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Howard said when you get there you're escorted to the hotel and grey put you up for 2 weeks. He said you're not allowed to leave. He said they bring you meals every day and they check your temperature and for COVID. He said they quarantine you for 2 weeks. He said while this person was at the hotel a fire alarm went off. He said they went out of their room and they had an official there who said stay in the room because it was a false alarm. He said they didn't let the person leave the room. He said the person is still in the quarantine. He said the net result of all of this is that there were 9 cases in the entire country and all 9 were brought in by foreigners. He said they have dampened the Coronavirus. He said that they're so on it that they now have a situation that is controllable.
Howard said there are still restrictions there but they have a feeling of safety that does not exist here in the States. He asked who the shithole country is now? He said there were 126 new cases in all of Australia. He said that he saw a number on the news that was crazy. He said here were like 56,000 in this country. He said this whole thing is ignoring science and masks. He said this guy Dr. Fauci is something. He said he's insulted all the time by the administration. He said the humiliation is crazy. Howard played a clip of Trump calling him and others idiots. They had Trump calling Fauci a disaster.
Howard said he's not sure how this is acceptable. He asked how this is a government. Robin said they say the most vulnerable economies are the United States and Brazil and another. She said the strongest is Australia. Howard said that he saw Trump speaking and he was saying that Biden will listen to scientists so don't vote for him. He said that Australia isn't closed down either. He said that they're just doing the right thing.
Howard said they made a phony phone call to a mistress as Dr. Fauci. He said that the only way he can stay in the game is if he's into humiliation. He said played the phony phone call the guys made and had him getting humiliated by this mistress. The woman was telling him to be a man but fake Fauci said he likes being humiliated at work. The woman ended up doing her Trump impression and insulted him.
Howard and Robin got a laugh out of that. Robin said she was thinking they should get her to play the President on Saturday Night Live.
Howard said there are a lot of people who are saved by this show. He said that he doesn't have to pay taxes because it's a religious show now. He said that a lot of people are excited by this. He said people are saved. He thanked the guy, Josh, for his call.
Howard said he has some examples of preachers who are talking about Coronavirus. He said these assholes on TV don't surprise him with their stupidity. He said that he met Robin in the 1980s and he always woke up Sunday mornings to watch these guys. He said they're basically pan handlers in the name of religion. He said that they're all fucking con men. He said there was this guy Amazing Randy who just died. He said he was on the show years ago and he just died over the weekend. He said that he loved this guy. He said he was a great magician and he got fed up with people who claim to have psychic powers. He said he didn't like the people who said they could contact people from beyond. He said he exposed these people. He said he offered people a million dollars to prove him wrong.
Howard played a clip of Anderson Cooper talking to Amazing Randy about the psychic powers thing. Randy was talking about the million dollar prize he had offered. He said that he had one woman who wanted to get the money but she wasn't able to get in touch with him.
Howard said these preachers speak in tongues and don't even have to use real words anymore. He said they claim to speak to god and we're 7 or 8 months into this quarantine and some of the world is getting back to normal but not us. He said that Australia is listening to science but not this country. He said that too many people are taking the word of preachers. He said they say that 55 percent of Americans think that god will protect them from getting infected with Coronavirus.
Howard said this guy is preacher Andrew Womack and he says that he can't imagine Jesus wearing a face mask. Howard played a clip of this guy talking about that and laughing about it.
Howard said this is another evangelist named Kenneth Copeland who prayed away Coronavirus earlier in the year. Howard played a clip of him doing that and someone speaking in tongues. Howard said people used to learn Latin but these guys just make up words. Copeland was demanding a vaccine comes immediately and the virus leave this place now. He said he demands that this is over and the country is healed and well again. Howard said he has a hype man behind him. He said he's like Ed McMahon.
Howard asked what that yelling is about. He said you'd think if you have religion behind you then you're calm.
Howard said this guy blew Coronavirus away in early April. He played another clip of Copeland preaching about wind and blowing it away. There were a bunch of people repeating after him as he was doing this wind thing.
Howard said if everyone on this show repeated after him it would sound more important. He said the best thing to do is yell in a church with no windows open to get rid of Coronavirus. Robin said this is where they learned that COVID-19 was spreading more.
Howard said this guy he's not sure if there's a sexual aspect to. He said that a lot of women are into preachers but this guy he's not so sure about.
Howard said this guy was taking credit for getting a heat wave to start to get rid of Coronavirus. He said he was praying for it and got the heat and the heat was getting rid of Coronavirus. He said people donate money to this guy. He played a clip of the guy talking about how the heat was going to get rid of Coronavirus. They were reading the news about it and they were taking credit for the heat wave. They were saying Coronavirus was going to be over after that.
Howard said this asshole caused the California fires too maybe. He said this guy Fauci is out there and he's a man of science and Trump is bad mouthing him. He said scientists saved Trump from COVID-19 but he's humiliating this guy.
Howard said keep praying it away, he said it should work any day now. Howard said they're taking this guy Copeland and they put heavy metal to his voice. He played an example of what someone did with that. Howard said all that guy wants is you to send him money. He said all that praying needs money.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wants to thank them for being so proactive on this virus. She said both she and her husband got the virus and he had to go to the hospital and he was on a ventilator for 7 days. She said he has been in the hospital for a month now and he may be coming home today or tomorrow. She said she has to thank Howard for what he and Robin have been doing. Howard said he'd like to say something. He started speaking in tongues. The caller said she appreciates all of them at the Howard Stern Show.
Howard said that they should say that the doctors saved her husband. She said it was them too. Howard said they'll thank them and the lord above. Howard said they have helped heal him too so praise Stern and praise Quivers.
Howard said he could listen to clips of these guys all day long. He said he's not sure how they find so many suckers to support these people. He said what's the blame for this virus is people's lack of caring for science.
Howard said this is another preacher blaming Coronavirus on sex. Howard played the clip of the guy talking about how we can't live a sinful lifestyle and this is how god is using this as a wakeup call.
Howard said they have stats on how many women are having premarital sex but not the men. He said they blame the women. He said that men can't help themselves apparently. He said that preachers claim to know everything.
Howard said that they think Stormy Daniels is bad but Trump is good but he just went astray. He said Stormy isn't a bad person. He said she's no different than anyone else. Robin said she ended up in the same room as the President. She asked how he got there. Howard said these guys act like they know everything. He said they think they're like psychics.
Howard said Pat Robertson thinks he knows how the election is going to turn out. He played a clip of Robertson talking about how Trump is going to be reelected. He said vote who you want to vote for but this is going to lead to civil unrest and so on and so forth.
Howard said it's great to talk to God and it's even better when people send you money for it. He said this is what Amazing Randy fought against. He said these guys want you to be stupid.
Howard said he has a quick game for Robin. He said he'll call it the Pat Robertson Blame Game. He said Pat knows just who to blame for bad things happening. He said that they're going to play a game where Robin guesses who he blames.
Howard said this is a practice question. He said the Las Vegas Massacre in 2017 was blamed on who by Pat Robertson. He gave Robin a few choices. Robin said she thinks that Gender Neutral Pronouns was a lock. She said that she knows he didn't blame the shooter. She said she's going to say that he blamed the gender neutral pronouns. Howard played the answer which was Pat blaming the profound disrespect of the President and for our national anthem.
Howard said this is not an easy game. He said they'll see how Robin does now. He said in 2008 the stock market crashed so who did he blame. He gave Robin a few choices of Abortion, Protestors or Transgender rights. Robin said she's going to say that it was transgender rights. Howard played the answer and it was Robertson blaming abortion.
Howard said Robin has to think about Pat Robertson. Robin said she's really unhappy that she can't think like him. Howard said a mom wrote to Pat about her daughter's stomach aches. He asked what he blamed them on. Howard gave her some choices. Robin said she's going to go with demon possession. Howard played the answer which was Pat talking about the child being possessed by demons. Howard said Robin got that one right.
Howard said that now Robin is thinking like Pat. He said she got one right. Howard said according to USA Today that in 1976 Pat claimed the world would end in 1982. He said in 1990 he said the world would be destroyed in 2007. He said that the key to making money is telling people that the world is going to end.
Howard said that there was an earthquake in Haiti so who did pat blame for that. He gave Robin her 3 choices and they were Haitians making a pact with the devil, porn addiction or the democrats taking control of the senate. Robin said she's going to say that it was Haitians making a pact with the devil. Howard said she's right. He played the clip of Robertson talking about that pact with the devil.
Howard said that Robin got 2 in a row. He asked Robin about a missionary asking Pat about catching AIDS in Kenya. He said that Pat told her she can catch it from what, towels, toilet seats or Kenyan currency. Robin said she's going to say it's the toilet seat. Howard played the answer and Pat said you can get it from towels over there.
Howard did his Pat Robertson impression and made up a bunch of nonsense about Tom Hanks and why he got Coronavirus. He said God was upset with him for dressing like a woman in a TV show he did called Bosom Buddies. Howard had Pat blaming the movie ''Philadelphia'' for getting Tom sick. He blamed Toy Story too. He said the toys were demon possessed so that's why Tom Hanks got Coronavirus. Howard was still in his Pat Robertson voice talking about all of this stuff.
Robin said Pat says that god spoke to him so does he have a really low voice because he says he ''thinks'' he told him stuff. Howard did more of his Pat impression and talked about that and why Jesus would never wear a mask or even a bicycle helmet. 'Pat' was saying that you look like a loser when you wear a mask or a bicycle helmet.
'Pat' said that Jesus never wore a cup when he played football. He said that those are homosexuals talking to you about wearing masks. He said it all goes back to the gays. He said they're going to tell each other to eat each other's feces too. He said that's where all of this trouble started in the first place.
Howard was going on and on as 'Pat' talking about all of this crazy stuff. He said all of this Coronavirus stuff is confusing. He was confused about Corona beer and Coronavirus. He said he's not sure who to trust.
Howard said there you go. Robin asked why you'd continue to do this stuff. Howard said once you get the taste of money you can't believe that people will send you money for this stuff. He said he's going to be 3000 years old and still take that money from those people. Robin said she'll catch him occasionally and she sees his son on with him. She said his son has the same voice. Howard said of course he does. He did more of his impression and talked about how hand sanitizer looks like the product Astroglide. He said that's used for homosexual fornicating. Robin said she's shocked that he'd know that.
Howard said Pat is 90 years old and he's not going anywhere. He said the greedy fucks of this world will take that money until the end. Robin said even the kids have to take it up and pass it along. Howard said Jerry Fallwell's kid fucked it all up for that family. He said his father would be so upset about that story.
Howard said that the Pope was saying that same sex relationships are fine. He said for years and years they were saying that God didn't want gays anywhere. He said suddenly God has changed his mind? He said it doesn't make any sense. He said that you have to be consistent. Robins said maybe the number of priests has gone down. Howard said there was an interview that resurfaced from last year and this one came out again. He said that god was so against gays and now he's changed his mind. He said it doesn't make sense. Robin said you have to have people coming in so you have to change. She said they will only put up with so much bullshit. Howard said he finds it crazy that people send people like that money.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she was shopping for flowers at the beginning of the pandemic and they were all wearing masks. She said the guy asked what they think about wearing masks and this woman said she lived in Asia for a few years and everyone there wears them. She said they wear them for air pollution. Howard said it's not that big a deal. The caller said that people are going insane for having to wear a mask. Howard said the whole thing is disheartening. He said it's enough with the masks.
Howard said the other night he was singing to the cat and he was singing this song that came to him. He said he doesn't know the lyrics to any song but this was a song from his childhood from Soupy Sales called ''Pachalafaka.'' He said this was from when he was maybe 5, 6 or maybe 7. He sang the song to Robin. He said this is what he was singing to his cat. He said what a weird scene Soupy was into. He said he's not sure what this song was.
Howard said he spent half the weekend looking the song up. He played a clip of the song for Robin. Robin said this isn't rock and roll. Howard said he made a music video for the song. He said that's what he was talking about. He said it was great. He said he had never seen anything like this as a kid. He said it was just so good. He said it made him sad for Soupy.
Howard said his cat seems to like the song Pachalafaka. He said he usually sings contemporary songs. He sings rock songs and other stuff. He said he'll sing Beatles to her. He said he and Beth are very happy together. He said they checked in and talked and they're doing great. He said so far so good in quarantine. He said they have left the house for short walks but that's about it.
Howard said it takes 10-15 minutes of cleanup after washing the fruit. He said he doesn't want to clean them anymore so he stopped. He said that he doesn't want to be bothered. He said he's lost a ton of weight by eliminating all of the stuff he has to clean. He said he's down to eating nothing.
Howard said he is on a pretty good diet now. He said he has been dropping weight. He said he has his set diet and he has granola and his Metamucil. He said he gives himself some extra. He said that he has a potato for lunch. He said he was eating too much bread. He said he has avocado with the potato. He said it tastes awesome to him. He said he was eating bagels and peanut butter for a while. He said he was packing on the pounds with that.
Howard said he's not sure what an Avocado has in it with calories. Robin said it's probably a lot but it has good fat in it. Howard said he has some good dinners. He said most nights it's simple stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that there's a great docu-series about The Comedy Store on Showtime. Howard said he has been watching it. The caller said they have some interesting stories in it. He mentioned one about Sam Kinison. Howard said it's produced by Pauly Shore and his brother. He said that Kinison is in it and more. He said he's a big fan of stand up. He said he didn't listen to a lot of it as a kid though. He said he saw Bill Cosby though. He said a friend took him and it was unbearable for him. He said he droned on and on and he never found the guy funny.
Howard said he's not saying this just because he's in jail. He said he never liked the guy. Robin said that's right.
Howard said that he wanted to be on radio and never thought about doing stand up. He said when he was at NBC radio Imus used to go around doing an act. He said he was kind of impressed by the guy. He said he would do a show for an hour or so. He said it wasn't the greatest but it was way better than he thought it would be.
The caller asked about Imus and Howard said he's no expert on him. He said he didn't hang out with the guy that much.
Howard said he had to do this show and he met Ronnie the Limo Driver when they set him up with a limo. He said he drove up with Fred to this stand up thing he was going to host. He said that Fred had nothing better to do. He said Fred was very nice and went with him. He said he was driven to this place to do this show. He said that it was a bizarre day. He said they went to the GM's house and he was hanging out with him and Fred.
Howard said he has a bad memory but he remembers hanging out with this guy who was a complete stranger. Fred said he's right about that. He had some other details that Howard wasn't ready to get to yet.
Howard said that he was told to do 10-15 minutes and he had to close the show by doing more of his own material for 15-20 minutes. He said they were paying him nothing to do this. He said he had no idea what stand up was. He said he had seen Cosby do his thing. He said that he gets up the stage and they introduce him as being from New York but he's in Hartford returning there. He said he gets up on stage and starts working the crowd asking for names. He said the next thing he knows he's grabbing booze bottles and selling drinks.
Howard said he got off after the first 10 minutes and asks Fred what he thought. He said he thought he did well. He said people were laughing. He said a friend from Elementary school was there and said he didn't know how funny he was. He said he remembers it being a disaster though. He said he didn't know what the fuck to do. He said there was a woman who was good looking and she was a beauty pageant winner so he was goofing on beauty pageants.
Howard said it was a disaster for him. He said that there was nothing funny. He said that he was trying to do material about someone ordering nachos. He said that he probably brought up someone having an umbrella. He said he was tanking. He said it must have been a horrible show. He said he was the funniest guy of the night from what he remembers. Howard said it was fucking ridiculous.
Howard said he should take a break. He said they've gone an hour and a half. The caller said that he doesn't think that he's gotten enough credit for how much he's helped comedians. Howard thanked him for the call. He said now he's gotten the credit.
Howard said he finally got the credit he wanted for helping to shape comedy. He said it was Mike from Maine who did that. Howard said he has had a lot of comics on the show but it's tough with them. He said JD tweeted about a comedian and that guy was terrific. JD said his name is Tim Heidecker. Howard said what a funny guy he is. JD said he doesn't do stand up in that special. He said he was kind of making fun of it in that bit. Howard asked JD what he's talking about. JD said he was sort of making fun of stand up. Howard said he was doing stand up though. Howard said he loves talking to JD. He said follow him and you'll see the link. JD said he was doing stand up but not the average kind of stand up. He said he doesn't know how to explain it.
Howard asked JD to explain what Tim does. JD said he was telling bad jokes and odd things and it was funny. He said he comes out in the first 5 minutes and can't get the microphone on the stand. Howard said he was doing stand up. JD said alright. Robin asked what he calls that. Howard said leave him alone. He said he was doing a parody of bad stand up. He said it was very good.
Howard said JD had tweeted it out and it was very good. He asked if the guy has been around. JD said he started out with these Adult Swim shows. He said that Tim and his partner did a show called Tim & Eric. He said that he does a bunch of comedy stuff.
Howard said he'll watch these guys he likes who do comedy but they go on talk shows and do material as guests. He said he'll book them on this show and think they'll do their thing but then he has to work at getting the material out of them. Howard said he'll try to set these guys up and they don't want to do their material on this show.
Gary said that they want him to do a career retrospective and they don't want to do their material on this show. Howard said he has to do the serious interview and he gets the serious comedian on the show. He said he just goes with the flow so whatever.
Howard said the Tim Heidecker hour long special is on YouTube. He said the other guy who is really funny is Sebastian Maniscalco. He did an impression of him. He said that guy is good too.
Howard said there's Dave Chappelle who is ridiculously good. He said he amped it up somehow. He said he can come up with a new act every hour it seems. He said that he has comedy in his veins.
The caller said that he and his brother would bond over the show. He said that this is real stuff. Howard said that's why he opened the show the way he did with the Australia thing. He said you have to listen to the first 5 minutes of the show.
Howard said they have leadership over there in Australia. He said that over 225,000 people have died in this country because of this. He said that it's not just going away. He said Dr. Fauci isn't a afraid and asshole. He said that he's sorry for the caller, Joe, and his loss.
Howard went through some stats about Coronavirus and how it's going up in this country. He said they can barely find it in Australia.
Joe told Howard he has to thank him. He said he appreciates what he does. Howard let him go after that.
