For the week of 01/15/2018 to 01/19/2018

• Howard Takes Some Calls. 01/15/18. 7:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: A ''Ultimate Duets with Will the Farter'' commercial parody, Metallica performing ''Enter Sandman'' in the Howard Stern Show studio, Sour Shoes song parody singing as Baba Booey, Jim Breuer as Richard Pryor announcing they have Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin on the show today.

  Howard started the show talking about how they're live on Martin Luther King day. He said it took him by surprise that they're there today. He said he thought they were off. Robin said he decided they should work this time. Howard asked if he's a racist or something. He said he can't observe if he's there. He said he'd be home watching porn with black people in it. Howard said he'd honor Martin Luther King.

  Howard asked Gary why it happened. Gary said it's kind of boring but they could have had two extra days or an extra week off if they worked today. Howard said it's crazy scheduling and it's fine. Robin said it's like adding that extra minute a year to make the calendar work.

  Howard said he doesn't know where to begin. He said he may cry on the air today. He said he has strong feelings about Jane Fonda. He said he wants to talk to her and he could lose it. Robin asked if she's a bigger hero to him than her. Howard said yes. Howard said Robin is his hero too but for other reasons. He said he has heroes too. He said Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda will be in. Robin said she's glad they're coming in today. She said she's been a fan of Grace and Frankie for a long time. Robin said they talk about aging and stuff like that in the show.

  Howard said he could end up crying today. Robin said as baby boomers they don't talk about aging but they get into it that show. Robin said it's great. She said it's funny at the same time. Robin said both of them had their husbands leave them for each other.

  Howard said thinks they were only available today so this works out. Howard said they do honor Martin Luther King by doing a show today. Howard said he has so many other things to tell. Robin wished him a happy birthday. Howard said he will be sending her a note thanking her for the gift She gave him. He said that was great. He said he got nothing from Fred. Robin said Fred is a gift in himself. Howard said Fred knows he doesn't want any gifts.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he's so sick and tired of Oprah Winfrey. He asked where our democracy has gone. Howard said he likes Oprah but again, it's enough with TV personalities going into government with no knowledge of government. Howard said it's a day in and day out management job. Howard said it's not excitement and action. He said they have to identify what people need and doing something about it. Howard said it can't be about an entertainment career. Howard said be a patriot. He said The Rock has to just go do movies. Howard said it's not exciting to be in office.

  Robin said She was watching the news last week during the cold spell and there are people without heat. Robin said that's government and that's what they have to fix. Howard said that's a good point. Howard said Oprah doesn't want to sit through meetings about taxes. He said that he needs to see a person who has a record of public service. Robin said you have no idea what kind of president She would be. Robin said you can't say She should be president. Howard said you know where She stands on some things. He said Al Franken was the one exception. Robin asked about Sonny Bono. Howard said no. He said that Clint Eastwood at least did something. Robin said you build up. She said get some people some heat first. Howard said he's with the caller on this. He said he's sick and tired of this too.

  The caller said he loves Howard talking about the Winston Churchill movie. He said people don't have a knowledge of our history. Howard said that people were bowing down to Hitler and England was going on that path. He said they were going to negotiate with the Nazis. Howard said Churchill stood up to the Nazis even when America wasn't standing up to them. Howard said the French army had already pulled down their pants and took it up the ass. Howard said there you go. Howard said he should be honored and Darkest Hour is a great movie.

  Howard said the one thing about the Oscars and Golden Globes is that these movies get attention. Howard said that ''Get Out'' was another great movie. He said he got a free screener of that. He said he never would have seen it otherwise. Robin said She told Howard about it. Howard said the movie is so great. He said Lady Bird was great too. Robin asked if he saw ''The Shape of Water.'' Howard said he did and it was fantastic. Robin said Guillermo del Toro is so great. Howard had to correct her on the pronunciation for his name. Robin asked him to sing the name game with his name. Howard did it. Howard said he loves Guillermo del Toro. He said he's the reason he got into painting.

  Howard said he keeps journals and he put out two volumes of his journals (Guillermo del Toro: At Home with Monsters: Inside His Films, Notebooks, and Collections) and it's so meticulous. Howard said everything is important to him. He said it's his works of art. Howard said he has to have a specific journal. Howard said for the Shape of Water he draws the characters. He said he did The Strain too. He said that's a show he loves. Howard said he has seen those characters before in his journals. Howard said he loved that the woman in The Shape of Water wasn't a beauty queen.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's going to be on the new Letterman show on Netflix. Howard said he will be. Robin asked if he saw the first interview. Howard said he did not. The caller asked about the interview Letterman did with Seinfeld. Howard said that's not the show he's going to be on. He said he's doing the new show. Robin said She watched the show with Letterman and Obama and he was in New York. Robin said they did it at a university where Obama had his first job. Howard said that makes sense. Robin said Obama didn't go out anywhere.

  Robin said the interviews they did outside the interview were with other people. Howard said he doesn't want to walk around outside. He said he doesn't like these field pieces.

  Howard said he did 60 Minutes but he had a hard on to be on the show. He said the thing is that the proposition was go to Indiana and he's not going to do that. He said he's not traveling to Indiana by coach and buggy for days. Robin said they did the interview in front of an audience. Howard said they're going to do it somewhere in New York. He said the dream of going to Indiana is over. Howard said he's not going out there. He said he's not sure why he has to fly out there. Howard said he wouldn't go to Chicago to do the Steve Harvey show. Howard said if he's around in New York or L.A. people will do it.

  The caller asked about Comedians in Cars with Jerry Seinfeld. Howard said he did that. He said that was 3 hours of a day. He said he likes Jerry and Jerry has done his show. Howard said he's not going to go to Indiana for a whole weekend. He said maybe when he was 20 and trying to make it in show business he would have done it but not now.

• Halsey, Natural Deodorants, Toto And More. 01/15/18. 7:20am
  Howard said he watched Saturday Night Live this week and they had this girl Halsey on. He said She can sing and rap. Howard said they had Bill Murray playing Steve Bannon. Howard said they had Sam Rockwell hosting the show. Robin said he's great. She said Howard has seen him before. Howard said he was good on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he didn't know Halsey before. He said She was in that one song with Imagine Dragons or something. Gary said it was The Chainsmokers. Howard said She put shitty tattoos all over her body. He said she's a good looking girl and She has stuff on her that looks like someone randomly threw shit on her. He said that they're not that great. He said they're ugly. He said one or two tattoos would be cool. He said the tattoos are random on her. He said they don't look good. He said She looks like a high school locker. Howard said maybe she's so hot that he's not hearing the song. He said he thinks she's really talented. Robin said we'll have to see. Howard said She was almost nude on stage.

  Fred played some of Halsey's performance from Saturday Night Live. Howard said now he'll see if She has talent if he doesn't see her. Howard said she's hot and talented.

  Howard said he was reading an article in GQ magazine. He said he thinks they send it to him for free. He said he doesn't have to subscribe. He said no one reads magazines anymore. Robin said the people who own Penthouse are filing for bankruptcy and Playboy is thinking of giving up the print magazine.

  Howard said he was reading this article and he has been looking for a natural deodorant. He said that if you don't use it you stink. He said they use aluminum in this stuff and they say it's not good for you. He said he found out about this stuff that was natural and didn't have aluminum in it. Howard said he sent away for it and got it and the first day it worked great. He said the second day he caught a whiff. He said he wondered what the fuck this was. He said the stink was like you've never smelled. Howard said he realized it was no aluminum. He said it didn't work. He said he stunk so bad. He said he hadn't smelled armpit smell in so long. He said he realized he really is an animal. He said that's what we're supposed to smell like. He wondered how early man walked around and didn't stink. Robin said it hasn't been that long since they've had deodorants. Robin said that's where perfume came from. Howard said he was so ashamed.

  Howard said he went home and washed his armpits. He said he threw this stuff out. He said there is no such thing as a natural deodorant. Robin said if you're a heavily scented guy it won't work for you. Howard said he doesn't even have that much hair under his arms. He said he has to use the stuff that could kill him.

  Howard said the thing they have perfected is the Toto toilet that shoots water up your ass. Robin said She got 2 after coming back from a vacation where She used one. Howard said it's not that expensive but installing it is. He said that they work really well. He said he made doody this weekend and had a wonderful experience with his Toto. Howard said he has a thing where he's in and out. He said he walks around until he has to go and it's almost coming out his ass. He doesn't sit on the toilet reading. He said some people turn it into an event. Howard said there is something about sitting on the throne doing that but you can get hemorrhoids.

  Howard said he went over to this Toto and everything comes out. He said he flushes after looking at what he did. He said with the Toto you press a button and he shoots water up your ass. He said sometimes it shoots it up there so hard it's like a Waterpik. He said the water must get into his butt and he kind of dumps out again. He said it's like an enema. Robin said you can control the pressure. Howard said he goes hard. Howard said after the second release he is clean. He said then he shoots more water and then wipes. He said there's nothing there but then he digs in with the wet wipes. He said the second shot of water gets it all out. Robin said it's like giving yourself an enema. Howard said the Japanese invented something with that Toto. He said they're standard in Japan.

  Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said She watched the Letterman and Obama interview and it was so dark and She didn't see it. She said she's trying to figure out how to see Howard's interview. Howard said there is no location yet. He said that's why there are no tickets. Howard said just this past week they narrowed down a date with him. He said he can't say what it is. He said they have to find a place to do it. Mariann said that he should do it in the studio and invite the fans down. Mariann started freaking out so Howard played a song parody about her and hung up on her.

  Howard took a call from a woman who said she's glad he's talking about politics. She said he backs it up with facts and that's what should be done. She said She appreciates his opinion. She said She likes that he talked about running for governor and why he pulled out.

  Howard said he's tired of people complaining about Trump because under 55 percent of the country went out and voted. Howard said don't complain if you didn't vote. Howard said if you don't like what's going on with Trump them go register to vote and get out to the polls and vote. Howard said people are waiting for Trump to get thrown out of office. He said that's not how it works. He said get registered and stop with your bullshit. Robin said this weekend it was about Trump being a racist. Howard said he asked someone if they voted when he was complaining and he didn't vote. Howard said if you're upset then go vote.

  Howard said Trump is being Trump and if you don't like it then vote him out. Howard said some of the guys there voted for Trump. He said you have to get out and vote if you don't like it. Howard said you can't rely on Mueller to take him down. Howard said he has to go through everything he did in his life to investigate him. Howard asked where you were when the vote occurred. Howard said you've got all the power in the world. Howard said get out and vote for a democratic congress and senate and they'll go for impeachment.

  Howard said it's enough already. He said he was the most honest candidate and he told everyone what was going to do. He said he was going to kick Mexicans out and build the wall. Howard said he told everyone about this. He said that he called Mexicans rapists. He said he was honest about it. Howard said people are nuts.

  Robin said that Congressman Lewis was talking about how he's a racist. Robin asked what you're going to do about it now. Howard said you have to vote. He said you get to vote every 4 years. Howard said get out and vote, it's so simple.

  Howard said Billy Joel was great on the Beatles channel. Robin said She missed that. Howard said they'll probably replay it. Howard said he'll get to that later. He had to take a break. He did a live commercial read and went to break a short time later.

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• Billy Joel Beatles Special And More Phone Calls. 01/15/18. 7:50am
  After the break Howard came right back and brought up the Billy Joel special on the Beatles channel. Howard said he was talking about a song the Beatles did, In My Life, with a piano solo. He said Billy was saying when they recorded that when they were in the studio George Martin played the piano. He said in order to play it so fast they took the song to half speed. He said they played it slow and then sped it up. He said Billy didn't know that and he learned it at full speed. He said it's a really hard thing to play. Howard said Billy had to learn it at full speed and not half speed.

  Robin said She remembers Joe Walsh telling a similar story. She said She was learning Beatles song and he wasn't able to figure out how George was playing it. Fred said it was a dual lead and it was two guys playing it. Robin said Joe learned how to play it.

  Howard said Billy played this part on piano. He said it was great. Fred was trying to find the part of the song he was talking about. He played some of it for Howard. Howard said that's the part that Billy played.

  Robin said Peter Asher does a show on the Beatles channel and he was playing songs with women's names in them. He said he didn't know anything about the songs he was playing.

  Howard took a call from Chad in St. Louis who said he was reading a story about Aziz Ansari and he's wondering if Howard thinks he was just a guy trying to get laid or what. Howard said he read that article yesterday and at first he wasn't sure. He said this stuff is he said, She said. He said it's unfair to comment on this stuff. Robin said this is off the topic of sexual harassment that has to do with jobs and careers.

  Howard said he read something this morning that gave him more clarity. Howard said this woman says She was on a date with Aziz and one thing leads to another and he kept asking her for sex. Howard said She was reluctant and he put two of his fingers in her mouth. Howard said he's not sure where guys get that from. He said people don't like this crap. Robin said no one wants to gag when they're giving a blow job either. Howard said you have to separate reality from fantasy. Howard said at the end of a porno when a woman gets a load on her face they don't like that either. Howard said no one wants that.

  Howard said porn is cartoon. He said it's guys who are dreaming about the hottest chick on the planet. He said that porn is like a cartoon to help you jerk off. Howard said with the Aziz thing he thought he was kind of down to earth when he met him. Howard said this woman talks about how he kept chasing her around the room sticking his fingers in her mouth. Howard said this is right up there with showing your cock to a woman. Howard said this woman wasn't that interested but he kept hassling this woman. He said She gave him a blow job after the hassling. Howard said when he read about it he thought he was asking over and over again. Howard said it seems to him that Aziz apologized and said he understood. Robin said he said he misread the situation. Howard said it's a murky situation. He said he can't imagine meeting a girl and sticking his fingers in her mouth.

  Chad asked if She could have left at some point. Howard and Robin said they weren't there. Howard said She feels like She was pressured but he's not sure. Robin said they don't know if She could have left. Howard said he talks to his wife about this stuff all the time. He said she's been in situations like this. He said in some of the stories She has She got out of the room and that was the end of it. Howard said everyone isn't that lucky. He said he didn't know this was going on so much.

  Robin said She and a guy wrestled for about an hour once. She said She thought he got the point that She didn't want it but then he'd jump on her again. Howard said you can't be near Robin and not be turned on. Robin said that's what this Aziz thing sounded like to her. Howard said there you go. Howard asked why She didn't leave. Robin said it was her room. Howard asked if She had sex with that guy. Robin said She did not. Robin said this guy wanted to go further but She didn't want to. She said they may have done 15 rounds of wrestling.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he's all about Trump today. Howard said he's not. Howard said what he's saying is that people who don't like Trump are pinning their hopes and dreams on Mueller. Howard said if they really wanted Trump out they would have voted. The caller said he voted. Howard said he has to get out of this. He hung up on the guy. Howard asked why he only gets calls from idiots. He asked what's going on.

• Ronnie More Sexed Up Than Usual. 01/15/18. 8:05am
  Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he has ever thought about doing a Ronnie origin story. Howard said yes. He said they have 3 ideas on the table regarding Ronnie. He said they were thinking of doing a realty show. He said they just have to put a camera on him. He said the other thing is to write a movie of the week. He said it would be the Ronnie story. Howard said they could get Seth Rogen to play Ronnie. He said that would be more expensive. Howard said that they have to pay Rogen like $5000. He said they don't have that in their budget. Howard said he's going to ask Jane Fonda if she'll play Ronnie's mom. He said the other thing was to do an animated special with Ronnie's sex scene as the starting point. Robin said she's trying to imagine Seth looking under the door to see his parents. Howard said they could do a musical too. Howard said there's a lot of talk about this lately.

  Howard said Ronnie is out there showing people porn on his phone today. He said he has told him to stand there like a wall but he refuses. Howard said he's showing porn on his phone. Robin said last time he did that he showed some disgusting thing. Howard asked Jason what's' going on out there.

  Jason came in and said that he showed some chick getting rammed doggy style. Howard asked if someone tells him he should be standing there doing nothing. Gary said he was recommending that he look at something called Cum Swallower.

  Howard said he has a song that Ronnie could sing in the musical. He had Ronnie singing about wet cunt. Howard said these songs are already written so he's not making this up on the spot. Howard said these are real songs.

  Gary said the guys think he might be more sexed up than usual because Jane Fonda is coming in. Howard said he wants to know what's going on. He called Ronnie in. Ronnie came in and said he was showing Shuli something about how you can watch porn all day long on Twitter. Howard said he doesn't get it.

  Howard said he was watching a couple of ex Navy SEAL's and they don't do this kind of thing. Howard said Ronnie should be stealth like that. Howard asked if he watches that SEAL Team show. Ronnie said he does. Howard asked if he can control himself. Ronnie said he was showing Shuli that you can see porn all day long. Howard asked why he can't stop doing this. Ronnie said he doesn't know. Jason said you can hear it blasting. Gary said he could hear it out in the green room. Ronnie said he wasn't in the green room.

  Jason said that Ronnie is not going to change. He said he's just like Trump. He said that he won't change. Howard said he was hoping for a pivot. Ronnie said he can control it. Robin said he doesn't seem like he can. Ronnie said he's not talking to her. Robin said it lasts like 2 weeks and then it disappears.

  Howard said he feels that Ronnie will turn 70 and he'll mature. He said he'll suddenly mature. Howard said he knows the guys enjoy each other out there. He said it's not a social club though. Ronnie said he's not in a social club. Howard asked if it ever goes through his mind that maybe he shouldn't be showing him the porn. Ronnie said no. He said it was a spur of the moment thing. Robin said something and Ronnie said he's not talking to her. He said he's talking to Howard.

  Howard asked if he thinks it was a bad idea to show it to Shuli. Ronnie said he doesn't know. Howard said Jason thinks it's funny that he keeps expecting him to change. Ronnie said he is capable of change. Howard said Ronnie thinks he's like a cop but he's really not like that. Ronnie said that they don't know what's going on behind the scenes with guys lie that. He said they might be doing stuff like that too. Howard said they work out and prepare for their jobs. Howard said it is hard for an old perverted dog to learn new tricks. Howard said he could be a man of mystery.

  Robin said She was talking to an ex-Navy SEAL and he runs a company and after you get that training you can do anything. Robin said you're so focused and you're so right on with whatever you need to do that you can learn the rest of that stuff and do it excellent. Ronnie said maybe She could do that too.

  Ronnie said he has to go down to get their guests. Howard said he knows Ronnie likes Jason Statham but that guy doesn't say a word. He said he's a strong silent type. Howard said he's waiting for Ronnie to be like that. He went to break after that.

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• Howard Needs Guy Friends To Get Into Football. 01/15/18. 8:20am
  After the break Howard came right back and said they're live today. He said they're normally off but they came in for you. Howard said he doesn't watch football but everyone was carrying on about these games. Robin said she's waiting for the Super Bowl to get into it. Howard said Jon Hein is a big Steelers fan. He said Gary told him that they lost to the Jaguars. Howard said it's so funny. He said he feels like he's not fitting in. He said Snoop Dogg tweets during the games. He played some audio of Snoop talking about the game and getting all upset about it. Howard said he has to get into it like this. Howard played more of the audio of Snoop and said if FOX hired him to call the games he'd listen.

  Howard said he's so not a guy. He said he and Beth were talking about it this weekend. He said he was thinking of getting some male friends and doing this kind of stuff. He said Beth thought that was a good idea but he likes being with her so he doesn't want that. Howard said he doesn't want to talk about stuff he doesn't care about.

  Howard played some audio of an angry Steelers fan freaking out after they lost. Howard said he has to start doing stuff like that. This guy was saying he was going to kill himself after the Steelers lost. Robin asked if he thinks they care if he's hanging from the bathroom. Howard said that's what you should sound like after having sex. Howard said he can't even sound like that.

  Howard played another clip of a sports guy calling a game and freaking out. Howard laughed. He said the guy can't even believe it. Howard said that was an amazing end to a game. He said this is why he can't be a guy. He said this is a Vikings fan. Howard played the clip of the guy yelling and said he can't yell like that. Howard said this is what you do when Jesus returns and is standing in front of you.

  Howard said he has to hang out with some guys. Robin asked how he missed all of this. Howard said he never watched sports with his dad. He said they went to one Mets game and they both hated it. Howard said his dad said he just ate there. He said then he had to go to the bathroom and it was humiliating.

  Howard said his dad wanted him to fill out a score card but he was 5 years old and didn't know what to do. He said sports became a nightmare for him. He said he watched the Knicks back in the day and he would watch that. He said he enjoyed basketball back then. He said he got into talking about that a little bit but not like this. Howard said he's not going to scream about a game.

  Howard played a couple more clips of announcers freaking out over game wins. Howard had a Spanish guy and a Russian guy calling games. The Russian guy didn't get excited. Howard said they get excited when they can eat. Howard said he asked a woman about why people like Putin and She said it's because people get food now. Howard said people don't hate him because of that.

  Howard said that Russian announcing is so odd. He said it sounds like Klingon. Robin said they don't use the same alphabet. Robin said things are turned upside down. Howard said he's not sure how that's a language. He said it sounds like a backwards tape. He replayed the clip and did an impression of what it sounds like.

  Howard played another game being called where the announcer freaks out. Howard said he just can't sound like that. The guy was yelling. Howard said it's pretty crazy. Robin said it is. She said at least they're getting paid to do that. Robin said it's amazing when people do it in their house. Howard said there you have it.

  Robin said their whole industry is built up around this. Howard said Spanish radio gets worked up about American football. Howard played a clip of a Spanish announcer getting excited about a touchdown. Howard said this is the Russians calling the same game and they don't get excited. Howard said no one gives a fuck there.

