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Howard was off today in observance of Martin Luther King Jr. day. Here's what they played today:
Today's show was over around 11:05am.
Howard and the guys were back live this morning. Howard started the show singing along to his opening song and Robin asking if he was Indian because of the way he was singing. Howard kept singing. Howard played a fake Jesse Ventura announcement for who they had coming in today. He said they have Matthew McConaughey coming in today.
Howard said they had off yesterday. He said they take that day off every year. He said they take off any holiday. He said that it makes no sense to be there on a holiday. He said they just need to be there when people are commuting.
Howard said that they got a lot of email about Ronnie's hypnosis. Howard said Fred went through the mail and found a lot. Howard read through some of the email they got about Ronnie and his hypnosis. Howard said he could read millions. He said a lot of bits are coming out of that. He said he has some audio of Ronnie acting all happy out in the hall. He had him laughing at Sal about using Aquanet on his hair. He said his mom used to use that. Then he was all happy about Jim McClure being there.
Howard said who knew that hypnosis could get rid of unhappiness. Howard said he's got an interesting laugh. Howard read more email about Ronnie's hypnosis. Howard played another clip of Ronnie as ''Jamie.''
Robin said she found it interesting that he held things back about hearing his parents in a threesome. Howard said he revealed that he saw their legs under the door. Howard said his subconscious is a scary place. Howard played a song that Ronnie sang about seeing his parents under the door.
Howard read more email about Ronnie. Someone said they can see that being part of the Best of 2017 segment at the end of the year. Howard said he got an email from Jared Fogel saying that even he found Ronnie creepy. Howard read even more email about how funny that segment was.
Howard played a new phony phone call the guys made to Big Foot using clips of Ronnie as Jamie. Big Foot was going along with the bit and had phone sex with ''Jamie.'' Big Foot said he had company there so he had to let Jamie go.
Howard said it proves again that Big Foot will fuck anything. Robin said she was surprised he had company. Howard said they're tied up in the basement.
Howard said he had so many emails about that but he can't read them all. Howard read one from Bill Cosby saying he found it disturbing. Howard read some email about Neil Patrick Harris.
Howard read some notes from Shuli about what Bobo has been up to. Howard read a note that Steve wrote. In it he says that his name is Steve Bowe. He said he calls himself Bowie though. Steve said that the whole family dropped the I in the name. Howard asked why they would do that. Steve said he doesn't know. He said they did it on his grandfather's side though. Howard said his name isn't Bowie anymore. Howard said that would be like him saying his name is Stern but they dropped the R and the E. He said you just can't do that.
Howard read more of the letter that he wrote to Twitter. He was requesting to be verified on Twitter. He has a fan base of 30,000. He was asking to be verified because other people are trying to be Bobo. He was saying that he was made popular by Howard Stern. Steve wrote more about why he'd like to be verified.
Howard said Steve wrote to Twitter about why he's upset. Steve said that he gets nothing but ogida from this. Steve said they want him to change his handle but he won't do it. He said he's Bobo, not Steve from Florida.
Howard said Steve thinks that he'd have more followers if he was verified. Howard said he's tortured over this whole thing. Gary said Steve wrote that out and sent it in the mail. Steve said there's only one location to do that. Howard said that's odd that you have to do that. Jason said that's not true. He said you can fill out an online form. Steve said good luck doing that. He didn't know what a URL was.
Howard took a call from a guy who requested a 2 week extension on the ban. Steve from Florida said that's not funny. The caller said Bobo in Spanish means ''Dummy.'' Howard said the kids made fun of him in school and instead of calling him Bozo they called him Bobo. Bobo said they called him and his brother that. He said it goes way back. Howard said that's a bad memory though. Steve said he had to come up with some catch phrase.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Howard is being rough on Bobo. Howard said it's Steve from Florida. She said that Tan Mom needs to be punished for what she did to Howard trying to scam him out of 600 bucks.
Howard said he has the president from Twitter on the phone. It was Sal telling Bobo to fuck off. He told him to eat shit you asshole.
Howard said they sent Steve from Florida to a Spooky Empire Con. He said it's a convention for horror. He said it's a spooky con. Howard said they asked Bobo if he wanted to go cover it. Howard said it's as bad as you'd think it would be. Steve said he almost died there. He said the Jason guy almost choked him out. Howard said Wolfie told them about wearing a Bobo jacket and shirt. Howard said they decided to give him a month to prepare for this spooky con. He said this was all his own work and he failed miserably.
Howard played a clip of Steve leaving a voicemail about what he was doing to prepare for this. He was talking about working on it for hours and hours. He said it was a lot of work and he was listening to a lot of clips so he's not mundane. Howard said that's some voicemail.
Howard got Wolfie on the phone and asked if he was with Bobo at the time. Wolfie said he was. Howard said the interviews went horribly. He said they had to edit them down because they were so bad. Howard said these are the good ones.
Howard said in this first clip he interviewed Elvira. Steve asked Elvira about being inducted into a horror hall of fame being the highlight of her career. She said it was pretty awesome. Bobo asked her about being in Playboy too but that was about it. Steve said that he didn't have some stuff prepared and Wolfie sent him off to do some interviews with people who he wasn't prepared for.
Howard had some audio of Wolfie asking Bobo about his interview with Elvira. Wolfie asked if he didn't know she was in Playboy. Bobo said he did know and he was trying to get her to talk more about it.
Howard said in this next clip Steve from Florida asked one of the hot actresses from the Halloween movies the same question twice. This was with Danielle Harris. Steve asked her which Halloween was her favorite. He asked the same question twice.
Steve said he didn't know anything about her. Howard asked why he has to ask the same question. Wolfie said she was so annoyed with Steve because she had so many people waiting in line. Howard played a Steve from Florida song parody.
Howard said each interview is worse than the last. Howard said listen to him with Butch Patrick. Howard said he played Eddie Munster. Howard said you have no idea how bad it was. Howard played the clip and Steve asked Butch to tell him about the Munsters. Butch talked about it being a job to him and how he got to hang out with some cool people. Steve asked if he ever hears from Marilyn. Butch said he does. Steve said he loves it and he thanked him for the interview.
Howard played Wolfie asking Steve how he felt that one went. Steve said that it went well and it felt organic to him. Steve thought it went really well. Howard played another song parody about Steve from Florida.
Howard said Steve tried to talk to Rick Flair but he pissed him off in 10 seconds. Howard played the clip and Steve asked Rick about using blood caps and Rick told him not to insult him because he's never used them. That was it for the interview.
Steve said the guy was like 99 years old and he stood up like he could do something to him. Wolfie said that he saw him dead lifting like 400 pounds last week. He said he could have done something.
Howard thanked Steve for the interviews. Steve said that he has another interview where he almost got choked out 3 times by some guy.
Howard took a call from a guy calling himself Paul Bobo. Paul said that Steve should get that eyebrow thing checked out. He said that it could mean he's ill. Howard said he shaved them off himself though. Paul said that maybe it's mental illness then.
Howard let Steve go after that. Steve said he's Steve from Flori-duh. Howard played a song parody about Steve from Florida. They went to break after that.
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Howard said CBS News must not have a news department. He said they just read the NY Times report and act like it's their news. He said everything annoys him.
Howard said he was happy to read that the Ringling Brothers circus is going out of business. Howard said he always hated the idea of a 3 ring circus. Howard said he went a few times as a kid but he's not sure it was even with his parents. He said it was so fucking annoying because they had 3 rings and you didn't know where to look. He said they'd have all of this stuff going on and you can't look at it all.
Howard said that they had all of these animals that they'd take from city to city. Howard said they had elephant and they'd whip them and put that little cap on them. He said they should put one on Bobo. Howard said they never went to the circus with the family. He said he thinks he went with a friend for a birthday party. Howard said his mother thought it was nonsense. He said fuck them anyway.
Howard said he read they're $8 million in debt. He said they've been doing that for over 146 years. Howard read some of the story about why they're shutting down. He said he's glad they're shutting down but not happy that people lost their jobs.
Howard said his wife did a kitten rescue right in front of him in Florida. Howard said they were on a walk and Beth saw this kitten hiding in the bushes. Howard said he figured it was feral and it would never come out. Howard said Beth reached in with one hand and pulled it out. He said she took her shirt off on a main road to wrap it up so it won't scratch her. Howard said she was walking around with no shirt on. Howard said he was getting upset about that. Howard said he wasn't going to take his shirt off. He said he has a belly on him. He said he doesn't want anyone photographing that.
Howard said they were walking along the road with her bra on. He said they had a long way to go. Howard said she was practically topless. He said it was like animal rescue porn. Howard said she would have had to have lost the bra to take home another one.
Howard said he's really out of shape. He said it's not pretty. Robin asked what he's comparing to. Howard said he shaved his body hair to make it look groomed and it's all uneven. He said it looks like he was in a fire.
Howard said he has patches of hair under his tits. He said he shaves his belly and he's so lazy. Howard said he loses interest when he's in the middle of it. Howard said that's why he didn't take his shirt off.
Howard said Beth told him that there was a guy trimming his hedges and Beth asked him to turn off his motor while they walked by. Howard said he had to do that. He yelled out and asked him to turn it off for a minute. He said they were doing cat rescue. Howard said the guy got a load of a woman walking down the road in her bra. He was like ''yes sir!'' Howard said he felt like he was in a cuckold video. Howard said Beth's shorts were like to her pubic bone. Howard said they were saving this kitten and the guy was staring at Beth's tits. He said the guy was fine with that.
Howard said he named the kitten Eden because they found her in a garden. Howard said they heard from a bunch of places down there because they had been trying to save her for weeks. Howard said it worked out well.
Howard said he's trying to groom himself and he can't get into it. He said if he was too into it then it might be a problem. Howard said his daughter was into the cat rescue thing too.
Howard said they celebrated his birthday last week. Howard thanked Robin for her gifts. Howard said he wrote her a thank you note. Howard said 800-Flowers sent him a Bonsai plant. Howard said he gave it away. He said he feels bad for plants because he doesn't take care of them. He said he'd rather not see it die.
Howard said he should have Gary shave him. He had Ralph do it the first time he ever did it. Howard said Ralph had him go outside to do it. Howard said he had him on his knees shaving him and the contractor he had working in the house came out and saw that. Howard said he was trying to explain it and Ralph stayed there shaving him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's all for helping cats. He said maybe he should work on people. Howard said not so much. He said people cause him a lot of problems. The caller said that there are a lot of homeless people who need help. Howard asked if he's supposed to help with them too. He said he gives plenty of money to that kind of stuff. Howard said he doesn't brag about it all. Howard said just because he likes animals doesn't mean he doesn't care about people.
Howard said his wife is into animal rescue. Robin said people do that all the time when you say you care about animals. Howard said that guy is an asshole. He said every time he talks about his wife saving animals they do that. Howard asked what one thing has to do with the other.
Howard took another call from a woman who asked why he didn't take his shirt off instead of Beth. Howard said it's better that she did. He said he has a belly. The caller said he's too hard on himself. Howard said you can see Beth on her Instagram. He said he instagram'd her in her bra. Howard said he just wanted to get her home. He said she thought it was just like a running top though. Howard said it was no running top. He said he should be wearing a running top. The caller said Howard looks great and he has to stop being so hard on himself.
Howard said there were a bunch of Birthday wishes for him. He said JD put together a bunch. Howard played one where they got his name wrong calling him Howard Stein. Howard said on Good Day Philadelphia they said that Joe Frazier was going to be making an appearance but he died in 2011. Howard played that clip. They said he was turning 73 that day.
Howard said that FOX and Friends wished him a happy birthday. He said something annoyed him about that. They mentioned he's 63 now. The woman said that his movie is ''actually pretty good.'' Howard said that's what annoyed him. He said he hates it when they say his age. Howard said he was a young man. He said he's not sure what the fuck happened.
Howard said he has to think about dying now. He said he's getting up there in age. Robin said time goes on.
