| Monday | Tuesday |
|
|
| Wednesday | Thursday |
|
|
| Friday | |
|
|
Howard started the show talking about Rob Zombie and how he's going to be an EGOT winner soon. He said that's an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony. He said he hasn't worked that out yet but he's sure he'll figure out a way to win them all. He said he's on track.
Howard said he saw a commercial for the new Munsters and he's not sure how that's going to work out but Rob has it all figured out. He said he loves the Munsters and Rob does too. He said he did that song about the Dracula from the Munsters. He said that's how much Rob loved them.
Howard said he watched Stranger Things over the weekend. He said that Millie Bobby Brown has grown into a young lady. He said he was really stoked for Stranger Things and it's done so well. He said he didn't get what the ending was all about. He said he came in this morning and Jon Hein tells him that the ending wasn't the ending. He said Netflix is going to have 2 more episodes for this season. He said he wondered when Netflix started doing that. He said he wants them all at once. Robin said they're splitting up seasons now.
Howard said he wondered why they're doing that. He asked Jon why that is. Jon said they're doing like a mid season finale kind of thing. Howard said he has no problem with the show then. He said if that's the case then that's fine. Robin said they did that with Ozark too. She said she thought there was some weird Sopranos ending there.
Howard said he was cursing out the Duffer Brothers when he saw the ending. He said he didn't get it. He said he doesn't get why these guys can't direct on their own. He said he's so glad he never had a brother. He said Betty Thomas had a sister but she never had her there to ask her what to do. He said he doesn't get why it takes siblings to help direct.
Howard said he remembers the Farrelly brothers. Robin said there were also the Wachowski brothers who became the sisters. Howard said now they're both transgender. He said that's amazing. He asked what the odds are that it would happen like that. He said there's the Cohen brothers and the Zuker brothers too. He said there were the Radical brothers for David Letterman's show too. He said he may have made that up. He said the first brothers were the Warner Brothers. He said they went on to build an empire.
Howard said he doesn't mind performing brothers like Moe and Curly. He said when they direct then it's a problem. He said you never hear from Quentin Tarantino's brother. He said he knew to stay out of the family business.
Howard said he's in the middle of watching James Bond. He said he saw it was available for free on Amazon Prime. He said he has that so he's watching it. He said it's good. He said he likes it a lot. He said that's a good recommendation. Robin asked if he has watched Spider-Man yet. Howard said he has. He said it's the new one which was No Way Home. He said Far from Home was the one before it. He said he finally watched it and what a piece of garbage it was. He said he's done with Spider-Man. He said they have to have a reason to be cool as Spider-Man. He said this kid can't do anything right as Spider-Man. He said Dr. Strange is good and the special effects are great but this Tom Holland is such a pus with Zendaya. He said there's no romance there. He said you'd think she'd be fucking his brains out but it's just not good. He said he's not getting it.
Robin asked if they can talk about an element of the movie. Howard said go ahead. Robin said there's Toby Maguire who shows up. Robin said he can shoot webs out of his wrist but other guys have to have a special device. She asked what that means. Howard said it means nothing. He said it's all ridiculous. He said it's the multi-verse and they can do different things in different movies. Howard said originally Spider-Man made it in a lab. He said he was very bright and made his own goo for his web. He said in one of the movies they gave him the ability to shoot it out of his arm. He said it got confusing. He said in the comic book he read he was able to build his own shooters.
Howard said he doesn't know what's happening. He said there's so many things happening. He said sometimes they can dodge bullets or get shot. Howard said the movie was stupid. He said this guy has no romance and you need that in a movie. He said everyone seems to have better powers than Spider-Man in that movie. He said they're way smarter and way more motivated to get the job done.
Howard said they had Jake Gyllenhaal making illusions and stuff. He said he wishes they had him kill Spider-Man. He said in the song about the guy they sing about how he has the powers of a spider.
Howard had Wolfie on who said the spidey sense was in every movie. He said Robin may not have seen the whole movie. He said it was what saves him. Howard said sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Wolfie said it happens in the comics like Howard said. He said sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Howard told Wolfie to get out of here.
Howard said Wolfie is wearing a Spider-Man shirt today. He said he looks cute in that. Robin said good pick up on that. Howard said look at his room. He said he has more toys in there than he ever did as a kid.
Howard said the guy's name is Jeff Gutt. He said he was on the X-Factor. He said he's sure the guy is good and he wishes them luck. He said he'd like to hear some new material though. Lisa said he's doing his own thing. She said if they ever get in the studio she thinks Howard would be surprised.
Howard said he hasn't seen them so he doesn't know but Scott Weiland is a tough act to replace. He said he was a sweetheart of a guy. He said it's too bad he didn't figure out the drug thing in time. He said they either figure it out or die young. He said Scott died young.
Howard said he sees they're doming something about guns finally. He said they're going to do background checks. He said the thing with guns is that a pussy like him feels like he can defend himself if the cops aren't around. He said people want a sense of security. He said that most people aren't quick on the draw. He said you have to be able to pull the gun and get someone before they get you. He said he doesn't want to go to jail defending himself but that's what he has to think about.
Howard said you have to go in and practice shooting if you have a gun. He said it's a skill you can lose. He said if you don't practice every week you're screwed. He said you have to do it.
Robin said when someone comes in to kill you and the kids in a school that's traumatic. Howard said you don't know what's going on there. He said if they give guns to a teacher they have to make a snap decision. He said they might pull a gun in a room full of 12 year olds. He said this Trump says that's the solution by having teachers carry guns. Howard said if the teacher can pass an FBI instructors test then maybe they can do that. He said it's an easy test. He said he hasn't passed it. He said he passed the FBI test but not the FBI instructor test. He said the FBI test isn't easy. He said it's a difficult test.
Howard said unfortunately there's no money for bullets so the police can't even practice every week. He said you have to have money and be able to buy bullets. Robin asked if they have practice bullets. Howard said they don't work. He said you have to be able to feel the power of the gun to do that. He said most police are holding the gun improperly.
Howard said with guns there are more and more women buying them. He said they know they'd be over powered in some situations so they want a sense of security. He said we have people going in and shooting places up with AR-15s. He said it's unfortunate that in the wrong hands people are shooting up these places. He said those of you protecting your family there are people using them for bad. He said we have to have laws to protect people.
Robin mentioned Matthew McConaughey and what he was saying about the gun problem and how it's not the regular people who are the issue but the people who are taking guns and shooting people and they're messing it up for the rest of us.
Howard said there are dumbed down versions of the AR that are sold but they're limited. He said that's how they do it there in New York. He said it's too powerful a weapon. He said we have a problem. He said there is a reason to have guns. He said there are people who need them for protection. He said there are all kinds of crazy situations that arise.
Robin said she has lived in all of those situations. She said she has had to do all of that stuff. Howard said she was lucky. He said if you're a woman and get raped and you could have shot the guy in the head then that's a level of security. Robin said people don't always get to do that. She said they freeze.
Howard said he saw a video of a guy who walked up to a guy and tried to shoot something. He said the gun jammed and the guy just stood there. He said all he had to do was run but he froze and stood there waiting for the guy to reload the gun to get it to fire. He said the guy got shot. He said that's what can happen in schools with people who freeze up. He said when you have a knife and you have a gun the guy can run at you and pounce on you in less time than it takes to pull the gun out and fire at you. He said we have to do something.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has been a teacher for 20 years and he wants to thank him for his support. He said he can't agree with him more on this. He said he can't imagine arming himself or having someone in the building armed. He said he can't imagine having to take out a student he knows. He said he has to thank him for everything he does. Howard said most people think it'll be like the movies and you'll know to get ready. He said it doesn't work like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been in law enforcement for over 10 years. He said he thinks Howard is very eloquent with his description of how he sees the second amendment. He said people do have to be able to protect themselves. He said the police aren't outside your home all the time. He said when seconds matter they're minutes away. He said you have to be able to have that gun. He said people also think that law enforcement are well trained but that's not the case all the time. He said they have to shoot just once or twice a year to qualify. He said the people who own guns may fire guns more than the police. Howard said he's right. He said there a lot of people who don't know how to hold a weapon and fire a weapon. He said it can be a problem.
Howard said that guy summed it up. Howard said 30 percent of adults own a gun. He said he would say that only 1 percent can shoot them properly. Robin said we have a huge problem in our society. She said that they have something about beefing up psychological help but you have to go ask for that. She said most people don't ask for help if they are struggling. She said they will find ways to kill people even without a gun.
Howard said he didn't watch the Tony Awards. Robin said she did watch 10 seconds of it. She said Bob Dylan has won all kinds of awards and last night she found out how you can make them terrible. She said there's a Broadway show about his songs and they sing them in that Broadway way. Howard said he didn't see it so he can't comment. He said he knows they've been brutal in the past. He said it's tough to watch.
Howard said it's crazy. He said OJ weighed in and he got away with you know what. He said this guy is weighing in on this thing now. He played some audio of OJ talking about the hearings and how his buddy won't watch because it's like a movie and he's not going to watch it. Howard said he watched the OJ trial and he watched every minute of it. He said he knows what happened there. OJ was telling his friend he has to look at it from both sides. OJ said you can't talk about it unless you've seen it from both sides. Howard said he saw it and he knows what happened there. He said everything you need to know was said by Bill Barr. He said he said ''bullshit.'' He said that's all you need to know. He said he told Trump the election fraud thing was bullshit. Howard played his statement about the election fraud being bullshit.
Howard said when Trump hired this guy he said no one was more qualified and he didn't listen to him. He said after last night Trump called him weak, a fraud and stupid. Robin said they will turn on him. Howard said Trump even attacked his own daughter. He said she believed Barr and Trump went after his own daughter over that. He said Trump said she had checked out on the whole thing and she wasn't paying attention to the election. Howard said he basically turned on her.
Howard said he didn't see the Tony Awards but he answered a knock at the door and it was fake Liza Minelli. Howard said she's an EGOT winner. He talked to her about that for a short time. He talked to her about her mother and asked if she'll go back to Broadway. Howard asked her about some of the people who were at the Tony Awards last night. He knew a lot about the awards show he didn't watch.
Howard thanked Liza for her review of the show. He had her sing a song for them to play herself off. She sang a Michael Jackson song. Howard spent a little more time talking to fake Liza and she sang more for them. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard said that was something.
Howard said if they didn't have oil we'd never hear anything about them. He said they have so much money that they can spread their whole diseased brain power all over the world. He said that it reminds him of South Africa and how they had apartheid. He said that they'd lure someone over to perform there and then people would get called out when they went there. He said it was years ago but they would perform there and they'd cross their fingers that no one would find out. He said they'd pay a million bucks to someone to perform there and people got greedy. He said they were real hypocrites. He said eventually they shamed everyone into not going there.
Howard said the Saudis are offering so much money that they offered Phil Mickelson $200 million to play with their league. He said that Phil finally said that they are scary people and then he got into bed with them and he's going to take that 200 million. He said that people are asking him about it now. He played some audio of Phil talking about why he's joining this league and saying he is against the human rights violations and all of that but he has seen golf do good for so long that he thinks it's okay. Howard said this guy Khashoggi was chopped up and unrecognizable when they were done with him. He said this is what he's condoning by going with this league. He said for $200 million he can overlook it. He said they're throwing around crazy money. He said that Tiger Woods turned down a 9 figure amount of money to join this league. Howard asked if she can imagine that. Robin said he can barely walk now. She said he might be able to walk with that kind of money.
Howard said don't yell out Baba Booey at one of these LIV tournaments. He said they may chop your head off.
Howard said he has to take a break and he'll come back to talk about the Baba Booeys at golf tournaments. He said there's no way you should support this LIV golf league.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they have this all wrong. He said they're not golf fans so they can't understand the differences between the leagues. He said he's not saying they're doing the right thing but if someone runs a league privately it's different. Howard said this is the Saudi government trying to make them look better. He said this is a government thing. He said they don't allow elections there. He said they kill their political adversaries and they're against gays and Jews and they're against pretty much anyone who doesn't agree with their religion. He said they used to punish women for driving up until a couple of years ago. He asked why we buy oil from them then. Howard said we need oil. The caller said it's hard to be selectively outraged against them. Howard said he has a good point there. He said maybe we shouldn't be buying oil from them. The caller said at the end of the day we should let it play out and see how it goes. Howard said no. The caller said it's happening one way or the other. He said they can't stop it. Howard said these guys who are taking the money are guys who have money already. He said they're well paid athletes who make a good living. He said at the end of the day how much money do you need. He said we all want more but you have to look at where it's coming from. Robin said when you dance with the devil you have a price to pay. The caller said we've been dancing with them for decades.
The caller said the PGA is a monopoly so we have to look at it from that point. Howard said he's right there. He said he doesn't like that either but the Saudis are horrible. He said it if was someone else trying to start a league he'd be all for it. He said there are so many other sports leagues that are monopolies. Howard said he can be upset with these guys taking money from the Saudis. He said that when people did the Sun City stuff it was upsetting. He said when you saw what they were doing to black people over there you had to take a stand. He said he loves money but he'd never take Saudi money. He said he'd never go work for them.
Howard asked Siri how much Phil Mickelson is worth. It said $400 million. Howard said the dude has 400 million and he knows 200 million is a lot too but come on. He said he's going to take $200 million from the Saudis. Howard had to dump out of something that the caller said. Robin said they talk about that in the latest article. Howard said he's just playing it safe. Howard said he really has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who said that he has the whole LIV golf thing wrong. He said he agrees with him on 95 percent of what he says on the show. He said we well arms and buy oil from this government. He said we buy things from China all the time. He said it's pretty hypocritical of him to say what he's saying. Howard said maybe he's right. He said maybe there is a lot of hypocrisy in all of this. He said he might be right. He said we are buying shit from China. He said he can't figure this all out. He said he just paints his pictures and writes in his journal all weekend. He said maybe this guy Jerry is right.
Howard said he didn't agree with the Sun City thing. He said maybe Jerry is right about buying all of this stuff from China and we're buying oil from the Saudis. Howard said he buys stuff from China all the time.
Howard said he's available to play golf for these guys then. He said he can't argue with this guy. Robins said the point is that we built the Iranian army and look what happened. Robin said we helped Afghanistan get the Russians out and look what happened. Robin said we knew who we were dealing with.
Howard said he once hit a 300 yard drive playing golf with Jimmy Kimmel. He said the golf pro saw it. He said it was like 260 or 270. He said he felt like he connected pretty well. He said he did it again and he was about 10 yards shorter. He said he's probably eligible for this golf league. He said he went to a golf course after that and he spent an hour and a half trying to get one ball in one hole. He said it was a nightmare. He said he's no natural. He said he did hit the ball far though. He said it was between 260 and 300 yards.
Howard said he was at this golf course because Jimmy Kimmel was getting married there. He said Jimmy brought him on a tour of the golf course and they went to hit some balls. He said Jimmy said it would be fun but he didn't think so. He said his wife was there and he didn't want to look like a klutz there. He said his wife was rescuing a turtle the other day and she was bent over and he said he wanted to have sex with her in that position. He said that he told her to just remember that and keep it in her memory bank.
