Howard said it's really nice. Robin said she doesn't usually wear bright colors so this is something different for her. Howard said she looks great. Robin said he does too. She said they haven't seen each other in a while. Howard said good morning to everyone. Fred played a few Lenny Dykstra clips for Robin.
Howard said maybe they should have had him on the Drew Barrymore dating game. He said you never know if they could be a couple. He said he's treating this dating game very seriously. Robin said she was thinking about the dating game and what might happen. Howard said she could end up being Drew Dykstra. He said you never know what she might dig. He said maybe she'd go for it. Robin said maybe she's looking for a guy with no teeth who is good at oral.
Howard said someone died last week and she was an old friend of the show. He said it was Judy Tenuta. He said she passed away. Robin said she read up about what she has been doing the past few years. Howard said he wasn't in touch with her. He said she died at the age of 72 after battling ovarian cancer. Howard said she was on the show a lot. Robin said she's guessing she was on 15 times. Howard said it's 29.
Howard read some details about Judy's life and about how many times she was on the show between 1988 and 1995. He said she did commercials for Dr. Pepper and MTV. He said that's how she found her fame. He said you'd think they would have known this stuff about her after being on the show so many times.
Howard played some audio of Judy doing a bit about Dr. Ruth and oral sex. Howard and Robin talked about how they remember Judy on the show. Robin said that Howard had her on the Channel 9 show. Howard said she was a nice woman so he was upset to hear this. He said he didn't know that she was sick.
Robin said she used to go out on the road with Emo Phillips. Howard said she got mad at him once for talking about how they were married. He said they were secretly married. He said one of the fans sent them a marriage certificate for them and she got so upset when he brought it up on the show. He said she stormed out and cursed on the air. Howard played a clip from that day when she freaked out and cursed a couple of times on terrestrial radio.
Howard said he didn't know it was a secret. He said he loved both of them so he asked her about it. He said he didn't know that was going to set her off.
Howard said his father was old but he died in the worst way. He said it's just crazy. He said his mother is going through a lot now too. He said he sees her all fucked up. He said she lost all her hair. He said that bums her out. Robin asked when that happened. She thought she just had her hair done recently. Howard said one of the lovely nurses came in and said that she could help with her scalp. He said it was very dry. He said she got a scalp treatment. He said she had COVID and she must have long COVID. He said it's not good.
Howard said his mother is always in pain and she has to take morphine. He said she thinks she's getting addicted. Howard said if were her he'd be taking a double dose. Howard said it's really bad.
Howard said his father was on morphine at the end and she associates that with dying. He said she doesn't like taking it because of that. He said she thinks the morphine killed his dad but it just helped him go smoothly.
Howard said he has these three angels helping his mother. He said they help with her and he has doctors and helpers around her. He said when there's a lot of people fussing over her she likes it. He said it's like she's getting the mothering she didn't get when she was little. He said she lays in bed all day like a baby and people are in and out taking care of her. He said he's happy she's getting that attention and he can afford it. He said he only has to work another 30 years to pay it all off.
Howard said it's crazy what's going on. He said that guy Bernard they worked with died of prostate cancer. He said that freaked him out because he thought they could get that diagnosed quickly. Gary said there's some story about how he wasn't getting his regular checkups. He said that Ronnie won't get a colonoscopy and he wishes he would because you can find out if you're getting cancer. He said it upsets him.
Howard said Ronnie won't get that done but he'll stick stuff up his ass. He said his ass is open for anyone but doctors. Robin said it's funny he won't do that.
Howard said he used to go to the doctor every year and get a finger up his ass. He said his doctor said he had to do it to feel his prostate. He said his doctor retired and the next doctor didn't put his finger up his ass. He said he asked about it and he said he would do it if he wanted him to. He said he's not a doctor and he's thrilled he wasn't doing that but it concerns him that he's not doing it. He said he said they don't need to do this any longer because they're able to check it by blood tests. He said he went to another doctor and asked about the finger up the ass and he said they don't need to do it anymore. He said he was talking to a buddy the other day and he had prostate cancer. He said he had his removed. He said he asked how he found out he had cancer. He asked if it was a blood test. He said this friend told him it was the doctor sticking his finger up his ass and saying it didn't feel right. He said they caught it in time. Howard said he's wondering why he's not getting the finger up his ass. Robin said he's going to have to ask for it. Howard said he's going to have to find someone who is good at it. He said he doesn't want to die from it like Bernard did.
Howard said he asked someone about it and he told him he should get the finger up the ass. He asked Robin to do it. Howard said Fred went and he requested a whole fist up his ass.
Howard asked Fred if he gets the finger up the ass. Fred said he does. He said he gets a colonoscopy as well. He said the doctor told him he has the colon of an 18 year old. Robin asked what that means. Howard said he was told he eats too many cucumbers. He said they found a million seeds in there. He said his daughter told him to eat them so he was. He said he was going overboard with it though. He said that's embarrassing.
Howard said his friend told him that his PSA level was normal and the doctor stuck his finger up his ass and they found he had prostate cancer. He said now he's fine. Howard said he went to an expert who told him they don't need to stick fingers up the ass and they can test with the PSA thing. Howard said he's going to call the doctor today and talk to him about his friend. He said he's not looking for the finger up his ass. He said he's kind of upset that doctors have rejected sticking a finger up there.
Howard said his doctor retired and he used to love going to him. He said he was a friend of his. He said he had a lovely doctor and he retired to become a ventriloquist. He said he swears to god he did that. He said he told him he's a doctor so he should continue that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that there are a couple of reasons they don't do the finger thing. He said sometimes when you do an exam and find something it doesn't mean that you'll live longer. He said he's a gynecologist. Howard asked the caller about his friend and how the doctor found something off and they took a scan and found cancer. The caller said that prostate cancer is so slow growing that the PSA test can show it just as well as if he found it by the physical exam.
Howard took a call from another guy who said that you should be getting a prostate exam every year. He said 25 percent of prostate cancers are found by the physical exam. Robin said they should do both. The caller agreed that you should do both.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that the other guy was right about the PSA test. He said that should tell you if something is going on. He went over how the PSA test works and how they can see if something is going on by those numbers.
Howard said his friend claims his PSA number was normal and the doctor found the problem with his exam. The caller said the problem with the rectal exam is that you can't feel the whole prostate. He said you can only feel about 2/3 of it. He said the PSA is the major thing. Howard thanked him for the call. He said this guy is a doctor in Massachusetts so he must know better. He said the best are in New York and Los Angeles. Robin said there are others around that are good as well. Howard said he hadn't heard that before.
Howard said he hears family members who go to doctors in Alabama and he says ''Nice knowing ya!'' Robin said people will travel a long way to find a good doctor. Howard said you do have to get to New York or somewhere like that if you want good doctors. Robin said she knew someone who came to New York every 3 weeks to get cancer treatments. Howard said you don't fuck around. He said when you die there's nothing around. He said you wants to live as long as you can. He said he's trying to stay in the game.
Howard said he had a friend who got her boob job down in Texas. He said he told her to get them done in New York. He said this was like last year. He said you have to be fucking kidding him to get them done down there. He said people come from Texas to New York to get them fixed.
Howard took a call from a woman who said her husband had a PSA in May and then in August he had a biopsy done. She said they didn't feel anything when they went in there but now he's under treatment. Howard said he had an elevated PSA and they found something. She said they didn't feel anything but they did find it after the PSA. Howard said they should just do both.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he's a doctor and a prostate expert. He said he and Robin are correct and they should get both done. He said that the PSA and the rectal exam should be done. He said you can have a normal PSA and that can look normal and if you have a fast growing cancer it may not show up. He said there are some cancers that are aggressive. He said you should get both things done.
Howard asked why his doctors aren't putting their fingers up his ass. The caller said that if they don't do it frequently then they may not have a sensitive finger. Howard said there you go.
Robin asked if there is a set standard. The doctor told a story about a study that came out about it and they changed the study after so there are some doctors who don't think you have to screen for it.
Howard said if you get cancer you should come to New York. He had another caller on the line who said he's a doctor and he thinks there are good doctors all over. Howard said he thinks the best are in New York and L.A. The caller said there are many out there doing great jobs all over. Howard said he's prejudiced to doctors in L.A. and New York.
Howard said he has another doctor on the phone who says don't get a finger up your ass. He took the call and the caller said that it can be a dangerous thing but if you get a finger in the ass you may look gay so don't take anything rectally. It was a fake caller of course. He said the number of knuckles shows how gay you really are. Robin said that if you get the whole finger in there then you're really gay. The caller said that Ronnie may get made fun of if he gets it done. Howard said they get it, it's a joke.
Howard said he was entertained by this. He said Ronnie did an autograph signing at a race in Las Vegas. He said he saw a promo. Ronnie said he drove the pace car too. He said it was a short track so he didn't go that fast. He said it was like 25 or 30. Howard said he could do that.
Howard said he saw this promo sheet for Ronnie's appearance and they had a picture of him from like 15 years ago. He said he looked good. He said he looked handsome. He said Jason took the picture. He said he looks like Tom Cruise. He said the people who showed up must not have recognized him. Ronnie told him to stop it. He said he did his autograph session with Kurt and some other drivers.
Howard asked if people were wondering who he was. He said they must not recognize him if they don't know the how. Ronnie said no one said anything. He said they were all taking his autograph. He said not one person asked who he was.
Howard asked what he signed. Ronnie said it was that picture he was talking about. He said he signed almost a whole box. He said he's not sure how many that was. Ronnie said that Kurt signed the most. Robin said that the people must have thought Ronnie was the first race car driver ever. Howard said maybe they thought he was the guy who invented the tire.
Howard said they should have had someone off the street signing pictures and see if people took them. He said people who go to those events might be kind of stupid. He said maybe not stupid but they're not into intellectual events. Ronnie said not everyone sits around playing chess all day. He said talk about being bored. Howard said he thinks that people just show up and collect pictures. He said they don't know who these people are but they take them. He said he thinks they could have done this and just had someone show up off the street and see if they get people to take the autographs. Ronnie said he's not going to do that. He asked how they went from his ass to this.
Howard continued to goof on Ronnie doing the autograph signing thing. Howard was cracking himself up with his jokes about his age.
Howard said he's going to fire his whole staff for not getting someone out there to do this. He said he should have had Jon Blitt out there. He said he's sure if Blitt stood there and handed out his autograph people would have taken it. He said people will take anything. Ronnie said there was a big line out there. Howard said this is why people voted for Trump. He said they don't care if he lied about winning the election. He said people are forgetting what it's like to have a dictator in charge. He said people are willing to throw it all away on a guy like Hershel Walker. Robin said there's something really wrong with that guy. She said it's like someone from an institution. She said that people are supposed to vote for someone who isn't an idiot. Howard said he flashed a fake sheriffs badge. Ronnie said he's like Elvis. Howard said its one of those badges to get out of traffic violations. He said it's crazy.
Howard said you can steal government documents and get away with it. He said they can't charge him over that stuff. He said no one knows what to do. He said it's hysterical.
Robin said she watched some of the presidential debate from Brazil and it's crazy. She said the previous President bought 51 houses with cash. She said that this guy had a list of things the guy was using government credit cards for.
Robin asked if she still has her morning routine. Howard said no. He said she used to but not anymore. He said she doesn't even believe there's anything when you die. He said she's over all of that.
Howard said his brother in law went to visit his mom. He said Peter is a really good guy. He said he considers him a brother. He said that he got her this foot bath thing. He said his mom was telling him about that. He said he's just happy when anyone finds something for her. He said he has to do so much for her that he likes to hear when someone else does something.
Howard said his mom told him that Peter read her an article about his father. Howard asked where it was. He said she told him it was in a magazine. He asked what magazine it was. She couldn't hear him.
Howard was doing his impression of his mom and going back and forth trying to get more information out of her. He went on and on about this article and how he was trying to find out where it came from.
Howard said this was on Saturday night. He said it just went on and on. He said he was going out of his mind. He said he told her that he would ask Peter about the article at some point. He said he has no idea what it was. He said he doesn't really give a shit about the article. He said she'll forget about it anyway.
Robin said she read about this woman who was 122 years old and she quit smoking like 6 years ago. She said that she said her hands were shaking so she wasn't able to light them for her. Robin said that she didn't like asking people to light them for her. Howard said his friend Dr. Lou has a 102 year old mother and she still lives on her own.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said this Hershel Walker makes him so angry. He said he will answer a question and he can't even count. He said he'll go from one to his third point but he misses one. Howard said Trump showed you can be a total fucking prick and get away with it. He said this guy Walker just lies and gets away with it. He said in the past you'd never get away with the stuff they get away with now. He said it would be the end of you but now it's like fuck you, fuck the country and you don't like the system anymore.
Ralph said this guy Walker is running against is a normal guy and he's running against a fucking idiot. Howard said politics used to be sort of normal. He said then Trump came around and now it's just crazy stuff. He said he likes waking up in the morning and not hearing about the wacky stuff the president is doing. He said it's nice having a president like Biden. Robin said there's a lot of crazy stuff going on around the world.
Howard said he doesn't want to get into politics because he knows there are people who disagree with him. Ralph said those people are idiots.
Howard said the country is really nutty and you know that because there was a line of people lining up to get Ronnie's autograph. Robin said she'd vote for him over a lot these yahoos out there. Howard said he wouldn't.
Howard said William Shatner is now saying that his trip into space made him depressed. He said all he saw was death. Howard said he appreciates him saying that. He said there is no other life out there. He said it's cold and dark and there's nothing else. He said this planet is a miracle. He said this little planet is in the perfect place to have what we have. He said that over thousands and millions of years life formed. He said it's evolved to the point where we have all of this stuff. He said Shatner said the beauty isn't out in space, it's down here on this planet. He said he doesn't want to leave it behind.
Howard said meanwhile Putin is attacking Ukraine and he's shocked that our CIA hasn't figured out a way to stop this guy yet. Robin said they tried with Castro many times and never got him. Howard said he was hoping that Stephen Seagal was going to be a secret agent and take him out himself. He said he wants a John Wick or a Chuck Norris out there.
Howard said they have so much to get to today. He went into a live commercial read and took a break.
Howard came back and gave some info about the Lemonheads cover of Mrs. Robinson. He said it's a Paul Simon song and they covered it. Howard ran through some other details about the song. He said it was originally Mrs. Roosevelt but they changed it for the movie The Graduate.
Howard said he's watching Interview with the Vampire on AMC. He said it's really good. He said he doesn't see any down side to being a vampire. He said it seems like some vampires have a problem with it. He said he recommends the show.
Robin said she's watching the Let the Right One In series and she's not sure if she's liking it. She said she also saw the second season of Big Shots with John Stamos. She said that's good. Howard said he likes that show too. He said there's no controversy and it's so Disney. He said it's good. He said it doesn't upset him and he can go right to sleep after.
Howard said he's watching a show on Netflix called Virgin River. He said that's a good one too. He said everyone is nice and that's all he wants before bed.
Howard said he got the advance copy of Bachelor in Paradise and that's really good. He said the pulled a switcheroo with the women and sent the women off while they brought in new girls. He said he doesn't get how these people can fall in love in 3 days. He said they cry hysterically over this stuff. Robin said there are people who do that. She said they fall in love very quickly. Howard said he knows.
Howard said he was looking online and he sees that Heidi Klum did a photo shoot with her daughter Leni. He said they did a lingerie shoot together. He said that Heidi has a great look and there's no question there. He said his problem with her wasn't about her looks. He said she'd annoy him but that was it. He said she looked great doing it.
