Howard started the show talking to Robin about Eddie Vedder coming on the show today. He said he'll be with them this morning. He said he was supposed to come in live before the COVID thing hit. He said it never happened. He said they were hoping this thing would pass but it's never going to pass. He said that he's wanted to speak with Eddie for a long time. He said he spent all weekend listening to Pearl Jam Radio on SiriusXM. He said they do a good job there. He said he had it on all weekend and it's a good station. He said they have a good product there. Robin said they often play live performances.
Howard said he thinks their best song is ''Glorified G'' and Eddie hates the song. He said that he sings about it in a live version of the song. He played a clip of that where Eddie sings that he hates this song. Howard said it's one of their best. Robin said they have a lot of great ones. Howard said he's not sure why he hates it. He played the album version of the song. He said it's one of his favorites. Howard said Eddie will join them around 9 this morning.
Howard said he was getting a lot of calls about the whole thing and he was defending Ronnie. He said he could have finally gotten Ralph to talk about his sexuality. He said Ronnie just planted his feet in the ground and didn't budge. He said that it's like it would make him look less manly if he told them who he's voting for. He said he was acting like a little kid.
Howard said he was kind of annoyed and then he was thinking about celebrities who won't take a position. He said this election is a really big deal. He said they have these ''just vote'' ads. He said he's thinking just vote if you're voting the right way. He said that he thinks it's really important. He said there are celebrities who won't say because they don't want to piss off their public. He said Taylor Swift came out and said who she's voting for and she has 83 million followers. He said he's sure her handlers tell her not to do that. He said just be like the Dixie Chicks.
Howard said that guy Marc Anthony is a nice guy and he met him once and got to speak to him. He said Marc talked to the people of Puerto Rico about who he's voting for. He played a clip of this ad he did for the Puerto Rican people.
Howard said he was thinking he has some balls to do that. He said Ronnie should have stepped up for the show and said who he's voting for. He said he and Beth were dissecting it. He said Beth wondered if people really care who he votes for. He didn't think so. He said it was all about Ralph. He said he just wanted to find out if he's sucking dick or not. Robin said they could have had a great conversation about the whole thing. She said it was like hitting a brick wall and bouncing off. Howard said Ronnie could have been his hero.
Howard said they could have ended Wednesday with a great thing. He said whatever dude. Just like Ronnie says.
Howard asked what's going on in communist America. He said we want to know who the people want as President. He said that this has to piss people off. He asked where people are. He said he wants to know where the republicans and democrats are on this. He said the postal service is very important to this country. He said he feels like this is going on right in front of us and he's not sure how this is going on. He said they can't get Coronavirus under control but they can dismantle the postal service. He said he's had enough of it.
Howard said they used to have this great postal service that was their shining light. He said that if you're that good you don't have to fix an election.
Robin said she tried to get a mail in ballot and 3 weeks ago she sent in an application for a ballot and she got an answer back this past week. She said she has to go vote in person because it was too late to get her ballot. Howard said a lot of elderly people can't go out to vote so that's who this is affecting. He said its just really weird what's going on in this country. Robin said the real news looks like a cartoon. She said there was a video of some trump people following a Biden bus and the president was saying they're patriots and they should not be investigated.
Howard said that he just wants this to be over. He said he hates what's going on in this country.
Howard said now he's getting Avril Lavigne videos in his feed. He said that he's into her. He played some of what he was listening to over the weekend. Howard wondered if Eddie Vedder could be into that kind of music or would he think that's trite. Robin said she's not sure. She said that he may respect her for her abilities. Howard said he was saying that to Metallica. He said that they couldn't like something like that. He said he thinks they have mellowed and they can appreciate anyone who writes music. He wondered where Eddie is on that.
Howard said if he had a band he'd hate all of the other bands. Robin said they did that with the radio show. She said they hated all the other shows. Howard said he got older and found that he didn't have to do that.
Howard played more of the Avril Lavigne songs that he was listening to over the weekend. Robin said she has a great way of summing up how a girl feels. Howard said that's how he feels. He said she can sum up how he feels.
Howard played some of Avril Lavigne performing ''Sk8er Boi'' on their show. He said he wondered what she's up to now. He said that things change when you get older. He said he wonders if she tours around the old songs or what. Robin said she imagines she's touring with her old songs. Howard said he's not sure.
Robin said that she came in with the guy she was married to. Howard said they're not married now. He said that guy was in Nickleback. He said she was married to Chad Kroeger. He said he's not sure what happened there.
Howard said that Kelly Clarkson came in and said that Avril elbowed her in the face at an awards show. He said he likes that whole attitude. Howard said Eddie Vedder will be with them later.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in last week about Ronnie and Ralph. He read through some of that feedback. He said it inspired some song parodies too. He played one of those songs that a fan sent in.
Howard said that some listeners supported Ronnie. He read through some of that feedback.
Howard said that a lot of listeners think Ralph is gay and don't care if he talks about it on the show. He read through some of that feedback. Howard said he has to say Ronnie is his buddy but he ruined the show. Ronnie said he's sorry he feels that way. Howard said just say it and get him his answer on Ralph. Ronnie said he's not sure what to say about that. He said that he's not sure Ralph would have come clean.
Howard said he's not even sure what Sal said last week. He said he just wanted to know about Ralph and Ronnie had the key. Ronnie said there's no guarantee of that either. Howard said he was down for whatever.
Howard asked how he celebrated his birthday. Ronnie said he didn't really do anything. Howard said he didn't celebrate either because he didn't get to find out about Ralph.
Howard said something is up with Ronnie. He said he's not sure why this is important to him. Ronnie said it's just holding his ground. He said it's no one's business. Howard said he didn't care about that in 2016. Ronnie said this is 2020 and that was 2016. He said this is a year of fuck ups.
Howard said he could have helped him out. Ronnie said he knows. He said he'll go stand in the corner. Howard said he's not secretive about anything but this. He said he'll talk about anything. He said it's just weird. Robins said he could have changed his mind. She said that he changed. Ronnie said he gets his reports on things and he heard that they weren't putting people through that wanted to defend him. Howard said that's bullshit.
Howard told the call screener to come on and talk about this. He said he wants to find out the truth. Ronnie said this is what he heard. Howard said he's going to get him the truth. He asked Mark the call screener to get on. The guys had to get in touch with him. Ronnie said he has people on Twitter telling him that they weren't able to get through. He said they say they were hung up on. Howard said according to Mark that's not true.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that Ronnie picked Trump over him. He said that's what he did. Howard said maybe he did. King said the bet was that he had to vote for Biden. Howard said he didn't pick Trump over him. He said he just chose not to help him out and he gets it. He said he begged him. Ronnie said he knows.
Howard said Ronnie wanted to humiliate him. Howard took a call from a guy who said that Wednesday show was an emotional roller coaster. He said he's not sure Ronnie realizes what he's doing here. He said it's like Jackie pulling content from the show. Ronnie said he's not holding anything over anyone's head. Howard said he held the keys to the bit. Ronnie said there was no guarantee they'd get the truth. The caller said he's in turmoil over this. He said he's not mad but he's frustrated.
Howard said he can't believe Ronnie didn't help him out. Ronnie said that he was treated poorly for 3 weeks. He said Howard doesn't get that. Howard said he didn't treat him that way. Ronnie said he didn't say he did but he was treated poorly for 3 weeks so he stood his ground. Howard said he's so glad he did.
Howard asked if he'll tell them now if he can get Ralph on the phone. Ronnie said no. Howard said this is killing him. Robin said this opportunity may never come around again. Howard said he broke his heart. Ronnie said he can only apologize to him about it. Howard said he broke his heart. He said he sat there in shock for 2 days.
Ronnie said he won't even tell Stephanie who he voted for. Howard said that's the most bizarre thing ever. Ronnie said that she told him who he's voting for but he won't tell her. He said he isn't telling anyone. He said he stood his ground and it's no one's business. Howard asked why he would do that. Ronnie said he just doesn't want to. Howard said there has to be a reason. Ronnie said it's no one's business.
Howard asked why he won't tell the woman he's in love with who he's voting for. He asked what his reasoning was. Ronnie said he just didn't want to tell her. Robin asked if he tells her everything. Ronnie said he just went in and voted and mailed it in without her knowing who. He said he won't tell anyone who he's voting for. Howard laughed. He said he doesn't mean to laugh. He said what's crazy is that he doesn't have a reason. Ronnie said that's his decision and that's how he feels.
Howard said when he was ill he didn't share it with the audience. He said not because he just decided. He said he felt that the audience would give him medical advice. He said that he had a reason. Ronnie said he doesn't need to hear comments from everyone. He said that's why. Howard asked if he felt like Stephanie was going to badger him. Ronnie said he didn't know. Howard laughed again. He asked what the fuck is going on with him. He said he's losing his mind in quarantine.
Robin said Stephanie has the ability to be with him no matter what and he didn't tell her. Ronnie said he's just not telling anyone. He said he's very stubborn. Howard asked if he hides other things from her. Ronnie said he shares things with her. He said no one can ask her now who he voted for. He said she can say no. Howard asked if he's as important as the Beatles now. Ronnie said according to some people he's an influencer. He said that's why he has to tell everyone. Howard said they wanted to find out if Ralph sucked dick. He said that's why they wanted to know last week.
Howard said that Jay and Roddy have been very busy with writing songs. He played a song parody they wrote about Ralph. They wrote the song parody he played about Ronnie earlier too.
Howard said that he'll be there for Ronnie no matter what. He started singing ''You've Got a Friend in Me'' to him again.
Howard got Mark the phone screener on the line. He asked if he somehow hung up on the Ronnie supporters and only let the haters through. Mark said absolutely not. He said he's never done anything to Ronnie and he slandered him. Ronnie said he's just going by what people told him. He said it wasn't just Twitter. He said he got personal calls too. Robin asked what they know. Howard said this is the guy who screens the calls. He said he's questioning his integrity. Ronnie said he's just going by what he's told. Robin said he could have talked to Mark. Ronnie said Mark doesn't talk to him. Mark said he's been to his house. Ronnie said he was just doing a story. Mark said he thought they were cool. Ronnie said he never said they weren't.
Howard asked Mark to swear that he didn't hang up on the callers. Mark said he swears he wouldn't do that. He said he's sorry that Ronnie feels hurt. Ronnie said he's not hurt.
Howard had Ronnie Puppet get on to make a statement. Fred did his thing with the puppet and had him talking about a lot of people on Twitter, Myspace and Facebook telling him all of this stuff.
Howard asked if Ronnie believes Mark or does he still think he's lying. Ronnie said he never said he was lying. He said he just heard from people. Howard asked if he believes he's telling the truth. Ronnie said ''Yeah, I guess.'' Robin asked why Mark would want to stack the deck against him. Ronnie laughed and said its more interesting that way.
Howard said he has Ralph on the phone now. He said that he still won't answer though. Mark said he can text him if he wants to find out the truth. Ronnie said he doesn't even have his number. Howard said he'll give it to him.
Robin asked why Howard read the email of the people who sported Ronnie. Howard said he always gives both sides. He said that he has supporters. He said that ''whatever duu...''
Ronnie said he paid for this the whole weekend. Robin asked how. Ronnie said don't worry about it. Howard said maybe Stephanie didn't use lube on the dildo. Ronnie Puppet said that he wants to know why he didn't want to see Beth in her bra. Howard said that could have happened and that was weird that Ronnie didn't want to see that. Ronnie said he wouldn't do that.
Howard said he still respects Ronnie and he's still his friend. Howard thanked Mark for calling in. Mark had a few more things to say before Howard wrapped up with the whole thing.
Robin asked if he Ronnie has ever changed his mind after taking a stand. Ronnie said pretty much no. Howard got in a plug for Casper Mattress for sponsoring the show today. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked Gary if he has something to say. Howard said this is Elle King. He said he thought this song was good. Gary said that's Rob Schneider's daughter. Howard said he liked it because of the song, not just because it's Rob's daughter. Robin wondered why she didn't have the Schneider name. Howard said that name can open up a lot of doors in Hollywood. Robin mentioned that she saw that he's an international comedy star. Howard said of course he is. Robin said she wasn't so sure about that.
Howard said that it's the day before the election. Robin said she thought he was going to talk about Sean Connery. Howard said he's going to do that. They had a tech issue with Eddie Vedder's tech guy so they were disrupted for a second.
Howard went over Sean Connery's career and went through the stuff he did. Robin said she was a really big fan. She said they were at some event disrupting things for Sean and grey were getting yelled at. She said she ran up to see Sean there. She said that she had those feelings for him that she had never had before. She said that she had those sexual feelings and didn't know what they were. She said she just knew she liked that person. Howard said he was like that with Honey West. He said that was Anne Francis. He said he was really attracted to her.
Howard said that Sean came from nothing. He said he slept in a drawer in a dresser as a baby. He said he had to get a job at 9 years old. He said he joined the Royal Navy at 16. He said that he had a shitty childhood. He said he played James Bond 7 times. He said that the next James Bond was George Lazenby. Robin said she knew that. She said that movie didn't make any money so he only played Bond once. Howard said Roger Moore and the others followed him.
Howard said that he turned down Live and Let Die and that was a lot of money he turned down. Robin said he had no more desire to reprise that role. She said he did it after that though.
Howard said Sean Connery co-wrote a James Bond movie in the 70s and it was about nuclear bomb carrying sharks. Robin said that sounds familiar. Howard said it sounds like a movie Benjy would be in.
Howard read about Connery winning the world's sexiest man title at the age of 59. Howard said Robin met a guy in the Bahamas that sounded like Connery so she fucked him. Robin said that's about right.
Howard played some clips of Connery from some of those Bond movies. He had some of the more famous lines he said.
Howard said that Robin loved him so much that she introduced herself as ''Quivers, Robin Quivers'' when he said hello for the first time.
Howard said that Dana Carvey did a great impression of Sean Connery. He played a clip of that impression.
Howard said he should mention that Darrell Hammond did a great Sean Connery impression. He played a clip from a sketch they did on Saturday Night Live.
Howard said he wasn't a huge fan of his but he liked 007 and all. He said the turn off for him was that this guy did an interview with Playboy magazine and said it was okay to slap a woman. He said Barbara Walters did an interview 22 years later and asked him about that. He played the clip of Connery talking about how he hasn't changed his mind about that.
Howard said that Sean died at the age of 90. He said that he had some form of Dementia. Robin said she saw him a few years ago at a tennis match. She said goodbye to Sean Connery. Howard said maybe a woman slapped him around while he was old and feeble and shook up his brain.
Howard took a call from fake Sean Connery who was talking about how happy he was to hear about awakening her Octopussy. He had a few other lines like that for her.
Robin said he was so popular as James Bond that they had cards like baseball cards for him.
Howard said that one listener thinks that Richard's wife should be praised. He read that and they said that she has to put up with Richard. Howard said he has a picture of the cleaned bathroom. He showed it to Robin. Robin said it's sparkling now.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that her hall pass was Sean Connery so she's wondering if she has to pick a new one or is that it. Howard said he never understood that hall pass thing. He said that you're either his or not. He said that he'd never let his wife have a hall pass. He said no woman is looking to fuck him. He said that he's never going to get fucked. He said he knows guys want to fuck Beth though. He said what a dopey thing.
The caller said that her husband's hall pass is Scarlet Johansson and she just got married. Howard said this whole hall pass thing is stupid. He said he hates it. He said he doesn't want to know who Beth wants to fuck. He said he'll give her Benjy. He said that he might get Susan Boyle or someone like that. He said he's not sure she'd even fuck him. He said he was so gross that no women would look at him when he'd go out. He said this hall pass thing is stupid.
Howard said Beth's hall pass is ''Me!'' He said that he's going to be her hall pass. He said it would be really great to know that Beth got to fuck her hall pass. He said it's all bullshit. He said there's a one in a billion chance that her husband got to fuck Scarlet Johansson and she's hate it. The caller said she wouldn't.
Robin said she was dating a guy and she told him that if he wanted to be with Brigitte Nielsen she'd have to let him go. Howard said he knows who she's talking about and Brigitte Nielsen wasn't looking for that.
Howard let the caller go and said who cares if you have a hall pass. The caller kept asking if she should pick another hall pass.
Howard said most of the buildings are built paper thin. He said you move in and get your stuff in and then you hear people yelling. He said there's mice or whatever. He said you should be allowed to test drive the apartment. Robin said it might not happen in the first week.
JD said he had a woman who lived next to him that had her TV so loud that he knew her TV schedule. He said she went to bed early though so that was good. Howard said you have to look out for your fellow man and care about your neighbors. He said these old people blast the TV and it's so fucking loud. He said his parents are 92 and 97 and they blast their TV really loud. He said it's outrageous. He said he told his mother to put on some headphones. He said she refuses to wear them. That led to Howard doing impressions of his parents talking about how they can't hear the TV.
Howard asked JD if he has a year or two lease. JD said it's almost 2. He said it's decent enough. Howard said don't ask the neighbors to quiet down. He said they'll make it 3 times worse.
Howard told the story about living in Hartford and how horrible his neighbor was. He said they'd play music until 4 in the morning. He said he had to get up at 4 to go to work. He said he made the mistake of going to them and ask them to turn down the music. He said that he went over to them and introduced himself. He said that they were home day and night. He said they were two assholes always partying. He said they hung signs on his door about free speech and how they had it if he had it on the radio. Howard said grey were the dumbest fucking people. He said the guy was a moron. He said one night he asked him to quiet down and then it was war. He said they would be banging on his wall right next to his bed. He said then the music would come on. He said what a dick that guy was.
Howard said he was so happy he got out of there and went to Detroit. He said he thanked God for getting him out of there and into Detroit. Robin asked why he's not religious then. Howard asked who said he's not. He said you start believing in God when that happens.
JD said when he lived in Brooklyn some people moved into the apartment below him and they had these bass speakers that were thumping all the time. He said he didn't say a word to them. He said he just took it.
Hard said he had a guy in his apartment building who had a piano in his apartment. He said if you live in an apartment you should have a keyboard with headphones. He said this asshole would play the same song every night before he went to bed. He said it was just one song that would wake him up. He said he got a hold of the guy and told him that everyone can hear it. He said he told him the walls were thin. He said this guy was kind of reasonable and asked what time he can play. He said he gave him his schedule and told him to play when he's not home.
Gary said when he met Mary she had a neighbor above her that was called Thunderfoot. He said she wrote him a letter asking him to quiet down and she got a letter back from a lawyer who said that she was harassing the guy and she had to leave him alone.
Howard said he has to sleep and he had neighbors who would wake him up so he would buy the apartment above him to make sure it was quiet. He said he had to do that to get a good night's sleep.
Robin said she's sorry to hear that JD had to move into that place. JD said it's okay.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who said he was going to ask about that show. He said it's great. He said he's trying to find someone to play chess against in person. Howard said it's a maddening game. He said he got up to 1800 or so. He said that he had to stop though. He said it becomes an obsession. He said if you start too old then you're never going to be the best. He said it was a tremendous effort for him. He said he would obsess on the game. He said he'd be trying to go to bed and he'd think about the game he played over and over. He said that Beth was so happy that he quit because he was so obsessive about the game. He said he has mad respect for anyone who is good at it. He said it takes a gift and dedication to be into that game.
Howard said that you never feel stupider than when you play chess. He said he went to the Marshall Chess Club and he lost to a 12 year old. He said that he won one against a woman but this kid beat him and it was humiliating.
