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Howard said he was off for 2 weeks and you'd think he'd be ready to get back to it but he's just sleepy. He said you have to keep doing it to stay in shape to keep it up. He said Fred is over there dancing with glow sticks. He said he was excited to play this song for everyone. He said someone on the crew got to work and did this for fun. He said they're not doing it for the show.
Howard said people ask what he does when he's off for 2 weeks. He said he went and had root canal. He said it was great. He said he loves root canal. He said then he ended up getting pill Esophagitis which is where he had a lump in his throat whenever he swallowed. He said remind him to take more time off. He said that was from the antibiotic. He said he's feeling better now so it's just in time to go back to work. He said he's having a great time.
Howard said he's so fragile. Robin said she did hear about this sensitivity he was having. Howard said he went to the dentist a few months ago and they saw something going on but it wasn't bad. He said it got worse as time went by. He said he was dealing with it but then over the weekend it got so bad he couldn't deal with it anymore. He said then he had to get a root canal. He said they showed him a video of what they had to do and he didn't want to see it. He said he feels better now. He said he's so fragile.
Robin said she's never heard of this Esophagitis thing. Howard said he hadn't either. He said the cure for that is to stop taking the pill. He said it's also to drink hot water.
Howard said the ratings were up for the first time in a few years. He said Jimmy's wife Molly was the Executive Producer of the show. He said that she's got a lot of jobs like that and she has to blow Jimmy on top of all of that. He said Jimmy likes sex. He said he seems so a-sexual but he has some sexual appetite.
Howard said he knows Jimmy wants it but he's not sure how often they have sex. Robin said he has talked about how much he likes Ronnie's sex tips. Howard said he's the horniest guy in late night. He said it's Kimmel, Colbert and Fallon. He said that Fallon loves to entertain. He said Colbert is religious so he doesn't care about sex.
Howard said good for Jimmy. He said he did a good job. Howard said he did tell Brendan Fraser that he was going to win. He said he was happy about his win. He said he's glad the Elvis guy didn't win. He said all of these guys all bring their mothers to the show. He said that's the Bradley Cooper move. He said the movie Elvis didn't win any awards. He said he didn't even see it. Robin said she thought he did. Howard said he saw the trailer and that was enough. He said he never liked Elvis anyway. He said he doesn't get Elvis. Robin said he was one of the guys who signed the worst contracts. Howard said that's because he was a dummy. Robin said that's how you get your life signed over. Howard said he just wanted to sing and didn't care about the contract. Robin said this guy Tom Parker told him what to sing and what to do and where he could do it. She said she doled out his money to him like a kid getting an allowance. Howard said he was like the first Britney Spears.
Howard went into his Elvis impression and sang a little bit. He was talking about his history in the song he was singing and talking. He said that if you die on a toilet that's where you spend the rest of eternity. He was going on and on about his wacky history. He went through a whole song about that and then Fred started another one. Howard kept going goofing on Elvis and the stupid things he did in his life. He talked about the two stupid things he did in his life and that was Priscilla and Pills.
Robin said Colonel Tom was the best because he never left because he kept saying he'd only leave if Elvis paid him all the money he owed him and he was never able to pay him off.
Howard stayed in his Elvis voice and kept goofing on him about how dumb he was. Howard said he was so confused. Fred started another song since Howard talked his way through two already. Howard kept going with the Elvis impression. He said he was distracted by a laser pointer like a cat. He said that's what Colonel Tom did to him.
Howard as Elvis said he fell in love with Priscilla when she was in 7th grade. He said she was the cutest girl in class. Howard said that Colonel Tom would jingle his keys and he'd be entertained for hours. Robin said they'll never get to the bottom of Elvis. She said he's infamously entertaining. Howard kept going with the impression. Fred was up to the fourth song by this point. Howard was singing and talking about the dopey things Elvis did.
Howard said he could go on but it's enough of this. He said that colonel Tom was a bad man. Robin said you do wonder about that relationship he had with his mother. She said that she died when he went into the military. Howard was talking about how Elvis would rub that mound on the back of her neck. He was making up kooky stories about drinking ranch dressing out of a flask he carried with him.
Howard said Colonel Tom would steal his nose and distract him. He said he'd take his nose and threaten not to give it back unless he signed his contract.
Elvis said he loved that fat on his mama's neck. He said he thought it was his dead baby brother that died in utero.
Howard said enough again. Robin said you get stuck in that voice just like the guy who played him. Howard said that's right. He still couldn't stop doing the impression. He was still going on and on with the wacky stories from Elvis.
Howard took a call from a guy who was calling from California. Howard said they've been having a lot of weird weather out there. The caller said that it is pretty crazy out there. Howard said his friends tell him to move out there all the time. He said he hasn't been out there in 3 years. He said he really should get out there. He said he talks to his wife about that. He said one of his daughters lives out there.
Howard asked the caller what he had to say. The caller said everything about Elvis these days is really out there. He said that they're making it seem like he was a good guy but he was really weird. He said that he comes across as a closeted god hates fags kind of guy if he was around today. Robin said he was a weirdo. She said he did take a 14 year old girl home with him.
Howard said from a musical standpoint he's not that great. He said he honors the singer/songwriters. He said that if you believe what they say about him he just took other people's music and slapped his name on it. Robin said people saw the real Elvis before Colonel Tom clipped him and had him singing Blue Hawaii.
The caller asked how he got federal clearance from Nixon. Robin said Nixon was a weirdo too. The caller said that there's a movie on Amazon that's really good. Howard said Nixon was the first thing he goofed on in college. He said he had a guy named Bruce who did his Nixon character. He said he'd talk about praying with his rabbi and things like that. He said Nixon was anti-Semitic. He said they used to do Nixon with Fred too. He said he thanks god for Nixon because they were able to be funny with that character early on in radio.
Howard said Elvis wanted to be a karate expert and they would give him a black belt after a week. He said it should have taken years. He said they just wanted to be associated with him. He said people do the same thing for him. He said they just want to please him. He said it's like Elvis' black belt was made of licorice. He said he wouldn't have known any better if they gave it to him like that.
Howard said he can't stand when anyone worships anyone else. He said he doesn't get it. The caller said that everyone gushes over the guy. He said everything about him is glowing even though it's not deserved.
Robin said he did design his own outfits. She said Howard says he never did anything on his own. Howard said he wonders if he ever got any blow jobs from any guys. He said he was almost Liberace with the outfits he wore. The caller said he did usher a lot of women away from him. He said his entourage was getting the women. Howard said he won't say anything about that but it was kind of odd.
Howard said he's not sure what he was grappling with. He said he was taking all of those pills.
Howard, as Elvis, told the caller, Kyle, that he doesn't like him disparaging him. He spent a little more time in character with the caller. He let him go a short time later. Howard said maybe he was just jealous of Elvis. He said the guy dated a 14 year old. He said think about that. Robins said imagine that was his daughter. Howard went into his Elvis again and had him asking out his daughter.
Howard said it's unbelievable that people just give in to that. Robins said it was known too. She said that he took this 14 year old in and no one said a thing about it. Howard said they do that in Afghanistan and they went to war over it.
Howard and Robin talked more about the Priscilla thing. Fred was playing more Elvis music and Howard was going on and on about Priscilla.
Howard asked if you can imagine what the guy was doing and now they're making movies about him. He said he's not going to watch that.
Howard said he thought it was odd that Will Smith put out some statement about it that he was very embarrassed. Howard said he's not sure what it was. Robin said he did say he was embarrassed. Howard said he should be. He said he humiliated Chris on TV. He said Will went up and bitch slapped Chris in front of America. He said millions of people were watching that night. He said Chris was bullied for many years of his life. He said he has been slapped himself and he knows how emasculating it can be. He said Chris didn't punch him back. He said he was slapped and he had to go off and deal with this fucking bullshit. He said if it was The Rock or someone like that Will would have sat down and not done a thing. He said that he saw Chris up there and he knew he could kick his ass so that's what he did.
Howard said Chris did what he does best and came up with his material. He said now he must be glad that Will is embarrassed. He said that the dude had to get his swagger on. He said he basically did. He said he had to do something. Robin said Chris stood there doing his job on the Oscars and Will walked up and tried to knock him out. He said Chris went over and really took that slap hard. She said that he had to settle himself and go on with his job. She said Will never considered how Chris would handle it. She said he did what he wanted to do.
Howard said he blind sided him. Robin said Will has no right to talk about he feels. She said he got to do what he wanted to do and now Chris got to do what he wanted to do.
Howard said the sad thing is that people will forget what Chris said about Will in his special but they will never forget that image of Will slapping him. He said that's going to live on forever. He said he thought to himself that the special was going to be a full hour and a half about the smack. He said he was curious about the whole thing. He said that he can see real comedy coming out about what you do after that and so on. He said he could see him riffling on it for over an hour. He said Will got off easy as far as he's concerned.
Howard said he sees now that Chris hangs out with Chappelle and guys like that. He said some of the guys are comedians and some look like body guards. He said Chappelle was attacked on stage as well. He said Chris must get some comfort from hanging out with those guys. Robin said she's not sure about that. She said Chappelle has been hanging out with Will Smith as well. Howard said he didn't know that. Robin said she heard about it. She said some people are keeping their feet in both camps. Howard said as someone who tries to be funny for a living he doesn't like what Will Smith did. He said he'd tell him that to his face. Robin said that Chris considers things before he does them. She said he thinks about it.
Howard said he liked the special a lot. He said he was laughing the whole time. Robin said he had a lot of great material. She said she was on the edge of her seat waiting for the Will Smith stuff. Howard said his only critique is that he didn't need to do the mic drop and put his arms up.
Howard read a quote from Rock about what Will's wife did to him by talking about cheating on him on a podcast. Howard said that was a weird thing.
Howard said he was watching this Trump stuff and what might happen with this indictment. He said that you can't follow the legal discussions about it. He said Michael Cohen went to jail for this thing and now some people are saying that Trump may not get arrested for the same thing. He said it seems to him that someone committed a serious crime there. He said that Cohen went to jail for it. He said he did like a year in jail or something. He said it is just crazy.
Trump said he has a new nickname for Ron DeSantis and it's Ron DeShithead. He said it's not an easy name.
Howard asked if he's worried about being indicted. Trump said he's not and it's just a bunch of jealous legal nerds. Howard asked if he's innocent. Trump said that he is totally innocent unless it's illegal to have a giant hog between his legs.
Howard asked Trump what he thought about the Oscars. Trump said that they were really bad and it was the biggest waste of time since he sent Eric to college. He said the only thing about the show that was not woke was the audience. He said it was a total snooze-a-rama.
Howard asked Trump what he thought about Jimmy hosting. Trump said he's grown soft and pathetic and he used to love him. He said he's the worst Jimmy in late night. He said he should have been the host himself. He said he could be the non-Jewy Billy Crystal. Howard said people would tune in for that. He said he's right about that. Trump read some jokes he had written for hosting the Oscars.
Howard went through some of the hot chicks at the Oscars and asked fake Trump about them. Fake Trump had thoughts on everyone and most of them were terrible. Robin called him out on that.
Howard asked about Lizzo and Trump said that she's so big that she is not just a woman but she's ''women.'' Howard played him off like he was at the Oscars. They closed the fake door on fake Trump a short time later.
Howard said he's going to take a break. He said they are back live this morning. He said he was having so much fun on vacation with his root canal and he just had to come back. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and said he loves this song so much. He said it's The Cult. He said the lead singer was perfect. He said the band was great too. He said he wondered what happened to them. He said they should have been big. He said he feels like not a lot of people were into them. He said they should have had more of a following. He said the lead singer died he thinks. Robin said she thinks so. Howard said he's not sure. He said they should have been bigger. He said the lead singer was Ian Astbury. He said he's actually alive. He just read that. He said he thought he had died. He asked where that band is now. He said every song is good. He said he puts their music on and he has like 20 songs on his playlist that he plays while he's painting. He said they should have been huge. He said people don't pick up on the same things he does.
Howard said that he was watching American Idol. He said he's surprised that Katy Perry and Luke Bryan are into each other and kind of ignore Lionel Richie. He said it's very strange. He said that he's very sensitive to this stuff he sees on that show because he was a judge on America's Got Talent for a few seasons. He said that they all goof around on the show. He said he didn't want to do that stuff on America's Got Talent. He said he was watching Lionel trying to insert himself into this conversation that Katy and Luke were having and they just leave him out. He said he gets hung up on that.
Howard said he thinks Katy would be fantastic in bed. He said he thinks she's very hungry for a very good time. He said he gets that vibe from her. He said he gets weird vibes. He said that he used to think he was a little attractive when he was younger but he has hit the wall and he's going through it now. He said he went through the windshield in a car that hit a wall and he's passing through the glass now. He said he won't get a face lift though. He said he will look like a woman. Robin asked if there's something wrong with that. Howard said there is when you're a man.
Howard said he really thinks he looks like shit. Robin said he is very hard on himself. She asked if he can't take someone else's opinion on that. Howard said no. He said Beth has to have sex with him. He said she has to kid herself somewhat. He said he's out of shape too. He said he has a belly but he's thin. He said there's a belly in the middle of the skinny. He said it's over for him.
Robin said she thinks he looks fine to her. Howard said thanks but he thinks he's built like E.T. He said he was super skinny but had a belly.
Howard said there's some good TV shows. He said there's something on Hulu. Gary said it's called Tell Me Lies. Howard said that show is so good. He said Robin may not like it. He said there are kids in college who have secrets and they have sex. He said one of the Van Patten kids is on the show and she's very good looking. He said she's so sexy and hot on it. He said he loves college, secrets and fucking. He said it's Grace Van Patten. He said the guy who plays the lead is good and that's Katey Sagal's son.
Howard said the other show that's great is The Last Of Us. He said that's a great one too. Robin said she hasn't started that yet. She said she's watching a lot of tennis. She said there's a 19 year old boy who is just amazing. Howard said he doesn't watch tennis. He said there's something going on with basketball and he had no idea. Robin said it's March Madness. Howard said he had no clue.
Howard said his wife says that he's like her best girlfriend. He said she loves it. He said when he has to kill a spider he has to call in his wife. He said he has no time for anything else because he's watching so many other shows.
