Today's vacation replay show was over around 11:00am.
Howard was back live after being off yesterday. Howard started the show talking about the Dr. Agus theme song and wondered if they played it. He said he and his wife were singing it the whole weekend. He said he'll sing it for you. He sang the song to the tune of ''Rock Me Amadeus.'' The guys played it for him but it didn't go on long enough so he played it himself and sang along to it.
Robin asked if he knows the words to the original song. Howard sang it and Robin said that's it. She thinks. Howard sang it again. Robin wondered if he likes that song. Howard said he bangs his wife to it.
Howard said Dr. Agus will be on the show later today. He said he's sure he'll talk about the idiots that won't get the vaccine. He said Jason got the vaccine and he's not even 65 or older. Robin asked how he got it. Howard said he did fit into one of those groups. He said he's obese. He said they asked if he fit the criteria and he fit into the obesity section. He said no one had vaccine but then he got a call from someone that he should come in. He said he went over and got it. Robin said she did that and nothing has happened for her.
Howard asked Jason to explain. Jason said he filled out the information weeks ago and he went on to schedule. He said he hit the link and no schedules were available. He said that they had 50 places near him. He said nothing was available for 3 months. He said he kept checking and eventually this place popped up. He said he booked the appointment and he got it. He said he offered to step aside for someone else but they told him to come in. Howard said now he wants to be obese. He said Jason said that one place said if anyone knows of anyone who wants it they can come down. Jason said that was a friend of his. He said they told him that the biggest issue is canceled appointments. He said they have to get them done or the vaccine gets thrown away because it comes out of the freezer. He said you're not supposed to get it if you're not 65 or older so they have to throw some of this stuff away.
Howard said good for Jason for being obese. He said they just cleared the way for smokers too. He said they're giving it to people with bad habits. He said you'd think they'd have something set up more organized. He said he hopes now that we'll have a real President they'll get it organized so they can get everyone this vaccine.
Robin said she has a friend who works in the hospital and they told him to get the vaccine and no one was getting it. She said it was like they had no patients. Howard said here are so many guidelines that they can't get it done. He said he hopes that Biden is able to get it more organized.
Howard said Jason got the Moderna vaccine and he didn't have a reaction to it other than a sore arm. Jason said that's it.
Howard said Ronnie is getting it today too. Robin asked how he stumbled into it. Jason said he's very old. Howard said he thought he was waiting. Ronnie said he's going today with Stephanie. He said that they're getting the Moderna. Howard said that's good. Jason said this was the first time he was around people since March. Robin said it is very weird to go out. She said she feels the same way.
Howard said Ronnie is getting it today so that's very smart. Ronnie said he goes back in 28 days for the second shot. Howard said his fiancee is getting it too because she works in a medical office. Ronnie said she is.
Howard said that's good because then they're both done. He said if they have a household where only one was vaccinated then they still can't go out. He said that if Ronnie got COVID and she wasn't vaccinated she could get a full blown COVID thing. He said that's why they're having Dr. Agus to explain all of this today. He said that's the way he understands it.
Robin said that she thinks that Ronnie will still have to wear a mask even after the vaccine. Howard said that's what he just said. Robin said that's not what it sounded like. Ronnie said they're both going and getting it at the same time.
Robin said she has friends who are in the medical profession and grey get the vaccine but the people at home don't. Howard said this is why they need someone to get this thing organized. He said if we were going to war they're not going to leave it up to the states to figure out. He said it's absurd what we have going on in this country. He said he heard this Melania giving her farewell speech and he thought he was in a bizarro world. He said she was saying ''be good to everyone'' and talking about he police and they still haven't mentioned the death of this cop who died at the Capitol riot. He said it's all bullshit. He said that they haven't even invited the Bidens to the White House like every President does.
Howard said that this ''Be best'' thing isn't even correct English. Robin said that when she said that he told her not to make fun of her. Howard said he was wrong. He played a clip of Melania's speech and laughed at her saying that violence is never the answer. He said 74 million people voted for this guy. He said that she's qualified to say ''Be hot'' and not ''Be best.'' He said how about ''Be quiet.''
Howard played more of her speech and talked about how they still haven't mentioned the cop who died. He said that they also said that one of those idiots at the riots was going to sell Nancy Pelosi's computer to the Russians. He said that's the kind of logic these ''great Americans'' have. He said that one guy was a former grocery worker. He said this guy Brandon Fellows recorded himself smoking weed in a senator's office. He said then he posted it on his Bumble dating profile and he told the NY Post that it was blowing up for him. Howard said these dummies want to be famous and then they have the FBI knocking on their door. He said that this guy was a former grocery store worker. He said you don't see any doctors or lawyers getting arrested for this.
Howard said this other guy was a guy who lived with his mom and wore a wolf skin outfit. He said this reminds him of Nazi Germany and they're trying to sell Nancy Pelosi's computer to the Russians. He said this Melania has balls saying this stuff when she's not even mentioning the death of this cop.
Howard said this movie was written by the woman who plays Camilla Parker Bowles in The Crown. He said the movie is really good. He told Robin what it was about and said it's really good. Robin said she's not really into that kind of thing. Howard said he wasn't either but it was really good. He said he didn't watch it for 2 days because he didn't think he would like it but it was something that Robin will like.
Howard said he's back to watching 1000 Pound Sisters. Robin said she tried to watch that My 600 Pound Life and it was hard to watch. He said the woman woke up moaning. He said that she tries to turn over and she can hardly turn over. She said her husband is about the size of her and then he pulls her up to a sitting position and she starts whining that he has to do everything for her. He said she has to get help in the bathroom from him.
Howard said that's the formula for every My 600 Pound life. He said they all do that. Robin said she's not sure how they tell one lump from another. She said that what chases her out is the sores on their legs. She said they are suffering and she can't watch that. Howard said he likes seeing them pull their lives together.
Howard said Robin seems to be caught up in it. Robin said that was all in 10 minutes. Howard said that the formula is the same and grey finally bathe and then it's time to eat. He said they get back into bed and the person who helps will bring them so much food. He said they all use their belly as a tray. He said that's the best part. He said they bring in plates of food and then they're exhausted. He said they lay down again. He said then they go to see the doctor who will give them gastric bypass surgery. He said they have to lay down in the car. He said he cheers for them to get help. Robin said that's so bad.
Howard said the one sister is 400 pounds and the other is almost 600 pounds on this 1000 Pound Sisters. He said this one girl is so fat her forehead is fat. He said that he's never seen that before. He said he pulls for them too. He said he hopes that Tammy can lose some weight. He said it's the greatest television. He said their brother is fat too but he tries to teach them how to eat.
Howard said that he saw an advance of the Eric Andre movie and he loved it. He said Beth wanted to run out of the room. He said it's called ''Bad Trip'' and it's all stunts. He said he loved it. He said that Eric is really funny. He said they have this one stunt where Eric goes to the zoo and there are unsuspecting people there. He said they have a guy in a gorilla cage and Eric gets into the cage and the gorilla pulls down his pants and rapes him anally. He said he was laughing so hard he thought his ribs were going to break. He said people were shocked by it. He said Eric says he let his phone in the cage and goes back in to get it and the gorilla makes him blow him and then blows loads of cum. He said Beth didn't find it funny at all. He said he can't understand that. Howard said that he's a fan of Eric's. He said he thought the movie was great.
Howard said there's something there keeping him alive at 87. He said he has an inner strength. Robin said she thinks that he's still in the hospital but out of the ICU. Howard said he's convinced that he married those young women to drink their blood. He said that they're all gone and he's still around. Robin said he was moved out of the ICU on New Year's Eve. Howard said that he'd like to know where all of those ex-wives are. Howard said Robin has to investigate. Robin said he has lost some of his kids. Howard said he's a survivor.
Howard said he remembers Larry looking old when they were at WNBC. He said he's never looked young. He said someone who did not beat COVID-19 was Phil Spector. Robin said she missed that one.
Howard said Phil was 81. He said he was in jail. He said what he did musically was interesting. He said that he wasn't into a lot of his stuff but he did work with John Lennon and The Ramones. He said he was just bat shit fucking nuts. He said one of the complaints about him was that he was very eccentric. He said he'd pull guns out in recording sessions and stuff. He said he was a true innovator. He said that he was known for ''the wall of sound.'' He said he'd build up layers of sound to record to. He said that he was known for that and worked with the Beatles.
Howard said Phil started out as a young man and wrote a song called ''To Know him is to Love Him.'' He said that was about his father and that's what was on his grave stone. Robin said she remembers hearing that song as a young girl. Howard played some of the song that Dolly Parton and others sang. Fred played Robin singing over it. Howard asked him to hold off on that while he's doing this. Howard said Phil had a group called The Teddy Bears and they recorded this. He said this is the cover.
Howard said Phil started his own record label and had The Ronettes. He played some ''Be My Baby'' as he was talking about them. Howard said he even went on to marry Ronnie Spector. He said that was a great example of the wall of sound. He said that's what he did. He said that he was all over the charts in the 60s. He said he was a multi-millionaire at the age of 21.
Howard played more examples of the songs he produced. He said that Phil wrote a song ''Christmas, Baby Please Come Home.'' He said that he had a lot of hit songs. He sang some of the stuff he knew.
Howard said that this guy could write and produce. He said he was a big deal. He said he produced a lot of huge songs like ''You've Lost that Loving Feeling'' that had a ton of musical instruments in it. He said that was another wall of sound thing. He said that song was huge. He played some of that.
Howard said that guy who sings that song looked like Lurch. He said he remembers that. He said that was all Phil Spector. He said no wonder he was a millionaire.
Howard said Phil also wrote Ike and Tina Turner's hit ''River Deep Mountain High.'' He said that song got a lot of recognition later on. He said they had 22 musicians on that song and it cost a ridiculous amount of money at the time. He said Phil made her sing it so many times that she was drenched in sweat and had to perform it in just a bra. He said that's how he'd do that if he had to produce songs. Howard said that song only hit number 88 on the charts. He played some of that song and said here was a lot going on in that one. He said that shirt had to come off. He said she had a smoking little body.
Howard said Phil kind of wigged out. He said he thought that was his greatest accomplishment but it wasn't a big hit and he left he business for a few years. He said the Beatles remembered him and he had a comeback with them. He said that John Lennon did ''Instant Karma'' with him. He said he only did 10 takes with that one. He said he didn't want his shirt coming off apparently. Howard played some of that song. He said The Beatles had him help them with their next album. He said some people thought they were over produced but you can hear all of the Phil Spector work in this album. He played some ''The Long and Winding Road.''
Howard said he heard that Paul McCartney thought it was over produced. He said that he later stripped out that production and released ''Let it Be'' without the production.
Howard said George Harrison and John Lennon loved his style so they continued to work with him. He said he loved the album ''All Things Must Pass'' and that's one that Phil worked on. He said Phil is all over that one. He played some of the song ''My Sweet Lord.''
Howard said then John Lennon had him do the Plastic Ono Band album. He said that this is a Phil Spector production too. He played some ''Imagine'' by John Lennon. He said that Phil's father committed suicide when he was just 9 years old. He said he was also thrown through a windshield in a car crash and he had 700 stitches in his head. He said that may have made him nuts.
Howard said Phil's personal life was kind of wacky. He said that Ronnie Spector was on the show a few times. He said she had a lot of claims about Phil and what he did to her. Howard said that she claimed that he'd kill her and display her in a coffin he had in his basement if she ever left him. Howard said that he stole her shoes so she couldn't leave him. He said that when Ronnie escaped she was barefoot when she escaped. Howard said he was super controlling in the studio and at home.
Howard said there was a story about Phil working with The Ramones and Dee Dee wanted to leave and Phil threatened him with a gun to stay. He said there was a story about John Lennon's assistant getting into an argument with Phil and he shot a gun in the studio to calm everyone down. He said that John told him not to fuck with his ears. He said that there's one story after another. He said then the crazy stories took over. He said in 2003 there was this actress Lana Clarkson who was murdered at Phil's house. He said he was charged with the murder and then you see him at the trial and wondered what was going on there. He said the guy looked unhinged.
Howard said that Phil was eventually convicted and he went to prison. Gary said he was in prison from 2009 until now. Howard said he should have slipped a few bucks to Trump to give him a pardon. He said it's pardon city over there.