Howard said there was a painter who started playing chess and it ruined his life. He said he can't remember the guy's name though. He said the game can ruin your life. He said you have to be all in.
Mike was giving details about the show so Howard told him not to spoil it for people.
Mike asked about what to do with their new cat because they were told to keep them separated for a month. Howard said he's heard 2 weeks. He said you can put them in the same room and let them smell each other. He said that you do have to keep them separated for a couple of weeks. Robin said you have to make sure they don't give each other any diseases. Mike said he thinks a couple of weeks is fine. Howard said check with your vet. Robins said give them as much time as they need.
Mike brought up his dog and asked Howard about how much he misses his dog. Howard said he was looking for pictures to paint and he found a picture of one of their cats that he lost. He said that really got to him. He said then they were talking about their dog Bianca and their cat Leon. He said life is too much. He said that it's a lot to lose these pets. Mike said he's not going to get another dog and go through that loss again.
Howard said go to a pound and save an older dog that's stuck in a cage. He said that they want to be with people. He said that he and his wife are so into animal rescue. He said they're so appreciative of the people who take these animals in.
Robin said that Dennis had to put down his dog and they did it in the home with the family around and they got to say goodbye to Finn. Howard said he's the one who has to do it. He said it's so bad. Robin said she has had to do that too.
Howard said he has Eddie Vedder coming on soon. He said he should get to him. He said that he has a new Flirty Gary call to play and some other things to play. He said he's going to take a short break and talk to Eddie.
Howard said he and Robin worked for a station called K-Rock and they played alternative music. He said they played Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Soundgarden and cool stuff like that. He said grey barely played music on their show but they were able to play some cool stuff when grey did. He said at WNBC they played the shittiest music. He said it was really bad stuff. He said he loved working there at K-Rock. He said they had some cool music they could play. He said Stone Temple Pilots would come in and play a lot. He said Scott Weiland was so talented. He said he could not get off drugs. He said he talked to him about it off the air once. He said he has to ask Eddie if he knew him. He said he has to take a break first though. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and talked about how exciting it is to have Eddie Vedder coming on. He said they were going to have Eddie in earlier in the year but the COVID-19 thing happened. He said that he still can't believe that's going on. He said they never got to have that moment with Eddie. He said that they're going to do it over Zoom instead.
Howard asked if Eddie is ready. Gary said he's coming in now. Howard said he has a bunch of things to ask him about. Howard said look at you. Eddie said he can't see him. Howard asked if he can see him now. Eddie said he can now. He said he's postage stamp small. Howard said people get grossed out by him so they keep him small.
Howard said that this room he's in has a lot of guitars. He said he has a room like that but he can't play. He asked if this is a room in his home. Eddie said it's in the back yard so he can keep it out of the house. He said he can still look back and see the house and the kids. He said it's close to them so he can be really close.
Howard asked Eddie about writing and if he wakes up and says he's going to work and goes to the back yard. He said is it like that or just when the mood hits him. Eddie said he'd try to do that but he does it when the mood hits him. He said that he's curious to hear stories and things about artists. He said a lot of them drank coffee. He said he does the same thing.
Howard said he talked to Jerry Seinfeld about writing jokes and how he does it every day. He said he will take out a legal pad and write jokes down. He said this guy has a billion dollars but he has this discipline. He asked if that's his approach to song writing. Eddie said that what he likes about that is that you're not upset with yourself if you don't come up with the perfect thing. He said it might not be the song you set out to write. He said it leads you and it's something different. He said it might not be as good as you think it needs to be but at least you have a guy on first. He said that will get you to the next one. He said that Jerry has it on paper and he would say that with musicians you need to record it. He said there's something in the rhythm when you play it. He said it might be the one time that it sounds different. He said that it can be magic. He said you always have to record. He said that you can do it on a phone now but he doesn't like to do that so much.
Howard asked if he goes into a room does he go in and channel something about his mother or father or a life experience. He said that for him he had a defining moment in his life when his mother said to a kid who said the N-word his mother said that he was half black. He said he was glad that she stood up for race relations. He said that he talks about that in his life. He said he's wondering if he would write about his father not liking him or does he just wait for the inspiration. Eddie said a good writer could do that. He said for him he's self conscious and wants something not from his own brain. He said he's opening up the airwaves to let all of your nerve endings firing and opening up to that thing that might be out there. He said then those issues might come up. He said when the movie ''Into the Wild'' came up Sean Penn asked him to write a couple of songs. He said that he wanted him to be the inner voice of the kid in the movie and that was a good boundary to have. He said he wasn't used to that but he found it helpful. He said he was tapping into stuff as a kid that he went through. He said that he could not believe how close to the surface it was. He said he thought that it had been buried with the other nuclear waste on the planet. He said it came up and it was a bit terrifying it was. He said it was still a part of him and it was very deep but it came right up to the surface.
Howard said he thinks about great song writers and how he thinks that he'd be in a panic trying to write a song. Howard said he has terrible OCD and tried to write a song about it. He said it sounded like shit. He asked how you know when it's good enough to present to the band. He asked if it's hard to do that. Eddie asked if he was writing in 3 words and 3 lines and all of that. Howard said doesn't know what was happening. He said he used a Nine Inch Nails song as a template. He said he doesn't know how to do that. He said that he's wondering how Eddie does it. He asked if he worries about writing something trite or frivolous. Eddie said he has. He said those are some of those guys on first or on the bench still.
Eddie said he remembers feeling that way on the second record. He said the first one he just kind of wrote. He said that he had been writing songs on his own and then he's working with the best musicians. He said things just fell out. He said that they had an idea that people were going to hear it. He said the first one they didn't know. He said he was hoping to sell 40,000 records and he'd be allowed to sell another. He said that they kept going after that and then the second record came and he felt some pressure. He said he wondered what people were going to think. He said before that he felt much more free.
Howard said that can be a death sentence for a song writer. He said it's so pure and then it can be like that. He said they hit so quickly they weren't able to go out and tour that much. He said it's insane the pressure they must have had. He said you don't want to disappoint the fans or the record company. Eddie said it's a good problem to have. He said he wishes he had handled things a little differently. He said he should have enjoyed the ride. He said that it is a fucking roller coaster. He said if someone had told him to just enjoy it then maybe he could have. He said his instincts were like things weren't okay. He said they got into a band so they didn't have to have bosses. He said they were good people and they were working hard. He said things were moving really quick for them. He said they were coming at it as real people and not someone like a celebrity. Eddie said they had a little bit of a difficult relationship with that reality. He said that was okay because they were real people about it. He said they had a good scene there and things changed a bit. He said some of his crowd back in the day held their band in great disdain. He said some people liked it and some resented it or hated their music. He said he agreed with them on all points.
Howard asked Eddie if he took it personally when the band started out and Kurt Cobain would tell them that they were too commercial or pop or whatever. He asked if that got to him. He said that he's not sure why they have to be so competitive. He said he probably felt like he was in competition in some way.
Eddie said that he could have agreed with some of the things he said. He said that there were some of the local bands that he liked like Mud Honey. He said there were things that they didn't fit in with out there on the scene. He said the only thing that bothered him about that was that it was public. He said that they weren't going back and forth. He said they didn't have an issue but they had pulled quotes out that went back and forth. He said that made for interesting press. He said it was kind of us against the world. He said that he still thinks back about how there was a real scene. He said it was a real scene out there and there was music everywhere. He said that bands would play and hang out and all of that. He said there would be an after party in a old house and then they'd have people from different bands playing together. He said it was great times.
Howard said those bands really were great. He said he was talking about Scott Weiland earlier. He asked if he knew him at all. He said Scott used to do the show all the time with him. He said they were on K-Rock and they were playing cool music back in the 90s. He said they also played all of that music back then. He said it drove him crazy that Scott was so talented and he couldn't get over that addiction. He said he just wasn't able to do it. Howard asked if he knew him at all. Eddie said he didn't. Howard said he was so frustrated. Eddie said when you're that handsome something is going to happen. Howard asked if he considers himself handsome. He said he thinks he is. Eddie said that he doesn't see himself that way. Howard said yes you do. He said when you're a front man for a band you have to. He said he wouldn't say that he dances like a front man but when he'd climb up on rafters and stuff he does that because he doesn't dance. He said his theory was that was his form of dance to hold the audience's attention. He said that he thinks it was him being compelled to hold their attention.
Eddie said he loves music and loved it. He said he loves live music. He said he would pump gear to get into some live shows. He said that he'd go to these shows and he'd do whatever he had to just to get into the shows. He said that was his way of pretending to be a working musician too. He said he'd be in the crowd and you'd wait for something to happen. He said Nine Inch Nails came out and they were blowing their minds. He said they stood in those crowds waiting for 3 hours for the band to come out. He said when grey did come out they blew their minds. He said during those times he'd be at the Metro in Chicago or in one of those theaters where they had things out there. He said he'd look at that stuff and think about how fun it would be to climb them. He said he could climb up and hang off that light thing and then flip into the crowd. He said that just came from him being bored between shows. He said he never thought he'd have the opportunity to do it but when it came he did it.
Howard said he's not a risk taker. He said he'd see him climbing those things and he thought it was unbelievable. He asked if he worried about falling. Eddie said they were 24-25 and the music was powerful and it was always during just one song which was ''Porch.'' He said the whole idea of the song is that you only live once. He said so much of their art is about living in the moment. He said that was him expressing the meaning of the song. He said he wanted to get the audience into it with him but he never wanted to risk their lives either. He said it's amazing that it worked out. Howard said he would have sat him down and told him never to climb like that. He said he can't fuck this thing up. He asked if the band ever sat him down like that. Eddie said they had lost their singer to a heroin overdose so now that he thinks about that it was irresponsible. He said it was their first tour and you're pent up and this is the job you've wanted your whole life. He said that you want to make an impact so it was bordering on silly. Eddie said that punk rock shows were crazy like that too. He said that you see them doing crazy stuff like that out there and you want to do that as part of your art form. He said it wasn't the craziest thing to do.
Howard said he could do a 15 hour interview with him just on his growing up. He said it's one of the most saddening and mind blowing things. He said he's still sane after all of that. Eddie said he's okay now. Howard said he's so curious about this. He said he was born in Chicago and they moved to San Diego. He said his mother and father lied to him. He said that his mother remarried and she told him that the new husband was his biological father. Howard said that has to be so painful. He said that then his step father leaves him and he wasn't even nice to him. He said then he finds out his real father is alive. Howard said it would take him 9 billion visits to a therapist to get through that. Howard asked if he ever asked his mother about that. Eddie said he had to come to terms with most of that stuff if not all of it. He said it happened fairly quickly. He said that he had to keep his shit together and since then he has felt like he and his mom have a great relationship. He said he has tried with other people with less success. Howard asked if he has forgiven his mother for not telling him who his biological father was. He said he must have a lot of questions about it. Eddie said that what's interesting is that he had 3 younger brothers and this was in 1969 or something. He said that their logic was that they wanted them to feel like brothers and not step brothers. He said these days you have single moms raising kids and it's not a social pariah. He said that logic was there and it may have been skewed or not. He said he was told at 15 or 16 about who his real father was and he wasn't being treated well by this guy who raised him. Howard said it was this guy Mueller. He said that this guy treated him poorly. He asked if he was physically abusive or mentally. Eddie said he has blocked some of this out. He said that he thinks that he may have been a little bit out of control. He said that his mom moved back to Chicago and he stayed in California. Howard said he was living on his own at 15. He said he was working to support himself. He said that he was getting poor grades and he pulled out bills he had to pay at 15 years old. Eddie said that he showed the teacher what reality really was when he told him that school was reality. He said he knows what it's like to be under the lion's paw.
Howard said the first song he wrote was ''Alive'' and it was about his father. He said that was about the abandonment. He said this horror in his life is what got him into the band. Eddie said that was a few years after he found out and it was still there. He said you do get to make music about that and you can make something out of complete shit. He said that's what's great about the arts.
Eddie said when his mom told him this guy wasn't his father it was a shock but he was like ''Thank god...'' Howard said he must have been glad he didn't come out of that guy's balls.
Howard asked about what it was like when he found out the family friend who came to visit was his father. He asked if he ever went to a shrink to go through all of that. Eddie said he thinks that he his channeled it into other things. He said that he has been to the shrink but not for that. He said that he has a guitar that guy gave him. He didn't know him very well but he gave him a guitar. He said that he plays it like once a year. He said that he had little connections to him. He said that he can't change those things and he had nothing to do with why it happened. He said he just thinks about all of the issues that people have in the world. He said he was fortunate to be born a white male in America. He said that he won't complain about that stuff. Howard said he's amazed by that. He said he goes to a psychiatrist and he has so much anger and he doesn't have half the issues that Eddie does.
Howard said Eddie's parents took in kids and they raised them like it was a business. Eddie said that the house is still there in Evanston, Illinois. He said that the father was going to law school and they had this home for boys and he was probably 8. He said he had 12-16 year olds living there. He said they were pretty troubled. He said they had a turntable and a record collection down in the basement. He said they had James Brown, Sly and the Family Stone and the Jackson 5 to play.
Howard asked Eddie about how he had to share the home with 15 other kids and if it was a nightmare for him. Eddie said in some ways he became brothers. He said there was a guy named Nick and one named Maurice who were like brothers. He said they were together for at least 2 years. Howard asked if he still knows them. Eddie said no. He said he tried to look for them after their first record and that wasn't successful. He said he hasn't heard from them. He said there were some interesting things that happened. He said it wasn't all good but it was a different kind of thing. He said that's there's a line in Tommy about ''Mr. Normal'' and he didn't want to be like that. He said that when he found out his dad wasn't his dad that was an interesting twist. He said his life got way more interesting after that.
Howard said he can laugh about that and joke about that stuff but he wouldn't put his kids thorough that. Eddie said that would be a choice and he's not sure what their choices were back then.
Eddie said he gets along with his mom now and his brothers too. He said they're his best friends. Howard said he's glad he didn't have a brother because he wouldn't have been able to handle it. He said he probably would have killed a brother.
Howard asked Eddie if he just sat in a room playing over and over again to learn how to play. Eddie said that he can't fool him and say yes because he'd be able to play better if he did. He said that he had a few lessons. He said his parents got him his first guitar at 12. He said they got him an electric guitar. He said he begged them to give him a birthday and Christmas present combined. He said his birthday is on December 23 so grey did that and that was a huge thing for him.
Eddie said his teacher showed him how to play bar chords and that was helpful. He said that his great guitar teacher, Bud Whitcolm, helped him out a lot. He said that he just wanted to write though. He said that became his focus. He said that he studied what structure is and all of that kind of stuff. He said that he had to connect chords to make music.
Howard asked Eddie if he was really shy and didn't want to be a front man. Eddie said he just wanted to play music and do it for his own sanity. He said that he waned to be able to make music. He said that he's not sure if Jerry Seinfeld if he comes up with a great line does he walk into the kitchen being 10 times better than when he woke up. He said that he may have found his special purpose and having a good song can be like that for him. He said he may play the song in his car 3 times and think about how great it is that he can do this for a living. He said you can create a song out of nothing and have something that didn't exist and play it for someone else. He said that drives you. He said that's what he was after right from the get go.
Eddie said he worked hard giving out fliers for their band. Howard said the band became really successful really fast. He said they didn't get to go out on the road and get the experience. Eddie said that he's glad they had that. He said when Howard puts it that way he's glad he didn't have to do that handing out fliers for another year.
Howard asked Eddie when they do a cover song how does he pick that song. He said he knows The Who were a big influence on him. He said that he thinks ''Reign O'er Me'' is their best song. Eddie said he did that song for an Adam Sandler movie and he asked him if they can not do that song. He said they did it and it was a great experience. He said it was tough and it became something that was great to perform live. Howard played some of the song and he said he loves some of the songs they choose to cover.
Howard said when grey do a Beatles song or a John Lennon song it's really an interesting process. Howard said he covered the song ''Keep Me In Your Heart'' by Warren Zevon. He said Warren knew he was dying and he did that song on David Letterman's show. He said that he remembers him performing the song on Letterman and how tough it was to watch. Howard said he's not sure how anyone can listen to that song and not cry. He said it's one of the most perfect songs. Eddie said he did that song for Dave when he won the Mark Twain award. Howard asked if he ever met Warren. Eddie said he didn't. He said he owes a call to Crystal who Warren was married to. He said he heard that she was parting with some of his books and he asked if he could get a book for Dave. He said that she gave him a very special book and a Hunter S. Thompson book that he had given to Warren.
Howard said he saw Warren at the Bottom Line. He said he fell off the stage that night and he wondered if he was drunk or what. He said he really hurt himself. Eddie asked if it wasn't a stage dive. Howard said it wasn't.
Howard asked Eddie if he could play that song for them now. Eddie said sure. He said this is a J-200 guitar. He said they sound the best. He said if he's standing up he'll put a smaller one on. He said this one feels pretty good though. Eddie performed the song ''Keep Me In Your Heart'' for him.
Howard said that had to be his best song ever. Eddie said he had a lot of great songs but that one is hard to come by.
Howard said that with he and Eddie he goes on the air all the time and says the greatest Pearl Jam song of all time is Glorified G. He said that he thinks it's the best song he knows and then he read that he hates that song. He said he doesn't like performing it. He said that he doesn't get that. Howard said when he did this song live he sings that he hates this song. He played the clip he played earlier in the show where he sings that he hates this song. Eddie laughed. He said that might be later in the set and he probably hung out with his brothers and it sounds like his voice is struggling there. He said that song is tough to sing. He said it was nothing personal.
Howard asked if that's why he avoids the song. Eddie said that in the end they all take a lot of effort. He said the last few years the shows are getting longer and he's getting older. Howard asked why that is. He asked if he has to give people a show that's longer because he feels like it owes it to the audience. Eddie said if you don't feel depleted then yeah. He said you want to get it all out because they came out to see you.
Howard said he was watching this AC/DC song with Bruce Springsteen. He asked if that's a huge rush for him to be pals with Bruce. Eddie said he was touring solo and Bruce was with his band and he was playing these huge stadiums. He said they ended up in the same cities at the same time so they'd have shows around the same time. He said it was just a great rock and roll field trip. He said that night they had a night off so grey ran over to the show and Bruce was asking to see him. He said he didn't want to bother him so he said no but they said he really wanted to see him. He said Bruce insisted so he said he had an idea. He did his Bruce impression asking him to do the AC/DC song ''Highway to Hell.'' He said that he didn't have to stick around after that. Eddie said that's how it went. He said that he got the lyrics and they did it. He said the best part of that whole thing is sitting across from those people doing the song before the main show. He said that moment is just the best.
Howard said whenever he watches him do that clip he gets emotional for him. He said he feels like Bruce is kind of not giving him enough attention. He said they should have shared the microphone together. He said Bruce should have been more brotherly to him. Eddie said what you have to see is when they did Vote for Change maybe 12-16 years ago. He said they played Jersey and they did ''Darkness'' and they did ''NO Surrender'' and ''Better Man''. He said Clarence was still around. He said watch that one. He said he'll see all of the stuff he just mentioned. He said he's very engaging with 70,000 people in that other show. Howard said he was very protective of him.
