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Howard said Demi Lovato has 145 million followers on Instagram. He said she's going to come in and talk about her life. He said she had it tough. He said she struggles with addiction. He said she has been famous for a long time. He said she actually has 157 million followers. He said he was wrong when he said 145. He said last week he thought it was 9 million. He was even impressed with that.
Howard said the guys were talking about setting up a wall and trying that out. He said Memet thinks he can do the same thing. He said it's embarrassing that law enforcement can't catch this guy. Robin said they set up some barb wire after someone else did the same thing and that didn't work so this guy got out. Howard said the guard got fired over this too. He said he was snoozing apparently. He said no one thought this guy would get out.
Howard read some stats about prisoners escaping and how they're on the rise. Howard said he thought they had that shit locked down. He said it's fucked up. Robin said the guy keeps showing up on cameras but they can't catch him. Howard said Robin has one of those Ring cameras. He said the guy shaved and he looks different. He said they still can't catch him.
Howard said this guy has somehow gotten around the perimeter they set up to catch him. Robin said he's been able to shave and make him self look different. Howard said they call the way he got out the crab walk but that's not what it is. He said he did a crab walk in school and it wasn't the same thing. He did more of a Spider-Man thing. He said they're going to set it up to see how that works.
Howard had JD come in to demonstrate a crab walk. JD came in and Howard said he still doesn't have COVID, right? JD said he's fine. He said he did not test but he hasn't been sick. Robin said this is what we're dealing with. Howard said we're fucked.
Howard had JD do the crab walk thing. JD demonstrated. Howard said that's it. He said we're on radio and no one has an idea of what he did.
Howard said he heard the Bengals got blown out. JD said they did. Howard said now he's sitting next to him. JD said he tested like a month ago and tested negative. Howard said now he's making shit up. JD said he's not. He said he took a test and he swears on the life of his brother. He said that he was negative. Robin said it was just one test. She said it should be two.
Howard asked JD about the Bengals. JD said they got killed. He explained what was going on with the team. He said the score was like 23-3. Fred played a Gilbert Gottfried laugh.
Howard said get out of there with his COVID. He said he's going to set him up with Demi. He remembered she has a boyfriend though. JD said she likes guys with tattoos. Howard said imagine JD Lovato.
Howard answered a knock at the door. It was fake Trump who said they have to build a wall to keep out the Brazilians. Howard and fake Trump spent a short time talking about the prison break and crab walking. Trump said he could probably escape like that himself. He said he's in fantastic shape. He said he has more abs than anyone. Howard said he should start practicing his crab walk now with all of the indictments he has.
Howard said the show he was talking about was Special Ops Lioness. He said it's Zoe Saldana in the show. He went through what that show is about. He said it's very erotic. Robin said there's another Equalizer moving coming out. She wondered how there's a TV show Equalizer. Howard said he loves Queen Latifah as the Equalizer. He said if she just lost a few pounds. He said maybe Ozempic. He said he's so mad at Ozempic. He said it's not fair. Robin said she was talking to a doctor this weekend and they were saying that the side effects could come later from using it. She said people are willing to take it anyway.
Howard said he had a wild weekend. He said he went to the hospital to take a test. Robin said she was wondering about that pee test. Howard said he found that he pees so often in the middle of the night. He said he has an enlarged prostate. He said he got bummed out by that. He said they took a sonogram and you drink water to see how much gets out. He said that you have to drink a whole bottle of water and see how much you have in there and then see how much got out.
Howard said he didn't want to do this. He said he knew it was going to be bad news. He said one of the options was to go on Cialis. He said he doesn't want to do that. He said he's not sure why he even did this ''void test.'' He said he went and did the test and the nurse was really nice. He said Beth came with him. He said he had her stay in the room with him. Robin asked if she was in the room while he peed. Howard said just the sonogram part. He said he can't pee in front of them. He said they went through the test and he made his jokes about it being twins and all of that.
Howard said they did the test and it turns out he got rid of his urine. He said now it turns out there is no situation. He said his new instructions are that he should wait a half hour. He said now the feeling goes away. He said he's so happy about that. He said he told Beth that he was so happy. He said he asked her to look at the paper and she didn't want to look at it. He said she said she already knew the results. He said he was so excited about it. He said he got into a tiff with her. Robin asked why she has to look at it. Howard said he was excited. Howard said he does everything wrong apparently.
Howard said Beth went out on Saturday. He said Ross came over for dinner with him. He said he hung out with him.
Howard was doing his impression of his mother while talking about all of that. He said she wanted to have Beth there to tell her where to hang the paintings. He said he was going to stick them somewhere under a counter. He said she was fine with that. He said she wanted Beth to figure out where to hang them. He said it's every minute with Beth with his mom.
Howard said his mother got upset about not wanting to tell him her problems. He said she doesn't like her nail clippers. He said someone comes to cut them for her. He said she can't do anything for herself anymore. He said she hates the nail clippers. He said she wants the woman who cuts her hair to cut her nails. He said he said she can do that but she doesn't want to hurt the feelings of the person who cuts her nails. Howard said he told her not to worry about it. He said he'd call her and let her know. He said she didn't know if he should do that. Howard said he made a phone call for her.
Robin said he knows that the Dan's Papers is going to be an issue. Howard said he knows. He said she's going to get upset about it. He said he thinks that she has that escaped prisoner in her apartment. Robin said he'll end up turning himself in.
Howard said he was with his mom and then went into the city and hung out with his daughter all afternoon. He said he loves where she's living. He said they have a new apartment and she's married now. He said he went in and gave some decorating tips. He said he hung out with his daughter for a couple of hours and took a nap. He said he was tired. He said Beth was at a baby shower. He said that she was busy with that. He said she probably got COVID. He said that he didn't sleep with her last night. He said he went to bed early. He said he was exhausted.
Howard said he probably has COVID himself. He said he's been hanging around his wife. He said he probably has COVID and brought it back to JD. He asked Fred how he's doing. Fred said he's good. He hasn't had COVID. Fred said he has somehow avoided it. He said he wore a mask a lot and did the Purell shit a lot. He said he has stayed away from people as much as he can too.
Robin asked if Howard hugged Fred. Howard said he did not. He said he just said hello. Fred said he hasn't hugged Howard before. Howard said they have. He said he does the bro-hug thing. He said it's good to see him. Fred said it's great to see him too. He said he looks good. Howard said he doesn't look good.
Howard said he thinks he looks old. Fred said he looks terrific. Howard said he sees pictures of himself and he can't take it. He said he looks so old. He said he got pictures from his daughter. He said he was never a good looking man but he should have appreciated it back when he was in his 40s and 50s. Robin said he never enjoyed it. Howard said exactly. He said he wished he was better looking. Robin said his mom said he was handsome. Howard said she's so high she doesn't know what she's saying. He said she's on morphine and mood enhancing drugs. He said she's still bummed out.
Howard said his mom wanted to die before all of those drugs. He said that stuff works. He said she really is a lot better. He said it was really defeating. He said he felt bad she was alive. Robin said she doesn't make drugs sound like fun.
Howard said that's like what those pedophile guys say. He said they claim it was the 5 year old's decision to do things. Robin said it's about the age not meaning anything.
Howard played more of the clip and did his Elvis impression talking about the time he did have sex with her. He said she was 15 and a day. Howard talked about Elvis having the brain of a goldfish.
Howard went on and on for a few minutes as Elvis making up stories about his mom and Priscilla. He was cracking himself up with his made up stories. Howard Elvis said that he once made love and sang ''The Wheels on the Bus'' song. He said she would suck him dry like a juice box. He said he fed her his jizzum like baby food. He said he once left money under her pillow because she lost a tooth. He said she was so young that he had to check under her bed for monsters. He said there were no monsters though it was just the two of them.
Howard was singing as Elvis and making up songs about having sex with Priscilla. He said she found out that Santa wasn't real while they were together.
Howard was in his Elvis voice for quite a while. He said imagine the parents who let her go with Elvis. Robin said her parents didn't understand why he wanted to spend so much time with her.
Howard said it's so weird when people worship the guy. He said he sang but come on. He said he hates Elvis. He said he really does. Robin asked why. Howard said he fucked a 15 year old. He said he never got into Elvis. He said he never was into him. He said he was lost on him. Robin said Howard is a year younger than her and she was in love with him. She said he was her first crush. Howard said no. He asked if she ever went to his home for the tour. Robin said she never did and she doesn't need to do that. Howard went back into his Elvis voice for a few seconds.
Howard said Ronnie and Stephanie met with the Elvis impersonator who will be marrying them. He asked Ronnie about that. He said he is marrying a woman 30 years younger than him. He asked if that's why they're doing the Elvis thing. Ronnie said she is 33 years younger. Howard asked what the Elvis guy wanted. Ronnie said they had to talk about the ceremony. Howard asked what the conversation was about. Ronnie said about songs and stuff like that. Howard laughed.
Howard asked if he's going to sing after the vows and stuff. Ronnie said he sings as she's walking down the aisle and stuff. Howard said he will be doing 3 or 4 songs. He said he doesn't want to tell what they are.
Howard asked Ronnie if Stephanie walks down by herself. Ronnie said her father will be there. Howard said he has to go to this wedding. He said that her dad is going to walk her down the aisle while Elvis is singing. Ronnie said he is. Howard laughed.
Howard said her dad is younger than Ronnie. He said that they may think he should be walking her down. Ronnie said he won't do that. <>Howard asked what else they had to discuss with Elvis. Ronnie said they went to the Graceland Chapel to meet with the guy. He said he was in the middle of doing a wedding when they got there. He said they heard it but didn't watch it.
Howard asked Ronnie about what the guy was wearing. Ronnie said he had the full Elvis outfit on. He said he didn't have the cape but he was dressed like Elvis. Howard said wow. He asked what else they talked about. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said it was all on tape. He said he can't remember every detail. Howard said he thinks he's so hostile toward the wedding that he didn't enjoy it. Ronnie said he's not hostile. He said he's uptight about the whole ceremony thing. He said they were going to do it in the chapel but they changed that all around to do the whole thing. He said they're going to have everyone around to laugh about it. He said he doesn't want it to be traditional. Robin said that's not traditional at all.
Howard said he heard that Ronnie doesn't want to do the first dance thing. Ronnie said they're doing it. He said he wasn't crazy about the whole thing. Howard said just do it in a nice way. He said he should just go along with it because that's what Stephanie deserves. He said that his daughter's husband did a big dance thing for her. He said that meant a lot to her. Ronnie said he knows. He said it's all he hears about. He said he knows it's important.
Howard said try not to finger her at the wedding. He said don't stick your thumb up her ass or anything. Ronnie said thanks for the advice.
Howard asked how it became a thing that Elvis marries people. He said no one else does that. Ronnie said it's a big thing in Vegas. Howard asked why Elvis though. Ronnie said he has no idea. Howard said it's so random. He said he'd rather be married by a Beatles impersonator or someone like that. He said even Herman's Hermits. Ronnie said he doesn't love Elvis like he does. Howard said there are so many other better musicians he could be married by.
Howard had Gary and Jon Blitt come in. Gary said he thinks he has an answer. He said in 1947 they opened a chapel in Las Vegas and Elvis visited the place. He said the guy renamed it the Graceland Chapel when Elvis died. Howard said he still doesn't get it. He said it doesn't make sense to him.
Jon Blitt said he wants to spend a day with this guy. He said he has a lot of stories about people he has married. He said he's actually a really interesting guy. He said it was a great thing to watch. He said he can't wait for the wedding.
Howard said what's crazy is that Stephanie had to go out and buy Ronnie a note pad to write his vows on. Ronnie said she didn't have to do that. He said she asked him to write them down but they'll be too small to read. He said he won't take his glasses off to read them. Howard said he's going to write some half assed thing for her.
Fred did his Ronnie puppet thing and made up some vows for Stephanie. He had him reading vows about making Stephanie squirt and things like that.
Howard said he really doesn't get the Elvis thing. He said he'd rather have a Three Stooges impersonator. He said out of all the people he admires he wouldn't have anyone else. Ronnie said he can do whatever he wants. Howard said he'd rather have a Prince impersonator. Ronnie said whatever. Blitt said he's going to dress up as Jared from Subway for the wedding. He said he could have a bunch of pedophile impersonators there.
Howard said he has to figure out his morning. He said he has Demi coming in. He said he has Tan Mom on the phone. He said she's running for Senate. He said he has clips to play. He said he has a great phony phone call to play. He said he has a lot to do. He said he may take a breather. He said he'll just do Tan Mom here. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and talked about Van Halen for a short time. He said he's going to take a phone call and then get to Tan Mom. He said he may be able to squeeze in a few things.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who said his wife got him a massage for a birthday gift. He said it turned out to be a man who massaged him. He said he tried to be cool about it but it was uncomfortable. He said he wasn't homophobic about it. Howard said it's supposed to be relaxing so why go through with it. Mike said it was paid for and he's not homophobic. Howard said he's giving him a headache so he has to go. He said he's not getting a massage from a guy. He said that he's got nothing against homosexuals but he's not getting a massage from a man. He said his wife won't either.
Howard said he has a friend who was a masseuse and he said every woman he massaged he went knuckle deep into their assholes. He said all of these housewives wanted that. He said it was a consensual thing. He said Richard got a massage from a dude and he got a hand in his ass too. He said there's a sexual element to a massage. He said that's all he's saying. He said just being naked is vulnerable.
Richard came in and said that he did get his ass cheeks massaged by the guy. He said it was like he was karate chopping his bung hole. He said that it wasn't a sexual thing. He said he was just loosening up his ass. He said the funny thing is he went back to the same guy. He said that it was cheap. He said sometimes it was a woman and sometimes it was a guy. He said the guy was an older guy too.
Howard said he should have shit on his hand. Richard said he could have. Howard told Richard he can go now. He said he'd rather put his hand in a pool of vomit than in Richard's ass.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to do a thesis and he wondered if he should do it on Howard. Howard said that's some PhD. He said it must be the worst school ever if he can do a thesis on him. Howard said he's not allowed to do it on him. He said don't do it on him. The caller said it would be on the history of broadcasting. He said he wants to do it on Howard and his influence on history. Howard said don't do it. He let the guy go.
Howard said speaking of PhD's his daughter just got her's. He said she's a doctor now. He said he's very excited about that.
Howard said Ralph was so traumatized that day that he never worked another day in his life. He said on a somber note he'd like to thank the first responders who still have health problems to this day for going down there.
