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Howard said Gary said he watched football for 7 hours yesterday. He said he's so glad he's not invested in that. He said he has so many other things he wants to do.
Gary told Howard about the games he watched and how he was doing work while watching. He said everything was done by 7 or 7:15 last night. He said then the 8:15 game starts when he's wrapping up his evening. He said he never thinks it's too much. Howard said there are so many other things to do during the day.
Howard asked if Gary eats a lot during the games. Gary said yes. He said you eat while watching the game. He said that he always has something. He said he has a lot of chocolate.
Howard asked Robin where she was. Robin said she took some time to vent about her life and that set her back in her routine for getting her ready to be on the air. Howard asked if she was using a worker there to be her psychiatrist. Robin said she did. She said she had to talk about something and she spent her time doing that instead of doing the things she needs to do. Howard said she spends a lot of time explaining to people that she's the real Robin quivers. Robin said she had to get her discharge papers and she wasn't able to answer questions from 50 years ago. She said she was going through that and she's still doing it.
Howard said instead of being on the air with him she never looked at her watch and kept talking to the person who was helping. Robin said they always have small talk doing that. She said that she has to get in her car and go to show that it's her to get her paperwork. Howard asked if Griff gets nervous with Robin when they're talking. Robin said he will tell her that it's getting close to show time. Howard said he needed her and she was busy venting to Griff. Robin said she has to go and show up to get this stuff she's looking for.
Howard said Robin and Griff will be doing a show together next. He said they recorded that for the air. He said he never thought to vent to Griff. He said he never knew that he could have that kind of relationship. Robin said she has to drive into the city and it pisses her off. She said she had to get it off her chest. Howard said he gets annoyed too. He said he has been trying to prove who he is to the bank where his father's stuff was. He said it's a lot of busy work. He said this is all to avoid fraud.
Howard said his wife was on Facebook and she never buys anything on there. He said she saw an add for a dress that had cats all over it. He said it was like 19 bucks. He said she wanted to get it and take a picture of herself in it. He said she bought it online and never got the dress. He said a couple of weeks later they got a call from the credit card company. He said it was a fraudulent charge. He said it turns out it's a scam they run on Facebook. He said Beth said she's never buying anything on Facebook again. He said there are so many scams going on out there.
Howard said he kind of respects the attention that someone is paying because there is so much fraud out there. He said there's so much of this going on that they have to do this to inconvenience people.
Howard said he was thinking about the scamming that goes on at companies when people were talking about this railroad strike and contract. He said there's so much scamming going on that people abuse it. He said it's the same thing with people who scam the system in this country. He said they get fired and they can get 3 months from the government to get paid. He said the system is good. He said then there are people who abuse it. He said they take a job for a month or two and then claim they have PTSD or something. He said they find someone to write a note saying they have PTSD and they scam the system. He said they want to have 3 months of vacation on the government's dime. He said they ruin the system for other people who need it. Robin said it's not a victim less crime.
Howard said he knows people want to have the wild west but these companies have to look into their advertisers.
Howard said he was going to have the Howard Stern bulletin board but people were on there scamming and he didn't want anything to do with that. He said he shut the thing down because he has a sense of responsibility. He said he thought it could bring the listeners together but fuck it. He said Twitter isn't even fact checking presidential candidates.
Howard said he hates to bring up Kanye West but he thinks that he's out of his mind and he doesn't know that Hitler hated black people. He said he wanted to sterilize black people. He said Hitler would have killed their children. He said for a black man to run around saying he loves Hitler is just out there. He said he doesn't know where this mental illness comes from.
Robin said they were trying to get this kind of racism called a mental illness. She said they were saying that normal behavior is not mental illness so they're saying that this kind of racism is normal. She said they won't do anytime got clean it out of society. She said it's like never doing anything about someone having heart issues before they have a heart attack.
Howard said Alex Jones had Kanye on his show and he was trying to help him with his comments. Howard said this is kind of funny. He played a clip of Kanye rambling about this stuff and saying that he fan find something good in any human being ''especially Hitler.'' Howard said Kanye was kind of muffled because he was wearing a hood. He said he's not sure what's going on with him but maybe he's so self hating that he wants to pretend that he's not a black man. Howard said maybe he despises being black and wants to be accepted by Nazis. Robin said that just can't happen. Howard said maybe he thinks he's' like Pinocchio some day he'll become what he wants to become.
Howard said Alex Jones was trying to help Kanye out with this but Kanye kept digging himself deeper and deeper. Howard played more clips of Kanye talking about how much he loves Hitler.
Howard said Kanye was saying that the microphone was invented by Hitler but it wasn't. He said he just talked into a microphone and gave awful speeches. He said the microphone was invented by George Neumann whose wife was Jewish. He said he's not sure what is going on in that brain of Kanye's.
Howard said the other reference in there was to Hugo Boss and the design of the Nazi uniforms. He said that Kanye was making Alex Jones sound like a bleeding heart liberal. He said it was pretty fucking crazy.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Kanye and fake Alex Jones. Alex said that their interview will be on Prison Planet Max. Howard said he's making fun of his interview with Bruce being on HBOMax.
Howard talked to fake Kanye about why he was there. Kanye was rambling like real Kanye and making ''Jew'' jokes. Alex was kind of avoiding the Jewish stuff with Kanye. He wasn't going along with him when he was going crazy about the Nazi stuff. Alex said that he has to have him on his show but he's not going down that road with him. He said he'd rather talk about less crazy stuff.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake Donald Trump who was talking about Kanye being a loser and to go back to writing his awful albums. Trump and Kanye went at each other about that. Alex went off on Trump and Trump shot back at him too.
Howard said it sounds like they're fighting with each other and that's a good thing. He said that Kanye is talking about running for office in 2024. Trump said he's a loser and he's not playing second banana to anyone.
Alex wanted to break things up with a game. He had a crisis actor game to play with the guys. They went through the game for a short time. Alex was getting in plugs for wacky products during that game.
Howard said he had his doubts but that was actually fun. He thanked the guys for coming on. They all had their wacky comments to wrap up the segment. Kanye said his campaign is going to be ''Make America White Again.'' Trump had his own making America great and glorious again. Alex plugged his interview with Kanye and his InfoWars web site.
Howard said that was something. He said that will end up on HBOMax. He said that if they had the real three guys on it would sound just like that. He said he doesn't think it would be that much different.
Howard said it was weird watching this guy melt down. He said it was one unbelievable story after the next. Howard said that guy needs help.
Howard said Basal Cell is the most common type of cancer. He said his dad had something like that. He said he never thought that he'd get anything like this. He said he thought that he was kind of swarthy. He said he knows what did it to him. He said when he was a kid he didn't have any sunscreen. He said he thinks his mom would do it sometimes. He said they'd go to the beach and never had any protection.
Howard said in college he wasn't doing well and wanted to find a girlfriend. He said he was always trying to look good. He said if a girl came up to him and said she'd blow him he'd just do it. He said some very good looking women would come up to him but it was very infrequent. He said there were some who wanted to be with him and he was uncomfortable to be with them. He said he was all over the place. He said he was a mess in college. He said he took drugs to sedate himself.
Howard said he came up with a plan. He said the majority of girls were hanging out with guys who were dressing a certain way. He said these people were called Beautiful People. He said he and his friends made fun of those people. He said he came up with a plan to become one of them the next year in college. He said he was going to dress like them and become irresistible to women. He said he had the plan all figured out. He said he got his hair cut and got a new wardrobe. He said he got a gold chain and wore the shirt unbuttoned to his middle button. He said he figured the girls would see him and he'd have to fight them off with a stick.
Howard said one thing was missing. He said he was kind of pale and he needed a tan. He said he and a friend went to the beach and he laid out with no sunscreen. He said he laid out there for hours. He said he was in such pain from the sun burn. He said he had a beet red face. He said he remembers a shuttle to Boston that he took and it was $28. He said he got on with his black pants and new shirt. He said the stewardess on the plane was staring at him. He said he figured it was from his new look but it was really his beet red face. He said he was reddish purple. He said he burned his skin. He said that was the dumbest thing he had ever done. He said he bets that day is the reason he has this thing on his nose. He said maybe it's not a Basal Cell carcinoma. Robin said it takes more than one time to get that. Howard said he wanted to be hot and he may have gone more than once.
Howard said he sees a lot of people on the phones with their horror stories about their Basal Cell stuff. He said he won't pick up on them. He said don't call in with stories like that. Howard said he's not sure what he's going to do if he has to have his nose worked on. He said that he'll have to figure something out. He said he may just wear a black hood over his face like Kanye.
Howard said the things you do for love. He said he's been a nervous wreck. He said poor Beth has to put up with it. He said she thinks it could be nothing. Robin said she knows what that wait is like. Howard said its hard to complain about things with Robin and what she's been through. He said that he calls her and complains about this thing on his nose. He said she probably wants to throw him out the window.
Howard said he had this thing on his back and it wouldn't heal. He said his wife had to apply cream to it. He said she had to be turned off to the whole thing. He said he had to have her do it because he wasn't able to reach it. He said this went on for months. He said he had a hair on his back that was holding on to the scab. He said they had to pull that off. He said it turned out it was really gross. He said his face is gross and his back is gross.
Howard said he asked Beth to make love to him and she didn't want to do it because of his nose. He said the next night she did it though. He said he thought she was going to hurt his nose.
Howard said he likes to see his woman and he doesn't want her to see him so he keeps lights low but not completely off. He said he wants her in the light and him in the dark. He said he thinks she only dry heaved once. He said that he's a mess and it's really depressing. He said he'd go to the doctor when he was younger and they'd tell him to get out. He said there was nothing wrong with him.
Howard said he scheduled his yearly physical and now he knows he's going to get the results of that and this Basal Cell thing in the same week. He said he can't even go visit his mother this week. He said he has so much going on. He said he can't run over to see her. He said he knows she's going to call asking what's wrong. He said he's going to say she didn't put sun screen on him when he was growing up. He said he doesn't want to get into it with her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had a procedure done on him a few years ago. He said he thought he just had a black head on his forehead. He said he got it checked and it turned out to be Basal Cell. He said they removed it and he had surgery and there was a lot of pulling and tugging going on. He said he ended up developing a staff infection that went into septic shock. He said its best to take care of this stuff quickly. He said that we have to have access to sick days. Howard said it's crazy that the railroad workers aren't getting that. He said he can't imagine why that is. He said it's crazy. He said they must think there are a lot of people taking advantage of the system.
Howard read about Basal Cell carcinomas and what can happen with them. Robin said he's been getting checked out every year so it shouldn't be an issue. Howard said Beth told him she saw this thing getting bigger and bigger and she didn't say anything. He said she kept her mouth shut because she knew that he'd get upset about it. Howard said now he's going to the dermatologist every 3 months. He said his friend Pat is going where they take pictures so they can compare sizes of stuff so the can tell if they're growing.
Howard said this guy looks at everything. He said he pulls down his underpants to look at his butt and things like that. He said he tells him to go for it if he can stomach it. He said that he should probably look at his cock and balls but maybe not.
Howard said he never should have gone into the sun. He said he wishes he grew up in Alaska or somewhere like that. Howard said he's completely distracted by this whole thing.
Howard asked the guy if teachers didn't know what he was saying. The caller, Wilbert, was still saying stuff that was hard to understand.
Howard said this guy reminds him of Dr. John the musician. He said he had no idea what that guy was saying either.
Wolfie said he knows this guy. He said his wife accused him of cheating and his wife kicked him out. He said he's in a storage unit for $20 a month. Howard said he didn't know you could get something so cheap. He said you can't get anything that cheap in New York. He said it costs a fortune there.
Howard asked if he has electricity in there. Wibert said not in the storage unit. He said he has electricity there in the area but not in the unit. He said he has to save up some money to get his own place.
Howard asked Wibert if his wife was paying the bills. Wibert said that his wife wanted another guy to come in and take care of the bills. Wolfie told Howard about what he does and how he gets paid in cash.
Howard asked if this guy is white. Wibert said he's not. He said that he may have had a white granddaddy or something.
Howard asked Richard what he has to say to this guy. Richard said he shouldn't sleep on the floor because bugs will get to you. Wibert said he has an air mattress. Richard said he used to have to shower with a hose. He said he had a towel on his floor and it was damp and that attracted fire ants. He said he picked it up and his face was bringing from the ants biting him. He said it was covered in thousands of fire ants.
Howard said he heard this guy isn't showering. Wibert said he is able to shower and he did so yesterday. He said he has a gym membership.
Howard said things sound desperate for this guy. He asked if he cheated on his wife. Wilbert said he did not. He said he was out all night so it looked like he was cheating. Howard asked if he can get back in the house at all. Wibert said no. Howard asked how he eats. Wibert said something unintelligible about going out to eat. Howard asked if they have food in the storage unit. Wibert said no. He said he brings it in there with him.
Richard asked if there are other people living in there. Wibert said no. Howard asked if they look the other way because it's illegal to live in there. Richard said his landlord looked the other way when he was living in his. He said he was kind of security too so the landlord liked that.
Wolfie said Wibert has to be in his unit by 8:30 because they close at that time. Howard asked what time they open up. Wibert said they open at 9.
Wolfie said Wibert thinks that his wife is cheating on him with his brother. He said his son looks just like his brother. He said he was telling Wolfie that in confidence. He said he didn't want that getting out there. Howard asked if they're having an argument about this. Wolfie said he thought it was public knowledge.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was the late Bernie Mac who said he heard this guy from heaven and he hasn't heard the name Wilbert in a long time. Howard spent a few minutes with fake Bernie. He asked him to stick around to interpret what Wilbert was saying.
Richard asked where he shits. Wilbert said he has a shit bucket he takes with him when he leaves. He said he shits in a trash bag and throws that out. Howard said that's a good idea.
Wolfie had a picture from Wilbert where he showed his shit bucket bag. Howard sounded grossed out by that. Howard said you forget you have to throw the toilet paper in there too. He said that's what they were all seeing. Bernie was thrown off by that and said there ain't no fuckin' way he'd be living in a storage unit if he had to do that.
