Howard asked if Robin hears something. Robin said she hears voices. Howard said maybe Fred is playing something. Fred said it's not him. He said he has no idea what that is. Howard asked how he is. Fred said he's fantastic. Howard asked if he is one of the guys strictly quarantining. Fred said he goes to the stores for groceries and things like that. He said he had a COVID test and he's negative. He said he had the one they jam up your nose. He said it's a lot of fun. He said he went with the most safe and reliable test. Howard asked why he had it. Fred said just to do it. He said he does go out to do things so he wanted to make sure he's okay. Howard asked if he goes to parties. Fred said no.
Howard said he has friends who are going to parties and he doesn't get it. He said they go without masks. Robin said she does too. She said they're not getting sick. She said one of the groups have had several tests and haven't gotten sick. She said that emboldens them to be more lax. Howard said you think you're the crazy one. He said the CDC says that they did a survey and found that you're twice as likely to test positive if you went to a restaurant. He said he has a friend who had COVID and she can't fully recover. He said she has breathing difficulty and she used to be a runner. He said on days that are bad she has a tough time just taking a shower.
Howard said he's petrified of it. He said he did get a hair cut though. He said Toni came over to their house and they sat outside. He said she wore two masks and that plastic shield over her face. He said she had a whole thing like a doctor wears over them. He said she has to wear that for the work she's doing. He said they didn't talk during it. He said they usually do but not this time. He said that's another way you spread it.
Howard said he wore a mask too. He said they sat outside. He said he felt so creepy during it. He said she has been tested. He said she was tested 2 days before. Robin said she gets tested 2 or 3 times a week. Howard said he's still terrified. He said his friends laugh at him and ask when they're going to see him. He said you won't see him until the end of 2021. Robin said she thinks Christmas and Thanksgiving are canceled.
Howard said he won't be coming out before the end of 2021. He said he will also have to see the outcome of the election. He said there are a bunch of things at play.
Howard said he is deep in hiding right now like Richard Simmons. Howard said Beth worked with Toni too and they were together for 3 hours. He said that he's convinced she has COVID. He said she's getting tested today. He said this is how crazy he is. He said he's afraid of her. He said he's not going to survive it if he gets COVID. He said he doesn't want to get it. He said he has enough going on.
Howard said he knows if he gets it then he's going to be miserable. He said he has friends who have parties and have 35 people over. He said nothing has changed in their lives. He said he's not sure how they're doing it. He said he has a friend who told him he can leave the house because the cases are down. Howard said he's not going to do that. He said people get relaxed around other people and they start drinking. He said all of his friends aren't that interesting that he has to see them. He said he doesn't miss them that much.
Howard said the people who want to see him are the ones he doesn't really want to see that much. Robin said now you know that Howard doesn't care to see you.
Howard said he just finished a big painting. He said it's almost 40 inches wide and maybe 25 inches high. He said it's really big. He said it's one of the biggest he's done. He said it's a road they used to pass by out there. He said that this street used to be farm land. He said it's half farm land and then you see the encroaching mansions. He said man is destroying the environment. He said there's no wildlife because the fields are being destroyed. He said he built a home out there too so he knows what's going on. He said the painting is really interesting to him.
Howard said his statement in the painting is that his house is fine but the other houses are bad. Robin said they should have stopped at his house. Howard said that's right. He said he built his house on an empty lot. He said his cousin Ritchie built a house in Maine back in the 70s. He said that he went up there and it wasn't really finished inside. He said he was young and stupid and didn't think about how it wasn't finished. He said you'd see the insulation exposed. He said he was no Bob Vila.
Howard said he got Beth quarantining upstairs with the mail in the garage. He said he'll keep her there for 2 weeks. Howard said he can't be without Beth. He said he loves her so much.
Howard said his hair cut felt so good. He said that he saw how it looked with his Jane Fonda interview. He said it felt like he lost 30 pounds from his head. He said Beth vacuumed it up and it filled up a whole bag. He said she said they should send it to a cancer center or something. Fred played a clip of a Roomba vacuuming. Howard said he got mad at Beth for not docking the Roomba last week. He said it wasn't charged up to vacuum so he got upset.
Howard said Lucy did another pilot for the show and it went on the air and Lucy produced the first season and then sold her company to Paramount Pictures. He said they took over the show after that. He said she probably made some good money on that but she could have owned the Star Trek franchise.
Robin said the pilot was the one with Commander Pike. Robin said no one was going for the guy in the box.
Howard took a call from Jon Hein Audiobook who wanted to talk about Lucy. Howard took the call and the guys played clips of Jon talking about the Lucille Ball shows. They had Jon going on and on about I Love Lucy and all of that.
Howard said he has to ask Jon a question. He asked why he'd write a book about something they know about. He said they already know about it. The guys just played clips of Jon rambling on and on about the show.
Howard asked if there are that many people who don't know about the show. He asked who this book is for. The guys had Jon start rambling again. Howard interrupted and asked how he got paid to write about I Love Lucy. Jon rambled on and on about Lucy. Howard asked if he's having a stroke. He let Jon go after that. Howard read more about what Desilu produced and it was a bunch of popular shows.
Howard said he was doing the math on this. He said he has 5 little kids. He said all of the Baldwin brothers have a total of 17 between them. He said he was thinking about the future of the planet and about 1/3 of the human race will be Baldwins. He said that Alec and his wife must start fucking right after the kid comes out. He said they have a kid a year. Robin said that's not good for you. Howard said Alec must hate Paparazzi and condoms.
Howard said Hilaria has already said that she has promised Carmen that they're going to have another sister for her. He said they're getting busy on that. He said imagine what goes on in that house.
Howard said he was reading that Dancing with the Stars is coming back on the air. He said the first question he had was wondering about how they can produce that show. He said imagine if people die from COVID for that dancing show. He asked if it's worth dying for that show. He said this is the 29th season for that show. He said they're going to have a new judge on the show because the one guy is stuck in England. He said he's not sure how this is going to work.
Howard said the show has turned into Dancing and Survivor. He said he's afraid someone is going to die from COVID on the show. He said they do have a list of celebrities who are going to be on it. He said Nelly is going to be on it. He said he's not sure if that guy is still a big name. Robin said the genre changes so quickly that you don't find long lived rappers. She said they don't rap for 20 years unless it's Snoop. Howard asked if Jay Z is big. Robin said he is. She said she thinks he put out a song recently.
Howard said Nelly is on the show. He said that has to do something to your cred when you're on that show. He said maybe they should call it Dying with the Stars. He said Johnny Weir is on the show. He said he's not sure if he'll dance with a woman or a man. Robin said he'll be with a woman. Howard said he should be allowed to dance with a man. Howard said there won't be an audience or a band in the studio. He said this is what you have to do during COVID.
Howard said they have Anne Heche on the show. Robin said she was shocked by that one. Howard said AJ McLean is on the show. He was in The Backstreet Boys. He said grey also have Kaitlyn Bristowe. He said that Carole Baskin from Tiger King is on the show. He said he never watched that show because he didn't like the whole idea of it. He said he thought the story was that people thought she killed her husband but she was never charged. Howard said she's on Dancing with the Stars now. He said OJ must think he's going to have a comeback now.
Howard said he thinks they fired Tom Bergeron because he is in that age group that COVID-19 is killing.
Howard read about some of the other people who are going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Howard went into his Agent character and talked to one of the stars about doing the show. He had the person breaking down when they heard that they had to do the show to stay in show business. Howard had the agent going on and on about who Anne Heche will be on the show with. He mentioned the Tiger King woman and had Anne freaking out about her being no the show with her. Howard had the agent telling her about being on with Johnny Weir and she would break down crying. The Agent would tell her a name and Anne would cry over every name.
The Agent told Anne that she has to do this to get back on Jimmy Kimmel. He had Anne saying this isn't how she wanted to get back on Kimmel. Howard had the agent going on and on with the names. He said at least she's not on camera jerking off like Aaron Carter.
Robin said good things do come from this. Howard had Anne asking what she did wrong to deserve this. The Agent said that she did do that movie ''Volcano.'' He said at least she's not selling autographed head shots for $10 each. Howard had the Agent telling her to do Cameo and she broke down crying.
Robin said it looks like Anne may have to be locked up with those people too. Howard had the agent telling her about that. Anne was breaking down and crying over that. He had her asking what she has to do to get on TV. The agent said that she can have an affair with Brandi Glanville to get on TV. He had the agent telling her that she can do the Wrap Up Show with Gary Dell'Abate and Jon Hein now too. She cried over that.
Howard said the other good news is that Eric Andre's show is coming back in October. He said he likes that show a lot too. He said that he thinks it's meant for high people but he loves it even not being high.
Howard said Diana Rigg passed away. He said he used to watch that show The Avengers and he thought she was hot. He said the show was horrible but he liked her. He said he was sad that she died. He said that she was on Game of Thrones. He said she played Lady Tyrell. He said she died.
Howard said he still thinks Ronnie knows who he's going to vote for. He said that everyone knows and there are some who just won't admit it. He said he feels that Ronnie is just kind of embarrassed about who he's going to vote for. He said that was his opinion. He said King of All Blacks called at the end of the show and busted on him. He said it wasn't King's idea but he was good at questioning Ronnie. Howard read some feedback about that argument.
King said that it's upsetting because Ronnie has an opinion on everything. He said he knows what he likes and doesn't like but this one thing he doesn't know. Howard read more feedback and people were saying that he doesn't have to say who he's voting for. Howard said other people said they think he's voting for Trump and he's afraid to admit it. Howard read more feedback about how Ronnie and King are great on the air together. Howard said someone said they need their own show. Howard said that there was an influx of people who hated King too. He read some of that feedback.
Howard said that someone wrote in saying that they have to stop thinking King has money because people who talk about money that much don't have any. King said he owns three properties and he's not a millionaire but he's comfortable. He said his father wanted him to be comfortable so that's what he did for him. Howard asked if he owns three homes. King said yes. He said it fluctuates and it could be worth a couple hundred thousand. He said he has to be smart. He said his wife works and she's got a great job. He said she's very frugal. He said without her he'd run through it.
Howard said in his mind he's thinking the properties are worth something if they're in the tri-state area. King said they're in New Jersey. Howard said they must be worth 200 grand minimally. King said the house he's in is worth maybe $520,000. He said that's just the one he's in now. He said he has a condo he bought that was a foreclosure. He said he's renting that out and it has a mortgage. He said that's another small home worth maybe close to 400. Howard said that's almost a million right there. King said he doesn't think about that. He said he likes to bust people's balls. He said he's kind of frugal. He said the things he owns are things he bought himself. He said people think he got all of this stuff from his parents. He said they left him something. He said his sister and brother got some stuff but they passed away. Howard said he guarantees King killed them. King said his brother passed away from Pancreatic Cancer. He said his sister passed about 4-5 years ago of cancer. Howard asked how old they were. King said his sister was 59 and his brother was 41.
Howard asked how old King is. King said he's 57. Howard said he thought he was younger. Gary asked King if he could buy a $15,000 watch if his parents didn't leave him anything. King said no. Gary said he talks about how he'd have stuff but he wouldn't have most of this stuff if his parents didn't leave it to him. He said he got shit for free and he's always making fun of people for not having it. King said he does have it though. He said his father left this stuff to him. He said his father was in the same place that Howard was staying in Barbados. Gary said King doesn't have anything to do with that though. He said his father worked hard to make that money. Howard cut Gary off and said he wants to finish the email.
Howard read some feedback about King wearing fur and why he does that. King said he likes that stuff but he's an animal lover. He said he has two dogs that he just had to put down. He said that he likes Mink coats.
Howard said getting back to the feud Ronnie hates King. He said he thinks that he's the biggest dirt bag. He said he thought their conversation was quite entertaining.
Howard asked Ronnie if he can address a new question from King. Ronnie asked what it is. King said there he goes. Ronnie asked what this is. He asked if this is Kiss King of All Blacks day. Howard said he did think that he had a good call last week. Ronnie said that's good to hear.
King said he admires how Ronnie is with his girlfriend. Ronnie told him to shut the fuck up and leave her out of this. He said keep her out of your mouth. Ronnie said he doesn't want nay compliments from him.
Howard said he just anted to know if Ronnie has made up his mind about who he's voting for. He said he never told him he had to answer who it was. Ronnie said he has no idea. Howard asked how you can be undecided. Ronnie said he can believe whatever he wants. Howard asked how he can be undecided.
King said he won't be able to say he's undecided after this. He said that Bob Woodward did an interview with Donald Trump and he did 18 phone interviews with him. He said he knew that COVID was dangerous. Howard asked if Ronnie knows who Bob Woodward is. Ronnie said he does. Howard told King to get to his question. King said Trump knew the virus was 5 times worse than the flu. He said this on tape. Howard said get to the question. Howard asked if this affected him at all. Ronnie said it did but he's still undecided. Ronnie said he's still confused. King said he just said he's undecided after the President deceived the nation. He asked if he's fucking crazy. Ronnie said he is when he has to speak to him.
Howard asked what piece of information he's waiting for. Ronnie said he doesn't know. King said he's waiting for Trump to shoot someone on 5th Avenue. He said he'd still be undecided after that.
Howard said some people think that Ronnie should do a radio show with King. Ronnie said yeah, that will happen. He said King is so phony and full of shit. He said people of his own race can't stand him because he's so full of shit. He said he's got all of this bling and his coats and cars and Moen faucets. He said he's so full of shit. Howard said Ronnie may never decide who he wants to vote for.
King said it has to boil his blood that he can't decide. Howard said Ronnie thinks King wants to be white. Ronnie said he never said that. He said King is nothing but bullshit. He said look at what he did to Rahsaan on the Wrap Up Show.
Howard asked how he knows that black people don't like King. Ronnie said read the emails. He said read the Twitter comments and all of that. He said no one can fucking stand him.
King was trying to talk about Ronnie was talking over him. Ronnie said no one likes what a phony he is. King said he likes listening to radio and Howard. He said the one thing he has to say is that the black people who listen to Howard are like Rahsaan. Ronnie said he just put his foot in his mouth. He said he doesn't know what he's saying. King said he does.
Howard asked Ronnie about tweeting two promos for a helicopter company in Vegas this weekend. Ronnie said they're friends of his. He said he just retweeted some stuff they put up. He said the guy is a GM and he's a good friend of his. King said the guy wouldn't care if he did that and wasn't on the show. Ronnie said he never spoke to the guy about that.
Howard asked if Ronnie blocks King on Twitter. Ronnie said he does. King asked why he would do that. He said he's not a phony at all. He said he's probably the most unphony person he'll ever meet.
King asked if Donald Trump is a phony. Ronnie asked what that has to do with him. King said see what this guy is up to. Ronnie said he's trying to put off that he's a phony. King asked if Donald is a phony. Ronnie didn't answer. King said he has evidence that Trump is a phony. He said he and his sister went to his real estate seminar at Trump University. He said his sister wanted to get into real estate. He said his father told them to check it out. He said his point is that they spent $28,000 on that course and it turned out to be a fraud. He asked Ronnie if Trump is a phony. Ronnie said he didn't take that course. He said King is the dumbbell who took it. Howard asked if he feels Trump is a phony. Ronnie said he's not answering his question. Howard asked if he feels that Trump is a phony. Ronnie said he has no feeling on it. He said he didn't waste his money on that course. Howard said they know that.
King asked Ronnie if he's calling his sister an idiot. Ronnie said he never said his sister was an idiot. He said he has no gripe with her. Howard asked if he thinks King is an idiot for going to that course. Ronnie said he wouldn't spend that kind of money on a course like he did. Howard asked if the course was a phony. Ronnie said he wasn't there so he can't tell you. He said he'd open a book instead of going to that course.
Howard said he has to go. He said Beth is there. She was wearing a mask. Beth said that she's getting tested. Howard said she's doing the saliva test. Howard said he's convinced she has COVID because they got hair cuts. Howard said he loves her. Beth left shortly after coming in. Howard said he had to hang up on King and Ronnie because he wants to take a break. He said it's fun to listen to them argue. Howard had a song parody about Ronnie being undecided. He played that song which was to the tune of The Talking Heads ''Psycho Killer.''
Howard said Michael Rapaport called in about King and Ronnie. He played the message he left about what an embarrassment King is. He was going off on King about what an idiot he is. He told him to stop calling the show. Howard said what a scathing call that was.
Howard said King gets knocked a lot but a lot of fans liked his call last week. Howard got in a plug for their show sponsor Gardein. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he loves this song. He let it play a little bit. He said he loves music so much. He said they should talk about music here. He said this month is the 40th anniversary of what. Robin said of the White Album. She said that's the 50th. Howard said it's the 40th anniversary of John Bonham's death. He said he was the drummer for Led Zeppelin. He said he was probably the best drummer of all time. He said the guy was a heavy drinker. He said he was only 32 when he died. Howard said imagine you're in the best band in the world and you can't stop drinking. He asked where that talent goes. He said he knows it's a disease but shit. He said he was just 32 years old. He said he remembers when he died. He said they said they weren't going to go on without him. He said he gets it now why they did that. Howard said John was an essential part of the band. He said he's going to talk about a song that has one of the greatest drum beats of all time. He played ''When the Levee Breaks'' and said he loves that. He said that's iconic.
Howard said that they should be honoring John Bonham today. He said when this song came out it was their fourth album. He said Chris Cornell came on the show and talked about how great the song ''Thank You'' was and how it was overlooked. He said that it's one of the greatest love songs of all time if you ask him. He said that drum lick was overlooked because there were so many great songs on the album. He said When The Levee Breaks was a cover song. He said that it was released in 1929 and it was written by Kansas Joe McCoy. He said it was about the great Mississippi flood of 1927. He read the history of that song and how it was written by the perspective of a plantation worker who had to pile sand bags for this levy. He said that no white people were going to go to that flooding area to pile that stuff up.
Howard said that he has the original song and it shows the genius of Led Zeppelin because they changed it so much. Howard played the original song and it didn't sound anything like the Zeppelin version. Howard said that's the original song. He said a lot of bands loved the old blues songs. He said that's how they got into music. Howard said Ronnie was a big fan of that song because it was a big hit back in his day. He said he used to beat off to Memphis Mini. He said Memphis Mini was the better singer but Joe sang that song.