Howard said what a horror it was. He said he was on the air that day and they had so much anger. He said that anger still hasn't gone away. He said it was a nightmare attack. He said that they had such lax security. He said that it's the worst. He said he's sure that senatorial candidate Tan Mom would like to make a statement about this. He had her on the phone. Tan Mom said she wanted to be serious about this. She said she was in the hospital sick and her husband died of cancer. She said she has to talk about all of that.
Howard cut Tan Mom off and said he has some tape. He said that he'd like to ask for a statement on 9/11 but she wants to talk about this other stuff.
Howard said that Tan Mom is running for senate. He said that she talked to Chris Wilding when they were down there in Miami. He played a clip of Tan Mom talking about how she wants Trump back in office and she doesn't think there's any other option. Tan Mom didn't know Kamala Harris' name. She just called her ''that chick'' who talks too much.
Howard said she's much darker than Vice President Harris. He said she's calling her a colored lady and there's no one more colored than Tan Mom.
Howard said Tan Mom made the news when she announced she was going to run for senate. Howard played some clips of her talking about why she's running. She wasn't making any sense in the interviews.
Howard said they interviewed her too and Memet tried to get her views on Florida. Tan Mom said that she didn't know the answers at the time. Howard said wait until they play this. Howard played a clip of Memet asking her for her message to the Latino community and things like that. She didn't have any answers for those questions. She was for and against gun control when asked about that. Other things she just didn't know anything about.
Howard said that Adam Barta released a show about Tan Mom and no one has reviewed it yet. He said they forced JD to watch all 7 half hour episodes of it. He said JD said the show wasn't produced very well and didn't like it. He said that he also didn't like that she was being crow barred in with Adam's friends. Howard said Tan Mom was a bit out of it in the show. He played a clip of Tan Mom talking to Adam about a makeover or something.
Howard said this could hurt her candidacy. Tan Mom started to answer and then Adam Barta popped on. Howard said he didn't know he was on the phone. He said he wants to talk to Tan Mom.
JD said this show is god awful. He said he's not sure what's going on with it. He said it's badly edited. Adam said it is not. JD said it is. He said he tries to drop dramatic things in on the show. He said it's a whole fucking mess. Adam said it's a campy fun show.
Howard said he knows that Tan Mom wants to make a statement. Tan Mom said she wants to learn stuff and she's not planning on winning. Howard and JD laughed. Tan Mom said she cares a lot about a few things in her life. She said she has to talk about that. Howard said he has to get to Demi Lovato. Tan Mom asked who that is. Howard said she's very famous. He said that she has songs like ''Skyscraper'' and played some of that for her. Tan Mom didn't know the song. JD laughed. Howard said she really is out of it.
Howard said Tan Mom is for and against gun control. He said she's for people getting Medicaid too. He said he's pretty much in line with her. He said she's got his vote. Robin asked if she's for or against book banning. She said she's against it. Howard said she disagrees with DeSantis. She said she does. She said people call her a liberal conservative.
Howard asked if we should help Ukraine. Tan Mom said we should pull the troops out. Robin asked what troops. Tan Mom said she's sick of all of the wars.
Howard said she would be the first candidate with a metal plate in her head. Tan Mom said she also fell down a well.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Mitch McConnell. Howard had fake Mitch talk to her about this whole thing. Mitch locked up and wasn't able to speak.
Howard said he has to go to talk to Demi Lovato. He said she's got a very interesting story. He asked where they can press her flesh. Tan Mom said she'll let Memet know next week.
Howard said he has someone on the phone who claims to be Tan Mom. He took the call from a fake Tan Mom. He let the two of them go at it for a short time.
Howard said he thinks we should all participate in the American system. He said the fact that she stepped up makes him very proud of her. He said he loves her plan. He said if she was planning not to win is great. He said don't tell t he voters that. He said it could be a disaster.
Howard said he will have her back on at some point. He said tune in and listen to the Demi Lovato interview. He said she may learn something. Tan Mom said she feels really bad about the whole health care system. She said that she wants the world to be a happier place. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard said what a refreshing candidacy. He said she's being honest and forthright. Howard said he wants her in the senate.
Howard said he heard Demi warming up. He said she's got pipes. He said he wants to play Robin's version of Skyscraper. He said he wants her to hear that. He said Robin's is even better. Robin said this is the nightmare she wakes up to. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and asked Demi Lovato if she likes Adele. Demi said she loves her. Howard said it's great to have Demi there. He said she has her band there. He said they're going to get to them in a couple of minutes. He said it's an all female band. Robin said she saw that and she was like Wow! Demi said that's what she came up with when she decided to go out on tour again. She said she has an audition process and she had someone help her with putting them together.
Howard asked Constance about her guitar and spent some time talking about the Jackson she plays and about her audition. He asked her to play a little bit for him too.
Howard asked Brit about playing drums. He had her play a little bit for them. He said Leann plays bass. He talked to her for a short time as well.
Howard said Demi has 157 million followers on Instagram. He said it must be tough to have that responsibility. He said that has to be a lot of pressure. He said you have to share every moment of your life. Demi said TikTok is the tricky one. She said she's been on Instagram for years. She said with TikTok you get rewarded the more you post. She said with TikTok she's not sure what to post. She said she didn't grow up in this generation of Gen-Z. She said they just post stuff all the time. She said she doesn't have that mindset.
Howard said you have to be a reality star and that's not the job. Demi said she resented it in the beginning. She said it helps get the music out there though. She said you can hate it and resent it or you can just accept that it's part of the industry now. She said you might as well have a positive outlook on it.
Howard said it's insane to have that many followers. Demi said she sometimes forgets how many it is. Howard said that's the size of Russia. He said that's insane. He said it's real power. He said he used to have maybe 25 million people listening to him on radio but that's nothing compared to her numbers. He said it's nuts.
Howard said he looks at her life like it's a pressure cooker. He asked if she has to have someone with her producing material for her. She said she has some people who work with her to post clips of older stuff. She said she curates most of the other stuff herself.
Howard asked if she's afraid that she's going to say something wrong and get herself canceled. Demi said she's been doing it so long and she's been out there so long. She said she started doing this very young. Howard said she was on Barney at 10 or 11. He said she used to get called names when she was doing that show. He said he doesn't get that at all. He said he'd be impressed with kids who did something like that. Demi said she did get teased at school. She said it was maybe past the time when it was cool to be on Barney. She said that her mom said she was laughing all the way to the bank.
Howard asked if she knew the guy who played Barney. She said she did and she had a bit of a crush on him. She said he was good looking. She said the suit was heavy and he had to be muscular. He said he was ripped and he had a good looking face. Howard said what a great story that would have been if she had ran of with that guy.
Howard said Demi got on the Disney channel at 15. He said that had to be insanity. Demi said she was at an autograph signing with a friend and when she walked in someone screamed and she wondered what was going on. She said it was for her. She said she knew her life was going to be different at that point.
Howard said he sensed that her home life was hard. He said she didn't have her dad paying attention to her so she must have acted out for attention. He asked if that woman screaming for her was a turn on. Demi said it was. She said she had worked so hard for her music. She said she wanted to be the next Shirley Temple. She said it didn't turn out that way.
Howard asked if she could sing at an early age. Demi said she knew she had work to do so she took vocal lessons for years. She said that got her to a better place. She said she still takes vocal lessons to this day. Howard asked Demi about her 4 octave range and how that is. Demi said she didn't even know that. Howard asked if she can demonstrate how high she can go. She said it should be illegal to sing at this time of morning. She said she can't do it now. Howard said she was singing earlier and she sounded great. He said she was really belting it out.
Howard asked if she was named after Demi Moore. Demi said no. She said her mom thought she was going to be a boy and she had the baby and she didn't have a name for her. She said they threw a book of names at her at she saw Demitria and went with that.
Howard asked Demi about how she's opened up about drugs and fame and all of that. Howard asked if she still has secrets. Demi said that she thinks there will always be things she holds back. She said that they're not things she feels she needs to talk about. She said she has things that help people and some of those things she doesn't want to share.
Demi said she's an open book about drug abuse and eating disorders. She said that she has things she won't talk about though. Howard said he can't imagine what she's been through that she won't talk about. He asked if she's not comfortable talking about the guys who have taken from her. She said there are other things.
Howard said he used to talk about everything on the air but then he went to therapy and realized there are things maybe he shouldn't talk about. Demi said she feels the same way. She said you can do so much to help people but you have to help yourself first. She said she has to protect herself from over sharing.
Howard said people giving you advice can be the worst. He said that they can make you nuts.
Howard said it's weird but she looks like a young Demi Moore. He said she really does. Demi said she's been told that before. She thanked him for that.
Howard said her mom was a Dallas Cheerleader and she wanted a career in show business. He said Demi was the one who got that career. He asked if she feels guilty about that. Demi said that she doesn't feel that way. She said her mom decided to have kids instead of going after that career. She said that her mom was on track to do big things and she was opening for some big acts so she got a taste of that career. She said she is her biggest supporter now. She said she doesn't feel guilt about that at all.
Howard asked Demi about her father. She said they left him because he was abusive to her mom. She said she was very young and she remembers seeing it. She said they got away from him and at the same time it felt like he had abandoned them. Howard said that's something you can't wrap your head around. He said she's a good kid and her dad didn't want to know her. Demi said that he chose that over his family. She said that she was in pain herself and she was drinking and using drugs. She said she started drinking at 12. She said then she was in an accident and started taking Vikodin. She said she was popping them like candy. She said her mom took those away from her.
Howard said he doesn't get the Vikodin thing. He said he never got into that. He said he thinks that she wanted to share what her dad was into too. Demi said that he had already moved out of state. She said that she knew he wasn't coming back. She said she just wanted to understand him. She said he had schizophrenia too so he was sick. She said she wasn't able to have a conversation with him without his delusions.
Howard asked how old she was when her father got kicked out. She said he moved when she was about 8. She said she stopped talking to him around 14. Howard asked what happened when she was a big star on Disney. She said he would always call. She said he wasn't avoiding her completely. She said that he would do interviews about her and you could see how unwell he was. She said she avoided his calls because she didn't want to deal with it. She said it was very cringy for her dad to do those interviews with news outlets. She said that he didn't know her that well.
Howard said he looked into that relationship and he found out that he was messing with her by saying he had cancer and things to get her attention. He said that's upsetting too.
Howard asked Demi if she ever threw herself at men because she wanted a man in her life since her dad wasn't around. Demi said she may have done that. She said that she's in a great relationship now. She said they met in the studio and he's an artist and a song writer. She said she was immediately attracted to him. She said she texted her friends and told them about it. She said she has the best personality. She said his name is Jordan Lutes, AKA Jute$.
Howard asked if she thinks she'll marry this guy. Demi said yes. She said they have talked about it. She said they've been going out for about a year and a half or so. She said they're taking their time.
Howard asked Demi about being pan sexual and if she's had people reject her before. She said she has had women reject her. She said that she has women who just want to hook up with her for a night or something. She said she can be hurt by that. She said that's painful if you like someone a lot. Howard said he'd like to know who has done that to her.
Howard asked what's so great about this Jordan. Demi said that they started out as friends. She said they have this partnership that's so magnetic. She said the way they laugh together is non stop. She said if you can find that then you're probably in a good relationship.
Howard said for months it was a friendship. He asked how it occurs that they become lovers. Demi said they were texting one night and someone said something flirty and it turned into something more where they realized they were attracted to each other. She said she felt like they were in the friend zone. Howard said he loves romance. He said it's great when it works out.
Howard said Demi almost died and he saw the video of her people and he thought that she was finally getting the loving she was looking for when she was a kid. He said she got that from the people who are so devoted to her. He said his mother had no mother growing up and it was tough for her. Demi said her daddy issues were rooted inside of her. She said that made her look toward drugs. She said she has a small circle of people she trusts now.
Howard asked if she's going to lay her daddy issues on Jute$. Demi said she had relationships with older guys in the past and they were maybe more than 10 years older than her. She said she thinks that's gross now that she thinks about it. She said she was a teenager at the time. She said that it's not so gross when you get older but when you're a teen that's not what you should be doing. She said it's unhealthy and toxic.
Howard asked how serious this relationship is with Jute$. Demi said they think about what it would be like to be married and have kids. Howard said that sounds serious. Demi said that everyone loves Jute$.
Howard said he thinks the road is harder for women because they're more mature. He said that you're away from family and friends and you're not looking to have sex on the road. Demi said the road for her has been lonely. She said that it's not something she indulges in substances in. She said she hates how she sounds when she's on something. She said she has performed high at an awards show and she sounded awful. Howard asked if she was high when she forgot the lyrics that time. Demi said she just forgets them. She said she has a prompter for her shows. She said she has a lot of material to remember now so she has to do that. She said when she was high she was functioning but her voice was strained. Howard said he's never had problems with substance abuses. He said the one fear is that if he had that voice he'd worry about losing that gift. He asked Demi if she thinks about it that way. Demi said she was choosing them over everything in her life so that's the way she used. She said it was blocking out anything else. She said it blocks every feeling you have so that all goes away. She said that all stems from work she hadn't done with her therapist. Howard said it's a shame that she's not a narcissist. He said he can block out everything. He said he can make himself the only one that matters. He said that was his problem when he went into therapy. He said he can block everyone and make them all meaningless to him. Demi said she can't do that.
Howard said he watched that documentary about her and she had such a bad overdose that she lost her vision. He said that would freak him out. He said losing his vision would sober him up so quick. He said he wouldn't care. Demi said she still has vision problems. She said she can't drive to this day because of that overdose. She said it repaired a lot in the first 3 months but then she had residual things. She said she can't see Howard's nose or mouth looking at his eyes. Howard said that's a good thing in his case. She said it was due to the lack of oxygen to her brain.
Howard asked if she ever asks herself why she did it and if she's angry. Demi said she has sympathy for the state of mind she was in at the time. She said she has worked through it. She said people ask her if she has regrets in her life. She said she has impairments with vision and hearing. She said she can't live in the past. She said she tries to remain positive.
Howard said Demi and Elton John are friends. Demi said she's not friends but he has supported her career. She said they went to dinner once. She said she did an appearance on a show that honored him. She said afterwards they went to dinner. She said it was great. Howard said he seems like such a good guy. Demi said he was right about the drug thing in her documentary. She said she had to learn that even a little bit won't do it. She said that you have to stop completely. Howard said every habit is like that. He said she's stopped everything at this point. Demi said she has. She said she didn't stop everything because of Elton. She said she had to learn herself.