  Howard said they get worked up over food and toilet paper. Howard said they get really excited over a piece of stale bread they find in the street.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been with him since the 80s in Hartford. He asked if he could have grown up and been a stud athlete and watching football now would he trade that for being a celebrity. Howard said he would have loved to have had a good childhood. He said he would have loved being an athlete. Howard said no one took notice of him. He said he could have cultivated some talent or something when he was young. Howard said he would have been better off being raised by wolves. He said they take care of their young. Howard said everything about his early life was misery. He had no clue about what he was doing. He said he felt useless and worthless. He said he was clueless in college about what he was supposed to do there. He said he only wanted to be in radio because his father was in that business. Howard said there was nothing pleasant about his first radio job. He said he was awful at it. He played the same records over and over again and he was brocading to no one while making $96 a week.

  Howard said he got to Hartford and things were even worse. He said he had to be funny and do all of this work. He said it was as if God needed to intervene and help him. Howard said he was a neurotic mess. He said it was pressure and it was horrible. He said there was nothing pleasant about it. He said then he got to Detroit and all hell broke loose. Howard said no one cared about him in Hartford. Howard said he was doing this job to get people to listen and then these guys would call him into the office and give him a hard time.

  Howard said then he went to Detroit and he'd tell people what he did for a living and they didn't know the station still existed. Howard said he remembers being in blizzards and going to work. He said he had to wipe the snow from his care and he couldn't afford snow tires. Howard said he was up at 2 in the morning to work at 6 and then he'd work and get yelled at.

  The caller asked when the FCC issues started. Howard said it was at WNBC in 1981. He said then the pressure was really bad. He said he didn't know if he was going to last and then the FCC was after him for saying that some guy was playing the piano with his penis. Howard said no one was even doing that. He said he just talked about it. Howard said the country was a mess and this is what they were worried about. Howard said the religious right was after him and the whole thing was horrible. He said it gives him the shakes. He said that's why he won't watch that movie he made. Howard said he really has to take a break because his hero Jane Fonda is there. Howard said he is the lucky one. He said he made it because he's nuts. Robin said She had a group of friends who were trying to figure out how to make a living. Howard asked why he wasn't invited. Robin said he wasn't in town. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.

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• Jane Fonda And Lily Tomlin Visit. 01/15/18. 8:45am
  After the break they played a Bobo song parody, a phony phone call to a Swap and Shop show where Sal and Richard asked them to play The Goat Song over and over, a clip of Wolfie interviewing Juggalos at their March in Washington DC, a man on the street interview bit, Van Halen covering The Who's ''Won't Get Fooled Again.''

  Howard came back and said he was watching some Van Halen stuff this weekend. He said Eddie Van Halen really is the greatest. Howard said he has Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin there. He said they're in their fourth season if Grace and Frankie on Netflix. Howard said this is crazy seeing the two of them together. Howard said he has to stare at them for a minute. Howard introduced them to Robin.

  Howard said hi to Lily. Howard said he has to address Jane Fonda. Howard said she's his hero. He said he doesn't have a lot of heroes. He said he remembers growing up in high school and he has rehearsed this in his mind 50,000 times. He said he never thought he'd get to meet her. Howard said it's important for him to say this. Howard said he felt uncared for in high school. He said he's not sure anyone gave a shit about him. He said he was afraid he was going to end up in the Vietnam war. He said he didn't know what that would mean. He said he didn't know what it meant to go over and fight someone who had done nothing to him. He said he would have had a nervous breakdown. Howard said he didn't know what he was going to do.

  Howard said Jane was a big star and winning awards and She was out there taking a stand. Howard said it wasn't a button She was wearing at the Academy Awards. He said She went over and spoke out. Howard said She took on Nixon and LBJ. Howard said it could have cost her a career. Howard said that someone cares about him and She was that person. Howard said he could have been killed in Vietnam. Howard said She cared so much. He said his daughter lived in Hanoi for a couple of years and said the people there are lovely. Howard said it was all nonsense. He thanked her from the bottom of his heart for caring about him and people who do this. Howard said she's magnificent. Howard thanked her so much for doing that.

  Jane thanked Howard. She said he can't know what that means. Howard said She should be president, never mind Oprah. Robin said She has never heard him so emotional. Jane wanted to hug him but She couldn't get to him. Jane asked why Robin is behind glass. Robin said she's afraid of Howard.

  Lily said She was crazy about Jane at that time too. She said She never got it. She said She wasn't able to get her a letter. She said She wanted to do shows with her back then. She said She made a feeble attempt to get to her. Jane said She wishes She had known at the time.

  Howard said that they have won awards but do they mean anything to them. Jane said the Academy Award meant something to her. Howard asked why She didn't make a speech when She won for ''Klute.'' Jane said there was so much to say and her father told her to just say that and they'd know what She meant. She said She thinks they were glad She didn't spout off.

  Robin said She loves Grace and Frankie. Howard said they deal with a lot on that show. Howard said they are getting older. Howard said he hit 60 and he goes to the gym and he gets aches and pains. He asked if they work out. Jane said every day. She said She works out with a trainer. She said it's totally different than it used to be. She said it's a functional work out. She said you want to be able to look behind you when you pull out of a spot. She said if you do it gently and slowly when you're older the aches and pains go away.

  Howard said he feels like he should be able to do this stuff but he can't. Jane said She has gone a long time without doing anything. She said She just does it slowly and intentionally.

  Howard asked Lily if She works out. Lily said She does but not as intensely as She used to. She said She tries to squat a lot. Robin said her brain doesn't seem to have gotten any older. Robin said She still thinks like She always did. Jane said She thinks better. Robin said She thinks She should be able to do those things. She said nothing has changed up there. Lily said She thinks her thinking has failed her.

  Howard said they both have such interesting lives. Howard said he likes to follow that. Howard said Lily grew up in Detroit and She must not have thought She could do this. Lily said She went into Pre-med at some point very briefly. Lily said She has to fix Jane's lip. Jane said She had some cancer taken off. Howard asked if She laid in the sun a lot. Jane said that Lily has been in show business her whole life. She said She was on a bar singing for her father's friends. Lily said She liked it. She said it was sort of fun. Lily said that Mark Harmon's wife Pam Dawber asked her if She can sing on the bar. She said her grand father used to go to the bar when She was singing. She knew about that from him.

  Howard asked if there was a lot of sadness in her life. Lily said that She did a piece about it later in life. She said her father was a drunk but a morose drunk. She said he lost his mom when he was 10 years old. She said he'd go to the track and he'd go with him. Howard said that's great. He said that his father didn't want him around him.

  Howard said Jane's life was the opposite. Howard said her life was the worst. Jane said it wasn't that bad. Howard said her dad was Henry Fonda. Jane said that everyone was distant from the mid-west. Howard said her dad didn't kiss her because he was afraid of germs. Jane said he just had issues. Howard said She had to put him in a movie to get noticed. Howard said he had to do all of this radio stuff to get attention from his dad.

  Howard asked Jane if they had to dig into her lip to get this cancer thing out. Jane said they did have to dig in there. Howard thanked her for coming in because they must have just done it recently. Jane said she's going to be fine. Howard said the message is to just not sit in the sun. Howard said no one was looking at him back in those days so he didn't need to get sun.

  Jane said that Howard is very handsome. She said he and Leonard Cohen. Howard thanked her for that.

  Howard asked if they hang out together outside of work. Jane said they do. She said they were just up in San Francisco doing a benefit. She said they are fighting for one fair wage in restaurants. Howard asked when She lost her mom. Jane said She was 12. Her mother committed suicide. Howard said he thought her step mother wasn't so great but Jane said She was. She said her dad told her things to tell her and She didn't do it. Howard asked if She feels like She had a bad childhood. Jane said She didn't.

  Howard said it must be much better not having to try to live up to a name like Fonda. Howard said Lily was doing stand up and She did characters. Howard said She was a bookkeeper in New York. Howard asked if she's good at math. Lily said no but She can add up digits fast. She said She worked for a woman who started ICM.

  Howard said back in those days it had to be hard to be a stand up. Lily said She didn't think about it. Howard asked if She was nervous on stage. Lily said She was. She said She got up at the Improv and it was scary. She said Joan Rivers was starting out around that time too. She said She would go watch the show when Joan was doing her thing. She said She was already making it on Carson. Howard said She didn't have a lot of women to follow. Lily said She couldn't follow Joan but She appreciated her.

  Howard asked Lily about going on stage and what She did. Lily said She would go up and just be herself. She said She was going up and doing this stuff and She had a good feeling that She was doing it right.

  Howard said he heard that Lily walked into Gary Moore and did a tap dancing thing and taped the taps to the bottoms of her feet. Howard said that's funny. Howard asked if Jane finds that funny. Jane asked if She did it on purpose. Howard said She did. He said that's brilliant. Jane said She has no sense of humor so that's why She likes Lily. Lily said She was supposed to be Wonder Woman. She said She went in to do this test. Lily said that they did this show at the Ed Sullivan theater. She said She went to see the writers for this show and they asked if She does any impressions. She said She didn't do any but She did characters. Lily said it was like Jesus put his hand on her shoulder and She came up with the barefoot tap dance thing. She said She came on that show and did that. Lily said She did the barefoot tap dance thing and got paid $750 to do it. She said She was making about $95 a week at the time.

  Howard said at the same time Jane is modeling and then becomes an actress. Howard asked if her dad wondered what She was doing. Howard asked where She went to audition because they expected her to be Henry Fonda. Jane said She doesn't know. She said that it wasn't any weirder for her than anyone else. She said maybe She got in to audition easier because of who She was. Jane said She did a screen test for Josh Logan and She was put under contract and Warren Beatty went on to stardom. Howard said he was some womanizer. He asked if he was one of those guys She fell in love with. Jane said She was his friend. She said he'd bring her to piano bars. She said She thought he was gay. She said he cried so hard and played piano and had a lot of gay friends. She said She thought he was gay. Jane said She was fascinated with what he was doing every night.

  Howard said he would think being Jane Fonda would be a burden but it wasn't. Jane said it was a blessing. Robin asked where She learned to act. Jane said She went to Lee Strasberg. She said She learned a lot there.

  Howard said She did the movie ''Klute'' and She studied with prostitutes for that role. Jane said She asked the director where to go. She said She asked if She could get with some call girls and madams. She said She hung out for a week. She said She heard stories. She said it was so sad because everyone of them had lost their soul. She said there was a lack of life force. Jane said She didn't think She could do the movie and they should replace her with Faye Dunaway. Howard said She didn't think She could go to that dark place. Howard asked how they convinced her to stay in that role. Jane said She was laughed out of the office. Howard asked if She felt She was feeling like She was doing it. Jane said She didn't know. Jane said She knew a Madam in France who had some high end prostitutes who became her friends. She said She kind of thought about them.

  Howard said you think about turning down things like Lily almost turning down 9 to 5. Howard said Lily almost turned down Laugh In. Howard said Goldie Hawn broke out from that show. Howard said She turned it down. Lily said She thought the show was too square and She didn't think it would work. Howard said She got to do characters on the show. Lily said She went on Music Scene first and that got canceled.

  Howard said they had Goldie Hawn on the show and he can see why She would think it wouldn't work. Lily said they had so many great people on Music Scene. She said She met Janis Joplin there. Howard said that show kind of tanked. Lily said it was the parents who didn't like seeing the long hairs. She said She went in mid season on Laugh In. She said George Schlatter kept asking her to do it.

  Howard asked Lily about doing Ernestine on Laugh In and how She was a big hit. Lily said She didn't realize it and people were snorting like She was doing and She didn't even know what She was doing. Howard said it's amazing to see. Howard asked if She can watch her own stuff and learn from it. Lily said She can. Jane said She can watch the dailies but not go back and watch stuff.

  Lily said that Ernestine grew and grew. She said She did a thing on Carson with Joan Rivers about how it was Ernestine that got nominated for an Emmy. Howard said you have to buy into the character being real.

  Howard said Lily knew Lorne Michaels. Howard said She won a Grammy for her Ernestine album. Howard said She knew Richard Pryor too. Howard said CBS gave her specials and She asked Richard to do the specials. Lily said She arranged to meet him and he took her to the neighborhood and the people there loved her. She said She thinks She was accepted there as much as any white girl was. Howard said it has to be special going there with Richard Pryor. Lily said he liked that the people liked her. She said then he took her to a porno movie. She said She would go but She was paying her own way. Howard said working with him must have been mind blowing. Lily said it was. She said they did a thing where She did Edith Ann and he did his little boy. She said that the suits were just beside themselves. Lily said She wanted them to just keep an iso on him. Lily said it was brilliant stuff Richard was doing.

  Lily said She was writing with this woman and She ended up falling in love with her. Howard said that it's a great thing to fall in love with the person you're writing with. Howard said that's a powerful team. Lily said it's been 47 years they've been together now. Howard asked if She would get jealous when She would go off and do stuff with other people. Lily said that didn't happen.

  Howard asked Jane if She turned down Bonnie and Clyde. Jane said it wasn't offered to her. She said that Warren talked to her about it for many years. Howard asked if She gets upset seeing the movie. She said no. Jane said that Faye was great in it. Howard asked if She turned down Rosemary's Baby. Jane said she's not sure but She would have. She said She doesn't like those kind of movies. She said She turned down the Exorcist.

  Howard said he loved ''Get Out.'' Jane said She did too. She said that She was white knuckled but She laughed at a scene. She said She wasn't sure how he did that. Lily said She didn't like cartoons when She was growing up. She said it was too mean. Howard said that's how his mother was. She said She felt like Carson was mean and nasty and She refused to watch him. Howard said he had such dislike for him because of that. Howard said he still doesn't know why his mom didn't like Carson.

  Howard said the movie Barbarella is one that Jane hates. Jane said She doesn't hate it now. She said that She did when the feminism thing was going on. She said that She thought it was kind of camp and funny. Howard said he went to see it as a young boy. Howard said he kept seeing if his dad was getting excited about it. Howard said he didn't want to be there with his father in the theater. Jane said a lot of young boys saw it and got their first erections from it. She said She likes that.

  Howard asked Jane if it was tough to worry about her looks all this time. Howard said you have to worry so much about other actresses. Jane said that started from her dad. She said She felt like if She didn't look good no one would love her. She said her father had a hard time with you if you didn't look a certain way. Howard asked what you do if you're not beautiful. Howard said it's tough. Jane said it was hard.

  Robin asked if he was different with her brother. Jane said he wanted him to be a macho guy. She said it was different with him. Howard said her father sounds like he was touch on everyone. She said if Prozac had existed then they would have all been different.

  Howard asked Jane if she's for psychotherapy. She said she's all for doing whatever you have to do. Howard said he thinks everyone should go through it. Lily said She did some therapy. Jane said She did that for a while too. She said that relational therapy is different. Howard said he would think She needs it as some sort of outlet. Howard said She might go insane. Jane said that's debatable.

  Howard said Jane turned down a movie because She wanted to be Coming Home and She won an Oscar for that. Jane said She was pregnant and She was at an anti war rally with a vet and he said that he had lost his body but gained his mind. Jane said She made Coming Home after that. Howard said She produced that and 9 to 5 too. Jane said that wasn't going to be a comedy at first. She said She saw Lily in a movie and it knocked her off her feet. She said She wasn't going to make a movie about secretaries unless She was in it. She said She heard Dolly Parton singing and She thought it would be so great to do it with the three of them.

  Howard said Lily turned her down for years. Jane said even after they started shooting Lily wanted out. Lily said She was watching the stuff they were shooting and they were doing the animated parts and they didn't have any animation in it. She said that it was hard to see what was going to be in there. Jane said you have to take leaps of faith.

  Howard said that Jane had a string of hits. Howard said just look at what She did. Jane said She had a lot of bad ones too. Howard asked Lily if She was taken by surprise when She was a hit. Lily said She didn't know how hard it was going to be going from TV to film. She said She took it for granted.

  Howard said Jane did a bunch of great movies and then did the Jane Fonda Workout thing. Lily said She was offered the job doing the workout film first. She said She hated the part about the prostitute. Jane said She thought She was kidding that She was offered that part. Lily said She wasn't kidding. She said that Jane became a workout maven after that.

  Lily said that you never see the girl's face in the movie and She didn't want to be part of that. She said She dodged that.

  Jane said She broke her foot when She made The China Syndrome. She said She started working out in a different way for the bikini scene and that's how that all happened. Howard asked if She thinks that She was the reason VCRs sold. Jane said yes. She said she's the only non-engineer in the video hall of fame. Howard said he tried to do the work out thing at home but he has to go somewhere to do that stuff.

  Howard said that Lily also turned down Barbarella. Jane said actually Brigitte Bardot turned it down. Jane said She became friends with Brigitte.

  Howard said Lily got to work with Steve Martin. Howard said that must have been great. Lily said She loved working with him. Howard said they get to work with these great people and he assumes they keep those friendships. Howard said you do the movie and then move on though. Jane said yeah. Robin said sometimes Jane worked with people several times. Jane said She did work with Robert Redford 4 times.

  Howard asked Jane about speaking sign language when She got an Oscar. Jane said She got pissed that hey didn't do the show in closed caption so She lost it and did that.

  Howard asked if her career was hurt when She was a social activist. Jane said She doesn't know. She said acting has been a part of her life but not her only thing. She said She was doing so many other things at the time that She didn't notice. Jane said there was no black list but maybe there was a grey list. She said that She was never really a hippy. Howard said She was in a way. She said not at all. Jane said She went to India in 1969 and She came back and activist and not a hippy.

  Howard said he can point to just a few people who are heroes to him and Jane is one. He said that having her there on Martin Luther King day is like having him in there. Jane said when She turned 80 She thought that she'd learn to garden or something. She said She can't do that. Howard asked how it is being 80. Jane said one good thing is that people don't grope her. She said She never really had that problem. Robin said She thought She read that She lost a job because She reused to sleep with the director or something. Jane said She was asked what her orgasm would look like and She laughed. She said She was let go.

  Howard said She was molested as a child. Jane said She was. Howard said She was left in the care of nannies and people like that. Jane said it affects your whole life. She said you spend a lot of time trying to get over it. Howard said her mother was having her problems at the time and this babysitter's boyfriend molested Jane. Howard said that affects you the rest of your life. Jane said it does. She said they work with this organization of restaurant workers and this is why they're working on it. She said that sexual harassment is cut in half when the workers don't have to worry about tips. Howard said he gets that.

  Howard asked why Jane cares so much about people. He said She could sit back and do nothing. Jane said you get to the end of your life and you think a lot about this. She said She doesn't want to go out with regrets. She said She grew up with her father's movies. She said he made these great movies but he may not have spoken that much. Jane said they are racing against time now with climate change. She said we have to be nice to each other. She said we have too many people on this planet.

  Howard said Jane and Lily are in their fourth season of Grace and Frankie. Howard asked how they like it over there. They love it. Howard asked about the show and who is in charge of it. Jane said Marta Kaufman thought they wanted to work together again. Lily said they have a great crew and cast over there. She said that they like having a steady income too. Jane said there is something nice about pulling through the Paramount gates every day.

  Howard said he didn't know how much Jane produced. Howard said She did On Golden Pond 2. Howard said you'd think that her father would have run into Katherine Hepburn before that but he had met her on the set. Jane said they ran in different circles. She said he did a lot of theater. Robin asked if She liked doing theater. Jane said She did 4 and She didn't like one of them. Jane said She did a play years later and loved it. Howard asked it was the repetition that did it. Jane said it was about the pressure of being at 200 percent. Howard said Lily is looking at her like she's nuts. Jane said She admires what She does so much.

  Howard said Lily won two Tony awards. Howard said She likes Broadway. Lily said She went to see Bette's final show last night. Howard asked why Jane didn't go. Jane said She just came in last night. Howard said Bette Midler is great. Howard said he hates sitting in a theater. Howard said he can't do it. He said his knees hurt being scrunched into that chair. Howard said he doesn't go out drinking during the play. He said he might have one glass of wine at night. He said he's a bore.

  Howard asked if Jane smokes wed. Jane said She does just to sleep. She said her doctor prescribed a vape thing and she's out after 4 hits. Howard asked if She gets paranoid from it. Jane said no. She said if it's not good maybe. Howard asked Lily if She smokes. Lily said She has. Jane gave her a vape thing. She said it has ''sleep'' written on the box. Lily said it makes her throat react because She has asthma.

  Howard said they offered Lily the cover of a magazine but only if She came out as gay. Lily said that's true. She said they were just fishing around trying to find a gay person. Howard sake if She was insulted by that. Lily said She was. Howard said he'd be outraged. Lily said She was insulted by it. She said no one has ever asked her that. Howard said of course She was insulted. Lily said She got on the cover a year later without that. She said She was going to be on both Time and Newsweek but Newsweek found out and pulled it. She said that one piece talked about her sharing a house with Jane Wagner and the other said She lived alone. She said back in those days they didn't talk about that stuff. She said that was back in 1975. Howard said he likes where we're going with this gay thing but they have to get over it. Howard said two people love each other and that's it. Howard said get over it.

  Howard said if Time wants to put him on the cover he'll admit that he's gay. He said he'll come out right now.

  Howard gave them another plug for Grace and Frankie. Howard said it's a comedy but also reality based. Howard said now they've said something. Robin talked about how wonderful the show is and how it's not just joke, joke, joke. She said it's an evolution. Jane said it's great to play friends in it.

  Howard asked how it is learning the scripts and if they can do it quick. Lily said She can do it. Lily said that She tries to keep her lines spontaneous. Jane asked if she's too mechanical. Lily said not at all. She said that She works slowly to the perfection of the language.