Howard said Led Zeppelin took that song and turned it into a masterpiece. He read that the band was recording in 1970 and they were at this Hedley Grange Mansion where they recorded the album. He said it was great for recording apparently. He said a bunch of bands recorded there. Howard said Robert Plant wrote Stairway to Heaven while working there.
Howard read about how they came up with this cover of ''When the Levee Breaks.'' He said the way he understood the story is that they tried several versions of the song and grey didn't like them. He had some examples of what they came up with originally. Howard played some of the original stuff they came up with. Howard said they tried something out and it didn't work.
Howard said this is why they remember John Bonham. He said when he did the famous drum beat the song came together. He said this is how he understands it. He said they had this great entrance at this place and they had a new drum kit they were testing. He said John was in this stairwell and they hung microphones in there to get the sound grey got for the opening of that song. Howard said they were blown away by this sound.
Howard said they used to tell John that he played too loud in a studio. He said for this song they captured the sound like never before. He said that this is Andy Johns talking about Bonham and his reaction to the recording. He played a clip of Andy talking about capturing that drum sound.
Howard said the guys in the band felt like it was making it sound like the Levee Breaking. Howard said they tried different ways of recording the drums and the harmonica. He said they played that tape backwards to get that sound of the harmonica going. He said that's actually backwards harmonica. He said then the guitar sound is going back and forth and Jimmy Page has talked about that being his favorite. Howard said it's just magnificent.
Howard said the final version of the song was almost impossible to play live. He said they only played it a few times in concert. He said in 1994 Jimmy and Robert Plant did an Unplugged album and performed the song. Howard played some of that performance.
Howard said the reason they're remembering John Bonham is because those drum beats have been sampled so many times. He said that Beyonce, Eminem and even they have used them. He said The Losers used them. He said the Beastie Boys used it in ''Rhymin' and Stealin.'' He played some of that song. Howard said Dr. Dre used it. He played an example of one of his songs from the album Chronic.
Howard said Sophie B Hawkins used it in ''Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover.'' He played some of that song. He said they sped up the drum beat for that one. Howard said that guy was a fucking monster. He said that's why Led Zeppelin broke up.
Howard said he has Enigma's ''Return to Innocence'' using the drum beat. Howard said probably the greatest example of using it was The Losers using it in Hurdy Gurdy Man. He played some of that performance. Howard said people can't get over that. He said those drum beats are something.
Howard said it's been 40 years. He said rest in peace John Bonzo Bonham. He played a montage of some of his drum beats from Zeppelin songs. Howard said what a man. He said there's the evidence submitted for your approval.
Howard said lets remember this man. He played a song parody the guys made using Gary's voice and throat clearing to the tune of Led Zeppelin songs.
Howard said Kids use Baba Booey in their TikTok videos. He said they lip sync to it. Robin said she thinks that TikTok is going away because they haven't made a deal with any American company to keep it going here.
Howard said for the rest of the week he's going to play The Great American Nightmare with the drum beat from When the Levee Breaks. He played the new version of the song the guys created using the two songs. Howard said he likes this. Robin said she does too. Howard said he's not sure what Rob would think of that but he likes it.
Howard asked who is a better drummer than him. Robin asked if anyone has anything to say. She asked if Richard has anything to say about that. Howard asked Richard what he thinks about that because he was voted the best drummer by some web sites. Richard said he was voted as one of the top 5 metal drummers ever. Howard asked if they knew he was that good when he was in those bands. Richard said he thinks that when he was in Death grey did. He said that he got to play with some of the guys in Metallica a few years back. He said they haven't played with him since.
Howard asked if he wonders if John Bonham ever drank beer from his asshole. He asked what he thinks about his speech about John today. Richard said he thinks that John was great but he would put Neil Peart right up there. Howard said he's great but who is more iconic. Richard said that's a good argument. Howard told him to get off his show. Howard said he hates Rush. Richard said that the Tom Sawyer drum solo is iconic. Richard said John played behind the beat. Howard said he knows that. Richard said that's why it has that sound. He said the beginning of ''Rock and Roll'' is really hard to play. Howard asked where his drums are. Richard said they're right next to him. Howard asked if he can play that song. Richard said he has to turn his computer. Howard said he can just play without him seeing him. He said try to play ''When the Levee Breaks'' first. Richard said he's going to wake up Bubby so sorry to him. Howard told him to just play for them.
Richard played a little and said he'll play ''When the Levee Breaks.'' He started to do that but it was clipping out. Howard said the microphone must not be able to handle it. Richard turned the drums down a little bit and tried again. It was still cutting out.
Howard said Richard really is good but it's not working. He said he blew it. He said they took away his top 5 status. Richard said it's an electronic drum kit from Roland. He said he can run it through his computer and get real drum sounds. Howard asked why he's having so much trouble doing it. Richard said he could do it through his phone and try it that way.
Richard told Howard that what he does is play something they call a blast beat. He said it was one of the first blast beats.
The guys played ''Tom Sawyer'' and Howard said that's not anywhere near as good as John Bonham. Richard said the solo part he would. He asked if he wants him to sign in through his phone and try again. Howard said sure. He said he'll kill some time by taking a call.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they aren't talking about ''Fool in the Rain'' that they should play. He said no one can replicate the sound in that one. Howard asked which album that was from. Fred said it was In Through the Out Door. Howard said that guy was something else. He said he could go through all of them but he just wanted to honor the guy.
Howard said Richard is doing something. Richard was on his phone and trying to play drums. It was coming through but cutting out again. It was cutting out just as bad as the computer. Howard said he's killing his show.
Richard said he'll play Tom Sawyer if he wants. Howard told him to do it but it cut out again. Howard said the guy who invented Zoom hated drummers so that's why it doesn't work. Howard let Richard go after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has to disagree that Neil Peart is a better drummer than John Bonham. Howard said he's not going to argue about this. He said that he isn't a Rush guy. He said even Jon Hein would admit that John Bonham is the best. Jon got on and said that Neil is better technically. Howard said no way. Jon said his hatred for the band is blinding him to how great they are. Howard said their music is soulless. He said that they don't have the soul of Led Zeppelin. Robin laughed when she asked if Jon is comparing Rush to Led Zeppelin and he said yes.
Howard said he's going to give the top 4 drummers according to Rolling Stone. He said Neil Peart is number 4. He said that the number 3 guy is Ginger Baker. He said number 2 would be Keith Moon and number 1 was John Bonham. Howard said if you put in a search for the best drummer of all time they do say that Neil was number 1 but Google is run by the Chinese and Russians so that's why they say that.
Howard said his opinion is more important that Jon Hein's. Robin asked how many people have sampled Rush. Jon said tons. Howard said no. He said that if you asked Meg Griffin who the best drummer is she'd say John Bonham. Jon said she would say a drummer none of them have ever heard of.
Jon said that Richard Christy just said that Neil is the best and he is one of the best drummers of all time himself. Howard said he knows that John Bonham was the best drummer of all time. Jason said that he Googled who the best drummer is ever and number 1 was John Bonham. Howard said Google is a good company. Gary said he Googled it and Neil Peart showed up first.
Howard said Neil Peart's name isn't even easy to pronounce. He said no one knows how to say it. Gary said Jon took him to a Rush concert and he was right up front. He said the guy is amazing. He said Bonham's songs are more iconic.
Howard said he heard that Jon hung out with JD recently. Jon said he was driving to see one of his daughters and he stopped at JD's apartment to catch up. Howard said he must really love him. Jon said he was in his car and he stayed in the car while JD stayed outside. He said they both had masks on and they were very careful. He said it was good to see him.
Howard asked if you can imagine dying to just talk to JD. JD said it was odd seeing Jon with his mask on the entire time but it was good. Howard said he had an argument with JD this morning about Beverly Hills Housewives. He said they were arguing about Brandi Glanville and Denise Richards. He said they were going back and forth talking about how this woman is destroying Denise Richards' life by bringing it out on national TV. They spent a little time going back and forth about that.
Robin said that Denise Richards has quit the show. Howard said he knew that. Howard said he's not a fan of Real Housewives of New York. He asked if they are worse than the others. JD said there are a couple. He said they're all big drinkers on New York. Howard said watching these women is so horrible but it's riveted by it.
Howard said showing off that wealth the way they do is just showing what horrible human beings they are. Robin said she's not sure that any of these shows have any good people on them. Howard wondered how Andy Cohen finds women to do those shows. He said they're all so vomitus.
JD said they're not all bad. He mentioned someone he didn't think was so bad. Howard asked JD who he would fuck out of Brandi and Denise. JD said it would have been Denise back in the day. He said they all have their issues. He said Denise has some issues and Brandi has had some work done. Howard said fair enough. Robin said he's undecided. JD said he'd probably go with Brandi at this point. Howard said he thinks that he'd fuck Denise.
Howard said Richard says his drums are working now. He said he can try playing ''When the Levee Breaks'' again. Howard had Richard give it another try. Richard went for it and played the song with the drum set not cutting out this time. Robin said the sound is good when John Bonham does it. Richard said he doesn't have a great setup there. Howard had him try ''Rock and Roll.'' Richard tried it but he said he fucks it up all the time. He went for it though.
Richard asked if he can try ''Tom Sawyer.'' Howard told him to go for it. Richard went for it with that drum solo. Howard said he knows it doesn't sound that great but Richard is something with those drums. He said even that solo annoyed him. Richard asked if it sounded better. Howard said it did but that was a big waste of time.
Howard said Lars is a fabulous drummer. The caller said he's better than Bonzo and Neil. He told him to ask Jose Mangin from the Metal channel there. Howard said if Jose says Neil Peart he would have him fired from SiriusXM. Howard told Gary to get this guy's number and they'll bet $100 on this Lars thing. He said if Lars says Bonham he gets $100 from this guy and if he says Neil then he'll give him $100. Richard said he thinks that Lars will say that it's Ian Pace from Deep Purple. Howard said they're now betting on what Lars will say. Howard said they should do that. He said they can have a list of 100 questions and grey can bet on what his answers will be.
Richard said they should ask Lars what his favorite movie is. Howard said Gary will do this. He said when they play the game they'll have him pick movies from one or the other. Gary said he can get an answer for this Joe thing by tomorrow. He said then they'll set up the game for somewhere down the road. He said he'll work on that today.
Howard said they can ask him all kinds of questions. He said that he'll have Lars answering about all of this stuff. Robin said Lars is opinionated so he'll have an answer for everything. Howard did his Lars impression and had him answering about being unshaved or shaved and things like that. Howard said they can do a bunch of them. Howard said they can ask what he likes better with candy and things like that. rich ad said he thinks that Lars' best performance is ''Dyers Eve.'' He said the double kick is insane on that song.
Howard said they'll get Joe's information and get an answer from Lars. Howard asked Richard what song he wanted him to play. Richard mentioned Dyers Eve. Howard tried to find it. He did his Lars impression and Richard said he loves it. Howard said he needs to work on it. Howard did more of the impression and then played some of the ''Dyers Eve'' song.
Howard said he really wants to play that game with Lars. Gary said he'll work on it. Howard did his Lars impression answering the question they're going to ask him. He said the bets he's very opinionated on everything.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they're talking about the best drummer in a band or the best band. Howard said you can't break it apart. The caller said that Neil Peart is a better drummer but Zeppelin is a better band. Howard said he would be shocked if Lars' answer isn't Bonham. Robin asked if Rush would have stopped being if Neil Peart had died young. Howard said he doesn't think so.
Howard took a call from a guy who said his Lars impression sounds like if he had caught the Elephant Man disease. Howard said he wasn't planning on doing the impression and he doesn't do impressions. He said he can't really do Lars. He said he can't imagine he's going to say Neil Peart. He said he's not sure what that accent is. He said Lars is from Denmark. He said that must be what it is. He said he can't wait to play this game with Lars.
Howard asked Robin what he thinks his favorite film is. Robin said she thinks The Godfather. Howard said he better not say some Ingmar Bergman film.
Howard said he has to take a break or he's not going to last through this COVID thing. He said he has to play a new phony phone call where he plays his mom and dad. He said they called a religious show and had him talking about how he's addicted to drinking cum. He said that will be fun. He said he has to give you Wack Pack Happy Hour too. He said he has to take a break first. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said this guy is the best drummer. It was the drum beat from the Kelly Clarkson song. Howard said her show is coming back so she must be doing well. Robin said her marriage didn't make it through the quarantine. She said they were married like 10 years and then the quarantine killed it. Howard said that he's kind of shocked that her talk show did so well. He said he thinks people should stay in their lane. He said she came from singing and now she has a talk show. Robin said she's today's Dinah Shore.
Robin said Drew Barrymore's talk show is starting today too. Howard said he wishes her luck with that. He said it's hard to do shows now but he wishes her luck. He said that she mentioned him and David Letterman being her idols so that was very nice.
Howard said he likes hot water and he bought this thermos to keep it hot but it doesn't work. Robins said grey have smaller ones that work. She said that they have one that keeps it hot all day. Robin said it's not a plug in. She said it's a carafe. Howard said he doesn't like carafes. He asked if Lars likes a Thermos or a Carafe. Robin said a Thermos.
Howard said this thing is called a S,Well. He said that the water is not hot in it. Robin said she has something that works and she showed it to him. Howard said go get it. Robin said it's in the kitchen. Howard asked how long it would take her to get it. Robin said 30 seconds. Howard asked what the name is. Robin said she can't remember. She ran off to get it.
Howard said you'd think they'd perfect keeping water hot. He said everyone he knows has one of these S,Well things. Howard asked Robin what her thing is called. Robin asked how long it took. Gary said it was 51 seconds. Robin showed it to Howard and he said he would use that. He said he needs something simple. Robin said it's called Vondior. Howard asked if it will work. Robin said she guarantees the water will stay hot. Robin said you just press on this thing and hot water comes out. Howard said he will give this thing one more shot and then he'll try the Vondior.
Howard said the thing Robin brought in is the size of a hot water heater. Robin said you can get one half the size.
In the call Chris Wilding called into this show and said he has a sex addiction and his parents are devastated by it. Then Chris puts Howard as his parents on with the hosts of the show. They were upset about their son messing around with a family member trying to blow the husband. They had clips of Howard doing both voices. Then they had Chris blowing his dad to demonstrate how good he is. The hosts of the show were freaking out about that. They eventually hung up on them. They suggested they go to a psychologist to get worked on.
Robin said they're not even leaving that up to God. They want him to get therapy. Howard did his impression of his dad talking about some of that stuff they were doing in the call.
Robin said the pope has weighed in and said that eating right and good sex are divine. Howard asked why he won't have sex then. Robin said he says that comes right from god and it shouldn't be looked at in a negative way. Robin wondered where they stand on masturbation. Howard said he loves masturbation. He said he was watching some step mom and daughter porn. He said that's pretty much all that comes up on his computer now. He said he watched one the other day and they had this step brother who was holding the camera and asks his step sister to come up. She can't come up because she's with her friend. Howard said this was called something like ''Bratty Step Sister'' or something and she was anything but bratty.
Howard said this step sister comes up to the attic and the girl is wearing super short shorts. He said the girls are almost naked. He said the other girl wasn't wearing a bra. He said that you can see everything. He said the step brother tells them to watch how he recorded them having lesbian sex the day before. He said they freak out on him. He said if they don't blow him and have sex with him he's telling mom and dad. Then he tells them to do stuff in front of him so that's what they do. He said there was nothing bratty about the sister. He said they act like this guy is young but he's like 57 years old.
Howard said the brother videos them again and they let him do it. He said they're not too bright. Robin said he's breaking the law by recording them. Howard said one of the girls had a huge tattoo on her ribs so she didn't look young. He said it ruins the suspension of disbelief. He said that he's just trying to jerk off and he's finding holes in the story.
Howard said you see the guy's cock because he's holding the camera. He said they play with his dick and then he's finished. He said he never saw the ending. He said it's fucked up because the brother isn't to be trusted. He said the tattoo ruined it too. He said that she had half the bible written on her ribs.
Howard said he hates himself for loving these kind of videos but he loves it. Robin said he hasn't switched off for a long tie. Howard said no one is really brother and sister in the videos. He said they're step brothers and sisters. He said it would ruin it if they were brother and sister. He said it has to be step.
Howard asked if the women are turned off to Ronnie coopting the whole thing. Gary said he hasn't seen a woman in there in like 4 months. He said on one hand it's a good way to catch up with Ronnie but it's just a couple of people catching up. He said there are just 3 or 4 guys now. Howard said he heard Happy Hour went on until 2 in the morning last week. He wondered what they talk to Ronnie about for that long. Gary said he has no idea.
Ronnie got on and said that he wasn't on until 2. He said he was out of there early. He asked why they blame him for everything. He asked why he's the one causing the trouble. Howard said he didn't say he was. Ronnie said he did. Gary asked if Ronnie thinks that he's the anchor of the Happy Hour. Ronnie said not at all.
Chris Wilding got on and said Ronnie did leave by 7 but they were playing poker and watching old interviews that Howard had done and things like that. Gary asked if Chris was on the one where they were talking about jerking off and one of the guys can't get off that way and has to watch some music video to get off. He said it was really weird. Ronnie said that was like a month ago.
Robin asked how many people are on. Chris said it varies. He said they used to all get on there but now people aren't quarantining so they're out on Friday night. He said there are some who are still hunkering down so they get on.
Howard played a clip of Ronnie talking about jerking off with his special technique and how he use to be able to hit the wall with his load.
Howard asked if Chris was hard during that. Chris said at times he can get turned on. Howard said he heard Harvey Weinstein wants to get into their Happy Hour. Chris said Ralph gets in on those conversations and he goes to weird places too.
Howard said he was never able to hit the wall with his load. He said he remembers that when he was young it was pretty forceful and it would end up all over the place. Ronnie said he used to hit the wall and he would hit his face at times too.
Howard asked how Ronnie and Mike Fox get along. Ronnie said they talk. He said he still breaks his balls but they talk.
Howard said he heard that Ralph criticizes everyone on Happy Hour. He said that Mike says it's sad. Howard got Mike on to talk about that. Mike said that he doesn't know why people don't like him. Chris said he poked a hornet's nest and he doesn't like being stung.
Mike said they call him retarded on there. Chris said they said he has a big retard cock. He said after a few drinks he'll get very gay and he almost showed his cock to them. Chris said that Mike does this thing where he gets drunk and almost makes out with him. Mike said he just rubs people the wrong way.