Howard said that this show tried to guess whose birthday it was. Howard played a clip and they had clues about him being a judge on America's Got Talent, he manages radio commercials and he has amazing hair. Howard said they must have a hard time with the concept of radio. Howard said he thought that was kind of weird. He said someone had to approve that copy. He said that doesn't make sense. JD said there's a web site that has that in his bio. Howard said that still doesn't make sense.
Howard said Matthew McConaughey will be in today. Howard said he has a lot to talk to him about. Howard said Marfan Mike sang a song for him. He played a clip of Mike singing Happy Birthday to him. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked what song that is again. Fred told him it was Amy Winehouse. Howard said that's a good song. Robin said she works well in it. Fred was playing clips of Robin singing over the song.
Howard said he loves how Robin sings. He asked who Robin is siding with Chris Brown or Soulja Boy. Robin didn't know about this feud they're in. Howard said that he would never fuck with a guy who has tattoos on his face. He said he knows that.
Howard played some audio of Soulja Boy going off on Chris Brown and calling him the N-word over and over. Howard said that he said it like 19 times. Howard said that's a lot. Robin asked where they got that. JD said it was on social media. Robin said that's what's wrong with social media. Howard said he says the N-word like some people say ''Um.''
Howard said Soulja Boy is upset with Chris Brown over this girl Karrueche. Howard had audio of Chris Brown responding and challenging him to a boxing match. Then Soulja Boy accepts the challenge. Soulja Boy calls him out on beating up Rihanna. He said he feels bad for her and that's why he chilled with her.
Howard said then things took a weird turn. He said Soulja Boy's mom got sick and he ended the beef. Howard played some audio of him apologizing for his acting out. He said that he's going to end this because his moms is in the hospital. He said no amount of money or fame can make him alright with his mom being sick. He said he knows she's not proud of what he's been doing lately. He said he wants to make music with Chris Brown and others. He apologized.
Howard said when he was a kid living in Roosevelt he loved hearing guys fight like this until it landed on him. He said then he couldn't fight to save himself. Howard said it's fun theater until it lands on you. Robin asked if this is fun theater. Howard said it is to him. Robin said it's really sad. She said it's just so basic. Howard said this stirred up a lot of memories for him.
Howard said Soulja Boy came out with a song about hitting 'em with the Draco. JD said that he's taking a shot at Chris Brown and 50 Cent. Howard played the song and he's singing about this gun he has and going after both of them. Fred threw in a few ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' clips.
Howard said that's an update on that. He said you should be following that. Robin said don't waste your time.
Howard said now he'll have like one drink when he goes out to eat. He said he won't drink on school nights. Howard said he's the only one who can't drink. He said the doctor took away that one ounce of fun he was having.
Howard asked the caller what she drinks. She said she hardly drinks at all. Robin asked why she's calling in. She said she had to get on the air with something. Howard said he bets that Jeff the drunk doesn't have any problem with his drinking. He said Richard Christy too. Gary said he heard Richard was really drinking a lot. He said he was drinking craft beer with like 9 percent alcohol in them. He said Richard was talking about how drunk he got that night.
Howard said he heard that he started drinking at noon for an 8 o'clock game. Gary said that Richard had to be there even though the game was delayed. Howard said Richard doesn't remember how he got home that night.
Robin said he has to be losing brain cells when he does that. Howard said he doesn't have that many. Howard said he doesn't remember getting home. Richard came in and said that it is a little fuzzy. He also told Howard he went to the doctor and he had high cholesterol but he went back a few weeks later and it was down after he lost 10 pounds.
Howard played some audio of Richard and the fans at this bar yelling about the Kansas City Chiefs. Richard said everyone there is from Kansas. He said it's like his own Cheers. Howard said it's so fucking weird that he found out about a bar like that. Richard said it was in a NY Times article that he read. JD said he has his own set up there. Richard said he has his own glasses that he uses there too. Howard asked what kind of money he spends there. Richard said he tips really well. JD said he's there for almost every Royals game too. Howard asked how many beers he drinks. JD said he wasn't here. Richard said he might drink one an hour. He probably had 11 that day.
Howard asked what he spent that night. Richard said it may have been 80. Gary said Richard puts that black stuff under his eyes when he goes there too. Robin asked if he's the only one who gets drunk. Richard said he's not.
Howard asked what his shits are like. Richard said they're solid. He said he eats a lot of beef. Howard said he wears a full Chief's uniform to the bar. Robin said that's not shocking. She said people do that. JD said Richard has uniforms for all of the Kansas City teams. Howard asked if he cries when they lose. Richard said it's like a funeral when they lose. He said they lost and it came down to a penalty that cost them the game pretty much.
Howard asked if his wife was there too. Richard said she was and she loves football. Howard asked if he drinks water too. Richard said he does. Howard said there are guys who say they know how to avoid getting cancer by moving their tobacco around in their mouths.
Howard asked if Richard took Monday off. Richard said he's been taking weekdays off from drinking. Gary said they went out once and Richard called to thank him and he called 15 minutes later to thank him again because he had forgotten that he had called. JD said he drinks wine too and his mouth turns purple. Howard asked if Richard worries about it killing him. Richard said they live in such a dangerous world anyway it doesn't.
Howard asked if he goes to the Chief's bar on Monday. Richard said he did. He said he was in the neighborhood so he went in to say hi to the bartender. Howard asked what time he went. Richard said it was like 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Richard said he had 2 more beers that day. Robin said she'd like to know how often he goes to say hi if he's not drinking. Richard said he'd do that.
Howard said Richard really loves drinking. Richard said he's due for a doctor appointment soon so he'll find out how he's doing. Howard said he had 2 glasses of wine and he was in trouble with his doctor.
Gary said that Richard drank 11 beers but that's like drinking 22 regular beers because of the alcohol content in what he was drinking. Howard said he might have to pick Richard for the death pool.
Howard said he wants to mention a death that happened. He said Dick Gautier died. He said he was Hymie the Robot on Get Smart. He said that was a great TV show. Robin said she wasn't a big fan of that show. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard came back and said he's radioactive too. He said he's waiting on Matthew McConaughey. He said he hasn't seen him in 15 years. He said that he's in a new movie called ''Gold.'' Howard said he is promoting a movie but there's always time for conversation.
Matthew came in and Howard asked what he's looking at. Robin said he's looking around like this is Mars. Howard said he's looking good. Howard said he hasn't aged a bit. Matt said he's 47 now. Howard said he must be living a good life. Howard said he said to him 100 years ago that he's a vain guy but when he has to do something for a movie he does it. Howard said that must rip him apart. Matthew said he's fain enough to lose it or gain it for the role. He said he does it himself. Howard asked what he does to gain weight. Matthew said he had 6 months to saying yes to cheeseburgers and beer. He said that puts on 47 pretty quickly. Howard asked where the weight goes on. Matthew said it's on his ass. Howard said he must get titties too. Matthew said that happens too. He said he gets the double chin too.
Howard said he won an academy award. He said he has to congratulate him on that. Robin asked if that's something he sought. Matthew said it is the gold standard. He said he can't say he sought it out though. Howard said he's been smart about his career. He said he did some romantic comedies and he could have stayed like that. Matthew said his career started in the reverse order. He said he was there on magazine covers before he took acting classes.
Howard said he grew up in Texas. He did Dazed and Confused and he decided to be an actor after meeting some guy in a bar. Matthew said he was in a bar with is girlfriend and he got free drinks from the bartender because he was in film school with him. He said he wanted to be a director. Matthew said he went up and introduced himself to this guy Don Phillips who was working on a film. He said he asked what he wanted and it was kind of off putting to him. He said they shot the shit and then 3 hours later they were kicked out for being rambunctious. He said Don asked him if he had done any acting. He said he was in a Miller Lite commercial for a split second. He said Don invited him to come interview. He said he met with Richard Linklater. He said he worked on his lines for 3 weeks. He said that he did his lines and they were great lines. He said that he ended up working for 3 weeks.
Howard asked Matthew about the audition. Matthew said he had shaved and ironed his shirt and had his shirt tucked into his jeans. He said that he came in to read for the part and he sat down and Richard had him go ahead. He said he laid his shoulders back. He said he knew who the character was. He said he was his brother. He said he saw his brother once leaning against a wall smoking in the smoking section. He said he saw him and that image was his brother.
Howard said that it's not best to walk in on an audition all shaved. He said he had some break getting that. Howard asked if his dad saw him have some success. Matthew said he moved on when he was 5 days into Dazed and Confused. He said that he got to see him get a job that turned out to be his career.
Howard asked if he knew Dazed and Confused was going to be big. Matthew said he had no idea. Howard asked when he prepared for that movie he listened to live Doors music. He said that Jim Morrison is the one who said ''Alright, alright, alright...'' or something. Matthew said that Richard handed them a mix tape to listen to. He said that was his homework. He said he went off and he was listening to all kinds of music from the 70s. He said this song was something he didn't remember. He said that he heard Morrison say that. He said he was supposed to do a scene and he just came up with that. He said it wasn't scripted so he was doing this scene and he was thinking about what his character was all about. He said he was all about getting high and with his car and he was thinking about the rock and roll he was listening to. Then he looks up and thinks about how he's also into chicks. He said then he had that ''Alright, alright, alright...'' He said those are the first words he ever said on film. Howard said it kind of stuck too. Matthew said it did and he has no problem with that.
Howard said Matthew was voted most handsome man in school when he was in high school. Howard said that is such a gift and a blessing. Matthew said it had to do with the perm he had in his hair at the time. Howard said that's just fantastic. Howard said he was overlooked in school. He said he's a mess. Howard asked if he ever thinks about that and looks back on it. Robin asked if high school was great. Matthew said it was pretty great. He said he played golf and he was number 2 on the team. Matthew said the family was kind of strict. He said that they had to follow the rules but they knew that they would buck them some day.
Howard said his dad was in the oil business. Howard said his brother Rooster is a self made millionaire. He said that his other brother is too. Matthew said no to the other brother. Howard said they're successful though. Matthew said they are. He said that no one mooches off the others. He said that they don't go asking for money if they're not doing well.
Matthew said his mother wanted to be one of the Golden Girls. He said she's still alive and she's 85 now. Howard said his parents lived a lustful life. Matthew said they got remarried 3 times. Howard said his dad thought he was going to go out making love to his mother. Matthew said he was right and it was on a Monday morning when he died. Howard said he did it. He had a heart attack. Howard said his mom wanted him to be carried out of the house nude too. Howard said she wanted everyone to see his big cock. Matthew said that his mom was out there half naked taking the sheet off of him so they could see his boner.
Howard said that's some emotional family. Matthew said they were bad asses. Howard said it had to be a great deal. Matthew said you couldn't hold a grudge in their house. He said that they would stay up all night to hash things out.
Howard said Matthew's dad gave him the sex talk and talked to him about the shower head that hit him on the cock. Matthew said that he had a conversation about girls another time. He said they had that talk and about respecting women too. He said his dad told him if he ever feels a girl hesitate then you stop. He said when you stop she might tell him to go further but then you stop anyway. Robin said that's genius advice. She said a lot of boys could use that advice.
Matthew said when he looked at Playboy he thought that things faced east-west. He said that then you get in there the girl is thinking ''Oh come on, just get it over with.'' Howard said he didn't know what to do. He said there was no porn. Howard said it was messy the first time he did it. Howard said he was shaking. He said it was a nightmare.
Howard said he's jumping all over the place but he wants to know if he has a game plan for winning the Academy Award. Matthew said he had an idea of what he wanted to say but it wasn't scripted. He said that was a great night. Howard said his dad would have loved that. Matthew said he thinks his dad did see it. He said it would have been a lot of fun to have him there to see all of this. He said he thinks he got a nod from his dad that night. Robin said his mom was great out there that night. Matthew said his mom would go off and do interviews and sell him out. Howard said his mother wrote a book called ''I Amaze Myself.'' Howard said some actors who have great fame would be pissed about that. Howard said she got to write it because she's famous because of Matthew. Howard said he liked the book. Matthew said that would have pissed him off early in his career.
