Howard said that was Larry's thinking. He wanted to be froze. He said he told him that they had Ted Williams frozen and they only froze his head. He said Larry wanted his whole body frozen. He said he didn't want to end up like Ted. He said the official cause of death for Larry was sepsis. He said he's pretty sure they could clear that up. Robin said your whole body is rotting when that happens. Howard said rest in peace Larry. Robin said he lived enough so yes, rest in peace.
Howard said he is wondering if he's frozen. Robin said she doesn't think so. She said no one was listening to him at the end. Howard said they could have done it if it was in his will.
Robin said maybe Howard could go and take care of Larry himself. Howard said he has enough stuff to take care of.
Howard said today is President's day. He said he usually takes this day off. He said people are probably wondering why he's not off. Robin said she was thinking that Trump ruined the day for him. Howard said he wants to compliment Joe Biden. He said his dream was to get 1 million people vaccinated a day. He said the other day they vaccinated 2 million in a day. He said he was thinking that's what it feels like to have the government working for the people. Robin said people are finding appointments now. She said a lot of people are getting calls back saying they can get the shot.
Howard said he gets threats from people who say he used to be good and they don't agree with him on his opinion on Trump. Robin said they're the people running around saying they're losing their free speech.
Howard said he was listening to Fran Lebowitz where she was on some podcast talking about how she has a lot of opinions and that's what she does. She said some people are really threatened by it. He said that she says she has no power with that opinion. She said it's not going to come true if she says it so why are people so threatened by it? Howard said this is so true. He said people see things differently.
Howard said he was thinking about this capitol riot thing and the impeachment. He said this guy was responsible for the riot. He said on 9/11 we found out what Osama Bin Laden had done and that guy was considered a threat to this country. He said he wasn't here. He said what happened on January 6th was like that attack. He said some really shitty stuff went down. He asked what the difference is. He said we were attacked as a country. He said they were trying to finalize the vote and there was an attack. He said that Charles Manson had his people go out and attack people and he was held responsible for it. He said they hunted down Osama bin Laden. He said we're still involved in that quagmire.
Howard said this is just his opinion and nothing is going to change. He said this is the way he saw it. He said it seemed to him that this guy got up and told the hillbillies to go crazy. He said he told them to ''stop the steal.'' He said that he doesn't care if Trump wants to go fight the election vote thing. He said the judges found it was a fair election so just accept it. He said Trump was like not and had people trying to go hang Mike Pence. He said that's a real twist.
Howard said the way he sees it in his opinion is there's a dead cop and the family is wondering why he's not being held responsible. He said this guy is dead because of this nuttiness. He said what a horrible thing this is. He said the other wackiness is that the 7 who voted to impeach are being censured. He said Mike Pence had to go into hiding because he feared for his life. He said he might still be hiding.
Howard said people say they hate him now because he's become a liberal. He said he wised up. He said he's not going to vote republican now. He said that he used to. He said this is about sanity versus insanity in his opinion. He said that no one cares what his opinion is. He said it's just an opinion. He said nothing is going to change because of it. He said no laws are going to change because of his opinion.
Howard said Trump showed us that this country can be taken over by a maniac so that's one positive thing that he did. He said that these are just his opinions.
Howard said he has a cop friend who he asked about the riots and how the cop was killed and this guy said that he doesn't think that those were Trump people, they were Antifa. He said that he had to stop that discussion because he likes this guy. He said these are all just opinions.
Howard said he really did think that some of these republicans were going to say this is enough and they have to do something but that didn't happen. Robin said he's not usually that optimistic.
Howard said he gets an early release of the show and he gets to watch it on Saturday before anyone else gets to see it. He said that he and Beth get to watch it on Saturday. He said they're both excited about it. He said they both share the same girly interests.
Howard said they'll watch the show together and no one is allowed to talk during it. He said they don't want to miss anything. He said he pauses a lot so he can explain things. He said she wants him to just hit play. He said he tells her things about the show. He said he has to tell her those things. He said he gives dissertations about the show.
Howard said he has thoughts and he likes to discuss during The Bachelor. He said it's like a Ted talk for assholes. Robin asked if he's always right about how things work out. Howard said he's almost always wrong. He said that he has opinions about how people look.
Howard said Chris Harrison is the host of the show and if you tune in and watch the show this guy comes in at the end and talks about the rose ceremony. He said they had a substitute host a couple of times during the season. He said the show wasn't as good without Chris. He said Chris is really good when they do the after show and they cut to this live show where they talk about the show. He said Chris is brilliant on After the Rose. He said that he has the right questions and he's terrific at it. He said that it's a great job.
Howard said Chris looks like a shlub on the show. He said he's kind of short. He said he looks like Herve Villechaize next to The Bachelor. Robin said she's thinking about his job and they have to stay together because of COVID. She said that usually they fly all over the world. Robin said he has to be there for the whole thing. She said he must just sit around most of the time. Howard said exactly. He said you could call it a great job. He said he's like Gary on this show. Fred played some clips of Gary clearing his throat.
Howard said that Chris sits there most of the time and then comes to life on After the Rose. He said he likes the guy on the show. He said it turns out that they finally got a black bachelor. He said they had never had one before. He said that they finally got with the times. He said that the ladies seem to like him. He said the women are gorgeous on the show. He said that you wonder why they even go on the show. He said that if they can't find live then no one can find it. He said the show is good and they're there. He said Chris is doing his thing there and they put on the show.
Howard said one of the ladies there on the show was in college and she went to an Antebellum party. He said it turns out that's a bunch of assholes who get together and pretend that the south rose. He said they still bitch about the Civil War. Howard said they have a party where they pretend that things never changed and the white people ruled the world. He said that it reminds you of what's going on now. He said we have two different countries going on right now. Robin said that it's like they have two different centuries going on at the same time.
Howard said we're not going to be around much longer anyway. He said the world won't be around. He said we'll have an ice age and we're the virus that the world is going to fight off. He said nature sees us like the Coronavirus. He said some cockroaches and mushrooms will remain. He said there won't be much left.
Howard said so this girl goes to this Antebellum party down south somewhere. He said they get dressed up and party. He said he doesn't know the whole story but he read somewhere that she may have liked a couple of posts on social media that were somehow anti black or something. He said he doesn't even know. He said she may have done something else. He said she's with a black bachelor so it's all weird. Robin said that some people don't know what racist means. She said she may have grown up with this stuff.
Howard said whatever it was the optics weren't good. He said imagine if she got this guy and brought him to this party. Howard said so this stuff is going on. He said if you're on that show there's something wrong with you. He said this story comes out about this girl. He said this former Bachelorette from the show interviews Chris about this controversy. He said Chris is a big dummy and doesn't know anything about race relations. He said she does this extensive interview with Chris and he came to life on this topic. He said he has never heard a guy talk so much. He said he's talking over this girl and mansplaining and whitesplaining. He said he saw this and told him to shut up. He said you just say you know nothing. He said you just know about dating. Howard asked why you'd risk your job on this show. He said the guy is going on and on and on.
Howard had a clip of Chris talking about this Antebellum party and giving her excuses for it. The host of the show, Rachel, is asking Chris about the party and he's giving her excuses. The party just happened in 2018 so it wasn't so long ago. Chris said he wasn't defending it and he didn't go to it.
Howard said Chris was going on and on about being woke and the woke police. He said this dummy blew it. He said he should have said he doesn't know anything about it. He said he should have said he had never even heard of an Antebellum party. Instead he's saying that there were 50 million people who went to parties like that.
Howard played a clip of Chris talking more about this stuff and saying he really doesn't know.
Howard said this guy had the greatest job. He said he blew it. Howard said normally they put you in a straight jacket if you say that stuff. Robin said during a season they usually have him come in and bring up what's going on with the show.
Howard said he knows every line from that show. He said a trained parrot could do that job. He did a parrot impression. He was doing a duck so he had to change the way he was doing it. He said parrots live for like 60 years. Robin said you have to put them in your will because they'll out live you.
Howard played more of Chris talking about the things he did as a kid in the 70s that you can't play now. Howard wondered if he was playing Hang the Jew back then or something. Howard said he demands to know what games he was playing. He said they were probably playing throw the Jew down the well.
Howard asked who Chris is to comment on this stuff. He said go to ABC and the producers of the show. He said Chris should have said he's just a dopey guy and knows nothing about it. He said he just goes on the show an says ''Here's the final rose...'' like Lurch.
Howard said all hell broke loose after that. He said Rachel announced she was quitting The Bachelor franchise. He said he didn't know you could quit. He said that she said she had enough and quit. He said she's busy on Extra now but she used to be a lawyer. He said Chris blew it. Robin said he's making it the most exciting Bachelor ever. Howard said this guy has an ability to host the show and ask the right questions. He said he can talk to these people and treat them the right way. He said he thinks that he has to be brought back no matter what his views are. He said just because he doesn't know how to handle race relations in America doesn't mean he can't be on the show. He said he's not sure who they're going to get. He said they tried to get a former star from The Bachelor. He said he thinks that George Stephanopoulos would be a great host. He said that he's the only guy who can step in.
Howard said he was reading about this thing after Beth told him the news. He said that she told him that Chris Harrison was in trouble. He said he was like ''You stupid asshole...'' He said he should have just said ''Uhhh I don't know.'' He said he could have said he couldn't hear her because of his bad internet.
Howard said they're missing the biggest point in all of this. He said these southerners are so proud of being losers. He said they still throw parties and wave their losing flag. Robin said this is the thing that made Trump popular. She said they thought that making America great again was bringing it back to that time. Howard said we don't celebrate the Vietnam war. He said we didn't win that one. He said the south is still pissed off that they lost. He said an Antebellum party reminds you of the way things used to be. He said it's a horrible past.
Howard said you don't celebrate anything about the old days like before indoor plumbing was invented. He asked why celebrate a time when people bought and sold people.
Robin said how about doing something for the world instead of this. She said how about learning math and science. Howard said he's not going to do that.
Howard said the Kansas City Chiefs didn't throw a Super Bowl parade after they lost. He said you're just rubbing it in your own face that you lost.
Howard said he's pissed off that Chris Harrison fucked up. He said that Chris said he admitted he totally fucked up. He said even his girlfriend said that he fucked it up. He said his wife came running up to his office to tell him what his girlfriend said. Howard said Chris is stepping away from the show temporarily and he won't be on the final After the Rose. He said it's such a bummer to him. He said that Chris took a beating after that interview.
Howard read some details about Chris' career before The Bachelor. He said he was a sports announcer in the 90s. He said in the old days when a network picked a game show host they'd have a radio guy with a big voice. He said Bill Cullen from The Price is Right was one and Bob Barker was another. He said Gene Rayburn and Jim Lang were radio guys. He said they had shit jobs but if they were good at it they got a TV game show. He said now all the rules are gone. He said this Chris Harrison was in Oklahoma and got the job as host. He said Chuck Wollery was a radio guy too. He said if you were a radio announcer who wasn't all that great you got a second tier game show like Joker's Wild. He asked what show that was with the dragon shooting things out of its nose. Gary said it may have been Tic Tac Dough. Howard said that was Wink Martindale who hosted that. He said he knew every answer on that show so you know it's bad.
Howard said it was Wednesday, March 11th. He said they went into quarantine the next week. He said this day off he had was a complete wash out. He said it was no day off. Howard said they were told to stay home and they had to come up with a new plan. He said it was chaos. He said everyone was turning to him for answers and he had nothing. He said he was like Chris Harrison talking about race.
Howard said he took one day off because of this worldwide plague that was going on. He said that's the day he missed. He said that he did bring up that he wasn't trying to get out of doing a show. He said he was scrambling to do a show. He said he had to come up with the day and make it up. He said he'd make it up and work on this day. He said he said he would do a make up show and this is it.
Howard said he doesn't want anyone thinking that he's trying to get away with something. Robin said she was ready to go to work that day in March. She said she was told to stay home. Howard said she can leave if she wants to. He said he can't keep her there legally.
Howard said that if you think they're doing a show because they love you it has nothing to do with that. He said he'll always be up front with you. He said he doesn't want to be beholden to anyone. He said if he owes you a show then that's what he's going to do.
Howard said he didn't think Sirius was tracking the show so closely. He said that he figured they were going to tell him he didn't have to do that show. He said what he found out is that Jennifer Witz sits by the radio with a stop watch timing the show. He said she caught him trying to bail on a show and they were impressed with her and gave her the CEO job.
Howard said he never had ulterior motives in his career. He said that he had a dream that he would be so valuable to a radio station that they'd love him. He said he just wants to be loved. He said that he has this hole in his heart. He said everyone he has worked for has thought he had an ulterior motive. He said there was always suspicion. He said the truth is that he didn't want to get away with anything. He just wanted the company to love him. He said he cares about his job. He said he'd sit there with the sales department and cut spec commercials for them. He said he wasn't getting paid for that. He said that he knew he was a shitty announcer but he figured if he became irreplaceable then they'd have to love him. He said that he did everything he could to make that happen. He said he just wanted to be loved and appreciated.
Howard said when he heard that they brought up that one show he missed he was freaking out. He said he wasn't trying to pull the wool over their eyes. He said he forgot that they missed that one show. He said he killed the company with kindness. He said he told them that he would make up that show and he was a man of his word. He said they said he didn't have to do that but he wasn't going to have it. Robin said she can't believe that they even brought it up. Howard said Will got COVID a few days later. He said he was ready to go into work that day. He said he was up and ready for it. He said Will was there coughing on him just days before so he was confused about the whole thing.
Howard said Oprah had a show there and hardly stepped foot in there. He said that Jennifer Witz is on the phone to remind them of what their responsibilities are. Howard took the call and fake Jennifer told Howard that he has to do shows even if there's a nuclear war. She said they need him there. Howard said Eminem has his own channel but he may not even know that they merged with XM. He said he's a team player and he didn't mean to take off during the pandemic. Jennifer told Howard that she expects his dead corpse to do live reads when he eventually passes away.
Howard said Robin came in when she had cancer. Jennifer said that's what she expects. She said they'll be working on Christmas if they miss another day. Howard said he's making up that day today. Jennifer said she appreciates that. She said that Robin did take one day off during her cancer thing so she has to make that up. Howard said Robin does owe them a show. Robin said she forgot. Howard said he's not going to come in for that one. Robin said she'll have to come up with something for that. She said they never said anything before. Howard said Fred owes them one too for taking a day off for his father in law's funeral. Robin said they'll have to come up with a show together.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked if he's the only fan of Chickenfoot. He said that he loves Sammy Hagar. He said that he loves their new band too. He said they're The Circle or something like that. Robin said that's better than Chickenfoot. Howard said they have some good stuff. He said he's a big fan of this song particularly. He said he's not sure why Eddie Van Halen broke it off with Sammy. He said Sammy is good at writing songs and he's a good guitar player too. Robin said that conversation could go on forever.
Robin said the Foo Fighters interview was really good. She said she listened to that again and it sounded great.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loved the Foo Fighters interview and went out and bought their album and it's great. Howard read some feedback about that interview too. Howard said his hair is so long that it's getting caught in his mouth. He had to pull some out. Robin said that was like a foot long.
Howard read more about the Foo Fighters interview and how great people thought that was. Howard read about what people thought about their musical performances. He had something from Jillian Barberie who posted about that on social media.
Howard said that someone wanted them to ask Sal to contact Leslie West about the Mississippi Queen performance. Robin said they haven't checked with him to see if he's still in contact with the dead.
Howard said someone wrote in about ''All My Life'' being about oral sex. Howard played some of that song.
Howard took a call from a guy who said fuck all of the stations who didn't love him. He said the fans love him. The caller brought up Nirvana and that led to Howard talking about how Dave Grohl, Pat Smear and Krist Novoselic get together to perform Nirvana songs. Howard said they said they recorded those sessions too. He said he'd like to hear what they're up to. He said he's not sure if they're recording new songs or playing the old stuff.
Howard said thinks for the nice calls and email about that interview. Howard said they were also talking about Phoebe Bridgers smashing her guitar on Saturday Night Live and Dave said it was kind of cool so he changed his mind about it.
Howard played some of the Foo Fighters ''Shame, Shame'' and talked more about smashing guitars. Howard said there were a lot of bands and musicians who do that.
Howard let ''Shame, Shame'' play for a bit. He said it's a good song. Robin said yeah. Howard said the other big hit was a song his father sang where they sang ''Shame, shame on you.'' He did his impression of his father singing that. He asked Fred to look up that song to see what it was. Robin said she's never heard that one. Howard said he thinks about that when he hears Dave singing that song. He said that his father would be in a good mood and he'd sing that song. He said it was weird when his dad was happy and singing. He said he'd bound up the steps and sing that song.
Fred found the song and played it for Howard. Howard said this is it. He let the song play for a little bit. It was Spade Cooley's ''Shame On You.''
Howard said this sounds like something they'd sing on the plantation. Howard was amused by the name of the performer. Howard said that doesn't sound right. Robin said especially because of the way that song sounds.
Howard said that Marie Antoinette was known as a cunt but even she loved this Redoute. He said they kept that guy around because he was so good.
Howard said he painted this little flower for Beth and he got her a couple of other things. He said he gave her the gift and she loved it. He said she loved the other gifts too. He said he didn't wrap it or anything. He said he kept it behind his back. He said that she didn't get him anything. He said it wasn't about him. He said this is about his love for her. He said that he would have liked a little something but whatever. He said they'll get to his gift in a minute.
Howard said Beth loved this painting. He said he got amorous and started kissing her and she didn't run off like usual. He said that she said it was going to be bang o'clock. He said that he wanted it right then. He said he didn't want to wait. He said Beth turned to him and said that he was going to get it right then and she hadn't showered. He said he has told her that he wants to have stinky sex. He said she's always clean. He said she bathes before every time they do it. He said she had just used the Hydrow and she had been cleaning all morning so she smells. Howard said he was thinking this was fantastic. He said that it was going to be epic. He said it was going to be the best bang o'clock ever. Howard played some Bang O'clock song parodies that they had.