Howard said he and Jimmy went to hit the balls and this pro came over and he saw how far he hit the ball. He said it was really far.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said this is fucking golf and that caller's point was bullshit. He said this Phil Mickelson makes a crazy amount of money and he doesn't have to go do it over there. Howard said the guy got into his head. Robin said the other guy was arguing that the Saudi league would make the PGA better.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Bernie Sanders. Bernie was explaining what's going on with the Saudis. He had all kinds of percentages that he was giving him to go over. Howard closed the door on him.
Ralph asked why he doesn't have the same empathy for Johnny Depp as he did for Michael Che when it comes to the women shit talking him in public. Howard said he wants his name taken off the list of people who supported Johnny Depp. He said he isn't a supporter of his. He said he's not sure what went on with those two. He said there was a lot of craziness going on there. He said he has no idea who is innocent of guilty. Ralph said he watched the trial and he knows. Robin said Ralph has the time to do that. Howard said it sounds like neither one of them were appropriate. He said Johnny is an angry guy when he's drunk. Ralph said that she was praying on him with that. Howard said he's not sure what she did. Ralph explained some of the stuff she did. Howard said she should have gotten the fuck out of the house. Ralph said she made a bunch of false claims and she used the #MeToo movement to go after him. Howard said he doesn't care about those two. He said he doesn't understand how Depp has the accent he has. He said he thinks he's not from this planet.
Howard asked Ralph some questions about the case like the shitting in the bed thing. Howard said he's not sure if she really did that or not. He said he really doesn't care about those two. He said he doesn't support one or the other. He said he doesn't want his name mentioned with them in any more articles.
Robin said that she saw that TMZ had the highlights of the trial. Howard said maybe he'll go and watch that and figure to who he thinks is telling the truth.
Howard said Post Malone is coming in and he saw him doing this Nirvana cover concert. He said the guy is really talented. He said a lot of his friends call him Postie. He said that he might call him that. He said that they'll learn more about him when they come back. Howard said they'll learn about his life and what it's like to be a star. He went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and gave the wrong song name since the guys told him it was Metallica. Howard said they played that before. He said just hand him a note saying it's Led Zeppelin.
Howard said this guy Post Malone is a young dude but he's sold millions of albums. He said he's had billions of streams. He said this is exciting. Post said it is for him too. Howard said he has to read some of his stats. He read about how many streams he's had which was 25 billion. Howard said that's astronomical. Howard read about his hit songs and his Grammy nominations. He said he has no wins though. Post said that's fine. He said he just keeps making the music he likes. He said he's ready to party whenever they are.
Howard asked if Post avoids living in L.A. because he lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. Post said it's weird to live there. He said it's interesting to look at it. He said he moved to L.A. at 18 and he came from Dallas. He said he wrote a whole album about that. He said he just had to take a step back and take a look at the mountains and shit. Howard asked if it was too intense for him emotionally. He said when he goes to L.A. everyone is talking about their career and gigs and stuff. He said there's an effort to impress each other and it made him cuckoo. Post said you think you meet a friend and you think they're a friend but then a month later you realize they're not a friend. He said he has had a rough time in L.A. and living in Salt Lake City has been nice. He said he has some nice property out there. He said he has his mom and dad, his girl and his dog and it's all great. Howard said he can't even find out who his girl is. Post said he's 26 now and he's a grown up and he's just trying to take care of his family.
Howard said he had Machine Gun Kelly on his show and he talked about going to his beer pong party. He said he must have a place in L.A. Post said that they're kind of nomadic there. He said they go where they need to go.
Howard said he has an actual league for his beer pong. Post said it's in the works. Howard said Machine Gun said he was at his beer pong league and he was all fucked up from that. He asked how you win and how you play. Post said you win by getting drunk. He said it's the best game in the world.
Howard asked what it's like for Post because he's been up all night and he's busy making a new album. Post said he is. He said for the longest time he forgot what it was like to enjoy music. He said he's sure Howard knows what that's like. He said it becomes a job and you wonder how to find your passion. He said it was nice to have a break with the pandemic. He said he figured out what made him happy. He said he figured out what made Austin happy. He said he found it and now he's back in the studio ready to rock and roll.
Howard said he risked everything in life to be a musician and when this hit him did he panic. He said if he didn't find the inspiration then it could be all over. Post said he's the luckiest guy in the world and whatever he can do to take care of his family he's going to do. He said he's lucky enough to be able to do that. He said he was thinking that this is kind of his thing and he wondered if it wasn't his thing anymore. He said he sat around and making music at home as a kid and it was fun. He said he lost that love but found it again and he's so grateful.
Howard asked what aspect of it that he was losing his love for. Post said he has made some of the shittiest songs of all time and he knows that. He said he still thinks he makes some shitty songs. He said there is always room to grow as a person and grow a as a musician. He said he thinks that his music could be better. He said that he thinks that he could make the hits even better now. Howard asked if he listens to the older material or does he turn it off and can't believe the shit he did. Post said it's not embarrassing but he's so shy. He said he hears his voice and hates it. He said Howard must feel that way sometimes. Howard said he does. He said he can't listen to an old show because of his voice and the material. He said he hates it.
Post said he's trying to learn and teach himself from that. He said this helps someone out in any way and it's the most beautiful thing in the world. He said that Howard and Robin do that with their show and it's beautiful.
Howard said he can't figure Post out. He said he read some stuff about him and there's a Post Malone who was the kid who was bullied and made fun of. He said he would wear a suit and tie to school sometimes. He said he was always different. He said he had the balls to be different. He said he was depressed and was clinically depressed. He said at the same time he was voted best dressed and most likely to be a rock star. He asked how you explain that. Post said he's not quite sure. He said he has always wanted to be different. He said they moved from New York to Dallas and his dad always wore a shirt and tie to work. He said he wanted to be like his dad. He said he got a lot of shit for that but they had a great time. He said it was him expressing himself. He said he loves his dad and they're growing up and going to school and being able to play music. He said he and Grant had so many great times. He said he and Grant made beats and they had so much fun doing it.
Howard said he says he was depressed as a kid and was he suicidal kind of depressed. Post said it was very tough to talk about. He said in middle school he was sitting alone at lunch and he didn't know what the fuck was going on. He said it's really tough to even talk about it. He said he had friends and he took them for granted. He said he didn't appreciate the love they gave to him. He said that there's always someone to talk about that stuff to. He said music took him out of that.
Howard asked if he's a prodigy because he didn't have any training. Howard said his father was a DJ and he turned him on to a lot of stuff. He said he was playing that guitar video game and that must have done something for him. He said that he sees that early video of him doing that Bob Dylan song and he's so good at it. He said he's a very proficient guitar player. Post said he had one guitar lesson. He said the guy was a beautiful man. He said you think about singers with vocal coaches. He said that he was always wanting to do things his own way. He said that lessons are great to learn but for him it was easier to learn by just sitting with himself and figuring it out. He said he wanted to figure out what he likes.
Howard asked how you train yourself that well and how much time do you do that. Post said that he was on UltimateGuitar.com a lot. He said he was either watching porn or going on that guitar web site. Howard said he could kick himself in his head for not learning guitar. He said that he can do that finger picking thing so well and you think you must have some sort of training. He asked if he was a good student. Post said he wasn't a good student. He said it's the 10,000 hour thing. He said he definitely doesn't have 10,000 hours. He said that he was jacking off a lot too. Howard said he has 10,000 hours of jacking off too.
Howard asked if he started to play with other students and then he got out there. Post said the first time he got drunk at Drew's house he started singing. He said he got drunk for the first time and he was drinking Ciroc Peach which is like the worst shit. He said that he was drunk and he started singing. He said getting drunk was the best feeling in the world. He said there were like 10 people there. He said his parents were so cool. He said they made sure they didn't drive or anything. He said he was 16 years old at the time. He said he means to say he was the legal age of 21. Howard said he's heard stories like that before. He said that they know they're going to get drunk so keep them at home.
Howard asked what he was playing for the first time. Post said he played Wicked Games by The Weeknd. He said people said he was really good.
Howard said he'd like to know how he writes music. He said he'd like to know because he'd like to do that. Howard said he read that he has a unique ability to come up with a melody by just playing him a beat. Howard asked if that's true. Post said he drinks a lot of beer and he goes into the booth and sings his ass off with some Autotune on. Howard said his guys came up with a beat for him to sing with. Howard said this is what the guys came up with. Howard played the beat they came up with. Post listened and he started to sing something. Post sang something that went along with the beat the guys came up with because it was something from another song.
Howard played another beat and Post listened to that for a little bit. He said they have to come up with 16 bars with that. Howard said he has no idea what that means. He said he wouldn't know what to do there. He said it's very confusing to him.
Howard said Post did a contest in high school and he did a cover of Umbrella. He said he won that contest.
Howard said Post had a song he posted on Soundcloud and that's how he got noticed. Howard asked what song that was. Post said it was White Iverson. Howard said he was just living at home and he posts the song there. He asked how soon people were listening to it. Post said it was instantly. Howard played some of the song. He asked if he had played it for anyone. Post said he had moved to L.A. with his friend Jason. He said he gave him everything. He said he went with him to just go to L.A. at 18. He said he graduated and went with his friend. He said that he told his parents he was leaving 2 weeks before he was going. He said he didn't know what to tell them. He said he had no plan. He said that he went to a studio out there and took the car there to go to the studio. He said he made the beat and he remembers coming up with the song. He said he would sit there as a teenager coming up with this stuff. He said it was good for him. He said he went and met a buddy and they stayed there to record the record. He said the night he was done he put it up. He said he had no reason not to.
Post said he had written everything but the second verse. He said they were trying to figure that out. He said they finally finished it and just dropped it. Howard asked how people even find out about the song. He asked how weird it is that he was getting a million streams in a month. He said he was and unknown guy. Post said it had a lot to do with this guy in Atlanta who was there when he dropped it. He said Fat Man Key is the most incredible guy in the world. He said he tweeted it and it went fucking nuts. He said it was wild. He said it was going nuts and he had people coming to him on Twitter and it was crazy. He said there's a lot of people who were showing him love. He said they believed in him and it was so cool. He said he had to remember that. He said that's what he had to rememberer when he was down during the pandemic. He said he found his love for music again.
Howard said they're celebrating his new album which is called Twelve Carat Toothache.
Howard said there's a lot there that can suck the love out of you. He asked f he feels the nerves now that the album is out. Post said no sir. He said he has a tendency to want as many people to hear it as possible and he wants to show his fans that he still wants to make music. He said he is concerned if people want to hear it. He said he's 26 now and he's had a bit of a run. He said he was just 18 when White Iverson dropped. He said a 10 year run would be good. He said that he had to say how he felt and had to express himself when he was doing this. He said he had to get that all out. He said he had to let it all out and speak from his heart on a record. He said he's grateful that one person has listened to it. He said he doesn't mind sales or streams. He said he just wants his fans to know that he's there for them.
Howard asked if he has been on tour during COVID. Post said it was stopped during COVID. He said the day before the tour stopped they were talking about COVID and it was some scary stuff. Howard said the fans haven't seen him at all then. He said he has to get out and play it for a live audience. Post said he has done shows. He said they're announcing a tour now. He said that he hopes that everyone takes care of themselves and they respect people around them. He said they're going to be going out but he has no idea when. He said you'd have to ask his boss. Howard asked who the boss is. Post said he has no idea.
Howard asked Post about his alcoholism and how that's going. Post said he's a responsible drinker now. He said he was at a really rough point. He said he was on the floor for weeks at a time. He said a lot of the inspiration for the album came from that. He said he just wants to express how he feels. Howard asked what he was drinking and how bad it was. Post said it was vodka and trying to hang in there. He said he was talking to people who weren't there. He said it was bad. Howard asked if he got help. Post said he never did but he has super people around him. He said he met a person who made him feel like a human being again. Howard asked if this is the girlfriend. Post said it is. Howard asked if she told him to straighten up or else. Post said it's not like that. He said that its the guidance into the light. He said that she knows that he can be someone who isn't like that and she saved his fucking life. He said it's pretty epic.
Howard said he did it in a way that he didn't have to go into a program and he got it under control. Post said yes sir. Post said he loves to drink beer but the hard liquor is what got him. He said he used to be a miserable fuck. He said it would go and go and he would try to chase that. He said you try to chase that feeling of the first time you got drunk and you never get it. Howard said there are some happy drunks out there. He said there are some that are miserable. He said they fuck with everyone. He said that the anger comes spewing out. Post said he has hurt so many people by being a turd. He said that's not who he is and he doesn't want to do that. He said every day you should be better than the person you were the day before. Howard said he believes that. He said you can start to believe you're entitled to things when you get famous. He said for him to say that he's abusing his fame is a big step in his life. He said that makes him a better man. Post said he does that every day. He said it's hard though. He said it's throwing away the anger and everything that comes with over drinking. He said he should be celebrating his life and take care of everyone around him. He said it was an interesting transition.
Post said he was a turd in his life and now he just wants to be a better person. He said he just doesn't want to be a dick. Howard said Justin Bieber gave him a break and took him on tour. He said he loves the guy. He asked if there were dudes like that who could turn to him and tell him he's fucking up or did he have to figure it out on his own. Post said you just know. He said it got to that point when he knew. He said he's still listening and working on things. He said at the end of the day he's going to do what he wants to do. He said that's what he's working on now. He said he has issues with being told what to do. He said people can see when things are wrong. He said he feels like he's in high school trapped in his room. He said he needs to do a lot less talking and a lot more listening. He said he's learning every day.
Howard said this rebellious thing in him is what got him to the top. He said he said fuck you and went to L.A. and he told people fuck you when they said he can't be a rock star. He said that's always been his way so it has to be tough to get around that. Post said he has learned that you have to treat people the way you want to be treated. He said listen to what people have to say. He said at least listen. He said if you don't agree that's fine but just listen.
Howard said he didn't learn as early as Post did. He said he was always against radio guys. He said that he now knows that he loves radio guys. He said he should love them because they love doing what he does. He said there's no reason to be angry with them. Post said he's not in competition with other musicians. He said everyone can listen to what the fuck they want to listen to. He said that's the way he looks at it now.
Howard said in the 60s and 70s that's the way it was. He said everyone would hang out and jam. He said it was more of a community but then things got competitive. He said there's no reason to be competitive. He said everyone can do what they want. Post said it would be fucking awesome if it worked that way. He said we've all had number 1 hits and made a living at it. He asked why hate on someone's success. He said there's no reason to hate on someone else. He said that's what he has learned in this past 2 years. He said he doesn't care if he's number 1 on streaming services. He said it's fucking epic when someone has a number 1 song.
Howard said Post loves country music and he's covered songs. He said he doesn't do it though. Post said he could do that. He said he might get in trouble with the record company if he just did it. He said that there's a lot of running around and thinking and he would have to write those songs. He said he might have to split his time between a lot of things if he did that. He said he is obligated to do concerts and things like that for his fans. He said he is obligated to write music and make beats by himself. He said he has to take care of his family and everyone. He said there's a lot of time there. He said finding that space to allot that time. He said maybe he could do that some day. He said he's making crazy shit right now. He said he has the time so he's doing that right now.