Howard asked Wibert what his plan is to get out of there. He said he can't live in there for long. Richard said he lived in his unit for 8 years. Wilbert has only been in there for a few days. Howard said he may have to go back to his wife. Wibert said he's not doing that.
Robin asked what kind of jobs he gets. Wilbert said he will get jobs where he can get paid in cash. Howard said those jobs can be dangerous.
Howard asked if Wolfie can do an embedded with Wibert. Wolfie said he'd do that today if he wants him to. Howard said Wilbert and Bernie Mac have a similar delivery. He said he might be able to do what Bernie did.
Robin said one thing they have overlooked is that Wilbert got used to the smell of shit in prison. Wibert said he did six years. Howard asked what happened. Wibert said this is nothing for him. He said he's saving money with this. Wolfie said he does push ups in the unit like he would have done in prison. Howard asked what Wilbert did to get prison time. Wibert said it was gun charges. He said he violated probation.
Howard kept asking Robin and the other guys what Wibert was saying. He didn't understand most of what he said. Robin said he's a felon so that's why he works the way he does.
Howard asked how it was in prison. He asked if anyone made him their girlfriend or anything like that. Wibert said not at all. He said no one tried anything like that. Howard asked Wilbert about his charges and how he got sent to prison in the first place. Wibert would blurt out something and no one understood what he was saying.
Someone was asking Wibert questions so he had to answer that person. Wilbert said that he might get evicted now. Howard asked what happened. Wibert said they came in early. Howard asked if that's the owner. Wibert said that's the manager he thinks. Howard asked what she just said to him. Wibert said he's a little scared. He said he's not sure what she said. He said he's a little scared though.
Howard asked Wilbert what's going on. Wibert said he's good right now. He said this white lady came and he just played it off. Howard asked Wolfie what he's saying. Wolfie said that he thinks the manager heard him talking but he's not sure what the aftermath of that was. Wibert said he's good. Richard said he'd like to know who's more scared, that woman or Wilbert.
Howard said they have to send Wolfie down there to see what Wibert is up to. Wolfie said that's done. Howard said maybe the don't want to know what Wilbert's original charge was. He said they may not have a cute conversation about it. Wolfie said he has a phone number for Wilbert's wife so maybe they can get her involved to find out what's really going on. Howard asked Wibert if he wants that. Wilbert said he sent the number already.
Howard asked if they can call her. Wibert said they can but he's not looking to get back in the house. He said that they can call. Howard asked what Wibert is doing now. Wibert said he's getting the hell out of there. He said he's not waiting for that woman to come back. Howard said maybe he shouldn't call his wife now because he has to get out of that place.
Howard said he would get her on the phone but he has a feeling that he may end up getting off the phone real quick. Wibert said yeah. The guys were saying he sounds scared now. Howard said he's going to let him go and he hopes he can work this out. He said maybe they can get an update once he figures this all out.
Howard thanked Bernie for translating for them. He said that he hopes things work out for Wilbert. He said Bernie is speaking a lot of truth too.
Howard asked Wibert what he's going to do next. Wibert said he's going to the gym to take a shower. Bernie told him to go to Home Depot and get himself a toilet. Robin said there's no hook up there for that. Bernie said it's better than shitting in a bucket.
Howard said he hopes they can figure this out so they can get Wolfie down there to see what he's up to there. He said he knows that Wilbert has to get out of there. He said he doesn't want him to lose his storage unit.
Wolfie said he'd even sleep in that storage unite for a night if they want him to. Howard said he doesn't know about that. He went into a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard came back and talked about how weird that JD bit was. He said that he got his first Christmas card and it was from Mariann from Brooklyn. He said he can't imagine she sends it to anyone but him. He said it's her making out with him just about. He said that he's always startled with how good looking she is. He said she has him dancing and all of this stuff.
Howard said he has to say that she really loves him. He had her on the phone. Mariann said she sent out 500 cards so far. She said it's her pleasure. She said it makes her day. She said she'd send one to Robin if she had her address. She said she sent one to everyone on the show that she could. She said she has 1000 fans on her list to send to.
Howard said they look good as a couple. Mariann said they do. Howard said she's a good looking woman. He said it's crazy with that voice. He asked if her husband gets upset by the card. Mariann said not at all. She said that he had her advertising guy going back and forth. She started to get exited and started yelling about the things that were in the picture with Howard.
Howard let Mariann go after she started screaming and freaking out. They played a song Mariann sang.
Robin said Howard is very hard on himself. She said she saw him in Private Parts this weekend and he was beautiful in that movie. Howard said things have changed. Robin said that he looked beautiful in that movie. Howard said she missed his nose and hair in that movie. Robin said Mary McCormack was in a scene with him and he was so good with her. She said that he was giving her a loving look and it was so nice.
Robin said she forgot how much nudity was in that movie. Howard said he insisted on that. He said they had some hot women in that movie. Robin said boobs were falling all over the place.
Howard said when he was a teenager he loved R-rated movies. He said that movie got a R rating and he loved it. He said that all of the nudity had to do with the story. He said they had the first nude lady on radio and the woman who was on the speaker. Robin said that wasn't necessary. Howard said when a woman is masturbating they rub their boobs. He said come on Robin.
Howard said they thought they were going to get an X-rating for that movie and they ended up with an R. He said it was a nice surprise.
The caller said the show helps her get to work every day on her hour long commute. Howard thanked her for the call.
Howard said Quentin Tarantino said he's stopping at 10 movies but he beat him and he's stooping at 1. Robin said that movie was all over TV this weekend. Howard said he gets checks from the movie and he's not sure where it airs but the checks come in every month or 3. He said it must be 3. He said he gets like $1.19 to $3. He said that he always cashes them though.
Howard said that Christine died and she was married to John McVie for awhile. He said that band had a lot of stuff going on. He said they had problems and there was a lot going on with people dating in the band. He played some songs that Christine wrote.
Howard said they had Christine and John McVie on the show. Robin said she doesn't remember that. Gary said he remembers that. He said they were in Los Angeles. He said Stevie Nicks was supposed to be there but she said she was too sick but she had been out at dinner the night before. Robin said they kept working together even after all of this stuff that they had been through.
Howard played more songs from Fleetwood Mac. He said that they had more break ups than any other band. He said they did a reunion tour in 1997 and Christine did a bunch of songs. He said it was beautiful. He played more of her stuff.
Howard said there you go. He said she had a beautiful voice and she was a beautiful woman.
Howard said they had that band The Highwomen on the show and they did a cover of The Chain. He played some of that performance. Howard said rest in peace Christine.
Robin said she also ran into the Bruce Springsteen interview over the weekend. She said that Bruce was talking about the song he wrote about the last guy that was in his band dying. She said that's what he wrote Last Man Standing about. Howard said they say things come in threes so it's Gallagher and Christine McVie so far. He asked who's next.
Howard said he can see the work he had done on him under his chin. He said just give it up and look the way you look.
Howard said this couple on Good Morning America, TJ Holmes and Amy Robach, have had an affair apparently and some people are upset about it. Howard said they have 65 photos of this couple out there. He said both TJ and Amy have been married since 2010 to their respective spouses. Howard said evidently they work together and they ended up having an affair. He said all hell broke loose when they published these pictures of them having an affair. Robin said they have been running around since august from what she read.
Howard said he read that Amy and her husband were finalizing their divorce before this went public. He said he kind of feels like maybe there isn't a problem there. He said if they were working together and they want to bang and be in love why does he give a shit? He said people are saying they should be fired but why? He said some people say they should have been reporting this affair. He said he's not sure what to do there. Robin said this has been going on for months now.
Howard said he's not sure what the big fuss is. He said that last week they were supposed to go on air and they had Amy off on some assignment instead of having her on the show. Howard had some audio clips from last week's show that he played.
Howard said the NY Post is calling the show ratings gold. He said that might be true. He said he sat next to Heidi Klum and Mel B on America's Got Talent. He said he never had any affairs. He said he didn't fuck Heidi once. He said she might have wanted him. He said she can deny it but he thinks she might have wanted him. He said he never fucked Howie Mandel either. He said he might as well get that out there. Robin said she has been there for 40 years and he never fucked her either. Howard said he has worked with a lot of hot chicks and never fucked them. Robin said he never fucked anyone in Private Parts either. Howard said he wanted to but he didn't do it.
Howard said he just didn't get why there was such a big deal being made out of this affair. He said once he got his separation and divorce he went to town. He said he did have some affairs he kept quiet. He said it was easy to keep his business quiet too. He said the women didn't want to talk about it either. He said they didn't want to be known for fucking Howard Stern.
Howard said he has some exclusive audio from GMA. He played a porn clip where a guy is fucking a woman and making a lot of noise.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Trump who said that he blew it by not fucking Heidi. He asked if he's gay. He asked what the point of being famous is if you can't just grab 'em by the pussy. Howard said it was crazy earlier when he was yelling at Kanye earlier. Trump said he's totally insane.
Howard said he's sorry he let him down by not banging Heidi. Trump said she would have been all over him. He said he has banged a lot of hot chicks over the years. Howard asked how many women he thinks he has been with in his life. Fake Trump said that he might be in Wilt Chamberlain territory. He said he may have easily banged 10,000. He said that he banged some over and over again. He said that they love talking about having sex with him. He said no one makes love the way he makes love. Howard asked what his secret is. Trump said he's more about quantity than anything. He said two or three pumps and he's good.
Howard said he should have names of the women he has banged on a list. Trump said he could have a banging room where they have a list on the wall. He said he could have all the porn stars and people like that on the list. He mentioned Stormy Daniels. Howard said no wonder Melania is not satisfied with him. He said she needs more release. Howard thanked him for coming in. Trump took off a short time later.
Howard said Gary rang the bell at the NY Stock Exchange on Friday. He said he's kind of curious about that. He said that the market dropped 300 points after that. Gary said he was doing this thing with a charity for LifeBeat. He said it was him and Charles Oakley who rang the bell. Gary said he was like Charles' pet in the pictures they took together.
Howard said he thinks he may have rang that bell once. Gary said he did. Robin said she thinks that it was when they went public. Gary said Howard did it at the NASDAQ. He said it was when Sirius went public. Howard said he can't believe he went to that. Robin said he was in promotion mode at that time.
Howard said he would be upset if he was Charles Oakley and Gary was there. He said that he probably wondered who the hell ''Gary Dell'Abanke'' was. Gary said he didn't even press the button for the bell. He said the guy who ran the organization did it. Howard said poor Charles Oakley. He Gary said they were on each side of the guy who runs the organization.
Howard asked if Gary talked to Charles at all. Gary said he did not but he wishes he would have. He said he wanted to talk to him about the feud he's having and how he got kicked out of a game. He said he didn't seem very chatty when he was there. He said he is a nice guy though.
Howard said they aired this on One America News. He played a clip where they had video of Gary there at the ringing of the bell. They said Gary's name wrong. Howard said very good Gary. He said congratulations on your triumph.
Robin said that her mother would set up the ironing board and do her ironing while watching daytime television.
Howard said good for Ralph. He let him go after wrapping up what he had just said.
Howard took a call from Michael Rapaport who asked how many people he has on the staff who get paid doing nothing. He said that Gary should have something to do. Gary said he loves to tweet how great he is but he kicked his ass in fantasy football. Gary said Michael has never won the league but he is in the lead right now. He said they'll have to see how it goes.
Howard cut that off pretty quick and went to break.
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Howard came back and said this song is good. He said this is Stephen Stills from 2008.
Howard said he hates this time of year. He said he hates giving gifts. He said he had to start with Robin's give back in the summer. He said it has evolved and he has to get it to her and he has to figure it out. He said he's not sure how its all going to work out. Robin said she has to go into the city so she could come get it. Howard said maybe he'll do that. He said he has like 3 boxes for her. He said he gets her great gifts. Robin said he really does. Howard said this is going to blow her mind. He said that he got her TJ Holmes.
Howard said he put a lot of thought into her gift. He said he's glad he started early. He said it's just too much with the gifts and cards. Robin said you're showing the love. Howard said her gift he's excited about.
Howard said he never feels like he knows what to get. He said it's never the right thing. He said Beth got him into birthday gifts so he has that too. He said Beth started in on him with Jimmy Kimmel. He said guys don't get things for each other. He said that he doesn't think about birthdays. Robin said she gave up on those.
Howard said Beth said she makes him into a human being. He said she tells him what to do and who to call. He said she really is good at that. He said he appreciates that. He said he doesn't want to get Jimmy a gift. He said Jimmy gets things for him. He said he wants him to stop though. He said he won't stop so he has to do something. He said Beth got him into giving gifts on their birthday. He said he didn't know what to get him.
Howard said he got Jimmy a pen. He said he's into pens so he got him one. He said he got this nice bottle of ink and a pricey fountain pen. He said he didn't hear anything from him after that. He said it turns out he ordered it from a place that didn't include a note. He said Jimmy had no idea it was from him. He said then they got in touch with him and he thought it was something that Jimmy ordered. He said Jimmy felt terrible about it and sent him a letter thanking him. He said it's just too much.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel is going to be hosting the Oscars in March. Robin said she thought he told him not to do that. Howard said he loves Jimmy. He said he told him he thought it was a good idea. He said he had told him not to do it in the past. He said if he were Kimmel he wouldn't host the Oscars. He said it's a thankless job. He said you never have anything positive written about you. He said he would have told him not to do it but he didn't want to be that guy to bum him out.
Howard said Jimmy is the guy you can depend on and he does a good job. He said he has done a god job in the past. He said you do all of this work and there's still a chance that Will Smith will come up and smack the shit out of you. Robin said that can't happen again because he's not invited. Robin said that he has a new film out and its the kind of movie that people think you'll get a nomination for. Howard said he's more a fan of Will's wife Jada. He said he likes Will's movies. He said they had Jada on the show and he's a fan. He said he's a fan of their daughter Willow too. He said she was good on Saturday Night Live. He said he saw her with pants that were wide open. He said she's an attractive kid.
Howard said that slap really caught him of guard. He said it's like seeing Jesus kick a dog. He said he's always talking about evolving but it turns out it's all bullshit. He said everyone is full of shit. He said he's full of shit himself. He said even he wasn't able to tell Jimmy not to do the Oscars. He said he wanted to say don't do it but he can't. He said even he's full of shit.
