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Howard asked if he read about the genocide going on over there. Jeff said it's all not true. He said he just knows.
Howard said they have to go back 42 hours to get the back story on this. He said he's praising Putin for a reason. He said he's desperate to get a woman to vomit on him. He said they did a sting to find out how far he'd go to satisfy his fetish. He said they had a staffer call Jeff to ask him to back Putin to get puked on. Howard said they wanted to see if he would cave or stick with it. He said just a few weeks go he had recorded a message for the people of Ukraine. He played that message where Jeff was backing the people of Ukraine.
Howard said now he has tape of Jeff abandoning the people of Ukraine. He said this is Jeff with Ivanna. He played the clip and the staffer was playing a Russian woman and Jeff was asking her to vomit on him. Ivanna told him to get that he'd have to support Russia. Jeff quickly said he would do that and told her what he would say to Howard to get her to vomit on him. He was willing to say whatever she wanted him to just to get vomited on.
Howard said the moral of the story is that Jeff loves vomit more than human rights. Robin said he quickly turned. She said there wasn't a blink at all. He just changed his tune. Howard said the freedom for the Ukrainian people are below his love of vomit. Jeff said he does have some feelings about the Ukrainians is what he said in that call. He said they are in their right to do what they're doing.
Howard said some people have convictions and Medicated Pete wants to get laid and he was very different than Jeff. Howard said they did the same thing with him. He played the call and in that call Pete didn't agree to back Putin. He told Ivanna that he can't support Putin.
Howard said Pete hasn't gotten laid in 3 years so he's backed up. He said he wanted it but he didn't do it. Howard said he's going to get the Presidential Medal of Freedom later today.
Howard said Jeff is very dedicated to vomit. Robin asked if he feels bad about it now. Jeff said the woman did tell him that she was a former Russian stripper. He said he thought he was being hooked up. He said she instructed him on what to do. He said he was skeptical. Howard said he ash to hold on to his beliefs. Jeff said that Russia is a strong country and it takes one bad apple to make them look bad. Robin said it's too late to walk that back. Jeff said that Putin should be strung up like Hitler. Howard said he should stick to his guns on that.
Howard asked Wolfie what he has on this. Wolfie told a story about Jeff going to a therapist and in the middle of that Howard had to dump out of it because Jeff mentioned the name of it.
Howard took a call from a Chris the vomit guy who was doing an impression of Jeff and talking about his views on Russia and Ukraine. He was going off on Jeff for saying what he said about Russia. He said his group is for human rights and the Ukrainians. He said he'll also keep his doctor private. Howard thanked Chris for the call.
Howard said they tested Jeff's convictions and he will sell out for vomit every time. Robin said Pete stuck to his. She said he just said no.
Howard said Will Smith is apologizing and the academy is making all kinds of claims of sanctions. Robin said that they say Will resigned from the Academy. Howard said he's reading it all and he has no idea what that even means. He said that Jada has that Alopecia and he's seeing there is hair growth around her head. He said there's so much to read. He said he's studying her head like it's the globe. He said it's fantastic. He said he's involved in every way of this story. He said it's Monday and he didn't see any news yet today. Robin said there was a story about Denzel Washington making a statement about the whole thing. She said he was one of the people who rushed toward Will after the slap. Robin said now he's trying to explain why he rushed to his side at the time. Robin said all he could say is that he knew there was a problem and he didn't know how it started but prayer was the only thing that would work for this situation. Howard said they should throw him out of the Academy too.
Howard said Richard Williams was tracked down by the press and they asked him what he thought. Robin said the just went and asked what he thought. Howard said they asked him and he said he didn't like that slap. Robin said it was through his son that they heard that. Robin said Richard had a stroke so they had to get a statement from his son.
Gary said the story is so crazy that the NY Post tracked down the kids that Richard Williams had before the other kids and they asked how they felt. Howard said he's following it all so he likes to hear every side of this.
Howard said some comedian he never even heard of named Tiffany Haddish liked the slap. He said he thinks that's who it was. He said he thinks she liked it because she liked the idea of the man defending his woman. Howard said that's such bullshit. He said that Jada can defend herself. He said she doesn't need someone defending her. He said from a guy's standpoint Jada has this podcast where she talks to her kids and her mother and in the world of Podcasting it's hard to get anyone to pay attention to you. He said she said on her podcast that she had slept with some guy who was like her son's friend or something. Robin said he was a rapper. Howard said he doesn't know but she talked about this and he thinks Will took it out on Chris Rock. He said that this woman was talking about this on her podcast. He asked who is paying the bills in that relationship He said it's not her. He said she's doing okay but not living large like Will is. Howard said Will is making millions on his films and she's on her podcast talking about a guy she fucked. Howard said he must be pissed wondering if she's fucking kidding him. Robin said she has a production company and she went out and did the podcast with the production company. She said that's his company running the podcast. Howard said he's going to jump out the window for this guy.
Howard said that made news because the wife went out and fucked someone. He said it's Will Smith's wife. He said he can fuck whoever he wants and she's on her podcast talking about fucking someone. Robin said the went out and asked that guy his opinion of the slap. Howard said he better shut up or he'll get slapped too. He said he's sure that it was his wife that he was seeing when he slapped Chris Rock. He said he's not protecting his wife from shit. He said he slapped a guy half his size. He said he just stood there and got smacked. Robin said he didn't know it was going to happen. Howard said it was s sucker punch.
Howard said there was a joke at the start of the Oscars where Regina Hall said that she wanted to take a guy back stage and Will was one and Jada said that she'd be fine with that. Howard said that was referring to her fucking another dude.
Robin said when Jada and Will walked into the SAG awards they were going in and Laverne Cox was doing the red carpet and she said to Jada that she had to talk about that Red Table Talk thing. She said Will was right there listening to that. She said it was reminding him of it right there. Howard said the guy took all of that out on Chris Rock. He said it's such a mind fuck. He said he's paying for this podcast and then he's on the red carpet and Laverne wants to hear more about the fucking she's doing behind Will's back.
Howard said if he was letting his wife do a podcast and she was talking about fucking another guy he'd ask her not to mention it. He said imagine the reality of that. He said this is Will Smith and not just some schlub. Howard said the only one who humiliated Will was Jada. He said he can't deal with it so he smacks Chris Rock.
Howard had the quote from Tiffany Haddish. He said he's not sure who she even is. Robin said she is a movie star. Howard read the quote where she said that your husband is supposed to do that. Howard said he wasn't protecting her from anything. He said Chris was making a joke about her and GI Jane.
Howard said he can't get enough of this. He said he loves waking up to new news about this Will Smith, Chris Rock and Jada Pinkett Smith. He said he thought he had the information but Robin has even more. Robin said she was even questioning herself about it. She said she was waking up to all this news. Howard said if you put all of this information out there you're going to be goofed on by comedians.
Howard said being compared to Demi Moore in her prime isn't the worst thing in the world. Robin said he was comparing the bald head. She said that's all he was doing. Howard said they should defund the Oscars. He said that way there's less people getting hit.
Robin said that Amy Schumer has said she's stepping back and spending more time with her family after this controversy. Howard said she'll be on Wednesday so they'll talk to her about that then.
Howard said he's sure that Will doesn't want to hear her stories. He said she's talking about this guy she fucked and the guy looks like he has a big dick. He said he has seen guys like that and he must have that big dick energy. He said Will doesn't want to hear about that.
Howard said Amy Schumer said that Chris Rock handled it very well. Howard said he stayed up there and did his job. Robin said all he wanted to do was get out of there after that. She said he stuck with it and did his job. Robin said the producer of the show said that Chris was a hero for keeping it moving. Robin said they could have come in and arrested Will right then and here. She said if they had done that imagine what that would have been like. Howard said it would have been great. Robin said it wasn't supposed to be all about Will Smith. Howard said that would have been so great. He said the video of that would have been great. He said JD had to send him tape from Japan where they had the whole incident. He said the dump button obliterates everything.
Howard said he was watching the Grammys and that kid Justin Bieber got up and he's very angry looking. He said he must be angry trying to look like a tough guy. He said he thinks that's a reaction to him being a bubble gum kind of performer. He said now he's thing to be a tough guy. He said maybe he is tough but he walked in wearing a suit that was way too big. He said then he did an outfit change.
Howard asked how good he looks in this jacket. He said John Varvatos left the company John Varvatos and he has a new company named OTD and this is a nice jacket he has. He showed Robin the jacket and said John sent him this. Robin said she likes this. Howard said he would like to thank the Academy. He said it's relaxed and it looks good. He said John sent him a box through Ralph. He said it's nice stuff. He said he has a good line. He said he's a fan of his. He said at least now he has two companies he can wear.
Howard said his wife even liked it. He said she had to give him the once over. He said he's getting new glasses soon too. He said he'll give Robin a fashion show with those. He said he's getting some new stuff. He said he gets his stuff from The Eye Man. He said he's putting a new look together. He said it's more like Robin's look with the squared off glasses.
Howard said they had this pre-show on the red carpet with Laverne Cox. Howard sake if she's transsexual. Robin said she did transition. Howard said she has some big titties. He said that he wouldn't go that big if he was trans. He said he's very distracted by them.
Howard said this guy Jerrod Carmichael has this special on HBO, called Rothaniel, where he comes out as gay. He said this guy is so good. He said the guy is loose like Dave Chappelle. He said he's so compelling as a story teller that you get mesmerized. He said this guy has to be applauded for what he did. He said that this is what should be talked about with the things going on in Florida. He said he thought we were getting somewhere but everyone thinks they can be like Trump now. He said they're saying that they don't want people saying gay in schools with kids younger than 4th grade. He said they say that people are trying to indoctrinate kids to be gay. He said that's so ridiculous. He said no one could have convinced him to be anything but heterosexual. He said the whole basis of what they're claiming is just to humiliate and insult children so they feel like they're doing something dirty and wrong if they're gay.
Howard said we have to normalize the word gay. He said you can't make people feel like outsiders. He said you're gong to have a bunch of closeted men marrying women and ruining their lives and kids killing themselves and it's a disaster. He said this woman Anita Bryant started this notion that gay people have to convert because they can't procreate. He said they can't make gay children because they're gay. He said the whole thing is nuts.
Howard said he wants Disney to stick to their guns and back gay people. He said don't worry about it because people will still come to their park. Robin said they have the Florida people saying that they have this don't say gay bill. Robin said they don't need that right now down there. Howard said you can ban it all you want and some kids will still be gay. Robin said that happened for years and years.
Howard took a call from a guy who said there is nothing in that bill that says the word ''gay.'' He said they say that teachers won't teach anything about sexuality. He said it should be done at home. Howard said its not that simple. He said its putting criminality into it. He said that they're talking about sexuality because they can fire someone for saying ''gay'' to children in school. He said there is no need for the bill. He said you know what it's supposed to do. He said it's not going to change the world. The caller said he agrees with him about that but there is so much being made about this and there are so many bigger problems out there. Howard said the problem is that if there's a kid in first grade and kids are talking and the kid mentions his two dads and the teacher explains it to them then the teacher can get fired. He said then the other kids think there's something wrong with that. He said he's not sure why he has to explain this. He said come on, keep him out of this.
Howard said he's so right on about this. He said people say he's so ''woke'' but that's just saying the right thing. He said it's like a put down to some people but he's just saying the right thing. He said he doesn't want to see kids killing themselves. He said who cares if they're gay.
Howard said Brandi Carlile lives with a woman and there are people out there who love her and they're the same people who are threatened by this gay thing. He said he's had it with the religious assholes who are so against gay people. Robin said God never does anything about it so maybe they're wrong.
Howard said he loves Brandi Carlile. He played some of her stuff from he Grammys.
Howard took a call from a woman who said her daughter is transgender and she almost lost her twice. She said she was tortured in school and she had to go to a mental hospital. She said she's on the road to recovery now and it breaks her heart hearing about this. Howard said he has to tell her something. He said he's a father of 3 daughters. He said you see them growing up and you're so in love with them. He said then these kids start in with them. He said you just want them to be polite to them. He said that's all you want. He said it's essential that straight people stand up for the kids who are being bullied. He said don't stand for this ''don't say gay'' thing. He said just say fuck you to that. He said straight people have to do it. He said we have to say stop picking on the kids. He said if that means he's ''woke'' then so be it. He said he's proud to be woke then.
Howard said some of these right wing nuts do it just to get the whackos out there to vote for them. He said his heart goes out to this woman on the phone. He said some day things will get better. He said she should watch this special Rothaniel. He said this guy comes out and you can't help but feel his pain. He said he and his wife were riveted by it.
Howard said he has a montage of the right wing media using this ''woke'' word in their reports. He played that montage and it was all negative stuff.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was the ghost of Liberace. Liberace told Howard he's so sick of the Hollywood Libs shoving their sexuality down their throats. Howard said he did sue a newspaper for saying he was gay and he won. Fake Liberace talked about how much he loves Robin's breasts. He said he's a straight man and he doesn't want the kids growing up like sissies. Howard closed the door on that lame bit.
Howard said this Valentino is going to go bankrupt sending out so many outfits. Howard said the story he's telling is that he doesn't want to be naked so he's wearing clothes.
Robin said John Batiste was wearing a cape like a super hero. Howard said he didn't see that. Robin said when a guy does that glamour thing it comes off like a super hero costume. Howard said he's going to go with that look too. He asked if you can imagine if he did that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a 14 year old who has a friend who is transsexual. He said his son has been friends for a long time and kids get into fights with him over it. He said his son got up in class and said that they have the potential to turn things around. He said the school is starting to teach tolerance so that's good. Howard said that's the way things were going but then the Trump parade came in and people are defending Putin. He said Trump said he thinks Putin is a genius. He said it's any dumb thought they have and then they deny they said it. He said it's just thinking out loud and dumb thoughts.
Howard said he's a defender of capitalism. He said that it brings about hard working people and innovation. He said there's nothing more anti-capitalist than a governor threatening a company like Disney to get in line or get out. He said it's just crazy.
Howard took a call from Tina Polsky who is a state senator in Florida. Tina said this bill and atmosphere down there is out of control. She said this generation is failing and it's embarrassing. Howard said he thought his generation was going to be able to turn things around but he was wrong. He said that it's a bunch of fucking losers who are fucking everything up. Tina said DeSantis is in his early 40s so she doesn't get it. Robin said this guy thinks he can do anything by saying stupid crap. Tina said the whole Disney thing was a side note and then his followers picked up on it and they're like sheep and follow this little morsel. She said they have some real problems going on down there.
Howard told Tina he likes her and he knows she's doing good down there. He let her go and said she's fighting the good fight.
Howard got back to the Grammys and talked about Billie Eilish, Brandi Carlile and Chris Stapleton being good on the show. He said he likes that Olivia Rodrigo too. He said she's only 17 but her music is good. He said the Grammys only gave the Beatles one Grammy. He said they give Grammys to people like Doja Cat. He said he doesn't like that. He said he doesn't even like the names. He said the BTS song is catchy but in the way that the Archie's were catchy. He said that they shouldn't be winning Grammys. He said he'd like to see them sing unplugged. He said he's not sure they can sing.
Howard said he thinks that Justin Bieber had a song that was written by 11 people. Robin said there was sone guy who won and he had like 160 names under his name.
Howard said President Zelensky had a message for the Grammys and he had no idea he could speak English so well. Howard played a clip from the show. He said he sounds like a super villain with that voice. He said he's sort of like Ham Hands Bill. He played some Ham Hands Bill and compared the two.
