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| Friday | Latest Mastertape Theatre |
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Howard started off the show welcoming everyone to a live, brand new show. George Takei was sitting in so Howard tried to get his microphone on but he forgot which switch it was. He figured that out and then asked George when he was last there. George said it was more than 3 months which was way too long.
George congratulated Howard on his upcoming wedding and the merger. Howard congratulated him on his upcoming wedding to Brad as well.
George said that he and Brad are looking forward to that and they had a lot of media coverage about it. Howard said that they really did have a lot of coverage. George said that the wedding is on the 14th of September. They have a marriage license and that's what got them so much media coverage.
Howard said that they're saying that he's gotten married this weekend but he hasn't. He said he doesn't get why there's so much coverage and why people care so much. He said that he doesn't even have a marriage license yet.
Howard asked George what they had to do to get their marriage license. George said it was just a driver's license and $70. Howard said he has to have his birth certificate and a bunch of other stuff including his divorce papers to get his.
Artie said that George and Brad could have said they weren't gay but wanted to get married and maybe that would have worked years ago. Robin said that wouldn't have worked.
George talked about the swarm of media coverage he and Brad had when they got their license and how crazy things god. Howard said that this seems to be good for his career.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she wanted to congratulate Howard on his marriage because she fell for all of that stuff that was in the paper this weekend. Howard said that the stuff in the NY Post is all wrong and they were wrong about this whole thing. He said he would have told Mariann when he was getting married.
Howard said that he's getting tired of this whole thing and he's done talking about it. He said he didn't want to tell Mariann when he was getting married because there's too much hoopla about the whole thing.
Howard let Mariann go and played some news clips where they were reporting on his rumored wedding. All of the reporters were getting Beth's last name wrong when they were reading their teleprompters.
Howard said that Beth's last name is Polish and he's surprised he's marrying a Pole based on everything he heard about the Poles when he was growing up. He did an impression of his mother telling him stories about what was going on there in World War II. He said that it was some scary stuff he heard from her and he'd have nightmares about it.
Howard played some more news reports about his marriage that all of these people got wrong. Howard said that Beth took a picture of her tattoo on her arm and offered to send it over to Doug Herwitt, who runs Howard's web site, but he didn't know what he was going to do with that. Howard said that was kind of funny and Beth felt kind of dumb for offering it to him.
Howard played another reporter where the reporter was really having a problem reading the story about the wedding. Howard said that one was from Birmingham, Alabama. The woman said that the news scared her somehow. Howard said that her read scared him. Howard said that this is all creeping him out. He said that it shows that the show is popular but it's embarrassing that there's all of this carrying on.
Robin said that they were making a big deal out of this and they'll make a bigger deal out of something like this if it doesn't work out. She said that it'll make it a worse tragedy than it really is.
Howard said he read that Paul McCartney is getting married again or he's talking about it at least. Howard said he thinks Paul learned a good lesson from that last marriage.
Howard said that he and Beth had another heart to heart about the baby thing. He said that he really doesn't want kids and Beth claims she doesn't either. Howard said that he's the one who brought it up, not Beth. She really doesn't want to have kids. Howard said that she did say something about adopting a Chinese baby but he's not going there either. Artie said that they do get big. Howard said that he tells Beth that if he was going to have a baby, he'd have his own.
Howard said he's up front with Beth about this baby thing. He's just making sure that she doesn't want a baby before they get married.
George said that Brad has asked him about kids before. He jokingly said he won't carry his own either. They would adopt if they were going to have a kid. George said that Jimmy Doohan had a kid when he was 80 years old. The kid was 5 when his father died and he doesn't think that's fair to the kid.
Howard asked George if they made love on a night that they usually don't have sex on. George said that they usually do it on Sunday mornings. It's almost always on Sunday mornings. He said that they did it on a Monday this one time the night before they went out and got their license. George said that Monday night nothing happened.
George said that Brad was so nervous that he was frozen up because of the whole thing. Howard said that he must have been nervous and it must be hard on Brad to go through all of this. George said that it's all going to be a joyful thing.
Howard and Artie talked about the gifts that they were giving to George. Artie made a donation to the Human Rights Foundation in George's name.
George said that Arnold Schwarzenegger is on their side in this whole thing. Howard said that he remembers George yelling at (Fake) Arnold on the show when they first started out there at SIRIUS. Robin said that Arnold hurt his leg again this weekend. George said that he's carrying a lot of weight right now.
Howard said that Artie gave him a John Belushi book with stories about his life and he was thinking that Artie was heading in the same direction as he was. He said that it reminded him a lot of Artie's live but Artie has gotten some help.
Howard talked about some of the stuff going on in Belushi's life when he died at the young age of 33. Howard said that he was a really talented guy from what he could tell. Artie said that there are some parallels between his life and Chris Farley's. He said that they both died at 33 and they both had strange women giving them drugs that led to their death.
George told Artie that he saw him on Entourage and he was very good on that. He said that he looks great and his eyes are all clear.
Artie said that he's been sober for 19 days now. George said that he's a delicious looking person this morning. Artie said that Brad is going to be jealous when he hears that.
Howard said that the one thing that he regrets is not banging Jillian. He said that she's so in love with him that it would probably be mind blowing sex. He thinks that she would have licked his asshole if they had sex. He said that no chick has ever done that to him. He thinks that she could have been the one to do that.
Jillian spent a few minutes talking about the wedding with her co-hosts and they were being kind of nice to him. Robin said that Dorothy Lucy isn't usually that nice to Howard, she usually cuts Jillian off. Howard said that he should have sex with both of them.
Artie said that the dynamic of that show is funny because it looks like some older dude hired a couple of hookers to hang out with him.
King of All Blacks called in and said that he doesn't understand why Howard is going to deny Beth from having kids. Howard said that he's not denying her anything, she can have kids if she wants to, just not with him. King said that she will want kids and he can't stop her from wanting that. Howard said he's not trying to stop her, he just doesn't want any himself.
Howard said there are people out there who don't want kids. Robin doesn't want any, his niece doesn't want any and there are many others. Howard said that Beth told him that if she ever has that need to have kids, she will end the marriage. King said ''Yeah, right.''
King of All Blacks said that he thinks Beth is just telling him what he wants to hear. Robin said that there are people who change their minds and Beth could change hers some day. She said that there are also women who are willing to give up something like that to be with the person they love.
King said he thinks that Beth is just telling Howard what he wants to hear and she secretly really does want to have a kid.
Howard said that he should call Jillian and see if he could have sex with her. He said that she did tell him in the past that she would.
Johnny Fratto called in and said that he will have kids. He said he hates that King of All Blacks but he agrees with him on that stuff. Johnny said he didn't want to have more kids but he has a little one now. Howard asked him if his wife started brow beating him into it.
Johnny said that his wife snuck up on him with no rubbers or anything and had sex with him. He said that having a kid is the last thing he thought about. Howard said that Johnny let it happen though. Johnny said that this girl is a rational girl. He said that it's the body that wants the baby.
Howard told Johnny that he made the decision to have the baby by putting it in her without a condom. Johnny said that he never thought at the time that he was going to have another kid. Robin said that Johnny wasn't fooled into having a kid.
Howard said that Johnny knew what he was doing by not having a rubber on. Howard said that he wears a rubber and he's not going to have a kid.
Johnny said that he had a dog that was like a baby for them. Once the baby came they sent the dog off to Iowa. He said that his wife was buying clothes for the dog and that was perfect because it was like having a baby. Then the baby came and now there's another one coming. Johnny said that he's talking about baby names every day now.
Johnny said he hates kids and that's the most fucked up part of the whole deal. He said he's a terrible father. He said he buys his kids a lot of stuff but they talk to him and he doesn't want to talk to them.
Johnny said that he's trying to save Howard's life here and Beth will want to have kids eventually. He said that he can tell just from looking at pictures that she's going to need to have kids. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
George said that this conversation makes him glad that he's gay. Howard said he had a gay friend who told him that he thought that things would be less complicated if he were straight. Howard said he told that guy that he was nuts and things would be even more complicated.
Howard said that he thinks that Chris is coming there to SIRIUS and that's a good thing to see. He said that he read that Mel Karmazin made him a deal to come over there. Artie said that Chris is very entertaining to listen to, especially when he's on his own.
Howard said that he heard that Russo was upset that they weren't treating him very well over at CBS. Gary said that Russo and Mike Francesa weren't really friendly toward each other and they let that be known on the show sometimes.
Howard thinks that if the guy brings over thousands of fans, he's worth the money they're going to pay him. The guys talked about their show and what that was like.
Howard said that he's glad that SIRIUS is hiring the guy and that they'll be able to have him doing his thing without tons of commercials. He said it'll be interesting to see how that all works out.
Howard said that Chris Russo called into the show after he split up and ended up breaking down and crying as he was talking about how good the show was. He played a clip of him getting upset and crying as he was talking about how he was going to miss the show.
Artie said that those guys were together for 19 years and their 20th anniversary was coming up. He told some history about how those guys got together and some of the stuff that went on over at WFAN when they were working with Imus.
Howard said that he thinks that Francesa kind of broke some rules there by joking around with Russo when he was crying. He said that he should have let him cry instead of ruining the moment. He thinks that Russo is the better broadcaster.
Gary said that he's looking forward to Russo coming there. He said that what they were missing was a big sports guy there. Artie said that Russo would do Letterman and stuff like that and he's kind of animated and odd looking when he talks. Artie thinks that he's more entertaining than Francesa.