Howard said that Joan Rivers had a manager named Dorothy who might still be around. He said she dated Phil Spector. He said that Dorothy had to testify at the murder trial. He said that Joan came on the show and talked about Spector pulling a gun at one of her parties. He had a clip from that show where Joan talked about that.
Howard said another thing was that Latoya Jackson says that he had a lot of peep holes in his house so he could watch people in the bathroom.
Howard said that he'd ask Robin to sing ''Baby Please Come Home'' Fred played her singing that song. Howard said some people say this is what broke Phil. He said he couldn't believe it.
Robin said she has a question. She asked if knowing how Phil's story turns out should people have indulged his craziness all these years. Howard said of course not. He said this is what happens when people are indulged. He said he started to believe that he was an amazing person. He said that he thought he could do anything. He said it goes to your head. He said the guy went insane. He said maybe he was always insane.
Robin said there was never a consequence until he finally killed someone. Robin said you look at it and wonder if it was worth it. Howard said if you see a guy fire a live round you'd think you'd tell him he has to leave. He said you'd kick someone like that out. He said everything is a joke and everything is excused. He said he'll leave it up to you to decide if you like those songs he produced.
Howard took a call from fake Phil Spector from Heaven who was shooting the angels up there if they didn't do things right up there.
Howard said that he has a lot more show to get to. He said he has to take a break before they get to more and to Dr. Agus. They went to break after Howard did a live commercial read.
Howard came back and said he's a Kelly Clarkson fan. He said he thinks that song is catchy. He sang along with it a little bit. He said he likes this song and he's not ashamed of that. Robin said it's a good song. Howard said he likes that Taylor Swift song too. He said she keeps coming up with good songs. He said this one is called Exile. He said Taylor Swift sings that with Bon Iver. He said that one is good too. Howard said he heard she wrote this one with her boyfriend and Bon Iver.
Howard wondered if she's good in bed. He said that he's not sure if she can really let herself go. Robin said she thinks it just happens for her. She said she may not even be in control. Howard said he thinks she hasn't even experienced an orgasm. He said that's just what he thinks and he has no evidence of that.
Howard told Gary to call her people and ask them to find out if she has ever had an orgasm. Gary said he's on it.
Howard said that this song was produced without any guns. He said that Taylor has been with her boyfriend for almost 4 years. He said according to the internet she's worth $365 million. He said that's a nice amount.
Robin said a lot of people are selling their catalogs for a lot of money. Howard said he and Robin have to write some songs so they can sell their catalogs. He said that she must be able to write something like this. Robin said she can write something but not like this.
Howard said Taylor's boyfriend co-wrote the song with his pseudonym. Robin asked what he does that he has to use a pseudonym. Howard said he's a British actor. Howard said he'd do that if he were her boyfriend. Robin said she has to look this guy up. Howard said his name is Joe Alwyn.
Howard said he spends his weekend looking at pictures on Daily Mail. He said he saw some Bella Thorne pictures thinking that he didn't need to see her again. He said he looks every single time though. Robin said this Joe guy is a good looking guy. Howard said turn that off now. Robin said she'll be looking for him all day.
Howard said just look at him. He said he's a regular guy and this is what regular guys look like.
Howard said the Daily Mail is great. He said they have almost nudes on there. He said it's great. He said that they have pictures of celebrities and he has to check them out. He said that he saw what J-Lo's real ass looks like. He said it wasn't the airbrushed version.
Howard said there were stories about Britney Spears and you realize that she's vapid and out of control. He said this week they had Jamie Lynn Spears on Daily Mail talking about how her cats are dead because of Tesla. He said she's upset with them because the cars are so quiet that their cars are running over their family pets. Howard said that you have to hear this girl talk. He said she sounds like someone tied her up and knocked her on the head. Howard played a clip of her rambling. Howard said she's a young girl and she should have some energy. Robin said you wonder what she's on based on that. Howard said she sounds half asleep. He said get peppy.
Robin asked why she would make a video like this. Howard said the video is infuriating. He said that her parents are named Jamie and Lynn so that's how she got her name.
Howard played more of the audio of Jamie Lynn talking about how many cats she's lost because of the quiet Tesla cars. She said that maybe they could make a noise so the cats know. Howard said that it's so absurd. He said that Beth wanted him to talk about this because first of all keep your fucking cats in the house. He said that's what they tell people to do on Beth's Instagram. He said that cats die much earlier if they're outdoor cats.
Howard said if you keep killing cats that way then stop getting cats. Howard said how about honking the horn if you're really concerned. He said the Tesla has more remote cameras on it than any other car. He said just look out for the cats. He said they got all upset about this.
Robin said with her lethargic way of speaking maybe she shouldn't be behind the wheel. Howard said this video caused a backlash. He said Jamie got on and said she did not run over any cats. He said that she said that Tesla is not to be blamed either. He said that she said they always look for animals before moving a car.
Howard said that was very Trumpian. He said she said they've killed a bunch of cats but then back pedaled and said she hasn't killed any. Howard said that's a weird apology. He said that's like a Sal apology. He did his impression of Sal making his apology. He said they may need to play that. He said what a weird apology that was.
Howard said Trump is treating Rudy like he's a contractor from Jersey. He said that now he has to have legal representation for the Impeachment and he's having a hard time finding someone. He said that Rudy helped him do everything so he deserves that money.
Robin said that he was there for him through this whole thing. Howard said he'd love to see them on The Peoples Court with Judge Judy. He said it's actually Judge Marilyn now. He did an impression of Rudy talking about what he wants from Trump. Howard said according to the NY Times he was asking for $20,000 a day. Howard said he deserves that. Mike said he told Trump that they'd just work it out at the end of the whole thing.
Howard did more of his Rudy impression and thanked Mike for the call. Mike said that Trump could get out of it just saying that Rudy is out of his mind, just look at the crazy stuff he's been saying. Howard said Rudy was his hero after 9/11. He said he thinks that can't be the same guy out there now. He said he was amazing as their mayor. He said he chooses to remember that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had a nightmare trip into New York. He said Florida is a joke right now. Howard said he can't take these stories right now. He said that we have to wear masks. He said that this country is so fucked up right now. He said they're a bunch of spoiled brats. He said he wants to pretend that people know that wearing a mask is good for their fellow man. Howard said he can't take it anymore. He said he doesn't want to hear these stories.
The caller said that his anxiety was through the roof. Howard said he has to get out. He said he's so happy being in his house. He said this quarantine took him out of society and it's great. He said he doesn't have to see anyone and he has no more OCD rituals and he's not stressed out. He said he has no anxiety at all. He said that this is the healthiest he's ever been. He said he can't tell who's crazy and who isn't. Robin said you used to be able to tell by who had a job or not.
Howard said he hears people saying they think Trump won the election and he knows who he's dealing with. He said that they think the economy was much better. He said they didn't make more money though.
Howard asked how the economy is right now. He said this song is great. He had Bowie's ''I'm Afraid Of Americans'' playing. Howard said what was making him nuts was going to work at SiriusXM every day. He said that seeing people socially and going to restaurants gave him anxiety. He said now he wonders if life can get better. He doesn't think so. He said he loves being at home. He said now Gary isn't coughing phlegm on him. Howard said he's the happiest guy on the planet now.
Howard said he had it pretty good. He said he had a driver who would weave in and out of traffic and slam on the brakes. He said that he'd leave the show and there were people who wanted to shake his hand. He said now he doesn't have to deal with that. He said leave him the fuck alone. He said now he doesn't have to have people bring him lunch. He said now he just goes upstairs to make his own. He said he needs to be alone.
Howard said at K-Rock they had a studio just for him but now he really has one for himself. He said that he's so happy. He said just leave him alone. He said it's like he's in the Twilight Zone. He said he wanted to be left alone and now people are leaving him alone. Robin said she hopes he has extra glasses. Howard said he has like 10 so he's set.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if he has plans to build a studio in Palm Springs or anywhere like that. Howard said leave him alone with that. Bobo said he's fascinated with the movements of the Roomba. He said he got one and he loves it. Howard said that's a vacuum cleaner and he hopes he's not going to do anything freaky with it. Bobo said it's amazing that it knows where the steps are and won't fall down. Robin said he must be jealous that it's smarter than him.
Howard said it really is amazing how smart these things are. He said even when it comes to a step it knows not to go there. He said it's amazing technology. He said he's sure that if Robin's grandparents came back to life that their heads would explode.
Howard asked Robin what invention she would show someone who came back from the dead. Robin said she thinks that the most revolutionary thing is an electric self driving car or the Roomba. Howard said maybe the internet. Robin said they have come a long way.
Howard said how about video conferencing. Robin said that's something too. She said that you can make a phone call with a picture. Howard asked what she would show. He said he might show YouPorn since you can get freaky shit for free. He said that maybe the black president. Robin said that might be the thing you do. She said that wasn't make believe. Howard said that he might show Martin Luther King that. Robin said that she got to show her mother that. She said that her mother lived through the Jim Crow stuff. She said that the black women in the hospital had to get up and clean up after themselves when they gave birth. She sad hat's why she was born at home.
Robin said on election night when Obama was elected she said that she got to call her mother and ask if his ever thought she'd see something like that. She said she was overwhelmed by that moment.
Howard asked Robin if she would show the black president or the Roomba to someone coming back. Robin said the black president. Howard said how about Alexa or YouPorn. Robin said how about one of those smart houses that turns on the lights for you. Robin said that would blow their mind. Howard said he'd show them the 1000 Pound Sisters. He said that's what he'd show. He said we have so much food here that people can get that heavy.
Howard asked Jason what he ate for breakfast. Jason said it was a chocolate chip muffin that was smaller than his computer mouse. He said that he tried to make it last as long as he could.
Howard asked what he used to eat. Jason said recently he had switched to yogurt but before that he was eating eggs bacon and toast. Howard said he must have eaten more than that to get as fat as he is. Jason said breakfast was easy. He said that it's the rest of the day is what would put the weight on. He said he was eating all day.
Howard said he should just tape his mouth shut after breakfast. Bobo asked why he doesn't get hypnotized. Howard said he just needs to stop eating. He hung up on him.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked if he's upset that Jason cut the line just because he smokes and he's fat. Howard said everyone has to get vaccinated and he thinks there should be enough out there by now to get everyone done. He said you have to apply on these web sites. Ralph said he started smoking again so he can get on the list. Howard said he thinks there is hope out there. He said the new president comes in tomorrow. He said he's already committed to getting the vaccine out there. Ralph said the army should be distributing it. Robin said he's right about that.
Howard said that we had a president in office who didn't' care about this whole virus thing. He said that he didn't do his job and he's not taking responsibility for it.
Jason said he heard that Ralph was thrown off of Twitter permanently. Howard asked how that happened. Ralph said he's not sure. He said people make him nuts. He said that he was really depressed in December and people were setting him off. He said he really doesn't know what it was. He said that it could have been a few things that he said on there. He said that he would mention Jack on there when he'd point out how long they waited to ban Trump. Howard said that they had no problem banning Ralph because he criticized Twitter. Jason said that's not the reason. He said he just knows that he did something.
Howard said when you do a radio show you're held responsible for what you say. He said that if he says something on this show that he'd be held responsible. He said he'd get fired if he told people to riot in the Capitol. Robin said that he has a contract that says he has to do certain things.
Howard asked why Twitter, Facebook or whoever isn't held legally responsible for writing down something libelous or slanderous. He said they should be held to the same standard of the NY Times and things like that. Jason said the answer is that section 230 thing that says they're not responsible. He said if they were then anonymous posts would go away.
Howard said that he sees no difference. Robin said the NY Times hires their writers and tells them what the rules are. Robin said on Twitter there are no rules. Ralph said they will have to make rules soon enough.
Howard said that he has to go. Ralph said he's much more calm now that he's not on Twitter. He said he will look into why he was banned but he doesn't know.
Howard said he has to do this. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said this is a great song. He said this is ZZ Top. He said one of the guys he loves to bring on is Dr. Agus who now has a great theme song. He played him in with the song parody. Howard said he and his wife went around singing that all weekend. He said it's very catchy. He said that it's number 1 on the charts. He said he has to get Dr. Agus on. He said when you walk into his office in California he plays that theme song. He played the song again since Dr. Agus wasn't on yet. Howard said that's his ringtone also.