  Jane said that Lily will forget her lines and not know what she's doing. She said that when She sees it it's brilliant. She said She could kill her. She said the retakes can kill her at times. Howard asked what Lily is going to do about that. Lily said it's just not true that they do the retakes because of her. Howard said at 80 you can't be killing time like that. Howard asked how long it takes to do a scene. Jane said it varies.

  Howard said Lily must have a nice sedate life while Jane is out there dating or something. Jane said she's not doing that. Lily said that Jane is just weeks out of relationship. Jane said it's been a year and she's never going to date again. She said she's never lonely and never bored. Howard said he is never bored either. He said he has so many interests and he wants to explore the world still. He said he's still interested in it. Robin said the world has to be in his house though.

  Howard asked Jane about Ted Turner and if She still likes him. Jane said they are still friends. Robin asked how that happens. Jane said if you fall in love with someone you fell for a reason. She said Ted is a hoot. She said that you get over the anger after some time.

  Lily asked Jane about when he came to her birthday party. She said that was her 80th. Lily said he has 5 kids and they're like her own. Lily said they got up and spoke in such a deep way and they all love her. Jane said She knew how to be a good step mother.

  Howard said he thought going to the Braves games was torture. Jane said She likes baseball. She said that her kids grew up thinking Tommy Lasorda was their uncle. Howard asked if there were Hollywood stars coming and going from her house. Jane said not at all. She said Greta Garbo showed up and went swimming naked with her. She said She was about 15 at the time. Howard asked if She got it on with her. Jane said not at all. Jane said She went skinny dipping with Michael Jackson once. Howard said he would never do that. He said he has cellulite. Howard said enough about him though. Jane said that brought the show to a halt.

  Howard said he could talk to them all day long. He asked Jane if She ever tried any of the dating apps. Jane said no. Howard asked if guys were always hitting on her. Jane said She was always married. Howard asked how a guy asks you out. Jane said when Tom broke it off with her She got a call from a guy asking her out and it was Ted. She said that She was going through a nervous breakdown and She needed 6 months. Howard said when guys break up they date that night. Jane said Ted called 6 months to the day later. Jane said She went out to a restaurant and She was wearing high heels and a leather top. Jane said he looked her up and down and he said ''I know a lot of communists too.'' Jane said She didn't know what he was talking about. Jane said She went totally berserk. Howard said he would have taken her hiking and played it differently. Howard said they'd get some dinner and then they'd go to bed and she'd be disappointed.

  Howard asked Lily if She was enticed to date anyone else. Howard said people must have come on to her. Lily said She didn't encourage it. She said She was never tempted.

  Howard asked Lily how She met her wife Jane Wagner. Lily told Howard that She had a party one night and She went over there. She said She doesn't like talking about this. She said that She fell for Jane that night. Lily said that it was love at first sight. Lily said She never watched Laugh In. Howard said She had to have watched it. Howard said maybe She was just saying that. Lily said now he has her thinking. Lily said She didn't fly and She had to go do performances. She said She would take the train but then She hopped on a plane to go see Jane. She said Jane took her to an airport and they watched planes taking off and She pointed out that it was narcissistic to think her plane was the one that was going to go down.

  Howard asked Jane and Lily if they believe in god. Jane said She thinks so. Howard asked where he's going to be when he dies. Jane said She contacts her parents and others through mediums. Howard said Houdini proved that they don't work. Howard said Houdini said he would give his wife the word through a medium if they were real. Howard said none of them ever came up with that word.

  Howard asked Lily what She thinks about that. Lily said She feels dismal about what's coming. Howard asked Jane if she's scared. Jane said no. Howard said he is. Lily said She has lost so many people. She said She was left cats from people who died. She said She didn't know She was getting the cats. Howard said that's horrible. Jane said that one person died unexpectedly. She said She got 2 cats. Howard said he has 30 cats in his house but they rescue. Howard said they only have 5 resident cats.

  Howard asked if they think they're at least leaving a legacy behind. Lily said that doesn't give her consolation. Jane said She has great children and grandchildren. She said that's her legacy.

  Howard asked if they will take his cats if he dies. Howard asked if he should just will them to Lily. Howard said when he dies she's going to get 30 cats. Lily said he will probably outlive her. Howard said he doesn't know about that.

  Howard gave Jane and Lily plugs for Grace and Frankie. Robin said that the show is incredibly funny. Howard said if the show was no good Robin would throw them right out. Howard said he hopes Jane's skin cancer thing isn't serious. He wishes her another 100 years. Robin asked what it was like for her working with Marlon Brando. Jane said it was unusual. She said that She did The Chase with him. She said She loved him a lot but She knew about his life growing up and how tough that was. She said you go in and wok with him and it's totally different. She said you're thrown off balance. She said maybe that's why it worked so well.

  Howard wrapped up and gave them more plugs before going to break. He said he would love to keep them in all day but he knows he can't.

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• Robin's News. 01/15/18. 10:30am
  After the break Howard came right back and said there you have it with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin. Howard said he never thought he'd be in the room with Jane Fonda. He said that he had to say what he said to her. Howard said look at Fred. He was in the room too. Robin asked if Fred had a draft number. Fred said he did. He said thank god Gerald Ford ended it. Howard said he never thought he'd be in the room with Jane and Lily but Fred was in there too. Howard said he's surprised that Fred wasn't asked to leave. Howard said it was very gracious of them not to ask him to leave.

  Robin said She was supposed to go on vacation with Marta Kaufman last year but She had to cancel. Howard had Fred play some of Robin's news music while She talked about that. Howard said just the thought of that vacation makes him think of that music.

  Howard played Robin into her news with a song parody about her. Howard said that parody brings up a #MeToo moment. He said it's very graphic images. Robin said that She could do without that.

  Howard said JD played a clip of Eric Clapton on the BBC and he was thinking about how great Cream was. He said that they were the greatest 3 piece band ever. Howard said Eric was talking about how he's going deaf and things like that. Howard played some of the audio. Eric was talking about going deaf and his hands just about work. Howard said he's starting to think getting old sucks.

  Howard said it's time for some news. Howard said so many people thought they weren't going to show up today. He said they're there though. Howard said Ronnie hears just fine and he's about Eric Clapton's age. Howard said he hears better than anyone he knows.

  Robin read a story about how vaping and smokeless tobacco could prevent a lot of early deaths. Howard had to ask what She was saying because Fred was playing her news music so loud. Robin said they say that vaping can help extend your life. Robin said they say quitting completely does better though. Robin said it's best to do none of it.

  Robin read a story about Eliza Dushku announcing that She was molested as a child working on the set of the movie ''True Lies.'' Robin said She played the daughter in the movie. Howard said that was a good movie. Robin said Eliza was 12 years old and a stunt man working on the picture invited her over to the hotel to swim and She wound up in a room alone with him. Robin said he rubbed himself all over her and he was 36 years old. Howard asked if She worries that there won't be any actors left soon. Robin said it may end up being just Howard and he'll be the biggest star ever. Robin said he'll have to play every super hero. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read more about the Eliza Dushku story. Robin said the stunt man is denying the allegations. Robin said he's looking for a new agent after this story came out. Howard said that's a horrible story. He said he was obsessed with what men carry in their bag every day. He said he watched videos. He said there are endless videos of what men carry in their bag. Howard said Robin got him some nice gifts for his birthday and one is a knife. He said it's a French knife. He said he went online to research it. Howard said it's a very sophisticated. He said you use it to cut cheese and things like that. Howard said this is the greatest gift ever. He said he's went to cut a pear with it. Howard said he thought about not mucking it up with a pear. He said he isn't going to clean the knife. He said he was researching this and found out what men carry in their bag. Howard said he figured he'd carry it in his bag so he'll have it to cut a knife or a piece of cheese or something. Howard said he's not sure when he'd do that though. He said he's not sure why men are carrying this knife around.

  Howard said he somehow ended up looking for what men carry in their bag. Howard said you should see what men are running around with. He said some knifes are for opening boxes. He said some are for using in a fight. Robin said when She went to find the knife She said to the sales person that She was looking for something that gentlemen carry. Robin said that's what they told her. Fred carries a knife. Fred said they get a lot of stuff from Fresh Direct. He said he uses it to cut flat. Robin said She was looking for a knife for a gentleman. Robin said the salesman asked her if he does outdoor things. Robin said absolutely not but he has art hobbies and things. Robin said he may need to slice or cut things. Howard said he was studying this and he figured he should carry it in his bag. He said then he might get on a plane and get arrested. Howard asked Fred what he does. Fred said he leaves his knife at home. Howard said this is causing him so many problems.

  Howard said one guy carries a tool in his bag. He said it's not a knife but a tool like a Swiss Army Knife. He said one guy had a key chain that was a bottle opener. He said men all drink beer. He said this guy says you wouldn't believe how many times a day he opens a bag. Howard said he isn't watching football and he's not doing any of this stuff.

  Howard said JD carries a book bag. He said he asked what he has in there. He had a Games magazine and Muscinex. JD said he has to take that when he flies. Howard asked what else he has. JD said he has Coldeze and things like that. Howard said he carries it around even when he's not sick. JD said it's here just in case.

  Will came in and said that JD's girlfriend got him that bag and he feels compelled to use it so that's why he has that stuff in there. He said that he's got a magazine and cold medicine in it. Howard told JD to go on YouTube and Google ''What guys carry. Everyday carry bag.'' he said he'll see what they load it up with. Howard said he has to carry baby wipes. He said he'll have an itchy asshole if he doesn't.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he carries a knife around with him every day. It was one of the guys in the back saying he uses it to skin his mother. Howard hung up on him. He did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin said that she's getting more information on the Rose McGowan and Meryl Streep story. Robin said that Rose is accusing CAA of being Harvey Weinstein's pimp. Robin said She thinks they knew what was going on when they sent actresses over to him. Robin said Rose thinks they knew how unsafe it was.

  Robin read a story about Catherine Deneuve apologizing to the victims of abuse after saying that she's not happy with the #MeToo movement. Robin read about how some of the agents at CAA were approached by victims of Harvey Weinstein and did nothing. Robin said Catherine Deneuve is apologizing via a document saying that this is all from a man hating bent. Robin said this is a French group that put this out. Robin said now she's saying she's sorry to the victims of sexual assault. She signed this thing that said this is a witch hunt in the entertainment business. Howard said all hell is breaking loose. Robin said Liam Neeson got into some trouble for calling it a witch hunt as well. Robin said he came to the defense of Dustin Hoffman dismissing the accusation of groping a breast as ''childhood stuff.'' Howard asked if he apologized too. Robin said yes. He had to back it up. Howard said a lot of people should just quiet down.

  Robin said one of the things that happened during their break was that guy (Morgan Spurlock) who did the Super Size Me thing came out and said he was part of the problem. Robin said he came out wondering when they're going to come after him. Robin said that he was asked to step down from the board of his own company. Robin said they have severed ties with him since then. Howard said he's not sure how you get fired from your own company. He said they did that to Harvey Weinstein. Howard asked if Robin is incorporated. Robin said She is. Howard said that's like him firing her from her own company. Robin said he'd have to talk to her about firing her.

  Robin read a story about in Hawaii there was an alert that went out about how a ballistic missile was on its way there. Robin said they thought this was real for 38 minutes. Howard said they were supposed to be doing a test. Robin said it took them 38 minutes to correct. Howard said they don't have a button that says they hit the wrong button. He said it was a mistake and they didn't have one for making a mistake. Howard said this is the problem with government. Robin said the guy in charge of that resigned after this whole thing. Robin said She was wondering where the shelter is over there. Howard said there is no shelter. Robin said everyone's phone was blowing up with this alert. Robin said it turned out to be false. Howard said the guy who hit the button was just reassigned. Robin said She saw he resigned. Robin said She may have read it wrong. Robin said now they're working on a new system. Howard said it can't be that hard to design a system that works. Robin said they're upset it took 38 minutes to fix it. Robin said a Congresswoman is demanding that President Trump negotiate with North Korea himself. Robin said he's saying they'll get on that.

  Robin read a story about Dr. Martin Luther King and celebrating his birthday. Robin said he would have been 89. Robin had some audio of someone talking about Dr. King and how his message still means something to young people today.

  Robin read a story about President Trump being called a racist after he called some countries ''shitholes.'' Robin said there is some question about whether or not he actually said that. Robin said there are some people who say they didn't hear that. Robin had some audio of people talking about that. Howard had fake Trump on the phone denying he said that. Fake Trump said he wouldn't say that unless he heard it on FOX and Friends first. Trump asked Robin what shithole country she's from. Robin said the United States. Howard kept fake Trump clips on the line for a couple of minutes before moving on. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Howard said one of the good things about the shithole thing was that newscasters were all saying ''shithole.'' He had a bunch of clips of news anchors using the word. Howard said he predicts by 2020 they'll have ''cunt'' on the air. Robin said they must have gotten complaints because they were backing off and just saying S-hole later on. Robin said Conan O'Brien is taking his show to Haiti after those remarks. Howard said no one will give a shit by the time that gets on the air. Robin said Trump is insisting that he's not a racist. He said he's the least racist person in the clip. Howard said that means he is racist but not the most racist. Robin said Ivana Trump went on a show and said he is not racist. Robin had audio of that too. Howard said good for him having an ex-wife who supports him like that. Howard said he has never heard a racist admit that he's a racist.

  Robin said everyone was talking about Trump being racist so much that they barely got to the news about a porn star being paid off not to talk about being with him. Howard said he went on an watched Stormy Daniels after hearing the story. Robin said that this woman is named Jessica Drake. Robin said that there are multiple women who were paid off apparently. Howard said Stormy was very good in the porn he watched. Robin said that this woman claims She was kissed without her permission. Robin said Stormy claims She was paid off. Howard said She was with a guy and they were naked and She was facing the camera squatting on the guy. Howard said he studied the film to learn from it. Howard said she's almost an acrobat. Robin said this Jessica woman claims She was offered $10,000 for a date back in 2006. Howard said this is scandalous stuff but no one cares because so much is going on. Robin said in Fire and Fury they say that they were paying people off left and right to keep them quiet.

  Robin read a story about the pope going to visit Chile and how people may be protesting him there. Robin said they say there's a huge problem with molestation there by priests and they're protesting him.

  Robin read a story about Eliot Spitzer being in the news again. Robin said he stepped down from office in shame after using prostitutes. Howard said he should have stayed in office. Robin said that was a different time. Robin said now a man is accusing him of threatening him with a knife. Howard said he claims he was going to stab him in the dick. Robin said they got into it at a restaurant.

  Robin read a story about Chelsea Manning getting into politics. Robin said she's the leaker who let out some documents that went to Wikileaks. Robin said he was a soldier but now he's transitioned into Chelsea Manning. Robin said she's now running for senate in Maryland. Robin had audio of her ad for Howard to play. Howard said she's really got that voice down.

  Robin read about how Bruno Mars is making his way up the charts with a song with Cardi B. Robin said it's her 5th song on the charts. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. After that they wrapped up the news and ended the show around 11:25am.

• Aziz Ansari Discussions. 01/16/18. 7:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: A phony phone call Richard made to a woman selling some items with his voice doubled, an ''Ed Wood'' movie clip, The Fab Faux performing ''I Am The Walrus'' in the Howard Stern Show studio, fake Underdog Lady (Rachel Butera) announcing they have a new song about Robin's beautiful breasts.

  Howard started the show talking about how when he got in radio here was no such thing as satellite radio. Robin said no one even spoke of anything like it.

  Howard said before he left he was talking to his wife who was up before him. He said She watched The Bachelor alone. He said he has to catch up tonight. He said he went to bed early so they didn't stay up together. He said he went to bed at 6:30 and he can't be with you much longer because something must be going on. He said his wife woke up upset about Aziz Ansari. He said he was glad to see the Andrea Peyser column about him. He said there are a lot of people coming down on the woman who made the accusations against Aziz. He said the movement is good for victims but sometimes it's not what it seems. Howard said the Peyser column was good in defending Aziz. Howard said he had Aziz in there and he feels bad he has to have this out there. Howard said from what you can tell the woman doesn't seem to understand what the #MeToo movement is.

  Robin said it seems to be about what life is like in the workplace. Howard said people were suspicious about this woman because Aziz was kind of reluctant to be with her. Howard said She described everything going wrong right away because he offered her white wine and she's a red wine drinker or something. Gary said this was at his apartment. He offered her a drink and poured her white wine. Gary said She said he didn't even ask her and She likes red wine. Robin said She should have walked right out then. Howard said imagine making a statement like that. Howard said the NY Times piece says that Aziz is guilty of not being a mind reader. He might be guilty of not being a great date. Howard said they had consensual sex and She wanted to leave so he got her an Uber and She went home.

  Robin said She even said She wrote to him and said She was uncomfortable and didn't like how things went the night before. Robin said he wrote back and apologized to her for his behavior. Robin said it seemed to be all over. Howard said something set her off. He said it seems like a lot of sour grapes.

  Howard said Beth got upset over this woman ruining this guy's career. Howard said they hadn't seen these articles yet this morning. Howard said Beth has been a victim of a lot of shit and She feels bad for Aziz. He said he asked her to call in but She didn't want to do that. Robin said a lot of crazy stuff goes on during dates.

  Howard said something was written about how the #MeToo movement has jumped the shark. Howard asked what that was. Howard said it can empower someone. Howard said he knows a lot of people who have been sexually abused who won't come forward. Robin said this has moved up to the #TimesUp movement.

  Howard said he has a clip of Robin confronting one of her terrible dates. Howard said this is the Robin #MeToo phone call. Howard played the phony phone call they made to a guy using clips of Robin asking about the guy forcing her to give him a blow job and claiming they knew each other for a long time. The guy stayed on the phone for along time asking how they knew each other.

  Howard said he supports Robin in these phone calls. Howard said that guy is in therapy now. Robin said he just turned himself in. Howard asked what your reaction would be if you got a call like that. Robin said she'd hang up. Howard said they went through 75 calls to get one guy to stay on.

• Chained Up Kids And The Three Stooges. 01/16/18. 7:15am
  Howard said there's an article in the paper about a family that has 13 kids ranging in age from 2 to 26. He said they keep the kids chained up in the house. He said the kids are all starving and the 26 year old looks 10 because She wasn't fed. Howard said the neighborhood is shocked. He said the neighborhood didn't know they had all of these kids in the house. Howard said the school in the house is known as the sand castle day school. Howard said one of the kids escaped and they did a raid. He said now all of the kids are liberated. Howard said they're all going to be fucked up. He said the 2 year old might have a chance.

  Howard said the best part is the dad who has a Moe from the Three Stooges hair cut. He said all of the little boys have the same cut. Robin said it's like a bowl cut. Howard said he thought he had a bad hair cut as a kid. Robin said this guy kept it going. Howard said he loves the Three Stooges so much. He asked what that whole thing is about to have so many kids to chain them to a bed. Howard said his mother would have thought that was a good idea. He said they're some crazy fucks.

  Robin said he was some engineer making 140,000 a year. Robin said you think he's smart. Howard said Fred is smart too and look at him.

  Howard said he's such a fan of the Three Stooges. He said he Googled Moe when he went on YouTube and watched Moe and Soupy Sales on the Mike Douglas show. Howard said Moe is so boring on the show. He said he's asked about his hair and Moe tells a story that's so boring. He said he's very serious and he sounds like Gilbert doing the old guy voice. Howard said they're all sick of it. Howard said if you do Google it see how long you can watch it. He said there's no funny happening there.

  Howard said he used to love the Three Stooges so much because it was on a local channel with Officer Joe Bolton talking about how it's all pretend and don't go poking your friends in the eye. Howard said there must have been an epidemic of kids doing that. He said once a year Joe would come out and tell the kids to mark this date down when Moe was going to visit. Howard said you'd wait all year and then it was this little old man who came out. He said it was a big bore. He said Moe was no fun.

  Howard said they were the best though. He said they were just beating the shit of each other. Fred played some sounds from the Stooges and Howard said they must have researched that noise to come up with something like that. Howard wanted to do a bit with Fred where they went through sounds to come up with one for poking eyes. Fred didn't have anything.

• Stormy Daniels Contacted The Show In 2011. 01/16/18. 7:20am
  Howard said he has a bunch of stuff to get to today. He said this is kind of interesting. He said he's been reading about the President and Stormy Daniels. He said the guys figured out that in November 2011 they had a woman contact them about Stormy. He said they were trying to book her on the show and they said She was Donald Trump's mistress. Howard said they passed on it. He said he didn't want anything to do with it. Robin asked why She was doing that in 2011. Howard said he doesn't know. He said maybe She wanted some attention. He said maybe She wanted to go public with it and embarrass him. Howard said he never puts people on like that who want to bust the other person. Robin said a lot of people use that in a divorce.

  Howard said Brent knows Stormy from the Bubba show. Howard said the proposition was to have Stormy on but he's not going to fuck Trump up. He said he didn't want to do that. He said this kind of backs up that She was going to come out with it. He said now they're saying that She can't talk about it because She was paid off. Howard said they're on such a wild ride with Trump that this would be unbelievable news if there wasn't so much going on.

  Howard said he read an article about how Trump told everyone that he wasn't qualified for the job but people voted for him anyway. Howard said it was known that Trump had a lot of sex too. Howard said he told them about it. Robin said he never claimed it was during this current marriage. Howard said there's something new every day. He said as far as Stormy Daniels goes they were contacted in 2011 and he refused to put it on the air. He said he's not into busting people over something like that. Howard said he didn't want it out there clearly.