Howard asked how it is that Gary just had to see. Gary said that they're friends of theirs and the wives are friends. He said he's friends with the husbands. He said it felt good to get together. Howard laughed.
Gary said the people are nice and they like them. Robin said people asked if she has seen anyone. She said what she misses is her freedom but she has no interest in social distancing. She said she doesn't want to go out to dinner or wear a mask at dinner. She said she knows it's bad for the economy but that's not dining out to her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has seen 16 year olds die from COVID and 80 year olds die from it. He said that he asked a doctor what the test accuracy is. He said that it's less than 50 percent. Howard asked why so many assholes in Florida won't wear masks. The caller said they're a bunch of idiots who can't just stay home. He said that the doctor said this would be over if people would just stay home and wash their hands and stay away from people.
Howard said there's hardly a new case there in Australia. He said we just have to do what they're doing. Robin said they say don't travel to see your family around the holidays and we'll do okay. She said people are going to do all of that. Howard said we're fucked. He said it's not going to go away.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she lost her mother 2 weeks ago when she died in England. She said that she was going to go to England but she was going back and forth about that. Howard said he has friends who had the same thing going on. He said don't feel guilty. He said that it's a horrible thing not to be able to go but you did the right thing by not going.
Howard said you did the right thing for society. The caller, Lee, said she knows she did the right thing but it's tough. Howard said she sounds like Madonna with that accent she has. He asked how she died. She said it wasn't COVID. She said she died but she wasn't able to go there because of COVID.
Howard said she sounds a bit like Adele. He said that she was on Saturday Night Live this weekend. He said he was consumed with her weight loss. He said that she lost a shit load of weight. He said he always thought she'd be hot if she lost the weight. He said he thought she looked really attractive. He said maybe not what he had in his mind but she did look good.
Robin said he loves shows where people lose weight so he was interested in seeing her. He said that she must have lost 100 pounds. He said that he was consumed with her on Saturday Night Live. He said he didn't care about her acting or anything like that. He said that he wanted to see if she looked hot.
Howard said so many fat people think they'd be hot of they lost weight. He said Benjy is like that. He said don't assume that's the case. He said Adele looked pretty good. He asked if she's seeing anyone. Robin said she got divorced and she has been doing this for over a year. Robin said she was looking at her skin. She said she was wondering if she could see any sagging but she looked good.
Howard said he saw something in her face. Robin said she did keep her upper arms covered. Howard said her upper arm could end up looking like a wizard's sleeve. He said Sacha Baron Cohen used that line about a woman's vagina once.
Howard got in a plug for Casper Mattresses who sponsored the show today. He went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that's Scott Stapp from Creed. Robin said she's not sure if that's Creed. Howard said that's the guy. He wondered what happened to that guy.
Howard said he was going to drink some water but he forgot. He said he had a cup in the morning and one at lunch and he had to pee so bad. He said they were watching the new Borat movie and he had to get up to pee like 7 times. He said he only had 2 things of water. He said his prostate must be super enlarged.
Howard said the Borat movie was good. He said at one point Borat teaches his daughter not to touch her own vagina because it has teeth and it might make her eat herself. He said there's another point where the girl dances and pulls up her dress and she's having her period. He said she has a full bush down there. He said that was hard core.
Robin said the President was asked about the movie and he said he doesn't think that guy is funny. Howard said you can't not think that guy isn't funny. He said Sacha was out promoting the movie and he didn't come on this show.
Howard said he wrote down some of the funny moments in the movie and he threw it out. He said he's very disorganized during this COVID thing. He said that vagina eating thing was funny.
Robin asked about the Rudy Giuliani thing. Howard said he wasn't sure why Borat interrupted. He said that was a weird moment. He said that Rudy did ask for her number and it was kind of weird. He said he's not sure why Sacha interrupted him. He said it's all up for debate.
Howard said he did have a list of funny moments that he thought were good. He just can't find it. He said he had it like 2 seconds ago. He said it's gone.
Jon told Howard about some of the things Perez wrote about in that chapter. He had a lot of details about the Benjy thing. Jon said Perez said that straight guys like that kind of thing more than gay guys.
Howard said when he was in camp they would make schlager balls out of toilet paper and throw it at each other in the shower. Gary said they did that in school too. He said they'd throw that stuff in the shower and try to hit you in the asshole.
Gary said there was another thing where they would pass a 45 record in their ass cracks.
Howard said he remembers stories about hazing in colleges that were really crazy. He said they would blindfold guys and make them think they were sucking on a cock by having the smell of piss in the room and things like that.
Howard asked Benjy what he thinks about this. Benjy said he's not proud of the act but not ashamed either. He said he was on TMZ that day and everyone was talking about it. Howard said he thought he was going to get a movie deal out of that. Benjy said he hoped so.
Howard asked if he lost weight. Benjy said he did but he put on like 15 pounds over the past 2 weeks. He said overall he was good. He said he was down to 202 but then he was up to 215 the other day. Howard asked how tall he is. Benjy said he's 5'8'' or 5'9''. Howard said he looks good. Robin said his face is less round.
Howard asked if he read the book yet. Benjy said not yet. Gary said they went to Perez's fuck pad that day and he was on the bed next to him sharing headphones with him. He said it was the weirdest thing ever. He said Perez was at the other end of the bed with a rubber glove on.
Gary asked if Benjy was on his back. Benjy said he thinks he was. He said he had his boxers down but not off. He said that made it even creepier. Howard said they're going to play that stuff on Howard 101 this afternoon on Sternthology.
Jon read more of Perez's story about Benjy. He was going over the things happening that day in the room with Benjy.
Gary said he thought the police were going to break the door down because it sounded like a murder was happening. Howard asked Benjy if it was painful. Benjy said it wasn't a sharp pain but there was pressure in there. He said it was a very scary feeling. He said he was jamming it in really hard.
Benjy said that he was going to make out with Gary that day but he didn't want to get in trouble. Gary said he's looking at a picture from that day and it just looks very wrong.
Howard asked if Benjy was shocked by the feeling. Benjy said he has things under his balls but inside he doesn't get it. He said that Ronnie said it's exciting but he doesn't want anything inside. He said that you can get to the prostate from the outside too. He said afterward he had horrible pain in his balls and he went to the doctor and he had to explain what he had done. He said he could have said a woman fingered him but he told him it was for his work. He said he did get an infection from the fingering. He said he had to take an antibiotic for it.
Howard said Perez did use a glove. Benjy said he still has that glove. Howard said he cold probably auction that off. Gary said he had gloves on both hands. He said he was wondering what he was planning. Jon said that he wrote that he was ready to do both hands but Benjy looked scared so he didn't push it.
Howard said Benjy didn't have anything up his ass before that. He said he thinks that Benjy was freaked out so maybe that's why he had a stomach ache. Benjy said he did have a colonic once. He said that was scary too. He said he'd scream and the nurses would be like ''Just take it!''
Benjy said when he got back to the studio Howard was there and consoling him. Howard said of course he would. He said that's too much. He said he put his ass on the line no pun intended.
Howard said the book is called TMI: My Life in Scandal. He played a clip from that day when Benjy took the finger up his ass and screamed.
Howard said Jon Hein audio book is on the phone. He said he must want to weigh in on the gay stuff. The guys had edited together Jon saying gay stuff that he had done with fast food. They had clip after clip of Jon saying weird stuff. Howard was getting creeped out by some of it so he let Audio Book Jon go.
Howard said he was wondering what the staff would do if they didn't have work anymore because he retired. He said Benjy was talking about leaning out his storage unit and losing weight. Benjy said that's not his life dream. He said it's just some things he wanted to do.
Howard said Benjy said he wants to do stand up. Benjy said that he would rather make less money and have people come to him. Howard said he wants to be like he was on America's Got Talent. He said that he made them come to him.
Howard went to Benjy Puppet who was talking about losing weight too. Howard said he read that Benjy went to a barber to get his beard trimmed. He asked if that's true. Benjy said he did. He said it gets real messy and the barber asked if he wanted him to clean it up. He said they can make it look sharper than he can. Howard said he'd think in this time you could do it yourself.
Benjy said he ran up to Perez about a year after the fingering and he wouldn't talk to him. He said he felt like a guy who was ghosted by a woman.
Howard said he wants to figure this out. He said Bobo's life is so empty that he spent 27 hours and 20 seconds on hold for the show. Gary said they're only on 3 days a week and that was probably 9-12 show days in a month.
Howard said Bobo was thinking that Beth should be in Popular Mechanics. Howard asked if he gave up on that and switched. Gary said Bobo must know that he looks at the computer to see what he has to talk about. Bobo said he knows that Howard can't take his call every time. He said he leaves it to the phone screener to go with it or not. He said he was waiting for Beth to come and give him the strawberries and maybe Howard would pick up.
Howard asked why Popular Mechanics. He said it seems to be a magazine that has inventions and people who work in mechanical areas. Gary said they do talk about gadgets and stuff but he's still not sure how it pertains to Beth. Bobo said they had a model named Munn something. Gary said Olivia Munn. Bobo said they had her installing stuff in her house and stuff.
Howard said Mariann from Brooklyn told Bobo not to use that on the air but he went with it anyway. He got Mariann on the line and she went off on Bobo about how she told him not to bring that up. Howard hung up on her when she was about to change subjects.
Gary said Bobo had a topic about Ronnie and a retirement party. He said he was asking if he was going to have one. Howard said he didn't pick up on that one either. He said that he's not sure what to do with that question. Bobo said he was wondering what they were going to do for the day.
Gary said those had some basis in reality. He said this one he doesn't understand. He said Bobo wanted to know if Shuli has a storm cellar in his new house. Howard said no wonder he won't pick up on Bobo. Bobo said he just said that because it's in Alabama and grey have a lot of storms there.
Howard stopped the show to think about caller Lee's family. She asked him to do that at 9:30 for her.
Bobo puppet started asking a bunch of dumb questions about Shuli and his new house. Howard said these are all good questions. Howard asked Bobo what his reasoning was behind that storm cellar thing. Bobo said he called up during that hurricane that was hitting Alabama. He said there were a bunch of tornados down there so he wanted to know.
Howard said the stats are startling about Bobo. He said he spent more than a day on hold. Howard said he thinks he has had enough questions. Bobo said he was wondering if he reached out to Robin privately after the show on Wednesday. Howard said he reaches out to her a lot off the air. Bobo said he was wondering because of how the show went last week. Howard said he thinks he's running out of questions.
Bobo puppet asked if he thinks Shuli has listened to Sweet Home Alabama since moving down there. Howard said he thinks he has actually. Howard played a song parody about Bobo.
Howard said they went back and found a tape of Ronnie announcing who he voted for in 2016. Howard played a clip of Ronnie talking about how he doesn't like Hillary and he hopes Trump runs the country like a business. He and Fred were arguing back then too.
Howard said that it's weird to him because Ronnie told someone that Clinton was the best president in his lifetime but then he was saying that he doesn't like them in that clip.
Howard said this generated some email. He read through some of that mail about the fight Fred and Ronnie had last week. There were some who were on Fred's side and some on Ronnie's side.
Fred said he has a question for Ronnie. He asked why he didn't vote for Hillary. Ronnie said he just didn't want to. Ronnie said they just played what he said about Trump back in 2016. Fred asked if he could go back in time and change that vote would he change it. Ronnie said he wasn't thinking COVID then. Fred said he's asking if he thinks Trump has done a good job with COVID. Ronnie said no he doesn't. Fred asked if he feels he has put this country in peril. Ronnie said he doesn't get that. He said he's not arguing with him about this. He said he wears a mask wherever he goes. He said he's entitled to his opinion and so is he.
Fred said Mitt Romney said he voted and didn't vote for Trump. He asked if he'd say that. Ronnie said he's not saying who he's voting for. He said he doesn't have to say who he's voting for.
Howard asked why he was so vocal in 2016 and not now. Fred said he asked him that last time and didn't get an answer. Ronnie said he felt like we needed a change in 2016.
Ronnie said lets all pile on. He said that it's every fucking day with this bullshit. He asked why he's being targeted. He said there were others who voted for Trump in 2016 so why aren't they going after them. Gary said the question is simple. He asked why he was so vocal 4 years ago but not now. Ronnie said he's not happy with the whole COVID situation. Gary said he wasn't angry 4 years ago. Howard asked why he's secretive now. Ronnie said here's the deal. He said he doesn't want to say because it's a matter of principle now. He said they pile on him day after day.
Gary said take that out of the equation for a minute. He said he gets that he's been driven to the edge. He said at the beginning before they drove him to the edge, why didn't he want to talk about it. Ronnie said he doesn't have to talk about who he's voting for.
Howard said something changed. He said he used to be open about this stuff. Ronnie said they're on his back about it every day. Howard said they weren't on his back every day. He said 4 years ago he was very vocal.
Howard said what he loves about Ronnie is that he'll talk about anything. He said that he's very open about sex stuff and sticking dildos up his ass. He said this is what he loves about Ronnie. He said he talked about putting shit up his ass. He said that he'll talk about anything. He said he's a free soul. Robin asked what happened. Howard said that's what he's trying to figure out.
Ronnie said he's just being a dick now. He said he won't say it. He said he's just not going to say it plain and simple.
Gary said he doesn't want to know who he's voting for. He just wants to know why he won't talk about it. Ronnie said it's general principle now.
Howard said Ronnie would walk in there and talk about washing his asshole in his sink. He said he knew a star was born when he did that. He said this guy is a star. He said most people won't admit to stuff like that. He said he did it. He said one day he was on the air and Ronnie came in and talked about his parents having a threesome and he jerked off thinking about it. Ronnie said he didn't jerk off on the floor. Howard said people want to know how to become a star on this show. He said follow Ronnie.
Howard said Ronnie once walked into the studio and told him about getting a blow job from a woman who took her teeth out. He said that he pulled a rock hard shit out of his own ass with his own two hands. Robin asked what can shut him down. Howard said this is why he's fascinated. He said in 2016 he was talking about voting for Trump. He said it was refreshing. He said he once walked into the studio and told a story about shitting his pants and throwing his dirty underpants in Central Park. He said this guy is really honest. He said it is unusual that this open book shut because of this one thing. Ronnie said he's listening to his Twitter followers. Howard asked why he's listening to anyone. He said none of his followers would tell the stories he tells.
Ronnie said he gets a lot of direct messages on Twitter. He said he can count on one hand how many of them agree with them. He said they all agree with him. Howard said he wants to know why he clammed up on this. Ronnie said it's a matter of principle. Howard said he doesn't get it. He said it wasn't principle at the start of this. Ronnie still wasn't talking.
Howard said he has to tell him something. He said if he wants to stand his ground that's fine. He said he can be the guy who clams up. Ronnie said if he loses friends then they weren't his friends to begin with.
Howard asked Fred what he thinks about this. Fred said that it's unfortunate that he wont come out and talk about not voting for Trump after he voted for him in 2016. Robin said now we're stuck with an angry Ronnie. Ronnie said he's not angry. He said he was but not now. Ronnie said he made a decision about a couple of things and that was great. Howard asked what decisions he made. Ronnie said things happened. He said that people said things and he made a decision about what he needs to do and he did it. Robin asked if he's going to tell them those. Ronnie said he has to think about that. He said he'll think about it. Howard said that sounds like a threat. Ronnie said it's not. He said some people weren't really his friends and they made him feel bad enough that he did something that he was afraid to do and he's going to do it. Howard said he thinks he bought a house in Vegas. He said he thinks he's moving ahead with his retirement. Ronnie said he's not sure about total retirement. He said he has been speaking to certain people and they'll see down the line what they want to do with him. Howard said he's being very cryptic. Ronnie said he's not. He said that he thanks those people who told him to go fuck himself. He said that he felt hurt and disappointed and he was afraid to do something so he went ahead and did it. Gary asked if he may still be with them if they do more there. Ronnie said it depends on the person he was talking to. He said they gave him the courage to do what he had to do.
Robin asked if he should make a decision on something when he's angry. Ronnie said he thought about that too. He said he did something he had to do. He said some people acted a certain way toward him and he did what he had to do. Howard asked what that decision could be. Ronnie said he'll tell him. He said back in March after he came back from Puerto Rico they were supposed to go to Vegas. He said they had to cancel that. He said they tried to go in July again but then Stephanie had to have an operation. He said they were going to go in August and that didn't work out. He said they flew out to Vegas this past vacation and they found a house they want. He said they have 2 bids on a lot and they're waiting to see what they get. Howard said he knew it. Ronnie said then construction can start. Howard said he knew it. He said he was pushed because of Ralph or Jason and Chris. Ronnie said it was just in general. He said that pushed him not to be scared to get on a plane. He said he was terrified to get on a plane but they spent 9 days in Vegas. He said it went very well.
Ronnie said they got to Vegas at 6 on a Thursday night and there was no one there. He said it was just the people who work there at JFK. He said the only people they saw were people getting on their flight. He said Vegas was different but they got there late at night and it wasn't too bad. He said it worked out very well.
Howard asked if he wore a mask. Ronnie said the whole time. He said they're very good with that on the plane. He said they clean the plane before you get on. He said he was still nervous but he felt a lot better. Howard said that was a big risk. Ronnie said he knows. Robin said that's a risk he took because he was angry.
Howard said he's glad he's feeling okay. He said he rolled the dice and he's doing okay. He said it may not happen again like that. Ronnie said you're rolling the dice every time you walk out the door.
Ronnie said these guys just pushed him to do something. He said he has to thank them for doing that. Chris Wilding asked if he really thinks he wasn't going to do that on his own. Ronnie said he doesn't care what he thinks. Chris said he's being a martyr. Ronnie said he's not. Chris said they didn't get him into a corner and make him do this. He said that's the way he's acting. Ronnie said Chris is a little dictator. Chris said he just said he'd prefer he vote for someone who isn't a racist. Ronnie said he can't even vote so shut the fuck up. Chris and Ronnie were talking over each other going off on each other about all of that. Ronnie told him to go back to his country where he belongs. Chris said that's all he needs to know about who Ronnie is supporting.
Howard kept thanking Ronnie and Chris but they were still yelling at each other. Howard said this is what's going on all around the country. He said people are at each other's throat. He said he's anxious to see what happens on election day. Ronnie said Chris is a fucking asshole. He asked why he took his camera off. Howard said he did that.
