Today's show was over around 10:55am.
Howard and the guys were back from their 2 week vacation this morning. Howard started the show talking about how they're back live. He said they were gone for like a year and now they're back. Robin said someone asked if they had this week off. Howard said they should have. He said giving him 2 weeks off is a bad idea. He said he's in the mode of wanting to be done with this. Robin said she wondered how they got up at this time of morning. Howard said he thought about that too. He said he was wondering if he remembered how to do this.
Howard said he thought he might have to do this the rest of his life but that thought quickly left his mind. He said he likes not getting up early.
Howard said so many things happened over that 2 weeks. Robin said it was ridiculous how much happened. Howard said it was like 4 days of funeral for Aretha Franklin and 3 for Senator McCain. He asked what Robin thinks is the craziest thing Aretha's. He said that he thought it was crazy she had 4 outfit changes. He said maybe that's a southern tradition or something. Robin said she's from Detroit. Howard said she arranged to be changed on all 4 days of her tour to be in different clothes. He said it seems to be very odd to him. He said when you plan your funeral it's odd to think about that. Robin said she thought it was kind of funny. Howard said the NY Times was giving a full report about that.
Howard said she really wanted to get use of her clothing. He said she was finally thin after being fat for years. He said she was getting those clothes used. Howard said Jesse Jackson was unintelligible to him. He said that he knew he was mumbled mouthed but it's worse than ever. He said he thought he was great but at one point he went into a 5 minute commercial for the funeral home. He said he was saying that she was looking pretty bad in the final days but the funeral home did an amazing job. Howard said it has to be hard to dress a dead person so someone wondered if they just cut off her head and put it on different bodies.
Howard said the McCain funeral was like 3 days. He said Bill Clinton lost his timbre. He said that there was a picture of him checking out Ariana Grande. He said they were making a big deal out of that. Robin said they were saying that her dress wasn't appropriate for a funeral. Howard said Louis Farrakhan was also there. He said that he wasn't looking at Ariana. Howard said Bill was just looking at her. Robin said that the minister grabbed her too and that was a big controversy. Howard said there are guys who grab women around the waist and this guy grabbed her and touched her breast. Howard said if he was Pete Davidson he would have beaten the shit out of that guy. Howard said this guy had a handful of her titty.
Howard said he thinks that Aretha got more coverage than McCain. He said she had better entertainment. Robin asked if he knows how long the funeral was. Howard said it had to be like 7. Robin said it was 6 hours. She said imagine being locked in a church for all that time. Howard did his Bill Clinton impression talking about Ariana. Robin said that Stevie Wonder was delayed by 2 hours because there were so many people speaking there. Howard did more of his Clinton voice talking about that ass on Ariana. Robin said Pete was there too. She said she saw a picture of him and her and President Clinton. Howard said he's not leaving her. He said she has got to put that pony tail up before she takes a dump. He said it's like a horse's tail. Howard did his Clinton voice talking about seeing Ariana and not knowing she was a singer. He said if he had known strippers were going to be there he would have jerked off before the funeral. He had him talking about how he thought he was getting a lap dance and he had seepage from his penis. He went on with that impression for a couple of minutes talking about the seeping penis and stuff like that.
Robin wondered who put the roster of stars together there. Howard said he doesn't know. He was still in the Clinton voice talking about how hot Ariana was. He said he almost threw his stained underwear in with Aretha. He said that he was confused at the funeral because he was so sad and so hard at the same time. He said he was rock hard like he hasn't been in years. Howard said he had so many cum stains it looked like the virgin Mary in his pants. He said his face when Ariana was up there was classic. He said he couldn't disguise his feeling. He said he looked at Hillary to get rid of his boner. Howard had Clinton talking about how he asked to sniff Pete Davidson's finger and he let him do it. Howard said that was the best part of the funeral. He said he saw that.
Robin said last weekend they had a full page ad about Aretha and John McCain. Howard said he was glad he got to meet McCain 2 summers ago. He said that he was at someone's house and they had a big fund raiser going for The Apollo. He said that they had a lot of people at the party. He said Senator John McCain was there so he went up to him and said he had never met a real life hero. Robin said she's there every day. Howard said she is a hero to him. Howard said he got to shake McCain's hand. He said he was kind of tongue tied. Robin said he was locked in that cage for 5 years. Howard said he can't stop talking about growing up in a black neighborhood. He said you would have thought he was locked in a tiger cage. Howard said McCain would just say he did his service. Howard said that guy is way more male than he is.
Howard said that the Vietnamese told him to go home and he said no because he wanted all of his men released. He said McCain survived his plane crash and had a broken leg and a broken arm or two. He said then they find him and start beating him with sticks. He said he was the enemy so of course they beat him. He said they stabbed him and he still survives. He said they bring him back and patch him up. He said they keep him in the tiger cage. He said he was stabbed in the groin with a bayonet. He said he turns down the offer to go home until they release the rest of his men.
Robin said he fell in love with the country when he was in that tiger cage. Robin said it was an ideal and it was this feeling that you could think about and it was amazing that this country is the way it is. She said it made him fall in love with it.
Howard said the doctor that operated on his arm didn't use anesthesia. He said that he didn't get Novocaine when he was a kid and he can't get over that. Howard said McCain inflated his life vest with his teeth. He said they took him prisoner and took him to this place they called the Hanoi Hilton. He said they tried to pressure him to give up the names of the guys in his squadron. He said he gave the names of the Green Bay Packers. He said this guy was a real man. He said he was able to do that under all that pressure. Howard said he'd have to give the names of the guys on the Bachelor in Paradise.
Howard said he was shocked that Trump went all in and didn't lower the flag and all of that. He said he was like ''fuck you.'' Robin said it was Sarah Huckabee Sanders who made them put it at half staff. Howard said she can get anyone to do anything. He said she's like a bulldozer. Gary said the guy who was McCain's jailor said nicer things about him than Trump did. Gary told Howard some of the things he did say and he said he was very fond of him. Gary said that's the guy who was his captor.
Howard did his Vietnamese voice which sounded like every voice he does. He said he's not trying to sound racist. He did more of the voice of McCain's captor who was talking about what he did to him while he was captured. Howard had the guy talking about how tough McCain was. Howard said he sounds like a Jackie Chan movie.
Howard said that guy was one tough dude. He said he did break when they shoved something up his pee hole though. Howard said he would give up his fellow squadron after an hour or so. He said he'd just give up and give out the names. Robin said when she was in the service she was shown a video of the new weapons they had and she refused to watch it because that's the kind of information they torture you for.
Howard said he would just offer up the information. He said he'd skip all of the bullshit and just give up the info. He said he'd give the list of fellow squadron guys. He said he'd lay there and then say he's with North Korea and ''Down with America.'' He said he'd go back to the United States and be a spy for them. He said they'd have him on TV talking about how we suck. Howard said he would have kept a list of his squadron members in his pocket. He said he wouldn't have done well in war. He said he's too tall for it.
Howard said he has John McCain on the phone. He took the call from fake John McCain who was talking about what the afterlife is like and how he had just butt fucked Aretha Franklin. He said she showed him a little ''R E S P E C T.'' Robin asked if they're in the same section up there. McCain said that they are. Howard said it's so childish to think that your pets and things are up there. Fake McCain was joking about Robin and how squirt is pee. He said he loved Crazy Rich Asians but he had a flashback an tried to kill a bunch of people in the middle of it.
Howard said he'd like to think that when you're in heaven that your arms and legs are fine. McCain had a few more jokes about Robin and how he wanted her to torture his penis. He said he'll never tell her what she wants to know. Howard said he gets the impression he's having a great time up there. McCain said he is. He sang some ''Respect'' songs about Robin. Howard let McCain go a short time later.
Howard said that was for anyone who missed the senator. He said Meghan McCain was on the show a while back. He said she was explaining about how her dad wasn't able to lift his arms over his head. Howard played a clip of her talking about that. Howard said the biggest blunder he ever made was getting Sarah Palin to be his running mate. Robin said that was probably someone else's idea. Howard said he was probably told that she was good. He said that she wasn't even invited to the funeral.
Howard played a clip of Palin being asked about what magazines and newspapers that she read before this event and she thought that was a ''gotcha'' question. Howard said she didn't remember the name of even one. He said she may have never read a paper. Robin said she read whatever was put in front of her. She didn't seek them out.
Howard said Meghan said that her father didn't think that she cost him the election. Howard said McCain had glioblastoma brain cancer. He had a clip of McCain talking about how much he loved his life back in 2016. Howard played that clip and said he wishes he could be that positive in his life. Robin said that you discover who you are when someone tortures you until you break.
Howard said he can say that he has failed every test that has come up showing him how to be a man. He said he'd fail at being a woman too. He said he really has to take a break. He said he has a busy show today. He said he wants to review what went on while they were away. He said so much more happened.
Howard said JD got married. He said he has to talk about that. Robin said JD has a wedding hair cut. Howard said JD's wedding ring is too big but it got stuck on his finger. He said that he wants to get it smaller but it's stuck. He said when his finger relaxes the ring falls off. Robin asked if he's plastic man. Howard said his fingers are like sausages. He said they'll talk about that after a break.
Howard took a call and asked the guy if he heard the phony phone-a-thon. The caller said he did. Howard said he was driving around and listening. He said he tried to call Robin and she wasn't answering so he tuned into Howard 101. He said that they have a breathtaking amount of phony phone calls. The caller said he was looking forward to that more than his day off of work. Howard said Sal and Richard had so many calls they played. The caller said they had 4 hours of calls. Robin said she remembers seeing Richard come in with visible sweat stains on his shirt. Howard said they are idiot savants. He said he loves phony phone calls. He said they have 2 and a half more years there and they'll continue making phony phone calls.
Howard said he's going to play a new phony phone call. He said Steve Brandano was in there talking about how cool Largo is out in Los Angeles. He said that someone called in that day and talked about how cool that place really is. Howard played a clip of Steve talking about the place and then he takes the call from Chris Wilding who was doing the voice of this person from Largo talking about how amazing the place is.
Howard said that character made a phony phone call to the Kathy radio show. Howard said this is a phony phone call where Rocky Pendergast calls Kathy. Howard played the call and Rocky talks to Kathy about his club and how amazing it is. He said it's on a cruise ship and it's better than Largo. He dropped some names and threw in Steve Brandano as one of them. The ship ends up sinking with Rocky drowning his way out of the call. Kathy let out a sigh and said they'll pray for him. They went to break after that.
Howard said they have so much to talk about. He said they were away for two weeks so he has so many notes. He said he has obsessive thoughts. He said that he thinks about the old Sonny and Cher show and how hot Cher was. He said that there was no internet and nothing to beat off to back then. He said this Cher was so magnificent looking. He said she would come out in different outfits and it showcased her rock hard six pack. He said she showed her titties but not those big, gross titties. Robin said thanks for that. She said she must have gross tits. Howard said that Cher wasn't the most perfect but she looked good. He said it all worked. Robin said her teeth were a mess but that didn't even detract from her look.
Howard said he wanted to be alone with Cher but he had to watch with his parents. He said his parents had a TV with a remote in their bedroom. He said no one had that. He said he wanted to go watch in their bed. He said his mom would make him watch TV with the family. He said she wanted them to be together even if they weren't talking. He said his sister was 4 years older than him so they didn't watch the same shit. He said this was before cam girls and all of that.
Howard said his father would be looking at her too. He said his mom didn't have a body like that. He had his mom telling his dad not to touch himself.
Howard said he had a thing for Cher. He said he wasn't able to stop thinking about it over vacation. He said this was when rock and roll was cool. He said Cher was singing with Tom Jones or Sonny. He said it wasn't cool music. He said then she married that guy from the Allman Brothers. He said it was like going to scores seeing her changing outfits. He said she would do songs with different people on the show. He said she'd put on different outfits for conservatives. Robin said she'd cover up to her neck at times.
Howard said Cher would thank Bob Mackie for the outfits. He said he had no idea who he was but he was thankful for the guy. He said one time she came out dressed like a naked Indian. He said that she was wearing a headband and a moccasins. He said it was all skins. Howard said Native Americans were probably offended by that. Fred had a song where Cher was singing the song Howard was talking about. He said she would sing that dressed like an Indian.
Howard said he was thinking about this over vacation. He said she was into dating Richie Sambora and got her ass tattooed. He said that she'd wear leather outfits and show her ass. Robin said she showed up to the Academy Awards naked. Howard said he used to beat off to her all the time. He said he's not sure why but he was obsessing about it over vacation. Robin asked if he was watching her on Google or something. Howard said no but he's going to. He said he's not sure about this Bob Mackie but he thinks he should write him a thank you letter. He made up what he could write to him about the Cher outfits. He apologized for the jizz stains on the letter.
Howard said he loved Cher. He said no one looked like that. Robin said she was a star. Howard said that's what he did on his vacation. Robin asked if he knows how old she is now. Howard said don't tell him. He said he's back in the day. He said they have a good friend who dated her for a while. Howard said way to go to that person.