• Email And Jane Fonda. 01/16/18. 7:25am
  Howard said he got a lot of email about yesterday's show. He said it was mostly positive but he got one from a military guy who was kind of upset about something. He read about Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda being on the show and the positive email he got about that. Howard went through a bunch of email quickly.

  Howard said the guy who was upset was in the military. Howard said during the Vietnam war they had so many people being lost. Howard said he is indebted to the people who risk their lives for this country. He said he loves that we have a strong military. He said he loves the Navy SEAL stories and all of that. Howard said like good military people they do what they're told. Howard said these young guys were doing what they were told. He said they went to a jungle and fought people who did nothing wrong to us and died. Howard said the true traitors were the President and everyone who kept that war going. He said that he was scared shitless over that war. He said he didn't want to be drafted. He said this wasn't our enemy. He said they weren't doing jack shit to us. Howard said a lot of people were anti war and put on their black arm bands and protested. Howard said Jane Fonda had everything going for her. He said She was acting and She was beautiful. He said She was sexy. Howard said She had it all. He said most women in her position wouldn't have taken a stand. Howard said Jane went over to Vietnam to shock people. He said people lost their kids over there for no reason. He said Jane was trying to shock the system. She was telling everyone that the North Vietnamese people were nice people.

  Howard said his daughter spent 2 years in Vietnam. He said She told him that they are lovely people. He said they don't even have animosity toward us. He said when you're born in Vietnam they give you land to farm on. He said that's the only part of communism they have left there. Howard said Jane Fonda isn't a traitor. He said She gave up a lot to do what She did. Howard said She could have sat back doing what the Kardashians do. He said She helped bring down this illegal and unjust war. Howard said he owes his life to her.

  Howard said Jane didn't want to see our young boys dying. He said she's a hero. Howard said this guy who wrote to him he respects. He said he's a brave man. Howard said this former general says he was a fan of his until he said what he did about Jane. Howard said he loves the service people and the young people who defend this country. He said the colonel asked how he can support a woman who was mocking the military. Howard said She wasn't doing that. He said that She was taking offense for posing on that gun that took down their planes. Howard said She didn't pose there. Howard said She was speaking there and a photographer got a picture of here there.

  Howard said this colonel called him filth. He said he's really not. Howard read more of what the guy said and he was saying that he hopes he understands some day. Robin said She served the country and She was honored to meet Jane Fonda yesterday. Howard said he thinks this guy has been brainwashed a bit. He said he has his name there but he won't give it out.

  Howard said Jane Fonda was living the life and She didn't have to go over there. He said her heart was in the right place. Robin said She put her career on the line to do that. Robin said you can't let the government run amok. Howard said that's right. Robin said She was voicing her opinion and she's got the right to do that.

  Howard said that's that. He said for him it was a big deal. He said he loves the military and he didn't mean any disrespect. Robin said She wouldn't have served during the Vietnam war. She said She did serve after the war was over. Robin said it wasn't like She was against this country. She said She did disagree with the policy on that war. Robin said She loves Jane Fonda and did serve the country. Fred played her news music over her.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he's kind of confused by this. He said he gets Howard is for the troops but how can he say that Jane Fonda is for the troops when She handed over information to the people who were holding prisoners of war. Howard said you can't take young guys and put them in harm's way. He said that's what the generals were doing for no fucking good reason. Howard said that's where you have to focus your attention. He said they took young men like this caller and sent them into a war that we had no business being in. Howard said they sold them out. He said they sold out the American people.

  The caller said when you're at war you do what your country tells you to do. Howard said that citizens have the right to speak up. Howard said that the war had to come to an end. He said that you have to march in the streets and break windows and do what you have to do to get them to wake up. Howard said you had to see it to believe it. He said it was really fucked up. He said the real traitors have never paid for what they did to these young boys.

  Gary came in and said that they knew this war was no winnable and they pointed that all out in the Ken Burns documentary about Vietnam. Howard said that's the real story there. The caller said his father served in Vietnam and what he's hearing from him is that he couldn't stand Jane Fonda. Howard said that's because we were fed a line of horse shit. Howard said She was trying to bring and end to this so this guy's father could come home. Howard said Nixon never served and they're all chicken hawks. Howard said they all talked a good game but never served.

  Robin said the reason there is no draft is because of that war. Robin said at some point everyone had to serve but they destroyed that.

  The caller asked if Howard's father was a prisoner of war would he change on this. Howard said that's not what happened. He said it was about ending the fucking war and bringing everyone home. Howard let the caller go after that.

  Howard said he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. He said if he's wrong he's wrong but that's how he feels. Robin said there will always be controversy. Robin said she's a military person so don't call in with that military stuff.

  Howard said he doesn't want to talk about political stuff anymore. He said there are enough shows like that out there.

  Robin said that the president says that his TV watching is actually work. She said that's what they should say. Howard said that's why he watches The Bachelor. Howard said he has to talk about something on the air. Howard said he's all for that.

  Howard said about 10 years ago he had a bit of a smell himself. He said he realized it was him. He said he didn't think he had cleaned out too well back there. He said he ran in and cleaned up after finishing with her. He said he was so ashamed. Robin said She was thinking about Howard and the deodorant and how we're animals. Robin said they talked about the foul smell with that family of 13 kids. Robin said they were all chained to their beds and it wasn't getting aired out.

  Howard said he and Beth went out to eat and some old people came in. He said one guy sat down and they could smell him from their table. Howard said Beth had to move. He said he smelled like he didn't wash his hair for a long time or something. He said we're like elephants. Howard said he's sticking with the aluminum because it works. He said he's going to die young. Robin said she's probably going to go before him. Howard said he doesn't think so. He said she's gone through so much and she's fine. He said She went through her 15th round of Chemo or whatever and she's fine. Howard said she's a weirdo because She acts like nothing is happening.

  Robin said Howard called her asking how She was feeling and it was funny because She had the best night sleep that night. Howard said he knows Chemo can be a nightmare. He said Robin described it as an energy boost. He said he was so happy for her but She was acting odd with that. He said She was happy having it all done to her. He said he called her and asked her how She was feeling and She felt wonderful.

  Howard said Robin beat it. He said they had written her off but there She is. He said it wasn't a big deal to her. Howard said he'd be wallowing if it was him. Robin said She never wants him to get anything like this. She said he'll kill everyone else.

• Natural Deodorants And Cancer Talk. 01/16/18. 7:45am
  Howard said he did mention on the air yesterday that he tried to use one of those all natural deodorants and he got all kinds of people telling him not to use the aluminum deodorants. He said one woman told him to use Native Deodorant. Howard said he thinks that's the brand name. Howard said he got a lot of suggestions for what to use. Howard read some email he got about that. Howard said he was fine for 2 days but then the third day he smelled really bad. Howard said he doesn't know what aluminum does to his body but it works. Fred said it plugs up your pores. He said they think that can cause cancer.

  Howard said he thinks he's just going to have to die young. Robin said She has tried all kinds of things. Howard said his armpits demand aluminum. Howard said Jason's wife uses something natural and it takes a few days before the smell comes out. Howard said the body starts to eliminate the stink and if you can make it through a month then it's fine. He said it works fabulously well after that. Howard said he doesn't have a month to go through that. He said he has to do that Letterman show.

  Robin said She was never a smelly person but after the Chemo She smelled. She said She had to get off of all of that aluminum stuff. Robin said She could smell herself without doing anything. Robin said She can't go around like that. She said She had to go back to the aluminum stuff. Robin said the guys wouldn't have been able to be in her booth. She said it was ripe.

  Howard said he kind of likes it when a woman has a little stink. He said he wanted to have sex with Beth and She wanted to go take a shower. Howard said he gets sexed up and he doesn't want to wait. Howard said She even shushes him when he's talking during sex. He said he'll do whatever She wants. He tells her not to shower because he likes her with a little musk. Howard said She says no to that. He said she's not comfortable with it. Howard said She doesn't like it but She doesn't care what he likes.

  Howard said Robin is his hero. Robin said Jane Fonda is his hero. Howard said he can have more than one.

  Robin mentioned her nephew and Howard asked if he's really her nephew. Robin said he is. Howard said he can't tell because some people introduce family like that and they're not family. Howard said he thought Robin was a liar about that stuff. Robin said that it is a black thing and sometimes you get some of that. She said they consider them family in their life and that's how they treat them.

  Robin said her nephew wanted to go to Chemo with her but he had a cold and She had to keep him from going. Robin said if you're sick you can't go in there and get other Chemo patients sick. Fred played some Robin laughing clips and Howard said that was her in Chemo.

  Howard said Robin loved Chemo. He told a friend who was going through it that She loved it. Robin said She didn't love it.

  Howard took a call from Ralph who said he went to dinner with Robin one night and She had just gotten out of Chemo. He said She was full of energy. Howard said She got it and She was revived. Ralph said it was the weirdest thing. Howard said he would never leave bed if he was going through that. Howard said She never missed a show. Robin said most people don't work through it. Howard said Chemo was Robin's Red Bull.

  Ralph said Robin was laughing at dinner that night. He said that laugh isn't that far off. Shuli came in and said he talked to Jay Thomas before he passed. He said Robin spoke to Jay and he called him and said maybe he's not doing this right. He had spoken to Robin and he didn't get how She had the same thing he had. Howard said She had it worse than Jay. Howard said doctors told him to say goodbye to her and he walks in and she's laughing. Howard laughed about the whole thing.

  Ralph said he walked by a guy in Florida by his mom's house and he had just gone through Chemo. He said he looked like he should after Chemo. Robin said there is no look.

  Howard said he saw Ralph last night. Ralph said he saw ''I, Tonya'' last night and it was so good. He said the mother is like Darth Vader in it. Howard said no one has seen it. He said he and Beth loved it though. Howard said they sent him two weeks of Black Lightning. He said it's really good. Ralph said it looks terrible. Howard said it's really good though.

  Ralph said he thinks the last Star Wars was the best of the newest ones. He said he also liked the movie ''Bright'' on Netflix. Howard said Ralph sees all of this stuff.

  Howard said Trump was out golfing on Martin Luther King day. Howard said he should have watched Black Lightning. He said that's what he did. Robin said there was a story about a guy who made friends with the President through Starburst candy. Robin said the president loves the Cherry and Strawberry flavors and this guy had his assistant separate all of the flavors out. Robin said he also bonded with him over talking through movies. They saw a screening of a movie and they talked through the whole thing.

  Howard said Ralph looked like he had a new hairdo. Ralph said he's multi-cultural with his hair. Howard said he loves when Ralph is funny. He hung up on him. He said he has some lifestyle. He said he stays home watching TV all day. He said he's not sure how he does it but he has a nice life. Howard said he has to take a break. He said he thought there were no commercials on satellite. Fred played Robin's laugh. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.

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• Remembering Jimi Hendrix. 01/16/18. 8:10am
  After the break Howard came back and said he never did talk about the 75th birthday of Jimi Hendrix back in November. Howard said he often wonders if he would have been irrelevant by now. He said he can't imagine so. He said some rock stars do become irrelevant though. He said they just go away. Robin said some of them go crazy and become a joke. Howard said as far as he's concerned Jimi, Eddie Van Halen and Leslie West are the best out there. Howard said he went on his computer and watched Eddie Van Halen and he's so great. He said he saw Dweezil Zappa playing Van Halen's ''Eruption'' and that was great too.

  Howard said Jimi Hendrix was a black dude playing rock and roll. He said he liked that. He said some racist kids he knew even liked him. Robin said She saw that the Allman Brothers sons are going out on tour. Howard asked if that could be any good. Robin said the tour starts this month. Howard said Dweezil Zappa goes out and plays his father's music and the family threatens to sue him. Gary said they want him to pay royalties on his music. Howard said he follows Ahmet on Facebook. He said they're great kids.

  Howard said Jimi Hendrix was so great. He said that he would turn up the amps so high that they sounded like they were bleeding. Howard said he died at 27 years old in 1970. Howard said when you analyze it he was only in the public spotlight for 4 years. He played some clips of his music.

  Howard said people say that he has a unique sound because of the effects he used on his guitar. Fred said it wasn't just that though. He said when you see him live you see how great he was.

  Howard said Rolling Stone puts him right up there as the greatest guitar player ever. Howard said he was born Johnny Alan Hendrix. He said his parents divorced when he was 9. He and his brother stayed with their dad. Howard said he bought him his first guitar when he was 15. He said Jimmy went into the army to avoid jail time for being caught riding in a stolen car.

  Howard said he really did a lot in his short life. Howard said he told the press that he broke his ankle on a parachute jump. Howard said that doesn't appear to be true though. Howard said he played backup for Little Richard.

  Howard played a clip of Graham Nash telling him about going to see Jimi Hendrix play once. He got yelled at for playing guitar with his teeth.

  Howard said Jimi had his own band called Jimi James and the Blue Flames. Howard said his manager convinced him to move to England. Howard said that led to the Jimi Hendrix Experience.

  Howard said Sting once told them about seeing Jimi at 14. He played a clip from that interview. Howard said his first single was ''Hey Joe'' from that album but it was a cover of a song. Howard said the band that did it was called The Leaves. Howard played the original song and Jimi's version. Howard said he figured out how to turn it into what he did. Howard said if you heard The Leaves doing it you'd never think you could do something with it. Howard said he's not sure what happened to The Leaves.

  Howard said Jimi wrote ''The Wind Cries Mary'' about a girlfriend named Kathy Etchingham. He said he wrote it about her because her middle name was Mary. He said She hit him with a frying pan and then he went out and wrote this song. He played some of the song.

  Howard said Purple Haze was on that album too. Howard said he claims that came to him from a dream. Howard said he was into science fiction and that's where that song came from. He said Jimi never admitted it was about drugs but that's where it seems to have come from. Howard played some of that song.

  Howard said he would have been 75 years old. He said the song ''Manic Depression'' was great too. He said that was on the same album as all of this other stuff. Howard played some of that song and then some ''Fire.'' Howard said that wrestler Goldust would be good over this song. Fred played some of his Tourettes grunts over the song.

  Howard said he read something in a book about Jimi visiting his bassist's mother's house and he got warm next to the fire and he asked the family dog Rover to move over to stand next to the fire. He said that's a real thing. Howard said he should write songs like that. Howard listened to the song a little longer.

  Howard asked Robin what headphones she's wearing. Robin said She took what Howard gave up. Howard said he has those little ones in and the rest of the day he feels like they're still in. He said it's weird.

  Howard said Jimi was a phenomenal blues player. Fred said you see how great he was when he played live. Howard said he has some clips to play. He had some Jimi performing in 1966.

  Howard said it doesn't get better than this. He asked Fred what he's playing. Fred said it's probably his Strat. Howard said it sounds like a Gibson to him. Fred said he did play one for a while. Howard said he would play the blues if he had a guitar like that.

  Howard said imagine making love to him to this music. Robin asked why She has to imagine that. Howard said this is so great. Robin said imagine hearing it for the first time.

  Howard said Jimi took a right handed Strat and flipped it over to make it lefty. Fred said that some guys do that to try and sound like Jimi by doing the opposite. They think they can sound like Hendrix but they sound nothing like him. Fred said there is some voodoo to that but not really.

  Howard said Monterey Pop was a big turning point in Jimi's career. Howard said The Who and Jimi were trying to figure out who should close the show. Howard said they didn't want to follow Jimi and Roger Daltrey talked about that on the show. Howard played a clip of Roger talking about how Jimi took some stuff from Pete and they wanted him to close the show. Howard said that's when Pete smashed his guitar on stage and Jimi burned his guitar to go up a notch. Howard said that's how that all got started.

  Howard played a clip of Jimi closing the show with ''Wild Thing'' and then he lit his guitar on fire. Howard said he should skip to that part. He played that part next. Howard said this was all from his first album. He said that it went to the top 5 in the U.S.

  Howard said his second album was ''Acts as Bold as Love.'' Howard played some songs off that album. He played the song ''Little Wing'' and said that was covered by a lot of people. Howard said the opening of that song is hard to play. Fred said he can't play it. He said he did a lot of interesting things with his guitar and he can't copy it.

  Howard said Jimi's third and final album was ''Electric Lady Land.'' Howard said he played guitar and piano on this one. He played ''Crosstown Traffic'' from that album. He said today he's best known for opening the Bubba the Love Sponge's opening theme song ''Voodoo Child.'' Howard played some of that song. Howard asked if he should keep going with this. He said so many pusses have been shocked to this song. Fred had some clips of Gary clearing his throat over that.

  Howard said Hendrix took the Bob Dylan song ''All Along the Watchtower'' and made it into something great. Howard played Bob's version and then Jimi's version. Howard said Jimi did the Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock too. Howard played that. He said this was mind blowing. He said everyone was there and he stole the moment with that.

  Howard said Jimi would have been 75 years old. He said he was burnt out at this point in his career. He said he took some time off and then started a new band. He said he did it without Noel Redding. Howard said he started a band and made his debut at the Fillmore east. Howard said he almost went to that show. He said his face got in the way though. He said this girl was dating a new guy and She turned him down. Howard played some of Jimi and the Band of Gypsies. Howard said he's not sure where he would have gone in his career if he didn't die.

  Howard said he interviewed Jimi's brother Leon who said that women would have sex with him to get to his brother. Howard played a clip from the show where they were talking to Leon. Howard said he has to admit that he wouldn't tell him about the women he banged.

  Howard said he has another clip of Graham Nash talking about how much Jimi blew everyone away with his playing. Graham said he had an incredible energy.

  Howard said he salutes Jimi on his 75th birthday. He said his grave is in Washington state. He said some of the people there have visited it. He said that Sal went out there. Howard said they say that his grave has never been the same since. He asked what Sal was doing there. He said he's not a Hendrix fan. Robin said they say that racism melts away with Jimi.

  Howard said dying at 27 would be like him dying while working in Hartford. Howard said he was planning on making a record with Miles Davis and Paul McCartney. Howard said he's not sure Paul would have done it. Fred said he thinks he would have. Robin said She thinks he's right. She said She was listening to the Beatles channel and Ringo was talking about Paul being a workaholic.

  Howard played a song parody of ''The Wind Cries Mary'' with Richard Simmons ''Gary!'' replacing Mary.

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• Ronnie's Twitter And More. 01/16/18. 8:50am
  After the break they played a phony phone call Richard made to an internet radio show where he used a bunch of cliché phrases. They played a ''Creepy Ronnie'' song parody too.

  Howard came back and said there was some other Ronnie song. He said he had to give Ronnie a good reaming about showing Shuli porn out there. He said he's supposed to just stand there. Fred had a Sia song playing. Howard said she's so talented. Robin said this should be her voice. She said Sia got her voice. Fred played some clips of Robin singing over it. Howard had to ask him to stop so he could hear Sia. She was singing a cover of ''California Dreamin.''

  Howard said John Hamm got his face. He said Bradley Cooper too. Howard said during the commercials he ran into the bathroom to take a biological break. He said he's wearing the button down pants and it's such a pain. He said it's hard to get back quickly. He said his penis comes out and barely makes it out of the fly area. He said he's shocked every time he sees it. He said it's like ''Whoa'' because it's not bigger. Robin said it fascinates her that men stand so close at the urinals. Howard said you want to seal off the area so no one sees you. He said his dad wasn't afraid to show his. He said he had a nice cock. He said he's seen it. Howard said he inherited his mom's cock. Robin asked if he would prefer his father's side hair and penis. Howard said he needs hair so no.

  Howard said he keeps tissues in his underpants because he drips now. He said he doesn't have time to stand there all day. He said he wraps his penis and snuggles everything in and then buttons up. He said he's just in a rush to get back to his life. He hates the button fly. He said those pants look good on him though.

  Robin said She walked in and Howard wasn't here. She said that was unusual. Howard said Robin thinks the show is over. He said he heard them talking to each other. Howard said Robin got caught in a long conversation with Fred. Robin said Howard is terrible. She said She was very happy talking to Fred.

  Robin said She had something to say to Howard so that's why She was hanging out. Howard said Gary felt he was rough on Ronnie yesterday when he was showing porn in the hallway. He said Gary went up to Ronnie and tried to make small talk and it was horrible. Gary said he walked up to him this morning and Ronnie said he was ''Good.'' He said he tried to have a conversation with him about his dog and he said he doesn't have one but Stephanie does. Howard said maybe he was trying to be new Ronnie and not interact with him. Howard said Ronnie is good for about 24 hours after he lectures him.

  Howard said he may have picked the wrong day. He said he heard he was out there sulking in the green room earlier. Ronnie came in and said he's not sulking. He said Gary never talks to him. Gary said he talks to him every day. He said he just grunts at him. Ronnie said if they could come in and say the truth they would talk about the real Gary who only talks to you when he wants to.

  Gary said he asked Ronnie how he's doing every time and he just grunts. Ronnie said he never says anything to him. He said Gary is only talking to him because he thinks he's mad at him.

  Ronnie said that Gary is on the Wrap Up Show and he'll pill on him. He said Gary comes in with his theories and he thinks he knows everything. Gary said he's trying to do a show. Gary said the other guys are in there and they can't defend themselves. Howard asked if he is mad at Gary. Ronnie said he's not.

  Howard said he said he didn't have a dog. Ronnie said he doesn't. He said Stephanie does. Ronnie said Gary is fine when he has a few drinks in him.

  Howard asked if this is Ronnie blowing him off after his lecture. Ronnie said no. He said Gary doesn't talk to him and he doesn't talk to Gary so that's fine. Howard said Gary is trying to do his job during the show. He said he's not asking him to talk to him during the show. He said he could just say hello. Gary said he walks by him for a second. Ronnie said he walks by him 500 times a morning. Howard said it's not a bad point.