Howard asked about Neil Young and what a great guy he is. He said that he got to interview him and he's amazing. He said that he feels like he's a father figure to him. He said he gets the feeling that he'd tell him when he's fucking up. Eddie said he took the whole band under his wing around the second record. He said then he kind of tapped into the energy of their group. He said he went into the hall of fame and he played with Crazy Horse on that and then they did a DC benefit together. He said after that they did one song together and Neil tried to make a whole record with the group. He said that was early on. He said everything he taught them at the time resonated and it came at a time when they needed to be taught. He said they needed a north star and a compass and he provided that.
Eddie said Neil went for a walk with him and told him that there would be people who tried to take him from the band. Eddie said that he hadn't had that problem yet. He said that he looks back on that now and thinks about how he left Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. Howard said so many guys blow that thing up. He said that Neil blew the whole thing up and walked way from it but it worked out for him. He said it's a miracle when it works out. Eddie said that they're really proud of their last album and they're very loyal people. He said this all came about in a new way for them. He said they've been playing for 28 years or something and they got more joy and productivity than ever. He said that was a thrill. He said he's a loyal guy.
Howard said on that he thinks that he's the leader of the band. He asked if someone says to him that he's wrong is he going to listen to that bullshit. Eddie laughed. Howard said you know how it works. He asked if he bit his lip and listened to those guys? Eddie said that if you bring a song in and you're presenting it then he'll do what he can to bring it to them to bring their vision come to fruition. He said he likes that part of the job. He said Matt Cameron writes great songs and melodies too. He said he'll do to their songs what they do for his songs. Eddie said Bruce is playing for the 50th year with the E Street Band. He said that works for them. He said he thinks it's a great thing when the band wants more ownership over their songs.
Howard asked what it's like to go to Neil Young's ranch and if he asks him how he writes songs. He asked what the behavior is there. Eddie said he would ask him if he wrote songs quick and things like that. He said that there are some great songs that he wanted to know about. He said Neil told him one of his favorite songs took him 2 or 3 years to write. He said that Bruce told him about how to sing ''Darkness on the Edge of Town.'' He said there are little things you pick up.
Howard asked if he has to memorize the songs or are they just all there. He said that he can't remember anything. He asked what's in his head right now. Eddie laughed and said there's always room for more. He said sometimes you have to kick some songs out of there. He said that there's only so many rooms for rent up there. Howard asked if he has to listen to the songs to get them into his head. Eddie said if it's a song they haven't done in a while they have to rehears it. He said they might play something they haven't played in 10 years. He said they'll quickly go over them again. He said sometimes he has them on cardboard and duct tape that he'll scribble out. He said he may have some beer or wine and it becomes harder to remember the little words.
Howard asked if he's into weed or mushrooms or anything. Eddie said he had his time with that stuff. He said he thinks that he still has a cocktail. He said after having kids he hasn't done anything psychedelic. He said that you never know when you'll be called to duty. He said when they turn 18 then they're going for the edibles.
Howard said he hears that the edibles are so strong that you'll be blasted out of your mind.
Eddie said he was going to ask Howard about his love of music. He said he had a good sound system and he just upgraded. He said it's changing his life to have a great stereo and not just in the car. He said it's a real High-Fi thing. He asked if he has a set up like that. Howard said he doesn't care about vinyl that much. He said he remembers buying stuff. He said he does have a good sound system and he loves painting while listening.
Howard asked Eddie about his painting. He said that he's trying to do perspective and it's really hard. He said its ruining painting. He said he read that Eddie gave it up because he didn't want to learn math. Eddie said for quite some time. He said you can have someone who teaches you and it ruins you. He said you have to know when to stop. He said if you have something you truly love then you have to know how to preserve that.
Howard asked Eddie how he writs his songs. He said he knows that some people write in the shower and things but Eddie likes to write while surfing. Howard asked about writing ''Alive'' after surfing. He asked what the process was. Eddie said he had just come back from a camping trip after working the midnight shift. He said that he had a tape from Jack Irons and he was trying to do something to come up with a song. He said that he had a Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament kind of vibe. Howard asked who suggested he go to the band after their lead singer died. Eddie said that was Jack Irons. Howard said he wants to know how he came up with it. Eddie said that he had the music and he had to figure out how to come up with the rest of it. He said what he remembers was the fog out there was like times 10. He said you couldn't see the waves coming in. He said that it was really eerie. He said it was that kind of bubble and his senses were heightened. He said for some reason that melody and lyrics came into his head. He said he may have started writing ''Once'' in his head at the same time. He said they were engrained in his head. He said he went to a 4 track cassette player and recording it with his shorts still wet from surfing.
Eddie said he thinks the next day he put it in the mail and didn't think anything of it. He said that he was out with someone and they had a Rolling Stone magazine with a story about Mother Love Bone and that was the band he just sent the tape to.
Howard asked how he got into surfing and is he really good at it. Eddie said he was always envious of other kids who could have tons more time in the water. He said he was going through some stuff and didn't have a car. He said that when the time came he was able to go out and do it.
Eddie told Howard that Kelly Slater has this wave pool and this thing is like seeing a moon landing in person. He said it's a feat of technical engineering. He said it's emotional to see. He said it's about 8 football fields long and you can barely see from one end to the other. He said this train pushes the wave along and you get up and paddle and then you have a 1 minute wave bigger than you are. He said it has two barrels in it and you can practice in there. He said you can get a proper barrel. He said that the ocean has so many variables.
Howard asked if he's so into surfing that he can look at the ocean and know when to go. Eddie said there are others who are better at it. He said that he likes it when you can look out and just go out before anyone goes out. He said it's like that in Hawaii. He said it's nice when you can get a couple of sessions in and not too many other people. He said that he has surfed with headphones on. He said that it blows your mind.
Howard said he used to run and he never wore headphones because he wanted to be aware of his surroundings. He said you have to be so aware of things surfing. He said that could be dangerous. Eddie said it's okay if there's no one else in the water. He said that it would be like putting your two favorite things together.
Howard asked what he listens to. Eddie said that song ''Gypsy Biker'' by Bruce Springsteen is what he had on with this one wave. He said that the drum cracked just as he pulled in and it was so epic. He said he had another one where he was surfing in Waikiki and there was this great drum solo that came on. He said he doesn't remember which one it was but it went on for a long time.
Howard asked if he would be shocked to learn what he listens to like Jennifer Lopez or something like that. Robin said what about Avril Lavigne. Howard asked what he has that he'd be shocked by. Eddie said that there's an album by Genesis that he thought sounded amazing. He said it was Abacab. He said that he likes Peter Gabriel. He said that he did some interesting stuff.
Eddie said ZZ Top is good too. He said he loved Kings of Leon when they came out. Howard said he bets he likes the Allman Brothers. Eddie said it didn't connect him as much as The Band. He said they were more earthy and down home. Robin asked about Lady Gaga or anything like that. Eddie said he has heard her stuff. He said he listened to the Billie Eilish stuff and that was put together so well. He said that the production value is amazing. He said that the Lana Del Ray record is great too. He said his kids have turned him on to a ton of stuff that he wouldn't have listened to. He said a lot of writers and musicians don't have a lot of time to listen because you're busy writing.
Howard asked if Eddie worries about his kids having friends whose parents want to come hang at his house. He asked if he's able to be friends with the parents. Eddie said when they had kids and they became school age that was some heavy growth for him. He said he was a little reclusive and then he had to do it. He said he met some great people. He said they became some of their best friends because their kids knew each other. He said his fears were misbegotten. He said it was a little hard for the kids.
Howard asked if the kids want to be musicians. Eddie said they are growing up around music and they have been to so many live shows. He said that he wouldn't push it on them. He said that he wants them to do things to make themselves feel better.
Howard said Chris Cornell's daughter is really good. He said what a great fucking guy he was. He said Chris would come in and he was so easy and forthcoming. Howard said he heard that Chris was just a good guy with Eddie and the band. He said it must have been a horrible loss for him. He said it was just so fucking sad. Eddie said that stuff is tough to think about. Eddie said that he got taken away there for a second. Howard asked what he was thinking about. Eddie said about a year before Chris died they got a call at 4 in the morning and his brother told him that their third youngest brother named Chris had been spending time in Africa and he was doing work over there. He said he was doing something a bit risky and he had a climbing accident and he was no longer with us. He said that one took him down so hard. He said his brothers and mom too. He said that he seriously didn't know if he was going to get out of that one. He said he thought about what his daughters were witnessing. He said they were 12 an 6 at the time. He said there was no hiding it and it was a dark place. He said he couldn't deal with the reality. He said when it happened with Chris Cornell he still thinks he's in denial about it. He said that if he felt the way that he needed to feel that he wasn't sure how dark he'd go. He said he was just kind of in denial. He said he didn't see him that often in the past 10 years. He said he just kind of hasn't quite dealt with that. He said he'll get stronger as time goes. He said he and Chris were close. He said that he would hang out with him outside of the band. He said that he didn't know that many people in Seattle so they'd go on hiking adventures and go chasing dogs out in the rain. He said that was cool. He said it had nothing to do with being around other music people or the L.A. life. He said this was just hanging out with a rock star. He said he was chasing a dog in the rain with his buddy on a Saturday night with a 12 pack of Schmidt.
Howard asked if he's saying he felt suicidal over his brother's death and Chris's death. Eddie said no. He said that would make him even less so. He said that stuff should make him angry. He said that suicide is when someone isn't in their proper mind. He said it just hurt so many people. He said it hurts massive amounts of people. He said it feels unfair.
Eddie said he became friends with a guy named Jeremy Richmond and his daughter went to Sandy Hook. He said that his daughter was murdered with so many others. He said that he was a neuroscientist who was trying to figure out what happens in a person's mind to make that decision. He said that Jeremy was supposed to come visit him after speaking in Spokane. He said a week later he heard that he killed himself. He said that there was no way he was going to do that when he spoke to him on the phone. He said he heard he was going through a hard time. He said that he told him to call him if he needed help. He said got upset with him over that. He said that one would be hard to live on after losing a daughter like that. He said even then you don't do that. He said when you have kids you don't have that option anymore.
Howard said he thought it was great that he taught Chris Cornell's daughter how to surf. He said that's a great thing to show a child something you love. He said to do that with his daughter to share this passion of surfing had to be great medicine for her. Eddie said that was before the heavy stuff happened. He said that she's a tremendous girl. He said she's a bad ass. He said she's been like a big sister to his kids. He said she took it up pretty good and she was getting some waves.
Howard said this suicide thing is tough to deal with and here seems to be a lot of it from that era. He said that Chris broke him up when he did it. Eddie said it really does break you. He said it's such a loss and even Howard might have thought ''Why didn't he call me.'' Howard said he did. He said he doesn't even believe he killed himself. He said he had too much going on. He said he had this voice and this ability to write songs. He said that would just fill him up so much that there's no way he'd want to leave this world. He said it feels like maybe he didn't kill himself. Eddie said that's even more denial than he has.
Howard said when Bradley Cooper was making ''A Star is Born'' he thought about how good he was at singing. He said that he bought that he was a rock star. He said he didn't know that he spent time with Eddie to learn what it was like to be a rock star. Howard asked how that worked. Eddie said that Bradley said he had this project he was working on. He said Sean Penn was going to make that film and Sean had asked him about contributing some music. Howard asked if Sean sang. Eddie said he was good as the character. He said that Bradley took over and he asked him a few questions. He said he made sure to give him some advice about keeping the guitar over his balls and things like that. Howard said when Billie Joe Armstrong plays it's almost down to his knees. He said he never thought about that.
Howard said Eddie told him to cover his balls. Eddie said he told him what kind of guitar straps to use. He said he told him that he had to think about not watching any of the movies about rock and roll because they never get it right. He said he didn't think that anyone could pull it off. He said that he wasn't sure if Bradley could do it. He said they had like less than a month to do it and he wasn't sure that it would work but they pulled it off. He said they had a lot of people helping them out getting the right look.
Eddie said they asked him to come down to see it and they were on their way to the screening and he was thinking about all the ways he could let him down nicely. He said he wanted to be honest but he had to let him down nicely. He said when he saw it he was just fucking blown away. Howard said he pulled it off. Eddie said that what he can do with his eyes and what they did together was something. He said that really took him there. He said he's getting chills now. Howard said he went to his house to see it. He said he showed him the dailies and he was wondering what to day if he blows. He said he really did pull it off. He said it usually doesn't work. Eddie said there have been a few guys who pulled it off. He said the Dewy Cox Story was good too. Howard wondered if he covered his balls. Eddie said he had few looks.
Howard said he feels like he's keeping him too long. He said he has so many questions for him. He said he loves that song ''The Elderly Woman Behind The Counter...'' with the really long title. He said that song is so good. He said he's writing it from the point of view of this woman. He said that's a really heavy story to write. He asked where he was when he wrote that. He asked how he comes up with something like that. Eddie got his guitar and started playing a little bit of that. He said that song is actually easy chords. He said that they were at this place for a couple of weeks and he was coming up with a song. He said that he was just playing this little thing he had in his head. He sang some of the song. He said it was pretty basic. He showed Howard how he was playing D to C to D. He just kept playing and started to sing the song. He went through the lyrics a little bit. Howard asked if that just comes out of his head. Eddie said he doesn't know.
Howard said its the same thing with Nothingman. He said he hears songs like that and he can't leave it on too long because he gets overwhelmed with emotion. He said that Nothingman does that for him. He went over what that song is about and asked if he was right. Eddie said he is close on that. He said that Woody Allen has this unrequited love that's the most powerful. He said that there's no reality of the day to day. He said you can use that to feel the other way too.
Howard asked how he wrote that song. Eddie said that was one of those songs on a yellow pad like Jerry Seinfeld. He said Jeff had a day in the studio with a drummer friend of his. He said he went through some pages and thought this went with that and a half hour later they had that one. Howard played some of the song and said it's really intimidating to meet him. He said he's such a fan.
Howard asked if he feels like he's running out of time to write more. Eddie said that he feels like things are really strange right now and he'd like to talk about that. Howard said he has one more question about the documentary they made where he's working on the song ''Daughter.'' He said that he admires the band because when MTV was in their glory they would make these videos. He said Eddie wanted to just play live and he admired that. He said he wants to see them play the fucking song. He doesn't need a story. He said it's the purest thing to just see them play. Eddie said it allows the listener to have their on interpretation too. He said once you have the story line then that's what you see. He said it can be a great visual and it can work.
Eddie said that David Letterman is helping them with this charity thing they're working on. He said they helped Dave out with his show when he did a show with no commercials. He said he got really cagey about the whole thing. He said that he was worried about them running commercials for the commercial free show. He said that was kind of ridiculous behavior. He said that's what he thinks looking back on that. He said that Dave called him and he was very nice about it. He said that he doesn't know why he acted the way he used to. Howard said he's the same way. He said he has a lot of regrets. He said that he was asked to be on Saturday Night Live by Lorne Michaels and he didn't want to use their writers. He said he was such an asshole about that stuff. He said he was way worse than Eddie.
Howard said he was going to ask what the association is with Letterman. He said he has a real fondness for Dave. Eddie said that he used to watch him when he'd get off of work. He said that he watched Letterman every night. He said he'd watch Charlie Rose too. He said that Dave was like his copilot. He said that they were asked to appear on Letterman and Dave kept doing this thing where he hummed some of their song. He said he'd joke with Paul about who wrote that song. He said that went on for like 2 or 3 weeks. He said that Dave started looking into the camera and saying ''Eddie'' and he was sitting there one night high on weed and Dave leans in and does the Eddie thing again. He said he loved watching the show. He said he had to watch the show. He said this Eddie thing has to stop because it was freaking him out. He said he went to this Ramones thing and he called the Letterman office and asked if he can come by and stop this. He said they had him on and he talked to Paul and he sang the song and got back in the cab and left. He said that was the first time he met kind of. He said after a few times on the show they would check in on each other. He said he really has a lot of admiration for Dave. He said what he did with his job affected a lot of people with that kind of job.
Howard said he didn't know he was close to Johnny Ramone. Howard said he used to have them on the show a lot. He said he had Joey on his show a lot. He said he don't know that he was with Johnny on his death bed. Eddie said that was another crazy tough one he never really quite got over. He said he's not good at that stuff. He said he has a lot of stuff to work on.
Howard asked if he knew he was going and called him. Eddie said that Dr. David Agus who Howard knows was working with John. He said that was a hard thing. He said Johnny was a great friend and a very intense friend. He said he taught him a lot. He said that they had baseball in common and they would open some of their shows for them and things like that. He said after the tour they stayed in touch and they'd visit. He said that he went to New York and stayed with Johnny. He said the next morning he learned that he had never had anyone stay at his house before and it wasn't so bad. He said he was breaking ground with him. He said they got to go all over the place with them and it was amazing to see. He said they were like the Beatles around the world. He said Johnny was as frugal a human being as you can get. He said he was able to parlay that into something luxurious.
Howard asked Eddie if he can take a short break so he can go pee. Howard said he just needs 2 minutes. Howard went to break.
During the break they played a phony phone call Richard made to a woman about her dog where he had a dog talking to the woman. They also played Pearl Jam's ''Black'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said he had to pee so bad. Robin said that Eddie must have gone too. Howard said that whole thing with Letterman he was talking about him humming, how did that come about. Eddie said that was Stone Gossard. Howard said he wouldn't know what to sing over that.
Howard asked what Eddie has in his head right now. He asked if he's like Joe Walsh with stuff in his head all the time. Eddie said you can dream songs and wake up and play them in the morning. He said sometimes they just come. He said the Ukulele was a great thing to play on. He said that you can just learn to make patterns. He said you don't have to know how to play anything. He said that you just make a shape. Howard had him show him what he means. Eddie played some stuff on his guitar. He said he was just showing him what a shape song is like. Eddie played a little bit for Howard. He went into the song ''Sometimes.''
Howard said he was thinking of this song as a shape song. He played some ''Yellow Ledbetter'' for Eddie and asked why he was laughing. Eddie said that is one that's just shapes and not words in the lyrics.
Eddie said that he was laughing because one time Howard had a contest on the show where they were trying to figure out what the lyrics to that song were. He said they had High Pitch Erik on the show and they were doing a mis-heard lyrics thing. He said Howard came up with one lyric that was better than his. He said he did come up with it. Howard said he's thinking jamming with him and coming up with some of his own. Eddie said he thinks that Howard could have better words than he would. Howard said no.
Eddie said he was thinking of this song in his mind had Mike McCready had this thing that they did and they came up with Yellow Ledbetter. He said in his head he was thinking about the Gulf War and he was thinking about an older couple waving at people with an American Flag. He said he waved to them and they looked at him like he was a degenerate. He said in his head he wondered if he had just lost his brother in the war. He said he was thinking about what it's worth to send your kids off to war. He said that's when the country was run by an oil man and they sent the soldiers off to fight a war over oil.
Eddie said the lyrics were about if your sons and daughters are coming home in a ''box or a bag'' and Howard came up with the lyric as a ''boxer or the bag.'' He said that's the lyric that Howard came up with. He said that's a good one. Howard said from now on he should try that lyric. Eddie said Howard might come up with something better.
Howard said he loves when he covers ''You've Got To Hide Your Love Away'' and he must love that one. Eddie said that one was for Sean Penn. He said they did all Beatles songs in that movie. Howard said he must love Sean because he played Spicoli and he was a sufer. Eddie said he loves him for many reasons. Howard asked if he went to his wedding. Eddie said he did on Zoom. He said he thought it was a work meeting for a film. He said they're working on this incredible film that's coming out next year called ''Flag Day.'' He said it turned out they were dressed up and something very exciting was happening. Eddie said that it was early in the morning and there were some Italian relatives involved. He said that it was powerful and poignant. He said Bono did an Irish poem. He said that he did a Ukulele song. Howard said he goes to some cool stuff. He said during a break he had to figure out what song to play.