Howard asked how Dr. Agus feels about that. Dr. Agus said it's a little uncomfortable. He said he has to have a sound person in his office to have that song playing over and over. Howard asked if anyone in the medical field has had a theme song. Dr. Agus said he's not sure.
Howard said he and Beth woke up this morning singing the song. He said he thinks it's very catchy and it will stick. He said he thinks it's great.
Howard said Dr. Agus always wears a dark sweater on TV. He asked why that is. Dr. Agus said that when he wrote his first book no one knew who he was. He said he sat down with Steve Jobs who told him that he should wear black and white. He said that people will focus on what you're saying instead of what you're wearing. He said that he does that now and it makes life very easy. Howard said he was inspired by Steve Jobs. He asked if that's all he has in his closet. Dr. Agus said he goes wild on the weekend. He said he wears a blue shirt and jeans on the weekend. Howard asked how many dark sweaters he has. Dr. Agus said it has to be over 10. Howard said he only wears dark clothing too. He said if you look in his closet he should just own one thing. He said he knows what he looks good in too. He said that he's like Dr. Agus. He said he didn't know Steve Jobs but he figured that out.
Howard said one of the reasons he has Dr. Agus on is because he's a calming voice. He said he has tremendous information and he's always researching. He said he always knows answers to questions they have. He said he loves having him on as the expert. He thanked him for coming on.
Howard asked what's going on with the vaccine. He said he hears people saying that people like the Moderna vaccine because it doesn't need to be refrigerated at the really low temperatures. He asked if they should be concerned about that. Dr. Agus said that they shouldn't be. He said grey both have the same outcome and they're both at room temperature when they administer it. He said there's also Johnson & Johnson and AstraZeneca which we need as well.
Howard asked why there's such a shortage of the vaccine right now. He said he's been blaming Trump. He said he thinks that Biden is going to take over and get it in control by the government. Dr. Agus said that he thinks that it will be taken over by the administration and they will have more federal involvement. He said in Israel they are doing it age by age and they're down to the age of 40 already.
Dr. Agus said that they're going to have vaccines that don't have to be refrigerated like the two that are out now and they will also have some that won't have allergic reactions. He said that they won't have to watch people for 30 minutes. He said Biden is saying he wants to do 100 million vaccines in 100 days. He said he thinks it'll be possible when the new vaccines come out.
Howard asked why they need to be refrigerated at these low temperatures. Dr. Agus said it's a different technology. He said they have this RNA tech that will degrade very rapidly when it's not frozen. He said the Johnson & Johnson will be one of the new types.
Howard asked if he gets the vaccine does he need to get the same one as the second one or not. Dr. Agus said you do. He said you don't have to do it in exactly the right time. He said it can be later on. He said they do want to get everyone vaccinated so they can put it off for a couple of weeks.
Howard said they say if you get one shot you have 60 percent immunity. He asked what that means. He asked if you can get COVID and then have less symptoms or what. Dr. Agus said it means it's your total immunity as if you had gotten two shots. He said that it will down modulate your response so you can have milder symptoms. He said that will help with people being hospitalized. He said it's crazy to him that these vaccines haven't been put into people's arms and they're sitting in freezers around the country.
Howard asked why it is that they don't have the vaccine out there. Dr. Agus said that the hospitals are overwhelmed and they have a limit on the number of people to help. He said some states have horrible software systems to get people registered. He said it can take a lot of time to do and they did not plan it well. He said he thinks that they're going to have a re-jiggering of the whole process when Biden takes over tomorrow.
Howard asked who at the Biden administration he's talking to and if they're listening more than the Trump administration does. Dr. Agus said he has to work with any administration. He said he got to know Biden when Obama asked him to be on the board of directors for this cancer moon shot thing. Howard asked what that is. Dr. Agus said he met him at a conference. He said that they sat at this session and he told them about how elephants don't get cancer. He said that Obama was calling him Elephant Man when he saw him because he had forgotten his name. He said that they wanted to make things happen quicker in Washington so that's what they were talking about. He said the people they're working with at the Biden team are some of those people. He said that they have a great team at work there now. He said they're working with vaccines around the world and he has a window into what's going on out there. He said he tries to convey that to them so they can make the right decisions.
Howard said Dr. Agus is being heard now and Biden wants to govern and wants to hear the cures and how to do things. He said this guy is going to take charge and this is what government is meant to be. Dr. Agus said it is very nice that they are listening and he's happy.
Howard said he's getting emotional now. He said this guy wants to get us out of this mess by using the government. He said this guy is appointing people who want to do the job. He said he cares. He said this is wonderful news. Dr. Agus said it is. He said he knows that the has to be tough and some people aren't going to be happy about his mask mandate. He said he has to be tough and he cares about getting things done and saving lives so that will benefit us in the long run.
Howard said COVID is out of control in California right now and he's shocked by it. He said that one in 3 people have it and he wonders what's going wrong out there. Dr. Agus said it's scary. He said that it's like something out of the TV show MASH with the people on ventilators in the hallways. He said they have a different strain out there and it's spreading very rapidly. He said that they may be caused by the gatherings they had during the holidays. He said the new strains are going to be the dominant strains. Howard asked if the vaccine is going to work against the vaccines. He asked if we will be protected. Dr. Agus said early on no one had COVID. He said this virus can change one percent in a day. He said a good fraction has immunity from it and the virus is starting to change now. He said it's not getting more aggressive but it's getting more infectious. Howard asked if he had COVID already then he can get reinfected. Dr. Agus said it has changed so your old antibodies don't recognize it. He said that the question is if the vaccine will work. He said it will give some protection. He said it's not that bad a news though. He said they will have different vaccines and they will have changes like they do with the flu vaccine. He said that they can have a mix. He said we will win against this virus and science is coming through.
Howard asked if he gets vaccinated tomorrow and then gets the second one and he's got full protection. He asked if they know how long this will work. Dr. Agus said from what he can tell they're going to work for years but they will need to give you boosters. He said you may need it for the new strains that are coming on. He said they will be ready for those changes.
Howard said getting back to ''normal'' is going to take time. He said if this COVID is so smart that it changes from day to day then it's not going to be quick. He said the new strains are going to be dangerous. He said you can't go out to a movie. Dr. Agus said that he's asking if he's giving him permission to stay in his house forever. Howard said he does want to have dinner with him again and see his children. H said he wants to live a free life but he worries about this. He said we have to get the vaccine and get it out there. Dr. Agus said over the next months they will vaccinate the country. He said by June or July they should have 70 percent and that will help. He said the numbers will go down and then you can wear a mask when you're sick and not all the time. He said they will have lookouts for the virus out there and grey will get back to a new normal. He said he'll be able to hug people and they will get back to normal.
Howard said that's because they'll have a new government in place. He said that's what his hope is. He said they'll have experts who will stay on top of this thing.
Howard said first we have to convince people to get the vaccine. He asked what he makes of these people who refuse to get it. Dr. Agus said they have enough to want it that it'll take up the whole supply. He said he wants the people who want it to get it. He said you have companies like Live Nation who will make you show that you were vaccinated to attend concerts. He said that they can make things quicker and better than ever before and this is a very safe vaccine. He said it works and it's remarkably safe. He said it keeps you from dying and being hospitalized. He said that's what the data shows.
Howard said some people are thinking in the long run it's going to make them sick and they'll get some weird thing. Dr. Agus said he gets that but the side effects are seen in the first month and they're not seeing those things with these vaccines. He said that's really exciting. He said the virus is a nasty devil. He said even if you're Asymptomatic you can still have long term issues. He said that we're going to lose another 400,000 people over the next few months. Howard said they don't know if people are going to have long lasting effects if they're Asymptomatic.
Dr. Agus said he was vaccinated early on because he's a doctor and he feels guilty about that. He said that he got it and he got part 2. He said after both of those he had a fever and felt fatigued but he took Tylenol and he was fine. He said that it wasn't traumatic at all. He said he feels protected and that he's protecting his patients. He said it was very emotional to him that he was able to be healthy during this pandemic.
Howard asked if the Biden administration is going to throw money at this thing. He asked if they're going to pay for new equipment or what. Dr. Agus said early on the current administration said they wanted anyone who can make a vaccine to make it. He said there are over 190 companies making it. He said he thinks that what they're going to do is have those companies make the vaccine. He said they may convert those places to make the COVID vaccine. He said grey will make it for us and for the globe.
Howard said he's saying that this vaccine will last a couple of years but they need a booster every once in a while. He said if he gets the vaccine then he can not worry about going on a ventilator. He said that he's going to have something like a cold. Dr. Agus said that's what it is and that's what people don't understand. He said you still have to wear a mask. He said that's what people don't understand. He said that we want to stop the spread of the virus. He said that we need to keep wearing masks a few months past the vaccine. He said that you still have to practice the things they've been doing the past 11 months. He said we have to do that until there's no virus in the country. He said this new strain is very infectious and it can take half the time to infect someone who is around it. He said we have to pay attention even more now than ever to wearing the mask.
Howard said if he gets the vaccine he still has to be careful with other people around them. He said it's going to be a big effort.
Howard asked when he thinks that they'll see most of the country vaccinated. Dr. Agus said he thinks by this summer. He said he wants kids to be able to go to school by next school year. He said they have to get it done by summer.
Howard said that some people are sending their kids to school and some aren't. He said it's mass confusion. He said he thinks that we'll see more organization with this new administration. He said it's an effort that we all have to get on board with. He said he hopes we have a national mask mandate. He said we have to have it.
Howard asked if the rumors about people getting sterile or what's the deal with pregnant women taking it. Dr. Agus said pregnant women can take it. He said they have encouraging data about that. He said you do have to have that conversation with your doctor. He said they have some data to back that up and the fertility thing is all made up. He said there is no effect on that at all. He said that's at a zero. Howard said his kids ask about that. He said everything he's saying is making him hopeful.
Robin asked if a woman who is breast feeding will confer her immunity to her child. Dr. Agus said yes. He said for that first year they do confer some of that immunity so that's great.
Howard asked if Dr. Agus has a few more minutes for him. Dr. Agus said sure. Howard said he's a brilliant man and he's blessed to have him in his life. Howard said he has a number you can text him at. He said that number is (310) 299-9322. He said he sends out regular updates too. He said he has read his books twice at least. He said they're that good. He said check those out too.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked Dr. Agus about her husband going to get the vaccine on Monday but he's on antibiotics. She wondered if he can take it. Dr. Agus said he thinks if the infection he has is under control then yes. He said if it's still a problem then usually he'd say no.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how they can make sure that this is a good thing for the African American community and to let them know. Dr. Agus said that he thinks that every culture has their leaders and they have to reach out to those leaders and educate them. He said he is doing a session with different groups and the more they educate them they more that matters. He said if he can speak to a leader that trusts him then he can get the behavior changed. He said he thinks that people are stepping up now. He said this is no longer political. He said that before now it was political. He said that he thinks that people will have new attitudes in this country now.
Howard said he can't tell him how excited he is about what he just said. He said this guy believes in science and wants to do the right thing. He said we need that leadership right now. Dr. Agus said this is like a war on our soil.
Howard asked about people who have an Epipen and if they can take this vaccine. Dr. Agus said there are a few people who have had reactions to the vaccine but they can use their Epipen and it helps. He said the virus outweighs the risk of the vaccine.
Howard asked what the dumbest thing he's heard about the vaccine so far. Dr. Agus said the theory about there being a tracker in there that Bill Gates wants to track you with. He said that it's not rushed science. He said it's impressive the way this thing works. He said no steps were skipped. He said it's as safe as any other vaccine.
Howard asked if he has any patients who thinks this was rushed. Dr. Agus said patients choose doctors based on those belief systems. He said he gets those texts and tweets thrown at him but they're not from his patients. He said it's from the people on social media.
Dr. Agus said that they are having this long form discussion about this and they don't do that ton social media. He said this is a service that Howard is providing to the country right now. Howard said this is very comforting to hear. He said people want this information in seconds but this is the way they should do it.