Howard said that his wife made up that ''bang o'clock'' thing. He said she likes that. He said that he used to use a hand signal where he'd put his finger in a his other finger hole. He said that she hated that.
Howard said Beth wasn't going to shower so he was all excited about that. He said that she stripped off her clothes and he did a slow reveal. He said that he has a belly even though he doesn't weigh that much. He said that he started sniffing around Beth and she didn't smell at all. He said that there was nothing there. He said he was sniffing her arm pits and there was nothing there. He said he told her that she didn't smell. She insisted she did. He said he was smelling her now and there's nothing.
Howard said that they had bang o'clock and watched a movie together. He said they watched a movie they had seen already. He said they went down to watch some romantic movie that he found and they saw this Rob Pattinson movie with some blonde girl. He said Beth wanted to watch that. He said that they were two of the best looking people ever. He said they only want to see that. He said they have this thing where they put regular people in movies like that and he has no desire to see that. He said he likes to see good looking people getting together. He said that's the fantasy thing. He said that you want to see something like that.
Howard said this movie had Rob Pattinson and this blonde in it. He said he's not sure who she was but Beth said she was in the TV show Lost. He said he didn't know who she was. He said this girl was all troubled and so was Rob. He said someone who looked like Fred played the father. He said the two fall in love and he wont give the ending. He said it's kind of cool actually. He said it turns out that he thinks that he's seen the movie. He said Beth eventually remembers it. He said they had seen it before but they watched it again.
Robin said that she keeps telling him about this movie ''The Only Living Boy in New York'' and he'd love it. Robin said that Kate Beckinsale is in it. Howard said he'll have to check that out.
Robin said that movie was so unmemorable that they didn't remember watching it. Howard said she's right. He said he doesn't retain these things. He said he loved the movie. He said that it's so good.
Howard said he got romantic with Beth and said they're both into these horrible movies. He said they're into The Bachelor too. Robin said they're a match made in heaven.
Howard said that Barbra Streisand is another one who has a huge gay following. He said she should have been done 40 years ago but she goes on.
Howard said in this documentary they show these interviews with Britney Spears and people asking why she was wearing these outfits and things. He said she was like 19 years old and Diane Sawyer was asking her why she was wearing them. Howard said one woman came out and said she wanted to kill Britney over the clothes she was wearing.
Howard said the whole thing about this documentary is that Britney was in and out of hospitals and now her father came in and took over her finances. He said that Britney said that she was okay with it being anyone but her father. He said she has something with her father. He said the court won't change it for her though. He said this judge said she can't even pick her own lawyer. He said it was making him crazy watching this thing. He said this guy Kanye West has been acting a little strange lately. He said they say he has a mental disorder but no one is assigning him a conservator. He said he thinks that he's on Britney's side in this. He said that he's not sure if she's incapable of running her life. Howard said he has a list of guys who are out there. He said that Charlie Sheen and Shia LaBeouf are other guys who are kind of out there. He said Gary Busey is out there but no one took over his finances. He said he's not sure why Britney has that going on.
Howard said he's not sure why Britney is in this conservatorship thing. Robin said they say that they're very hard to get out of.
Howard said the Paparazzi are brutal toward Britney. He said it's crazy how bad they are. He said they interviewed this one Paparazzi who explains how it all works. He had a clip from the documentary. He said that they could tell she enjoyed it at the start. He said they both needed each other. He didn't think that being around her affected her at all. The guy said that she never gave a clue to them to leave her alone. Robin said that guy is nutty too. She said he should have a conservatorship too.
Howard said Britney isn't in charge of her own money now. He said Ozzy bit the head off a bat and he's able to handle his own finances. He said Britney should be able to have control over her money. He said she's living like a little kid now. He said she has to get any money she spends approved. He said he might have to go out with a sign and say ''Free Britney.''
Howard said they say that Britney didn't have a relationship with her father for a time in her life. Robin said there was something going on with her kids too. She said Kevin Federline got involved in that. Howard said maybe he'll adopt Britney and free her.
Fred went into his Gary Puppet voice and had Gary talking about his lists of songs for Valentine's day.
Howard said it seems like a lot of work to go drive out there like that. Gary said it's really not. Robin asked if they made this decision together. Gary said Mary came up with it. He said this was on Friday night. He said that she wanted to go out and check out the view. He said they drove out and did it.
Howard said he had a great Valentine's day because he didn't leave the house. He said he hasn't even gone out to take a walk for months. He said that he's so happy he doesn't have to leave the house. Robin said that he's going to have to have some kind of medical intervention once the pandemic is over. Howard said he's not leaving his house.
Howard said he's not sure he'd leave the house if Beth wanted to leave. He said that he'd have to leave her. Gary asked if he ever wants to go out and get fresh air. Howard said he doesn't. He said he hasn't left his house. He said that he won't step outside at all. He said he hasn't left his house for months. He said the thought of shlepping and getting gas and all of that. Gary said he doesn't have to get gas. He said he got an electric car. He said they were only out for like an hour and a half. He said they got burgers and ate in the car and then drove home. He said it was probably 25 minutes in the car to drive home.
Robin asked what happens at home. Gary said they watch TV. Howard asked if he felt better getting out. Gary said he did. He said he thinks that he hadn't left the house in 6 days. Robin asked how much he's leaving. Howard said how about reading a book or the Sunday Times. Gary said he's doing all of that too. He said it's just an hour out on a Friday night. Howard said he'd rather go read something on the Daily Mail than go look at the Tappan Zee.
Gary asked what's going to happen when this Pandemic is over and Beth wants to have a party. Howard said they'll do it if she wants to. He said that he doesn't like doing that stuff. He said he just wants to stay home and never leave the house again. He said Beth has said the same thing and she's perfectly content.
Robin asked what he's going to do in there. Howard said he's going to go to the Tappan Zee Bridge and stare at it.
Howard said he's busy working on a new virus so people won't leave their house. He said that he's afraid that Biden is doing too good a job. He said he's moving too fast. He said he wants everyone to be safe but have to stay home.
Robin said we haven't had a flu season because everyone is being safe. Gary said yesterday was the Daytona 500 and they had like 30,000 people there. He said he thinks it holds 120,000 but they only had 30,000. Howard said that's insane to him. He said he can't imagine getting in his car and going to the bridge like Gary did. Gary said it was something to do. Howard said just stay home and listen to your vinyl.
Howard said to sit in the car and stare at a bridge he just doesn't get. He said he doesn't get Gary. Gary Puppet said that next week they're going to go to the Queens Midtown Tunnel and Mary is going to give him a hand job. Fred cracked himself up with that one.
Howard said he'd ask his wife if she's lost her mind if she asked him to do that. Gary said they will go to the beach and hang out on a Sunday morning. Howard said he'd just eat at home. He said Gary eats a lot in the car.
Robin asked what kind of electric car Gary got. Gary said he got a Tesla and it's amazing. He said everything is controlled by a big screen in it. Howard had no idea what he was talking about. Howard asked if he has to take his eyes off the road to change things on the screen. Gary said not more than usual. He said it's easy to use. He said he thinks his other car he was paying 50 bucks to fill up and this one is like 11 to fill up the charge. He said it's just electricity from his house. Howard asked how long it lasts. Gary said it's like 330 miles.
Howard asked if he doesn't use the car for a week does it lose the charge. Gary said he hasn't noticed. He said this car is so fast that it's almost dangerous. He said he whipped his head back so hard that he had a headache for like 2 days once.
Howard said he though the knock against electric cars is that they're not fast. Gary said not this one. He said this one is the fastest car he's ever been in.
Howard said he doesn't think that Ronnie would ever own an electric car. He said he likes the idea of filling up at home. Gary said filing up with gas is one of the things that bothered him most. He said now he doesn't have to do that. He said that's completely out of his life now.
Robin asked if he lets the car drive itself. Gary said he has tried it but doesn't love it. He said he didn't get the full package. He said it can drive itself on the highway. He said they have another package where it can drive itself but he can't give up that control. Howard asked if you can take over. Gary said you can. He told Howard how much it can take over for you. He said it won't change lanes and go around a car. He said he knows a guy who has one and he lets the car take over and he's able to text and things while the car is driving. Gary Puppet said that he's able to let the car take over so he can reach over and feel up Mary's boobs.
Gary said that he doesn't have Sirius in the car but the higher model does. Gary said there were rumors about why they don't have Sirius in the lower models. Gary said the other thing he loves about the car is that he hits his phone and it can heat the car up before he gets into it. He said it'll be warm when he goes out to it.
Robin said they do automatic updates to the car when you're not in it. Gary said there's a rumor that he may have a heated steering wheel in the next couple of weeks. He said he does' have it in there now but they say it's built in and they may activate it.
Howard asked Ronnie why he'd never drive an electric car. Ronnie said it's just not his thing. He said he loves American cars and Ferarris and stuff. He said the Teslas are fast but it's just not his thing. He said he likes the sound of an engine and the electric cars are so quiet that you don't hear anything. He said they are so quiet that people walking don't hear them coming.
Gary said that you don't have to do oil changes and things like that anymore either. He said they say that you can set up the car so the brakes aren't used and the car recharges so you may not even have to replace the brakes.
Gary said that you can go on a trip and the navigation will bring you on a route that gets you to a super charger so they have it set up. Howard said it's not like it doesn't work. Ronnie said it takes like 20 minutes to charge it up so it's not like going to a gas station.
Gary asked what the longest trip was he went on in the last 6 months. Ronnie said he went out for a 600 mile drive. Gary said that you just have your meal and take a break when you have to stop. Ronnie said it takes 5 minutes in a regular car. He said he's not stopping for a meal. Robin said okay. Ronnie said he doesn't like stopping for long.
Ronnie's phone rang so Howard asked if he got the new phone. Ronnie said he has an iPhone now. He said he doesn't like change but he's fine with this new phone. He said he doesn't miss the Blackberry.
Howard said he can't imagine that he won't drive electric. Ronnie said he'd miss the sound. Gary asked what he'd do if they put the sound in it. Ronnie said no thanks.
Howard asked if he was pissed that Daytona was delayed. Ronnie said he watched the whole thing. He said it was over at 12:20 last night. Howard said they had a 5 hour delay for rain and lightning. Ronnie said on lap 15 they had a major accident. Gary said his buddy was involved in that. Ronnie said he was but he finished 22nd. He said that's pretty good for the amount of damage they had. That was Kurt Busch that they were talking about.
Ronnie said they started the race again after 9 and they didn't finish until 12:20 in the morning.
Howard asked Ronnie how his Valentine's day was. Ronnie said it was good but Stephanie was on her thing this week. He said they got in bed and had some action on Friday night. He said Saturday night they cooked dinner together. He said he gave her a back massage for like an hour and he rubbed her back and her ass. He said that got her all turned on. He said he was rubbing her crack and all of that. He said they had a great night.
Ronnie said yesterday they got up in the morning and he had her gifts laid out. He said that she loved those. He said he got her a cool card. He said he got one that was mushy and lovey. He said that he got her a joke card too. He said that the joke one said he likes to spoon with her and then there were two forks inside and it says ''I like to fork too.'' He said that he got her some Godiva chocolate and got her a platinum rose from Steven Singer.
Howard asked if he writes stuff in the card. Ronnie said he does. He said that he wrote about how much he loves her and how much he likes spending his life with her. He said he got her a stuffed dog too. He said that she misses her dog a lot. Robin said she was going o say that was because she's still a child. Ronnie said she's 38 so she's no child.
Howard said he can't believe Ronnie hates electric cars. Ronnie said he doesn't hate them. He said they're just not his thing. He said he's heard that they're
Howard took a call from a woman who said that he's too mean to Gary. She said he's always picking on him. Howard said he's just saying that he'd never do what Gary did with the drive. He said that doesn't mean he hates Gary. He said he doesn't like what he does but that doesn't mean he doesn't like Gary.
Howard asked Ronnie if he'd ever do that. Ronnie said not if he's not getting a blow job or something. Ronnie asked Gary about the other cars there and if he saw what was going on in the other cars. Gary said some people were just alone. He said he thought someone was going to get out and jump in the water. Ronnie said some of those people go parking and they get laid in the car.
Howard told the caller that this is just his opinion and it takes nothing away from him. He said Gary can drive to any bridge he wants to and sit there all he wants. He said this isn't a put down. The caller said that he always has a nasty comment about anything Gary does. Howard said he just thought it was silly. The caller said so it's a Howard world. Howard said that she can go stare at a bridge if she wants to. She said she will.
Gary said it's not like he got a Prius. He said this car he has is a sporty looking car. King asked if he has something like a Porsche. Gary said he doesn't need one. King said that Gary should have a nice car so when he goes out he can leave it running outside so people see him getting into it.
Howard said one of the guys was talking to King and he likes to get farted on by his wife. King said she doesn't like doing it but he'll go under her butt and ask her to fart. He said she doesn't like doing it and that's what he likes about it. Howard asked how he knows that she has to fart. King said he likes asking her to do it. Howard said he'd take a bridge over that.
Howard said he doesn't understand what he's doing. He asked if she tells him when she has to fart. King said she's not into it but she'll do it for him. Howard asked if she's nude during this. King said she is. He said he likes to smell that stuff. He said she'll do it and it turns him on. He said he was never into that but it creeped in a few months ago. Howard said that's weird.
King said he was on the Wendy Williams show and he got kicked off for doing that. He said he went and smelled her chair and that's when they kicked him off the show. He said she got mad about that.
Gary said King wants to be on radio so bad and he fucked up that appearance by doing that. He asked why he'd do that. Howard said he's not sure why you'd have king on for any other reason. He said that he's known as a weirdo.
Howard asked if you can pick up the scent from the seat of a car. King used to sniff the seats of people he'd have in his car. King said it has a scent and it's not dirty but a little smell. Robin said she thinks he's imagining all of this.
Howard asked if King can tell the difference between a man ass scent and a woman. King said he's not doing this. Howard said he'll find a young, hot chick and have her sit in the seat. King said hell no. He said what he will do is pick out of 3 girls which panties belong to which girl. Howard said he wants man ass involved. Howard said King used to steal dirty panties out of hampers in houses he'd visit. Robin said she knew that his actions bordered on criminality and now they're getting close. King said that's not a crime. He said he never took them. He said he'd just rub them on his upper lip and the scent stays with you for a while. Howard said he used to call himself Hamper Man. King said he used to call himself that.
Howard asked about the smell of the panties and how that works. King said you can wet the secretions in there and it re-hydrates it so the smell comes out. Howard asked if he would do that with strangers. King said it wasn't with strangers. He said they were people he knew. He said he'd do it with women he'd date. King said you don't see hampers as much in the bathrooms as much as you used to.
Robin asked if you have to wet the socks. King said no. He said he has seen Beth's feet and he thinks they look great.
Howard asked King who these people would be. He asked if they were his mom's friends or what. King said that they were friends. He said he'd know them from being friends with them. He kept saying they were like friends over and over. He said he does it to his wife too.
Howard asked King who the women were that he did it to in the past. He asked if he'd go to a friend's house and if his friend had a daughter who was hot and over 21 would he do it. King said he would. Howard went through the process and King went along with it. He said if he found them in the hamper that would be a jackpot. Robin said you have to wade through all of the dirty underwear in there. King said he doesn't care about that.
Howard asked King about wetting the secretion and King was getting all excited about that and telling Howard how he would do that and then rub it under his nose. He said once you moisten it then it's back. He said then you rub it on your lip.
Howard asked if he's looking for a clam chowder consistency. King said if you get panties and there are panties in there and they look too new then you don't do it. He said that you need the ones that aren't pretty. He said those are the panties that he wants. Howard said King thinks Gary is weird for buying a Tesla.
Ronnie asked if he wants panties from when a woman is on her time of the month. King said no. He said he's not into the period. Howard asked if a thong is his thing. King said no. He said he likes the shorts that get caught up in there. He said they get stuck up there. He said he loves that.
Howard asked King if he knew a girl had just peed or took a shit, which one would he prefer to smell. King said urinate. Robin said he likes to be peed on so that makes sense. Howard said he likes to be farted on too though. Robin said she didn't think about that.
Howard said he thinks that if a girl had a yeast infection that must smell. He asked if he'd be into that. King said no way. He said that he wouldn't want that. He said if there is he doesn't want to know about it. He said he just wants to know that gel is down there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this guy is so retarded. He said what he brings to the show is so disgusting. He said he's smelling his wife's farts and he's a fucking retard. He said he can't stand when he's on the air.
Howard asked the caller what kind of smell he's looking for when he goes through the hamper. The caller said peaches or something like that. He said King doesn't bring anything to the show. King said he wanted to know how Trump 2020 worked out for him.
Howard took a call from a woman, Joy, who said she's with the last caller. She said that she broke down Lawrence a couple of times in the past. She said Lawrence forces his wife to fart on him when she doesn't want to.
Howard said he just realized that King has this annoying phone connection too. He said it's just annoying. King just did something with his phone that fixed the sound. Howard said it's just annoying. King said he should have let her at Joy. Joy asked what he has for her. King was about to ask something but he said he had to fix something on his phone and Howard said that's enough of this.
Howard said he was kind of interested in this but King has the awful phone connection. He said then he fixes it at the last minute. He said make sure it sounds good at the beginning. He said sometimes he struggles to hear what he's saying every time he calls in. He said it's every time. He said it's consistent. He said he does that to him every single time. He said that fucking phone connection is awful. They played a song parody about his awful calls. Howard said that was Eli Braden.