Howard said Heidi and her daughter are in panties and bras and the panties are so high up they're basically naked. He said look it up and see. He said it's so inappropriate and so wrong. He said Heidi is a lot of fun and so out there. He said she's 49 years old with that body. Robin said even the photographer had to be wondering what he was doing wrong. Howard said he gives it a 10 out of 10 boners score.
Howard said he wondered what's wrong with Heidi to frolic around with her daughter like that. Howard said maybe she's a genius though. He said she has 10 million Instagram followers. He said she hired a team to help her. He said she planned this like an invasion of Poland. He said Leni was a little kid when he was on America's Got Talent. He said she was one of those kids who used to try to sit in his seat. He said she doesn't annoy him now. He said she's 18 now. He said they must have gotten her right into panties and bra as soon as she turned 18.
Howard read what Heidi wrote about the pictures she posted. Robin said she's so wacky. Howard said she must be good in bed though.
Howard took a call from fake Heidi and Leni. The two were talking about how they should lean in and touch nipples and things like that. Fake Heidi said they should show some side meat too down below.
Howard asked Fred what he thinks of those pictures. Howard said he thinks he could whack it to those pictures. He said there is video too. He said they shot a commercial together. He said they seem to be hugging and pushing back and they're not sure what they want to do. Howard asked Fred again. Fred said he thinks it's fine in Heidi world but in the real world it's really fucked up. He said she likes to exploit everything and everyone. He said if the daughter agreed to do it then it must be okay.
Howard said as soon as you turn 18 you get tremendous wisdom. Robin said you just throw them the keys to the car and tell them to do what they want.
Howard asked Fred if he's so against it then why is he masturbating to it. Fred said you can't blame him. He said Gary would have a boner right now.
Howard thanked Fred for that. He said he and Fred shared a hotel room once. Fred said he thinks he wore jeans and sneakers to bed. He said that they did that because they had put out an album and they got them a hotel room to go out and promote it. Howard said he remembers one window and a train rolling by the window. Fred said it was a bad scene. Howard said the only bonus was that they got to sleep in the same room. He said he thought maybe he'd get to see his shlong but there were no gay antics that night. Fred said that's right, nothing at all.
Howard said he thinks Heidi must be good in bed. He said if that's the case then why did Seal dump her. Robin said she's had a few men in her life and none of them seem to stick. Howard said he got the vibe that she wanted him. He said he sent out the vibe that he didn't want her though. He said he doesn't know for sure but that's the feeling he got. He said he can catch a vibe sometimes. He said he thinks in terms of the bedroom antics she'd be wild. He said she dresses in a nurses outfit for her boyfriend. He said that he got crazy from her hanging out at America's Got Talent. He said she's been married 3 times. He said maybe she's not great in bed. He doesn't know.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that the pictures are amazing. He said the daughter is even more beautiful than her mom. He said he doesn't think that he's off about Heidi at America's Got Talent. He said there was an attraction there. Howard said he bases it on Heidi wanting to meditate with him. He said she wanted him to teach her. He said if he did that who knows what would have happened. Robin said he would have meditated right out of his marriage. Howard said Beth was too important to him. He said he wants to be fair so he's not sure if she wanted him or not. He said it could have been just meditation. Ralph said Howard is her type so that's why he's thinking it was real.
Ralph said she probably drove him nuts because he thought about how he could have had her. Howard said what drove him nuts about her was her singing next to him all the time. He said he'd be sitting there and she'd start singing ''Ring My Bell'' all the time. He said she would turn toward him and do it. He said she knew she was making him nuts.
Ralph said she drove him nuts. He said Howard was on the microphone and said that she said driving him nuts. He didn't care he was on microphone. Howard said he was the one who wore an ear piece so the producers could get them to do stuff. He said he would ask her to stop singing and tell her that he had the producers in his ear and she had to stop singing so he could hear them and they could hear what was going on out there. He said he got her to stop for little while. He said he hates to lie so the following week he told Heidi how he got her to stop singing. He said she never stopped singing after that. He said maybe that was her way of flirting.
Robin said Heidi is amazing because how many kids has she had and she still has that body. Howard said now she's doing almost naked photo shoots with her daughter. He said she gives people what they want on her Instagram. He said she posted video of herself eating cake that was on her crotch when she reached 10 million followers.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has seen pictures of Heidi and she's using a lot of make up. Howard said she's hot. He said you can't take that away from her. He said she's 49. Ralph said he'd like to see what this guy looks like. The caller said he's a bus driver out in Arizona and he loves the SiriusXM app.
Howard said the shirt looks nice when he's sitting down but he still looks a little large when he stands up. He said he should let that shirt out a bit.
Howard asked Jason what the shoot was like and how that went. Jason said he shot it on Wednesday. He said there was a lot of things they wanted him to cover so he did that with them. Howard said they wanted some conversational stuff. Jason said they did and he talked about what it was like being fat and being made fun of. He said they had rented a house and he went walking around shooting stuff in this house.
Howard said Jason did this on his own too. He said he paid for it. Jason said that's right. He said he did it all on his own. Howard said Nutrisystem has Jason and weight Watchers has Oprah. He said Jason is a better spokesperson than Oprah. He said he lost 88 pounds and Oprah is still fat. He said Jason is the better spokesperson based on that.
Ralph said Weight Watchers has James Corden too and he's still pudgy. Howard said it's sort of like what's going on with the Trumpies and the ''fake news'' thing. He said Weight Watchers gets fat people. He said James has lost some weight though. He said Jason has lost a lot though. Jason said it is pretty shocking when he shows his old pants. Ralph said that Jason wasn't miserable. Howard said he really was. He said he enjoyed going to stuff like Pig Island and stuff but he knows that he was miserable. He said he wasn't able to walk. Jason said nothing felt comfortable on him. He said he pretended not to care in his 20s but in his 30s he just felt bad.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who told Jason he did such a great job. She said that she's so happy for him. Mariann also said that Heidi was one of the nicest people at America's Got Talent. She said she has nothing against that photo shoot. She said every mother wants a Kardashian empire. Howard asked if she has a daughter. Mariann said she does. Howard asked what the chances are of getting them in some lingerie. Mariann said zero point zero. She said she doesn't have that figure. She said she's 64 and maybe 30 years ago she would have done it. She said her daughter looks great. Ralph said they should get her in some lingerie then. Mariann said she'll smack Ralph so stop it. Howard asked how old her daughter is. Mariann said she's 30 and she's not married. Howard said she should hook her up with a shoot. Ralph said that Mariann doesn't have to wear a bikini. He said she could cover up. Howard said they can do a shoot for them. He let her go a short time later.
Robin said she got back into She Hulk. Howard said he forgets that show is on because it comes out once a week. He said he was trying to watch The Voice but it's so bad. He said that show just isn't good. He said they have to be losing ratings. He said they waste 10 minutes arguing about the singers. He said he forgets about She Hulk being on. He has to leave to go watch the finale now. He said he's too busy for all of this.
Howard said this Dr. Phil is up to this weird thing. He said he weaves product plugs into his show now. He said he has some examples. He said it's nuts. He said he thought this was kind of interesting. He said during one episode his wife spoke with a woman who lost her son and the woman was given some of her skin care products to deal with her grief. He said this is weird. He said Dr. Phil makes like 90 million a year with this show and he's got to do this?
Howard played a clip of Dr. Phil's wife giving this giving woman a box of her shit. Then Dr. Phil runs down a list of the stuff she was given. Howard said this woman is grieving the loss of her son and they're giving her skin care products and plugging them on the show.
Howard said Dr. Phil also plugs game apps in his show. He said he's doing an episode on college athletes accused of rape and in the final segment he interviews a woman who had nothing to do with the rape story but then they plug the game stuff. He said Dr. Phil gives her a plug for this Best Fiends app. Howard played a clip of this woman and Phil cramming the plug into the show.
Howard said this is another clip of women talking about this game Best Fiends on Dr. Phil's show. They were cramming in another plug for this game and it was an obvious ad for it. Howard said there's no worse name for an app than Best Fiends.
Howard and Robin pretended to plug stuff like Dr. Phil was doing on his show. Howard said there's another game called Solitaire Grand Harvest that he plugs. He said he claimed that a woman lost weight playing the game. He played another clip from Phil's show. Then Phil plugs it like it's helping people with their health.
Howard said during another ad Dr. Phil just told people to take a brain break and play that game to do that.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Dr. Phil who explained the plugs on his show by plugging a game. He told Howard to take out his phone and download one of the games he heard or another one he threw in there called Bingo Blitz. Howard said why not tell people to take a brain break by watching Dr. Phil. Howard said what he does is meditate. Dr. Phil said that's more of an overrated nap. He went into his ad for the Bingo Blitz thing but Howard cut him off and closed the door on him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is a good driver and he wants to drive for him anytime. He said he doesn't have to give anything. Howard hung up on him. He said he's a nice guy.
Howard said when they left the whole thing collapsed. He said they treated them like shit when they were there. Robin said Howard made his pronouncements and they made their's. She said they said he was going to be irrelevant and go away. Howard said they even sued him. He said that was really fucked up. Gary said that they also said that they were going to replace Howard with David Lee Roth and he was going to rule the airwaves.
Howard said when the worked for Mel they did great. He said he has no ill will with Infinity broadcasting but the whole thing collapsed when they left. He said he chooses to look at it like ''Look at how great I am.'' Robin said they sued Howard.
Howard said he doesn't get why they're changing to news and simulcasting an AM station on FM. Gary said he has a Tesla and he wanted to listen to an AM station but they don't have AM in a Tesla. He said the AM stations are now broadcasting on FM. He said they have multiple channels on FM.
Howard asked Gary to explain the Yankees, Mets, Giants and Jets. Gary went through the Mets information and said they're out after a great season. He said they fell apart at the end. He said their pitching and hitting just stopped at one point. Howard said maybe the season is too long. Gary said it's 7 months. Howard said that's a long time. Gary said they have a new format for the playoff's. He said the Yankees had to win last night and tonight to stay in it.
Jon Hein got in on the conversation and said the Mets choked. Jon and Gary were talking about the teams that might make it and how the Yankees are still barely in it.
Howard and Gary spent a little time talking about the Mets. Gary said the Giants and Jets are having a good season so far. Jon said that the Jets are on a nice run now. He said the Giants are winning but they have an easy season. He said it's not how you start though, it's how you finish.
Howard asked Gary if he feels like its a giant waste of time watching the Mets. Gary said yes. He said if they would have played 3 games hard fought and went extra innings he could live with that. He said the playoffs were boring. He said it never felt good from the get go. He said he and his son text all day long and the both think the whole season was a waste of their time.
Howard asked about the Giants and how they got good. Gary said it's coaching. Jon agreed.
Howard asked what happened with Tom Brady's meltdown. He said he saw he was at Robert Kraft's wedding. He asked if they think he's going to burn out. Jon got into that and said that Brady was at a wedding on a Friday night and then had to play. He said he's always screaming at his teammates on the field. He said they should have won the game but the lost. He said Brady just had it with the team.
Gary said he has another sports story. He said it was in college football. He explained this game and how the fans went in and took down the goal post. He said the fans carried it out of the stadium and threw it in the river. He said the team may not be able to play at home because they have no goal post. Howard said it's bad when you can't get another goal post in a week. He said people are nuts in this country. Howard said that sounds like something Hershel Walker would do.
Gary said he's not sure what happens to people that makes them so crazy. Howard said maybe they can run the goal post from one end and run it to each end. Gary said they may have taken both of them.
Robin said Al Michaels was on talking about a Thursday night football game and it was so bad that he was just talking about how awful it was. She said Amazon was worried about Al and other people were thinking it was great that he was talking about how awful it was. Howard said he thought they didn't want them bad mouthing the games. Gary said Al may be at the ''I don't give a fuck'' time in his career.
Gary said it's a pain in the ass with this streaming stuff now. He said he was trying to find the game and he figured out it was on Amazon so he had to change the inputs on his TV to get to it.
Howard said Wolfie told a story about seeing a guy rip a tree out by the roots when his team won. Wolfie said the guy did it and people were dancing and cheering him on. He said people would get knocked own and smash their face on the street and get back up and keep on running.
Howard said he hadn't told anyone yet and he told his brother in law and he ripped a tree out of the lawn and ran off with it. Howard said Bruce said he's going to come in during Cocktober so he's excited about that. Howard said Gary was so excited that he ran out and ate horse shit on the street. Gary said he really is excited about it. He said Bruce will spend time with him and he'll have his guitar. He said it's something any fan would want. Howard said he's super stoked about it.
Howard said he has about 500 questions for Bruce already. Jon said they're going to need the whole day with him. Howard said please don't sniff his chair when he leaves. Gary said fuck Michael Rapaport because he always brings up how he can't book Bruce. He said now he has.
Howard said keep Ross Zapin away from Bruce. Gary said Ross is a huge fan of Bruce's. He told some stories about how big a fan he is and how he'll go to all of the shows he can possibly go to if he's local.
Howard said Ross will have a text chain the whole time he's at the concerts. He said he will give a playlist and comment on everything happening there. Gary said that it gets so bad that people will ask to get out of the text chain.
Howard asked Gary what he's going to do to keep Ross out of the studio. Gary said he doesn't think he'll be there. Howard said he doesn't want it to be a circus. Gary said it won't be. Howard said he'll have to keep Scott Greenstein out of the studio too. Gary said they're friends. Howard said they can be friends on another day then.
Howard took a call from Michael Rapaport who said it took 37 years to get Bruce on the show. He said that he hopes he has him on longer than 20 minutes like the Mick Jagger interview. He said he wasn't on that long. Howard said he knew that up front. He said Michael is wrong. He said he has to calm down. Robin said that Gary was waiting for Bruce to accomplish something.
Howard got Michael back on the line and asked him about the commissioner thing. Michael said it's Howard's league whether he likes it or not. He said that he had to step in and clean it up.
Howard asked JD what's wrong with the league. JD went into his explanation about this Injured Reserve spot thing they put in there and now Michael wants to change it. He said he's going by the rules. Michael said JD is boring everyone with this. He said he's running the league and he's going to run it with an iron fist from now on.
Gary was trying to get into something with Michael but he kept deflecting like Gary predicted he would. Howard said he has no idea what's going on.
Robin said she's shocked that he was at this Bravo-Con thing. Michael said he died and came back to life going there and seeing everyone.
Howard asked Richard what he has to say. Richard said he knows how to shut Michael down. He said he told him that he should spank him and punish him for using the I.R. in the league. Michael said he wants to get intimate with him. He said he saw him paint with that little pecker of his. Howard asked if he wants to be nude and get spanked by him. Richard said he wants to be nude and get spanked for misusing the I.R. spot. Howard said imagine how red his ass would be if he got spanked. Michael said he would spank him if he can get him into the city. Richard said he'll let him spank him as many times as he thinks he has to so he learns his lesson. Howard said he had better put a limit on the number. He said this guy is very strong. JD said he's very angry too. Michael said he'll turn his ass as red as his face.
Howard said Richard could end up bleeding from this. Richard said maybe limit it at 10. Michael said he says 15. Howard said come on. He said Richard stinks to high heaven. Richard said he'll stink even worse that day. Howard said there could be brown on that ass. He said it's going to be bad. Howard said they can do this for Cocktober. He said Richard can come in totally nude and Michael will spank him over his knee. Michael said he has to be bathed that morning. He said he has to take a shower that morning. He said he's not putting up with that. Richard said he can scrub him down and take a shower with him.
