Robin said someone wrote to her saying that if she lives to 200 she's going to think this wasn't so bad. Howard said he wants to live forever. He said he's wondering if the essence of Rush Limbaugh is still around somewhere. He said he wonders if there's any chance that he is. Robin asked where he would be. Howard said he has to be in hell. He said that's where he'd put him. He said that with this time we have left he gets excited for this 2 week vacation. He said then he gets obsessive with vacation. He said he gets crazy and wants to do everything. He said he was working on his painting and then got into fountain pens. He said he's not sure why but it may have to do with dealing with computers so much.
Howard said he had these fountain pens that he's had for a while. He said he has some nice pens that Robin got him and he inked them up and watched some videos about how to clean pens and all of this. Robin said she had no idea here was that much to them. Howard said then he watched videos for why people like using them. He said there were things about the ink and how to write on certain types of paper. He said he was sending away for this paper and trying to understand all of this. He said now the pens are taking over his life. He said he was watching videos at 3 in the morning about how to clean fountain pens. He said he's not sure why he's even into this. He said he can't sleep and he's barely eating. He said that's not true. He said he's fat. He said he had to stop working out. He said he's just getting fatter. He said he ate pizza and cake last night on top of that.
Howard said he got obsessed with the pen thing. He said then he was on this web site about women who journal and keep them in special cases. He said you should hear these women talking about the Shake Sparrow journaling. He said they just about orgasm over it. He said they don't even have a relationship but they get worked up over these journals. He said he's looking them up and doesn't know what he's doing.
Howard said there's also Galen Leather cases. He said he's buying cases for the pens he doesn't even have.
Howard said he watched a video with Neil deGrasse Tyson talking about his pens. He said he got into this guy Brian Goulet guy and he had his assistant write to the guy about his pens. Robin asked how her pens are in his collection. Howard said they're great. He said he was getting angry with himself over his own handwriting not being that great. He said he should have paid attention in school. He said he was on fire over vacation. He said he was in a nightmare. Robin said that doesn't sound like much of a vacation.
Howard said he wants to be in touch and he and his psychiatrist got into a heavy discussion. He said if you want to get sad he'll get sad. He said his father never paid attention to him. He said his father loved his things but didn't love people. He said that his father loved his desk that he came home to. He said he never had a place to put his things as a boy. He said he would move every month so he had to hide his stuff. He said his father had a fountain pen he loved. He said he treated it so tenderly and lovingly. He said he thought to himself that he wished he was a fountain pen so his father would love him. He said that might be the connection there. He asked who the fuck knows. He said he didn't have someone to talk to about all of this.
Howard said he doesn't buy himself a lot of stuff. He said he'll buy Beth anything and his kids anything but he doesn't buy himself stuff. He said his father loved his pen. He said he loved that pen. He said he didn't share his love of pens with him though. He said he didn't share his world with him at all.
Howard said now he's an expert on fountain pens. He said he can't get one of his pens to write though. He said that he did talk to this Mr. Goulet guy. He said his assistant wrote to him and he didn't hear aback. He said that he told his assistant not to tell him who he was. He said that he's probably busy. He said he was on fire over this pen thing so he told Laura to tell him who he was. He said he broke down in 15 minutes. He said now he's treating him like he's his son. He said 10 minutes later they booked an appointment with Brian Goulet. He said this guy sat with him and taught him about pens. Robin said of course he is. She said he's talking to a celebrity. Howard said he worked hard to get to where he is. He said he has to throw his name around more. He said he just has to say who he is and meet with people.
Howard said Beth always says they have to be patient but he can't do it. He said fuck this. He said this Brian Goulet was teaching him about the pens and what they do and how they work. He said he was so obsessed over this that he didn't get to his painting. He said he even sent this guy Brian a note. He said that he wrote him a book with his autograph and it came out horrible. He said he went through 4 books and it still came out crooked and shitty.
Howard said this guy has real nice penmanship. He said he looks like he just crawled out of the ocean with his writing. He said he's such a peasant.
Robin said she has thought well of people and then sees their handwriting and thinks less of their intelligence.
Howard said he's been watching women on YouTube who journal. He said it's mostly girls and him. He said he must be a girl. He said he might have to change his pronoun to ''Her.'' He said no wonder guys don't talk to him. He said he must be a teenage girl who writes in a journal. He said he follows a lot of people now. He said this one girl films herself journaling in high grass. He said she's like a hippie. He said this was his March Madness. He said he spent 2 weeks watching girls journal.
Howard said the girls write on their laps and have coffee while they do it. He said he became obsessed. He said he barely watched TV. He said he did watch that Zach Snyder's director's cut of Justice League. He said it seems this guy was hired to make Justice League and they have all of these comic book characters in it. He said they all team up to go after this guy who wants to end the world. Robin said it seems like the same plot of The Avengers.
Howard said this guy had a vision for this movie and he got hired to do it and they brought in Joss Whedon to do some stuff. He said Zach got pissed off and then his kid died. He said he walked away from this thing and then they put out this Joss Whedon movie and it didn't come out so great. He said the fans wanted to see Zach's vision of it so they put that out. He said he liked it. He said it was long but he watched it in segments. Robin said she watched the whole thing in one sitting.
Howard said he was desperate for love from this guy. He said a month later he took a look at his father's back and he had new ones so his mother told him to do it. He said his father would lay on the bed and he would straddle him and pop the blackheads. He said that at least they had some kind of contact. He said his mother would hover over and watch. He said that he took a good squeeze and then the blackhead comes up and then it turns white. He said he would squeeze it until you get to the blood. He said that man would get tons of black and white. He said that he'd get excited about what was coming out of there. He said he just wanted love. He said his father would lay there quietly and he would dab it with alcohol to make sure here was no infection. He said he wouldn't yell at him for a few minutes after that. He said he had a way of popping the things with a paper clip so it would press the goo out. He said that he had this great way of doing it and he came up with it.
Robin asked if he ever came to an understanding about who his dad was that he didn't do these things that he needed. Howard said he did. He said his father was nice to his sister. He said he was able to be nice to her. He said that he made a man out of him. He said it's pretty amazing what he is.
Robin said she still wants to know how they have sex. Howard said he can control his powers. He said he can do it with punches so he can do it with sex. He said this show is really good.
Robin said the one thing she liked about Justice League is that they resurrected Superman. Robin said he was Superman in that movie. She said no one wanted to see another Superman movie but he's back now. She said she's not sure about Ben Affleck as Batman though. Howard said he's fine.
Howard said he thinks he wanted to fuck Aquaman and he's not gay. He said that guy is handsome.
Howard said he listened to some music over vacation too. He said he was listening to Esthero. He said he's not sure what she's up to these days.
Howard said he got a pimple on his nose over vacation. He said he squeezed that out over vacation. He said it's not like his nose isn't big enough. He said then there's a white dot on it.
Howard said he was obsessed over why Esthero wasn't a big star. He said just listen to this. He played some of her music and said she's got a great voice. He said this was from 1998. He was playing her song ''Heaven Sent.'' He said it's brilliant.
Howard said he was listening to Nickelback too. He said he's not sure why people goof on them. He said he likes their stuff. He said he likes their song ''How you Remind Me'' and played some of that. He said he's not sure why kids make fun of them. He said he's going to throw some love their way. He said Beavis and Butt-Head used to bust on Winger. He said that he doesn't know Winger that much but he doesn't get it. He said Kip Winger is probably really talented. Robin said he is but they goofed on him because he was so talented.
Howard said Simon and Garfunkel got together in 2003 and did a concert. He said they did The Boxer and it's just so good. He said he watched that like 20 times in a row. He played some of that too.
Howard said he's not sure if they're singing ''pocket full of mumbles'' or is it marbles. Robin had him play it again. Robin said it is mumbles. Howard wasn't sure what that meant. He said just say what you're thinking. He said that's why he likes Nine Inch Nails. He said they just say what they're thinking. He said this mumbles thing doesn't make sense.
Robin said this is a brilliant song. Howard said it is. He said they have great harmonies. He said he watched that over and over again. Robin asked if he's seen the Billie Eilish documentary. Howard said he did. He said it got great toward the end. Robin said she would recommend that.
Howard said he was involved in a lot of 90s music too. Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he would like him to answer in a serious manner. He asked if he thinks the 60s or 90s was better for music. Howard said he spent a lot of time listening to 90s music. He said that he's really talking about the early 70s and not really the 60s. He said it's hard to say but he'd probably go with the early 70s into the late 70s music. He said they had so many great bands. He said it was just crazy. Ralph said then you have Pearl Jam and Van Halen and bands like that. Howard said he can't pick one over the other. He said he spends most of his time listening to Lithium on Sirius. He said that's the 90s stuff. He said that time was pretty amazing. He said that they had Nirvana and the list is endless. Ralph added Foo Fighters too. Robin said she's been listening to the Foo Fighters channel lately and it's great.
Howard and Ralph did their Gina Man voice talking about all of those 90s bands. They were naming band after band.
Howard said a guy wrote him an email over vacation about Ralph and it's such a great observation. He said you have to listen to Ralph's laugh. He said he sounds like the Cowardly Lion crying. Howard played the laugh and then the lion clip from the Wizard of Oz. Howard said he sounds the same. Howard played the two clips and compared them. Robin said they should put Ralph's laugh into that movie clip and it would be perfect.
Howard said Ralph has another Beef of the Week. He said he has one about the Grammy awards. He said it's offensive so be prepared. Howard played the clip and Ralph was going off about slut shaming and how we should be able to do that. He went off on Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion being disgusting and fat. He said Cardi has a big ass and a bad tattoo on it.
Howard said he would normally say he'd lose his job over that but he doesn't have a job. He said there's no one to fire him. He said he's not against sluts but against people who aren't attractive. Ralph said Dua Lipa was on the Grammy's doing the same thing and in his eyes she's a 10. He said she's rolling around naked and being suggestive but the other two are doing it and he's not into it.
Robin said they're not sluts really. Ralph said he wasn't saying that they were really. Howard said he was more fat shaming than slut shaming. He told Ralph to get out of there with this opinions.
Howard said he didn't watch the Grammys. Robin said she didn't either. Howard said they did ask the staff about who was hot there at the Grammys. Robin said she saw the first half hour of the show. She said that they had Trevor Noah hosting.
Howard said JD said that HAIM was hot. JD got on and said that a couple of them were looking really good to him. Howard read about who was who in the band and who was wearing what. Howard said they were hot. He said JD also had Dua Lipa on his list. He said Miranda Lambert and Maren Morris and Megan Thee Stallion were also on the list. He said that JD liked Megan unlike Ralph.
Howard said that JD had an opinion about the best looking guys on the show and JD said Trevor Noah. He said Bruno Mars was on JD's list too. JD said he had a bulge in his pants that he couldn't avoid seeing. Robin asked if he looks for bulges like that all the time. JD said he wasn't able to not see it.
Howard read Ronnie's listen of hot women on the Grammys. He had a bunch on his list. He said Ralph and Ronnie picked the same hot guy which was Harry Styles. Robin said he is hot. She said she was walking around and watching and she had to run to the TV when she heard him singing. Howard asked what she would do to him if she could. Robin didn't get into it.
JD said the boa that Harry was wearing didn't do it for him. Ronnie said that's because he's busy looking at bulges. Howard said JD has started working out again so he's going to be hot. Robin said JD is supposed to be packing. JD said he's alright. He said he thinks he's average. He said he might have 6. He said he hasn't measured since high school. Howard asked if he thinks he's grown since then. JD said no. He said he was around six back then. He said he's not sure where the ruler and tip matched up. He said it might have been 6 and a quarter. Howard said he remembers his measurement exactly.
Howard asked how JD measured. JD said he used a ruler. He said he put it at the base and put them side by side. JD said he measured from the base of the balls. He said he put it at the base and put it side by side. Howard asked if he put it under his penis. JD said it wasn't under. He said he had it side by side. Howard asked if it was under or over. JD said it might have been a little over but not by much. Robin said it has to be longer than that. Howard said he will have to measure it when they get back to work. He said that they have to get an accurate measurement.
Howard said Ronnie will hold JD down and he'll measure him. He said it'll be like high school all over again. He said they'll pink belly him and measure his dick.
Howard asked if Ronnie liked the Grammys. Ronnie said he liked that Dua Lipa. He said she has that exotic look.
Howard took another call from Ralph who asked what's wrong with JD and how Dua Lipa didn't make the list. JD said she did make the list. He said open his ears. JD said that Maren Morris looked good too. Ronnie said JD loves the girls with the big butts. Howard said JD would go for the stripper that no one wanted. He said no one was fighting over those girls. Ronnie said he would have a great time because no one wanted that girl. Ralph said they would go to Scores and they had the hottest girls ever and JD would find the one bad one. JD said stop it. He said they don't know what they're missing. He said he saw this girl one time who had this huge ass and it as so fake that it didn't even move. He said he picked that one.
Howard asked what he means she had a fake ass. JD said she had implants or something. He said it was a fake ass. Howard asked if JD got to squeeze that ass. JD said sometimes he did. He said that he loved seeing that in his face. He said that was enough for him. Howard asked if he ever came in his pants there. JD said he doesn't think so. He said he may have cum from them giving him a lap dance. He said that's why you wear a long shirt and have it hang down. Howard asked if he'd get out of there or clean up. JD said you go to the bathroom and try to clean up as much as you can.
Robin asked what the guy's name was in the bathroom. Ronnie said it was The Doctor. Howard said the guy would help get the glitter off of you and offer mints and things. He said he had a way of spraying you down so you didn't smell of perfume. He said he knew you were going into the stall to clean out the jizz so he was great.
Ronnie said that guy had stuff that would get the stink off of you. He said it was like a coffee bean bag that would absorb the smells.
Gary said one day it was so bad there that he had glitter in his hair. He said that he went to a health club and want in and showered. He said that's how much there was in his hair. Ralph said he had a dry shampoo for that. Howard said the guy's name was The doctor because he was there to help you out after a day at the strip club.
Howard said Ronnie blocked Apples on social media over the vacation. Ronnie said Apples went on Facebook to ask people to report on him. He said he wanted people to spy on him. He said people were telling him to go fuck himself. He said he heard that King of All Blacks got thrown off of Twitter also. Howard said he believes that. He said you have to be careful what you do on there. Robin said she saw a senator who undid a woman's bra in a bar and then he asked for Cuomo to resign and then that came out.
Howard said he knows guys who can do the bra thing with one hand. He said he was never that good.
Howard said their team is so good that they did the Wizard of Oz clip with Ralph's laugh in it. Howard played the clip for Robin since she suggested it.
Howard said he has a lot more to get to today. He said he has to take a break first. He went over some of the stuff he has to get to like The Bachelor, Oprah's interview with Harry and Meghan Markle. He said he has to talk about a bunch of stuff. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he thinks about Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots a lot. He said he was a nice, sweet guy. He did another live commercial read after that.
Howard said while they were away there was a lot to cover. He said they had a 57 year old in the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated this year. He said he stopped reading that. He said that they got this woman to be in it and they also got a ''curvy Asian'' to pose too. He said they promote it that way too. He said that's kind of odd. He said he's not sure who is buying that magazine. He said it can't be an easy gig running that magazine.
Howard said he has a lot to get to but he has King of All Blacks on the phone about the Twitter thing. He asked why he was suspended from Twitter. King said he's not sure why. He said he has been on Twitter for years and he doesn't say anything crazy on there. He said he just promotes cameo and talks shit here and there. He said he doesn't know why they suspended him. Howard said he thinks what happened is maybe the fans are fucking with him and reported him. He said he doesn't know for sure though.
Robin asked what his last tweet was. King said it was something about how nice it is that they have a president who doesn't suggest drinking bleach to get rid of COVID. He said maybe his followers reported him over that.