Matthew said he asked his mom not to talk to guys with cameras. He said she would do that and tell the things that he didn't want her talking about. She thought that he wouldn't find out about it. Matthew said after 25 years of doing it you realize you can't change people. He said that she was 65 at the time and he told her to just go out and say what she wants and some point.
Howard said that's very mature of him to do that. He said here are things that you want private in your life. Howard said there are things she shouldn't be talking about. Matthew said that he needs a mom and not a funny friend. He said that if you take yourself too seriously then they'll take you down. Howard asked if he's ever gone to therapy for that. Matthew said he hasn't. He said he has faith and family and he talks to himself a lot.
Howard said he likes that he did Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 with Renee Zellwegger. Matthew said he had a lot of fun doing that. He said that he wondered if it was even legal to do that and get paid for it.
Howard said the big movie for Matthew was ''A Time to Kill.'' Matthew said it did well and it opened big. Howard said that's a game changer. Howard said he had to go earn that role. Matthew said he went to talk to the director about another role. He said he wanted to be playing the lead though. He said he met with Joel Schumacher. Howard said he was working on something else at the time. Matthew said he went into the meeting and asked who was playing the lead. He said that he told Joel that he thinks he should be in the lead. He said Joel laughed and said that would be great. Matthew said he thinks some things fell into place. He said they were thinking about Brad Pitt, Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson. Matthew said he knew he had to throw it out there. He said Joel laughed and said it would never happen. He said something happened though. He said Sandra Bullock was able to green light a movie and she helped things move along. He said that Joel did a trial audition for him and he told him he may not get it. Howard said he was a ball buster. He said maybe he was trying to make him relax. Matthew said he thought that he was just being honest.
Howard asked when he does the audition is he a bundle of nerves. Matthew said when he's good in an audition he's like ''fuck it.'' He said that the ones when he's not good he's thinking he just didn't go far enough. He said that the best thing to do is over act and pop that balloon. Howard said he might get thrown out of the room. Matthew said they can try to do that. He said they have tried to throw him out of audition rooms and he won't let them.
Matthew said he was working on a film and he got the call from Schumacher and John Grishom. He said that they were off after that.
Howard said being a movie star is so great. He said being on the set is just the best. Howard said the danger in that is that when you get back into real life there is no reality.
Howard said he heard that he wanted to be in Titanic. Matthew said he wanted the role but the rumor is that he turned it down. He said he wanted it. Howard asked if he ever questions why someone else got the role. Matthew said he just accepted it and moved on to the next. Howard asked if he went to see the movie to see how he did. Matthew said not necessarily.
Howard said he turned down L.A. Confidential. Matthew said that was a good movie. Howard asked why he turned it down. Matthew said it was during ''A Time to Kill.'' He said that movie opened that weekend and he was getting a lot of roles. He said that he wasn't sure what he wanted. Howard said then his whole world changes after ''A Time to Kill'' opens.
Howard said he floated down the Amazon for a bunch of days. Matthew said that he needed to go somewhere where he wasn't seeing himself in a mirror. He said that you don't meet strangers anymore after that. He said that they don't ask what you do anymore. Howard said no one knew him in the Amazon. He did that for 21 days. Matthew said he was just putting himself in a quiet place and tried to figure out what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go.
Howard said some people want that fame and want people to crowd them. Matthew said he had some of that too. He said he thought it was cool to see himself on two magazine covers in the grocery store. He said that he did have to check in with the M and the E though.
Howard asked if it was a life changing experience going down the Amazon. Matthew said it was. He said he had a dream in 1991 and in 1996. He said it was 11 frames of him floating down the Amazon. He said that it was perfect. He said he had to get out and do it. Howard asked if he took Ayahuasca when he was there. Matthew said he didn't.
Howard said Matthew has reinvented himself a few times. Howard said he could have kept doing the romantic comedies. Howard said it got old though. Matthew said he liked doing them but then he read a script that he thought he could do tomorrow. He said that he had to do something that scared him. Howard said then you fall into a trap. He said that he reinvented himself. Howard said he did so many romantic comedies. Howard said he worked with some great people. Matthew said they were paying great too. He said that there is a brand that comes with that. He said he also learned that he was branded as shirtless McConaughey on the beach. Howard said it looked like he was having a good life because he was shirtless on the beach. Matthew said that he thinks he needed a change. He said that he was falling for his now wife too. He said that he was about to have his first child. He said that he felt so clean and clear when he had his first child. He said a man should double down in their life around that first child. Howard asked if that's what happened. Matthew said his life was exciting at the time. He said his life was dynamic. He said his work wasn't as challenging as his life. He said he had to take some time out to figure out what to do.
Howard said Matthew said no to movies for a year and a half. Matthew said his agent was great about this too. He said that he wanted to change gears there and not do romantic comedies. He said his agent told him ''Great, lets do it.'' He said that he wondered why he was doing it so easy. He said his agent said ''I work for you'' and that was it.
Howard said that some guys walk away from a niche and you never see them again. He said saying no is so hard. Matthew said it's hard and it's powerful. Matthew said that he wasn't sure how long he was going to be out of work but he was okay financially. He said he had the new kid to keep him busy too.
Matthew said that the same script for the $5 million is much better than the script for the $1 million. Howard said he made the right decision because he did some great movies. Robin asked if he was taken seriously after that. Matthew said he thinks that unbranding himself for 18 months helped. He said that he was out of the press for 18 months and he got a lot of offers. Howard said doing Magic Mike must have been a risky move. Matthew said that was an easy one. He said Steven Soderbergh pitched it to him and he was on his knees laughing. He said Steven told him about how his character was connected to the UFOs and that's what got him. Howard said then he got ''Dallas Buyer's Club.'' Matthew said he had that one for a while. He said no one wanted to make it. He said that they willed that picture to happen. He said they didn't have any money to make it but they didn't flinch. He said that they were doing this one in October but they had no money. He said he wanted to do it. He said 8 days before they shot it he got a call from the director and he told him he had less than 5 million for a budget of 7. He said that he showed up to work anyway. He said they scrapped the grip department which is the lighting department. He said he didn't get much money to do that film.
Howard asked if working with Jared Leto is okay. Matthew said he was great. He said that they didn't meet until the last scene in the movie. He said he stayed in character the whole time and he never got to meet him until that last day. Howard asked if he really did that. Matthew said he did. He said that's fun and not a pain in the ass. Howard said some people think it's cuckoo. Matthew said it's the best. He said if you do things that aren't constructive then it's not good. He said they are making believe so lets make believe.
Howard asked if he hangs out with Jared Leto now. Matthew said they do talk when they run across each other or they'll write to each other. Howard asked if they're close friends. Matthew said not really.
Howard said if he's the Joker in a movie then you see him as the Joker. Matthew said it works the other way sure. Howard asked if he learned that technique from someone. Matthew said it's just a fun thing to do.
Howard asked if Matthew thought about not doing True Detective. Matthew said they thought about that for 8 seconds. He said it was quality that mattered. Howard said some people over think that stuff. Howard said that's one of the best roles he ever did. Matthew said absolutely. Robin asked why he did just one. Matthew said that's all there was. He said he's not sure when they came up with the idea to do a second season. He said it was never going to be he and Woody returning. He said he'd give it a read if another one came around.
Howard asked if Matthew settled down with his wife because she was the one woman who told him no. Howard said she was kind of rejecting him at first. Matthew said he kidnapped her for their first date. He said she didn't turn him down. He said he was single and at a club on Sunset. He said he was making Margaritas and he saw this creature moving across the room. He said he wondered what ''that'' was. He said she wasn't even a she. He said he went over and introduced himself to her and invited her over for drinks. She knew who he was. He said she wasn't like Wow. He said she just came over and had some drinks by herself. He said he spoke 25 minutes of the best Spanish he ever has that night. He said it was time to go home and she got in a car wreck that night so her car was impounded. He said he invited her to come back with him and his friends. He said they went to his house and kept the party going as long as he could. He said she wanted to get a cab but he talked her into staying in the gust room. He said he got kicked out of that room a couple of times.
Matthew said he got up the next morning and he heard laughter from people in the house. He said there sits this woman holding court with his buddies eating breakfast like they were buddies for years. He said that turned him on. He said he needs a woman who knows herself and is comfortable. He said she had the same dress on and she was fine.
Matthew said he had to drive her 45 minutes away to pick up her car. He said they listened to a new album that he had produced and they didn't say a word for 45 minutes. He said that was fine. He said there was no nervous tension in the car at all.
Matthew said he asked her out and she said no because it was her father's birthday. He said she turned him down one more time and then she finally went out with him. Howard said he has to entertain and start juggling on the first date.
Howard asked what he cooked for her. He said they had some ribeyes and some corn. He said he had a little loft on the beach that they stayed in. He said he took his shirt off and went jogging.
Howard said that he has friends who are good looking. Howard said she could have gone off with them. Matthew said they had no chance.
Howard asked if he gets upset when Jim Carrey makes fun of the commercials he does. Matthew said he takes them as a compliment. Robin asked what he is thinking about when he does them because he scares her. Matthew said he works on the script with those guys. He said in the latest ones they have dogs in the back and he wanted to be in the back at the same time he was in the driver's seat. He said he's in on the joke.
Howard said Matthew did this movie ''Gold'' and he can do any movie he wants. Matthew said it was the first read. He said that it was worth doing. He said he's a producer on this one too. He doesn't do that a lot. He said he doesn't want to be objective when he's in a movie. He said he has to do that when he's producing. Matthew said he knew this world and the relationships in the movie. Howard said he must be able to get any movie green lit now. Matthew said it can help.
Howard said this movie is an adventurer kind of movie. Matthew said it's about a guy who has a dream and he dreams that he ran into a Indonesian guy who knows where the gold is. He goes to make it happen. Howard said guys like that are usually losers. Howard said it's like being a prospector in the old west. Howard said he actually finds it. Howard asked if he based it on his father. Matthew said that this guy was a real guy. He said that he thought about his dad and who he dealt with. He said that his dad was the one who thought that he was going to ''hit a lick'' and he never did. He said that he thought every day they were going to do it but it never did. He said his dad was still the host and he never changed. He said he was captain fun. He said this Kenny Wells was based on that.
Howard said his dad ate life up. Matthew said he did. Howard asked if he prepared for the film like he was his dad. Matthew said his dad would bring him with him to collect money that they were owed. He said that you bring a 12 year old along with you then you can guilt them into it. He said one day they went to a shopping mall and the mall was all broken down. He said there's a white fan in the back and his dad tells him to stay in the car because this is Chicago John. He said the guy gets out and he goes to the back of the van and he has a moving pawn shop full of stuff. He said he had this thing in a bunch of paper towels. He said his dad's shoulders went up like he was excited about it. He said his dad counted off some bills and he was looking up like he was looking for helicopters. He said his dad told him to put it in the glove box. He didn't know what it was. He said his dad told him to look at what it was to see if it was still there. It turns out it was a big, silver watch. He said that it was a $22,000 watch that he just bought for 3 grand. He said it wasn't worth 500 bucks. He said that was how his dad was. He said that interaction is the guy he's playing in ''Gold.'' He said he knew this character automatically.
Howard said the movie is called ''Gold'' and it opens on the 27th. Howard asked if he's still drinking Wild Turkey bourbon. Matthew said he is. He said he's going to be doing another ad for them. Howard asked if he has to drink that if he goes out with him. Matthew said he doesn't have to.
Robin asked where he came u with the character in Interstellar. Matthew said there's no one to base it on but he is a father and his dream was to be an astronaut.