Ronnie said Chris started it so he's going to finish it. He said he's not going to stop. Howard said everyone calm down. He said all of America is at each other's throats.
Howard said he's not sure why there's even an argument. Ronnie said he doesn't either.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks to find out what he thinks about all of this. King said that what he's trying to do is hold power over the show. He said this is his big moment to shine. He said that's why he's not telling them anything. Howard said he was curious about why it was this.
King said that he's a punk and he won't say who he's voting for. Howard said he's entitled to keep that quiet. Ronnie said at least he knows who he is. He said King wants to be someone he's not. He told him to go fuck himself. King said that's what Ronnie thinks.
Howard let Ronnie and King go at each other for a minute and then let King go. Ronnie said he can't face who he really is. Robin said she wishes she knew who that really is. Ronnie said so does he.
Howard asked when his new house will be done. Ronnie said it depends on the lot they get. He said construction would start in January and maybe be done by June or July. He said the other one might be done by May. He said it depends on which one it is.
Howard said he put some bids in then. Ronnie said they have the house picked out they just have to figure out which lot. Howard said they'll be sad to see Ronnie go.
Howard said Ronnie Puppet is wearing a plastic mask that makes a lot of noise. Ronnie puppet took it off. Robin said it looks like the mask Adele was wearing on Saturday Night Live. Howard asked if Ronnie saw Adele on Saturday Night Live. Ronnie said he didn't see it. Howard said he'd like him to see it and give his feedback on that.
Howard said he is sad to see Ronnie go. He said he knows he's happy. Ronnie said they're both happy.
Howard took a call from fake Ivanka Trump who said she loves the arguing on the show. She said it's like the year daddy had all of his wives show up for Thanksgiving. Howard asked Ivanka how she's doing. She said she's doing well and she's killing it lately. Howard asked why her dad is doing rallies without a mask. They had jokes about that for fake Ivanka. She asked Howard to wear one now. Howard said he feels confident in a mask.
Howard asked Ivanka to tell Ronnie why her father is a better choice than Biden. She asked if Biden has a smoking hot daughter.
Howard went through the script with fake Ivanka for a few minutes before wrapping up with her. Howard said that she's a fun girl.
Howard said that Ronnie should relax. Ronnie said he's relaxed. Howard said he's all red. Robin said he's just thinking about his new home. She said he doesn't care about what happens there on the show. She said that he has something to look forward to.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that they should have Ronnie banned from the show. He said he's willing to travel but won't share who he's voting for. Howard said that's his right. He said that he's the guy who does share anything but not this. The caller said he won't share this so what does he contribute to the show now?
Howard took a call from a woman who said she understands that this is a big decision for Ronnie. She went over a bunch of things that Trump has messed up and how all Biden has done is say ''Here's the deal'' and he's making fun of that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that polling is false because people who are taking polling calls are lying like he has when he has answered them. Howard said that's a very sneaky tactic.
Howard asked if Ronnie wants to talk to Ralph. Ronnie said he's not his friend. He doesn't want to talk to him. Howard took the call anyway. Ralph said he's happy that he helped Ronnie make this life decision.
Ralph asked why he has to build a house out there in Vegas. Ronnie said they saw a lot of houses out there and if you go and look at the resales they're 10-15 years old and the inside needs a lot of work. He said the prices they're asking are too high so you can buy a brand new house and build it the way you want... Ralph said he just wants to know who he's voting for.
Ralph said that he went into people's houses. Ronnie said he must have looked at 50. He said he and the broker were in different cars and they were all wearing masks. He said everyone in Vegas wears masks. He said there were no arguments about it.
Ralph said he's sorry he feels the way he does. He said this is really important and he really likes Ronnie. He said he hopes if he votes that he considers not voting for Trump. He said he thinks he's better than that. Howard said he's talking about the future of the country.
Ralph said that he thinks Ronnie could have an effect on this election. Ronnie said everyone should get out and vote then.
Ralph said Adele looked really good on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he agrees. Howard played a song parody about Ronnie and how he doesn't talk about who he's voting for.
Howard said they're writing songs about him and everyone is concerned. Ralph said just take a day to think about it and don't feel backed into a corner. He said it doesn't ave to be a big thing. He said just say who you're voting for. Ronnie said he hears him. Howard said he has spoken to Ralph off the air but not a lot. He said Ralph called him the other day but he'll get to that some other time. He said he's not looking for people to talk to off the air. He said he wishes people would leave him alone.
Ralph said Matthew McConaughey was good. He said that's probably what he wanted to talk to him about.
Ralph said he can't let go of this voting thing. Robin said that we're all frustrated. Howard said that we can't let this go on. Ralph said that things are getting worse. Howard said listen to what he said about it this morning first thing.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks the people who are telling Ronnie what to do are bullying him just like Trump is bullying people. He said Ronnie has the right to do whatever he wants. He said he doesn't like Ronnie but he has the right to his opinion. He said it sounds like we're harassing him.
The caller talked about a confrontation he had with Ronnie out at America's Got Talent. He said that he yelled something out and he gave him the stink eye. Ronnie said that's not a confrontation.
Howard took a call from a guy who told Ronnie he's dumb for building a house and how dumb that is because he still has to put money into it. The caller said he still has to put a lot of money into the yard and stuff even if he has a house built. Ronnie said he looked into it all. He said it's all factored in.
Howard said Ronnie went to Vegas and factored in the costs of building a house and buying an older house. He said he's not sure why this guy doesn't get that. The caller kept bringing up the cost of putting a yard in. Ronnie said they have already gone over all of that. Howard said there are extras they will get you with. The caller said there are neighbors who go 5-10 years with their yards being overgrown. He said that Ronnie will have one of those houses. Ronnie said this guy is a fucking asshole.
Howard asked the caller about putting a yard in out there. the guy kept saying it costs a minimum of 100 grand. Howard said that he knows that when you build a new house halfway through you want to change things. He said that's fine but they get you with the cost. He said it cost him a fortune. Ronnie said they know all of this.
Ronnie asked the guy what town he's in. The caller said he has to say if he's voting for Biden or not. Ronnie said this guy is talking like a total asshole. He said he's a fucking moron. He said go fuck yourself.
Howard let the caller and Ronnie go back and forth about all of that for a few minutes. Ronnie said he's done with this guy. Howard said he's sure Ronnie was very intelligent about all of this.
Howard said that you have to be smart about things when you buy a house. Ronnie said he knows that. Howard asked if his back yard is really going to cost $100,000. Ronnie said probably by the time the pool is in. Howard told him not to put in blue stone. He said that he has to keep that in mind. Ronnie said he just wrote that down.
Howard said he supports whatever Ronnie does. He said good luck with the house. He said he wishes him luck out in Vegas. He said this was a very exhausting show. Robin said thank god there's just a few more days left before the election. Howard said we have to get it over with.
Howard asked Robin why her background changed. Robin said she's in a different place. Howard said he likes it. He said it's very pink. Robin said it's beige. Howard said tomorrow is another day. He wrapped up and ended the show around 10:50am.
Howard said he's not sure how he can be 6'5'' and weight 189 pounds and still have a belly. He said when he used to run and do more core work he almost had a six pack. He said then there was a point when he wasn't able to run anymore. He said he would do sit ups and stuff and everything hurt. He said he just starves himself now. He said he does a little bit of weights. He said he bench presses two 10 pounds. He said that he's thin in the wrong areas like his arms. He said there's nothing right about the way he works out. He said he does Peloton and that keeps the fat off of him. He said he's disgusting.
Howard said as soon as he leans back the belly shows. He said he has hair on it and it's gross. He said the control room sees everything. He said he hates being the disgusting one but he is. Robin said maybe they're disgusted by all of them.
Howard said they tell him right before they go on the air that he's showing that belly. He said he feels even more defeated.
Robin asked if this happened in the studio. Howard said they had different angles there. He said that his wife calls his belly his ''jelly'' so she asked him about that. He said that she looks fucking hot and he looks at himself and realizes he's not keeping up his end of the bargain. He said he didn't look too bad when they got together. He said he has an old man neck now and Beth has to remind him about walking hunched over. He said the other day she told him he was doing that and she was told to tell him that. He said he told her not to tell him anymore because he feels uglier than normal.
Howard said when he hears that he's hunched over he's uglier than he imagines. He said he feels ugly every day but then he hears that his shirt is crumpled and his belly is sticking out. He said he's denying himself every bit of food.
Howard said Dr. Agus had him take a blood test. He said he's been eating some richer dinners and lunches. He said that he was having these protein drinks and eating less meat. He said they did the blood test and his cholesterol was up. He said that never happens. He said there was a lot of sugar in his blood too. He said that never happens. He said Dr. Agus tells him this and he's shocked. He said he's 189 pounds at 6'5'' and he's got too much sugar. He said that he asked what he can do. He said Dr. Agus told him to stop with the drinks. He said he was putting a banana in there and he told him to stop with that.
Howard said it's not like he's eating candy. He said he had a banana. He said that's gone and he can't drink. He said you'd think he'd be in good condition. He said he can't eat chocolate or drink coffee. He said they're going through and fine tuning what he can eat. He said you'd want to throw up at this. Robin said if he has a sugar problem it's the carbohydrates. Howard asked what he can do. Robin said stop the potato. Howard said no. He said that's helping it.
Howard said he just wants to say fuck it. He said it's not fair. He said he can't eat anything good. He said he's fucking depressed. Robin said even the pope said that eating fine food is divine. Howard said he can't have any fun. He said he has to keep himself healthy especially during COVID.
Howard said he watches the Bachelor and they don't work and have 8 pack bellies. He said that every guy on that show doesn't have a job or they're ex football players. He said you wonder what they did after that. He said they become models. He said he's not sure when these guys work. He said they have to be in the gym all day.
Robin said she was watching and this one guy had a bicep that was huge. Howard said he saw that. He said he bets there's no jelly showing on that show.
Howard said this poor guy on the show tells this girl that he wanted to pursue her. He said she asked what he liked about her and he said that she was attractive so he applied to come on the show. Howard said she asked if it was just her looks and the guy said yes. He said the woman says that most guys say that they admire her drive or fortitude and all of that. He said the guy is kind of dumb so he doesn't know what to say. He said she got so insulted that she kicked him right out for being superficial. He said he's the only guy telling the truth. He said that's what happens when you walk into a bar. He said he wanted to get to know her.
Howard said he wanted to tell this Clare that she was a moron. He said that this guy was being honest. He said he liked her looks and she got insulted. He said that's what you go on that show for.
Howard said he loves this show so much. He had a clip from the show where Clare kicks this guy off for liking her looks and being superficial.
Howard said he loves The Bachelor. He said there was one guy on the show named Chasen. He said every other word he says is ''like'' and he's never heard anything like this. He said it's unbelievable. He said the country is filled with idiots. He said they can't get through a sentence without saying ''like.'' He had Fred play a bell sound every time he hears that word. Howard played the clip and Fred played the bell a lot.
Howard said Fred wasn't even able to keep up with them. He said it was a lot of likes. He said we all say like but it was every other word. He asked who could go on a date with that idiot. He said even Clare's name is gross. He said it's Clare Crawley. He said she gave the heave ho to a dude because she had never met him and he said he liked her looks. He said she's annoying so that's why she's not married.
Howard said no guy wants to be with a woman like that. He said that no one is after her apparently. He said it's the best season so far. He said that Chris Harrison is great. He said he calls her a mess. He said it takes one to know one. He said the show is good because they can't even leave the house. He said they're all in quarantine together and there's no going in limos and things like that. He said if they want to go on a date they just move over to the pool. He said it's perfect. Howard said she decided to marry someone as soon as she got out of the limo.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he should go lift some heavy weights. He said he can be there to straighten out his neck after that.
Howard said it's over for him. He said that only Jack LaLane was in shape until the day he died. Howard said he used a paper clip to fix his shirt. He said no more jelly.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she's very upset with the climate of the world and with the show and Ronnie. Howard asked who she's voting for. Mariann said she never says but she'll tell him that she's voting for Biden. She said she wants to protect Ronnie in her way but she's not going to vote for Trump. She said that at the last debate Biden said he wants to try to unify the country. She said there won't be a place to worry about if this keeps up. Howard said he wants a world for his children.
Howard said that people ask him about why he won't vote for Trump. He said he was his buddy. He said that when it comes to policy he's not that different. He said he thinks we're over taxed and things like that. He said he's very pro gun rights. Mariann said she's for the police and so is he. Howard said that's not his problem. He said that Trump fires everyone and he only sticks with people who are loyal to him and he won't disavow these hate groups. He said that he sees that Australia is doing well at getting rid of this COVID thing and this administration is just throwing their hands up. He said this isn't America. He said that we have scientists and enough money to do this.
Mariann interrupted and said that he should have made masks mandatory. Howard said that he has to finish his thought. He said that he thinks about the first act of taking us out of the Paris accords and all of that. He said it's a complete fuck you to the world. He said that we're using up the planet now and he's like who cares. He said the disdain for science is crazy.
Howard said he's never been a democrat or republican. He said he's more conservative in his thinking but this is crazy. He said that the lies that come out of this administration are crazy. He said that it's too bizarre. He said our country is going downhill because we're not even fighting back against the pandemic. He said this it's how you do things. Howard said there are things he agrees on with Donald but it's the lackadaisical attitude that he can't take.
Howard said he doesn't hate Donald but he doesn't think he should be president. He said that he doesn't like all of this secrecy. He said he has to tell us what's on his tax returns. He said people are buying into his bullshit. He said this isn't where his head is at. He said that if he was on his side he'd be at the White House every week. He said that he has to vote the way he's voting.
Mariann said that the way Chris and Ralph are hounding Ronnie is wrong. She said that you can't demand to know the way he's voting. Howard said Ronnie is fine and this is shtick. He said it's radio. Mariann asked why she's spilling her guts on the radio. Howard said Ronnie knows that he has to do it for the show. He said that's what he thinks.
Mariann said that she wants everyone to feel accepted. She said that she takes care of all of her neighbors and all of that. Howard hung up on her in the middle of her rant.
Howard said a lot of people are writing in about Ronnie. He said he has the President on the phone too. He said he's very upset with him.
Howard said Robin's headphones aren't working so he's going to take a break so they can fix that. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he has talked to Ronnie and he knows it's a radio show so he's fine. He said that he thinks he does anyway. He said he knows he gets worked up but he thinks he's okay.
Howard read some feedback about Ronnie and his going to Vegas story. Howard said Ronnie was going there either way. He said Ronnie is bummed out being in quarantine. He said he had big plans and he's later in life so he got out to Vegas to get his plans moving. He said that Jason, Chris and Ralph didn't have any effect on that.
Howard said that Ronnie is fine. He said everyone is writing in about him though. He took a call from a guy who said that the reason Ronnie isn't saying who he's voting for is because his buddies are going to drop him if he says he's not voting for Trump. He said he has to keep them to live the lifestyle he's living. Howard said he might be right. He said he has the feeling that he has a lot of pressure on him. He said he doesn't care if he wants to tell them who he's voting for. He said he used to tell them everything. He said it's all so silly. He said this is a radio show.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Robin about what Ronnie was saying about King of All Blacks yesterday. He said that Robin asked who he is and who his people are. He said that Robin said that his people are the people that he calls the N-word. He said all he wanted to say is that he's another N-word who wants to be white. He said that he didn't have the balls to say that. He said Robin had a tone like she knew what he was going to say but she didn't push it. He said he thought that's where Ronnie was headed. Robin said she didn't think that was the case. She said that some people think that skin color makes a people though.
Howard asked Ronnie if he has any thoughts on this. Ronnie said he doesn't know. The caller said he knows who King is. He said that he'll tell him that he's an arrogant asshole. Howard said he has King on the line. He asked the caller, Fred, if he wants to talk to him. Fred said no but Howard put him on anyway.
Howard put King on with Fred and King told him to talk to him. Fred said Ronnie thinks that Ghetto is black. Ronnie said he never said that. Fred said that King is just arrogant. He said that he's not ghetto. Howard said he's not sure what he's saying. He said he thought they were going to find out who King is.
Fred said that he thinks that Ronnie wanted to say that King was just another N-word who wants to be white. Howard asked King if he understands that. King said he does. Fred said he's saying that he's an arrogant asshole. King said something about Fred probably eating grits. Fred said that's why he's an asshole. King said he can picture him eating that stuff. Howard asked what that says about him. King laughed.
King said that what Ronnie meant to say yesterday about him insulting his people was him trying to put them all in the same boat. Ronnie said he was speaking to his race. King asked why he can't just be Lawrence or King and not speak for black people. He said that's racist but he's not saying that Ronnie is racist. He said he just sounds racist. Howard said he doesn't want to get into this again with Ronnie.
Howard asked Ronnie if he's okay. Ronnie said that the statements they're saying about him not having friends in Vegas doesn't make sense. Howard said he did say that could be the case. Ronnie said he's said it in the past. Howard said it could very well be. Ronnie said his friends don't care who he's voting for. He said they don't ask him.
Howard asked what changed between 2016 and now that made him stop talking about this stuff. Howard said something changed. He said the only thing that changed is that he's moving to Vegas. Ronnie said he was targeted in this whole thing. He said there are people who voted for Trump in 2016 and they won't say who they're voting for now. Ronnie said he's not voting just like Sal. Gary asked why he won't say who he's talking about and they'll talk to them. Ronnie told Gary to get off this shit and close his camera. Gary said they think something else is going on because he won't give them an answer. He said when he gets wound up they wonder why that is. Ronnie told him not to wonder. He said just wonder about his own family.
Howard said Ronnie wants him to wonder about other things than him. Ronnie said that's right. He said he doesn't care about what they think.
King wanted to ask Ronnie a question but Ronnie said he won't answer him. King said he doesn't understand him. He said he used to come in there and he'd wand him twice. Ronnie said maybe he was breaking his balls like he does to everyone else. He said that he has to bring that into this. He said it's not a black thing. He said he saw him do it just once to another person. Ronnie said he was breaking his balls. King said he doesn't think he's racist and he'd never say he does. He said that he just wonders why he does these things.