Robin said people are reporting in the news that Trump wants to be back on twitter. She said that's not news. Howard said he doesn't think he should be allowed back on. He said that he was tweeting so much negative stuff and he was doing so many illegal things behind the scenes. He said he gets worked up over a lot of this stuff. He said this Governor Cuomo was great and he was a big fan of his. He said then this harassment stuff comes up. He said it's a great disappointment to him. He said his fear is that if you get some great politicians in office and then they get taken out by this stuff. He said Bill Clinton was great but he was doing some dark stuff. He said we can't afford to lose this guy Cuomo. He said you have to weigh it in your head and it's a very tricky thing. He said the guy isn't a rapist but guys like that are creepy. He said Bill Clinton may go up to a woman and get in your face. He said they're kind of creepy.
Howard said there's also this guy Rand Paul who has a new personality. He said this guy was going off on Dr. Fauci and it was very disturbing. He said Rand Paul used to be a reasonable guy. He said now he's saying to Fauci that he's not a real doctor and asking people to wear two masks and take this vaccine. He said he's not sure what happened to personal sacrifice and getting past this whole thing.
Howard said now Rand Paul is trying to be like Trump and not being civil to anyone. Robin said it was stupid but it worked. Howard said it turns people on who are angry. Howard played some audio of Rand Paul and Dr. Fauci talking about the Coronavirus variant and what's happening there.
Howard said he thinks that most people want Cuomo to say governor. He said he's afraid of what's coming down the line. Robin said Clinton didn't resign and Trump didn't resign so he should sit there and do his job. SHE said he should get ground for his dismissal instead of resigning now.
Howard said this Rand Paul has a contempt for this Dr. Fauci who devoted his life to public service. Robin said he got COVID and he was too dumb to avoid getting it. Howard said he feels really weird about the whole Governor Cuomo thing. He said he's not perfect and he doesn't' like that behavior. He said how about giving him some brownie points about the way he handled COVID. Robins said he did some things wrong there too. Howard said he's not sure what to think. He said he had his mom were talking about that and she wasn't ready to throw him out of office yet either. He said there are so many incompetent people out there and he can't stand to lose this guy.
Howard said he loves what Biden and his administration are doing to get shots in everyone's arms. He said they brought experts along to get the job done. He said it's like night and day for him.
Howard said his parents were very liberal when it came to race. He said they were unbelievable. He said they didn't want to leave an all black neighborhood. He said most of the white families moved out. He said his mother and father stayed. He said he thinks his father stayed because he didn't want to sell the house at a loss. He said his parents socialized with a lot of black families in the neighborhood. He said that she'd say they went to the ''Swarza party'' and they had names for everyone. He said they'd put down everyone but it wasn't a put down to them. He said their problem was that they would get invited to a party that didn't stat until 11 and they were upset that they had to go at 9. He said that was the big discussion in the house.
Howard said this idea that Meghan is freaked out that there are racists in the royal family shows that he's awfully sheltered. He said there's tons of racism out there. He said that's what human beings do and it's disgusting and it sucks but it does happen.
Howard said he was going nuts over this Meghan playing with their hair the whole interview. He said he was going crazy over that and he was wishing that he could have been born a prince. He said she was complaining that she wasn't able to go to lunch with her friends. He said they had their own castle to live in. He said invite them over. He said that's all he's saying. He said he would be the perfect prince. He said that they had it made and it's the greatest gig in the world. He said when it comes to racism, get in line. He said he's seen a lot of racism. He said he's staying in his house because of racism. He said he got the shit beat out of him when he was growing up because of racism. He said that he just wanted to stay in his house. He said his life was a series of beatings when he stepped outside.
Howard said when you complain about your life don't do it in a beautiful garden. He said they do these interviews there and it's hard to hear about their problems when they're sitting in those settings. He said he wants to be a prince so bad.
Howard said it's a good thing he wasn't doing the interview. He said when said she cried when she was planning her wedding he would have gone off on her about that.
Howard said then there was the Piers Morgan thing. He said he thought he was good on America's Got Talent. He said he knew him from that show. He said then he got on the air and said that Meghan was a liar. He said he was called out for that and then Sharon Osbourne came out in defense of him and she got into a fight with Sheryl on The Talk and now the show is off the air because she talked about her real feelings. He said now they show is off the air. He said he's not sure what's going on there. He said all he knows is that people are being canceled all over the place.
Howard said the queen of England is on the phone. He said he arranged this while he was on vacation. He took the call from the fake queen and she said she wanted to make a statement about that interview. She said they pronounce that ''Me-he-gan'' over there. The queen went on and talked about the interview and how she wanted to address the elephant in the room and by elephant she's talking about Oprah. Howard asked the queen what she thinks about this accusation about the racism thing. She said at least they don't have any fatties in the family. She made another joke about Oprah and then Howard let her go.
Howard said that he was jealous of Oprah getting that interview. He said he knows that she's actively involve with them. Robin said Tyler Perry was also involved and he's Oprah's friend. Howard said his problem is that he doesn't get in there with anyone like she does. Robin said it's like courting. Howard asked if it's sidling or saddling up. Robin said she doesn't know.
Howard said he would rather kill himself than have to put days in on trying to make friends with people to get them on his show. He said that he thought she kind of choked in place. He said she asked a question about them not telling her about who made the racist remarks. He said he would have asked who it was. He said she said ''You're not going to tell me...'' Howard said he wishes he could get people like that on his show. He said he just can't get it done. He's not going to go visit people to get them on the show. He said if you want to come on then come on.
Howard said that Meghan was upset about things that happen in every family. He said he doesn't get it. Robin said that they were complaining about their life in America. Howard said he liked that move where they were talking about raising chickens. He said if Oprah had eaten all of the chickens that would have been funny. He said that he knows the whole chicken move is to make it look like they're regular people.
Howard said he doesn't know what's going on. He said he watched that and the fallout from the interview was weird with the Piers Morgan thing. He said Sharon seems to know something. He said that Sheryl Underwood tried to explain it to her and now they've all been shut down.
Howard said they do this show called The Talk and she talked and then they got shut down. He said Piers walked off his own show. He said Jay Leno did that once when he was on. He said it's all too weird. He said everyone is just trying to figure it all out. Robin said it seems to be getting more confusing instead of clearer.
Howard said he's not sure what they should do about Sharon. Robin said when Julie Chen had something to talk about she left the show. Howard said they constantly ruin that show. Robin said Julie left before they could throw her off. Howard said he thought it was entertaining tat they had a heated conversation.
Howard said he had Sharon had a great time working on America's Got Talent. He said she would lean into him and say something crazy about a contestant. He said she's hard core. He said that he just liked her a lot. Robin said she did too. She said you can't say anything anymore.
Howard said Sharon should come on their show and they should have her walk nude out on the streets and yell ''Shame!'' over and over. Robin said then she can go back on The Talk after that. She said she wants to have Piers do the same thing. She said she wants to see if he should be ashamed. Howard said he probably has a small dick.
Howard said Chris Harrison was kicked off The Bachelor and he thought he was good on the show. He said that he got thrown off the show for defending someone over this antebellum party thing. He said he had no idea what that even was. He said he was never invited to any parties when he was going to Boston University. He said that he may have gone to one if he was invited. He said if he knew what it was he would have backed out.
Howard said he thought the girl on The Bachelor was really in love with that guy and he bailed on her over that party. He said he didn't get the idea that the guy was in love with anyone other than himself on the show. Howard said the antebellum chick went back on the show for the finale and she lost about 10 pounds and she looked really hot. He said that she got super hot. Robin said she wasn't able to eat on that shame diet.
Howard said she apologized to the guy but he said he just couldn't be with her. Robin said she tried to look at it from his point of view. Robin said she can't imagine that they'd be in an interracial relationship and not talk about what it would be like raising a black child. Robin said she can't imagine that it didn't go on with all of the girls.
Howard said the guy who filled in for Chris Harrison was actually really good. He said Chris was really dopey. He said now he's going to sue ABC over this whole thing. He said that he should have just said he had no idea what an antebellum party was. He said he got dopey and started trying to defend that woman over it. He said he didn't care what his opinion was on racism. He said that he's not the guy who should be out there talking about it. He said he's the dopey guy on the show where people are trying to find a wife.
Howard said it was like when they used to have the Miss America pageant and they'd ask them how to solve global warming. He said Chris Harrison is out now. He said he doesn't miss him. Robin said they did let him announce the show. Howard said he heard they got a couple of the women from this season for The Bachelorette. He said Chris must be upset that they threw him to the wolves. He said that ABC gave him the rope a dope. He said Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to host The Bachelor. He took a call from fake Arnold who said he should be the host. Howard spent a minute talking to fake Arnold about that. Arnold was cumming a lot during that talk. He said was very excited about a lot of things and he'd finish into what sounded like a metal bucket.
Howard said it was good to hear from Arnold. He said he hopes he's holding up during the pandemic. The guys had clips of Arnold they were playing so they would just play him saying ''Yeah, yeah, yeah...'' and things like that.
Howard said he loves Arnold and his movies. Robin said he has a new movie and it's him and Jackie Chan. Howard said he loves that. He said he loves everything he does. He said he thinks he'd be a great host of The Bachelor. Arnold came again.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she was so uninvolved in The Bachelor and she thought the whole thing was so awkward. Howard said it was shocking and they had to bring in a guy to replace Chris Harrison. He said you'd never expect him to get kicked off. He said even the girl who went to the antebellum party was on the finale.
Howard said when you talk about your life sucking living in a castle just think about this poor Asian woman who was probably jerking off 15 guys a day in this spa. He said she had to jerk guys off who look like Sal. Sal thanked him for that. Howard asked Sal if he ever thought about that. Sal said he's not saying that ever happened. He said he had a friend who went to one place and the girl lifted up his legs and she liked that he was so clean because the guy before him had shit all over his ass. He said it's horrible when you think about it. He said you have to wipe your ass and be a decent human being.
Howard said the reality is that some poor woman has to jerk guys off at work and then there's people like Meghan and Prince Harry talking about how awful their lives are living in a castle.
Sal talked about what it can cost to get jerked off in a massage parlor. He said it can be double the cost of a massage if they jerk you off. Howard wondered how these places stay open. He asked if law enforcement just ignores it. Robin said there are legitimate massage parlors. Sal said there's no such thing. Robin said Hand and Stone isn't jerking people off.
Howard said he doesn't understand how those massage parlors are even open during this pandemic. Robin said those places were some of the things that opened first. Howard said how about just jerking yourself off. He said it's so much quicker. Sal said a lot of these places go into rundown places. He said once they get shut down they pay a fine and open in another location. He said it's part of their overhead just paying the fine and moving. Howard said he finally has something Sal is an expert on.
Howard asked Sal if there are other massage parlors that are not Asian. Sal said there are. He said the Russian places are really expensive. He said there are Latin parlors too. Howard said Sal was going to start an app that showed people where to go to the massage parlors. Sal said he gave up on it since it's easier to just do the search on the internet. He said that the app was actually out and running for a while. Robin said his kids must be so proud. Sal said whatever pays the bills.
Howard said he could have been the expert on that and gone out talking about how they do the massages. Sal said there is a message board where they have reviews. He said that you read through it and you don't want to go back there after reading it. He said one guy reached for a girl's breast and she said ''no good'' and the guy would try again. He said that she had a breast removed and only had stitches there when he went to reach for it again.
Sal said another guy went to a massage parlor and this girl was hiding in the wall of the parlor. He said that she was making noise in there and he heard it. He said the guy said he won't return there after that.
Howard asked how they get away with not being shut down. Sal said he has no idea. He said he doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Sal said the Russian ones are in very swank places in the city. He said they'll bring out 5 or 6 women to pick from. He said from there it's like thousands of dollars more. Howard said that sounds like they're doing more than a massage. Sal said they advertise as massage parlors.
Howard said Sal is an expert on this but he says ''massadge.'' Howard tried to correct him but Sal kept saying the same thing. Howard got him to say it right once and then he had him use it in a sentence and he said it wrong.
Howard wondered if there's a difference between a $100 hand job and a $1000 hand job. Robin said they don't have a guy who is going to beat the crap pout of you if you get out of line at the Russian place. Howard said he figures they're video taping it all and they'll get you that way if they get a mark in there.
Robin said many of the women are probably slaves. She said they were probably brought over on a boat and they have to work off their debt by doing this. Howard said that Benjy went to a massage parlor and the woman refused to jerk him off.
Howard asked Benjy to come on. He said he thinks this is a true story. He asked Benjy what happened there. He saw him and said he looks good like he's lost a lot of weight. Benjy said he's at 213 so he is pretty low right now. He said he was a bit heavier before.
Benjy said he would go to places in New York and many of the places out there were massage parlors. He said he wasn't sure which ones were the hand job places or not. He said many of the places looked run down. Howard asked him to speed up the story and got him to the point. Benjy said he would ask if they do it everywhere if he wanted to know if they did the hand job thing. He said he would get on the table and you just wait for them to touch your dick. He said he'd push up and they wouldn't do it. He said they would say they don't do that there. He said that it was hurtful to him.
Sal said he thinks Benjy once tipped 5 dollars. Howard said Benjy got one and paid for it by cleaning up. Benjy said one of the places he went to he ingratiated himself by bringing them pizza and things. He said that this woman would have people train on him and he would do chores and get a hand job for helping.
Benjy said this was all back when he had no money and he was trying to find places to live and stuff.
Benjy said that some of the women were beautiful and some weren't. He said sometimes you'd have to ask for another woman and it as kind of tough. Howard said there are women who don't know how to give a good hand job. Benjy said that the look of the woman is a big deal to him when they're doing it right. Howard said Benjy probably has those eyes open while he's doing it.
Howard said Sal's app should have been a review app. He said it could have been an app like Uber where you rate each other.
Howard asked Benjy more about what he was up to back when this was all going on but he said it was like 20 years ago and he doesn't remember it all. He said he went back to the place and it had disappeared. Howard said it was like Houdini.
Howard said in 2019 there's a report that there are like 2000 illegal massage parlors out there. He said that people must be trying to make ends meet so they're running these illegal places. He said it's not easy being a guy.
Benjy said he was wondering if there was an up tick after the story came out that let people know you can go out and get a hand job.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what their hiring practices are there when they have guys like this on the show. Howard said he talks to Jimmy Fallon and Kimmel too about their staff and they all have pedigrees from colleges and stuff. He said he has guys like this on his show. Robin said she has to say that Howard is hiring in places that no one else is. Howard said he hires people that he can never lose.
Robin said Jon Stewart talked about how they were never diverse in hiring because of where they went to get people. She said Howard was the diverse guy. Howard said he opens up every sewer cover.
Howard said Richard was living in a storage unit too. He said more on that later.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can confirm what Sal is saying. He said he managed a shopping center that had a massage parlor. He said it was supposed to be a nail salon. He said they weren't able to get in touch with them but they had a private investigator look into it and they found that they had set up rooms in the place to give massages in. Howard cut him off and made a joke about Benjy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had one of these places that opened and they got caught because they had the laundry hanging to dry outside the place. He said they were living in there as well as working there. He said it was pretty horrible.
Howard said he thinks that these places should be legal and then the women could get health care and 401Ks and stuff like that. He said he wishes they'd make this stuff legal and make it safer. He said it's just weird. He said he's never paid for sex but he knows that people do.
Robin said she sued to go to pedicure places and she'd wonder if the woman was free to go. Howard said he has to take a break and get to more stuff.
Howard came back and said this is a great cover but Aurora does a great one too. He said David Bowie does a great cover of it too. He had Fred look up the Aurora version too. He said there's this video of a voice guy watching her do ''Life on Mars'' and this guy is almost cumming in his pants over the performance. Howard said he's not sure what happened to her. Robin said she probably went home to her country.
Fred found the version of the song Howard was talking about. He let that play for a bit.