Howard said it's been 15 years since he last saw him. He said it was great to catch up but he is getting the high sign that he has to go. Howard gave him some more plugs and wrapped up before going to break. As they went to break they played a Baba Booey song parody.
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Howard played another clip of an announcer screaming like Benjy too. Howard said even those guys picked up on that. He had audio of Dan Patrick and his guys mentioning that. Howard replayed the clip. Howard said it is odd.
Howard said Robin likes that Matthew McConaughey. Robin said she tried to get him to leave with her but he's still dedicated to his wife.
Howard played a promo for a movie called ''Jackie'' starring Jackie the Joke Man. He played a clip of a phony phone call to a psychic show that some guy did where he calls the psychic a fraud.
Howard said Matthew McConaughey a big star. He said Robin could have run off to run on the beach with him. Robin said 15 years ago Howard had him kiss her. Howard asked if he did really. Robin said he did and he came in and planted one on her. Robin said he came in and did a kissing scene with her in the booth. Howard said her headphones just fell off. Robin said they did. Howard said he tried to get him to bang her but it didn't happen.
Howard said there's a clip of a guy knocking over a candelabra during a prayer session. Howard said you have to look it up on World Star Hip Hop. Howard played the audio of it and said he even loves that. Howard said the guy was trying to pick stuff up during the prayer session. Howard asked what that would sound like if a plane crashed into a prayer session. He played a clip of what that might sound like.
Howard read some more email about JD's birthday party and how Will was complaining about not being invited. Someone wrote in about Benjy and the form of OCD he may have.
Howard said he heard that JD's girlfriend took JD to the Metropolitan Opera over the weekend. Howard asked if that was horrible. JD didn't answer. Howard said he must be tied up with work. JD got on his microphone and said they went and it was fine. JD said it was something he did a little while ago and he knew she'd like it. JD said she was out of town and he went there on his own before. JD said it wasn't the opera though. It was the museum. Howard said he's branching out. Robin said he is not. She said he's being dragged and tortured. JD said he has gone to the ballet and that's a bit much for him. He said they do some cool dance moves sometimes. He said it's few and far between though. Robin said it's not awful. She said she's gone.
Howard said JD is becoming sophisticated. Howard said he sticks his pinkie out when he's eating Filet-O-Fish. Howard said he heard he got dragged to an off Broadway play too. JD said he was dragged to that. He said it was alright. He said it was about a female soccer league. He said they were very close to the actors so it was tough staring at them. Howard said he knows what he means. He said he went to see Hair and the girls were naked and it was like they wanted him to stop looking at their naked boobs. JD said there was a very emotional scene and the actress was staring right at him. He said it was tough.
Howard said this is what happened to Fred. He said he became sophisticated after meeting Alison. Howard said now JD is doing the same. Howard said he's glad to see him branching out. JD said it's nice to see new things. Howard said it takes a good lady to get him out.
Howard read some more email about Tan Mom and Petunia. Howard read some email about some people that listeners would like him to interview. Howard said this guy had a list of a bunch of people. Howard said he has no idea who is going to walk in there. Howard said they're happy to see anybody. Howard said they don't know who it will be though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that interview with Matthew was great and he seems down to earth. He also told Howard that he should get a Rolls Royce as a limo. Howard said imagine him in that.
Howard took a call from a guy, Bobo from Ohio, who said he's about a 20 year listener. He asked if Lee Kingsnatch is the best prank caller ever. Howard said he's certainly one of the best. Howard said he is unbelievable. Howard said he loves his work with Kathy who has that internet radio show. Howard asked if Lee is back there. Howard said maybe he'll get on the squawk box. Lee Kingsnatch got on and Howard asked him to pick one of his greatest phony phone calls to play. Lee said anything where Kathy says ''snatch'' is great. Howard asked how much prep he does for these calls. Lee said he takes 30 seconds to figure out how to get Kathy to say snatch and then he calls. Howard played one of Lee's phone calls where he got Kathy to say some fake Japanese phrases and got her to say ''Pumping Robin's Back Door'' and ''Lets suck Robin's twat lips.'' He also got her to wish Harry Gash a happy birthday. Robin said Kathy must be in on it and she just likes saying dirty things. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said that Lee Kingsnatch also left some voicemails for him. He said he's not sure why. He played one where Lee was drunk and puking talking about how people think he's gay. He said it's a wonder he's not. Howard said it was a series of one after another. He played another one where Lee was talking about wanting Robin's Shitaki mushroom. Howard played one more fake voicemail before moving on.
Robin said that the CHiPs show has been rebooted into a movie. Robin said that Erik Estrada isn't pleased about the movie. Robin said he played Ponch in the TV series. Robin said he put some tweets out about it on Monday. Robin said the original CHiPs guys aren't in it. Robin said Dax Sheppard and Michael Pena are starring in it. Robin said the movie comes out in March.
Robin said a flying car is on its way. Howard said he needs one so bad. Robin said they'll have one ready for testing by the end of the year. Robin said Airbus is the company working on it. Robin said they say it will be self piloted. Howard said that would be beautiful to be able to fly off out of traffic. Robin said even cars these days have great safety features. Robin said they have all kinds of warning signs and stuff. Howard said he should get Ronnie a flying car. Howard asked if a flying car is really just an airplane. Robin said it has to be able to drive on the ground.
Robin read a story about a man who is giving his wife the gift of life by giving her a kidney. Robin said it's their 20th anniversary. Howard said that's lovely. Robin said that the wife has been on dialysis for 2 years. Robin said she only accepted after her condition deteriorated. Howard said Beth gave one of her's to their cats. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how some people might be able to travel like bank documents travel from a drive thru. Howard said he'd love that. Robin said there are some students working on something called a Hyperloop. Robin said people would be traveling in a canister basically.
Robin read a story about how most people don't believe that Russia hacked the election. Robin said they are saying that they don't think it worked but maybe they did hack it. Robin read the details of that story.
Robin read a story about 4 people being shot during a block party to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. day. Robin said that this isn't honoring Martin Luther King when you do something like this.
Robin read a story about a Bruce Springsteen cover band being hired to play a gala for the Trump inauguration. Robin said they have decided not to play to honor Bruce Springsteen. Robin said a lot of performers aren't playing. Robin said that a lot of stars are experiencing backlash over playing the inauguration. Robin said Jennifer Holiday was going to play but she got some backlash. Robin said she was in the Broadway production of Dream Girls. Robin said she's pretty well known outside of Howard's world. Howard said he didn't know who she was. Robin said she got so much backlash that she backed out.
Robin said a lot of democratic politicians are going to boycott the inauguration too. Robin had some names of some people who won't be going. Robin had some audio clips of people talking about why they won't be going. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard asked Robin what's going on with her Twitter. He said she just has a hashtag of #memory. Robin said someone must have forgotten to put in the rest of the tweet.
Robin read a story about Alec Baldwin and some other demonstrators who will be protesting Trump the day before the inauguration.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said something happened that has never happened before. He said he listened to the Ronnie segment twice. He said when he's describing his pussy it sounded great until he talked about the big, bulbous clit. Fred played a clip. Howard said that's his new ring tone. Ralph said the Jason Statham thing was weird too. Howard said he would do anything for Jason when he was ''Jamie.'' Howard said Ronnie wants to be Mrs. Jason Statham.
Howard asked Ralph if he had any staff observations from the Christmas Party. Ralph said something interesting happened but he probably shouldn't talk about it. He said it was two people who are getting married that shocked him. He said he hung with Fred and had a great time. Howard said he didn't know Fred was even there. Fred said he likes Ralph's new look. He said he looks great. Howard asked if Fred is thinking of going blonde too. Fred said no. Howard let Ralph go after that.
Robin read a story about the wife of the Pulse nightclub shooter from last year is due in court today. Robin said they arrested her in California and she'll be facing charges in Florida. Robin said her husband Omar Mateen shot 14 people in the night club.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he has listened to the show for the longest time and he has never heard her stick up for Obama like she did for Trump just now. Robin said she did stick up for him about his birth certificate. Howard asked who would win in a fight, Chris Brown or Soulja Boy. King said probably Chris Brown. He said he's one of the greatest R&B singers of all time.
King's phone was cutting out and getting muffled. King asked about one of the guys on the Wrap Up Show and called him a ''coon'' so Howard let him go.
Robin read a story about how bad people are at picking passwords. Robin said that a security firm did a study and found the most popular password is 123456. Howard said he has Beetlejuice pick his passwords. He had him saying ''Dana Carvey''' but it came out as ''Dabey Carbey.'' Howard said that's who you need to generate passwords. Robin said 111111 isn't far behind the other passwords. Robin said the third most popular is QWERTY. Fred played Wendy the Slow Adult and Beetlejuice saying other names in the wrong way for passwords. Howard said he finished Westworld and he loved it. He said he's watching a series on Netflix too. He said it's another Marvel series. Howard said they have Iron Fist coming out and he's up to episode 4. He said he's going right through that. Robin said Howard hasn't watched Sense8 yet. Howard said she has to send him an email about that. Howard told Gary to do that. They spent a minute talking about that.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik. He said that he found out that Joey Boots died of a heart attack. Robin asked if they're still questioning that. Howard asked if the family let him go to the funeral Erik said yes and it was a beautiful service. Howard said he figured the family wouldn't let him go. Erik said before he passed away they were going to ask Howard to get them into the inauguration. Howard said that's up to Trump. Erik said they wanted to do interviews there. Howard asked if Gary looked into that. Gary said they have a correspondent that's going. Erik said he thought he would ask. Howard said he waited too long because it's this week. Erik said maybe he can cover something in front of Trump Tower instead. Howard said maybe he can. Howard said maybe they'll send him down to the protest. Robin said that's on Thursday. Erik said he can do that. Howard asked if he's into this because Bobo covered something for them. Erik said no to that.
Howard asked if Erik is on a diet after Joey died. Erik said his eating habits have been bad. He said he bought a 20 pack of Coca Cola. Howard said Joey used to monitor what he was eating. Robin said he should have monitored his own. Gary said Shuli heard he had an insane dinner last night. Erik said he had 2 beef patties, pasta and a sausage parm hero. Howard said that's 3 dinners. Erik said yeah. Howard asked what the beef patties were. Erik describe a taco. He had two of those and all of that other food. Howard asked how the food was at Joey's funeral. Erik said he and his friend left before that. He said it was too depressing for him to handle. Howard asked if he has shit yet. Erik said he's shit like 5 times already. Howard said he can't imagine that. He said he shits like 5 times a week.
Howard asked Erik about shitting and found out sometimes he has to break up his shits with a wire hanger. Erik said he has like 100 in his closet. Howard said the guy who invented the hanger probably didn't envision that being a use for it. Howard asked what he does with them after using it to break the shit. Erik said he throws them in the recycle bin. Howard asked if he's ever gotten shit on himself. Erik said never. He said he keeps the hanger far away from him. Howard asked how hard it is to chop up a shit. Erik said it's very hard. He said if the hanger doesn't work he uses a broom stick. He cleans off the broom stick when he's done instead of throwing that out.
Shuli came in and said that he eats a lot of stuff and he's liquid often. He said Joey was up by 12 ounces at the end of the second Craptacular and then Erik dropped a 12 ounce shit. Howard said Erik almost quit until Joey talked him into staying.
Howard asked Erik if he wipes himself before going to get his hanger. Erik said he wipes a few times and then he gets the hanger and tries to break it up into pieces. Fred played a sound of what that might sound like. Shuli said his room isn't next to the bathroom. Erik said he has to run to his room. He said there are 3 toilet stalls. Howard said maybe he should assume he has a huge shit and bring the hanger with him. Erik said that's a good idea.