Howard cut Gary off before he could say more about this guy. He said it was enough about him. Gary left but Howard felt bad for cutting him off. He had him come back in to say what he wanted to say. Gary said that Russo and Francesa used to work together and they barely spoke off the air. He said that it was very hard to watch them on the YES network when they were working together. He said they could have worked in different locations instead of working together.
Artie said that he was listening to Jay Thomas' show the other day and he was amazed at how great that sounds considering that they're not in the same room together. Howard said that Jay has asked him why he comes into work when he could work out of his house. Howard said he likes to see guests reactions and look in their eyes, plus they have a TV show they're making there.
Howard said that they're going to give George a bachelor party on the show this week. George said that he hasn't been a bachelor in 20 years. George said that Brad will probably have a thought or two on that. Howard told George that he's going to get the best blow job ever from Fred. Fred said that he's going to give him anal and they can try it both ways if he wants.
Howard said they have a lot of events planned for George this bachelor party. He said that they're going to have songs, Jonah Falcon the 14 inch cock guy, ''Guess What's In My Ass'' game, nude Twister with Sal and Richard and much more. Gary said that they're also going to have the Cowboy from the Village People sing ''YMCA'' to George. George said that would have been great live. Gary said that he's on the road so that's why he won't be in there.
Artie said he could feel the flu coming back and he might not be in that day. Robin said that this is going to knock Artie right off the wagon this week.
George said that this is the first Monday that he's there and Artie is there too. Artie said that he forgot that he was coming in this week. Artie said that he can't believe that Sal and Richard agreed to do nude twister with each other.
Howard said they're going to have a prettiest penis contest this week. He asked George what he's going to look for there. George said he will be looking at muscle and didn't really have a preference for shaved or unshaved. Howard asked George if he likes circumcised or uncircumcised. George said it all depends on the whole package. He said he doesn't have a preference there either. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard said he heard that Sal was over there for a really long time. Gary said Sal was there for about 7 and a half hours from what he heard. <:P>Sal said that he was having fun over there and time was just flying. Howard said that when he was married he was doing about that much time at Scores. Sal said that he's very personable over there. The guys saw him talking to one of the women about her family vacation. Sal said that when you're married any girl is good over there and he doesn't have a favorite.
George said that he was interested in finding out more about this Rick's thing and wanted to check it out himself. Howard told him that they have women there though. George said that he's okay with that. Howard said there is no ''Rick'' there and there aren't naked men dancing. Sal said there were about 20 people there at the club on Thursday.
Ronnie said that the girl Howard was talking about was from Miami and he picked her to come up from there. He said her name is Fire. Ronnie said she's a fun girl and they had some fun with her down in Miami. He said that she's 23 years old. Howard told Ronnie she's too young for him. Sal said that 60 is too young for Ronnie.
Howard said he likes this Wack Pack Bowling show. He said that Yucko the Clown was going off on some of the people there and goofing on John the Stutterer calling him ''John the Gutterer'' because he was throwing so many gutter balls.
Gary said that they have a web site now and he was looking at the stats there and found out that Nicole Bass is at 285 pounds. He said he found that to be pretty surprising.
Howard talked about John the Stutterer and Yucko the Clown fighting. The Howard TV guys had a clip of the two of them yelling at each other that they played. John and Yucko were really going at each other and Ronnie had to get in on that and separate the two of them. Sid Rosenberg, the host of the bowling show, was instigating the whole thing and told John to go over and beat Yucko up.
Howard said they have a lot of stuff on the web site for the Wack Pack Bowling show. They have wallpaper and other stuff to download as well.
Howard and the guys talked about the article for a few minutes. Howard said that he can see this story from Edwards' side too. He said that he can imagine that he was going through a tough time with his wife going through cancer treatments and wanting to get laid. He said that when he read that column he started to think about what kind of guy Edwards really is. They spent a little more time on that and then moved on.
Howard said there's a blind item in the paper today and he's so interested in this one story that he wants to call Richard Johnson to find out who it is. He said that they claim that this film heartthrob is a closeted, violent homosexual who raped his partner. They talked about who it could possibly be and mentioned some names like Christian Bale, Brendan Frasier, Shia Lebouf and a couple of others. Artie threw out Ben Stiller too but he said that wouldn't make much sense. Howard said that Richard Christy was in Harold and Kumar 2.
Howard read another blind item about a rich socialite whose parents are making her get a job. He said that this stuff drives him nuts.
Artie said he went to meet a friend at a bar in Hoboken the other night. He said that he just had a coke and left about 45 minutes later, he wasn't drinking. He said that the place was the Hudson Tavern and it was a nice place. He said that it's so hard to not drink when everyone around him is drunk.
Artie said that he went to meet this chick down there and it was a long story so he didn't get into that part of the story. He said that they had the Olympics on the TVs there at the bar and everyone was watching this swimmer and cheering like crazy. He said the coverage was cool too. He said that he's never seen people so into the Olympics like they were this night. Robin said she's seen people going crazy over it too.
Gary said that there's something coming up in a couple of weeks. The guys in the office want to know if there's going to be alcohol there at his party. Artie said of course there will be alcohol. Howard said that you can't cut other people off and not have alcohol at a party.
Howard said that Artie is the one who is going to have to adjust to what's going on around him. Artie said that this party he's throwing is a belated birthday for Robin. Howard said that he already had his party for Robin but no one else was invited. He said it was just him and Robin. Robin said that it was very nice and she was very happy to be there.
Artie said that he was watching this show on TLC where they had this 800 pound woman. He loves that stuff. There was one show where they talked about tape worms and this guy ended up shitting out a tape worm that was about 3 feet long. He said that the guy was talking about how he had to have his wife help him get the thing out of him.
Artie said that you have to get to the head of the tape worm because if you just break it, it'll grow back. He said that the guy was camping and they caught a trout that wasn't cooked properly. That led to this tape worm growing inside of him. They had to perform surgery on the guy because he had like a 6 foot long tape worm inside of him. He said that the guy keeps the tape worm in a jar and it looked like a long, white tape.
Howard said that Tropic Thunder beat Batman at the movies this weekend. He said that the movie really was good. Robin said she was pissed that those guys didn't come in there but she did like the movie.
Howard said that guys don't want their wives to know that they do that stuff because it can be kind of embarrassing. He said that years ago he'd lie to his wife if she asked him if he really did that stuff. He said that now he tells Beth the truth about what he does. He said that he saw an interview on Fox and Friends where they talked about Ernest Borgnine and he told them that his secret to living so long is that he masturbates a lot.
Howard played another clip of Borgnine talking about masturbating during a different interview. Borgnine was talking about ''relieving himself'' and how men just have to do that. Howard said that the guy is just saying that you can't expect all of these politicians to be held up to these standards that they can't live up to. They're just men and they can't expect them not to do what other men are doing.
Howard said that all guys masturbate and that's that. Robin told Jon to get in there and just admit to it. Howard asked Lisa if she masturbates. Lisa said that she doesn't right now and it may just be a stage she's going through.
Jon Hein came in and Howard said he thinks that he does masturbate and he's just not admitting to it. Jon asked him why he would think that. Howard said that he had to have jerked off at some point when his wife was on the rag or something. Jon said he has no reason to stick to that story if he has done it. He said that he really can't remember the last time he did it. He said he has done it over the years but he can't remember when it was.
Howard said that it could be his diabetes that's effecting him. Jon said that could be why he doesn't need it that much.
Artie said that he's annoyed by it and he feels like it's another chore that he has to do. He said that he's not going to be good in a conversation until he jerks off so that's why he's not happy about it.
George said that he's still jerking off and he's 71 years old. He doesn't have to do that on Sunday though because that's the day he and Brad have sex. Howard asked George why he would marry Brad if he's only giving him sex one day a week. George said that they do have some cuddling going on during the week so it's not really just the one time a week.
Howard asked George if he's ever sat down with Brad and talked to him about having more sex. He said that he might want to ask him to please him more often. George said that he will have that conversation with Brad now that Howard has introduced it. He said that he has consideration for Brad and he doesn't seem to have interest in doing it more often.
George said that Brad is his manager too so he's very intense about that. Artie said that if he's his manager, he's fucking George in one way or another. George said that he gets exhausted from doing all of this stuff for him.
George talked about what he and Brad do when they have sex on Sunday. He said that he leans on the door and says ''Hey big boy'' when he's all ready to go. Howard asked why it's on Sunday. George said that he thinks that it's because Brad is the most relaxed on Sunday. Howard asked George if he thinks that Brad masturbates during the week. George said he's really not sure about that.
Howard told George that he should come clean with brad and tell him that he has needs and he wants more sex, maybe twice a week.
Howard asked George if he's ever tried waking Brad up with a blow job. George said that he's actually had that done to him when he was with another man. He said that it's the most wonderful feeling to wake up to something like that. Howard said that maybe George should ask for something like that but George said that Brad doesn't do that. George said that he has to romance Brad before they do anything. He said that he has to romance him on Sunday mornings.
Howard told George to mix it up a bit with Brad and not just do it once a week. He said they could do it more randomly instead of setting one day to do it. Artie said that Brad sounds like a chick if he's saying no so often.
Artie asked George if he has been approached at Star Trek conventions by gay guys. George said that he has and he has taken advantage of that. He said that was in the past though.
Howard said he doesn't believe that Lisa doesn't masturbate. Fred threw in a vibrator sound effect and Lisa laughed and asked what that was. She said that she hasn't been dating much and she's not sure why she stopped doing it.