Howard said he loves that guy. He said he thinks they had to do that to get the attention away from the Will Smith thing.
Howard took a call from a woman who said in January she came out to her family in Florida and it was the most exhilarating thing she has ever done in her life. She said her dad just said he wanted her to be happy in her life. She said she's 49 and she has gone through so much. She said she is free of that secret now. Howard asked how old she is. She said 49 and she'll be 50 in October. Howard said people are so shitty to one another and they want to make you feel small because you're gay. He said he has been an outcast himself and it's not an easy life.
Howard said it's great to be able to walk around with someone you live instead of worrying about it. Robin said you shouldn't have to walk around in shame and have people making you feel that way. The caller said that she lives with a partner now and it's just great. Howard said he's very happy for her. He let her go a short time later. Howard said watch that Rothaniel special on HBO. He said it's really good.
Howard played more of the Zelensky clip and did an impression of the voice. Howard said he can't goof on that guy. He said he's like the bravest mother fucker out there. Howard said he would have been the first one out of there if he was President there. He said that guy is brave. He said you have to love that guy. He said the clip is funny though.
Howard said this is Justin Bieber and he's like a tough guy now. He said he had to say all the dirty words in the song and he had to know they were going to edit it. He said he wants to be a bad boy though. Howard played the clip and they had to dump out of it so much it sounded like Howard was pausing the song every second. Howard said it's so silly.
Howard said he liked that Olivia Rodrigo. He said she's just 17. Robin asked what he was doing at 17. Howard said learning to beat off. He said he became a master by 25.
Howard said Louis C.K. won for best comedy album. He said Foo Fighters won all 3 Grammys they were nominated for. He said Billie wore a Taylor Hawkins shirt. He said that was very sweet.
Howard said that's his wrap up on that. He went into a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he loves this song. He said he's not in the mood for it right now though. Robin said it's a good song. Howard said if she loves it he loves it. He said he'll just go for it. Howard said Willie told him about writing this song. He said he wrote that one quickly. He said that's the way he prefers to write songs himself. Robin said she think that LeAnn was like 16 when she sang this. Howard said she may have been 14. He said he's not sure about that though.
Howard said he should start giving out bad information and just make stuff up. He said she actually was 16 when she recorded that. He corrected himself a minute later saying she was actually 17.
Howard took a call from Rooster who said he has been to a Waffle House over the past few days and the quality of service was exactly the same every time. He said they talked about McDonald's and how the service changes. He said Waffle House is the same in every location he's been to. He said that it's good food and good service. He went into an explanation why he thinks that McDonald's is bad and Waffle House is better.
Robin asked why Rooster isn't running a company. Howard asked what he had at Waffle House. Rooster told Howard what he had there. He said they get the same thing whenever the go there. Robin asked if they order one dish. Rooster said it's just one dish. Howard said Rooster is on a weight loss thing but he's eating the wrong stuff. Rooster said he got gastric bypass so he doesn't eat a lot. He said he has to nibble on his food. He said he can't afford to be hungry and over eat. He said his stomach is the size of a 3 or 4 year old but he has the hunger of a man.
Howard asked what he weighed before. He said he was 360 and now he's down to 280. Howard said that's great.
Howard took a call from fake Dr. Now who gave Rooster some advice on his diet. Fake Dr. Now and Rooster went back and forth talking about food and diet.
Howard said Dr. Now is making a lot of sense. He asked Rooster if his parents were heavy. Rooster said not at all. He said it was just working in prison and lifting weights. He said he got a hernia and didn't know he was injured. He said he had internal problems.
Howard read about the Waffle House menu and asked about some of the stuff the sell there. Rooster explained some stuff to him. Howard said the temptation there must be great. Rooster said he just eats what he can and then they leave.
Rooster told them about how he loves vegetables and all of that. He said he eats all of that on a regular.
Howard said this isn't a paid endorsement for Waffle House or anything. Rooster said not at all. Howard took a call from Jon Hein audio book clips. they had Jon talking about different restaurants.
The clips mentioned Krispy Kreme donuts and Rooster said they suck. He said they're more honey bun like than a donut. Howard asked Jon Hein if he wants to say something about that. Jon got on and said that he respects Rooster's opinion but he disagrees with him on that. He said no one makes them better than Krispy Kreme. Rooster said you can only judge by what you've had. He said you don't know better if you haven't been all around the country. Howard asked what the best is. Rooster said it's a Mary Lee style. Jon said he's not familiar with that. Howard said Jon has been to the Krispy Kreme factory. Rooster said he may not be the expert in this conversation. Jon said he was looking more at fast food places and that other place isn't national. rooster said they are though.
Howard asked Rooster to name a better donut than Krispy Kreme. Rooster went into his thoughts on that and kept going and going.
Howard asked what Jon was thinking about this. Jon said that Dunkin' Donuts and Krispy Kreme are totally different. Rooster said he thought Dunkin' was a rip off of Krispy Kreme.
Howard said he's thinking that they should never have another donut. Jon said he wants to try one of these Mary Lee donuts.
Howard asked Rooster about other restaurants that are like Waffle House. Rooster said that Waffle House is like the white trash version of other places like Cracker Barrel. He said you can get into trouble in a Waffle House. Howard asked if he carries a gun in there. Rooster said he does. He said he takes a 9mm with him. He said you don't want to go too big when you're in a place like that. He said you just want to take down the one person. He said those places are built so poorly that a bullet will go through the person and through the walls and you'll end up killing 3 people instead of just one.
Howard said he doesn't want to go on with this all morning but who is the best and who is the worst when it comes to breakfast. Rooster said Waffle House is the best and the worst is Denny's. He had a lot of thoughts on why Denny's isn't that good even though they're considered ''high end'' to him.
Howard asked Jon Hein what he thinks about breakfast. Jon and Rooster talked about Cracker Barrel and how that's a whole other thing. Jon said that Denny's is known and if you go in with the right attitude then you're fine. He said Waffle House is mostly down south so he hasn't been there much. He said he likes IHOP and he thinks they're well run and the food is good. He said it's on the high end of that kind of thing.
Howard said he used to go to diners and he'd get something simple like a sandwich. He said that he would see a spaghetti and meatballs and wonder how that could be good in a diner. He said he started getting crazy and ordering some crazy stuff and it was fucking decent. He said you have to take the plunge.
Howard asked what their thoughts are on Olive Garden. Rooster said he had spaghetti at Pizza Hut once and it was great. He said they have chicken parm there and you just have to ask for it.
Jon said they have such good restaurants there in New York so it's really night and day going to Pizza Hut. He said the diners up there are also special and here are some cooks who can make some really good stuff.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked what they think about IHOP. Howard said they already talked about that. He said he's too late.
Howard said Rooster has a wealth of knowledge about this stuff. He said he does listen to what they have to say.
Howard took a call from a guy who gave Rooster his thoughts on getting rid of bread in his diet if he really wants to lose weight. Howard said he's right about that. He said he hasn't had bread in ages. Rooster thanked the caller for that. He said his doctor told him the same thing. He said he's spot on. He said he does eat some bread but he has cut back on it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks Dunkin' Donuts sucks. He said they ship them out frozen and re-fry them up in the locations. Jon said Krispy Kreme is at the top of the list for him. Howard said he loves Dunkin's coffee. He said he's not drinking it now but he used to love it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Rooster is eating all the wrong foods. He said get rid of him. He said he has had to have a lot of operations after having trouble with his gastric bypass surgery.
Howard thanked everyone for their calls and thoughts on all of this. He said he thinks he's had enough. Then he took a call from a guy who said he had gastric bypass surgery a few months ago and he lost 200 pounds on it. He said the big thing he had to overcome was the restaurants and going there to have a good time. He said that the food sucks at places like Dunkin' Donuts. He said he's cut back on breads but he went out and had some pizza in New York. He said he only had a few bites instead of some slices. He was going on and on about how you don't need to eat that much for your brain to think you've had enough.
Howard asked the caller how much loose skin he has after losing the weight. The caller said it's not too bad. He said he's been working out so that helps. He said he may have to take care of some skin under his arms eventually. Howard thanked everyone again and let everyone go.
Howard said he wants to make it clear that about 80 percent of SiriusXM is staffed by chronic masturbates.
Howard asked Dan how his girlfriend looks. Dan said she looks good and he's not sure why she's with him. He said he was down to 350 for a while and then he let himself go. He said she's like 112 pounds. He said she's too hot for him and he'll admit that.
Howard said he has to sit down and track his masturbation. He said he can't jerk off every day himself. He said if he knows his wife is going to do it soon he won't jerk off until they do it. He said then after he does it he can jerk off the next day or so. He said he knows she won't want it the next day again.
Robin said maybe his relationship isn't progressing because of this. Dan said that could be part of it. He said he jerks off with big loads a lot. He said he could be part of the Wack Pack. Howard said he would like to prescribe for him masturbation 2 times a day. He said cut back from 5 times a day. He said he thinks he'll turn to his girlfriend for more intimate relations and that may improve his relationship. He said he'll have time to sell more radios too. He said Dan will have that boner energy and he can conquer the world with that.
Howard said he never jerked off before work. He said that way he had this energy to get through work. He said he had a tremendous libido when he was younger. He said it takes up a lot of time. Robin said it takes away creativity too.
Howard said next up was Benjy and they knew it was going to be a disaster with him. Howard said the guys knew that it was going to go wrong. He said he has to tell Robin what happened. He said Sal was fun. He said when Benjy got the hat they knew it was going to be weird. He said for a whole weekend he didn't cum on it. He said when it went to Benjy it became like work and it wasn't so much fun anymore. He said it all came to a screeching halt. Howard played some audio from when they saw Benjy's loads on the hat.
Howard said that he's not sure what it is about Benjy but once the hat went to him everything was gone. He said it was the Benjy factor. He said he said to Will and Jason that they had lost their drive with the load and he hat. He said it just fell apart. He said he didn't even care about seeing it on Richard's head. He said he didn't care about it. He said he thinks they sucked the fun out of it. He said that's the update. Robin asked where it is now. Howard said it's still at Benjy's.
Howard said Richard was saying that he would like the hat back because he'll wash it and wear it. He said imagine being married to him.
Howard asked Jason what he thinks about this. Jason said he hates to say it's Benjy but it did come to a screeching halt. He said once it got to Benjy it just stopped being fun. He said all the laughter was gone.
Howard asked Richard if he'll really wear the hat. Richard said he was thinking about it but his wife may not go for it. He said that he has a billion other ones to wear so he doesn't need it back if he doesn't want to go through this.
Howard asked Benjy what's with him. His camera was all fucked up so the guys goofed on him about that. Jason said his camera is almost never on. He said you only see a small part of him or there's a smear on the camera.
Howard asked what's with Benjy. He said he can just throw out the hat. Benjy said he doesn't give a fuck. Howard said his feelings must be hurt. Benjy said he is kind of upset about how they're talking about him. Howard asked how many times he came on the hat. Benjy said maybe 9 or 11. Richard said he's proud of him and he would have been proud to wear his cum.
Howard asked where the hat is. Benjy said it's there. Howard asked how much it weighs. Benjy didn't know. He said it went up and down. Richard said Robin was so excited about this and now it's not going to happen. Howard said the whole bit lost steam.
Jason said that they were getting weird updates about this thing with Benjy and it was so hard to get things done with him. Howard said it became not fun anymore. Benjy said if they want to revive it and take it to the chicken coupe them they can do it. Howard said he killed it already.
Howard asked Sal what he thought about this. Sal said it really did feel weird going to Benjy. He said it was like the fourth down at the Super Bowl and Benjy came along and kicked the ball the wrong way and he stunk it all up. Benjy said this is all about anti-Semitism. He said this is the way people treat Israel and if he had done a great job... Sal said Israel is disappointed by him as well.
Howard said he's just reporting on the reality. He said they would talk about it in the meetings and they'd give him updates and it was just too much. He said that maybe the tiny load bummed them out. Sal said it did look like a baby sneeze. He said Benjy just made it exhausting. He said he should have just rolled with it but he wanted to take it outside. Howard said Sal took joy in doing it. He said Benjy acted like it was a chore for him.
Benjy said the last load he did on it came out looking exactly like Rodney Dangerfield. Howard said he's doing a bit. He said this is why the bit ended. He said everything was a shtick. He said Sal was funny and it was good. He said this is Benjy though. Benjy said he's been super depressed since this load. He showed a picture of his load and Howard said it's not like Rodney. Howard said he's going to throw up.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Rodney Dangerfield who told Benjy to keep his name out of his fucking mouth. He said this guy looks like a load of cum himself. Howard quickly bailed on that guy.
Howard said it turns out they sucked the fun out of the bit. He said he's just being honest. He said Benjy got a hold of the hat and it was all over. Jason said Sal was fun when he was doing it. Richard said Gary might be to blame too because he bailed on the whole thing. Howard said Benjy got a hold of it and it just went south.
Howard said he isn't putting Benjy down. He said he just did his job and he bravely volunteered to cum on the hat. He said he is a team player but when the hat got to him everyone lost interest. Benjy said it happens with women too so he understands.
Howard said everything took a turn for the worst when he got the hat. He said there is still some fun to have with it though. He said they like to trick radio stations into saying fake names and they sent some into some radio guys to say some wacky stuff. He played some examples from the past. Then he played a new clip where they got the DJs to say stuff about the cum hat. He played a clip of the guys saying ''Richard Christy's KC cum cap'' on the air. Robin said that was good. Howard asked how they did that. Richard said they email about 50 stations before they get one guy to read it. Howard said it's not easy to get them to say that stuff.
Howard said this is a birthday wish for Benjy's disappointing cum hat thing. They got a woman to say something about ''Benjy's cummin.'' Howard asked what it's like when they get someone to do that. Sal said it's like landing on the moon. Richard said it's great when they pronounce it perfectly. Robin asked how they catch them. Sal said they have to listen all day. Richard said they have to listen for 2 hours at times just to wait for the birthday wishes.
Howard said finally Richard and Sal got a Swap Shop host to put the hat up for sale. Howard said you won't believe how many cum references they got on the air. He played the call where the host read the description of the hat and he mentioned ''spooge'' and things like that. Then Sal called into the show and asked about the hat and said he was interested. He got in some ''jack off'' references and things like that. The host didn't know what to do other than hang up on him. Then Richard called in and said the players did a circle jerk on the hat. The host had to hang up on him.
Howard said there you go guys. He said that was grand finale for the whole hat saga. He said there's a little bit of a wrap up.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked if Benjy thinks he won't get attention for this unless he fucks it up or is he just not funny. Howard said he shouldn't be put down for volunteering. He said it's not his fault that his load was so miniscule. He said the whole bit just fizzled out. He said if you want to blame him for anything it's wasting his loads on not doing it on the hat. He said he could have had a bigger load if he had saved it for the hat. He said he knew what it was going to be like. He said he can be blamed for poor load management. He said he might have saved his first big load for that hat. The guys agreed with him on that.
Howard said they all saw Benjy's load and it was pathetic. Everyone was making fun of the size of that load. Howard said he's not sure there was enough there to get a woman pregnant. He said it was the size of a dime. He said he believes Benjy is a good guy and he wishes he had done more with it like Sal did. He said he was confused by the whole thing. He said he doesn't think he was trying to ruin it, he was trying to do something with it. Ralph said he's always trying to do a bit so he's not sure what was going on there. Benjy said he was trying to be funny. He said he may not have been as organized as the rest of them. He said he has the same difficulties that Ralph has in his life. He said he has a hard time completing things. Ralph said he can turn his camera on.