Howard asked if Erik has ever left it for someone to unclog. Erik said absolutely not. Howard said come on. He said he must have. Erik said it's a community bathroom so he'd never do that. Howard said how about shitting mid-shit. Erik said he does that too. He said he does like 5. It still gets clogged sometimes. Shuli said imagine seeing him running through the halls in his underwear. Erik said he puts his pants back on and runs like crazy.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that Erik is so gross that he doesn't know what he's eating. He said he's eating a taco and calling it a beef patty. Shuli said it's like a meat pillow. Ralph asked if there's anything he won't eat. Erik said he doesn't like onions and peppers. Howard asked what he does at someone's house if he clogs the toilet. Erik said he went to his friend's bathroom and told him that it wasn't flushing. He said he tried plunging but it didn't work. He said his friend's husband had to fix it.
Shuli said he had Erik to his house once. He said Joey shit in the bathroom and stunk up the whole complex. Erik said he's going to Shuli's house to hang out this weekend. Shuli said that they've been in contact lately and he's been face timing with him and his wife. Shuli said he may not be around this weekend. He said they'll see if they're available. Erik said his kids are great and beautiful. Howard said Shuli must be part Wack Packer. Shuli said he's like an undercover cop who's been undercover too long.
Robin got back to her news and read about some people who are saying they think that they'll be able to grow their company under this new administration. She read about some of the things going on with companies who are investing.
Robin read a story about some test that someone wants to do by putting young people's blood in older people. Robin said she doesn't think she'd believe that scam. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Howard started the show asking if anyone was in the mood to do a show. He said he's not. He was up at 3 in the morning. Howard said he caught up on some TV. He said he watched some Rolling Stones documentary that might have been the worst he's seen. He said it was horrible. Robin saw it too and said the same thing. Howard said it was like bands worshiping them. He said they didn't need to do a documentary about that. Howard said there was nothing about the Rolling Stones. He said Mick was walking down the street talking about how hard it is to do that. He said it was the worst documentary he's ever seen. He said he'll watch anything with them in it but that was bad. Howard said they had people in Brazil talking about how much they worship the band and it wasn't good.
Robin said there was a lot of vocal fry on The Bachelor this week. Howard said he heard that. He said he had JD pull some clips. Howard said he asked JD to do that last night. Howard had some clips to play. He said it's becoming an epidemic. Howard said Robin sometimes starts to do it and she can't fall into that. He said she has a great voice. Howard said he'd throw her right off the show. He said he didn't hire that.
Howard said there's something weird going on. He said if you read Dr. Sarno's book there was no back pain before World War II. He said then it became an epidemic. Howard said Dr. Sarno goes into the why about that. He said vocal fry became a thing and you can't understand why it spread so quickly. He said psychologists think it makes women feel more intelligent. He said it's mostly in women who aren't so smart who want to feel smart.
Howard played some clips of some of the women on The Bachelor doing the vocal fry thing. Howard had a clip of Andy Cohen talking about how this is about to get very gay. Howard said it's no though. Howard played some clips of these women talking and having this vocal fry thing. One of the women was Liz. Howard said they got rid of her thank god. Howard played another one where the girl had a lot of vocal fry while talking about something happening over and over. Howard did an impression of the vocal fry. He played another clip and it was really bad in that one. Howard said one of their parents must be a frog.
Howard played a clip of a woman that Robin was talking about. Fred played a frog sound while she was speaking. Howard said she's so bad you can't understand what she's saying. Fred played the frog sound again.
Howard said the women of low IQ are doing this. He said the women on that show have to be low IQ if they're looking for a man on a TV show. Howard said the idea of going on a TV show and throwing yourself at a guy to beat out other girls is mind blowing. He said he loves the show though. He said it's a train wreck.
Howard played another Bachelor clip and the guy, Nick, was seen by the women and they freaked out. Robin said this is like meeting someone on a movie set. She said they cater to every need and then reality hits when it's all over. Howard said if he gets engaged it ruins his career. Robin said this is the 4th time he's done one of these shows. Howard played more of the clip and the girls were all fawning over him. Howard said he had a dream about what it would sound like if he was on that show. It was women screaming and horror music playing.
Howard asked JD what this clip is. He saw one of a reporter who had vocal fry. Howard said this is a NY Times reporter. JD said she was on this show called Democracy Now. Howard said she must be fairly bright to be a reporter. Howard asked why she's doing it. JD said he didn't know. Howard played the clip and she had a tiny bit of vocal fry. Howard said it's not that bad. Robin said it's creeping into the entire generation. Howard played the clip again and she did have a bit of it. Howard said that's not too bad.
Howard had another clip of a guy who has vocal fry. It was one of Memet's friends. Howard started to play it and said if guys start doing it he's done. Howard played about a second of that and cut it off.
Howard had another clip of a guy doing it on Project Runway. Howard said the guy is dressed as a woman so maybe that's why he was doing it. Howard played that and laughed as he heard it. Robin said maybe women should listen to this and it'll teach them not to do it. Howard played more of that guy doing it and said maybe a penis poked his vocal chords.
Howard said speaking of strange voices, he thinks George Takei is working too hard. He said he was interviewed by Yahoo News. He said that he's defending Muslims and you have to hear his voice. Howard played a clip of George talking to a reporter and his voice was shot. He could barely speak. Howard said he's obviously ill. Howard said he should have rescheduled. Howard said he'd throw him right out if he showed up. Robin said something and she had some vocal fry so Howard said he can't bust her balls too much. Robin said she'll have to start watching that. Howard said she doesn't need that. Howard said she's an intelligent woman. Robin said maybe she wants to sound young. Howard said it makes her sound old.
Howard played more of George Takei trying to speak with his shot voice. Howard laughed. He said it's so important that he get that out. Howard said maybe he has one of Brad's pubic hairs stuck in his throat. Howard said he loves George. He said his message is so important he had to get it out even though he can barely talk. Howard did an impression of George speaking. Howard said he can't get over the fact that he was taken to a Japanese American Internment Camp when he was a child. Robin said there is talk of a Muslim registry.
Howard played more of George talking and said that no one really gives a shit. Howard said he could have waited 2 days for his voice to clear up. He said that he lost all credibility when he grabbed Jason Ellis' penis in there. Howard said his voice was fine that day. Howard asked Fred to find the clips of George talking about how beautiful his cock was. Howard said his voice was fine that day and clear as a bell. He said that's the George he loves.
Howard took a call from a guy and Fred played the ''Hey boner'' George Takei clip. Howard said they should do a whole day of that. The caller asked what it's going to take for him to stop watching The Bachelor. Howard said he likes it. He's not going to stop. The caller asked what it would take. Howard said nothing as long as there are hot chicks vying for a dude he's there. The caller asked if Simon Cowell was the host. Howard said he'd stop watching then.
Howard said now Los Angeles is going to have two shitty teams. He said the game is going to be banned soon anyway. Howard said the players are getting Alzheimers from concussions by the age of 30. He said he wouldn't want that on his head. Howard said he tried to talk to Jon Bon Jovi about that. Howard said he wouldn't want that responsibility. He said fuck that. He said he knows Jon is passionate about it though. Howard said he wouldn't want to own a team. Robin said he sees it as the guys doing it as their own choice. Howard said many of the players aren't any smarter than a Bonsai tree. Robin said there are plenty of them making a good living and having a great life. Howard said the world is divided by people who have a brain and those who don't. He said there are a lot of morons out there.
Gary said that Bo Jackson came out and said he wouldn't have played football and he wouldn't let his kids play. Howard said of course not. Howard asked on what planet you'd put your son into a football league to break his neck or have water on the knee or something. Howard said just play tennis or something. He said that's a nice sport. He said there is money in it. Robin said Field Hockey. Howard said that's for pussies. Howard said play golf and you won't get brain damage. Howard said you can socialize when you play these other games.
Howard said their general manager would play golf and get people to advertise on the show. Howard said that's the way to do it. Howard said that's a social game. Howard said he knows some guys who can barely walk after playing football or basketball. Howard said it's brutal on your knees. Howard said that he played the penis his whole life.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that he vocal fry thing came from women trying to sound bored. He said it came from the valley girl kind of thing. Howard said he's going with the psychologists and what they're saying it is. Howard said the caller has a good point about the valley girl thing though. He said back in the 40s they spoke really fast and in a unique way. The caller said he's hearing a lot of men speaking with the vocal fry thing. He said he does a lot of interviews with younger people.
The caller also corrected Howard on the name from The Fly. He said it's Brundle and not Brindle. Howard thanked him for the correction. Howard said he should know that. He said that's embarrassing. He said he always thought it was Brindle. Howard said it's too much football.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks the Kardashian's brought the vocal fry thing to everyone. Howard said he doesn't think they invented it. The caller said they did help spread it though.
Howard said that King of All Blacks is on the phone and he wants to apologize. Howard asked for what. King said he called that dude Rahsaan a ''coon'' yesterday. He said it bothered him yesterday. Howard said that's not cool to call him a ''coon.'' King said that it should be said to some people who deserve it. He said they have to be black. Howard said he doesn't know this guy though. He said he called him that and it offended him. Gary said Rahsaan is on the Wrap Up Show with them and he said that King doesn't represent the black community very well. Howard said he didn't want to hear it yesterday. He said King ruined what Martin Luther King did in just one day.
King said there are people who do certain things that make you call them a coon. He said that's what he was thinking with Steve Harvey when he met with Trump. Howard said maybe he's trying to make him more racially sensitive. King said he just did it to get more basketball courts in the inner cities and things. Howard asked what's wrong with that. King said what they need is books and learning, not basketball courts. Howard said he has to go. He thanked him for the apology.
King said he thinks he knows why Howard wakes up early. He said its his fear of dying. Howard thanked him and hung up.
Howard had a clip of a guy talking about how black people should be thanking white people for freeing them. Howard said that's like him thanking someone for getting raped in the ass and the guy stops in the middle of it. Howard said this is the governor of Maine. Howard played another clip of the guy talking about what ''these people'' are doing. Howard said that Maine is beautiful. He said he loves it but this kind of ruins it. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard said Beth calls Siri ''Suri'' and he has corrected her. Howard said to get it going you have to say ''Hey Siri'' and Beth says ''Hey Suri'' and she won't do it. Howard said she won't change. Howard said she won't say Siri. Howard said she refuses to hear him. He said something is up there and she gets aggravated when it doesn't respond. Howard said she says it so loud that she blocks it out. Robin asked if she ever gets it. Howard said it's like 20 tries later. Robin said it should respond. Howard said he thinks it's that he corrected her and she won't do it. Howard said it's like Tom Cruise's kid's name but not the computer. Robin said you'd think that it would pick it up as Suri or Siri. Robin said it seems that it should be an intuitive learning thing. Howard said if he calls Robin ''Steve'' she's not going to respond. Howard said he doesn't know the answer to what Robin is asking.
Howard said the easy answer it to just say Siri. Howard said he thinks it's a thing. Howard said he must get on her nerves when he corrects her. Howard said he doesn't do that very often with her. Howard said he was just trying to help. Howard said it's Siri and not Suri. Robin said maybe he should ask if she wants his help. Howard said he's not going to do that. He said if he saw Fred doing it then he'd tell him he's doing it wrong. Robin said in this case he could tell her what it is after asking if she wants to hear it. Howard said Robin can do that. He said he's not going to.
Howard said they were walking the other day and she had her phone with her. He said she loves the phone. Howard said Beth wanted to look something up and she said ''Hey Suri.'' He said he asked her to say ''Hey Siri'' and she didn't want to hear it. Howard asked what's going on there. Howard said it's become a thing. Robin said maybe he has an edge on his voice. Howard said he doesn't think so. He said he must irritate her. He said they've had a good run of 17 years and now he's irritated her. Howard said he's not sure why this is annoying to her though. Howard said it's only when they do the Siri thing.
Howard asked Arnold about who they have on the show like Boy George, Carnie Wilson and others. Arnold said he has no one to blame his farts on now that Carnie is gone. Howard asked who is winning the show. Arnold said everyone but him. He said he has a plan to turn things around though. He said he's firing everyone and replacing them with ugly maids who are fighting to fuck him. Howard said he'd watch that show.