Robin said that she hasn't gone a long time without masturbating herself. She said that she has no reason not to.
Lisa got back to her news preview and said they have a story about Jason taking measures to make sure that Sal and Richard don't get a hold of the microphone at his wedding. Jason is also saying that he put his foot down and won't be paying for the shrimp that his mother wanted at the wedding. His mother is going to pay for it so there will be shrimp there.
Howard asked George if his wedding is going to cost a lot. George said that his wedding is going to be over $60,000 but the bills haven't all come in yet. He said that he and Brad have joint bank accounts so the money is coming out of that. He said that they're not going to have a pre-nup either. Howard told George to hold on a second there. He said that pre-nups aren't a bad thing.
Howard told George that Paul McCartney didn't think his marriage was going to end and look at the way that turned out. George said that Brad isn't like that and he doesn't think that this is going to end. Howard said that you never know though and George has to protect himself. He said that he had to deal with all of those Star Trek fans over the years and stuff like that.
George said that he doesn't know how to approach Brad about something like that. Howard told George how he thinks he should do it and did an impression of him as he was explaining it.
Robin asked George what he thinks he would want to give to Brad if things didn't work out. George said that he loves him so much that he would be willing to give him half. He said that he could give him the Arizona house and he could keep the L.A. house. Howard said he didn't sound so happy about giving him half.
Howard said that he wasn't trying to start trouble here. He was just trying to give some advice to George. George said that he really never even thought about this. He said that things have been working out very well for the past 20 years and he thinks that it will be fine.
Howard said he doesn't' think this is that outrageous. George said that he's thinking that maybe Howard has brought up something he should look into. He said that Brad has been very good to him and he's very grateful to Brad for what he's done for him. He said that he's gone out of his way to help his family and things like that. He said he can't reduce what he feels to dollars and cents. George said that he thinks that maybe they should have that discussion.
Howard said that the chances are that it will never happen but he should protect himself. Robin said that this whole thing is like a fairy tale right now. Artie cut her off and said ''Well, they are fairies...'' Howard told George that he busted his balls to get where he's at and he had to do all of the work. He said that he has paid his dues. George said that they may just have that discussion tonight.
Howard said that they all want to believe that relationships are going to last forever. They don't always work out though. He said that he needs to get this thing going and have that conversation. George said that he will and he will look into getting two attorneys to work things out. Howard said that this is the way things work in marriage.
Howard told George he loves him and he doesn't' want to see him hurt. He said that he tried to talk sense to Paul McCartney when he was on the show a few years ago. He said that he warned him about not having a pre-nup and now Paul is out $60 million.
Howard said that marriage changes things sometimes and he's not even sure why. He said that people just get different when they get married. He said that things change. George said that he doesn't get why that is. Artie said he thinks that this is going to ruin George and Brad's relationship and he wants his money back from that fruity charity he donated to if it does fall apart.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they can stop with the gay shit today. He also figured that George must not believe in God if he's doing this stuff. George said that he doesn't believe that they should bring faith into something like a civil marriage.
Lisa finished up her Howard 100 News preview after that. They went to break a short time later.
George said that he's going to be roasted at the Friar's Club soon. Artie said he was offered the shot at doing it but it's on a work night for him so he can't do it. He thought that Mike Morse didn't make it into this one but Sal came in and told him that he did make it to the next level in the Friar's Club roast, he's just not part of this one.
Howard played some clips from the Bob Saget roast that aired last night on Comedy Central. He had some clips of Cloris Leachman and Jeff Ross who killed with his stuff. Artie said that a lot of the jokes were about Bob fucking the Olsen twins.
Howard said that Donald Trump bought Ed McMahon's house so he can continue living in it. Robin said he probably wants to evict the guy. Howard said that's not it at all and Trump is saying that he wants to help the guy because he grew up seeing McMahon on TV. Trump is just doing it to help the guy. Robin said that he's getting publicity out of it and that's why he's doing it. Howard said it's a nice move to make to help the guy. Robin said he's just doing it for business.
Howard said that Trump is letting him stay in the house so that's a very nice thing to do. Robin wasn't caving in and kept saying that he's only doing it for business.
Howard said that guys have to get aroused. She said that it hasn't happened to her but it has happened to her friends. Kristy said that they just flick it and hope it goes down. Howard said that he'd hope to have a chick as hot as her and he'd probably get aroused. She said that she'd just flick it if he did.
Howard said that guys must hit on Kristy all the time. Kristy said that they do and she gets a lot of short men hitting on her. Artie said that he was hitting on her and she likes girls like this who can deal with sick people like she does.
Kristy said that she's single and hasn't had a boyfriend for 2 years. She said that she does hang out with guys but this summer has been kind of slow for her. She said that she is approachable but she has a lot of dorks come up to her.
Kristy is 26 and still lives at home. She said that she's a student though so that's why she's at home. She went to school late so that's why she's still in now.
Artie asked Kristy if she can cook. She said she can so Artie sounded like he was impressed by that. Howard read that she lost her virginity late and didn't do much in high school.
Howard read that Kristy was offered a job as a hooker. She said that she didn't know it at the time. She explained that she met this woman who was trying to hook her up with other guys and didn't know that she was pushing her into this date with a guy that was going to pay her $2,000. Kristy said that she turned it down.
Howard said that Kristy is very hot and he's happy to see that she's going to be Miss Howard TV for the month. He said that fans of Howard TV know that they don't let slouches into that role. Kristy said that it was grueling process to get the job.
Howard asked Kristy about her breasts and found out that she's a natural full C. Howard asked her if she's ever dated any creepy guys. She said that she hasn't really. Howard said they have a picture of her up on HowardStern.com.
Artie was very taken with her of course. Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to her before he let her go. He said that people will be able to see her on Howard TV coming up.
Ralph called in and said that he thinks that Robin giving Donald Trump shit for doing something nice isn't right. He said that Robin got something out of the charity events that she did. Robin said she was doing that to raise awareness and no one needs to know that Trump is buying the house to help Ed McMahon. She said that it's just a good publicity move for him. She said she likes Trump and hopes that he doesn't take that the wrong way.
Howard took a call from Eric the Midget who was angry that he was on hold so long. Howard told him that it's not his show so he should hang up if he doesn't like waiting on hold. Eric said that he thinks that Steve Langford is getting to Johnny Fratto and he's cutting him out of stuff. Howard said that maybe Johnny is getting tired of him. Eric yelled at Howard to shut up so he could finish.
Howard cut Eric off and told him that Johnny probably just doesn't want to deal with him. Eric said that he wanted to finish. He was yelling at Artie to go back on heroin. He went on to say that Johnny hasn't spoken to him in about a week and he thinks that Langford's reports are getting to him.
Howard told Eric that Johnny probably doesn't like dealing with him. Eric said that's not the case at all. He said that Johnny doesn't mind dealing with him at all.
Howard asked Eric what makes him think that Johnny is upset with him. Eric said that he was supposed to be part of this casting call for Johnny's calendar and he hasn't heard from him lately.
Howard checked out the video of Eric over at JFSC.tv because he said he heard that he was all blotchy. He said there was some stuff going on with his face. He also thought that he had new glasses and said that they were tinted. Eric said they weren't tinted but then said that they tint when he goes outside. He said that he didn't want two different pairs of glasses.
Howard said he doesn't think that Steve Langford is the problem and Eric just has problems with Johnny. Robin asked what he spoke to Johnny about last. Eric said that he talked to him about the casting call but hasn't heard from him since then. Robin said that he'll probably get back to him when he gets a chance. Howard let Eric go a short time later. Eric was still blaming Langford for all of this.
Jeff said that his friend overdosed on something but he doesn't know the name of the drug. He said it starts with a Z. Jeff said that he had the guy with him at the Borgata with Artie. Artie said the guy didn't look that good back then. Jeff said the guy was only 25 years old.
Howard said he was sorry to hear about that. Jeff wanted to give his name but Howard told him that he may not want to give that out on the air based on what he just said. He said that he wants to whisper the name of the Wack Pack Bowling winner in his ear but Artie told him not to do that no matter what. He told him he'll have Doug Goodstein on his ass in a second.
Howard asked Jeff to pretend to whisper to him who the winner was by saying ''Miss Amenity.'' Jeff tried to do it but he was barely whispering. Artie did an impression of him whispering and then blurting out the name. He said that's what he imagines him doing.
Jeff was saying that his friend didn't have his driver's license so the guys talked to him about that. Then Howard said that Jeff is a pretty good bowler and shocked him with the way he was hooking his balls in the Wack Pack Bowling show. The Howard TV guys showed a clip of one of his shots to show Robin what it looked like.
Howard asked Jeff who his closest living friend is now. Jeff said that would probably be Ed. He has a license. Artie was laughing his ass off after hearing the way Jeff said ''Ed'' and goofed on him. He did his impression of Jeff and goofed on the way he said Ed.
Howard asked Jeff how he knows Ed. Jeff said he lives in the trailer park where he lives. Jeff said that Ed has a job and works, unlike him. Howard asked Jeff if he's jealous that Ed has a job. Jeff said he's not jealous at all. He said that Ed is almost married because he's been living with this chick for 15 years. Howard wrapped up with him a short time later and let him go.
After letting Jeff go Howard played a prank call the guys made using clips of Jeff yelling ''JIM!'' over and over again.
