MarksFriggin.com - Stern Show News

Howard Stern Show News Archives.

For The Week Of 11/8/99 to 11/12/99

-- Monday November 8, 1999 --

Welcome WJSE 102.7 In Atlantic City, New Jersey. 11/8/99. 6:05am
Howard welcomed another station to the Stern Show family this morning. Starting this morning WJSE 102.7 in Atlantic City, New Jersey is broadcasting the show. This is the first station to join the family in over a year. Howard pointed out that now the area between New York City and Philadelphia is covered. He actually said that area is kind of like the 'taint between your privates and your butt.
Captain Janks Calls In. 11/8/99. 6:55am
Phony phone caller Captain Janks called in to update Howard on his most recent phony phone call. Last week he made a call to a Seattle TV station saying that he was an eyewitness to some shooting that happened out there. He told Howard that the station is now threatening to sue Janks for fraud. Howard told him that he shouldn't defend himself, just say that he did it because the lawsuit would be ridiculous. He also said that he'll be on the TV show ''Extra'' sometime this week. Last week Howard told him that when they interviewed him he should demand that his voice be altered. He did that but said that the cameraman pointed out that his face will be on camera so what's the point. Janks said he thinks it'll be pretty funny when it airs. Howard was laughing at the thought of it and said he's looking forward to seeing it.
Fred's Copy Machine Accident. 11/8/99. 7:10am
Last week Fred had a mishap with a copy machine. Howard explained that Jackie Stallone will be coming on the show in the near future and she has a new talent. She claims to be able to read people's future by looking at their asses. So the crew decided to photocopy their asses. Howard didn't want to do it but everyone else, including Robin(!), was willing to make a copy of their ass. Gary, John, Jackie and Robin all made copies but Robin's came out as a big black piece of paper. There was no contrast so you couldn't see much of her ass in the copy. So anyway, Fred went to make his copy but must have put too much weight on the glass top of the machine. He shattered the glass and got it stuck in his butt. Fred needed help from other people getting the glass out of his ass. Howard was in meetings with the owner of the company, Mel Karmazin, and afterward heard about the incident. As soon as he heard about it he got his ass out of the building because he figured he'd be lectured on doing crap like that. Gary told Howard that everyone was more worried about Fred than the machine. Gary was told not to do stuff like that in the future because it's very dangerous. They all thought that they'd be yelled at for ruining the very large copy machine. Fred was in this morning so he must not have done too much damage to himself.
Gary Coleman Comes In. 11/8/99. 7:35am
Actor Gary Coleman came in this morning to plug a web site thing he's doing on UGO.com. Earlier in the morning Howard heard that Gary wasn't thrilled about doing the show but he had to get this plug in for the web site. He said he's not a fan of Howard's and he didn't think much of him. He even said he'd walk off the show if Howard asked him a question he didn't like. There were a few things that Gary didn't want to talk about like ''Diff'rent Strokes'', his parents and a recent lawsuit. Howard said he'd try to bring up all three in one sentence. Gary came in and settled right in no problem. Howard asked him about everything from his height to his sex life. Gary told Howard that he's never listened to the show, he's just heard things from people about Howard bashing him. Howard and Robin said they've defended him in many things so he really shouldn't be upset about anything. Howard spent a while talking to Gary about how his adoptive parents squandered away all of his earnings from his ''Diff'rent Strokes'' work and how he's now penniless. It's estimated that Gary earned about $18 million in his childhood career and it's all gone. Even a $1 million pension fund vanished somehow. Howard also spoke to him about his kidney problems and how he has to go through dialysis 3 times a week. He said he has to sit there for 3 hours while machines clean his blood because his kidney's have failed more than once. He's had 2 transplants and neither of them have worked. The biggest revelation of the morning was that Gary is a 31 year old virgin! He said that there are many reasons for remaining a virgin including his health problems. He said that he has seen breasts but has never gotten oral sex or any other type of sex. He said when he needs to he pleasures himself but it's rare. He hinted that he's well endowed so that's not a problem for him. He said he has 4 friends and 3 of them are women. He said he gets along better with women than with men. Howard asked him if he's gay but Gary said no to that. Gary also spoke about this web site thing he's involved with. He said this UGO.com came after him and said they'd like to make some money for him. So they're running this thing from November 15 through the 28th where they'll have Gary auctioning things off and having a chat thing and a whole bunch of other stuff. Near the end of the interview Gary said that he was glad to have done the show today. Then the subject of Dana Plato came up. Gary said he'd heard horrible things about Howard because he was the last interview she did before her death. Howard explained that Dana was very happy the day she did the show and she enjoyed it very much. Gary was thinking that Howard may have been ''the catalyst'' for her downward spiral leading to her death the day after she appeared on the show. Howard made it clear that it wasn't the case. Gary said he had to apologize for thinking all of that stuff.
Another Nightmare Weekend For Howard. 11/8/99. 8:30am
Howard had another weekend out with his daughter Ashley this week. He explained to Robin how he took Ashley to the Museum of Natural History to see this really cool butterfly exhibit where you can stand in a room with them and they land on you. He said he and Ashley thought it was really cool. Then he said that the museum doesn't charge you to get in but if you want to make a donation you can do that. So after the people at the museum showed Howard and his kid around he wanted to make a donation. He told the guy he wanted to do that and he said they'd have to fill out some paperwork. Howard had to tell him that he just wanted to give them like $100 or so.. They thought he was going to make a huge donation. Howard said he was really embarrassed and felt like a dope after it.
