he'd never get over that anger. Howard asked if he ever went to a psychiatrist. Liam said he has John Lennon for that. Howard said he wrote the song ''Mother'' about his mother abandoning him. Howard said he would be so angry with his father if he were Liam. He said Liam said he was going to beat the shit out of his dad. Liam said his dad wanted tickets to the show and he told him to get lost. Howard said Noel said he had to hold Liam back from beating the shit out of the guy.
Howard said he has to love Noel for doing that. Liam said he's good. He said his brother is a bit lost in the world right now. He said he sees him with his arm around celebrities now. Howard asked if he would ever go back to the band. Liam said he has to be brothers again. He said he'd like to take the band out for a little spin. He said it was the best thing ever.
Howard asked if he believes in fate. Howard said when they started out they had that live gig where the record company heard them. Howard said a girl band asked them to perform with them and the club owner almost didn't let them play. Howard said Alan McGee heard them and wanted to sign them right away. Howard asked if the Beatles are his inspiration. Liam said they are. Howard asked if Noel went too far saying they were better than the Beatles. Liam said he did. He said that people thought he said it but it was Noel. Howard said that was something.
Howard said what a nightmare. Howard said he thought it was a nightmare when they went out with the Black Crows but they loved it. Liam said Chris Robinson is a great dude. He said he has a great voice and his brother is a great guitar player. Howard asked if it drives him crazy that they don't get along. Liam said he doesn't want to get involved in that. Howard said he had Chris in there a couple of weeks ago and asked why he can't get back together. He said they just can't do it. Liam said it's a strange one isn't it? Howard said he's glad he doesn't have a brother.
Robin asked if they got along when they were younger. Liam said no. He said they shared a bedroom and his brother had just bought a record player. He said he was drunk and he wasn't able to find the light switch and he whipped it out and pissed on his new sound system. He said Noel was asking what the fuck he was doing. He said he was just having a piss. He said he thinks that's the grudge he's never let go of. He said it was either that or Noel's head.
Howard said he gets along with his older brother though, right? Liam said that they have their moments too. He said they are able to hang out and go out for coffee. He said his brother is a good moaner. He said that he doesn't do much of anything. He said he does a bit of DJ'ing. He said he comes out and does some shows with them. He said that he and Noel don't talk either. He said he once didn't clap at Noel's gig and he was out.
Howard said Noel was on the show once and did Wonderwall. Howard asked Liam to do that to show them how it's done. Howard asked how Liam met these guys he's playing with today. Liam said he met one at Automat. He said that he knew some of the other guys before. Howard said Liam is going to show them how to do Wonderwall. Liam said Noel probably did it like Dolly Parton. Howard had them do their thing. Liam and the guys performed ''Wonderwall'' after that.
After the song Howard said that's how it's done. Howard said his brother is probably listening now and angry. Liam said he's probably having a face peel with a bowl of tofu.
Howard asked if he still enjoys singing that song. Liam said he does. He said he likes doing it acoustic. He said that it's a bit too funky when you do it other ways.
Howard said when they made their first record the amazing story is that they didn't like the first take. Howard said the album kind of sucked. Liam said that he liked it but they sounded live. He said they sounded like Faces. He said they sounded kind of small. Howard said then they bring in a guy to change it. Howard said this guy, Owen Morris, came in and changed it. Liam said he thinks he just turned up the sound. Howard said someone said they could double the sound and not have any distortion. Liam said that's right. He said it would be louder than any other song on the juke box. He said that it blew everyone's head off in the pubs.
Howard said they put out the single ''Supersonic'' first before the album. Howard said the song took off. Howard said the album wasn't even out yet. Liam said he can't remember much about those days.
Howard said he wishes someone would hit him over the head with a hammer so he could write songs like this. Liam told Howard about how they came up with some of the song. Howard said Noel writes the song and then Liam had to own it. Howard said it had to be tough to do that. Liam said he knows how he sings so he just sings it once and he's in. Howard asked if he knew it was their ticket. Liam said he knew it was good.
Howard asked if drinking was a big part of being in the band. Liam said it still is. He said he was doing all of the partying before he was in the band. He said he was drinking way before. Howard asked if the drinking and drugs was bad for his relationship with Noel. Liam said the good times outweighed the bad. He said he thinks they just slogged each other off and they came full circle with all of that.
Howard asked if anyone ever tried to get him to stop drinking. Liam said he's tried. He said he has been sober for 6 months and it was boring. He said it felt too good. Robin said you don't want to be too clear headed. Liam said he was opening up doors for people and carrying groceries for old ladies. He said fuck that shit.
Howard asked if you have to be pissed off to be a rock star. Liam said it just comes with it. He said you have to get that shit out. Liam said that U2 aren't a rock and roll band. He said they've never done anything Rock and Roll in their life. He said that they might play those instruments but something has to fucking happen. He asked if they've ever broken a pencil or anything. He said they just take the big paycheck. Howard said he gets what he's saying.
Howard asked if trashing a hotel room is part of that. Liam said it is. He said that you have to get that out. Howard said they were a bunch of bad boys. Liam said you have to pass the baton on. Howard asked if there were women too. Liam said there were no women. Howard said it has to be so great to have women swooning over you. Liam said he's been chased by guys too.
Howard asked Liam about saying his favorite song from the first album is ''Live Forever.'' Howard said everything works in that song. He played some of it for him. Liam said it's like a swan going around a lake. Howard asked what it's like when thousands of people are singing along to their songs. Liam said it's biblical. He said that it's really beautiful. Howard asked if it's shocking when everyone sings along. Liam said even in different countries where they don't speak English they do it. He said that's really amazing. Howard said it is amazing that the girls in Japan are chasing them around like they're the Beatles. Liam said he had a bass player who hated it there and just wanted to go home. He said he was pissed that he wasn't able to get weed over there. Liam said he told him he could get it when they went home the next week.
Howard asked what it's like when you go to America and they're not known yet. Liam said that was crap.
Howard asked Liam about making their second album and who decides that the drummer isn't good enough. Liam said it was Noel. Howard asked if he was right. Liam said he thinks he was. He said they were getting more technical but not like Led Zeppelin. He said he may not have been able to play on their album. Howard asked if he was okay with that. Liam said he thinks they gave him some cracks at it but it wasn't happening. Howard said that guy came back years later and wanted a piece of the action. Howard asked how that got resolved. Liam said he thinks he won some money but he's not sure. He said he was off in his head somewhere. He said he thinks he got some money but he had to give them his royalties or something. He said now he has nothing. He said he fucked up with that.
Howard said that second album took off like a mother fucker. Howard said they had Wonderwall on that album. Howard played some clips from that album. Howard said that everything was just in line. Liam said that song was like two swans on a lake. Howard said it just all came out of him. Liam said he'd do 2 or 3 takes and he was done. He said Noel would go in there and take his Slash out. He said Noel was in there for 10 hours working while he was out drinking.
Howard asked if Noel was putting too much into it. Liam said he was. He said he loves the sound of his own fingers. Liam said if you can't do it in 3 takes then maybe you don't have it.
Howard played another song off the second album. That one was one that Noel sang. Howard asked what he'd do while that was going on. Liam said he'd go do a line or two. Howard asked if he was able to do that with the concert going on. Liam said he'd do it toward the end of the concert.
Howard asked Liam if his brother would lose the audience and he'd have to bring them back. Liam said of course. Howard asked if he ever thought about how he'd sing the song. Liam said he would sing with more passion. Howard played ''Champagne Supernova'' and said he has to get into a band and get hit over the head with a hammer. Liam said they can do it in Central Park. Liam said he went walking in the park last night and someone asked what the fuck he was looking at. He said he answered back ''Not you mother fucker.''
Howard asked what time of night it was. Liam said it wasn't super late. He said maybe 3 in the morning. Howard asked if he's out of his mind. Liam said maybe it was 2. Howard said that was Noel he ran into. Howard asked if he slept last night at all. Liam said he did. He said they did a gig yesterday and then got some sleep.
Howard said when MTV was big they were going to do an Unplugged and Liam got sick. Howard said Noel went and did it. Liam said he wasn't really sick. He said he was hung over. He said he heckled and booed him at the taping. Howard said he loves it all. He said he'd love to see a reunion. Howard said he's going to make it a mission to get them back together.
Howard said Liam has a new album coming out in October. Howard asked if he's excited about this. Liam said he's not curing cancer with it but he's excited. He said he did some co-writes and stuff on this album. He said he wrote some on his own too. He said that he did a few on his own and then did some co-writing. He said they wrote songs for 3 days so it was really quick. Howard asked if they were easy to get along with. Liam said they were.
Howard said this song they're going to do now is called ''Wall of Glass.'' Howard asked Liam if he has his brother in the back of his mind while he's doing this. Liam said his bother is out licking Bono's ass. Howard asked what he gets from that anyway. Liam said that he might get a few dollars out of that.
Howard asked Liam if he knows other famous singers that he hangs with. Liam said Bono is on another planet. He said he's not on his planet. He said he's walking the streets and Bono isn't doing that. He said they walked in the park last night. He said he licks his own fucking plate when he eats.
Howard asked if he knows Chris Cornell. Liam said he doesn't but he had a great voice. Howard said he was in there a bunch of times and he was great. Howard asked what's up with the depression. Liam said he doesn't know man. Howard asked if he got the looks in the family. Liam said he did. He said Howard has seen Noel.
Howard asked what his love life is like. Liam said he has a girlfriend named Debbie. He said she's hard core like him. He said she doesn't take any shit. Howard asked if a woman has to be kind of feisty like him. Liam said she does. He said they have a show they watch called Love Island. He said they only have one TV in the house. He said he doesn't have more because he's been divorced twice and they took the other TVs.
Howard asked Liam about going through all of his money and if he worries about that. Liam said as long as he can sing he can make a living.
Howard said Liam has a new album called ''As You Were'' and a girlfriend Howard said he bets she's hot as hell. Liam said she's fit too.
Howard asked Liam why he says his brother looks like a potato. Liam said that's just what he sees when he sees his brother. He said that he posts pictures of his brother and just writes ''Potato'' under them. Howard said he's so glad he doesn't have a brother. He said he and his sister get along just fine. Howard said she doesn't have any jealousy. He said it's kind of nice.
Howard said he saw Liam doing the concert for Manchester. He said that was something. Liam said it was nice to bring some smiles to people's faces. He said that his mom lives there too. Howard said he saw him sing with Chris Martin from Coldplay. Howard asked if he's alright. Liam said he is. He said Chris came on to him and he was very eager. Howard asked if these guys worship him a bit because he's done it all. Liam said he doesn't think so.
Howard said the guys are going to perform another song. He asked if they're going to tour. Liam said they are. Howard said you can find out more on LiamGallagher.com.
Howard had the guys perform their new song ''Wall of Glass.'' Howard asked what it was about but Liam said he wrote it and he doesn't even know. They went right into the song after that.
After the song Howard said Liam just ran out to go piss. Howard asked if he does that a lot. Howard said he liked that song a lot. Howard said he was going to ask if he's going to write a song called Potato about his brother. Howard asked if he's going to read a book about him where the guys say he's out of his mind. The guys said he's fine.
Howard asked the guys to bring in his girlfriend Debbie. Howard said Liam ran out to go pee. Robin said they've never had that happen before. Howard said he likes Debbie. Howard asked how he is to be in a relationship with. Debbie said that he's not ideal. Howard said he's okay. Howard asked what they fight about. Debbie said that he might get carried away on Twitter after having a drink. Howard asked if he shouldn't tweet about his brother. Debbie said that's not for her to say.
Liam was back and Howard said that was a great song. Howard said Liam is there to say he's going out on tour. He said he loves his attitude. He said when he has to go pee he goes pee. Liam said he had to go. Howard said he did a beautiful song.
Howard asked if Liam is a good dad. Liam said he doesn't hang out with other parents. He said his kids are 16 and 17 so they're out of school. Howard asked if it drove him nuts when parents would bother him. Liam said he had a guy ask him for a job once. He said he wanted to be a roadie or something. He said you don't just hand out those jobs to just any old banker.
Howard asked if it upsets him that the kids don't know their uncle. He said one of them went to Noel's concert. He said he won't even say hi to them. He said he's a strange cat. Howard said he saw the party he was at. Liam said that ''Bongo'' was there too.
Howard asked Liam if his brother died would he go to his funeral. Liam said of course. He said he loves his brother. He said they're just going through a dodgy batch at the moment. Howard said he came in and did a song. Liam said ''songs'' and reminded him that they did two. Howard said that's right. Howard said the album is coming out on October 6. Howard said they have a tour coming up too. Howard said they play their music there on Sirius all the time too. Howard said he's a mainstay there. Howard said he's fine with him since he didn't piss on his equipment. Howard said he thinks they'd be great in a band together. Howard said he would write all of the songs and tell him to go sit on the side of the stage. Howard thanked the guys for coming in and went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from a guy who said that interview was one of his best ever. He said he wishes that had gone on another hour and a half. He said he lived in England in the 90s and they were everything over here. Howard said they were so talented and good together that he wishes they were able to get together and work things out. Howard said what they had on stage was so great. Howard said it's fascinating. Robin said Howard would have to believe talking about it could somehow get them together. Robin said some people don't believe in the psychology part of the whole thing. Howard said he has all kinds of theories about that band. Howard said he thinks they are both angry with their dad and they take it out on each other.
Robin said they don't seem to be able to tolerate each other at all. Howard said they don't. He said he thinks there are people who could help them. Robin said it sounds like they each wanted the band to be something different.
Howard said he might be able to work things out. He said Liam asked him to do that and he's already been on the phone to Noel. Howard said they'll meet next week sometime. Howard said when Liam was leaving he went over to him and said he doesn't know him that well but don't go into Central Park at 3 in the morning. He said Liam thought they had worked all of that out. Howard said he could have gotten really fucked up out there.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were doing a Noel Gallagher impression. Howard spent a minute talking to fake Noel.
Robin started her news with a story about Europe's human rights court ruling that this woman who had a botched operation in Portugal will be getting the money she was seeking in a lawsuit. Robin said that they ruled that sex is important in a person's life and they ruled with a higher amount than a Portuguese court.
Howard said he hears someone singing. Howard said he's not sure where it's coming from. Robin asked what the song is. Howard said it was coming through loud and clear. Howard said someone is guilty. He said they got caught.
Robin read a story about sperm counts dropping in Western men. Robin read about the study that was done and said that sperm counts in North America, Europe and New Zealand are dropping. Robin said that maybe it's the environmental factors from electronics. Howard said he sits next to the radio equipment every day so he's sure that's doing something to his balls. Howard said he was tested for his testosterone levels and he was the highest there. Howard said you can see he's macho. Howard said other men he doesn't know about. Howard said some of the guys there are menstruating.
Robin read about the rise in ticks in the state. Howard said he told JD not to go camping because of ticks. Robin said that there is a tick meeting scheduled for August 29th. Robin said they say that they are tick central there in New York state. Robin said they say that you can get Lyme disease from a cat bite. Robin said if a cat was bitten and then you're bitten by a cat you can get that disease. Howard said they don't allow their cats out. He said if you let your cat outside then you don't love your cat.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks the way to get Oasis back together is to let both of them motorboat Robin's black titties. Howard said maybe that would work. He said maybe Robin could give all three brothers a threesome. Howard asked if Robin would do that. Robin said no. Robin said that wouldn't last. She said they'd find something else to argue about.
Robin read a story about Chris Christie insisting on going to baseball games and its not working out so well. Howard said people yell at him and call him names. Howard said its horrible to go to a baseball game. Robin said he was in Wisconsin and a Cubs fan yelled at him. Robin said he called him a hypocrite and some other names and Christie walked over to him and got in his face. Howard said he doesn't blame him for that. He said you can only take so much. Howard said Christie had a full plate of nachos in his hand and people were talking about that too.