Demi said she was smoking so much weed and taking edibles. She said it was an unhealthy level. She said she was dabbing from the time she woke up. She said it threw her into a deep depression and she put on a bunch of weight. She said she was hiding in her room because she didn't want people to see her. She said she had this profound sadness in her life. She said she was in a deep depression and she feels so much better laughing now than she did when she would laugh when she was high. She said she had to go back into treatment in November 2021 and now abstinence is the way for her.
Howard asked if she wakes up wishing she could use every day. Demi said she did a red carpet interview and she said that every day was a struggle. She said she learned that's not the way it should be. She said it's been almost 2 years since she used now and she's not struggling anymore. She said she's choosing to do that now. She said that she doesn't wake up struggling now.
Howard said the guy who ran the help center was great. He said that he was a big help for her. Demi said he guided her to finding her own voice. She said she had to want it. She said it's hard to get sober if you don't.
Howard asked if she had a lot of people reach out to her about this. Demi said not a lot of people reached out to her before she overdosed. She said that she had a lot after. She said she had a lot of people show up for her after that.
Howard said he found that she was influenced by the Spice Girls. He said he can see that. Demi said she thinks that was her first cassette tape. Howard asked what her first concert was. Demi said it was a Santana concert. She said that was a lot of fun.
Howard went through some of Demi's other influences like Aretha Franklin. Demi said she ran up to her and got a photo taken with her. She said she wanted to get in contact with her and they got on the phone can talked one time. She said that she was supposed to have tea with her in Detroit but she was too sick at the time so she didn't get to do that. She said getting to know some of these people has been great. She said she got to meet Kelly Clarkson and Christina Aguilera. She said those have been some of the highlights in her life.
Howard went through some of the other influences in Demi's career. Howard asked if it's hard to tone it down for her when she sings. Demi said she can tone it down.
Howard asked if she gets chills when she hits the right note or the right moment. Demi said she's never given herself the chills. She said she has hit high notes and freaked herself out. She said that there are notes she's hit that she didn't know she could hit. She said she hit that note in the song ''Confident.'' Howard played the song to get to the part she was talking about. He had to fast forward to the end of the song to hear it.
Howard asked what she plays. Demi said she plays piano and guitar. She said she knows her instrument is her voice. He said she wants to be great at that.
Howard asked the band about playing an instrument and if he has to do a lot of hard work to get to being a good player. They said that it does take a lot of work. Howard said that's why he went into radio.
Howard said he likes that she was able to cut off her hair. He said it's kind of liberating especially for a woman. Demi said she hid behind her hair. She said she did the documentary and she had all of this stuff stored in her hair so she cut it all off. She said it felt so liberating. She said she buzzed her head a couple of years later and it felt really good.
Howard asked if she has an alternate reality in her head. Demi said that she does think about what it would be like not to be famous. She said once you're famous you're always famous though. She said that you can't go back.
Howard said they're there today to celebrate the new album ''REVAMPED''. He said she turned some of her favorite songs into rock and roll versions. He said that she was known as a pop artist and she wanted to make some rock songs. Demi said she got into rock music at 13, 14, 15 or so. She said she was into a bunch of emo bands and then got into more metal music. She said she started making pop rock music. Howard asked if it was weird to do pop after that. She said it did feel restricted to her. She said she was good at it though so she stuck to it.
Howard said Alanis Morissette was a kid star and she was able to do what she did. Demi said she did a rock album and she went on tour and she wanted her pop songs to match what she was doing so she decided to record and re-release them. She said it's kind of a greatest hits album but not really.
Howard asked if she knows Miley Cyrus. Demi said she does know her from being on Disney with her. Howard said he figures she'd be a good friend for her. He said that she came in and did a song with Metallica in there. He said it's hard to change that image. He said it's kind of a risk to do rock after being a pop star. Demi said it is. She said she was inspired by her friend's band Dead Sarah and she saw them perform live and she wanted to go back to her rock roots so that's what she did.
Howard said lets put the band to work and evaluate them now. Howard said they're going to work on some of the new songs. He said they're going to do ''Heart Attack'' first. Howard said he saw that she worked with Slash on her new album. Demi said she did. She said that she wanted him to be a part of this album so she texted him and asked him to do it. Howard asked how she knew him to get to text him. Demi said her mom was friends with his ex-wife years ago and she has met him through other music industry people. Howard played some of the solo Slash did on ''Sorry Not Sorry.'' Demi said it was so exciting to get that. She said he recorded it on the road in Norway.
Howard said the band is going to do the song. Demi said this song has been a part of her catalog for maybe 12 years or something like that. Howard said she found this song and didn't write it. She said she changed some of the lyrics so she changed it a little bit. She said she liked the song because it was a catchy pop song. Howard had the band perform the song ''Heart Attack.''
After the song Howard said he likes that. He said the band has such a great look. He asked why the all female band. Demi said that inclusion is important and she wanted to do it herself.
Howard said Brit did a beautiful job on drums. He said the floor was shaking. Brit said she has had people tell her she can't hit as hard as a guy. Howard said Kid Rock had a great drummer who was a woman. He said she was something. He said it was exciting to see that. Brit said it's great to see more of that out there now.
Howard asked Leann about the bass and who her influences were. Howard said she did a nice job too. Howard asked Constance if she had that whole thing about being a woman too. She said she has but it was more about her possibly being a distraction. Howard said that sucks. He said that Demi isn't worried about that. Demi said she has a hot band. She said she thinks that's dope.
Howard asked Demi what she thinks about extraterrestrial life. He said he heard that she's into that stuff. He said he doesn't believe any of that stuff. Demi said that she finds it hard to believe that we're the only ones in the universe. Howard asked if she thinks the government is hiding stuff from us. Demi said she does. She said she thinks there are UFOs out there and she has seen them. She said she has seen many. Howard asked what she saw and where was she. Demi said on her birthday she meditates and she has seen things. She said she meditates just to get to the right frequency to see UFOs. She said within 10 minutes of doing this they saw this orb of light. She said everyone saw it. She said there have been other occasions where a light will appear. She said it has a lot to do with mountains with her for some reason.
Howard asked why they're hiding from us if here are aliens. Demi said maybe they're waiting for humanity to come to grips with it.
Howard said Demi did a show for Peacock called Unidentified. He asked why they anally probe human beings. Demi said she's not sure that's a real thing. Howard said it is. He said he's been probed.
Howard said they're going to do another song with the band. He said this one is ''Cool for the Summer.'' Howard said this is about same sex desire. He said Demi is very open about her sexuality. Howard said he thinks this country has gone berserk and just love whoever you want to love. He said that he doesn't care if a woman wants to love another woman or a man wants a man. He said it's fine. He said they seem to be trying to turn the clocks back. He said they're talking about gay marriage being off the table because of the supreme court we have now.
Howard asked if this song is about Demi falling for another woman. Demi said she has had hook ups with other women and she did think about that when she wrote this song. She said that she didn't come out as bi-sexual until she was 24 or 25. She said she was afraid to tell her parents about it. She said they weren't against it or anything but she was nervous about it. She said she was coming from a Christian household. She said that her dad knew what this song was about. She said she told her dad about this on a flight to a concert. She said he knew already because of the song. He had heard it. She said her mom just wanted her to be happy too so she was fine with it too. Howard asked if guys came on to her more after she came out. She said that didn't happen to her. Howard said he's glad that didn't happen.
Howard had the band play the song ''Cool for the Summer'' which is the REVAMPED version.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. He said they're hitting those notes early in the morning. He said if you see this on the app they have to see how good they look. Howard said it's a good looking band. He said it's fun to watch. He said some bands are boring to watch. He said they're really good.
Howard asked if Demi went to the woman who she wrote the song about. Demi said she was in a relationship with a man at the time and she was thinking about this woman. She said that relationship didn't last. Howard asked if she told the woman she wrote this song about. She said she did not. She said sometimes she writes songs and just leaves them be. Howard said he feels bad for her. Howard asked if she's famous. Demi said she is. She said it might be inappropriate to tell her now that she's in a relationship.
Howard asked if she would tell that story to anyone. Demi said not at all. She said this was not a public relationship. Howard asked if she was petrified that it would get out. Demi said not at all. She said they would go to a party and make out. She said no one really paid any attention to it. Howard said she's awesome.
Howard said he was single for a short time. He said he was with some famous people and he was shocked he had them in his bed. He said it was crazy. He said he was into the whole thing but it was incredible. Demi said she's had that. Howard said he might have to get the story out of her at some point. Demi said she's a vault. Howard said he'll stop trying.
Howard said they were both judges on TV. He said she was on X-Factor and he was on America's Got Talent. Howard asked if she liked it. Demi said it was a lot of work. She said it was hard because she was touring at the same time. She said they worked around her schedule but it was a lot of work. Howard said that's how he felt. He said he would walk off the set at times because it was too much. Demi said she was mentoring the contestants too so that was even more work. She said she'd get sad when they got sent home. She said she took it really personal.
Howard said Demi will be performing at the Video Music Awards this year. He asked what song they're doing. Demi said it's a medley of a few songs. Howard said it'll be a whole thing. He said they should do alright.
Howard said Demi also did The Masked Singer. He asked if they guessed her right away. She said that they did not. She said she had a lot of fun doing the show. She said she was in a mouse costume. She said she thought she might get claustrophobic but she didn't.
Howard asked what her favorite song is to cover. She said she did ''Iris'' by Goo Goo Dolls and that was fun. Howard said he told those guys that's not a good name for a band.
Howard said he should play Robin's cover of her song. Robin said she wants to be able to sing like she can sing but she doesn't have it. She said it's a nightmare. Robin said she gets caught singing songs. Howard played Robin singing and Demi said that's beautiful. Robin said she wanted to give it all of the emotion she could. Demi said she nailed it. She said she sounded like she was going to cry.
Howard said they nailed it today. He said it was a lot of fun. He asked if they're going to name the band. Demi said she thinks she's just Demi Lovato. Howard said how about Lovato. He said that would work.
Howard wrapped up and thanked the band for coming in. He ended the show around 10:50am
Robin told a story about a player who was injured at a job and now he's working construction or something.
Howard said of course Aaron Rodgers is injured. He said it's not surprising that he's out. He said he's glad he's getting paid. He said he may have just ended his career. He said he doesn't really care about the Jets. He said he'd like to see them or the Giants win. He said he likes the New York teams. He said Gary was filling him in on all of this information.
Gary told Howard about how they did what they said they should do and went out and spent a ton of money on good players. Howard said the average NFL career is 3.4 years. He said Tom Brady is a freak that he got through it the way he did.
Gary said the excitement was off the hook for the game last night. He said this couldn't have happened faster. He said he led the charge like he was going into battle. He said he came onto the field and it was over before you knew it. He said you couldn't believe it.
Howard said they put the guy in a situation where the guy got hit by a car. He said it's the dumbest fucking game. He said it's barbaric. He said he enjoys watching it too but it's barbaric.
Howard said thank god football players are dumb as rocks. Gary said they changed the rules to protect the quarterback and it still happens. He said Aaron Rodgers was supposed to be playing in a position where you're not supposed to get hurt. Howard said you're going to get hurt even if you think you won't.
Robin said he's 39 years old and at 22 it may not have been a big deal. She said after years of wear and tear things break. Howard said sorry to Gary. He said sorry to all of us.
Howard and Gary talked more about the Jets and how they could do after this. Gary said he's hoping that Aaron can be a bit of a coach for Zach and help them out.
Howard said Aaron is going to get $75 million and he won't have to play. He said he's probably thrilled. He said he has to get the doctor who said Trump is 6'5'' and 215 pounds. He said he needs someone like that.
Howard said he feels bad for that Zach guy. He said he's the backup guy and now he has all the pressure on him. He said that these guys are some of the greatest athletes on the planet and they end up like this.
Howard took a call from a guy, Jack Mewhort, who said he played in the NFL for four years. He said that you do get a lot of injuries but they do take care of you. Howard said he has friends who were in the NFL and they have to get regular jobs after playing.
Jack said that he's selling title insurance now. He said that it's not the case that you make a lot in the league. He said that you have to go out and pick up the pieces after you play. He said there is life after you turn the page. He said it's a strange feeling.
Howard asked Jack if he was shocked that he got out and didn't have the support. Jack said he knew that he'd end up selling title insurance. He said that he graduated from a good school. He said he got a master's degree that was paid for by the NFL. He said he knew he had to do something after the game.
Robin said the guy she was talking about earlier is Mike Williams. She said he got injured on a construction job and he was on life support for a while. She said he's off of that and responsive now.
Howard said if Jack had been pushed into tennis or golf he might still be playing. He said he beat the odds by playing 4 seasons. Jack said he feels like he over achieved. He said he wanted to play in the league all his life. He said he could have played something else if he had better hand eye coordination. He said you still have to put one foot after another after the fact. He said he's not complaining. He said he had a great head start. He said it's a strange feeling to go sell insurance now.
Howard asked Jack if he got really angry after football. Jack said it's kind of like Howard talking about doing his movie and getting treated really well. He said you get chewed up and spit out. He said you do get bitter but you have to beat that ego side of it and move on. He said he's not Aaron Rodgers. He said he lucked out and got to do this thing for a little while. He said he didn't get into coaching or anything. He said he's doing some stuff around football now but it took a while for him to get over it not ending on his terms. He said that bitterness is there and it rears its head once in a while.
Howard said when he was on the movie set he felt so coddled. He said he was treated so well and he got whatever he wanted. He said he had an apartment at the set so he could be there longer. He said he got really depressed after it was over. He said he had to go home and be a regular guy.
Jack said that's how he felt. He said the rug gets pulled out from under you and it's a tough pill to swallow. Robin asked if he gets recognized at all. Jack said he lives in his home town so he may get a little bit more of that there. He said he played in a big school there. He said he may get it more than he should. He said he wore a helmet. He said people see his last name and recognize it.
Howard said with his radio career he got to have a 45 year career. He said it's still not enough for him. He said Jack got the dream to the big radio station so to speak. He said 3 years in it's ripped out from you. He said that's brutal. He said he'd have a hard time dealing with that. He said it would be like if the FCC had won and he got that ripped away from him.
Jack said that it does kill you sometime. He said that he has to deal with it. He said he did get to do it for a little while. He said he tries to spin it for himself. He said that he wouldn't change anything about it. He said you have to deal with it. He said he's an anomaly and he got to play for 4 years. He said everything has to go right for you to play as long as someone like Aaron Rodgers.