  Robin said Gary is single focused. She said She has spoken to him and he walks right by her. Gary said sometimes he has to get to something. Howard said maybe he's trying to get to food. Gary said he has talked about the food thing before. He said he has stopped going out there and taking pieces of a bagel. Ronnie said he'll cut off something between a quarter and a half. He said he'll just take it and put butter on it and then go back to his office. Then he'll come out later and eat more.

  Howard said his mom used to do that. He said she'd cut off a ''sliv'' to even it up. Gary said that's what he's doing. Howard said that's like a squirrel.

  Gary asked when Ronnie last spoke to him. He said it's a two way street. Gary said he does the same thing to him. Ronnie said he knows better than to say hello. Ronnie said if he's in a conversation Gary will come out and interrupt. He said he walks into the middle of a conversation like you're not even there.

  Howard asked Ronnie if he thinks Gary has changed. Ronnie said he knows he's a moody bastard. He said he knows better than to talk to Gary. Howard asked if he's become snobby. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said maybe he's just old and cranky now. Ronnie said he may not be able to control it. He said it's hard to put because he'll get in a conversation and talk and then he'll just walk away. Howard said that's what big stars will do. Ronnie said he'll just walk away in the middle of a conversation.

  Gary said he'd like to be friends with Ronnie. He said he'll try to stop by and say hello to him more often. Howard asked why he doesn't invite him out to dinner. Ronnie said he'd do that. He said he'll have him out, he doesn't give a shit. Howard asked who goes out to eat. Ronnie said it's him, JD, Jon and sometimes Sal. He said he'll have Gary out but it's up to the group. Robin said it sounds like Ronnie is organizing it. Ronnie said he's not organizing shit. He said Jon is the one who sets it up.

  Howard said there's something wrong with this because that's the group of ''cool guys'' there. Ronnie said he never said it was cool guys.

  Gary said part of it is that he doesn't live close to the city. He said he hasn't been asked to go out. Ronnie said Jon will come out to Queens but JD has an issue with leaving the city. Howard said he didn't know Gary and Ronnie had a problem. Ronnie said there is no problem.

  Howard asked Ronnie not to show anyone porn in the halls. Ronnie said he was making a point that you can watch porn at any time. He said you can go on twitter to do it. He said Howard was talking about porn and he was showing Shuli how quick you can get to it. He said it's regular porn. Howard asked if he's doing a show out there. Ronnie said he was listening to what Howard was saying and all he did was tell Shuli and then he runs to Gary and makes a big thing out of it.

  Robin said that they told him not to show porn to anyone. Ronnie said he wasn't talking to her. Howard said Shuli is supposed to be working. Gary said he wants to ask a question. He asked how many times he's going to show Shuli something and not know he's going to run to him with the information. Ronnie said he was just showing how easy it was to see porn on Twitter. Howard said he doesn't see any of that so Ronnie has to be following that stuff.

  Howard said Ronnie's Twitter feed is full of porn. Ronnie said he doesn't follow it. He said they post stuff. Shuli said he was bragging about this Cum Swallower thing following him. Ronnie said he's such a fucking asshole.

  Howard asked Ronnie what he's talking about. He said he's talking about YouPorn and Ronnie is in the hall guarding them and he's talking about porn. Ronnie said he doesn't watch it there. Shuli said he showed it to Jason too. Ronnie said that's because they were talking about it on the air. Howard said Gary had to unfollow Ronnie because he posts so many porn clips.

  Gary came in with a list of who Ronnie follows. He had a bunch of porn stuff he swallows. Howard said he's following all of that. Howard said he doesn't have porn because he doesn't follow porn. Howard said he doesn't have what Ronnie has on there. He said he follows the NY Times or the Post or whatever.

  Howard said Gary would go on the feed and it was all porn. Ronnie said it's not all porn and it's not like Gary isn't looking at porn. Gary said he doesn't want it there when he's with his kids. Ronnie said it's not like they're not watching porn. Howard said he doesn't want Beth seeing him looking at porn.

  Howard said his point is that if he's talking about porn it's not a green light to go watch porn. Ronnie said he just showed Shuli one clip that was a minute and 26 seconds long. He said Howard was talking about YouPorn and he showed Shuli you can watch a quick clip on Twitter. He said it gets right to the point. Shuli said it couldn't have been a bigger cock in this thing. Ronnie said that he sees this stuff all the time.

  Howard said this is someone who sees Ronnie every day on the phone. Howard picked up and the caller said he was showing miscarriage videos after he lost his child.

  Gary said that they have more of who Ronnie follows. Howard got the list and read that he follows all of these porn accounts. Ronnie said he doesn't follow all of that. Howard said this is what comes up. Gary said that they haven't even gotten to the porn stars yet. Ronnie said he follows one and that's Vikki Vette. Gary said he follows Leah Love too. Ronnie said he does not. Howard said his account is 90 percent pussy. Howard read more of the accounts he's following and Ronnie was denying that he follows any of them.

  Howard pointed out more people he's following and Ronnie didn't think he was. Howard took a call from Ralph who said Ronnie was giving classes on how to watch porn out there. He said he wasn't just showing porn. Howard said Ronnie says he can go right to Twitter because he follows ''Cum Swallowers'' on there. Howard said Ronnie isn't even sure how he gets this porn on his Twitter.

  Shuli said it's funny to see him tweet. He said he's got the phone right up to his face like an old man trying to learn how to do it.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked when they're going to put a stop to this Ronnie stuff. Howard said he will never stop. He played a new song parody that Ronnie sang about ''Wet Cunt.''

  Howard said that's great. He said that's why he can't get rid of Ronnie. He said the listeners are vomiting.

  Howard said he has Tonya Twatlips on the phone. He said Ronnie is following her. Tonya told him to stop following her. She said he's grossing her out. She said she's just trying to work.

  Howard said Ronnie follows other porn accounts. Howard read a list of the accounts he follows. Howard asked how he doesn't know this. Ronnie said they're porn stars. Howard said it's porn sites too. Ronnie said he doesn't follow all of them. Howard asked what he fuck is wrong with him. Ronnie said nothing, he's human. Howard asked why he's following so much porn. Ronnie said the cum swallowers is a fucking site. Howard said you have to see this list because he also follows Carrot Top.

  Ralph said he thinks that Howard has had this conversation with him before. He said when Howard does that it's a big deal. He said Ronnie doesn't take it seriously. Howard said he can't. Ralph said he just has to stop doing it. Howard said Ronnie can't change. He said it's like these assholes who thinks Trump should change. He said he's 70 and he's not going to change.

  Howard said Ronnie follows Stripper Genius. Howard asked how he doesn't know that. Ronnie said he doesn't know who he follows. He said he follows 900 fucking things. Howard said he came in there claiming he doesn't follow them. Ronnie said he's talking about ''the sites'' and not people. Howard said he's following 100 sites though. Howard asked if he knows how to follow people. Ronnie said he knows how to do that. He knows how to do it all. He said maybe he just forgot who he was following.

  Howard asked if he's afraid that the grand kids are going to get his phone. Ronnie said his grandson probably has it on his phone. Howard said at first he thought Ronnie followed Roman emperors or something because they all have XXX in their names. Ronnie said his grandson is 17 years old and he has a lot of hormones running through his head. He said leave him alone.

  Howard let Ralph go and took a call from a guy who said Ronnie is delusional. He said that he talks about Richard being weird and he doesn't even know he's following porn sites. Ronnie said he knows. He said at least he's not taking Sal's cock in his mouth. The caller asked if he gets Twitter through telegraph. Ronnie said he's a funny guy. Howard said it;s funny that he doesn't know what he follows. Ronnie said he just forgot.

  Ronnie said he's bringing Shuli with him to Daytona to cover him down there. He said Shuli is another phony there. He said he comes across as a nice guy but then he throws him under the bus. Shuli said he's not a phony.

  Howard asked who the biggest phony is. Ronnie said he's not sure. He said Shuli might be up there. He said Jason will do it to your face. He said that he will make up this whole thing and blow it out of proportion. He said he pours it on when he gets in there.

  Shuli said that Ronnie does that to Scott. He said he throws him under the bus. Ronnie said Scott knows he'll do that. Shuli said he was laughing out in the hallway while it was going on. Ronnie said he got his point across.

  Howard asked Ronnie who is more annoying, Wolfie or Shuli. Ronnie said he won't go to Daytona if Wolfie is there. Howard said Ronnie hates Wolfie. Ronnie said just spend a day with him and he won't want to do it again. Howard asked if it's that bad. Ronnie said it is. He said Wolfie got upset with him bashing him on the air recently. He said he's another fucking phony. He said he's' blowing shit out of proportion too. He just wrote back ''Calm down.''

  Ronnie said he can deal with Shuli but he doesn't see Wolfie all the time. Shuli said he's like a sniper. Ronnie said he's like a guy who sits in a tree. Howard said that's a sniper. Ronnie said he likes saying it that way.

  Ronnie said that Wolfie made this thing up about him dragging him over to talk to a girl but it was Wolfie who set the whole thing up.

  Howard said no one was talking to Ronnie when he found him. He said now he has an audience. Shuli said that Ronnie screams about him all the time too. He said he'll scream about him when he goes to Daytona too but then he'll forget.

  Howard said Ronnie follows BoobzillaXXX. Ronnie said he doesn't know who he follows. Howard said he has more. He read a list of the porn stars he follows. He had a long list. Howard said he doesn't even know what to say.

  Howard took a call from a woman who said She used to follow Ronnie to tell if they're going to be live and then there were naked people on her phone. She said She had to delete him. Ronnie just said ''Oh my god'' and said She probably runs around her house naked every night. Ronnie told her to keep watching his feed. Fred did his Ronnie impression and had him telling the woman to keep watching the feed and calling her names.

  Howard asked Ronnie if he's trying to be an aggregate of porn sties. Ronnie said no. He said he never retweets any of their shit. Shuli said that's going to blow up in his face too. Ronnie said he never tweets the porn sites. The caller said all of his followers show their tits and ass all the time.

  Howard asked Ronnie if people ever get confused with him in his real life and then follow him on Twitter. Ronnie said no. He said only Gary and this caller Cynthia.

  Howard asked if he's ever gotten anything too disturbing. Ronnie said no. He said he doesn't watch it constantly. Shuli said nothing shocks him.

  Howard asked Ronnie why he tweeted a picture of a woman the other day but claims he never does. Ronnie said that was something that this guy Emilio tweets to him and he retweets. He said he doesn't do that with the porn sties.

  Gary said he has a text that Jason got from Ronnie's fiancee. He read that and it was about how She gets his tweets and porn pops up on her watch. Howard said She knows who she's marrying. Ronnie said it's like the animals are really watching her watch. Howard said they get it. Howard said he liked when he explained sniper to them. Howard said he's a guy who hides in a tree.

  Howard said he can't even talk music with Ronnie. He said he wasn't into Hendrix. He said he was into Frankie Vallie and people like that. Ronnie said he was like 13 back then. Howard said he's had enough Ronnie for now. He said he gets him the rest of the day too. Robin thanked them for this taste of Ronnie.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie is the most real guy on the show. He said he gets a ton of pussy and he's great on the air. Howard said they know that. Ronnie thanked him for that. The caller said Ronnie always responds to him on Twitter too. He said he's great. Ronnie said he always responds to people.

  Howard said there you go. He said Ronnie keeps it real. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.

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• Remembering Dolores O'Riordan Of The Cranberries. 01/16/18. 9:50am
  After the break Howard came right back and asked if they have figured out how the lead singer of The Cranberries (Dolores O'Riordan) died from. Robin said they have not. Robin said She was complaining about a back problem for some time but that's about it. Howard said She was cute and She had that yodeling thing going on. Howard played some of her songs and said She looks kind of like Meg Griffin when She was in her 20s. Howard said She met Meg back in the day. He said She had that Irish look.

  Howard had Fred playing ''Zombie'' and he said that She was hot and feisty. He said She was a talent. He said that song gets him every time. He said rest in peace honey.

  Howard said the song ''Dreams'' is a great one too. He had Fred play that. Robin said She forgot about that one.

  Robin asked if Howard knows how the band came together. Howard said he Googled Dolores last night to make sure She was as hot as he thought She was. Howard said She was hot. He said this girl had more clothes than a nun. He said you can't find her in a belly shirt but you can tell She was hot.

  Howard had Fred play ''Linger'' next. He said he used to wonder what it would be like to fuck a girl who could write a song about him. He said you don't want to end up like a Taylor Swift ex with a song about you. Howard said it would be exciting. Robin said She was diagnosed with Manic Depression in 2015. Howard said that's for him. He said he knows how to play that whole thing. He said he was like Jesus to his mom. He said his mom could read her moods. Howard said that's not good actually but he never told her that.

  Howard said he felt like a god being there for a depressed woman. Howard said it was like his super power. He said he thought he could fix her. Robin said She should have given him her mother's number. Robin said She used to fight her mother and get her away from her. She didn't want to fix her.

  Howard said most men become mass murderers after going through that. Howard said he was going to play a game with Robin today. Robin said She never found out why the band got together. She said the brothers were looking for a singer and She got the lead singer part. Robin said what a lucky group. Howard said he put an ad in the paper and he got Fred.

• Howard's Letterman Interview. 01/16/18. 10:00am
  Howard said he has Mariann from Brooklyn on the phone and people really hate her. Howard said he gets a lot of negative email about her. Howard said he threw it all out though. Howard took the call from Mariann and Mariann said She has a bad self image already. Mariann said She has a bone to pick with the Radical Brothers. She said She can't find anything about Howard. She said he's not in the top 5 guests. Howard said they don't have a location so they can't get tickets. Mariann said it's not about the tickets. She said he deserves to be at the top. Howard said the others are all bigger than him. Howard said he's not sure what she's saying. Fred was playing her crow sounds.

  Mariann said when you go to Netflix they list the people who will be on but Howard is on at the end of the list. She said he should be at the top of the list. Howard said alright. Mariann said it doesn't make sense. Howard hung up on her.

  Robin said don't pass her off. Howard said he doesn't care. He said they can exclude him if they want to. He said he ran into Bob Sillerman and he said that Letterman is saying he's only having people on who he most admires. He said that he knows that. He said he read that quote too. Howard said he is doing the show. He said he hasn't watched the show yet. He said they have to knock it off with the spinning cameras. He said the cameras are so unflattering. He said he doesn't want that for his interview. Howard said they shoot from below and he doesn't want that. Howard said on Letterman's show they had one or two camera angles. He said just air the conversation.

  Howard said he doesn't like these shows. He said they should do the shoot in the Himalayas and he can be down below while the cameras are above. Howard said he doesn't want the cameras showing up his nose. He said they're trying to create excitement. Robin said the Radical brothers are trying to go back to the good ol' days. Howard said they spin around like a satellite. Howard said come on.

  Howard said he's having such trepidation about this. He said get Letterman's old director in there.

  Howard read some email about Mariann. Some people aren't happy with her being on every day. Howard said she's on for like 30 seconds. He said it can't be that bad. Howard said from what he can tell you can't please everyone. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.

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• Angry Political Guy Game And Charity Guest Sit In. 01/16/18. 10:10am
  After the break Howard came right back and said if he starts the news now he can get out of there on time. He said he always gets into something before the news. He said he was going to give Robin a Angry Political Guy quiz. Howard said they called his show and asked him questions and Robin was going to guess at what his answers are. Howard said She could probably guess. Howard said they can play it tomorrow. Howard said maybe he'll give her a teaser with just one. Howard played an intro for the game and played a clip of them calling Angry Political Guy and asking if he likes the Jews. Robin said She knows he doesn't. Howard played his answer and he went off on the guys for calling in with that.

  Howard played a clip of the guys calling in and asking if he likes dancing. Robin guessed he's going to say no. Howard played his answer and Angry Political Guy said that he does like dancing actually. Robin said that's shocking.

  Howard said they'll play the game tomorrow. He said he's tired and wants to stay on schedule. Howard said Angry Political Guy is an anti-semite with layers. Robin said She can't believe he dances. She said She would have guessed he dances all day.

  Howard said Robin assumes to have a lot of energy from Chemo. Robin said She can tell Howard how to get that but it's not good.

  Howard said he has a guy sitting in today. He said his name is Cooper. He said no more charity auctions. He said he doesn't like it. He said it's too much charity. Howard said it's too much him having to support every charity.

  Howard said hello to Cooper. He said that John Varvatos, whose clothing he wears, has a charity. He said it's something called Stewart House. Cooper said it has to do with sexual harassment he thinks. Howard said how about a charity that deals with radio personalities who don't want to deal with charities. Howard said he has said it on many occasions that he doesn't want to do this but people get him. Howard said he doesn't have the strength to say no. He said he wants to be liked. Howard said he wants to know when John Varvatos stuff comes out. Robin said that he'll still like him if he doesn't do this.

  Howard said he doesn't want to ask what he bid for this. He said he might be embarrassed either way. Howard said he likes that Cooper doesn't even know what Stewart House is. Cooper said he just waned to meet Howard. Howard said it's great to meet him. He said it's really not that great. Cooper said he's been listening to Howard since he was 14. He said he's 41 now. He said Howard played ''Justify My Love'' on his channel 9 show and that got him watching. Howard said no one would play it but he did it on that stupid ass show. Cooper said when he saw the show he thought it was so perfect. Howard said he wanted to be original. Robin said he was like a Radical brother.

  Howard said it was so great when they did the sketches with Gilligan's Island cast and people like that. Howard said that was a lot of hard work doing that show.

  Howard asked Cooper if he thinks he's a monster now that he sees him in person. Cooper said no. Robin said Howard has this feeling he's a monster but no one else has that feeling. Howard said he found that most radio guys don't look like they sound. Howard said you see them and want to throw up. Howard asked if he looks old to him. Cooper said not really. Howard said Cooper is already a hit. He took a call from the guys in the back and they were talking about how he's so great on the show.

  Howard asked what Cooper does for a living. He said he's an attorney. Howard asked what kind of law he practices. Cooper said he's an employment lawyer. Howard said he's never heard of that. He said this guy has been listening since he was 14.

  Howard said he thinks Lawyer is a noble job. Howard asked if he passed the bar on the first try. Cooper said he did. Howard asked if his wife is hot. Cooper said he thinks so. Howard said that didn't sound so convincing. He said he could be getting a lot of pussy.

  Howard asked if they think Angry Political Guy likes sushi. Howard played a clip of them asking. Robin said no way. Angry Political Guy said that he actually does. Howard said that's amazing. He said he just had it.

  Howard asked if Angry Political Guy likes or hates Vladimir Putin. Robin said that's a tough one. Robin said he's pro-Trump. Howard asked when conservatives started liking Putin. Robin said they say we have interfered with other elections so it's not a big deal that they did. Howard played the clip where they asked Angry Political Guy if they like Putin and then Angry Political Guy saying he's the best leader in the world right now.

  Howard asked Cooper some more questions about where he went to school and how his SAT scores were. Cooper said they weren't that great actually. He said they were under 1200. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

• Robin's News. 01/16/18. 10:25am
  Howard said it's time to do some news for Cooper who they seem to be entertaining this morning. They played Robin into it with a song parody. Howard said that song went on for like an hour. He said they should be 10-15 seconds long.

  Robin read a story about the Tide Pod challenge. Howard said that's a weird thing. Howard said it's so stupid. He said it's about kids challenging each other to eat Tide Pods. Howard said kids are eating them to see how many they can eat. Robin said it's really dangerous. Robin said they have had 40 instances where teens tried to eat them and it didn't go well. Robin said if you get them into your lungs it can really do a lot of damage. Howard said how about reading a book you fucking idiots. Robin said that babies were eating them thinking they were candy. Robin said now it's teenagers who are trying to eat them to win a bet. Robin said don't try the challenge. Howard said he fed Fred a Pod and he made him eat his shirt. He said he just shit out his clean laundry.

  Robin read a story about Tamiflu and asked Howard if he's familiar with it. Howard said he doesn't take anything when he gets sick. He said he lets his body take care of it. Robin said She hears a lot of people who take this Tamiflu. She said now they say that it really works and stops the virus from replicating. Howard did his mother's voice talking about how She told Howard never to get a cold to begin with. She was saying don't do things that are against nature. Robin was talking to Howard as his mother and asking questions about the flu and what to do if you don't have it. Howard had his dad in there too. He said he had a conversation with him years ago about Robin and he said ''She's good...'' Howard said that's a good thing coming from him. Robin asked if he had given a negative response would he have gotten rid of her. Howard said yes. Howard said he wouldn't have listened to his dad. He said of course Robin would be there.

  Robin said She brought up Tamiflu is because a 6 year old took it and stared to hallucinate. Howard did his mother's voice talking about how of course She did. Robin said this girl went to her room and climbed up on her desk and was about to jump out when her mother grabbed her. Robin said that it works but it's a medication but it has side effects like any other. Howard was still in character and talking about himself as his mother might. She was talking about how his son watches himself and he listens.

  Robin read a story about how this is the worst flu season in history. Robin had some audio of someone talking about the flu on the Today show. Robin said flu cases are up 750 percent over last year at this time. That led to Howard doing his mother's voice again and talking about what to do to avoid the flu. Howard asked if Cooper is having fun over there. Cooper said he is. Robin had some audio of someone giving tips on what to take as far as over the counter drugs.

  Robin read a story about dog flu and how vets are warning people about this. That led to Howard doing his mom's voice again and talking about how they never had pets in the house. She said they belong outdoors. She didn't let Howard have any pets as a kid. Howard had Ray going on and on about why She didn't allow him to have pets.

