Howard started the show talking about how exhausted he is from the President having COVID. He said his emotions have been up and down. He said he's having a wave of emotions with this. He said he's been at a 100 on a scale of 100. Howard said he doesn't want to see anyone get sick like all the broadcasters say. He said the news broke last week and his initial reaction was about how it took him so long to get it. He said his behavior has been so outrageous. He said it didn't surprise him at all. He said he turns on the TV and sees the events they throw and they're not wearing masks. He said people are on top of each other and not wearing masks. He said he saw the whole family marching in and not wearing masks. He said that Herman Cain died from going to a Trump rally.
Howard said he's doing everything he can to avoid getting this thing. He said if he does get it he hopes to be in shape so he can live through it. He said he could die from it though. He said his confusion over the past couple of months is when he sees the president mocking Joe Biden for wearing a big mask. He said it's not a disinterest in the virus but the disdain for people who are trying to stay alive. He said that he was laughing at them. He wondered what bizzrro universe he lives in. He said this thing is real and it can kill you. He said Gary's wife Mary lost her father to it and other people have lost family to it.
Howard said the most important thing is to keep the President alive and he's going around holding rallies and shaking people's hands. He said he's not even being tested ahead of time. He said he went to the debate and wasn't tested.
Robin said what bothers her is that doctors are speaking like dopes. Howard said there was one this morning he read. He said that this doctor questioned if Trump had learned anything. He said that he was in the presidential drive by and everyone in that car has to be quarantined because of his political theater. Howard said he doesn't wish anyone dead. He said he doesn't want to see anyone die from COVID-19. He said a lot of people hate Trump and want to see him die. He said he was wincing when he heard that. He said that they're done with the hypocrisy of this whole thing. He said the President isn't encouraging people to wear masks. He said people were calling him hoping that he would die. He said then you turn on TV and people are concerned with what's happening. He said Stephen Colbert said all the right things. Howard said they're comparing Trump to Hitler but that's pretty ugly stuff. He said that's fucked up.
Howard said this was all very confusing. He said that he wasn't tested for COVID before the debate because he showed up late. Robin said they trusted him to be on the honor system. Robin asked why they would do that.
Howard said some people were celebrating the instant karma. Howard said now he has the virus and how could he not have gotten it. He said it was a great example for the rest of the country to see they have to wear a mask.
Howard said he was watching this and he heard that they gave him an antibody cocktail. He said they were taking patients who were on death's door and giving them this cocktail and it was working. He said they were pretty much fine after getting this. He said he saw this on 60 Minutes. He said they had 200 people get good after that. He said that then you find out that Trump got it right away at Walter Reed. He said that he told Beth that he knew Trump would be fine in a day. He said it makes no difference because he got it and no one else is going to get it. He said that's what upset him. He said that there was a show called The 100 on the CW where some privileged people got to live above earth and the rest had to live on earth. He said this is the guy who hates science and won't listen and they give him this cure. He said that the scientists saved him. He said Trump put out a statement saying it was a miracle from god. He said it was scientists, not god.
Robin said Trump said he has learned a lot about COVID in the past few days. Howard said he should have been learning about it for 7 months. Howard said if you get COVID you're not getting that shot that Trump got. He said it's not available. He said if the President gets it then everyone should be able to get it.
Howard said we do have a miracle. He said it's called a mask. Robin said he thought he was going to protect himself with tests. Howard said his head was spinning from all of this.
Howard said the irony is just too much in all of this. He said there was no instant karma. He said it's not happening here. He said the President would have been dead without this cocktail. Robin said she had a friend who had this and they had to suffer through the whole thing. Howard said everyone should be able to get what the President got. He said he doesn't care who you are or where you live.
Howard said Gary's father in law deserved to have that shot. He said you can't get it and he's not sure why. He said if he were president he'd have every company making it for people. He said there would be no rallies. He said he'd be pushing companies to make the drug that saved his life.
Howard said he is out of his mind with all of this. He said to go to the debates without being tested just blows his mind. Robins said Chris Christie got COVID because of that. Howard said there are people who are going to get the treatment that Trump got and you're not going to get it. He said this country is such a fucking mess right now. He said he's not sure where to begin. He said he has never seen anything like it.
Howard said when the debate was on he was watching and they were pointing out that there is racial unrest like never before. He said that people are unemployed like never before and things are all closing down. He said then Trump says before the ''kung flu'' virus they had the strongest economy. He said that's like saying that he had huge profits in the first month he opened his casino and then a few years later they're bankrupt. He said life doesn't work that way. He said there's no reason that the virus has to be the highest levels in the world. He said just wear a mask. He said don't have parties without masks. He said we can knock it down. He said instead we have assholes running around without masks.
Howard said that they're trying to do contact tracing and people are wondering why. Howard said you have to so you know who might get it from the president. He said he cares if this family gets it and if they die. He said he doesn't want anyone to die from this thing. He said the whole weekend was a mess. He said he still doesn't get why the tax returns haven't been released yet. He said we'll see what happens.
Howard said don't think you're going to get that treatment that Trump got. He said you're off your rocker if you do think you will.
Howard said he's going to take some calls and you can bash him for his views. He said that they have events all month long for Cocktober. He said he lives for Cocktober. Robin asked why that would be. Howard said he's glad that Trump gets to see Cocktober. He said he doesn't want anyone to die. He said he wants equal treatment for everyone. He said he wants transparency too. He said they won't answer questions about the president honestly. Howard said he was on a Zoom meeting and people were wondering if this was real or not. He said that's astonishing. He said they believe they can lie about getting COVID-19. He said that's crazy. Robin said that's where they are now.
Robin said he just went to see the crowd that had gathered for him. She said that everyone in that car should be quarantined for 10 days. Fred did his Bobo Puppet voice and talked about how he wants that cocktail for the boils on his head. Howard let Bobo and Bobo puppet go after a short time.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wants to cancel her subscription so bad. She said Howard is first in line to get that cocktail. Howard said he's staying home and not seeing his loved ones. He said he's watching everything he eats so if he does get it he can survive this stuff. He said he's not sure what planet she lives on that she thinks that he's going to get that cocktail. The caller said that they're saying that they were tested before the debate. Howard said they didn't say when it was. He said it could have been a week ago. The caller said that he's the President so of course he should get it. She said that even Obama would be getting it. Howard said the difference is that Obama wouldn't be telling people that this is going to go away and that you should drink Clorox.
Howard said he knew this virus was dangerous on March 12th. He said that's when he went into quarantine. He said it's the same as her. The caller asked how he can wish someone gets this illness. He said they can see his smile through the radio. Howard said he's not happy the President got it. He said he's not happy about this. The caller said that he sits around with his millionaire friends talking about this. Howard said he has a friend who is a car dealer and he has a nurse friend who he's friendly with. Howard said she's not a millionaire. He said you're a fucking cunt and you can go fuck yourself. He hung up on her. He said she's a fucking bitch.
Howard said this stuff is deadly serious. He said he's been sitting in his house for 7 months because of it. Robin said she thinks that everyone knows how other people are thinking.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he just has a lot of disagreements with him. He said he knows Dawn was off the chart but she's not that far off. He said that all of these people are outside with their masks off. He said there are a lot of states out there with racism. He asked why he doesn't talk about that. Howard said the country is a mess right now. The caller said that Howard didn't want to give out his taxes when he ran for governor. Howard said that's right and that's why he dropped out. He said that you have to use your brain. He said he just used that example about running for governor. He said he dropped out so he wouldn't have to show his taxes.
Howard said the alternative is to show your tax returns. He said Trump has been talking about doing it for 4 years. He said he's not trying to be a political show. He said he doesn't hate trump as a person and he doesn't disagree with all of his policies but he disagrees with the lies about COVID-19 and the mystery about what happens with him in the hospital. He said he doesn't like that he paid just $750 in taxes and he won't show his tax returns. The caller said that he pays millions in taxes. Howard said everyone has shown their taxes but why give this guy a pass? He asked why. The caller said that he's making it sound like Joe Biden is the greatest gift to the world. Howard said that's not what he's saying. He said he's talking about his taxes.
Howard hung up on the caller after letting him go on a rant about the debate. Howard said he knows the level of people who they will put in that cabinet and how they're going to trust scientists and how they'll let a doctor hold a daily press briefing. He said that the has been looking at how this has been an upside down world wince the inauguration. He said that he knew it was going to be a wild ride from that day on. He said he was trying to convince him that there were more people at his inauguration than were at Obama's. He said that he doesn't understand that. He said he doesn't understand if the President had oxygen in the hospital. He said this President was mocking Joe Biden for wearing a mask a week ago. He said that he doesn't give a fuck what you think. He said that this is what he knows. He said everything seems insane to him right now.
Howard said it seems insane to him to ride in the car and put the secret service guys in danger.
Howard said that he doesn't wish the President dead. He said he doesn't want him harmed. He said he wants the craziness stopped. He said that he's not sure why Biden didn't ask Trump to show his tax returns. He said he just doesn't get it. He said you can talk all of the other bullshit. He said that there are people wearing masks who are being mocked. He said he doesn't get it.
Howard said he's not sure why they're not making this drug that the president got. He said that he doesn't have a lot of friends at all and he's not sure why people think he has millionaire friends.
Howard said he has a friend named Pete who started a golf cart business. He said he rents them out. He said he's no millionaire. He said he spoke to a woman who's a nurse. He said she's no millionaire.
Howard said he is on Joe Biden's side because he wants to join the Paris climate accord. He said he thinks we should be part of that. He said that we have to reduce carbon emissions. He said he's all for that.
Howard said he doesn't get what's going on in the world. He said he likes hearing King of All Blacks and Bobo talking about stuff on the show. He said that he doesn't want to wake up thinking about who is president. He said he has never been on a roller coaster ride of emotions like this before.
Howard said he's for a lot of things that Biden wants to do. Howard said Trump said before COVID we were doing great. He said that doesn't matter. Robin said that people brag that the economy is great but have you see a raise in pay?
Howard said that the one thing he loves about Biden is that he eulogized John McCain. He said he had a brief meeting with John. He said that Joe and John were friends and he admires that shit. He said call him old fashioned. Robin said the only thing that came out of the debate for her was when Joe Biden asked who will be missing from your holiday celebrations this year. Robin said he was asking about who will be gone because there is no plan in place for COVID-19.
Howard said if we had taken it seriously early on this year we'd probably have the economy back open completely by now. He said that it takes a push from the government.
Howard said he knows some stuff about Joe Biden. He was talking about how his wife and baby died in a car crash. He said his sons were injured too. He said he's not sure how you lose a 13 month old. He said he thinks about what he would have done if he had lost his kids at that age. He said this guy went on and had an amazing career as a politician. He said he may not be the best but he cares. Howard said all of this stuff shows what kind of man he is. He said this roller coaster the country is on is crazy. He said he's never seen anything like it.
Howard said he isn't sure if Trump even has COVID or not. He said he had to do a double take and wonder what the fuck. He said this is all crazy for him.
Robin said they have lived through other Presidential medical emergencies. She said they never once questioned it.
Howard said he wasn't sure if he wants to talk about this stuff this morning. He said the audience does tune in to hear his thoughts. He said if you don't want to hear it then he's not sure what to say. He said we can be different. He said you don't have to call in and attack him.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that people are forgetting that Donald Trump knew about the virus since January. She said he's on audio being recorded. She said if he had taken action in January we'd be in a different place and none of this would have happened. Howard said this is his point. He said he learned in therapy that he thought to protect his kids that you keep things from them. He said he learned that you have to share things with them and it brings them closer to you. He said if the President had done that then we'd b closer with him. Howard said all he had to do was tell everyone what he knew. He said he would have to alert you an warn you about what this is and how we can keep it under lock and key.
Howard said when he saw the tape where he told Bob Woodward that he didn't want to make people panic he realized that you have to tell them to save their lives. He said he's not sure how you ignore it. The caller said that it blows her mind. She said that he could have saved our lives in that one month.
Howard said he used the casino analogy. He said they all went bankrupt. Howard said he's so happy that Donald is okay. He said he really is. He said that he has shared so many great moments with him. He said they have great moments together. He said this could have all been avoided.
Howard said if your house was on fire and burning down you might get out of the house and might warn your children. He said you can do that or you can tell them that the fire might put itself out. He said there are so many things that don't make sense right now.
The caller asked if Howard thinks that Trump protected the rest of his family and no one else. Howard said not at all. Robin said that Melania got it and so did Don Jr's girlfriend. Howard said he's sure that Trump would be dead if he didn't get the antibodies. Robin said if he got it in April he'd be in really bad shape. She said he would have wound up being compromised. Robin said they have to have him at a facility where they can do what they have to do. Howard said that's not going to happen for this caller if she gets it.
Howard let the caller go and took another call. The caller said that he has been a fan since 1986. Howard said he's sure he's in for a beating based on his accent. The caller said he's originally from New Jersey. He said he doesn't really have a Tennessee accent. Howard said he does have a little bit of one. The caller said that he's turning the show into a infomercial for Joe Biden. Howard said after what he's seen over the past few days he has to. He said he can cut it off at any time. He said that maybe he should do that now.
Howard said if he didn't talk about this it would have been weird. He said that in his mind he was wondering what was going on in this country. He said we don't know if the President really had COVID. He said he won't wear a mask and he won't do contact tracing and all of that shit. He said he can't lie and say it makes sense to him. He said you know he's going to share what he thinks. He said now it's done and he got it out. He said he doesn't know how to avoid the topic. The caller said that he just listened to them talking about how bad Trump is and how great Joe Biden is. He asked what that has to do with what happened over the weekend. Howard said he knows that Joe Biden is more like one of us. He said that he commuted by train from Delaware. He said he had to take care of his kids.
Howard said he doesn't know everything about Biden but he knows what he's seeing from the President. The caller asked about Biden losing his place in speeches. Howard said Trump has done that too. He said Trump can barely pronounce some of the words in his speeches. He said that Biden was in government and he knows how to do it. He said he has experience in it. He said Biden's son was in the military and he was Obama's Vice President for 8 years. He said he doesn't know anymore than he does. He said he just interprets it differently than he does.
Howard said he doesn't think that every bit of news is fake news. The caller said he doesn't either. Howard said he doesn't think that there were more people at Trump's inauguration than were at Obama's.
The caller said you ave to believe that there is fake news out there. Howard said he has to get out of this. He said he can't keep doing this.
Howard said it's enough of this conversation. He said he's not reacting well to this. He took a call from a woman who said that she is a travel nurse and she was listening to the guy slamming him earlier. She said she tried calling in and she was so upset about what he was saying. She said that our leader is so careless and that's not fake news. She said that when things first started out no one knew what to do. She said that he should have taken action then. Howard said that's what he thinks too. He said he agrees with her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this crayon munching mother fucker has to go back in his closet until November 4th. He said that he's one of the guys out there wearing masks and gloves out there every day. He said he's a truck driver and he's not bringing that back to his family. He said he drives from coast to coast and he's going to keep doing it. He said that he's been out there since March. Howard said this guy is important to him. He said thank you for that.
Howard said the truth be told there were tons of people celebrating when Trump got this. He said that he's not happy about that. He said not being able to breathe isn't fun. He said don't call him asking him to talk about Biden. He said he's not Biden expert.
Howard said 8 or 9 years ago he remembers Joe Biden endorsing same sex marriage. He said Obama didn't even agree with it at that time. He said 3 days later Obama agreed with it. He said that's a big deal. He said that was a huge deal to him and he remembers these things.
Howard said he hears people saying they're leaving the country if Trump wins again. He said he's not going anywhere either way. He said he wants what's best for this country because he loves this country. He said if we disagree what's best then fine.
Howard said that High Register Sean thinks that Trump is lying about COVID and never had it. Howard took Sean's call and Seany said that he appreciates him trying to keep people reasonable this morning but the fact is that he's in a no lose situation as far as COVID goes. He said he's going to get pity from the public for this. He said he's got an out to go away if you catch his drift. Howard said he gets it. He said he usually goofs on Sean but the biggest point is that people are wondering if he really has it. He said that he was Sean this weekend. He said he was wondering what was going on. He said he's just saying it's a bad sign when Sean is the most reasonable call of the morning.