Howard said he feels funny telling people not to do something. Robin said she has a feeling they need him more than he needs them. Howard said he hopes they pay him something for it. Robin said they must have stepped up. Howard said it is a lot of work to write the monologue. He said it's a ton of work.
Howard said Jimmy got in trouble for that Emmy thing he did. He said that's another thing. He said award shows blow.
Howard said no one is making any sense. He took a call from another guy who asked who said he has to get Pearlman under a lie detector to find out if he lied about Ronnie's bagel. Howard said that's not a bad idea. He said that Ronnie thinks that he fucked with his food. Howard said Mike swears he never touched it. He said that he thinks Ronnie is senile. Mike got on and said he would take a lie detector test. Howard said he doesn't think he touched it. Mike said you don't mess with people's food. He said he wouldn't want to see Ronnie eat something that was fucked with.
Howard said he thinks that he didn't do it. Howard had Ronnie get on too. Mike made fun of his glasses again. He was making fun of them last week too. Howard said he won't take them off now because he doesn't want him to think that he had any influence on him. Ronnie said he likes them. Howard said the rest of the staff are making fun of them now too. Ronnie said they can make fun all they want. He doesn't care. He said they should all look at themselves in the mirror too. Mike said it's just the glasses and moustache and a couple of tother things. Ronnie told him to worry about his own stuff and not worry about him. Robin said he's very cranky today. Howard said he's sick, that's why. Ronnie said he's not sick.
Howard said the guys think that his glasses look like safety goggles. He asked the guys what the poll was saying. Mike said they do look a little big on his face. Ronnie said that's because he's never worn them like that before.
Chris Wilding said that the poll was not favorable to Ronnie. He said he's just there to give advice. He said he thinks he has a high prescription and he has to pay the higher price for the thinner lenses. He said that he's going to start a fire out there in the desert. Ronnie said he doesn't care.
Howard said Ronnie and Mike generated a lot of feedback last week. He read through some of that feedback. Fans were writing in about how the new glasses look and they were comparing him to Dice Clay and others.
Howard said they have some tape of Mike Pearlman and King of All Blacks going out to dinner and talking about what Ronnie should be wearing. Howard played the audio of Mike and King talking about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to weigh in on this. He said he's an optometrist. He said he's worried about Ronnie's glasses throwing off his vision. He asked Ronnie what they're for and he said he may not be seeing properly. Ronnie said they're fine. He said he's never had a problem. Howard said he has issues with his glasses. He said he can't see clearly because there is distortion there. The caller said he can help him out with that. Howard said he's not going to Connecticut for that. The caller said he can work with him off the air on the phone.
Howard said he has Apples on the phone. Apples said that he went out dressed like Ronnie for Halloween. He said Ron Capps retweeted it. He said he found some safety glasses to wear. He said he put them on and they looked too much like Safety glasses. He said he found something that makes them look like twins. Howard saw the picture and said that is a good costume. Mike asked if it's a trend in Vegas for people wearing those things. Ronnie told him to lose his name and lose his number. Robin said he is so cranky.
Howard said he'll tell you why he's so cranky. He said he went to the Rodeo and he got sick. Ronnie said he was hung over. He said he was supposed to go to the Raiders game and he had to cancel. He said he didn't go because he was hung over. He said he wasn't sick. Howard asked how much he drank to get so hung over. Mike said he's like a teenager. Ronnie told him to worry about himself.
Mike said he has so many people who he runs across that have had run ins with Ronnie. Ronnie said that's because he hang out at strip clubs all the time. Mike said he does not.
Mike said he was at this funeral over the summer and he got into a discussion with this woman about Ronnie. He said she told him about how great Ronnie was and how she used to hang out inside his limo while Howard was doing the show. Ronnie said he's so full of shit. Ronnie said he's being a fucking asshole. Mike said he's not. Ronnie said he's going down the wrong street right now. He said he didn't let anyone in the limo. He said the only one who was ever in there was Stephanie. Howard said Ronnie fucked her in there.
Mike was still going on about the woman saying she was allowed in that limo. Ronnie said he's so full of shit. He said he's got to stop lying about this. Mike said he's not lying. He said he's telling the truth. He said it was so funny.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he wants to talk about the glasses. He said that he loved his old glasses. He said he should wear them. Ronnie said he still has them. Ralph said they're so thick that his eyes are distorted. He said they're not good. He said they look like they serve some utility purpose. Ronnie said thanks but he likes them and he's going to keep them.
Howard said he has the woman who got into the limo on the phone. He took that call and it was Chris doing his Blue Iris impression talking about what she did in that limo. Howard let her go pretty quick.
Howard said he wants Ronnie to know what they're saying about him behind the scenes there. He said that's why he plays this stuff. He played more of Mike and King of All Blacks talking about what he should wear. They were goofing on his suits and how they're wash and wear now.
Howard asked if he wars suits now. Ronnie said he threw them all in the garbage. He said he doesn't have a suit anymore. Howard asked why he did that. Ronnie asked who the fuck needs them. Howard said he goes to events and stuff. Ronnie said he'll just get a new one.
Ralph said that King should shut the fuck up about clothes because he once came on the show with a t-shirt that had fresh fold marks on it like he had just gotten it before the show.
Mike was still giving Ronnie advice but Ronnie didn't care. He said he's not going to wear a suit. He said he should just worry about himself and not about him. Ralph said Ronnie has to take it down that moustache a couple of notches. He said just take it down. He said it looks very odd. He said it's too much.
Jon Blitt said he got a call from Ronnie on Saturday night and the next day he got another call asking if he had called the night before. He said he was so drunk he didn't remember. Ronnie said he wasn't sure. Howard said he doesn't think he should be getting black out drunk. Ronnie said he wasn't that drunk. Mike said he thinks he can handle it. He said he has the constitution of a 22 year old.
Howard asked how many drinks he had that night. Ronnie said maybe about 6. He said they were in those big plastic cups. He said he got home and smoked some weed. He said that he got wasted at the rodeo thing he was at. Mike asked what that was. Ronnie said it was bull riding and roping. Mike laughed about him getting wasted watching that. Howard said between the glasses and bull fighting he may not be thinking straight.
The guys kept on Ronnie about the glasses thing. Blitt said that Ronnie said that he would ride Pearlman like a horse. He said he agreed to do that but Pearlman can't buck him. Ronnie said they're a bunch of idiots. He said Blitt wanted him to let Pearlman bench press him. He said he'd never do that. Howard asked how he would do that. Mike said he'd pick him up by his back and lift him up. Ronnie said this is all about Blitt. He said he came up with that idea.
Howard said maybe Mike could stick his finger up Ronnie's ass while he lifts him so he won't drop him. Ronnie said he'll stick his finger in Mike's ass while he rides him.
Howard said he's not sure what's going on. Ralph asked what Ronnie said in his voicemail to Blitt. Blitt said he's not even sure. He said he'd have to go back and listen.
Howard asked if there's any update on Ronnie's big announcement. Ronnie said he will have it in place by next week. Howard said next week they're getting a big announcement. Mike said he thinks it's about the wedding. Howard said he thinks it's about him getting new glasses.
Blitt said he thinks it's going to be about a new look he's going for. He said maybe he's transtioning. Howard said he thinks that he may already be married. Ralph said he thinks he's married and he's announcing a big party. Robin said she doesn't think he's having a baby. She said that would be big. Howard said that would be killer. Ronnie said he doesn't want to be like Pearlman. Howard said he knows Ronnie is into Christmas and all of that. He said he thinks that he decorated the house for Christmas already. He said he heard he has two huge blow up cars and penguins in his yard. Ronnie said he's not the only one. Howard saw the pictures and said his yard looks like a junk yard. He asked what that one thing is. Ronnie said it's a race car from Cars.
Howard asked what the penguins thing is about. Ronnie said he's always likes penguins. Howard said he has no problem with the glasses or his suits but this stuff he has to get rid of. He said it makes that house look cheap. Ralph asked what the lights are that are just strewn around. He said it looks like a lake. Ronnie said it's a river. Ralph asked why he'd do that. Ronnie wasn't responding because everyone had something to say.
Mike asked if they shut that stuff down and deflate it every night. Ronnie said they do. Howard asked why. He asked if anyone has asked him to calm down with that. Ronnie said he's not the only one who does it. He said he has other neighbors who have stuff up.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she loves this Mike Pearlman stuff. She asked if they keep Ronnie on to make fun of him or what. Howard said he loves Ronnie. He said he's on the show because he's known him for many years. He said he's the most honest and genuine person he knows. He said that includes Robin. He said that this guy wears his heart on his sleeve and will tell you what's going on. He said he has interesting views too. He said he drove him around for 30 plus years so he knows. He said this guy is entertaining and he'll keep him on the show as long as he wants. The caller said he drags the show down sometimes. Ronnie said too bad lady.
The caller said she saw that Bubba is on Tinder and she knows that because she's in the area. Howard asked if Ronnie has spoken to him lately. Ronnie said not about that stuff. He said he's not sure what's going on there. Blitt told Howard about some of the stuff Bubba has been up to. They spent a short time talking about him and how he's back to being fat again.
Howard said he's sorry to hear about him gaining that weight back. He said they want him around. The caller said that he shows his head but it's just part of it but you can tell he's huge.
Howard took a call from fake Bubba for a few seconds. He was talking about going on Tinder to find women to have sex with his girlfriend. Howard said people wrote in about fake Mike Pearlman talking to real Mike. Howard got fake Mike on to do that again. Howard had the two Mikes talk to each other for a couple of minutes.
Howard was asking the guys to talk about various things. He said he loves when fake Mike talks to real Mike. He said there's something fascinating there. He kept the bit going on and on.
Ronnie said that he thinks he's hearing Tulsa King. Howard asked how that show is. Ronnie said it's good. Howard said he's only on a couple of episodes of it. He said they have to put it all out at once. He said there's no reason to wait.
Howard said he has to wrap up with the two Mike Pearlmans. He spent more time asking them questions about Ronnie.
Howard said he has the real Bubba the Love Sponge on the phone. He asked him about his girlfriend the Merch Crick. Bubba said that he wasn't on Tinder. He said he wants people to know that. Ronnie said he knew that woman was full of shit. Howard said he heard he gained back his weight. Bubba said he looks good as fuck. He said he's at 291 pounds. He said he's looking good as fuck.
Howard asked if he can still wipe himself. Bubba said he's been able to do that since 2002. Howard asked if the girlfriend is able to get things done with him. He said that anyone over 50 has to take them. Howard said he doesn't need them. He said Beth would love it if he took these pills. He said he has to listen to him. He said he has to take the pills. He asked Ronnie what they do for him. Ronnie said he has taken them but not all the time. Bubba said he has to try it because it can get you hard in the middle of the day after you blow one out.
Howard said Beth doesn't want to fuck him that much anyway. He said they do it and she's done with him for a few days.
Howard asked if he can talk to Fake Bubba. Bubba said he would love that. Howard got Fake Bubba on the line and had him talk to real Bubba for a few minutes. They were going back and forth talking about a bunch of things. Real Bubba was asking why Howard can't get him a job at Sirius. He said he has this fake Bubba on but he can't get a job there.
Bubba introduced Howard to a Jewish girl he has working on the show now. Bubba asked him to get him on the deal over there.
Howard said Bubba thinks he runs the joint. He had fake Jennifer Witz on the phone to tell Bubba what she has to say about him getting a job there. Howard bailed on that bit pretty quick.
Howard said he loves Bubba. He said he thinks he's talking to the real one now. Bubba said he should look into Cialis. He said his doctor will tell him that his prostate inflammation will be reduced. He said just look into it. Howard said he's never heard that and he never takes medical advice from him. Bubba said just promise him that he'll give him credit if he does end up doing that. Howard said he will.
Howard said he loves Bubba. He said they all congratulate him on his new Jewish employee. Bubba said he might still be there at Sirius if he had her back when he was working there. Bubba said Howard shot to the top because he had a great co-host. He said that helped. Howard said of course. He said he fully recognizes that. Bubba said Howard wouldn't be shit if he didn't have her.
Bubba said that he had a case of Cialis and he gave some to Dee Snider when he was at a show he did. He said ask Dee about that. Howard said he finds that hard to believe. Howard said he's sure he only took it out of curiosity. He said that guy is so masculine that he didn't need it. Howard let Bubba go a short time later.
Howard said that's their man Bubba. He said he says a lot. Robin said he has to check out that Cialis. Howard said he is sorry for the women who got their hopes up thinking they were matching up with Bubba.
Howard wrapped up and got in a plug for the Bruce Springsteen interview that's on HBO. Robin said she saw it over the weekend. Howard said she saw Private Parts too.
Howard said he likes Ronnie's glasses. He said that he also said earlier that he doesn't tell the truth. Howard wrapped up with the rest of the guys and ended the show around 11:00am.
Howard said his wife told him that Kirstie Alley died. Robin said she read that last night. She said she started reading up on that. Howard said that she was just 71 and that's young to him. He said it was a sudden kind of cancer. Robin said she read it was a recent discovery. She said now she's gone already.
Howard said he read that she wasn't anti-vaccine but she was anti mandate. He said maybe she just didn't go to the doctor soon enough. Robin said there are some cancers that don't have symptoms. Howard said that's what happened to Robin. He said she had a giant tumor in her and it was the size of a grapefruit. Howard said Robin was functioning better than he can without cancer. He said even the day after surgery she had more energy than he does.
Howard said he shared a birthday with Kirstie, Rush Limbaugh, Rob Zombie. He said Ally Wentworth too. He said that Kirstie and Rush are gone now. He said he likes having the birthday to himself. He's not saying he hopes they die but he would like to not share it.
Howard went through Kirstie Alley's films and said she was in Star Trek The Wrath of Khan for her first film. He and Robin talked about that for a short time. Howard went through her career and how she got started.