Howard asked why it is that elephants don't get cancer. Dr. Agus said they have 40-50 times more cells than we do. He said that cancer is made to knock us off in our 30s or 40s. He said that elephants have this gene that has corrected their DNA. He said they can't afford to lose each other to that so their DNA keeps it from happening. He said we can learn from that and learn how to make us live longer.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's a transplant patient and she's wondering about the vaccine for her. Dr. Agus said that it's amazing that science has done that for her life. He said that there is no harm in her getting that vaccine. He said there is no live part of the virus in there. He said they don't know if it'll be as effective in someone like that. He said there is a new vaccine coming out from AstraZeneca that is meant for people like her. He said that we need the herd immunity to protect people like her.
Howard asked why it is that we don't know the names of the people who come up with this stuff. He said imagine that they figured out how this works and they can keep people alive who get transplants.
Dr. Agus told Howard how the first vaccine came up. He said this guy Edward Jenner saw that women who would milk cows would get pocks on their arms from milking cows and they wouldn't get sick. He said that he went to the king of England and wanted to draw the pus out of their arms and give it to people. He said the king kicked him out. He said that he had a dream that night about King Solomon and he calls up Jenner and tells him if he injects his own son then he'll believe. He said Jenner did it. He said the first people to get that vaccine were the King and his family. He said there's a sculpture of Jenner giving his son his injection. He said he asked for a copy of that and they're actually making it for him. Howard said that good leadership can really help and he thinks that's what his point was.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's a public defender and she has had COVID but she's not on the list for people who should be on the list of people to be vaccinated first. She asked if he thinks there's a way of doing that. Dr. Agus said that people who are on the front lines should be and he's going to take that to the administration and let them know. Howard said that's great that he's going to do that. Dr. Agus said what she does is fantastic for us. The caller said that makes her want to cry. She said people don't think about them until they need them. Howard told Lindsay to call back on a non Dr. Agus day so they can talk about her being married to a woman.
Howard said they had a discussion about the vaccine this morning. He said Jason got his vaccine because he's obese. Howard said it does seem like things are kind of weird. He said that you're almost rewarded for bad behavior.
Dr. Agus said the biggest thing is age. He said they're going decade by decade in some countries. He said that's working for them. He said that what we need to do is make things simple and that would be by going by age. He said they should do the front line people first. He said then they can do it by decade and by age.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Dr. Agus getting ill after the vaccine means that he's spreading the virus. Dr. Agus said here is no live virus in there so it was just his immune response to the vaccine and that can not spread it to anyone.
The caller asked if it's safe to wrap your penis with tissues to keep it from dripping. Howard said Dr. Agus didn't need to know that about him.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she got COVID and her husband got it. she said that she's wondering when teenagers will be able to get it. Dr. Agus said they have trials going now but they won't have that data for a month or so. He said most of the time kids don't get that sick but they may be able to start that in May or so.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he stopped smoking a couple of years ago. He said in New Jersey you can get vaccinated if you smoke. He asked if that's fair. Howard said Dr. Agus just said it's not.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was in a coma back in March when he got COVID. He said he had to learn to walk and talk and eat again. He said he's wondering if he should take the vaccine or not. Howard said this is a good question. He said people assume that they're immune if they had it. Dr. Agus said that it makes people realize that this virus is real and dangerous. He said he does need the vaccine. He said that they're not sure that the antibodies are going to do anything. He said if you get it again it can be worse. He said if you had it previously then you should get it. He said you may want to wait a few months before getting it. He said if you have had it over 6 months ago then you need a vaccine.
Howard said he's glad he had him on the show today. He said he got to play his very catchy theme song. He said he's a very calming voice too. He said this will go a long way with people. He said we have an administration that wants to take care of this and throw expertise into the fight against COVID.
Howard gave Dr. Agus more plugs for his number and his books. Howard said he's very happy he came on and that he got to play his song. Robin thanked him for his service. Dr. Agus thanked them for putting him on as well. He said he's hoping that he gets to have dinner with them again sometime soon. Howard said he's going to get him a new black sweater. He said he's going to play him out with his theme song. Howard played it for him and let Dr. Agus go. He said he's a true blessing. Dr. Agus said he loves them both.
Robin said that man is the greatest. Howard said he really is. He said he's phenomenal. Robin said he is. She said she doesn't know anyone else like him. Howard said here would be no show without him because he saved Robin. He said he became key in that battle. He said it was a miracle.
The caller said he felt the same after hearing that. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's a teacher and the way things are set up in her class doesn't make sense. She said they have partitions set up but the air goes around all of that. Howard told her to just hang in there while this new administration gets to work. The caller said that she's not sure why she's not an essential worker in Texas. Howard said just hold on another 24 hours. He said we're going to have a federal government that gives a shit again. He said he knows there are 75 million of you out there who think he's insane but he thinks you're insane.
Robin said that those people thought COVID was going to go away after this election was over. She asked what they're saying now. Howard said they say a lot of dumb shit.
Howard said he has a lot to get to but they can do it tomorrow. He said they have a couple of things they can get to. He said they'll have another Year in Review.
Howard said he has his vintage Herman Munster puppet that Rob Zombie gave to him. He said he's afraid to work it. Robin said that thing that she sent him that creates ozone water could have been squirted all over it and it would be sterilized now.
Howard did his Herman Munster impression and said he would have killed for this when he was a kid. Robin said things can be cleaned so he could clean it.
Howard said he bets that Ronnie feels better today after hearing Dr. Agus. Ronnie said he's still nervous but he will get it. He said he's afraid that he'll have a reaction to it. Ronnie said he's doing it so calm down. He said he's calling today to get it. He said he'll let him know how he feels tomorrow.
Howard said he knows that it's crazy to not want to stick his hand in the puppet. He said imagine if he died from that though. He said that it could happen.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he appreciates that interview. He asked if they could release it on other channels on Sirius. He said they have 35 million listeners so grey could get the word out. Howard said he'd be fine with that if Sirius wants to do it. He said he's up for anything.
Howard said tomorrow is another day. He said they're going to have a very fast paced show tomorrow. He said he's going to do everything he didn't get to today.
Howard said he didn't read the fan mail. He said he'll do that really quick. He said they talked to Charlie the shit guy last week. He said that he told Beth about him and she wondered why he told her about it. He said sometimes he forgets that he lives with a woman. He found it funny but she didn't. Howard read some feedback about Charlie and how gross he was. He said that people were asking him not to have him on the show again.
Howard said they met Charlie through Wolfie who meet him at the Ball Bash. He said Wolfie said that Charlie sent him some of his favorite porn and he has some clips. Howard played a clip of some women squeezing the balls of a guy who was chained up on a cross. The guy was screaming like Benjy. Howard laughed as it played.
Howard said Robin received praise for her witty comebacks for Charlie. He read through some of that.
Howard said that they talked about Sal last week a lot. He had some feedback about that and some people can't get enough of him.
Howard said that Sal is an ongoing project and he's sure they'll hear more about him over the next few years. Robin said they'll get it all out about him over the next 5 years.
Howard said that Bobo's car crash had a lot of feedback. Howard said that he told his side of the story of his crash and he got some feedback goofing on him about that. Howard read through some of that.
Howard said that people were upset with Jason for goofing on Ronnie about not wanting to get the vaccine and talking about science. Some people pointed out that he's a fatso and he should know better because he's overweight. Howard said he has a lot more things to get to but he'll have to do them tomorrow. He said he has a Wendy the Slow Adult update and an Underdog woman update. He said there's always tomorrow. He said as a bonus they'll have Donald Trump and Joe Biden call in tomorrow to talk about the transfer of power. Robin said that she was impressed that he was staying until the last day. She said he really did like being president. Howard said he did everything he could to keep being president. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:20am.
Howard said he was talking about Phil and the group The Ronettes and the Crystals. He said he saw that Lala Brooks is on the phone and she was in The Crystals.
Howard took Lala's call and asked if she was 13 when she started working with Phil. Lala said she was discovered by one of the girls in the group and she joined it when she was 13. She said she was 12 and a half when she was discovered. She said they used to do some recreation stuff and she started singing when someone was playing piano and they heard her singing. She said that she talked to her mom and that's history. She said that she had a guardian on the road with her when she was on tour.
Howard said it's an amazing story. He said he never would have imagined anyone picking him out like that. Howard asked how soon the song ''Da Doo Ron Ron'' came out. Lala said she was 15 when it came out. She said she was just 13 when she joined it. She said they had just one song out when she joined. Lala said she turned 13 when she did her first tour with James Brown.
Howard asked if Lala became a brat or did she have her head screwed on straight. Lala said he did. she said she grew up in Brooklyn and they were from all nationalities there. She said she was on the Dick Clark show and her mother was a window watcher. She said that her mother would watch people in their window. She said she was walking down the street and she had an adult put his arm around her and she told him not to touch her. She said her mother saw this and this guy was just really proud of her. Lala said her reacting to this and she asked what their neighbor told her. She said that she saw her attitude and asked her who she thinks she is. She said if she ever did that then she'll never be on stage again. She said she was never a cocky person again after that. Howard said her mom set her straight.
Howard asked Lala about working with Phil Spector and if he was ever inappropriate with her. Lala said that when you're a child you don't think about the gun thing. She said she was just 13 and she had the mind of a 12 year old. She said she was in the studio and Phil had a gun in his holster. She said she thought that was kind of cool but she had no idea. She said she didn't know if they were loaded or not. She said her brothers would do the same thing with guns so that's what he was doing in her mind.
Howard said it's so weird because this guy was a genius with the music thing but he was kind of a screwball. He said that you remember him for the great music he worked on. He asked if she remembers him fondly since he helped put her on the charts. Lala said that when he passed away she got a call from her agent and she was in the middle of the emotional thing. She said she felt stupid for feeling emotional. She said she was just 13 and Phil was good to her at that time. She said that she thinks that Phil had a bad childhood with his father committing suicide when he was just 8. She said his mother was very passive and she was married to a first cousin and there were stories like that in his life. She said that he had a lot of stories about how bad his childhood. She said that ''To Know him is to Love Him'' was written about his dad. She said that's on his tombstone.
Howard asked if she blames Phil for being ripped off in the record business. Lala said they made millions off of that. She said something about Mariah Carrey's album and how they took that from their album.
Lala said that she thinks that Phil made millions off of them and they could have given them more. She said that she remembers getting $1000 and they all cashed their check. She said she had a lot of hurt and pain from being poor. She said that she called his office and she thought about how much money they must be making. She said that she didn't want to sue him because he treated her so well. She said that none of them really got anything out of it.
Howard said that they were talking about Phil and how he got away with murder. He said because he was so talented people would put up with his behavior. He said he shot a gun off around John Lennon and John told him to kill him or just don't shoot around him because it could ruin his hearing. He said it's odd how fame and talent can let you get away with things.
Lala said she thinks being around Phil so much Sonny Bono had to say yes to a lot of things that he didn't want to. She said that she'd be in the studio and there would be 40 musicians in there and Phil could sit in that booth and know which player was coming in too late or too quick or whatever. She said Glenn Campbell was in the studio a lot with Phil and Phil would call him out a lot too. She said he was a genius being able to pick those players out.
Howard asked Lala about the recording sessions they had and if they were all nighters. Lala said she would be tired from being up so late. She said she'd go to the studio at 1 in the afternoon and be up until 5 in the morning. She said they'd be out eating at 6. She said that she was afraid to say anything about it if grey had to stay up that late. Lala said Phil wouldn't think about the food and things like that. She said she'd get something out of the vending machine while everyone else was out getting food. Lala said Phil didn't eat so he didn't think about anyone else.
Howard asked if it was normal for a recording session to go from noon to 4am. Lala said it was. She said she was just a kid so she didn't know what to do about that.
Howard said it's really good to talk to Lala. He said he didn't know she was a fan. Lala said she loves the show. She said everyone listens to him. Howard thanked her for remembering Phil and sharing some of those stories. He said she's the best. He let her go after that. Howard said he loves the name Lala too. He said it's such a sexy name. He said when he hears that name he wants to have sex with you.