  Robin read the story about the dog flu and how it can be spread between dogs very easily. Robin said part of the problem is that if it's not treated it can lead to secondary and more difficult infections. Howard said he feels so bad for his pets when they get sick. He did a live commercial read after that.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he likes this auction thing and letting people in the studio. He said it's fans of the show. He said it's not Ronnie sitting home whacking it. Howard said it is nice to meet some of the fans like Cooper. Howard said it is somewhat uplifting. The caller said he should keep it going. Howard said it's not going to happen. He said he doesn't want to be observed every day.

  Robin read a story about how CVS is going to ban retouched photos in their ads. Robin said they're not going to enhance their photos. Howard said you have to. He said an ad is a fantasy. He said in ads they don't use real milk. He said they use glue because it's whiter than milk. Howard said he likes that. Howard said he wishes Cooper would stop gabbing so much and trying to take over the show. Howard asked if he's alright over there. Cooper said he's good. Robin had some audio of someone talking about this CVS thing and how it's going to affect a lot of companies because they could be banned from their 9600 stores if they don't comply.

  Robin said that TV is getting so detailed now that She can't watch news. She said that you can see the pancake makeup on people's faces and She has to stop watching sometimes.

  Howard said Benjy is going to be on the Wrap Up Show today. He said he gave him that shot last week and he's doing it again today.

  Robin had some audio from someone at CVS talking about why they're banning the retouched photos.

  Robin read a story about women being paid the same as men for the same work and how people are trying to make that happen. Howard asked Cooper if he deals with that kind of thing. Cooper said he does. Robin had some audio of someone talking about having equal pay. Robin said they're working to close the pay gap around the world. Robin said shareholders are expressing they want this changed.

  Robin read a story about Michelle Williams being paid for reshoots of a movie that they erased Kevin Spacey from and only getting $1000 while Mark Wahlberg was paid over a million. Robin said this became a big story in Hollywood. Howard said it depends on who can put asses in seats. Howard said they're going to pay Mark more if he can put asses in the seats. Robin said they said Mark was going to hold up the whole movie. Robin said they had already said that he wasn't going to be available to do reshoots. Robin said this was before the Kevin Spacey thing happened. Robin said to get him back they had to pay him more. Robin said Michelle and others said they would come back for no money at all. Robin said now Mark has said he will donate his money to the #TimesUp movement. Howard said fuck that he wouldn't give that money to anyone. Howard said he saw Mark out on the beach with his family on vacation and he watched that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read a story about Russell Simmons denying more sexual assault allegations. Robin had some details about that. Robin said that Simmons is saying that the claims are untrue and hurtful. Robin said this makes a dozen women who have come out with stories about Simmons.

  Robin read a story about Stan Lee being accused of groping nurses who care for him at his home. Howard asked if She has seen Stan Lee lately. Robin said this is at his home. Robin said imagine that. Howard laughed. He said he shows up in a couple of Marvel things. He said he's in the Amazon ''Runaways'' show. Robin said the nurses claim he asked for oral sex in the shower and to be relieved in bed as well. Howard wondered if he can still get it up at 95. He said women seem to lose their sex drive at some age. Robin said She hasn't and that's not true. Howard asked if She would have given Stan Lee a hand job. Robin said She would not. Howard said Ronnie is laughing very loudly in the hall. He said if he needs a nurse, stay away. Robin said Stan is denying all of these allegations and he is vowing to fight back. Howard said it's crazy if he's that horny at 95. He said he figured that curse would be over by then. Robin said you're never released. Howard said Stan wanted to do a movie with him. He said he pitched an idea to him but they never did it. He said it was a good idea. He said he got super powers. Howard said he got them at a radio station. Robin said that's ridiculous. Howard said it's no stupider than Spider-Man getting bitten by a spider. Fred played some creepy Ronnie clips from his sex tips. He had some weird clips of him talking about coagulated period blood and things like that.

  Robin read a story about a gymnastics doctor who has been accused of sexually harassing gymnasts. Robin said his sentencing is coming up soon. Howard said that is the hardest sport and imagine you show up and have to deal with that.

  Robin read a story about the nuclear button comment Trump made and how the North Koreans are calling that the ''spasm of a lunatic.''

  Robin said Dennis Rodman was pulled over for DUI over the weekend. Robin said his agent is saying he's been suffering from alcoholism for about 17 years and he's going into rehab now. Robin said he may not be able to avoid jail time this time around. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Howard said Cooper is over there enjoying his visit. He asked if he's learning anything there. Cooper said he's just watching how it works. Howard said how about Robin over there. Cooper said she's something else.

  Robin read a story about how President Trump had his physical and they will be giving more on that later today.

  Robin said people are protesting Trump and calling him a racist. Robin had some audio of someone calling him a racist. Robin said Mayor de Blasio was also saying that racism is coming from Washington.

  Howard took a call from a woman who asked him not to put Benjy on because he's boring. She said that She has to turn him off. Howard said he's going to be on the Wrap Up Show and people liked it last time so they're giving him another shot. The caller asked if he has heard from Jim from North Carolina because he sure had a boner for him. Howard asked who? He said someone actually asked him about Jim and he didn't know who they were talking about.

  Howard asked Cooper if he likes Benjy. Cooper said not really. Gary asked if they need Benjy for anything before he goes to the Wrap Up Show. Howard said he doesn't. He asked Cooper if he's sure he doesn't want to meet him. Cooper said he's the only one he didn't want to meet. Howard played a song parody about Benjy. Gary said Benjy would like to know why Cooper doesn't like him. Howard asked why that is. Cooper said it's because he doesn't make sense. Howard asked if that's good enough. Benjy said no but Howard said he can talk to him on the Wrap Up Show. Benjy said he's going to talk to him after the Wrap Up Show too and keep him there all day.

  Robin said that's it for her news. She mentioned that Black Lightning is starting tonight on the CW. Howard played another song parody about Benjy and ended the show around 11:15am.

• Rock And Roll And Broadcasting Hall Of Fame Discussions. 01/17/18. 7:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: A phony phone call Sal and Richard made to a Swap Shop show selling a lawn mower, Bon Jovi performing ''With a Little Help From My Friends'' at a Howard Stern birthday show, Jim Breuer as Joe Pesci announcing they have Jon Bon Jovi coming in today.

  Howard started the show singing about how the crew is all there. He said the show is over and he's out of things to say. He said he just talks all day and night. He said people talk to him off the air too. He said he goes to the psychiatrist and he wants him to talk too.

  Howard said Jon Bon Jovi is coming in today. He said he heard Robin singing some Bon Jovi. He said her song is ''Livin' on a Prayer.'' Howard played some of her singing that. He said that's awesome. He said he likes that She does it a cappella. Robin said instruments just slow her down.

  Howard said Jon is coming in and he's getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Howard said the first year they were eligible they weren't put in. Howard said it was one of those political things. He said he thinks it was important to Jon to be in. He said he probably didn't understand why he wasn't in this exclusive club. He said he has to be more aware of this because he doesn't care about that. Howard said they have these hall of fame things and it's a man made thing. He said the only thing that ever mattered was if the audience enjoyed his show. He said he didn't have to be in a hall of fame. He said if he was in one out of every 4 cars that's his hall of fame. He said that's bigger than any rock star. Howard said there were millions of people listening to their show. He said he had 25 million listening at one time.

  Robin said it depends on if you respect the industry and what they think of you. Howard said when Cream got into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Eric Clapton was on stage and he thought Ginger Baker would make a statement. He said Jack Bruce was up there too. He said Eric said he didn't think anything about the hall of fame but once he was there it was magical. Howard said it was magical because he was on stage with Ginger and Jack. He said they got on stage and did like 4 songs together. He said he wished he could have seen that.

  Howard said Jon is coming in today and they have The Cars, Moody Blues, Dire Straits and Sister Rosetta getting in with Bon Jovi. Howard said he's not sure who that is. Robin said there's a lot of history that he doesn't know about.

  Robin said the people who had the 13 kids locked up were in Vegas yucking it up with an Elvis impersonator. Howard said they have more about that family and that dad looks like Emo Phillips. He said he has that hair cut like Moe from the Three Stooges. He said it's not a popular look. He said the couple got remarried by an Elvis impersonator and he realized the weirdest person in the room was the Elvis guy.

  Howard said the 13 kids these people have all speak in unison and in a monotone. Howard said that's what he's working on getting his staff to do.

  Howard said he gets trade press and he was reading that Elvis Duran who works at Z-100 is being inducted into the National Association of Broadcasters Hall of Fame. Howard said he was thinking he was already in here himself. He said he's apparently not. He said he remembers the NAB and being there with Larry King and Rick Dees. He said they did this years and years ago. He said he assumed he was in the hall of fame. He said Elvis Duran is getting in. He read some details about what Elvis is known for.

  Howard said he asked Gary if he was in the hall of fame. He said they went through this long list of people who are in it. They didn't come across the name Howard Stern though. He said it turns out he's not in it. Robin said that's amazing. Howard said he doesn't want to be in it. He said he's thinking them for that.

  Howard said Gary thinks they were against satellite radio so that's why he's not in there. Howard said they pretend they were never on terrestrial radio. He said when his book went to number 1 there was a store that removed his book from the best seller list. He was at number 1 but they removed his and made number 2 as number 1. Howard asked how you can have a broadcasting hall of fame and not have him in it. Howard said it makes no sense. He said he's the most popular broadcaster in history of the United States and they pretend he was never in radio.

  Howard said Captain Kangaroo is in it but he's not. Howard said here you go. He said Robin isn't in the hall of fame either. He said it's like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame without the Beatles. Robin said that's what She was thinking.

• Phone Calls, Trump's Medical Exam And More. 01/17/18. 7:15am
  Howard said he has the 13 kids who were being starved by their parents on the phone. Howard took the call and had the guys in the back talking in unison and in a monotone. Howard asked some questions and they were answering in unison. When Robin asked a question they all told her to shut up in unison.

  Howard let the kids go and said that was their first interview. He said there's no coming back from being raised like that. Robin said the 2 year old may have a chance.

  Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who asked if his cats are going to be in the Kitten Bowl. Howard said no. He said that's his wife's thing. Howard said he's sure they'll have like 100 cats up for adoption there.

  Howard said he was trying to be funny there with the question. He said he's not giving his cats up for adoption. Howard asked what the humor is there. He asked where the joke is. He said don't call up with jokes. He said just call in with questions.

  Robin asked if they did the best call of 2017. Howard said he did something like that but never got to it. He said the Best of 2017 was going on too long. Robin asked what he chose. Howard asked the guys to haul that out of the moth balls. Robin said that call was so bad She thought they needed a good call. Howard said She will agree with his choice. He said he had like 5 different callers and narrowed it down. Howard said he was going to play 3. Robin said she's thinking of one that may have happened in 2017.

  Howard said Jon Bon Jovi is coming in today. He said that's Robin's boyfriend. Robin said he sings like an angel. Fred played Robin singing Bon Jovi songs.

  Howard said he saw the President's doctor on TV yesterday. He claims he did a 4 hour exam on him. He said they checked everything apparently. He said they did stress tests and a cognitive test. He said they were all saying he's insane and he insisted on the test. Howard said they hauled out that Ronnie Jackson guy and he's the guy who checks the Commander in Chief. He said he basically said Trump is in really good shape. He said he is heavy but other than that he's in good shape. Howard said you never know though. He said he knows people go to their doctor and get a great report and then have a heart attack.

  Robin said he did say he can live for many more years and you can't predict that. Howard said they say he passed for Handsome Genius. He said he also came out as ''least racist.''

  Howard said he noticed this doctor says ''you know'' a lot. He said he has to work on that. He played some audio of the guy giving his report and he was saying ''you know'' quite a bit. Howard said in one answer he used it 15 times. He had Fred hit a bell every time he heard ''you know.'' Fred did that and they counted 14. Howard said he counted 15 yesterday. He said that clip was 1 minute and 10 seconds. Robin said he started off slow. Howard said he builds real quick.

  Howard said they say Trump weighs 239 pounds. He said that's just below the obese range. Fred said they also said he was 6'3'' tall. Howard said to avoid being obese you give it another inch. Robin asked why they would do that. Howard said some people are saying that 239 is higher and people who say that's higher are called ''Girthers.'' He said that's for people who don't believe he weighs 239. Robin asked why they're getting into something that's highly measurable. Robin said he's not 6'3'' tall. Howard said it's just so they can say he's not obese. Robin said it's not the truth. Howard said it would be great if next year he was 6'7'' and in the NBA.

  Robin said She saw a really tall kid over the holidays and prayed that he can play basketball. Howard said he's really tall and got beat at basketball by Nils Loftgren who is 5'1'' tall. Howard said if he had someone to coach him as a kid he might have been able to play. He said he didn't have that.

  Howard asked Gary if he is a Girther. Gary said he is. He said he's guessing he's more like 270 or 280. Howard said Benjy is a Girther too. He said Benjy voted for Trump. He had him come in and asked what he weighs. Benjy said he's 5'8'' and he's 250. Howard said he believes that. Benjy said that Dr. Ronnie Jackson says he weighs 145.

  Benjy said to lie about something like that throws everything else off. Howard asked if Mueller should weigh him. Benjy said they should and they should do the Carnie Wilson trick. Howard thanked him for that.

  Robin said Sarah Huckabee Sanders one day said to the press that you can't make up the facts. Howard said oh yes you can. Robin said that's what they do. Howard said She said some crazy shit one day. Howard said a reporter asked her if Trump is a racist and She asked how he could be if he was on NBC on the Apprentice. Howard said he was thinking about that and it didn't make sense. Howard said NBC hired Imus and he said the N-word. Howard said he realized she's so angry. He asked if She can be loving in bed. Robin said She has children. Howard said he can't believe that.

  Howard said he loves debating the president's weight. He said he wants more of that. He said Sanders has a line of bullshit. He said she's good. He said if he ever needs someone like that he's hiring her.

  Gary came in with a picture of Obama standing next to trump. He's 6'1'' and Trump was shorter than him. Howard said he's standing on a flat step and he's taller than Trump. Robin said she's trying to figure out what FOX News would say. She said he must be standing on a box. Howard asked if it's unethical to lie about that stuff. Howard said there's no way he's 6'3''. Robin said the whole exam is in question now. Robin asked if he will lie about that then what else would he lie about. Howard said don't lie about your height and weight.

  Gary said at 6'3'' and 239 pounds he would be one pound away from being obese. Fred said he thinks he's 6' even. He said he thinks they added 3 inches. Howard asked how they can believe anything the doctor says. Fred said that Bill Clinton is 6'2'' and he's taller than Trump in a photo he's looking at.

• I Heart Radio Debt. 01/17/18. 7:35am
  Howard said to get away from that he'd like to talk about this I Heart Radio. He said that's the old Clear Channel. He said they renamed themselves and that is the worst name for a radio company. He said he reads about them and how they're bankrupt. He said then he reads that they're putting on an award show. He said it's going to be on the CW. He said it must cost a fortune to put that on. Robin said it makes a ton of money too. Howard asked if they are bankrupt or not. He asked if Brent knows.

  Brent came in and said they are 20 billion in debt. Howard said radio is some business. Brent said they were publicly traded as Clear Channel. Brent said that this company came in and took them private and leveraged the debt to where it is now. He said they're working on draining the assets and then letting it collapse. Howard said he'd like to get in on that. He asked how he can do that. Brent said they're saying that 7 of their 8 creditors are saying this is it for them. Howard asked how they can put on a show when they know they won't get paid. Brent said they get the CW to put up the money because it's a TV show.

  Howard said he's not sure how they get to keep the stations when they owe 20 billion. Brent said they are doing some juggling with the finances. Howard said he'd like to be a corporate raider. Brent said you have to be morally bankrupt to do that. Howard asked who is more morally bankrupt than him.

  Brent said they lose their pensions and everything when they do that. He said it's brutal. Brent said they tell you they're an investment banker but they're really corporate raiders.

  Howard said radio is really fucked up. Brent said it really is. Howard said the name I Heart Radio is the worst name for the company. Brent said they came out with an app called I Heart Radio and people loved that and not Clear Channel so they changed the name. Howard thanked Brent for that.

  Howard said Brent seems to know what he's talking about. He said he's very definite about what he says. He played a song parody about Brent and then went to break.

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• 2017 Call Of The Year. 01/17/18. 7:50am
  After the break Howard came right back and said Robin asked him earlier about who the best caller of 2017 was. Howard said he has 2 that he nominated. He let out a belch before getting to it. Howard said the first clip is Kyle from Louisiana. He said he called to talk about his obsession with feet. Howard said he makes foot fetish interviews and gets women to let him touch their feet. He called in to ask if he can tickle Robin's feet. Howard played a clip of Kyle's call.

  Howard said he likes that guy. He said feet are like his heroin. He said Robin didn't let him come in to tickle her feet. Robin said let him tickle his and she'll let him do her's.

  Howard said the other one was Eugene from Kentucky. Howard said he was so good people thought he wasn't real. He said they thought he was a character. Howard said they convinced Eugene to talk to Brent and Brent says he's 100 percent real. Howard played a clip of Eugene calling the show the first time.

  Howard said he decided it was Eugene from Kentucky. He said he's the man. He said he is for real too. Howard said he has a funny story about Eugene. He said he sent him a gift for Christmas and he took railroad ties and a piece of wood and made a coat rack. He said they usually throw stuff like that in the garbage. Howard said he saw this thing and he liked it. He said he never takes gifts from the listeners. He said he's always suspicious. He said he saw this thing and thought it would look great in his house. He said it was actual railroad ties and he took it to his house. He said the next day he got about 50,000 emails that all said don't bring it to his house. He said it turns out that the old railroad ties were dipped in something called creosote. Fred said it's a preservative. Howard said it's a poisonous thing. He said he had to be fucking kidding. Howard said they told him to be careful handling it. He said now he has to get it out of his house. He said he got it out that day and it went right in the garbage. He said he even labeled it ''dangerous substance.''

  Fred said they say creosote has no residential use. Howard said Richard's dad used to come home soaked in creosote.

  Howard read an email he got about the railroad ties and how he has to avoid touching it and don't put it in his home. Howard said they're listed as hazardous materials. Howard said he's back to never taking anything that the audience sends him. He said all the years he's been in radio he never took anything home. He said don't send him anything or he'll throw it out.

  Robin asked who else handled this thing. Howard said he had it in a plastic bag. He said they threw it out and they were using gloves. Robin said sorry about that. Howard said Sal asked for it to give to his wife as a gift.

  Howard said a listener once sent live lobsters to the show and Gary ate one. Gary said that came from a sponsor. Howard said he doesn't care. He said he would throw it right out. Howard said his mother would inspect every piece of candy he got on Halloween. He said he's been paranoid ever since. He said he's crazy careful. Howard said there was a report in the paper about Trump being afraid of people using his toothbrush. Howard said he has like 100 at work there and he throws out the toothpaste and the brush after one use. He said you should see what goes on. Robin asked if he does that at home. Howard said he does not.

  Howard said the lobsters Gary ate were from fans in Massachusetts. He said it wasn't from a sponsor. Gary said they came from a company. He said they were boxed from a company. Howard said the fans could have boxed them. Robin said the fist they beat Erik with was eaten by Jackie. Howard said that's right.

• Messing With The Wack Pack. 01/17/18. 8:00am
  Howard said they called Gary the Conqueror, Big Foot, Angry Alice and Mark the Bagger and told them that they were taking away their Sirius password to give them a new one. Howard said they were going to give them a sound to use for their password. Howard asked who Robin wants to hear first. Robin said Angry Alice. Howard played the call that Sal made to Alice about the password. He told her he was from their security department. Sal was telling her what the password was and told her the letters were upside down or in the middle and then played a sound for her to use. Alice didn't understand what was going on. Sal had her making the sounds back for him. Alice eventually got pissed and asked what the fuck his problem is. She asked what kind of shit that is. She refused to read it back and told him to take it out of his asshole.

  Howard said Sal has a PhD in being an asshole. Howard said Sal didn't sound like a character either. He sounded like Sal. He said he has zero talent there but he's god at busting balls.

  Howard asked who Robin wanted to hear next. It was Mark the Bagger. Sal did the same thing with Mark asking him to upgrade his password and giving him sounds to use. Sal had him sounding out the sounds to spell them. Sal had him read back the password and Mark did the sounds and gave the letters that he gave him. Mark then told Sal he doesn't even have a computer.

  Howard asked Sal why he doesn't try to disguise his voice. He said they do know him. Sal said half the time they don't know who it is. He said they have no idea. He said Tan Mom knows his voice though so that's why she's not in this mix. Howard asked if he feels good doing this. Sal said no. He said this was all started when Gary called in asking for a new password.

  Howard said he's sure Gary freaked out. He played the clip of Sal calling Gary the Conqueror and giving him the new password. Sal gave him the password and Gary wrote it down. Then he got the sounds and Gary said he didn't know how to write that down. Gary told him to tell him what to write on the paper. Sal told him to sound it out and Gary started yelling at him. Gary said he doesn't know what toe write and said this is a bunch of bullshit.

  Howard asked Sal if he feels good about himself. Sal said no. Howard asked if he dyed his hair again. Sal said he didn't. He said he has grey in there. He said he uses mascara in his beard though. Sal said he has white patches all over. Howard asked who he's impressing. Sal said he doesn't know. Howard said Sal is in show business. He said he's waiting for Adam Sandler to call him next. He asked what his fantasy is. Sal said it's patches of grey in his beard. Howard said he should take it down with some sheers. Sal said he looks like a turtle with his chin.