Gary said what he read he said was that Jason worked his way to the top and Will just slid in. He said he took offense to that. Ronnie said that Will always had the way of getting it done easier than Jason. He said Jason had to claw his way up.
Howard said that Ronnie would pick JD over Jason and Will as his son. Ronnie said it's always been that way. He said everyone knows that. Howard said JD is really in trouble. Robin said that JD needs his help and Will wouldn't need that. Howard said he calls that the blind leading the blind.
Howard said they asked Ronnie if he had a gun to his head which staff couple would he want to see have sex. He said that he had an interesting answer. He picked Jon Hein and his wife. Ronnie said that he loves Jon but he'd love to see how it works with him. He said his wife is so petite and cute and small and Jon is just big. He said that he would love to see how it all works. Howard said he's a big load getting on top. Ronnie said he pictures Debbie laying there on her back and Jon isn't putting all of his weight on her. He said he has to hold himself off of her and not lay on her. He said he has to do a push up. He said he's in the up position and that's how he pictures it. Robin said it's like King Kong on Fay Wray.
Ronnie said he can picture it doggy style too. He said that way he doesn't kill her. Howard said Debbie has a beautiful body and she probably weighs 12 pounds. Robin said and Jon can hold her in the center of his hand. Howard said he doesn't think that he could climb the Empire State Building though.
Howard said there you go Jon. He said Ronnie said he'd like to see him have sex with his wife. Jon said he should be honored. Howard said maybe not because Ronnie can't imagine how it works.
Howard said that's great. He said he has to take a break and do a couple of odds and ends. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said he was listening to Sirius and heard Kina Grannis. He said she's doing a cover of ''Creep.'' He said he thought she was good. He said she does a lot of covers. He said she sounds good. Robin said there are a lot of people who cover this. Howard said he likes that thing she does with her voice like a yodel thing. Fred played a Tarzan yell. Howard laughed. Robin said she thought she lost a note there.
Howard said he likes it when a girl does it. He said when guys do it it's kind of lame. Robin said country singers do that. Howard asked if she's hot. He said he has never seen a picture of her. He said if she's hot he's going into the hamper. He wondered what's wrong with King and the hamper thing.
Howard said Kina sings a song in Crazy Rich Asians. He said that's how he found out about her. He said maybe he'll be the first guy to start singing like her. He said a lot of women sing like that now. Robin said Jewel started that.
Howard played Kina singing ''Can't Help Falling In Love'' that she did in Crazy Rich Asians. Howard said they have a long intro in this one. He said you could do a whole newscast before the singing. Robin said she's heard this one. Howard said she sounds very vulnerable. He said you think you can get her when she sounds that vulnerable. He said he feels the same way about his Peloton instructors. He said that it's either Hanna or Jenn. He said he thinks he can get them but then Jenn will mention she has a husband every time.
Howard said Hanna wears an outfit like no other woman can. He said that Benjy used to go to the live Peloton classes. He said he thought he could get her but there's no way he could ever get her. He said that he has a note reminding him that he could never get her either.
Howard said he was riding his Peloton the other day and Hanna says ''Hi Howard'' and also said that Benjy is looking good. He said he knew she was lying. He said he thought the computer was talking to him like HAL in 2001 a Space Odyssey. He said that she hasn't seen Benjy so you know she was lying.
Howard said he got on that bike yesterday and his body is going to hell. He said he had to do something physical. He said that he took the easiest class he could find. He said you sit down the whole time. He said you don't have to stand. He said this class is so easy that your heart rate might go down.
Howard said that he did the class and it said he burnt off like 245 calories. Robin said at that rate he'll lose a pound when? Howard said these girls are so nice that you think they could be your girlfriend. Robin asked why that's a thing. Howard said in the movie The Elephant Man there was a woman who was nice to him and he thought he could get her because of that. He said he started dressing up for her. He said he could barely move on his own but he thought she was going to fall in love with him. Howard said when girls are nice to guys they think something could happen.
Howard said Benjy used to go to the Peloton class and they had to announce to the class to not touch the instructors. Howard said Benjy thought he was going to fuck Hanna. He said that her husband is an elite athlete. He said he's like The Rock but Benjy is fantasizing that he's running off with her.
Howard said Wolfie said that whenever he calls Wendy she's either eating or shitting. Robin said it's either going in or coming out.
Howard said he loves when she giggles like that. He said she's having a good time so god bless her.
Howard said Wendy tried to explain why Trump lost the election. Howard played a clip of Wendy saying they didn't count all of the votes. She said that ''Joe Bogden'' rigged it. Wolfie asked about Trump being impeached twice. Wendy said they have to leave the man alone.
Howard said she was still shitting while giving those opinions. Howard said she has more to say. Howard played a clip of Wendy talking about how Trump will run in 2024. She said they'll have to deal with it. She also talked about the riots and she was all for them going to get Trump back. She said she would have been out there herself if she could have.
Howard played a clip of Wendy talking about Joe Biden and how he's an old man and doesn't know anything. Wolfie asked if she has been going to the bathroom the whole time. Wendy said she has and she got some shit stuck in her ass. She said she's trying to get it out so her mom doesn't have a fit. She said he's lucky that her shit doesn't go all over the place.
Howard said there's a lot going on there. He said she's not all fun and games.
Howard said maybe they can have Joe Biden call her and try to win her over. Howard said he told the guys to try that and he figured she'd give him a break. Howard said that's not how it went. He played a clip of the guys calling Wendy as Joe Biden and she told him to shut the fuck up and Donald Trump is the president and he'll always be the President. She ended up hanging up on him but he called back. Biden told Wendy that they have a female vice president so that's s good thing. Wendy agreed but told him to shut up and get off her damn phone again.
Howard said that they asked Wendy if she has anyone in mind to celebrate with on Valentine's day. He said she's in love with someone. Howard played the clip of Wendy talking about how she likes Jason and she would want to be with him because he wears a tuxedo every day. Wolfie asked her a few questions about Jason and she was asking him to be her Valentine.
Howard said Jason went to visit Wendy down in Florida once and she really loves him. Robin said she really appreciates him spending time with her. Howard said Jason loves it too. Howard said her two favorite people are Jason and Donald Trump. Robin said how odd because Jason hates Trump. Howard said he asked Jason how much he thinks she loves him if he tries to change her opinion on Trump. He said he knows the answer but what does Robin think is going to happen when Jason tries to change her mind. Robin said she thinks that she's so into Trump. She said she thinks that Jason can sway her.
Howard played the clip of Jason calling Wendy and trying to sway her. In the clip Jason talked to Wendy about the Valentine thing and brought up the Trump and Biden stuff. She said that she's fine with that as long as he doesn't rub it in her face. Jason asked if they can watch some MSNBC and CNN together. Wendy said that's fine. Jason asked if he could call her his little Nancy Pelosi and she was fine with that. She said he's her little hairy bear.
Howard said she gave up every view of her's for Jason. Robin said she was fine with all of that. She said that's what love can do.
Howard said he has a lot to do tomorrow. He said they have some updates to get to and he may do a Sternac bit. He said he's bringing him back. Robin said he's not doing the JDini thing. Howard said not this time. He said he's doing Sternac. He said that he was watching some Johnny Carson Carnac bits to get into the voice. He said the fans used to love when he did it so he's jumping back in to do the bit.
Howard said many people wrote in about what he did where he talked about being trans and having that conversation with his parents. Howard read some of the feedback he got about that. He said he'll have to get into that again. Howard did his impression of his mother trying to talk him out of getting his penis removed. He had his father get on too and had them lecturing him about the whole thing. Howard said his new name is Holly. Ben and Ray were going back and forth talking about that. Ray was telling Howard that he was born perfect and he is perfect. Ben and Ray talked about their routine and how Howard has confusion in his life. Ray told Howard that he should not have surgery. Howard said he's going to have bottom surgery and grow titties. He had his parents freaking out about that. Howard had Ray telling him that his body is her body because she gave birth to him. She asked him not to do this. Howard said he wants to be a woman just like her. Ben said he needs a brain transplant instead of a vagina transplant.
Howard said his mother would have no problem with this trans thing. He said that she was always very accepting of their gay cousin. He said that he's not sure that she'd be able to deal with him being trans though. He said he was never able to talk to his parents about anything. He said they never asked him about how he was doing when all of his friends moved away. He went into Ray's voice again and had her saying that he exaggerates about all of that stuff.
Howard said he wasn't able to talk to his parents about what was happening with him. He said if he told his parents what was going on they didn't want to hear about it. He said even if he didn't feel well they didn't want to hear about it.
Howard went into his mother's voice again and had her talking about him exaggerating all of this stuff. Robin asked if Howard had any friends. Ray said he did. Howard said he didn't. Ray asked who that one friend was. Howard said he didn't have any friends and she didn't notice.
Howard had his mother going on and on about her problems in her life but not listening to him when he'd complain. He had his father saying that they had to use dirt for toothpaste when they were kids.
Howard said he has to go. He hung up on his parents. He said he's going to call his mother tonight and tell her he's becoming a woman. He said that'll be a good phony phone call.
Howard said he was watching more episodes of ''I Am Jazz.'' He said she got her bottom surgery. He said the penis wasn't enough skin but they used some of her stomach lining for the vagina. He said she went home and the whole thing opened up and they had to do an emergency surgery. That led to Howard doing more of his mother's voice telling him that it'll never be like a real vagina.
Howard said what they were doing to this poor girl. He said he could barely watch. He said they had such problems with this vagina because there wasn't enough of a penis to use. He said Jazz is very smart and she says that she's glad she got the hormones early. He said the second they gave her the vagina she was happy. He said she got a boyfriend quickly because she felt like a complete girl for the first time.
Howard had his parents commenting on that quickly. Howard said this Jazz has great parents who help her out with all of this stuff. He said that the mother is happy for her Jazz becoming a girl.
Howard went into his mother's voice again and had her telling him he has no idea what a bad day really is. She was going on and on about how bad her life was with her sister. He had his dad talking about how bad things were for him too.
Howard said he can't even tell them that he had a bad day. He said forget about telling them that he's trans. Ben and Ray kept popping up and going over the awful things that happened to them in their lives. They told Howard to stop with the nonsense. Howard said he'll keep his penis and live his life as a miserable man. Howard said he should end the show because it's late. He ended the show around 11:00am.
Howard said he's watching a TV show and he's a Queen Latifah fan. He said that she's not in the best shape at all and she's in a TV show called The Equalizer. He said he's a big fan of the movie with Denzel Washington. He didn't like the TV show before this new one. He said this guy can beat the shit out of people and you can buy it with Denzel. Robin said he was an older guy and he was able to make it happen.
Howard said now they have Queen Latifah as the Equalizer. He said that he's not uptight about women being the person who can beat people up. He said he has watched a few movies where women beat the shit out of guys. He said he's not uptight about that at all. He said with all due respect the woman is not in shape and she's killing and beating the shit out of people. He said even the fight scenes have guys who are ripped and they all fall and she doesn't even lift a leg. He said they just collapse. He said it frustrated him so much that he deleted the show. He said that he started watching it again and put the season pass back on when he saw it again. He said it's crazy. He said he gets so angry watching it but he has to watch the show. He said he thinks maybe he can accept her as the Equalizer. He said there's no way she could run down the street and catch someone. He said she's out of shape.
Howard said that it's unbelievable. He said he figured that maybe 50 people passed on the show and she got it. He said why not Stephen Hawking as the Equalizer. He said in one scene in the second episode she's using a punching bag. He said she has no muscle tone whatsoever. He said George Foreman wasn't really in shape but he was a powerful boxer. He said he had to convince himself that she was like that. He said that it's like Louie Anderson as the Equalizer. Robin said it's not that bad. Howard said it's pretty bad. Robin said she hasn't watched.
Howard said he's having a hard time with that whole thing. He said he likes a lot of the CBS shows. He said they have SEAL Team and shows like that. He said they have FBI and another FBI show with a semicolon.
Robin said she's going to try to watch Clarice. Howard said he wasn't going to but he is going to try that one too. He said he's TiVo'ing that one. He said that he realized what the show is about and he wants to check it out. He said a lot of these shows he watches while he's on the treadmill. He said he has to watch something because of the horror of walking on that thing.
Howard said he's watching a show on Netflix that's like FBI but they're NCIS. Robin said that's been on for a while too. Howard said that will last him a while. He said he's going to watch Queen Latifah too but it's pretty upsetting. Robin said that's like watching Steven Seagal movies. Howard said the guy only smacks guys around now so he's not even watching those. He said he has to lose a few pounds to make it believable. He said he has some gravitas. He said Queen Latifah came out of the blue. He said you used to be able to believe that Seagal beat people up. He said even Denzel was hard to believe. Howard said that he is watching Queen Latifah.
Howard said that they say that the President can't be impeached if the breaks the law in January. Trump said that there are no consequences and he could have put the My Pillow guy on the Supreme Court if he wanted to. Howard said he's the only President who has been impeached twice.
Trump said that no one gets acquitted on a Saturday. He said that he wasn't sure who to call into that day. Howard asked if he's worried about civil lawsuits from January 6th. Trump said he'll pardon himself from pardoning himself if that happens.
Howard asked Trump why he thinks he won after being impeached. Trump said that they didn't have 40 spineless republicans following his every command like a mail order bride. Howard asked why he wasn't down there marching with the people. Trump said he said Mexico would pay for the wall and Coronavirus would go away in the spring.
Howard asked if he saw the video of the Capitol being attacked. Trump said he did and he should have had them run instead of walk. Howard asked if he thinks the Proud Boys had a lot to do with the whole thing. Trump said he likes them for liking him.
Howard asked what his big plan is now. Trump said he's going to eBay everything he stole from the White House. He said they stripped the copper out and they're moving that trough a guy in Brooklyn. He said he'd like to get a fresh piece of ass too.
Howard said he has a great life at Mar-A-Lago. He said he gets to play golf every day and he has great food there. He said he's not sure why he wanted to be president. Trump said he's glad it's over but what a mess. He said he has all of these legal cases and they won't let him live there at Mar-A-Lago. He said he's done so much there for that little town. Howard said that he was doing well in show business. He said he had his TV show and all of that. He said he could play the Equalizer. Trump said he's ripped so of course he could. He said he has the best body.
Howard said he misses the days when he would come on the show and evaluate actresses. He said that he'd rate women. He asked if there's anyone he sees on TV now. Trump said there's someone on TikTok that he likes. He said there are a lot of younger women out there. He said they're younger than they used to be. Howard said Margot Robbie is a very attractive woman. He said that Trump used to say that regular women were hotter. Trump said the stars think too much. He said a hair stylist will go wild if you get them back to your place.
Howard asked if Margot is a 10. Trump said she is but then she won't shut up so she's a 5.
Howard asked if Donald has any porn stars lined up. Trump said he would like to be with Rebecca Lord. He said that he has to do a lot of research though. He said that he's got to find more. Howard said he used to run that Miss Teen pageant and he was able to look at the women back stage. Trump said they'd tell him to get out of there weirdo when he'd do that. He said he had to inspect the changing area. He said he had to make sure it was nice. He said he had his pick of anyone out there.
Howard said he used to think that he had it made with these pageants. He said they eventually took away the bathing suit competition. He said he was so good at running them. He said he got the hottest women on the shows. He said that he didn't care how smart they were. Trump said women like women naked too so it works for everyone.
Howard asked if he'd ever run a pageant in the future. Trump said that he could easily bring them back. He said he could get the winner an internship. He said they'd have the hottest girls. He said he could get them right on FOX News.
Howard said Ronnie tweeted out that it's titty Tuesday. Trump said no one loves tits more than he does. He said he likes them big. He said if they're big enough they obscure the face. He said that will do in a pinch. He said that makes it a lot easier for someone like him.
Howard said he was looking at some of the women in the insurrection. He said they weren't so attractive. Trump said the hot ones hang back at the tailgate. Howard said the women in the Capitol weren't that hot. Trump said a lot of his rioters weren't that attractive and didn't have all of their teeth either.
Howard said he asked Ronnie to put together a list of the 10 hottest women on TV. He said he's into hot chicks like Trump is. He said that he could get him on and give his list. Trump said he'd like that.
Howard got Ronnie on and Trump told him that he should be careful going out to Las Vegas. He said he might want to move out of there. Ronnie said this is his last hurrah and he's not going anywhere after that. Howard said he could change his mind and want to move to Florida. Ronnie said he's not moving to Florida.
Howard asked if the house is being built in Las Vegas. Ronnie said it's going to start this month. He said a lot of things have been messed up because of COVID. He said that it should take 6 months to build. Howard said that sounds short. Ronnie said they have the weather so it doesn't take long out there.
Trump asked if he's going to be on the side of the mountain out there. Ronnie said it's close to the mountain. Howard said tomorrow the Trump Plaza is being demolished. Trump said they have been very mean to him down there. He said what a dump that town is.
Howard said Ronnie is going to give his list now. He said they'll get off the Vegas move. He asked if he has a lot of anxiety about the move. Ronnie said he does. He said it's very overwhelming. He said he's moving from New York to Las Vegas. He said it's cross country and it's a lot of pressure. Howard said he's going to get a moving company and move stuff. Ronnie said it's a lot of stuff. He said he's going to have his cars taken by transporter. He said it's a lot of stress. He said he has to pack there and get rid of things. He said it's just crazy.
Trump said moving is a pain in the ass. He said he had to move from Washington DC to Mar-A-Lago. Howard asked what Ronnie is throwing away. Ronnie said he has a lot of stuff. Howard asked about that giant tire he has from NASCAR. Ronnie said that stuff stays. He said he's taking it with him. Robin said it looks like he's already packed that room. Ronnie said not yet.