Howard said his whole point is that Happy Hour devolves and goes the wrong way. Mike said Ralph is making some food and he talks about how horrible everyone is. He said it might make him a good caller but maybe not a great caller.
Howard said Happy Hour isn't always that fun. He said they did this experiment where they did a Zoom Happy Hour with the Wack Pack. Howard said he had Shuli set up a meeting and he was able to get the following Wack Packers to do this. He said he got Mariann from Brooklyn, High Pitch Erik, Sour Shoes, Medicated Pete, King of All Blacks, Tan Mom, High Register Seany and Jeff the Drunk.
Howard said Shuli was in charge of this. Shuli said this reminded him of the Birthday Bash when he was in charge of everyone at the show. He said that he was in over his head that day. Howard asked where Bobo was in this. Shuli said that Bobo's phone wasn't able to handle Zoom so he wasn't able to do this.
Howard played a clip where High Pitch Erik and Sour sang together when they started this Happy Hour. In the clip Sour was doing his baby voice and saying hi to Erik and then started singing. Erik sang along with him.
Shuli said this was 3 minutes in and no one was hearing him. Howard asked what's going on with him and Erik. Shuli said Erik won't return calls or texts. He said that he's texting Wilding now and saying he doesn't want to talk to him. He said he called and got in touch with him yesterday. He said he would just give him one word answers. He said that he's upset with him for moving to Alabama. Howard said it's already affecting his work. Shuli said his work can't show up at his door during a pandemic now.
Howard said next King of All Blacks came into the Happy Hour and showed off some of his jewelry. He said he also talked about an experience he had with Mariann from Brooklyn. Howard played the clip and King was talking about his $15,000 watch and asking Mariann if she voted for Trump and things like that.
Shuli said when King shows up the Happy Hour goes somewhere. Howard said Erik just made an anti-gay statement in that clip. He said they pretty much know that he's willing to do gay stuff.
Howard said Medicated Pete came in and King stated making fun of him. Howard played the wrong clip where Tan Mom came in. Howard played the Medicated Pete clip. King said he looks like a mushroom or like he's in a fun room mirror. Mariann told him to stop it.
Howard said they call can't be dream boats like King of All Blacks. Shuli said he just came into the room and wasn't there for more than a second and King was goofing on him.
Howard said Tan Mom was the last to arrive. He said she had trouble turning on her video. He said High Register Sean helped her out. Howard played the clip and Tan Mom had trouble turning on her video. Seany told her how to do it.
Shuli said that she was on Facetime at one point and Adam Barta held that up to Zoom. He said they all sent them the link and it was so simple but they still had trouble. Shuli did his impression of Seany and of Tan Mom trying to get that thing to work.
Howard said things took a turn when King of All Blacks said he's on more of an upper level than the rest of them. Howard said he lost the room here. Howard played the clip and King said he was insulted being on with these people. He said he doesn't think he's a better person but he is an upper level than they are. Mariann and Erik said fuck you to him over that. Shuli asked if he thinks he's more entertaining. King said don't insult him with that. Mariann went off on him about those comments.
Howard said feeing superior in a room of Wack Packers isn't a big thing. He said that's not so impressive. Shuli said King thought he'd be in the room with Gary and people like that.
Howard said King called Jeff the Drunk a loser. Shuli said that he showed up 40 minute late to the event. Howard took Jeff's call and asked how he shows up so late. Jeff said it was all about priorities. He said he was baking edibles and he had to finish that. He said he's obviously in the Wack Pack for a reason. Howard hung up on him.
Howard said King called Tan Mom a black woman in this clip. He played the clip and King asked her about what it's like being a black woman in this time. He also called Jeff a loser in that clip when he showed up late. Jeff told him to look in the mirror.
Howard said Jeff has nothing to do all day. He said he sits and hangs out all day. He said the Happy Hour is at a set time so you'd think he'd make his edibles in the morning or something.
Shuli said Mariann was ready to go before he even got there. He said Jeff was high when he made more edibles. Howard said Mariann isn't really a Wack Packer. He said she's got it together. He said she has a wacky voice though. Howard said Mariann is too normal. He took her call and Mariann said she wanted to be so involved and she loved every moment of that. Howard asked if she really felt like he had a boner dancing with her. Mariann said she walked back with him after the K-Rock Rally and he had a boner that he was jabbing her in the back with. She said she's a lady and that wasn't right. She said he was wearing sweat pants and very close to her behind. She said that she felt it when they left and he was behind her and she felt like a broom was poking her. She said she wondered what was going on. She said that was a long time ago back in 2005. Mariann said Howard has just 35 days left there.
Howard said he has to yell at Bobo. He got him on and said he wants to be on the show but he can't get this thing to work. Bobo said he told Shuli that he was getting a new phone at the time. He said he has that phone now and Zoom works. He said Brad can tell them that. Shuli said he told him that he could have mailed it to his house. He said he didn't have to go out to get it. Bobo said that his phone was all backed up with stuff. Howard said he doesn't give a shit. He said he loves that he missed the bit.
Howard said Tan Mom left the Happy Hour and then King said she had a monkey face and Erik tried to defend her. He played the clip and King said that there she goes with the monkey face again. Then Erik said he's one to talk about who a monkey is. King said he knew that would come out eventually. Howard said Erik gets racist at the drop of a hat.
Howard asked why Tan Mom never has a good connection. Shuli did his impression of her screaming across a room and echoing. Howard said it's great that she's like that. Shuli did more of his impression.
Howard said when this was over everyone was trying to say goodbye and they were all talking over each other. Shuli said this lasted about an hour or so and the ending was lasting about as long as the rest of the whole thing. Howard played a clip of everyone saying goodbye and talking over each other. Howard said this is like a slow adult symphony.
Howard asked if it's fair to say that King ran them all out of there. Shuli said absolutely. He said that they just set up fights. Howard said Medicated Pete can't say goodbye. He said he has OCD. He said Sour and Pete stayed on for a while and sang together. He played a clip of them singing ''Come Sail Away.''
Howard said he thinks this is what broke the camel's back and that's why Shuli moved to Alabama. Shuli said Pete and Sour kept singing after that. He said they both love music.
Howard said he can't take phone calls. He said this thing broke. He said good job to Shuli. He said that this is a good place to wrap up. He got in a plug for Gardein.
Howard said hopefully he'll have that Lars game to go. He said he might have to have Jim Breuer play that game. He said a bunch of people there would like to play that. He said Adam Levine will stop by tomorrow. He said Jimmy Kimmel will be on Wednesday. He said he has to talk to Jimmy about what he's up to. He said he's not being that careful during the quarantine. He said he has to get him on to talk about that. He said he's hosting the Emmys and a lot of late night guys are going back to their studios. Robin said they don't have an audience though. Howard said it's like if one goes back they all have to go back. Howard said Jimmy will be with them on Wednesday and Adam tomorrow. He said they have a ton of stuff to get to. He ended the show around 10:35am.
Howard started the show talking about what an exciting show they have today. They had the new mix of The Great American Nightmare with the John Bonham drums playing in it. Robin asked if they slowed down Rob Zombie to put this together. Howard said it has a different vibe and he likes it.
Howard said he has a song stuck in his head from yesterday. He sang some of what he had stuck in there. He said it's driving him crazy. Robin started singing it too. She asked where that was being played. Howard said it was on a channel he was listening to. He played the song and said he doesn't know the words other than a couple. It was the song ''We Are Young'' by Fun. Howard said it's not fun having it stuck in his head.
Howard said this is the part that's stuck in his head. He sang the ''Tonight we are young'' part over and over. He said he's not afraid to emote. He said he's a real man.
Howard said Robin is busy looking at dick pics online and he's busy singing. Robin said this is a nice look for him with that shirt. Howard said Beth said that to him too. He said he was just wearing another dopey shirt. He said Beth said he's switched seasons by wearing that shirt. He said there used to be some racket out there that would get women to buy clothing. He said women would wear clothing based on the seasons. Robin said he's gone from summer to fall with this shirt. Howard said she thought he did that instinctively but he just put on a shirt.
Howard said he's excited about the opening of the show today. He said yesterday they got into this thing about John Bonham and all of that. He said he talked about why he thinks he's the best drummer. He said after that they were talking about Neil Peart and how some people think he's the best drummer. Howard said it's ridiculous to argue about. He said this guy Joe called in and they ended up talking about Lars from Metallica and how he'd know the answer. He said he knows Lars will say it's John Bonham. He said it would be very unusual to hear him say that Neil Peart is the best drummer. He said he doesn't want to hear bullshit answers about him being in a better band and Neil is technically better.
Howard said Lars is going to join them in a few minutes so they can play this game. He got Joe back on the phone to play the game. Joe said it was his idea to get Lars on the phone. Howard said he'll give him credit for that then. He said he has a $100 bet going with Joe over this. He said Lars knows how to party. He said he's telling you that if he says that Neil Peart is a better drummer he's going to lose his mind. He said he'll certainly throw him out of there.
Howard said Gary called Lars last night and he said he'd stay up all night to play this game. He said that Gary lined up about 10 questions they can play the game with. He said he was thinking about Jose Mangin and how he would think he knows what Lars would say. Gary said he's on his way in. Howard had him on the line to play. Howard said hi to Jose and asked where he is. Jose said he's on Costa Mesa, California. Howard asked if he's married to Madison. Jose said that's Geronimo. He said he's been married to Melissa for 19 years. He said she runs Orange County's Victoria's Secret and Pink stores. He said he thinks Howard has met her. He said they sat next to him at the Metallica Apollo gig. Howard said that's right. He said he didn't offer her up to him like many of the employees do there. Jose said he thinks she loves Howard and she knows how much he loves him. He said she would go on a date with Howard.
Howard said Jose runs the metal channels there. He said he thinks he'll know what Lars will say. Robin asked what he thinks Lars is going to say about the best drummer. Jose said he knows what they're talking about. Howard asked who he thinks is the best drummer. Jose said he had this conversation with some friends yesterday. He said that Neil had a bigger influence on metal music. He said that he thinks Lars will say Bonham. Howard said of course he will, he's a man.
Jose said that Neil was a hero to many of the metal guys though. Howard asked if Rush is heavy metal. Jose said under the umbrella of rock he is. Howard said he thinks that Rush is soulless and Lars will say that too. Jose said there's no way Lars would say that. Howard said Lars will say that and he will talk about the groove of Bonham's drumming. Jose said he thinks he'll go with Bonham. He said that Zeppelin and AC/DC are the best bands ever.
Joe asked Jose about Black Sabbath. Jose said they are the father's of metal but with the rock umbrella he would put the money on AC/DC and Led Zeppelin.
Jose said he wants to say that it's his 20th anniversary with SiriusXM on Sunday. He said not many people have been there that long. He said he has to thank Howard for being there because they've done so well over the years. He said he cried when Howard came there. Howard said he called him a big pussy when he told him he cried. Jose said he is a passionate man and he has to tell him that he changed everything when he came there. He said he's had his dream job for 20 years and he wouldn't be there if Howard hadn't come there. Howard said no one cares. He said he loves him but calm down.
Howard said before Jose came there he was studying to be a pharmacist. Jose said that's right. He said he would never be there today if he hadn't gone to school for that. Howard said no one cares. Robin said he has a lot to say. Gary said he knows Jose is taking up a lot of the air but Lars is ready.
Howard said he has Lars on the line and they had a theme for the game. They were calking it ''What Does Lars Like Better'' in the intro. Howard told Lars what was going on with Joe and all of that from yesterday's show. Howard said they have to find out what Lars thinks about all of this. Robin said they have to let Lars say good morning. Lars said it was fun a few weeks ago. Howard said he's such a man for staying up all night. Howard was doing his Lars impression. Lars said Jim Breuer has that voice nailed.
Howard said Lars said he would come on and play the game and he stayed up all night to do it. Howard asked what he did all night. Lars said Gary and his gang were talking about that last night and he and his wife had a nice night. Howard said that wife of his is some hot commodity. He said he would be up with his wife too. He said he had the honor of going to dinner with him and his wife and he didn't hear a word Lars said. Lars said Beth and Jess were yakking away and having a good time. He said he and Howard were trying to keep up.
Howard said Lars said he watched a movie. Lars said that grey watched Broadway Danny Rose. He had his wife Jess there reminding him of what it was. Lars said they got into this Woody Allen kick a few weeks ago. He said they watched a bunch of his movies over the past couple of weeks. He said what blows his mind is how he spit out 52 movies over 45 years. He said that they're struggling making albums every few years. He said imagine writing, directing, starring in and promoting a movie every 12 months.
Howard said he has a theory about how Woody can do that. He said that he didn't give a shit what the audience felt so he was unencumbered with that voice in his head that tells him not to do something. He said he doesn't think the guy gives a fuck what the audience thinks.
Lars said he was looking into it and he read that making films was therapeutic and it kept him busy all the time. He said he stopped sitting and pondering why we were here and things like that. He said it kept him from falling into those traps.
Howard said he's starting to think that Lars is so cerebral that he's wondering if he can go against John Bonham. He said he's nervous about his answer now.
Lars asked Howard to set this up for him. Howard said he got into this thesis about John Bonham yesterday. He said he thought that they should remember him and why Led Zeppelin broke up. He said he created some serious music. He said he played the drum part from ''When the Levee Breaks.'' He said the song became magical when he played drums on that song. He said he argued that he was the best drummer of all time. He said that Joe called in and said that he thinks Neil Peart is the best. Joe said he thinks Lars is the greatest actually. Howard said Joe called in and said that it was Neil Peart. He said that music is soulless. He said he wanted to ask Lars because he'd know. He said he and Joe argued about it and bet on Lars' answer. He said he had an idiotic idea to get Jose involved too. He said this is going to be exciting to get his answers. He said they love Metallica on this show.
Howard said he has to give him a plug. He said their new box set S&M2 is out. He said his agent even loved their performance on the show. Lars said it was kind of daunting to get in there so early in the morning but it was like hanging out with their best friends when they did. He said it was so much fun. Howard said it really was such a good time. He said it was great hearing them telling their stories and all of that. He said they had a magical bonding that morning. He said it really was great to hear them like that.
Lars said that they have to fill in parts of the story because they only remember bits and pieces of the story but together they have the full story.
Howard said James used to intimidate him but he really is a good guy. He said Kirk is really funny too. He said James is delightful. Lars said they love Howard and James is so comfortable doing the show now that they love hanging. He said it's really comfortable and so fun. He said it's like hanging out with your best friends.
Lars said that was the first time they were together in public for the first time in a year or so. He said it was really something special. He said they had an underlying emotional element there. He said they had the fans hearing them play for the first time in so long. He said the whole thing had such a good vibe. Howard said they weren't in the same studio and it still sounded great. Lars said they did it in a room together that has good vibes and it's dialed to them. He said that's why it all worked.
Howard said watching them playing and being so good is triumphant. He said to play that long together and being able to play so well is phenomenal. He said that the best part of the interview was this guy Avi go gets their food orders. Lars said he sends him a text every week just thanking him for getting him on. He said that he's been there the better part of 10 years. Howard said he's an intern there. Lars said he's not sure if he's really an intern. He said back in early March they didn't know what was coming and they figured they'd be out touring in April and May. He said Avi came into the jam room there and played with him a few times a week. He said he can finagle himself through about a dozen Metallica songs. He said he's done that a few times. He said if Kirk or James aren't there he can play a mean Metallica song and do the vocals as well as get the food. He said he was the unsung hero of the whole thing. He said that Avi is ready to go if something happens to James.
Howard said most bands don't make it. He said they've been around for 40 years. Lars said it's amazing they can still play and have a good time together. He said they enjoy being with each other. He said it still feels like the gang of 20 year olds trying to figure it all out. He said it's like being with your best pals. He said they all have their lives away from each other but they get back together and it's a crazy, cool thing. He said it means a lot to the fans who can connect to the Metallica music.
Howard said he told Paul McCartney that he was in love with John Lennon and he got uncomfortable with that. He said that he said the same thing about James and Lars. Lars said fuck yeah. He said that he's in awe of James. He said there's a lot of youthful energy there. He said that you sit there and think about how great it is that you can play with James. He said it's the same with Kirk and Rob. He said he never used to think that but they are his heroes.
Howard asked why men get so uptight when you say stuff like that. He said you can love another man but that doesn't mean you're sucking his dick. Lars said he loves James, Kirk and Rob. He said he's comfortable saying that. He said he can even say that he's in love with them. He said it's incredible being able to be in a band with them.
Howard said he has to start the theme music for this game. He played that and started the game with Lars. He said he wants to say that he's in love with Fred but it's mostly physical. He said they'll talk about that later.
Howard said he has Joe from New Jersey on the phone. Robin said she wants to know who the better drummer is. Howard said only Lars knows the answer. Howard said he has studied drumming and he knows. He said that he is considered a rock god if you will. He said Jose says that Lars will say John Bonham. He said Lars won't give a bullshit answer. He said Joe says Neil and Robin says John Bonham. Howard turned the microphone over to Lars from Metallica to give his answer. Howard asked who he thinks is the greatest drummer of all time. Lars said he's been asked that for 40 years. He said that it's hard to edit himself. Howard asked if two choices are enough. He said there are many others that they could throw in there. Howard asked if they are right to compare those two or is there more. Lars said he's going to try to edit this down to a reasonable length. He said he would put two other names in there if they're talking about rock drummers. He said he'll say Ian Pace from Deep Purple is one. He said they were at the same level as those other guys. He said he went to a concert when he was 9 and that was a Deep Purple concert. He said that Ian Pace for him was the rock god drummer. He said the other name he'd put on that list is Phil Rudd from AC/DC. He said he is hands down the man who makes the song swing. He said it's all his swing. He said where he puts the pocket and back beat is what gives AC/DC that bounce and swing. He said he'd put them up there if you're going to quantify the conversation.
Howard said Bonham had a soul in his playing. Lars said that ''When the Levee Breaks'' is classic Bonham. He said that it's something special. He said the one thing he had more than Ian and Neil is the weight he had when he played. They played ''When the Levee Breaks'' and Lars talked about how great that was. Howard said he made the whole song. Robin said it's melodic. Lars said he has that pocket. Howard said he likes where he's going in this. Lars asked if he wants him to spit it out. Robin said maybe they want to hear his opinion of Neil.
