|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard and the guys were back from their week long vacation this morning. Howard started the show having some trouble getting himself on air. He was also welcoming himself back to the air. He said he wasn't sure where to start with everything he had to talk about. He said they had the American Idol rumor to talk about. He said a lot of conversation has been going on about that.
Robin said she saw that Simon Cowell commented on that. Howard said he understands that Simon is leaving the show to compete with the show but he won't be on against it. He said he's bringing his own show over to FOX. He said he wasn't even sure where to begin with this.
Howard said he never came out publicly and talked about how this got started. Howard said there was a report in the paper about how he was offered the job. He never confirmed it. He said that they claimed he was going to get paid $100 million to do it and if that was true, how could he turn it down. All he said was that he would do it for that kind of money. Howard said he's not going to turn down that money.
Howard said it would be that kind of money to basically do nothing. He said he never said if he was offered the job. Howard said there is something he said on the air that instigated it all. He said that he had been offered ''a job'' at one of the leading networks judging in a prime time show. He never said what network it was or what show it was. He said that it could be a new show or an old show but no one knew what it was. He said he just had some fun with the Idol talk.
Howard said everyone is having fun with the whole thing and he has a whole page of people discussing this thing like he's running for President of the United States. He said that they say that he's a horrible judge and they're already getting rid of him.
Howard said the most interesting thing is that Simon Cowell came out and made a statement about him. He said that it was almost like he did a press conference. Howard said Cowell didn't make any sense. He was all over the place with his comments. Howard said that he thinks Cowell just doesn't want him replacing him. Howard said when David Lee Roth came in to replace him he was thrilled about it. He said he doesn't think Simon is in that same place.
Howard said he heard that people were worried that he was going to cause them problems with sponsors and things like that. Howard said he never causes David Letterman any problems when he goes on there. He said he that wouldn't happen with Idol. He said he's not going to ask one of the kids if they have a smelly vagina or anything like that. He said people think he's a maniac.
Howard said he keeps reading that he's lobbying to get the job. He said they got a hold of Beth somewhere and they asked her what she thinks. Beth said the show is funny to watch with Howard. He said that's what his wife is going to say and it was taken from that comment that he's lobbying to get the job. Howard said he doesn't care if he's on that show. He thinks it's just a shitty karaoke contest. He also thinks that Ellen is a cunt and he's sure that they're not going to hire him to be on that show if he's saying that.
Howard said he's not lobbying for that job. He said he doesn't need to be a judge on a reality show. He said that the person who wrote that is a fucking maniac. He said he's being painted as someone who is dying for the job. He said he's not. If they're going to offer him a $100 million then he'll do it but he's not desperate for that job.
Howard said Simon was saying that he's not a good looking man in this press conference he held. Howard said Simon was also saying that Perez Hilton would be a good replacement. Howard said he likes Perez but he doesn't think he's a good looking man either. Howard said Simon has man tits too so he's not one to be talking about someone's looks.
Howard said he's an American icon who changed radio. He said he's had a film, book, pay-per-view specials, TV shows and more all in American media. He said that during his career he's been responsible for generating interest in long standing musical artists. He said he's backed then and nurtured them. He said that Simon is from England and judges ''American'' Idols on a network run by an Australian. Howard said he also created an American Idol-like thing on radio back in the 80s when he would have people come in and judge musical acts on his radio show. He said he's just as qualified for the job as Simon Cowell is.
Howard said the show is doomed without Simon on the show. He said he's been watching Ellen on the show and she's as odd as they come. He said she's unrelatable and very awkward. Howard said Kara Diguardi is horrible on the show too.
Howard said Simon's claim to fame was a record album for wrestlemania. Howard said he's got a personality and that's why he's qualified for that job. Robin said that he's a perfect critic because he's nasty to people who have talent. He's a good critic and Howard thinks he is one too.
Robin brought up Jay Leno during that discussion so Howard went off on him for a minute. He was talking about how annoying his new commercials are. He said that no one wants to see Jay driving around in his million dollar cars in this economy. He said it's just going to piss them off.
Howard read some articles about Simon's comments about him. Howard read through those and then said that Gawker.com is the site where they said he was relentlessly trying to get the job. Howard said he never said he would even take it. He said he sounds like a desperate nut in these articles.
Howard made a statement about how he is qualified to do that show. He said that he's had a career in the business and has experience with musicians and Simon is an Englishman who isn't even as qualified as him.
Howard said that Ellen was saying she would quit the show if they hired him. He said that would be a great way to get rid of her. He said she's disturbing to look at on that show. He said the ratings are dropping even more this year. He said that Kara isn't helping the show either.
Howard said they're saying that he doesn't know anything about music but neither does Ellen. He said that she just dances to music. Howard said he watches that show for Simon's opinion and if he's not in place then he's not watching.
Howard asked JD if he should play any of these clips he had. JD told him about some of the clips and suggested a couple. Howard played one where this news reporter was talking about the way Howard was bashing Ellen and then played some of his comments about her and how he wants to get her off the show.
Howard said that Ellen is a cunt and they should have played that clip on that show. He said that he's got people telling him that they're happy he's talking about what a cunt she really is off the air. He said that she pretends to be nice on the air but there are people who think she's awful to work with.
Howard said he got a note from a famous media consultant and asked him how much Idol is paying him for all of this coverage.
Howard played another clip where this woman was saying that he was being crass and rude about Ellen. Howard said he's just being honest. Howard said he knows that Simon doesn't like working with Ellen either. He said that he's keeping his mouth shut though.
Howard played more audio where they were talking about how dirty he could be on that show. Howard said he can be clean on network TV. He said he might be rated R on satellite radio but he can clean it up for TV.
Howard said there were other reports where they said that he was negotiating with satellite radio so that's why he was doing all of this. Howard said that reporters are also looking for quotes but they can just quote what he says now. He said he's not negotiating with SIRIUS right now. He said when he got there they had 600,000 subscribers. Within years they were in the millions. He said that he did his job there and he's probably outlived his usefulness. He said that someone reported that XM is doing just fine without him on their service. Howard said they bought out that company so he's not sure how they're doing just fine.
Howard said everyone thinks that they can do just fine without him there. He said if that's what they believe then he's just going to leave and watch the company crumble like terrestrial radio did when he left. He said that's what these ''specialists'' are saying about him. He said that they're also saying that he's lost influence on satellite. He said he's glad he did because the FCC is leaving him alone now. He said he loves broadcasting there. He said he can say what he wants and they leave him alone.
Howard said that CBS Radio just announced that they're 57 percent down. He said that's what they can expect if he leaves this company. Howard said they claim that he hasn't helped their stock but that has nothing to do with him. He said he can just bring millions of subscribers there. He doesn't have anything to do with the way they run the company.
Howard said he is fantastic and wonderful and Simon Cowell is afraid of him taking over his spot. He said Simon wants that show to fail because he wants his own show, X Factor, to be a success.
Howard said that Ellen was asking for a $150,000 clothing budget on that show. He said she just wears pants and a vest so he's not sure what that money is for.
Howard played some more of the news report he had. They were talking about Howard's comments about Ellen and played one where he talked about her being a Covergirl model and how fake the pictures look. The reporters were talking about the way Howard was playing this game but Howard cut that off and said he's never played these kind of games. He said they're morons on this program where they're talking about him. He said he's not going to play games trying to be nice to Ellen just so he can get on that show.
Howard said he isn't afraid of Ellen. He said if she wants to work with him that's fine. He said he's not going to pretend to like her though. He said there might be some coldness on the show but that's fine. They can throw insults back and forth about how they're both ugly.
Howard played another news report were some people were talking about the way he was slamming Ellen on his show. One of the reporters said he's just trying to get attention and he doesn't want the rumors to go away. Howard said he can fix that. He said he doesn't want the job. There, that's it.
Howard talked about how lame Ellen is on Idol. He talked about the way they were looking at the pictures of the contestants and rearranging them on the table and how he just wanted her to get the fuck off the show when he saw that. He said that she has this weird stare too and she never blinks. Howard said she wears those man pants and the vest and it's just weird. He said she wears the same shit all the time and maybe she should wear a dress once in a while.
Howard said Ellen dresses like a man all the time so he's going to dress like a woman on that show. Robin said the kids would be very confused by that. Howard said kids wouldn't know what to make of it.
Howard played more of the clip where they were talking about Ellen's looks and the comments Howard made about her.
Howard said on TMZ they seem to think he's going to jerk off on the show or something like that. Howard was about to play that clip but he said that Fred Schneider from the B-52s was coming in today. He thought it was tomorrow but Fred and Gary corrected him and said it was today.
Howard brought up how they had a hit singer from a band on the show when they had Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson on the show one time. They had the guy perform and they thought he sucked. Meanwhile the guy had a hit song at the time.
Howard played the TMZ report about him where they were saying that Howard was pissed about the comments Ellen was making about him. They played a couple of audio clips from the show where he was going off on Ellen. Howard said he has to take the job because everyone is mouthing off about him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's tired of Howard's constant bashing of Ellen. Howard ended up hanging up on the guy.
Howard asked how she looked. JD said she looked good. He asked who she sat next to. JD said she sat next to him.
JD said he met Ashley at the movie. He said that she had to go out with her mother after the movie so he didn't get to hang out with her after. Howard and Fred were doing their impressions of JD and goofing on him about the date.
Howard asked JD if he had any conversation after the movie. JD said they kind of did. He said she left shortly after the movie was over. Howard told JD he's getting played and he should give it up now. He said that she's not interested in him. He said that she wouldn't run out of there if she was interested. Howard said Ashley lives with her mom. He said that she eats dinner with her every fuckin' night. JD said she doesn't but ''whatever.''
Howard asked JD what he wore to the date. He heard that he was all shaved and trying to look nice. JD said he was wearing a sweater and nice pants. He said he did shave. He didn't wear any cologne. He doesn't ever wear any fragrance. Howard asked if he wore that really cool Cheetos t-shirt he has. JD said he didn't wear that.
Howard told JD that she didn't meet her mom for dinner. Robin said she had two hours to give JD and it was all in a movie. Howard made up the conversation that Ashley must have had with her mom telling her that she had to pretend to be going out to dinner with her.
Howard said he heard from Ralph that the movie Shutter Island was amazing. JD said it started off slow but it did get good.
Howard said if Ashley was there with a guy she was into, she wouldn't have run off to dinner with her mom. He said that if she wanted him then she would have stuck around.
Howard asked JD if he got to talk to Ashley during the movie at all. He said they did talk a little bit about the movie. Fred was doing his JD impression saying that he touched her boob with his elbow during the movie. Howard said he heard that he was bragging that she kissed him on the cheek after the movie. JD said he wasn't bragging. He said he just said he got a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He said he knows where he is and how he's stuck in this hole. Howard said he's going to help him get out of the hole.
Howard said thanks to the movie ''She's Out of My League'' he has $5,000 for him to take her out on a dream date. Howard said that he should tell her that he's going to give her $4,000 for a blow job and a $1000 tip. JD just said ''Oh god...''
Howard said he heard that they were both texting Jon Hein during the movie. JD said he was doing that and she got in on it too. Robin asked if he got her anything to eat or drink during the movie. JD said he may have gotten her some candy.
Howard told JD he can take her out on a date with his 5 grand he has. He asked him what he would do. JD said he's not sure that she would be up for it. Gary said that the money is to spend on the girl who is out of his league so he has to figure out what the date would be like. Howard said that maybe he can get a fantasy suite somewhere. He said they could fly to Miami and stay at a nice place down there. Howard said it would be just one night though.
Howard asked about his texting with Jon Hein. He asked if she was reading over his shoulder. JD said they all had the same thoughts at certain points. They got confused at times so they would text back and forth. He said Ashley agreed with Jon at one point and took over the texting.
Howard said that was a good move. That got her involved. Howard asked if he fantasized about what it would be like to be her boyfriend. JD said he wasn't thinking about that.
Howard told JD to give him a fantasy date and they'll give him this 5 grand. JD said he's not much of a dater so he has to think about it. Howard told him to take her shopping or something. JD said maybe he'll do that. Howard said he has to run it by him first. JD said he has to talk to her about it. Howard told JD not to tell her, just take her out shopping and don't tell her he has this 5 grand.
JD said that Ashley texted him and told him that she wanted to be clear that they're just friends and she doesn't want to lead him on. Robin asked why he's leading them on then. JD said that they brought it up, not him. Howard asked him if he wants to do the $5,000 thing. JD said he guesses so. Howard asked if he jerked off after the date. JD said he didn't but Howard didn't believe him. He said he had to be lying. JD said that he didn't do that and he doesn't do everything Howard would do.
Howard told JD not to be lame about the date and just tell her that he's going to take her out in a limo and take her down to Atlantic City. Howard said JD would run out of money if he took her to Vegas. He said they should just go to Atlantic City and hang out down there.
Howard and Fred did their impressions of JD telling Ashley about their date in A.C. They were saying they could go down and get a couple's massage or something like that. JD can pretend it's his limo and take her down there to hang out.
Howard had JD asking what he had to do to fuck her. Howard told JD to do it until he's satisfied. JD said that's all he can do. Howard said that he wanted to thank the movie ''She's Out of My League'' for the money. He told JD to come up with a dream date and let him know about it tomorrow. JD didn't sound all that into it though.
Howard asked JD what he would do if he could go out on a date. JD said it depends on who the person is. Robin said that they know who it is.
Gary came in and said that JD could get two tickets on Air France to go over to France for the day. Gary said that the tickets are $2500 and they'd have $2500 to play with when they get there. Gary said that's the kind of stuff they could do.
Gary asked JD if he knows what Ashley likes. JD said they've only been out twice. He said he doesn't know what she likes to do. JD said he did most of the talking the first time they went out. He said he knows she likes the Jerky Boys. Howard said he could fly her to France for a night. He said he should take her down to Palm Beach. Robin said they should go to Miami. Howard said there are too many good looking guys in Miami.
Howard said JD and Ashley could text Jon Hein from the pool down there. The guys were saying they could send JD and Ashley to a deserted island. Howard said that he might become more attractive if the island is just full of the natives and JD. They were trying to help him get set up with this chick. Fred and Howard continued to goof around doing impressions of him. Howard told JD to report back to him tomorrow about this.
Robin asked JD if he's ever dreamt about a romantic date. JD said he never has. Howard said JD has a dream that some day he'll have a dream. He thanked JD for coming in and let him go. He said he's just trying to help out his boy there. He said he's trying to build up that self esteem. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he had a great clip to play. He said it was the funniest one yet. He played that one and the reporters were talking about the rumors about him going to Idol. They quoted his comments about wanting Ellen to leave the show if he gets on the show. They also had some of his comments about some of the contestants on the show. Then one of the reporters said that he wanted to say that Carrie Underwood did not need to lose weight. Howard said that this guy is looking at pictures of her now and not when she was originally on the show. Howard said she was fat when she was on Idol originally. He said she did lose weight and she looks terrific now. He was right again.
Howard said the Wall Street Journal had a whole article about him and the picture they had was kick ass. He said he liked that and the article seemed to be pretty positive. Howard said he was in a black duster and he was very Darth Vader-ish. Howard said he liked that picture. Howard said it was the right angle for him. He said that Scott DePace knows how to get the right angle after all these years.
Howard said there are a bunch of other funny reports about him. He said that when they quote him it sounds much worse than when he says it himself.
Howard played another clip where some reporters were talking about Paula Abdul's comments about Howard possibly joining the show. One of the reporters said he thinks they need Howard on that show and he'd be a great choice for the judge. He said that if they took the chance it would pay off huge for them. Another reporter asked if anyone could have as much star power as Simon. The guy said Howard has a lot of star power. Howard said he has more. It turns out it was Harvey Levin from TMZ talking about how great Howard would be on the show.
Howard said he's not going to campaign for that show but if they offered him $100 million to do it, he's not going to turn it down.
Howard said some of the women are upset that the party is at noon during the week. Robin said that it wasn't just her. She said that Pam Sabean was part of that. Robin said that there are some people who are upset about the timing of the shower. Robin said she let Pam call the shots. Robin said they realized what they were doing but it was comfortable for them.
Lisa said she just found something out. She said that Kristin has to work on a Saturday now that she has to take time out to go to the party. Howard laughed when he heard that. He asked Robin how they can have a party at noon during the week for people who have to work. Robin said she may have done it at a different time. She was about to say she would have done it on the weekend but took that back.
Howard asked who else is going. Robin said that Lisa is coming. She said that it should be her, Pam and Mary Dell'Abate too. Howard said that this is crazy that they're doing this party at that time.
Lisa said they spoke to the owner of Crumb's Baker about the cookie fiasco that was going on there. She said that they're going to be sending more cookies there and they're also thinking about selling them online now that they've had so much attention over them.
Howard said that he can't believe what was going on with Ronnie and Jason there. He said that he had to put a stop to it. Ronnie was supposed to be watching the halls and not caring what Jason is saying. Howard said he had to straighten it all out. Howard said that Ronnie is not to touch the cookies anymore. He said he's just going to walk right by them from now on.
Ronnie came in and said he thought Howard was dropping this. Howard said he did drop it. He said Ronnie isn't going to be delivering cookies anymore. Howard said Ronnie is not in charge of all of that. He gets worked up over this stuff too much. Howard said Ronnie is supposed to be the sheriff out there and he's out of control. He said it's like they have Mexico out there in the hall. He said they need someone watching over Ronnie now.
Ronnie came back so Howard asked if he fixed his beard out there. Ronnie asked how he messed up in this whole thing. Howard said he was fighting with people and he doesn't need him doing that. Ronnie said he wasn't fighting with anyone. Howard said Ronnie has to just relax. Ronnie said he spoke to Jason this morning and said that they just have to move on. Howard said Ronnie is the law and if they have to watch the law then they have Mexico out there.
Howard said there's a new movie out called ''A Dangerous Man'' and it's a new Steven Seagal movie. He said he didn't know he was still making movies. Howard said Seagal is the size of an elephant. He said that he goes to jail after being wrongly accused of a crime. They offer him $350,000 when he gets out and Steven turns it down. Seagal gets out and he gets involved in some kind of mess with a mafia organization. Howard said the guy has 14 chins but he's whipping the shit out of these young karate guys who are attacking 14 at a time. Howard said there's a hot chick in the movie who falls in love with this one. He said that they have gratuitous sex scenes in this movie too. Howard said the guy barely moves when he fights. He's like a beached whale. He said he gives it a big thumbs up.
Howard told Ronnie he should fashion his life around this guy Steven Seagal. Howard said that he should juts stand around and eat. Ronnie said he's just going to mind his own business.
Lisa got back to her news and said that Robert Schimmel got a lot of feedback from the show when he was on. There have been hundreds of people who have offered to help out with their liver. She said that he's also lost some gigs because people are afraid that he's not going to be able to perform. Lisa said she's also been getting tested at the Mayo clinic. Howard thanked her for that and let her go.
Destiny told Howard she has started to do porn on her web site. She said that she does girl on girl porn stuff. Howard said he tried to get into the web site but he wasn't able to log in. He read about her cup size, height and weight and said that they were all just right. Howard found out that she has implants. She went from an A-cup to a D-cup. Howard asked to see them. She whipped them out and showed them.
Howard read about Destiny's web site and the live web cam shows she does. She said that she masturbates on her cam when guys tell her what to do. Howard asked if she was the hot girl in high school. She said she wasn't really.
Howard said that she has some tattoos but she should stop now. She said that she's done with what she has. Howard read that she masturbates about 20 times a week. Destiny said she uses the big Hitachi and that thing rocks her world every time. She said it takes just 20-30 seconds to finish. Robin said she uses that one too and that's abut how long it takes with her too. Howard said he wants to know if it's a whole ritual that they do or do they just shove that thing down there and get off. Robin said she just thinks about things in her head, she doesn't need pictures. Destiny said she's the same way.
Howard said that Destiny does ''panty stuffing'' so he wondered what that was. She said that it's a fetish. She said she shoves her panties in there when she gets wet and guys love it. Howard said he wouldn't want to see that. She said that guys love it. Robin said that the must want the whole panty saturated. Destiny said that guys like to see the cum all over them when she pulls them out. Howard said he wouldn't want to see that.
Howard asked if the guys buy panties when she's done with them. She said that some guys do. She said some guys will pay $500-600 for them. She said that only happens a couple of times a month though. She said she doesn't get a ton of requests for that. Howard said that kind of money could pay the rent. Destiny said it definitely does.
Howard asked what other things guys ask for her to shove up there. She said that he'd be amazed. She also does double penetration things. Howard said that he just had a colonoscopy so he knows what that must be like. Destiny said she's never had anything come out when she has put things in there.
Howard asked Destiny about how she got started doing other girls. She said that they started in high school and it just kind of happened on prom night. She said that they ended up leaving their guys to do things with each other. She said that they didn't even do the guys they went to prom with. Destiny said they started out making out. Destiny said this was her best friend and they were just messing around and the other girl just went down on her and it was amazing.
Howard asked for details about what they did. Destiny said the whole thing was weird. She said they were just changing and they started kissing. She said they ripped off their PJs and got into it. Howard asked how long she spent on her boobs. She said it lasted like an hour. She said they took their time.
Howard asked how long she spends on the boobs alone. She said that she started there but then went down her panties and the whole thing was unplanned but it was great. Destiny said that the other girl went down on her and licked her. Destiny said that she went down on the other girl after she was done. She said they took care of each other. Howard asked if she licked her taint. She didn't but she does that to her boyfriend.
Destiny said that she always brings other girls into the bedroom with her boyfriend. She said that she gets turned on seeing him with another woman. Howard said she sounds like a great girlfriend. Howard asked what this guy does. She said that he's her riding partner and he does the motorcycle stunts with her.
Howard asked who the girl was that she brought along with her. Destiny said she's just a friend. Howard asked if she's gotten it on with her yet. She said she hasn't yet.
Howard asked Destiny if her parents are okay with this. She said that her mom is cool with it but her dad doesn't like to bring it up. She said that her mom is happy that she's happy doing what she's doing.
Howard asked Destiny if she would try out the Sybian. She said she would because she's never tried it. Howard asked her to describe what she's feeling inside while it's happening. He said that even if she's feeling nothing, he wants the truth. Destiny said she could do that.
Howard had Destiny go over to the Sybian and noticed that she was fully shaved. Gange gave her a ''Wow!'' when he saw that. Howard saw that she was pierced down below too. She said that it helps get her off.
Gange said that Gary was refusing to put on his mask. Gary said he's been looking around lately and he thinks that Gange should be wearing one too. Gary said that he's not the ugliest guy in the room. Howard said it's because he's standing right next to her so that's why he has to wear one.
Howard told Destiny to ask for more juice if she wants more power. He had Gary start her out. Destiny said her whole body was vibrating. She said that her face was even vibrating. Howard had Gary jack it up to 40 percent power. Destiny said it was starting to feel good. She asked for more juice. Gary brought it up to 60 percent and Destiny said that was feeling good. She said that she was feeling that throbbing feeling down there. Destiny said that she was being vibrated so hard. She said it really did feel good. She asked for more juice. Gary brought it up some more so Howard told Gary to just bring it up to 100 percent. Destiny said it felt good. She said it felt awesome and said she felt like she was being raped by that thing. She asked how anyone could not enjoy it. She started to breathe heavy and said she wasn't expecting that. Destiny just stayed on it until she finished. Howard asked if she was at 100 percent. Gary confirmed she was. Destiny moaned and grunted for a short time and said she was going to cum. She was done a short time later. She said that thing was ''so fucking amazing.'' She jumped off the thing when she was done. She said it was just too much. She said that's her new best friend. Howard said he's going to do that to a woman some day. Destiny was shaking from it. Robin said she thought she might be too uptight but then realized that she does it all the time.
Gary said he's noticed that it starts out comical for some women but then it gets really serious. He said he saw that happen with her. Howard said he was proud to have her as a Miss Howard TV. Gary wondered if Fred Schneider heard that. Howard said he must be into that.
Howard gave Destiny some more plugs and took a call from a guy who said this was clearly the best Sybian ride so far. He asked for the piece of the Sybian she sat on. Howard said that it's going to be great to watch on Howard TV.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and welcomed Howard back. She said that Simon is treating him like shit after he treated them so well on his show. She told him that he's too good for that show. Howard said he knows that and hung up on Mariann.
Howard took another call from a guy who said it was the best Sybian ride ever. Howard said that's high praise coming from his audience who slams him for everything he does. Howard asked Destiny if Gary or Gange creeped her out the most. She said it was a tie.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked when that video is going to be up on Howard TV. Gange said it should be up by Midnight tomorrow. They went to break after that.
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal and Richard made to a catering service asking for some food for a funeral. Fred also played Led Zeppelin's ''Misty Mountain Top'' as they were coming back from break.
Howard came back and sang along to the Zeppelin song a little bit. He said they should be playing some Love Shack in honor of their next guest. Fred played some of that for Howard. Howard said that Fred Schneider from the B-52s was coming in.
Howard had the guys bring in Fred after that. Howard told Fred about how he wouldn't have been accepted on Idol if he was a contestant. Howard said that's why they need a judge like him on the show. He said he won't boot people just for being different. Howard said they need him on that show.
Howard found out that Fred is friends with Yoko Ono so he asked about that. Fred said Yoko has done some stuff with them on stage and he loves it. Howard said that's great as long as he loves it. Fred said he owns all of her albums.
Howard told Fred that Gary once saw him out shopping one day and he must have bought about 400 albums. Gary said it was a used record store. Fred said he has walls of records. He said he buys albums like that all the time. Some of the stuff he has will never be out on CD so he likes to have it on vinyl. Fred said he spends most of the day listening to music. He said he writes and listens to music almost all day long.
Howard asked Fred about when he came out of the closet. Fred said he knew he was gay but he didn't know what gay was back then. He said he grew up in New Jersey and he didn't know what it was. He said it just came naturally to him. He said that he finally came out to his mother while she was vacuum cleaning and she said ''Oh I knew Freddy.'' He said that he figured he's just go back out and smoke pot after that. Fred said his father passed away when he was 18 so he never knew or maybe he knew and just never discussed it.
Howard asked Fred if he knew he wanted to get into music. Fred said he wanted to learn to play the drums so his father made him learn to play the trumpet first. He said he likes Miles Davis but he didn't want to be a trumpeter. Howard said his parents got him into clarinet when he was a kid. He said he didn't want to play that thing.
Fred said when he was in school someone made up a rumor about him screwing around with a neighbor kid and that was tough for him. He said it was like torture when he was growing up. Howard asked if he had any friends. Fred said he did have a lot of friends. He said one guy insulted his mother so he punched that guy out cold. He said that stopped a lot of the bullying.
Howard asked Fred if he dated girls in school. Fred said he did date them but there was no interest there. He said he never had sex with them. Howard found out that Fred's idol was Soupy Sales so Howard told him that he was his idol too. Fred said he got to meet him but he was already sick at the time. Fred said he used to watch Soupy and Zacherly. Howard did his Zacherly impression and said that was some show.
Howard told Fred about working with soupy at WNBC and how bad things got between them for a while. He didn't want to get into all of the details about that though.
Howard asked Fred about how he got into the music thing. Fred said he used to love writing poetry and parodies of movies. He said that they would write movies starring his family and friends.
Howard asked if he was the leader of the B-52s. Fred said that he and some friends went to a restaurant and a friend's house and they went downstairs and they came up with the name Killer Bees because they had just arrived in Brazil around that time. Fred said that he was a bus boy or a waiter before that. He said that he was also a meals on wheels delivery guy for a while.
Howard asked Fred if it was great to become a great rock star to rub it in people's faces. Fred said that there were people who thought that he'd never be anything and he has proven them wrong. Howard said his mother must love that. Fred said she loves it and she even signs autographs at shows.
Robin asked how he ended up down south in Georgia. Fred said he wanted to get away from New Jersey so he moved down there to study forestry. He said they were across the street from the chicken farms and they were down wind from that so he changed courses and took some creative writing courses.
Howard asked Fred how they came up with the B-52s name. Fred said they were jamming and they were asked what the name of the band was going to be. Fred said they came up with B-52s based on the hair styles they had at the time since they looked like nose cones.