Howard said Aurora was on the show and she told them a story about meeting Bob Dylan but it was in her dream. He said she's the real deal. He said that she's such a beautiful flake. Robin said then there's guys lining up at the massage parlor.
Howard said a lot happened in the two weeks they were off. He mentioned the stuff they had already talked about. He said that it was all too much. He said he's not sure what the fuck is happening. He said there's COVID and people are still running around on spring break and all of that. Robin said they're not listening to anyone. Robin said they had to stop it so the had curfews but the kids are breaking curfews.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Robin said something a month ago that was nonsense to her. She said that Robin said she said that she had ''finished'' without anyone touching her and she thought she was out of her mind but she recently found out that she was right. Howard jokingly said she must be racist then. She said Robin is black so she must be racist.
The caller said she had taken an edible and she had the most amazing orgasm she has ever had. She she was laying next to her boyfriend and they were just kissing and she came. She said that they were naked but nothing was touching. She said she finished like you wouldn't believe. She said she sat there in bed thinking about Robin. Howard said no woman has ever had that happened with him. The caller said she'll never doubt Robin again.
Howard said Robin is very passionate and she's got many stories about giving herself orgasms. He said this woman is filled with passion. He said if anyone can finish without touching it's her. Howard said that Robin should be commended for that.
Howard said he has a guy on the phone who can orgasm without touching himself. He took the call from the guy who was telling his penis what to do as he stuck his finger up his asshole. Howard hung up on him.
Howard played another one where he said you have to ask for ''soft touch'' when you get a massage. He said that way you know what you're getting.
Howard said he and Robin were talking about I Am Jazz before vacation. He said he was doing a thing where he was coming out to his parents as transgender and the guys took some of that audio and called a radio show. He said mayhem ensued. Howard played the call where the guys took the clips and called into the show as ''Howard'' who was coming out as trans and his parents had a hard time accepting it. They had Howard doing the impression of his parents going off about the whole thing. The show host would ask questions and the guys would play clips of Howard as his father or mother commenting about the trans stuff. Howard said that was nice that they wanted him to be happy.
Howard said they aired a special on Howard 101 called Wackipedia while they were off. He said the audience really loved it. He took a call from Mike in Maine who said he loved the special. He said that he had to listen to the Wrap Up Show because they had even more information during that show about the special. Howard said it's mandatory listening for any fan.
Howard said Mariann was on the special. He took her call and Mariann said she was the last one on the special and she wrote a speech about it. Howard let her yell a little more before hanging up on her.
Howard read some of the feedback about the special and about some of the stuff that aired during the special. He had a Beetlejuice quote from the special where he was asked who wrote the Gettysburg Address and Beetlejuice said he doesn't wear dresses. Robin said that is the best.
Howard read more feedback about the Wack Packers that were in that special. He had some comments about Riley Martin. That led to Howard and Robin arguing about what the response to Riley's ''Oh qua tangin wan'' was supposed to be. Howard said he does miss that guy.
Howard read about Beetlejuice and had some audio clips from an interview with Beetlejuice and Gilbert Gottfried where they kept going back and forth with the ''goofo' you'' thing.
Howard said Gary turned 60 on March 14th. He read some comments from the fans about Gary's birthday. Howard said Gary even posted on social media with a picture of his cake. Robin said she missed that because she's not on Facebook right now.
Howard said the guys made a phony phone call using clips from Gary's audio book where he talks about going skiing. Howard played the call and in it the woman hangs up on Gary after he tries to tell her stories about going skiing as a kid. The woman told him to just come to the resort and hung up on him.
Howard said that before they went on break they played clips of Tan Mom's job interview. He said the fans loved that and her song. Howard read through some of the feedback they got about Tan Mom. He played the song the guys created using clips of her trying to say Ariana Grande.
Howard said that's a great song. Robin said she loves that too. She said that she'd go around the house saying that name just like Tan Mom.
Howard said a lot of people wrote them about Memet and his nude neighbor. He said he moved to a new place and they have a neighbor who is a young girl who is nude in her apartment. Howard said Memet thinks they're shooting porno over there or something. Robin said it has to be better than the rats. Howard said he's not sure about that. He said the people who wrote in were worried for him and the way he was acting around his girlfriend Mary. Howard read through some of that.
Howard said that Ralph took a big hit in the mail about his comments about Ken Jennings. He read through some of that and then played some of the Cowardly Lion laugh compared to Ralph's laugh that they talked about earlier.
Howard said they didn't get to everything today but they did talk about a lot. He said a lot of people walked off their own show or got fired over that Oprah interview.
Howard said they adopted Dignity and her sister Destiny. He said he thinks he's good at naming cats. Robin said that's his expertise. Howard said he has a cat named Rhonda who they are adopting out. He said that's such a great name. He said they're going to keep Dignity and Destiny. He said that they're going to give Dignity her best life. He said that it's very sad but they can't turn their backs on her. He said they will put Destiny up for adoption when Dignity is gone. He said if you're thinking about getting a cat you can follow Beth on Instagram @BethOStern. He said that he loves Beth for what she does for these cats.
Howard said he would like for Beth to change her name legally to Stern but she hasn't done that. He said he would be willing to change his name to Ostrosky. He said he'd do that for her.
Howard said Gary sent him an article that upset him. He said WRNW was where his first radio job was. He said that they say that the building is facing demolition. He said he got sad over that. Robin asked if he wants to stop it from going down. Howard said he's not going to buy shitty real estate to keep it up though. He said it should be a landmark but they're going to redevelop it.
Howard said it's a little house and it was zoned commercially. He said they had a radio station and something else in there. He said they were side by side. He said this was at 55 Woodside Avenue. He said he's not going to step in to stop it. Howard said maybe Meg Griffin should go on a hunger strike over it.
Howard said he thinks they've done enough of a show today. Robin said she has to watch American Idol and talk about that. She said that they think they're exploiting that Conway girl on the show. Howard said he'd watch a reality show with Kellyanne Conway and her family. Robin said that can't be a normal family. Howard said she's pretty wacky. He said he's not sure if she's a complete wacko though.
Howard said he was trying to find a deodorant because the stuff he liked went out of production. He said he wanted something without aluminum in it. He said he was using this Crystal Rock stuff from when he was in his 40s. He said the stuff worked and a lot don't. He said he was talking about this dilemma he had with the deodorant and the guys from Crystal Rock contacted him and they fixed the bottle that had spraying problems. He said this stuff is called Nut Spray for guys. He said he's not going to use that since he does shower.
Howard said they sent over the new deodorant too. He said that the new Crystal Rock works great. He said he did an experiment over vacation. He said he didn't shower for 2 days and it lasted through that. Robin said Richard does that every day. Howard said he showers every day usually. He said he sacrificed his own body. Howard said maybe now these guys will come back and sponsor the show. He said he just wanted to give them a plug for that.
Howard said they have Sal and Wendy's stock picks coming up tomorrow. He said on Wednesday they'll be playing Stump the Booey with Jon and Gary. Howard wrapped up the show and ended it around 10:30am.
Howard started the show talking about how Robin's lights blew out. Robin said she did blow them out. Howard said he likes the lighting. Robin said that professional camera needs more light.
Howard said he's having problems with his ankle after working out. Robin said he may want to wrap it. Howard said he doesn't like rap. He said it's either his Peloton or his walks. He said he's not sure what aggravated it. Robin said all of that lower stuff is always being used so when they get hurt they don't have time off. She said the injuries may take longer to heal. Howard said Beth thinks he should go to the doctor. He said he's not into that during COVID. Robin said she wraps her own ankles with those Ace bandage things.
Howard said Beth got him Advil last night and he just slept next to it. He said it's kind of a drag doing the show because he has a headache in his ankle. Robin said this is how Howard lives. She said he has a complaint and he lets it fester. She said there are things he can do. Howard said he told Beth she can carry him around like Ariana Grande. He said he saw that she has people carrying her around. Robin said she does get carried on stage. Howard said he's used to being pampered but he might draw the line at that. He said he's not into doing a lot of things but walking is one that he can keep doing. He said he's not Ariana Grande.
Howard said he was in Detroit when he saw Alice Cooper do a show. He said he came in a helicopter and wrapped in a blanket. He said he did walk on stage himself though. He said he thought it was cool he came on a helicopter and wrapped in a blanket. He said he should do that. He said Alice is the greatest.
Howard said he has seen a lot of weird celebrity stuff. He said being carried around like a baby would be where he draws the line. He said that's just dumb. He said asking someone to carry you like a baby is just dumb. He said he might like to be pushed around in a stroller but not be carried.
Howard said he has done things like having Gary check his apartment for his jizz tissues. He said that he asked him to do that so his girlfriend wouldn't find the tissues. He said Gary didn't find any so he had gotten rid of them. Robin said she had hoped he did that for entertainment purposes.
Howard said he thinks he's pretty good when it comes to the celebrity thing. He said there was an article out about him when Ellen Degeneres was going through her thing. He said they said he didn't let anyone talk to him. He said he's not like that. Robin said he tries to avoid talking to people. Howard said that he'll admit to. He said he's not looking to interact with people.
Howard said he does a 4 hour show and he would have to lay down in his chair in his office to rest a little bit. He said he was woozy after talking and thinking so much. He said at one point the staff decided to figure out how to interact with him and they'd all congregate in the hall. He said that it was like a receiving line at a bar Mitzvah. He said that no one knew when he'd end the show so they'd start lining up around 11 or 10 or whenever it was. He said no one was working but they were waiting to talk to him. He said he'd be the nice guy and talk to everyone out there. He said that he wondered why they were all standing around waiting for him.
Gary said the worst for Howard was when the Howard 100 News team was out there waiting for him asking questions. Howard said back then he wanted to let them in. He said it was just people like the production crew and the writing crew who were waiting for him. He said it was like he was involved in another show. He said they just wanted him to see they were there and working. He said he was like what the fuck. He said for a long time he pushed his feelings aside. He said he likes hearing that he did a good show but he didn't want to do a show after the show. He said he didn't need to discuss the show and see everyone.
Howard said one day he came out and said he didn't have time to do that gauntlet there and say hello to everyone. He said he was shaking hands and all of that. He said then friends were being brought out there. He said it was a while fucking deal so he put a stop to it. He said he asked everyone to just work and not gather outside the door.
Howard said he should have security out there for that but Ronnie didn't do anything out there. He said he did say that's enough at one point and he asked everyone not to stand out there waiting for him. Robin said he used to take that walk to his car and get ambushed too. Howard said he really enjoys doing the show from the house. He said that duck and dodge was insane up there. He said they had offices there at SiriusXM. He said he's not sure if they're even there anymore. He said that he'd walk out of the compound and there would be celebrities with their publicists out there and they'd want to take pictures with him. He said it was rarely someone he wanted to hang out with.
Howard said these people would be in your face out there. He said Ronnie had no idea who they were. Robin said then they'd have people taking photographs out there. Howard said then they'd ask him to take pictures with them. He said he just had to go though. He said he had done 17 hours of show and he waned to get out of there.
Robin said they had that fish bowl out there too. Howard said he used to be all hunched over and trying to get out of there. He said he had a way to get out but he had to walk through the programming offices. He said that was still not easy. He said he had a lot of people talking to him out there too.
Howard said the quickest way out was going through the celebrities out in the lobby. He said he'd try to move fast but someone would come up behind him and he had to just get out of there. He said he used to just not turn around. He said he was being rude and he didn't want to be that way. He said he would turn around and say he had to go. He said he would talk to them but he had to get out of there.
Howard said if he was good looking he'd take pictures with everyone. He said he looks hideous and he's not into that. He said he's not sure if he wants to be in a picture with one of the Baja Men. He said he just wants to go home.
Robin said sometimes it would be people from Sirius out there. She said that Jenny McCarthy or Andy would be out there. Howard said he likes them but he can't stick around. He said he would stand there having conversations and he just wanted to go home. He said his hours were running out of the hourglass. He said he remembers once Robin's nutritionist was out there yelling for him. He said that was Dr. Roni. Howard said Al Roker did a show there and he chased him down. He said he's such a nice guy that he went and did his show. He said he had to do his show. Howard said he was friendly with Sandra Bernhard and he'd see her and she'd ask him to do her show. He said he would tell her he'd do it soon but he didn't know where it was. He said he doesn't know where any show is.
Howard said it's weird to be the belle of the ball. He said in high school he was in a car pool where the other kids didn't talk to him or his mother. He said he was an outcast. He said at least now people talk to him. He said he shouldn't complain but after a full day of talking you don't want to talk anymore.
Howard said the older you get the grumpier you get and he's really grumpy. He said it's all fucked up. He said his problem is that people think he's approachable. He said that's the way he's portrayed in the news. Robin said that there was a guy out there in the lobby who said he wanted a picture with her and Howard before they leave. She said she heard that every day.
Howard said he does envy some of the celebrities who are pricks. He said if you ever read that he's one of these unapproachable guys that's fake news. He said he's too approachable.
Howard said when Taylor Swift went up to Sirius she took over the whole floor. He said they didn't even let people use the bathrooms. He said he wishes he could be like that.
Howard said he doesn't have a toxic workplace like they reported in that article. He said that just once he said that he didn't want people standing in front of his door the whole time. He said he'd do the Letterman show and they asked him to walk out the maintenance entrance when Sharon Stone was there. He said they had him walk past the loading dock where the garbage is. He said he walked out that way. He said he's not sure why she was angry with him but she was. He said that she didn't want to see him for whatever reason. Howard said he should have just said no when they asked him to do that. He said that's like the alley where Batman's parents were killed.
Howard said he remembers he was on vacation in Florida and he dropped everything to fly in to do the show. He said even Dave wondered why he did that. He said he had a desperate need to be loved and wanted to be on the show. He said the next thing he knows he's out in the alley where 3 guys are taking a shit. He said it was a little humiliating.
Howard said he wishes he could have attitude like that. He said you read about these shows where the host is a prick and they lost followers because of that attitude. He said he doesn't give a shit about Twitter followers but he should be more aggressive in that department. He said he's too nice. Robin said you don't have to be a prick to say you need space. Howard said you do though. He said people were still outside that door.
Howard said he should have had a camera on him when he walked out in that lobby. He said that he's really noticeable there.
Howard said he has the clip where they called him into the Al Roker show. He said he remember s that day and how it went. Howard played the clip where Al was begging him to come in to do his show ''Off the Rails.''
Howard said he just kept walking but Al is so nice. He said that Al is anything but ''off the rails'' so that show name was so off. He said he was so on the rails and controlled. He said he was like a rare animal at the zoo.
Howard played more of the audio from the show where they were being so nice to him. He said he didn't want to be a dick but he didn't want to be there on that show. He said he just said that they Shanghai'd him so he may have just said a racist thing. Robin said she didn't even hear him say that. Howard said he said to his kids the other day asking what was up with people identifying with ''she/her'' and that led to a whole thing. Howard said he has to figure out what he can and can't say. Gary said he used the term ''Chinese fire drill'' and he wasn't sure if that was wrong. Robin said it is wrong.
Gary said he has a list that Steve Harvey put out for his staff telling them what they can and can't do. He read that list to Howard. Steve wanted no one around him. Howard said this is what Gary should be doing for him. He said he should put out that memo for him. He said that way he doesn't look like the bad guy.
Howard said it turns out that you can't say ''Chinese food'' anymore. He said you have to just call it ''food.'' He said Chinese checkers is just checkers now. He said Chinatown is now just Town. He said Chyna Phillips is just Phillips now.
Howard said there's more to this clip. He played more of the Al Roker segment. Howard said he had an appointment that day and he almost made it out the door. Robin said she saw it all go down. She said Al has never moved so fast. Howard said he's so miserable in the clip when he gets dragged in there. He said he was just funny for 4 hours and he doesn't have any funny left in him. He said he didn't know what was going on in there.