Howard said there's a great documentary coming out about Reggie Jackson and he's going to stop by on Wednesday to promote it. He said Reggie is so awesome in it. He said it's great to watch him smacking home runs. He said he loves that guy.
Howard said he tried to watch that movie ''Everything Everywhere All At Once'' and it was bad. He said he doesn't get it. Robin said she tried to watch it and wasn't able to get through it. Howard said this movie is so fucking bad. He said that he thought he hadn't seen it but he did try watching it and it was not good. He said he thought it was something that would be up his alley but it wasn't. He said you start watching it and he got through maybe a half hour of it and it was so fucking bad that he had to stop. He said he had no idea what these people were talking about. He said he was thinking that he was in the bizzarro world. Howard said he has this short window of existence and he can't waste his time on things like this. He said his parents fucked and had him and somehow with the miracle of luck he was born into existence. He said when he's dead that's it. He said he's not going to exist for the rest of eternity. He said he was watching this movie and not having fun. He said these people are crazy. He said they kept giving them award after award. He said he doesn't get it.
Robin said they capsulize it and say it's like putting your mother in The Matrix. Robin said that's bullshit. Gary said they say it's the most above the line Oscar win ever. Howard said he that he's glad The Whale won something.
Howard said the Jets need a good season. He said he hopes this works for them. Gary kept going with his thoughts on the situation.
Mike asked if Robin was strumming her banjo in bed to the Jake Gyllenhaal pictures that came out recently. Robin said they were amazing. Howard said he saw them and he's amazed at how he did that. He said that he tried to get into that shape at his age and it didn't work. Howard asked if Robin strummed her banjo to them. Robin said she did not. She said she was only able to spend a little time looking at them.
Howard took a call from a guy who was trying to explain the Everything Everywhere movie and his phone was cutting out so Howard let him go.
Howard said he saw Jamie Lee Curtis being interviewed and she said the most wonderful thing. Howard played a clip where Jamie Lee was talking about bands doing matinee shows instead of at night. Howard said she has a point. He said he'd like that. Howard said 2 o'clock would be perfect. He said he could get up at that point after a nap and go see the show. Robin said she has seen a matinee concert and they're the saddest thing you can go to. Robin said not everyone who is of her age is like her. She said they can't lift their heads. Robin said they might be sleeping during the concert.
Howard said he loves all of those bands she mentioned and he'd love to go to a Bruce concert but he can't stay up that late.
Howard said he's in a panic about his daughter's wedding. He said it's starting at 7pm. He said he asked her to do it in the afternoon. He said she asked him if he can suck it up for one night. He said he can but he's going to be tired. He said kids don't know what it is to be 100 years old. He said they don't get it.
Howard said he and his wife like to walk for 3 or 4 miles and halfway into it he has to pee. He said they walk so slow. He said old people pass them. He said they can't figure it out. He said they think they're moving fast and people keep passing them. He said he sees people who drag one leg walking faster. He said that he doesn't get it.
Howard said he was thinking about wearing a diaper when he walks. He said he can't get to the bathroom and he has dribbles. He said he puts tissues in his underpants. He said that soaks it up. He said it's like having panties in there. He said he had some pads that he bought to put in there. He said the tissue moves with his penis better though.
Robin said Howard has come up with a product and he has to perfect it. Howard said he has a patent in the works. He said he can call them Manny Pads. He said it's not a good day when you decide to just piss your pants. He said one day he had to piss outside. He said he had to have his wife be the lookout for him. He said he had to pee. Howard said he's feeling his age. Robin said things are getting worse faster.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he couldn't agree with him more on that movie. He said it took him all day long to get through it. He said he kept stopping it. He said he and Howard are about the same age and he should go out and pee in his fenced in yard. He said he goes out with the dog to do that. Howard said that's not what his problem is. He said he had to go pee and he was away from the house. Howard said this guy is scaring him. He hung up on him and said he's a fucking weirdo.
Howard did an impression of that guy and talked about going into his back yard to shit and things like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this pissing thing is too much. He said he just pisses where he has to piss. He said he's going to have to piss out the window next. Howard said he was watching the show Mayor of Kingstown last night and he had to go pee every 10 minutes. He said when he was younger he never had to pee. He said his doctor told him to drink more water but he can't do it. He said it's insane. The caller said he has to be aware of what he's drinking so he doesn't have to piss all the time.
Howard said he could go pee right now. Robin said old people are dehydrated because of this. Howard said he's in the same boat as the caller. He said that they say when you have an enlarged prostate that you can't empty your bladder completely. He said that's why you have to go so often. He said it's crazy.
Howard said he has some things to play. He said he has Ralph's Oscar Thoughts. He answered a knock at the door from fake Gene Simmons who said he loves the idea of Manpons. He said they're already available at KissOnline.com. He got in a plug for the fake product that he just stole from Howard. Howard let him go.
Howard said Kiss was on the show before the break. He said people were excited about that. He read some feedback from some people about the interview. He played some clips too. Howard had some audio of Sebastian Bach talking about the interview with Eddie Trunk.
Howard said the fans wrote in about a bunch of things. He didn't get to all of that stuff but said they did write in. He said they have a lot of nice feedback there on some of the stuff they ran during vacation. Howard said with the Kiss thing it was nice to have them on the app and all of that.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said he loved the interview with Kiss. He said he really got them to open up. Howard cut him off and said thanks for calling in. Robin asked why he picked up on him. She said there was a call a few weeks ago where Bobo actually asked a good question. Howard asked what that was. Robin said she can't remember it now but it was good. She said she remembers thinking it was a good conversation. She said this is just boring today. Howard said Bobo had to get in with that. He said it was an emergency call.
Howard said a lot of people were outraged by the red carpet color. Howard played some clips of some people commenting on the color of the red carpet on news programs.
Howard said Ralph may be outraged about the carpet too. Howard played a clip and Ralph was talking about how awful Laverne Cox is on E! with the red carpet stuff. Ralph also complained about the color of the carpet. He was going on and on about that and about the person doing the sign language. He said they can do the subtitles and not have that going on.
Howard said even the deaf people took a hit there. Robin said Ralph is so off about that. She said that they have to change the music between awards and again to commercials.
Howard said he has more of Ralph's Oscar thoughts. He said this is part 2. In that clip Ralph said that Jimmy was great but his suit didn't fit right. He said he changed jackets and that second one didn't fit either. He said he should help with that. Howard cut the clip off and asked who cares.
Gary brought up the woman who had the giant hat in the audience there. Howard said he didn't care. He said he's glad she had that on. Robin said they don't care about other people so it's not surprising. Howard said Ralph had over and hour and a half of thoughts that they cut down to the short clips.
Gary said they left out some crazy major people from the In Memorium thing. He said they left out Anne Heche, Paul Sorvino, Tom Sizemore and Robert Blake. Gary said he thought that Jimmy mentioned him as a joke earlier in the show.
Howard said the Paul Sorvino thing they're right about. He said he should have been included. He said some of the others are questionable because of things they may have done in their lives. He said they have to have this whole thing. Robin said they can do away with that. Gary said they had people in there who are barely known and they leave out people who are very well known. Robin said they never have anyone who is
Howard said they asked Ronnie to rate Michelle Yeoh. He played a clip of Ronnie talking about her and how he isn't into her. He said she looks older. He said that she looks good for 60 when he found out her age. Ronnie said she's so skinny. He said he likes women with some meat on them. He said he's rate her a 7 though.
Robin said they had Michelle on the show years ago. Howard said she's right. He said that movie had no merit though.
Howard said Ralph made an offensive comment about the sign language guy so now that guy is on the line to complain about that. Howard took the call from the fake sign language guy who had issues hearing them and slurred his voice.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has issues with going to the bathroom at night. He said he drinks either water or iced tea. Howard said it's an enlarged prostate and that's a part of getting older.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and said this is beautiful. He said it's the fabulous Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam. He said he's not sure what he's singing about but it's beautiful. He said Eddie told him watch the song was about and he wrote it thinking about the Gulf war. He said as far as he can hear it's just nonsense. Howard said it's a great song either way.
Howard said he was thinking about the people who died while they were off. He said Gary Rossington died and he was the last living member of Lynyrd Skynyrd. He said he's going to say a few words about Gary. Howard talked about his days at WRNW and how he used to play Lynyrd Skynyrd there. He said he wanted to seem cool. He said as the Program Director there he was in charge of playing the Sunday morning religious programming. He said he would play the same thing every Sunday and no one called in to complain. He said that means zero people were listening. He said it didn't matter what they played.
Howard said even the DJ in charge of putting the record on didn't listen. He said he didn't complain about it being the same album. He said no one gave two shits.
Howard said he was a bad JD and a bad Program Director. He said that people would ask him to add records to the playlist and he'd just say yes. He said that he felt bad for these guys.
Howard said he was making a whole $96 a week over there. He said that he thinks the whole station sold for $300,000. He said it was bought by some brothers who didn't care about radio. He said they were in real estate or something. He said the guys would come in for a meeting and ask what they were doing. He said he would bullshit them about the research they were doing. Howard said that was the guy who told him that they wanted to do weather music. He said they wanted to play sad music on rainy days and happy music on sunny days. He said he told him that was brilliant. He said he never did anything about it.
Howard said he's not sure what he would have played differently. Robin said how about the songs that don't talk about weather. Howard said they could play Phoebe Snow on snowy days. He said the guy loved the idea.
Howard said it was good to do all of that there. He said he got experience doing that. He said he's not sure what they're up to over there now. He said he thinks the station is still around.
Howard said it was fucking crazy and here he is now today. Howard said getting back to Lynyrd Skynyrd he played them when he worked at WCCC. He said they were in Southern New England and he had no idea what that even was. He said that's apparently why they played southern music. He said that's what he was told to play so that's what he played. He said he had to write down what he played. He said it was a pain in the ass. He said he had to write all of this down. Howard said he would play Freebird a lot because it was so long. He said there were long Zeppelin songs he'd play too. He said he played Stairway to Heaven and that was long. He said even that wasn't long enough.
Howard said Gary Rossington died. He was 71. He said that he was the last surviving member of the band. He said that he wrote some of their songs. He said he wrote the riff for Sweet Home Alabama but didn't play it on the record. He said that's fucked up.
Howard said Gary played the slide guitar on Freebird though. He played some of that. Howard read more details about what Gary went through in the past few years. He said he was also on the plane that killed a bunch of his band mates. He said he almost died in a near fatal car crash. Howard said that crash led to being inspired to write ''That Smell.''
Howard said he thinks that all bands should write 10 minute long songs. He said that someone will play it.
Howard said Tom Sizemore died too. He said he was a very troubled guy. He said he had battled drug addiction since he was like 15. He said he dated Heidi Fleiss and he told then about his drug addiction in an interview with them. Howard said maybe it's not the best way to remember him but he has a clip. Howard played the clip where Tom talked about his addiction.
Howard said rest in peace Tom. He said he told him that he tried to use a fake penis to pass a drug test. He said the urine wasn't warm enough so he failed the test.
Howard said a guy named Chaim Topol died too. He said he was in Fiddler on the Roof. He said his mother would play the music from that musical and he would walk around the house singing that.
Howard said they had every fucking show tune on in the house. He said his parents were always playing the music from Damn Yankees. He went through that nightmare story and what the musical Damn Yankees was about. He was singing songs from the musical and how his dad would sing them to his mom and it upset him. He was singing all of these songs he heard as a kid. He said rest in peace Topol. He said that he saw the play on Broadway at some point. He said Topol wasn't in it though.
Howard said Richard Christy went 6 days without changing his socks and they wrote a song parody about that to the tune of ''If I Were A Rich Man.'' He played that song parody.
Howard said Robert Blake also died at the age of 89. He said he remembers him from Baretta and some other things. He said he was good on talk shows because he was so angry. He said he was kind of a scary dude. He said they had him on the show back in 1993 and he was excited to have him on. He said he would watch him on shows and he loved him on talk shows. Howard played a clip from an interview he did with Robert and he threatened to walk off the show. He said that he doesn't want him to treat him like that and let him answer questions without interrupting him.
Howard said he's lucky to be alive after that. He said that was scary. Robin said maybe they discovered something there with him saying he never put his hands on anyone. She said maybe he didn't do what they say he did to his wife. Howard said he didn't get convicted of that. He said they just weren't able to prove he did it. He said it was kind of an OJ situation there.
Howard said Robert Blake didn't have to do jail time but his career was over at that point. He said that he went out and wrote a book in 2012. He said he gave an interview to Piers Morgan that went off the rails. Howard played some audio from that where they talked about the death of his wife.
Howard said he definitely sounds like an innocent man in that clip. Howard said the only other person who died was drummer Jim Gordon who killed his mother in 1983. He said he was in prison since then and he worked with Derek and the Dominoes. Howard played some of the stuff he did for that band. Howard read some details about his life and played some of the songs he was involved with. Howard said he had a fucked up life. He said he played with a bunch of bands.
Robin asked if they should be commemorating him if he killed his mom. Howard said that's a tough call because they didn't know his mother.
The caller said most journalists don't get to do interviews like that over time. He said Howard also listens very deeply. He said that Howard is very good at pivoting too. Howard said Jerry Seinfeld talked to him off the air once and said he can't come back on the show because he did the best interview of his career and he can't top it. Howard said it's not about topping it though. He said he wants to talk to Jerry about more than what they've talked about. He said he thinks they could have an equally interesting conversation. He said Jerry did come back in and they had a great conversation. He said it is something they can do. He said it's more intimate as they get to know each other. He said it's an interesting process.
Howard said after he talked to Gene Simmons about his childhood he was thinking about how if he gets to talk to him again he'd get into it even deeper. He said that he'd like to talk to Paul Stanley too. He said he and Paul spoke after the show that day and he spoke to him for over 2 hours. He said it was one of the best experiences he's ever had. He said he had him on his cell phone. He said he asked him some stuff about art and they were just talking. He said he thought he'd be sick of him at that point but Paul seemed to enjoy it. He said that he thought about how great that was. He said this conversation would have been so great on the air.
The caller said it's crazy to him that he can do that. Howard said he had a conversation with someone he interviewed and he did that off the air. He said he had the person over to his house for dinner and it was such a great conversation that he thought it would have been great for the air. He said that's the beauty of it. He said that you can have people on multiple times and do interviews.
