Today's show was over around 12:15pm.
Howard had some audio of Marfan and Erik fighting on the air. He played a clip where Mike talked about what an asshole Erik was in high school. Erik and Mike hoped each other died. Howard said Erik got his wish. Erik said he's upset about this. He said he'll be forever in the Wack Pack. Howard said Erik is saying once he was sworn in he had to drop it all and make him a brother. Erik said yes. He said anyone in the Wack Pack is a brother or sister. Howard said they had a big conclave for the Wack Pack to see if Marfan would make it in. He said he has the vote where they decided. He had Jeff the Drunk giving his vote to put Mike in the Wack Pack.
Howard said it was a really intense thing getting Mike into the Wack Pack. Howard asked Erik how he keeps outliving everyone in the Wack Pack. He said he's like 400 pounds. Erik said he's not that much. He said he weighs 302. Howard asked how he outlives them. Erik said it's pure luck. Howard said Erik is out there with COVID and he's doing fine. He said that he weighs 7 Marfan Mikes. He said now Marfan is gone.
Howard said Shuli was the one who discovered Marfan Mike. He said he was pushing for him to be in the Wack Pack. Robin said they were expanding the Wack Pack because they were losing them. She said the got him in and then he died. Howard said it's terrible. He said he was Diamond Mike when he called in. He said they needed a better name so that's when they gave him the new name. Howard played a clip where they came up with the name.
Howard said he likes that they found out he didn't actually have Marfan. He said that it turns out it was something else. He played a clip where Mike revealed that. Mike told them that he just found out they don't know what he has but it's not Marfan's disease.
Howard said then he tried to change his name to Marfan-Less Mike. He said it's too hard to say.
Howard said he found this very unusual. He said it was interesting that Mike and Erik were enemies in high school. Robin said it was one source giving them two Wack Packers too. Howard said that Mike had a job too. He said that's unusual for a Wack Packer. He said he had a job in customer service. He said that's mind blowing to him. He said he role played with him to see how he did his job. He played a clip from that day.
Howard said imagine how desperate they were to hire Mike for that job. He said it's funny to him because you have to speak clearly to do customer service. Howard said you'd think that you'd pick up the phone and hear him and think you were being goofed on. Howard said he had the honor of swearing Mike into the Wack Pack. He said he remembers it like yesterday. He played a clip from that day. He said he was so excited about it and he brought his dad in with him.
Howard said his dad came in and hugged him. He said he had to put his hand over the bust of Beetlejuice that day too. He said they'll play that Wack Pack conclave on Sternthology today.
Robin asked how they lost him. Howard said they put him on a train and never saw him again. Howard said he was in the hospital after catching pneumonia back in 2019. He said he went back in a few weeks ago and didn't recover this time. He said he was great. He said he hopes Erik feels upset. Erik said he does.
Robin said Mike never mooched off the show like everyone else. Howard said that's true. He said he never did.
Howard played a song parody that Mike was part of. He said he was a great guy who made phony phone calls for them. He played a call he was part of where he was stuck in a vending machine.
Howard said they loved having Mike stuck in things. He said they have about a hundred calls where he's stuck in things. Robin asked how he never won the best phony phone call. Howard said the audience doesn't know how to vote.
Howard said he hopes Erik fees bad. Erik said he does. Howard asked how he will remember Mike. Erik said he will remember him as being inducted and losing him. Howard said Mike called into a show as a kid who was messed up by a vaccine. He said he has never played this on the show before. He said this is Marfan calling an anti-vax show. He played the clip of that call where Mike said his penis is messed up from the polio vaccine he got.
Howard said that's Mike doing some of his best work. He said rest in peace Mike. He asked Erik what that sound is in the background. Erik said it's text messages. Howard said he'd like Erik to change that sound. He said it sounds like wind chimes and he hates wind chimes. Erik said Mike will be missed. Howard said he sounds as sincere as OJ when his wife died. Erik said he is sincere. Howard said he did vote against Mike though. He said he was supposedly mean to him in high school.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to say that he finds Erik to be kind of annoying but he found it magnanimous that he accepted that he lost the election. He said maybe he's trying to hitch his wagon to the thing. He said as a Trump supporter he finds it interesting that he accepts the election results. Howard asked how silly it looks for Trump to go around screaming that he won the election. He said it's so child like. He said he can't be winning people over with that.
The caller said that the mid terms are going to be a blood bath for the democrat and he will probably win if he doesn't die on a toilet before 2024. Howard said he keeps seeing that in the news. He said he doesn't get how they know that.
The caller said from his observation looking in he sees that Biden's approval rating is low and here are other issues that are going to lead to that loss.
The caller said that Howard watches the worst TV possible. Howard said he's watching the Ray Donovan movie. He said that's not terrible. The caller told Howard to watch Liev Schreiber hosting Saturday Night Live. He said it was one of the greatest of all time. Howard said he loves that guy. He said he doesn't like Jon Voight as himself but he is a fabulous actor. Robin said if only someone would write lines for him in real life.
The caller said that he has this question for him. He said they did a sketch with Liev on Saturday Night Live and he's wondering if he and Beth watch people rehabbing their homes on HGTV or anything like that. Howard said no. He said he likes Beverly Hills Housewives and things like that. He said he finds it obnoxious. He said they're so damaged. He said he's not a renovating kind of guy.
Howard said whenever he spoke to Marfan Mike off the air he was a lovely guy. He said that he knows he struggled with his health the past few years. He said he feels bad for his family and he knows it must be painful for them. He said he hopes Erik is telling the truth about feeling bad about Mike. Erik said he is. Howard said Mike was like the Bob Saget of the Wack Pack. He said everyone liked him. He said the other good thing about him was that he didn't smell. Robin said he wasn't a mooch and he didn't smell. She said he had a job too. She said he was always pleasant to deal with too. She said that was unusual for a Wack Packer. Howard said they heard from Mike back in December and he was wondering if Adele was coming on the show. He said he remembers hearing that. He did his impression of Mike as he described the question.
Howard said Erik is mentally challenged and Mike wasn't. He said Erik is doing just fine.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she wasn't accepting of Mike but she knew he was sick and she reached out to him. She said that once he was inducted they were united. She said that she knows his family took good care of him. She said she never knew he took this turn for the worst. Howard asked how Marfan cramped her style. Mariann said there's touch competition getting to Howard to speak to him. She said it's very important to them. She said she knew that some people were upset. She said that Elephant Boy was too. Howard said he gets it now. He let her go and tried wrapping up with Erik. Erik said he and Elephant Boy aren't fighting anymore ether. Howard said he knew they were fighting too. He said it's nice that they patched things up. He said life is too short or too long as it is for Erik. Howard said he does enjoy Erik on the show. He said he's glad he has a clean conscience with Elephant Boy and Mike now.
Robin said she's also flying him in. Howard said that's a woman who really wants you. He said she could lose a finger. Erik asked if Howard has ever had that. Howard said he never has. He said a woman tried to do that to him when he was younger and he clenched up. He said he had never seen anything about that so he didn't know. He said he wasn't that into it.
Howard said Debbie deserves a purple heart if she goes through with that. He asked if he's going to let her try. Erik said he is. He asked if he wants video of it. Howard said sure. He said if Debbie is up for it they'll send someone along. Erik said maybe Chris can come. Howard said here we go. He asked if he wants Chris there to look at while he's getting the finger up his ass. Erik said it might help. Howard said he'll talk to Chris then. Erik said that would be good. Howard said he can stare at Chris wile Debbie is messing with him.
Howard asked Chris if he's interested in this. Chris said he is very afraid of COVID still so he's taking that seriously. He said it depends on the COVID numbers then. He said he's not sure right now. Howard said he's nervous about the COVID too. He said he can't believe that Erik hasn't gotten it yet. Erik said not at all. Chris said it makes you think less of COVID.
Howard said some people have no symptoms with this COVID. He said you'd think they would but they don't. He said then there are people who have it who are struggling. He said they're losing their sense of taste. He said he knows one person who lost it for 2 years now. Howard said he knows someone who lost their sense of taste recently and it's rough. He said it's just a fucking weird thing. Robin said everyone is worried about the lungs and all of that but it can attack every organ in the body. Howard said what about the penis. Robin said that too. She said the balls too.
Howard said this is something you have to be careful with. Robin said it's still in there affecting those other organs even when you think it's over.