Howard said Kirstie was on Cheers and she took over for Shelly Long. He said Shelly was a big star and you barely remember her. He said Kirstie stepped in and became a big star on the show. He said that you stick with it if you have something big like that. Howard asked where Shelly Long is now. He asked if she's still alive. Robin said she thinks so. Jon Hein said she wanted to be a movie star so she went and did a couple of films. He said that she did some and that kind of fell apart.
Howard said he has to tell you that when you're on Cheers you can do other things. He said she could have done films. He said she should have stuck with Cheers. He said she could have done Troop Beverly Hills and still done Cheers. He said you don't walk away from Cheers. Robin said that could have set her up for life. She asked how long that show ran. Jon said maybe 10 seasons. Howard said that could have set her up. Howard said some actors are kind of dopey. He said they play smart roles and then you find out they're not that smart. He said some of them are complete morons.
Howard said Shelly Long had to go do Troop Beverly Hills. He said that's like Jacking needing to go out and punch up scripts in Los Angeles.
Howard said Shelly had a recurring role in Modern Family too. He said good for her. He said Kirstie Alley took over for Shelly and the show didn't jump the shark. Robin said Cheers was good that way. She said that Woody Harrelson came in and took over for Coach and it didn't skip a beat.
Howard said Kirstie did Wrath of Khan and Look Who's Talking. He said those were good. Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Bill Shatner who worked with Kirstie on Star Trek. Howard spent a minute talking to him about that. Howard said who would have thought he'd outlive Kirstie Alley. Howard said Bill is 91. Bill said she was fantastic and must better than that Takei guy. Bill sang for Howard to honor Kirstie. He was singing something but crying as he did it. Howard asked what song this is. Bill said it's ''In the Arms of an Angel.'' Howard asked who sings that. Bill said he'll start over. Howard closed the door on him. Bill said that's Sarah McLachlan as the door was closing.
Howard asked Fred to play the song for him. Fred said it's just called Angel. Gary said this is the song the play in the commercials where they have the dogs dying. Robin said it's beautiful. Howard said he doesn't like it. He said this is just nonsense. He said the song is ponderous. He said maybe the chorus is good. He waited for that. Howard said he does know this song and it is good. He said he doesn't like the verses. He said now he got the chills.
Howard asked if Robin can enhance this song. Fred played some clips of Robin singing. Howard said this is Robin scatting. Howard said she should have been more vocal up front. Fred played more clips of Robin making odd noises.
Howard thanked Fred for the song. He said that was very nice. Robin asked where there's a hotel room in that song. She said Bill was singing about hotel rooms.
Howard said he had Kirstie on the show in 2015 and she sang a birthday song to him. He played the song she did for the show.
Howard said that was very nice. He said she was a lovely woman. He said she was married twice. He read some details about those guys. Howard said she had weight problems and she was asked to lose weight for some shows she was on. He said she lost 75 pounds and went on Oprah to show off her new body. He said she was a long time Scientologist. He said she claimed that Scientology helped her with her alcoholism. Howard said she told Tucker Carlson that she had to keep her views on Trump quiet or she'd lose roles. Robin said she was out there spouting her views about Trump. Howard said there you go. Robin said now that's all gone.
Howard said he liked Kirstie. He said she thought she was very nice. Robin said she did too. Robin said now they've had three celebrity deaths. Howard said it was Christine McVie and Gallagher and now Kirstie Alley. Robin said there is someone they haven't mentioned which was Irene Cara. She said she was in Fame and wrote the song Fame. Howard said that's right. He said she played Coco. He said she died too.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked what the best Kirstie Alley movie was ever made. She asked it like Bobo. Howard said the Wrath of Kahn was the best. The caller said that she's watching it right now. She said its Shoot to Kill. Howard said he doesn't know that one. The caller said that it's a Sidney Poitier and Tom Berringer movie. She said it's really good.
Howard said her name used to drive him crazy. He said it's not Kristy or Christine. He said it's Kirstie. The caller said that this movie is really good. She said it's kind of like Deliverance. She said she wants Howard to watch it.
Howard said this caller's name is Karen. He said that they have really ruined the name Karen lately. Karen said she knows. She said she introduces herself and she has to hear about Karens.
Howard said he'd like these shows on streaming services to put all the shows out at once. He said he's watching Tulsa King and he loves it. He said he thinks Sylvester Stallone is great in it. He said he's up to 4 episodes and he's really into it. He said now he has to wait for the show to come out. He said he forgets to watch. He said this has happened to other shows. He said that he forgot to watch The Old Man. He said Jeff Bridges was in it and he forgot about it. He said he stopped watching it. He said it was completely off his radar. Howard said its just dumb not to put them all out at once. Robin said they do this so that you have to stay subscribed. Robin said they had a lot of people signing up during the pandemic and now it's over and people are ending the subscriptions once they end a show they like. She said they only come back when they need to see another show.
Robin said Netflix is even going to start doing that. Howard said he was laying in bed last night and they were watching The Crown. He said Beth was talking about how they haven't been sick in 3 years and not even a cold. He said that they don't leave the house and they wear masks when they do. Robin said she hasn't had a cold either and she's out more than they are. Howard said Beth wants to go out. He said he asked what she thinks they should be doing that they're not doing. He said they go out and walk every day .He said they haven't been out to eat much. He asked what they'd be doing. He said she can't even come up with anything. He said they can have people over as long as they test before they come in. He said his kids are coming over but they take a test first.
The caller said they have a big yard so they can have them in the yard. Howard said it's winter now. He said it's cold. The caller said she's in Monterey so it's nice out there.
The caller said this movie Shoot to Kill was out in the 80s. She was plugging it again and said it just came back out after Kirstie died. Howard let her go after that.
Howard read more about Kirstie and what people are saying about her passing. Howard read about some of the other shows she did recently as well.
Howard said he was talking about this couple who got in trouble on TV after they were outed as dating. Howard said they were caught by the Paparazzi having a meal and being intimate with each other. Howard said they weren't on their show yesterday. Robin said they were saying it was a distraction on the show.
Howard said Gary told him that Danny Cevallos was on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and he was saying that they get nervous that something might go awry and then they get sued. He said it could end up being a wacky law suit. He said that's what they're afraid of. He said the company gets nervous about it. Gary said Danny was saying that they could say something in the future about how they felt pressured or something like that.
Howard said it's horrible. He said TJ Holmes and Amy Robach were taken off the air. He said Stephanie Ramos and Gio Benitez filled in for them. He said he has some audio from that show. He said he could never speak as fast as they do. Howard played the clip and spent a minute talking about how fast the talk.
Howard said maybe he and Robin should fuck so they can get some time off. He said as long as they get paid it's fine. He said he doesn't think Beth would even mind as long as he gets paid.
Howard said they had the day off for some bizarre reason. Robin said she thinks they have the week off. She said they may not be back today.
Howard said he has a lot to get to today. He said he has something to say about Trump. Robin said she has something else about TJ. She said she saw that he had an affair with Robach's assistant on GMA 3. She said that's what the said on Entertainment Tonight last night. Robin said then that ended and he took up with Amy. Howard said he must be a good looking dude. Robin said he is.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Donald Trump. Howard spent a few minutes talking to him about this Constitution thing. Howard talked about how much control Trump has over the republican party. He said people weren't even denouncing him for what he was saying. Howard talked to Trump about the names he's calling Ron DeSantis and things like that too.
Howard said he has done it again. He said he has made them forget about the whole dinner thing with Kanye and Fuentes. Howard asked how he tops himself. He said he has managed to say something crazy to get him in the news. Trump said he's going to get rid of the bible. He said that's what has to go next. Robin said he may end his political career if he does that. Trump said that they should replace that with his Art of the Deal book.
Howard said nothing is sacred to this guy. He said he did see that he posted about Kirstie Alley because she was a supporter of his. Trump said he did like her and he loved her when she was skinny and underweight. He said he didn't like the heavy set Kirstie. He said her voice was always thin and sexy. He said she did love him too. Howard said it's nice to see him write something nice about her but he made it about himself. He asked if he praises anyone who doesn't praise him. Trump said never. Howard let fake Donald go a short time later.
Howard said Wolfie used to call into the show. He said he said t anyone who listened around here that he should be in radio. Robin said he had a lot of content. Howard said Wolfie would call in and he liked the guy. He said he liked the sound of his voice. He said he'd go out and cover things for them. He said if ever a guy was showing how hard he works it was him. He said he had a job before this one.
Wolfie said he worked in the travel industry. He said he'd go out and hang with Ronnie and then go do his day job the next morning.
Howard said somehow things worked out and now he works there. Wolfie said it doesn't even feel like work. The caller said he thinks he's awesome. He said if they ever get back into the studio again then Wolfie and Chris need to be in the studio. Howard said no one wants him in the studio.
Howard said they have to go back to that great question where he asked about the gaping asshole thing. He said that was the greatest question ever according to Ed the caller. Howard asked Wolfie how he came up with that. Wolfie said he wanted something that could have a sound byte. He said that was the thought that came to mind.
Howard played a phony phone call that the guys made to this MMA radio show using clips of Wolfie asking questions. That's where they had the sound of the gaping asshole question. They were playing a bunch of other questions that Wolfie had asked at some event he went to. The guys played disgusting question after disgusting question for this show. They didn't hang up fast enough so they got in a bunch.
Howard said that no one calls these shows so they get through easily. Ed said he loves Wolfie and the show. Howard thanked him and let him go.
Robin said there's a thing that happens where these people go from Wack Pack to staffers. She said one Christmas party she walked in and saw Wolfie standing at the bar. She said she had no idea that he was on the staff. She said she was used to him covering these events and there he was at the bar. She said even Wolfie said that she didn't have to speak to him.
Howard asked Greg if he's high. He said no one is going to be able to cut his penis down. He said that it won't work properly. Greg said that makes him want to faint just thinking about it. Howard said he reminds him of Superman when he lost his powers and he gets beat up at a bar. He said that's what this is like. He said he did it for Lois Lane. He said he got rid of his powers for her. He said that she was repulsed by him after that. He said this guy has a super power so who cares if she's sore. He said let her blow him instead.
Charlene said she can't put it in her mouth. Howard said look at it like a lollipop. He asked how many weeks she waited to fuck this guy. She said a week. Charlene said they've been together for 5 years now. She said that she was having her time of month at the time but they cuddled and she felt it on her rear. She said that she thought she had hit the jackpot. She said she's a small girl so it's hard to take all of this.
Howard asked how many inches she was able to take in. She said she can take it all but at first it was maybe 6. Howard asked how excited she was when she first saw it. She said she was. She wondered what she had gotten herself into. Howard asked if Greg is crazy for wanting to cut it down. Greg said he has to use lubrication. Howard said this guy needs to turn her on more. He said if she's not wet then it's her and not him. He said that he must not be doing a good job with her. Charlene said sometimes she just wants to get right to the point.
Howard said this guy has a super power so stop the nonsense. Charlene was giggling and very amped up like Howard said she was earlier. Howard said she really is worked up over this. Howard asked if they can fuck now so they can listen in. Charlene said they are at home. She said that they do have time. Howard asked if Charlene is in any condition to get it right now. She said she is. Howard said she could be odorous. Howard asked if she's good looking. Charlene said she is. She said she's been told she looks like Emma Stone. She told Howard how tall she is and how much she weighs. Howard said she's probably fine. Charlene said she could lose about 5 pounds. She said she has a boob job and she's a 34-D. Howard said wow.
Howard asked Charlene if they can do it or not. Charlene said she can. She said she was getting him going now. She said she was feeling him now. She said that they don't need to do anything. Howard asked them to get it going. Charlene said Greg isn't going to do it on air. Howard asked what kind of man he is. Charlene said that he's right there and he can hear them. Howard told Greg not to bother with the penis reduction. He said stop it. Howard let Charlene and Greg go a short time later.
Howard said he wishes women had to lube up for him. He said he'd love to have a big penis like that. He said what he would do with that. He said he would show it to everyone. He said he would do manly things too. He said he'd take a shower in the locker room with no clothes on. He said now he goes home to shower. He said he keeps his penis hidden.
Howard said imagine having a big 9 inch penis. He said she can't even wrap her hand around the thing. He said that's fantastic. He said he would love that. He said Robin is a girth monster. He said she loves that. Howard said good for Greg.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake George Takei. He said that this Greg reminds him of a song in his musical Allegiance. He ended up singing a song from the musical.
Howard said he would wear pants that hinted at his big penis if he had one. He said he wouldn't be obvious about it. He said he'd wear shorts where your cock peeks out by accident. He said he'd be in short shorts so his head would peek out. He said it's ridiculous to want to cut that down. Robins said she has never seen an ad for penis reduction so he wasn't serious. Howard said that she was absolutely giddy about that guy.
Howard said he wonders sometimes what happens if you have a brain and a cock. He said the world would be your oyster. Robin said they never heard about Warren Beatty. Howard said he heard he had a big one. He said he was one of the best looking guys on the planet.
Howard said his dad had this thing he said and he'd say ''80s Beatty.'' He said he's not sure what that was but he would repeat it. He said he would latch on to things that rhymed. He said it was weird. He said he'd bound up the stairs and make noises. He said he's not sure what that was about. He said he was in a good mood when he did that though. He said he was happy when his dad was happy because he wouldn't be so harsh with him.
Howard said Warren Beatty is 85 years old. He said that's crazy. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about his best movies. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and said that's Harry Styles. He said he has to get to a lot this morning. He said a lot of people wrote them yesterday. He said he mentioned he went to the dermatologist and he had this biopsy done on something on his nose. He said that he was talking about what a pain in the ass it might be. He said yesterday he found out it's not cancer. He said he was so relieved. He said he did say he was nervous. He said don't write him with your horror stories about having things dug out of your face. He said the fans wrote in anyway with tons of horror stories. He read through some of those stories. He said don't ask. He said that he doesn't want to hear about your stories. He said you see these stories on the news and he avoids all of that stuff. He said he doesn't want to her about medical conditions. He said he'll think he has them if he hears about it. Howard said he will accept no more scary emails.
Howard said the fans loved Wilbert the guy in the storage unit. He read through some feedback about him.
Howard said the fans liked their fake Bernie Mac. He said he was great and he misses the real Bernie. He said he was great on the show.