Howard said he was talking about this Prince Harry and how they made a phony phone call with him. He said that he was talking to Gary about this guy and how there's something new going on with him. He said he's managed to stay in the news all this time for nothing. He said he doesn't get it. He said it's unbelievable that there's constant stuff going on with him. He said they made a Prince Harry audio book thing and made a call with him. He said they take the audio books and cut them up. He said it takes hours and hours of work to do this. He said they're delighted when they get to do it though.
Howard played the call where they had Prince Harry audio book call a religious radio show. In the clip Harry asked them to pray for him and his family. He said that his brother is bald and they like to laugh about that in the family. They were praying for the guy and praying for them to get his brother a weave or something. They had him curse and the hosts weren't too happy about that. They eventually hung up on him.
Howard said he has more Prince Harry audio book to play. Robin asked what else he talked about. Howard said this was a lot of work. He said this is a minute long and it's a lot of work to make that happen. Howard said this is him talking about his life. Howard played the clip and it went on and on with Harry talking about his wife keeping his balls in her pocket book and things like that.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was more Prince Harry audio book stuff. They had him talking to Howard about how ugly he is. They also had him cursing out Howard. Howard said he wasn't prepared for a fight. Robin said with all of this in the book she may have to read it. Howard went back and forth insulting the clips for a few minutes.
Howard also talked about what Oprah told Harry and Meghan about going to the coronation of Harry's father. Howard said she told them to do what they think is good for their family. He said that's no advice. He said it's like saying ''whatever floats your boat.'' Howard said his mother always told him what to do. He said he has the spine of a jellyfish because of that.
Howard said Harry should have come to him for advice. He said he would tell him that he should absolutely go. He said he can live in a castle. He said they have everything there. He said he'd ask him what the problem is, you fuck. He said he'd tell him to just go back. He said he's a stupid ass. He said his wife isn't interested in him if he's not in that family.
Howard said Oprah should have told him he's useless if he's not back over there in England.
Howard said if you want advice come to him. He said give your father a reach around and grovel. He said you have nothing else going on. He said get back in their good graces over there. He said they give you millions of dollars.
Robin said even when they say bad things about them they still give it to you. Howard answered another knock at the door and it was Prince Harry audio book again. Howard went back and forth with that for a couple more minutes.
Robin said she thinks he would say it's Pete Buttigieg. Howard said no. He said he wouldn't win. Howard said he thinks people would love this guy. He said Zelensky won over in Ukraine. He said that people loved him over there. He said that over vacation he was watching a ton of this one guy. He said he was watching this guy debate all kinds of people. He said he goes back years. He said that he came off brilliantly. He said his name is Jon Stewart. He said that this guy is so bright and smart and witty. He said he knows how to talk and you know he'd work his ass off. He said he thinks he could win too. Robin said he gave up the Daily Show because it was too much. Howard said he thinks he owes it to this country to run. He said he's putting it out there. He said he told this to a couple of friends. He said they wanted him to call Jon first. Howard said he doesn't operate like that though.
Howard said he thinks that Jon should run and he won't accept Trevor Noah in place of him. He said he wants Jon in there. He said this guy is so good at debating. He said he used to debate Bill O'Reilly and people like that. He said he's very good with politicians. He said watch the guy. He said he makes a lot of good points. He said that's it, he's putting that out there. He said he wants Jon to come on and accept the nomination. He said that he will back the guy. He said he can't give money though because he has to be neutral on all of this.
Howard asked JD what he thinks about this. JD said he doesn't think Jon is interested in running. Howard said he thinks he'll do it if he asks him to. JD said back in July of last year he said he's not interested. Howard said he knows what he has to do. He said he should run with Bradley Cooper.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Arnold Schwarzenegger who said he wants to run. Howard said he can't because he wasn't born here. Arnold said fuck all of that. He said he thinks he would be good. Howard spent a minute with him before closing the fake door.
Howard said Jon would be so good. He said he should run. He said he'd be a good president.
Howard took some calls and asked what people think. A guy from Florida said he can't agree with him more. He said he'd be amazing at the job. Howard said this is a guy in Florida so that's a swing state. The guy said he's originally from Baldwin. That guy's phone connection was bad so Fred played some drops of a Geiger counter to recreate the sounds. Howard said it's like a metal detector sound.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who his favorite Peloton instructor was. Howard said it was Hannah Corbin. He said he used to tell his wife he was going to be with his girlfriend when he'd go to work out. The caller asked if he cares about the score he gets. Howard said not really. The caller asked if his bike is calibrated. Howard said he doesn't care that much. He hung up on the guy.
Howard spent a little more time talking about working out and watching the hot instructors. Howard said he'd like to start a company like that and have instructors who talk about how good the sex was with their spouses and stuff like that. He said he's sure he's perverting the entire process of what Peloton had in mind.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he can imagine a Jon Stewart and Donald Trump debate. Howard said that's what he means. The caller said he can just imagine Trump sputtering and looking like an imbecile. Howard said anyone debating Jon would look like an imbecile.
Howard said he has a clip of a Peloton instructor talking about her husband. He played that clip to show how boring it was when these instructors talk about their husbands. He said don't talk about your husband.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake Trump again saying he would kick Jon Stewart's ass so hard Stephen Colbert would feel it. Howard said he doesn't think so. Howard spent another minute with fake Trump talking about all of that.
Howard said they did enough show and he deserves another 3 weeks off. He said they will be there tomorrow and Reggie Jackson will be on Wednesday. They ended the show around 10:30am.
Howard said he's trying to be more positive so he's doing a gratitude journal. He said you write down what you're grateful for. He said he's taking after Oprah. He said he was grateful for doctors. He said he wrote that down in his journal. He said he had this horrible situation with his tooth and he was able to get it cured by the dentist. He said he's walking around like a human being now. He said it's a great thing we have people who are able to fix things like that. He said he went and got his tooth fixed. He said the guy who does the root canal is an Endodontist. Robin said she had it done so she knew that because she's had a root canal done before.
Howard said he's wondering if Oprah took Ozempic. He said she's gotten skinny. He said he wants a full investigation. He said he has been spending a lot of time on various web sites looking at celebrities who have gotten very thin. He said that there was this one woman who got really skinny on the Real Housewives show. He said it's actually two. He said people are saying they took Ozempic. Howard said they claim that's not true. He said he's looking into it himself and wondering if they did that Ozempic. Howard said there's a whole theory that it makes your face look old when you use it. He said then they go tot he plastic surgeon.
Howard said he's so grateful to doctors. He said that he had to get that tooth fixed and he feels fine now. He said the problem he had with the antibiotics is gone now too. He said a lot of people take for granted what they can do.
Howard said he was talking to his Endodontist about root canals and they go back to Egyptian times. He said he's not sure what they did in the civil war times. He said they just sold you an elixir or something. Robin said there's that movie with Tom Hanks and his soccer ball and he knocked his own tooth out. Howard said you'd go insane otherwise. He said he saw the Three Stooges once tie a tooth to a horse to pull it out. He said it was Moe's tooth. He said Moe ended up getting dragged for like a mile.
Howard said the pain he had was like a headache all day long. He said now he feels fine again. Robin asked what happened in Egyptian times and why that knowledge went away. Howard said he's not sure what they did. He said it's kind of amazing. He said that they really have to dig in and drill. He said he didn't feel a thing when they did his. He said it's amazing. He said he almost fell asleep in the chair. He said his jaw hurt but that's about it.
Robin asked if they put in that thing that isolates the tooth from the rest of your mouth. Howard said yes it's called a dental damn. He said that he did take one Vikodin but he really didn't need it. He said some people are babies. Robin said she thinks about Tom Arnold and his addiction. She said that she has taken Vikodin and it didn't really work for her. Howard said he talked to his doctor about that. He said it can relieve pain like a Tylenol does. He said if you don't have pain then you get addicted to it. He said that's when Tom had trouble shitting. He said he's been constipated himself. He said he was shitting tiny pellets and now he's off of all of that and he took a big doody yesterday. He said this morning he was 3 and a half pounds lighter this morning. He said he was at 196 and now he's 193.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Tom Arnold (Craig Gass) who was just staring at him. Howard said he's just staring at him. Howard asked what's going on. Fake Tom said he was really nervous. He said that this is a slippery slope and he's going to end up blowing guys at a 7 Eleven. Howard said he only took one Vikodin and he didn't blow anyone after. Tom said he took one single 14 pound shit a few weeks ago. He said the shit's become addictive. Howard let Tom go after a short time talking about that addiction.
Howard said that's a good impression. He said he wants to hear more of that. He asked what they can talk to him about. Robin said he may have more drug stories. Howard got fake Tom back on to talk about that stuff.
Howard asked fake Tom about Roseanne doing a stand up special and things like that. He asked if that triggered him. Tom said that watching your ex is a trigger for him. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said Robin gave him an Oprah gratitude journal. He said he went online to see what it cost. He said it was over 27 dollars. He said that he was so livid that he threw it away. He said that you don't need that for 27 dollars. He said you can buy something really nice with a leather cover for less than that. Robin said it won't have her guidance in it though.
Howard said he follows Oprah on Instagram. He said she's over in Jordan right now. He said this Gayle King is in her life too. He said whenever Oprah needs her she's there. He said that Gayle has the gig of a lifetime and she's able to go on adventures with Oprah. Robin said she wondered about that and if she has her schedule to know when she needs time off.
Howard said that if he were Gayle he'd put more time into CBS morning news than into Oprah. He said he knows a woman who hangs around with famous people because she loves it so much. He said Gayle has a great gig with that morning news thing. Robin said she's the star. Howard said she has to go with Oprah to Jordan though. He said she must have it in her contract that she can do that. He said she runs right off with her. She must have a bit Oprah signal in the sky.
Howard said Gayle and Oprah are both out there on camels in Jordan. He said they're wearing big outfits covering them up from the sun. He read some comments they posted on their Instagram accounts.
Howard said he's not sure why Gayle would drop everything for Oprah. JD said Gayle is on CBS right now so she's back from whatever trip she was on. Howard said he saw it just a day ago. He said she must have gotten back. Howard said she must be exhausted.
Robin said that Gayle is at all of Oprah's dinners. Howard said that's what he's talking about. He said she's always there. He said she should do CBS This Morning from Oprah's house. He said he doesn't think that Stedman goes on the trips. He said it drives him crazy that people run to her and just go with her. He said here must be some kind of money making thing going on. He said this is going to ruin Gayle's career. He said he may have to call her and help her. He said he has met her many times and she seems very stable and very bright. He said he's not sure what Oprah did to her. He said she drops everything for her.
Howard said he's not sure why Oprah went to Jordan. Robin said she did say something about it being 2023 and not 2020 now so she's having adventures. Howard said he's consumed with her. He said he follows her on Instagram.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she was watching her as well and she's skinny as hell. She said she may be doing what Robin did. Howard said she might be right. He said she could be doing that. Robin said she could be. She said she is going on adventures now too. Howard said he's going to lock them all up.
Mariann said she's not going to buy Oprah's magazine because it's $12.99. She said it's too much. Howard hung up on her.
Howard read some of the things Oprah has been posting about Jordan. He said people get on him about not traveling. He said even his psychiatrist. He said he gets on him about not going around to see the art out there. He said he was told about this art in Italy that's called the Afeces. He said people feel bad for him not going out. He said he was thinking about it and he has done things that other people have never done. He said they need to travel because they need to see things. He said he has sat in a chair and talked to David Letterman. He said he has done pay per view specials and made a movie at 40 something years old. He said he has spoken to millions of people. He said this Afeces isn't going to excite him. He said he had Bruce Springsteen play him a personal concert and they played it on HBO. He said he doesn't need to travel.
Robin said she has experienced all of that as well but she still likes to travel. Howard said he knows. Robin said she was going to tell him that this is not the only place you can be happy. She said you can go somewhere else and feel a sense of home. She said then they take up residence in that new place because it becomes so special to them. Howard played a song parody about Robin.
Howard said people travel to see him. He said he's a destination. He said Robin goes places and she ended up in Jersey. He said so much for that. Robin said she knows people who have had that happen.
Howard said he knows people who have been to Jordan and they're not that excited about it. Howard said he's been to Florida. He said he has traveled.
Howard took a call from a guy who said there are a lot of people who think they know what the other person needs. He said only you can remember everything you've been through and what you need. Howard said Washington DC is a place he lived in. He said it's one of the top places to visit. He said he sat in his apartment and did nothing other than do his radio show though. The caller said it's been a long time since we've had this much global disarray. Howard said this guy knows there's nothing to see.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake George Takei who said that he would travel and learn how to say things. He corrected him on the Afeces thing. Howard and George went through some other words too. Fake George was correcting him on things he didn't need to be corrected on.
Howard let George go and closed the imaginary door on him. He took a call from a guy who said his family is from Jordan and it's the most Western friendly country there is. He told a story about a fighter pilot who was downed there and they were going to fight back against Isis for them. Howard said that country is near Israel right? The caller said it's not too far. Howard said this guy knows but he's living in California. Howard said Jordan is considered more liberal because they only throw their gay people off 2 story buildings. Howard thanked the guy for the call and let him go.
Howard said when you're asleep they do stick a camera up your ass but you don't know. He said when he woke up he was propped up in a chair. He said he has no idea how he got there. He said that they must have wheeled him out and propped him up in their chair. He said he had some drippage from his ass so that was kind of embarrassing.
Robin said she read a report about her operation and she saw that they changed her positions constantly and she never wanted to see those people again. Howard said they must have had a good laugh when they moved him around.
Howard said he's sure that a few people took pictures. He said that's his worst nightmare.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw The Bachelor last night. Howard said he did. The caller brought up some of the stuff that was happening on the show. Howard said this Bachelor is a weirdo. He said at the end he has three girls. He said they're nice looking but you know they're nuts being on that show. He said they're all panicked knowing that they don't have a husband yet at the age of 25. He said they're worried that they're going to get old and no one will want them. He said this guy knows and he won't fuck any of them in the fantasy suite because they'll get mad if they know what happened. He said he said he's not fucking. He said then he goes in with one girl and they slept in the same bed. He said they didn't fuck but they slept together. He said then he goes with the second girl who is really kooky. He said he has never seen anyone who is a bigger train wreck. He said she's crying and carrying on. He said she's a handful. He said he fucked her in the fantasy suite. He said now he's feeling all guilty about it. He said you don't want this guy running around saying you're a mistake.
