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Howard started the show talking about how he had trouble getting there today. He said there was a water main break and they had to drive around to get there. He said thank god for Ronnie knowing his way there. He said he would have just gone back to bed if he had to get there himself. He said he's been up since 1:30 this morning so he's grumpy and today's show is going to be like that. He said if you don't like it then tune into something else there on Sirius. He said they have plenty to listen to. He said he's going to be very negative.
Howard said yesterday was his birthday. He said Rob Zombie's birthday was yesterday too. He said he hasn't seen Rob in a long time. He said Rob wrote to him asking if their birthdays are coming every 6 months now. He said Robin always spoils him with gifts but she can stop that. Robin said he did say this is the last one he's celebrating. Howard said it is.
Howard said he had a nice day with Beth. He said they started out just hanging out. He said he painted with his man Rick who has taught him how to paint. He said he had a lot of difficulty and he came over and advised him. Gary said Memet has something for him this morning. He said he wanted to give it to him before the show. Howard asked if he has to do it now. Gary said not necessarily. Howard said he has a lot of stuff to get to. Gary said they can do it later. Howard said if it's funny then they can do it. He said if Gary is interrupting then it must be good.
Howard said he knows he'll end up yelling at Memet. Memet came in and said he didn't ask for this. He said it's stupid. He said it's a refrigerator magnet with Dr. Now quotes reminding him not to eat. Howard said he likes that. He said he and Beth watched a marathon of My 600 Pound Life. He said they had like 25 episodes on the DIR.
Howard said this guy Dr. Now is from Iran or somewhere. He said he has this accent and he sounds like this. He did his impression of him for a second. Memet said he talks like this and he said he loves when they argue with him.
Howard did his impression of the people on the show arguing with the doctor. Robin asked why Gary thought that was a bad gift. Howard said he's not sure why he interrupted with that.
Howard took a call from Paul Bobo who said he has a wife and a 16 year old daughter and a 12 year old son and they have no combined interests but they were all mesmerized by that show. Howard said he and his wife love it too. He said they like the TLC programming. He said they don't like the hoarders but they like the 1000 pound sisters. Robin said she had to bail out on that. Robin said she was trying to watch them trying to load into a car and it was just sad. She said they had those exercise things and they couldn't use them. Howard said their fat got in the way.
Paul said the girl was trying to get into the car and she got wedged into the back seat. He said they had to call the fire department to get them out. Howard said he told his mom to watch because his dad would get really upset with them. He said his mother doesn't want to see other people's misery.
Paul said it sounds like the voiceover is cut together like an audio book there on the show. Howard said he knows but he doesn't care. He said they can do what they have to do to make that show work.
Howard said you want to see that they look worse at the end of the show. He said he loves that show. He let Paul go.
Howard said he yells at the screen when he watches. He said he goes off on them if they drink soda or something. Robin said the person drinking the soda knows that. Howard said one of the women said that she was told if they drink diet soda it balances out all of the food they eat and they can lose weight. He said Dr. Now tells her that obviously isn't working.
Howard said he loves that show. He said he can't watch it online but they have a follow up to that show. He said it's just online. He said they need him over there to program that channel for them.
Robin said she likes The Morning Show with Jennifer Aniston. She said it's a great show. She said she just finished it this past weekend. She said it's really good and everyone on it is really good. She said you don't see certain things coming.
Howard said he has some recommendations. Robin said Dracula was great on Netflix. Howard said he just started The Mandalorian. He said Robin will love it. Robin asked if he gets it for free. Howard said he's a Verizon customer and he's getting it for free. Robin said she is too but she's not getting it free. Howard said he thinks it's Verizon. He said The Mandalorian is part of the Star Wars thing and it's really good. He said it's about a Bounty Hunter.
Robin said there are some good things out there on Netflix and Disney and Apple TV. Howard asked Robin if they bomb out on her sometimes. Robin said sometimes when she turns it on. She said she has to sign in again. Howard said that makes him crazy.
Howard said he tried calling Robin about her gift but she was busy. He said he got her call. He said he didn't have a free minute yesterday. Robin said she expected that.
Howard said he doesn't have any free time anymore. He said they have work but it's only 3 days a week. He said he's busier than ever with just 3 days. Robin said he determines how he spends his time. Howard said he really doesn't. He said other people do. He said he's always getting ready for work.
Robin said she was hoping the gift she got him would help with his organization. Howard thanked her for that.
Howard said he was up at 1:30 and he had his mind on stuff. He said he wasn't able to go back to sleep. He said he spent time talking to Ronnie about going to Mexico. He said it was like 80 down there. Robin said it wasn't so bad up there either.
Howard said he was born in a blizzard. He said yesterday it was 63 degrees out in Central Park. He said people were out in their shorts. He said he went out bundled up just thinking that it was going to be cold later. He said he stayed bundled up. He said he had to go home and take a shower.
Howard said he went out to dinner at 5:30 yesterday. He said it was really good. He said he was trying to figure out what to do and he wanted to get a pizza. He said Beth said they were getting dressed up and going out. He said she takes the shittiest parts of him and makes them better.
Howard said he was thanking Beth for making him better. He said he shows him light in a dark world. Robin said the light is out there, he just has his eyes closed. Howard said he's just telling her what he said to his wife. He said he gets yelled at over it. He said he told his wife that he hopes she's still glad she married him. He said he was expressing his gratitude toward her. He said she makes him feel alive. He said he appreciates her so much. He said she looked at him like he was insane. He said she deserves a Kennedy Center award.
Howard said Beth is so good with saving the animals and all of that. He said he inspires her. He said she let him crawl on top of her for his birthday too. He said that was nice.
Howard said he did really well with his stamina. He said the Peloton helps him with that. He said his stamina is really good now. He said he thought he could give it to her hard. He said she told him lets see what you've got. He said she got into bed and she wasn't wearing underwear. He said that makes him nuts. He said she teases him saying she may not wear underwear out. He said he doesn't want her doing that.
Howard said he was ready to go. He said he was all worked up. He said she let him know in the afternoon that he might get something special. He said he can do Peloton for 45 minutes and work up a good sweat. He said he doesn't ignore anything that his instructor says now. Robin said he's getting good then. Howard said he uses Jenn Sherman for his instructor. He said he tried to change but he likes her. He said she sings too much but that's his only criticism.
Howard said he's impressed with her knowing all of the lyrics. He said she seems to do it organically too. He said she'll have a song like a Tom Petty song and she'll know all of the lyrics.
Robin asked if he worries that his body will adjust to the same routine. Howard said he has a schedule. He said that keeps him interested. He said he doesn't do it every day. Robin said they say you should vary your workouts. She said your body has to adjust to it. Howard said he's just happy he can do anything. He said Jenn is good. He said he has tried the others but he's attached to her. He said she shouts out to him occasionally too. He said people will say ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' and she knows what that means. He said he likes all of that.
Howard said he has a pathetic life. He said he has to do something to stay in the game.
Howard said Harvey Weinstein is on the phone to wish him a happy birthday. He took the call from Fake Harvey who said they are a lot alike and they don't let the haters get to them. He said that they are called accusers or Ronan Farrow or some combination of that.
Howard said he sounds pretty even keeled with all that's going on. Harvey said yeah he is. He said he has to go. Howard let him go after that. Howard wondered what you do all day if you're accused of something like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the Khaleesi is in a movie on Netflix and there's a nude scene in it. He said it's called ''Voice from the Stone.'' Howard said he's not sure if he's interested in that.
Howard said Hillary Clinton is on the phone to wish him a happy birthday. He took the call from fake Hillary who asked him to be her running mate. Howard said he's going to pass on that.
Howard said he was thinking about the awards shows that are on. He said that the Golden Globes honor film and TV but they don't do anything with radio. He said radio has big reach. He said millions listen to it and it has a bigger audience than films do. He said they should give radio people something. Robin said they'd have to come up with different categories for people who are on the shows. Howard said he's not sure why radio isn't entertainment. Robin said it is. Howard said they have to do something for Paul Harvey and people like that. He said he'd be okay with them honoring Rush Limbaugh. He said you may not like it but it is a performance. Robin said it's an idiotic performance. She said they might as well give one to Hitler too.
Howard said Rosie O'Donnell is on the phone to wish him a happy birthday too. He had Fake Rosie on the line talking about being on a family cruise. She said they should hang out more. She said she has a buffet of Metamucil crackers set up for him. Howard said you should see his movements with those crackers in his diet. Rosie had a few more cracks about Howard before he let her go. Howard said that's a damn good impression.
Howard said he wishes Robin would take Metamucil. He said he thinks she'd love it. He said he never has to force anything out back there. He said you should see how full and fluffy he is now. He said they taste good too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he changed his life. He said he was very big and he went to yogurt and blueberry and Metamucil and he managed to lose 70 pounds. The caller said it gave him a way to enjoy all of that and he went on to eat healthy. He said he was a big fatso and he was up at 300 pounds but he's losing weight and he wants to lose another 40. He said Howard is the longest relationship he's had in his life. He said he's been listening since 10th grade. Howard said if more people listened to him they'd lose weight. The caller thanked him for making his mornings wonderful every day.
Howard said you know what the guy meant. He said he should have said that he's saying things that people are afraid to say.
Howard said so much stuff is obvious to him. He said he doesn't drink or smoke weed. Robin said he would drink if he could. Howard said he would but it has an effect on him so his doctor told him not to. He said he lives the sober life. He said you can stop yourself from doing anything. Robin said not if you have a chemical imbalance.
Howard said he was sitting around a lot this weekend. He said this Iran knocked a plane out of the sky. He said they're so lame and incompetent that they don't know how to use their equipment over there. Robin said they don't need nuclear weapons over there when you have that music and stampeding people at a funeral.
Howard said the General who gave the command to knock that plane out of the sky is named Salami. He said they don't know what they're doing over there. He said they knocked a passenger plane out of the sky. He said this guy says he's sorry now. He said he says he wishes he was on that plane and crashed and burned. He said that's what he said in a speech. Robin said it's real people who died and this General Salami can't get it together.
