For the week of 02/14/2022 to 02/18/2022

• Super Bowl Discussions. 02/14/22. 7:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: An announcement about remembering when Howard Stern got engaged after saying he would never marry again.

  Howard started the show talking about problems he was having with his headphones. He wasn't getting volume in the headphones. He said his ears should be getting blasted. He said he'll just yell instead of getting hung up. Robin said they had a great opening for the show about getting engaged to Beth. Howard asked why she didn't answer his text about the Super Bowl yesterday. Robin said she was watching the game and not paying attention to the phone.

  Howard said how about that Cooper Kupp. He said he has that super masculine beard. He said if he was a player he'd pull guys down who have long hair. Robin said that one guy yanked that one guy by the face mask and got a touchdown. Howard said he felt like the Bengals had some bad calls against them. Robin said the Rams got chance after chance to score because of that.

  Howard said it was a fun game to watch. He said he was rooting for the Bengals because of JD. He said before they get into all of that he has more to talk about. He said Jonathan Blitt has a report from the game. He said he sent JD down to the Super Bowl. Robin said it's over there, not down there. Howard said he's not that into the game he watched the whole thing. He said he taped it until 9 and then got up about 4:30 and watched the rest of it. He said he put it on and the regular TV was on and they spoiled it for him. He asked what the odds are that they tell him as soon as he turns it on. He said it was a good game. He said he watched the rest of it. He said the Bengals may never get back there. He said they're thinking of adding an extra game a season. He said these guys don't get bashed around enough.

  Howard said Al Michaels is gone from NBC. He said there are a lot of places he can go. He said he may go to Amazon. He said he thinks he signed with them for like 17 million. He did his Al Michaels impression as he was talking about that.

  Howard said what he was laughing at during the game was The Rock. He said he knows they knew him years ago but he hasn't been on in years. He said once he got some success he stopped coming in. He said he's so uber masculine that it's feminine. He said you know you don't get that way from natural working out and eating the right things. He said his arm is the size of his head. He said it's bigger than his head. He said it's comical. He said his veins look like they're trying to escape his body. He said he knows it's lot of hard work to do that but he's an odd looking human being. He said he knows he is too so he gets that. He said that acting kind of speech was just odd. He asked if Robin gets turned on by that kind of guy. Robin said no but then she retracted that and said that she remembers when she met Arnold Schwarzenegger the first time and she was attracted to him. She said normally she's not attracted to that. Robin said she knows women who are attracted to men like that. Howard said his sister was attracted to someone like that in high school. He said that guy spent a lot of time at the gym. He said he decided he didn't look good enough and had to look really good so its very feminine. He said there must be some enhancement involved. He said he hates to say that but he thinks there must be. He said it's just so odd to him.

  Howard said that speech The Rock was making was something he didn't get. He said it was like a motivational football speech. He said it's like shut up dude. He said he was just a wrestler. He said that guy is big. He said he it can't be healthy to be that big. He said the guy is 49. He said he's younger than he thought.

  Howard said the NY Post says that Al Michaels deal at Amazon could reach 11 million a year. He said he wondered why they had to let him go from NBC. He said they must want to start with a young guy. He said Al sounded good during the game. He said when they were introducing the celebrities during the game it sounded like they might go to JD. He said they didn't get to him. He made up what that might have sounded like.

  Howard said before he gets to the JD stuff he has some other things to talk about. He said JD is still out in L.A. now. He said he has a thing set up so they can talk to him.

• RIP Ivan Reitman. 02/14/22. 7:15am
  Howard said what's upsetting to him this morning is that Ivan Reitman has passed away. He said he died in his sleep last night. He said that he was shocked to read that this morning. He said he was giving Beth her Valentine's Day card that he painted for her and he found out about Ivan. He said he was a very important man in his life.

  Howard said about a month ago he was thinking about how he hadn't talked to Ivan Reitman in a long time and it felt weird to him. He said Ivan used to listen to the show every day. He said that he was always impressed with that. He said he made Ghostbusters and Animal House. He said he made Meatballs, Stripes, Dave and you name it. He said he's leaving out half his films. He said he made all of these films and he was a fan of his. He said that tickled him. He said he was such an admirer of his. Howard said Ivan produced so many big movies. He said it was a tremendous career.

  Howard said about a month ago he was sitting at his desk and thinking about Ivan. He said he hadn't touched base in so long. He said they'd get together at times over the years. He said they had a friendship but then they lost touch. He said he's not good at keeping in touch. He said that he called Ivan and they had a great talk. He said Ivan was very happy to hear from him. He said they had together when they get the chance. He said Ivan hasn't been going anywhere with the Pandemic going on. He said that his son was going to be doing Ghostbusters and he was going to Comic-Con. He said that Ivan wanted to get together around that time. He said he was going to make a plan to do that. He said that Ivan wasn't happy about going to Comic-Con but he was doing it for his son. He said he had to go. He said he told him to be careful. He said that they say that he died in his sleep. He said that's the best way to go. He said he was 75 years old.

  Howard said he felt so good touching base with Ivan. He said this guy saved his life. He said he felt so much pressure to get that Private Parts movie done. He said he wrote and wrote with people and the had 21 different opportunities to get it done. He said he worked on that thing so much and he had one script that was such a piece of shit and he was the one who wrote it with another guy. He said it was like pulling teeth. He said that he and this other guy would write and they went back and froth on it.

  Howard said he was racking his brain trying to come up with something. He said the movie company was upset about them not having something ready. He said they told him he had to make this movie. He said it was Reisher Entertainment telling him he had to get it done. He said that his agent got him script approval. He said they were threatening to get Jeff Goldblum to play him. He said imagine that. He can picture what that would have been.

  Howard said he has told the story before and he has to say this. He said his agent was in L.A. and he went to pick up a deli sandwich. He said Don saw Ivan on the street. He said Don went up to Ivan and asked what he thought about all of this. He said the next thing he knows Ivan is on the phone to him. He said he had read the book and he had and idea for him. He said he wished he was involved. He said they got on the phone with Reisher and made him the Executive Producer. He said they wet his beak and they got him on board. He said to get a guy on board like that is a miracle. He said he had the greatest film maker involved. He said Ivan asked if he was ready to work. He said he got Lenny Blum to work on the script. He said they went into a deep dive together and then Lenny went to writ the script. He said Ivan worked with him on that. He said sure enough they went off and did their thing. He said he got a script back that was good. He said they went ahead and green lit that sucker. He said he couldn't wait to film it. He said Ivan got Betty Thomas to direct. He said she had done the late night movie so he had her meet with him. He said when Ivan is involved he has to go with it. He said Betty saw that he wasn't a complete dick head.

  Howard said they had a whole team work on this film. He said Ivan watched every fucking daily. He said he was playing himself and Ivan wasn't happy with him at first. He said he gave him some advice and he listened to him. He said he smacked him around had he did some acting. He said he got robbed by the Academy. He said Ivan saw the movie and put his name on it. He said he wasn't going to until he saw the movie.

  Robin said she saw Ivan watching pieces of the film with some other people and after they finished he put the movie together in seconds. He was amazing like that. Howard said he was amazing. He said he was on the show a few times. He said he'd talk to him about the movies he did. He said he worked with a lot of people. He said he was a classy guy. He said he started a puppet theater when he lived in Toronto. He said they had that in common.

  Howard said he woke up this morning and that's what he heard from Beth. Robin said that's what she heard on TV this morning first thing. Howard said he has a million stories about Ivan. He said they hadn't been in touch for years until just recently. He said thank god he called Ivan. He said he would have had the thought that he was too lazy to do that. He said he just called and he picked up right away. He said Ivan said he should have been calling him. He said he didn't think there was a difference. He said Ivan said he still listens every day.

  Howard said he did so many things. He said that he directed Bill Murray in a few films. He said that he is bummed out today. He said that it is good he went in his sleep though.

  Howard said that everything the guy had is now just gone. He said that all of that artistry is just gone. He said it's so weird about life. He said he knows that if the world was set up that half of one percent gets to live forever then you'd have hope. He said no one lives forever. He said it would all make sense if that was life. He said no one gets out alive. He said maybe people do but no one knows it. He said it's very unfair. He said Elon Musk is working on it but they're not there yet. He said they want to stick your brain in a metal body or something. He said he likes eating though so he wouldn't want that.

  Howard said he knows you can have your body frozen but he's not doing that either. He said he doesn't want his head frozen and kept on a tuna can. He said they read that Ted Williams did that. He said they went in and found his head resting on a tuna can or something. He said that's ridiculous. Robin said the only thing about that is cloning but then you don't have the same person. Howard said maybe if they took the clone's brain out and put his in there. Robin said she's not sure that you could do that. She said everything wears out on the body. She said you don't want that brain.

  Howard said rest in peace Ivan. He said he was just 75. He said he knows that sounds old but he's not that far from it so it's not that old to him.

• Bob Saget Death Update. 02/14/22. 7:35am
  Howard said he also heard that Bob Saget died from a blow to the back of his head. He said that he didn't just lay down and die. He said it was a blow to his head that was like getting hit with a baseball bat in the back of the head. He said he was thinking that someone murdered Bob Saget. He said he was making up theories about this. He said he was talking to Beth about it and said he'll write to Jimmy Kimmel. He said that he did that and Jimmy wrote him back. He said that he asked who murdered Bob and Jimmy wrote back. Howard said he has a lot of pictures with himself and Ivan Reitman. He said people always post pictures together with celebrities but he won't post them. He said Jimmy's text or email back to him was that it was probably that Bob fell over and hit his head and then went to bed. He said Jimmy explained that they're thinking that Bob fell in his room or the shower or something. He said that he wanted to write to Stamos but he may be too distraught to write to. He said he doesn't feel comfortable writing to him. He said when he read the story about the blow to the head he figured that someone hit him in the head with a baseball bat. Robin said that he probably fell and went to sleep and didn't think about it. Howard said the medical examiner said that he probably fell backwards and hit his head. He said he probably fell n the shower or tub or something.

  Howard said they always say that out should go to the emergency room if you hit your head. Robin said you do and you want to make sure you don't get symptoms. Robin said a woman ran the marathon and hit her head and she went to sleep and died. She said she thought she was fine. Howard said he always wore a helmet when he went for a run. He said he wears one in the shower too. He said he doesn't want to end up like Bob Saget.

  Howard said he's bummed about Ivan. He said he's bad for his family too. He said his son is a big time director. He said he's Jason Reitman. Robin said she thinks he won an academy award. Howard said he was going to have Jason work on his TV show. He said Ivan told him he wanted to be a director and he was like ''Oy vey.'' He said that's not a good idea. He said he didn't think it would work out. He said it turns out he was wrong. He said he offered the kid a shot to direct an episode of ''Son of the Beach'' but he turned him down. He said he didn't want to direct that. He said he turned out to be a brilliant director. He said of course he turned him down. He said it turns out Jason would have been doing him a favor instead of the other way around.

  Howard said he just wanted to get that off his chest. He said that Ivan had two other kids too. Robin said they're daughters. Howard said his wife was lovely too. He said he liked her name Geneviève. He said he felt like he had to meet her.

• Howard's Family Misery. 02/14/22. 7:45am
  Howard said they have to get to the Super Bowl. He said that he's bummed out though. He said his mom is still ill. He said Ronnie called over the weekend but he can't return his call. He said he's so busy with doctors. He said his mom is miserable and in pain. He said he's on the phone with Dr. Agus and people like that. He said his mom is still miserable. Robin asked if she's still up and around. Howard said she is. He said she's using a walker. He said she has to do more walking and she just doesn't want to do it. Robin said if you start pushing yourself the pain goes down. Howard said his mom has a bad attitude toward pain. He said that he was thinking about Robin. He said she had cancer and chemo in her life and she just kept going. He said Robin has things going on in her life and he wonders how she does it. He said she just tells him that there's nothing she can do about it so she just goes on. Howard said she won't complain about it. He said that's what he wants in his life. He said put that in his mother.

  Howard said he's on this thing 24/7 with the doctors. He said they hear him calling and they know what's coming. He said he just wants his mother to be out of pain. He said that she's had such a miserable life. He said she just needs to have an easy time. He said she lost her mother at 9 and her father didn't tell her. He said his grandfather was some prince. He said that the guy he was named after left his family behind in Germany. He said he went and got a new family in America. He said he's not sure why his mother would name him after the big scum bag. He said his mother said he was nice to her. He said this guy ran off and got a new family in America. He said he left his family behind. He said the guy knew to get away from Hitler. He said he came here and found a new family. Robin asked what happened to those people. Howard asked what she thinks happened to them. He said he doesn't know them and you never hear about them. He said he never thought to ask why his mother used the name Howard. He said he knew not to ask. He said he would end up in shit. He said he asked about the name and then he found out who he was named after. He said that his mother knew the truth. He said she knew he left everyone behind. Then she named him after him. Howard said he doesn't understand it. He said she told him that he was very nice to her and pushed her on a swing. He said he doesn't think about that much. He said he tries to be a better man. Robin said he's like a German who grows up not knowing his family were Nazis.

  Howard said he's trying to come up with something for his mother. He said you don't want to hear about that. He said you want to know about JD and the Super Bowl.

• Apples Wants Peace With Ronnie. 02/14/22. 7:55am
  Howard said he was shocked that he enjoyed the half time show during the Super bowl. He said that was really good. He said that he enjoys some of that music. He said he was kind of enjoying it all. He said he liked Snoop's outfit too. He said that was cool. Robin said he does that move and doesn't really dance. Howard said he needs to know how to do that. He said he has to get him on the show and get lessons. Robin said he does something with his feet. Howard said whatever that move is he likes. He said he has a move himself but it looks like he just can't dance.

  Howard said someone explained to him that after Eminem sang he was on the floor praying to Allah or something. He said it turns out it was an homage to Colin Kaepernick. He said he didn't know what he was doing but then someone let him know.

  Howard said he liked the first song that Snoop did. He said he liked that Dr. Dre song and the 50 Cent song. He said he kind of enjoyed the whole thing. He said it was pretty good. Robin said Snoop always entertains her with the way he talks. She said he has a perfect voice too. Howard said Eminem reminded him of Benjy. He said he has his look.

  Howard took a call from frequent caller Apples who said he wanted for Valentine's day peace between him and Ronnie. He said their whole thing was on Valentine's day because of a post that Stephanie had made. Howard said maybe Ronnie would be open to that. Apples said that he did something special and he has been contributing to Ronnie's Twitter. He said he has been sharing some hot chicks with him lately. He said he blocked him so he made another account. He said he retweets him every day. He said he has been one of the guys that he's tweeting out. He said he retweets him every day.

  Howard asked Ronnie if he's hearing this. Ronnie said he is. He said he'll never be friends with Apples. He said there will never be peace. Apples said he'll never bring up Stephanie again. Ronnie told him to stay away from her and away from her Instagram. He said he's a fucking piece of shit and a stalker. Howard said it's not stalking if you're just following someone.

  Ronnie said he hears this guy's voice in his head all the time. He said it's a whiny voice. Howard asked what he makes of this retweeting thing. Ronnie said the guy is still an asshole who is probably SternFan-somebody who puts up stuff every day. He said there's no burying the hatchet. He said he's not talking to him about making up.

  Howard asked what if Apples died tomorrow. Ronnie said that's fine. He said he's fine with that. Apples said he couldn't live with that if Ronnie died. Howard asked what his name is on Twitter. Ronnie said it's SternFan-something. Apples said he is SternFan6969. Ronnie said he knew it. Apples said they agree on hot women. Ronnie told him not to worry about what he posts. He said he's not prejudiced to anyone. He said he will put it all up. He doesn't care.

  Apples said a lot of those girls are trying to get retweets so they get more business on OnlyFans. Ronnie said he doesn't care. He said he'll post whoever he wants.

  Ronnie said he's blocking this new account as soon as he's done there. Howard took a call from a guy named oranges who was doing an impression of Apples and making stuff up.

  Howard asked why it matters if Apples sent him pictures of women. Ronnie said this guy turns his stomach. He said now that he knows it turns his stomach. He said he would have kept doing it if he hadn't opened his mouth. He said now he has to start another fucking account. He said the fans don't like him. He said you should read the comments about him. Howard asked how long he's been doing this. Apples said it's been a few months. He said he was going to post just pictures with apples in them. He said that he would have figured it out though.

  Apples asked Ronnie about the hot NASCAR driver. That went nowhere so Howard let him go. He took another call from Oranges who did his impression of Apples asking Ronnie creepy questions.

  Howard said Apples might be on to something. He said Sal got hired because he was bugging Gary every day. He said it worked out for Sal.

  Howard said people have commented on Sal's new hairdo. He said he greases it back. He said no one is saying anything to compliment it. He said if he were Sal he'd go back to his old style.

  Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she feels bad for JD. She said fuck this Apples guy too. She said she just blocked him. She said she hopes everyone blocks him. She said he has no content. She said that he's looking at this stuff too deep. Howard said if you put it out there people are going to do that. He said people look at Beth's posts and you see the tip of a Christmas tree and they comment on things like that. He said they scour these pictures. Mariann said these people have nothing going on in their lives. She said it's outrageous to make a fake account to post those pictures of women. Howard hung up on her in the middle of her rant.

  Howard said Ronnie has a new girlfriend. Ronnie said she's been there a long time. He said she always backs him up.