Howard said Wolfie checked in on Wilbert after the show yesterday. He had some clips to play. Wolfie asked him for advice for people who are married. Wilbert had some tips for you if you do cheat. He said have your name on the lease if you do cheat.
Howard asked if Wilbert had to leave that storage unit. Wolfie said he did have to leave. He said that he said it was a hot spot and he had to get out of there. He said Wilbert is looking for a new storage unit. Howard said Wilbert was only paying 20 bucks a month for that unit. He said that's a tough market out there.
Howard said Richard lived in a storage unit for years. Richard said it was 8 years. Howard asked Richard if he ever had issues with his landlord. Richard said he was caught naked in the unit once. He said that he and his buddies were shooting a movie in there and he and his buddies were there and the landlord wanted to ask him about rent or something. He said he just went ''Whoa!'' and closed the door when he saw him. Howard asked if the guy was okay with him living in there. Richard said they never really talked about it but he thinks he was okay with him living there and keeping the place safe.
Howard said all of Richard's stories end up with him naked. Richard told the story about the movie they were shooting and why he was naked. He said he never did ask the guy what he thought when he opened the door and saw him naked in here. He said it was funny to him.
Howard said you know you can just be gay and not have all of this going on. He said just let it go. Howard said he thinks that he once visited a haunted house with Sal and he got naked in there. Richard laughed. Howard asked what that story was. Richard said they were in Chicago for Halloween and they were doing shows out there. He said he had to find something to do out there during the day. He said this guy had a haunted garage so he and Sal went there. He said the grandpa said they could go and look around. He said Sal told him to stick his cock in a skeleton's mouth. He said he didn't think about it and just did it. He said Sal was going to take a picture but then the dad walked around and he put his dick away. He said the guy looked like he wanted to strangle them.
Howard said this is crazy. He said this guy has a haunted garage and he lets two weirdos into the garage to look around. He said then they're sticking their dick in the skeleton's mouth. He said these guys are in their 30s at the time. Robin said that these people are weirdos asking people to come into their haunted garage. They got weirdos to show up.
Howard asked if they just walked out. Richard said they did. He said the grandpa who let them in asked what they thought. He said he didn't know what they were doing in there. Howard said imagine what the guy thought after the dad told the grandpa what had gone on. They played a song parody about Sal and Richard being gay.
Richard said he thinks he scratched his dick with that skeleton. He said he pulled out so quick that the teeth may have scratched it. Howard thanked the guys for their story.
Howard said the fans liked that Kanye West and Alex Jones bit they did. Howard said they had fake Alex and fake Kanye on together. Robin said she read a story about Howard in the news yesterday after he commented on Kanye. Howard said good for them. He said let them write what he says.
Howard said Michael Rapaport was on Twitter screaming about Kanye. He played some audio of Michael going off on Kanye and Alex Jones.
Howard said Michael had the windshield wipers going in that clip. He said the fans liked that conversation between fake Kanye, fake Alex and fake Trump. Howard read some quick comments about that.
Howard said the Kennedy Center Honors are being held again since Trump isn't in office. Howard said they were honoring George Clooney, Gladys Night and Bono. Howard said he loves Sacha Baron Cohen. He said he showed up and he was doing his Borat voice. He said he heard about what he was saying and it sounds really funny. He did some of the bit for Robin. He said he was saying that they have to stop stealing Kazakstan's hobby of crushing the Jews. Howard said it sounds so funny. He said that he did a song parody called With or Without Jews that he hopes they keep in the TV show.
Howard said the fans wrote in about Mike Pearlman and Ronnie. He read some comments about that.
Howard said Mike told a story about Ronnie letting a woman hang out in his limo back n the 80s. He said Ronnie denied it but he'd bet that he did. He said he believes that story. Robin said she wants to believe Ronnie. Howard said she's afraid to believe it.
Howard said he has three things he wants to play for Robin this morning. He said he has to take a break first. He said he has a Bigfoot game to play. He said they had Bigfoot audition to be a mall Santa Claus. He said he screws everything up and starts cursing in front of kids. He said that they also have to talk about this Georgia run off thing. He said people voted for Hershel Walker and he doesn't get it. He said it's insane. He said that there is a run off going and he has a game to play. He said they have a Hershel Walker or Beauty Pageant contestant game. He said he also has to get to some year in review with Robin. He said he turned that into a game too. He said he will play sounds and Robin has to figure out if it happened this year.
Howard said he has to take a break so he can stretch. He said his buddy Pat told him he has to do that during the show. He said Robin has seen him do some of them. Robin said she has not seen that. Howard said he does it in front of her.
Howard said Kirstie Alley died from Colon cancer. He said that's what People Magazine is reporting. He said get that colonoscopy. Howard said that's a horrible way to go. He said that shit is nasty. Howard said he thinks the colon is your asshole. Robin said that the colon is that whole area, not just the rectum. Howard said of course.
Howard said Ronnie refuses to get a colonoscopy. He said it's really nothing. He said according to People magazine Kirstie was getting treatment prior to her untimely passing. Howard said he's sorry to hear that.
Howard said he has to do his stretches now. He said he's going to do that during the break. He said they start yapping and they never stretch. Howard said Robin is going to do her stretches and push her chest out. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and said he loves this song. He sang along with it a little bit. He said that when he was a college DJ he'd play this so people would think he was cool. He said he was always trying to get something going.
Robin said on Instagram they have suggested things that they think you'd be interested in. She said they do that on YouTube too. She said that the have these short things from George Harrison that they suggest for her. Howard said he feels bad for George because he didn't get credit for how much he did in that band.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that they were talking about Ronnie's glasses yesterday and she suggested that Chris' glasses make him look old... Howard cut her off and said he's trying to help out here. He said he has no idea what she's referring to. He said he thinks that she might be saying that they were talking about Ronnie's new glasses and she saw a picture of Chris Wilding on social media and she made a comment about his glasses. The caller said she wasn't being negative. She said she just said they made him look old and then he blocked her. She said she's a fan of Chris' but then he blocked her.
Howard asked Chris if he was being rude. Chris said Ralph taught him that you have to be a tyrant on social media. He said when they say something to you then you block them. Howard said taking advice from Ralph is a bad idea. He said he has too much free time. He said this lady is a fan of his. He said she's not being mean to him. Chris said he's not looking for that from this lady.
Howard said telling a gay man he looks old is like a war crime. He said that you don't do that. Chris said she was being passive aggressive. He said he didn't want to hear it from her. The caller, Courtney, said that she can't believe the men aren't lining up for him. Chris said maybe it's the old man look. Robin asked what's going on with the hair under his chin. Chris said he's going to block Robin now. He said he has blocked so many people he's not sure how to find this woman.
Howard asked Chris to lift up his chin so he can see this hair Robin is talking about. Chris did it and said it's the lighting in there. He said there is no lightning under his chin. He said he has had the same facial hair he's had for yeas. He said it's just the lighting. He said he's going to get called neck beard now and he'll have to block everyone.
Howard said the hair really is under his chin. He said he has to fix that. Chris said he has never heard that before. He said he has two guys fighting over him on social media now. He said that one is a flight attendant and one is a sexy librarian. He said they're both wanting to date him. He said he's doing just fine and he doesn't care if they don't like his glasses and facial hair. Howard said he's just telling him that Robin is right. He said just shave it down or leave it. He said he doesn't care what he's seeing. He said the hair on his neck is 5 times the growth on his chin. Chris said it's not though. He said he's seeing him through Zoom. Howard said he looks like an Amish guy. Chris said it's the lighting. Howard said it's all growing under his chin and not on his chin. Chris said it's the lighting. He said it's an illusion. Howard said it is no illusion.
Howard asked which guy he likes better. Chris said they're different types of guys. He told Howard about each one. Howard asked Chris if he doesn't like the guys calling his ass a pussy. Chris said it is a weird thing. Howard said he has a clip from a gay porn where they call it a pussy. He played the clip for Chris. Howard said the movie was called ''Cumming Home for Christmas.''
Howard asked Chris which guy he would pick. Chris said he likes both but the flight attendant kind of scares him. He said that he would probably go after that one though. He said the Librarian lives out of state so that's a big issue too.
Howard took a call from fake Chris' date who said that neck beard turned him on. He said he has always been attracted to the Quaker Oats guy.
Howard took a call from an Amish guy who said he wanted to comment on his beard. Fake Amish guy said he wanted to use him on the farm. Chris said this whole premise is ridiculous since he's using a phone. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Chris blocked a woman who is in a nursing home. She said that she was saying that she wishes she had a grandson like him and he blocked her. Howard asked Chris why he would block her for that. Chris said this has to be fake news. The caller said that she has called in about this before. He said this woman was like 85 years old. Howard said Chris is listening to Ralph and Ralph blocks everyone on Instagram. Chris said he wouldn't have blocked her for saying she likes him. Howard said they're saying that he's very sensitive. Staffer Samantha was one saying that he's overly sensitive. She said that she's been blocked by him in meetings.
Howard said he's going to let everyone calm down now. Ronnie said he loves this and asked Chris how this feels to get his ass busted. Chris said Ronnie's glasses make him look like Doc Oc.
Howard asked Sam what she has to say. She said that Chris has called her a phony. She said she was coming on to compliment him. Chris said she's being fake. He said he has no idea what's going on here. Sam said she thinks there's a double standard there. She said that they have to be able to take it if they can dish it out.
Howard said he has to find out what Ralph has to say. Ralph said Chris is right for listening to him. He said you don't need people bumming you out. Howard said the woman said that she just said that his glasses make him look older. Ralph said that you just get them out of your life. He said then you report people if they get nasty.
Ralph asked why he doesn't listen to him. He said if he did he'd be happier. He said that he could have had him wear something other than he did in that Springsteen interview. Howard said Ralph picked out that outfit. Ralph said he was just trying to help him. Howard said Chris is taking advice from someone who was banned from Twitter. Chris said he's blocking people who were being mean to him. Sam was getting things stirred up so Chris said he's not going to start in with her. Howard cut them all off and said it's enough already.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who went off on Chris saying that he hates the fans.
Mariann said she hasn't been out of the house in a long time and she went to see John Stamos playing with the Beach Boys. She said that he's her number 2. Howard let her go a short time later. Howard said that woman is in love. He said that everyone has to take a deep breath. He said they're running out of time.
Howard said they contacted Bigfoot because he was looking for a job. He said hey decided to audition him for a Santa hot line. He said this is the audition. Howard played a clip and Bigfoot was talking about how down to earth he is and he can do fine as long as the mothers don't hate on him.
Howard said he's not sure who would stick a kid on a stranger's lap. He said he'd never do that. He said you don't put a kid on a stranger's lap. Robin said she did love visiting Santa as a little girl. Howard said with her dad he's not surprised.
Howard said this is one of their guys calling Bigfoot as a kid calling Santa. Howard played the clip and Bigfoot asked what Timmy (Neck Beard Wilding) wanted for Christmas. Timmy said he wanted a big toy car. Bigfoot said it's hard for him to hear. He tried turning his phone up. He said he can't turn the volume up. He was cursing.
Howard played another clip where Timmy asked Santa what to do about his parents divorce. Bigfoot didn't have much advice. He said his parents just want money and that's probably why they're fighting and broke up. He said all mommy's are gold diggers. He had to explain to Timmy what a gold digger was.
Howard said Santa is going to be sleeping on the couch when Mrs. Claus hears about this. Howard said next up was a boy named Jerry who wanted advice on how to handle bullies. Howard played the clip and Jerry asked for advice on being bullied and Santa told him to just whack them in the head and tell them to smarten up. He said that'll make them back off. Jerry asked Santa to come to his school to beat them up for him.
Howard said Bigfoot got this kid a felony charge for Christmas. Howard said this is not going well. Howard played a clip of Bigfoot talking about how he had to take a piss so he put the phone down and went while the ''kid'' was on the line. Bigfoot got back on the phone after going.
Howard said they had one of the moms call Santa to complain about the way Santa was handling this. The woman said her son Timmy is running around screaming the f-word. They had Timmy saying ''fuck'' over and over. Bigfoot said he didn't mean any harm. He said he's having a terrible time hearing with this fucking damn thing. He told the woman to fuck off.
Howard said he thinks he's a great Santa. He said he's Bigfoot Claus.
Howard asked what this woman said she was, a hot wife? She said she is. She said she gets to go and have relationships with other men as long as her husband is okay with it. She said they have to share pictures. Howard asked if she's really hot. He asked how old she is. She said she's 36. Howard said a lot of women call and tell him they're hot but they turn out to not be that hot. He said when you have a hot wife do you want her fucking other guys? He said that this sounds weird. He said that he's thinking that they're not that into each other.
The caller, Julie, said that they have been together for a while and they have some kids. She said things got kind of vanilla so they wanted to mix things up. Howard asked if it was her idea. She said her husband brought it up. He said he wanted to watch her with other guys. Howard said it's weird. Julie said that there is no romance in it and there are no feelings. He said it's just a friends with benefits kind of thing. Howard asked where you meet these guys. She said various web sites. She said Ashley Madison is one. Howard asked if she can just go to a bar and meet someone. She said she could but she's not looking for a boyfriend.
Howard asked if she's a 10. She said she's maybe a 7 or 8. She said she's pretty decent looking. Howard asked who she looks like. Julie said maybe Mila Kunis. Howard asked her weight and height. She said she's maybe 135 or 140 at 5'8'' or so. Howard said she must be big boned. Julie said she's toned and doesn't have a belly at all.
Howard asked what the issue is. Julie said she can't find a guy big enough. She said that she goes home and has sex with her husband after. She said that she has to tell her husband the story and then they start going at it. Howard asked if the guys are okay with them being taped. She said they do the taping. Howard said this sounds kind of dark to him.
Howard said he wouldn't be disappointed to be in the room with a Mila Kunis type. He asked if she can send a picture so they can look her over. Julie said that the whole thing is kind of discrete. Howard said that's fine. She said she's looking for a guy with 7 or 8 inches but she can't find that.
