Mark's Friggin Review of 'Supertwink' The Movie - 01/04/06

I Laughed, I Cringed, I Threw Up In My Mouth... The Richard Christy/Sal the Stockbroker low-budget movie ''Supertwink'' made it's debut on Howard Stern On Demand this week. This was one of the first Howard Stern On Demand shows that I watched. It's a good thing this wasn't the first thing I watched... I may have canceled the service if it was.

Back in October, 2005 Howard Stern instructed J.D. Harmeyer to create a movie for his new On Demand channel. Somehow that project became Richard Christy and Sal the Stockbroker's project. That movie was ''Supertwink'' which was inspired by a gay porn movie of the same name.

''Supertwink'' was very low budget, $700 according to what I heard Richard Christy say on the air during Howard's test show on January 3. ($3-4,000 according to Doug Goodstein). The low budget shows in every part of this movie. You notice the problems right from the start of the movie. You can see right through Dan the Song Parody Man's thong underwear because of some poor green-screen special effects in the opening scene. As soon as I saw that I said ''Uh oh...'' and didn't have high hopes for this thing.

Forget about acting. Everyone in this movie, except for Artie Lange, was no where close to being an actor. Steve Freid (Wood Yi), High Pitch Eric, Joey Boots, Dan the Song Parody Man, Will Murray and many others made their ''acting'' debuts in this train wreck. It wasn't pretty.

For the first few minutes of this movie I wasn't laughing. I almost threw up when I saw High Pitch Eric sucking on a sausage with spit dripping off the end... Ugh! I'm still getting the dry heaves thinking about that. There were some funny moments to come though. Artie Lange plays the part of a plumber who visits a gay bar where Fred the Elephant Boy has managed to get a gerbil (a stuffed animal) stuck in his ass. Artie has to plunge the gerbil out of Elephant Boy's ass. That was pretty funny but then Elephant Boy starts kissing his saved animal and rubs it all over his face. The next thing you know, he's got some type of brown matter on his face. Disgusting but funny.

Comedian Mike Bochetti made an appearance in this movie as a bartender and it was another stand-out performance... not that it was great acting, he's just got a very amusing look and demeanor that comes out on screen. Will Murray had another stand-out performance when he appeared at the gay bar with ''man goo'' on his face and mouth. He asked to borrow a glass and spit a white substance into a glass. It was another disgusting, yet funny, scene.

Gary the Retard makes an appearance, under Sal's desk, and may have been one of the best actors in the movie. Sal may have overacted a little bit but he showed some promise believe it or not. Richard Christy's acting wasn't anything special but seeing him dressed as a woman was kind of amusing, and sickening at the same time. More dry heaves...

I won't try to explain the plot of the movie because it's so ridiculous and pointless... but I will say that it's basically a soft-core gay porn comedy(?). Even though I thought the movie was horrible, I had to sit through the whole thing. I thought it had to get better toward the end but when Sal the Stockbroker made an appearance as Captain Sack, I almost puked... again.

The best part of the movie may have been the review that Richard Roeper did for the movie. He did his review without his partner Roger Ebert. Ebert refused to participate in the review. Roeper gave a scathing review of the film and didn't hold back when bashing it.

I'm sure there are great things to come on Howard Stern On Demand in the future. This movie just wasn't one of them. On Thursday, January 5, Doug Goodstein (Exec. Producer for Howard Stern On Demand) and Ralph Cirella discussed making Supertwink the way Ralph wanted to make it while appearing on Super Fan Round Table. Ralph believes that if he has a big enough budget, he can make the movie a success. Let's hope that it's better than this version.

See Supertwink on Howard Stern On Demand. Visit InDemand.com or call your local cable operator for more information.