Howard asked what it's like in that studio he's at. He said he was recording last night. Post said it's tonight. He said that he woke up at 2:30 in the afternoon and went to kiss his baby girl and then went to work. Howard asked if he has a daughter. Post said he does. Howard said he didn't know that. He said that's on the QT. Howard asked what he did after that. Post said he went out to play some Apex Legends and then looked at some Magic the Gathering cards. He said he once spent $800,000 on a card. Howard said that's wild. Post said it was an artist print that was signed. Howard asked if his father ever smacks him around about that. Post said the first time his dad knew he was out of hand he bought a pair of Versace slippers for $800. He said he spent a month's pay on shoes and his dad told him he was nuts. He said he was like 15 at the time. Howard asked if he's still doing that kind of stuff or is he saving. Post said he's saving now. He said he's cut back on the spending. Howard said he once spent $8,000 on Popeye's biscuits. Post said he got them for free so he dint pay for them.
Howard got back to his day yesterday and asked about what he does after playing Apex Legends. He said that has to be fun. He said that's a beautiful thing. Post said he looks at his black lotus card too. Howard said he has a gun collection too. He said he has cars too. Howard said he has cool homes and all of that. He said he's spent but now he's in save mode. Post said he is. He said he wants to be on Shark Tank so he can invest in something and make some money.
Howard said he's talked to other people about writing songs and he must have songs come to him playing games. Post said he actually writes his songs in the can. Howard said when he's shitting it relaxes him. Post said about 30 percent of his songs have been written on the shitter. He said maybe 60 percent of his lyrics are on the can.
Post asked how long his longest shit is. Howard said he gets on and off the toilet. He said he shits and gets off the can. He said he should learn from him. He said if he's writing hit songs on the can then just let it happen. Post said he's in there for an hour and a half or 2 hours. Howard said he has to be careful doing that. He said he has to worry about hemorrhoids and stuff.
Howard asked if he sings into the phone or something. Post said he has a digital note pad he writes in. He said he would lose it if he wrote on paper. He said he has to keep a lighter around his neck or he'd lose it. Howard asked if he's pushing the whole time on the toilet. Post said that's his special zone. He said no one wants to talk to you while you're taking a shit. He said no one at all. Howard asked if the girlfriend or wife comes to him. He said that she's his fiancee. Howard asked if she ever calls him out on that. Post said that's his thing. He said that it's not a hideaway but more of an oasis. He said it's his special spot. He said one time his mom was pooping and she had a candle on the toilet. He said it lit her hair on fire. He said he was hesitating to save her life while that was going on.
Howard asked if he ever lets the fiancee come into the bathroom. Post said sure. He said that he's not afraid. He said he never sees it but he would be fine with it. Howard said don't do that. He said it ruins the whole thing. Post said he's playing with fire like his mother did.
Howard said he read about how he took some shrooms and that got him into writing again. Howard said that doesn't go with the new responsible Post Malone. He asked if that's taken him out of the whole sober thing. Post said he only does it in the studio. He said that's the rule. Howard said no wonder he's in the studio. He asked if he loves shrooms. Post said he likes them. He said he actually does love them.
Howard said he has to ask about the cigarettes. He said that he's smoking a lot. Post said he smokes maybe 2 packs a day. Robin said he has had a pack while he's been on. Post said he's smoked 6. He said he's nervous. Howard said he knows. He said he was a smoker. He said he talks to Billy Joel about it too. He said it's a shame he smokes with that voice of his. Howard said he used to think he looked cool smoking. He said he stopped as soon as he got on radio. He said they have to get him off the cigarettes. He asked what the plan is. Post said he used to smoke inside his house but now it's only outdoors. Howard said he was able to quit when he started doing Transcendental Meditation. He said he had no desire to smoke after that. Post said that he doesn't want anyone telling him what to do. He said he likes smoking but he is working on it. Howard said he'll take his word for it.
Howard said he got turned on to him when he saw him do that Nirvana tribute. He said he thought that guy is fucking talented when he saw that. He said that they went into this room and they got into dresses and played some Nirvana songs. He said they were doing the whole album. He said he blew him out of the room with his talent. Howard asked how much rehearsal time he did. Post said for him it was 3 days. He said the other guys just came in and did it with him. He said they just figured it out. Howard said that's what professionals can do. Post said he fucks it up every time though. Howard asked why he had to go to Courtney Love to get her blessing. Post said they went to Kurt's daughter to get her blessing. He said Kurt means a lot to him so he could never want to offend anyone by trying to show support. He said he wanted to make sure everything was okay and it was okay. He said they raised money for a good cause and they played some really epic songs.
Howard said he has ''stay away'' tattooed on his face and that's from Kurt Cobain. Post said that wasn't his first tattoo on his face. Howard said he got tattoos but when you get a face tattoo you're either out of your mind or you're a criminal. He said that dudes are doing it all the time now. Howard asked if the artist warned him not to do this. Post said things went normal. He said he was sober and the tattoo guy was sober. He said it was all good. Howard asked if he regrets anything about the tattoos. Post said not at all. He said it all takes him back to a time in his life. He said sorry to his mom. Howard said his mom freaked out when he got an earning. He said that his mother freaked out about that and then he to a tattoo. He said she said his body was her body.
Howard asked if he thinks that he's really ugly or does he have that a defense system. Post said he thinks that he's an ugly dude. Howard said he feels that way about himself. He said he feels bad for him because he knows what that's like. He said all he sees is ugly. Post said Howard has a nice smile and he thinks he's a good looking guy. Howard said they should get together and just blow each other.
Howard said he wants to know more about his day and writing songs. He asked if they go to the studio after the video games. Post said he does. He said that he kisses his daughter again and he goes to the studio. He said he gets there to the studio and then they do the shrooms. Howard said then he's on his way to writing. Howard asked how long it takes to get there. Post said it's like 30 minutes. Howard said no wonder he likes going to the studio. He said he can say he's not doing shrooms outside the studio because he's in the studio all the time.
Howard said he was less scared of him after he saw that Nirvana tribute. He said he thought he was a bad mother fucker with the face tattoos but he's really the sweetest fucking guy. He said he heard today he's going to do a cover song. He said he wondered what he was going to do. He said he's covering ''Better Man'' by Pearl Jam. Howard said that's fantastic because he's really trying to be a better man. Howard said what a morning they're having.
Howard gave Post some plugs for his upcoming tour in September. He said he's on tour with Roddy Rich. Post said he knew that. He didn't know the dates though. Howard played a song from the new album called ''Couped Up.''
Howard gave him more plugs and let him go pee before he did this song. Howard talked to this guy Andrew who was playing guitar for him today. Howard let Post go to the bathroom and spent a minute talking to Andrew. Howard asked if he's going to be doing the shrooms with Post. Andrew said yes at first but then said his Jewish mother wouldn't like that so he doesn't do that.
Howard asked Andrew about working with Ozzy Osbourne on some stuff. They talked about Ozzy breaking his neck and getting surgery today. Howard had no idea about that. Andrew told Howard how that all came about.
Howard told Post he was just talking to Andrew about working with Ozzy and that was a nice collaboration. Post said that was a big deal.
Howard asked Andrew if Better Man is a hard song to play. Andrew said it is but it also plays itself. Howard asked why this song today. Post said he remembers his brother Jordan who was stationed in Hawaii and they went to see him when he was 12 or 13 and he played this song while they were driving around. He said he's been thinking about that a lot lately. He said that's why he's playing that song. Post said his brother is a beautiful man and he introduced him to Pearl Jam. Howard said Eddie is a beautiful man. He said that guy is something else. Post said he can't wait to crack a beer with him. Howard said get him in the studio and do shrooms with him.
Howard said they've worked this out and Post is going to sing and Andrew is going to play guitar on ''Better Man.'' He had them perform the song after that.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. He said he has to go sit on the toilet and get his shit together. He said he's making him feel like a shlub. Howard said there's something about these guys Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden... He said there's just something about that music. He said there was so much great music being written. Post said he was born in 1995 and he came across that stuff later. He said it really just made him feel. He said that it's some incredible stuff.
Howard said the guys are going to do a song called ''Reputation'' and that's on the new album. Howard asked what the song is about. Post said it's about the dark times in his life. He said it's the weight that he felt as a kid going out and touring. He said he had this responsibility on his shoulders and he had to get it out.
Howard said hi to Louis who was working with Post on the new album in the studio. Howard asked about their writing process and how that works. Louis said they have this unspoken thing and he wants him to pick things up from him. He said he'll pick up on some cues and some higher power works with them on these things. Howard asked how they met. Post said they were friends on PornHub. Howard asked what kind of porn they like. Howard said he likes step mom stuff. Louis said he likes something with music.
Louis told Howard that their managers knew each other and set them up together. He said they just clicked from the start.
Howard asked Louis about writing with Post and Louis told him how the process works with the beat and how Post will just start in. Howard wanted to hear a beat so he can try to write something with him. Louis played something on piano for him and Howard started singing about wanting some mushrooms. Post said that's the hottest shit he's ever heard.
Howard gave them more plugs for the new album and this new song ''Reputation.'' Howard said as an artist you have to be able to tap into emotion and he just can't do that. He said he doesn't like to think about that stuff. He said he wants to look away and not be affected by it. Howard said Post has to cry it out and get into it and write about pain in his life. Post said there was tears writing this song. He said as soon as he heard the piano by Lou he was stunned. He said he figured why not just sing his heart out about how he felt. He said the song is great.
Howard asked how long Louis has been sitting on this beat. Louis said he came up with it that night and he could hear Post on it. Howard had the guys get into the song ''Reputation'' a short time later.
After the song Howard said that was a beautiful song. He said he had chills the whole time. He said that must be tough to sing. Post said it is. Howard said he felt everything he wanted him to feel in that song. He said that song didn't exist until they got together in studio. He said it's insanely good. Howard said he must be proud of that song. Post said it's one of his favorites he's ever written. He said it's the first time he's performed it live. He said that it's great to uplift people with music.
Howard said it has to be amazing to write a song like that. Robin said that people are able to relate to that kind of song. Post said that he's doing well now and he's very happy to be there.
Howard asked if Post ever thinks about dropping the whole Post Malone name and go with Austin. He said it's weird with names like that. He said it can get confusing. Post said Postie came from his football coach. Howard said he can call him Sir. He said he's been calling him that the whole time. Robin said he was calling her ma'am the whole time. Howard said that's part of his whole thing. Post said that's part of his programming.
Howard said this was fun. He said that new song is a monster. He said he loves it. He said it was nice meeting everyone there. Howard said the new album Twelve Carat Toothache demands to be heard. He said it was mostly written on the toilet. He said he taught him a lot today. He said he never knew he could write on the toilet.
Howard gave Post more plugs for the upcoming tour and all of that. Post thanked them for having them on. Howard said Post talked about how he's seen aliens. Post said they're everywhere. Howard said he doesn't. Post said they could talk about that another day like tomorrow. Howard said it's been so long it is tomorrow already. He let them go a short time later.
Robin said she's going to be singing that song and crying all day today. Howard said she's unstable over there. He said that was a real special moment. Howard wrapped up and encouraged people to vote in their state primaries if they're coming up. Howard said we have to get this shit straightened up. He said vote if you think like he does.
Howard ended the show around 11:00am.
Howard said he's in a good mood today. He said he went online and played chess yesterday. He said there are people who will reject him and not play but if they knew he was Howard Stern they would play him. He said it bothers him that they won't play him. He said he was playing someone and he ended up in a draw. He said it will haunt him now. He said he plays it over in his head and he can't get over it. He said when he does something dumb he feels like a moron. He said he sees chess as a sign of intelligence. He said he talked to Dr. Lou about it and he said his hands would shake with every move. Howard said he was right. He said it was so important for him to win that he would go crazy over it. He said you can't win if you can't lose.
Robin said you have to be willing to lose to learn from it. She said a lot of adults have that problem because they can't learn from that. She said kids just go out and throw themselves into things because they haven't suffered anything from losing.
Howard said with painting he's willing to humble himself. He said when it comes to chess he can't. Robin said when you're doing it with another human being then that's a different story. Howard said when it comes to chess he had to stop cold turkey. He said he still likes to see if he can play. He said when he loses he gets so upset. He said his wife is sleeping. He said they had just finished the show Hacks on HBOMax. He said he finished the last episode of season 2 and the woman who plays Deborah Vance is very good. He said she's the older woman who still likes to work. He said she's some actress. He said her name is Gene Smart. He said what a wonderful actress. He said what a great cast. He said he and Beth were watching it and they saw the last episode. He said they were so upset.
Howard said he watches manly shows like James Bond. He said he put that on before Beth came in. He said she doesn't want to see that. He said she tests him to see if he'll stop watching his show to watch something with her. He said they watched Hacks and it was only 7 episodes this season. He said it's such a good show. Robin said she can't watch it. Howard said she should.
Howard said he hasn't seen Obi Wan Kenobi yet. He said he lost interest in it when he started making the 3 new ones after the 3 originals. He said he fucked the whole thing up. He said now they've reinvented it. He said he started watching Obi Wan and he knows he was a good guy. He said you have to remember so much history in Star Wars he can't watch it. He said he doesn't remember it all. Robin said they almost show the whole movie before this show. She said it's ridiculous. Howard said maybe Jason or Mike Trainor would know about this. He asked Mike to come on. He asked what the plot is. Howard said he was a good guy. Howard went through it with Mike.
Howard and Mike were going through the old movies and the new movies and what the history of Obi Wan and Anakin was and how this series fits into the whole thing. Howard said Obi Wan was watching over Luke Skywalker and why is that going on. Mike said the series starts and you an see that he's watching Luke to see if he's safe. He said he's down in the dumps when they first see him in this. He said in Star Wars he's ready to get into an adventure. He said this series is to see how he gets from episode 3 to episode 4.
Mike said Darth Vader comes up a few times in the show and here is some controversy over that. He explained that to Howard and Howard said he's lost him now. Mike said he didn't want to spoil anything for anyone watching.
Howard said he thinks he's over being a nerd. He said he likes nerdy things but he thinks he's done. He said he has had it with Spider-Man and he didn't like it. He said he will watch any super hero thing and he didn't like Spider-Man: No Way Home. He said they have to have some character development. He said he wanted to kill this one. He said he couldn't handle it.
Howard answered a knock at the door and fake George Lucas came on to talk about Obi Wan. George went into detail about the prequel movies. Howard said don't take this the wrong way but he's going to smack him in the head. Howard closed the door on him and George kept talking. George said the force is strong with him. Howard closed the door on him again. He was still there. He said he had his hologram there. He said he's the phantom menace. Howard closed the door on him a couple more times and finally got rid of him.
Robin said they say this is the biggest story ever told but it's between this and the Marvel movies. Howard said the nerds are into this thing and you've probably seen it online. He said there's this ASMR thing where people whisper into the microphone. He said there's also this thing now that's really douchy. He said it's people reacting to trailers. He said that people video themselves reacting to these movie trailers. He said it really annoys him and it's almost to the same level as ASMR stuff. Howard said this is for the movie ''Black Adam'' with The Rock. He said he has to be a super hero. He said they had to find something for him to play. He said Black Atom was a black guy who could shrink down to the size of an atom but this is ''Adam'' and not Atom. He said it's some obscure character from DC. Mike knew a little bit about it so he told Howard what he knew. He said the trailer looked alright.