Howard asked when this is going down. Richard said they have a date when they're going to be in the studio doing some stunts so they can do it that day. Michael said done.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he loves that Michael is a sports guy but he was at Bravo-Con for two days. Michael said he had a ball there. He said if you're a single guy and you want to pick up girls that is a great place to do it. He said there were women from 21 to 65 there.
Howard asked Michael why the women all booed Lisa Rinna. Michael said he thinks she has been the most divisive housewife and its her versus Kathy Hilton. He said it's a crazy story line. Howard said he thought there was more to it than that.
Howard asked Richard about the ass meat he has hanging out now. Richard said he's had that for a while now. He said it's the same thing that hangs out that he's seen before.
Howard said he thinks Richard really wants this. He asked if he could get hard while he's getting spanked. Richard said never say never. He said he was just messing with him and he didn't respond to it. He said that he thought he was freaked out by it.
Howard asked Richard if he might cum on Michael's lap. Richard said you never know. Michael said he wants him to call him Da-da when he's on his lap. Michael said he has to slap the sickness out of him.
Howard said the guys said that he has a lot of zits on his ass. Richard said he has something going on there. He said he doesn't know why but it's very zitty. He said it might be from being sweaty all the time.
Howard said he has to say that if he skips a shower for a day he gets red and itchy. Robin said maybe that's why Richard breaks out. Howard said the ass pimples are probably from not practicing proper hygiene. Howard let Michael go and said they'll see him soon spanking Richard's ass.
Howard said Michael is a strong dude so Richard had better be careful. Richard said he might be biting off more than he can chew. Howard did a live commercial read and ended the show around 10:05am.
Howard started the show talking about how Charlie Puth will be on the show today. He said he's a New Jersey boy. He said he has it all going on. He said he's doing it all. He said he's having the time of his life at 30.
Howard said he's trying to think of what he wants to start with today. He said he's thinking about this Alex Jones. He said he got hit with a 1 billion dollar settlement in the Sandy Hook thing. He said the jury awarded the 8 victims a billion dollars in settlement. He said that's crazy. Robin said it's like in Austin Powers when Dr. Evil asks for a million and they say its not enough and he raises it to a billion dollars.
Robin said Alex is also saying he's going to keep fighting. Howard said he would too because where is Alex Jones going to get a billion dollars? Robin said he remembers them revealing his assets and she was shocked at how much he did have. Howard said he thought he was on the fringes but he does make a ton of dough.
Howard said after the ruling Alex told his audience that they were trying to take him off the air and take his audience out with him. He said he's going to war over this. He said he's upset about the billion dollars. Robin said he didn't say that he made things up. Howard said they ruled that the impersonator owes 300 million for the case.
Howard said Alex was asking people to buy his products to make money to raise money. He said he was selling a coin to commemorate something. He said it sells for $129. He said he doesn't know anyone who buys those type of things. He said this coin has a knight in shining armor and Teddy Roosevelt on it. He said it also says 1776 on it. He said he's not sure what they have to do with each other. He wondered what he's commemorating. He said here he is hawking that coin. He played a clip of Jones doing his thing begging his suckers for money.
Howard said a billion is a lot of money. He said he's not sure what people do with those coins. He said it must inspire conversation. He said he only has to sell a million of those coins to get up to his billion.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake Alex Jones who was pitching the coin thing. Fake Alex was going on and on about that. Howard asked who is going to have that kind of money to buy a coin like that. Alex said he is going to pay the Sandy Hook parents right now. He wrote a check out to the crisis actors from his check book. He was calling them demon scum and things like that.
Howard said Alex had better watch what he says or he'll end up in court again. Alex said they need people to support them so he can pay them off. He started plugging all of his stuff.
Howard thanked Alex for coming on. Alex said next week they will be hosting the Marjorie Taylor Greene dating game. Howard said he does everything he does. Alex said this is not a joke. He said they had to find someone good for Marj. He said he and his wife were talking about that.
Howard said Benjy is available for Marjorie. He said he would like to throw him into the ring for that. Howard let Alex go after that.
Howard said there he is. He said he's still fighting that fight. Robin said he had that coin ready to go. Howard said he saw Robin bought three. Howard said he saw those kind of coins for sale when he was a kid and he thought they had some value but he doesn't think they do. He said no one is going around selling them after they buy them. He said he remembers commemorative plates being sold too. He said they were being hawked as being valuable. He said he can't imagine they are.
Robin said she saw that an original in the box iPhone sold for $59,000 somewhere. She said someone must want to own the first one. Howard said you can't do anything with it though. He said the thing lasts a couple of cycles and then it stops working. He said they build it all to be obsolete. Robin said she got her new phone and it was like 208 gigs or something. She said the first one was 8 gigs.
Howard said he heard from Ross Zapin too. He said he sent him ''Bruuuuuuuuce!!!!!'' in his text. Gary said he spoke to Ross yesterday and he is very excited about it. He said he will be nowhere near the studio. Howard said we'll see about that. He said he had to say that he can't come near the studio. He asked how fast Bruce would be turned off if he started in with his shtick. He said Gary has to keep everyone away from him. Gary said they'll be good.
Howard said wrote back to Ross and wrote ''Ross, UUUUUUU are not coming to the studio that day.''
Howard said he got a note from Ralph about Kaia Gerber and Cindy Crawford and how they should be doing a lingerie shoot together. Howard said he's excited about seeing that. He said that would be awesome.
Howard answered a knock at the door and it was fake William Shatner. Shatner said he's so excited for Bruce that he has to do a tribute. He ''sang'' Born in the USA in his very special slow way.
Howard said he hopes Bruce is listening to this. He said he hopes he hears this. He asked Bill to sing a Manfred Man song. Bill went into that one for Howard.
Howard asked if the ex is with his friend still. Duncan said they are. He said he lived in a million dollar house and he lived around the corner. He said the guy ended up buying his house so his wife is still in that house. Howard asked how long ago that is. Duncan said that was 2013. He said they're very happy apparently. He said this guy was his best friend when they were kids. Howard said he must be living in an apartment with a hot plate.
Howard said sometimes when you're a financial genius you don't see your friend eating out your wife. Duncan said that's true. Robin said she doesn't know how you live with yourself when you do something like that to someone. She said she's off in her fantasy romance.
Howard asked if the ex wife still looks good. Duncan said that he does not go on Facebook to look at them. He said his new girlfriend is smoking hot though. Howard said it would be weird if the friend took her too. Duncan said that he'd jump off a bridge if that happened. Howard said that or push that guy off a bridge. He said it's weird. Robin said this guy is the on ramp for the friend.
Howard asked if Duncan knows if the ex looks good or not. Duncan said he's not sure. He said he ran into them a couple of years ago walking and she was still hot. Howard asked how many kids he had with her. Duncan said zero. He said she did have a child from high school that he raised with her. Howard said he sounds like a good dude. Robins said this guy is a chump to that ex. She took everything from him.
Duncan said he has to travel a lot and he takes some responsibility. He said he never cheated though. He said he had to make a living. Howard said he's with him. He said don't worry about it. Robin said he wanted to take care of his family and that got him a divorce. Howard said now that guy lives in his old house.
Howard asked if they got into the conversation about never being his friend again. Duncan said they deny everything to this day. He said he actually head butted his old friend and broke his nose. He said this guy took over his life and it was really weird. Howard asked if this friend ever calls for advice about the house or anything. Duncan said he doesn't. He said he did what he had to do. He said that guy was the best man at his wedding. Howard said in the bible it says thou shalt not covet your wife. He said this guy is doing that.
Duncan said it's really weird. He said they work in the same industry too. Howard asked if he has ever seen the guy naked. Duncan said he did but that was when he saw him on his ex's computer. He said he has better length and girth than the other guy. He said the guy is shorter than him too. Howard said he must be good in bed. Duncan said he thinks the guy has more money than him. Howard said that guy must have bought Sirius stock at 3 cents.
Howard asked how long they were fucking before he figured it out. Duncan said 3 years. He said his wife was constantly on her phone texting and he went on her laptop and saw the pictures. He said then she denied it. He said he saw his cock on her computer and she denied it. Howard asked how she does that. Duncan said it's bizarre.
Howard said his ex and his friend are on the phone. He took the call from the fake wife and friend. The guys were playing a porn clip as the couple.
Howard asked how the wife explained the dick pictures. He said it's like Dennis Rodman claiming that women fell out of the ceiling when Carmen Electra found him with them. Duncan said there was nothing to the pictures. He said she took her laptop and smashed it. He said it was too late though. Howard asked why women want cock pictures. Robin said you know you're cheating. Duncan said he has no idea. He said he has a big cock and he does not send it to women. Howard said of course not. He said women don't like that. Duncan said it's disgusting. He said when he met his girlfriend he never sent her nudes or anything. Howard said he's smart. He said no one sees him nude, not even his wife.
Howard said he has on the phone his best friend. He took the call and the fake friend said Duncan stole his whole life from him. He said he even stole his voice. He was doing an impression of the guy. He said he has more length and girth and he stole his house.
Howard asked if Duncan ever contacted his friend's wife to have sex with her to get revenge on them. Duncan said she's very plain Jane. He said that's fine but they did walk out of the supermarket holding hands. He said it was just a joke. He said it was funny and they both turned white. He said he would never do that with her. Howard said he sounds like a good guy. He said it sounds like a horrible story.
Howard said if this ever happens again call him. He said he would have advised him to go fuck his friend's mother. Duncan said he wouldn't do that either. Howard asked if he had an impression he had a good marriage. Duncan said he thought that something might be going on. He said he was spending a lot of money on this woman and there were tons of signs. He said he went through a few franchises. He said he has a dental company and he doesn't think this woman works. He said this other guy owns a dental company as well. He said that makes things difficult.
Howard asked how hot this woman is. Duncan said he'd say she's an 8 out of 10. He said she looks like Sandra Bullock. Howard said he likes that look. Robin said he should have gone out and gotten the real Sandra. She said she thinks she's single. Howard said he's sorry for his pain but it sounds like he's doing okay now. Duncan said he is doing okay now. He said he has a smoking hot girlfriend now so he's good. He said his new girlfriend is a 7. He said a 7 is pretty good. Howard said he's had sex with 2's and 1's. He said he's not sure they were even girls. He said a 7 is good. Howard asked who the girlfriend looks like. Duncan said a young Pam Anderson maybe. Howard said keep an eye on this new girl. Duncan said she's very sweet so that's the most important part. He said they live separately. He said she's not with him now. Howard said he's going to take a break and check on his wife. He said he might find Jimmy Kimmel's cock on her computer. Howard let Duncan go after that.
Howard went into a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he was reading about this song. He said Trent wrote this about his relationship with religion. He said it's pretty great when you know that. He said it's a pretty great song. He said that guy is intense. He said he saw him in concert and he freaked him out. He said it was a cool concert. He said he had him convinced he was really strange. He said he seems pretty normal now. He said maybe he was kind of being a character. He said he's not sure what his deal is. Robin said maybe that was his state of mind at the time but he got better. She said he seems very prolific now. Howard said maybe he's a true genius. He said he's a fake genius himself but Trent may be a true genius.
Howard said there's true genius and also stable geniuses. He said that's Trump. He said he has a lot figured out. He said he's a self proclaimed stable genius.
Howard said Mel Gibson is going to testify at the Harvey Weinstein trial. He said that's real weird. He said some girl got harassed by Harvey and she told the whole thing to Mel Gibson. He said this woman told Mel the story and she's going to have him at her trial. Howard said it's weird to him that Mel Gibson is the guy of all people. He said it's a crazy story.
Howard read the article about this woman and what's going on with the case. Howard said he has Mel on the phone. He took the call from fake Mel Gibson who was breathing heavy as usual. He said he can't wait to testify. Howard asked Mel what he's going to do when he testifies. Fake Mel said he's going to say that he witnessed Harvey do terrible things. He said he saw him call her names and he told her to just smile and blow him. Howard said that sounds like exactly what he said to his own wife. He had tape of that he played for fake Mel. Mel said it's hard to remember who said what. He said some other things he thought Harvey said but it was more rants that Mel said himself. Howard had tape of those things that he played back for him.
Mel said that Harvey even threatened violence against this woman. Howard said he thinks that was Mel again. He played the clip of him saying he was going to hit this woman with a baseball bat to the side of the head.
Howard asked what Mel would like Robin to do if he had a date with her. Mel said he'd like her to get on her knees and fucking ''blow me!'' He said she had better get down there in his Jacuzzi and blow him. He was breathing in an odd way but he claimed that was just the way he breathes. He said he has to use a sleep apnea machine because of her. Howard let Mel go a short time later.
Howard said there you go. Robin asked if they can ask Mel about his history in the trial. Howard said no. He said he was reading about that in the article. He said the defense won't be allowed to ask about that but they can ask other questions about working with Harvey Weinstein and some of the things that he has acted in. He said he doesn't know.
Howard said the funny thing is that Mel will end up in jail and Harvey will end up being released. Howard said that would be a funny twist.
Howard said on Monday they were speaking about Bernard McGuirk dying from prostate cancer. He said they got some feedback about that discussion. He said they talked about prostate cancer for a while. He read some feedback about that. Howard said someone suggested that he get checked on air. He said he's not going to do that. He said they did a bit like that once with Eric Andre. He said they had him singing a song when he got his prostate checked. He said you can hear when the probe went up his ass. He played a clip from that segment. Howard said that was Prostate Karaoke.
Howard said he also said on the air that New York and Los Angeles have the best doctors. He said some people got upset about that. He said he's sticking with his statement. Robin said she didn't go to Texas but she is in New York so it was local. She said there's a lot of great places out there. Howard said his daughter trained at Mass General. He said he sill tells everyone to come to New York.
Howard said he had a thought about this. He said his fantasy is that if you're a doctor and they ban abortion in your state then pack your bags and leave. He said they don't believe in science in that state. He said they don't believe in it so just leave. He said that if all doctors just went to states that were reasonable that would be it. Robin said that will never happen. Howard said it would if he were president. He said they want to lock up doctors who perform abortions. He said we'll see how they do without doctors to help their kids in those states.
Howard said these people are out of their minds. He said get out while you can. He said let them pray to the red jasper stones like Sal does. He said that's what their medicine can be. Robin said the thing about these people is that when they get cancer they run to the hospital. She said they run when they have heart attacks. She said it's never the witch doctor when they have a real problem.
Howard said he doesn't get what this anti science horse shit is. He said that's his fantasy anyway. He said he hopes the doctors take him up on that. Robin said she doesn't see that happening. Howard said we need doctors there in New York. He said come on up. He said women move here and stay when you get your abortion.
Howard read some of the feedback about the great hospitals out there in places other than New York and L.A.
Howard said the fans are inspired by Jason losing his weight with Nutrisystem. He read through some of that.
Howard read some feedback about the conversation he and Fred had about their days in Hartford.
Howard read some feedback about the Matt Friend interview. He played some of the call he had with Matt. Howard said the audience thought the impression was dead on. Howard read some feedback about that. Howard said maybe Matt can take over the show and do it with Robin. Robin said that's not how it works.
Howard said one fan said that Matt should compete with Sal in a Howard impression contest. Robin asked if Sal has an impression. Howard said sure he does. He played a clip of him doing the impression in a phony phone call.
Howard said that was pretty good. Robin said it was terrible. Howard said Sal worked so hard on that. Sal did more of the impression live for them. Howard did an impression of Sal doing his impression.
Howard read more feedback about the impression and someone said Elon Gold is the best Howard impressionist. Howard played a clip from 1998 when Elon did his impression for Howard. Robin said that sounded like Howard back then but he has changed a lot since then.