Howard said he has to go pee. He said he wants to talk to Sean more but he has to go pee. Howard said Donald is apparently feeling fine because he's Tweeting a lot today.
Howard got in a plug for Boll and Branch sheets. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that's a catchy little tune. He said that he doesn't feel very cool liking that song. He said that he would rather sing Pearl Jam or something.
Howard said one of the other bad things about Trump getting COVID is that Bigfoot called the guys and said that he doesn't want to fuck Melania now. Howard played a voicemail that Bigfoot left for one of the guys about that.
Howard said last week they had Biden call Bigfoot last week to try to convince him to vote for him. He replayed the call where fake Biden asked Bigfoot if he would vote for him if he let him fuck all the postmen he wanted. Bigfoot said he would vote for him if he did that.
Howard said now they have Wendy the Slow Adult who is a big trump supporter on the line with fake Biden. He said that Biden was able to change Bigfoot's vote but can he do it with Wendy. Robin said she thinks he can.
Howard played the clip of fake Biden calling Wendy and trying to get her to vote for him. Wendy was all for Trump and told Biden to stop bad mouthing him that way. She kept telling him to shut the fuck up and hung up on him. Biden called back and told Wendy he wanted to help her get food on her plate. Wendy talked about digging for food in the dumpster. Biden said that he supports composing. Wendy told him that she used to put tomatoes up her ass and eat them. Biden asked who she's going to vote for. She said she's still going with Trump.
Howard said there you go. Robin said she thought he had her. Howard said he thought the dumpster thing was going well. He said she has changed her name to Wendy the Slow Conservative.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Biden had to dead with Ebola, SARS and the Swine Flu. He said that they had a response team that controlled all of that. He said that two people died from Ebola and the republicans said that Obama should resign. He said everyone is insane. He said everyone should wear a mask.
Howard said this stuff spins around in his head all day. He said we used to be able to nip this stuff in the bud but all of that team has been dismantled. He said he has to stop talking about politics on the show.
Howard said sometimes he thinks he's living on another universe. He thanked the guy for the call. He said he has to say one more thing before moving on to Cocktober. Howard said he saw this rose garden ceremony going on and he it hits him that it reminds him of Jonestown. He said Jim Jones was a cult leader. He said he got everyone to drink Kool-Aid what was poisoned. He said this rose garden ceremony reminded him of that. He said he's trying to eat right and stay healthy and he sees bright people who are there not wearing masks. He said that they were shaking hands and hanging all over each other. He said all of a sudden he says to himself that he's not sure who they think they're not going to get COVID. He said that they're hustling people into a room to drink the Kool-Aid.
Robin said she wanted to ask if Howard thinks Trump is a hypnotist. Howard said he was wondering why Chris Christie was there not wearing a mask. He said it's some crazy shit going on. Robin said that the doctors are all saying what Trump wants them to say. She said they say everyone is okay. Howard said he has to get off of this and get to Cocktober.
Howard said that they have so many exciting events for this Cocktober. He said he's not sure where to begin. Howard said they have 31 days of Cocktober. He said the last couple of years they have amped it up. He said last Wednesday he was in a meeting for this month's events. He said you talk about entertainment he's already in a better mood. He said cock is funny no matter if you're gay or straight.
Howard said Sal is going to shave his shaft today. He said he's in a Barber shop set on camera. Howard said Sal has a barber's pole and he has a big sign that says hot foam shave. Robin asked how he set all of this up. Howard said they sent him all of this shit.
Howard said Sal's tits have gotten bigger. Sal said they're quarantine tits. Howard said he has a full A-cup now. He said he could wear a bra. Sal said he knows.
Howard said it's sad that women have to get implants but Sal gains a few pounds and gets an A-cup. He said that he's thinking about if he could tittie fuck him. Sal tried pushing them together.
Howard asked if he feels like he's gaining a lot of weight. Sal said he has gained some. He said it's not good.
Howard said they have done many things with Sal's penis during Cocktober before. He said that they once had Natalie Maines on the show and she wanted to see Sal stretch his penis into his asshole. Howard said that led to her asking about his shaving habits. Howard played a clip of Sal talking about why he started shaving himself. He said he shaves every time he goes into the shower now.
Howard said he doesn't mean to bring up his marriage but why do all of this if you're not getting laid. Sal said he likes the look of a clean looking penis. Robin said he wants to look good for himself. Howard said Sal is shaving his taint and asshole too. He said it's all coming out. He said he's nicking his hemorrhoid too.
Howard said they see him now and Sal has not shaved for 2 months in preparation for this. He said he thinks Robin should be prepared for that. Howard asked if Sal is ready for this. Sal said absolutely. Howard said they have a First-Aid kit there for Sal if something goes wrong. Howard said Sal is using an electric shaver and a razor but no shaving cream. Howard said Sal can do his thing now.
Sal had Cocktober shaved into his belly. Howard said he is a very hairy man. He said he looks like a man with that hair down there. He said if he were him he'd keep it. Robin said she's shocked that his legs aren't shaved. Sal said he doesn't do that.
Howard said Sal is stretching his foreskin. He said they have a few camera angels on him. He said they have it on his junk and on his face too. Sal got his electric shaver and shaved down some of his hair with that. Robin said she's not sure why he's grabbing his foreskin like that. Sal said he's doing it for her.
Howard asked Robin which angle she's paying attention to. Robin said she's looking at the front. Howard asked what's wrong with those balls. Robin said it looks like a vagina. Howard said it looks like they shrunk in a bit. Sal said they haven't been used in years. Howard said some of the guys said they saw something drip out of his penis. Sal said there's nothing there but some hairs.
Howard asked how far he is into this so far. Sal said he's almost done. Robin said she likes it all covered. Howard asked about how long this takes. Sal said about 4 minutes. Sal squatted down and dug the shaver into his asshole. Then he used a hot towel on the area. Howard asked if Robin ever wants to be with a man again. Robin said never.
Howard said he reminds him of a gross baby. Sal said he used to use shaving cream but he took Howard's advice and stopped using it. He said that he used to use it but Howard said you don't need it. Sal said he's taking a disposable razor and using that to shave himself now. Howard said he's raking it over his junk now. He said he can't watch. Sal said as long as you pull it then it's beautiful. He said he has hair on his shaft like Howard does. He was shaving as he was talking about that.
Howard asked if he puts that shaver in his asshole. Sal said he sure does. Sal said Robin had better call Captain Dennis to get a mop because she's going to make a mess under her seat from this. Sal went into his asshole with the razor and shaved that down with the same razor. Howard asked if he does that by feel. Sal said he does.
Howard said he's going to throw up. Sal said you have to powder up too. He threw some talc in there. Howard said he thought that was bad for you. Sal said nothing is bad for that area. Howard and Robin were laughing as he was using the talc on his asshole.
Howard said he has to tell hi something man to man. He said to go through all of this isn't really worth it. He said it doesn't look any better or any bigger. Sal said it's a personal preference. Robin said she's at a loss for why he goes through this. She said she's never seen anyone go through so much for that. Sal said come on Robin, lets go. Robin told him to stop it. Howard said the thing is retracting and he's saying ''Lets go Robin.''
Howard said Sal's wife is on the line and she's turned on by this. Howard took the call from fake Mrs. Governale who said she shaved ''Divorce'' into her bush. She said if there's any cock cheese on her floor then he's sleeping in the car. She said she's moving to Alabama after this.
Sal said he just shoved the towel up his ass. Howard said he is able to hold on to it with just his butt cheeks. Howard thanked Sal for doing a great job today. Sal thanked him too. He said happy Cocktober to Robin. He said he knows she'll be thinking about this.
Howard said Sal has had that Cocktober tattoo on since Thursday and his wife still doesn't know. Sal said he once came home with a smiley face on his ass and his wife saw it and asked where it came from. Sal said he must have blacked out or something. He said you never know what she'll see.
Sal said he once sent his buddy 30 pics of his dick to his friend on a flip phone and it froze up so the guy brought it to the Verizon store and they had to fix it at the store.
Howard said he heard he puts after shave on his asshole after shaving. Sal said he does. Howard told him not to but Sal did it anyway. Howard said he's going to throw up. Sal put it on and then he put water on his asshole. Sal said he had never put that on his dick before. He said it's burning now. He said never do that.
Howard asked if he remembers when he was a stockbroker. Sal laughed and said he does. Howard said he told him not to put it on there. Sal said it's crazy. Robin said he had better go jump in the shower. Howard said he wants to see his cock. He said it's all red now. Sal said he has to go. He ran off to wash off the after shave.
Howard told Sal to go roll around in his yard. Sal was yelling as he was washing off the after shave. Howard said he can still hear it. He said he doesn't know the microphone is on. He told him to rub some dirt on it. He said the shower isn't going to help.
Howard asked Sal why he did that. Sal said he's okay. He said it's much better after running the cold shower on it. Howard said the after shave was all Sal's idea. He said Cocktober is going to be huge this year.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they're not going to have any listeners after today. Howard said Cocktober is here. He said they're looking for the world's prettiest penis. He said you can be part of the contest of you email them by this Friday.
The caller asked what Sal is going to do if Howard retires next year. Sal said he wants to work in radio with Richard. He said he'd love to be on a show with Richard. The caller said he can't wait to see what's going to happen. Sal said he'd love to do something that Howard oversees. Robin said Howard is going off into the sunset if he retires. Howard said he wants nothing to do with him after this.
Howard said Richard said he will probably go back to being an electrician. He said that he's kind of set already. He said he believes Sal will start a podcast and it'll last for about a month. He said then he'll give up when it doesn't make money. He said he's not sure what Sal is going to do.
Sal said he's not sure either. Howard asked if he's just going to keep showing up there. Sal said he has learned a lot from Howard so he has some experience. Sal said you have to work with a team and he knows that he needs someone to rein him in.
Howard played a song parody about what the guys are going to do after this show.
The caller said he has to put someone in his camp on blast. He said that guy Chris is fake gay and just pretending to be gay to get on the show. Howard said he has known Chris for a while now and he's the most authentic gay man. He said if he's faking it he's very deep under cover. He said he's really playing the part of a gay man.
Howard got Chris on and he said he can't believe someone finally caught him. He asked how great a lady vagina really is. Chris said that he loves when they squirt.
Howard asked Chris what he thought of Sal's cock. Chris said it was great. He said he's never seen anyone shave so fast. He said that his penis is disgusting though. He said it looks like a regular penis that got blown up or something. He said if that was his cock he'd probably kill himself. He said it's the way the foreskin hangs. He said it's like a busted lip or something. He said it looks like an injury.
Howard asked if Chris has hair down there. Chris said he has some since he can't get bald like Sal. Robin said he has a Don Johnson look down there. Chris said that's right.
Howard said that Chris once came to work with a neck brace on because he had blown a guy and pulled something in his neck. Chris said it wasn't a full neck brace but yes, he pulled something in his neck from that.
Howard asked Sal if he wants to say anything to Chris about what he just said about his cock. Sal wasn't there. Chris said he might be in real pain from that after shave. He said it might really be burning. He said he hopes his kids aren't doing school from home. Robin said they probably left.
Sal got on again and said he's doing okay now. He said it's just a light stinging now. Howard told him that Chris was saying his cock is the ugliest thing he's ever seen. Sal said that's too bad for him.
Howard thanked Chris and Sal for ushering in the Cocktober thing. He let them go after that.
Howard got Ronnie on and Ronnie said that they just talked about this the other day. He said everything has been put on hold for now. Mariann asked if it's postponed for good or does he want to be married. Ronnie said he wants to be married. Howard said Ronnie is laughing. Ronnie said he would do it. He said they had planned to do it out in Vegas at this Elvis Chapel. He said that it never happened.
Howard said how about a Zoom wedding. Ronnie said no to that. He said that wouldn't be fun. He said he's not sure Stephanie would be happy with that.
Howard said Ronnie is upset that JD fell off the face of the earth. He said that's Ronnie's quote. He said JD hasn't reached out to him since March. He said that no one was a better friend to JD than Ronnie. He said he took him out on the road and tried to get him laid. He said he took him out to dinner when no one took him to dinner. Mariann said he treated him like a son. Mariann said shame on JD. She said he has no manners.
JD told Mariann to be quiet. Ronnie said he was there way before Jon. Howard said Ronnie was friends with JD way before it was cool. Ronnie said he was trying to get him to be more out there with people. He said that he'd get him out there with people and he'd meet girls.
Ronnie said now he hears that Jon went by his house and they hung out. He said he never got a phone call or anything. He said he gets where he's coming from. He said he's kind of like the old guy like his father who he doesn't want to hang out with.
JD said it's not really true. JD said that he's ''a lot more funner'' to hang out with than Jon. Howard said he used to hang out with Ronnie and he got other friends and he dumped him quickly. He said that he gets it. He told JD to come clean there. JD said he never dumped Ronnie. He said he's one of his favorite people. He said that the only reason he and Jon hung out is because he was in the area.
Howard said Ronnie is wondering where his phone call is. JD said he didn't realize he felt this way. He said he knew he was dealing with a lot of things. Howard said Ronnie feels that his wife controls the social plans. JD said that's true. He said he's not a very social person.
Howard tried to get JD to pick Jon or Ronnie to live if he had to choose. JD didn't want to pick. Howard said he has to or both die. JD said he would kill himself. He said he can't do that. Howard said he has to. JD said he loves them both dearly but for different reasons. Howard said he has an easier one. Howard said both are in the hospital with COVID-19 and the only thing that can save them is the thing that Trump got. He said he can only give one of them the elixir. JD asked if one might survive if they don't get it. Howard said sure. JD said he would give it to Ronnie because he's an older age. He said he feels Jon might have a chance to live. Howard said he's overweight and has diabetes though. JD said he doesn't like this at all.
Howard said he'll make it easier for him. He said Jon and Ronnie are living during the Nazi holocaust in Germany and he has to make a choice. He said that one has to go in the gas chamber. He said he can let one live and one has to die. JD said he doesn't want to do this. He said he's not going to choose one.
Howard said he has to choose. JD said he can't do it. Howard said just give him a name. JD was struggling with it. He gave Howard Jon Hein as the one he would send to the gas chamber. Ronnie let out a laugh. Howard asked why Ronnie over Jon. JD said in this case he doesn't know. He said he's not killing anyone. Howard said he had to have some reason. JD said he doesn't like this. He said it has nothing to do with reality.
Howard said thanks to JD Jon will never get to meet his grandchildren. JD said Ronnie has grandchildren too. Ronnie said that JD knew he was going through shit a few months ago and never called him. JD said he did text him. He said if he knew how much a phone call meant he would have called. Ronnie said why call now. He said it's all over now.
Howard said that Jon will never get to write another fast food book or anything like that. JD said he and Jon never talk on the phone either. He said that they just text.
Howard asked Jon how he feels after this. Jon said he feels pretty horrible about it. He said that Ronnie has lived a long life and he's out of time now. He said he's surprised by this. He said that he tried to be friends to both of these guys. He said that now he knows where his friends are really at.
Ronnie and Jon went at each other a little bit. Ronnie said he has known JD a long time and longer than Jon did. He said that he used to give him advice outside his door at K-Rock.
Howard said that Ronnie used to say that JD was like a son to him. He said he wanted to take care of him. Ronnie said he did. Howard said the reason he's doing this is a good one. He said he's not doing this to torture him. He said he's asking if he ever imagined a life where two people would fight over his friendship. JD said not really. Ronnie said he's not fighting over him. Howard said the thing that struck him odd was that Ronnie was so good to him and when he was in need emotionally JD wasn't there for him. JD said he was in the Happy Hours. Howard said he was there for Ronnie. He said he called him. Ronnie said he called him numerous times.