Howard said he has a guy on the phone who said he lets his wife fuck other guys too. Howard took his call and talked to him about that for a minute. The guy said that he doesn't get jealous at all. Howard said he's not in love then. The caller said he is though.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Bigfoot who said that he has a big cock. He said he has 9 inches. He said he'll fuck her like a ''wild aminal'' it is. Howard asked if this is Bigfoot or Santa. Howard let fake Bigfoot go.
Howard said Medicated Pete is on the phone and he has a big penis. Pete said he has like 7 to 9 inches. Howard asked Julie if she'd be interested in him. Julie said unfortunately no. She said that she loves a good dick but there has to be other things about the guy. She said they have to have a nice face and body too.
Howard said sorry Pete, she said good face and good body. He said he thinks Pete has a good face. He said he has a beautiful penis too. Pete said he knows that. Howard asked Pete if he's gotten laid at all lately. Pete said he hasn't been to the nude beach lately.
Howard asked if Julie could take Pete's penis if he just stuck it through a hole in the walk. Julie wasn't into that either.
Howard said it seems like Julie is looking for the perfect man. Julie said not at all. She said she was very against this at first. She said she wasn't sure why her husband wanted to do this. Howard asked about STDs. She said they always use protection. She said the guys do lick her down there but they go through some questions first. Howard said he's not sure what to tell you. He said she's looking for 7-8 inches.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he and his wife are swingers. Howard asked how many guys his wife has fucked. The caller said thousands. He said they travel the country going to parties. Howard asked if he has to work. He said that's nothing. He said they have jobs.
Howard said it turns out his audience is like 70 percent swingers. He asked Julie if her husband is out fucking other women. She said he's not interested in that right now. Howard said he has to see a picture of this woman. She said she'd send one if they tell her how. Howard put her on hold with Jason so he could get her information.
Howard said the guys are handling that. He took a call from Ralph who said that you're playing with fire with this. He said you're not in love if you're doing this. He said something will set you off and it's going to boil over. He said you should have a threesome with someone you don't care about. Howard said he doesn't see how any man in love would want his wife doing this. He said he doesn't want Beth even looking at anyone. He doesn't want to share her. He said something is up with this swinging thing. Ralph said it can go south so easily.
Howard said a lot of marriages are in trouble and this is how they think they can make it better. Gary interrupted and said he has the picture. He showed it to Howard. Howard said he can't see. He said that this is what he thought. He said he's got it now. He said she's very nice. He said he's going to tell her something. He said enough with this. Ralph was cracking up.
Howard said Julie is a gorgeous woman but her husband may not be in love with her. He said he doesn't buy it. He said that a guy in love won't let you run around fucking other guys. Howard let Julie go and said he doesn't understand this at all. He said he's not sure why a person would want to share that lovely personality with someone else.
Howard answered a knock at the door and fake Bernie Mac had some things to say about that woman and her husband.
Howard said they have another game to play today. He said this time Robin has to figure out if it was Hershel Walker or a beauty pageant contestant who said it.
Howard read a quote about what to do about people who don't like this country. He said this person said if you don't love this place then just leave and go to another state because there are 51 others. Robin said that has to be a beauty contestant. Howard said Robin is wrong. He said it was Hershel Walker. He played the clip. Howard said you'd think a state senator would know there are 50 states.
Howard read a quote about the gender wage gap. In the quote the person said we can relate this back to education and how we're trying to create jobs right now and men are seen as the leaders of this so we need to try to figure out how to create education better. Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said she thinks it was a pageant contestant. Robin said that Hershel Walker would never talk about education. Howard said Robin is right and it was a pageant contestant. He played a clip of this woman rambling.
Howard read a quote about laws. In the quote there were things about the laws in the Constitution and the person was stumbling and not really answering. Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said that has to be Hershel Walker. Howard said it was actually a pageant contestant. He played the clip of the rambling contestant. English was her second language though.
Howard read a quote about cars. In the statement the person said that we're not prepared or ready now. The person said we need help and we need gas guzzler cars. Howard asked who said that. Robin said that has to be Hershel Walker. Howard said she's right. Howard played the quote where Hershel was talking about the gas guzzling cars and how we need them with good emissions.
Howard said Hershel makes less sense than the Wack Pack. He said it does turn out that he is qualified to be Miss America.
Howard said this is one more. He read a quote about health care. In the quote the person was talking about integrity and things like that. Robin said that has to be a pageant contestant. Howard played the clip and it was a contestant. He played the clip of the woman talking about her integrity and all of that.
Howard said he has one more. He read the quote about the border wall. He said this person said ''Wall do work'' and you have a wall around your house and if someone gets in then they can't get out but he has a dog and the dog don't bite but it looks bad anyway. Robin knew that was Hershel Walker. Howard played the clip and it was Hershel. Howard said Robin did well in that game.
Howard said one of the fans wrote in about him telling the Oscars with Jimmy Kimmel will be great so why did he tell him not to do it. Howard said he's right and the Oscars don't deserve Jimmy. He said Jimmy is great and they're not paying him enough. He said he did tell him on the phone he should do it. He said he thought Jimmy was hot to do it so he didn't want to bum the guy out.
Howard said he wondered what Jimmy needs that shit for. He said they don't deserve him. He said that was his point. He said Jimmy said they pay like 15 grand or something. He said that it's not worth it. He said the show is like a cluster fuck. He said he told him not to make fun of Jada Pinkett's head. He said his life depends on it.
Howard said he cares about Jimmy and he doesn't want to see him wasting his time with that show. He said Jimmy likes doing that kind of stuff. He said he doesn't need advice from him.
Howard said he thinks that's about it. He said it's been a busy show today. He said they had fighting and people talking about fucking other people. Howard said tell your friends to watch the Springsteen interview on HBO and HBOMax. He said that he leaned today that Bigfoot can't be a Santa. He said they had something for everyone. He ended the show around 10:10am.
Howard said it's crazy to see what people are backing in this country. He said we were fighting for freedom and the constitution and there are people willing to give that up. He said he doesn't want to get political because he knows it's boring but he was gratified to see that Hershel Walker lost. He said he only lost by 100,000 votes though. He said the guy is completely unqualified. He said he has no problem with him as a football player. He said he lost at least. He said he was a total embarrassment.
Robin said she figured maybe the games helped yesterday. She said they played those games yesterday and maybe people heard what was really going on.
Howard said the other big thing in the news was Donald Trump's organization being guilty of tax fraud. He said it turns out that he claims he had nothing to do with it. Robin said they do have some memos from him that show he did know so it's not over yet. Howard said Donald never takes responsibility for any of this. He said it's remarkable how he's avoided taking responsibility for this stuff.
Howard said he's happy that this Raphael Warnock won in Georgia. He said it's shocking that it came down to this. Robin said she saw an interview where a woman said she thought that Hershel would do more for the people of Georgia than Warnock. Robin said he doesn't even know how to cross the street so how is he going to do anything for anyone in Georgia.
Howard had some audio of a guy being asked about what Hershel will do for the people there and he drew a blank so the news cut from him when he had nothing to say.
Howard said Hershel had some good music going there. He said he had the Rolling Stones ''Start Me Up'' going. Robin said he probably didn't pick that either.
Howard answered a knock at the door and fake Donald Trump had a few things to say about Hershel. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to fake Trump about that. Donald wasn't taking any responsibility for Hershel's loss. He blamed Hershel for talking about werewolves and things like that.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake George Takei who went off on Donald for not taking responsibility for anything. The two went at each other arguing for a couple of minutes.
Howard asked George if he wrote a whole play about being in a Japanese Interment camp. George said they're debuting in England soon. He said they can't wait to see the performance they put on there.
Howard talked to fake Trump about his company being found guilty of tax fraud. Fake Trump denied knowing anything about it. Fake George called him a liar and said he had to know. The two went at each other for a little longer.
Howard said they should talk about something real here. He said he saw that Trump was reinstated to Twitter but he said no to Elon Musk. Trump said he has a deal in process and he has Truth Social and that's going to be bigger than Twitter. He said he can't go on Twitter until that deal is closed.
Fake George was asking Trump about the losers he's backed and how he's just failing. He said he has to stop trying because it's a waste of time. Trump said the election was stolen from him and they have a lot of evidence of that. He said Hershel Walker may have won as well. Trump and George went at each other arguing again.
Howard said he wants to end on a positive note so he asked each of them to say something nice to each other. George said that Melania is nice. Trump said George is very old and will die soon. He said that's the nicest thing he can say. George said that Trump's wig is better than Shatner's.
George had more to say about Trump. We were so close to this ending. Howard let the two go at each other again. Howard said he really has to go. He said he doesn't think that they'll ever get to the end of this. Howard closed the door on both of them.
Howard said the other thing he has to say is this kid that Hershel Walker has who came out saying he doesn't like his father. He said he came out and said a few things. Howard played a clip of the kid talking about what he was telling his father when he'd see him saying something stupid on FOX News. He said his dad is such a good competitor but he thinks he doesn't have to do much preparation. He said you have to study and his father didn't do that.
Howard said he likes this kid. He said at least he called him up saying he sounds like a moron. Howard said this kid is named Christian Walker. He said that kid should run for Senate. He said Trump picked the wrong Walker.
Howard played another clip of the kid talking about how the Democrats should be thanking Trump for putting this guy out there. Howard said he's right.
Howard said Georgia has been all republican. He said they usually win. He said Hershel was so bad that he lost. He said it would have been insane if he had been elected. Robin said they put anyone up for election. Howard said the really did test it.
Howard said this kid was out pushing for his father in the beginning but then he got upset and backed out. Howard said Christian said that his father gave them the middle finger and aired out his dirty laundry in public. Howard said he's sure that didn't help.
Howard said this is how the media handled the story. He said the media can't say he shit his pants. He said the anchor people have to work their way around it. He said that there is no better job than reading off a teleprompter. He said they found different ways to talk about this and they had different pronunciations of defecating.
Howard played some audio of an anchor talking about the story and he said that Putin has ''digestional'' problems. Howard said if you don't know the word then don't say it. He played the clip and then a montage of people saying the defecation thing wrong. They had different ways of saying it and they were all wrong.
Howard said his mother throws stuff out. He said she threw out his stuff. He said she doesn't like a mess in the house. He said as soon as someone brings something over she would bitch and moan about it. He said he would send his mother something on Valentine's day. He said his dad never got her anything. He said he never said he loved her either. He said he just found that out. He said he lived with her for 75 years and he never said it to her.
Howard said he would send his mom flowers on Valentine's day and then he'd get the call from her complaining about it. He said she'd call complaining that the flowers came with bugs in them. He said he can't just not send her something. He said he has to send something. He said she could have just thrown out the flowers instead of getting upset with him. He said he sent his mother some fruit for Mother's day. He said that she complained about that too. Howard did his impression of his mother talking about all of that.
Howard said he buys his mother TVs and he pays for where she lives and all of this. He said he doesn't need to get her any gifts. He said they just got her an Ottoman and all of this other stuff. He said he's not going to get thanked anyway. He said she just carries on about Beth instead.
Howard said he got a note from a psychiatrist about the Beth thing. He said even last night his mother was talking to him and she was talking about how great Beth is. He said she was talking about her taste in clothing and how great it is. He said she's so grateful to her. Howard said he wants to say that she doesn't even know Beth that well. He said they don't spend a lot of time alone together. He said they never did anything like that. He said she's building up a story about her and she's forgetting that he's the one paying for all of this stuff. He said he's in his basement toiling away with these shows.
Howard said this psychiatrist wrote him about all of this. He said he has to read it. He said this guy is a legit psychiatrist. Howard read the note he got and this guy says that some people have to pass messages along indirectly and maybe she's doing that by complimenting Beth. Howard said she used to have no problem telling him that she loves him. He said maybe this is the reason.
Howard said maybe this is it. He said who knows. Robin said he may have to take his thanks in the name of Beth. Howard said he just thinks she's saying Howard when she's saying Beth. He said even Beth can't believe it. He said she thinks that she walks on water. Howard said maybe this guy was right about the whole thing. He said maybe she just doesn't want to build him up too much.
Howard said maybe his mother thinks that without Beth he'd abandon her. He said maybe that's what it's about. Robin said maybe that's it. She said if Beth isn't there then he wouldn't be into taking care of her. Howard said he takes care of everything with his mom. He said he's a real good son he thinks. He said who knows.
Howard said he thinks he is a real good son but jeez. He said he's not going to say it. He said he's not going to say that he just met the most loving son in the world... me.
Robin said some of the families have wives who don't love the in laws so they never see their son. She said maybe that's what this is about. Howard said he'd be taking care of his mother either way. He said she just loves Beth so much though. Howard said they don't do love in his family. He said there's not much expression of love. Robin said Howard has broken that spell. Howard said he tells his daughters he loves them every day just about. He said he's very proud of them and they're terrific. He said they're the apple of his eye kind of stuff. Howard said he thinks he broke the pattern. He said that they also say they love Beth. He said his kids are really good about that stuff actually.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it sounds like he's being kind of petty about picking up the expenses for his mom. Howard said he loves paying for everything for his mother. He said it's the greatest. He said you have no idea what it's like. He said he can take his mom and take over paying the bills. He said his mom is going to out live him. He said she's going to be 400 years old.
Howard said they have called to have him on that show before but he's not going to go on and talk politics even though he agrees with them 99 percent of the time. He said he thinks they're aligned on almost everything politically. He said he'd go on the show and talk about Bruce but not get into the political thing. He said he didn't want to get into that.
The caller said the used to tape the WWOR shows and they still watch the tapes they have. He said he still has those tapes and Robin is still so gorgeous after all these yeas. Howard said he used to dress Robin back then. He said he used to put her in those tittie dresses. The caller said those shows were so hilarious. Howard said Ralph used to do the make up on those shows. He said they were great.
Howard said he liked doing Morning Joe from his basement. He said he enjoyed doing it. He said the only thing wrong was that Mika wasn't there. He said he thinks she's awesome. Robin asked if they didn't have her on because he was on. Howard said he thinks she was scheduled to be off. He said he thinks that she wanted to be there because she was texting Beth during the interview.
Howard said another weird thing about doing that show is that when you do it they have an off camera talk when you're talking to them. He said he'd be talking about something and Joe would be talking to this off camera person. He said he found it distracting.