Howard said when Groucho Marx was the head of that country in that movie he must have been named Salami. Robin asked if he eats Salami. Howard said he did when he was a kid. He said he hasn't lately.
Robin said she loves that it's just like children when they break something the first thing they do is deny it. She said after a while they admit they did it.
Howard took a call from one of the guys in the back who thanked him for the Metamucil suggestion. He was on the bowl shitting as he was on the phone. Howard kept him on for a few minutes making shit jokes while the sound effects were going
Howard said he has to take a break and get to more Year in Review and stuff like that. Howard said he was busy with Oprah's Instagram all weekend. He said what makes him crazy about her is that they gave her 50 million there at SiriusXM and she put no effort into it. He said now she gets zero from Instagram and she puts 100 percent effort into it. Robin said she has other things going on like Weight Watchers and Apple TV. Howard said she should be putting all of that effort into those things. He said it makes him nuts. He went to break after that.
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Howard said he was reading about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and they want to change things up and not be lead Royals. He said they don't want to be in line for the king. Robin said it's not that. She said they have some royals who work as royals and they want to give that up.
Howard said he was looking at it from Prince Harry's point of view. He said when he was a little boy he lost his mother for the stupidest reason in the world. He said the Paparazzi were so insane. He said he lost his mother because they were chasing her in a car and the driver got crazy from all of that and tried to escape. He said just slow down and let them take pictures. He said from the little boy's standpoint he lost his mother. Robin said he has admitted that he has had a lot of problems from that. Howard said he is an admirable kid having gone into the military and all of that. Robin said they do a lot of charity work. Howard said he meets a girl and her father is black and her mother is white. He said they have a history of slave trade over there in England. He said there's a lot of racial shit going down. He said Harry meets her and they fall in love and the tabloid press gets access to them over there. He said they start commenting on her. He said he lost his mother to the Paparazzi and his wife is getting it in the press over there.
Howard said they say things like she has ''exotic DNA'' and make a big deal about that. He said she has a shitty relationship with her father too. He said they publish all of that. He said she's home dealing with that and going apeshit. He said she's going so nuts that she's going to end up like Lady Di. He said Harry must see it that way. He said what Harry is saying is that he's going to flip the bird to the press and stop doing it.
Howard said he admires his courage for walking away from it all. He said he's walking away from about $3 million bucks. Robin said they say his personal worth is like 35 million. Howard said they're going to try to have a different life. He said Fergie did the same thing. He said she came to the United States to have a lower profile. He said maybe it will work for them. He said maybe not. Robin said none of them have been able to walk away and make a living. Howard said that's because they're out of it when it comes to reality. He said he gets why the kid is freaked out. He said he lost his mom. He said he's cutting him some slack. He said if they want to pick up another guy he'd love to live in a castle.
Howard said anyone who has had struggles in their life looks at them and wishes they had that life. He said you don't know what it's like though. Robin said Meghan has been out there in real life so it's odd that she's having the problems. Howard said they have a kid now and they don't want to do it. He said he's giving Harry props for giving that up. He said he has always hated the Monarchy. He said he gets that it brings people over there to see it. He said we should applaud this because he's trying to change it up. Robin said Prince Charles is trying to change it too. She said they kicked Prince Andrew out because Charles wants to slim down the family anyway. Howard said they do that so the tax payers don't have to pay so much.
Howard said he likes this kid's decision. He said that's what he had to say about that. He said he does have to kill four hours so that's why he's talking about that. Robin said what he needs is the Queen's blessing.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard this Oprah talk earlier. He said he knows that she has an issue with weight loss. Howard said she's the head of Weight Watchers. He said if you are the head of that company you had better lose weight. He said his argument is bullshit. The caller said she is relateable as a fat chick. Howard said then go to Weight Watchers. He said he'll look like a fat chick.
The caller said he knows what being fat is like. Howard said he was fat too. He asked what the caller wants from him. The guy told him he can eat and stop with the small portions. Howard hung up on the guy. He said he's telling him what to eat. He said it's a ridiculous conversation.
Howard took a call from Pocket who said he sees a trend with Oprah who gets with a brand and then bails on them. He said she gets her payday and then bails. Howard said she does. Pocket said she did that with Apple TV.
Howard said maybe he'll play some Oprah clips. He said he saw something on a show he was watching. He said it was on Jimmy Kimmel's show. He said he sent him some birthday gifts. He said he's not sure why he did that. He said he sent him outfits to work out in. He said that's usually what a guy buys a woman. He said that's what he'd get for Beth. He said Jimmy sent him 4 boxes of stuff. He said it's all outfits to wear while he works out. He said he must want to get into his pants. He said it was very sweet of him.
Howard said Jimmy does that same thing for Molly. He said he's going to end up taking him shopping like Pretty Woman.
Howard said he wore the thing for like a minute before he got annoyed with it. He said he threw it away. Howard said Beth got him a book of paintings by this guy Richard Parks Bonnington. He said he only live to 27 years old but what a body of work he had. He said he was a genius. He said his pencil drawings are awesome.
Howard said he'd like to have an Apple Watch. He said that he has some uses for it but he won't wear one. He said he doesn't want to be texted and emailed on the thing. He said there's a way you can talk into it and it will email your comments to you. He said he'd love to have it for that. He said it would be very useful.
Howard said the NY Times had an article about wearing these things and they do radiate something that can affect your body. He said he can't wear one. He said they say they don't know a fucking thing about what they do to you. He said they say that you wear it on your skin for 12 hours a day and they don't know the effects of it. Howard said they're looking into cancer and things like that. He said he wants it but he won't get it.
Robin said Howard said he doesn't want Alexa either. Howard said he doesn't like that either. He said Siri is an asshole. He said he doesn't think it works the way it's supposed to. He said he can set an alarm with it and that's about it.
Howard said now they have Siri with an attitude. He said if he asks her what Robin Quivers makes she should just tell him. He said she doesn't have any information for him and doesn't know how to get it. He said he's an Apple guy but he won't use Siri anymore.
Howard asked if Robin likes it. Robin said she might have to hear it a few more times. Howard said Taylor played with Alanis Morissette and he had to play for Dave when he heard him. He said that Alanis was ticked at the time. He said Taylor formed this great relationship with Dave and now he has his own thing going on.
JD found another song by Taylor with Perry Farrell on the song. Howard played some of that too. Howard said that sounds pretty good too. He said he'll check it out.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said Siri really does suck. He said that he uses Alexa instead to ask questions. He said it's amazing.
Ralph said that he saw that article that Howard was talking about. He said as long as he doesn't have the cell chip in it then it's fine to wear. Howard said he wants the cell chip. He said he didn't read the article. He said they say the chances are improved it you don't have the cell chip. He said Ralph didn't read the whole thing. Ralph said he did and he quoted a few things to him. Howard told him to read the whole thing. Ralph said he's reading into it. Howard said keep your Apple watch on then. He said in the 50s they told you to smoke because it made you healthier. He said they said vaping was healthier too. Howard said he's the one telling you not to.
Ralph said the Apple Watch isn't like smoking. Ralph said he has had it since day one and he's fine. Howard said he's seen what's going on with him and he's not fine. He said he's vomiting at Christmas parties. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who said Ronnie doesn't seem that interested in his job anymore. Howard said some of the guys around there feel that way too. He said he doesn't think so. He said the guys think that he missed the show and went to a wedding in Mexico with his rich buddies. He said the Ronnie he met wasn't in that world at all. He said now Ronnie is in that world. He said he didn't tell him that he was officiating that wedding. Howard said he wasn't all that worked up about the whole thing but the guys were upset that he went on a Wednesday morning when the wedding was on Saturday. He asked why he kept it a secret that he was officiating. Ronnie said he was keeping it quiet for the guy. He said that Kurt was there and this whole group was down there. He said he met them all through Kurt. He said there's a whole group that hangs out. He said they all live in Vegas. Howard said they have some bucks. Ronnie said no they don't. Howard said the Ronnie he knew never would have missed a day of work. He said he never would have missed a day of work. Ronnie said he did last year. He said it was with the same group.
Howard said the guy could have waited. He asked why he didn't go on Thursday. Ronnie said they had rehearsals and stuff.
Will came in and said that no one there misses a work day unless it's really important. He said it seemed odd that Ronnie left on a Wednesday. He said it seemed odd. Howard said he seemed less bummed out about it than Will did.
Ronnie said he's not sure why they're pissed off. He said Robin has that look on her face. Robin said she's not pissed. She said that he was hired to do a job and he's out doing this. Howard said it is kind of weird. Jim said he put that group ahead of the show. Howard said these friends he got through the show. He said he met Kurt through the show.
Will said that Ronnie is working on this so when he moves to Vegas he has friends out there. Ronnie said he has to do that because that's what you do when you move. Will asked why he can't do it on his own time. Ronnie said how about just minding your own business.
Howard said he heard Ronnie asked Shuli to help him write some stuff but he blew him off. Ronnie said he went out and did it on his own. Shuli came in and said that he didn't follow up with him. Ronnie said he never said a word. Shuli said he never told him who these people were. Ronnie said he would have if he had come back to him. He said he didn't tell him shit to spread around. Howard said he's just hearing shit, shit and bullshit. Ronnie said that he's not sharing that information with Shuli. He said he shares it with everyone there.
Howard asked Ronnie about being asked to officiate the wedding. He asked if he stands there and marries them. Ronnie said he did. He said it was a small amount of people. Howard said it had to be a goof. He asked if he had to throw in some ''cunts'' in there. Ronnie said not at all. He said that's not what they were looking for. Howard asked what they were looking for. Ronnie said he asked what he was looking for. Howard asked why they hired him. Ronnie said they didn't hire him. He said it was 30 people and he wasn't hired. He said he just did it.
Howard asked how they treat him. Ronnie said he's not a dancing monkey. Shuli asked if Kurt was there. Ronnie said he was. Shuli said he thought that he was upset with Kurt for the way he treated him.
Shuli said that he never followed up with him so he never was able to help him out. Howard said Ronnie asked and he waited to hear back from him. Shuli said he's helped Ronnie before. He said he has done private roasts and stuff. He said he could have helped him. Ronnie said Shuli never followed up. He said he asked someone to help and he said okay but then never followed up. He said he's not chasing after anyone. He said Shuli could have set up something. Robin said Ronnie should have set it up.