Comedian Robert Schimmel Comes In. 11/8/99. 8:40am
Comedian Robert Schimmel came in this morning with his 21 year old daughter Jessica. Every time Bob comes in he has some great stories to tell and today was no different. Both he and his daughter had a bunch of great stories for Howard. Bob said that Jessica, who's pre-med at the University of Arizona, told her teachers that there was a death in the family so she could make this trip to New York with her father. She told Howard a bunch of stuff about Gary Coleman that he didn't know earlier. She said he's like an intern at some radio station in Phoenix and he talks about his foot fetish on the air. Howard said they should have been there during Gary's interview. Jessica also spoke a lot about her parents strange relationship. She said she didn't even know that her parents had broken up when she was younger. They'd separated and didn't bother to tell her. She had to find out while listening to a radio station. She just thought he was really busy and didn't come home much. Jessica had to take her mom out and get her drunk to find out the real story. She also went on to tell Howard some of the stuff her mother told her about her father. Her mom told her that her father cheated on her and had a woman in his room when they were trying to patch up their marriage. Bob had to explain that story to Howard. Bob also said that he just had his gall bladder out 4 weeks ago. That led to even more weird stories about him. He said that he was on blood pressure medication so he wasn't having much luck getting aroused for his wife. So he went on a sex chat room, by himself, and was pleasuring himself when his wife walked in. He didn't know she was there so when she said something to him it scared him and he peed on the floor. Bob also had a story about doing some jokes on the new ''Hollywood Squares'' that had to be cut last week. He shot the shows last week and they'll air this week. He cracked a joke about Louie Anderson and the producers freaked out and cut the question out of the show. On the next question he did the same thing and cracked a fat joke about Louie again. He said everyone in the squares was cracking up but he doesn't think the producers liked it because they didn't even say goodbye to him. Bob said he was also cut from the Jerry Stiller Friars Club Roast on Comedy Central. He made a joke about Ellen DeGeneres that may not have gone over that well with Comedy Central. After that story Jessica went into a whole long story about her sex life and how she's only been with one guy and how she's had a lot of health problems. She's diabetic and is allergic to spermicide. Bob didn't really want to hear about all of this stuff because it's his daughter. We then learned that while Bob was in the hospital, drugged up on Morphine, he called his daughter's friend to come and keep him company. Jessica was there but had stepped out of the room for a few minutes when Bob somehow made the call. He said he doesn't really remember much about the hospital and doesn't even know how he got her number. He said she's attractive and his wife got really mad at him when she heard about it from Jessica. Howard asked Jessica if her friend finds her father attractive and she just said ''no comment.'' Howard said Bob may be a sex addict. Bob has an HBO special coming up this Saturday at 10pm and will be on Conan O'Brien's show tomorrow night. He's also on Hollywood Squares all this week. His new CD ''Unprotected'' comes out December 7.
Howard's Fun With Gay Porn. 11/8/99. 9:55am
Howard was telling Robin how he and a couple of friends went out to watch some of the New York City Marathon yesterday. Howard had to get dressed up in a disguise so no one would bother him. He said he was wearing a big winter parka with his head all covered up and his hair bunched up in a hat. He went on to talk about seeing people finish the marathon and how inspiring it was to see a guy with no arms finish the race. Then he went on to explain how he and the guys found some gay porn magazines that someone had put out for garbage. They fished through it and took a magazine. As they walked around they did things like slipping the gay pictures under people's doors and at one point Ralph stood at a restaurant window with the porn up against the window. They were planning on taking some of the porn and maybe putting it on some really homophobic person's desk or something like that. Ralph called in and joined in on the conversation. He said that ''Gay porn is fun!'' Then Mike Gange came in and said he used to put weird stuff in Robin's bag once in a while. They'd put vibrators and weird panties in there and Robin wouldn't know where it came from. KC said he used to take gay stuff and put it in his school buddy ''Buckethead's'' book so it would fall out when he'd open his book in class. Howard and the gang did something like that to Jackie one time also. It was the infamous Jessica Hahn bathtub incident when Jackie got in trouble with his wife. Jessica had gotten her sexy nightie all wet so Howard took it and put it in Jackie's bag. When he got home his wife yelled at him for the bathtub incident and ran out of the house. Jackie then went to unpack and found the nightie. He took it out back and threw it over his fence so his wife wouldn't see it. He said if she had seen it he wouldn't be alive today.
-- Tuesday November 9, 1999 (Replayed on Sunday, October 31, 2010) --
Howard Sings New Song Parodies. 11/9/99. 6:50am
Yesterday Howard and the crew were talking about how Paul McCartney of the Beatles has been dating a woman with one leg. As soon as Howard heard about that he started thinking up lyrics for a song parody. Today he had a couple of parodies to sing. He did one to the tune of ''I Wanna Hold Your Hand'' that was about her stump. The other one was to ''Here Comes The Sun'' called ''Here Comes The Stump'' but Howard couldn't get through the whole thing. Unfortunately I'm unable to bring you the lyrics due to threats from Howard's lawyers.
Gary Garver Celebrity Interviews. 11/9/99. 7:50am
Howard played tape of Gary Garver at some pediatric AIDS charity golf event where he interviewed Tea Leoni and Andy Garcia. First up was Tea. Gary asked her questions like:
- Who is your biggest influence?
- Have you ever taken Prozac?
- Have you ever had a lesbian experience?
- Have you ever had a gay sex fantasy?
- Is penis size important?
Tea was doing okay for the first few questions but by the time Gary got around to asking her about a gay sex fantasy she was done. Howard found her interview ''oddly compelling'' because he said ''she talks like she's drunk.'' Tea called her friend over and the two of them ran off by the time Gary asked the penis question. Next up was Andy Garcia, who Howard and Robin recently learned, had a conjoined twin attached to his shoulder when he was born. Gary asked him a couple of questions like:
- Who is your biggest influence?
- Who is the most talented person in Hollywood?
- Have you ever gotten aroused in a love scene?
- Have you ever smoked marijuana?
Garcia got very offended by the last two questions. He said something about ''the injustice'' of the questions and ran off. Howard was fascinated by the conjoined twin thing and went on to goof on that after playing the interview.
Donald Trump Calls In. 11/9/99. 8:00am
Rich man Donald Trump called in to discuss his possible run for the Presidency of the United States. Donald asked Howard if he could date Alison now that the two of them have split. Howard said he'd let him do that but he'd then date Trump's teenage daughter Ivanca. Trump said Howard would be the perfect son-in-law. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about Trump running for President but was more interested in Trump's new 5' 11'' tall, super model girlfriend Melanija, Knavs. Howard saw some pictures of the girlfriend and had to find out more from Trump. Howard and Donald discussed what it's like to date someone so beautiful. Trump invited Howard out with him sometime and said that he'd ''see things you've never seen before.'' Eventually Howard got Donald to put the girlfriend on the phone. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to her but she didn't have much to say. Her Austrian accent was kind of annoying. Howard tried to talk dirty to her but she wasn't really into it. She quickly gave the phone back to Donald. Trump continued to offer to take Howard out sometime. Howard wouldn't commit to anything but said he should do it because his audience wants to see him dating.