Lars said you can't have a drum conversation without bringing Neil up. He said he has done a lot for the community. He said he met Neil in 1984 over the phone. He said they had just signed with their record label. He said that their manager had signed Rush back in the 70s and he knew them. He said he had some questions about drums and he put him in touch with Neil. He said at the time he was blown away but that. He said he was 20 years old and he was going to talk to Neil Peart. He said he was so intimidated by that. He said he was awestruck by it. He said they were huge at the time and Neil was like a rock god. He said they spoke for 35-40 minutes about drums. He said that Neil was a Tama player and they showed up to him a few weeks later. He said that Neil was a little more progressive and more challenging but you can't play drums and not love Neil. He said that you can't not be respectful. Howard said ''Uh oh...'' He said he didn't know Lars was getting drum lessons from Neil on the phone. Howard said there goes his $100.
Lars said if this is the big drum roll thing. Howard had Fred play a drum roll. Lars said between Neil and John he'd have to go with John Bonham. Howard said he knew it. He said Joe has to give his $100 to his charity. Lars said that he has to say that it's hard to put him in a position like that. He said that Howard is right about When the Levee Breaks and songs like that. He said that's the blueprint for what he's trying to bring to Metallica songs. He said between those two guys he has to go with Bonham.
Howard said they thought it would be fun to have some other questions for him. He said Joe can play too. He said Gary is going to take over so he can play too. He said they're all going to play.
Howard had Gary take over and ask the questions. Gary said that they asked Lars a series of questions last night. He said he has two choices. He said they asked if he likes a dog or a cat better. Howard said he's going to ask Robin to answer first. Robin said she'll say he's a dog man. Howard asked Jose what he says. Jose said he'll say that he's going to say he's a cat dude. Howard asked Joe what he thinks. Joe said he's going with cat like Jose said. Howard said he's going to say he's going to say that he's so masculine that he's going to say cat. He said he can see Lars petting multiple cats. He said the entire nation is debating the answer now. He asked Lars to give them the answer. Lars said the answer is ''cats.'' Lars said in their house they have four cats and they're all rescue cats. He said they have a blind cat too. He said they were talking about the cats earlier and this cat Beth and Howard were fostering called Cocoa Puff. He said that was his favorite cat. He said Jess would show him the cat and he loved that cat. Howard said he remembers talking about that. He said Jess wanted to get into animal rescue. Lars said she actually is involved. He said they were talking about Cocoa Puff earlier.
Howard said they have a blind cat and they're the best. He said if you can help a cat like that it's great. Howard said they just got a 14 year old cat that the family was going to get rid of. He said it's fucking crazy that people do that.
Howard said speaking of the bay area the whole place is on fire. Lars said it's been a crazy couple of weeks. He said that the air quality index hovers between 180 and 200 every day. He said you can't even open the windows. He said they're in the city and they have a back yard but they have no one coming over anymore out there. He said in San Francisco it was getting hot there. He said it never gets that hot there. He said they don't have air conditioning there. He said the one day they needed it they weren't even able to open the windows. He said it's crazy zombie apocalypse meltdown time.
Lars said they woke up one morning and it was dark out until noon or 1 in the afternoon from the smoke and fog. He said it's just crazy.
Howard said his daughter lives in that area and he's worried sick. He said she has her windows shut and they can't go outside. He said it's crazy that the President just said ''Don't worry, it'll get cooler.'' He said there's a real anti-science thing going on out there. He said this is global warming and we have to do something about it. Lars said they love it out there but it's challenging to be there right now. He said his heart goes out to all of the states out on the West Coast and even the states where the smoke is drifting to. Howard said he had Jane Fonda on the other day talking about her book and it's a chilling read. He said it'll wake you up in a big way.
Howard got back to the game and asked Gary to read the next question. Gary said they asked Lars what his favorite condiment is, mustard or ketchup. Howard said he has a story about this. He said Jimmy Fallon can look at you and tell you if you're a mustard or ketchup person. He said he's seen him do this many times and he's always right. Howard said he had him over to dinner and he told a guy who walked in that he was a mustard guy and he was right. He said he's got to look at Lars and figure this one out. He went to Joe first. Joe said he's going with mustard because he's a Dane. Lars said he's not sure what that means but he likes that. Howard said he thinks he's going with Joe on this. He said Ketchup is disgusting and full of sugar. He said Lars has to be healthy so he thinks that he's going to say mustard. Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said mustard too. Howard asked Jose what he thinks. Lars asked if Jose has shared what he does to warm up. Jose said he impersonates James from Metallica. He did some of that for Howard. Lars said they did an interview with him a few weeks ago and he threw a few of those in during each break. Howard had Jose do that again. He thought that was great. Howard said Fred does that before he moves his bowels.
Howard asked Jose what he thinks. Jose said he's going with mustard. He said he's thinking it's the fancy mustard too. Howard said he might be on to something there. Howard asked Lars for his answer. Lars said the answer is everyone is right. He said he likes mustard. He said he thinks grey have to give props to Jose because he is more of a Grey Poupon type of mustard guy.
Howard asked Gary what he has next. Gary said they asked who his favorite super hero is. He said they had Green Lantern or the Flash. Howard said he thinks that there are too many Green Lanterns. He said that the Flash does one thing and does it well. He said he thinks that Lars might say it's The Flash. He said he'll go with that. Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said she thinks that it's the Flash too. Howard asked Jose what he thinks. Jose said he's going with Flash too. He said if it was Kirk he'd say Green Lantern but he's saying The Flash. Howard asked Joe. Joe said the same. Howard said everyone says The Flash. Howard asked Lars what he says. Lars said they're all on it and it is The Flash. He said he has always loved running since he was a kid. He said he loves being outside and running away. He said it's peaceful and you can get into nature and all of that. He said running is his favorite thing to do. He said the other thing he'll say is that when he was reading stories to his kids there was a book called The Flash and that was their favorite story.
Howard said Lars will know that The Flash raced Superman and Flash beat him by a millisecond. Howard said the Green Lantern is a hassle.
Howard said one last question. He said they're all tied up right now. Lars asked Gary to ask the one they spent a lot of time talking about. Gary said they can do that. Howard said during this game he's heard from 7 networks who want to buy this game. Lars said the five of them doing it together would be great. Howard said it's going to be very big. He said he has Ted Sarandos from Netflix on the line right now. He did his impression of Ted talking about that.
Gary said they asked Lars who his favorite comedian is. He said they gave him Sam Kinison and Bobcat Goldthwait. Howard said he thinks that Bobcat is a rock guy and he lives out that way. He said he was very close to Kurt Cobain so he can see him being close to Lars. Howard said Sam was a great guy and he was a rock guy too. He said he loved musicians too. He said Bobcat was great too. He said he was in the Police Academy movies and Lars would love that. He said that he can't imagine if he was his friend and if he would go against him if he really liked Kinison. Howard said Lars is a deep guy. Lars said he's loving this. Howard said he's thinking that he'd love Sam's attitude. He said Bobcat has great material too though. He said he has to say that Lars will say that it's Sam Kinison. Howard said he has to go with that. Howard asked Robin. Robin said she thinks that he's mentioned Kinison this morning without naming him. She said she's going with Kinison too. Lars said this is better than sleeping any day of the week. Howard asked Jose what he thinks. Jose said he's going to say that he thinks that it's Sam Kinison. He said he thinks he's talked about it before so he's going with Kinison. Howard asked Joe what he thinks. Joe said he's going to go with Kinison too. Howard said this is a controversial question. He said Bobcat is Jewish and the Danes were good to them so they could go in that direction.
Howard asked Lars what his answer is. Lars said that they have to hold off with the drum roll for a second. He said they have to take a Bonham and Neil Peart direction on this. He said Howard is right about Bobcat. He said he used to do a show out there in the Bay area. He said that Alex Bennett did a show out there and he had Bobcat on all the time in 84 and 85. He said he and James would hang out with Bobcat. He said he was great. He said that's when he was doing the screaming character. He said he got more PC years later. He said Kinison was about a year later and they saw him on Dangerfield's young comedians special. He said that they loved that bit he did about the starving people and all of that. He said no one had ever seen anyone with that kind of attitude and energy. He said no one had seen that shit before. He said that Sam became involved in music and all of that. Howard asked if they got to know him at all. Lars said he was around a little bit. He said he was around him in 88 or 89. He said he was hanging around with the Guns N Roses guys. He said he was difficult to get close to so he didn't get to hang with him one on one. He said it was always in party mode. He said he was more blitzed than anyone else in the room. He said his comedy was very smart but then he started to belittle people. He said that he can get the drum roll now. He said that he can guess where this is going. He said that his favorite was Sam Kinison. Lars said that Gary told him some funny Sam stories when they talked about this last night. He said he remembers listening to those shows when Sam would call in. He said he and Gary were reminiscing about that.
Gary said he's going to send him the Kinison and Bobcat phone call. Howard said that was something. He said that Sam thought Bobcat was stealing his character. He said that's what the argument was about.
Howard got fake Bobcat on the line and had him asking Lars what he's doing picking Sam over him. Howard said that's not really Bobcat. Lars said at one point he thought that might be him.
Howard said that he mentioned Guns N Roses and they toured with them for a while. Howard said that they used to make Metallica wait to go on because they always did their show late. Lars said they co-headlined and they would each play 2 and a half hours. He said they went 50/50 on everything. He said that someone had to go on before. He said they had Motorhead and Faith No More open. He said they were happy to go on earlier in the evening if they wanted. He said that they were happy to watch Guns N Roses play.
Howard said the guys just did their thing and Guns was a different way of looking at rock. He said it was a classic blunder to follow Metallica. He said that it was crazy that they allowed that. Robin said that's a lot of time in music. Lars said it was a long night. He said that he hopes it was special for the fans. He said it was about 7-8 hours total. He said the reason that tour happened was because they had befriended them. He said they went on tour because they were pals. He said there was too much rivalry going on in the press. He said at the heart of it they respected each other and liked each other. He said they wanted to spend the summer together. He said it was one of the most fun summers they had ever had. He said that Guns was much edgier than they were. He said they wore Metallica shirts at the time so it was a mutual thing. He said that the Guns guys were cooler than the bands they got lumped in with.
Howard said they could go on with this game all day. He said this was supposed to be 10 minutes of his time. Lars said he would love to do this anytime. Howard told him to stay in his house and stay safe out there. He gave Lars some plugs for the S&M2 album. He said go to Metallica.com for more information.
Howard said that Joe lost his $100. Howard thanked everyone for playing the game. Jose said that he should come out as the winner because he had the Grey Poupon answer. Lars said they all win by spending this hour together. Howard said he can end this game by saying ''Shut up Jose.''
Jose said that Metallica is one of 3 bands to have a top 10 album in each of the last 5 decades. He said Ozzy and James Taylor are the others. Howard asked if he's Casey Kasem now.
Gary said this is a toned down Jose by the way. Howard said Jose was busy holding up signs and stuff during the game. Jose said that was their album. Howard said it's going to be a long time before Jose is back on the show. Jose said he loves him. Howard thanked Lars for doing the show. Howard wrapped up and took a break.
Howard said that was a fun segment they just had. He said that this turned out to be a very musical morning. He said Adam Levine is coming on and he was their first guest after the quarantine started. He said that he admires Adam for that Purple Rain performance he did at the birthday show. He said that they have that up on the app and on YouTube. He said that he's technically great as a guitar player. He said no one knew that. The guys played some of that Purple Rain performance. Howard said that's one of his favorite moments from the birthday show. Howard said he's not sure why he doesn't play more guitar when he's with Maroon 5. Robin said ask him.
Howard said Adam's band has sold more than 120 million records. He said that's pretty amazing. Robin said especially during this day and age. Howard said when they were out in L.A. they did some shows and Adam came by to do that. He said he had just written the song ''Memories.'' He played some of that. Robin said that song makes her cry inside.
Howard said he sees Adam up on his screen. Adam said he's enjoying this adoration. Howard asked why he's echoing. He said he can hear it in his headphones. Robin said she can't hear it. Howard said he'll carry on then.
Howard said Adam has a different hairdo every time he sees him. Adam said now he hears someone talking over him. Howard said he thought that was him. He asked Adam if he's in L.A. Adam said he's in the Hamptons actually. He said they dodged a bullet with the fires. He said it's sad what's going on out there. Howard said Adam texted him the other day that he wanted to come say hi. He said he asked if he was high. Howard said he doesn't have any visitors. He said he would love to have him over but he's not taking any risks. He asked why he would even suggest that. Adam said he thinks it just felt good to say. He said he knew it wasn't going to happen.
Robin asked if he was testing him. Adam said he's actually worse than Howard is. Howard said he's afraid to get COVID so he can't have anyone over. Adam said he gets not wanting to hang out with him. He said that he doesn't get the friends who get upset when you don't want to hang out. Howard said he has friends who have parties with 35 people. Adam said no way to that. Howard said he's not going to get COVID. He said he doesn't want to be fucked up for 5 or 6 months.
Adam said he would rather be the person who was too cautious. He said there's no reason not to be. He said he wouldn't want to have regrets in the other direction.
Howard asked Adam if he's recording with the guys in different rooms or something. Adam said they are. He said that they had started writing music and they are more sophisticated now the way they're doing things. He said it's all kind of flowing now. He said they're working on the new record and it's cool to have zero distractions now. He said he's concentrating on all of this.
Howard asked how things are working. Adam said they quarantined with a few people. He said he has a producer there with him and he's helping to get things done. He said they have a big house and it's kind of a commune vibe going on now. He said that he knows Howard thinking about that gives him anxiety but they did it really well and methodically. He said it's been nice. He said that it feels kind of normal. Howard asked if they leave the house. Adam said no one is going anywhere. He said that they have it all locked down. He said the way it works there is that if they go somewhere they know what's going on and they all check in with each other. Howard said he gets it if you have to go to work. He said if you can work from home then work there and don't leave.
Adam said they had to figure out how to maintain everyone without going on the road. He said they employ a lot of people and it's nice to be able to help everyone out without going anywhere.
Howard said he has to explain what's going on with his hair. He said he had it shaved and a beard going on a while back and then he had a Mohawk. He said he figured he went bald and kept changing it up. He said now he has a full head of hair that's dyed platinum. Adam said that he had a beard that was too hot so he had to shave that off. He said it got gross and he panicked and took that off and grew his hair back. He said he wanted to grow it out but he can't stand how it looks grown out so that's why he cuts it. He said Howard's hair is something he has to deal with. He said he dyed his hair the way he did because he wanted it to look different. He said he'll see how that goes.
Howard asked if his wife Behati has any input into the look. Adam said of course. He said she didn't complain about the beard but the kids were getting grossed out by it. He said they knew he had to do something about his situation. Howard said it drives him crazy when someone shaves their head when they have a full head of hair. He said it's almost criminal to shave off a good head of hair. Adam said he likes doing that because that's the move when you've lost your hair. He said it's great to just shave the shit out of it. He said then you grow it back and people hate you for having a full head of hair.
Howard asked if he has gotten any new tattoos during quarantine. Adam said not since quarantine started. He said he went out before then an got one. Howard asked if he's ever going to do the face tattoo. Adam said he can't imagine he would.
Howard said it would be nice to hang out with him but he's not sure how. Adam said he's sure they could figure it out. He said they're 5 minutes away and grey could be outside and hanging out on the beach. Howard said he's afraid. Robin said that he has to tell him that he had Beth get tested after they had a hair cut together. Howard told the story about how Toni cut their hair and they both got it done by the same person but Beth was with Toni longer so he had Beth get tested. Adam said that's a little crazy.
Adam said he gets it when you know where someone is going but it's different when you don't know. He said he knows there's going to be some PTSD that comes out of this whole thing.
Howard asked Adam about putting out this single ahead of time before the album is ready. Adam said the music industry is a disaster right now. He said albums don't have the same power they used to have. He said the concept of an album isn't the same as it was. He said that they consume music over Spotify. He said if you fuck with iTunes you're old. He said that it's Tik Tok and Spotify now. He said he's not sure what Tik Tok is. He said he just wants to put out his best stuff. He said because of that you have all of these ways to put out music. He said the album thing isn't so important now. He said he hasn't looked at an album chart in 10 years now. Howard said it is an archaic way of putting music out now.
Howard said music artists now have a tough time getting all of this stuff done. He said it's different. Adam said The Beatles changed all of that. He said it used to be a singles thing and then it was albums. He said now it's singles. He said that we're back to the 50s again if you look at it that way.
Howard said ''Nobody's Love'' is the new single and it sounds good to him. He asked if he wrote it during quarantine. Adam said he did. He told Howard about working with Mutt Lange and how he taught him to write a song by not using a great chorus but a great verse. Howard said that's a great way to do it. Adam said sometimes it works. He said they had about 100 people write this song together. He said sometimes that happens too. He said he loves that though.
Adam said when he wrote with Mutt Lange he remembers that he wanted to write on everything but he didn't want him to. He said that was a big problem. He said Mutt didn't write anything and it was a strained thing. He said he kind of strangled the process himself. He said he learned from that and you learn with age.
Howard said he gets douche chills when he thinks about how he sat down with Lorne Michaels and told him he didn't want his writers and that he'd use Jackie and Fred do write everything for him when he appeared on the show. Adam said that's pretty bad. Howard said that's the same as Adam telling Mutt Lange not to write for him. Adam said okay but Mutt was a little past his prime. He said when Howard did that Lorne was probably in his heyday. Howard said he can't believe he did that. He said he was a fucking moron back then. Adam said he was different back then.
Howard asked what that guitar is he's holding today. Adam said it's a Jimmy Page Les Paul. He said Jimmy modded out his Les Paul and made it sound different with the pickups. Howard said he did see Jimmy interviewed about that. He said that's fascinating to him. Adam said years later Gibson did a release of Jimmy Page Les Paul guitars. He said you can make it sound more ''Stratty.'' He said that you flip a switch and it's like a Zeppelin switch. He said it has a unique sound. Howard said he always thought Gibson guitars had a unique sound. He said it's so brilliant that Jimmy did that to make it sound more like a Stratocaster.
Howard said he likes that move where you get a guitar handed to you on stage. He asked why Jimmy wouldn't just switch to a Stratocaster. Adam said he's not sure but he was a hands on guitar player. He said he ''is'' a hands on guy. He said he can see why he'd want to just have the guitar ready. He said people are crazy about their guitars. He said it's a whole thing.