Howard said he had Glenn Beck on the show years ago. He said he' didn't know how wacky he was. He said that Glenn is unvaccinated talking about having COVID and bragging about it.
Howard said he and Beth are going to go to the dentist but they're afraid of going. He said he's going to do it but he's hoping things will be safe. Chris asked what kind of gear he wears. Howard said he goes early. He said he goes in before a lot of people are there. He said the only person who sees him is the dentist and the hygienist. He said they wear shields. Howard asked if Robin has gone. Robin said she did have a cap that fell off and she went to get that fixed. She said she feels like she has to go again.
Howard had a clip of Glenn Beck talking about getting COVID and being on things like Ivermectin and things like that. He said he's not concerned about it. He said he's so done with the whole thing. He said we have got to move on with our lives. Howard said yeah, unless you die. He said he claims to have no vaccine and that's playing with fire.
Howard got back to Chris and Erik and said he's not sure that Chris will be going. Chris said that he's not sure that whole thing will ever happen. He said that she's a cum lady so why hasn't she blown him yet. Erik said it just hasn't happened. He said it's hard to schedule it. He said they made a date for April. Howard said she has no schedule. He said Erik should have driven down there. Erik said he hasn't gone yet. He said he has a busy schedule himself. Howard laughed.
Howard said he could send Dan Rather down with him if he wants. That led to a knock at the door and fake Dan Rather coming on to talk about how he'd take that assignment on if he wants. He said he'll bring a vomit bucket with him. He said that Erik is just disgusting. He said that he thinks that he'd be prepared for this since he saw Agent Orange burn the skin of a young girl. He said he thinks he'll be able to report the disgusting facts with Howard. He had Chris cracking up with the comments about how gross this is going to be.
Howard said Mr. Rather has seen so much and he's been in terrible areas. He said he imagines when the finger goes in Erik's asshole it'll release some portal to hell. Dan said it would be worse than the killing fields of Cambodia. He said he will be investigating why Erik hasn't gone to Florida yet. He said he believes that's because he's homosexual. Chris said that's what he thinks too.
Howard said he thinks this will be his greatest challenge so far. Dan said he thinks so too. He said it could be his last assignment.
Howard said he has Debbie the Cum Lady on the phone. He took her call and asked what she has to say. Debbie said that Erik is going to love this and love having her finger up his ass. She said it's going to make him feel amazing. Howard said she knows what she's dealing with, right? Debbie said she does. She said after this there will be no more rumors about him being a homosexual. She said she'll make everyone see the real Erik. She said it's going to be fun.
Howard asked Erik if he thinks he'll be able to get hard for her. Erik said he does. He said he's out in his truck right now and playing with himself since his home health aide is in his apartment. Robin asked if Howard understands what he just said. Howard said he does and explained it to her. Howard said he's sure there's no issue with him jerking off in his truck.
Fake Dan asked Debbie if she has been with a creature so vile as Erik before. Debbie said she has not but she's looking forward to it. She said she's going to give him a shower before they do anything.
Howard asked if Debbie plans on tonguing his ass. Debbie said she's going to work her way up to his ass and stick her tongue up there. Chris asked if she has any idea how far she's going to have to go. Debbie said she may have him sit on her face. Howard said that's very dangerous. Robin said that they should say goodbye to her right now if that's the case. Debbie said she's going to send Erik a video of herself masturbating thinking about Erik. Howard asked Erik what he thinks about all of this. Erik said he's at a loss for words. Chris said so are we.
Debbie said that she's going to make Erik feel great. She said she has some lotion that will make his penis tingle. Erik said he loves when his cock tingles. He said he had some strippers put lotion on his cock and it tingled.
Fake Dan made a vomiting sound and suggested that they read Debbie her last rites before they go through with this.
Chris said he enjoys cum so he's wondering what Debbie thinks this is going to be like. He said it's not going to be a nice load at all. Debbie said she thinks she will get a good load from him. She said she won't give up until she does.
Erik asked how many loads she usually takes. Debbie said two or three but the third one might be a very small one. Howard asked Erik if he has big loads. Erik said he does. Chris asked if he shoots out or seeps out. Erik said it shoots out. Debbie said that if he has to watch a TV show or whatever she's into whatever he wants to do.
Howard said it sounds like Erik is hoping that she gets him off a second time at lest. Erik said maybe 4 or 5 times. Dan said if he gets any of his ejaculate on him he will jump out the window.
Howard said he thinks Erik is on a ton of medication so that will affect this. Erik said he's on 25 medications. Chris asked what that would taste like. Debbie said it could taste kind of like medicine. Howard said her connection is so bad that he has to say goodbye. He said her phone is cutting out. Robin said it's like she's on a harmonizer. Howard said he had a lot of questions for her but her connection is so bad.
Howard said it sounds like the medication could affect Erik and that could get into Debbie's system. Erik asked if that can happen. Robin said it sure could. Howard wished Erik luck with all of that. Erik said he loves the guys on the show. Howard had Debbie back on the phone with a better connection. Debbie said she's going to make Erik cum like never before. She said don't listen to them. She said she will milk his prostate and they will make it happen. Chris said that she should just do it now then.
Howard asked if she's purchased the ticket already. Debbie said they were making arrangements yesterday. Howard said Mr. Rather was going got go down there. Fake Dan said he keeps wanting to say no but he thinks about what Edward R. Murrow would do and he's in a conundrum.
Howard asked Erik what day he's flying down. Erik said he's going to do it on April 16th. Debbie said they can do it sooner if they have to. Howard said they may have to turn this into a whole full day event on the channel. He said they can have live coverage. Debbie said whatever it takes. She said they can do it before April. Howard said this has been 2 years in the making. He said that Florida isn't in a different country. He said he can't say there's anything wrong with this but he thinks that she won't be able to get anything out of that penis. Robin said she doesn't believe he has a load that shoots out. Debbie said he can't masturbate for at least a week. She said it could be nice if he didn't take mediation for a week before. Erik said they're psychiatric medications.
Howard said Ass Napkin Ed wants to get in on this. He took his call and Ed said that he's working on going down there to meet Debbie and he wants to do it in February. Debbie said it's all the merrier. Howard asked why Ed is always trying to get in on his action. Erik said he might go down there tomorrow. Ed said he'll be down there in six hours. Howard said forget about Ass Napkin Ed right now. Chris asked if she would eat his ass with his worms. Debbie said she thinks she might. She said she would do the milking of the prostate. Debbie said she's into Erik right now. Howard said god bless her for wanting to do this. He said she's hungry for man juice. Debbie said she's the real deal too.
Howard said all he can say is that Dan Rather will cover it. He said that they could have it on Howard 100 or 101. He said they can have live coverage of the whole thing.
Howard said Debbie is an attractive woman. Erik said she really is. Debbie said she's going to send him some video too. Erik said he wants to do this. Chris said it's been 2 years already so just act on it. Erik said he and Debbie will talk and maybe it'll happen early. Howard said that Debbie is so hard core that she wants to blow family members. He said she wants to blow fathers and sons. She said cousins too. She said it's not about love. Howard said she just milks you like a cow. She said she has no feelings for any of the guys. She said if you can't cum then you're useless to her. Howard said he's thinking that they might have to do a Super Bowl half time show for this. He said they could have that going on during the game. He said it could be something interesting for that day.
Howard said he wants to say something. He just heard Debbie say that if you can't cum you're useless to her. He said Erik has to cum. Erik said he will. Debbie and Erik were talking over each other. Erik said that she can use a vibrator on him but no dildos. Fake Dan Rather said he's expecting a Peabody for this coverage. Debbie said he's going to love it. Howard said this is big. He said maybe the NFL will want to make this the real half time show. Erik said he'll drive down there to do it. He said he doesn't want to be on an airplane full of COVID.
Howard said it's amazing how smart Erik be becomes when he's into something. He said he knows when the Super Bowl is. Gary said it's actually on the 13th. Erik said he'll drive down on the 10th and smoke his cigars on his way down. Howard said hopefuls they can make this a live event on the channels. He said they can see if she lives up to her name. He said they'll find out.
Howard wrapped up with everyone. He let Debbie and Erik go and then took a call from fake Jennifer Witz who was saying Debbie will drain Erik and they're going to drain Spotify of their subscribers with this special. Her phone cut out as she was in the middle of that.