Howard said Jimmy Fallon did an impression of him too. He played a clip of Jimmy doing that awful impression. Howard said he's working on it. Robin said it's hard. She said he doesn't have those things that other people do. Howard said she's right. He said he doesn't have it, whatever it is.
Bob said every day you wake up death is tugging on your shoulder. He said that's what it's like. He said his VA is fantastic and he loves the guys there. Robin said that's great to hear. Howard asked Bob if he served with him. Bob laughed and said he didn't. He said Howard can ad-lib really good. He said he wishes he had that kind of personality. Howard said he has rarely heard anyone say that before.
Howard asked Bob about what it was like coming back from Vietnam. Bob went off on the people who treated them like crap when they came back. Howard said when he came back he was out banging chicks. He asked Bob if he banged anyone over there. Bob said he did but that was a mistake. He said he got the clap once over there. He said he was all tested when he came home. He said he didn't want to come home with any monkey disease or anything.
Howard asked Bob if he did any hand to hand combat. Bob said he did. He said he's 75 years old now and he has to go on with his life. He said his wife has been very supportive. He said he loves listening to Howard's show. He said he could hang with him easy. Howard said oh no he couldn't. Howard said his wife has PTSD from hanging out with him. He said he comes to life for the show but that's it.
Robin said with PTSD it's not just seeing things but something that triggers it. She said that other people don't see it but that fear and panic comes back. Bob said he can't be in a closed space either. He said he was only 19 at the time and they were getting pounded. He said they were in a bunker and he has claustrophobia now. He said it was really tough.
Bob told Howard to watch the movie ''Hamburger Hill'' because it's really realistic. He said he should heck it out. Howard said he just reads about war. He said he's fascinated by heroes. He said there are people who go through this stuff for this country and they know it's going to be tough. He said it's unbelievable how brave these guys are. He said he's such a puss he could never do it. He said he's not half the man Bob is.
Howard said Bob is like 75 but he sounds young. bob said he tries to take care of himself. He said he's on his way into the VA today to get his lungs scanned. He said they sprayed Agent Orange there and he was a smoker. He said he quit 20 years ago but he did smoke. Howard asked what time he eats dinner. Bob said like 3:30 or 4. Howard said he's trying to get his wife to do that but it's a no go at this point.
Howard said he watched some TV last night and Beth fell asleep before he did. He said he knows Bob isn't watching Bachelor in Paradise like he is.
Howard said Bob's illegitimate child is on the phone. He took the call from the fake kid and Howard lasted about one joke before hanging up.
Bob told Howard to watch the show The Punisher with Jon Bernthal. He said that guy is brutal in that show. He said this guy can kick some ass. Howard said he loves SEAL Team too. Bob said he does too.
Howard asked if Bob watched Kissing Booth 3. He said he didn't like it. Bob didn't get a chance to answer. Howard just figured he doesn't watch that stuff. Howard said Bob is an important guy in their history. He was about to wrap up but Bob had a story about Robin. He said he was walking down the street and Robin had written her book. He said he wanted to get her book so he was looking all over the book store for it. He said they didn't sell the book at this book store. He said the guy said it was a religious book store. He said he was in the wrong place for that book.
Howard said he has PTSD from reading Robin's book. He let Bob go after that.
Howard said they were going to play the game What Will Religious Shows Pray For Part 2. He said he will give a preview of that. He said he has one to play now. He said then he has to take a break.
Howard said this is the guys calling into a religious show asking them to pray for stuff. In the clip Sal called in asking them to pray for his temptation to be taken away and make altar boys ugly. Robin said she thinks they will pray for that. Howard said that's a crazy answer. In the clip the hosts of the show said they will be praying for him.
Howard said Robin was right. Robin said that's a red button issue for the religious shows. Howard said good for you Robin. He said they're having fun so they'll do one more. He played a clip where Sal called the show and asked them to pray for every lesbian to suffer a yeast infection and every gay man's butthole seals itself shut. Robin said she thinks that they will pray for that. Howard played the clip and the hosts said they will not pray for that because God loves everyone.
Howard said he can do one more. He played a clip of Sal asking the show to pray for him not to be thrown down the stairs by the police when they find his wife and think he killed her but it was actually natural causes. Robin said she's going to say they do pray for this man. Howard played the clip and the hosts did pray for him that when they do the autopsy they find it was natural causes. Sal asked them to pray that the life insurance money comes through for him too. They said they would do that as well.
Howard said he wants to do one more and then take a break. He played a clip where fake George Takei asked them to pray for him and the cast of Star Trek that God takes William Shatner before him. Robin said she thinks this is tough. She said she doesn't think they pray. Howard played the clip and the hosts said they will not pray for someone to die. Fake George asked if they can pray that his toupee flies off on live TV. They said they can't do that either.
Howard said maybe one more. He played the clip and Sal called and asked for them to pray for him that his boss doesn't find out that he pissed in his car and they blame his slow adult co-worker gets the blame instead. Robin said she's going to say no to that one. Howard played the clip and the hosts said that they will pray that he doesn't get fired. Sal asked them to pray that he gets to keep his job. The host said they will and they know he will do better in the future. Robin said she's not sure what they're praying for.
Howard said he has 2 more left so he's just going to get to them. He played a clip where Sal called and asked the hosts to pray for him that his neighbors who have a black Jesus on their lawn take down that statue. Robin said she's going to say that the will. Howard played the clip and the hosts said they don't know whet Jesus actually looked like. Sal said he saw Passion of the Christ so he knows. He said if they can't pray for that then can they spray paint that black Jesus white. The host said this is the kind of ignorance that's going on in this country. She said this world is coming to destruction.
Howard said he has one more. He played the clip where fake Arnold Schwarzenegger called in and asked them to pray for his agency to send him a hot maid. He said he needs a hot one and not an ugly one. Robin said she thinks they will pray for that. Howard played the clip and the host said they will do that. Howard said Robin went out on a high note. He said she did very well. He said he's very proud of her.
Howard said they're running out of religious shows to call. He said it's a real problem. He went into a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard came back and said Charlie Puth is there. He said they're playing Elton John because Charlie knows him. He said he has performed with him too. Howard said hi to Charlie and Charlie said this is surreal. He said he's there with Jan Ozveren. He said he's a guitar player. Howard asked if it's tough to find a guitar player. Charlie said that he's a piano player so it's easy to get irritated with him. He said he has all these keys in front of him but its tough to play something on a guitar like he plays on piano so Jan may get irritated.
Howard said he's saying that a guitar can't do what he needs it to do. Charlie said he's envious of guitar players because they look cooler. He said he has a keytar he plays on stage so he can move around. Howard said you never see Billy Joel pick up a keytar. Charlie said he opened up for Billy one time. He said he had everyone in the palm of his hand. He said he had one hit song at the time and Billy had like 60. He said he didn't know how he was ever going to be able to match this.
Howard said it's amazing when you meet these guys who have so many hits. He said you wonder how it's possible. Charlie said Wings was such a different sounding record for Paul McCartney. He said he had a different sound. He said the genius of him is the way he uses notes in his music. He said he's all over the place. Howard asked for more details about that. Charlie demonstrated how the songs work on piano with the notes going up and down and all of that.
Howard said there was something he wanted to ask Bruce Springsteen about and he isn't able to figure out how to ask it. He said as Charlie hits notes he gets the chills. He said there has to be a certain trick to do to bring people into the song. He said there are things that Bruce does and that Charlie does to bring people into it. He said he's not sure how to articulate the question. Charlie said that's tension and release. He ran through a Bruce song and played the chord progression to show how it works. Charlie said you want it to go in a certain direction.
Howard asked if Charlie thinks Bruce knows that he's doing it. Charlie said it's all feeling. He said that's the most important thing about writing. He said if it doesn't feel like a human made it then it won't hit with a person. Howard said there's no real formula then. He said Bruce may not even get it.
Charlie ran through another Springsteen song and told Howard how they must have come up with it. He said it's all just feeling and getting feedback from the audience.
Howard asked Charlie how he met Bruce. Charlie said in April of 2020 they did a New Jersey pandemic special and he played a Springsteen song for that. He said he got a call from Bruce one day about doing the song. Howard said that's great. Charlie said talking to Howard is a pinch me moment. He said this is his first time speaking to Howard. He said he wanted to get into media because of Howard. He said he's been listening for like 20 years. He said he knows robin's music theme and all of that. He played some of the Robin's theme music for Howard. He knew the old news themes really well.
Howard asked if he has a favorite Wack Packer. Charlie said he likes Jeff the Drunk a lot. Howard had Jeff on the phone so he got him on. Charlie said holy shit. He said Jeff's voice has cleared up over the years. Jeff wasn't saying much. Charlie said he loved Eric the Actor as well. Howard told Jeff way to seize the moment. Charlie said Jeff's voice has changed over the years. He said he sounded good today.
Howard said he must be a fan of Robin's singing too. Charlie said he knows every single one. He said Robin's tone is good but she is off pitch. He said he could make her sound good in studio. Robin said no one has ever said that. Howard said he heard that he followed Medicated Pete. Charlie said he ran into Pete in 2013 in a Starbucks. He said Pete didn't look him in the eyes but he did talk to him.
Howard said Charlie has a new album out and he will do a couple of songs with Jan. He asked Charlie about opening for Billy Joel and why he can't talk music with him. Charlie said he feels like emailing him after this about why he hasn't put out an album in 30 years. He said that Paul McCartney is still making songs. He said he doesn't want to be a burden so he won't talk about that stuff. Howard said he's heard that from a lot of guys. He said it could be an amazing conversation though.
Howard asked if there's anyone he could talk to about that. Charlie said Elton John is his neighbor and he can walk to his house. He said he just called him the other day and Elton told him his album was doing very well. He said the wrote a song for his album and Elton just sat down at his keyboard and started playing the song. He said usually you have to do a couple of takes. He said he played 3 minutes of his piano part and he was able to copy and paste it into the song. He said he was in awe over that. He said he just caught a vibe and just played. He said it was very Elton. He played some of what Elton does.
Howard asked Charlie about what song he wrote in the shower. Charlie said he wrote a lot in the shower. He said the one that he documented was 'Light Switch'' and ''Loser.'' He said he didn't know if people would like the song so he put it on the internet early. He said he put it up on TikTok. He said he had parted ways with his record label and he would just put stuff out. He said they thought he had to work with 15 different producers but he didn't. He said that split was amicable. He said he turned to the internet to gauge the interest of the audience. He said the video went viral and that catapulted the album.
Howard said he won't read what people say on the internet. He said if one person doesn't like something he does he won't do it. He said there are a ton of people who do like it though so it can ruin it. Charlie said that it's more about capturing the vibe. He said he hates saying that but that's what it is.
Howard asked if Charlie does other people's songs in concert. He said he can do it so easily there. He said it's beautiful when he just plays. Charlie started playing something on piano. He told Howard that the chord progression is used a lot. He said it's tension, release and people can feel it.
Howard said he gets frustrated and he wants to hear even more of the song. He said he played his first hit song and he loves hearing him just cover these things. Charlie said he might do an album like that some day. He said he has to strike with the original music right now.
Howard asked if music is always in his head. Charlie said yes. Howard said he has seen him doing shows and he'll say what note that is. He said he must be tortured in a way because he can't turn off sound and music. Charlie said it's getting worse too. He said he realized he had prefect pitch and he was playing in a church in New Jersey and he would hear the same music over and over again. He said he went up to play and he just knew the music from hearing it. He said he didn't have to learn it.
Charlie said he wasn't able to sleep last night. He said he has something in his head all the time. He said he has to tell himself to stop and listen to Howard. He said Howard has to say something or he hears this stuff. He said there's a sound in his head that sounds like an amp being plugged in. He said there's something very faint in that room and he can hear it. He said now that he's talked about it he can move on from it. He said he is quite a tortured person.
Howard asked if it's an obsessive compulsive kind of thing. He said he must get distracted when he's on a date or something. He said his mind must be pulled in another direction. Charlie said he has been called absent and distant. He said that Howard is very good. He said it's almost like he was there with him on his dates. Howard said he hears radio shows in his head and he hears them all the time. He said he hears talk radio shows and wants to do them on the air.
Charlie said Howard is hearing radio shows and he's hearing music. He said he must be hearing the diction and the pitch of people. He said in Mandarin the pitch of your voice is very important to get your point across.
Howard asked if Charlie took piano lessons as a kid. He said he took them and his teacher killed himself. Charlie said he hates to laugh at that but he's never heard that. Howard said the guy wanted out and he did it the ultimate way. Charlie said that's upsetting.
Charlie said he took lessons and the teacher told him he had to throw away what he was doing on a synthesizer. He said he had to learn on a real piano. Howard asked Charlie if people knew he had natural ability or did he have to put in the 10,000 hours. Charlie said he got a lot of attention as a kid playing piano. He said he'd play something at 9 and he knew how to do it. He said he could do all of Carole King's album if someone wanted to hear it. Jan said it's a great way to connect with people by playing an instrument.
Howard asked Charlie about how bad his bullying was. Charlie said it was never anything super physical. He said it was psychological for hearing stuff constantly and being able to imitate noises. He said he was annoying and uppity. Howard asked if he shut people up by playing. Charlie said no. He said he wishes he was able to say yes. He said the first time he performed in front of people he beat boxed. He said he did that to get his feet wet. He said he went to a football high school and wasn't able to get up and sing in front of them. He said he was very shy. He said he was nervous sitting there for Howard. He said he's fine now but he felt like he did in high school when they did the sound check.
Howard said Charlie got a free ride to Berkeley. Charlie said he did and he would do anything for them. Charlie said Whitney Houston was an amazing singer and she chose to do it in her own way. He was explaining how she would do her thing and said that she was able to make people sing with her. He said he got down on teachers who told him he had to memorize things from the 17th century. He said we don't know if that's how things were actually written back then. He said the lack of feeling teachers had was shocking. He said he thinks they have made improvements over there but he wishes things were more open minded back when he was there.
Howard said sometimes people can't make that connection in music. Charlie said sometimes you don't want to be in Avant Garde land. He said there are plenty of simple songs that are complex if you want them to be.
Howard said he loves it when he plays something. He was playing Tom Petty's ''Free Falling'' so Howard had him continue that. He said he loves that. Charlie was explaining how they had that big snare sound in the song. He was beat boxing that part. Charlie was explaining how the tension works in that song too.
Howard said he doesn't understand why he doesn't get together with Billy Joel and jam. Charlie said he wants Robin there too. Howard said he doesn't get why they don't just get together and make music together. Charlie said he doesn't want to be a nuisance. He said he doesn't want people to ignore his phone calls.
Howard said he gets it. He said he's smart that way. Charlie said maybe he has nothing to add to Bruce's career. He said he is very set in his musical ways.
Howard said they have to get to some music but he wants to know about his origin story. He said Perez Hilton the gossip columnist put out a call online for a contest to have people do songs. Charlie said it was to be featured on his blog. Howard said Charlie and Emily Luther did a cover of a song for this. Howard played some of that song. Charlie said his voice there wasn't so great. He said he was listening to a lot of John Mayer at the time and he was doing that there. He said he didn't know how to hit the notes the right way at the time. He said he got way better.
Howard played more of the song and asked what happened to that Emily. Charlie said he heard that she's a music teacher in Rhode Island. He said that's great to hear. Howard said he's not sure that's a great thing. Charlie said he would be a teacher if he wasn't doing what he's doing. He said some of his favorite teachers were the ones who made things entertaining. He said he has great respect for teachers and he thinks it's great that she's doing that. He said he really does love teachers. He said he wouldn't trade his life for anything right now but he would have loved being a teacher. He said it can be a lot sometimes being in the music industry. He said no one buys records anymore. He said there are a ton of songs coming out every day and you're always competing. He said it's the wild west out there.