Robin read a story about a naked passenger on Spirit Airlines. Robin said the passenger removed his clothing and then approached a flight attendant. Howard asked if it was a dude. Robin said it was. Robin said the guy needed medical attention but they don't say what for. Howard said he's sure it was a rational reason. Howard said getting on a plane is so difficult. Howard said then you have some asshole getting naked.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had no idea what Liam Gallagher was saying during that interview. Howard said they have some intense accents. He said he saw a documentary about them and they had subtitles under them. He said they are speaking English but that accent is very strong. Howard said he has had practice hearing JD speak. Howard said if he can interpret him he can interpret anyone. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how there is going to be music on MTV. Robin said they're bringing back Total Request Live in October. Robin said they haven't had music on the channel for a long time. Howard asked if Gary can audition to be a VJ again. Howard did his impression of Gary's audition. Howard said someone at MTV had a great idea to have Gary audition. He said he had the worst audition. He had Gary mispronouncing ''bustier.'' Howard said Gary also told Dweezil Zappa to back off of Justine Bateman because she was his. Howard did an impression of that too. Howard had the real clip so he played the audition. Howard was picking it apart because Gary wasn't making sense. Howard said nothing says cool like Gary's audition for MTV. He was doing the impression telling Dweezil to get back even though he had just said Dweezil is into Madonna.
Howard said they didn't call Gary about his audition. He said he had to call them. Howard said they had to call MTV and ask for the audition tape. Howard said Gary has trouble with the word ''bra'' too. Howard played more of the audition and goofed on Gary a little more.
Howard said he told Gary not to go in and read in the audition. He said he should have gone in and shaved his head. He said he gave him good advice. He said Gary wanted to be a star. He always had that in the back of his mind. Howard had the clip of Gary saying ''Boot-see-ay'' instead of bustier. Howard said he should have pre-read that shit. Robin was cracking up. Howard said maybe they were trying to trip him up like they do on the SATs. Howard and Robin were both cracking up. Howard said here is no worse audition. He said he dares anyone to come up with a worse one. Gary asked about Stuttering John's Tonight Show tape. Howard said John got the job so he's got him beat there.
Howard played more of Gary's audition tape and said those teeth are fighting with those gums. Howard said that's the worst audition ever. He said they must have been laughing. He said they must have laughed at him for hiring that guy. Howard wondered how Gary didn't know it wasn't going well. Gary said he knew it wasn't going well. Howard said he should have said ''fuck this.'' Howard said he's not sure how he thought he'd be a full time VJ. Gary said it was like 45 minutes of work a day. Howard said Gary thinks he can do it for just 45 minutes and read like that. Howard said he'd be there all day trying to make it sound good. Howard said Gary should have just concentrated on his job. He said he shouldn't be a VJ.
Howard played more of the audition tape. Gary made a joke about not making a drug reference with Jefferson Airplane flying high. Howard said he just yelled at himself over that. Howard played more of the audition and kept goofing on Gary. He said Gary should have gotten naked and run around the room. He said it's like the words are a complete surprise to him. Gary said he did pre-read the stuff. Howard said he should have shit on the floor and then flung his shit. He said he would have gotten the job. Howard said he thinks this is the worst audition. Gary wasn't arguing about that. Howard said enough with Gary, leave him alone.
Robin read more about the Total Request Live show and how Carson Daly won't be coming back. Howard said of course not. He said that guy is so busy he just quit his morning radio show. Howard said the guy has so many shows he wasn't getting to see his kids. Howard asked Gary if he would audition again. Gary said he doesn't think they want him. Howard said he wishes he would so he could get tape of him doing it.
Robin read a story about Billy Joel performing in Minneapolis and he was joined on stage by Axl Rose. Howard said he saw that. Robin had some audio of Axl singing with Billy. Howard said he's seen that happen with Billy at a show. He said people will just show up and go out and perform.
Robin said Brian Johnson is recovering after a crash at Silverstone in England. Robin said Brian rolled the vehicle. Robin said reports say he was not seriously injured in the crash. Howard said he should have his mother asking him what's wrong with him racing cars like that. He did an impression of his mom and dad talking to Brian about how ridiculous that racing stuff is. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a couple who committed suicide together on Friday. Robin said they left a note saying they had a great life and financial pressures were making it impossible to deal with. Robin said they decided to jump together off of some tall building. Howard said he would never do that. Howard said that's the last thing he would do. He said he worst way is to light yourself on fire. Howard said you have to have thoughts as you're flying through the air. He said it has to hurt when you hit the ground. Robin said she thinks you protect yourself and you don't feel it. Robin said she thinks your brain checks out. Howard said he imagines his knees going through his brains. He said even hanging yourself has to be awful. Howard said he'd take pills or turn the car on. Robin said they left two kids behind. Robin asked how you do that. Howard said he was worried Gary would do that after that MTV audition. Howard said Gary is fine though.
Howard said you'd think one of them would stop from killing themselves. Robin said they're real partners. Howard said if he did that with Beth she'd be like ''Fuck you.'' Howard said he's sure JD would jump though. He said he's going camping with his fiancee. Howard said she rules the roost if she got him to go camping. JD said going camping and committing suicide are two different things. JD said he puts his foot down sometimes. He said she goes and does stuff on her own.
Howard said King of All Blacks thinks JD should tell his fiancee that he doesn't want to go. JD said she knows that already. Howard took the call and King said that they have a bad relationship if he's going and she knows he doesn't want to go. JD said she wants him to go out and try new experiences. King said that's fucked up. Howard said he kind of gets King's point. King said she's going to lose respect for him after a while. Howard said he's not doing everything. King said it's disrespectful of her to make him go where he doesn't want to go. JD said he's not in this. King said he's sure if JD asked her to do something she doesn't want to do then she wouldn't do it. Howard said he's sure she wouldn't do it. Howard asked JD what he wants to do that she doesn't. JD said he doesn't want to do anything. Robin said she's dragging him out camping. JD said goodbye. Howard said they're trying to help. JD said they're not helping him. King said he hopes he's not the kind of guy who says ''Happy wife, happy life.'' Howard let King go and did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how Glamping is coming to Queens next month. Robin said that they have some space in the area that will have tents and beds in the tents. Howard said that's his kind of camping. Robin said that it begins in mid-august and goes through September.
Robin read a story about how talking to yourself about yourself is a good way to relieve stress. Howard said he does that all the time. Howard said he has conversations with himself about all kinds of things. Howard said you can walk in and hear himself talking. Robin read about a study that was done about this. Howard said sometimes he's a different character when he's talking to himself. He said he might be a character in a movie that he was asked to do. Howard said he might play a detective or something. He said he just does his part. He said he'll do a monologue.
Robin read a story about how they have a new White House Chief of Staff. Robin said John Kelly is in and Reince Priebus is out. Howard said no one has that name. He said that guy's career is over. Howard said he's a joke. They spent a minute talking about this Kelly guy and how he won't let any shit go on around him. Howard said he's not sure what's going on over there.
Robin read a story about North Korea launching another missile test. Robin said we launched our own as well. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on that.
Robin read about how the 2020 presidential race is beginning already. Robin had some audio of a democrat who is already starting. Howard said it's little early to start. Robin said people were asking Bernie Sanders what he's thinking. Robin had some audio of Bernie talking about how the elections are never ending.
Robin read a story about how there are fewer TVs in American homes now. Robin said they say that there is an average of 2.3 per household now and that's a .3 decrease. Howard said Liam Gallagher had 2.3 but he lost two in his divorces. Howard said now he has to argue about what to watch with his girlfriend.
Howard said Jon Hein has not reduced his TV watching. He said he's watching just as much as always. Howard said he has a tuchas to prove it.
Robin read a story about how marijuana growers are growing too much pot in California. Robin said they're growing 8 times as much as is being sold. Howard said they can't sell it in other states. Robin said it's not legal everywhere. Howard said it's so crazy.
Robin read a story about a lesbian couple who got married and now a minister has thrown her out of the congregation. Howard said he hates to break it to you but less and less people are buying into your bullshit. He said you have to be open to anyone who will join. Howard said just be happy someone buys into it. He said he'd accept anyone who came to his church. Howard said it's really hard to find people who believe in all of this.
Robin read a story about MSNBC being the top cable network last week. Robin said this is the first time in 20 years it has had the number 1 audience. Howard said he watches MSNBC daily now. Howard said when Obama was president it was more fun to watch FOX News because it was more entertaining. Howard said that's why this is working now. Robin said Rachel Maddow has beat out the top shows on FOX. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the number 1 movie at the box office being Dunkirk and then the Emoji Movie.
Robin read about how Harry Styles has the most beautiful eyes in the world according to a study that was done by a plastic surgery place in England. Robin said George Clooney was said to be the most attractive overall. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Howard started the show playing a fake Joan Rivers announcement about who they had coming up. They have Jeremy Renner coming in. Howard said that guy is a good actor. Robin said she's glad Joan is still interested in what's going on with their show. Howard said she always did. Howard said Robin recommended that she become the announcer on the show. Robin said she's doing a fine job.
Howard said Jeremy Renner is in a new movie he just saw that's really good. Howard said he's an interesting dude. Howard said he has an IQ of 170 something. He said he thinks if you have an IQ of something like that then you owe it to the world to become a scientist or a mathematician or something. Howard said his fantasy is to have a high IQ. Howard said that's the real super power. He said he has friends like Robin who have high IQs. He said he has another friend named Lou who has a high IQ and he remembers how easily he absorbed concepts. He said his math was child's play for him. He said he has no idea what that's like. He said he'd ask him questions and Lou would tell him how to do it and he didn't have that ability to follow. Howard said he needed another idiot to explain things to him.
Howard said Gary tells him he over explains things. He said he has to bring Gary down to his level. He said Gary's IQ is high and he gets things. He said Gary has big teeth and a big brain. He said one of the smartest animals is the beaver. He said they have a high IQ.
Howard said he felt bad about Gary yesterday after the show. He said he was hard on him about the MTV audition. He said he gets a kick out of it but he thought he might have bummed him out. Gary said he can take the harassing but the tape is older than some of the people who work there and Howard was as angry as he was the first time he played it.
Howard said his therapist is on vacation and he hasn't seen him in a while. He said he gets cuckoo from that. He said he can blame that guy instead of him. Howard said Gary should apologize for setting him off with that tape.
Gary said he saw the guy who gave Howard that tape in the hall and he yelled at him. He said it was Steve Leeds. Howard said that's right. He was the one who passed it along to the show.
Howard said tomorrow is the 13th anniversary of Richard Christy joining the show. Howard played a promo for the anniversary.
Howard said Gary's audition for MTV was 30 years ago. He said Richard has been there for 13. He said there's a lot of longevity there.
Howard said they should play the call they made to a talk show using Gary's audition tape. Howard played the call the guys made using cut up bits of that audition and other clips to have Gary auditioning for an internet radio show. The hosts of the show sounded shocked by what they had Gary saying.
Howard said that's some broadcasting there. He said they wanted to see him succeed like they are. Howard goofed on one of the host's grammar.
Howard said that 15 years ago JD weighed 150 pounds. He said tomorrow he'll do a retrospective of Richard's career on the show. Howard said they did a lot of male nudity on the show and he brought that to the show. Howard said he has a teaser because Richard used to send in song parodies about KC Armstrong. The songs were all gay stuff. He said that led to him doing gay hijinks on the show. Howard said he thinks Richard started the gay chicken on the show. Howard said there are some signs about Richard.
Howard played a clip of Erik's friends trying to take away his soda and Erik is freaking out on them. They were saying they care about him but Erik was freaking out and telling them to put it back. Howard said it's like snatching food from an animal. He said he grabbed one of the girls and climbed the side of the building and had airplanes shooting at him.
Howard said this went on for 45 minutes. He said this is the end of it. Howard played a clip of Erik saying that the soda relaxes him. The friends were trying to take it but he said he wants another case. Robin asked how he gets it in there. Howard said it's like Frankenstein yelling at the villagers.
Howard said just when he thinks Erik is his favorite then Shuli does an interview with Underdog Lady. Howard said they first met her 25 years ago when she was on the channel 9 show. Howard said she dressed up like Underdog and she freaked out on the show. Howard said he didn't know he'd freak her out that much but he did. Howard said she marches in about a dozen parades a year and she's always in character. He said she dresses up like Underdog, Vlad the Impaler, Cat woman and more. Howard said she makes all of her own costumes.
Howard said in this clip Underdog talks about dressing up as Sunny Suzie the Mermaid. Howard said it's a long yellow dress like a Disney Princess would wear. She has a cape and it was the 24th year of her appearing in this parade. Howard said she's been dressing up like this for 24 years. Howard said Shuli helped her out with this.
Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to Underdog Lady about her costume and trying to get her to be part of a duet. She said she prefers to be solo. Underdog said he can march behind her in the parade. Howard said he could listen to this all day long. He said it's negotiations over nothing.
Howard said she was afraid that Shuli was going to steal her spotlight. Howard said this character is something she created.
Shuli came in and said she was afraid of him stealing the spotlight. He said she's not involved with any of the marchers. She's a parade of one. Howard said she puts a lot of energy into this. She creates the costume and marches all by herself. Shuli said this is the most productive thing she can do.
Shuli said they went together to the Coney Island Parade. He said she freaks out about not having lunch. Howard played a clip of Underdog getting upset and crying over all of that. Shuli said they can go try to get into the parade and she can have her lunch. She said she can't share it with him. She only made it for herself.
Robin asked if she wore the costume. Shuli said she was wearing it. He said she wore it on the train. She said they were looking at her on the train like ''What the fuck is wrong with her?'' Howard asked what she had for lunch. Shuli said she had a shitty Arby's sandwich she could have eaten at any time. Howard said he freaks out like that with his lunch too.
Howard said Shuli was dressed up like a pirate. Shuli said he went to get this pirate costume that was too big for him. Howard played another clip where Underdog talked to Shuli about the costume and explained that he'd need a fish net to catch her. Robin said listen to her. Shuli said she's all over this.
Howard said Underdog does like Shuli. Howard said she was very strict about how close he could be to her. Howard said she kept scolding him about how close he was getting. Howard said he's Shuli the pirate getting too close. Howard played some audio of her scolding Shuli about how close he was. Shuli said they were near drummers who kept playing the same thing over and over through the whole parade.
Shuli said he's used to being in front of people doing stand up but he felt so uncomfortable doing this. He said she was waving to everyone like she was the only one in the parade. Howard said she has rules about distance and the secret service has less rules about protecting the President.
Howard said Underdog is so shy but then she wants the spotlight when she's in the parade. Robin said that's because she's not herself. She's her characters.
Howard said the Coney Island parade is about other things and she hates those aspects. She didn't like that they have women marching topless. Underdog said they have to have a dress code. She said she's written letters to them over that. Shuli said if you're not showing your tits then you're not the normal one there.
Howard asked if there are naked guys too. Shuli said there were naked guys. He said he asked her about that she wasn't happy about that either.
Howard played a clip of Shuli asking Underdog what she would do if she won the lottery. Underdog said she would use the money to secure a resting place when she reaches the end. Shuli said that's some party. Howard said she's more depressed than Scott the Engineer. He said that's the darkest thing he's ever heard.
Howard played another clip of Shuli asking Underdog to make him a costume. She said that would be hard. She said that she'd have to work on him many times. Howard asked if she wants to be buried near her parents. Shuli said she does. Shuli said every story she's told about her upbringing was terrible. He said they used to make her draw a map of the neighborhood to map out where she was going to go trick or treating. Howard said they should have her frozen in Carbonite like Han Solo. Howard said they could put her on display.
Howard said Shuli asked Underdog if she would go to a Howard Stern parade. Underdog said the other entries would have to be family friendly. Shuli said this parade isn't family friendly. Underdog said that she's embarrassed by this parade at times. Howard said he's not sure why he has to have a family friendly parade. Howard wondered if she ever flogs herself. He said it's like that guy on Boardwalk Empire.
Howard said Shuli asked Underdog about her yellow costume but when she was talking about that she got distracted by a Mr. Softee ice cream truck. Shuli said she doesn't have pockets so she sews a wallet thing inside the costume. He said she was trying to get her money out for like 5 minutes. Howard said she sounded almost happy when she heard the ice cream truck.
Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to Underdog about her favorite ice cream flavor. Shuli guessed chocolate and he was right. She said she doesn't like stuff like cookies and cream in her ice cream because she likes it to be smooth. Shuli said she reminds him of Tiny Tim and the things he would tell Howard.
Howard played a clip of Underdog complaining about people who yell out Howard Stern and Baba Booey to her. She said that she thinks that fans who harass her will be punished at some point when they go to hell. She said if they do enough bad things and don't confess them then they'll go to hell.