Howard said its too bad Marfan Mike isn't there to witness this. He wished Erik luck and he said if anyone can do this it's Debbie. Debbie said that she'll be in contact with Erik soon. Howard had her say something to Erik. Debbie told him what she's going to do to him and Erik said he's in his truck and he just came. Howard said that's enough of this. He said he has to get out of it. Howard let them go.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to let him know that he's had COVID twice and he's going back today to find out if he's going to have to have a lung transplant or not. Howard asked if he was vaccinated. The caller said he got it in May of 2020 the first time and then in November of 2020 so it was before the vaccination. He told Howard how bad things were for him.
Howard asked what he has to say to someone like Glenn Beck who refuses to get a vaccine. The caller said he knows people like that. He said he had no symptoms and he was diagnosed with something that destroyed his bronchial tubes. He said there's no cure for it. He said he's turning 60 soon so he's not that old. Howard said there are so many fucking weirdos who listen to the Glenn Beck's of the world. He said the guy isn't helping people telling them not to worry about this.
Howard said he and Beth are worried about going to the dentist. He said it's just a weird time. He said he has to talk about someone else who died but they have to take a break. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he loves this album ''Exile on Main Street.'' He said he thinks this song is on that album. He said it's really good. Howard said he's played this song a hundred times and he still doesn't know the lyrics. He explained why the album was named the way it was.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he knows he's very pro-vaccine and he wondered if he heard about the herpes vaccine. Howard said they've been talking about it for years. He said that he hasn't heard about this new one. The caller said it's getting close. He said he was one of the guinea pigs back in 2016 for it. He told Howard about what they did with him and he's had herpes since he was 19 and he's in his 50s now. He said he had a friend get him in touch with this guy who was running the tests. Howard asked what happened. The caller explained what happened with him to reduce his symptoms. He said he went 2 years without symptoms at one point. Howard said that's a good thing. The caller said it is.
Howard let the caller go and thanked him for the update. He said he's very pro-vaccine. He said that he'd take it if it's going to help.
Howard said he wants to mention the death of Ronnie Spector. He said that she passed away while they were off. He played some of her music. He said she was 78 and had a brief battle with cancer. He said she used to come on the shows in the 80s and 90s. He said she was married to Phil Spector for a few years. He said she tried to warn the world about him back then. He said Phil was a nightmare according to the book she wrote. He said that she had to escape from the guy. He said she went on to have a great solo career. He said she had a hit song in 1986 with Eddie Money.
Howard said Ronnie was on the show in 1987. He said she admitted she was attracted to him and he had never heard anything like that. He played some audio from the show back when she said he looks better than Phil. She said this guy is a fox.
Howard said she even admitted on national radio that she thought about him in bed. He said they didn't even believe it. Howard played another clip where she talked about thinking about him in bed with her husband.
Howard said that Ronnie told them that she went out with David Bowie. She also told them that she turned down John Lennon for Phil Spector. He played some audio from the show back when she talked about that.
Howard said Billy Joel was inspired by her voice. He played a clip of Billy talking about that during an interview.
Howard said rest in peace Ronnie Spector. He said she was always a friend to the show. He said it's difficult to say goodbye to someone who was attracted to him. He asked why her. He said he's not sure what happened to his face but he's suffering horribly.
Howard said the can have some bets on what it looks like when it comes out and things like that. Howard said they're going to try their best to make this happen.
Howard said Jason agrees there will be no cum. Chris Wilding thinks that he won't even get hard. He said Benjy believes that Erik will cum. He said he's always the contrarian.
Howard said he was said to see that Whoopi Goldberg has COVID. He said she was sidelined from The View. He said she's back at work now. He said she did well with it. He said they're trying to find a conservative co-host for the show and they're having a hard time with that. He said it's hard to find someone because it's just women yelling at you. He said they need to find someone qualified for the position. Howard played a clip from the show where they didn't let Meghan McCain get a word in when she tried.
Howard said they had a woman from FOX News on to test but she said no because it's so rough over there. Howard said no one wants the job. Robin said it was the way it was set up that way to have one conservative there. Howard said it's hard to find a conservative Republican. He said that it might mean that the My Pillow guy and John F. Kennedy are going to be in the Supreme Court. He said that Ted Nugent might be the only person who would take that job. He said he doesn't seem to back down to anyone.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it as fake Whoopi Goldberg who was coughing up a storm. She said she'd take Typhoid if it meant a day off from that show. Howard said it sounds like she still has COVID. Whoopi said she's still dealing with some stuff. She said she shits herself when she sneezes. She said just a little bit comes out. She demonstrated what that sounds like. She also showed the difference between her different coughs. She had a COVID cough and one from her vape pen.
Howard asked Whoopi about some possible hosts for The View. Whoopi was telling him how many vapes she'd have to do to take those people. Howard said he could listen to her smoke all day long.
Howard suggested Sarah Palin as a co-host. Whoopi said she's a 3 hit. She took three hits off her vape pen. She sneezed and shit herself again.
Howard said he's out of names. Robin suggested Jeanine Pirro. Whoopi said she'd be a bunch of hits and some heroin. She took another hit before Howard let her go. She took a long hit and then started shitting herself. Howard said it smells like weed and shit all together in there.
Howard said he loved her in Ghost. Robin said she heard she had COVID and she was thinking about what a hard time she had with pneumonia a few years ago. Howard said he's never heard someone cough and fart at the same time.
Howard asked if he taped himself crying. JD said someone does have video of tears coming down his face.
The caller said that no one in the history of the world had ever sent a text with the Bengals winning. He said that the hadn't won since before 1992. He said that the Bills fans threw a dildo on the field too.
Howard said it's weird when someone cries over a game. He said JD didn't do anything there. He said he knows men are into it but he doesn't get it. JD said it must have to do with his dad. He said he saw him root for them. Howard said his dad never did it with him around if he did it. He said he never watched football. He said he watched baseball and would berate him over it. He said he had a fantasy about having a son and being able to talk about sports. He said he hears about it with fathers and sons and going to games but he never had that.
Howard said he's not sure why but Richard's dad seemed to like Richard. He said he had fun with his son. He said he can't relate to that.
Howard asked JD if he thinks that the Bengals will be the champions or will it fall apart. JD said they face the Titans this week. He said the Bills fans are out of control lately. He said that they're throwing dildos on the field. Gary got in on the talk too and told Howard about what happened when the dildo was thrown on the field.
Howard said Jon Hein is a big football fan and he says there's no way the Bengals are going to the Super Bowl. Jon got on and said he thinks they could potentially beat the Titans this weekend. He said there is no way they can beat the Chiefs or Bills. He said he texted JD about their win but there's no way they can get into the Super Bowl. He said Howard isn't a sports fan so he doesn't get it but the only time he saw his late father cry was when the Rangers won. He said that he gets why JD would shed a tear.
Howard said that's kind of upsetting. He said he has never seen his father cry in front of him. He said he's seen anger and things like that but never tears. He said that he doesn't know if his father has shown any emotion. He said he asked him about his mother being killed and if he cried over that. He said his father said it was alright. He said he claims he cried but he said he said you just have to go on with your life. He said he must have felt very little in his life.
Howard said he broke down in tears listening to that woman from Alabama Shakes. He said it's Brittany Howard. He said she does a version of that tune ''You'll Never Walk Alone'' and it's really something. He played the version that his father sang in a recording session when he was a kid. He laughed at that version. Howard said Debbie the Cum Lady is going to blow Erik to this song.
Howard said this Brittany Howard is something. He played her version of the song. He said listen to this. Howard played the song and said that's worth crying over, fuck the Bengals.
Howard said he told Beth he was crying over that song and she told him to stop listening to it and listen to show tunes. He said that actually is a show tune. Robin said she has a point because why listen to something if it makes you upset. Howard said he knows. He said he does like that.
Howard asked the guys what they think about what's going to happen. Jon said he thinks the Rams can beat Tampa. Howard said they think they can but then they can't beat Tom Brady. Jon said in the AFC the have the Bengals and they're looking great. JD said he's trying to reverse jinx them. Howard asked if he's 8 years old. JD said this is just what Jon does. Jon said he thinks that the Bengals can win against the Titans. He said they'll play the winner of the game between the Chiefs and Bills. He said that will be a fantastic game. He said he thinks that it'll be the Chiefs who beat the Bengals and they'll go to the Super Bowl. Jon said the other team will probably be Tampa Bay playing the Chiefs again. Richard said they will win this time... Go Chiefs!