Howard asked Benjy if he's being funny or annoying. Benjy said there's nothing intentional when he's annoying.
Howard said he was talking to Chris Wilding and he was saying that was one of the saddest loads he's ever seen. Benjy said he will have a war against Sal with his load. Howard said he had the hat and he could have put him to shame. He said he didn't do it.
Chris Wilding got on and said he was talking to a guy who was in a wheelchair and that guy sent him a picture of his load and it as considerably bigger than Benjy's. Ralph asked if Benjy's was the saddest he's ever seen. Chris said it is one of the saddest 2 loads he's seen. Howard said he had the chance to one up Sal and he didn't do it. Benjy said he wants to put an egg in a Petri dish and he thinks his will be the one that impregnates the egg. Howard said come on, stop it.
Chris said he'd hate to be the guy on the show who has the small load. He said he'd be so embarrassed. Richard said he heard eating celery can make your loads bigger. Benjy said he did that and that's a celery load.
Howard asked Chris how his love life is. Chris said that he's talking to a guy in a wheelchair so how bad can it be. Howard said he heard that he's talking to a famous guy. Chris said he is. He said he's a news guy. He said that he wont mention his name.
Howard said he heard that he was lying to the guy already about how much he runs. Chris said he did. He said the guy is a big runner so he said he runs on and off a lot. He said the guy may have blown him off already. He said he was in the city and he asked if he was available and he didn't get back to him.
Chris told a story about getting on Tinder and this guy sent a picture of his cock to him and he had to go jerk off to that. He said he was in a group chat and he had to run off when he saw this cock. He said it changed his world. He said he didn't think it was anything to write home about. He said the guy was just 5'6'' and this penis is large. He showed it to the guys. Howard said it is an angry penis.
Howard said Chris has seen a lot of loads and he saw Benjy's. He said it was pathetic. He said Benjy could have done more but he didn't. He said that's why people are upset with him. He said he thinks it caught Benjy by surprise that people were upset with him. Benjy said it did. He said it was weird that he was shamed over it. Howard said it's not his fault but it did drain the fun out of the whole thing.
Benjy said he's going to a new therapist today and he has to try to explain all of this to the person. Howard said this isn't what's bothering him so stop it. Benjy said he can see it coming up. Howard said he's going to waste this therapy session over this. He said he sabotaged himself. Benjy said this is about them not loving him. Howard said everyone likes him. He told him to stop it. He said he can't bring this up in therapy. He said the last therapist kicked him out because he was inappropriate with her. Howard said please do not bring his name up in therapy. He said he doesn't want to be mentioned in it. Benjy said he'll say it happened on the Jimmy Fallon show then. Howard said good.
Howard said don't bring up things in therapy he doesn't really care about. He said he knows he doesn't care about his load. Benjy said he's very depressed lately and he has a lot he's upset about. He said mortality is one thing. He said he knows Howard is bothered by that too. He said that's what's real and upsetting. He said he knows it's upsetting to Howard too. Benjy said usually he snaps out of it but the past few months it's been hard.
Benjy said he was thinking about the donut conversation and he was just wondering why it matters because everyone is just going to die. Robin said the whole time she was almost dying she was doing the show every day. She said she wasn't coming off like this. Howard said Benjy sounds like his mother. He said she got there at 94 though. Robin said Benjy hasn't had anything to cause this though. Howard said his mother was in such a negative funk this weekend. He said his daughter went over there and he was talking to her. He said she was talking about how she wants to die again. He said then his daughter's fiancee came in and asked if she wants ice cream. He said he was going out to get some. He said her husband is having some. He said his mom perked up and got pissed that he was going to have ice cream. He said he told her if he was her he'd be having it every day. He said they got their ice cream and she wolfed it down. He said he told his mom that she could be having a party eating whatever she wants now. He said she can eat all the shit she wants to eat. He said what a great point she's at in her life. He said have whatever you want. He said his mother had pizza and ice cream last night. He said that's how Benjy should be acting. Benjy said he's thinking about things that can go wrong all the time. Howard said even if he gets hit by a car he wont know it anyway. He said just go out and have some fun.
Howard asked how many times a week he's going to go to the psychiatrist. He said that's what he wants to know. He asked how long he thinks this will last. Benjy said he won't tell him he has a crush on him so it might last longer. Howard said he'd like to know why he doesn't last with these people. Robin asked if he has ever tried medication. Benjy said he has but he didn't like the way he felt so he got off of it.
Howard said all he wanted to do was give a cum hat update. He said there's a reason why they didn't hear anything about the hat. He said Benjy got it and they lost interest in it. He said the bit is over now. He said they had some laughs and there just isn't a big finale with it. Howard asked what Benjy is going to do with the hat today. Benjy said he doesn't know. Howard said do whatever he wants to do. Benjy asked if he wants it for his museum. Howard said not with that pathetic load on it. Richard said wear it to therapy today.
Howard said that is the cum hat update. He said there it is. He thanked everyone for whatever they did. Richard said tonight is a big night in his life and he's all behind the Jayhawks tonight. He was just about in tears talking about the game. Howard asked if that's a college basketball hat he's wearing. Richard said it is. Howard asked if he wants to make a bet. He wrapped up again but Chris said Ralph just sent a text asking to see that guy's cock. He said he sent it to him. Howard tried wrapping up again and wished Benjy luck with his new therapist. He said there's your cum hat update. They played a song parody about the hat.
Howard said tomorrow they have the Red Hot Chili Peppers will be in. He said that people wrote in about Machine Gun Kelly. He read a couple of comments about that. Howard said he has more to get to tomorrow.
Robin said its nice to hear that his mom is eating again. She wasn't doing it for a while there. Howard said the doctors gave her something to get her appetite going. He said he'll be doing the same thing if he ever gets to his mother's age. Howard did a live commercial read and ended the show around 10:15am
Howard started the show taking a call from Pocket who said he's looking forward to today. Howard said he is too with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He said he's never had the band on before. He said he had Anthony in but not the whole band. He said the new album is getting good reviews. He said they're all excited about this. He said that Fred is wearing a tube sock on his dick in honor of them coming in. He said no one can fill that sock like Flea. He said he remembers what that was like back in 1999. He said Flea was flapping into his bass and he was so jealous of that. He said if he had a big dick like that he'd be walking around with no clothes all the time.
Howard said he even hides his dick from Beth when he's in the bathroom. He said guys with normal dicks don't worry about that. He said it works and it grows but it's not that big. He said he'd like to say he's a grower. He said Beth was having trouble with female issues and she blamed him for pounding her so hard over the weekend. He said he likes that after he pounds her that she has to go to the doctor. He said it's like he has a weapon down there. He has a dangerous snake in his pants.
Howard said his penis comes with great responsibility. Robin said every one does.
Howard said President Biden said his penis was a weapon of mass destruction. He said he wants to send him to Ukraine.
Pocket asked if they remember the band Crazy Town. Howard said no. Pocket said that they did the song where they sampled a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. Howard bailed on his call a short time later.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if he saw Chad's tribute to Taylor Hawkins. Howard said he'll be covering that with the band later. He said he did see what he did. He said that Chad played drums with something the Foo Fighters did. He said he can't remember. He said he has to ask about that.
Howard said the band will be in and they'll perform a few songs. He said you have to admire a band that has been around that long. Jon Hein mentioned how the Foo Fighters opened for Red Hot Chili Peppers and that's how they know each other.
Howard said he remembers the band and how great they did with ''Higher Ground.'' He said after they put that out then they had Bed, Sex, Sugar Magic came out and they had so many hits. He said they were touring with Nirvana and Pearl Jam. He said they had some huge albums of their own. He said the three of them were touring together. He said he has to ask about that. He said he doesn't want to get too involved right now though. He said he has a lot of questions.
Jon said that it was Pearl Jam opening and then Nirvana and Red Hot Chili Peppers. He said Smashing Pumpkins was part of that at one point as well.
Howard said Billy Corgan noticed that Flea actually drilled a hole in his thumb from hitting his bass so hard. He said they had to glue his finger back together when he was finished playing. He said that's how dedicated the guy is. He said just wait until they come in to get into that more.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to know if Robin ever masturbated to the band members. Robin said there is evidence that she had a crush on Anthony. Howard said she would go with him if she had the chance. Robin said of course.
The caller asked why the other guys were never on the show. Howard said he wanted Flea when he wrote his book. Fred played some clips of Robin masturbating and making noises.
The caller asked Howard if he has anything to do with the Sternthology shows because last week they had a lot of Robin sex stories. Howard said she went at herself so hard she drilled a hole in her thumb and they had to glue it back together every day.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about Benjy and when he's going to fire him. Howard said he loves Benjy and he has been there a long time. He said he will get shit though. He said Benjy was a team player with the cum hat bit. He said one of the reasons it was ruined for him is because so many people got involved in the bit. He said the funny punch line was that Richard was going to wear the hat. He said that Sirius said that they had health concerns about the hat so he had to wear something to protect his head. He said when he heard that he didn't know what the point was. He said it put a damper on the whole bit. He said it would have been funny if he had done it but if he has a protective thing on his head then what's the point? He said the thrill of the bit was having everyone cum on the thing. He said then Richard would wear it and throw up or something.
Howard said he was souring on the bit when Benjy did his thing with the hat. He said he wondered what the point was. The caller said that Benjy is always doing stuff like this on the show though. Howard said he understands. He said he is good at his job but he can be annoying. Robin said she felt bad because he was really expressing that he's struggling with something. Howard said he's fine. Robin said she's not sure about that.
Howard asked Benjy how the new psychiatrist is. He asked if he's cured. Benjy said he said his load was fine. Howard thanked him for the update. He asked what really happened. Robin said she's sorry she wasn't sympathetic yesterday. Benjy thanked her for that. Benjy said that going to the psychiatrist was weird. He said he had never really done that thing where you go like Howard goes. Howard said thanks again for the update. He said he's not answering the question. Benjy said he cried throughout it. He said that felt good. He said it's hard to tell in a session if it was going well. He said he seemed smart. He said he will go to him again.
Robin asked what he was crying over. Howard said he doesn't have to spell it out. He said he's a 55 year old man living alone in New York City so what's there to cry about? He said he has a hard time making connection with people. He said he has a small load too. Benjy said that's not his age. He said he is starting to feel like he wants a kid and he wants to get married. Robin said stop it. Howard said thanks for the update and he'll be fine.
Howard said he kind of soured on the whole thing after the protective head thing for Richard. He said Benjy is thinking about having a kid and getting married but with that tiny load he might not be able to get her pregnant. Robin said maybe he'll save them up for her.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that you can't compare your depression to your own. She said you can't diminish someone's depression. Robin said that's how she felt after the show yesterday. Howard said she should yell at Robin. The caller said she's not like that.
Howard said they got a lot of fan feedback about the Benjy thing. He read some of that. Howard said things were ruined for him with the protective head thing on Richard. Howard read some comments from fans about Benjy.
Howard said they had their fun with the cum hat. He said he has a song parody about it. He played that and said they had like 5 songs. He said it's a shame the can't use them.
Howard said the fans liked Rooster and Jon Hein talking about the fast food stuff. Howard read through some of that.
Howard said they got some feedback about Jeff the Vomit Guy who took a big hit after he defended Russia and Putin to get a woman. Howard read through that. Howard spent a little time talking about Putin and what a piece of garbage he is. He said that the Wack Pack wrote a song about Putin. He played the song where they had High Pitch Erik, Wendy the Slow Adult, Mark the Bagger, Bigfoot, Ronnie, Beetlejuice, Mariann from Brooklyn and even Jeff the Vomit Guy.
Howard said there you go. He said imagine if that stopped the war. He said he's lost the Wack Pack. Howard said that was produced by Quincy Jones. He said he got them all together to perform. He said the Wack Pack is pushing for regime change. He said they're also told that the people of Ukraine are dancing to this. He said the song wasn't in time for the Grammys so maybe next year.
Howard said that Julia Fox is in a movie in Uncut Gems and she said it in a very weird way when she said it. He played a clip of that.
Howard said he doesn't think Kanye and Julia are still together. Robin said they broke up.
Howard said he's going to have an interview with Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian today. He said that's going to be good. He wondered if they're ready to go.
Howard said one of the things they were talking about was spending more time together in Staten Island. Kim said the had to take a shower there after walking around to get the smell off of them.
Howard asked if their friends get along. Kim said Pete is so sweet. She said she has some great friends. Pete named some of his friends and had to explain their names.
Howard said in any interview with them he wants to address the elephant in the room. He asked Pete about his big dick energy. Pete said he doesn't like to talk about that. He said that he does like to do the Kermit the Hog thing for her. He said he takes it out and makes it talk. Kim told him to put it away.
Howard said this is a very exciting thing for them. Kim and Pete ended up arguing about Pete staying on Saturday Night Live or not. Kim told him to grow some balls and call Lorne now and quit. Howard said he wouldn't do that. They argued about that until Pete called fake Lorne. He hung up saying that the call dropped. They argued a little more and then Howard let them go.
Howard said someone was saying that it was shocking that Bruno Mars stood up and smoked a cigarette after winning. Howard said you can't smoke indoors anymore so he's not sure what was going on there. Robin said people still smoke though. Howard said people were upset about it. He said people get upset about everything.
Howard said he went back and watched the Derek and Julianne Hough dancing special. He said he likes when Julianne is almost nude dancing around. He said it's funny that people want to dance around to music. He said some people choose that as a profession. He said they get so moved by a song that they're like a jumping bean. He said they jump up and down and they get paid to do that. He said they get paid to move around to someone's song. He said the whole thing is just weird. Howard said he's fascinated by the whole thing. He said the whole thing was weird though. He said it was a brother and sister dancing together so that's weird.
Howard said he talked to Jon Hein about the ratings on the show. He said he didn't think it could do well. He said Jon wrote him and said that their lead in was American Idol and they had a 5.3 rating. He said that's like 5 million people. He said that's kind of lame. He said there are people like Camila Cabello who have 61 million followers on Instagram at any one time. He said when they used to measure the ratings they had maybe 25 million followers. He said that was how may they had at any given time. He said this girl has 61 million. Robin said even Seinfeld only had 18-20 million at any one time.
Jon said the number 1 show that night had just under 10 million. He said Idol had 5.2 and then the special came on and it had a little over 3 million and that's not awful. He said The Equalizer did a little better.
Howard said that this special had 3 and a half million people watching it and it as a success. Jon said it wasn't a hit but it wasn't a miss either. He said it's a Sunday night show so it's not too bad.
Howard said if he was producing the how he wouldn't want her dancing with her brother more than once. He said that he wants to see her dancing with other guys and wearing less. He said he'd like to see some outfit changes. He said there are women on the internet who snap their fingers and change outfits. He said he enjoys that. He said he's not sure what he's doing but no one is dancing and he likes seeing the outfit changes.
Howard said dancing is such a weird thing. He said when he was watching it he was thinking about how he's almost going back in time to the 50s. He said with the people making music now is just so bad. He said he never thought that such safe music would be the thing. He said it's safe and inoffensive. He said it's benign. He said he was watching Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest and the did their whole show without mentioning the slap on the Oscars. He said they didn't talk about it at all. He said it's the most anodyne type of television. Robin asked if that's a word. Howard said it's not that but inoffensive. He said he had to work that word into the show because it sounded smart to him when he read it in a book recently.