Howard said religion has done another great job on her. Howard wondered how the confession would go when you confess you yelled out Baba Booey to Underdog woman.
Howard played another clip of Underdog explaining hell to Shuli. She was saying that there are different levels of hell. She told Shuli about where those people who harass her would be going.
Howard said they asked Scott the Engineer to describe his day. He played the clip and Scott talked about getting to his parking garage and they had raised the rate. He found another garage that was a few blocks away and now his commute is 11 minutes longer. It was raining and his umbrella got blown away. He went home after work and his mower didn't start. He walked into his house and found a heaping stack of bills. He said he'll pay them when he's ready.
Howard said that was Scott's best day. He said the rate at the garage was raised by a dollar a day. Howard said that's a whole 5 dollars a week. Howard said every word of that is true. Howard said they told Scott to go in and describe it. Howard played a song parody Scott sang. It was ''Don't Celebrate Good Times, Ever.''
Shuli said Scott brought up doing a show with him where he stands on the side of the stage vaping. Howard said he wants to get paid for doing that while he vapes. Howard said that's great. Shuli said it wouldn't ruin his timing or anything.
Howard played another song Scott sang. Howard said he doesn't believe he had the nerve to pitch him that idea. He said Shuli is going to do comedy and Scott will stand there vaping. Shuli said there is a part of him that wants to see that train wreck. Howard said Scott will yell at him if he doesn't get equal pay. The guys all did impressions of Scott complaining about splitting the money 50/50.
Howard played another song that Scott did. They had him singing in his monotone voice. Howard and the guys were still doing their impressions of Scott. Shuli said he always felt great about himself after touring on the road with Scott. Howard said of course he did. Howard and Fred were still doing their impressions of Scott. Howard had Scott telling Shuli about his vaping idea and what he would do on tour with him. He would want to split the money with Shuli even though he'd just be standing on the side of the stage doing nothing while Shuli was doing all of the work.
Howard asked if Scott was charging money for back stage visits. Shuli said they did meet and greets and Scott would eat during those. He said people would want to take pictures and he had food on his hands when he took them. Howard had Scott talking about how he'd be vaping during the whole show and he'd do zero work. Howard said the only thing he would say is asking people if they wanted any merchandise at the end of the show. Robin had Scott asking for leg room on the airplane. Howard had Scott telling people to fuck off after the show.
Howard played some audio of Scott telling their engineer Evan to ''take it easy'' when he was rushing to get a job done in the studio. Howard and the guys were still doing their Scott impressions and goofing on him.
Howard said they shame you by making you take it all back to everyone. Howard asked if she would do that again if she was going to marry again. Cayla said no way.
Howard asked if there were any bad elements with the guy. Cayla said there weren't. She said she was living with the guy and everything was fine. She said she just got cold feet. She said he left her this past weekend. She said it was awful when she broke the news to him. Howard asked if she is hot. Cayla said she would like to think so. Howard asked if guys come on to her constantly. She said she hasn't had a problem with that.
Howard asked who she looks like. Cayla said no one has ever told her she looks like a celebrity or anything. Howard asked if she wears a bikini when she goes to the beach. Cayla said she does. Howard asked how long she was with this guy. She said since she was 19 and she's 25 now. Howard said 25 is too young to get married. Cayla said she never got to be herself because she was with a guy since she was 19.
Howard said he had long stretches of time when he was single. He asked if it was a turn off that her fiancee was going to work for the family business. Cayla said not really. She said they weren't working together. She said they were away from each other. Howard said this guy will probably lose his job too. Cayla said he's welcome to stay but he's not going to stick around. She said it's terrible. Howard said he lost his job and his fiancee. Howard said this is bad. He said it's worse than Scott's day.
Howard asked if the guy had a big cock. Cayla said he was well endowed. Howard asked if it was hard to get in. Cayla said no. She said they were fine. She said she didn't need any help in that situation. Shuli asked if they ever did anal. Howard told him to let him handle this. Howard asked her if she ever did anal. Howard said he hates anal. He said he doesn't want to do it. Howard said he thinks guys who have to do it are secretly gay. Howard said he knew a guy who was into anal on the first date or the first time they had sex. Shuli said those guys are strange. He said it's not hot at all. Cayla said it's the worst.
Howard said it's some sort of humiliation tactic. Howard said it's fucking someone in the ass. Robin said he's reading a lot into it.
Howard said Cayla sounds like a catch. He said they may have to do a dating game with her. Cayla said she is moving back to Connecticut so she'll be close.
Howard said Scott just passed him a note telling him to ask if she vapes. She said she doesn't do that. She's not looking to get popcorn lung. Howard asked Cayla if she uses sex toys. Cayla said she never needed to. She said she's not against them. Howard asked if she needs a lot of foreplay. Cayla said not always. She said she doesn't need hours of that. She said maybe 10-15 minutes of that. Howard asked if he has to do butterfly kisses on her breasts. Cayla said she doesn't need all of that.
Cayla asked about the dating game thing. Howard wondered what she looks like. She said she can't think of who she looks like. Shuli told her to send a picture. She said she's driving right now so she can't do that. Howard asked what kind of driver she is. Howard said she should know how to text and drive at the same time. Howard told her to pull over and take a selfie to send. She said she might be able to do that soon. She said she's stuck in traffic right now.
Howard thanked Cayla for the call. Howard wished her luck. Howard said he's proud of her for calling it off with those feelings. Howard said it's good to do that now and not divorce later. Cayla said that her family has been supportive of that. She said that her mom said she could have done it the day before if she wanted. Howard asked if she has had regrets before. Cayla said she did. She said she's moving and trying to be positive. She said it's not easy but she's going to try.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was going to call in about the dating game but this woman destroyed this man's life. Howard said it could have happened later when they had kids or something. Shuli said he'll get over it. Howard said he must have been good looking. Shuli said once he feels a new vagina he'll be fine.
Howard asked Cayla if she thinks about her boyfriend when she masturbates. She said she does think about him. She said those feelings aren't gone. She said they weren't fighting or anything. She said it was a very mature thing. She said it wasn't a horrible thing. She said she wasn't cheating on him or anything. She said this was for her to be herself. Howard wondered how long it'll be before she goes to a bar and just fucks someone. Cayla said it won't be any time soon. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard said he agrees with what she did. Howard said most people would just go through with it and end up divorced later. Howard said she did herself and the guy a favor. Howard said it's fine.
Howard said everyone is all uptight. Howard said it's 3 months before the wedding and she did it at the right time. Howard said he better take a break. He went right after that.
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Howard said that some of the smartest guys in the world are afraid of artificial intelligence. Howard said you have to nip that shit in the bud. He said we have enough problems. Howard said by the time any of that stuff happens he'll be dead anyway though.
Howard said he has a new phony phone call to play. He said they called the Angry Political Guy as British Angry Political Guy. Howard played the call and Angry Political Guy took a call from British Angry Political Guy. They had the British Angry Political Guy talking to Angry Political Guy about the trolls and all of that crazy stuff the Angry Political Guy always talks about. Angry Political Guy ended up yelling at the British Angry Political Guy and hung up on him.
Howard had fake Angry Political Guy on the phone and talked to him for a short time. Howard said that British guy fucked him up good. Angry Political Guy was calling Howard a fucking Jew and made fun of his looks saying he looks like a rake fucked a head of broccoli. Howard did a live commercial read after that. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said Jeff the Drunk is on the phone waiting for an ambulance to take him to the hospital. Howard picked up and Jeff said he's waiting for a taxi. He said he's going to the hospital. Howard asked if he thinks this is it. Jeff said no. Howard said he worries about him with that hacking cough. Howard said he had a growth removed from his mouth on Friday. Jeff said he's sure it's just something that grew when he split his lip. He said that they just removed it.
Howard asked why he's going to the hospital. Jeff said he went to Kentucky and he's been feeling tired and sluggish since that trip. He said his voice is extra slow. Howard said he is talking really slow. Robin asked what happened down there. Jeff said nothing.
Howard said even The Lump is concerned. Howard asked if he dies if Jeff dies. The Lump said they'll find out. He said that Jeff is feeling a little under the weather. He was talking slow like Jeff was.
Howard wanted to talk to Jeff seriously. He asked Robin if Jeff is having a heart attack or something. Robin said it doesn't sound that way. Robin said he's just tired. Robin said his speech isn't slurred. Robin said this is his normal slur. Howard asked if he's drinking or smoking weed. Jeff said no. He said he specifically didn't. Howard asked if he's going to the doctor or the hospital. Jeff said he's going to the E.R.
Howard asked if Jeff has any final words just in case this is it. Jeff said ''arrivederci.'' Howard asked Jeff why he called a taxi instead of an ambulance. Jeff said it's less intrusive. He said he's not going to take up all of that time. Howard asked him for one of those ''chh, chh'' clicks for them just in case this is the last time. Jeff did it.
Robin asked if this happened after the trip or before he came home. Jeff said he thinks it was something he ate. He said it started on his last day there. Howard said he's sure he was the perfect house guest. Jeff said he's staying in his own place.
Shuli said this is his second time going to Kentucky. He said he has a fan out there who he's hung out with in the past. He said they flew him out there. Howard said he'd be frightened out of his mind. Howard said the whole thing sounds like a bad accident waiting to happen.
Howard said he has an ambulance driver on the phone. The driver said he's on his way but he's stopping to pick up his dry cleaning and some lunch first. He said he has a bunch of things on his errand list. Jeff asked for a milkshake. Howard let the fake driver go a short time later.
Shuli asked if Jeff has to stop somewhere on his way to the hospital. Jeff said they'll be there in a half hour. Robin said he has no reason to be tired so he should get it checked out.
Shuli said the thing in his mouth is freaking him out. He said he's waiting for the results of that. Howard said he smokes like fiend and he doesn't exercise. Howard said he's smoking so much weed his lungs are wheezing and all of that. Howard said of course he has that stuff. Shuli said he smokes and the smoke goes in his eyes when he does smoke. Shuli said he's not stopping smoking.
Howard asked who is going to get his trailer and all of that stuff. Jeff said he doesn't have a will. Howard said he thinks they'll just bulldoze it. Howard asked if someone is going to inherit his assets. Jeff said he doesn't think anyone will. Howard asked if he rents the land the trailer is on. Jeff said he does.
Howard asked who gets his Xbox. Jeff said first come first serve. Shuli said there's something going on. He said he has had a stroke in the past. He said he's not sure but it's not good. Howard said he doesn't want to lose him. He said he's lost a lot of Wack Packers.
Jeff wanted to know what they were going to do with him. Howard said he doesn't remember. He said they had some bit they wanted to do but he doesn't remember what it was. Jeff said he does know. Howard said he doesn't remember. Howard said Jeff should stop worrying about that and get to the hospital. Howard said he honestly doesn't remember what it was. Howard said if he did tell him then he'd hold him to it. Gary said he has it but it's not fully formulated yet. Howard said Jeff has to live first. Jeff said alright. Howard told him to go take care of himself. Jeff said alright again. Howard let him go and played a song parody about him.
Howard played the voicemail from Pete where he said he's still there and still talented but they won't take his calls. He said that the real talent is still there. Howard said he has a pretty high opinion of himself. Howard said he's not even calling. Howard said Philadelphia Phil is the one who is banned.
Howard played another call from Pete where he said he must be banned. He said he's been a 20 year caller so he's not sure what happened. He said it's obvious that it's not going to change. He said he's not going to say ''Fuck Howard'' or anything like that. He said that he has given him an opportunity to do the show and he's thankful that Howard gets to hear this. He said he built the platform and he took advantage of it. Howard said he loves that Robin doesn't even remember who he is.
Howard said that they've actually had 10 meetings about whether to ban Pete or not. Howard said he really hasn't banned him and if he did call he might pick up eventually. Howard said they can't get to everyone every day. Howard said he's not banned. Howard said he hopes that's a good explanation.
Howard said earlier this year Pete wrote on Twitter that fans miss his calls. Howard said Pete wrote that himself. Robin said she doesn't remember his calls but he remembers his voice. Howard said he wasn't pining away for those calls. Robin said she can remember Bobo calls and Jeff calls but not Pete calls. Howard said he doesn't remember them either. Howard said he has to take a break and then get Jeremy Renner in there. Howard said he's a good actor. Robin said he seems to have burst onto the scene out of nowhere. Howard said he was hanging out in Hollywood trying to get arrested. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard came back and said he has Jeremy Renner there. He said Jeremy is a 2 time Oscar nominee. Howard said that's him. He said he's a big movie star. Howard said it looks like him. Howard said it's weird when you see someone in a movie and they're there. Howard said that he was a two time Oscar nominee. Howard asked who would have believed it. Jeremy said not him. Howard said that there are a few guys who can get that. He said he was no overnight success. Jeremy said he was knocking around for like 20 years. He said he was still the new guy in town after 20 years.
Howard said he thought he was the shoe in for The Hurt Locker. Jeremy said he thought just being recognized by his peers was enough. He said that was an amazing experience. Howard asked if he's competitive that way. Jeremy said not at all. He said you can't compete in artistry that way.
Howard asked if anyone from the studio came to him asking him to campaign for it at all. Jeremy said the movie became more about the soldier and civilian life. He said he was at a lot of military bases and movie theaters. He said it was a year and a half of going to screenings. He said he only saw it once but the ending 5 minutes about 800 times. He said he'd have a beer and dinner and then walk in at the end of the movie. He said it got him in the mode of being emotional and mentally prepared to talk about it.
Howard asked if he knew it was an important movie when he was shooting it. Jeremy said he thought they had a mini series there. He said that they got it all together. He said Katherine was amazing with that. He said they had a big, wide set and he'd be left alone to do his job.
Howard said he was the lead role in a Jeffrey Dahmer movie. Howard said that was a weird ass movie to work on but Katherine saw him in it and had to get him for Hurt Locker. Howard said that must be weird. Howard asked how he got into the head space of Jeffrey Dahmer. Jeremy said that was around 2001 or so and they shot it in 2 weeks for like $50,000. He said he didn't know who Dahmer was so he had to do some research. Howard said the guy ate people. He said that had to be weird. Jeremy said it was a weird head space. Howard asked if he had to audition for that. Jeremy said he did.
Howard said he read that he auditioned for a public service announcement and tore the room apart. He got thrown out for that. Jeremy laughed. He said he did. He said he felt pretty good with that audition. Howard said he destroys the room and then he gets thrown out. Howard said that's unbelievable.
Howard asked why he hates auditioning so much. He said there has to be a different way to do it. Jeremy said they often do material that isn't practical for that setting. He said if you're in a war scene how do you do that? He said it's a weird process. He said it's tough to be authentic. He said the material is quite weak often.
Howard said he did that movie with Ben Affleck and he had to put on that Boston accent. Jeremy said he was in Charlestown and he went out to meet people who had that accent. He said he was hooked up with people who were in prison and stuff. Howard said maybe acting is getting out of hand. Jeremy said they were all nice guys and they gave him what he needed. He said there were a few guys he worked with and he got the accent. Howard said there was a review that said his accent was better than Ben's and Ben grew up there.
Howard said you can get bagged if you don't do a good accent. Jeremy said you can get pulled out of the movie. Howard said he'd be like ''Pahk ya cahh.''
Howard said that Jeremy got recognized by people on the street after doing the Dahmer movie. Howard said they thought he was the guy. Jeremy said it was a small movie but he got stalkers from it. Howard said there was some guy hanging around his house and he stole his cat. Jeremy said it only played in one theater in Los Angeles and this guy would pop up all over. He said they kept running into each other and the guy wanted to go for a drink. He said no. He said that he was walking around the neighborhood and the guy stole his cat and ran off. Howard said he must have loved that cat. Jeremy said he didn't do anything and he hasn't heard from the guy since. Howard said he must have been freaked out by that. Howard said that's creepy. Howard asked if he got a gun to protect himself. Jeremy said he's not afraid of those type of things.
Howard asked if it's true he has a 175 IQ. Jeremy said it's like 170-ish. Howard said he grew up with his parents living on the same street but not in the same house. Howard said when you see the world in a 170 IQ it has to be easy. He said that he knows people like that who things just come easy to. Jeremy said he was an observer and he just watched. He said he was learning by doing and not reading books because books weren't his thing. Howard asked if math comes easy for him. Jeremy said it does. Robin said he just knew the answers to those questions about trains going somewhere. Howard said he feels like an idiot when it comes to those things. Jeremy said he used to be good at that stuff until he started losing brain cells.