Howard asked Arnold about Trump and he said he won't shit on him because he prefers pee. Arnold said he'd like to pay Robin to run a feather duster up his ass.
Howard asked Arnold to talk to him about Donald Trump talking about Meryl Streep. Arnold said he doesn't think she has any range because she's never done an action hero movie.
Howard asked Arnold if he's seen any of he new movies that are out. Arnold said he liked Manchester By the Sea. Howard asked him about a few other movies and Arnold had some joke comments about them. Howard said he can see they're not getting anywhere. Howard thanked him for calling in. He said it's Siri and not Suri. The pre-recorded clips didn't have an answer for that. They had Arnold saying that Howard has to hang up first. Robin said he used to be so busy. They had him say yes. Howard said goodbye again and hung up.
Ralph said he has only had his thing for a couple of days and it does so many cool things. He said he doesn't even know some of the things it can do. Howard had some audio of Gary asking Alexa questions. Howard said that goes on and on. Robin said that this is an improvement for Ralph. He's never wanted someone to talk to before. Howard said that's right. He said he likes the idea of Alexa but he's creeped out by her listening all the time. Gary said Siri is doing the same thing. He said it's just in another room though. Gary said Alexa would be too. Howard said he doesn't want it. He said just get over it.
Robin said she thinks she'd use Alexa. Robin said she's constantly on the computer looking stuff up. Howard said the stuff he looks up is so embarrassing he wouldn't want to say it out loud. Howard said he was looking up some stuff the other night and he wanted to see Matthew McConaughey's wife. He said he's not going to ask Alexa for that. Robin said it can't show you anything though. Howard said there's more shots of Matthew with his top off than his wife. Howard said she's very attractive.
Howard played a new phony phone call the guys made to an internet radio show using his voice. They had Howard talking about a porno movie and had him describing it to the host of the show. They had Howard talking about jerking off and things like that. They went to break after that.
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Howard read about one guy who is going to be pardoned 20 years ahead of schedule for this FALN mastermind who served 35 years of his 50 year sentence. Howard said this guy was part of this FALN that was trying to free Puerto Rico from U.S. control. Howard asked who'd stop them. Robin said you can't stop it. Howard read about what this group did in 1975 and how they killed some people with bombs. Howard said this guy Lopez has another 20 years on his sentence and Obama says he can leave now. He asked why. Robin said they have to apply for these things and they have to meet certain criteria. Robin said he's not hearing anything about what they have done.
Howard read more about what this Lopez guy has done in prison and how he didn't show any remorse for what he has done. Howard asked why Obama isn't explaining why he's letting these people out. robins said they don't usually do that. Howard said this guy is 75 years old. Howard said Ronnie is like 75 and he's out there doing crazy shit.
Howard said Ronnie went to Florida for a wedding and Steven Tyler was there playing at the wedding. Howard said Ronnie is out there having a lot of fun. Robin said he should be like that all the time without a hypnotist.
Howard said Ronnie had that revelation of hearing his parents having a threesome and then he jerked off. Howard said they asked people on the street what they think about this. Howard played some audio and people were saying that they wouldn't want anything to do with that. One guy said he'd shoot all three of them. One guy said he'd be scarred for life. A lot of people were disturbed by the story. Howard said that not one person said it was something they understood or would do.
Howard said he's not sure what President Obama is thinking with this pardon for this guy who blew people up. Robin said this is the problem with not having the death penalty. Robin said that at the time they would have wanted the guy to die. Robin said they hang around and never go away. Gary said he wasn't convicted of murder. Howard said he was part of the group that planned it though. Robin said Charles Manson didn't kill those people either. Howard said as soon as you hear about a plot you have the obligation of ending it.
Howard said Brent claims to be an expert on this. He had Brent come in to explain. Brent came in and said that he thinks that this guy is getting out because he wasn't convicted of the crime. He said he's also the only one of the group left in prison. He said from what he read he's one of the leaders of the group and he was convicted of conspiracy but not the bombing that Howard talked about. Robin and Fred had more details of what he was arrested for. Robin said there may be new laws in place now that would have been much more stringent.
Howard asked Brent if his pubes grew back. Brent said they have. He said it's about 1/3 of what it was. He said that it was itchy for a while. He said you have to scrub it when it's growing back in. He said you have to scrub them in the shower so they don't get ingrown.
Howard asked how he felt with it fully waxed. Brent said his wife loved it. He said she wants him to do it again. Howard thanked him for that. Brent said he's with Howard on this pardon. He said he doesn't think Obama should be doing it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he became a Gaga Fan because of Howard's show. He said that he heard she's going to be performing at the Super Bowl. He said that they protect domestic abusers more than anyone else. He said she should take that chance to speak out. He also said that Bill Clinton is a vocal fry guy. Howard said he was born like that though. He didn't just start doing it.
Howard said he's not sure about the speaking out thing with Lady Gaga. He said he might have a point though. He said he's not sure he'll look into it though. Howard said he and Robin were asked to sing but they turned it down. Howard said good thing is that they don't get asked to do anything. He said they're never asked to do anything legitimate. Howard said the most legitimate thing he ever did was America's Got Talent. He said he has been offered so many TV shows now. He said that he's been asked to host in so many areas. He said he should tell Robin what he's turned down. Robin said he has to ask if they want to get involved with him. She said that she's done that when people ask her to do something
Howard said he's said no to a bunch of things. He said those things take up a lot of time and time is a commodity. Robin said he's not 23 anymore. Howard told her to rub it in. Howard said he needs some of that young blood that Robin talked about yesterday in the news. Howard said he wants that blood pumped into him. Robin said she thinks that's a scam.
Howard said Wolfie took this guy Ruby and Mick the Nerd to this convention. Howard said Wolfie said the place smelled of body odor. Howard played a clip of Mick and Ruby talking about their favorite series. Mick was interviewing Ruby about his favorite comic book characters and things like that. Ruby had that speech impediment and Mick has that very unique voice. Howard said that conversation is like Kryptonite to pussy.
Howard told Robin both men are available. He played a clip of Ruby singing the Ewok song from Return of the Jedi. Ruby asked the guy dressed up as a Tuskan Raider if he wanted to hear it. The guy said yes so Ruby sang the song to him. Howard said he thinks they have a new Wack Pack right there. Howard said Wolfie has a good eye for talent. Wolfie said he might be good on a red carpet interview.
Howard said now Ruby finds this guy dressed up as Red Hood. Howard played that clip and Ruby was talking to the guy and trying to ask questions but he had that stuttering stammering thing going on. He had trouble getting his question out. The guy was in a mask so his voice was muffled. Howard said all of these guys love villains that no one has heard of. They're really obscure. Wolfie said they want people to try to figure out who they are.
Howard said he thinks that the biggest douchy thing to do is sing the Ewok song. Jason came in to talk about the Red Hood character. Howard asked Jason if he scratches his face. Gary said Jason puts his face on his door when he's talking to him. Howard said he looks like he did something to his face.
Howard asked who Red Hood is. Jason said it's a gang and you never know who the leader is. Jason told the story about how The Joker got pulled into that gang and he ends up as the Joker. He had some other stories about how one of the Robin's is in the Red Hood gang. Gary said there's a whole geek thing going on. Brent had more details about the characters and who is in the gang. He was going on and on about these characters.
Howard was following along but not Robin. Robin didn't have any idea who they were talking about. Howard said if he wanted to get back into comics he'd have to pick up from when Dick Greyson was still Robin. Howard said he'd have to go way back. Brent said he could start with some rebirth stuff. Jason told Howard he should start with Scott Snider's Batman. Jason said that he could use his Kindle for that. Howard said he wouldn't want to do that. Howard said he might start reading some. He said he's reading real books and there are no pictures. He said he likes reading with pictures.
Howard asked Jason about the characters and Robin was still confused. Jason told Howard about some of the stuff that shows up in the comic books but Howard cut him off and let him leave.
Howard had some more Ruby clips to play. He had a montage of his stuttering to play. Howard said it's almost musical. He said he should take up sign language.
Howard said he has the Blue Hood on the phone. Howard picked up and he had a guy who had a speech impediment talking about what his character is. He had a long back story and Howard gave up after a few seconds and hung up.
Robin read about some of the people who show up to the New York Comic-Con. Robin read about some of the people there. Robin said that Bobby Brown would be there but she was talking about Millie Bobby Brown from ''Stranger Things.'' Howard said he's getting kind of sick of her showing up at all of the award shows. Robin said Dean Caine will be there. Robin mentioned some other people and Howard knew who some of them were. Howard said a lot of the kids in shows like Stranger Things are cute but they're still kids. Robin said they get cast when they're cute but they keep growing. Howard said his girlfriend was the best looking girl in summer camp. He said he turned 13 and then he had no girlfriend. Howard said he was even cute at some point. He said then his nose and Adam's apple grew.
Robin went through some other people. Wolfie said they had all of The Avengers but Robert Downey Jr. at this con. Howard said he doesn't need to go to those things. They talked about some of the characters from The Walking Dead. Howard said he thinks the son, Carl, has an issue with his ears or something. Howard said he has that big hair grown out for some reason.
Howard had a clip of Mick the Nerd naming all of the different types of Kryptonite. Mick had a long list that he ran down in 15 seconds. Howard said he was born to answer that. He said he hit that just right. Howard said he was a big Kryptonite fan and he knew of about 3. He said that they had Gold, Red and Green. Howard said now they have a pink one that turns him temporarily gay. He said that's ridiculous. Howard said it would be red because it makes you act differently than he normally is. Howard read about the blue, orange, black, periwinkle, gold, white, red/green and more. Howard said comic books became too complicated. Howard said you need a PhD to figure it out.
Howard said he thinks this guy Ruby is a good find. Wolfie said he thinks he'd be good doing interviews. Howard said they have to get something going with them. Howard said he thinks Ruby is this close to being in the Wack Pack.
Wolfie asked Howard about what his birthday parties were like when he was a kid. Howard said it was pretty good. He said his mom would have them at home. Howard said she would invite like 8 friends. Howard said he has films from those days. Howard said he always did a puppet show even though it was his birthday. Howard said he should have had a fucking day off. He said his mom would make fried chicken and French fries. He said she'd make an ice cream bar where you could make your own. He said he liked that. He said he got a lot of gifts. He said he'd get model cars as gifts and he hated that. He said he wanted something that was already put together.
Howard said he would get monster masks and stuff. He said that the kids would get him stuff that they were into and not stuff he was into.
Howard said his parents called him and left him a voicemail. He said his mother was pretty normal about it. He said he was going to pay it but he felt bad. Howard said his mom said that she wanted to wish him a happy birthday and tell him that she was thinking of him. Howard said then his father got on. He was doing impressions of the two of them. Howard said his dad said he was glad to be there for another year with him. He said then it just fades off. Howard said then they hang up after fumbling with the phone. Howard said his dad didn't say ''I love you'' or anything like that. He said he just hung up. He said he should say something but it's too upsetting. His dad was just happy to be alive. Howard said his father never called him. He just said he was happy to be alive on his birthday. He said it's the worst message ever. He said it's no wonder he's so fucked up. He said there's no hope of him getting out of the psychiatrist's office.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked if Wolfie is still on. Howard said he's gone. Ralph said Wolfie goes to these shows and goofs on people but Wolfie said he bought an Amazing Spider-Man for $1000. He said that Howard actually gave him that same issue. Ralph said he put a thing like a picture frame that stands up. He said it's the first appearance of The Punisher. Howard said he has to see that apartment some day. He said he has to see what's going on over there. Ralph said it's like 1,500 square feet and he keeps the more expensive stuff up front. Howard said his apartment sounds like a Toys R Us.
Howard said today is Big Foot's birthday. He said he's in his 50s. He asked Robin how old she thinks he is. Robin said 52. Howard said he's 59 years old. Robin sounded shocked. Howard played a birthday song parody for Big Foot.