Howard said before Pearl Jam they were going to do a show at the Apollo. He said then everything was shut down by COVID-19. He said he was going to do a bunch of shows in the Battleground states. Howard said that had to be tough not to be able to do that. He said that he wanted to do the Get Out the Vote thing. Howard asked what his feelings are about the election.
Eddie said that would have been their natural habitat. He said it's two way communication. He said that they get feedback there. He said they get to see what's happening out there. He said that's been a bigger challenge to do that outside of that. Howard asked if he thinks that he can get his fans to vote a different direction. Eddie said he thinks that they are in a situation where we need to be coming together. He said a year ago we needed to come together on the climate change issue. He said that isn't going away. He said the time we have left to turn this thing around is fleeting. He said that is a huge thing. He said they're still debating it like it's a debate. He said 99 percent of the scientists say it's happening. He said there are people like Greata Thunberg who are bringing attention to it. He said things are worse around us and we can't let it go. He said it's going to be 10 times worse.
Eddie said now we have a pandemic and you'd think we would have come together. He said regardless of race and gender we'd come together. He said this is the only way we can get through this. He said it takes a special person to fuck that one up. He said that they can turn it into a divisive thing in nature where now mask wearing is politicized. He said that we have foreign interference in the election and they didn't do anything about that. He said that you can study this and see it's a real thing. He said we're seeing violent behavior and it's being rewarded from a certain side. He said that they're rewarding that. He said that we're being divided even further. He said we should be coming together instead of dividing and those other countries are enjoying this.
Eddie said that it's been disheartening to see what's happening. He said that this one thing that we may see is that people will get involved and maybe they'll continue to be involved after this election. He said there's so much to be repaired. He said he thinks people need to reach across the aisle.
Howard said he couldn't have said that better. He said it's remarkable to him that wearing a mask is being ridiculed. He said you're trying to save other people's lives. He said if you have kids or grand kids you have to think beyond yourself. He said there is no other issue than the environment. He said we have to lead the world on this subject. Eddie said we have to make a lot of changes and we can't even do it with masks.
Eddie said that 230,000 people have died from this and that is 10 jumbo jets going down a week for 6 months. He said this is frustrating but also energizing. He said people have to get out and vote and if everyone's voice is heard then the country is even greater. He said he thinks that we'd feel better about this election if we didn't see blatant and bold attempts to change how the election is going to turn out. He said that they're taking the knees out of the postal service. Howard asked how this is happening while we're all sitting here. He said he mailed something 3 weeks ago from Long Island to Manhattan and it's still not there. He said it's crazy.
Eddie said that you want the health and wealth of the country to be decided by the country and the people in it and not by a judge in a court. He said it's not hard to imagine that there will be some litigation. He said he hopes people keep their resolve and have it be peaceful.
Eddie said he thinks about the Florida thing with the hanging chads in 2000. He said that went on until December and you just wanted it over with. Howard said Al Gore threw in the towel and he doesn't know why he gave up. Robin said he did it for the good of the country. Eddie said now we have to step up instead of stepping back.
Howard asked if he has friends who are Trump supporters. He asked if Johnny was really conservative. Eddie said he was. He said his heroes were John Wayne and Ronald Reagan. He said he taught him a lot about how someone like that feels that way. He said he thought he was just being a contrarian. He said that was real though.
Eddie said that Johnny would quiz him on stuff and he would tell him how he found out about things. He said in the end he thought he was a great friend who told him his argument was good and he knew what he was talking about so that was good.
Howard asked what his t-shirt is. Eddie said it's his local record store that sells vinyl. He said Howard should check vinyl out again.
Howard asked what's in his record collection. Eddie said he has about 10-30 times as much as what's in there. Howard asked what he has in there. Eddie said he has some Alice Cooper. He said he has Fugazi records. He said he has The Who, Fleetwood Mac and stuff like that. He said he and his wife like to have dance parties. Howard said he has to get over there to see what's going on there.
Howard said he has to let him go. He said that he wanted to know so much more like the Ticketmaster thing. He asked if he asked other bands to take a stand with them. Eddie said they would say yes and that they'd look into it but then they'd get a call from Ticketmaster. He said Ticketmaster would make a deal with them to give them more of a cut. Howard said that he wants to know who those bands are.
Howard said the new album is called Gigaton and it's available everywhere music is sold. Howard played some stuff from the new album. Howard asked if they're happy with it. Eddie said they are. He said they were ready to go out on tour and come see Howard. He said that he's not too upset about sitting home. He said it's a shame that we have new levels of infection that we hadn't even seen before. He said we're just 6 months in and it's really disturbing. He said it's irresponsible. He said they lost 9 people in front of them at a concert. He said that we're losing hundreds of thousands now. He said the loss of one person can have a huge effect on a community.
Eddie said we were hoping this guy would be successful with this but this guy just didn't do what he had to. He said you have to bring people together and he could have been a hero. Howard said that this anti-science thing is just insane.
Eddie said that science is incredible these days. He said that when you think about disease and coming up with a vaccine. He said that he and his wife have had experience with this. He brought up this skin disease that they've been dealing with. Howard asked if he knew someone who had this. Eddie said a friend of his wife's had it. He said they found out about it and it took a while to figure out what was going on. He said it was the most horrific thing ever. He said they got involved and the skin lacks a certain protein and it can't hold together the cells. He said with this EB they can rub their eye lid too hard and it will just rub off. He said that they'll have a scar for the rest of their lives. Howard said what a nightmare. Eddie said it affects the organs too. Eddie said that grey can see a cure and a treatment in sight and now it's just a matter of time. He said they need funding and it's been a hard year for fund raising. He said they see good things coming next year. He said they're doing a concert on November 18th that will be streaming on Amazon. He said a lot of celebrities will be involved with that. Howard said you can find out more about that at VentureIntoCures.org.
Howard gave Eddie more plugs for Gigaton and played Dance of the Clairvoyants. Eddie was laughing thinking about Howard talking up a song like an old DJ. Howard gave him one of those talk ups and wrapped up with Eddie. He said he's kept him for 3 hours so far. He said he should let him go. Howard asked if the guitars he has on the wall are his or were they given to him. Eddie said one of them is from one of the guys in The Band. He said he thought it was going to go much higher than it did. Howard spent a short time talking to him about that.
Howard asked if the other guitars are his. Eddie said that he grew up with certain types of guitars. He told Howard about what the other ones were.
Howard said that he must have loved Eddie Van Halen. He asked if he ever met him. Eddie said it wasn't that long ago and he did meet him. He told Howard a story about bringing an 8 Track with Van Halen on it. He said that he took that in and wanted to get Eddie to sign the thing. He said he did meet him and he was the sweetest guy. He said he asked if he could sign this thing and Eddie called his son over to see this 8 track. Howard showed him he has a guitar that Eddie signed for him too.
Howard asked if he plays every day. Eddie said he does. He said he doesn't sing every day. Howard asked if he still smokes. Eddie laughed. Howard said he does. Howard said he quit when he started doing Transcendental Meditation. He said he just stopped. He said he can't explain it to him. He told Eddie to do it. Eddie said he should be able to do it. Howard said he's had this discussion with Billy Joel too. He said he thinks that it makes his voice sound better.
Howard asked how many packs he smokes a day. Eddie said he goes through like 2 lighters. He said that's a Bill Hicks joke. Eddie said he became friends with Martin Short and he's another sweet guy. He said he had quit for like 12 days and fell back in. He said he was telling Martin about that and he asked if he's waiting for more literature on that. Howard said that he's probably one of those guys who points to Keith Richards when they're asked about that. Eddie said that even Keith quit. Howard said if he can quit then he should be able to quit.
Howard said he has to quit. He asked if he's insane. He said he must not worry about his instrument. Eddie said it's like riding a bike with no hands and saying ''Look ma, no hands.'' He said it's ridiculous behavior.
Howard said he has to quit. Eddie said he knows he'll hear it from everyone. Howard reviewed about what happened today. He said that it might be tomorrow already. Howard asked who will win the election tomorrow. Eddie said we have a lot of reasons to feel good but the unknowable stuff is the nefarious stuff. He said that we could see some change if it weren't for that. He said we need some change and some healing. He said this guy doesn't really care about anyone. He said it's kind of a practical joke that's gone way too far. Howard said he loves that message. Howard gave him more plugs and wrapped up again.
Howard let Eddie go and Robin said she thinks that was a record. Howard said he had to pee for most of it.
Howard said he considered peeing in his pants because he didn't want to stop the interview. He said the pee would have been all over the floor. He said he thought about peeing into his Thermos.
Howard said he's going to start wearing a diaper during the show. He said he learned that from Richard Christy. They ended the show around 12:10pm.
Howard said he was reading about how people are moving to Australia because of this pandemic. Robin said they say that black people are moving out of this country. She said she might be one of them. Howard said his friends in Australia say that they have that place locked down. He said he told that story about them being locked down in a hotel. He said they have rules for how they can act down there. He said that's why people are moving down there. He said they have COVID under control there. He said they had 9 new cases there.
Howard said he's not sure what's going to happen today but it's strange. Robin said they say there might be unrest after this election. Howard said they're boarding up places all over. He said the White House is even boarded up. He said that he doesn't believe this is the America he grew up in. He said depending on this election it will change the way he looks at this country.
Howard said he doesn't get that Marco Rubio thinks that bus being surrounded was a good thing. He said we'll see what happens. Robin said people are being asked who they're voting for and she saw someone saying that Trump sticks to everything he says he'll do. She asked what that does for that guy.
Howard said England is in a month long lockdown. Robin said they have some lockdowns going on around the country. She said people are rushing out to get drunk before the lockdown.
Howard said that he knows a lot of the guys on the show are stocking up on alcohol for tonight. He said he voted a few weeks ago but there are people who are voting today. He said Benjy, Sal, JD, Memet, Will and Gary have to vote today. He said a lot of people have to vote.
Robin asked how Gary is going to vote if he can't walk. Gary said he can walk. Fred was playing his throat clearing clip. Howard asked if Gary can walk for him. Gary got up and walked just fine. Gary said going up the stairs is the worst. He said if you saw him dong that then it's different. He said the new knee is getting better every day. He said he just gets on his bike and works his strength back up.
Howard said he was on with Peloton Jenn the other day. He said they need classes for old covers. He said it really wears him out. He said he did a 45 minute class with her and he wasn't feeling it. He said he loses the feeling in his dick from sitting on that bike seat for so long.
Howard said he needs a class where he can get up and down. He said he wears a heart monitor and if he gets over 140 then he starts to get dizzy and pass out. He said he starts to get woozy. He said he's trying to keep up with Peloton Jenn. He said if he sees that heart monitor go up he has to slow down. He said it's weird.
Howard said his wife loves that Hydrow thing. He said that's the rowing machine. He said he can't do it but she loves it. He said she does it every day. He said she smiles during it. He said her arms and belly are ripped from doing it. Robin said only athletes bodies respond like that. Howard said she smiles during it. He said you're supposed to be miserable doing that. He said she was happy in high school too. He said he was miserable and that's the way it's supposed to be. Howard said he's convinced that's why she married him. He said she loves pain.
Howard said he hopes things can return to normal after this election. He said we'll see what happens. Robin said the first thing she saw is that Brett Favre endorsed Trump this morning. She said that she looked it up and he had some scandals. She said that he had to pay back a million dollars for ripping off some funds to build a volleyball stadium. She said he had some other scandals she read about too.
Howard said he was reading the NY Times and they took pictures of people's refrigerators. He said it was Biden and Trump supporters. He said it was the greatest thing. He said you assume you know. He said you see Redi-Whip in the refrigerator and it's Trump. He said Biden people might eat more healthy. He said it's a hard thing to figure out but it was fucking great.
Howard said he was reading that Steve Martin read the Andy Warhol biography. He said he bought it after he read that. Howard said it's 900 pages. Robin thought he said it was Woody Allen. Howard said he said it's Andy Warhol. Robin said don't mind her she's got the election on her mind.
Howard said people have had it around the world with us. He said that the ''Fire Fauci'' is the most ridiculous thing. He said that's their last hope. Robin said they say Deborah Birx is saying that we're going to have 100,000 cases a day soon. Howard said he has the fantasy that Joe and Kamala call in every expert come January 1 and try to figure out how to get this thing under control. He said they get everyone in the administration to get to work. He said he won't have to wake up to crazy tweets anymore.
Howard said they have to do contact tracing. He said that his daughter was doing that and it's very tedious. He said that's not what this administration wants. He said they just surrender to the whole thing. He said he read a story about a 13 year old dying from Coronavirus. He said throwing your hands up and surrendering is crazy. He said hew wants people who know how to run government need to be in office.
Howard said Wolfie's grandma is in a nursing home and he has some audio of her talking about what's going on. He said yesterday we had 93,000 new cases of Coronavirus. He said we could beat this thing and we should go to war against it. He said we could win. He said we all have to be on the same team. He said this is his fantasy. He said we have to use tax dollars to beat this thing instead of whining about it.
Howard said this ridiculous notion that we have more cases is because of more testing is so crazy. He said that he hopes there's a change. He said he wants to see us beat this thing. He said he can't believe how close this thing is. He said he's looking at the odds makers and maybe they should be betting. Robin said she's not going to treat this like a sporting event.
Howard said the stores in New York are boarding up. He said they have everything in Manhattan covered up today. He said it's all plywood. He said people are just accepting all of this. He said they're ready for 4 more years of this nonsense.
Robin said that Walmart stopped selling guns over the weekend and they got so many complaints they started selling them again. Robin said that this is how we vote in America.
Howard asked Jon Hein to give him some of the odds. Jon said they have a lot of odds on this stuff. He said they seem to do pretty well at figuring it out. Jon went over the odds with Trump and Biden and Biden was the favorite yesterday. He said today it changed. He said it's getting closer. Howard asked if they're doing that to get people to bet on Trump. Jon said that could be it.
Howard said he was reading that Biden was in the lead but then today he's reading it's going to be a squeaker. He said that someone had to change their vote yesterday. Jon said they break it down by state. He said you can see where things are tightening up. He said Pennsylvania, Ohio and Texas are moving.
Howard asked how you see ''Fire Fauci'' and change your vote toward that. He said if you fire that guy all hope is lost. Howard said they will get someone in there who knows nothing. Jon said he thinks they're basing it on who will come out and vote today.
Jon said the question they're asking is who do you think will win this election. Robin said she can't bet on Trump. Howard said she can. Robin said she has to leave it to them to bet on this stuff. Howard said she's right, men will bet. Howard asked if anyone wants to bet. He said he's kind of feeling the way Robin does.
Jon said they can do prop bets if he wants. Howard said do one of those. Jon asked how many votes Kanye West will get. He gave Howard the bets and how that will work. Howard said he can't believe there are more than 200,000 morons who would vote for that imbecile. He said that guy has real issues. Robin said she's not sure that the other guy they're voting for doesn't have serious issues. Howard said he doesn't want to vote. He said he thinks that guy Kanye is a fucking moron. Robin said he's a sick man. Howard said he'd rather have him than the guy they have now. He said he'd vote for Kanye over Trump based on what he's seeing. He said this is insane how this country is falling apart right in front of us. Howard said he has never seen it so bad here. He said you couldn't fuck things up more than they are right now.
Howard asked what other bets he has. Jon said they have an over under on the total number of voters that turn out. Robin said they say that 95 million have voted already. Jon said they say that's a large portion of the actual vote. He said the over under is 160 million. Howard said he thinks less. Robin said she thinks more.
Howard said he thinks there are more idiots in this country than bright people. He said it's a nation of imbeciles. He said he sees them all over the news not wearing masks. He said that it's the golden age of dumb.
Howard said he has spent most of his life being stupid. He said that he's no genius but he admires people who have brains. He said there are people he knows to listen to because they have way more brains than him. He said he's smart enough to know he's dumb. Robin said many people don't know that and they think they're smart.
Howard said he thinks he's stupid and he's smart enough to know that. He said that he learned chess and he was told he could only go so far.
Howard said the best thing about voting is that we get to hire someone smarter than us to run the country. He said the dumb people think that they elected a businessman. He said that he has gone bankrupt so many times. He said he's not a good businessman.
Howard said in 2016 there were 139 million voters. He said he thinks that people are so passionate that they will vote. He said he was talking to a really smart guy yesterday who has never voted before. He said this time he's voting. He said there has to be a lot of that happening out there.
Jon asked if he thinks the long lines are going to turn people around. Robin said that he weather is going to be rainy in the pacific northwest but the rest of the country will be dry. Howard said Jon's right though. He said it count turn people around. Robin said the lines are longer because people are socially distanced. Jon said the committed voters may have voted early.
Howard asked how they count those votes. He asked if someone is counting those votes right now. Robin asked why they're not already counted. Jon said he was trying to read an article about that and it varies from state to state.
Howard asked how they count the votes. Jon said they say that they are done by computer but they can have a lot go wrong. He said if they do something wrong they toss it. Robin said she hopes people read the instructions and don't just put an X. Howard said it's like the SATs. Jon said it's pretty convoluted. Howard said he's one of those guys who doesn't read directions but he did with the ballot. He said he can see some idiots getting confused by it. Gary said the signature is very important. He said he went back and checked that. He said if you forget your middle initial they'll throw it out.
Howard asked Jon what else he has. Jon said they have a bet about Trump and if he'll lose any states he won in 2016. Howard said that's a yes. Jon said he has one more. He said ''When will the election be called?'' He said it varies from today, tomorrow or even longer.
Howard asked how we can have it tonight. He said some states won't count them until after the polls close. He said he's not sure how grey can get results today. He said it must take a day or two. Jon said he would think so. He said that he thinks Trump and Biden will scrutinize if it's close at all. Robin asked if they'll have an answer by Friday. Howard said he's going to bet on 2028 for the final count. Jon said they are taking bets on December 1st. He said they have bets for Thanksgiving week too. He said there are some big odds there. Howard said he's not in the mood to bet. He said he's with Robin on that.
Howard said his parents moved to this white community and he was thrilled. He said he didn't know what was in store for him there though. He said white people hated him as much as black people did. He said he just wasn't a likeable guy. He said that it had nothing to do with the color of his skin. He said he was just a douche.
Howard said he didn't know that he was universally hated. He said that he was under the assumption that white people would like him. He said he asked a black girl out and her name was Judy. He said she laughed at him. He said she said that he was white and there was no way she'd take shit dating him. He said he moved and the white girls were throwing up over him too. He said he was ready to move back to the black neighborhood. He said it was disaster.
Howard said he never hated the black kids. He said he moved and he realized he hates white people. He said they were supposed to be his people but it's bullshit. Robin said there are no people. Howard said he wanted to move to an Asian community after that.
Howard said he went to school and he was asked where he came from. He said he was told that he'd have a D average there because of where he moved from. He said it was kind of defeating to hear that from the guidance counselor. He said that his mom got upset about that.
Howard said he was in big trouble. He said that he had to car pool. He said each one would get in and the kids would just grunt. He said his mother would say good morning. He said that he knew he was in trouble after that. He said that they were doing psychological warfare. He said he sat alone in the lunch room and he knew he was fucked. He said he blamed it on anti-Semitism. He said that he thought he knew what was going on. He said then it turned out that all of the kids in the car pool were Jewish so he had to throw that idea out.