  Howard said he didn't call Ronnie this weekend. He said he's sorry. Ronnie said it's fine. He said he understood. He said he didn't get mad. Howard said he's going crazy. Ronnie said it's not an easy thing. He said he's been there, done that. Howard said he doesn't want to get on his wrong side. Ronnie said it's fine.

• Sal Update, New Beetlejuice Song And More. 02/14/22. 8:10am
  Howard said he's going to take a little break and maybe play the new Beetlejuice song. He said he did this for Valentine's day.

  Howard said Sal was inspired by Halston to slick his hair back. He said he doesn't look good. He said he knows he likes it but about 5 people have said it looks bad. Sal said he saw the series about Halston and it did something to him. He said he had to do that. Howard said someone suggested to him that he slick his hair back and he said no way. He said Beth said no way.

  Sal said he had a beard for about a month and his wife didn't notice. He said he had to bring it up to her. Howard asked if they're having sex at all. Sal said they are and they had something nice this weekend. He said he took her out to a nice dinner.

  Gary asked if Sal is dying his hair. Sal said he's not but when he slicks it back then it looks dark. He showed there is some grey in there. Howard said he sees it.

  Sal said women like the grey. Robin said a distinguished man is a good thing. Robin said Sal has no bone structure in his face so that's why the slicked hair doesn't work.

  Howard asked Sal for an update on Richard's hat. Sal said he dropped another load on the hat and it went up to 3.7 ounces. He said that was from 3.5. He said he did lose one load when he had a get together with his wife. He said he has one more in the chamber for today's show. He said he's dropping it over the top of the hat. He said that will drip down. Howard asked what he's busy fucking his wife for. He said he should have saved it for the hat.

  Sal asked if Robin can look at the one load he's very proud of. He said it's one he dropped on the brim. Jason had it so he showed it to everyone. Robin and Howard sounded shocked by it. Robin asked how you do that. Howard said he's never been happier with a performance but he's also disgusted by him. Sal laughed and said Richard has to put that on his head. Howard said he's pretty aware of Robin and he thinks he's winning her over with those loads. Sal said he thinks so too. Robin said she never thought that she'd see anything as bad as the first load but this was even worse. Howard said it's like a big pile. Richard said it's so gross. He was dry heaving again.

  Howard said the third load looked like an oyster. Richard dry heaved when he thought about that. Robin said they do look like that. Sal said he'll take Richard out to dinner and get some seafood.

  Howard asked if Richard was happy that JD didn't get what he wanted. Richard said no because now they're both losers. He said he wanted something good to come out of this. He said he and his wife were cheering hard for the Bengals. He said Howard is the greatest too. He said he flew them out to see the Super Bowl and then JD out to see his team. He said he was really bummed that he didn't get to see them win.

  Howard asked if he felt that the calls at the end of the game turned it. Richard said they did. He said things were getting by them and then it changed. He said the refs were staying out of it and not doing anything for a long time. He said then they got into it and it changed the game.

  Howard did a live commercial read and asked if Sal and Richard were involved with this Beetlejuice song. Richard said he was with some other guys. Howard said Beetlejuice likes to sing about pussy and money. He said that's how he writes his songs. He said sometimes he shows a softer side. He played a song where Beetlejuice sang about people in love from a few years back.

  Howard said people wrote in about how much his love songs mean to them. He said Beetlejuice was in a vulnerable place when he recorded this one. He said before he plays the finished version he has to play the recoding session clips. He said they don't put him up to this. He said this is Beet yelling at the guys. Howard played that clip where Beetlejuice was talking to Richard about things and then sang some for him.

  Howard said he loves hearing Richard and Beetlejuice talking about music theory. Howard said Beetlejuice was in a vulnerable place when he did this song. He said this is called ''Me and You.'' He played the song that the guys put together with Beetlejuice singing and barely saying words. The had backup singers singing his lyrics clearly.

  Howard said that's beautiful. He said Kurt Cobain never enunciated either. He said it's a style. Richard said Steve Nowicki played guitar on that. Howard said they'll post the lyrics up with the song. He read some of the lyrics and it was tough to figure out what he was singing about. Howard said Beetlejuice got paid to do that. He said they tracked him and he bought a bunch of beef jerky, condoms and things like that. Sal said he was out with Beetlejuice once and he bought two of the same bootlegged VHS tapes. He said he wanted to watch the second one after watching the first one. He said he's the best. Howard said he is the GOAT. He said he shed a tear when he heard that song. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.

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• Lenny Dykstra, Trucker Protest And More. 02/14/22. 8:40am
  After the break they played a phony phone call the guys made to a locksmith as Marfan Mike, a Lenny Dykstra message for Robin on Valentine's day and Sia's ''Chandelier.''

  Howard came back and asked how amazing it would be if Robin let Lenny Dykstra eat her out and if it was horrible. Robin said that the thing before he eats you out is the amazing thing. She said that voice he puts on is a turn off. Howard said he thinks she should consider that whole thing. He said he was one of the greatest athletes of all time. Robin asked if she should sacrifice herself because he played baseball. Howard said he never imagined that guy would fall for a person he works with.

  Howard said he hates not being in control of his show. The guys had turned off the Sia song. Howard said she told him some stuff about that song. He said if he could write like that he'd keep them all to himself.

  Howard said Sia told him she starts out with simple lyrics. He said she wants to give the record label a title that's easy to Google. He said he's writing one called The Lamp. He said he was going to call it The Light bulb. He said he has one called Waffle Iron too. He said it's pretty weird.

  Howard said he has one called Recliner. Robin said he just went around his house picking things out.

  Howard said Gary was trying to tell him something. Gary said the Mets are bringing back the old timers game and they announced that Lenny is not invited. Howard said he is an old timer though. Gary said he thinks that because he's been to jail and committed some crimes might have something to do with that. He said he thinks it has to do with the stuff he continues to post online. He said they may not want the guy at the game. Howard said that doesn't diminish his playing. He said he thinks he's anti-vax too. Gary said he thinks he is. He said he's in a twitter feud with Richard Marx over the masking thing. He said that Rick Schroeder posted something about the trucking convoy up in Canada and then they got into it. He said Lenny started wailing on Richard Marx over what he said about Rick's post.

  Howard said these truckers are such scumbags. He said he's respected truckers for a long time. He said that the trucker's union does not support these guys. He said they want to shut down the country in Canada. He said they're trying to shut down this major route up there and they have to have it open. He said up in Canada they have an 80-90 percent vaccination rate and they don't agree with the truckers. He said he's not sure why they're carrying on up there. He said they're calling for the same thing down here. He said this is anti-American. He said you don't applaud shutting down the country. He said we have enough problems.

  Robin said there are a lot of people who don't want this country to get involved with Russia and Ukraine. She said they agree with Russia and Putin and they say he has the right to do what he wants to do. Robin said these are the same people who loved Ronald Reagan but they're pro-Putin. Howard said Putin is a scum bag. He said you don't want to be in the media and say something about him because you'll end up dead.

  Howard said Lenny has been vaccinated. He said he has some audio but it's hard to understand because he's eating while talking about it. Howard played the clip. Gary said he seems to be against masks. He said he is anti-mandate but maybe not anti-vax. He said he's in support of those truckers too.

  Howard said he has to get this right. He read about what Lenny wrote to Richard Marx. Gary went through the rest of the posts and explained what went on there. Lenny wanted to fight Richard but it doesn't sound like Richard wants to fight him.

  Gary said that Ron Darling is the announcer for the Mets and that's someone that Lenny likes to rant against. He said that might have something to do with the whole reason the Mets don't invite him to the old timers game.

  Howard said Lenny has said some things about Ron that he didn't appreciate. He said that Richard Marx is right about the trucker thing. He said being an idiot is in vogue now. Robin said it is what we have to deal with now. She said it's the stupid and the selfish.

• Nikki's Super Bowl Pee Bet. 02/14/22. 8:55am
  Howard took a call from a woman who said she bet her husband that the Bengals would win and if they lost her husband could pee on her. Howard went through that with her and asked if her husband wanted to do this. The caller, Nikki, said she was going to do the same thing to him if she won. Howard asked how soon after the game did he want to do it. She said it was right after. She said she wanted to do it in the shower so the did it in there. She said it was funny because they both liked it. Howard asked if they ran the water in there or just did it in the shower. She said the water was on but just hitting her. She said then he gave her the golden shower. Howard asked how she looks. Nikki said she thinks like between Megan Foxx and Britney Spears. Howard said that's a mix. He said that she must be super hot. He asked how tall she is. She said she's 5'8'' and she weights 128. Howard asked if she has big boobs. She said one is way bigger than the other. Howard said oh. He said he was getting a boner but now she has two different sized titties. He said asked if one is a B and one is a C. She said exactly.

  Howard said that's a really angry bet. He asked if they had ever done this before. Nikki said they had not. Howard asked if they did it right after the game. She said they did. She said that she didn't think he'd be able to do it but he was. She said that the water wasn't running on the side he peed on.

  Howard asked where he peed on her. She said it was all over. She said she was twirling around. She said that she didn't smell anything bad. She said he was so hydrated that it didn't smell. Howard said he thinks it was the water running. Nikki said maybe she shouldn't have had the water running. Howard said he's calling bullshit on the whole thing. He said she shouldn't have had the water running. Nikki asked if she should re-do it. Howard said she didn't get humiliated. He said that's the whole point of doing it.

  Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Michael Caine who gave some advice on peeing on someone. He said you always aim for the eyes and you take a multi-vitamin a couple of hours before so it's more yellow.

  Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked why they would have to wait for bets and all of that. He said his wife peeing on him is pleasurable to him. Howard said they made it like a sexy bet. King said that he would want his wife to win the bet if she did that with him. Howard said he sees. He said that's fascinating. King said the best part of it is the anticipation. Howard said alright and took a call.

  Howard took a call from a woman who said that she bet her husband that she'd have to gargle his diarrhea if she lost. It was Chris wilding doing a woman's voice and goofing on this caller's bet. Robin asked why the woman's husband would have diarrhea. Howard said that's a good question. Howard let Nikki go a short time later.

• Super Bowl Update With JD And Jon Blitt. 02/14/22. 9:05am
  Howard said its getting late in the show so he has to get to JD and Jon. He had a caller on the line who claimed to be a trucker up in Canada. The guy explained to Howard what's going on up there.

  Howard said he has to tell you about the Super Bowl and JD. He said that the Bengals lost 23-20 and it was a heartbreaker for JD. He said JD thought destiny was on his side but not this year. He said he sees that JD and Jon Blitt are out there in L.A. Jon and JD thanked Howard for sending them out there.

  Howard said Jon was focused on JD the whole time. Jon said it was fucking stressful watching JD the whole time. He said it was brutal to see. JD said that what helped with the stress was someone asking him what was happening in the game. Howard said he had to do the play by play for Jon. JD said that he kept asking questions like ''was that good'' when Joe Burrow got sacked.

  Howard asked how the seats were. JD said thank you for sending him. He said he wants to get that out there first. He said that the seats were up in the 500 section which was fine. He said there's no bad seat in that stadium. He said he could see the whole field and what was going on.

  Howard asked what it was like when the Bengals were winning with just 90 seconds left. JD said that he cried like 3 times during the game. He said he got emotional a lot. He said he had to get a hold of himself. He said he knew he looked ridiculous. He said then the flags started flying at the end of the game. Jon said he went into a dark place. He said you don't want to touch him or even talk to him. He said the emotions got really dark.

  Howard asked if JD was rocking back and forth and things like that. Jon said there was a lot of rocking going on. He said when he gets down he gets very still and he internalizes all of these emotions. He said he's okay now but he was nervous for him. He said he's happy he's not as bad as he thought he'd be.

  Robin asked if JD was embarrassed to do this stuff in public. Howard said that's a good question. Jon said he doesn't root along with the other fans so it's very odd. He said he does his own thing. He said JD's fans were stalking him out there too. He said JD is kind of nervous. He said he got warmed up and did talk to some of them. He said fans were thanking him non stop. He said the fans are very grateful.

  Howard asked if JD is hanging out with famous friends does he complain about his fans to them. Jon said that he does complain about not watching to hang with them. He said it's important to be grateful to the fans. JD said it's not like that.

  Howard asked about this dinner they went to. He said they met up with Ryan Phillippe out there. He said he blew off Jerry O'Connell and he was upset about that. He had a voicemail from Jerry about that. He played the clip and Jerry was saying that he must want them to leave him alone. He said they were going to have some fun out there.

  Howard asked when they got out there. JD said Friday. Howard asked when JD starts hanging with Ryan. Jon said they met for dinner and they were like 2 peas in a pod. JD said they want to meet up again before he leaves. Howard asked what he talks to Ryan about. He said he's a good looking dude. Jon said he's one of the coolest dudes. He said that he is very good looking too. Howard asked if people were bothering him there. JD said they were being left alone. He said the waiter was freaking out about JD. He said that he couldn't believe that they were there. He said that he could give a shit about Ryan and he was all about JD. Howard asked if Ryan gets weirded out by that. Jon said Ryan just let him have his thing. Howard said he can't handle it when someone goes up to someone famous at a table at dinner. He said it must have been horrible for Ryan. JD said he was fine. He said he's a good guy. Howard said his self worth is about how much the fans love him so it must have been tough for Ryan.

  Howard asked about fans coming up to JD. Jon said they do recognize him but they don't all approach him. He said if you see him then come up to him and give him a hug. He said JD loves hugs. JD said he does not. He said don't do that. Jon said just shake his hand and give him a hug. Howard and Robin asked if he put the waiter up to this. Jon said he did not. He swears that he didn't do that.

  JD said Jon was goofing on him by telling people that this was his first flight. He said they got off the plane and told everyone it was his first.

  Howard asked what it was like when he told people that. Jon said they were telling him it was wonderful. Howard asked JD if he tells the people that it's not true. JD said he did. He said Jon was telling everyone it was his first. Jon said he's going to tell everyone that it's their first flight and they're a gay couple. He said he could propose to him on the plane or something. JD told him not to do that. He said he'll change his flight. Jon said he'll do the same thing then.

  Howard asked Jon to tell them what it'll be like. Jon did his proposal and JD was cracking up. Jon said he'll make a scene if he doesn't say yes. JD said he'll walk away from him. Jon told him not to do that. He said he'll make a scene. Howard said he can't tell people that he was inside him. He said there might be kids on the plane. Jon said he will come up with something. JD said he gets graphic so he's going to get in trouble.

  Howard said it sounds exhausting hanging around Blitt. JD said it can be. He said the had lunch the other day and they sat there for 2 hours. Jon said JD went out and bought his wife a nice candle. JD said he did. He said it was $130. Howard said why not just burn a $100 bill.

  Howard said he has to review the game. He said that Joe Burrow is on the phone too. He took the call from fake Joe who was mumbling his comments about why he got fucked up when he saw this fan rocking back and forth in the stands.

  Howard said he was talking about The Rock earlier. JD said he got one of the highest cheers in the stands. Robin said people don't have good taste. Howard said the guy looks so peculiar. He said it's not normal to look like that. He said that he can't help but think that getting that large you must have an emotional problem. He said maybe he's all natural but he finds it hard to believe you get that big without help from something. Robin said he is Samoan so maybe it's in his genetics. Howard said maybe that's it.

  Howard said he doesn't know what The Rock was doing out there. He said he was trying to pay attention but he was carrying on and he's not sure why. Robin said he has a new series on NBC so they were promoting him.

  Howard asked if your arms should be bigger than your head. He said it's not normal. Howard had some audio from the game where The Rock was making his speech before the game.

  Howard said it's exhausting to hear that. JD said he just wanted to game to get started. Howard said that deep voiced announcer gets him every time. Robin asked if that's the guy they talked to. Howard said he thinks that's Alan Roach. He said he has some tape of him before the game too. He said they had all of the super patriotic stuff before the game. He said they have the announcer as someone named Sam. JD said he thinks they bring in a neutral announcer since they have a neutral place they're playing.

  Howard said at one point they had Jeff Goldblum on in the pre-game. He said they had Jeff, Dale Earnhart Jr. and Rutledge Wood on together. He said they had Jeff on to promote the Jurassic Park. Howard had some audio of Jeff talking to the other guys about the game and not knowing who was playing. Jeff brought up The Cincinnati Kid movie. Rutledge brought up the movie to get out of that conversation.

  Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Jeff Goldblum who talked about that game and had the Chiefs playing in it. Howard stuck with that bit for a minute with Jeff rambling about a few things.

  Howard had some audio of the announcer and said it stops him in his tracks when he hears that guy. Howard said he could have gone right into radio after high school if he had a voice like that. Fred played some audio of Alan Roach saying things like ''Welch's Grape Juice'' and Howard did his impression of that a little bit.

  Howard had some audio of Alan Roach doing his thing introducing the woman who sang the National Anthem. Howard did his impression of that intro as well. He had his voice lowered with his equipment so it was really low.

  Howard played more clips of the announcer doing his thing. Howard said he had no idea what some of the commercials were about this year. He said that they were talking about stuff he had no idea about. He said that he felt like he was on mushrooms and he was confused. Robin said that there was some confusion about Uber Eats and the commercials they ran. She said they had to tell people not to eat their shampoo after that. Howard said he doesn't pay attention that close to the commercials. He said there was a square thing bouncing around the screen. Gar said it was cryptocurrency. Robin said it was for Coinbase where you can buy crypto. Howard said he didn't even know what that thing was on the screen. Robin said it was the QR code. Robin said you scan it with your phone and it brings you to the web site.