Howard said Richard has put on some weight. Richard said he has been running but not very fast. He said he shaved his head recently. Robin said he used to have a long mane of hair. Richard said that was a long time ago. He said with two kids and work there's not much time to run now. He said he used to run 7 miles a day. Howard said he looks like Lex Luthor now.
Richard was saying he hopes Tom Brady loses. Jon said Richard hates Tom Brady so much he wont watch the Super Bowl if Tom Brady is in it. Richard said he's just tired of Tom Brady. Howard asked if he'll watch it if the Chiefs are in it. Richard said he will but he won't if Tom Brady is in it and they're not. He said last year's game still haunts him to this day.
Howard said he heard that Richard's wife tweets during the Eagles games. JD said sometimes she'll just tweet out one word like ''Fuck!'' in the middle of a game.
Howard said he thinks it's great that we were alive at this time when Tom Brady won so much. He said the guy is amazing. He said it doesn't make sense to him that Richard won't watch him. Richard said he terrorized the Chiefs so much over the years. Howard said he should admire that because he's a horror movie fan.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it would be so great if they had this half time show with Erik. He said they could call it the Bung Bowl. Howard said he is going to do whatever he can in his power to have Debbie and Erik have some kind of coverage during half time. He said that will be very exciting. He asked if you really want it to be on during Super Bowl Sunday. He said Erik may not be able to cum. He said that everyone will tune over to hear that and if he cums that's great but if it goes on and on them it could take 2 days for it to be done. He said you'd miss all of the action.
Howard said he's going to have a meeting over this and find out what they can do. He said he's going to see if this is a reality or not. He said they'll pass that information along to you once they do that. Richard said he thinks that Erik won't even be able to get hard. He said they did a bit in the studio once and he wasn't able to get hard for something they did.
Howard said Erik is a guy who has a penis that looks like a vagina. He said that's a given. He said the idea that he even wants cameras there is shocking. He said he was never able to finish on camera. He said that he may not be able to get hard. He said now he's even older and he may have a harder time doing it. JD said he doesn't think he'll even make it down to Florida. Jon said they can take bets on all of that. He said he thinks that the odds are against him even getting hard.
Howard said Erik wants cameras in the room and wants Chris wilding here to look at. He said it's such a weird thing.
Richard said they did a bit with Erik where they wanted an Alfred Hitchcock image and they tried to get him to do it with his small penis but it was so small it didn't even show up in the picture so they had to use a piece of chalk.
Chris said they did a bit where he had to try to find Erik's penis and he thinks it was under 2 inches. He said it looks like a button and there's nothing there. Howard said Erik is proud of it too. He did his impression of Erik asking him what he thinks about it. He said you doesn't even see balls because it's so small.
Howard said if this does happen they'll be there to cover it. He said keep an eye out for it. The caller thanked him for that and everything they do. Chris said he's with JD and thinks he won't make it to Florida. Howard said he does drive. He said he could make it down there. Howard said he would have driven to Alaska to get laid as a young man. Chris said he went all the way to Panama to get laid. He said he figured it all out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he should be goofing on Richard about naming his son after Carson Wentz. He said he turned out to be a piece of trash. Howard said he tried to talk him out of doing it. Jon told Howard some stories about Wentz and how that all turned out. Richard said they'll just tell him he was named after Carson Daily then. Howard said they're all over the place. He said he named his kid after a guy who wont even be a starting quarterback in the NFL next year. Richard said it's still a good name.
Howard said they're all excited for JD and his team. He said that it sounds like Erik won't make it to Florida. Jon said Erik is very savvy and he could end up surprising some people. He said the odds will be against him though. Howard said this is a guy who was paid to be in a porn and he wasn't able to get an erection. He said he was much younger then. He said now he's older and on 25 medications. He said that has to affect you in some way. He said JD must know about that. JD said he's only on a high blood pressure medication. He said he's fine. Howard said his bet would be that Erik will make it to Florida. He said he'll just be a contrarian there. He said there will be no hard on and no cumming. He said that there's a lot to bet on there. He said the timing of it will be very long. He said Erik will be saying he doesn't know what's going on. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said that was a karate show they called into. He also sang along with the Oasis song. Howard said sing it for me mother fucker. He said he had a good line for a song today but he can't remember what it was. He said it'll come back.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who said what a show it's been today. He said it's disgusting. He said Debbie has to be the grossest Wack Packer we've ever had. He said why not have a Wack Pack Bukakke show if they're going to do this. Howard said this is the problem with the audience. He said that they just wanted to have Erik and Debbie and listen in to find out if she can get him to cum. He said now this guy wants them to do a Bukakke thing with a whole gang of people. He said everyone wants to go even further.
Howard said pulling off Super Blow Sunday will be hard enough to pull off. Howard did his impression of Mike calling in with that request and making up more stuff they could do for that special. Howard said this is what he sounds like. He said they can't just make this stuff happen. He said it has to happen organically. Mike said that Ed has to be more disgusting than Erik is. Howard said Debbie wants to blow Erik. He said that's great drama. He said they don't know if he'll even make it down there. Robin said how about Mike does a gang bang and does that.
Howard made up more stuff they could have Erik doing. He had the whole thing happening on the White House front lawn. Howard suggested Debbie blow Marfan Mike's corpse and stuff like that.
Howard said he thinks this Erik thing is enough. He was doing his impression of Mike making even more suggestions to cram into the special. Howard told Mike to go and fantasize about something else.
Howard said Ass Napkin Ed is also trying to get in on this thing. Howard took Ed's call and Ed said he can beat Erik to Florida. Howard said of course he can. He said that Erik has been saying this for 2 years. He said that he's pretty sure that Ed can cum. Ed asked who he thinks has a nicer ass. Howard said ''Hmm...'' He said Ed has worms in his ass. He said that's frightening. He said he has to get out of this whole conversation. He hung up on Ed.
Howard said he has to talk about the fan feedback. He said he's also fascinated with Pete Davidson. He said people get angry over the guy. He said he's getting laid so he's happy for him. He said he was being considered for hosting the Oscars. He said that Tom Holland was also being considered. He said everyone seems so jealous. He said these news people go berserk over it. Howard played some reactions from newscasters. They were upset with just the thought of it happening.
Howard said go for it Pete. He said people were angry with him because he was gross. He said people are angry at Pete for dating women they think he doesn't deserve. Robins said he's not forcing them to date him. Howard said now the rumor is that Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez might host. Robin said that's not a bad idea either. Howard said they said that Pete had some informal conversations and it's not happening.
Howard said he saw that Michael Rapaport got COVID. He said he called into the show saying he has to go live his life. He said now he has COVID.
Howard said he also saw that Wend Williams has been off of her show. He said Mike was filling in for her from time to time with other's rotating. He said he had no idea her show was so important that they had to keep it going. Robin said they must have had commitments to stations around the country. Robin said she's not sure how long her contract was.
Howard read some fan feedback about his birthday. He said the Goo Goo Dolls tweeted out to him. He said Tabitha Stevens also wished him a happy birthday. He said a radio host at a TV station in Atlanta tweeted out about his birthday. He said that Marianne Garvey tweeted out something nice about his birthday. He said that Sour Shoes made him a message. He said he has no idea what he's talking about in this message. He played the crazy message he did where he was using that baby voice he does. Howard said this message irritated the fuck out of him. He said he hates that baby voice.
Howard said Jeff the Drunk tried calling in on Wednesday but he didn't pick p and then Jeff got upset and tweeted out an angry tweet. He read that tweet where Jeff got upset with the show and said he's done with them. Howard had a video message he left as well. Jeff said fuck Howard for being that way. He said Gary probably has a lot to do with that. He said fuck them all over there.
Howard said there you have it. He said some of the fans think that he should stop blaming him and get over it. Howard read some feedback about that.
Howard said Jeff did leave a message with Chris Wilding on December 19th. He said that Jeff blocked him after he did that. He said Chris is the one who he gets in contact with to get on the show.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he wants to tell him about Kanye. He said he also knows a pair of slippers that he'd love. He said he bought two pair. He said that Kanye is hated by Kim Kardashian. He said he keeps trying to get into her life. He said Pete Davidson is the man right now. He said he knows Kanye hurts but you can't look like a pussy like that. He said if his wife said you can't come to the house and see the kid then he's not going to come there. Howard said alright. He said maybe he should be calling Kanye instead of him. King said he can't get a hold of that guy. He said if Beth came to him and told him he'd be happy with someone else then you know she hates you. Howard said if you're desperate then you try to hold on. He said a lot of people don't have it so easy so they hold on.