Howard said his brothers in law played in college and they didn't get to go pro. He said they got to go work for great companies and all. He said they were elite athletes at one point. He said he wonders if that bothers them but they don't really give a shit.
Jack said you realize that playing the game you don't have expertise on the other side. He said you don't have that so that's why he went back and got his master's degree.
Howard said he has bad news. He said Jack's boss is on the phone. He took the call from the fake boss and that guy told Jack to get back to work and get off his 10 minute break. He said that if Howard isn't buying title insurance then get back to work. Howard said he'd finish up with Jack.
Jack said that's almost how it really is. He said he has to get out there and sell insurance. He said that it's more like that than you'd think. Howard asked if he needs an owners and a lender's insurance. Jack said absolutely.
Howard said Jack is one of the smart ones who went back and got his MBA. He said it was great to talk to him. Robin said this is like the Rambo argument. She said he comes home and people are spitting at him after going over to fight with millions of dollars of equipment. Howard let Jack go a short time later. He said he played in the NFL for 4 years for the Colts.
Howard said he could have talked to that guy for hours. He said that's very cool.
Howard said he's remembering Bobo and his family on 9/12. He said his family had a death on 9/12.
Howard said that OJ Simpson has been talking about 9/11. He said that he was on X talking about that yesterday. He played a clip of OJ talking about 9/11 and how memorable it is for him. Howard said he'd think he has another day that should be more memorable than that. He played more of the clip and OJ was saying that this country is the greatest no matter what some people say.
Howard said this country really is the greatest for OJ. He said he killed two people and now he's out playing golf and talking about how great this country is. He said OJ is very cryptic when he talks. He asked if he's talking about Trump when he's saying this country is great. Howard said this country really is great for him because he got off a double murder charge. He went into his OJ impression and spent a little time talking about the murders.
Howard said OJ should just shut the fuck up. He played more of the clip of OJ talking about 9/11. He'd pause the clip and do more of his OJ voice making up wild theories about the whole thing.
Howard said shut the fuck up. He said you got away. He said just move to another country and disappear. He said stop rubbing it in our face. Robin said we don't need reminders that he's around.
Howard said OJ has a nickname for Mahomes. He played that clip and OJ was talking about being ''OJ Mahomey.'' He said he gets it now. He said it's like My-Homeie.
Howard said there were reports this summer that OJ had to have emergency heart surgery. He said it was a rumor but he denied it on his Twitter. He played a clip of OJ talking about that. He said he sounds like he has a bag of dicks in his mouth. He said he has never heard a guy talk like that. Robin said he's trying to overcome a lot of bad grammar and things. She said it's not an impediment. She said it's a lifelong struggle.
Howard played more of the clip and OJ denied having a heart attack. He said people were wishing him well but he didn't have one. He was cracking himself up talking about all of that.
Howard said the guy is always talking about his friends and golf buddies but no one else is ever around. He said they must run when he pulls out his phone. Howard said maybe you don't want to be on with him.
Howard said that he has a sense of achievement. He said karma doesn't exist if this guy is out there having a better life than you. He said that he may get the night sweats or something but we don't know. He said there is no karma. Robin said she never thought there was.
Howard said OJ continues to post about his day to day life. He said Aaron Rodgers gets inured but not OJ. He played a song parody about OJ to the tune of ''Don't Worry, Be Happy.''
Howard said he doesn't want to talk about him all morning but it's just too much. He said he was thinking about spending time with him at Trump's wedding. He said he was making out with Tawny Kitaen in front of him. He said he was talking to Tawny and asked if OJ knew her and he came out and made out with her. He said they had apparently come together. He said he's not sure why he was consumed with Ron and Nicole. Robin said he's a narcissist and he wanted everything to go his way.
Howard said he's not sure he'd be so open about something like that. Robin said it was front page news so you can't hide that.
Howard took a call from a woman, Linda, who said she has been married to the same man for over 20 years and he'd perfect in every way except for being a few years older than her. She said he can't get an erection. She said she needs some advice. She said she's monogamous but she's not sure what to do. Howard said it's a miracle in his life that he has no problem with his erection. Robin said he's always been active and eaten well. She said that a lot of problems come from circulation. She said that if you have plaque in every blood vessel you have it's going to affect that.
Howard said he has had changes in his life. He said he has to be careful. He said if he jerked off the day before Beth wants to do something there may be a problem. He said he jerked off twice the other day. He said he came the first time and then tried again. He said he got something out of him. He said he was impressed with himself. Robin said it had to be dust. Howard said something came out.
Howard said maybe it's Linda. He asked what she weighs. She said she's about 160. Howard asked how tall she is. She said she's 5'10'' tall. Howard said she must have a belly on her. She said she has a little bit. She said she's still attractive. She said that she doesn't think he's cheating. She said that he has something physical going on. She said Viagra doesn't help either.
Howard said it can be one of many things. He said it could be that he's not attracted to her. He said it could be that he has something physical going on. Linda said that he has some vascular things going on. She said she misses it so much. She said she's 50-ish so she's not that old. She said she's 52. Robin asked if he's wiling to fool around with her. Linda said he does that. She said she feels like he isn't having fun so that takes the fun out of it for her. she said they have toys and they can do stuff with that.
Howard said she needs to get him to a doctor. She said he is. Howard said she needs a little bit of a treadmill in her life. He said best of luck to her. He said he hopes it works out.
Howard said he started zoning out when she said 160. Robin said not everyone is married to a Beth. Howard said absolutely. He said he would have been a terrible doctor. He said he'd only deal with people who weigh 110. He said you have to wonder what's going on with the guy. He said he needs a doctor.
Howard said he wrote this song about Metamucil. He played some of the song to remind people what it was. He said everyone was moved by the song. He said it took the world by storm.
Howard said one of the greatest singers of all time was sitting at home listening to this. He said Adam Duritz heard this. He said this is the guy who wrote ''Mr. Jones'' and so many others. He played a bunch of quick clips that the Counting Crows did.
Howard said Adam was sitting home and thought about what a great love song it was. He said Adam wanted to do a cover of the song. Robin asked if he called to do a cover. Howard said that's what you do when you're a mench. He said that he has a recording of Adam doing a cover of the song. He said he can hold off and play it after the commercial or play it now. He said that Adam turned it into a serious song. He said he's going to hold off and play it after the break. He said he knows he'll have a hit with it.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break before getting to the song.
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Howard came back and said he'd like to enjoy this song but his balls are soaking wet. He said he pees sitting down there in his bathroom because he doesn't have a urinal there. He said his penis doesn't go past his balls so it's like a waterfall of urine. He said it goes over his balls. He said if he was at the studio he'd have people to clean up his pee but he sits so he doesn't make a mess there.
Howard took a call from a woman who said 5 years ago they were requiring the Real ID thing. She said she applied to get her birth certificate and she found out that who she thought were her parents were actually her grandparents. She said the woman she thought was her sister was her mother. Howard said that's hard. He said that he prayed that he'd find out something like that himself. Robin said she knew for sure that her parents didn't pick up the right baby.
Howard asked the caller, Kate, if she asked why they did that to her. Kate said that her grandfather told her that he died during her birthday party when she turned 18. She said her grandmother died before she found out. She said it was like a month before she found out.
Howard said even with all of that her ''sister'' wasn't even in touch with her. Kate said there's a whole mess of shit going on. She said that would take way longer than the show. Howard asked if she asked her ''sister'' mother what she did. Kate said that she did find out that she was going to give her to another family.
Howard asked if she's angry about all of this. Kate said there's a lot going on there. Howard asked if her dad is around. Kate said she found out that he is still around. She said that she got in touch with him and he called and they had a great conversation for about 90 minutes. He wanted to have a relationship with her. She said she thought she had no dad but she does. She said he knew about the family story too.
Kate said that her aunt told him what was going on with the whole thing. Howard said it's amazing that dudes go along with this stuff. He said that's his daughter. Kate said that's where they get to where they're at now. She said that her father asked to have a relationship and he never called her back. She said she called the number she had an sent letters to the address she had. She said that she hasn't heard a thing back.
Howard said this is bullshit advice but he's thinking it's all a nightmare. He said that her father walked away from her so maybe just walk away. He said go into therapy and talk about this. He said that she has to sort it all out. Robin said you're not stuck with those people. She said you can have other people in your life.
Kate said she just wants him to admit to her what he did. Howard said it's not worth it. He said just listen to the Howard Stern Show and that will help her get through this. Howard asked if Kate is hot. She said for 50 she thinks she is. She said she used to work in a strip club. Howard said nice. He asked if it was full nude. Kate said it was. Howard said he's never heard a story about parents abandoning someone and the person becoming a stripper.
Howard asked if she ever hooked up in the back room with customers. Kate said no but she did have some DJs. Howard said you've heard it here first, a stripper with daddy issues. Kate said that's right. She said she had an opiate addiction for years too.
Howard asked if Kate maintained her hotness. Kate said hell yes she did. She said she's 5'7'' and 130 pounds. Howard asked if she has nice tits. Kate said yes.
Robin asked when she left the strip club. Kate said she was in her 20s at the time. She said she was done with that around 30. She said that she went into sales. Howard asked if she told her dad that she used to do that. He said that might get him back. Kate said she did grow up in an abusive household. She said they didn't want her but they wouldn't let anyone else take her.
Howard asked Kate if she was completely shaved at the club. Kate said she was. Howard asked if she came out nude immediately. Kate said some did and some wore something. She said she would come out with a g-string and nothing on top. Howard said that's what he would do too.
Howard said he has to go but that's a terrible story. He said it sounds like she's on the road to recovery. Kate said she had the life she wanted until about 4 and a half years ago. Robin said it doesn't mean that they're the only people who can love you. She said that there are other people out there for her.
Howard asked if Kate got addicted back when she was at the club. Kate said it came after that actually. Robins said she was a sober stripper. Howard let her go after that.
Howard asked if this is about the guy or the cheating. Zach said he got about half the story and he had to put together the rest. He said they end up arguing when they talk about it. He said it's easier to leave it alone. He said he works in the oil fields and he tries to leave it alone. Howard said there's nothing worse than being a hard working man and having this going on. He said it hurts. Zach said he'd like to get past it. He said she's been his love since high school. He said she acts like it's not a big deal. Howard asked if they still have sex. Zach said of course. Howard said maybe if he had brought the girl into his life maybe that would have worked out better.
Howard said this is a serious answer. He said he would go to a marriage therapist. He said he has a lot to sort out. He said he can't keep going off to work and worrying about this. He said she has to march in there with him and get it all out. Zach said the therapy thing got shut down real quick. He said that she said she's not doing this anymore.
Howard asked if Zach can live with it and deal with it. Zach said no. Howard said you know what's going to happen. He said he has to get away from her. He said he's not in his shoes but he knows what he has to do.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked what kind of black guy this is. Zach said he's just a skinny young black dude. King asked what type he is. Robin said no one knows what King is talking about. Zach said he's never met the guy so he really doesn't know what type he is. Howard said King isn't helping here. He said he's just a dude.
King told him to listen to him. He said if he's the east Village type he has a chance of getting her back. He said if he's a regular N-word type then he won't get her back. He said that's awful to hear but it's true. Howard said he has no idea what King is even talking about.
Howard took a call from Ralph who told Zach to get away from her now. He said it's no big deal to her to bang other people so she's going to keep hurting him. Howard said he'd be out of there real quick if something like that happened to him.
Howard said he knows some dudes who can't get a girl and they stick with the one they can get. Ralph said this guy is going to work and you know she's fucking someone right now. Howard said when he was younger he was hanging with a girl and he found out she was with other guys. He said he asked to be in the rotation. He said he was desperate. He asked why he can't be involved too. He just didn't want to be dumped.
Robin asked if this has been going on the whole time. Ralph said he's sure it has been the whole time. Howard asked if Zach can get laid. Zach said he thinks he could no problem. Howard said he thinks he has to talk to someone professional. He said he's been in that position and he can't put up with the bullshit too long. He let Zach go a short time later.
After the song Howard asked how beautiful that is. Robin gave it a ''Wow!'' Howard said he feels like Prince and Sinead O'Connor. He said that he's honored but also hurt that he can't do a good job like that. He said the guy sings like an angel. He said he's honored that he did this. Robin said he sang it out too. She said he didn't try to hide any of the words. Howard said he feels like Adam may be on Metamucil too. Robin said she was wondering about that herself. Howard said not everyone is anxious to admit it like he is.
Howard said Adam took his version and made it into that. He played his own version again. He said he really did make it his own.
Howard let the three in there. They were all talking over each other. Howard asked them to calm down. He asked each of them to make statements. Each fake Trump talked about the news Trump was making this summer.
Two of the Trumps were doing good impressions but one didn't sound much like Trump at all. Howard went through stories about Trump with each of them. They talked about the mug shot being sold to raise money for Trump's legal defense fund and things like that. The Trumps were all taking turns joking about all of this stuff.
Howard asked the fake Trumps how they're going to handle court and all of that. They all took turns going over that stuff.
Howard asked the Trumps about Mitch McConnell locking up. They all had something to say about that. Howard had them comment on Chris Christie. They were all talking over each other about that. They made lame Trump-like jokes about how fat Chris is.
Howard asked the three Trumps what they were doing. They were forming a human centipede like Trump train to feed each other. Howard said they're feeding right now. He said he thinks they're eating McDonald's. He closed the door on them a short time later.
Howard said there you go. He said that answered their questions about what went on this summer.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he heard Gary talking about some things that Howard does like carrying an Epipen with him all the time. Gary said someone called and asked about it and they talked about it on the air. Howard said he carries the Epipen for Beth. Gary said that's what he said. Howard said he carries it because his wife stepped on a bee 2 summers ago and she had an allergic reaction. He said it was a mess. He said the doctor told her to carry the Epipen herself but she won't do it so he has to carry it for her.
Howard said the fucking Epipen is a pain in the ass. He said that he has to leave it in a place where he won't forget it. He said some days he has it in his pocket. He said he will leave it in there and then he has to remember to put it back where he'll remember it. He said it takes up his whole life. He said even the name of it annoys it. He said he tells his wife that he has it with him. He said that makes her nuts that he has it in his pocket. He said it makes her crazy.
Howard said he gets kooky. He said he calls Dr. Agus about anything. He said that Beth doesn't care. He said she wont get upset about anything. He said he's constantly on the phone to Dr. Agus.