Howard asked if they all wrote the songs together. Fred said they all did. Howard said that you almost have to be mentally ill to risk your life trying to become a rock star. Fred said that down in Athens's it was very cheap to live so you didn't have to work too hard.
Howard said that people must have thrown things at them when they would play their music at some of the shows they were doing. Fred said they were very open down there to their music so it wasn't that bad.
Howard said that their first hit was ''Rock Lobster'' and played some of that. Fred said that was an independent release they did. Howard asked how many record companies turned them down. Fred said that they didn't get turned down that much actually. Fred said they were asked to play a public show in front of about 17 people and it was on a Monday night in December. They got paid like $51 to play that show. Fred said they thought that was going to be it and never even thought to ask if they wanted them to come back.
Fred said they sent their song out to record stations and then started playing some clubs and they built up a following. Fred said that things snowballed and they still went broke. Fred said he was ripped off but he ended up getting everything back. He said that came later on though.
Howard asked if they made money touring. Fred said they did after they made Cosmic Thing. Howard asked if he had a lot of sex and drugs. Fred said he had a lot of pot. He said that the other stuff wasn't for him. He said even the pot was getting too strong for him.
Howard asked Fred if he's in a relationship. Fred said he has been in a relationship for a long time. He said their fans don't want to have sex with them anyway. He said they just want to be their friends. Howard said he was feeling something between them.
Howard asked Fred why they're not in the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Fred said that he's not sure because they've influenced a lot more people than many of the other bands. Howard said that John Lennon once said he was inspired to record more songs after hearing ''Rock Lobster.'' Fred said that they actually did record more after that.
Howard asked Fred what happened with him and SIRIUS. Fred said that they had some budget cuts there and they had to let him go. He said he was really into his show and he had a guest every week that turned out to be Madison every week. Fred said he wrote all of his copy and he was buying all of the records that he was playing. He said that he was buying records for 10 cents each. He said he would play things that aren't out on CD. Fred said that he wasn't even that expensive but they told him they weren't going to renew his contract there.
Howard asked Fred who wrote Rock Lobster. Fred said he wrote the lyrics but they've all written songs and they all share it equally and that's what makes it work. He said that they take turns doing things. Fred said he doesn't have enough money to retire but he's comfortable. He said they're still together as a group. They don't have a publicist though. He said they can't afford that. Fred said they do 50-60 shows a year and they have a live album they're mixing now.
Fred told Howard how tough things are now in the music industry. He said that they have a good fan base so they can go out and tour a lot. They're able to survive doing that since music gets released for free out there these days.
Howard asked Fred what's going on with the rest of the band. Fred filled him in on what everyone is up to. Howard asked why he started this new band. Fred said he turned some people on to lounge music and tiki music and that's what he likes to listen to. He said that the band is called The Superions. Howard asked how many people are in the band. Fred said it's 3 people but it's all electronic stuff.
Howard played some of the new music from The Superions and Fred said that it's all tongue in cheek stuff. Howard gave him some plugs for the new album and said that you can get more info at Myspace.com/TheSuperions.
Howard told Fred that he does some Avant Garde music himself. He told Fred (Norris) to find him some of that stuff to play for Fred. He wasn't able to find it in the system very quickly. Howard said that Fred might be the only guy to understand the music. Gary came in and said that he had it available on his preview page.
Howard played the song called ''Home'' that he and the guys recorded several years ago. Fred said he actually liked it. Howard said it's about time he found someone who understands his music. Fred told him to put it out on Amazon and he'd have it up there in a minute. Howard played some of ''Home 2'' and some other songs that they created. Fred said he's heard records like that and they're serious.
Howard asked Fred where he lives now. Fred said he lives in New York City and out on Long Island. Howard said he's proud of him. Fred said he's proud of his music and he wanted a copy. He said that sounded like him on the trumpet playing in the song.
Howard gave Fred some plugs for the new album and Fred said that they have a vinyl version coming out soon. Howard said he didn't even know people were still playing vinyl. Fred said that a lot of kids are buying vinyl these days. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and sang along to the song for a short time. He wondered what happened to that band. Robin said she thinks they're still around. Howard said they probably made a bunch of dough and they just hang out in Hawaii now or something. Howard said it should have been ''Give it away Hey Now'' and had Fred playing ''Hey Now'' clips during the song.
Robin said something about moving to Hawaii and becoming a photographer and that led to Howard going off on photographers that think that they're ''artists'' when they're not doing anything that hard.
Howard said he saw the Tiger Woods press conference the other day. He said Tiger is a big wiener. He said that they kept him away from the press so he wasn't even in the same room with them. He said it looked like Tiger didn't want to be a part of the whole thing. He said it was weird that the camera went out at one point. He said it appears he didn't bother rehearsing the reading before he did it.
Howard said he's not sure why the wife is staying with Tiger. Robin said that Tiger is living in rehab right now so they're not even living together. Howard said Tiger's mother was sitting in the front row and she looked like she wanted to vomit. Howard said that he expected Tiger to break out and say that the reason he hates women so much is because of that look on her face. Howard said he's probably paying his mother's rent and she's giving him that look. Howard said that's the face Tiger has to see when he fucks any of those bimbo's. Robin asked what she's supposed to look like. Howard said she should smile. Robin didn't think that was right.
Howard said meanwhile Tiger's parents had him playing golf every minute of his childhood. He's got to be angry about that. Robin said that he did say that during the press conference. He said that he went out to have some fun after working so hard his whole life.
Howard said Tiger may not have ever gone to school because he wasn't able to read the notes he had. Howard said that all of these women are fighting over his money and he must think he's King Tut. Howard said he must see that he's no beauty.
Howard said that mother's look on her face was something else. He said that she was looking at him like he had fucked everything up. Howard said she looks like a vomit. He said that Tiger should throw her out of the house he bought her.
Howard went off on Tiger for fucking everything up. He said he had it made and people were begging to give him money to sponsor him.
Howard played some of the press conference and said that Tiger didn't need notes to make a speech. He said he should have just come out and spoken like a normal person. Howard gave Tiger some suggestions on what he should have done in the speech. He said he didn't need to bring up the Buddhism thing. Howard said that he probably lies about everything anyway.
Howard played the clip where Tiger talked about the Buddhism thing. Tiger said his mother taught him that when he was a young boy.
Howard said that some of the mistresses got together and said they wanted an apology form him too. Howard said maybe they should be apologizing to Tiger's family for sleeping with a married man. Howard said that they knew he was married.
Howard played more of the Buddhist clips and goofed on Tiger for a few more minutes about all of that stuff. Howard did an impression of what Tiger could have said in the speech. He said that could have been some speech if he had done it the way he was thinking he could have.
Howard played more of the press conference and goofed on the way Tiger was reading. He was having trouble getting through the speech. Howard was doing an impression of his wife going off on Tiger too. He ended up slipping into a Kennedy impression during that. He did that for a couple of minutes.
Howard and Robin were talking about the stuff Tiger was mentioning in the press conference. Howard would play a few seconds of Tiger and then go off on him. He was making fun of the monotone read he was doing and saying that his writing wasn't all that great and it was kind of like a Bar Mitzvah speech.
Howard did some Bar Mitzvah speeches and goofed on the whole idea. He said that he wasted his time learning that wacky religion and the kooky language.
Howard said that Tiger should be more like Larry King and not be so ashamed of what he did. He said that he should kick his mother out of the room too. He did an impression of Tiger's mother that sounded oddly like his own mother. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard said he thinks that Kevin was into his 17th year of fake laughing and it was causing bleeding. He said the vomit got to be too much for him.
Robin said she read some headlines about the show and she thought Stuttering John was gone but they were just saying he's not returning to the announcer's spot. Robin said maybe they should go back to all of the original elements though.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Robin going to Santa Monica during vacation. A staffer there saw Robin out there. Robin said the story sounded funny to her.
Steve said a fan saw Stuttering John in an airport and he was alone and looking kind of sad and disheveled. Fred said that's his typical look.
Steve said that a lawsuit against the Kinison estate has been settled. Sam's wife Malika had filed suit saying that Sam's brother Bill had forged some documents. Details of the settlement were not released.
Steve said that Tracey Millman is hosting another edition of her show tonight on Howard 101 at 7pm. Steve also got in some plugs for Greg Fitzsimmons show which is on at Midnight tonight.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon ran down some of the things they were going to discuss today and mentioned Fred Schneider liking the Avant Garde music they played today. Howard said Fred reminds him of DJ Meg Griffin. He said that Fred is like the male version of Meg with the way he likes that wacky music he listens to. They played some of the Mrs. Miller stuff they were talking about in that interview. Howard said they should put out some Ed Torian or Underdog Lady music. Jon finished up his Wrap Up Show preview after that.
Howard had Robin get to her news. Robin said that they have renamed a mountain in California from Negro head Mountain to Ballard Mountain. Howard said he didn't think that the name Negro head was that bad. Robin said it was even more vulgar than that originally.
Robin read about Conan O'Brien and how he's got to sit out for a while before going back to work. He's now thinking about going out on a tour. Howard said he did some of that when he was starting out but it was the biggest mistake. Howard said he hated that.
Howard said there was a guy at the Knick game the other night and Gary was there. Gary was picking his nose at the game and this guy had a picture of it. Gary said he hasn't been to a Knick game in forever. Howard wondered where the picture came from then. Gary said he was at a college basketball game up in Connecticut. Howard asked Gary why he would do that at a game. Gary said he wasn't even thinking. Howard said he never has his thumb up his nose in pictures. Gary said he didn't even realize he was doing it.
Howard said Gary was there with his kids too. He showed Robin the picture but she wasn't able to see it very well. Howard said she'd vomit if she saw it. Howard said Gary looked so angry picking it out of there too. Howard showed Robin the picture larger and she let out an ''Ohhh!'' when she saw it. Howard said they used the booger as a basketball once he got it out. Gary said there were maybe 80 people in the whole arena when he did that.
Robin got back to her news and read some stuff about the Tiger Woods press conference. She said the mistresses were commenting on the whole thing and now the PGA commissioner is taking the blame for the timing of the speech.
Howard said he saw Ross Zapin out there with Gary. He said he and Ross went out on Friday night right when they went on vacation. He said that Robin's boyfriend Benicio joined them at dinner. Howard said they had a little dinner with him. Howard said Ross has known him for a long time. Ross knows him through a friend.
Howard said Beth came out to dinner with them even though it was a boy's night out kind of thing. Gary said that Howard is ''that guy'' who brings the wife out on a boy's night out. Howard said he had to go home anyway so he had her stop by to say hello. Howard said she had never met Benicio before so he had her stop by. Howard said he and the guys all split the bill. He said Ross isn't used to that.
Howard said they went up to the Boom Boom room together. No one was there though. Howard said Benicio got into a fight with a guy in front of him. He said that Benicio wanted to smoke a cigarette and ended up arguing with the waiter. He said Benicio is a handful. He said he was going to light up in front of the guy. Howard asked how the Wolfman did. Ross said it did $37 million the first weekend so it did good. Howard said that Benicio ended up putting out his cigarette because there are strict laws there in New York. He said he thought he was going to break out into a fight. Howard said Ross went to the bathroom and he thought Benicio was going to get into a fight. He said he wasn't going to have his back if he had.
Robin got back to her news and read some more about the Tiger Woods press conference. She went through some of the stuff he brought up during that press conference.
Robin read some news about the Olympics and how a luge runner had died on the course. Robin said that she didn't realize that they do as much as they do on those things. She said that the guy ended up hitting a big metal pole when he flew off the course. Robin read about the mother of one of the Olympian's dying while visiting Vancouver. Howard said he was sorry to hear that.
Robin read about a woman who was hit by a tire at Firebird International Raceway and killed over the weekend.
Howard did a quick live commercial for AshleyMadison.com during the news. He was promoting the upcoming Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant.
Robin got back to her news and read about a fashion designer who killed himself. She said he was found in an Armoire after he hanged himself. Robin said his mother died and he was found dead four days after that. Howard said the guy was quite a genius from what Beth told him.
Robin read about the guy who flew his plane into an IRS building while they were on vacation. Robin read the details about the guy burning down his home and flying his plane into the building. Robin said she's not sure what the death toll was. Howard said it was a couple of people from what he read. Robin didn't have the details. Robin had the wrong details about the guy who flew his plane into the building. She was reading about another guy who had bulldozed his house and got them confused. Robin read that this guy Joe Stack was saying that nothing changes unless there's a body count so that's why he flew the plane into the building.
Robin said they're looking for this guy Andrew Koenig who played Boner on Growing Pains. Howard said he's the son of Walter Koenig. He said he didn't know that. The guy has been missing since the 16th of February. Robin said friends have been posting pictures and stories on Twitter trying to find more information. Robin said that he hasn't been seen since and people are worried.
Howard said he digs that Walter Koenig guy. He said he was on Star Trek and he liked him on Battlestar Galactica too. Howard said they had him on the radio show too. Howard said he didn't know that his son played Boner.
Robin read some news about Glenn Beck who was talking about being a recovering alcoholic at this conference he was at. Robin had some clips from that speech and Howard sarcastically said that sounds like a real fun event.
Howard had some audio from that event where someone else was talking about being against gays being invited to the event and he was getting booed by a bunch of people in the audience.
Robin went through a bunch of other stories and had some audio clips to play from various things that were going on.
Howard found out that Fred went to see Avatar in 2D instead of 3D. Fred can't see 3D stuff so he brought his wife to see it there. Fred said that the glasses don't do anything for him and he preferred to see it in 2D. Howard thought that was wrong for him to make his wife see it in 2D. Howard said that the 3D is the coolest part of the movie. Fred said he doesn't think that the film should win an award for the movie itself but maybe for the technical aspects of it.
Robin read that James Cameron and his ex-wife are both nominated for their movies in the Academy Awards this year. Robin said the wife seems to be winning the preliminary awards.
Robin said that tonight's episode of CSI Miami was directed by Rob Zombie and they're saying it's edgier than usual and getting good reviews.
Robin said that Pete Townshend is having trouble with his hearing and he may have to stop doing shows. She said that The Who may be done.
Robin read about the new movie ''The Crazies'' and had some audio clips from some of the stars of the movie. Howard didn't last long during those. Robin had some Shutter Island box office results. She said that it pulled in $40 million this weekend. She had some audio of Sir Ben Kingsley talking about working with Leonardo DiCaprio. Howard didn't make it through more than 15 seconds of that before cutting it off. Howard said the studios spend tons of money recording this crap and no one plays the clips other than them and they goof on them. Howard tried to figure out what the hell Kingsley was talking about in the clip and he had no clue what it was about.
Robin said that Angelina Jolie and her dad have reconciled again. Howard said they're wacky. He said they're constantly making up and fighting. Robin said they were photographed together walking the kids and Brad Pitt around in Venice. They ended the show a short time later, right around 11:00am.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to know why they pick on JD so much. He said that Ashley doesn't want anything to do with the guy and they're just goofing on him. Gary said they love JD and they're not goofing on him. Gary said that last Thursday she just went out with him. He said that he's seen guys wear chicks down before so it's not out of the question. Gary said Al Roker was friends with his wife before he married her. He was doing all kinds of weird shit trying to win her over and he eventually did.
Jon asked Gary what he thinks JD should do with the 5 grand they have for him. Gary said they need to figure out what it is she likes so JD can figure out what to do with her. Gary said JD doesn't know what she likes right now. Gary said if she likes Lady Gaga maybe he could get her front row tickets to a concert or something like that. Jon said that she's been wined and dined over the years so maybe that's what he needs to do.
JD came in and said that he's not sure that Ashley wants to be impressed by him. Gary said that it's not what she wants, he has to impress her. JD said he can't force it though. Gary told JD that there are guys who have worn down hot chicks and it might take some work on his part. JD said he's putting in what he can but he has to talk to her about why things are the way they are. Gary told him not to do that.
JD said he has to find out if she's not attracted to him or what. He said she just wants to be friends right now. Gary said that's going to give her an out though. Gary told JD he has some money to do some work to do something he wouldn't usually be able to do on his own. He said it's not even about impressing her.
Benjy said he liked the idea of taking Ashley somewhere that they'd be alone or just fish out of water. He said that maybe they'd have to rely on each other to get through it. He said that would work for both of them because they'd have to work together. He said that might bring them closer.
Benjy asked the guys if they would be impressed if a Susan Boyle did something like they want JD to do with Ashley. Gary said that's taking it to the extreme. JD said that he could be Susan Boyle to Ashley though. He doesn't know for sure.
JD said that when Ashley texted him back she told him why she hadn't gotten in touch with him sooner. JD said that she was just looking to be friends. JD said he invited her to the movie after all of that.
Gary asked JD how it got on SternFanNetwork by Thursday afternoon that he had taken her to the movie. JD had no idea. Jim McClure said that someone had seen them out together.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that this Ashley Dupre thing is taking the wrong angle. He said that this girl has been paid to go on extravagant dates to have sex with guys. He said it would be like Ashley taking advantage of JD. He thinks that he should try it with another girl that's out of his league. Gary said that JD could spend the money in a creative way and it could be super romantic and not be something that Ashley is used to. The caller said that she's not interested in JD though and she just wants to be friends. He said this sounds like he's trying to buy her. The caller said that he isn't saying that he should give up on her but this is the wrong girl to be doing the 5 grand thing with.
Jon asked JD if he thinks he has any shot with her at all. JD said he's really not sure. He said that they've only sat down and spoken one time at length. He said that they did that and then this movie so they haven't talked much.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that JD should give up because this girl doesn't want him. He said he should take the 5 grand and try to impress someone else. He said JD has no shot with this girl and this is embarrassing. He said JD is better than this and he should just move on.
Gary said that many love stories have started off on a rocky road. The caller said none of the great love stories have started off like this. Gary said this caller is acting like he knows the girl. The caller said he doesn't have to know her. He said in the real world this girl is no into him.
Jon said there was some chemistry between JD and Ashley and it could lead somewhere. He said you never know and JD has to take his best shot.
Ralph called in and said he didn't see any chemistry. He said he saw JD texting the whole time. Ralph went on to say that Stuttering John was the best at wearing a girl down. He did that with this girl Karen at the channel 9 show. Gary said that John was like Pig Pen from the Charlie Brown cartoons at the time. Gary said it took about a year and John wore that girl down. Ralph said he saw her all the time there though so that helped. Gary said that they found it hard to believe that it worked with Karen. In the beginning she actually asked the producer to keep John away from her.
Ralph told JD that he should take Ashley out to Nobu or something like that. He said JD should do something for himself and have some fun doing it. Ralph said that JD is good at texting and he should stick to that instead of talking. He said he could offer her the rest of the money to bang her.
Ralph said that what Benjy was saying earlier to take her somewhere that they have to rely on one another is a great idea. Jon suggested the Ice Hotel. He said it would be just the two of them and it would be kind of cool. Gary suggested the maze in ''The Shining.'' That got Ralph laughing. He said he just got the visual on that.
Another caller said JD has to stop sweating this girl so much. JD said he's not sweating it and it's everyone else who brings it up. He said he was fine doing whatever it was he was doing before. JD said the money they have for him is a burden on him and that's the way he sees just about everything. Gary said that it does afford him a good opportunity. JD said he doesn't know what to do. He said he wants to make the show happy. Gary stopped him and told him to make himself happy and not worry about the show. He said they're not tugging on him to do something. They just want him to do what he wants to do. JD said he doesn't know what to do, that's the problem.
Jon took a call from a guy who had just heard Gary's ''take me back'' tape for the first time this weekend. He said he can't wait to see what Gary looked like back then.
The caller also asked JD if they're going to hand him the 5 grand. Gary said they are not. They are going to pay for whatever it is that JD wants to do.
The caller was asking JD what he wants to do with this girl in the long run. He asked if he wants to get into her pants. JD said he likes her and he's not looking to just get in her pants. The guy asked JD if he thinks that she's really wroth 5 grand. He said that she seems like she's got her head up her ass. He said that she seems high maintenance. The guy said he doesn't know if she really is but that's the way she came off to him.
Gary said he has dealt with Ashley and he thinks that she's a sweet, intelligent kid. He said that he's not attracted to her but he does think that she's cute. JD said he's not looking to just bang her and get out of there.
Benjy said that JD should write a movie and use the 5 grand to film it. It would star Ashley and JD. Gary said that was a great way to spend the money and he could spend a month doing it. They could do a documentary about her as a musician or something too.
JD said he doesn't think that he's in love with her. He said he spends time talking to other girls too. Gary said he can't even commit to his dream girl. JD said he doesn't know anything right now and he's tired of talking about this. Jon said they had to take a break anyway so that's what they did.
Ralph called in and said that he has a good idea for JD. He said he should trow a party for Ashley and invite her and some friends over. He said he could pick through her friends instead of her. Ralph said he can get everyone drunk and pick from one of them. He said the key is getting them drunk. JD said he's not good at parties because he doesn't go out. JD said that he has never really had a normal relationship with a girl for a long time. Ralph said Ashley is perfect for him then.
The guys talked about how JD could throw a party but JD said he's just not good at that. He said he could do a karaoke type thing because he likes doing that. Then he said he could do a beer pong thing but Ralph quickly shot that idea down.
Jon asked if Robin was caught up in the magic wand stories. Gary said she's talked about it before so there wasn't anything new today about that.
Jon asked about the panty stuffing thing too. Gary said that they had a guy call the show asking for Robin's panties once. Howard made Robin play along with it and they went out and bought the biggest panties they could find and he put skid marks in it and then into a container for like a week drenched in vinegar. Then they sent it to the guy. He said the guy figured it out right away.
JD said he never got that panty sniffing thing. Gary said they have another person there who might be an expert in that. Jon said if that person wants to come down he can.
Jon told Gary that Destiny said that Gary and Gange tied for creeping her out the most. Gary said he didn't hear that. He said that she didn't even see him because he had the mask on the whole time. He called her a bitch for saying that about him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that JD should take that money and pay her to go out with him for a month and that will get all of the other girls interested in him. Gary said that was the script from ''Can't Buy Me Love.'' The caller said that's exactly what he was saying. JD said this isn't high school so that might not work. He said it is an idea though.
Sal said he thinks that apology was bullshit and Tiger should just leave his wife. Gary asked Sal if he thinks that his parents should have split up. Sal said that if his mom and ever told his father to fuck himself, his father would have taken a rolling pin to his mother.
Sal said that Tiger Woods is full of crap about his wife not chasing him around. He said that he's not going to admit to her doing that to him.
Jon asked Sal if he thinks that Tiger was putting on the right voice for that apology. Sal said he did think he put that on the right way and he was just trying to put on that somber voice for the whole thing. Sal said that's how he expected him to act. He had nothing to be sincere about so that's why he read it the way he did.
Jon asked Sal about the panty stuffing thing and if he knew anything about that. Sal said he didn't but then he said that it was stuffing them and then chewing on them. They never said anything about chewing on them. Sal said he used to be interested in that kind of thing when he was a kid and he was curious. He said the thing at Mutt's house was a joke and he regrets doing that. Jon said that kind of thing sticks with you for a long time. Sal said it does but it was just a joke and he wasn't really doing it. Sal said that they had a fun time there at the house that night.
Jon asked Gary what the controversy is about the shower that Robin is throwing. Gary said that he's not sure because there are some people who are going. He said his wife is going to be there. Gary said that most showers are on the weekend and maybe Robin didn't want to do it on the weekend.
Jon asked Sal what he thinks about that. Sal said ''no comment'' because he doesn't want her coming in his office tomorrow beating him down. Jon said it's inconsiderate to throw a party like that during the week like that. He said that no one can make it to a party during the week at noon.
Jon said that Sal sounded down while he was saying that. He asked if he was down about something. Sal said that he's not but Valentine's day was kind of rocky. He said that he had a couple of drinks and she told him that he becomes an irritable drunk. He said that she told him that she was going to tell him to fuck off if he got out of hand. Sal said things went okay that night and he got some action but didn't finish so he gave him a hard time the next morning. He said she told him not to drink so much next time. He said things went okay other than that. They had a nice dinner that night. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how he was listening to some things they might get to today. He said that Tracey Millman was going at it with Scott the Engineer last night. He said she was on fire. Robin said she heard the promo for the show and she had a whole list of people she has a problem with. Howard said he's happy with Scott but not Tracey.
Howard said Scott was very civil and handled himself very well. Scott was kind of laughing it off. He said he was inspired that he was able to sit there calmly the way he did. Howard said he must have been trying to be a gentleman. Howard said it was a smart move and he wishes he was able to do that himself.
Howard said he gets crazy when he gets into an argument and he has to win. Robin said that's they way Donald Trump and Rosie were.
Howard said he has been getting into it over the American Idol thing and he can't stop if he doesn't win the argument. He said he never even said he was going to do Idol and just said he'd be interested if they were willing to pay him $100 million for 4 months of work. He said he has done worse. He said he has worked cleaning toilets and things in his life. He said he's pretty sure anyone would take a job judging a contest for that kind of money.
Howard said Ellen Degeneres is pissing on his parade and she's probably jealous because she took some low pay to do that show. He said she could just keep her mouth shut. He said if she wants to quit then just quit and keep her mouth shut. Howard said she should say that it's not up to her who they hire.
Howard said a bunch of people forwarded him the guest list for Jay Leno's first week on the air. He said he got a gift from the producer of The Bachelor and it was a couple of Jay Leno magazine covers that were kind of funny. He said he's kind of creeped out by Jay coming back. He said maybe people are tired of him and he won't last.
Howard said Leno does that long monologue and people seem to like that. He said that Kevin Eubanks is leaving the show and he thinks that maybe, just maybe he's leaving because he's sick of Jay. He said he hopes that's what it is but he's really not sure. Howard said the guy hardly gets to speak on that show though. He's not sure why they have to address the band leader anyway. He said Dave barely lets Paul Shaffer say anything on his show.
Howard said he wants to hate the people that are going on Jay's show. He read the list of people who are due to do the show. Robin said that maybe Simon Cowell will bring Howard up. Howard said Jay will knock him through Simon in some way on his show. Jay doesn't have the balls to do it himself.
Howard said that these people like Simon, Kara and Ellen have such big egos and they shouldn't because the show is losing ratings. Howard said they think it's hard to be a judge and it's really not. Howard said Simon was saying he doesn't think he's qualified. Howard said everyone is qualified to do that job. Howard said people can watch from season to season and pick out who is good or bad. Howard said Simon is an Englishman who is judging a contest for an ''American'' idol. Howard said this ugly guy has a pretty spectacular career and he's pushed people in the business to get them going. He said he's qualified.
Howard said Simon said that Perez Hilton is qualified but he does the same basic thing that he's doing. Howard said Perez just does it on the web and he does it on the radio. Howard said he has an interesting opinion so he is qualified to do the job.
Howard and Robin talked about some of the people they picked on Idol and how awful some of them have turned out to be. Howard said they're no more qualified than he is. Howard said that Jennifer Hudson is a huge star and she wasn't even picked to win the show.
Howard said it pisses him off when he reads these articles about how ugly he is and how bad he'd be. Howard said there are plenty of people who are just as qualified as the judges on that show. Howard said Ellen couldn't judge any talent. He said that she fired a head writer back in 2000 and the same guy won two Emmy's for writing Arrested Development a few years later. Howard said then Ellen started dating Portia De Rossi who was on that show and she got interested in the writing on that show all of a sudden. That's the rumors he's heard anyway.
Howard said they had an intern there who said that they were told not to look Ellen in the eye while working for her show. He said that he's not sure if that's true or not. He said he actually doesn't have anything against Ellen and he's actually backed her in the past. He said that there's something odd about her though. He said she has those bug eyes when she's looking at the contestants on the show.
Howard said that from what he's read they have offered him $100 million to do the show. He said that if that was true then he's going to think about how he'd be doing it. He'd basically be telling the contestants they're either good or bad. That's it. He may have to come up with some witty lines too but that's it. He said that Ellen should keep her mouth shut and let him get the job if he was actually going to get it. Howard said she's trying to ruin it for him by threatening to quit.
Howard said he feels bad for Ellen who has this whole identity confusion going on. He said she's always in man pants and a vest. He suspects that her problems are a lot deeper than the pants thing. He said he imagines that she straps on for Portia but he's just imagining that. Howard said he's fascinated with that and he would ask her about that kind of stuff on the show if he got on Idol. He said he would ask her about that stuff right before they go to air. He imagined what that would be like.