Howard asked if he ever did anything like chess. Jeremy said that's too slow. He said he likes something with more action. Howard asked if he skipped grades or anything. Jeremy said he was quite bored in school. He said he got good grades but he got in trouble a lot. He said he was good and bad. He said he toilet papered houses and stuff. Howard said of course he did. Howard said he never did that because his dad's house got egged on Halloween and his dad had to pay for the paint. He said he got too sad about the whole thing.
Howard asked if his friends seemed retarded to him. Jeremy said no. Howard asked if he was a reader. Jeremy said he was just observant. He said that's how he learned about things. He said that's why he studied psychology and things. Howard asked if he had a plan to go to college. Jeremy said he never discussed it. He said his parents were into him just doing things. Howard asked if they were upset when he became an actor. Jeremy said he was accepted into Berkeley and he didn't want to go to college and spend money they didn't have. He said that his dad was working in academic programs and he told him to just go try some stuff. He said that's when acting started.
Howard said all of our geniuses are going into Marvel movies and stuff. Howard said Jeremy should be curing cancer or something. Jeremy laughed at that.
Howard said Jeremy is a good bowler. Jeremy laughed at that too. Howard said it's something you can smoke and eat pizza with. Howard asked where he learned to bowl. Jeremy said his family used to bowl. He said he started at 3. Howard asked if he used bumpers. Jeremy said they didn't have them back then. Howard said he had some sort of ability for that. Jeremy said he guesses he does. Howard said he has an average of 225 or something. Howard said he's never going bowling with him. Jeremy said you can only compete against yourself in that. He said he was bowling against 35 year olds when he was 12. Jeremy said he would bowl and get upset because he didn't have the control over his emotions.
Howard said he used to play chess and he'd get so upset about it when he'd lose. Howard asked when he gave up bowling. Jeremy said he gave up around 12. He said he doesn't play so much anymore. Howard asked what the trick is to bowling. Jeremy said it's the mechanics. He said that it's like swinging a baseball bat and all of that. He said he's left handed so it's more balanced on the left side of the lanes.
Howard said maybe he should go back to bowling and retire from acting. He said that would be awesome.
Howard said when Jeremy moved to L.A. to be an actor he was auditioning and not getting parts. He said even after the Dahmer thing he didn't get much. Jeremy said it was a slow trajectory up. He said he was getting roles but it was slow. Howard asked if he ever doubted himself. Jeremy said he never did.
Howard said he was a makeup artist for a while but just to make money. Jeremy said he never gave up on acting. He said he knew he had talent. Howard said some people would think they sucked. Jeremy said that he had a lot of opportunities to think that but he worked enough that he didn't have to think that. Howard said he should have become a bowling instructor. Jeremy said the most interesting people know what they want to do and they take steps to do that thing. He said it did suck during those times when he wasn't working.
Howard said Jeremy was going to renovate houses at one point. Howard said they bought a house after doing the movie SWAT. Jeremy said that he got some money from the movie and they bought a house and they made a good profit from it. Jeremy said they didn't do it just to make money. Howard said they made like $300,000. Howard said that was his biggest pay day. Howard said that movie SWAT was with Colin Farrell. Howard said Jeremy learned a lot from him. Howard said Jeremy still builds houses to this day. Jeremy said he builds them for him and his family but they have been doing that. He said it's he and his brother. He said that he calls him his brother because he's been a family friend forever.
Howard asked how he knows how to build houses. Jeremy said it's just from observing. Howard said he's seen that too but he can't build a house. Howard asked if he can hammer nails and stuff. Jeremy said he'd rather not. He said he'd rather put things together so other people can build it. Howard asked if he would work for him. Jeremy said he doesn't do that. He said he only works for himself.
Howard said he calls this guy is brother but it's not his brother. Jeremy said it's Chris Williams and he has helped him with the house thing over the years. Howard said they move into these houses when they were doing this. Jeremy said they did that because it saves money. Howard said he's an intense dude. Jeremy said they were doing that right up until The Hurt Locker. He said he had to brush his teeth in a Starbucks the night of the Oscars because they didn't have running water in the house. Howard said it's crazy he had to do that on his way to the Academy Awards.
Howard asked if he has a house he's building and he's going to resell. Jeremy said he has a couple of houses that he's working on for his family. He said they have running water and all of that.
Howard said it was 2009 that the career really popped. Howard said the SWAT movie really got him going in the house business. Howard asked if that's where he learned to handle guns. Jeremy said he did. He said that was something he ended up liking and he got good at it quickly. He said he kept going with it. Howard asked if he still goes to the range to shoot. Jeremy said he doesn't have time now but he did keep up with it. He said he went out with a SWAT team and it's amazing what they do.
Howard said he trained with the bomb guys for The Hurt Locker too. Howard said he's a very intense guy. Howard said he created a very unique walk that he did on his way to the bombs in the movie. Howard said the stunt men weren't able to replicate it. Jeremy said that Katherine saw it. He said he does his own stunts. He said he broke both arms in the movie ''Tag.'' he said he fell 20 feet off a stack of chairs. He said you can see his face and body in the stunt. Howard said that's some Jackie Chan shit. Howard said that's what he does.
Howard asked if Jeremy did his own stunts in ''Wind River.'' Jeremy said he did but not in the wide shots. He said they only had so much time to do stuff. Howard said Elizabeth Olsen is in it with him and she's hot. Howard said she's on the back of the snowmobile and she's yelling at him to slow down. Jeremy said that he learned his own limitations. He said he did the stunts in Bourne Legacy too. He said he only got inured in that comedy he did. Howard said it's crazy.
Robin asked what he does when he breaks his arms. Jeremy said he break his arms but he did the job and got up there again. He said he was splinted during the movie. Howard asked how he makes doody and wipes with both arms broken. Jeremy said he got by. He said his left wrist was okay. Howard said that was his first thought. He said he doesn't know how he gets dressed. Jeremy said that's what he wasn't able to do. He said he had to have people tie his shoes and button his fly.
Howard said he's hard core. Howard said that's pretty awesome he can do all of that. He said he's very impressed with him.
Howard said Jeremy was in Mission Impossible and the Avengers and more. Howard asked if he gets in on the Comic-Con stuff. Jeremy said he's been to a few and it's nice. He said he likes interacting with the fans. He said that they go to the conferences and they enjoy that. He said that there are little kids and the joy on their faces is great. He said it's one of the best gifts he's been given.
Howard said he plays Hawkeye in The Avengers. Howard said he loved comic books as a kid and he loves seeing it come to life. Howard said Jeremy got kind of aggravated that they didn't give him more lines. Jeremy said he did want more. He said that there are a lot of moving things in that movie. Howard said he did get more and more lines. Howard said maybe he'll have a Hawkeye movie. Jeremy said he doesn't know about that. He said that's outside his pay grade.
Howard said that he didn't even get to work with Robert Downey Jr. Jeremy said he liked what they did with the Iron Man so that's why he wanted to do it. Howard said he was also in that Hansel and Grettle Witch Hunter movie. Howard said that was great too. Howard asked if he gets reports on box office. Jeremy said he doesn't pay attention to that.
Howard asked if he did the Wind River movie because it was small budget and he can do that and then a big blockbuster movie. Jeremy said that it can help get those small movies get made. Howard said he loved Wind River. He said they just have to get people out there to see it. Jeremy said they are getting out there to talk about it. Howard said the movie was so depressing. He said it should have been called ''Why the fuck would anyone live in Wyoming.'' Howard said he learned that you can die running around in the cold weather out there. Howard said your lungs freeze up and they get filled with blood. Howard said it's such a screwy place.
Howard asked how long they shot the movie. Jeremy said it was maybe 8 weeks. Howard said he must have been freezing his balls off. Jeremy said they were in Park City so it wasn't too bad. He said he likes the cold. He said he has a place in Lake Tahoe and it's at 8,000 feet so he likes that stuff. He said he likes that environment. Howard said he's a tracker in the movie. Howard said he knows how to shoot a gun and all of that shit. Howard said look at you hunting shit in the snow. Howard said the guy is macho and kills a lot of shit. Howard said it's a pretty awesome movie.
Howard asked if he thinks he could survive out in the wild. Jeremy said he thinks he'd be alright. Howard asked if he knows any martial arts. Jeremy said not really but some from working on movies. He said he knows how to run away from an obstacle. Howard said he's an impressive guy. Jeremy said he's not an expert at anything.
Howard said if he didn't have running water in his house he'd just die. Howard asked where he goes to the bathroom when he's building a house. Jeremy said they use a Port-A-Potty. He was cracking up while Howard was asking him about this stuff.
Howard asked what he studied in the movies for marital arts. Jeremy said over the last 8 or 9 years he's learned some stuff. He said it's the close hand to hand stuff that you can't fake. He said he's learned some Philippine stick fighting and stuff like that.
Howard said asked if he has ever failed at anything. Jeremy said he just does things that he does well. He said that way he doesn't fail. Howard asked what he's doing for fun these days. Jeremy said he's doing movies. He said he did 2 this year. He said that he's trying to slow that down now that he's a single father. He has a 4 year old daughter. Jeremy said he has every other weekend with her. Howard asked if he takes the kid to a movie career. Jeremy said he keeps that stuff away from her. He said that she knows that he's on her pajamas but that's about it. Jeremy said that she just thinks it's someone who looks like him. Howard said having a kid takes up a lot of time. Jeremy said that's why he's sort of trying to do one job a year or so. Howard said he really enjoyed Wind River. He asked if he took a break after that. Jeremy said he did. He said he turns down a lot of stuff. He said that he has to be near his child so he will only shoot where he can come back and get a week on and week off kind of thing. Howard said he'd make that happen if he was a director. Howard said he loves that.
Howard asked if there's ever been a movie he wanted to do that he didn't get. Jeremy said none. He said that Ed Norton got a role he auditioned for and they had Richard Gere in it too. Robin remembered it. Gary said it was Primal Fear. Jeremy said he would have sucked at it. He said Ed Norton was fantastic in it.
Howard asked if he hangs out with guys like that. Jeremy said he sees Ed here and there. Howard said he keeps a low profile. Jeremy said he tries to keep his private life private. He said he hangs out with people he's known for like 25 years. He said he has met other people along the way. He said that Chris Pratt and Chris Evans live near him so they get together. He said Lizzy lives nearby too.
Howard wondered if he would get into politics. Jeremy said he despises politics. Howard asked what they should do about North Korea. Jeremy didn't have any suggestions.
Howard said he really did like that movie ''Wind River.'' Howard said he didn't realize that Native American people are missing and no one tracks them down. Jeremy said they don't have the money to track them down.
Howard said that Jeremy Renner is in Wind River and he plays a tracker who has to solve a murder. Howard said he digs it. Jeremy said it's the laws of man vs. the laws of nature. Howard said it opens in select theaters this Friday. Howard said everyone respects him and things are working out for him. Jeremy said he gets to do what he does. Howard asked if he works out at all. Jeremy said he can't. He said that he had to take a break from injuries and he isn't working out. Howard said he has to do it for the Avengers. Robin said he might have to take up bowling again. Howard said he's the worst bowler. Howard said he hurts himself bowling. Howard said he had a stomach ache from bowling the last time he bowled.
Howard said the movie is coming this Friday. Howard said that Jeremy doesn't like to watch himself acting. Howard said he watched his own movie like 500 times. He said he'd be watching his own stuff all the time. Howard said he sees his movie come on and he has to watch it. Howard said his mother couldn't believe he was in a movie.
Howard asked Jeremy if he ever went to see any of his movies. Jeremy said that the Avengers have so many special effects so he ash to see those. He said the other movies he kind of knows how they're going to look. He said he has to see them in some capacity so he knows what to talk about when he's promoting it.
Robin asked if he doesn't enjoy it or does he mind looking at himself. Jeremy said he will watch playback and do things to modify things. Howard asked if he has ever done a good performance and the director fucks it up. Jeremy said he can't imagine that.
Howard said Jeremy is a pretty good musician too. Howard asked if he ever wanted to do that. Jeremy said he always just did it for himself. He said that he played drums and stuff. He said he just watched to learn. He said that he also learned to play piano watching someone play.
Howard said he took 5 years of piano lessons and he can't play a thing. Jeremy said he wouldn't be able to do that either. He said he learns by ear.
Howard asked how he knew Chris Cornell. Jeremy said he knew him through friends. He said that Josh Brolin knew him. Howard asked if they partied. Jeremy said Chris was so great and he was glad to just have any experience with him. Jeremy said that he would never sing after meeting that guy.
Howard asked if he can play a riff from Kashmir or something like that. Jeremy said he can just play along with a band or something. He said he spent a lot of time recording. Howard asked if he went to Chris Cornell's funeral. Jeremy said he did. Howard asked if he knew Chester Bennington. Jeremy said he didn't but he was at Chris' funeral. Howard said that they had it all. Howard asked what's going on. Jeremy said he doesn't know. He said you just get saddened by that and learn and grow from there.
Howard gave Jeremy another plug for ''Wind River'' and said he hopes people see it. Jeremy said he thinks they put together something good. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said the other day he was talking about assholes who sing behind you at concerts. Howard said this is strange because Richard went to a Tom Petty concert and this is what he's talking about. He said he had a bunch of drunk guys singing behind him. Howard said no one wants to hear them sing along with Tom Petty. Howard said this is what Richard taped at the Tom Petty concert. He said Richard said it was really annoying. Howard played a clip of the guys singing so loud that it was drowning out the song. Howard said it's a horrible experience.
Howard said he's not sure what song that was but it wasn't one of his more popular songs. Robin said they are real fans. She said she can't believe Richard was annoyed. She said maybe he wasn't drunk. Howard said it's so annoying and people are so inconsiderate. Robin said Richard said he sings along too. Howard said he got his come upance then. Howard said you can't sing along at a Broadway musical. Robin said you can. Howard said they'll throw your ass right out.
Richard came in and said he only recoded the part where he wasn't singing. He said he sings along too. He said he just recorded those guys. Howard said he has gone to many concerts and it's fine if it's so loud you can't hear a thing. Howard said if you want to hear the performer doing their thing. Howard said it drives him nuts how annoying people are.
Richard said there was a woman singing at the audience. Howard said they are such evil, sick people. He said you try to argue with them rationally but they will just say ''Fuck you!'' Richard said this woman was blowing smoke in their direction too. Howard said they're stupid assholes who have to be seen singing. He said they'll never be on stage. Howard said he tells people just to sit the fuck down. Howard said he doesn't want to see their asses.
Gary said he was at the Guns N' Roses concert and a guy was holding an iPad up to record it. Howard said he hates people. He said just be there to enjoy the show. He said you know that recording sounds like shit. Robin said she went to see a Paul McCartney concert and she was singing so loud that Jennifer Aniston turned around to see who it was singing.
Howard said he was at Paul McCartney concert and he whipped out his video camera to record it for his daughter but it was just to show her where he was. He said he did it for like 10 seconds. Howard said some people do it the whole time. Howard said people are tools. He said that's why he's into cats. He said they're so nice and fun. He said get yourself a cat. Richard said guinea pigs are great too.
Howard ended up kicking Richard out of the studio when he said Howard is king of the cats. Howard said he'll have him in tomorrow. Howard said Richard wants him to Chloroform him and wrap him up in a carpet. He said that's really what he wants. Howard said he probably wants him to rape him. Howard said he can't do that though. He said if he dies he's responsible.
Howard took a call from a guy named Pocket who said he wanted to comment on the Gallagher performance. Howard said he smashed the watermelon. Howard said it was actually Liam Gallagher and he has a story to tell. Howard said he sounded great singing too. The caller agreed. Pocket said that it's one of the reasons he's proud to be a listener. Howard said Pocket is an interesting name. Howard said Michael Jackson's son's name was Blanket.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks and said people really hate him. King said when you're smart people don't like you. King said yesterday he was listening to the Wrap Up Show and he was on the treadmill and Gary was talking about JD and then he goes King of All Blacks isn't living in reality because of what he said. Howard said no offense but that was yesterday's show. King said Gary also said something about Howard. He said Howard wasn't into cats until Beth got him into it. Howard said he was into cats before her. Howard said Gary doesn't know about him. King said Gary was making it like Beth got him into it. Gary said that's not right at all. He said that's not what happened.