Wally George Calls In. 11/9/99. 8:40am
Who is Wally George? He calls himself ''The Father of Combat TV'' but who would know that. He's also the father of Rebecca DeMornay but they don't speak. Wally has called in a few times in the past and he always points out that he hates Howard and the show he does but he keeps calling in. Howard is fascinated by the guy and his relationship, or lack of one, with his family. Wally and Howard spoke about Rebecca DeMornay once again this morning. He writes about the relationship in his new book ''Wally George : The Father of Combat TV'' and claims that she doesn't talk to anyone in the family. She doesn't talk to her brother or sister and of course, Wally. Howard asked him what went wrong with the relationship but Wally has no answer for that. He said she became very distant after Wally married his second(?) wife Janice. Now Wally says that Rebecca won't even speak to her 10 year old sister Holly. He said that Holly is very upset about that. Howard let a few phone callers through to talk to Wally but there wasn't one positive call. Everyone told Wally he sucks and stuff like that. One guy said that Wally's book should be used as toilet paper. Before Wally left he pleaded to Rebecca to visit her sister. He said that even if she doesn't want to see him, she should visit her sister. Howard let him plug his book and he gave out a phone number to order it.. 1-800-354-5348. He said the book is $15 including tax and shipping and he'll personally autograph them for Stern fans. Oooo.. I can hear the phone ringing off the hook now! After the call Howard said that he tried to get Wally into a fight but the guy is just sad and he wouldn't fight. Howard felt sorry for the guy and gave out the phone number again because he felt so bad. The 67 year old Wally just sounded weak to Howard so he just didn't want to fight like he has in the past.
-- Wednesday November 10, 1999 --
Howard Enjoys First Scores Party Since Separation. 11/10/99. 6:30am
Howard discussed his latest trip to the Scores strip club this morning. He and a bunch of the guys from the show went to Scores and enjoyed a nice meal and some lap dances. Howard said he was even offered phone numbers from 2 or 3 of the young strippers. He said he took the numbers but he probably won't be calling any of them. He said the time's not right for it. He also said that Ralph was touching his leg at the club and it freaked him out. He said Ralph was smoking a cigarette and put his hand on his leg. Howard felt a burning sensation, looked down and saw Ralph's hand on his leg. Ralph called in and said he didn't remember that happening. He was a little wasted. Everyone else had a story to tell also. Stuttering John and Gary both said Benjy was acting strangely as usual. He was staring at the women and wearing his weird overalls. Lonnie from Scores ended up giving Benjy some special ''Scores Pants'' that he can wear when he visits the club in the future. Howard said Vinnie Favale from CBS was there also. Vinnie called in and his voice was shot from telling jokes all day at Scores. Even KC made it to Scores. He got a rubdown from a stripper but didn't even take his shirt off. Gary, John and Jackie also got rub downs but they take their shirts off. Howard doesn't get why they like getting rubbed down if the woman's not going to do anything to them. They all said the rub downs feel great. John said he hears the stripper moaning while she rubs him down. All of this led to a discussion with Ralph about being single. Gary tried to tell Ralph that he's going to be a lonely guy when he gets older but Ralph doesn't seem to care. Gary said when he's 50 or 60 he'll be really lonely and Ralph just said he doesn't think he'll make it to 60 so it doesn't really matter.
Battle Of The Christs. 11/10/99. 7:25am
These two nuts who each claim to be Jesus came in to argue with each other this morning. The first Jesus, Greg Stewart Gordon, claims that his initials, GS, sound like Jesus so that's one sign. GS was on the show a few years ago and he was just as wacky back then. He gets very violent when confronted about being Jesus and today he had to walk out of the studio to calm down. He went to prison for breaking into Ronald Regan's home because he thinks he's the anti-Christ. He said there were some good things about prison meaning that he enjoyed the gay sex. Yes, GS, is a homosexual. He said he now knows why he wants men circumcised.. So he can enjoy oral sex with them! The second ''Jesus'' was this guy Omega who was on the show back in June. The two Jesus' told Howard their stories and while Omega kept his cool, GS lost his friggin mind when Omega would tell him something he didn't like. He went so nuts at one point that he said he had to go out and calm down. Meanwhile, Omega kept spewing his crap. Within a couple of minutes GS was calm so he came back in. Before they left GS told Howard how he wants to change the world by ''changing feces into methane gas'' to produce energy for the world.. Omega said that the world's resources don't belong to the people who own them now to argue with GS. Both of them have web sites which is pretty scary. GS's web site is at LightOfTheWorld.com and Omega can be found at OmegaChrist.com. Both of them seem to agree that there can be more than one person who thinks they're Christ. Visit them both and try to figure out which one is the ''real'' one.
Wrestler Bret Hart Comes In. 11/10/99. 8:05am
WCW Wrestler Bret ''Hitman'' Hart came in this morning to promote his new documentary ''Hitman Hart: Wrestling with Shadows'' and the soundtrack CD that goes along with it. Bret is the late Owen Hart's brother. Owen was killed a few months ago when he fell while entering a wrestling ring while being suspended from the ceiling of the auditorium. Howard spent a little while talking to Bret about that and how his family is suing the WWF over the death. He also found out about Bret growing up with 12 kids in the family and how they used to fight each other. Bret's father was also a wrestler and a tough guy. Bret said that one time his father caught some guy trying to steal his car so instead of calling the cops he took it into his own hands. He brought the kid in his house and held him in a head lock for a while. He ended up calling the kid's parents instead of the cops. Bret thought that was pretty cool. Howard and Bret also discussed how he left the WWF to make more money wrestling in the WCW. Bret explained how the head of the WWF, Vince McMahon, pretty much told him to go to the WCW to make more money. Bret signed with the WCW but he had 30 days left on his WWF contract so he was still wrestling. He got screwed at one even where he was supposed to win but they changed the outcome and made him look like a fool. He told Howard that after the match he called McMahon into his dressing room. He had to get dressed but told McMahon that if he was still standing there when he got back he'd punch him out. He came back and McMahon was still there. He them took one punch and knocked McMahon on his ass. The documentary crew was outside of the dressing room at the time so they got some tape of McMahon coming out drowsy from the punch. That's included on the video tape Bret was plugging. Howard took some calls and one guy brought up wrestler Shawn Michaels. He wondered why McMahon would keep Michaels and not Bret. Bret theorized that there may be something homosexual going on there but Howard tried to make him say that he doesn't know that for sure so he wouldn't be sued. Bret said that he just thinks it's possible that could be something that could happen but he doesn't know it for a fact. Before Bret left Howard brought in this 22 year old guy Robert who says he's Bret's biggest fan. He said he doesn't have pictures of Bret hanging on his wall but he collects magazine articles about him. Howard thinks that's kind of weird for a 22 year old. Robert said he's been following Bret since 1988. There was also one female phone caller who said she'd do anything for Bret. Howard asked her if she'd do anal with her and she said yes. Bret asked her if she'd do his laundry.. She said no. You can visit Bret's web site at BretHart.net.