Howard asked if he's bringing that blow up dragon for Christmas. Ronnie said he's bringing that. Howard said his neighbors might think he's white trash with that. He asked about the dildo collection. Ronnie said that's going with him. He said that's not going on the plane with him though so it'll be in the moving truck.
Howard asked Ronnie about this hottest women on TV list. Ronnie said he used the world of television for this. He said there are a lot of hot girls who don't get recognition on TV. He said that's what this list is. Howard said he's making him nervous because they may have to Google all of the girls. He said that there are a lot of women who people don't know who don't get the recognition. He said you may not see them in the spotlight all the time. He said it's like what Trump said about the hair dresser. Trump asked Ronnie who he voted for. Ronnie told him not to worry about who he voted for. Howard asked if Trump is still angry with Pence. Trump said he's not happy. He said that he could have still been president if he had just moved faster.
Howard said now they're going to get the list from Ronnie. He said he's an expert on women. He said it should be a great list. Ronnie asked if he should start at the top or bottom. Trump said bottom up. Ronnie said at number 10 they have talked about. He said they're from LA's Finest. He said Gabrielle Union and Jessica Alba. He said they're two smoking hot chicks. He said they're both at number 10. Howard said he didn't even know Jessica Alba was on a show. He said Gabrielle was on America's Got Talent and wants to sue them. He said he's just talking about her background. Howard asked which one is hotter. Ronnie said he has to say Gabrielle. Howard said she's 48 years old. Trump said that can't be right. He said he may have to change his thoughts on black women. Howard asked the guys to confirm her age. Jon Hein said that she is, in fact, 48 years old.
Howard asked Trump if Ronnie is so old that 48 looks like 28. Trump said absolutely.
Ronnie said he has a group of girls on NBC Sports and FOX Sports. Howard asked what's with grouping the women together. Ronnie said this is 9, 8 and 7. He said they're just sports reporters. Howard said okay. Ronnie said at number 9 is a NBC News reporter named Kelly Stavast. He said she does a lot of sports coverage.
Ronnie said at number 8 works at FOX Sports and her name is Jamie Little. Trump asked what happened to her face.
Ronnie said at number 7 he has Shannon Spake from FOX Sports. Howard said he asked for a top 5. He said he's not sure why they're only at number 7. Howard said Shannon is 44 and she's a big fan of the show. He said she's been on the Wrap Up Show.
Ronnie said at number 6 he has Perdita Weeks from Magnum PI. Howard said she's from Wales. He said that she's hot too.
Ronnie said at number 5 is Kate Miner from Shameless.
Ronnie said at number 4 he has Manuela Arbelaez from the Price is Right.
Ronnie said at number 3 he has Rachel Reynolds from the Price is Right as well.
Ronnie said at number 2 is Amber Lancaster from the Price is Right too. He said that Drew Carey is really cool on that show too.
Ronnie said at number 1 is a show that's crazy. He said that it's Halston Sage from Prodigal Son. He said she's so beautiful. He said her face and body is something. Howard said he knows who he's talking about. He asked if she's nude in any movies. Ronnie said he's not sure but he can't stop watching that show. Trump said she's very regal looking. Howard said she's 27 years old. He said what a tremendous honor for her to be chosen by Ronnie to be number 1.
Howard said he hopes to hear a list from Trump. Trump said that his daughter Ivanka will always be number 1 on his list. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said he has a fact for Ronnie. He said that Halston Sage makes out with Rose Byrne in the 2012 movie Neighbors. Ronnie said he'll have to check that out. Howard said that was Ronnie's list. He said these are women who don't get enough attention. He said that people will look them up and find out more about them today.
Howard said Ronnie can go back to packing for Las Vegas. He said he could throw out a lot more stuff. They played Ronnie off with a song parody about him still being insane.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he always liked this song. He said it's a beautiful song.
Howard said he saw they were making a big deal that Tom Brady got drunk after the Super Bowl win. He said he's not sure what the deal is but they were making fun of him. He said he was somewhere and threw the trophy he had and threw it into the crowd where he was. Robin said it was a teammate who was on another boat so they were both on boats. She said he pitched it to him and the guy caught it. Howard said whatever the trophy is got thrown and the daughter of the guy who makes the trophies wants an apology. He said you miss the days of when people didn't give their every thought and opinion. He said Tom Brady has the right to shit into that trophy if he wants to. He said this woman has no reason to complain about what he does with the trophy.
Howard read about what the woman was complaining about and said no one cares. He said it sounds ridiculous that she didn't sleep for 2 nights because of what Tom did with the trophy. He said he doesn't have to respect the trophy. He said it doesn't matter if her father made it. Howard said this woman wants an apology for her father and other silversmiths. Howard said this world has become so nutty. He said everything has just gone crazy.
Howard said he read about this Bruce Springsteen controversy. He said that he did a Jeep commercial for the Super Bowl. He said he did this thing and it was very socially conscious. He said then Jeep had to cancel it because Bruce got a DWI. He said the story is that Bruce was on his motorcycle and some fans talked to him and gave him a shot of tequila and a cop saw it so the cop stopped him and gave him a test and accused him of being intoxicated. He said he ended up blowing a .02 and he wasn't legally drunk according to that but he was arrested. He said now federal prosecutors are coming into it. He said that Jason and Gary were arguing about this today. He said Jason felt that Gary is the biggest Bruce fan and he was defending him because of that. He said Jason doesn't like what Bruce did.
Howard said he has to weigh in on this. Howard said if he only blew a .02 after drinking the tequila then he's on Gary's team here. He said he's not sure why he has to go through all of this. Jason said that the guy clearly wasn't drunk as a skunk driving around. He said his point is that people get arrested all the time. He said you don't have to blow over a .02 to get arrested for DWI. He said his point was that Gary was defending the guy because he's a fan. He said it's easy to drink a beer behind the wheel. He said that cops can arrest you for drinking a can of beer. It doesn't matter how drunk you are.
Howard said from what he read he wasn't sitting in a car but his motorcycle was nearby. He said that he wasn't behind the wheel. Jason said Bruce himself said he had two shots. He said you don't need to be drunk to be arrested. He said the .08 thing is legally drunk and you get arrested no matter what. He said that many people have been arrested and convicted over drinking and never blowing a .08.
Howard said when Gary's son was very young he asked him if he was related to Bruce because Gary loved him so much. He asked Gary if this is a case of him being a fan boy or is there something else there. Gary said he didn't say Bruce didn't do it. He said he didn't say he wasn't capable of doing it. He said Jason came out and was vilifying him over this. Gary said he found something fishy going on there. He said he thought it was odd that he was arrested for blowing a .02. He said he thinks Jason doesn't like Bruce and this is that. Jason said he has no feelings toward Bruce. He said he doesn't hate the guy. Gary said all he was saying was that they should let the whole thing play out. He said they have an internal web site that they use and Jason loves to be right. He said he posted 21 times to his 6 times and Jason won't let it go.
Howard asked if Jeep overreacted by canceling the commercial. Gary said who knows. He said the Jeep people begged him to do the spot and they did it just 11 days before the game and they finally got him and this happens.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a police officer and he has a point of view on this. He said that you can't let something like this go anymore. He said you have to make an arrest. Howard said he still doesn't get why he was arrested if he blew a .02. the caller said that a CDL license driver is even lower than a .08. He said there are different rules. He said he's not sure about Bruce. Howard said there's no way he has a CDL.
Gary said that a lawyer was saying that people should not take a breathalyzer. Gary said Bruce took a blood test. He said that it wasn't the breathalyzer. He said that the guy is 71 years old too and being able to stand up straight might not be that easy. Gary said not every police officer is reliable either.
Howard said he's just wondering about the .02 thing. Jason said he talked to Danny Cevallos about this and the police have the ability to arrest someone if they think that they're drunk. He said it doesn't have anything to do with the breathalyzer or blood test.
Jason said there was another case when Gary said illegal is illegal and there is no challenging that. Gary said he has since changed his mind on that. He said that is true what he said on that day. Robin asked how Jason knew how he felt on Eric Garner. Gary said they talk every day. Howard said in that case people would overlook someone selling cigarettes. Robin said Gary was the guy saying that he wanted to go back to the day when he didn't know anyone's opinions but they tell each other their opinions every day.
Howard said he just wants to know who's actually doing work over there. Gary said Jason has to win at everything. He said if you pick a fight with him you had better come fully equipped. Howard said he was perplexed over the whole arrest thing. Jason said there's more to it than the .02 thing. He said the cop said that Bruce failed several sobriety tests. Howard said Gary did say that it's not easy for a 71 year old to pass one of those tests. Robin said that he's not a doddering old man.
Howard asked Gary if he would let his son sit in the car while Bruce drove if he had taken two shots. Gary said that's not the question here but no he wouldn't. He said that the story is being politicized. He said Jason went to FOX News for his story and he went to CNN. Jason said he had a named source in the story he got and Gary did not.
Howard took a call from a guy who said in New Jersey they don't give breathalyzer tests. He said they do the sobriety test. He said that could be why he was charged. He said the blood test thing can take a while and it could go down because of that. He said that alcohol does burn off after a certain amount of time. Howard said he doesn't know about any of this. Gary said this was federal police so it's not the regular New Jersey police.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Gary and Jason have a history here because it sounds pretty bad. Howard said that Gary may still be upset about the plantain chips thing and Jason is very vocal so that's where all of this comes from. Howard said he does think that they don't like each other anymore. He said both of them are smiling and there may be some animosity between them.
Gary said he and Jason do get on each other's nerves. He said that Jason will throw you under the bus and he may have been the last one to find that out. Jason said he loves Gary and he gets super annoyed and frustrated by him a lot. He said it can boil over.
Howard asked Jason if he feels that he invaded his privacy when he talked about the plantain chips. Jason said they were on his desk so he saw them there. Gary said he told him not to go into his office after that. Jason said he has an open office so they have to see what's going on in there. He said if you don't like it then go work in an office where you don't have cameras. Howard said Jason is right and he did find out about the tub of plantain chips. Robin said that was radio gold.
Howard said Gary is very happy that he doesn't have to work in an office yet. He said he's anxious to get back to that though. Jason asked if he gets that he did the right thing now. Gary said no. He said Jason enjoys being that guy. He said not everyone wants to be who he is. Jason said they do it quietly. He said he has 10,000 spies.
Howard said 60 percent of the staff think that Gary and Jason don't like each other. Gary said that he likes Jason but he does get on his nerves sometimes.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jason's voice goes through him like a chain saw. He said fuck you Jason. Jason just laughed.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Bruce Springsteen is wrong. She said that it's bullshit that this happened in November and he still went though with the commercial. She said that this liberal bullshit has to stop. Howard said that he's just asking about the .02 and how they arrested him for that. Mariann said maybe he had weed or something. Howard said he doesn't know and he's trying to get the facts. Mariann said that a lot of people have been arrested for that. Howard said how dare you ask what's with the liberal bullshit. Howard said he's just asking questions.
Mariann said this happened on November 1st. Robin said she wants to know what he got paid to tell us how to live. Mariann kept bringing up the November 1st thing and said that's the cover up. Howard said he didn't cover it up. He asked how he could cover that up. Robins said the news didn't come out until after the commercial aired. Howard asked why it didn't. Howard said Mariann thinks he's defending him but he's not. He said he's just asking questions. He said if he goes out and drives he doesn't drink. Mariann said she doesn't either. She said if Bruce was arrested November 1st and he did that commercial then why didn't he tell Jeep that. She said don't preach to the choir. Howard said maybe he did. He said he doesn't know if he did or not. He said people who make cars fuck up too. Mariann said someone had to know. She said that he should come on the show and explain himself.
Robin and Mariann were talking over each other. Howard cut Mariann off and played a song parody about her from James Cargill.
Howard said the story is that Bruce had a DWI and blew a .02 or had a blood test that came up with that. He said the facts have not all come out yet. He said he still doesn't know what happened. Robin said they shouldn't be arguing about it then. Howard said he's just asking questions. He said he doesn't think Bruce is even this upset about his DWI. Robin said they chased Bruce for how many years and she'd like to know what he was paid for being sanctimonious. Howard said we don't know the answers to those questions. Howard said maybe he gave the money to charity.
Gary said his point wasn't that he was innocent but they should let it play out. He said Jason was nailing him to the cross. Jason said he should go back and read it because he was just pointing out that Gary was jumping to his defense before it all came out. Gary said he was just saying let it all play out first.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he had a .01 DWI himself and the cop didn't like him. He said the judge didn't give him the DWI because he wasn't technically drunk. He said Bruce will probably get away with it. Howard asked how many drinks he had to blow that .01. The caller said he had a couple of beers earlier in the evening and his car was swerving because of his suspension being shot. He said he didn't pass the yellow line so that's how he got away with it. He said the judge said that he wasn't able to give him a DWI. Howard cut him off and said he has even more things on his brain.
Robin said she had trouble sleeping last night so she got up and watched The Bachelor. She said she over slept this morning because of that. She said she blames. Howard for that. Howard said he'll take that hit.
Howard said maybe he should do a Sternac thing here. He said that Mariann going off on him was something else. He said that his number 1 fan turned on him. He said hell remember that next New Year's Eve when he's making calls. He said he doesn't like those outbursts. Howard said he's not sure if he's up for doing Sternac. He said he will do it for the fans. He said he's not doing it for Mariann. He said maybe he will do it for her too. Howard said he'll take a break and get to that. He went through the turbans he had to wear. He asked Robin which one he should try. Robin said she likes the bigger one. Howard said he thinks he should wear that one too because that's what Johnny Carson did as Carnac. Howard said he borrowed that from Nick Cannon. He said this is the one he wore when Nick came on the show. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he's been watching a lot of old Ozzy videos on Instagram. He said he likes seeing a young Ozzy. He said he was so funny. He said he watches his concerts and giving interviews as a young man. He said he's given him so much pleasure over the years. He thanked Ozzy for that.
Howard said he saw an interview that Ozzy did from bed with Sharon. He said he was so incoherent and it was great. He said he just announced that he got his first COVID shot. He said that he loves watching Ozzy.
Howard said he's going to go into character in a moment. He said he wanted to go over something first. He said he watched Johnny Carson doing Carnac to get into character. He said just so you know he does a lot of work for this show.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about the Trump impeachment verdict. He said he knows a lot of people don't like to hear about his opinion but here goes. He read some positive feedback about that discussion he had about his opinion and the impeachment thing. Howard said you don't have to do what he says because it's just his opinion.
Howard said they got a lot of feedback about King of All Blacks being on the show yesterday. He said they got a massive amount of negative feedback. He said he talked about being farted on by his wife and things like that. He said listeners were 100 percent repulsed. Howard read through some of those comments. People were disgusted and asking for no more King of All Blacks this year.
Howard said King also revealed that he would go into women's hampers and take out their panties. He said the audience was even more disgusted by that revelation. Howard said he talked about the gel he'd find in the panties and he'd lick it to get the smell reactivated.
Howard said they spoke to King after yesterday's show and he was very proud of his revelations. He said he did get one positive email and it was signed by Harvey Weinstein.
Howard said yesterday he was discussing the Foo Fighters and their ''Shame, Shame'' song and the song that his dad used to sing that was ''Shame on You.'' He said he found out the origins of that song. He played some of the song and said he didn't know much about tit. He said it was Spade Cooley who did the song and the fans wrote in about Spade who was convicted of murdering his wife. He said that song was about cheating. He said he may have had an obsession about it.
Howard read some feedback they got about the song and Spade Cooley. While Howard talked about that Fred played clips of OJ Simpson laughing.
Howard read about Spade Cooley's arrest and found out that he was out on release when Ronald Reagan got him released. Howard said that he died of a heart attack when he was out. Howard said think about this story. He said Jon Hein had more details about it. He said the song he wrote was basically accusing his wife of this thing.
Howard had Jon get on to talk about it. Jon said that this story is crazy. He said Spade was Roy Rogers stand in for 3 years. He said he became famous and his wife was the violin player in the band. He said later in life he was accusing his wife of cheating with Roy Rogers and two homosexuals and joining a sex cult. He said he was obsessed with cheating. He said when she dies she's found in a shower battered and bruised and it was clear that someone had roughed her up. He said Spade claimed that she fell in the shower. He said it turns out that the 14 year old daughter was brought in and threatened by Spade. He said he cut off his wife's nipples. Fred played more OJ clips.
Jon said at the trial the guy had a heart attack right before. He said he was convicted right away. He said he got life in prison and got out 9 years later when Reagan pardoned him while he was governor. He said he went to do a concert and he played that song and he came back stage and said this was the first day of the rest of his life and he dropped dead of a heart attack.
Howard said that's a crazy story. He said it's like a movie. Jon said he's supposed that Quentin Tarantino hasn't made it yet. Robin said it sounds like he beat his wife to death and tortured the woman her whole life. Fred kept playing OJ laughs.
Howard said listen to this song. He played it again and said that he's singing to his wife. Fred had OJ laughing during the whole song.
Howard asked if you can believe this. He asked OJ if he blasted this song on his way to Nicole's house. Fred had OJ laugh and say ''I'm just sayin'''
Howard said you'll see this on the app. He said there are beads hanging in front of his face. He said he's going to do this anyway.
Howard said that Johnny Carson used to do this character named Carnac the Magnificent and he'd hold an envelope to his head and he'd have the answer to a question that was inside the envelope. Howard said he's going to do that now as Sternac.
Howard said he has to get into character. He did his impression of Carson and became Sternac. Robin did her Ed McMahon impression and introduced Sternac with a really long introduction. Howard did his Sternac thing and
Robin did her thing with the envelopes and said that she has them all there and kept them where no one ever goes... Trump University. She said that Sternac is going to have the answers without ever having seen the questions.
Sternac said he has the envelopes there. He said the first answer is ''Toupee.'' He then said the question was ''What's something no one offers when out dining with Howard Stern?''