Howard said they could keep it quiet and not talk about it. He said this guy has some weird conscience and he breaks down and tells the third girl that he fucked the second girl. He said that she gets upset with him over that. He said the second girl was going to keep it a secret but then this guy blabs about it. He said these guys are such douche bags. He said this guy narrowed it down to two. He said he has to keep the girl he fucked. He said now he's stuck with her.
Howard said this guy is not a player. He said if you fuck then you just play it cool. He said he got rid of the girl with the big tits and didn't get to fuck her. He said this guy is one of those medical sales guys. He said they give you half the country to sell antibiotics to doctors in.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Donald Trump who was going off on this bachelor and how he's not banging any of these chicks. Howard said Donald fucked Stormy Daniels and gave her a pay off. Howard said he's the man. Donald said that's why he's here. He said the hot tub at Mar-A-Logo is full of his jizz. Howard let Donald go a short time later.
Howard said he's watching The Bachelor and this host Jesse is talking about what they're going to do on this live show. He said they have this black chick on named Charity. He said she's really hot. He said he's not sure what this guy's deal is but he didn't pick her. He said he should have picked her. He said she has some body. He said this guy Jesse says he's going to walk to this Charity's room and tell her she's the next Bachelorette. He said that he was watching this with Beth. He said Jesse walks in and tells her this news and he got goose bumps. He said Beth did too. He said that he found the right woman. He said it's so embarrassing. Robin said this show moves him. Howard said his wife is upset that he got her into another season of American Idol too.
Howard took a call from Michael Rapaport who asked if they've always called it sex week on that show. Howard said no. He said this Bachelor, Zach, is a douche bag. He said he was the one who was calling it sex week. Michael went over what Howard had just talked about with the girls he was picking. Howard said he already talked about that. He said that he would have banged all three and kept it a secret. He said he wouldn't marry any of them. He said if you're in love you don't fuck them all.
Michael said he was on hold yesterday for about 15 minutes. He said it was his birthday. He said he went to his mailbox and got nothing. He said he was hoping to get something. He said his producer was on vacation and he came to the studio and risked it all to do the Wrap Up Show. He said he had to pay to get there and he doesn't get it. Howard said happy birthday. Michael said fuck that, it's a day late and a dollar short. Howard said that's all you get. He let Michael go after that.
Howard said he's in the Bachelor fantasy league and he hasn't paid into it yet. He said the staff is upset about that.
Howard said these reality shows drive him crazy. He said the 1000 Pound Sisters is another one he watches. He said one of the sisters is married to this guy who can barely speak. He said they had this nice thing going. He said they're both obese. He the guy can't speak. He said they're two people who found each other and they were having a life together. He said good for them. He said then this Amy gets pregnant and has a baby. He said she got pregnant again and now she has two kids. He said she doesn't clean the house and it's a mess in there. He said the two of them were fine on their own but now she's upset about her husband sitting on the couch playing video games. He said she complains about that and she's mad about it. He said he read they just got divorced. Howard said they had no business having kids. He said he goes crazy from these shows. He said they were perfect together until they had kids. He said now they're divorced.
Robin said now there are two kids in a mess. Howard said he wishes them luck.
Howard said the guy was an original. He said they had so many huge hits. He said this one song ''Sex Machine'' was so good. Howard had Fred play that. Howard said he made so many women not cum to this. He said it brings back a lot of bad memories.
Howard asked Fred what the first song on the album is. Fred played the song ''Stand!'' and then the next song in the album and it was one hit after another. Howard said here was one clunker in there. Howard said this was some album. He said this guy was a musical genius. Robin was singing along with some of the songs.
Howard said Sly was Prince before Prince was Prince. He said this was some album. He said he thought that Prince was very much like Sly and the Family Stone. He said they're in the rock and roll hall of fame too. He said they were inducted in 1993.
Robin said she was reading that Joe Perry saw them live and he was blown away by them. Robin said there was a story about how Sly wouldn't show up to shows and he only did like 27 of 80 some dates they had.
Howard said he read that Questlove is making a documentary about them. He said this guy was a genius. Fred was still playing song after song from them. Howard said they had a lot of hits in there. Robin said she was amazed that he's still alive and 80 years old.
Howard said that was just warming up for the band. He said that stuff just came out of him. He said he spent an hour yelling at Richard Christy to get that drum part right. He said this one won't even be on the album. He said that's a track that didn't make it. He said he wrote that on the bowl. He said he's so prolific with music. He said he sings into a tape recorder to get this stuff down. He said this is him talking into a tape recorder. He played a clip of himself singing Metamucil Man. It was completely different than the song they created. Howard said that's called genius.
Howard played another clip of him talking through how he wanted the song to sound. He said a lot of work goes into that. He said they don't have a producer because a producer would just fuck things up.
Howard played more behind the scenes stuff where they had Howard singing his lines. He said he sounds like Beetlejuice. He played some audio of Beetlejuice singing in the studio. Howard said he has more respect for Beetle now that he's been in the studio. Howard played a commercial parody for a special for the Tuchus band.
Howard said Steve is good with his attention to detail. He said they came out with a list of the best guitar players of all time. He said he told Steve they have to make them controversial. He said that Steve was upset with Eddie Van Halen coming in fourth. He said he told him that they do that on purpose. He said that Jimi Hendrix and Eddie Van Halen are the two best guitar players of all time. He said Jimmy Page is the third. He said that Brian May should not be at the top. He said he's a great guitar player but he isn't the best of all time. He said he plays with a quarter. He said he is a great guitar player. He said he said to Steve that the greatest guitar player to ever live was Jimi Hendrix. Steve said he thinks Eddie should be at number 1. He said he was a game changer.
Howard said Steve is very young and he doesn't know what happened. He said that Jimi was the game changer. He said he's right about Eddie but Jimi was the original guy. He said he has to listen to him. Fred said he does because he will get kicked out of the band just like him.
Fred was going with Jimi as the best of all time. Fred and Steve argued a little bit about that. Howard said he thinks that Eddie could be at number 3. He said that it's all in that range.
Steve said he thinks that Eddie took it all to a different level. He said Eddie was a better song wrier. Howard said out of all three of them is either Hendrix or Jimmy Page. Robin said Jimmy is amazing. Howard said he might be better than Jimi Hendrix. Fred said he's a sloppy player but a great riff writer.
Howard and the guys were going around in circles. Howard had Steve play some Van Halen stuff and explain why he thinks he's the best. Howard said if you get into all of that then why not Tom Morello. Steve said he should be in the top 10 for sure. He said he does things that no one does with a guitar. Robin said she's not sure he knows as much as he thinks he knows. Steve said she could be right.
Howard read a list from Guitar World about who the best players of all time are. He went through a bunch and asked Fred what he thinks. Fred threw out a few more names like Prince and Billy Gibbons.
Howard said that he's not a guitar player but Eric Clapton is great because he has a clean quality. He said that might be what makes him such a virtuoso. Fred said he's taking Clapton of the list because of the racist stuff and the vaccine stuff that's come out with. He said he's based his career on 3 years of playing with Cream and he hasn't done much else since then. Howard said he's not sure about this back story but he's talking about guitar playing. Steve said that Clapton was game changing for Eddie Van Halen.
Howard said what about the guy from the Allman Brothers Dickey Betts and Pete Townshend. Gary said they're on the list. Howard said he loves arguing with people about these lists. Howard asked about Ted Nugent. Fred said he's good but not as good as he thinks he is.
Howard said he loves Lindsay Buckingham. He brought up Angus Young and others. They were going over the list and talking about all of these great guitar players. Howard had Steve play some AC/DC stuff. Howard said Steve is good. Fred said he's great.
Howard said Neil Young is great too. He had Steve play some Woodstock. Steve got some of that down. Howard asked about Mark Knopfler. Gary said he's at number 12. Howard said Bruce is very underrated too. Gary said he's not on the list. He said Steve Perry is at number 25. He said he means Joe Perry.
Howard brought up John Mayer and Gary said he's not on the list. Steve said he is incredible. He said he doesn't know any of his music though. Howard wanted to hear something but he didn't know any of his songs.
Fred said that they never include any country players on these lists. Howard said Chris Stapleton should be on that list. Fred said Brad Paisley is great. He said there are others who are great guitar players. They talked about Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman. Howard sat and thought about Nicole for a few seconds.
Howard said how about Gary Clark Jr. He said he's great too. Steve did an impression of Steve Vai playing guitar over his head. Howard said he has never had a big hit song though. Fred said that he's kind of like Eddie Van Halen but you think of Eddie first. Steve said he has done some really cool stuff with his guitar. Fred said that Eddie was able to write songs while Steve isn't able to do that. He said he can do tricks with his guitar but that's about it. Howard said Fred is on fire this morning. He said he has to put this genie back in the bottle. Fred was still naming guitar players. He said Glenn Campbell is another one. He said he was great and Eddie wanted to get lessons from him. Howard said that's enough of this. He said it's just enough.
Howard said Steve is over there getting upset about Guitar World and their list. He said they do it on purpose to get people like him riled up. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and said this is Susan Tedischi from Tedischi Trucks Band. He said this song is a John Prine song. He said it's a great song and you'd never know that John Prine could write something like that. He said it's pretty amazing.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's a graduate student and she's looking for some advice on getting into some environmental studies. She said she's an adult student at 42 and she went into a different avenue because she was tired of what she was doing before. Howard asked if she was a stripper before this. The caller, Pam, said she was a fitness professional before. Howard said that's basically like stripping.
Howard asked what she wants to do. Pam said she wants to help better the world. She said she sees she has a narrowing field to go into at her age. Howard said he's not sure but it sounds like a job that pays no money. Pam said she's talking about environmental studies. Howard said that's people who pick up plastic on the beach. Pam said no those are environmentalists. She said that's not what she's talking about.
Howard asked if she's hot. Pam said yes. Howard said now she's talking. He asked how hot she is. Pamela said that she's told she looks like Anne Hathaway. Howard said she's the hottest. He said that's a great look. Howard said everyone should look like that. He said she should be a Peloton instructor so he can look at her every day. Pam said no way. She said she already did that.
Howard asked Pam about how tall she is and what her cup size is. She said she's 5'7'' and she has a B-cup because she works out every day. Howard asked if she gets wet easy. Pam said she odes. She said she's married and her husband has about 8 inches. Howard asked when she saw that for the first time if it was too big. She said she didn't. She said that he likes to give a lot of oral so she's always grateful. Pam said she had never orgasmed from sex before him so it was amazing.
Pamela said she had the chance to work with the East Palestine thing but she didn't want to work in toxic environments. Howard said that's not the right way to think about that. He asked if her tits are real. Pam said they are. She said she's not on Facebook or Instagram or anything. She said Howard is her religion. She asked if he has any suggestions for what she can do. Howard asked why she doesn't speak to her parents. Pam said there are a lot of reasons. She said they're big Trumpers and vaccine deniers and things like that.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Mel Gibson who was telling her that she can get on her knees and blow him. He was huffing and puffing and going off on her about all of that. Howard closed the door on him and got back to Pam.
Howard asked if Pam wears a bikini. She said she does and she'll wear a thong on the beach. She said she used to live in Miami so she was used to it. Howard said imagine this. He said she looks like Anne Hathaway and she would run around in thongs. Pam said now she's in Ohio and she has to wear sweat pants. Howard said she's so hot she probably doesn't need to work. He said that it's not all it's cracked up to be to make a difference in the world.
Howard asked what her husband does. Pam said he does web development and things like that. She said that he provides very well and that allowed her to go to school.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that she's so fucking hot she doesn't really what to do a job that's a job. He said she had a perfect in and she could do environmental clean up and she didn't want to do it. Pam said there's no way she's doing that. Ralph said she could have found someone to help her find another job. He said she should have gotten out there.
Howard said he's not sure what to say. He said she got into something she really doesn't want to be into. He said he has to go. He wished her luck in figuring it out. He said send some pictures so they can see what she looks like. He said they have to verify.
Howard said the guys wanted to do an experiment. He said Jon Blitt posted an ad on Craigslist and people responded. He said they found a woman named Cassandra who is gorgeous. He said she's a very good looking girl. He said Sal didn't know anything about her. He said that her looks have nothing to do with the story.
Howard said Sal did a reading with this woman and you can decided if he's a real medium or just a bullshitter. He said that Sal did this over Zoom. He said he had his eyes closed the whole time. He said he got into his trance and did his stupid fog thing.
Howard played the clip and Sal was asking if she believes in the other side. She said yes she does. Sal asked about seeing a big white tent or something. He said that he thinks there's a wedding in the works. Cassandra said she's actually separating from her husband. Sal said maybe the white tent is that phase in her life being over. She said she is going through a transition. Howard said see what happens. He said even Sal can do this. He said it was a wedding but now it's a divorce.
Howard said Sal is doing okay at this point. He said he had a vision of a woman and described her to Cassandra. He said at first she didn't sound familiar but then she changed her tune. Howard said this is what happens in psychic readings. Howard played more of the interview and Sal brought up this lady he was seeing. Cassandra said she could be her ex's sister. She said she never met her though. Sal asked if she passed away. Cassandra said she did. Sal said there we go then.
Howard said at one point Cassandra got emotional about this reading she was getting. Sal told her about someone who was in her life that passed away. Sal said she's almost alive to her husband. He said he sees her incorporating her into his life. She said he has a tattoo of her on his back. Sal said she didn't have to tell him that but okay.
Howard said Cassandra mentioned that her father passed away and asked Sal to contact him. He said Sal had no problem doing that. Howard played another clip and Sal told Cassandra what he was getting from him. He said it's not much but he says something about her being a lot like him and she can get through this. Sal said that he saw a fishing pole in his vision. Cassandra said he loved to fish. She said that came up during his funeral.
Robin said now she has to have Sal read her. Howard said he loves the voice Sal puts on. He asked why he has so much pain. He said he's in constant pain.
Howard said Cassandra asked her dad for advice on work. He said Sal's visions got less and less specific. Howard played another clip where Sal was trying to contact her dad and find out about the job thing. Howard said Sal sounds exhausted in that clip. He was putting on this weird voice. Sal came up with some stuff about her job and Cassandra was going along with it.