Ronnie said Shuli said he forgot about it so that's fine. He did it on his own. Howard said he could have sat down with him for an hour to come up with stuff. Shuli said he can't even trust him to do it though. Howard said that's right because he said he didn't want him spreading the information around. Shuli asked what he should have done. Ronnie said all he had to say was that he should call him on this day and they'll sit down and do it. He said Shuli is busy so he should have set it up.
Howard said Shuli could have set it up. He said he could have sent himself an email or something to remind himself. Ronnie said that would have been fine. Howard said Ronnie felt blown off. Ronnie said he's not going to beg him for anything. Howard said he felt funny asking him to do it. Shuli said he has so many rules. Ronnie said he has no rules, dude.
Ronnie said they didn't record it and if they did they aren't giving it to Shuli. Howard said they had to have recorded it. He said he's going to get it. Ronnie said he's not getting it. Howard said he will. He said that the guy is going to send it to him. Shuli said these people will drop the dime on him. He said he thinks he can't be trusted but it's these people who can't be trusted.
Robin said that Ronnie is the one crapping on the show and leaving early to go down and hang with the guys. Jim said he had weeks off. Ronnie said he's not saying anything. Jim asked if he brought anything back for the show. Ronnie said he brought a sun tan back.
Howard asked if he did it straight or did he do it funny. Ronnie said he did some of both. He said he did some searching on the internet and put it together. Howard said he could have asked Fred or Benjy to help him out too. Ronnie said he did fine on his own.
Howard said if he had shared with Shuli he would have known who this guy was. Ronnie said he blew him off and he didn't follow up so he did it himself. Howard said he was upset about it. Ronnie said he's not upset with him. He said he doesn't even need to be in there. He said he told Stephanie that Shuli must be busy and he'll sit there and look up shit and do it himself. Shuli said he's sorry he didn't get back to him but he doesn't like that he doesn't trust him. He said he would have kept it under wraps until he got back.
Ronnie said he thought he could have helped him out but he sees that can't work. Robin said this is all unspoken. She said he didn't ask him to keep it between them. Ronnie said he said that in the beginning. He said he asked him to keep it quiet. Shuli said he kept it quiet. Ronnie said someone told the show that he was officiating the wedding. Howard said he heard it all. Jim asked why the big secret. Ronnie said he didn't want to fuck with the guy's wedding. Howard said they would have wanted to hear about that on the show. Ronnie said they didn't.
Howard said he doesn't think the guy would have cared if they heard about their wedding on the show. Ronnie said he would have if it was before the wedding. Shuli said Ronnie is such a weird dude. Robin said he really is. Howard asked if Shuli had betrayed him before. Ronnie said many times. He said every fucking thing he ever did with him wound up on the air. He said it always did.
Howard asked if being there was more important than being on the show. Ronnie said no but they changed some things and he had to be down there on Wednesday. Jim said he had to go down and play preacher down in Mexico.
Shuli said he has to hear this audio from the wedding. Ronnie said he's not going to do that. Howard said maybe he'll release it to them if he calls. Ronnie said he's in Mexico on his honeymoon. Howard said just call the guy and ask. Ronnie said if he is then he's happy for him. Howard said just ask. Ronnie said he'll probably say no.
Howard said he wants Shuli to listen in on the call so they know what he says. Ronnie said he's going to call his rich buddies to do that. He said one of his buddies has a new advertisement starting today on the show. He mentioned the name of the company.
Howard asked if he did a good job at the wedding. Ronnie said they said he did a good job. He said there weren't that many people there.
Howard said one of the women from the wedding is on the phone. He took the call and the fake caller had some clips of Ronnie yelling out ''cunt'' and saying ''get rid of these fucking wive shits'' and things like that. They had quotes of Ronnie from other weddings like Bubba the Love Sponge's wedding. They had Ronnie yelling his famous lines.
Howard said this sounds like the same speech from Jeffrey Epstein's wedding. Howard let the fake caller go and congratulated Ronnie. He said Shuli is on the outs with Ronnie now. Ronnie said they're fine. He said he talked to him this morning.
Howard said they've been through a lot of shit together. He said it's weird that he didn't give him 5 minutes. Ronnie said Shuli has a lot going on and he's happy that he does. Howard said it would have been nice if he had called him. Shuli said it would have been nice to give him a direction too. Ronnie said he didn't sit down with him to do that.
Fred did a Mad Libs kind of thing as Ronnie asking Shuli to fill in the spaces for his speech.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he mentioned Howard Stern in his speech. Ronnie said not once did he mention him. Robin said he's so angry about that whole thing. Ronnie said they're backing him up against the wall with this shit. Howard asked Ronnie Puppet if he mentioned the show. Ronnie Puppet had some things to say about that. He made up other things Ronnie could have said at the wedding.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie ever does a bad job. He said he's not sure why they're busting his balls. Howard said he was just asking questions. Shuli said everyone gets their balls busted on the show. Ronnie said he heard he was getting hammered on the show last week. Howard said he didn't get hammered. He said he just explained why he wasn't on the show last Wednesday.
Howard said he didn't Tweet once down there in Cabo. He said he tweets at the show. Ronnie said he doesn't tweet while he's on the show. Howard said that's because they had to stop him.
Shuli said Stephanie put out a nice picture of Ronnie staring out the window. Ronnie said that's what he does all the time. He likes to look out the window. Howard said he took him to California and he stared out the window the entire 6 hours.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's sounding jealous about losing his buddy. Howard said he doesn't want to lose him. He said he's just asking what happened. He said that's not jealous. The caller said he never hears Howard talking about the other staffer friends. Howard said he just wants to know what's going on. He said sometimes Ronnie doesn't read the situation properly. He said he's just looking out for Ronnie.
Howard said he was concerned that they were treating him like Beetlejuice. He said he just wanted to know. Shuli said when you think about doing a wedding you don't think Ronnie.
Howard said it was unusual and that's all he's saying. He said he just wanted to know what went on. He said they didn't hire Ronnie to be in an Adam Sandler movie because he's a good actor. He said High Pitch Erik was a back up for Ronnie. He said he's just looking out for his guys.
Howard said he heard Wendy the Slow Adult was the flower girl. Ronnie said this guy's kids were the flower girls.
Shuli asked what got them emotional at the wedding. Ronnie said he had an emotional moment when he talked about the couple. He said it was a combination of the vows and what he wrote. Howard asked if he could read it the way he did it down there. Ronnie said he'll have to ask the guy. Howard said he doesn't have to use their names. Ronnie said he just wants to know if it's okay.
Howard asked if the said anything inappropriate in front of the kids. Ronnie said they actually did in front of him. He said they weren't little kids. He said they were 18 and up. Howard asked who the hottest chick was at the wedding. Ronnie said he's not going to say. He said the bride was.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he's cracking up about them goofing on Ronnie and saying they're worried about him being goofed on. He said they say they don't want him getting goofed on but then they play tapes of him saying stupid things. Howard said he just doesn't want him being treated like Beetlejuice.
Howard said he just wants to be sure they're not goofing on him. Ralph said it might be funny if they did. Howard said he'd like to hear the tape. Ronnie said they had someone else in mind but they asked him if he wanted to do it and he didn't have to say yes. He said they had another guy lined up if he didn't want to do it. Ronnie said he thought about it for a week and talked to Stephanie about it. He said she thought it would be good.
Howard said it sounds great. He said he has a song about Ronnie in Mexico. He played the song about Ronnie missing work to go to Mexico.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Jackie the Joke Man impression. Sour Jackie had some jokes for Ronnie to use down in Mexico. He was telling joke after joke like Jackie might do. Howard said Ronnie would have had some speech. Ronnie said now he calls. Howard was cracking up at the goofy jokes Sour was telling. Robin was laughing too. Sour got in some plugs like Jackie would do too.
Howard asked for one last killer joke for Ronnie. Sour told one and had Howard laughing. Howard said he's shocked that he didn't make it in Hollywood as a script puncher upper. Sour kept going with the impression of Jackie and talked about how they were the Beatles of Radio. He slipped into his Artie impression and told some stories about seeing Jackie at a comedy club and things like that. Howard thanked Sour Jackie and Sour Artie for calling in. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said Shuli has a new Underdog interview. Shuli said this is from Halloween and it was held over. He said she goes to New Jersey and dresses up as Spectrum the Ghost King. He said she has a couple of characters she created. He said she has the ice princess too. Howard asked how often he talks to her. Shuli said twice a week. He said she's available 2 days a week so that's how often he talks to her.
Howard said he'll get to this as long as he's in there. Howard had a clip of Underdog talking about what she'd be doing that night of Halloween. She talked about going out on the beach in costume. She said she'd be out there with David, her long time boyfriend. Shuli said he talks to her twice a week and he had no idea she was dating.
Howard played a clip of Shuli trying to get information out of her about this David guy. Underdog said they correspond regularly. Shuli asked if things have ever even romantic. Underdog gave him a stern ''No!'' when he asked. She said he comes around to watch her in the parades. Shuli asked if she has ever given him a Vampire kiss. She didn't answer because her phone rang. She picked up and said that the number was David's and she didn't answer.
Howard asked if this guy is real. He said that this is a friend with no benefits at all. Jason asked if she's trying to make him jealous. Shuli said she may be. He said in the next clip she talks about other boyfriends. Howard played that clip and Underdog was talking about her boy friends who aren't sweethearts with her. She said that the three men live far apart from one another. She said only one is in the singles club she's talking about.
Underdog said that Shuli is a family man so she doesn't consider him one of the boy friends. Howard said Underdog is upset that he's making fun of her now. He took a call from fake Underdog who went off on him for making her look like a fool. She was talking about David who is a real man unlike Howard who is a Satanist from hell.
Howard said Underdog refuses to come on the show. He said they asked her to come in for Hollyweird Squares but she refused. He played a clip where she said she didn't want to do it. She was turned off by it when Howard had her on his channel 9 show many years ago.