Howard said the musicians on this show were just not great musicians. He said they're heaping the Grammys on them and they're not great musicians. He said this Hough show was like a throw back to the 50s. He said he's not sure how we got back to that. He said he wishes JD had pulled some dialog between Julianne and Derek. He said the talked between songs. He said he watched to see what she was wearing. He said they did this whole number of singing in the rain and she was wearing a rain coat. He said you've got to be kidding. He said if she took that coat off maybe she would have won the time slot. Howard said she never did take it off.
Howard said he wanted to hear Ryan and Kelly talk about the slap. He said they don't want to offend anyone so they don't even bring it up. Robin said they could upset people like they're children.
Howard said Derek and Julianne did a bunch of dances to movies. He said they should have done a porno movie. He said how about that for a theme. He said he's not sure how it did well. He said there were 3 million other nudnicks watching it though. He said he's thinking about doing a live show where they talk to people who watched that show. He said he'd like to see who watched it and find out what they were thinking.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and sang along with the song a little bit. He said that he loves this song. He said that's a good name for the band. He said he bets the Red Hot Chili Peppers know them. He said they must have run across each other at some point.
Howard said he has some audio he wanted to play. He said there's this show called Euphoria that he loves watching. He said he's a big Hunter Schafer fan and a big Zendaya fan. He said they're on the show. He said Hunter Schafer used to be a boy and he can't believe it when he watches the show. He said he tells his wife that every time. He said he watches the show just for her. Robin said that's odd. Howard said he's odd and he admits it. He said she has a damn good body. He said he likes to watch her.
Howard there's a dude on the show who plays a drug dealer and he's very good at it. He said he was on the red carpet and did an interview that was very good. He said he plays a drug dealer on the show and it's very similar to who he is in real life apparently. He said the guy's name is Angus Cloud. He said he plays a character on Euphoria. He said he's so fucking real that it makes the interviewer feel like an idiot. He played the interview and Angus was talking about what he would tell the fans about the finale. He didn't have a lot to say really. He had short answers and he sounded kind of out of it.
Howard said that guy might be his favorite actor right now. He said he sounds like Spicoli. He did an impression of it. He said he hopes that guy continues to work so there are more interviews like that. He said that guy was making the interviewer sweat. He said that interviewer is Chris Harrison's fiancee.
Howard said that guy is a good actor. He said he loves this guy. He said his full name is Conor Angus Cloud Hickey. He said he thinks he watched that like 10 times.
Howard said the band is very safe and it's something that a 9 year old girl would like. He said it's not scary to them. He said to celebrate them is kind of insulting. He said they're not great musicians. He said it's a catchy song but so it the Little Mermaid. He said that it's sweet but as an adult watching that it's weird. He said Trevor Noah must not have enjoyed that. He said that he wouldn't want to do that. He said they can't be paying him that much money to do it. He said he'd like to tell Chris Rock to avoid doing shows like that too. He said just stick to doing stand up.
Howard said he thinks that Justin Bieber is a talent but he was up there singing about peaches. He said that can't be the best we have to offer musically.
The caller said that Nirvana didn't have every complicated songs. Howard said that he doesn't get that Doja Cat person. He said that she even adjusted her vagina on stage which was kind of cool but is her music really something that deserves a Grammy? He said the Beatles only won one. He said it's a really weird show. He said he watched that and then the Derek and Julianne Hough show and he felt like he was a kid again watching the Cyd Charisse show in his mother and father's house.
Howard said entertainment is just weird. He said he has someone with a celebrity sighting. Howard took the call and the woman said that Dr. Now belongs to her gym and he was working out. Robin said he must be doing the work. The caller said that he spent more time texting than working out. Howard said he doesn't like people who have their phones at the gym. He said Dr. Now is an icon and he shouldn't be on his phone working out.
Howard took a call from fake Dr. Now who went off on the caller, Kelly, for telling on him. He said she sounds fat and asked how much she weighs. He told her to get her name out of her mouth. Howard said he thinks that he is entitled to his privacy at the gym. Dr. Now said that he spends a lot of time talking to clients and she should mind her own business. He said he bench presses 350 pounds. He said she doesn't know anything about him. He told her not to waste her time with him.
Howard let Dr. Now go off on Kelly calling her fat and smelly. He said he can smell her on the other side of the gym.
Kelly said that Dr. Now did a few reps on the machines there but he did more with his phone than he did with anything else. Howard said Dr. Now is very short right. Kelly said he is. She said he's exactly like he is on TV. She said he is in the gym and putting in some effort.
Howard let fake Dr. Now keep going with the bit for a while. Chris Wilding's impression of the guy is pretty funny so Howard let him keep going. Kelly said that her trainer told her to record him but she didn't do that.
Howard said Dr. Now sounds a little too clear. Dr. Now started to mumble his speech a little bit. Howard said he knows this is his second language. Howard let Dr. Now go a short time later. Howard said they were great together.
Howard played a message that Jeff left for Robin where he told Robin to leave his name out her fucking mouth. He said that Jeff loves when Robin mentions him. He said Jeff thinks that Robin is taking her frustrations about her father out on him. He had a clip of Jeff talking about that with Chris Wilding.
Howard asked Jeff if he knows what he sounds like when he calls in. He did an impression of him and said that's what it sounds like to them. Jeff said he's not aware of it. Howard said that might be why he can't always pick up the phone. He said Jeff was on the phone while he was interviewing Machine Gun Kelly. He said the guys said that Jeff was getting belligerent on the phone wanting to get on the air. Jeff said he wasn't getting upset. He said he called up and was on hold. He said all he did was simply text Chris about it getting near the end of the interview and said he was on hold. He said that's all he did. He said Chris wrote back and asked what he wanted him to do get rid of Machine Gun Kelly. He said it's such bullshit.
Chris said that Jeff will do that during any interview. He said that he calls him a dummy every time he texts him. He said he called him the night before at 8:30 and he's just rude about everything. Howard said if he's interviewing someone then just hang up and realize it's just not his day.
Robin said no good deed goes unpunished with Jeff. She said look at what he does when he can't get on. Chris said he has to have him repeat things 3 or 4 times to get a good recording. He said he can't tell what he's saying sometimes so he has to have him do that. Howard said it's funnier that way.
Howard asked Jeff why he has to tell Chris he's on hold. He said he knows he's on hold. He said he sees that all the time. Jeff said if he knows he's on hold then why did he text him today. Chris said he had to reach out to him and that's different. He said if he's on hold during an interview it's not going to make a difference. Howard said he's not going to interrupt an interview for Jeff.
Jeff said all he was doing was telling them that he was available for after the interview. Howard said he's going to stop the interviews and put Jeff on from now on. He said that's what he has to do now. He said he'll have to do a Merv Griffin / Mrs. Miller kind of thing with him.
Howard said he has a Jeff the Drunk song for anyone who wants to hear it. He played the song which was about Jeff's boring calls.
Howard explained what a Karen is and played a clip of a woman who thinks she knows everything. He said that this woman sees some black and Latino people who are using the pool at the complex they live in. He said the woman thinks they don't belong there so she immediately steps up and confronts this group. Howard played the clip and the woman said she knows who lives there and she knows they don't belong there at the pool. She argued with the people there who insisted they live there. They all said they do live there.
Howard said there you go. He said Karen is involved with the pool. Howard said she keeps a tally on everyone within 100 miles to show how racist she isn't. Howard said he hates public pools. He said he hates being in a pool with people of an color. He said he doesn't want to be in the pool with anyone. Gary said she's the mayor of the block and she thinks she can tell everyone how life should work.
Howard said a lot of times the place have to show up. He had a clip of a woman on a bus who got kicked off for not wearing a mask. He said she freaked out and the cops came and stood around watching her. He said this woman was tiny and she's much smaller than expected. He said she's screaming at the bus as it pulls away. He said the cops don't know what to do. Gary said it was like she was stabbed in the back. Howard played the clip and the woman was screaming at the top of her lungs. Howard said these two big cops were standing there just embarrassed. He said they're like two parents watching their kid have a tantrum.
Gary said it really is like a kid being out of control and they can't do anything about it. He said they just let the woman wear herself out. Howard said he has one more to play as long as he has time. He said this is a tease for tomorrow. He said this one is a Lawyer Karen. He said this woman goes to Petco and one of the workers refused to serve her because she didn't wear a mask. He said she recites the law about the mask thing. Howard said she sounds like she's in court talking about this. He said she's reciting law to a person who is working for like 4 bucks an hour. He said the guy tells her that he's just doing his job.
Howard played the clip and this woman was reciting these laws and saying she was going to sue the company and this guy personally. She said she's suing over the civil rights act. She called the guy a demon and said that they're not protecting anyone with the shields they have up. Howard said she got a law degree from Google university.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he lives in an affluent neighborhood and he has done well for himself. He said every time he's out mowing his lawn he has a white person show up asking for a card for lawn mowing service. He said when he says he lives there they drive off confused. Howard asked if you can imagine that. He said that's a great story.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who sang a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. She said she can't wait for that. She said there's a crow in that song she sang. Howard asked her to sing that song again. Mariann did her thing. Howard let her sing a bit. She wore herself out. Howard said they'll have more Karens tomorrow. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that's James Brown the godfather of funk. He said that he knows the Red Hot Chili Peppers love James Brown. He said you can see why they'd love a good funky tune. He said hi to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He said they have a lot of great albums and songs. He said he was watching Flea playing the National anthem on his bass. He said he had no idea you could play something like that. He said congratulations on that. Flea said he woke up in the morning after that and his favorites were Marvin Gaye's and Jimi Hendrix's and he hopes he internalized them and got that emotion in there. He said Anthony and Chad were there watching too so he didn't want to do a shitty one.
Howard said it was quite impressive. He said it would be intimidating to do it on guitar after Jimi Hendrix. He said he was able to do it and it was amazing. He said he loved it. Flea thanked him.
Howard said Billy Corgan mentioned that he saw that Flea played so hard that he'd rip a hole in his thumb playing so hard. Flea said that used to be a regular occurrence. He said he used to rip it open and he would patch it with Super Glue. He said he did that for years and years. Howard said that's living on the edge. He said he'd quit playing if he did that to himself. Flea said that he remembers seeing Pete Townshend with blood running down his arm from playing so hard and he likes to think they're like that.
Howard said its good to see the guys all together. He asked how they all worked this out. Anthony said that Chad got a room at the Sunset Marquis and he stayed there. Chad said he had a weird dream. Anthony said no one cares. Chad said it was really odd. Howard said what he does care about is the fact that he put up this tribute to Taylor Hawkins from the Foo Fighters. He said he has a picture of him on his drum. He said he thought he was the loveliest guy. He said it's very upsetting. He said that's a nice tribute. He asked how many times he's done that. Chad said not too many. He said he loves Taylor. He said he was one of his best friends. He said he's still shocked and saddened by it. He said Taylor loved Howard too. He said that he always told him how great he was and told him he should do the show. Howard said he's glad they did. Chad said that Taylor loved life. Chad said he's going to miss him so much. He said he was a godfather to his son Beckett. He said they played a lot of shows with them back in the day. He said he loves his family and he's trying to be there for them.
Howard said he asked Taylor to be his son's godfather and he said of course. He said he was excited about it. He said he asked what he has to do and he said not much actually and Taylor said he can do that.
Howard asked Chad if he can get into it with Taylor because they can talk about drums. He asked if that's the close bond. Chad said that's part of it. He said there were personal levels too. He said they would often talk about things that they had in common. He said they were also both married with kids around the same age. He said they were able to talk about their lives like that too. He said it was a crazy wives and crazy lives kind of thing. He said the were able to connect on that as well as their friendship.
Howard said on this show he asks who the greatest drummer of all time is. He said John Bonham. Chad said yes. Howard said he said that too. Chad said Howard is a smart and powerful man. Howard asked what it was about him that was so great. Chad said he did play with a ferocious energy but he had finesse as well. He said he played dynamically and he was an innovator. He said he was very good from the first album. He said he had his sound from the start. He said he was great but there are other great ones out there. He said that John is the one for him though. He said the guy as just incredible.
Howard asked Chad how he learned to play and if he listened to other guys and found his own style. Chad said he did that. He said he would play along to Led Zeppelin and other bands. He said you'd try to emulate the feel of those songs and it was exciting for a teenager thinking about playing in a big band. He said that he had to get his chops up and learn to do things. He said that he had to figure out how to make it his own. He said he would spend hours in the basement practicing. He said his mother would go out and let him do that when she was away. He said she'd flick the lights on when she got home and it was like his own light show.
Howard said his mother didn't let him play drums. He said it has to be a very tolerant parent who can put up with that. Chad said he's right. He said that his mother never took them away from him. He said she let him go for long periods of time too. He said she never took that away from him.
Howard asked his mom got to see his success. Chad said his mother is 95 and still in that same house he grew up in. He said she asks him why he doesn't stay there. He said that he's 63 now. He said that the were just inducted into the Walk of Fame and his mom was so happy about that. He said she was thrilled because Carol Burnett is on the walk of fame.
Howard said the guys got that star and he didn't think they'd be excited about it. He said he gets it now. He said it's a big deal for Anthony and Flea because they grew up out there.
Howard said Flea started out as a trumpet player. He said he didn't even like rock and roll. He said he was a bit of a snob. He asked why he picked up the bass. Flea told Howard how he and Anthony knew this guy Hillel Slovak and he saw him drive by in his Datsun 510 hatchback and he picked them up. He said they became a threesome and became best friends. He said Hillel played guitar in a rock band and not long after that he asked him to play bass in the band so that's why he started. He said he didn't like rock music at the time but he got into it because of Hillel. He said he never even liked rock music. He said he grew up in a jazz house and he wanted to be a trumpet player like Dizzy Gillespie. He said he went to see Hillel play and he got into rock thanks to him. He said 2 or 3 weeks later he was playing bass for Anthem.
Howard asked if he was a savant the way he picked up trumpet. He asked if he had some natural ability or did he just attack the bass. Flea said it may not have been either. He said it was easy to pick up and he was fearless about music. He said he was so in love with their idea of being in a band and being friends. He said he yearned for the feeling of community and belonging and doing something. He said it meant so much to him and girls were talking to him. He said he doesn't think he even had time to think about it. He said his brain doesn't work in a way that's smart. He said he was swept away with the idea of being friends with he guys in the band.
Howard asked if he anyone can learn to be a world class musician or do you need to have a natural talent. He said he heard that you need to be a good mathematician to be good. John said he heard an interesting thing about it the other day. He said it might have to be a life or death thing inside you that makes you need to do it. He said it's like if someone gave a pill to someone who had given up on something. He said when he was growing up he didn't feel talented but it seemed like a matter of life or death that he had to get good at it. Howard said imagine if he didn't have that. He said painting became that for him. He said he could have wasted 8 years not learning that if he hadn't had that. He said it's incredible.
Howard asked Flea if he thinks that Jack Bruce was the best bass player of all time because he played chords on his bass. Flea said it's hard to say best. He said that Lemmy is great too. He said there's so many great bass players that he's humbled by. He said there are just so many. He said Jocko Pistorius was great too. He said he can't look at it that way.