Howard said he used to take a nap in his office and he'd have Ronnie knock on the door in 20 minutes. He said then he gets out there and gets dragged into the show. He said he is a nice guy and that's why he did it. He said he has to jump out a window to get out of that building. Robin asked why he never had his own private entrance. Howard said he would come up the loading dock to avoid everyone. Robin said he should have had his own elevator there. Howard said it's just crazy.
Howard said he knows with him he's just too nice. He said this article came out about him being a prick and he's really not. He said he's not a prick at all. Robin said she's not sure that everyone would say that. She said he can go off once in a while. Howard said everyone is so needy. Robin said that includes him. Howard said that's right. He said he has needs too.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel doesn't have to worry about walking past the Price is Right people. He said Gary fell asleep on the show once and he's still there. He said Al Roker should be a little afraid of him but he's not. He said no one is afraid of him. Howard said Sal got caught jerking off at work and he's still there. He said anything goes there.
Howard said he's a nice guy and he can die and leave this earth knowing that. He said Benjy was late for work 57 times and he's still there. He said he's just too nice a guy. He said that Benjy knows he won't get fired. Robin said there are people there who think he's a prick. Howard said he hopes someone does.
Howard said he just got a note about how Off the Rails is still on the air. He said he had no idea. Robin asked if Al does that show every day. Howard said he has an Instagram post that they just did recently. He said maybe it was a good episode.
Howard said before he got famous no one was looking at him either. He said he was a week away from dating trans. He said they were the only ones treating him like a human too.
Howard asked Randy if what he's saying is that he dates trans people. Randy said he does. He said he has a hermaphrodite friend too. Howard asked if he bangs that person too. Randy said he does. He said they kind of do it doggy style. He said that she has her vagina facing him and it's easy access. Randy said that he has cock and balls and a vagina.
Howard asked Randy if he finds that the vagina is higher up on a trans person than it is on a woman. Randy said it's actually a little lower. Howard asked how that vagina feels. He asked if he has had regular and man made. Randy said he did have one regular one but it was a pregnant girl. Howard said it's still a vagina. He asked Randy if it feels the same. Randy said it does.
Robin asked about the furry community thing and what that's about. Howard asked him what that's about. Randy said that he dresses up like an animal. Howard asked what he dos for a living. Randy said he works in an auto shop. Howard started to get details about his life but he said he has to get out of this. He said he's not sure what he's up to but he wishes him luck. Randy said that they don't have sex in the costumes. He said that would be like having sex with your couch.
Howard asked if he thinks he's homosexual. Randy said he'd say he's pansexual. Howard said the guys are telling him that he enjoys ''fratting'' where they rub penises together until they cum. Randy said that's kind of the way it is. Howard said he calls that a sword fight. He said people would do that as kids. Randy said he enjoys that too. Howard said he has to go. Randy asked if he can get his autograph. Howard said he has to be a nice guy but he's not sure how he could do that. Howard said he will figure out how to do that somehow. He said he'll put him on hold.
Howard read that Randy uses chloroform during sex. Randy said his friend likes to be knocked out during sex so that's what they do. Howard asked what he does after that. Randy said they have fun and then they knock him out and he walks away and leaves him. Howard said he has sex and then chloroforms him. He said he could die from that and he could be charged with murder. Randy said they have a safe thing they have talked about and they go out in the middle of nowhere and that's where it will happen so there are no repercussions from it. Howard said there's still laws out there. He said they can't get away from that. Randy said they have an agreement where they tell people what could happen.
Howard said if they do this and something happens he's going to get in trouble. Randy said that he's asked to be buried in the ground very deeply. He said that's only if he gets killed. He said that he and this guy have a very special bond. Howard said he thinks that what he's saying is that if it happens in the woods it's okay to kill someone. Randy said that or out in international waters. Howard said that's a long way to go for a sword fight. Howard said that's not an accident if you bury someone. He said that he can still get in trouble. Robin said his friends are going to look for him. Randy said he thinks he feeds him a lot of that as bullshit. He said his friend has told him he's done it before.
Howard asked if he dresses as a dragon when he does this. Randy said no and he knows that he's knocking the guy out for just a second or two when he uses that stuff. Howard said that's what the woman who gave John Belushi his final shot of drugs. Howard said that he'd draw the line at doing the chloroform thing. He said he doesn't want him to soil the costume community weight that nonsense.
Howard asked if he can get off on regular sex or does it have to be extreme. Randy said he can get off on PornHub when he's home alone. Howard said it says here that he won't have sex in his costume because he doesn't want jizz on the fur. Howard said if he were Al Roker he'd get this guy on his show. Robin said this guy is ''off the rails'' like the show name says.
Howard said he'd suggest that Randy get away from this activity and not do that chloroform thing. Randy said he will roll play and that's about it. He said he doesn't want to get into that.
Robin asked how old Randy is. Randy said he's 31. Howard said Al Roker has to get him on the show. He said that he could make soup with this guy and then the show would be Off the Rails.
Howard told Randy to be careful out there. Randy said he has had different situations out there himself. He said he has tried things that he's not into. Howard said he's not so odd. Howard let Randy go a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about what the best cover song ever is. Howard said that's hard. He said he loves Aurora doing Life on Mars and he loves Type O Negative doing ''Cinnamon Girl.'' He played some of that cover. He said he asked Neil Young if he had ever heard that and he played it for him and Neil looked like he was going to throw up. He said he loves it though. Howard said the guy who sings this is no longer with us but he was a big dude. He said he loved that guy. He said he was 6'7'' and looked like a body builder. Robin asked what happened to him. Howard said he died. He said he's not sure he wants to give out the wrong information so he won't say what he thinks it was.
Howard said if you go on the app you can see them doing this performance. He said they were all crammed in the studio. He said he thought he was from Germany or something but he wasn't. Beth showed up and Howard had to go to break because something was up.
Howard came back and did a live commercial read. After that he said that he didn't mean to be cryptic but they talked about that cat Destiny yesterday. He said the cat was sick and the owners dropped it at a shelter. He said they took it in and they knew she was dying. He said they didn't want her to die in a shelter. He said they took her in and they called her Dignity because they wanted her to die with dignity. He said she's not doing well and Beth needed him because the cat isn't doing well. Robin said she looked upset. Howard said Beth said it's so difficult. He said he thinks god for what his wife does with animal rescue but it's difficult emotionally. He said the cat doesn't have much time left. He said he's not sure she's going to do well today. Robin said she's glad she had that day where she was playing. Howard said it's so difficult to deal with all of this.
Robin said she has had friends who have had a hard time with losing animals. She said you're devastated when you lose them. She said you have to get every good day you can out of it. He said you have to help them go when it's time for them to go.
Howard said he and Beth have been so involved in it and what Robin describes is the right attitude. He said most people are such shits. He said they don't want the cat anymore and they just get rid of it. Howard said you'd think they'd see it through to the end. Robin said that's your job when you take an animal in. Howard said he's not sure how you do that as a human being. He said you just get rid of the pet.
The caller, Ross, said that you see the boobs in your face and you see the dick coming out of your body. Howard said he's not sure he'd like that. He said he doesn't need to see a dick flying out at him. He said he grew up on magazines and jerked off to bra ads. He said he's so satisfied that he doesn't need any of that stuff. Robin said she's hearing that people are enjoying the virtual stuff more than reality. Howard said he jerks off in 2D, not 3D.
Howard said he once found a nudist magazine in the woods. He said he took it home and loved it. He said he didn't dwell on who had touched it. He said someone ditched it in the bushes and he didn't think about what they had done with it. He said he treated it like it was the Torah. He said he jerked off to that magazine so much. He said that the women were real women too. He said it wasn't Playboy at all. He said it was like jerking off to your mother.
Howard said he doesn't need 3D jerking off. Robin said you can move around and stuff so you're in the video. Howard said he doesn't need any of that. Robin said eventually you'll be able to feel sensation in the virtual reality stuff. Howard said his hand works pretty good so he doesn't need that.
Howard said he thinks that this sex stuff can get you into trouble. He said he was reading about this guy Leon Black who is tainted now because he hung out with Jeffrey Epstein. He said Anthony Weiner could have been president if he wasn't so into this sex stuff. Robin said just look at Andrew Cuomo. Howard said just hook up with one person and stick with that person. He said just get through the tough times and don't start jerking off with 3D. Robin said Jeff Bezos didn't spend time on that. She said he put his energy into other things. Howard said just find a consenting adult and be thankful. He said all of this sex is going to get you in trouble. He said that other guy in Ohio is going to end up getting in trouble.
Robin said you also end up dragging your family through all of that stuff if you get in trouble.
Howard said he thinks that Jason has jerked off to that virtual realty stuff. Jason said he did it just once. He said you need a whole setup to do it and during the pandemic it's not so easy. Howard said he had to wait for his parents and sister to get out of the house to jerk off. He said it wasn't easy. He said it was like the lunar landing to get them out. He said he had to jerk off to TV and it was like a military operation. He said then they'd leave and you'd jerk off and you'd have to get rid of the tissues. He said it was like a cum matrix. He said if he had to throw 3D into that his head would have exploded.
Howard asked Jason what he does and what gear you need. Jason had the stuff there so he showed Howard. He said it's goggles without wires. He said that you can control it in different ways. He said it works pretty well. He said the image is kind of grainy and slow. He said it's close but not great. He said that there is something there so you have this girl next to you and she's whispering in your ear. He said that you can look down and see the cock. He said that you look down and you think you have a bigger cock. He said you can look at the girl in different ways too.
Howard asked Jason what he does when he finishes. Jason said he makes a mess. He said he does this all in a private area so it's not in a common area. Howard asked if he jizzes on himself. Jason said this is better orgasm so there's no controlling it. He said then there's the clean up of shame. Howard asked if you get the load on the goggles. Jason said that this is so weird that he's recreating this in his head. He said after he's done he cleans up down there. Howard asked if he feels like an idiot. Jason said yes. Howard said it's so disgusting. Howard said he heard that Jason would hand over his goggles to show friends when they'd come over. Jason said he would do that. He said it's like any other drug that seems like it's worth it while you're doing it. He said it takes 45 minutes to set up and it's really not worth it. Howard said keep the goggles to yourself. Jason said they're in full use now but not back then.
Howard asked if he's bummed out that he can't jerk off more now that his wife is home. Jason said sometimes it's a bummer. He said that it's been six months since he used it for that.
Howard said he just had a thought. He said he realized that he may never jerk off in 3D. He said he's pretty sure that won't happen in his lifetime. Robin said Howard doesn't want the latest invention in porn. She said this will pass him by and he'll miss out on it. Howard said he'll collect things like Gary and his vinyl. He said he'll have the regular porn.
Howard said he has to go. Ross asked if he can ask a question. Howard told him to get off of his speaker. Ross said he's on a headset. Howard told him to get off of that. Ross said Howard makes fun of Gary for collecting vinyl and he collects pens so it's that kind of hypocritical. Howard was still on the headset thing and said that he wishes people would just call in on a regular phone. Ross said that he was on his EarPods. Howard said Steve Jobs never would have allowed that to come out. He said this new guy Tim Cook is no Steve Jobs.
Howard told Ross that Gary is collecting vinyl and that's much different that what he's doing with his pens. He said one of the way's he keeps himself motivated is getting a great pen and writing with it. He said he's actually using it to create. He said Gary is not creating anything. Robin said Gary is just listening to music. Howard said Gary is just constantly bored and he needs to be entertained. He said Gary needs to be entertained because he's bored. Howard said his pen is his tool to further his creativity. He said Gary isn't doing anything with that vinyl.
Howard said Gary is a consumer. He said that he's not a creator. He said Gary is like an ape. He said he didn't invent fire but he's impressed by fire. He said he just stares at the fire. He said Gary is fascinated by this stuff. He said Gary does a jigsaw puzzle. He said he paints. He said he creates and Gary just rips up a whole picture and puts it back together. He said how about painting a picture instead.
Howard asked Gary how he's doing. Gary said he's good. He said his knees are doing good. Howard said he's sorry he got carried away with that goofing on him. Gary said that they're much meaner when his camera is off. Howard said he and Gary are different guys. He said that he saves animals and Gary eats them. He said he does love Gary though. Gary said it's fine. Robin said Gary makes the world go around. she said he's a consumer and he's part of that engine that runs the world.
Howard said Gary turned 60 and that's freaking him out. Gary said he was only 23 when he met Howard. Howard said Gary will outlive him. He said he's 7 years older than he is. Gary said Howard may live longer than him. Howard said he doesn't think so. Howard said he thinks when his parents bred it didn't create something stronger. He said he doesn't know.
Howard said happy birthday to Gary again and asked Robin not to encourage him to make fun of Gary.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he believes in god. Howard said lets not go there. The caller said he was talking about thanking god earlier. Howard said he knows intellectually we needed to create a man in the sky to keep your hopes up. He said that he thinks somewhere along the lines when we were cavemen we had to create something above us that would get man under control. He said you have to be a good person so they created this thing to make it seem lie there will be consequences. He said it's so sad that people kill each other over religion. He said it's been going on since the beginning of time. He said we have to think we have a bigger purpose. He said he thinks that the whole plan is just to fuck and make more of us so the human race continues. He said we do go on genetically with our kids. He said that we have to keep this thing going.
Howard said he had such religious training as a kid and he was in like what he thought was a cult. He said he has a hard time saying there is no god. He said he has been completely indoctrinated. He said he's afraid to say there is no god. He said if he's up there and this is real then he's not fucking with it. The caller said that makes sense to him now. Howard said he's really blown away by people who are wiling to kill over religion. He said that they're just so sure that they will kill over it.
The caller asked if he can ask another question. He said if someone walks around with a napkin shoved up his ass all day is that a problem. Howard said yes it is. He said he should go to a doctor if he has leakage back there. The caller said that this guy thinks it's not a problem. Howard said he knows that he's talking about himself. The caller said that he isn't though. He said this guy isn't him. Howard said sure it's not. Howard said he should tell his buddy to go to a doctor.
Howard said he wishes he was all in on religion. He said that he just can't do it. Robin said she has friends who are so annoyed by religion and they think they can't get to heaven because they did something dumb at the age of 20. Howard said he ran of out of time to get to Sal and Wendy's stock tips. He said he wants to get to it but he has to get to Eric Andre. He said he has that coming up in a couple of minutes.
Howard said he should probably take a break here. He said that's what he'll do. He said they have time tomorrow to do the stock thing. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and ended up arguing with Robin for a minute about the way she pronounced ''schmendrick'' when they came out of break. Howard said she had it wrong.
Howard said he's a huge fan of Eric Andre. He got him on and said his last season of his TV show was great too. Howard said he looks good. Eric said he has big tits and a jelly belly under that shirt. He said he has a feminine chest. Howard said he does too. He said Eric should be ripped based on the activity he does. He said he must lift and stuff. Eric said he has to. He said he looks like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland if he doesn't work out. Howard asked if his father has tits. Eric said not his dad but his mom does. Howard said his mom has big tits. He said they're like D-cups. Eric said he was breast fed. Howard said he wasn't. He said he forgets how young Eric is. He said his mom was against breast feeding so she shoved a bottle in his mouth. He said he was never breast fed. He said that he asked her why she never did because it raises your IQ like 15 points.
Eric said a boy needs his mom's tit. Howard said his mom says that's her greatest regret. Eric said she also took him to the dentist without Novocaine too. Howard said that's right. He said that was like torture.
Howard said he has a lot to talk to Eric about. He asked how he's doing in quarantine. Eric said it's misery. He said it's like purgatory. Howard said he saw his movie and it's so great. He said he thinks kids are going to go nuts for it. He said he has great pranks and stuff. He said that it would be great if it was coming out in the theaters. Eric said it was supposed to be out in April of last year. He said then the pandemic hit. Howard said he's sure that Netflix pays well but not as well as a theater release. Eric said they had plans for it doing well and then a global pandemic hits. He said thank god Netflix scooped it up. He said they have a lot of subscribers around the world.