Howard said he bets that Ellen straps on and then puts a condom on it so she can pretend it's a real cock. He said that she probably tells Portia she doesn't want to get her pregnant so she puts the condom on.
Howard said he doesn't wish Ellen any ill will. He said if she wanted a job he would never say anything about her to stop her from getting it. He said that's what she's doing to him.
Robin said that the TMZ people have been saying that no one has attributed this to Ellen. Howard said they have quoted Ellen saying that she doesn't want him on the show. Robin said that they have said it wasn't her directly though.
Howard took a call from a woman who said he has to stop with the American Idol talk. She said that no one cares about the Idol thing. She said she just wants him to stop talking about it. Howard said he thinks it's the greatest thing ever. The caller said it's Howard missing Artie Lange and just talking about this stuff over and over. She said that she loves Howard but she's not one of these people who pays monthly and she paid for a lifetime subscription and she doesn't even know what's going on with Artie.
Howard told the woman to fuck off and told her to cancel. She told him to do the audience a favor and tell them what's going on. Howard said he can piss on his audience if he wants to. He told her to call up like a human being and ask for an update on Artie and not threaten him. He said she could have asked nicely but he might not even have an update on Artie.
Howard said that this woman, Dina, has a voice like a seal. He told her to go listen to something else and leave him alone. He said he's no fan of her's and he wants her to cancel. He said he doesn't want her listening in this club anymore. He wants to cancel her subscription himself. He said he'll give her the money back to get her off his fucking line. The caller said that she would take that money back. Howard said that he doesn't care. He told her to smash her radio and her head under the tire of her car.
Howard said that he doesn't even know what's going on with Artie and he doesn't have an update. He said Artie has problems and they probably stem from women like her. Howard had to hang up on the woman and said that he's ready to leave that place now. He said he just wants it to end.
Howard said this is all making him nuts. He said he's done dealing with assholes. Howard told the woman that they have plenty of shows there to listen to. He said that she can go listen to the morning Mash Up or whatever. He said they can listen to Opie and Anthony or Bubba in the afternoon. He just wants her to leave him alone. Howard said he doesn't care if she listens to his show or not.
Howard went off on the woman for a few minutes and said that there is no Artie update. He said he has no news and no clue about what's going on with Artie. He said he hopes he recovers and doesn't want to take his own life. He said he feels he's missing out on a lot of stuff in his life and he needs help.
Howard asked Gary if he has any Artie updates. He said he knows he's heard rumors but that's all they are. Howard asked what that woman really thinks he'd have on Artie. He said that Artie needs his privacy right now and he's not sure what she expects him to say. He said that voice was cutting right through him so he couldn't talk to her anymore.
Gary said that he knows a woman who feels it's her duty to blow her man a couple of times a week because he's providing for her.
Gary said he does have an Artie update but he's not going to talk about it on the air. He said his family wants to keep it quiet and that's what he's going to do. Gary said that Artie is doing his very best and that's all he's going to say. Howard said that means that Artie is probably not really doing his very best.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he was calmed down now. The caller said he was done with the Idol talk until that woman called in and now he wants to talk about it even more.
The caller brought up the Idol thing again and said that Simon is saying Howard isn't a good looking guy but Randy isn't good looking either. He said that Simon is just causing a distraction.
Howard said he was done with Idol talk now. He took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she loves hearing anything Howard talks about. Howard hung up on her in the middle of that.
The caller, Dina, said that talking about Idol is like nails on a chalkboard. Howard told her she doesn't have to listen. Howard said he had Artie on the phone to talk to Dina. The guys in the back were playing Artie clips of him saying ''I hate you cunt'' and things like that. The woman said her name wasn't even Dina so she's not sure why they told him that.
Dina told Howard that they should take a poll and ask about the Idol discussions. Howard said he doesn't run the show that way. The guys kept playing the Artie clips and kept calling her a cunt. Dina asked if she could get her refund or a tour of the studio. Howard asked her how she looks. She didn't get to answer before the guys played some more Artie clips where he was saying she's probably a fat pig.
Howard asked what she looks like. She said she's ''thick'' in all the right places. She said she weighs 135 pounds. Howard asked if that's a lie. She said that she's not emaciated like Beth is. Then she took that back and said that Beth is actually beautiful so she takes that back.
Howard asked Dina what she looks like. She said she looks like herself. Howard said she has to say that she looks kind of like someone. He asked if she looks like the girl in Precious. Artie clips said that he looks like Precious.
Dina said she's been told she looks like Juliette Lewis. Howard said that she's a good looking woman so that's a good thing. Howard said at least she got to hear Artie today. Artie clips were telling her to go die.
Dina asked Howard if she's going to get her money back. Howard said he's not giving her the money back. She said that her radio died and she can't even listen.
Dan the Song Parody Man called in and said that this woman is saying that she was bamboozled into paying a lifetime subscription but the money she paid was paid for after 4 years. She said that she just subscribe in November. Howard cut them both off and said he's done with this conversation. He doesn't care.
Howard played some of the audio of Tracey yelling at Scott on ''Happy Hour'' last night. This is the show that JD is on too. In the clip Tracey was talking about how Scott has a very low tolerance for work and he's very lazy. She said that Scott will ask for a CD that she has to get from Howard's office and 5 months later she'll ask for it back and Scott won't know where it is and he won't look for it. She said that she'll go into his office and find it and she's able to find it every time. She said Scott is always busy working on his son's CD. Tracey said that Tim puts up with that stuff and if she was his boss he'd be out of there really fast.
Tracey said that Scott makes everyone work for him. She said that there are people there putting stuff into the system all the time and Scott never bothers doing any of it. He does nothing during the day and he won't help anyone else out there. She was also saying that he uses her corporate card when he's not supposed to.
Howard said Scott was livid hearing that but he wasn't going to call in. Then he had to call in. JD took the call from Scott and Scott was in a chipper mood. He said he loves the way Tracey talks about people. Tracey said that they got into a 20 minute argument about the credit card thing. Howard said that the card was expired and he didn't know that. He's supposed to check with her about stuff like that.
In the clip Tracey was going off on Scott about the card and how the card is under her name and under her social security number so she has to deal with that. She said Scott should have asked her before using her shit without her permission. Scott was staying pretty calm during the rant.
Howard said Tracey is a firecracker and a natural on the radio. He said that was some interesting radio there. He said radio is an empty vacuum and you have to fill it with good stuff like that. He said she should do her show from a bar or something.
Howard played another clip where Tracey was going off on Scott for not being a hard worker. Scott said that he is a hard worker and he does a lot there. Tracey said that he's not a hard worker and he has recommended an intern to fill in for him before to do his job while he was out. Scott said that was just to fill in for a few things and not his whole job.
Howard said that Tracey was making some good points in that but he's not sure who is right in that. He took a call from a guy who said that Tracey is a cunt. He said that her voice cuts through him like steel. He said that she does make some good points about Scott though. Another caller said that Tracey is radio gold. He said that she's hysterical. She talks like she's been on radio for years. He said she's a natural.
Howard played some more of the audio and Scott was saying that he's not a secretary. Tracey said he's not but he should put the information from what he records into a database. She said it takes an extra 5 minutes a day to do that and it's not going to kill him. She said that he could be a team player. She said that he could help out the team doing that and he's earning six fucking figures so he should be helping out. Scott said she doesn't know what he makes there. Tracey said that she's heard Scott bitch about stuff there and how much he gets paid. She said she knows he felt like he was getting a raw deal. Scott asked her if she would like more money for what she does. Tracey said she would but Scott was the one who brought it up. Scott said she brought it up saying he was lazy and not working for his money.
Howard said Ronnie says Scott complains every minute back there but he's not even aware that he's complaining. He had one last clip to play after that.
In the next clip Tracey was going off on Scott about not putting stuff into the database. She said that Scott doesn't bother to look for those CDs she asks him for and she has to go in there and find them herself. She said she gets hounded about stuff and she has to go in there and find it. Tracey told him to clean up his mess in there because she has to go look for it. She said that if he has a problem with her going through his stuff then he should bring it up with Howard because it's all Howard's stuff. Scott said he knows exactly what's in there. Tracey said he doesn't know because she goes in there and finds the stuff that he isn't able to find. Scott and Tracey were going at each other right up to the end of the show. They had 5 seconds left and JD had to end it while the two of them were still yelling.
Howard said he's not sure how Scott stayed calm so long. He asked how he did that because Scott snaps on him within seconds. They played some audio of Scott yelling at Howard after his push-up challenge. Scott came in and said that he didn't want to go to a place that would make him crazy so he just stayed calm. Howard said a lot of guys say they are afraid of Tracey. Scott said he's not going to go there when people throw out lies about him. He said he's tired of it and he just wants to get along with people. Scott said everyone there bitches and moans about stuff. It's not just him.
Scott said he doesn't like her going through his shit back there either. He said that it's his work space and he doesn't appreciate that. Scott said he knows everything that's in there and Tracey shouldn't be going through it.
Howard said that Tracey is still not talking to Benjy. Benjy said that she's very bitchy to him without talking to him. Howard said he heard that she said she wasn't going to treat him nicely. Scott said he's just trying to be positive and stay calm during that kind of thing because it's just not worth it. He said he does work hard and he does bitch and moan but he's trying to get better with that. Howard asked if he's in therapy or something. He said he's in self therapy. Scott said it's not good for him to get so upset. Howard said he's like Buddha now.
Scott said he held back in that call last night. He said if she wants to rant and rave then fine. He said that Tracey doesn't work 8 hours straight. He said everyone has down time there. He said they could find something to complain about with anyone there. He said that JD works very hard though. Howard said JD works and eats at the same time though. Scott said that is true so that's why he said that he was the hardest working guy there.
Howard let Scott go and said that Tracey was really laying it on him last night. He said that she wasn't able to crack him though. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and wondered what song he was hearing. Fred told him what it was so he listened to heard Fergie sounding like a black woman when she's rapping. He tuned in at the wrong time because he had just missed her singing. He said he didn't like this song so much. He said maybe it will grow on him but he wasn't liking it so far.
Howard said they came out with a new ''We Are The World'' and Gary said it was horrible. robin said she hadn't heard it. Howard said he heard that the singers are kind of shitty scrub types. Gary said that they had Jennifer Hudson who was kind of good but other than that there were no legendary people in it. They were also singing in Autotune so that was annoying.
Howard played the song and as soon as it started Robin said she didn't like it. Howard said he liked the beginning of it. Then the singing starts and this Justin Bieber is singing. Gary said the kid is 15 years old. Howard tried to figure out who was singing after that. He said that the original version had a video so they could see them all. Fred said this song sounds like it was all cut together when the original had everyone singing in the studio together.
Howard said this song wasn't fun. He didn't know who it was singing. They had Michael Jackson's original version singing and Janet is in the video and Gary said you can't tell who is who.
Howard said he got the DVD of that final Michael Jackson movie and watched it. He said he's not a big fan of his music but the DVD is fascinating. He said he got an appreciation for what he did. Howard said it was a really good DVD. Robin said that it got very redundant after a while though. Howard said he bailed out after about an hour. Robin said she walked out after about an hour when she went to see it. She said she knew that he was talented and always thought that. Howard said he didn't.
Howard talked about the ugly outfits that Michael wore. He said it was a military thing with sequins on it and it was just weird. He said the whole thing was fascinating to watch.
Howard talked about some of the outfits that Michael was wearing in the movie. He had a list of the stuff that they were auctioning off. He said that they also have an auction for the Paul McCartney bass and it was starting at $5,000. Gary said it will probably go for about 10 grand. He figures that Howard's would sell for about twice what it sells for in the auction because he autographed it and gave it to Howard personally.
Howard went through the list of things that are being auctioned off in this auction he was reading about. They had stuff from a bunch of musicians like Jackson, James Brown, Elvis and more. Howard said there was nothing in there that he'd want.
Howard got back to the ''We Are The World'' song and Gary told Howard who was singing as they went along. Howard said he doesn't like Barbra Streissand but her voice was good in that song. Howard said she's very annoying in the way she sings. Robin did an impression of her for Howard. Howard said he's not sure why people get excited about her. Howard went through the song and had Gary telling him who was singing. Gary didn't even know who some of them were. Howard lost interest around that time. He told Gary to write down everyone who is in there and then he'd play it. He said that's the way to do it. He said that they have to go by what Tracey suggests and have some preparation.
Howard asked Benjy why he can't just be with her and enjoy it. Benjy said that he doesn't want to be monogamous even though he is being that way with her now. He said he still has ''dating'' in him so he's not sure he wants to commit. Howard asked if he's seeing her at all now. Benjy said they were broken up and they decided to become friends. He said that they were up and down throughout the week. Howard said he should have waited until this week when he's back to work. Benjy said they were together last night but they might just be friends. They're trying to figure it all out. He said he wants what's best for her. Robin said she's happy for her.
Howard said that there's something wrong with her in Benjy's mind. That's why he's not committing to her. Benjy said that there are issues that come up and he thinks about the future too much. Benjy said that he was fine going along with it saying that he's not sure he wants to be monogamous. He said that she might not want that in her life. Robin said that he should just date her until he discovers that he wants to be somewhere else. Howard said he doesn't care anymore.
Lisa said they have a story about Robin's bridal/baby shower that she's throwing for Shuli's wife and Richard's fiancee. It's causing some controversy. Howard said he got a lot of email about it. He said that it's being held during the middle of the week from Noon to 3pm. Robin said it wasn't just her. She said that it was Pam Sabean who picked the time.
Howard read through some of the email and people were saying that Robin is a narcissistic bitch for doing it in the middle of the week.
Howard read through some of the other email they got. They had a lot of feedback about the Fred Schneider interview yesterday. There was a lot of positive stuff about him. There was at least one negative email saying it was boring though. Howard had some feedback about his thoughts on the Tiger Woods press conference too. That led to them talking about Tiger Woods and his wife for a short time. They talked about how nutty the wife is for staying with Tiger after what he did.
Howard said that his buddy Pat came up with the idea for Tiger's wife to bang someone else to get back at him. He forgot who it was though. He said that Ralph would be a good one. Howard said it does hurt when someone does that to their spouse. Howard said he hopes to come up with the name by the end of the show.
Lisa said that she and High Pitch Mike were invited to the shower but Steve Langford's was left off the list for some reason. She said that he's been very close with Shuli for the past 4 and a half years. Howard said that Robin is putting this thing together Willie Nillie and she's going to overlook some people. Robin said she didn't know Steve's wife.
Robin said that this was all a suggestion made to her and she thought it was a good idea. She said that she's going to take full responsibility for it. She said that she doesn't know Shuli's wife very well but she knows Richard's fiancee. She said that she could pick her out of a line up and Howard couldn't even do that. Robin said she likes Richard and she likes Shuli so that's why she's doing this.
Lisa said that she was on the red carpet for ''Cop Out'' last night and got some interviews with Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Kelly Ripa and Mark Conseulos and some others. She had some quotes form some of the people she got to interview down there. That led to some American Idol talk.
Howard said that he never got an offer from Idol. He said a few weeks ago he said that he had gotten an offer from a major network, other than FOX, to do a show. He said that he never said he got an offer from Idol. It was a newspaper article that claimed it was American Idol making him the offer. Howard said he's not going to sit there and be a judge on Idol for less than $100 million. He said no one can save that show, not even Jesus.
Howard got sidetracked and said that at one time in history most of the planet was black so they were saying that Jesus was black. Howard said many of the renditions of him looked like Snoop Dogg.
Lisa said that Mark and Kelly don't want Howard to retire. Howard said that he likes those two. Howard said that they're going to be doing this Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant on March 10th and they might have to get Mark in there to judge. He said that they need some big names since the pageant is going to be huge. He said they might have to get Elliot Spitzer in there to be a judge too. Howard said that they have 4 women lined up for the contest and they have $100,000 in prize money to give away thanks to AshleyMadison.com. Lisa suggested Ashley Dupre as a judge. Howard said she might not be big enough.
The guys talked about JD wanting to ask Ashley why she's just friends with him and how wrong that is. Howard said that he has to just ask her to go on a date and if she says no, she says no. He shouldn't be asking her why she just wants to be friends.
Howard said that maybe they should get Governor Patterson to be a judge in the pageant. Howard said the guy needs some attention.
Howard said Benjy had a great idea on the Wrap Up Show. He told JD to take the money and make a movie about Ashley's life. He said he could shoot a pilot for a dating show or do something with her music. Robin said Benjy had that idea to do a video about her music.
Howard asked JD what the update is on this. He said he wants to know if he has any ideas yet. JD came in and said that he spoke to her last night and she had heard everything. JD said that she just wants to be friends. Howard told JD that he's being thick. He said that he's got 5 grand and he could impress her with something and he has to take a shot. He said that he could do a documentary about her music or something. He said that she might get interested in him more. He said she doesn't know him from a hole in the wall right now and she might get to know him better and fall for him.
Howard said that no girl ever wants a guy. He said you have to work it. JD said he doesn't know what to do. Howard told him that Ashley doesn't know him yet and she has to get to know him. They talked about how Stuttering John wore down that girl Karen at the channel 9 show. It took him a year but he was able to do it. Howard said JD has 5 grand do use right now and he has to take advantage of that. JD said he doesn't like this whole spotlight on his personal life. He said that it's not so special if it's a bit. Howard said it's not a bit.
Howard said he can't understand why he calls the 5 grand a burden. He played the audio of JD talking about that on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. JD said he sees almost everything as a burden. He said there aren't many blessings in his life.
Howard said that if JD looked like Jared he wouldn't have to work so hard but JD has to work a little bit more. JD said he was willing to work it at the pace he was. Howard said that pace is a snails pace. Howard asked if he could get a face transplant for $5,000.
Howard said that JD is a nerd like him. He said he thought he was a geek but it turns out he's a nerd. He said that a geek is better than a nerd. Howard said he was down at the Marshall Chess Club and they were all going to war on a chess table. He said that's very nerdy. He said geeks have weird hobbies and stuff. Howard said a geek is into tech like Jon Hein. He said that a nerd is way lower. Robin said she thought a nerd was into tech stuff. Howard said that Medicated Pete is a nerd. Fred said that they say geeks get things done, nerds do not. Robin said that Howard isn't a nerd then. She said that he's a geek.
Gary gave Howard another definition of nerd and it fit JD just right because he doesn't like to be social. Howard and the guys spent a few minutes going over that stuff.
Howard said JD has this 5 grand and he should direct her in a video or something. He said he could make a music video and she'd go fuckin' crazy. He said he can tell her that he likes her a lot and start calling her ''baby.'' Howard said that he should help her out and turn her on like that. Robin said he'd get to spend a lot of time with her doing that.
Howard said they can story board everything out and talk about the video and all of that. Howard said that JD doesn't have much of a rap though. He said that he might have a problem with that. He said Steven Hawking has more of a rap than JD does. JD said he's not just going to make something to make something.He said he wants it to be good. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said the best part of that song is when Fred Schneider says ''Love Shack Baby!'' He listened to the song for a short time and got a few laughs. He said the girl can really sing in that song. Howard said they were like the Fergie of their day.
Howard said he and Robin should go to a love shack. Robin asked where it was. Howard said it's a little ol' place that they can go. Robin said that David Letterman had one. Howard said they should do a remake of that song about Letterman's love shack. Howard said they can call it the fuck room.
Howard said it's too bad Evil Dave doesn't come on the show anymore. His wife put the kill on that. Howard said he thinks that she was fed up with the whole thing. Howard asked Gary what happened there. Gary said he thinks that his wife doesn't want him to be on the show anymore. He had to come into the studio to talk about it. Howard said they called Dave one day and he's not even allowed to talk to them.
Gary said that he had a conversation with his wife once and she was upset that they let him kiss a woman on the show. Gary said he didn't know they weren't divorced. He said that Dave was apologizing to him and to his wife for doing what he did. Gary said that sometimes they get hung up on when they call Dave. Howard said that's too bad because Dave loved coming on the show. Howard played some of Evil Dave singing some Ozzy. Howard told Fred to get busy working on that remake for the Fuck Room.
Howard said that Katherine McPhee was commenting on him being on American Idol on the Joy Behar show. In that clip McPhee said she thought it was an interesting choice. She said she doesn't think that it's that big of a deal that Simon is leaving Idol. She was saying she knows Howard liked her but she didn't go on his show because she didn't feel that was her demographic. Howard cut it off there and said that she has no demographic. She hasn't carved out a niche for anything so she can't have a demographic.
Howard played more of the clip and Katherine was saying that she thought Howard got mad at her for not coming on his show to take her shirt off. Howard said he just wanted her to come in to get Eric the Midget to fly with balloons.
Howard moved on and brought up High Pitch Eric. He was going to play something but he wondered if they had any Katherine McPhee music. Fred found a song but no one had ever heard it. Howard let that song play through a little bit and said he thinks he saw her out at a movie premiere or something. He said he thinks she was at a charity event that Beth was at. He wasn't sure though. He said he thinks he saw her but she hid from him.
Fred played another song from McPhee and Howard said they say that one is her big hit. Robin had heard that one. Howard said that was enough of that after a few seconds.
Howard played a new prank call that Sal and Richard made to a Trading Post show. They used clips of High Pitch Eric wishing her husband a happy birthday. Her name was Shae Verpuss. They hung up on him and took another call where she was saying she wanted someone to shave her vagina. They kept calling back and the host got mad and told him to do something that he ended up apologizing for. He said ''I'm sorry lord... forgive me.''
The guys called back a few times so the host gave out their number on the air. They said that's why New Yorkers have such a bad name. Sal and Richard kept calling with the Eric clips. They ended the show and played some Jesus song at the end.
Howard said they kept calling Eric a water head so he had to look that up. They were basically calling him a retard.
Howard said that this Lynn Samuels was doing a radio show there at SIRIUS and she used to work for WABC. He said she was going off on them over there for taking off one of her favorite shows. Howard played that clip and in the clip Lynn was calling her old bosses that they were fucked up. She said they took off the show ''Coast to Coast.'' That's one of those shows that they talk about aliens and stuff on. Benjy said he listened to it and he loved it. He said Riley Martin would call into the show once in a while.
Howard played more of the audio where Lynn was going off on them over there saying that it's no wonder Citadel is bankrupt. Lynn was saying that they have people on the station during the day who just yell at each other. Then you want to listen to something strange at night and they take that show off.
Howard wasn't sure where that show was even on. He said he tried to find Rosie the other day too and had trouble finding that. Howard said they have so many programming choices there it's hard to track it all down.
Howard said they had some Scottish porn to play. They had a clip of a couple of Scottish guys doing a chick in this clip. The guys were telling her to taste their balls and to take it in a really heavy accent. Howard said that's a horrible accent and not suitable for porn.
Howard said he was watching a TV show the other day where a bunch of obese women were sitting around talking about how there's no fashion for obese women. Howard said of course there isn't. He said his wife was running on the treadmill staying thin and she's got no problem finding something cute to wear. Howard said that when you work hard to stay thin then you deserve fashionable stuff. He said that maybe one of these fatso's can design something for other fat people.
Howard said he had the Gary Coleman tapes to play. He was about to get to that but he had a new clip of Richard Christy's dad to play. In that one Richard's dad said he heard that Richard had the runs and they had it back there at the farm a while back. He said he hopes Richard doesn't get it on him. Howard goofed on that for a short time. Richard's dad actually hoped he didn't get any on him.
robin asked what Richard's parents think about him getting married. Richard said that his parents love her. He said that they go out there for Christmas every year and they love her. He said that Kristin is afraid to sleep in the house because they have snakes that come in during the winter. He said they don't just bite you out of nowhere but they may bite you if you roll over on them.
Sussy said that he started to look to the future since Howard might be leaving at the end of the year. He said he started to look into doing this trip. Howard said that if he's going to develop a career he shouldn't step away to ride a bicycle around the world. Sussy said he's looking to do other things too though. He wants to do some organic farming and he's going to be going around the world to look into that more. He said he's going to learn farming techniques and how to go green with that. Sussy said he wants to see the world and he's going to check out the techniques around the world by going on this trip.
Howard asked Sussy if he has rich parents or something. Sussy said he doesn't at all. He said he's saving up money himself to do this. He has about 30 grand saved up right now and he'll be biking so it won't cost him that much. He's looking for sponsorships and he has a bike shop that's sponsoring him already. Howard said that sounds crazy to him.
Robin asked Sussy if he's going to be camping and stuff. Sussy said he is and he has saddlebags for the bike. Gary said he heard that he has a girlfriend and they're wondering if she's going with him. Sussy said that she is going to go with him. He said that he's going to leave her behind for a couple of months though.
Howard said his parents must be freaking out. Sussy said that they do think he's kind of nuts for doing this. He said if he were his father he'd tazer him.
Robin said she thinks this is a great idea but she never had the balls to do anything like this. Howard said she doesn't do it because she wants to work and make money.
Howard said Sussy's father must think he's nuts. Sussy said his father likes it and he's been helping him plan out the trip. He's hoping to be able to live off the money he's got saved up and from sponsors. Sussy said that he's been sending out letters trying to get some organic food sponsors. He said you can find out more at OrganicFarmingTech.com
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this sounds like the kind of story you'd hear where the guy ends up in an Asian prison camp. Sussy said he'll be going through Thailand, China and others. Howard said he could end up like Lisa Ling's sister in jail over there.
Howard told Sussy that the Chinese aren't going to put up with anything over there. Sussy was laughing but Howard told him that's serious. Sussy said he knows that and his mom has been worrying about that too. Howard said that Bill Clinton isn't going to fly over to save him like he did with the Ling chick and her friends. Howard said Clinton will be going after his girlfriend.
Howard saw a picture of Sussy's girlfriend and said that she's cute. He said ''what a waste'' and said that she'll probably end up in a Chinese prison with Sussy. Howard said the picture they just showed will end up being the shot they show in the news.
Howard said he thinks that this is absurd. Sussy is planning on taking three years off to do this. Gary said that Scott DePace was saying that he's a great worker but he was also saying that if he came looking for work after doing something like this, he's not sure he could hire him. He said he'd think he was lazy for doing that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's going to go around the world and climb all of the big trees in the world. Howard said he never had a dream like this. He said he never even dreamt of radio stardom. He just wanted to have a job. He said he liked being paid to do something. Howard said he can't imagine telling his dad he was going to ride a bike for 3 years.
Howard said that he can imagine Sussy at 40 renting a room from Yucko the Clown or Bob Levy. He can picture him living with High Pitch Eric.
Sussy said he'll be gone by April of 2011. All this year he's going to be taking smaller trips and he's planning the big trip for next year. Howard asked when he's leaving there. Sussy said that if he re-signs he's going to leave. He said if Howard retires then he's gone anyway.
Howard asked if he's going to Guatemala. He said he would like to go through there. He said he has a touring bike with big fat tires on it. He said that he needs the fat tires to handle the weight of the stuff he has to carry. Sussy said that he races in the city right now. Robin asked if he's one of those bikers who yell at the runners in the park. Howard said there are a lot of assholes like that out there who yell at people to get out of the bike lane.
Howard asked Sussy about the bike riding and if he has friends who he drafts off of. Sussy said they do all of that and they have tactics they use that make it like chess. Howard said it's nothing like chess. He also told Sussy that he's going to ruin his life if he stays so obsessed with the biking. He said that if Sussy runs off to bike he's not going to have a cool job anymore. Howard said that he's still young and his girl isn't going to put up with that kind of thing forever.
Robin said that it could work out. If the girlfriend is into it then maybe it will work out. Howard said that it's rare. Robin told Sussy to go for it because it takes people like him to break the mould.
Howard goofed on the idea of this bike ride for a few minutes. He was talking about what Sussy will end up doing when he gets done with the trip. He wished him luck but it didn't sound like much of a life plan.
Sussy said that he was thinking about going to the peace corps but his father talked him out of that. His father liked this idea much better. Howard said the old man must be getting kind of loopy too then.
Howard imagined Sussy working in a bike shop when he's done and his girlfriend coming in to buy a bike now that she's not with him anymore. He said it would be like that Harry Chapin song. He sang the song about Sussy and his girl. Sussy didn't know the song he was talking about. Howard said he should play it for him. Howard found the song and played him Harry Chapin's ''Taxi.'' Howard said that this is Sussy after his trip. Howard made up some lyrics for Sussy and goofed on him a little bit. Howard said this is some way to throw your life away.