Alan Thicke Calls In. 11/10/99. 8:45am
Actor Alan Thicke called in to talk to Howard about how his latest marriage is breaking up after only a few short years of marriage. Thicke was married to a Miss World model type and now they're breaking up. Thicke was married before and Howard wondered why he would marry again after one failed marriage. Alan said that he thinks marriage is a good thing and he'd do it again if he found the right woman. He said that this marriage broke up after his wife turned 30 and she experienced some ''changes'' in her life. He's not dating yet but it's just a matter of time. The two of them have a child together so they have joint custody. They had a pre-nuptial agreement so she's not taking every last cent from him but the child support may help do that. He said there was nothing in the pre-nup about kids so the state calculates what he should pay. He jokingly said the kid is only 2 and has is's own Jaguar. Howard also plugged Alan's book ''How Men Have Babies : The Pregnant Father's Survival Guide'' before ending the call.
Porn Star Houston Calls In. 11/10/99. 9:20am
Porn star Houston called in to say ''hi'' to Howard and to offer her condolences on his separation. Houston didn't have much more to say than ''Wow!'' about the separation. She said she didn't have the chance to call him earlier because she was down in Mexico filming a ''Bukake'' movie. She tried to explain what a Bukake is but the delay was hit about 3 times so here's what I caught.. They bury Houston in sand so only her head and breasts are exposed and men take advantage of her. Houston said that she may see her prom date Brad while she's in New York this week. She's appearing at Gentleman's Quarterly in Baldwin, New York through Saturday. She was only on the phone for a couple of minutes because Howard was preparing to get to the news.
-- Thursday November 11, 1999 --
Robin Injures Herself. 11/11/99. 6:05am
First thing this morning Howard mentioned that Robin was wearing sunglasses to cover up an injury she received when she hit herself in the face with her phone. Some people are thinking that perhaps her boyfriend did it to her but according to Robin, that's not true. She wouldn't put up for crap like that. She didn't blacken her eye but she did receive a cut somewhere on her face. She didn't explain exactly how she did it though. Maybe the story is too embarrassing to tell.
Benjy's Date? 11/11/99. 7:10am
A woman was scheduled to come in this morning to meet fat researcher Benjy. She called the show recently and said that she wanted to meet him. Benjy got all dressed up this morning prepared to meet his new woman. What Benjy didn't know was that the woman called in and canceled because, as it turns out, she's under house arrest because of a drunk driving arrest. Howard didn't tell Benjy this because Gary had this woman Amanda come in. Amanda is a really hot looking school teacher who met Gary at a charity event last night. Amanda is a big fan of Howard's and she wanted to meet him. Howard decided to pretend that this woman was the woman who called for Benjy. Howard had Benjy come in to the studio. He was all dressed up in a new suit. Howard then had Amanda come in pretending to be Melissa. Benjy was really impressed and said she was really hot. He quickly noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra. Howard didn't drag it out too long and broke the news to Benjy. A short time later the real Melissa called in to correct Howard because he thought she was in jail for her DWI arrest. She said she's under house arrest for another 6 days and she'll be able to come down. She said it wasn't just the DWI that has her under arrest. She said there was some weed involved also. Amanda gave Benjy a kiss on the cheek as she was leaving.. but that wasn't the end of it. She came back a short time later.
Bartering For Breasts. 11/11/99. 7:35am
A couple of people told Howard that Amanda the teacher probably would have shown her breasts if Howard had asked her to. Howard didn't believe it but had her come back in to find out. She came in and said that she wouldn't have done it and she wasn't willing to do it at all. Then they learned that she's actually got a boyfriend which they didn't know about. Gary, the amazing negotiator that he is, came in and started offering Amanda all kinds of watches and jewelry to see if she'd take her top off. This went on for a really long time and they finally got her to agree to put a bikini top on for a $1000 watch. She went in the bathroom and put the top on then came back out. Gary and Howard weren't ready to give up so they continued to offer her more and more stuff. All they wanted to see was a 5 second flash of her breasts. She was extremely hesitant to show any part of her body so they figured there must be something wrong with her body. Eventually she broke down and did a really quick flash of her breasts which no one really saw anyway. She ended up flashing a couple of times but apparently she was pushing her breasts together so they couldn't really tell if they looked good or not. Her boyfriend Steven actually called in and told her she should do it but she resisted. Howard also wanted to see her thong clad ass but she didn't want to show that either. They offered to let her sit on Howard's lap while he interviewed Dick Clark and she still said ''no.'' She gave a quick view of the top of her thong but that was it. Eventually everyone got tired of the haggling so they gave up and let her go on her way. Meanwhile, Dick Clark was on the phone listening to all of this.
Dick Clark Calls In To Plug ''Greed.'' 11/11/99. 8:05am
Media mogul Dick Clark called in to promote the FOX TV show ''Greed'' this morning. Dick is one of the producers of the show so he called Howard to get the word out that it's on tonight at 9pm on the FOX network. He heard Howard saying good things about it so he figured this was a good place to promote it. Before he could get to any of that Howard asked him if he'd rub the phone on his nipples.. He was still in the negotiating for nudity mode so he played with Dick for a minute. Dick said he was naked already because it was very early out in California. It didn't take long for Dick to get right in to his promotion mode. He told Howard that on tonight's episode of ''Greed'' someone yells out ''Baba Booey'' right in the middle of a tense moment. They left it in so you'll be able to hear it. He said that there is someone who goes for the $2 million jackpot on the show. Howard also asked Dick about a rumor he heard from his agent, Don Buchwald. Buchwald told Howard that Dick owns the rights to some under sea cable or something like that. Dick said that wasn't true but shortly after that said that he owns the rights to telecommunication cable down in Mexico and the Dominican Republic. Buchwald didn't have all the facts right but he was close. Dick then got back to promoting the show. He gave Robin and Howard a couple of sample questions from ''Greed.'' Here are a couple of them:
- Which of the following can be found on a Big Mac: Tomato, Pickle, Mustard, Bacon - Robin picked pickle and got it right
- According to a sleep study, which of the following is a factor in getting a better night's sleep: Good mattress, good pillow, good blanket, good exercise, good sex. - Howard answered good exercise, got it wrong. Correct was Mattress.