Howard said it really is a different time for musicians. He said that they used to be their prophets but now it's so complex. He said radio is like that now. He said he has a lot of brothers in radio and they don't know how to make money doing it.
Howard said that Ellen heard that song and she signed him to her record company. Charlie said that she had a partnership with Jimmy at Interscope. He said he was 19 at the time and he remembers flying back home and people recognized him. He said he remembers watching himself on the Ellen show on his iPhone. He said he got a free burrito from someone who had seen him on the show. He said that was his first brush with being famous.
Howard asked what went wrong with the record deal. Charlie said that Ellen had them come over and he just wasn't ready to be an artist. He said even when ''See You Again'' came out he still wasn't ready. He said he thought he was going to be writing for other artists. He said he and Emily didn't mesh that well together and they had a hundred different visions there. He said Ellen wanted it to work out but it was out of their control. Howard said Ellen must have been upset when he had a hit song without her. Charlie said she did recognize his talent and it was very nice that she did. He said there were some naysayers out there and when he went number 1 he sent the link to those people. He said that was kind of dicky to do that. He said he doesn't do that anymore. Howard said he would do that. He said he's the kind of guy to rub it in. Charlie said maybe he learned it from him.
Howard said Charlie wrote that song ''See You Again'' about a friend who died. Charlie said he did. He said he got hit by a car while riding a motorcycle. He said it was very upsetting. He said it was his best bud. He said a couple of years later he went to a studio and they were working on a song. He said they were working on a song in this studio that was really dance like. He said he made it simpler and he just started singing the song. He said he was thinking about his friend and the lyrics just came out. He said that was his message to his friend. Howard said they were going to sell this song for someone and he wasn't going to perform it. Charlie said they had 10 artists cut it. He said they had a lot. He said none of the vocals had the feeling. He said what he was singing about was not in their voices. He said Chris Brown got close. He said then there was drama about him singing. He said he remembers the mess on day that he was supposed to shoot the video. He said that it was a mess. He said he had a number 1 song but he had to work backwards a lot after that.
Howard said Charlie wrote that song. Charlie said he wrote and produced it. Howard said that he did that for The Fast and Furious. He said it's a miracle that it worked out. He said you talk about Sylvester Stallone and how he was just supposed to write Rocky and not be in it. He said what an amazing story it is.
Howard asked Charlie if he ever thought about changing his name. He said his name sounds like a country artist. Charlie said he never considered changing it. He said he was just weirdo Charlie Puth from grade school. He said he would like to do a country album some day though. Howard said if he changes his name then people don't know that he made it and he can't tell the kids who bullied him that he made it.
Howard said he would love to have the guys play. He asked if Jan is awake over there. Jan said he is. Howard spent a minute talking to Jan about working with Charlie and asked if they tour together. Jan said they have toured since 2016 together.
Howard asked if they're good friends. Charlie and Jan said they are. Jan said you have to be good friends with someone you tour with that long. Howard asked if it's weird when it comes to money. Charlie said they have people for that. Jan said they do have people. He said it never gets awkward. Charlie said that he can't play guitar so he needs him there. He said he can play a little bit of a John Mayer song but that's about it. He said it's horrible. He said it's frustrating because he can hear the notes in his head but he's not able to put his fingers in the right place.
Howard said this song is called Left and Right. He said it's on the new album CHARLIE.
Charlie said he was listening to Yellow Submarine and he heard the voice on the left speaker and he found out that's because of the recording limitations. He said that they got Ringo's voice on one side. He said that he remembers falling asleep and thinking about how he should do that on a song. He said he wanted to do it like he was on the inside of his brain. He said he was pointing to the side of his brain. He said you won't hear it on this recording but on the original you will. Howard had the guys perform the song.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Charlie said that was a mouth full for him. He said that he should have background singers there. Howard said there's something about having it stripped down that makes it great. Charlie said he is in control over wheat's in his mind. He said it's great having Jan there too. He said it is fun to do it by yourself at times.
Howard asked Charlie about hanging out with Ed Sheeran since they're on the same record label. Charlie said he's friends with him and he hangs with Courteney Cox. He said they have a fun Karaoke night over there. He said they eat a lot and then sing and it's always fun over at her house. Howard said that sounds like fun to him. Charlie said that if you told him in college this would be going on he'd have to pinch himself.
Howard asked Charlie who has played there at Courteney's house. Charlie said he has had Ed there and Brandi Carlile backing them up. Howard said she blows his mind. He said that she's so good. He said she does great covers too. Charlie said he would like to say that when he got to perform with Elton and Joni Mitchell it was one of his favorite times. He said he didn't sing but he got to her Joni sing. He said she sang Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me. He said that she backed Elton up a little bit. Howard asked if he played on that. Charlie said he was just in the background observing.
Howard said Charlie has written songs for a lot of bands. He said he wrote for Maroon 5 and other bands. He asked if that upsets him. Charlie said not at all because they were never meant to be for him. He said it just is what it is. Howard asked about the song ''Stay'' that Justin Bieber did. He said all these kids are writing that they love this song but Justin Bieber didn't write it. He said they don't know that Charlie wrote it. He said that would frustrate the fuck out of him. Charlie said it doesn't for him. He said he loves the drums he did for that record and he's happy for their success. He said he's glad he doesn't have to sing it. He said the lyrics are hard. He said that he's glad he was behind the scenes for that one.
Charlie mentioned a song he wrote that gets played in strip clubs a lot. Howard had him play some of that. Charlie did that and explained how he wrote that one. He said he's glad he had something to do with that song.
Howard said Barry Manilow used to write commercial jingles and he would play that stuff on stage and people would go nuts. He said Charlie could do that with the songs he's written that they don't know about. Charlie said that he could do a cover of those songs and put out an album.
Howard asked Charlie about this song ''Loser'' and how it's really ''Lose her.'' Charlie said that is in the lyrics. He said that he remembers repeating this sentence and it was about being a loser and how did he lose her. He said he did it in the shower and he pictured the song. He played it for Howard and he felt like the song has been around but it hadn't. Howard asked if he has ever written a song and realized he was just writing a song that was around. Charlie said no actually.
Howard said he knew Charlie's ex as a little girl and knew her family. He asked if that's who the song was about. Charlie said it's not the one Howard is thinking of. He said that you want the songs to be more broad so you don't know.
Howard asked which Springsteen song is the best one ever written. Charlie was going back and forth trying to figure it out but he thinks Jungleland is right up there with Bohemian Rhapsody. He played some of the song and said it evokes emotion right away.
Howard said he got chills hearing that. He asked what the best Billy Joel song ever written is. Charlie thought about that for a few. He said he has to give the right answer or it'll be on the internet forever. He said that he thinks that maybe the one he wrote for his daughter. He played some of that. He said there are some other songs that he's done that are up there. He said it's hard to write those songs and make them sound not reachy but Billy does them effortlessly.
Howard asked about the best Elton John song. Charlie said it's a tie between Tiny Dancer and Don't let the Sun Go Down On Me. He said he's going with the latter. He played a little bit of each.
Howard asked why he thinks George Michael was so influential. Charlie said he wrote a song to make it seem like he wasn't so cheesy. He said it reminds him of his own career. He said that he did this song all by himself and he did it without Pro-Tools back in the day. He said that guy is very influential to him.
Howard said James Taylor is influential to him too. Howard asked what song he likes the most there. Charlie went through a couple of his songs that he likes. He played a little bit of the songs and said he gave himself the chills playing it.
Howard said Charlie is able to pull up these songs and he knows he can just play them. He said he has to be able to do that before he can do his own thing. Charlie said that i the best thing to having perfect pitch. He said he can save it in his mind forever.
Howard said Neil Young is something. He said he wrote ''Ohio'' in 20 minutes in the woods alone. Charlie said he didn't know that. He played some Neil Young for Howard too. He said they did ''Old Man'' with just two chords. He had Jan play that on guitar. He sang that and seemed blown away by the song as he was singing it. Charlie said everyone was going through something in the 70s and they all used this core music that was like rubbing your chin and wondering where you're going to be in the 80s.
Howard asked Jan if he has a warm up song he does on guitar. Jan said he's more of a sound guy and he's not sure what song he would go to. Charlie said that he can throw something out to him and get the exact thing he wants for a song. He said that there were a lot of songs written on major keys in the 70s and 80s. He said in the 90s it was different. He said we're back in a happy phase again now.
Charlie said that Cyndi Lauper came on and sang a song for them and she messed up but you know she can sing in the high note. He said she sang in that high note at the end of the song and it gave him chills. He said it's because Howard gave her a comfortable setting to do it. He said it was all about the vibe.
Howard asked Charlie where he is now with his girlfriend. Charlie said that he doesn't talk much about that. He said he doesn't have anything interesting to say. He said he was very vocal in the start and he thinks people thought he was dating a lot of women at the time. He said that he kind of keeps it to himself. He said to make music you have to tell the truth so he hopes it's not too vindictive.
Howard said he should date Heidi Klum and her daughter. He said maybe he and Jan could date them together. Howard asked if Charlie is in love right now. Charlie said he is. Howard said if she breaks up with him it'll be the best album ever. Charlie said he doesn't think she will. He said he thinks this is the one. He said it's someone he grew up with. Howard said that's like Ed Sheeran. Charlie said it's nice to have someone close to him that he has known for a very long time.
Howard asked if this girl blew him off when he wasn't famous. Charlie said she's always been very nice to him. He said when times are hard in the future she would be there for him as well.
Howard asked Jan if Charlie is doing the right thing here. Jan said he thinks that he's doing the right thing. He said he thinks that he wanted to have something more settled down and he thinks it's a good thing. Howard asked if Jan is seeing anyone. Jan said that he's engaged actually. He said he got engaged in January. Howard asked if he has met this woman that Charlie is seeing. Jan said he did meet her briefly and she's lovely. Charlie said he thinks that being close to someone known makes the music even better. He said he makes the best music in front of his parents and close friends. He said you can't reach that anywhere else. Howard said he gets it. He said you can hurt a lot of people if you go out to sew your oats.
Charlie said he thinks that he has to be around people he knows. He said he doesn't go out like he used to. He said people scare him. Howard said he hasn't left his house in 2 years. He said that he knows that being in a loving relationship is important. Charlie said he is inspired by people like Jan being engaged. He said that he likes that they're in loving relationships. Charlie asked how exciting that is for the listeners. Howard said he thinks it's great.
Howard asked if Charlie is going to pop the question. Charlie said if he does the media will not know about it. He said it becomes too much. Howard said he's saying he will pop the question and keep it secret. Charlie said if he can do that he will. He said he will go out with her to places. He said he won't be hiding her or anything.
Howard had the guys perform the song ''Loser'' next. After the song Howard said that was beautiful. He said that was very nice. He gave them some plugs for the new album. He said Jan is good on guitar. He asked what that is. Jan said it's a Taylor. He said it has a bolder sound than some. Howard said he gets a very sharp sound out of that guitar. He said it's very crisp. He said he has a good sound there.
Howard asked who the greatest guitar player to ever live is. Jan said maybe Joe Walsh. Howard said he is a great song writer too. Charlie said he remembers seeing Joe at Berkeley once and he was wearing pink Ray Bans. He said he was very rock star looking. Howard said it would be interesting to see what he would have done if he had never joined The Eagles. He said they could have held him back. Charlie said he doesn't know enough about Joe to say. Jan said that the Eagles got a lot out of Joe. Charlie played some Eagles stuff. He said he liked what they did with the pop stuff. He said it was nicely balanced out.
Howard asked Jan to play some Hotel California. Jan did his thing while Charlie played piano.
Howard said they make beautiful music together. He said he said that Paul McCartney and John Lennon were in love in a way. He said that's the way it is with Jan and Charlie. Charlie said he's been with Jan so long and you start to pick up on their mannerisms. He said he feels like he's known him for 20 years after just 6.
Howard asked if Charlie was too forceful with Jan when he made the album with him. Charlie said it can be tough to get it right and get it in Pro Tools. He said he will ask him to just get it and then they can go back and do it again to make it sound right. Howard said they are lovers in a sense. Charlie said the are music lovers.
Howard said the guys are going to do a Bonnie Raitt song. He asked what it is about this song that made them want to do it. Charlie said that he wanted to play the most haunting song and this is so beautiful. He said it's a song about not being able to make someone love you. He said this song took the slot. He said it's a song he wishes he wrote. Charlie went on and on about the song and why he's doing it today. Howard and Charlie spent a few minutes talking about the song and how Bonnie was so emotional after singing it that she had to take a break.
Howard mentioned the song ''That's Hilarious'' and Charlie said that song was written about the girl that Howard referenced earlier. Howard played some of the song off the new album. Charlie said it's funny hearing the song now. He said he's kind of being goofy in it. Howard said it works. He said it's a good song.
Howard had the guys go into the Bonnie Raitt song ''I Can't Make You Love Me.'' After the song Howard said that was fantastic. Robin said that's an amazing song. Howard said he loves seeing him play piano like that.
Howard asked if the piano is a percussion instrument. Charlie said he uses it that way. Howard asked if he owns any pianos. Charlie said he has 30 keyboards. He said Elton John doesn't have a piano in his house. He said it is insane that he has a piano in his house and Elton doesn't. Charlie said he has to have a piano to get the words out. He said he has to have it there. Howard thanked him for doing that for them today. He thanked them for giving him 2 hours of their time today. Charlie said he and his mom have been listening for a very long time to him. Howard gave them some plugs for the new album.
Howard asked if Charlie knows ''Court of the Crimson King.'' Charlie said he doesn't know everything. Howard sang some for him but it wasn't coming to him. Howard said thanks again for their time. He said they proved that there is still real musicianship out there. Charlie told him to come see it live. He said they're doing a show at the Beacon theater. He said if he and Beth want to pop in with the cats that would be great. Howard said he'll meet the new girl and see what's going on there.
Howard wrapped up and let the guys go. He said they probably don't have to pish since they're still young. Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Howard started the show talking about how everyone loves when they're live. He said they are there and live. Fred played the sound of happiness.
Howard said he had some funny conversations with Richard and the gang this morning. He said Richard went to see a horror film called Terrifier. Richard showed him a mask of Art the Clown who is in the movie. Howard said Richard is such a fan that they were going to make a second one. He said they're low budget films. He said Richard donated 25 bucks to the fund raiser for the film. Richard said that movie scared the shit out of him and it's so gruesome that it might be the worst of all time. Howard asked what this movie is rated. Richard said it's mostly for gore. He said there's a little nudity. He said in the first one they have Art the Clown cut a woman in half as she's hung upside down and he starts at her vagina.
Robin said that he just had to see that. Howard said a killer clown isn't very original. Richard said you'd think that but this guy is the scariest clown ever. He said he doesn't talk and the actor needs to win an Oscar. He said his face and motions are so scary. Howard asked if Art is a human being or some other worldly film. Richard said he loves the original Halloween because you think he's human but he turns out to be more than human. He said he loves that. He was crying while explaining that.
Howard said he has to play a clip for this Terrifier 2. He said they say it's so grotesque that people are throwing up and passing out. Richard said he saw people leave last night. He said it made him so happy. He said he loves this movie so much. Howard asked why they're leaving. Richard said he thinks it's because they think it's more of a mainstream movie. He said that's not what this is.
Howard asked what the worst scene is. Richard said he doesn't want to give any spoilers. He said the movie is doing great so he doesn't want to ruin it. He said there's a lot of gory stuff in it. He said that they show scalping's and things like that. He said you hear it all and see it all.