Howard said that Gary was giving him that laugh that he does. Gary said that he thought that he could have put more effort into the song. Howard said he doesn't think that he could make something like that himself but both Gary and Artie were saying that it didn't seem that hard. Artie said that he thinks that Sal and Richard could write something like that.
Ralph called in and said that he thinks it's a great song and he's not even a Kid Rock fan. He said that the song is great in his opinion. Howard said he's not a big fan of Sweet Home Alabama but Kid Rock took that and Werewolves of London and made a great song.
Richard Christy came in and said that he had mixed a couple of songs together. He took David Lee Roth singing Running with the Devil and the music to ''I Love Rock and Roll'' and created a mess. They kind of mixed but they didn't sound right.
Fred said that he's not a big rap person so he thinks that Kid Rock should have been a little more original. He said that he just took other people's music and threw his lyrics over it. Artie said that its' the musical equivalent of the people who stole the ''Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader'' idea from Howard's show. Howard cut everyone off and said that the song is very good and when you have a song that a lot of people like, it's good.
Howard played the George Takei song ''I'm Dreaming of a White Penis'' and used that as an example of a good song that a lot of people like. Howard said that was a guy taking a song that someone else wrote and putting new lyrics to it. Howard also played the ''George is Back In Town'' song parody.
Robin said that she didn't have a lot of time to talk. Howard asked her what she was wearing at the time. She said it was shorts and a t-shirt. Howard asked her if she's touched herself thinking about that guy. Robin said she has not. Howard said he didn't believe that at all.
Howard wished Robin luck with the guy but Robin rolled her eyes. Howard said that she said she wanted a relationship with a younger man. She said that she didn't want a relationship, she just wants a younger man.
Robin said she doesn't have a lot of time to do stuff though because she's traveling. She said that she has a lot of dinner dates and stuff like that going on this week. She said that she's away on Saturday. Howard asked her if she told him she loved him. Robin just laughed.
Howard played Sal and Richard's ''Wake Up Confusion'' prank call where they call this woman, waking her up, and then pretend that she called them and woke them up.
Howard said he didn't get it after he heard the clip. Artie said that he was reading off a card and they were old jokes so he thought it was funny. He said the visual would have helped.
Howard took another call from a guy who thought that Norm did bomb. He said that he hoped that Artie didn't fall off the wagon watching it. Artie said that Norm risked that people wouldn't get it but he didn't think he bombed.
Howard played some more of Norm's stuff where he was doing these lame, clean jokes. Howard kind of chuckled at some of the stuff he was reading. Artie said that the comedians there were laughing and he was kind of ''playing to the back of the room'' so to speak.
Howard told the caller that maybe he should cut it off now instead of dragging it out and making it worse. The caller said that he's living about an hour from this chick now but now he's banging every chick he works with. Howard said that this girl is going to feel even worse if she finds out about it before he breaks it off with her.
Howard asked Robin what Jim said to her when he broke up. Robin laughed and said that she was reading about what John Mayer said to Jennifer Aniston when they broke up. He said something like ''It's not you, it's me... I don't want to waste your time...'' so maybe that's what this guy should say to this girl.
Howard said he has to get that guy John Mayer in there. The caller said that he just got divorced too and he's not sure he should be in a relationship with this girl. Howard told him to get out of it and tell her that maybe he could still be her friend.
Artie said that it sounds like this caller would cheat on any girlfriend based on what he's saying. The caller said that he never cheated until he divorced. He said that now he can't even stay out of it. Then he started hitting on Robin and asked her to come to the place he works as a chef. Howard cut him off around that time and went to break.
Howard had Steve Langford come in after that. Steve said they have a story about Fort Scott, Kansas and how they're not going to allow Howard TV to shoot a Wack Pack special on town property. Howard said he heard about that and the town is objecting to the filming even though they may not be doing anything all that weird.
Steve said they also have a story about Eric the Midget threatening to come to New York City to break his jaw. Steve said that Fratto claims he just hasn't had time to call Eric lately even though Eric is blaming him for keeping Johnny from calling him.
Steve said they have an interview with Richard Lewis and more about Artie's rehab. He also corrected Artie and said he hasn't been clean for 19 days, it's just 15. He got in some plugs for the shows that are on Howard 101 tonight and wrapped up his news preview.
Jon Hein came in next with his Wrap Up Show preview. He quickly ran down the stuff that they were going to be covering today.
Robin started off with a Happy Birthday wish for Jim Florentine. She said that today is his birthday. George didn't know that she had broken up. She said that this is his gift since he appears to like air time. She said that she heard that he was on Bubba's show last week. Robin said she didn't know he was doing the show and she felt that it was a little soon to be doing that. She said she hasn't spoken to him since then but she has texted him.
Howard said that Jim was on Bubba's morning show and afternoon show last week. Robin wondered about that. Howard said he hopes that they remain friends. Robin said she's sure they will remain fine friends.
Howard said he got an e-mail about Robin's rescue over the weekend. She was out jet skiing with a young girl, who is 16, and they saw a couple of guys who were stuck on an island. Robin and this young girl went over and helped them get back to shore. Robin said it was actually on a marsh and they were waved down to go over and help.
Robin said that they asked if they could take two people back and she took two people back on her jet ski while her 16 year old friend followed. Robin said that she doesn't know the people and she didn't want to give them control over one of the jet skis.
Artie said that Robin is bringing over her jet skis for the party he's throwing for her. He asked what exactly it was going to be. Robin said she has a bunch of stuff that they're going to tow over. They'll have kayaks, jet skis, wave runners and her big boat. Captain Dennis is going to be bringing it over for her.
Robin got back to her news and said that Bernie Mac's funeral was held over the weekend. Oprah Winfrey went. Howard said that he would have appreciated an invitation but probably wouldn't have actually gone to it. She had some audio clips from some of the people who did attend the funeral. That led to Artie and Howard doing impressions of Jesse Jackson for a few minutes.
Robin read a story about Gary Glitter getting out of jail. Howard took a call after that from a guy who asked Robin to talk to her friend George Lucas and tell him that he owes him $19.50 for the awful new Star Wars movie he saw this weekend. Howard said that he knew that movie was going to be awful from what he saw in the commercials. Howard said that Lucas has to spend more time on his work.
Robin read some news about a groom who was struck by lightning right before he was getting married. She had some audio of the guy talking about the lightning strike.
Robin had some news about Michael Phelps winning his 8th gold medal. That led to Howard talking about how George did some fencing on Star Trek so they spent a short time on that. Robin had Howard playing some clips of Michael Phelps talking about his medal wins but Howard wasn't able to find the right one.
Robin had some other Olympics news and some stuff about Brett Favre. Artie said that it's kind of exciting that he's coming to New York but he thinks that the Jets are going to continue to let down Gary's kids by losing.
Robin talked about Madonna turning 50. Howard said that it really is hard to believe she's that old. He said you always think of her as that young woman.
Robin said that Barack Obama is going to be announcing who he will pick for Vice President. George said that he thinks that he's going to pick Joe Biden. Howard said he heard that the best Vice President he could get is Wesley Snipes because it would make Barack look white.
Ralph called in and said that they're re-mastering the original Star Trek series. He said that they're just cleaning up the shit in the background and stuff. He said that it looks cool to him. Artie joked that he doesn't like it because they're straightening George's eyes.
A caller asked if George was aroused during the shooting of that fencing scene because it appeared he was holding it back. The guy also asked if they oiled him up for that scene. George claims that was his natural sweat.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about John McCain claiming that he's going to be a pro-life President and they will have pro-life policies. Howard said that's enough to piss him off and make him vote for Obama.
Robin read some news about Ellen Degeneres' wedding to Portia DeRossi. Howard said that he bets that Ellen got a big strap-on cock the night of the wedding.
Robin read a story about rapper DMX not showing up for a court date. Artie said that guy was booked to do the show a few times and never showed up. Howard ended up singing along to some of his favorite DMX songs while they were talking about that. Howard said that Ed Torian the lie detector guy was a big DMX fan and played him singing ''I love my niggas but where's my bitches...''
Robin had some audio of Eva Longoria making a speech at some event. They quickly played that and wrapped up the news and the show a short time later. They ended it around 10:50am.
George said that he hasn't been on the show for quite some time now. He said that the last time was probably back in April. Gary said that he's scheduled to be on the show once a quarter so that's why he comes in every few months.
Gary said that he likes that gay people are allowed to get married because it shows them all of the bullshit that heterosexuals have to go through with weddings.
George said that he's thinking that a pre-nup isn't that bad of an idea after talking to Howard about that. Gary said that they should talk about that because it sounded like he had never even considered that thought. George said that he really hadn't because he and Brad know each other so well. George said that he never gave it a thought until this morning when Howard brought it up.
Jon played some of that conversation between George and Howard about the pre-nup. The guys talked about how this could cause problems if George brings this back to Brad and he has a negative reaction to it. George said that he knows that Brad is listening but he's not sure how he's going to respond to it.
Gary said that Howard doesn't know why people don't think about this stuff but not everyone does. George said that he does have Brad in his will. His money is going to go to Brad when he passes and then after Brad is gone the money goes to the Japanese American Museum. He said that they have all of that covered. Gary said they have that death stuff covered but they have to cover the living part now.
Jon asked George what he's going to start out with, the pre-nup or the sex on Wednesday discussion. George said that he'll probably start out with the sex on Wednesday thing.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they have picked out a wedding song yet. George said they have. He said that they're going to have a singer to sing ''Climb Every Mountain'' before the wedding. They will march to ''One Singular Sensation'' during the wedding. He said they have a lot of diversity in the wedding so they'll have a Japanese horizontal harp playing as the guests arrive. They're also going to have a bagpipe player.