- Which of the following is the top selling automobile in the United States: Ford Thunderbird, Chevy Camaro, Honda Civic, Toyota Camry, Pontiac Grand Am - Howard picked the Civic, got it wrong. Correct answer was Camry.
After that a guy called in and accused the show of being racist because a black guy was eliminated on the first show. Dick said that was ridiculous and didn't want to discuss it. Dick plugged the show a couple more times and said that he wants to meet with Howard sometime to discuss studios. Howard told him to give him a call next time he's in New York. They'll get together, talk and fellate each other.. Those were Howard's words, not mine.
Gary's Scary Cab Story. 11/11/99. 8:50am
Gary came in and had a funny story to tell. Last night Gary was at a function for the Life Beat AIDS charity. When he left the event around 11:30 he had to catch a taxi cab to get to a friends house where he was staying for the night. He flagged down a gypsy cab that didn't look too bad. He said it didn't have fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror or anything like that. So he got in, asked the guy how much it would cost and off they went. The guy told him it would be $10. They got to the destination and Gary handed the guy a $20 bill and asked for a 10 in return. The guy went nuts and said that he told him it would be $15. The driver went postal and started yelling at Gary calling him a liar. Gary told him to calm down and stop being a jerk. The driver then hit the power lock button and locked Gary in the back. Every time Gary would try to get out the driver would lock the door. Eventually Gary got the lock up, opened the door and tried to run. He was carrying a bag full of small gifts he got at the charity event and as he got out the handles got hooked on the door handle. The whole bag ripped open and spilled on the street. Gary didn't care, he ran about 100 yards to the building he was staying at. He ran right past the doorman who then started to chase him because he didn't recognize him. The doorman caught him and tried to find out who he was. Gary was afraid that the cab driver was chasing him so he moved out of the window so the driver wouldn't see him. He explained it all to the doorman and he went up to his friend's apartment. He said his heart pounded for about an hour after that. One thing he left out was that he did give the driver the $10 he was originally quoted. He said he was just trying to make change with the $20 bill but he did have two $5 bills that he gave to the guy. Howard told him he's got balls for doing that because he could have ended up dead. Howard said ''You're 100% man and 35% teeth.''
Dr. Howard DeVore Calls In. 11/11/99. 9:00am
Dr. Howard Devore is this sex therapist who has called in before. Howard couldn't quite remember why they spoke to him but Dr. Devore reminded him that he's an ''intersex'' person. He was born with both male and female genitalia. Today he was supposed to talk to Howard about how some women fantasize about being raped but it's not an invitation for men to rape them. They ended up spending time talking about what the Dr. Has in his pants. He wasn't very clear about what's actually there and Howard actually said he was speechless at one point. There was also a lot of delay button pushing going on during the interview so we missed quite a bit of information. They spoke about the rape fantasy thing and a couple of callers said they have fantasies of rape. One guy said that he has fantasies of being raped by either a man or a woman. Another guy said he and his girlfriend did a rape fantasy role playing thing and now he thinks about doing it to another woman. Dr. Devore said it's okay to fantasize as long as he doesn't act on it. Then this woman who claimed to be an x-ray technician called in and started telling stories about things she's seen, and heard, about being found up people's butts. She said last night she took an x-ray of a guy who had a shower head up there. Most of her stories were chopped up by the damn delay button. If you have any of these weird problems you can contact Dr. Devore at 310-274-6726.
Kathie Lee Responds To Howard Reading Her Letter. 11/11/99. 9:35am
Howard read an article from some newspaper about how Kathie Lee has finally responded to Howard reading her condolence letter on the air. It was short and she basically said she didn't think he'd read it on the air and she's not upset about it. Big Black also called in with some tape where she made a very veiled reference to the letter on her show. She was telling Regis how when she was having problems with sweat shops a couple of years ago, she got some nice letters from people and she'll never forget them. She figured that she would start doing the same thing for other people so that perhaps they would feel better during hard times in their lives.
Rappers Rum Republik Come In. 11/11/99. 9:40am
Howard had a rap group come in to plug themselves after they performed a rap song about Howard. They sang about how Howard should keep his ''pimp hand'' strong. It was a catchy little tune that everyone seemed to enjoy. He only kept them in for a couple of minutes but they got to plug their Rap-o-Gram service. You can call them and they'll send someone out to rap a birthday message or something like that. You can find out more by calling them at 917-775-9321 or visit their web site RumRepublik.com
-- Friday, November 12, 1999 (As replayed on Friday, May 16, 2008) --
- Master Tape Theatre - November 12, 1999. 05/16/08. 6:00am
  Today's Howard Stern Master Tape Theatre was from November 12, 1999. This show was in my archives but I've added some missing details to my original write up. The original write up is below this updated version.
- Voices In Howard's Head. 11/12/1999. 6:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: Sheryl Crow performing ''Strong Enough'' live in Howard's studio.
  Howard started the show talking about all of the guests they had coming on this morning. He had a whole list of people who were supposed to be calling and stopping in. He said he was going to fellate Tim Burton for the first time on radio this morning. He said he checked with the Gay and Lesbian Alliance and they told him that it would not technically be gay if he did that to Tim. He suggested that Fred fellate him while he did Tim Burton too.
  After an edited out commercial break Howard came back and said he was glad it was Friday because he loves the weekend. He said he'd love it even more if he could get the voices out of his head. That led to Fred playing Howard's mother's ''Hello!?'' audio clip over and over.
  Howard said he had some tape of Jackie to play. He was about to do that but Fred was playing more of his mother audio clips and driving him crazy. Howard said that the voices in his head were getting even worse. He asked some questions of the audio clips but the answers were all ''no.'' Then Fred threw in some of his father's audio clips to make him even crazier.
- Goofing On Jackie. 11/12/1999. 6:05am
  Howard said he had this Jackie clip to play. In the clip it was Jackie doing a commercial for an mortgage company. Howard was goofing on Jackie about it but Jackie said that they had already played it. Jackie also said that someone from the William Morris agency heard them play that and now they're going to give him some more work.
  Jackie said that Annemarie would have the date of the time they played that clip. Howard said that he doesn't need her coming in and distracting them. He said that she's very beautiful and all dolled up today so he doesn't need that.
  Howard brought up Tim Burton and how Ralph was talking to him about the movies that he's done and how he pictures him doing things like Batman. Howard said he actually invited Ralph in to meet the guy because he thinks it'll be funny.
  Howard mentioned that they're going to play the gossip game with Erica Elainiak today. He said that the E! guys were saying that they need to get more girls on the show so that's why they're having her in. Howard mentioned that Bob Schimmel is going to be coming in too.