  Gary said the commercial with Eugene Levy bummed him out. He said it seemed like they just threw shit in a blender. Howard said every commercial was like that for him. He said he might be out of it or something. He said it seems like America is going to hell in a hand basket.

  Howard played another announcer clip and did his impression of that with his voice changer. Howard said the guy has some voice. He wondered how he functions the rest of the day. He said people must be shocked when they hear that voice.

  Howard asked Gary what he wanted to say. Gar said he liked the Sopranos commercial. Howard said he saw that and figured Meadow turned out to be very good looking. Gary said that Meadow is married to Lenny Dykstra's son in real life. Howard said that's shocking. He asked if they're all on good terms. Gary said he's not sure.

  Robin said the talking baby commercial was cute. Howard said he doesn't like that. He said the mouth is off and whoever did the voice for the baby he doesn't like. He said he doesn't like talking babies.

  Howard said Lenny is on good terms from what Memet says. Robin said maybe Lenny doesn't know. Howard said she's mean.

  Howard got back to the game and said that he liked seeing Billie Jean King flipping the coin. Robin said she has talked to her and she thought she had done the show. Gary said he doesn't think she has. Howard said he can't remember if she did.

  Howard took a call from a woman who said her aunt had something happen to her like Bob Saget. She said that she fell because she was all dizzy and she had COVID and didn't know it. She said that she fell and ended up in the hospital. Howard said that's what he was saying. Robin said that she knows a person who went to sleep and died and didn't even know they had COVID.

  Howard said his mom had COVID so maybe that's where her pain is coming from. He said that he was talking to the doctors about that but they don't think that's where it's coming from. He said it's fucking crazy. He said he thinks it's fucking with people more than we know.

  Howard asked if JD wore masks there. JD said he thought it was an indoor stadium but the sides are open. He said no one was wearing masks. He said he took his down to drink beer so it stayed off. He said he didn't wear the mask. Jon said JD didn't wear a mask. Robin said they say outside you don't need one. Howard said he'd wear one. He said the mask works. JD said he was more worried about it when they were leaving. He said they were all going out the same exit. He said there were a lot of people there leaving the exit.

  Howard said they have to follow up on Sal and the angels telling him who was going to win. He said he bet $500 on the game based on those angels. He said that he lost every bet just about. He ran through the bets Sal had and lost.

  Howard asked Sal if he still believes in that stuff. Sal said he has been racking his brain since the game. Howard said he's good at Jizzing on hats but not so much with the betting. Sal said he has a theory. Howard said he odes too. He said the angels were wrong because he doesn't talk to angels. He said he was just hypnotized and thinking he was talking to them. Sal said maybe because he lost all the bets that it was an alternate universe that gave him the answers. He said that it doesn't work the same in the two universes. Howard said they should have told him to do the opposite. Sal said he'll do that next time. Robin said he got one right though. Sal said maybe they threw him a bone.

  Howard said Sal's wife is on the phone and she has some predictions. He took the call from fake Christine who went off on him saying that she predicts she'll have a new husband in 6 months. She talked about having sex with him this weekend too. She said she wants to throw up thinking about him rubbing his penis all over her.

  Howard said people who believe in angels and psychics never change their minds. He said that Sal lost all of these bets and he still believes in them. He said Sal thinks that they're in this alternate universe and they gave him the opposite answers.

  Howard asked fake Christine if she thinks about other men when she's with Sal. She said the new hair style makes her think he's a different guy. She said that does work.

  Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake Gary Busey who was talking about how there are angels and there is another side. He rambled on and on about that stuff for a minute. Howard said Sal is not alone in this belief. He said Gary Busey is there with him.

  Howard said after the game Michael Rapaport immediately sent a clip to JD. He had the audio to play. Michael went off on JD for his team's loss. JD said he's not sure what his deal is. He said he's not sure why he wants him to be miserable.

  Howard said he has a picture of a text that JD and Michael sent. He said that JD was congratulating Michael on being in ''Only Murders in the Building'' and then Michael goes off on him saying he's going to spit right in his ass after this game. Howard said JD was being nice to him and it didn't matter. JD said he sent that text to him days ago. He said then he gets that response days later.

  Howard read some of Jon Blitt's notes about JD and how moody he gets during the game. Jon said he's like an Italian sports car that's very hard to tune. He said you get it running but then it's stops running and you have to figure out what's wrong with it.

  Howard said JD had a full day at the Super Bowl. He was recognized 6 times at the tailgate party. He said the Black Crows played that party. He said it says that JD was not impressed with those guys. JD said he's not a fan of their music. Jon said that JD said that they should be happy they're getting paid. JD said that's the way Jon asks him questions. He said this is what he has to deal with.

  Howard said JD told Jason that he would not eat or drink much at the game so he didn't have to use the bathroom there. JD said he just had one beer. Jon said he had two. JD said he's right about that. Jon said they were big ones too. Howard asked how much the beer was. JD said it was like 20 bucks. Howard asked what a can usually costs. JD said it's like 15 bucks for a six pack. Howard said that's gouging.

  JD told Howard he had some food there too. He said he had chicken salad and a grilled cheese thing. He said he just wanted to watch the game and not have to worry about eating. He said it was hot out there too. He said he just wanted to stay there at the stadium.

  Howard had a montage of clips of JD complaining about the celebrities who showed up to support the Rams. Howard played that clip where JD was telling people to go fuck themselves when he saw them on screen. He liked a couple of guys but he was cursing out a lot of others.

  Howard said he was on a mad tear over that. JD said they don't come to regular games. He said they were just there for the Super Bowl. Howard said he's sure Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was relieved that JD said he likes him.

  Howard said he has some audio of JD talking to his dad about the game. He played that short clip with JD and his dad talking about what a bummer that game was.

  Howard said JD was annoyed by Megan and Prince Harry being at the game. JD said that they're not big football fans. Robin said they do play football in England. JD said maybe sometimes they do. He said he was just annoyed about Los Angeles winning another thing. He said it just adds on to another annoying thing.

  Howard said JD as especially annoyed with Lebron James cheering on the Rams. He played a clip of JD going off on him about that. He said he is from Ohio so he should be supporting the Bengals.

  Howard said that's pretty wild. He said he's coming down hard on Lebron. JD said he's sure the guy doesn't care.

  Howard said they went on a hike out there and JD was all out of breath. JD said it was all up hill. He said that they had to park far from the trail so it wasn't easy. Jon said he's worried about JD and his exercise. JD said he knows he should do more. Jon said he should be doing it now. He said we don't want to lose him because he's an American treasure.

  Howard said JD was blaming his underwear for his hiking issues. JD said it was too loose and it wasn't fun. He said it didn't feel great after. He said he could barely walk.

  Howard said he should get some Tommy John. JD said he has some and they're good. He said he wasn't wearing them for this hike. He said he didn't know what the hike was going to be like. He said it was all uphill. He said it was like 2 miles all up hill.

  Jon said JD shot suntan lotion in his eyes. JD said he did get some in his eyes. He said he didn't do it like Jon thinks he did. Howard said this trip sounds horrible.

  Howard said JD is fat now. Jon said he is out of shape and he is worried about him. Howard read about what JD had after the hike and it was a lot of food. He asked if he needs chocolate mousse after lunch. JD said Jon is the one who wanted that.

  Howard had some audio of JD on his hike and he was all out of breath. Howard said he can barely talk. A fan recognized him on the walk. Howard said the fans were all over him. Robin said Blitt was talking just fine. JD said Jon was jaunting up the hill and he was struggling. Howard said he should be able to do it. He said he's younger than Blitt. JD said he knows.

  Howard asked if he was nervous for him. Jon said he was. He said JD was very angry and some dogs beat him to the top. Howard said the lunch after the hike negated everything he did on that walk. Howard read about what he had for dinner and he had even more. He had a couple of beers too. Howard said why not just have a stick of butter. JD said he might as well.

  Howard asked JD why not skip the potatoes when you have bread and all of that other stuff. JD said it never occurs to him. He said he doesn't think like that. Howard asked what he weighs these days. JD said he's like 220. Howard asked if he's 5'5'' or something. JD said he's 5'8'' or 5'9'' or something. He's not even sure about that.

  Howard said JD had a THC infused drink out there. JD said he hasn't had it yet. He said he's not sure when he will. JD said he's not sure when he'll have it. He said they have a few more days out there. He said he'll drink it before he goes home.

  Howard said they'll get to more tomorrow. He said that Jon Hein had a theory about the game. He said he thinks that JD jinxed the Bengals by going to the game. JD said he won't be going to any more Super Bowls so he won't have to worry about that again.

  Howard asked Jon Hein about what he's saying here. Jon went into his explanation about how he thinks JD jinxed the team by going to the game. JD said they're all possibilities. Robin said he's like Sal thinking like that. JD said he tried to play it straight but as soon as Sal said it he knew it was bad. Sal said how about the better team just won. Jon Hein said that Sal got every bet wrong. He said he was so confident. Sal said they'll research this and figure it out. Howard asked where you research that. JD said with the cardinals in his back yard.

  Howard said he saw that JD's knees got sun burned being out in the sun out there. JD said he didn't think. He said he didn't think they'd be out in the sun as much as they were.

  Howard said the good news is that JD's knees are Bengal orange. JD said they are. Jon Hein said he knows how JD must feel after they lost in that last minute. He said he feels for him. JD said they were doing so good the first half and the third quarter.

  Howard asked if he hates Cooper Kupp. JD said he's not a big fan right now. Howard asked Hein if he finds it hard to relate to JD when his team, the Steelers, have won so many Super Bowls. Jon said he knows what it feels like to lose like that.

  Howard said even the Jets have won a Super Bowl and they suck. JD said he's well aware.

  Howard asked when they're coming home. They said they're coming back on Thursday. Howard asked what they have planned out there. Jon said they will be going out to dinner and things like that. Fred played some clips of JD crying/laughing when the Bengals won their playoff games.

  Howard asked if they were able to get him into the parties out there. JD said he wasn't able to get into them. He said it just didn't happen. He said that's fine though. He said some people wanted to see if he wanted to go out last night but he was too bummed.

  Howard read about this grilled cheese sandwich that JD had out there. It was full of all kinds of cheese and bacon among other things. Jon said that he just needs to walk. He said he told him he doesn't walk. JD said he knows what he needs to do and he'll get to it. Howard asked if he was sore after that walk. JD said he was a little bit. He said he was irritated from the underwear too. He said his sack slapping his leg or something made it irritated. Jon said he wants to take him on another hike. JD said he's not going on another hike. Sal asked if he'd go if he had a grilled cheese after the hike.

  Howard said he has to get into shape now and not later. He said once you start breaking down it's too late.

  Howard asked JD if he snacks between meals. JD said not a lot. He said he'll have some peanuts and things like that. Jon said JD loves Combos. He said he still has some of those left. Robin asked if he eats 3 meals out there. JD said he has had breakfast.

  Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wanted to ask Robin about being black and how so many commercials are bi-racial lately. She said that she's wondering if that's what black people want. She said that she's wondering what Robin's views are on this. Howard said he thinks he understands that she's asking if the bi-racial couples have kids that the kids won't know who to date. The caller was going on and on about this stuff asking how black people view this. Howard asked if she has considered that you could end up looking like Zendaya. The caller said that love is love and she doesn't care who you end up with but when you have kids who are half and half who accepts it. Howard said it seems like she does care.

  Howard asked Robin what she thinks about this. He said imagine being comfortable making this phone call. Robin said she'd just say this is the way the world is going so just deal with it. She said it doesn't matter what you want. She said people are going to do what they want. Howard said we're all human beings. He said he thinks that's the answer here. He said it's irrelevant. Robin said the different race thing hasn't helped the world. Robin said how about dropping some of this bullshit. Howard let the caller go.

  Howard answered a knock at the door and fake Mel Gibson was agreeing with the caller, Nancy, and said he was thinking the same thing. Howard let Mel go after a minute.

  Blitt said that JD has a phobia about putting his clothes in the drawers of the hotel. JD said he just doesn't want to forget anything. He said he keeps it all laid out on the second bed. JD said he has some on the table too. Howard asked if he's afraid that when they come in the room to clean that they'll mess it up. JD said he's fine with it the way it is. The guy spent a few minutes talking to JD about that weird thing.

  Sal said just put the Combos in the drawer with the clothes and he won't forget them.

  Howard took a call from a woman who went off on that woman who just called in about the mixed race stuff. She said she cringed. Howard said it takes all kinds.

  Howard said JD called his knapsack a book bag. He said years ago JD had his book bag filled with porn and it set off an alarm at Barnes and Noble. JD said he told the story before on the air. He said he loaded up some free porn from the show and he went to the book store and when he left the alarm went off so he had to show them what was in his bag. He said the guy looked in his bad and just went ''Whoa!'' JD said he explained he got it at work. Robin said the were probably like ''Sure.''

  Howard said he should call his bag a Combos and Porn bag. JD said he's just going to call it a backpack.

  Howard said he can't imagine how humiliating it would be to be stopped with porn in his bag. Howard said he can only imagine what the titles of those things were.

  Howard said JD had a porn in his office called ''Jews Love Black Cock'' at one time. JD said that was for work. He said they wanted him to pull some clips from that for some guest or something.

  Howard asked JD about the women who are out there and if JD saw some hot chicks. JD said there are some attractive women out there. Jon said that a lot of women came up to him and recognized him.

  Richard said that book store story is his favorite. He said he and JD used to pull a lot of clips of gay porn stuff. He said that he can imagine that stuff was in his bag. JD said he thinks the sent a lot of that gay stuff off to Eric the Actor. Richard said they would put the gay stuff in regular porn boxes and Eric would get pissed off at them over that. Sal said they sent Eric ''Shaving Ryan's Privates'' and he didn't think that was funny at all.

  Howard said he hopes JD and Jon have a good time out there. JD and Jon thanked him for sending them out there. Howard said he was pulling for he Bengals to win. He said he may never see that again so it was a once in a lifetime thing. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:50am.

• Howard's Mom, Valentine's Day And More. 02/15/22. 7:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: An announcement about Dave Grohl and Taylor Hawkins visiting today.

  Howard started the show talking about how he needs more juice in his cans. He asked the guys for more. He said he can't get enough. Robin said it sounds like a condition. Howard said he has so many conditions he's not sure what to do. He said his neck is killing him. He said it's got to be from stress. He said his mother is still having issues. He said they're not even sure what's wrong with her. He said they give her pain killers and nothing works. He said they gave her everything and nothing works. He said it's awful. He said he was more affected by the death of Ivan Reitman too. He said he can't stop thinking about that. He said his neck is killing him. He said his mother has back pain and they gave her a back brace. He said she says it's too heavy. He said it weighs nothing. He said she can't have it both ways.

  Howard said maybe today she'll be better. He said he's hoping. Robin said maybe today will be the day. Howard said after he gets off the phone he has to say that he'll have to see what tomorrow brings. He said his mom has always been depressed but not like this. He said they asked if she's always been like this. He said he says there was a time when she was like this and then they put her on valium. He said she went out and got a job after that. He said she had never been taught to ride a bicycle and she learned after that. He said she was riding up and down Grand Avenue in Baldwin. He said someone put it in her head that she shouldn't be on antidepressants and then she got off of them and off the bike. He said she quit her job too. He said she wondered what she was doing.

  Howard said he went off to college and he called and found out she was doing Transcendental Meditation. He said he was taken aback by her happiness. He said it was unbelievable. He said he went and learned to do Transcendental Meditation too. He said that got his mom far in life. He said she had a better attitude. He said now that's all gone and she's in bad shape. He said she was in the hospital and didn't even ask how his father is. He said in the beginning she was wondering who was going to take care of him. He said now she doesn't care. He said it's every man for himself.

  Howard said his mom doesn't deserve this. He said life isn't fair. He said he told Robin that yesterday.

  Howard said yesterday was Valentine's day. He said he got Robin and Beth some hand painted cards. He said Beth was complaining that Robin's was better that her's. He said that was a problem. He said he did her's first. He said Beth was right though. He said she doesn't mind sharing him with Robin. Robin said she's a sweetheart. Howard said Robin got him a pen which was a nice one. He said she got him some pink ink too. He said he painted some flowers for her. He said it took him a long time too. He said it was no walk in the park.

  Howard said he sent Robin roses and his daughters too. He said he got Beth a bunch of stuff. He said it's love day. He said he got her the card and all of that. He said he was too busy yesterday.

  Howard said Taylor and Dave from Foo Fighters are stopping by today. He said they made a movie. He said it's a good idea. He said he had to watch the whole movie. Robin said she thought it was great. Howard said it was silly and campy fun. He said it's good. Robin said some of the lines are hysterical. Howard said Robin is the reason that movie got made. He said at the end of the last time they spoke to Dave Grohl Dave was telling a story about how they made the album and he saw weird shit in the house they recorded in. He played a clip of Robin telling Dave that he should make a movie out of that story.

  Howard said Robin is an innovator. He said she suggested to Dave that he should make a movie out of that. Robin said it did sound like a good movie plot. Howard said she should take a bow. Robin said maybe her name should be on that movie. Howard said they put Pat Smear on it so why not.