Gary said that they traditionally have a song that they dance to first. George said that they haven't picked that one yet. He said that they do have a lot of other stuff playing during the wedding though. He was going through some of the stuff that they have planned and it's very elaborate. George said they have a planner going through it all with them.
George said that they made a deal with CBS for the wedding. They have one videographer and CBS is getting an exclusive on the shots they use. He said that the rest is being put into a pool for the rest of the media. He said they have one still camera and they are giving an exclusive to People magazine on that and the rest of the pictures go into a pool for the A.P.
George talked about some of the songs that he and Brad are fans of and how they have ''many'' special songs together.
Gary asked if they're going to have any Star Trek themed stuff there. George said hat Walter Koenig and Nichele Nichols will both be in the wedding. Gary said he wanted to go to the wedding but the dates just don't work for him. He won't be able to make it. George also said that Leonard Nimoy is going to be there.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Brad had tired to call George yet. George said that he doesn't have his phone with him but he thinks that Brad would want to wait for him to come home and talk about it in person. Gary said that he knows what it might be like to call Brad and wonder what upset him the most. George said that he learned his lesson when he played the game with Sal when he touched his penis.
A caller asked George what the creepiest experience he's ever had was. George told a story about going to the baths one time and hooking up with some dude who recognized him in there when he said ''Hello there'' to him. George said that the guy said ''Sulu?'' and that made him go limp. He walked away from the guy.
Ralph called in and asked if he could go to the wedding because it sounded like it was going to be a lot of fun. George said that he has had a lot of requests to go to the wedding but they can't invite everyone. He said that they invited Howard, Robin, Artie, Fred and Gary to the wedding but he knew that they weren't going to be able to make it. Ralph said that must be why they invited everyone.
Ralph said that if he went, he'd wear Spoke ears. He asked George if that would be wrong. George said that it would be wrong and that's why he doesn't have an invitation.
Jon took a couple of calls for George and George ended up talking about how he had a painter doing a painting of Brad nude when he was younger. He's doing the same now that he's older so he can have a before and after.
The guys spend a little time asking George if he would be interested in anyone else on the show if they were gay. George said that Howard isn't really his type. He didn't sound interested in Benjy either. The guys talked about how they all knew that he was attracted to Tim's assistant Jared. George wasn't able to remember his name so they had to help him out with that.
A caller asked if they could get in on the wedding if they made a donation to their charity. George said they wouldn't do that but Gary told him that if they did a charity fund raiser for a pair of seats at the wedding, they could probably do very well. George didn't seem to be interested in doing that.
Another caller asked George if he had ever had sex with a woman who was Asian. George said that he was serious with some woman who was African American. He didn't elaborate on that. The caller also asked if George had all of his real teeth. George said he doesn't have any fake teeth and neighbor does Brad. The caller said he had some amazing oral sex with a woman who removed her teeth. George said he's never had that.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked about the gay marriage thing. George talked about that for a short time. He was talking about how he feels he has to vote for a Democrat to be President.
Another caller asked George what he thinks when people introduce him as their gay friend instead of my friend who is gay. George said that he doesn't think that you should refer to people by their race or sexual preference. They spent a short time going back and forth on that subject. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked George about the second season and if he felt that things weren't clicking the way they did in the first. George said that they have to approach every season differently. He said he thinks this season is going to be amazing.
George talked more about the sword fight in Star Trek that he had and how he had planned on fighting with a Japanese sword but ended up fencing instead.
Jon asked George if he knew that they were planning a bachelor party on the show. George said that he never fancied himself a bachelor so he never knew that they were going to do that for him. Gary told him that any guy who isn't married is a bachelor.
Gary talked about some of the stuff they're going to do for George in this bachelor party. He said they have that guy Jonah coming in to show off his huge cock. George whispered ''Will he let me touch it?'' or something like that. Gary said that he may just do that because this guy is a big fan of George's. George said that Brad may want to be there if he's heard about what they're going to be doing.
The caller said that Gary is like the second guy in charge and he should threaten to fire Sal if he does screw up at the wedding. Gary said that he can't fire someone for doing something at Howard's wedding. Gary said that Howard would be furious if he had let Sal go knowing that he could do something to ruin it.
Benjy wanted to bet the guys that Sal will show up at Howard's wedding. Gary was willing to take that bet. He didn't want to bet Jon again though. He had taken their money on the bet that Sal would get an invitation.
Jon said that Sal has become like the Norm of Rick's lately. Gary said that he heard that's what was going on there but he doesn't know all of the details. He didn't get into it much more than that.
Jon took another call from a woman who asked what day George is getting married hoping that it was on a Sunday. George said that it will be on a Sunday. The woman said that's good because that means he'll be getting sex.
Benjy asked if George initiates the sex or if it's Brad. George said that he is usually the one to do it but Brad has done it a couple of times.
Will and Jason came in to talk about their bachelor party at Rick's Cabaret. Jason said that they had a great time and they were treated very well over there. Will said that they would have had a better time if people like Gary had been able to make it. Gary said that he planned on going but he had his kids with him that day. He said that he was thinking about where he could stash the kids but wasn't able to make it. Jason said that a lot of people had to cancel and didn't make it over there.
Jason and Will said that no one bought them dances other than Benjy. Everyone there was just enjoying the free food. Jon said that he tried to buy them a dance but Jason said that he had a really lame way of doing it. He said that Jon asked him which girl he wanted when he should have just sent a girl over for him.
Jason said that he thinks that Sal goes to Rick's for lunch every Thursday so they should have George go too. Jason said that he's had two bachelor parties so far and he'd love to have more. George said he's never been married and he's not sure about these tribal rituals. Benjy said that they base bachelor parties on every 100 pounds you weigh so Jason has one more to go. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about George Takei being there this week. He asked him to do an announce for them to get them started. George read from his script about Benjy and Artie's ''eater's physiques.'' Artie said that George was insulting them already and it was early yet.
George said that Artie only had a Hawaiian Punch back there so far and no food. Artie said he'll show him how bad that is for him. The can he had was 180 calories and he had 4 cans back there with him. Artie said that he will walk all of that off today when he walks to his therapist. The guy is across town so he'll be walking about 14-15 blocks.
Artie said that he told the guy who drives him in the morning to pick him up every day and take him home. Now he gets to walk a bit and he's realized how much he likes the city. He said the broads in the city are unbelievable. He walks through Central Park and they're looking amazing.
George wanted to walk with Artie to his therapist. Artie said that would be great and he can tell his therapist that he's so open minded now that he's dating George Takei.
The guys told Artie he's looking much healthier than he was. Artie thanked them for that and kind of chuckled. He said that he looks kind of dead in the book mock up they have for his upcoming book ''Too Fat To Fish.'' He described what he looks like in some of the pictures.
Howard read that the Hawaiian Punch that Artie had was actually 1.5 servings so he was actually drinking 270 calories. Artie said that the can says it's just one serving and he's not sure where Howard is getting that information.
Howard said that he got a lot of negative e-mail about that conversation they had about the pre-nup. He said that he's glad to see that he gave George some good advice. Artie said that it got George more cock as well.
Howard read an article about Phil Collins who has had another failed marriage. He's been married 3 times now and he loses money every time. The latest one he had to give up $67 million which is even more than Paul McCartney had to give up in his divorce.
Howard read that Collins has dished out more than $84 million in his divorce settlements. Howard said that he must not have had a pre-nup.
Howard read through some of the feedback he got about the pre-nup and sex conversations they had with George yesterday. Someone said that George didn't care about sex that much and Howard should leave it alone. Howard pointed out that George does care about it and that's why he's getting more of it now.
George said that he and Brad have been living together for a long time now so they are different than Phil Collins.
Howard read some more feedback about the conversations and people were telling him to just butt out of his life. Howard said that this is the problem, people don't talk about stuff that bothers them. He said that now that George has spoken to Brad it has helped. George said that it really has helped and solidified their relationship.
Howard bragged that he is terrific and he's glad that George has pointed that out. George said that things are working for him.
Attorney Dominic Barbara called in and said that he had a case one time where the guy had a pre-nup and ended up saving himself $6 billion. He also said that they have different rules over in England and they don't have the protection hat they have here. He was saying that you can't put sex acts into a pre-nup either. It's a financial contract.
Dominic said that there is no difference at all between heterosexual and gay couples. He said that he has one of the first gay divorces in New York right now. He said that they're two well known actors and they're in a custody case right now. He said there is no difference between the two types of couples.
Artie wondered who the well known actors are. Dominic said that he keeps that secret and he can't give out the names.
Dominic said that he had the roof of his Shelter Island house blow off. He also had his indoor pool crack. He said that his boat burned and then a car ran into his car and building and did some damage and he's not even a little bit upset about any of it.
Howard goofed on Dominic by doing his impression and making fun of what he had just said about everything that was going on. He'd hung up on him by that point.
George talked about the song ''Climb Every Mountain'' and ''One Singular Sensation'' that they're going to have playing during the wedding.
Howard played another clip where George talked about the exclusives that they're giving to People magazine and CBS. Gary and Jon told him that he should get paid for that stuff. George said that he's very naive and didn't know that they could get paid for that stuff.
George mentioned that he's going to be on a show called ''Wanna Bet'' tonight where he won $106,000. He said he gave that money to charity. Howard asked if he's supposed to give away that information. George laughed and told him that's a good point.