Howard asked what the worst scene in the movie is. Richard said it involves stuff shooting out of vaginas. He said there's one scene where this woman has this black goop spray out of her vagina. He said then guts come out of a vagina. He said there's a lot of that going on. Howard said this must be rated X then. Richard said you don't see that much because the women are wearing skirts. Howard asked if the stuff just comes out from under the skirt. Richard said that you have to see it. He said that if you're hard core like him you'll love it. Howard said we can't trust everything Richard says because he just donated 25 bucks to this film.
Richard said he may have contributed to some extra blood in a scene and that's enough for him. Howard asked if he got a free ticket to the film. Richard said he got his name in the credits. He said his real name isn't in there though. He said he just wanted to get the film made. He said they're making a ton of money. He said the had a budget of like $250,000 and they've made 2.5 million already. He said it's been in the theater for a long time. He said it's been 2 weeks after only scheduled for a weekend. He said this was the first time he's been in a theater in 3 years. He said he wants to see it again.
Howard asked when he'll let the kids see this. Richard said they'd have to be 18. He said it's brutal but great.
Robin asked what the other film was that scared him. Richard said it was a film from Spain called REC. Robin said she saw that and it was good.
Howard played some news reports about this Terrifier 2 movie. They ha reports of people passing out and puking.
Richard said even the theater he saw this in was creepy. He said the bathroom was gross and kind of scary. He said the urinal was backed up and piss went all over. He had to piss because he had snuck in some beer into the theater.
Howard asked how old Richard is. Richard said he's 48. Howard said he's sneaking beers into the theater at 48. Howard asked if they search you for that stuff. Richard said not at this place. He said it was a small place out in the middle of nowhere.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if The Shining scares the shit out of him. Richard said he saw it as a kid and it scared him. He said not so much now but it was scary. Richard said he loved the book too. He said that may have scared him even more. Howard said The Shining was a great made film but these things that Richard is talking about are just shocking. He said he doesn't want to go to a movie theater and have someone pass out on him or puke on him. Robin said that they used to have creepy commercials for the movies and it sounds like it's more hype than anything. Robin said they were called torture porn or slashers.
Richard said there's something about this one that elevates it past that. He said he's not sure what it is but they did something different with it. He said this Art character is something different. Howard said he loves that his name is Art the Clown.
Howard asked if this clown was a loser or something. Richard said they don't explain any of that. He said he loves that because it's the mystery. He said you don't know where he came from or if he was human or anything. He said he has a human body. He said in the new movie he's naked. He said he has a human body and he goes to the Laundromat to wash his outfit. Richard said he loves Halloween because they don't explain Michael Myers and how he survives getting shot.
Fred played the Halloween theme and Richard started weeping. He said he's a huge John Carpenter fan and that gets him emotional. Howard said he wants to see him cry more so he had Fred keep going with the music.
Howard said he's never seen Richard and Art the Clown in the same room. Richard said Yucko gave him that mask. Howard said Yucko is the scariest clown. Richard said he and Yucko are big horror fans and they send each other stuff like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how much he cried when the Bills beat his team. Howard said he saw that game. He said he saw the look on Mahomes face. Richard said just wait for the playoffs. He said we'll see what happens. He said he likes the Bills fans and loves how they get drunk and throw themselves through a table.
Howard asked who the craziest football fans are. They said they think its the Eagles fans.
Richard said his wife is an Eagles fan so he's very happy for her. He said they're doing really well. Howard said Richard got upset with the refs. Richard explained why that was and gave the details of the game and why he got pissed. He said the refs want to make him not like football.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Art the Clown came from a movie called All Hallows Eve. Richard said he saw that. He said it's a compilation of different stories. He said it's like an Anthology.
Howard said Beth does this thing with their cat Yoda to help him clean his folds on his face. He said Beth lets him press into her finger so he can clean his nose and then he eats it off his finger. Richard said he'd buy a ticket to see that. Howard said it's really gross.
Howard said he had some guy send him a link to finance a movie. He said he's making a documentary about art. He said not Art the Clown but art. He said they need like 8 grand to finish the movie. He said he's not sure if he cares if the guy finishes his movie. He said he's not sure if he owns it after donating that 8 grand. He said he doesn't think he does. Richard said he might get his name in the credits.
Howard said he doesn't get the whole fund raising thing. He said Richard should own .25 of that movie. Howard said he'd like to know what Richard would make if he owned a part of that film for donating. He said he should have gotten a ticket for it at least. Richard said he hopes there's going to be a Terrifier 3. He said he's happy to pay to see it.
Howard asked Richard who is more terrifying. He said he might have to do it in brackets. He asked about Pennywise and JoJo the Clown. Richard said he's going to say that Pennywise was the scariest clown he has seen. He said the new It movie is so good. He said the guy who plays Pennywise is really good.
Howard asked about Chucky or Leprechaun. Richard said he might go with the Leprechaun. He said that Chucky is scary too though. He said he'll go with Chucky.
Howard asked Richard about Jason or Michael Myers. Richard went with Michael. He said he's the scariest. He said out of the slasher movies he's the scariest. He said the Michael Myers mask is a mask of a famous actor. He said it's a William Shatner mask. He said they turned it inside out and painted it white and that's where it came from.
Howard asked Richard who is scarier between Freddy Kruger or Leatherface. Richard said he loves this discussion. He said Freddy is the scariest.
Howard asked Richard about Freddy or Pinhead. Richard said that's a good one. He said Freddy still. He started to go into a long explanation why but Howard cut him off.
Howard asked Richard about Herman Munster and Gomez Addams. Richard said Herman Munster. He said he loved the Rob Zombie Munsters.
Howard asked about Dracula or Wolfman. Richard went with Wolfman. Howard said he has to think about that one.
Howard asked about Freddy or Fred Norris. Richard said Fred Norris. He said he's the quiet type. Howard said he knows the origin story there and he has Freddy Kruger beat by a mile.
Howard asked what's more frightening to Richard, a shower or a bath. Richard said a shower. He said he loves baths but he never has time for one.
Howard asked about Harvey Weinstein or Bill Cosby. Richard said that's a tough one too. He said maybe Cosby. He said he was lovable and America's dad. Howard said he also knocked people out. Robin said that you think you're going to see the guy from the TV show but you're really going to see Art the Clown.
Howard said he thinks he'd like to make a horror film with Bill Cosby. He said he would have him as the nice guy on TV and then you see that when he's human he's taking women in and doing all kinds of weird shit. He said then he dies but not really. He said he becomes Bill Cosby or Dr. Cosby. He said then he's worse because he's angry that he got locked up in jail. He said he hates the human race now. He said when he hears people talking dirty he just kills them and slashes them up. He kills Chappelle because he uses the N-word. He goes after Dice and tries to clean up comedy. Howard said every time a woman drinks he cums. He said then he goes into their dreams and has sex with them. Richard said he'd pay 25 bucks for that.
Howard said speaking of this movie Billy Eichner has a movie out. Richard told Howard who he is and how he used to do street interviews. Howard said Billy put out a movie called ''Bros'' and he learned about that on The Bachelor. He said it was the first gay romantic comedy. He said he's bummed because people didn't go to see it. He said Billy thinks that people are homophobic and won't go see it. Howard said he might be right about that but there should be enough gay people to see it. He said he's not sure if it's the homophobia or the fact that people aren't going to the theaters. Robin said it has to be something compelling to get people to go to the movies.
Howard said the movie grossed 11 million but it cost 22 million to make. Howard said the trailer wasn't that great. He said he may not be the right audience for that.
Richard said he and JD went to see a gay movie together. He said he didn't care if it was gay or not. Howard said they should have used Benjy getting fingered by Perez Hilton as the trailer for that Bros movie. Howard played a clip when Benjy was screaming with the finger up his ass. Howard talked it up like it was a movie trailer.
Howard said that's a good trailer. Gary said that was a New York City apartment at 10 in the morning. He said he's shocked that no one called the police.
Howard said the top grossing films were sequels so it's not surprising that a romantic comedy didn't do well. He said that he'd see it. He said he thinks it's great. He said he wishes it was more graphic.
Howard said the highest grossing movie was Marry Me and that made $22 million. Robin said it must have cost more than that to make it. Howard said probably.
Richard said High Pitch Erik used to get crab at the Yankee games and he probably ate a lot of those snow crabs. Howard said imagine that life of the crab. He said he gets caught and figures he's going to feed someone and it ends up being High Pitch Erik.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he figured out what Richard would be owed if he owned part of the movie. Howard picked up and the guy said that he would be owed $250. Robin said he's right. Richard said he'd give that back to the director for the next film.
Howard took a call from a guy who hung up before he said anything. Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wanted to thank them for recommending the movie To Leslie and she watched it a couple of times. She said it's well worth watching it even though it's a little long. She said it's totally worth seeing it.
Howard said this movie is directed by Michael Morris who is Mary McCormack's husband. Howard said Mary was in Private Parts with him. He said he asked to see this movie and it turns out to be fantastic. He said he opened his yap about saying something to Ted Sarandos over at Netflix. He said that got Mary excited but nothing came of it. Howard said he thought the movie was so good that he would have liked it even longer. The caller said it's 2 hours but totally worth it. Howard said they heard that already.
Howard said he said he was going to call Ted Sarandos and then he figured he can't call Ted. He said he figured Ted would think he was an annoying asshole. He said that Ted is a fan of the show and he's had dinner with him. He said that he hasn't heard from him for a while now. He said Ted asked if he had anything he wanted to do at Netflix. He said he had Howard Stern the High School Years and he wanted to do that. He said he didn't want to do that because the scripts are shit.
Howard said he would like to see the movie on Netflix but he wasn't able to make that call. He said he did champion it on the show though.
The caller told Howard that the interview with Charlie Puth was really good. Howard said he talked with him after the show. He said those songs he did were so good. He said he should read the fan feedback about the interview.
Howard read through some of the feedback about that interview. He had a lot of positive stuff about the interview. Howard played some of his performance of ''Loser'' too. Howard read more of the feedback and played another clip of one of the songs they performed. Howard said a lot of people brought up the Bonnie Raitt cover they did too. He played some of that.
Howard said he can really play that piano. He said he's envious. Richard said you have to be a musical genus to go to Berkeley. Howard said Charlie said he's going to take clips of Robin and make her sound good. He said he's doing it. Robin said don't waste your time. Howard said Charlie is doing it. Robin said if he can do that it will prove he's a genius. Howard said she'll be so impressed. Robin said when he was singing that song yesterday it was about anything you love. She said it's not just a person. She said it can be anything you love that you just can't be a part of the way you want to. She said it was so beautiful. She said if she could sing she doesn't know what she would do with herself. She said if he could make her sound good she may never stop singing. Richard asked if she has ever trained vocally. Robin said she has. Howard said we're hearing a trained singer.
Howard read through more feedback about Charlie. He played some clips of Charlie explaining how songs pull people in. Howard played another clip where Charlie explained how Paul McCartney works. Howard said that stuff gives him the chills. He said he was so good.
Howard read feedback about Charlie and Jan playing Hotel California. He played a clip of that too. Howard said he loves that. Robin said she read about that solo and how Joe Walsh and Don Felder just did it and it just came out.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he has to talk about Charlie for a minute. He said there was so much going on. He said he didn't know how Howard knew he'd be so good. He said he had to drop everything and just sit and listen. He said it was great. Howard said he knew the guy was a massive talent. He said he is very popular with the younger generation. He said he knew he was going to be good. He said he had to get him in there. He said everyone wanted to get him in there. Richard said he's a big fan of the show too. He said he loved the story he told about Medicated Pete blowing him off.
Ralph said that these guys don't collaborate and everyone is afraid to talk to other artists. Howard said collaborations can be disastrous. He said song writers have such a clear vision and it can get mucked up if you get together with others. He said even in radio you have to have the right mix of people. He said it could be a mess if you had all the greats in one room. He said collaborations don't always happen because of that.
Ralph said that Billy Eichner made a stupid movie that no one wants to see and it's just bad. He said it looks bad. He said this guy in the trailer is too good looking for Billy. He said it's just weird. He said even Chris doesn't want to see it.
Howard asked Chris what the problem was. Chris said it was so indulgent in its own promotion that it didn't look good. He said that it turned him off. He said the promotion was too much. Howard said he's a gay man. Chris said some days he isn't sure if he's gay. He said he saw that Heidi and her daughter Leni stuff yesterday and he thought it was hot. He said he has watched lesbian porn and gotten off to it. He said he has jerked off to that stuff. Howard said he has many gay friends and they say that the vagina is so disgusting to them that they thank god they're gay. Chris said that every gay man wants a man ass. He said that they are going out of the way to make an asshole look like a vagina. He said that it's a man pussy. He said that's where they go.
Howard played the Benjy and Perez Hilton clip again and talked it up as the gay movie trailer.
Howard said if he makes a gay rom-com they're going to see it. Richard said that Chris and Ralph have to go see this Terrifier 2. Ralph said he's not going to see it. Ralph said that he also lied about going to the theater for the first time to see that. He saw another film the week before. Richard said he did but he didn't want to explain all of that.
Ralph said he thinks that Chris is really dirty. Howard said he has to talk about Ralph and Chris. He said when he was dating before Beth Ralph came to him once and told him he shouldn't be with this woman because she was ''dirty.'' He said she was so lovely and he liked her so much. Ralph told him that she was dirty and he didn't even know what that means. Chris asked why he thinks he's dirty. Howard said the one who is dirty is Ralph. Ralph said there's a pervy dirty and then there's a dirty. He said Chris is turned on by things that are wrong. He said that's why he likes the lesbian thing with the mom and daughter stuff. Chris said it was the hand on the side that was dirty for him. He said it wasn't even the kiss.
Howard said Richard and his dad should do a shoot like that. Richard said his dad would never do that. He said he will call and ask though. Howard said he thinks they'd fly him out there for that shit. Ralph said that would be worse than the Terrifier. Howard said it would.
Howard said imagine if he and his dad did that. He said his dad wouldn't even talk to him. He said imagine if they were in their underpants holding each other. He did an impression of his dad telling him how to pose.
Ralph said that Heidi thing was hot. He said it wasn't pervy. Howard said imagine Richard and his father. He said he thinks Richard would be fully nude with his dad. He said he should record the conversation with him. Richard said he will. Howard said he should be nude and his dad should wear a jock strap. The guys were suggesting what they should be wearing. They came up with all kinds of scenarios for them.
Howard said he and Bruce spoke for a few minutes yesterday. He said the man was lovely. He said it was a very loving call. He said he asked him what songs he wants him to play on the show. Howard said he's going to come up with a list but he would be happy if he played anything on the show. He said Bruce also said he would talk about therapy and anything he wants. He said he's really up for it. The caller asked if he read about his depression. Howard said he did. He said he thought his book was incredibly honest. He said he will talk about anything and everything. Howard said they need about 25 hours with the guy. He said there's so much to talk about.
The caller said we are blessed to have that man. Howard said he doesn't know how many songs he will discuss or perform but if he has to narrow it down to two then he'll have to do that. He said he came up with about 10 he'd have to narrow it down to. He said he has a problem. He said there are too many songs.
Howard said he thought of Ross Zapin and wondered what he would want to hear. He said people have their favorites and people are going to be pissed off. He said he told Bruce anything he plays he'll be honored by. He said he came up with two. Gary said Thunder Road, Born in the USA, Tougher Than the Rest, My Home Town, The Promised Land and The Rising are the top songs Howard picked. Howard said if he had to choose two he said Tougher than the Rest and The Rising. He said he cries whenever he hears Tougher than the Rest.