Howard said Shuli tried to convince her that he has changed but she doesn't buy it. Shuli said he once got her to giggle when he told her that he likes to rescue animals. Howard played a clip of Shuli telling Underdog that Howard Stern has changed since that show she was on 27 years ago. Underdog said she is still being hounded in the disrespectful manner that dates to the beginning. Shuli said people have always made fun of her but she's taking it all out on Howard. Howard said good job with that.
Howard asked if he went to a doctor for this. Brent said he did and he will be taking more tests. He said he was told to stop taking Ibuprofin and stop drinking diet soda. He said he was told that weed is fine though. Brent said they say that the stuff in the soda can cause migraines. Ronnie said that Stephanie drinks a lot of diet soda too. Brent said it's the sweet taste that gets you. Jason said just drink the regular soda. Brent said it's loaded with regular sugar. Howard said if the fat people on My 600 Pound Life stopped drinking it they'd lose a ton.
Howard said this one girl is drinking 12-13 sodas a day. He said they get this super size cup that's got to be 72 ounces at least.
Howard said Brent has a bad situation going on. He said he thinks he's under a lot of pressure with this swinging thing. He said he thinks this is from psychological pain. Jason said he has to ask him about his blood pressure. Howard said he was going crazy listening to that show that day. Brent said he's fine with all of that. Ronnie said he's not fine.
Jason told him to tell Howard about his blood pressure. Brent said it was 190 over 106. Howard said that's really bad. Brent said he knows. Howard said this has to be from the pressure from the swinging. Howard said he got all upset about the Jackhammer guy.
Robin asked Brent what it's from then. Brent said it's not stress. He said his family has a history of anxiety. Robin said this all seems to be adding up. She said he's not overweight or anything. Robin asked why his blood pressure is so high. Howard said he knows why. He said he's not letting Jackhammer get close to his wife.
Gary said ask what you've introduced into your life recently and take that out. Brent said that's fair. Ronnie said just try being with this wife for 6 months and skip swinging. He said maybe bring a girl into it once if you really have to do something. Gary said he was making so much sense. Howard said he was making a lot of sense for a moment. He said leave everyone out of the relationship.
Howard said read Dr. John Sarno's books too. Brent said he used to hear him talk about him. Howard said just check it out. He said The Mind Body Prescription is really good.
Howard said just concentrate on Katelyn and have her concentrate on him. Brent said that would be fine. Howard said this is tape of Katelyn talking about Jackhammer. He played that clip and Katelyn was talking about Jackhammer pounding her really fast and cumming from that. Howard said that he thinks that's an orgasm but Brent said that it's different for her. Howard said it's the same thing to him.
Howard said he has a headache from that now. He said that's all he's saying. He said Jackhammer rated the top 5 wives that he's fucked in his life and Katelyn came in number 3. Brent said she rated him number 3 out of the 3 guys she fucked that weekend. Jason said that'll show him.
Shuli said that it was very easy for Katelyn and very difficult for Brent. He said that she was able to get the guys no problem. Jason said Katelyn banged that guy and then yelled at Brent for banging the girl out in California. Robin said they're bringing things into their life to cause problems. She asked why that is.
Howard said all he did this weekend was drink hot water. Brent said he just tried to deal with his headaches.
Howard asked if Ronnie did some fucking down in Mexico. Ronnie said they did a little bit but Stephanie wasn't feeling that good. He said he brought his cock rings but he didn't use them. He said he was nervous about the whole wedding thing. Shuli said that he wasn't worried about work. Ronnie said he sure wasn't.
Ronnie said on Saturday they were at the pool and he went upstairs and Stephanie ran a bath in the big Jacuzzi tub in the room. He said they got in the tub together. Shuli said imagine him getting nude and into the tub. Ronnie said Shuli is no prize either.
Ronnie said she called him into the bathroom and he got in the tub. He said she had him lay his head back and close his eyes. He said she started washing him. He said she was massaging his head and then she got down to the balls and dick and the finger up the ass too. He said it was really relaxing. He said she had him lift the head of his dick out of the water and she gave him a happy ending. He said she's awesome. He said she wasn't feeling that great. He said it was good for her to be relaxed in there. He said she laid in the sun a lot too. He said her lung was really fucked up from Pneumonia.
Howard asked Ronnie if she had diarrhea would he fuck her. Ronnie said she would have taken 10 baths by then. He said of course he would have done it then. Howard said maybe she's practicing what it'll be like when they retire and Ronnie is really old.
Howard asked if he would stay with her if his cock didn't work. Ronnie said it would kill him and he'd tell her to leave. He said that if something doesn't work it can affect your mind. He said he's not sure what he would do if it didn't work. He said he'd go to the pills if he had to.
Howard asked how old she is now. Ronnie said she's 37. Howard said she has needs. Robin said maybe she'd want to stay with him. Howard said she might just say do her a favor and go down on her once in a while.
Howard got Erik on the line to listen in. Shuli said that Erik has a hook up at this dealer. He said he traded in his car on this truck. Howard asked what he got for that car. Erik said about 10,000. Shuli said he paid 18,000 for it a few months ago but it was in two accidents. He said the first one was 9,000 to repair. He said he put $1,500 down and his payments are $179 a month. Gary said this truck has to be 50 grand. Erik said it is 50. He said he's going to pay that for 3 years.
Shuli said the reason he got this truck is that Erik is so out of shape and so fat that the car he had was tough to get in and out of. He said he rented this truck and it was so roomy for him that he had to buy one.
Howard said when he was fat he got pants that were maternity pants. He said he could expand into them. Erik said he's not drinking soda. He said he's drinking water. Gary asked how much he weighs. Erik said he hasn't weighed himself lately.
Jason said he heard he got very option but the sunroof. Erik said no leather either. He said he took the cop lights out of his car too. Howard asked if Shuli was scared driving with him. Shuli said he was. He said he gets distracted easily. Erik said he's a better driver now. Howard said that's good. Erik said he's doing good so far. He said he's doing the speed limit and all of that.
Howard asked where he parks that thing. Erik said he can park in the driveway where he lives. He said he can park in the street too. Gary said he guarantees he'll have an accident in the next few weeks. He said this truck is huge. Shuli said he was outside talking to Erik and this plumber yelled out ''How long before he crashes this one?''
Shuli said Erik molested Chris Wilding in the truck too. Chris said he called him to come down so he went down with Shuli. He said this truck bed is big and open and Erik sits in the bed and he tells him to get in to make out. Chris said Erik is as gay as can be. He said he's gayer than he is. Howard said Erik still claims he's straight. Erik said he straddled him in the back of the bed. Chris said Erik grabbed his cock back there.
Howard asked if Erik really did that. Erik said he did. He said he grabbed it and touched it and it was kind of hard. Shuli asked if he fantasized about it later. Erik said he did while watching Blue Bloods. He said he thought about Chris and Donnie at the same time.
Shuli said he asked Erik what his three wishes would be if he had a Genie in a lamp. He said Erik said he'd like to have Chris, Donnie and John Stamos all at the same time.
Howard asked Erik if he wants to come in and make out with Chris. Erik said if he wants to. Howard asked Chris if he would like to. Chris said he recently became Muslim and it's the month of Ramadan so he can't. Howard said that's a no Erik.
Chris said Erik invited him out to see Sesame Street Live on Broadway. He said he can't go to that either.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that the reason this is 170 a month is because if he doesn't have a sunroof and leather then it's a work truck. Shuli said this is top of the line. King said it's really not. He said he has a van right now and he's going to get an X5 M Sport. He said that will have all of that stuff and it'll be like $72,000. Erik said ''Wow!'' King said he's not knocking Erik. He said without all of that stuff you're not getting the ''coutremants'' with it. Howard let King go after that.
Howard played a song parody about High Pitch Erik and his driving. Erik said he's going 15 miles per hour in the school zones now. He said he obeys the speed limit. He said he'll go under the limit in the school zones. Erik said Shuli said he wasn't afraid with him this time. Howard wished him luck with the new car. Erik asked if he wants him to be his driver. Howard said no. He let him go and said he can't believe he's got this money and a car now. Shuli said he laughs about Jeff the Drunk. Howard said it's unbelievable that this guy can have a $50,000 truck.
Howard said it's crazy. He said tax payers paid for that lap band surgery. Robin said he paid $9,000 cash to fix his car once.
Jason said that JD has been changing over the year so Howard tried to give him some financial advice. He said JD snapped when a caller called in with some advice. Howard had a clip to play where this woman called in and gave some advice to JD about going to Napa for his Honeymoon. JD told them to leave him alone and he'll spend what he wants.
Howard said they found out that the wife called him and he freaked out. Jason said there was another 3 day ski vacation he took. JD said it was 2 days. He said she skied and he stayed in. Howard asked JD why he would do that. JD said she left very early and came back by noon on the first day. He said they went out to lunch and hung out. He said the next day she skied and they went home later that day. Robin asked who she skis with. JD said she was out there with some guys who were hot boxing the gondola. Howard said he hears about this stuff and JD doesn't ski or hike and he goes anyway. JD said he goes for his wife.
Howard said this sounds like it's all stuff he hates and she loves. JD said he hates everything so he wouldn't leave the house if she didn't take him. He said some things he doesn't like. JD said he wouldn't leave the house if it was up to him.
Howard said he heard about another vacation where his wife went jet skiing and he sat there. JD said he doesn't like doing things in the water. Howard said he almost drown in 2 feet of water. Gary said he loves that clip.
Howard said they had JD vs. Howard. He said Shuli has something. Shuli said that Robin pushes everyone's buttons there. He got under Jon Hein's skin last year. He said that they had a Game of Thrones discussion that set him off. Howard played the clip where Jon went off on Robin about telling him he was wrong about that show.
Brent said that Jason and Gary had a fight too. He said it was about Gary's Plantain chips that Jason told Howard about. Howard had a clip from that day where Gary went off on Jason about telling on him about his chips.
Howard said 2019 was a busy year. He asked who has the next feud. Ronnie said there's a lot of Gary shit. He said he's in the middle of everything. He said Gary got into it with Sal about a bottle rocket. He said that everyone was wondering about why Sal was so upset about it. Gary said Sal was picking on him and he had a theory about why. Howard played a clip where Sal and Gary were talking about doing appearances and why Sal seems to be jealous of him.