- Gary Garver Replays. 11/12/1999. 6:10am
  Howard had some audio clips of some interviews that Gary Garver did recently. He played one he did with Tea Leoni. Garver was at some pediatric AIDS charity golf event where he interviewed Tea Leoni and Andy Garcia. First up was Tea. Gary asked her questions like:
  - Who is your biggest influence?
  - Have you ever taken Prozac?
  - Have you ever had a lesbian experience?
  - Have you ever had a gay sex fantasy?
  - Is penis size important?
  Tea was doing okay for the first few questions but by the time Gary got around to asking her about a gay sex fantasy she was done. Howard found her interview ''oddly compelling'' because he said ''she talks like she's drunk.'' Tea called her friend over and the two of them ran off by the time Gary asked the penis question. Next up was Andy Garcia, who Howard and Robin recently learned, had a conjoined twin attached to his shoulder when he was born. Gary asked him a couple of questions like:
  - Who is your biggest influence?
  - Who is the most talented person in Hollywood?
  - Have you ever gotten aroused in a love scene?
  - Have you ever smoked marijuana?
  Garcia got very offended by the last two questions. He said something about ''the injustice'' of the questions and ran off.
  Howard said that he would pay $500 for an interview with Andy because of that conjoined twin thing. He said he has to know more about that. He said they don't know that they removed the second head from his body so it could still be there.
- Various News Stories. 11/12/1999. 6:20am
  Howard read an article about Julianna Margulies turning down a $27 million, 2 year offer to stay on E.R. He said that she's going to end up like David Caruso or Suzanne Somers if she turns down that offer. She would be turning down an offer that would make her the highest paid actress on TV. He read about some of the other people on the show and what they're getting paid.
  The guys spent a short time talking about Julianna and how crazy it would be turn down an offer like that. Howard said that unless she's a very wealthy woman without the show she should stick with it. Howard said that anyone who likes money has to keep a job like that.
  Gary came in and read some stories about Andy Garcia and his conjoined twin. It was removed minutes after birth according to what he read. Howard said he wants to know what happened to the brother. He said he has to know everything about it and told Gary to get him on the show.
  Howard read some other stories in the news and had one about Katie Couric who waited 2 years before she started dating someone after her husband's death. He said that they report that the guy she was dating was a guy who was arrested one time because of an arrest he had a couple of years ago. The assault charges were dropped a short time after they were filed but Katie and the guy had broken up after she found out about it. Howard said that Katie shouldn't have broken up over a story like that.
  Howard mentioned all of the guests they had coming up today. He said they'd be getting to all of them soon. He also mentioned some of the guests they had coming up next week. They ended up talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger for a short time since he's coming in. Robin talked about some of the stuff he was doing on a wrestling show that was on recently.
  Howard said that the movie company was upset with him for talking about falling asleep during Arnold's new movie. He said that he was tired and it wasn't the movie that put him to sleep. He said that they had some great effects in the movie and it was action packed.
- Comedian Bob Schimmel Calls In. 11/12/1999. 6:45am
  After the break Howard asked Gary to tell a story that he had told him earlier. Gary said that he parked his car for about an hour yesterday and he was told that he owed them $42. Gary said that he was there at 1:30 but they claimed that he was there at 10:30 in the morning. Gary said the guy talked to another guy there and they insisted that he pay for three hours until another customer showed up. He said the guy may have mixed up a couple of tickets and they weren't actually trying to beat him for the money.
  Comedian Bob Schimmel called in to give Howard an update on the aftermath of his appearance earlier this week. During the interview Bob and his daughter spoke about an incident that happened while he was in the hospital after a gall bladder operation. According to Bob his wife is very upset about the whole situation. As a matter of fact he's getting kicked out of his house!
  Bob told Howard that he's spoken to his wife a couple of times and she's not a happy person. He had to correct one thing about the story. He said that she was 21 when he was on but today he said she's actually 25. Big difference.
  Bob also said that there may have been some inappropriate behavior but he doesn't really remember what happened in the hospital because he was on morphine. Bob didn't make things any better with his phone call this morning but he sure was funny.
  Bob is out in Los Angeles today but he said he's heading back to his home in Arizona to clear out his stuff. Howard told him to call in from the house on Monday so they can hear what happens. Tune in to find out what happens.
- Director Kevin Smith And Comedian Chris Rock Come In. 11/12/1999. 7:00am
  Kevin Smith and Chris Rock came in this morning to promote the new movie ''Dogma'' which Kevin directed. The movie opens wide today. Jackie said he saw it and really enjoyed it.
  Howard spent a while talking to Chris about some stories he's read in the tabloids lately. Chris told him that they're all false and that he's with his wife now and they're doing fine.
  Howard also asked Chris if he lightens his skin. He saw a tape one time from years ago and Chris looked darker then than he does now. Chris immediately changed the subject by saying ''Hey! You're getting divorced!'' Howard explained why he separated from Alison and both Chris and Kevin hung on every word of it.
  Kevin's been married for 6 months and said it's going great. Howard said 6 months is like dating, not like 21 years of marriage.
  They also talked about porno movies and the subject of Houston's Bukake movie came up. Howard had one of these ''Bukake'' movies loaded up in the VCR so he showed Kevin and Chris a short clip. He got sick over it and couldn't watch more than 5 seconds of it without gagging.
  Kevin spent a couple of minutes talking about ''Dogma'' and also about the ''Superman'' movie he wrote that just kind of faded away. He was going to work with director Tim Burton on it but Burton changed his mind so it just went away.
  Chris was going to play Jimmy Olson in the movie. That led to Chris telling a story about a meeting he had with actor Chris O'Donnell who played Robin in the last ''Batman'' movie. The two of them were talking and O'Donnell asked Rock what he was up to. He told O'Donnell that he was going to play Jimmy Olson in ''Superman'' and O'Donnell says ''A black Jimmy Olson? .. Yeah, I guess so.'' Rock thought that was pretty funny. Chris Rock has a new episode of his HBO show on tonight at 11:30pm.
- The Gossip Game With Playboy Model Erika Elainiak. 11/12/1999. 7:45am
  After the break we heard a Captain Janks prank call to Hulk Hogan. Actress Erika Elainiak came in to promote a new mini-series that she's appearing in this weekend called ''Aftershock.'' As soon as Erika came in she told Howard how much she loves him. She said that she listens all the time and loves the show.