  Howard said he did the radio show yesterday and had to watch that movie. He said he had to take a walk and work out and then talk to his mom and the doctors. He said he was really busy. He said he's in radio and shouldn't have to worry about that. He said he had to call Pat about helping him out with his neck. He said he was coming up the stairs at 4 and he had to shower and then watch the movie. He said he had to do his homework for the movie and he had it all plotted out. He said Beth sent him a picture of herself in panties and bra. He said he saw that and it's rare to get something like that. He said she said it was Bang O'clock. He said he had to do that too. He said he had too much to do. He said he had to tell her no. He said he asked himself what the fuck is wrong with him. He said who gives a shit about the rest of that shit. He said if you told him in high school that a girl who looks like that wanted to have sex with him he wouldn't have believed it. He said forget everything else, it's time to have sex. He said he's really broken up about Ivan Reitman too. He said the guy was a mentor to him. He said all of a sudden he saw Ivan and he was telling him to forget everything else and just fuck Beth. He said he saw Ivan and Ivan said he's a shit head.

  Howard said Ivan would do that to him. He said he went to dinner with Ivan after his divorce and he brought someone with him. He said that he was quite taken with the scene. He said you have to see this picture of Beth. He said he'll show Robin. He said she understands these things. He said he has to pull it up real quick. He said this is what she sent him. Robin said wow and asked if he really thought he had to do something other than that. She said it's very sexy and beautiful. Howard said it would only take 3 minutes anyway. He said he ran over to Beth and he said he had to take a shower. He said she said it was alright that he did that first. He said he had just worked out. He said he did that and saw himself naked and wrapped himself up in a towel to cover that body up.

  Howard said he's not sure if he can post this picture. He said that he wants to put it up. He said if you had showed 14 year old Howard that picture and said he'd be married to her then his dick would have exploded.

  Howard said it's such a great picture. He asked Gary if he should post it. Gary said he should ask Beth. He said if she's okay with it then post it. He said it's a great picture. He said he saw it. He said it's like out of a magazine. Howard said no Photoshop either. He asked JD what he thinks. JD said keep it private. He said he would vote for that. Howard said no shit. JD said she looked great. He said you want to have some things to yourself. He said there are plenty out there. Howard said how about one more. JD said this was made just for him. Howard said maybe he should ask her. He said maybe JD is right though. He said he should keep it quiet.

  Howard said it's a great picture. He said Fred told him he just jerked off to it. Robin said now it's not even private. She said JD has seen it. Howard said he knows. Robin said if she had a body you'd have trouble keeping clothes on it. She said it is her body though so maybe keep it private.

  Howard said he was boned up and ready to go after that. He said he got into bed and he was in his towel. He said he had a nice size belly and some titties going. He said he had to cover up. He said that trick doesn't work where you have the towel over your belly. He said he had it up to his tits. He said he had to unwrap and Beth was already in the bed. He said he felt so fat. Robin asked if it was dark. Howard said he did lower the shades. He said he wants to look at Beth but he doesn't want her to see him. He said he wants her to be blindfolded. He said he looked like an old woman getting a mammogram. He said he did his best though.

  Howard said he did that and then went and watched the movie and did some stuff for work. He said he had a little pep in his step after that.

  Gary said that Beth just texted him and said that he can post that picture. He said he didn't tell her anything. He said she just texted him. Gary said that she thinks there's nip in the pic. Howard said he's not sure if there is. He said he has to call to make sure.

  Howard called Beth and asked if she's sure he can post it. Beth said she thinks there's nip showing but she's okay with the picture being posted. She said there are pictures of her with less clothes than that. She said that she took it and she didn't think it was going to be out there but she thinks it's fine. She said go ahead. Howard said alright. He said he's getting boned up thinking about posting it. Beth said it's a 49 year old woman so she doesn't think people will get worked up over it. Howard said he's digging it. He said he doesn't usually go that old. He said he felt awful disrobing in front of her. Beth said she didn't think about his belly. She said it was beautiful yesterday. Howard said he dropped everything for her. He said if he's too busy to have sex with her then there's something wrong with his life. Beth said she agrees. Howard said he loves her so much. Beth said happy day after Valentine's day.

  Howard said he does think that he painted her card before Robin's and it was good. Beth said she can't believe he talked about that. Howard told her that she can't post that card. Howard said it's not that good.

  Beth said she has to go give Pebble her medication. Howard said she has been attacking her own tail so they had to put her on something. Beth had the name of it and she said that it wears off so she has to give it to her at exactly the right time. Howard said they should give his mother that medication.

  Beth said that she can't hear anyone else there. Howard said JD thinks he should keep this picture private. Beth said there are so many out there and she's not uptight about it. JD said she gave permission to post it. Howard let Beth go after that.

  Howard said that's some picture. He said he thinks you can see nip. He said it's through the bra. He said he doesn't see any nip actually. He said maybe he'll post it. He said there is some nip. He said you have to look hard for it. He said there is some nip. Robin said people will be doing the same thing he just did. Howard said there is nip. He said he'll keep this to himself. He said JD was right.

• JD Still In L.A. 02/15/22. 7:30am
  Robin said she's not sure why JD is right when he just said the same thing as she did. Howard said he's special to him. He said he saved his life. He said that he's out in L.A. and having fun out there. He said he went out to some people's homes. He said one of the guys asked how he did with small talk. He said JD said he thinks he did alright. Howard said imagine they have to ask how he did with small talk. Robin said everyone knows how he is.

  Howard said he's not sure it would have done well for JD if he hadn't stepped in and given him a job. JD said he did fine. He said they talked about life stuff and job stuff. He said he can't remember what it was. He said the couple was nice they were with.

  Howard said Jon took JD on another hike and he was out of breath again. He said this is audio of him out of breath. He said Jon asked him what his 10 favorite animals were. He said it annoys the fuck out of JD. Howard played the clip and JD didn't want any part of that question. He was out of breath while talking about that.

  Howard said he could probably do better than JD on that hike. JD said he wants to think thinks through an defend his answers. He said that's why he wasn't answering. Howard said JD will either be dead or have abs by Friday. JD said we'll see about that.

  Robin asked if that was the same place. JD said it was a different place. He said this place was like constant elevation. He said it's not that easy. Jon said it was like hiking with an angry bear.

  Howard said he should tell some funny things that Jon did to JD. He said the got in an elevator and someone had a big blow up bear in it. He said that Jon yelled out for JD to take a picture with it. He said it was for Valentine's day. He said that they had a photo shoot with it. He said it was just a picture of JD with the bear and he had no idea why. Howard said when they were hiking and JD could barely breathe Jon said this was his very first hike since his surgery. He said people were egging JD on to keep going. JD said people were clapping for him. Howard said this explained why JD was having such a hard time. Jon said JD kept telling him to shut up.

  Howard said Jon told people that his son died of a snake bite. Jon said it was a PSA for everyone. He said that someone asked about these boots the woman was wearing and he told them to be careful with the snakes. He said that's when he told them that his son had died the day before. Howard said the funny part was when he told them that the insurance money helped him out. He said that he said ''ca-ching'' and that's when people knew he was joking.

  Howard said he thinks there's some clips of Jon doing his thing out there. Howard played some audio of Jon asking JD questions while he was out of breath. He also told people about it being JD's first hike since the surgery on his leg.

  Howard said JD should be careful working out. He said he sounds really out of breath. JD said he just keeps walking when Jon is doing that stuff. He said he just wants to get out of that area.

  Howard asked what this alphabet clip is. Jon said he asked JD to say the alphabet. Howard played that clip. JD was out of breath and recited the alphabet.

  Howard asked if Jon is going to ask JD to propose to him on the plane. Jon said he's going to do it on the loudspeaker. He said he's going to get permission to do it. JD didn't want that to happen. Jon said that he's going to say he just got over a disease that they don't want.

  Howard said JD had fried chicken, fries and a beer after that walk. JD said he didn't eat all of it. Jon said he ate most of the fries. He said he did two hikes in 2 days so that's impressive.

  Howard said when they hired JD he was a skinny little kid. He said now he's a chubby little boy. Howard said Jon was with JD out there and walking down the street and Jon would ask women if they wanted pictures with JD. JD said they knew who he was and he went and asked if the wanted a picture. Jon said the would love that. Jon said you have to be gracious. JD said they did take a picture. Howard said he has to do that sometime. He said if he ever goes out to dinner he has to do that. He said maybe with someone like David Letterman.

  Jon said maybe the can get head shots to give out next time they're in Runyon Canyon.

  Howard said a lot of the fans wrote in about this stuff. He read some feedback about JD's team losing the Super Bowl. People were also asking for video of JD hiking out there. Jon said he has some. Howard said there's a ton of email and it's all the same stuff. He said it's people goofing on JD for the loss or feeling bad for him.

  Howard said the listener liked the story about JD getting stopped in the book store with porn in his backpack. Howard read through some of that.

  Howard said Sal and Richard used to send Eric the Actor porn. He said he has a clip of that too. He played that clip where Eric was on the phone talking about the gay porn the guys would send him. Eric would throw it all out and his roommate would be the one throwing it away. Howard found out that he'd put it in a dumpster other than the one they used. Howard let Jon and JD go after that.

• Howard Takes Some Calls. 02/15/22. 7:50am
  Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to see that picture of Beth. Howard said he should. He said he can blur the nip out if he has to. He said he'd like to see it though. Howard said he doesn't like it when they blur out the nip in DailyMail. He said he likes to see that stuff.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he votes that they give the photo to Ronnie to post on Twitter. He said she doesn't seem to mind.

  Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she is okay with it but she would keep it private. She said keep it personal and private. Howard said she's making sense. Mariann said that it'll lead to people being negative. Robin said she's making a good point. Howard said Ronnie has already posted a bunch of pictures this morning. He said he's a busy boy. Ronnie said it's Titty Tuesday. Mariann said she saw the stuff he gave Stephanie. She said something about a necklace she got and Ronnie thought she said it was a porn necklace. She said it's ''paw'' and not porn.

  Mariann said that she wants to know what's going on with Bobo. Howard said it's so boring and he doesn't care about it. He said he thinks he's keeping Beth's picture private. He said he juts wanted women who rejected him to see it. He said he can laugh at them now. He said that he wonders if there's any women out there who care. He said he wants to think there's at least one.

  Ronnie said he would not post that picture. He said that shell catch some shit no matter what. He said it could be the greatest picture ever and you get these assholes calling her names. He said they pick out every imperfection even if there isn't one. Howard said there's not one. Howard showed it to Ronnie and asked if he sees any imperfections. Robin said people pick on Emily Ratajkowski. Howard said he thinks it's perfect. Ronnie said they will pick on something. He said there's always the assholes out there like Apples. He said they want to destroy your life and they don't want you to be happy. Howard said he won't post it then.

• Kanye West And Pete Davidson Story Updates. 02/15/22. 7:55am
  Howard said he's following this Kanye West and Pete Davidson story. He said it's fascinating to see a guy melt down. He said Kanye was married to Kim Kardashian and they have some kids together. He said that Kanye is having a meltdown over this Pete Davidson thing. He said that he's going nuts. He said he's acting as wacky as Britney Spears but no one is making him have a conservator.

  Howard said he has to recap this whole thing. He said that Kanye has been going off on Kim for letting their daughter go on TikTok but then he posted pictures of her on his own Instagram. He said that Kanye is referring to Pete as ''Skeet'' on his Instagram. He said that's supposed to be an insult. He said Kanye put out a song where he sang about Saturday Night Live and saying something about Pete. He said he doesn't get it. He said that Pete texted Kanye privately and asked to meet his children. He said he's asking respectfully to meet them and he's not interested in parenting them. He said Kanye wrote back that he will never meet his children. He said there's a rumor that Kanye is spreading a rumor that Pete has AIDS.

  Howard said if you want your woman back you have to stop acting so desperate. He said he heard that he sent her thousands of roses. He said he thinks he sent too much stuff. He said he went overboard. Jason said here was something about him sending a truck load of roses to her. Howard said he knows you don't do that. He said if the woman doesn't want you then stop it.

  Jason said the desperation is a real turn off. He said he stuck with him through a lot of stuff but this is just too much. Howard said the guy is destroying himself.

  Howard read more about what Kanye and Kim have been writing to each other. Kanye is posting it all apparently. Howard said now Kanye won't put Kid Cudi on his album because he's friendly with Pete. He said Kanye keeps posting bad Photoshop pictures of Pete. He said that Kanye wanted Michael Che to make fun of Pete on Saturday Night Live but he wont do that.

  Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Pete Davidson who was there to give an update on this situation. Howard asked him some questions and Pee was keeping his answers simple and short like he was doing a bit on Saturday Night Live.

  Howard answered another knock at the door and that was fake Kanye West. Fake Kanye went off on Pete. Howard let the two of them do their bit for a couple of minutes.

  Howard said Pete does seem like he's trying to be more mature about this. He said that he's saying he's a fan of his. He said his name is Ye now so he should call him that. Fake Kanye and Pete went on and on with this humorless bit. (I apologize for giving my opinion in this segment but this bit was really weak.)

  Howard said he would like to be the man to help them figure this out. He told Kanye that he's really not a bad dude. Kanye and Pete kept going with jabs at each other. Fake Pete seemed to lose his impression around this point. Howard let the bit go on and on.

  Howard said what they're going to do is settle this. He said he's going to have a competition here. He said Kanye is doing too much and trying too hard. He said he's going to let both of them woo Robin and see what happens. Howard said Robin will pick the hottest guy after that. He let fake Kanye and Pete pitch Robin what they would do to get her attention. Kanye went way overboard. Pete just said he just farted and has to open the window. He told Robin that the can make mac and cheese and play Call of Duty in his mom's basement. Robin said that she's not really turned on to any of this but she thinks she would go out with Kanye. Fake Kanye sounded happy with that decision.

  Howard said he thought he could straighten it out with these two but he was wrong. He said he guesses there won't be any solution to this. The two kept going with the insults. Pete said he thinks he wants to date Kanye now. He asked if he can watch him have sex with Robin.

  Howard let the boys go after that. He closed the door on them. Howard said it's very upsetting when he can't bring people together. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.

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• Guitar Distortion Explained. 02/15/22. 8:25am
  After the break they played a bit where JD talked about Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly's sex life, a song parody about Benjy getting fat and Metallica's ''Wherever I May Roam.''

  Howard came back and sang along with Metallica a bit. He said they told him they use an electric sitar in this song. He said they have some interesting techniques in their music. He said he loves those pedals they use for their guitars. He said if he was in a band he'd be using them all the time.

  Howard said Dave and Taylor are coming in and last time Dave was on he was talking about Kurt Cobain's pedals. He said he told him he knew some shit would be going down if he saw his foot going for that pedal. He played a clip from that interview where Dave talked about that.

  Howard said the guys were telling him it's not all about distortion. He said some are distortion pedals though. He said it's like that Heart Shaped Box song. He said that's got distortion in it. He played some of the song to demonstrate the distortion. Howard said he'd be using that all the time. He said he'd always be distorted. He said chicks dig it.

  Howard said that distortion has been around a long time. He said Chuck Berry used to use it but he was doing it with the amp. He said in 1958 Link Wray came out with the song Rumble. He had distortion but he stabbed his amp to get it. He said that's how he got that sound. He played some of that song. Howard said that song was banned from radio and it didn't even have lyrics.

  Howard read about the Kinks using distortion in a song. He said they got that when the Davies brothers fought and broke their amp. He said that's how they got that sound. Howard said both brothers take credit for stabbing the amp.

  Howard said the first guitar pedal was inspired by the song ''Don't Worry'' by Marty Robbins. He said they wanted to keep this sound in the song and they had to figure out how to do it. He said the first pedal was built in 1962. He played some of that song.

  Howard said then the Stones used that pedal on ''Satisfaction'' and then it was a big hit. He had some details about that song and how Keith Richards wanted it to sound. He said he wanted horns to start the song off and Keith demonstrated it with the Fuzztone pedal. He said they told him to just use that instead of using horns.

  Howard said then it took off from that. He said that's the history of the distortion pedal. Howard asked if you can imagine the great riffs if they didn't have a distortion pedal. He played some examples of what that would have sounded like.

  Howard said he'd use that pedal if he was in a band. He played a bunch of the big riffs that they had played without the distortion on them. Howard said there you go. He said no one cares anyway.

• Ivan Reitman Discussions. 02/15/22. 8:35am
  Howard said he got some feedback from the fans. He read some mail about the Ivan Reitman news. He said Ivan was the Executive Producer of Private Parts and that made him so proud. He said he really took that news hard. He said Ivan died quietly in his sleep. He said it just seems odd. He said he has been thinking more about Ivan. He said he saw him in a vision and he saw him laughing at him over that Beth picture. Robin said he's sounding like Sal now. Howard said he knows the difference. He said the man was a genius. He said Steven Spielberg is a genius. He said he knows how to tell a story. He said he's taking nothing away from him but Ivan made some of the greatest comedies of all time. He said it's harder to get laughs on film than it is to do a drama. He said you have to know how to move a movie along to get laughs. He said every bit of the way is as hard as doing a serious movie. He said that Ivan did Ghostbusters and he's not sure if that got any nominations for best director but it should have been. He said he got his due financially but maybe not the recognition he deserved. Howard said Dan Aykroyd wrote some nice things about Ivan. He said he got to see Ivan work in the editing booth and he knows how to build a movie that works. He said Dan said that and he can't agree more.