The caller, Dorothy, made a weird sound when they mentioned one song. The guys picked up on that and did an impression of her doing that with all of the songs. Dorothy said she's sitting on her speaker while they do this. She asked when they're doing this interview. Howard asked if he should say the say. Gary said he thinks it's out already. Howard said it's on Halloween, October 31st.
Howard said he has to ask Bruce a lot. He said he has already written 500 questions. Dorothy said they should dress up for Halloween that day. Howard said he should dress p as Art the Clown.
Howard said he was thinking about all of the songs Bruce has. He said he has at least a few hundred. He asked Gary how many he thinks he has. Gary said he would think a couple hundred at least. Howard said he's wondering if he can remember all of the lyrics. Robin said she thinks he has gotten lost and he uses a teleprompter. Gary said he thinks he only uses that for requests.
Howard said he has so much to ask him about. Dorothy said that Bruce did the halftime show and he said it was fucking amazing. She said they had a huge gospel choir there and they put so much work into that show.
Howard asked Wolfie what he's got to add to this. Wolfie mentioned a couple of songs he's surprised he left out. Howard said he had to narrow it down. He said there are just so many. He said he thinks he should come in and do a 17 hour concert. Gary said there are a few more songs he'd like to mention. Chris was doing his impression of Dorothy making the grunt sound for all of those songs. Robin said she thought that Dorothy sounded a lot like Chris doing his Blue Iris voice. She said she heard the caller but Chris' lips weren't moving. Howard would mention a song or an album and Chris would do his Blue Iris voice and moan like Dorothy.
Howard said there are people on the phones already with complaints about what he's missing. Gary said there are just too many songs. Howard said he has to narrow it down. He said he has to talk to the guy too.
Howard said maybe he can ask Bruce to do Blinded by the Light acoustically. He said that might be good. Gary said he's seen it done and it is good. Everyone was throwing songs out. There were a lot.
Howard said he has to think of a song that Gary has heard him do on the album but has never done it acoustically. Gary said he'd have to think. Howard asked about 10th Avenue Freeze Out with just a guitar. Gary said he's not sure about that. He said he thinks there's a piano version of that. Howard said he has to think.
Howard said how about Because The Night. The guys were moaning like Dorothy. Richard said he wants to hear Dorothy listening to the interview when Howard talks to Bruce. He said we need a commentary track. Richard asked her to record herself listening to the interview. Chris was still doing his Blue Iris impression.
Howard said they have 4 guys playing in the game. He said that the two that Beth picked she may have dated. Howard said this is someone that Beth so approves of. He said she thinks this guy is the guy. Howard said there's another guy... He said they have put a lot of energy into this. He said they think they know who is good for her.
Howard said one of the guys is going to be Art the Clown. He said High Pitch has been lobbying hard to be in it. Howard said he left a message the other day pitching himself. He said he said that Erik said a lot about her. He read the comments Erik left about her. He even said he knows when her show is on in New York.
Erik said she is the hottest girl on TV in the morning. He said he loves her. He said she said that she doesn't like to have a lot of sex so that's good for him. Howard said he thinks Erik is confused sexually. He said he might be better suited to date a man. Erik said stop it. He said he just wants a shot. He said see what Drew says. Howard said he has to be honest here. He asked if he thinks Drew wants a guy who couldn't cum after being blown for 3 days. Erik said he does actually.
Howard said he was thinking he should date Drew... Carey. He said that's the right Drew for Erik. Richard said he probably watches The Price is Right. Erik said that he doesn't like snow crabs by the way. He said that he does like the sushi bar at the stadium. Howard said he stands corrected then. He said he wasn't right for blaming Erik for that snow crab shortage.
Erik said that he did try and he wants to say something real quick. He said he's on Cameo and on the Uncle Rico Podcast. Howard said okay. The guys goofed on him about that. Howard said alright, Uncle Rico.
Howard said Beth had some ideas for who might be suitable for Drew. He said there were so many dudes. Beth came in and she was all dressed up for something. Beth said she's meeting with a designer for a piece of jewelry she's deigning for a charity. Howard said they have a foundation and they pay for a lot of pet stuff. Beth said every other day she gets packages from people with stuff she loves. She said she has enough stuff and sweets. She said if you want to help you can donate online. She said she has enough stuff herself.
Howard said they know some wealthy people and they will adopt a pet and they think that they'll donate but no one ever does. He said they pay these vets a lot of money. Beth said their bill was $38,000 last month. She said that was just last month alone. Robin said these bills never go away because they take cats in all the time.
Howard said the foundation is really just him. Beth said they had a puppy come in that was hit by a car and the bill is already up to $13,000. Howard said they had a cat that had a hernia and all of its organs were outside the body. He said it was going to die. He said they took it in and paid for it. He said it got adopted the other day. He said he's doing fine now. Howard said these wealthy people will give like $250 tops. He said the care package they give is about 250. Robin said they look like they wont have room in the car with all of the stuff Beth gives them. Howard said he makes a good living but someone has to donate to this cause. He said he has to keep working to keep up with this.
Beth said that she posted a picture of Yoda and they said it was offensive content. She said she reported it and she got blocked. She said then she got another notification about posting inappropriate things and now she's not sure what to do. Howard said people are doing that on purpose. He said animals will die. Beth said she's blocked from Instagram now. Howard said he thinks they made a contact over there and they have to get a round about to them to fix this. He said there's nothing wrong with what they're posting. Beth said that maybe it was something she posed about ''Duck, duck, Yoda'' and how maybe they confused it with something.
Howard said he knows it's the listeners fucking with her. Robin said she loves the rabbit with the cat. She said it's so great.
Howard said these rich dudes are always giving money to charity but they should give some to Beth's charity. Robin said they have to have an auction or something. Howard said they don't do that kind of thing. Beth said that she's deigning a necklace for the holidays that will go to the charity.
Beth said they have to get to Drew. Howard said Beth picked two of the guys for this dating game. He said she's so into this whole thing. Beth said she feels that they're great and she's shocked that they're single. She said the first one is someone she's been fond of since she moved to New York. She said she dated this one and they remain friends. She said she knows that he once had a crush on Drew so that was interesting. Robin said that would be exciting. Beth said that she got in touch with him and asked if he was single and he still was. Howard said Beth picked one other guy as well. He said Gary picked the other two. He said that the competition is intense.
Howard said they had a lot of people they were picking from. He mentioned some of the guys, not by name, and who they passed on. He said there were a lot of dudes.
Howard said he thinks they're going to do it like the dating game with the guys being anonymous. Beth asked if they'll talk about that after. Howard said they will. He said he'll talk about who the guys are.
Beth asked what the date is going to be. Howard said they're going to go off and do their own thing. Beth wondered if she gets to go on the date. Howard said no way especially if the guy is the one who Beth dated.
Howard said Benjy wanted to try out for this but he said no. He said Benjy did lose a lot of weight though. Beth said that Benjy is a good guy and she likes him. Howard said he said no to Benjy because he wanted the date to be bigger than just the show. He said Blitt wanted to date her too. Howard said he thinks she'd dig both of them but he doesn't know.
Benjy said he thinks it's the familiarity thing. He said if he wasn't on the show he might be into it. Howard said there's no mystery there. He said he knows too much about him. He said Benjy feels a strong connection to Drew because they look at the world in the same way. Beth said he should let him in. Howard said he can't make it 5 guys.
Howard asked Benjy if he's seeing a woman. Benjy said they broke up recently. Beth asked who the other guy is. Jon Blitt got on and said he has a screenplay for her that would get her an Oscar. He said he wrote it and it's fantastic. He said JD told him that. He said the movie is called E.T.'s Back and it's a drama. He said he's been writing it for the past month and it's fantastic. Beth said she thinks he should be a contender. She said he's cute.
Howard said he heard that Blitt broke up with his fiancee. Blitt said he did break up. Howard said he heard he's dating up a storm now. Jon said he is and it's fun. Howard said he did the same thing before he met Beth. He said he was going to kill himself from dating so much.
Robin said she was so happy when Howard met Beth. She said that everyone would tell her where they saw him out every night.
Howard said Blitt is dating up a storm and dated someone who looked just like his fiancee. Blitt said he doesn't think so. He said he's just dating and having fun. He said that's the way to do it. Howard asked if he's banging any of them. Jon said that his uncle once told him not to kiss and tell. Beth asked them to add Blitt to the list. Howard said he can't have 5 dudes. He said it's too much. Gary said they're still juggling some stuff around. He said he's all for Blitt being in. He said he thinks that she would love that script. Blitt said this is a guaranteed Oscar win for her.
Chris Wilding said a few nice words about Jon and said that he would be a catch for Drew. Beth said that she thinks Jon should be in it. Chris said he thinks that Beth wants to date Jon.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she saw Benjy on Bumble and she thought he was dating someone. Benjy said he did break up.
Howard said that Beth has pointed out that Blitt is good looking before. Howard said he doesn't see it. Jon said he thinks he's about a 3.2 out of 10. Chris said he's in good shape. Howard said he should spend more time in the writing room than working out.
Howard asked Beth if she's going to pop in during the dating game. Beth said that would be distracting. She said that would be a bad idea.
Howard answered a knock at the door and fake Andrew Dice Clay was there saying that he knows that Drew wants to drink his goo. Howard said you have to be a gentleman to date Drew. Dice did some classic Dice-like jokes about that. Beth said this isn't her type of humor. Howard let fake Dice keep going with his cock jokes and stuff. He eventually shut the door on him. Howard said that's not his sense of humor either.
Howard answered another knock at the door and it was fake Gary Busey who was going on and on about wanting to date Drew. Beth said she has to go. She said she's about to faint. Howard said she can go then. Howard said Gary Busey chased his wife right out of the room. Gary said he has that effect on people. Fake Dice came back in so the two were going on about how they want to date Drew. Howard said Arnold Schwarzenegger is there as well. Arnold was looking to date Drew too. Then fake Jodi Foster came in and then E.T. made an appearance.
Howard let all of them go and shut the door on them all. He said that's enough of that. He said they all just barged right in.
Howard said they will find Drew love on Monday. He said that's that. He said he thinks there might be romance in the air there. He said it would be great if she met someone on the show. Robin asked if Blitt would be willing to marry someone like that. Blitt said he is open to it. He said he's all in. Howard said they don't want nonsense. Blitt said he's like the most serious one on the show.
Benjy said no offense to Beth but she likes really perfect guys. Howard said she married one. Benjy said that's a good example. Benjy said he doesn't think that's the kind of guy Drew is into. Howard asked how he would know who she's into. Benjy said that's his gut feeling. Blitt said that Benjy should go to the show and hang out in her audience to see what happens. Howard said maybe that's what he should do.
Howard said he was shocked when Beth said that Jon is a good looking guy. He said he must be so hetero that he didn't get it.
Jon said he gets rejected. He said he went on a date the other day and this lady was a maniac. He said she was talking about death and went on a rant about the Chinese people she works with. He said she was threatening to a guy sitting next to them. He said after the date he got a bunch of texts from her asking if he wanted to meet up to smoke weed. He said he stopped responding to her and it was very bizarre.
Howard said he heard that Jon went on a date and he told the woman that he was a surgeon and he was operating on conjoined twins. Jon said two of the women believed it and one figured him out and said he was full of shit. Howard said it seems like he should be dating Benjy. Benjy said they have gone on dates. Howard said it sounds like his wife is pushing for Blitt and she usually gets her way. Howard told Benjy not to be bummed out.
Benjy said that Jon is more evil than he is. He said he doesn't think that's what Drew wants. Howard said he thinks that Benjy is going to be a bachelor the rest of his life. He said he sees what happens with him. He said he dates someone and finds something wrong with them. He said he always ruins the relationship instead of finding things right with the person. He said that you can find something right with anyone. He said he overlooks a lot of stuff. Benjy said that was a lot of his life but now he wants a relationship. Howard said he doesn't think he's capable of that. Benjy said he thinks he is.
Howard said if he puts him in the game and 3 months in she's no into having sex that much is he going to sit there the rest of his life and be okay with it. Benjy said he doesn't think that she's anti-sex. He said she's fine not having sex and he feels that way too. Howard asked Benjy if he jerks off a lot still. Benjy said not that much. He said in a long term relationship he'd be fine with not having sex that much. He said that he doesn't know what would happen with him and Drew. Howard said he can predict that. He said he will never meet her. He said he sees that clear as can be.
Howard said as much as he likes Benjy and Jon he's looking to bring in other people into this thing. He said he might have to bring Blitt into it though. He said that Beth might be right about him.
Benjy said he and Blitt have talked about Drew before and he thinks he'd be good for her. Howard said 75 percent of the office think that Blitt would be better for Drew than Benjy. He said Samantha and Mike Fox are the only two who think that Benjy would be better. Benjy said that he could connect with her on a different level than Blitt could. Howard said we'll have to see what happens on Monday. Robin said look at what's going on here. Howard said that's what he's trying to say. He said he might have to have Jon be part of this. He said he has to make his wife happy. Robin said she has run into Blitt a few times and she finds him annoying. Howard said if Blitt dates Drew is he going to be up to his antics. Blitt said no. He said he knows how to behave. Howard said Trump said he could behave like a president but he didn't. Blitt said he thinks he could do it.
Howard said they'll have to see what happens on Monday. He said he wants this to be serious. He said that Drew would know who Benjy is. He said she's a fan of the show. Samantha got on and said that she has talked with Benjy and they have had some nice conversations. Robin said that Sam has had nice conversations with Sal too. She said she can't take her seriously. Sam said she once thought about setting Benjy up with her sister. She said her sister just turned 40. She said the age difference was too much. Howard asked if she can't let her sister date Benjy than how can she think he's good enough for Drew. Sam said that's a good point.
Howard asked why Jon Blitt isn't a good fit for Drew. Sam said that she doesn't think Drew is into drugs and stuff. Jon said he doesn't know about that. He said he's not sure that she's sober now. Howard said he's not sure about that. Howard asked if Jon would be willing to give up weed and shrooms for Drew. Jon said he could do that. He said it's easy. He said he's good with kids too. He said he's amazing actually. He said he's a child but a very mature adult with a youthful spirit.
Mike Fox got on and said he has nothing against Blitt. He said he thinks he's charming and all but he does think that he likes to make things bigger than they are and if he did this game it might be fun. He said if you're looking to find Drew a mate he doesn't think Jon would be doing that. Blitt said something about some stuff that Mike has said in the office before and it's not going to work today. He said that Mike farts on dogs and that's the kind of guy he is. He doesn't trust him.
Sam said Benjy comes off very normal outside the show. Howard said that's not accurate. He said he has seen Benjy in strip clubs and bachelor parties and he's not normal. He said he's not knocking the guy but he's a real man.
Howard asked Ronnie what he has to say. Ronnie said Blitt is a nice guy but he went on a date with a girl who fell asleep in his apartment. Blitt said he did a ''Big Girls Don't Cry'' bit. He said he blasts the song and hits the strobe lights at 3:30 in the morning. He said then he hides. Mike said that neither of these guys should date Drew.
Howard said he doesn't get the sense that they're marriage material. He said he loves both of them but he doesn't think they are. Jon said he thinks he is. He said that story was a prank for Ronnie. He said he likes telling him stories. He said he doesn't have strobe lights.
Ralph called in and said that neither of these guys are good for Drew. He said that they're both good guys but not for Drew. He said Jon is crazy. He said it's great for the show but Drew doesn't want the Jon Blitt Show. Howard said he was saying that in the meeting.