Howard asked if he has ever met Jimmy. Adam said they have met. He said he's a sweet guy. Howard asked what he said to him. Adam did a nerdy voice. He said he likes to stay far away from his legends. He said he prefers not to get involved. Howard asked if he's afraid Jimmy would be a tool. Adam said not at all.
Howard said Chris Cornell said that he thought that the song ''Thank You'' was kind of an overlooked song on that album. He said that songs got lost because there were so many good ones.
Adam said he's sure that the last thing people want to hear is how big a fan you are. He said he's met people and he has told them that he's going to pretend that he's their peer. He said people are just people. He said Howard knows that. He said he needs out on people.
Howard said he was talking to Lars earlier and he was saying that Neil Peart took his call when he was starting out and he talked to him about drums. He said Neil was huge at that point. He said he imagines that it would be great if Adam could ask someone about song writing or something. Adam said yeah. He said before he does Howard's show he panics. He said last night he was freaking out not knowing what he was going to do today. He said he had songs to play and sent him a note about that. He said he realized that he had this Bill Withers song and he cried when he passed. He said he had this incredible connection with Bill. He said he was in the studio with him about 12 years ago. Howard asked if he was already a fan. Adam said he was. Howard said Bill was a guy who was an airline mechanic and writing songs. He said he didn't give up that job after he wrote his first song. He said that he had hit songs and he was still fixing planes.
Howard asked how he knew Bill. Adam said when he was like 18 and 19 he was getting into all kinds of music. He said when he was writing a an album he asked Bill to come in and they ended up talking for hours and hours. He said he gave him great advice when he felt like he really needed it. He said the band was already pretty successful. He said that was when he was in his mid-20s. He said he was the right person at the right time in his life. He said they didn't talk about specific things but they rapped forever. He said he never got to see him again after that. He said he was such a special person. He said he just got to him. He said he was a salt of the Earth kind of human being. Howard said that's what Lars was talking about with Neil Peart.
Howard asked if he's going to play a Bill Withers song. Adam said that's the plan. Howard said he used to prepare for interviews when he did Letterman and things like that. He said he hates those old interviews. He said he was kind of just throwing out one liners and things like that. Adam said that things can be very pre-interview heavy and he doesn't fault that but that's why Howard's show is so great. He said they're real conversations. He said he has no clue what they're going to talk about other than a couple of small details.
Howard said last night he knew he was going to talk to Adam and he was watching some of his old videos. He said he did that thing with Kelly Preston who just died. He said that she was a good actress. He said it was the freakiest video he's ever seen. He said he did an on screen kiss with Kelly Preston. He said that he'd pop a boner if he did that. He said he thinks the video was twisted. Adam said that came out of his twisted mind with Sophie Muller who is a great director. Howard said in the video she's married to an old dude and Adam is a young good looking guy and he starts dating her daughter. Adam said music videos don't make sense. He said that you can't tell a story in 3 minutes. He said he is dating the daughter but that's first. He said then he falls for Kelly Preston's character. Howard said if he was a young Adam Levine he'd want to make out with her too so he'd write the video just for that. Adam said that's what happened. He said they had Diane Lane and Kelly Preston as their top two. He said those were his ladies. Robin said it was his wish list. Adam said it was. Howard said Kelly looked so good in that video. Adam said she does.
Howard asked if they had to ask her to do this. Adam said he still can't believe that she passed away. He said that he remembers beating off to her back in the day. He said there's a great scene in Twins that every boy did that to. He said he was in the room with her and she was cool. He said the funny thing that happened was that he had no idea what he was doing. He said he doesn't know how to act. He said they did the kiss and he just kisses her. He said he didn't do a movie kiss. He said he gave her a real French kiss. He said she was like ''Whoa! Whoa, whoa...'' He said she told him you don't use the tongue. Howard said he must have felt like such a douche. Adam said yes and no. He said he did get to kiss her for half a second before she freaked out.
Howard asked if he ever saw her again or was that it. Adam said he never got to see her. He said it was an isolated beautiful experience. He said he never got to speak with her about it again. He said life goes on and you never cross paths again. He said he was so sad to hear the news about her dying.
Howard said there was a line in the song about having you so many times but you want more. Adam said he wrote every line in that song. Howard said he was laying in bed with Beth and told her that was a very romantic thing to say. He said Beth thought so too. He said that he told her where that lyric came from. He said he kind of gave Adam credit for it. He said that's a great line to say to a woman. Adam said people say that you should write how you talk. He said there's no way you can write like that forever. He said there are bits and pieces that come out. He said when you're young and in love and writing about it in the most impactful way there is so much involved in it that you can't recreate it all the time. He said it's just not fucking possible. He said he has no problem knowing that was his best work. He said some people chase that and maybe he is a bit. He said you can't always recreate those moments. He said he's glad he did have them and he loves what he does every day but there are some lines he wrote that he isn't doing again. He said they don't happen often.
Howard asked if there's an energy you have when you're young. Adam said it's survival. Howard asked if he wrote that about a certain woman he was seeing at the time. Adam said it was a subconscious spat. He said when you write songs you have to let go of whatever you want to achieve. He said that line was probably about 10 different things. He said it was like an explosion of passion. He said if you let yourself express things the craziest things happen. Howard played that song ''She Will Be Loved'' where Adam sings that line. Adam said he didn't know what he had done until after he had done it but listen to this. He played ''King of Pain'' and it was similar to ''She Will Be Loved.'' He sang both for Howard and Robin. He said it's not really a rip off but maybe a tribute to the song. Howard said it's hard not to do that if a song is impactful to you.
Howard asked Adam to play the Bill Withers song. Adam went into ''Ain't No Sunshine'' right after that.
After the song Howard said nice job. Adam said he misses Bill. Robin said she remembers the first time she heard that song and how that ''I know, I know...'' is what goes through your head when you've made a mistake. Adam said that Bill was incapable of making things up. He said everything he did was honest and pure. He said music doesn't get more pure than a Bill Withers song. He said that he has a song called Grandma's Hands that was incredible. He said he just did the song and it was simple, pure and real. Howard said Steven Stills played guitar on that song he thinks. Adam said that doesn't surprise him.
Howard said that Jimmy Page guitar sounded great. Adam played more on it for him. He showed Howard how it works and how you change the sound. He played some Zeppelin for him. Howard said that sounds great. Howard asked if he can play almost every Zeppelin riff. Adam said he can. He said he's forgotten a lot of them. He played a few more that he did know. He played a lot of ''Over the Hills and Far Away.'' Howard said he has tried to play that. He asked if you just have to do it over and over again. Adam said you do and just think about the 10,000 hours thing. He said he had a guitar teacher who asked him what he wanted to learn. He said he'd let him learn that song. He said it's not that easy to do. He said once you play what you love it makes it easier to play guitar. He said if you learn what you love you'll get good at it. Howard said his problem with guitar lessons is that the teacher will teach you how to play what they want you to. He said if he has to learn Hendrix or Zeppelin he'd be interested. Adam said he loved guitar and he had this guy coming in to teach him sick shit. He said he'd learn whatever he wanted. He said if he wanted to learn Guns N Roses he'd learn that. He said he fell in love with music in the late 80s so there were bands like that out there. He said crazy stuff was happening with music back then.
Howard asked if Slash is a great guitar player. Adam said fuck yeah. He said his stuff is hard to play. He said it's a whole other conversation. He said Slash is one of his favorite guitar players ever. He said he was one of the best writers and players. He said you can't just mimic what he played. He said he has so much feel. He said you can't just play Sweet Child like he did. He said you sound like a dick if you try to play it. He said it's a hard riff to play. Howard asked him to play it but Adam said he can't do it. He did attempt it. He said he can barely play it but Slash is able to do this thing that's really hard. He said you can't do it unless you do it like him. He said you just can't do it like he can. He said it's musically sophisticated. Howard said he's seen Slash play it and he does a warm up that's similar to that. He said he warms up to that riff. He said you don't realize that he had to really work on that song. Adam said he was so good because he came around at the time that guitar players were douchy. He said everyone wanted to be Eddie Van Halen but they weren't able to. He said Slash came around and he was really soulful and all of that. He said he was so much more awesome than other players. Howard said not many people can pull off a top hat. Adam said he'd be okay with him coming to his house, wearing the top hat and not wearing a shirt. He said he'd be totally fine with that.
Howard said that Stevie Ray Vaughn is another favorite of Adam's. He said he loves Little Wing. Howard said he understands that Hendrix wrote that song in 3 minutes. Adam said he can't even listen to that song. He said it makes him angry that he can't play like that.
Howard said he is able to play Prince songs. He asked why it's different. Adam said it's hard to explain. He said Prince was a different kind of player. He said when Stevie Ray played it was like god was in the room. He said when he played it was like a beam of light coming down and striking him. He said what he was given was not of this earth when it comes to guitar. Howard was about to ask a question but Adam had to pee so Howard told him to go. He said let them see his penis. Adam ran off to pee.
Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about Bill Withers. Howard said he has to give Adam a plug while he's pissing. He said he told him not to drink water for 2 days before the interview. Howard asked the guys to throw up his plug. He said he texts Adam once in a while and he tried to call him. He said it's a long story he won't get into. He said he must change his number every week. He said he got annoyed and gave up. He said the guy is so thoughtful about music and the industry.
Howard said the new Maroon 5 single ''Nobody's Love'' is available now. He said they play that on some of the channels there at SiriusXM.
Howard said Adam is in a house near where he lives. He asked if that's a stain on the couch or a pick. Adam said it's a pick. He showed him. Howard said that's a nice room he has. Adam said it's a nice old house.
Howard said he was going to call Adam the other day and he won't get into the specifics but he had an old number of his and he gave up on trying to call. Adam said now he has to know. Howard said he'll talk to him about that off the air.
Howard played the Prince song ''The Beautiful Ones'' and asked if Adam ever thinks about how he should have written something great like that. Adam said it makes you want to stay connected to the moment and showing how you feel. He said that Prince emotes and plays guitar very well. He said this song reminds him to stay involved with what you're singing. He said this song doesn't work unless you're dying. Howard asked if he could be loose enough to open up like that in a song. He said you have to be confident. Adam said he could. He said he has had moments. He said when he did Purple Rain at his birthday show he wishes that moment was the closest thing he's has to an out of body experience. He said he knew he was winning that moment. Howard said he was killing it so much that day. He said he knew something special was going on there. He said he possessed the room. He said he felt it in that moment. Adam said it was wanting to impress and put on a show for Howard. He said it was not wanting to let Prince down too. He said you don't just cover Prince. He said it's kind of against the law. He said he talked to Gary about it and he told him to do it.
Howard said he loves everything about Prince. He said he hated when people covered his songs. He didn't like it at all. Adam said he's close with one of Prince's friends and he talked to her about it. He said he asked her about what Prince said about that performance. He said Prince knows him and he believed in him. He said that he asked what Prince said and she told him that Prince took a long pause and said ''He's learning.'' Howard said they have over 63 million views for that song. He said he's sure a million of them are from him. He said there were some great performances from the show that he loves. He said Perry Farrell and his wife playing a song together is one and this Purple Rain cover was great. Howard played some of the song while he was talking about it. Adam said he gave Pat Monahan the toughest part of that song to sing. Howard let the song play and said that really is great. Adam said he told Howard how panicked he was before he did it. He said he didn't think it was a good idea. He said he was behind the carpet behind the stage. He said they had Bon Jovi performing and all of those people there. Howard said it was some night.
Howard said that Gary reminded him that he was going to play Darling Nikki. He said that he remembers that song when he hung out with John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn. He said everyone knows it. Adam said he's listening to the song now and he remembers where he was on stage at the time. He said he went off the rails. He said when he's with the band he has those nights and it works but that was the most outside of his own existence he ever was. He said he knew that he had gotten them. Howard said he must have been nervous because he was on his own without his own band and he had all of these rock stars in there. He said it looked effortless to him. Adam said he went somewhere else. He said there's no way to do that song unless you believe your own hype.
Howard said it's not something you can plan for. Adam said not really. He said he's sure that James Brown was never not out of his mind but not everyone can be like that every time.
Howard said he has a James Brown song on his list of songs that influenced him. He said James would come on their show and they called him Mr. Brown because they heard he liked that. Howard said he didn't tell them to do that but they did it for him. Howard said the guy was unbelievable. He said he'd get the microphone and just do it. Howard said Adam's favorite of his is ''The Payback.'' Howard played some of it and Adam said he loves the start of the song. He said it makes you want to smile, laugh and cum at the same time. Howard replayed it for him and said it is crazy.
Howard said if he could go back in time and tell the kids he grew up with that he'd be hanging out for hours with James Brown he'd make them so jealous. Adam said he went to McDonald's with his mom when he was about 5 and she's sitting in line taking forever. He said there was a huge stretch limo outside. He said she was getting pissed and the guy gets out of the car and comes over to the window. He said he tells her that they have a lot of people to feed. He said his mom told him that was James Brown who just came over to the car. He said she was so stunned that she couldn't believe it.
Howard said when James Brown was in there he had such a great sense of humor and an accent that made it hard to understand what he was saying. Howard said he had Janie the Cleaning Lady come in to interpret for him. He said that James would laugh at that. He said he had such a great sense of humor. Adam said he was never not being James Brown. He said he was always authentically who he was.
Howard said James came in there with his wife who was a white woman. He said they had somehow gotten her ass implants. He said it was this crazy life with this genius James Brown. He said even the song ''The Payback'' was rejected because they said it wasn't funky enough. Adam said shut up and he wants to know who that mother fucker is. Howard said James took the song back and put it out on another album as a fuck you to that guy. Adam said imagine living with yourself telling James Brown that his song isn't funky enough. He said he's the Godfather of Funk.
Howard said he asked Adam to tell him what songs influenced him. He said he sent a list of about 700 songs. He said this is one. He played Metallica's ''Master of Puppets.'' He asked if he has fantasies of putting out an album of heavy songs like that. Adam said he could have done something like that. He said the bands he worshiped are bands that you can't outdo. He said that he's someone who doesn't want to go where he doesn't belong. He said that he can sing like his heroes and that excited him even more. Howard played a Stevie Wonder song that Adam says influenced him. Adam said he got to sing one of his songs for him. He said that he was a kid and he was fucking nuts. He said he did ''If It's Magic'' and that's a very exposed song. He said everything is coming in now and it was scarier to him than even Purple Rain was.
Adam said that you could hear a pin drop when he did that song for him. He said that Vivica A Fox introduced him to Stevie. He said that he was staring him down spiritually. He said as soon as he started singing a woman said something in the audience. He said he has a clip and this woman just goes ''You go boy!'' when he started singing. He figured it was going to be okay at that point.
Howard asked if he was intimidating to go out there as a white boy in a black audience. Adam said it was incredible to be embraced in that way. He said this was back in the day when they were making records. He said this was like 2002. He said back then it was a very compartmentalized music business. He said it was intimidating to be in a world he wasn't really part of. Adam said he wasn't trying to market himself or anything. He said he was just him being himself.
Adam said he and Stevie had worked together before that. He said they did the Live Aid thing together. He said Stevie gave him a huge bear hug and he asked him if he was going to do ''Like a Fool.'' He said that they were supposed to do another song but he just said okay to whatever he wanted. He said he was 23 or 24 and he was in front of a million people. He said that Stevie called him on stage and he didn't move. He said his manager had to push him out. He said you see him running to the microphone. He said he was about to miss the verse. He said he still fucked the words up.
Howard said Adam said that he likes Marvin Gaye too. Howard had the guys play an acoustic version of ''What's Going On.'' Howard asked if it bothers him that they can isolate voices from songs like that. Adam said not when it's that voice. He said there's some Ozzy stuff out there that's really funny to hear. He said Ozzy does some wild shit.
Adam said that there's all of this stuff going on now and when you hear him doing that song A Cappella it hits you hard. He said without the music it's one thing. He said if you hear Ozzy the same way you hear how crazy Ozzy is. He said you think about everything that makes him so great.
Howard asked if he has music going on all day in his house. Adam said he can have it going all day but he can't listen at night. He said he can't fall asleep if he listens at night. Howard said Joe Walsh once told him he always has a song in his head. Howard asked if there's a competing sound in his head right now. Adam said no. He said he's still tripping on the Marvin Gaye vocal.
Howard said he wasn't surprised by Jamiroquai being on his list of songs. He said he can hear Adam in this. Adam said so can he. He said he thinks they kind of ripped him off. He said he remembers that album coming out and how great the video was. He said he was kind of a rock and roller doing something different and he was inspired by that. He said he feels bad that he ripped the shit out of that song. He said he has a song called Sunday Morning and it's shameful how much he ripped it off.
Howard said he remembers reading about Marvin Gaye begging to get his song ''What's Going On'' released. Howard asked if Jamiroquai ever said anything to him about ripping him off. Adam said he did hear that he talked to a friend of his and said he ripped off his whole shit. He said that he was totally taking it from someone else too so he can't say anything.
Howard said he loves this song. He said this one is on his list of influences. Howard said this song is ''Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town.'' Howard said this is such a great song. Adam said he sings this all the time and he'd love to sing it for Howard another time. Howard said it's so great. Howard played some of the song.
Howard said he was set to interview Eddie Vedder and then COVID hit. Adam said that dude is supposed to be a good guy. He said that he has never gotten to hang out with him. He said when he was 15 all he wanted to be was Pearl Jam. He said that was his band. He said he was all angsty and fucked up at that age. He said that era he was holding on by a thread and that band kept him going. He said he'd listen to this song and that song. He said he was such an emo kid. He said that song ''Leash'' is something too. Howard said he can't listen to that song because it gets to him emotionally. He said he's not even sure what he's talking about but it gets to him. Adam said they he would listen to the left and right channels because that's how they mixed it. He said he would figure out the guitar player and listen to the lyrics. He said he would start to cry.
Howard said that this song is about an old woman stuck in a town and she recognizes an old boyfriend or something and she's too embarrassed to say hello. Adam said he wrote songs about some cool stuff.
Howard played some of the song ''Leash'' and said he has ''Sunday Morning'' by Adam Levine to play. He said that's the song he says he ripped off of Jamiroquai. Howard said he's going to let Adam go. He said he doesn't want to keep him all day. Adam said he could do it all day if he wanted.