Howard did his impression of Sal doing his reading. He brought up stuff that was very vague and told Robin what to do with that information. He said Sal's bullshit is working.
Howard said Sal's next vision was about a white dog and Cassandra said she has a white dog named Alfred. Sal said he's really cute. Cassandra said he got her through some really tough times. Howard said these two should hook up. He said the bullshit clock is right twice a day.
Howard said this girl is really cute. He said she has a white dog with her. He said Sal ended the session and saw Cassandra for the first time. He asked if he was surprised at how hot she was. Sal said she was smoking hot. He said it was unbelievable. He said he was blown away. Howard asked if he boned up. Sal said maybe.
Howard asked if he masturbated after that. Sal said he did not. He said he has to take this seriously.
Howard said this is Sal giving some advice and then sees her for the first time. Howard played the clip and Sal was giving her advice on what to do and how to love herself like her dog loves her. Sal said that she has to look at herself the way her dog looks at her. Sal said he hopes that he helped. He got to see her for the first time and said she has that big smile.
Howard did an impression of Sal doing his thing with Cassandra and had him talking dirty to her.
Howard said after the session they asked Cassandra about her reading. Cassandra felt like he did a good job and she was crying over the stuff he said about Alfred. She said Sal was helpful and he's helping a lot of people. She said that he has something there and it's helpful to people and it's a gift. Jon Blitt was asking her questions about the reading and asked what she would write in a review and things like that. Howard said he would thank him for nothing. He said Sal didn't really say anything to her. Robin said that he basically said that everyone was in the dog. Howard said it's like the movie where the guy went into the dog. Robin said it was The Shaggy Dog. She said at the beginning was the big tent thing and that was great. She said that Sal saw the tent and then she said she was divorcing and Sal changed his tune. Sal said it all made sense.
Howard said he loves the breathing thing Sal does. He played a montage of his breathing and moaning.
Howard said he has the gift of not breathing properly. Robin asked what that noise is. Sal said he's not even sure. He said he has no recollection of that at all.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked for a reading from Sal. Sal said he's not picking up anything from this guy. Howard asked Sal to just get into it. Sal said he'll try. Sal said that one of his friends passed away in his 20s. He said he may have been somewhere around 27 or 28. the caller said he did have a friend who passed away in his early 20s. He said he thinks this is bullshit though. Sal said he was a good friend to him. He said he was very fun and jovial. He said that he's getting his face and he sees a guy with brown hair and smiling. He said he's glad Leo called in. Leo said he had black hair and brown skin but that's close. He said that he's very emotional here and you can tell that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if people would be less into this if they knew Sal was into piss porn. Sal said he won't lead with that. He said this guy should be his manager.
Howard took a call from a fake psychic hotline guy who was doing an impression of Sal's voice with the breathing and moaning stuff.
Howard said imagine you die and it turns out there is an afterlife and you get stuck talking to Sal. Sal said people don't even want to talk to him alive. He said imagine being dead. The caller asked Sal to do a reading with him. they were both doing the breathing thing together.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Sal is such a dope. He said he's just picking up on what he's heard from the people he's gotten readings from. Howard said of course. He said Sal has said he wants to be more like a dog and he's projecting that on this woman. He said the dog thing is his own fantasy. The caller said Sal wants to be something he's not. He said he's not special at all. Howard said he's right. He said everyone wants to be Superman. He said Sal wants to be special and he has nothing. Sal said it's the opposite. He said he's not looking for that. He said he didn't even want to do this. He said Blitt asked him to do it. He said he begged him to do it.
Howard said Sal had a horrible experience in high school and he got beaten up by a girl. Sal said it was very traumatizing. He said he went to a new school and it was the middle of the school year. He said he didn't know anyone. He said this girl said to him that she wanted to fight him after class. Robin laughed. Sal said this girl wanted to fight him and she called him names for not wanting to fight. He said class ends and she put up her arms to fight him. He said she planned this out with some guys and they would get on their hands and knees to trip him. He said she would walk him backwards and he'd fall over. Howard asked if this is his origin story for why he does the things he does. Sal said he got tripped and he got up and then tripped again. He said they all laughed at him and that was very traumatizing. He said it really fucked him up.
Howard said the point is that Sal was humiliated and now he wants to be recognized this is where they're at. Sal said this wasn't his idea.
Howard played a clip of Blitt talking to Sal about the psychic thing and how he isn't at the full level with this stuff yet. He said he's like on the third floor.
Howard said Sal sounds like he's talking about Scientology with the levels. He said it sounds very confusing.
Howard said on the phone is Sal's bully who wants to say hello. He took a call from the woman who said she should slap the shit out of Sal some more. Sal said okay. The caller said she didn't even chip a nail. She said she sees a guy with hair plugs crying over there in her vision. Howard said she clearly had a traumatic effect on his life. Howard spent a little more time talking to her about all of that.
Howard said he heard Sal is upset with Kiss right now. Sal said the tickets are very expensive to their final shows. He said that he has spent a lot of money on their stuff but tickets are 10 grand for front row. He said that it would be nice if they had discounted tickets for the fans.
Howard congratulated Sal on his psychic abilities. He said Jon Blitt did this for Sal. He said that Samantha and Jon believe he has real powers. Robin said she doesn't believe that Jon believes in anything. Howard asked Blitt what he thinks. Blitt said he thinks Sal is honing his powers. He said this was his first attempt and he should keep doing it to fine tune it.
Howard said Samantha seems very intelligent and he has respect for her and she says this and he loses respect for her when he hears this. Samantha said she can't talk about it with him then because she wants to keep his respect. Howard said he knows she gets defensive with this. He said that he wants to know what she's feeling. Samantha said she wants to know if her job is safe with this conversation. Howard said of course. He said he won't hold it against her.
Howard asked why she thinks Sal has powers. Samantha said she thinks that Sal is tapped into something. She said that Sal is a very spiritual person. She said she is friendly with him off the air. She said she's very close with him off the air. Howard asked if she sees something there. Samantha said yes. Robin asked how it manifests itself. Samantha said she can get into it but she can see Howard's face now. Howard said she was once a 10 and now she's a 2.
Howard asked if Sal contacted anyone for Samantha. She said that Sal was doing a reading. She said she has to get her shit together right now. Howard said she's crying. Sam said that Sal was doing a reading of Leslie West. She said that her dad is dead and she hates talking about this. She said Sal was talking to Leslie West and they believed that he was communicating with her father. She said Leslie said something about taking a guitar out of the closet. Sal said he saw what he thought was Leslie West and it fits her father. He said that he saw a guitar in a closet being locked away and take it out and display it. He said it turns out that Sam put her father's guitar in the closet and tucked it away. He said she thinks he may have been talking to her father instead of Leslie West.
Sal said that when he saw this vision he thought it was Leslie and it was actually Sam's father. Howard said he can see the dead too and he can see a white dog right now. He asked if Sam has a white dog. Sam said she has a black and white dog.
Sal said that he saw a green ball in the closet too and that's in Sam's closet door. Howard asked if Sam knows anyone who died in their mid 20s. Sam laughed. Howard asked if she had anyone die in their mid 20s. He said that's why he's getting this message. He said he sees that she had a fortunate life that she didn't lose anyone. He said he sees someone in their 30s. She said she did lose someone in their 30s.
Sam said that she did find a note from her dad that she didn't know about in her father's guitar case. She said Sal also saw these green meditation balls.
Sam said she asked for a sign from someone who died. She said she didn't want a regular bird so she closed the door and laid on her bed and this hawk landed on a branch in New York City. Howard asked the guys to keep Sam away from him when he goes back to the studio.
Howard said he sees a straight jacket in her future. He said he can't believe that she's a follower of Sal and his cult. Robin asked how long she's been asking for signs. Sam said that it's been a few years.
Blitt said he thinks Sal could help people around the world with this stuff. Sam said the signs thing is just comforting to her. She said she's not a nut job. Howard said for those listening you're watching someone dig their own grave right now. Sam said she has some stones too. Howard said he heard about that. Sam said Robin has them too. Howard said he saw them over there and had her get rid of them. Sal said Howard threw those stones at him.
Howard said he's not sure about Sal but he sees something dead and it might be Sam's career. He asked what the stones do. Sam said they make her get grounded and chill out. She said it gets rid of the craziness. Howard said John Hinckley Jr. had stuff like that.
Sam asked if Howard believes in any of this. Howard said not at all. He said they all know that Valerie Harper gave him a word before she died so if they found someone to contact her then they'd have to know that word to prove they were getting in touch with her. Howard asked Sal to get in his trance right now and tell him the word. Sam said Howard will get that word from someone some day but it won't be Sal right now on the radio.
Sal asked if the word is broken down into two words. Howard said he's not saying a thing. Sal said if it's one word then it can be one thing and if not then it can be another. Howard asked Sal if he's talking about syllables. He asked if he knows what that is. Sal said it's AEIOU and sometimes Y. Howard asked how many syllables there are in Apple. Sal said zero. Howard said he's going to fire him. He said what a moron. Sal said there are three in restaurant. Sal was still sticking with the apple having zero syllables. Howard said he's a moron.
Howard asked Sal to go into his trance and talk to Valerie Harper to get that word. He said he'll save Sam's job. Howard said Sam follows a man who has no idea what a syllable is. Sal said he knows what it is.
Sal said he's getting a tree. He said that might be why apple was there. He said the word he's getting there is apple tree. Howard said that's two words. He said it's just one word. He said it's one word and Sal came up with two. Sam said Sal is making them look bad.
Blitt said that Sal is new to this so this is tough for him. They played a song parody about how dopey Sal is.
Howard said he has a woman on the phone who says she's a real psychic. The caller, Pamela, said that she isn't a psychic and she felt like she might know the word that Howard is talking about. Howard said if she knows it and she's right then he'll tell her. Pam said it's Baboon. Howard said that's not it but how many syllables are in that. Sal said there are two.
Howard said his favorite memory of Sal is that he thought he had a 3.9 average in college and it wasn't a 3.9. Sal said it was close.
Howard said he thinks he's pretty smart and Sam has to get deprogrammed. Sam said she's not completely whacked out. She said she asks for a sign from time to time. She said she knows that Howard and Robin have gotten signs. Robin said she doesn't believe in a higher power but once in a while she will pray. She said she has nothing better to do so that's what she'll do. Howard said his father died and he won't send him a sign. He said he didn't talk to him when he was alive.
Jason said Sam is downplaying this a little. He said she defends Sal a lot in the office. Sam said they're dicks about it so of course. She said Sal is vulnerable.
Robin asked why psychic Sal sounds just like Sal. Robin said if you're in another state wouldn't you have more knowledge than Sal has. Sal said he did sound different. Robin said he can't speak to anyone who speaks French. Sal and Sam said they can answer that. Howard asked why that is. Sam said she's not sure about that. Sal said when you're in the spirit form it's a universal thing. He said it can conjure up emotions. He said it's the same with animals. They were ignoring a knock at the door for a while.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was Sam's psychiatrist being played by Wendy the Slow Adult drops. Howard asked her some questions about Sam and her following Sal.
Howard said what a fucking show. Sam said she thinks Sal is trying to people please on the air and he shouldn't do that. She said he doesn't have to prove anything on air. Sal said he's acting as a professional and doing what people ask of him. He said he's doing his best. Sal said he has no plans to continue this.
Howard took a call from a woman said she's enjoying this today. Howard said he is too. The caller said that it was great with Sam doing what she was doing. Sam said she dint want to disappoint her boss. Robin said that Sam actually secured her job today. Howard said now he's afraid to fire her. Sal said if Howard kept him all these years then she's a shoe in.
Howard asked Sal if he thinks he has a gift. Sal said not at all. He said he just has a belief in the afterlife. Howard said Sam thinks that he has a gift. Sam said that he's downplaying it. Sal said if he believed in it then he'd be tapped into it too. Howard said then Sal thinks he has a gift. Sal said he doesn't. He said he just believes in the afterlife. He said anyone can tap into it. Blitt said he doesn't think that's the case. He said Sal has a gift and he has to come to terms with it. Howard said he thinks Sal is tapped into complete stupidity.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has to join the church of Sal. He said that they're crazy not going along with this. Howard said he has to sum this up. He said he has to get out of there and get to some stuff in his real life. He said he's not in some magical world here. He said there's a lot of people who are broken and looking for answers. He said that some look for it in reality and some don't. He said that there is no such thing as contacting dead people. He said Houdini proved it years ago with his wife. He said he proved it today with Valerie Harper. He said that the only thing Sal has done today is drain him of his energy. He said when you die you get buried and get eaten by worms. He said that's the end of it.
Sam was trying to argue with him but Howard asked her to repeat after him and say ''All we are is dust in the wind.'' She said she can't do that. Howard said we're just like ants. Blitt said Sal can contact ants too. Howard said Sam's bonus this year will be electro shock therapy. Howard had her sing with him to the turn of ''Dust in the Wind.''
Howard wished everyone luck. Sam said that it was nice while it lasted. Howard said he really has to get out of there.
Howard said Reggie Jackson will be on tomorrow. He wrapped up and ended the show around 10:00am.
Howard said Ronnie's new thing is that he's sending out a lot it AI chicks. He said he may not even know that they're not real girls. Chris Wilding said that they think his eyesight might not be the best. He said that they see these women who are AI and he may not see where they're coming from. Howard said they're computer drawings of women.
Howard asked Ronnie how women can compete with those AI women. He said they're drawings. Ronnie said he doesn't tweet drawings. Howard said he does. He said he has some examples.
Howard showed Ronnie some pictures that were AI. Howard said this is AI stuff, not real girls. Ronnie said he doesn't give a fuck. He said they're hot. He said he doesn't study them. He said if they're hot he doesn't give a fuck. Howard said they're drawings though. Ronnie said he doesn't care. Chris said it's not fair to the other girls. He said he tweets out a lot of MILFs and GILFs so it's not fair to the other women.
Howard said he thinks Ronnie should only tweet out real women. Ronnie said he'll study it better. He didn't do that. Howard said who knew.
Howard said Ronnie and Study have never been used in the same sentence. Ronnie said he hasn't studied in a long time.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Tom Arnold who said he's concerned about this. He said when you're jerking off to bugs Bunny then there's a problem. He said next thing you know you're getting blown in a Denny's parking lot.