Howard asked how much time they put into it. Eric said it's 7 and a half years. Howard said he got the impression that he was working on the movie when he took time off from the TV show. Eric said he did. Howard said he was laughing his ass off at the movie. He said it's insane. He said Eric is really good on his TV show. He said he loves that.
Howard asked if Eric thinks he's insane because he goes for the joke no matter what. Eric said he might be neurotic. Howard asked how he comes up with these ideas like going into a gorilla cage and get raped in the ass in front of people. He asked if he thinks that he's got this need for attention no matter what it takes. Eric said he thinks they wrote that gorilla thing during the Harambe thing. He said that was big news when they started writing the movie. He said that they came up with the idea to have other gorilla to come out and gang bang him. Howard said the movie depends on the people who are outraged. He said the people there at the zoo were outraged. He said he escapes the cage and he says he left his phone in there and had to go back in. He said the next thing you know he's fucking Eric in the mouth. He said if people aren't outraged then it doesn't work. He said they could do that and spend the whole day filming and not end up with anything.
Eric said 90 percent of what the filmed didn't work so they didn't use it. He said they had a prank with Chris Rock playing a cop and he pulls them over and the guy recognized Chris so it didn't work. He said it took like 12 hours to set it up and it didn't work.
Howard said it must be great to get Chris to do a prank but then it doesn't work and it must suck. Eric said you have to get used to disappointment. He said 90 percent of the time it just flops. Howard said Eric knew Chris from working with him in the past. Eric said he did and he came out and did the movie for just about nothing. He said then the whole thing flopped.
Howard asked what zoo lets them pull a prank. Eric said they wanted to do it Atlanta but they didn't want to let them do it. He said they had to drive out about 4 hours from Atlanta to do it at a zoo in Georgia. He said it was great that they let them do it but the place was kind of rough around the edges. He said there were a lot of rats around the place.
Howard asked how Chris dealt with the prank failing. Eric said he was great about it. He said that he went out and did a show with Chris and he had to let him know that he cut him out of the movie. He said that Chris seemed upset that they cut him out of it.
Howard said maybe at the end of the movie they could have shown that in the credits. Eric said they are going to release some of that stuff online.
Howard said he read about this thing that they tried to do. He said they went to a priest and he was possessed and the priest did an exorcism. He said he had it set up so his body would rise up and the guy fell for it. Howard asked why that didn't make it in. Eric said it was probably one of the funniest pranks and they will release it. He said it didn't fit in with the story of the movie. He said it was hard enough to get the gorilla thing in there. Howard said he wouldn't have cared. He said he would have loved to have seen it no matter what. He said he loves that he's worried about the plot of the movie. Eric laughed.
Howard said he thinks that Eric is insane. He said that he's sitting there sipping tea and his house looks normal to him. He said he is crazy though. Eric said he may be cut from the same cloth as Howard. He said when he's alone he's lot a lot of obsessive thought about things that he did wrong. He said you can do everything right and one thing goes wrong and you obsess over that. He said he was a Sarno guy like Howard was. He said he had so much pressure on himself that he had back pain and he started to read the Sarno stuff. He said he had the same kind of thing that Howard had. He said he's not insane like eating food out of a trash can on the side of the highway.
Howard said that there's a prank they did where Eric and his buddy were stuck in a Chinese finger trap and some guy pulls a knife on them. He said it looked like they were in real danger. Eric said they had a safety word if something went wrong. He said the word was Popcorn so he'd yell that out of they were in trouble. He said that they went into this barber shop and this guy went looking for a gun and he found his knife instead and chased them out. He said he was so nervous he forgot his safe word. He said he was yelling ''Goose bumps'' instead of popcorn. He said he eventually yelled it out and got security to come out. He said the guy went from a murderous rage to slapping his knee when he found out what they were up to.
Howard asked if they ever lose out on stuff that was great because people won't sign a release. Eric said that is a problem. He said that they do have it kind of down to a science now though. He said they used to have to blur people's faces out on the TV show a lot.
Eric said that Howard is responsible for the movie. He said that the guy who was working at MGM heard him on Howard's show and thought that he would be great with the Jackass guys. He said that he hooked him up with Jeff Germaine and Howard helped make that connection. Howard said he loves the movie so that's kind of cool that it happened. Howard said every once in a while that happens. He said Amy Schumer was like that. He said they gave her a movie because of her appearance on the show.
Howard said he heard that they would get people to sign a release and have water shoot out of the clipboard. Eric said that would ruin everything. He said they did that in season four of his TV show. He said that it was very short lived though. Howard said he'd watch that if they showed that.
Howard said he likes that they don't dwell on things on the show. He said they move right on. Eric said you don't want any fat so you cut out on the height of the laugh.
Howard asked if he would still do nude pranks if he had a small dick. He said he would never do any of that stuff with his dick. Eric said it can't be that small. Howard said it really is. He said when he's boned up he's okay but when he's not he's small. Howard said he's about 6 inches when he's boned up. Eric said that's alright. He said that he's never measured himself so he's not sure how much he has. Howard said guys with big dicks don't measure. He said it's just guys who are small.
Howard said he heard that Eric is so nuts that he throws himself a birthday party every year and every year is weird. He said he heard he hired nudists to come to his party. Eric said he told them they can't say why they're nude and they're acting like they have clothes on. Howard asked if family and friends come to the party. Eric said it's just comedian friends and people like that. He said it's not really family. He said they had the nudists and they were elderly people. He said he had this old black guy with a huge cock hanging out and he would say ''Oh shit, there's my dad'' when he'd walk around. Eric said they do a lot of wacky stuff at those parties. Howard said he'd be afraid to come on his show because he thinks he has a screw loose.
Howard said people have to know that he's going to fuck with them. Eric said even this season they have a montage of all of the guests reacting to being on the show. He said that it was kind of like Howard's channel 9 show. He said they had no idea what they were doing there and then they were shocked by what they were up to. Howard said they would do that too. He said they just had people read the teleprompter and not tell them what they were doing.
Howard said it must be scary to do that stuff on his show. He said he has so much energy. He said he's 38 and now is the time to do it. Eric said that Sacha Baron Cohen is still doing it and the Jackass guys are still up to what they were up to. He said they still have the energy. He said they seem more brave in their 50s.
Howard asked if he ever gets depressed that he puts out so much risk and energy that he should have more fame. Eric said when you see people you came up with winning Emmys and Oscars and he gets stabbed and doesn't get that. He said that he should get a Cable Ace Award or something at least. Howard said that's why he's bummed that the movie isn't coming out in theaters. Eric said he's so bummed about that. He said they had a whole prank planned for the red carpet and all of this stuff. He said they had so many plans and it was going to happen in April and then a global pandemic happens. Howard said that movie could have made like $150 million. Eric said he's killing him. Howard said this stuff is so funny. He said you know that he'd be done with Adult Swim if that had happened. He said he'd have Hollywood sucking his balls. Eric said he went through everything he's ever done wrong in his life to figure out why this pandemic was shutting his movie release down. He said the only good thing is that it's going to be on Netflix. He said it was nowhere for a while. He said they sold it to Quibby for a while but then Netflix saw it and bought it.
Howard said a film has an age so you have to get it out there. He said it can't sit in a vault for 3 years. Eric said comedy is of the moment so you have to get it out there.
Howard said he loved that he fucked with that psychic kid Tyler. He asked if he really shit in the cup in front of him. Eric said he's not sure what he did there. He said it may have been a sucking noise they did.
Howard said they also do a bit where they fuck with music guests and tase them while they're singing. He said that cant be easy to perform to. He said it's the funniest thing he's ever seen. Howard asked how they get them to do it. Eric said he thinks rappers love the show and they want to be on it. He said that it's very easy to convince rappers to do stuff like that because they want to be comedians. He said comedians want to be rock stars and rock stars want to be comedians.
Howard asked Eric about how he changes his look every season and one season he shaved his head and tried to gain a ton of with. Eric said he tried but he wasn't able to gain the weight he wanted to. He said Christian Bale is insane. He said he goes up and down with his weight like crazy. Howard asked how funny it would be if he came out 60 pounds heavier with a shaved head. He said people would think he was really off the rails. Eric said he'd look like Kojak drowned.
Howard said getting laid at 38 is very important so there's a fine line there. Eric said that's the risk he was willing to take. Howard asked if he was willing to risk not getting women. Eric said you just know it's going to be funny later. He said he doesn't like getting a knife pulled on him or shaving his head but he knows the comedic value to all of that.
Howard said Eric looks great with hair and he's looking good today. He said he could never do something like that. He said he will show his ass as Fartman but he can't imagine shaving his head. He said he was going to do that for a movie once and he backed out of it. Eric wanted to know what movie it was but Howard wasn't going to say what it was.
Howard said another thing he did was not shower for an entire season for the show. Howard said when he did that was he seeing someone. Eric said he was and he also grew out his fingernails really long. He said it was very hard to be intimate with his lady at the time. Howard asked why he did all of that. Eric said he just wanted to reek and he wanted people to think he was a crazy person. He said it was about commitment. He said you have to fully commit when you do prank comedy.
Howard asked how long he didn't shower for. Eric said it was a couple of months. He said he would shower but not use deodorant. He said that he was getting as stinky as he possibly could. Howard asked if he ever smelled his balls. Eric said he does that no matter what. Howard said he does too. He said he's never gone 12 weeks without a shower though. Eric said it is grim. He said his girlfriend was miserable during that whole time. Howard said he doubts that she blew him during that time.
Howard said when he sees him in a cop car and impersonating a cop how does he get away with that. Eric said they learned it the hard way but they found out that if you have a cop with you in the area then you can do the prank thing. He said you have to jump through some hoops to do what they do.
Howard asked what happens when he gets arrested and if he spent time in jail. Eric said he spent time in jail for a night once. He said he pranked the mayor of Rancho Cucamonga once and got arrested. He said he lied about his name to the cop and the cop was trying to find him and he got disturbing the peace and giving false identification. He said he had to spend the night in jail for that.
Howard said Eric did a bit where he came crawling out of the water with cement shoes on. He said that was just wild.
Howard said when he was putting together the movie Sacha Baron Cohen asked him to show him the movie to help him out. Eric said they sat in his office and watched it and he gave them some advice. He said he was a total mench. Howard asked what his spin was on it. Eric said he must have been charmed by his show or by him or something. He said he gave really good feedback. Robin said that guy is the master so he must have been nervous. Eric said he just sat there quietly to every word he said.
Howard asked Eric about going to a bar or something and pulls a prank he must be nervous about what the reaction is going to be. Eric said it can be scary at times.
Howard asked if his parents are still around. Eric said they are. He said that they've been divorced for a long time but they're still friends. He said they had a quiet divorce and they have remained friends since. He said it could have been a lot worse.
Howard asked if his dad gets what he does. Eric said his dad is from Haiti and he was born in 1946. He said his idea of comedy isn't the same as his. He said that's like what Howard's dad might have thought of Fartman. Howard said he thinks this dad was happy that he was able to make a living. He said he was supportive.
Howard asked Eric why he didn't stick with music since he was into that. Eric said there's not a lot of money in stand up bass playing.
Howard asked if growing up black was tough for him. Eric said there was a lot of racism down in Florida. He said kids would throw rocks at his head in high school and things like that. Howard asked if his parents had problems too. Eric said his parents were kind of oblivious. He said they don't really pay attention. Howard asked if the grandparents on his mother's side were freaked out that she married a black man. Eric said not really. He said they were very progressive.
Howard asked why they would move to Florida knowing about what happens there. Eric said it was all about temperature. He said his dad hated the cold of New York. He said he found out that Boca Raton was nice so they moved down there. He said that everything was racist down there.
Howard asked if he got any girls down there in Florida. Eric said he had a girlfriend for like 2 weeks every year for a while. He said it wasn't easy for him.
Howard asked if he could go to his father and ask him why he moved to Florida and what he was thinking. Eric said he thinks that he was kind of oblivious himself. He said he didn't know there could be something different out there. He said he was hearing the N-word around school all day and he didn't know if that was normal. He said there was a lot of casual racism there too. He said they'd say the N-word all the time and they hated Haitians too. He said they'd talk about coming over with a bone in their nose on a banana leaf. Howard said it's like what's happening with the Asians now.
Eric said he didn't have the clarity to know to ask to move back to New York. He said that his dad had PTSD from moving from Haiti. He said that he was a home body too. Howard asked if his dad was a psychiatrist. He said he was and he didn't really try to work on him. He said he was constantly defending all four quadrants of his race in school.
Howard asked Eric if the kids he grew up with try to be his friend and he has to tell them to fuck off. Eric said he can't be that mean but there are some people who were shitty to him and they come to him trying to hang out. He said one guy killed someone with a crowbar and he wants to hang.
Howard said he likes that he was the Geico Caveman and he was going out and doing gigs. Eric said it was a great gig and he just had to put on that makeup and bounce around to sell insurance.
Howard asked Eric about doing stand up and how much money he was making. Eric said he'd make like 15 bucks at Caroline's and he was thrilled.
Howard said he loves the things that he's done on the show. He said he read that he dated Rosario Dawson and he thought maybe it was another prank. He said it was a real thing though. Eric said he finally had bragging rights. Howard said he thought it was a stunt. He said it was real though. He said he had an actress in his bedroom. Eric said people would come up to them and utter the same sentiment. Eric said that he had a woman come up to him and she said ''Beauty and the beast'' right to his face. Howard said he had people come up to him and see Beth and say ''I don't get it...'' He said that they were shocked that Beth was with him. He said that he's famous so of course he can get someone like that. Howard said it's so insulting when people say that. Howard asked if he cracked under the pressure. Eric said not at all.
Howard asked if it was tough to date someone famous. Eric said every relationship can be tough.
Howard asked Eric about what his work routine is like. He said it must be confusing when he comes up with material. Eric said he has a few show ideas he's developing. He said he's always writing. Howard asked if he writes it down or on the computer. Eric said it's mostly on the computer. He said it depends on what he's working on. He said it depends on who he's writing with too.
Howard asked if he's difficult to be around with a woman. Eric said that he's getting better. He said he's finding that balance with the work and life thing. Howard said they want to know who's fucking him and living with him. Eric laughed. He said she's 10 feet away from him asleep right now. Howard asked how he met this woman. Eric said he met her at a farmer's market. Howard said he's able to do that huh? He said he's able to walk up to her at a market and ask her questions. Howard said he'd be too shy to do that. Eric said it wasn't a one off. He said he'd see here there often. He said he would chat her up more and more. He said people would ask him for his autograph and that may have gotten her to notice. Howard said that's very romantic. He asked what he said to her when she asked about that. Eric said it was more about her asking if he was famous and what was going on there. Eric said she had no idea who the fuck he was when they met. He said she had no clue at all. He said she reminds him of that often.
Howard asked if she likes his show. Eric said she does. He said he thinks that she's biased now. He said she's charmed by it.
Eric said that he wants to know what scene Beth walked out on in his movie. Howard said his wife likes to see people hurting themselves. He said it's really weird. He said he told her she has to see this movie and he can't get her to watch it. He said she bails on him. He said that he has to turn it off if she comes in the room. Eric said he's crushed over that. He said he does the show for her as much as Howard. He asked Howard to ask Beth to give him a second chance.
Howard asked if he has more men than women watching his show. Eric said there are more and more women coming to his shows. He said it is mostly men. Howard said his wife doesn't even like his show. He said that she would rather not listen.
Howard said he tries stuff out on Beth. He said the other night he played a phony phone call the guys made and he played it for her and she walked out saying it wasn't her thing.