Sternac said the next answer is Beetlejuice. He opened the envelope and said the question was ''What does sir Paul McCartney call his ejaculate?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''The Basement of a house for sale, Tan Mom's Vagina and Poultry markets in Wuhan.'' Sternac opened the envelope and said ''Name 3 things to avoid when wet.''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Ten thousand hours.'' Then he said the question was ''How long does it take Robin Quivers to reply to a text?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Hydroxychloroquine and Gary Dell'Abate.'' He said the question was ''Name two things that don't work.''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Fauci.'' The question was ''What do you say when you stub your toe in front of your mother?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Wearing a mask and staying six feet apart.'' The envelope said ''What is Beth's favorite sexual position with Howard?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Cloris Leachman, Larry King and Screech.'' The envelope said ''Name the only three people in Los Angeles who don't have a podcast.''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Alt right, alt right, alt right.'' The envelope said ''What does a bad Matthew McConaughey impression sound like?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Game Stop, Bit coin and Asian Pete.'' The envelope said ''Name three things most Americans can't understand.''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Moderna.'' The envelope said ''How does Ronnie pronounce the name Madonna?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Stand back and stand by.'' The envelope said ''What did Jason Kaplan say to his butcher before he started Nutrisystem?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Dustin Diamond, the official fruit of Georgia and Ralph.'' The envelope said ''Name a Screech, a peach and a leach.''
Sternac said the next answer is ''CDC.'' The envelope said ''How does Wendy the slow Adult spell Cat?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Well hung.'' The envelope said ''how would Trump supporters like to see Mike Pence?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Johnson and Johnson.'' The envelope said ''Name the first two things Chris Wilding will put in his mouth after COVID.''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Zoom.'' The envelope said ''What sound does Ronnie make when he plays with his NASCAR toys in his basement?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Robin Hood.'' The envelope said ''What does Robin Quivers call her clitoris?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Snoop Dogg, Mariann from Brooklyn and Gary Dell'Abate.'' The envelope said ''Name a rapper, a yapper and a napper.''
Sternac said the next answer is ''Howard Stern Comes Again.'' The envelope said ''What happens when Ralph checks the inseam of Howard's underpants?''
Sternac said the next answer is ''The Chiefs and Richard Christy.'' The envelope said ''Name two losers from Kansas City.'' Howard asked how long this goes on. He said he thinks this is the last one.
Sternac said the next answer is ''Game Stop.'' The envelope said ''What did the producers of Jeopardy refuse to do when Alex Trebek died?''
(There were a lot of ''May you...'' jokes in between these envelope jokes. I just couldn't keep up.)
Sternac wrapped up and said may your producer spend all day organizing his vinyl. Howard came back and said his hair is all fucked up now. Robin said that was like a sauna for his head. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he's sure this isn't from his playlist. He said he's not above loving a Kelly Clarkson tune but ''Because of you?'' He asked where they found this. Robin said no one is talking. Gary said they say this is from his list. Howard said he is a Kelly Clarkson fan but that doesn't seem right.
Howard said that he watches American Idol religiously. He said this year they had on the daughter of Kellyanne Conway on. He said they let her through. He said he tuned in and he gets it. He said he had to see Claudia Conway sing. Robin said she couldn't believe that Luke Bryan was a no. Howard said they probably fired him right after that. He said that whole Kellyanne and her husband thing is crazy. He said the kid lets you know that her mom is insane and her parents are fighting all the time. He said the kid is fighting with her mother too because she's against Trump. He said this kid auditioned and the mother was on Zoom. He said you always hear that they're fighting but then they're saying they love each other on screen. He said this is great television. He said ABC is being criticized for taking advantage of the kid. Howard said they've always done that on American Idol. He said this is what they do. He said it's a reality show.
Howard said that they had one kid on whose mother abandoned her. He said she sings a song about her mother abandoning her and then breaks down crying. He said then Lionel Ritchie hands her his handkerchief during a pandemic. He said he hated all of that kind of stuff during his time on America's Got Talent. He said they have to do fun little things in between everything. He said they have banter and silliness. He said he hated that stuff on America's Got Talent. He said he's not a jester. He said he signed on to be a judge. He said they made him go hang out with the tother judges. He said he had to eat with them and make it look like they all hang out together. He said he can tell that Katy Perry can't stand Lionel. He said she only talks to Luke Bryan.
Howard said when he was a judge he wanted to be ignored. He said that he asked to sit out during Howie Mandel's hijinks. He said he didn't like that kind of thing. He hated the shtick. He said American Idol got Claudia Conway on. He said she's pretty good but she won't win. Robin said maybe she was holding back. She said she liked that Luke Bryan didn't get what they were going for and said he was a no. Howard said they're struggling for ratings so they need someone like Claudia on the show.
Howard said that he enjoys American Idol. He said he likes to see the kids audition and crying. He said he doesn't watch America's Got Talent anymore. He said he doesn't like Simon Cowell anymore. He said he'd tell him to fuck off if he ran into him somewhere. He said he can't watch the show with him on that show. He asked who is on the show now. Robin said Heidi is back and Howie is still there. Robin said Mel B is gone. Howard said she was good.
Howard said he knows that American Idol is being criticized but they use everyone on that show. He said they're not just using this Conway kid. Howard said the country is a nation of users. He said nature will take care of everything eventually.
Howard said he gets what J.T. is saying. He said there's nothing more uncomfortable than not being able to fuck your wife. He said even if you don't like it you do it. Robin said it's tough on the wife too. She said that women think they can't get the guy excited.
J.T. said that they're raising their grandson and he asks his wife if there's anything else he can do and she says there's nothing like getting fucked. Howard asked what he weighs. J.T. said he's about 225 and 6'3'' tall. He said that he lost some weight a few years ago.
Howard said he had something going on a few years ago and he had to take medication. He said the first medication he took made him wake up in the morning without his morning wood. He said he woke up all the time with morning wood but not on this medication. He said he called his doctor and he told him that was one of the side effects of the medication. He said he wanted off of that medication right away. He said he'd see this little nubbin come out of his underpants. He said he wanted to look like he had a huge cock but it wasn't showing like that with that mediation. He said he changed the medication and he eventually got off of that. He said he was in a panic when he wasn't able to get morning wood. He said it was scary. He said he knows what J.T. is going through.
Howard said this is a guy who can't get hard. He said it has to be the medication. He said he must be able to look into it and find out what he can take. J.T. said he has been trying. He said he's losing weight and staying active. He said he had a stroke 2 and a half years ago. He said he changed his life around after that. He said that was the last box to check to be able to fuck his wife. He said he still loves her.
Howard said maybe ego down on her and let her play around with that limp noodle. He said maybe he can try fucking her with the soft on. He said he could get it in there. He said maybe it feels so good you're not doing too badly. J.T. said he can't even jerk off and he loved doing that. Howard said he loves that too. He said he just did it yesterday.
Robin said he should tell J.T. about the Leslie West thing. Howard said Leslie had a shot he'd inject into his penis that could help him get hard. He said J.T. should look into that. He said if you come to New York or L.A. you can find a doctor to help. Howard said maybe a penis pump. J.T. said he was trying to get it going last night.
Howard said Ronnie has some advice for J.T.. He let Ronnie get on to say something to him. Ronnie said that he just said he didn't have anything to say. He said there's nothing he can really do. He said that he was just going to say play around with his wife and try rubbing his dick in her ass cheeks. He said it seems like that may not even work. He said he has nothing really to say to help.
Howard said he likes him treating this in a serious manner. Ronnie said the ass cheek thing might work. Howard said he can't get hard at all. Ronnie said he didn't have anything to add to that. Howard said Ronnie works out and watches what he eats. He said he's fucking almost every day. Ronnie said he would if he could but Stephanie works long hours and she's exhausted. He said Thursday to Sunday are their days. Howard said that's amazing that he can do that at his age.
Howard said he needs a day off when he does it. He said he can't do it more than one day in a row. Ronnie said he saves it up for Stephanie. He said that sometimes they just do it even on a ''school'' night. He said that he tries to wait for the weekend if they're not doing it during the week. He said he doesn't jerk off.
Howard took a call from a guy named Bill who said that he wants to know if he takes blood pressure medicine. J.T. said he takes 3 different kinds. Bill said he had his medicine changed and he went from raging hard ons to wet spaghetti. He said he tried to jerk off and he wasn't able to do it. He said his wife thought he was cheating on her but it was the medication. He said they changed it and his wood came back within 2 weeks. Howard said there you go. He said J.T. needs a top notch guy in there to help him out.
Howard took a call from another guy who said that they had Flip Wilson on years ago and he had a penis pump. He said he had a friend who had prostate cancer and he recommended that to his friend and he had great results. He said he had it put in and it works or him. Howard said J.T. has to get back in the game.
Howard said J.T.'s wife wants to say a few words. He took the call and it was a dude not even trying to change his voice as the wife.
Howard said he has another woman on the phone to give advice. It was Chris Wilding doing his ''Mildred'' (Blue Iris) impression. She told J.T. what she could do for him.
Howard said he thinks that J.T. needs to get a different doctor and change up his medication. He said that he has to get in touch with a good doctor. J.T. asked if he can call back and give updates. Howard said absolutely. He let him go after that.
Apples said he saw what Ronnie did for his queen Stephanie. He said he had chocolates and that Steven Singer Rose. He said he did some snooping and saw that he had a bunch of sugary cereals on his shelf. He said he was wondering if those were her's or Ronnie's. Howard said it has to be Stephanie's. He said Ronnie eats very healthy.
Ronnie got on and said he only eats Special K. He said Stephanie likes that sugary stuff. He said he knew that he was going to bring up that Lucky Charms thing because of Beth. He said she's been eating it for years so it didn't come up because of Beth.
Apples said he was just wondering if Ronnie eats that shit. Howard said Ronnie wasn't saying she eats it because of Beth. Ronnie asked why he'd bring it up if that wasn't what the deal was. He said that he's trying to cause some shit. Howard said he doesn't think it was an attack. Ronnie said it was. He said he put it up on his Twitter. Apples said that his Twitter is Apples4Life. Ronnie said he's doing this just to get to him. Apples said he didn't put that on Twitter. He said there's nothing like that on Twitter. He said he knew it would stir him up. He said that he wasn't doing it in a bad way.
Howard said Ronnie gets worked up so easily. Ronnie said he knew what he was doing and he knew that Howard would think that she was eating it because Beth eats it. Howard said he's paranoid. He said Apple wanted to know who was eating the Lucky Charms in his house. Robin asked why Howard would get upset if she was eating the same thing.
Howard said he though Ronnie was secretly fucking his wife and that's why he had it over there. Ronnie said that Stephanie likes Trix too.
Howard thanked Apples for the call. Ronnie went off on him again. Howard said Ronnie gets like this sometimes. Apples said that he just wanted to ask about he sugary cereals and it had nothing to do with Beth. Howard said he never said anything about Beth. Ronnie said he did say it. Howard said he did not.
Howard let Ronnie and Apples go at each other for a few. Apples said he loves Ronnie. Ronnie said yeah. Howard said he has to get rid of Apples. Ronnie said good. Howard said no one is accusing Stephanie of eating Lucky Charms because Beth does. Ronnie said he did. Howard said he did not. He said he has a hairline trigger. He said he's so paranoid. He said he's not sure why he gets so worked up. Ronnie said he called for that reason. He said Stephanie just has to take pictures and put them up on Instagram. He said he knew that some moron was going to call into the show and ask about the Lucky Charms. Robin said that's not what he said. Howard said Apples wanted to know who was eating it. He said it had nothing to do with Beth. Ronnie said that's why he called in though. He said this is what these people do. He said they love to rile him up. Robin asked why it riles him up. Ronnie said it's just so stupid.
Howard asked if he's mad at Stephanie for posting that picture. Ronnie said he told her to put it on a different table. He said he knew there would be some idiot who would call in about that.
Howard asked if he thinks that Stephanie subconsciously put them there because of Beth. Ronnie said he told her that she should have put it somewhere else. He said she said that she didn't even think about it. He said she doesn't hear the show so she doesn't know about it.
Howard asked if she should get approval of the pictures before posting them. Ronnie said a lot of times he does that. He said she shot some video of him a few weeks ago and she posted it. He said a lot of assholes they were posting about how old he looks. He said he asks her why she does this. Howard said she shouldn't be doing that. He asked why she does it. Ronnie said he has no idea. He said she thinks it's cute.
Howard asked if he's being cyberbullied. Ronnie said he's not. Howard said he doesn't think that Spade Cooley was this angry with his wife before he killed her.
Howard said he has the Lucky Charms mascot on the phone. He took the call and one of the guys was doing the impression but it didn't go over very well so Howard let him go.
Howard said Beth takes pictures of him and he won't let her post them. He said he has to give her approval. He said she shows him those pictures before she posts them.
Ronnie said he told Stephanie that someone was going to call in about it. He said it took a few days but it happened. Howard asked so what. He said they didn't even bring up the Lucky Charms. Ronnie said he did. Robin said he brought up the Trix and stuff and compared them.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who said that Ronnie was thinking before it was even posted that someone was going to bring it up. He said that he's a big narcissist. Howard said it is a big degree of narcissism if he thinks like that. He said he was right though. Ronnie said he knew there would be controversy.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they remember the time that Ronnie wasn't able to read a clock. He said that they might have to bring that up again because he seems to be losing his mind.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Ronnie has to calm down. He said a lot of people eat Lucky Charms. Ronnie said he knows that. Howard said Ronnie has a thing because people said he got divorced because Howard got divorced. Ronnie said that just wasn't true. Howard said that people accuse him of things all the time. He said that he's all freaked out with the Lucky Charms thing now. He said he wants to prove that he has his own thing going on. Ronnie said that's just not true.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that it might be subliminal and has something to do with the tiny leprechaun on the Lucky Charms. Ronnie said sure that's it. Howard said it has something to do with Beth talking about liking Lucky Charms and now people are accusing her of being like Beth. Howard said he'd be honored if that was true. He said no one really cares though.
Howard said even Jeff the Drunk says he needs to chill. He took a call from Jeff who said he saw that picture and never even thought about that stuff. Ronnie said it was Apples who brought it up. Jeff said something about Merle Haggard being released from Fulsom and Howard just hung up on him.
Howard said that the controversy was the cereal and thinking that people are saying that Stephanie eats the same thing as Beth. Howard said Ronnie is very uptight about that stuff. He said that he's not like them but he doesn't like the audience thinking he's like them. Ronnie said it's just because of the cereal. Ronnie said she's been eating that as long as he's known her. Howard asked if she's cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Ronnie said she likes Trix. Robin said that Trix are for kids.
Howard asked Ronnie puppet what his girlfriend eats. He said she eats Trix and Lucky Charms. He said he's taking up painting but he's not copying anyone.
Howard asked if he had a big blow out with Stephanie over that. Ronnie said he didn't.
Howard told Ronnie to get out of the basement today. Ronnie said he's upstairs in the office. He said he's not in the basement. Howard said that a couple of times so he was just trying to set him off.
Howard let Ronnie go and said he's got a Tan Mom update but he'll save that for tomorrow.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to comment on the Ronnie thing. He said he hears that there's a quiver and shake in his voice. He said his dad had early onset dementia and maybe he's got that going on. Howard said he does notice the voice thing. The caller said he thinks that he's got early onset dementia and part of that is because of how easily he's set off. He said the anger also covers up the lack of cognitive thinking. He said that's where all of that could be coming from. Howard said he might be right. Robin said she hopes that's not the case.
Howard said Mariann feels very bad about fighting with him today. He took the call and Mariann said she can't sleep thinking they had an argument. She said she loves Howard and she's sorry. She said he's the best thing that ever happened to her. Howard said alright and hung up on her in the middle of a sentence.
Howard said they had a long show today. He said they had Jason and Gary arguing. Robin said it's always interesting to see the inner workings of the office there. Howard said they pulled back the curtain. Robin said she thought everyone got along back there.
Howard said the best cereal is Shredded Wheat. He said don't get the sugar one. He said that he's going to have some right now with a Metamucil cracker. He said they should say on the box that if you hate fun this is the cereal for you. He said he loves it though. Howard said they'll have more interesting topics tomorrow. He said he can't believe that Ronnie eats Special K. Robin said she didn't know they still made it. Howard said it always tasted like Rice Krispies to him. Robin said she thought it was more flaky but it was like Shredded Wheat. Howard said it must not be enough fiber because Ronnie had to pull shit out of his ass.
Ronnie got back on and went off on Robin about her saying that the berries in Special K are fake. He said they're freeze dried. Howard asked Ronnie about the hood he has hanging on his wall. Ronnie said it's a replica. Howard asked why he would have that. Ronnie said it's NASCAR so that's why.
Howard asked how much of that Special K he has. Ronnie said he doesn't measure. He said he just pours it in a bowl and pours on some almond milk. Howard said he measures his out to one cup. He said otherwise he'll eat too much. Ronnie puppet said he doesn't measure his cereal but he does measure his dildos.
Ronnie told Howard about a recipe he has for these great bars he makes with cereal and nuts. Howard asked who eats the Raisin Bran. Ronnie said that's his too. Robin said it all has to have some sugar in it. Ronnie asked if his voice is quivering. Howard said it is. He said his anger is up too. Ronnie said they can thank Apples for that. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:35am.
Howard said he was up too late watching ''I Am Jazz.'' He said she got her new vagina and it's a fucking mess. He said she has good doctors but it's a mess. Robin said she went in with problems. Howard said she was the toughest case they had ever seen. He said they put in the new vagina and they got 7 inches deep. He said she got a 7 inch deep vagina. He said that might be deeper than Robin's. Robin said she got an upgrade. Howard said he's not sure if his wife is that deep. He said he doesn't have a big enough tool to find out.