Howard said Fran was on David Letterman's show once and she was so great on that show. He said she's very quiet so you have to work her a bit. He said she's very funny and witty. He said she had just come back from Japan and she was talking about everyone wearing masks over there. She said that she told Letterman that was a perfect place for her because of the mask wearing thing. He said Letterman asked where her hypochondria comes from and she said ''A fear of disease.'' He said he thought that was great and it made him dig her. He said he thought it was really funny. He said he recommends watching that documentary.
Howard said he brought Fran up because she was talking about artists and musicians in this documentary. He said she was talking about how if you're brilliant at something you have to hate it. He said she hates being a writer. He said he was thinking about how he loves radio but he hates it. He said he hates it because he cares so much about it. He said he doesn't want to be good at something, he wants to be great at it. He said if you want to be great at something you have to really put a lot of work into it. He said he has people tell him they're in radio and they love it. He said if they say that he knows they're not good at it. He said they're treating it like it's no big deal. He said they should care about their audience but they really don't.
Howard said some people don't go the full effort and distance. He said the real painters labored over every detail. He said that's how they became great. He said Fran Lebowitz said she took up the cello and she gave it up because she knew she couldn't be great at it. He said it's like Eddie Van Halen. He said he had more talent at guitar than anything else. He said he was insanely driven with that. He said he probably wasn't the greatest when he started out but he kept going.
Howard said he can't handle being good at something. He said he wants to be great. He said he tried chess and he wasn't great at it. He said that's why he gave it up.
Howard said he doesn't enjoy painting. He said that's how he knows that he could be great at it. He said he thinks he sucks and he's not good. He said that he spends a lot of time on it but he hates that he sucks so bad. He said that he won't stop working on it though. He said that's the only way to get great at it.
Howard said that Fran is a great writer because he hates doing it. He said that he's not sure where he was going with this. He said that there are so many great stories about rock and roll. Robin said maybe he was going somewhere with Phil. Howard said maybe he was.
Howard said Fran was also saying that music gets us all. He said that's so true. He said music has such an effect on his mood. He said that they all relate to music and they don't know why as human beings that is. Robin said that's so true. She said she's not sure why she feels that way.
Howard said he thought that the Beatles were more important to him than religion. He said they gave him more inspiration in life than anything else. He said that you have to hide your emotions from yourself but the music would break through that. He said he wanted to be like them. He said that no one was able to speak to him like their music did. He said they spoke to him. He said he'd go out and listen to anything they had to say.
Howard said Fran makes all of these points and that's what he was getting at. Robin said that it is incumbent on an audience to expand their view.
Ralph said he found out that you can become a judge without being a lawyer. He said that she inspired him when she said that. He wants to be a judge now.
Howard said Ralph got kicked off of twitter recently and he asked why that was. He said Ralph claimed he didn't know why. He said he has to know. He said he and Jimmy were talking last night about Ralph and he thinks that Ralph knows exactly why he was kicked off. Howard said he asked the guys to find out why he was kicked off. He said they'll read his last 20 tweets to figure it out. Ralph said it could be one of any of the last 20 tweets. Howard asked him to read them to him then. Ralph said he can't log into his account. Howard didn't know that.
Howard said he's got to know why he was kicked off. Ralph said the full story is that about a month ago he wrote something and they sent him an email saying take it down. He said he took it down. He said he doesn't know exactly what it was. He said it was something about this horrible person that Cuomo was involved with. He said they sent that to him. Howard asked how he doesn't know. Ralph said it was someone who had done something horrible. He said that he gave permission to them to kill this person so they asked him to take that down. He said that was his first warning.
Howard said that Ralph is a guy he used to have in his home. He said he enjoys hanging out with him. He said he had to banish him from his home because he'd have him over and he'd repeatedly say things to people at his house. He said he's not a snob so he'd have Ralph over. Howard said keep in mind that OJ is still on Twitter and Ralph isn't. Robin said no one is putting up with his bullshit. Howard said he did.
Howard said every time Ralph would come over he he'd have an incident. He said whatever it was he was doing it was an issue. He said he'd get into fights with his guests. Ralph said it sounds like Howard is the idiot and not him. Howard said he might be.
Howard said he'd ask Ralph not to bring a glass to the pool and he'd bring one to the pool. He said he'd get into fights with people all the time. He said Beth would ask if he would bring him back and he'd say no way. Howard said he thinks Twitter finally came to their senses with this guy. Ralph said he felt so bad about that incident at his house. Howard said he was enabling him.
Howard said the things that he does gets him in trouble. He said that one guy wanted to fight him. He said he'd have him over and he'd want to have lunch when no one else was eating. He said he has to keep repeating this so he won't have him over again.
Howard said he has a different way of doing things. He said he won't fight with people when he's at other people's houses. Ralph pointed out some things that he did at Gary's house that weren't so great. Howard said Ralph left a cigarette burning on a bar that he was renting and he burned the bar. Howard said this is just the stuff off the top of his head.
Ralph said he's sorry. He asked what else he wants. Howard said like being at his house when he goes on Twitter there's a certain way to act. He said you know you can't say go ahead and kill someone. Ralph said he knows. He said there are people on there that he has blocked because they have said things about Howard. He said he got sucked into this stuff. Howard said they didn't even kick him off for that. He asked what got him kicked off.
Ralph said he doesn't know. He said he didn't look for it to figure it out. Robin asked if he can look it up now. Ralph told them to hold on. Howard said this is a major thing. He said he has to figure it out. Howard said Trump was kicked off for inciting the riot at the Capitol. He said he wants to know why Ralph was kicked off. Howard said they were so close to losing democracy with that whole thing. He said there are no repercussions for what Trump was trying to do. Ralph asked why they didn't kick him off when his people tried to kidnap that governor. He said it's too late for them to kick him off now.
Ralph said he can't believe what people are getting away with. He said he's much calmer now that he's off Twitter. Howard said he has to know why he was kicked off. He said Bill Cosby is in prison but his Twitter is still active. He said he has done terrible things to people and he can still get on there. He said he understands the rules better than Ralph.
Howard asked what he did to get kicked off. Ralph said he can't figure it out. He said he's looking. Howard asked JD if he knows why Ralph was kicked off. JD said its not about what he tweets but how he tweets. He said he double spaces it all so you can't miss it. He said he can pick out a Ralph tweet when he's scrolling. Howard asked why he puts it all in caps and double spaces it. Ralph said he puts space so he can read it easier. He said that he emphasizes it by putting it caps. He said he's not asking for people to follow him so if they don't like it then they don't have to follow him.
JD said that Ralph may have used the term animals with the protestors at the Capitol and that may have gotten him into trouble. Ralph said he's not sure what he means. He said he may have called them animals but what's wrong with that. JD said he was talking about them and the people who were protesting during the summer. He said the people who were protesting police brutality. Ralph said if they were so annoying why did he follow him. JD said he's just fucking around.
Howard said that Ralph sees his Twitter as a job. He said he got fired from the job he wasn't getting paid to do. Howard asked if he was looking for a way to get paid. Ralph said he wasn't. He said he might do this thing on Instagram. He said that it's just enough at a certain point. Howard asked what he would charge. Ralph said he was trying to figure out a schedule. He said he'd ask people to pay him to unblock them and things like that. He said he's not sure why he's giving away all of these gems for free.
Howard said Chris Wilding thinks that Ralph got banned for saying that the guy who runs Twitter is a Nazi collaborator. Chris said he was asking Ralph about being banned and he said he didn't know why. He said he found it odd the way he was acting. He said he asked if he said something that might get him banned. He said that's when he told him that he said that Jack Dorsey might be a Nazi collaborator because they waited to ban Trump for so long.
Ralph said that he didn't say that he was a Nazi collaborator. He said he tweeted something about them doing something too little, too late. He said they gave him a voice and that's what he said. He said he still doesn't know why he was banned. Howard said he has to know. He said this is bullshit.
Howard said he feels there are a lot of republicans who collaborated with Trump. He said that Ted Cruz is one. He said they're riling up these morons saying that the election was rigged. He said that these guys know what they're doing. He said it's really reprehensible. He said Ralph could criticize Twitter without getting thrown off. Ralph said he's 100 percent right about that. Howard said this is why he gets in trouble.
Ralph found something. He said he's going to screen shot this and post it on Instagram. He read that he violated some rule about wishing harm on someone. Howard said that you can't do the wish thing because that's what Trump was doing. Ralph said he can't see what he retweeted or what he was responding to. Howard told him to just read what they sent him. Ralph said he's reading it. He said it was something about how he gave permission to execute someone but it looked like he was saying it was okay to execute Governor Cuomo.
Howard said OJ is still on Twitter after he said something about the capitol riots. He said that he may have killed two people and he knows how it finesse things. He said Ralph doesn't get it.
Howard said that Chris is very close to Ralph so do these conversations infuriate him. Ralph said that Chris may be closer to him than Howard is. He said Chris actually texts him back and calls him. Howard said he's not going to text him about his clothing. Ralph said he let him know that Bill Maher was back up. Howard said he had already seen Bill Maher. Howard said he was trying to hold together 50 things and he's not going to text him back about that. He said he's not TV Guide.
Ralph said there have been many times that he's thanked him for letting him know about something. Howard said he's not anti-Ralph. He said he loves how he's threatening him like that. He said it's like him threatening that he's not going to come to his house ever again.
Robin said Ralph is the one complaining about not getting a text back. Howard said he got the message. Ralph said he's very needy during this pandemic. He said he's on medication because of it. Howard asked what he's on. Ralph said it's something light. Howard said he loves how he doesn't know anything. Ralph said he's not sure he wants to discuss it. He said he'll tell him later if he wants to. Howard said he's on medication and he doesn't know what he's taking. Ralph said it's a light anti-depressant. He said he's not sure what it's called. Howard said he doesn't know anything. He said there's a pattern here.
Ralph said if he wants to know what it is he'll go look it up. Howard asked him to find out. Ralph went to find it. Howard said he should blame his Tweet on the medication. Howard said he should just give weather reports on his Twitter account. Chris said he did that. He said he was fantastic on there. He said it was weather and death threats.
Howard said this medication must be a new thing. Ralph said it's not a heavy duty thing. He said it's just something to calm him down a little bit. He said it's not as heavy as Jason's Lexapro. Howard asked what it is. Ralph said he's looking for it.
Howard asked if Ralph was one of those guys who posited pictures of his breakfast. Chris said he would. He said he's going to miss him on there.
Howard said he doesn't like people who tweet pictures of what they eat. He said that Fran Lebowitz said that she doesn't like that people feel the need to share everything they make. She said that people think everything they do is great. He said it's not though.
Ralph said people love pictures of food. He said he doesn't understand it either. Chris showed a picture that Ralph posted of his breakfast.
Howard said Ralph would have made a great wife for him. He said he should have married him. Ralph said he should have. He said he's going to post on Instagram from now on.
Chris said that he and Ralph figured out a way that haters could see what they wrote before they blocked them. He said that he wrote to him in a DM and you can see that it says ''seen'' so they block people as soon as they see that. Howard said it's like a job being Ralph's friend.
Howard asked how often Ralph was tweeting. Ralph said some days he was getting insane and spending a lot of time on it. He said he was giving them content and that's stopped.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ralph is full of shit and he knows what medication he's on. Ralph said he's got the bottle right there and because this guy is a douche bag he's not going to say what it is. Ralph said that if he calls this guy a stupid fucking retard will he block him. Howard said no. He said the guy is making a decent point though. He said he knows what he's putting in his body. Ralph said he did research it and he checked with 2 doctors about it before taking it. He said he was on edge and he was drinking to calm down. He said he asked a doctor if there was something he could take to calm down. He said she prescribed this for him. Howard asked if he's stopped drinking. Ralph said he isn't drinking crazy. He said he had wine a couple of weeks ago. He said he was cooking and made some sauce and had a glass or so. Howard asked what the ''or so'' means. Ralph said three bottles.
Howard asked if he's going to stop calling people Nazi collaborators now that he's on this medication. Chris said that Ralph was carrying mace with him during the summer. He said he was picking fights with people not wearing masks and he wanted to be able to get away from them if they fought. Ralph said the mask wearing thing was making him crazy. He said that passed but he had mace with him just in case he said something to them that set them off.
Howard said that Ralph reminds him of Batman on a bicycle. He said he's Bicycle man. Howard said he does agree with him on the mask thing.