Robin asked where JD was. JD said he never proclaimed to be a great friend or anything. He said he knows that everyone is better than him. He said he was in the Happy Hours and all of that. Ronnie said not anymore. JD said that's a whole other thing. He said he doesn't want to be recorded in those things or reported on.
Ronnie said the funny thing is that Jon checks in with him often. Howard said Ronnie lost his cat recently. He asked if JD called about that. JD said he texted him. Ronnie said he did text him about that. JD said he did text back ''thanks.'' Ronnie asked what else he wants. JD said he doesn't know.
Howard said JD did let Ronnie live. Ronnie said that's something. Jon said that's everything.
Howard asked Mike Fox what he thinks about all of this. He gave his thoughts on what's going on.
Howard said this was all very illuminating. Howard said he thinks that JD is afraid of Ronnie and that's why he kept him alive. Ronnie said he's never come down on him for anything .He said even when he killed his radio show. JD said he did throw a metal pole at him. Ronnie said he threw a metal pail at Jason once too but he didn't hit him.
Howard said Ralph Cirella is on the phone and he is going to be hosting the prettiest penis contest. Ralph said it's too bad he didn't see Sal's penis earlier. He said he needs the practice. Howard said you don't need to see that.
Howard asked Ralph what he has to say. Ralph said that it's bad that JD didn't call Ronnie because he did. He said he really should have called him. JD thanked him for the advice.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he wanted to ask Ronnie something. He asked if he was really getting married at an Elvis chapel. Ronnie said she's not his wife yet. King said that's not what he's talking about. He said it shows what type of person you are. He said that's the worst thing you can ever do getting married at an Elvis chapel. He asked if you're really that type of person. Ronnie asked what he's talking about. Ronnie said he knows what type of person King is and he won't get into that on the air. He said you don't want that.
Howard asked what getting married at the Elvis chapel shows. King said it's indicative of a Trump voter. Ronnie said he's got to be kidding. He said it was his wife's idea. He said she's a trump voter too then right? He said that was her idea. Howard said he doesn't want to get into this whole argument.
Howard said he has to sum up. He said JD did what he had to do and let one live and one die. He said that is not easy to make those decisions. Howard gave Robin those two choices and said she'd kill Jon Hein too. Howard said he thought she'd have a hard time with that. Robin said she loves Ronnie and she's known him longer. She said that's how she made that decision. She said she would miss Ronnie more than Jon.
Howard said that's a difficult thing to decide. Robin said she knew why she was doing it. JD said he didn't have a reason or rationale for it. He said it was just a name. JD said he thought Jon would beat COVID-19 easier than Ronnie but the other thing... Howard said he's not going to get an answer out of JD. He said that Jon has been killed by 2 people now and he's rather calm about it. Howard said on the phone is Angry Jon Hein. He took the call and had the guys playing clips of an angry Jon Hein who was yelling.
Jason said he took a staff poll and Jon lost the poll 0-8. He said that everyone voted to keep Ronnie around. Howard asked Jason why he chose Ronnie. Jason said he has personal reasons. He said that Ronnie has never stabbed him in the back so he picked him. He said that no one else is coming forward.
Shuli got on and said he voted for Ronnie. He said he has nothing against Jon though. Howard said even Mike Fox voted for Ronnie and they have fought on the air a bunch. Mike said he and Ronnie are a little tighter. He said that he thinks Ronnie will hold more of a grudge if you vote for him.
Howard asked JD if he feels better now. JD said no. He said he doesn't feel any better. Ronnie said all he had to do was pick up the phone and call. Howard said he was shocked to see he didn't call. JD said he's a texter. Ronnie said it's very impersonal. JD said he's done.
Howard said he's not done. He said they're only 10 minutes into this thing. JD said he'll text people and that's that. He said he's not apologizing.
Howard took a call from Paul Bobo who said that there's no way that JD feels he's superior to anyone. He said his theory is that he lives on the autism spectrum and he doesn't have a lot of empathy. JD said he might be right in a way but he does have a lot of empathy for people.
Jason said there's a show on Netflix called Love on the Spectrum and it opened his eyes to JD. He said it's very much like JD. He said that it changed his opinion about JD for the better. He said it made him realize that maybe he hasn't just been being a dick all this time.
Howard said maybe JD should go for some testing. JD said he doesn't know. He said he'd like to know if something is going on. He said that he'd like to know if he's normal. Howard said these days they can find something on you being an asshole.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he would go with Jon Hein. He said no offense to Ronnie but it's a no brainer for him. Ronnie said he has an issue with him so he's not shocked. He said that's just because he wouldn't say who he's voting for. He said that's fine. He said when he came on Happy Hour the other night he disappeared. He said you can say whatever the fuck you want. Ronnie went off on Ralph for a short time and Ralph told him that people like him who are undecided are dangerous. He said anyone who votes for Trump has something wrong with them.
Howard said this goes back to when Ralph was in the car with him and would tell Ronnie he didn't know where he was going. He said Ronnie would get upset about that. Ralph said he likes him. Ronnie told him not to like him. He doesn't care. He said that Trump is a monster and Ronnie doesn't seem to see that. Ronnie said he never said anything about ether one of them.
Howard said that Ralph thinking he has a better sense of direction is crazy. Ralph said that's because Howard has an awful sense of direction. He said he has tried not to say things in the car because he knows Ronnie will get upset. Howard said he would be lost if they drove him 10 blocks from his house. He said he'd have to call a friend to get him home. Howard said they have learned a lot. He said what they have learned that 99 percent of the staff would kill Jon.
Gary said it's worse than that. He said that they have one for Ronnie or Ralph. He said that Ralph got one vote. He said 16 people voted and 2 voted to save Ralph now. He said that they would have to come forward. Howard said one had to be Chris. Chris said he has to save his friend or he has no one to send dick pics to. Howard said this was very illuminating.
Howard asked if the other person wants to come forward. Chris said they're probably embarrassed.
Ralph was going off on the undecided voters again. He said he doesn't think that Ronnie could be that stupid to vote for Trump again. He asked if he decided anything after this weekend after what went on with Trump. Ronnie said no it didn't influence him at all. Jason said that he heard Ronnie was upset about how the media was calling Trump obese. Ronnie said you can see who is more for and against Trump based on the reports. Ronnie was arguing that he wasn't med-evac'd in a helicopter. Everyone was arguing that he was because he was taken in a helicopter.
Ralph said no one can trust what's coming out of the White House. Howard said they've had enough of politics for the morning. He asked Ralph what he wanted to ask Ronnie and they'll be done with this. Ralph said you can't trust what is coming out of the White House. Ronnie agreed with him on that.
Jason said they have one other staffer who is very pro-Jon Hein. He said it's Will Murray. Will said he never said he was anti-Ronnie. Will said he loves both of them and he would save Jon if he had to save one. He said he's shocked that JD would pick Ronnie over Jon.
JD said he can't win either way. He said he's sticking with his decision. He said don't text him or call him after this. Howard asked if Jon will accept his apology when he calls asking him to forgive him. Jon said no way. He said he knows where everyone stands now.
Howard asked JD how he could kill Jon Hein. JD said he and Jon have had issues. He said that they're fine now. He said he doesn't like this game. He said he feels bad either way.
Howard said he thought that Jon risking his life during COVID to visit him was something. JD said that Ronnie and Jon are better to him than he is to them as friends. He said he has to work on that. Robin asked if he will do something about it. JD said he would like to but he doesn't think that they want to hear from him now.
Howard asked Jon if he'll pick up the phone and call JD. Ronnie said he'll call Jon and talk to him about it. Howard said he's not sure how they got into this. JD said he has two names that will point to the people. He said one of them is in a Zoom box right now. He laughed like Jason.
Robin said that this doesn't mean that they don't love Jon. Chris said that Jon holds a grudge, he knows that.
Howard thanked everyone for their help with Cocktober. He said that he's always entertained by these conversations too. He thanked Boll and Branch for sponsoring the show today.
Howard said tomorrow they'll have a cleaning out the computer thing. He said he should have read some fan mail. He said a lot of people loved the Trump and Biden debate they had last week. He read a few of those emails. Howard said a lot of people loved Mark Harris too. He read some feedback he had about the discussion they had about Mark's passing last week.
Howard said that Ryan Phillippe wrote in about hearing his name mentioned on the show last week. He said Tan Mom wrote back to him. He read her rambling response to him. Howard said there you go. Howard said we're all glad to see that no one died from COVID-19 over the weekend. Robin said people did die, just not the President. Howard said he's sure people are still equally split on their vote.
Howard asked who JD will kill tomorrow. He asked if it'll be Robin, Gary, Richard or even him. Howard said a lot of people think it'll be Benjy. He wrapped up and ended the show around 10:10am.
Howard said hi to Robin and said he was having a hard day yesterday watching the news. He said he read that Trump had tweeted don't worry about COVID. He said he told people to go back to their lives the way they used to. He said he threw his hands in the air. He said they all know he got special treatment. He said he immediately called his mother and father. He said he told his mom that it was finally okay. He did an impression of his mother talking to him about the great news. His mother was complaining about the tough times they're living in. She was complaining about his father's commute to work and things like that. Howard said he was just calling to let her know the news. He kept going with her rambling on and on about how he did it for us. Robin asked what brought that on. Howard said you don't want to know.
Howard said he told his mom that they don't have to worry about COVID-19. He said Trump had it and it was no big deal so we don't have to worry about it. Forget about the 209,000 people who died from it. Howard had his mom asking if she can go to Walter Reed and get an experimental antibody treatment. He said apparently we all can.
Howard said he told his mother to go lick a subway pole. Howard had his mom telling his dad the good news. His father didn't understand the name she was saying. She had to repeat it a bunch of times. Ben kept saying ''Who!?'' Ray told Ben that they can go outside now. Ben said he wanted to go get some yogurt.
Howard had his mom talking to Ben about how they can't go out yet because it's before 8 in the morning. Ben wanted to go now. Ray talked about Ben having 4 cups of coffee for lunch. Ben said he goes to the yogurt shop and gets blueberries. He said he gets some toppings too. Ray said Ben brings his own blueberries. Ben said they're from Chili. Robin asked if they have them in the house right now. Ray said sure they do. Robin said they're ready to go then. Ben said they're going to go.
Ray was talking about how they can go back to living their lives now that President Trump said it's okay. Robin asked if they listen at home. Howard said don't ask. He said that his father isn't sure why he fought in World War II anymore.
Howard said he was getting steamed up about the tweet that Trump put out. He said he was going to try to calm down and walk on the treadmill. He said his phone rings and he gets a call from Robin. He said she's asking if he saw that tweet. Howard said he was trying to calm down and she got him going again. He said they talked about how upset they were about it. He said he told Robin he was going to walk on the treadmill because he's tired of talking about it. He said he didn't understand that statement. He said then he turns on MSNBC and Joy Reed is sitting there outraged. He said these poor people in the White House have to be there. Robin said they have had outbreaks with the general staff.
Howard said Trump walks in and rips off the mask. He said they all stand around acting like they don't have to do anything. He said Trump thinks you're against him if you wear a mask. He said that he'd badger people if they do. He said Joy Reed is wondering what's going on. He said he had to turn the TV off.
Howard said that these are the days we're living in. Robin said Trump got up and ripped off the mask. She said it was like a show. Howard said it was like the strip show they used to go to at Rick's. Robin said he looked around but there was no one there. Robin said it was like he was showing who the dictator was. Howard said it really was.
Howard said that if Biden becomes President they're going to feel weird not having all of this drama in the White House. He said that there's so much going on in there. He said the news media is going to be so boring without all of this. He said by the end of the day today he's sure there will be a major fucking crazy story. He said if not today it'll be by tomorrow.
Howard said he remembers that he'd hear about the president every so often. He said you hardly hear about him. He said he's never been involved in something like this. He said it's a roller coaster. Howard said it was like when the WWE wrestlers enter the ring.
Howard said he read that there's an 81 percent chance that Biden is going to win. He said Hillary had a 71 percent chance. Robin said she doesn't want to hear it.
Howard said he walked on the treadmill for 2 mils. He said babies probably crawl faster. He said Robin was making fun of him for walking so slow. He said he put two 10 pound weights on the bar to work out after that.
Howard asked Mitt about what he thinks about this Amy Coney Barrett. Mitt said he'd like to show her section 69 of his penal code. she asked if Robin gets that. Robin said she does.
Howard asked Mitt about the supreme court nominee and spent a few minutes going through jokes about that.
Howard said that he wanted to talk about the west coast and what's going on out there. He asked if he's worried about climate change. Mitt said he is for his kids and grand kids. He named all of them with their odd names. Howard said you don't have to name all of them.
Howard asked Mitt for a final message for the people of this country. Mitt said you can hear his wife dropping a brownie in the bathroom. He said it smells wonderful in there. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said this show is such a hodge podge. He said we have everything. He said they just won a new award saying they're ridiculously great. He said it's a national award put out by the industry. He said he was reading about I Heart Radio and they keep going on and he's not sure how. He said he's not sure how they have money. Robin said they might be part of a bigger conglomerate. Howard said he's not even sure. He said he's so out of it.
Howard said he wishes he had more friends in radio but he has no desire to talk about radio when he gets off the air. He said he doesn't know what to talk to friends about. He said he can do it if he's got a microphone in front of him. He said he's not sure what Chris Booker or Kidd Chris want to talk about. He said they talk about radio though. Robin said she used to think of Kidd Chris on a wagon train because he was always in a new place. Howard said he's just in one place now. He said he's not sure who else he should be talking to. He said maybe Bobby Bones.
Howard said he's not sure who else to talk to in radio. He said maybe Cousin Brucie. He did his impression of Brucie and had a conversation with him about working in radio.
Howard said Kidd Chris is on in Cincinnati. He said that's not St. Louis. Robin said they are not. Howard said he didn't know that.
Howard said he doesn't have a lot of radio friends. He said he could get in touch with Spyder Harrison. He did an impression of him and had a short talk with him.
Howard said they have to get to cleaning out the computer today. He said they have a lot to talk about today.
Howard said that he read that this person claims that Kimberly forced her to look at her body and rate it. Howard said give him that job. He said this was her assistant who was forced to do that. He wondered how that comes about. Howard said she also claims that she'd show her pictures of the dicks of people she was dating. Howard said that's pretty wild too.
Howard said that this stuff is inappropriate but it's kind of hot. He said that Kimberly got on the air once and said she wanted to fuck him basically. He said that shit could go down if he was single. Robin said she'd be showing people his dick pics.
Howard said the former assistant's complaint was 42 pages long. He said he has to get a hold of that. He read more details from the complaint where the assistant complained about Guilfoyle making her do things. Howard said he's going to make Baba Booey sleep over at his house. He said he could make him do stuff like this.
Howard asked Robin what she would do if she was going to expose herself to him. Robin said walk out in her panties. Howard said he imagines her walking out and showing side lippage. Robin said maybe just let the towel drop. Howard said it sounds like this woman was not interested at all.
Howard said the people at FOX news Human Resources must have been freaking out about all of these complaints.
Howard said he thinks that Ronnie and Sal should get jobs over there when he retires. Robin said they could cause some real havoc over there. Howard asked if that empowers Robin or disappoints her when she hears those stories. Robin said not everything men do is good. She said that's not a good thing. She said be yourself and try to treat people well.
Howard said he remembers Kimberly being on the air and saying that she'd like to go out with him. He said that would have been some date. Fred played Mitt Romney saying ''Boi-oi-oi-oing'' from the call earlier.
Howard made up a call from FOX News where he was talking about the things going on over there. He had the person talking about how Kimberly was flashing people now. He was talking about the things the guys were doing and now the women are doing wild stuff too. He was making up crazy stuff about Bill O'Reilly and Kimberly Guilfoyle.
Howard said this Dr. Finger is a chiropractor. He said they have to stop calling them doctors. He said he'd put and end to that immediately if he were president.
Howard said this guy gets to keep practicing even though he's been accused of this. He said that he'd like to know what you have to do to get your license taken away. He said Louis C.K. is wondering what the hell is happening.