Howard said speaking of Trump he should play this. He said they had tier Rosie O'Donnell impersonator call a phone sex operator and had her role play Trump's arrest. He said he thought this was kind of fun. He played the clip where they had fake Rosie asking the operator role play with her about the Trump thing. The phone sex operator went along with that and she played a news anchor reading about Trump's arrest. Fake Rosie was getting off on her reading the news. They went through the phone sex thing and Rosie thanked the woman for doing that for her.
Robin said she has to hand it to that operator. She said she had her own take on things and she took Rosie's suggestions and embellished them. She said she was worried that she would fall flat.
Howard asked Jon Hein what he's hearing. Jon said there's not much news. He said the charging cable is changing to USB-C and that's one thing. He said there's also a periscope lens that might be coming. He said he's with Howard on this. He said it's not that exciting. Jon said he'll get the new phone anyway. He said you want the latest and greatest.
Howard said he has a friend who doesn't have an iPhone and he can't video chat with him. He said he wants him to just get one. He said he says he doesn't buy into their culture and all. He said it's like fuck you and just get one. He said the video chat alone is worth it.
Howard said it says here that the phone may get a titanium chassis. He said it may reduce weight by 10 percent. He said everyone carries a phone in a case so who cares about who it looks. Jon said he doesn't use a case. He said he doesn't drop it. He said the titanium thing works for him. He said he hates putting a case on it. He said he also uses the magnetic charge on the back. Jon said he loves the way the phone looks so he's not going to put anything on his.
Howard said Jon is the kind of guy who doesn't put anything on his burgers. Jon said he has started to change. He said he's putting pickles and onions on his McDonald's burgers. Howard said pickles are the worst. He said he doesn't get that at all. He said he gets ketchup. Jon said never ketchup.
Howard said Jon lost quite a bit of weight. He said he saw him in person yesterday. Robin said she thought he might have lost a few. Jon said he lost about 30 pounds. He said he didn't do it on Ozempic. He said Sal thought that too. He said he was inspired by Jason and he did Nutrisystem for about a month and a half. He said he has been taking better care of himself too. He said he's been playing Pickleball twice a week. He said he's also going for walks for a half hour every day. He said his ass is still huge but he feels better.
Howard said he thought he was sick at first. He said he heard he took Pickleball lessons. He said he didn't know it had been around that long to even have lessons.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he's not excited about the phone but he is excited about the Vision Pro headset. He said he's thinking it'll be like Star Wars there. Howard said he's not wearing that thing. Ralph said you can put prescription lenses in it. He said it's going to be the coolest thing ever. Howard said no. He said Robin isn't getting that. Robin said she is. She said she'll be checking that out. She said she's going to have Imax right in her eyes. Howard said Robin is not getting them.
Howard said he has Jon Hein's couch on the phone. He took the call and the couch said he has much less pressure on him now that Jon is dieting. He said it's great.
Howard said he has to get into the Chris stuff at a later date. Chris said there's this thing going on with gay guys spitting in your mouth. He said he got sick from that from a couple of guys.
Howard took another call from Ralph. Howard said ever since he broke up with Chris he's out of control. Ralph said he hadn't heard all of this spitting stuff. He said that Chris is busy doing the stuff that you don't think he's doing. Howard said Chris sucked off some 23 year old's big cock. Chris said that was at the start of the summer. Howard asked if he got sick from that. Chris said he got sick 3 different times.
Gary said Chris wears a mask in the office and he's out there getting spit in his mouth. Chris said it is a weird thing. He said he can barely put into words what's going on.
Howard said it's all about being horny. Chris said he knows he's weird. Howard said when he was dating he was doing stuff he'd never do because he's so germ phobic. He said he was doing it because he was horny.
Robin said this is funny because she was thinking about going out with Ralph and Chris. She said she didn't know about all of this. She said that he might be a walking disease. Chris said he's not having any sex before Ronnie's wedding. He said he's not going to get sick if he has to go back into the studio. Howard said he has to be careful out there.
Howard asked Ralph if he feels bad about not knowing this stuff. Ralph said he misses Chris. He said that there's a lot going on there. Howard asked why he hasn't RSVP'd the wedding yet. Ralph said he has to get to one thing at a time. He said that if he had a friend who was mad at him wouldn't you call and apologize or something. Chris said he reached out to him a few times. Ralph said he came on air and lied about a few things. He said he's not going to do that. Chris was talking over Ralph and mentioned that he was on a YouTube show that had like 63 viewers over the summer.
Ralph said that he's been friends with Memet and other guys there for years so he's not sure what Chris is talking about. He said that he doesn't like Blitt because he's a weirdo.
Howard asked Chris about letting some guy stick his dick in his ass without a condom. Chris said there was a condom. Howard asked about him getting strep throat after eating out some guy's ass. Chris said he did get strep.
Howard asked for Ralph if Chris had any sex that wasn't a diaster. Chris said he didn't have sex for years so he's making up for it. He said the porn is making things crazy. He said he's done with the crazy stuff for now. He said he can't get sick again.
Howard said maybe Chris should talk to Ralph because he kept him under control. Chris said he was like his conservator. Ralph laughed. Howard said he heard that Chris went out with a guy who was complaining about the Jews and he was so hot that he just went with it. Chris said that he tried to convince himself that he was saying ''juice'' instead of Jews. He said it wasn't just that. He said he was into anti-vax stuff and then the movie The Sound of Freedom and then he knew he had to get out of it. He said he wasn't completely coherent but he was hot. He said he realized he was out of it.
Howard said when he was dating he met a chick who had some weird views and she used the N-word a lot. He said she was so hot though. He said he did have to date her when reason took over. He said he didn't let her spit in his mouth or anything like that. He said that girl was hot. Ralph said she was like a model. He said then she got into the car and yelled at the bouncer and called him the N-word.
Howard asked Chris about the stool sample he had to give to the doctor this summer. Chris said that he was shitting non stop and then he had to give the sample and he wasn't able to go. He said he was wandering around the city that day and he had to go in this store. He said he had this little turd that he ran to the doctor and they were all disgusted by it.
Ralph said he's done some really questionable things and he never gets sick like Chris. Howard said Ralph has a super power. He said he can tell if a woman is ''dirty'' just by looking at her. He said he has some power there. He said he has to go anyway. Ralph and Chris had a little bit of a talk about why they're not talking to each other. Ralph said he doesn't need Chris giving reports on him. He said that's why he's done with him. Chris said all of his friends do the same thing. Howard said they should go to couple's therapy.
Gary said he's curious about why Ralph hasn't RSVP'd to Ronnie's wedding yet. Ralph said he has. He said he has trouble saying no and he can't make it. He said he was dragging his heels. He said he felt bad and they talked the other day so they're all good. He said he can't make it. Howard let Ralph go after that. He said you have to RSVP.
Howard said he thinks the Counting Crows aren't in the hall of fame. Gary said they're not and they haven't even been nominated. Howard said that's a crime.
Howard said Alice Cooper is great. Gar said he got in back in 2011. Howard asked if Rob Zombie is in. Gary said no. Howard said he inducted Alice Cooper. He said it's fucked up that they're not in and Counting Crows too. He said they're a great band. Gary agreed.
Howard said Gary told him about seeing Aerosmith. Gary said they're great. He said Steven has great energy in concert. He said they just got news that they had to cancel some dates because of his vocal cords. Howard said they were with the Black Crowes on tour. Gary said they were great too.
Howard said the older rock stars have to pace themselves. He said Steven Tyler is 75. He said he's just 5 years from 80. He said you have to take it easy at that age. He said Mick Jagger and Keith Richards are amazing. He said they carry on like young men. He said he saw Billy Joel over the summer and he's still doing it too. He said there's no diminishing of the voice either.
Gary said Joe Perry just turned 73. He said they're not young but they perform like they are. Howard said the thing is they have to perform night after night. He said Bruce Springsteen had to take time off. He said they're getting up there. He said it's not easy.
Gary mentioned Tom Petty and Howard said he put off interviewing him because he didn't want to do a morning interview. He said he should have put the show off. Gary said they weren't able to do it at that time. He said they could have done it from Los Angeles.
Howard said Demi mentioned a band Job for a Cowboy that he had never heard of. He said that he looked it up and this is them. He played a clip and it was really hard core metal. Howard said there you go. Robin said they had never heard of any of the bands she talked about.
Howard said they got some feedback about Ronnie and Stephanie's wedding and the Elvis impersonator. Howard said no one cares about Elvis anymore. He said that he likes doing the impression though. He read some of the feedback he got about that. He said someone suggested putting in up on the app. He said he'd do that but he's not sure how Ronnie and Stephanie would feel about that. He said they do have some clips of Ronnie talking to the Elvis impersonator. He said he can play those. He played a clip of Ronnie talking to fake Elvis and how they're going to do the ceremony. Howard said he's not sure about this.
Howard had Ronnie on to talk about all of this. Ronnie said he's not sure what to say. Howard said Elvis wasn't writing anything down. Ronnie said someone was writing it down.
Howard said they met Elvis at the Graceland chapel. He said this is more about the logistics of the wedding. He said that Stephanie didn't want to be presented to Ronnie. He asked if Ronnie thinks that's silly. Ronnie said it's her day so it's whatever she wants. Howard said Ronnie is worried about what it's going to cost him. Ronnie said they're so over budget on this thing.
Howard played more audio from the meeting. Ronnie said that his pockets are going to be empty after this thing. Howard said that's what Ronnie is worried about. He asked what he's up to at this point. Ronnie said he'd rather not say.
Howard said the guys are worried about what it's going to cost them to go. Gary said he's looking at his notes and his plane ticket was like $1800 just for the flight. He said he got a room and that's 250 a night for 3 nights. He said that he has to get a car to the airport and things like that. He said it's going to be very expensive. Howard asked if he thinks he shouldn't have to give a gift. Gary said not at all.
Howard said he remembers when the budget was like 30,000. He asked if he's over 100 grand now. Ronnie said no. Howard said he's guessing it's like 70,000.
Howard asked how many people are coming. Ronnie said they invited 220 and there are 172 coming. Howard said cut the bullshit, just give cash as gifts. He said that Mike Trainor has to give at least 100 bucks. He said he should just ask for money as gifts. He said cash gifts.
Howard asked what he has to give to make it up to him. Ronnie said stop it. Robin said 75K. Howard said stop it. Howard asked Mike what he's going to give. Mike said he's thinking 69.95. Ronnie said he's very touched by anyone who is coming.
Mike said he's only going out for 2 nights. He said he's coming out Thursday and leaving Saturday. Ronnie asked if he's coming to the Wednesday thing. Mike said he's not. He said he has to get back to his kids. He said good for those who can do more than that.
Howard said he heard that Mike doesn't tip the housekeeping staff. Mike said he does. Howard said he heard he doesn't.
Howard said that even Bigfoot called Mike cheap. He said he couldn't believe he only gave Nowicki 50 bucks. He played a clip of Bigfoot talking to Wolfie about that. He called him a Jew for doing that. He said everything was free at the wedding. He said he should have given at least $300. Bigfoot said he would have given at least 100 bucks and he's broke.
Howard had Wolfie on to talk about that. Wolfie said that he thought this was a bit. He said he didn't know it was a real thing. Mike said this is his money and he's sorry he didn't spend it like they think he should. Gary said everyone monitors what everyone else does there. He said they see where he's going and what he's doing. He said he's not broke. He said he sees him going to Disney and stuff like that. Gary said he goes to nice hotels. Howard said you don't know his situation. He said he might have elderly parents he has to take care of and he can't afford it.
Howard said Ronnie is getting $100. Mike said he doesn't always give 50 bucks. He said he's going to see how things go. Ronnie said that's real old school shit. He said they'd fill out the check in the bathroom and put it in a card. He said he used to see that growing up.
Howard asked Mike how much he should give Ronnie. Mike said he has a different relationship. He said he goes back a ways. He said Steve got $2500. He said that he's thinking it goes back 30 years. Ronnie said 38 years. Howard asked what he should give. He asked if 5 grand would cover it. Ronnie said he doesn't care. Howard asked Mike if that would cover it. Mike said that would be very nice and generous. Howard asked the rest of the guys. Wolfie said that's a very appropriate gift.
Howard said now Robin has to give 5. Robin said she doesn't match him all the time. Howard asked Robin what she's going to give. Robin said she hasn't decided yet. She said she won't go 5. She said she'll let Howard shine. Howard said put on her negligee and get over there.
Howard asked what Fred is giving. Ronnie said he has the response card. He said he sent him a blank check. He said it wasn't signed either. Howard asked what kind of obnoxious thing that is. Fred said he's joking with him.
Fred said he's not going to the wedding. He said it's turned into a 4 day event. He said he's getting worked up about people not showing up to the Wednesday thing. Ronnie said he just asked a question. Fred said he thinks he got upset with him. Ronnie said he never said that.
Howard said there's a web site that says $50-75 is an appropriate gift for friends and distant relatives. He said that's what Mike gave.
Howard asked Fred what he's giving. Fred said he did give. Fred said he gave him $500. Ronnie asked what house he went to. Ronnie asked what house it was sent to. Ronnie said it was a blank check with no signature. Fred said he can't believe he did that. Ronnie asked if he's serious. Fred said maybe his wife slipped something into it. Ronnie said there's nothing on it. Ronnie said he threw it in the garbage.
Howard asked if Fred has Alzheimer's. Fred said not at all. Howard said one of them has it. Robin asked if he thought he had written a check. Fred said he did. He said that he did that right after he drew a clock. He said what he'll do is send him another 500. Ronnie said he didn't get a check. He said he thought it was a joke.
Howard said Fred is the strangest guy on the planet and this backs it up. Fred said he doesn't know if he even did that.
Ronnie said when it came they thought it was a joke. He said they thought that he had sent a check that was a closed out account or something. Fred said he apologizes. He said he'll have to ask his wife. Ronnie said he can get Stephanie in there to confirm it. Howard said it concerns him. Fred said he can't imagine he did that. Stephanie came in and Howard asked what happened. Stephanie said they got a blank check with no signature on it. Fred said wow. She said they thought it was a joke. Fred said he has to text his wife. He said this is driving him nuts.
Howard said Stephanie was making some good points about the Elvis wedding. He said the guy seems like a nice enough guy but maybe don't have an Elvis impersonator. Stephanie said they could have but they're not going to do a priest or rabbi. She said this guy is taking it seriously. She said she thinks it'll be good.