King said that he could be breaking balls now by not saying who he's voting for. Howard said he thinks that's what it is. Ronnie said it's principle at this point. He said he doesn't want to talk to this idiot. King said he's not an idiot. He said he's very intelligent. Ronnie said in his own mind he is.
King wanted to give Ronnie some advice on his house in Vegas. Howard asked what the advice is. King said that he has to make sure the workers are Hispanic. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said he has to sum this up. He said this is going on way too long. He said that he's not sure where this thing took a left turn. He said just like in the beginning he asked who people are voting for. He said he was fine with Ronnie being undecided. He said he didn't think he was but he was okay with him not saying who he was voting for. He said he felt he had made a decision already though. He said then he said he made a decision but he wasn't going to say what it was. He said he went berserk when grey asked him about it. He said in the past he didn't care. He said he was just curious. Ronnie said he's allowed to be curious.
Howard said he's just asking a question. He asked what changed between 2016 and now. Ronnie said nothing changed. Howard said something changed. He said something must have happened to change his mind about talking about this stuff. Ronnie said maybe it did and maybe he doesn't want to tell anyone. Howard said that's fine. He said that's an answer then. He said something happened that made him want to keep quiet. Ronnie said he's not answering that question. Robin said it's interesting what he won't answer.
Howard said something bad must have happened to him. He said he's sorry. He said when that shit got impacted something affected him. Ronnie said maybe it did.
Howard said tomorrow is Ronnie's birthday. Ronnie thanked him for the card. He said last year he got a great birthday present. He said it made it just in time before COVID. Howard said it was a big birthday so he gave him something nice. He said that he's not sure what's going on with Ronnie. He said he doesn't get to see him every day.
Howard said Mariann is pissed off at him. He took the call from her and she went off on him about Ronnie. She said that he doesn't want to say who he's voting for. Howard said it's supposition. He said something happened. He said Ronnie could say that too. He said that he just asked what happened. Mariann said that she's saying it for him. Howard said she's not him and she doesn't know what happened to him. He said that she's not allowed to be mad at him.
Mariann said don't hang up on her. She said she gave King of All Blacks time. Howard said oh no. Mariann said she didn't sleep last night because of this stuff with Ronnie. Fred played music over her and played a song parody about getting her off the phone.
Howard said what a song. He said happy birthday to Ronnie. He said they should leave him alone. He said he did a sex test on some dildos so he'll be back to talking about that stuff next week. He said that's his comfort zone. Ronnie said it relaxes him. Howard said maybe they'll do that tomorrow.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's not surprised that he's probably voting for Trump. He said he was yelling ''kike'' on the Zoom happy hour a few months ago. Howard said no he wasn't. He said ''kite'' and it wasn't ''kike.'' Howard said it's enough about Ronnie.
Howard got back to the fan feedback and read more about Ronnie. He said some fans were upset with Ronnie telling Chris Wilding to go back to his own country. He said that showed a lot to some people. Ronnie said he's not his friend. Howard read some feedback about that and people were saying that showed his true colors. Ronnie said he doesn't have to listen to someone who can't even vote about who he should be voting for.
Howard said it seems like the majority of the listeners enjoy hearing Ronnie get worked up. He read some feedback about that. He said the fans are really enjoying that. He said someone said they could listen to a whole show of him just yelling. Howard said he could do that with Chris and Ralph back on the phone.
Howard said the election is just one week away. He said the song parodies keep rolling in too. He played a song parody about Ronnie not knowing which way he's voting.
Howard said that he could get Chris Wilding back on the line or Mike Fox to get Ronnie going. Howard said Ronnie feels like Chris has turned on him somehow. Ronnie said he did say that he's not his friend if he doesn't vote for Biden. He said that he can't even vote but he won't be his friend if he doesn't vote.
Howard got Chris on the line but his microphone sounded weird. Chris said that Ronnie did introduce someone to help him renew his visa but the reason he might get kicked out is because of a certain person. He said Ronnie knows that. He said that he's trying to get him to realize that his vote has consequences. He said that he should do the right thing and that hurts him when he tells him to go back to his country. He said he's sure he said that out of emotion but there's a lot at stake with him and for a lot of people in the same position.
Howard asked if Ronnie wants to apologize. Ronnie said no. Chris said that only one person really helped him and that was Howard Stern. He said don't take credit for that. Ronnie said he's not. He said that Howard has helped him a lot too. He said he didn't come on here bragging about it. He said that he can call Howard personally and talk to him. Chris said he can call Robin any time he wants. Chris and Ronnie went back and forth about that for a few minutes.
Howard got Ralph on the line and he said he wasn't trying to get Ronnie to yell. He said he's getting sick of Mariann and Ronnie saying this is bullying. He said that's such a victim thing. He said that the whole show is based on bullying. He said that Ronnie has bullied people too. He said he could pull a lot of tape of that. He said Ronnie just learned that last week. He told Ronnie to say who he's voting for you pussy. Ronnie told him to go fuck himself.
Ralph said that this election is very important. He asked if he realizes that. Ronnie said he does. Ralph asked why he has such a hard time saying who he's voting for. Ronnie said Ralph knows everything.
Howard said that he could do a whole show of Ronnie yelling. He said everyone is manipulatable. He said he has it all under control. He said that Ronnie's birthday is tomorrow and he'll be in with a dildo report soon.
Howard asked Ronnie Puppet who he's voting for. Ronnie puppet said he's not talking. He said it's no one's business.
Howard asked what his plan is for this COVID thing. Trump said it's a great success because we're in first place with everything to do with it. He said he has many charts and graphs. He said we're doing fantastic. He said it has many, many colors.
Howard asked Trump about the record number of cases we have. Trump said he loves breaking records. He said the numbers are rounding the corner and coming back around to where we were. He said that the numbers are in the shape of a V like vagina.
Howard asked if he's tested every day for COVID. Trump said he is tested every day and he tests well according to the doctors. He said he's the best tester.
Howard asked if he regrets calling Dr. Fauci an idiot. Trump said that's a term of endearment.
Howard asked if they're going to have a vaccine in the next few weeks. Trump said that they're going to have everything by November 4th. He said people will be begging him to stay.
Howard asked why he walked out of that interview on 60 Minutes. Trump said it's sad when these old broken down broads are begging for attention. He said that she was coming on to him and he had to walk off. He said he could see things that you can't see. He said she was unbuttoning that blouse and she had no underwear on. He said that she has a grey bush so that's a boner killer.
Howard asked what kind of question is ''nice'' for him. Trump said that she was asking very unfair questions. He said everyone asks him tough questions. He said that she could ask him what it's like being smarter than all the scientists. He said she could ask him what it's like having a giant cock.
Howard asked Trump what he thinks about Joe Biden. Trump talked about what a liar he is and how he lies about lying. He said that no one should lie about lying. Howard asked what crime he committed that he was talking about. Trump said that he knows the crimes and so does Howard. He said he knows that Howard knows that he knows what they are. Howard said he doesn't know what they are. Trump said he's not sure where to start. He said it's just been going on so long that it's a shame and a sham. He said Joe Biden is a criminal mastermind. He said the crimes are so obvious and vicious.
Howard thanked Trump for coming on and talking to them. Howard said he was in full makeup today. Robin said she loves it. She said it's amazing.
Howard said what a jam packed morning so far. He said he should give a plug to their Donald Trump guy there. He said that's John Di Domenico. He said he thinks he said his name right there. Robin said he sounds exactly like the President. He said he's on Cameo doing messages for people.
Howard said there's a guy on Cameo who does a puppet thing with Trump and makes messages for $36. He played an example of his work. Howard said John costs $200. He said you can get a message from Mike Pence's head to leave you a message. He said that it's crazy what people are getting paid to do on there. Howard asked if they show how much they make. JD said that he's not sure how to look that up. He said that guy has 5 star reviews. He said he has at least 34 videos. Howard said if he did that he'd write his own reviews. He asked who's going to know. Howard had JD read some of the reviews. They were glowing reviews. Robin said he definitely wrote those. Howard played more of the Fly clip. He said that people must be freaking out that Trump could lose the election. Robin said the impression has to go if he loses. JD said he's not going anywhere.
Howard played another Trump impersonator doing his thing and he sounded more like Regis to Howard. He said that was $85. Howard played another one and the guy sounded okay. He said it's a very competitive business. He said there are full priced Trump and budget Trump. JD said there are some guys who get into makeup and some who don't try so hard. Howard said he might get Robin one of those for Christmas.
Howard said there was a guy on the internet who does Trump. He said he thought this guy was really good. He said he does a whole thing where Trump talks about Weird Al Yankovic. He played that and said the guy's name is James Austin Johnson. He said he thought that was really funny. In the clip the guy had Trump talking about how he's not sure how the accordion works but Weird Al figured it out. He said even scientists don't know how it works.
Howard said he thought that guy was really funny. Robin said it was. She liked some of his lines about how the accordion works. Robin said a lot of people will be out of work if he leaves office.
Howard said they have a game to play about who the Wack Pack is voting for. He asked who Robin thinks Medicated Pete is voting for. Robin said she thinks he's a Biden guy. Howard played Pete's answer which was Trump because he's a businessman and he knows he wants to do right for the country as far as business goes. Pete also said that he likes Trump because he likes women.
Howard asked who Debbie the Cum Lady is voting for. Robin said Pete just threw her so she's not sure. Robin said she's going to say that since she's in Florida she's a Trump person too. Debbie said Trump as well. She said that he has helped with unemployment and he's making great deals with other countries and she's all for the wall. She said he doesn't take shit from anyone. She said he's not a bullshit artist like politicians.
Howard asked Robin who Tan Mom is voting for. Robin said she thinks Biden. She said that she thinks that there is a liberal in there. Howard played her clip and Tan Mom said she's undecided. She didn't even know how to pronounce Biden. She said ''Beh-Dan.'' Howard said she is just the greatest. He asked how you don't know how to say Biden.
Howard asked Robin about Ham Hands Bill. Robin said she's going to say he has to be voting for Biden. Howard asked why that is. Robin said pre-existing conditions. Howard played Bill's answer and he said that he's voting for Biden. He said that he wants to sniff Melania's panties though.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie would admit to who he's voting for if Ralph admitted he's gay. Howard said he thinks Ronnie would. He told the guys to get Ralph on the phone so this guy can pose his question to him. Howard asked Ronnie if he would do that. Ronnie said he would have to think about that. Howard said it moved the needle. Howard said you have to admit that's enticing. Ronnie said he would think about it for sure.
Howard said he's not sure what Ralph is. He said that everyone would forget who Ronnie is voting for if Ralph did that. Howard said suddenly Ralph has disappeared. Robin said he ran into the closet. Howard said if he gets a hold of Ralph he'll ask for Doug the caller. Howard said one of the guys said Ralph is busy blowing a guy so he can't come to the phone. Howard said there is much conjecture about Ralph's sexuality.
Howard said they'll get back to the game. He asked Robin who she thinks Jeff the Drunk is voting for. Robin said she thinks that it's Biden. Howard played Jeff's answer which was Biden. Jeff said fuck Trump. He said he's a douche bag who is ruining the country with all of his bullshit. He said he's not going Willie Nillie like he's from the wild west like Trump.
Howard said here's another one of Robin's boyfriends. He said Mark the Bagger is next. Howard said he seemed to make up his mind while they were on the phone with him. Robin said she thinks he's a Trump guy. Howard played Mark's answer which was 50/50 but he thinks he's going with not Trump but the other one. He said he has heard things about Trump. He said that he's hearing good things about Biden. He said he thinks he'd go for Biden. Howard said this is a guy who jerks off all day on his own carpet.
Howard said Ralph is on the line now. He asked Ralph if he would reveal that he's gay if Ronnie would say who he's voting for. Ralph said that it is important for Ronnie to tell them who he's voting for and take a stand. Howard said he has to be real here. Ralph said he's willing to do it. Howard asked if he will tell people about his sexuality. Ralph said yes. He asked who Ronnie is voting for. Ronnie said he's laughing and saying he'll be honest. Ralph said it is sort of ridiculous. He was laughing.
Howard took a call from a guy who said listening to this arguing about politics is super disheartening. He said he's an E.R. doctor and it gives him hope to hear that they are coming together over Ralph's sexuality. Howard said this is big. He said Ronnie should do it. Ronnie said he's not doing it. Howard said he's mad at him now. Ronnie said alright.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Ralph is definitely gay. He said they can get that out of the way. He said the problem with this is that Jeff the Drunk is the only one making sense.
Howard said they're off the subject. He said Ralph is saying that he will talk about his sexuality if Ronnie says who he's voting for. Ralph said he's been bullied for many years about this. He said they made him take lie detector tests. Howard said Ronnie has to do this. Ronnie said he's not doing it. He said Ralph won't go first. Howard said he will go first. Ralph said he doesn't have to go first. Ronnie said he can be gay because that's his right. He said it's his right not to say who he's voting for.
Ralph said that Ronnie has to vote for Joe Biden and that's it. Robin said you can't tell someone who to vote for. Howard said if Ronnie says he's voting for Joe Biden he'll answer if he's straight or gay. Ralph said for real he will. Ronnie said if he says he's straight then there's no question about it after. Howard said he'll take that. Ronnie said he's not accomplishing anything here.
Gary said if they're going to do this he would like Ralph to give his definition of gay first. Howard said that's a good question. Gary asked if having a dick in your mouth is gay. Ralph asked if that makes you gay. Howard said he has to give up on these two.
Ralph said he thinks this is something they talk more about tomorrow. He said Ronnie may have to think about this more. Ralph said he'll do this if Ronnie votes for Biden. Howard asked Ronnie to please vote for Biden.
Robin asked if Ralph will tell them about his sex life. Ralph said he'll answer the question he was asked. Ronnie said that he has to talk about all the cocks he's sucked and all of that. Ralph laughed.
Howard said Ralph has no choice. He said he has to do this. Ronnie said he's not going to talk about that stuff. Ralph said it's obvious that he's voting for Trump because of the way he's reacting to this. Robin said that's not the issue here.
Ralph said he thinks that Ronnie has been exposed as a Trump supporter by all of this. Robin asked what his definition of gay is. Ralph said it's being with a man sexually. Howard asked if you're gay if you've been with a man sexually. Ralph said he wouldn't say that.
Gary asked if you're in a threesome and the other guy starts jerking you off is that gay. Ralph said of course it is. He said that act is gay. He said that doesn't mean the guy is gay. Robin said there can be gay acts. Ronnie asked what about if a guy fucks you in the ass while you're eating a chick out. Ralph said that Ronnie likes to have a cock in his ass. Ronnie said it's not a real cock. Ralph said keep telling yourself that. Ronnie said he enjoys it with her. Howard said he thinks it's different if it's a guy's real dick.
Howard read the definition from a dictionary. Ronnie said a rubber cock is not that. Howard said that's right.
Robin asked if Ralph about the definition and he was saying that if you do something that's bisexual how do you define that. Howard said that's gay. He said if you have sex with a man then you're gay. Ralph said you don't have to say what sex is but okay. Howard said that you're gay if you've been with a man even if you've been with women.
Gary asked if you've done a gay act twice in your life but mostly been with women are you gay. Ralph asked Gary if he has done that. Gary said they can hook him up to the lie detector if they want. Ralph said Ed Torian is really reliable.
Howard asked if you've done 5 gay acts then you're gay. He said that's the way they'll go. Howard asked Ronnie if that's right. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said he'd say if you're with men mostly then maybe you're gay. Howard said maybe it's 3 strikes and you're gay.
Ralph said this is all bullying. Howard said he's just saying that because that's what Ronnie is saying. Howard said if you've done 7 gay acts then you're super gay.
Howard said Ronnie could go down in show history if he does this. He said it would be fun to get this admission. Howard took a call from a guy who said they all know that Ralph is bisexual at least. He said that Ronnie has done so much for the show but he's benefited from the show too. He said that this could benefit the country by swaying the vote. Ralph said that Ronnie is one of the dummies voting for Trump.
Howard said he thinks the caller is saying he used to put the show first but now he's being selfish. The caller said he's enjoying life because of the show and he's not embracing this. He said he knows Ronnie knows this.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks they need to ask Ralph if he's ever performed a sex act with a man instead of asking if he's gay. Howard said he's right. He said that Ronnie should just vote for Biden and he'll get this answer out of Ralph. Ralph said he's the one giving up something. He said Ronnie isn't giving up shit. He said he's the one who should be asking for more.
Howard said Josh the caller figured it out. He said they should ask if he has had a sex act with a man. Josh said that's what everyone wants to know. Robin asked what Ralph's pronoun is. Ralph said it's ''He'' and don't start in with that bullshit.
Howard said they should be asking if Ralph has ever had a penis in his mouth. Robin said that or if he's ever had his penis in a man's mouth. Ralph said he's hearing too many questions for Ralph.
Howard said that they have 3 questions for Ralph. Ralph said he has just one question to answer. He said he's not getting into specifics. Howard said he has to find out if he's been with a man. He asked if he has ever made out with a dude, had a penis in his mouth or... Ralph asked why they have to get into specifics. He said that Ronnie has to stand up and do the right thing by voting for Biden. Howard said they have to ask if he has ever had sex with a man. Ralph said he would answer that if Ronnie will say he's voting for Biden. Ralph said he's not getting specific about anything. He said they're assuming there is something to get specific about. He said that's all what they think.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this is more of an old person thing. He said they don't talk about who they're voting for. Howard said was old in 2016. He said he admitted it back then. The caller said that he thinks he's being patriotic.
Howard said Joe Biden is on the phone and he wants to hear Ronnie's answer because he wants to know about Ralph. Howard got Biden on the line and he said they have to hear stories from Ralph about licking balls and touching cock.