Fred said that they could have Sussy in a Pedicab instead of a taxi. Howard and Fred made up some lyrics about him and had him peddling his girlfriend around in the Pedicab. They had some fun goofing around with the whole story and the song.
Howard said this is some plan Sussy has. He said that he wants to write a book when he's done with this. Sussy said he's going to do a photo journal of the whole thing too. Howard was goofing on photographers yesterday so Sussy knew Howard was going to make fun of that.
Howard asked Scott DePace what he thinks about this. Scott said he thinks this is irresponsible. He said that Sussy has a future and he's throwing it all away. He said he's going to lose all of his contacts.
Howard asked Sussy how much he bikes. He rides 6-7 days a week and he does a few hours a day. He said that he does 6 hours a day on the weekend. He said he goes over the bridge into Jersey.
Howard said biking is something fun you do when you're a kid. He said that it's time to grow up. Sussy said it keeps him in shape and he enjoys it. He talked about the kind of camera he has too. Fred threw in another line for the song where Sussy is pawning his camera.
Howard saw he had a tattoo on him and it was a bike sprocket. Howard said he's got a lot of time on the bike and he must not have a lot of interaction. Sussy said he's on a team so he spends a lot of time talking to those people. Howard asked how they draft and talk. Sussy said they are able to talk while they're doing that.
Howard said he may actually join Sussy because he may not be working by then. He said he can have Ronnie drive him around to places to ride his bike.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard has busted balls on Lance Armstrong and now Sussy. Howard said that he's not a pro like Lance was. He ended up hanging up on that guy.
Another caller said that even in this country it's tough. He said that he's a truck driver and there are a lot of shitholes around. He said that there are people who could end up raping him on the side of the road while he's out bike riding. Sussy said that might prepare him for the Thai jail time.
Robin said she thinks this is beautiful. Howard said he wishes he could go out and do something like this but he would never do it. He said that Robin could do it now that she's worked an entire life time. Sussy hasn't build his career yet and now he wants to go out and do this stuff. Robin said he'll figure it all out while he's out on the road. Howard said he's worried about this kid. Robin said Howard is too hard and strict. She said that not everyone has to do it his way.
Howard and robin asked questions about how he's going to get water and things like that. Sussy has a water purifier that he'll bring along. robin said that he might be the guy who brings them breaking news from around the world when he sees it going on.
Howard wished Sussy luck with his plan. He said maybe he'll turn something into a business he finds out there. Howard said he is very focused on just one thing himself. Howard said he doesn't think everything is about money but building a career is important. Howard said he does a great job there and he wishes him the best. Robin said that it was nice to meet him before he goes. Sussy said he's going to see her every day there. He's not leaving yet.
Howard asked Gary what he would do if his kids told him they wanted to take 3 years off to bike. Gary said he thinks he'd be bummed if they did that. Howard asked Gary how old he was when he met him. Gary was just 23 and he hasn't left yet. Howard said that he could have missed out on the job of his life if he had done something like this. Gary said he talked to Will about it and they were thinking that maybe the lighting job isn't that big of a deal to Sussy. Robin said she can see this is going to drive Howard nuts the rest of the day. Howard said it definitely will. He's already bothered by it. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about someone spraying the rim of the toilet with doody. Tracey Millman went nuts when she found out about it. She wants to track down the person who did it. Howard said he's behind her in that. Howard said that he thinks that they could do a DNA test but Brian Phelan is saying it can't be done and they tried that already.
Steve said that they have a story about someone who said that Howard would be good on American Idol and he's already talked about how bad the show is with that awful band they have backing the singers.
Steve said they have a story about the Medicated Pete iPhone app that just came out. Jeff the Drunk's Bell's Palsey is just about gone too. Steve said he goes back to the doctor on Friday to get checked out. Steve got in some plugs for Jackie's Joke Hunt and Riley Martin's show which are both on tonight.
Howard asked Steve if he was surprised about his wife not being invited to the shower. Steve said that it all seems to be a mess. robin said she'd like to tell them how these things all come about. Robin said that she didn't forget Steve's wife. She said that they went through the news department and she mentioned Steve's wife and someone said that ''Steve is so weird...'' and they decided to leave him and his wife off. Steve said he's weird but don't blame his wife. It was Jason who said Steve was weird so he came in and took responsibility for that.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show.
Howard gave him the first real question. That was Sophia Loren. Howard said he didn't even know she went to prison. He gave him the choices and the caller had to guess on his own. He guessed it was perjury but it was actually tax evasion. Next up was James Brown. The caller guessed it was for crack cocaine. Howard said he was wrong. He went for assault and battery with intent to kill.
Next up was Vince Neil. Howard gave him a few choices and the caller picked vehicular manslaughter. Howard said he was right. He had to get the next two right to win. Kelsey Grammer was next. The caller guessed it was for cocaine possession. Howard said he was right again. The final celebrity was Boy George. Howard gave him a few choices and the caller guessed it was for violating probation. Howard said he was wrong. It was for falsely imprisoning a male escort. Howard gave the guy the $1,000 prize anyway. Howard gave him some Ringo Starr ''Peace and Love'' and then played the clip of Ringo doing that Peace and Love thing.
Robin started her news with a story about Gary Coleman since Howard never got around to playing the clips. Howard said he had that clip and Jackie clips to play too. He said that Jackie was on a show for 40 seconds. Robin said Jackie booked himself on the show to promote that 40 second appearance. Robin said she's fascinated with the Gary Coleman story. Howard said he will get to that tomorrow on the show.
Robin read some news about Charlie Sheen's wife going into rehab and she's wondering if they're maligning Charlie wrongly. Howard said the guy seems like he's out of control but who knows. Robin said she's questioning her own judgment in the case. Howard said he seems pretty troubled to him. He said maybe they're both problems.
Robin said that child services have gone in to check on the kids at Sheen's house. Howard said that there are horrible situations out there and being a social worker has to be a horrible job. They spent a couple of minutes talking about what that might be like going into the Sheen house to see how the kids are doing.
Robin asked when people should be cut off from getting married. Howard said he thinks that it should be cut off at 3 times. Robin said Lorenzo Lamas is trying to get married for a 5th time. Howard said that's the guy that Pat mentioned to him as being the guy Tiger Woods' wife should sleep with. Howard said that would be horrible for someone to lose their wife to. Howard wondered what happened to that show Lamas on VH1. He said he must have been the only one watching it. Robin had no idea what happened to it.
Robin said that Lorenzo is throwing an engagement party. His fiancee is only 23 years old and maybe she deserves it but Lorenzo doesn't. Robin said someone has to put a stop to all of this.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that they make his ride to work every day. He said they can derive a DNA test from the shit on the toilet. He said that he can set something up for them if they want. He was also asking to play a game but Howard didn't have anything for him.
Robin read a story about how a copy of the first Superman comic just sold for a million dollars. Howard said that makes him sick. He said his mother made him give all of his away to a kid in Roosevelt. He said that he came home and his mom told him that she had given them to Robert Tobiason. Howard couldn't believe that she did that to him. He loved those things. He said he had some rare comics too. He said his cousin painted some of the covers so he had a bunch of really rare stuff.
Robin said that the first issue came out in 1938 so Howard probably didn't have it. Howard said he may have had it. Robin said they say that there are only about 100 left in existence. Howard said he loves comic books but he can't imagine paying that kind of money for something like that. Robin said the previous record for a comic book was $375,000.
Robin read some news about the parades in New York being shorter this year. She said they're cutting out some of the blocks that they'll be able to travel on. Howard said that's good. Robin said that may be bad because of how many people show up for them. Now they'll have to fit in a smaller area.
Howard said that parades are outdated now anyway. They're not entertaining. He said that in this day of Avatar no one should be going to see a parade. Howard said they should combine every parade into just one and call it ''Dumbass day.'' He said he's not sure why the tolerate that kind of thing in a city like New York. He said they're horrible. Robin said they're going to have the full St. Patrick's Day parade but after that the parades will be on shorter routes.
Howard said the only parade he supports is the veteran's parade. He said at least they did something to earn it. He said that these people who go to the Puerto Rican Day parade don't deserve a parade. He said that if they're so proud of who they are and where they come from then they should stop shortening their names. He didn't say who he was talking about though.
Howard said that he had some tapes of the kind of people who go to these parades. He played some audio of some people Richard and Sal interviewed at the St. Patrick's Day parade.
Robin said that the guy who was plotting to blow up the subways has pleaded guilty. She had some audio clips of someone talking about the case.
Robin had some news about Iran and how we have to be concerned that another crazy person may get a hold of a nuclear weapon. Howard said he didn't even want to think about that. Robin had some audio clips of a guy talking about the Iranians working on their nuclear weapons.
Robin had some Dalai Lama news and audio clips from some interviews he's been doing lately. Robin said that there are people who are going to see him speak and thousands show up for that. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
After the break Robin got right back into her news and read some more Dalai Lama stuff. She gave Howard some background on that. JD came in and said that he saw a movie about the Dalai Lama and how they picked him. They talked about that for a couple of minutes. Howard said that sounded like a horrible life to him.
Robin read a story about a guy who caused a stir at an airport in Arizona. He was arrested after causing a disturbance and yelled profanities at people inside the airport. Robin had some audio of that to play. Robin said the officer tackled the guy right after that.
Robin had a story about a chef who was suspended after they found out he was cooking cat. She said that he was doing a morning program in Italy and admitted that cooked cat was better than chicken or rabbit.
Howard had to fit in a live 7-Eleven commercial during the news so he did it after the cat story. Robin read a story about Dick Cheney and Bob Dole both being in the hospital this morning. Cheney had chest pains. He has had four heart attacks since 1978. Howard wondered how the guy is still around. He said if he was him he'd just sit home. Robin said that Bob Dole is in the hospital recovering from pneumonia. He's 86 years old.
Howard mentioned that Alexander Haig died recently too. He said he was reading about him and it was pretty interesting stuff.
Robin said that Senator Frank Lautenberg is in the hospital battling stomach cancer. She said he's due to get out this week. He's 86 years old. Howard said he can't imagine being effective doing anything at that age. He said he can't wait for his nap because he has about 5 more minutes to go before that.
Robin read about a new credit card act that's going into effect. She said that it's designed to end predatory billing practices. She said that there are a lot of new rules about finance rate changes and things like that. Robin ran down some of the rules that are changing.
Howard had to fit in another live commercial after that. It was for Xenadrine Ultra. He quickly ran through that live read and had Robin get back to her news.
Robin had some Toyota news and said that the head of the company is going to be appearing today before Congress to talk about their recall of millions of vehicles.
Robin read some news about a pediatrician who was indicted for lewd acts with over 100 kids. Robin said that his medical license was revoked. Robin said that they're looking for more parents who suspect he may have done something with their kids. One girl said she was taken to a basement office in the doctor's office. Howard thought that the parents stayed in the room with the doctor. He didn't understand how that works. Robin said the parents must have trusted the guy.
Robin read a story about Lindsay Lohan talking about her drug and alcohol abuse in an interview. She claims that she's not using anything and she's still able to feel emotions. Robin said she claims she no longer has a drug problem but she still drinks in moderation.
Robin read about Tracy Morgan's new movie ''Cop Out'' and had some audio clips of him talking about working with Bruce Willis. Howard played the audio and Tracy was kind of repeating himself in the clip. Howard said he loves when he does that.
Robin said that they hadn't talked about Kevin Smith getting thrown off a plane. Howard said that he likes Kevin but Kevin thinks he doesn't for some reason. Howard said that was a weird thing. He said that maybe it's a wake up call for Kevin. He said he's just saying this because he likes the guy. Howard said that it's unacceptable to be fat when you have a wife and kids. Howard said that he shouldn't get all angry about him saying this but he knows he will. Howard said he knows he has his own foibles and weaknesses but it's not healthy to be fat. Howard said it's not right that the airline humiliated him either though. He said maybe he should use that to get his shit together. Howard said his parents were smart enough to say something to him when he was getting too heavy. He said that someone has to talk to Kevin like that. That led to Robin saying that someone needs to talk to Jason about his weight. Howard said he's not going to do it. Robin said she was waiting for him to do it.
Robin had some audio of Tracy Morgan talking about Kevin Smith and working with him on this new movie. Tracy said that Kevin knows his stuff and he loves the way he directs. Howard said he wants to see the film. He said he likes Tracy. Howard said he really doesn't hate Kevin either no matter what he thinks.
Robin said the IRS is looking for back taxes from Snoop Dogg. They have filed a lien against them for over $500,000. Robin said that Snoop and his wife have not commented.
Robin said that Robert Pattinson has announced that he is dating his co-star Kristin Stewart. Robin said they showed up at a party together and they've tried to keep the relationship low key. Howard said he thinks that she's kind of a sour puss. He's not sure what he finds attractive about her.
Ralph called in and said that Southwest Airlines should be applauded for what they did. He said that the seats are so small that you get stuck next to some big fat person. He said it's the same way with people on the bus and subway. He said that he had to stand up because he had a fat chick sitting next to him and she was overflowing onto him. Howard had to end the show a short time later, right around 10:50am.
Gary said that Scott's workload has been dropped dramatically since they got there. He said that he doesn't complain as much and he shouldn't complain as much. Jon said that Scott was pretty calm when she was yelling at him. Gary said that something has gone on in his life and he's not sure what it is. He said that Scott's doctor may have said something to him about getting worked up over stuff like that. Gary said that he might be trying to take better care of himself and he's staying calm now.
Jon played a clip of Howard talking to Scott about how calm he was in the clip he had played. After that clip Scott was in so Jon and Gary asked him why he's so calm now. Scott said he blew up at something a couple of weeks ago and he realized that he has to stop doing that. He said it was wrong of him to do it and he apologized to Tim for that. He said he felt physically bad after he did it so he has to stop. He said it took him two days to calm down that time and it's just not good for him. Scott said he's trying to rein it in but he still has some anger.
Benjy asked if he counts to 10 or something to get over it. Scott said he has to think before he explodes. He said that he's trying to think rationally.
Scott said that he has lost weight and he thinks that he's calmed down. He said that's one area that he had to take care of himself with and now he has to work on the mental area. Scott said he's been working on that and that's why he didn't just come out and wail on Tracey last night.
Scott said that he didn't agree with some of the stuff Tracey was saying about going into his office and finding stuff that he claims he can't find. He said he doesn't appreciate her doing that. There were some other things that she brought up that were personal and he didn't appreciate that. He said he could have told her to shut her fucking mouth but he didn't do that. He doesn't want to be that way anymore.
Scott said he and Tracey had just walked by each other and didn't say a word. Gary asked if they're going to stay away from each other now. Scott said he'll stay away from her. He said he's not sure why she ripped him a new a-hole the way she did. Scott said that of course he'd like more money too. He didn't get why she was bringing that up.
Jon asked Scott if he pulled the clips from the show. Scott said he did and he thought that Howard was going to take her side in the whole thing. Scott said he was pleased with Howard's reaction to it today and he thanked him on the air for that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that every time he's heard Scott on the show he's been fucking up or being a douche. He said he still fucks up things there. He asked if he does anything good there. Scott said he should know the show by now and when they do good things there they don't get noticed. The caller asked how well Tracey knows him. Scott said on a scale of 10 it's probably a 4. The caller said that Scott's always fucking things up. Scott said they can let him go if they don't like his work there.
Gary said that Scott is like the lightning rod for all things that go wrong. He said that it might not even be his fault. He said that Scott kind of got stuck with that job of making sure everything is working even if there are 10 engineers working on the show. Scott said that they sometimes test stuff and 10 minutes later it's not working. He said it makes you slap yourself on the head when it doesn't work.
Gary said that Scott has admitted to fucking things up lately but in the old days he would deny it. Things have changed over the years.
Gary said that Scott doesn't work at the pace that they work at there. He said that they used to knock people over to get stuff done and Scott walks to get stuff done while they run.
Jon asked Benjy if things are still running cold between him and Tracey. Benjy said that she doesn't treat people in a polite manner and she's mean to more than just him. He said that he likes talking to her so that doesn't mean that she's a bad person. He said that she may have a lot of pain in her or something. He said he'd still like to talk to her off the air but Gary tried to make that happen and she wasn't interested.
Benjy said that he's polite and he hasn't made an effort to get to her other than just being polite to her. Benjy asked Jon if he thinks that Tracey treats people nicely. Jon said he gets along with her and he thinks that she treats people differently. He said that he doesn't think that she's unnecessarily mean to people. He said he's not sure what the reason is for the way she treats some people though.
Gary said they run things there like a real job for the interns. He said sometimes you have to run a business like that and Tracey is good at that. Benjy said that he thinks that she can be inappropriate at times. Benjy said that Gary knows that she treats some people badly. Gary said that he's seen her go off on people but not treat then poorly. When she gets mad she may yell.
Scott said he had a run in with Tracey a couple of years ago and that's where all of this started with her. He said he should never have spoken to her after that. Benjy asked if he was raped. Scott said that it was an incident that some people knew about but that's where this anger comes from.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the woman who called in with the Artie question this morning had a legitimate point. He said people want to know what's going on with Artie. He wondered if Artie is coming back or not and if they're going to get someone to replace him. Gary said that he's not going to talk about Artie and he's just going to say that he's doing his best. He said that Artie needs to do what he needs to do and he may want to be left alone. This is a very serious situation. The caller said that Howard isn't showing any compassion about the whole thing. Gary said that the whole audience doesn't need to know about what's going on because Artie may need to do some things to get better.
Gary said there has been no discussion about filling Artie's seat. He said that they have spent time without Jackie in his seat and they don't need to fill it. He said they may not need to do anything to fill that seat at all.
Jon got back to Tracey who said she got a phone call from someone saying that Benjy had something to say to her. Jon said that he asked Benjy if they had patched things up and Benjy said that he went to Gary and Tracey had no interest in hearing from him. Jon said that Benjy thinks that she's not nice to everyone.
Tracey said she's not nice to everyone and Benjy is welcome to come in and get stuff from her when he needs it but she's not going to bow down to him and kiss his ass. Benjy said that would be great. He said there is a way to be polite to people and Tracey doesn't even try that. Benjy said he thinks that she treats people in a mean way. Tracey said that's fine for him to think that.
Tracey said that there have been times that they have gotten along and she would rather just walk past him instead of talking to him. She said she doesn't like people who lie or people who take advantage of others. He said that she and Benjy will sit down and talk and then he'll pretend that he doesn't see her in the hall and bump into her. Benjy said he has never done that. She said he acts like he's oblivious to everything around him. Benjy said he doesn't mean to do that and he's not faking it.
Tracey said she likes to keep things real and she likes to tell the truth. She said that's the way it is. Jon said it seemed like Benjy wanted to be on good terms with her. Tracey didn't think that was the case. Benjy said that he would like to be friends with her.
Tracey said that she's the only girl back there and a lot of guys don't respect her so they have to fear her. She said that's the way she runs things back there. Benjy said he thinks that he has treated her with respect but Tracey said he wasn't doing that when he barked at her and called her a bulldog. Benjy said he apologized for that. Tracey said that he did not.
Benjy said that Tracey stops talking to people for months at a time. She said that's right and that's the way she deals with people. Tracey said that she and Teddy have gone for a month without talking and they're really good friends. She said that she's not there to be nice to people. She said that if anything she's just giving them more material.
Benjy said that a nice office atmosphere is part of running a business. Tracey said that she never sees Benjy so she's not sure how she's affecting his workplace. Benjy said it's the way she acts when he goes into the office and she huffs at him or something like that. He said she treats people poorly when she does that.
Tracey said that the way guys treat women makes it hard for a woman to work there sometimes. That's why she has to do things the way she does. Tracey said that she's the only woman back there. Tracey said she replaced someone who got walked all over and she isn't going to let that happen. Gary said that they did look for someone who would run a tighter ship there when they replaced that other person.
Tracey said that she has to put up with a lot of sexual harassment there. She said that it is what it is there and she's just as guilty of the sexual harassment as anyone else. She said that stuff is all in fun but you have to draw the line somewhere. She said she's getting stuff done that she needs to get done. Tracey said that she doesn't discuss the show outside of the show. Tracey said that she will fight with Jason about a CD and be at his house for a party that weekend.
Tracey said that she did bring up some stuff with Scott yesterday that she shouldn't have. She apologized for that. She said that she and Scott get along outside of work and she likes him and his wife. She said she's fine with not getting along with someone and if Benjy doesn't want to be her friend then that's fine.
Benjy said that she seems to be extra stand-offish with him and that's what he doesn't appreciate. Tracey said she goes out of her way not to do anything around him to get him to notice that. Benjy said that she puts off a vibe that she doesn't like people.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that they're going to work things out to have a nicer work place. Gary said he thinks that the Scott thing will work out. He's not sure about Benjy. Benjy said that they're still friends on Facebook. Tracey said that as of about 20 minutes ago he's not. She deleted him. She said that Jared called her and told her what Benjy was saying about her on the air earlier so she took him off her friend list.
Benjy said he would like to be on her friend list. He said he wasn't offended by it but he would like to be her friend.
Benjy said that he would like to know what the whole secret thing was that got her and Scott into their fight. Scott didn't want to get into it and Tracey didn't remember what it was because they have been in about 6 fights over the years.
Tracey said that this is another scenario that she's not sure she wants to touch on. She said that she would rather not get into it. She said that she may go places that Scott would rather not go to. Scott said he's not sure that he wants to get into that.
Gary said that they know what it is but the audience doesn't. He said that Scott seems to think that is the genesis for why she has problems with him. Tracey said that's really not the reason. Jon apologized to the audience since they didn't know what it was that they were talking about. They were talking about stuff very cryptically so Jon said it was getting too confusing and went to break.
Gary said that taking yourself off the grid for 3 years isn't good for a career but it's not a bad thing. Benjy said he thinks that some people would love that on a resume. Gary said Scott DePace looks at it another way though.
Sussy came in so Jon asked him about what he's going to do. Sussy said that he's not doing a hippie thing like some people are saying. He said he will shower.
Gary said that he appreciates that Robin likes what he's going to be doing. He said that was cool. He expected Howard to react the way he did but that's a good way to get people on his web site so that's fine with him.
Jon said that there was a conflict going on behind the scenes that he didn't know about. Jon said that when one of them goes in there the notes start flying from Will to knock them as much as they can. Jon asked Will if they do that with the Howard TV guys. Will said that they don't do it with the Howard TV guys so much. He said that they like to get into everyone's life and he has to pull it back sometimes.
Gary said that the Howard TV guys were pulling clips of Sussy that were nice and they never do that for anyone who is on the radio show. They back up their own over there at Howard TV. They protect their guys. Scott DePace said that their job is to follow along with what Howard does and they're not just protecting their guys. Gary said that Scott would be pressing his button to goof on him if he was in there.
Will said that they had some really lame stuff about Sussy and they were pushing to get that on the air. He said that everything they were giving them to pass on to Howard was kind of lame.
Gary said that someone put a note up about Sussy's girlfriend and they had a picture up a few seconds later. Scott said that they do that with everyone, not just their own employees. Scott said they had the picture of Gary picking his nose at the basketball game and they had that up during the discussion.
Will said that they always try to produce better for their own guys than they do for other people. He said that he's heard Doug Goodstein trying to get people on the phone when they would talk about Gregg Karmel or someone on their team. Goodstein said that they do that for anyone they can back there. They were going back and forth with each other with some insults.
Jon asked Doug how he thinks that Gary reacted with Sussy and the stuff going up. Doug said he felt he was off base today. Doug said they put the picture of Sussy's girlfriend up when they heard Howard talking to him about her. He said that turned into a great bit. Gary said that they're just saying that it's funny how they do that when their guy is in the studio. Scott said they're producing a show back there and they do help out with this stuff. Gary said they could have had Steve Langford wife pictures up there just like they did with Sussy's girl. Doug said that she's not as easy to find.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they were listening to the show this morning and they have friends like Sussy who have gone out on a tour like that. He said that it's pretty neat that a guy can do that. He said that he doesn't need that resume anyway.
Gary said that Sussy could go out on this tour but he's wondering what's going to happen if he gets robbed or something. Doug said there could be some wackos out there who just take his bike. Gary said that even in the city you have to ride really fast when you get to certain streets there. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how tired he was after staying up to watch American Idol. Howard said he may not want to be on that show after seeing that. He said that the judges are the most disturbing thing on the show. He said some of the kids are good and some are bad but Ellen is disturbing to look at. He said she has giant ears and her eyes are bugging out. He said she has to be wearing contacts too because her eyes are too blue.
Howard said the only guy who is good at it on that show is Simon and even he's getting dull. He said the whole thing was dull. Robin said Randy's teeth are too white too. She said that his body is collapsing too. Howard said he doesn't care what Ellen has to say about the contestants. Kara Dioguardi is annoying and the whole show is getting to be annoying. He said he's still watching though.
Robin said she watched maybe 20 minutes and then tuned out. She just wanted to see what Ellen was doing. Howard asked what she was wearing. Robin said she still had on her work clothes.
Howard said he's like a girl watching that show. He said he had to see the end so he stayed up. He said he didn't vote though. Howard said he would have voted if he didn't have to go to bed.
Howard said there's one girl on the show who has big, full lips. He said he didn't think she was so good, especially since the band was so bad. He said the band's mix wasn't very good at the start either. He said one girl was kind of Miley Cyrus-like and she was singing a Beatles song that wasn't so bad. He said they told her that she was the worst. Howard said he would have bet the judges that he could make money with her.
Howard talked about how self important all of the judges are and how they think they can out judge him. He said he was in the studio recording a new song parody yesterday.
Howard said he doesn't care about sports so he doesn't know who he is but everyone else probably knows him. He said the dude's name is Tony Kornheiser.
Howard read the article about the guy and what he said about this woman who works there at ESPN. The woman was Hannah Storm. The article described what the guy said about the woman and he got pretty graphic about what she looked like with the too-tight clothes she wore that day.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who prank called ESPN yesterday. Janks said he called in as Brian Westbrook from the Philadelphia Eagles. Janks said that he's been playing with the Eagles for years and in the past year he had some concussions and stuff so they were going to release him.
Janks got through under that name so Howard asked how he did that. Janks said that they were very interested in having him on. Janks called through as his manager and said he wanted to get Brian on the show to talk about being released from the team. Janks said that they told him that they'd tape the recording and replay it later. Janks asked to do it live and said he didn't want to let them chop up the tape. He said they called him back and they asked for his number so he just gave them his own number. Janks said that he just changed his voice from the manager voice to Westbrook's voice.
Janks said he was working on his ebonics last night and he can't really do that kind of thing. He wasn't doing much of a voice from what Howard heard.
Howard played the call where Janks called in as Brian Westbrook. The ESPN announcer was talking him up while they played some clips of Westbrook. Then they take the call from Janks. Janks did a little bit of his impression of Westbrook and talked about how he has nothing but respect for the head coach and then says he looks forward to the future of worshiping the prostate of Howard Stern. The hosts cut Janks off and talked about how they had just been fooled.
Gary said you'd think that ESPN would have a better system of not letting that kind of thing happen. Howard said that they just buy into it. Janks said that he didn't even know who his manager was so he just made up a name. Gary said they look things up and make some calls before having people on the show so they have a better system than ESPN does.
Howard said he got a call from 19 Entertainment last night and it was a phony phone call. He said he's not even sure how people get his number. Janks said that the name he used was a real agent but not Westbrook's agent.
Gary was fooled by a woman who said that she was Madonna's sister one time. Gary has been pranked a few times but they check through it pretty well usually.
Howard said that was a good call by Janks there. Janks said he tried to get in a Steve Langford mention in that call but they cut him off. Janks asked if he had any prizes to give away. Howard said he had one but people would yell at him if he gave it to him. Howard said he can't give it to him now. He said eventually he'll give him something but not now. Howard said he gets letters from people telling him to never give him any money.
Howard said that was a nice little plug and they're excited about it. Howard said that's all happening on March 10th and AshleyMadison.com is sponsoring the contest.