Howard asked Eric if he's got anything planned for this girlfriend. Eric said tonight he's going to get her pregnant. He said he's going to prank himself and get stuck with a kid for 18 years starting tonight. Howard asked if he feels pressured to get married. Eric said sometimes he does. He said that marriage is a celebration of your love with friends. Howard asked why he's looking over his shoulder and whispering. Eric laughed. He said kids is the big decision. He said his dad didn't really pay a lot of attention to his kids. He said he wouldn't want to do that to his kids. He said he would like to be able to prioritize kids. He said that's really hard to do right now. He said he's trying to make a name for himself. He said it's a big responsibility. Robin said he's over thinking it. Howard said he wishes everyone was thinking it through on that level.
Howard said Eric was planning a birthday party that was going to be a Bukakke birthday party and is he going to have it after the pandemic is over. Eric explained what Bukakke is and that he had just used that word in his invitation because it's a beautiful word.
Howard said he's a fan of Eric Andre and he watches his show all the time. He said he thinks the show is designed for weed smokers. He said he knows people who get high and watch it. He said he would recommend watching the show. He it's a brilliant show and he hopes he does more of it. He said he's kind of glad that his movie isn't being released theatrically and he's being kept humble and he'll keep doing the show. He said that it's great that they can just watch the movie ''Bad Trip'' on Netflix this Friday. Eric said that Lil Rel Howrey is in it and Tiffany Haddish is too.
Howard asked if they're doing a premiere or anything for this movie. Eric said they do a virtual premiere on Zoom. He said he would have preferred a red carpet in Austin but he'll take it. He wondered if this pandemic is ever going to end. Howard said he doesn't know but people are such selfish pricks they won't mask up. He said we can beat this fucker if we just mask up.
Howard said he heard Eric was drinking a lot during the pandemic. Eric said he was drinking every night in the beginning. He said he was so depressed about the premiere going away and the movie not being in theaters and all of that. He said the night his movie was supposed to come out someone he knows thought they got cancer and it was a dark time for him. He said drinking helped. He said it was a lot of vodka. He said he and his girlfriend were drinking. He said she didn't want to drink so much. He said he built a bar in his living room. He showed it to Howard. Howard said that bar is huge. Eric said he got really good at making cocktails. He said he didn't want to make sourdough bread like everyone else was doing.
Howard asked what kind of cocktails he was making. Eric named a few of the things he was making and said they were like ''Karen'' kind of cocktails. Howard said it looks like he likes Rum. Eric said he does. He said that he's like a pirate.
Howard said that stuff can pack on the pounds. Eric said he was like Pamela Anderson early on in the pandemic. Howard asked where he's at now with alcohol. Eric said he saw a picture of himself with his shirt off around his girlfriend's birthday and he realized he has to stop. He said he has to lose some weight. He said he was about to lose it around the time the quarantine hit. He said he started drinking around that time so he packed on the pounds.
Howard asked if he's a weed guy. Eric said not really. He said he knows guys who can smoke 40 joins. He said that he can smoke a little before bed to get some sleep. He said he can't smoke at a party. He said he gets too paranoid. He said he's more of a crystal Meth guy.
Howard said now he can celebrate that he's on Netflix. He said he doesn't have to be too depressed now. Howard said at least he knows everyone will see the glory of him blowing a gorilla. Howard gave him some plugs for the movie that's coming out on Friday on Netflix. Howard wrapped up and let Eric go a short time later.
Howard said he liked Candid Camera and his mother would walk in and ask what he was watching. He did his impression of his mother talking about what a waste of time all of that is. He had her going on and on about Alan Funt wasting people's time with that show.
Howard said it just sucked the life out of him when she would do that. He said that his whole life has been one big torture. He said that it's one big monolog. He said he just wants one corner of his room to stack his MAD magazines. He had his mother complaining about how they were just collecting dust in there.
Howard said his mother once bought a spoon that was made in Germany and she saw it in the middle of scooping ice cream. He said she threw it right in the garbage in the middle of scooping. He said he had to forget about that ice cream.
Howard said after all of that his father would come home and the real fireworks started. He did his impression of his dad yelling at him over various things.
Howard said his father had a record company that didn't do well and he'd bring that up and his father would freak out. Robin said it's amazing that Howard talks at all after everything he's been through.
Howard said his father would berate him over everything and it's shocking that he actually got into the radio business. He said psychiatrists think it's not a shock that he went into radio because his father was in it.
Howard said everything is a nightmare. He took a call from a guy who said he has heard his stories of his upbringing and he wonders how he didn't end up a serial killer or a serial rapist or something. Howard said he had to show his father that he was wrong about him. He said he could have been a great serial killer. He said that would have proved his father right though.
Howard did more of his father's voice and had him talking about his son being a serial killer as if he had gone in that direction in life. He had him saying that he wasn't even a good serial killer.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was another stellar interview. He said he can't wait to see the movie. Howard said it's great. The caller said it's a bummer that the pandemic took the premiere and all of that away from him. Howard said it's probably for the best. He said you'll love the movie though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a great interview and he sounds like a real pro like Seth Rogen. Howard said Eric seems like a good dude. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:50am.
Howard started the show talking about today's Stump the Booey with Jon Hein and Baba Booey. He said he's going to bet on Gary. He said he thinks Gary will be better at it than Jon will. Robin said they've never seen Jon in a game like that. Howard said no they haven't. He said some people have come up to him privately and said they love the part of the show where he beats up on Gary. He said that's terrible because he feels bad about it but it's just so easy to do. He said he walked around feeling guilty about comparing Gary to early man. He said even Robin thought it was too much but giggled at it. He said you can't have it both ways. He said that encourages him.
Howard said everything about Gary annoys him. Gary said they talked about that on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. He said Howard has said that just the sight of him annoys him at times.
Howard said they had to take Gary off the Zoom call to talk about Stump the Booey and they were talking about how much free time he has. Will said they were talking about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Howard said Gary and Jon both vote for the inductees and Gary researches all of the inductees. He said someone said he has endless free time.
Howard said he got the ballot for the hall of fame and it's really gorgeous. He said they have all of the bands listed in there. He said he didn't want to vote but he changed his mind. He said he's going crazy thinking that he can vote in 2 seconds. He said he wasn't able to find the ballot. He said now he's yelling at everyone trying to find the ballot. He said now it's taking him time and he doesn't have the time.
Howard said he realized the magazine that they send you has the ballot on the back page. He said you have to shove it into the envelope and it's thick paper so it's not that easy. He said it's stupid. He said the envelope has to be sealed with tape because that's a piece of magazine. He said it was just weird. He said it took more time.
Howard said Gary really does annoy him. He said he's busy doing puzzles and things like that. He said Gary was talking to his wife and he wants to be buried and Mary wants to be cremated. He said that goes on in his house too. He said Beth wants to be cremated too. He said he wants to be in a mausoleum. He said he knows that doctors are going to fuck up and put him in the ground when he's alive. He said he read this year that they made an error. Robin said they find you before they bury you. Howard said they were in the morgue. He said he's not forcing anyone to do what he says but maybe he should. He said Robin should be buried above ground.
Howard said Gary found an article about Lemmy from Motorhead being cremated and having his ashes sent to his friends with his ashes in bullets. He said that's the weird stuff people do. He said Gary wanted to have his ashes pressed into vinyl. He said Gary loves vinyl but no one in his family does. He said that he could put his audio book on that record. Howard said Mary doesn't love vinyl so why would he press himself into an album. He said his son could use it in his DJ business.
Howard said they were talking about a new sponsor this morning before the show. He said it's the latest take on a bean bag chair. He said it's called Moon Pod. He said Gary heard it and he told him that he loves it and Mary had to pull him out of it because he was wedged in it. He said he was thinking about Gary relaxing at home in that thing. He said he doesn't know why Gary would be in that thing. Gary said they sent him one to try out. Howard wondered why they sent it to Gary. He said that he doesn't want anything being sent to him for free. He said Gary must have a house full of sponsor stuff. He said that got him ticked off.
Howard said the other thing that got him ticked off was that Yucko the Clown who isn't a clown anymore, is doing cartoons. He said he's smart and he got Gary to record one line for the cartoon (Paradise PD). He said Gary grabbed the job and there's no end to it. He said Gary has one line in it and now he's on the poster for the show. He said he's just using Gary to get a plug on the show. Gary said it's a 15 episode show and he has one line in one show and he's on the poster. He said they went to his agent and asked him to do it. He said that if he had more than one line he probably would have said no way.
Howard said Gary cleared his voice just once but it was a lot more than that. He said that if he did clear his voice and did it in a noticeable way he'd be fine with it. He said he just does these little things. He said he has some audio of it. Howard played a clip of Gary reading his line ''What the hell are you doing with my wife?'' and he did the throat clearing thing a few times.
Howard said he counted at least 5 throat clearings. Fred said it was 7. Howard said he's not sure if they hear him clearing his throat. He said they said he didn't clear it. Howard said Gary is like a phlegmy Mel Blanc.
Howard asked Gary what's up with that. Gary said he doesn't have an answer. He said he went to the doctor and he said there's nothing wrong. He said it might be more of a tick than anything.
Howard said when he was younger he was coughing and his mother asked what was going on. He said she told him to just stop it. He said she cured him of that by just telling him to stop.
Howard said he had a friend who used to make noises and he started copying it. He said his mother went off on him about doing it and she got him to stop. He said if she told him to stop something he did it. He said he didn't want to hear about it. Gary said it sounds like he was raised in an orphanage in the 30s. He said he loves when he tells people to ''just stop.'' Howard dsaid it's enough. He said that should be enough to say no to yourself. He said have some pride. Robin said Howard has his ticks that he can't get rid of. Howard said he can't say no to things and those are legitimate. Robin laughed. Howard said that's why he doesn't drink. Robin said he never told her about his counting and stuff. Howard said she would have taken that right away from him.
Howard was doing his impression of his mother and father talking about his problems. Howard had his mother talking about her problems growing up and how she never had a problem with OCD. Howard said that's why he didn't tell her he had a problem.
Howard said he didn't have OCD as a kid. He said he developed it in college. He said it may have had to do with taking acid. He said this isn't about him though.
Howard said this guy he knew who had the ticks looked cool to him. Robin said he didn't know any better than making those facial expressions. He said that he started doing it.
Howard said he gets ticked off at Gary about a lot of things. He said he gets ticked off at the ashes in the vinyl thing and stuff like that. Gary said he was joking about that when he sent it in the internal messaging system. Howard said he got annoyed about Gary researching the band for the hall of fame. He said he's sure Gary spent a whole day researching it. He asked why he has to do that.
Gary asked if he wants to hear what really happened. Howard asked what it was. Gary said he just goes on Spotify to hear the bands. He said he's just reminding himself of the songs they did. Howard asked if he spent 3 hours researching. Gary said he can't say that. Fred did his Gary voice and got into how deep Gary could have gotten.
Gary said he's not doing this stuff in the middle of the day. Howard said he thinks he is. He said he hears way too much nonsense going on. Gary said the Yucko thing was as long as that clip he played. Howard asked why it was 100 takes. Gary said they were asking him to try it different ways. Howard said that's like saying he's such a bad actor that they can piece it together. He said two times would have been enough. Robin said it sounds like they didn't know what they wanted. Gary said he thinks they did it so they could talk about it here. Fred did his impression of Gary reading his lines for Yucko.
Howard said Gary is working from home now so he can't keep an eye on him. He said he's like Ralph and there's not a show he hasn't watched. Robin asked if this was a tribute to great organization or was he just goofing off and watching TV all the time. Gary said he's not sure what the question is. Robin asked if he has all this time to do all of these things. Gary said he doesn't have a lot of time. He said this didn't take all day. He said it's when he's working out that he does a lot of this.
Howard said he gets annoyed just hearing that he works out. He said Beth had to ask him to stop with the Gary thing. He said he told her how annoying Gary is. He said he asked Gary to writ him a note when they have a guest on so he can send a thank you in a note or on the phone. He said he figured that Gary was doing it during the interview. He said he told Beth about what Gary was doing and sending him an email in the middle of the interview and Beth didn't get why it was annoying. He said Gary was annoying him by doing his job. He said he figured he had a button that he set up to get it out. He said poor Gary.
Howard said he pictures Gary in his Moon Pod and then he gets out of that and hits the button to ask if he wants the guest's phone number. He said he gets annoyed. He said then he hears him doing the Yucko voice over thing and gets annoyed.
Howard took a call from Yucko (Roger Black) and told him that Gary doesn't know any better and doesn't know how to say no. Yucko said that they didn't hear the throat clearing like Howard did. Howard said everyone knows what they're doing by getting Gary and Ronnie to record stuff for the show. Yucko said they try to get Howard but they know they can't get him. He said they go down the ladder. Howard said then they're promoting the show with Gary's cartoon face. He said Gary thinks it's great. Howard said he sees it and thinks it's smart that Yucko does this to get attention for the show. Howard asked what the show is called. Yucko said it's called Paradise PD. He said they're on season 3 now. He said maybe Gary will get them to season 4. Howard asked if they used Gary's line. Yucko said they used it in episode 12. Howard said congratulations on the show. Yucko laughed and said thanks. Howard said Yucko has been calling for the last 4 days trying to get on to mention that Gary is in it. He said he knows Gary will do anything. He said Gary is busy doing his family tree so he has time. Gary said he's kind of done with that now.
Howard said if they can't get Gary they will get High Pitch Erik. Yucko said just throw out the line. Howard congratulated him again on the show. Yucko thanked them for everything. Howard said Gary gets picked on for everything but he didn't do anything wrong. He said it's not just Gary who annoys him. He said everyone does. He said he can't think of anyone other than Gary right now though. He said Richard took 3 months Paternity leave so that annoyed him but not even that much. Gary said that's not true. Howard said JD annoys him with that baseball card thing. He said he wants him to save money. He said just invest that money and you'll have it in 20 years when you need it. He said you'll be thankful that you saved some money. He said JD would rather just say fuck that and spend that money on card breaks.
Howard said he does love Gary. He said he's his guy. He said Gary has been with him for how long. Gary said it's like 37 years. Robin said they've all been together and maybe too long. Howard said he's counting his clearing of the throats in his voice over. Gary said he needs to send Howard some paints or something to keep his mind off of him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Gary sounds like Beavis when he clears his throat. Howard said it's not even a full throat clearing. He asked what's going on. Gary said he doesn't know what to say. He said he may have developed that because of what Howard has said about it. He said he feels like there's something in there and maybe Howard won't hear it if he does it that way.
Howard said you should hear the song in his head. He played a song parody where they had Gary's throat clearing to the tune of a Led Zeppelin song.
Howard said he was lecturing JD for telling him that he's investing in Crypto. JD said he listens to some people. He said he has a 401K too. Howard said he has to listen to him. He said yeas ago he put aside some money for a college fund. He said he did this for a relative's kid. He said they put that aside and it wasn't a shit load of money. He said he forgot about it and now it's 20 years later and the kid is going to college. He said they looked at the money and it was plenty to pay for the first year of college. He said what he's saying to JD is that he should invest in the long term and not the Crypto for the short term.
Robin said the head of the national bank said that Crypto is highly speculative. Robin asked what JD thinks he's going to do with it. JD said he's listening to people who are much smarter than him about that. Howard asked who the smart person is that he's listening to. JD said it's someone who is smarter than him. Howard said he knows it's someone who works there and is kind of a nudnick. Howard asked who has made the most money on the show. JD said Howard is. Howard asked why he won't listen to him. JD said he's not ignoring him. Howard said he should be saving money. He said that should be his hobby now.