  Howard said Gary shared a note that Jason Reitman sent him and it was devastating to lose his father. He said that not everyone is devastated to lose their parents but he was. Robin said Ivan was a great guy just to talk to. She said imagine having him as a father. Howard said Jason said that he found a stack of tapes of the Howard Stern Show from years ago. He said he'd listen in the car when he had a long car drive. Howard said he had saved them all these years. Howard said he's so pleased with himself that he called Ivan not more than a month ago. He said he's glad he did that. Robin said he's usually telling them the opposite of that. Howard said he usually doesn't call. He said he thinks he's not sure there's a point but this time he did it.

  Howard said the best advice is that you should do it today if you have those feelings that you should call someone. He said he had a great conversation with Ivan. He said he was going to make plans to see him but that wont happen now. He said he did see him in a vision in his house yesterday though.

  Howard said Ivan really came through for him with his movie. He said that really meant a lot to him. He said he's so honored to have known him and to have had his blessing. He said he appreciated his talents and he told him so many wonderful things. He said he had to thank Ivan for that. He said he was so honored to have that from him. He said he made so many great movies and it really meant a lot to him that he even mentioned his name or even knew who he was. Howard said he helped him out so much with Private Parts. He said it meant more to him than anything.

  Howard said he wasn't able to come up with a script and Ivan was able to do it. He said he had it down in one phone conversation. He said he explained it to him and he wanted to go see the movie. He said within days he had Lenny Blum fly in and help him write the movie. He said it all came together magically. He said his agent thought it was fabulous. He said they were ready to go after that. He said he could have had a disaster on his hands without Ivan.

  Howard said he shut people up when he made that movie. He said that people were ready to goof on it but Ivan helped him and he shut everyone up. He said that Ivan was 75 but that's not that old to him. He said he imagines he could have had another 10 years with his family.

  Howard said Ivan was born in Czechoslovakia and his father was well to do. He said his father moved the family to Canada. He said that he thinks Ivan was 6 when he moved there. He said that Ivan used to say to him that there was one movie he wanted to make. He said he wanted Lenny to write it. He said he wanted to make a serious movie about his parents. He said he wanted it to be a serious movie. Howard said Lenny was writing the movie but he's not sure what ever happened to it. He said he didn't mention it last time he talked to him. He said he used to talk about it all the time.

  Howard read more feedback about Ivan and what he said on the show yesterday. He had people who were upset to hear the news. Howard said he told the story yesterday about how things came about. Robin said that he confronted her in the halls at the radio station about making the movie. She said that he asked if she was ready. Howard said they had millions of dollars in that movie. He said there was a scene where he was adlibbing and Ivan told him he had to stick to the script and know the lines. He said he was going to ad lib his lines but Ivan told him not to.

  Howard said he wasn't sure he was ready for this. He said when you see the finished film you see it worked out.

  Howard said Ivan did the History of Howard Stern and downplayed all of that. He played a clip from that special where Ivan talked about what he told him about relaxing on set.

  Howard said it was scary for him. He said he caught on and he loved it. He said he got the acting bug. He said he was in his groove and ready to reshoot the movie all over again.

  Howard took a call from Ralph who had a list of his top 5 Ivan movies. Ralph asked what he learned from Meryl Streep. Howard said he saw an interview she did where she talked about acting. Howard said she had some good advice. Howard said he first watched that interview with Michael Caine. He said that he would pick movies based on the weather. Howard did his impression of him talking about all of that. He said he also said that you don't blink in a scene. He said that he had all of that and then he had Ivan on him about stuff. He said he saw this Meryl Streep interview and it just clicked with him. He said the Michael Caine thing threw him off but the Meryl Streep thing got him back on track.

  Ralph said Robin did really good in that movie too. Howard said concentrate on him and forget Robin. Howard played some audio of Michael Caine talking about the no blinking thing. Howard said forget about everything else he has to concentrate on not blinking.

  Howard had Ralph give his list of favorite Ivan movies. Ralph said Stripes, Ghostbusters and don't forget about Twins. He said that was a great one too. Howard said that was great. He said he forgot about that too. Ralph said also the movie ''Dave.'' He said he loved that. He said it's so different from everything else he did. He said he was so great it's such a shame. Howard said They have Triplets in production and Ivan won't be able to direct. Howard said it might be Eddie Murphy who is supposed to play a brother.

  Howard let Ralph go and said rest in peace Ivan. He said his legacy will go on. He said after he and Beth had sex last night he was talking about Ivan being gone. He said all of that talent is gone. Howard said it was Tracy Morgan who was supposed to play the brother. He said that's too funny. He said he's not sure what will happen with that movie now. Ralph said maybe Jason will direct it. He said he's a great director too.

  Howard took a call from a woman who said she's so sorry to hear about Ivan. She asked how he's gone and Harvey Weinstein is still alive. Howard said he asked that same question himself. He said God did not answer him though. He went to break a short time later.

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• Dave Grohl And Taylor Hawkins Visit. 02/15/22. 9:10am
  After the break they played a Cooking with Tan Mom bit, a phony phone call the guys made to a sports radio show using clips of Richard's dad talking about the Royals and Beastie Boys ''Sabotage.''

  Howard came back and said he loves the Foo Fighters. He said that they have done something innovative once again. Howard asked if they can hear him. They weren't hearing him. Dave and Taylor were there but not hearing what he was saying. Howard said he wants them to keep talking.

  Howard said he went and threw to them and they didn't have their headphones on or whatever. He said it was interesting hearing them talking about music. Dave said they spent the last 26 years together talking about bullshit. He said now they're talking about who had the most solo hits after The Eagles. Dave went with Don Henley. Howard asked Taylor about being friendly with Don and asking him for help on his solo album. Taylor said Don said no to that. He said he'll send him clips and he'll send him what's wrong with the songs. He said he would love to do something with him because he is a hero.

  Howard asked who is the better drummer, Don or Dave. Taylor said Dave. Dave asked why he always does that. Howard asked what the problem is. Taylor said Don is a better Eagles drummer than Dave. He said that he may not have fit in with the Foo Fighters.

  Howard asked how it goes when they're sitting there and come up with that conversation. He said they had never discussed that subject before. He asked how it came about. They said they don't know. Taylor said he thinks it came up when he started singing ''You Belong to the City'' and then they started talking about that stuff.

  Howard asked why they were saying they have to call Trent Reznor. Taylor said they were talking about that song ''Dirty Laundry'' and how part of it would fit into a Nine Inch Nails song.

  Howard asked if they can ever turn that off. He said he has wanted to turn off the radio stuff in his had but he can't do it. He asked if they can turn off music in their heads. Dave said it's hard. He said for him he has weird ticks where he plays drums with his teeth and humming all day long. He said he's always listening to music. He said his poor kids. Taylor said he's the same way. He said he's always thinking about music. Howard said he always has music in his head too but it must be at a different level for them. He said they have to have this stuff in their heads all the time. He said it never turns off. Taylor said whenever someone says their kid wants to play drums or guitar you can tell when they'll be good because they're obsessed with it. He said it's fucked up. Howard said some guys never have success. He said they've seen plenty of that. Dave said they're relentless and never stop. He said they also like each other so that helps.

  Howard asked if they know Trent Reznor well because that guy seems like the ultimate musician. He said he was the band. He said now he's doing movie scores and stuff. Dave said he's a bad ass. He said he's worked with him before. He said he got to see him work in the studio. He said he's a master of what he does. He said he is very responsible for what Nine Inch Nails has done. He can engineer his own stuff too.

  Howard said he seemed like a scary dude to him. He said he's just a normal guy though. Dave said he thinks it's like a side to him. He said he met him in the early 90s and he was in a dark place so he thinks that's part of him. He said that he hadn't seen him in years and he was asked to play drums for a new Nine Inch Nails album and Trent had gotten healthy and happy and he was hugging him when he saw him. He said it turned out fucking great too. He said he thinks he's doing really great.

  Howard said what an honor to play on that album. Dave said it was huge for him. He told Howard how that came about and how he had worked with Trent in the past.

  Howard said there's always a financial consideration there. He asked if he doesn't worry about it or does he ask for a fee or something. Dave said that you don't go in there with a contract. He said you just go in and rock out and see what happens. Howard asked if he gets a check for the day or does he have a rate worked out. Dave said that was the only time he ever asked to be paid. He said he has done other stuff and never asked to be paid. He said this was the only time. He said he got union scale for the Queens of the Stone Age stuff. He said he just does it for fun.

  Howard asked if he manager ever asks him to stop doing that. Dave said yes. Howard said he said to Trent that he wants to get paid. Dave said not at first. He said that he walked in and couldn't believe that he got to play on a Nine Inch Nails album. He said that was huge to him and that's more than getting paid. Howard said that sounds so romantic to be able to go in and create something with Trent. He said it's so fucking awesome. Dave said musicians are like that. He said you call someone and have them just come over and jam with you.

  Dave mentioned the band The Tubes and Fee Waybill. Howard said that was some band. Dave said he was in a thrift store once and he met Fee there. He said that he had to call Richard Marx because he's like the godfather to his kid or something and now he's friends with Richard.

  Howard said he always through the driving force with Nirvana was that they were the anti group but they have a genuine respect for these people. Howard asked if you ever say that's shit music. Dave said he says it all the time but he separates that from the person. He said he never assumes people like Foo Fighters. He said that he thinks there's something wrong with a friend if they like the band.

  Howard said he never responded to a couple of bands like Steely Dan. He said that he can't deal with it. He said he can't deal with Rush. He said he didn't like it. Dave said there's some stuff he loves to hate. He said he will listen to some stuff 10,000 times if he hates it. Howard asked what he loves to hate. Dave said he didn't like the Eagles until he found out that they hated each other. Taylor said he listened to them in the car with his mom so he heard the Eagles a lot. He said he didn't hate them at all. He said it might be a west coast thing like Dave said.

  Howard asked if they like new music. Dave said there's some new stuff he's into. He said he likes Beck a lot. He said he's smart and quirky. He said he's a great song writer too. He said he's a good friend too. Howard asked why he and Beck don't get together and jam. Dave said they have. Taylor asked if he's trying to break them up or something. Dave said they will get together and just go for it in someone's living room. Howard asked if he ever asks to work together. Dave said sometimes they might. He said who knows. He said its one of those things. He said they have done things for school fund raisers and things like that. He said they did stuff that turned out rad. He said they do it for fun.

  Howard asked what he makes of Taylor's move to NHC. Dave said it's awesome. Howard said Taylor wants to be a front man. Taylor said not really. Howard said he must see Dave getting the attention and he needs that. Dave said he needs it. He said if you've seen them perform in the past 5 years you see Taylor do a queen song and he kills it. He said he loves that. Taylor said he sees side projects as a vacation home. He said home is the Foo Fighters. He said it's so easy to put music out now that they can do it and just put it out there.

  Howard said he just worries about the band dynamic. Dave said that they're like Don Henley and Glenn Frey. He said they'll be talking about them in the future and who had the most hits.

  Howard said they were talking about how they were going to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and they had Paul McCartney induct them. He said that you can't get anyone better. Dave said they were going to ask Howard but he hated doing it for Bon Jovi so much. Howard said he hated going to Cleveland. He said they were inducted there too. He asked how it came about to get Paul to do it. Howard asked if they called Paul and asked him to do it. Dave said they didn't call personally. He said they know him though. He said he's a really sweet guy. He said he agreed to do it but they didn't do it personally.

  Howard asked if they told him what to say or what. Dave said not at all. They let him do his own thing. Taylor said it was great the way he compared the Foo Fighters to Wings from the Beatles. Taylor said he has thought of them as the Wings of Grunge. Howard said that was a good line. Taylor said that not everyone gets a second shot like Dave got. Howard said he's said that to Dave before. He said that you don't get that second shot. He said Nirvana was so big. He said that Paul was right and it was a good speech. He said Paul said they both left those bands and created something new. Dave said he never thought about that stuff. Taylor said he did.

  Howard said they say this because it's so rarely done. He said he was one of the only ones who thought that he would have a second chance.

  Howard played some Foo Fighters ''Everlong'' and said this is beautiful. He said he got the chill. He said that song come on. He played ''My Hero'' and some ''Monkey Wrench'' and ''Times like These.'' Howard played some ''Best of You'' and other songs. He said that's all fabulous. Taylor said it's like a K-Tel commercial. He said that you get all of those songs on one CD. Howard asked what happened to those commercials.

  Howard said he has to compliment them. He said that the Beatles were great with their albums and they would come out and girls would start screaming. Howard said that he's not sure that the girls won't be screaming at this new film they made. Dave said they'll be screaming for their money back.

  Howard said the Monkees did their own TV show and it was a fun concept. He said bands don't do this kind of thing anymore. He said the guys have done it. He said that he has to talk to the guys about why they won't wear those ear pieces when they go on stage. He said Dave has said that he won't wear in ear monitors. He said that his hearing is so fucked up already that he feels like it's robots talking. Dave said it's not that bad. He said he has tinnitus and he knows that's what the doctors will tell him. He said he used ear monitors before and it removes you from the natural atmosphere of sound. He said when he's on stage he wants to hear everything happening. He said it messes with your special understanding. He said he's had the same monitor guy for 31 years. He said it's been perfect for him since Nirvana. He said it sounds great and he just doesn't like the in ear things. He said that his ear holes are small too so he doesn't want that in his ears.

  Howard said if they tell you the music is too loud up there you have to be able to hear. He said he's willing to risk it all for rock and roll. He said he rides his headphones so hot that i would rock you. He said he has to hear it loud so he gets it. He said you know you're fucking yourself up but you have to do it. Dave said he can still hear things in the studio so he's still tuned into that. He said he can't hear people talking very well at dinner. He said he has been reading lips for like 20 years so this pandemic has been bad for him.

  Howard asked where they're at with the pandemic. Howard said it seemed like it was weird when they talked and they were in the studio a couple of years back. He said they're back out on tour now. He said that no one is wearing masks at the Super Bowl. Howard asked where they're at. Taylor said they got tested yesterday. Dave said they have a pretty strict way of doing all of these things. He said at the studio they have a crew on tour and they have to do what they do and ensure that they're safe. He said they try to take care of each other. He said they're trying to make it work. He said they toured last year and it worked. He said they're going to keep doing that as long as they can do it safely.

  Howard asked if they can believe that this is the world we live in. Taylor said that each wave seems to get less terrifying. He said that some people are letting up more than others. He said he thinks that they're still following the protocols they need to. He said they want to stay on the road and not stop. He said that would be a bummer. He said they have to kind of sequester themselves on the road. Howard said it must be hard to be in that business.

  Howard asked what this VR concert was they did after the Super Bowl. He said that it's just a concert you can watch on this thing. Dave said it was on this Oculus thing and they filmed it on a set with a genius director. He said he was such a bad ass. He said he got the Oculus thing and played some game in his living room. He said he felt like he was on mushrooms or something. He said it was great.

  Howard asked Dave about being dumped at his senior homecoming dance. He said it was on a boat and he got dumped by this girl. He said after she dumped him he was stuck on the boat the rest of the night. Dave said that he had fallen for this girl he knew in Virginia and she was from a really good family. He said she was a bad ass. He said he was just a scrubby dork from Springfield, Virginia. He said that they had this homecoming dance that was on a boat and the ride was like an hour and a half. He said he didn't know anyone at the dance because it was the girl's school. He said she broke up with him halfway through the trip and he got stuck on there and it sucked. He said that he didn't know anyone so he was just hanging out. He said he thinks in his mind he was hanging over the said of the boat wanting to jump in or throw up. He said he was living a John Hughes movie in his life.

  Howard said what a horrible thing for a girl to do to a young boy. He said she could have done it before. Howard asked if he's had his revenge on her. Dave said he knows her and he's still best friends with her. He said they've known each other since they were like 15 or 16. He said they're still great friends. Howard said that's not right.

  Howard said he loved Dave's book. He asked if it did well. Dave said it did. He said he was happy with it. Howard said he felt like he got to know his origin story and it was a good book. Dave said people did read it. He said he didn't know how to write a book. He said the book company was awesome and it did really well. He said he wants to do it again. Howard said the audio book is nominated for an audio book award. He asked if he'll beat Barrack Obama. Dave said he doesn't think he will be he'd like to.

  Howard said he saw the Alanis Morissette documentary and he's not sure why she was upset about it. He said that's what they reported in the news. He said all Taylor said was that it was a debaucherous tour he was on with her and she got upset about it. Taylor said he thinks she was more upset about her story and the stuff that happened before he met her. He said he thought it was going to be worse. Taylor said he texted her and said he thinks they'll be okay. He said he wasn't that upset about it. He said he took his wife to see it and they were blown away by her voice.

  Howard asked if they had sex with their wives on Valentine's day. Dave said they did like 100 interviews yesterday so that was their Valentine's day. Taylor said when you have 3 kids there's just one day you have for that kind of thing. Howard said he actually had sex on Valentine's day.

  Howard said this movie they did is called Studio 666. He said that when Dave talks about the weird shit that's happened in his life he's not sure he believes it. Taylor laughed and said it's like here he goes again. Howard said when he watched the movie he figured it was Dave who came up with it. He said that Dave once went to a psychic and the psychic told him that he has been aboard an alien ship. He said Dave believes that. Taylor said they try not to talk too much about it. He said that there will be a day when Dave can talk about it some day. Howard said he knows Dave believes it. Dave said he's not a UFO freak or something. He said that he doesn't go to friends houses and tell them that a UFO has landed in their yard. He said he doesn't not believe in that stuff though. He said as far as ghosts and shit he has only lived in one house that was creepy and haunted. He said that was it. He said it was a nice fucking house. He said he stayed there.