Howard asked the guys about the Grammys and if they agree that it's too sweet and not so edgy now. He said it's not living up to what he expects. Anthony asked the guys if they saw the Grammys. One of the guys said he saw a little bit. The guys said they didn't pay much attention to the Grammys. Howard asked if it's just unimportant now. Anthony said he hasn't watched for a long time. Howard asked if being inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame was important to them. Flea said he doesn't really care about any accolade until they get one and he feels like they're being seen. He said they just put out this record and it's great but being seen. He said their new album is something he's just in awe of because of the work they put into it. He said they're just workers. He said the hone and work and refine this stuff and it's like they're workers.
Howard asked them to tell him what its like to write a song. He said that Anthony writes most of the lyrics. Anthony said he hopes so. Howard asked if he waits for someone to come to him with a track or what. He asked if he has a journal. Anthony said they're not married to a process. He said anything goes. He said they all like to build something so on any given day it can come from anyone. He said Flea can show up and have something or John or Chad will have something to play. He said they have a beat to play. Anthony said he might start writing words and bring them to practice. He said anything goes.
Howard asked Anthony about the song ''Under the Bridge'' and how that came about. He said he knows there's a story there about being under a bridge and feeling alone and alienated. He said he felt that loneliness and he said the lyrics to himself. Anthony said that's not far from the truth. He said he alienated himself from the rest of the world. He said he wrote a poem to himself and that was in his notebook. He said Rick Rubin saw this poem on the back of the notebook and he had him sing it to him. He said he had the tune in his head and it had a melody to it. Howard asked if he thought it wasn't good enough for the band. Anthony said the whole melody changed when John put his part together. He said he didn't have the whole thing together. He said that it was different and personal. He said the cool thing was that when he sang it to anyone they all wanted to work on it.
Howard said it's like he had gold there and maybe it's thanks to Rick Rubin that he did that song. He said he gave him the confidence to take it to the band. Anthony said that John is a guy who sees something in the rough that wants to come to life. He said he's a master of bringing it to life. He said they have a safe space when they work on things like that. He said they can be honest with each other too and that helps.
Flea said that everyone is comfortable feeling vulnerable with each other too. He said you're okay if you got shot down.
Howard asked John about the start of Under the Bridge and how that's something he did as a tribute to Jimi Hendrix ''Little Wing.'' John said that it's a tribute to what the Minute Men used to do. He said when he heard Anthony sing the song they had been covering Castles made of Sand that Jimi did and they're all in this certain style and it was in the back of his head that they could do something like that some day. He said that song was a perfect time to do it.
Howard said they're really good at covers. He said at Woodstock they did ''Fire'' and it was fucking awesome. He said it was a great song to cover and a great cover. He said everything about it was just great. He said he's not sure how Flea doesn't injure his penis playing with that thing swinging around. He said he's so envious of that thing. He said he has nothing but if he did he'd be naked all the time.
Howard said it's amazing that ''Higher Ground'' became the hit it was. He asked if they had to go to Stevie Wonder to get permission to cover it. Flea said he thinks they have to get it legally but the just did it. He said the first time he played with John Frusciante he had a friend named DH and he started playing that song. He said he had never played it with anyone before. He said that was the first time he and John had ever played together. He said they were sitting in the car listening to it. He said it was back in the 80s when there was a lot of bad heavy metal and they could have done better. He said it was a heavy metal tune with a deep groove. He said when Howard mentioned it earlier they weren't thinking about doing a really ambitious thing. He said they just thought it was a cool idea.
Howard said this is what happened. He played some of their cover of ''Higher Ground.'' Howard said he wants to hear a little bit of that. He asked if they ever heard from Stevie about that. Chad said that he talked to Stevie and he said he likes the publishing checks. He said he thinks someone saw him and he played it for them and he liked the way they changed something. Flea said he had a funny experience with him in a hotel lobby in Detroit. He said someone called him and told him Stevie was there. He said he loves Stevie and he's one of his favorites. He said he ran down there and walked up to Stevie and introduced himself. He said he wanted to say hello and he said he loves him. He said he didn't say a word and looked straight ahead. He said he felt awkward so he just said it again and asked him to have a beautiful day. He said he still said nothing. He said he got ready to walk away. He said then he asked if he's one of the members. He said he was kind of waiting to see if he would engage. He said then he asked them to play for a charity event or something. He said that he has been very generous to him since then. He said he admires him very much.
Chad asked if he has seen the Summer of Soul movie yet. Howard said not yet. Chad said that Stevie does a drum solo in the movie that will blow your mind. He said that you think of him as a piano player or a singer but to see him in 1969 it's incredible. He said it's worth it alone just for that. He said he thinks that's the best part of the film.
Howard asked Chad about his daughter who is on American Idol. He said that she covered Stevie's song ''Lately.'' He asked if he coached her at all. Chad said he's very proud of her. He said she's a great kid and he's so proud of her. He said she's working hard. He said the other thing about that stuff is that she's up at 5 in the morning like they are. He said there's a lot of work they have to do. He said it's a good experience for someone and especially for a kid like that.
Howard said that show must be tough to be on because you have 3 people judging you. Chad said that's the worst part of it. Howard said it's a scary proposition to have people judging you. He said the audience is usually the judge. He said that's it. He said it's got to be intimidating to be on that show.
Flea asked if Anthony remembers listening to Lately and being brought to tears. Anthony said he remembers that. He said he heard that Ava had done it and he was thinking about that. He said he wanted to say to Ava that she's been playing for 10-11 years so she's put in the time.
Flea said that he and Anthony would go to the Lakers game and they hear someone singing the National Anthem and it turns out it was Ava. He said he was so mind blown. He said that they were just blown away.
Howard said he thinks she's going to win American Idol. Chad said he must have some pull so he asked him to do something for her. Howard said she's really talented. He said that she can really sing. He said it can be horrible to go on that show and have your kid be humiliated. He said she must get the reaction that her dad is in this band and she must think she's so great. Chad said that she has been very good about making sure that is not the case. He said she doesn't want it to be that nepotism thing. He said she wants to do it on her own. He said it's not that she's getting a leg up because of who her father is. He said she has done it on that TV show. He said he is supporting her but he's not there. He said he does commend her and applauds her for being there.
Howard said this new album is getting some good reviews. He said they could have just kept playing the hits but they went out and made a new album. He said it seems to him that having John back is a great thing. He said he seems to be the catalyst to elevate their game. He asked if that's something real. He said it seems to go to a certain level. Anthony said John is their brother and his energy is inspiring to them. He said that he offers a lot to the band and it's a cosmic ability to listen to the air around him. He said he can bring so much to a song. He said it does make them want to work harder. He said it's also fun just writing songs. Anthony said they didn't just go to write hits. He said the just jammed and played old songs they did in the 80s and whatever came, just came. He said that they didn't try to manufacture anything.
Howard asked if it was good for John to have some time off. He said he would think it must have been difficult to step away. John said he didn't spend time regretting it. He said it was the right thing to do at the time. He said he was just making electronic music and they were in different worlds. Howard asked what made him ready to come back. John said it was a certain amount of should searching that he had done. He said he had conversations with close friends about it and it seemed like he had changed enough as a person that he could go do things that he wanted to do. He said he was seeing Flea and Anthony in a new light as well. He said it was just time. He said he found that he needed to clear his head of things and figure out who he is as a person. He said in 2019 he rejoined for the second time and he waned to have that closeness with them and that interaction.
Howard said it must have been great for the guys to have him come back. He said it must have been a no brainer. He asked if the had to discuss it. Anthony said there was something in the air and they didn't know that Flea was having interactions with John. He said he did want to get John back and he and Flea went to each other to say something important and it was just time for him to comeback. He said he found it interesting that Flea was playing with John and there was no bad feelings there. He said they were able to keep things going while he was away so they were there when he wanted to come back.
Howard said he feels like the four of them just get each other. He said it's nice to see them all together again.
Howard said in 1991 when Blood Sugar Sex Magic came out it was really something. He said that they had so many great records coming out back then. He said that he can't imagine what the tour with Pearl Jam and Nirvana was like. He said they were all so huge at the time. Howard asked what it was like back then. He said it must have been amazing. Flea said he thinks that it was different for all of them. He said he remembers it was just another tour. He said they wanted to pour their souls into it. He said they were just all good bands. He said that Nirvana was doing well and Pearl Jam was making their name. He said he knew Eddie before he was even in Pearl Jam. He said he thought it was cool he was in a band. He said it was all just meaningful and organic. He said it wasn't about them being with a big band.
Howard asked if they felt competitive with the other bands. He said as the closer you want to blow people's minds. He said you have to put the other bands in their place. Flea said he never feels competitive but he wants to go out there and just blow people away. He said that Nirvana was something really special and he felt that when they were out there.
John said that he was thinking about how it was another life or death kind of thing for them. He said they put themselves under a lot of pressure to be good. He said they wanted to be able to explode together on stage.
Howard asked if they're chasing that high of doing a show and feeling that high from pulling it off. John said it meant a lot to them to play and even in rehearsal it meant a lot. He said there were times when there were people in the band early on who it didn't mean as much to. He said that the band wouldn't have become what it was with that going on. He said they all had to be into it.
Howard said if they did have that then they could have been a failure. John said yeah. He said none of the individual members could have been as good.
Anthony said that Nirvana was just good. He said he thinks that some of this is natural. He said you have to have an idiot in the band and that's him. He said he has this savant kind of thing and you need some balance n the band. He said it was just natural to him when they played together. He said they all had the passion and Nirvana had that as well. He said they were good at the song writing and the playing. He said they just had this combustibility that came from somewhere.
Howard asked Anthony if he ever talked to Kurt about being a front man. Anthony said he was always nervous around Kurt. He said he never wanted to talk about being the front man. He said he and Flea had some nice times with Kurt back stage at MTV. He said he just sat with him and had a good time. He said he was loose and warm and inviting. He said it was nice to have that. He said he was a beautiful dude and he left us with a ton of beautiful music. He said Smashing Pumpkins were part of that tour as well and they were wild and beautiful as well.
Howard asked if Anthony has ever sat with anyone who wanted a mentor or something like that. He asked if he ever opens up to someone who he feels is worthwhile dealing with. He said fronting a band has to be a lot of pressure. He asked who he can turn to. Anthony said he doesn't consider himself a front man. He said they have 4 front men. He said that it's never been about one man. He said it's about the boys. He said he doesn't feel the pressure. He said he has all these guys next to him and it's well distributed. He said he doesn't need another musician to speak to. He said he can talk to anybody about it. He said he can talk to his sister if he has to. He said he doesn't feel like he has to talk to other singers about it.
Howard asked if that's what has held the band together. He said he's not a diva. Anthony laughed. Howard said maybe he is a diva. Flea said he brought up that tour and talking about the pressure. He said what he remembers about the tour is that he was completely losing it on that tour. He said he felt so much stress but not because the had become more famous or anything. He said it had just come to a point. He said he felt so lost and he had gotten divorced. He said he was struggling so hard to just sleep and be okay. He said it was a lot of anxiety. He said he was lost in it. He said he wishes he had someone he could have talked to about it. He said he just had to surrender and be thoughtful about the whole thing.
Howard said he would have thought that they could be on top of the world when that album came out. Flea said he just felt overwhelmed by the quantity of work. He said then John left and everything was kind of spiraling. He said he couldn't really deal with it.
John said he's sure that happens in a lot of professions. He said that you make it but you haven't really changed. He said you think it will solve your problems but it doesn't. He said it just comes as a shock that achieving your dreams doesn't make you a more happy person. Howard asked John if that's what happened to him. John said he thinks he didn't have a lot of illusions about success. He said that was an aspect for sure. He said he did have a defensiveness about how he felt. He said he was allowed to feel however he felt. John said it's hard to live in a world where people are congratulating you and you feel impervious to the positivity you're getting from people. He said someone will ask you for an autograph and it feels like an insult. He said things feel backwards. He said the world is just humiliating all the time. He said very few people understand that. He said he couldn't get one ounce of understanding from his friends other than Flea.
Howard said he read Flea's book and related to it because of his OCD. He said he has magical thinking sometimes. He said he has weird feelings like Flea wrote about. He said he wishes he could get it out of his life but he can't. He said you're not crazy but you still can't help it. Flea said it waxes and wanes for him. He said his wife helps him a lot with that. He said he thinks that if he doesn't move the soap 3 times horrible things might happen to him. He said he thinks about that a lot. He said he thinks that it's from horrible things that happened in his childhood. Howard asked if he has ever had thoughts that the band might break up over not moving 3 steps or anything like that. Flea said with the band you have to do your job well. He said when he's with them then everything else doesn't matter.
Howard said he's excited to hear them play now. He said they're going to go back to the album Blood Sugar Sex Magic and play a song. Howard played some quick clips of the songs they had on that album. He asked Anthony of one of the songs was inspired by a relationship he had with Sinead O'Connor. Anthony said he would say he's right but if you ask her she'd say he's wrong. He said it's also very much from the help of John.
Howard asked a bunch of questions about how they wrote the song and how they came up with the ending for it. Then he asked them to perform ''Under the Bridge.''
After the song Howard asked Flea if he still plays every day. Flea said he doesn't play guitar ever but bass he does practice quite frequently. Flea said the band is active so he wants to be on top of his game. Anthony asked if Flea can go pee for him. Howard asked if he has to pee. Anthony said Flea can do it for him and he'll feel the relief from it.
Howard said the band goes on from there. He played more clips of their hit songs. Howard said they keep coming. He played hit song after hit song.
Howard said what a resume. He asked if they recently sold their catalog. He said that had to be a big decision. He said you have to worry about how your songs are used. He asked how big that was. John said they sold their publishing but not the masters. He said the still make the decisions on who gets to use it in movies or anything like that. Howard said that's good. John said the songs are still theirs so that's a good thing.
Howard said the boys have a new album out and they have to talk about that. He said that they're doing a stadium tour. He said John doesn't like doing them. John said he has been comfortable doing them. He said when they started playing theaters that bothered him. He said arenas bothered him too. He said he liked the intimacy of clubs but he likes the stadiums. Howard said maybe that's what he was referring to. He said it's a whole new way of relating to the audience. John said their music changed in accordance with it. He said it was the right stuff to play in an arena. He said the tunes weren't meant to be played in clubs anymore. He said the music got too big for the clubs.
Howard said what's a cool move is the pedals that John has. He said he loves when guitar players hit those pedals. He said it must look cool to chicks. Anthony said he has a ''girls'' pedal down there. Howard said he's telling you that it's a cool thing. He said they think it's funny but he wonders what the fuck is going on up there when he does that. He asked John if he can demonstrate. John showed Howard what he has there and played something to show what the pedals can do for you. He showed distortion and wah-wah thing.
Howard said he loved when they did Fire at Woodstock. He said he really loved that cover. Howard had Chad take him through his drum kit too. He said it looks like there's a lot going on there. Chad said he's kind of been using the same setup over time. He said he has some new noises here. He showed Howard what he use most. He said there are three things he uses. He said that's how he fooled people for the past 34 years.
Howard asked what song it was that he got pots and pans for. Chad said it was the band who went out and got some stuff to bring back to play from a junk yard. He said they picked a thing and went for it and it was great.
Howard said he sees that Flea is constantly moving his fingers. He asked what he's doing there. Flea said he's just keeping his fingers warm. He said he has to do that. He said he keeps his fingers strong and ready that way. Howard said you have to stay in shape to keep doing that the older you get. Flea said when he was like 12 years old this old man came up to him and said take care of yourself because you pay later. He said he thinks about that now and he was right.
Howard said it's hard to believe that he was getting high at 11 years old. Flea said his parents didn't keep a close eye.