Howard said King is complimenting himself on being smart and most smart people don't do that. Howard said that Trump talked about how he got health care in 5 minutes. Howard said he'd advise him not to do that. King said he knows what he's saying. Robin said she has never met a smart person who told her they were smart. King said he has a low IQ but he has a third eye. Gary said he bets he doesn't break 105.
King said that Gary said he only goes to his friend's house if his wife is with him and the other guy's wife is there. Gary said he never said anything like that. Howard said he doesn't care about any of this. King asked if he can get in a plug for what he's doing. Gary said he never hit his wife when he was with her. King said that was 100 years ago. Gary said that makes it better. King asked if he ever wanted to. Gary said he has been angry at his wife but he has never wanted to hit her. King said Gary is a liar. Howard said he's off his rocker. Howard said he has never wanted to hit his wife. King said he knows Howard has wanted to. Howard said he never has. He said he really has to go. King asked if Howard has never thought about it. King said this is real quick. Howard said he has to get out of there and go home. Howard said he's not going to let him plug. He said if he does then everyone wants to. King said he's not everyone.
Howard hung up on King and did an impression of his call. Howard said everyone annoys him. He said he's recapping yesterday's show. Howard said just bring out your thought. Howard said all he had to do was say that Gary said the only reason he has cats is because Beth wanted them. Gary said he never said that. Howard said it's fine.
Howard took a call from Mrs. King of All Blacks who said she deserves to be hit. She wanted to plug something too. She said she wants her husband to plug her. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that people don't like King because he's a conceded guy. He said he goes off on Ronnie about the clothes he wears and all of that. Howard let that guy go too.
Howard took another call from King of All Blacks who said that he's making him appear like some nut case. Howard said he was going on and on about yesterday's show. King said all he was saying was that he will do shit with his wife but he can't do everything. He said if you don't want to do that stuff then don't do it. King said that he promises that this will be quick. He said if you don't want to do stuff then act like you don't want to do it and just do it. Howard said he's going on and on. Howard told him to take a rest today and try again tomorrow.
Howard said he got a lot of email about the Evil Dave phony phone call he played yesterday. He read through some of that mail. Howard said they got some email about Sal as Scaramucci. Howard said some people thought he was fantastic. Robin said that's too bad because Scaramucci is gone.
Howard said that people liked hearing about June Foray. He read about a few other things they got email about. Howard said they got a lot of praise for yesterday's show with Liam Gallagher. Howard read about JD's wedding and stuff like that as well.
Howard took a call from Sal as Scaramucci but he was doing the ''Jew bastard'' material so Howard hung right up on him.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she saw the cover of the magazine Beth is on. Howard said he shot that for Beth and he's not doing much photography these days. Howard said he did another one for Social Life magazine. Howard said that will be coming out soon. Howard said he begged Beth to let him retire from that. Mariann asked where she can get those magazines. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard let her go and moved on to news.
Howard said there was a guy who was a listener of theirs who passed away. Howard said his name was Michael G. Walters and he lived in Maryland. Howard said he knows this because it was in his obituary. Howard said if you like the show please put that in your obituary. He said it's a way to make a contribution to the show. Howard said he reads the obituaries in the NY Times every day. Howard said people like to know. Howard said that way you can buy their real estate. Howard said when people die you call and get their apartment.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it would be nice if they did an online survey to find out who is more annoying, King of All Blacks or Bobo. Howard said they can do that. Howard had Jason put up a poll. The caller said he thinks it will be close. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin started her news with a story about a mother of 2 who had botched plastic surgery that killed her. She wanted a butt injection to have an ass like Kim Kardashian. Howard said her ass is gigantic. Howard said he's sure she'd want to reduce it if she could. Robin said that ass is her money maker. Howard said he knows guys who have an ass like that and they just eat like truck drivers. Howard said Jon Hein has an ass like that. He said just sit and watch TV like him. Robin said this woman was a young woman and she went to a guy claiming to be a doctor but he had no license. Robin said this woman was in the hospital and taken off life support 10 days later.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's outside of JD's school and this is the best place to find heroin needles out there. Howard asked JD if he had a bad heroin problem at school when he was there. JD said not when he was there. The caller said they shut the school down. He said it looks like a fire went through the place. Howard asked if there's a statue of JD there. The caller said he's working on getting one. JD said he went to 3 different elementary schools and that was the last one he went to. Howard said it would be so great if they shut down all of the schools JD went to.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about two robots developing their own language on Facebook. Howard said it's chat bots that somehow got to developing their own language. Howard said the artificial intelligence created their own language and we don't know what they were talking about. Howard said this is what Stephen Hawking and other people are worried about. Robin said she's brought it up over and over again. Howard said everything is fine now. They shut that down. Howard said JD has his own language just like those robots.
Howard asked JD why he moved around to different schools. JD said he moved around a few times. Howard asked if that's why he mumbles and all of that. JD said he doesn't know. Howard asked if it was difficult for him to adjust. JD was done talking after they goofed on him too much. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said they're building a Trump bot at the Disney Hall of Presidents. Howard said there was a story going around saying they weren't going to allow a Trump robot. Howard said that's not true. Howard said they're going to have one. He said they have one and he can speak to it. Howard took the call from Trump bot. They had fake Trump bot on the phone answering pre-written questions with pre-recorded clips of fake Trump. They did that for a few minutes until Trump bot crashed.
Howard said there are some women on the golf tour who are wearing these booty shorts and tops that expose a lot of titty. Howard said that they have a new dress code that bans plunging neck lines. Howard said that some of the women are freaking out over this. He had some pictures to show Robin. Robin said that she can't imagine you can golf and win wearing that outfit. Howard said he's not sure she wins. Howard asked about this Paige Spiranac. Robin said that Anna Kournikova used to do that in tennis and no one had a problem with that.
Robin read a story about Sam Sheppard dying. Robin said he was an actor and a playwright. Howard said he remembers he banged Jessica Lange. Robin said they were long time companions. Robin said he played Chuck Yeager in The Right Stuff. She said that was a great movie. Howard said he's not sure if he ever saw that. Howard said he saw he died from ALS. Robin said she didn't know he was suffering from that.
Robin read a story about a woman who allegedly killed her 6 year old daughter with a shotgun in Virginia. Robin said she claims that she did that to protect her daughter from aliens. Robin said the killing took place back in February and her lawyer is trying to get her off because of her mental state.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has a cover song to recommend. He said that Oasis did a cover of Neil Young's ''Hey, Hey, My, My'' that he might want to hear. Howard had Fred pull it up. Fred found it and played it for Howard. Howard said he's enjoying it so far. Robin said the music is good. Howard said he can dig this. He said he would listen to the rest of it. Howard said he likes it. Robin said it sounds good. Howard said he likes that song.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said he has a serious message. He said last week someone brought up his son on the Wrap Up Show. He said when they mentioned his son's name it was bad. He said that he wanted to apologize to his son. Howard asked if he asked him not to talk about his tribute to Sylvester Stallone. Bobo said he tried to explain it to him. Howard said maybe he should have gotten his opinion. Bobo said he's sorry he did that. He said that's his private world and private life and he had no business putting it out there. He said they can do what they want with him but his son is very special to him so he's sorry he did that. Howard said he knows he didn't mean any harm. He said he can see why he'd be pissed off. Robin asked if he's not talking to him. Bobo said he felt bad but he did talk to him yesterday. Bobo said he wrote a whole card to him and he couldn't ask for a better son than him. Howard said he can tell he's really shook up.
Shuli came in and said that he knew this was coming. He said that he has some people who aren't talking to him after the shame march. Bobo said he has certain family members who aren't happy about what he did. Howard said he understands Carmine but not the rest of them. Howard said he doesn't get that. Bobo said they're talking to him but they gave him some shit over that.
Howard said that they're doing a poll online about who is more annoying and Bobo is winning over King of All Blacks. Howard said he's sure the Carmine thing will blow over. Bobo said that he told his son that he isn't malicious. Shuli said he loves that he got in trouble for bringing up his son's name and he calls into the same show to bring it up again.
Howard and the guys were sniffing like Bobo. Howard said he's sorry he's going through this. Shuli said that bummed Bobo is so sad. Howard had Fred do his Bobo impression but had him bummed out this time. Shuli said he had a line about ''What did you expect, a prayer meeting'' that he used 3 times in that call. They goofed on Bobo about that. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said you have to check with your kid before you bring them up on the air. Robin said it is his story to tell. Howard said that was BooHooBo.
Robin read a story about how HBO was hacked and they aren't sure if there are leaks of Game of Thrones scripts. Howard said next week's episode is out on the internet. Howard said he hates that hacking. He asked why anyone would want to read it. Robin said you have no idea what's going on in the world. Robin said there are people who will read it. Howard said he'd be put to sleep if he read it. Howard said he'll just wait for next week's episode. Robin said it can spoil some things for some people. Howard said he went to bed last night and thought about how good TV is these days. Howard said he actually prayed to god about how great TV is. Howard said he hates that people try to hack. He said they put a ton of money into Game of Thrones and they're doing it to entertain us. Howard said this is what drives the industry. He said people are assholes and this ruins it. Robin said they say they have video of Ballers and Room 104 that they'll be putting out. Howard said he doesn't care about those shows. He said if the hackers are listening to him then go hack ISIS instead. He said end that shit and don't ruin HBO for him. Howard said he wants good movies and TV. He said he doesn't want them to lose money.
Howard said go out and hack Jim Bakker. He said this guy has a bucket of food called ''Staying Alive'' and it lasts 30 years. Howard said that he claims it's the first time it's been made to last that long. Howard said they used the Bee Gees song ''Stayin' Alive'' in this clip. Howard played the clip and Jim Bakker is talking about how God woke him up and said he wants him to do more food. He said this is the first time in history that there's ever been a 30 year shelf life food. Then they have a band playing ''Stayin' Alive'' and Jim and his partner sing the song. Howard said this is some show. Howard said he can't imagine a God telling Jim Bakker to create that bucket food. Howard said they tried that stuff and it isn't all that.
Robin read a story about a football player who gave up playing NFL to smoke weed. Robin said the NFL is now looking into how marijuana can help with pain in the players so they are softening up.
Robin read a story about how Elon Musk says he might be bi-polar. Robin said that it has to make other bi-polar people feel worse. Howard said he likes that observation. Robin read about what Musk wrote on his Twitter account recently about his ups and downs. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a new TV show that the creators of Game of Thrones are doing for HBO. Robin said that they are being protested because it's a show where American slavery lived on and black people are still enslaved. Howard said that might be too insensitive. Gary said JD told him the show hasn't even been written yet. Gary said they're protesting saying that it shouldn't be two white guys telling that story.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said that the show Ozark is really good. He said he watched it over the weekend. He said it's like a cross between Breaking Bad and Justified. Howard said he likes Jason Bateman. He said he's a good guy. Ralph said The Strain is back too. Howard said Ralph watches a lot of TV. He said he does go to the gym though.
Robin read about some treasure hunters that died. Robin said this treasure was planted by an artist in 2010. Robin said it was planted in the Rocky Mountains and it's supposed to be about $2 million in gold and jewels. Robin said he's been asked to stop because people are dying. Robin read about a guy who disappeared in June. Robin said he was looking for a treasure hidden in the Rocky mountains. Howard asked why this artist is doing this. Robin said two other people have died and now the guy who went missing may have been found. Howard asked what the fuck is going on in America.
Robin read a story about this Mediterranean diet and a new study shows it's good for you but only if you have a high income or have a higher education. Howard said that's weird. Robin said that you eat a lot of vegetables and fish and stuff like that. Robin said they did a study and found that the more expensive foods may be the reason they work better for the rich.
Robin read a story about a guy who thinks that his hotel room was haunted. Robin said he has video to prove it. Robin said the room will be blessed before it's rented out again.
Robin read a story about Governor Chris Christie confronting a man at a baseball game in Minnesota and he has commented to the press about that. Robin had some audio of Christie talking about why he got into that guy's face. Christie said the guy went in for seconds and if you give it, you're going to get it back. He said they're not meant to be public punching bags just because they're public servants.
Robin said that The Mooch was fired from the White House. Robin said it was the interview he gave to The New Yorker that may have gotten him fired. Robin said that the President thought that the language used was inappropriate. Howard said no he didn't. Howard said Trump's people are saying he was offended. Howard said Trump is known for ''Grab 'em by the pussy'' and stuff. Howard said this new General Kelly came in and got rid of this guy Scaramucci. Robin said he wasn't supposed to take that job until August. Robin said he didn't even last until his official start date. Robin said he sold his interest in a business he was involved with so he could take the job. Robin said now he's no longer at his company and he's not working at the White House. Howard said the most interesting part is that he was selling his company to a Chinese firm. Howard said that had to be approved by the government. Howard said that it's really weird that all of that was going on. Robin said it also means he can't go back to that company. Robin said he has to pay capital gains on that sale too. Robin said he's going to be taxed just like the rest of us. Robin said his wife got rid of him too and she was pregnant. Howard said he missed the birth of his baby. Howard said he's going to try to get him on the show. Robin said Stephen Colbert said he wanted to talk about him but he didn't have time. Robin said she feels bad for Mario Cantone too. She said he was working on his impression of Mooch. Howard had some audio of him on a Comedy Central show.
Robin had some audio of Trump talking about the border of Mexico and how they may not need a wall.
Robin read about how Los Angeles is going to host the Olympics again in 2028. Robin had some audio of the mayor of L.A. making the announcement. Howard had to do the math to figure out how far off that was. Howard said it's 11 years. He did the math surprisingly quick.
Robin read a story about President Trump giving a Medal of Honor to a guy yesterday. Howard said this guy was a medic in Vietnam and he was told not to go into this field but he went out and rescued the guys. Howard said the guys were out in the audience and he was so moved by the whole thing. Robin said he was injured himself from shrapnel. Howard said this guy was something. He said he was one of those guys who was almost embarrassed by the praise.
Robin had some audio of Trump talking about how North Korea will be taken care of. He said it'll be taken care of like we take care of everything else.
Robin read a story about how the government is going to be issuing sanctions against Venezuela. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin read a story about the Red Cross asking for blood donors. Robin had some audio of someone explaining why blood donations drop off during the summer. Howard gave a quick update about the poll they had going for Bobo and King of All Blacks. Howard said they're currently tied. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:30am
Howard started the show talking about how he doesn't do that ''Whoop, whoop'' thing. Howard said they tell him it's a T at the end so it's ''Woot'' instead of Whoop. Howard said he's had Insane Clown Posse guys tell him and it's actually Woot.
Howard said he's glad he made it there in one piece. He said Ronnie was on a made tear this morning. He said he knows he jerked forward at one point. He said Ronnie was right on a cab's bumper. He said he gets crazy sometimes. He said he just wants a smooth ride on the way to work. He said Ronnie may have cut someone off so some guy was honking at them. Howard said he just wants to get to work calmly. He said Ronnie is already yelling out there.
Howard had Ronnie come in. Ronnie said there's something wrong with him. He said there are thousands of cars honking out there and he's not the one getting honked at. He said he had to stop short because the guy in front of him stopped short.
Howard asked if he went to a race this weekend. Ronnie asked what that has to do with it. Howard said he's all revved up from that. Howard said it should be a smooth ride to work. Ronnie said yeah right, in Manhattan. Howard said the guy was honking at them. Ronnie said he was honking at a cab that cut him off. He said it wasn't honking at them.
Howard said Ronnie is nuts. Ronnie said there was a lot of traffic. He said on 7th avenue there are lights and they were all screwed up this morning. He said these guys were all weaving and bobbing. Howard asked why he was involved. Ronnie said he had no choice. He said he was in the traffic. He asked what he's supposed to do. Ronnie said he'd like to see him drive in that traffic. Howard said he feels like he's on the titanic. Howard asked if he was jerking back and forth. Ronnie said he had to stop short. Howard said he wouldn't have to if he wasn't on top of the situation. Ronnie said it's 6 in the morning and there's traffic in Midtown Manhattan. Howard said he was too close to the guy.