Howard said he has to get back to the email. He let King go and got back to the fan feedback. Howard said on Wednesdays show they talked about the great music performances on his birthday shows. He got some feedback about that. He read through a few comments about that discussion.
Howard read some feedback about the JDini bit they did last week. Howard said he had a bad reaction to the whole thing. He played some audio of JD doing his thing. Howard read some feedback about the bit. People were telling him to leave JD alone and let him do his thing.
Howard said he had some comments on Novak Djokovic last week and people wrote in about that. He said they heard from Kathy Griffin about that. He read some comments from the fans about that as well. He went through a few comments from people who were upset with him for being against him.
Howard said he thinks that's enough. He said they'll be back tomorrow. He wrapped up the show and ended it around 10:20am.
Howard asked if Robin is doing something different with her makeup. Robin said she is. Howard said she looks good and she did it yesterday too. Robin said she plays around with stuff all the time. She said it's the only art she can do. Howard said it is an art. He said when women, or Sal, do makeup it is an art. He said Robin has been able to replicate it. He said it is an art. Robin said when the talk about painting or writing it's the tool that changes. Robin said it changes how well she can do something. Howard asked what tool it is that she's found. He asked her to share with women, and Sal, out there. Robin said she uses a lot of pencils. Howard said good for you. Fred played her news music theme and Howard sang along to that about how amazing she is. Howard said the past two days have been an absolute joy. He said he has to look at her the whole show so if anyone benefits from it, it's him. Fred played some Lenny Dykstra clips about Robin. Robin said you might excite someone you don't want to. Fred had him sweet talking her and telling her she needs it and wants it.
Howard said he was going to say that he hasn't spoken to Bobo in the new year. He took his call and Bobo said he's so relieved that he took him out of the Wack Pack. He said he's freaked out that so many of them are dying. Howard said the last time he put him back in it. Bobo said he took him out. They went back and forth on that and the both insisted they were right.
Howard said Bobo has bugged the piss out of him about the Wack Pack and he's been like a woman. He said he's begged him to be in the Wack Pack. He said he has told him that he wanted to be in it. He said that the fans didn't want him in it but he put him in there. He said he gave him his wish. He said now he want out. He said he's calling him about being freaked out and he wants out. He said there is no out. He said once you're in you're in. He said it's like the Mob. He said you can't get out. He said if you want out he has to do something. He said this is what he has to do. He said Bobo is always calling wanting to be in it. He said now he thinks it's a death curse. He said he has to lose his name Bobo if he calls in. He said he's back to Steve from Florida. He said number 2 is that anything he has in his house as a shrine he wants back. He said the shrine is over. He said he will no longer attend an special events he has. He said he can't ask for tickets or anything that the Wack Pack has going on. He said the Bobo Week special they have planned is off now. He said that no more Bobo puppet if he's out. He said they're burning it today. Bobo said oh no. Howard said the Cameo thing he has going on has to go too. He said that has to be removed. He said he's Steve from Florida now. Bobo said that's only if he agrees to it. Howard said no way. He said he's out.
Howard said on Twitter and Instagram he has to get rid of his name. He said if he wants out he's out. Bobo said he told him he wasn't in. Howard said he has to take all references of the Howard Stern Show off of his jackets and stuff. Bobo said he didn't say that he doesn't like the Wack Pack. He said he's just freaked out by it.
Howard told Bobo to raise his right hand. Bobo asked him to keep him in. Howard told him to repeat after him. Bobo said no way. He said now he wants back in. Howard said if he ever calls again with this nonsense he's stripping him of his powers. He said never call him again with that bullshit.
Bobo asked what's going on with the NFL players. Howard hung up on him saying he disgusts him. He said he used to call every day asking to be in the Wack Pack. He said now he wants out. He said he cried like a woman. He said he makes him Wack Pack and now he wants to be out.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that everyone dies and he has the privilege to be in the Wack Pack and he wants out, shame on you. She said that he can't get privileges to anything. She said she can't believe what's going on in this world. Howard said this guy calls him first thing and he puts him on and he says the Wack Pack is cursed. Mariann said she's in the Wack Pack and she's thrilled about it. Howard said that he turned his back on his family.
Howard got Bobo back on the line to talk to Mariann. Howard said Mariann went to bat for Bobo to get him in the Wack Pack. Mariann asked if he can have a second chance. She said it's a big day in history so what is he thinking. Howard asked Mariann if she said that she was rejected from choir. Mariann said she was. She sang for Howard to show why she was rejected. Howard said he wants her to do her best. She sang and Howard asked if that's really how she sings. Mariann kept singing.
Howard had Bobo back on the phone and he said that he was the one who said that he shouldn't be in it. He said that's all he was saying. Howard said he's back in. Mariann went off on him telling him to get on his knees now and ask for forgiveness. She said that he has to get over this. Howard said he already straightened him out. Bobo said he had a moment of insanity. Howard let Mariann go after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said you can't let him out. He said once you're in you're in for life. Howard said he'll take him out but all of his privileges will be gone.
Howard took another call from a guy, Cliff, who said that he doesn't think Bobo appreciates what he has and he will be Bobo from Maine from now on. Howard said he's renaming this guy Bobo from Maine right now. He said he's so disgusted with Bobo right now. He said he wants out of the Wack Pack. Howard said it's so much better being Bobo than being Steve from Florida. Howard said Cliff should call him with some bad questions as Bobo from Maine.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he doesn't know what Bobo's problem is but he should get rid of him and forget him. Howard said he's just about ready to do that.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who he thought had quit the show yesterday. Jeff said he didn't quit. He said he's in the Wack Pack and he doesn't take his calls. Howard said here we go. He said that Jeff was going to get a complement yesterday but he heard that message about not being put on the air and he didn't mention it. He said he blew it. He said he could have had huge cameo money coming in. He said yesterday was going to be his big day. He said he blew it. Jeff said he's trying to get his Social Security back so he's off of Cameo. Howard said good. He said it's a good thing he put Marfan Mike in the Wack Pack. He said he could have been a part of that whole obituary yesterday but he's such a traitor. He said he and Bobo should get married. He said he's just like Bobo. Bobo said he never hung up on Howard ever. Howard said he just said he wanted out of the Wack Pack. Bobo said he never disrespected the show like this ingrate does. He said he never quit the show. He said he lives the show 24/7. Howard said he just quit the Wack Pack because he's afraid of dying. Jeff said fuck you to Bobo. They went back and forth arguing a little bit.
Howard asked what he has done to deserve this. Jeff said he never takes his calls. Howard said he can't take his call all the time. He said they've been over this. Jeff said that they were talking about football and he wanted to talk about that. Howard said he has a radio show he's doing there. He said he didn't want to talk to him. He said he's insulting his intelligence. Jeff said he's a big Bills fan and he wanted to talk about that yesterday. Howard said these two have to stop their crying. He said the saddest thing about betrayal is that it comes from a friend and not from an enemy.
Howard let Jeff go after that. He took a call from Wendy the Slow Adult (clips) who said that she doesn't want Bobo in the Wack Pack. She went back and forth with yes and no. She threw up and shit herself when the guys played her clips. Howard let Bobo go a short time later.
Howard said this is a bit. He said they conducted a mock job interview with Tan Mom. He said they asked her a question about how she'd deal with conflict on the job. He played a clip of Tan Mom talking about how she'll ask someone why they're staring at her and it's rude.
Howard said they wanted to see how Tan Mom would deal with friction in the office. He said one of their guys hired her to fire some employees in the office of this fake company. He said the company is called Sales, Sales, Sales. He said this is ''Greg'' and he asked her to do this for him.
Howard played a clip of Greg talking to Tan Mom about what she had to do for him. He told her that she has to fire someone for being too good looking. Howard asked if she'll do it. Robin said she thinks so. Howard said Tan Mom has dealt with these people and she has no idea that they work there even though she's met them before. Howard said that she has no idea. Howard played the clip of Tan Mom telling the guy that he was fired.
Howard said that's cold. He said that's something she's good at. He said that she just did it. Howard said he wonders what's wrong with her. He said the guy playing Michael she knows but she doesn't recognize him. He said that Chris Wilding once played an 8 year old and she bought it. He said it's amazing. Robin said it must be great that everyone she meets is new to her.