Howard said if Robin hired Dr. Finger she'd think that there was no way he would finger her. Robin said she wouldn't even think of that. She said she'd just think he'd be a doctor. Robin said the idea that he thinks he'd get away with it is crazy. She said he wasn't even disguising it.
Howard said women don't even like being fingered. He said that they just let guys do it because they like sticking their fingers in things. Howard asked if this is a real story. Jason said it was from the Miami Herald. Howard said that sounds like a legit paper. Jason said the guy has a history they can research too. He said that he's no longer allowed to have female patients anymore. Howard said that seems wrong.
Howard said the guy was walking around on the west side of Manhattan. He said they have a ton of homeless people around and Rick was walking down the street and some dude just cold cocked him in the face. He said it came out of nowhere. He said there's video of it online. He said that Rick is such a good guy. He said the reason you don't see him in movies is because his wife died and he had young kids. He said he walked away from Hollywood and raised his kids. He said he wanted to be there for his kids. He said he completely left show business to take care of his kids. He said that he doesn't know any guy who can last more than an hour with their kids. He said that guy is a fucking saint.
Howard said you figure if someone is looking out for someone on this planet then Rick would never get punched. He said that if you're religious you have to think about that. He said this guy went for a walk at 7:30 in the morning and gets punched.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel is a friend of his and he said he took the summer off to take care of his kids. He said 3 weeks later he was hosting the Emmys. He said he's no Rick Moranis.
King said you'd think that Trump would have said he learned his lesson from this whole thing. Howard said you'd think so. He said that he got the antibodies and was saved from it. He said that he got medication that you are not able to get. He said that he'd be talking about how great it is that they had this and he'd devote his time to making sure that everyone can get it. He said that's what he would have said. King asked why he wouldn't do that. Howard said at the same time that Donald tweeted that you can go back to your life and it was no big deal, he was reading about a woman who was an elementary school teacher. He said she died yesterday of COVID-19. He said she was a lovely woman. He said teachers are so important and we talk about that all the time. Howard tried to find the article. He eventually found it and read about this woman who died from COVID-19. He said that she was a third grade teacher. He said that her students had to be quarantined after being exposed to her. Howard said this woman was a lovely woman. He read that she was 46 years old. Howard said that this story came out at the same time that Trump was tweeting about not worrying about it. King said that's mind boggling.
Howard said if he were president he'd be thanking scientists for saving him and urging people to wear masks. He said that he'd work to get experimental drugs into the hands of everyone out there so everyone can have the same health care.
Robin said that in Trump's mind he thinks he beat it by himself. Howard said if the teacher had lived she would have learned that you can't let it dominate your life and she would have been just fine. Howard said he's sick of the drama. He said he this is why he can't talk about politics every day. He said what he wants to do is take a break and do the packages he has to do. He said they're going to clean out the computer and entertain you.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he likes the fact that Howard is trying to keep a balance on the show. He said that it's the right way to go. He said stop being manipulated by asswipes like King of All Blacks. He said King just wants to hear himself on the air. Howard said he thinks King does give a shit. He said he knows a lot of people are going crazy with what's going on in this country. He said he wants it to end and get back to normal.
Howard said he has to thank Gardein for sponsoring the show today. He did a commercial for them. He said they have to get an update on Mark the Bagger. He said he can do that now. Robin said they should take a break. Howard said he has to talk about this Magic the Gathering thing too. He said this will make Robin feel better about her life. Howard said it's going to be a very full show today.
Robin said that Dolly Parton is going to pose in Playboy. Howard said she looks pretty good but it's a good time because no one reads it anymore. He said they're so desperate that he would imagine they'll find some weird woman to put in there. He said they're going to look for 90 year old women in there. He said Dolly says it's going to be ''tasteful'' so it means you won't see shit.
Howard said you can't bullshit the public these days. He said you have to get the gauze off the lens.
Mariann said that Chris Booker is also on Pandora on the weekend. She said Jerry Seinfeld wrote a book and she wondered if he's contacted him. Mariann said that Howard only has 29 more shows left. Howard said he hasn't spoken to Jerry about his contract. He said that they did have a conversation last year before COVID. He said they sat down and talked about that. He said that Jerry invited him over and he was talking to him about what he's going to do. He said he's not sure and Jerry took him out to talk about that. He said he wanted to help him figure it out. He said he thought that was incredible. He said he's so uncomfortable with that kind of attention that he didn't want to talk about it but Jerry stayed on topic. He said it was a very helpful conversation.
Mariann was asking about the contract talks and Jim Meyer and all of that. Howard hung up on her because she was talking so much. Howard said that it was great to go to dinner with Jerry Seinfeld. He said that he did zoom with Jerry and his wife once. He said they don't really call each other that much. He said he feels like he's annoying people when he does that.
Howard said the conversation was a very loving and sweet thing. Robin said he cares about you as a person and he should return the favor and thank him for that. Robin said he should say he wants to get together and do it again. Howard laughed and said she's hysterical. He asked if she knows him at all. Robin said she's trying to get to a new you.
Howard said the centerfold in Playboy this month is Dr. Ruth. He said it's hard being in Playboy. He said there's so much internet porn now and you don't know what to do. He said getting old people to get naked is the next thing. He said he'd pay money to see Dr. Ruth naked. Robin said Dolly is 74. Howard said if they can get her naked he'd look at that. He said this is what Playboy has to do to get people to read it now.
Howard asked if he ever told the story about how he almost took over Playboy. Robin said no. Howard said he's not sure if he could. He said that he has to think it through. He said he has a mind blowing story. He said he's not sure if he can tell the story. He said he's not sure if there are ramifications. He said he thinks he told Ralph the story but he's the only one. Robin asked what the ramifications would be. Howard said he's not sure. He said maybe tomorrow he'll tell that story. He said it's a good one. He said he has a lot of stories he can't tell but he might be able to tell that one now. He said it's so good. He said he wants to tell it now. Howard said tomorrow on the show beans will be spilled. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he was watching some clips of various bands online. He said you can see so many different things. He said that he likes that about social media. He said then there are videos of people who are famous playing guitar and they're really good. He said he has so much regret for not learning guitar as a kid. He said he wishes he had the drive to learn it. He said it would have been so great. Robin said he can do it with painting so why not guitar? Howard said he's running out of time. He said he has so little time for painting. He said he was working on a painting yesterday and thought he wasn't that good. He said he figured he'd find out the same thing with guitar.
Howard said the other thing he didn't realize is that professional musicians have to practice a song over and over again. He thought they could just pick up a guitar and play it. He said they have to work at it. He said everything is just hard work. He said you can master it if you work hard enough.
Howard said he's going to stick to the painting. He said he finished one painting that he put online. He said it's a big landscape that he did. He said you have to photograph it. He said he doesn't get it right when he photographs it. He said he doesn't want to get out his big Nikon to photograph it. He said even his hobbies annoy him.
Howard said he is so tired after the show that he puts on Instagram. He said he looks at bands performing on there. He said he was watching one video where Yoko was wearing a blind fold while John Lennon was performing Instant Karma. He said she was really out there. He said what a fucking artist John was. He said that sitting right next to him was Yoko. He said he thinks he needed her there as a mother figure. Robin said you got that vibe from that whole thing. Howard said he was wondering what the fuck was going on. He said she was knitting perfectly and it turns out that's her skill. He said he's not sure what was going on there. Robin said she's sure that he was glad to have her there.
Howard said they have a real tweet from Yoko explaining it. He read that tweet about why she had the blindfold on. It turns out it was a sanitary pad. Howard said he didn't know that.
Howard said he knows a lot of guitar players and almost all of them say they didn't take lessons. He said they all say they taught themselves. He said this is the same bullshit he gets from artists. He said they all went to college and graduate school but they say grey were self taught. He said they were taught a lot in school. Robin said that Adam Levine talked about a guitar teacher. Howard said that's why he loves Adam.
Howard said he saw Adam the other day. He said he was taking a walk and he saw him with his wife. He said he heard someone calling him. He said Adam was out there and wanted to come over to him. He told him to stay away. He said they drew a line on the ground and Adam stayed 22 feet away from him. He said they were 22 feet away outdoors. Howard said you would have loved this conversation. He reenacted it by yelling back and forth. Robin said you can't have a great conversation like that.
Robin said here was a great thing she watched with two British actors trying to work during COVID and it was worth a watch. She said Howard would love it. Howard said he doesn't like British actors.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he just re-discovered him on Sirius. He said he's glad they're getting off this political stuff. He said he heard him talking about drummers and how the guy from Jethro Tull isn't in the hall of fame. He told Howard about a clip he should check out. Howard said he understands what he's talking about. He said the idea of the hall of fame is to honor musicians but it's meaningless. He said Jethro Tull still isn't in the hall of fame. He said they had some great albums. That led to Fred playing the guitar riff from Aqualung and Howard was doing his thing with that.
Howard said that the flute wasn't that cool but it worked for those guys. He said he could probably recite every song from Aqualung. He said he's not sure how they're not in the hall of fame.
Howard said guys like Gary Dell'Abate and Jon Hein vote. He said it's a joke. He said it's critics who vote. Robin said now you understand what's going on.
Howard was goofing on Jon Hein and his books and talking about why he shouldn't be allowed to vote. Howard said Eddie Vedder should be allowed to vote. Howard said Billy Corgan should be voting. Howard said Gary is voting. He said Gary thought the iPad was a bad move for Apple. He said that he'd be more particular about who votes if he were the hall of fame.
Howard said the whole fucking world is nuts. He sang some Jethro Tull stuff and asked Fred what one of the songs is on Aqualung. Fred played ''Thick as a Brick'' and Howard said just listen to this.
Howard said it's crazy that they don't have that band or Smashing Pumpkins in there. He said Jon Hein is a fan of a soulless band like Rush and he's voting.
The caller talked about how he has a British version of one of their albums. Howard said Gary would probably buy it from him. Fred played ''Cross Eyed Mary'' from Jethro Tull.
Howard said Jon's favorite song is ''Corporate Rock'' by Rush. Robin had no idea what that was. Howard said this is beautiful.
Howard said he'll take a couple more calls. He took a call from a guy who said he has been listening since he came on up there in Canada on Q107. Howard said he was on for like a day up there. Howard said they had some tremendous censorship up there. Gary said they were on Q107 for a while. He said it was CHOM that they got kicked off of. He said that he did a press conference wrapped in a Canadian flag and that set people off. Gary said they were on in Toronto for a while though. He said they were asked not to do anything weird with the flag and that's what Howard did with it.
Robin told Howard that the drummer in Jethro Tull left the band to be with a woman. Howard did an impression of the guy quitting the band to be with her. Howard said he can't imagine doing that for any woman. Robin said he got back into drumming but never with Jethro Tull again. Fred played the Aqualung guitar riff and Howard was making up stuff that the drummer might say after quitting the band. Robin said if the band ever gets in he should not be part of it. Howard had the guy working in a fast food restaurant taking orders after quitting the band.
Howard said Gary thinks he's perfectly qualified to vote in the hall of fame. He took a call from Audio book Gary clips. The guys had Gary talking about his favorite songs from his audio book.
Howard said he grew tits and then got his dick cut off. He said then no one wanted to have sex with him. He said they tried to get guys to fuck him. Howard asked if he's a ''they'' now. Siobhan didn't know what he was asking. He said he's an It. Siobhan said she's a critter so that's it. Howard said this was the original Caitlyn Jenner. Robin said she could have been on RuPaul's drag race and all of that.
Howard asked how Siobhan is doing. Siobhan said she's doing fine. She said she has some old age stuff going on. Howard asked how her pussy is. She said it's fine. She said she isn't really using it but she has erotic dreams about it.
Howard said Siobhan was the first one to show her vagina to him. He said that it was something to see. Howard said that he has heard so many stories about transgender vaginas. He asked if she can have an orgasm. Siobhan said she can have a double orgasm. She said that she gets one from her honey hole. Howard said that's what happens when you become an It. He said no one knows what you're talking about.
Howard asked what Siobhan is doing for work. Siobhan said she can barely afford to buy socks anymore.
Shuli said he's been keeping tabs on Siobhan and it's pretty sure it's immune to the virus because it thinks it got it from the cats it has. Robin asked how many it has. Siobhan said it has 14. Siobhan said that this virus is similar to the animal version and it's immune to it now. Howard asked how Siobhan can afford to take care of 14 cats. Siobhan said it spends about $100 a week to feed them. Howard said that's something.
Howard asked Shuli about what he was saying about Siobhan not wearing a mask. Siobhan said that it's not clear why they have to wear N95 masks in the hospital but the other masks are fine for the rest of the people.
Howard said he has another it on the phone. He took the call from someone doing a bad impression of a transgender.
Shuli said they did a stunt at Siobhan's place many years ago. He said they had a guy who had to bang Siobhan to get tickets to an event they were holding. Siobhan said it got the tip of that guy's nob in there before he pulled out.
Howard asked if Siobhan still has to put a stick in the vagina to keep it open. Siobhan said it stopped doing that a long time ago. Siobhan said it's happy being asexual now.
Howard asked Shuli what happened when he went to Siobhan's place. Shuli said there were like 35 cats there. Howard said it sounds like his house. Shuli said he had to go to the bathroom and he went and he lifted the seat to go pee and there was no water in there, just a cat. He said the cat jumped out of the toilet.
Howard said Richard went to Siobhan's and vomited from the smell. He said Siobhan wasn't into hygiene so much. Siobhan said he had a biohazard suit on when he came in. Howard said Siobhan tried to grab Gary and kiss him once. He said that Siobhan wandered in and tried to make out with him in bed. Gary said they were staying at Jackie's house one night and Siobhan was Jackie's personal assistant or something. He said he woke up in the middle of the night and there was a huge figure standing over him. He said he asked what the fuck he was doing there. He said Siobhan thought it was the bathroom.
Gary said another time he was over at Jackie's house and Siobhan came over and told him something and it grabbed him by the back of his head. He said that it is not a small person so it tried to kiss him. He said his adrenaline kicked in and his tongue was close to his mouth. Howard said Siobhan went in for the kill.
Shuli said that he made a joke about something and Siobhan told him that you don't want Bill to come out so he had better not joke about that. He said that Siobhan paints with cat shit as well. Howard said he remembers that. He said he's glad to hear Siobhan is doing okay. He let it go a short time later. Howard said they used to have Siobhan on the show all the time. He said it showed up at his house one time and that was a problem.
Gary said that Siobhan was a big fan of Howard's because he saved her on the beach one day when the guys were throwing rocks at it. Howard said he was just being a nice guy. He said he saved her from the villagers like Frankenstein.
Howard said the next thing he knew he had someone trying to move into his house trying to have sex with him. He said he was married though. He asked if they remember her picking him up and carrying him up the side of the Empire State Building. Fred played some planes flying by and shooting.
Howard said he had a tremendous amount of love from Siobhan. He said that it opened up his eyes and may have led to his divorce. He said he had never been loved like that.
Howard said he got a lot of feedback about Sal's stunt for Cocktober yesterday. Howard read some of the feedback they got about that. The caller said he thinks Sal would do gay porn if he goes off and retires. Howard said he might. He asked if it's really gay if you're doing it for your family.
Howard said he loves when Sal gets complimented by the audience. He read a comment about how he's an idiot but he delivers the best radio. Howard said someone asked if he's doing better today. Sal said he's good.
Howard said there's already a song about Sal's farm animal tits. Robin said she's ready to pass the torch on that. Howard played the song parody about Sal's tits.
Howard read more feedback about the Cocktober thing that Sal did yesterday. Robin said she was thinking that Richard was very upset that he was left out of that whole thing. Howard said he's sure he was.
Howard said there was a lot of mail about JD too. He said they asked JD who he would save in a life and death situation. He said that JD said he would save Ronnie over Jon Hein. Howard read some feedback about that. Robin asked JD if he's okay with Jon and Ronnie today. JD said he is. He said he had a nice conversation with Jon about all of that. He said that Jon didn't take his call at first but they talked and worked things out.