Howard said it would have been nice if Mika was there. He said he would have enjoyed that. He said it may have gotten sexual if she was on though.
Howard said he thinks Joe was doing his show from home and Mika may have been handing him stuff. He said he likes that he knows what's going on when they do this show. He said he likes being in control.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to talk about Chris Wilding. He said he tried to defend him on air once in the past. He said Chris blocked him and so did Rahsaan when he tried defending Chris. Howard said they have a lot of young people there eon the show and they like social media. He said if he had his way he'd thrown them all off social media. He said they have a chance to step out and do this stuff. The caller said JD has a thick skin and he takes so much shit. He said he never blocks anyone. Howard said JD never even knows when he's being goofed on. JD said he does block people. He said he will block them if they're being mean. He said he won't get into it but he has had to block people who were in his life. He said they're people he knows and he has had to block them for being assholes. He said if they're only doing insults then he'll block them. The caller said that's responsible social media.
Howard said he sees that Chris has shaved. Chris said he wanted to find out what Robin thinks. Robin said he looks wonderful. Chris said he wants to talk about what was going on yesterday. He and the caller were going back and forth arguing. Chris said that when 10 people call you names and say you should die then you block them. The caller and Chris were going back and forth arguing about all of that.
Howard said do whatever you want. He said he has nothing to do with any of this. He said this is his guys on their own doing their own thing. Chris said he's not responding to anyone. He said he just blocks them. The caller said by blocking them you are interacting. Chris said he's not though. He said they're bottom feeders and he's getting away from them.
The caller was going off on Rahsaan too and asking Robin to bring her news back. Howard said he has to get a word in. The caller and Chris were still going at each other with insults. Howard said they're going to end up getting together and marrying each other. He said it'll be like a Hallmark movie. He said they hate each other but they'll end up meeting and getting together. Howard sang a song for the two to the tune of Here Comes the Bride.
Howard asked if the caller, Tim, is a good looking guy. Tim and Chris were still insulting each other.
Howard thanked Tim for the call and let him go. Howard said when Chris had his neck hair a listener sent him a picture of him as an Amish person. He said Robin will get a kick out of this. Robin said that is great. Chris said that guy is blocked now. He said it is very funny though. Chris said he won't put up with that kind of shit in his 30s. He said he put up with it in high school and he's done with it.
Howard read some fan feedback about yesterday's show where they were talking about Chris and his neck hair and more. People were saying that he has very thin skin. Chris said he can take it but he hits back.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who was apparently going off on Chris last night. Mariann said a couple of years ago Chris went off on her for her party during COVID. She said that was a private thing she posted. Chris said it's not private. Mariann said it is. She said that Chris isn't interacting with the fans very well. She said he should let it roll off his shoulders. Chris said he's not sure why she's so obsessed with him.
Howard let Mariann go. He said his staff are beautiful people. He said they're talented people. He said he yearns for the old days before social media. He said they used to go home and talk to the wall. He said then they invented this social media stuff and suddenly they don't talk to the wall.
Howard took a call from Michael Rapaport who said he's on Team Mariann From Brooklyn. Howard said he's not going to put up with them attacking Chris. Michael was going off on him too and Chris said that there are a lot of jealous people out there. He said he talks to him and then he goes on and trashes Howard on Only Murders in the Building. Howard let the two of them got at each other for a minute. Howard let Michael go so he could calm things down.
Howard said in the past the fans only had access to the staff through the show. He said now they can get in touch with them on social media. He said that's why he yearns for the old days.
Howard said when he started out there wasn't even an internet. He said there was no outside interaction. He said they kept a lid on things. Howard said his limo driver has his own Twitter account now. He said it's not easy to sleep at night. He said imagine what Ronnie is up to. He said he's doing his thing like you wouldn't believe.
Howard said he has no control over this stuff anymore. He said he used to have control over his show. He said he could control who had air time. He said it's all gone now. Robin said even the Wack Pack is all over social media. Howard said he can't control them. He said everyone has a podcast now. He said there are people who are talking to each other and they should be in jail. He said there's too much talk. He said he has 2 more years on this contract. He said he has to think this through. He said he can't be the keeper of the gate. He said the gates have been thrown open. Robin said they have 3 more years, not 2. Howard said his agent told him he has 2 more. Howard said here's how fucked up he is. He said he doesn't remember where he put the contract. He said his agent told him he has 2 more years. Robin said their contact ended in 2020 so they have to go through 2025. Howard said his agent said it was 2. He said someone had better call him because the back room guys are saying he has 3. He said Don told him it was 2. Howard said the guys say that it takes them though 2025.
Howard had Mariann from Brooklyn back on the line and she was thanking Michael Rapaport for taking her side. She said that he knows it's Chris. She said that the show is Howard's platform and he should shut them all down. Howard said enough already. He said that everyone has to calm down. He said he's lost control.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this all started with Gary on social media. He said he blocked people and now the flood gates have opened. Robin said she wasn't tracking that whole thing.
Howard said Gary did start it when he blocked him on Facebook. He said he thinks that guy made a good point there.
Gary said there was a lot of discussion about Chris on the Wrap Up Show. He said they were asking people not to be negative on the show. He said nothing crazy happened. Howard said he's not sure what's going on. He said Gary blocking him on Facebook is just crazy. Gary said he knows it was wrong. He said they have talked about that.
Howard said he and Robin talk about what Gary is up to on Facebook. Howard asked Chris if he dyed his hair red. Chris said he swears he did not color his hair. Howard said he's too sensitive. He said they have to get off of all of this.
Howard had Michael Rapaport back on the phone to go off on Chris again. Michael was trying to say something but Chris was talking over him and saying that Michael is calling him a fruit and insulting him. Howard let Michael do his thing and Chris said he really has no character. Howard said it's enough of this. He said he has to put a lid on this.
Howard said he has more fan feedback. He said the fans liked the Bigfoot Santa audition they did yesterday. He said he has a bonus clip today that the had left out. He said that this is from when they told Bigfoot that he was going to be Santa. He had a clip of Bigfoot talking to Chris who was doing his impression of Bigfoot as he was talking to him.
Howard said there you go. He asked Chris why Wolfie got all the credit on that bit. Chris said he thinks there are certain elements of the feedback team who don't give him credit. He said a lot of positive things get left out. He said he loves Wolfie though and he did a lot of the work. Howard said he loves that bit. Chris did more of his Bigfoot voice. Howard said Bigfoot doesn't even question what's going on. He said he was laughing his ass off listening to that last night. Howard said Bigfoot did not pass the Santa audition.
Howard said he has some audio of some guys with big penises talking about how hard relationships can be when you have a big penis. Howard had a couple of clips so he played those. One guy was talking about how he has issues because he can't hide his bulge even when he's not aroused.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that his interview with Bruce was incredible. He said that all the things they teach students is what Howard was doing. He said he wanted to let him know that. He said his level of preparation is great. He said they brought up John Landau early on and then Howard went into open ended questions with him about John. He said that Howard is about open listening and he's very good with that. He said the teach that in his class. Howard cut the guy off and said he understands he's teaching a class and all but he's kind of bored here with the lecture. He said that he's glad he enjoyed the interview. He said he's glad students are learning from it as well.
Howard took a call from a guy who said she dated a guy with a huge cock. Howard said now we're talking. The caller said that this guy couldn't keep a girlfriend because his cock was too big. She said the poor guy was miserable. She said the situation with that woman yesterday is that she's enjoying it. Howard said this guy had it all.
Howard asked how big this guy really was. The caller, Lisa, said he was maybe 10 inches. She said he was talking about how hard it was to find a woman. Howard said if he had a big cock like that he'd make out with a woman and he wouldn't say anything. He said he'd just let it happen. He said that he's like Superman. He said you don't complain about it. He said if he can't get women then the women are going to wonder why. He said they smell a loser there.
Howard said if he had 10 inches he'd just give a woman 5. He said you just work it. Lisa said that 5-7 is better to her. Howard said he has that. Lisa said that's fabulous. Howard said he has no complaints.
Lisa was going off on a tangent so Howard said he has to go. He said he remembers that woman. He said she lied to him and said she was a 9 but he said she was a 6. He said he knows he's a 3. He said that everyone lies about what they are.
Howard said he knows his nose is messed up. He said it's kind of gross. He said they removed a mole from it. He said that it's kind of gooey. He said it looks like snot is on it. He said it's gross.
Sal and Richard talked more about what was going on there and how the family was standing outside pointing at them as they drove by.
Howard asked Sal what made him think to ask Richard to fuck the skeleton. Sal said they were in the hotel room and all Richard was talking about was haunted houses. Howard said Richard and Sal are he real Beavis and Butt-Head. He said he's fascinated by this whole thing.
Howard asked if they think that the dad thought they were doing homosexual things in the garage. Sal said absolute. Richard said that he thinks that the guy may have thought Sal was involved. Sal said that they were halfway done with the thing so it wasn't even done yet. Richard said they may have canceled the whole thing after they left.
Sal got back to the story of how this came about. Sal said they found this thing in the paper and they had another guy with them who drove them out there. Howard said it really was like the Three Stooges. Sal said that they got there and the garage was filled with garage stuff. He said the only thing there was this skeleton on a bench. He said he was bored to tears so he just told Richard to stick his cock in the thing's mouth. He said Richard said okay and did it.
Howard said he would have called 911 if he had those guys in his garage. He said that he would have called and complained about them fucking a skeleton.
Sal said when they walked out of the garage the grandfather asked if they were scared. Sal said they were scared because the dad had found them in there. Richard said as the were leaving the family was outside looking at them and pointing at them.
Howard said not one fan wrote in about that story yesterday. He said that's what's odd. Richard said that he has a picture that Sal took there. He said he's not sure that the skeleton was in there. Howard said these people were trying to do something nice for the neighborhood and these guys showed up. Robin said that John Wayne Gacey lived out there in Chicago. Howard said they could have ended up being victims.
Howard said he has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Howard came back and talked up the song and talked about Prince a little bit. He said he probably had a big penis. He said he knew a guy who was small but had a big penis. He said he as very unassuming. Howard said the video for this song was pretty cool.
Howard said what a genius Prince was. Robin said that he didn't go to doctors though. She said he couldn't get the surgery to fix the pain he had because he'd have to have blood transfusions to save him. Howard said he loves when religious people fight over each other's religions. He said they all seem nuts.
Howard said the stories that they have for these religions are all kooky. He said he's not sure what Jehovah's Witnesses even believe. He said he's going to a doctor if he gets sick. He said that's all he knows. He said that Prince was a Jehovah's Witness and he had a lot of stuff he didn't allow at his house. He said he'd be out of there if he was invited over.
Howard said he likes it when religions make fun of other religions. He said he can't be part of one that doesn't let you go to the doctor.
Howard said Lizzo will be coming in next week. He said that she is a fascinating woman. He said he can't wait to talk to her. He said she's quite the flautist. He said that means she plays the flute.
Howard asked Robin who the best flautist is in rock and roll. Robin said Ian Anderson. Howard asked if she heard him talking to Gary. Robin said she did not. Howard said he's impressed with her then. Howard said he thought she cheated. Howard said she's 100 percent right.
Howard asked what Ian's best song is. Robin said she's not sure. Howard said it's ''Bouree.'' He said he came on the show in 1991 and did this. He played a clip of Ian doing his thing on the show.
Howard said he loves this. He said that everyone knew this song. He said this is how he goes down on a woman too. He said he makes the same sounds when he does that.
Howard asked Fred about the song ''Hocus Pocus'' by Focus. Fred said that's a good one too. He said Focus was from Amsterdam and that's where Eddie Van Halen was from. Howard played some of ''Hocus Pocus'' too.
Howard and Fred talked about that song for a short time. Howard said during this flute solo the guy went into a coma and no one ever heard from him again. He said that's pretty fast.
Howard said he's not a flute fan but Nights in White Satin was pretty cool too. He played some of that.
Howard said Lizzo plays the flute and she's world class. Robin said she got to play a famous flute in Washington DC. Howard said she's a rapper too. Howard played some of her stuff. He played her rapping and some singing too. Howard said this is her playing the flute. He played some of that.
Howard said Lizzo played a James Madison crystal flute. He had some audio of that. He said that's not bad.
Howard read more about Lizzo and played clips. He said she has an Instagram account for her flute and it has over 300,000 followers.
Howard said next week they're also doing Hollyweird Squares. He said that will happen on Wednesday. He said he has to prepare to be the announcer for that. He said that they're going to have some guests in for that. He played a promo for the game and they said Chris Mad Dog Russo will be there. Matt Friend, Ike Barinholtz, Wendy the Slow Adult, Rooster, High Pitch Erik, Fake Kanye, HungerFF and Fake Liza Minelli will be playing.
Howard said he can't wait. He said you can't find Rooster anywhere else on the radio. Howard said he can't wait to talk to Rooster and HungerFF. He said they have so many contestants.
Howard said just the behind the scenes stuff is interesting. He said everything should be recorded there.
Howard said Weird Al Yankovic will be taking over Howard 101 soon. He said they told him he could do whatever he wants. He said that he came up with a weird and wacky hour to do for you.
Robin said Sal once tapped his penis on pumpkins on the street after a Christmas party. Sal said Ralph dared him to do that so he had to. He said Robin is taking all the fun out of it.
Howard asked if Sal does his Foreskin Friday thing on Instagram. Sal said he stopped that. He said he would do things for his account with his foreskin. He said he had different things on days like Halloween. Howard said he was quite an innovator. He was dressing his penis up in costumes. Sal said he had a Gene Simmons picture that he stuck his foreskin through so it looked like his tongue.
Howard said he has to tell you about Sal's cock. He said it has worn more costumes than Lady Gaga. The caller said he has to go because he doesn't want to hear more about his cock. Howard said he bought it up.
Sal said they once painted their cocks up as the Insane Clown Posse guys and they were not happy about that. He said that they chased them out of the studio. Howard said he's not sure why he got so upset. Richard said they were in the studio with them and they thought he'd be flattered by it. He said they actually locked their office door after running out of there.