Ronnie said he wasn't too close. He said the guy behind them was honking his horn because he had to stop short. Howard said he just wants it calm in the car. Howard said it can't be Ronnie. Howard said it's 18 blocks and he'd like him to get him to work without rocking the car. Howard said he will hire Princess Diana's driver. Howard said how about that guy Driving Miss Daisy. Howard said they never rocked back and forth. Ronnie said they were on country roads.
Howard asked what's going on with Ronnie renaming every day of the week. He said he dropped Titty Tuesday and now it's funbag Tuesday or something. Ronnie said Monday is now Munday. He said fucking JD ratted him out about this. Howard said he did. Ronnie said he heard him doing that. Howard said Sunday is Squirt Sunday. Ronnie said that's not true. He said he retweets Thong Thursday. Happy Hump Day is today.
JD came in and said he loves Ronnie's twitter. He said if it's raining out he will write ''Happy WET Wednesday.'' Howard said he has Taint Tuesday and things like that.
Howard had a guy on the phone who had advice for Ronnie. He took the call and the guy said he has a booster seat for his short driver. He said he can see the road clearly if he sits on some phone books. Ronnie told him to get rid of some sneakers he had. It was one of the guys in the back so JD was laughing and Howard didn't understand why.
Ronnie threatened to retire. Howard said he loves that they do that. He said he doesn't care. Howard said Ronnie already tweeted 14 times this morning. Ronnie said he does that before he picks him up.
Howard asked why Ronnie is telling everyone to follow his friend's wife. Ronnie asked what's wrong with that. Howard asked why she has to be followed. Ronnie said she has things going on. Howard said Ronnie is friends with a race car driver and he takes him out on his yacht and things like that. Howard said now Ronnie is telling everyone to follow that guy's wife. Howard said he's trying to get followers for her and he's wondering why that's his deal. Ronnie said she's his friend. Ronnie said he saw her at Pocono. He said she was asking him to do that. Howard asked what she does. Ronnie said she's a model and a polo player. He said she has things going on. Howard asked why they should follow her. Ronnie said she's a friend. He said she has things going on. Robin said he's being a really good friend. Ronnie said he's his friend, dude. Howard asked if he's her manager. Ronnie said he's not.
Howard said Ronnie thinks he can make her a star. Howard said he doesn't have to try that hard. He said if he's a friend he doesn't have to do that. Howard asked why she needs that. Ronnie said her husband does it too. Howard said he has to stop. He's trying to help him there. Robin said he doesn't even know what he's telling people to follow. Ronnie said he does too. Howard said just tweet ''Follow the Stern Show.'' Ronnie said he does that too.
Howard said he got whiplash from riding in the car this morning. He said he just wants him to drive smooth. He said don't drive so fast where he gets caught up some guy's asshole. Ronnie said he wasn't going that fast.
Howard asked how many times Ronnie has tweeted about this woman. Jason said it's been at least 3 times this week. Jason told Howard what he wrote about this Ashley Busch. Howard and Fred were doing impressions of Ronnie talking about this woman. Howard said he heard Ronnie went to a polo match to watch her. Howard said he thought something weird was going on when he heard that. Ronnie said Stephanie wanted to go. Howard said he already gave her some tweets this week. Howard said real friends don't need to work that hard. Ronnie said he doesn't get what the big deal is.
Howard said the first time he met Kurt he brought him to Ricks's. Ronnie said he didn't bring him there. Gary said he heard he did bring him. Ronnie said he brought the Monster Energy guys there. Howard said he doesn't need to pay back these people like that. Howard said he turned Ronnie into a high roller. Ronnie said he didn't do anything wrong so he's not sure where this is coming from. Howard said he had him rocking in the back of the car. He said he rides with other people and they don't do that. Ronnie said right.
Howard asked Ronnie to go through his days. Ronnie said it's not Titty Tuesday anymore for him. He said some other guy has been doing that. Howard said maybe Twat Tuesday. Fred was doing his Ronnie impression talking about that. Ronnie said maybe he'll do that. Howard asked if he thinks he had Titty Tuesday stolen. Ronnie said he doesn't think he came up with anything. He said he just dropped it. Howard said there's more to the story than that. Howard said he wouldn't just drop that. Ronnie said instead of him putting it up himself he retweets. He said he has a guy who does Thong Thursday but another guy does it every day. He said he retweets that stuff too. Howard asked what Thursday is for Ronnie. Ronnie said he won't retweet pictures of women who show their face or pussy. He said he doesn't want to do that. He said he has a policy. Howard said it's like an Illuminati of creeps. Howard said it's like Ronnie is Playboy and the others are Penthouse. Howard said he's seen pussy on his account. Ronnie said nope. He said he doesn't show lips. He said you will see thong and you don't see lips. Ronnie said if a girl is bending over you'll see ass.
Howard said look at the thought that goes into this. Howard asked what Tuesday is on his feed. Ronnie said it's whatever he feels like putting up. Howard asked what he put up today. Ronnie said today is hump day. He said he puts up Happy Hump Day. He said he puts up ''Stern Show live at 7'' too. Howard asked if he calls Thursday anything. Ronnie said he doesn't have a name for that. Faux Ronnie said that's ''Shit on my chest Thursday.'' Howard said it's Fart Box Friday too.
Ronnie said he's not coming up with names for the days. Howard said he could do Fist Fuck Friday. Ronnie said maybe Empty Your Cunt Sunday. Howard asked what that even means. Howard said maybe do your job quietly and don't crash into anyone.
Howard took a call from a guy who said leave Ronnie alone. He said he knows it's tough driving down town. Howard said he has to go 18 blocks and it feels like a roller coaster. Howard said he thinks Ronnie does it to fuck with him. Ronnie said he's not fucking with him. Howard told the caller to tune into Twitter on Empty Your Cunt Friday. The caller said Howard sounds like his dad. He told him to give Ronnie some words of advice as his dad. Howard hung up on the guy and called him a cunt.
Howard said Ronnie has to mellow out. Ronnie said he can tell when Howard comes out of the building he knows what kind of day it's going to be. He said this morning he didn't even say good morning. Howard said maybe that's what set him off. They played a song parody about Ronnie after that.
Howard said Ronnie walked away from him yesterday. Howard asked what that not is about. JD said they were talking about leaving the car and Ronnie was halfway down the hallway. Howard said he won't go into that. Ronnie asked what he's talking about. Howard said he doesn't want to talk about it. He told Ronnie not to worry about it. He said that's just JD making trouble. Howard said Ronnie was fine.
Robin said Ronnie has such an attitude. Howard said he's not wrong about this stuff. He said he could have stayed away from that cab. Ronnie said the guy stopped short. Howard said he was too close. Ronnie said he wasn't. He said you have to drive like that in the city. He said he stopped short in the middle of the street. Ronnie said Robin doesn't know either. He said she has a guy driving her. Robin said she drives sometimes. Howard said she has Gene but she drives too. Ronnie said ''yeah, she drives.'' Howard said he used to drive and take the subway. He said he used to drive Robin and Fred into the city and then park in a parking garage.
Howard said he never jerked Robin and Fred around in the car. Fred said it was a smooth ride. Howard said that's back when Ronnie wrote his letter in crayon saying he wanted to be his friend.
Howard said Kurt Busch's wife doesn't even follow Ronnie on Twitter. Jason said he went through her followers and she doesn't follow Ronnie. Howard said he's busy pushing her feed but she doesn't follow him. Ronnie said he'll have to ask her about that. Howard asked if she shows any nudes. Ronnie said she doesn't.
Howard and Fred were doing their impressions of Ronnie and goofing on him talking dirty about women on Twitter. Howard said he just wants a smooth ride. That's all he's saying. Howard said just a reasonable ride is nice.
Howard did his impression of Ronnie and said he pretends that his wife is a polo player and he's a NASCAR driver. Howard said just pretend the gas pedal is an egg and you don't want to break it. Ronnie said that's an old thing. Robin asked Ronnie why he doesn't drive like that. Ronnie said he can't drive like that in Manhattan. Howard said he broke like a dozen eggs this morning.
Howard asked if Ronnie took a driving course from Bobo. Ronnie said he did but Bobo never drove in the city. Howard had Bobo on the phone and Bobo said he used to drive a tractor trailer in the city. Bobo said that if he follows too close he's going to see something in the guy's car. He said you should not be able to see the tires touching the pavement. He said the closer you get the more you can't see the tires. He said you should be able to see the tires touching the pavement. Ronnie said Bobo is really stupid.
Howard asked how Ronnie can avoid stoping short. Bobo said he just has to stay back. He said he's the top instructor in the state of New York and he knows this stuff. He said he knows how to drive in all weather conditions. He said that your insurance rates go up 100 percent if you get in an accident. Ronnie said he gets plaques from the insurance company for his driving. He said he has 20 plaques. Howard asked how many Bobo has. Bobo said he has more than that but they're more prestigious than that. Ronnie said they post it in the paper too. Bobo said he was in Newsday. Ronnie said he was in the NY Post a few months ago.
Howard asked Bobo to drive around with Ronnie for a couple of weeks. Ronnie said no way. Bobo said he'll do it. He said he had to drive around with everyone in the post office. Howard said he needs an evaluation. Howard said they'll have Bobo sit up front with Ronnie. Ronnie said Howard has to be in the car too. Howard said that's fine. He said he'll do that. Howard asked him to give him a full evaluation. Ronnie said he doesn't want to hear it. Howard said Ronnie is afraid of that.
Bobo said his body should not be going to the left or right. He said it's aggressive driving. Ronnie said you have to drive like that in the city. Bobo said you do not.
Howard said Bobo is giving him some wisdom. Ronnie told him to go fuck himself. He doesn't want to hear it. Ronnie told him to go put a thong on and walk around the city. He said he's a fucking weirdo. Howard asked why he's attacking the guy. Ronnie said fuck 'em. He said no wonder no one in his family wants to talk to him. Bobo said he'll give him an evaluation. Howard asked if he has a thing to write on like a clipboard. Bobo said he can get that.
Howard said they'll work this out. Howard asked if Ronnie was good in his class. Bobo said he was a good student. He sniffed. Everyone started sniffing. Howard let Bobo go a short time later. Howard said they'll get that lined up. Ronnie said sure they will.
Gary said that Ronnie claims that he doesn't tweet out pictures of girl's vaginal lips. He had some examples. Howard took a look and asked what that is. Ronnie said that's the guy he retweets. He said he didn't put that out. He retweeted it. Gary said it was from last year. Ronnie said he doesn't do that anymore. Howard said Ronnie can go now.
Ronnie said beware because there are no guests today. He said everyone is in trouble. Howard said he was all over the road this morning. Ronnie said it's not like that every morning. Howard said he wishes he could have voltage going through his chair. Ronnie said he actually does. He said if you get too close to a car it vibrates the seat. Howard said he's really matured and he's accepting fault. He was being sarcastic. Ronnie didn't get that. Ronnie said if he was too close to someone it would jam the brakes on automatically. Howard said he's not sure why he was rocking back and forth violently then. Howard said his head almost went through the windshield. Robin said even if the lights weren't coordinated you don't have to jam on the brakes.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that what Ronnie needs to do is give himself a safe following distance. He said he's never had to slam on his brakes in L.A. traffic. He said he drives in he city every day. The caller said he's in L.A. to Arizona every day. The caller said it makes no difference where you are. He said it's the same thing wherever you are.
Howard asked the caller if he's on twitter sending out tweets of women's vaginas. The caller said he doesn't have time for that shit. He's not even on Twitter. Howard said Ronnie has to drive him less than 20 blocks and he has whiplash from it. Ronnie said he's another Bobo. Howard asked why these guys can't talk to him. Ronnie said these truck drivers act like idiots too. He said before he did this he was a truck driver. He said he went from Hunt's Point Market to Massachusetts every day.
Howard told Ranine to talk trucks with this guy. Ronnie said he used to drive an International. The caller said they're cheap trucks. Ronnie said he drove a 40 foot truck. The caller said that's nothing. He said it's like renting a U-Haul. The caller said he drives a 53 foot. Ronnie said the guy isn't supposed to be on the phone while he's driving. The caller said it's hands free so he's fine. He told Ronnie to calm down. Ronnie told him to stop riding in the left lane and riding on people's asses.
Howard asked Ronnie why he can't take criticism about his driving. Ronnie said he doesn't need to. He said he gets awards every year from his insurance company.
Howard said he's walking home today. He said good job to Ronnie. He said keep those pussy lips off his twitter. He said he's like Hugh Hefner now. He said he doesn't tweet, he retweets. Howard said he retweets Titty Tuesday and Thong Thursday. Howard said this guy does all of the work and Ronnie just retweets it. Ronnie said they have a whole system going. Howard said he's a star. Ronnie said he's using the guy. Robin said he likes the content so he's retweeting it. Ronnie was arguing and Howard said he's not sure why he's arguing. Ronnie said she's sticking a knife in his back to get him riled up. Howard asked if the guy he retweets is bed ridden. Howard asked if he drove him and gave him whiplash. Ronnie said that's it.
Howard thanked Ronnie for giving him an hour of material. Ronnie said he has to thank JD for throwing him under the bus yesterday. Howard said he can go now. Ronnie left and Howard continued to do his impression of him with Fred. They were goofing on Ronnie's explanation of what he does with the retweeting and helping out that Busch woman. Howard and Fred went on and on for a few more minutes with the goofing.
Howard slipped into his Ted Kennedy for a second. Fred said he's Ronnie Kennedy. Howard got back to doing his Ronnie and talked about the accidental cunt tweet. Howard and Fred were going back and forth with more lines from Ronnie. they were making up excuses for the driving rough this morning. Howard said he's not sure how that's even possible that the lights were changed.
Howard asked if the guys if Ronnie has any more of those celebrity rating things from Ronnie. He said he didn't know that he's done an hour on this. He said he loved telling him that Bobo is going to sit in his car with him.
Howard got a new Ronnie Rating Celebrities. Howard played it and it was Ronnie rating Margot Robbie. He gave her a 10 and he was talking about rubbing her clit and things like that. Howard said you have to love that. Robin said she can't believe that. He was talking about rubbing his dick on her clit and getting cum on it. That led to Howard doing more of his Ronnie impression. Howard said someone is angry with women. Howard said that's a great feature. Howard said Ronnie was talking about her pussy clenching up like a Venus fly trap and then says ''You know what I'm talking about...'' Howard said he has daughters so he doesn't want to know what Ronnie is talking about.
Howard was laughing at what he and Fred were goofing on Ronnie over. Howard was doing his impression and coming up with even more crazy stuff he could say. Fred was doing his impression and Howard said it has to end soon. Howard said she has vacuum pussy. Howard said yesterday he did a rating of Emma Roberts and he only gave her a 6. Howard said her pussy won't tighten up on you. Howard said that poor girl is trying to be an actress and Ronnie is rating her at a 6. Howard said he has to hear that one again. Howard played it and Ronnie said she has a straight frame and she's not curvy enough. He gave her a 6. Ronnie said she should be topless or something. Howard said she went into hiding after that. Howard said she asked for a restraining order. Howard said Ronnie thinks she likes to have her pussy licked. Howard said meanwhile the girl is gorgeous.
Gary said he doesn't know how he can tell what a girl likes just by looking at her. Howard did more of his impression of Ronnie and goofed on him some more.
Howard said maybe they can contact Emma and ask her to rate Ronnie. Howard said he has another Ronnie rating of Megan Fox. Howard said he thinks she'll get a 10. Howard said he'd love for Emma Roberts to rate Ronnie. Howard said she can say he has a flat ass.
Howard played the Megan Fox rating and Ronnie said he was ready to go already. He said she has the tattoo by her pussy and he's sure there's a million ways to make her cum. He said he'd work his way down from her neck. He said he'd flip her over and all of that. He said he's sure her pussy lips aren't hanging to the floor even though she's had kids. Howard said Megan is going to think Ronnie is as hold as her dad.
Howard said he has to take a break. He said his ribs hurt from laughing so hard. He said they're way behind. He went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and took a call from a guy who said he knows he catches a lot of shit from his fans about how he's changed but he's been a fan for many years. Howard said they're some fans out there. He said he has changed. Howard said he changes all the time. Robin said even Ronnie changes. She said he isn't showing pussy or faces anymore. The caller said he likes the new Howard. He said his interviews are a lot better now. He said that he heard an old one with Wayne Gretzky and he hardly let the guy get a word in. He said it's much better now. Howard thanked the caller for that.