Howard went to Chris next. Chris said that Ronnie had a Labor Day party and he had a new friend there who people had issues with. He said Brent said he harassed Katelyn and Memet said that he was taking pictures of his girlfriend's ass all night. He said Ronnie went off on everyone about that. Howard played a clip of Ronnie going off on everyone about what they were saying about his party. He even went off on Stephanie for throwing the party. Ronnie ended up walking out of the studio.
Howard said they spoke to Stephanie and she said that party is happening again this year. He said after all his bullshit it's still happening again. Ronnie said he has no idea. He said that's her deal. He said there might be a different guest list. Howard said she's saying they're having the party with that gang. Ronnie said he doesn't know.
Jason asked if that means that the guy who was creeping everyone out won't be there. Ronnie said he didn't say that.
Howard asked if there are any other fights. Gary said there's one more. He said Michael Rapaport was disgusted by Brent's swinging. He had Howard play that clip next. He had Rapaport going off on Brent about talking about his swinging on the show.
Gary said Rapaport is stuck in the 90s so he wrote a rap battle song about Brent. Howard played that song. Howard said Brent came back at him with a metal song. He played that too. Howard said he kind of liked that song.
Robin said she was watching A Typical on Netflix this weekend and Michael is on that. She said she was just thinking about how that's the guy that yells at Brent.
Howard played a Dueling Banjos parody with Brent and Rapaport going at each other. He said that's an argument. He said that's pretty awesome. Ronnie asked if they're still fighting. Brent said he hates him. He said as a human being he's a horrible one.
Howard said he heard Richard won the fantasy football league. He said he heard that Michael stopped with Brent and went off on Richard. JD said they have him up there sometimes and they have to let security know about it. He said they don't get along. Gary said Michael had a fantasy football dinner and it was just him, Will and Jason. JD said he showed up later. He said he was out at a wine tasting. He said it was a birthday gift his wife bought for him. Gary said Brent didn't go.
Gary asked if JD keeps separate accounts with his wife. JD said they do. He said he didn't want to get into the whole thing. Howard asked if he's telling him that they don't have a joint bank account. JD said not right now. Howard asked if they have to split the bills. JD said she transfers him money. Howard asked if he knows what she has. JD said no. Howard said wow. Robin asked if she has her own credit cards. JD said she does.
Howard asked how they split the bill out at dinner. JD said he pays sometimes and she'll pay sometimes. Howard asked if it's awkward doing that. JD said he makes significantly more than she does. Shuli asked if he has to chase her down for money at all. JD said no. Jason asked if JD is the one who pays the bills. JD said he deemed himself that so yes. Howard asked Ronnie what he makes of that. Ronnie said that's the way people do things these days.
Howard asked if he should be doing that. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said Stephanie buys stuff and he pays for it. He said she buys all the food for the house. Howard asked why not merge accounts. Ronnie said they haven't done that yet. JD said it hasn't been anything he thought was an issue.
Howard said this was a good review of 2019. He said they'll get back to it tomorrow. Ronnie said he'll be there. Howard said that's good. He said he won't be in Mexico again. Howard said they'll get together and go through the whole year in review. He said they'll go through Brent's swinging and the best news flubs, best Robin songs and the L.A. show reviews and more.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's fucked up from that story Ronnie told about the tub. He said he got an erection from it. He said maybe he can do old man erotica or something when he retires. Ronnie said good for him and he's glad he's happy. Robin said maybe he can write some stuff for Playboy Forum.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked why Stephanie posted a picture with a cup that said Mrs. Mund. Ronnie said he was waiting for this. He said he told Stephanie not to post stupid stuff. He said it was a Yeti cup that they had printed up as favors there at the wedding. Ronnie said his cup said ''Duu'' and her's said ''Mrs. Mund.''
Jason said that Stephanie wants to get married so bad. Ronnie said they need a house first. Howard said he could still get married. Ronnie said that they could get married in Vegas or in Mexico with his rich friends. The caller asked if Howard will be invited. Ronnie said he will but Howard won't come.
Howard said Stephanie was parading around with that cup. Ronnie said she just posted a picture. He said then they get callers like this calling in. Ronnie said it was just a joke.
Brent asked if they're up against the hands of time. Ronnie said his blood pressure isn't 190/106 like Brent's is. Ronnie said everyone writes Mrs. Mund to her. Jason said she also wrote #MrsMund on Instagram. Ronnie said so what. Howard let the caller go. Ronnie was really upset with her like she did something wrong. Howard said it is startling that she has a Mrs. Mund mug. JD said his wife has a Mrs. Harmeyer cap that she wore. Howard asked why Ronnie is so angry. Ronnie said he's not. He said it's fine that she did that. He said she puts up a lot of weird shit. Howard asked what she posts. Ronnie said she puts up a lot of stuff that he tells her not to.
Howard said that woman is lifting his balls in a bath tub. Ronnie said she's not lifting them. He said his are tight. He said they don't sag. He said he doesn't even have grey hair on his balls. He said he still has dark pubes down there. He said he can't figure it out.
Howard said Chris was saying he imagined his balls hanging to his knees. Shuli said one of them is in his dress sock. Howard said that was fun today. He said they'll learn about more tomorrow.
Shuli asked if he really has dark hair down there. Ronnie said he does. He said he doesn't have saggy balls either. Ronnie said he wishes everyone had a great life like they do. He said they really have a great life. Howard asked why he gets angry with her. Ronnie said it's just stupid and she doesn't have to post that stuff. Jason said she uses Mund on Twitter too. Ronnie said that's fine. Gary said it makes him think she's married and using her maiden name.
Gary asked if Jason would be invited to his wedding. Ronnie said sure. Howard asked if anyone is not invited. Ronnie said there are always cuts. He said Stephanie keeps getting him to try to sit down and make up a guest list and he hasn't done it yet. He said he won't invite people he doesn't hang out with. Howard said he's yelling a lot for a guy who's supposed to be happy.
Howard said he really has to wrap this up. He told Ronnie to take it easy. Gary said he was really angry at that caller. He asked how she's supposed to know not to call in with that. Ronnie said you could just hear it in her voice. He said you know what she's going to say.
Howard asked if Ronnie has ever talked to his shrink about taking it in the ass from his fiancee. Ronnie said no he hasn't. He said he's not trying the real thing out. Chris said he might as well. He said it might feel better. Howard said he's doesn't get it. Ronnie said he likes it and he's not worried about taking shit in his ass.
Howard said it's ridiculous to keep talking about this. Ronnie said it's not ridiculous. Howard said he can't believe he's trying to push Stephanie away. Ronnie said he loves her but he feels like he's wasting her life. Howard asked how he's trying to push her away. Ronnie said it's in his mind. He said he doesn't want her to be hurt. Brent asked if he's emotionally engaged with her at home. Ronnie said of course he is. Howard said they have to stop this. He said they'll get to more tomorrow.
Robin got it all started up again with Ronnie. Howard said he's saying the best possible situation would be for her to leave him. Ronnie said he doesn't really want her to. He said he'd be stressed about it if she did but he feels that she could find someone younger. He said that's the main thing. The guys said that's her choice. Ronnie said he knows that. He said he's seen someone go through it and it's not fun. Howard asked if they can talk some more about his balls. Ronnie said she shaves them. He said she uses a straight razor to shave them down. He said it's a regular razor. Shuli said he doesn't believe anything about his balls. Howard ended it again and went to break finally.
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Robin started her news with a story about Burt Ward from the original Batman and Robin series and how he fit into the Robin costume. Robin said it was a problem for the producers of the show. They wanted him to take a pill to shrink his penis. Howard said his mother may have given him that accidentally. Robin said Burt's costume would cause him to get erect so they tried to shrink him. Robin said he says he took them for 3 days and stopped. He used his cape to cover it up instead.
Howard said last Thursday was the 14th anniversary of their start at SiriusXM. He said they've been there for 14 years. Robin said that's amazing. Howard said he knows that because Mariann from Brooklyn let him know on social media. He had her on the phone to talk about that. Mariann said she has a lot of stuff to go over for 2019. She started but Howard immediately hung up on her.
Robin read about Lou Ferrigno being a sheriff's deputy in New Mexico. Robin had some details on that. Robin said they say that they think Lou will be great for recruitment.
Robin read a story about Serena Williams breaking a drought by winning her first tournament in Australia. She had some audio of Serena talking about the win and what's going on down there in Australia. She donated her prize money to help Australia.
Robin read a story about Meghan Markle and Prince Harry announcing that they're stepping away from being primary members of the royal family. Robin said they may choose Canada as their home. Robin said they want to be financially independent but no one is sure what Harry's last name would be. She said the royals don't have a last name. Robin said that Meghan will be doing some voiceover for Disney. She said that's one thing they want to continue to do to have a foundation and support their charities. Robin said the queen wants to meet with Harry about all of this. Howard said it must be difficult to be financially independent and have your grandmother's face on the money. He did a live commercial read after that.
Howard had fake Arnold Schwarzenegger on the phone to wish him a happy birthday. Arnold was cumming just thinking about how in shape Howard is now. Howard said he tries. Arnold said just thinking about birthdays makes him horny. Howard let him go after that.
Robin read a story about the Critic's Choice Awards being handed out last night. Robin said that Best Picture was won by Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Robin said Brad Pitt also won for his character in that. Robin had some other winners she ran through. Howard said he heard that J-Lo won an acting award for her striper movie. He said the guys said that it was a mediocre role. He asked what she won. JD said she was just nominated. He said Laura Dern won in that category. Howard said they had a whole discussion about that this morning and she didn't even win. Howard said Robert Downey Jr. wasn't even nominated for Iron Man and that upsets him. Robin read about some of the other movies that were nominated for best picture. She went through some other categories with Howard. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from fake Simon Cowell who wished him a bad birthday. Howard and Simon went back and forth with a few insults for a few seconds before Howard let him go.
Howard said their 14th anniversary was last week and he has Sour Gary on the phone to tell some stories about that. He had Sour Shoes talking about what their first day was like. He was rambling on and on like Gary while he told the story about the night before and the day of. Robin asked how long this is going to go. Sour Gary was eating and kept telling his story. He was talking about when everyone got to work and details like that.