Howard said that he has to know the answer. He said that Ralph has always said he's straight. He said that most people tell him he's lying. He said even Beth says he's lying. He said he wants to know if he's had a dick in his ass. Ronnie laughed. Howard asked if Ronnie wants to know. Ronnie laughed. Howard said all he has to do is vote for Biden. He said it's awfully tempting. Howard said Ralph has to answer some questions. Ralph said he's just listening. Robin said he was so bold but now he's backing off. Ralph said they're blowing it. He said he was going to answer honestly but they're going too far. He said he's not a stupid retard like Ronnie. He said Ronnie knows nothing. Ronnie said here we go again. Howard said he's not sure how to get this done. Robin said he's clammed up again. She said it was so important but now it's not. She said it might cost hi something. Ralph told her to stop it. Howard said he has to answer 3 questions. He said he has to find out if he's been with a man sexually, if he's blown a guy and if he's had a dick in his ass. Ralph laughed. Howard said he has to answer honestly.
Howard said he wants to know if he's had a penis in his mouth. Ralph said he was writing all of these down. Howard said this is very exciting. He said all Ronnie has to do is vote for Biden. Ralph said he has to be adamant about it too. He said he can't say he was forced to do it for the show.
Howard asked Ronnie what he thinks. Ronnie asked what the question is. Howard asked what he's talking about. He asked if he'd down for this. Ronnie said he has to think about it. Howard asked if he wants the night to think about it. Ronnie said yes and he thinks Ralph needs a night to think about it too. He said he might need more than a night.
Ralph said if he re-signs then he'll answer all of these and more on January 1st. Robin said they're never on the air on January 1st. Howard said he has been thinking about hanging it up for real. He said he's just been disgusted. He said that he would almost think about doing it for that. Ralph said he doesn't think he should do another 5 years. Howard said he's probably right. Howard asked if he wants to check with his boyfriend first. Ralph asked who, Chris? Howard asked if Ronnie thinks Chris has ever fucked Ralph in the ass. Ronnie said no. He said he thinks Chris is very picky.
Howard asked Chris Wilding if he thinks that he kind of wants to see Ralph's penis after what he said about it looking nice in the prettiest penis contest. Chris said that he thinks that it would be nice if he was gay because he doesn't really have any gay friends. He said he does know some stories about Ralph but those are his to tell.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Ralph is claiming to be intelligent and all of that but he won't answer about being gay or not. She said there's a lot of sexual tension there.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he will put all his money on Ralph not being gay. Robin said they have a contest now. Howard said they should have betting before this. King said he doesn't think that Ronnie has to vote for Biden, he should just say who he's voting for. Howard said King doesn't get it.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks that Ralph is straight. He took a call from Wendy the Slow Adult clips. The guys had Wendy saying yes when Howard asked if she thinks he's straight.
Howard said if Ralph was gay he'd be on a float in the gay parade. He said he believes he'd be one of the leaders of the gay parade. Ralph said he'd be super fruity. Chris said Ralph does know where all the gay bars are in Jersey City. He said he didn't know they even had one.
Hard said he's not sure where they are with this. He said he doesn't want to spend the rest of the show on this. He said he'll give them 5 minutes to give their answer on tomorrow's show. Howard said Ronnie has to take one for the team and vote for Biden. He said Ralph will admit if he's done gay stuff. Ronnie said he never said he would do that. Ralph told him he's a dope.
Howard said that they have to think about this and give their answers tomorrow. Howard said Ralph will reveal if he's been with a man, had a penis in his mouth or if he's put his penis in a man or had a penis in his ass. He said Ronnie just has to vote for Biden.
Howard said Ronnie has to admit it's enticing. Ronnie said he admits that. Chris said that Ronnie has nothing to lose. Ralph said he knows that Ronnie is going to go look at Twitter and what his followers are saying. Ronnie said he's not even sure if Ralph is answering honestly. Chris said they're putting them both on the honor system. Howard said they both have to think about this.
Howard asked Chris what Ralph has to lose in this. Chris said that people will think of him differently. He said that if he's gone this long in the closet then it's a big deal. Ralph said Chris makes a lot of good points. Ronnie said he's Mr. Dramatics. Ralph said he's a real friend unlike Ronnie. Ronnie said he has no problem with him not being his friend. Ralph said he just said if he votes for Trump he's not his friend. Ronnie said that's right.
Howard said that only 6 percent of the staff voted that Ralph is straight. He said 62 percent say he's bisexual. Chris said that there is something called the Kinsey Scale and Ralph might be in the middle of that. He said for the most part if you're doing sexual acts with men then you're more inclined to be gay. He said maybe you don't want to admit it. He said he used to struggle with that. Howard asked if that was when he was 3. Chris said that he'd see Charles Nelson Riley and think he can't be that.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Ralph has so much anger and it has to be because of this closeted thing. Ralph told her to have more COVID parties. Mariann said everyone was tested for that party. Ralph said she's a super spreader. Mariann and Ralph went back and forth arguing about that. Ralph told her to stop yelling. He said she had a COVID party. He said it was a big party in the middle of COVID so that's irresponsible.
Howard said he had a friend who had a party and they were all tested but you can get COVID between the testing and the party. He said it's not safe. Ralph said she had a huge party at her house. Chris said that it was a Sopranos party. Howard said he wants to hear more about this. He told Mariann to call back.
Howard said he hasn't even figured out how the Wack Pack is voting. He said he's waiting for Mariann to call back. He said he has to hear more about this party. Gary said they're dialing her up right now.
Howard got Mariann back on the phone and asked her about the party and if it's true. Mariann said she spoke to Dr. Agus about this party. She said that everyone there was tested. She said that they had doctors in the house. She said she set up a big table. She asked if they're spying on her. Ralph said that she had pictures on Instagram. Chris said that he sent it to Ralph.
Howard said he has to ask a question. He asked if someone gets tested it takes a day or two to get the results. Mariann said she has anguish over it. She said that she texted Dr. Agus about it and she did what he recommended. She said that in 14 days she'll be responsible for it and she'll kill herself if something happens. She admits that she made an error. She told Ralph to admit he's gay. Ralph went off on her for doing the wrong thing and not having masks on the people at the party. He said it wasn't a mistake. He said she planned out a party to fucking kill people and that's the reality. He said people are dying and she's having a party. He said stay home. Mariann said she did make a mistake and she admits it. She said she'll take that. She said treat people with more respect when you talk about politics. Ralph told her to stop it with the bulling crap. He asked if she listens to the show.
Chris said that Mariann had to text Dr. ''Haggis'' about her Sopranos party. Ralph said you had to see the party. He said it was like HBO threw it. He said that Joey G was there. Howard asked how that happened. Gary said he thinks this is his business now and he goes to your house to cook and he thinks that she hired him. Howard said wow. He said that's a dangerous thing to have these parties. He said Mariann isn't the only one doing it though.
Howard said he wouldn't go to a party like that. Ralph asked who is dumber, Mariann or the people who showed up to the party. He laughed as he said that.
Howard said that Chris said that it's tough to come out of the closet. Robin said most people are uncomfortable in the closet. Chris said that he won't have to change much if he comes out. Howard said that being gay is a difficult life. He said you put yourself out there as being out of the norm and people judge you. He said it's a tough decision. Howard said Chris has said it's painful to live in the closet. He said Ralph is willing to answer 3 questions and maybe more if Ronnie says he'll vote for Biden. Chris said it's like a gay Genie, just rub it and see what comes out.
Howard said he'll ask Ralph about the penis in his mouth and in his ass. He said that he says he'll answer honestly.
Howard said they will hear the greatest moment in radio history if Ronnie wants to do this. He said he holds a great power in his hands. Ralph said that he might have to re-sign to get more answers out of him. Howard said he would consider that if he will give more. He said this is a Cocktober miracle. Robin said this is the most exciting Cocktober ever. Howard asked if Chris would be proud to have Ralph in his club. Chris said he would be brave and proud. Ralph asked if they can go to the gay bar. Chris said it never stopped them before. He said they went there once together. Ralph said that never happened.
Howard asked if Ronnie would give this serious consideration. Ronnie asked why he has to vote for Biden. Howard said this will get all of the answers out of Ralph. Ralph asked if he has heard the show for the past hour and a half. He called him an idiot.
Howard asked Ronnie what his thought is on all of this. He said it all hinges on him. Ralph said he has to think about this too. Ronnie said he'll think about it too. He said that's it.
Howard said he has to tell him something. He said he thinks even Trump would support him voting for Biden just to find out what Ralph has done. Ralph said he thinks Ronnie will agree to it tomorrow. He said everyone on Twitter will tell him what to do so he'll listen to them. He said he doesn't think for himself. Ronnie said alright. Howard said they'll find out tomorrow. He said this is what goes on during Cocktober.
Howard said this is going to be huge tomorrow. He took a call from a woman who said she's team Ralph. She said that whole thing with Mariann is why the virus is spreading. Howard said she's making a good point. He said that if we're going to beat the virus we need leadership and we need to have guidelines. He said we can get it under control here if we have leadership. He said you can't just throw your hands up in the air and give up. He said we need testing. He said if we all have to hunker down then you all do it. Ralph said you need the president to talk to the stupid people. He said Mariann is the stupid people. He said she had a super spreader event at her house.
The caller said she's not sure why people have to be so comfortable. She said they can't wait a year. Howard said he was watching the Vice President talking about how he was exposed to COVID and he was talking about how he's going to celebrate Thanksgiving because it's his favorite holiday. Howard said this is a pandemic. He said he wants to see his kids at Thanksgiving but he's not going to have a big party. Ralph said he hasn't seen his parents in almost a year. He said his mother is sick and he can't see her because of these fucking idiots. The caller said he's right.
Ralph said he has neighbors how have dinner parties and he wants to drop a bomb on them. He said it's a world of fucking idiots.
Howard asked if Ralph is mad at Ronnie for flying to Vegas to buy a house. Ralph said it's disgusting. He said people think in their area that it's okay but it's not. He said wherever the fuck you are is not safe. He said we're in for hell in winter. He said one thing he's happy about is that 99 percent of the people in Jersey City are wearing masks. He said that's the one good thing. He said just order in from restaurants. He said we'd be done with it if people did these things.
Howard said that Ralph has a big decision to make. Ralph said he's in the club according to Chris.
Howard asked if they're all watching The Vow on HBO. He said that it's kind of tedious but it's interesting. He said that it's weird because his mind goes to these morons who follow this leader of this cult. He said the guy makes no sense at all but these people are studying manuals of what he says and all of this shit. He said the women go and brand each other with the cult leader's initials. He said he's not sure the guy should go to jail for that. He said he's not sure what's going on in that cult. He asked if they're doing illegal stuff. Robin said there is something about the way they're handling money and sex trafficking too. Chris said they're blackmailing people too.
Gary said the guy is being sentenced today and there's a lot of stuff that he did that's not talked about in the special. Robin said one of the girls was talking about something she did to punish herself and Catherine Oxenberg burst out laughing. Howard said the documentary didn't do a good job documenting what the guy is on trial for. Robin said they made it before he was convicted so grey couldn't say exactly what happened.
Howard said he was confused by the end of the thing about what the guy was doing wrong. Gary said he noticed the guy never says 'I don't know.'' He said he has an answer for anything. Howard said you can't lead a cult and not have an answer. Robin said he never put anything in his own name. She said that he owned tons of buildings and businesses and he didn't have his name on any of it.
Jon Hein said they have a special called Seduced on Starz and you hear from India Oxenberg what happened when she was inside. He said that they get more graphic explanations in that one. He said he's really interested in that and also in finding out if Ralph is gay or not.
Jon said that he thinks that Ralph will tell the truth and Ronnie should just vote for Biden because he's going to win New York anyway. Howard asked where his money would go on the penis in his mouth question. Jon said he think that's a ''No'' but he thinks he has explored and he is fluid. He said that he may have done other things with a penis. He said he thinks he has measured one and maybe released one. Howard said he thinks he jerked a guy off but didn't blow one. Jon said he thinks so. He said that he may have been involved with a man in a sexual situation too. Howard said he talks about this like a doctor.
Jon said he thinks that Ronnie wants the answers as well. He said Ronnie should vote for Biden and just get it done so they can find out about Ralph. Howard asked if Ronnie has voted yet. Ronnie said no. Howard asked what Ronnie thinks about what Jon just said. Ronnie said that was logical. Howard said he thinks it's interesting that he thinks that Ralph hasn't blown a guy but he has jerked one off. Jon said he thinks that might be Ralph's line.
Chris said he found it interesting that Jon has Ralph measuring penises in his theory. Howard asked why he would be measuring a penis. He said that's like a summer camp thing. Howard said he thinks that Ralph would be taking it in his mouth and putting it in his ass if he did anything gay. He said that Ronnie must agree. Ronnie said that he might not be doing all of that.
Howard asked if Ronnie is having a hard time with this. Ronnie said sometimes not all people are into giving blow jobs. He said that he thinks Ralph has dabbled.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they sound like the biggest group of people who have never had sex with men ever. Chris said he disagrees. The caller said he is gay and he has had sex with many straight men and women. He said he believes that many of the straight men weren't completely straight and they went on to be married. He said that he loves Chris but the fact that he completely discounts the bisexual community... Chris said he doesn't discount it. He said that it is a thing that exists.
Ralph asked if they think that a woman who has a sexual experience with another woman, does that make her a lesbian. Howard said yes. He said he knew a person who went on to marry a man after living with a woman for years. He said that she went on to have kids with this man. He said that maybe she's bisexual. Ralph said he's very clear with a man. Howard said if he asks Ralph and he says he sucked dick then he's going to ask if he had a dick in his ass. He said he might say yes. He said if he says yes to all of that then he would say he's gay. Ralph said that would sound pretty gay.
Robin asked if he's going to be one of those guys who says he loves who he loves. Ralph said that's not the question. He said save it for tomorrow. Howard said this is a very important thing. He said he hopes that Ronnie takes it into consideration. Howard asked if he understands how important this is. Ronnie said not really. He said people have already guessed what's gone on with Ralph. He asked who cares. Howard asked if he really doesn't care. Ronnie said he doesn't care. He said he's not Jon Hein. He doesn't give a fuck.
Howard took a call from Apples who told Ronnie to do it for everyone. He asked if Ralph is afraid he's too old to come out. He said he's a little too long in the tooth these days. Chris said he's no Twink. Ralph laughed.
Howard asked Chris if he's turned off to Ralph because of his age. Chris said no. He said he's not turned off to Ralph. He said he considers him a friend in a brotherly way. Howard said he thinks of Ralph as a young man but could he be rejected by the gay community. Chris said oh no. He said that there's room for everyone in that rainbow.
Howard asked if Chris has dated anyone as old as Ralph. Chris said he went with a 44 year old. He said Ralph will have no problem finding anyone though.
Howard said he wants to find out the answers to all of this tomorrow. Ronnie asked who gives a shit. Robin said she's not sure where he is these days. Chris said he used to be fun. Howard said he's depressed. Ronnie said he's having fun but he doesn't give a shit.
Howard said the world is counting on Ronnie. He said Ralph has to think about it too. He thanked Ralph for calling in. He said Ronnie is thinking about this. He said that's where they're at. Ralph said don't forget that Mariann had a super spreader event. He said that was very irresponsible.
Howard thanked Chris for talking to them about all of this. Chris told Ralph to send him his cock so he can see what's going on there. Howard said all of this cock talk has made him hungry. He got in a plug for Gardein who sponsored the show today.
Howard said they have more Wack Pack voting. He asked about Marfan Mike. Robin said she thinks that it's Trump. Howard played Mike's answer and it was trump. Howard said what a show. He said he's exhausted. Robin said it was quite a ride today. Howard said there was a lot of fighting today. He said it was almost a whole show of fighting. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:20am.
Robin said they have a lot of knowledgeable people on SiriusXM. Howard said they should give Tom his own air shift. Robin said maybe he doesn't want that. Howard said Lithium is channel 34 on SiriusXM.
Howard said they have a busy show today. He said there's a lot going on. He said he just had a half hour meeting about it. He said he's kind of obsessed with that NXIVM cult leader. He said that's the special he's been watching called The Vow. He said it was 8 or 9 hours of that stuff and they did a really shitty job showing what that guy Keith Raniere did. He said that was pretty much the special and you didn't get a vibe for what he was on trial for. He said this morning you find out he's getting 120 years in prison. He said then you read about what he was doing and that's what the special should have been about.
Howard said this guy had a 15 year old he was fucking according to this news. He said he didn't get that in the special. Robin said he was giving lectures about how rape isn't rape and who says that it's wrong to have sex with children. She said he says it's society.
Howard said a lot of this stuff was about how the guy would tell women to lose weight even if they were thin already. He said he'd get them down to skin and bones. He said he likes thin women but that's too much.
Howard read some messages this guy Keith was writing to one of these young women. He said he's a creep. He was telling her that she had gained too much weight.
Howard said the guy is going to prison for 120 years and at that rate he'll probably die there. He said he knew one guy who lived to 125. Robin said this guy is already 50 or so. Howard asked if they'll let him out if he lives long enough.
Howard said if you look up this guy and the texts he wrote to this woman Camilla you'll see what he was doing. He said this guy would tell the women they had to do more to make him feel like they wanted to fuck him. Robin said this was a women's empowerment group. Howard said in that case he could make a lot of women fuck him.
Howard said Ronnie used to be fun on the show but yesterday he killed that. He said he's not being fun lately. He said he's not sure what show he's working for. He said they'll find out today what's going to happen.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said in 2018 Ralph refused to say who he voted for and when Howard pushed him on it he pushed back. Howard said he's going to talk about that today.
Bobo said Ralph has nothing and the only closet he's coming out of is his clothes closet. He said he won't come clean today.
Howard said everything he said he has a problem with. He said he's not sure where to begin. He said if Ralph is gay it's a major decision. He said Bobo has no idea what that's like. He said he was raised catholic and all of that. He said calling him a lying dog is wrong. He said coming out is not easy. Robin said Bobo is a lying dog because he lied about losing a relative on 9/11. Bobo asked about Ellen coming out later in life. Howard said that's right but he can't be making sense right now. He said that's what Ellen needed to do. He said that you have to put up with a lot of shit when you're gay. He said it's a very big decision.
Howard said he's not sure where to start with Bobo. He said he knows that Ralph dated a women for years. He said he hung out with them. He said they went to a party and Ralph was dating a girl he dated for months. He said that he named his dog after a stripper Ralph dated. He said he has seen Ralph with women. Bobo asked why he didn't say that on the show. Howard said he did share that on the show. He said he dated that girl from Star Trek and they had her on the air. He said he dated her for a while.