  Before Howard did the full interview he played the Mike Walker Gossip game with Erika. Mike told Howard about a movie she's in where there's some nudity going on. The movie is ''Chasers'' and both Mike and Gary said it's a must see movie. Howard had to move along so he had Mike do his thing.
  Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. Here are this week's stories:
  1. Tommy Lee showed up at a Halloween party dressed as the late golfer Payne Stewart.
  2. While Cindy Margolis was hosting some internet event one of her breasts flopped out of her clothing.
  3. Shania Twain uses a grease on her skin, udder balm, that's also used on cows udders to protect them from chafing.
  4. While smoking at a trendy restaurant in Los Angels, Sly Stallone was asked to put out his smoke. They thought it was a ''funny cigarette'' but it turned out to be a perfectly legal ''Honey Rose'' herbal cigarette.
  Erika picked number 2 as the false story. Howard, Robin and Jackie all picked number 1 as the false story. The actual false story was number 4. Mike managed to fool everyone today.
  After the tame Howard spoke to Erika about her life and her new mini-series ''Aftershock.'' Howard learned that Erika started modeling at age 10. She appeared in ''E.T.'' as the young girl who kissed Elliott and danced with him. As she got older she got involved with drugs and said she tried just about everything including crank and crystal meth.
  Erika also said that she dated a 23 year old when she was only 15. She told Howard how she used to sneak out to see the guy and she'd lie to her mother to do it. He turned out to be a ''freak'' according to Erika. She said that he cheated on her and did some wacky things.
  Erika also told Howard how she dated a quadriplegic guy for a while until He cheated on her. Howard couldn't believe that there were two hot women fighting over a guy in a wheelchair. Erika said she really liked that guy.
  Howard figured that all men have hope if Eric was willing to date someone in a wheelchair. Now Erika is happily married so she's no longer available. ''Aftershock'' starts this Sunday, November 14 and ends on Tuesday.
- Director Tim Burton Comes In. 11/12/1999. 8:20am
  After the break Howard had Tim Burton in to promote his new movie ''The Legend of Sleepy Hollow'' which opens Friday, November 19. Burton has directed movies like ''Mars Attacks'', ''Edward Scissorhands'', ''Ed Wood'', ''Beetlejuice'' and ''The Nightmare Before Christmas.'' Howard met Tim a couple years ago at the Cannes Film Festival in France. Tim's a fan of Howard's and they spent some time talking out there.
  Today Howard wanted to find out what happened to the new ''Superman'' movie Tim was working on. Tim worked for a full year on the new movie but it was eventually scrapped for some reason. Tim basically said that the studios turn the movies into toys and t-shirts before the movie is even made and that kind of ruins the thing. They also have weird ideas for the characters that just sound dumb.
  Tim explained how the studio wanted Superman to wear shorts instead of the red tights that he's worn in the past and they wanted flames on the sides of his boots. They also wanted him to wear corduroy!
  Howard kissed Tim's ass a little bit telling him how great the first ''Batman'' movie was and how he was really looking forward to this new ''Superman'' movie.
  Howard also spoke to Tim about his weird family life. Tim said he wanted out of his family home so bad that he tried to crawl out before he could even walk. He said his parents weren't really bad people, he just didn't get along with them.
  Howard pointed out how hot his current girlfriend is. Lisa Marie and Tim met at a strip club and have been together for years. He said he had to wait a really long time to get someone so beautiful. He said that he could count the number of women he had before her on one hand.. with three fingers cut off. He wasn't very popular in high school but did go to his 10 year high school reunion. He said it was very surreal. He said the people who were always picked on in school were the good looking, successful people and the people who were the king and queen of the prom were looking like old people.
  Tim also told Howard that he worked for Disney studios doing animation but he couldn't do their type of drawing so he moved on. He made some short movies and Pee Wee Herman saw them and gave him his first director job. He now says he's the luckiest man in the world.
  Howard plugged ''The Legend of Sleepy Hollow'' and took a call from Chaunce Hayden who said he saw the movie. He told Tim that it's great and that he'd give it 4 stars.
  Howard also let his buddy Ralph come in to meet Tim because he's such a huge fan. Ralph asked Tim a few questions about his various movies. He also kissed his ass telling him that movies never disappoint him and he doesn't have any criticism's. He did ask why, in ''Batman'' with all of the expensive sets, did they use a Chevy Citation for Batman's love interest. Tim said it's hard to get good cars in England, where it was shot, so they had to use the producer's car. We also found out that Tim is working on a remake of ''The Man with X-Ray Eyes.'' That's another one Howard is looking forward to. Ralph asked a couple of other questions and eventually they had to end the interview.
- Robin's News. 11/12/1999. 8:50am
  After the Tim Burton interview Howard had Robin do some news. She read some stories about JFK Jr.'s marriage possibly being on the brink of disaster before the plane crash. She had a story about the big fight between Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield that was coming up over the weekend. She had a story about Magic Johnson's HIV battle and how he seems to be very healthy at this point.
  Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the taxi cab problem they're having there in the city. Robin spent a little time talking about that.
  Robin read some news about Al Gore, people imitating the movie Fight Club, cell phone use getting annoying and more.
  Howard took a call from a guy who asked what this Bukkake thing is that he was talking about earlier. Howard explained it to the guy but the guy still didn't get it. Howard said he couldn't get any more explicit than he had gotten and hung up on the guy.
  Robin read some more news about a couple of airline crashes, Wade Boggs retiring from baseball, Kid Rock donating a song to a Playboy event, Joey Buttafuoco, and a bunch of other things before she ended her news. Howard ended the show around 9:20am (Master Tape Theatre time).
-- Friday November 12, 1999 --
Comedian Bob Schimmel Calls In. 11/12/99. 7:00am
Comedian Bob Schimmel called in to give Howard an update on the aftermath of his appearance earlier this week. During the interview Bob and his daughter spoke about an incident that happened while he was in the hospital after a gall bladder operation. According to Bob his wife is very upset about the whole situation. As a matter of fact he's getting kicked out of his house! He told Howard that he's spoken to his wife a couple of times and she's not a happy person. He had to correct one thing about the story. He said that she was 21 when he was on but today he said she's actually 25.. big difference. He also said that there may have been some inappropriate behavior but he doesn't really remember what happened in the hospital because he was on morphine. Bob didn't make things any better with his phone call this morning but he sure was funny. Bob is out in Los Angeles today but he said he's heading back to his home in Arizona to clear out his stuff. Howard told him to call in from the house on Monday so they can hear what happens. Tune in to find out what happens.