Howard said he thought it was a black guy and it turns out it's a white guy named The Rock. Robin said he's not white. Howard asked what he is. He said he's white. Robin said he's Samoan. Mike said he thinks he's half black and half Samoan. Howard said fake news. He said all he knows is he travels around with gym equipment to every movie role he does.
Howard said the Rock's father is black and his mother is Samoan. He said he didn't know that. He said he looks white to him. He said he doesn't see color. He said everyone looks white to him. He said he didn't know Dave Chappelle was black, he thought he was white.
Howard said this is people reacting to the movie trailer for ''Black Adam.'' He played the clip and the guys were freaking out over what they were seeing. They love The rock. Howard said he can't believe people are that into The Rock. He said they're reacting way over the top to get subscribers. He said they have over 34,000 views. He said he's gotten laid and never got that excited. He said he never freaked out like that over anything. He said the trailer didn't look that great either. Mike said they have live commercial reads for some of these guys online.
Howard said a lot of the reactors are fat bearded dudes with action figures behind them. He said sometimes it's women and this one woman is Catherine LaSalle and she's reacting to the Obi Wan trailer. Howard said there's something wrong with these people. Howard played a clip of her crying over the trailer. She was freaking out and saying she was going to throw up over it. Howard asked what happens when a real life tragedy happens. He said it's not even a movie trailer but a TV show trailer. Robin said she's heard reactions like that and it's usually when someone wins the lottery.
Howard asked if you can imagine what this woman is doing when she sees the show. He said she must set herself on fire. He said he has to see a reaction video of her watching the whole show. He said you'd have to call 911 for her.
Howard said he doesn't think there has been anything better than fucking a woman in his life and he's never had a reaction that big to even that. He said he doesn't even make noise during it. Howard said he doesn't get it when guys make noise. He said he just counts his blessings. He said he has fucked some good looking women and maybe he should be making noises.
Howard said this is a woman named JenTccc. He said she's watching Avatar 2 and she admits she's seen the trailer in the theaters but she's watching it with you for the first time. Howard said this is her reacting to it. He played a clip of this woman freaking out to what she's seeing.
Howard said you see this and you wonder what's wrong with you not reacting like that. He played the woman freaking out about the trailer that she had already seen. Mike said he saw that trailer and it kind of bombed in the movie theater.
Howard said there's this guy named Black Nerd who is watching a Sonic the Hedgehog trailer. He said this guy reacted negatively. He said this guy said it didn't look enough like the original hedgehog. Mike said they actually changed the design and made him look like the original. He said people were freaking out about the original design. Howard played the clip of the guy reacting to it. He was laughing and making weird noises as he was seeing it. Then he said Sonic looks weird.
Robin said this is all very juvenile. Howard said it's just a movie. Mike said these guys get into stuff when they're 10 and they want to see it over and over the rest of their lives. Howard said he watches a girl who is a journaler and she got some Pokemon stickers and she went berserk. He said she was freaking out about Pokemon. He said then she takes them and glues them into her journal. He said that's the end game. He said how about learning to draw Pokemon or something.
Howard said this guy Black Nerd seems like a nice guy but he's so excited about this Hedgehog thing. He said if he talked to a real hedgehog he wouldn't get that excited.
Howard said maybe the guy is on the spectrum. He said this JenTccc is good looking and doesn't seem like she's on the spectrum. Mike said this stuff comes out really fast too. He said not all of it is that good to listen to. He said these are just the more entertaining clips.
Howard said on the phone is someone watching the new Mr. Bean trailer. He had her react to the trailer. The guys had a porn clip of a woman and a guy banging. Howard said he has to see Mr. Bean. He said he made that woman squirt.
Howard said he has to ask a real question about this. He said if people are making big money doing this reacting to movies then people are going to just react to the trailers and not make movies. He said he knew Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert and they were great writers and movie critics. He said they would write articles about movies and now it's just reacting to trailers.
Howard did an impression of people reacting to the trailers. He answered a knock at the door and it was fake Jeff Goldblum who was watching his own movie Jurassic Park. Fake Jeff was reacting to that and talking about what he's seeing there and getting all worked up over it. Howard closed the door on him a short time later.
Howard said when he watched the Bachelor season finale he reacted to that. He played a clip the guys put together with his fake reaction to the finale.
Howard said Beth was so turned on by that. Robin said while they were away they announced the American Idol winner. Howard did his fake reaction to that. He said he had a really bad reaction to that. He said he didn't want that guy to win. He said he wanted Leah Michelle. He said if she had he would have freaked out.
Robins said he keeps his personal life really quiet and what made the news is that he had a baby girl. Howard said he didn't know it was big news. He said he saw it hit the news yesterday. He said it's good that it will help promote the album. Howard said he did this song ''Reputation'' yesterday. He played some of that and said he got chills already. He said that's a good artist. He said his nips are hard. He said when they get hard he smells money. Robin said that's a reaction. Robin said her skin is tingling. Howard said she's like Spider-Man. Robin said she has spidey sense.
Howard said the big news is that he has a daughter and he's engaged. Robin said he still hasn't said who this woman is either. Howard said he was for real when he told him he's a good looking guy. He said he put tattoos all over his face thinking he's an ugly guy. He said he suffers from the same affliction.
Howard said the fans wrote in about Post Malone too. Howard played some of his ''better Man'' cover. He said he enjoyed the whole thing. Howard said Chris Wilding says he plays the song ''Circles'' and he thinks about his ex-boyfriend. He asked if he'd react to it now if he plays it. Chris said probably not. He said maybe he would. He stared crying over it just thinking about it. He said that he wasn't so much in love with the guy but it's about abandonment issues and things like that. He said it's about his past. He said his father wasn't around and all of that bullshit. Howard said he didn't know his father wasn't around. Chris said it's not about the love for that guy but people aren't around and he feels abandoned. He said his dad left when he was around 2 years old and he was n and out of his life until he was 8 or 9. He said he told his dad not to come around if he wasn't going to be there for him when he needs him. He said his dad stopped showing up and basically blocked him out.
Howard said Chris falls a little too fast. He said he was into this dude and opening up his asshole to him. Chris said he knew him for a few years. He said COVID didn't help any of that. He said he was a mess from this whole thing. Howard asked why he gave him his asshole so easily. He said he was just rushing into things. Howard asked if his dad is still around. Chris said he's still alive as far as he knows. He hasn't spoken to him in about 10 years though.
Howard played some of the song 'Circles'' and Chris started to laugh but also cry. He asked what the fuck. He said he hasn't been sleeping either so that doesn't help. Howard asked why he didn't know this when Post was there. He said he would have played it for him when Post was there. Chris said he never would have come back. He said he would have thought Howard is a weird guy with a weird staff. He said he's not even sure if it's supposed to be a song you cry to. Howard said he doesn't know either. Chris started laughing and crying again. He said he's thinking about fling to go see the guy and how things were going. He said then love went cold. He said he's so fucked up. Howard said this is a real reaction video. He said this is the guy you should follow.
Chris said when he would audition for parts he was never able to cry on demand but now he's doing that.
Howard answered a knock at the door and fake George Takei said he would like to be Chris' daddy. He said he can wipe his nose on his penis and they can walk in circles. Howard said Chris isn't his type. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard took a call from Chris' ex. The fake ex, who sounded like Ham Hands Bill, was talking about what he would do to him. Howard said he really does love him. Chris said this is making him upset actually. Howard said of course. Howard let the Panamanian boyfriend go a short time later.
Howard took a call from Ralph and asked him what he makes of all of this. Ralph said he feels bad for Chris. He said that the iPhone makes memories for you and Chris keeps getting videos of him and his boyfriend from when they were on vacation. He said it's set to Fleetwood Mac's ''Go Your Own Way.'' Howard asked why he doesn't hide the photos. Chris said there are a lot of them. Howard said he's going to play the song now. Chris said that will make him cry. Ralph said he's not sure why he does this to himself. Fred played ''Go Your Own Way'' and some crying clips. Howard said Chris was so close to finding love. Chris said it's not even about that. Ralph said the guy must have fucked him really good. Chris said he did. He said he was so loving.
Howard asked how many guys he spread his cheeks for. Chris said there was one guy before this one. Chris said that they fucked so hard they banged a hole in the wall from the bed hitting it. He said the guy was average sized but it still hurt. He said it's like a baby kicking in your stomach. Robin asked how he knows that feeling. Chris said he's imagining it.
Howard asked if he's heard from him at all. Chris said no. He said he ghosted him. He said that they were going to break up either way but it's still devastating. He said he's addicted to that kind of drama and he hates that. Howard played more of the ''Circles'' song and got Chris crying more. Howard said he has no emotion at all and he's living through him vicariously. He said his shrink tries to get him to react like this. He said he's fascinated by this. Chris said it's certain smells and songs that trigger him. He said he can hear a song that can send him back to a place in his life. He said he was just getting back into the world after being vaccinated. Howard said he's a sensitive man. Chris said he's too sensitive. He said he can fly off the handle a lot. He said it's not good.
Howard had fake Jennifer Witz on the line to talk to Chris. She told Chris that this is radio gold so keep it up. She had her own reaction video and it was her laughing at all of this. Howard let her go while she was laughing at him. Chris said he misses Jim. Howard told him to go back to crying.
Howard said the fans did weigh in with Post Malone. He read through some feedback about his appearance. He had a bunch of positive comments about that appearance.
Howard said his take on musicians and comedians is that they're very in touch with their emotions. He said there are some comedians who are so pissed off and they get their mojo from that.
Howard said someone told him about Chris Cornell talking to him about making music in his bathroom. He said this is from 2014. He played a clip from the show where Chris talked about writing songs in his bathroom.
Howard said his dad would shit at the same time during the week. He said he didn't like to shit at work and he would come home and eat his dinner ravenously. He said he had a 2 hour commute from the city to Long Island. He said Roosevelt was a trek. He said that he would get home and he'd eat and yell at him at he same time. Howard said he'd ask questions during dinner and get yelled at. He said his dad would review his day and then go to the bathroom. He said he would run up the steps to go to the bathroom. He said maybe he got porn. He said he would be in there for a good hour. He said the whole upstairs would smell like shit. He said he doesn't think he ever gave a courtesy flush.
Howard said he hears Chris talking about his dad abandoning him and he wishes his dad had done that. He said he remembers the shitting that would go on. He said he was in there a long time and the shit smelled like it was in there a long time. He said he was in there doing anything but writing a song.
Howard said he was worried about her thinking about her being over in Ukraine. He said he was trying to find Post Malone's fiancee and he wasn't able to find anything. He said there's nothing out there. He said you don't know who the girlfriend is.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Dan Rather who was reporting on Ellison Barber. Dan said that this woman has real courage. He said he watches her and he gets blood flow. Howard said she was also outside the Capitol building on January 6th and she could have gotten hurt here. Dan said that shows her dedication. He said she's the hottest thing he's ever witnessed. Howard asked it can be too distracting to him and people who watch. Dan said that he would be distracted if he was out in the field. He said in his day the had Connie Chung. He said it was not easy to beat off to her. Howard said he beat off to her a lot. He let him go a short time later.
Howard said he was impressed with Ellison Barber being over there. Robin said now she has to go watch and see who this person is. Howard said it's shocking to him when someone that good looking is willing to go over there to a war zone. Robin said not all hot women are having good lives. She said there are hot women all over the place and not all of them get out of their little towns and make it. Howard said he finds that hard to believe that hot women aren't having good lives. Howard said if you're hot and not having a good life then you're doing something wrong.
Howard read more about Ellison's marriage that happened in March. He said that he always watches that Katy Tur. He said he saw a report on her yesterday. He said she wrote a book about her parents who were reporters in Los Angeles and they had a helicopter so she flew around in that a lot. He said that her parents are the ones who were following OJ around in his Bronco. He said she talks about how she hasn't spoken to her father in like 10 years. He said then she says that her dad became a woman. He said this guy became a woman and he was wondering about this woman's life because it sounds like the most interesting thing. He said he might have to get her book. Howard said evidently she says that her dad was abusive and he'd throw batteries at his wife. Howard said he evidently punched walls and stuff. He said he claims that it's from being bottled up and wanting to be a woman. He said she was shocked. He said he thinks that she was pissed at her father for the violent attitude and not the transitioning thing. Howard said her dad called her up and said he was going to become a woman.
Howard said if his father called and told him that it would have been great. He said his dad never called him for anything. He said his dad never called for anything. Robin said he had to have called at least once in his life. Howard said a couple of times to get advice from him. He said he called to ask about what he should be paid in Detroit. He said his dad would call back but he would never just call to ask how he was doing. He said the idea that Katy Tur's dad would call to let her know sounds loving to him. He said his dad would never do that for him.
Howard made up a whole conversation with his transitioning dad would sound like. He was doing his impression of his dad sounding just like usual but telling him he's his mother now.
Howard said his father never would have called about any of that. He said he would have just come home and his dad would have been a woman. He made up more of that transition conversation. He was asking his dad about how they turned his penis into a vagina and things like that.
Howard said he was watching this Katy Tur thing and her dad becomes a woman and now she's not in touch. He said they went to interview her dad. He said she has a woman's ass but she still looks like a man. He said he's not sure if she did an implant thing with her ass. He said she changed her name from Bob to Zoe Tur. He said he became transgender. He said they call her Zo but it's spelled Zoe. Howard said he pulled some clips because it was fascinating. Howard played a clip of Katy Tur talking about her dad being abusive. He had some audio of Zoe talking about how he wants to make Katy feel better and feel vindicated and he's happy to do that for her. He said he loves her that much. Howard said he's like his mom. He said she'd say something like that. Howard did his impression of his mother talking about how hard she tried with him.
Howard said it was kind of fascinating. He said he has this other clip to play. He said it's this woman Zoe Tur treating a conservative guy. Howard said it's Ben Shapiro and Ben called her ''he'' and he said he would choke him out if he called him ''sir'' again. Howard played the clip and Zoe said that if he kept that up he'd go home in an ambulance. Howard said it was one of those things. He said that she got pissed off. Howard said he felt for Katy Tur while he was watching that. He said this is what he was caught up in watching yesterday.
Howard said his day was pretty full between that and trying to find Ellison Barber bikini pictures.
Robin said she went to a wedding this weekend. Howard asked if she's nuts. He asked if she wore a mask. Robin said no. She said everyone had to be tested. Howard said he's shocked. He said with her immune system she went to a wedding. Howard said she was told not to do anything like that. Howard said her doctor told her not to. Robin said they did not. Howard said he knows what did it. He said it was that Jeff Bridges getting COVID. Robin said it wasn't that. She said she didn't hear about that until this morning. Robin said she can't stay alone the rest of her life. She said she had to go. Howard said that's a big jump. Robin said she has had lunch with people outdoors. Howard said don't talk to him about this. He said he worked so hard to save her life and now she's throwing it all away. Robin said she went and she'll be fine. Howard asked if the wedding was indoors. Robin said the reception was. Howard said goodbye to her. He asked if she's out of her fucking mind. Robin said she is. She said it's true. Howard said he doesn't believe it.