Howard said next Tan Mom has to fire Roberta because she won't date the boss. Howard played the clip of Tan Mom telling her that she's fired over that. She told him that she should either blow him or get out.
Howard said it's not crazy. He said the blow job thing worked for Fred. He said that's why he's still there.
Howard said that Tan Mom was asked to fire a guy for having a weird vibe. He said Benjy played the part of this guy. Howard played that clip and Greg asked her to fire Denny. Tan Mom said he's fired. She told him to get the fuck out of the room. She told him to take that wig off his head. Benjy asked why she was doing this. She said she can do whatever she wants. She told him to shut the fuck up. She said he's fired.
Howard said wow. He said that sounds like when they got fired from WNBC. He said he likes that Benjy asked if it was a racial thing because she's black and he's white.
Howard said after that Greg evaluated Tan Mom on her work. He played a clip of Greg said he has to fire her. Tan Mom said she's going to fire him. Greg asked her to fire herself. Tan Mom said she will take him to a different level. She said he's fired and got off the line. Howard said there it is. He said she did not like being fired.
Robin asked if Tan Mom has ever had a job. Howard said he thinks she did at some point. He said he thinks they talked to her about that. Robin said she can't imagine she could hold a job.
Sal said that she worked in finance. He said they gave her a test once and she passed with flying colors. He said it was a math test and questions about finance and she was great at it. He said she was a different person. Robin said they have to hear that. She said she can't believe that. Howard thanked Sal for that.
Howard took a call from a woman who thanked him for radio gold this morning. She said she works in labs in Canada. She said he has made her drive to and from work great. She said he makes her laugh and cry. She said she loves it. Howard thanked her for that.
Howard said they were hired up in Canada on a couple of stations and they went right to number 1 in a day. He said they were able to tell because of the way they did ratings up there. He said they were really good up there. He said they were great. He asked who goes to number 1 in a day. He said the people abandoned all of the other shows. He said of course the Canadian government clamped down and had him off the air in a week. He said they could not live with the idea that American content took over Canadian radio. He said it was national pride that was so offensive to them that they had to get rid of him. He said he took over in one day. He said they have rules up there to play music from Canadians before American artists. He said when he came in up there they were reeling. He said the government made up that he was disgusting and the came up with a bunch of things about him not being fit to be on Canadian radio. He said they threw him off. He said to see a lovely woman like that call in was very nice. He said she's able to hear them on SiriusXM up there.
Howard asked if you can imagine what it was like for broadcasters up there when he came in. He said no one was listening to the other shows. He said it's an amazing story.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he thinks about letting the pandemic run wild and let it run through the unvaccinated. Howard said the thing is that its already happening. He said if it was up to him he wouldn't let anyone who is unvaccinated into the hospitals. He said that they have been told they will die if they're unvaccinated. He said they don't trust the government and they think they're being turned into a magnet or something crazy. He said that he's taken the vaccine 3 times and the worst side effect was a slight headache. The caller said he's okay letting COVID go through the unvaccinated. Howard said he knows some people who have it and are vaccinated. He said these people who are unvaccinated are getting away with it. He said this wouldn't have happened in his parents generation. He said they wanted to do good for their neighbors. He said no one was conspiring against each other. He thanked the caller for the call.
Robin said she heard that 94 percent of the people in the ICU are unvaccinated people. Howard said that he has friends and family who are in the health care field and the say that it's the unvaccinated who are clogging up the hospitals. He said if you don't believe in the vaccine then you shouldn't believe in the emergency room.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a bright spot in his morning. He said he loves what they talk about with all of this. He thanked him for all of that. Howard said he'll take that.
Howard said 63 percent of the country is vaccinated. He said 77 percent of Canadians are vaccinated. He said that's why he likes Canada so much. He said that he had a discussion with Robin off the air about how under certain circumstances this country could turn into a dictatorship. He said Trump was trying to make that happen. He said that the republicans in power now are not the same as they used to be. He said these guys are a disgrace. He said anyone who is protecting this guy Trump are a disgrace. He said for people willing to give up the democracy is just wrong. He said they have to get rid of this electoral college. He said his vote there in New York is wasted. He said they have a huge population of people but they have just two senators. He said they have the same amount as where Mitch McConnell comes from. He said we have millions and this whole thing is out of wack. He said this agenda is being forced on us by the minority. He said he and Robin were making plans to get out of this country. He said that if the shit hits the fan they want to get out. He said he thinks they're very close to losing our democracy. He said that there are people who are for this misinformation. He said he doesn't blame Trump but he does blame the people who back up this misinformation.
Howard said the country isn't perfect but it's the best country he know. He said the best president was George Washington because he turned down being king. He said the people wanted him to be king but that's what they came to this country to get away from. He said when George Washington also had everyone get inoculated against Small Pox. He said he made everyone do it to stop it. He said he was a great president. Robin said this is history. Howard said that if you don't want to read a book he understands it. Howard said he's convinced that we're coming down to a civil war in this country. He said Canada is a good place to go. He said Robin wants to move to a warm place but they have a lot of crack pots in those countries. He said that if this country falls then England will fall next. He said they've gotten nutty too. Robin said they have to go to a Scandinavian country. Howard said he mentioned that too. He said that they could go to Sweden or somewhere like that. He said the might still have some freedom there. Robin said that even if there's a world war they stay out.
Howard said things are bad and if you think they're not then you're not reading the newspaper. He said he likes Australia too. He said they kicked that tennis player right out for not being vaccinated. He said that he loves this country so much but it's gotten so wacky. He said there's a lot going on there.
Howard said he sees people saying that Trump won the election and there's no evidence of it at all. He said that people just go along with Trump's lie. He said the guy has been lying since the first day. He said the guy is insane. He said he doesn't blame Donald but he does blame the people who follow him and push this and want to give up democracy. He said you'll be living in a nightmare if he takes over.
Robin said the FCC dropped the ball and didn't prepare us for 5G cell service. She said that the have to keep it away from some airports because the airlines are saying airplanes will fall from the sky if it's used. She said that the FCC and the FTC dropped the ball on all of that.
Howard answered a knock on the door from Mitch McConnell and he wasn't speaking. Howard said he must be pissed because he just sat there staring at them. Howard closed the door on him.
Howard had some audio of Sal talking about how to astral project. In the clip Sal said you try to sleep and then you try to fight sleep so you can leave your body. He said you imagine a rope in the room and you pull your soul out of your body. He said he tried that and it didn't work so he gave up.
Howard said Sal explained how he does the soul thing and what the difference is between the body and the soul.
Howard said this is the most childish stuff. He said he's so convinced of his nonsense. Pamela said he's a dope. Robin said he thinks everyone else is a dope because they don't understand it. Pamela said he misuses words a lot too.
Howard said Sal has gotten to know a bunch more bird sounds too. He said he loves the guy though. Howard asked how long he's worked there now. Sal said it's 17 years.
Howard said they recently asked Sal what he would change about himself if he could change just one thing. Howard said Sal said he wouldn't change one thing. He said he's happy with everything. Robin said that can't be true. Pamela asked about his hair. Sal asked what about it. He said he's happy with it all. Sal said he won't change a thing.
Howard thanked Pamela and let her go. Howard asked Sal if he can do impressions of the bird sounds. Sal said he's working on the red cardinal but it' hard. He did an impression of that sound. Howard asked if the birds come around when he does that. Sal said they do not. He said he hears the cardinals out there when he meditates so that's a sign from his guardian angels that they're there for him. He told a story about a cardinal being in his yard on Christmas morning and it came within 5 feet of him. Howard said how about this, he had a bird fly by him when he was on a walk. Sal said the bird must have been very thankful to him for not eating birds. He said that we're all one. Howard said when the bird walked on his deck it was amazing. He asked how he explains it when a bird was on his deck. Sal said we all see birds but a red cardinal comes it's a sign from someone in heaven. Howard asked if Sal thinks that he's talking to birds and butterflies more now because his wife talks to him less now. Sal laughed.
Robin asked Sal what the sign was with the thing that she sent to him. Sal said there was a song playing and the gift came when he was listening to that. He said the song was about being a better person around other people. He said he thought about Robin and how she's the kind of person he wants to be around. Howard said he's going to throw up from this. He said get away from him. He said if someone was going to get signs it would be someone more important like Howard Stern.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Sal is the guy who wanted to lay in bed with Howard and watch The Bachelor. Howard said Sal is a strange guy. He said there's a lot of things that he says that are out there. He said Sal didn't get why Ralph was at his house and he wasn't. He said now no one comes to his house.