Howard played a clip of a guy out on the street talking to people about telling his son that he's been using his tuition money for hookers. They went to break after that.
Fred said he has ''Low'' by Flo Rida too. Howard asked what happened to that guy. He said he hasn't heard from him lately. Howard said he was in and black strippers were throwing money at him while he was singing. Robin said he was on America's Got Talent a few years ago. Howard said that means you're at the end of the line. Jason said he has a hit song called ''My House.'' Robin knew that one. Gary said he was on the show twice. He said the first time he was on he made it rain. He said they let them have the money that time but the second time they took the money.
Howard said JD was in love with the girl who came in with Flo Rida because she had a huge ass. JD said her name was Ashley. He said she was one of the hottest girl's he's ever seen in his life. Howard asked JD if he's ever banged anyone with a huge ass. JD said he has not. He said he's only been able to admire them from afar.
Robin said they think about JD getting sophisticated but one time he followed someone out of the studio and into the subway. JD said he was going to get lunch one day and he thought he saw this actress, Katrina Bowden, and he only followed her a certain distance. He wasn't following her the whole day.
Howard said JD always gets the girl with the biggest ass at the strip club. Robin said she'd bet that he got the fattest ass girl with the money he spent from his tax return refund. Howard asked if he would ever get a girl with an ass implant. JD said he doesn't think he'd do that. He said his girlfriend has a nice ass.
Howard said Janet Jackson had a huge ass. He said J-Lo had a huge ass at the MTV awards too. He said he was talking to P Diddy and she turned to her side and he'd never seen anything like that in his life. He said Janet Jackson too. He said her ass was like a shelf.
Ronnie came in so Howard asked him about the wedding he went to. Ronnie said that Steven Tyler did a whole concert there. He said it was kind of casual but it was Steven Tyler and his new band. He said he has some hot chicks in there too. Ronnie said they had a band playing but then after dinner they had Steven Tyler and his whole band. He said they were great. He said the wedding was great. Howard asked who this guy is. Ronnie said he's Kurt Busch and he does well. He said he has his own jet too. Howard asked how he met him. Ronnie said he was up there years ago and he met him then. He said he took him on a tour and they became friends. Howard asked if they goof on him. Ronnie said they have hung out. He said when he goes to a race he hangs out. Howard asked if Steven Tyler knew who he was. Ronnie said no. He said there were 300 people there.
Howard asked if he talks to this NASCAR guy on the phone. Ronnie said they text almost every day. He said they have a whole group. Howard asked what kind of money a NASCAR guy can make. Ronnie said they do really well. Howard said if he has Steven Tyler there it has to be a lot. He said that's like 2 million there. He said the guy must be rolling in dough. Fred said he has a net worth of $25 million. Howard said you need more than that to pay for a private jet and have Steven Tyler there.
Howard asked Ronnie what you give a guy like that for a gift. Ronnie said they did a donation to an animal thing. He said his wife is into that stuff. Fred said that he read another report that he's worth 50 million. Howard said that sounds more like it.
Howard said Ronnie didn't want to listen to his own hypnosis segment. Ronnie said he can't listen to it. He said he heard about it. He heard some of the clips that Howard has played. He said he remembers the laughing. He said it was so uncontrollable. He said he wasn't able to stop it. He didn't remember the speaker bit and all of that. He said he remembers parts of it.
Howard said he's glad he doesn't remember it. Howard asked if he remembers blowing Fred. Ronnie said he knows he didn't do that.
Ronnie said the reason he came in is because he was talking about JD and his girls. He said years ago he would request that Lonnie find him girls with big asses. He said he didn't care if they were white, black or Spanish. JD said he's all for it no matter what they are. JD said they went to Tootsie's in Florida and that is like heaven on earth. Ronnie said there are a lot of Cuban girls down there. Howard asked if he thinks it's weird that he's not with a girl like that. JD said not at all. He said none of them were into him. Howard asked if he ever dated a black chick. JD said no. Robin said he didn't date anyone. Ronnie said he has dated. Ronnie said he had one blond chick on the road.
JD said he likes it when you see a girl can move her ass right. He said that's what matters when you're having sex. Howard asked if he likes cellulite. JD said that a little bit is okay.
Howard asked if he ever gets smelly ass. JD said he has not had one yet. Howard said he got one once. He said he had a girl at Scores with a smelly ass. Howard said she turned around and shook her ass an it smelled. Howard said she did not bathe. Ronnie said he's been there too. Howard said he kept quiet about it. Ronnie said you just say you want to hang with your friends when they want to do another dance.
Howard said he thought Robin would be into chicks so he brought her to the strip club. Robin said she wasn't into it. She said it was disgusting. Robin said she doesn't want a girl rubbing all over her. Ronnie said she dated someone who brought her to strip clubs. Robin said they just sat at a bar and drank. Ronnie said she has to go with the right person. Howard said here is no right person. Howard said she's a buzz kill. Robin said when she was with Sally Field and John Lithgow at the play they went back stage and she told Howard Sally asked to have a drink. Robin said when they got to her she said she doesn't drink the hard stuff. She said Sally said she doesn't either but on an occasion like this she does. Robin said she realized she was being a buzz kill.
Robin said she remembers being dragged to a strip club in Vegas and she saw these women who looked like hot fudge sundae's melting on Howard. She said that Howard is a germophobe. Howard said it's only for some things. He said for that he's fine.
Howard asked JD about the reverse cowgirl thing he mentioned. Howard said he tried it once and he almost broke his dick. Howard said that the porn girls do it for the movie but not in their personal life. Ronnie said some girls do. Howard said he doesn't know any. He said he doesn't have much dick though.
Howard asked JD what his favorite position is. JD said he doesn't want to get into it. He said it's normal stuff. He said he likes it from behind. Howard said that ass has to be really big. JD said it looks good. Howard said his favorite is doggy because the girl can't see him.
Gary said that Will told him that the ass was so big on the girl once that he wasn't able to see JD behind it. He said JD's not a small guy either.
Howard said it was nice of his buddy to have Steven Tyler at the wedding. Ronnie said he did an hour and 20 minutes and he was gone. He said after that they moved to another room and had another band. He said that they played for 3 and a half hours without a break. He said they got out at like 1:30 in the morning. Howard said he must have some bank account. Ronnie said it was beautiful. Howard said he didn't know the NASCAR guys had that kind of cash. Ronnie said he has sponsors too. Howard said watch and he'll be divorced in a year if he keeps spending that kind of money. Gary said Jason looked up his wife and she's a model and the daughter of a billionaire. Howard said maybe the father paid for it. Ronnie said he doesn't think so. He said he knows Kurt spent a lot of time planning it.
Ronnie told Howard about hanging out with Kurt on his wife's father's 98 foot yacht. Howard said he's got a model wife too. Ronnie said that they have a house in North Carolina too.
Howard said that it's so great that Steven Tyler shows up. Howard took a look at the wife. Howard said she's got some body. He said she's a billionaire. He said her name is Ashley. Howard said he'd marry her if she was half that good looking. Howard asked Ronnie if he's ready to get married after that. Ronnie said it's up to Stephanie.
Howard said that Kurt should keep his mind on driving. Ronnie said he does and he does very well. Howard asked what he last won. Ronnie said he won a couple this year. Howard asked if he won the championship. Ronnie said he didn't but he did win some races. Howard asked how long you can be at the top of your game in racing. Ronnie said Dale Earnhart was like 50. He said Tony Stewart just retired in his mid-40s. He said they go to mid 40s usually.
Howard said this guy married right. He said he doesn't have to worry about money. Ronnie said they're really nice people too. He said not everyone is nice. Howard asked how that guy has money. Ronnie said he's in construction. Howard asked what he built. Ronnie said he builds buildings. He said it's not houses.
Howard asked who Ronnie has met who are wealthy but not nice. Ronnie said he's met some. He said there are some who have a reason not to be nice. Howard asked where happy Ronnie is. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said he can't believe it was a week ago. Fred played some clips of Ronnie from that day.
Robin asked if he knew he was into Jason Statham when he was ''Jamie.'' Ronnie said Stephanie told him about that. He didn't remember it. He said that's why he didn't want to listen back to it. Fred played more clips of Ronnie acting weird. They played a song parody with his laughs in it too.
Robin said he told them about some things that he didn't tell them about the threesome thing. Howard said he told them that he saw their feet and legs. Howard asked if he finds Jason Statham hot. Ronnie said he just thinks he's cool. Howard said he is good. Ronnie said he met him there. Howard said Ronnie seems to be meeting a lot of people there. He said Jason was there when he was promoting a movie with Melissa McCarthy. He said that Jason grabbed him and he knew who he was. He said he's a big fan of the show. He said he's a cool dude.
Ronnie said he heard about looking under the door shit and he was upset about that. Howard let Ronnie go after that. He said he's just back from that big wedding. Howard said he knows that it costs a lot to get big acts like that to show up. He said it has to be a million bucks. Howard said Mariah Carey and Elton John were paid $4.2 million to play a Russian guy's wedding. Howard said that's when you know who has the power. He said they have you play for them on their boat.
Robin said these guys have a lot of money but there are people who can buy and sell them. Howard said they should do radio shows at people's weddings. Howard said they could go up with microphones and just do a show. Howard said the guests can be on the show.
Howard said Shuli was talking to Underdog Lady about Michael Keaton because he was supposed to come in but then he canceled. Howard said they were asking Underdog about Michael Keaton. Howard played some audio of Shuli talking to her about Michael Keaton as Batman. She watched the movie but stopped when the Joker would come on.
Howard said she went into it more and she said that Superman overshadowed Underdog so it was hard for her to get bookings. Howard played that clip and Underdog was upset about how she wasn't able to get bookings in 1989 because of that. She said she had to tell people it was the 25th anniversary of Underdog because they didn't know. Howard said he doesn't mean to break the bubble but Underdog was never that popular. He said she is very interesting. He said she dedicated her whole life to Underdog. He said she always has a problem related to Underdog though. He said 1989 was a bad year. Robin said she thinks it's more than that year. Howard said the glass is always fully empty for her.
Howard said that they told Underdog Lady that he and Beth rescue cats and it kind of shut her up a little bit. Howard played some audio of Shuli telling her that. Underdog said ''Oh that's nice.'' Howard said maybe she'll show up there some day.
Howard said he was supposed to play a song to take a pee but he never did. He said this show goes on for days. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard came back and said he was listening to this tape about kids talking about getting on a football team and they have to do all kinds of weird hazing stuff. He said he's not sure it's that great to get on the team. Howard played a clip of a reporter talking about the hazing. The player talked about the names they call you and how they make fun of you for not being able to take a hit. The guy also talked about using their fingers to tickle your butt crack and things like that. Howard said he'd just leave if that was the case. Howard said he's not sure why he'd stay on the team. Howard said he thinks this is unique to football too. He said he doesn't think baseball players eat each other out.
Howard said this show is called Outside the Lines. He said he's never seen it before. Howard played more audio of the player talking about getting a broomstick up his ass. Howard asked how they get anyone to join that team. He said that's just crazy. He said it's hard enough to catch a ball without all of that going on.
Howard played another clip of a guy talking about how they poked a player in the butt just for fun. That was a guy from Clemson University.
Howard said he doesn't know much about sports but ESPN has like 50 channels. Gary rattled them off to Howard. Howard said they have a college channel. He said they have one channel where they have people watching and talking during a game. JD came in and said ESPN had these people talk while you're watching the game. Howard said this is from ESPN-U. Howard said these people just talk over one another. It was really hard to follow because everyone was talking at the same time. They weren't having a discussion, they were just talking. Howard asked if they told them to talk one at a time. JD said he doesn't know. Howard said they had like 4 different conversations going on. Robin said there were only 4 people in the room.
Howard asked if they've run out of things to talk about. Robin said they have a show similar to this in England where they talk about shows but they don't talk over one another. Howard said this is the worst programming he's ever seen on TV.