  Howard said he was at the point when he'd tell the ghosts he was coming into the room. Dave said he did that. He said he was talking to nobody in his basement.

  Howard said the movie is in keeping with that. He said Dave has said that where you record an album matters. He said Dave really believes that. He said it takes on a flavor of that home or recoding studio. Dave said he does believe that. He said it determine the sound or outcome of what you're doing. Howard said he says when they recorded their last album they got a weird place that was haunted or something. Dave said that was a lie but they did say that. Taylor said they said that because they thought the movie and album were going to come out at the same time. Dave said a few years ago he got a text from a friend who said they had someone who wanted to make a horror movie with the band. He said he thought that was crazy. He said he was looking for some place to record an album at the time so he had this house in mind. He said a friend was selling this house so they started demoing stuff in there. He said he decided to make an album in there and then make some slasher gore film just for fun. He said they had the idea for the movie and he thought it would be fun to do that and make the album. He said the guys were all involved in it and then it took off and turned into a feature length film.

  Howard said here is a risk there when you have a lot of credibility and that can stifle credibility. He said you have to think that if you make a shitty movie then you could end up being the Monkees and the music won't be taken seriously. He said he has to think about that. Dave said absolutely not. He said just take a look at the videos they've made over the past 25 years. He said if any band was going to do this it was them. He said they take things seriously when they do albums and go on tour. He said anything outside of that they don't think that much about. He said why not do it. Howard said they had the right attitude for that. He said they didn't take themselves too seriously.

  Howard said when Dave kills Taylor in the movie, and that's not a spoiler, he loves the way he's killed. He said he loves that he's killed with drums and he loves that his head is split in half. Dave said that was Taylor's idea. Taylor said they had a very elaborate way of killing him in the script. He said it sounded like too long of a day for him. He said he's lazy when it comes to making movies so he told them to just throw a cymbal at his head and cut his head in half. Howard said the special effects are great too. He said he liked it.

  Howard said Taylor must not want to stick to the script. Taylor said he didn't. He said it's like not doing your homework when you just ad-lib everything. Howard told Taylor about how he got into his movie with Ivan Reitman helping him out.

  Dave said they call their acting ''meth-head'' acting instead of method acting.

  Howard asked if the guys hate Pearl Jam or something. Dave said not at all. Howard asked why they do the Pearl Jam high five thing. Dave said it's just a reference to the high five the do on their album cover for Ten. Howard said that's like goofing on them though. He said he thought the had an issue with the band. Dave said they rarely high five. He said he always hits the wrong side of the hand. Howard said you think about nerds doing that kind of thing. He said if you do that then you're not getting laid. He said he thought they had an issue with the band. Dave and Taylor said not at all. Howard said he thinks that Eddie Vedder is going to wonder what's going on there. Taylor said Eddie knows they love him and he's going to laugh.

  Howard said one of his favorite scenes in the movie is with this roadie guy Croge. He said the guy gets electrocuted and he loves how his head shows up in the barbecue. He said he as laughing about that. He asked if he's an actor or what. Dave said that guy is in the band Slayer. He said they have Lionel Ritchie and a guy from Slayer in the movie.

  Howard said Studio 666 has many famous people in it. He said Whitney Cummings has a good death scene. He said he might have to save that one. Dave said he should save that. Howard said the movie opens on February 25th.

  Howard asked why they didn't put any of their songs from the album in the movie. He said he thought that was part of the deal. Dave said originally they were going to come out at the same time. He said that's why they were telling people that the heard voices and said that house was haunted. He said they were going to drop the film at the same time. He said then the pandemic fucked everything up. He said the premise of the movie was that he had writer's block and he found a creepy basement and he finds a tape from a band that recoded there. He said if the song is recorded and completed then the demon is released in the house. He said it's more about this one song. Howard said the movie is like 45 minutes long. He said it's called March of the Insane. Dave said it's actually some Latin name. He said March of the Insane song is the song that the band recorded 25 years ago and they were murdered by their lead singer. He said he becomes possessed by that guy in the movie. He said this is the record that they were making 25 years ago.

  Howard played some of the song from the movie. Howard said this is them then. Dave said that's the band from 25 years ago. Howard said Fred just sacrificed a goat hearing that. Robin wondered if this is anything like what it's recoding an album with Dave. Dave said it's kind of like that but he just doesn't kill and eat them.

  Howard said we want everyone to go see the movie. He said we know it's difficult to make a movie. He asked if it cost a lot to make. Dave said they paid for the whole thing at first. He said they wanted to keep it a secret. He said they eventually sold it. He said it wasn't cheap. He said by movie standards it's kind of low budget. He said it wasn't hundreds of millions. Howard said they have a lot of cool effects in there. He said you can't skimp on that. Dave said the guy who did it was Tony Gardner who has worked on videos with them. He said they did that 'Run' video with him. He said he's an old school special effects guy. He said he's a super bad ass. He said he came up with all the kills. He said that guy came up with the really crazy ideas for kills. He said BJ the director has worked with them before too. He said it's a crew of people that they have worked with.

  Howard asked if they were told they were nuts for putting up their own money. Dave said his manager did. He said they were doing this before the pandemic though so they weren't even thinking about money. He said they were going to just make it up with a tour.

  Howard said when he was watching it he was wishing that the Beatles had done something like this. He said he applauds them for putting up their own money. He congratulated them on the film. He asked if they think more bands will do this now. He said he thinks they will. Dave said he thinks that it would be great if other bands did the same thing and did Studio 667 and 668. He said he's not sure who would do it. He said they think about that though. Dave said they could do all kinds of things with other bands.

  Howard asked if they saved anything from the film. Dave said he has a bunch of the stuff.

  Howard said he believes the guys have hit into something. He said he believes there will be other bands that will do this. He said how about Neil Young vs. David Crosby and a bunch of zombies. He said how about this. He said Chucky meets Fleetwood Mac. He said come on. He said how about Pearl Jam kills Hitler and then the band high fives. He said the could have Godzilla vs. Tony Bennett.

  Howard said he thought it was very magnanimous of Taylor lobbying for some other people to be in the hall of fame. He said he was lobbying for George Michael, Soundgarden and Jane's Addiction. Taylor said Jane's addiction and Soundgarden were new bands making great rock music and it was a big deal at the time. Howard said it was a big deal. He said he's absolutely right about that. Taylor said it was getting gutsy and interesting again. He said it wasn't just about partying. He said he thinks George Michael has the best voice of all time. Howard said how about Jethro Tull before George Michael. Taylor said he didn't know they weren't in. Howard and Taylor went over some other bands they think should be in.

  Howard asked how Dave's voice doesn't blow out. Dave said he has no idea. He said he must be predisposed to screaming every day. He said some days he gets on stage and he's rough but he screams it into shape. He said he's not going out there doing what he used to but it just does what it does. He said he's not singing opera either. Howard said he has a beautiful voice and he must know that. He said he thinks the secret is that he doesn't worry about it. Dave said doctors have told him to just keep doing what he's doing.

  Howard gave them some more plugs for the movie and said they're starting a new movement. He said he thinks there will be more rock and roll bands doing the same thing. He said he believes this is an innovation. He said he likes seeing bands doing something new and exciting. He said go see it and hear Dave and Taylor on Foo Fighters radio on channel 105. He said go see the film. He told Dave and Taylor he loves seeing them. He said he wished them the best. He said don't become like other movie stars and don't let it go to their heads. Dave said he doesn't think that will happen. Howard asked him to please say his name when he wins and Oscar. Howard told the guys to have a great day. He let them go after that.

  Howard said that was a lot of fun. He said they're always good to talk to. He said he had to make a light and farcical movie and he never got to do it. Robin said it's great seeing them hanging out talking in the movie. Robin said then things get crazy. She said there's a lot of blood in the movie. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:30am.

• Howard Can't Quit Working. 02/16/22. 7:00am
  Howard started the show talking about how right outside his studio he has the big Rob Zombie painting he got. He said it would be really interesting. He said Rob writes all over the painting. He said he has John and Yoko naked in it and he writes on that. He said he has lyrics to a John Lennon song on it. He said some of the things he writes he's not sure if he knows the reference. He said it's almost a trivia exam. He said Robin might be able to help with that. He said Robin is very into what the kids are into. They both laughed.

  Howard said he had a busy day yesterday. He said he was getting some work done in his office and his computer got unplugged. He said that caused issues for a couple of hours. He said his mother is still an issue. He said he wants to say she's better but she's really just the same. He said she used to describe her pain as a 10 and now it's down to a 7 and she still wants to die. He said it doesn't make a difference. He said she can't die so she has to say alive. He said she asks what she's doing here.

  Howard said he realized that his life has been about his mother's misery. Robin said that he can understand her complaints and he was the only one there to listen to her growing up. Howard said he would sit at home listening to her while his sister was at college. Howard said she wants to go to hospice but that's not where she belongs. He said she wants to live for years at the hospital. He said it's costing him a lot. He said he has a person to help them out and he set up their apartment. He said he has to get a full time nurse too. He said he can't quit working. He said he has to support everyone. He said he didn't see this coming.

  Howard said back in the cave days if you didn't get eaten then you just died from something else. He said he's stuck in this loop now. He said he's not sure what's going to happen now. He said he's pretty drained emotionally and physically now. Robin said it's tough not to be able to do something for her. She said if he could do something then they'd both be happy. Howard said she has some great doctors. He said she has a couple of new ones on top of the ones she's seen before. He said she has a whole team.

  Howard said his mom collects doctors like baseball cards. He said his mother would complain about old people when he was a boy. He did an impression of her talking about them and how they were at the doctor all day. He had his father agreeing with her on that stuff.

  Howard said his mother has a bigger medical team than President Biden right now. Robin said she's the most important person in the world right now. Howard said he doesn't think the queen gets this kind of treatment. He said his mother complains about people not coming in to see her. He said she has 57 people there. He said they can't be there every second. Robin said that could be what that's all about.

  Howard said he has a psychiatrist for her too. He said they say it's all about depression. Robin said maybe she wasn't getting the attention she wanted and now she is. Howard said yeah. He said maybe that's it. He said he's thought it all through and he hates to see her in pain. He said it's very draining. He said he thinks he can fix everything but he really can't. Robin said he can't even plug in his computer. Howard said she's right.

  Howard said he has to tell Robin that this is an awesome preview of things to come. He said if he's lucky to live a long life he's thinking this is what he'll be like. He said maybe in your 80s is a good time to say goodbye. He said it's weird because most people his age don't have their parents at all. He said the thing he's learned is that the big prize to live long is pain and sadness. He said his dad still has his marbles but he's not able to communicate very well. He said his mom hasn't been there a while and he does ask where she is. He said living after 80 is like staying out after 2am, nothing good happens. Robin said that's not true. She said she had a friend whose mother died but she had a friend over 100 and she still visits her. Howard said here are people who live over 100 and do just fine. He said Mel Brooks is up there and doing fine. Robin said Betty White was out a few days before she died and she almost made it to 100. Howard said she's right. Howard said he told Beth that when he starts shitting his pants she can push him in front of a bus.

• Calls And Fan Feedback. 02/16/22. 7:15am
  Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been an inspiration for him for a long time. He said he was thinking about porn and if he watches it with glasses on. He said when his are off it's not as good. Howard said of course he does. He said he watches it on his iPhone and he has to balance it on the porcelain on his urinal. He said he has to put tissues over the camera so no one can spy on him. He said he has to have his glasses on so he can see everything. He said he has to have a build up to sex. He said he doesn't like to have straight sex.

  The caller said he jerks off every day and he has his jizz land on his feet. Howard asked why not have tissues. He said he doesn't want that shit on his feet. He asked what's wrong with him. The caller said Howard puts too much work into it. He said he just gets to it.

  Howard said that's enough of that. He let the caller go. Robin said she has to get him a thing to hold his phone so he doesn't have to balance it on his toilet. Howard said imagine Beth sees that. He said he doesn't want that.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he doesn't deserve a woman like that. He called him a big pussy. Howard asked why that is. The caller said he didn't make love to his wife after she sent that picture to him. Howard said he did though. The caller said he should have done it immediately. Howard said thanks for the call and let him go. Howard said he did have sex with his wife. He said people wrote in asking him to post the picture she sent him of her in panties and bra. He said it's a spectacular picture. He said he didn't post it and the fans are pissed.

  Howard said Beth didn't care about him posting it but he felt like it was extra sexy. He said for him it was hard core sexy. He read Robin some of the feedback they got about that. He had a lot of people telling him to just post the picture and turn off the comments. Howard said he could have done that.

  Howard said King of All Blacks left a weird message about that. He said he's happy he didn't post it but then he's angry at Beth for telling him it was okay to post it. He said he's confusing. Howard played the message and King said she's basically saying that she likes other men looking at her. He said you know what men are going to do with that picture. He said don't post it and Beth should have said that too. Howard said he's always so off. He said she used to do FHM and magazines like that. He said he doesn't care if other men look at it. He said he didn't want to post it and he's not even sure why. He said he didn't have a problem with it until he took calls from people who were telling him not to. He said it's like Emily Ratajkowski who is gorgeous and people still say she's ugly. He said these guys comment on her and he'd like to know who they're fucking. He said then JD told him not to post it.

  Howard said even women tell her that she's too thin and she should eat something. He said there's a lot of commentary so he didn't want to post it. Robin said she's not sure what century King lives in. She said he has a lot of backward thoughts.

• The Bachelor Is A Weirdo. 02/16/22. 7:25am
  Howard said he has to say some things about The Bachelor. He said this guy is such a weirdo. He said the guy seems a little bit awkward. He said he's not sure why women are all over him. Robin said the TV company is providing everything for them and the don't know that it's not like real life. Howard said the guy took a girl on a helicopter ride and the girl was thanking him for it. He said she doesn't know that he can't afford that in real life. He said the girls are so into it that they buy into the whole thing. He said the producers plan it for them and he should tell them that.

  Howard said the reality is that the guy is going to pick her and they are going Dutch on their dates. He said he'll have to get a ride from her Uber account.

  Howard said this guy went on a date with this girl and it was so embarrassing. He said he can't believe he watches this show. He said this girl was saying ''like'' over and over. He said you have to hear this. He said the clip is 1 minute and 13 seconds and they say like at least 20 times. He played the clip for Robin and here were a lot of ''likes'' in there.

  Howard said he counted 23. Robin said she had 21. Howard said he thinks what she was saying was that it was real before but now it's really real and by real they mean like it's just television before but now it's a real relationship. He said he thinks that girl is like 23 years old. He said the back office counted 28 ''likes'' in that clip. He said it's mind blowing. He said that dude is weird. He said he's going to be doing that ''like'' thing all morning now.

  Howard said this guy meets these girls and then he has to ''step away'' from them. He played a montage of the guy having to step away from them. He said he needs time to talk to himself. Howard said he doesn't even leave to pee on a date. He said he's not going to walk away.

  Howard played more of the clip and the guy had to step away from the women a lot. Howard said he steps away and thinks things through. He said girls will open up to the guy and share their most intimate thoughts. He said it's heavy stuff. He said then he thanks them for sharing that. He said he has nothing to say to them. He said he's licking his lips the whole time and all he wants to do is make out with them. He said it's like the girls at Scores. He said the girls don't normally rub into him but if he has a conversation with them then they might want to rub into him. He said that's when he'll make up a conversation. He said he tries to get into that and get them to rub into him. He said if he listens to them then maybe they'll be more comfortable rubbing into him.

  Howard said he had a real feeling he should make a real connection. He said that's what this guy is doing. He said you know the guy is thinking about making out with them. He said you can tell he's not listening to them. He said they'll say horrible things to him and he thanks them for sharing. He said he's not sure he even heard what they said. He said he'll start making out with them when they have tears in their eyes. Howard played a montage of The Bachelor saying thanks for sharing.

  Howard said when the guy makes out you can hear so many sounds and he's opening his mouth right away. He said it's gross. He played a clip. He said the girls will tell him this awful story and he starts making out right away.

• Peter McIndoe The ''Birds Aren't Real'' Guy Calls In. 02/16/22. 7:35am
  Howard said this guy is on the phone who thinks that birds aren't real. He said his name is Peter. He said he's disgusted with the way the country is going. He said there are a lot of conspiracy theories going on. He said there's a company that had a butterfly sanctuary on the border of Mexico. He said he remembers going with his daughter into this butterfly thing at a museum and it was so much fun. He said this couple had a property on the border and the were going to build the Trump border wall there. He said there was a rumor that this place was used for child molestation and something crazy like that. He said that it got so out of hand that the public started to believe it. He said some women running for office believed it. He said it was just crazy. He said that he has tape of the center being visited and it's so out of hand with the conspiracy theories.

  Howard said America is going to hell in a hand basket. He said people make shit up and you can't tell what's real and what's fake. He played a clip of this woman running for congress who confronted the guy who ran the butterfly place. He said she accused them of child rape. Howard played a clip of this woman confronting the people at the butterfly sanctuary. There was a scuffle there so it was hard to understand. Howard said they had to shut down the sanctuary because of all of this stuff. He said this is the problem with conspiracy theories. He said the people start showing up to these places and cause havoc there. He said it all came about because somebody wanted this wall built. He said this place is the most peaceful place on earth.

