Howard started the show talking about what they had coming up on the show. They had the gay lie detector test and Stone Temple Pilots coming in. Howard said he knows that Ralph isn't a homo. Robin wasn't so sure about that. Howard said his movie wife is coming in today too. He said she's not a big star yet but she is on ''Murder One.'' They had to take a break a short time later.
After the (edited out) break Howard came back and had a Tiny Tim interview clip playing. They spent a short time talking about that. Howard moved on to talk about how he had a guy on the line who claimed to be a Naomi Campbell stalker. Howard asked the guy some questions about what he does. The guy said that he and Howard had met a few years ago. Howard asked how he got into the party. The guy said he was outside, he didn't get in.
The caller said that he was a fan of Robin's before he got into Naomi. He told Howard about how he tracked Naomi down and he was very excited when he first met her. Howard asked if he's a homo. The guy said he's not that happy. Howard spent a minute talking to him and then told Gary to tell him how to get in so they can have him in the studio.
Howard said it's stuff like this that makes you realized how f'd up this world is. Robin said she had a guy come up to her asking her to give his number to a woman she was out with about a month ago. It's strange stuff like that going on out there. Robin said guys are weird like that. They went to break a short time later.
Howard took a call from a woman who told him that she loves him because he's so rad. She was only 14 years old. Howard said that a 42 year old guy isn't that far from 14. The girl said that she's with a 27 year old. She dates the guy but she's still a virgin. Howard asked her if she has a crush on him. She said she does. Howard asked what a 14 year old thinks about. Howard said he feels like Joe Piscopo. He asked if she wanted to play Candyland with him.
Howard asked the girl if she gets to second base with the guy. She said that she guesses she does. She said she has been with 16 year old boys too. Howard asked when her parents split up. She said they didn't. Howard figured they had if she was up to this stuff at 14.
Robin asked what's so hot about Howard. She said she's not even sure. Howard said he may go over and spend his weekend with this 14 year old. The girl said that she likes Howard's hair. Howard told her not to call anymore because it's just going to lead to trouble. He asked her what else she likes about him. She said she likes his eyes too. Howard let her go a short time later. He said he's going to pass on getting her. He said the type he attracts aren't usually that cute.
Howard heard that the stalker dude was there. He said they might want to hide his movie wife. Gary said they were talking to him about being in jail and he had been locked up over something about his father when he was younger.
Howard said he heard that Gary and Mary shared a movie trailer. Gary had told him that the trailer stunk from her taking a number 2. Mary said ''Oh please!'' Gary said that the trailer reeked and he wasn't sure who did it but it was awful. Howard said he smelled something in there too but Mary was claiming it wasn't her. Howard said that doesn't turn him off.
Howard said Mary slammed into him with a body slam after they shot a scene the other day. He said she didn't even realize it but his back hurt all day after that. Howard said that they're going to take a break and then get to the stalker guy. They went to break a short time later.
This guy called in early this morning and told Howard that he was the guy who waits for Supermodel Naomi Campbell in front of her apartment building. Howard invited him down to the studio to see what he looks like. He came down really quick. He must have been right around the corner. He told Howard how he met Naomi right in front of her apartment building. He doesn't call it stalking of course. He thinks he's just an admirer.
Michael must not be a very good looking guy because Robin's reaction when he walked in was pretty bad. Naomi eventually got a restraining order against this guy. He says that he'd never hurt her because he thinks she's so beautiful.
This guy still thinks that Naomi likes him but was forced into signing that restraining order by her boyfriend. He said that he could tell by her signature on the restraining order that she did it reluctantly.
At one point in the interview a woman claiming to be Naomi called in and had a little conversation with this guy. It turned out to be a friend of the show who was putting the guy on. He couldn't tell that it was a fake though. Howard did it to prove a point to the guy. The guy thinks he knows Naomi really well but he couldn't recognize that it wasn't her on the phone.
The guy was spooked by something during the interview because when he was leaving he didn't say a word when Howard was saying goodbye. Weird guy. They went to break a short time later.
Howard had Ralph come in to talk about his lie detector test. He was telling Ralph what he wants to do to him sexually. He was also wondering what happened with Scott DePace's lie detector test.
Scott DePace works on the E! show. His sexuality has been questioned in the past so Howard had him take the same test as Ralph. Scott passed his test. He wasn't deceptive during his. Only one question went off the scales with Scott. It was something about sailors which started him laughing. The laughing may have screwed up that question.
Howard wanted Robin to get to some news but Ralph was still arguing about his test. He was saying there's no reason he wouldn't tell them if he really was gay. He insists that he's not gay. They spent a couple more minutes goofing on Ralph about the gay thing. Mary McCormack said he must be Bi.
Robin got to some news and had some stories about OJ Simpson's case. She had audio clips and stories about that.
Robin read some news about President Clinton. She had some news about Kirstie Alley's break up with Parker Stevenson. Robin read some news about Mother Theresa and some heart problems she was having.
Robin had some audio of Glenn Close talking about her role in 101 Dalmations. Robin also had a story about a stolen car that was recovered. It was originally stolen from JFK Jr. 3 years ago.
Robin read about Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi starting up the whole Blues Brothers thing again. Robin had some audio of them talking about that. They wrapped up after that and went over Ralph's gay test again. Howard thanked Ed for coming in and helping out with the lie detector test. They ended the show a short time later.