Howard asked what this medication is. Ralph said it's ''Bupropion'' which is a generic version of something. Howard wrote that down and tried to pronounce it. Chris said it's an anti-depressant. Howard said the generic Welbutrin. Chris said it's for major depression. Ralph said he only takes half a pill. He said he couldn't sleep with it so he had to cut it down. He said he's only taking half. Howard said he's looking at the side effect sand it says you may turn into an asshole and get banned from Twitter. Ralph joked about it making you have gay tendencies and blow guys too.
Jason got on and said that Welbutrin is a major thing. He said that he hopes he's talking to his doctor about cutting it in half because that can mess you up. He said he tried to ween off of it himself and it fucks you up bad. Ralph said that's what made him crazy and made him say things on Twitter.
Howard asked Ralph if he really needs that drug. Ralph said he didn't want to take it but he asked 100 people about it. He said sometimes he takes it and somethings he doesn't. Jason said that's so bad for you. He said he tired to get off of it himself and he felt really weird. He said he wasn't able to get off the stuff. He said he had pins and needles in his fingers and things like that.
Howard said you have to take it the way they tell you to. He said you can't just cut it in half. Howard said he had better talk to his doctor.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's willing to follow Ralph for a fee. He asked if he'd do the Cameo thing too. Ralph said sure. Howard said he has a full service thing there. Ralph said he'll give him the best Colombo episode which had William Shatner in it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has been on Welbutrin for a long time and it's not a light medication. He said it comes in many dosages but it's not light. He said Ralph is full of shit. Ralph said he's not a liar. Howard asked what he told the doctor that made him think he was depressed. Ralph said Howard is so disconnected. He said he's not going to call people up and talk about that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she was kicked off of Twitter and it was because she wrote something about a fat woman with no mask on and saying she hopes that she dies. She said this is against her first amendment rights. Ralph said it has nothing to do with your first amendment rights. The caller said it's the right to free speech. Ralph said it's a private company and that doesn't apply. The caller said Ralph shouldn't have been kicked off. Howard said if he hangs up on her he's not violating her rights. The caller said Ralph should not have been kicked off. Ralph said Twitter is in a mad scramble to gain control because it's a form or media and there's a lot of stuff coming down on them.
Howard asked Ralph to find out what it was he got kicked off for. He took a call from the pharmacist who gave him his medication. The guys had clips of Wendy the Slow Adult saying yes to all of Howard's questions about Ralph.
Robin said she tried to get a hold of Ralph at the beginning of this whole thing and she wasn't able to get him. Ralph said he texted her a few times and she didn't respond to him. He said he misses her. Robin said she misses him too.
Howard asked Ralph if he wants to read what he said. Ralph said he may have said something about someone being a retard in the second threat. He said that they banned him for 3 days. He said they said he could appeal it if he wants so he did that. He said what he wrote them back got them to take him off for like week and a half. Howard said they do say don't be your own lawyer. He said that he represented himself and got more jail time.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that his last tweet was on January 8th and he wrote something about the people at the Capitol. She said she saw that he had been banned and then he said on Instagram that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. Ralph went off on her for throwing a super spreader party during the pandemic and then she called Dr. Agus for advice. He said she's irresponsible and he doesn't want to hear it from her. Mariann said that she admits she made a mistake. The two of them talked over each other and went off on each other about what they have done. Mariann started to get worked up and started yelling.
Howard said his favorite comment was that Chris and Ralph are like Mean Girls. Chris said it's like she's a nice person. Howard said Ralph is good on that medication. He said that's what Twitter would be like if it was an audio medium. Ralph said he can't forgive her for throwing a party during a pandemic.
Robin said she's going to call Ralph. Howard said it's not easy to get him. He said he has tried and he doesn't have a lot of time to talk but he can never get him on the phone. Ralph said his phone doesn't ring.
Howard said he has to go. He said they gave him 2 hours to find that email and he didn't find it. He said he'd be shaken up if he was banned from Twitter. He said you'd think he'd want to know why. He said he has so many emails he can't locate the one in question. Howard said he would kind of remember why he was kicked off. He said Twitter is like the wild west. He said that letter is saying that Ralph is too wild for the wild west. Robin said it's like the old towns and Ralph is a gun slinger there for a fight.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she loves Ralph on the show. She said she wants more. Howard said okay. He said this must be Ralph's sister.
Howard said that he liked talking to Ralph's pharmacist. He said he does love Ralph. He said he does check up on him regularly but he didn't know he was on medication. Robin said she hasn't spoken to him since the start of the pandemic. She said she wasn't able to get a hold of him. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked where this guy Tone-Loc is now. Robin said she doesn't know. Howard was listening to the song and saying he doesn't interrupt this one. He said it's perfect. Howard said he just read that Tone is 54 years old. Robin said she just read that Monica Lewinsky is 50.
Howard said Trump flew out of Washington DC on a helicopter. He said that he made a speech yesterday and he heard that it looked heavily edited. He said that someone may have made it look more presidential. He said he really could end up in jail for inciting these people. He said that there was speculation that he was going to pardon a bunch of people like his family and himself. Robin said if he does that he might be in worse shape than leaving it all alone. Howard said this was an unusual presidency if you have to pardon your whole family. He said that it looks weird but they don't seem concerned about looks over there.
Howard said at noon today Biden will take the oath of office. He said he thinks he's going to hit the ground running with the vaccine. He said he loved Dr. Agus talking about it yesterday. He said you still have to wear your mask around other people. He said you can still get COVID. He said you should still wear a mask. He said he might be vaccinated but you can still pass it on to people. Robin said she may never stop wearing a mask. Howard said he has been healthier than ever being in his house. He said he likes not getting colds.
Howard said it is a great practice to wear a mask when you're sick. He said he loves wearing a mask because he feels handsome. He said his eyes are his best feature.
Howard said some of the nuts online think the inauguration is a trap to arrest Biden and people like Tom Hanks. He said these people are so kooky. He said they think that he's the head of a pedophiles ring. Howard said Trump will not be at the inauguration. He said people think that he's going to be putting out a message that will get everyone arrested who shows up at the inauguration.
Howard said you usually go to the inauguration to give your accomplishments over the past 4 years but grey must have though that would be a bad idea to give him a live speech.
Howard said maybe he could talk about the time he threw paper towels at the Puerto Ricans. He said maybe he could talk about the Stormy Daniels thing where he said that she has a horse face. Howard said he could talk about the time he looked into the sun during the solar eclipse. He said he liked that he questioned things like COVID and putting bleach in your body to kill the virus. Howard said he never built that wall and never got Mexico to pay for it. Robin said he did get some of the wall built. She said that he asked them not to take it down because that's his legacy.
Howard said it's inauguration day and the country is more divided than ever. He said that he has (fake) Trump and Biden on to try to patch things up. Howard got both of them on. Biden said a few words and Trump started snoring. He said he was up all night with pardons so he's tired so that put him to sleep.
Howard asked if there's going to be a peaceful transfer of power. Biden started to say something and Trump interrupted and talked about the great book he's written and how it's the best selling book of all time. Biden started to say something and Trump interrupted and talked about all of the great things he did for the country.
Howard asked Trump if he could give a peaceful message to his followers. Trump said he's telling them all to be respectful and peaceful. He asked if he can hear him winking. He said that whatever you do don't drop a bucket of diarrhea on the heads of the previous Presidents. He said if you do that then he'll pay your legal fees.
Howard said he's upset with Trump for not inviting Biden to the White House like every President does. He asked why that is. Trump said he wants no violence at the inauguration but make sure that your equipment is working and talked about what to wear when you do riot there. He said he doesn't want violence though.
Fake Biden tried to say a few more words but fake Trump interrupted and went off on Hillary. He said he still has a chance to be impeached a third time since there's a few hours left.
Howard said that he's making jokes about the impeachment but that's nothing to be proud of. He said that what he's being impeached for is inciting violence at the Capitol. Trump said he had nothing to do with that. He said he blames the radical left for that. He said the rioters were treated very badly and they were put in cages and separated from their families. He said this country is going to hell.
Howard said he says the rioters were treated badly. He asked fake Trump if he thinks that he's part of an unfair witch hunt. Trump said that it is a witch hunt by Crazy Nancy. He said they're just mad because he incited a riot where they tried to kill them.
Biden said a few more words about Trump and Trump interrupted him and went off on him about his hair plugs and how his followers want to move backward. He said that's when they could get away with stuff. Biden said a few more words and Trump kept interrupting him and talking over him. They were talking over each other and insulting each other.
Howard said the nation is ready to move forward. He said that Trump should leave with some dignity. Trump said he's going to leave an upper decker in the White House before he leaves. He grunted as he was shitting in the tank of the toilet. Howard said he's shitting on the bowl and not in it. Howard said that's going to stain the whole bowl.
Howard said this didn't work out. He thanked them for calling in. Trump said he did a tremendous job. Howard said he did good today. He said that he really did. Robin asked what his next move is now that he's out of the White House. Trump said he has a coloring book in the works.
Biden started to talk about the whole Warp Speed thing and Trump said this is boring and he has to go. Howard let them go after that.
Howard said they made a great phony phone call with fake Trump to a contractor who agreed to do a booby trap in the Oval Office. Howard played the call where fake Trump called this guy and asked him to help him out. The contractor went along with what fake Trump said and agreed to booby trap the White House just like in Home Alone. The contractor said he'll do whatever he wants him to do to help him get back in there. Trump asked if they can do a train track thing where they can tie someone to the track. The contractor said he may not be able to do that. Trump asked him to set up a seat that would blast him out of his chair. The guy said he could do that with an airbag system. Trump gave a bunch of ideas like that to the guy and the guy was willing to do anything he asked. Trump said that he loves it all. The contractor said that he can have his people contact him and he'll do whatever he wants.
Robin said that's scary. Howard said he has to take another break and get to more stuff. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked if there's going to be mayhem in the country today. Robin said she hopes not. She said she thinks that things might happen in other parts of the country. Howard said he hopes not. Robin said she hopes that they have gotten the idea that it's not a good idea to do this. Howard said according to the NY Times there's a note that Trump left for Biden in the White House. Robin said she hopes they get to find out what it says. Fred played the Ed Wood ''Fuck you!'' movie clip.
Howard said it says it was written in feces. He said it would be weird for the guy to not even congratulate him and leave him a note. He said he's not sure what it would be. Robin said maybe it's an apology. Howard said no way because that's not what he does. Howard said maybe he rated his wife on a scale of 10.
Howard read some feedback about the Dr. Agus interview they did yesterday. He said he got a lot of feedback about the Dr. Agus theme song too. He read through a few of those.
Howard said in under a year they came up with a cure for this pandemic. He said that's amazing. He said he thinks that they'll start seeing more vaccine out there now that Biden is taking over.
Howard read more about Dr. Agus and what he was saying yesterday. He said Mariann from Brooklyn sent in her own version of the Dr. Agus theme song. He said this was mind blowing to him. Howard played the song and Mariann sang that and talked about sucking his ween in that one. Howard said that was a nice blow job song from Mariann. He said that blew his mind. Robin said she's speechless. Howard asked if Robin is worried that this could break up his family. Robin said she is. Howard wondered if Mariann would really do that. Robin said she does sound serious to her. She said she uses that text number for him too.
Howard said Mariann looks good. He said she's a young chippy. Robin said she's got it going on. Howard said she's a seductress.
Howard said Jason took a hit in the fan feedback. He read through some of that since he got vaccinated because of his obesity. Howard said Jason applied and he got the vaccine. He said he wants it to get to everyone so that's fine with him. Robin asked how his diet is going. Howard said he should get him on. Jason got on and said that it's going. He said his dinner was a cup of something that he microwaved. He said it was rice Pilaf with broccoli. He said it resembled rice pilaf. He said it was like 3 bites for him. He said lunch was macaroni and cheese and he was licking the cheese off the lid. He said he didn't want anything to go to waste.
Howard said Jason has gone the complete opposite of what he was eating. He said this stuff has to have preservatives in it. Jason said he did have some real broccoli with it. He said that he needs someone to tell him what to eat and what to do. He said he's throwing himself on the floor.