Howard said Rachel did want to be part of the pageant but she couldn't be. He said that they did talk about having her in as a cardboard cut out but that won't happen. Gary said he spoke to her yesterday. He said it was funny because he had asked her to be in the contest. He said he was buttering her up and she couldn't say why she couldn't be in it. Gary said that he's surprised that they weren't asking him if they could use her as a cardboard cut out. Gary said he told her that they wanted her to be part of the contest and they let her lawyer know about that.
Gary said that in the end it wouldn't have been fair to have her in as a cardboard cut out. Howard said part of the deal is to interview the women about their affairs so that wouldn't be fair.
Howard said the woman got married and had some kids and the husband got her into this religious stuff that made her come forward to admit she had lied. It turns out that she didn't come forward because of her husband. The article says that she came forward when the DNA evidence showed that he didn't rape her. She had also confessed to a priest about the crime and he had urged her to come forward.
Howard said they should send this woman to prison for life. He said that she sent this guy to 4 years in prison for no reason and let him sit there and rot. He said he would have stayed in there even longer if the DNA evidence hadn't come out. Howard said that this woman is dangerous.
Howard said that the woman repeated her lies to the jury, a grand jury, doctors, cops and more. Howard said the guy who was in prison had some sympathy for what the woman is going through. He said that rape is the worst crime possible and all is not forgiven. He said that lying about someone raping you is even worse than rape. She robbed him of four years of his life.
Howard said she did it because of her friends too. Robin said she kept the story going even after that night that her friends got upset with her.
Howard played the song parody that they made after the show yesterday. It was to the tune of ''Love Shack'' of course. Howard sang the Fred Schneider part and they had a woman singing the other parts of the song.
Howard said he wanted to get Fred Schneider to record it but he seems like a proper kind of guy so he may not have done it. Howard said he likes Dave so much he feels kind of weird singing it himself. He said it was a good parody though so he had to do it.
Howard said that he doesn't even need to see Jay's show. He said he could bash him right now. He said that they might be able to do it from the studio and he would work clean for them if they want him on. He said he can do that.
Howard said that he would defend Dave and talk about what a monster Jay is. He said that he stole the show away from Conan O'Brien. Howard said the guy has no class and he would talk about what a thief he is and how Dave is the original.
Howard said he is going to say yes to this request. He said he wants to bash Jay for CBS. He said that Dave may take some of the shrapnel though. He said he might bring up Dave and his interns. Howard said he's pretty sure Dave isn't seeing anyone professional to help him get over his urges to have other women. He said to get over that kind of thing you really do have to get help.
Robin said she read that Tiger didn't go back to rehab after his press conference last week. Howard said that he really needs help or he's going to be miserable.
Howard said that Artie committed the ultimate act and it's still unbelievable to him. Robin said she can't think about it because she can't imagine it. Howard said he thinks about it every single day and it freaks him out. Robin said she doesn't want to think about it. She said she thinks about Artie every day but not what he did.
Howard said maybe he should have seen it coming. Fred said that he couldn't have seen that coming. Robin didn't think he could have either.
Howard said the update is that Artie has a mental illness, that's it. Robin said that Howard and Artie argued about that on the show one time and Artie refused to admit he was ill. Howard said it's not easy to sit next to someone and tell them they're ill. Howard said he was hoping that he'd get help when he told him he was ill.
Howard said that Gary and Gilbert were on Hollywood Squares with her when she was about 18. Gary saw her thong and it was a chain. Howard said Gary said Gilbert asked her if that was a chain thong at the top of his lungs.
Howard said that Kaley was on the show with John Ritter called ''8 Simple Rules About Dating My Daughter.'' Gary said that she was the hot daughter that Ritter had on the show.
Howard said that they interviewed Kaley about working with John Ritter on that show. He said that Kaley told her before he passed away not to go on Howard Stern. Howard read that quote and she was saying that Howard used to talk about how hot she was. John would get upset about that. Howard said the whole show was about a hot daughter so of course he was buying into the concept. She will never do the show because she's respecting John Ritter's wishes.
Howard said that you have to be proud of that. He said that he can't believe that John Ritter wasn't attracted to her too. Howard said that Ritter was a good guy from what he heard. He said that Jimmy Kimmel cried when John died. He said he still has to talk to him about that. He said he doesn't understand why he was crying over that.
Howard said that he hasn't heard from Jimmy lately since Sarah Silverman was on the show. He said he's not sure if Jimmy is upset with him or something. He said he may just be paranoid. He said he is paranoid but he's not sure about this whole thing.
Howard played the clip of Jimmy crying on his show when he said that John Ritter had died. Howard said he thinks that's what broke up Sarah and Jimmy. He said he doesn't understand that. Howard said that he's afraid that Jimmy wouldn't even cry when he dies. He said that he's been better to Jimmy than John ever was.
Howard said that he had to thank Julie James for helping out with the vocals on that song. He said that she sang the female parts of the song.
Howard had some email to read. Howard said that people are upset about the American Idol discussions so he's done with that. Howard said that everyone is carrying on about the show but no one wants to hear it so he's going to keep his mouth shut. Howard said that he's not even going to tell people if he gets on that show.
Howard read a bunch of emails about the American Idol discussions. People were saying that he's lost touch talking about what's interesting. Howard said he's going to teach everyone a lesson then and he's out of there. He's not going to sign on for more time there.
Howard said he had to go to the shrink yesterday and also had to see Dr. Sarno. Howard said he has been having a knee problem and Sarno needed to look at his knee to see if anything was wrong. Howard jokingly said he had his electro shock appointment at 4. Howard said that Dr. Sarno is a genius. He saved him from having back surgery and shoulder surgery. Howard said Sarno told him what was really going on and helped him out. Howard said that the back pain industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and people don't get better after surgery. Howard said that you have to go see Dr. Sarno if you have problems like that.
Howard said he was telling Sarno about what's going on in his life and he's not sure why he's so angry all the time. Howard said his father is salt of the earth. Howard said that he's a very loving man even when he's making fun of him on the air. Howard said that his father is a great man and he wants to tell this story that sums up who he is as a man.
Howard said his brother-in-law Pete is a very talented guy. He said Pete worked with leather crafts and he could make a living at it. He said he used to make leather and suede pillows and they were professional pillows. He said that they're not crappy gift type things either. They're really nice. He said that Pete made the pillows and these leather covers for appointment books and stuff. He said he knows all about leather.
Howard said his dad told Pete to make some pillows up and he'd go to some stores and show them what he had to sell. His father wanted Pete to sell his stuff in stores. Howard said his father told him he'd go to some stores on his lunch break and show them this stuff so he could have his own business. Howard said his father went out with the pillows and wrapped them up to bring them with him to work. Then he'd go out to lunch and walk to Bloomingdales and stores like that. He said he'd ask to see the head buyer and they'd look at him like he was nuts. Howard said his father would sit and wait until the guy showed up. Next thing you know Pete had a display at the store and they were selling out.
Howard said that his father did that for his brother-in-law and after a while Pete had to hire some people to work for him. Pete eventually stopped producing the pillows but his father went out and did this for him. He said that his father isn't lip service and he will actually do things.
Robin asked what's wrong with that story. Howard said there was nothing wrong with it. Robin said that there is something wrong. She said that Howard knows what's wrong with that story. Gary said he knew what she's talking about. He asked Howard if he would ever do that. Robin said that's not what she was talking about. Howard said Robin should be locked up in a straight jacket.
Robin said that Howard has told them that his father refused to hire him to work for him. Howard said that his father helped Peter out and he's not talking about himself. Robin said that this is why he's telling the story and it's because his father never helped him out by hiring him. Howard said Robin needs to go back to therapy. Robin said that was a loving act but it means something to him. Howard said Robin is ruining his story and she just has to do that.
Howard said he was going to turn the mics off and take Robin outside to take it out on her. He said that he's trying to paint his father in a positive light. Fred said he's lost on this story. He doesn't get why Robin is talking about this. Robin said that Howard was just saying he had this unnamed anger in his life and then he tells that story.
Howard said his father shows his love with action instead of lip service. Robin told him to tell a story about his father's love with him in the story. Howard said he does have a story but he's not sure he wants to tell it. He said his father gave him advice to do something and he wasn't sure he wanted to give the details of that.
Howard said his father knew he wanted to have a rock band when he was a kid and his father went out and bought him this accordion thing. He said that it was the most horrible sounding organ but his father did get him something from his heart.
Howard said his father just helped him the other day too. He said it was help with a financial decision. He said his father was very wise with his money. He said that he started these little programs to save money and it worked for him. Howard said his father didn't just ignore his finances. Howard said his father is financially independent and he does the responsible thing.
Howard said he had a notion to do something financially and his father gave him very sound advice. Howard said his father went and researched it and called him back to let him know what was going on. He said they spoke four more times to make sure it was a good decision. Howard said that's very loving to him. Robin said it is but she still thinks that Howard won't look at certain things.
Howard begged Pete to make one more pillow so he could shave it in Robin's mouth. Howard took a call from Cyrus who said it might be time for Robin's daddy to visit in the form of Ham Hands Bill. Howard thanked him for that call. Howard said that he's been in therapy for 10 years and he refused to look any further than the surface.
Howard took a call from a guy who said American Idol was very boring last night. He said the show is heading downhill. The guy said that Simon is the only good thing on the show. He said that Ellen's ears were huge. Howard said he noticed that. Howard said he commented on those ears earlier.
Howard took another call from a guy who brought up the mistress Beauty Pageant and asked if there could be more than the four entrants. Howard said they'll take more entrants right up until they do the pageant.
The caller suggested that they get Donald Trump in there to judge. Howard said he's been thinking about the pageant and he thinks it's going to be a big deal. He said he was thinking about the judging and it might be better if he, Robin, Fred and Gary were judges. He said they should keep it in house.
Howard said that when you have a celebrity in they become very antsy and wonder why they're not being talked to. Howard said the beauty of the pageant is to find out about what these women did with Tiger. Howard said that if they have celebrities there then it could take away from the pageant. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he thought Fred was going to play ''Fuck Room'' the new hot single. Howard sang along with the McCartney song a little bit. He said he was getting a lot of requests for the ''Fuck Room'' song so he'd play it one more time. Howard said that he's going to redeem himself with Dave next week when he does the CBS Early Show. Howard played the ''Fuck Room'' song parody after that.
After the song Howard said that the girl singing in the song was good. Her name is Julie James. She works there at SIRIUS. Fred said he thinks that she sings on a lot of pieces they use there. Sal said that she's done a few of their song parodies and she works at the Broadway channel there. Sal said she had two interviews yesterday and she changed it all to work on that song for Howard. Howard told Sal to make sure he thanks her for that.
Howard said he never did bring the show to TV back then because he didn't think he had the right to. He said he could barely afford to buy a TV back then.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said that Simon is threatened by Howard and that's why he's bad mouthing him. Howard said of course he wants it to fail. Howard said that he's going to drop this discussion because people are pissed that he keeps talking about it. Howard said that show is awful anyway. He said that Ellen is annoying with her comments.
Howard said that he wrote down some of Ellen's comments from last night's show. He said that she was commending the contestant who went first even though she had no choice. Howard said Ellen didn't have a thought about how she did. Howard said Ellen eventually said that the second contestant sang her song very well. Howard said Ellen was telling one contestant not to push too hard. He didn't know what that even meant.
Howard thanked Bobo for his call and took another one. The caller said that he was thinking about how Howard should do his own show. Howard said he will talk about that in the next staff meeting. The caller said he wants to get his band in there when they do that. Howard said that he'll let him know when they get it all worked out.
Howard did a little intro for the game and had Fred playing sound effects in the background. Howard said you have to guess what Pete is saying in the clip. They gave Pete celebrity names and had him repeat them. The caller has to guess what the name is.
In the first clip Pete sounded like he was saying ''Letsay Abraham.'' Howard said he thinks he got that one. He wrote it down and asked Gary if he was right. Gary said Howard got it right. Robin didn't have a clue. The caller guessed it was Lindsay Lohan. Howard locked him in and said that he was wrong. The right answer was F. Murray Abraham.
The next one was pretty clear and it was Tupac Shakur. The caller guessed that's what it was and got it right. The third one sounded like ''Fred Gooby.'' Howard didn't get it and Robin wasn't sure what it was either. Howard played it a few times. Gary said it might be close to impossible to get. Howard played it a bunch of times and the caller said it was Joe Perry. Robin guessed it was Fred McMurray. It turns out it was actually Faye Dunaway. The caller told him to get the fuck out of there with that.
Howard told the caller he had to get the next two right. He played the next one which sounded like ''Chawayway Hatchoo.'' Howard said this was a tough game. The caller didn't even have a guess for that one. Robin said that they might have to pass on that one. Gary said this one was ''Gerard Depardue.''
Howard said that one was too tough and he was going to give him one more to redeem himself. He said that if he gets it right he'll walk away with $711 from 7-Eleven. Howard played the next one and it sounded like ''Tusa Buson.'' Robin got it right away and confirmed it with Gary. Howard played it a couple more times. Fred thought he had it. Fred checked with Gary and he got it wrong. Fred thought it was Richard Burton. Howard didn't get it. The caller said this game was really hard. Robin asked if she could play for him. Howard said that was fine and it was Giselle Bundchen. Howard gave the guy his $711.
Howard played another one and it sounded like ''Wewa Chucho.'' Robin didn't get that one. Howard couldn't get it either. It was Gwyneth Paltrow. Gary told him to hold off on playing anymore.
Lisa said they have a story about Underdog Lady Suzanne Muldowny who just got out of the hospital after having her colon fixed. Suzanne is able to get on and off the toilet now that she's had the operation. Howard said he'd love to talk to her about that but she won't talk to him.
Howard said he had a colonoscopy during vacation so that kind of hacked up his vacation. He said he had to prep for it and it was nightmarish. He said his doctor is great and they knocked him out completely. He told the anesthesiologist to give him a Michael Jackson. He said she put the needle in his arm and it was the greatest buzz right before he went out. He said he didn't even know that he had a pipe up his asshole after that.
Howard said he was scheduled for a Tuesday so Sunday night he had to stop eating. He said he woke up the next morning and drank clear liquids for the rest of the day. He said he opted for a lot of apple juice that Monday. He said he was drinking it every hour. Howard said he was allowed to have Jell-O but he didn't want to make that. He said he's too lazy. Howard said he was allowed to have chicken broth but no chicken. He said it had to be clear liquid. Howard said he had to take some Ducalax pills in the afternoon and nothing happened. He said he thought he was going to be shitting but nothing happened. He said that he took four of the pills and nothing. He said he drank and drank and then at 5 o'clock the real action began. He had to drink 64 ounces of Gatorade. He was pissing like a race horse. He said he had to drink that jug and empty into it Miralax. It was powder and it was 14 servings of a super strong laxative. He said you shake it up and you have to drink an 8 ounce cup of that crap. He said his belly looked all distended and he had to keep drinking it. He still wasn't making doody though.
Howard said it took him an hour and a half to drink all of the Gatorade. He said that about two hours later he was shitting water out of his ass. He said that it all came out water like. Howard said he had just shit his brains out after that and thought he was going to be able to sleep. He had to stay up and shit all night instead. He said he was blasting off with water shooting out of his ass. He said he was peeing out of his ass.
Howard said that he felt like he was being cleansed. Howard said he was weighing 188 pounds because so much crud was coming out of him. He usually weighs 190-195.
Howard said he wanted to be first over there at the doctor's office but he didn't get in until 10:45. Howard said they didn't move anyone around for him. Howard said he had to drive an hour and a half to the doctor after that. He said he was still shooting water out of his ass at that point. He said he was going to buy some diapers to make sure he was going to be okay.
Howard said it was snowing that day but he was going to go no mater what. There was no way he was going through that process again. Howard said he left early and got there about 45 minutes early. Howard said he got there and he had to shit again. He said he had to go into the bathroom and squirt more water out of his butt. He said that it makes all kinds of noise when he does it too. Howard said he brought baby wipes with him to clean up. He said he was in there with his man purse and baby wipes. He said he felt like a woman. Howard said it was just water but it still needed to be wiped.
Howard said he got in early and the doctor asked why he did that. Howard said he didn't care, he'd just wait. He said he had to sit there until 11:30. Howard said he was ready to eat already and had a turkey sandwich waiting for him in the car. He said that they told him to eat light though.
Howard said he waited in the waiting room and he had to put on a gown. He said his doctor has gotten over the laughter of the size of his penis. He said that there are some women there who probably still laugh. He said that one of the women is really nice and he's afraid that she'd see his penis and think he's half a man.
Howard said he heard that two people were ahead of him. He said he got mental and thought that they weren't going to clean off the doody and he'd die of AIDS. Howard said he thought that they would infect him somehow. Howard wanted to bring it up and had to figure out how to do that. He said he joked about them leaving doody on the table and the Doctor joked that they never clean their equipment. Howard said the doctor told him to calm down.
Howard said that the doctor told him that he had every right to be nervous but he was going to be fine. He said he waited and waited for them to do the other people. Howard said everyone was nice in there and they put the needle in him and put him to sleep. He said that they had a gown for him and he had to tie it up so no one would see his penis. He said he was tying it around his neck and around his back. He said that the nurse said she had to undo it because he was going to hang himself the way he had tied it all.
Howard said that he was fully nude under that gown other than the socks he had on. He said his balls are the size of peanuts. He said the nurse called him ''Mrs. Stern.''
Howard said that they laid him down on his side and put him out. He said he could never get through that awake. He said his father told him they used to leave you awake for that procedure. Howard said that the prep sucks but the rest of it isn't so bad. Howard said people should get it done. He said you can't drive yourself home so you have to have someone drive you home. Fred said you're weak after it's done.
Howard said the stuff they gave him to knock him out is the same stuff Michael Jackson was using. He said he sees why he liked it so much. Howard said that stuff was great.
Howard said he has an enlarged prostate but that's normal for a guy his age. Howard said he dribbles all the time. He said he thought he peed his pants last night. He said he sat down like a girl to pee. He said when he pees it sprays out of the bowl a bit so he didn't want that going on. He said that he'd have to wipe it down with a tissue and he uses his shoes to wipe. Howard said he flushes toilets with his feet and doesn't touch it with his hands. Howard said that he could kick anyone's ass with his feet now.
Howard said he'd rather just sit down to avoid the wiping. Robin said that if he's wiping with his feet and not washing then his feet are dirty. Howard said he keeps his shoes on.
Howard said he sat down and peed and then went back to watch American Idol. He then realized his underpants were wet from dribbling. He said it was like he made in his pants. He said he was uncomfortable but he didn't want to miss Idol. Howard said he had some wet underpants and sometimes Beth will play with his penis. He said that occasionally she'll tell him that his underpants are wet. He said that she wonders if her husband wet his pants. He said he makes up excuses and she tells him he's lying. Howard said he just wants an ounce of dignity.
Howard said he just lets his underwear dry out and he's too lazy to get clean ones. Howard said there's a whole process. He said he's so busy with Idol and things. He said he's like a little kid that plays with their toys so long that they shit their pants.
Howard said that he actually dripped pee on the floor the other day. He said that he thought he was done and dripped.
Benjy asked how he wipes with his foot. Howard said he puts the toilet paper on the bowl and moves it with his foot. Robin said that he could just use toilet paper and make it thick enough that he wouldn't get any on his hands. Howard said he doesn't want to risk getting it on his hands because he doesn't want to wash and waste time doing that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he never wanted to hear the colonoscopy story until this one. He said it was funny as shit. Howard said the actual colonoscopy isn't so bad. He said he knows guys who won't get them done. Ronnie and Scott are two who haven't had it done. Howard asked Scott why he won't get it done. Scott said he was scared but he has one scheduled for their next vacation. Scott said they know someone who had their guts ripped out when they had it done. Howard said that's not a normal thing. That's a risk you take but that's like a one in a million thing.
Scott said he's having his acid reflux checked out too. Howard told him to go see Dr. Sarno about that too. Howard said he didn't care to hear more from Scott and sent him away.
Lisa got back to her news and said that they're going to be at Robin's shower today. Howard said Toni asked him if he was going and he said it was all for girls, not guys. Robin said the only guy who is coming is Mike Morales. Howard said ever since he came out gay he's been spending time with the girls. Mike is good friends with Kristin, Richard's fiancee.
Howard said that he had a doctor on the phone who could explain the Underdog Lady thing. The caller said he is a doctor and this is a common thing for people who are on antibiotics. He said that you get diarrhea and you can have problems with your colon. He said that they can lose their whole large intestine when that happens. He said that Underdog Lady had some other problems from what he heard. He said that it can actually happen to anyone who is on antibiotics for any length of time. Howard said that sounds awful. Robin asked where the colon goes then. The guy said that the large intestines are gone and she would have a colostomy bag. He said that they take out the whole large intestine because it's ruined. Howard said that's one thing they don't tell you when you take that stuff. Robin said that's why she doesn't take medication. Howard said she has in the past. Robin said she hasn't lately.
Howard said that they have to figure out who is using that bathroom. Gary said that Scott Greenstein, the H.R. guy, Ross and Tim all use that bathroom. Howard asked why they have access to that bathroom. Gary said that he heard that Langford uses it too. Howard said that he's going to put a stop to that.
Howard said he has to put the ban on these people. Gary said that he'll make sure that it happens. He said Howard just has to initiate the ban.
Gary said that someone there thinks that it might be Tim who is spraying the bowl. Howard said that Tim is the Program Director so he can't imagine he would do that. Gary said they may think that it's the diet and the colonics. Gary said he doesn't know that he's doing it though.
Gary said that they heard that Tim went in there after his first colonic and he sprinted in there to spray his crap in the bowl. Howard said they should assign an intern to the bathroom to inspect it after people are done. Fred said it could be a ''Doody Patrol.''
Gary said that they could get a key card for the bathroom and limit who goes in there. Howard said that they should have a pass for it so they know exactly who is in there. Howard said it would eliminate the problem. Robin said that she's not the problem though. Howard said that they should give the job to Medicated Pete. Gary said they could do the access card thing.
Sal was in Gary's office telling Howard that he was banned from that bathroom a year ago. He can't shit in there because of the ban. Sal said he still pees in there. He and Richard pee together to ''save water.'' Howard said he was grossed out by that. He said that's just disgusting.
Robin said she's for the key card thing. She said that she would like that. Howard asked Robin if she's going to tell Scott Greenstein he can't use it. Robin said that she'll take care of it and tell him the problem they were having.
Sal came in and said that he wants Ronnie to sit outside of the bathroom and keep a list of everyone who goes in there. Ronnie came in and said that he can't see the door to the studio if he does that. Sal said he can't see anything, he's two feet tall. Sal said that Ronnie was beating him up over that. Sal said he could be at a point in the hall where he can see the bathroom and the studio.
Gary said he's working on getting the key card thing worked out. He said they can use the passes they have now and just set it up for the people that they'll allow in there. Howard and the guys were wondering how they're going to know if someone is in there. Gary said that they'll work that out.
Gary said that some of the big people may bribe people to use their passes. Gary said they can't do that. Howard said that he wants Gary to work on that and get to the bottom of it.
Howard said they need a hall patrol. He said that they could get a 5th grader to do that. Howard said he did that when he was in grade school. Howard said he got his ass kicked doing that job though. He said no one took it seriously. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that he was looking over the new Top 5 songs. He said that there was nothing like that Graham Nash song in there. Lady Gaga was at number 5. Howard asked if her face is scary. Robin said that she'd have to work at looking attractive. Howard went through the other top 5 and 4 was one that no one had ever heard. The Black Eyed Peas were in there with ''Imma Be.'' Howard said he doesn't want to be an old fart but when are they going to start using proper grammar. Howard also threw in a Baba Booey song parody of ''Imma Be.'' Howard went through the other songs in the top 5 and Ke$ha was one of them. He said he thinks that chick is hot.
Howard said that Taryn Thomas is coming in and she had an anal accident. He said she had a mini nervous breakdown too.
Howard said that Taryn is in a new porn movie which is a parody of the Jersey Shore TV show. Howard said that Taryn also gained 60 pounds for her role as Snooki. He said she took it off already though.
Taryn came in and Howard said that people should know what happened to her with her anal accident. Howard said that Robin has been moved to do it before. Robin said it's only happened twice to her. Howard said he knows that the AVN awards just happened so he asked if Taryn had any nominations. She said that she had taken a couple of years off and she wasn't nominated because she hadn't been doing anything.
Taryn said that her new movie is from her new movie company. She said that she's being distributed through AdamAndEve.com.
Howard said Taryn did the show a few years ago and she woke up the day after the show crying. Taryn said in January of 2006 she had her intestines torn open. She was also having drug problems at the time because she was doing coke and Xanax. She said she got back into the coke because of the anal accident.
Howard asked Taryn to tell her story about the anal accident. Taryn said that they usually have the right kind of lube on set at the movies. This time they did not. Howard played a clip from one of Taryn's movie ''Tear me a New One 3'' where she was giving oral to a guy. She was doing her scene with a lot of gusto. Howard said that he couldn't even tell what was going on there. Taryn said there were a lot of hand movements and stuff going on.
Howard asked Taryn if she would ever do an ''Analtar'' movie parody of Avatar. She said that sounded like a great idea actually. She said that she knows there's an Avatar parody being made already but that Anal thing was a good idea.
Howard played some more of Taryn's movies scenes and said that she looked embarrassed by her own clips. She said that they were kind of weird to hear but she loves it.
Howard asked Taryn about the lube they had on the set for the anal scene. She said that they had K-Y on the set and she can't use that because it burns. She said that she uses Aros when she does anal. She said they used spit and lube and it just didn't work. Taryn said that she had a painful burning in her ass and she wasn't able to shit. She usually shits like 3 times a day. Taryn said she wasn't able to go to the bathroom and she was mortified by it. Taryn said she went to a doctor that many of the porn stars use. She said she didn't know what was going on with her ass so she drove back to meet with him. She said that he told her to go see another doctor and they tried to put a scope in her ass and it wouldn't go in because it hurt so bad. She said she had to have two stitches put in her intestines. She had a tear in her intestines.
Howard said he didn't know that the penis goes into the intestines. She said it was inside her anus. Robin said that it must have been the colon but Taryn said they told her it was her intestine that was torn.
Taryn said that she took a couple of years off from the business after that incident. She said that she had started gaining weight in her time off too. Taryn said she had to take a break because she was known for doing anal and she has to keep her fans happy. Taryn said that she could have done the vaginal thing but she didn't want to do that.
Taryn brought up this cream pie thing that some girls do and Robin had no idea what that was. Taryn said it's when like 10 guys cum in your ass and it looks like a cream pie.
Howard asked Taryn what she did while she was out of the business. She said that she worked as a pharmacy tech and went back to real estate school. She said that she had money from the business too. Taryn said she threw rave parties too. She said that she was doing just fine while she was out. She kept herself busy.
Taryn said that the business was always the thing she wanted to do. She missed the business and gained a lot of weight. She said she was like 162 pounds which was up from 105. Howard asked why she let herself go like that. She said that she wasn't sure why that was. She said her mom told her to go to the doctor when she got fat. She said that the doctor told her that she might have problems with her neural transmitters from her brain to her stomach.
Taryn said she was eating blocks of mozzarella cheese and she would just eat and eat. Taryn said she was depressed and the food comforted her.
Howard said Taryn is back in the business and she's doing anal again. Taryn said that it's not hurting back there anymore. Howard asked if that's the first thing she did when she got back in the business. She said she shot some Penthouse stuff and things like that. Then she started her own company and that's when she started doing anal again.
Howard asked Taryn how she prepares for the anal scenes. She said that she takes a laxative 48 hours before the day she's going to do it. Then she'll do a colonic that day. She said she has an attachment in her shower to do that.
Howard asked if she's ever had an accident while doing anal. She said that did happen once. She said that time she was able to jump right into a pool.
Howard asked Taryn about what movie she did the anal in. She said the new movie was Vogue Nasty. Robin said she doesn't think she'd ever be able to go back and do that again after the accident. Howard said that she's a very brave woman.
Taryn said the guy who ripped her intestine was bragging that she had said ''ouch'' while they had anal. He didn't know that he had ripped her open. Howard said he has never hurt a woman with his penis.