Howard asked Ronnie was okay with him not calling. JD said they cleared the air and they're fine. He said he's going to try to be a better friend to Ronnie. JD said when he called Jon he was joking about how he's not taking calls right now. He said both of them are very good friends.
Howard asked if his decision still stands that he would save Ronnie over Jon. JD said he's not going to go over that again. He said he said what he said and he's moving on.
Howard read more feedback about JD, Jon and Ronnie. Howard asked JD if he agrees that they are spending too much time complaining about him not calling. JD was having trouble getting his words out. JD said he can't tell someone how to feel and act. He said that's for them to figure out. Fred did his JD Puppet voice for a short time.
Howard said he should take a quick break and get to some Mark the Bagger and Magic the Gathering stuff. Howard did his JD impression and played a song parody about him before going to break.
Howard came back and said he used to go see Bonnie in concert when he was a student. He said that they had some good concerts up there in Boston. He said he saw the J. Geils Band too. He said Bonnie was great. He said she's older now but she looks really good. He said he likes when Robin duets with Bonnie.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Siobhan was on today and they went down memory lane so why not play her greatest moment from the show when it rode the Sybian. Howard said he doesn't think Siobhan felt anything on that thing. He said he'll try to find it though.
Howard asked if they should hear from Bobo or get to Mark the Bagger. Robin said Mark the Bagger. Howard took a call from a woman who asked if he has Dr. Finger's phone number. Howard laughed. The caller said that she loves them and thanked them for the entertainment. Howard asked if she's trans. The caller, Janet, said she's not, she's a Dyke and she smokes. Janet said if Howard wants to retire then go for it. She said she loves the laughs and fun over the years.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if he thinks that Eric Clapton or Joe Bonamassa is better. Howard said no one cares. Bobo said he has a bunch of them. Howard said thanks. Howard said he did this thing on the air where he talked about the best drummers of all time or the best bands or whatever. He said then Bobo has to figure out how to get on the air so he comes up with this. He said that's not the direction they want to go in. Howard said it was funny the one time. He said it's not funny or fun now. Bobo said alright. He asked if he talked about David Blaine flying with balloons. Howard ignored him.
Fred did his Bobo Puppet voice and had him asking dumb questions. Howard spent a few minutes talking to him. Howard asked Bobo if he sees what he's saying now. Bobo said yes. He said he just thought it was amazing when David Blaine flew with balloons. He said he didn't put his parachute on until he was like 7,000 feet in the air. Howard said he was trying to make this a teachable moment but it's not working.
Howard said he'd like to know what color marker Bobo is going to mark that one with. Fred kept going with the Bobo impression.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked him to please get this idiot Bobo off the air. Howard said he hung up on him. The caller said he just kills the stream of the show. Howard said he hopes Bobo puppet is done asking questions too. Bobo puppet was still asking dopey comparisons like Bobo did.
Howard said Mark the Bagger is living on his own and he is retired and never wants to work again as a Bagger. Howard said he has some interesting information about Mark. He said Mark is on SSI and he gets $1000 a month from that. He said he gets food stamps for like $600 too. Wolfie said he's basically triple dipping. He said it's a nice situation.
Howard said Mark has that voice and it's just fun. Howard said this is Mark talking about his health. Howard played the clip and Mark talked about how he has to get surgery on his sinus bone. He said he tripped on black ice years ago. He said it hurts a lot but he wasn't able to get surgery until now. He said it just got worse over time.
Howard said he has a broken sinus or something. He said years ago Shuli interviewed Mark and he had to rest because of that pain in his sinus. He played a clip from back then. He said his cheek hurts so he has to rest.
Howard said that's Mark the Bagger with some issues. Robin asked if he's getting it fixed. Wolfie said he is. He said he got it fixed last week. Howard said his injury keeps him from doing what he loves most. Howard played a clip of Mark talking about how he jerks off once a day. He said right now it hurts to do it with his cheek. Mark explained that the pain huts in his cheek because of the nerve damage there.
Howard played some audio of Mark talking about the kind of porn he likes to watch. He likes pregnant porn for some reason. Wolfie asked if he'd rather date a black chick or a pregnant chick. Mark piked a pregnant chick. Mark said how about a black pregnant chick.
Howard said Mark is such a freak. He said that's why he's so great. Howard asked who jerks off to pregnant women. He said no one does.
Howard said that a mother and sister is more normal than pregnancy porn. He said Sal calls that freaky and he's into piss porn.
Howard played a clip of Mark talking to Wolfie about how he hasn't gotten laid in 5 years. He talked about how he'd like to date a chick who has kids because he can't have kids. Howard said maybe that's why he's into pregnancy porn.
Howard said he never saw pregnant porn. He said that he never knew they had such a thing.
Howard played a clip of Mark describing the ideal smell of a dirty pussy. Mark said he likes it to smell like tuna fish. He said that turns him on. He said even if it smells like doody he's into it.
Howard said he's a freak. He wondered who they can set him up with. Robin said she thinks about him coming on to Nikki Glaser during Hollyweird Squares. Howard said Benjy jerks off to pregnancy porn. He said he's not sure they want to go down that road.
Howard said they asked Mark about current events. He said this is his take on COVID. Mark was telling Wolfie that they have to find a cure and he thinks they have one. He said he won't get a vaccine if they have one because he doesn't have COVID. Howard said perfect, welcome to my administration.
Howard said Wolfie noticed that Mark wasn't very engaged in the conversation and he just kind of ended the call. Howard played the clip and Mark was whispering to himself. He was watching Deal or No Deal on TV. He was talking to the TV. Wolfie said he thought he was distracted a bit. Mark said he's fine.
Howard said that Mark is a guy he wants to stay in touch with. Robin said he always surprises them with something.
Howard thanked Wolfie for the update. He said that they always learn something about him.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he thinks Sal would rather bang Siobhan or pour more after shave on his junk. Howard asked Sal which it is. Sal said he would pour the after shave on his cock and balls. The caller said if he keeps doing that he might end up like Siobhan. Sal said she's just not his type. Robin said she thinks that he's just saying this because they're there. Sal said Siobhan just isn't his type. He said that he wouldn't bang Caitlyn Jenner either. He said she's just too big. Robin said every woman is Sal's type.
Howard asked if he would bang Tan Mom. Sal said yeah. Howard said Robin's point is well taken. Howard asked if he would bang Dr. Ruth. Sal said no to her too. Howard said he would let her jerk him off. Sal said sure, why not. Howard asked if he'd bang Sarah Sanders. Sal said ''the works'' with her. Howard asked if he would bang Nancy Pelosi. Sal said he would like to observe her with someone else. He said he'd want to see her bang another guy and see her enjoying it.
Howard asked JD to go through some of this. JD said the first one is Madonna and she hasn't released new music but she has quarantine diary videos that she's putting out. He said in one of them she said she had the Coronavirus antibodies. He said she may have had Coronavirus. Howard played a clip of Madonna talking about how she found out she has the antibodies and she's going to go out for a drive and breathe in the COVID-19 air.
Hard said she's a party huh? He said she's something. He said she's really out there. He said he might have to get on Instagram and do stuff like that. He made up some wacky thoughts he could share. He was telling people to stop mowing your lawn in October because bird feeders attract bears. He said then he could fart into his ranch dressing bath tub.
Howard asked JD what else he has. JD said he has a rapper named Boosie Badazz who they've spoken about before. He had Howard play a clip of the guy talking about how he'd slap his kid around if he came to him and said he was gay. Howard asked what he's doing now during quarantine. JD said he's basically having a party. He said he'd have women take their clothes off for him on Instagram. Howard played a clip where he was freaking out when he saw some kids up on the screen. JD said he kicked her right out of there. He said sometimes he'll send the women money through CashApp.
JD said one time a guy interrupted him and he kicked him off because he was interrupting him seeing titties. Howard played another clip where Boosie was telling his people to ''double block'' that guy. He said he's trying to see titties and not guys like that.
Howard said this guy sounds like a lot of fun. JD said that he got upset when they told him not to have so much fun on there. Howard played a clip of the guy freaking out about that.
Howard asked where that guy grew up. JD said he thinks it's Atlanta or Alabama. He said that it's somewhere down south. Robin said he sounds like Howard doing a black accent. She said she's not sure that's a real thing.
JD had Howard play another clip of Boosie talking to someone and he was getting upset with whatever it was she was doing and kept asking her to stop. He said he's got love at home.
Howard said that's what Ronnie should be doing online. He said he should get nudie shows online. JD said he's not sure if his Blackberry phone can get that kind of stuff. Howard said he loves that Ronnie still has a Blackberry. Robin said she thought he was upgrading. JD said it must not have happened yet.
Howard said that was just a little preview. He said they have Ronnie, Richard, Gary, Sal and others presenting stuff to clear the computer. He said Mike, Jon and Shuli have their stuff lined up. He said he doesn't want to give away too much.
Howard asked Gary and JD about baseball and what's going on with the Mets and Yankees lately. Gary was ready to talk about all of that so Howard let him go at it with Jon Hein. They were talking about the Mets being sold and things like that.
Howard was talking about how great the Yankees are and JD was shaking his head. Howard said JD is a douche. JD said he's a Reds fan. Howard said wherever he lived he was a fan. He said that's what JD should be doing. Howard asked how long he's lived there. Gary said he thinks Howard is 100 percent wrong on this. He said you have to show loyalty. Howard said of course. He said it's the same rules he has in his book.
Gary asked if Howard thinks you should pick a new team every year if you move every year. Howard said yes. He said if you get a new job then you root for that place you work. He said that when you're at WNBC you root for them. He said you root for K-Rock and wherever else you work.
Howard said he lived in Detroit and he's never met a group of more welcoming people. He said that he was a Detroit Lions fan when he lived there. He said this JD is a Reds fan even though he lives in New York. He said that they took him in there in New York. JD said they're talking about teams. Howard said he doesn't want to see someone in a Reds jersey. JD said neither does Will Murray.
Howard said when JD lived in Cincinnati he didn't get laid or have a girlfriend. He said he came here to New York and the girls opened their legs for him. He said it's the same thing with Jon Hein. He said it's just to be a contrarian. Jon said it's really not. He said he's loyal to his team. He goofed on JD about how bad his Reds are. Howard said grow up. He said he's a fan of where he lives.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he doesn't get Howard's rap. He said it has to be something his dad said to him that he's holding on to. He said he can't be a fan of the Mets. He said they're horrible. Howard said he's a fan of the Knicks. He said they're not so great but he supports them. Ralph said that he's not a fan of the football teams there. He said that he needed a good laugh today so he has to thank JD for that Boosie stuff. He asked Howard to replay some of that.
Howard asked JD if it's always that good. JD said he's not sure. He said he only gets clips that are sent to him. Howard said he'll replay some of that for people who want to hear it. He played a clip he played earlier.
Howard said someone sent him a note saying that Boosie claims he bought his son a hooker for his 14th birthday. JD said that wouldn't surprise him. He said that he wants his son to be a man.
Howard said that was a good segment. He said that was a big rebound from yesterday. He spent a little more time talking about the Mets and how his dad dragged him to a game when he was a kid. He said that's when he became a Mets fan.
Gary said his first game with his dad was magical. He said it was one of the best days ever. Howard said that sounds like bullshit to him. Gary said it really was. Howard said he doesn't get that concept at all. He said his theory about his own dad is that he had 20 jobs by the time he was 9 and he was just angry about things. He said by the time he got a hold of him he was like ''fuck you!'' He said he doesn't think there was any aspect of him that he liked. He said his dad wanted him to be born 35 years old so he'd never have to deal with him.
Howard did his impression of his dad going off on him for saying that he wanted to make a million dollars. He said his dad would go off on him for saying that he didn't even have a mortgage yet and he was talking about making a million dollars.
Howard played some clips of his dad yelling at him in old family audio where he wasn't making any sense. Robin said she can tell Howard is shitting his pants in that.
Howard said the united nations one drives him nuts. He did an impression of his dad asking him impossible questions. Robin said she's sure that he didn't have an adult spending time with him. Howard said he's sure he didn't.
Jon said he feels bad because they all bonded with their fathers over sports but Howard didn't have that. Howard said he never watched a game with his father or anything. He said he had one game of catch. He said it would go one toss and that was it. He said he hit his father in the balls and he freaked out. He said he didn't teach him how to throw but he got upset when he didn't know how to do it. He said everything was a disaster.
Howard said he used to mess with his father when he'd come home from work. He said he knew he could set him off by asking about Ping Pong Productions. He said his dad had 4 partners and some of them were up to nonsense. He said one of the guys started Ping Pong Productions and his dad wasn't happy about that. He said his father was livid about that. He said he'd come home and he'd bring up Ping Pong just to set him off. He did his impression of his mom and dad talking and then he'd throw in the Ping Pong thing and his father would freak out. He said he'd really bother him when he'd throw in the Ping Pong thing on a birthday card. He said he'd make a great card and then put a square box on the back that said Ping Pong. He said his father would see that and turn red from anger.
Howard said he never had a heart to heart with his dad. He said there was no joy in his house. He had his father talking to him about how he knew he was pulling his leg with this stuff. He said it was kind of funny to see him erupt.
Howard said the Met game was really bad. He said his dad was so annoyed by him. He said he started to pay attention to him when he finally started getting paid well in Detroit.
Gary asked if this is a shrink session or a story. Howard said this stuff is way too personal to talk to the shrink about. Robin said his shrink has to know things aren't fine. Howard said he knows.
Howard let out a belch. Robin said that's how they started so it might be time to leave now. Howard said this is the way things are. He said you have to accept it. He said he likes JD. JD said he likes him too. Howard said there you go. He said he won't be taking him to any baseball games. Robin asked if Howard could enjoy a game today. Howard said no.
Gary said he used to bring banners with him to the games. Howard said his dad would made fun of people who did that. Gary said he made one and the paint went through the floor and he still wasn't mad at him. Howard said that's why Gary is such a good dad. Gary said he had a mother to deal with. Howard said he tried to talk to his mom about his dad not liking him so much. He said she was good for a minute and then she said she had a feeling something was up with them. He did an impression of her talking to him about that.
Howard said all the love he needs he gets from Robin. He said he gets it all from her. Robin said that's a good thing to find what you want and give it to yourself. Howard said Robin's dad liked her too much. Robin said that was not like.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he had forgiven his father for the way he treated him. Howard said of course. He said he loves his dad. He said he was very supportive of things too. Gary asked if it was similar to what he had with his sister. Howard said no, he loved his sister. He said there must have been something wrong with him. Robin said that he must have had his own issues to deal with. That led to Howard going back into his mother's voice and doing that impression for a short time.
Howard said they're going to get together tomorrow. He said they have a bunch of packages to get to tomorrow. He said hopefully nothing weird happens politically. He said that way they can get right into it tomorrow.
Howard said they have Cocktober going on and if you have what you think is a pretty penis and want to enter to win the prettiest penis contest then email them at Cocktober@HowardStern.com by this Friday the 9th. Howard got in a plug for Gardein and wrapped up the show around 10:55am.
Howard said there's not a night that goes by that he doesn't watch a music video. He said most of them are Van Halen, the Beatles or Zeppelin. He said he got the news that Eddie had died yesterday afternoon. He said he was reading about himself and how his new contract is a done deal for hundreds of millions of dollars. He said it's very strange. He said he called his accountant and asked where his dough is. He said that it is fake news even though the doesn't usually believe that. He said he has seen no contract and he has heard nothing about this money. He said he has no idea where that story came from.
Howard said there was Bloomberg News that had the story and another place that had it. He said people were congratulating him. Robin said she got a text from a friend who said she already knew this but she'd send it to her anyway. She said she had no idea what he was talking about. Howard said he's ready to take that deal if he can get it. He said it sounded awesome.