Howard said he was listening to a Foo Fighters song that he had missed somehow. He said it was ''Times Like These.'' He said he loved the song. He said he worked out to this. He played some of the song. Robin asked how he missed that one. Howard said he's not sure. He wondered where he was.
Howard said these guys are so good. He said he appreciates them. He said just listen to this song. He let it play for a bit. He said he likes when Dave Grohl doesn't yell. He said he worries about that guy's voice. He said he has a beautiful voice. He said this is a beautiful song. He said he gets sad hearing this song. Robin said it doesn't make her sad.
Howard said this song was performed on their show in 2002. Robin said she thought they did it on this show. Howard said he doesn't remember anything.
Howard said he has to mention the charitable gracious David Spade. He said Beth put together an event that he had nothing to do with. He said David offered to help Beth raise some money about a year ago. He said he pulled her aside and told her not to listen to him because he doesn't mean it. Howard said he doesn't ask anyone to do anything. Robin said if someone offers to do something then do it. Howard said Beth wants to help animals and when she heard David say this she got excited. Howard said he didn't want to owe David any favors. He said he's had people offer before and he calls asking if they wanted to do something and they got mad.
Howard said he didn't want David to get upset with them. He said Beth put this thing together without him even knowing about it. He said David kept telling Beth he was willing to do this thing. He said Beth had this thing at Steven's Talk House. He said that David went and donated his time. He said this singer showed up and got in on it. He said he opened up for David. He said this guy was terrific too. He said he sings really well. He said David was great too. He said he was so moved. He said he told Beth not to do this but then David said he would do it every year for her. Howard said he told her not to listen to him. He said please no more fund raiser. Howard said David has had enough.
Howard said Charlotte Lawrence performed there too. He said Bill Lawrence is the guy who wrote a bunch of shows like Spin City. He said Christa Miller is his wife. He said that she's a great actress. Howard said they have a daughter who sings and she performed there. Howard said this kid has a carer for real. He said she got a standing ovation at the show. He said she did this song called ''Sleep Talk.'' He played some of that for Robin to hear. Robin said it's terrific. Howard said she's like 18 years old. He said this kid is good.
Howard said he asked John Bon Jovi if she can really sing and he said she can. Robin said she's jealous.
Howard said he has to thank David Spade and Josh Raiden for this thing. He said that Spade is so good on stage. He said it was very nice of these people to show up. Howard said he was so nervous because he had nothing to with setting it up. He said it seemed to go very well without his involvement. He said he didn't want to be blamed if something did go wrong. He said he's not sure how she stays married to him. He said even a nice thing like that he'd find a problem with.
Howard said John Lennon's killer was denied parole again for the 10th time. He said every once in a while you read about how maybe he should be released. Robin said they say he was an exemplary prisoner. Howard said just leave him here. He said he's locked in a cage. He said of course he is. He asked what trouble he's going to get in there. Howard said Yoko has to be tortured every couple of years about that whole thing. Robin said John's kids are afraid of this guy. Howard said the guy looks like an old man now. He said if you kill a Beatle you should be executed. He said speaking of that Paul McCartney will be in tomorrow. Robin said she didn't know that. she said she doesn't look ahead.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she knew Robin didn't know that. She was screaming about how it was announced on the Wrap Up Show. She asked where Robin was. Howard said they get it. He said that Mariann did a song as a tribute for Aretha Franklin. He played that song where Mariann screeched out an Aretha Franklin song.
Howard said he was wondering when Yucko was going to call in. He said he heard he got a new TV show. He said he likes the guy so he'll let him plug it.
Howard took the call from Yucko who said they have a show on Netflix called ''Paradise PD.'' He said it's there now. Howard said this seems to be working out for him. He said that it's working better than stand up. Robin said now he's a cartoon. Howard asked what the name of it is. Yucko said it's basically Brickleberry but with cops. Howard said he's happy for him. Robin asked if it's lucrative. Yucko said he's living in a trailer out in California so sure. Howard asked if they're getting some money. Yucko said they take care of them there at Netflix. Robin said they take care of Dave Chappelle and Letterman there. Howard said he's the one guy who will turn out not to be paid. Robin said she loved when Yucko gave up the clown outfit. Howard said they were talking about all of the great things that happened at the funeral for Aretha. He said the best thing about Yucko was when he became ''Roger'' and stopped being Yucko. Howard said that was the best. He said he took off the costume and he was all sad. He said it wasn't funny at all. He said he hopped right back in that outfit. Yucko was laughing.
Howard said Jim Carrey stopped doing impressions and then he became bigger than ever. Howard said Yucko wanted to do that. He said he took off that costume and he became Roger. He said he bared his soul. He said 3 weeks later he was back in that costume. Yucko said he didn't get out of the studio before putting it back on. Howard said it's like KISS taking off their makeup. He said you didn't know what they looked like and then one day they took off their makeup. He said they thought people would come see them. He said 3 people showed up to see them. They went back to the makeup.
Howard said Roger is such a dud that he goes to the writing meetings as Yucko. Yucko said he's there with his bike horn now. Howard asked if he went up on stage as Roger and knew it wasn't working. Yucko said it was a good half hour before it sunk in. He said he said fuck this, I'll do cartoons. Howard said Brickleberry was a hit and now they have Paradise PD. He said please watch that and get Yucko some money. Robin said get him a house without wheels.
Howard said Roger loves blacks and Jews unlike Yucko. Yucko said he wanted to say congrats to JD on his wedding. Howard said JD is married longer than Yucko was. Howard asked if he's getting laid at all. Yucko said he moved to L.A. and gained weight. Howard said both Roger and Yucko gained weight. Howard asked if he has any girls interested in him at all. Yucko said he's not sure. He said he just wants to get the show going for 3 years and make some money. Yucko started yelling about how he has nothing.
Howard asked when he last had sex with a woman. Yucko said it was a few months ago. Howard asked if they were professional gals. Yucko said he's making enough to pay for them. Howard said he's sorry.
Howard said he saw the trailer for the new cartoon and it looked funny. Howard said he thinks Yucko wanted to goof on JD about his marriage but Yucko's wife left him. Robin asked what happened where she left him 2 weeks later. Howard said he took off the clown outfit. Howard said he
Howard took a call from Balls who said that the show is really funny. He said Yucko came on his show the other day and told a disgusting story about his outfit. Howard asked what show he has. Balls said he has one on the Gonzo network. Howard said he has a show like he has a radio show. Yucko said you know you've made it when you're on a show talking to someone in bumble fuck Pennsylvania.
Howard said he should just yell out his trailer window and he'd reach more people than on that podcast. Howard said Jeff the Drunk's periscope was looking for him. Yucko said he's doing Gary the Conqueror's show. Howard said Gary does a show on Facebook and he watches that. He said he just yells out people's names on his show. He said he does have a show though. He said he has a camera and the whole thing.
Howard said Yucko has this new show and people are calling in talking about how great it is. Yucko thanked Howard for the years of plugs. He said it's even more plugs than are on Sal's head. Howard said he's going to take a break and get to Sharon Osbourne. He said she's on The Talk and he has to talk to her about that. He said she has no filter and she'll talk about anything.
Howard came back and said he has Sharon Osbourne there. He said she's the co-host of The Talk. He said she's looking really good. He said he can't believe that Ozzy is 70 this year. Sharon said this is his 50th year of touring. Howard said he blames her for pushing him out on tour. Sharon said that he loves it. She said that's what he does. Howard said he had a farewell tour already. He said this one is the No More Tours II tour. Howard said they think they're done but then they go out again. Sharon said they come home and wonder why they're home because they want to be on the road. Sharon said Ozzy isn't so complainy these days. She said he's embracing the whole thing.
Howard said he can't imagine doing a whole rock show every night. Sharon said she wonders how he does things at times. She said that he gets wound up by the crowd.
Howard said he hasn't seen her since 2015. He said things have to be wild over there. He said they have Sara Gilbert on the show and she was involved in the whole Roseanne thing. Sharon said Sara never says a word about anything. Howard said that the show is called The Talk so they should be talking about that. Howard said that she should ask her what's going on with Roseanne. Sharon said that she can't say anything about that. She said she's not allowed to. She said they're on ABC. Howard said fuck ABC and just go. He said that they know how to do it. Howard said Sharon is crazy in the best way. Sharon said they would die if she did that on CBS. Howard said it would be the greatest. He asked if Sara tells her stuff off the air. Sharon said she never says a bloody word. She said she's like a fucking vault. Howard said they have to throw her off the show then.
Howard said then they have Julie and Les. Howard said Julie should just let it rip. Howard asked what's going on in that house. Sharon said she has no idea. She said she knows fuck all about anything. Howard said Julie looks like she has PTSD. He said it must be wild over there. Sharon said Julie gets so much shit over it. She said she's the face of it all.
Howard said Sharon was treated like shit by NBC so she left America's Got Talent. Sharon said she called them cunts and assholes and left. She said they were happy she went. Howard said he signed up to do the show with her an then she was gone. He said they had a great time and then she was gone. Sharon said they had a great time. She said she'd ask Howard if he would fuck all of these girls that were on the show. Howard said she would. He said he told her to get her mind out of the gutter.
Sharon said she would ask Howard if he went down on a woman with grey hair if he could do it. Howard would tell her no way. Howard said he thought she was pissed at Simon Cowell but now she's working on his show over in England. Sharon said Simon had nothing to do with that. She said she's been doing X-Factor on and off for 15 years. She said she doesn't need those kids singing her face so she doesn't have to do that stuff. Howard said they don't let her say what she wants. Sharon said it's the end of her contract so she's going all out.
Howard said he wants to talk about The Talk. He said she and Ozzy had a problem and she talked about it all on the show. He said she had real tears. He said that's why the show is great. He said Julie has to talk. Sharon said it's different. She said these people who run the industry are watching. She said Les is like a god. Howard said Les sued him too. He said he can't talk about what happened there but he's smiling. Howard said he loves Julie too. He said she's in a weird position. He said he wishes she'd go on air and talk about what's going on at home. Sharon said she loves her husband. Howard said it kind of proves a point in a weird way. He said she got all of these shows on CBS. He said she is good at it but he'd love to know what's going on with those two. Howard said he wants her to come clean like Sharon did with Ozzy. Howard said he's going to come on the show and get everyone going. Sharon said she'd love to have him on. Howard said they won't let him on now. Sharon said he's probably right. She said that CBS is squeaky clean and nice. Howard laughed and said ''sure it is.''
Howard said Sharon must have so many secrets. Sharon said she knows nothing. She said she's a grain of sand in the big picture.
Howard said he heard that Sharon and Ozzy's fight was about promotion for their tour. Sharon said that this tour manager is the one who said that. She said the name of the guy and told Howard that they went to court over it. She said that they hadn't seen this guy in a hundred years so he doesn't know anything. Howard said that he loved that Ozzy went to rehab and Betty Ford. He said he went there to learn to drink responsibility. He said Ozzy said he thinks he met Betty Ford there. Sharon said one time it was Elizabeth Taylor that he thought was Betty.
Howard asked how Ozzy got back in her good graces. She said that he got sober and said he was going to stay sober. Howard asked how long they have been married. Sharon said it's been 36 years but they've known each other for 42.
Howard asked if they were trying to bring back The Osbournes. Sharon said they never work it out. She said they can't afford them. She said they don't want to do it for peanuts. Howard said at MTV they paid them well. He said that they owned the show too.
Howard said their oldest daughter Amy left home when they started filming. Howard said she's his hero. He said that she didn't want to be on TV and didn't want to be famous. Sharon said she just wants to be left alone. She said she wants none of what this life is. Howard said she's the only sane one in the family. Sharon said that while the kids were doing their thing on the TV show Amy was doing her own thing. She said she's in L.A. and she has a great relationship with her. She said that she was 18 when she left home. Howard said she was done with them at the time. Howard asked if she was upset that her daughter wasn't there. Sharon said of course. Sharon said it was like The Munsters with Marilyn. She said that's Amy.
Howard said the other kids are okay. Sharon said they are. She said that Jack is no longer married. She said she's sad about that. She said that his ex is a good girl. She said it just didn't work. She said they love each other but they can't live with each other. She said she gets to see the grandkids and they are such a joy. she said Ozzy asked if the girls can come out on the road but they can't. Sharon said that they don't go out a lot. She said they just hang.
Howard asked if they ever go to Julie's house. Sharon said she has a friendship with Julie but they don't know Les. Howard asked if she has ever had a MeToo moment. Sharon said she never has. She said she worked with Harvey Weinstein and never had one. She said that they used to work with him and she never had a MeToo moment. She said the only thing she ever saw with Harvey was his dandruff. Howard asked if she was shocked by the news about him. Sharon said it doesn't surprise him. She said it's the power these guys have. Howard said she never did anything like that with her power. Sharon said that's just not her thing. Howard said she has to talk about this with Julie. Sharon said that Les is a powerful guy.