Howard asked Sal why he won't quit vaping. Sal said he's addicted to it. Robin asked why his guardian angels don't help. Sal said that he went to a specialist and he was told that he looks like he's never smoked. He said that he's in good shape. Howard asked if that's the same doctor who touched his balls. Sal laughed and said that's not her.
Howard took a call from Sal's fake wife who went off on him about the bird thing and talked to him as a bird. She said that he makes her fucking sick with these stories. She said the squirrels talk to Sal for 2 minutes and then run straight into traffic.
Howard asked why Sal's wife chose Sal. She said she doesn't know. She said they were young and he was charming. She said she thinks back and she should have known. She said she thought it was funny when they were young. She said she didn't know it was going to be like this. She said she thought he was kidding about the bird stuff.
Robin asked how the astral projecting is going. Sal said it's not working. Howard let Sal go. Robin asked if they asked where he wants to go. She was laughing hysterically. Howard played him off with a song parody. Howard did a live commercial read and said that next Tuesday Johnny Knoxville will be joining them. He said he has the best Instagram account out there. He said last night they had a video of a girl getting out of a car and she put her head through a window. He said it was crazy but funny. He did another live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said he loves this song when Lauryn Hill comes in and sings. He asked if they ever found out why they broke up. Robin said she thought they were back together. Howard said he thought this woman was the greatest. He said he wants to know where her career is. He said he doesn't see her on Saturday Night Live or anything. Robin said sometimes people aren't easy to work with. Howard asked if that's the case. He said let her do her own thing. Howard said maybe she astral projected away. Howard said that's such a good song. He said she was some package. He said she had it all.
Howard read that the band broke up and it said that it had to do with Lauryn Hill and Wyclef Jean dating and Lauryn lied to him about her baby being his or something. Howard asked where that came from. Gary said he doesn't know. He said he saw her years ago doing a concert and she kept tapping on her ear and she did all of her songs and it was awesome but she wasn't happy with the sound. Howard said his mom was irritated by everything too so maybe that's why he's attracted to her.
Howard said the stuff he was reading came from Wyclef's book. He said that's an interesting story. He said that's not her side of the story though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has some insight into COVID. He said he's a COVID coordinator in Virginia. He said he sets up the vaccinations and stuff. He said people have become so selfish and rude. He said he has events for 3 hours and people wait for the last minute to show up. He said he has to get the specimens back in 30 minutes and people just don't understand it. Howard said those are animals. He said people who don't get vaccinated are like farm animals. He said they're not interested in society and keeping people safe. He said they're selfish. Howard said there's no dealing with it. He said they shouldn't even get tested. He said it's like that Glenn Beck talking about not being vaccinated. He said he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. He said we're bowing to the whims of the fringe. He said he's tired of it.
Howard said he has thing he needs to do so what can he do for this caller. The caller said that he has been married to his wife for 7 years and he loves rimming her but she doesn't want to have anal. He said that it drives him nuts seeing her around the house. He asked how he can get her to have anal. Howard said everyone has their own thing. He said you can't force it. He asked if he ever asked her why. The caller, Chris, said she said she's scared of having something put in her ass. He said he's not that large so it's not size. Howard said he was going to say maybe she was intimidated but that doesn't seem to be the problem.
Howard asked Chris if he has ever had anal. Chris said he has not. Howard said he has and it wasn't so great. He said he thought he felt doody in there. He said something was poking back at him. He said he came and everything but it wasn't that good. He said the vagina is so much better equipped to satisfy your penis. He said anal isn't that great. Robin said that's for him. She said a lot of people love anal. Howard said he thinks guys who are hung up on it want everything from their wives. He said he knows you want it all but you can't have it all. He said for some men it's a domination thing. He said it's not all it's cracked up to be. He said if she's not into it then it's not the worst thing in the world.
Howard said if you're intent on making it happen maybe you have to get your wife hot. He said Robin did it because of that in San Francisco. He said the guy didn't need lube or anything. He said she went to town. He said if you really want it that bad then you might have to make your woman hot. He said Ronnie has been doing it for years. He said he has worked for him for how long now. Ronnie said 36 years. Howard asked if it's better than vagina. Ronnie said no but it's different. He said it's really tight. He said that feels pretty good.
Howard asked Ronnie for some tips. Ronnie had some ideas for Chris. He said that she already likes him rimming her. Howard said this is why he went to Ronnie. He said there's something there worth exploring. He said that he gives up very easily himself. He said he had a woman say she wanted it in her ass and he worked it but he wasn't able to get his dick in there. He said he felt like a failure. He said in a way he was okay with it. Howard asked Ronnie if he feels doody back there. Ronnie said he has had some doody on the tip at times but you just wash it off. He said it's no big deal.
Ronnie told Chris that what he should do is ease into it and not do it right away. He told him that he can keep eating her ass. He said then you put your dick between her ass cheeks and you can ease into getting it in. He said he would recommend just playing with it for a while and get into it real slow. He said at some point it may turn her on enough that she'll want to try it.
Howard said Robin had her experience and the dick went right in. Robin said there was a long seduction there before any of that occurred. She said she was so hot she wanted to crawl up the side of the building to a bed. She said she just wanted that guy so bad. Howard said that's counter to what Ronnie said. Robin said he was working on her and everything else was happening. Howard asked why the guy chose her ass. Robin said they weren't talking. Ronnie said it sounds like what was happening with her is that they were doing everything and Robin just wanted him no matter where he went. He said he's trying to give this guy a way of easing into it.
Howard asked Chris if he's going to give it a shot. He said Beth isn't into it so he's not trying for it. He said he just likes vagina. He said he's fine with that. He said he had one woman who took his dick and stuck it right in her ass. He said he didn't have to do anything. Ronnie said she probably likes it all the time. He said she knows how to relax her asshole. Howard said he should tell Ronnie who it is. Ronnie said he thinks he knows. Howard said he still thinks about it. He said he liked it. Ronnie said he told him about it. Howard said no he didn't. He said it was the greatest night of his life other than begin with his own wife. He said he can't forget it.
Howard said he has a woman on the phone who has been doing anal a long time. He took a call from Chris Wilding who was doing his Mildred character talking about her ass and cunt becoming one with each other. Howard hung up on her pretty quick.
Howard asked if Ronnie has ever given up. Ronnie said he hasn't. He said he never has. Howard asked what he does if the woman tells him not to mess around back there. Ronnie said it has to be a relaxing situation. He said they can put on porn or something. He said some girls like to watch girl on girl stuff. He said they get very turned on by that. Ronnie asked if he ever does that. Chris said he watches a lot of porn and that's what's messing him up. Ronnie told him to try some girl on girl stuff to see how that works out.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Greta Thunberg yelling at them about talking about this when the world is falling apart. Ronnie said maybe she needs a good shot in the ass. Howard told him to calm down because she's young woman. Howard let her go and closed the door on her.
Howard said Ronnie never gives up on trying to get anal. Robin said he enjoys the entire journey. She said that he has fun the whole time. Ronnie said that something will happen. He said that it always works out somehow. Howard said Ronnie knows a lot. He said he knows how to use the pre-cum and all of that. Ronnie e said that's what he uses for the hot dog bun thing. He said it's like the mustard on the hot dog. He said it's easier for her to enjoy it. He said it's like getting your asshole licked. Howard asked if ass juice smells. Ronnie said you know you've turned her on when that happens Howard said it has to be drippy doody juice. Ronnie said it's like cum. He said it's not like doody. He said you have no idea where it's coming from. Howard said it must be vaginal juice dripping in there. Ronnie said that's possible. Howard said maybe it's sweat.
Howard asked why not just get some lube. Ronnie said she's not turned on then. He said there's no fun in that. Howard said Stephanie said she just tolerates that from him. He said he has a clip of her talking about that on the show. Howard played that clip and got a laugh out of it.
Howard said Ronnie does get it and it's impressive. Howard took a call from a guy who said you can't force this on a woman. He said he had a girl ask him to do it. He said he did it missionary. He said she asked him to finish inside her too. Howard said he has had trouble getting in there. He said he just gave up. He said his dick was bending. He said that ass was locked up. He said they tried but it wasn't working. He said he didn't care that much to push for it. Howard said he has things to do so he's not spending time on that.