Howard said he had to figure out where he could go to school and be accepted. He said he was fine in summer camp. He said that for 6 weeks out of his year he was fine. He said the rest of the year was humiliation. He said he'd go to ugly girl parties and even they rejected him. He said he thought he was a great guy. He didn't know.
Howard said he was told about this AZA party by a friend. He said his friend told him that it was going to be good for them and they'd be able to find girls there. Howard said he walked in this basement and there's one girl on the couch who might as well have been a man. He said the girls there were all like that. He said imagine what he looked like. He said he thought he could score big time. He said they weren't beauties. He said he didn't realize that what they looked like as women he looked even worse as a man. Howard said he didn't realize it was a carnival freak show.
Howard said these girls took a look at him and he had to sit across the room. He said not one of them came over to him. He said he could see the look of revulsion on their faces. He said he just smoked and tried to look cool. He said the smoke would block out his face. He said that it was like his own fog machine. He said he'd light one off the other. He said no one was talking to him. He said he couldn't believe these girls were rejecting him.
Howard said his friends were all hitting on girls and being successful. He said he must have looked like a witch being burned at the stake. Robin was laughing. Howard said go ahead and laugh it up. Howard said he imagines he looked like a palm tree on fire. Robin said she knows this was just in his mind. She said one of the most unattractive men she has ever met was the most successful ladies man at her university. She said that he hypnotized women. Howard said he had a fantasy that he'd be able to do that. He said if he had he'd probably be in the cell next to Bill Cosby.
Howard said he got to college and things were even worse. He said his friend Lou was a football player and in 6 year medical. He said that he met Lou in camp. He said that the girls would line up to talk to Lou. He said that he'd sit there again with the cigarette and the hair looking like a chimney with hair. He said he thought about how this just had to end.
Howard said that there were so many girls on the bed with Lou that the bed was collapsing. He said that he loves Lou but it led to some jealousy. He said that he wasn't brimming with personality. He said he had some personality but the girls didn't see that.
Robin said look at the credentials he ran off for Lou. She asked what his credentials were. Howard said he had nothing. He said he was going into radio. He said they were like ''fuck you'' when they heard that. He said he didn't even have a good radio voice. He said they were like ''What!?'' He said he was a dishwasher at a summer camp for work. He said he had a show on the campus radio station. He said you could get it on your telephone in the dorms.
Howard said he got fired from the place he was working at to get practice. He said he wasn't getting paid and he got fired. He said that his parents were paying for him to go there and grey fired him. He said it was over some dumb bit he did called Godzilla goes to Harlem. He said it was genius.
Howard said fuck everyone, he's had it. He said he had no rap. He said he smoked cigarettes and dropped acid. He said he did quaaludes too. He said he figured some woman would like what they saw. He said that didn't happen.
Howard said he was going to work in a house in Briarcliff Manor. He said that's where he was heading. He talked up a song like he was back in those early radio days.
Howard said he never went anywhere that he was a winner. Robin said he had consistency. Robin said they made a whole career out of that stuff. Howard said stick with him and he'll take her from one shitty situation to another.
Howard said he loves Robin because she stuck with him. He asked what woman would stick with him through all of that. He said no one was willing to do that for him. He said that they had to start from zero everywhere they went. He said that they had to be the most important thing on that station. He said even if they were doing shitty the rest of them would be doing shittier.
Robin said no matter how well they did the other people hated them. Howard said he's going to take a break and come back. He said delete this house of radio. Jon said he has one thing to add. He said if you watch tonight the first states to come down are going to be huge indicators. He said if Biden can take any of those states then it's going to be good for him. He said if he can't then it's going to be tight. He said they think the write in votes will be mostly democratic. He said those are the ones to watch.
Gary said Pennsylvania is another one to watch. He said they won't be counting the mail in votes until today and tomorrow. Howard asked who came up with that. Gary said that Trump is saying that no matter what it's going to be whatever they say tonight.
Howard got in a plug for Gardein who sponsored the show today. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and Robin told him that Baby Shark is the most watched video on TikTok. Howard asked if that's just the video for the song. Robin said it is. Howard said he thought that was over with. Howard asked what happened to his music. They turned it up again. Howard said he wonders if Eddie Vedder knows Dave Grohl. Robin said he must. Howard said he got on the phone with Eddie after the show and spoke to him for another hour. He said it was interesting. He said they got into a conversation about a lot of stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loved the interview yesterday. He said it was great and he wants to say that he's easily swayed. He said he thought that Trump was the best candidate but he can get behind Eddie after what he said yesterday. Howard said he told Eddie that when he spoke about politics he summed up exactly how he felt. He said it was very meaningful and complimentary. He said that he hit it on the head. Howard said he's never seen this country in more turmoil than it is now. Robin said this is happening while Trump is in office. The caller said he's good at manipulating people. He said he was almost in tears hearing Eddie speak. He said the way he feels was coming through to him.
The caller, Gus, said that there aren't music writers like Eddie anymore. Howard said he has to agree. The caller said there aren't that many people who are so thoughtful and talented now. He said guys like that just aren't coming out. He said he's constantly pleased listening to guys like that. He said there are no more Chris Cornells and Eddie Vedders. Howard said he feels like the last good music movement was in the 90s. He said that there hasn't been anything like it since.
Robin said that there wasn't a lot of great music in the 80s. Howard said there was in the 90s. He said there was a lot going on. He said that kind of died off and now it's a wasteland. He said there are some good songs but there's not this excitement about music now. He said Eddie has that vinyl because he grew up listening to that stuff. He said that he thinks Eddie missed that. He said it was really special for him to talk to him.
Howard said just talking to Eddie about his life was great. He said that he had the worst childhood and he came through it. Howard went through the story about Eddie growing up with a father who wasn't his biological father. Howard said he knew a guy who found out he was adopted when he was 40. He said that really crushed him. Howard said that Eddie had a really fucked up childhood. He said that he's not sure how he didn't end up a crazy drug addict who did himself in. He said it's crazy.
Howard said he loved when he asked Eddie about the song ''Elderly Woman Behind the Counter...'' and he picked up a guitar and played. He said he had this great room he was in with guitars on the wall. He said he had some album covers on the wall. He said one was a Who album that was almost a negative of the Who album cover. Gary said it was the cover of The Who By Numbers but it was black and white and turned around. He said it looked like a negative and it looked really cool.
Howard said he had something by The Band too. Gary said it was The Last Waltz. Howard said he brought up The Band and he didn't even notice that thing on the wall. Howard thanked Gus for the call.
Howard said he loved that moment when Eddie sang ''Elderly Woman Behind the Counter...'' after he asked him about it. He played some of that part of the interview.
Robin said that was amazing. She said that everything that happened to him sifted through him and came out that way. Howard said he gets the chills hearing that. He said that watching him play it he'll watch over and over. He said that will be one he plays over and over again to relive that moment.
Howard said he loved when he played the Warren Zevon song too. Robin said she would have burst into tears if she had heard that song live. She said she wasn't able to listen to it. Howard said he remembers Warren going on Letterman and performing that song when he knew he was dying and only had months to live. He said that he wanted to have a song for his wife and kids to remember him by. Howard said it was one of those songs that really touched him. He said that he knew Warren from other songs like Werewolves of London but this was something really great. Howard said he knew that Eddie could do cover versions but when he did that yesterday it was really good. He said it's hard to get through. He played some of the song ''Keep Me In Your Heart'' that Eddie covered yesterday.
Howard said that was beautiful. He said Gary cried twice during it. Howard said that was a powerful performance. He said it was over Zoom too. Howard said it got Gary again. Gary said it did. Howard asked what he was thinking about. Gary said he was thinking about his father and brother. He said he thinks about his own mortality. Robin said she's going to start crying if she looks at him. Howard said Warren hit it right on the head before he died. Gary told Howard what gets him every time and started getting upset.
Howard said Eddie was so great yesterday. Gary said he really was. He said he touches a lot of people and he came across as such a great human being. He said that he didn't disappoint him like some guests.
Howard said Eddie said that he had to compliment his crew. He said that he told him that they were really great. He said they did a phenomenal job with that. He said that he was afraid that the sound wouldn't be good but it sounded unbelievable. He said they got it to sound really good. Gary said that part of that was because of Eddie. He said he sat down for a half hour on Thursday to figure it out.
Howard said that some people come on and they're not that nice but Eddie was genuinely nice.
Howard read some feedback about that Warren Zevon song. He had a bunch of people writing in about how great it was and how it made people cry.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's been a fan since 1992 and she's been a Pearl Jam fan since then too. She said that this was a great interview and a gift. Howard said that this guy can talk and tell stories so it was Eddie who was so good. He said it was a lot of fun for him to talk to Eddie. Robin said she loved his stories. She said he did a great Bruce impression too.
Robin asked if Ronnie will give an endorsement today. Ronnie said he's not sure. Howard got fake Trump on and he was saying that FOX News has called it and he's won. Fake Biden was talking about how he can't take this man's malarkey. Trump was talking about how Joe has a tiny penis. He kept yelling out ''Obamagate'' when Biden would try to speak. He said he has saggy balls too.
Howard said he has to say something. He said it's election day and tensions are high. He asked Trump how he's feeling. Trump said he feels fantastic. He said this is like the Bachelor edition election. He said he's going to get the rose and he's going to grab the country by the pussy because they let you do that. He said if he doesn't win then the election is rigged.
Howard went to Biden who tried to speak but Trump talked over him. Trump said this is why no one shows up at his drive in rallies. He said that he's boring. Biden said Trump has rallies and he strands thousands of people outside in the cold. Trump said it was only cold because they had too many thermometers.
Howard said that he's going to let them speak to Ronnie now. He let Biden go first. Trump said he won't interrupt at all. He was interrupting from the start. Biden talked to Ronnie and said Trump's name so Trump asked if he can jump in since his name was mentioned. Biden talked to Ronnie about what they're going to do for him. Trump asked why he's not talking about Hillary's emails.
Howard asked if Ronnie wants to endorse any of these guys based on what he's heard so far. Ronnie laughed and said no. Howard let Trump speak to Ronnie. Trump told him what he's going to do for him and it all had to do with cars. Howard asked if he will endorse Trump now. Ronnie said that all sounds pretty stupid to him.
Howard let Biden speak to Ronnie again. He mentioned COVID so Trump said that everyone is sick of hearing about that. He said that he knows it's a hoax. He said he's very strong for defeating it but it's also a hoax.
Howard let Biden and Trump speak to Ronnie with their closing thoughts. Trump asked if they're better off than they were 4 years ago or 4 months ago or 4 hours ago. He said that he thinks that he can fall back on Trump steaks again if he has to. He said that he was told the vaccine is just minutes away. He said everything will be fine. He said he was discharged and everyone loves his discharge. He said just ask Ivanka.
Howard let Biden give his final words. Biden gave his final thoughts. Ronnie said that Trump never delivered the pussy to him that he promised. Trump said that was after the election. He said the democrats hate everything they stand for. He said they're going to destroy the suburbs. He said every day is going to be The Purge. He said they're going to ruin the country.
Howard said that he wants to thank both Mr. President and Vice President Biden. Trump said he won. He said that the democrats want to cancel everything. He told Biden to go have a Metamucil cracker and he hopes he chokes on it.
Biden and Trump went back and forth for a minute and then Howard tried to get control over them. Howard said that Trump said that the democrats want college for dogs. Trump said that's right. He went over the reasons they want that.
Howard said they made some good points. Trump asked what you have to lose voting for him because you've lost everything so far. Ronnie laughed. Howard said that was the final debate to win Ronnie's endorsement. He said it didn't work though. Ronnie said no. He said he's already voted. Howard said JD hasn't voted. He said Gary said there's a 90 minute line to vote. Howard asked how that's possible in this country.
Gary said if he has to wait he'll wait. He said he can drop off his mail in ballot if he doesn't want to wait.
Howard asked JD if he's voting today. JD said he is. He said he tried to register in New Jersey and it took a month to go through. He said it just went through yesterday. He said he registered a week or two before the deadline. He said he's good to go.
Will said that he's going to skip it if the lines are too long. Will said he has to work for Howard. Howard said he has to vote.
Howard said he has to stay on line if he has to wait. Howard asked how we don't have a system to easily vote. Robin said we've never had that. Howard said he doesn't understand it.
Robin said she heard that Adobe is working on a secure way to vote that you can do from home. Howard said that's good to hear.
Howard said he sees images from backward countries and that's what we're turning into.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said they got up at 6 this morning to vote and it was no problem. She said she's praying for peace for everyone. She said that she thinks that Ronnie is being trolled about the phone calls that Mark the Screener turned own. Howard said he has no idea what she was talking about. He hung up on her. Robin reminded him what she was referring to.
Howard said he got a note from a psychiatrist who said that Ronnie is refusing to say who he's voting for because he wants to piss everyone off at work so it makes it easier for him to leave when he moves to Las Vegas. Howard said this makes sense. He said that Ronnie grew up in New York and he's done everything there. Robin said he has dedicated his life to the show for like 38 years. Howard said one day he's going to be gone and he's going to wish he'd be there. He said that he has to do something and he's created this war. He said this will make it easier for him to leave. Ronnie said he didn't create this. Howard said he did.
Howard read more feedback about the Ralph and Ronnie thing. Howard said that neither of the guys saved the show last week. He said that they could have had an amazing show. He said Ronnie has to take the heat on this. Ronnie said he will. Howard read an email where the guy said Ronnie has turned into the pussy on the show. Howard read more feedback about Ronnie fucking up the show last week by not revealing his vote.
Howard said once this election is over they're going to have Ronnie test out some dildos. He said that he'll give his reviews on those. Robin said that she thought he was going to do it live on the air. Howard said he's just giving reviews.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said he has a few points. He said that he's Team Ronnie. He said that you have to respect him for sticking to his guns. He said that he's taking a lot of ''Shrapmel.'' Howard asked him to repeat that a bunch of times until he got it right.
Bobo said that Ronnie has to say that Mark the phone screener isn't a bad guy. Ronnie said he never said he was. Bobo said that Mark is always fair to them. Howard said it was weird that he went off on Mark the way he did. He said he seems like an honest guy.
Howard asked Bobo who he's voting for. Bobo said he's not disclosing that. He said he already voted. Howard asked why he's a closed book. Bobo said he was wrestling with who to vote for. He said there's a lot going on with both sides. Howard said that the kids have nothing to do with this. Bobo said he was wrestling with both of them. Howard said he has to know who won the wrestling match. Bobo said he can't say. He said that it was tough. He said it was a tough vote. Howard said he has to know. Bobo said a lot of people would be surprised. Howard said stop pulling the Ronnie card. Bobo said he can't do it. He said it's too much negativity on the social media. He said he's been flying under the radar with that. He said its a photo finish. Howard said he has to know.
Howard asked Bobo what his IQ was. Bobo said it was like 87. Howard said he wants to know how a guy with that IQ votes. Bobo said he went through all of the votes and picked the ones he wanted. He said he was in there for like 20 minutes.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Bobo should change his name to Blowbo. He said that's because the show starts to blow when he calls in. Howard said he's right. He said this could have been interesting but he blew it. Howard let the caller go over that stuff with Bobo.
Howard asked Bobo what he thinks will happen if he says who he voted for. Bobo said just look at the news. Howard said he's no one. Bobo said the people in the street are getting attacked. Howard said listen to reality. He said America already hates him. He said no one is coming after him. Bobo said it's about social media and look at what's happening. Robin said just don't read it.
Howard said people didn't go nuts over him lying about his relative dying on 9/11. Bobo said this is the biggest election of all time. He said it's causing people a lot of anxiety. Robin said that he hasn't said one thing that has proven he can't say who he voted for. Howard said they could go back and forth with this for hours.
Howard told Bobo to be a man. Bobo said he'll say it. He said he was leaning toward Biden but there were a lot of things he wasn't happy about. He said that he has a lot of issues with Trump too. He said he voted for Trump. Robin said of course he did. Howard said at least he's not a pussy. Bobo said this wasn't an easy vote for him. Howard said lets wait and see what happens. Howard said that maybe they'll get to fire Fauci and all the scientists. Bobo said he's not happy about the taxes. He said he's not happy about that. Robin said he voted for a stupid wall. Bobo said that he's done a lot of good stuff. Robin asked what. Bobo went over some stuff that he has done. He said you can't ignore that. Howard said he just admires he said who he voted for. Bobo said he's a true patriot for voting. Robin said she's not sure why he couldn't say who he voted for.
Howard said Bobo is braver than Ronnie. Fred did his Bobo Puppet thing and goofed on Bobo for a short time.
Howard said that the betting has remained unchanged for Florida even after Bobo revealed his vote. Bobo Puppet talked about how long it took him to vote in the voting booth. Howard said there you have it. Robin said he said he's not a sheep somehow.
Howard asked if they have a Swedish Bikini Team over there. Sven said he's not sure about that. Howard asked if they hate Bobo over there too or just here in America. Sven said they do. His phone started to cut out so Howard let him go. He said that guy is putting him to sleep.
Howard asked if anyone knows what the bikini team would do. He said the crew is oddly silent about that. Howard said he thought they had a bikini team and it captured his young man imaginations.
Jon Hein got on and said that he did fine some information about them doing ads for Old Milwaukee beer. He said they modeled for the ads. Howard said maybe that's what he was thinking about. He said he was a kid and he must have seen those ads. He said he must have thought there was a bikini team. He said it was basically an ad campaign. Jon said in 1991 they came out with it again so maybe that's what he's thinking about.
Howard said these days you can't even do ads like that. Jon said in 1982 they were on the cover of Playboy magazine. Howard said that must be what stuck in his head. He said his dream was to manage that team as an adult.
Howard said he knew there was a team. He said they were all blonde and before breast implants so they had big titties that weren't fake. He said it was pretty special. He said he heard that if Trump wins he's going to replace Fauci with the Swedish Bikini Team.
Howard said he never tried Old Milwaukee beer even though that's what they were selling. He said he remembers they just stood there.
Howard said in the next call they called a pro Trump internet show and the host didn't have an issue with a kid talking like Trump. He played that call where the host got a kick out of Little Donnie talking like Trump.
Howard said the lst call they made they had a doctor trying to convince Little Donnie to wear a mask. Howard played some of that call too.
Howard said in the latest call they paired up Little Donnie with Grandpa Joe which is clips of Joe Biden. Robin said they should call into Dr. Phil. She said that would be great. Howard said they'll work on it.
Howard said that they had Jack and Rod with a family therapist. He played the call and Sal and Richard, as Jack and Rod, spoke to the therapist and had Grandpa Joe and Little Donnie on the line to talk. They had Little Donnie saying some wacky stuff and the therapist was trying to help Little Donnie out with his issues. Joe and Donnie went back and forth with their comments and the therapist tried to work things out. The therapist said something about Donnie and he told him to get the hell out of here. The therapist eventually hung up.
Howard said there you go. Robin said it's funny that no one recognizes their voices.
Howard asked if she used to be a man. Hillary said she was not. She said she was born with a ''vagine''. Howard asked if she cut off her breasts. She said no. Howard asked if she had a penis at all. She said never. Howard asked if she has a very long clitoris. She said no to that too.
Howard asked Hillary if she's more butch or femme. She said butch. Howard asked if she has a partner or wife. She said she has a partner who is a psychologist. Howard asked if she's hot. Hillary said she is. Howard asked if she takes on the masculine side. Hillary said she does. She said her partner takes on the doctor role. Howard said he loves this kind of thing. He said this is where he's at.