Robin read a story about a new Family Feud up in Canada where they had two contestants on and the question was about Popeye's favorite food. Robin had Howard play a clip where someone answered ''Chicken.'' Howard said he likes that people act like they're so smart knowing it's spinach. Robin said Popeye's Chicken heard about that and they gave that woman $10,000 worth of chicken for that wrong answer. Howard said he can't believe that restaurant didn't have to get licensing for that name.
Howard took a call from fake Sharon Osbourne who wished him a happy birthday. Sharon said they look great for their age. Howard told her to give Ozzy his best. Sharon went on and on a bit. Howard said he's sure she fooled no one but that wasn't really Sharon Osbourne.
Robin read a story about Jeopardy having the wrong answer to a question. Robin said they had a question about the first Christian church ever. Robin had a clip for Howard to play. Robin said most people think it's Palestine and not Israel. Robin said there's a dispute about it. She said most people think that answer was wrong. That led to Howard and Robin talking about the championship game that's been going on for a couple of weeks now. Howard said that Ken Jennings is a really good player. Robin said that Ken says he studied the rhythm of Alex's voice to figure out when to hit the buzzer. Howard said Robin has played a few times and she said that buzzer can really mess you up. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how there are still two popes. Robin said Benedict resigned and now they have Francis. Robin said Benedict said he would not make any statements about questions in the catholic church. She said that Francis is looking into celibacy in the priesthood. Robin said Benedict is writing a book and he says that it's essential. Howard said it's really not. He said they're not celibate and that's the problem. He said many of them have gone after young boys. He said the rules have to be changed. He said they're outdated. Howard asked if the retired pope wears the outfit or just regular clothes. Robin said he may just stay in his pajamas like Hugh Hefner.
Robin read a story about the White House Press secretary not holding a briefing sine July when she took over. Robin said she's defending that and saying that reporters have access to the president. Howard said he is available by that helicopter.
Robin read a story about how the articles of impeachment have not been delivered yet. Robin said Nancy Pelosi is working on that and they're going to announce when they're going to deliver them soon.
Robin read a story about a congressman who left the republican party last year is saying that Trump's decision to kill the Iranian general was made 7 months ago and not more recently so his excuse seems made up. Robin had some audio of Rand Paul talking about not liking the insistencies he's hearing from the Trump administration. Robin said they say the story keeps changing about why they carried out this hit.
Robin read a story about the Iranians apologizing for taking that Ukrainian airplane out of the sky. They say it was a mistake on their part. Robin said Justin Trudeau is saying that they will get justice for that plane being taken down.
Robin read a story about the death of Neil Peart from the band Rush. Robin said he passed away on Tuesday and the news didn't break until Friday. Robin had some quotes from some people in the music industry. Howard said Jon Hein is sitting Shiva. Robin had an example of Neil's work for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about a talking car. She said that Elon Musk is saying that their cars could soon start talking to people outside of the car. Howard said everyone he knows who owns a Tesla says it's a great car. Robin said you just can't go that far. Howard said that's apparently not a problem. Robin said she just drove 300 miles and it can't do that. Gary said they can do 250 and you can charge in 15 minutes. Robin said she can gas up faster than that. Gary said it's saving the world though. Robin had a clip of what the car could sound like when it talks to you. Howard said it sounded a bit light in the loafers but that's fine. Robin said they're working on the Artificial Intelligence for the cars and they say it will eventually be able to talk back. Howard said it would be good if it could talk because he walks down the street and doesn't hear the cars sometimes. He said they could make it sound like Ronnie. They had some clip of him as a robot. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:35am.
Howard started the show talking about how he was just on the SiriusXM app. He said he's very proud of that. He said it's well done. He said he was watching some of the best television ever. He said it's called the Howard Stern Show. He said he was actually watching Mad Dog. He said he's so entertaining to look at. He said it looks like he has a medical issue. He said he holds his hands in an odd way. Robin said it is kind of weird. Howard said it really is.
Howard said he's part of the water main break there in the city. He said the water in his apartment is kind of brownish. He said Beth is in Pittsburgh and he was running around changing out the water for the cats. He said he was using bottled water for that. He said no shower this morning so his hair is a mess. He said it's kind of wild today. He said he doesn't have a person there to do his hair. He said he doesn't do hair and makeup there.
Robin said someone she knows said that their building was flooded. Howard said he just had sediment in his water. He said the water in the toilet was brown and he didn't do a thing in there. He said he got home from Mexico and he comes home to this. He said he has to shower after he does his Peloton thing today. He said he will get sick if he uses that water. He said he doesn't know what to do. He said his gym is in the same building so he can't shower there.
Howard said he watched some lesbian porn last night. He said he wasn't in the mood for it but it said it was the best lesbian porn. He said he likes a little bit of resistance in his porn. He said there's something wrong with him but that's what he likes. He said he thinks they say it's the best video ever because it's 3 women sleeping and then 2 start rubbing each other in their sleep. He said he found himself watching it and saying they were model caliber women. He said he wondered how they got these women to do porn. Robin said maybe they can't act. Howard said they can do something. He said porn is the rock bottom of society. He said it's either be hookers or porn stars. He said it's 3 women who are as good looking as Emily Ratajkowski. Robin said she's not doing that much either. Howard said she has brands that people buy. He said it's the same with Oprah. He said the people who really bother him are the people who buy anything Oprah has. He said he wants to slap them and tell them to wake up. Robin said people are waiting to be told what to do.
Howard said these three girls aren't doing anything freaky. He said it's 2 brunettes and a red head. He said the two women are going down on the red head. He said they are super clean looking and he can't believe he's watching them having sex. He said he didn't see the whole thing. He said he shot his load in his tissues in the brown toilet water. He said he felt like a real degenerate. He said it was a great porn with the women they had in it. He said he'd like to meet these three women just to ask how they got into it. He said they had bodies like goddesses. He said they weren't fake titties. He said they were real. Robin said it's called low self esteem. Howard said there's a lot to be said about that. He said if you can get them into it then you can make some money in the porn industry. He said there are some predators who can do that. He said Ronnie is good at that. He said he has a special talent.
Howard said back in the 70s they had stag films and the women were chubby and had cellulite. He said they were fugly. He said they weren't just ugly, they were fuckin' ugly. He said they had afros down there. He said now they have models. He said they have belly hair back in the 70s. He said they had scars and things. He said it was like watching roadkill having sex.
The caller asked if the guy is going to take it all the way with the nurse. Howard said that woman is a loon. He said she says she's a model but she's not. He said she puts bikini pics up on the internet. He said she isn't getting paid to be a model. He said she's also cuckoo. He said she interrupts the guy a lot and she's a kook. He said he has to stay away from her. Howard said he finally told Hanna B to go home. He said that other Hanna is a fidget.
Howard said he has to watch in advance so he can keep up on it. He said otherwise he has to watch it a few days later. He said Beth is such a fan that she watched on Friday and now she's watching with her mom in Pittsburgh. He said they already saw it but she's watching it again. He said she's a good daughter. He said she's nice that way. He said he wouldn't watch it a second time. He said he's not that far gone.
Robin said she saw a lot of people crying. She said they just got there so she's not sure why. Howard said he loves mental hot chicks. He said that's what they are.
Howard said they were arguing about wether or not Ainsley Earhardt would be good in bed. He said she fucks like an animal and Gary said no she doesn't. He said if he was a single man he'd prove it. He said she was probably dumped because she's an air head. He said they gave her a show on the FOX app. He said she's super religious and she talks about how much she loves Jesus now. He said that's because her two husbands dumped her. He said he guarantees she's in a full on relationship with Jesus now.
JD said he thinks she's very religious. Howard said she's on FOX and Friends and shows off her body. He said when she's in the bedroom she turns Jesus off and goes apeshit. He said everything is on the table. He said he's done it. He said you know they're nuts but you do it anyway.
Howard said a woman like that doesn't want to be seen and she is willing to do anything. He said she's already been married twice so that's not very Christian. JD asked why she was divorced. Howard said she claims that one of the guys cheated on her with her best friend. Robin said you have to be really angry at your wife if you do that. Howard said if you do that or her sister you're really angry at her. Howard asked what JD thinks about that. JD said if she's a sexual dynamo then why leave her. Howard said he has to give it to JD for imagining sexual activity. He said they're both taking their cues from watching porn. He said that's where he gets his stuff.
Howard said Ainsley talked about some wacky stuff last year. He said he played this clip last year. He played a clip where she was talking about imagining a group of horses running at her in a dream. Howard said you know with Pat Robertson he's a wack job and a fake. He said with this Ainsley you don't know it. He said she really believes this stuff.
Howard played more of the Ainsley clip and said this app she's on is the FOX Nation app. JD said she dresses very conservative on that show. Howard played more of her talking about the horses and what they were dressed in. Howard said that's a very elaborate vision.
Howard said he's pretty sure he can't satisfy a woman like that. He said if the horses have breast plates he doesn't think he could. He played more of her rambling crazy dream. Howard said they like to outdo each other with their visions of god on that show. Ainsley said it might sound weird to some people but she could feel their wings flapping in the dream. Howard said there is no point to this. He said she just wanted to outdo them all with her vision of Jesus.
Howard said Sean Hannity went on her show and made a point about him being a heathen. He said he was calling him out for not knowing about the majesty of god. Howard said he was saying that he doesn't know the majesty of your imaginary friend. He said they're all imaginary friends. He said it's the same as the Easter bunny. Howard said he might be skeptical about Ainsley having an out of body experience to calm herself down. He said her husband may have had sex with her friend and now she has to make herself special by having a dream about horses with breast plates.
Howard said Sean wanted to put him down because he wanted to rescue her. He said if he was alone in a room with her he'd do the same thing.