Howard said he called their agent Don and he said there's no truth to the story. He said they were both kind of baffled by it. He said the article said he was close to signing a 5 year deal and it's just not true. He said he read it all over the place. He said he got an email and woke up to this. He said that it was Adam Levine writing to him about this. He said Adam said he hates him if this story is true. He said he got an email from his buddy Howie from 5th grade. He said he's a financial guy. He said he invests in stocks and bonds. He said they were talking about him and it drove the Sirius stock up. He said he didn't write him back because he didn't want to get in trouble with the SEC or anything. He said he got personal email from friends who were congratulating him.
Howard said his fans will be the first ones to know if he has a deal but this is not a true story. He said he doesn't have anywhere near a deal. He said he's not sure where this came from. He said it's just so far off. He said he's not sure the company would put that out. He said it's very complimentary though.
Howard said he's saying that if that's the deal he'll take it right now. He said that's a great deal. He said to anyone who was excited by that it's just not true. He said he knows they'll call in here. He said he had better break it to Mariann.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who was all happy about the news but he told her it's not true.
Howard said that Mariann heard the news and ran through a wall in her apartment. Robin said she thinks she lives in a house.
Howard said Eddie died from throat cancer at the age of 65. He said he's one of the best guitar players that ever lived. He said that musicians can show him why guitar players are great. He said that Eddie and Jimi Hendrix were obvious great guitar players.
Howard said everything about Eddie was amazing. Robin said every time they put out music you wanted to hear the guitar. She said you wanted to listen for that. Howard played a medley of Eddie's guitar riffs.
Howard said he remembers going to see Van Halen with Sammy. He said it was when he first joined up. He said he just wanted to be Eddie. He said he was a good looking dude. He said that was one thing. He said that women wanted to sleep with him and guys wanted to be him. He said that he had great hair and the way he dressed was something that he could never do. He said they were wearing blousy kind of pants with cut off shirts and bandannas around their necks. He said it wasn't like they were trying too hard. He said they looked like they dressed that part and they pulled it off. He said that's what he wanted to be doing. He said he wasn't able to take his eyes off the guy. He said the guy would fly through the air when he played. He said he had to have hip replacements because of that.
Howard said they would do a choreographed dance and Eddie would be playing these riffs and it was like it was part of his body. He said he was thinking this was it. He said the disturbing thing was that he always had a cigarette lit on stage. He said he'd have it in the neck of his guitar. He said even when he was playing something complicated he'd smoke and blow smoke rings.
Howard said that Eddie was on the show once and he said that he got laid for the first time when he was 13. He said he was getting older chicks. Howard played a clip from that interview where Eddie told him about that.
Howard said he had heard Eddie was sick many years ago. He said he famously had a drinking problem. He said he would get jealous of him being able to play guitar so well. Howard said he wondered how you have so much talent and think about drinking. He said everyone has their demons. He said Eddie talked about how the family came to America with nothing. He said they had no money or anything. Howard played a clip from that phone interview where Eddie talked about coming over here with nothing. He said he's just Ed.
Howard said he really is just Ed. Howard said many years ago Eddie was reaching out to talk to him off the air. He said he doesn't remember the just of any of the conversations but there was a lot of talking. He said he wasn't really interested in anyone else at the time. He said that he didn't think he could sit and listen to him. He said he wasn't a good friend and that's a regret of his. He said he did ask Eddie about his cancer. He said he had a nutty theory about how it wasn't the smoking that caused his cancer. He said he thought it was the metal pick he kept in his mouth. He said he thought it was the electromagnetism conducting into the metal pick. Howard said he didn't have time for that kind of shit so he didn't argue with it.
Howard played a clip of Eddie talking about how smoking didn't cause the cancer. That was a clip from a phone interview. Eddie said it was the metal pick hanging out of his mouth and it was like playing golf in a lightning storm.
Howard said Eddie would call and he thinks it was the time when he was drinking. He said he loved Eddie but he didn't develop a friendship. He said Eddie started out on the drums and gave up on that and took up guitar. He said Alex took up the drums instead. Howard said Eddie had all of that talent and it's gone now. He said it drives him crazy. He asked where it goes. He wondered if we'd ever see another guy like that. He doesn't think so. He said he was just amazing.
Howard said he knows that Eddie started to play guitar and he had a teacher he just watched and he'd learn from watching instead of reading music. He said that he asked Steve Nowicki about it. He said that Steve plays so he wanted to hear a little bit of background on his guitars and techniques. Steve said that Eddie changed the way people play guitar. He demonstrated some of the things that he pioneered. He said that there are certain sounds that Eddie came up with.
Howard said Steve has a bunch of guitars on his walls. He said some of them are Eddie Van Halen guitars. He said Eddie wanted to develop guitars that sounded like Fender and Gibson. Steve explained how that worked.
Howard said Eddie was so poor that he had to rely on his fingers and playing to get the sounds he was getting. Steve said that he got the cheapest guitar he could find and he found cheap parts to put it all together. Howard said the guitar he played was called Frankenstein because of all of the different parts he used. Steve said if you look at it the thing does look like Frankenstein. He said on Van Halen 1 they have the red guitar and he got bored with it so he ripped all the shit off of it and he painted it with spray paint. He said it's the same black and white paint pattern under the red.
Howard asked Steve about where he got his stuff. Steve said he built his own. He said he would buy the stuff that Eddie used to create a replica. Howard asked Steve to tell them why Eddie is so above other guitar players. Steve said he can make his guitar sound like a violin. He demonstrated how that works.
Howard said that sound drives him crazy. He said it's an amazing sound. Steve said there's also this thing he would do called pinch harmonics and tap harmonics. He demonstrated those for Howard too.
Howard said his observation on that is that when Van Halen got big and set the world on fire everyone started imitating Eddie. He said it goes back to Eddie. He said that he didn't invent tapping but he did bring it out. Steve told Howard some history about David Gilmore and a guitar he had that was similar to Eddie's.
Howard asked if Steve ever got to see them in concert. Steve said he did see them once in 2007.
Howard said that he's so sorry to see Eddie is gone. He said that they were around L.A. for a really long time and weren't able to get signed. He said they had Gene Simmons on the show and he saw Van Halen in some shitty club and he recognized how great they were. He played a clip of Gene talking about signing them and then tearing up the contract because no one believed in them. He said weeks later they were with Warner Brothers and off they went.
Howard said he thinks Gene was trying to do right by them but it didn't work out. He said it's hard to believe that no one wanted them. He asked how no one recognized how great Eddie was.
Robin said what was so upsetting was that the news reports were just playing ''Jump'' last night. Howard said that was their first number 1 hit with David Lee Roth. Howard played some of that but said he has to go back to their first album.
Howard said they came out with their first album and had a ton of hits on it. He said Eddie was 22 years old and they took 3 weeks to record it. He said they had a cover of ''You Really Got Me.'' Howard said that album was a killer. He said they played the shit out of that. He said they had ''Runnin with the Devil'' on there too. He played a little bit of that. Howard said they had ''Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love'' was on there too. He said Jamie's Crying was forgotten about too. He said that they had a ton of hits on that album.
Howard said he had never heard anything like Eruption. He played some of that. He said that the two hand tapping had been around but no one did it like Eddie. Robin said no one incorporated it into a piece like he did.
Steve got on and said that Eddie used Eruption as a warm up. Howard said he saw him do it in concert. Steve said that was in 1986. Howard said that's the clip where he's smoking and lounging while playing this. He said he was working for the crowd though. Steve said his guitar neck was burned from the cigarettes. Howard said he heard that he did his replica an he tried to replicate those burns. Steve said he did and he had a friend who smoked do the burns for him.
Howard said that eruption inspired a great Gary phlegm parody. He played that too. He said Gary went nuts on that.
Howard said he should mention the second album Beautiful Girls. He said that they had more great riffs. He said it was one after the other. He played short clips of a bunch of their great songs. Howard said heir videos were great too.
Howard said that Deep Tracks is doing a tribute to Eddie. He said it's amazing that he did the Beat It riff too. He said Michael Jackson was number 1 with that song and Van Halen was number 2. He said Eddie was in both.
Howard said then Sammy Hagar came into the band and he had hits. He said he thought the band was over after David left. He said it was mind blowing that it worked out. He said Ozzy met Randy Rhodes and had a bunch of hits. He said it's not often that you can replace a lead singer like that. Howard said that Sammy talked about the instant chemistry they had. He played a clip of Sammy talking about that. Howard played some of the hit songs that they had with Sammy as the lead singer. Howard said he felt so bad for Sammy when he went to see them. He said that the fans were so upset that he was replacing David. He said then they came out with this album and that shut them all up.
Howard said how about Poundcake. He played some of that. Howard played ''Right Now'' and others. He said that people remember that from the Pepsi commercial.
Steve got on and said that in the intro to Poundcake that's a power drill going through his pickup. Howard said he's like Hendrix. He said that he would do stuff like that.
Howard said that was a musical family for sure. He said that he would play weddings with his dad and brother. He said that his son joined the band to play bass. Howard said he tried to get in touch with Sammy yesterday but he wasn't sure if it was appropriate. He said that he didn't know what to do. He said Sammy didn't want to come on the air. He said he did share a note with him. He said that Sammy did say that he and Eddie had been texting and they had a love fest this year. He said they agreed not to tell anyone because they knew they would make people think that they were going to tour again. He said Eddie stopped responding to him about a month ago and he had a feeling it was a bad sign.
Howard said it was shocking that they were texting each other. Howard said when Sammy was on last time he wasn't bad mouthing Eddie. He said they were just doing their own thing. He said he's sure that this is an emotional day for all of those guys. Robin said you feel really bad for Alex because they were together from childhood.
Howard said he was thinking about Craig because he lived in Eddie's pool house or something. Craig said it was his recording studio. He said people asked how he ended up there. He said that's what he said the whole time he was there. He said it was just crazy.
Howard said Craig would come on the show and do two o the best impressions he ever heard. He said one was Sam Kinison. He asked if he can still do it. Craig did the Kinison impression. He said he did Al Pacino's baby too. Craig said that he'd have to explain that it was a character that he did for the show. He did some of the impression for Howard and had Howard and Robin laughing.
Howard said he didn't believe that Craig was living at Eddie's house. He said that he thought it was like some weird story like Kato Kaelin. He asked why he was living there. Craig said he was in a horrible relationship and he was friends with Eddie's assistant. He said that he went bowling with him and he showed up with Eddie. He said that he showed up with Eddie and Eddie knew his whole life story through the Howard Stern Show. He said that he called Matty once and Eddie picked up the phone and talked to him. He said that he told him that if he had no place to live then he could stay at his recording studio. He said that it was going to be noisy because the band was getting back together.
Craig said that all he had to worry about was that Van Halen would be making noise in the next room. He said he moved in and lived there in the recording studio.
Howard asked how that works. He asked if it had a kitchen. Robin asked if it had a bed. Craig said that he was left alone there. He said there were two entrances to his property. He said he would come in by the recoding studio. He said he was working on a TV show at the time. He said he'd come home and Eddie Van Halen was there. He said that Eddie would invite him in and it was odd because he was such a hermit. He said he was kind of like Howard where he doesn't like being around people.
Howard said he was telling Robin about a period of time when Eddie would call him all the time. He said he would talk to him for hours and he doesn't remember anything he said. He wishes he was a better friend to him. Craig said that he was very caring and kind. He said he met a girl and she asked if she could come over. He said he asked Ed if she could come over and Ed was fine with it. He said he told him to get some pussy.
Craig said he brought the girl back and she was wondering why he needed permission to come over. He said he didn't tell her that it was Eddie's recording studio. She said that his friend must be the biggest Van Halen fan ever. He said he told her that the noise coming from the other room was Eddie Van Halen. He said he told her that he was staying there to get on his feet. He said 2 or 3 minutes later things happened.
Howard asked why he left. He asked how long he stayed there. Craig said that he stayed there 4 or 5 months. He said the assistant was hooking up with his ex the whole time and they were together for like 5 years. He said he tried to call Ed a few years ago and he told him who he was. He said Ed asked how he was doing and Ed told him he was sitting on the toilet taking a shit. He said he would call him back but Ed said he wanted to talk. He said he never called him back and then he found out that just recently he wasn't communicating with anyone.
Howard asked Craig to tell the story about how Wolfie wanted to learn guitar and how Ed handled that. Craig said that he had just gotten out of a relationship himself. He said they shared stories about love lost and healing a broken heart. He said he told him a story about how his son was 12 or 13 at the time and he wanted to learn to play guitar so Ed said he'd try to find someone to give him lessons. He said his son wanted to learn from his dad. Craig said that he was trying to figure out someone more professional to teach his son.
Craig said Ed had heard stories about his life that he told on Howard's show. He said that all he ever wanted to own was an illegal cable box that unscrambles the channels. He said they were in a bowling alley and Ed was smoking. He said that he told him that he has one of those boxes and he didn't want to pay for cable even though he was rich.
Howard asked if Ed ever quit smoking cigarettes. He said that he talked to him off the air and he thinks he was still smoking then. Craig said when he lived there it was early 2004. He said he was still smoking. He said he had gotten into a lot of alternative medicines and he was bankrolling a center in Long Island. He said he was still smoking when he was there. He said that was 16 years ago though.
Howard said he can't find a clip of Ed not smoking. He said in every clip he's smoking. He said it's the worst addiction ever. Craig said it really is. He said it's heart breaking that he's gone. He said he was such a talent.
Craig told Howard how humble Eddie was. He said that it was almost off putting. Howard asked whose house Craig is living in now. Craig said he lived with Mitch Hedberg. He said he has had a lot of weird moments in his life. He said he is able to afford his own place and he lives in Los Angels now. Howard said he was the first person he thought of. He said that he wrote him this morning and saw his email. He said he wanted to make sure he got to tell these stories. Craig said he had so many moments with him. He said that he had a song called 0316 on the OU812 album and he would play this piece on Valerie's belly. He said Eddie filmed this thing that his son did in school and it was the song that he wrote. He said the song is called 316 because that was Wolfie's birthday. Howard played the song.
Howard said that he just got a note from Meat Loaf asking him not to give Craig his address. Howard said what a time of his life to live there in that studio. Howard said he'll end this tribute with 0316. Howard let Craig go and said it was good talking to him. Craig said Robin is still hot. Robin thanked him for that.
Howard took a call from Bong Hit Chris who said he wanted to do a bong hit for Eddie. He said he was a hero of his. Howard asked Chris when he takes a bong hit like that does he question where his life is going or does he just go with the flow. Chris said he just goes with the flow.
Howard said Chris doesn't do bong hits for just anyone. He asked when he last did one. Chris said he did one 6-8 months ago but he can't remember who it was for. He said it's been a while. Howard asked him to take one last hit for Eddie.
Howard said he hopes that was a fitting tribute to Eddie. Robin said that she got to see him 3 times. She said that they got to see them on Long Island and once they were out with David she saw them. Howard said that's when she threw her bra on stage. Robin said it tied up the whole band.
Howard said the only other thought he had was that Eddied said he got really motivated to be in the band when he saw the Dave Clark 5. He said that's just crazy. Robin said they were just alright. Howard said they weren't that bad.
Howard said Clarence Clemons will be one of the guests. He played a preview of that. He said Sam Kinison is another one who will be part of the Gone but Not Forgotten special. He played a Kinison clip too.
Howard said Chris Cornell will be featured in the special. He said that's another good looking guy how was field with talent. He said he never got to see them in concert but he loved when he came in and performed. He played a short clip.
Howard said Tiny Tim is another one who is part of the special. He said that he was a fascinating guest. He said that he'd come on and talk about different products that he was into. He said it was fascinating. He played a clip of Tim talking about some of his favorite things.
Howard said that guy was not tiny. He said he was a fucking mess. He said he was very big. Gary said what he loved about Tiny was that he said he got nothing from these people when he'd plug something. He said it was as if they wanted to be affiliated with him.
Howard said that next week the special is on Howard 101. He said he will be hosting it. He said it's about people who died who were on the show.
Howard went through the list of guests that will be featured. There were a bunch of Wack Packers and other guests who were on the show over the years.
Howard said he can't forget to mention Joan Rivers. He said they have her final appearance on the show. He played a clip from that interview where she talked about how dry her vagina was.