  Gary asked how often he uses the beard mascara. Sal said every day. He said it wipes off. Gary asked what he does when it rains. Sal said he uses an umbrella you dummy. Sal said Gary can't go outside when it rains. Howard said he stays inside.

  Howard said he heard that he's still upset that Ed Torian said he has farm animal tits. Sal said he is. He said that's tough. Sal said Howard had an inspirational speech yesterday for the staff. Howard said he didn't know how that went over but he did want the guys to know how he's thinking. Howard said it's private for the guys though. Sal said it was a good meeting. Howard said he has thoughts. Howard said Ed Torian was in there and he was strapping Sal down and he said he has farm animal tits. Sal said he had nightmares over his tits. Howard said he's never heard anyone say that before. He said maybe it was a compliment. Sal said he's never felt better.

  Howard asked how often he shaves his chest. Sal said he looks like a female gorilla if he doesn't shave it. Howard said he's not getting laid from all of this. Sal said he actually is. He said things are much better with his wife. He said that you can become insecure after going through what he went through and he's doing okay now. Sal said that would be in the back of his head.

  Gary asked how much he's getting laid. Sal said that's none of his business. Gary said he's not getting a lot. Sal said he's not surprised by that, just look at him.

  Howard said Sal called Big Foot and gave him the same thing for his password. Howard played the clip and Sal gave him his password and asked him to write it down. Big Foot said he can't read or write. Sal gave it to him to memorize. Sal gave him the sounds and Big Foot repeated the sounds as the password. He was making weird noises and saying he can't remember the other part. Big Foot said he has to take a shit and said goodbye.

  Howard asked Sal if he was shocked they were trying to imitate those sounds. Sal said he was. He said with the tech they have these days it's almost believable they'd have that. Robin told him to try it on Howard. Howard made some sounds. Sal wished Howard a happy birthday. Howard said he got a gift from Sal. He said he bought him a book on color and light. He said it was kind of bullshit so he's not going to read it. He thanked him for getting it for him though.

  Howard said Sal did some research for the book. Sal was talking about what he did but cut himself off and said he better just go. Gary said he should get a water pistol and shoot Sal in the face. Howard said he should.

  Howard said he wondered what kind of book that was. He said it was nice he got him something though. He said he likes the idea of shooting Sal in the face with a water pistol. Gary said he can get that to do after Jon is in. Howard said he'd like to see how much mascara is in that beard. He went to break after that.

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• Wolfie At An Elvis Tribute Event. 01/17/18. 8:25am
  After the break Howard came right back and said they went Wolfie over to that Elvis tribute. He said he has to play that for Robin at some point. Robin asked where it was. Howard said it must have been in Memphis. He said hopefully that disease will die off. He said he doesn't like that he took the black man's music and put his credit on there. Robin said there's a lot of that out there. Howard said he doesn't like that he shook his hips. He said he's just not an Elvis guy. Robin said he bashes him like he did something to him. Howard said he had a bad experience with him as a little boy. He was joking. He said he just doesn't get the music. Robin said She doesn't get Jimmy Buffet but She doesn't bash him. Howard said he doesn't get the worship of Elvis. He said he just doesn't like it. He was doing his Soupy Sales ''I don't like'' thing.

  Howard said this is Wolfe's thing. He read some notes about the fans. Howard said Sal went to a local one too. He said 50,000 people showed up to Graceland. He said Wolfie said there was not one black person there. In the notes Wolfie told him the fans are not growing old gracefully. He had notes about how they're old, fat and sweaty. Robin said that's how Elvis was at the end of his life.

  Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to a woman who started to break down crying talking to him. She had tears running down her face. Howard said call her up and give her a new password for Sirius.

  Howard played a clip of a woman talking about how she'd rather bring Elvis back than prevent 9/11. Howard said that's a decent fan base. Howard said his listeners would just prevent 9/11. Howard said thanks.

  Howard said this dude said he'd buy the toilet Elvis died on for his wife's birthday. Howard said what a romantic gift. He played the clip of the guy how he'd have it in his front yard on display.

  Howard said this guy doesn't mind that Elvis dated a 14 year old Priscilla when he was 24. Howard played the clip of the guy talking about how She was a bit young but he doesn't think She minds now.

  Howard said there were a ton of Elvis impersonators there. He has some audio of an Australian guy doing the Elvis thing. The guy said he's not an impersonator because no one can be like him. He sang for Wolfie and it wasn't so good.

  Howard said this is the worst Elvis impersonator there. He had some audio of the guy and he didn't know the words to the song he was singing. He was singing Jailhouse Rock. Robin said this is why She hates Elvis. She said he inspired these people.

  Howard said Sal went to an Elvis tribute party and brought his wife and Larry Caputo. Howard said Sal wanted to know what it would be like if he had been there when he was alive. Howard said Sal was standing up during a performance and people were yelling at him to sit down. Sal was singing in the clip Howard played. He was talking over the songs too. Howard said this is why he won't go to shows. He said it's because of people like Sal.

  Howard said Sal's wife is wondering where her emotional friend is during this. Howard said he won't shut up. Howard played more of Sal explaining why Elvis was censored.

  Howard said at the end of the night Sal made a speech about he Civil war. Howard played the clip of Sal giving a history lesson about the south and what they fought for and died for. Sal was talking about how he doesn't believe in slavery because we're all equal. He said this song pays tribute to the men who gave their lives for us. He said he was tearing up thinking about them. Sal said he thanks the soldiers on the confederate side who fought because they had no choice.

  Howard said a week ago Sal didn't know who fought in the Civil war but now he's giving lessons. He said that's that.

• William The Virgin Calls In. 01/17/18. 8:35am
  Howard said he has that kid William on the phone. He said he's the kid who can't get laid. He said he's just not that good with the ladies. William said he did have that one date. Howard said She never got back to him though. William said he got cat fished last night. He said he went on a date with her and She was like 50-75 pounds more than her pictures. Howard said beggars can't be choosers.

  Howard said when he met Robin he had a great press photo and Robin was shocked when She saw him. She said She wondered where that guy was from the picture. Robin said She did say that. Howard said if you're a woman and you show up 75 pounds heavier then it's a shock.

  William said he bailed on the date. Howard said he hasn't gotten one bit of stank on his hang low. He said he has to stick with it. Howard said he has to tell him something. William said he wasn't attracted to her. Howard said he's fucked women who looked like swamp monsters. Howard said he had to get something and get rolling. William said he wasn't attracted though. Robin asked if he's anxious for sex. William said he is. He said last time he called in he got hook up advice. He said he has been thinking about that and that's not what he wants. He said he wants something meaningful. He said he knows that's corny but it's true. Howard said that's good. He said he has had sex with women he wasn't into.

  Howard asked if the girl was into him. William said her body language was like She wanted him to hold her hand. He said She wasn't attractive to him. She said that She was probably 325 pounds which is way bigger than he is. Howard laughed. He said he is out there trying. Howard said She should not mislead people and send a picture of the way She looks. Howard said he should have gone out for a cup of coffee instead of a movie.

  William said he was supposed to go to a movie and then have drinks. He said if that had gone well then they would have gone back to the apartment. Howard asked if he paid. William said he didn't get popcorn and She didn't want it either. Howard said you don't want to sit for 2 hours and not eat something. He said all heavy people do that. He said She probably got home and had a big tub of popcorn.

  Howard asked William what he weighs. William said he's about 260. Howard said he's rejecting the heavy set women. William said he's around 5'9'' or 5'10'' tall. Howard said he has a guy in the green room he has to interview and that guy has no problem with women.

  William said he donated $25 in Howard's name after asking him for a game last time. Howard said he didn't have to do that. Howard said he likes this guy. He said he should avoid banging women he's not into. He said that's a good thing. He said he really means that. He let him go and told him to call back some time. He said he didn't fuck the fat girl so good for you. He said there's a movie there somewhere. Howard went to break after doing a live commercial read.

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• Jon Bon Jovi Visits. 01/17/18. 8:50am
  After the break they played an intro for Jon Bon Jovi from Robin. They also played a phony phone call Richard made to a party store using clips of Ronnie yelling ''Sixty eight!'' for his birthday, a ''Robin Quivers Sings Every Song Ever Recorded'' commercial parody, a ''Beetle Channel'' commercial parody about Beetlejuice's music channel and Coldplay's ''The Scientist'' with Robin singing clips over it.

  Howard came back and said he has Jon Bon Jovi there. He said look at this good looking guy. He said he stole his face. Howard said Jon looks like what he was supposed to look like. Jon came in and said that he did steal his face. Howard said look at you rock star. Jon said there's so much more space in there. He said they were so crowded last time. Howard said he had like 57 people last time. He said now he can relax and be himself.

  Howard said he was thinking about Jon and he wondered who his influences were. Robin asked if he wanted to be a musician or a rock star. Jon said rock star. He said by 15 or 16 there was no choice. He said he was in an all boys catholic high school. He said his son is that age now. He said he wasn't doing very well in school. Howard said his kids are spectacular. He said they're well spoken and nice kids. He said he attributes that to Dorothea his wife. Jon said all he did was show up and take the picture. Howard said the kids play football and they're well spoken and the daughter is lovely. He said Jon didn't do anything. Jon said he really didn't.

  Howard said Jon was 15 and he wanted to be a rock star. He asked who his heroes were. Jon said it was the 1960s rock scene. He said it was the Aerosmith, Thin Lizzy and bands like that. He said the late 70s scene was great for him as a kid. He said they were gearing kids to college but his three friends joined the Navy. He said he didn't know anyone who went to college. Jon said he wasn't a great student. He said he tried hard but it didn't have much interest to him. He said today they'd say he has ADD Or ADHD or something. He said his parents got it and they put in back in public school. He said he got a fine education there.

  Howard asked if his parents busted his balls for not going to college. Jon said they didn't because not that many of his friends were going. He said that his 3 best friends went into the Navy. Howard asked how old he was when he sang for the first time. Jon said he was 15 or 16. Howard said he doesn't dance around that much on stage. Jon said he does the bad dad dance. He said he has a couple of moves. Howard said you have to make that decision early on. He said Mick Jagger did the James Brown thing. Jon said Jagger has a great move and he does that on stage. He said most of his moves are because of Jagger. Howard asked if he has to do that because he's the front man. Jon said at first it was to avoid the projectiles. He said early on that was a thing. Howard asked if that's necessary to go through. Jon said he thinks so.

  Jon said that you can't be a front man without learning. He said you learn by opening for other people. He said he had a dream about dodging a tomato on stage. He said it actually happened in front of the Stones. He said the only hit he ever had was a ballad in France. He said they came out to do ''With a Little Help From My Friends'' and he did that. He said they won the night over the second night.

  Howard said he heard he was in Russia and talking to the crowd. He said he realized none of them knew what he was talking about. Howard asked what he did the next night. Jon said they didn't know the records either. He said this was back when it was still the Soviet Union. Howard said there are people who admire that Putin and he doesn't get it. Jon said this was back in the 80s. He said back then he convinced an officer to give him his uniform. He said he got all of that and came out dressed in that. He said he came in the uniform and he jumped on the stage and started. He said he looked to this guy and he had a little wink and a nod and the fireworks went off on cue. Howard asked what the message was for that. Jon said he was one of them and he was with them. He said everything changed after that. He said you have to find the tricks.

  Howard said he wants to talk about the Hall of Fame but he had dinner with Jon and he explained this to him. He said he thinks he knew the stories but didn't absorb it. Howard said Jon was one of these dudes who would go around doing cover songs. He said he would sing wherever. Then he got that job at The Power Station sweeping up. He said he cut a song there and it's called ''Runaway.'' Howard played some of the song. He said Jon made the song without the band Bon Jovi. He said that Jon put the song together and brought it around to record companies and no one wanted it. Howard said all of these geniuses turned him down. He said they just didn't hear it.

  Howard said Jon went to a new station called WAPP and handed the song to the DJ. He said he asked the guy to play it and they put the song on a compilation album. Howard said that a bunch of bands were on the album and Jon's song was on it. He said the song became a smash. Robin asked who the DJ was. Jon said it was Chip Hobart. Howard said he may have worked with Chip at some point. He said he does know Chip. He said Chip is a good guy. Jon said they didn't even have a receptionist at the time. He said he went to the station because the DJ is so lonely and he wanted to do something for this guy.

  Howard said this album takes off and then suddenly Jon is a big deal. Howard said Jon was signed as a solo act and had to put a band together. Howard said Jon auditioned the guys. Jon said it was the opportunity to work with these guys he knew of. He said he had other songs too and not just the one. Jon said between 80 and 82 when he got to co-write Runway he was looking for a band. He said that he had to figure out how to do this. He said he cut that track and he called David Bryan first. He said he was known as David Rashbaum back then. He said that he was going to be a doctor and he ruined that for him. He said he was in a cover band at the time. Jon said he had seen Tico Tores but he intimidated him. He said he was one of the great drummers in a band called Lord Drummer. He said that he was also 10 years older. Jon said he thought he'd be there for 3 weeks. Howard asked if he was in because he had this hit song. Jon said he thinks he realized that he had something going. He said he went to his house and met his wife and said he had these ideas.

  Howard said he was scared of Tico back then. He thought he might get beat up. Jon said back then he would have. Robin said he was the one guy who looked like he didn't belong in this band.

  Howard said he got Tico and David and then Alec. Howard said he has a great rock name of Alec John Such. Jon said this kid was a star from the start. He said this was just going to be a 3 week thing. He said Richie came to a show and another kid was playing lead. He said Richie and him hit it off. He said shortly after that they started noodling around. He said they met at a friend's house and Richie had a record he was putting out. He said Richie was trying to get something going too. He said it was an incredible collaborative effort.

  Jon said it was great because they had equal parts. He said they both did equal things. He said they could both do both things they had to do.

  Howard said he was talking to Billy Joel about Richie and he thinks Richie is very underrated. Howard said he really is a fabulous guitar player. Howard said Jon got the word that he was going to be in the hall of fame. He said around the same time Jon hit him up with an email. He said he had to talk to him. Howard said he wanted to call but Jon wanted to do it in person. Howard said he was on his way to his psychiatrist's office. Howard said he wanted to talk in person but Jon wanted to meet him there. Howard said his psychiatrist said he shouldn't have done that. He said whatever he does is wrong.

  Howard said Jon is there in the car waiting for him. He said he threw Ronnie right the fuck out of the car. He said it was actually someone else. Howard said he and Jon are in the car and he doesn't see him being emotional a lot. He said Jon tells him he's in the rock and roll hall of fame. Howard asked if that means anything to him. He said he's sold over 100 million albums so that should mean something. Howard said you can get lost in his house because it's so big. Howard said Jon has to talk to him and he's saying that he likes what Eric Clapton says because he was very emotional.

  Howard said he congratulated Jon on this. He said Jon wants him to induct them into the hall of fame. Howard said he's not excited about this. Jon said he tells the story better than Howard. Jon said he had hoped that this day was going to come. He said it does come and he thought about how he wanted to induct them. He said you think of big rock stars but the truth is that it was one choice and he told no one. Jon said he didn't even tell his wife. Jon said that day he asked to see him. He said he doesn't want him at his house so he meets him at the office. Jon said Howard calls him asking what's up. Jon said nothing is up but he needs 5 minutes of his time. He said he could meet him in the car when he comes out he'll meet. Jon said he drives up to Howard's car and meets him in his car. He said they have these two hoods standing outside. He said he's in the back seat of the car and it looks like some deal is going down.

  Jon said he's in the back of the car for like 5 minutes. He said Howard jumps in and he tells him he's in the hall of fame and he is his choice to induct them. Jon said their careers are kind of parallel and they both love what they do. He said it can be a pain in the ass and they both agree on that. Jon said that Howard knows them well. He said Howard didn't want to not deliver for them. Howard said he was honored that he asked but he knew he'd fuck it up. Jon said he wanted him to do it anyway. He said he sincerely asked Howard to please come. He said he didn't mention it to anyone else.

  Howard said he asked Jon if it's really important to him. He said he hates getting up and speaking to people. Howard said he didn't want to ruin Jon's moment. He said he is honored that he asked him to do it. Howard said he has so much success. Howard said there are so many people who would be better. He said he tried one more thing. He said he always says no to people who ask. He said he had never been asked. Howard said his wife told him that's such an honor to do that. Howard said he told her he was going to do it and then he gets an email from Irving Azoff who said it was going to be in Cleveland. Howard said now he has to go to Cleveland. He said he was going to call Jon and call it off. Howard said Beth told him he's going and they're going to have fun.

  Howard said he has to go to bed early. He said he asked the to induct Jon early so he can go to bed early. He said he's going to do it and now he's a nervous wreck. Howard said he's so honored to do it but he's very nervous about it. Howard said this is in April. April 14th. Howard said the band is going to be inducted and he's thinking about what to say. He said he's seeing himself on stage and what he's going to do. Robin asked if anyone is throwing a tomato. Howard said no but you never know.

  Howard said this will happen in April and a lot is being made about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Howard said the band should have been inducted as soon as they were eligible. Howard said he was pissed off about that. He said it's really weird. He said Gary is a voter and he said he did vote for Jon. He said Gary is taking credit.

  Howard said the other thing is that Richie and Jon didn't have a falling out. He said that Richie had enough and just stopped going to shows. Jon said there was no fight or words. He said they were in Calgary and Richie just didn't show. He said his manager called his room and said there was a situation and Richie wasn't able to attend this show. He said they went on without him. Howard asked what he does. Jon said he had another guy on stage who helped out and he stepped in. Jon said he and Bobby got through the night and it was fine. He said it was a weird night for him. He said that Richie is an integral part of the performance. Jon said they had 20,000 people that night.

  Howard said that since that night Richie hasn't spoken to him. Jon said none of the guys have seen or spoken to him but they have had texts. Howard asked if he's going to show up. Jon said he is going to show up. He said he's been emailing back and forth. He said he just wants him to come enjoy the night. He said there is no animosity there. He said it's going to be a wonderful night. He said he asked Alec to be there too and he hopes he shows up.

  Howard said it has to be weird and a mystery to him. Robin asked if he hated touring. Howard said Richie always said that you're paid for the 22 hours you're not on stage because that's the hard part. Howard said that Richie wanted to be home. Howard said he buys that. Jon said none of them like to live out of a suitcase. He said that's another conversation for Richie. He said that's his truth to tell.

  Howard said he could have given a couple weeks notice. Jon said that they should have a good night.

  Howard said they have to work out some things. He said that he inducts him but then they get up and say their piece. Howard said that he thinks with Cream they weren't talking to Eric Clapton. Howard said they have to have a rehearsal. Howard said he has to go somewhere to rehearse with Richie. Jon said that's cool. He said they haven't figured out what songs to do. Jon said if he has one song or 3 he's not sure what's he's going to do. Jon said he has to figure out what to perform. He said they have a big catalog. He said he's considering a medley. Howard said he has to work it out with the guys. Jon said he'll tell Howard when he figures it out.

  Jon said he has a schedule and he has to go by that. Howard asked if he needs him at the rehearsal. Jon said he does. Howard said he might need a broker here. Howard asked if he's going to just not talk about it. Jon said there is no ill will. He said Richie just had enough and he walked away. He said it's fine. He said some people think being in a rock band is a life sentence. He said it's a business. He said he has to keep going. He said if Robin didn't show up there would still be a Howard Stern Show. Robin said Howard would be pissed. Jon said he'd be sad and hurt but the show has to go on. Robin said that they'd have to talk if they were inducted into a hall of fame. Jon said he doesn't have to come. He said Richie is a wonderful guy. He said he is his friend still. He said he was his right hand guy for 30 years. He said he knows what hindered him from coming and that's his story to tell. Robin said She gets it now.

  Howard said it was so great when Cream reunited. He said this is going to be great. Howard said he will go up and induct the guys. He said he's been thinking a lot about it. Jon said he loves that. Howard said some guys got inducted by their heroes and they weren't so happy.

  Howard said Jon asked him to do this and it turns out the hall of fame actually decides. Howard said they could have put the kill on this. Howard said it could have gone all wrong and been thrown away. Jon said he would have been pissed. Howard said he remembers when Steve Miller was in there he didn't like who inducted him. He said the Black Keys inducted him and they weren't happy because Steve wasn't happy.

  Howard asked if he's going to hold it against him if he doesn't do a good job. Jon said no. He said none of this could have happened without the guys in the band. He said if he didn't have this band who knows how it could have turned out. Jon said that Howard was very impressive asking why he wasn't in the hall of fame. He said he knew the inside scoop last year. He said now that he can look back he's glad it took a while because he can appreciate it now. He said if he had gotten in 9 years ago he might have retired by now.

  Howard said Bon Jovi had the biggest tour in the country last year. Jon said 3 times in a row they did. Howard said he has to be in the hall of fame. Jon said to think that Dire Straits wasn't in is a travesty. He said it's very difficult. Jon said a lot of guys were left out and he's in a peaceful place about it now. Howard said The Moody Blues and The Cars are in it too. Howard said the Moody Blues should have been in it years ago. Howard said he'll induct them too.

  Jon said the J. Gels band should be in there too. He said there are a lot of bands that belong in there. He said The Eurithmics should be in there.

  Howard asked Jon about telling people not to bore us get to the chorus. Jon said that they open with the chorus. He said that's what they did with some of their songs. Jon said that the Beatles did that. He said the chorus is the thing. Jon said the American's know the chorus and Europeans know the words. He said that the Europeans know the songs.