Howard asked if they had to have an emergency meeting when the Roseanne thing came up. Sharon said not at all. She said that was for Sara to talk about. She said that she has no empire to lose on that show so she can talk about it. She said that it's different for Les and Julie. Howard asked where the she was when the news broke about Les. Sharon said she was home. Howard said they read the news and then what. Sharon said that she called Julie to tell her she was thinking about her. She said she had nothing to hide. She said she knew nothing about it. She said that Les said it was 25 years ago that he tried to kiss someone. She said he's too good at his job so he won't lose that job. Howard said that's not what he's hearing. He said he's just making that up actually.
Howard asked Sharon if her two daughters needed a babysitter would she let Les baby sit. Sharon said of course. She said that they would drive him nuts. Howard asked if the show will survive this. Sharon said that it's going to be fine. Howard said he has to come on the show and get this all out of them. Sharon said that no one is even talking about Les. Howard said he's talking about it because Les tried to sue him.
Sharon said he has dinner with him all the time. Howard said he does. He said that Les didn't like the radio division. He said he wasn't into it. He said the few times he met him he was very nice to him but then he laid the big lawsuit on him. He said when he did that he went to Les and talked to him man to man. He said that when CBS sues you they have endless lawyers and all of that. He said it was Les and Joel Hollander. He said he cried like a baby talking to Les. He said he did nothing to hurt the company. He said Les asked Joel what he knew about this. He said that's when Les said they weren't going to let it go. Howard said he cried because he was scared. He said he got his composure and said it was game on. He said he was going to fuck him up so bad. He said he went on Letterman that night and had t-shirts to fuck with him. He said he had 3 stages to get back at him. He said that's all he'll say about that. He said he doesn't hate the guy though.
Sharon said that Les has always been courteous to her. She said she's just a peeon over there at CBS so she doesn't deal with him. Howard said he could do such a show with Sharon. He said she must have so many secrets. Sharon said she knows nothing. She said it's really not their business.
Howard said he wants to know why Julie isn't there. Sharon said that she's busy with Big Brother or something today. Howard said she has to come in there. Sharon said she's very busy. Howard said they used to come in together. Sharon said Julie is going to be fine. Howard said has to know something. Sharon said she knows nothing.
Howard asked why she doesn't like Ashton Kutcher. Sharon said that to her he's arrogant. Howard said she's never been able to get his name right. She said he sat down and asked what she's ever done to contribute to this industry. She told him to back off and he did. Howard said this is some woman. He said this is why he enjoyed doing America's Got Talent with her. He said she gave it glamour too. Sharon asked what he thinks of the show now. Howard said he doesn't watch it. He said that fucking asshole Simon Cowell fucked his friend's wife. Howard said say something about that. Sharon said all she knows is that they met in Barbados. She said things happen in life. Howard said you don't fuck your friend's wife. Howard said that's why he never fucked Sharon behind Ozzy's back.
Howard asked Sharon how she stays so thin. Sharon said she throws up. Howard said he should do that. Howard asked if she is vaping or anything like that. Sharon said never. She said she has never done marijuana. She said that's nasty. She said it's just not her thing. She said Ozzy isn't doing anything now. She said he has people around him who watch him. Howard said that's a rock star. He said he has people around him to keep him from drinking.
Howard said Simon Cowell was writing to the guy at Sony about getting rid of him on America's Got Talent and he'd replace him. Sharon said he loves being on TV. Howard said he loves it when Sharon is at his side instead.
Howard said if he's on a boat with Simon and Sharon would she save him. Sharon said they'd put a brick around Simon's neck. She said she'd save Howard over Les too. She said that he's her friend. She said she's going to get fired for this. Howard said stop it. He said he just wants to know her plan in life. He said he's curious about her.
Sharon said that she has to go back and see Simon again too. She said that he has new people on the show. She said they have Robbie Williams and his wife on with her. She said that Robbie's wife was in a soap opera there. She said they're the judges on X-Factor. She said they have a kid from One Direction too. She said they have a clause in her contract about how he's paying $10 million to Robbie and his wife and she asked where her 10 million is. She said that she has to get that if that's what they're paying them. Howard said he heard she's getting a million. Sharon said no way she'd do it for a million. She said they have to pay her what she's worth.
Howard asked if she can believe how big a star she's become. Howard said she used to be a manager. He said people love her. Howard said she must think about what's going on with Julie and Les. Sharon told him to stop it. She said she really doesn't know what's going on there. She said Ozzy doesn't even know Les. She said he wouldn't know him if he sat next to him.
Howard asked if she's ever had a MeToo moment. Sharon said she never has. Howard asked how long she would wait to date another man if Ozzy died. Sharon said she would never date ever again. Howard said it could happen. Sharon said she doesn't care and she wouldn't date. Howard said he knows some guys who are really into her. Sharon said he is full of shit. Howard said he knows guys who think she's the bomb. Sharon said she wouldn't care if they had a two foot dick. She said she just doesn't care.
Howard asked if Ozzy can still get the job done. Sharon said he can and he's still over sexed. She said she loves Ozzy. Howard said this is fascinating. He asked what he's left out. Sharon asked if she can have a job there if she loses it over there at The Talk. Howard said he'd have her on the show every day.
Sharon said she wants to talk about Ozzy's new tour. She said there's something going on with Live Nation and AEG. She said AEG own this Staples Center and Live Nation own The Forum. She said Ozzy loves the Forum because it's a great place to play. She said this other place is dead for him. She said over in England AEG owns this place they play. She said they hate that they prefer The Forum. She said they are suing AEG because they were trying to force him to play their place in L.A. if he wanted to play this other place in England. She said they have to sue because they can't tell them where he has to play. Howard asked how many lawsuits they have going on. Sharon said they have another schmuck who is doing the ''Ozzy Fest'' and they have to sue him too. She said that Steve Jobs' wife is involved so they have a lot of money. She said that they should just fuck off. She said that they have to sue that guy. She said there are people out there who think they can take advantage of people and step all over them. She said she's not going to deal with that.
Howard asked if Julie has ever been wrong about anything. Sharon said sure but she didn't have an example. Howard asked if they're done with Black Sabbath. Sharon said they are and Ozzy is just doing it himself and not giving the money to those guys.
Howard took a call from fake Simon Cowell. Sharon said that's not Simon when he picked up. Howard had fake Simon cursing him out. Howard asked if he's Simon Cowell. He said yes but Sharon kept telling him that's not the real Simon.
Howard gave Sharon some plugs for The Talk and for the new Ozzy tour. Howard said she must know something about Les and Julie. Sharon said she knows nothing. Howard said she must be hiding something. Sharon insisted that she knows nothing.
Howard gave her more plugs started to wrap up with Sharon again. Howard said there's obviously a lot of controversy that will come out. Sharon said that he should have gotten that late night show. Colbert or Corden's. Howard said that would be a step down for him. He said he has good gig there. He said he was going to go head to head with Johnny Carson. He had talks with FOX to do that. He said they were going to hire him to do that. He said he was going to have a 9 week contract. He said fuck them. He said he has that kind of power. Sharon said she'd say that to Rupert Murdoch too. She said he's married to Jerri Hall. Howard said he didn't know that. Howard asked if she could ever suck Rupert's dick. Sharon made some vomiting sounds. Howard said imagine those grey pubes in her mouth. She said she never blew anyone to get anywhere.
Howard asked if they renewed their wedding vows. Sharon said they did. She said Ozzy wrote his own vows too. She said they did it in Vegas but it was just her and Ozzy. She said they did it at the Wynn hotel. She said they had a lovely lady there to do the ceremony. She said she was a preacher. She said they didn't want everyone there so they did it alone. She said it was lovely.
Howard said Ozzy must need a reminder to behave. Sharon said he knows. Howard said she must have read him the riot act first. Sharon said a few left hooks did it. Howard asked if they had a wedding night. Sharon said of course. She said she had a nice grey wedding gown. She said they sucked, fucked and whatever that night. Howard asked what else she did. She asked what Howard does. Howard asked if there was anal on the wedding night. Sharon said there's always anal. Howard said that's fabulous. He said he thinks she's the greatest. Robin asked if she had any wedding vows. Howard said he should be happy she showed up for that wedding. Sharon said she got the greatest man. She said he is such a good guy. Howard said he's such a talent.
Howard reviewed the kind of sex they had that night. He said she must have had it removed at some point that night. Howard said they have to talk about Julie and Les on the show. Sharon said she already made a statement and she is a very proud woman so she will not talk. Howard said he'll come on and get her going. Sharon said he'll get in that sexy voice of his. Howard said he'll do this and went into that voice talking about what he'd get her to talk about.
Howard said Sharon talked about how she never had a MeToo moment in her life. He said she's said it all today. He said that she's glamorous and she does it all. He said they'll watch her and see what happens. He said he has to come on and talk to Sara Gilbert about Roseanne. He said he'll talk to Julie about Les too. Howard asked how soon she can book him. Sharon said she's a peeon so she can't get anyone booked on the show. Howard jokingly said he burned her house down once (accidentally with a gift candle) and he'll do it again. He went to break after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Sharon Osbourne is an amazing woman. He said to come in after a labor day weekend was great and he loves her to death. Howard said he loved Ozzy but that woman is great on radio. He said he's glad the world realized that. The caller said he sent a tape in and he was hoping to succeed and he got a letter back from them saying they weren't looking for musicians. Howard said ''Who cares'' and hung up. He said that wasn't a good story. He got a form letter back rejecting him. He said he thought he was going to say he got invited to play or something.
Howard said so many things happened while they were away. He said an old friend of the show passed away. He said Robin Leach passed away. He said he was the host of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. He did an impression of Leach. He said he loved that guy. He said he was on the show many times. He said he was 76 years old. He said he was on the show 18 times. He said he was one of the happiest guys he ever met. Robin said he never got married. Howard said he did when he was very young in life but then he said he would never marry again. He said he had a lot of good looking girlfriends over the years.
Howard said he went to Jumby Bay and he was there with his wife. He said they ran into Robin Leach who invited them over for some champagne. He said they walked in his house and it was dark and there were two fucking blondes running around in bikinis. He said the girls were giggling and having fun and he was like ''You motherfucker...'' He said that he wore those bikini bottoms like a banana hammock. He said he was angry that this guy was having such a good time. He said he had to get out of that house. He said his head was going to explode.
Howard said he was way more famous than that guy. Robin said he was. She said he was more talented too. Howard said he thinks so.
Howard said Robin was on the show in 2001 and he was 59 at the time. He said he was telling them about how he likes to date younger women. He said he predicted that he would die at 76 and he was right. He played a clip of Leach talking about dating younger women and how he dated a 52 year old. He said we're here on the planet for 76 short years. Howard said he predicted the age of his own death.
Howard said Robin Leach gave his Robin a hard time about her last name. Howard played a clip of that conversation too. Leach said that Quivers is a sexual thing.
Howard said Robin Leach owned part of the Food Network. He said that they talked to him a lot about women. Robin said he was with a lot of drop dead looking women. Howard said he was 65 when he told them he had a 23 year old girlfriend. Howard played a clip of that too.
Howard said he never wanted to be tied down either. He played a clip of Leach talking about how he wants to be with every good looking woman out there until they say ''When are we getting married?'' He said he will never marry again. Robin said he stuck to it too.
Howard said he would get one hot chick hotter than the last. He said he was always able to do it. He said he was always telling him it's a man's world. He said he had a great sense of humor too. He said Leach even did a ''Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous'' parody with High Pitch Erik. Howard played some of that.
Howard said Robin had a good sense of humor. He said he wishes him champagne wishes and caviar dreams. He said that guy got a lot of pussy. Robin asked if he was in Las Vegas. Howard said yes. He said Gary used to run into him out there. He said Gary is the only one who goes anywhere.
Howard said 10 people went to the wedding out in Las Vegas. He said they had some people from JD's fiancee's side of the family. Howard said he's happy for him. He said she's a gorgeous bride too. He said it's like Robin Leach. He said JD got a really good looking woman. JD said he ''out kicked his coverage.'' Howard asked what he's talking about. JD said he's not sure. He said it's something like that.
Howard asked if anyone got JD a wedding gift. Gary said he did. He said that his fiancee is a foodie so he said he'd take them out to dinner wherever they want to go. Howard asked if that's really a gift. Gary said he offered to just give them money or go out and she picked going out. Howard said they weren't invited to the wedding so they don't have to give anything. Robin said you're helping them start off their life. Howard said he thinks he's done enough of that.
JD said Jon Hein got him something. He said he doesn't want to say how much it was. Howard said he has to match that at least. Howard asked Jon what he got him. Jon didn't want to say. Robin asked if it was a little bit or a lot. Howard said he has to give him at least 500. JD said he's not going to say. Howard said 10 dollars is too much. He wasn't at the wedding. Jon said he doesn't want to reveal it if JD doesn't want him to. JD said it's fine. Jon said he gave him $200. Howard said that seems really nice. He said he wasn't invited to the wedding.
Robin said she wants to cover the cost of having her there and then some. Howard said 200 covers it. Robin said it does when you're not invited. Jon said he thinks Ronnie did the same. He said he and Ronnie discussed it.