Howard said Bobo is all over the place and angry and he's not sure why. Bobo said he thought it was unfair the way he was attacking Ronnie. He also didn't vote in the midterm election.
Howard said he did talk to Ronnie about his vote in 2016 and now. He said he wasn't asking who he was voting for but why he won't talk about it now but he did back in 2016. Robin said they never asked who he is voting for. She said they asked if he was decided and why he can't be vocal now.
Howard said Bobo lied about the 9/11 thing. Bobo said he came clean. Robin said they caught him. Howard said he lied about having hair for a long time too. Gary said Bobo didn't come clean. He said he pressed him on it and he came clean eventually. Howard asked what it was that happened. Gary said his brother had a heart attack after not being able to get in touch with his daughter the next day after 9/11. He died on 9/12 from a heart attack. Howard said he indirectly died on 9/12.
Howard said it's not the same thing to call Ralph a lying dog. Everyone was doing the Bobo Sniff after that. Fred was doing the Bobo puppet thing too.
Bobo said that his brother's daughter wasn't in the building that day because she was out running on the beach. He said his brother didn't know that. Howard said the notion that you walk around the rest of the life mourning your brother with a 9/11 jacket after he died on 9/12 is just wrong. Bobo said he lived in New York most of his life with the MTA. He said they gave him that patch. Howard said you can't go around saying that your brother died on 9/11. Bobo said he wasn't doing that.
Howard said his point is that he's talking about a guy coming out of the closet and that's a big decision. He said calling him a lying dog is a bit harsh.
Howard said he's reading today about how they're fucking with the mail. He said that in the last 4 years they have been doing this. He said there are people waiting for their bills and they can't get them. He said they used to have the best mail system here. He said the disheartening thing is that the whole country is based on voting. He said the people have the power. He said no one else has the power. He said for these gangsters to run around and fuck with the mail system so you can't vote is really fucked up. He said you have to be high or stupid to think this is okay. He said there are going to be a lot of write in votes this year. He said that people are conspiring to slow down the mail system. He said that they're hoping they come in after the election. He said this is anti-America. He said he just wants this to be fair. He said he doesn't think what's going on with the postal service is right. He said come forward if you're being told to slow things down. Robin said this is when you start to think of us as a banana republic.
Howard said there are people who don't want to lose their jobs over this. Bobo said he read about carriers burning their mail and tossing it in the garbage. Howard said he's hoping by next week we go back to normal. He said he wants a president who reads intelligence briefings. He said he wants the top people in government. He said he wants people with experience. He said he wants all intelligence briefings by the CIA and FBI to be read by the President. He said he wants a country where we fight COVID like we're fighting a war. He said that's what he's hoping for.
Howard said to find out if Ralph is gay they have to have Ronnie fall into line and Ralph to fall into line. He said they only have 4 hours to do this today.
Howard said he was told to get a super flu shot. He said Beth got the regular one and he got the super duper one. He said he was sick for about a day. He said he got a reaction from it. He said that it's worth doing. He said Beth had a headache. Robin said they do say that you might have some of those symptoms. Howard said he knows a guy in his 80s who got it and didn't have any symptoms.
Howard said there's a lot of fuckery going on in this country that he doesn't like. He said the Supreme Court is one thing. He said they have a court order about the votes that come in after the election. He said the Supreme Court voted against it. He said you want your vote to count even if it comes in a few days late. He said we're heading down the road to where they won't be any elections. He said this is a really important election. He said don't fuck it up.
Howard said they're working to make sure people's votes aren't being counted. He said you vote before election day. He said they're fucking with the mail and you can't like what they're doing with this country right now. Bobo said they're torching Ballot Boxes around the country. Howard asked how you feel good about this. He said this is someone pulling a coup. He said he doesn't like it. He said it feels really creepy and dangerous. He said he wants to get the fuck out of his house. He said he wants people masking up.
Howard said Bobo is mumbling so he has to go. Bobo said he was just agreeing with the Halloween thing. Howard said just skip it for a year. He hung up on Bobo.
Howard said he's afraid to ask Bobo who he's voting for. Robin said he was a big Trump guy. Howard said he's afraid to ask.
Howard took a call from a guy who said his business relies on the mail and it's taking 2 weeks when it used to take a couple of days. Howard asked how people feel good about this. He asked how they're getting away with this. The caller said that he has to send it by FedEx and it's cutting into his profits. He said it's happening all over the place too.
Howard said everyone on his staff is telling him stories about all of this. He said he has a story about sending something to his daughter and it's taken 3 weeks so far. He said that this is the greatest thing we have to vote and they're screwing with it.
Howard asked Gary to tell his story. Gary said he gets his bills in the mail and he goes through them and pays them online. He said he's had a few bills that don't make it to him. He said it's happened about 3 times in the past few months. He said he missed a September payment and he's just not getting the bills. Gary said he realized he's just not getting his bills.
Howard asked how you feel good about what's happening in the country right now. He asked how they're getting away with this. Robin said they're in charge. Howard said if they're that devious and brilliant then do this with COVID. Robin said they're only good at breaking things. Howard asked why we can't do as good with COVID as Australia. He said we're losing and not winning like America should be doing.
Howard said we can't even do a regular vote because of this. He said we have a Supreme Court saying that if they count the votes late then your votes don't count. Robin asked how they justify that. Robin said that the new Supreme Court Justice was at the White House for a party last night. She said she keeps talking about how independent she is but she's at a White House party partying with the President.
Howard read some fan feedback about yesterday's show with Ralph and Ronnie. He said fans are thinking Ralph is gay. He said someone said if you shave a man's belly then you're gay. Howard asked if he's gay for having his belly shaved.
Howard read more feedback about Ralph and people are thinking he is gay. Robin said that the one thing she wants to know why so long if he does come out as gay. Howard said that's one question that might be answered. Robin said she can't believe he'd keep it secret so long if it's true. Howard said everyone agrees that this is the Cocktober surprise for this Cocktober.
Howard read about Mariann from Brooklyn having a party at her house. He said some fans lashed out at her for that. He read comments about how irresponsible that was. Howard said that the fans appreciated her honesty too. He read feedback about that. Mariann did say she was feeling guilty about that party.
Howard read more of the feedback and someone asked about Fred laying off with the crow sound effects when Mariann is speaking. Fred played them while he was reading that.
Howard said that some people wrote in about how they hate Cocktober. He had a few of those. He said that some people are sad to see Cocktober go. Howard said some people enjoy it. He had a song to mark the end of the long and girthy Cocktober. He said it was sent in by Jay and Roddy. Howard thanked them for the song after playing it.
The caller asked a question that confused Howard so he gave up on talking to the guy. Howard said he has on idea what he's talking about.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that last guy was a fucking idiot. Howard said he has to tell you something. He said Mark the Bagger lives in Pennsylvania and he hates hearing that his vote means more than his. He said Bobo too living in Florida. The caller said no one even cares about California because no president is campaigning over there.
The caller said he's so annoyed with what Bobo said earlier. He said that he's a lying dog for not telling them he had a lobotomy. He said he wants to say that he's annoyed by some stuff they said yesterday about a man being gay if you suck a cock but if a woman does something with another woman she might not be a lesbian. Howard said you are gay if you suck a cock. He said there are many young men who are forced into doing that kind of thing but they were forced into it so they're not gay. He said they were kids and they live with this because they were tricked by older men or predators. He said that is an example of someone who is not gay but they sucked cock.
Howard said he has a female friend who lived with a woman for years and then she went off with a man and she's been with him every since. He said that people do change. He said with Ralph what they were saying is that if he has sucked some dicks and taken one in the ass he would say he's gay. He said you can argue that. The caller said he might be bisexual. Howard said he could be.
Howard said Richard and Sal have had dick in their mouth and they say it's just comedy. Howard said he's not sure what's going on there. He said they'll get to the bottom of it today.
Robin said she predicted that Ralph would come out of the closet at 40. She said she's to sure when she did that but she was a little early with that prediction if he does come out today.
Gary asked if you're gay if you're only gay for pay. Howard said they had someone on the show talking about that the other day. He said if you can get hard for a guy then you're gay. He said there's no shame in it. He said just live your life and who cares.
Howard said Richard agreed to blow Ronnie for a million dollars. He said that maybe he's bi.
Howard said Benjy said he'd blow a guy for a million too. Robin said she thinks that they could get him for less. Robin said that half a million could get Richard. Richard said she's probably right.
Howard said that's really fucked up. He said he thinks that Richard has a lot of gay in him. He said that he world go to a lot of appearances for porn stars and he's obsessed with Peter North and ignores Jenna Jameson. He said that's kind of gay.
Howard said he's not sure about guys who are into guys in porn. He heard that Will is into them too. Howard got him on and Will said there are guys who are better at fucking than others. Howard said he doesn't know about these two. Howard said Richard and Sal went out and got a couple's massage for Richard's bachelor party. Richard said they had a guy come over and hit on them while they were in a spa. He said Sal had to move so the guy's balls didn't hit him in his head.
Howard said that Richard called Will and talked to him about how he wanted to fuck him. He said Richard is gay or wants to do gay acts. Richard said he didn't get laid for 10 years and he could have gone that way but he didn't.
Howard said Richard gets gay quickly. Richard said it's just fun. He said it's fun to get drunk and talk about gay stuff. Robin said if a guy was there with him and he started carrying on and a guy wants to do something then what happens. Richard said he doesn't want to make love to a man. He said he doesn't have that desire to get passionate with a man. Howard said whatever, sure. He said they get it, he's straight.
Howard said the guys brought this to his attention. He said that Richard has a house and he has his own bathroom. He said his wife has her own bathroom. He said Richard hasn't cleaned his bathroom. Robin said oh jeez. Howard said they're going to get a tour now.
Howard said that Jason has some information about this. Jason said they figured this might be the most disgusting thing they can see on Halloween. He said this is so disgusting. He said there's black dirt all over the place in the bathroom. He said there's rust and stains all over. He said there's a glue trap with crickets stuck to it. He said it's right next to where you put your feet when you're on the toilet.
Howard said his wife is always cleaning his bathroom. He asked if he thinks there's anything wrong with this. Richard said no because when he lived in a storage unit it was 50 times worse. Robin said maybe you don't want to live in filth anymore. Richard said that never occurred to him. He said that his wife won't go into the bathroom.
Jason said this is the main floor bathroom in the house. He said that this is the one the guests would use. Richard said luckily they don't have guests anymore.
Howard said that his wife has to go upstairs to use the bathroom. Richard said the other one is bigger. Jason said she could piss in there if it was clean.
Howard asked what else they're going to see. Jason said they sent him a black light and you turn it on and it's a whole other bathroom.
Howard asked to see the bathroom. Richard brought them in for a tour. Richard showed the toilet and there was shit on the outside. He said there was piss all over too. Howard asked why he doesn't take that glue trap out. Richard said it's still good. Howard said put down a new one. He said there are a thousand bugs in it. Howard said this is a rental house too. Robin let out a sigh. Howard asked to see the sink. He asked what all of that shit is. Richard said it's a lot of hairs. Howard asked if those are crickets in the glue trap. Richard said they are and that's just from the last night or two. He said they have a ton of these spider crickets in the house.
Howard said he lives in filth. He said he has a spray you use to wipe everything down. He said he could do that at least. Howard said even he does that. Richard said he did agree with his wife to clean it after this. Howard said you're going to see a toilet that looks like it's never been cleaned. He said there are dead bugs all over the floor. Robin said look at the splatter of shit. Jason said the crickets were still alive and moving on the glue trap.
Will asked if his son goes in there. Richard said he doesn't. He said he goes to the other one. Will said there's no way he doesn't go in there. He said there's no soap in there either.
Howard asked what the stains are in there. Richard said they had a soap dispenser in there. Howard said he's not a stickler for cleanliness but he's not sure about this.
Gary said they live in a rental. He asked if he thinks he'll see his deposit again. Gary said he would throw him out after seeing this if he was the landlord. Howard said it looks like a Chinese wet market. Robin said Richard has created a haunted house.
Gary asked where he washes his hands. Richard said he goes to the kitchen. Jason said he's sure he gets distracted and forgets to wash his hands sometimes.
Richard said he would rather wash his hands in a cleaner room than wash them in there. Howard said Richard doesn't go into another room to wash his hands. Robin said he just walks away. Gary asked if anyone is curious that this is the only dirty room in the house. Richard said it is. He said they keep everywhere else clean. Gary asked how that could be true.
Jason said that it's even more disgusting when you flip on a black light. Richard did that and showed everyone the filth in the bathroom. Fred played the Psycho music and Beetlejuice throwing up drops.
Will asked why there's stains on the top of the toilet. Howard asked how it gets up there. Richard said that might be semen. He said that he does jerk off in there once in a while. Howard asked how semen gets on the back of the toilet. Richard said maybe it's after he took the Peter North pills. Howard said he cums on the back of the toilet. Richard said he's not sure how it got up there. He said a lot of this is a mystery to him.
Gary said that's definitely semen up there. Howard asked how it gets underneath the toilet. Richard said these are all great questions but he doesn't have an answer for him. He said he must be spraying everywhere. Robin said there's splatter everywhere in there.
Howard said that's pretty gross. He said they'll put this video up on the app. He said this takes the cake for dirty bathrooms. Robin said there's splatter over on the side. Howard said there's no toilet paper in there but there's piss and stuff in there. Richard said he might have put a roll of toilet paper in there that was soaked in urine. He said sometimes the toilet will overflow and the paper is on the floor so he'll use it after it dries out.
Gary said he'll take urine soaked toilet paper and wipe his ass with it? Richard said yeah. Gary asked if he brushes his teeth in there. Richard said no. Robin said he doesn't brush his teeth. Jason pointed out a glob on the wall. Howard asked what that is. Richard said it could be semen. Howard asked why he would cum on the wall. Richard said that he's seeing a lot of stuff in there he didn't know about. He said he must have just gotten excited.
Howard said he wants him to go to jail for this. Robin said she wants him to clean it and then go back there with the black light. She said he won't clean it adequately.
Howard said there are stains on the wall like a Jackson Pollock painting. Richard said he'll be cleaning it this afternoon.
Richard said he doesn't want his son or wife going in there after seeing this. Howard said they'll put this up on the app for people to see. He said this is why grey have the app. He said he wants this up by this afternoon. He said those poor crickets. He said what a place to die. He said he's seen gross bathrooms but nothing this bad.
Howard said Richard does a lot of crazy things. He said he once shit in a coffee can and baked it. He said he wanted him to chloroform him and change his clothes. He said he jerked off in a picture frame and gave it to him as a gift. Howard said he wants to do the chloroform him but he can't do it because he might die. Richard said he would sign a release. Howard said it doesn't matter.
Howard said he has a new game for Robin to play. He said it's called Has Richard Done It? He asked if Richard shit on a guy's porch and lit it on fire and ran off after ringing the bell. Robin said he has done that. Howard asked if he has. Richard said he did that.
Howard asked if Richard pushed a car off a cliff. Robin said she thinks he did that. Howard asked if he did. Richard said they did that too. He said it was his buddy's old Volkswagen. He said that they shit on it and pushed it off a cliff. He said they watched each other shit and laughed.
Howard asked if Richard how they shit on command. Richard said one guy wasn't able to so he just pissed on it. He said they just used leaves to wipe with. Howard said you know you don't clean up well after that. Robin said she's wondering how his wife lets him in the house. Howard said you know he lives like that for a few days with his dirty ass. Richard said he wasn't getting laid in high school so it didn't matter.
Howard asked if Richard drank his friend's piss directly from the pee hole after losing a bet. Robin said she hopes that's not true. Howard asked if it's false. Richard said it is.
Howard asked if Richard and his friends stole a carved pumpkin and they all jerked off in it together. Robin said they did that. Howard asked if he did it. Richard said that's false.
Howard asked if Richard one Halloween night took a bath and his friend jizzed in the tub when he came over. Robin said that sounds like something that happened to Richard. She said yes. Howard said if that happened then he's watching his friend jerk off. Howard asked if that's true or false. Richard asked what he thinks. Howard said he doesn't know what to think. Richard said it is true. Howard asked why he wouldn't get out of the tub. Richard said they were at his grandma's house and the guy was jerking off to some porn. He said he came running in when he was taking a bath and he went in the tub and started laughing. Howard said that's a funny guy. Richard said he's still his best friend from Kansas. He said he pushed his friend and the jizz went all over the bathroom. He said he stayed in the tub for a while but avoided the floating jizz.
Howard asked if Richard dressed as a penis for Halloween. Robin said yes. Richard said that's false.
Howard asked if Richard once stole a coffin and slept in it for Halloween. Howard said that has to be true. Richard said it's true. He said he slept in it for years. He said that it may have been used.
Howard asked if Richard's mom caught him jerking off to Halloween music. Robin said she thinks he would have told them that story. She said no to that. Howard said he doesn't think anyone would jerk off to that music. Robin said that he probably has jerked off to it but didn't get caught. Richard said she's right.
Howard said that Richard once shit his underwear and buried it in the back yard. Robin said he's shit his pants but didn't bury it. Howard asked if he did that. Richard said that is true. Howard asked why he'd bury it. Richard said that he'd shit in their yard and his neighbor would complain about it. He said that his mom had found some shitty underpants so he buried the in the yard. He said their dog dug it up the next day. He said he had to throw them in the pond after that.
Howard said he's done with this game. He said he knows that Richard loves Halloween but he's not taking his kid trick or treating. He asked if they're going to play a game in the house. Richard said they are going to hide it around the house. He said he doesn't think anyone should be going door to door. He said they're going to have candy bags for kids at the end of the driveway. He said they're being extra careful because his wife is pregnant. Howard said just clean that bathroom.
Howard said some of their staff are taking their kids trick or treating. He said that some are sucking it up. He said some kids are just happy to get candy. Howard said the Hulk is letting his kids go trick or treating. He got Hulk on the line and talked to him as Bruce Banner. Hulk said that he is taking his kids out but just a few blocks around. He said they're wearing masks and staying away from everyone. He said they'll wipe the candy down and all of that.