Howard asked Adam to pick Bonham or Peart as a drummer. Adam said it's apples and oranges. He said they're so different. He said it's hard to compare the two. He said if he had a gun to his head he'd pick Bonham. He said they both did so much for what they were and when they were. He said Bonham wins that but then again Neil Peart did so much too. Howard said he didn't even know how to pronounce his name.
Howard said he was surprised to see the song ''The Girl from Ipanema'' on his list. He played some of that. Adam said they were in Rio doing a show once and they got to play two nights in a row and they decided to do the song. He said he wrote out the lyrics that were in Portuguese so he could sing them. He said that was the coolest and scariest thing to do. He said this song is about a guy noticing this beautiful woman every day on the beach and she blows him off every day. He said it's so cool.
Howard said the girl who the song is about was just 17. He said he thinks she appeared in Playboy. Adam said that sounds like an urban legend. Howard said he heard that she appeared in it when she was like 40. Howard said he's being told that's correct. Adam asked if she ever capitalized on being that girl. Howard said if being in Playboy is capitalizing then yes.
Howard said he had this weird idea that he'd get a hold of Adam and ask him about his favorite songs. He said that he was into Bob Dylan and he never got Dylan himself. He said he never bought an album of his. He said he knows he's great and ahead of his time but he never got it. Adam said he was one of those guys who hid how good he was. He said that he is an incredible singer. He said the poetry behind it is astounding. He said you wonder why you feel something where you don't expect to. He said he paints pictures for you and he doesn't give you a road map for what he does.
Howard said he feels bad that he doesn't appreciate him as much as he does the Beatles. He said speaking of them he has the song ''Happiness is a Warm Gun'' on his list. He played some of that. Howard said he still can't believe that John Lennon is gone. Adam talked about some of the songs he likes and doesn't like.
Howard said music really is fucking amazing. He said he likes to hear him break it down. Howard took a call from Ralph who said that his favorite Maroon 5 song is ''Girls Like You.'' He said he liked listening to it while biking. He asked how he got Cardi B involved. Adam said he reached out to her and asked her to do it. Ralph said it was a great video too. Adam said all he did was reach out to her and ask her to do it. He said she was getting huge at the time and just breaking through so they asked her to do something with them. He said they wanted to break into the pop world. He said he'll always be thankful to her because she was pregnant at the time and she flew in to do it anyway. He said he told her to just do whatever she wanted to do. He said he'll always appreciate her doing that. Howard played some of that song.
Howard said he has kept him all morning. He asked what they were going to talk about with Ferarris. He said he was going to auction one off or charity. Adam said they're going to do that for Feed the Children. He said that he's always been a Ferrari fan and they included them in this auction. He said they're doing that with a Roma which is really cool. He said that they're trying to help in any way they can. Howard asked what he has to do. Adam said he has to fucking buy it. Howard asked how many he owns. Adam said he owns 2 old ones. He said he's had a bunch over the past 15 years. He said that he just loves cars. He said the first one he bought was a Mustang Mach 1. Howard said he wishes he liked cars. He said Seinfeld and Letterman love cars and he knows nothing about them. Adam said Leno loves cars. He said he can even work on them. Adam said he's a Jew and he has to get someone to work on it.
Howard gave Adam some plugs and said next time he can play that Pearl Jam song. He asked if he does an Eddie voice or his own. Adam said he would do whatever his own version of it is. He said it wouldn't be too different. Howard thanked Adam for giving them all this time today. Adam said he loves doing the show and he has to wait between appearances. Howard let him go after that.
Robin asked Howard if he would do Saturday Night Live now that he has said he changed. Howard said no way. He said he was just talking about the arrogance he had when he was younger. Robin said he didn't let him host because of tat. Howard said he's not going to do it no matter what. Robin said he can do it over Zoom. Howard said he wouldn't do it. He said it's not his thing. Robin said he's still not letting them write. Howard said if they wrote something funny and wanted him to do it he might but who knows. He said he likes doing this show and working for SiriusXM but not much else. He said it's just this. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel will be on tomorrow. He wrapped up and ended the show around 10:30am.
Howard started the show talking about the morning he's having. He said he was looking forward to today's show. He said he opened his door and heard a loud blaring noise. He said it was coming from the basement where he does the show. He said Beth came down with him to check it out. He said they didn't know what was going on. He said Beth is the man of the house because he's a big pussy. He said they came down and they have a bar area there. He said there's a loud noise coming out of that area. He said you might be able to hear it. He said it's not so bad right now but it gets loud. He said sometimes it's loud and sometimes it cuts in and out. He said it has something to do with the refrigerator. He said they started calling people who can take care of it. He said it's going to drive him crazy but he'll try to take his mind off of it. He said everything is built in so they can't even unplug it. Robin said it has to be plugged in somewhere.
Howard said he's afraid to do the circuit breaker because this equipment might be hooked up to it. He said it's hard enough to do the show from home and now this is going to take him off the game. Robin said they should have someone there who knows how everything works. Howard said that person would have to live there. Robin said they could get into a HazMat suit to be in there. Howard said no. He said maybe he will do that. He said he can have someone standing by in the suit. He said they have two guys they know who can help. He said they have Russell and Thomas. He said Beth is on the phone with them.
Howard said what Bigfoot has just done to him is mind blowing. He said his whole staff just quit over this. Robin said she can't believe she has to sit there with him. Bigfoot said his father used to be a Jew. He said he used to try to give him his medication at home. He said he has a seizure disorder and his father made him pay for his own medication. He said he was just 16 years old. Howard asked if he knew he was a Jew because he was cheap. Bigfoot said yes. He said Howard has been cheap lately so he knew that he was Jewish.
Bigfoot said he's got himself in quite a mess up there. He said he's a big star and things are really bad up there. He said that he has to pay to get his license back and it's hundreds of dollars. Howard said he has to break this down. He had Wolfie on the phone to help him out.
Howard asked Wolfie what's going on. Wolfie said that Bigfoot is being harassed by the government and other people up there. He said he wants help with all of that. Bigfoot said that the cops are all bothering him up there. He said they gave him the wrong number and he had to get the right number to get his permit. Wolfie said that he's saying that he's watching the news and he hears secret coded messages from the President and he's furious about this. Bigfoot said he's a legend. He said that's what he's considered up there. He said this is all so unreal.
Wolfie asked Bigfoot to tell Howard about his superpowers. Bigfoot said he can make it rain and snow up there. Howard said he's getting suspicious that he is talking about his super powers and all of this stuff and he's worried that he's not taking his medication. Bigfoot said he can get himself out of jail if he thinks about it enough. He said he can just stare at the wall to do it.
Howard said Bigfoot is a superstar but it sounds to him like he's stopped taking his medication. Bigfoot said that he was in a haze with that medication. Howard said he has to call his doctor. Bigfoot said his doctor won't even call him. Howard had him on the phone. He did his impression of the doctor telling him to take his meds. Bigfoot said that doesn't sound like his doctor. Howard changed his voice a few times. Bigfoot wasn't falling for it.
Howard said they have to get back to how he found out he's Jewish. He said he's in trouble now. Bigfoot kept interrupting him and told him to look in the mirror or look at pictures of himself. He said he's hiding something with that hair. He said he knows he's hiding ''sumptin.''
Howard took a call from Chris Wilding who was doing a voice of a reporter asking when he became a Jew. Howard spent a minute talking to the fake reporter.
Howard said he's Italian so he's not sure what anyone is talking about. He said Bigfoot has fucked him up good. He said now the newspaper is after him. Bigfoot said that Howard's going to be on the front page just like he was. He told the reporter to put him on there. The reporter said that they'll have the headline of ''Jew! Jew! Jew!'' Bigfoot said that he wants to run for president too.
Howard said he just got a letter from Mel Gibson who told him to fuck off. Bigfoot laughed. Howard said he loves Bigfoot and he's worried about him. Bigfoot said yeah right. He said he's fighting all of America all by himself. He said he has to take down this President because he's lying and he doesn't know what to say. He said if he gets his hands on him he's not going to have amnesia. He said he's so crooked that he has to go to the doctor when he goes to the doctor. He said that the President has to do what he does. He said he copies him.
Howard said it's funny that he knows who he's voting for but Ronnie doesn't. Bigfoot said he's not voting. Howard asked why not vote. Bigfoot said he talked to Biden twice. Robin asked what he had a bet with him about. Bigfoot said he has a bet and ask Wolfie about it. He said if he comes up with 2000 points by the end of the month he has to pay him. Howard said they prank called him as Joe Biden and that's what he's referring to. He said they'll play that soon.
Howard did his Biden voice and talked to Bigfoot about voting for him. Bigfoot was all over the place talking about how he has never lied to Howard. Howard said he hasn't but the Vice President is talking to him. He got back to Biden and had him saying he wants him in his cabinet. Bigfoot kept interrupting and asking Howard to talk to listen to him.
Bigfoot said he had a heart attack and went to the hospital. He said they complained about his size and his long beard. Howard had Biden making him his head Jew hunter in the administration.
Wolfie asked Bigfoot to tell Howard where he gets his secret information. Bigfoot said through the TV. He said he watches a lot of channels. He said he moves around from channel to channel.
Howard said he has Joe Biden's wife on the phone. He did the voice of Jill Biden and asked Bigfoot how he's doing. Bigfoot had a hard time understanding her name. Jill said she'll blow him when her husband isn't looking. She said she loves how he can't hear anything too. Bigfoot said he had a guy from New York say he was going to blow him and he never showed up. Howard had Jill saying that Bigfoot can fuck her in the ass. Bigfoot said he doesn't suck ass.
Bigfoot was rambling about things and going on tangents when Howard was trying to talk to him as Jill Biden. Robin asked what the music is. Bigfoot had something playing in the background. Howard had Jill talking about how she has a flea collar on to keep his fleas away. Howard had Jill saying she was going to eat the lice off his balls. Bigfoot said he doesn't have lice.
Howard said Bigfoot has to get on his medication. He said he has never sounded like this. Bigfoot said he's getting smarter every day. Howard said he hasn't said ''it is'' today. He said he hopes he gets on his medication. Bigfoot said his other doctor got fired for playing too many games. Howard said he has to get to the doctor.
Wolfie said Bigfoot went to the hospital and he told them how the Coronavirus is being spread and they took it as a threat. He said that he thinks that the Coronavirus is on the tip of the cotton swab that they stick in your nose. Howard said he could be right. Bigfoot said there could be cobwebs in Howard's head. He told him to clean it out. Howard asked why he's not saying ''it is'' today. Bigfoot said he's getting smarter day by day. He said he gets smarter from watching TV every day. Robin said he's the only one who is.
Howard said Wolfie went from being a businessman to being Bigfoot's interpreter in just a few months during the pandemic.
Howard asked if Bigfoot wears a mask in public. Bigfoot said he refuses to. He said he turned blue twice. He said he gasps for air if he wears a mask. Howard said he wants to say something. Bigfoot said he turns blue occasionally. Howard said he did a terrible thing today. Bigfoot told him to take those cobwebs out of his head.
Howard said his boss Jim Meyer is on the phone saying that he's going to fire him because he's Jewish. He took the call from fake Jim who said they have it in his contract that they can't have Jews there. He told Howard he's fired and they're going to hire Bigfoot to take over Bigfoot 100.
Howard asked Fake Jim if they have an Anti-Jew clause in his contract. Jim said of course they do. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard said he has never heard Bigfoot this talkative and this delusional. He said he's seeing things and thinks people are after him. Bigfoot said he can prove it. He said they're after him and it's been 5 nights now. Howard asked Bigfoot who he sees. Bigfoot said he sees a helicopter by the trees. He said he sees that when he's out buying joints. He said he gets a deal where you buy 2 and get one free. Howard said he's worried about him and so is Joe Biden and Jill Biden too. He did his Jill Biden impression for a few seconds. Bigfoot kept saying he doesn't go to the bar anymore.
Howard, as Jill, asked if he turns blue. Bigfoot said he does. Jill said that turns her on. Bigfoot said he doesn't go to the bar anymore for two reasons. Howard asked what they are. Bigfoot said his staff came up there and they went to a bar. He said he's listening to all of this. Howard did his Jill voice and interrupted him again saying she wanted to blow him while he's sitting on the toilet taking a shit.
Bigfoot said that they went to the bar when they were up there. He said his staff was there. Howard asked Wolfie what he's talking about. Wolfie tried to talk but Bigfoot was rambling and kept saying ''Howard!? Howard!?'' Wolfie told him to tell Howard about the mountain men. Bigfoot said he used to buy pot and pills from them. He said he's connected in 5 different ways with them. He said he's connected to the big truck drivers too. He said he's talking about 18 wheelers. Howard was still in the Jill voice talking about what she'd do to him.
Jill kept trying to talk to Bigfoot but Bigfoot was talking over her. Howard asked how Wolfie can handle this guy. Wolfie said he talks to him 3-5 times a day and he has to talk him off the edge all day long. Howard asked if they can get in touch with his doctor to get him back on his meds. Wolfie said he has tried. He said that he does say some worrisome things at times. He said that everyone harasses him. Bigfoot interrupted and went on a rant about how his neighbors bother him all day long. Wolfie said he'll call the cops on them and they end up arresting him instead.
Howard said Bigfoot said he bought guns from the mountain men. He asked if he has guns. Bigfoot said not yet. He said he's working on it. Wolfie said he told him it's a bad idea to do that. He said that's very dangerous. Howard asked what he wants a gun for. Bigfoot said his life is in danger. Robin said he has superpowers though. She asked how he's in danger. Bigfoot said his life is in danger. Howard said he can make it rain on them then. Bigfoot he has done that. He said he just has to wish on it and it comes true.
Bigfoot was complaining about some guy riding a bike with big tires past his house and he was sitting on the steps and the guy said he can't sit there. He said he can sit there. He said there's no law against it.
Howard said he has to get on his medication. Bigfoot said he has people going in and out of the building and they ask if he likes to fuck. Howard did more of his Jill voice and asked him to shit on her tits when her husband is doing his thing.
Bigfoot interrupted him asking for Howard again. Howard said he knows how to get him to take his medication. He said he'll put it in his vagina and have him eat her out. Bigfoot said yeah right.
Howard said he loves Bigfoot but he's worried about him. He said Wolfie is going to try to help him out. Bigfoot said he has called him twice and he won't call him back. Howard said they'll look into that. Bigfoot said it takes days for him to get back to him.
Wolfie said when he told the doctor that he can move things with his mind the doctor said he didn't want to see him anymore.
Howard thanked Wolfie for keeping an eye on Bigfoot. He said he's worried about him. He let both of them go after that. Howard said he's really worried about Bigfoot. He said he's thinking a lot of people are chasing him. He did more of his Jill Biden impression talking about Bigfoot. She was talking about what she wants him to do to her while her husband is running for President. She said she wants to have some fun with Bigfoot when her husband puts him in his cabinet.
Howard had Jill talking about being rejected by Bigfoot over and over again and what a wake up call that was. Jill said that Bigfoot turns her on. She said she has never had smelly monster cock in her vagina before. He said she wants some of that monster cock now. Robin said she has never had it and she doesn't want to. Jill said she can imagine having him cum and blowing her head off.
Howard said he's really worried about Bigfoot. He said he thinks he's going nuts not being on his medication. He said Wolfie has some job there.
Jill said she has to go because her husband is coming. Howard let Jill go. He said that's so insulting that Bigfoot thought he was Jewish. He said that gets around and you're ruined. He said he has to take a break. He said he never gets a call from Bigfoot. He went to break after that.
Howard came back wondering what happened to Limp Bizkit. Robin said she was wondering the same thing.
Howard said he and Beth watched Dancing with the Stars last night. He said he fast forwards through the bad stuff.
Howard said he has this nice S'Well pot keeping his water hot. He said this thing does work so he must have messed up the other day when he said it didn't work. He got in a plug for Zip Recruiter for sponsoring the show today.
Howard said Dancing with the Stars is a train wreck. He said they don't have that judge Len anymore. He said hosting isn't Tyra Banks' thing. He said it's really shocking to see Anne Heche on the show dancing. He said even they can't figure that out. Howard said they don't even call it Dancing with the Stars anymore. He said here aren't any stars on it so they just call it ''Dancing.''
Howard said this woman Carole Baskin is on the show and there are people asking why she's on the show when she's suspected of making her husband disappear. Howard said it's a weird thing. He said OJ is thrilled though. He wants to be on the show too. He said nothing has been proven but the family thinks that she did something. Howard said maybe next season they can have a suspected murderers season. He said all of the stars can be accused people. He said that they can still call it Dancing with the Stars.
Howard said there's this tiny girl on the show who is just 18 and she's fascinating to look at. Robin said she's a Disney girl. Howard said she does look like one. Robin said she looks like she didn't grow. Howard said they must hire people who don't get older looking.
Howard said that they had this AJ McLean on the show and he was in the Backstreet Boys so they did this big intro for him and you wonder what the fuck happened to him. He said they sold 120 million albums and now he's on Dancing with the Stars. He said he'd be like fuck that if they asked him to be on that show. He said it just doesn't compute.
Howard asked if Carole Baskin thinks she's a tiger. He said she does this thing to the camera that's really weird. He said they should have her dance with a tiger. Robin said that's a good idea. Howard said Carole is on the phone to talk about Dancing with the Stars. He took the call from fake Carole who had a joke about the husband's disappearance.
Howard said there were a bunch of people on the show. He said he fast forwarded through most of them. Robin said Johnny Weir is on. Howard said he's his favorite. He said he wore see through pants.
Howard said that they had one of the Bachelorette on the show. He said she must have had a lot of plastic surgery or something. He said she didn't look anything like what she did on The Bachelorette. He said her name is Kaitlyn Bristowe. Robin said she kept looking for her but this other woman kept showing up. Howard said he's not sure how she can dance if she can't move her eyebrows. He said that show is so fascinating.
Robin said Tyra keeps making weird face when she's trying to talk to people. Howard said someone wrote on the internet that the first person they should vote off is Tyra. Howard said that's funny.
Howard said people used to have standards. Robin said Tom Bergeron must be sitting home laughing. She said they just had to get a new host. Howard said it's not so easy to get a host. Howard had fake Tom call in to talk about being fired. He did the voice of Tom for a minute.
Howard said Jim Meyer is his boss there. He said he's the CEO of SiriusXM. He got a text from his daughter saying that she got him some N95 masks. He said his daughter is so sweet. He said she knows how nuts he is.