Howard asked if she wears a strap on in her love making. Hillary said they have occasionally. She said it's not a day to day thing. Robin asked what they do day to day. Hillary said it's regular sex like everyone else does.
Howard asked if Hillary is great at eating a woman's vagina. Hillary said she would say yes. Howard said that's a trick he never learned. He said he needs lessons. He asked what the key is. Hillary said there is no specific one way to do it. She said everyone is different. She said some like it soft and some like it hard. She said it's the same as having sex with someone.
Howard asked if she has any tips. Hillary said that breathing through your nose is wrong. She said you have to be able to breathe through your mouth so you can do it properly. Howard asked how much time she spends down there. He said he's in and out pretty quickly. Hillary said that if you do it right it shouldn't take that long. She said maybe 5 minutes. Howard said she's down there until she orgasms. Hillary said it's going to happen or it's not.
Howard asked why you can't be down there 10 minutes. Hillary said you can. Howard said he's been down there lapping for 2-3 minutes and nothing happens. Hillary said maybe lapping isn't the right thing to do. Howard asked if he should play with titties or ignore them. Hillary told him not to ignore them.
Howard asked if you reach up and turn those things like a knob. Hillary said not like a knob. She said you have to be nice to them.
Howard asked if she licks ass too or does she ignore it. Hillary said she doesn't ignore anything. Howard said he's glad this is taking his mind off the election. Howard asked how old she is. Hillary said 35. Howard asked how old the partner is. She said she's 42. Howard asked who she looks like. Hillary said she looks like Nicole Kidman in her build. Howard said Nicole Kidman has a great body. He said now that's a girl. Robin said this is a girl too. Howard said he's more like Hillary than you know.
Howard asked Hillary not to answer but he's going to ask if she's ever been with a man. He said Robin is going to guess. Howard said he's picturing Hillary looking like Chris Christie. Hillary said that's fucked up. Howard said he was thinking she has some heft on her if she works construction. Hillary said no. She said she looks more like G-Easy. Howard asked who that is. Hillary said he's a white rapper guy.
Howard asked how big her titties are. She said they're like a C. Robin saw a picture of G-Easy. She said he's not bad looking.
Howard said he's betting that Hillary has never been with a man. Robin asked if she can ask a question. Howard said that's not fair. He said she can ask one. Robin asked when Hillary realized she liked women. Hillary said that you have confusing thoughts when you're young. She said that she probably figured it out as a senior in high school. Howard said maybe she did have a guy then. He said a guy has probably had a finger in there. Howard asked if she has fucked a guy. Hillary said she wouldn't say that. She said she has had experiences with a guy. She said she realized she had to get the fuck out of there when she did it. Howard asked if she ever blew a guy. She said no. Howard asked if she took a finger in there. She said sure. She said she has never had sex where she finished with a guy. She said she had to abort the mission. Howard asked what she told the guy. Hillary said it was a guy she knew for a long time and he asked if she was going to leave him with blue balls and said she absolutely. Howard said thank god that never happened to him.
Howard asked Hillary when she met her partner. Hillary said it was 3 years ago. Howard said he thinks they have to be friends for a long time before moving in together. Hillary said they still don't live together. She said they spend a lot of time together but they switch off. She said they don't want to live together until they're going to get married. Howard said he bets that the girlfriend was with dudes. Hillary said she was. Howard said he has this whole thing pegged.
Howard said he needs some video of them going at it. Hillary said she doesn't think her partner would go for that.
Robin asked where they met. Hillary said she met her on Tinder. She said she'd never go on there but she did and found her.
Howard asked if she has hair on her nips. Hillary said no absolutely not. Howard said he bets she has a full bush. Hillary said hell no. She said that's gross. She said you don't want hair in your mouth. She said no one wants that. Howard asked if she's shaved completely. Hillary said yeah. She said that she's clean shaved and you have to have lotion and keep your feet clean and all of that.
Howard asked how her partner's labia are. Hillary said they're fine. She said it doesn't matter if they're long or not. Howard said any dude who is caught up with that has to question their sexuality.
Howard said Hillary is quite a woman. Robin asked what her question was. Howard said he doesn't even know. He said he was busy with her sexuality. Hillary said she was thinking about the whole election thing and she and her dad have been listening for over 25 years. She said they bond over the show. She said the whole Trump thing has fucked things up in the country. She said that Bobo's statements were laughable. She said they are building part of the wall and its not a deterrent. He said it's not a political issue like Trump has made it. She said it's costing us a ton of money and someone climbed the wall a couple of weeks ago and we had to pay for the hospital bill. She said people have to wise up over this and stop worrying about Hunter Biden.
Howard said that the wall isn't keeping anyone out. He said he's glad that she said that. Hillary said it's a disaster to build this wall. She said that it's laughable. She said that they don't need to keep Mexican's out of here. She said they're poor people who will give you the shirt off your back. She said she was in Mexico and she drove around by herself and people were helping her out asking if she needed money. She said don't listen to this fucking guy Trump. She said he's dividing us and using scare tactics.
Howard said she's right about this. He said that everyone who comes into this country has been called names and bad people. He said that it's happened forever.
Howard asked Hillary who she would rather go down on, Ivanka or Melania. Hillary said she's thinking about the person and the brain cells. She said she wouldn't want to fuck either one. Howard said just go by physical attraction. Hillary said probably Melania. She said Ivanka is younger but she's Trump's offspring. She said she's ugly. She said she'd rather have Melania.
Robin asked if she and her dad really bond over the show. Hillary said her dad used to drive her to school every day and the drive was an hour. She said that she's been listening to the show since she was a kid. Howard said the show turned her into a Lesbian. Hillary said she remembers seeing him throwing baloney at girl's asses and stuff like that.
Howard asked Hillary who she would go down on, Hope Hicks or that Kayleigh McEnany. Hillary asked who that Kayleigh is. She said she's trying to think of her face. Howard said she's the new press secretary. He said she's a horrible person from what he's heard. Hillary picked Hope Hicks.
Howard asked about Pelosi or Hillary. Hillary said she thinks that she'd go with Hillary. Hillary said she's probably a freak in bed.
Howard asked Hillary if she'd want AOC or that hot Michigan governor. Hillary said she's going to say AOC. Howard said he likes the way she looks too. Robin asked about AOC or Ilhan Omar. Hillary said she's sticking with AOC.
Howard asked Hillary if she would rather have Sarah Huckabee Sanders or Oprah. Hillary said Oprah.
Howard had one more. He said Sarah Palin or Amy Coney Barrett. Hillary said this is like poking out your eye or poking out your ear. She said she'd probably go with Barrett. She said that she's conservative but she's probably not that way in bed.
Howard asked if she has ever fisted a girl. Hillary said she got close. She said she almost got her whole hand in there. Howard said it's like digging for gold.
Howard asked Katy Perry or Taylor Swift. Hillary said Katy Perry. Howard asked Cardi B or Nicki Minaj. Hillary said Nicki.
Howard asked Michelle Obama or Kamala Harris. Hillary chose Kamala. Howard asked Chaz or Caitlyn. Robin said those are guys. She said one is a guy and one is a woman. Hillary said that definitely Caitlyn. Howard said Chaz still has a vagine. He said they don't give you a penis. Robin said they do. Howard said they give you a bicycle pump to pump something up. Howard asked Hillary what's down there. She said she's never seen that in the flesh. She said it looks rough and a lot to put yourself through. She said that's not something she'd want to do. Howard said maybe in a hundred years they'll be able to do that for you.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if she really wanted to go with Melania after Trump's been in there. Hillary said no but she had to pick someone. Howard said he would fuck Sarah Palin and not care about her politics. He said he's a man and he knows what he needs.
Robin asked when she came out to her parents. Hillary said when she was like 18. She said her dad kind of knew. She said that she hasn't spoken to her mom in about 15 years. He said this whole trump thing has gotten to her dad and it's ruined their relationship. She said he's taken up with Facebook and FOX News. She said it's scary.
Hillary said that she spoke to her dad last night. He said he told her to be safe and she asked how that's possible in this country right now. Howard said you can't think things are in good shape right now.
Howard asked if Hillary thinks Ralph is gay. Hillary said it's hard to say but if he is then maybe he's Asexual. Howard got Ralph on and he said Hillary is great. He said all the points she made were great. He said he also wanted to say that Will has to vote. He said that this has to be a resounding thud on his head. He said if you're still trying to decide then think about how Donald Trump said that he was going to make America great and it's never been worse.
Howard asked Hillary if she'd rather have Ralph or Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Hillary said she'd rather be with Ralph. Ralph said he would do that going down thing on Hillary perfectly. Hillary said maybe he's not gay and just likes butch females.
Howard told Ralph to talk about what he told him on the phone. Ralph said he feels stupid about this. He said he never voted before in his life. He said he never even registered. He said that he's embarrassed by that. Robin said Ralph is the guy who never voted and he's voting this time. Ralph said that he awoke something in him and he's very aware now. He said he knows it's stupid but he's voting and reading everything on the ballot. Robin welcomed him to becoming a citizen finally. Howard said he always had an opinion on politics but he wasn't voting. Hillary said that you have to vote.
Howard said Ralph never missed a vote on American Idol. He said he always called in. Ralph said that voting by mail is tough. He said that he looked into all of the stuff on the ballot. He said he's voting no for the legalizing pot thing.
Gary said that Ralph gave him a whole rap about pot and how he's against it but then he smoked in front of him. Ralph said yeah. He said legalizing it sends the wrong message. He said he hasn't smoked in like 2 years now. He said he stopped smoking everything.
Ralph said that it's a gateway drug. He said that he didn't vote all that time either. Hillary said that she used to smoke and some of her best years she was high.
Howard said this is Hillary's lucky day. He said that Ivanka and Melania are on the phone and they want to debate. Howard got the fake Melania and Ivanka on the line and let them talk to Hillary. Melania said she hasn't had a wet pussy since 1994 when she was hosed down for a photo shoot. Howard asked Melania to convince Hillary to eat her out. Melania gave her some reasons and Hillary said she's not into her because of what she said about Christmas. Ivanka went next and talked about how hot she is and how she must want her. Howard thanked the women for calling in and let them go.
Howard thanked Hillary for calling in too. He said it was interesting to talk to her. Hillary said she was thinking about one other thing here. She said she thinks that Ronnie voted for Biden and he's making a stand and won't say. Ralph said he doesn't think so. He said if you vote for trump you're embarrassed like Bobo. He said Biden also said he won't raise taxes on anyone making $400,000 or less so he doesn't have to worry about that. He said he's just repeating ridiculous information. He said he can't believe he gets to vote. Howard let Hillary go and thanked her again for calling in.
Howard got Will on the line and let Ralph tell him why he should vote. Will said it's Ralph's first time. Ralph said so what. He said this is important. Will said he has work to do. Ralph told him to go work then. He said don't be a smart ass. Will said he will vote unless he has to wait 2 hours to do it. He said he had a mail in ballot but he fucked it up. Ralph said you can get the form and drop it off right there. Will said that doesn't sound easy. Ralph said you just go to the office and get one.
Howard asked what the cut off is for him. Will said he'll vote. He said he'll sit there if he has to. Ralph said they have to have a resounding thud on his head. He said that they're trying to repress the votes. Howard said alright and told him to calm down.
Howard said if Ronnie says who he's voting for will he reveal his sexuality. Ralph said that they say once in a blue moon so try him again in 2023. Howard said he's so mad at Ronnie for that.
Howard said that High Pitch Erik wants to agree with him on the vote thing. Howard took Erik's call and Erik said he mailed in his ballot. He said go out and vote. He said may the best person win. He said don't go out and riot because you're making a bad example of yourself. Howard said that's right. He said High Pitch Erik is telling people not to be a bad example. Robin said he's the worst example.
Ralph said he wants to ask Gary a question. Howard said go ahead. Ralph asked Gary why he would rather vote in person than hand in the ballot. Gary said he needs to go in and know that it counts. He said he just wants to go in and do it. Gary said there's no line there so he's going there after the show. Howard asked if they will know who the next president is tomorrow morning. Gary said he thinks so. He said that Florida will be known before the morning. Robin said she hopes so. Ralph said he hopes they know by Christmas. He said get ready for a horror show for the next 6 weeks. Howard thanked everyone and started to wrap up. Ralph asked if he thinks they'll know. Howard answered like he did as a kid answering his dad. He did his machine gun sound as he was answering just like he did as a 9 year old. Howard said he actually believes they will know by tomorrow. Robin asked if there will be a blue wave. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard had Fred play the clip of his dad asking him a political question about the United Nations and Howard answering in a joking way. That's where his dad says ''I told you not to be stupid you moron.''
Howard thanked Ralph for the call and said they'll see tomorrow morning if they know who won. He said more on that tomorrow. He got in a plug for Gardein after that. They ended the show around 10:10am.
Howard said he didn't know what to do this morning so Beth told him to just let Robin talk. He said last night he was talking to his kids and they're really for Biden and they're not Trump fans. He said that they were having discussions about what might happen. He said he told them he won't be watching the news. He said they're grown women but he can't watch the news. He said they're not going to have a winner. He said he told them he doesn't know what's going on. He said he didn't think they'd have an answer. He said he went to bed and he didn't want to watch the news. He told Beth not to drive him crazy with the results. He said he had to go to bed and work the next morning.
Howard said he's washing up for bed around 7:30. He said he was mentally drained. He said he turned on the TV and there wasn't much going on. He said people were still voting. He said he and his wife watched Lucifer on Netflix. He said Beth was asleep in 3 seconds. He said then he was about to turn off the TV around 9:30 and he had to do it. He said he put on the TV and it was way close. He wondered what the fuck was happening. He said he thought people were sick of the way COVID was being handled.
Howard said he just read about a 20 year old college student dead in her dorm room after being diagnosed with COVID-19. He read some details about her in an article. He said that you can die at 20. He said you're fucking nuts if you think you can't die from COVID-19 at 20. Howard said that she had asthma and died from a blood clot. Howard said she went quick. Robin said that can happen when you have preexisting conditions. She said it can really just take you down.
Howard read about a 19 year old who died from COVID-19 too. Robin said that poor girl died from not being able to breathe.
Howard said he thought they were going to see a landslide. He said he was really wrong. He said it's coming down to the wire. He said it looks to him like Biden will win one they count the votes. He said they have to count the write in votes. He said that this isn't the trashing that he thought we were going to see.
Howard said they did a poll of the Wack Pack last night to find out how they voted. He said it was Trump all the way. Robin said he's always had their vote. She said they like him like they like Ronald McDonald. Howard said he's like a cartoon character. Robin said yeah.
Howard said Trump said we've rounded the corner with COVID-19 and the NY Times said that over 1000 people died from it in a day. He said that America is 50 percent Wack Pack from what he can tell. Robin said when you think like Bobo and Wendy you really have to question how you think.
Howard said they asked Debbie the Cum Lady who she voted for. He played her talking about what she's going to do to celebrate if Trump wins. She was talking about drinking some loads.
Howard said they had her in Florida. He said Tan Mom, Bobo and Wendy the Slow Adult were all in Florida and voted for Trump.
Howard said they asked Tan Mom some questions. He played a clip of Wolfie asking her how many states will vote in this election. She thought it was 12. Wolfie asked her how many political parties there are. Tan Mom said there's the conservative party and the blue collar party. She said that Trump would be in the conservative party. Howard said she really is Sal's dream girl. He said that he doesn't think there's ever been just 12 states in the history of this country. He wondered how she got 12.
Howard said Memet asked Tan Mom who takes over if something happens to the President. He played a clip of Tan Mom saying that the second in hand who is some general takes over. She said that they would have to run an election again. Memet asked how they decide how they win. Tan Mom said it's all based on the votes. Robin asked where she grew up.
Howard said Wendy voted as well. He had some audio of her talking about how she voted for Trump again. Wendy said if he wins then too bad for Howard. She said she voted by ballot and she filled it in by herself. She said that she thinks she filled it out correctly. Wolfie asked if she thinks he will win. She said she does.
Howard said Wolfie called Wendy last night to find out if she was following the election. He had some audio of her talking about how Trump was in the lead. She was telling him what she'd say to Biden if he loses. She didn't even know if she was a democrat or a republican. She thought Trump was a democrat.
Howard said this is what we're dealing with. He said she texted Wolfie at 12:19 to gloat. He said he's telling Wendy not to call him for money any more. He said call Trump instead. He said see how generous he'll be with her.
Howard said that they talked to Gary the Conqueror and he told Sal who he's voting for. Gary said he had his handler, Chad, fill out his ballot for him. Sal asked how he'll feel if Biden wins. Gary said fuck him. He said stop calling him with all of these dumb questions. Sal tried to ask him more but Gary got all pissed off at him. Gary called him a retard a bunch of times. Howard said he must be just doing that because that's what he's been called all his life.
Howard said they had fake Biden call Gary to try to win his vote. He said this didn't go well. Howard played the clip and Biden asked Gary to vote for him. Gary said he's voting for Trump. Gary got all pissed off and yelled at him. He said he got laid off and he has to work. He said he got money thanks to Trump. Biden tried to convince him to vote for him but Gary wasn't going for it. Joe told him about all of this stuff that he should be thinking about but Gary was just interested in strippers and boobies. Gary asked who he's going to vote for. Joe said he's voting for himself. By then he had convinced Gary to vote for him.
Howard said that he thought it was a lock but it wasn't. Robin said he'd have to talk to Gary every day. Howard said Biden did win Oregon with 57 percent of the vote. Robin said that was never in question. Howard said Trump might have to call in later so grey can console him.
Howard said he wants to thank Mariann from Brooklyn who saw some reporters doing a report and she did a Baba Booey bomb. He said she was a bit muffled but she tried. Howard played the clip from ABC News. You could hear her crowing in the background but it wasn't very clear. Howard said she was wearing a Howard Stern mask in that.
Howard took a call from Mariann and she said that the cameramen start coming after her when she does that. She said she got it out and ran off.
Mariann said that she was so upset about Ronnie and Ralph that she wrote an Op-Ed to the paper about it. She said she hopes we can stop with the fighting. She said that they only have 15 shows left. She said she was hoping he would have news about signing. Howard said he doesn't have any news. He said he wishes he had news but he doesn't. He said no matter what you've read in the paper that's all fake news.
Howard said Mariann has such a loud and powerful voice but her Baba Booey's don't get out. He said as far as his contact goes it all comes down to Pennsylvania. He said we'll see what happens.
Howard said he's always amazed there's not a better way to count the votes. He said we're so technologically advanced but they can't figure it out. He said he wishes they'd have a quick vote like American Idol does. Robin said each state has their own way of doing it. She said they should be upgrading to something 21st century. She said she was drawing circles on paper to vote.
Howard asked Debbie if she was drinking loads last night. She said she was and she was with a guy who had to sneak her into his house. She said she blew him and left around 5 this morning after watching the election. She said she got 3 loads from him last night. She said she knows that Trump is going to win so she was celebrating.
Debbie said that she loves the taste of a load and she savors the taste. She said that there's noting disgusting about it.
Robin asked where the load is that she had in the car before that. She said she has some in her freezer as emergency loads.
Howard asked if she would blow a Biden supporter. Debbie said that she knew this guy was a Trump supporter. She said she tries not to talk politics with people. She said she's better off not knowing. She said the Trump supporters have better loads. He said some guys can hardly cum so grey must be Biden supporters. She said that the Trump supporters have great loads and the Biden supporters can barely get one load out.