Howard played the clip of Sean Hannity talking about he was listening to Howard Stern and he was talking about Ainsley's bible study. He said he was making fun of that and what was interesting to him was that she has something that he doesn't have. Sean said he read that he sees a shrink 5 days a week and goes home and smokes weed and watches porn. Howard said he doesn't smoke pot and doesn't go to a shrink 5 days a week. He said he may have gone 4 days a week at the time he talked to Sean on his show. Robin said she doesn't like him. She asked why bother with making him famous. Howard said he was selling a book. Gary said he did his radio show, not his TV show.
Howard played more of the Sean Hannity clip where he was going on and on about how Howard Stern never thinks about the majesty of god like Ainsley does. Howard said he doesn't even know there is a god. He said he just believes there is. He said maybe he sees the majesty of god when he paints. He said Sean is just trying to take her side and work her that way.
Howard played more of Sean talking about him making fun of her bible study. Sean said Howard does not understand this. Howard said at least his psychiatrist gives him some answers. He said if he saw horses his psychiatrist would give him a pill for that. Howard played more of the clip and Sean said it made Ainsley look good.
Howard said this is like going to see Oprah at an event. He said they show video of these people and they're going crazy over her. He said if you believe in anything you're ahead of the game. He said if he could tune out and see horses he'd be thrilled. Robin said she doesn't like when they have to turn themselves into anti-gay and anti-this and that. She said they have to tell people what they have to be and not be.
Howard said they want him to know Jesus on this show. He played more of the audio of Sean talking to Ainsley. Howard said a shrink is good. He said reading the bible 5 days a week is kind of kooky.
Howard said a lot of people who have mental illness go to see a psychiatrist. He said the religious people tell them to read the bible and they end up doing something crazy. He said going to a shrink is good. He said he hasn't tried the bible combo. He said she sounds very fragile and on the verge of tears. Robin said she's not sure what she's so upset about.
Howard played more of the Sean and Ainsley clip where Ainsley said that she and her bible group watched his interview and prayed for him. Howard said he wants to go on that show and tell her that he believes all of this stuff and he wants to share a vision with her bible study now. He said her whole bible study prayed for him. He said they probably prayed for him to stop eating matzo.
Howard said Ainsley thinks Sean Hannity was brought to us by God to save our country. Howard said if he was Sean he'd be thinking he could get her in 3 minutes. Howard played the clip and Ainsley asked if Sean believes God chose him. Sean didn't say yes. Howard said even he's embarrassed to say that. Robin said that's why he was talking about her and not about himself.
Howard said Ainsley said that no one is a Christian unless they want to get everyone to be a Christian. Howard played a clip where she was talking about that. She was telling Sean that he loves everyone including the liberals. She said they're all god's child.
Howard said Pat Robertson is watching this and saying she's going too far. He said she's saying that you're not Christian unless you're really annoying. He said she seems to be fully broken now. He said Jesus won't pass her by. He said he won't dump her.
Howard said Sean probably had to book right out of there after this. He said Hannity claims he has part of his day set aside for God time. Howard played that clip next. Howard said he'd be doing the same thing if he was trying to get her. Howard played the clip and Sean was talking about saying the lord's prayer during the day and if you do that you're going to feel it. Howard said he has OCD so he taps on a piece of wood 3 times. He said we don't know if we can create good luck but you do it thinking you can. He said that's what he's doing basically.
Howard played more of Sean talking about how he gets himself centered during the day by saying that prayer. Howard said she has to be wet by this time.
Howard said it's so great that they're putting him down because he's not into this. He said he kind of is into stuff like this because of his OCD. He said he knows it's stupid but he does it. He said he thinks he can create good luck with the little things he does. He said it's basically the same thing.
Howard said Hannity threw Ainsley a curve ball when he said he does a Martial Arts thing for 90 minutes a day. Howard played that clip. Sean said he does a 90 minute workout every day. Howard said that's going to turn her on too. Robin said she wanted it to be devotion. Howard said she's a black belt in Jesus.
Howard said he's enjoying these clips. He said he has one more. He said there was one bible fact where he said God knows just how many hairs are on your head. He said he mentioned this a bunch of times in the show. He played a clip where Sean mentioned that a few times.
Howard said this is some fun group huh? Robin said they have one stupid thought and keep bringing it up over and over. Robin said as hard as he's working Howard wouldn't have to. She said Ainsley would be so taken with Howard. She said he's a very charming man. Howard said he's like the devil. He said he'd tell her he's so spiritual. He said he'd say that God knows every crevice of our sphincter. He said he knows every hair on your asshole. He said he would tell her that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that girl is a prude. Howard said they don't understand sexuality. The caller said she found Jesus so she has to be a prude. Howard said she found Jesus because men rejected her. He said she will go the extra mile for any guy who is into her. He said she's too hot to be losing guys. The caller said that's the point.
Howard said she also goes for guys who are star football players. The caller said that money and sex break up marriages. Howard said a guy with options will leave her. Howard said she needs a dude like him who will worship her. He said she sets her sights too high.
Howard said these football players have too many options. The caller said it has to be the sex. Howard said no. He said she needs a charming 4 instead of a 9. He said she will see that he's a nice guy. He said she needs a Benjy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he almost can't listen to this anymore. He said it's hard to take. Howard said he's done with it now anyway. He said he wasn't going to play it on the air but he couldn't resist. He wishes they would do more shows about him needing faith.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Beth is awesome. He said he has great taste. He said he prays for Howard. He said he thinks he has everything in the world but just one thing is missing. Howard said no one knows what his beliefs are. He said he has spirituality. He said he grew up with religious training. He said there was a lot of bullshit kind of things in that and the rituals and time didn't make sense. He said the guys who taught him were the creepiest mother fuckers. He said even with that he is a spiritual person. He said he doesn't know if there's a god and no one knows. The caller said he knows in his heart. Howard said he's not saying he's wrong or right. The caller said he had a wrestling coach who killed himself in high school and he prayed and prayed about it. He said he wondered why it happened to him and it wasn't him, it was that guy's family it happened to.
Howard said just take it easy. He said he's a disc jockey. He said he doesn't have the answers. He said he hopes there is a god. He doesn't know if there is or not. He said he was watching Dracula and they played to his worst fears by burying someone in a coffin and they had to scratch their way out.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's on his side and thinking this woman is crazy. Howard said he knows something about women. He said a woman that has visions he guarantees is good in bed and she won't wait more than 2 weeks to have sex. He said he's telling you. The caller said that's why Howard would win her over.
Howard said she'd put the same energy into you as she does to Jesus. He said he has been with women like that. He said they had the same laser focus on Jesus. Howard said when she started talking about him he got interested and had to get a profile going.
Howard said his mom is very spiritual and she would yap about that all day. He said she gets worn out about 3 o'clock. He said his mom would tell his friends about all of that stuff. He said he'd wonder if she was really going to lecture them about what to do. He said she used to have all the answers. He said now she's turned 91 and it's too overwhelming.
Howard said most religious people talk themselves blue in the face every day. He said that's when you move in. He said he was honored to hear them talking about him. He said he gets why Sean talks that line of bullshit with her. He said he'd go into that Jesus coma with her too. Howard said even he seemed uncomfortable with it. He said it can be puzzling when someone is that religious. He said if they feel they have to convert you then it's even more annoying. He said you just want to tell them to keep it to themselves. He said just calm down with that. He said you don't have to be like a Davey and Goliath episode.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks he's the ultimate religious person to call in. He said he was raised in a religious home and he just left it 3 years ago because he realized it was all nonsense. Howard said he was raised on deep religious stuff too and he realizes he should have been playing guitar instead of learning that. The caller said he's a mess and just had his first beer 3 years ago. He said they never did anything fun when he was growing up. Robin asked what it is about not being able to do anything. The caller said it's all about control. He said his parents had a very large church on Long Island. He said when people die they ask where God is. He said in front of everyone else they say they're the best people around. He said it's all nonsense.
Howard said he likes that Ainsley is praying for him. He said he's good with that if she's thinking about him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a catholic school teacher but even he thinks that she's hot and he's going to masturbate to her. He said he'd love to be in her too. He said what gets to him about people like this is the trying to convert. He said just let people have their beliefs. Howard said that's right. The caller said he is catholic but he doesn't think God wants him to be an asshole and not have fun. He said he drinks and stuff like that. Howard thanked him for the call and said he has God on the phone.
Howard took a call from God who was counting. He said he's counting Ainsley's bush hairs. He was beating off while he was counting.
Howard said he was just pointing out that they spent some time talking about him. JD said it was a good 5-10 minutes. Howard asked how many people watch that app. He said he could use the publicity. Robin said not that many. Howard said they say 200-300,000 subscribers. Howard said he's going to get the app to hear Ainsley if she talks about him again. He said he thinks he wants to go on that show. Robin said Howard doesn't do any shows. Howard said that show he'll do. He said she's got his attention. He said he just wants to go on and give her a hug. He said just a hug, not a sexual hug. He said he has to ask her about when she started having these visions.
Howard played more of Ainsley talking about the horse visions she had. Howard said that's fucking awesome. Robin asked what she was being rescued from. Howard said she's not having a good time. He said she needs some rescuing. Howard said her husband must be really happy he got out of there.
Howard said he went on Sean's radio show when he was on WABC. He said they had a nice time. He said it was an interesting conversation. Robin said he doesn't remember anything about that conversation. Howard said she's always right.
Howard said he writes exactly how he talks. He said he asked him to write a note to him and it was the same thing. He asked JD to get that note. JD printed it out and read it. He was asked to talk about going out to dinner and what it was like. JD read the note and it was just written the same way he talks.
Howard said JD wanted to call his wife a Beautiful Creature for his wedding vows. He said he has a strange way of writing. Howard said he's glad they told him not to call her that in the vows. Howard played a clip of JD reading those vows on the air. Howard said that was another great moment. Fred went into his JD puppet voice and had some more vows he read.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's a Christian and there are a lot of people like her who aren't into Trump and listen to Howard's show. She said they're not all that bad. Howard said he never said she was bad. He said he thinks Ainsley is hot. Howard said he wants to go on her show and turn the tables on her and talk about her. He said he wants to start over again and go over her history and when this religious stuff all started with her. Robin said she's sure he could get himself booked. Howard said he wants to get her on her feet again.