Howard said he met with Jim when he came to the company and he wanted to see what kind of guy he was. He said Jim wanted to see what kind of guy he was too. He said he had heard some shitty things about him. He said Jim is the guy who got all of the radios into the cars. He said that was the big push there. He said you had to be in the dashboard to make the company big. Robin said it couldn't be an add on. Mariann said that it's a big thing. She said that people get hooked when they have it in the car with a free trial.
Howard said so much of this is personality but Jim immediately made him think about the people from the mid-west. He said it's a type of person who is so fucking charming and unassuming. He said they don't brag about themselves and they're very different from people he has worked with in radio. He said he imagined Jim walking in to talk to Ford or Toyota and he's the kind of guy you just like. He said you go out to have some drinks with him and he's just a mench. Mariann said he's very humble. She said he has a cherub's face. Robin said he never moved to New York. She said he goes home to the mid-west. Howard said he does have a place there in New York. Howard said he has a place near him and they would go out to eat.
Howard said he worked for this guy Wally Clark who had this Midwestern kind of thing. He said he's a likeable guy. He said he sat down with Jim for the first time and didn't talk business. He said Jim said they had to trust one another to work together. Howard said that's true. He said he absolutely trusts Jim. He said that he wants everyone to succeed. He said he and Jim talked and Jim said he would get what he needs done. He said he's the guy you dream of working for in the business. He said the whole thing was a fluke. He said that you don't get that usually.
Mariann said that most people are smug in the business and he wasn't like that. Howard said he met Jim and he wondered who the fuck this guy was. He said he didn't get why they hired a regular guy. He said the company has thrived under him and it's been a joy to come to work. He said that you ask anyone and it's an honor to work for the guy. He said he's so proud of this company and he's proud that he knew Jim and he hopes he stays friends with him. He said he is going to sit on the board so that's a good thing. He said he's one of those emirates things.
Howard said he has spoken to Jim and this woman Jennifer Witz is taking over. Mariann gave him her last name. Howard said that Bigfoot just figured out that she's Jewish. Howard said Jennifer has been there a long time and he understands that she's good too. He said Jim says she's good so he'll take his word on that. Howard said Jim is a good man and a good man is hard to find. Mariann said she hopes that Jennifer makes him as happy as Jim did. Howard said they always find a way to take away his happiness. Mariann said that's why her Howard wind was knocked out of her today.
Howard said God doesn't want him to be happy. He said that they always figure a way out to take that away from him. Mariann was starting to ramble so he cut her off and hung up.
Howard jokingly said Jim said he's moving to Alabama with Shuli. He said that's the story about what's going on with Jim.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he went home and listened to the White Album after they talked about it yesterday. He asked what he thinks about Rocky Racoon. Howard said it's good. He said he has to get Adam back on to talk about the Beatles. He said there are some songs he has to ask his opinion about. He played some of a Beatles song ''Blue Jay Way'' and said it's just not a good song. He said they can't all be great.
Howard read through some feedback about how great Adam was on the show yesterday. Fred said he's a big Stevie Ray Vaughn fan so it was good to hear Adam giving him props the way he was.
Howard read through more feedback about Adam's interview and people were talking about that Purple Rain performance he did at Howard's birthday bash.
Howard read some feedback about Lars being on the show playing that game too. Howard had a bunch of things he read about the game they played and how great Lars was. Howard said some people thanked him for having Jose Mangin on with Lars. Howard said Gary reminded him that Jose's wife is super hot.
Howard said the whole drum debate is still out of control. He had a bunch of feedback about Neil Peart and John Bonham. He went through a bunch of those comments.
Howard said he got a bunch about King of All Blacks and Ronnie fighting. He asked Beth what's going on. Beth said something off microphone. He asked her to come there but she refused. Howard said he likes when she comes in but she doesn't like being on. Robin said she sees her sneak those strawberries in there every day. She said she's like Thing with just that hand coming in.
Howard read more about Ronnie and King of All Blacks. He said some people are coming around to King's side in all of this. He said Ronnie has lost some fans because he's undecided with the whole voting thing. Howard said he should take a break and get Jimmy on there. He said he's been busy this summer. He said he's hosting the Emmys. Robin asked if this is a virtual show or a real show. Howard said he's not sure if Jimmy even knows. He said he's on record saying this will be the lowest rated Emmys ever.
Howard said he's going to play a song about King of All Blacks and Ronnie as he goes into break. He played the song as he went to break.
Howard came back and said Jimmy Kimmel has been on vacation for months now so he should be very relaxed. He said he looks real excited right now. Robin said he looks tired. Jimmy said it's 5:30 out there.
Howard said Jimmy has narcolepsy. He said he used to take medication for that. Jimmy said it's a very bad thing to deal with but he gets to sleep in like 4 minutes. He said he's out as soon as he goes to bed. Howard said that drives his wife nuts from what he hears. Jimmy said he'll be unconscious when Molly is still talking to him.
Howard said he was thinking about his marriage. He said that he's a talk show host and he probably never thought he'd be doing that. Jimmy said he wanted to be an artist when he was a kid. He said he didn't know what he would do with that. He said he saw an ad back in the 80s for an artist and it was paying $10 an hour. He said it turned out to be cutting stickers out to put on toys. He said he didn't know if that's what you had to do to be an artist. Howard asked how that's an art job. Jimmy said he thought there would be something creative there. He said he didn't get that job though. Howard said it requires a kindergarten education to do that job.
Howard said Jimmy is a good artist actually. He said he can draw very well. He said he can see him having that career.
Jimmy said he's having a hard time seeing them on Zoom. Howard said that's on purpose. He said Bigfoot called in and called him out as being a Jew. He said Jimmy almost canceled this morning because of that.
Jimmy said he can't believe how good Howard is as a painter. He said he didn't think he was headed anywhere when he took it up. He said before he started he figured he'd get tired of it and stop. He said it didn't occur to him that you can learn to paint. He said Howard is excellent and they will look at them and they can't believe it. He said he's glad that he didn't discover this earlier in life because he probably wouldn't be doing this show. Howard said he'd probably be homeless if he was an artist.
Howard said it makes him happy that he likes his stuff. He said he's one of the few people who see his paintings. Jimmy said he's not sure if he could ever have an art show because of his fans but even his fans would be bowled over by how good they are. Howard said he should put it out for the fans. He said this new one is a big one. He said Jimmy knows how hard he works at this. He said most people assume he's not going to be good at it. Jimmy said the level of detail and concentration is something. Howard said this is his take on man taking over nature.
Howard said Jimmy imagined that he'd be an artist as a kid. He said he never thought he'd be hosting a late night show. Howard asked if it's as cracked up as they make it out to be. Jimmy said it can be gratifying. He said he can think it was fine or that he feels bad about it. He said there's nothing beyond that.
Howard said Jimmy and Molly work together and they're married. He said she's an incredible talent and very funny. He said they're both very funny. He said that has to be intense. He said it can be filled with land mines. He said you can get overwhelmed and wonder why they're not funny enough and it can turn into a work relationship. Jimmy said that makes sense but it doesn't feel that way. He said it never really does. He said Molly is helping him with the Emmys thing. He said everything she says he's going to agree with. He said having someone like that is great. He said it really helps to have something like that. Howard said he just broke up there. He said he thought he'd have a better internet connection. Jimmy said he has a great one. Howard said no he doesn't. He said he judges people by their internet connection. He said he thinks they're cheap if it doesn't work.
Jimmy said he has a dedicated line there so it should be working fine. He said that they used to lose interviews because their kids were playing video games on the guest's home internet. Howard said he used to have that there. He said the whole thing would shut down at 10:30 in the morning.
Howard said Seth Meyers was on and said he had shitty internet and NBC wasn't doing anything for him. Jimmy said he called Seth after that. He said that ABC was much more concerned about getting him on the air than NBC was for Seth. Howard said he knows Seth is on late but he works hard on that show. He said that he was shocked that NBC wasn't helping him out.
Howard asked if he really did call Seth. Jimmy said he did because it's good to talk to those other late night guys so they can commiserate. Howard said ABC used to fuck with Jimmy's show too but things have gotten better. Jimmy said they have. Howard asked what Seth said to him. Jimmy said that he had the same conversation that Howard had with him. He said he thinks Seth liked doing the show from home. He said there are some things that are good about it but he prefers to go to work. He said he'd rather not do it in his house.
Howard said he likes doing it from his house but it can be challenging. He said that he would like to be able to be there with bands in the studio.
Jimmy said that Michael McDonald and the Doobie Brothers were touring and he asked his people to get them on the show. He said they were booked and they were going to do an outdoor concert for 2 nights and they missed it. He said he hopes they get to do that again. He said that's what stung about the pandemic. Howard said he missed out on an Eddie Vedder interview. He said that was all set and he was ready for it. He said they had to cancel so that really got to him. Jimmy said he knows Eddie loves the show so that was going to be great. Howard said hopefully they can make that happen.
Howard said he was thinking about Molly and how great she is. Howard said Beth will tell him that Molly wrote something funny if he's watching Jimmy and laughing. He said Beth is convinced that Molly is the brains behind all of that. Jimmy said they have a bunch of other writers there too so grey may have written those jokes.
Jimmy talked about how hard Molly worked there at his show to work her way up. He said she eventually got to the point where she was able to have sex with him.
Howard said he was so envious that he told him he had the whole summer off. He asked if he's back yet. Jimmy said it didn't translate into that because they weren't able to go anywhere. Howard said that's bullshit. Jimmy said he did go to Idaho and back by car. Howard said he was somewhere at the beginning of his vacation. He said he asked Beth what the fuck is wrong with him. Jimmy said they went to Idaho and drove. Howard said he saw pictures of him with a bunch of dudes. Jimmy said he did go on a fishing trip. He said they all got tested and they drove up there and fished. Howard said he didn't think he had to do that. Jimmy said there is an element of risk there but they were very careful. He said it was very interesting driving through the country and seeing where they take it seriously and where they're not. He said he had a mask and gloves on when he'd walk into a restaurant. He said some places are more serious than they are. Howard said he has friends who are taking it seriously and some who have parties with 35 people.
Howard asked if Jimmy has gone to parties. Jimmy said he went to one home but not to a big party. Howard asked why he'd risk that. Jimmy said there are people who get tested a lot and he gets tested a lot. He said his wife does too. He said if someone was tested that week and he sizes them up, he's okay. He said everyone lies about how safe they're being other than Howard. He said everyone exaggerates a little. He said everyone is lying about it. He said you realize it's not as safe as they claim it is. He said no one wants to be that Typhoid Mary.
Howard said Alex Jones wants to call him out on his vacation. Howard took a call from fake Alex who said that Jimmy is lying about where he went. He had a whole bit set up but Howard said there's something wrong with his connection so he has to hang up. His connection cleared up so Howard kept him on. Fake Alex was accusing Jimmy of conspiracy stuff and made up a bunch of stuff that had Jimmy laughing. Jimmy played along with it and let Fake Alex go on and on. Alex's connection was cutting out occasionally though. Howard let him go a short time later.
Jimmy said that someone made up a fake flight log into Epstein Island and people spread it around like it's real. He said it's unbelievable what's going on here on this planet. Howard asked if that's true. Jimmy said it is. He said they put his name on and everyone who criticizes Trump on the list. He said Trump's name is probably really on that list.
Howard said he has to talk about this vacation. Jimmy asked if he's ever been in an RV. Howard said other than being on the set of America's Got Talent he hasn't. He said he's never traveled in one. Howard asked how long the trip to Idaho was. Jimmy said it was about a 15 hour drive. He said he did all of the driving. Howard said he did that and he has narcolepsy. Jimmy said there were times that he was the only one awake in the car. He said he kept himself awake thinking about the fire ball that there would be if he crashed the RV. He said he kept his brain active by thinking about that. Howard asked if they had a bathroom in there. Jimmy said they did. He said the bathroom in there works pretty well. He said it doesn't really stink because they have the technology figured out.
Howard asked if it was tough being in there so close. Jimmy said it was fine. He said that they had an interesting turn of events with Molly's feet. He said that she was not happy with him when he brought up her smelly feet. He said that she's very busy with everything going on right now. He said every once in awhile she'll look at social media and someone will post a pair of feet Emoji and a skunk or something. He said someone will tell her to wash her feet. He said she's had a full 180 on it and now she loves it.
Howard said he follows Molly on Twitter and she's very passionate about things. He said people shut her down by commenting on her feet. Jimmy said she thinks it's funny now so she's a good sport.
Howard asked if they broke down in the RV. Jimmy said it didn't break down but he got two flat tires because he backed it into a hole. He said it's hard to drive an RV. Howard said it's like driving a bus. Jimmy said the people driving a bus are bus drivers. He said there are two wheels on each side and he got a rock between the two tires. He said he drove around on it for 2 and a half days. He said he's not sure how he did it but he had to get them fixed. He said they were both flat but he was still able to drive on them.
Howard asked if they stayed in the RV when grey got to their destination. Jimmy said they stayed in a fishing lodge out in Idaho. He said they would stay in the RV at other times. He said they'll drive it out to New York and Howard can sleep in it.
Jimmy said he called Howard and asked him if he could drive out there and let them stay there if they got tested. Howard said he said no to that. He said he's so crazy that they got their hair cut the other day and Beth was with Toni longer than he was so he thought she got COVID-19 and made her get tested. Howard said he can't get COVID. He said he's not looking to drop dead. He said he's afraid of what's next. He said he's not sure what's next but he's afraid of it. Howard went through the whole story about getting his hair cut from Toni who gets tested 3 times a week and was all wrapped up in a whole outfit.
Howard said he didn't say a word and got his hair done in 25 minutes. He said Beth talked to Toni for a long time. He said Beth told him that she was fine. Howard said he figured Beth got COVID so he didn't go near her and told her she had to get tested. He said he's still waiting for the results.
Howard said last night he was looking at Beth's ass. He said he had been staying away from her. He said that he went over to her and started to rub her leg. He said then he was rubbing her thigh. He said she asked what he was doing. He said he was massaging her. He said she liked that. He said then he was rubbing her ass. He said she told him to stop that. He said he told her he didn't care if she had COVID and said it was time for Bang O'clock. Howard said he didn't care when he was fucking her if he was going to get COVID.
Jimmy asked what's going to happen if she gets COVID and he doesn't. Howard said he's not leaving. He said he can't just leave the house. He said Beth will have stay in the guest area. He said she'll have to hack it out until he's safe. He said he'd still think that she has it even if she tests negative. Howard said he'll have her live in the RV with Jimmy.
Robin said Beth does everything so he's screwed if Beth gets sick. Howard said he can live through any kind of mess. He said he's a guy so he can do that. Jimmy said he feels like Howard is enjoying this COVID too much. He said it's almost like he started it.
Howard said he had a conversation with David Letterman about that. He said he is kind of enjoying not leaving the house. He said no one in America is enjoying it other than him.
Jimmy said he has found through his studies that wearing a mask really seems to work. He said he's involved in a couple of restaurants and they're still working. He said you can't divide people that much in there. He said they wear masks and they're fine. He said no one has contracted the virus in there. He said he thinks that's because of the masks. He said that's such a simple sacrifice. He said it's not that hard to wear a mask. He said if it was a fashion thing before this then people would be wearing them. He asked why it's so hard to wear a god damn mask.
Howard said people in this country have made so many sacrifices in the past. He said it's absurd that people won't do it now. Howard said he saw the interview Trump did with George Stephanopoulos and it was just crazy. Jimmy said it was funny that he said some people think masks are good and some think they're bad. He said that he gave an example of people who they're bad for are waiters. He said it's like someone's grandpa is running the country.
Howard said the other thing is people not keeping their distance. He said that you have to stay 6 feet away but people insist on being close. Jimmy said their son loves wearing his mask because they put Spider-Man on it.
Howard asked what's going on with Adam Carolla. He said he has a problem with people taking this stuff seriously. Jimmy said that Adam doesn't believe in soap or shampoo. He said he did that for about 30 days and then he got a case of Pink Eye. He said Adam was over and they were in the back yard and he ended up urinating in his kid's sandbox. He said that he asked why he was doing that and Adam said it was no big deal. He said this is the mentality he has. He said he will leave his toothbrush in the sink and pee in the sink around the toothbrush.
Howard asked what's going on in Adam's head. Jimmy said he has a unique take on hygiene. He said back around Y2K he was making fun of what might happen. He said he and Adam had a trip planned to the mountains and Adam and his friend skipped the trip because they wanted to stay to protect their homes from looters when Y2K happened. He said maybe Adam has effects from that left over. He said that Adam doesn't understand why they won't let him in their house. He said he just doesn't get it. He said he hopes that Adam doesn't get it and that his family doesn't get it but he doesn't believe in microbes.
Howard said that he stopped using shaving cream. He said if he does it dry it works great. Jimmy said he needs a cream. He said he uses Creama. Howard said his beard is think too but he doesn't need shaving cream. He said he used to bleed all the time but not anymore.
Howard asked Jimmy what's going on with the Emmys. Howard said he came back in August and started taping Who Wants to be a Millionaire. He asked how that's working. Jimmy said they pared it down to like 6 people in a very big room. He said the contestants are like 20 feet from him. He said they're very careful. He said everyone is tested every day and grey all wear masks. He said it's just him and the contestant not wearing masks. He said they banged out 17 episodes in 4 days and that was that.
Howard said it seems like they had an excess of people in television. He said grey can run the shows with a skeleton crew. Jimmy said you can do that with some shows. He said so far it seems that if you're careful and you follow the rules and have a good plan they can make it work. He said no one is getting sick on the productions that are running right now. He said the plans right now seem to be a lot of plexiglass. Howard said someone is going to get COVID. He said Rob Pattinson got it on the set of Batman. Jimmy said look at his mask. Howard said he knows it's backwards.
Howard said that someone is going to get sick on his show. Jimmy said they will have to change the show around a bit. Jimmy said the editors are working from home so they're able to do a lot of things. He said it's amazing.
Howard said that the other late night guys are going into work. He asked if they all decided on that at the same time. Jimmy said you have to wear a mask and be careful. He said there's a chance you'll get it but that's a chance he's taking. He said he could get it at home for all he knows. Howard said he has seen guys who work in the E.R. and they never touch their face and wear masks and they don't get sick.