Howard did an impression of the caller and had him saying everyone else thinks he's an asshole but he likes him. Howard said he can't tell you how that just made his day.
Howard said Dana Perino called Sarah Huckabee ''Sarah Suckabee'' during a FOX News clip. Howard played that and Robin said that was a Freudian slip if she's ever heard one. Howard said that's it exactly. Robin said Sarah Huckabee is doing the same thing that Sean Spicer was doing so she's not sure why they replaced him.
Howard had another news anchor saying ''crapping'' instead of ''cramming'' during a broadcast. Howard said there are a lot of mishaps.
Howard said he has a weather girl saying shit on NBC in Philadelphia. Howard played that and she almost said shit instead of thunder storms.
Howard said he has a sports anchor falling off a chair in Australia. Howard played the clip and the woman was doing a report when she fell. She got back up and continued her report. Howard said that's awesome.
Howard had to replay that one. He said he's not sure where that accent comes from. Robin said that it all came from England so she's not sure how they don't have one. Howard said he's not sure where that comes from. He was fascinated with the Australian woman's accent. Howard said it's weird. He asked how it morphed into that. Robin said that we morphed and the British had it first. Howard said he'd like to know how it happened.
Howard said when the woman said shit it sounded like them. Howard said the best falling clip was the woman who was stomping grapes and fell. Robin didn't remember that one. Howard said she will when he plays it. He played the clip and the woman is doing a news report and falls out of a grape stomping thing and moans in a funny way. Howard said he likes that the one rocket scientist anchor said she must be really hurt.
Howard took a call from a guy but interrupted saying that they talked about the ''Whoop, whoop'' thing earlier and it is spelled with a P.
The caller said that Fred was killing this morning and he hopes he's getting paid enough. Howard said Fred is getting plenty. He said they should double his salary immediately.
The caller asked if they will ever bring Jackie Martling back. Howard said no. Howard said he and Jackie are friendly and he always enjoyed working with him but it got a little crazy there. Howard said he's been over the story a million times. Howard said Jackie is doing fine without them. He said he has like 27 houses. He said he gets $50 to do bachelor parties now. He's doing fine.
Howard said they gave Fred Jackie's salary when he left. He said they were able to double Fred's salary. Robin said they're doing a documentary about Jackie now. Robin wondered what it would be about. Howard said it'll be about them. Howard did his impression of Jackie and Fred played some of Jackie's music and sound effects.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was driving the other day and almost crashed when he heard the song ''Popcorn Lung'' to the tune of ''Black Hole Sun.'' He also said that the vocal fry thing is killing him. He said he took a call from a woman the other day and he wasn't able to take her serious. Howard said he likes this guy Chris. He said he's going to let him play a Wendy This or That game after a break. He accidentally dropped the guy's call. Howard said the guys should be able to get him back. Gary said they'll get him. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard asked if the guys got that caller back. Gary said they just got him back. Howard said he was walking out yesterday and Meg Griffin was in the glass fishbowl. Howard said she looks good. Howard said she looked really good. He said he gave her an instant evaluation like Ronnie. Howard said he always had a thing for her. Howard said she's still in the business and works there. Howard said she's a DJ and a programmer there. Howard said she has a vast music knowledge. Howard said she worked with him when he started out. Howard said he bets she sleeps with vinyl records.
The guys said that Meg is one month older than Howard. Howard said she aged better than he did. Howard said she was very good on the air. He said she was the best. He said she was interviewing someone out there but he didn't see who it was. Howard said he has to get out of there or people will bother him. He said he blew Meg a kiss and she saw it. He said she didn't blow him back. He said she did wave. Howard said they go back a long time.
Howard asked who she was interviewing. Gary said Mick Fleetwood was up there but he thinks Mark Goodman did that interview. Howard said he thought that's what she was doing. Howard said she's a DJ on The Loft there. He said he saw her and remembered she had no respect for him back in the day. Howard said she never thought of him in ''that way.'' Robin said she didn't have those feelings. Howard said there were plenty on his end. He said she's still hot.
Howard gave Chris a practice question and they asked Wendy if she would rather have $100 or 100 scratch off tickets. Howard asked what she would say. Chris said he thinks Wendy would say scratch offs. Howard played her answer and Wendy said she'd rather have $100 because she needs money.
Howard said Chris would have been wrong but that was a practice question. Howard said she has a 60-something IQ. Howard asked how high Chris' IQ is. Chris said it's 151. Howard said that's very good. Howard asked if he's in MENSA. Chris said he's not. He said he's not sure he'd qualify. Howard asked if he has a good job. Chris said he is a 911 dispatcher. He jokingly said he's working on a cure for cancer on the side.
Howard said they asked Wendy who is better, Mexican or Middle Eastern people. Chris said he thinks that she'd say Mexicans. Howard locked him in on the answer. Howard played Wendy's answer which was Mexicans because she sees a lot in town there. Howard said Chris is on the board. He has one right.
Howard asked Chris what the craziest call he's ever had was. Chris said he could tell him stories for hours but this one call was a lady in a tree and a guy said there's a lady in a tree. He said she's naked. He said the guy told him that she's not in the tree anymore. He asked if she got down. She actually fell out.
Howard got back to the game. Howard said they asked Wendy what's better, Cheetos or Doritos. Chris said he's going with his favorite of Cheetos. Howard said you have to use retarded logic with this. He locked him in and played Wendy's answer which was Cheetos because she doesn't have teeth so she can't chew Doritos. Howard said Chris got that one right too. He said you have to have teeth to eat Doritos.
Howard said they asked Wendy if she would rather go bowling or cure cancer. Howard told Chris to be careful on this one. Howard said you know she loves bowling and she must have lost people to cancer. Howard asked Chris what he thinks. Chris said he thinks she'll want to cure cancer. He said that way she'd be smart. Howard locked him in and played Wendy's answer which was ''Bowling'' because she goes bowling with her friends.
Howard said that Chris has one wrong but 2 right and 2 more questions. Howard said he's sill in good shape. Howard said they asked Wendy if she would rather eat cat food or dog food. Howard said she has cats but they don't last long in her house. Howard said she got a dog recently and he asked her family not to allow that. Chris said this one is hard. He said he's thinking cat food but she might like the dog food. He stuck with the cat food. Howard locked him in and played Wendy's answer which was ''Cat food because it's nice and soft.'' Howard said Chris got it right and won the SVS Prime Satellite Speaker system. Howard said he has to say he knows his slow adults. Chris said he would say he probably does. Howard said he will make him an honorary retarded person of the day. Howard said he works with the 911 phones and he has to deal with retarded people so that must have paid off.
Howard congratulated Chris and put him on hold. They played a song with Wendy singing and then went to break.
Howard came back and said it was exciting giving away that SVS sound system. He said Chris seemed excited about his win. Howard wanted to see how Robin would do with the game. Robin said she was doing okay with the game earlier. Howard said they asked Wendy if she would rather have 5 million or 2 billion dollars. Robin said she's going to say 5 seems larger to her. Howard played Wendy's answer which was ''5 million'' because it will take care of the stuff that was ''tooken'' from her. Howard said she likes that she's not greedy. Howard said Robin is also an honorary retarded person for the day.
Howard said Robin's birthday is next week but they won't be there to celebrate. Howard said he wanted to mention a few people who wanted to honor her. Howard said Medicated Pete made a message for her. Howard played the clip and Pete said Happy birthday and hopes she has many more coming up. He kept saying the same thing over and over. Howard asked Robin if she's crying. Robin said almost.
Howard said Eli Braden cut a song for her too. Howard played that song about her big, brown, massive titties. Robin said here was nothing mentioned about her birthday in that song. Howard said he just realized that himself. He said she is correct. Howard said that was a bust.
Howard said he has Spoken Word Robin on the phone. He picked up and the guys were playing clips of Robin wishing herself a happy birthday. They had her laughing and singing different things. they had her singing about her vagina. Howard said Spoken Word Robin is so much fun. They had her saying all kinds of weird stuff. Howard said she loses it after a while. Howard had to hang up on her. Howard said there was some fun for Robin's birthday. Howard said he thinks they can do better with a song. He played one from Psych where he actually sang about her birthday. Howard said they heard from a few guys. He said that has to feel good.
Howard said in 2004 Stuttering John left the show and they held a contest to win his job. Howard said the two finalists were Sal and Richard. He said Richard won. Howard played a clip from the day he won.
Howard said there it was. He said that's how Richard got his job. He said he produced great stuff right away. Howard said he did something where he called Riley Martin as an alien. Howard played the clip of Richard doing that phony phone call as Meep Zorp. Howard said he liked that Riley said he was wasting his valuable time. Howard said that was one of his finest moments.
Howard said that one of Richard's most famous female characters is Ethel. He said that's where he thinks he sounds like a woman but you know... Howard played a prank call Richard made as Ethel to a restaurant asking what they had in their buffet.
Howard said that Richard is a master of the art of dicking people around. Howard said Sarah Silverman once came in and sniffed Richard's balls. Howard played a clip of Sarah sniffing his balls and dry heaving.
Howard said they salute Richard. He said they learned he loves Brad Pitt and he had a poster of him hanging on his wall. He also likes to watch porn and see guys shooting ''thick ropes.'' Howard said Richard wanted to eat Will Murray's wife's placenta when he had his first child.
Howard had Richard's dad and mom on the phone and he asked them if they're aware of all of that gay stuff. Mr. Christy laughed and said ''Yup.'' Howard said Richard has a child on the way. He said Richard took a bath with a friend. Mr. Christy said that does sound gay. He said he's never done that. Mrs. Christy said the only explanation she has is that there were no girls around there.
Howard said Richard once asked to give him oral sex. He also wanted him to chloroform him and dress him in women's clothing. Mr. Christy said that one was his favorite. Howard said that's his too. He said he can't do it because legal won't clear it.
Howard asked if they have anything to say to their boy. Mrs. Christy said they're proud of Richard. Mr. Christy said that he's proud of him having a job with Howard. Howard said he tries to keep him out of trouble.
Robin asked what they thought Richard was going to do before this job. Mr. Christy said he didn't turn out too bad. Robin asked if they thought he would be able to support a family. Mr. Christy said it was touch and go for a while. Howard said he was living in a storage unit. Mrs. Christy said they never got to see that. Howard said they're about to be grandparents so it all worked out. Mr. Christy said it certainly did. He said it was always Richard's dream to work for him. Howard said it's his nightmare now. Howard let them go after that.
Howard said they are two decent people who raised a completely warped son. Robin said she feels bad for them.
Howard said Richard has said he doesn't have a drinking problem. He said he thinks he does. Howard said when he gets drunk his gay side gets even stronger. Howard said he once called Will Murray and came on to him on the phone. Howard had a clip he played where Richard was taking a leak out on the street and getting all creepy talking about how Will loves this stuff.
Howard asked why he hired him again. Robin said the audience voted. Howard said he pulled the clip of Richard's chloroform fantasy. Howard said they were playing some clips from porn and Richard brought that up. Howard played a clip of Richard suggesting that Howard do it to him.
Howard said Bill Cosby called him after that show and said that he loves the show. Howard said they were going to do it but the legal department wouldn't clear it.
Howard asked Robin how she likes this. Robin said she loves going down memory lane. Howard said Richard once begged to come in to watch Metallica and they decided that he had to get a smegma moustache from Sal. Howard said they wiped it right on Richard's moustache area and had to smell it all day. Howard played a clip from that day when Sal wiped it on his face and Richard threw up.
Howard said Richard once let Sal use his penis to paint his face. Howard said the painting thing went horribly wrong. Howard played a clip from that day when Sal was painting on Richard's face with his penis. He painted on his chin and hit him in the mouth.
Howard said that you know Sal. He said he slipped and hit his mouth. He said that can happen. He said it's not gay.
Howard said one of his favorite moments was when Richard got a Brazilian bikini wax. He played some audio of Richard yelling as he got waxed. Howard said that he's had a strange and beautiful history on the show.
Howard had a clip of Richard talking about taking a bath with his friend and how they bit their fart bubbles in the tub. Howard said they call that hillbilly seltzer.
Howard said Richard once talked about how much he loves women's breasts. Howard said he's just kidding, he never did that.
Howard said they once talked to Richard about his wedding and how gay his bachelor party was. Howard said it was the strangest thing. Howard played a clip of Richard talking about how he and Sal went on their bachelor party trip together.
Howard said there are so many other bits. He said that George Takei did push ups over Richard's mouth. Howard played a clip from that day too. Howard said you would have thought it was Richard's birthday in that clip.
Howard said he put together a montage. He played that and it was Richard making odd sounds and doing weird things on the show.
Howard said that's fantastic. He said he has to say he loves hearing from Richard's dad. He said one of the best things he brought to the show was his dad. Howard played a clip of Mr. Christy talking about eating road kill. Howard said things must be really bad over there on the farm if they eat road kill. Howard said you don't know how long they were on the road. Robin said you don't know what killed them either.
Howard said they were going to do a champagne toast with JD pouring it in his ass. He said JD is in his office practicing for this. He asked what's going on. He said he heard he was listening to loud EDM music. JD said he's Richard's personal butt-tender. He said he was listening to the music for Robin's news. He said they'll hear the music in Robin's news. He wasn't listening to it for this bit. Howard said he got bad information then.
Howard asked Richard what he thinks of all of this. Richard said it's amazing. He said it's awesome and every day is a dream come true for him. He said they have done a lot of crazy shit over the years. Howard said he can't wait for his child to grow up to hear all of this stuff. Howard said he was going to have him drink out of Sal's pouch but he refused. Richard said he didn't want it going from his pouch into his asshole. Sal said he wanted it to go into his mouth. Howard asked if he's afraid of an STD. Richard said he bets there's cheese in his pouch. He wanted to sniff it. Richard said it's okay. He said it smells a little bit.
Howard said JD is going to pop the champagne. JD didn't know what the wire was around the top. Gary said it's on every bottle of champagne. JD popped it a few seconds later. Richard got undressed and said he pooped and took a shower this morning. JD said he'll be pouring it into his asshole. Sal said he'll give a toast. Sal was trying to fit the cork in his pouch. Howard told him to put his cock away.
Howard had JD do his thing and pour the champagne in. JD laughed when he saw his asshole. Howard said he's got his legs held apart like a wishbone. Howard said this is dangerous to do. He said they're only going to do one glass. JD gave a toast to Richard and said it's a pleasure to work with him. Richard was opening up his asshole so JD could pour it in. Gary asked if they can just do this. Sal said it smells terrible over there. He asked Gary to close his mouth.
JD poured in the champagne and Richard said it's a good year. He said he has a nice mouth feel. He said he gets a good buzz from taking it in the asshole. Howard said he should have poured it slowly. JD said he just wanted to get it over with. Richard said it got it all over his balls. Howard told him to lick it off. Gary said Sal is walking around with his pants down.
Richard asked to see some champagne poured in Sal's pouch. Howard had him do it. Richard did it and Sal said it's full and in there. He told him to slurp it out. Richard did it. He slurped it out of his pouch. Richard said he licked it just for shits and giggles. Sal said he did it because he's an idiot.
Howard said Richard just put his mouth on his cock. Richard said it was the pouch. Richard said he tasted the champagne. Howard said he just licked his cock. Howard said it's too bad his parents aren't on the phone to hear this. Robin said this was touching. Howard said on their 20th anniversary they're going to fuck each other.
Richard said he knows he wants to wrap this up but he could pretend to be knocked out and have Howard change his clothes. Howard wrapped it up and let the guys go. He didn't seem interested in doing that. Howard said he's going to assume Richard is drunk and that's why he did what he did.
Howard said he's going to take a break and talk about something he heard about yesterday. He said he'll talk about it on the air. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he has Michael Rapaport on the phone. Howard said he's a big Knick fan. Howard said he sees him there. Howard said he was a fan of him in the show ''Justified.'' Michael's phone was kind of cutting out. Robin said he was also in that show on Netflix. Howard said he's a working actor. Howard said he thinks he's a good actor. Michael said last time he said he was a great actor.
Howard asked if he heard Richard blowing Sal. Michael said he did and that's why he has this thing going on in his throat. Howard asked him to clear it up. Michael let out a cough. He said he woke up to Richard blowing Sal and that was his alarm clock. He said it's shocking to the system.