Howard said he'll probably forget to give him something. JD said whatever happens, happens. Howard said they have a picture of JD and his wife on HowardStern.com. He said it's stunning. He said JD has some brown shoes on. He said it looks like boots. Robin said they should have seen that before the wedding.
Howard asked JD about kids. JD said that they're not going to have kids. He said that she's nagging to have a dog. He said no kids though. He said he doesn't want a dog either. He said a smaller dog would be nice but he doesn't want to take care of one. He said he doesn't want that right now.
Howard took a call from a guy who congratulated JD on his marriage. JD thanked him. The caller said none of them should give him a gift. He said they weren't invited. Howard said he would rather give a gift to someone who doesn't invite him. He said being invited is bad. He said he hates going to weddings.
Howard said JD does everything wrong. JD thanked him for that. Howard said JD got a facial before the wedding. He said he had a panic attack and thought the hot towels were choking him. JD said they were on his face a long time and then she pushed them on his neck. Howard said the only time he breaks out is when he gets a facial. JD said he got a shave and then they do the facial. Howard asked if the squeeze all of your zits. JD said no but they rub their hands on your face. Howard said he'd never do that. He said he got one once and he got tons of zits from it. Robin said she loves to have a facial. JD laughed at that line. He said he hopes they got that as a drop.
Howard said JD had a woman proposition him out there and he walked right by. JD said that she was really attractive. He said she was probably too expensive for him... if he was younger and doing that sort of thing.
Howard said JD started crying at the wedding. JD said he almost did during his vows. He said his dad is a big crier and he was crying along with his mom. He said he held it together and then he saw his dad crying and he broke down. Howard said he's surprised his in laws weren't crying. JD told him to cut it out.
Howard took a call from JD's fake mother in law. She was crying about them having kids some day. She said that JD is going to be there at their house every holiday. She said that her precious baby girl had so much potential. She said she has been crying since the wedding and she hasn't stopped. She then took a bunch of sleeping pills. Howard asked if JD has called her mom or her first name. JD said he calls her by her first name. Howard said he'll probably continue that. JD said he will. Fake mom said never call her mom. She said just imagine that. She asked where her vodka is. Howard said it's only 10:14 in the morning. She said she has to wash down those pills somehow. She said she's going to light herself on fire now. Then she jumped out a window and landed on a car.
Howard said JD was doing a fantasy football pick with a former porn star on the last night of the trip out there. JD said he was.
Howard said JD was shocked that he got so much free stuff out there in Vegas after getting married. Howard said that's very nice. They got a free meal out there. Howard said JD and his wife did not have sex on their wedding night. JD said they were just tired. He said they were out late. He said she wanted to go out to a club to dance but he didn't want to do that. Howard said he would kill himself. He said he's so glad his wife doesn't want to go anywhere. He said if she wanted to go out dancing he'd hate that.
Howard said he hated going to those clubs when he was single. He said he'd go out early and no one was there. He said there were a couple of girls hanging out when he'd go out at 8. JD said they had a DJ in one club that didn't start until 1:30 in the morning. Howard said he's not sure how people do that. He said you'd think if you're on vacation that you'd want to rest. Robin said people go to Vegas to go nuts.
Howard asked JD if his wife had a special outfit for him. JD said she had something on but he's not even sure what it was. Howard asked what she wore at home. JD said they didn't get dressed in anything special for bed. JD said he had boxers and a shirt. Howard said then she got into bed with what. JD said they just passed out. JD said she doesn't sleep with a lot of clothes on. JD said that it was just panties. Howard said he has a girl in his bed and he doesn't know what she wore. JD said they kissed but they didn't do anything else. JD said it was consummated soon after. He said the next morning they did something. Howard did his JD voice and told Mrs. Harmeyer over to him. He asked if he's called her that yet. JD said he just calls her ''wife.''
Howard asked if he brushed his teeth before fucking. JD said no. Howard asked if he had to pee. JD said he did during the night. Howard asked if he used a condom. JD said he didn't. Robin said he claims she has an IUD or something. Howard said there's going to be a baby. Robin said the baby will come out holding the IUD. Howard said it'll be on the head like a yarmulke.
Howard said he has JD's vows. He said that he was going to call her a beautiful creature but they talked him out of that. Howard said the new vows were really good. JD said he tried to work in some things that she likes and saw some vows online. Howard asked what he did. JD said he looked up some vows and worked them toward him. Howard said he did them like Mad Libs. JD said not like that. He said he saw the structure and saw how they went. Howard said you know JD didn't write these vows.
Howard played a clip of JD reading his vows off his iPhone at the wedding. JD cleared his throat and then read the vows. Howard said he loves JD. He said he really did well with this one. In the clip JD went through some of the things that he was vowing to do for his new wife. Someone was cracking up. JD said he doesn't know who that was. Howard said he has to know who it was. He said there were 10 people there. The vows had some jokes in them so that was making people laugh too. JD said he got emotional so he was trying to power through them so he laughed. Howard said it was a really good speech other than the inappropriate laughter.
Howard played more of the speech and JD vowed to make her the happiest person. Howard said that was a big improvement. Robin asked how many he can keep. Howard said zero. Robin said his work out vows went out the window. JD said he's still doing that. Howard joked about his ass and JD laughed way too hard. Howard said JD is his best audience over there.
Howard said JD is just going to get fatter. He said that he can vow all he wants. He said he's happy for him though. Robin asked about what they did after the wedding. JD said they went out to dinner and went back up to their room and went to bed. Robin asked where the family went. JD said they went to dinner and up to the room for the cake. He said then they just hung around with each other during the trip. Howard said he's sorry he missed that.
Howard said he's happy for JD and his wife. He said imagine JD not correcting his vows. Robin said she wishes they had let it go. Howard had a bit they created using JD's original vows. They had people laughing at him as he read the vows.
Howard asked if he regrets not having Jon Hein and Ronnie there. JD said he couldn't have afforded it. Howard said he got $200 from each of them. JD said everything went great. Robin asked if he flew people out and put them up. JD said he flew his parents out. Howard said he's not a rich guy so who would do that to him. He asked how he can afford to do that. JD said they wanted at least those people out there so they flew them out. Howard said they're starting out in the hole. JD said they are. Howard said they should do some news. He did a live commercial read.
Howard said he's happy for the boy. Robin said the bride is gorgeous. Howard said imagine Gary giving them the choice of the gift. He said they're not going to say just give them the money. He said Gary will have tons of stories for them at the dinner. JD said his wife does love Gary. Howard said that's not a great gift to give them the choice. Gary said he did ask if they would rather have money or a gift certificate. Gary said JD said he'd rather have dinner. Howard said just send them a gift and take them out to dinner. He said that's an awkward question to ask. Gary asked what Robin is giving them. Robin said that's none of his business. Gary said it's not their business what he does. Robin said he just told them. Gary said dinner is off and he's going to send them a gift. Howard said good. He said that wasn't the point but whatever.
Howard said he's gotten Gary a gift certificate many times but he's never offered to go out. He said that he has had him over for dinner though. Howard went back and forth with Gary a little bit but he gave up. He said Gary fights him whenever he tries to teach him something. They played a song parody about Gary's phlegm.
Robin said JD doesn't like to make choices. She said Gary made JD choose. Howard asked Fred if he sees his point. Fred said he thinks he does. Howard said don't ask what you want for a gift. Howard said he's turning into a whole thing. He said it's like a Sophie's choice. Gary said at the time no one was getting him a gift at all. Howard said he's trying to show him what's appropriate. He said he wants him to benefit oh so much from that.
Howard said Al Sharpton was doing a thing on MSNBC about Aretha Franklin. He said he doesn't know how to spell ''respect.'' He played a clip of Sharpton spelling it ''RESPICT.'' Howard said at MSNBC they let him talk on his own and he's fine. He said someone must have written that for him. He said reading isn't his strong thing. He said someone must have fucked him up. He said he spelled it RESPICT. Howard said someone screwed him up with that on the teleprompter. He said they have to stop having him read.
Howard said tomorrow they have to hit a bunch of things. Robin said before they go on she has a request. Robin said when she was raising money for that refugee school girl, which opened in 2010... Robin said some of the girls have graduated and they have discovered that girls often miss 4-5 days a month of school because they don't have the proper materials to handle their monthly cycles. Robin said the girls who are there now need feminine hygiene products. Robin said she would love to be able to help somehow. Howard said how about if everyone sends in one tampon. He said they have like 30 million subscribers. Robin said she would like to help in some way. She said you can email her at Robin.Quivers@SiriusXM.com. Robin said you think the girls can just show up but then things pop up.
Robin started her news talking about people who go to visit dead people and how silly she thinks it is. She brought up how George Takei and Brad went to spread ashes of Brad's mother and the ashes ended up blowing back on them. Robin said it was very funny. She said they were all heartfelt and sad and then the ashes just blow back. Howard said he loves George. Robin said this happens all the time when people try to spread ashes. She said she read in the paper the other day that a pilot took his dad's ashes and he ended up crashing the plane and dying and his brother is in critical condition now. Robin said please stop doing that.
Howard said people are already calling in about the feminine hygiene products. He took a call from a truck driver (from the back office) who wanted to give her used tampon to the cause. Howard said they wanted new stuff though. Howard spent a minute talking to her and then did a live commercial read.
Robin read a story about Aretha Franklin's funeral and how many outfit changes and things there were there. Howard said he wants all of that. He said he loved Aretha Franklin. He said he met her once for a second. He said he was in a restaurant and she summoned him over. He said he got to say hello for a second. He said he admired everything about her. He said the one positive was that no more animals have to die for her furs. He said he's not sure if she had fur on in her funeral. Robin said she didn't see any. Howard said he thinks he'd like a funeral where they drag him through the street. Robin said it was 6 and a half hours long. Howard said they went through it earlier this morning. Robin said she was just checking to see what he wants. Howard said he wants Brad and George Takei to take him on a mountain and spread him. Howard said he wants four outfit changes and he wants it done in front of the audience. He said imagine being changed 4 times. He said he's not sure why she wanted that. He said he thinks he'd be embarrassed even if he was dead. He said he doesn't even want people to see his penis when he's in the morgue.
Robin said the Franklin family has said that they found the speech by Jasper Williams to be disrespectful. Robin said he was saying that black lives don't matter. Howard said that will get you to wake up after 6 hours of funeral. Robin had some audio of that pastor speaking. Howard said he has to speak that way. He said he has to start doing that. He played the clip and said that guy really got into that. He said he must have gotten a hold of a Klan speech or something. Howard did his impression of that guy for a short time.
Robin said that she has audio of Pastor Ellis talking to and grabbing Ariana Grande at the funeral. Robin had some audio of Ariana singing at the funeral. Howard said that was beautiful. That led him doing his Bill Clinton impression talking about looking at her during the song. Robin had a few other clips from the funeral that she had Howard play. Howard said he'd love to sing at a funeral. Howard said that Aretha Franklin didn't have a will. He said that her 4 kids are going to have to share things equally. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked if you want to stand out at the funeral. Howard said he would like to be the stand out. Robin said there are a lot of people who are in the news after the funeral. Robin had more clips from Aretha Franklin's funeral for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about John McCain's funeral. Howard mentioned that Joan Rivers died 4 years go on this day. He said he should have done what Sicily Tyson did at Aretha's funeral. Robin had some clips from McCain's funeral. Robin said that Meghan McCain was talking about her father and may have been referring to President Trump at one point in her speech. Robin had Howard play a clip. Howard said she was on the show and he talked about that all this morning. Robin said that Trump tweeted after that and said ''Make America Great Again.'' Robin said she was shocked that Trump didn't lower the flag for McCain. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about McCain in 2008 and calling him a great guy. Robin said that he also made the news for talking about Aretha Franklin.
Robin said there's a man named Beto O'Rourke who is making news lately. Robin said he's running against Ted Cruz for senate. Robin said that he was asked about football players kneeling for the national anthem. Robin said he had an interesting answer for that. Robin had Howard play a clip. Robin said he should listen to the whole thing because he makes many good points about people serving this country.
Robin read a story about Serena Williams in the U.S. Open. Robin said there are many ads running about her and they're striking. Robin said there's one Nike ad that shows her dad teaching her how to play as a child. Robin had Howard play some of that. Howard said he's jealous of any dad who puts that much into their kid. Robin said he should watch the documentary about Peyton Manning's dad. Robin said that he was really involved in his kid's lives. She said Howard should really watch that. Robin had more of the ads about Serena. Howard said he heard Robin put out an angry tweet about not being able to see tennis. Robin said she did. Robin said she had to switch over to the app to watch it. JD said that he was watching too and he didn't see the problem Robin had. Robin said they don't have the same service. Howard asked if she called to complain. Robin said she didn't want to be on the phone. She said she just wanted to watch tennis.
Robin read a story about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner finally getting around to divorcing. Howard said that she's so pretty and he's not sure why he'd break up with her. Howard said he'd do whatever she wants to stay with her. Howard said that's why Pete Davidson is a hero of his. Robin said that Ben and Jennifer didn't have a pre-nup so they've been working all of that out. Howard said JD should have a pre-nup.