Howard asked who it was. Robin said it was the daughter of a friend who she knows very well. Howard said he wouldn't even go to his own daughter's wedding at this point. He asked if she was nervous. Robin said it was an undertaking. She said it took a lot of thought. Robin they took a lot of precautions. She said she had elderly parents there so they had everyone tested. She said they had to have a test that they were able to email. She said it wasn't home tests. Howard asked why they didn't test everyone at the door. Robin said they did it this way because that's the way they wanted to do it. She said they had a doctor there and he had more tests there.
Howard said Robin has a compromised immune system so she shouldn't be going. Robin said he had a shot a month ago.
Gary said Robin gave him so much shit just 7 days ago about going out. He said he went to an outdoor concert. Robin said he's been going to concert after concert.
Gary asked why he can't roll the dice like Robin is rolling the dice. Robin said she rolls the dice just getting into a car. Robin said Gary is out there and no one is tested where he goes. She said he's running around without a mask on. Gary said that's just not true.
Howard took a call from the groom from the wedding. He was in the hospital with the machines beeping and going flat line.
Howard took a call from Robin's friend who said that he's being silly and she's got allergies so that's where the sniffles were coming from. Robin said no one had the sniffles at the wedding.
Howard said Robin was his only ally in this and now she's gone off on her own. He said he won't come out of the jungle with the war still going on. He said he's all by himself fighting the good fight.
Howard said his wife is going to a lunch and he's nervous about it. He said he knows this friend and he knows she's living her life fully. He said he's going to call Beth and ask if she's going to be careful today. He said that will set her off. He said she's not responding to him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he went to a wedding last week in England. Howard said he doesn't want to hear it. He said Robin has a compromised immune system.
Beth came in so Howard told her what they're talking about. Beth got her finger caught in the headphones so he asked what she did. He said he's been in radio 40 years and never did that.
Howard said he was telling Robin about the lunch she's having today. He said they're having lunch at this friend's house and he asked her to be careful. Beth said she gets so mad at him when he says that. Howard asked why. Beth said she's going to go to the house and get a tour of the house with a mask on. She said then they're going outside to the garden and having lunch out there. She said she's going to have a lovely lunch with her. Howard asked if she's going to lean in to hear her voice or sit far away. Beth said she will sit and if she doesn't hear her she will ask her to repeat. Howard asked if she's going to have to keep asking. Beth said she won't. She said it's just the two of them.
Howard asked if she can believe Robin went to a wedding. Beth said she didn't know that. Howard said this woman is in the fight of her life and she went to a wedding. Beth said she's shocked. She said they had a conversation with Dr. Agus the other day and if it was outside that's fine. Howard said it wasn't. Beth said that you have to live your lives and Dr. Agus said you have to be careful indoors.
Howard hit the dump button on Beth saying the name of this person she's going to lunch with.
Howard had fake Dr. Fauci on the line to talk about that for a minute. Beth said this morning Howard said he was looking forward to their walk today. She said that he told her that he was going to tell her something that he had never told her before. She said that he knew that they weren't going to be able to walk today. She said she's not going to be there for their walk. Howard said he did tell her she's going to miss something. He said he'll call Robin instead when he goes on his walk.
Howard asked Beth to please be careful. Beth said she's always careful. Howard said you have to hear what she did the other day. He said Beth had to do an adoption for a cat so he drove her to the adoption. He said he kept quiet and observed what was going on. Beth said they were outside. Howard said she wasn't wearing a mask. Howard said the other couple weren't wearing masks. He said the guy put his hand out to shake Beth's hand and she shook it. He said he was sitting there thinking COVID was on her hand now. He said you know that they rub their faces with their hands. Beth said she got in the car and used sanitizer. Howard said he had to tell her to do that. He said he saw everything. Beth said he's never driving her ever again. Howard said what a punishment.
Howard said he never shook hands before the pandemic. Beth said he's lucky she didn't hug. Howard said that all of her pictures with the people who adopt she's never wearing a mask. Howard said he had to tell Beth to use her jizzum. He said that's what they call their hand sanitizer. He said he didn't know she was going to shake hands. He said everyone was on top of each other. He said then they shook hands. Howard said she said she wasn't going to touch anything until she got home. Howard said he told her she was going to touch her face. He said she says she'll be careful but she's really not.
Robin said that we are not careful no matter how much you think you are. She said that you want to hug someone. Howard said he doesn't want his wife to get COVID. Beth asked if she should take a rapid test with her. Howard said just wear a mask at her house and stay a mile away.
Howard said he knows and loves this person but he is way more interesting than her. He said she should be with him. He said he knows she has to go. He said she needs to have a life. Beth asked if she can take a picture of him for her Instagram. Howard said he looks horrible. He said he has to see it. Beth asked if she can sit on his lap. Howard said sure but he might get a bone.
Howard took the picture but told her to delete it. He said he looks horrible. Howard let her go after that. He said he can't believe how bad he looks in pictures. He said no wonder she wants to get COVID. Robin asked how Jeff Bridges got COVID while he was doing Chemo. Howard said he probably went to a wedding.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she went to a business meeting last week after being in her home for the past 2 years. She said she went to a casino and she got an email saying that one of their work mates tested positive. She said she ended up getting it herself. She said she has a headache beyond belief. She said she has battled cancer herself and she was left with diabetes as well. She said that one moment of letting go led to that. She said that you want to go back to the good old days but that's what can happen. Howard said this is a warning to Robin.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Mel Gibson. He told Howard that Beth should just stay home and blow him. He said she shouldn't be out enjoying lunch. He said she should be at home. Howard let Mel go a short time later.
Robin said she knows that he has talked to Dr. Agus but he hasn't shared any of that with her. Howard said Dr. Agus says you can go out and eat outdoors. He said if you are indoors then wear a mask. He said Robin broke every rule. Robin said she did argue with herself over the whole thing. She said she was going to go so she went.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that Gary is not making a good comparison to what she went off on him about. He said that Robin went to something there everyone was tested. Gary said out is out and it doesn't matter. He said out is out. Gary said going out for milk or going to a concert is going out. He asked if Ralph has gone anywhere. Ralph said he has gone out. He said he has gone out to dinner with Chris outside. He said he had to see Chris because he was in trouble.
Howard asked Ralph what's going on with him and Chris. Ralph said he's not going out to super spreader events. He has gone to movie theaters. Howard said Gary is making a good point. He said it's just as frivolous as going to a concert. Ralph said it wasn't a packed theater. He said there were 6 people in there and the were all spread out.
Gary asked if Ralph knew there were only going to be 6 people there. Ralph said he did. He said you have to pick your seat now so you know. Howard hung up and said no one cares. He said this is boring.
Howard said he has to read some fan feedback after taking a break. He said he has a lot of shit to get to. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and had some history for the Beatles song they had playing. Howard said he's going to buzz through some phone calls. He took a call from a woman who said that she thinks he mentioned her daughter Catherine LaSalle when he talked about reaction videos earlier. Howard said her daughter is very pretty. He asked if he wonders what's wrong with her kid when she sees that. The caller said that her daughter is an actress so she puts some of that on. Howard said it's a bit of a shtick to get her career going. The caller, Barb, said that she made a fan film and the whole family loves Star Wars so she started talking about all of that on her channel. Howard asked how old she is. Barb said she's 25. Howard said she's a good looking girl. He said he was looking for bikini pictures. Howard played some of her daughter reacting to Obi Wan.
Howard asked where this girl is when she makes her videos. Barb said she has her own apartment in Los Angeles. She said Star Wars means a lot to a lot of people and she doesn't get it but that's what it is. Howard said he doesn't get it at all. Barb said that she wants to correct the record. She said that he said something about how they would react if a real tragedy happened. She said that Catherine did say that she knows this is fiction and they do understand it. She said it just means a lot to some people. She said it's like a hobby that you're into. Howard said he hears her. He said he'll drop it. He said good luck to her and her daughter.
Howard said he may just stay on the air all day. He said he has to do Peloton after the show. He said this instructor he watches has an incredible body. He said it drives him crazy that she won't show her belly button. He said he thinks the have a rule there that they can't show a belly button because it's too wild. He said they had that with I Dream of Jeannie. He said the forbid her from showing her belly button. He said he has never seen a belly button in a Peloton video. He said he knows they have a rule.
Howard said they have a new feature on Peloton so people can high five you. He said this hand comes up on the screen and you have to stop your workout to give the high five. He said he has to stop to do this. He said he has 20 minutes to work out and they have to have this going on. He said this stranger has to high five you.
Howard said he still has a belly even after working out so much. Robin wanted to see it. Howard said he's not showing her anything. He said he's really skinny but he has a belly. He said Beth takes pictures of him and she knows he's not going to be happy with them. He said she can see his belly roll. He said he doesn't even look human.
Howard read some feedback about the LIV golf tournament they talked about yesterday. Howard had some comments about what they were talking about. He said one person wrote in about how the golfers are hypocrites and money grabbers if they go to the LIV tournament.
Howard said some people wrote in about the entertainers who went to Sun City and all of that. He said it goes on and on.
Howard said you go over to Saudi Arabia and start crying over a Post Malone song and they'll come and arrest you. Robin said they still do beheadings over there. Howard said he's a fan of that.
Howard said people want more fake Liza Minelli. He read some feedback about that bit. Howard said he got a clip of the Bob Dylan musical they have. He played that for Robin. He said he didn't have that yesterday to play. Howard said he thinks he'd rather hear William Shatner sing it. Fred played some Jim Breuer doing his Goat Boy thing along to the song. The woman singing it had a warble in her voice that sounded kind of like goat boy. Howard did his impression of the woman singing it too.
Howard answered a knock at the door from fake William Shatner who wanted to sing the Bob Dylan song. Howard let him do his thing for a couple of minutes.
Howard said he has to go. He closed the door on Shatner when he started to sing another Dylan song.
Howard said Gary got COVID and Michael Rapaport and King of All Blacks called in about that. Howard said that Gary wasn't able to be there for Michael Che when he was in studio. He said people wrote in about that so he read some feedback about that.
Howard asked how the Mets are doing. Gar said they're still in first place. He said the Yankees are a phenomenon. He said they're both still in first place. Howard said it's about time. He said they should be winning everything.
Howard said Michael Rapaport wrote another diss track about Gary. Gary said maybe if he didn't do that like bigger stars maybe he'd be able to get to another level. Howard said he once held up production on Only Murders in the Building to make fun of Gary. He said he's dedicated to that. Howard played the song that Michael made about Gary and it was pretty bad. Gary said he's a double threat. He said he's not funny and he's a bad singer. Robin said she doesn't think he put much into that.
Howard said Michael had COVID earlier this year so they have to be fair to Gary. He said he missed his hosting job on Wendy Williams.
Howard read some feedback about King of All Blacks trashing Michael's hosting on Wendy Williams. He said that some people didn't agree with King about that. Howard said some people did agree with King on that though. He read a few comments about that.
Howard said they had Sal try to get in touch with his dog Cinnamon. He tried it and said he can connect with anyone. He said he can connect to his dog no problem. He said his dog would tell him that she was grateful for the way he treated her. In the clip Sal was talking about how he could see his dog and she was doing just fine and she can do whatever she wants to do up there. Howard said he likes how the dog speaks English too. He said he cut out a moment where Sal said she can smell all the asses and balls she wants up there.
Howard said dogs love being around people so it sounds like dogs are sectioned off from people. He asked Sal if that's the case. Sal said the dogs are with people. He said they're all souls and they get to be with other souls. He said it can be anything. Howard asked how he knows all of this. Sal said he read up on it. Robin said no one has been to heaven. Sal said he read a book by Dr. Newman who wrote about how people have passed away and come back. Howard asked him to contact Ronnie's dad. He said he has some questions for him. He asked Ronnie if that's okay. Ronnie said sure. He said he'd like to know what the threesome was like. Howard said that's what he wanted to ask about.
Sal said he'd have to get into a mediative state and that would take about a half hour. He said that takes time. Howard said he wanted to do it now. Sal said it would take time.
Howard asked how he got in touch with his dog so quick. Sal said he has an open line to the dog and the people who were close to him. He said he talks to them a lot.
Sal said he was in touch with Robin's father recently. Robin said she didn't ask for that. Sal said he was right about her father being very sweaty and angry. He said he came to him the other day. Howard asked why he doesn't have an open line to the person he's married to but he does with Robin's dad. Sal said there is an open line there but he isn't listening all the time.
Howard asked Sal about this tree line thing he does. Sal said that trees offer so much to us and it's the epitome of love. He said the molecules of the tree he will blend with when he meditates. He said he'll rest his forehead against the tree when he meditates. Ronnie asked where he does this. Sal said in his back yard. Howard asked how that works. Sal said he's blending with the tree and his body. Robin and Ronnie were laughing. Ronnie said he's not talking to his father.
Howard asked if he knows what a molecule is. Sal said it's a form of energy that's made up of atoms. He said that Howard should hug a tree and see how it feels. He said that he will be blown away.
Howard asked if Sal can get in touch with Ronnie's dad without knowing his name. Sal said he doesn't need the name. He said it's just a feeling he has.
Ronnie asked if the birds shit on his head when he hugs the tree. Sal said they do not.
Howard said they had Sal try to read the word cantankerous and he had trouble with it. Howard played a clip of Sal trying to read it. He knew the word but he read it wrong. Howard asked how he can't even speak but he can contact the dead. Sal said he thought it said ''Cantantankerous.'' Howard told him to spell it. Sal spelled it right. He asked where this Can-tan-tankerous'' comes from. Sal said that's what it looked like when he read it.
Howard said they asked Sal to do these break ins during a special they did a few weeks ago. He said Sal had trouble with a lot of words. He played Sal trying to say abominable, capillaries, Ireland and others.
Howard said Ronnie had some issues too. He played some audio of Ronnie trying to say some things like Eritrea. He wasn't able to get that out.
Howard said he's sending his staff back go grammar school. He said that Sal can't get a lot right. Sal said we can all speak to the dead by the way. He said anyone can do it. Howard asked how he can get this thing going with him and Ronnie's dad. Sal said it takes time. Howard said tomorrow during the show he wants him to go out and hug a tree and then come in and talk to Ronnie's dad. Sal said he could do it on Zoom later today and record it. Howard said give that a try.
Howard said Sal could do it right now. He said he knows he can do it. He said just close your eyes. He said he has to go out for a half hour. He said he can make it happen quick. He said just do it. Sal said he'll give it a try.
Sal went into his bat shit crazy trance and got out his red jasper stone. He said Ronnie's dad drove a pick up. Ronnie said no. Sal said he's seeing a pick up truck with wood panels on the side. Ronnie said no when he said his dad was a milk man. He said it wasn't a pick up. He said he did have a truck. Howard told Sal to jam that red jasper up his ass.