Howard said he has some tape of Stephanie asking Ronnie to write down his vows and he doesn't want to do it. He said he can't read because it'll be too small. Howard said he'll writ them for him and that will be part of his gift to them. Howard said she is a saint.
Howard said this is Ronnie and Stephanie talking about the vows. He played a clip where Ronnie said he won't write them down because he won't be able to read them. He said she may have to print it out so he can read it.
Howard wished Stephanie luck with the Elvis guy. He let her go. Howard asked Fred what's going on. Fred said that he got to the bottom of it. He said that Alison was supposed to write the check. He said that he put it out for her to send it back to him and she thought that she wrote it out. He said it wasn't him. He said he isn't throwing her under the bus. He said that she was supposed to write it and she may have overlooked it. Fred said he'll send him whatever over Venmo or another check. Ronnie said he's glad he threw it out then. Fred said he wouldn't fuck with Ronnie on something like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he got married in 2015 and one of his friends came to the wedding and the couple gave him $12.50 a piece. Howard said Mike was being reasonable then.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that we're not sure what Mike makes there. He said Howard should be giving him $65,000 based on what he makes. Howard said he has a mother to support. Howard said this guy is out of his mind.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Bigfoot who went off on Mike about not giving enough. Howard closed the door on him pretty quick.
Wolfie said he thinks Mike put himself on a Radar he didn't need to be on. He said he and Derek got stuck with $200 extra dollars one night when they went out with a group and he's wondering if Mike had something to do with that. Mike said he thinks that he did send Derek some extra money there. He said he's not saying he didn't give anything so he doesn't like being accused of something. Wolfie said he never accused him. Mike said that is an accusation.
Howard said years ago Robin read a story about the Gilgo Beach murders and he commented on it. Howard said this is from November 30, 2011. He played the clip and Robin read about the bodies found there. They edited it to sound like Howard predicted the outcome perfectly.
Howard said he was dead on. Robin laughed and said she didn't know that he was a profiler.
Howard said they're going to have JD, Wolfie, Richard and others do the crab walk up the wall. Jason said that Memet and Mike Trainor think they can do it. Gary said he wants to get in. He said he knows he can't do it but he wants to try it. JD said he thinks he can do it. Howard asked how they're going to set that up. Jason said he could do it in the studio but they're looking at a Parkour park that they might be able to do it at.
Howard said he watched that dude do it and it was fucking amazing. Howard said the fans wrote in about it. He read some feedback about that and people were saying there's no way JD can do it.
Howard asked Wolfie if he's nervous that the guy is so close to him. Wolfie said he's not afraid. He said if he can't beat up a guy who is 5' tall and 120 pounds he's got more to worry about. Robin said they tell people to keep their doors locked around that area. Wolfie said he has no fear of that guy at all. Howard said Wolfie is macho. Wolfie said the guy is tiny. Robin said he's killed two people. Wolfie said he'd like to be able to go out and track the guy down.
Howard said Wolfie got in touch with Bigfoot about that case. He said he thinks he knows how to track the guy. Howard played a clip of Bigfoot talking about tracking the escapee down by finding his warm shit in the woods. He said if it's still warm you can find out how close he is.
Howard asked how Wolfie thinks that's good advice. Wolfie said it's not bad. He said it makes sense. Howard said this guy hiding from police is hard. He said that he has 400 cops looking for him. He said Bigfoot hid from police for 2 weeks once.
Howard let Wolfie go and read some feedback about the Tan Mom update they got. He had a few things to read about her. Howard said Tan Mom gave an interview to TMZ and she was asked about running as a republican. Howard played a clip and Tan Mom answering and she was just as clear as usual. Howard played a Tan Mom song parody.
Howard said they had a pretty full show. He said they didn't get to everything but he hopes it was interesting.
Howard said Paul Simon will be on next Wednesday. He spent a little time talking about how great Paul is as a lyricist. He played some of his music before ending the show. Howard said he was talking to Charlie Puth and he said that Paul is the most original song writer ever. Howard went over what Charlie told him about Paul and why it's so original. He said Charlie said he starts the song ''Slip Sliding Away'' with the bridge. Howard said the guy is a genius. He said he shouldn't have even opened his mouth about it. Fred had the song so he played it for him. Howard said that's not the right one. They went through a bunch of songs trying to figure it out.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Art Garfunkel who said he's available next Wednesday. Howard closed the door on him. Howard said Paul will be on next week. Jon said the song is ''Still Crazy After All These Years.'' He said that's the bridge of the song at the start. Howard said Charlie said that's the best thing to ever happen because no one ever does that. they played it and Howard said that's why Paul is a genius according to Charlie Puth.
Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:40am.
Howard played some audio of the announcement about the new iPhone. Howard and Robin talked about all of the different letters and phrases they use to describe the thing. They talked about the coatings and colors of the new phone too.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was the woman from Apple who made the announcement. They had her giving all kinds of details and talking about how you'll cum in your pants when you see the new phone. She announced a new dick pic technology and things like that.
Howard asked if the fake Apple lady is hot. She said she has been programmed to be by Tim Cook. She said that Steve Jobs never would have been able to do that. She said that Tim Cook is god and if he had a penis she would suck it.
Howard said speaking of Fred he was on Summer School over the summer. Fred said it's the best show on Sirius. Howard asked why he's saying that. Fred said that's because they had him on. Howard said he and his wife were talking about the blank check thing they talked about yesterday. Fred said that baffled him too. He said the check will be in the mail and he will fill it out this time.
Howard said he has some clips of Fred from Summer School. He said he took a defensive driving class. He said that was kind of surprising to him. He said he's not sure if he even has the clip. He found it a second later. Howard said he was zoning out during this.
Fred said that he did hear there were things they had problems with. He said he's been very busy during the summer. He said he kind of came up with this thing that was supposed to be a joke. He said it turned out not to be so funny. He said it was just 2 days but he did take the course. Howard said he starts talking and he zones out on him.
Howard played the clip where Fred was asked about what he was up to and he went into this long explanation about why he took the driving course. He was going into a lot of details.
Howard said Memet was worked up over the whole driving thing. He said he's not sure what he was up to. Fred said he's not sure what he has against him. Howard said Memet also thought that Rahsaan and Gary were complimenting Fred too much on the show.
Howard had Memet on and asked what's going on there. Memet said that he will talk about the driving first. He said his explanation sounded so weird. He said it sounded like it was made up. Howard said he's not going to go back and listen to that clip. Memet said with the driving thing he felt he must be a dangerous driver. He said he got 4 points for doing something. He said it's hard to get that. He said that it has to be driving with the intent to kill or something. He said it can be a hit and run or something like that.
Gary said he got a speeding ticket this summer and he got 4 points. Memet said that can't be. Gary said it was from speeding.
Howard said Memet has a personality where he thinks people are getting their asses kissed on the show. He said he gets upset with people not knowing about him but they do know about Fred and Robin. He said he's not spending every minute memorizing what he's done in his life. He said he gets into big arguments. He said this is why he gets into trouble.
Memet said Howard doesn't listen to the shows. He said he was listening to the Fred and Robin shows. He said it was like they were on getting their asses kissed. Robin said she was told she was belligerent on the show. Howard said Robin is on another planet.
Memet said that they were asking Fred when he realized he was so great and things like that. He said he gets on the show and they were asking why he sucks and why people hate him so much. He said he thought he was going to get his ass kissed too. Gary said he started the show combative. Memet said they were tearing him apart on the show.
Howard played a clip of Memet on Summer School. In the clip Memet was talking about himself and complaining about not getting complimented.
Memet said he thought he was going to get his ass kissed but he was in the fight of his life to get those things in. Howard said he is like Van Gough because he's making him want to cut his ears off.
Howard said this is a tape Memet put together. He said he put ass kissing drops in there. He said this is Memet complaining that Fred got one big blow job the whole interview. He played the clip and there were a lot of dick sucking drops put in there when Gary and Rahsaan were kissing his ass.
Memet said that he was screaming at the radio where Rahsaan was comparing Fred to Lebron James. Fred said he thought he was fucking with him. He said he wasn't going to argue with him. He said it's their show so he's not going to stink up their room.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Memet was on Summer School last year and he complained about not being promoted on the show. Memet said you have to add context to this. He said that Rahsaan was promoting other people every day but he wasn't excited about it. Gary said they pulled the clip and they were promoting it. He said Memet was down playing it.
Memet said he thinks people love him and he had the most downloaded episode of Summer School. Howard said 99.9 percent of the audience has no idea who he even is. He said he doesn't think people are even thinking about him. Memet said the people who are keyed into the show know who he is. He said some people are busy with their lives.
Memet said that he was told by people upstairs that his episode was the most downloaded. Gary asked who that was. Memet said he'll give names later.
Howard said Memet did a great job covering the vinyl party. He said that he doesn't have to talk about Wolfie. He said he gets into big arguments with everyone. Memet said he appreciates it but he's just saying. He said that he can throw him into the great correspondents when he's talking about Wolfie.
Howard asked why he has to attack Wolfie. Memet said he's not. He said he enjoys what he does.
Memet kept saying they ass kiss other people too much. Howard said he's not sure what he's talking about. Memet said Wolfie is the only one who gets mentioned. Howard said he just said he did a good job with the Gary thing. Wolfie said he doesn't go around bragging about what he does. Gary said Memet thinks that what Wolfie does is easy and what he does is hard.
Howard said it's pathetic if you're jealous of Wolfie. He said the guy lives in the middle of the woods in Pennsylvania. He said he recorded Bigfoot taking a big shit. He said give him a compliment. He said look at his room. He said he has super hero figures in glass. He said just look at that.
Howard said Memet went out to L.A. and Gary's vinyl party was a disaster. He said he had the party and he's into vinyl. He said fair enough. He read some notes about where this took place and Gary was walking around in an outfit that fit the place they were at. Howard played some audio of Memet talking to Gary about his clothes and things like that. In the clip Gary said he was told he looks sharp in that outfit.
Howard said the room was full of tequila bottles. He said Gary was happy about that. He was going over the different bottles in the room. He was talking about his favorites and what he would go with and try.
Memet said this is what you hear when the show is going on. He said Gary talks about things like that in the office. Howard asked if Gary is an expert in everything. He said he assumes that people want to hear about all of that stuff. Robin said he doesn't even know, he's just reading labels. Gary said he's giving his opinion.
Howard played a clip of Gary talking to the crowd about the vinyl party. Gary explained the party to the crowd and he was going on and on about why they were doing this and how people who have vinyl are passionate about it.
Howard said right about there he tuned out. Robin said as soon as he said ''this is how it started'' she was wondering if this is about the life of Abraham Lincoln. Memet said that he was talking about how he was invited to a vinyl party and that's how the vinyl party got started.
Howard said Gary is great at saying a lot of words and saying nothing. Howard said Gary got into how he's going to start a vinyl party. He said John Stamos was there and Jimmy Jam was there. He said Gary got into his choice of music that he brought. Memet said he went off the rails a little bit here. Howard played a clip of Gary talking about the Talking Heads and how he got into them. He talked about the songs he liked and how he didn't know that ''Take me to the River'' was a cover song and so on.
Howard said you can hear people talking in the background. He said they don't care. Memet said they were 5 minutes into this party and they were going out for smoke breaks. He said that the couches were clearing out already. Howard said people were going out for a smoke and they didn't even smoke.
Howard played more of Gary talking about the history of the song. Howard asked why he would go on so long. Gary said the whole point was to tell a story. Howard played more of Gary explaining why that song was the one he wanted to play.
Howard said the Apple event was more exciting. He said things got so bad that Gary had to keep shushing the audience. He said they weren't listening. Memet said he did have to keep asking them to listen. Howard played a montage of Gary shushing people and asking them to pay attention.
Howard said shushing is always a great sign of a good party. Robin said that this was people showing up voluntarily and hoping to have a good time. She said they had to find that good time away from what the plan was for the party. She said they were entertaining themselves. Robin said Gary was boring them and he had to ask them to stop having a good time. Gary said they were doing a broadcast too.
Howard said Gary was trying something. He said that Memet went up to Rob Corddry and asked what he thought of Gary's pick. Rob wasn't able to remember the song Gary picked. Rob didn't learn anything from his speech at all. Howard said he learned not to come next year to the vinyl party. He said maybe Rob passed out during Gary's speech.
Howard said Gary was in all his glory. He said he had no perception that it was a failure. He said this is Gary talking about the party after it was over. Memet asked how he felt it went. Gary said it was better than expected. He said he should have spent more time talking about going to buy that record. He said it was about how he got it. They faded out on the rambling.
Gary said every person there had a great time. Robin said he kept interrupting their great time. Gary said they still stayed.
Wolfie said he did a great job and that was awesome. Howard answered a knock at the door and it was Gary Audiobook clips. The guys played Gary rambling in his audiobook.
Memet said he spent 4 or 5 days with Gary out there. He said he put together a top 5 Gary Observations list. Memet said number 5 was that Gary dresses like a cartoon character. He said he wears the same outfit over and over again. Howard said enough dumping on Gary. He said give him a break. Memet said he's wearing the same outfit today. Howard said he's right. Memet said that he really likes that shirt. Gary said one is black and one is blue. He said he has a John Varvatos shirt in 5 different colors.
Wolfie said there are some good things on this list. Howard asked Memet what else he has. Memet said that Gary carries a card for the TSA so they know he has titanium knees. He said number 3 is that Gary has a very callus elbow and one is very smooth. Gary said he thinks he leans when he's doing the show. He said he may lean on one more than the other. Howard said Gary may play with it. He said it becomes very erotic. He said he may press on it and it stimulates him.
Howard asked what else he has. Memet said Gary is chronically late. He said he showed up late for everything out in L.A. Gary said he was late one day. He said that he was off by a half hour. He said he didn't show up late for anything. He said he was early for the vinyl party.
Howard asked what the number 1 thing is. Memet said that they were told that Gary and his guests were only to eat the lunch they had there. He said that the rest of them would get food somewhere else. He said that he was shocked that Gary showed up to get their food. Gary said hold on. He said they got there at 3 for a show at 7. He said they brought in 40 pizzas for the workers there. He said the food that he was privy to hadn't even arrived yet. He said that was lunch. He asked if he ate the last 2 pieces. Gary said there were like 10 boxes left over. Memet said he was eating stuff they were told not to eat.