Howard asked why take the risk. Hulk said he doesn't think it's a big risk. Hulk asked if Richard lets his kid around other kids. Richard said they go to playgrounds and they're being extra careful. He said there's only so much you can do with a young kid though.
Hulk said he has two kids and they're 5 and 1 and a half. He said that they're talking about a 25 minute venture out into the world. Howard said he always hated Halloween. He said it's just such dumb shit. He said he had a horrible experience as a boy. He said he was probably under 5. He said it was raining out and his mother was trying to bond him and his father. He said his father had to carry him from house to house in the rain and it was just not fun. He said right then and there he realized it was dumb stuff. He said their house got egged once too. He said his father had to paint the whole house after that. He said it was just stupid shit. Howard said his father never did that again. Howard said they never did things more than once together. He said it was always miserable. He said they went to a ball game just once. He said he took him to a movie once and that was it.
Robin said he must have done things more than once. Howard said if his mom was there they would do things more than once. He said just him and his dad together never worked out.
Howard said his mother wanted him to go to the racetrack with his father. He said he brought him and it was a disaster. Howard said his dad brought him and he looked miserable. Hulk asked if he ever took him to a playground or anything. Howard said no. Robin asked about little league. Howard didn't go to any of that.
Howard said they were at the race track and he got some binoculars and saw a number on the wall. He said he told his dad that number 8 was going to win. He said his dad told him to shut up. He said that number 8 won and his father lost a bunch of money. He said his dad thought he had some special power or something so he gave him money to bet with. He said the next 8 races he bet on horses he picked and he lost all 8 races.
Howard said his dad didn't talk to him the whole drive home. Robin said that's so crazy. Howard said the worst part was when grey got home and he gave her the rundown. He said that his dad was telling her about how the betting went.
Howard said that recap went on for years and years after that day. He said his father would tell his aunt and other people the story. Robin asked if he really called him a moron. Howard said she's heard the tape. Fred played the clips of his dad calling him a moron.
Howard said that wasn't too much fun. He said look at the fun he's having now as an adult. Robin said with his system he wanted to turn it all over to a 7 year old. Howard said this one horse came in number 1. He said his father had never looked at him like that before. He said he thought he was a genius. He said lunch was being bought for him and all of this.
Howard said he thought he was going to be accepted finally. Richard said his whole life would have been different if Jerry Mahoney had won. Howard said you see these guys who have women blow on their dice at the casino and the guy wins. He said he felt like that girl to his father. He said if Jerry Mahoney had won he'd be at the race track right now. Howard said it didn't go his way that day. He said it's hard to pick 8 winners. He said he did get one.
Howard said he has a million stories like that. He said he tells his psychiatrist those stories and he doesn't laugh or think they're funny. Howard said he made a lot of money telling those stories.
Richard said it's sad that he hates Halloween because of that. Howard said he had a few good Halloween. He said he just thinks it's a waste of time now. He said that there's so much going on. He said that people take Halloween so seriously. He had some clips of people getting upset about Halloween being canceled. Howard said this guy is Roy from a YouTube channel telling people to fight for Halloween. Howard played the clip and the guy was getting worked up about them being pussies there in Los Angeles.
Howard said that guy is standing up to the government. He said how about standing up for your fellow citizens to get rid of this virus.
Howard said this is a guy named Dave Hodges. He said he hosts a Common Sense show. He played a clip of the guy getting worked up about the Halloween thing.
Howard said the CDC sent out guidelines about trick or treating. He said this guy Matt Walsh said everyone is going to die anyway so hiding in your home is pathetic and futile.
Howard said this guy is from a podcast and he says Halloween is a good opportunity to get herd immunity. Howard played a clip of the guy talking about that.
Howard said this woman from Infowars says this is a psychological operation. He played a clip of her giving her theories about the whole thing.
Howard said that yesterday they had 74,000 cases and almost 1000 deaths. He said it was just another 1000 people who wanted to have fun.
Howard played more of the woman from Infowars and she said that this is the Grinch that ''stoled'' Christmas.
Howard said they need a policy to get everyone together to understand the importance of this. He said forget that and lets get to Ralph and find to if he's gay or not.
Howard said this is the Howard Stern Show and he's fine with him if he votes for Trump but he's not being vocal about it this time. Hulk said he's not sure what's going on with that either.
Howard got Ralph on the line and he went off on Hulk for having 5 families over for a party. He said you know that they're not wearing masks and they're all touching each other and all of that. Howard said he's with Ralph on all of this.
Ralph said he's lucky enough to have a job when so many people don't. He said he has to think. Howard said lets not get into that right now. Ralph asked what kind of gay porn does Will like. He said he wants to know what kind of guys he's into. Richard said he likes Manuel Ferrara. Will got on and said there are dudes who are better at banging women. He said in porn there are guys who are better.
Howard said he doesn't like guys in porn. He said he wants to see lesbian porn. He said he doesn't want to see the guy's dick in porn.
Ralph asked who Will likes. Will said he and Richard used to bond over Peter North. He said he grew up with that guy. He said he was the first porno he ever watched. He said he didn't like him but the chicks he was with.
Howard said he's not sure about liking a guy in porn. Ronnie got on and said he's not into the guys either but he likes to see a guy drop a load sometimes. He said he doesn't know the guy's names though. Howard said he thinks the whole staff is coming out right now.
Will said he can say that he's never been with a man in any way. Ralph said he has done some things. He said he's heard stories about him. Will said he may have done some gay antics when he was drunk. He said that's a long way from being gay. Howard said he heard he kept his hand on Chris Wilding's knee for a long time. Will said that was a team building thing.
Howard said he wants to get to this whole thing from yesterday. He said he hasn't taken a break yet. He said he should go pee. He asked if Ralph can hold on. Ralph said he can wait. He said he's not having 5 families over so he's fine.
Howard thanked Gardein for sponsoring the show today. He said he thinks Ralph would like it. They spent a minute talking about that.
Howard said that over the years people have said that Ralph is gay. He said yesterday Ralph told Ronnie to admit to who he's voting for. He said a caller suggested that Ronnie will reveal who he votes for and Ralph has to admit if he's gay. Howard said they came up with a deal where Ronnie will do that if Ralph answers questions about his sexuality. Howard said he will ask about him being with a man and having a dick in his mouth or his ass.
Howard said Ralph asked Ronnie to vote for Biden for him to reveal his sexuality. Howard said he wants Ronnie to vote for Biden because this is very important.
Ralph said he's going to make this easier. He said that telling Ronnie who to vote for is bullying him. He said all he wants is for him to say who he's voting for. Ralph said the thing that's upsetting him is that he can't decide. He said it drives him crazy. He said he's wondering what the fuck is wrong with Ronnie. He said he doesn't want to argue with him. He said he does like him. Ronnie said he's not arguing.
Ralph said he'll answer his questions if Ronnie answers that one question. Ronnie said he doesn't care if he's gay or not. Howard said they do though.
Howard said he's going to ask Ronnie one question. He said all he has to do is answer this one question. He said Ralph is willing to put his sexual identity on the line. He said he called Ralph yesterday to talk about this. He said that he says he will be 100 percent honest about this stuff. Ronnie said good for him. He said he didn't want to be the one to make him make that decision. He said he doesn't care if he's gay. Howard said they care though. Ronnie said that he should make a deal with him then.
Howard said all of America is listening. He said that the fans are listening. He said if Ralph wants to come out he's kind of helping him. He said it gives him an excuse. He said he could be helping someone else with their sexual identity. Ronnie asked why it's put to him. Howard said he's not sure but they're at this moment in time.
Ralph said that he thinks Ronnie will be honest about this and it will show a lot about him if he's voting for Trump. Ronnie said maybe he doesn't like either one of them. Howard said he can say that he's not picking either one. Ralph said maybe he has a good reason for voting for Trump and he'd like to hear that. Ronnie said he never said he was voting for Trump.
Howard said that Ralph has told him he's straight. He said that no one around him believes it. He said his cousin named Stacy was born with the name Edwin. He said at 13 or so he came out. He said he's no longer alive. He said that he was living in Brooklyn at the time and it was in the 50s. He said coming out at that time was fucking dangerous. He said he lived his life and he was a wonderful guy. He said they all loved him. He said that later on in life he got married. He said he lost his first husband and got married a second time.
Howard said at one time Stacy was there at his house and Ralph was there. He said his cousin was super gay. He said he asked Stacy what he thinks about Ralph and he said ''Oh he's gay.'' He said without missing a beat he said Ralph is gay. He said Stacy would tell you anything. He said Stacy's husband Michael said the same thing. He said he got into an argument with them about that. He said he figured Ralph would have come out to him if he was gay.
Howard said then he went into the house and figured they had no Gaydar. He said this has been his whole life. He said the night he met Beth it was Ralph who was hitting on Beth. He said he was sitting next to this beautiful woman and that turned out to be Beth. He said Ralph said that he stole her from him. He said Beth thought he was a nice gay guy who was just talking to her. Ralph said he wasn't hitting on her. Ralph said he told him that he was working her but Howard came in and took her. He said that he was just letting him know that he broke the bro-code.
Howard said his point is that all of these years Ronnie has been around have led to this moment. He said this is an important moment. He asked if Ronnie will tell them so Ralph will answer these 3 questions. He said it's up to him. He said he won't badger him if he says no. He said he'll let him think about it while he takes a call.
Howard took a call from a guy who said some of the stuff that he's saying is pissing him off. He said he wants to make the case for bisexual men. He said that he likes playing with and seeing dick. He said he has had sex with a lot of women and it's possible to be a real man and still hook up with a guy. He said he has to erase his old school mentality. Ralph said that guy is so gay. Ralph asked the guy if he thinks he's gay. The caller said he has had a hard time with it but he has admitted he's bi. He said he's not attracted to men. He said that he just likes dick.
Ronnie asked what his wife thinks. The caller said that he's grossed out by hairy men and all of that. He said that he likes to blow men though. Howard said he's bisexual then. He said he likes to have guy's fluid all over him so he's fluid. He said he's a Marine and he likes to have sex with men so he's bisexual.
Ronnie asked what his wife thinks. The caller, Tim, said that she's not into it and he has stopped having sex with guys for the past 4 years. He said it was a part of his life for a long time. Howard asked if there are some guys he wants to blow and some who he doesn't want to blow. Tim said that ugly, fat gross, guys no way. Howard said so it's not just the dick then. He said he's kidding himself. He said he has a type then. Tim said he may have a point there. He asked what he's supposed to do with his wife, just tell her he's gay. Howard said if he has a desire to be with men and he's not that into his wife then he should talk to her about it. Ralph said that doesn't make him gay to him. He said it's not that black or white. Howard asked if he enjoys sex with his wife. Tim said absolutely. Ralph asked if he'd like to blow him. Tim said send him a pic. Howard thanked Tim for his service and let him go.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine who asked if it's going to be a let down if Ralph says he's not gay. Howard said it might be a letdown. He said that Ralph might go first and let Ronnie reveal his answer after. Mike said that the gay thing has been used as an insult to him over the years. He said maybe that's the thing that people have been trying to get out of him.
Howard went to Ronnie and said it's 9:20 in the morning. He said if he wants to say who he's voting for they can quiz Ralph. He said it's time for the answer. He asked Ronnie what it is. Ronnie said he discussed it with Stephanie last night. He said he's pretty much sticking to his guns. He said that they don't care if Ralph is gay or not. He said that it's not up to him to get him to come out or not. Ralph said he's surprised. Howard said ''What!?'' He said he thinks he has some shit in his ears or something. Ronnie said he heard him. Robin said he's making this about himself and not about the show. Ronnie said it is about him. Robin said they still have to do a show.
Howard said Ralph spent 6 hours on the phone with people talking about this. Ronnie said he's sorry but that's his stand. Robin said he's standing in all the wrong places. Howard asked what the big deal is. Ralph asked what you expect from a Trump supporter. Ronnie said say what you want.
Howard said in 2016 Ronnie said he was voting for Trump and by the next day he forgot about it. Ralph said he's putting a lot on the line here. Ronnie said he doesn't care about that. He said that he made his decision. Howard said this could have been the greatest moment in radio history. He said Ronnie could have been the man.
Howard went to Jason and asked what he thinks. Jason said that he can't believe that he's getting this from Ronnie. He said that he's been complaining so much about people wanting to know his vote. He said now it's about getting information about Ralph and he's letting it go. Gary said that part of Ronnie's argument is that he feels responsible but it really has nothing to do with him.
Ronnie asked if he has ever said anything to Ralph about being gay. He said no because he doesn't care. Howard said this could have been a great show moment. He said he knows that. Ralph said he could be straight though. He said they seem to be forgetting about that.
Chris said that this is kind of a fuck you to the show. He said Ronnie doesn't care if Ralph is gay or not. He said he doesn't care about giving the show content. Ronnie said he still has a lot of content to give the show. Chris said he's not sure about this. He said there's nothing more interesting than this.
Howard said in 2016 he was screaming from the rafters who he was voting for. He asked what happened. Ronnie went on a bit of a rant and disappeared from his camera.
Howard asked JD what he thinks about all of this. JD said he is disappointed but he sees where Ronnie is coming from. He said he doesn't want to be told what to do. Robin said this was an offer made to him. JD said he did say he wanted to think about it. Ralph said he just made it easier by saying he just had to say who he's voting for. Ronnie came back so Howard said that's good to see. He said he thought that was a Trump move to run off from an interview.
Ralph said he's not sure why Ronnie is so mad at Chris. Howard asked JD why this is such a big thing now. JD said he thinks that there are possibly repercussions that he could get from friends going one way or the other. Howard said Ronnie doesn't give a shit. Ronnie said there are two there right on the screen. Howard said so fuck 'em. He said get rid of them if they don't want to be your friends. Ronnie went off on Chris again and said that he's never said that he won't be their friend if they don't listen to what he says.
Chris said he wants him to just listen to him about one thing. Ronnie said he doesn't want to hear it from him. He said he will hear it from anyone but Chris.
Howard said what he knows about Ronnie he's thinking that if someone says they won't be his friend because of this vote then he'd get rid of them. Ronnie said that's not what's going on. Howard said he'd be friends with Ronnie even if he voted for Trump again. He said that Ronnie voted for him in 2016 and he doesn't care. He said he thinks Ronnie doesn't care if people don't want to be his friend.
Howard asked why he won't say it now. Ronnie said he doesn't have to or want to. Gary said there's another theory that Ronnie and Stephanie may have a backer out in Vegas who may be a Trump supporter. Ronnie said that's not true. He said she's getting a regular job out there and they're not opening their own business yet.
Howard said he wants to know why Ronnie won't answer this. He asked if he's embarrassed. Ralph said he's buying into this line of garbage that Trump has. Howard asked if he's afraid he won't like him. Ronnie said he's not going to beg anyone to be his friend. JD asked if this is about principle at this point.
Howard asked if there's something on the line. Ronnie said he doesn't care if Ralph is whatever. He said he thinks that he's bisexual but he doesn't care either way. Howard said he does care. Ronnie said he doesn't care.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves Ronnie. Ronnie thought it was Ralph. Howard said it's Jeff. The caller said he can't remember a bigger letdown on the show. He said that he has told every story on the show and he's afraid to say who he's voting for. Ronnie said he's not afraid to but he doesn't want to.
Howard took another call from a guy who said this was a big letdown. Ronnie didn't seem to care.
Chris said that if he agrees to stay off the air for all of November will Ronnie reveal who he's voting for. Ronnie said he can do whatever he wants. He said no. He doesn't care if he stays off the air.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's planning on voting for Trump but she'll change that vote if they find out about Ralph. Howard said he hopes that he takes her up on that. Ralph said he doesn't care about that idiot. He said she's a horrible person. Ralph said this is an important and that woman is an idiot.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks Ronnie is voting Trump and they should leave him alone and he thinks Ralph is gay. Howard said they'll never know. He said they're trying to get the answer.
Jason asked if he can say something. He asked if it's about principal or does he have a reason in his head. Ronnie said it's principle. Robin asked when he got this principle. Ralph said last week apparently.
Howard took a call from a fake Cher who was upset with Ronnie for not doing this. Cher had her finger up her asshole in seconds. She said that she was going to cum so hard if he told her who he's voting for. Howard said he thinks that may have really been her.
Howard took a call from fake Jim Meyer who asked who put him up to this shit. He said they were going to do a whole Ralph coming out and Spotify must have put him up to this. He said Ronnie makes him fucking sick.
Howard said here's what he's going to do. He said that he is so curious about this and he can't even tell you how interested he is. He said that he's been friends with Ralph for so long. He said he believes that he's straight. He said this is why it's so important to him.
Howard said he believes that Ronnie has the right to keep his vote quiet but he wants to know about Ralph so bad. He said that he will remain his friend no matter what though. He said he'll always be his dear friend.
Howard tried to get Ronnie to change his mind. He said if there's any way he can do this he'd appreciate it. He said even his wife thinks that Ralph is gay. He asked if there's any way he can end this nightmare. Ronnie said if he's his best friend then why won't he tell him. Howard said that's what he wants to know. Ronnie said he should tell him off the air. Howard said that's what he's going to ask him.
Howard said he has to tell Ronnie that this is the greatest unanswered question of his life. He said he doesn't give a fuck who he's voting for. He said Ralph does. He said that he can vote for Kanye West and he won't care. He said he'll always be his friend. He said he'll stand by his decision. He said he just wants to know if Ralph is gay.
Howard asked what is with this guy. He asked if Ralph is gay then why isn't he telling him. He said that he has to know. Ronnie said he has to find out another way. Howard said he can't find out another way. He said he could be doing him a favor by getting him to reveal this stuff and maybe he'll drop him as a friend. Howard said Ronnie is his best friend. Ronnie said he knows he's not. He said that Ralph is his best friend. Howard said he has never begged for anything in decades of radio. He said he's begging him for this. He said he's getting on his knees to beg now. He got on his knees and Ronnie verified he was on his knees.
Howard said he has never been on his knees before a man. He asked Ronnie to please do this. He said he's in pain here. Ronnie said he knows. He said that he wants him to ask his friend if he's gay or not. Howard said Ralph just laughs.