Howard said Sal once dressed his cock up like Howard Stern and he was kind of honored by that. He said he's not sure why Violent J would get upset. Howard thanked the guys for the update and let them go.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she would like for Sal to play with her pumpkin puss. She said that she'd like him to be with her. Hard said he thinks that she's saying that she wants Sal and she's not high. Sal said this is a Christmas miracle. The caller said she wants to be with Sal and Richard in a threesome.
Howard asked Sal if he ever fantasizes about calls like this. He said this chick might have them over in a threesome. Sal said it would be fun with Richard. He said he's not sure about her. Howard asked if Sal and Richard would bang her together if they were single. Richard said no. He said he likes doing stuff on the show but not a sexual type thing. He said he likes goofy stuff.
Howard asked if the caller, Amber, is hot. She said she is so hot. Howard said sometimes women lie about that. Amber said she gets everything she wants. Howard asked how old she is. She said she's 28. Richard said this has to be a goof. He said no one calls in for them like this.
Howard asked if she can give them measurements and weights and all of that. She said she's 5'3'' and she's 105 pounds. She said she has 34-C breasts. Sal said he's just thinking about cock stunts they could do with her. Amber said she would do that. She said they can get freaky together.
Howard asked what kind of work she does. Amber said she has a day job. She said she likes to do things on the side though. She said they can be her dick on demand. Howard asked if she's hot enough that she doesn't have to work. She said she has to work to keep up appearances. Howard said he's not sure what that means.
Howard asked Amber what she would want to do with the guys. She was talking about how one could fuck her in the ass and one in the vag. Sal said he could fuck her in the ass and then he'll give Richard a shit moustache. Richard said he wants nothing to do with this.
Howard took a call from fake Sal's wife who was asking her to take Sal away from her finally. Amber was getting into talking to her and saying she could lick her clit and make her squirt.
Howard let Sal's wife go and got back to Amber. He said she's really into Sal. Howard said he wishes he could see a picture of her. Amber asked for the guys to send her pictures of their cocks next to a tape measure. Richard said he's not doing that. He said Ronnie can send her the dick dildos they made for him.
Howard said he can't believe that she wants one of them in her ass and one in her vagina. Amber said she does. Howard asked if the think she can be good looking. Richard said this has to be a bit. Sal said Chris Wilding can reveal himself now. Howard said this is a legitimate call. Richard said this is the first time in 20 yeas that they've gotten a call like this. Richard was cracking up at everything Amber was saying. He said she's the worst actor he's ever heard. Howard said this is a legit thing. Richard said he's happily married and he will only stick his dick in Sal and his wife.
Howard asked if Amber can send a picture. She said they have to send one first. Richard said they're out there on the internet. He said she just has to look them up. Sal said Robin said that his dick should be exterminated. He said he's not sure she'd want that. Amber said she does.
Howard asked if Amber is masturbating now. She said she's driving to work and she is touching herself. Howard said Sal must be freaking out about this. Sal said he is. Howard let Amber go a short time later. He said she's a very lovely girl. Richard said that was weird. He said Howard weirded him out. Howard asked why. Richard said it's nice if it was legitimate but it's weird to hear that someone is attracted to them.
Sal said that Richard has a policy to only get naked with him on the show. He said no one else. Richard said he'd do it with Benjy too. He said that he has to do it with guys on the show and his wife is okay with it. He said anything else is off limits.
Howard took a call from a guy calling from a mental institution warning that there's a crazy woman on the loose who they should avoid. He was referring to Amber of course.
Gary said Sal and Richard really don't care about getting naked. He said Sal is so proud when he does it too. Sal said that he jacked off in the room with Richard in the room with him while he was sleeping. Richard said he got so pissed when he found that out. Sal said he jerked off into his own shirt. He said the next morning he left the shirt there all crusted up. He said he got a call from Craig Gass who had picked up his shirt thinking he left it behind. He said it was in his luggage.
Howard said he thought that story was kind of weird. He said Richard was nude in the bed. Richard said they used to share rooms even if they were offered separate rooms. Sal said he'd pack DVD porn and he would just look at the back of the cover to jack off. He said he didn't have a DVD player to use in the room.
Howard said he was going to ask what's going on with these two. He said they're always doing weird stuff. Gary said he thinks that Richard is like nature boy. He said he was raised in the wild almost. He asked Richard if he has ever had sex with a guy in the bed next to him. Richard said sort of. He said he can't talk about that. He said he's happily married now. He said that was back at K-Rock. Richard said he doesn't want to get into it.
Gary said Richard was brought up kind of feral. He said Sal he doesn't understand. He asked what the reason was for them to go to the bathroom together to pee together. Sal said that was Richard's idea. He said he thought it would be fun. He said he did too. Richard said they wanted to go at the same time so they could make prank calls at the same time. He said it was just a thing to do. Sal said he'd shake his penis and get it on Richard. He said he made sure to shake it off second so he didn't get it on Richard.
Howard asked why not stop after getting urine on your face. He said what might be happening is that they missed out on male relationships or male companionship and they're living out some sort of closeness that men won't go to. He said he's not sure what this is.
Richard said he had the same thing with his friend back in Kansas. He said he and his friend would do this kind of thing. He said he has always bonded with his friends. Howard asked what he's looking for though. He said he must want some kind of male bonding or something. Sal said Richard just wanted him with him for his bachelor party. He said they did things together and it was just the two of them. Richard said they went into a hot tub in Atlantic City and they were talking to a guy in the hot tub and he was getting too close to them. He said they felt uncomfortable and left.
Howard said men are less likely to want emotional support from other men. He said maybe this is some kind of highly evolved behavior. Howard asked if they are gay. Robin said she doesn't know. She said this is a relationship they couldn't have with a bunch of guys. She said this is bonding them in a way that separates them from any other relationship they might have.
Sal and Richard said they love each other like no one else in the world. Howard asked Sal if he had to save Richard's life by fucking him in the ass. He asked if he would do that. Sal said he would do anything to save his life. Richard said he doesn't think of Sal as sexual. He said he was freaked out when Sal came on his Chiefs cap earlier in the year. He said that really freaked him out.
Howard said he thinks he has it figured out. He said they're so regressed that they're operating on a 5 year old level. Robin said that must be it. She said everything is at a 5 year old level with them.
Howard said Richard has a long history of acting like this. He said he has his friend on the phone now. He took the call from fake Richard's friend which turned out to be clips of Richard Simmons. Howard had a discussion with the clips for a short time.
Howard said that is the origin story of Sal and Richard. Robin said they had that movie ''Call Me By My Name'' and that was the kind of relationship that the father talks about in the movie. She said that Richard may still have that bond with the friend from his childhood.
Howard said Dr. Drew told Jon Leiberman what he thinks about Sal and Richard and you can hear that on A Hard Look tomorrow on Howard 101.
Howard said he's going to play some clips and sound effects and see if Robin and the guys can figure them out.
Howard said they had some great musical performances over the year. He said Bruce Springsteen was one. He played clips from Bruce, Post Malone, Charlie Puth, Harry Styles, Sheryl Crow, Billy Corgan, Perry Farrell, Imagine Dragons, Machine Gun Kelly and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Howard said what a year it was.
Howard said now he's going to play some sound clips and they have to figurer out what they were. Howard had all the guys on to play along.
Howard played a sound drop which was from one of the most disgusting phony phone calls they've ever made. Robin said she already knows what it is. Howard played it and Gary said that's his dick against the phone. Richard said it was Fisty Gary. Chris said it was actually HungerFF's ass meat up against the phone. Howard said that's right. Howard said that was Fisty Gary calling HungerFF and having him slap his ass meat against the phone. Howard played some of that call. They talked about how they'll be meeting that guy next week.
Howard played a sound drop where they had fake Jennifer Witz laughing. Chris knew what that was right away. Howard played the segment that clip came from. Howard had fake Jennifer come on with him and she was still laughing like a witch. Howard spent a little time talking to fake Jennifer about what the company is up to. They played up fake Jennifer's laugh and drove that bit into the ground.
Howard played another sound drop from a TV event from 2022. Howard played the clip and it was a short one of a person singing. Chris said this is too easy. He said that was the lady who won the Emmy for best Actress Sheryl Lee Ralph. Howard said he's right. Howard said this is one of his favorite moments from the year. He said this woman got up and just started singing. He said if he wins he's going to do the same thing. He played the clip from the Emmy Awards where Sheryl sang about being an endangered species.
Howard said that was so wild. Robin asked if she got to say thank you to people after taking time to do that. Howard said he thinks she had time and she even sang more. Hard said he'd get up and sing ''I... beat all of you losers...''
Howard played another clip and it was a multiple choice. Howard played the clip of one of Ronnie's vibrators. Richard and Chris knew what it was. It was a vibrating egg that Ronnie shoves in his ass. Howard asked what Ronnie does with that thing. Ronnie said it's a vibrator. He said he doesn't use it anymore. He said he wasn't crazy about it. Howard played the clip from the show where they discussed it.
Howard asked why Ronnie gave it up. Ronnie said he didn't like the shape of it. He said it was too round. Howard asked how much of it he got in his asshole. Ronnie said just the tip of it. Sal said he probably looked like he was giving birth.
Howard said he thinks Ronnie is out of sex tips. He said that he was making up stuff about shoving things up his ass and shoving things in the wife's pussy. He said he has to admit that he ran out of things. Ronnie asked what he's talking about. Howard said he'll play some of these tips. He said everything is just going in his asshole. Ronnie asked where he wants it to go. Howard said just listen to this. Howard said he has this frozen Egg Nog dildo thing.
Howard played a sex tip where Ronnie talked about making these ice cubes made of egg nog and then shoving them into your woman's pussy and eat them out of there. Howard asked how you cut the ice in half. Ronnie said you slice the ice. Howard asked how you do that. Ronnie said you can slice egg nog when it's frozen. Ronnie was explaining how you do it with old school ice trays that you can take apart. He said then you split it into strips. Howard asked if Ronnie has ever done that. Ronnie told him not to worry about what he's done. The guys were doing their impression of Ronnie and goofing on him. Everyone was talking over each other.
Howard said that this one is about a Christmas themed costume. He said maybe Ronnie should give up. He said he's run out of tips. Howard played the clip and Ronnie talked about getting a costume and then you eat your girl out and you get the juices in your beard and then the woman wears it so she gets his stuff in the beard.
Howard said he has to say something. He said that the Ronnie Puppet has the new Ronnie glasses on. He said this is fantastic. Fred did his Ronnie Puppet thing for a short time. Ronnie said he has a video of this. He said he did the sex tip in a beard and everything. Richard asked if he has done that beard thing. Ronnie said don't worry about it.
Howard said this is another one where Ronnie has a food thing going on with the sex tip. He said it involves a chocolate truffle ball. Howard played the clip and Ronnie talked about sticking this thing in the asshole of the other person. Howard said he has to stop this. He said that's a good way to eat a turd. Ronnie said it's not all the way in the asshole. He said it's like a butt plug. He said just listen to the thing. Howard played more of the clip and Ronnie talked about nibbling on the chocolate and how good it feels.
Howard said that was very inclusive. He said everyone has an asshole so anyone can do that. He said it can get confusing in there though. Ronnie said you don't go all the way in. He said it's just in the beginning of the ass. He said there's no shit there. Chris said sure there is. Richard said he loves how angry Ronnie gets over this. Howard said he put a lot of work into this.
Chris said this is just like the other tip but just with Chocolate. Howard said all he does is take a weird thing and put it in the ass.
Howard said first it was egg nog and now it's chocolate. He said last year it was a candy cane. He played that clip from last year where he talked about sticking a candy cane up your girl's pussy so it tingles. He said then you put it in her asshole. He said when you're done you have a candy cane that tastes like your guy.
Howard said he has a Hanukkah sex tip too. He didn't want to leave anyone out. Ronnie had a tip about using mouthwash before doing oral. Howard played the Hanukkah tip and Ronnie suggested using a dreidel to spread your woman's legs open and then you find her clitoris and put some lube on the tip and then spin it on her clit. Robin said there's no way a dreidel spins on a clit. Ronnie said she doesn't know that.
Howard was doing his Ronnie voice and coming up with more crazy tips. He was inserting all kinds of weird stuff into people. Gary asked if Ronnie ever has regular sex. Ronnie said sure he has missionary. Howard was doing more of his sex tips as Ronnie. He had a bunch of weird stuff he was coming up with.
Howard said Gary was in a room next to Ronnie and he heard him going at it with his girl. Gary said he went for a long time too. He said she was screaming while Ronnie was doing her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a doctor and he was saying that if you messes with a dreidel it'll end up in the ass and you'll end up in the hospital. The caller said that the Santa beard thing was weird because it sounded like it was man on man both times. Ronnie said they cut it wrong then. Howard said he was doing unisex sex tips. He said maybe just stick to girls. He said maybe the gay listeners can do things on their own.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she has learned so much from the show. She said she's excited that her youngest is old enough to listen to the show now. Howard asked if he's 50. She said he's 14. Chris said ''Oh no...'' Howard asked if he's learning from the sex tips. Howard let her go before she could answer.
Howard said he has one more mystery sound to play. He said they've had a lot of strange stuff on the show. He asked who is moaning in these clips. Howard played one where a woman was moaning. Gary said that might be Debbie the Cum Lady blowing High Pitch Erik. Howard said he's right. Howard said she spent 3 days doing that and Erik was unable to cum. Howard played the clip and Erik had to take a break. Howard said Debbie never did get him to finish. She got zero cum after 3 days of doing that.
Howard said this is a sound that came before a moan. He played the clip and it was a slapping sound. Richard asked if that's Michael Rapaport spanking him. Howard said he's right. He played a clip from that day.
Howard said he has more game to play but he's going to stop it there. He said all good things have to come to an end. He said he's going to end the show now. He said they have so much going on next week so tune in for the fun. He said they'll have Hollyweird Squares and more. He asked Robin who she's looking forward to. Robin said Ike Barinholtz because she can't wait to see his expression when he's with all of those other people. Howard asked if there's any chance that they can have Gary turn into Fisty Gary and get something going with HungerFF. Gary said he's ready to roll.
Howard said they had a lot going on this week and it will continue next week. He wrapped up and ended the show around 10:25am.