George said that one of the stunts that they had to bet on was a guy who could lick a CD and tell who the artist was. George said that they shot it last year so he doesn't remember the details of which CD it was.
George mentioned that he was playing against Sheri Sheppard who once said that she has no proof that the earth isn't flat on some show she was on. Howard goofed on her for a minute before getting back to the Wrap Up Show stuff.
Howard played another clip where George talked about the Star Trek co-stars that were going to be at his wedding.
George talked about how Walter Koenig knew that he was gay back when they were working together on Star Trek. He said that Walter would point out some good looking guys, or extras, on set because he knew that he was gay. Artie talked about how he used to bang some extras on the set of MAD TV. He said that it was very odd because there are people who are lifelong extras who make a living out of that job. He said that some of them are young, smokin' hot chicks though.
Howard played another clip where George talked about meeting a guy in the baths and meeting this gorgeous young guy who recognized him as ''Sulu.'' George said that he went limp and had to walk away from the guy when he realized that he had been recognized. Artie said that George is the best guest they've ever had after hearing that story.
George said that the excitement of anonymity is the thing he wanted. That went away when the guy recognized him.
Howard said that David Letterman also went to a gay bath house. He played a prank call Sal and Richard made using Evil Dave, the fake David Letterman.
Howard said that George also admitted that he has a certain type of guy he likes. He played a clip of him talking about that on the Wrap Up Show. George was saying that Howard isn't quite his type. He was also talking about the nude paintings that he had done of Brad. Howard wondered why he didn't just take pictures of Brad nude instead of having him painted.
George said that Brad came from a nudist family and he's used to that. Howard said that it must have been tough standing there nude with painters painting him. George said that with one of the guys it took just one day. Robin asked where they were. George said that they're hanging in their bedroom.
Howard asked if anyone ever sees the pictures. George said that they're in the dressing room part of the bedroom and not hanging out in the open. He said that the cleaning people do see them though. George said that he doesn't remember telling the cleaning woman about the picture but she never complained about it.
Howard asked George if he can see the painting from the shower. George said he can't. Fred threw in a whacking off sound clip while they were talking about that.
Howard asked George if the painter made Brad's penis bigger in the painting. George said that Brad told him that now that he's older, and sitting down in the painting, things didn't look the way he wanted. The painter was able to fix that up for him. He may have been turtle head or ''acorn like'' according to Howard.
Artie asked George what he thought about a guy on the show wanting to take a picture of a young boy naked. George said that it could be art. Artie said it wasn't art though.
Howard asked George what it would cost to have a painting like that done. George said that it depends on the artist but it could be in the tens of thousands. He also said that Brad went natural in the pictures and didn't shave down at all. Howard said he wants to see this picture but George said that won't be happening.
Howard played some more of the Wrap Up Show stuff where George was asking if he was going to be able to touch Jonah Falcon's penis when he comes in for the bachelor party.
Howard said that they were talking about Wendy and Gary the Retards about the use of the word ''retard'' being used in the movie ''Tropic Thunder.'' Howard played a clip of Gary the Retard saying that they should leave the word in the movie. Wendy said she thinks it's wrong because people won't know that they're retarded if they take that word away from them.
George said that it all depends on the way the word is used. Howard said that he doesn't believe that George would be offended by the way it was used in that movie.
Robin mentioned that she watched the first episode of Wack Pack Bowling and thought it was very funny. Howard said that they have something on Howard TV where they have Richard Christy doing ''Inside the Porn Actor's Studio.'' He talked about that show a little bit and recommended it to the fans to check out.
George said that JD is interesting to him. He said he's cute. Artie cut him off and said ''We get it...'' Howard asked George what JD's last name is. George said he thought it was ''D.'' Howard told him that it's actually Harmeyer.
Artie said that yesterday that Miss Howard TV chick told him that she wasn't attracted to him and he didn't hear anything after that. He said that he just wants to hear that she wants to fuck him and nothing else.
Howard said that the guys isolated Artie's voice from the Pete from Pittsburgh call that happened recently and used it in a prank call to Pete's Pizza. They had Artie yelling at this guy from the pizza place and the guy fighting back. The guys got a laugh out of that. Robin said that was hysterical. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard said that Beth's tattoo is a brown color and it may be rubbing off because of the location. Howard said that Beth was kind of bummed that she had to have it touched up.
George asked what it is that Howard sees in tattoos. Howard said he likes the way tattoos look on people and how they're kind of cool and rebellious. Robin said that everyone is doing it though so it's not that cool.
Howard said he thinks it looks cool and that's about it. George said that it can be very ugly and graffiti like. Howard said he gets that too. He said that some people get really shitty tattoos.
Howard said the guy at Sacred Tattoo has his face tattooed and you try and pretend not to notice it. It's tough to talk to the guy though. He said that guy was really nice too. Robin said the full body tattoos are really strange too.
Artie said that it is odd when someone gets their face tattooed. It pretty much takes them out of the running for any normal job. Howard said that almost everyone there at SIRIUS is tattooed but when he goes to a family function he's like the only one there that has any. He said that he looks kind of cool when he's the only one.
Howard said that Daniel is involved in some kind of contest to open up for Motley Crue. Daniel said that the first phase is an online vote thing and he'd like some help from his friends to get in on it. He said that they go and play for Motley Crue if they get enough votes. Howard asked Daniel if he'd play ''We Gotta See Robin Naked'' when he goes for the audition and played some of that song. Howard told him he guarantees that he'll get the gig if they play that one.
Robin said that Daniel and the band played too long at Artie's comedy show last year. Artie said that was a comedy show though and he thinks that they'd be great opening for Motley Crue.
Howard asked how old Daniel is. He said he's just over 30. Howard said it's about time that they hit it big. Artie said that he saw Daniel and he is just over 30... about 12 years over 30.
Daniel said that you can go to BleedingDeacons.com and they'll have the link to the page where you can vote for them. He said the one thing that kind of sucks is that you have to register at the site where you vote. Howard let Daniel go after he got in the plug. Howard played another one of their songs before he moved on.
Howard said that the guys in the Bleeding Deacons like the song ''143'' that they did about Sal's wife. He played that one after explaining to George that the ''143'' means ''I Love You'' when you text someone.
Howard said that the guys are going to be playing at an upcoming Killers of Comedy show. That led to Artie talking about how he thinks that he talked himself into being in Bob Levy's corner when he fights Danny Bonaduce. He said that Bob is telling people that he's going to be there so now he thinks he has to show up.
Howard asked Robin some questions about his show to find out if she really listened to the show. Robin didn't know that much about him. Howard said that she's not really a fan if she doesn't know that stuff. Robin said that she liked him on Letterman and stuff like that.
The guys threw a bunch of questions at Robin about Russo and she didn't know answers to any of them. She said that she used to listen to the show once in a while and she enjoyed what she heard. Howard said that he's glad that he's coming to the company and that they can offer his show to the fans.
Howard said that Sal is definitely off the list but they over invited for the wedding and they were hoping that people wouldn't be able to come. Howard said that only 4 people can't come. Two of them are Brad and George. George said that they're going to be on their honeymoon that week.
Howard told Gary to write Beth a note and let her know that Lisa was ''yentering'' it up with Jillian and now she thinks she's invited. Gary said that Howard asked him to write Beth a note and invite her and that's what he said on the air. Howard said that Beth told him that they don't have the room and he wasn't aware of that.
Howard told Lisa that he's trying to fly under the radar with that stuff and this news department is making things tough. He said that creating that news team was a bad idea because he didn't want them to cover him, he wanted them to cover the other people on the air. He said that they jump on these stories and make things tough for him.
Howard said that he went out to get his marriage license yesterday and he was looking over his shoulder looking for Lisa. He said he knows that she was watching the web cam in front of City Hall to see if he was going in.
Howard said that he had to bring a bunch of stuff to get the license and it dawned on him that he was getting married again. He said that they only have two spaces on the form to fill out to show how many times you've been married. He said that if this marriage doesn't work out then he's going to have to have an addendum done to the paperwork if he ever marries again.
Howard said that Beth still doesn't know what name she wants to go by. He asked George if they're going to swap names or anything when they marry. George said they're going to keep their names but Brad was thinking of becoming Altman-Takei. Howard said that would be cool. He said that they could also both change their last names to ''Sulu.''
George was telling the guys that sometimes he and Brad will play around and wrestle with each other. Fred said that it must be Grecco-Roman wrestling. George said that's exactly what it is. Howard wanted to get more details so he asked him if he holds him down and stuff. George said that they do that and they don't have a winner or loser, they end up having sex. Fred threw in some fight sound effects in the background as they were talking about that.
Howard said he was filling out the paperwork and they had to fill out the paperwork or they'd have to go through a whole ceremony again. He said that Beth filled it out as ''Beth Stern'' but that doesn't mean that's what she's going to use. He said she could still go by Beth Ostrosky in her professional career.
Artie said that there are some open ended questions there and the kids thing is still up in the air to him. Howard said there is no question there. He said that she doesn't want kids. Artie said it's going to be very tough for him to bail on her if she does have a kid. Howard said he knows that but he doesn't want kids.
Howard said that there are two women in there, Lisa and Robin, and they are both barren. He said that there are actually 3 women in there because George is in there. George said that he has a grand niece and nephew so that's how he gets his fill of kids.