Howard said Joan is calling from heaven real quick. He took a call from fake Joan Rivers who was on to plug the special. Howard asked how she's doing. She said she's been dead six years and she has that really not fresh feeling. Howard asked if she's happy. Joan asked why she would be happy. She said she's so horny and the only thing eating her out are worms.
Howard asked Joan to tell him more about her dry vagina. Joan told some jokes about just how dry it is.
Joan suggested they change the name of the special to ''Decomposing with the Stars.'' Howard told her about some of the other guests who are part of the special. Howard said Joey Ramone will be in it. Joan had some thoughts on the people he was bringing up. Howard said that Mark Harris will be part of the special. He said James Brown will be part of the special. He mentioned Clarence Clemons again too.
Howard said that Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf will be in the special. He said Joe Frazier, Charlie Murphy and Sam Kinison will be part of it. Joan had things to say about all of them. Howard said Wilt Chamberlain will be in the special. He said Robin didn't even remember he was on the show. Howard said they will have Tiny Tim in there too. Joan said she fucked him last night and they should call him really Tiny Tim. Howard said Ted The Janitor will be part of it. He said Valerie Harper too. He said Henry Hill will be in it too. Joan had jokes about all of these people. Howard said David Brenner, Stan Lee and Eric the Actor will also be remembered.
Howard said that they all love Joan. He told her to tune in next week to hear that. He let Joan go after that. He said the connection to heaven must have gotten cut off.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Jimi Hendrix was one of the first pioneer guitarists. He asked who today is left. He said Tom Morello is great. Howard said there's a lot of great guitar players. He said Tom for sure. He said Clapton too. He said Slash is a great guitar player too. He said Eddie was a real original. He said he doesn't even know. He said they'd have to ask Lars. The caller said that's what he was going to say.
Howard asked if Robin remembers the name Tim Curtain. Robin said yes. Howard said Tim was the band leader in the live shows they used to do years ago. Howard took a call from Tim who he hadn't spoken to in a long time. He said that he played for him in 1992 or 93. He said he was a musician until March of this year and now he has no gigs. He said he still plays weddings. Howard said he's a great guitar player. He said his brother was too. Tim said that's his brother John. He said he's doing fantastic too.
Howard asked Tim what his Eddie story is. Tim said back in 1986 they were doing a recording with some guys. He said that Howard was performing a song with Leslie West and others. He said Leslie gave him his guitar at that recording session. He said he had been opening for Van Halen at the time. He said that he told him to not let anyone else play it because the whammy bar was very fragile. He said he let someone else play it like a week later and the guy messed up the whammy bar. He said he called Leslie to let him know. He said his wife gave him a number to call Eddie Van Halen. He said he called and got a call back from Eddie and Eddie made a call to a guitar tech and told him he needed it fixed. He said Eddie called him back to see if it worked out once he did get it fixed.
Tim said that Leslie wanted him to play this particular guitar. He said that he had to get that one fixed. He said that Eddie had set up the whammy bars on the guitars for Leslie so that's why he wanted to use it that night. Howard asked if he still has that guitar. Tim said he does. He said Leslie autographed it for him.
Howard said Eddie was a big fan of Leslie's. He said that he is a guitar virtuoso himself. Howard said how about this Eddie Van Halen calling back this nobody who he doesn't even know to help him out.
Howard thanked Tim for calling in and going over some of that history. Tim said he's so happy for how Howard is doing and that Robin is well. Howard said Robin didn't remember Tim. Robin said she did remember the name.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wanted to hear what Fred has to say. She said she knows Fred is amazing on guitar. Howard said that's a dangerous road to go down. He said he could say 3 words or maybe never shut up. Robin said she's sure that he doesn't have any stories like Tim did. Howard asked Fred what he has to say. Fred said he was part Mozart, part Hendrix and part Les Paul. He said Ted Nugent asked where his little black box was when he saw them. He said that Ted thought that Eddie had a special box that he used to sound the way he does. He said it was all about Eddie and he was just great. Howard said he is pleased with that story. Robin said she's wondering how that happened. She said he told a good story. Fred said go listen to acoustic Spanish Fly and it'll prove it. Howard said play it.
Howard said Eddie wrote great songs too. He said he was a great player and he wrote great stuff. Robin said he created that sound too.
Fred played the song he mentioned. He said he's doing two handed tapping with that on an acoustic. Howard said he wants to know where all of that talent goes. He said it's all in the ether. He said listen to this guy.
Robin asked why he asks where he goes. Howard said he hates that it's gone. Robin said it's not gone. Howard asked to see Nowicki play that. Steve said he can play one section of it. He demonstrated what he was doing. Howard said look at you. He said he's good looking and he can play guitar. Robin asked how much he practices. Steve said you need a time machine to go back to high school when you don't have a life and you can do that all day.
Howard said by the way Steve fucks hard. He said he remembers hearing that. He said he thinks Steve told him that. Howard said Robin wanted him after seeing those fingers move. Howard thanked everyone and got in a plug for Mugsy Jeans who sponsored the show today. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that he has so much to get to. He said fans are writing in. He said he forgot to mention that Jeff the Drunk will be on the special about gone but not forgotten. He ha Jeff on the phone though. He said that he forgot he wasn't dead. Jeff said he's not on SSI anymore. He said he hasn't been on it since last year. He said Shuli obviously didn't tell them that. Robin asked how long he was on it. Jeff said since his car accident in 1988 or 87. Robin said just last year he got off the public dole. Jeff said yeah. He said he's supporting himself with Cameo now. Robin said it's nice of him to let them off the hook.
Jeff said that High Pitch Erik is able to get assistance because he's not telling them what he's getting from Cameo. Howard said he thinks what he's saying is that he wants everyone to know that he's off of SSI and he's throwing High Pitch Erik under the bus. Jeff said they always call him out but not Erik. Howard said Erik is on the phone to defend himself. Erik got on and told Jeff to mind is own fucking business about him. Jeff yelled over him and went off on him.
Howard said he has no idea what's going on. He said this is more civil than the presidential debate. Jeff said he got a death threat. Howard asked him to tell him about that. Jeff said he wrote to the president about how this COVID thing was karma. He said that he had some fuck face DM him and say that he deserves a bullet in the head. He said he wrote back saying that this is America and he's free to think like that. He said he ended up blocking that guy. Howard said the world is really changing rapidly.
Erik asked about Joey Boots in the Gone but Not Forgotten special. Howard said they weren't able to include everyone.
Erik said he had knee replacement surgery. He said he has a way to help Gary put socks on. Jeff said he thinks that Erik only got the surgery to be able to talk about it on the air. Erik said you can put the sock on while leaning against the wall so you don't have to bend your knee.
Howard got Shuli on and asked if he knew about this surgery. Shuli said he did because Erik wanted him to come to the hospital. Jeff said Shuli has his favorites. Shuli said that this is Jeff's rap. He said that he gets upset when anyone else gets on the air. Jeff said he likes to be part of the show. He said he used to take his calls before Shuli. Erik told Jeff to shut the fuck up.
Howard said he had already gotten word that Jeff was upset with him for not picking up on him. He said Jeff doesn't get that he's not the whole show. Jeff said he never said he was. Howard said he is saying that when he complains. Jeff said he's part of the show and people ask why he's not on. He said Howard won't take his fucking calls and that's why he's not on.
Howard said the point is that he's not sure who these people are but this is not a democracy. He said that Jeff wanted to ask if he watched Saturday Night Live this week. He said there are better topics on the phones. Howard said Jeff is a little baby. Jeff said he'll pick up on Bobo or Mariann all the time. Howard said he doesn't always pick up on him but he has to deal with it. Robin said this is the Howard Stern Show and Howard talks to who he wants to. She said that's the end of the story.
Erik said he doesn't pick up his calls all the time. Jeff said he does pick them up every day. Robin said he does not. Jeff said that he tried to explain it to Mariann. Robin said he's not on SSI but he's on Cameo and he thinks that he has to help him promote that.
Howard said they have a Jeff the drunk Puppet. Shuli was working it but it was actually a High Pitch Erik puppet. Howard wrapped up with the guys a short time later. Robin said she loves that the puppet has yellow teeth. Shuli did his Erik impression for a short time. Howard spoke to the new puppet and found out that it has 2 cars just like the real Erik. Howard spent a little time with the puppet having Shuli do his best impression. He had him cracking his voice and all of that.
Howard said they asked the puppet guy to make the puppet as fat as possible. He said he was only able to make it so fat. He said he can't get it any fatter. Erik puppet said that Shuli's arm is about to fall off from the weight of it.
Howard thanked the puppet for making an appearance. He asked if he's going to be cutting some Cameos today. Erik said that he'll read whatever you want. He said he did one for something called ''White power!'' Howard said Erik has no idea that it might be offensive. Erik puppet did another Cameo where he said ''Happy birthday you fat cunt.'' Howard let him go and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and was about to say something but Robin said that some guy did a TikTok thing where he's singing along to a Fleetwood Mac song and the band has responded to it and there's a car company that reached out and bought him a new pick up. Robin said he also heard from Ocean Spray since he was drinking it in the video.
Howard said they were talking about Eddie Van Halen for about 2 hours earlier. He said this is something he wanted to show off. He said that Eddie gave him this guitar. He said it's called Wolfgang. He said it's named after his son. He said that Steve Nowicki can eat his heart out.
Howard said that Eddie wrote on the guitar. He said it says ''Howard, I don't care what people say about you, really. Or Me.'' He said it looks like the date of 98 on there. Robin asked where that was. Howard said he has it on display down there in his basement.
Robin asked if he ever called Eddie back when he called. Howard said he would pick up when he called.
Howard asked Fred and Steve to comment on that guitar. Fred said he's very happy for him. Steve said he's so glad he has that. He said that's what he came up with after all of his tinkering. Howard said that's a prized possession of his.
Howard said that people have written in saying they like his take on politics. He read through some of those comments. He said that people were saying that he was too hard on JD about his sports teams. He read some comments about what he was saying about being a fan of the team where you live.
Howard said he'll just say this once more. He said JD lived in Cincinnati and he got nothing from it. He said New York is his town now. He said that it's enough already. He said that New York has been so good to this guy. He said his life has changed from living there. Howard said go back to Cincinnati then if you love it so much. He said New York has been magic.
Howard took a call from Balls who said he said he perfected his Jeff the Drunk impression. He did a baby crying and told Howard never to take his calls again.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that this was a great show today and she was rubbing it in Jeff's face that he picked up on her again.
Howard said he got a lot of feedback about Boosie Badazz since they played clips of him yesterday. Howard read through some of those comments. Fans want him on the show. Howard said they might be looking into that.
Howard said they had a meeting and they thought it would be fun to take those clips and call other shows. He said they found a program about factory unions. He said grey called into that show and they seemed charmed by George at first but then it went bad. Howard said they called in 12 times over the course of an hour. He said they went into the following week of shows talking about it.
Howard played the new phony phone call where the guys took those clips and called into the show with the Takei clips. They had George asking about Star Trek and Star Wars. They went along with him and started trashing Star Wars after George did that. They thought he sounded a lot like George but George said he's not George. That went on for a few minutes with the hosts talking to him and not hanging up on him.
Howard said that George just wanted to cause trouble. He said he's thinking of calling another show. He said there's a lot of shows they can call into. He said there are shows on living the life as a Jedi and things like that.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk and said they already talked to him today. Jeff asked what the hatred toward him today is. Howard said he thinks people are upset with him. Jeff said he means Howard. Howard said he doesn't hate him. Jeff said he is pretty vicious. He said he thinks that he shouldn't be on the show. Howard let Jeff go a short time later.
Ronnie said this first clip is of August Aimes talking about a creepy fan. Howard played the clip and August talked about how this fan sent gifts to her agent for her. She said that he would send her some weird shit like his own clothes and things like that so he could move his stuff in with her. Howard said that's one way to move in with someone.
Howard said he has noticed that fucking guys on camera tends to attract creeps. He said that might be where these guys come from. Robin said she's not sure she's ever heard of such a thing.
Howard said he was handed a note about how August killed herself in 2017. He said cyber bullying caused her to do that.
Ronnie said this next clip is about some fans who are into shit play. He said it's so fucked up. Howard played a clip of this porn star talking about how she would poop in a toilet and this guy would want to eat it later. He had another clip of a woman who said she had a guy who was into that too and it was optional for her to watch him do it. Howard said he thinks Sal would be into something like that. Sal said he draws the line at shit.
The guys were talking about what the guy might want to do by making the shit sit in the toilet. They were talking about how he might want it to marinate in there.
Gary said he knows Sal isn't into this but who is Sal into. Sal said Sophia Vergara. Gary asked if she asked him to eat her shit would he do it. Sal said he would. He said you don't say no to anything she'd say. Ronnie said he thinks that J-Lo is hotter than her. Howard said Ronnie is out of his mind. He said he's off on that. He said no offense but he was on DailyMail and they had pictures of J-Lo without all of the Photoshopping. He said you could see the real J-Lo. He said she wasn't all polished up. He said he has seen Sophia Vergara in the same kind of setting and she's hotter. Ronnie said he just looks at pictures of J-Lo and thinks she's hotter.
Howard said he knows he looks like a car hit him the other day but he does think that Sophia Vergara is the better looking woman. He said J-Lo has a hotter face though. Robin said that there are men out there who love those big asses. Howard said JD is one and he's a freak. He said Ronnie thinks Sarah Sanders is hot. Ronnie said he just thinks she'd be a good fuck. He said she reminds him of a girl who went to an all girl's school and she'd be wild in bed. He said you think she's up for anything but she's a church going girl.
Howard asked Ronnie if he's projecting this because hew as into a girl like that. Ronnie said she has that look like she's up for anything. Gary asked about her physical body though. Ronnie asked who gives a shit. He said he's not going to marry her.
Howard asked if Ronnie would fuck her if he was single. Ronnie said sure. Howard said Ronnie told him that he'd give Sarah anal. Ronnie said for sure. He said he's sure she's into it. JD said come on. He said there's no way she's into that. He said she's one of the least sexual people out there.
Howard took a call from fake Sarah Sanders who said she was supposed to shit into him and he'll need a walker when she's done with him. Ronnie said that's fine.
Howard got back to Ronnie's package and asked what he has. Ronnie said they asked these girls what their weirdest porn scene was. He had Howard play a clip. Howard played one where this girl was talking about pumping air into her ass so she could push farts out. Howard said that's pushing the curtain back too far. Ronnie said that she's like Will the Farter.
Howard asked what the next clip is. Ronnie said this one is weird sounds. He said Richard found this a few years ago. He said this is a guy sounding like a growling bear while he's cumming. Howard played the clip of the guy growling. He said if he did that Beth would throw him right out of the house.
Robin asked if Ronnie makes noise like that. Ronnie said not like that but he does make noise. He said it just feels so good that he has to make noise. Howard asked if he thinks that this loud cumming is from watching porn. Ronnie said he thinks a lot of women like hearing that from a guy when he drops a load. Richard asked if that's right Robin. Robin said you do want to hear some noise. Howard said he had to stay quiet when he was growing up and jerking off. Gary said he did too. He said that he lived in an 1100 square foot house and he had to keep quiet.
Howard said now he cums like a church mouse. He said that he used to make noise for Beth but she wondered what the fuck he was doing.
Howard said they say that porn guys will take stuff to make their loads big. Richard said they say that celery will make your loads big. He said that's what Peter North claims. Howard asked if he's saying that it actually works. Richard said he was taking pills for that. He said that they were from a porn guy. He said he didn't even read the ingredients when he took them. He said that they were from Peter North.
Richard said he went to see Peter north and Jenna Jameson and he ignored Jenna and just asked Peter questions. Howard said imagine that you go to buy pills from Peter North and ignore Jenna Jameson.