Howard asked Jon to swear he's done clowning around. Jon said he is but not with Ronnie. Ralph said that Jon told him a story about dating 3 women at the same time. Jon said he had gone out on 3 dates. He said he's not juggling girls.
Howard said Jon does have a romantic side. He said he did propose to JD on an airplane once. He played the clip where Jon proposed to JD.
Howard asked JD if that was the worst moment in his life. JD said not his life but in the moment it was pretty bad. He said that he was embarrassed in front of all of those people. He said that he just wanted him to do it but not call him up there.
JD said Blitt is a funny guy and he is goofy but he can turn it off. He said it's not a 24/7 thing. He said if he's around Ronnie it might be but he can turn it off.
Howard thanked everyone and said he'll take it into account. He said we'll see what happens on Monday. Robin said she likes that they had people who weren't involved with the show. She said that way they can just do a dating game. Howard said that's what he was saying.
Howard took a call from fake Mel Gibson who did his ''get on her knees and blow me'' bit for Drew. Howard said he has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said Bonnie Raitt is good. He said there weren't too many guitar heroes when he was growing up but she was. He said he saw her in concert in Boston and he was blown away. He said she did it all. He said she writes too. He said what a sexy sound that is. He asked if Robin knows what he means. Robin said she's got it all. She said she used to wear all that leather. Howard said he's not even talking about that.
Howard said he doesn't really want to give his energy to Kanye West. He said he's tired of people excusing his behavior though. He said they say he's mentally ill. Howard said the shit that he's spewing is awful. He said he went on an anti-Semitic rant and media organizations are giving him exposure. He said what this guy is into is the same old stuff with the Jews. He said he caught so much horse shit in his life when he was young. He said these kids were taught that Jews are evil because they killed Jesus. Howard said he didn't do it. He said that he's not in some secret organization either. He said that there aren't any rich people in his family. He said he didn't get one cent.
Howard said his grandfather worked in a sweat shop and he left him nothing. He said the guy got to go to work every day and undress to his underwear and press clothing in this hot room. He said they had to move every month because they weren't able to make rent. He said that's how rich he was. He said he didn't have an easy time growing up. He said he didn't know any of these ''rich Jews.'' Howard said they say they're running everything. He said this country is a Christian country. He said it's being run by Christians. He said Christmas is well ensconced into the vocabulary of this country.
Howard said this Kanye was on the Chris Cuomo show spewing his anti-Jew rhetoric. He said they keep saying that he's mentally ill but they don't appoint a conservator for him. He said that if he is that mentally ill then commit him somewhere.
Howard said he hates to play this shit but it's so fucking wild. He played a clip of Kanye talking about getting canceled by the Jews after he wore his ''White Lives Matter'' shirt. He said that he had shows canceled and they call him ''the rapper'' even though he's a fashion designer. Howard said he is a rapper and that's how he got famous so of course they're going to call him a the rapper.
Howard played more of the clip and Kanye was going on and on about the Jewish media and how they're not going to be controlled by them anymore. He said if you have an agenda then you're going to get canceled by them. Cuomo tried to say something to him but Kanye told him to stop interrupting him because he's not done. He said his people need to hear what the truth is. Chris said he can't let him attack people like that. He said that's anti-Semitic.
Howard said Kanye used to be fun crazy but now he's like Hitler. He said there are about 7.5 million Jewish people in this country and that's about 2.5 percent of the population. He said it's not something that Kanye should be worried about.
Howard said the family of George Floyd is suing Kanye over something he said about fentanyl.
Howard played another clip of Kanye rambling on and on about the record companies out there making it like slavery out there. He was blaming the Jews again. Chris Cuomo defended the Jews and said that they have been fighting for themselves and for the black community as well. The two went back and forth as they were wrapping up the interview.
Howard said that's crazy. Robin said she wishes that they would give this up. She said the country is so divided and we're going to get attacked and we won't know where to turn to. Howard said this was the oldest way of attacking people. He said the irony is that the Jews and blacks in this country have been shit on and the people in power love seeing this. Robin asked who would want to be Jewish with their history. Howard said not him. He said he just wanted to fit in. He said he was tired of not fitting in.
Howard said he's so easy to get caught up in click bait. He said this Rebel Wilson was mentioned in an article about how she was in a bikini. He said that she lost a lot of weight. He said he clicked on the click bait and there were no bikini photos. He said he didn't understand the end game in that. He said he clicked on it and they didn't have any pictures. Robin said she gets that too. She said she's not sure what the point of that is. She said there are ads and banners on the sides. She said she eventually turns it off.
Howard said there should be laws against that whole thing. He said Steve Kingston sent him something. He said he has a good track record with him. He said he sent him this thing about ''Vabbing'' which is dating trend. He said this is from the Daily Mail. He said this is a natural pheromones kind of thing where women dab their vaginal fluids on their body to attract men. Robin said that you can put it on pulse points and that must be what women are doing. Howard said the phrase came out in 2019. He said this author mentioned it in a book she wrote. Howard said there's no proof that this works. Howard said this woman swears by it though. Howard said they should bottle Robin's goo and sell it.
Howard said he enjoys seeing people who age poorly. Robin said she clicks through those too. Howard said he doesn't click on those anymore. He said he knows they're not going to show him.
Howard said Beth asked him to take selfies. He said he got pulled into that. He said he had to fix his hair and wash his hands after petting the cats. He said that Beth has to check with him on all of the pictures. He said he hates every one that he's in. He said he's a mess. He said he used to look halfway decent but now its horrible. He said he hasn't seen anything good lately. Robin said there was one recently where he had a good one. Howard said that was one out of how many?
Howard said his therapist asked him to have some dreams so he can analyze them. He said he can't just order them up but he did have some recently that he remembers. He said he has to bring those up with him. He said he had a dream where he lived in a country where Rush Limbaugh was never given the medal of freedom. He said that still haunts him. He said imagine that guy got the medal of freedom. He said it's a big honor. He said no one wants it now though.
Howard said his other dream was going back in time and he killed the guys who invented fireworks. He said it's fantastic. He said fireworks not longer exist in that world. He said the world was so quiet and peaceful after that. Howard said he had the nicest fourth of July ever after that. He said he always laughs when people blow off their hands with that stuff. He said of course they lost their hands. They're lighting dynamite in the dark.
Howard said he would rather just look up in the sky and see stars. He said he's not sure why he's so happy seeing people age badly. He said it must be a comparison to himself. He said he saw a famous actress who was beautiful in the past and she was on the beach with her husband. He said she was on the beach and her ass looked like his ass. He said she looks like him now. He said he used to jerk off to her when he was a boy and now her ass looks like his. Howard said he did feel better about himself.
Howard said he saw someone younger than him being interviewed the other day and the guy looked worse than him. He said he looked ridiculous and he loved it. He said the guy was dying his hair and it looked like vomit.
Howard said that's why he loves Real Housewives. He said that Lisa Rinna gave herself those ridiculous lips and she thinks she looks good. He said she doesn't look human. He said she claims she took them down but then she blew them up again. He said her lips are gigantic. He said Robin has nice lips but they're normal. Robin said she wouldn't put anything in them to make them bigger. Howard said it's beautiful the way they are. He said it's like those wax lips they used to get as kids. He said he should have her on the show and walk in with wax lips. He said he loves seeing the bad plastic surgery too. He said some people they know just look so bad.
Howard said he feels bad sometimes. He said some famous people used to be so good looking and they had surgery and they look awful. Robin asked what he thinks about people who are 60 and running around like they did when they were 30. Howard said he's still dressing like he did 20 years ago. He said he's not sure he's ever going to leave the house if he gets worse looking. He said his mother is turning 95 and she doesn't want to leave the house because she doesn't think she looks good. Howard said she looks horrible for her age. He said he tells her that no one expects her to look good at 95.
Howard said Beth still has sex with him and he can't believe it. He said he's convinced she's repulsed. He said he looks horrible. Robin said he looks fine. Howard said that's because his head is turned the right way. He said if he turns it 30 degrees to the left you'll see. Robin said some black goo will come out of her snatch if she sees that. Howard said he's thinking about some of the guys who were in that snatch. He said he's not happy about that. Robin said they didn't stick around for long.
Howard said Beth told him about how she was in a sorority in college and she said that all of them were trying to get her. He said she had all of the sororities asking her to join them. He said he wonders what reality she was living in. He said they knew that they could get more dudes to show up if she was in there.
Howard said he never had a dude come to him asking him to be in their fraternity. He said he's probably better off not being in one. He said they were playing cards in their dorm room while girls walked by.
Howard said he and Beth have a lot to talk about. He said they go on a walk every day and he hears about her boyfriends and other things. Howard said being good looking is different. He said he knows because Beth is good looking. He said people just ask to take their picture with her because of how she looks. He said he can't imagine what that's like.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they are spot on about ''anyways'' and the other one is ''anywho.'' Howard said his mom was into that. He said he has used that one himself. The caller said that he hates that especially in a professional setting.
Howard said his mother used to correct him on how he said jewelry. He said she said the word ''buffet'' wrong and he had to correct her. He said he had to correct her on how to say ''Naomi'' when she said that wrong. He said she busted his balls growing up and he's glad she did but she says a lot of shit wrong.
Howard said he's not sure what it all means anyway. He said we're all going to drop dead. He said he thanks god that he never bought a Fleshlight. He said they got a few free ones but he never would have bought one. He said he used a rubber doll but never a Fleshlight. He said he has been down before but he never fucked a flashlight.
Howard said Kanye can go ruin someone else's life. He said that guy is humorless. He said just imagine being that guy. Robin said he's a superstar and he's still not happy. She said everyone is torturing him.
Ronnie said he thought he was ending the show. Howard said he will. He said if they get into it now they'll go until 11:30.
Howard said he was intrigued by this whole thing. He said the women there didn't know who this guy was. He said then Ronnie is asking to see some tops come off.
Ronnie said he was just doing what he was asked to do. He said he had a script. Howard asked what the script was. Ronnie said they were doing a scavenger hunt and stuff.
Howard said he has to play this. Ronnie said this guy asked him to do this party appearance and he asked him about his fee and all of that. He said it was a whole thing. He said he was a good dude. He said he had a fun time and it was outside so it was good.
Howard asked if he has an agent. Ronnie said no. He said the guy told him what he wanted him for and he was able to cut his hours down and lower the rate. He said he works for a no-kill shelter and Stephanie told him to give him a break so he did.
Howard said he wants a recording of the negotiations. Ronnie said it was just a couple of messages back and forth.
Howard made up what the conversation might have sounded like. He was doing his impression of Ronnie talking to the guy.
Ronnie told Howard about how the party was and how the dildo scavenger hunt went bad. He said that was a bomb but that was the guy's idea. He said he wanted to have a beauty contest or hot chick musical chairs or something. Howard said he's fascinated by him. He asked Ronnie if he does this musical chairs thing then some women might be insulted by that. Ronnie said he was going to let the guy pick the women. Ronnie said they could get up and flash if they wanted more points. He said you put up some prize money or something for them. He said the guy wanted to put up 20 bucks.
Howard said Ronnie's value is that he can get the girls kind of wild. Ronnie said you get there later and not at the beginning. He said they have a few drinks in them so they're carrying on.
Howard said he would imagine that the women there were older. Ronnie said there were some but there were younger women there. He said the guy's mother was there. He said his mom was a big fan of the show. Howard asked if he could have gotten her to flash. Ronnie said he wouldn't have tried that. Howard asked if he had any kids there. Ronnie said there were no kids there. He said it was in a bar.
Howard said Ronnie wanted to do his own thing there. Ronnie said he wanted to do his own thing and not use a script.
Howard said they got him doing a scavenger hunt. Howard said he has to play this. He said this is not how to use Ronnie. He played a clip of Ronnie explaining the rules of the scavenger hunt. He said they have 15 minutes to find these things. He said don't open them or you might get infected with something.
Ronnie said within 3 minutes they found all of them and it was all guys. Howard said what a horrible party. Howard said this really isn't the way to use Ronnie.
Ronnie said he went to a party that Stephanie's job had. He said that they were doing nothing so he did a musical chairs thing himself and they still talk about it to this day. Howard said everyone loves hot chicks so Ronnie gets the party going by engaging the hot chicks. Ronnie said this guy had a script for him and that's not what they should be doing. Ronnie said no one gave a shit about what they were doing at this party. He said the guy should have let him do his thing.
Howard said here's Ronnie being introduced to the crowd. He said that he gets right to one of his catch phrases. Howard played the clip and Ronnie let out a ''Pussy!'' when he was asked what brought him out there. Howard said that's always on Ronnie's mind. Fred did his Ronnie Puppet thing yelling like Ronnie.
Howard said congratulations on another fine gig. He said it's hard to hear some of the stuff he says but here's a montage. He played a clip of some of the stuff Ronnie was saying at the appearance. He was doing a lot of yelling and ''Yeahhhh!'' kind of stuff.
Howard said it sounds like a prison fight. Fred did more of his impression of Ronnie at the party. Howard said they really didn't need Ronnie there at this party. He said he's not sure how driving him around led to this.
Howard said this is the final clip. He said Ronnie did a speech and it was all insulting. Ronnie said he's no comedian. Howard said they know that. He played a clip of Ronnie roasting this guy and just insulting him saying he's an old fuck. He was also asking why he's alone there. The poor guy said he's there with all the women there. He said that he just met someone named Stephanie who he really likes.
Howard said that's brutal. Fred did more of his Ronnie impression. Howard said that was more like bullying than anything. He said he was just insulting the guy. Robin said he just called the guy an old fuck. Howard said imagine you go to the party and don't know who Ronnie is. Fred said just call him Rumple Mundskin.
Howard said congrats to Ronnie again. He said here's Ronnie at the party. He did his impression of him saying fuck over and over and then saying good night.
Howard had the guy from the party, Bryce, on the phone. Bryce said it was great and the scavenger hunt was amazing and he can't help it if they were all guys who found them. Howard said whatever he paid Ronnie was too much. Bryce said he has been listening to the show for 31 years so it was great to have someone from the show at his birthday. Howard said he immediately leaked the video everywhere. He said he even got it to Apples. Ronnie said he put it on YouTube. He said that's how everyone got it. He said he told him that shouldn't happen but whatever.
Howard asked Bryce if he gets that he shouldn't have scripted Ronnie. Bryce said he doesn't get that. He said that times have changed. Robin said guys still want to see pussy and topless girls. He said times haven't changed. Howard said with the #MeToo movement things might have changed but Ronnie doesn't think they have. Ronnie said women like to party too. He said they like to have fun. He said they may not show their tits but they like to have fun.
Howard said Ronnie could have gotten his mom's top off. Ronnie said no to that. He said that he got a message from Bryce saying this moron Apples tried to interview him. Bryce said he ignored him. Ronnie said this guy is a true fan.
Howard said Apples doesn't have to get in on everything. Howard had Apples on the phone and he wanted to know what the fee was. Ronnie said it's none of his fucking business. He said he guarantees it's more than Apples ever made in stand up.
Howard said Ronnie claims that women still like to be objectified and still love taking their tops off. Ronnie said it's not just the women. He said he would have guys as the judges so they would have been involved.
Howard said if you want the full experience with Ronnie you have to let him go unscripted. He said he does things and gets people to do things that make you cringe but he makes it work. He said he somehow ignores the norms of society and makes his own rules. He said he does get the scene going. Bryce said he'll have him back for his 75th birthday and he'll let Ronnie get his mom's top off.
Howard let Bryce go and thanked the guys for everything. He said on Monday they'll have the Drew Barrymore dating game. He ended the show around 10:50am.