Howard said the reason he's calling him today is because the guys were in a meeting yesterday. He said they told him a thing about the fantasy football league they're in. Howard said it was interesting to him. He asked when the league starts. Jason said it starts in September. Howard said he doesn't give a fuck about fantasy football but this was interesting to him. He said he demanded that Michael be on the phone. Howard said Gary might have to break the news to him. He had Gary come in.
Gary came in and said they voted on the league and where they're going with it. Gary said they feel that the core of the league is the guys who work there. Howard said they started out with the league with just the staff but then they brought in celebrities like Jerry O'Connell. Gary said it wasn't his idea but Will was blaming him. Will said he knows Gary pushed hard for some people. Gary said he did for Michael.
Jason said that Jerry didn't take it seriously and it was horrible to play with him. Jason said Matt Berry came in and replaced him. He said then Michael came in. Gary pushed for Michael. Howard said it sounded like fun at the time. Gary said it did.
Gary said it was fun at times. He said they put it to a vote and they were going to kick some out and some not. He wasn't naming names so Michael told him to name names. Gary said he's not going to answer to a Cable Ace Award loser. Michael said he wants him to name names. Gary said he wasn't pushing for Michael this time. He said that he was thinking that Lisa Ann and Matthew Berry weren't contributing. He said he was either way on Michael. Will said that Gary was one of the guys who wanted him out. Gary said he was up for whatever the guys wanted to do. Jon Hein said he wanted him in. JD said he wanted all three out. JD said he wanted it to be just a Stern Show league. Will said he just wanted Rapaport in. Jason said he wanted all three out.
Howard said they're getting an idea of what's happening. Gary said they took the vote and they are eliminating all three celebrity positions. He said they are leaving one open and Michael can apply to get in. He said Snoop Dogg might want in and Ike Barinholtz might want in. Michael said he's done. He said that he will text Snoop and Ike and tell them to stay away from these mother fuckers. He said he's in the league.
Howard said this is why he wanted to call him. He said he's out. Howard said Gary is saying that he can reapply but he's not going to get in. He said that he's going to be out either way. Michael said that he called Bill Burr and he's not going to do it. He said that Snoop doesn't want anything to do with JD. Howard asked if he's shocked by this. Michael said he is. He said he could post the tweets and texts that they've had saying he was all good and set. He said last time he was on the show talking about this they tried to vote him out. He said that they're not listening to Howard. Gary asked why he wants to be somewhere he's not wanted by everyone. Gary said Jason and JD said they don't want him. Howard said he's been in the league how many years. Michael said this would be his 4th year.
Robin asked if Ike is going to show up at Gary's house to discuss the drafts. Michael asked if anyone cares about him talking about the draft. Howard said this is shocking.
Will said this is a procedural thing. He said he thinks he'd be the front runner to get back in. Howard asked why he has to be out. Gary said they're not asking him to stay if he's not into it.
Jason said every year of the league Michael has broken the rules. Michael was yelling at Jason telling him to listen to his boss. Jason said if he listened to his boss the whole league would have been disbanded. He said every year he has had problems with Michael. He said he's off the rails just weeks into the season.
Gary said he thinks that he's using them. Howard said that his antics are a distraction to the league. Jason said Michael is out on all of these other shows talking about their league. Howard said he might lose those jobs. Michael said he gets asked about the league. Jason asked why. Michael said people care about what Gary is doing. He said it's not about Jason. Gary said he has a show on Sirius because of the league. He said that's not a problem but that's where he got the job. Michael asked why that's a bad thing. Howard said he knew this was going to make him nuts.
Howard asked if this is the first the other celebrities are hearing about this. Gary said it is. He said they'll be upset too but not as upset as Michael.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that they can't get rid of Michael. He said he comes up with names for Gary that are great. Gary said Michael isn't necessarily out. He said he could come back. Michael said he's not going to apply again. He said he thought this was a kick off for the league and he's not that comfortable right now. Howard said that's why he told the guys to tell him. He said he knew he'd be upset.
Michael said that Ben Barto didn't vote him out. Gary said it was a unanimous vote to get all three out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks Gary is taking the significance of his fans too far. He said Michael has his own podcast. He said he's not giving him a career in sports casting because of their league. Gary asked what he was into before this. Jason said that Michael played his first fantasy football game with them. He said now he has shows across a bunch of networks. Michael said that people love him talking about fantasy football because of the Howard Stern Show. He said that he's not sure why these mother fuckers aren't proud. He said they're jealous of people doing things with their lives.
Michael said one of the great things that came out of all of this was being offered to write a book. He said he has a book coming out. He said he has a book coming out about his sports rants and one of the chapters is about how Howard Stern's gorilla turned him into a fantasy football expert. Howard said they might pull the book deal now. Gary said he has to get the plug in now because he won't be able to do it later in the year.
Jason asked if he has a chapter on how to never win his fantasy football league. Jason said that he has won and so has Gary. Michael got in more plugs for his book after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they could take the most irritating guys on the show and they're not half as irritating as Rapaport. He said he doesn't have that hot credentials. Howard said that he's been in a lot of movies. The caller said he has nothing but hatred to spew and he's not funny. He said he's just loud.
Howard said he thought he deserved to know the result of the vote. Howard said he's curious about this. He asked Fred what he thinks about all of this. Fred said fantasy football is all about shit talk and he's not sure why they want him out. He said he seems to have the spirit down. He said there must be something else going on there.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik (Shuli) who said that Gary is being a cunt. He said they should get Donnie Wahlberg in the league. Gary said he'd take him.
Will said that he didn't vote Michael out. He said he had to vote him out because they had to vote all three of the celebrities out. Will said that Michael has his vote. Gary said he doesn't even know who he's voting against. Howard said right now Michael is out. Will said he'll be back. He said that he will come back. Howard said he agrees.
Howard said the only celebrity who is still in the league is Scott the Engineer. Michael said he's very upset about this. He said he's been hoodwinked and bamboozled. Gary said they've been threatening to kick him out for 3 years. Michael said they were telling him he was in.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said they were star fucking him and he should still be in the league. He said that they're fucking him over. He said they didn't tell him that he might be kicked out. Gary said they might have Brent as part of the league. Ralph said he thinks Howard should make them leave Michael in to continue the league. Howard said he doesn't want any part of this.
Ralph told Michael to start his own league. Michael said he is. He said beating the shit out of Will and Gary is great. Gary said he never beat him. He said he beat Michael. Gary said he has a ring and everything. He said Michael sent him a ring with a monkey on the side of it.
Michael said he has another special announcement. He said things got ugly with him and Jason. He said he got him a custom ring with a pink diamond and it has an elephant on one side and an ice cream cone on the other side. He said that keeps him motivated. Jason said that's very sweet.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has to throw some common sense out there. He said the fans should get to vote. He said that Rapaport is the only interesting thing in the league. He said he doesn't want to hear about it if he's not in it. JD said that's fine. Howard said he fans do love him.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that they should keep him in. He said JD doesn't have an opinion on this. JD said he wants to just keep it back office. He said he wants it to be people he sees on a regular basis.
Howard said that Michael is out of the league and he was shocked by the news. He said that he heard it from the guys and he was shocked. He said the news is true though. He said it's not fake news.
Michael said he's not sure he wants to come back. He said he's going to think about it. He said he put it all on the line for this league. Gary said he'll send an application out today and he has to get it back to them in a week. Howard said he's making jokes about this. Jason said he doesn't hate Michael in the league at all. He said that he thinks this is best for the league. Howard said he's sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Howard said rest in peace as they say.
Howard let Michael go and said that was tough to hear. Howard asked how the guys think that went. Gary said that he's not the only one who wanted him out. He said it was the other two who weren't participating in the league so they wanted them out. Howard said he has a headache from all of this.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that they're all losers and back stabbers. She said there wouldn't be a show without Michael. She said if that show goes on without him it's not going to last. Gary asked what show she's talking about. Michael said they're losers and shame on all of them.
Howard said they have really unleashed a lot of anger and response from this. Gary said he'd like to thank Jon Hein for everything he said today. Howard said maybe he'll wake up on the Wrap Up Show. Howard said rest in peace Michael Rapaport. He said they knew ye well. Howard played a song parody that Rapport did about Gary. Howard said that they took care of business. Howard said watch your backs for anyone listening. He said Rapaport is angry. He said check your Twitter account. Fred played Taps for Michael being kicked out.
Howard asked if they got a final tally on the vote with Bobo and King of All Blacks. Jason said that King won with 52 percent of the votes over Bobo's 48. Howard said everyone was chiming in with email. Howard read through some of that email. He had people on both sides writing in. Howard said one guy wrote in saying he loves them both and he didn't vote.
Howard said he got an email saying Shuli deserves combat pay for his report on Underdog Lady at the parade. Howard read that and some other emails about Shuli and Underdog.
Howard said people were wondering how Jeff the drunk is doing after his ride to the hospital. Howard said he hasn't heard. Shuli came in and said he's still in the hospital as of this morning. He said he was having a hard time putting sentences together. He said 2 or 3 years ago he had a small stroke so it's not looking good.
Howard said that someone suggested they check him for ticks. He might have Lyme disease. Shuli said he's going to stay on that story and let him know as soon as he finds anything out.
Howard said that Senator Al D'Amato turned 80 yesterday. He wished him a happy birthday. Howard said he got a lot of email about Liam Gallagher. He read one of those.
Robin started her news with a story about a guy who tried to rape a 71 year old woman. Howard said that rape isn't always about sex. He said it's domination or maybe anger toward his mother or something. Howard said that's a horrible story.
Robin read about Kathy Griffin shaving her head in solidarity with her sister who is undergoing chemotherapy. Howard said he sees a lot of people do that. Robin said she had someone saying they were doing it for her but they just cut their hair short. Howard said you can't make a look out of that. Howard said to show true solidarity then get cancer. Robin said that or just take the chemo. Robin said that Kathy had already lost a brother in 2014 to cancer. Robin said it's had a major impact in her life. Howard did a live commercial read and took a break after that.
After the break, around 10:30am, Howard came right back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin asked if there are words that Howard finds funny when he hears them the first time. Howard said sure. Robin said scientists have done a study and they have a list of the top most humorous words. Howard said they must have a lot of Yiddish in there. Robin said she's not sure but she has the list. Robin read some of the words like Quirk, Ass, Egghead, Beehop, Rankle... Howard said this is a bullshit list. Robin read more including Waddle, Twit, Nitwit, Hooter, Boobie, Tit and Booty at number 1. Howard said that's not the funniest word. Howard said how about Mooch. Howard asked about Taint. Robin said men find sexual words much funnier than women. Howard asked where Dingleberry is. He said those words are not funny. Robin said Scrotum is one of the words men find funny. Howard agreed with that one. Howard asked about Mac-Hine. Fred played Gary saying that.
Robin read as story about George Harrison's son releasing his debut album. Robin said his name is Danny Harrison. Robin said it hits stores on October 6. Howard said he'd never be a musician if his dad was George Harrison. Robin had a clip of his first single. Howard said he'll keep an open mind. Howard let it play and asked who produced it, the guy from ELO? Robin said she's not sure. Howard said good for him. Howard said he should name his album ''My dad was a Beatle. Fuck off.'' Howard said maybe he should replace Rapaport in the fantasy football league. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said he feels bad for that Danny Harrison. He said that he saw him on stage with his dad. He said you need a dad who crushes your spirit and you rise from the ashes like he did.
Robin read a story about how parents think their kids are doing better in school than they really are. Robin said if you look at the national survey on how kids are performing and not very many are performing at their grade level. Robin said most parents think their kids are doing just fine.
Robin read a story about Anthony Scaramucci and how he was mostly joking in the article with The New Yorker. Howard asked if Gary has had any luck getting him booked. Gary said he has not responded to his direct message on Twitter. Robin said he claims he was joking in that interview. Robin said that's the excuse they give at the White House when he says anything people don't agree with.
Robin said last weekend the President was on Long Island and made a joke about how to handle thugs they're arresting. Robin had some audio of that. Trump said he told them not to be so nice putting these thugs in their car. Howard said it's like stand up. Robin said this is our President. Robin said some people came forward and said he may have been promoting excessive use of force and saying they don't agree with him on that. Robin said they say they're not going to listen to that. Robin had some audio of Sarah Huckabee Sanders saying that was just a joke and nothing more. Howard said he has Trump on the phone so he can ask about that. Fake Trump was on the line so Howard asked what's going on there. Howard spent a few more minutes talking to fake Trump pre-recorded clips. He had fake Caitlyn Jenner on the line to talk to him too. Howard let them go after a couple of minutes of them arguing.
Robin read more about President Trump and how Trump dictated Donald Trump Jr's response about his meeting with the Russian official. Robin said they're wondering if Don Jr. authored his statement himself. Robin said that Sarah Huckabee Sanders says he didn't dictate it. Robin had some audio of her talking about that. Robin said that they're blaming the democrats. Howard said even Sal turned on Trump and he was a big Trump guy. Howard asked Sal what happened. He said he probably mis-heard something. Sal came in and said the whole no transgender in the military thing did it. He said it's ridiculous. He said Trump is making some big mistakes. He said he's still for the guy but he needs to stay off Twitter and do what's right for the country. Howard said that was Salamucci advising the president.
Robin read more about Trump and had some more clips of him. Robin had him talking about how the stock market is as high as it's been in 16 years and unemployment is at an all time low. Howard asked what he has to do with that. Robin said he's taking credit for it.
Robin had some audio of someone talking about how we have told North Korea that they are not our enemy but they are threatening us so we have to take action. Howard said Sal's teeth were so white it was like taking advice from a rabbit. Howard said he went really white with those teeth. Robin had some audio of Lindsay Graham talking about how there could be war with North Korea if they keep trying to hit us with an ICBM.
Robin read s story about NASA hiring a new planetary protection officer. Robin said that this person would be defending Earth from an Alien contamination. Howard said it sounds like a job for Brent Hatley. Robin said it comes with a six figure salary. Howard said there are no Aliens. Howard said he'll take that job. He said he can be brave in that war.
Robin said Jeff Bezos was the richest man in the world for a short time. Robin said he runs Amazon. Howard said Amazon is awesome and that guy is busting his ass to run it. He said he digs that guy. Robin said he topped it but went back down because of stock prices. Robin said he may take over that spot in a few cycles. Robin said he'll be the richest man on earth. Robin read that Amazon is trying to staff 10 fulfillment centers and they have thousands of jobs. Robin had some audio of someone talking about their amazing benefits package. Howard talked about how great Bezos is doing what he's doing.
Robin read a story about how Corey Booker has submitted a bill to legalize pot. Robin said we should learn from our past that when you try to stop people from getting something they get it anyway.
Howard asked Robin if she would bang Vladimir Putin or Lenny Dykstra. Robin picked Putin over Dykstra.
Robin said a new head of the FBI has been appointed. Robin said they'll find out more about him soon.
Robin read about an iPhone case that's been recalled. Robin said they have liquid in them and people are getting burns from the liquid when it leaks. Howard said just get a normal phone case. Robin said that they had 24 reports of chemical burns from the leaks. Robin said 19 of those were in the United States.
Robin had some audio of Al Franken talking about the health care bill on Late Night with Stephen Colbert. Robin said Al is out promoting his book.
Robin read a story about women who drink diet soda while pregnant could be putting their kids at risk of weight problems. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin said there's going to be a new Star Trek on CBS All Access. Robin said she's not sure what that is. Howard said he thinks you have to pay for shit on CBS. Robin said the new show is called Star Trek Discovery. Robin said it was delayed by 9 months and the producer said they had to make sure it was spectacular for this pay service. Howard asked Gary if he's right about the pay thing. Gary said it's like $5.99 a month. He said there's a show he wanted to see on there but he's not going to pay for it. Howard said he's not giving them $5.99. Gary said he has like 27 5.99 a months he's paying. Robin said there are so many services. Howard said he likes getting advertisers and putting that shit on TV. He said then he fast forwards through the commercials.
Howard asked Gary how many pay services he has. Gary said there are a bunch. He said you get hit everywhere. Fred played Sour Shoes saying ''Noine'' while Gary was naming the services. Robin had a band playing the Star Trek theme and Fred played Gary playing trumpet over that. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 10:55am.
Today's show was over around 11:05am.