Howard said they needed more penis so they took some of her stomach and used that. He said the vagina is separating and they're using parts of her ass to get it to stop separating. He said meanwhile Jazz got a boyfriend. He said they're just kissing so far.
Howard said this guy isn't uptight about the transgender thing. Robin said things are so fluid these days that you don't have to be this or that. Howard said kids today are more accepting. He said if he did that when he was growing up it would have led to a lot of goofing on him.
Howard said Beth even stayed up to watch the show. He said she wasn't into it for a while but she's back. Howard said that family is really into that kid. He said the mother found Jazz making out with her boyfriend and Jazz asked for some privacy and the mom skulked away. Robin asked if they can handle things if they need to do something where they can't be her friend. Howard said they have limits.
Howard said that he must tell you that he felt that those guys who voted not to hold Trump accountable for the Capitol riots was nauseating. He said the thing is that they elect a lot of guys who are against science and against abortion and for guns down there. He said we need the second amendment and he believes in that. He said we need guns. He said when it comes to Texas and the power grid they have to stop voting for under achievers. He said they chose guys like Ted Cruz to run the state. Howard said the idiots he sees coming out of that state... He said that guy Rick Perry is so fucking dumb. He said that Trump appointed him and Perry is so dumb that he wanted to do away with three major things in government and he wasn't able to remember what they were. He said he wanted to secede from the country in 2009.
Howard said keep electing those guys and you see them on TV saying they're having trouble because there's solar power. He said that's bullshit. He said it wasn't solar that went down. He said they want to make it political so that's why they're saying that. He said it's their infrastructure that's failing. He said it's not solar.
Howard said they should be able to handle 2 and a half inches of snow down there. He said it's not a big deal. He said keep electing under achievers and this is what's going to happen. He said people are moving down there because they don't want to pay taxes. He said that Texas has the freedom they want but now they need government. He said this is when you need government. He said he's not sure who they're listening to down there.
Howard said people should have a sign that says ''No taxes, no heat'' in their house in Texas. He said that's what happens.
Howard said that there are free down there and they're free of electricity. Howard said Gary has friends down there who are timing the power coming back on so they can cook something. He said there's a guy down there blaming wind energy on this issue. He said he could get into the weeds with this but he's sure that people think he's wrong. He said you sit there with your freedom and let those under achievers run things. He said he's not saying that everyone in New York is great. He said there's a lot of ways that things can go wrong. He said if you get a few gems out there once in a while then elect them. He said don't keep electing the anti science and anti intellectual people.
Robin said it's still happening. She said they think it's the end days and they think it's got to do with the bible. She said they're looking for the sign of the beast and saying that's what the vaccine is. She said they just repeat whatever they hear.
Howard said if you get some great politician who maybe isn't as handsome as Rick Perry and wants to put his nose to the grindstone and wants to save your state and believes in science then go with that guy. He said take the brightest individual who is super motivated. Robin said they think the bright people are the devil.
Howard said last year there were power outages in California and some people in Texas were saying this is what happens when the democrats are left in charge. He said they blamed the democrats for their power problems and now they have the same issues and they can't blame them. He said you want government to work so you don't have to have the lights go out for 4 days.
Howard said he's sorry for this caller Jeremy. He said he was going to pick up and talk to him but he lost him. He said you live in the United fucking States so join us and stop trying to be on your own.
Howard took a call from another guy in Texas who said he was wondering about the politics thing and the cover up of the nursing homes by Cuomo. Howard said he doesn't think that's going to help you in Texas. Howard said he likes Cuomo. He said he'll talk about this if he wants. He said he doesn't like spending a lot of time on politics. He said he doesn't know enough about it to merit any kind of discussion. He said when a caller asks about Texas... The caller said how convenient that is. Howard said he thinks Cuomo is good but not perfect. He said he'll vote for him any time over Rick Perry. The caller said he would too. Howard said what an asshole. He hung up on the guy.
Howard said he talks about the problems in Texas and then this redneck calls in and brings up things that have nothing to do with it. Howard said this is what happens. He said he's not good enough with this shit to debate you about Cuomo. He said he doesn't have that in him. He said he's made a living talking about farting and Jazz's vagina. He said that he made a living talking about things that don't make people comfortable. He said if you're going to call up asking about Cuomo and that cover up he doesn't know how to answer that. He said he doesn't know much about it. He said at least their elderly died with electricity. He said he knows they're sitting in the cold down there.
Howard said he doesn't have the ability to talk about all of that stuff. He said he doesn't know enough about it.
Howard said if you want to make sense of this he has Alex Jones on the phone. He took a call from fake Alex who was going on and on about the Texas thing and blaming it all on the democrats for shutting down their power. He said that Biden is behind it. Robin asked what the purpose of this stuff is. Alex had all of these conspiracy theories about what's going on.
Howard asked what we should tell the people in Texas who don't know what to do. Alex said you need a nice warm hot cup of X2 Patriot coffee. He did a live commercial read for that.
Howard said he thinks Alex should run for office in Texas. He said they'd elect him in a second. Alex talked over Howard so he had to repeat himself. Alex said the democratic animals would never allow it.
Alex said he has an update on the George Soros thing. He asked where his clips are. He had to ask like Howard has to ask. Alex had some fake George Soros clips to play. He went into a break after that.
Robin said people really believe that stuff. She said they believe there's a combine run by Bill Gates. Howard said he wants to get some of that coffee that really seems to chill that guy out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's in Houston and he's a scientist. He said he agrees with him about how this has been handled. He said that it's pretty poor on multiple levels. Howard said they're not big on science down there. He said they want their freedom and now they have it. The caller said there are a lot of people suffering down there. Howard said he knows it and he feels for them.
Howard said that things are crazy in this country. Robin said she read that 56 percent of Americans are suffering from mental stress because of the pandemic. Howard said they have a whole group of people who are roaming around and having parties and going out to eat. He said they're acting like there isn't a pandemic. He said it's really weird to him. Robin said the sad thing is that Cuba had it under control because they wore masks and washed their hands. She said the tourists have gone down there and now they've gotten sick again. She said they had it under control until they opened it up again.
Howard took a call from Mildred from Texas (Chris Wilding) who said her dentures are frozen from the cold weather. She said she tried to finger her cunt last night and there's a huge block of ice up there. She said she needs some fucking heat.
Howard said he's not actually going to look into it. He said he just wants to hit a button and have it cascade. Robin said he's so sad. She said there is help for him and he won't take it. Howard said he hates that you have to go into the app and do that. He said he just wants to hit a button. He said the iPhone used to be simple. He said now it's gotten complex.
Howard took a call from Bobo because he saw that he was on the phone from 5:30 in the morning. He said he felt bad for him. Bobo said he saw that Bruce Springsteen took a drink from a stranger. He said it's times of COVID. Howard said he was surprised about the arrest with the .02 blood alcohol level. Robin said he was probably drunk at the time when he was stopped. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he thought it was interesting that he got off his motorcycle and hung out with fans. He said there's no way he's going to do that during a pandemic. Robin said Howard isn't a friendly guy. Robin said guys who ride motorcycles are friendly apparently. She said they won't drive in cars with people. She said they will ride with other people.
Howard said guys on motorcycles don't really have any place to go. He said they just ride. He said they're always looking for someone else to ride with. He asked if they don't have anything better to do. He said then you see Bruce riding around and drinking with people during COVID.
Howard said Fred is a big motorcycle guy. Fred said he's not the group kind of guy. He said he just likes to ride alone with his thoughts. Howard said he just goes out and rides for no reason though. He said he doesn't really go anywhere. Fred said he tries to get better with his motorcycle skills. He said he goes through winding roads and that's how he relaxes. He said Howard paints and he rides his motorcycle. He said there's a skill set there. He said that's like Robin racing cars. Howard said that she had the brains to stop. Robin said she also took up boating. She said you have to find someplace to take the boat. Howard said that's a whole other thing. He said he has friends who do that and they just float around. Robin said she used to go to a restaurant that was on the water. She said it took an hour and a half to get there on the boat and in the car it was 15 minutes. She said you were just wasting time.
Bobo said he hung out with Fred back in the day on his motorcycle. Fred said that's like when Howard hung out with Bobo when his daughter was born. Fred said they weren't really hanging out. He said Bobo was stalking him. He said he was out playing somewhere and Bobo stalked him. Howard said this is fascinating but he has to go.
Bobo said that in defense of Ronnie he's starting an Unfollow Apples movement. Howard hung up on him.
Howard said Bobo did okay today with the Bruce thing. He said that was an interesting thought. He said then it got weird when he said he hung out with Fred. He said they hung out the same way Mark David Chapman and John Lennon hung out. Howard played a Bobo song parody from James Cargill.
Howard said he got feedback about Ronnie's list of hot women on TV. He said he asked for 5 but got 10. He read that Shannon Spake thanked Ronnie for picking her. Howard had some people who wrote in about other women that should have been on that list.
Howard said that Ronnie and Apples got into a battle on the show and people were writing in about that. He had some feedback about how Ronnie sounded like a lunatic yesterday going crazy over Apples' comments about the Lucky Charms cereal that they had in their house. Howard said that Ronnie got upset about the whole thing for no good reason. He said things got so heated in there that he didn't get to say that he thinks Ronnie blew his stack because he thinks Stephanie positioned the Lucky Charms there in the background so everyone knows she eats them too. He said that's what he thinks. Robin said she thinks it was a total coincidence. She said she doesn't think a lot of thought went into it. Robin said there were Trix and other things in their kitchen. Howard said he thinks Stephanie did it on purpose.
Howard asked Ronnie what he thinks. He said he thinks Ronnie was upset because she knew they were there. Ronnie said Howard is wrong. He said she didn't even know about the Lucky Charms thing. He said she didn't know that Beth eats it. Howard said the fans write in so she probably knew. He said then Ronnie got pissed about it. Robin asked why he'd get pissed at Apples if he was pissed at Stephanie. Howard said he already yelled at her. Ronnie said he didn't yell at her. He said they talked about it. Howard asked why he was mad at her. Ronnie said this guy was making a whole thing out of it. He said he's still doing it because he wanted attention.
Ronnie said he knew there would be repercussions over the post. He said it happened when that asshole called in and said that she eats them because Beth eats them. Howard said he likes that she looks up to Beth as a role model. Ronnie said she's been eating them long before they knew Beth ate them. Howard said there's nothing wrong with eating them just because Beth eats them. Ronnie said okay. He said he has to get out of this fucking house. Howard told him to open a window in that basement. Ronnie said he's not in the basement. He said things are so fucked up outside that he doesn't want to leave the house. He said he has to go out today and it's a whole big deal in his head. He said he has to get his second shot today and has to go into the city. He said he doesn't want to go near that place. He said it's a whole project. Howard said it's too bad they can't do it near his house. Ronnie said you have to get it from where you got the first shot. He said they have this whole thing. Howard asked if he wears two masks. Ronnie said no but he does wear an N95 mask. He said Stephanie wears one every day. Howard said he should put that next to the Lucky Charms box.
Howard asked if he's bringing gloves and hand sanitizer. Ronnie said they are. He said they're both going and it's such a project. Howard said Stephanie has to bring a baby bag with her. He said Beth was very honored that Stephanie had the picture of the Lucky Charms. Ronnie said yeah, great. Ronnie Puppet had a few things to say about that. He was saying that Stephanie is coming out with a cat t-shirt and she's not copying anyone.
Howard said they had some feedback about the Gary vs. Jason fight. He read through some of that and said most of the fans were with Gary in that discussion about Springsteen. Howard had some comments about Jason too. There were a lot of negative comments about what he was saying yesterday. He said there were some people who were backing him though. Howard said there's a song parody too. He played a Baba Booey song parody that was to the tune of a Springsteen song. Howard said that was from Tooth Springsteen.
Howard said he got some feedback about Queen Latifah and The Equalizer. He said that many fans agreed with him about what he said about her not fitting the part. Howard read some of those comments. Howard said he went back and watched the season opener again and he just can't believe that there's this scene where she's after these bad guys and she's able to beat people up. He said that he thinks she's a big talent but she's not the right person for that role. He said the Equalizer is a masterful fighter. He said there's a scene where these really bad guys can't be caught even by the FBI and they kidnap a young girl and are about to kill her. He said that Queen Latifah walks in and 2 seconds later they don't even show you the fight but she has 2 guns and she's disabled all of these bad guys. He said there were like 10 guys. He said he's not sure what happened. He said it was kind if like when Chris Farley was in that Ninja movie. He said it's funny. He said Queen Latifah doesn't even break a sweat.
Howard said Queen Latifah has a guy she works with who is a computer nerd. He said she says she needs information quick and has him hack into the police department. He said he looks at her like she's insane. He said then he says it's almost impossible and she gives him a look and 2 seconds later he's in. Robin said every TV show does that now. Howard said that they hack in and they have the information they're looking for.
Howard said in another scene this guy says he's going to kill Queen Latifah and has a gun in her face. He said if he was going to kill someone he'd just kill them and not announce it. Robin said they get close to you too. She said you don't shoot but they keep walking toward them. Howard said Queen Latifah did some quick Karate and then she's bending the guy's arm. He said she grabs the guy's arm and points it at the other guys and kills them all. He said then she beats the guy up and takes the gun away.
Howard said this poor girl was doused in gasoline and Queen Latifah has disabled 10 guys and takes the gun away. Howard said the guy is trying to kill her but she's controlling his arm and he kills his guys. He said there's not a hair out of place on Queen Latifah. He said then the girl who is tied up is there and Queen Latifah says that they have to get her into something a little less flammable.
Howard asked if Ronnie watches the show. Ronnie said he did watch the first episode. He said at the end of it he said it was okay but not for him. He said that Stephanie asked if a woman can't be a super hero like a man. Howard said he hears what she's saying but he watches a lot of these movies where the woman is the one who beats up the guys but the women are somewhat athletic. He said his problem is that Queen Latifah can't lift a leg. He said he needs a little bit of movement. He said it has to look a little bit credible. He said that's like making the 1000 pound sisters as NASCAR drivers. He said he'd probably watch that though.
Robin said she has seen older men out of shape doing the same thing. Howard said that's true but that's bad casting. Robin said you watch The Expendable's and the 1500th Rambo. She said there's no way that he's beating up these younger people. Howard said he's not abandoning Queen Latifah. He said he's going to watch the show and torture himself. He said he's sticking with it. Robin said Arnold Schwarzenegger can barely walk now but he plays one of those guys who can take care of these criminals.
Howard said Queen Latifah has funny comebacks for everything. He said there's a scene where they ask her who the hell she is and she says ''Neighborhood watch.'' Robin said that's like Die Hard and Bruce Willis always having a line to say. Howard said he's going to watch it either way.
Howard said he has to take a break and get the guys on to clear out the computer. He said it's old stuff they have to clear out. He said they have a lot of stuff. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said that Beth doesn't get annoyed with him too much but she did the other night. He said he was impatient waiting for her to do her thing with the cats and he started to sing to himself. He said he only knew one line and he kept singing the same thing over and over. He said she got annoyed with that. He said he's not sure what the song was but that's how he sings. Howard sang the Tom Petty song over and over to demonstrate how that goes.
Howard said it's no picnic being married to him. He said that she's so polite that she asked if he knows any of the other words to the song. He said he really didn't. He said he was annoying to her. He said she agreed that he was annoying. He said he can't annoy her because she's all he's got. Howard said it's like his father singing ''Shame on you'' over and over.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the vaccine thing. He said he's young and just had COVID. He said it really wasn't bad for him. He said he's not sure why they're coercing people to get this vaccine to win back our basic freedoms. He asked if he thinks that's crazy. Howard said no. He said you're crazy for thinking that it's nothing. He said this guy is lucky. He said he knows a 42 year old who is in the hospital on a ventilator and he had no preexisting conditions. He said this guy is lucky he got over COVID and didn't have a severe reaction to it. He said we know that you can get it over and over and that the vaccine is going to help. He said he's so bored with this. He said if there are continuing mutations of the virus you can pass it along to people and other people may have a worse reaction to it. He said you don't even know what COVID is doing to your system. He said the vaccine is a godsend. He said that we can have immunity up to 95 percent if we get the vaccine.
Howard asked the caller why he'll eat a bag of Cheetos and not ask what's in it. He asked if he ever does drugs. The caller, Curtis, said oh yeah. Howard said you don't ask what's in it. He said you just smoke it. He said just take the fucking vaccine and deal with it. He said he'd be more confident taking that than smoking pot from some stranger.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he just got thrown off by that guy. Howard said don't talk about that. He said he's done with that. Ralph said he was calling in to talk about Ronnie's list and how awful that was yesterday. He said there's no hot chicks on TV now. He said that the Queen Latifah thing is ridiculous too. He said there's just fat chicks playing those parts now. Howard hung up on him.
Howard said he talks to Ralph off the air and he's going nuts. He said he's been locked up too long. Robin said most people need to be with other people. Howard said Robin is one of those people who can be alone. He said he has to have Beth with him. He said he has to call and check in on Robin. He said he has to find out how she's doing but he won't tell her that.
Howard said that he's expecting to hear this. He played a clip of Underdog Lady freaking out about giving Chris Wiling a number. She was screaming and making weird noises. He said he calls Robin and she's doing just fine all alone. He said she likes being alone. Robin said she chose to be this way. She said she has always been this way.
Robin said she can't think about shows like Howard does. She said she will only be there a little while so she can't go through what Howard goes through.
Howard took a call from a woman who called herself Barbie. Howard said he knew a girl whose real name was Barbie. He said she was good looking so it would have been weird going through life with that name and not look good. Howard said she was short and didn't look like Barbie but she was cute. The caller said maybe she was a Barbara. Howard said he thinks she was. He said she was totally out of his league too. He said that she was one of those girls he hopes knows he's on the radio. He said she was like 4'11'' but he would have gone to bed with her.