Howard said the new song is ''These are the Ways'' and he wondered if they had played it anywhere else. Anthony said that they did play it the other night at a theater. Howard asked how often they have rehearsed it when you know you're playing. Anthony said they are a little bit under rehearsed. Howard asked if they're nervous doing it. Anthony said he would be nervous either way. Howard asked if he still gets nervous before a show. Anthony said he tries to.
Howard said what drives him crazy is that he played the bass line for ''Bust a Move'' and he didn't get anything from it. He said he's also on Alanis Morissette's ''You Oughta Know'' too. He asked if he had any idea that it was going to be so big. Flea said not at all. He said if someone asks him to come play he'll just come play.
Howard asked Anthony what he can tell them about this song. Anthony said John and a beautiful arrangement that felt great and all he had to do was fill in some lyrical blanks. He said John had an approach for the song and he just listened and went and drove around until some words fell out of the sky into their place and refined it a little bit. He said that the country was going through an upheaval and they took a moment to look at ourselves and he didn't take sides and just wrote about that. He said that it's also got a little bit of The Who in it. John said the inspiration for it was The Sparks album ''Propaganda.'' He said he has about 20 more parts that he came up with and didn't give them. He said he picked his favorites.
Howard asked John if the song is anything like what he expected it to be. John said that you know when you come into the group that the song will be different. He said that they changed it in a way that he couldn't have imagined. He said that every word is perfectly appropriate for the song and he didn't know the drums were going to be the way they are. He said you never know what the overall building is going to be. He said you don't have a plan. He said you just have a fragment of an idea even if it's a whole idea for a song. He said it's just a guitar part.
Howard said he must be shocked by it when they go a different way. John said that lyrics are the hardest part to do and when Anthony comes in and does it then it turns into a record.
Howard asked if Anthony ever feels self conscious about writing the lyrics. Anthony said he doesn't have time to feel self conscious. He said that would slow him down. He said if he over thought it he would fall behind the work. He said just write it and move on to the next. He said the music is so suggestive that he has that to rely on. He said it's not just him. He said he doesn't have time to over think it. He said he had 50 songs to write to with this album.
Howard asked if he stops his car and starts writing things down or what. Anthony said you have to get voice notes or pull over. He said he doesn't trust himself to remember. He said he might wake up in the middle of the night and you have to write it down. He said it could be gone if you don't.
Howard said he has an app called Brain Toss so you hit it and it emails it to you right away. Anthony said he needs it but he's app phobic. He said he has good pads of paper.
Howard asked if he would ever publish his notes. Anthony said he'd rather write new shit than publish old shit.
Howard said the new album is called Unlimited Love and this song is called ''These are The Ways.'' He said the boys are a little under rehearsed. He had the guys perform the song.
After the song Howard said that was some drum part. He asked if Chad is okay. He said it's all good. Howard said fuck rehearsal. He said they sounded great on that.
Howard asked what he was referring to in the song when he said that Bruce and George are singing for their own reward. Anthony said he was writing about the dudes who sing for he sake of singing. Robin said that was fun to watch Chad doing his thing. Howard said he has to get in the fucking gym to get into shape. Robin said she can't even jump up and down like Anthony was. Howard said a lot of kids just can't do what Anthony does. He said if he sees one more punk not jumping around he's going to get pissed.
Howard asked if Chad is okay. Flea said he's fine. Chad said it's all good. Howard said he's worried about him. He said that was some bass line Flea had. He asked him to play a little bit of something. Flea played a little bit for him.
Howard said it's almost like he's drumming. He said he has a way of doing it that's really interesting. Flea said he's always related to rhythm. He said he loves rhythm. He said it does good things to his heart. Howard asked if he's the best bass player in the world right now. Flea said no. Anthony said he agrees. He said when Flea plays he makes him want to sing. He said there will never be a best. Flea said he is a huge fan of Thundercat and Mono Neon. Howard said he's in awe of Flea and he's never heard of those other guys.
Howard said the audience was very excited that they were going to be on today. He said he's glad they came on. He said they have been together and are still playing at this level. He said it's great. He said he has to thank Flea and Chad for playing on his Private Parts movie soundtrack album. Flea said he thought about that this morning as he was making his coffee.
Howard said his favorite video they did was Dani California when they dressed up like all the different bands. He asked whose concept that was. Anthony said he would give credit to the Marx brothers. Flea said that was Tony K who came up with that idea. Howard said they dressed up like a bunch of bands. He said it was very innovative. He said MTV must have been a big deal for them. Anthony said they liked the idea of music television. He said they did a video for this song and they knocked that out of the park. Flea said the Dani California video was a conglomeration of eras. He went through the list of eras they did and talked about the looks they had in the video.
Flea said that when it was happening and MTV was blowing up he thought it was kind of corny. He said most of the videos are terrible but now he looks back on it and he thinks about how he misses it. He said we don't have anything like that on television now. Howard said he misses it too.
Howard asked if they took their shirts off to rebel against what everyone else was wearing on TV. Anthony said that was the expression to be free and minimalist. Howard said he'd be free too but he has a belly.
Howard said they're going to end this celebration and do one more song. He said ''Give it Away'' is a song that they're going to close with. Anthony said the close with that very often. He said it's a nice sentiment to leave people with and it's hard to follow that song. He said that song does not get old for him. He said it doesn't get too boring. Howard said he would imagine he's played it a lot. He asked if he has any memories about the song. Anthony said he has memories of Flea playing that bass line and he thought it was something he could sing to. He said he hers those guitar notes coming in and they still ring true in his heart. Howard said when he did the song he just free styled it. Anthony said that was in rehearsal. He said they just kept it. He said he did sit there on the couch writing lyrics to the last second before recording.
Howard asked how Flea came up with that bass line. Flea said most of his long lasting musical ideas come from just jamming with the guys. He said he'll play something in the spur of the moment. He said they can be playing and they come up with something and the guys will all remember it for him so he doesn't have to remember it.
Howard asked if the guys saw the Beatles special. John said he watches like 40 minutes of it. He said he thought it should be even longer form. He said that he wasn't bored by it or anything. He said that he has these band interactions every day and when he relaxes he doesn't want to watch the bands doing the same thing he does every day. Howard said it must be too painful. Flea said not painful but he wants to watch something like a movie.
Howard had the guys perform ''Give it Away.'' After the song Howard just said ''Wow!''and bravo. He said that Flea has to go on Dancing with the Stars. He said he would win the trophy. He said he's so dynamic. He asked about the stage moves and how that's part of the show. He said that when Anthony sees Flea moving like that it must inspire him. Anthony said he is not lying. He said he saw a reflection to his left and thought someone in the lobby was getting down but it turned out to be Flea. Howard asked Flea if he's moved by his own music. Flea said he loves the rhythm thing and that's the way his body moves when he's playing a certain way. He said he moves his body and it dictates the way he plays. He said it's just the psychical experience.
Howard said he has never seen a more entertaining band. He said they all move in their own way. He said that Flea is amazing and Anthony is amazing with the singing. He said he has to thank Pat Smear for inspiring John to play. He said without Pat he may not have picked up a guitar. John said maybe not. He said The Germs was the first band that really got him into that and he loved the sounds they had in their songs. He said everything about the way Pat played was magic to him. He said he just anted to make those sounds.
Howard thanked the guys for coming in and playing. He gave them some plugs for the album Unlimited Love and said they play a lot of their stuff on a lot of their channels there. He said they have their own channel there for a limited time.
Howard asked if the guys have any message to give. He said maybe say something about Will Smith since he smacked Chris Rock who inducted them into the Hall of Fame. Flea just said he loves Chris Rock and he should not have been smacked. Anthony said he agrees with that. He said he loves comedians and he loves to be offended. He said that he didn't think he was being offensive at the time. He said the message is that they're just happy to be back in this world and this band and in this life. He said it's important to acknowledge the simple things in life. He said being in the band is a lot of that. He said remember to point out the good stuff. Howard said lets slap the bass and not the face.
Howard thanked the guys again and wrapped up. He gave them another plug for he new album. He thanked them for spending so much time with them. Robin said it was an honor and it was so good to see them. Howard welcomed John back too. He said he thinks the guys need him. Anthony said John tells them that all the time. Howard wrapped up and ended the interview.
Howard said they will put up the performance on the app as soon as possible. Howard said tomorrow they have Amy Schumer. He said they have a lot more to get to as well. He ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard said he can't fall asleep but Beth can. He said he saw her eyes closed and she told him not to watch the show without her. He said she asked if she was asleep and she says no and keep watching. He said he's not sure if he should keep watching. He said Beth tells him yes. He said he's confused by her. He said they watch American Idol and last night she fell asleep during the show. He said that's the appropriate thing to do during that show. He said he watches the show ''From'' too but she doesn't mind if he keeps watching it when she's sleeping.
Howard said Beth will miss something and ask him to rewind it. He said he's already seen it. He said he does whatever she says since she gives him sex. He said that's amazing. He said they tell you to tell your wife she's beautiful. He said he got up this morning and said that she looks beautiful. He said she told him to stop it because he's embarrassing her. Howard said they tell you to say that in magazines and they have no idea what they're talking about. He said he just does it.
Howard said Beth has kind of been sticking it to him lately. He said she's been having a urinary tract infection or something lately. He said it's some kind of female problem. He said he was doing some research for the show and found out there's a G-spot and an A-spot. He said he went to this web site to read about the A-spot. He said there's a big graphic cartoon of the vagina there. He said he thought the UTI had something to do with the vagina but Robin said he's wrong. Robin said the urethra is very close to the vagina. Howard said he just has a dick. He said everything comes out of it. Robin went into more detail and said you can sometimes infect the urethra because of the in and out motion. She said you can also irritate it through the walls of the vagina.
Howard said what Robin is saying is there are two caves. Robin said yes but one is a very small tube. Howard asked if it's a green type of tube. Robin said it should be lit. Howard said he just knows that her A and G spots are inflamed.
Howard said Beth has been blaming him for doing this to her by pounding her very hard. He said he evidently did some damage there. He said that she was going to handle it without an antibiotic but then she decided to get it. He said he told her how good looking she was and she said he has to get laid to get rid of that. Howard said he should get her down there to describe to Robin what's going on.
Howard said he's kind of walking around proud that he destroyed her vagina. He said he said to her that he can pound hard. He said she said yeah. Howard said she likes that so he delivers. Howard said he does what she wants.
Robin said she was watching a movie called ''Revenge'' with Orlando Bloom in it. She said that it may not be for Howard. She said he runs around thinking about killing a priest. She said it's a depressing movie because the priest molested him as a child but there are some love scenes where he's pounding away at the girlfriend. She said it doesn't look like fun when she sees that. Howard said he doesn't enjoy pounding hard. He said he likes to go slow. He did feel proud of this though. He said he does what his wife tells him to do.
Howard said he was thinking about how his penis needs a warning label. He said he was very taken with himself. He said she is accusing him of being the one who got this going on with her. He said she doesn't know that for a fact but he'll take full credit.
Robin said she's thinking that those things don't happen with couples who have been together for a long time. Howard said he is a wrecker of vagina. He said it happens in his relationship. Robin said maybe if you haven't done it in a long time. Howard said he has always had low self esteem with his penis and this made him feel kind of masculine. He said he did look at his penis the other day and wonder how that tiny thing did that damage.
Robin said here are things that women should do after having sex. Howard said she does urinate after. He said she runs off and he wonders where she's going. He said that she should be unable to move after a little bit. He said she should want to be close to him. He said he's evidently a pussy punisher. Robin said sure he is. Howard said he's the general of genital destruction. He said he's the kamakazi of vagina. A twat terrorist.
Howard said he was posting on social media when he first got on and people complained that he was on too much. He said he gave up and just stuck to Sirius. He said that he felt self conscious about it too. He said he was having some fun with it but he hates being criticized so he stopped. He said he has a thin skin.
Howard said when you go on social media and say you're leaving show business then it's 2 weeks later that they're on in full force. He said they can't stay away.
Howard said his dad is really out of it lately. He said he was really out of it yesterday. He said that they live in a small place but his father has to be told what to do all the time now. He said his brain is shutting down and he used to be so bright and he would read the paper all the time. He said he thinks he's still reading and retaining stuff. He said it's in his head but now there's been a turn in his behavior where his routine isn't clear to him anymore. He said he's falling asleep a lot. He said the dude is 98 years old. He said he's been around for almost 100 years. Robin said once the got COVID things seemed to go down hill. Howard said they did get it and they recovered but they have issues. He said his mother is in pain all the time. He said the other day his mother was eating ice cream and said she couldn't taste it. Robin said the may not get that back. Howard said his mother's face is the same but she was always very proud of her routine and all of that. He said she doesn't even want to get dressed now. He said to see her like that is frightening.
Howard said he was talking to a woman at the hospital the other day and he was doing stuff for the show and he had to take her call. He said he ended up talking to her and she was very upbeat and asking for some information about his mother and father. He said he told her they were 94 and 98 and she said what a blessing that is. Howard said she sounded happy that they were that old and she was carrying on. He said she has no idea how bad things are. He said this was supposed to take 5 minutes but it took like 30. He said it's been unbelievable. He said he and Robin talk about this off the air too. He said he tells her he's going nuts. He said Robin gives him a lecture about the aging population in the United States and she snaps him out of it.
Howard asked Amy if she'd host the Oscars again. She gave him a yes answer to that. He asked if he's attractive. She puked.
Howard said he has a lot to get to today. He said he has to get to that Karens package that Gary has.
Howard asked Robin if she knew that Jimmy Kimmel and Fallon swapped places for their shows on April fools. He said he has talked to both of them about their friendship. He said that he thought that warring with people is the way to go to get an audience. He said he went into therapy over the radio war thing. He said that when he sees Kimmel and Fallon trading places it makes him think that they're more evolved than him. He said they're able to switch shows and not be competitive with one another. He said in the end what does it all mean?
Robin said they often ask if the bands they interview are competitive. Robin said they asked that of the Chili Peppers yesterday. She said they say that they were inspired by what other bands are doing. She said that everyone is sort of moving that way other than Russia. Robin said we're all good and we can be better.
Howard said evidently Jimmy and Jimmy flew from their respective coasts to the other to do their shows. Howard joked that they banged the other wives.
Howard said he thinks that he and Beth got the Jimmy's together. He said he has a story about getting them together. He said Beth reminded him of this. He said when Kimmel got engaged to Molly they had an engagement party for them at his home. He said they had Fallon and his wife over. He said Fallon showed up that night and he was being very talented. He said he was showing off. He said when he enters a room he is the life of the party. He said he starts doing impressions and singing. He said he is an entertainer's entertainer. He said he kills. Robin said he signed every page of Hoard's guest book. Howard said he didn't know that. He said that's funny. He said you can't help but laugh.
Howard said some people came up and said that they had to go against this guy. He said it wasn't Kimmel though. He said it was other producer types. Howard said he was thinking maybe he shouldn't have invited him. He said he thought he had made a mistake.
Howard said he had Kimmel over again and he asked him to invite the Fallons over again. He said he is the reason those guys are friends. He said he would like some credit for that. He said he never brings people together. He said he's too wrapped up in himself. He said that really was an accident. He said he invited Robin over to the party too. He said that was a fun party. He said those guys are busy carrying on with one another now.