Howard asked if JD knows what Crypto is. JD said it's a currency. He said he really doesn't know that much about it. Howard said he just gets annoyed with him too. He said Gary isn't the only one. Gary said he's not the only one on the staff who has weird hobbies. He said that he loves Jason but he built some 5000 piece Lego Star Wars thing. He said it seems to take a long time to do that. He asked why that doesn't annoy him. Howard said he knows that Jason is up to stuff like masturbating with goggles and stuff but maybe he plays the game better than Gary. He said he has the feeling that Jason is working his ass off. He said he hears that stuff and it doesn't bother him. He said Jason is working and maybe playing the game better than Gary. Gary said Jason has a smoker and he spends a lot of time smoking and marinating. Howard said not anymore he isn't.
Howard asked Jason how much weight he's lost. Jason said over 30 pounds as of yesterday. Howard said he's not annoyed with Jason. He said he gets annoyed with Sal. He can't figure out how Sal is funny. He said here's what he knows about Sal. He said Sal has been bird watching and he sees a lot of cardinals around his house. He said when he sees them he sees it as a sign. Gary stared talking and his microphone was open so Howard got annoyed with that. Jason said he's verbally texting. Gary said his microphone was on ''off'' so that was really weird. Sal said his brain was off.
Howard said Sal was recently meditating and he asked for the universe to send more cardinals to him. He said he envisioned them on his window ledge and then the next day they were there. Robin sad that's really unusual right? She said have a whale show up there and that's unusual. Howard said Sal thinks that the universe sent that cardinal there. Howard said why not ask for something like a balloon. He said that might be more of a sign. Howard said how about a bean stalk. He said that would be a miracle. He said Sal is like a slow Snow White. He said he's surrounded by a magical garden. Sal said it's nice.
Howard said Sal no longer wants to go to Africa to talk to the animals. Robin asked what he wanted to say to them there. Sal said he wanted to talk to an elephant. He said he feels like he can communicate with everything and anything. Robin said anything but humans. Howard asked when he last communicated with a tree. Sal said it's been a while. He said he does thank trees for providing so much to us. Howard asked if he's doing Transcendental Meditation. Sal said no. He said he's just doing straight up meditation. Howard said that's not what meditation is. He said he likes that Sal created his own meditation. Sal said he knows what it is. He said it's just being one and releasing all of your thoughts. Howard said that's not what it is. Sal said he thinks it is. Howard said Sal thinks his mission is to validate the importance of the universe. Sal said it's all about everything around us that makes us all one. He said yesterday he was outside and started singing that song ''Close to me'' and he swears that 4 red cardinals flew over his head and landed in a tree. He said this isn't coincidence. He said if you open your mind you'll see that.
Howard said Sal has a tremendous father hunger. He said he's looking for signs like his father did with numbers. He said he's trying to connect with his father with this stuff. He said it has nothing to do with anything other than that. He said he's not going to take up the show being his shrink but that's what this is. He said he's looking for daddy and he has to get in touch with that. He said he's going to get locked up for this stuff. Robin said he's talking to anything inanimate. Howard said he's like a dopey Snow White. He said she's singing to everyone and living in a fantasy world. He said Sal talked about his dad betting on the lottery with the numbers he saw. He said this is the same kind of thing. He said he's looking for signs. Sal said it's helping him connect to the universe. Howard said he's not thinking now. He said he has a low IQ. He said they know that. He said that he's pretty sure that he has a higher IQ. He said he has to stop this. He said everyone knows this is the universe. He said there's nothing profound going on in his head. He said everyone knows all of this stuff is here. He said they print that the universe is all one. He said he's not Einstein. He said he's walking around thinking he discovered something and he didn't.
Robin said the problem is that he thinks that the universe is responding to him. She said that he thinks he's making birds appear. Sal said some crazy stuff happens to him. Howard said he's sure it does.
Howard said it's the 15th anniversary of Sal getting caught masturbating at work. He said he thought that was important to mention. He said they were there at work for just 2 months and Sal had his own office. He said that he was masturbating to the old lady porn. He said they're all dead now. Sal said now he can communicate with them. Howard said he has the cardinal who was flying around Sal on the phone. He took a call from the cardinal who said they just fuck with Sal all the time by flying over him. Howard said Sal is an idiot, right? The cardinal said they all laugh at him in his back yard. He said they spent the winter up here instead of flying south. He said they did that just to fuck with Sal. The cardinal yelled at someone because he's busy building a nest over there.
Howard asked if Sal says the universe is one to him. The cardinal said he says a lot of ridiculous things. Howard asked the cardinal if a tree has ever said hi to him. The cardinal said he's never heard from a tree. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said Gary thinks he just picks on him but he picks on everyone. Howard played a song parody about Sal after that. Howard said he has his own song about how silly he is. He said James Cargill did that one.
Howard said there are a lot of things that Sal says. He said the ledge that Sal saw the bird on has importance to him. Sal said it's the same one where the squirrel was. He said the squirrel was there and turned to him and looked him in the eye. He said the cardinals are considered angelic symbols. Howard asked why that is. Sal said they symbolize angels. He said that when you're meditating and speaking to people who have passed on they will send you a red cardinal as a sign. He said that's how you know they're there. He said they had never landed there before he asked for that validation. He said that his guardian angels are listening to him and they're using the red cardinals to communicate with him.
Howard said Sal is no nuttier than those people on TV who make this stuff up. Sal said those people are using people to make money. Howard asked if he confides in his wife with these thoughts. Sal said no. He said there's no need. He said it's like when Howard played that prank call for his wife and she wasn't into it. Howard asked if he has tried to talk to her about this stuff. Sal said he has. He said she's not that interested. Sal said she's not into it as deeply as he is. Howard asked if anyone in his life is into it. Sal said he's home during this pandemic so he hasn't had a chance to talk to many others. He said people do email him who do believe in this stuff. He said that Ralph somewhat believes in it. Howard said Ralph's another one. Sal said that he got a lot of dimes and he called him after the show and they talked about the afterlife and the significance of the dimes. Howard said Ralph is very lonely.
Sal said Ralph has said he has had visions too. Howard asked what he was on. Sal laughed. He said Ralph told him he had visions. He said it would blow everyone's mind if he told the stories. Sal said he wants those visions. He said he thinks that Ralph saw Jesus. He said he should get him on to talk about that. He said he has these mind blowing things going on. He said Ralph would back him up on this stuff. Howard said Ralph has to be goofing on Sal. Sal said no way he is. Howard said Chris told him that Ralph calls Sal a big dummy so he can't believe this is going on.
Howard asked why he thinks that ledge is so magical to him. Sal said it's not just him. He said it could be anyone there if you just allow yourself. Robin said one day after she moved to her house she looked out her back window and the yard was filled with Robins. She said a couple of weeks later she got a newsletter from the community saying the Robins were back. She said it happens every year if she's there or not.
Howard said Sal says he experiences euphoria when he has the birds on his ledge. Sal said he does. He said when the birds are there he gets a sense of euphoria that makes him feel like he knows what the afterlife is like.
Howard said Sal's wife is on the phone. He took the call from the fake wife who was saying this is embarrassing and he has to go find a ledge and jump off.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said when that dime thing came up on the air he did call him about it. He said he had a time when he found a lot of dimes and they talked about that. He said he was fascinated with Sal when he talked about that stuff. He said he became this different person and it's like he was replaced with someone. He said he goes on and on about these things and it's insane. Howard said he thinks Ralph is into it too though. Ralph laughed when he said he's not seeking his advice. He said he believes in horoscopes and stuff. Howard asked if he had a vision of Jesus or something. Ralph said he told him when he was a kid he had a dream about Jesus and he told Sal that. He said that he was joking but Sal took it seriously. Howard said Sal is jealous of him for having visions. Ralph said yeah, Jesus came to see him. Sal said this will help people open up their minds. Sal said there's nothing to be ashamed of. Ralph said Sal used to be like Larry Flynt and now he's like Mother Teresa.
Howard said as soon as Sal gets out of the house he'll be back in the massage parlors. Sal said no way. He said this is a change in his attitude and being. He said this isn't a religion thing. He said he's just seeing the universe differently.
Howard said Sal used to have a regular lunch at Rick's Cabaret. He said that's the Sal he knows. He said that's enough of this. Ralph said he made a top 3 things that annoy him about Gary taking that Yucko gig. He said number 3 is Gary doesn't need the money. He asked how much they paid him. He said the other thing is that he's taking a job from a voice actor. He said number 1 is that he has an agent. Howard thanked Ralph for that.
Howard said he gets annoyed that Yucko wants a mention on the show so they give him one fucking line in the show. He said that no one gets that it's to get a plug. He said Yucko knows that it'll get a lot of mentions. He said that's what annoys him. Ralph said they should have paid Gary 20 grand to do the one line based on the amount of time they're getting on the show.
Howard said imagine you're at a party and you tell someone that your job is being Gary Dell'Abate's agent. He asked how often your phone rings. Sal said ''What phone?'' He can't afford a phone.
Howard thanked Ralph for calling in and riling him up. He said Sal is pretty annoying too. Robin said she's sitting there thinking about Sal and how he's getting into this whole thing. She asked if they think that in the future he could become completely delusional. Sal said they might be there already. Howard said he thinks they are too.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how stupid Sal is. He said he's looking for signs just like his dad and Howard nailed that on the head. He said Sal is dopey just like Snow White.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he doesn't want to pick on Sal but there is a way to use logic and reason to figure things out. He said evidence has to rise with claims and that's how they can figure this out. Howard said Sal is living in the dark ages. He said he's trying to make sense out of this stuff. He said Sal isn't alone. He said there are about 75 million other people who voted against science. Sal said he's all for science.
Howard took a call from Gary's agent who turned out to be Beetlejuice clips. The guys were playing clips of Beetlejuice rambling nonsense.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what kind of drugs Sal is on. Howard said none and that's the scary part.
Howard said they have this magazine that has each page devoted to each artist. Howard said he had to pick 5 out of all of these people to vote for. He said you feel so stupid voting. He said it's just so dumb. He said all of these people are super talented. He said there shouldn't be a hall of fame.
Howard said that he was watching American Idol last night and they're having a marvelous season. He said they have people passing out and Kellyanne Conway's daughter on the show. Robin said she feels bad for her. She said she's stuck in that house with those people. Howard said she seems like a sweet kid. He said she took the news about going home well.
Howard said this rock and roll hall of fame thing is a waste of time. He said Mary J Blige and Kate Bush are on the list. He said he doesn't know them that well and doesn't listen to their stuff. He said he's sure they're talented though. He said Devo was on the list. He said they're talented too. He said Foo Fighters are on the list. He said they have to get in. He said he has to vote for them. He said he's a huge fan. He said that was a no brainer. He said then he saw the Go-Gos. He said he had them on the potential list.
Howard said Iron Maiden was on the list and he doesn't know much about them. He said that Jon Hein is going to vote for them if he wins today. He asked if he can even name 3 of their songs. He said he didn't think Jon was into Iron Maiden. Robin said he's a contrarian. Jon said he had them on the list of bands he's trying to decide on. He said he knows their song ''Run from the Hills'' and he likes their mascot. Howard said he has no reason to be voting. He asked what his claim is. Jon said they group people who love music into this and he has some expertise. He said he did the Jump the Shark site with music and he has done some other things. Robin said his qualifications are that he has ears. Jon said he's not saying that other people aren't qualified. He said they asked him and he didn't turn it down.
Howard had more of the list of bands. He said Jay Z was on the list and he said he didn't know much of his music. Howard said he doesn't know if he should be in there. Howard said he put him aside. He said Chaka Khan he knows. He said she's good. He said Carole King was on the list and he thinks she should be in the hall of fame. He said she had hit after hit. Jon said she's already in but not as a solo act. Howard said she should be in as a solo act.
Howard said he saw someone whose name he didn't recognize. Robin said she saw a show in London about that guy. Howard said he had no idea who he was. He said that has to be a guy that Tom Morello would know about.
Howard said then LL Cool J was on the list. He said he's cool too. He said he doesn't' know much about him but he was a big deal to a lot of rap guys. He said NY Dolls were on the list. He didn't know their shit. He said Rage Against the Machine is on the list so they have to be in. He said Todd Rundgren is on the list and he was thinking about how he hasn't written a lot of songs. Gary said he produces too. He said he has done a lot with producing.
Howard said he saw Tina Turner on the list. He said he was shocked that she wasn't in already. He said he had to put her in the top 5. Jon said she is already in with Ike and Tina Turner. Howard said she's way better solo than with Ike.
Howard said Dionne Warwick was the last name. He said he's not voting for her but she deserves to be in there. He said he had his list and he voted in The Go-Gos, Carole King, Rage Against The Machine, Foo Fighters and Tina Turner. He said that's it. He said there's no other option. Jon said he has options. He said Jay Z isn't his genre but he has to respect that. He said he had a lot of Howard's options in there.
Howard said he has to take a break and then get to Gary and Jon playing Stump the Booey. He said whoever wins gets to take the other person's ballot and vote the way they want. Howard said what he'll do is take a break and get to the game. He said for some reason people care about the outcome of this thing. He said he thinks Gary will beat Jon. Robin said she's voting for Gary too. Howard said he's not saying Jon doesn't know music but Gary's knowledge is exceptional. Jon said he knows his songs and he knows his stuff. He said he wasn't able to prepare for this. He said he's just there to take a shot. He said he will be pissed if he loses though. He said he doesn't want to lose his vote.
Gary said he studied for the game and had Mary playing songs on Spotify and he'd have to guess what they were. He said they're tough from the 80s because a lot of songs start off with the same kind of guitar or drum beat.
Howard said 2/3 of the staff polled think that Gary is going to lose. He said he thinks JD and Benjy are backing Jon. JD said he is but he shouldn't be throwing his money around so he may not. Sal said he'll take a bet with Robin. He said how about $25. Robin said alright. Robin asked if he's taking Jon. Sal said he is. He said he thinks Gary is frazzled from today's show. He said his brain isn't in the zone. Gary said he wants to win more now that Sal has said that.
Howard said he thinks that he proved that he's not just irritated by Gary. Gary said he isn't but he did spend a lot of time on him.
Benjy said he'll bet $100 on Jon. Robin said she'll take that bet. Benjy said he thinks Gary will be devastated if he loses. Gary said he won't. Robin said he had better be. Howard said the one person who already lost in this is Mary. He said she had to practice with Gary. Sal said she lost years ago.
Howard said he should take a break and get to the game. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and talked about the Guns N' Roses song and how this was in Argentina. Robin asked if they're in the Rock and Roll Hal of Fame. Howard said they must be. He let the song play a little longer. He said they were inducted in 2012.
Howard said it's time for Stump the Booey. He had the theme song playing and said that they're going to have Jon and Gary playing against each other. Robin said that Jon seemed to know as much as Gary so they decided to do this.
Howard said he has Jon Hein Audio book on the phone to show off his knowledge. He took the call and the guys played some audio of Jon talking about the Bee Gees. Howard said he has to get off the phone.
Robin said she was watching a financial show the other day and someone used the term Jump the Shark. Robin said Jon has entered the Lexicon if you will.
Howard said he's going to give some background on both Jon and Gary. He said the game came about because Gary loves being that guy when it comes to music. He said he's proven himself over the years. He said Gary has an impressive record with the game and he decided to retire in 2017. He said he's coming out of retirement now. He said Gary felt that his performance was being affected by his age. He said Gary has a success rate of 85 percent. He said the buy has knowledge.
Robin asked if Jon's age is affecting his brain. Jon said of course. Howard said Gary won for the first time in 2002. He played some audio from that show when Gary won the game.
Howard said Gary has butterflies in his stomach. Gary said he'll be fine once he gets on the court. Howard said he has to get control of that. He said he threw out that pitch and had butterflies. Gary said he knows. Robin said her money is in jeopardy.
Howard said he believes that those butterflies are actually chocolate and shrimp. Howard said Gary has opposed a lot of opponents. Howard said he was able to identify a lot of songs that Sour Shoes played in the studio. He played a clip of Sour doing that with Gary. Howard said Gary is impressive. He said he really is ''that guy.''