Barbie said she works in a diner as a server. She said she's forced to work there because it's her job. She said people come in and crowd the place. She said that it's constantly busy. She said they have to take people's numbers down and send them to their car and call them when it's safe to come in. She said that it's how she makes a living but please stay home. Howard said it is amazing that restaurants are open like that. He said he loves a diner though. He asked how the fuck they do it. He said the menu is so diverse. He said they must throw out a lot of stuff. He said he can get so many things and he wonders how they do it. He said they have veal Parmesan on the menu and thanksgiving turkey and things like that. He asked how they have all of that food around. Barbie said she's not sure how they do it but they have it all readily available. Howard said he's not sure how they do it. Robin said the food doesn't cost that much either. Howard said they even have lobster on the menu.
Howard said at the end of the day they must have to get rid of some of that food. He said he's not sure how they do it. Barbie said they have a constant flow of food. Howard said he wants to know how they make a profit. He said one diner had Oysters Rockefeller on the menu. He said he's not sure how they figure out what they need. He said they have to have enough for at least 2 people to order it. Robin said she has never heard them run out of anything. Howard asked how it works. Barbie said she can't say on the oyster thing but someone ordered something the other day and they were just able to make it. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go. He said she's not giving him any answers.
Howard asked how you work there for 20 years and not know how things work. He said he would walk around Sirius once in a while asking how they do things there. He said you want to know. He said this woman worked there for 20 years and she has no idea. He said he's not sure how she doesn't ask. He said you have to figure out how they do it.
Howard said it's crazy that no one can answer those questions. He said a lot of the owners of these places can't even speak English. He said they have to learn it somewhere else. Robin said the prices are even less there. She said that it's cheaper than in the supermarket. Howard said he used to have to take the kids to the diner when he got divorced. He said he'd go out and take the kids there and ask if he could pay with a credit card and they'd blurt something out that wasn't in English.
Robin said at a diner they have a book of a menu but at fancy places they have one page. Howard said the menu is so varied too. He said no one has ever been able to tell him what the process there is. Robin said every diner has a Greek salad too. Howard said they have to stop putting olives in salad. He said it just ruins the salad. He said he hates olives. He said it doesn't add anything. He said it overpowers everything.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a front line health care worker and he wanted to give an update on the COVID situation. He said just because you're vaccinated you can't let your guard down. He said last week he had a 61 year old who was dropped off at the hospital. He said he was in cardiac arrest by the time they got him to the back. He said he ended up passing away. He said that people think this isn't that bad but it really is that bad. He said the vaccine is necessary. He said he doesn't see us getting rid of masks for 2-3 years even with the vaccine. He said that he wants to thank Howard and the guys for helping him get through this. He said he's been listening to the show since he was 15 and he's 50 now.
Howard asked Ronnie if he hates Apples more or less than King. Ronnie said he loves King compared to this guy. He said he knows he had an agenda and he doesn't want to give him the air time. He said he's not going to answer his questions. He said Howard can have all the fun he wants with him. Apples asked Ronnie to talk to him about what he ever did to him. Howard said he's not sure if he ever fought before. Apples said he doesn't think he has. He said it never got this bad.
Gary said that Apples called the Wrap Up Show yesterday to talk about this and he has no idea why Ronnie is so upset with him. Howard said he thinks it has to do with Ronnie hating that people think he's trying to be like him. He said that he was just set off by that whole Lucky Charms thing. Apples said that Howard made the joke with Ronnie today but as soon as he says something he lost his mind. He said it might be personal with him but he's not sure what it is. He said if there is something there he'd like to know what it is.
Ronnie asked Howard why he's wasting his time with this guy. He said there was no reason to even call in about this yesterday. He said it's just fucking stupid.
Howard said all Apples did was ask about the Lucky Charms in the background and who was eating them. Ronnie said he had a whole motive behind the whole thing. He said this is all he wanted. He said he just wants air time. He said that's all this is about. Howard said he doesn't think that he had an agenda. He said he thinks he just fell into this.
Howard asked Apples if he would take a lie detector test to find out if he's lying about this. Apples said he would do it. Ronnie said of course he would because that means more air time. Howard said he wouldn't have any air time if Ronnie hadn't freaked out about it. He said Ronnie is the one who is giving him the air time. Ronnie said Howard is the one who likes to dig into things. He said you know that he called in for this reason. Howard asked why he didn't just ignore it. Ronnie said he should have. He said he tried to ignore it today but they keep calling him back.
Ronnie asked what his real name is. Apples said it's David. He said that his last name is Appleton. Ronnie said okay then. He said that's great. He said use your real fucking name asshole. Howard asked if he'll eat apples or has he ruined the name for him. Ronnie said he eats them every day. Apples asked if he represents the whole internet to him. Ronnie said he's just an asshole and everyone knows it. He said everyone is calling him Rotten Apples. Apples said he hasn't seen that. Ronnie said he's so full of shit.
Apples said he thought there was someone real in there but he's using him in the wrong way. Howard said he'd like to give him some advice. He said that he knows he was on Twitter yesterday arguing with his supporters. Ronnie said he was not. He said he won't even acknowledge him. He said Apples was the one putting shit up all day. He said he figured he hit a home run and riled him up. He said he got on the Wrap Up Show and he was on Twitter talking about all of that. He said he was posting shit all over.
Howard asked Jason to read to him what they were saying. Jason said that Apples tweeted a picture of Flat Ronnie and Ronnie wrote ''Who cares dude.'' Ronnie said that was it. He said he didn't interact with him after that. Jason said there was another one where someone responded to that and he told him to stay out of it. Ronnie said he didn't do that. Jason said he was involved. Jason said he was talking to Apples through the other person. Ronnie said he wasn't interacting with him. Howard said he did interact though. Ronnie said who cares.
Jason went through the conversation that was going on and read Ronnie's response. Howard said Ronnie is in so deep into Twitter. He said he's telling him he's busy and things are overwhelming but he's busy with Apples on Twitter. He said he's addicted. He said he has to stop engaging. Ronnie said people love that he answers their shit. He said they're always happy that he does that.
Apples tried asking a question and Ronnie said his voice is so annoying. Apples said that he could have picked on other things. Ronnie said he's done with this guy so hang up on him. Ronnie turned off his microphone. Howard said he was in the middle of talking to him and he turns it off so they can't see him anymore. Apples was laughing. He said he loves being part of the show. Ronnie got back on and said he's not part of the show. He said he's just an idiot who calls the show. Apples said he'd love to be the new Limo Drier after he leaves. Ronnie said Howard would never go for that.
Howard said in the last 24 hours Ronnie has tweeted or retweeted 24 times. He said that's one an hour average. Howard said this should be the happiest time in his life. He said what bothers him is that he gets involved with these listeners who anger him. Ronnie said it was just one idiot who calls into the show. He said most of the time it's just fun stuff.
Howard said he's moving to Vegas and having his dream come true so what's really going on here. He said he's angrier than ever. Ronnie said he's just a douche bag dude. He said he got his wish and what he wanted. Howard said when he finishes the show he doesn't fight with the callers. Ronnie said he doesn't either. Howard said he was on Twitter doing that yesterday. Ronnie said he likes to do what he does. He said no one tells him what to do.
Howard said that his blood pressure is going up from Twitter. Ronnie yelled that he's not and he's as calm as can be. Howard and Robin got a laugh out of that. Ronnie told Apples to go fuck himself. He told him not to forget to call the Wrap Up Show. Howard said whatever he's doing isn't working for him. Ronnie said he's doing just fine.
Apples asked Howard what he would do if he asked him if he asked about posting the Instagram videos and if Beth gets upset about not being able to scratch the moosh. Howard said he wouldn't care. He said she does get upset.
Ronnie said this guy is obsessed with Howard. He said he'd watch him take a shit in his bathroom if he could. Howard let Apples go and told Ronnie to go settle down. He said he has to get off Twitter today. Ronnie yelled ''No!''
Howard said he has to calm things down and get to the guys. He said he has been talking about doing that since the start of the show. He said no matter what he'll get to the computer. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and talked about Adele and how she lost a ton of weight. Howard said Rebel Wilson lost a bunch too. He said they make a big deal out of that on Daily Mail. He said we're consumed with weight in this country. Robin said it's just Howard, not we.
Howard said he has to take this call from a Diner owner. He said he has some answers for them. Howard took the call and asked George about how they do things at this diner. He said what he wants to know how you have a menu with so many things on it like pork chops and Fettuccine Alfredo. He said you can't just have noodles sitting around. He said they have to be able to get it out in 10 minutes.
George told Howard that it's based on volume. He said in New Jersey they do a ton of business and they have a ton of people who want lobster at 10 in the morning. He said his place is like a pizza place but they have a huge menu too. He said he asks his dad to take stuff off the menu but he keeps adding stuff. Howard asked if they throw out a lot every day. George said that you place orders every day and there are some diners that have stuff sitting forever. He said it has to be a reputable place. Howard said he gets it. He said it's a whole thing to get answers.
Howard said he was thinking of sending Robin under cover as a waitress. Robin said that's not going to work.
Howard said he has Jon Hein, JD and Chris Wilding up first to get to some stuff to clear out of the computer. Howard asked Jon what he has. Jon said he has sports with no crowds. He said sports are back but fans aren't allowed to attend games. He said it's so much easier to hear what the players are saying on the field and most if it is ''fuck.'' He said he has some examples. He had a baseball player hitting a ground out and he says ''fuck!'' Howard said he's glad that the kids were never able to hear what Lenny Dykstra was saying at the games. Jon said they play fake crowd sounds there at the stadiums too. He said it's really strange.
Howard said that he didn't know that Jon was a gambler. He said that shocks him. Jon said he does enjoy gambling. He said he'd be in trouble if they had legal sports gambling there in his state. He said JD would text him and ask who he should bet on so he was helping him with that. JD said he was making bets and watching Jon's show before to get ideas to bet. Howard said JD gambling doesn't make sense to him. He said he should be putting that money in the bank. He said he limits himself on what he spends.
Howard said JD just spent $180 on a box of baseball cards. He said he could have saved that money for the long term. He said you keep putting money in and you save it up. He said you save it up for year after year and you'll be able to retire some day. JD said he understands that. Howard said he spent $700 on baseball cards this year alone. JD said it's not just baseball. He said there are some nice cards in there. He said they could be investments. Howard said he could be investing in Apple. JD said he's not looking to get into the stock market. He said that's too risky. Howard said baseball cards are okay but not the stock market. JD said he doesn't understand the stock market.
Howard said Jon was once knocked out of a card game in Vegas after being accused of counting cards. Jon said he was in Vegas for a week and he brought $2500 with him to spend over 3 days. He said he lost 2499 of that in the first day. He said his buddies would loan him money and he was taking money out of the game when he wanted to. He said that one of the card dealers said he was counting cards so they had him kicked out. Jon said he got really upset and the pit boss asked him to leave. He said that he walked out telling everyone that the Tropicana was the worst casino in Las Vegas. He said he wasn't counting cards.
Howard said Jon claims he has a valuable baseball card collector that's worth thousands but JD disagrees. JD said he has some nice cards but they're in bad shape. Jon said he recently moved and he found the boxes of cards he had from the 1970s. He said he sent him one Reds player and JD told him the edge was bent on it. He said that he wasn't collecting them for investments. He said JD told him they weren't worth anything.
Howard said that JD has to stop with the card buying. JD said he will get a financial adviser some day and figure things out. JD said he had a problem with these baseball breaks that he was doing and he stopped that. He said that he's backed off of one a day. Howard said he's not sure what he's up to. JD explained to him how the baseball card thing works and Jon helped with that explanation. Howard said that this whole thing is absurd. He said the baseball card guys have to be setting the limits so they are setting the prices. JD had an explanation for that and said there's a documentary about the baseball card business and they explain all of that in there. He said that's mostly what he's watching now on TV. Jon said JD is so obsessed that he texted him about his card break and asked if he wants to watch him open it. He said he did. He said that JD got one valuable thing in there. He said he has a card that has a small piece of a uniform on it that could be worth something some day. JD said he has other things that could be worth something some day.
Howard said chances are they're not going to be worth anything. He asked JD if he stares at them. JD said he has things that could be worth something some day. He said he thought about hanging some up as a design or something. Howard said his basic theory is that one card is going to be worth something. JD said he's not planning on anything. He said this is just interesting to him. Howard said this investment strategy is childish. He said he's not trying to be funny.
Howard sake if Jon likes to put his in alphabetical order. Jon said they're in numerical order. He said when he was 11 or 12 years old he got some rookie cards that are with 10s of thousands of dollars. He said that he didn't give a shit about that back then so he didn't keep them nice. Howard said JD is taking his paycheck and treating it like a 9 year old treats an allowance. JD said he is but he's not doing it with all of his money.
Howard said he can't believe that JD is that into baseball cards. Jon said he is into it just as much as JD. He said he loves it. Howard said he tires to avoid anything to do with his childhood. Jon said he doesn't have a problem with JD putting some money into it but thinking of it as an investment is odd to him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this is a real thing and he's doing the card break thing and he has a bunch of people who watch. He said there's real money in it. He said he sold a card for $35,000 recently. Howard asked why they don't just print up more of those cards. He said this is a manufactured market. He said he doesn't understand what they're talking about. He told JD to take his money and invest. He said put it in a mutual fund or something. Robin said anything would be better than this. She said she's not giving him her number though.
Howard said they have to get back to Jon Hein. He said that he didn't think he was a gambler. Jon said he cut back a lot and he's not gambling that much anymore. He said he has no problem losing 200 bucks occasionally though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a card break channel and he is working toward that becoming his full time job because there's that much money in it. The caller said he'd love to have JD involved in it. Robin said JD is the sucker in that whole thing. Howard said stop calling in with your baseball card success stories because JD will fall for that.
Howard asked the caller if he ever pulls a good card. The caller said last week he pulled a good one. He said it was worth about 3 grand. Howard said somehow JD never pulls that card. JD said he has some good ones.
Howard said that he has to get back to tape of what's happening on the fields. Jon said he has another clip from a baseball game and this guy yells at himself for what he did. Howard played the clip and you hear the guy yelling at himself that he sucks. Jon said he'd rather hear that than the commenting.
Jon said this guy yelled ''fuck'' when he hit a ground ball. He screamed it out in the clip. The announcer explained why they were able to hear it so well. Jon said he did it again 2 months later. Howard played that clip too.
Howard said he has Jamie Spears on the phone to help JD out with his finances. Howard took the call from fake Jamie who said he can help JD out no problem. He said he can get him into real estate and different kinds of cars and things like that. He said he just needs his Social Security number right now. Howard said that's good news for JD.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that they can't compare him to JD. He said that he's buying a box of shit hoping to find a diamond in it. He said that he researches stuff himself. He said if he took that $700 and put it in the stock market he'd probably have 7000 now. JD said maybe he should talk to him. Howard said he's actually pretty good. Howard said Ralph calls him and tells him about the stock market and he's doing well. Chris said he talks to him about it and he's doing well thanks to him.
Howard got back to Jon Hein and he had more clips from the games. He said you can hear managers and umpires on the field. He had some examples of that. He had one manager going off on an umpire telling him that he was horse shit.
Jon had another clip of a manager being thrown out of a game for cursing. The umpire told him to get the fuck out of here.
Howard asked if he has anymore. Jon said he has some football clips. He said the channel Nickelodeon had a football game on and you can hear a player cursing during the game. He played the clip and the player could be heard cursing. Howard said you get a little fuck and a little bit of this and that.
Jon said golf cursing is more low key. He had some clips to play. He had one of a player complimenting a hit with a curse. He said ''Pretty fucking good there.'' Jon said that was Drew Nance doing the play by play there. Howard did an impression of him.
Howard asked that Brooks Koepka is the guy he would like to look like. JD said that's the guy. He said he's the total package in the looks department.
Howard said he would want to look like Brad Pitt but JD wants to look like this Bruce guy. Howard asked what he would do if he could look like him but he had micro phallus. JD said he'd probably just be himself. Howard said he's making a good choice. He said he doesn't think he looks good but if he had a smaller penis he'd be even more upset. JD said he has seen the way women react to small penis and it's not good.
Jon had more clips of guys cursing on the golf course. He had Howard play a clip where the guy said ''Dude, you've got to be fucking kidding me.''
Howard asked JD how that guy Justin Thomas looks. JD said he's about the same looking as him. Howard asked if he'd take that look if he had a giant cock. JD said he would. He said he's not that bad looking.
Howard asked what else Jon has. Jon said that he may want to rethink that Justin Thomas thing. He said the microphones caught him saying a homophobic slur. Howard played the clip and he muttered ''faggot'' in that one. Howard asked why he would say that. Chris said that's weird. Howard said he really had to crank that thing up to hear it. Jon said people heard it and Justin had to give an apology on the Golf Channel. He had some audio from that. In the clip Justin gave an apology that was pretty lame. He said that's not the kind of person he is but he has to own up to it. He didn't seem to know what to say when asked what he was going to learn from it. Howard did his impression of Sal doing his apology after hearing that guy. Howard said that was just like Sal. Fred played some of the Sal apology clip. Chris said if you're saying that and not even realizing it then you must be saying it a lot.
Fred played more of the Sal apology where he rambles making this apology for what he said about Miss Howard Stern and her pregnancy. Howard said that was so great. Robin said the finest actor could not repeat what Sal said. She said it was so nonsensical. Jon said that to him is the all time greatest thing he has ever heard on the radio. Howard said the best thing is that they lied to him and made him do that and that's what he came up with. Robin said the best part was that the baby shows up in the apology. Robin said it was funny that the baby comes up in it for no apparent reason.