Robin read a story about Judy Nathan writing a tell all book about Rudy Giuliani. Robin said she's not sure if it's just a threat or if she's really doing it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was on set with Jennifer Garner and she is beyond stunning in person. Howard said she should be on top of the world. Howard said any guy would worship her. He said she's an earner too. Howard said Ben doesn't know how good he had it. Robin said he may know now. Howard said he has a huge tattoo on his back like he's part of the Yakuza or something. He said that guy has a whole comic book on his back. He said guys who do that are bored. Howard said it's the worst tattoo he's ever seen. He said there's nothing like ruining your body so they can't put you on camera with your shirt off. Howard said he would never do that to Jennifer. He said if she let him have sex with her he'd never drink. He spent a few more minutes talking about how hot she is.
Robin read a story about Nike running an ad with Colin Kaepernick in it. Robin told Howard about what the ad says and how people are being upset by the ad.
Robin read a story about Roseanne Barr talking about being abroad when the new ''The Connors'' starts airing. Robin said Roseanne is going to Israel to be taught by some people over there.
Robin read a story about Monica Lewinsky walking off a show when she was asked about President Clinton not apologizing to her. Robin had a clip for Howard to play. Howard said give her a break already. Robin said she wants to be out there so be able to handle the questions that come her way. Gary said they agreed not to talk about that there. Robin said she could have handled it differently. Howard said they shouldn't have asked if they agreed not to.
Robin read a story about the new Bachelor who is named Colton Underwood. Howard said he was consulted by this. He said they asked him what they thought of him being a potential bachelor. Howard said he told them that he would be excellent. He said he cries a lot and he's a virgin. He said it was his recommendation so he's one of the reasons he's on that show. He said that's all he'll say about that.
Robin read a story about the movie ''Crazy Rich Asians'' that's out now. Robin said if you're about to throw a wedding keep your daughter out of this movie. Robin said that this wedding party is huge in the movie. Howard said keep the money and invest it instead of spending it on a wedding. Robin said she thinks Howard would like this movie. She said it has made like $110 million. Robin said it's a complete Asian cast so they've making a big deal out of that. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Howard started the show talking about how he didn't get to finish his coffee. He said he's so consumed with the fact that Paul McCartney is coming in. He said it ruined his vacation. He said when he talks to Paul he feels like he's talking to a game changer like Mozart. He said that he gets crazy because he needs 25 hours with the guy. Robin said this is hour 3. Howard said he needs it all in a row. He said he wants it until he can't take it anymore. He said that guy is everything to him.
Robin said she saw him in concert this year and he was having such a good time on stage. She said he's been doing it so long. Robin wondered how you enliven yourself for that long. Howard said he could talk to him about his solo album for the whole interview. He said it was the first album post Beatles. He said he was wondering what it was going to be. He said when he bought it the thing came with a bowl of cherries. He said that you know that's not true. He said he thinks it was something about John Lennon and how he felt he wanted to be away from the guy. Robin said you can choose to look at things in a different way. Howard said he thinks it's just bitter and angry.
Howard said he was blown away by Paul's album. He said he played every instrument on the record. He said these days you can do that easier than you could back then. Fred said they had ancient technology back then. Howard said that first solo album was so good. He said he listened to it 20 million times. He said that had ''Maybe I'm Amazed'' on it. He said that wasn't a hit on the album. He said it was when it came out live.
Howard played some of ''Maybe I'm Amazed'' and said he gets to talk to this guy today. He said he'll do his best but he's not sure he can make it as great as it should be. Robin said he's setting himself up to fail. Howard said he doesn't care.
Howard said he knows everything about Paul. He said people say you can't really get to know him personally. He said he's limiting himself about the topics he's going to hit. Howard said Paul once called him and he thought that he was Paul Telegdy from NBC when he was on America's Got Talent. He said he spent the call thinking he was that guy and not McCartney. Howard said he must have been confusing McCartney. He said he eventually figured it out and then Paul said he had to go. Howard said he blew it.
Howard said there was an Saturday Night Live sketch where Chris Farley was interviewing Paul on a fake interview show and he is so nervous around Paul that he just says things like ''You were in the Beatles...'' and it turns into a farce. He said people get crazy.
Howard said he has the opposite kind of fame. He said he reveals everything on radio. He said everyone feels they know him and they're relaxed and inappropriate with him.
Howard said he has so many things to talk to Paul about. He said Paul wrote ''When I'm Sixty Four'' was written when Paul was just 15. Howard said think about what you were doing at 15. Howard said he was jerking off. Robin said she was avoiding family. Howard said Robin's story is not a pleasant one.
Howard said all through vacation he was thinking about what to ask Paul. He said he has a pad by the bed to take notes on. He said he was writing down his thoughts on the solo album and about different songs. He said he was thinking about their movies and other things. He said that his brain was racing. He said he's scribbling on this pad and he said he has to get out of the business because it's keeping him up at night. Robin said he's sharp though. Howard said it's exhausting.
Howard said he has to do right by his audience. He said he has to do right by Paul too. He said he doesn't have to do right by Fred.
Robin said the other thing about Paul is that all of these business decisions were going on. Howard said they had to have equal say in business four ways. He said Yoko took over when John died. He said he has to talk to Paul about this. He said he was coming out with the solo album... He said he has to save this for when Paul is in there.
Howard said there's all of this focus on the Beatles and they were doing everything together. He said then it becomes a gossip item when they're not doing something together. He said they speculate on what's happening when they don't do everything together. He said the whole world expects them to be there for one another. He said everything is scrutinized.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's thrilled and excited about this. She said that Howard is the one who can do the hour long interview. She said she was on when Paul was on last time. She said she's looking forward to this. Howard hung up on her in the middle of her talking.
Howard said when Paul walks in he'd like Fred to play ''Let Me Roll It.'' He said he'll start there. He played some of the song. Fred played some foot step sounds. Howard said what a riff that is in the song. Robin said this is sexy. Howard said she knows what would be done to her. He told her to put her top back on.
Howard said he gets worked up over everything and he's exhausted from it. He said he can't break it. He said he doesn't have the time to break his bad habits. He said even Benjy. He said it was his birthday yesterday. He said he missed something on Facebook with Benjy. He said the guys sent him his broadcast where the screen was black and he was running. He said it was actually Periscope. He said he doesn't have that so that's why he didn't see it. Howard said he was on Periscope with a blank screen running. He said he gets upset for him. He said it's such a waste of time. He said Benjy was just huffing and puffing and not talking. He said this is why he watches Bachelor in Paradise. He said he doesn't want to worry about this nonsense. He said everything freaks him the fuck out. He played a clip and said he thinks he's being Andy Kaufman. He said Benjy is getting him to talk about him though. He said he's a funny guy but he's not sure what this is.
Robin said at least he's saving it for his own Periscope. Howard said then Benjy labeled his stuff ''Yellow Cab Mench.'' He said it's like Avant Garde comedy. He said he doesn't know what this is. He said he was going to have him in there to ask but he's not going to do it.
Howard got a note from Benjy saying his hair is too tight and he should loosen it up. Howard said he did put in extra gel in it this morning. He said that he used to have someone fix his hair before the show. He said he's a man though so he had that stopped. Howard said he'll fix it during the commercial.
Howard said if he was a producer on that show he wouldn't do that. He said that he shouldn't be this angry about this stuff but he is. He said he sits there and obsesses about it. He said that they put this on ABC and they're controlling what the girls are wearing. He said if they don't want them wearing that stuff then tell them. Robin said it makes no sense.
Howard said everything drives him crazy. He said it all makes him nuts. He said he has to take a break to stay on schedule today. He said every time he saw that box on Bachelor in Paradise he was wondering if this is Saudi Arabia.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he thinks about the Nike controversy. Howard said it's all so ridiculous. He said congratulations to Nike for having a set of balls on them. He said corporations are so afraid these days. He said whoever the guy is at Nike who convinced them to take a stand is so refreshing. He said who cares if Colin Kaepernick takes a knee. He said that's his thing. He said he doesn't give a fuck if he does that. He said if everyone wants to do it then do it. He said they're just protesting. He said that's fine. He said the whole NFL is fucked anyway. He said these white team owners are all sending out their guys to get brain damage from playing a game. He said they get brain damage and walk around like vegetables from getting hit in the head. Howard said take a knee or take two knees.
The caller asked why a company that size would pick someone that controversial. Robin said he just said it was controversial. The caller said he heard that. Howard said Robin is like him talking to his parents and yelling. He said that he has to yell questions out to them. He said a nurse was telling him that you're not supposed to yell at older people but move closer and speak at a normal tone. He said he feels that's a good idea. He said that way he won't have to yell.
The caller said that Nike stock dropped. Howard said everyone will forget in a week. He said everyone forgot about Trump saying ''Grab 'em by the pussy.'' Gary said the stock dropped 3 percent a month ago too. He said it's very cyclical. Howard said he doesn't buy Nike but he will now.
Howard said Mel Gibson said the N-word and made a comeback. He said they were sucking his balls at that show. He said that Roger Waters is up to shit and he tells people about that and they don't even know it. He said no one gives a shit about anything.
Howard said he has to go. The caller asked him to please keep Robin out of the recording studio with those songs. Howard said she's a musical genius. The caller said it's horrible. Howard said how dare you. Fred played Robin singing ''Despacito.'' Howard said do you hear that? He said it's like an angel. They played a few other songs Robin performed and then went to break.
Howard said he downloaded some of Jessie Reyez's music. He said everything else he was fast forwarding through. He said he did like Aerosmith on the show. He said he loves watching Joe and Steven on stage together. He said he thinks they're doing a residency somewhere. He said Steven still hits every note. He said they teamed them up with some hip hop dude though. He said the guy's entire face was tattooed. He said that scares the shit out of him. He said he can't wrap his head around that at all. He said it's printing shit on your face like a billboard. He said you have to be very confident about your career if you do that. He said you're not getting a job at McDonald's or Trader Joes if you do that. Robin said she sees these kids with the dangling ear lobes these days. She said it's the same thing. Howard said that's a weird thing too. He said it's like putting plates in your lip.
Howard said he got his fingers tattooed and his agent told him not to even do that. He said he figured everyone thinks he's nuts already.
Howard played some of the Jessie Reyez song he was talking about. He said she has a bit of that Amy Winehouse kind of vibe. He said she's good.
Howard said he fast forwarded through most of the show until this girl came on. He said the other weird thing was Ralph emailing him. He said he has to stop giving out his email. He said Ralph said he would love to go to the VMAs and if it's a problem then just say no. Howard said he's a friend of his making a request to go. He said now it's on him to say no. He said that's not easy to say no. He said he was like fuck this guy. He said fuckin' Ralph with his requestion to go. He said he was beating himself up over it. He said he wasn't sure why he wanted to go. He said it's horrible.
Howard said even in its day it was horrible to sit there. He said he had to write a note to Gary. He said he ended up taking care of it. He asked Gary to get Ralph into the show. He said Gary ended up going with Ralph. He said Gary said he had a good time with Ralph. He said don't write him. He said ask Gary for it. He said it's getting fatiguing. He said if you're writing him with a request just think about everyone else asking. Howard said he doesn't want to be bothered with that stuff.
Howard said he doesn't want Gary calling someone at Viacom to get Ralph into the show. He said he doesn't want to owe any favors for Ralph. He said every time he asks someone to do something he owes them a favor. Howard said Gary told him that Ralph was bitching the whole time he was there. Gary said his best line was when he said Ariana Grande has a big ass. Robin said that's a jealous guy. Howard said Ralph used to say he wishes he could fuck her. He said he couldn't calm down. He said now she's engaged so he's attacking her.
Howard said Gary told him Ralph was bitching the whole time. Gary said he was bitching but it was more about how they didn't know who anyone was and about the length of the acts like J-Lo and Madonna.
Howard said Steven and Joe don't need this hip hop thing going on. He said that MTV must have said the young kids don't know who they are so they put them on with this guy. JD said that was Post Malone. Howard asked if that guy was ever in jail. Gary said Will was telling him he was a guy who did shows on the boardwalk and then he got face tattoos and now he's doing hip hop.
Howard said he's not sure what he'd put on his face. Robin said another face. Howard said he'd tattoo Brad Pitt on his face. He said that would be awesome.
Howard played some of the Aerosmith performance and said that Post Malone was just walking around on stage doing nothing. He said it was kind of weird.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he didn't ask him to get in. Howard said just go right to Gary to get in. Ralph said he thinks he should ask him. Howard said don't ask him for anything ever again. He said when they talk about shit in email it's delightful. He said that he's not against email. He said he's against asking him for stuff. Howard said his inbox is full of people asking him for shit. He said he has to stop.
Ralph said it popped into his head this year to go to the awards. He said he and Gary were having fun goofing on stuff. Gary said he was fun to watch. He said Ralph was the one complaining. Ralph said he was having a good time there. He said he wanted to go. He said Aerosmith was good and so was J-Lo. He said that she came out and did her thing. Howard said she's not even talented. Ralph said he's so wrong about that. He said she is talented. He said her music is good.