Howard said Ronnie could stop tweeting entirely and not put out anything. Chris said it's been a lot more lately than ever. He said his phone blows up when it happens. Howard asked why he's doing so much lately. Ronnie said he's not doing anything different. He said a lot of people are bailing out of Twitter anyway. He said it seems like it to him Howard said he gets a lot of notifications about Twitter. He said he just ignores it.
Howard asked if Ronnie is upset about the wedding coming up. Ronnie said it's way over budget. Howard asked what's going on. Ronnie said the list got out of control so it's his fault. Howard said he saw that he invited everyone from the radio station. He asked who is on the list. Ronnie said it's not everyone. He said he doesn't even have the list. Howard asked if he wonders why he invited some people. Ronnie said anyone he invited he really wanted to invite. He said there are some that he wanted to and he can't.
Howard said he heard he wanted to have a welcoming party and that got out of control. Ronnie said that's not out of control the guest list is. He said everyone who is invited to the wedding is invited to the party. He said most of them are from out of town.
Howard said it's like having more than one wedding. Ronnie said it's not. Howard said he heard he's going to have a hot tub at the party. He said that's gross. Ronnie said it's outside. He said it was already there. He said he can't stop that. Howard said he would never get in that water. He said it's gross.
Ronnie said Blitt will be right in the hot tub. He said he wanted to get in his back in December. He said the water was like 44 degrees in the pool and he got in the hot tub and then jumped in the pool. Howard said he pictures Blitt as a guy with dirty feet. Jon said not at all. He said he gets a pedicure every few weeks. Howard said he pictures him as very hairy. Jon said he's really not that hairy.
Howard said he has been to homes where everyone jumps in the hot tub and it's gross. He said there's no way he's getting in a hot tub with Blitt. He said he heard he takes his shoes and socks off at concerts. Blitt said he does if it's outside. Ronnie said he takes them off in your house too.
Howard said imagine you go to the wedding and there's a hot tub there. Ronnie said it's not the wedding dude. Howard said imagine Richard gets in that hot tub. He said there are guys who don't clean their asshole. He said they're going to use the hot tub to do that. Ronnie said Howard won't get in it so don't worry about it. Ronnie said he's not getting in it either. Howard said it's so gross.
Howard asked Ronnie why he's so excited about the party. Ronnie said it's all going to be fun. He said they're not going to have any strippers or anything. Howard said Richard will take like 7 smelly shits and then get in the hot tub to clean out his feces. Robin said all his dead skin will be in that hot tub. Howard said you'll see shit floating to the top. He said 2 days later everyone will have pink eye from the hot tub.
Howard asked why Ronnie is so tired this morning. Ronnie said he's not. He said Blitt is making shit up. He said he started his bullshit this morning and this is what he got out of it. He said that Blitt asked him if he would fuck Howard in the ass. Blitt said he was asking if he would do it to save his life. He explained what the story was there. Howard asked who cares. He said that's why Ronnie got annoyed. Blitt said he got annoyed because he asked what he did last night. He said Ronnie told him not to worry about it.
Ronnie said he didn't go out last night. He said Blitt just thinks he did. Howard said that's the funny thing about Ronnie. He said he will make it seem like he did something but he didn't. Ronnie said he's trying to drum up shit. He said now he did and it's a whole fucking deal. Howard asked why he's so upset.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked why he's still talking to this old fuck. The caller, Carrie, has called in before about Ronnie. Ronnie recognized the woman and called her an broken down old bitch. Howard said he heard that Ronnie will walk out of the room when Stephanie brings up the wedding. Ronnie said sometimes he will do that.
Howard let Carrie and Ronnie go at each other for a minute. Ronnie was goofing on her and she was making fun of him.
Ronnie mentioned that Elvis will be performing some songs at the wedding. Howard said Ronnie sand Elvis both married younger women. He said that's why Ronnie is having Elvis marry them.
Howard asked if Ronnie is spending over 100 grand on this wedding. Ronnie said he's not sure yet. Howard said uh oh. Blitt said that Ronnie gave Stephanie carte blanche on the wedding. Howard asked if that's right. Ronnie said Blitt is such an asshole.
Blitt said that they have a wedding planner. Ronnie said Stephanie has a wedding planner. He said he met her just once. He said he's not involved with her. Howard said he's confused. He asked who this Brian guy is. Ronnie said that's the helicopter dude. He said that's not the wedding planner. He said he is helping. He said he knows a lot of people in Vegas. Howard asked if he needs a wedding planner. Ronnie said he doesn't but she does.
Howard asked what kind of food they're serving. Ronnie said all kinds. Howard asked if it's in a restaurant or a catering hall. Ronnie said he's not giving away shit. Ronnie said they're having food stations there. He said they'll have all kinds of food. Howard asked if they're going to have a taco station. Ronnie said maybe. He said maybe to a lot of things.
Howard said it's no wonder he's spending so much. He asked if it'll be a DJ or a band. Ronnie said it's a DJ. He said they've been interviewing DJs the past week or so. He said the party is going to be piped in music. He said there won't be a DJ there.
Ronnie said Howard doesn't have to come. He said he can just check off ''will not attend.'' Howard said he may have to do that. He said he's still freaked out by the COVID thing.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was Sal doing his Elvis voice talking about this wedding. He said that Ronnie will be living ''in the ghetto'' after this wedding. He said he can't help ripping off Ronnie. He was singing to the tune of Elvis songs. He was joking about the young wife and how he got 'Cilla by waving some money in front of her.
Howard asked Elvis how many syllables are in Elvis. Elvis said it's getting foggy up there in heaven so he has to go. Howard let him go. Robin said psychic Sal doesn't know either. Ronnie said there is no Sal that knows any of that.
Howard asked if Ronnie thinks Sal is psychic. Ronnie said he's going to have him do readings at he wedding.
Howard said there's your update on Ronnie's wedding. He said he doesn't mind being married but he doesn't want to go through he ceremony. Blitt said he doesn't want to be observed.
Robin said ChatGPT will do his wedding vows for him. Ronnie asked what the fuck she's talking about.
Howard asked what kind of questions you ask a DJ when you interview them. Ronnie said they want you to make a playlist and that's ridiculous. He said if you're a DJ you should pick the songs out. He said they should create their own deal. Howard said these guys should be in charge. He said that's it. He said they shouldn't be pulling that shit. He said they're trying to set you up to take the blame for the music. Ronnie said they have it down to two different ones and they should be great.
Ronnie said they're not doing cake cutting or the garter shit. He said they're just going to have a party. Ronnie said that he's not going to be part of the shit that Blitt gets going there. He said he can do whatever he wants though.
Howard said he was thinking of the old O. Henry stories and how Ronnie may have to go back to work after spending so much on this wedding. He said do not hire a DJ that makes him pick the music. He said he can just imagine that music. He played some old Pennies from Heaven stuff.
Howard wished Ronnie luck and said he's in a better mood now. Ronnie said he's in a great mood now. He said enjoy your day. Howard said Mr. Romance there.
Howard took a call from the Mad Russian who hasn't called in for many years. Howard said he hasn't heard from him in 20 years or something. He said he thinks he was from Ukraine or something. Howard asked if he was there. He wasn't answering. Howard said he sounded like Peter Lorre. He said he disappeared for a long time. Howard asked if he was there again and he didn't answer. Robin said they'd love to talk to him. Howard said not really. He said maybe Putin cut his phone line.
Howard said there are a few things he wants to talk about. He said he wants to talk about Priscilla Presley. He said her parents basically gave her to Elvis when she was just 14 years old. He said she was handed off to him. He said that would have been very traumatic for a 14 year old. He said it's very strange. He said he thinks that her father was a military guy and Elvis walks in and asks to take his daughter and he's okay with it.
Howard said he has love for Priscilla Presley but he doesn't understand what happened there. He said what's going on now is that Priscilla's daughter Lisa Marie died. He said she has a daughter named Riley Keough. He said she's cute as fuck in ''The Girlfriend Experience.'' He said she was hot in that. He said that can get your blood boiling. He said she showed it all but not the VJ. He said that Lisa Marie dies and Priscilla is still alive and Riley is around. He said Lisa Marie left the estate to Riley. He said now he's reading that Priscilla is trying to go to court with Riley to get the estate from her. He said that she thinks her daughter's inheritance should go to her instead of Riley.
Howard said he's not sure why Lisa Marie would leave Graceland to Priscilla. He said she left it to her daughter Riley. He said she has other daughters but she left it to Riley.
Robin said she has other daughters with the newer husband. Jon Hein said they're 14 year old twins.
Howard said that they're claiming that Priscilla thinks that Lisa Marie signed something that doesn't look like her signature and she's claiming Riley shouldn't get this inheritance. Howard said it's really lame to do that. He said this is your granddaughter. He said he feels for Priscilla but come on. He said that he would want something of Elvis' too if he had to have him on top of her. He said this is not good. He said Priscilla was great in The Naked Gun movie. He said Reggie Jackson was in that too. He said he has to talk to him about that later when he comes in. He said he was really good in that. JD said he's right about that. He said it was something in his watch that made him need to kill the queen. Howard and JD went over that scene in the movie. They ended up arguing about what happened. They were correcting each other about what happened. JD was cracking up explaining the scene. Howard said that movie was so great. JD said Reggie was really built in that movie too. Howard said he had some power when he was playing. He said he was a big guy. Robin said he was very solid. She said he had it all. Howard said he's a real man.
Howard said he's just upset about this Priscilla thing. He said it's weird to him. Robin said the whole thing is weird. She said they've had weird lives.
Howard said Trump is the one who said he was going to be arrested and they all believed him. Robin said he's telling everyone what stories to cover.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Trump who said he's so excited to be back in the news. Howard said he read that Trump has been happy about this arrest and how he wants to do the perp walk and all of that. Howard talked to Fake Trump about all of that for a few minutes.
Howard said he was thinking about Melania and how she's dealing with the payoff thing with Stormy Daniels. Fake Trump said he hasn't seen her in about 3 months. Howard said Trump seems to be happy that he'll get booked. Trump said he'll be in the news cycle for the next 6 years. Howard said most people would be upset about him getting arrested but he has a positive attitude about it. Trump said he's making lemons into lemonade. Howard let him go a short time later.
Robin asked if Biden should pardon him so he doesn't have this platform. Howard said no way.
Howard asked how old he is. Mad Ukrainian said he's 60. Howard asked if he's 60 or 61. Mad Ukrainian said he's 61. Howard said you have to be honest with people to be a journalist. Mad Ukrainian said he didn't lie. He said he had a birthday during the war so he didn't count that.
Howard asked if he's healthy enough to be over there. Mad Ukrainian said he is. He said he's very slim and very active. Howard and Mad Ukrainian went back and forth talking about if he should be doing this or not. Howard said if he's really hell bent on going over there then go for it. Mad Ukrainian said he's looking to help both Biden and Zelensky. He said he's trying to focus his attention on what's going on over there and what the Russians are doing to Ukraine.
Howard said he heard that he doesn't have money for a bullet proof vest or anything. Mad Ukrainian said he's working on getting money for all of that. He said he needs a few things like a helmet and things like that.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake President Zelensky who was upset with this whole thing. He was pleading for him not to come over there. Mad Ukrainian said he would stay if this was for real. Howard said this is real alright.
Howard said he has to say something. He said he likes this guy. He said Ukraine is very dangerous right now and he's 61 years old. Mad Ukrainian said he's lived a full life. He said he has nothing going on so he wants to help Ukraine. He said this isn't a bit. He said he's passionate about it. Howard asked what he's going to do if one of these young Russian soldiers attacks him. Mad Ukrainian said he can only get killed by a missile or a bomb. He said they will have the press protected over there. He said it's not a free for all.
Howard said the Russians are raping people over there. He said Mad Ukrainian is in good shape. He said he could get raped. He said he has to be careful. Howard said he's with the people of Ukraine but he's not going anywhere. Robin said if Howard went there he'd just be in the way. Howard said that's right. He said Mad Ukrainian is going to be in the way too.
Howard said Mad Ukrainian is going over there and he can call in from the front line. Mad Ukrainian said he'll put the videos up for them to download and play. Howard said don't get yourself killed over there. Mad Ukrainian said he can't call from the front line. He said he will have a GoPro with him over there. Howard wished him luck over there. Mad Ukrainian said thank you very much if he actually means it. Howard said he does mean it.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake President Biden who told Mad Ukrainian that he wants him at the front lines tomorrow. He said he wants him out of this country as quick as possible. He said that's his thing to get out of here as soon as possible. He said he supports immigration except when it comes to this guy.
Mad Ukrainian said that he has a redneck accent. He said he sounds like he's from King of the Hill. Howard said he might be right about that. Howard wished Mad Ukrainian luck over there. Mad Ukrainian said he really admires them. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said he doesn't usually let people change their nicknames but in this case he will. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and sang along with the Black Crowes song. He said that's a live cover of the song. He said he loves the Black Crowes. He said he can see why Jimmy Page joined them for a while. He said he watches that all the time. He said there are a ton of clips online. He said that was a really good concept. He said it just worked. He said Chris Robinson is one of the best front men ever. He said just listen to his voice. He said he's a skinny fuck too. He said he was back in the day anyway. He said it was all perfect.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a doctor and covered in tattoos. He said he hears some old clips of Howard talking about his tattoos. He said he doesn't think highly of doctors with tattoos but he's wondering if he has changed his tune. Howard said not at all. He said he doesn't want to see his doctor all tattooed up. He said that he has a few tattoos himself but when he sees someone with a lot of them then he thinks that they might have something going on. He said there's something off. He said he doesn't mind it if he's a DJ or a cab driver but not a doctor. He said he doesn't want someone to be a little off if he's a doctor. He said he is not comfortable with that concept. He said his doctor should not have tattoos.
Howard asked how many tattoos this guy has. The caller, Matt, said he has about 500 hours of tattoos. He said he graduated from a very prestigious medical school too. He told Howard where he went to school and all of that. Howard said he's just telling him there are certain professions where you shouldn't have a lot of tattoos. Howard said he earned his. He said he worked many years before getting any. He said he was a shitty DJ and he got hired because of the way he dressed. He said he showed up looking like a ''normal'' guy and got the job. He said if he had tattoos he wouldn't have gotten hired. He said that if he had to hire someone with or without tattoos he's probably going to hire the person without tattoos.