  Howard said this guy Peter McIndoe he read about started a movement called ''Birds aren't real.'' He got Peter on the phone and asked how old he is. He said he's 23. Howard said this guy is the creator of the bird aren't real movement. He said it's a theory that the government killed all the birds and replaced them with spy drones. He said he saw a bunch of Trump rallies and he crashed one that said birds aren't real. He said he thought it would be funny to do this. Peter said it was a lot of hateful stuff being said at these rallies. He said he could feel the tension in the air.

  Howard said it got noticed that this guy was there. Peter said it's like holding a mirror up to the lunatics. He said he went in and held up an idea to their ides that's more at their level. He said it's like this butterfly sanctuary thing. He said it shows that it's like a comedy. He said Peter was going up to people telling them these things and they were believing it. Peter said that he has a lot of information that he made up about this. He said if you go on the internet and search for your own facts you can find a lot. He said that people can learn a lot by going on there and doing their research. Howard said he's a smart dude.

  Howard asked if anyone believes this is real. Peter said he's been doing it for like 4 years now. He said he has spent 4 years in character doing this and having conversations with journalists. He said that people considered that movement to be a real thing. He said local media was reporting on it and thought it had been around since 1976. He said it's very easy to get clearly false information out there. Howard said this is what he likes about this. He said it's so easy to get information out there and no one is fact checking. He said he thought it was funny in this clip where this guy Peter threw up when he started begin interviewed. Peter said he wanted to throw up on live TV so he drank some clam chowder. He said he was playing a character who is supposed to be nervous so he did that. He said that worked and he threw up on live TV.

  Howard said this guy can sell Birds Aren't Real merch now. Robin asked how this is helping anything. Howard said he's letting her know. He said it shows how idiotic is all is. He said this guy comes up to him and has his own theories and then Peter throws out his ideas and the other guy realizes how stupid it all is and starts laughing. Howard played a clip of this guy talking to Peter about this stuff.

  Howard said this points out the absurdity of how easy it is to put false information out there. Robin asked who is seeing that though. Peter said during a time of lunacy comedy is more important than ever. He said that it's the post truth era and he's disarming that all and letting people laugh at it. He said it's easy to be overwhelmed by so much of this stuff. Robin asked where his proof is. She said she just hears one theorist talking to another and neither of them are saying it's not true. Howard said someone will see the Birds Aren't Real thing and maybe they'll see through it and think about what their beliefs are. Robin said that's not happening right now. Howard said his movement is working and he's convinced of it.

  Peter said they go to counter protests and they do try to get the word out. He said there was an abortion protest and they went out and had their own. He said they held up the birds aren't real sign next to that protest and that led to them chanting birds aren't real and they chased away the abortion protest people.

  Howard said that's what's great about this. Robin said that's not going to stop the abortion people from protesting. Hard said he loves this. He said he'll never convince Robin of anything.

  Howard asked how people can get his merch. Peter said that he doesn't believe that Robin's name is really Robin and it's some fake name. He said it's pretty suspicious to him. Howard asked where his web site is at. Peter said it's BirdsArentReal.com. He said they're having a rally on March 20th in Los Angeles. He said you can join their army. Howard said keep going and don't listen to Robin. Pater said he never would.

  Howard said he likes this. Robin said no one is being turned because of that. Howard said you don't know that. He said he likes this movement. He said he thinks he has a finger on the pulse of the country even though he hasn't left his house in 3 years.

  Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Alex Jones who had some things to say about this guy Peter. Howard said he just hung up on the guy. Fake Alex went on and on about the birds aren't real guy. Howard spent a little time talking to Alex about his bat shit crazy conspiracy theories.

  Howard said the problem with the world is that we give equal time to sane people and insane people.

  Alex had a Hillary or Hitler game. He had quotes from both and Howard had to guess who said it. He had some crazy quotes that he was attributing to Hillary. Alex did a commercial and wrapped up with Howard. Howard said he has to get his production guy.

  Howard said he has to tell you that he's going to take a break and when he gets back he has to talk about Hollywood Harmeyer. He said he had a celebrity dinner out there in L.A. He said he's out there partying like it's 1999. He said he was out until like 11. He said he has to take a break first. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.

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• Various Stuff. 02/16/22. 8:10am
  After the break they played a song parody about Gary and his phlegm and Tommy James & The Shondells ''Crimson and Clover.''

  Howard came back and said he thought that was Joan Jett for a moment. Robin said that's Tommy James. Howard said that guy was a talented dude. He said he had good songs. Gary told Howard some of his hits. Howard said he did have a bunch. He said he had a lot. He wondered what happened to that guy. Gary said they had him on 7 or 8 years go. Howard said it had to be more than that. Gary said he thinks it was 7 or 8. He said he even sang on the show. Howard said he has no memory of that. He said he's completely drawing a blank on that. Robin said she thinks that Gary dreamt that. Gary said he did not.

  Howard said a couple of years ago he was trying to get a viral thing going and it didn't work. He said he didn't even tell Robin about it. He said he had a picture of himself standing next to Leslie West and he wanted to put something out there showing that he had a big dick. He said he asked them to Photoshop something so it looked like he had a big dick. He said they kind of put the picture out on the web site and he was hoping that it would get picked up. He said no one picked up on it. He said it was at the same time that John Hamm had his photo out where he had a big dick showing in his pants. Howard said no one noticed he had a big cock in this picture. He said not one fan called in or posted it anywhere. He said it went nowhere. He said he thought it would have been cool to do that. He said he thinks this fake conspiracy theory thing is great.

  Howard took a call from a woman who said that her neighbor thinks that the birds aren't real thing is real. She said it's actually her ex-in laws. She said that her ex-husband believes it too. Howard said it's crazy what people believe. Howard said she sounds hot, he asked if she is. She couldn't hear him so he gave up asking.

  Howard said that Gary has a list of conspiracy theories. Gary said someone sent them to him. He said some of them he had never heard before. He said there's one about Avril Lavigne dying and being replaced by a body double. Howard said they had something about that with Paul McCartney too. Howard said Avril had to come out and address it.

  Gary said another one is that Greta Thunberg is a time traveler. Robin said that one she believes. Howard had Gary read through more. Gary said that Biden is a robot, Stevie Wonder is not blind, Wayfair the company designed boxes for trafficking sex workers to get them to your home by delivery, Ted Cruz is the Zodiac killer, Kylie Jenner is a drone, Nazis live on the moon and more.

  Howard, Robin and Gary spent a little time talking about some of those conspiracy theories. Howard said you can Google Conspiracy Chart and Abby Richards is the one who came up with that.

• JD's Hollywood Party Continues. 02/16/22. 8:20am
  Howard said the woman who was on earlier is back on and she wants to answer if she's hot. She said she's not Howard hot but she is pretty. Howard said he doesn't have that high a standard. Howard said back in the day she would have been hot enough for him. Howard asked if she has a weight issue. The caller, Tina, said she's always been thicker and not really fat. She said she's like 5'8'' and 158 pounds. Fred played a cow mooing sound. Howard said he has to go. He said that JD loves thick women. Robin said he loves big butts. Howard asked JD about that. JD said sure. Robin said he said he would sleep with Oprah. JD said he did. He said sure. Howard asked if he could get it up for her. JD said sure.

  Howard said next time maybe don't call him, call a gym. Robin told him to stop it. Howard said no one is in worse shape than he is. He said he'd be lucky to have her. Howard let her go and got to JD.

  Howard said JD has been out in L.A. for a while now. He said he was out there for the Super bowl. He said Richard is upset that he's out partying after his team lost. JD said he's not partying. He said he's just going out to dinner.

  Richard said that he'd be more upset if he were JD. JD told him to shut up. Richard said he's not a real fan. He said Jon Hein agrees with him too. He said he got over it too quick. JD said they don't know what he's thinking about. Hein got on and said that JD is a good friend but he thinks that he's gotten over it too quick. He said he's ignoring the reason he's out there. JD told him to shut up. He said he's trying to say that he's a better fan than he is. He said he's not.

  Howard asked JD if he has jerked off since Sunday. JD said he thinks he did once.

  Howard said last night JD was out at a dinner. He said that he has to slow down on the food. He said listen to this. He read what he had for breakfast which was Chick-Fil-A. He said he's not concerned at all about his health. Robin said he's panting when he's out on a hike. Howard asked how old he is now. JD said he's 42. He told them to stop laughing. He said Blitt is laughing at him.

  Richard said that he wants to give him a hard time about what he's eating too. He said he's out there in L.A. and he should get In and Out instead of Chick-Fil-A. He said he shouldn't be getting that out there. JD said it's not the greatest thing ever like they hype it up to be.

  Howard said Jon Blitt is following him around and taking notes. JD said he can't do anything with him out there. He said he's typing notes into his phone all the time.

  Howard said for lunch JD had Chinese food. He read the list of things he had and there was a lot on there. JD said it was a family meal thing. Blitt said that he ate for a family. JD said he didn't have all of the food. He said he had one. Jon said he had two and reminded him of what he had. JD said he's right. Howard said JD is going to be a mess. He said he watches his diet and he's a mess. He said JD is going to be a disaster.

  Howard said he's going to bust JD more. He said for breakfast today he had a bag of Cheez-its. Jon said he had a Kind bar too. JD said he was out late last night and it went later than he thought it would. He said he didn't want to walk out. Howard said he could order something reasonably healthy. He said he's just saying he should watch what he eats.

  Howard said he doesn't want to bum out this conversation but JD was the toast of the town last night. Jon said big time. Howard said Jon and JD were at this Superstar's home last night. He said they were at Natalie Maines house. He said she invited them over. Howard said she has a voice of an angel and she opened the door up to JD and Jon. Howard asked why he didn't go to Jerry O'Connell's but he does go to her house. JD said he doesn't even have Jerry's number. He said Natalie texted him and invited him over. He said she was having Mexican food and some tequila. He said he went. He said he's friends with her. He said there was a total of 6 people there. He said that includes Blitt.

  Howard asked how JD is treated. Jon said that people were in awe of him. He said they can't believe that he's real. He said the first time JD hooted was when Natalie was telling a story about a guy who was staying in her house illegally. He said when he hooted everyone cheered. Howard said when they heard it the said ''There it is!'' Jon said that's right.

  Howard asked if they asked JD about his spoons or peanut butter or anything like that. Jon said JD talked about how he got on the show and did a retrospective of his life. JD said he did and he talked about where he went to school and all of that.

  Howard asked if Natalie served Combos for dinner. Jon said no but she had amazing Mexican food. He said JD sat down and ate before everyone else sat down. He said that he was done with his meal before everyone else. JD said not everyone got up to get food.

  Richard asked how much tequila he had. JD said he had one and two glasses of wine. He said he didn't do any edibles that night. Jon said he did earlier in the day. JD said that was earlier in the day. Jon said he also had another drink before they went over there. Howard said thank god Jon is there. He said JD would never tell them the whole story. He said he's probably high right now.

  JD said he didn't even finish that drink. Howard asked Jon what happened in the car ride over. Jon said he asked JD if he wanted this THC drink he had. He said JD said okay and drank some of it. Jon said he finished it before they got there. JD said he did not. Jon said he saw it.

  Howard asked if he was eating and drinking so much because he was going to a celebrity home. JD said that he had a gummy earlier in the day too. He doesn't remember when that was. Jon said it was around noon. He said it was after work but before lunch.

  Howard said when you go to a home like that you can't rush up and grab food and eat by yourself. He said you have to wait. JD said he doesn't remember it like that. Jon said it was a very laid back dinner. He said still... Howard asked if the house is a mansion. JD said it has a long driveway. He said there's a nice dining room and a kitchen and it was nice. Howard said it must be massive. He said she's worth a lot of money. JD said she has music equipment everywhere. He said he doesn't know where her kids were. Howard asked what that was all like. JD said there were a lot of guitars all over. He said she had some music playing and he's not sure what it was.

  Howard asked if the room was massive. JD said yeah. He tried to describe it like anyone could understand how it was. Howard asked if he took his shoes off. JD said she said they could leave them on. He said he's not sure what the floors were but they weren't carpeted. Howard said his description could be a house or a trailer.

  Howard asked Jon about what it was like when they went to eat. Jon said JD was the first one to get up. JD said Jon was. He said he got up after him. Jon said JD sat down before anyone else and then he ate before anyone else. He said they all sat down and JD was the only one eating. He said the other guy had a little bite and then JD was 3/4 of the way done with his plate by the time Natalie sat down.

  Howard asked if JD went back up for seconds before Natalie was done. Jon said he did. He said she was about halfway through her meal. Richard asked if JD shit at the house. JD said he didn't use her bathroom at all.

  Howard asked if JD was so high he didn't know what he was doing. JD said apparently. He said he didn't even have that much food. Jon said JD is a great guest. He said he was very talkative and nice. Howard said at least he didn't shit there.

  Richard asked if there were other celebrities there. JD said no. He said you wouldn't know who they were. He said that it's Dean and her make up artist. Howard said Dean stayed at his house. He said he knows Dean.

  Howard said the biggest celebrity next to Natalie was JD. Jon said he might be a bigger celebrity than her. Howard asked JD if he felt like the guests were there to look at him like a zoo animal. JD said there was a lot of Stern fandom in the group. He said the had their favorite moments and things like that.

  Howard recapped what they had just gone over with JD. He said they talked about current events too. Howard asked what they were. Jon said they talked about the homeless situation in L.A. JD said that was more Jon's take. Jon said JD did talk about it though.

  Jon said he wanted to call a male escort to come over to the hotel room and think that JD saying no meant that he wanted it more. He said it was too expensive though. Howard said that would be too much.

  Jon said he does still plan on doing the bit with JD on the plane where he proposes to him. JD said that's not going to happen. Howard asked what he means b that. JD said he's going to do what he can to stop it from happening. He said he's going to warn the flight attendants what's going to happen. Chris said he'll get thrown off the plane instead.

• Richard's Jizz Hat Update. 02/16/22. 8:50am
  Howard said Jon Blitt is very busy. He said when he gets back he's going to pick up Richard's hat to bring it to Benjy. Howard asked Sal what's going on with the cap. Sal said it's up to 7 thick loads. He said it's up to 3.8 ounces from 3.5. Howard asked if he can weigh it in front of him. Sal said he has a picture from the last weigh in. He showed it to everyone and everyone was disgusted. Richard was dry heaving. He said he's thinking about what it's going to smell like. Sal said it really stinks. He said he picks it up every time to see what it smells like. He said yesterday he dropped a load on the back of the hat where the Chief's logo is. He had Jason show that to everyone. Jason said this is what he has to look at every day. Everyone sounded shocked when they saw that picture. Chris said he has a really thick load. Richard said the fans want to see it which is weird. Sal said he has a friend who said that he wanted to see it. He said his friend drove 25 minutes to see it on his phone. He said that he can't send it out so the guy came to see it in person.

  Howard said he has a fun fact. He said the hat is kept in a bag that says ''Sal's work'' on it. He said that's funny.

  Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Dan Rather who was reporting on the hat and sniffing it to see how bad the smell was. He sniffed it and threw up. He said it's worse than burning bodies in Saigon. He had a lot of descriptions for the smell. He said it was burning his nostrils.

  Howard said he's so proud of this show. He said that the audience is dying to see Beth in lingerie and Sal's load. Richard said he loves how Sal keeps saying that the hat stinks but that won't stop him from jizzing on it. Sal said nope.

  Howard said Sal came on the hat every day. Sal said he's not sure where the loads are coming from. He said he didn't know how big they really were. Robin asked if he's going to miss it. Sal said he will and he wants it back after Richard wears it.

  Howard said he's thinking he might have to go with the hat for a few days himself. He said he wants to see how big his loads are.

  Howard asked Sal how he jerked off to this thing. Sal said you lay it down on the toilet and then jerk off on to it. He said that he's been watching some Spanish mom porn. He said as soon as he blows his load he grabs the phone and takes the picture. He said he's crusted up his phone a bit too. He said you have to capturer the load as it's fresh. Howard said Benjy claims he can cum like 10 times a day on that cap. Benjy said he asked if he could cum on the cap. He said he doesn't have any desire to fuck the hat 10 times.

  Howard said they checked with a doctor about this and you have to follow some safety protocols. He said Jon has to follow this too. He said there can be no skin to skin contact with it. He said the have gloves for the staff. He said the hat has to have a 24 hour rest period before moving it on to the next person. He said Richard can wear it but not for more than 15 minutes. He he has to wear a protective thing under the hat when he wears it. Robin said she has something for Richard to wear.

  Howard asked Benjy how he's going to do this. Benjy said he was going to take it to the booths or a massage parlor and do it there. Howard said he doesn't know about that. He said it sounds like a lot of work. He said just keep it at home and do it there. Richard said he's going to call Sal and have so many questions.

  Sal said when they did the dildos for Ronnie he had Benjy calling him with the dumbest questions. Benjy said he was told to call them with those questions. Howard said it seems simple to him so just get the job done. He said just calm down with it. He said don't turn it into something it isn't. He said just cum on the hat and get it done.

  Howard said the fans have had it with Gary. He said the really are upset with Gary for backing out of this. Richard said he's Baba Backout. Howard got the fan feedback about Gary and what he did with this hat thing.

  Howard read through some of the fan feedback about Gary backing out. Fans were upset about him doing that and the were saying he's bringing the show down.

  Howard said High Pitch Erik is upset about the whole thing. He paled a voicemail that he left about that. He said that he should get fired for that. Howard said fans are sending in songs about their disappointment. He had a song from Jay and Roddy about Gary backing out of the deal.