Howard said he bets that he's lost 10 pounds already. He said he went from 10,000 calories to like 1200. Jason said that was like 1700 calories. He said he just ate what he was told to eat.
Howard asked how long he thinks he can last on this. Jason said he hopes to do it 3 or 4 months and then use that experience to eat right. He said that he has an elliptical machine to work out on but he was told not to do that on this first week of the diet. He said he might be too weak to do that.
Howard said Jason took a big hit in the fan mail. He read some of the comments about him getting the vaccine. Howard said the government said that he can get it because he's obese so he didn't do anything wrong.
Howard said he finds it odd that in this country the teachers aren't' ahead of obese people. Howard said that Dr. Agus said in some countries they started with the oldest and went to the youngest. He said that's a great way to do it. Jason said every state is different here so it's all Willy Nilly.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he appreciates him standing up for science in this whole thing. He said that he's a biologist in Maryland and it's very frustrating and tough work and it means a lot to him that he said that. Howard said it's amazing what science has brought us. He said we can see what science can do. Robin said she wouldn't be there without it. Howard said it can extend our lives and get rid of plagues. He said that the biggest threat to the human race is plagues. He said it's quite remarkable what they can do with science. He said when you're anti-science you realize we're doomed.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said he has one of Ralph's last tweets. He said that it says something about Trump tweeting from the POTUS account. Bobo read the tweet and Howard said he has no idea what he's talking about. Robin said he's saying that Ralph used his name and he's happy about him using it. Bobo said that he isn't happy about it. He said he's disgusted with what the President did. Robin explained that to Howard and he said this is so convoluted. He thanked Bobo for the call. Bobo kept going so Howard hung up on him and said he so doesn't care. They played a Bobo song parody about how terrible his calls are. Howard said that was a particularly bad one.
Howard said one listener asked about his music taste and asked him to rank his top 10 songs that make him depressed and reflective. He asked Robin if she cares. Robin said no. Howard said that's what he thought. Robin said that's his thing to get depressed. Howard said he'd have to do this off the top of his head. He said he likes depressing music and his theory is that music can make him emotional even though he tries to avoid emotion. He said music can make him emotional. He said they're not even the best songs ever written. He said they're just songs that make him emotional. He said they're not the best.
Howard said he has a clue about some songs but some not so much. He said the music and words can get to him. Robin said they have meaning to him. Howard said yeah. He said he has one example. He said it's Possum Kingdom by the Toadies. He said he gets nuts when he hears that. He played the song and Robin said she likes this song. She said it doesn't depress her. Howard said he's not sure why it depresses him.
Howard said the song ''Girl'' by Maren Morris depresses him too. He played some of that and said he's not sure what she's even saying in that song and it still gets to him. He said he's already bummed out. Robin said it's a great song and she gets into her singing but there's nothing that depresses her. Robin said maybe it's certain notes in the song. Howard said maybe that's it. Howard said that's one of those songs that just gets him.
Robin asked if he gets a release of his depression or does he go further into it. Howard said he goes further.
Howard said this song gets him too. He said it's ''Save Yourself.'' He said this one too. He said this one gets him nuts. He said it's Sponge ''Plowed.'' He said it's one of his favorite songs but it fucks him up. He said he gets so affected by it. He said the other one is Blink 182's ''Stay Together For The Kids.'' He played that and said that one depresses him too. Howard said this one could be his number 1 song to go to for getting depressed. He said he listens to this 10 times a day.
Howard said Bruce Springsteen does a song that really gets to him. He said it might not get to Robin though. Robin said they're great songs. Howard said this one is from his solo album ''Tougher than the Rest.'' He said this one will wreck him every time he hears it. He said it has to do with Beth in his life and how he can't live without her. He said this song is brilliant.
Howard said he thinks about his wife and how he's older than her. He said he shouldn't have played that. He said it fucks him up. He said that song should be banned from his house. Howard said he thinks he wrote that just to fuck him up.
Howard said that he has a million songs like that. He said the Brandi Carlile song can throw him off too. He played some of the song ''The Joke'' and said that can fuck him up.
Howard said when she sings that she hits it. He said it's doing it to him right now. Robin asked if he feels triumphant for overcoming all of that. Howard said he gets massively depressed. Robin said she's not sure why his brain works like that.
Howard played Everclear's 'Father of Mine'' and said that one gets to him too. He said anything with fathers who don't jive with their kids gets to him.
Howard said the other song that gets him depressed is The Beatles ''She Said'' it fucks him up. He played a version of the song by Gov't Mule that really gets to him.
Howard said that he has a song that will make him cry but he won't play that. He said that when he cries it's over the top. Howard played another song by School of Fish called ''3 Strange Days'' and said that one fucks him up too. He said he might need to steal Ralph's stash of anti-depressants. Robin asked what's depressing about this song. Howard said just wait.
Howard said the song that gets him too is the song where the guy Lucas Graham sings. He said there are some other songs that get him too. He went through a few more. Howard said that Sia gets him with ''Elastic Heart.'' He played some of that song.
Howard said it's unbelievable. He said that Sia is unbelievable. Robin said he's a mess. Howard said he knows. He said The Fugees ''Ready or Not'' gets to him. Robin said he should turn his brain off. Howard said he can't do that. He said even when he sleeps he's tortured. He said he never has a nice dream. He said not a wet dream ever.
Howard said the number 1 song is ''Stars'' by Hum. Howard said this one gets him. He played that song. He asked if that one depresses Robin. Robin said she thinks he's telling a sad story but she doesn't go around matching things up. Howard said he doesn't do it consciously. Howard said this song must depress Hum too because they never had another hit.
Howard said this one gets him too. He played a Willie Nelson song ''Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground.'' Howard said ''Moonlight Mile'' and ''Summer Highland Falls'' get him too. He played song after song that depresses him.
Howard said he hopes that answers the guy's question. Robin said that most people think about songs that meant something good to you. She said she had songs with boyfriends. Howard said she never had a song with him. Robin said when she had an attachment to a song because of a guy she'd stop listening to it. She said she won't allow it in her life. She said she would play it until it doesn't mean anything to her anymore.
Howard said Robin is to go to through her list of songs and send them to him. Howard asked what her song with Mr. X was. Robin said something by Sade probably. She said she doesn't remember.
Howard said that there was a girl who he went out with who turned him on to music and he had a song that made him think of her. He said it was that girl he used to listen to from Canada. He said he can't think of it. Robin and Gary threw out some names but they weren't right. Howard said she was Estero. Howard said that's who he's thinking of. He said whenever he hears that music he thinks of a particular relationship. Robin said she doesn't want to be depressed so he gets rid of them from her life.
Howard said that Fred should play Robin's music since she just made that big statement. Fred played her theme song. Then he played her singing.
Howard asked if there's anything that makes her think of her father. Robin said not at all. She said she doesn't want bad memories in her life.
Howard took a call from a guy whose connection was really bad. The guy said he has to man up because he's such a pussy. He said he should be the happiest man in the world after signing his new contract. He said he has it made. Howard said he didn't say he's not happy. He said that if he's a pussy then why must he man up. The caller said life is a struggle and you have to man up. Howard said the trouble with men is that if you say you get emotional about something guys like this get very threatened. He said they think you're gay if you feel something. He said they feel something but it triggers something in them. He said that they get emotional too. Howard said he gets sad listening to these songs. He said this guy is such a dumb fuck. He said if you don't get emotional about something you're a robot. Howard told the guy to get the fuck out of here and get a good phone. He said his phone was awful. He said that guy was a dick. He said he hates that guy. He said he really does hate him. Robin said she's not sure why people think that way. Howard said he wishes he had men in his life who had some emotion. He said that guy was a whiny bitch.
Howard said they did a study about cell phones and said that the cell connection is better than a hard wire phone now. He said he's not sure where these people are calling from but it seems like they have really bad connections. He did an impression of that guy who just called in on his shitty phone.
Howard said that guy is a needy fuck. He said he has that guy pegged. He said he's a needy, needy fuck. Robins said he thinks that you should show anger instead of feeling a need for something.
Howard said Ronnie got the Coronavirus vaccine last night. He got him on and asked how he did. Ronnie wasn't there because his microphone wasn't working. Ronnie said he forgot to hit a button. Ronnie said he's doing fine other than some muscle ache where he got the shot. He said Stephanie got a little light headed but then she was fine. Howard said he hopes he banged that out of her. Ronnie said not last night.
Howard asked if he would recommend getting it. Ronnie said for sure. He said it's painless. Robin said she thought about Ronnie last night and how he has to get his life going.
Howard talked to Ronnie puppet and asked how he's doing with that. Fred did his Ronnie voice and talked about how that went for him. Howard asked if he can still get a boner. He didn't respond at first because Fred thought they were talking to the real Ronnie.
Ronnie said he would recommend getting the vaccine to everyone. He said that he still has to get the second shot. He said then he'll feel good. He said that he knows he still has to wear a mask too.
Howard said they'll know things are back to normal once Ronnie goes back to the strip clubs. Robin asked if people are going in masks. Ronnie said they are open in some states but not in New york. Howard said it's cool that he knows that. Ronnie said Lonnie gives him reports on the strip clubs. He said people are going to them in Texas and Florida.
Howard thanked Ronnie and the puppet too. He took a call from Ralph who said that caller earlier is the same kind of guy who would get to him on Twitter. Robin said Howard said nothing to that guy to get him kicked off Twitter. Ralph said he knows that but he's just saying... Howard said enough with that. He let Ralph go.
Howard said he was getting into the anniversary thing. He said this was still called Sirius back then and now it's SiriusXM Pandora. He said they should come up with just one name instead of adding the name to the company. He said they should have just one name to have everything under. He said they have Pandora and Stitcher. He said they're the only company that does that. He said Peloton is just Peloton even when they add a machine to their company. Robin said the company Alphabet is Google and other things but it's just Alphabet. Howard said they're becoming like Julie Chen Moonves. He said it's enough already.
Howard said now they're a bigger name but they were just Sirius in 2006. He said being on satellite was freeing and liberating. He said they were bale to broadcast uncensored without the FCC.
Howard said he made a rule about cursing when he started there and 20 minuets into the show he cursed. He played a clip from that first day when he cursed the first time.
Howard said he couldn't wait to play the Pat O'Brien tapes on the air when they started there. He said they played them on the old show but they were censored. He said the first thing they did on the air was play those tapes. He played a clip from that segment.
Howard said that the guys were telling him about this guy on the Mets who had to be fired for sending a dick pic. He said no woman wants to see that. He said that Pat O'Brien was talking about licking a woman's ass. He said she doesn't want to hear that. He said that's the greatest. Robin said it's like something Ronnie would say.
Howard said that guys are so gross. He said that no woman wants that. He said Lenny Dykstra doesn't bullshit you. He said he tells it like it is. Howard said these guys go too far with this stuff. He said they go just one step too far. He said he's up front with women. He said he just wants to put his penis inside them. He said he doesn't want much else. He said he's fine with that.
Howard said these guys get really graphic with this stuff. He said they want to do things that are just going way too far. He made stuff up that they could say.
Howard said that guy on the Mets just went too far by sending a dick pic. Gary said the part that they're all freaked out by is that he just kept going. He said that she didn't answer the guy and he kept going. Howard asked if he was the General Manager. Gary said he was there for like 37 days. He said the team just got sold and this is what happens. He said that this stuff doesn't happen to the Yankees. He said the guy who is the GM now is saying they're going to look into their vetting process.
Howard said he heard that Gary has a friend who's upset that the woman came out with that story now. Gary said that his friend was saying he doesn't understand why if the story is 4 years old it's coming out now. Howard said the General Manager had 67 unanswered texts to this woman. He said he loves the thought process there. He said he sent her a picture of his rock hard cock and he kept sending her messages even when she didn't respond. Robin thought that he was making up something that sounds like what Armie Hammer was sending to women in the past. Robin said he was saying he wanted to rip out a rib and eat it out of a woman. Howard went into his general manager voice and made up more stuff the guy could have said.
Howard said this guy sent her a picture of his pants with a big bulge and then sent her the penis picture. He said it was like a little story. He said that's bad form. He said these are hot chicks who have heard everything.