Howard said he also feels like he's a little young for this. He said his parents paid for those tattoos too. He said that's how he feels. He asked the caller what kind of doctor he is. He said he's a psychiatrist.
Howard said you see doctors with tattoos in porn. He said that's what he sees on YouPorn. He said even that he doesn't like. He said he still wants to believe that guy is a doctor and suspend disbelief. Matt said he has had a lot of success in his career so he disagrees with him. Howard said that's fine. He said that he's sure that some of his patients have left him because of those tattoos. Robin asked if he covers up. Matt said they're mostly covered. He said he will wear short sleeves on the weekend but that's not all the time.
Howard said he bets that most of his clientele is under 30. Matt said the only feedback he's gotten has been positive. He said it helps him connect to his patients. Howard said they're lying to him. Howard said he likes Post Malone's music but he doesn't want that guy giving him a physical. He said he's not into the tattoo thing for a doctor.
Howard asked if he has piercings too. Matt said not at all. He said this tattoo stuff his high quality art. Howard laughed. Howard said it's not good. He said he seems to be doing just fine though. He said maybe up in Maine they're a little looser. He said that they may not care so much up there.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks that this shows that someone can sit for hours and it's not a big deal. Howard said you have to dress the part sometimes. He said a doctor or dentist should not have tattoos. The caller, Allison, said that you can cover them up. Howard said there's something wrong with you if you can't get through life without getting a tattoo.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that her husband is a physician and he got stage 4 cancer and he has tattoos and each one is on one of his tumor sites. Robin said that's different. Howard said not it's not. He said he doesn't need his doctor having tattoos. He said this is a different example. He said he doesn't care about scars. Howard said this is a different thing. He said that she's got an example that doesn't fit with what he was talking about. He said he knows the right thing to do.
The caller, Betsey, asked Howard about why he got his tattoos. Howard said he got them for all the wrong reasons. He said that he got his because he's insecure. Betsey asked Robin what she thinks. Howard said she agrees with him. He didn't let her answer. Howard said he got his stuff because he has low self esteem. He said that's what it has to do with. He said you want to look like something you're not inside. He said everybody is like that. Betsey said that all of her husbands are beneath his clothes. Howard said tattoos are for people who have nothing better to do.
Robin said however you need to incorporate that you had a terrible illness she's all for. Betsey said she had cancer a couple of years later too. She said they're doing great now. She said Robin gets it.
Howard said he was the wild man of radio. He said one day Dee Snider said he looks like his accountant. He said he was on to something. He said he decided to get a tattoo. He said he was creating an image. He said that's it. He said he's a douche bag on the radio. He said this physician thing is a job that you shouldn't have a tattoo in. He said he'll be long gone when that changes.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she agrees with Howard on the tattoos. She said she met her husband about 18 years ago and he got one on their honeymoon. She said that it is now turned into an obsession. She said he has both arms and neck covered now. She said she has no tattoos but her husband is all in and it changed his look. She said she was kind of upset about it. Howard said he's trying to be a bad ass. He said the more there are the more insecure you are. He said when he sees someone in porn with a lot of tattoos he's right out of there. He said he goes right to the next one.
Howard said he's not sure what this woman's husband does but you don't see anyone at the Mayo clinic with face tattoos.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Dr. Now talking about not worrying about tattoos. He said that you have no self control if you have to get a tattoo. He said it's ridiculous. Howard let Dr. Now go a short time later.
Howard said they took that audio and the guys called some internet radio shows. He said they called a clairvoyant radio show with that. Howard played the clip and in that they called into this show and the clairvoyant was asked what the name of his station is and things that Howard had his mother asking him about where the station is. The guy said he's at a home studio in Arkansas. They kept having Howard's mom ask him where he was from and things like that. The clairvoyant claimed he can see 6-8 months into the future. He was arguing with fake Ray Stern about all of that. Then the guy was speaking in tongues and Ray was laughing at him.
Howard and Robin goofed on the guy about his speaking in tongues thing. Howard said he should do that. He said when Gary upsets him he's going to speak in tongues.
Howard said the psychic dude sounds like the teacher on Beavis and Butt-Head. Howard played some examples of the two and they did sound alike. Howard said that was Mr. Van Driessen. Robin said maybe Mike Judge is doing that radio show voice too.
Howard said Sam is not the only follower of Sal. He said Angry Alice believes in Sal. He played a voicemail that she left them about that. In the clip Alice said that she believes in Sal and then went off on a racist rant.
Howard said Jay and Roddy sent this song about Sal. He played the song parody about Sal being brain dead. Howard read some feedback about Sal's syllable issues yesterday.
Howard said he was shocked that when he played Metamucil Man that fans really liked it. Howard said the fans are thinking they have another hit there. He played some of that song. Howard said a lot of people liked that. He read a few comments about that. He said the public loves it.
Howard said they were talking about the greatest guitar player of all time and they got some feedback about that. He read through some of that. Howard said the fans think that they should add Steve Nowicki to the list. Howard had a few suggestions for who else should be on the list of greatest guitar players of all time. Howard played some examples from some people who were suggested for the list.
Howard said the debate goes on. He said people love that shit. He said he knows he's right that Jimi Hendrix was the best of all time. He went to break after that.
Gary said maybe it's Howard who isn't in reality. Howard said he's not and he knows it. He said he wants out of this whole thing but he can't get out of it. Gary said he absolves him. Howard said he knows but Beth won't let him.
Robin said she and Howard had this conversation too and they don't know what to give each other anymore. Howard said he does paintings for her and things like that. He said it takes a lot of time.
Howard said he thinks he stopped getting Fred a gift. Fred said it's been many years. Howard said he drew the line with him. Fred said the last time was probably 1983. Howard said he won't go back to that. He said that he's a true friend and let him off the hook. Fred said he is off the hook. Howard said with Robin it's a different story. He said he's like her work husband. Robin said she isn't looking for that. Howard said she got him anyway. He said she needs a gift. He worries about her day and night. Robin said he doesn't have to worry about a gift. Howard got back to his commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and said that's a feel good song if he's ever heard it. He said Reggie Jackson played for the Oakland A's. He said he had to put up with a lot of bullshit over the years. He said he still managed to be a great athlete. He said he had all of these fuckheads screwing with him. He said the documentary shows all of that.
Howard read some stats for Reggie and talked about his rings and how he shows them off in the documentary. He said it's a great documentary. He said he loved it. He said there's a lot to dissect there.
Howard said it's good to see Reggie. Reggie said he's not a big interview guy anymore. He said he won't do it unless he knows the person. He said that when he found out there was a company that wanted him to do interviews all over the country he didn't want to do it. He said he's 75. He said he's not running up and down the road. He said he was willing to do interviews with some people and he told them who he wanted to do them with. He said the person he chose was Howard Stern. Howard said he appreciates that. He said he knows how it can be going out there. He said they're close in age.
Howard asked Reggie if he still gets out there and hits the ball. Reggie said he will get out there and still do it. He said he can still do it. He said he can hit the ball off a tee and he'll do that 5 times in a row and he'll keep the line drive the same height. He said he can do that 8-10 times in a row. He said he wants the people seeing it to stop and watch him. He said he can still swing the bat and control it.
Howard said he's saying that he wants to show his technique and that he can still do it. He said he would think a lot of guys have attitude. He said there are a few types of individuals and some think they can do what Reggie can do.
Reggie said with all his days with the Yankees he never ran into that. He said there may be guys out there like that. He said he can still see text messages from Aaron Judge where he thanked him. He said he asked him for some autographs and he did them for him. He said he has not run into anybody that has kicked him to the curb. He said that all the young players are very attentive to what he has to say now. He said he knows how to fit. He said when he's around the Astros he won't go in the player's clubhouse. He said he doesn't belong in there. He said you learn how to fit in. He said they have maybe 50-60 people around the club constantly. He said it's his job to fit in. He said he hasn't run into anyone like that.
Howard said he thinks that Joe DiMaggio was a mentor to him and he wasn't hostile toward him. Reggie said Joe didn't say much and Mickey Mantle didn't say much. He said Yogi said a few things but he did them in his way. He said he was doing the things he was doing because they were hard workers. He said he wanted that approval. He said players today are the same. He said they have some very hard working players out there. He said he has been with some great organizations. He said the ownership creates the culture. He said they are honored when they're around and it's important to know when to talk or not say something. He said players are watching. He said when you do say something you don't want the player to say you haven't been here. He said you have to make yourself seen so they know you're there. He said it's all about care.
Howard asked for some Yogi-isms. Reggie said he has a great scene. He said Yogi was 75 or 80 and he was in the locker room. He said he was right next to him and Yogi was putting his pants on. He said he asked Yogi if he stayed in first class hotels when they were on the road. He said Yogi told him that they stayed in the St. Regis hotel. He said Yogi said he really liked it but the only thing was that the towels were so thick he wasn't able to fit them in his suitcase to get them home. He said it was unbelievable.
Reggie said another time they were on the old timers game and he was introduced after Yogi and others. He said they're standing there and they were talking about the guys who has passed away. He said they were young guys. He said that Yogi was poking him in the chest and Yogi says that he hopes that he never sees his name up there.
Howard said he was wondering about Reggie being a professional athlete and the guys came up with the odds of that happening and it's the same as being hit by lightning. He said it's one hell of a club to be in. He said there are so few guys you can relate to in your life.
Reggie said he can reverse that. He said it's relative to Howard. He said he wonders who he would compare Howard to with his bigness and reach. He said that he would probably say maybe Dick Clark. He said he was famous from the 1950s until 2000 or so. He said Howard has that kind of reach with his listeners. He said he was told he has between 15 and 20 million daily listeners. He said Howard and Walter Winchell and Walter Cronkite too. He said folks don't know them but that's the kind of reach Howard has. He said it's also brand awareness.
Howard said his father told him not to go into radio because he had a better chance of being in the major leagues.
Howard said he's glad he did this documentary. He said that he wanted control over it but he lost it and that might be a good going because it's a really good documentary. Reggie said he wanted a lot of people involved in it. He said he wanted some people in it and they said no. He said he wanted Rick Hendrick involved and he also wanted Dr. J and Franco Harris. He said Franco had some health issues and his number was being retired with the Steelers. He said he talked to him on a Tuesday and about 4 or 5 hours later and he got a call from his son saying he had passed. He said he didn't know what to do. He said he stayed up all night and went back to the funeral and all of that. He said he wanted to get him into his documentary just sharing time for a few seconds. He said that he couldn't get him in and it broke his heart. He said he appreciates the fact that he has watched it twice. He said it's painful for him and he won't watch it again. He said he has heard good reviews though. He said that it got kind of haywire and he stayed with it because he didn't want whoever paid for it not to get their money back. He said that's why he's doing this.
Reggie said he didn't want to sign a contract to do this media tour. He said that he wanted some other things in the documentary to show how he became who he became.
Howard said he was a fan of his when he was a Yankee. He said he's an amazing player. He said they painted him as the angry guy and all of that in the media. He said when he saw the documentary he saw the pain in his life. He said he didn't dwell on it. He said that Reggie's mom didn't take him with her. He said she took the other kids with her. Reggie said they were half brother and sister. He said those two are very dear to him. He said they're 84 and 87 and they talk once a week.
Howard said when your mother leaves you at that age you become an orphan in a sense. He said every boy needs his mother. He said he must have wondered why she didn't take him with her. He said he feels like he needs to get to the bottom of that. Reggie said he hears him and feels him more clear than he hears him. He said his mother and dad did a tremendous job of raising the kids. He said a mom's love is different than a dad. He said that's why they need both. He said that he remembers spending time with his mom and when he got to the big leagues he was 20 or 21 and he wanted her to be in his life and for her to be Reggie's mom. Howard said he feels his pain over that but it leads to an inner anger. He said he remembers talking to him a long time ago and asking if he ever confronted her about it. He said at the time he wasn't able to ask her about that. Reggie said she did what she needed to do. He said she admires her raising the other 3 kids and his dad raising the three. He said he treated them both as wonderful parents. He said they both came to his hall of fame induction. He said his mom had a stroke and she lost the ability for speech. He said he chartered her a plane and she flew in for that. He said he remembers carrying his mother on the plane up the stairs. He said they were both there and he was honored and blessed. Howard said that's powerful.
Howard asked if his mom ever turned to him and said she was sorry. Reggie said no but at the time she couldn't talk. He said he could see the love here for her and for her from him. He said that was enough for him.
Howard said he needs a mother. He said the amount of racism out there is crazy. He said it was tough for him to grow up. He said he grew up in a white community. Reggie said it was a Jewish white community. Howard said to be the outsider is very difficult. He said he's sure it was tough. He said being black must have been a pain in his ass. Reggie said he would say that most of his friends were white. He said that was a problem for him and his white friends. He said the parents didn't want them to associate with him. He said the worst thing to happen to him was when he was 11 or 12 and he was riding a bicycle home that his friend let him borrow. He said that kid's step father drove up and saw him doing that and made him walk it back home. He said he never forgot that.
Howard asked if he ever had an adult in his life that he could talk to about that. He asked if he could tell his father that story. Reggie said his dad did ask about what went on and he did tell him the story. He said he remembers a hug from him but that's all he can remember.
Howard asked if he knows what that can do to you. Reggie said as a black man he sees things and he's excited to see black people. He said he met a man last night who was in charge of hiring people at ABC. He said he was excited to meet him and he told him such. He said he was overwhelmed. He said he has been in environments where black people are dark and they feel more prejudice. He said he can feel it. He said that he's very sensitive to blacks in public places. He said he is recognized a lot and he will reach out and let them know that he's with them and acknowledge them. He said it's very important to him.
Howard said he grew up in a place where the light skinned blacks were more accepted. He said that screws with your head even more. He said it makes you wonder where you belong and who will be jealous.
Reggie said he gravitated toward the Jews and felt that they felt the oppression and negatively from the white man. He said that it was easier for him to be around certain people and it was often Jewish people. Howard said he knows what that's like. He said he feels that every day of his life.
Reggie said this interview is something he looked forward to very much. He said he knew that he would be able to talk about anything. He said people would ask what he would do but he knew that the depth of the conversation would be way more than anyone else could do. He said he has been around Howard once and he knows him enough to understand his social understanding and his philosophy of life. He said Howard can get real and go deep. He said he can get to his heart and he has enormous respect for his intelligence.