Howard asked Taryn about doing double anal in a movie. Taryn said that she did a movie that was based on the premise of Saw and she had two guys in her ass. Taryn said she did every single scene in the movie too. Taryn said that it's a great movie and that one is called Dirty Dance.
Howard asked Taryn what the doctor thinks about this. Taryn said that he doesn't know she did double cocks in there but he told her that she could do anal again. Taryn said that she's really particular about who she works with right now. She said that they're shooting movies every 3 months or so now. She said that proper lube is the main thing. She said she swears by Aros lube.
Howard told Taryn that Robin uses natural lube for her ass. Robin said that she did that once. Howard said she must drink motor oil before she does that.
Howard said he thought that Taryn was engaged. She said that she's not. She said that all came to an end last week. Taryn said that it was time to move on and she was kind of upset by that. Howard asked if he's part of the business. She said that he was part of her business and he's welcome to stay part of it. Howard asked what it was that she didn't like. Taryn said that it was just certain things about the way she was treated. Taryn said that it was a lot of personal stuff and she thinks that she'll be better off now.
Howard asked Taryn about the orgies that she used to have with the boyfriend. She said ''of course'' like that was a normal thing for them. She said that she'd have people in the industry over to just have some fun. Howard asked if her mother attends the orgies. She said that her mom said she wanted to come to one but she won't have her there. Taryn also said that her mom doesn't like anal but her father has told her that he sticks a couple of fingers up his own.
Howard asked how the orgies work. Taryn said that she just tells people to bring condoms and they have alcohol there. She said they hang out at the pool and people will just hang out and do stuff all over the place. She said it's like a swinger party. She said that she has neighbors but they're like 2 acres away from her.
Howard said Taryn is back down to a nice weight. She said she had some liposuction done and this guy Dr. Victor claims that he lasered some ass hair off of Howard. Howard said he's never had that done.
Howard asked Taryn if she's had to ban people from her parties. She said that she has had to do that. Howard asked if there are guys who have penises that are too big. She said she's had that problem too but it's no big deal.
Howard asked Taryn if guys think they can have her anally at the parties. She said that she saves that for film only.
Howard was going to play a scene from Taryn's new movie ''Jersey Shore XXX.'' Howard said that she's a fan of the show and you can get a copy at JerseyShoreXXX.com or AdamAndEve.com. Howard played the clip quickly and then talked about how she didn't show up for her date the last time she was on the show.
Howard said that Taryn didn't show up for the date and JD is really pissed about it. JD came in and said that they were supposed to go on a date and when she came out into the hall that day she said ''Eww'' when they told her to kiss him on the cheek. She apologized to him for that and asked if he wanted a kiss now. JD said he wasn't sure he wanted that. She gave JD a quick kiss. Howard said that it was big heart break for him back then. Taryn said she didn't even realize she did that. She said that JD was a cutie pie and she didn't know why she would do that. JD said ''Whatever...'' and left.
Howard let Taryn get in some more plugs and said that they were just warning people about this anal thing and wanted women to be aware of what can happen.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was late to his job because he was sitting in his car whacking off to her. He asked if they could go out and get some coke and do anal. Taryn wasn't up for that.
Another caller asked if they have disability insurance in the porn industry. She said they're independent contractors so they don't have health coverage or disability.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if she would ride the Sybian. Taryn said she was up for it, she didn't care. Howard said maybe she won't even like it. She said she would give it a try.
Howard had Taryn go over to the Sybian to ride it but she wasn't sure if she had her period. She was going to keep her panties on just in case. Howard asked what she does when she's with a stinky woman. Taryn said that she would ask the woman to clean up if she smelled anything. She said she would ask them to go douche. She said that some girls get really offended when you say that.
Taryn said that she had one girl who had white stuff coming out of her pussy and she had to tell the director. She said that they pulled her aside and they told her about it and she threatened to slash her when she went back to the make up room.
Gary instructed Taryn on how to sit on the Sybian. He told her where to sit and how to lean forward on it. He told her she might want to take her feet off the ground too.
Howard had Gary put on his welding mask to cover his face during the Sybian ride. Taryn asked if it was going to hurt. Howard said it will hopefully turn her on. Howard said he wanted her to be honest about it and if it wasn't working, let him know.
Gary started Taryn off at 50 percent. Gary told her to move into it. Howard told him to crank it to 100 percent. Taryn said it was kind of boring. Howard had Gary crank it to 100 percent. Gary slowly moved it up but Taryn wasn't saying or doing anything. Howard said that's the reaction he gets from girls. Taryn told Gary to give her full power. Gary did that and she asked if that was it. Gary said he had it maxed out.
Taryn said that it was starting to work. She finished about 15 seconds later. She said that it was pretty hard. She thanked them for that. Gary said he had it at full throttle. She said it would have worked quicker if it went any higher. Gary said she went pretty quick. She said she had to put her clit on there and it worked. She said that if they and an attachment that went inside of her it would have worked eve better. Howard said they could put one on but they don't do penetration there. They had to wrap up and go to break after that.
Howard said that the former bass player for Alice in Chains is on that Celebrity Rehab show. He said that guy got kind of nutty a couple of times on the show.
Howard said he had something to talk about but he forgot what it was. He had Steve Langford come in with his news preview instead. Steve said they have a story about Rosie O'Donnell and how she's been dreaming about being kissed by Howard Stern. She dreamt that she was in a car with Howard and he gave her a long kiss in the dream. Robin asked if it was on the lips. Howard said this was a dream, so he's not sure.
Howard played the audio of Rosie talking about the kiss on her radio show. Rosie was talking about going to Howard's house on Long Island and Howard kissed her there at this house. Rosie gave the details of the dream and it sounded more like a nightmare to Howard. Rosie said that they were just hanging out and they were buddies. Rosie said she still has people tell her that Howard used to make fun of her like she didn't know.
Howard said he wasn't surprised by that dream. He said he thinks that Rosie isn't gay and she just hasn't met the right guy. He believes that he could have a sexual relationship with her and bring her to orgasm. Steve said ''We'll be there...'' Howard asked Robin what she thinks about that. Robin said that's quite an aspiration. Howard said he thinks that she has a crush on him. He said she just needs a strong man, not a pussy. Howard said he told Beth he may have to give it to Rosie. He said she just needs a big, strong, ugly man on top of her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he loves Howard TV and he loves the behind the scenes footage. He said he watched the Rosie O'Donnell thing the other night and that was great. He said he noticed that Howard has been wearing lot of scarfs lately. Howard said that's his new look. He said he was reading GQ magazine and all of the hip guys are wearing scarfs. Howard said he keeps it with him all day long and he likes it. Howard said he gets cold in there sometimes. Howard said he's cold almost all the time. Steve Brandano was in the room laughing at him so Howard asked what his deal was. Steve told Howard it was cool.
Howard asked Steve if he had a clip on tie today. Steve said it wasn't a clip on. Gary said that it was an elastic band. Steve lifted his collar and it wasn't an elastic band but there was something odd going on with his tie. Steve didn't know what it was. He thought it was just a different color.
Howard said he's all about the scarf now. He said that he's got a few different ones. He said there are a few ways you can wear one. He demonstrated that for Robin. Howard wrapped it around a few different ways to show her. Howard said Ralph showed him how to do all of that.
Howard said he would like all of the workers there to wear scarves. He said he's been shopping on the internet lately and he was looking at a nifty leather man purse and some scarfs. He said he saw some nice polka dot ones that he might get.
Howard said he reads GQ magazine to keep up on all of this stuff. Howard said that they try to push you into some odd stuff though. They do that in Playboy magazine a lot and he's not sure what they're up to over there. He said that they've talked about guys sucking each other off like it's a normal thing to do. He said he's not sure what they're thinking.
Howard said they've talked about wearing a sarong and he won't go that far. He said that he has to draw the line somewhere. Howard said he's also going to get a wallet with a chain on it. Robin said he laughed at Jim Florentine for doing that. Howard said that he likes this wallet. He said he's been doing a lot of shopping lately so he's going to get some of this stuff. He said he's never bought stuff on the web on his own. He said he has to do that and it will be like going to Guatemala for Robin.
Howard told Steve Brandano to stop laughing at him because he dresses like shit. Steve said he'll have to start going to these sites Howard is talking about.
Steve got to more news and said that they have the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant coming up on March 10th and it's taking up a lot of man hours behind the scenes. Steve said they have another sighting of Robin out on the West Coast. Robin was with a female friend and several good looking young men.
Jon Hein had his Wrap Up Show preview next. He ran down what they were going to be talking about today. They ended up talking about Taryn Thomas and Robin's anal for a short time during that rundown. They were also talking about Howard doing the CBS Early Show on Tuesday. Gary hadn't set that up yet. Howard told him to get it set up because he wants to do it so he can bash Jay Leno and defend David Letterman. Howard and Gary got into a little bit of a fight too. Gary was goofing on his scarf and Howard was calling him a monkey.
Steve Brandano was in to give a quick rundown of the Intern Show. Steve said they have former intern Gay Rich (TheBPlot.com) coming in tonight. Steve said that he's a very special guest and he's a fellow scarf wearer. Steve said Rich will be talking about his experiences on the show and about current interns. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard replayed the ESPN call that Janks made after hanging up with him. They played the call early in the morning.
After playing the call Howard took a call from Brendan, Robin's ''friend,'' who said that he got a call from someone at ESPN and they were really pissed about the whole thing. Brendan said that the guy who Janks did it to wasn't pissed at all and he was kind of happy he was pranked by Janks.
Randi said that she and Robin spoke at the Christmas party for 5 minutes. Robin didn't remember that. Robin said there were many people there. Randi said that she's not weird, Robin is the one putting coffee up her ass and putting vegetables up her pussy. Howard said that wasn't actually Steve Langford's wife.
Jason came in and said that he never said that Steve's wife was weird. He said he just said that Steve was weird. Jason said he wants out of all party planning from now on.
Robin read a story about colonoscopies and how having them done by the right person can reduce the risk of cancer. Robin said that they have to have the right person trained to do it. Howard said that the guys who do it regularly know what to look for in there. Robin said that it is the training that matters most. Robin said that you shouldn't let a regular doctor do it.
Robin asked why there seems to be so many issues with cruise ships. She said she reads about people falling off ships and stuff. She said that disease can spread too. Robin said that there's something called the Noro Virus that spreads on some ships. Robin had a story about that happening on a ship this week. She said that more than 400 people were struck by this virus on one ship.
Little Mikey called in and told Howard how he and the Bleeding Deacons got together to do that song parody. Mikey said that he and Daniel were talking and Daniel wanted to work with him on the song. They had to record it over the phone. Mikey said that they had collaborated on a few other songs that may not have been good enough. Howard said only the crem de la crem get played on the air. Mikey said there's a rumor that they may be going out on tour too. He said he can't say if that's true or not.
Howard asked Mikey what songs he would do. He said he has a bunch of originals that he would do and he would do some of the Robin parodies. Howard said no one wants to hear his original stuff but Mikey thinks they do.
Robin read a story about a class action settlement with Dannon where they have to pay out damages for falsely advertising health benefits of yogurt.
Robin read some news about the family of Andrew Koenig speaking out about his disappearance. Robin said that his sister was on Larry King Live and she was saying that they have good reason to be concerned. They had some audio of that to play. The sister was saying that he was off his anti-depressants and she didn't know that. Robin said they were saying that he had given back some borrowed stuff before he went on his trip. Robin said there are a few friends of his who have been trying to spread the word on Twitter.com.
Howard said that there were some people mad about him telling Sussy his dream to bike around the world was insane. Robin said that she defended him yesterday and Scott DePace told her to sponsor his trip. Robin isn't going to be doing that.
Howard read one email from a guy who said his friend got hit by two cars while on a bike trip. He didn't last long before going home.
Howard read another email where a guy talked about how he kicked his biking habit by learning to drive a car. There were other people who thought Robin was getting wet talking to Sussy yesterday. Another guy wrote in about how their friend got hit by a car while biking through Italy. He was left for dead on the side of the road. Howard read some other letters from people who had bad experiences going around the world. There were some people who said that this is a good thing and Howard is just limited in his view of the world and he can't accept that people do things other than what he does.
Howard said that he doesn't want anyone coming to him looking for a hand out when they don't have work. He said that he built a career in his 20s and this guy is going out on the road to ride a bicycle for 3 years.
Howard got a geek vs. nerd email. He said that the guy cleared up the difference between the two. The guy said that geeks have something useful that they do but Nerds are interested in stuff that's worthless like Star Wars. The writer said that Bill Gates is a geek while Ralph is a nerd. Howard had to take another break after that.
After the break Robin got right back to her news. She read a news story about infections that cause deaths in hospitals.
Robin read some news about the Olympics. Howard said someone asked why he doesn't talk about them and he said he's not watching them so he can't comment on them. Robin gave Howard a rundown of the number of Medals the U.S. has won. Howard said that Bruce Jenner has turned out to look like a nightmare. He said that it's such a waste of time to train for the Olympics. Howard said that you have to kind of delay your life to train for that nonsense. Howard and Robin talked about the curling in the Olympics and what a waste that is. Howard said they should look into the lives of former Olympic Curlers to find out what they're up to now. Howard said he thinks that Jeff the Drunk was an Olympic Curler at one point.
Howard said sometimes these things work out for people but not for everyone. Robin said that one skater lost her mother just two days before she went out to perform. The girl went out and did it anyway. Howard said that he would skate if he was that chick too. Howard said he would put his mom on ice in the rink and skate right over her. Howard said at least when you skate you can have some kind of career in the future. He said they could do ice capades or Disney on ice or something. Robin said the girl came in third place in the competition last night. She cried after finishing her performance.
Robin read a story about the abuse of legal prescription drugs which is getting to be worse than illegal drugs. Robin said that they want more awareness of the issue since it killed Michael Jackson.
Robin said that Charlie Sheen has entered rehab. He's going to take some time off from his TV show. Robin said that Charlie and his wife are both in rehab right now. Howard said that's a mess of a family. He said they should give the kids to Denise Richards to take care of. Robin said she heard that Martin Sheen's wife was taking care of the kids. Robin said she heard that Social Services was over there the other day too. They have suspended production of the TV show ''Two and a Half Men.'' Howard said he doesn't care about that. Robin said they should just bring in another guy to replace Charlie. Howard said John Stamos would be perfect in that role. Robin said he was right about that and they should get everyone back to work.
Robin read some news about American Idol. She had some audio clips from last night's show. They had some background singers and the mix was way off with that girl. Fred said it was really bad. Howard said that not one of those so-called experts pointed out that the mix was off. Robin had Howard playing a few clips from the show from various performers. They had a clip of Ellen telling one contestant how good she was. That led to Howard goofing on Ellen's giant ears and saying she looks like a mental patient with those bug eyes that are way too bright blue. He said that she has to be wearing contacts. Robin had some audio of Simon bad mouthing one of the performances. Howard said that's the one he thought was actually pretty good.
Robin read a story about a guy in Cuba who went on a hunger strike and died after 85 days. Robin said he's the first to die from a hunger strike against Cuba's government. Robin said they didn't try to stop him from doing it and now he's gone.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ellen has a trap door on her show all of a sudden since Howard mentioned doing that on Idol if he got on. Howard thanked the guy for letting him know.
Robin read a story about the guy who crashed his plane into an IRS building last week. His daughter is saying that he's a hero but she doesn't condone what he did. Howard said that the guy killed people with a plane. Howard said that's weird that she's impressed with that. Robin had some audio of her talking about that and why she thinks he's a hero. She talked about why she thinks that her father burned down his house and things like that as well. Robin said she has backed off the ''hero'' statement but she still talks about why she thinks he did that. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about how that guy was no hero. He killed a man when he crashed that plane into the building.
Robin said that Jayson Williams has been sentenced to 5 years in prison for the death of his limo driver Costas 'Gus' Christofi. She had some audio of Jayson making a statement about the situation. He said that his kids deserve a better father. Robin said that he shot his limo driver and he had also accidentally shot a dog before that at some point. Robin wrapped up after that and Howard ended the show around 11:00am.
JD said he thinks that he might be more outgoing than he was. He said he had a weird time a few months ago. Gary said it must be the pills but JD didn't think he was that changed. He said he's just back to where he was.
JD said he's just taking things in stride. He said he doesn't want to have his highs too high or his lows too low. He said he's trying to keep things in the middle. He said he wasn't making sense so he just stopped talking.
Jon asked JD if things went the way he expected with Taryn. JD said that she contacted him during the AVN awards and asked about being on the show and he doesn't think that she remembers what she did to him.
Jon said that Taryn seemed impressed with Robin not requiring any lube in what she did with anal. Jon asked if they think Robin was embarrassed by that. Gary said that Robin claims that she's only done that twice and now it's off the table so he thinks that she was embarrassed by it. Gary said she has kind of become the anal queen of the show though so he can see why she'd be embarrassed.
Jon asked about the Steve Langford's wife call and if they think Robin really knew it was a fake. Gary said that he thinks that she was roped in at the beginning. Benjy said that you never know for sure on the show. He said even he got roped in during that call. He said he knew that they had a prank coming but he thought this was a real call.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked JD for his philosophy again. He said he loved that. JD said that he tries not to make his highs too high or his lows too low. He likes to keep it in the middle. The caller thought it was funnier earlier.
The caller also brought up Howard's scarf and how only gay guys wear them. Gary said he's not a fan of them either. Jon said he doesn't own one and he would never buy one. Sal and Richard came in and Richard said that Sal wears one. Sal said he does not but then he admitted he does wear one once in a while. Sal said that Benjy wearing the skull cap all day is douchy but wearing a scarf all day is gay.
Sal said that Howard doesn't need a scarf. He said he's a good looking guy and he doesn't need that. Gary said that Howard did say that Johnny Depp wears one.
Jon said that Howard seemed kind of proud of the scarf. Benjy said that maybe he gets chilly on the neck and it keeps him warm.
Sal said the scarf is like a turban around his neck and it doesn't look right. He said that he's got it wrapped up like a diaper and it looks a little odd. Jon asked Sal how many Howard has. Sal said he didn't know. He said that Howard might be right behind Gary who was wearing different colored Pumas every day. Gary said he wasn't color coordinating them like Sal does with his clothes. Gary said that Sal wears make up and gets dressed up every day. Gary asked if he wears different shoes every day. Sal said he does switch them up.
Richard said Sal uses hair spray every day too. Sal said his hair falls flat if he doesn't use it. Sal went off on Richard for smelling from not wearing any products. Sal has to send out an intern to get him his product from his favorite place Bumble and Bumble.
Sal said he uses this stuff called Fake Bake on his face. He said he uses Aveno cream on his forehead because he has a skin condition. He said the Fake Bake stuff is great as a tanning cream. He said this is not make up either, it's just enhancements.
Richard said that they went to Sephora one time when they were out doing interviews on the street. Jason came in and said that Sal wears stuff under his eyes because he has raccoon eyes and he asked him for it because his girlfriend wanted it at the time. He said that she couldn't afford it.
Jon said that Sal is spending hundreds of dollars on this stuff. Sal said he's not doing it that much anymore. He said he's getting older and he's actually thinking of getting some lipo under his chin. Gary said if he lost weight he wouldn't need to do that.
Gary said that Sal was in debt for some ridiculous amount of money. Sal said he's not now. Gary asked if he's going to get lipo after getting out of debt. Sal said he's just thinking out loud. He said that he's kind of thrown in the towel with his looks. He said he has to be happy with what he has.
Jon asked Richard and Sal how it was working with Howard yesterday. They said it was great but Richard said it was cool having him in their studio. He said that he doesn't come in there much.
Sal said they had some fun with the song and Howard seemed kind of uncomfortable doing it. He said that Howard was improving a lot while he was doing the song and they were cracking up. Richard said Sal may have been laughing a little too hard.
Sal said that Fred wrote the song parody and he actually recorded the song first. He did a great Fred Schneider impression but then Howard walked by and did it.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about Howard wearing a scarf and why they let Ralph get away with doing that to Howard. Gary said that Ralph is his stylist and Howard likes what he does so he goes along with it.
The caller asked if Ralph is getting more bold with his styling selections now that Artie is out. Gary asked where the connection is there. The caller said that Artie might call Howard out on the scarf thing. Gary said that Artie might call him out but that's not why Ralph is dressing Howard a certain way.
The caller said that maybe Howard's neck is getting looser and that's why he's wearing a scarf. Gary said that's not it because there are many days he doesn't wear one and he never sees anything.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up the conversation Howard had about his father and how great he was and how Robin fucked that up bringing up how he has anger toward his father. The guys weren't sure where that came from with Robin and why she was talking about it the way she was.
The guys talked about how great Howard's parents are and talked about their own parents. Gary said that he's actually video taped his parents to find out how they met and things like that. Gary said that was the best thing he ever did. He said he interviewed his father about World War II and what that was like. Gary said his father actually broke down crying talking about that stuff. Gary said he was 81 when he interviewed him. Gary said that videotaping is a good thing though. Jon said that even when Howard is goofing on his father you can tell they have respect for each other.
A caller said that it was just about 6 months ago that Sal was like $80,000 in debt and there's no way he's out of it. Sal said that he is about 80 percent out of it now. The caller and Sal went at each other for a minute. They were both yelling at each other. Sal wouldn't let the guy talk and just yelled over him. Sal said that guy can go fuck himself.
Jon took another call from a woman who said that Gary is looking awesome these days and he should be giving fashion tips. She said that Gary looks so much better when he dresses professionally. She said that she doesn't get the scarf thing with Howard.
The caller suggested that Jon wear a button up shirt too but Jon said he's very uncomfortable wearing them. Gary said he's seen the look on Jon's face when he has to get dressed up and he's very uncomfortable.
Gary said that he has been wearing some clothes he bought when he lost weight the last time. Gary said that he tends to stick to the same 15 t-shirts usually though.
Gary said Sal will wear a nice button up shirt and he'll take it off during the day and walk around in a t-shirt. Sal said he puts it on to go out to Rick's for lunch. He keeps the shirt nice that way.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he doesn't know what the scarf looks like but he thinks that it would be a good look for Howard. He said if it's just draped around his shoulders then maybe it looks good.
Gary said he just saw pictures of Johnny Depp with a scarf on and he still doesn't get it. Sal said it's just a look and if he digs it then so be it.
A caller asked Gary if he thinks that Robin has been jealous of Howard's relationship with his parents. Gary didn't think that's what it was. He said Robin has a decent relationship with her mother now. It may have taken a while to get there though. The caller said that Robin's take on Howard's story was very strange today. They had to go to break after that.
Jon moved on to talk about the bathroom problems there and how they're going to try and fix that. Gary said they put a bathroom in there so they could have their guests use that instead of walking out in the lobby to go. Gary said it was supposed to be just for guests. Then they realized that they had to use it too. Gary said they talked about who should be in and who shouldn't be in. Things were pretty clean for a while but in the past year everyone has been using it and it's not as clean as it should be.
Jon said Tim Sabean is one of the suspects right now and he asked Gary if he buys into that. Gary said that Tim hasn't stepped in to defend himself. Jared Fox was in and said that Tim is actually out today. Benjy joked that Tim was home with diarrhea today.
Gary said that they're going to key card the door there for the bathroom. He said he's hoping that they can set it up to use the same keys they have to get into the compound. Gary said that he hopes he can set it up so they can block everyone except the certain people he will let in there.
Gary said that they'll set Ronnie up with a card so he can let guests in there. Gary said he will be in charge of the list himself. He said he thinks that the people who are there in the morning will be the only people who can use it. Gary said other people don't need to be part of it. Tim will probably be off the list, so will Jared. Gary said he sees people like Tracey, Richard, Sal and others using it. He said that using it during the show is so they can hear the show. He said that he made them wire the bathroom for sound because he'd have to pee during the show and he needs to hear what's going on.
Jon asked Sal about Howard bringing up how he might be a suspect. Sal said that he hasn't shit in there and he's not known for doing that there. Richard said he only urinates in that bathroom too. He said he goes out to the other bathroom or goes at home. Richard said when you shit in that bathroom there are people knocking and stuff. He said you always feel rushed.
Jon asked Sal and Richard about how they piss together in the bathroom. Richard said it's like women who are on the same cycle, they just have to piss at the same time. They also talk about stuff in there and come up with ideas. Gary didn't believe that was true. Richard said that they have conversations and don't want to lose their train of thought so they go to the bathroom at the same time.
Gary said that's very odd. Sal said he's not crazy about peeing with Richard but Richard asks him to go in there with him. He said he feels bad not going. He said he likes to make Richard feel good. He said that Richard has asked for a window seat at a restaurant so they can watch the snow fall during snow storms. He said that he and Richard do a lot of stuff together. Sal ended his thoughts with ''God this is gay...''
Jon took a call from a guy who asked the guys what they would do if they had to get dressed up one day just to fuck with JD to make him dress up. Gary said that he's seen him dressed up and he can do it. Gary said they don't have to get dressed up at work. Richard said that JD wore an Artie Lange jacket to the Christmas Party. JD said it was cold out and he gave it to the coat check lady when he got there.
Jon asked if anyone gets dressed up for work. They said that Ronnie, Steve Langford, Tim, Jared and some others get dressed up. Gary said many of them took the job so they don't have to get dressed up every day.
Another caller said he thought Robin was right on with her comments about Howard and his father. He said that he is successful but Ben feels that his son should be much more serious. He thinks that he'd be happier if he was a cardiologist or something. Gary said that's not even what Robin was saying though.
Benjy asked what it was that Howard said that would lead him to believe that. The caller said Howard told a story about what his father did for someone else and not what he did for him. He said that Howard had just talked about his anger and then he tells this story about his father doing something for someone else. Jon said he did tell that story about his father buying him that instrument so he could start a band. The caller said that maybe Ben was just trying to help him explore different avenues. Gary said he thinks that they read too much into some things sometimes.
Benjy brought up the Rosie clip that Howard played and how he thinks that Howard misinterpreted that. He gave his explanation and said he doesn't think it was a sexual dream at all.
Jon asked Gary if they're going to do the CBS Early Show next week. Gary said he's pretty sure they're doing it but they have to come over and look at the facility. Gary said he's been in touch with the producer over there and they're going to work things out. They had to end the show after that.
Howard started the show taking a phone call from a guy who said he tuned into American Idol last night and he can't believe how disgusting Ellen looks. Howard said he watched the show last night. Robin did too. Howard said that most stand-up comics know when they're bombing and Ellen must know that she's bombing. He said the show is really falling flat this year and maybe Simon is annoyed with the way things are going this season.
Howard said that Ellen doesn't have anything to say. He said that the judges are all going with what Simon says and not coming up with their own opinions. Howard said Ellen is looking odd and she seems to be uncomfortable. He said that she must be thinking that she's not coming off very well on the show too. He said that no one loves her on this show and she's just annoying with the giant ears and the eyeballs popping out of her head. Howard said all of the boys on the show last night were awful too.
Howard talked about a concert that was thrown with Jackson Browne throwing it. It was a ''No Nukes'' concert that he just saw on DVD. He said this was in the early 70's and the concert was great to watch. Howard said he was watching it and that's what he was talking about when they talk about ''star power.'' He said he left the DVD in the car but he should have brought it up to play. He said that the bands in that DVD were great. He talked about some of the performances on it that were amazing to him.
Howard said that it's not the big voice or the big song it's their command of the stage that impresses you. Robin said the kids on American Idol don't have any feeling when they're singing. They don't have any gravitas.
Howard said that the kids on that show should watch Bonnie Raitt. Howard said that only one or two people were okay last night. He said that he would have berated those kids if he was a judge. Howard said he thinks it's a big career mistake for Ellen to have taken that job. she's coming off really bad and looks really weird. He said she looks like a Keebler Elf or from middle earth.
Howard said that he knows he looks horrible but he's not known for looking good. He said Ellen is a Covergirl and they're airbrushing so heavily that she looks like a model in the ads. He said they go to the judging panel and the show just falls flat with her.
Howard said the reason you like Simon is because he says what people are thinking. Robin said he gives them advice too. She said that if you just say they're doing okay it doesn't help them at all.
Howard said that if he got the offer to take over for Simon he's not sure he would now. He said the show is falling apart. He said that he can't justify watching the show for two hours. He said he's still watching but he's not sure how long he can do that.