Gary said George Carlin used to do a bit about guys and why they're so angry when they speak to women. Howard said that's a good question.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that the show keeps getting better and better. He asked if Ronnie feels like a traitor for getting the shot because that's like going against Trump. Howard said the premise isn't good there. He said he's going to stop him there. He said it's not going to work to get at Ronnie. Howard hung up on him.
Howard said getting back to men... He said they were so excited about playing that Pat O'Brien thing was what they wanted to do when they got there. Robin said they were so excited about that. She said they were now able to play them uncensored. Howard played more of that Pat O'Brien stuff. He asked if he ever recovered from that. Robin said he did not. She said he apologized on Dr. Phil and that got him back on one of those entertainment shows but that didn't last either.
Howard made up more crazy stuff guys could say to women trying to hit on them. Howard said that one of the other things grey did in the first month on Sirius was having George Takei in studio as their show announcer. He said that's the week they had their fake Arnold Schwarzenegger call in and fool George. He played some audio of that prank they pulled on George. They had fake Arnold saying that he had just seen Brokeback Mountain and he's rethinking his position on gay marriage.
Robin said that George was saying they're really terrible for pulling that prank on him.
Howard said this is something else they did in the first month there. He said that Train performed an amazing cover of ''Ramble On'' in the studio. He played some of that performance. Howard said he told Pat that he should contact Jimmy Page and go out on the road with him.
Howard said another thing that happened in the first month was the band The Bloodhound Gang coming in and pitching a show idea for Howard 101 and they brought in a guy they hang with and that turned out to be Mark the Bagger. Robin said that's how they met Mark the Bagger. Howard said that is the way they met him. He played some of that segment where they met Mark for the first time.
Howard said he knew that guy was gold. He said he wants to thank those guys for that. He said he hasn't heard from them in a while though.
Howard said everyone knows the phrase ''Lets fuck some whores!'' from Ronnie. He said that was first played in January 2006. He said they had a party to celebrate their move and Ronnie got drunk and went into a confession booth with one of the guys from Howard TV and said that phrase. He said this is the origin of that. Howard played the clip where Ronnie said that for the first time.
Howard said that sounds like Doug Goodstein manning the booth. Robin said she arranged that whole party. Howard said it was her idea to have that confession booth. Robin said it was. She said Ronnie delivered for them.
Howard said they were all there with their wives and Ronnie still said that. He said that he said lets get rid of these ''wive shits'' and ''let's fuck some whores.'' He said that was 15 years ago. He said it seems like that has been around even longer than that.
Howard said Robin made history in the first month there. He said they all made revelations on the air. Robin said don't remind her of that. She said she was so angry with him. Howard said he had a great revelation too. Robin said he lied about being honest and how embarrassing this was for him. Howard said it was embarrassing for him. He said Robin revealed that she masturbated with vegetables. Robin said she thinks it was meats too. Howard said that he doesn't understand. He played some of that segment where Robin revealed that.
Howard said that Robin is so sexual. He said she would tell him that his furniture was sexy and she told him she would think about fucking on it. He said she was one sexual woman. Robin laughed. Howard said they did this thing where they did revelations. He said he shaved his nose down slightly and Robin revealed that she masturbated with meats and vegetables. He said he sees that as the same thing. He asked if this is what caused her cancer. Robin said maybe he's on to something.
Howard said he thinks the best revelation was Sal revealing that he would watch family members go to the bathroom. He said as bad as their stuff was Sal took the prize. Howard played a clip where Sal revealed how he'd watch people go to the bathroom from inside a closet in the bathroom. He told Howard about a cousin he would watch in the bathroom.
Howard said Sal still hates when they bring that up. Robin said she feels his pain. Howard asked where Sal is. He said he has to do a full interview with him. He said someone suggested they do that and he might have to do that. He said he'll treat him like Paul McCartney. Sal said he just tells him about things he has done. Howard said he doesn't do stuff like that anymore. Sal said not anymore. Howard said Sal admits to crimes. He said he sees he's matured though. Sal said he's 51 now. He said his kids are grown and he looks at things differently. He said if you can't fix your mistakes then you're a victim. Howard said now he talks to squirrels.
Fred played a squirrel sound and clips of Sal saying that he has had a bunch of red cardinals appear for him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said last night he woke himself up laughing so he woke his wife up and told her about Ronnie getting Richard and Sal's dildo shaped dicks in his ass. He said he still laughs about that. Howard said when he thinks back on their first month there Sal was great then and he's still great now. He said he has done a lot of great things there. Sal said he's honored to work there. He said he'll do whatever it takes. Howard said he always delivers. Howard said he doesn't know how to spell delivers but he knows how to deliver.
Howard said they also found out about JD in the revelation segment. He said he spent over $10,000 in internet porn. He said this was jam packed radio that first month there. Sal laughed and said ''and porn is free.'' Howard said JD also revealed that his online screen name was DABA. He said that stood for Da Bad Ass. Everyone laughed when he said that.
Howard said there's no one less qualified to have the name Da Bad Ass other than JD. Robin said they fond out about that money and his nickname. She said that was all in the first month. Howard said he went back and listened to some of that stuff and he was impressed with the quality of the show. Robin said they went from terrestrial radio to this in the first month. Howard said they've been going ever since.
Howard said Richard revealed that he got a girl pregnant and paid for an abortion. Robin said she forgot about that. Howard said he did too. He said that's a pretty big deal. Howard said imagine that someone didn't want to keep Richard's baby. Robin said that seems understandable to her.
Howard said that Jason revealed that he liked to jerk off better than having real sex. Robin said that Howard gave nothing and everyone else put it out there. Howard said he thought it would be a big deal. He said he thought he was being very giving. Robin said she didn't know what to tell. She said she had put it all out there. Howard said he hasn't done all of these things that everyone else has done. He said he's a boring guy. He said he thought that getting his nose shaved down would make big news. Robin said that Will thought it was a big story. Howard said he did. Will said he knows Howard was very nervous about the revelation. Howard said Robin put out a lot more than he did.
Howard said they had some good revelations there. He asked Jason if there were any ramifications about that at home. Jason said he was just dating his now-wife at the time and she wasn't that thrilled about him talking about it on the air.
Howard said Richard's revelation was pretty good and he can't believe he forgot that. He said Gary's was that he and his buddy got massage girls and ripped them off leaving them staring at each other in their underwear. Gary said he still can't believe that happened. He said it was back in college and they had two girls who gave them massages but then they said they were slipping into something more comfortable. He said then they disappeared. He said grey were able to slip out the door because it was next to the bathroom. They were in a shitty hotel room at the time.
Howard said they were supposed to give a happy ending or something. He said he can't believe they left. He said the hooker ran out on Gary.
Howard said Fred's was heavy too. He said he has to talk to Fred about this. He said he has a half sister he's never met and doesn't want to. Fred said it was heavy to him too. He said he didn't find out about it until many years later. He said he hadn't had any contact with his biological father for years. He said it's really heavy stuff. He said that anyone who tries to get in touch with his father they're headed off by his wife. Howard asked if he has tried to get in touch. Fred said not at all. He said he said his piece when he walked out on them in 1975. He said that he doesn't think that his half sister has tried to contact him either. He said that he thinks the well has been poisoned against him with her too.
Howard said he imagines that his half sister must know about Fred. Fred said he doesn't know. He said it's a good question. He said that it's one of those things where if they don't want to be contacted then that's it. He said he has a problem with her mother so it would be hard to talk to her because of that.
Howard asked if he ever looks them up on Facebook. Fred said he hasn't seen his father but he's still alive and in his 90s. He said that blows his mind. Howard said he doesn't want to work things out with him either. He said that's crazy. Fred said it is. Howard said that's very sad. Fred said sure it is.
Howard said he has to talk to Fred and his sister doesn't. He said she's a lucky woman. He said Fred can think of him as the half sister he never had. He said he loves him. Fred said he loves him too. He said as bad as this family can get it's still the best family ever.
Howard said Benjy revealed that he got drunk and had to have his stomach pumped. He said when he woke up a same sex acquaintance of his was fondling him. Howard asked how he didn't talk to Benjy about that. He asked Benjy how he didn't explore that more. Benjy said it was when he was in college and he drank a lot. He said he used grain alcohol. He said he woke up in the hospital and a guy who was like an RA at his dorm was doing something with his penis in his hand. He said this was in the hospital. He said he doesn't think he was getting any pleasure from it. He said the guy was just pulling on it. He said it's kind of funny now but it wasn't funny back then.
Benjy said he got a lot of shit from them about that story not being good enough. Howard said it is good enough. Robin said Howard's was the worst. She said that he got a nose job that hardly anyone knew about. Howard said he thought that it was a good revelation because it's absurd that if he shaved the tip of his nose that he'd be handsome. He said look at this face. He said it's an absurd premise. He said if you don't think that's a good revelation then he'll give another. Robin said go ahead. Howard said he got a parking ticket when he lived in Hartford. Howard said now they're even.
Howard said that King of All Blacks says that he has a revelation. Howard got him on and asked what he has. King said that he was getting his hair cut and this blind guy dropped a $20 bill and he put his foot on it and ended up keeping it. He said he's not proud of that story. Howard said he stole $20 off a blind guy. He said that might take the cake. He said he's so damaged. He said he has money and doesn't need 20 bucks. King said he had like 80 on him and he took the 20 and paid for the hair cut with the 20. He said he knew that was fucked up when he did it.
Howard said he thinks that if there is a heaven and hell that he'd go to hell for that. King said that was a flaw.
Howard said the guys say that when he told the story the first time it was $180. Jason said they did a Wack Pack revelation and that's what he said back then. He had it in the notes. He read the note to Howard from their show logs. King said it was $180 at the time.
Howard said that's really bad. King said he knows. He said he would never think of doing that now. Howard said he did it once. King said he'd never do that again. Robin said taking from the blind is bad. Howard let him go after that. He said he's not sure if that's worse than watching your cousin in the bathroom. Sal asked them to shut up about that already. He said he was a kid at the time. He said he was only 14.
Howard said he has a blind man to comment on that last revelation. He took the call and the guy said he likes to jerk off on $20 bills and hand them out.
Howard said that the guy messing with Benjy could have gotten caught. He said he's not sure why he'd do that in there. Robin said in an emergency room they let you sleep it off if you're drunk. She said that he could have been left there a long time.
Benjy said he was so embarrassed by the whole thing that he didn't say anything about it. He said he got thrown out of the school because of that whole thing. Robin said if he had said something about it back then maybe he'd still be in school.
Howard said Fran Lebowitz said she was thrown out of high school but never said why. He said he wants to know why. He said he's very curious about her. He said that he'd like to know the story.
Howard said he likes that Benjy thought the RA was trying to help him. He said maybe he was trying to use it as a rope to get out of the hospital. Howard asked if he was nude. Benjy said it must have been a hospital gown. He said he knows there were tubes in him at the time.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she bets Ronnie never stole 20 bucks. She said that she would rather suck Howard's ween over Dr. Agus. Howard said he knows she's a fan but would she really start blowing him. Mariann said that she would do that at 62. She said that of course she would do that. She started to freak out screaming so much that she was unintelligible. Howard said he likes that. He said he likes to think that if he was in a pinch that she'd blow him.
Howard said Mariann was in his dressing room at AGT and she is a good looking woman. He said that she was so nervous too. He said it was like he was the Beatles to her. He said that he thinks that he could have had her. He said that it is nice to know that it could have happened. He said he's happily married now though.
Howard asked Benjy if he would take a blow job from Mariann. Benjy said sure. He said that he'd take it or give it. Benjy asked if Howard has anything he'd like to reveal that he's afraid to. Howard didn't answer. He said that he sees it's getting late. He said that he has to stay down there and cut some things for a special they're doing for Howard 101. He said he should end the show. He said he's got more work to do though so he's not going anywhere.
Howard said happy anniversary to Robin. Robin said it back to him. Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves him so much. He said he's totally blind and he's so ashamed of King. He said that's disgusting. He said that he hasn't been taken advantage of like that but he has been taken advantage of. Howard said King says he'd never do that again. The caller said he has to prove it. He said that guy says all kinds of things. Howard thanked him for the call. He wrapped up the show and ended it around 11:10am.