Howard said Ralph was bad mouthing the performers there in front of the publicists who book people on the show. Ralph said he wasn't that loud that the heard him.
Howard said Ralph did something weird on Twitter and Memet commented on it and Ralph blocked him. Howard had the tweet and Ralph said he loves blocking people. He said Memet was being a dick. Howard asked where the Twitter exchange is. Ralph said just stay away from him. He said Memet is a creep.
Howard was going to read the tweets but JD and Memet came in. Howard said he has to read the tweet. He said they're doing a bad job of explaining. Howard said he doesn't have the whole exchange. Memet said Ralph was bragging about being invited. Ralph said he wasn't bragging. He said he was just glad he was going. Memet made a comment about how MTV sure knows their demographic. Memet said that Ralph is old. Ralph said that's why he blocked him. Ralph said that the best part is that you block him and he can't respond.
Memet said that Ralph isn't old. He said he's a 60 year old who bleaches his hair. He said that's cool. Memet said there are lots of girls who love guys who are 60 and bleach their hair. Ralph said this guy is obsessed with him. He said it's really weird. Memet said he likes Ralph but no one likes him there. Howard said Memet lies about his age on the dating apps. Memet said he used to do that. He said he would tell the girls the truth.
Memet said Ralph is the one who started in with him. Ralph said Memet is a sociopath and he think that things happened that didn't happen. Memet asked what he contributes to the show that's interesting. Ralph asked why he follows him. Memet said he follows him like he follows Wendy the Retard. Howard said it's slow adult. Memet called Ralph the retard.
Memet said he thinks that Howard walking down the street with Harvey Weinstein would do less damage to his career than it would with Ralph. Howard said he's not sure why he keeps saying that Ralph is 60. He said he's not 60. He said he's like 50. Memet said he doesn't hate Ralph. Howard said he fucking hates the guy. He said he's calling him an old man who bleaches his hair. Memet said he made a mockery of his head. He said it's not cool. He said how dare he embarrass Howard like that.
Howard asked if Ralph is worse than Cosby. Memet said that Cosby allegedly raped like 200 people or something. Howard asked about Hitler. Memet said that Hitler would be worse but he would be better off with Cosby.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he hangs out with Ralph. He asked if he can get his balls and cock in his mouth at the same time. The caller asked why he wants to go hang out with little kids at MTV.
Howard asked if he would be better off hanging out with Mark David Chapman or Ralph. Memet said that it depends on who they think he's hanging out with.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Memet sounds like such a twat right now. She said that he's talking about Howard walking down the street with four men who have sexual assault charges against them. Memet said that he's just trying to help Ralph improve himself. The caller said he sounds like an asshole. She said Memet is being a douche. She said he just can't help himself being a douche on the air. Memet said he comes on like once a fucking year. Ralph said no one likes him in the back office. Memet said he'd bet that they like him more than they like Ralph there.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he wouldn't trust Memet around him. Another caller told Howard to get Ralph out of his life. He said that the guy is a loser. The caller said that Ralph doesn't get up until 10 in the morning but everyone else is a loser. Ralph said it's 8 right now so that blows his whole theory.
Howard took a call from the Boston Bomber who said Memet is right and Ralph is a douche. Memet asked if they're okay. Ralph said no because he's not in his life. He said he has to stop following him. Ralph said that Memet is almost bald at 30 so he's not sure why he's upset about his hair. He said Memet is going bald and by the time he's his age he'll be completely bald. Memet said that he thinks that's a trigger for him so that's why he's doing that. Gary said Memet blocks that word ''bald'' on Twitter. He said that he must be upset by those comments.
Ralph asked how old he is. Memet said he's 31. Ralph said he'll be bald by the time he's his age. Ralph said he has one more comment for him and hung up. Howard said that was like his microphone drop.
Memet said that he will not dye his hair if he goes grey. Howard said good for you. Howard said Ralph is going back to sleep for 4 hours now.
Howard said Ralph should stop asking to go to the awards shows. He said if you have his email don't ask him for anything. He said that people are always asking for stuff and saying they will only do it once. He said he has like 50 of those in his inbox.
Robin said that she will go to an event and she sees the people behind him and she knows that they all asked for tickets. Howard said that's the latest controversy. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he was in the bathroom fixing his hair. He said Benjy said it was too tight.
Howard said it's time for Musical Radio. He played a new bit where they went out on the street and had people answering questions by singing their answers. Howard said he loves musical radio. He said they ask people to answer in music.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Memet is so unlikable. She said she would rather overlook JD's looks or have her dog's dick over Memet. Howard asked her to repeat that in song. He said this is Memet's mother on the phone. He said he hears her point. He let her go.
Howard said they have heard enough about Memet. Robin said she's not sure why JD got hit in that call.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he did a hell of a job with the John McCain tribute yesterday. He said the guy was a great man if you agreed with him or not politically. Howard said the guy was a war hero. He said there aren't a lot of people who are that brave in this world. He said the guy was beaten with his legs and arms broken. He said this is the kind of guy you want on your team. Robin said she's not sure why people can't hear people's opinions today. Robin said part of this country is freedom of speech. Howard said speaking of that he has a new phony phone call. He said they had fake Angry Political Guy call a junk yard. Howard played the clip of Angry Political Guy calling the junk yard looking for some cars to pull along with another car. He said he was going to load them up with illegals and pull them down to Mexico. The junk yard guy was laughing his ass off saying it was a great idea. He said he'd give him 5 cars for free. The guy and Angry Political Guy were making plans to work together.
Howard said he met a guy who was simpatico with him in that call. He said that was the world's happiest racist. He said that was fantastic.
Howard said the email has been pouring in over vacation and after yesterday's show. He said a lot of people loved Sharon Osbourne. He read through some stuff about Paul McCartney coming in. Howard said someone said that Elvis was better than the Beatles. Howard said Elvis to him was nothing. Robin said he was something in rock and roll. Robin said he changed the world for some people. Howard said no he didn't. Robin said ask Paul about Elvis.
Howard said people were sending in questions for Paul. He said we all have questions for Paul. He said he has his own questions.
Howard said a lot of men are angry about JD's wedding photo. He said people were surprised about how beautiful his bride is. Robin said it was a gorgeous picture. Howard read some of the comments he got about JD's wife. People were shocked that he got her and said that he wouldn't get that if he wasn't on the Stern show. Howard said one guy said he hit the jackpot.
Howard said someone asked if Ronnie gave him sex tips for his wedding night. Robin said apparently not because he went to sleep instead. Howard played a song parody about JD's mumbling to the tune of The Beatles ''Love Me Do.''
Howard read more email about JD's wife and how beautiful she is. Howard said the comments were not gracious. Robin said you'd think people would be happy for JD. Howard said there's not a lot of happiness on this show.
Howard said people were writing in about the phony phone-a-thon and things like that. Howard said people liked Robin trying to get tampons for the girls in that school. Howard said a guy claims he laughed so hard at a comment about Aretha Franklin that he almost peed his pants.
Howard said a mortician said that changing the clothes on Aretha Franklin wasn't so hard to do. He said they just tuck it under the person. Howard said a lot of people liked hearing from Yucko the Clown. He said people commented on David Spade and said the reason he's doing stuff for Beth is because he wants to bang her. Robin asked if that's what Howard thinks. Howard said probably but he's not sharing his woman with him.
Howard said Ralph is back on the phone to comment on JD's wedding photo. Ralph said the shoes he was wearing were not good. He said the thing he really did wrong was the collar on that shirt. He said it's all floppy. He said a nice straight collar would have been nice. He said he emailed JD and he didn't want his help. Ralph also said you never button the second button on a two button suit. Robin said they left him to his own devices. Howard said that is a fashion faux pas. JD asked what they want from him. Robin said that JD did nothing and she did everything to make her dress perfect. Howard said they obviously had a wedding photographer. He asked if they asked him to unbutton that second button. JD said she did. He said he doesn't remember them even being buttoned. JD said he doesn't remember the moment specifically. Ralph said he's so unclear.
Howard said he saw an empty bag of chips and a chocolate bar wrapper in his garbage. He said he's already breaking his vows. JD said he's doing much better than he was. He said he had a KitKat bar. Ralph said his vows are right out the window. He asked why bother. Howard said he had vows about getting into shape. JD said he is working out. He said that was his breakfast. He said he had half a bagel too. Ralph said it's all empty calories. JD said he hates everyone there.
Howard said when he looked in that waste basket he realized he eats like a child with zero restrictions. He said that is the worst breakfast. He said he probably had cream cheese with the bagel. JD said it was vegetable cream cheese. Howard asked if he had a soda too. JD said he has one soda a day if at all.
Robin said he's like a 6 year old who can reach the junk food. Howard said he just got married this week and he had that in his wedding vows. Robin said good luck with the erst of them.
Howard said he has more email. He had a question about JD replacing the letter T with D like in Better sounding like ''Bedder.'' Howard said he does that a lot. JD said he says ''brother'' right.
Howard said a lot of people liked JD's bachelor party and Ronnie's poem. Robin said it's odd that no one got up and said something at JD's wedding. Howard said it was only 10 people. JD asked them to leave him alone.
Howard said someone suggested that Ronnie get his testosterone levels checked because he's so sexed up. Howard said they're going to take a break and then get Paul McCartney in here. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said he has to take a look at Paul McCartney. He said he has love in his eyes. He wanted to just stare at him. He said he can't take it. He said it's like talking to Mozart. Howard said this song must be hard to perform in concert. Paul said that it is but the riff is easy actually. Howard said Robin said it's a sexy song. Paul said he likes that riff too. He said he knew it was a good one when he was writing it.
Howard said when he put this song out he was being compared to John and his solo album. He said people said he was trying to sound like John with that riff. Paul said that the John vocal he'll give you. He said that the riff is all him. Howard said he put the echo on there so they said he was trying to sound like John. Howard said it has to be maddening when people ask who wrote what. He said it has to be fucking exhausting. Paul said it can be a total piss off sometimes but they are still talking about him so that's good.
Howard said when they made their mark with their look and then everyone started stealing their look it had to be tough. Paul said they didn't mind at all. He said it was kind of amusing and flattering. Howard asked if they wondered what they had spawned. Paul said that's kind of how it happened. He said they played at a place one night and they had the look. He said there were some guys who were in The Hollies there and they wished them luck. He said the next week they had the same look. He said that happened with a lot of people. Howard asked if they laughed at that. He said they were like Lemmings. Paul said they were kind of flattered. He said they were taking on their look.
Paul said they heard that story about a lot of people and especially after the Ed Sullivan show. He said this one guy told a story about how he had brushed his hair down after seeing them and his dad wondered what the hell that was. Howard said his dad let him grow his hair out as a kid. He said the Beatles made that possible. He said it's mind blowing. Paul said when you look back on it then it's amazing.
Howard asked if he would go back and watch the movie ''Help.'' Paul said he hasn't but it wouldn't make him sad. He said they don't have John and George now so it's like family snapshots. Howard said they were doing long form video and movies for their music and they were a revolution. Paul said they weren't trying to create that. He said they were just kids from a poor area in Liverpool trying to make money... and get laid. He said that's more Howard's subject. Howard said he wasn't a womanizer though. He said he got into relationships and he thinks the greatest love story is Paul and Linda. Paul said they did have a great love story.
Howard asked what the first track was on his solo album? It was ''Lovely Linda.'' Paul said now he has Nancy. He said she's probably listening. He said she's a big fan of Howard's. Howard asked how things are going. Paul said they're going lovely.
Howard said Paul lost his mother at 14 and he's not sure how he's not bitter about that. Paul said you bury it a lot. He said you deal with it. He said a lot of people you know lost their mom's early. He said John and Bono did too. He said that he and John both loved their moms and no one understood like they did. Howard asked if it was a heart ache for him. Paul said it was.
Howard asked how his dad did. Paul said he heard his dad sobbing in the next room and you never hear that. Howard asked what she died from. Paul said breast cancer. He said that Nancy is a survivor of breast cancer. He said Linda was lost to breast cancer too.
Howard said that John and Paul filled a hole for each other where their mother's were missing. Howard said it's amazing that he was able to do what he did. Howard said his dad's advice was to get away from John Lennon because he was trouble. Howard said his dad also told him that ''She Loves You'' they should forget ''Yeah, yeah, yeah'' and make it ''yes, yes, yes.'' Paul said that his dad had music ability but not ''hip.'' Howard played some ''She Loves You'' and said what a sound that was.
Howard said he was thinking about this 10,000 hours thing and he's thinking that they wrote songs every single day starting at 15 years old. He said they wrote 300 songs. He asked if you have to force that. Paul said there was no forcing. He said he would start writing and he'd say to people that he writes songs and they'd say ''Yeah, okay.'' He said they were bored. He said no one ever said anything. He said when he met John he told him he wrote some songs and John said ''So have I.'' He said that's when the bell went off.
Howard said they were talking about Elvis earlier and he didn't write songs. Paul said most song writers you don't see. He said they're hidden in a room. Howard asked if the performance or writing was more attractive to him. Paul said the performance was. He said they would go to do a show and the band that went on before they went on would perform all of the songs they were planning on performing. He said if they wrote the songs they can't even access them.