  Howard played ''You Give Love A Bad Name'' which was an example of getting right to the chorus. Howard played Robin singing ''Livin' on a Prayer'' for Jon. Jon said She knows the words. Howard said that's a hard part. Jon said he hates that part too. Jon asked if Robin knows the lyrics. Robin didn't really know them. Robin said She usually does.

  Howard said it's the chorus first. He played more of ''You Give Love a Bad Name.'' Jon said he wrote that in Ritchie's mom's basement next to the washing machine. Jon said they would write at alternating homes. He said on the third album they were still writing in the basement. He said Richie was still living at home. Jon said he had an apartment but Richie was still at home. Howard said Richie is a mama's boy. Jon said he was an only child and he was doded over every day.

  Howard asked Jon about writing ''You Give Love a Bad Name.'' Jon said that was written with Desmond Child. He said that they were thinking about how Brian Adams was writing songs for other people. He said he wrote for Tina Turner. Jon said they were trying to figure out how to do that themselves. Jon said it was a lot of work. Jon said they started to write some stuff and they were introduced to Desmond. Jon said he came down and wrote a song that ended up on a soundtrack. He said then they wrote ''You Give Love a Bad Name'' and they ended up keeping it for themselves. He said they were going to try to write for other people but that one they kept.

  Jon said they weren't breaking through with their albums. He said the L.A. bands were way ahead of them. He said they needed a hook. Howard asked how much of the song was written already. Jon said none of it. He said it just all happened. Jon said that they did it with Desmond and it was all three of them who came up with it. Howard asked if the words just come to him. Jon said they do. He said the song was done in a day. Jon said they didn't think that ''Livin' on a Prayer'' was a hit. Jon said that wasn't the kind of son that was a hit. Jon said Richie got it and knew it was a hit. He said that he didn't think it was going to be a hit.

  Jon said they were all doing well and they had a gold record two albums in. He said Bruce Fairburn came in and he had done an album that was a hit. He said Bob Rock also came in and they all came together. He said everyone's life changed. He said Bob did Slippery When Wet. He said they all came together at that time and it just clicked. Jon said they had the same confidence but the formula gelled. He said they were allowed to be themselves and that's what worked. He said the producers weren't giving direction like on the first two records. Jon said by the third record they were confident. Howard said that must have been a relief when it became a hit. Jon said that no one expected it. He said the album was going to be ''Wanted Dead or Alive'' but the record company put a stop to that. Jon said the black album cover was a hefty bag with water squirted on it with his finger writing ''Slippery When Wet.'' He said that they had nothing so he did that. Jon said up in Canada they had great strip clubs and they shot a picture up there and they had a girl in a shower wearing a t-shirt. He said the record company sent them a copy of the edited cover and it was in blue when they Xeroxed it over. Jon said they saw this cropped picture and he said it as horrible. Jon said it was hot pink around the sleeve and he stopped the guy. He said they matched the color to her fingernail polish. He said they had printed 500,000 copies of this cover. He said he was puking thinking about it. He said his career was over after that. Jon said they had to turn in a cover 2 days later.

  Jon said he went into a room and shot the cover of a black garbage bag with ''Slippery When Wet'' written in water. Howard said he thought that chick was on the cover. On said that's a Japanese import. He said he hated it.

  Howard said the record companies have to be watched. Jon said they did a video for Runaway and he had the eye to see the boys and girls at the bus station working the streets. He said he went to make a video for that song and there record company took the book Firestarter and wanted to do that for the video. He said that's got nothing to do with the song. Jon said they were doing weird stuff with the videos back then. Jon said by the third album they did a live performance on stage. He said they wanted to show what a great live band they were. He said that's what they did with a bunch of songs.

  Howard said he can't believe he has to go to Cleveland. Jon said he hasn't been to the hall of fame. Howard said he thinks he was there years ago when they were breaking ground or something. Jon said they got to raise money for the hall of fame years ago. He said they did it with a bunch of legends in Cleveland.

  Howard said if he wants him to back out of this just let him know. Jon said he's not getting out of this. Howard said like Hitler he's a great orator. Robin said he made a video for their agent and he was better on video than they were in the room. Howard said he's going to do a video for this hall of fame thing then. Howard said he knows he has to go out on that Friday for a party. Jon said his wife is doing that and he knows nothing about it but he knows it's going to be a blast.

  Jon said he wishes he could have a thing like Billy Joel does at the Garden. He said that's such a great thing. Howard said he hates flying. He said he doesn't want to go to Cleveland. Howard asked if he takes anything when he flies. Jon said he'll be there in 45 minutes and he'll be right there at the hall of fame.

  Howard said Jon is going to be inducted in April. He said he has a new single and he can only play 30 seconds of it. Jon said he can play the whole thing. Howard said he'll play it. Jon said he can play it. Howard said here it is. He played Jon's new single. He said it's a beautiful song. they played Robin singing over it.

  Howard said he thinks he has a hit there. Jon said it's ''When We Were Us'' and it's about the band. Howard asked if he's thinking about the band. Jon said it really is about the band. Howard asked if he gets sad when he sings it. Jon said no. He said they're going to play that on Colbert tonight. He said they're doing a 3 night deal on Colbert. Howard said he was on last night. Jon said they are doing two songs. Howard asked if he was upset that he had to come in this morning. Jon said he loved coming in to do Howard's show. He said they don't have to be up late to do the show tonight. Howard said he goes to bed at like 6:30 now. Jon said he's in bed by 10. He said he's a morning guy.

  Jon said that he wouldn't have been able to do this without the guys in Bon Jovi. Howard said Jon is such a good looking guy and he can sing. He said he hates guys like that. Howard said he's proud of him and his band. He said he's going to induct them but he wishes they were doing it in New York. Jon said he does too but they're going to have fun in Cleveland.

  Howard said Jon was going to buy into the Buffalo Bills. He said that he told him not to. Howard said there's a story in the paper about how Trump was trying to get them at the same time. Jon said sort of. He said he did express interest. Howard said Jon put a real bid in. Howard said he heard Trump had a campaign against Jon. Jon said yep. He said according to the article Trump hired a guy to discredit them. He said they said they were going to take them across the border. Jon said it go so bad they stopped playing them on the radio up there in Buffalo. Jon said it was genius what he did because he took out a serious candidate to buy the team and he could have gotten a bargain price. Jon said he would have loved getting the team. He said he was going to get a house there and move up there. Howard said he knows that's true because he told him that. He said Jon was all in and he was going to move up there. Jon said they had a great plan for it and it would have been very unique. He said they are doing great with the team now but he had a great plan too. Howard said he thinks it would have helped to have Jon there. Jon said it didn't work out but the guy who got the team is doing great.

  Howard said they had people handing out ''Bon Jovi Free Bar'' signs they were putting up there. Jon said it's evil genius to think about the way the guy works. He said they were coming from a place of playing fair. He said they came up with the money and took 27 months to get there. He said then this guy shuts them out. Jon said it came down to the guy who got it and him. He said it was just two people. Jon said that guy is an evil genius. Howard said he must be pissed. Jon said he's over it now but it took years of therapy to get over it. He said he wasn't angry but he was disappointed. Howard asked if he really went through therapy over that. Jon said he did. He said that the Richie thing was going on too. He said that he went through a dark period between 2014-15. He said that they tell you there's light but it takes a long time to see that light.

  Howard said if he knew there was a conspiracy against him that would scare him. Jon said he didn't know it at the time. Robin said Howard has had them. Howard said he knows but he doesn't want to know about them.

  Howard said he is proud of Jon. Robin asked if he'll ever own a team. Howard said he is against him owning a team. Jon said he doesn't know about that. Howard said just stick to your music. Robin asked if he would have given up his music. Jon said it would have been more of a past time. Howard said he should stick to the music.

  Howard congratulated Jon and said he has known him for like 57 years. Howard said he hopes he doesn't disappoint him with the induction. Jon said he's thankful for Beth because he knows he would have backed out of this. Howard said he's right about that. He said Beth said Jon is a friend so he has to do it. He said he will be there but he's very angry at him. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later. They played a few bits and phony phone calls as they went to break.

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• Jon Bon Jovi Interview Recap. 01/17/18. 10:15am
  After the break Howard came right back and said it was good to see Jon. He said he was so pissed. Robin said he doesn't tell the story. Howard said he was pissed he didn't tell him it was in Cleveland. Howard said he loves Cleveland but he doesn't want to travel. Howard said his wife sat him down and told him he has to do it because Jon is a friend and they will have a good time. Howard said he's going. Howard said the poor woman is locked in the house with him. He said She wants to leave.

  Howard said he heard Robin wants to go. Robin said She does but it won't make a difference if She is there. Fred played Robin singing Bon Jovi's ''Livin on a Prayer.'' Howard said Robin walked up to Jon and asked to go. Howard said he'll take her there. Robin said he never answered her. Howard said he wasn't sure he was even going. He said he might just induct Robin into the hall of fame. Robin said that's so exciting but Howard said ''NO! It's in Cleveland!'' Howard said Jon did it the right way. He had to look him in the eye. He said last time he was in Cleveland was in 1994 when they had the funeral for the guys they beat there. Howard said he likes Cleveland. He said they have nice people and it's beautiful there. Howard said he just doesn't want to fly if he doesn't have to.

  Howard said he only flies if he has to do something. He said he hated getting that call that it was in Cleveland. Howard said Jon didn't tell him that. He said he just wanted Jon to give up on getting him to do it. Robin said She thinks it's wonderful for Howard. Howard said that's what Beth said. He said he wonders how it's wonderful for him. He said he likes that new Bon Jovi song too. He said Ronnie did too. Gary said he was walking around saying ''That's what rock and roll is.''

  Howard said please don't bother him if you're inducted. He said he says that with peace and love. He said that he's happy for you but don't ask him to do it. He said he does not like speaking in public. Robin said he should give a video message that after the 18th he won't do this again. Howard said he's going to do that like Ringo. He said he loves the band and Jon but he's terrible at this. Robin said he's not terrible. He just doesn't like it.

  Howard said he heard Gary and Ronnie are arguing out there. Gary said he's just saying they all pile on him out there.

  Howard said he has the Radical Brothers on the phone. They're upset he's going to Cleveland but he won't go to Indiana. Howard took the call from the guys in the back who were playing the parts of the Radical brothers. They were acting like they were going off on him for not going to Indiana. Howard let the brothers go and then did a live commercial read.

  Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if he will read copious notes or will he be talking off the cuff. Howard said he's a pisser this Bobo. Howard said he will be reading from copious notes and adlibbing. Bobo said he loved the story about the two cars being like the mob. Howard had Fred play Bobo off like he was at the Oscars. Bobo was still trying to talk over the music. Howard played a song parody about Bobo. Bobo was still there and said he's so happy for Howard. Howard thanked him for the call. He said it was good to hear from him.

• Robin's News. 01/17/18. 10:25am
  Howard said it's time for some news. They played Robin into it with a song parody. Howard said that was sent in by Goo Reed.

  Robin said she's looking at this picture in the paper today of those 13 kids who were chained up. Robin said they got to go to Disney World. Howard said his parents never took him. Robin said it was probably Disneyland actually. Howard said it's actually horrible that they were chained up.

  Robin read a story about how She isn't into the death penalty usually but she's for all terrorists being euthanized. Robin said She says this because the New York City bomber is trying to radicalize fellow inmates at the correctional center he's in. Robin said if he's not there he can't do that. Robin said he was responsible for several bombings in 2016. Robin said he's bragging about the bombings and the injuries he caused. Howard said he's with Robin on this. He said how about bringing back firing squads too. Robin said that's fine. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Howard said he meant to bring this up before the end of the show. Howard said Sal is dying his beard with beard mascara. He said they wanted to hit him in the face with a water gun to see if it streaks. Gary said it has been done. He said they have pictures. Gary said he thought they weren't going to do it live. Howard took a look and said it would have been great on the air. He said that's terrible. He said his beard is running. Howard told Gary to post those on the web. Howard said they should put him in the rain. Howard said see Sal melting on HowardStern.com

  Robin read a story about the Missouri governor refusing to resign after people demanding that he do so. Robin said he's apologizing for an extramarital affair he had. Robin said he took a nude picture of the woman he had an affair with and allegedly blackmailed her with it. Robin said it sounds criminal to her. Robin said they should charge him with a crime. Robin said that is a crime to blackmail someone. Robin said people don't resign anymore. They fight. Howard said she's right. Howard said it used to be over any little scandal.

  Robin read a story about Stormy Daniels and how She was talking before about her affair with Trump. Robin said She said he was a dud in bed and didn't have any sexual acumen. Howard said that's the worst. Robin said he must be having a bad day today. Howard said that stuff is very important to him. He said he knows he's bad in bed but he doesn't want to hear about it. Howard said it's a low blow to talk about how bad you are in bed. He said he's going to start a new #MeToo movement.

  Robin said a friend of Stormy's was on the Megyn Kelly show talking about what She heard from Stormy. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said he's just against saying that someone is bad in bed. Robin said She didn't think that was a good revelation. The friend was talking about Stormy talking about Trump chasing her around in his tighty whities.

  Robin read a story about Ann Curry talking about how she's not surprised that Matt Lauer had a down fall in November. Howard asked Robin how many guys she's had who were bad in bed. Robin went through the guys and counted up. Robin said there was one guy who had a big one who was really good. She said there was one who had a big cock but he didn't know what he was doing. Robin didn't give Howard a number of bad ones She had. Robin had Howard play some audio of Ann Curry talking about Matt.

  Howard said he never mentioned that Bon Jovi tickets go on sale soon on BonJovi.com. He said he must have been caught up in all of that other stuff.

  Robin read a story about Kevin Spacey being accused of racism on the set of House of Cards. Robin said she's so upset by this. She said She had such respect for him. Robin said he wanted no part of black security guards standing guard over his trailer. Robin said he's just being accused of more and more things.

  Robin read a story about Seal and how he's being accused of sexual battery. Robin said he spoke about Oprah's speech at the Golden Globes and said She was part of the problem being friends with Harvey Weinstein. Robin said a woman is claiming She was sexually assaulted by Seal when She went to his house to return something. He allegedly said She was asking for it and started groping her breasts until She demanded that he stop.

  Robin read a story about the DIY network and how someone on one of the shows there made an ethnic slur that made it on the air. Robin said they're going to edit it out of future airings. Robin had some audio of her saying ''Jew us down'' on the show. Gary said that show isn't live and that means no one it went through thought it was a problem. Howard said that's great. Robin said it's like that H&M ad that got through. Howard did a live commercial read a short time later.

  Robin read a story about Bitcoin and how it keeps falling now. Robin said that it seems kind of like a Ponzi scheme to her. Robin said it keeps going down and it's down by another 7 percent. Robin said the sell off was happening over night. Howard said Memet gave him and Robin $50 in Bitcoin. Gary said that Memet is upset that he hasn't deposited it. Howard said he doesn't know he has to. Gary said Memet gave him some and he can't figure out how to do it. He said no one there can figure it out. Howard said he doesn't know what to do with it. Howard said how about just giving him fifty fucking dollars. He said he'll give him back that shitty piece of paper he gave him. Robin read more about Bitcoin and how it was trading around 10,000 today and it was close to 20,000 last month. Howard asked what his 50 dollars is worth now. Robin said it looks like it's been cut in half. Howard said by the time he registers it won't be worth anything.

  Robin read about how The Bunny Ranch is looking into taking Bitcoin as payment. Howard said imagine getting a $30 blow job there.

  Robin read about the Trump administration cutting a budget for the UN workers relief agency. Robin read some details about that.

  Robin read a story about how we may have a new state called New California. Robin said they're part of California that don't want to be part of California anymore. Howard said he's against that. He said just be California. Robin said they say that the state is ungovernable.

  Robin said Howard hasn't said anything about Net Neutrality. Howard said he doesn't know enough about it. He said he knows one option is to get better service if you pay for it. Robin said the idea is that you make it equal so everyone has the same kind of access and speed. Howard said they say if you have more dough then you'll have better speed. Robin said you can always pay more and get better service. Robin asked why the net can't be neutral. Robin said it's a great way for businesses to start. Howard said he thinks he's for Net Neutrality. He said he's still trying to figure out what's going on with Trump. Howard asked Gary Techno Beaver. Gary said he's against it because if Netflix doesn't want to pay more than Hulu then they're not going to get the same kind of quality. Howard said that's enough. He had Fred play him off. Howard asked if he's for or against it. Gary was arguing for it but he was against it in that argument. Gary said he's for Net Neutrality. He said it's very confusing. Howard said he has to let others decide. He said he's the wrong one to ask.

  Robin said the national park service is losing a bunch of the top people. Robin said a bunch of them quit yesterday because they're not sure what Trump's administration is doing with the parks. Robin read some more details about that.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked why he says he's just kidding when he says something about someone doing something that they didn't do. He mentioned something about Kevin Spacey orchestrating 9/11 earlier. Howard said it's parody but there are some stupid people out there who think it's real. Howard said a percent of the audience is complete moronic. Howard said he was just joking.

  Robin asked how Benjy did on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Howard said he did well. He said he does things at the end that aren't so great. Gary said Benjy wants to come in and ask if he can do it again today. Howard said no. He said maybe he can talk to Brent about it and work out when he can be on again. Howard said he's not sure if he should be on.

  Benjy got on Gary's microphone and said he would like to go on next Tuesday. Howard said it's up to Brent and Gary. Benjy said if Howard says next Tuesday then he can get on. Howard said if he leaves him alone maybe he can go on once a quarter. Benjy asked if he can be on next week. Howard said no. He said that's the beef he has with Benjy. He said he says it's up to Gary and Brent and he keeps asking. Benjy tried to speak again. Howard said Benjy was at the writing meeting yesterday. He shocked him. Benjy said Howard was so fucking sexy at the meeting yesterday. He said the way he held his body and spoke was amazing. He said any woman or homosexual male in there would have been dripping. Benjy said Howard was so masculine. Howard said no kidding. He said he'll take that. Howard said he wishes there were some women in there. He said there were some but they weren't reacting like this. Benjy said Howard was just so strong as hell. He said he's such a leader. Howard told him to put him on the Wrap Up Show. Gary said they'll talk about it. Benjy said he was being serious. He said he would like to be on next Tuesday too. Howard said Brent and Gary will figure it out. Benjy wanted to do it now. Howard said no.

  Howard said for some reason Benjy came to the meeting. He said he got all charged up. Robin said She thought it was participation in the Wrap Up Show. Robin said maybe he thought he would get on more if he went to the meeting.

  Howard said one of their gay staffers thinks he was hot. Howard said that can't be. He said he is so foul and ugly. Robin told him to stop it. Howard said he knows it down in his core.

  Shuli got on Gary's microphone and asked why Benjy gets on and he doesn't get a chance. Howard said how about they do away with the Wrap Up Show. Gary asked if Brent thinks he should be on. Brent said how about Thursday. Benjy said he's fine with that. Shuli asked if he gets Tuesday. Howard said yes. Gary said Howard should take himself out of this. Shuli said he thinks Howard is sexy every day. Howard said give him Tuesday. Benjy wouldn't let it go. He kept asking if he's on every Thursday or just next Thursday. Howard said he just wants to go home. He said he still has to do a Steven Singer commercial. Howard said he's out of his fucking mind that Steve Bannon looking mother fucker. Gary said Ronnie just came in and asked ''Hey. What about me?'' Howard said he's on the main show. He said he can just do what he's supposed to do and drive a limo. Howard said he barely shows up for that.

  Robin read about President Trump's physical and the results that this Dr. Ronnie was giving. Robin said he gave a briefing on that yesterday and said he should be healthy for years to come. Robin had some audio of the doctor talking about the results.

  Robin read a story about the gymnastics doctor who allegedly molested a lot of young girls. Robin had some audio of some of the girls speaking out about what he did to them.

  Robin had some audio of Trump talking about the unemployment rate for women being the lowest it's been in 17 years.

  Robin said this weekend will be the second annual women's march and She had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard said he just got a note about Jon Hein looking like he wants to kill himself over this Benjy thing. Howard asked if he doesn't want it happening. Jon said it sounds like more and more people want to be on. Jason said Jon is really angry. He said he's standing there in that passive aggressive way. He said he's put off by the show being out of control. Howard said just do what you want. Jon said Jason will never be on the Wrap Up Show. He said that's just not true.

  Howard took a call from Ralph but told him not to call in at 11:15. Ralph said okay and hung up. Howard said what a shame. He said he was actually interested. He said he should have just said what he had to say.

  Robin read a story about Matt Damon apologizing for saying that there are degrees of sexual harassment and he had to apologize for that. Robin had some audio of Matt talking about what he said.

  Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.

• Thursday Replay Show. 01/18/18. 7:00am
  Here's what they played on today's replay show:
  • RIP Dolores O'Riordan. 01/18/18. 7:00am
  • Jane Fonda And Lily Tomlin. 01/18/18. 7:20am
  • Angry Political Guy Game. 01/18/18. 8:45am
  • New Letterman Show & Trump. 01/18/18. 9:05am
  • Football Reactions. 01/18/18. 9:45am
  • Ronnie's Twitter Porn. 01/18/18. 10:10am

  Today's show was over around 11:00am.

• Friday Replay Show. 01/19/18. 7:00am
  Here's what they played on today's replay show:
  • Jon Bon Jovi. 01/19/18. 7:00am
  • News, Protests & Body Odor. 01/19/18. 8:15am
  • Radio Hall Of Fame & Trump's Doctor. 01/19/18. 9:20am
  • Jimi Hendrix 75th Birthday. 01/19/18. 10:00am
  • Ronnie Shows Porn To Staff. 01/19/18. 10:35am

  Today's show was over around 11:00am.