Howard asked about freezing cum and how long it takes to defrost. She said it doesn't take long. She said she can just suck it like a Popsicle. Howard said it's like a Cumsicle. He told the guys to patent that.
Howard asked Debbie if she ever puts cum in her coffee. Debbie said no because she likes the way it tastes by itself. She said she doesn't like to mix it with anything. She said these are emergency loads. She said she will take them to work with her too and drinks them while driving. She said it prevents road rage.
Howard asked what she does when she has to wait for a second load from a guy. He asked if she'll stick a finger up his ass. He said that's what she always does. She said that gives her the best loads. She said guys all love that even if they don't admit it.
Howard asked Debbie if she sticks her finger up there to get the full load out. She said she'll use a vibrator or her fingers or tongue. She said the prostate isn't that far in. Howard said that Robin is furiously taking notes. Robin said her hands are empty.
Howard asked if she likes a chunky or smooth load. She said she likes them smooth so she can keep them on her tongue.
Robin asked Debbie why she likes Trump. Debbie said that he's not a politician and he's very blunt and says what he means. She said there's no bullshitting. She said he won't give you a bullshit answer. She said that during the pandemic of course the economy is going to be bad. She said it was good before that. She said that Biden wouldn't have done anything to get rid of this virus. She said that Trump didn't want people to panic... Howard said he has to be honest, he wants to shove his dick in her mouth right now. Howard said he could discount what she just said but he won't do it. He said he likes Debbie the Cum Lady. He let her go after that. Howard said that she just said he was an honest guy and he didn't want to upset people about the virus. Howard said you could say the same thing about his grandpa and he'd make a horrible president.
Howard said people are wondering why it's taking so long to count the votes. He said he has someone on the phone who is counting them in Pennsylvania. the guys were playing clips of Beetlejuice counting. He was going from 10 to 30 and then to 200. He said then it was 510. Howard said they should let him get back to work. He said that democracy is in action.
Howard said they have more votes from the Wack Pack. He had Wolfie talking to Bigfoot. Bigfoot said he's not voting.
Howard said High Register Sean is very cryptic about his voting plan. He played a clip of Seany talking about how he doesn't trust the mail in ballot thing so he's going to do it in person. He said he won't say where or what time. He said he doesn't want to be sidetracked or monitored. He said he doesn't want to be kept from voting.
Howard said he needs further clarification on that. He said this guy thinks he's being tracked. Howard got Seany on the line and he was saying he's been in a few states over the past few days and the military vehicles out there show what's about to come. He said there are many out there.
Howard asked what's about to come. Seany said no matter who wins this election half of the country is going to be pissed and it'll push them into a riot. He said the best way to enact martial law is to have half the country trying to destroy the other. He said it's going to be a blood bath.
Howard said he thinks that Biden is going to win by a squeaker. He said it shows the country is split right down the middle. He said there seems to be something to what High Register Seany is saying. He said that they're boarding up the country. He said the White House is boarded up. He said he's not sure why they think we have to go to war. Seany said that the media is doing all of this.
Howard asked Seany if he's going to go down into his bunker and get ready for the war. Seany said he took the day off of work just in case it goes down. Howard said today he'll be hiding in his bunker. Seany said he will. Howard said he thinks he'll be like the Japanese soldiers and he won't know that the war is over. Seany said he can monitor his phone. He said he has some news sites that he trusts.
Howard asked if he thinks we're moving away from a democracy. Seany said we are. He said that he did vote. He said they're all controlled by the overlord. Howard said this is where he loses him. Seany was going on and on about the shadow government and things like that. Howard said this sounds like some Alex Jones stuff. He asked if he's going to say who he voted for. Seany said he voted for a third party candidate. It was Harley Hawkins or something like that. Howard said of course he did. He said he's a fucking maniac.
Seany said he was followed from his voting location. Hard said he can't follow a fucking thing he's saying. Howard asked who followed him. Seany said he doesn't know who. Howard said his life would be so boring if he wasn't into this stuff. Seany said he pulled up to vote and it was late at night. He said a car pulled up behind him and he came back out and they were still in their car. He said he drove away and they followed him turn after turn.
Howard said maybe it's another radio show trying to get him on their show. Seany said he had a vehicle pull up behind him and they never got out. Howard said he's just paranoid. He said there's no reality to that. Robin asked if he lost them. Seany said he did. He said he drove down a one way street going the wrong way. He said he got out of the car and made sure they weren't there. Robin said they were never following him.
Howard asked if the guy had lizard like features. Seany said it was dark out. He said they weren't a good driver though. Howard asked if they were shape shifters. Seany said maybe. Fred played some Goodfellas music while they were talking about this. Howard asked if the driver ever got out and barked at him. Seany said it had nothing to do with dog men.
Howard asked if he's dressed as a bush right now. Seany said no. He said that's ridiculous. Howard said he thinks this was dog men and they had tennis balls in their mouths.
Howard asked Seany if there's any possibility that one of them was Justin Bieber. Seany hung up. Howard said he has an issue with that name.
Howard said High Pitch Erik voted. He played a clip of Shuli talking to Erik about how he voted. He didn't want to say who he voted for. Shuli said he said it in 2016. Erik said he won't say until grey have a winner. He also said he had his home health aide take his ballot in for him.
Howard said that they talked to Lenny Dykstra. He played a clip of Lenny talking about Trump and how he's a real man. He said Biden can't even get wood. He said he has to take 5 dick pills and he still won't get wood. He said at least Trump is a fucking man.
Howard said Lenny and Debbie should hook up. Robin said this logic is that he's a better man but not a good man. Howard said that Lenny takes dick pills so he's projecting there. Robin said he doesn't even have his own teeth.
Howard said guess who Sour Shoes voted for. He said he voted for Trump too. Howard played a clip of Sour Shoes talking to one of the guys about how he voted. Sour said that Trump helped him change a tire back in the summer of 1999. He started singing a song about that.
Howard said Sour is a hard core conservative. He said he was watching the results on this OAN network. Robin said that network scares her.
Robin said they have a congresswoman who believes the Qanon theories. She said that they now have her sitting in Congress.
Howard asked Jon if it's possible that they haven't counted all the write in votes yet. Jon said yes. He said the good news is that the write in votes are leaning toward a the democratic side.
Howard said he was going to say that if all of the states stay where they are, who would win. Jon said as of this moment Trump would win the election. Jon said the but is that Wisconsin is coming in this morning. Jon went over what could happen if Biden wins certain states he could win. Howard asked Jon who he thinks will win. Jon said he thinks that Joe Biden will. He said that he thinks that he'll have 290 electoral votes.
Howard asked Jon what he predicts for the senate. Jon said that's a whole other ball game. He went over that with Howard too.
Howard said that he has Trump on the phone. He said that he's declaring that he's a winner. Howard tried to get him on but he wasn't there.
Jon said that the odds makers were saying that Trump was going to win Florida. He said now they have Biden at a 68 percent chance of winning. He said his odds were down to 25 last night. He said there was a huge shift that moved him back into the favorite status. He said it's going to be a tight race.
Jon said that Kanye has conceded. He said that he had over 60,000 votes. Howard said he'd love to talk to those 60,000 people. Robin said if they do another 5 years there they should talk to every one of those people.
Howard had fake Trump on the line so he talked to him about the election. Trump said that things went great and the voter turn out was incredible. He said especially in the states that they made it hard to turn out for. He said that many liberal states went for him. He said that people eat it up for him. Howard said he can't declare victory yet. He said there are a lot of votes to be counted.
Trump said that he has won and that Jon Hein is fake news. He said that if Sleepy Joe didn't run against him he would have had 100 percent of the votes like Putin or Kim Jong Un.
Howard said he did very well with the Latino vote. Trump said they are incredible people. Howard said he did very well and better than the polls said he was going to do. Trump thanked a few people for helping him. He said we're in the lead with the virus too. He said he's sick of COVID. He said today it's all about him. He said he wants to thank many people. He thanked Regeneron, Adderal, Remdesivir and many others. He said he has to thank the Proud boys who are still standing by. He thanked the drivers down in Texas who almost ran the Biden buss off the road. He said he has to thank Ruth Bader Ginsburg for dying. He said that he has to thank Rudy for outsmarting that Sacha Baron Cohen. He said that he has to thank Sleepy Joe too.
Howard asked who else he wants to thank. Trump said he wants to thank that one black guy who showed up at his rallies. He said that he wants to thank Howard too. He said he wants to say thanks to Debbie the Cum Lady. He said they did so well with those people.
Howard said this is very unlike him thanking so many people. Trump said that he has to do that. He said he has to thank the rioters and looters. He said that they were taking the attention away from the global pandemic.
Howard said he really thanked a lot of people. Trump said that he has to thank Bobo too. He said he wants to thank America too.
Howard said he's declaring a win but he hasn't won yet. Trump said they should stop counting the votes. He said we don't have to count. Howard said we get to choose who we want for president. Trump said that they all did a tremendous job. He said that they're closer than they think. He said counting is for nerds. He said they should just stop now.
Howard said that he has to thank him for calling in. He said that he was thanking everyone including the fly on Pence's head.
Howard took a call from a guy counting votes in Wisconsin. They had clips of Bigfoot counting and getting the numbers out of order.
Howard said this is important so they'll keep quiet and he can go back to counting. They had Bigfoot saying he lost count. He started over.
Howard went through some other details with Jon who was reading through some stuff. They talked about some of the guys they watch on different networks who are doing a good job covering this. Jon said he will get the total on the write in votes for him.
Howard said he has Alex Jones on the line. Fake Alex got on and started spewing out the crazy conspiracy theories. He said he's praying to god that Trump has the ability to defeat these demons. He stated crying thinking about all of that. Howard said he was saying that the democrats are anti-human. Alex had some wacky theories about that.
Fake Alex read about his tank driver and what his fans are saying about him. Howard said he had a similar problem with his limo driver. He said it's a serious problem.
Alex got in plugs for products he promotes on his show. He did his commercials like Howard used to do his. Alex said he has to go take a pish and then get to more updates.
Howard asked why they're arresting Fauci. Alex said he runs the death camps. He said they want to give people HIV and that's why grey have to arrest him and Bill Gates.
Howard let Alex go after that and asked Jon if he has any updates. Jon gave him some updates on the absentee ballot counts in Michigan. He said they're thinking Biden will take Michigan. Howard said they're going to take a break. He got in a plug for SignalWire who sponsored the show today.
Howard came back and sang a little bit of the Alanis Morissette song. He said what a weird morning. He said they kind of knew this might happen. He said here we are in that reality. He said last night Trump came right out and said he won. Robin said he said that it was embarrassing that they're still counting and he won.
Howard said they have had a busy morning. He talked about what they learned with Debbie the Cum Lady.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked how Ralph is getting a free pass for bashing Ronnie and bashing him and he never voted in a prior election. Howard said they went over that yesterday. Bobo said they kind of ''glassed over it'' yesterday. He said that it's a free country and Ralph hasn't voted in any election. Howard said they went over it yesterday. He said he knows Bobo loves being on the air.
Howard said Bobo took a bashing in the email too. He read through some of that and people were saying they're going to unfollow him because of what he said yesterday. Howard said someone said that Bobo was wrong about so many things he said about Trump yesterday.
Howard said Ronnie took a beating in the email too. He said they want to change his name to Ronnie the Bore, Ronnie the Disappointment and others. Howard said he went from show hero to show zero according to these people.
Howard got Ralph on the phone and let Bobo ask his question. Ralph said he hasn't looked at anything so he doesn't know about the election yet. Howard said it hasn't been decided yet. He said it's very close. Ralph said it was close last night. Bobo tried to say something but Ralph told him to shut up. Bobo said he doesn't have the right to go after him if he's never voted before. Ralph said he never voted, so what. Bobo said he has no right to bash Ronnie for who he voted for. Ralph said he's so dumb that he doesn't understand. He said he didn't trash him for voting or not voting. He said they have nothing to do with each other.
Howard cut Bobo off and told Ralph what's going on with the election so far. He gave him a rundown of what Jon told him earlier. Ralph said this is fucking ridiculous. Howard said we go through this every election. He said we refuse to fix it. Robin said the president said we always know the answer at the end of the day but that's just not true.
Ralph said he doesn't understand the whole electoral college thing. Howard said it could change but it helps the minority to get their candidate to win. Robin said that she's calling for a constitutional convention so grey can redo the constitution. Robin said it doesn't work anymore.
Howard said that he has to say this is very radical from Robin. Robin said grey have things that are tradition and we no longer go by those traditions. She said that we can't deal with a two party system anymore. She said it doesn't work. Howard said the NY Post is saying that Robin says that the founding fathers were idiots. Robin said she never said that. She said this system just doesn't work anymore.
Ralph asked if there's any senate news. Howard said it really hasn't changed at all. Bobo asked if he thinks Biden will take Pennsylvania. Howard said he thinks that Biden might take Pennsylvania.
Howard and Robin talked about how Mitch McConnell and Lindsay Graham are still in. Ralph was sickened by that news. Howard said he was shocked by that too. Ralph said people are fucking morons for wanting this guy as their president.
Howard said he has the person counting the votes in Pennsylvania. He took the call and the guys had Wendy the Slow Adult doing the count. She was all over the place with her numbers. She was counting the votes for Trump and ''Brian.''
Howard said he has to hang up so she doesn't lose count. Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to tell him he appreciates him taking all of those calls from the Wack Pack. Fred had some fun with the ''Hey now!'' clip and the caller. He'd play it and the caller, Jim, would say it back. Jim said that the true divider is the ignorant people. He said they always voted for Trump. He said they enjoy celebrity status. He said it's the same reason Howard was ahead when he ran for governor. He said he feels like there's an ignorant part of the population that didn't vote in 2016.
Howard said he brings up a good point. He said he was goofing around when he ran for governor. He said he had the most ridiculous statements about bringing the death penalty back and filling potholes with their crispy bodies. Howard said he got so scared that he was doing well that he had to back out. Howard said when he ran for governor it freaked him out. He said they were going to make him governor. He said he didn't want that. He said sometimes it's the cult of personality vote.
Jim said that it's unfortunate about how this is going. He said Howard has to re-sign so they have a voice of reason out there. He said he's been a fan since 1995 and he's always appreciated him. He said he got kicked out of class for writing book reports on his books. Howard said he's impressed that he wrote book reports on his books. He let Jim go after that.
Howard said a lot of the staff were on Zoom comforting each other. Robin said they didn't invite her. Howard said they know they won't come if they're invited. Howard said he heard a story about Chris Wilding. Gary was there in the Zoom too. Howard asked who else was there. Chris' microphone was acting up. Howard laughed. Howard said he reminds him of Robbie the Robot. He said there's something fucked up with his sound. He said he has to turn him off. Howard said maybe he'll take a break and get him back on. Howard said Chris stormed out of the room and got upset. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and talked up the song ''Ohio'' as he would have back at WNBC. Howard talked about a tissue box that grey gave away there. Robin said she was wondering who would want something like that. Howard said they never even gave them to him. He said he thinks they didn't do that because he would have goofed on it.
Howard said if you give something away on the radio people will freak out. He said even if it's garbage shit. He said when he was 9 he got a phone call from a WOR DJ. He said this guy asked if he was the lady of the house. He said he had a high voice. He said it was Julius La Rosa calling for his mom to be on the radio. He said he asked her a dumb question and said she could win a prize if she knew the answer. He said his mother didn't know the answer. He said his mother was freaking out and Julius told her she wasn't going to win the STP oil treatment and jacket. He said that his mom was walking around upset.
Howard said his father came home from work and he was miserable. He said that he's ready to eat and his mother is all upset. He said he told his dad even though she told him not to. He said he told his dad and his dad was all excited about Julius calling them because he did commercials with him. He said his mom told him what they could have won if they answered the question. She didn't remember what it was. He did impressions of his parents talking about all of that.
Howard said they actually got that STP thing and the oil was leaking when grey got it. He said that they must have sent it to them by accident. Howard said his mother panicked when she got that call. Robin said she thought she was always ready for anything.
Howard said he thinks his mother was afraid that his father would find out she didn't get the answer. Howard said people freak out when they win something. He said that they'd give away those WNBC tissue boxes and people would freak out practically orgasming. Howard did more of his impression of his mother getting upset that she didn't answer.
Howard said his mother has 5 or 7 stories about him that she'll tell everyone. He said he doesn't go around telling her friends about how she fucked up that call. He said he was her best friend. He said someone compliments him and she'll tell the story about how the doctor said he smiles like a mongoloid when he was born. He did an impression of her telling that story. He had his dad talking about it too. Howard said he never told the story about his mom choking when Julius La Rosa called.
Howard said there were a couple of stories that she'd tell about him. He told another one about how he'd be a D student according to the guidance counselor. He said she always had to tell those stories to people who would come over.
Howard said there was a girl who wanted to be his friend and not a girlfriend. He said she was a great girl. He said they'd be having lunch or something and his father would walk in and tell stories about how he tried to teach him multiplication and he got a D. He said they told this girl that story. He said this is what they did to him. He said his father would brag about his recording studio and then tell stories about him.
Howard said his parents would brag about not carrying pictures of their children in their wallet. He said they'd tell stories about him coming home with ''grit'' in his underpants.
Howard said that fucked him up. He said he never brought another girl home. He said he was dating a girl in Princeton and he never brought her home. He said that she eventually realized that he had nothing going on and she broke up with him.
Howard said Beth never met his parents. He said that's how he's held on to her so long. He said she thinks he's an orphan.
Howard said grey always had 6 or 7 stores that would humiliate him. Robin asked if they told stories about Ellen. Howard said they were always positive stories. He did his impression of his mother talking about how great she was and what a dummy he was.
Howard said they'd turn it on him if someone asked about Ellen. He said this is why he won't let anyone roast him. He said he has been roasted his whole life in front of good looking women.
Howard said he had a friend named Rita who was dating Dr. Lou. He said that he was going to try to steal her away from Lou. He said she came over to his house and he went to his bedroom. He said there was a note on the bed that said he was punished for leaving a t-shirt on the bed. He said everyone was laughing at him. He said he wasn't able to score with that going on.
Howard asked Jon if he was part of the Zoom chat last night. Jon said he was not. Howard asked Gary what was going on with that. Gary told Howard they were following the election and talking and this guy Ryan was on. He said that Ryan innocently said something to Chris about tit being the first election for him. He said Chris said fuck you and shut off his camera and left.
Howard asked Jason if he was watching this. Jason said he was. He said Chris just said he was out of there and ran off. Howard said he heard Chris was upset that grey weren't taking it seriously. Chris said they were barely talking about the election. He said that's fine. He said if the night had gone differently he would have been in a better mood. He said this election means a lot to him and he's emotional about it. Chris said he loves these guys but they are so negative and pessimistic. He said at 9 at night there were people saying it was done and he's gone. He said he's trying to reason and the more he tries the more angry people are getting with him.
Chris said that they were doing this thing on CNN and it looked like Biden was losing. He said the guys were goofing on him and saying fuck you and all. Gary said he was on the call but he feels like he was on a different call. He said none of this was happening. Chris said Gary was talking about something not related. He said he felt like the world was crumbling and this whole thing is confusing to him. He said that maybe he's just dramatic.