Howard said you have to have an ego to write songs. He asked if you get feedback about the songs. Paul said that's what John would do. He said he would tell him if it was crap. He said that's what he would do with John too. He said they were teenage mates so they didn't mind it. He said it didn't upset you. He said now it might.
Howard said what's amazing to him is this song ''When I'm Sixty Four'' and how he heard that music in his head at 15 years old. Howard said he had never had lessons and he played a song on the piano. Howard said he cant comprehend that. Paul said he just vamped the chords and just sang it out. He said they never wrote anything down. Howard said he writes this song and then what. Paul said he knew chords. He said they learned it and he could teach Howard how to play that way. He said it's a good thing to be able to read music but he doesn't read music. He said it helps. He said he could never relate to the dots on the page and the music he heard in his head.
Howard asked if he had to recall that song when he was writing this song. Paul said he remembered it from that age. He said he remembered everything. He said he would have played it for John so he knew it too. He said ''Michelle'' was the same. He said he wrote it as a kid with no words. He said he was just trying to get attention from the ladies at parties. He said he would sit there singing in French. He said he'd hope they'd come over and ask to sleep with him. He said he was just some weirdo in the corner with a guitar. He said he never got the girls like that.
Paul said that John did bring up that he should do something with that French song. He said that he has a good friend who introduced him to John. He said his wife was a French teacher. He said he was thinking of writing a song about Michelle. He said he got some suggestions from her for what to rhyme with Michelle. He said she actually wrote the song.
Howard said when the Beatles broke up he had all of these great songs ready to go. He said they could have continued the Beatles with all of the songs. He said that George did ''All Things Must Pass'' and he must have been surprised by that. Paul said that there was a lot of bad feeling going on and the business thing had crept in. He said that they never knew what was going on. He said with the film ''A Hard Day's Night'' the accountants got 3 percent. He said that still sticks in his craw. He said one of the accountants ran off to Brazil with the money. He said he came back and they let him back in with open arms.
Howard asked if he got tons of offers to go act in tons of films after that film came out. Paul said Italy came to them but not Hollywood. He said he was offered the chance to play Romeo. He said he didn't take it through.
Howard said they were talking about the business of the Beatles. Howard asked who broke it up. Paul said it was John. He said that's a long story. He said it came out like he was pinning it on him but that's not how it went. Paul said that John came to them and said he was leaving the group. He said he had found Yoko and John loved strong women. He said that his first wife wasn't. He said that she once said to him that she wanted a guy with a pipe and slippers to stay home with. He said John met up with Yoko and she insisted on sitting in during the recording sessions. He said that the guy was totally in love with her and he respects that.
Howard said this song he wrote where he wrote ''You took your lucky break and broke it in two.'' He said he heard the original lyric included ''Yoko.'' Paul said that's not true. Howard said he loves this song. He played some of the song ''Too Many People.'' He asked Paul if he likes that one. Paul said he does. Howard said this song makes him crazy. He said it hits him hard. He said every time he screws up he says he took his lucky break and broke it in two. Paul said he feels very blessed that they got over it. He said that if he hadn't and John had gotten killed he's not sure how he would have gotten over that.
Howard asked if the four of them had ever gotten together after they broke up. Paul said not really. He said it was just separately. Howard said the break up must have been so bitter.
Howard said he heard a story about The Beatles putting out ''Let It Be'' and Ringo comes to his house and tells him not to put out his album when they were putting out their album. Howard said he took Ringo and threw him out of the house. Paul said that's true. He said they had earned all of this money and they were giving all of this money to this other guy. He said Ringo was delegated to bring this thing to his house. He said his album release was already set. He said he told Ringo to fuck off and get out of his house. He said they worked it out though and got it back together.
Howard said the business is so ugly. He said that Ringo shows up with legal papers. Paul said he doesn't think anyone else would do it.
Paul said they're all good friends now so that's a blessing. He said if it had gone any other way it would have been a nightmare.
Howard said the song ''Love Me Do'' is early Beatles. He said he heard that John was going to sing it. He said then they needed him to play Harmonica so Paul sang it. Paul said that John used to sing it but then George Martin said he'd like to have Harmonica come in on a different part and John can't do it so he asked him to sing it. He said this was his first recording session so he was very nervous about it. He said he did it and his voice quivered. Howard asked if it was better playing live than what they do now when you can play a track over it and sing. Paul said it's different now and he thinks there is some magic in that old way of performing and recording.
Howard said he couldn't wait to hear what he was going to do with his new stuff. He said he remembers that album like it's yesterday. He said that the mind blowing thing was that he recorded every instrument on that album. He said it was so stripped down. He said it was the opposite of what they were doing on Sgt. Peppers and Abbey Road. Howard asked why he did that on his first solo album.
Paul said that he had his instruments at the house and Linda said she didn't know he played electric guitar. He said he was a bass player. Howard asked what he doesn't play. Paul said he doesn't play everything. He said he was going to play lead solo but he screwed it up so badly that he was never going to play lead again. He said George was very good at it. He said he was a lead guitar player.
Howard said Linda seemed like a peace maker. He asked if she ever wanted to make up with everyone. Paul said they tried to do that but they were strongly rebuffed. He said they got a letter from John after Linda wrote to him. Paul said he thinks John wrote something about thinking it was from a fan. He said it was kind of cold but that was a time when it was like a divorce. He said Linda was good at that trying to work things out.
Howard said Paul goes into a room or something. Paul said he did it in a room in the front of the house. He said they had a four track recorder to do it. He said he got someone to show him how to do it. He said he had one microphone for the drums. He said now it's 15-20. Howard said he went back and listened to that album and forgot that ''Maybe I'm Amazed'' was on it. He said that was such a great song but it wasn't a hit until he did it live.
Howard played ''Maybe I'm Amazed'' and said he was in his living room doing all of the instruments. Howard said he's so good. Howard asked if this was in his head a long time. Paul said he wrote it just after they broke up. Howard asked if it was about Linda. He said maybe it was about John. Paul said it wasn't about John. Howard said John is the love of his life. Paul said no he isn't. He said the women are the love of his life. He said he loved John as a brother. He said the song was about Linda. He said here was some doubt in that song too. He said maybe he was needy.
Howard said Linda is there for him and maybe it was the need for his mother. Paul asked if he charges for this. Howard told him to lay down on that couch.
Howard asked what he's eating because he looks good. Paul said he's a vegetarian. He said he always will be. Howard said he could eat anything on this planet.
Howard asked if he still loves touring. Paul said he does. He said he likes staying in hotels. He said that people hate that but he loves it. He said he should be jaded but he still enjoys it.
Howard said he was talking to Jerry Seinfeld about doing stand up and staying in hotels. He said he still enjoys it. Paul said it's like a family with the people who all do the shows together. He said when you're back on tour it's like reuniting with the family. Howard said it has to take a lot out of you doing a tour. Paul said it can energize you. He said you're in the bubble so you travel in a car to a plane and then to a car and to the gig. He said it's all taken care of. Paul said the audience is another thing. He said you walk out and it's big. He said it's very warming. Howard said it's amazing to go to a concert with him.
Howard said he was shocked that they perform the song ''A Day in the Life'' on tour. He said it's very complicated. Paul said they're just a great band. He said they have a keyboard player who can recreate some of the more complicated stuff.
Paul said he just wanted to go back to doing what they did as The Beatles. He said he wanted to start over. He said Linda didn't know how to play but he wanted her to learn. He said he wanted her in the band so that's what he did. He said they were just in a little band again. Howard said it has to be tough to start all over again. Howard said the band was named Wings and his daughter was born around that time. Paul said it was a complicated birth with Stella. Howard said he prayed a lot. Paul said it was a bit touch and go at the time. He said Stella was in an incubator unit and she had wires coming out everywhere. He said that he thought about angels and wings and that's where Wings came from. Howard asked if he's a religious guy. Paul said not really. He said he's not subscribing to a religion because it's too crazy. He said he didn't even know what religion he was when he was 11. He said they made him Church of England since he didn't know. He said his mom got them christened but that was about it.
Howard asked if he raised his daughter with religion. Paul said it was more spirituality than religion. He said that he takes the good stuff from all religions.
Howard said he just read this yesterday about Paul saying he took LSD and he saw god. He said he didn't take that literally. Paul said he was just enjoying the chat with this guy. He said he told the story and it wasn't LSD but it was another drug. He said that they all agreed they had seen this thing that felt like god. He said it was some powerful voice. He said that he doesn't think he saw god for real.
Howard said Paul wrote songs after coming up with the music but then he woke up with lyrics in his head and it was ''All My Loving.'' He had never written a song like that before.
Howard said on Hey Jude George wanted to echo his voice on guitar. He didn't want that. Howard said that would have driven Paul nuts. Paul said he didn't think it was a good idea. He said that the rule was that you were allowed to make the calls if you wrote the song. He said George wanted to do that and he told him no. Howard said it would have been too much. Paul said it didn't feel like the right thing to do.
Howard asked if he got rid of songs because John or Ringo said no way. Paul said he doesn't think so. Howard said when it's done by committee then you have to go select. He said someone has to rule on that. Paul said that's where the producer comes in. Howard said he wrote ''I Want to be Your Man'' and he gave it to the Rolling Stones. Howard asked why he'd do that. Paul said that they'd write songs for Ringo because they knew his style. They did it with Ringo but then the Stones did it. Howard asked if he liked that version. Paul said anyone who covers his song he loves. He said that he loves hearing that. He said they do it differently and they loved the song enough to cover it.
Howard asked if the greatest cover ever was Joe Cocker. Paul said there were a few others that were great versions but Joe Cocker killed it. He said he changed the arrangement completely. He said he loved it. He said they called him and asked to play it for him. He said they played the Joe Cocker version for him and it was incredible.
Howard said Paul wrote ''Come and Get It'' for Badfinger. He said he told them to just play the song as he wrote it and they'd have a hit. Howard said it sounds like a Beatles song. Howard played some of the song. Howard said that was a beautiful song. Howard said they did have a hit with it too. Howard said he has the demo version of it too. He played that for Paul. Paul talked about how he recorded the song and said it's very simple. He said it's not complicated at all.
Howard asked how he knows how to play drums. Paul said he would mess around with them in Hamburg. He said he learned. He said they had a lot of time there so he learned it there. Paul said he went in and recorded the song in 20 minutes.
Howard said James Taylor did a cover of a Beatles song. He asked if he ever writes a letter to them. Paul said he'll see them and he'll talk to them. He said that he will tell them that it's a great version. He said he even told Belushi he did a great version.
Howard asked about ''Drive My Car'' and played some of it for Paul. Howard said Paul said this is a song that had evolved for him. He said he was singing about a car and a person and it was more complex. Paul said he thought ''From Me To You'' was more complex. He said this one he brought in and it was about golden rings. He said they sat around trying to figure it out and John agreed it was going nowhere. He said they went out and had a cup of tea and got rid of the rings and had another idea and the song just wrote itself.
Howard said ''Here There and Everywhere'' was written when he was on the set of ''Help.'' Paul said he doesn't think that's true. He said that's just another rumor. He said he knows exactly where he was. He said he was in John's house. He said he was sitting by his pool. He said John wasn't up yet and he was just waiting around for him. He said that he wrote this one while he was waiting and then he played it for John when he got up. Howard said John told him that he had evolved after that. Paul said when they were doing the movie Help they were doing a skiing thing and they knew nothing about how to do it. He said he was rooming with John and they had a cassette of the album. He said that he played ''Here There and Everywhere'' and that's when John said that he had evolved. He said they had never complimented each other like that. Howard said it liberates you when your writing partner says that something is good like that. Paul said it gave him a lot of confidence. He said you generally didn't do that kind of thing though. He said you didn't stand around saying ''I love you man.''
Howard said they were talking earlier about doing everything together. He said in real life they'd do things separately and people would start talking about how they were kissing each other. Howard said everything they did was under scrutiny.
Howard asked about the song ''Fixing a Hole'' and if it was about fixing the hole in his life his mother left. Paul said maybe that's what it's about. Howard said his mother is still alive so he doesn't have that but he can see how it would leave a hole.
Howard said this guy came to Paul's house who called himself Jesus and he invited him in to see him record this song. He said that wouldn't happen today. Paul said back then you didn't think like that. He said if you had something going on he'd say he wasn't in. He said this guy showed up in a beard and he said he was Jesus. He said he told him to come in and have a cup of tea. He said he figured he wasn't really Jesus but you never know. He said he didn't want to tell Jesus to go away.
Paul said he invited the guy to come see a recording session. He said he told the guys he may or may not be Jesus. He didn't want to take any chances. He said he just had him sit in the corner quietly.
Howard played ''She's Leaving Home'' and said that he thinks that it's a beautiful song. He said George Martin got pissed at him for recording it without him. Paul said that he rang George first and he had something going on so he couldn't do it. He said he didn't want to wait so he had to get it out. He said he knew another guy and went to him. He said he rang him up and he wondered if George would mind. He said that he didn't think it would but it did. He said that George was never on holiday again after that. He said he can see how it would be hurtful. He said you don't think about that when you charge ahead.