Howard said Blitt said that Gary ate off of his plate. Gary said they talked about that. He said he said that was true. Howard said he heard a story about Gary eating a candy bar off of Chris' desk without asking.
Gary said he thinks people had fun at this party. Memet said they did. Howard said Memet has another story about Gary talking about boring stuff. Memet said they were on the walk of fame and he knew every name there.
Howard played a clip of Gary talking about the people as they walked by the names on the walk of fame. He knew everyone they walked by.
Memet said that was just a small taste. He said it was everyone as they walked down the walk of fame. Howard had a montage of Gary explaining who everyone was.
Howard said ''oh my god...'' as he was listening to Gary going on and on. Memet said he wasn't able to get a question in. He said you just walk with him and he goes. Robin said it almost sounds like stream of consciousness. She said he was wrong about some of that stuff. She said that he was talking about someone and he was wrong about what the guy did. She said she looked him up.
Gary said Memet eats like a child. He said he goes to get a steak at Dave and Busters. He said anywhere he goes he goes into a panic about what to order. He said he puts salt on everything too. Memet said he's the most fit person on the staff. He said he lost his gut. Gary asked when he did that. Howard said lets just say that Memet is great and Wolfie is a piece of shit. He said that was Gary and Memet in Hollywood. He wrapped up with the guys and let them go.
Howard said that was the vinyl party. He asked why he doesn't care about vinyl. He said he just doesn't. Robin said instead of making it short and sweet it seems like the party never ends and people got tired of it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Howard had gone to the party what would his favorite cover song have been. Howard said his head is spinning from that whole thing. He said he can't pick. Howard said Gary is very comfortable talking about his history. He said he's not sure it's particularly good. He said he's not sure if people care about all of that.
Howard played a song parody about Gary and his vinyl sounding like shit.
Howard said he thinks the moaning thing during sex is creepy. He said you don't want a woman hearing that. Ed said Chris moans. Howard said maybe that's what gay guys do. He said he really doesn't know if Chris moans.
Howard said that's just him not moaning. He said that must creep Robin out. Robin said no one has done that with her. She said that she'd wonder what's going on. Howard said he's as silent as a church mouse.
Howard said women know he's having a good time. He said he doesn't need to moan. Chris said he moans sometimes. He said he hears Fred moaning all morning. Howard said Fred has sat in studio for a long time and he put him behind the wall because he does that. He said Fred doesn't know what he's doing back there. He said it's like he's interacting with the show.
Chris said he may moan during sex but he doesn't make a point of it. Howard asked if Fred is still moaning. Chris said he stopped. Fred said he is aware of it. Howard said in the 1800s he would have been tied up for witchcraft.
Ed said that his ex-lover is with someone and there is nothing going on between her and the guy now and he's not sure why that is. Howard said he's not sure that he cares.
Howard said Blitt claims that he screams during sex. He said he's willing to demonstrate. Howard said he thinks that would freak out a woman. Blitt said it's uncontrollable. He said he lost his virginity at 27 and it's been going on since. Howard asked how that happened. Howard said he was a total fucking loser and he got laid at 16. Blitt said he was in a virginity prison. He said he missed the boat with the virginity thing. Chris said that's why he yells now. Blitt said he's very loud. He demonstrated the yell and he sounded like Benjy yelling. Howard said that can't be true. Blitt said he wouldn't lie about that. He said it's true. He said it's really what happens.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Dice Clay who said moaning is for chicks. He said that's not for dudes. He talked about what he does during sex by barking out orders to the women. He said he makes these whores sound like lawn mowers.
Howard let Dice go and said he just got yelled at by Dice. Chris said dirty talk turns him on. Howard said he used to do that but it turned Beth off. He said he had to stop. He said a lot of women seemed to like it when he was dating. He said that he tried that out with some women. He said he would get into conversation kind of. He said Beth will shush him during sex. He said at first he was insulted. He said she was right though. Howard said they just get the job done now.
Blitt was whispering something and Howard told him to get out of there. He said he's creeping him out now.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wanted to say that guy's moaning is a big no-no. she said she knows two guys who are good in bed but the moaning is nerve wracking. Howard said it's not good. He said knock it off. He said getting laid, there is nothing greater. He said you don't have to yell and scream. He said that he's pretty good at not creeping people out. He said making noise is a turn off.
Howard said just be grateful to be fucking. He said it's good enough. He said just leave it at that. He said that he's just happy that Beth stays awake during sex.
Howard said he got a note from her this morning saying she's quarantining away from him. He said he's not sure what benefit he gets from that. He said he should tell her he's angry. Robin said it may not be worth it. Howard said she should have worn a mask. Robin said she'll get upset if he gets upset. Howard said imagine not wanting to spend every minute of your life with him. Robin said sure, how can she tear herself away.
Howard said he saw that the new vaccine is out. Robin said they did approve it for everyone. She said it may not be available yet. Howard said he thinks it is. He said there are so many anti-vaxers out there. He said he saw a clip of some dude screaming about how he wanted to kill Fauci and things like that. He said he wants to blame the internet.
Howard said that there's a thing going on where people are refusing to get their dogs vaccinated against rabies. He said it's stupid. He said rabies is not a thing to bullshit about. He said they did a study and found that 53 percent of the country thinks that pet vaccines are unsafe or not effective. He read through stats about that and how people are afraid that their pet will get autism from the vaccines. Howard said vaccines are a miracle. He said they say that the shingles vaccine may reduce the risk of Alzheimer's. He said he just doesn't get it.
Howard said they still haven't caught that dude in Pennsylvania. He said he has to be dressing like a woman. Howard said some of the guys swear they could take the guy down. He said later on they're going to see if the guys can climb up the wall like the escaped prisoner.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he had this woman who wanted to do it in front of a mirror. He said she also said that she loves the way her pussy swallows his cock. He said that was it for him. Howard said he has been with women who dirty talk and he thinks it's fantastic. He said it is pretty hot. He said he's not sure he'd marry someone like that.
Howard said that pussy swallowing a cock thing is pretty hot. He said the mirror thing is too. He said that's hot. He said this girl is a keeper. The caller said no. He said he's been dying to ask him about Lenny Dykstra's daughter in law being Jamie Lynn Siegler. Howard said he didn't know that. He told the caller to go find that woman and get her back.
Howard said he had a woman he dated who would come into the room naked and just tell him to fuck her. He said that was hot. Robin said she was reading about some senator who was on a sex site and released some video of that. Robin said a lot of young people are filming themselves having sex and it gets out. Robin said this woman has kids and she wants to contribute to society and this stuff comes out. Howard said he'd want someone like that to have some common sense. He said if they're part of a sex club he's not sure he'd vote for them. He said they're idiots. Robin asked if people can grow up and get smarter. Howard said he hasn't.
Howard said he has someone on the phone who has a dog that got vaccinated and became autistic. Howard took the call and the dog was barking and talking about collecting spoons like JD.
Howard took a call from a guy who said his wife got something from getting vaccinated. Howard said he doesn't want to hear it. Robin said that people have gotten that without vaccines so just because she got vaccinated doesn't mean that she got it from the vaccine.
Howard said we have people who won't get the polio vaccine. He said they're just flying off the handle and doing whatever they want. Robin said those people seem to want to just live in a world where your kids die from polio and things like that.
Howard said he has gotten vaccinated for a bunch of things lately. He said he got the RSV and others.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that having sex in a mirror is terrible. He said he doesn't want to see himself in a mirror. Howard said you just do it and don't look at yourself. He said it's fantastic if the woman is turned on by it.
Howard said on Howard 101 they have Steve Miller doing an acoustic session. He said they're going to air that on Friday night on 101. He said it's just Steve there with a 12 string playing. He said it's very cool because he's doing it acoustically. He said the guy is 79 and he sounds great. Howard played a little bit of Steve doing his thing. Howard said he loves this. He said Steve is turning 80 in 3 weeks. He said Steve does a bunch of songs in this special. He played another song and said he's very honored to have that on their channel.
Howard asked Gary if he heard this. Gary said he watched it. He said they're all songs we love. He said it's amazing. Howard thanked Steve for doing it.
Howard said next Wednesday Paul Simon will be on. He said they had a special on one of the channels there and they had Shirley Manson and Noel Gallagher hosting a show and Noel said his favorite song is Paul Simon's ''America''. He said that he said that they were the most moving lyrics in a song. Howard played the song. He said he gets the chills every time he hears it and he's not even sure what he's talking about.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and Robin said they have breaking news. She said they caught the guy, Danelo Cavalcante, who as on the run in Pennsylvania. She said there will be more details later today.
Howard said he wants to play this. He said there's this internet radio show that they listen to where they have Tara and Mother. He said there's this show they make calls to all the time. He said they call it the world's strangest radio show. He said they think Mother is a man but they're not sure. Howard played an example of calls they've made to that show in the past.
Howard said they called the same show using AI software. He said this is AI Tara and AI Mother calling the show. He said this may be the future of phony phone calls.
Howard played the clip and Tara and Mother took the call from Chris Wilding who was playing ''John'' who created this AI Mother and Tara. Tara had no idea what he meant. He played them some examples of the AI voices and they had a conversation with themselves about the world ending and wacky stuff like that. Chris had the AI people having sex so they hung up on him.
Howard said AI Mother and Tara were fucking and that seemed to upset the real Tara and Mother.
Howard said they already have a sequel in the works for that call. He said we'll be seeing more of that AI stuff.
Howard said they have a wall set up in the studio. He said he has JD, Gary, Mike and Memet there to do this. Memet said that everyone has a helmet and gear to do this but not him. Gary said that Memet was the one who chose the order. He said he's not sure why. Memet said he's the only one who can reasonably pull this off.
Howard said they saw that this prisoner was able to shimmy himself up between two walls by spreading out across it. He said he had to get over some barbed wire too.
Howard said he wants to say something. He said Memet assumes that he can do this and the other guy's can't. Memet said he's fit and not old or fat. Memet said if anyone can do it it's him. Gary asked to see his stomach. Memet said he has a flat stomach. JD said he's sucking it in.
Howard said anyway JD, Gary and Mike all have helmets on. He said they're going to try this out and Memet will get a helmet as well. He said he doesn't think any of these guys can do this. He said that Memet isn't the healthiest eater. Memet said Howard has to acknowledge that he's the only one who can do this. Howard said no one knows how this is going to go. He said he doesn't know if JD can do it or not.
Howard said JD is set up and he has a helmet and knee pads on. He had JD try to do this escape thing that the prisoner, Danelo Cavalcante, did. Howard had JD give it a shot. JD was laughing from the start. He immediately said he doesn't think he can do it. He fell within seconds. JD gave it another shot and failed. He said he can't do it. He said he kind of did it for a second. Robin said he was sliding immediately.
Howard said JD got as far as putting one foot up on the wall. He said Gary is trying it next. He got up and tried it and got somewhere. Gary said that's about as good as he can do. Howard said he got a little further than JD. He said he has titanium knees. He said they have to be worse.
Howard said Mike Trainor is next. He said he agrees with Memet that Mike is out of shape. Mike gave it a shot and got up the wall a little bit. He told Memet to suck it. Howard said he did get further than anyone so far. Derek said he got about 2 feet higher than Gary.
Howard said everyone calm down. He said we have to get back to the game. Memet was up next. Howard did the play by play. Memet said he's pretending that the only way out of a vinyl party is by doing this on a wall. He did his thing and fell immediately. Memet said he has not ever attempted this. He said the wall is too close together. He wasn't able to do it. He was blaming the grease on the wall for his issues. Howard said he's trying again. Memet said he needs the helmet. He said the conditions aren't right. He said the walls are too smooth. He said that Trainor is taller. Gary said he's shorter than Memet and he got horizontal.
Howard said Memet was the one who said he would be able to do it. Derek said that Memet is sweating. He said he's glistening under the lights. Memet said this isn't a skill he needs to have. He wasn't able to do it. Howard said it's interesting that he said he would be the only one to come close and he did the worst. He said he was worse than Gary and JD. Memet said that there's grease on the walls from their hands. He said he's stunned he wasn't able to do it.
Howard said it's interesting that the prisoner didn't need different shoes. Memet asked to do it with different shoes and tried it again. Robin said he's never going to get it that way. Memet went up the wall and got up a couple of steps. Memet said kiss his ass. He said he knew it was the shoes. Howard said that was not graceful. Memet said he was correct though. He said that he told them he'd be the best at it. Robin said no one was good at it. Robin said now they know how hard it was.
Howard said that ain't easy to climb up backwards. He said that was really something.
Howard wondered why it doesn't sound like this when he sings it. He said Fred is waving a lighter in the air. Gary said he has a breaking alert. He said that Blitt has climbed the wall. Howard said he doesn't care. He said they're still there competing. He said he's done with that bit.
Howard asked how many takes Adam had to do in that song. Gary said he really doesn't know. He said he just got the final product. Robin wondered if he did the song with other musicians because there's drums in there. Howard asked if he laughed the first takes and then got it. Robin said she's not sure how he did that ''deuce'' line and got through it. She said he just sang about dropping a nice deuce.
Howard said he's getting word that Adam sang to the music track. Derek said that's right. He said Mike Fox came up with the instrumentation for the song. Robins said that's amazing. Howard said Adam said that he can't believe he got through the whole song without laughing.
Howard took a call from a guy who said last night he and his wife were watching the MTV Video Music Awards and Tiffany Haddish just about had her nipples out. Howard said he didn't see it. He said he's wrapped up in this Yellowjackets show. He said there's so much shit out there to watch. He said it's weird that they even have the VMAs now. Robin said they call the statue a ''Moon person'' instead of the Moon Man. Howard said that's a little weird.
Howard said they should have nudity on the show. He said it is on cable. He said that it's fine to have nudity there. He said some channels try to keep it clean. He said they don't have any reason to keep it clean.
Howard asked if Tiffany was showing her nipple or just close to it. The caller said it was just a super sheer top. He said she wasn't wearing a bra. Howard said he goes on Mr. Skin sometimes and they show stuff like that. He said he's very frustrated by that. He said it doesn't move his needle if you know what he means.
Howard said he hasn't heard anything about the show but he assumes that Taylor Swift won. Robin said she thinks she did. Howard said he's seeing that she won 3 awards. He played some audio from the show where they announced her as a winner.
Robin said they say that she may be dating Travis Kelce from the Kansas City Chiefs. Howard said she's worth billions so good for him. He said a poor guy should be dating her though. Robin said that would be evening things out and that's not the world we live in.