Howard said Gary closed out Stump the Booey with 2 loses and one win. He said he did win his final match in 2017. He played some of that final Stump the Booey. In the clip they talked about how Gary thinks his memory is going.
Howard said Gary has come out of retirement and he's not going to let Jon get away with nonsense. He said Gary and Jon have agreed that the loser will give up their voting rights for the Hall of Fame. Gary said if he wins he will not be voting for Iron Maiden. Howard said Gary or Jon will get double ballots which will be very exciting. Howard said both of these guys don't want to lose their vote so there's a lot riding on this.
Howard said Jon Hein is absolutely a person who should be voting because he had a chapter in his book about music. He said he's looking forward to voting twice in the Hall of Fame. Robin asked if he's going to vote for the same on both. Jon said he has 7 bands he'd like to vote for so he may spread them across the two.
Jon said he's very nervous. He said there's a lot of pressure on him. He said he doesn't want to embarrass himself. Howard said that he likes how seriously they're taking this.
Howard said they did test Jon a few weeks ago and he did well. Howard said they should start the game. He said they know how this works. He said he'll play some of a song and the guys have to write down their answer with the exact name and artist. He said Jason will keep score and be the judge. Howard asked if he can be an impartial judge. Jason said he can. He said he has equal amounts of animosity toward both of them. Howard asked if they spell a band's name wrong will they still get it. Jason said spelling isn't what they're looking for. He said if they spell ''Beatle'' and not ''Beatles'' then they may not get it right. Gary asked if they write out a title that's too long but the title is in the title will they get it. Jason said no but they'll have to take it on a case by case basis. Howard said they'll have to see what happens. He said these game shows are such bullshit.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she's worried about cheating. Howard asked what she thinks is going to happen. The caller said that she thinks that Jon may be using Shazam. She said Gary has been doing this a long time but Jon hasn't. She said that Jon got the 5 right so how did he do that. Howard asked Jon if he's using Shazam. Jon said that's a great tip but he didn't even think about it. He said he's not using Shazam. He said he hasn't seen the questions and he's going into this cold because he wants to win on his merits.
Howard said he's assuming that they're not going to cheat. He said now they're ready to play Stump the Booey. He played the first song and Jon and Gary wrote down their answers. Gary asked to hear it again. Howard played it and asked for their answers. Gary went first and didn't have anything written down. He said he'd guess it was Tiffany ''I think We're Alone Now'' but he was wrong. Jon had Stacey Q ''Two of Hearts'' and that was the right answer. Gary said don't count him out yet. He said he could get some right. Howard said he just had the weirdest thought that his music knowledge was stored in his knees. He said now he has no knowledge at all. He said we assume the brain stores it all. He said maybe it's connected to his knees that are in a garbage pail somewhere. He said they might need those knees back. Howard said he thinks the knee bone is connected to the music bone.
Howard played the next song and had Jon and Gary write down their answers. Jon and Gary wrote down their answers. Howard asked Jon what he had. Jon had Def Leppard ''Love Bites'' and he was right. Gary had the same thing.
Howard asked Jon and Gary about who they were and where they were from like they were on a game show. They introduced themselves and Howard snored after hearing Jon's story.
Howard played the next song and asked Gary what he has. Gary said he has Pet Shop Boys ''West End Girls'' and he was right. Jon had the same thing.
Howard played the next song and asked Jon what he has. Gary was writing down his answer as they were talking so they were questioning if that was legal. Gary said he's done now. Jon said he has Jermaine Stewart ''We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off'' and he was right. Howard asked Gary what he has. Gary said he had the same thing but he paused with the last name. Howard said it doesn't look like Stewart to him. Robin said that's not Stewart. She said it looks like Chinese. Howard played more of the song. Howard took a call from fake Mary Dell'Abate who said Jon is turning her on with his music knowledge. Howard let her go pretty quickly. Howard took a call from Gary's Brain which was just wind whistling sounds.
Howard played the next song and asked Jon what he has. He had ''I Will Always Love You'' by The Cure. Howard said he's close but that's not right. It's called Love Song by The Cure. Howard asked Gary what he has. Gary said he wrote down exactly what Jon had. They both got it wrong. Howard said Jon has won Stump the Booey. Howard asked what's going on here. Gary said it was a terrible showing. Howard said Gary could have taken it. Gary said he should have taken it. He said he's not sure what happened. Jon said he still doesn't know the name of that song. Howard said Gary spent all that time and now he's lost his vote to Jon who will vote for his Hall of Fame inductees. Gary said he should have had that one and they should have gone into overtime. He said that 3 right is never going to give you victory.
Jon said he can't believe it. He said he can't believe Gary didn't get ''Two of Hearts.'' He said that it's a shitty way to win but he wants to thank Robin for her lack of confidence in him. He said this was all to celebrate Gary's birthday and now he's beaten him. Robin said some friend he is. Howard said he thinks Gary could win if he had no pressure on him.
Howard played a song for Gary to guess and it was Adam Ant with ''Goody Two Shoes.'' They both got that so Howard played another one. Gary said Jon won't get this. Howard asked for the answer. Jon said it's ''Money'' but didn't have the name of the band. Gary said it's The Flying Lizards. Howard said he's right.
Howard said he has another one. He played the song and the guys wrote down their answers. Gary said he has ''Baby I Love Your Way'' By Will to Power. Howard said it's ''Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird.'' Howard said that he would have had it wrong. Jon said he had the same thing.
Howard said they could do this all day long. Robin said that she could have won if they played the right songs. Jon said give him some credit there. Howard said next year they'll play for wives.
Howard said to brag now they have Jon Hein Audio book on the phone. He took the call and the guys had Jon talking about the band Styx.
Howard said he knows Gary is hurting a little bit. He said he's going to wrap up the game now. He thanked them for playing and said now Jon is ''that guy'' when it comes to music. They went to break a short time later.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he thinks that Dr. Oz is so good on Jeopardy that they may have found their new host. He said he's so relaxed with it. Gary said they say that 600 former contestants signed a petition to have him removed. He said they think he dispenses bad medical advice and he shouldn't be on the show. Howard said if he's dispensing bad medical advice then that's where he should be. He said you don't want him practicing medicine.
Ralph said they played some really easy songs and they should have known them all. He said he was close to getting most of them. Howard said people sit at home thinking they can win but they can't get them.
Howard played a song for Ralph and he wanted to hear Gary's answer first. He had no idea what it was. Gary said it's ''Too Shy'' by Kajagoogoo. Howard played another one for Ralph and he didn't get that one either. Howard said he loves these guys. He said it was ''Overkill'' by Men at Work.
Howard said Ralph's whole problem is that he thinks he can do anything. Ralph said they should have been tougher songs. Howard said if you know anything about game shows you know that you structure it so people can get them right at home occasionally.
Howard played another song and Ralph wasn't able to get that one either. It was ''Alone'' by Heart. Ralph didn't know that. Howard said Ralph is so outrageous. He said he got kicked off Twitter so he gave him his ''Rant of the Week'' on the show. He said he gave him some time and he listened to one the other night. He said he shouldn't play it. He said he's worked up over Dave Chappelle for being lazy and not working hard enough. Ralph said that's not what he said. Howard played the clip where Ralph went off on Chappelle saying that he just saw a 20 minuet clip of him talking about the saga of the Chappelle Show. He said he should get over it already. He said he probably would if he wasn't high all the time. He said his stand up isn't that important. He said he's afraid he's going to become Bill Cosby in a few years.
Howard said that was basically him saying that Chappelle is so high that he can't come up with material. Ralph said no one cares about that show. Howard said he hasn't seen the show either. Gary and Jon said the show was great. Gary said Ralph has never seen the show and he's goofing on him about it. Ralph said he signed a contract and walked away from the show. He said it's everyone else's fault but his.
Howard said maybe Ralph has a point there. Robin said he has no point. She said you don't decide what his material should be about. Robin said he wasn't bitching about it, he was thanking the people for helping him get what he deserved. Ralph said he was thanking the people for not watching the show. He said he's one of those people. Ralph said he was blaming everyone but himself and he's the one who walked away from his own show.
Howard said the game is over and thanked Gary and Jon for playing. He said he has to get out of it now.
Howard said it sounds like he doesn't have to deal with people and he just floats around. He said it sounds like a great job. Howard said when he was watching that Oprah interview he looked pretty depressed. He said he might need a life coach himself. Robin said she hopes they don't put too much pressure on him.
Howard took a call from fake Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Howard wanted to ask a few questions. Howard said they said they were cut off from the royal family. Harry said that they were and all they got was $30 million. Howard asked Meghan about being unhappy from the beginning. She said something that was hard to understand. Robin didn't hear it either. Howard said it's not really important.
Howard asked what was so bad about being in the monarchy. Meghan said she didn't want to hand out sandwiches to kids in whatever country. She said she wanted to be an actress. She said now she's back. Howard said they're so broke they can't afford a good phone. Howard let them go a short time later.
Howard said they had Wolfie do some pre-game with Sal. He had some audio of Sal talking about his strategy to beat Wendy. Sal said his plan is diversity. He said he thinks he knows stocks pretty well based on his past experience. He said he's pretty confident he can beat her. He said if he loses to her it's just pure luck. Howard said Sal is already making excuses.
Howard had a clip of Wolfie talking to Wendy about what stocks are since she had no idea. Wolfie gave her a really simple explanation and Wendy still had no idea what it was. He explained to her what a shareholder is and she didn't get it after the explanation. Wolfie explained to her over and over and she started to get it but she thinks that she'll forget.
Howard said they wanted Wendy to know something about it before getting her into this game. He said Sal doesn't know anymore about it than Wendy does. Howard said Wolfie explained it to Wendy over and over. He said he had to do the same with Sal.
Howard said the game began a few days later and they chose from some stocks the staff had picked. Howard said they each had 4 stocks and they had $25,000 in play money to put into it. He said that they had a disclaimer for the audience. It was a legal disclaimer so people can't blame them if they lose money.
Howard said they got Wendy and Sal on to name their picks. Wendy picked Disney as her first stock. Sal said that's a horrible pick. Wendy said he doesn't know shit. Sal's first pick was Amazon. He said it's a proven company with a proven track record. Wendy said that Sal is stupid and retarded so that was not a good pick.
Howard said Disney also owns Marvel and a lot of other things so it's not just the parks. He said Sal was going off on her about that. Robin said the streaming service is doing so well that it raised the company without anything else doing well. She said Wendy would probably have a windfall if she picked that stock. She said it's a great pick.
Howard said this is their second selection. He played a clip where Wendy said her number 2 pick is Pepsi. she said she drinks a lot of Mountain Dew and Pepsi. Sal said that's an okay selection. He said in the short term that's a bad selection. Sal picked Netflix as his second pick. Wendy called Sal names again.
Howard said he likes Wendy's thoughts there. He said Pepsi owns a lot of drinks. Robin said they own snack foods too. She said they did very well during the pandemic. Robin said Netflix is already having troubles and Sal might be wrong again. She said that Wendy is looking well so far.
Howard said Robin just invested half a million with Wendy. He said that's how committed she is. Howard said they asked Wendy for her third pick. Wendy said she's picking Walmart because she shops there. Sal said that's a good pick but not good enough to beat him. Sal picked Target stock as his next one. Wendy said Sal doesn't know what the hell he's doing.
Howard said the final pick was confusing to Wendy. She saw the Apple symbol and she thought it was Applebees. Wendy said that she's going to take Wendy's instead. She said she loves their Dave's Single and Chili. Sal picked Gamestop as his next pick. Wendy wished him luck, douche bag. She said she's going to win and Sal will be the loser who can't get any pussy.
Howard said Wendy had a few more words for Sal. He played a clip of Wendy talking about how Sal doesn't know jack crap. She said she thinks she has the right picks. She said that she'd rather kick Sal's ass than win the cash prize. She said Sal is a loser retard. Sal said he wishes her luck but he's going to whip her butt. Wendy said she's going to whip his ass.
Howard said as of 9:55 this morning Gamestop is the best performing for Sal. Robin said that's the stock that's bouncing around because of the Robin Hood app and people are speculating on it. Howard said Wendy has remained pretty even so far and Sal was up by over $9,000. He said it's anyone's game really. He said they'll continue to track their portfolios over the next few months. He said stay tuned. Howard played a song that Wendy sang for the game.
Howard said Gary took a big loss today. He said that he had a tough morning. Michael said he's going to get it today and next week too. He said he should hold his head in shame.
Howard said that Michael is kicking Gary while he's down. He said he took a big loss today. Gary said that Michael is a glorified Wack Packer and he needs constant attention so that's why he called in. He said he can't do anything on his own so he has to climb on the backs of other. Michael went off on him about getting stuck in his bean bag chair. Gary said he's like the new Sal with his one joke. He said he must have a show to do that's about to be canceled.
Howard let Michael and Gary go off on each other for a minute. He said he loves Gary had he took a big loss today. Gary said he calls the show because he can't get booked on the show. He said he's just a regular caller. He said he's like the West coast High Pitch Erik. Gary said Michael is such an asshole. He said he's going to ride this because he gets attention over it. He said he's a hypocritical asshole.
Howard said they had a lot of people write in about Randy the Pan Sexual. He read some of that feedback. Howard said people think he'll be a great source of material. Howard said some people think that he might be the next Wack Packer.
Howard said he got some feedback about King of All Blacks. He said some people want him banned from the show since he was banned from Twitter. Howard said King got a lot of negative feedback. He said they got a ton before vacation about his thoughts on vaccines. Howard played audio of King ranking the vaccines.
Howard said the fans wrote in about that. He read some of those comments. He said that King said that Moderna was the best but he got his first shot the other day and it was the Pfizer shot. Howard said King got on Instagram and put out a message that's not so positive. Howard played the clip and King said he doesn't give a damn if he can spread the virus or not, he just cares if he can get it. He doesn't want to wear a mask. Howard said he can't mean that.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks and asked him to take that back. King said he put some hot sauce on that. He said that he did get the vaccine and he did some research and found out the Pfizer is the best. He said once they put that needle in his arm he felt like Superman. He said it was insane. He said Howard has to do it. He said anyone over 50 can do it now. Howard said he's spreading information that's wrong. King said you can't get it once you get the shot. Howard asked if he made a scene about getting the Pfizer shot.
King said he went to the whitest hospital for this. He said there wasn't a Negro in sight. He said there were people in the waiting room and everything was cool. He said then he heard them talking about Johnson & Johnson. He said when they asked for his insurance card he had that on his mind. He asked what they were going to give him. He said he heard it was Pfizer and she said it was top notch. He said he took that and ran with it. He was going on about how he cant get sick when you get the shot. Robin said he's being ridiculous. You can still spread it. Howard dsaid King is the one who said that black people can't get it when the pandemic started. Howard hung up on King in the middle of a sentence.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was calling in because Rapaport has nothing to do but pick on Gary. He said he calls in with nothing better to do. He said he's a black appropriations guy and he has nothing to do. Howard said he does have it in for Gary. He said point well taken.
Howard took a call from a guy who said hearing Michael Rapaport is living on the west coast makes him think that he's so fake. Howard said he didn't know that he was out there. Gary said he does live in L.A. because that's where the work is with the little work he gets.
Howard said next Wednesday they have Bob Odenkirk coming on. He said that they get to talk to Bob about his new movie ''Nobody'' and it's so fucking good. He said he plays basically a weapons expert and kills a lot of people. He said it's so fucking good. Robin said he doesn't look like the kind of guy you'd pick for that role. Howard said it really works though. He said the movie was so good. Robin said he's a very funny an and he can pull off drama and action even though he's very funny. Howard wrapped up after saying that movie is out on Friday. They were done around 10:30am.