A caller called in as a Keebler Elf and said that Ellen is not employed by them. Howard said the guy had a good idea with that call but he dragged it out. He said that he could have just said he was pissed that he said Ellen looked like them.
Howard said his mom told him she had a friend who would read so many books that she wouldn't remember anything from what she read. She said that there is no such thing as multitasking and you can't do more than one thing at a time.
Howard said he was agreeing with his mother and she was still arguing. Howard said she wants to talk to someone at CNN about it but she's not sure who to call. Howard said he told her to call into his show and maybe someone from the network will hear her. He said that it's really irritating her and driving her crazy. Howard said he tried to explain why they do it but she didn't want to hear it.
That led to him and Robin talking about the killer whale that killed a trainer at Sea World yesterday. Howard talked about this woman who was killed and how she had grown up wanting to work with sea life like that. Robin said that there were different reports about how she died and one said she fell in and another said the whale came up and dragged her into the water. Howard said that she may have been shaken to death. He said that they're not calling for the whale to be killed or anything. He said he's not sure why they have these whales in there because they are wild animals. Robin said they do change when they're in captivity. Howard said he agrees with that.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that he doesn't know why he likes Idol so much. He complained about some of the stuff on the show and Howard said that he's not sure he wants to talk about this anymore. Howard was going to let him go but King hates when he hangs up on him.
Howard and King talked more about the show and how disturbing Ellen looks on TV. Howard said Kara is horrible as a judge on that show too. He said that Randy has something of an opinion but he's sick of him too. He said the show is done after Simon leaves. It won't have any credibility once Simon is gone.
Howard said he won't work with Ellen. He said that she says she won't work with him but now that he's seen her on the show he wouldn't work wit her. He said she's the kiss of death on that show.
Howard said he likes that Ryan Seacrest is losing his looks this season. He said the show needs a complete overhaul after this season. He said he would change the whole show if he was offered the job. He's not sure he would take it at this point either because it might be a bad career move. Howard said the show is in big trouble.
Howard said he has never been bored to tears like he was last night. He said that he would have talked about how there were only two people last night who have any shot at being stars. They went over the whole country to find these people and they didn't find much of anything. Most of them were horrendous.
Howard was goofing on Gary so Gary shot back at him about wearing a scarf and goofed on him about that. Howard told Gary that he has no fashion sense at all so he's not sure why he would make fun of him about that. Gary said that he would never wear a scarf. Howard said he heard them talking about that on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and he's not sure why they're surprised about him wearing one.
Gary sent Fred a link to some audio for Howard and Fred did an impression of Howard's mom saying he wasn't able to multitask. Howard got back into that and goofed on his mom a little more doing an impression of her.
Beth is in Florida so she called him about quarter to 9 and asked if he was watching the show. He said he didn't know the show was on so he hung up the phone and ran off to watch the show. He said it was very upsetting that he was missing the show. He said he was exhausted by the time the show was over. He said that he figured he'd try to get to sleep but he had to beat off. He said if he beats off he can get to sleep faster. It's like taking a sleeping pill for him.
Howard said that's what he would do when he was a kid so he's trained to do it. He said that women tend to be wide awake after having sex. He said that he's sorry about that but that's the way it goes.
Howard said he was watching some of this Riley Steele porn. He said that this chick is coming in today and she's way too good looking to be in porn. Howard said she has a great body and she bangs like a champ. Howard said he saw her in those long socks that come up to her thigh. He said it drives him insane. He said that she left the socks on and she was sucking and fucking this guy. He said he's not sure how the guys can hold out with her.
Howard said that they're starting to sell 3D TV sets already. He said there is no 3D content yet though. He said that's ridiculous. Howard said they don't even have a 3D DVD player or anything. He said you still have to war the 3D glasses too. Robin said that they say that the glasses may be bad for your vision. Howard said he believes that because he was having trouble with his eyes during Avatar.
Howard said he was doing research for Riley yesterday and he was able to get into her site for free. He said she really does bang like a champ. He said she was in every position and she was banging like crazy. He said he loves hard core contact but he never gets that far into it when he's doing it. Howard said that Beth is coming back tonight and he'll be able to bang her no problem. He said he'd like to be able to do what he saw in those porn videos but he won't last that long. Howard said he and Beth have their positions they like and they stick with those.
Howard said Riley was making a lot of noise in the videos. He said he loves that. Howard said he'd love that from Robin if he was doing her.
Howard said they told them to have Riley on the show because she's like a Jenna Jameson type. He said he thinks they're right about that. Howard said she's super hot. He said that he was going to beat off last night to that stuff so he took his tissues and thought about one girl who blew him once. He said that he wasn't even dating this chick. He said he was just hanging out with her. He said she was in her panties and she was just blowing him. He said they were messing around and she got into her panties and blew him. She told him that she couldn't believe she actually liked him.
Howard said he beat off and he was done in about 2 minutes. He said that he had to throw out the tissues so he wouldn't accidentally leave them on the table. He said he didn't want to leave any evidence. He said he got up and did that and got rid of the evidence. He said it kind of woke him up but then he was able to fall right to sleep.
Howard said Robin threw the shower for Shuli's wife yesterday. Howard said it's wild that she was even thinking about her. Howard said that no one even thinks for a minute about Shuli. Robin said that Shuli is going to be a father in a week. Howard said that the shower was also for Richard's fiancee Kristin. Robin said that she's actually excited to marry Richard. Howard said he's worried about both of them. He said he's not sure what's going to happen there. Howard said he may not come back next year so he's not sure what will happen to everyone.
Howard said if things don't come together Shuli is going to have a baby and he's not sure what he's going to do with a wife and a kid. Robin said that Richard will be alright because his fiancee will take care of him. Howard said that's going to be great. He said a woman really loves a house husband.
Howard asked Robin if she picked up the whole tab. Robin said she and Pam Sabean split the bill. She said it turned out very nice. Howard asked if Robin is saving any money. Robin said of course she is. She has investments and things too. Howard said that she seems to be spending a lot of money. Robin said she's doing fine. Howard said he may have to have a talk with her off the air because he doesn't like what she's doing. He doesn't even know what she is doing.
Howard asked Robin about this trip to Guatemala and how that came up. Robin said she's not doing it for someone else. She said that the U.N. is doing it and she's going along with them. Howard asked who turned her on to it. Robin said she gives to this organization every year and they wanted to tell her more about themselves so they started this dialog that led to the trip.
Howard said he doesn't believe Robin. Howard wanted to make sure that Robin was actually saving some money. He wasn't sure he believed what she was telling him. Robin said she actually wanted to go to Africa but it ended up being Guatemala.
Howard said that Carly Simon and James Taylor were singing together in that performance. Howard said they were a great couple.
Howard said he thinks that James Taylor should watch that DVD. He said that Carly and James aren't talking at this point but he thinks that it would help if James went back and watched. He thinks that it would remind hi that there was a time they were in love and had kids together. He said they had a chemistry that was really electrifying. He said it would remind him that they had something unbelievable.
Howard said the Howard TV guys had the video. They showed that and Robin watched as she ran of after crapping her pants. Howard said he likes that EbaumsWorld. He said Richie Wilson sent him that video. He said that Richie sends him stuff like that all the time and he sends a lot of good ones.
Howard said that Captain Janks is saying that the news anchor was suspended because of his prank call the other day. Gary said that wasn't true. He said the guy was suspended but not for the Janks thing. He got suspended over some comments he made about Bud Seilig. Janks was on the line saying he wasn't sure what the suspension was over.
Gary said that there were a lot of articles about the suspension on the web yesterday. Janks said that he would feel terrible if the guy lost his job over him. Howard thanked Janks for that and took some more calls.
Howard took a call from Cyrus who had fallen asleep. Howard said that Tracy Morgan is coming in today. they also have Riley Steele coming in. Howard said Cyrus will snore. He listened to him snoring on the phone for a few seconds.
Gary came in and said that he got the quote of what that reporter said about Bud Seilig and it didn't seem so bad. Gary read it to Howard and Howard said that maybe the show isn't supposed to be controversial. Howard said maybe ESPN doesn't like that kind of thing. Gary said maybe that's what it is. Howard said they hire these guys to have an opinion and then they get upset when he does. Howard said it's hard to work in the business and give your opinion and then get fired for it.
Howard said that's like Clear channel firing him and then refusing to pay his contract. Howard said they knew what they were getting and that he was getting fined from time to time. He said that's odd that they want to hire him again now.
The Barbi twins were on the phone because they're involved in animal activism. They wanted to talk about the killer whale thing and how they have to leave wild animals alone. One of the twins was going on and on about declawing cats and how they're trying to get that stopped. They said it's like amputation.
Howard said that it's great that they're into caring about animals and they're probably sitting there in their panties talking about this.
The Barbi twins wanted to promote a movie called ''Skin Trade'' and it's about fashion and the fur business. They wanted to talk about how cruel and bloody that business is. Howard asked about why some people can get away with wearing fur all the time. The girls were talking about how some faux fur is actually dogs and cats fur coming from China. Howard said he didn't know that.
Howard said he does eat some animals and he wears leather. He said he saw a really cool wallet he wanted but he didn't think that he could buy it because he was against killing an ostrich. He said he found one that was made of stingray skin and he really doesn't give a fuck about stingrays. He said that's what killed the crocodile hunter.
The girls were saying that it's all about murdering things for no reason. Howard said that he won't buy elephant skin or anything like that. He said he doesn't want just plain leather either. The girls were saying it's still wrong to kill stingrays. She said anything that feels pain should have the right to live in their own environment. Robin said they don't know that plants don't have feelings.
Howard was talking mostly to Shane who was going on and on about how they can't kill any animals. Howard asked where Shane was located. She said she was near Beverly Hills. Howard said he wants to know what shelter they're going to so he can bang her silly. Howard asked if she's menopausal yet. She said she's not but she's she's got a light flow.
Howard asked if it was okay to kill head lice and things like that. Shane sounded like she was even against that. Then she was saying that they should clone animals so they can have meat. Robin and Howard said that's not natural though. Shane said that's fine as long as they don't have to kill more animals.
Howard and Shane talked about the cat that he and Beth adopted and how that cat is declawed. Howard said that they didn't do that but the cat is nervous over it. He said that's why the cat chews on her fur.
Shane told Howard that Willie Nelson's daughters are great singers. Howard told them to sing for him then. He said he'll judge them over the phone. The girls weren't doing it so Howard sang a Willie Nelson song for them instead. Shane told him he sounded great. The girls still weren't singing. Shane was asking them to do something.
Howard said he's going to bring Shane in there and make her choose between a maggot and a cockroach and threaten to kill one of them. Howard said that these girls are all whacked out of their brains. He said that they sit around thinking about this stuff all day long because they have nothing better to do.
Howard asked Shane what she would do if she had to pick between a maggot and a cockroach. Shane said she saw them do that with someone else one time. She said that she couldn't choose between the two and she would just pray for both.
Shane told Howard about how she once asked a woman if she was wearing a real fur coat and ended up telling her that she was going to pray for all of the animals that died for that coat. She thinks that it made the woman really think about what she was doing. Howard said Shane is really kooky.
Howard said he and Beth are going to adopt a few maggots soon. He said that he had to move on and asked what they were promoting. They talked about that movie they mentioned earlier and talked about some other stuff. They were all talking over each other so it was hard to follow. Howard said he had no idea what they were saying. He said they had the chance to plug and they all talked over one another.
Howard said he gets crazy sometimes and he's escorted a fly outside of his house. He said that he realizes what an asshole he can be when it comes to killing pests like that. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Howard TV has some new original TV shows coming up. They have DJ Black Cloud about Scott the Engineer's gig out in Las Vegas. Howard said he heard it's a scream. He said on March 2nd they have The Bonus Show where they have Jon Hein and Rachel Fine hosting. They have behind the scenes stuff that they talk about. On March 24th they have a Bubba the Love Sponge hosted show. They also have new stuff coming up in April where they have Mr. Skin hosting the show. Howard said that Mr. Skin is a natural with the topic and it's one of the best uses for him that he's seen.
Howard said the guys were out in the hall talking about how stunningly hot Riley Steele is. Gary said that she's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in porn. Gary said that she's the kind of girl you wonder why she's not modeling. Robin asked why she isn't. Howard said it's always weird. He said one of her parents abandoned her at a young age.
Howard said that Riley was way out of control. She was banging the father of a kid she was babysitting for when she was only 15. Howard said she's super hot and probably shouldn't even be in porn. He said that's smart though. He said that she will probably do very well in porn. Howard said there are a lot of ugly chicks in porn.
Gary said the guys in the back in the TV room are saying that the picture on Riley's license is probably the hottest they've ever seen.
Howard said that Pete was following Tim Sabean around like a moth to a flame. Fred said he's had Pete do that to him. He said that Pete was looking to talk to him but he had to go into the studio.
Howard asked Pete if he just gets drawn into their orbit or something. Pete said it's exactly like that. Howard said he's heard that Pete will get drawn into someone and almost walk into them. Pete said he's not sure what that's all about but it's something he has to do. It's like a compulsion for him.
Pete said Pete the Asian is from the same town so he was joking around with a friend of his about the money thing so that's why he's mad at him.
Howard said he heard that Pete was out with his girl the other day and some of the guys saw that. Will came in and said she's hot. He said he saw her out with Pete and it makes you wonder what she sees in Pete. Pete said she's cool. Howard said that's good for Pete. Howard said she must be really into him. Pete said he never thought that he'd fine someone like that. He said he's pretty sure that she's 100 percent female too. Howard thanked Pete for coming in and let him go.
Howard told Riley that he was watching some of the video on her web site and asked about the high socks she was wearing. Howard said she was really hot on there.
Gary said that she apparently doesn't like to wear underwear. Howard asked if that was true and she showed him it was. Howard asked Riley where she grew up. She grew up in San Diego.
Robin asked about the father of the kid she was babysitting at 15. She confirmed that she was doing that guy. Howard asked about how she got the job and how old the kids were. She said one was 10 and one was 6. She said that she had been into porn from a young age. She said she had a lot of guy friends who would watch porn and they would just put it on. Riley said that it may have been their dad's porn but she's not sure.
Howard said that he read that Riley was masturbating in pre-school. She said she didn't know what she was doing, she just knew it felt good. Riley said that she found out about it later on and she didn't know she was up to that.
Howard asked Riley about what some people say about porn stars being mentally ill. Riley said that everyone has a hard life and you can get into any business and people have had hard lives in those too.
Howard asked Riley if her father tried to get her to stop masturbating when she was in pre-school. She said he never said anything to her about that. She said she doesn't know what she was thinking about back then but these days she thinks about girls. She said she does need a cock but girls are physically attractive to her.
Howard said Riley must be mostly lesbian. She said she doesn't really connect with guys on an emotional level so maybe she is. Riley said she was really young when she started having sex. She started in elementary school. She said people would see them and tell her dad about it.
Howard asked what happened to her mom. Riley said that she left the family when she was just one year old. Howard asked if she sees her at all now. She said that she doesn't but she has 5 brothers and sisters. Robin asked why she was the one she left. Riley wasn't sure. Howard asked if she ever asks about that. Riley said that she would go to her mom's house on the weekends and she never liked it. She said she lived with her dad and her grandparents and she loved them.
Howard asked about how Riley got started into having sex with guys. She said she started doing BJs to guys in high school. Howard asked how she learned to handle a guy the right way. Riley said that she's improved her skills a lot over the years. Riley said that Eric Everhart taught her the most. She said that you have to relax when you do it and just let your spit be a natural lube.
Howard asked Riley when she's with a guy in her normal life, is a normal size penis okay. She said it's almost a relief. Howard said he saw one guy pounding into her with a cock that looked like it was 10 inches. She said it was actually 8 but it was really thick. Howard asked how those guys last so long with her. She said she's not sure but maybe they're on drugs or something.
Riley said that the guys can go too long and you can get raw. She said she can handle it though. She said she can stay wet the whole time. Howard said she looked turned on in that video he saw on her web site. Howard gave her a plug for the site which is at RileySteele.com. You can also get her FleshLight at FleshlightGirls.com
Howard asked about this guy she was doing at 15. She said that he was a neighbor who hired her to baby sit. She said that she was very comfortable with him. Howard asked how it happened. She said that she would flirt a little bit more and stay later when she was babysitting. She said she would go pantyless and bend over to give him the signal. Riley said there was a lot of foreplay going on before anything happened. She said they would kiss and stuff and one day it just didn't stop.
Howard asked if the kids were asleep in bed. Riley said they were. Howard asked how many visits it was. She said it was about a month and it was like twice a week that she was going over there. Howard said she ended up blowing the dad. She said that's what she did. Howard said that's wild. Riley said she used to be ashamed of that but not anymore.
Howard asked if the guy got blown a few more times. She said that she did him a few more times but it was always awkward. She said that he was friends with her father so it was very weird. She said she stopped babysitting for him. Howard asked if the dad ever found out. She said that she hopes he didn't.
Howard asked Riley how she got into porn. Riley said she saw some porn when she was a kid and it was a bunch of kids in a hot tub. She said that it was a bunch of girls and then she saw another one and she knew that's what she wanted to do. Riley said that she started to watch Howard's show when she was very young and that helped too. Howard said that they did have an influence on people. Robin said she wasn't sure they should be proud of that.
Howard asked Riley about how she got into her first movies and she filled him in the details. Howard also heard that she got it on with someone in Kid Rock's bondage room. Riley said that they were going to dance for Kid Rock one night and they walked into his room and he had full bondage stuff in the room. She said it was pretty hard core stuff. Howard said that's great that he turned the room over to them like that. Riley said that she had met Kid Rock before at his concerts. She said that they dance on stage during his shows.
Howard wanted to dance with Riley so he asked Fred for some music. Fred played some Black Eyed Peas ''Boom Boom Pow'' and they both danced. Howard said Riley is a great dancer. Her skirt went right up.
Howard found out that this bondage room was at the Hard Rock hotel out in Vegas. Howard said it's odd how they gave him a bowling room and they gave Kid Rock a bondage room. Riley said that it was the first time that room had been used so it wasn't there when Howard was there.
Howard read that Riley didn't have sex for two years after that first time. Riley said that she and her friends were giving blow jobs to other guys in school. Howard read that she was going to lesbian parties in school. Riley said that those parties are just a bunch of girls getting together in real life to hang out, drink and just mess around. She said that they have stripper poles and stuff at the parties. Riley said there would be older women there too and they were just there to have fun. Howard asked what they would do there. She said they would dance and just have fun.
Howard said Riley sounds like a lot of fun. He asked if she has to get tested for diseases and stuff. She said that they do test often and that's the great part about being in the business.
Howard gave Riley some plugs for her FleshLight and asked what that was. She said it was a mould of her vagina that you can jerk off into.
Howard read that she likes to have a Spider-Man. She said that's when a guy jerks off into his hand and throes it into her face. She said she loves that. She wants to do it on film. Riley said that it's kind of degrading but she wants to do it on film.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if she's still available for babysitting. He said if she's not, what's the move that can get a guy laid with the babysitter. Howard asked Riley if she's a millionaire yet. She said that she's not yet but she's working on it.
Howard played a clip from one of her movies, Bad Girls 2, where she's gagging and then getting banged. Howard asked if she like dirty talk. She said she does. Howard said he had another clip from the movie ''Honey'' where this guy is calling her a whore. Riley said she was playing a whore in the movie and that's why he was calling her a whore. In the clip the guy was telling her to suck his balls and she was gagging on him.
Riley said that she didn't even know what that guy was going to do to her. She said it turned out to be kind of fun.
Howard said Tracy Morgan was there and he wanted to meet her. Howard asked if that was okay. Riley said that was fine. Tracy came into the studio and said hello to Riley. Howard told him to take it easy on her. He must have been a little rough on her.
Howard asked Tracy if he was hitting on her. Tracy said he was. Howard asked if she was the hottest porn star he had ever seen. Tracy said she was. Tracy was going crazy over her. He told her that was some awesome stuff. Tracy said that her toes looked like skittles too. Tracy said he loves to check out everything in porn movies.
Howard said that Riley's movies are very high quality. Howard asked if she's ever had sex with a black man. She said she hadn't. Howard asked Tracy if the black man is good at sex. Tracy said he can't speak for all black men. Howard said that some of the porn girls are threatened when they have sex with black men. Riley said that's true and people want to kill you if you do have sex with a black man. Howard said that it's a sad state of affairs when that is still going on.
Tracy said that no one ever goes off on black women for having sex with white guys. He said that's where Tiger Woods went wrong. He didn't have any black women that he was banging.
Howard told Tracy about some of the stuff that Riley was talking about and Tracy was going nuts over her. He said that she would probably break him. He said that she'd have him open like a research monkey.
Tracy was saying that he would even eat her butthole. He said he wants her to spit on his dick like she hates it and maybe write some racial epithets on it.
Howard said that he would love it if a woman would lick his asshole. Tracy said he gets that all the time. He said he gets his salad tossed all the time. Howard said he would feel bad if his woman had to do that to him. Howard asked how she does that kind of thing. Riley said that a guy can be on his back with his legs over his head. Tracy did an impression of what a guy sounds like when he's getting his ass licked.
Howard said he must be a little uptight. Howard said that Tracy has to get on her web site. Tracy said he likes women who are like 200 pounds with a C-section scar on them. He said he doesn't discriminate.
Howard asked Riley about a piece of jewelry that fell off of her. It was a vibrating necklace. She demonstrated it on Tracy. Howard asked how it's used. She said that you take it and put it right on there. Tracy was trying to see what was going on there. Riley didn't have any panties on so Tracy was trying to get a look.
Howard said it was great to meet Riley today. He gave her some more plugs for DigitalPlayground.com and her web site.
Howard said he was reading about Tracy being engaged. Tracy said he did that article a long time ago. He said that was long before he met Riley. Howard said that he seems to be taken with her. Tracy said that he wouldn't be able to keep her because he would be way too jealous. He said she'd have to walk around in the house ass naked all the time. Tracy said that he would hit her where she doody's at. Howard asked if she does anal. Riley said that she likes the pain. Tracy said he would do ass to mouth and more. Riley said that she's never done that. Tracy said he would eat her like a Gyro.
Howard gave Riley some more plugs and started to wrap up with her a short time later. Howard said that it was a great day to have someone so beautiful there. Gary said that he wanted to get her on the Sybian and give the controls over to Tracy.
Howard told Tracy about the Sybian and Tracy was saying that he might have to cum too. He said he might have to pull his meat out.
The guys set up the Sybian and Gary showed him how to control it. Howard told Riley to be honest while she's on it and be very vocal about it. Howard said that Riley might need it at 50 percent to start out. Tracy was confused by the equipment. He said he's never had anything like that.
Howard told Tracy to jack it up slow and not just bring it up to 100 percent. Gary showed Tracy what to do and they started her out with the vibration. Tracy was fine with the controls. Riley was at about 25 percent and she was already getting off. Howard had them bring it up to 50 percent. Tracy jacked it up some more and she was getting into it more and more. She was moaning the whole time she was on it. Riley was done about a minute into it.
Howard gave Riley some more plugs and wrapped up with her. Tracy asked if he could keep the piece from the Sybian that she had sat on. Howard asked Riley if that was okay. Riley was fine with it. Howard asked Tracy where he's going to keep that. He said he's going to put that next to his Muhammad Ali gloves in his house. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard said Tracy can stick with 30 Rock but he can start to do films like Belushi and Aykroyd. Howard asked Tracy how all of this came about. Tracy said they won a Golden Globe a couple of years ago and that was the room to do it in. Howard asked what he said. Tracy didn't remember. Tracy said he gave the speech and the whole room lit up. He said that Al Pacino and Clint Eastwood were there and they were cracking up. Tracy said that a lot of people at Warner Brothers saw it and that made them aware of him.
Howard said that Tracy has everything under control now and he's even talking to his mom. Tracy said he and his mother had their differences but they're talking now. Howard asked if he has the feeling that she's just talking to him because he's a big star now. Tracy said that she's going to love him unconditionally. Howard asked why they stoped talking then. Tracy said when he was a kid he needed a daddy to keep him under control. He said he dealt drugs but he wasn't a drug dealer. He said he didn't want to make that a career. He couldn't deal with the crack heads. Tracy said he didn't like the job and he was afraid he was going to get killed.
Tracy said that it took for his friend Alan to get murdered for him to get out of that. He said he ended up taking his ass to the Apollo to work out some comedy stuff.
Howard said that SNL didn't seem to know what to do with him. Tracy said that they have to find your voice and figure out how to work that into the show. Howard said he heard that Lorne Michaels went to him saying they didn't just hire him as a token black man, they hired him because he's funny. Tracy said there were people telling him that's why they hired him and he didn't realize it until Lorne told him that.
Howard asked Tracy what he did when Lorne told him that. Tracy said his defence came down and he started to feed on it. Howard said that Tina Fey came along and knew how to write for him. Howard said Tracy fucked up and almost lost that though.
Tracy said that success doesn't come with instructions. Howard told him to look at his friend Artie. Tracy was drinking so heavily that he almost lost his foot. Tracy said he was just partying. He said he had money and fame and thought he was just having fun. Tracy said he didn't know about diabetes. He said he thought it was just like a cough or something.
Howard said that Tracy's wife was with him for 21 years and he must see that as a failure. Tracy said that she was there for him and he doesn't blame her for what happened. Howard said he must love that he's getting pussy now. Tracy said he is not officially engaged like Howard thought he was. Howard asked who this woman is. Tracy told him to fill him in because he seems to know.
Howard said Tracy has a couple of killer snakes in his house. Tracy said he has them locked up so they can't get out but they're not going to attack him as long as he keeps them fed. Howard said he has some sharks too. Tracy said that reminds him about the kind of people who are out there in this world. Tracy said that he was always a shark himself. He said he was never a fighter though. He said he was a lover.
Howard asked Tracy about his brother Jimmy who was in the 5 Percenters. Tracy said he had meningitis when he was younger so he was in a wheelchair. Tracy talked about what a tough guy he was. He said he wasn't a thug or a gangster or anything. Tracy said that he kept the family in check.
Howard said that Tracy likes to stay in his apartment these days. Tracy said that he would go out with Howard. He said he can't hang out in the clubs with people who are into stuff he's not into. Tracy said that he's not going to put himself in the situation where they're going to fuck with him. He said he's done that already and he's done with that.
Howard said that Tracy's foot got infected from the ankle bracelet he had to wear. That's why he almost lost his foot. Tracy said that was the bottom for him. He said that if your ass gets comfortable down there, that's when you get fucked up.
Howard talked about how Tracy's doctor said he had to take care of that diabetes thing or he'd lose his foot. Tracy said he told the doctor he wasn't taking anything from him. He said he wasn't going to give up his foot that easy.
Howard said Tracy has never been in a big blockbuster movie like this ''Cop Out.'' Howard said he must have died and gone to heaven doing this. Howard said they treat you very well on a movie set like that. Tracy said he never even goes to craft services, he just stays in his trailer and has food brought to him.
Howard told Tracy that if this movie makes money he's going to be offered a lot of movie roles. Tracy said he knows what to do. Howard told him that he can see ''Cop Out 2, 3, 4, 5...'' and he should stick with that.
Howard said if the movie makes $40 million he'll get a few scripts. He said if the movie makes 80-100 million then it's a whole new ball game. Howard said if it's $150 million then it's a whole new ball game. Howard told Tracy to stay indoors and be ready for more.
Tracy said that he's having a fun time and he may just go out and do a set at a comedy club. Howard told him to stay inside. He wants him to put his ankle bracelet on this weekend. Tracy said ''Never!'' He said he's never going to do that again.
Tracy said he did a movie before this movie that's coming out in April. He said that one is with Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock. He said that one is going to be huge. He said that one is called ''Death at a Funeral'' and it's a remake of a British movie. He said that one has a bunch of big names in it too.
Howard asked Tracy about this ''Cop Out'' movie and if it's like 48 Hours. Tracy said that it's a privilege to make people laugh in a movie like that. Tracy said he and Bruce Willis had lunch before the movie and 60 days later that was his buddy. He said they had a great time doing the movie.
Tracy said that he's well grounded and anyone at SNL, other than Sheri Oteri or Chris Kattan, would tell him that. Howard said he should have invited those two to the movie premiere. Tracy said he would never do that. Howard asked what Sheri is doing now. Tracy said he's not sure. He said he knows she's not doing a movie with Bruce Willis though.