Director Kevin Smith And Comedian Chris Rock Come In. 11/12/99. 7:25am
Kevin Smith and Chris Rock came in this morning to promote the new movie ''Dogma'' which Kevin directed. The movie opens wide today. Jackie said he saw it and really enjoyed it. Howard spent a while talking to Chris about some stories he's read in the tabloids lately. Chris told him that they're all false and that he's with his wife now and they're doing fine. Howard also asked Chris if he lightens his skin. He saw a tape one time from years ago and Chris looked darker then than he does now. Chris immediately changed the subject by saying ''Hey! You're getting divorced!'' Howard explained why he separated from Alison and both Chris and Kevin hung on every word of it. Kevin's been married for 6 months and said it's going great. Howard said 6 months is like dating, not like 21 years of marriage. They also talked about porno movies and the subject of Houston's Bukake movie came up. Howard had one of these ''Bukake'' movies loaded up in the VCR so he showed Kevin and Chris a short clip. He got sick over it and couldn't watch more than 5 seconds of it without gagging. Kevin spent a couple of minutes talking about ''Dogma'' and also about the ''Superman'' movie he wrote that just kind of faded away. He was going to work with director Tim Burton on it but Burton changed his mind so it just went away. Chris was going to play Jimmy Olson in the movie. That led to Chris telling a story about a meeting he had with actor Chris O'Donnell who played Robin in the last ''Batman'' movie. The two of them were talking and O'Donnell asked Rock what he was up to. He told O'Donnell that he was going to play Jimmy Olson in ''Superman'' and O'Donnell says ''A black Jimmy Olson? .. Yeah, I guess so.'' Rock thought that was pretty funny. Chris Rock has a new episode of his HBO show on tonight at 11:30pm.
The Gossip Game With Playboy Model Erika Elainiak. 11/12/99. 8:15am
Actress Erika Elainiak came in to promote a new mini-series that she's appearing in this weekend called ''Aftershock.'' As soon as Erika came in she told Howard how much she loves him. She said that she listens all the time and love s the show. Before Howard did the full interview he played the Mike Walker Gossip game with Erika. Mike told Howard about a movie she's in where there's some nudity going on. The movie is ''Chasers'' and both Mike and Gary said it's a must see movie. Howard had to move along so he had Mike do his thing.
Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. Here are this week's stories:
1. Tommy Lee showed up at a halloween party dressed as the late golfer Payne Stewart.
2. While Cindy Margolis was hosting some internet event one of her breasts flopped out of her clothing.
3. Shania Twain uses a grease on her skin, udder balm, that's also used on cows udders to protect them from chafing.
4. While smoking at a trendy restaurant in Los Angels, Sly Stallone was asked to put out his smoke. They thought it was a ''funny cigarette'' but it turned out to be a perfectly legal ''Honey Rose'' herbal cigarette.
Erika picked number 2 as the false story. Howard, Robin and Jackie all picked number 1 as the false story. The actual false story was number 4. Mike managed to fool everyone today.
After the tame Howard spoke to Erika about her life and her new mini-series ''Aftershock.'' Howard learned that Erika started modeling at age 10. She appeared in ''E.T.'' as the young girl who kissed Elliott and danced with him. As she got older she got involved with drugs and said she tried just about everything including crank and crystal meth. She also said that she dated a 23 year old when she was only 15. She told Howard how she used to sneak out to see the guy and she'd lie to her mother to do it. He turned out to be a ''freak'' according to Erika. She said that he cheated on her and did some wacky things. She also told Howard how she dated a quadriplegic guy for a while until He cheated on her. Howard couldn't believe that there were two hot women fighting over a guy in a wheelchair. Erika said she really liked that guy. Howard figured that all men have hope if Eric was willing to date someone in a wheelchair. Now Erika is happily married so she's no longer available. ''Aftershock'' starts this Sunday, November 14 and ends on Tuesday.
Director Tim Burton Comes In. 11/12/99. 8:50am
The great director Tim Burton came in this morning to promote his new movie ''The Legend of Sleepy Hollow'' which opens Friday, November 19. Burton has directed movies like ''Mars Attacks'', ''Edward Scissorhands'', ''Ed Wood'', ''Beetlejuice'' and ''The Nightmare Before Christmas.'' Howard met Tim a couple years ago at the Cannes Film Festival in France. Tim's a fan of Howard's and they spent some time talking out there. Today Howard wanted to find out what happened to the new ''Superman'' movie Tim was working on. Tim worked for a full year on the new movie but it was eventually scrapped for some reason. Tim basically said that the studios turn the movies into toys and t-shirts before the movie is even made and that kind of ruins the thing. They also have weird ideas for the characters that just sound dumb. He explained how the studio wanted Superman to wear shorts instead of the red tights that he's worn in the past and they wanted flames on the sides of his boots. They also wanted him to wear corduroy! Howard kissed Tim's ass a little bit telling him how great the first ''Batman'' movie was and how he was really looking forward to this new ''Superman'' movie. Howard also spoke to Tim about his weird family life. Tim said he wanted out of his family home so bad that he tried to crawl out before he could even walk. He said his parents weren't really bad people, he just didn't get along with them. Howard pointed out how hot his current girlfriend is. Lisa Marie and Tim met at a strip club and have been together for years. He said he had to wait a really long time to get someone so beautiful. He said that he could count the number of women he had before her on one hand.. with three fingers cut off. He wasn't very popular in high school but did go to his 10 year high school reunion. He said it was very surreal. He said the people who were always picked on in school were the good looking, successful people and the people who were the king and queen of the prom were looking like old people. Tim also told Howard that he worked for Disney studios doing animation but he couldn't do their type of drawing so he moved on. He made some short movies and Pee Wee Herman saw them and gave him his first director job. He now says he's the luckiest man in the world. Howard plugged ''The Legend of Sleepy Hollow'' and took a call from Chaunce Hayden who said he saw the movie. He told Tim that it's great and that he'd give it 4 stars. Howard also let his buddy Ralph come in to meet Tim because he's such a huge fan. Ralph asked Tim a few questions about his various movies. He also kissed his ass telling him that movies never disappoint him and he doesn't have any criticism's. He did ask why, in ''Batman'' with all of the expensive sets, did they use a Chevy Citation for Batman's love interest. Tim said it's hard to get good cars in England, where it was shot, so they had to use the producer's car. We also found out that Tim is working on a remake of ''The Man with X-Ray Eyes.'' That's another one Howard is looking forward to. Ralph asked a couple of other questions and eventually they had to end the interview.