Robin said she remembers that there was a seat for Beth next to Howard and they left it open. She said Fallon came in and sat right next to Howard. She said when he got up to give a toast to Kimmel, Fallon stood up and made remarks about it. Howard said it was a great night. Howard said he remembers Fallon saying he could only stay a few minutes. He said they had a lot of things going on. Robin said that they had family over or something. Howard said he kept asking him to stay. He said he ended up staying the whole night. Robin said he was singing with Billy Joel. She said he was doing Mick Jagger impressions and it went on for a long time after dinner. Howard said he was the last one to leave.
Howard said he remembers getting up to make a toast and he said he wanted to congratulate Fallon and Nancy on their engagement. He said that was his big joke. He said he was having so much fun being the life of the party.
Howard said he never gets credit for this type of stuff. He said that's the reason that the whole bromance is going on. He said he would like to put it out there that he did it. He said it turns out he has one show business story in him where he facilitated a friendship. He said he thinks it's important that people know that.
Howard said he was watching Biden's speech with Obama there with him. He said he was talking about the Affordable Care act and it's very helpful for people like this guy Jerry. He said he can't understand why some politicians are so against it. He said it doesn't make sense.
Jerry said that the cotter pin in this whole thing is insurance. He said it's very helpful to anyone who has something like this going on. Jerry said he isn't sure how they got to the point where everything is politicized. He said you can't have a different opinion about anything without turning it political.
Howard said he can't imagine what Jerry would go through if he lost his insurance and his wife has this preexisting condition. He said it would be horrible. Howard said he's dealing with a lot with his parents and he has insurance that's helping. He said it's really a lot of money. Jerry said he doesn't understand why it's such a hot topic with people. Howard said it's because it came from Obama. He said there's anger with this guy and he's not sure why. He said it baffles him. He said he doesn't want to get too into this political stuff. He said he's going to end it there. Robin said she was just reading the other day about these furries and the extremists are thinking that's a real thing and it was all a hoax but this politician thought it was a real thing. She said they thought that they were going to get into the schools and have kids using litter boxes and things.
Howard said you never know when life is going to change. He said that his parents have had such a rapid decline. He said when that happens you see what it's like. He said that his mother had 17 different things going on at once. He said it's wild. He said just administering the medications is a whole thing. He said it's unbelievable. He said his daughter is helping him out with it and she knows how to help. He said not everyone has someone like that to lean on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the show was really good yesterday. He said he's had a lot of good ones in the past but that was really good. He said that the Red Hot Chili Peppers were really good. He said he just forgot about everything else going on. He said he wants to thank him for that. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard read some fan feedback about the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He said he has to agree with them about them being very open and very generous with their time. Howard played some of their performance of ''Give it Away'' and talked about how great that was. Howard said one fan wrote in about how great that song was and said it was the best rendition they've ever heard.
Howard read some fan feedback about his discussion of the Grammys. He went through that and said a lot of people wrote in about the Derek and Julianne Hough discussion he had. He said that a lot of people wrote in about that. He said it was very odd to him that a brother and sister were dancing together. He said he likes to see her dance with not a lot of clothing on. Howard read some feedback about that.
Howard said when he sees them dancing he thinks they're talented. He said someone wrote in about how odd it is that the brother and sister are doing that. He said that he has some dialog from the show where Derek and Julianne are talking about what they're going to be doing that they have to get ready in 11 days. He said he's not sure why they have to get it done in 11 days and why not rehearse for a year instead. He said it's not clear why there was such a rush. He played a clip of them talking about that. It sounded scripted. Robin said it sounds like Marilyn Monroe and Mickey Rooney. Howard said that's what he told the guys this morning. He said he's shocked this kind of stuff still exists.
Howard said those two should get a room. He said he watched the whole thing but fast forwarded through most of it unless she was wearing a revealing outfit.
Howard played another clip of Derek and Julianne talking about John Travolta and his pelvic thrusts. Julianne said that their dad used to get mad at Derek when he would do his pelvic thrusts. Howard asked if they grew up in Footloose.
Howard said he only wishes that hip thrust thing was a rule in his house. He did his impression of his dad yelling at him about that. He said the weird thing about his parents is that they were into dancing. He said they went out and bought square dancing outfits. He said it was bone chillingly douchey. He said it was weird that his mother got into it. He said they got into it while he was off at college. He said his father even had one of those bolo ties. He said that they had their square dancing friends. Robin said they got angry at people who didn't know their steps. Howard said that was his dad. He said his mother confided in him about that. He said that she had to know her steps or he'd get angry. Howard said his parents used to take him out to dinner at this place that had dancing. He said his father would get angry if he didn't order correctly. He said they would get up and dance in this dumpy restaurant. He said it wasn't square dancing. It was regular dancing. He said that he and his sister would die of embarrassment. He said he wishes he had an iPad to keep him busy. He said he had to watch them and his face would turn beet red. He said then they would sit down and it was just weird. He said it was like a car wreck.
Howard said his father would yell at them about how to order. He said he had his way of ordering and that was it. He said his mother would say she needed more time and his father would freak out. He said his father had to do it fast. He said he's still like that. He said he still gets upset if his order is fucked up.
Howard said his father would yell at his mother if she ordered her meal before ordering a salad. He said he would just order the same thing that his father did so he didn't have to look at the menu. He said his father would ask him what he was going to eat. He said he never even said his name. He said he would just ask him what he as going to eat.
Howard said he would get upset in the car on the way there. He said he has this thing with authority so he can be perfect when he orders. He said it's like he's being graded in school. He said he thinks he grew up so poor that he had to show that he knew what he was doing. He said he'd get mad if you talked to the waiter. He said they went out with another couple once and the other guy talked to the waiter and his dad got upset about that. He said his mother had to go along with that.
Howard said it's like his dad wanted to be the best guy ordering. He said he was trying to impress the waiter. Robin said it sounds like he was never comfortable. Howard said not at all. He said he was forced to bring him to work and he would hide him away so no one would see him. He said he told him not to talk to anyone.
Howard said his father would turn red and get upset if his mother needed more time. He said his mother would say okay and place her order the wrong way. He said she'd ask for two appetizers and his father would get upset. He said he'd look at the waiter in a panic like he wanted to throw his mother out the window.
Howard said his father was just so fucking angry. He said sometimes his mother would order the entree before the appetizer. He said his father would correct her and have the order done in the right way. He said then he'd grab her hand and get up and dance. He said this place was in Hempstead. He said that they had a drum and two pieces in the band there. He said the drummer looked half dead. He said it was a fucking nightmare. He said these two were tripping the light fantastic.
Howard said he had no idea what fucking planet he was on. He said his father was telling him he was a fucking moron a minute before he was up dancing. He said he would just order whatever he ordered. He said he'd never eat duck but if his father ordered it he would order it.
Howard said when he came home from college and they were square dancing he didn't know what was going on. He said his mother would come down wearing her outfit and his father was in his outfit with the overalls and all of that. He said he didn't know what was happening. He said it was like Halloween every time. He said then they'd come home and it looked like his mother was beaten up. He said his father was yelling all the time. He said he was so belittling and demeaning. He said that he would talk down to everyone. He said his mother looked like Annie Oakley getting belittled by Roy Rogers. He said he wanted to tell them to go knock on some doors and ask for candy. He said this was in the 1970s. Robin said that's amazing. Howard said it was all weird. He said now they're all old and a mess. He said it breaks his heart when he sees his mom like this. He said this is old age.
Howard said his mother isn't eating but his daughter helps with that. He said she had some ice cream the other day. He said Ashley told her that if she makes it to 94 she's going to eat like a pig. He said that got her to eat.
Howard said his dad always had anxiety and he had some inferiority complex or something. Robin said that lasted all day until he got home to his Rob Roy.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he ever had a moment when he was raising his daughters when he realized he sounds just like his dad. Howard said they should teach parenting in school. He said he thought his parents were great. He said he didn't know any different. He said when he was raising his kids he thought that's how he had to raise his kids. He said somewhere along the line he went to therapy and realized he didn't want to be like his parents in some ways. He said in some ways he admired things about them. He said in other ways he didn't. He said he didn't want to interact with kids the way they did. He said that's why he's a big advocate for therapy. He said it really helped him with parenting. He said he didn't have a clue. He said he prides himself on having a good relationship with his kids. He said it's only gotten better with therapy. He said it's a good thing to do.
Howard said JD is like his dad. He said he just recently started asking for substitutes in his meals. He said JD told him that anxiety kept him from doing it before. Robin asked what it was that he would want to substitute. JD said they were out at a restaurant and he wanted to order duck but he didn't like the side. He said he looked at the other stuff and filet mignon had a side he liked so he was staring at the menu over and over and everyone else was having a conversation and all he could think about was the meal. He said something to someone and they spoke up for him. He said they asked if they can replace the side for him and he said yes. Howard asked how old he was. JD said it happened just last year. He said he's worried about people spitting in his food or something. He said he doesn't want to offend anyone.
Howard said his mother would tell a story about how she took his father out to a restaurant for the first time. He had never been out like that before and she took him to a Chinese restaurant. Howard said his mother would laugh when she told that story. He said she loved telling stories like that. He said she would tell a story like that and laugh. He did his impression of her telling stories about him. He said there was one story about the doctor saying he smiled like a mongoloid when he was born. He said she'd goof on him about wanting to play guitar or piano.
Howard said he was kind of proud of himself for playing guitar. He said every time he would play a song his mother would have to tell him a story. He said she'd come up to his room and ask if he remembers the story about how she helped him get into guitar lessons. He said she sucked the energy out of him. Robin said imagine if he became Eddie Van Halen she'd still be talking about that.
Howard said whatever he did there was a story about what she did to help. He said she introduced him to Transcendental Meditation and she bragged about how she got him into that too.
Howard took a call from the chef who was there the night JD changed his side dish. The caller had JD cracking up when he told Howard about changing the meal for the nerd and he loved his laugh. He was doing an impression of JD's laugh and saying he pissed in his potatoes.
Robin asked if JD can ask for a substitution now. JD said he went out this weekend and ordered a pasta that he wanted instead of spaghetti. Howard said he wants to give JD a hug. He said the way he told that story he has no clue what he was talking about. He asked him to say what he was saying. JD said he just got different pasta with the chicken parm. He said that it was pasta that's got stuff inside it. Tortellini. Howard said he has to give him a hug. He said he loves this guy so much. He said he's not sure how he got through life. He said thank god he gave him a job. JD said thanks for that. Howard told JD how to shorten that story. He had it down to a sentence or two.
Howard said maybe JD should cut out the pasta. He asked how his weight is. JD said he's stabilizing. He said he was 212 the other day. Howard said that's not good at 5'8'' or 5'9''. He said he has to get in shape. He asked if he saw Anthony Kiedis singing yesterday. He said that guy is in shape. Robin said they were bouncing around like 25 year olds.
Howard answered a knock at the door which was fake Seth Rogen who said he's not sure what this guy is talking about. He said he hasn't even smoked yet today. Howard said sometimes he just tells JD he knows what he's talking about even when he doesn't. He said the only thing he understood was JD talking about how Flea was touching his toes and JD hasn't seen his toes in years.
Howard asked Seth how things are going. Seth said that things are going well. He said he's still doing the pottery thing. He said it's fucking chill.
Howard said he has a story about JD. He said the other day he stepped on his TV in his office and he broke it. JD said he was trying to set up a stand for it and he didn't think he stepped on it much but it did crack the whole damn thing. Howard said he really has a way with a story. Seth said he has to get high right now to clear his head. He asked JD to tell his story again after smoking. JD said he lost his footing and he stepped on the back of it and he had to get a new TV after that. Seth said this guy is fucking crazy. He tried smoking again and asked JD if he's still talking about putting up his TV. Howard said he won't let him.
Howard said the point was that JD has gotten very heavy. He said he has an Italian version of 2001 A Spade Odyssey behind him. JD said he was just looking for posters and he found this one. Howard said that's the only thing he sees in his room. Seth asked if he even speaks Italian. Robin said he doesn't even speak English.
Howard asked Seth what he's up to. Seth said he's got a podcast like everyone else does. He said you can ask him anything and he'll give a tutorial about it. Howard said he just wants to hear him take another hit. Seth did that for him. Howard said he's going to have JD explain the plot of 2001 A Spade Odyssey to Seth. JD said he likes Stanley Kubrick and the movie is great looking. He said he's not sure what to say. He said it starts off with the dawn of man. Howard said fuck it and had him stop.
Howard let Seth go and said what an honor that was for JD to have him stop by. Robin said that JD has a picture in his room of something she can't make out. JD said that's of Pete Rose and some hit he had. He had a picture from Dumb and Dumber too. Howard said you'd think you'd want a Jim Carrey scene. JD said that shitting on the toilet is such an iconic part of the movie it's funny. He said it doesn't have to be Jim. Howard said the whole motif of his room reminds him of when he was like 12.
Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and talked about the Jimi Hendrix song they were playing as they came back. Howard said that's from 1968. He said he'd perform that song and light his guitar on fire. He said the guitar he set on fire would later sell for over $380,000 at auction. Robin said it couldn't have been the same one every night. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard took a call from a woman who said one of her favorite movies is Private Parts. She said she watches it a lot. She said she just realized that he's a real person and so is Robin. She said she didn't know it was about a real person. She said she found Howard and Robin on her satellite yesterday and she can't believe she missed out on listening to them for the past 20 years. Howard said he's real and Robin is but Fred isn't. He said there's no reality there.
Howard said he's been reflecting on that movie lately. He said Ivan Reitman produced it and he was an inspiration to him. He said he always through that it was a good movie to be an ambassador for him in markets he wasn't in. The caller said she wouldn't have been able to listen in the late 90s because she lived in Alabama and here were no stations carrying him. Howard said it always upset him that he wasn't on in more places. He said that movie was big and they did better in the markets he was on in than Star Wars. He said that people had no idea who the fuck he was in markets he wasn't on in. He said he would think that on America's Got Talent she'd realize he was real. The caller, Sylvia, said that isn't a show she watches. Howard said he was on Letterman too. He said he has what he'd call spotty fame. He said he can't walk around anywhere in Manhattan without people knowing who he is. He said in Alabama he might be able to walk around. Sylvia said that he'd be anonymous down there. Howard said he doesn't want to be anonymous. He welcomed her aboard. He said they're glad she found them. Sylvia said she can't believe that he didn't win any Oscars. Howard said she should have. He said he's not joking about that. He said it should have been nominated at least. He said it was that good. Sylvia said she still watches it a few times a year.
Howard said he got a residual check for like $3.17 the other day. He said he cashed it. He said what the fuck, why not. He said the film is 25 years old and it sill holds up. He said the only place he got an award was a Blockbuster award. He said they went out of business not long after.
Howard said one thing he learned moving around the country is that most people are the same all over. He said he made friends wherever he moved and he liked it wherever he was. He said he liked it in Detroit. He said his mother was a Big Apple snob. He said they went to theater and things like that. He said for him he doesn't leave the house so it's all the same wherever he goes. He said in Detroit the only place he went was from his apartment to work. He said there would be 15 feet of snow out there and he'd just clean it off and go to work. He said every town looked like his living room. He said he won't even leave his back yard. He said he's been painting a lot of his back yard lately. He said he doesn't really go anywhere so it's all the same to him.
The caller said that JD may be due for a health check. Howard said he loves when Chris does his Dr. Now impression. He said they do it during their meetings on Wednesdays. He said Chris should talk like that all the time. He said he should just become Dr. Now. He said it's so funny so why not. Chris got on and did his Dr. Now voice. He said he will just become Dr. Now. Howard said even when he's picking up dude on the app he should do it. Chris did that and asked guys if they have big cocks and big loads. He had Howard cracking up.