Tracy said that after the first scene they did on this movie he and Bruce knew it was going to work. Kevin Smith directed the movie so Howard brought up how he was kicked off a flight recently. Howard asked why he was flying coach. Tracy said he'll even do that sometimes. He said if the flight is 45 minutes or an hour he'll fly coach.
Howard said that Kevin Smith has some problem with him but he's not sure what that is. Howard said that the airline kicking him off might be a wake up call from him. Tracy said that Kevin is his friend so he's not saying anything. He said that Kevin is happy at that weight so he's fine with that. Howard asked if he's too fat. Tracy said he wasn't going to get sucked into that. Howard told him he has to help Kevin so he doesn't lose his feet.
Howard asked Tracy if he's hanging out with Bruce. Tracy said that guy works a lot. He said he's making a movie right now. Howard asked if Bruce gave him his cell phone number. Tracy said he does have his number and he has called him. Howard asked what he's spoken to him about. Tracy said he's not going to say what it was about. Howard asked if he had to fuck Bruce to get the movie role. Tracy said that guy is a great guy and he was great to work with.
Howard asked Tracy if he was looking for weed with that phone call. Tracy said he's going to call Howard the District Attorney from now on. He said that he wasn't looking for weed. Howard asked him what he would need to know at 4 in the morning. Tracy said it was something about the script, that's all.
Howard asked Tracy if he's worried about the movie coming out this weekend because of the snow storm that's coming through. Tracy said that could actually help them because people might go out to spend time with the family.
Howard asked Tracy about the movie and Tracy filled him in on the kind of action stuff they're doing in the movie. Tracy told him about the shooting and stuff that goes on. Howard asked if he's ever been shot for real. Tracy said he hasn't but he's seen some shootings.
Howard told Tracy not to go Hollywood like Eddie Murphy did. Tracy said he won't do that. He said that he loves coming on Howard's show and he tells people that when they ask him about being on the show. Howard said that's right and he got to get a girl off on the show today.
Tracy said he did Letterman last Monday. Howard asked if he brought up his scandal. Tracy said he has his own sex scandals and he'd put some shit out there about Robin next week. He said that Robin is so fine. He said she's not pretty or cute, she's fine. Howard told him about the anal sex thing and said that she's moist back there. Tracy said he loves that. He said he loves some discharge. Tracy said that his company is going to be discharge production.
Howard gave Tracy some plugs for the movie ''Cop Out'' which comes out tomorrow. He's also playing Caroline's on Broadway in March. You can get tickets at Carolines.com. Howard suggested you see him before he gets too big.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this is the last time Tracy will be on the show. Once he gets big he's done with the show. Tracy said he's not like that.
Howard took a call from Cyrus who said that they ran a special last week with Lisa Lampanelli and she played one of Tracy's appearances. Tracy said that Lisa is his girl.
Howard took another call from Irish John who said he wanted to know who the white woman was that he had sex with at SNL. Tracy said it was Hillary Clinton. Howard said she's the only other woman who can self lubricate from her backside. John said he thinks that it was Kate Hudson that he had at SNL. Tracy said it wasn't her and he's going to reveal who it was in his next book.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that it was great to hear Tracy on the show again. He said that with days like this Howard can't retire. He said he has to keep going.
Jeff the Drunk asked how many women he's had at one time. Tracy said he had 3 women at once back in his drug dealing days. He said he had three girls giving him head at one time. He said there was a lot of spit during that.
Howard said Tracy is one of the good guys and he's pulling for him this weekend. He said he thinks the movie is going to be a big deal for him. He gave him some more plugs and wrapped up with him. Tracy said that he's done doing press so he's just going home to rest after the show today. Howard thanked him for running the Sybian today. He said that they couldn't find anyone to run it so they needed him. Robin said that's the first time they've let someone take an attachment from that thing home with them too. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that his man is Congressman Anthony Wiener. He said the republican's tried to take his comments and twist them around. Howard played some audio of Wiener saying some stuff about the Republicans all being wholly owned by the health care industry and they were able to shut him up. Howard said that Wiener was given more time to speak during someone else's time. They asked him to withdraw his words in that one as well. Howard said that the other congressmen were wondering if they wanted to let him open his mouth again. Wiener went off on the Republican's again saying that they were all wholly owned by the health care industry. They had to shut him up again.
Howard said he had another audio clip where some kind of human resources conference was going on and they were talking about things that should be avoided at the work place. The woman suggested not talking about current events. Howard said that's nuts. He said they might as well have suggested not talking about anything. Howard played the clip and listened to it a couple of times. The conference was for a California State Bar Association continuing education thing. They mentioned Howard Stern in that speech. They were saying that people come into work and just repeat what he says and that's not what people should be doing. The woman said that people should avoid that entirely.
Howard said that's great advertising for him. He said people will hear that and want to go listen to the show. Fred said he could hear a guy laughing in the background at how ridiculous that was. Howard said he could repeat that whole thing verbatim because it's such a great clip and he's heard it like 6 times now.
Howard said that he sees Jason and Scott DePace arguing politics in the hall and he wonders why they're doing that when they have work to do. Scott said he doesn't do that until he's done with work. Gary said that's not true. He said that he argues politics during work too.
Jason said that Scott will often come back in the middle of the show and sit there talking to them. He said that he'll talk to Will and Gary and to him. Howard said that Scott should be in his studio working. Scott came in and said that is just not true. Jason insisted it was. Scott said he's in the office 99 percent of the time.
Scott said that Jason should be logging the show. Jason said that he does except when Scott comes in to argue with him.
Howard asked Scott why he leaves his office to come into their office. Scott said he has to talk to Gary during the show sometimes. Howard said he shouldn't be in there during the show. Scott said it's not when guests are being filmed. Howard said that Scott and Jason should stay away from each other.
Howard and the guys talked about how hot Riley was today. Scott said he was trying to find something wrong with her but the only thing was her laugh.
Howard said he's had to pee for the past 4 hours and he's been holding it in. Howard said he thought that Riley had the tightest stomach and behind. He said she had thin legs and those fake boobs. He said she was beautiful. Howard asked Robin if she's surprised when she sees someone that hot in porn. Robin said she did ask her about that. Howard talked about the way Tracy Morgan took that Sybian piece and had her sign it.
Howard gave the caller Martha Stewart in the first one. He had multiple choice and the guy said it was tax evasion that sent her to prison. Howard said he was wrong. It was stock fraud. Howard said that one was an easy one too.
Howard said he had a few more to get right. Howard said the next one was Lil Kim. The caller guessed that she went in for cocaine possession. He was wrong again. It was conspiracy and perjury. Next up was Gary Glitter. The caller guessed that he went to jail for domestic violence. Howard said he was wrong again. He wasn't in for committing obscene acts with a minor. Howard said the guy didn't win but he gave him the prize anyway. Howard said he was going to give him the win even though he got all three wrong. Howard said he would have gotten them all wrong too anyway.
The caller said that he thinks that Tracy Morgan would have been a good judge in the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant they have coming up. Howard said it would be weird not to pay attention to Tracy during something like that so he's going to keep it internal.
Steve said that there's a war going on between Jason Ellis and Bubba the Love Sponge. Howard said he just found out about the feud. Steve said that Ellis has put out a ''Blubber Army'' t-shirt as a goof on Bubba's Bubba Army shirts. Howard said he wasn't even aware of this.
Howard said he heard some kid blasting him on what he thought was a radio show. It turns out it was just some guys who have an internet radio show. He said that they were claiming that they could beat him on terrestrial radio but they're not even on. JD said that they're on a public access radio show so it's not even a real radio show.
Howard played the clip of this guy yelling about him. The guy said he bought a car and he had satellite radio in the car. The guy was yelling about how irrelevant he is and how he's been talking about his cat and how he loves Sex and the City and stuff like that. Howard said this guys' delivery is very grating and he's hard to listen to. He said he has to tone it down. Howard said he can't just be one big loud mess. Howard gave this guy some advice on his delivery and said that he can't win just because he likes Sex and the city.
Steve said that they also have a story about someone who is posing as Mary Dell'Abate on Twitter. Gary is trying to get that shut down. Howard said someone set up a fake Beth Twitter account too. He said that the posts were obviously fake and Beth wanted to get it closed down. Beth said that she didn't want someone thinking it was really her. Howard said that he didn't think that anyone would think that it was. Beth told him that 5-10 people actually did think it was her trying to be funny. It was friends of her's that thought she was actually doing that. Howard said their IQs can't possibly be over 60 if they believe that.
Gary said that the fake Mary isn't that bad and she's talking about going to the shower and the fans are all asking her to post pictures and stuff. Gary said that the person is faking it. Gary said that he sent an email to the guy who created Twitter and he got a response back in about an hour. The guy is going to take that account down today.
Steve said that Les Moonves has signed on to stay with CBS until 2015. Howard said he finds it hard to believe that he's still there. He said he must be wrong about the guy. He said he never thought he could run that company. He said they're down 57 percent down in revenue over there.
Howard said that he saw that Sarah Silverman was writing to the fake Beth. He couldn't believe that. Steve got in a mention for tonight's Miserable Men show. They're filling in for Scott Ferrall.
Howard said that Mariah Carrey's husband is running a show in their spot over at the old K-Rock. Howard said he saw the ratings and he Z-100 is doubling their ratings over there. Howard said they were commercial free and weren't able to get ratings there. He said that they must be cursed.
Steve said that they did a piece on the Nick Cannon show and it was mind numbing. He said that his show is Nick just mumbling into the microphone about who knows what.
Howard read some posts that the fake Beth was posting. He read one where Beth claimed she had been offered to go out to dinner with Rosie O'Donnell and she turned it down. She said that she didn't want to watch that monster eat. Howard said he can't believe people would think that was really Beth.
Howard said he could step in and be number one in terrestrial radio no problem. He said he'd love to take terrestrial and make it exciting again and then leave and watch it tank. Howard said he already did that and he vomits thinking about the FCC and going back to terrestrial. Howard said that Lite FM was number one in New York.
Howard read some notes about the other ratings between John Gambling and Imus. Howard said he has to go back on just to crush those two. Howard said you can't lose to those two idiots. He said that he can't believe that Imus is in the top 10. He was never even in the top 25 when he was on terrestrial. Howard said that David Hinckley has nothing to write about other than this lame stuff.
Steve said that Riley Martin will be filling in for Ferrall on Friday night. He's going to be doing a 4 hour show but he will be getting paid for just one hour. Steve said Riley claims he wants to get the word out so he's going to accept that.
Howard had Jon Hein give his Wrap Up Show rundown next. Jon ran down the stuff they were going to talk about today.
Howard had a clip of Nick Cannon's radio show that Gary had found. Howard played the clip and Nick was talking about his wife Mariah Carrey and how he was supposed to be checking her into rehab or something. Howard said at least he was talking about his wife. He said that's what he should be doing. Howard listened to a few more seconds of that and said he can see why it's not doing well.
Howard did an impression of what that show sounds like with the loud music playing in the background and Nick putting on that urban voice he was putting on. Howard said there's no way the guy really talks like that.
Howard played some more of the audio and ended up talking about how Les Moonves has a job over there after the failures they've had since he left. Howard said that Les hired David Lee Roth and now Nick Cannon and he's still got a job. Howard couldn't understand how that was possible.
JD came in and told Howard about some more clips he had from Nick's show. He had one where Nick joked about the Olympics and how they should have one thing called Gold Digging. Howard said that Nick is a gold digger himself. Howard said that Nick should talk about what a shit hole that station is over there. He said he should talk about how frightened he is about being fired now too.
Howard noticed that Nick had some echo on his voice so he did an impression of Cousin Brucie doing the echo thing. Howard said that all of the great broadcasters do the echo thing. Howard played more of that and wondered if they came up with that idea to make the show more popular. Howard said that maybe it distinguishes them from the Z-100 DJs. Howard did an impression of Nick's lame show and goofed on him for a short time.
Howard said he tried too hard on radio. He said the guy just has to make sense and he'd be in the top 10. Howard said he still can't believe that Imus is in the top 10. He said he can't even beat John Gambling though. That's pretty lame. Howard said if he went back to terrestrial he can guarantee he would beat John Gambling Jr. He said it makes him feel good that radio is the way it is right now.
Robin said that they called K-Rock ''92.3 Free'' when they left. Howard said they were doing that because they had moved to pay satellite radio. Howard said people had to be fired over that. Jon said that they're called 92.3 Now now.
Howard had Jon Hein finish up his Wrap Up Show rundown. Jon ran down some more of the subjects they had for today's show. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked Doug Goodstein when Tracy and Riley Steele are going to be on. Doug said it'll be up tomorrow night at midnight. He said he's pretty sure it will be an instant hit.
Howard was having feedback problems with headphones but he said he was too tired to figure it out. He played Robin in with a Little Mikey song parody.
Robin started her news with some news about Charlie Sheen. They're saying that he and his wife took cocaine and drank before she went into rehab. Howard said that guy doesn't stop partying for anything. Robin said they're saying that Charlie and Brooke loved to party and they're called the ''toxic twins.'' Howard wondered why he has to keep having kids with these women. He said he has the two with Denise and other kids too. Robin said those might have been his first two. Howard said if he likes to party he should just go party and not have more kids.
Howard said he'd love to get a hold of Charlie's kids to take care of them for a while. He said he'd have fun wit that. He thinks he can get them because Lisa Rinna is helping to take care of them. It's actually her nanny that's taking care of the Sheen kids. Robin said she never watches ''Two and a Half Men'' but she would love to watch his real life. Howard said that he can't believe that guy still has a job on CBS. They fire people for the lamest stuff but they won't fire him for what he did to his wife.
Howard read that Lisa Rinna tweeted that her nanny was going to take care of the Sheen's kids. He said she's all excited over it.
Robin read a story about a couple of teachers who were dirty dancing and got suspended from the school. The dance was posted online and the teachers were suspended. Robin read about the teachers who were in a sexually explicit routine in front of students. Howard said it was just dance, it wasn't actually sex. The kids thought it had gone too far.
Howard asked what would happen if they got snowed in there at SIRIUS. Robin said they did a parody of that movie ''Eaten Alive'' years ago. Howard had forgotten about that. Howard figured that Jason would be the first one to be eaten.
Robin said they're trying to figure out what to do now that a trainer was killed at Sea World by a killer whale. Howard said they have to release those whales into the wild. Howard said the trainers get too familiar with them and the whales end up killing them. Robin read about the trainer being killed and how it happened during a show. Robin had some audio of a spectator who saw what happened. Howard said he's never had a desire to go to one of those shows but this might get him to go. Robin said they're launching an investigation into the death. Howard said it was just a whale being a whale.
Howard said the woman who died was a lovely looking woman. He said she studied all her life to do that. He said it was a sad thing. He said if he had his kids there he would have just told them it was part of the show and it was special effects.
Robin read a story about a woman who hit a man in a crash and dragged him all the way to her house. Robin said the man died on the way to the hospital. Robin said that they're saying that she had to have known she hit something. They had audio of a woman talking about that. Howard wondered what kind of car it was that she was driving that she didn't notice she hit a man. He said that's a great ad for that car.
Robin and Howard spent a minute talking about what's going on with Toyota right now. They talked about the recall and the way they're working things out so that Toyota dealers will come and pick people's cars up so the people don't have to drive the cars themselves. Howard said he heard some stories about people who weren't able to slow their cars down from going 100 miles per hour. JD had come in and said that one guy was charged with vehicular manslaughter and he had claimed it was the car's fault. Now they're trying to figure out if it actually was the car.
Howard had some audio of the head of Toyota talking and he sounded like Pete the Asian Virgin. Howard compared the two. They did sound very similar.
Howard had to get in a couple of live commercials during the news. He fit them in quickly and then had Robin get back to her news.
Robin had a story about child sex crimes being on the raise. Howard said he's been calling for castration because of this. Robin said that child predators are getting more brave these days. Robin had audio of a woman talking about how these predators will videotape the sex acts and post them on the internet. Robin read some details about how they have so many cases that they can't keep up with them.
Robin said that Derek Jeter doesn't have a contract with the Yankee's but he does want to stay there in New York. She had some audio of Jeter talking about that. Gary said that he is actually in the last year of his contract, he's not without one right now.
Robin said that Johnny Cash has a new album coming out. She didn't know he was still working since he died. Howard said they had some stuff he did with Rick Rubin. Robin had some audio of the new songs. Howard said that he doesn't think he's going to have another ''Hurt'' hit. He said that was a great song for him to have recorded.
Robin said that Susan Boyle is in the news. Her brother is saying that she still has personal issues and she's still got her anxieties and loneliness. She had her house broken into and night time is very lonely. Howard said she should beat off at night like he does when Beth his gone. They played some of her cover of ''Wild Horses'' and Fred threw in some horse sound effects. Howard said it is kind of funny when she sings.
Robin read a story about Justin Bieber being one of the performers at the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards. She had some of him singing. Howard said that kid looks like he's about 7 years old.
Robin had some news about Sade's new album too. She had some audio from one of her songs. Howard said that her music is great to have sex to. He said he used to do that with a chick he was dating. He said he felt very sexy while doing that. Howard said he felt muscular and fit when he was doing her to that music. He said he may buy this album just to do that.
Robin had some American Idol audio clips to play. Howard said all of the performances were awful. He played some of the clips and said that there would have been a pile of vomit in front of his judging chair if he was there. Howard said he doesn't think that Simon even knows what he's talking about on that show anymore. He liked one of the bad performances. Howard said there's one guy on the show who is huge and he claims that he's a personal trainer. Howard said the guy's head is the size of a cantaloupe. He said that they keep showing his muscles but he's fat.
Robin had some audio of Bruce Willis talking about Tracy Morgan working with him in the new ''Cop Out'' movie. Howard played some of that and complained about the energy that Bruce puts into interviews. He said he's way too relaxed. Howard said that he feels bad for the guys who put up millions to make that movie and then they have this kind of promotion. Howard said it sounds like Bruce is whispering so he doesn't wake up his sleeping kids. Howard said the guy is a tool after hearing the second clip where Bruce was talking about the excitement of seeing the audience's reaction. Howard said he sounds like Steven Wright. He said he likes Bruce's movies though.
Robin read a story about Janice Dickinson going off on Tyra Banks on some TV show. Howard had the audio of that where Janice talks about Tyra's huge forehead and how she used to think that she was a man. Howard said he thinks that Janice is pissed because she was thrown off the show that Tyra does, America's Top Model. They wrapped up the news and ended the show around 10:55am.
Jon said that Gary turned over the controls of the Sybian to Tracy. Gary said it was funnier to do. He said he put that box in his hands and showed him what to do. He said it wasn't rocket science. He said that he also kept the attachment. Gary said that's what Sal used to do but Tracy didn't lick it like Sal used to do.
Jon said that Tracy has a couple of movies coming out and asked if he thinks that he's going to forget the show. Gary said he doesn't think he will. Gary said he's a big fan of the show and he doesn't think he'll stop coming in. He said he thinks the visits may not be as often though.
Jon asked if there is a difference between Tracy Morgan and Tracy Jordan on 30 Rock. Gary said that they're very similar and he's surprised they let him do some of the stuff he does on that show.
Jon asked if they understood what Tracy was saying about not being a drug dealer even though he was dealing drugs. No one was clear on that.
Jon said that Tracy doesn't seem to mind riding anyone's coat tails and he admitted that today. Gary said that he's been in the business for a long time and he doesn't seem to care about that.
Benjy said he'd like to know what he's like when he gets mad. Jon said they got a peek at that when he was in the first time and he was talking about some of the Saturday Night Live people he worked with that he didn't like.
A caller said that Tracy said the same kind of mantra that JD said yesterday about keeping the highs not to high and the lows not to low. The guys said they all heard that.
Jon played a clip where Howard was giving Tracy some advice on how he should stay home and not go out this weekend.
After that clip Jon said that Tracy is keeping it in check there. Gary said that they should know how this movie is doing by early Friday night. He said that if it's not doing well on Friday they'll know that it's not going to do well over the whole weekend.
Gary asked how he even knows that the Stamos account is real. The caller didn't have a good answer for that. The guy said that he checked into it and it was the real John Stamos. The guy said he investigated it. Gary asked what he found out. The guy was rambling so Gary had to keep cutting him off and asked how he knows it was the real John Stamos. The guy just kept going on and on saying that this was the real Beth.
Benjy asked the caller if he really believes that or is he fucking around. The guy said that he's just chilling but this is a big deal to him. Benjy said the tweets the past couple of days have been so outrageous. The caller said that what he thinks happened is that someone took over the account and started posting that crazy stuff to make it look like it was fake.
Benjy read one of the tweets and it was about her going down on a black guy at the Christmas Party. The caller said that they were all made up to make it look fake. He said that Howard is protesting too much over it so that makes it look like it's a real thing.
Gary asked the caller if he's making up the Mary Twitter story to cover up for Howard too. The caller said that's what he thinks is going on.
Jon moved on and took a call from a guy who said that he heard that the Superman comic that sold for a million bucks was sold to a man in New York and the guy wanted to remain anonymous. Gary said he actually got a call from a publicist for the guy who actually did buy it so he doesn't think it is Howard. Benjy said maybe that's another cover up.
Wheels called in and said that he was on the phone to ask Riley to get on the Sybian today but they beat him to it. He said Howard was about to get her out of the studio when Gary brought up the Sybian thing. He said he was glad Gary did that.
Benjy asked if they could have sent Tracy and Riley back to another room to do it. Gary said that he is engaged so he probably wouldn't have done anything. Benjy said he was saying he wasn't engaged today. They were also hearing Riley saying she doesn't do black guys.
Jon asked the guys if they think she was as hot as Jenna Jameson was. Gary said he thinks she's really pretty. Benjy said she was very pretty and had a Marcia Brady kind of look. Benjy said she looks like Jesse Jayne with a fuller body.
Gary said that the guys there thought she was really hot and maybe hotter than the usual girls they have up there.
Jon said that Riley talked about how she masturbated when she was in pre-school and things like that. They also talked about her blowing the guy she was babysitting for too. Gary said that Howard knew a guy who hired a nanny and she showed up at the door and turned out to be so hot that the wife just closed the door on her and said ''not in my house.''
Jon played a clip from the show where Riley was talking about the guy she was babysitting for and ended up blowing.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary was saying that the Sybian ride wasn't all that great. Gary said he thought it was a great one. He said it seemed to be mic'd the same as always. Benjy said it didn't seem very real to him. He said it was too quick and not much build up.
The caller said there was a lot going on in there at the time. Gary said that Tracy is so filthy and it's really funny. He said that he was saying that her vagina was glistening after she got off the Sybian and he thought it was really funny.
The caller said he heard Howard say that he was going to sit down and tell people what he wants there and he was excited about that. Benjy said he was talking about how he wants to sit down with the people from SIRIUS and see if they're going to give him what he wants. The caller said he thinks that they're going to give Howard whatever he wants.
Gary said that it's getting tight now and he thinks that they have to get this settled pretty soon. Gary said that no one is even looking for a job yet. He said that if they don't settle it before June then people are going to start freaking out. Gary said he really doesn't know what he'll tell them.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Howard is leaning one way or the other. Gary said Howard knows what he wants but he might look elsewhere if he doesn't get what he wants.
Jon said that if Howard doesn't come back then who is going to have the toughest time finding another gig. Gary said that they have a very talented staff and he thinks that they'll be able to find something. Gary said that it might not be as fulfilling as the jobs they have there. He seems to think that they'll all be okay. They had to go to break after that.
Jim McClure said that he had discussions about Howard before he started there and how they'd have to have a discussion about him if he did start working there. He said they didn't think that Howard would be able to do what he did at the other station.
Gary said that they used to have meetings about sexual harassment at K-Rock and Tom Chiusano would beg them not to joke about stuff in the meetings. Gary said that Jackie used to draw penises in the paper every day. In one meeting Jackie took about 10 pieces of paper and stuck them together drawing this huge penis.
Ralph called in and asked about Riley Steele and if she was as hot as she looks on the web. Gary said she's not the hottest girl that's been up there but she was very hot.
Ralph told the guys that Howard can do his show anywhere even if he doesn't stay there. Ralph said he thinks that Howard could do his own show anywhere. He thinks it has to be long form and not a late night show or anything.
Gary said he can't imagine Howard ending up like Ed McMahon and if he can go and relax at his house then maybe he could do that. Ralph said he doesn't think that's Howard. He said that he thinks that he will keep working somehow.
Jon asked Ralph if the scarf was his idea. Ralph said he doesn't discuss that with anyone but Howard. Ralph said that he wears a scarf all the time though. Ralph said he's not going to discuss how he and Howard work together. He just doesn't do that. Ralph said he really doesn't get why the scarf thing is branded as gay. Gary said ''you don't huh?'' Ralph said that was coming from someone who wears an amulet around his neck.
Ralph said he doesn't think Howard wears the scarf around his neck for a look. He thinks he's wearing it because he's cold. He said he may have to look into some video to see if Howard is fucking up the look.
Ralph told Gary that the thing he wears on his neck is very prominent and he shouldn't have it that way. Gary asked Ralph if it should be longer so it's under his shirt. Ralph said that it should be more hidden. He said maybe he should keep it hidden most of the time and just show it once in a while.
Gary said that he's seen people wearing the same thing and they are showing it too. Ralph said he's sure Fergie doesn't wear it around her neck like Gary does. Gary said he saw Smokey Robinson wearing one around a turtle neck and that looked ridiculous. Ralph said he's exactly known as a fashion icon. Gary told Ralph to call him later so they can go out scarf shopping.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if he can feel Howard's coattails slipping through his caps. Gary said he can't now but maybe call him in June.
Jon said Howard is the one who brought up how he wasn't back there directing. Scott said he still knows what's going on with the show even when he leaves the office. He said it's a 5 hour show and it's tough to concentrate on that much.
Jon asked Scott about Riley Steele and what he thought about her. Scott said she really was stunning and he was gazing at her when she came into the compound and he realized they had him on camera doing that.
Gary said that he and Mary used to talk about who would drive the babysitter home and the guys he was hanging out with asked how he would get away with driving the girl home. Gary said that his friends would always let the wives drive the babysitter home. Gary said that they were thinking more about the babysitter being a nut and making false claims.
Scott asked how you even get into something like that with a babysitter. Jon said that it sounded like she was the one who was aggressive. Jon asked if he was taking notes. Scott laughed and said no.
Another caller said that he used to listen to the show at work and he had bosses who were afraid to listen because they didn't want their minds corrupted.
Gary said he got a letter from a guy one time who said he listened to Howard in his headphones and his co-workers claimed they could hear it through the headphones so he had to stop listening.
Jon said that many of the people who say that the show is awful have never even heard the show. Gary said that at WNBC they had a lot of channels that they could listen to around the station but they actually took them off of that. He said that their own company wouldn't let them listen to the show at work. Gary said he knows people with their own business and if people didn't like the show they'd kick them out.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thinks that what Tracy was saying about not really being a drug dealer. He said that it wasn't in it for him to make that a career.
The caller also said that there seems to be people who have crazy thoughts about the show like the caller earlier and that Dina chick who called in the other day. He wondered if they're trying to be like wack packers or something. Gary said that some people just have weird conspiracy theories.
Benjy said that there was one theory about Beth being part of the PLO that had been planted when they had started dating.
Jon asked the guys about the discussions they had about the concert that Howard was playing today. Scott said that it can get a little too old even for him. He said he likes music that came out after that. He said it was a little too hippie-ish for him.
Gary and Jon asked Scott if he likes any of the music from that time. Scott said he likes that kind of music but it's just his opinion that it wasn't all that great.
Benjy asked Scott if he thought that he was a drug dealer or just a person that dealt drugs. Scott said he was just a casual user. He didn't want to talk about that for long.
The guys asked Scott what kind of music he likes and he kept bringing up Pink Floyd. He said he likes some of the newer music like Candlebox. Gary said that was like 20 years ago. Scott said he liked the Stones. He liked Zeppelin too. Benjy said he likes Chuck Berry. Scott also said he likes the Smashing Pumpkins. They had to end the show after that.
Best Of The Week was over around 11:05am.