Howard asked if George read him the riot act. Paul said he didn't. He said they spoke quietly. Howard played some of ''Obladi Oblada'' and asked where that came from. Paul said he knew a guy who would say that. He did his impression of the guy and the guy sounded Jamaican. Paul said he loves that piano intro. He said that he, George and Ringo were slaving over it and John wasn't there. He said John was late again. He said that John came in and asked what they were working on. He said John went over to the piano and just played that opening. He said that's what it needed.
Howard said that must be great to have that. He said what a story that is. Howard said they don't have any clunkers. Paul said looking back on the Beatles career it does amaze him. He said they wrote something just short of 300 songs. He said he wonders how he did that. He said he does think of a kid writing the songs and thinking that the kid is good. Howard said it is crazy. Paul said they would meet up to write and every single time they came away with a song. He said that ''Drive My Car'' was a tough one but they pulled that out too.
Howard said you really have to work a song and not give it up. Paul said that's the secret. He said he was doing a song the other day. He said now you can record anything on your phone. He said he has about 2000 of these things on his phone. He said they're things he hasn't gotten back to.
Howard asked Paul if he has thought about what he doesn't want people hearing after he's gone. Paul said he hasn't thought like that. He probably should. He said you do archive now. He said you never thought of stuff like that back then. He said they would just write the lyrics on a piece of paper and left them in the studio. He said you never knew there would be an auction for those thing. He said he was showing his daughter how to find things in books in a library. He said he was over in London doing that. He said they were walking through the museum and in an exhibition case there was ''Yesterday'' lyrics. He said he traced it back to a journalist who was known for picking stuff up. He said this guy has loads of these things. Howard said it's crazy that people have the foresight for that stuff. Paul said they were just too young to think about that.
Paul said he did ring the guy up and asked Hunter (Davies) about taking those lyrics and giving them to the museum. He said he had just picked them up in the studio. Paul said he still thinks they're his. He said that Hunter said he would give them back if he would write them out for him again. He said he did it.
Howard said he loves the Beatles Anthology tracks that they're putting out. He said that's where he got the demo track he played earlier. Howard said there's just so much to talk about. He said he has a new album coming out. Paul said it's coming out Friday. Howard asked if he ever gets tired of being judged. He said he has a new album out and now he's getting judged again. Paul said you forget about how the process goes. Paul said you can make things sound great and then comes the time when you release it. He said that he thought he was just having fun but it's like taking an exam. Howard asked if he reads those remarks. Paul said he tries to avoid it. He said that he'll have a complex for the next 5 years if he reads some of that stuff. Howard said the album is called ''Egypt Station.'' He asked if he loves life. Paul said he does. He asked Howard how he is. Robin told him not to ask.
Howard said he loves the story about Paul being out to dinner with someone who challenged him to write a song about anything. He was at Dustin Hoffman's house in Jamaica when he did this. Paul said Dustin ran up and got a magazine where they reported on the death of Picasso and his last words were ''Drink to me. Drink to my health...'' and he wrote a song about that. Howard said he likes how people are always challenging him. Paul said he doesn't mind it. He said he could just tell them to fuck off.
Howard asked if he came close to working with Jimi Hendrix. Paul said that's another rumor. He said he loved Jimi and it was mind blowing to see him play. He said he was in a club late at night and it was empty. He said that he heard this clunking and clinking on stage. He said it was a guitar being plugged into a big amp. He didn't think much of it. He said it was the Jimi Hendrix Experience and he did his whole act for just about no one in the club. He said he was blown away. He said a few nights later the club was packed.
Howard asked if he's shocked when a song like ''Kung Fu Fighting'' becomes a hit. Paul said that you don't have to like it but you get why the song was a hit.
Howard said he has been up for days thinking about interviewing him. He said he just loves him so much. He said he can't do a good enough job with him. He said he's that important to him. He said he needs 50 hours with him. Paul said that is very sweet. He said Howard does great interviews. He said he got a little psych session too.
Howard said there's a new song called ''Fuh You'' and that's just ''fuck you.'' Paul said it's really not. Howard played some of the song and said that is ''fuck you.'' Paul said he has no idea what he's talking about. He said it's a love song. Howard said he relates to that song more than anything. Howard gave him another plug for his album and said that's based on a painting he did. Paul said that's right. He said he did a painting that had some Egyptian things in it and that's where it came from. Howard said they must paint together. Howard said he does water color painting.
Paul said he was out with Jack Nicholson and his niece in law was there. He said you'd think she's very prim and proper. He said Jack walks in and sits next to her. He said Jack said ''Big balls coming in.'' He said he meant that a man was coming in to sit next to her and she loved that. He said that's some opening line. Howard asked if he can write a song about that. Paul laughed. Howard said Robin over there wants to fuck him. Paul said that's probably not going to happen this morning.
Howard wrapped up with Paul and asked what he's doing today. Paul said he's rehearsing for a secret gig they're doing on Friday night. He said that they're doing Fallon today. He said that they're doing the show tomorrow and a special show on Friday. Howard gave him some more plugs for Egypt Station too. Howard said he's cranking out the songs. Paul said they're going to Canada too. He said they have to rehearse for that.
Howard said you can get dates for his tour at PaulMcCartney.com. He gave him some other plugs and Paul went over for a hug. Howard got his hug and they wrapped up. Paul was already on his way out.
Howard said he thinks he chased him out. Gary came in and said that Paul came out saying ''That guy's funny.'' Howard said he's amazing. Howard said Fred loves Paul. Fred said that's his daughter's favorite Beatle. Howard said Paul saw Fred and ran out. He said he did stop to shake his hand though. Howard said he's a living legend. Gary said he did a great job. Howard said the guy is amazing. They went to break after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was fantastic. He said this is the third time. Howard said yes it is. The caller asked if Fred was helping with the music. Howard said he was doing all of that himself. He said he has a computer in front of him with all of the songs there. He said he was popping through them. The caller said he was right there with the demo song. Howard said that was weird because he had to look away from Paul.
The caller said he didn't bring up that autograph signing thing. Howard said he talked to him about that last time. He said he went back and listened to those old interviews so he could avoid that stuff he already talked about.
Howard said he needs 50 hours. Robin said what he should do is propose to him doing an oral record of his life and his point of view in the writing of all of those songs. Robin said he could go through every song. Howard said that's what he wants to do.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he killed it and he could feel his energy with that interview. He said he's really proud of him. He said he was wondering if Robin was even there. Howard said they're all there.
Howard took another call from Ralph who said he's amazed that he can write songs so effortlessly. Howard said he and John got together and wrote 300 songs. He said he knows guys who wrote that many songs and they all suck. He said it's not enough to just wrote 300 songs. He said you have to put in the time and write good songs.
Howard said Paul was on his way to record a song once and he was robbed. He said they stole the demo he had for ''Band on the Run.'' He said if he got robbed of that he'd kill himself. He played some of the song. Howard said he wanted to talk to him about that too but he didn't get to it.
Ralph said he told Howard to save his Letterman notes years ago. Howard said maybe he should have.
Howard let Ralph go and Robin said that maybe it was the pressure they were always under that made those songs so great. She said that it's like taking quartz and putting it under so much pressure it makes a diamond.
Robin started her news with a story about Honey Smacks cereal having a recall. Robin said Kelloggs is recalling it because it has been contaminated with salmonella. Howard asked how that happens. He didn't know you could do that with cereal. Robin said it is and it can make you sick.
Robin had a clip of a man being smacked by a woman on the subway and not doing anything about it other than asking someone to call the police. Howard said he felt bad for that guy. He said he got smacked like 12 times. Howard said he felt really overwhelmed. He said it brought him back to his childhood. Robin said the guy says the woman just started yelling at him and hitting him.
Robin read a story about a homeless man who gave a woman $20 for gas and she raised some funds to help him. Robin said the woman went back and found the man and they started a GoFundMe page for him to get him set up and back in his life. Robin said now it's a big mess and the homeless man says they raised almost half a million for him and he's only gotten $75,000 of that. Robin said now they're in court. Robin said the couple said that there is about $130,000 and now in court they're saying there's nothing left. Howard said he's not surprised by that. He said they raise money for a pet or surgery or something and a lot of them are so full of shit. He said they never guarantee they'll return the money or anything. He said it's a modern day way of pan handling and it's a mess. Robin said GoFundMe is saying they're going to make sure this man gets what he deserves. Howard said he doesn't like this GoFundMe thing. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Jeffrey Owens who was on The Cosby Show. Howard said he read about that. Robin said the man was the son in law on The Cosby Show. She said he was seen at a Trader Joes bagging groceries and they went there to interview him. Robin said they were pointing out stains on his shirt and saying he doesn't look the way he used to look. Robin said they were job shaming him. Howard said he respects anyone who works for a living. He said so what if he's working at Trader Joes. He said that he can't stand people who rip people off. Robin said this guy took the job after 30 years of acting, teaching and directing. Robin said it wasn't working for him and he took the job because it offered him flexibility. Howard said he could have been a cunt and asked for a GoFundMe page. He said he didn't do it. He said he went out and got a job. Robin said he was upset when the story first came out but then he saw the outpouring of love for him and that made things better. Howard said Tyler Perry has offered him a job as an actor too. Robin said she was going to mention that.
Robin read a story about NBC and Ronan Farrow going at it over the Harvey Weinstein story. Robin said that Ronan is saying that NBC blocked him from releasing the story and NBC is saying that he didn't have all of the facts when he started to publish the stories. Howard asked how we find out the truth. Robin said they'll have to see where it goes.
Howard took a call from a guy who suggested that he pay Paul with some of his ''fuck you'' money and just talk to the guy. Howard said he doesn't want to pay to talk to him. The caller said he can have him over and when he wakes up with something to ask he can go knock on his door and ask him. Robin said that she'd never go to this guy's house. Howard said how about a 3 day marathon on the air.
Robin read a story about some sexual assault allegations that came out against a few stars in Hollywood. Robin said that Kevin Spacey is one of them and she went through some of the details of that. Robin said the prosecutor's office is not pursuing any charges against the three men. Howard said that Robin Wright came out saying that they should hire Kevin back. He said he thinks he read that. Robin said she knows that James Gunn was wanted back by the cast of the movie Guardians of the Galaxy. Gary said Howard is right about the story. He said she did say that he deserves a second chance.
Robin said when she is going through Netflix she will see a Kevin Spacey movie and she's not sure if she should watch it or not. Howard asked if she watched it. Robin said she thinks she passed on this one. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read more about the charges that were dropped against Steven Seagal and Anthony Anderson.
Robin read a story about Asia Argento and a 17 year old she allegedly sexually assaulted. Robin said that she says she's not going to pay him the money she agreed to pay him. Robin said Asia is not going to prosecute the man and she believes he has the right to speak out. Robin said if you're a victim of something do you get to be a part of the MeToo movement. Howard said he doesn't have all the answers.
Robin read a story about Lana Del Ray is canceling her Israel concert due to pressure. Howard said no one wants to see her anyway. Howard said this is all modern day anti-Semitism. He said it's the same old bullshit. He said when Germany acted up the Jews had nowhere to go. He said some made it to other countries. He said very few. He said this is the Jews only hope. He said he doesn't give a fuck what Roger Waters says. He took a call from a Lana Del Ray fan. It was the guys in the back playing Hitler drops. Howard had a short conversation with him. Howard had Fred play a Lana Del Ray song so he could hear what people are going to be missing out on. Howard said she is a good looking girl. He said Mel Gibson likes this song. He said turn this shit off.
Robin read a story about a new report that 15 men who worked or lived near the towers now have breast cancer. Howard said he knows guys who went down there and have cancer. Robin said this is breast cancer. Robin had some audio clips of one of the guys talking about that. Howard said imagine you survive that day and now you have breast cancer. He said they should have been wearing space suits. Howard said it's the worst kind of cancer for a dude to get. He said guys don't call them breasts. He said they're Pec's. Howard said he's worried about Benjy because he has breast tissue.
Robin read a story about protestors who showed up for the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearing. Robin had some clips of the protestors. Robin had some audio of the yelling and talking over each other at the hearing. Robin said this woman was among a group dressed as characters from the Handmaid's Tale. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Bob Woodward coming out with a new book about the Trump Administration. Robin said it's called ''Fear: Trump in the White House.'' Robin said they have released some excerpts from the book and they claim that John Kelly called Trump an idiot that has gone off the rails. Robin said some of these people are denying that these claims are true. Robin said that some aides have stolen papers off the President's desk to protect the country. Robin said they have also revealed that Robert Mueller is going to let Trump answer some of his questions in writing. Robin had some audio of Stephen Colbert doing his monologue about the new book. Robin said she understands that his ratings keep going up and up and up and the Tonight Show is suffering.
Robin read a story about People magazine naming Meghan Markle the best dressed woman of 2018. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Today's show was over around 11:00am.
Today's show was over around 11:00am.