  Howard said a famous star has gone into the studio and recorded a song. He said Michael Rapaport did a new one. He played that song too. Gary asked if you can imagine his career if he put that much work into his actual job. Howard said he actually said he worked harder on the song than he did on Only Murders in the Building.

  Gary said he's feeling better about his decision after seeing those pictures of the cap. Howard said Chris Wilding is really upset with Gary over this hat thing. He said Chris is up in Canada and they're having trouble getting it to him. Chris said they had a hit job on him on the Wrap Up Show. He said the were saying he always backs out of things. He said he doesn't like that narrative. He said it's untrue and he feels like Gar planted it to get the heat off of him.

  Howard played a clip from the Wrap Up Show where the guys were talking about Chris and how he's not able to hold up his end of the deal. They were saying that Chris has done this before. Chris said he's not sure what's up with Rahsaan. He said that he will call him a piece of shit for who knows what reason. He said don't lie about what happened. He said it's very Trumpian of them. He said if they get him the hat he'll jerk off on it. He said it's not a big deal to him.

  Howard asked Gary why he was spinning this. Gary said that all he said was that he was having reservations about it. Howard said he never said that. Howard said he didn't say he had reservations about doing it. He said he just had reservations about doing it at his grandmother's place.

  Gary said that no one on the Wrap Up Show was told what to say. He said it was just what they were talking about. Chris said that they were saying stuff that just isn't true. He said it's bullshit. Chris said Gary knows it too.

  Howard took a call from fake Jim Meyer who wanted to talk about the cap. He said that Gary is on thin ice. He said shoot that hat down to him and he'll cum on it.

  Howard said now he has Rahsaan on the line to respond to Chris. Rahsaan said that he did get the High Pitch Erik thing wrong. He said he's sorry about that. He said that he did say that he didn't think the hat thing was going to happen. Chris said that he said he would do it very clearly. He said they have to listen to the show and wrap it up. Rahsaan told him to shut the fuck up. Chris told him he has one job and that's all he has to do. Rahsaan said he'll strangle his little ass. Chris said he finds him to be a cunt and he doesn't like him threatening people. He said he's a tough guy. Rahsaan asked what he's going to do about it. Chris said he's calling him out on that stuff. He said he's talking about him on the Wrap Up Show and it's always negative when they do. He said he might have to come on as a co-host and set him straight.

  Howard asked Rahsaan what he thinks about Gary backing out of that whole thing. Rahsaan said he thinks Gary had immediate regret. He said he was excited about it and then he had buyer's remorse. He said he was excited for the bit. Chris said he's afraid of Gary and he has to suck up. He said for Jon Hein to lie they have to be afraid of him.

  Howard took a call from fake Sal's wife who said she knows something is going on over there. She said she just grabbed his hat so she can run out for some stuff. She said she got something on her hand. Howard tried to tell her what was on it. Richard said he just wants to say that this hat is tearing the office apart. He said now there's a line drawn in the sand with them and it's like Cobra Kai there. Chris said there's only one guy who backed out of this whole thing. He said Gary is such an air whore that he got on to say that he was going to jizz on the hat but then he backed out of it. Gary and Chris went back and forth with some insults.

  Robin asked if there's something gong on with Rahsaan and Chris. Rahsaan said he has no beef with Chris. He said Chris listens to the Wrap Up Show and they get upset when they comment on what happens on air. He said that the whining and saying that there's some beef there is wrong. They went back and forth arguing and there were some mild threats made. Howard said they all have to take a deep breath.

  Rahsaan said don't get on the air and call him a cunt. He said he's not cool with him enough to call him a cunt. Chris called him that again. Rahsaan said friends can do that. He said he's not a friend. He said they just work together.

  Howard asked if Rahsaan saw the lunch that JD had yesterday. He said he's out there in L.A. too. Rahsaan said he thinks that JD was very stressed out there. He said that Blitt might be getting to him.

  Blitt asked if they can make a coffee table book of the loads on the cap. Howard said that is in the works. Howard said what a show this has been. Gary said Chris likes to dish it out but he can't take it. Chris said he's just telling the truth. He said he knows he's a whiny bitch. He said Gary is so manly.

  Howard said they learned in this segment that Chris threatened to cum in Gary's mouth. He said now Chris is threatening to blow Gary. He said he'll do that and they'll work their things out.

• More JD In L.A., Calls And Can Benjy Be Trusted? 02/16/22. 9:30am
  Howard said that was a great report on JD out in Hollywood. JD said thank god it's coming to an end. Jon said they're going out to dinner tonight to a Japanese restaurant. He said JD was invited to Ryan Phillippe's house for a drink so they might do that too. Howard asked Jon how they can have 23 courses at this restaurant. Jon said it's very small portions. JD said he likes sushi so it'll be good.

  Howard asked JD about drinking his THC laced drink and if he'll get in a car and take some gummies. JD said he's not doing all of that. Jon said they may bring some beer with them on the drive over.

  Jon said he's going to try to get JD to come and hang in the pool with him. JD said he's not doing that. He said he got enough sun on the hikes. Howard asked if he's afraid that the Paparazzi will find him and photograph him. JD said not at all. Sal said you can't miss him. JD told him to shut up.

  Howard asked if JD is getting any sleep out there. JD said not a lot. He said he's not used to the time difference. He said that's messing with him. He said he go a couple of hours of sleep last night.

  Jon said that JD can't use chopsticks. He said he has video of that. JD said he can't get the things to come together. Howard said he can't light a lighter either. He said that he eventually learned. Gary said that was right around the time he learned to boil water.

  Howard asked JD where he met these friends that he went to lunch with. Jon wasn't invited to that lunch. Howard said Jon could feed JD like a dolphin if he can't teach him to use chopsticks.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said this is one of the best shows he's heard. He said he wants to apologize on behalf of Canada for Chris' behavior. He said he is not a true representative of Canada. He said he's been in the United States so long that he has adopted that attitude. The caller said he wanted to talk about one of the super bowl commercials too. He started to talk about it but Howard bailed on the call.

  The guys were still arguing over the Wrap Up Show stuff. Everyone was talking over each other.

  Howard said there you go. Fred, as Benjy, asked if he can call anyone a cunt like Chris did. Howard said Benjy is getting the hat next and he'll do his thing with it. He said that will be impressive. He said we're all looking forward to that. He said Sal gave him some good advice about taking a picture as soon as he's done it. Robin said keep that hat away from his dog Chicken.

  Howard said there you go. Chris said tune into the Wrap Up Show to hear them making up lies about him. Gary said he's such an egomaniac. Chris told Gary to fuck off. He said he talks over everyone in their meetings.

  Howard said lets leave the last word for Mark in Arizona. The caller, Mark, said that the can't trust Benjy with that cap. Howard said he brings up a good point and he's getting nervous about this cap. Jon said he will not leave that thing alone. Howard said everyone is enjoying this hat and they don't want anything happening to it. He said that he could be a hero if he just does the bit and doesn't ruin it. He said no other show is cumming on a Chief's cap. He said it's very offensive. He said all Sal did was drop a load on the hat and he became America's sweetheart. He said he can do no wrong. He said Benjy can be a hero if he just does it and doesn't ruin it. He said he doesn't have to be over the top. He said he's already over the top b just jizzing on the cap. Benjy said he knows that it's a historic bit. He said it's fun to be part of it.

  Howard said Benjy doesn't need to take it to the booths. Benjy said he didn't want to bring the cum hat into his house. He said he'll do it in his house if the want. He said if they want to take him out of it he's fine with that too.

  Howard asked the guys what they think. He asked JD. JD said he thinks Benjy can do it. He said he has faith in him. Richard said he thinks Benjy can do it. Jon Blitt said he does not want to bring the hat to him. He said he doesn't truest him. Howard asked Chris what he thinks. Chris said he thinks it's Blitt's responsibility to keep it safe. He said he can't give it to him for a week. He said just give it to him for a day. Howard asked Sal. Sal said he thinks that he should just have it to jerk off on it and then Jon gets it back. He said that way they don't lose it.

  Gary said he thinks that they should give it to Benjy because it will be great for the show. Howard said he doesn't want it ruined. Howard asked Rahsaan what he thinks. He said he thinks that Blitt should keep an eye on it. He said he should give it to Benjy though.

  Howard asked if Benjy doesn't want Blitt in his apartment because he might see what he has going on there. Benjy said he keeps that separate from work. Howard said they do have to wait 24 hours before bringing the hat to Benjy. He said the want the shitty crap to dry up a bit. Robin said the can handle it without getting involved with the cap. She said she was an isolation nurse so she knows. Howard said they have to go with the expert and what they said. Robin said that giving the hat to Benjy for 24 hours is dangerous.

  Howard polled everyone again and it was an overwhelming for giving it to Benjy. Howard said he wants his word that he will jerk off with it in his house and not take it anywhere. He said that they all think he'll fuck it up somehow. Howard had Benjy repeat after him and say that he will cum on the hat without his usual shtick. Benjy said he can't make that oath. Howard said just promise to do what he says. Benjy said he will. He said he's not fighting for this. He said he volunteered to do it and that's it. Howard said he will keep it for 24 hours and then Blitt picks it up and takes it to Jason's house. Benjy promised to take care of the hat after Howard asked him to promise to do that at least.

  Howard said he's ruling that he hired Benjy to work for the show. He said he believes in the goodness and dignity of man. He said if Benjy said he can follow the rules he's going to go with that. He said he knows what he promised. He said he knows he's incapable of keeping his promises but he thinks he can do this. Robin said she thinks that Benjy wants to stand out and he wants to be different. Howard said cumming is enough and he hopes he understands that. He said he thinks he gets what the job is here.

  Howard took a call from Ralph who said that the should not let Benjy have that hat for more than a couple of days. He said something will happen to it. He said his new favorite thing on the show is Jon Blitt annoying JD on the show. He said do not let him go to lunch without Jon. Howard asked why he can't be there. JD said there are people who don't want this covered. Howard asked what their relationship is to them. JD said one person is a good friend and the others aren't that close but he knows them. He said it's a whole thing. Howard said he doesn't understand. He did his impression of JD explaining it to them. JD said he doesn't know them as well. He said they don't want this being monitored. Gary asked if it's a friend or is it a relative or what. JD said he knows one person well because he's worked with them. Chris said he's a sketchy mother fucker. JD said they're making more of it than what it is. Howard said he can't figure this out. Howard asked who it is. JD said that he just got a note saying it's fine if Blitt comes. He said that the person doesn't want to be named. Howard asked if he's having an affair or something. JD said he worked with this person. Howard asked if it's someone he met there at work. JD said yes. He said it's someone who was involved with the show. JD said he can't say who it is. Howard asked if they asked to go to lunch with him. JD said they did and he can't say who the other people are.

  Benjy asked if it's Jackie the Joke Man. JD said no. Ralph asked if everyone would know who it is. JD said you'd have to be a fan of the show but sure. Richard said he's thinking he might know who it is. JD said the don't want to be discussed on the show. Howard said Jon has been given the go ahead to cover the lunch. He said he can go and see what JD does at lunch.

  Ralph asked Jon to take JD hiking again. JD said he's gone out twice already. He said he's not going again. Richard said they should make these two move in together. Howard thanked Ralph for the call. He said that Jon will be covering this lunch with this person he knows well and other people he knows but not that well.

• High Pitch Erik And Debbie The Cum Lady Update. 02/16/22. 10:00am
  Howard took a call from a woman who said she's calling about Erik and Debbie the Cum Lady. Howard said he was going to get to that toady. He asked if they want to hear an update. He said he can get to that now. Everyone wanted an update.

  Howard said he had an update but he can't find it. He said everyone is gearing up for that update. He said Debbie has a rotation of men that she blows to satisfy he thirst for jizz. He said Debbie wants to blow Erik and the are making plans to meet up. He said Jimmy Kimmel is calling this the Super Blow. Howard said they reached out to Debbie and found out she has a date of March 14th and Erik will be going down there to a hotel room to meet her.

  Howard said Erik has a plan and they have audio. He played a clip of Sal talking to Erik about it. In the clip Erik said he was asked not to jerk off for a month or so. He said he's hoping to blow 20 times in a day. He said he thinks he can have 5-10 loads a day. Howard said they're not sure Erik has ever blown a load. He said that he may not even know what a load is.

  Howard played another clip of Sal talking to Erik about the trip to Florida. In the clip Erik said he's going to cut out some junk food. He said he's going to cut off his medication too.

  Howard said Debbie is planning to finger Erik's asshole when she's blowing him. Howard said they recently played a clip of a porn star saying that Erik wasn't able to cum. He said they dug deeper into that and found out that Erik has never seen his own load. Robin said she had a feeling that was the case. Howard said this is a bombshell. He said it's big news.

  Howard played a clip of Erik talking about how he's never seen one of his own loads. He said he has felt it though. Robin said he has claimed he jerks off to Donnie Wahlberg. Howard got Erik on and asked how he has never seen his loads. Erik said he does when he jerks off to Donnie. He said that they're not at his house. Howard said he told Sal he has never seen his loads.

  Howard said Sal called Debbie to see if she was concerned about this. Howard played a clip and Debbie said that would be her worst nightmare if he didn't have a load. She said she's praying every day that he will cum. She said that she also wants a man who cums quickly. Howard said that could go on for hours. He asked Erik if he can cum quick. Erik said he can. Robin asked how long he masturbates when he does it. Erik said whenever Blue Bloods is on or when he sees Wayne Brady or Drew Carrey he jerks off.

  Howard said they asked Debbie what her concerns are. He played a clip of Debbie talking about putting her finger up his ass and she's going to bring an enema bag with her so he can clean out his ass. She said she'll even help him if he wants her to. She said they can do it in the shower.

  Howard said Erik is in for some wild time. Erik said he's never had his prostate milked before. He said it might hurt. Chris laughed. Erik asked how far she puts her finger up there. Howard said up to the prostate. Chris said it's a long way. Erik asked if it'll tickle. Erik said he's never had a finger up there as long as he's been awake. He said he had a colonoscopy. Howard said his doctor was probably grossed out by him and didn't do it.

  Erik asked if Howard has ever had a woman do that to him. Howard said a girl did try to do it to him but he clenched up. Erik asked if Chris has ever done it. Chris said of course, he's a gay man. Erik said he's not sure what to do. He said he might have to take a Klonopin to relax. Chris said he'll be fine without that. All the guys were doing impressions of Erik talking about all of this stuff. Erik said he's not sure he wants to do this. Chris told him to ask her not to then.

  Howard said he bets that shit will come out when she sticks her finger up his ass. Erik said he doesn't think so. Jon Blitt asked if he should go over and give Erik a pre-enema to make sure he's good to go. The guys said he's really into helping the show out lately.

  Howard played a song parody about Erik and Debbie. Sal said that the found out that Erik has never seen his load and he has another story for the show next week about Erik never cumming. He said that's a teaser for next week.

  Howard said he has to tell Erik something. He said if a woman wants to stick her finger up his ass he can say no. He said no means no. He said this Debbie talks a good game. He said she seems to know what she's doing. He said that if you don't dig it then tell her no. Erik said he's saving all his cum for her. Sal said that she also said that she's willing to tongue his ass too. Erik said he can't have her eat his ass. He said that she might be more into it than he is. Howard said Erik plans to cum 20 times that day. Benjy told him to just close his eyes and pretend that it's John Stamos with his finger up his ass.

  Howard said that was another big show and a week of shows. He said that they'll find out more about JD's big lunch next week. He said they'll find out about the trip home too. He said Benjy will get the hat and they'll talk about that. He said he doesn't think Benjy will fuck this up. He said he has faith in him. Howard wished him luck with the cap. He said that he wishes JD luck out there too. He said Gary has to tell the truth on the Wrap Up Show today. Gary said he'll do his best. Howard said Ben Stiller will be in next week. He ended the show around 10:20am.

• Thursday Replay Show: Monday Encore. 02/17/22. 7:00am
  This morning's replay show was an encore of Monday's Howard Stern Show. You can read details for all three live shows above. Here's what they played this morning:
  • Super Bowl Discussions. 02/14/22. 7:00am
  • RIP Ivan Reitman. 02/14/22. 7:15am
  • Bob Saget Death Update. 02/14/22. 7:35am
  • Howard's Family Misery. 02/14/22. 7:45am
  • Apples Wants Peace With Ronnie. 02/14/22. 7:55am
  • Sal Update, New Beetlejuice Song And More. 02/14/22. 8:10am
  • Lenny Dykstra, Trucker Protest And More. 02/14/22. 8:40am
  • Nikki's Super Bowl Pee Bet. 02/14/22. 8:55am
  • Super Bowl Update With JD And Jon Blitt. 02/14/22. 9:05am

• Friday Replay Show: Tuesday Encore. 02/18/22. 7:00am
  This morning's replay show was an encore of Tuesday's Howard Stern Show. You can read details for all three live shows above. Here's what they played this morning:
  • Howard's Mom, Valentine's Day And More. 02/15/22. 7:00am
  • JD Still In L.A. 02/15/22. 7:30am
  • Howard Takes Some Calls. 02/15/22. 7:50am
  • Kanye West And Pete Davidson Story Updates. 02/15/22. 7:55am
  • Guitar Distortion Explained. 02/15/22. 8:25am
  • Ivan Reitman Discussions. 02/15/22. 8:35am
  • Dave Grohl And Taylor Hawkins Visit. 02/15/22. 9:10am