Howard asked what his next clip is. Ronnie said it's a face fucking clip and it sounds like the Three Stooges. Howard played the clip and the guy did sound like something out of the Three Stooges. Howard asked what the guy was doing. Ronnie said he's not sure what face fucking is if you aren't fucking the girl's mouth. Howard said he needs some realism in his porn.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about Ronnie's taste in women. He asked if there is a woman he wouldn't have sex with. Ronnie said he was asked about Dolly Parton and he doesn't think so.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she has to talk about Gary's comets about Sarah. She said he has no business making comments about her with the way he looks. Gary said if it's a fantasy you pick the woman you want to be with. The caller said that the woman has to be with him in public too. Gary said that he wouldn't fuck Sarah. He said she doesn't appeal to him. Ronnie said you don't always go for the looks. Gary said he gets it.
The caller said she's furloughed from her job in the travel business and she said we have to get back to traveling. Howard said he isn't sure how we're going to get back to that. He said we need a mask campaign in this country like we've never seen before. He said that we need experts and we need a push for this. He said we have had other viruses that were nipped in the bud before. He said this is why we need government. He said they're supposed to protect all of us. He said it has to be one concerted effort to get it under control.
Howard said saying that you should go out and live your life is ridiculous. He said that Pence is complaining about the Plexiglas thing at the debate. He said people are losing their jobs and their lives. He said that he watched the speech Biden gave yesterday about race. He said that when people feel heard and they're part of the team. He said people are afraid to leave their homes. He said we have to get past that. He said that the White House has more COVID cases than all of Taiwan. He said he's getting ridiculed for wearing a mask. He said fuck that. He said we need a country wide mask initiative.
Robin said we need rapid testing too. Robin said they could let people get on an airplane if we had that. Howard said there were 40,000 new cases around this country yesterday. He said we're fucked.
Howard said we have to know the truth about what we're dealing with. He said we're not going anywhere when we have 40,000 new cases. He said if he were Kamala Harris he'd point out why she wants the divider. He said it makes perfect sense to have one. He said that you can do that or keep going with more cases. He said he wants to be able to go visit his parents. He said that he can't even do that.
Howard said his president yesterday retweeted a tweet comparing wearing a mask to carrying a purse. He said then sit in your fucking house for a year. He said we're not going anywhere as long as that's going on. He said keep sitting home and take it up the ass. Robin said Trump is still infected and walking around the White House and still spreading that virus. Howard said we need a plan to get this thing stopped. He asked what fucking world we're living in where you get made fun of for wearing a mask.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he tested positive for COVID and he has lung problems and can't get into see anyone until November. He said he has friends who won't wear a mask. He said they go here and there without masks on. Howard said he isn't getting that special drug that Trump got. He said he's fucked. He said we're all stuck in our houses. He said no one gets to go to Walter Reed. Robin said they were saying that he was probably the only person to be treated this early with that medication.
Howard said he feels like he's in the Twilight Zone. He said look at how this is being botched and handled. Robin said that Trump put the country in danger by becoming incapacitated by this virus.
Howard asked the caller about how he's handling this. The caller told Howard what he's been going through. Howard said he would spend his every waking minute trying to get this guy the drug that Trump got. He said he doesn't give a fuck about this Obamagate thing that Trump is trying to get out there. He said we're all fucked.
The caller asked if he thinks that Trump staged the whole thing. Howard said just asking that question shows how whacked out things are in this country right now. He said he hopes the feels better soon.
Howard said it's almost been a year since he last heard Gary coughing up phlegm in person. He said he won't do it on Zoom. Gary said he has a button for that.
Richard had Howard play one of the songs a fan sent in where he was just singing along to a music track. He had zero production values. Richard said those are his favorites. The guy was singing about Robin in his songs. Robin said that's really bad. Howard said that's really good. Richard said they have played his stuff before. He said these are his songs they just never got to. Howard said he sings with such passion. He said he should have hired that guy instead of Richard.
Richard said that Mike Bocchetti sent in some great song parodies too. Howard said he didn't know he sent in parodies. Richard had him play some of Mike's stuff. Mike sang about Gary. Howard said you can see why he's a professional comedian. He said that they say that the best songs are written in 10 minutes. He said that was fantastic. He thanked Mike and the other guy for sending the songs in.
Richard said that he and Sal used to send out 8x10s to the fans but they can't do that now that they're not at the office. Howard said he doesn't want any mail coming to his house. Richard said to some people it's important. He said he got an email from a guy telling him he was putting a curse on him because of this.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that her granddaughter was grounded for a few things and she lost her phone. She said that she took videos of her vagina and sent them to this guy she liked and the guy showed it to everyone. She said that she's just 13 and she doesn't think she should have a phone at all. Howard said that's a heavy question. He said the first advice is don't listen to them.
Howard said he didn't understand some of the story. He said that the 13 year old is sending video to some hood rats in the neighborhood. He said how about take away her vagina instead of her phone. He said that he's no expert but has anyone thought to sit down with her and tell her that she's a great kid but why are you sending this stuff out. The caller said that they do ask her that but she will get upset and run off. She said that she has tried to talk to her but she just walks away. She said they are working on getting her some counseling.
Howard said that the kid wants to be heard and you have to sit down and listen to her. Robin said that something is going on there and they have to listen to whatever it is. Howard said don't put her on Dr. Phil or anything. He said just try getting her to a professional.
Howard let the caller go and said the good news is that the kid isn't pooping in a toilet for guys to eat. Ronnie Puppet said that girl is just 5 years from working at Rick's.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he's wondering if Ronnie has decided on who he's voting for yet. Robin said he made a decision after the debate. Howard said he is no longer undecided. Ralph asked who he's voting for. Ronnie said he has nothing to say to Ralph. Ralph said he thinks it's important for people to listen to what Ronnie has to say. He said he has fans and he should say who he's voting for. He said if you aren't voting for Biden then there's a real problem there. Ralph said that anyone in his life who is a Trump supporter he won't talk to anymore. Ronnie said he doesn't care if he never talks to him again.
Howard said he heard the two of them got into a shouting match at the Zoom happy hour. Ronnie said that's not true. He said Ralph came on and he left. Ralph said if you vote for Trump then you're racist, greedy or dumb. He said it's just sad. He said he thought he was better than that. Ronnie didn't respond. He said he's just waiting for him to hang up on him again.
Howard let Ralph go off on Ronnie for a few minutes. Ralph said that things aren't going to change if Trump is in office. He said Ronnie has a voice and he can make a change. He said that if he has something to say he should say it. Ronnie wasn't responding.
Ronnie said he heard his point. Howard said he wants to know what's happening. He said Ralph is talking down to Ronnie a bit. Ralph said he's mad because he likes Ronnie and wants him to be on the team here. He said you can't just sit out. Robin said you can't like a person based on who they're voting for. Ralph said if you vote for Hitler is that okay?
Howard asked if Ronnie has anything to say to Ralph or not. Ronnie said he's standing there stone faced. Ralph said that everything Ronnie loves he can't do now is because of this guy. Howard said Ronnie isn't responding to him at all. Ronnie said he has nothing to say to him. Ronnie said let him talk to the puppet. He said according to Ralph he's a puppet anyway. Howard let Fred do the Ronnie Puppet thing for a short time.
Gary asked if Ralph has an issue with Benjy on this too. Ralph said he has an issue with anyone who supports Trump. Gary said he's not sure who Benjy is voting for but he may be leaning toward Trump. He said he can get on if he wants to. Ralph said his tolerance for idiots is just zero at this point. Benjy said this is much more from the left than the right. Ralph said that this isn't left or right. He said it's killing people and we have to get this guy out of office.
Howard said that he's not sure how left or right aren't equally passionate. Benjy was asked if he thinks that people should wear masks and he didn't give a straight answer. Howard said it's yes or not. Benjy was going on and on about what he's heard. Ralph went off on him about not giving a straight answer.
Benjy said he understands why Howard is for Biden. He said he likes big government. Howard said that's not why. He said that without government you don't have everything you love. He said he wants him to move to a country without government. Howard and Benjy went back and forth about that for a minute. Ralph told Howard not to get sucked into this. He said it's not about government. He said that they can't even get a straight answer from Trump and his cabinet. Howard said this is just common sense stuff. He asked where we're headed. Gary said it's still not clear where he stands on masks. Benjy said it's not the panacea that he thinks it is. Howard said he has heard his rap about being against the police and masks and all of that. Benjy said he appreciates the police so much. Jason said Benjy told him he wants to live in a world without government. Benjy said he appreciates the police. Howard said he wants to get out of here. He said he has to end this.
Howard said he does believe in government and it can work. He said he's no liberal but he does believe in government. He said he loves having the postal service and being able to drop something in a box and have it delivered.
Howard said he wanted to end on a happier note. He said that they did get to clean some of the computer out. He said that Ronnie is shutting down and has no comeback for Ralph. Ronnie said he didn't know that you judge your friends on who they vote for. He said he has nothing else to say.
Sal said he has a question for him. He said the country is so divided right now and if Biden wins it's still going to be divided. Gary said he disagrees. Sal said that the division between the red and blue will remain. He said he thinks that both parties have to work together. Howard said it's irrelevant. He said we need emergency surgery.
Howard said that we need to get a scientist up to talk about what to do and to get the same drugs that Trump got at Walter Reed into the hands of regular people.
Richard asked if Sal can put his dick in his ass to cheer them up. Howard said no. Sal said no. Gary said he can put that dick in Richard's mouth and that would cheer him up.
Howard said there's a lot of craziness going on. He said that Chris Wilding and Jason are also questioning their friendships with Ronnie over this. Jason said he can't be friends with anyone who votes for a white supremacist. He said that Ronnie is Jewish too so if he votes for something who is for the Proud Boys and all of that then it's questionable. Howard asked if he thinks that Ronnie supports Nazis. Jason said that he isn't able to denounce the white supremacists or the Proud Boys. He said if Ronnie comes out as a Trump supporter that means he's a racist to him. He said that he might be a self hating Jew.
Howard asked Chris where he stands on this. Chris said if you vote for this guy it's basically an act of violence toward him. He said that if you can't denounce what he's doing then you're against him. He said you have to denounce it. He said this guy has to go. He said if you're for him then they have nothing in common as people.
Jason asked if Ronnie can denounce racism. Howard said don't put him on the spot like that. He said they were having so much fun. He said they were talking about porn and now it's about racism. Ronnie said he has nothing to say. He said he's done.
Howard said that Benjy is bringing them down a vortex. He said that he is concerned about not having control over this. Ronnie said he's retiring from this whole deal at the end of the year so he's glad about that. Howard said this is a big announcement. Ronnie said he doesn't want to work in a place where they judge him on who he's voting for even though he never said who he was voting for. Ronnie said he doesn't need this bullshit. Jason told him to go hang out with racists then. Gary said he could fix this all right now by saying he's not voting for Trump.
Howard said that he supports Ronnie no matter who he votes for. Chris said it just hurts him to think that he'd vote for Trump. Jason said if he was voting for a white supremacist he'd get offended too. Robin said this was taken right down to the stupid. Benjy asked if Trump is really a white supremacist. Howard said they don't need to get into it with Benjy. He said he has to get control of the show right now.
Ronnie Puppet had a few things to say before Howard ended the show. Howard said a lot just happened. He said that they started out talking about porn with Ronnie. He said then it led to this.
Howard said that Ronnie leaving the show is coming up soon. He said that they have just a couple more months. Howard said if he's still stuck in the house he won't even have this anymore. Ronnie said it's fine. He said it'll be fine. He said he's leaving at the end of December. Howard said he's going to sit in his house and not work.
Gary said this seems like a rash decision. Ronnie said that he doesn't need to be in an environment where he's not liked. He said that he already voted for Trump according to the guys in the back office. He said that he doesn't need to work with 50 people who don't like him.
Howard asked if he will miss anyone. Ronnie said Sal and Richard. He said he knows who his friends are. He said he'll keep in touch. Sal said that if Jason was hurt Biden or Trump wouldn't show up but Ronnie would. Jason said he's not going to apologize for being upset about someone voting for a racist. Howard said the person who is happy right now is Vladimir Putin. He said he's not joking about that. He said they're fucking with America and it's all going down.
Robin said the weak spot is racism. She said that's where they always creep in and cause dissension. Howard took a call from fake Putin who was laughing about his evil plan coming together.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they need Ronnie if he's still working at home. Howard said that he needs him on the show. He said that he knows that this was a rash decision on Ronnie's part. Ronnie said he doesn't care anymore. He said he's at that point. The caller gave him a ''Wah'' and Ronnie said he doesn't need this aggravation at this point in his life. Howard asked the caller if he would be friends with Ronnie if he votes for Trump. The caller said he is friends with him on Twitter. The caller said he hopes Howard keeps going.
Howard showed his Eddie Van Halen guitar to Ronnie. He said it's just sad that it shows the major division in this country. He said Ronnie just quit the show. Ronnie said he's retiring, not quitting. Howard said he thinks that he spoke a little out of turn. He said if you want to stick with that then stick with it.
Howard asked who is going to yell ''cunt'' on the show if Ronnie leaves. Gary said he has a prediction. He said by the time they get back on the air again Ronnie will have changed his mind about retiring. Ronnie said he has no response for that. Howard said he's never seen him like this. Ronnie said call him all the names they want to. He told Chris to start his shit with him right now. Chris said he wasn't going to call him anything.
Gary asked if he'll see Ronnie at Happy Hour on Friday. Ronnie said no. He asked why he'd be there if no one wants him there. Gary said only two people spoke. Chris said he still has a chance to do the right thing. Jason said that he just said that it would hurt him and make him look at Ronnie differently. Ronnie said that's like putting a gun to his head. Jason said that he'd be upset if he went out ranting and raving about gay marriage.
Robin asked if he's getting a big backlash from social media. Ronnie said he's not getting any at all. He said they're getting more than he is. Howard said alright. Ronnie Puppet said that there won't be anymore stories about pegging or anything like that.
Howard said he's doing a show on Zoom and right below Benjy is a puppet. He said they have to end this. He said he's a uniter not a divider. He said he knows Fred is very Anti-Trump so will he end his relationship with Ronnie. Fred said not at all. He said he just hopes more people vote the right way. He said you can't change Ronnie's mind and that's the way it is.
Robin asked Jason and Chris if they think they're being intolerant. Chris said no. He said if someone was voting for Hitler he'd be upset.
Howard asked if Ronnie Puppet is voting for Hitler. Ronnie Puppet said he didn't vote for him but he did vote for Mousolini.
Howard said he hopes Ronnie gets laid tonight. He thanked everyone on the show for their work today.
Howard was trying to wrap up the show but the guys kept talking about the vote for Trump or not. They were going around in circles.
Howard took another call from Ralph who asked Fred how he can still be friends with someone who can vote for Trump at this point. He said he's clued in. Fred said that there are people who are very confused about what Trump is all about. He said that he's not a republican. He said he's not for the normal guy. He said you can't do anything about anything you can't control. He said you can't make someone vote for someone you want them to vote for. Ralph said that you can kick people out of your life. Fred said we all deal with various versions of that. He said you can't take it out on Ronnie. He said he's become the whipping boy. Howard said he didn't even say who he was voting for. Ralph said that he didn't say he was voting for Biden and he voted for Trump before.
Ralph said you can give people a pass for voting for Trump the first time but not a second time. Gary said he doesn't want to keep the show going but if you can't talk to anyone who voted for Trump then how is this country going to keep going. Howard said he really has to end the show.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks Howard has kept this going on for the past week or so. She said that he should have cut it off. She said it starts with him and he loves to pit his staff against one another. Howard asked what's wrong with that. The caller said that he says he's evolved. Howard said he says it but he's not. The caller said that Ronnie has been a very loyal employee to him and he is very hurt by this. She said he has been badgered enough and he should cut it off. She said Ralph is an idiot. Howard let her go on and on for a few minutes.
Howard said he doesn't have to pit the staff against each other. He said they do it themselves.
Howard said that he loves everyone there. He said the person who wants the last word on the show is Mariann from Brooklyn. He put her on and she was screaming unintelligibly so he ended the show around 11:30am.