Jimmy said one of his doctors said the same thing to him. He said he has sick people coming in all the time. He said they are very careful but one of his doctors is a friend of theirs and he disappeared for a couple of weeks. He said he got the West Nile Virus from a mosquito. He said he was very, very sick from that. He said West Nile will take many people out and it can blind you if you do make it through. Howard said they can't have those mosquitos there in New York. Howard said he hates fucking mosquitos. He said they're like dirty needles. He asked why we don't just kill them all. He asked why we can't just kill them all. Jimmy said it might upset the balance of nature.
Howard said Jimmy is hosting the Emmys this year. He said he makes it sound very stressful to host that show. He said he's the bravest man in show business because he's willing to do these shows and doesn't seem to care what people think. Howard asked what the game plan is for the show. Jimmy said he will be at the Staples Center. He said it's huge so grey can spread everyone out. Howard asked if this will be live. Jimmy said yes. He said most of the nominees and presenters are going to be at home. Howard said nothing can go wrong. Jimmy said he has no control over the whole thing. He said there's nothing funny about losing a Wi-Fi signal. He said they have to rely on their signal and each individual's connection. He said that's something. He said for the most part he will be alone in a very big stadium. He said that's the plan.
Howard said he's getting a headache thinking about this. He asked what was making him crazy this summer. Jimmy said you can kind of break this down to a formula but they didn't know where they were going to be doing it from or if they were going to have an audience or not. He said it's hard to proceed and plan if you don't know the setting.
Howard asked if he has a plan or is it still vague. Jimmy said he thinks he has a plan but it all depends on if it works the way they want it to. He said he doesn't want it to feel like a 3 hour Zoom meeting. Howard asked how you can combat that. Jimmy said he'll have to dip into his bag of many talents. He said he'll be dancing and singing. He said the only thing he can really do is be funny. He said he has to take care of being a host and just try to be funny. He said if things go awry he'll have to try to take care of that and be funny.
Robin asked if they're going to have writers there for him. Jimmy said they'll be on camera writing notes. Howard said he'd love to see him play Clarinet or something. Jimmy said he'll make a note to bring one. Robin said bring a sketch pad and draw.
Howard said on Zoom someone ends up naked every time. He said he can tell someone to be caught being naked. Jimmy said he likes that too. He said even better they can trick their spouse into being naked.
Howard said he told Beth last night that if he were to present something he'd get caught banging Beth on camera. He said that's the bit he'd do. Jimmy said that he'd love to have him present. He said the show isn't over until 11 though so he won't be up.
Howard asked Jimmy who calls to get people to present. Jimmy said he has called in some cases. He said there are celebrities who are nominated and aren't sure if it's safe to do this.
Howard asked if there are going to be people there at the Staples Center. Jimmy said for the most part no. He said most of it will be remote stuff.
Howard asked if he thinks the ratings are going to be any good. Jimmy said it'll be something fun to watch for 3 hours. He said it's not hurting anyone. Howard said he should just shame people on the show. He said maybe put a green screen behind them and put up the wild fires that are happening out there. Jimmy said they don't need a green screen for that. He said the air quality there is bad enough to see.
Howard said he wants him to role play with him. He told Jimmy he loves the show and loves that he's hosting the Emmys but he feels ashamed to accept an award right now. He asked him to talk him into it. Jimmy said he would ask why you feel that way. Howard said he feels bad that people are suffering right now and this is sending a bad message. Jimmy said maybe people want to see some entertainment on a Sunday night. He said they are paying tribute to the people who have helped us through this. He said they're making a sizeable donation for each Emmys that's awarded. Howard said he sounds more organized than our government right now. Jimmy said they do have a plan that people will feel good about.
Howard said he's glad he's not in his position. He asked if they're going to hold the statue or not. Jimmy said they have a plan for that too. He said they'll have a delivery of the statue during the show. He said they'll have Postmates or someone like that deliver it.
Jimmy said they have devised this box that's remote controlled that will be sent to the Nominees. He said the switch opens the box and a fake arm comes out with an Emmy in it's hand. He said it's crazy looking and potentially dangerous. He said he thinks it won't work but hopefully it will.
Howard said grey have really thought this through. Howard asked if he has a list of names of presenters. Jimmy said he's not sure if he has the green light to mention any names yet.
Howard asked if they have prepared a special moment for Regis Philbin. Jimmy said they did for Millionaire. He said they have a special tribute to Regis on there. He said they do have one at the Emmys too. Robin asked how Jimmy is going to get through that. Jimmy said he averts his eyes.
Howard asked if Regis or Carl Reiner will be the last face they see in the In Memorium thing. Jimmy said both of them are great. Howard said how about Jerry Stiller. Jimmy said he loved him too.
Howard asked if he's in on the decision to pick that person. Jimmy said he won't be meddling in that decision but they would probably listen to him if he asked to do that.
Howard asked if they're going to have Diana Rigg in that In Memorium. Jimmy said that they will probably be set right up until in the afternoon on Sunday. Jimmy said you have to qualify to get into that In Memorium. He said it's a really weird thing. He said his uncle Frank made it in there but sometimes people don't get in that probably should.
Howard said that Eddie Haskell, played by Kenny Osmond, didn't get into the In Memorium. He said he has a fear that this kind of thing happens a lot. Howard went into his agent voice and talked to him about people like that who might not make it into the In Memorium.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who told Jimmy he did a good job with Millionaire. He said he also enjoys the shows they're doing during the pandemic. He said that he likes that they don't waste as much time with the bits and stuff. Howard said that's insulting. Howard said his bits are very funny. He said he has to be fucking kidding. Ralph said the guests talking is interesting.
Jimmy brought up Ralph and Chris watching Aaron Carter jerking off. Ralph brought up how Chris Evans sent out a dick pic the other day. Howard said he heard that they were trying to hunt it down. Ralph said it was weird. He said it was accidentally that he sent it out.
Howard had Chris Wilding get on because he was sending Ralph a bunch of dick pics and asshole pics. Chris said that was Saturday night. He said in Watchmen they had this guy who had a giant penis. He said he took a screen shot of it and sent it to Ralph and then he'll send him something back and they got back and forth with dick pics. Jimmy asked why Ralph does this. Ralph said he just jokes around with this stuff. He said Chris is busy talking to him about the cock and he's not the one sending them around. Chris said he did send him a picture of him with his blue dick. He said they were going through the twitter feed of the guys who were in Aaron Carter's room when he was jerking off. Ralph said Chris was going through it, not him. Chris said he was too.
Ralph said it was fun when Jimmy had people fill in for him. Howard said he wants to applaud him for that too. He said a lot of hosts are afraid they'll lose their job but Jimmy wasn't afraid. Jimmy said he's just lazy. He said if he can get paid and not work at all he's good with that. Howard asked if he could just supervise and have other hosts take over for him. Jimmy said most guests won't even notice if it's not him.
Howard asked Jimmy who did the best job filling in for him. Jimmy said he has to think about this. He said the best monologue was given by Lil Rel Howery. He said that he gave a very serious or emotional monologue. He said most everyone was there doing jokes but Rel was weird because he didn't want to go through jokes and stuff. He said he showed up and gave a great monologue. Howard asked if he was afraid that he might lose his job there if Lil Rel was that good. Jimmy said he'd be perfectly happy with that. He said he'd have no problem at all.
Howard asked if he knows what Lil Rel's real name is. Jimmy didn't know. Howard said it's Milton.
Howard said he likes watching old talk show interviews with great guests. Jimmy said he does that all the time. He said he thinks he's seen every Don Rickles interview that's ever been done. He said he loves it. He said there was a period that Johnny Carson dressed like a pimp. He said it looked like he was doing a sketch but he wasn't. Howard said that was all during the Disco era. He said he was watching Johnny with Richard Pryor. He said that guy was the best talk show guest ever. He said he had a sit down with Johnny and it was around Richard's 40th birthday. He said he was talking about divorce and Johnny was just loving it. He said he was so brutally honest but funny. Jimmy said he was the best. He said he's sure Johnny loved the divorce talk.
Howard said Johnny asked Richard about the drugs and you expect him to walk off but Richard just ends up talking about it and it's in such a funny way. He said it took his breath away because it was so funny.
Howard said sometimes Don Rickles would do an interview and he could tank. He said he'd get flop sweat. Jimmy said that can be great too though. He said these days things are kind of pasteurized and people are fearful to get into stuff. He said at one point Johnny's show was 90 minutes long so grey could really get into it. He said there was no pressure to move through it. He said they just sat there smoking and talking.
Howard said he told Letterman that he spends a lot of time looking at clips from his show. He said he told Dave who he loves and he gets so uptight about it. He said Dave doesn't want to know. He said he did an interview with Jerry Lewis and he loved those interviews. He said you're not sure if he loves or hates Jerry but Jerry was so good with Dave. He said Desi Arnaz was great too. He said it was bizarre. He said late night is so competitive. He said it's a shame you can't just book those more interesting guests. Jimmy said things are different now. He said they do book those kind of guests.
Jimmy said he's sure that Desi Arnaz was booked as a goof. Howard said it wasn't a goof though. He said he got up and did a song. He said he wanted to watch 10 hours of that.
Jimmy said the weird thing is that when the guests would walk out on those old NBC shows they didn't have music playing. He said they walked out in silence. He said that's more suited to late night though. He said he'd be in a trance watching those shows. He said they'd have Brother Theodore and Harvey Pekar on Dave's show and he was so good with them. He said he almost didn't have to say anything. He said you got the feeling that the show forced the guests on him but they know that's not true.
Howard asked who Jimmy has on his show who he doesn't have to work hard for. He said he feels that with Jimmy on his show. He said he knows he loves Tracy Morgan. He asked who else he'd love to have on like that. Jimmy said he will say that one of them is Charles Barkley and Shaquille O'Neil. He said that David Spade is one of them too. He said when they look back on these times they'll see him as one of the best talk show guests.
Howard said he's a huge admirer of David's. He said he upped his game. He said he totally upped his game at some point. He said something happened and he is at the top of his game when he's on Ellen or on his show. He said he has gone to a new level. Howard asked what the fuck happened. Jimmy said his rhythm is perfect for a talk show. He said he goes with the flow and throws in things that he knows are funny. He said he thinks David pays attention to what's happening in his life. He said you're making notes as you're going through your day. He said everything becomes work. He said Spade does a great job with that.
Jimmy said that Martin Short and Wanda Sykes are great guests too. He said Will Arnett and Jason Bateman are great guests too. Howard said Norm MacDonald is great too. He said no everyone gets him but he is so entertaining. He said Norm is another one of those quirky and funny guys. Jimmy said Dave Chappelle is great too. He said he's great at everything. Howard said that's a great list. Jimmy said Bryan Cranston is great too. He said some people don't even have to work at it and they're great.
Howard said Donald Trump was a great talk show guest. Jimmy said he is and that's what he should have stuck to. Howard said he misses him as a guest. He said he was fun to have on the show.
Howard said you have to love Jimmy Kimmel. Robin said he's going to go out on a tightrope and try to do the Emmys virtually with 10 million Wi-Fi connections.
Howard asked what happened to the table read for Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Jimmy said that was supposed to be tomorrow. He said he thinks it's coming out tomorrow. Jimmy said they did the read. He said they had some technical difficulties. He said they were pretty serious. Howard asked how it worked because they had a lot of famous people there. Jimmy said the technology wasn't working for them and they kept losing signal. He said it wasn't as free wheeling as they were hoping it would be. Howard said he'd like to see it. He said he wondered who played Phoebe Cates character. Jimmy said he did.
Howard said he had a whole thing prepped for him today. Jimmy asked what happened to the news. Howard said doing a show from the basement is rough. Robin said they don't have all of the equipment that they rely on. Howard said honestly he burns out. He said not Robin. He said he goes into a coma and they had to make some changes on the show. Jimmy asked if they will bring it back. Howard said of course but the real news is just ''stay home.''
Jimmy said he has another bone to pick with them. He said Ronnie gave him a sex tip about a year ago. He said that he was supposed to get a diagram from them for it but he never got it. Howard said he knows he's not joking about this. He said he really wanted to figure it out.
Jimmy asked Ronnie if he'll draw this thing out for him. He said he really wants to try it out. He said they should have a Ronnie's sex tip coloring book. He said that way they can refer to it. Howard said Ronnie can't even draw a clock. Jimmy said he can stop one for sure. Ronnie said he's not sure which one he's talking about. Jimmy said it was a body position thing. Ronnie asked what the act was. Jimmy said it was straight sex but the way his body was positioned was a revelation to him. He said he's not sure what it even was. Howard asked if it's the one where he puts his iPhone in Molly's vagina. Howard said it was some weird 69 position. Robin said it's where Molly is next to him and they all had trouble visualizing it.
Ronnie asked if it's where he's laying on his back and she's laying over him with her legs on his chest. Jimmy said yes. Ronnie said okay here's how that goes. He said he's on his back with his dick hard. He said she's on her back but she has her head to the side toward his dick. Jimmy was trying to draw this. Ronnie explained it again and said one of her legs is over his chest and the other is on the bed so her pussy is almost in his face. He said he can see everything going on there. He said he can't reach it with his mouth though. He said her ass is on the bed but he can see everything.
Howard interrupted and said that Molly just texted and said she's packing the RV so she can leave with the kids.
Howard asked if Molly would be up for this if Ronnie can explain it. Jimmy said Ronnie hasn't finished yet. Ronnie asked him to let him finish. Ronnie said he's facing the wall and laying on the bed normal. He said her left leg is across his chest and the other leg is on the other side of the bed. He said just one leg is straddling him. He said just one leg is on him. He said she takes out her vibrator or her hand and she starts playing with herself. Ronnie said at the same time she has her mouth on his dick and they're both enjoying what's going on. Jimmy asked if he would do this on the Emmys and present an award. Howard said this is insane.
Jimmy said this sounds like Ronnie isn't doing anything. Ronnie said he plays around her pussy with one hand. He said she's getting more into her vibrator. He said the more turned on she gets the more grip she has on his dick. Howard said this is like Cirque De Soleil for Creeps.
Howard asked to see the drawing Jimmy did. Jimmy said he has some work to do on it. Howard said he can't imagine Molly doing this. Jimmy said they have done his sex tips before and they're good. Robin asked if grey have all of this stuff she needs. Jimmy said she can use his vibrator.
Howard thanked the guys for all of that. Jimmy brought up Gary pissing on his feet to clear up his toe nail fungus. Howard got Gary on to give them an update. Gary said he has a piss jug and he goes into the shower every morning and douses his toes in urine. He said he puts it on for 60 seconds and then washes it off. He said he has Alexa time it for 60 seconds. Jimmy said Alexa must be like ''What the fuck are you doing?''
Jimmy said there's been so much happening on the show lately. He said Shuli moved to Alabama. He said no one in his organization has moved. Howard asked what he thinks about him moving. Jimmy said he's not sure how it's going to work practically. He asked if he will just be confined to chasing Wack Packers around. Howard said they're not working in the offices so grey don't need to be in the city. Jimmy said that's a hell of a commute. Howard said he thinks Shuli is saying that he doesn't want to come back if they have to move back to the offices there.
Howard got Shuli on to talk about that. Shuli said it came down to an issue of his family not being in a safe area for the kids. He said it's out of the way but his main concern was for his family. Robin said they want to know what will happen when they go back to the studio. Shuli said no one is going back right now. He said he'll come back to the city when Howard and Robin do. Howard said the staff might move back before he does. Shuli said he'll figure that out when the time comes. Shuli said that he had to get his family moved out of that area. Jimmy said he moved 1000 miles though. He said he could have moved 40 miles away. Shuli said they're all happy right now so that's what counts.
Howard said he did some math and there are 7 other states between there and Alabama. He said no other states appealed to him. Shuli said there are things that his wife can do down there.
Gary said that Benjy is saying that he might move to Tel Aviv if the show doesn't go back because the show would be starting at 2 in the afternoon there.
Howard thanked Shuli for that and said he's happy for him. Jimmy said he still doesn't get why he gets so angry about it when they ask him about the move. He said it's strange. Robin said maybe because it was a stupid idea. Shuli said it wasn't stupid to him. He said he's just having a discussion. Jimmy said it's not stupid at all if you know someone there. He said he was wondering if he was planing on living out his days in Alabama. Shuli said if it comes to that then yes. Jimmy asked if he knows something they don't. Shuli said that he does know High Register Sean.
Howard said Shuli knows something about Alabama that they don't know. He said he's not sharing it. Jimmy said that he's going to be the only comedian in Alabama. Shuli said he has the market on being the only Jewish comedian in Alabama.
Howard let Shuli go and gave Jimmy some plugs for the things he's working on. Howard said Don Rickles made his comedy career living in Alabama. He said Jimmy is hosting the Emmys from Alabama on Sunday night.
Howard said Jimmy is at the top of his game. He said he's the one they look for to host the Emmys. Robin said he used to run to the Up Fronts to make sure people still knew he was there. Howard said Jimmy has Who Wants to be a Millionaire. He said to take over that show and turn it into a hit is something. Robin asked if he's trying to beat Regis for his record number of TV show appearances.
Jimmy said he won an Emmy yesterday for All in the Family and Good Times. He said they beat the Oscars, Tony's and things like that. Robin said no wonder they won. She said not that it wasn't great. Jimmy said Norman Lear is the oldest Emmy winner now. He said he's 98.
Howard said he also lost an Emmy last night to James Corden's Carpool Karaoke. Jimmy said it was an odd category and he's not sure how they ended up in it. He said it was for online content.
Howard asked if he's nominated for any more. Jimmy said he is. He said he's up against John Oliver, Samantha Bee, Trevor Noah and someone else. He said he's not sure who it was. He said that might be it. Howard said he hopes he wins. Jimmy said thank you. He said he might just take the award since he'll be the only one there. Robin said hopefully that box thing will open up for him. Jimmy said his box will probably stay closed. He said that in his Ronnie voice.
Howard wrapped up with Jimmy and told him to give his love to Molly and the kids. Jimmy thanked him for having him on. Robin asked how old the kids are now. Jimmy said he has 29, 27, 6 and 3 year olds.
Jimmy went off with a Baba Booey. Howard said that Alanis Morissette will be hosting their Saturday Soundtracks this weekend. Howard got in a plug for Zip Recruiter who sponsored the show today. Howard said Machine Gun Kelly will be on the show next week. He wrapped up and ended the show around 10:40am.