Howard asked George if Brad has a girl name for him. George said he doesn't. Artie said that he was out on the road a few months ago and this one guy had a theory that Robin's nephew Anthony is actually her son. Howard said that's not true. Howard asked Lisa if she's fine without kids. Lisa said she doesn't have any regrets about not having any. Artie asked her about her sweater and asked if he could try it on. She gave him the sweater and he tried to put it on his massive body. Jason was taking pictures as he tried to put it on. George was laughing his ass off when he saw what was going on. Howard told Artie he should have taken his shirt off first.
Artie started doing an impression of Lisa asking Howard questions. Howard said that it looked like a cape on a super hero. Artie said he was the gay Hulk. He goofed on Lisa for a short time asking Howard questions about his wedding and if they were coming to her cookie party.
Artie finished Lisa's news preview for her by reading her notes. She had a bunch of various stories about Robin and her rescue of some boaters, Robin and Jim and some other stuff. Artie read it all while Lisa tied her sweater into a bow on him. She had some stuff about the Jillian Barberie story as well.
The guys asked Artie to try and take the sweater off but Artie said that he had ruined it and he would buy her something new from Barney's if she wanted. Lisa sounded excited about that.
Howard asked Lisa if she ever gets out in the sun. Lisa said that she can't go in the sun because she gets pre-cancerous stuff growing on her.
Artie said that he ripped the sweater in the back and he was going to have to get her something new. Artie told her he didn't have time to go to Barney's and offered her a $10 bill to go get two sweaters. He was just joking and said that he would take her to Barney's.
Howard said that he can't believe that Lisa has never married. He figures that she's been looking for that one special love and she just can't find it. Lisa said that's just not the case and she's very happy. She said that she has come close to getting engaged but she's never had anyone ask her to marry them.
Lisa told Howard that he could set her up on a date. Howard said that he knows a lot of great women but all of his guy friends are assholes. That led to Artie pointing out that Howard has never set him up with any of the great women he knows. Howard said that Artie has a type and he wouldn't be into these chicks. Artie said that he doesn't have a type other than being into hot chicks. Howard said that these chicks would give him a harder time about the drugs and stuff than even Dana did.
Artie said that he will really bring Lisa to Barney's. He said that he thinks of her as Robin Williams in that movie ''One Hour Photo'' and being kind of a stalker-type. They had to go to break a short time later.
Robin said that she always wanted someone to write a song about her and now it won't stop. She said that you have to be careful what you wish for. Howard said that it would be something else if Richard actually got Robin's brown mound. He said he could imagine what that would look like. Fred kept playing the Curly clips as they were talking about that.
Benjy had his Shofar there and started to play that along to the song. Howard asked Benjy if his sister was in the paper today because he saw her name, Robin Bronk, in an article. He said that she's working on some movie with Barry Levinson. Robin Bronk works for the Creative Coalition and she was mentioned in the article that Howard was reading.
Howard said that he was going to do a movie with Barry Levinson and it would have been really cool if he had been able to do it. Howard said he was one of those guys who saw him and wanted to put him in a movie. That doesn't happen very often. Artie said that some guys are good at picking out talent like that. Artie said they saw him out one night when they went to dinner with Gary. Artie said he could tell the guy was a big fan of the show because he knew his name. Robin said that Barry actually cast Richard Belzer in some shows based on what he heard on the show.
Howard played a couple more clips where some people were walking past live news crews and threw out some Baba Booey references. In one news report there was a woman who yelled out ''Stern rules! Baba Booey!'' which you don't hear often.
Howard played another one where they were calling a golf game and someone threw out a Baba Booey right after the golfer hit the ball.
Howard had a clip of a guy calling into NPR. He said he's not sure if it's a goof or not. He said that the guy is so nervous that he can't talk. They're very patient with him and it's kind of like that character that Richard does called ''Nervous Mark.'' He played the clip where they were interviewing Michael Palen from Monty Python. The caller gets on and starts to get really nervous and locks up and stars to lose his breath. Howard said that the guy sounds very much like that Nervous Mark. Howard played an example of Richard doing that character.
George was confused about the call that Richard made and thought that it wasn't really Richard. Howard said that he was comparing the two and that was Richard in the second clip.
Scott came in and told Howard that his cousin is shorter than him, just as bald and kind of stocky. He said that he's not sure if he's working right now either. He said that he is Jewish and he is a great guy too. He said that the Jewish party may be the only compatible part of him with Lisa.
Scott said that he's not even sure what his cousin does for a living. He said he thinks that he's a good guy. Howard asked Scott if he thinks that he's a good guy himself. Scott said that he's not.
Scott said his cousin is 36 and is living with his mother right now. Howard said he'll check into this for him and told Scott to let him know he'll do that. Howard played a prank call that Richard made to a guy using some Scott the Engineer audio clips.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who asked how this Mad Dog thing is going to effect Ferrall. Howard said they're going to fire him. He was just joking though. Howard wondered how much they're going to be paying Chris Russo. The caller said that he read that it's $3 million per year. He signed on for 5 years according to the caller.
Howard said that this won't effect Scott Ferrall, he's their sports guy and Russo will have his own channel to do his thing. Artie thinks that they'll both fit in just fine.
Howard counted down while Eric yelled at him that he had been waiting on hold the whole time. He said that he wanted to hear from the guy but he just wasn't there. Eric screamed at Howard to stop it. Howard eventually came around and said that he had been waiting to hear him. Eric said that he's been sitting there the whole fucking time and he didn't move.
Eric was calling Robin a ''retarded bitch'' and going off on her. Howard said that they were running out of time and he had 10 seconds left to say what he wanted to say.
Eric said that he wanted to call in to apologize for yesterday's call. By this time they had a clip of Eric yelling ''Shut up!'' that Fred kept playing over and over again. That had Artie cracking up. He said he loves this kid.
Fred kept playing the clip while Eric was trying to talk. Eric said he wanted to apologize for the call he made yesterday and to say that Johnny's magazine coming out today and to congratulate George on his wedding. George thanked him for that and Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard asked George about a bunch of terms he had about gay people. They were various terms that gay people might use for other gay people, gay stuff or friends to gay people. He threw out a bunch of them and George knew a lot, but not all, of them. Howard told George he did horribly. George said that he had been out of the loop for quite some time so he wasn't familiar with all of them. Howard had George give them a quick announce before they went to break.
Howard said that Aaron smelled of weed and then handed him some new kind of vodka. It was Hammer Sickle vodka and Howard said he was going to try it. He asked the guys if they were going out on tour again. They said that they've been out since June.
Howard said that these guys are the only band that's willing to come in and have some fun with them with this karaoke stuff. Howard said that it's kind of cool when they come in and play a Cher song. One of the guys said that it's the opposite of cool when they play a Cher song. They actually had to turn down some songs because they weren't able to figure out how to do them.
Howard said that he wanted to have Ronnie go first. He said that they're going to judge all of the guys and give the winner $500 courtesy of the Man Groomer.
Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and said that he wanted to perform ''Sweet Caroline'' but Howard didn't' want him to that one. Howard said he thought that the band didn't want to perform that one. Ronnie said that they never said that and they can't even play this Cher song.
Howard told Ronnie to go for it. The band played and Ronnie sang ''If I Could Turn Back Time.'' Ronnie lost his spot so Howard told him to stop and sit down. He said that the band sounded great and they were doing a good job while Ronnie sucked.
Howard said the band sounded good and he couldn't even hear Ronnie because he wasn't on mic. Howard gave him a 0.0 score on that performance. He asked Aaron to sing the song but Artie said he had to turn away if he did that. Aaron said that it was too high for him... and then said that he was too high. Howard said that he would try it if he had a great singing voice.
Artie said he wanted to turn back time about 61 years and hire an abortion doctor. Ronnie went off on him about that.
Jason was up next and he was going to perform Aerosmith's ''What it Takes.'' He came in wearing rock star sunglasses and belted out the song. The band was great once again with Jason not so great. Howard told him to sit the fuck down a short time into it. Jason was trying to hit the high notes and screeching like an injured dog.
Howard said the band sounds really good. He said that he was going to give Jason two points on that. Howard had the third contestant, Tim Sabean the program director, come in and perform ''Fulsom Prison Blues'' by Johnny Cash. The guys in the band said that this song was a fun one to learn. Tim wasn't coming in so Howard asked him to hurry up and get in there. Tim was in a meeting so he was a little late. Howard asked him what kind of meeting it was. Tim said it was with Scott (Greenstein).
Tim said it smelled like weed in there. Artie told him ''Shut up copper...'' Tim then went into his song and actually did an okay job with it. Howard cut him off and told him to sit down because it was horrible. The band kept playing for a short time. Howard figured that they were going on because they were high.
Howard said that Tim wasn't really horrible. The guys in the band said that his timing was off and that's why he was screwing up. Tim said the smell of weed was throwing him off. Robin thought Tim was better than Ronnie and Jason. Gary said he kind of picked a song he didn't really have to sing. It was mostly talking. The majority of the guys were picking Tim as the winner so far. Fred said that none of them were good and Tim should be sent to Fulsom prison.
Howard said that JD was up next. He was going to perform The Who's ''Won't Get Fooled Again.'' Everyone could tell that JD wasn't looking forward to doing this. They said he looked miserable when he came walking in. Howard told JD that he could win $500 right now if he could pull this off. The band started the song and JD gave a half hearted attempt at singing. The band tried to help him out with some of it but it just wasn't happening. Artie said that was one of the best songs in rock and roll and JD just ruined it.