Sal said he does see a lot of bottles involved. Ronnie said there were no bottles. Sal said he's seeing this truck there. He said maybe there was a fire when he was younger. Ronnie asked what kind of fire. Howard said maybe the truck can run over Sal. Sal said he's seeing a fire hydrant and maybe he played in the hydrant as a kid. Howard said maybe that's his dad's cock shooting all over the neighbor. Howard said he's seeing something too. He said he sees a moron on his show. He said he can't make out his name. Sal said he's not claiming to be a psychic. He said he just sees things.
Ronnie said his dad did have a trucking company in the garment center. He said there's nothing about the fire hydrant. Sal said he sees a name with an E and he's getting Earl. He said that he keeps seeing that. Ronnie said there was no name on the truck. He said it was initials. Sal said he sees an E. Ronnie said there was no E. Howard asked if there was a ceiling in his past. Ronnie said there was. He asked if he had any doors at all. Ronnie said there were two doors. Robin said she sees glass and he's looking through it. Ronnie said they did have windows. Howard said this is how you do it Sal.
Howard asked more questions about Ronnie's father having two ears and if he liked breathing oxygen and things like that.
Howard had Ronnie ask his dad a question. Ronnie asked what was going on when he saw the other woman in their bedroom under their door. Sal said he never knew about this and he feels bad he had to witness that. Sal said that he didn't know about this and he feels bad but they were having sex. He said it was him and his mother and another woman. Ronnie was laughing at all of this nonsense. Sal said that it doesn't matter what they were doing. He said he's sorry he did it and it was wrong for him to have done it.
Howard asked Sal what he thinks of Ronnie jerking off to the sound of them having sex. Howard asked what the name of his dad was. Ronnie said it was Mel. Sal said he thought it was Earl. He said it was so close.
Howard said his wife wants to contact Sal. He took he call from fake Mrs. Governale who went off on him about how ridiculous this is. She said this is so embarrassing. She said Howard has no idea how embarrassing it is when he's out hugging trees.
Sal said he's seeing a porch and there's a guitar in there. He said his dad either hung out with a guitar player or he played himself. Ronnie said no one he ever saw had a guitar. Ronnie said no. Howard did it his own way asking if his father ever saw a guitar at all. Ronnie said yes. Sal was still going with the porch thing and how they had a guitar there. Ronnie said they had a porch at the house but no one with a guitar. Howard told Sal to take the win there with the porch thing.
Howard asked what Ronnie's dad is doing now. Sal said he's getting blown. He said he's just really happy and proud of Ronnie. Howard asked if he likes Stephanie. Sal said he likes everyone. Sal said there is one person he's disappointed with and it is a female. Howard cut him off when he got into the heavy stuff. Howard said this is getting deep. Sal asked if there was a lady that he hung out with on the porch a lot. Howard said that's probably the lady he fucked. Howard told Sal this isn't his thing. Sal said he never said it was.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Sal really is a dullard. He said he needs to get him some help. He said anyone who believes that he's able to do this after the 20 years of what he's done on the show is ridiculous. Sal said he really doesn't think he is. Howard said he does. Sal said he thinks that the afterlife exists and you can connect to it. He said he doesn't think that he's a psychic though.
Howard said Sal hasn't stuck his head on a tree today yet. Howard played a song parody from Jay and Roddy about Sal. They wrote about what a ''Dim Fellow'' he is.
Howard asked Sal why he put garlic on his cock. Sal said he had eczema on his dick and he read that it would help.
Howard said Benjy has lost a ton of weight. He asked how much he's lost. Benjy said he's lost like 100 from the highest he's ever been on the show. Howard said he's now seeing a male therapist too. He said he had a female therapist and she dropped him. Benjy said that it is a lot different. He said it doesn't feel as good. He said it's not as sweet to talk to a guy. Howard said many of the people he has employed have doctors who wont see them. He said that Sal has this doctor who dropped him after he asked for a hernia check.
Howard said he heard that the new male therapist for Benjy told him that he talks in circles and that's a perfect example. He said that's exactly what he does. Benjy asked what he can do with that. He asked how he can get better. Robin said he has to keep himself straight and stop talking in circles. Howard said maybe the guy can help him with that.
Howard said he heard that Benjy stopped going to the writing meetings. Robin asked if something happened. Benjy paused and said yes. He said he doesn't want to get into that. Howard asked if he's still going to the self love class. Benjy said he did go. He said it's expensive to go.
Howard asked Benjy how he lost weight. Benjy said he did it be reducing calories. Benjy said he got better at keeping track of the food he eats. Howard said he wants to know how he did it and he can't just tell him how he did it. Benjy was going into too many details. Howard said he's getting frustrated like the therapist. He said most people would just get to the point. He said it's hard to get an answer out of him. Benjy said he's not being sincere. Howard said he is. Benjy said he was counting calories.
Howard asked how many calories a day he was eating to lose that weight. Benjy said it's changed but it's about 1500 calories a day. Gary asked Benjy a simple question about weighing his food. Benjy said yes after starting to say ''some foods...'' Gary said he could have answered quickly.
Howard said this morning they had a discussion about Benjy and Memet was saying he felt sad for him. He said he said he has friends at work but he has friends outside of work. He said he feels that Benjy has no friends outside of work. Benjy said he does have friends. Memet said he was hoping he does. He said that he never hears him talk about anyone. He said he hopes he has people he can turn to. Benjy said he does but he feels only lately and that is painful.
Memet said that he tried to get him to come over but he never does. Benjy said that anything you talk about will come up on the show. Howard asked if he likes his coworkers. Benjy said of course. He said there are people who have been mean to him. He said he won't say who they are. He said it's not worth it. He said he has friends.
Howard said he's not lonely at all. He said he lives with a person. Howard asked if he's dating. Benjy said he is. Howard said he's never going to find someone. He said no one is ever good enough for him. He said he keeps searching and he has excuses for them all the time. Benjy said there was a time when he gave up on marriage. He said that he never thought that it could be perfect enough. He said now he's looking for marriage and looking in a realistic way. Howard asked if he's just hooking up with people. Benjy said not really. He said he fooled around with someone recently. He said it was a romantic hand job. Howard said that's good. Robin said she's happy for him.
Benjy said he is looking for someone who is Jewish. Howard said he never thought of him being religious. Benjy said it just feels right to him.
Howard said this is fascinating. He said it's good he lost the weight. He said he's getting help with the talking in circles thing. Howard said he has friends too. Benjy said he has some co-dependency issues like Howard has too. Howard said it just seems like it takes a long time to get his thoughts out.
Howard had Jon Blitt come on to talk about Benjy. Jon said that this woman came up to Benjy and gave him her phone number out of nowhere. He said Benjy asked her to send him a picture and she ghosted him. He said Benjy sabotaged that relationship. Howard asked who he thinks he is asking for a picture. Jon said that she really liked him and she was mesmerized by him. He said he's not sure why he did that. Howard asked Benjy why he did that. Benjy said she was sort of sitting near them at dinner and he was blown away by it so much. He said he thought it was a prank that Jon was pulling on him. He said she was really cute but he didn't remember what she looked like. He said he asked her for a picture. Howard said that's creepy.
Jon said another time Benjy was face timing with a woman and he messed that up too. Benjy said she was too young. He said she was in her 20s. He said she was really cute but he's looking for marriage. Jon said he didn't know if she was into marriage or not. Benjy said she told him about her boyfriend or something. Jon said she didn't have a boyfriend.
Howard said Benjy once went on a date and when the woman showed up she bailed on the date and said her son was in a car accident. Howard said he doesn't get why he would sabotage his dates with other women.
Chris said that he was there when this woman came over to Benjy. He said that he could have gone on a date with her. Benjy said they talked for an hour or two that night after the guys left. The guys said she was like an 8. Benjy said she was a 9 or 10. Chris said she was a superfan too. He said he was a celebrity to her.
Howard asked what she looked like. Benjy said she was like Jason with a dress. Howard said stop it. He sounded ready to bail on the conversation. He wished Benjy luck what that and said he hopes he finds love. He said that's enough of that.
Howard said Benjy is one of the guys who's been there the longest. He said that it's confusing to him that he wouldn't go out with this 9. He said he didn't know he was so into being with a Jewish woman. Robin asked if everything is right about her and she's not Jewish, what happens. Howard said the sad story is that the perfect girl has come along. He said it's Benjy who has to clean up his act.
Howard said he dated a lot when he was single but he met Beth and stopped there. He said he could have gone on an endless search for the ''right woman'' and it never ends. He said he met this lovely woman Beth and if she loves him back it's great. Robin said there are wrong women and a lot of guys go with them. She said just ask Johnny Depp. Howard said he guarantees that he has 50 percent of the blame there.
Howard said Benjy is no spring chicken. He said he's sure he has met the right woman who can stand him.
Howard said they've done a lot of show today. He said they'll be back tomorrow with more. He did a live commercial read and ended the show around 10:50am.
Howard said he has so much to go through today. He said he'll start off with something you can watch on their app. He said there's a guy he got turned on to when they had on... He said he was really talking about Robin a lot yesterday. He said when went to that wedding. He said he and his wife talked about her and he doesn't want to talk about it ever again. He said he's very concerned for Robin. Robin said that he said he fought to keep her alive. Howard said he's not sure why he's wasting his time on her. He said she has a death wish. He said that he bets she didn't talk to Dr. Agus about it. Robin said she's a grown woman. She said she didn't. Howard said they don't need to talk about it. He said good luck to her. Howard said he's done with her. Howard said Robin is like a rebellious teenager.
Howard said when Ed Sheeran was on the show he said he liked this guy Foy Vance. Howard said this guy was his friend and a collaborater. He said he recoded a couple of songs out in L.A. and this is available on the Howard Stern section of the SiriusXM app. He said he's hosting Saturday Soundtracks for them this weekend as well.
Howard played some of his stuff and said he likes this guy. He said he really is good. He played a couple of his songs. He said he has a good voice. He said the songs are good.
Howard said Foy Vance did that at their L.A. studios. He said the guy can sing and play guitar. He said you'll enjoy watching him.
Howard said he figured you had to have some intelligence to be a politician. He said there have been people over the years who were kind of dopey but they had political savvy. He said you see so many brilliant people out there and you wonder how Hershel Walker ended up going this way in Georgia.
Howard read an article about Hershel Walker and how many things he's lied about to get his nomination. Howard said the guy has lied about a bunch of things. Robin asked if he's dull enough to know they're not true. Howard said he has no idea. Howard read about how he had a law enforcement background and it's just not true. He said they make stuff up. He said when he was younger you had to reach a certain level. He said there were some idiots out there but for the most part they could do something. He said you used to get fired for this shit.
Howard said this guy played a great game of football and the people of Georgia think that makes him eligible for senate. Howard read more about the lies that Hershel Walker has told about being with law enforcement.
Howard said he was a morning man in Connecticut and Jon Lieberman gave him a Howard Stern Day but it meant nothing. He said it was just for a day. He said this Hershel Walker lie about being an honorary deputy is like that. He said it's meaningless.
Howard said Walker has a lot of things in his past that are coming out and it doesn't mean anything to anyone. He said that he's close in the polls with the leading democrat. He said people just don't care about his past lies and trouble.
Howard played some audio of Walker talking about the shooting in Uvalde and he's talking about how they have to look into a department that can look into men who are looking at women on social media. He said they have to put money into the mental health field and not into departments that want to take away your rights. Howard said he's spewing out that thing about mental health. He said Biden had a bill about that and it was voted down by republicans. He said this sounds like an answer from a crazy person.
Howard said he spent all night looking at women on social media last night. He said there's a great thing on Instagram. He said he ran for governor of New York and he started to win between him, Cuomo and Patacki. He said he was in a three way race and he was going up in the polls. He said he came out and stopped it. He said that he realized the voters are nuts. He said he did it as a joke. He said he's an idiot and he realized that the people who would have voted for him were idiots. He said you have to want someone who will treat this seriously.
Howard said this is Hershel Walker talking about evolution. He played the clip and Hershel asked if we came from apes why are there still apes. Howard said that's like saying that you were looking into scientists saying that the universe keeps expanding but he knows that there's an end to it because you will hit a wall at some point. Howard said he could get 62 percent of the primary votes down there in Georgia saying that.
Howard said his is like when Sanjaya was winning American Idol. He said it's a goof. Howard said when the guy can't get money coming into the state then you'll regret voting for the guy.
Howard said the guy is a flat earther too. He said he doesn't want to say anything out of school but he said that he walked to the ocean and saw a straight line. Robin said that might have been Sherri Sheppard who said that. Howard said if he was running for office down there he'd ask why your floor is flat if the earth is round. He said he would just go with the flat earth thing.
Howard said Hershel Walker lied about being in law enforcement. He said that's enough for him not to vote for the guy. He said it's stolen valor. Robin said he didn't graduate from where he said he did. Howard said the whole world is crazy.
Howard said all of these religious freaks with their ideas. He said it's like Sal yesterday. He said he feels like he's a beaten man over there. He said there's a lot of religious stuff out there. He said his mother thinks there's an afterlife. He said she says of course there is. He said she has some power over him and he thinks she must know something. He said she's so definite. He said she says when you die you lose your body. He said she doesn't care about all of this body stuff. Howard said it's obvious she didn't care because she didn't put any effort not taking care of it. He did his impression of her talking about what happens when you die like she knows. He said she's so definite about it. He said she knows it like you know the earth is flat. He said she tells him that you go and you have reincarnation. She tells him that you have several lifetimes until you get your wisdom.
Howard said when his mom was in pain she wanted to end it. He said he figured he could find someone to do it for her. He said she said it was a sin against god and she'd be forced to come back and repeat her life. He said she thinks she's going somewhere. He said that's because she didn't commit suicide. He said she had to fuck his father and there weren't many candidates for that. He said she told him many times she'd prefer to be celibate. He said she had to fuck a guy she didn't want to fuck. Robin asked why she got married then. Howard did his impression of his mother telling Robin about why she married Ben and had to put up with having sex.
Howard said he hopes he comes back as a rat. He said his mom's idea is that she'll go somewhere and have a conversation with someone and they'll ask if you want to go to heaven or go back to earth. Howard said it sounds like a lot of paperwork. He said he may need a lawyer for that.
Howard said he realized his mom is trapped in a scared place. He said she lost her mm at 9 and she's sill a little girl in many ways. He said we can't deal with the fact that we're going to die and just lay there. He said that's what happens. He said the great Howard Stern is going to end up as food for something. He said when Gary is buried they'll find his teeth in his coffin in a hundred years. He said it'll be a box and teeth. He said that's a picture.
Howard said things are crazy right now. He said Hershel Walker is going to be a senator. He said he'd leave the state if that's what happened there. Robin said when people like that get elected they'll put a stop to scientific inventions and research.
Howard said his vacuum is smarter than this guy. He said this guy was in debates and they thought he was kind of fun. He said they're voting for him because he's on the right side for republicans. He said he's saying all the right things for them.
Howard said JD told him that he avoided all the debates. He said that's probably smart of him to do that. Howard said there you go. He said they also said that they can't find anything about him being a flat earther. He said maybe he thinks the earth is round.
Howard said sometimes he'd hang out with Howie Mandel. He said he had a lot of business going on though. He said he'd spend more time with Nick and the guys he hung out with. He said it was light conversation though. He said he'd talk about Nick's charisma and what else he could be doing. He said they had big things planned for him. He said he still talks to Nick to this day.