The caller said if a girl is worked up and asking for it then it just goes. Howard said he has had that. He told that story about the woman grabbing his dick and shoving it in her ass again. Robin said you never forget that. Howard said he's sure that's what heaven is. He said it was doggy position and she took it out and stuck it in. He said he was like ''What the fuck?''
Robin said she was talking to the guy years later and he said that he never forgot that night either. Ronnie said you never forget shit like that.
Howard had Chris Wilding get on to talk about the anal thing. Chris said if you eat ass then it's only to prep it for the penis in the gay community. He said he's getting a raw deal by not getting anal. The caller said he likes eating ass. Wilding told him to try to get it because he has a small penis and that makes a big difference. He said she might not even feel it that much if it's small. The caller said he's only about 4 inches.
Howard said what you're hearing right now is the Tom Brady and Joe Montana of anal. He said this is the kind of premium you get as a SiriusXM subscriber. He said you won't get this kind of advice anywhere else.
Ronnie and Chris talked about the porn movies that are out there and how they're not realistic. Howard said that Ronnie was able to fit Sal's cock in his ass with that dildo. He asked how much of that he got in there. Ronnie said maybe half of it. He said he didn't even attempt it with Richard's cock dildo. Howard said he's getting some good advice here.
Howard took a call from another Chris who said he's had some experiences and some women like being choked and having anal. He said someone new has to be in the mood. He suggested rubbing her clit and then spit on it and ease it in. He said take it from there. Howard said that's like what Robin went through.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he thinks Ronnie is full of shit about all of this sexual stuff with anal and shit. He asked how long he was married. Howard said it was many years. Ronnie asked what that has to do with anything. The caller said it's a lot. He said he says he was fucking girls in the ass but he's only been with 2 women. Ronnie said he never said it was a ton of women. Howard said he never said that. He said it's not a ton of partners. He said he has had anal with some of the women he's been with. He said he has to hang up on this guy because he's making comments that are litigious.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said they're all touching on it but he has to put it bluntly. He said Chris doesn't turn her on that much so it's no great mystery. He said you should be able to stick your dick in there and it's no big deal. He said if she doesn't want it then he doesn't turn her on that much. Howard said he's not buying what Ralph is saying. Robin said he is right in a way. She said that turning on is one thing but then there's really turning on.
Howard said he's not sure he's ever turned on all of the women that he's been with. Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Michael Caine who gave some anal sex advice. He had Chris laughing. Howard stuck with that bit for a couple of minutes asking Michael about his experiences.
Howard asked Robin what her favorite Michael Caine movie is. Robin said she loves the movies he does where he's a killer. She said that she watches anything that he does.
Howard said on the phone is Vic Lagina who is a porn director. He took Vic's call and Vic said he has had a lot of experiences. He said that he worked for Brazzers. Howard asked Vic what he has for Chris. Vic said that the lights should be kept low and you should not look down when you pull out. He said you wash off without looking. He said you never know what surprise you'll have down there. He said you also never tell the person if you do have something on there. Wilding said he's totally right about that.
Howard asked Vic what the worst accident was that he saw. Vic said that prolapsed anus is really jarring. He said that it looks like a tongue sticking out of the butt hole. He said he was shook up after seeing that the first time. He said he'd look at the crew to see their faces after seeing it himself. He said that's about the worst it can get.
Vic said one time they had a woman say that she was vegan so she didn't have to clean herself out. He said that she ended up shitting all over the guy's abdomen. That was during a live sex show so they had to cut away.
Howard asked how you treat a prolapsed anus. Vic said that usually the girl will take a break and push it back in and then the get back to work. Howard asked Vic if he's saying that they just push it back in and get back to work. Vic said yes but you should go to a doctor so you can get it checked out. He said that is the downside of having too much anal. Howard said it is called show business and the show has to go on.
Howard said this is the kind of entertainment you get on SiriusXM. Ronnie told Chris not to let his wife listen to this interview. Howard said he's right about that.
Howard asked Wilding if he'd be afraid of a prolapsed anus. Chris said he is. He said he has seen some assholes and you know bad things went down in there.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake Bernie Sanders who had some anal advice for Chris. He had percentages of how much to put in and things like that.
Howard said this has been a very honest and interesting discussion. He said they've heard from some experts. He asked Vic how many films he directed. Vic said it's over 2000. He said he's been out of the business since the pandemic started. He said the balance of power shifted during the pandemic. Howard asked if he got a boner on set or was he immune from that. Vic said it was technical. He said he wasn't looking at the sex act. He said it was very professional. Howard asked Vic more about his job and Vic said he stuck with it a long time. He said he's getting into more mainstream kind of stuff now.
Howard asked if he ever thought about giving up the name Vic Lagina. Vic said not at all. He said that's not his real name of course. Howard asked if he has ever had a load hit him during a shoot. Vic said he has gotten some squirt on his toes before because he wears open toed shoes. Howard thanked Vic for the call. Vic said that he has a film that he shot that's about the life of a pornographer. He said he'll let him know when it comes out.
Howard asked if squirt is just urine. Vic said that some people say it is. He said there are women who would drink Pedialyte to make their squirt taste better so there are people who think it's pee and some who argue it's not. Howard said he would argue it is urine.
Howard asked Vic if he has a woman on set who isn't so fresh who breaks the news to her. Vic said that's a very dicey situation. He said there were times when they had someone on set who was smelly and they had to do something. He said as a male he never knew how to broach that subject. He said if you say something and it upsets them then it can lose a whole day. He said if he had a vagina he'd make sure it smelled and tasted like candy. Howard said he thinks taking baths is the way to combat the stench. He said he thinks Vic would be constantly submerged in water before going on the set.
Howard said he used to interview a lot of porn stars and they would tell him if they stink they would tell the other person. He said he figured that they would do that. He said he didn't know if it was the director's responsibility. He said they're learning about all of this here today. He said this is what Mr. Lagina is teaching them. Howard let Vic go after that.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Dame Judi Dench who had some squirt comments. Howard let her go pretty quick.
Howard asked the caller, Chris, what he has learned and what he will do now. Chris said this was inspirational and educational. He said he will approach his wife and take it step by step and give it a shot. Howard said this was an analvention like and intervention. He said let them know how it goes. Howard let Chris go after that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she has squirted and it's not urine. Howard said the mystery continues. He said he's nauseous now. He said he's picturing Chris Wilding with a prolapsed anus. Chris said he does not need that. He said he has this new thing for his toilet and he uses it when he shits. He said it makes him very itchy back there. Howard said he's not drying it enough. Chris said he may be wiping too much. He said he is washing and over wiping and maybe doing it too much. Howard said now he's thrown up.
Howard played the song that Nikki did about Bob. Howard said Bob would be the one who appreciates it the most and he's not around to hear it. Howard said if someone has a song about him he needs them to write them now so he can hear them. He said if Nikki has one for him he's ready for it. He said he can give notes while he's still alive.
Howard had the lyrics for Nikki's song and he said he thinks she'd be making fun of it if she hadn't written it. He read through the lyrics and said if you write a song about him make it very explicit so you know it's about him. Howard said that's some song she wrote. He said he only gets songs from Mariann from Brooklyn.
Howard said he has some audio to share with Robin. Robin said she's trying to figure out of he's upset with Pete or what it is. Howard said every guy thinks they're better than Pete. He said that Kanye is being driven nuts by it. He said that he took her to the most expensive shops in Milan and Pete is taking her to a strip mall on Staten Island.
Howard said Kanye went on some podcast to talk about Saturday Night Live and what they did to him. He said they're not even divorced but they made Kim said they were. Kanye said he wants to be together with Kim but the media doesn't want that.
Howard said Kanye begged Kim to come back to him during a concert when he was singing a song. Howard had some audio of that. Howard said he's not going to get her back with all of this nonsense. Robin said this is not good.
Howard said Kanye has a song out now with lyrics about beating Pete Davidson's ass. Howard said that never works either. He played the song where he sings about Pete.
Howard said in 2018 Pete did a bit on Saturday Night Live where he was telling Kanye to take his medication. Howard played that clip.
Howard said Pete is putting out zero effort to get laid and it's working for him. He said women like that. Robin said that Kanye has to impress women with gifts. She said she read the new girlfriend he has had a hotel room full of clothes that she could choose from. She said it has to be tough for her hearing all of this.
Howard said he wants Nikki to write a song about him while he's still alive. He said no jokes in it. Howard did a live commercial read and ended the show around 9:50am.