Howard asked Beth to help him up over there. He asked if someone can get him off the ground there.
Howard asked how many years they've been working together. Ronnie said 36 years next month. Howard said they've shared a lot of memories together. Ronnie said he knows. Howard said he's a friend and he has done a lot of things for him. He said that they have been through a lot together. He said he doesn't have to do this but he is on his knees. He said that this question has plagued him for so long. He said as long as he's known Ronnie.
Ralph said Ronnie is on his way out and he doesn't need anything from him anymore so that's why he's not doing this. Howard said he doesn't believe that.
Howard said he's going to be honest. He said he's no better than Ronnie. He said that maybe he knows something he doesn't know. He said he wants to know if this guy sucked dick. He said he has to know already. He said it's going to be another 15 years before they get a chance like this again.
Howard said he has to get up off the floor. Chris said that he spoke to Ralph last night and he's going to give a no bullshit answer. Howard said he's going to end up ding and he won't know the answer to this. Ralph said he'll tell him on his death bed. Howard asked what good that will do.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Ronnie won't reveal this because he and Ralph hooked up at one point and he doesn't want it coming out.
Howard said he's seen Ralph with women and he wants to get to the bottom of this. He said he has to know. Ronnie said talk your friend then. Howard said you talk to him. He said he won't tell him.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks that Ronnie is hurt by them deep down. Howard said she's right but he's not sure how this came about. Chris said he's whining about it. The caller said that there was a point where Ronnie may have thought he was the man on the show and now he doesn't want to give them the satisfaction. Howard said maybe he hasn't done enough or been a good enough friend. He said don't bring that gift he gave him that cost thousands upon thousands of dollars into this. He said he sent him on a trip for 4 days and 3 nights. Ralph said that's over 10. Howard said he's telling you it's over 10. He said he doesn't want that factored into this.
Ralph said he's not going to be around anymore. Ronnie said he didn't say he won't be around. He said that he could be around but not driving. He said it's up to them if they want him around.
Howard said that he and Ronnie have shared special moments over the years. He said that he understands if he doesn't want to be generous toward him. Ralph said he didn't even say he has to vote for a certain person. He said he just said he wants to know who he's voting for. Howard started quoting the Eminem song ''Lose Yourself'' trying to get Ronnie to change his mind. Ralph said if he is this thing then he has a lot more on the line than Ronnie does. Howard said once you come out you can't go back in the bottle. Chris said he knows that because he's been trying.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that he loves Ronnie so he's not going to yell. He said he really doesn't love him but he has to say this. Ronnie said he doesn't hear him anyway. He said he's just shit under his feet. Ronnie asked how he's going to make that racist. King said because it's brown.
Howard asked King what he has to say. King said he has to say what Trump did last night. He said he had a rally in Nebraska and they bussed in people to come to the rally and he left on a plane and the people had to find their way home in 20 degree weather. He said that's who they're dealing with. Ralph said that's what those idiots deserve.
King said he picked up garbage for 32 years. He said he still had to go out and work. He said it's his job to say who he's voting for. Ronnie said that's bullshit. King asked what would happen if he said he wasn't going to work in the rain. He said he'd get suspended. Howard said thanks to King of All Blacks. Ronnie said that maybe he has to be suspended then.
Howard said that he has to leave and pee. He said this is a 4 hour show that he went straight through. He said he needs a break.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this feels like a 15 year old slumber part. He asked if they're going to braid each other's hair next. The caller said he has to respect that Ronnie will talk about everything he does. He said that he wishes every man could be so sexually open like that. He said that they might find out if Ralph sucked a dick or whatever he's done with a dick but that won't make him gay. He said they have to ask him if he's gay point blank. Howard said let them conduct their own inquiry. Howard said he has 3 questions for him and he has to know. Ralph said he'll call him later. Robin asked what good that does them.
Howard said he does not like putting Ronnie in this position. Ronnie laughed. Howard said he can laugh all he wants but he's telling the truth. Howard said he has an opportunity to get an answer now. He said he wishes it wasn't up to Ronnie. He said if it was up to JD he would help and he knows it. JD said if he knew there was a key to Ronnie he would help but he's set. Howard said he knows that. He said it is getting late in the show and he has to end it. Robin said they don't have time to quiz Ralph at this point. Howard said he'll hold it in if he has to. He asked if he wants him to bow to him. Ronnie said no. Howard said he'll do it anyway. He said he'll bow to him like Superman was asked to do to Zod. Howard said Zod said to Superman that he had to bow and Superman said no fucking way but then he had to bow. He said on this show he's like Superman. He said he will bow to him. Ronnie said don't do it. He said he won't look. Jason said this is hard to watch. Howard got on the floor to bow to Ronnie. He said all hail Ronnie. Robin said that made her stomach turn. Howard said now he has to go face his wife after doing that. He said Jim Meyer just vomited.
Howard said he can't do much else. He said he has never done that for anyone. Ronnie said he didn't make him do that. Chris asked if they think Jimmy Fallon has ever done that for his driver.
Howard said he has to live with that the rest of his life. He said he did it for the show. Howard said he will ask one more time. He asked Ronnie and Ronnie said no again. Howard said he could have kept the show going. Ralph said there's one thing he's sure of and that's Ronnie won't answer the question.
Ralph said he and Chris had a whole thing ready to go. Chris said part of his revelation had to do with him. Howard said he had to find out if he was gay. He said he wanted to end the suffering. He asked if Ronnie is still breathing. Ronnie said he's still there. Howard asked if he should end the show. Ronnie said he has to do what he has to do. He said he won't stop him.
Howard said he can't believe this is his Ronnie. He said that he has to accept that this is what's happening. He said he always liked to think that he had his best interests and he thought Ronnie would have his. Ronnie said always. Jason said not always. He said this would cost him nothing to make Howard happy.
Howard said he hasn't felt this bad since not picking the right horses for his father. He said he'll tell you the truth. He said he had the illusion that he'd do anything for Ronnie and Ronnie would do anything for him. He said he should accept that he's his own person though. Howard said he gets it.
Howard asked Ronnie Puppet if he has anything to say. Ronnie Puppet said that he won't bow to the liberal elite. He said he asked Stephanie about this and asked if he should be responsible for the biggest letdown in Stern Show history. Howard said you could make the argument that he has the life he has with Stephanie because of this show. He said he never would have met her if he wasn't on this show. Ralph said he shouldn't have to beg him. He told him to stop it now.
Howard said they got Ronnie into NASCAR stuff and into movies. He said there were girls, girls, girls and more girls. Ralph said that there's Kurt Busch too.
Howard asked the guys who they're voting for. Jason and JD said Biden. Chris can't vote. Robin said she's voting for Biden too. Howard said he really has to end this. Ralph said he really has to go. He said he has an appointment.
Howard asked Benjy who he's voting for. Benjy said he's not voting for Biden. He said he's probably voting for Trump. He asked if it was hard to say that. Benjy said yeah because of the repercussions. Howard said he didn't lose his job. Robin said they're just going to move on to the next person. Ralph said he'd fire him if he could. Howard asked if he thinks Ralph has had gay sex. Benjy said he thinks he has but he would believe him if he said he hasn't. Ralph said there is no straight answer from him. Benjy said his heart is pounding because his age haw always been a question on the show. He said he would reveal it 100 percent honestly if Ralph comes clean. Ralph said that's interesting. He said he doesn't give a shit and he's a fucking moron for voting for Trump s go away.
Howard asked Gary who he's voting for. Gary said that's easy, Biden. He said Howard also built his house. He said he built all of it. Ralph said Gary would be voting for him either way.
Gary said that Ralph shouldn't be yelling at Benjy for voting for Trump. Ralph said he has a real problem with that. He said don't give him that line of crap.
Howard said he has tried to get Ronnie to speak but it's not working. Jason said that Richard just told them who he's voting for. Richard got on and said Biden too. Gary said he represents the gross bathroom vote.
Howard said he doesn't get what the big deal is telling people who you're voting for. He said he told them about having a dildo in his ass. Benjy said that people will physically attack you over it. Howard said stop it.
Benjy asked if his reason for not saying now who he's voting for is the same reason he had 2 weeks ago. Ronnie said yeah.
Benjy said after the elections if Trump wins there will be riots and if you said you were voting for him you could be attacked. Howard said that's such bullshit.
Howard said that Ronnie won't say who he voted for. Ronnie said he's not. He said he won't be responsible for Ralph coming out. Robin said he's not forcing him. She said he wants to come out.
Ralph said he feels bad for Howard. Ronnie said it then tell him. Howard asked if he feels guilty about not helping him out. Ronnie said not at all. He said he didn't ask him to beg him.
Howard said he doesn't want to leave until Ronnie changes his mind. Ralph said he has to go in a minute so he's making it easier. Jason asked where he's going. Ralph said he's having a party. Robin asked if they can hear her. Her camera shut off. Howard said her connection is disgusted with the show. Howard said he has to be honest. He said that he thought appealing to Ronnie on a personal level would work but it didn't. He said he can't say goodbye to his audience because he didn't get them the answer about Ralph. He asked Ronnie to reconsider. Ronnie said no.
Robin said she has no idea what's going on over there. Ralph said it's weird. Howard said if Ralph talked about this he could get his wife to run down the stairs to find out. He said that Beth thought Ronnie would come through. He said she has a million questions for Ralph. Howard said he'll text her now. Ronnie said don't do it. He said he won't change his mind.
Howard said he just texted Beth to come on the show. Ronnie said he's texting her not to. He said he doesn't need to hear from her. Howard said he has to get him to change his mind. Ronnie said he doesn't want to talk to her. Howard asked if she has to come down in a bikini. Ronnie said no. Howard asked what happened to him. Ronnie said he's writing her right now to not come on.
Howard said Beth is coming. He said she listened to him. He said once he hears her it'll all make sense. Ralph said he has to go. Howard asked him not to go. Ronnie said don't put him on the spot with her. Howard said he's desperate. He said he has to get her involved. Ronnie told her don't do it with 19 U's after it. He said he wrote ''Don't duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu it.''
Howard said he didn't know he wrote 19 U's. He asked why 19. Ronnie said that's what he does. Gary said he did the same thing last night when he texted Happy Birthday to him last night.
Howard said Beth is on her way. He said he hears her. Howard asked him to listen to her. Beth came in and said she's assuming that this is the Ralph situation. Howard said he needs her help. He said that he's been begging Ronnie for 2 hours. He told her what's happening.
Howard said Beth was so excited about this. Beth said that this is the moment that they've been waiting for. She said we need this. She said just say someone and don't even vote. She said that just say a name. Ronnie said that's not being honest. Robin said he can be honest without any consequences.
Beth said that this is show history. Ronnie said he doesn't like this. Beth said just say a name it's so easy. Ronnie said that it's not. Howard said he bowed to Ronnie. He said he's not even a man now. Beth asked what she can do. Howard said nothing.
Beth said that it's the weekend. She said come on Ronnie. She said it's silly at this point. Beth asked Ronnie Puppet who he's voting for. Ronnie Puppet said that if she puts on a bikini and puts a dildo in his ass maybe he'll tell her.
Beth said he's family and he has to tell them. She said no one even cares. She said just say a name and go vote for who you want to vote for. Beth said they're going to lose this moment. She said that she called Ralph saying whatever he says she has his support. Ralph said maybe he's going to say he's straight. Howard said all they have to do is get Ronnie to say who he's voting for.
Ronnie said that he made a decision and he's sticking to it. He said he just doesn't want to say it because of general principle.
Beth said there's nothing she can do at this point. She said she thought she was going to be talking to Ralph right know and giving him love and support. Howard said they could have finally gotten the answer. He said they would have known the answer finally.
Beth said maybe Ralph will tell her. Howard said try. Beth said she's voting for Biden. She asked if he's gay or straight. Ralph wasn't answering. Howard said Ralph made it this way. Ralph said it wasn't him, it was a caller.
Howard told Beth to tell Ronnie why he'd be her hero. Beth said she already loves him. She said she loves him so much. She asked what Stephanie thinks about this. Ronnie said she's at work in surgery today. Beth said that they love Ronnie so much. Ronnie said that has nothing to do with this. He said he should want to reveal this.
Beth said that Howard probably just wants to go up and have lunch. She said he'd be a hero right now if he just said it. She said just say who he's voting for and then Ralph will take over. Howard said he's begging. Ronnie said he's not voting. Robin said that's why he doesn't want to speak. Ronnie said he's not voting. Howard said he's not telling the truth.
Howard said they almost had their answer. He said that they could have had it. Beth said she thought they were going to have an answer. Beth said if he revealed he was gay she would have been totally fine and told him he's finally free. Beth said she and Howard have been debating this for 20 years. Howard said she said it the first night that she liked his gay friend. Beth said she liked Ralph and wanted to go shopping with him that night.
Beth asked if Howard would let her sleep over at Ralph's house if he was gay. Howard said no way. Beth said she has to go finish her vacuuming. Howard said hurry up because he'll be up soon.
Howard asked Ronnie who he's voting for. Ronnie didn't answer. Beth said she was about to pull up her shirt if he said. Howard said she was going to flash if he said. Beth said she's been in a lot of bikini photos so he didn't need to see that. Beth said this is sad. She ran off. Ralph asked if he can go now. Howard said pay no attention to a text from a guy with a bunch of U's in it. Howard said Ronnie turned down the flashing thing so something must be wrong with him.
Howard took a call from a terminally ill child. The fake kid tried to beg him to share. That made JD crack up. Howard asked what's so funny. JD said that was just a funny call. He said that nothing will change his mind. Howard said he gives up then.
Benjy asked if Ronnie is really voting. Ronnie said he is. Howard said he's trying to hit the goal but he can't hit it. He said he has to apologize to the audience. He said don't hate Ronnie for this. He said that he could have made for some great radio but he made his decision and they have to respect it. He said he tried everything he could and wasn't able to pull it off.
Howard took a call from a guy who went off on Ronnie about not coming through for the show. He said he's fucking up the show on all of us. He said he takes it up the ass but he won't help find out about Ralph taking it in the ass. Howard said he's apologizing to everyone in the audience for this. The caller said it's time to get rid of the dead weight and let him go to Las Vegas. He said he should put two phone books under his ass so he can see out the window. Howard said it's just one phone book. Ralph was laughing at the idea of him on two phone books. Ralph said he really has to go.
Robin said they should have Beth call Stephanie. Hard said Ronnie should do it for him and they shouldn't have to get her involved. Robin said maybe she's only hearing his side and he's not giving both sides. Howard asked if he would change his mind if he got her to change her mind. Ronnie said no. He said they discussed it last night.
Ralph said that they're not even married. He said that he's not sure what it has to do with her. Ronnie said why not. He said they discussed it together.
Howard said Ralph's secret is safe. Ronnie and Chris were arguing again. Chris said maybe he can stop trying on the show once he gets a billboard in Atlantic City. He said he'd do anything for Howard. He said that's all that matters at the end of the day. Ronnie said what a guy. Chris said Howard has been more of a father to him than his own father. Ronnie said he's happy for him. Howard said Chris is the gay son he never had.
Howard said the show is officially over. He said that they're in overtime. Robin said her internet has gone down. Howard said she's been off the show 3 times already.
Howard said he's in pain right now because Ronnie didn't come through for him. Ralph said Ronnie is ruining his Wednesday. Howard said he has to apologize to his staff. Robin asked if he's sorry he made this such a big part of the show today. Howard said yes. He said he thought Ronnie would have done it for the show and they could have gotten to Ralph.
Howard said he is freaked out that this is such a big deal. He said that it's all spun out of control and he's not sure why. He said he just asked Ronnie to do him a favor as a friend. He said he chose not to for whatever reason. He said that it's turned into a whole thing now. He said he can't do it because of his manhood. He said don't do it and that's it. He said he has to let it go.
Howard said its killing him because he knew it would be great radio. He said he was asking Ronnie to help him out and he didn't do it. He said for whatever reason it is he won't help. He said that's it and he has to accept it.
Ralph laughed and said the funniest part is that he won't give it up. Howard said he was so close to getting the answer. Ralph said he has to go. Howard asked what he has to do. Ralph wasn't saying. Chris said he's going to a circle jerk. Howard said he has nothing to do.
Benjy asked if there's any part of Ronnie that wants to change his mind. Ronnie said no. Howard said he's never begged another man in his life. Ralph said he doesn't care about anyone and that's why he's voting for Trump.
Howard took a call from a woman who said Ronnie is a big disappointment. Ronnie thanked her for that.
Howard took a call from Michael Rapaport who went off on Ralph and told him to go the fuck away. Ralph and Michael talked over each other for a minute. Howard said he has to go pee. He thanked Michael and hung up on him. He thanked Ralph for calling in.
Benjy said he thinks he has the power to get Ronnie to reveal. He said it hurts him that he's not convincing him. Howard said he has to give up now and go have his life.
Howard said he bowed to the guy. He said he did a full bow to him. Benjy asked if it's hurting Ronnie that he's hurting Howard's reputation. Ronnie asked what that means. Howard wrapped up and apologized again for not delivering the goods.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking about his failure. He said he feels like that cult leader in The Vow but if he failed at getting anyone to do anything for him.
Howard said Ronnie still has a friend in him. He said he's still his friend but he wouldn't go to war with him.
Howard asked Gary what his assessment is. Gary said Beth's enthusiasm was incredible. He said in six months no one will care about who Ronnie voted for but everyone will care about Ralph forever. He said think about how much time it would take to go through Ralph's life. He said he wants to know how it all started... if he's gay.
Howard said he wants to ask him about all the times he said he was straight. He said he really has to go now. He said he has to sum it up. He tanked Ralph and said that Ronnie is still his friend. Howard sang to Ronnie ''You've Got a Friend in Me'' and added his own lyrics to it. Ronnie Puppet sang that ''Stephanie's got a dildo in me.''
Howard said Ronnie is his friend for life. He said everyone have a wonderful weekend. He said he's going to debate this the rest of his life. Ralph said he has to go meet his boyfriend now. Benjy was still going on and on so Howard said the show is over and cut him off. He ended the show around 11:10am.