Howard said that wasn't even the first one. He said they had him come up with more. He said he threw in a lot of ''sincere'' comments in that.
Jon had more clips to play. He said that some golfers were caught on microphone farting. He had some audio of one guy letting a big one rip. Howard said he has to hear that one again. He replayed the clip. Howard said that was pretty healthy. Jon said this guy Ian Poulter used to complain about people yelling out ''Baba Booey'' at golf tournaments.
Jon said he has another one where a noise came out of nowhere and the guy stopped his swing. Howard played that one and that one was violent. Howard said he doesn't golf but he'd blame it on the caddy. He had to hear that one again so he replayed it a couple of times. Howard did his impression of the announcer calling that one. Fred played some fart sounds while Howard was doing that impression. He had the announcer saying at least no one disparaged gay people in that one. Howard was going on and on with the impression calling the farts. Howard replayed the clip again after that. He laughed when he heard that fart rip. Howard went back into his impression of the announcer and called the fart sounds.
Howard said he's surprised he never got to that package. He said that was good. Jon said if that's how sports were all the time maybe Howard would be a sports fan. Howard said absolutely.
Howard and Chris did their sports announcer impressions together. They were going back and forth talking about Brooks Koepka and doing the fart thing.
Howard asked JD what he has. JD said he has reporters dealing with the elements. He said the first one is a newscaster doing a report from home and they're in Mobile, Alabama. Howard goofed on him for mispronouncing it. Howard said that he has a package that he's been sitting on and it's more TV flubs because they're doing it from home. JD said they have to deal with things around them that cause them to not be heard or they fuck up. JD said this one is a news anchor whose dog kept barking during the broadcast. Howard played the clip and the news anchor was trying to do her thing and the dog kept barking so loud she couldn't be heard. Howard said they say the dog's name like it can understand. He said the dog just keeps barking louder.
JD said this next one is another dog barking clip. He played the clip and a person was being interviewed and the dog starts barking and won't stop. Howard said meanwhile what the dog was saying was ''Baba Booey.''
JD had a clip of Governor Gavin Newsome trying to do a broadcast and a Black Lives Matter protestor was yelling over a megaphone. Howard played that clip and they were trying to do this broadcast but the guy kept talking and playing a siren over the megaphone.
Howard said you know they want to yell at the guy to shut the fuck up but they can't.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he agrees with Howard about JD wasting his money on baseball cards. He said he tried doing it a few years ago but they say the cars are worth so much but they're really not. He said the boxes they're breaking are stuck in a warehouse and people have tons of the same cards. Howard asked if JD hears this. JD said he hasn't spent thousands of dollars yet. Robin said it's early in the year so far. JD said he knows.
JD got back to his clips and had one where this reporter was talking about COVID in this neighborhood so the unhappy residents there started honking their horns as soon as they went live with the report. The reporter kept going with the report even with the horns going. Howard said he loves that battle. He said no one was giving up.
Howard asked what else he has. JD said this is similar and a reporter was in Times Square and people were revving their engines as they drove by. Howard played that clip and the reporter couldn't be heard over the engines revving. Another reporter said she's not sure what was going on there but they can't hear her.
JD said he has a CNN reporter trying to cover a Trump rally. He said Ted Nugent was on stage playing guitar during this report. Howard played the clip and the reporter was trying to do his report but Nugent was blasting away on guitar. The guy couldn't be heard. Howard said Ted can still wail. He said he can still play. He said he hasn't lost it. He said a lot of guys don't have it. He said he didn't know Ted was still playing. He thought he was just hunting.
JD said next he has a clip of Jim Acosta being drowned out by the music what was playing at a Trump event. Howard played that clip and Jim was doing his report and being blasted out by the music playing behind him. It was the song ''Gloria'' that was drowning him out.
Howard said two minutes went by before they broke into that. Robin said they may have been trying to figure out what the song was. Howard did his impression of that announcer trying to talk over all kinds of noises.
Howard said they're running out of time but he has Chris to get to. Chris said he has something that JD would like. He said he went to a Magic The Gathering convention pre-pandemic. Howard said he heard this and never got to it on the air. He said this was over a year ago. Chris said it may have been like 2 years ago. Chris said they have a huge following with this game and they compete in tournaments. He said the grand prize was $10,000. He said they have all kinds of trading cards and they battle with them.
Chris said that they have this long story line with the game and he asked people what the story is and no one had a clue what it was. He had a montage of people trying to explain what the story is. No one had a straight answer. They all struggled coming up with something to say.
Howard said that the game Magic is cards you buy. Chris said yes. Howard said you go to the convention and they make up stories. He asked how you win. Chris said they have battles and the cards have all of these numbers on them and they figure out who wins with the numbers on the cards. He said some of them are worth thousands of dollars. He said a lot of these guys looked like JD. JD said a lot of them looked like Chris too.
Howard said it sounds like poker for super nerds. Chris said he found one guy who gave him one story line that didn't make things any clearer for him. Howard played the clip and the guy was going on and on about this story. Chris asked him what his living situation is. The guy said he lives with his parents. Howard asked if this guy ever got laid. Chris said he doesn't know but most of these people looked like they hadn't left their homes before. He said this was all pre-pandemic too.
Howard said he lost his way in that explanation 3 words in. Howard played the clip again and cut it off when he was out of the explanation.
Chris said he interviewed this Asian player and asked a few questions. Howard played the clip and the guy was very hard to understand with his accent.
Howard asked JD why he's laughing because he sounds like the Asian JD. Howard asked if JD was there with Chris. Chris said that JD went to one before that one and they didn't get much there.
Chris said the games are really intense. He said it's like a military thing. He said that they take it very seriously. He had some audio of a couple of guys getting really into it.
Howard asked if they lose do they have to give their card to the other guy. Chris said sometimes they do. He said they have to take out insurance on their cards because they're worth so much.
Chris said he asked one guy about his favorite card and this guy looked like a football player. Howard played a clip of the guy talking about his favorite card and going on and on about it. He had a funny accent so Howard told JD he should take this up because he'd fight right in. JD said he felt fine being there when he went to the other one. Howard played more of the guy going on and on about his favorite card.
Howard said JD would be the smooth talker there if he went. JD said he'll sell all of his cards and get some Magic cards. Chris said it is a game of skill unlike the baseball card thing. Howard said they have to know the rules though. Chris said it's all very convoluted. Howard said JD could be the cool guy there. He said he thinks he's found his crowd.
Chris said this one guy was walking around with hundreds of cards and he asked for his favorite character and favorite quotes. Howard played the clip and the guy gave his favorite quote. Howard said that guy was actually smoother than JD is.
Chris said he asked that guy to sing a song. He had a clip of that for Howard to play. The guy sang a song about forbidden love. Howard laughed at that one. He said this song must dry out women like a dehumidifier. Chris said they had to cut this one down and people were stopping in the convention center to see it. Chris even tried to stop the guy from singing but he kept going.
Howard asked if he has more. Chris said yes. He said they found a guy with a girlfriend and he asked him if he would chose his girl or the cards if he had to choose. Howard played the clip and the guy said that his girlfriend doesn't mind that he spends all of his money on it. He said he'd pick his cards over her because they've only been together for 3 years.
Chris said that his favorite person he met was this woman named Jacklyn. He said he's not sure if she was trans or what but her laugh stood out. Howard played the clip and Jacklyn had an unusual laugh that she did when she said that they call these cards ''cardboard crack.'' The guys were doing impressions of the laugh.
Howard said at least a woman was there. Chris said he asked her for some jokes and she had some. Howard played the clip of Jacklyn telling jokes and laughing at herself with that unusual laugh. She had some phlegm that she had to clear out. Howard said this is like Revenge of the Nerds.
Howard said what a scene this is. He said he still doesn't understand the game. Chris said neither does he. He said there's some Dungeons and Dragons going on there.
Chris said that Jacklyn looked like she was wearing something from the 70s. He said he asked her about it and then she calls a judge over to judge her game. Howard played the clip and she was explaining what she was wearing and then she has a match so she called the judge over in a very weird voice.
Howard said this woman claims she plays Magic The Gathering and has 30,000 cards. Howard took the call and Tess said between her husband and herself they have that many. She said they've been collecting since 1994 or so. She said they have gotten all of those over that time. Howard asked if you lose cards when you play. She said you can but you don't have to. She said it's a betting thing. Robin asked what Tess does with them. Tess said they collect them and they have copies of some and they sell them on eBay. Howard asked what the fuck is going on in America. He said he thought everyone was hurting. Tess said they've had them since 1994 so they play recreationally with friends.
Howard asked if Tess is hot. She said she's 5'9'' and blonde. She said she's in her 40s and she's not sure. She said she has sex like 9 times a day. She said on average it's 4-6 times.
Howard asked if her husband ejaculates that many times a day. She said he does. She said that she gives her guy plenty of head. Howard said he wants to understand her schedule. Robin asked if she has a job. Tess said she's her husband's care giver. She said she's home all day.
Howard asked what she weighs. Tess said she's a chunky chick at 160 or so. Howard asked how big her boobs are. She said she's like a B cup. Howard said she must have a loose belly and ass. She said she's actually pretty toned. She said that she's a dog walker and trainer. Howard said he's not sure it's a good sign when someone estimates their weight in 20 pound increments. Tess said she's a laid back chick and her husband doesn't stress about it.
Robin said Tess said that she's her husband's care giver. Tess said he's disabled after being in the Air Force. She said he has really bad memory loss after being blown up in a training exercise. The husband got on and said that he's been listening to Howard every day since he got discharged.
Howard asked the guy if he thinks this memory loss leads to this libido. The guy said that his wife wasn't sexual at all until she met him. He said they were just friends when they met. He said when it happened she didn't know that sex could be like that. He said since 2006 when they met until now they have sex all the time. He said they will run into the bathroom and have sex when the kids aren't around.
Howard said he knows how he feels about people who served. Tess' husband he means everything to him. Howard said fucking that much every day is impressive. Tess' husband said that the doctors are impressed too. He said they were involved in a study because of it. He said that they wanted to ask Howard about it.
Howard said even Ronnie can't do that. He said this is amazing. Howard asked Tess' husband about what Tess does to wake him up. Tess' husband went through how they fuck and when they do it. It happens at all times of the day and night.
Howard said she must be a really sexy woman. Tess' husband said that they really have something special there. Howard asked who she looks like that's famous. Tess' husband said he's not sure. He said she'd know. Chris asked if it's Kathy Bates. Howard asked if Tess looks like Sharon Stone. Tess said more like that girl in Labyrinth. They were talking about Jennifer Connelly. Howard said really? Tess' husband said he looks like Trent Reznor or Dave Navarro. Howard said no wonder they're so sexed up.
Howard said Tess' husband is a hero to him. He said that he's glad that she's fucking him every day. Howard said every guy should be fucking like that. He said that it's good that it's happening over there. He said he's not sure how they have time to play that Magic game.
Howard asked if anal is on the table. Tess said he doesn't like it. She said she'd be open to it. Robin asked if she's putting anything into his butt. Tess said she's not. Howard asked if the kids have ever caught them having sex. Tess said the oldest has nearly run into the room but they haven't been caught.
Howard asked if his penis is big. Tess said it's like 8 or 9. Howard said he'd be measuring that every hour if he was that big. Howard asked if Tess is loud during sex. Tess said she has to try not to. She said they do have kids in the house. Howard asked what kind of noises does she make. Tess said she's not like one of those porn girls. She said that she does whatever happens. Howard said put the phone down and have sex now so he can hear. Tess said she would but her son is in the living room.
Tess said her husband can go 15-20 minutes with her. She said that they have sex for a long time when they do it.
Tess' husband was talking about The Bloodhound Gang and how he had his own song out back in the day and that's how he met up with Tess. Howard said that's like the JD story.
Howard said that was a fascinating story and thanked Tess and her husband for sharing with them. Tess' husband thanked Howard for staying on so long. He said when he switched to Sirius he cried during the farewell show. He said he gets upset when Howard isn't on live. He said he forgets a lot of things so they listen to old shows since he forgets so much. He said Howard is basically his dad. He said he never had parents. He said that he lost his parents and was in an orphanage. He said his wife lived under bridges and stuff. He said Tess has stories she could tell. Howard said he's not sure what they're up to but thank god they're fucking like rabbits. Howard thanked them for the call and let them go.
Howard said he wasn't able to follow some of that at the end. There was some mention of the WWE and some wrestlers and who her mom was. Howard had no idea what they were talking about.
Chris said those are the people you meet at those conventions. Howard said wow. He asked if there's any more. Chris said he never did find out what the story is behind the game. He said he did find out that they spent way too much on cards and no one has a job. He had a montage of people telling him what they spent on their cards over their lifetime.
Howard said there you go. He said it's amazing to him how little he knows about what's going on out there in the world. He said if Robin gets lonely she should go to one of these conventions. Robin said there's not enough loneliness in the world to get her to go to one of those conventions. She said it sounds like a nightmare to her. Howard said that was a lot of fun.
Howard said Chris must have had a great day that day. Chris said he did. He said he'll never forget it. Howard asked if there were any hot guys there. Chris said unfortunately not.
Howard asked JD if this sounds good to him at all. JD said he never got into any of that stuff. He said he was never into Dungeons and Dragons or anything like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has Pokemon cards and some of them sell for $5,000. The caller said his son collected them and he sold one box for $5,500 recently. He said his son has a collection that he's had for years and he's able to sell them. Howard said JD is the only one who collects and can't make any money. Howard said he's had enough of this.
Howard took another call from a guy who does the Magic the Gathering thing. He said he mostly sells cards. He said he's disabled too. Howard said when you get up around his age you won't be fucking six times a day. He said he dated a girl when he was in college and he was able to fuck her 5 times a day. He said he must have been so bad at it because she couldn't wait to break up with him. He said he did everything for her. He said he even put in that diaphragm thing for her. He said they were doing it 6 times a day. He said he would put that ting in there and it would get caught on his penis. He said that they had a very intimate relationship but she broke it off with him. He said he must have been so bad at it. He said he heard she left him for a Pokemon collector.
The caller said that he sells these cards and people come to the store to play the game. He said he plays but he's not very good at it. Howard said there must be some skill in it. He thanked him for the call and let him go.
Howard said they learn about a lot of nonsense. He took a call from Pocket who said his real name is Jake Pocketstein. Howard asked what's up. Pocket said that people have trouble telling stories on the show. He said that waitress wasn't able to tell a story eloquently like Howard and Robin can. Howard said he knows. He said that he used to call radio shows and he'd get nervous. He said that he would get nervous even when he was on radio. He said that he's right about it and he tries to be as tolerant as possible but some people are just so bad at it he has to cut them off. He said he knows the audience wants him to cut them off.
Robin said that she tried to watch Ken Jennings on Jeopardy and it's a train wreck. She said that he has this smile on his face and you can tell he could care less about the contestants and it feels uncomfortable. She said he has no idea what to do when someone tells a story on that show.
Howard said he loved Alex Trebek on that show. He said you have to be brighter on that show and be up on your game. He said Alex was great and he knows there's controversy with the hosts. He said he was curious about Ken. He said he told her from the beginning that he won't be the host. He said it's hard to pluck someone out like that to be the host.
Jon Hein got on and said that they're both nuts. He said that Alex was great but those interactions with the contestants were always awkward. He said give him some time to get acclimated. Howard said how about choosing a host that doesn't need time. He said there are plenty of people out there who could do it. Jon said that they don't want someone famous to take over. Howard said that Alex didn't take over the game and try to make it about himself. He said you need someone like that. He said Alex wasn't great at talking to the contestants but he ran the game very well. He said they found him because he was an announcer and had some expertise. Jon said he understands that but Ken knows the game inside and out. Robin said that's not the same as running the game. Jon said that it took Alex a long time to get to where he got to. Robin said this is Mr. Jump The Shark talking now. Jon said they have to see how he does and give him a chance.
Howard and Jon went back and forth about Trebek and Jennings for a short time. Howard said he hasn't watched it yet. He said maybe Ken will win him over. He said when he does watch it he'll see how it goes. Robin said she wasn't enjoying the game with Ken hosting.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that Ken is unbelievably bad. He said he's odd looking and doesn't look like a host. He asked what ABC is doing and why they threw this guy in there when they knew Alex was dying. Howard said if word got out about them searching for a new host people would have freaked out. Ralph said this has been going on for months. He said he can't watch the show now. He said he can't stand the guy's voice. Howard said they have to find a guy like Alex who had a smooth delivery. Ralph said he does some things like Alex did but he's doing them awfully.
Howard asked what the ratings are like since he started. Jon said they did go down but it's still the most popular syndicated show out there. Ralph asked how much they dropped. Jon said he doesn't have them in front of him. Ralph said go get them. JD said Ralph has time to get them, what's he doing?
Howard said they've heard a lot. He thanked Ralph for that. He said to weigh in on all of that is Jon Hein Audio book. He took that call and the guys played some clips of Jon rambling about Wheel of Fortune. Howard said he has things to do. He has a life. He cut that off.
Howard said the ultimate insult is that the Executive Producer of Jeopardy is taking over for a stint this year. Howard asked what's going on out there. He said here are plenty of professionals out there who can read the questions and move the game along.
Howard said he's going to tune in and check out Ken Jennings. He said he's going to see how good he is. He said he'll talk about him on next week's shows.
Robin asked how long they have to wait for Ken to get it together. Jon said he's not sure but it won't be long. He said Robin should wait a month and try it again. Howard said in all fairness to Mr. Jennings they could be wrong. Howard said they've done enough shows today so he has to end it. He said it's crazy how much dedication they have to this show. He ended the show around 11:10am.