Howard said he's reading about how Nick is having endless children with women. He said he thinks there are two women pregnant right now. Robin said she reads these things and wonders where the children are and if they're all living together. Howard had a clip of Nick talking about not using condoms and how he's only with women who he doesn't need them with. Nick said he's at a point in his life where he doesn't want to just have sex with random women and he doesn't need to use condoms.
Howard said Nick is talking about trying to have a meaningful relationship with a woman but he's also talking about fucking different women and fucking more than one in a day. He said Nick has about 25 different shows on the air and he doesn't care about any of them other than this one. He said this stuff should have come up every day.
Howard said he walked into Nick's dressing room once and he had a lot going on in there. He said he had hot chicks in there. He said he knew something was up when he left Mariah. He said he knocked on the door and said hello. He said no one answers for a while. He said he walks in and his two buddies were there. He said no one said hi to him when he walked in. He said some girls were in there and they gave him a look. He said it was the same look he got in high school. He said they were so good looking they didn't even acknowledge him. He said they're so hot that they don't look up when you say hello to them. He said he's a sucker for that. He said if you're Nick you know they only have eyes for him. He said they don't even say hello. He said he knows chicks like that. He said they're hard core and in another zone. He said they just sit there and the world is their oyster. He said they're also secretly angry because they can't get Nick to marry them.
Howard said no one was talking to him so he got out of the trailer. He said he tried to make something happen. He said he thinks Nick had something going on in there. He said Nick told him to come in but he was on his own after that. Robin said you have to be the host and make people feel comfortable in there. She said he wasn't his buddy then. Howard said he was fine. He said he was talking to the chicks and they weren't talking back. He said that's not Nick's problem. He said he's never sure if that's his problem or not. Robin said that was up to Nick to make something happen there.
Howard said people call him asking what's wrong with Nick. He said he has no idea what he's up to. He said he has Lupus and he's not sure how long he'll be around. He said he's just doing whatever he wants. He said he heard something somewhere that Nick has a whole system down. He said he has all of these kids and he's able to pay attention to all of them somehow. He said he gets on Zoom and talks to them every night.
Howard said they say if he keeps this up the country will be 24 percent Nick descendants at some point. Howard said he has no explanation for what's going on with the guy.
Howard read about all of the kids Nick has and named them as he went along. He has two more on the way. Howard said the girls he's seen are very nice looking women. He said he hasn't spoken with Nick in a while but he's in some situation. He said he must have to pay a lot of child support. He said he has a lot of kids to take care of. Robin said especially if he has them in different places. Howard said he was worried and called Zoom asking if they have room on Zoom for all the kids. He said you can have up to 1000. He said he still has some spaces to fill.
Howard said he heard he had a vasectomy consultation last month. He said the guy is an open book so he's talking about all of this. He said he hopes he knows what he's doing. He said he thinks Nick would come back to the show to talk about all of this. Robin said they should have him on then. She said they have a lot of questions for him.
Howard said Chris Wilding says nick has a big cock. He said that's what he noticed on the show when he was on. Howard asked Chris what evidence he has. Chris said he did tell Howard he has 8 or 9 inches. He said he Googled it. He said that you can see it in a picture of him that it looks like he has a massive hog. He showed Howard the picture he was talking about. JD said he loves Chris and he has more evidence. He said that picture he has is a crease in his pants. He said he saw the video that picture came from. Howard said that's a cock. He said it's not a crease. JD said it is a crease in the video. Chris said he's seen it too and it's a real cock. He said there's a picture of him out there and he has a huge penis in that.
Howard said he has never had a crease like that in his pants. JD said he hasn't either.
Howard read about what Nick said about his vasectomy consultation. He said he told E! News that a couple of months back.
Chris and JD argued about the penis picture for a minute. Howard said he's had enough of that. He said he's had enough of JD.
Howard asked to hear some of his jokes. Nomad told a joke that Howard chuckled at. Howard said the guy has 135 subscribers as they speak. He said good for you. He let him go a short time later.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who wasn't answering. Howard said there's always a problem with the guy when you go to him. He asked him if he's there again and he didn't answer. Howard said they have 3 hours to kill so no rush there.
King eventually got on and said he wanted to talk about Nick Cannon and how he was losing street cred and he had the kids because of that. Howard said that's a hard core move to do that. King said now they have black podcasts where they like Nick now that he has the kids. He said he has a new life. Robin asked if that vasectomy thing is going to take that away. King said that's all bullshit. Howard said that's King's take on all of that. King said when it comes down to all of that he's not ignorant and it makes sense. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she loves them and these callers lately are very bizarre. She said she wanted to weigh in on what a big fan she is. Howard said he listens to radio and he's the only one that has these horrible technical problems. He said you have to wait for people to say hello. He said he puts a lot of energy into the show and he can't crack the code. He said Bob Grant was so good on radio and whenever he picked up someone would be there. He said they got right to the point too. He said it was like a will oiled machine. He said no one is afraid of him so they just call in and don't pay too close attention. The caller said the callers have to get it together. Howard thanked Allie for the call and did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and talked about Chris Martin and how that guy is fucking Dakota Johnson. He said she's so hot in that 50 Shads of Grey. He said they must be up to all kinds of nonsense. Robin said she thinks that's her acting in those movies. Howard said come on. He said Chris is all quiet about it. He said he won't talk about his relationship. He said he saw Coldplay just played somewhere and she showed up and probably blew him after the show.
Howard said you read about how Chris and Dakota hang out with Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband and you wonder what's going on there. Robin said that's great that they share children and they're able to be comfortable with each other. Howard asked why. Robin said it shows they're completely done with that part of their lives. She said they're happy with their lives they have now.
Howard said her head must spin when he's performing a song like this. He said she probably keeps a tight leash on Chris too. He said the whole thing turns him on. Robin said the way he expects people to devote their lives to each other is wild. She said he thinks they're having this wild life.
Howard took a call from a woman, Morgan, who was about to ask something but Howard talked about Robin going to that wedding for a minute.
Morgan said she wanted to ask Howard about his tattoos and what he has. Howard said all of his tattoos are wonderful but one. He said he gets on the air and talks about people fucking them up. He said he has his wife's initial on his finger instead of a wedding band. He said he figured he had earned that one. He said there are people who get their whole hand tattooed and they can't get a job. He said they can't get a job because of that tattoo. He said you have to earn them. He said you have to get a job and earn it to get a tattoo. He said there are a lot of people who don't want to hire someone if they have tattoos all over their bodies. He said he doesn't care himself but there are people who care. He said certain professions shouldn't have tattoos. He said a doctor is one. He said you don't want to see your doctor with a sleeve of tattoos.
Howard said he got the ohm symbol on his pinkie for a stupid reason. He said the guy tattooing him had one. He said he told him to stick that on his finger. He said it is embarrassing when people ask what it is. He said the guy told him that the tattoo artists all get that. Howard said he has an Apple and a Bianca tattoo. He said he has one on the back of his neck too. He said it's a stupid symbol. He said it's something Irish. He said he's not even sure what it is.
Howard said he fucked up when he got his first tattoo on his arm. He said he was so afraid of his mother that even in his 30s he was afraid to get a tattoo. He said he was afraid to show her an earring. He said he used his TV show to break the news to her that he got an earring. He said he came out and showed his mother the earring and she said that's her body and her ear. He said he took the earring out after she berated him over it.
Howard said he wanted to be cool and wanted a tattoo. He said that this was going to make him cool. He said he was hanging out with Dee Snider from Twisted Sister. He said he had two tattoos on his arm. He said on one arm he had a ram's head of some kind. He said it was a dead animal. He said he thought that was cool. He said he told Dee he wanted something cool like that. He said he waned a cool tattoo. He said he didn't know what he liked though. Howard said he was afraid to get it because of his mom. He said he asked Dee to come with him to pick out a tattoo but that was kind of lame. He said he asked Dee if he had any ideas. He said he wasn't picking up on it. He said he wanted him to tell him what would be cool. He said he had to pick something out on his own. He said he wanted to get something that wouldn't offend his mother. He said he did the lamest thing ever and someone told him to get the astrological sign for Capricorn. He said he hates astrology but he ended up getting that symbol. He said that nothing means anything to him but he thought this might mean something. He said he had to get it done quickly so he got it done. He said he wanted to be somebody. He said you look at Post Malone and he has Kurt Cobain stuff on his face. He said he put ''stay away'' under his eyes. He said he also put ''stay awake'' on his head. He said that he has passion about his tattoos. Howard said he just wanted something desperately and quickly.
Howard said he figured he'd get it in brown ink and maybe his mom won't notice. He said he got the worst color and the big Capricorn sign. He said he looked like a douche. He said it was too late and it was done. He said he had a big brown birth defect on his arm. He said his mother saw it and asked ''what is that!?'' He said he wore long sleeves in the summer for a long time. He said the tattoo looked like bird shit.
Howard said he got a tattoo on his neck and then a few more. He said he has about 7 now. He said he won't do more than that. He said years later he covered up the Capricorn thing. He said they designed this thing for his right arm and he asked for a dragon or something. He said he doesn't even like dragons. He said they're not even real. He said he asked them to turn it into a dragon and they came up with something that doesn't look like a dragon. He said it's in the shape of his Capricorn. He said it's not clear what it is and he hates it. He said it looks kind of cool when he wears a t-shirt but when you see the whole thing it's not so cool. He said Beth's friend once asked what it is and said she doesn't get it. Howard said he told her he hopes she told her it's a dragon because he's a bad ass. He said it looks like a Salamander with Down Syndrome. He said it's on his skinny arm and it looks emaciated. Its not something you'd be scared of.
Robin told Howard not to use the Down Syndrome thing. Howard said he was watching Love on the Spectrum and they have a Down Syndrome person on the show dating and it's so sweet.
Howard said the tattoo isn't going anywhere. He said he's not going to get it lasered off. He said he's too lazy to do that. He said he's sticking with it. Howard said you have to be really careful what you get.
Howard said he loves the other tattoos but not that one. He said he has his dog's name on his arm and he likes that. He said he likes the little Apple for his cat. He said he won't get anything else. He said they have had a lot of cats they've lost but they can't put all their names on them. He said Beth might get more but he won't. Howard let the caller, Morgan, go after that.
Howard said George was on The View and then that led to a marital spat between George and Brad. Howard played a clip of George and Brad talking about that spat. George said Brad was upset about the interview. George said they just sat there and listened to him. Brad said he didn't speak to George on the way back to their apartment. George said Brad was criticizing him out on the street and he didn't like that.
Howard said that went on for a while. He said Brad was trying to tell him he's not reading the room. He said he's there to promote Japan day and he's talking about this kid. He said that's why they love George though. He said George is laughing in the background as Brad is talking about this. Howard played more audio of the two of them talking about the interview.
Howard said George is always so sexual. He said everything turns to sex with him. Howard said an hour or so before the parade he graced them with a Japanese song. Howard played the clip of George singing that song. Howard said George's mother used to sing this to him as a little boy. It was something with a lot of ''wan-wan'' sounds in it. Howard said that's the sound a dog makes apparently.
Howard said when George got to the parade he met with a bunch of officials and he used that to plug his play ''Allegiance.'' He said he thinks Brad pulled him right out of there because of that. He said George wasn't reading the room again. Brad interrupted him and pulled him right away from the ambassador. Howard did his impression of George talking about his musical with the guy.
Howard asked Memet about this life George has. He said there's a reality show in this. Memet said for sure. He said it's an interesting dynamic. He said the parade in general was a mess. He said he felt sorry for George and the way it all went down.
Howard said after George met with the ambassador he spent some time with Brad alone. Memet said that any time he would say something nice about George he was gritting his teeth and his voice would go high. Howard said he was struggling to say nice things about George. He played the clip and Brad's voice was going very high. He said he is fun to live with. He said that he is narcissistic and he does demand a lot from him.
Howard said George needed a pillow for his buttocks so he was pulled away a few seconds later. Howard played some audio of that moment.
Howard asked what was going on there. He said he was complaining about taking care of all of George's need and then he's getting a butt pillow. Memet said that Brad works very hard for George and he's very demanding. He said he may feel like he's not appreciated.
Howard played a clip of George in the parade and he was soaking it all in as the fans were waving and all of that. Howard said he kept saying the same two phrases over and over. He was saying ''live long and prosper'' and ''enjoy the parade'' over and over.
Howard said he loves George but he was listening to this last night and that was Spock's line. He said that's not even Sulu's line. He said he doesn't have his own tag line. Robin said that he could have said ''yes captain.'' Howard said that's too bad. He said he's using Spock's line. Howard said he could have said ''Oh my'' or ''tickle my tits'' or something like that.
Howard said it must be exhausting saying the same thing over and over. He said the Japanese parade is something. He said that they had these traditional Japanese instruments playing. He played a clip of that. Howard said it sounds like an air raid siren.
Howard said after that they made George get out of the car he was in. He said it was to do press interviews. He said this is in the middle of the parade. He said he should have just stayed in the car and kept going. He said the car kept driving without George and the parade goers are waving at the car with no one in it. He said Brad was very upset about it. Howard played some audio of Brad complaining about it. He said the fans were waiting in line for George and he's not even in the car as it's driving down the street.
Howard said now they're talking about sticking George in a golf cart. Memet said the car was very dignified and then they stick him in a golf cart and it felt very disrespectful to him. He said that the visual of the convertible with no one in it was weird.
Howard said this is audio of George on the golf cart. He said he's not in the nice convertible. He said you hear the motor of the golf cart sputtering along. Howard played that and George was still saying ''live long and prosper'' and all of that.
Howard said somewhere along the way William Shatner must be pleased by all of this. He said he got to go in a space ship and George is stuck in a golf cart.
Howard said at some point the battery died in a car that was hired to bring George home. Memet said his day was long and they pull up to pick him up and the battery had died in the car because the driver had the car on the whole time. Howard played the audio of Brad talking about that. George said this was a disgrace. He said he's a disgraced grand Marshall.
Howard said the battery dies and George is defeated. He said to make matters worse he's now behind a garbage truck. Memet said it was just so horrible. He said the driver got him another car and got George into this car. He said that he had to sit in this dead car for like an hour. He said he had to sit behind the garbage truck the whole time. Howard said he's glad Memet was there because this shows what show business is really like.
Howard said poor Brad and poor George. Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake George Takei who was saying ''live long and prosper'' again. Howard said he loves that line. Howard asked how many times you have to say that before saying ''enjoy the parade.'' George said he just keeps saying it so all the fans can hear it. He said they've been waiting hours to hear it. He said he had to make the Vulcan salute the whole day too. He said he told Brad not to expect a hand job for at least a month.
Howard talked to fake George about his The View interview and what went on there. George said it was very personal to him. He said he cherishes those moments from his childhood.
Howard said he has to give him some advice. He said he has to stop ordering Brad around so much. He said he has to show some appreciation. George rang his bell and told Brad to bring his ass pillow.
Howard let George go after he got on his golf cart and rode around a bit. Howard said that was a great update on George and Brad. He thanked Memet for that.