Howard said he feels sad for both of them right now. He said that he had to have a friend pick up a date for him because she was white. Howard said that has to affect you the rest of your life. He said it must eat away at you. He said he had to get a white kid to pick up the girlfriend in a car. He said then he's in the major leagues and he's making 20 grand a year. He said he can't imagine how he feels inside after all of that. Reggie said he thinks it made him stronger and more sensitive about feelings. He said he can be in a room with 300 people and feel a racist on the other side of the room. He said as Howard speaks he can feel his depth of what's in his heart. He said he is aware of that and what he's saying. He said that it does make him stronger though. He said that all drives him. He said if he can serve someone with all of that then he's going to do that. He said that this is all tremendous for people.
Howard said Reggie got hit in the head with a baseball and the hospital in Idaho didn't let him in because he was black. He said he'd be angry over that. Reggie said that's true. He said his attitude with arrogance when he was younger was something he couldn't wait to use if you didn't treat him fairly. Howard said he was the dynamo and he got paid like 20,000 a year. He said he wanted 50. Reggie said he went from 7 to 10 to 16,000. He said that those were the minimum salaries. He said that he hit 30 home runs and went to 20,000. He said then he hit 47 and made 47,000. Howard said what a strange business that is. He said it's all very strange and he should have been treated well. He said he wasn't rewarded for performing. He said they're entertainers and that had to drive him crazy.
Reggie said that things have changed and he thinks that he was part of that free agency thing that went on. He said that some people suffered from going out there and trying to push that stuff. He said they would fire people for asking the system to be fair.
Howard said Steinbrenner was a smart guy at least. He said he did talk about what a great player Reggie was and he'd pay for him as long as he could. He said thank god for that guy. He said he might have been a bit of a hero. Reggie said that was a guy who won 7 world series and he should be in the hall of fame for sure. He said he's not sure who is keeping him out. Howard said he's annoyed with Bud Selig. Reggie said he is. He was starting to explain something but Howard took over and explained that he wanted to own a baseball team and they don't let black guys do that. He said they put together a consortium to buy a team. He said Bill Gates was part of that. Howard asked how Bill Gates didn't win that team. He said something had to have gone on there. Reggie said he was willing to pay $25 million more than anyone else who wanted the team. He said it turns out that it was Bud's friend from college who got the team. He said that he was in a depression for months after that. He said that the heard a radio program and they were advertising about depression. He said he had to get out of that when he realized they were talking about him. He said that he had to get out of it because he was laying around for months. He said he didn't know he was depressed but he found out. He said he got himself out of it.
Howard said there's not much difference between that and Bud's buddy getting the team. Reggie said he's right. He said that he was told he should have gotten the team. Howard asked if he thinks the teams got together and said they didn't want him owning a team because he could be a pain in the ass. Reggie said he's sure they did. He said it's known that he had a 100 page lawsuit drawn up and he still has the deck that's 3-4 inches thick. He said that he has six inches of text messages that went back and forth. He said he never filed it. He said he got scared away by some people in baseball. He said he would have had to resign from baseball if he did it. He said he would have had to have gotten away from baseball and he didn't know enough about it. He said he should have sued and it's still in his craw. He said he still has backup for all of this stuff. He has a signed letter and he could have bought the whole national league. Howard said it's unbelievable.
Reggie said he had some stuff about that in the documentary but they took it out. He said he had a meeting with someone in January about it and they were going to go to the commissioner's office to talk about it. He said they were supposed to connect and talk about it. He said he is willing to participate. He said he has no legal action going. He said he has some friends who are trying to figure the best path to make things work.
Howard said he talks about his life off the field in the documentary. He said that he can control things on the field but not in real life. Howard said he gets that because he controls things when he does his radio show.
Howard asked if he's friends with professional athletes. He said he must not trust everyone. Reggie said that Dr. J is like a brother to him. He said he told him to tell Howard that they were the Rough Riders. He said that he and Howard went to the same school and so did Eddie Murphy. He said that he is a friend to Howard. He said there are guys who are like brothers to him who were athletes. He said they're all getting older now and it's very painful to lose them. He named a bunch of guys he was friendly with who are no longer around. He said he has friends now who he will get right on the phone with and return calls.
Reggie said he heard a lot of things in his time and there was a lot of anti-Semitism in the league too. He said he was there listening to it.
Howard asked if he's seeing anyone right now. Reggie said he's in a relationship with a woman who he has known for over 30 years. He said he loves the life he has with her. He said there's no pressure there to get married. He said he probably will get married though. Howard asked if it's hard for him to do that. Reggie said it is. He said he hasn't popped the question yet.
Howard asked if it was hard to have a real relationship when you went through as much as he did with his parents. Reggie said it wasn't hard to open his heart but it was hard to be loyal. He said he cheated a lot. He said he can't blame that on anyone though. He said he would see a pretty girl and he'd try to sleep with her. Howard said when they name a candy bar after you then you have a lot of power. Reggie said he had access and he took advantage of it. He said he missed out on a couple of great ladies in his life and it was his own fault. He said he just didn't get it. He said he has a wonderful daughter and he wasn't married when he had her. He said what a great experience that has been. He said he has two grand kids who are great. He said he would have loved to have a bunch of kids because they're just great.
Howard said what gets him is that in the documentary he gets down over something but he gets up to bat and he smacks a home run. He said it gives him the chills.
Reggie said he has had friends who have been great to him. He said he has one friend who is self made and he has a 900 square foot house. He said there are other great friends he has who are Jewish. Howard said it's great when you can make it on your own. He said you admire the guy who can do that. He said there's depth there. Reggie said absolutely. He said these guys are all from nothing and they have billionaire wealth now. He said they're just super people. He said it's so comfortable. He said he uses them as a cabinet. He said he has a friend who is 87 and he worked with a guy to form the steel worker's union.
Howard asked if he ever got to the bottom of the Billy Martin thing. He said he was one of these guys who just wanted to put people in their place. He said that's the impression that the documentary gave him. Reggie said that's a very good read. He said that is a true read. He said as Howard interprets it and puts it into a narrative that's who Billy was. He said Billy had an alcohol habit too. He said that gave him a mean streak. Howard said you want to build guys up these days. He said he must not have been a great coach if he did that. He said you're helpless in a way because the guy was the boss. Reggie said there were some great coaches and he tries to mimic those guys. He said that he wants to be the positive guy who builds people up. Howard said he gives them the dignity. Reggie said absolutely.
Howard said you need your dignity. He said the coach has to give that to you. Reggie said you do. He said that there was a lot of racism out there and the team would have go go out and find places to stay because some places didn't want him there.
Howard said you must feel like that stuff never goes away. Reggie said they went to play in Birmingham, Alabama and they were going to sit down to eat and they were told they can't eat in there because of him. He said they were going to go to a diner but they came over and said they can stay. Howard said he'd be afraid to eat when they do that kind of thing.
Howard asked Reggie about this thing he had with Thurman Munson. He said there was a to of stuff going on there. He said they didn't let him bat near him. He said he was a great clean up batter. Reggie said he was a very good guy. He said his wife is always gracious to him and is always nice. He said that's one of the people he would have liked to have had in the documentary. He said he would have liked to have had her there.
Howard asked what it was that they had going on there. Reggie said there was something that was attributed to him that he didn't say. He said he never said it but Thurman thought he did. He went into details about how that came about and what he said that may have been the issue. He said that the writer of the article was the one who said he was ''the straw that stirs the drink'' for the team and Thurman didn't like that. He said he talked to Thurman about that because he was very upset about that. He said they made their peace and then the article came out and it ruined the whole thing. He said he explained that he was misquoted but it went wrong from there. He said it was like a cold war. He said he got together with him a few times and flew with him on his plane. He said they got back to the right place eventually.
Howard said he has the feeling that he was most at home playing the game. Reggie said that he would get up to bat and he had to make things happen. He said that he was after that clutch situation because he loved being able to come through. Howard said it's like he had a tunnel vision for that. Reggie said he did.
Howard said he loved the story about him being in little league and striking out in a big game. He said instead of leaving the game he walked home and said to himself that he was going to be in the major leagues. Reggie asked where he gets that from. Howard said he has lived his life. He said he said the same thing to himself as a kid about being on radio some day.
Reggie said that he walked home that day and his dad followed him in the car to make sure he was okay. He said he walked home about 2 miles. He said he's surprised that he knew that. Howard said he read it in his book. He said that he could have been a great football player too. Reggie said he played for a guy at Arizona State. He said that he was a great coach. He said he was a better football player at the time. He said he was tailback and safety. Howard asked why he switched. Reggie said he was 18-19 and he was thinking that 40 was old. He said you couldn't leave college and play professional football. He said you could do that with baseball though. He said that's why he went with baseball.
Howard said what a life he has had. He asked how his health is. Reggie said he's been very lucky. He said he had some knee issues about 5 years ago. He said he hopes to have some kind of settlement from that. He said they may be hoping he dies first. He said he slipped and fell on a nature area that had some slippery areas in it. He said he also slipped and fell at a friend's house because he was carrying too much luggage. Howard said you must wonder what happened to your body at that point. Reggie said you do. He said they say most deaths after the age of 70 are from a fall. Howard said he has the balance thing going on. He said he notices that.
Howard asked if he reads obituaries. Reggie said he does not. Robin said he looks great and she never would have guessed he's 75.
Howard asked what the best part of fame is for him. Reggie said he's able to get almost anyone to return his call. He said if he wants to do something in this country to make an impact and leave a mark that will add to the lives of as many undeserved he wants to do that. He said he wants to get people to participate in that. He said he wants to get people who are higher up to pay attention and get that done. He said we need to be a productive world. Howard said he thought it was the women he was going to say.
Howard asked if he ever thinks about who will win the World Series this year or things like that. Reggie said he is an Astros and Yankee fan. He said he is an Aaron Judge fan. He said he's a Steinbrenner family fan and that's because he wouldn't be where he is if it wasn't for that man. He said he may have hired him for spite. He said he's grateful and thankful. He said he wanted to go out and spread the word about his documentary and he had to do it with Howard Stern. He knew he could do more for him than anybody. Howard said he's thrilled to have him there.
Howard asked what he thinks about the pitch clock. Reggie said he likes it but he wants to expand on it. He said that the game has to be sped up. He said that they need to move it along. He said it got to be boring. He said this is a good thing. He said he didn't have to adjust anything when he was playing. He said now you see people adjusting all kinds of things. He said it should take and hour and 50 minutes to play a game. He said 3 hours is crazy.
Howard said he wants a name for who will win this year. Reggie said they lost their best player on the Astros for 8-10 weeks. He said that's a big loss. He said they have enough pitching and they may be there in the end. He said if they can get there then they will be in it. He said they may be able to do it with the pitching. He said they will be there in the end. He said the Yankees may be there. He said they have a lot of swing and missers on the Yankees.
Howard asked who the Mets are doing. Reggie gave his thoughts on them too. He said the Phillies are good too. He said if he has to pick a winner he's going with the Astros.
Howard said he should let him go. He said he must have to pish like he does. He asked if he has that enlarged prostate going on too. Reggie said he has to get up at night to pee, sure.
Howard said the Mets had the chance to get Reggie and they didn't go with him. Reggie said he was dating a Mexican girl at the time and he married her. He said there was a scout and he thought that he would cause social unrest if he was dating a girl outside his race. He said that he was 18 years old and he was told he should be the number 1 draft but it was that girl he was dating that caused them not to draft him. He said he was the second pick. He said the guy they went with never played. Howard said that would have been some line up if they had drafted him.
Howard said Reggie's greatest accomplishment was The Naked Gun movie. He said that was such a great movie. He said he must be proud of that. Reggie said he did like that. He said he got to see Priscilla Presley and she was so pretty. Howard said she was a beautiful woman. He said he got to do that scene with her. Reggie said there were a lot of great guys in that film. He said they had OJ in it. Howard asked if he ever hears from OJ. Reggie said not at all. He said he can run away from him if he has to.
Howard asked if he made love to Priscilla off camera. Reggie said not at all. Howard said the Reggie Bar is back out. He said that they're releasing that candy bar again. Reggie said it's a great candy bar. He said they're going to get it out there again. He said that Ralph Lauren is helping to get it out there. He said he has a great car collection too. He said he had a collection of about 150 but now he's down to about 75. Howard asked what his favorite car is. Reggie told Howard about this car that he has that was a Ferarri that was made into a convertible. He said they built 10 and he has the 11th. He said one of them sold in 2014 for $27 million. He said they may move that down the road for the family.
Howard asked if his love of cars comes from this father's business where he worked on his truck. Reggie said he handed his dad his tools and he was there doing that. He said his dad had a route that they went on and they had 60-70 customers that they would go to pick up from. He said they were mostly Jewish. He said he'd go to the door to deliver the clothes and they'd tell them that they were going to pay the next week. He said his dad would tell him that his pay was coming from that money.
Howard said he has to be careful eating that Reggie bar. He asked what's in it. Reggie was eating it and trying to talk while his mouth was full. He said he's going to leave Howard a box.
Howard said congratulations on the documentary. He said it shows what a great carer he had. He said ''Reggie'' is on Amazon Prime Video starting this Friday. Howard said make sure that Gary doesn't get a hold of that box of candy. He said they won't stand a chance with him.
Howard said he is the greatest. Reggie said he's happy to be in the company of greatness. Robin said that what he used to do to Baltimore was amazing to watch. She said she couldn't believe what was happening. Reggie said this is maybe his favorite interview ever. He said he knows they did one a few years ago. He said that it sill replays. He said he looks forward to this again some day. He thanked Howard very much. Robin said Howard was really excited for this. Reggie said he was too. He said that he didn't know what would happen but he knew it would be fun.
Reggie said he will be reaching out to Howard again about something he's working on. Howard wrapped up and let him go a short time later.
Howard said it really is a great documentary. Robin said it is really good. She said every time they show you one of those October moments you get so excited.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Trump talking about how no one is more oppressed than him. He said Reggie's stories are nothing compared to his story. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said next week Billy Corgan will be in with the whole band. He said he's looking forward to that. He ended the show around 10:50am.