Howard played some audio of Taylor performing at the VMAs. He said he thinks that was the song that Gary waited to hear at the end of her concert. Gary said that's right. He said it's Anti Hero. Gary said that some people don't think the song is that great but he does.
Howard said he didn't see it but he'll check the show out. Robin said that she read some things about the show and how some performers were keeping it safe this year. Robin said that it was Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B performing last year and it upset some people. He said they did something safer this year. He said they had WAP (Wet Ass Pussy) and they did ''Bongos'' this year. He said that song refers to ass cheeks apparently. He said he thought that bongos referred to boobs. He played some of that song. He jokingly said that's Ronnie's ring tone on his phone.
Howard said JD was upset that Cardi B has a great ass and she covered it in tattoos. Howard asked JD if he's summing that all up correctly. JD said with an ass he doesn't want tattoos on it. He said he wants to see an ass or boobs. He said he doesn't want them covered in art. Howard said he loves a woman not covered in tattoos. Howard said he's not into porn where the woman is covered in tattoos.
JD said that Megan must be working out because she looked awesome. Howard asked if she has one of those big Kim Kardashian asses. JD said she has a big enough ass. He said she knows how to move it. Howard asked if he like sit when they shake their ass up and down. JD said it's like they're riding you and you imagine it that way. He said that's the thing. Howard asked JD who he thought looked good. JD said that Emily Ratajkowski looked great there. He said Nelly Furtado looked great too. He said they both looked great. Howard said JD was also into Bebe Rexha. JD said he wasn't feeling it for Shakria. He said Emily Ratajkowski had her stomach out and her dress was like a boob sling kind of thing. Howard said she knows how to dress. He said she knows that being hot is her thing. He said that's what she's known for. He said she has a history with the VMAs. He said she was nude in that Robin Thicke video. Howard saw her outfit and said that really is a boob sling. He said she is something. He said he wishes Pete would come on the show and talk about what it was like being with her. Robin said he's been with so many women he may not even remember.
Howard said he knows Eric Andre was with her and Pete Davidson was dating her. He asked why they broke up with her. JD said maybe she broke up with them.
Robin said that Kim Kardashian is saying she regrets dating Pete now. Howard said it sounds like Emily may have broken up with Eric Andre. He said he's not sure that happened that way. He said that it must have been great sex though. He said Eric isn't talking about it.
Howard said he read John Stamos' book over the summer and he tells some fascinating stories about who he dated. He said his girl was dating Tony Danza behind his back and he liked hearing that. He said the book was really good. He said he doesn't retain these stories very well. He said there was something about Tony Danza in the book. He didn't remember the details.
Howard said he used to live in the same building as Tony Danza and he made sure to keep Beth away from him. He said that John never says it was Tony but he alludes to it. He said just listen to his book and you'll know. He said he really enjoyed the book. He said there were a lot of fucking stories in there.
Howard said he's spent time with John and he has told him things. He said he knows some of the people he's been with. He said he has maybe 10 percent in that book. He said he has another 17 books in him. He said he fucked everyone.
Howard said he was afraid that John was writing a book about everyone he fucked and that would be like War and Peace. He said he'd never get through that book. He said he can't sit there for a month.
Robin asked what the book is called. Gary said it's called If You Would Have Told Me: A Memoir. Howard said he should have called it ''Pussy is Awesome. Pussy is the Greatest.''
Howard said John really loved Bob Saget. He said that's one thing he learned from the book. He said he thought that was shtick. He said he didn't know how close they were. Robin said they were like brothers. She said it was great. She said she went out to eat with them. Howard said according to Stamos Bob Saget was the greatest comedian who ever lived. He said he didn't know the comedy of Bob Saget that well. He said he will never get over that loss. He said they were like brothers.
Howard said he's reading Anderson Cooper's new book and Arnold Schwarzenegger's book (Be Useful: Seven Tools for Life). He said he's on the fist two chapters of Arnold's book and he agrees with what he says about being useful in life. He said he's right. He said he has talked to Arnold about all of this. He said he had to be a lunatic in his life. He said the book is well written.
Howard said from what he's hearing about this stuff is that this could lead to some serious problems down the road. He said you have to think long and hard about it. He said everyone wants to be thin. He said he's seen some people who are really hot after doing this. He said you may shave a few years off your life but you may turn out hot.
Howard said he's not sure who makes Ozempic. Robin said there are a few companies and it's not that easy to get it from any of them. Howard said if he owned that company he would get to work and make a ton of that shit. He said he's not sure why they can't up it. Robin said they are but they had no idea that there was going to be a run on it. She said everyone wants it now. Howard said he and Robin should have invented it and they'd have no need to do the radio show.
The caller said it seems like it was during COVID that they had a run on it. He said it's just messed up. He said he called for something else. He said he wanted to talk to Gary off the air about something in his life. He didn't want to bring it up to Howard. Howard said he can talk to Gary. He put him on hold to do that.
Howard said please don't call and say you want to talk off the air. Howard said there's a shot that makes you skinny. He said that's hard to believe. Robin said they didn't know until people started taking it.
Howard said it must have been like the Beverly Hillbillies. He said Uncle Jed was shooting and he found oil. He said a bubbling crude came up out of the ground. Howard said this Ozempic is like that. He said they figured out that the drug makes people skinny too. They played the Beverly Hillbillies theme song and Howard did his southern accent and talked about finding the Ozempic as if it were oil. Robin told Howard about the company that created Ozempic being Novo Nordisk. They spent a little time talking about that.
Howard was doing his accent and talking on his megaphone but the megaphone gave out. Howard said Sharon Osbourne is on this Ozempic too. He said she's really skinny now. He said she's disappearing. He said she barely exists anymore.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that people are having bad side effects from the Ozempic now. He said there has to be side effects from it. Howard said he hates to say it but he was happy that other people were heavy and he wasn't. He said he did the work to lose weight.
Robin said she talked to some people who are on Ozempic and one person said she took a bite of a cookie and threw up on the floor. She said they know there are side effects.
Howard was still doing his Uncle Jed thing and talking about the side effects of the Ozempic thing. Robin said no one talks about the side effects. She said that you have a tough time with food when you're on it.
Howard took a call from Wendy the Slow Adult audio clips who was supposed to be a woman on Ozempic. She was shitting her diaper being on Ozempic. Howard said he heard she's down to 27 pounds. The guys had Wendy saying yes to everything.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he started Ozempic 10 weeks ago and it's the best. He said he wasn't able to walk 10 weeks ago and he's doing great now. He said he doesn't care if he has a dick growing out of his ear he'll never stop using it. Howard said King of All Blacks is on it and lost 75 pounds. He said he looks great.
Howard said Oprah claims she doesn't use Ozempic. Robin said they do have it available through Weight Watchers.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to let him know about his experience with Ozempic. He said it was not good. He said he was on it for a year maybe. He said 2 or 3 months in he had horrible sweats, vomit and diarrhea. He said he passed out at one point. He said the doctor said that they had to take him off of it and he hasn't had those symptoms since. He said he lost about 25 or 30 pounds. He said that he is a big boy and it was helpful but it wasn't working for him.
Howard said everyone wants to talk about this stuff now. He took another call from a guy who said that they have an article about this stuff in the NY Post. He said he's sure there are people who have side effects but he's been taking it for 3 years and it works for him. He said he lost about 40 pounds. He said it takes away your appetite. He said that he's sure that some people have side effects but it works for him.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said he was thinking about taking this. He said he's not sure how he'd deal with the diarrhea with the students he has to deal with. Howard said what he'd worry about is that you can take off weight the old fashioned way. He said you can take the shot but you don't need to. Robin said Bobo goes to the gym every morning. Bobo said he still needs to lose about 25 pounds from his stomach. Howard said you don't need to use that stuff to do it.
Howard took a call from Rachel Butera who does voices for them. Howard said she did that Rosie calling the sex hot line the other day. Rachel said she took Ozempic and it made her sick. SHE said she had bad acid reflux and she had to go to the hospital because of that. She said they had to check her lungs and it was really bad. She said she had to stop taking it. Howard said everyone is different. He said that's too bad. He said some people say it's terrible. He said he's sure it would bother him.
Howard asked what he does for work. Hunter said he's getting into real estate. Howard said he has to get to that and then the younger girls will come. He said he sounds half dead so he may have to work on that personality. He said he has to be a little bit more peppy. Hunter said he has a good personality. Howard asked him to demonstrate that personality and walk him through a house. Hunter did his thing and Fred played a snoring drop.
Howard let Hunter go. He said he got out of his parent's house at 18. He said this guy is 23 and still living at home. He said he has to get out of there. He said when he was that age no MILFs were fucking him. He said he was working on his career. He said he just went home after working on his career.
Howard took a call from a surgeon who said that he doesn't prescribe Ozempic but there are concerns with being on it for when you get surgery. He said that if there's food in your stomach that shouldn't be there can lead to aspirating and there are new guidelines for it with surgery. Howard said he wants to go back to the way things were and not have this stuff available. He said he wants to see more fat people. Robin said that brings along different complications. Howard said let them do their thing and lose the weight. Robin said they're just fat and sick so they're not losing the weight.
the caller said for really obese people this is a miracle drug. He said they could do away with obesity in America with this if they just had a way to monitor it.
Howard asked if this guy ever goofs on people who look funny on the operating table. The guy said you can't do that. He said you may think about it at home but never in the operating room.
Howard said he'd like to take a shot that makes you good looking. He said he's sick of looking like this. He said if his father was alive he'd flip out knowing there's a shot that makes you thin. He said that he would be freaking out about it. He did his impression of his dad freaking out about the news.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he just got back from Burning Man. Howard said it sounds like a horror show to him. He said that is hard core. The caller said it was a blast being there. The guy said there was an orgy tent there and it was constant orgies going on. He said they went for a massage and they didn't participate in any of that.
Howard said he's amazed when he hears about rock stars trading women and stuff. He said he could never do that.
Howard played William Shatner, Jewel and others covering songs that he has done. He said Donnie Vie covered the song Bang O'Clock for him. He said that fans were blown away by Chris Wilding having such a wild summer. He read some of that feedback. Howard said Robin looks like she's going to throw up.
Howard said some people were saying to give a break to Mike Trainor about how much he gave. He said that Ronnie is happy about him just taking the trip. He said Ronnie wants gifts. He said he's just saying the appropriate thing. He said Ronnie is just bull shitting everyone. He said he's whining to everyone that his pockets are empty. He said he wants them to pick up the tab for the wedding. He said you have to give something.
Howard said he has been to weddings where they say not to give gifts. He said you know they want something. He asked if Ronnie has a registry. Ronnie said no. He said neither of them do.
Ronnie said please don't give him anything. Howard said he can do that. He asked what charity he should give it to. Ronnie said anything he wants. He said how about SPCA Nevada. He said everyone can do what they want. He said what he said yesterday he meant. He said don't make it bullshit.
Howard said Ronnie has already spent like 75 grand on this wedding. He said he needs to get some back. He asked how much that would cost to make that back. He said Ronnie is so red from being in the sun. He said he has to go to the dermatologist. Ronnie said he was just there a couple of weeks ago.
Robin figured that $436 per person would make the money back. Howard said that's how he can make it back. He said if they give $500 then he can make a few bucks. Ronnie said he's making shit out of this whole thing. Howard said he'd have some money left over.
Howard said Ronnie gave Blitt a list of things he didn't want. Ronnie said Blitt is a fucking asshole. He said he does the same thing to him that he does to JD. He said he tries to make assholes out of both of them.
Howard said Mike Trainor is upset about them counting his money. He said he doesn't even want to play that.
Gary said he was a little rough on Mike but Mike has been rough on him. He said Mike has goofed on him about the vacation he has and the money he makes there. He said that he has given him a hard time from the day he got there. He said he didn't investigate the vacations he takes. He said he talks openly about them in the office. Mike started in on Gary again about his vacation. Gary said he was in his business before he got in his. Howard let the two of them go at it for a few seconds before cutting them off.
Howard asked if Mike can give Ronnie a couple of extra bucks. Mike said he'll start looking in the sofa cushions. Howard thanked everyone for writing in and thanked Ronnie for all of this.
Howard said he has to get on the vows thing. He said Ronnie hasn't even started yet. Ronnie said he has plenty of time. He said Stephanie hasn't written her's yet either. He said she's busy ordering stuff on Amazon. Howard said Beth does the same. He said he worries about how much they're spending on there. He said they get crates and boxes there all the time.
Ronnie said they get flowers there. He said they're everywhere. He said he thinks she's trying to make her own bouquet for the wedding. He said he doesn't know what's going on. He said she built this fucking thing and they had to have a truck come and pick it up. Howard asked what she built. Ronnie said it's some thing you stand under. He said he doesn't know what the fuck it is. He said she wanted to do it on her own. He said they have truckloads of shit coming there constantly.
Howard said he's not sure what's going on over there. He said he has to be upset about it. Ronnie said it's not there permanently. He said it's just there until the wedding. He said his shrink keeps telling him it's her day so he has to let it go. He said that he did ask her what she's going to do with all of this shit after the day.
Howard said he likes how Ronnie has to be told that women like weddings. He said the shrink has to go through all of that with him. He said he has to tell him that women like flowers too. He said if he recorded those sessions he'd be a hit. Howard said that wedding is going to be something. He asked if he can put it on the channel. Ronnie said he'd have to talk to her about that.
Howard said he would tune in to hear the Elvis guy singing. Ronnie said they'll be recording it. He said they have to have it all. Howard said every wedding he's ever been at with Ronnie he's been drunk. Ronnie said it was one wedding and that was Bubba's. Howard asked if he would care if people got up and screamed cunt at the wedding. Ronnie said they can do whatever they want. He said Stephanie might be upset by it.
Howard asked if he's going to drink there. Ronnie said a little bit. He said he might smoke some weed. He said he'll have a drink or two. He won't get wasted like that. He said he has a whole weekend of shit going on so he has to be intact.
Howard said cool. Ronnie said they're having a pool day too. Howard said he's going to go nuts with the girls in bathing suits. He said he'll get them to take their tops off.
Howard played some clips of Ronnie out on the street in Miami yelling and screaming for Howard and yelling out ''cunt'' and other things. They played Ronnie yelling ''Lets fuck some whores!'' and things like that too. Ronnie said that's why he won't be drinking this time. Howard let Ronnie go and wrapped up the show. They were done around 10:35am.