Howard asked Sal what happened. Sal came in and said he talked to Benjy about it and he didn't know if he should bring it up on the air. He said that he had the same experience that he had when he was a kid. He said he thought his bed rose up but he levitated on his own. He said he did it again and he flew around. He said he was able to leave his house and he flew to the stars and back. Howard asked why Jimmy Kimmel came on. Sal said he was able to watch the show while he was in spirit form. Howard asked why he thinks he's the chosen one. Sal said he's researched this on the internet and it's called sleep paralysis. He said that your body is asleep but the soul wants to go out and experience things. Howard said Sal's body was on the ground but his spirit was in the sky. Sal said he was able to go through walls and stuff. He said that he went all the way up to the stars but he got scared and came back down.
Fred said he's just dreaming. Sal said he's not. He said he'll tell you why. He said it was in real time. He said that when he flew up he told himself to leave his body. He said he was trying to wake himself up. Sal said he left his body and saw the bed and saw Jimmy on. He said he was floating around.
Gary said Sal told that story from when he was a kid and said his bed slammed down but now he's changing the story. Sal said he realizes now that he was the one flying around.
Sal said Jimmy Kimmel just happened to be on. He said he didn't watch that. Sal said he left his body again and did a somersault over the bed. Robin asked where his wife was. Sal said she wasn't home. Howard said of course not.
Sal said a big hand came out while he was floating. He said he didn't touch it because he knew he'd be dragged into something.
Howard asked Sal what they call that white thing they put crazy people in. Sal said it's a straight jacket. He spelled it ''Strait Jacket'' though.
Sal said he saw a Buddha statue near the hand when he was floating around. He said that was floating next to the hand. He said he looked back at that and there were smaller hands around the big hand. He said that was getting crazy so he held his ground and went back in his body. He said he woke up after that. Howard said that's the key word. Woke up. Howard said he was asleep. Sal said he went back in his body and then woke up. Sal said he was in a different dimension and he knew things were going to be okay in his life. Howard said Robin is just staring at him. He said that's when there should be a TV show.
Howard said this is when Sal doesn't get a lot of sleep. Sal said that's right. He said a lot of people have experienced this. Howard said Sal is a moron in many dimensions. Fred asked if he's taking medications. Sal said no but then he said he is taking Propananol. Howard asked if he still takes his bag of vitamins. Sal said he's only taking 3 a day. Howard said the Long Island Psychic thinks he's nuts.
Howard said he has a creature from another dimension on the phone. Howard picked up and the guy told him to stay out of their dimension. He said they saw him coming and told him to somersault right out of there. He told him to put a straight jacket over his head.
Howard let Sal go and said even with all of that hair stuff he uses he still has a huge bald spot on the back of his head. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Sal is loony and he has to stay away from him. Howard said Sal believes he left his body. The caller said he thinks he's going to snap one day before his contract is up.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he wanted to thank him after hearing a segment on a show where he was goofing on JD and his job interview skills. He said he gave him advice on how to answer the question ''Why should I hire you?'' He said he gave the answer Howard suggested and he got the job. Howard said he got a job because he listened to the show. Howard said this is a banner day. Howard said if you're applying for a job don't say you can float to another dimension. The caller said it was a stressful interview so he had to call and thank him for the suggestion.
Tanner Mom interrupted and said that Sal is floating and she can't get him down. Howard asked Tanner Mom what she thinks about Donald Trump. She said he's great but he can go fuck himself. She said he's a dick but he's so sweet and nice.
Robin started her news with a story about how New York City has the most rats and roaches. Howard said that Boston must have the most roaches. Robin said she thinks it's New York City but then said they ranked 9th in roaches. She said it's third in rats and mice. Robin said that Philly has the most rats and mice and New Orleans is number 1 with roaches. Howard said he had a wall covered in roaches and he thought the wall was moving. He said they went to the landlord and he didn't do anything until they threatened him with going to the board of health. Howard said Richard once had a roach run into his mouth while he was sleeping. Robin said there was a guy on the subway who had a rat crawling all over him.
Robin said Howard is very pro-abortion. Howard said he is. He said he's the opposite of those religious nuts. Howard said he doesn't think women who don't want kids should have them. Howard said you have to worry about people living now on this planet. He said there are so many fucked up people because they're not raised properly. Robin asked if those people who are irresponsible get abortions. Howard said that's a good point. Howard said most people aren't ready to have a baby. He said just use your fucking head. He said he loves abortion. He asked how many people can say that.
Howard said he has Sour Shoes on the phone. Howard picked up but the phone was ringing. Sour was there but the phone was ringing too. He hung up. Howard said maybe it wasn't him. He said he hasn't heard from him in forever. Howard said he wrote them notes.
Howard asked Tanner Mom if that was Sour Shoes. Tanner Mom asked if someone can slip her some toilet paper. She said she shit herself.
Robin said the abortion rate is dropping. Howard said if you don't want one then don't get one. Robin said some people go past the date they can get one. Robin said you wind up with people who shouldn't have one. Howard said he remembers women mutilating themselves when abortion was illegal. Howard said don't let religious kooks take over this country. Howard said don't worry so much about abortions. Robin read a report about the rate dropping to 15 abortions per 1000 women. Tanner Mom said she was aborted and she's fine. Robin read about what's cutting back on the rate. Robin said that birth control is helping as well. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard asked Robin to get back to the news. Tanner Mom told her it's time to start it. Then she counted down after Robin started. Robin read a story about how Texas is looking to raise the legal smoking age 21. Howard said he's still shocked when he sees a young kid smoking. Robin said she sees a lot of Hollywood people smoking. Robin said you'd think that their looks are important but then she sees them smoking. Howard said when he sees a young person smoking he introduces them to Scott the Engineer.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for helping him get through the winter months. He said he suffers from depression. He said he lost his parents a couple of years ago. Howard asked if he walks around sad. The caller said some things do trigger him. Howard asked if he wants to kill himself. The caller said it's not that bad. Howard said he thinks he suffers from the same thing. The caller, Pablo, said that Howard helps him get through all of that.
Tanner Mom told Howard that he has a caller on the line who says he's depressed. Howard said he took his call already. Howard asked Tanner Mom who she would have sex with on the show. She said she's a lady and she'd never talk about that. Then she said Sal, Ronnie, Lemet and Shuli. Howard laughed.
Robin said that George Bush Sr. is in the hospital with shortness of breath. Robin said he's 92 years old and he may be released soon.
Robin read a story about a study that was done about environmental regulations. Robin also read about people who don't believe that global warming is real. Howard said he'd like to know who these nutsos are who don't believe it. Tanner Mom asked if he just called her.
Robin read a story about a woman who said that they need guns in schools because of potential Grizzly's. Robin had Howard play a clip. Robin said that the teachers would have to go get the gun, right. Howard said they'd have to keep it on them. Robin said this woman is a billionaire and she looked it up and she's an heir to the Amway fortune. Robin said her husband's dad founded Amway. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Tanner Mom was yelling about something. Howard asked her how she celebrated 2017. Tanner Mom said she lost so many things in 2016. She said she hopes 2017 is better. She said it's only 6 months away.
Robin read a story about the pardons that Obama issued yesterday. Robin said that many of them are being questioned by people. Robin said there's one guy who helped leak documents to Wikileaks who will be released. Howard said he's a transgender. Robin said she didn't know that. She was looking for a man's name. It was Chelsea Manning. Robin had some audio of an attorney talking about the pardon. Robin said this person has spent 7 years in prison and will be released in May. Howard said they have to get a better picture of her.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Sirius is still trying to get Pandora and she thinks that's because of Howard. Howard said he heard it was just a rumor. He doesn't actually know. He said he doesn't have any inside info. Howard hung up on Mariann when she started to ask about Howard 360.
Robin read more about this Chelsea Manning story and had more clips of people talking about that.
Howard took a call from Chad in St. Louis who asked about the Netflix deal with Jerry Seinfeld. Robin said he's moving there with his car show. Howard said they must have rented out a lot of movies to be able to get all of these people. Howard said he just watched the Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee with Norm Macdonald. Howard said it was very funny. Robin read about the deal Jerry made. Howard said Netflix must be dealing coke on the side to afford all of these shows. Howard said they're spending so much money.
Tanner Mom said she's sensing some attitude from Robin. She asked her to come see her after the show. Robin said that won't happen.
Robin read a story about Linn Manuel Miranda being happy about this Puerto Rican guy who Obama pardoned. Howard said he must be missing something there. He said that this is confusing. He asked if he was falsely accused or something. Robin said they don't say why Miranda is so happy. Robin read more about the guy and more about Miranda and what he said when he found out the news.
Howard asked if anyone has ever been pardoned and gone out and committed another crime. Robin said it must have happened at some point.
Robin said that Bill de Blasio will be part of the protests of Donald Trump. Robin had some audio of Bill de Blasio talking about why he feels he has to do that.
Robin read a story about how the Beach Boys will be performing at the inauguration. Robin said it's unconfirmed but it may be happening. Robin asked if John Stamos will be there. Howard said he doesn't know about that.
Howard took a call from a guy, Balls, who said he enjoyed that Matthew McConaughey interview. He spent a minute talking to Howard about that. Balls also said he has been watching these videos of this girl who smashes her face into food while listening to music. He said she's called Red Face. Tanner Mom said that she used to do that. She told Fred to get ready to start Robin's news.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump talking about how he thinks there will be a very large group of people being at the inauguration. Robin had some audio of him talking about that.
Howard asked Tanner Mom if she finds Gary's job hard. She said that she just booked Brad Pitt. She wondered if Gary knows he's married to a lesbian who likes the Pittsburgh Pirates. Howard said that's a picture of Jon Hein. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read more about Donald Trump and his inauguration. Robin had more audio of Trump talking about his speech and what he will be doing first. He also said that he will keep his Twitter account and not use the POTUS account. Robin mentioned that he'll be using 2 bibles when he takes the oath. Howard mentioned that he has a bible that Renee Zellweger gave him. He said it's beautiful actually. He said he has it on display.
Robin read more about Donald Trump and had more audio clips of him for Howard to play. She also had some audio of a woman who is suing him saying she'll drop the case if he just admits she wasn't lying.
Robin read a story about how Obama's approval rating is up to 60 percent. Robin said he's going out with a bang. Robin said he will hold his last news conference today.
Robin said that Lady Gaga will be on the Super Bowl halftime show this year. Robin said that the NFL is refuting a rumor that she was asked not to talk politics during the show. Robin said that one of the things Gaga wants to do is perform on the roof of the stadium. Howard said he thinks they're saying she can't do that. Robin said Page Six is reporting that they are checking into if it's even possible. Howard said Sal was up there. Robin said he was up there because he can fly.
Robin read a story about the Love Connection coming back with Andy Cohen hosting. Robin said it's going to be on FOX. Robin said Chuck Wollery used to host. He would always say that he'd be back in 2 and 2. Howard said what a talent that guy was. Robin said he was so cute. She said that 2 and 2 used to turn her on.
Robin read a story about colds and sinus infections that are popular at this time of year. Robin had a doctor talking about how they start with a cold but they take time to develop. Fred kept playing a clip of Jackie sneezing.
Robin read a story about how teen depression is on the rise. Robin had some audio of a woman from a clinic talking about how teens don't reach out for help. Howard said she talks too fast. Robin said there was some vocal fry there too. Fred played a frog sound clip during that clip.
Robin read a story about Sting and Chris Cornell performing together. Robin said they performed at an event on Saturday night. Robin said Brad Pitt introduced them and they did Police and Sound Garden songs. Robin had some audio of Brad Pitt introducing them and then a clip of Chris Cornell performing. Fred played some audio of Robin singing too. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Here's what they played on today's replay show:
Today's show was over around 10:55am.
Here's what they played on today's replay show:
Today's show was over around 10:55am.