Fred asked JD if he purposely didn't put any effort into that. Howard told JD that he was horrible. Artie said that Jared Fox would have put some effort into it. JD had walked out by that point.
Howard said that Scott the Engineer was up next and he was going to sing ''Ohio'' by Crosby Stills, Nash and Young. Howard asked him to put some effort into it. Gary said that Scott has been rehearsing every day in his studio with this song. Scott said that he was trying to learn the lyrics and he'll probably screw them up anyway. The band started the song and Scott attempted to sing. The band backed him up with some of the lyrics which wasn't really helping Scott too much. They were doing a great job covering the song though.
Howard let that song go all the way through. Artie said that was like Neil Young on chemo. He told the band that they were great and did some great guitar work. Howard said that it was good that the band covered Scott during that song. Howard said he thinks that Scott just won that competition. He was going to give him the $500. Howard thanked Man Groomer for the $500 and gave them some plugs.
Artie said that the new album was called ''The Illusion Of Progress'' and he liked that. Howard asked Aaron what that was about. Aaron said that they were all standing around talking and not getting anything done and he said that it was like an illusion of progress and that's how he came up with the name of the album.
Howard said he read that AC/DC just made a deal with Wal-Mart where they're selling only in their stores. Aaron said that they bought 3 million copies and they're non-returnable. That's a great deal for AC/DC.
The guys in the band were talking about how tough the music industry is right now and how they have to hope that they're making a whole album that is listenable the whole way through so people will buy the whole thing. Howard said that the art of the album has been lost over the past few years.
Howard said the guys were going to perform the song ''Believe'' from their new album. He asked the guys if they wanted Scott to help them out with their song. Scott yelled out that he doesn't know the words.
Howard asked Aaron about the song and what it was about. Aaron tired to explain how he wrote it and Howard said it sounded like he had no idea what it was about. Aaron said that he was high and it was really about hoping that someone believes in you.
Howard said that the band is going to be performing at the Hard Rock in Manhattan tonight. He said that you can find out where they're performing at Staind.com too. The guys went into their song after that.
Howard said that he believes in Aaron after that. He said that they did a beautiful job there. He asked one of the guys what he was doing on the guitar. He said they call it hacking. He demonstrated that a little bit more. Howard told the guys they sounded really good.
Artie asked who was playing rhythm and lead on the ''Ohio'' song. They told Artie who was doing what. Artie seemed impressed.
Howard asked the guys if they have to practice this new song that they performed this morning. They said that they know the song already so they don't have to rehearse it that much. Howard said that Aaron's voice sounds great. Robin said that it does sound good considering how much he smokes. One of the guys said that Aaron has a cigarette or a joint in his mouth at all times. Aaron said that sometimes he has both at the same time in the recording studio. He said he had given up smoking cigarettes for about 4 years at one point but went back to it.
Aaron said that he was going through a lot of stuff and that's what drove him back to smoking. He said that his wife was pregnant and they thought that the baby might have some genetic defects and that's what drove him back. Howard said that he used to smoke and it really makes no sense. Artie told Aaron that Howard and those guys are health nuts and he shouldn't listen to him.
That led to the guys talking about heroin and how Aaron never tried it because he knows that if he did, he'd like it and get hooked. Artie said that's what happened to him. He said he tried it, laid on a bed and said ''Uh oh, I'm in trouble...'' The guys thought that was funny. Howard had to wrap up a short time later so he could go to break.
Howard mentioned that Howard TV is going to be with him through the end of his contract there at SIRIUS. They were only supposed to be there for 3 years but now they've extended that through the end of the contract. Howard got in some plugs for the Wack Pack Bowling, Beat the Booey, On the Road with the Killers of Comedy and a bunch of other shows they have coming up.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said that they have an apology from Doug Herwitt from HowardStern.com about not putting the picture of her tattoo up on the web site when she sent it over. Howard said that it was an exclusive though.
Steve said they have an interview with Richard's father about their town refusing to let Howard TV shoot on city property. Howard said that they will be shooting at the Christy's house, just not on city property. Howard said that they have a new voice mail from Richard's dad so he played that. In the clip Richard's dad talked about cleaning up the barn with the dog out there with him. They had a snake in the barn and the dog, Bobby, barked at it and tried to protect him. He left him alive because they kill mice and stuff. Richard's dad also said that he was recognized by someone who had stopped by to ask for directions.
Howard had Beetlejuice on the phone. He had something to say but he wasn't saying it at first. Then Beet said that he's going to see Staind tonight at the Hard Rock. Howard reminded everyone that Staind had performed the Beetlejuice song for them. Beet claimed that he was going to be there performing with the band tonight and singing all of their songs.
Howard said that Beet had given up on singing for a while but it sounds like he's back to singing. Howard let him go a short time later.
Eric the Midget was on the phone again. He wanted to yell at Steve Langford. Eric said that he left some voice mails for Steve and he thought they were going to play them today. Howard said they weren't but he could yell at Steve if he wanted to. Eric complained that Steve has been screwing things up for him with Johnny. He said that he wanted to get on the air when Johnny was on the show the other day and Howard didn't put him on. Howard said he didn't see his call, otherwise he would have put him on.
Steve said that he has nothing to do with Eric's problems with Johnny and Johnny and he are the best things that have ever happened to Eric. Steve said that Johnny is a busy man. He said that he spoke to Johnny about this and Johnny said that he's just busy and not upset with him at all.
Howard said that Eric sounds like a woman that wants to date a guy so bad that she keeps calling and asking why he won't call. Eric said that he was supposed to do something later this month and he hasn't heard anything from Johnny yet. Howard told him he should just tell Johnny that he can't go if he doesn't update him.
Eric said it was supposed to be a paid thing that he was going to do. He said that Brandy Talore was supposed to be there too. Howard asked Fred how much money was supposed to come in with that. Fred played the ''Zero point zero'' clip.
Steve said they have an update on the Jesus Twins brother who died and the funeral that was being held. They'll have more on that today on Howard 100 News.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down the list of things they were going to cover today and mentioned the karaoke contest. That led to the guys talking about how little effort JD put into that performance. JD came in and said that he's not a singer and he tried his best. Howard said that he didn't try his best. JD insisted that he did. Howard said that if there was some pussy at stake, he would have tried harder. JD just laughed and asked him to leave him alone.
Robin said that she wished that they could have had Jared come in and perform right after JD. Howard said that JD disrespected the show today.
Howard said that Aaron really smelled like weed today. He said that it's become a part of his demeanor. Artie said that he walked by him and he thinks he's going to fail his piss test today. He said that the piss tests are actually random and he doesn't know when he's going to be tested. He joked that he gets his urine from the interns there. Jon Hein fished up his Wrap Up Show preview a short time later.
Robin read some news about the Olympics and mentioned the commercials they were running for ''Heroes.'' Howard said he's looking forward to the new season and he thinks that George is very good in his role on the show. Howard said that he's got a great role to sink his teeth into. George said he can't talk about what's going on with the show since he signed a non disclosure agreement.
Robin read some news about Michael Phelps and his gold medal wins bringing NBC some great ratings. Howard took a call during that discussion from a guy who asked if he thinks that anyone will surpass what he has done in radio. Howard said he doubts that and his talent is so vast and commanding that he was able to do something that no one else has been able to do. That led to Howard talking about how there is no break out star in radio right now. He said that he's terrific himself and he doesn't think that anyone out there is doing anything interesting.
Howard said that people who have said he sucks in radio can't even say that anymore because of what he's been able to do.
The caller asked Artie if he'd be willing to do a full physical on the show. Artie said he would not be up for that on the air. Howard asked him why he hasn't had one done yet. He said that he just hasn't gotten around to it.
Robin read a story about a 12 year old kid who is over 7 feet tall already. Howard said that's a curse to a kid that age. He said that he will probably end up there on the show though. Robin said he's another Big Foot. Robin said that everything on the kid is over sized so he has giant joints, too many teeth and more. They've had to remove 12 of his teeth so far.
Howard took some phone calls and one guy asked if they can play their music on other channels there. Howard said they don't do that with the music but they do cross promote there.
Wendy the Retard called in and said that she was trying to help her mom out with some stuff and she wants to get her some money for food. Howard said that he just sent her money. Wendy said that she needs money for her cat too. Howard told her that he can't keep sending her money. Wendy said that they have to bail her sister out of jail and they don't have money. Howard said that they can't keep sending her money to spend on xBox and beer. Wendy said she hasn't been doing that lately.
Howard hung up on Wendy to get rid of her. He told Gary to give her Tim Sabean's number or maybe Mad Dog's number since he's got 15 million coming to him.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about a 2 headed turtle that was stolen. Howard said that the guy put it on display for the kids to see in his neighborhood and someone took it immediately. He said you can't do anything nice anymore. Artie said that the guy could name the turtle ''Flo and Eddie.'' Howard said that would be funny to them or anyone who knows of The Turtles.
Robin read some news about Chris Russo moving to SIRIUS. The guys spent a short time talking about him and one caller said that they used to bad mouth Howard on Russo's show. Howard said that he wouldn't even know that, he didn't listen. Artie said that he thinks that it had something to do with working with Imus over there at WFAN and he'd like to find out what they really think of Imus.
Robin read some news about the Little League World Series, a plan to lower the drinking age that some college professors are pushing for and a story about teens suffering from high blood pressure from not getting enough sleep. That led to Howard talking about how his kids hate to go to bed and they stay up really late into the wee hours of the morning. He said he tries to tell them that they're missing out on the day when th