Gary said at times they were talking about other things. He said they weren't watching the vote every second. He said grey were pretty invested in it but not every second. Howard asked what was going on with Chris. Gary asked if he has a beef with Ryan. Chris said not really. He said when someone turns to you and asks if it's your first US Election and if you know how it works. Chris said of course it's not. He said he knows how it works. He said it was condescending.
Howard said that he heard he had a good cry with Ralph after that. Chris said he did. He said he was a blubbering mess. He said he can't believe that half the country can be conned by this guy. He said this guy is a con man. He said that people are fucking dying and this guy has no plan. He said that half the country is okay with just letting this virus rip. He said it felt a little slight. He said he wanted someone's shoulder to cry on.
Jason said that Chris is way over emotional. Chris said that's because this doesn't affect him. He said that it doesn't affect Ronnie either. Jason said he went into the night not expecting a big blow out. He said it didn't make him happy. He said he was numb. He said Chris wasn't in the mood to be happy. He said that's fine.
Howard said he has some audio of Chris leaving that meeting. He played it and Ryan asked Chris about the election and Chris got upset with him and left.
Howard asked how he's feeling now about this. Chris said he hopes Biden wins and the senate too. He said if he gets in maybe it'll stop the bleeding. He said the country needs a dad and no one wants that. He said the country needs that. Howard said he's right. He said that we do need a leader. Robin said it's a shame we need a dad. She said there are a bunch of juveniles running the country right now.
Gary said he woke up super depressed and he was thinking he'd wake up to Trump winning. He said he got downstairs and when it wasn't a victory for Trump he had some hope. He said now he sees a difficult but clear path for Biden. He said the country is still going to be a shit show but it'll be with a guy who can run things right. He said he'll put the right people in place. He said he never imagined that Trump would just reward friends.
Howard asked Jason what he's thinking. Jason said he's been staring at the numbers all morning. He said that if all the votes get counted he's thinking that it could go Biden's way. He said he is so angry and disgusted with how close this vote even is. He said that he can't just snap his fingers and change things immediately. He said that we might get back in the right direction but it's all very scary how close this is and what it says about who we are as people.
Howard said that he has the guy who is counting the votes in Nevada on the line. He had the guys playing clips of Ronnie doing counts and going from 67 to 68 and then ''Sixty nine!!!''
Jason said that Chris is upset with some people who he might thing are closeted Trumpers. Chris said they're just contrarians who want to go against you. Howard said Benjy can do that. Jason said that Benjy was on with them last night. He said he was laying in bed and all you could see were his eyes.
Howard said that if Joe Biden is leading in all of the states that he needs to win this thing. He said that might help Chris. He said he has to give him some hope. Chris said he has an $80 bottle of champagne in his fridge that he wanted to open last night. He said that he might be able to open it tomorrow or the next day.
Howard said he would have loved to have heard Chris talking to Ralph. Chris said he cold have gotten there in Zoom but the guys weren't accepting.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was calling in to defend Ronnie. He was talking about some fake news campaign he was doing so Howard said he has no idea what he was talking about so he hung up.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Chris is being a whining little baby about this. She said she agrees about Trump. She said it's almost impossible to get rid of an incumbent president. She said it's not all about Chris. Chris fought back and said she's a dummy. He said it's not about him. He said that he was talking about how it's the country he's afraid for. He said he has an escape hatch and he can go back to Canada. He said she's a Trump supporter and she's full of shit.
Howard took a call from Michael Rapaport who said he has been anxious and up like everyone else. He said he voted for Biden but he has to go after Chris who is a crying little bitch. Chris went off on him saying that he just calls in to get on the air because Howard gave him some life with his career. Chris and Michael talked over each other like everyone does with Michael.
Howard said this is silly. He let them go at each other for a little longer. Robin said this is odd that they're both for Biden and they're fighting.
Howard asked Michael about the Jets and Giants and how they have only won one game out of 16 between them. Michael said it's an abomination. He said the Knicks too. He said they're the worst. He said he can't explain why they're bad. He said they should both be better.
Howard asked why the Giants and Jets don't have the same culture as the Patriots. Gary gave his thoughts on that. He said Bob Kraft owns the Patriots and they're very important to him. He said some teams try to fix things really quick. He said that doesn't work.
Michael said that the Knick's owner is really bad too. He said they've tried to fix things there and it doesn't work. Robin said some of the Knicks games are like they have never played basketball before. Howard said please don't say that because he'll lose those seats he gets up front.
Gary talked about the Jets again and talked about how awful they are. Howard said he has to tell them that the General Managers at radio stations didn't have a clue so maybe it's the same thing with sports teams.
Howard said when he was growing up if you played in New York that was the way to get to fame. He said now they tell college players to stay in school to avoid being drafted by them.
Michael and Chris started going at each other but Chris' microphone stopped working again. Howard said he has to wrap this up. He let Michael go. Chris got back on and said he doesn't know what's going on with his microphone. Robin asked if he cried into it last night. Chris said he did not.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said Chris was a fucking mess last night. He said he sent him texts and he was drinking and he told him not to. He said this wasn't the night to drink. He said he told him it was going to be a long night. Howard asked if he tried to comfort him. Ralph laughed. Howard said that's the last guy he would call to get comfort.
Howard said Benjy has been staring at him through Zoom for a few minutes. Benjy said Chris has every right to have feelings. He said he has feelings too. He said Chris attacking Ryan is wrong. He said that Chris would have done the same thing if someone else had reacted that way to something else. He said they were all having fun yesterday. Chris and Benjy started talking over each other. Howard let that go on for a few seconds.
Gary said Ryan is still holding to his guns and he's still not sure what happened. Howard said he's had enough of this. He said he understands that everyone is on edge. Chris said he apologizes.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she wants to support Chris. She said that what he has to realize said that he's a woman and he's dealing with a bunch of old white men. Howard said she has a good point there. The caller said that Benjy needs help. Howard said he's confused by all of this.
Ralph asked if he wants him to read his texts. Chris said he's not sure he wants him to. Howard said he heard that Ryan doesn't have a washing machine so he washes his clothes manually. The guys talked about how he has to manually churn his clothes to clean them. Chris said this is the guy asking if he's in touch with society.
Howard asked if he's going to read the texts or not. Chris said they're probably not very nice. Howard said it's alright. He said he needs a breather from all of them.
Howard said Wolfie's grandmother is in an old age home and she's suffering. He said that this whole thing is so politicized with the mask wearing. He said this woman is 86 years old and she lives in a nursing home. He said that's not a safe place to be right now. He said that her name is Verna. He said they're going to hear what she thinks about the state of this country.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to Verna about finding someone dead in the nursing home. She told a story about how this woman sat down and died in a chair in the hall. Wolfie asked if she shit her pants. Verna said she did.
Howard got Wolfie on the line and asked if he put her in this shit hole. Wolfie said that was his mom's choice and Verna actually chose that place.
Howard said Wolfie's grandma told them about the stealing that goes on in that place. He played a clip of Verna talking about how they steal money and jewelry when someone dies. She said they will steal you blind.
Howard said it sounds like the Walking Dead. He said it sounds like they're full of grave robbers from a Dickens novel.
Howard played a clip where Verna talked about someone stealing a ring that this guy had for 70 years. Howard said he can't end up in a nursing home. He said he has put up with too much shit to go back to something like that. He said it would be too much for him.
Howard said there's never a dull moment in these nursing homes. He said you have quarantine and all of this stuff going on. Wolfie said they fight with each other all the time too. He said the old ladies fight with each other and call each other names. Howard said it's like being in prison.
Howard said most of the workers quit this place after COVID. He said there's a 93 year old woman who sits slumped over and that's because no one is around. Wolfie said he can't even go visit. He said they had a tent outside to go visit them in. He said that they had some nudnik show up with 10 people so they had to lock it down. He said now you have to go look through a window to visit.
Howard said next time you want to walk around without a mask this is what people are going through because you won't wear a mask.
Howard played another clip of Verna talking about a 100 year old woman she's in there with and how sad it is to live out her 100th year in that place.
Howard said she sounds like she's really with it. Wolfie said it's her legs that give out so she has to be in a scooter. Howard asked if Robin would goof on him if he showed up in a scooter. Robin said she might be in a scooter too.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie talking to Verna about how they fought in World War II and this generation won't even wear a mask. Wolfie asked if she had to go through anything worse when she was growing up. She said if you got the measles or the mumps they would quarantine you and put a sign on your house. She said they weren't able to leave the house. She said they're a bunch of pussies for not wearing a mask.
Wolfie said if they saw you walk out of the house with that sign on they would report you. Howard said his dad was quarantined with scarlet fever.
Howard said that his grandma was very blunt about people who won't wear masks. He played a clip of her going off on people who won't wear them. Howard said he knew that his generation would ruin this country and he was right.
Howard played a clip of Wolfie's grandma talking about how spoiled the Baby Boomers are because they didn't have to do anything growing up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he lives in Arizona and he has father who is 86 and he just had surgery recently. He said everyone is acting so entitled and spoiled. He said that they have such simple rules and directions and they won't follow them. Howard said this is why we need leadership. He said that we can't have this anti-science bullshit. He said it appears to be a cliff hanger.
The caller said that he sees more people walking around without masks on. He said that they have a law there in his town about wearing masks. He said he has an auto immune disease so he worries. Howard asked about where this guy served. He said he was in the Army and he as a sergeant and served in Germany and Afghanistan. He said all he's asking for is people to wear masks. He said it's not that hard. He said he served in the Army and he went through a lot and all he's asking for is you to wear a mask.
Howard asked the caller, Hector, what his PTSD came from. He said he was around a lot of bombs and stuff and he is affected when he hears certain sounds. He said he's gay too and he was assaulted. He said he was given a drink and he woke up in a warehouse hours later. He said he got through it though. He said he had no choice. He said that he is able to talk about it now.
Howard asked Hector about the assault and what happened there. Hector said it was a lot. He said he's not sure who did this to him. Howard asked if he had them do an investigation. Hector said he asked for a restrictive investigation. He said it was just too much he didn't want to recount. He said that it wasn't the time to do it.
Hector said he's sorry he derailed the conversation. Howard said he's worried about him. He said all this guy is looking for is people to wear a mask to keep people healthy. Hector said he didn't survive just to have it end this way. Robin said people don't think about anything but their own wants and needs. She said that's what she sees.
Howard told Hector to hang in there. Hector thanked Howard and the rest of the guys. Howard asked if he has a boyfriend or anyone during this thing. Hector said he does and he's a corrections officer in Texas. He said he's going to move next year around April so he'll be with him then. He said it's been hard to do with COVID. Howard told Hector to hang in there.
Wolfie told Howard that his grandma said she just wants to close her eyes and die because she doesn't see an end to this. Howard said that's sad. Robin said there are people who are at the end of their lives and this is how it's going to end. Howard said Ronnie is doing fine. He said he has nothing to complain about. He said he's eating well, sleeping well and has a young girlfriend. Howard said he's doing fine. Wolfie agreed. Howard said Ronnie didn't even watch the election last night. He said it was boring. He said he didn't even have sex last night.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to comment on the Mitch McConnell thing. He said that he's living in a sea of red. He said they are grateful to the citizens of New York and other states that fund things there. He said that McConnell throws some pork out and gets the votes. He said that he doesn't want the rest of America to lose hope over these areas. He said they work hard down there and they are going out trying to get a more inclusive America. He said people like Hector and Chris Wilding make him want to do the work to make this country work. He said that there are people like him fighting the good fight down there. Howard said he gets what he's saying.
Howard said that even in New York people think that they're a Liberal town. He said the city is pretty much liberal but out where he is an upstate New York is very conservative. He said that they're not all liberal. He said it's a state that's very conservative. Robin said that's the same with California. Howard said that from what he's seeing most of the states are 50/50. He said that it's very close in Michigan right now.
Howard took a call from fake Mitch McConnell who said that this guy sounds like a real pussy. The caller said that he's not as big a pussy as his neck is. They went back and forth with that for a minute. Howard let Mitch and the caller, Justin, go after that.
Howard said that Gary has an Alter-ego which is Flirty Gary. He said that he uses the cheesiest pick up lines to pick up women. He said it's amazing how many dating sites are out there. He said they have had Gary call women and men. He said they've called gay dating sites, mature sites and others. Howard played one of the calls where they had Gary talking to an 83 year old woman and trying to pick her up.
Howard said that the amazing thing is that he says the most awful things but they love it. He said that it seems like the red and blue states all love Gary no matter how you vote.
Howard said they found a dating site for men with small penises. He said they did this for Cocktober. He said the site specializes in women who want to find men with accommodating members. He said they found a bunch of women who were interested and they talked to this one. Howard played the call where Flirty Gary hit on this woman with his goofy pick up lines. They had Gary saying crazy stuff about the size of his penis. They had him asking the woman if she's a search party because it's going to be hard to find this dick. They had him talking about his tiny dick a lot. The woman seemed to be into it. She said she was feeling it and sounded like she wanted to go on a date with him. They had Flirty Gary tell her to give him a call. She said she'll think about it.
Robin said there is no way you could put up with those lines and think there's a possibility of a relationship. Howard said she sounded really cute too. Robin said that Gary had one line after the next and she's thinking of calling him. Howard said he's a super confident guy with a tiny penis.
Robin said that it was Kenosha, Wisconsin that turned the election last time. Jon said that Biden won there this time. He said the other numbers are coming in now. He said in terms of the popular vote Trump got 66.1 million and Biden got 68.7 mullion so far.
Howard said this is like a replay of what happened in 2016. Jon said if it all works out it could be 271 to 269 in the end. He said that's how close it is. Howard said he's shocked by how close it is. Robin said she's shocked that people would want the country kept in turmoil. Jon said grey are going to count the votes and grey are going to count in this election.
Howard said that Jon should tell people that he voted for Mayor McCheese since he loves McDonald's so much. He said he knows about straws at fast food restaurants and about the election.
Howard asked if McDonald's is still his favorite. Jon said it's up there. Robin said he says they have the best fries. Howard asked who has the worst fries. Jon said Burger King's are really bad. He said Nathan's are good. He said Wendy's are good too. He said Shake Shack is good too.
Robin asked what it is about them that makes them so good. Jon said McDonald's has crispy ones that are best right out of the fryer. Howard asked who has the best burger. Jon said Five Guys are good. He said you have to have the whole menu. He said that McDonald's doesn't have the best shake. He said Shake Shack has the best.
Howard said it sounds like Jon would go to somewhere other than McDonald's. Jon said it depends on where you go. He said he'll go to get whatever from different places if he can.
Howard asked what he's having for lunch today. Jon said maybe Shake Shack. He said he might have a turkey sandwich. Howard said he'll b shocked if Jon outlives him. He said he'll probably have a hard boiled egg with avocado on protein bread. He said it's a pretty dull lunch. He said he knows Jon will outlive him somehow. He said it's ridiculous. Jon said he might not want to live that long if he had to eat that lunch. Howard thanked Jon for the update.
Howard said he had steamed brown rice, steamed vegetables and salmon last night. He said that he heard Jason is in perfect health and he's obese. He said he got the bill of health he was looking for from his doctor. Jason said to be fair even he doesn't truest his doctor. He said they just told him to watch his salt.
Howard said he gets a call from Dr. Agus about how his blood sugar is up and he's watching his food all the time. Jason said he feels like he'll be fine but then one day he'll just drop dead.
Howard said this is a guy who roasts a whole pig. Robin said he went to that Pig Island thing. Howard said there's a point in the tape of him going there where he has the meat sweats. Howard said he never played that before because he has an issue with people eating pig. He said Jason ate so much that he started sweating. He said Jason ate a pig's eyeball. Jason said that it was edible so he tried it. He said it wasn't that good. Howard said he has his own butcher and he called Jason to make sur he was okay during quarantine. Howard said just wait until you hear this pig island tape. He said he has way too much sensitivity to eat a pig.
Gary said that Jason talks about how he feels his body shutting down at one point in that clip. Jason said when this quarantine thing is over he's having a huge barbecue. He said he can't wait.
Howard played a clip of Jason on Pig Island talking about getting short of breath. Jason said he was having trouble breathing. He said he was sweating too. He said he feels his whole body slowing up. Robin said that's like drinking too much. Jason said that's right but the fun of drinking wasn't there.
Howard asked if Jason has gained weight during quarantine. Jason said he did put on a few pounds. He said he's over 300 pounds. He said he bought an elliptical to try to work it off.
Howard said Jason ate from 15 different food stands. Howard asked what he eats when he goes out with Blitt. Jason said that guy knows where to go. He went over a list of things that they can find when they would go out to eat.
Howard said these guys get together and eat this much and drink too. Jason said he and Blitt can drink a lot. Gary said at one of these dinners they had to take Jason to the hospital because he got so fucked up. Jason said he got food poisoning. He said that he can't eat shellfish. Howard said the shellfish just went ''Whew!''
Howard said this kind of consumption is grotesque. He said it's just too much. Robin said they were talking about going to get steak and then pasta and all of this stuff. Howard asked where Blitt gets the money for this. Jason said he must be independently wealthy. Howard said they're up to some weird shit.
Howard said Jason ate 4842 calories worth of food in 4 hours at this Pig Island thing. He said that's enough food for an average person to eat in 2 days. Jason talked about the different types of food there. Howard said he has to have a massive shutdown of his body when he dies. Jason said that's what he was saying earlier. He said he's sure he'll just drop dead.
Howard said his parents had a friend who loved food and he was really fat. He said he lived for a long time but he was sick at the end. He said he was really sick. He said he thinks he hung in there until his 70s. Jason said that's kind of a win. Howard said he had a lot of surgeries and things toward the end.
Howard had a montage of Jason eating at Pig Island. The guys put together clips of Jason munching on stuff and talking while he was eating.
Howard said he knows a lot of fatsos who love to do this grazing thing. He said Jason jerked off after going there and barbecue sauces came out.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if Jon can stay on and give updates because he's the only one who can do it right. Howard said he'll leave Jon on. Robin said the Wrap Up Show will be on later. He said that he was watching last night and this morning and he couldn't tell you what was going on. Robin said she had to read the bottom of the screen to figure it out. Howard said they have to keep you watching. He said he asked Jon to tell him what was going on and he explained it in 3 seconds. He said he was clear and concise about it. He said he knew after Jon told him. Robin said that's the news. She said on the news they give you a ton of opinion and color.
Howard played a clip of a doctor talking about Jason going to Pig Island and what he's at risk for if he keeps eating the way he eats. The doctor said he's getting older and if he doesn't do something about it he'll wish he was dead with the problems he'll have.
Howard said the latest doctor said he was fine. Robin said you would be amazed to see Jason's insides. Howard said they'll do that next week. He said Jason's dad was overweight and he died from Colon Cancer. Jason said that he didn't get his colon checked until there was a problem. He said that his dad didn't get it checked so he recommends getting it checked.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Jason if he's a type 1 diabetic. Jason said that's Jon Hein. The caller said that's just disgusting to eat at one sitting. Howard said wait until you hear the tape next week.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said god bless Jon Hein. She said Chris is still going to be unhappy even if Biden wins. She said he has to change the way he looks at life. She started screaming so Howard hung up on her.
Jason said he loaded up his freezer at the start of quarantine because the meat plants were going to shut down. Howard asked if he will try Gardein. Jason said he likes their stuff. He said his wife mixes it into their meals. He said that he's a big fan but he doesn't have to stop eating meat.
Howard got in a plug for SignalWire before he ended the show. They were done around 10:45am.