Howard asked Dr. Now about loads and how many calories they are. He had Chris talking about all of this as Dr. Now. Chris was saying you can use cum as a salad dressing to lose weight.
Howard asked if he gets frustrated with his clients about their weight. Chris had Dr. Now talking about all of that and had Howard and Robin laughing.
Howard said Dr. Now was upset that they had subtitles under him on the show. Dr. Now said that's because people are ignorant. He said he's speaking English. He said they're racist. Howard said go talk to JD and see if he can help him lose weight. Dr. Now told JD to eat more cum and he'll lose the weight. Howard let Chris go and said that was a lot of fun.
Howard said he's so fucking stressed out. He said Jason Reitman invited him to videotape a message for this service they're doing for his dad. He said he has to do something. He said he would usually turn it down. He said he's so stressed out about it. He said he's sure there are going to be a lot of people there who worked with Ivan. He said he can't read the room there so he doesn't know what the tone is going to be. He said that he did that Joan Rivers eulogy and he was able to read the room. He said he was able to change things up. He said he could end up being the douche who is either funny or serious while everyone else is the opposite. He said he couldn't say no. He said he'd be a dick if he did.
Howard said the real thought is that he is so honored that this dude helped him out with his movie. He said he's honored that this guy embraced him and was really a fan. He said one of the things that Jason told him was that he found old cassette tapes of the show in his dad's stuff. He said he had tapes of the show. He said the fact that he treated him like someone important and that he was listening to the show and reading his book really means a lot to him.
Howard said here was a lot of business there that Ivan laid out to him. He said he was beside himself when he took that on. He said when it all happened he was so blown away by it. He said that they only had so much time on the planet and Ivan could be doing anything else and he wanted to devote his time to this movie. He said he didn't realize how big a deal that was. He said it made him feel like he was in show business. He said he felt like an outsider until then. He said it was all his own doing but Ivan was calling him and telling him to read this script and all of that. He said he had him talking to Lenny Blum about it and it was unbelievable.
Howard said even after the film he would call Ivan like a father figure in a way. He said he could talk to him about his personal life and the movie business. He said he offered a lot of advice on things. He said he even spoke to him about his marriage when it was falling apart. He said he was a lovely man. He said he overcame so much. He said his early childhood was fucked up. He said he knew Ivan liked him because he rarely yelled at him. He said he knows that he could be very vocal with actors. He said he just told him he had to memorize his lines. He said that was the most he yelled at him about.
Robin said she didn't know he could be a bear but she was talking to someone and she said he was a very nice man and this other person said ''He was?'' like he was shocked. Howard said he learned a lot about the movie business from Ivan. He knew just what to do. He said he was very kind. He said he'd fly to Los Angeles a couple times a month when they were editing and he was so good at his job.
Robin told Howard to just do this in his video. She said just tell people who Ivan was to him.
Howard took a call from Ralph and told him to has to pick an outfit for him to wear in this video. He said it has to be appropriate. Howard said he has to give a free plug for OTD. He said he's wearing another one of their jackets. That's John Varvatos' new company. Howard said he's going to stand up and show off the jacket. He said maybe he'll wear that. Ralph told him not to stress about this. He said he's got it. Howard said he is stressed. He said he wrote down some stuff about him in his journal and posted some stuff in a collage. Robin said this is like a production now.
Howard said Ivan is the guy who did Stripes, Meatballs, Ghostbusters, Twins, Dave and more. He said that guy loved him. He said he gave his time and energy and sprit to him. He said he can't believe that he got to be friends with him. Ralph said just say that. Robin said he stepped out of show business and took Howard into it with him. Howard said Robin should make his speech for him. He said he'll sit on her lap and she'll work him like a puppet.
Howard said he doesn't like making speeches. Ralph said he's so good at it though. Howard said he may do an acoustic version of ''My Hero'' and dedicate it to Ivan. Ralph laughed and said ''Oh god...'' Howard sang some of the song.
Ralph said just talk about what Ivan did for him when he saw what the whole movie was going to be about. Howard said maybe he'll hold up his residual checks. He said he can thank him for them.
Howard said he knows that Bill Murray will probably make a speech and kill. He said he knows that he has to do this. He said it's hanging around his neck like an albatross though.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Arnold Schwarzenegger who told him he has to go to Hollywood and go to the funeral. Howard said he's not leaving his house. Howard spent time talking about what Ivan did for Arnold by putting him in Twins. Arnold said this guy made him funny and that's almost impossible. He said he may have to bring his pony and donkey as his emotional support animals if Howard isn't there. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said he still likes the idea of sitting on Robin's lap and having her work him like a dummy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said if he just speaks from the heart about Ivan he'll be just fine. He said that he also wants to talk about the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He said they were great on the show yesterday. He said that he has hardly ever heard John Frusciante speak. He said he got him to talk about things that they never thought he'd talk about. Howard said that John has left the band twice and he's back. Howard said people weren't sure if he'd talk but he just went with it and the guy came around and talked. He said that version of the Peppers is the ultimate version. He said he had never spoken to John before but he was a chatterbox yesterday. He said he didn't know what anyone was talking about with him. The caller said that's the magic that Howard has. He said he can get people to talk. Howard said what a power he has.
Howard said there's a few things going on that he has to talk about. He said he was thinking about Ivan Reitman and how he was never really sure who he was. He said he remembers seeing Ghostbusters and it was Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd. He said one of the actors was Harold Ramis. He said he saw the movie and Harold was one of the Ghostbusters. He said he thought that was Ivan Reitman. He said he met Ivan and he remembers thinking that's not Ivan Reitman. He said he wasn't the guy from Ghostbusters. He said he was confused. He said he had no clue. He said then he figured it all out.
Howard said he should have Beth in there to talk about how he pounded her. He said maybe he shouldn't get started with that.
Howard said he had no idea that Ronnie is a super star. He said he attended a NHRA drag race and got interviewed on FOX Sports 1. He said he's a big star. He said one of his race car buddies invited him and he was showing off on FOX. He said he was in a suite there and drinking vodka. He said Ronnie has to learn to say Vodka. He said he says ''Vodker and soder.'' Howard asked how he got there. Ronnie said that this guy is a fan of the show and he has been inviting him for years. He said he wasn't able to fit it in until now. He said he finally got the chance to go out in Vegas.
Howard said Ronnie should have talked about him out there. Ronnie said he told them he wasn't going to talk about Howard. Howard said Ronnie looked very old in the interview and he wondered what was going on. He said everyone pointed out that he was wearing a racing cap and shirt and he looks like 12 year old in those clothes. He said everyone said that's why he looked old. He said he was dressed like a kid. Ronnie said everything fit just fine. Howard said it's impossible to give him advice. He said he won't listen. Ronnie said he was fine. Howard said he looked like he was on the tea cup ride at Disney. Ronnie said he had a good time and that's all that matters.
Howard said here's the interview. Ronnie said the guy won so that was the best part. He said he did his press conference after too. He said he claimed he was his lucky charm so he invited him out there.
Howard said he wants to point out Ronnie had a hard time getting the word Vodker out. He said his voice gets all shaky too. Ronnie said he was right there on the track and your whole body shakes from it. He said he was on the starting line. Howard said the guys on FOX were showing the race and there's so many fumes coming out. Ronnie said it's nitro. Howard said it must be like smoking 50 packs of cigarettes. Ronnie said it makes your eyes tear up really bad. He said he'd turn away from it. He said he would try to hold his breath. He said that made him shaky too. Howard asked what kind of racing this was. Ronnie said it's NHRA drag racing. He said it's 1/4 mile racing and he used to do it when he was a kid.
Howard played the clip of Ronnie talking to the FOX Sports interviewer Jamie Howe. She asked Ronnie about how he was feeling. Ronnie said he was shaking inside. He said it was his first time out there on the line like that. He said it was much more fun being down in the action. The hosts said it was cool to have him out there.
Howard said there's a lot to talk about there. Howard said they must have asked him to talk to them ahead of time. He said he jammed in a lot of stuff there. He said he mentioned the suite and going down on the line and drinking Vodker and soder. Fred did his Ronnie Puppet impression talking about that.
Ronnie said the guy did two qualifying runs. He said he watched from the suite on the first one. He said then he went down for the second one to the track. He said he was doing the Vodker and soda thing as a joke. He said he was just saying he was enjoying the day. He said the guy was very nice to have him up to his suite. He said it was Phil from Palmer Electric. He said he was just pointing out how he was more comfortable up there.
Howard said Ronnie has tremendous knowledge of racing. He said he could have had a big moment there telling them what he watches usually. Ronnie said they re-shot it afterward. He said he mentioned NASCAR the first time. He said they scrubbed the whole thing and started over again. Howard said maybe that's a competitor. Ronnie said they're all on FOX so he's not sure why they did that. He said he just answered the questions they asked. Howard said then they ask him a question and he mentions Vodker and soder. Ronnie said it was cool to see it from the suite and from the track.
Howard said he'd love to get the first interview. He said he wants to hear that. He said it was too controversial. He said he's just joking about that. He said stay with him Ronnie. Fred did more of his Ronnie puppet impression talking about the NHRA race.
Howard said his guess is that the first interview must have been a fucking mess. He said they must have told the woman to go do it again. He said they had to do another interview with Ronnie. Ronnie said it was a woman who interviewed him. He said it was Jamie Howe. Howard said he didn't know who did the interview. Ronnie said he was in the truck with the commentating crew too. He said he was in the broadcast truck. Howard said thanks to him for all of that. He said great job. Ronnie said congratulations to Ron Capps.
Howard said on the phone he has Honest Ronnie who answers honestly every time. He said he doesn't give them a different story. Howard said this guy answers honestly. Real Ronnie got back on and tried to interrupt but Howard asked him to just hold off until he gets through this bit.
Howard asked Honest Ronnie about the Vegas heat and they had Ronnie talking about how it's way too hot out there. Howard asked him if he ever uses his name to get free stuff. Honest Ronnie said of course he does. He said they all do. He said just ask Truthful Gary. He also admitted that he's 10 percent gay so that's why he likes getting pegged by Stephanie. He said 10 percent actually means 50 percent.
Howard asked Honest Ronnie about the Mike Pearlman thing and he said that he knows he didn't actually do anything and he just misplaced the thing himself. He said he has to go and laughed himself off.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he's looking at Ronnie in the picture and that t-shirt doesn't fit him. He said he doesn't have a belly but it makes it look like he does. He said that he has to dress up a bit to look good. He said he can't dress down like that. He said he was trying to figure out why he looked strange. He said he looked like a very old kid.
Howard asked where Ronnie is. He said he had a question for him. Ronnie got back on and said he didn't know he was going to be on TV that day. Ralph said he was showing pictures of himself on Instagram though. Howard said Ronnie has very skinny legs so when he wears shorts it looks odd. He said he wasn't wearing them there though.
Howard asked what he wanted to ask. Ronnie said he doesn't understand why he keeps on the same topic of him being unhappy out there. Howard said he's doing a bit.
Howard took a call from Apples who said he didn't see Ronnie wearing any hearing protection out there. Ronnie said he had ear plugs. Apples said you have to wear over the ears stuff. He said he's been to some races so he knows it's loud.
Howard said Ronnie actually lost some of his hearing a while back. Ronnie said that was about 10 years ago. Apples said that you have to be careful. He said he was in the aviation industry too. Ronnie said this guy had a lot of jobs.
Howard let Apples go a short time later. Howard took a call from a guy who said he works at FOX Sports and he knows why the first interview was dropped. His name is Brian. Ronnie said he's the announcer there. Brian said he's the guy who threw it to Jamie on the starting line. He said the reason the interview got thrown out is because of the way Jamie framed the question. He said that Ronnie was asked about driving Howard around and he said that he isn't there to talk about it. He said they had to reframe the question. Howard said he knew it. Brian said that it was the guys in the truck who said they didn't get why he was from the Howard Stern Show but he didn't want to talk about Howard Stern.
Howard asked how may times they have had to trash an interview like that. Brian said that's a rare occurrence. Howard said he knew it. He said the guys in the truck must have been going nuts. He asked how sad it is to have the biggest star as Ronnie the Limo Driver. Brian said that it was actually really great to have him there. He said it was fun.
Howard asked Brian how old he is. Brian said he's in his early 40s. He said he grew up listening to Howard and he has been a big influence on him. He said he was in his late teens and he modeled what he did after Howard. He said he's been a big influence on him. Howard said he has a good voice and a delivery. He said he has expertise in racing so that's great that he can get a job like that. He said you have to know your stuff. Brian said he's loved it his whole life so he knows his stuff. Brian said he loved hearing Al Michaels on with Howard a few weeks ago. He said he's an inspiration as well. He said it was cool being on today. Howard asked if he can talk about other things too. Brian said he has covered other sports as well. He said racing is where his heart is at. He said he grew up watching racing with his dad. Howard thanked Brian for calling in with all of that. He said he knew it had something to do with the show. Ronnie said it's because he wouldn't talk about him. He said next time he'll tell his whole life story.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said Ronnie dressed up like he's in the race. Ronnie said he was supporting the guy who was there. He said he gave him the swag. He said that's why he was wearing it. King said he was like he was part of the pit crew. Ronnie said he was because the invited him down there. He said he's making shit up for no reason. He said he's a jealous bastard.
King said it looks like Ronnie is always grumpy and his girlfriend is so upbeat and happy. Howard said Ronnie has always been that way. He said that he hired Ronnie to be his driver and he would get grumpy about driving. King said when some women pick at you like that they're trying to change you. He said if he's grumpy then let him be grumpy. Howard said enough of that. He said congratulations to Ronnie on the whole thing. Ronnie thanked Amy Schumer for not coming in so he could take this in her spot instead.
Howard said that if you take all of that shit why not just get the vaccine. Robin said if it doesn't exist then why take anything?
Howard said up next is a former state trooper. Chris said this is a guy who resigned on camera because of the COVID vaccine mandates they had there. He ended up dying after going on FOX News and bragging that his whole family won't get vaccinated or even take flu shots. Howard had some clips of him on FOX News talking about that. Howard said this guy went on to get COVID and died a few months later. He said he was only 51 years old. He said the reporting of him dying wasn't big news. He said the big news is when they resist taking it. Chris said FOX News never reported on him dying from it.
Howard said he has a clip of a Canadian who was an anti-vaxxer. Chris said he was also a flat earther. He said he had a history of stupid. Howard asked what this clip is. Chris said he was involved with COVID since it started. He said he had a Yoga studio where he did a class where they'd get rid of COVID there. He said he refused to shut it down. He said he got a court case over it. He said this is him outside the court saying that COVID isn't real. Howard played that clip and the guy was saying there is nothing going on. Howard had some audio f the guy in his last live stream talking about how he doesn't have ''Convid'' but he's sick. He said that he hasn't been sick in so long and it just hit him. He said he didn't know what was going on here. Howard played another clip where this guy went out and got into an argument at a store with a guy over him having COVID. Howard said police found the guy dead in his home 2 weeks later. He said that his death wasn't officially from Convid but he's going out on a limb and saying it did have something to do with it.
Howard said that's the latest depressing update on COVID and people denying it. He said he hopes you enjoy the rest of your day. He said Molly Shannon will be on the show next week. He said her story is amazing. He said he's looking forward to that. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:15am.