Howard asked the caller what he can do for her. The caller, Shawneah, said she thinks Ralph is in love with Chris. She said he knows so much about Chris.
Howard asked Chris if he thinks that Ralph is in love with him. Chris said he thinks in a friendly way they love each other. Howard asked what he picks up from Ralph though. He asked if he thinks he'd be in a relationship with him. Chris said he's not sure in what way he's talking about. Howard said how about a blow job. Chris said that he probably would. He said he doesn't think he pines for him. He said he thinks that Ralph would prefer that he blow him. Shawneah said that he changes when he talks about Chris though. Chris said he is a very good friend. Howard said they seem to fight a lot. He said they're like a couple. Chris said that they do but Ralph is a contrarian. He said they were arguing about Obi Wan and they were out in public fighting. He said it got heated.
Howard said he knows how Chris feels but he's enjoying Obi Wan. He said he likes the show. He said he started watching it and he's enjoying it. He said that the problem with it is that these fucking guys don't want to use their powers. He said Obi Wan has powers and he won't use them. He said he's like a neurotic. Chris and Howard were talking about that but Robin said that the Jedi were getting wiped out so they had to hide their powers. Howard said he is enjoying the show even with its flaws. Chris said that he liked The Mandalorian because he used his powers. Howard asked why Obi Wan is British. Robin said the original guy is British.
Howard said that's the answer for Shawneah. Chris said he left a jacket he got from Ralph and Ralph went out to get the jacket for him. He said he had folded it so nicely or him and he was touched by that. He said it was such a nice thing to do. He said the friends he has mean a lot to him and Ralph means a lot to him.
JD said they have seen Ralph get physical with Chris. Chris said yes. JD said they were out in L.A. and Ralph was touching his leg. Chris said it was more than that. JD said it was a very friendly thing. Chris said that Ralph did take his hand and put it on his appendage once.
Ralph said that Chris is like an internet troll. He said he would delete him if he was commenting on his stuff online. Howard said Obi Wan is a good show. He said it is flawed but every show is flawed. He said the bigger question is what's going on with him and Chris. Ralph said he likes this caller thinking that he has empathy for Chris so he's in love with him. He said he does love him as a friend. He said he cares about him a lot. He said if he wanted him he would have made his move already. Howard said he did put his hand on his cock. Ralph said that was just for fun.
Howard said he hears that he's spending a lot of time with Chris. He said he spends more with him than any other staffer. Ralph said that's not true. He said he spends a lot of time with Memet but not lately. Chris said he gets jealous of that. He said he feels second fiddle to that. Howard said he really doesn't care about this.
Ralph said he would if they were blowing each other. Howard said life is too short. He said if you're a gay man you should be out and about and enjoying the gay lifestyle. He said that Ralph says he's straight and he believes him. Ralph said he's not attracted to Chris in any sexual way. He said if he wanted to get him he would have him over to his place and he'd show him something. Howard said Chris isn't into Ralph because he's too old. Chris said it's not that. He said if he's friends with you he can't fuck you.
Howard asked Chris if he would blow Ralph if he asked him to. Chris said that would ruin the friendship. He said he probably wouldn't do that. Ralph talked about what would happen there and there were a lot of details there. Chris said he's obviously thought about this. Ralph said the last thing you want to do is have sex with a good friend. He said it ruins the whole thing.
Howard said when he's with a girl he spends a lot of time with her. He said he puts in a lot of time and he's laser focused on her. He said Ralph is laser focused on Chris. Robin asked how often they talk. Chris said at least once a day. He said if he sees Ralph's number on his phone he wont answer every time. He said he knows it'll end up being an hour long conversation. Ralph said he does the same thing. He said it's not bad.
Howard asked Robin what she thinks is going on here. Robin said she doesn't know. Howard asked if Ralph has ever masturbated to Chris. Ralph said absolutely not. He said he swears on the life of his mother and sister. He joked that his mother just died in a car accident with his sister. Chris said he's never done that either and he swears on the life of Ralph's mother and sister. Ralph said this is why he likes him, he's funny.
Robin asked if Chris likes anyone else this much. Chris said he likes Jon Blitt that way. They both said they get jealous when they think about them hanging out with other people on the show.
Ralph said he's still laughing about the George Takei The View interview and how if they had let him keep going he would have gotten into a lot more detail. Howard said they can't let him talk about too much gay stuff. He said he's talking about ass crack and talking about how he knew he was gay at a young age. Howard said it's so great.
Howard wrapped up with the guys and the caller. He said that they learned that Ralph is not interested in Chris. Ralph said it's purely friendship.
Howard said Liberace spent his whole life looking for a woman. Ralph did his Liberace voice and said he's still looking for a woman. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said he saw that Bobo was waiting since Monday to ask that question. He said he was on the phone on Monday at 5am to ask that. He said the guy waited 4 days or 3 days to ask that. He said he's not even sure if that's a question. He said he hasn't seen the new movie yet so he's not sure how he'll like it. He said he liked the black and white Munsters.
Howard spent a minute talking to Bobo puppet who was asking a lot of dopey questions like Bobo might ask. Howard went back and forth with Bobo puppet who was asking this or that type questions.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's so glad that bombed. She said she went over that on Zoom and she said it wasn't good. She said that he held on to it for two months. Howard said it was fine. Mariann said she has a million topics and he gives him a pass. She said he can't come up with a thought on his own. Howard hung up on Mariann and said he has a lot of mail from the fans but he had to do a live commercial read first. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and asked the guys never to play that song again. He took a call from a guy who brought up Obi Wan and how he's cutting back on using the force because he's trying to stay in hiding. Howard said if he had super powers he'd never cut himself off. He said he'd use them every day. The caller said he's trying to hide though. Howard said he knows that. He said he's watching the show. He used the force to hang up on the caller.
Howard said Kate Bush is a singer songwriter who released a song called ''Running up that Hill'' in the 80s. He said the song has had such a resurgence that it's soaring up the charts. He said she's probably sitting at home thinking she had her day and now it's going crazy again with kids. Howard said it's all because of Stranger Things. He said they played it in the show and kids are digging it. He said she must be out of her mind happy. Robin said sure she is. Howard said imagine that happens. He said she quit her job at Burger King and she's thinking about going on tour again. He said she probably will go out on tour.
Robin said it is unusual for that to happen. Howard said he feels good for that woman. He said he doesn't know Kate Bush that well. He said he's not sure what she looks like. Robin said she's not sure either. Howard asked Gary if she had a lot of hits. Gary said she didn't. He said she had that song and the song that she did with Peter Gabriel. Gary said he likes this song but he doesn't know anything else.
Howard asked where this song is now. Gary said she's number 1 in the UK and here in the States it's at number 4 but still going up. He said it's the most streamed song in the UK right now. Howard said she's 63 now. He said congratulations to her.
Howard said he's watching her and she's really cute and very talented. Howard went into his agent voice and did that bit again.
Howard said he has her on the Tonight Show rapping like Nicki Minaj. He played that clip. He said that was from 2016. Robin said they should hire her at Saturday Night Live since they lost a bunch of people. Howard did more of the agent impression thing. He had the agent talking about how talented this kid is and how she's going to be bigger than Oprah some day. The Agent said they should hire her at SiriusXM because she could bring in more people than Howard Stern. He had her doing all kinds of things like comedy specials and having country albums coming out and a bunch of things like that. He had the agent talking about how she plays guitar better than Eddie Van Halen already. He said she's got so many options and he fears she's working too hard. He said she's he new drummer for the Foo Fighters. He said she's better than Taylor Hawkins. He said she's so busy that he can't get her in there. He said she's a savant in every way, shape and form.
Robin asked how the agent found Millie. The agent went into detail about how she was a military strategist. He said she built him a rocking chair from a tree she chopped down. He said she worked on his hernia when he got one too. He said she's got a lot of talent. He said she's a lovely gal and he's proud to represent her. He said she's a good kid who is turning into a lovely lady. He said she dresses appropriately too. He said she dresses sexy but not too sexy.
The Agent said that Millie pulled trains with her teeth. He said that's how he found her. He said she's a good girl and she has her head on straight. Robin asked if he's okay with her having a boyfriend. The agent said she's dating the Bon Jovi boy. He said he's fine with that. He said she's an industrious kid. He said she has her own landscaping business. The Agent kept going on and on about the ideas they came up with together. He said he wanted it to be a surprise to have her shave her head for he show. Howard said that guy is a genius.
JD said the movie is ''Crimes of the Future'' and it looks crazy. He said it's about body mutations and stuff. He said it looks really wild. Howard asked if she's naked in it. JD said he's not sure. He said he'd have to look it up.
Howard said the trailer is up on HowardStern.com if you want to check it out. JD said it has an R rating and it's for violence and graphic nudity. Howard asked the caller if she's lesbian. She said she's not but she can admire good looking women. Howard said he would have been crazy over her in high school if they went to school together. Howard said he was too much of a douche back then to get someone like her.
Howard said Kristen Stewart is so hot. He said he sees comments about her on DailyMail and they say she's not hot. He said they're so wrong. He said whenever she's promoting a movie she's always in a sexy outfit. JD said it's at least tight. Howard said her shirt is almost falling off of her. JD said she shows her belly too sometimes. JD said she has a 3 star rating on MrSkin.com for nudity. He read some of the comments Mr. Skin has about her nude scenes.
Howard said he was on MrSkin.com looking up that Sarah Shahi they were talking about the other day. He said she's naked in a lot of things. JD went on to read more about Kirsten's nude scenes. Howard said he wants to see this movie JD is reading about. He said she gives a hand job to two guys at the same time. He said he's busy with Obi Wan.
Howard read about ''Crimes of the Future'' and had a description of it. He asked JD what movies Kristen is naked in. JD said ''On the Road'' is the one with the two hand jobs. He said JT Leroy is another. He said Seberg is another one. He read about another one where she had one boob out. He read a couple of others that she got nude in. Howard said he didn't know she did so many nude scenes.
Howard thanked JD and the caller for the updates. The caller, Debo, asked if he has seen Real Housewives of Dubai. Howard said he saw about 10 minutes of it and that's not what he wants to see. He said he likes the Beverly Hills one. He said he won't watch the others. He said they're a bunch of bores.
Howard said the Beverly Hills Housewives are like the Three Stooges. He said they're completely devoid of humanity. He said the won't hide their wealth even after they get robbed repeatedly.
Howard read some fan feedback about Robin going to the wedding. Howard said some people were thrilled by it. He said he hates reading that. Howard said she's been told not to even get a cold. Robins said that was when she was on Chemo. Howard read some of the comments from he fans who were happy that she went. Howard said she won't be around if it's up to them. Howard said people wrote in about Gary getting COVID but that was expected the way he was going out and about.
Howard said a fan agreed with him about Robin going out. He said that it was very hypocritical of Robin to go off on Gary about getting COVID. Howard said Meatloaf and Herman Caine wrote in about how happy they are with Robin going out.
Robin said the monkey pox thing is really scary too. Howard said COVID sounds fun compared to that. He said he saw some of the skin lesions and things that people get. Robin said they cover the whole area where you get it. She said it's horrible looking. Howard asked how it's spread. Robin said she thinks through sex. Howard said he's good on that then.
Howard said people wrote in about Sal and his psychic abilities. He read some comments from the fans about that craziness. People were writing in about how dumb that whole thing was.
Howard said Jon Blitt said that Sal seemed down about his contacting Ronnie's dad. Howard asked Sal if he has anything to say today about that. Sal said he was disappointed but he felt like he was put on the spot. Howard said that is true. Sal said he was not prepared. He said if he could do it properly he thinks he could do it better. Blitt said he could do it. He said he knows he's gifted and he has not become fully in touch with his gift. He said he thinks that he fears his gift. He said he's going to work with him and he's going to contact a lot of people. He said he was so in touch with his dog Cinnamon. He said he went to the other side. He said he thinks he's just about there and he just needs to be honest with himself. Sal said that Jon would be a great psychic because the bullshit just flows. Howard said he admires his judgment and the next time they do it they'll have Sal put his head on a tree and get a real reading.
Howard asked Sal why he's going off on Jon. Sal said he's being sarcastic and he's full of it. He said he's putting him on the spot with this stuff. Howard asked who he would be comfortable contacting for them. Sal said that's tough. Howard said he thinks that Jon is right and he could contact people. Howard said Sal could be bigger than the Long Island Medium. Sal said that's not what he's looking for. Howard asked what fee he would have to pay if he had to contact someone. Sal said he would never charge anyone. He said that he had a friend who lost a child and he sat with him for a long time just to comfort him. He said he did have a dream about his son the night before. He said the son looked like the kid who played Will Ferrell's brother in Elf. He said he thinks there might be a connection there. He said he will go back to the family and talk to them about that.
Howard asked Sal when he's going to sit with the family about this. Sal said next time he sees them. Howard asked if he's crazy. He said that he should leave them alone. He said don't bring up this dream he had. He said just stay out of it. Sal said the wife said that she wishes she could dream about her son and he said in time she will. Howard said he's sure the family would love to hear that their son was a fan of Elf. Sal said there has to be a reason for this. He said that's all he's saying.
Blitt said he thinks that Sal knows who he should share his dreams with but he thinks he should share them with everyone. Sal said he shouldn't share anything with Jon. He said this is where it all started. He said if he had kept his mouth shut none of this would be happening. Sal told him to stay off the shrooms. He said it's messing with his head. Jon said he's not on them right now.
Howard asked Sal what this Elf thing was about. Sal said the son showed up in his dream and he showed him this scene from Elf. He said he and his dad were sharing memories about the son and he thinks maybe they had mentioned something to him about looking like the kid in Elf and that's a true connection. He said it's just a beautiful sign that he lives on. Howard asked why he hired this guy. Sal said he smeared his cock cheese on Richard's face one time. Howard said that's right.
Sal said if Howard believed what he believes then it's very simple. Robin said anything he believes has to be simple. Howard said he could never believe what he believes in.
Howard said Sal is a psychic. Sal said he's not. He said he can just expand his beliefs and he can connect to people on the other side. Howard said he would suggest not punishing the world by keeping his power to himself. Howard said the one thing he hates is super heroes refusing to use their powers. He said he could be helping so many people. He said he can see Madison Square Garden full of people looking to him for closure. Sal said we'll see what happens.
Fred played a bunch of drops from yesterday's show where Sal talked about all of that insanity.
Howard said congratulations to Sal on all of that. He said be gentle with the friends who lost their child. Sal said he knows. Robin asked if he can read the room. Howard said he's not sure he can read never mind reading the room.
Howard said Jon Blitt has seen Sal doing his thing and he believes it. Sal said he talked to Leslie West when he was under. Howard said that's right. He said he remembers that. Jon said he's just scratching the surface. Howard spent a little more time with Sal and Jon before wrapping up and letting them go.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about Chris crying yesterday but he has to end the show. He said it's been very emotional listening to Sal.
Howard read a few comments about Benjy on yesterday's show. Howard said he has spoken to Benjy enough and he's very concerned about monogamy. He said he isn't sure he can be monogamous. He said he has tremendous needs. Howard asked Robin to stay home this weekend and not go to any weddings. Robin said she won't be going to any. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:30am.