Howard asked the caller how she got to be the lead person on the worship team. The caller said she's not the lead person but one of the lead people. Howard asked what a worship team is. He asked where it is. She said it's in Florida. She said it's a band. She said you can call it a band if you want to. She said they worship god and they lead it before they read the bible. Howard asked if she's hot. The caller said she is. Howard asked if she's a 7. She said she's a 9. Howard asked if she walks around in a bikini. She said she teaches yoga. Howard said she must be hot because he's never seen an ugly yoga teacher. He let her go a short time later. He said that was Jill.
Howard said he has to take a break. He said enough with Ainsley. He said he might book himself on her show. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said it must be great to record a song with Gwen Stefani. He said she was at super hot level and she can sing and wear belly shirts. He said poor Moby is there with his shaved head thinking he can't get into her pants. Howard said he probably just felt bad about himself. He played more of the song and said it must have been torture for him. He said he would love to know more about that recording session.
Howard said this song is from 1999. He said Gwen was with Gavin at the time. He said she really is sexy. Robin said of course she is. Howard said they probably had to work out the lyrics together. He said her belly is out and it's all working perfectly. He said she had the blond hair and the big red lips.
Howard said there are these two cousins getting married. He said they're first cousins. He said it's illegal in some places and not in others. He said they can face prison because they're having a baby and that's incest. He said they're marrying in Colorado. He said it's legal there apparently. He said the cousins are over the top that they're cousins. He said they kiss and lick each other's tongues. Robin said they're just shoving it in other people's faces.
Howard said they went out on the street and asked people to sign a petition to legalize incest. He said people were horrified of course. Howard played the clip of one of their guys out on the street doing an interview with a woman about that. The woman refused to sign of course.
Howard said in baseball the pitcher gets signals from a catcher on what to throw. He said there are hand signals. He said in 2017 the Astros won and it turns out they found out that they had a signal catching thing and there's a whole thing going on. He said the Astros beat the Yankees at home and then lost in Houston. He said that they say that they had this sign catching thing and now they're under investigation. He said they have implicated a few people in whole thing. He said one of them is the Mets manager.
Howard asked Gary what's up with that. Gary said that they may be without a manager to start the season. He said it's insane.
Howard said pitchers should be able to figure out what pitch to throw themselves. He said it's a lot of horse shit to make the manager feel better. Gary said the catcher has to know where the ball is going. Howard said that's all bullshit. He said you know where it's going. He said the pitcher should figure it all out himself.
Howard said they found out about this from some player who gave up the story. Gary said it as Mike Fiers. He said he did an interview and admitted they all cheated. Howard asked what his motivation was to admit that. Gary said maybe he was aware of it and didn't agree with it. He said he doesn't know.
Howard said he heard Jon Hein was all worked up about it. He said he called this guy a rat for revealing it. Howard asked Jon why he's a rat. He said he was aware of it and he didn't say anything about it at the time. Jon came in and said that there's a lot of stuff that's not spoken about. He said 2 years later he revealed what went on and how they did it. Howard said what about all of the guys who missed out on pay raises and things because they lost the World Series. Howard said they should be told they didn't lose fairly.
Jon said they didn't win because of this. He said it helped but that's not why they won. Howard said it helps a lot. Jon said it does. He said they still have to execute it. He said the whole thing was so elaborate. He said they took this thing to figure out the signs and someone would smash a garbage can to figure out what pitch they were using. He said there is an advantage there.
Howard said Jon is against whistle blowing. Jon said he is. He said signs will be stolen in any major league game. He said they can't stop the catcher from giving the signs.
Howard asked if Jon is against the whistle blower with Trump. Jon said that's a different thing. He said it's not the same kind of thing. He said Mike Fiers should have said something in 2017. He asked why he didn't say it back then. Howard said maybe he has a guilty conscience. Robin said maybe he couldn't keep it to himself because it didn't fit with his ethics. Jon said you can't decide to have a moral conscience to rat them out 2 years later. He said they'll just figure out a different way to do it.
Howard said they should throw out the guys who cooked up the scheme. Jon said they suspended the managers for a year and then they fired them. Jon said they have no manager and they lost a lot of money.
Howard asked Jon if the women at FOX shouldn't have come out with their complaints about Roger Ailes. Jon said they complained about it when it was happening. Howard said not all of them.
Howard said he thinks this guy is a whistle blower and not a rat. He said he thinks he convinced Jon but he's afraid to admit it. Jon said he has a good point but he should have said something before.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Jon is being a hypocrite. He said he would have been more upset if it was his team. Jon said he wouldn't come forward years later after something like that. He said it screws over people who don't deserve it. Howard said Jon has to take it easy with the rat thing. Jon said nothing happens to the players who were doing it in the first place. Howard said he doesn't like the term rat. He said that's a mob term. He said that's a good thing when they come forward. Robin said he's calling the guy a rat and that's accepting criminal logic. Howard said if that was the case they'd never get anything solved. Robin said they're playing by the rules of the criminal.
Howard said Trump called the whistle blower a rat. He said this guy was serving his country and telling people about this plan to hold back money that congress approved. He said he went to do the right thing and he could have cost himself his career. He said he's not a rat, he's a patriot. He said he goes crazy when he hears people calling the guy a rat.
Jon said he's not saying that they should live by mob rules. He said he thinks if you were one of the 25 guys on the team and this guy came out and said this then they're going to be pissed off. He said regardless of if it was good or bad to do it.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik who said he doesn't think that Carlos Beltran should manage the Mets. He said he's probably involved in all of this. He said his theory is that the Astros should hire him because he knows everything about baseball. Howard said they should point out that there were 4 inside sources that ratted on the Astros. He said it wasn't just one guy. Jon said they did go to other guys. Howard asked if they're rats too. Jon said yeah but he sees Howard's point.
Howard said he has High Energy Jon Hein on the phone. He took that call and the guys played clips of Jon getting all worked up over this stuff.
Howard said Jon can go back to his desk and think about this. Jon said he did make some good points. Howard said he has to get to the Year in Review and more. He said he has to take a break first. They went to break after that.
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Howard said Benjy sent him this book that about 10 people have sent him. He said it's descriptions of what successful artists do. Jason said he should send it back to Benjy. Howard said he has his routine down. He said he does like reading about people's routines. He said the book gets really boring though. He said some people don't even have a routine in the book. He said he does like reading about routines. Benjy asked if he got that book before. Howard said he has. He said Benjy should read it. Benjy said he has and he loves it.
Howard said the best gift was Memet's gift to him which was refrigerator magnets from that My 600 Pound Life doctor. He said Beth is going to see them when she gets home. He said she loves Dr. Now.
Howard thanked Benjy for the book but he said it's really boring to read about people's routines. Benjy said it's a flip through book. Howard said he flips through and he doesn't care about the stuff. Jason said he thought he only wanted Kindle books. Howard said Benjy sent him both the hard copy and the Kindle version.
Howard asked what they were talking about during the break. Gary said the Harvey Weinstein thing. Gary said he's been listening to Ronan Farrow's podcast. He said he interviews one person at a time about how he got this information. Gary said this Italian woman saved a copy of a tape she had where Harvey was trying to get her into his room.
Gary said this woman talked about how strange Harvey was when he had this assistant. He said she said he would just take his pants off while he was dictating to her. Howard said that's a weird move. He said Charlie Rose had weird moves like that too. He said just keep your clothes on. He said he'd never get women if he took his clothes off with the lights on. Ronnie said not him. He said he leaves the lights on.
Gary said that this woman talked about how she would wear two pairs of leggings and Harvey would get one pair off and then another. He said then he'd beg her to let him do one thrust and it would be over. Robin said he just wants one thrust and to give her no pleasure at all. Howard said that's really strange. Gary said he just asks women to come up to his room and watch him take a shower.
Howard said it's like a monster. He said it's so sad. Shuli said the person who is similar to him is High Pitch Erik. He said his penis is inside him and he doesn't mind getting naked. Howard said it's like torture.
Howard said Harvey's wife was one of the hottest women in the world and he's doing this stuff. He said he could go home and have his wife. Robin said he doesn't know that. Howard said he's assuming. Brent said he thinks that he's so depraved that he makes people pay for it.
Robin said it's like that Jennifer Aniston show on Apple TV. She said Steve Carell plays the Matt Lauer like character on the show. She said he thinks he's a little creepy but he's not aware of just how creepy he is. She said that's what Harvey is like.
Howard said it's got to be low self esteem. He said it's all so horrible. Brent said he uses his money and power to hoist himself on these people. Howard asked if he could think he looks so good. The guys were all chiming in on that and talking over each other.
Howard asked Sean what his theory is. Sean went into his theory about a weather control device that they've been using. Howard said he has already zoned out. He said he was looking at himself in the mirror thinking his hair looks okay today even without a shower. Ronnie said it looks good today. He said it's more full. Howard said he uses a gal in his hair and he can pull it out that way. Ronnie said it looks good today. He said put a shower cap on.
Howard said Brent, Shuli and Jason have no hair. He said Ronnie has hair but he's 70 and it's starting to recede. He asked if JD is losing his. JD said no but Ronnie said his forehead is showing more and more. Howard said that's going to be bad if he goes bald.
Shuli said JD is a full on pothead. He said he posted some pictures from Colorado at a dispensary and he got messages from JD about that within 5 minutes. JD said he smoked over the weekend. JD said it's not really affecting him that much. He made a strange noise and Howard told him that he has to learn English. He said he's like that monster Shuter. He said that was a Frankenstein like monster. He said just go watch the trailer online and you'll have a good laugh.
Howard asked if anyone cares about Sean's story. Shuli said Sean says we have a weather machine and that whole thing in Iran was a cover up so we can use the weather gun to make an earthquake happen there. Brent said the earthquakes have nothing to do with weather. He said it's the tectonic plates moving. Sean said they can control more than just weather. He said if you notice they can control more than that and they can control earthquakes. He said they're using it for mind control too.
Howard said sometimes he's in the mood but not today. Shuli said he also says that 5G is a mind control thing and it's a killer. Howard asked where he heard about this. Sean said there are doctors talking about it online. He said it's going to kill wildlife and things. Howard said he might go along with that. He said maybe the LTE is doing that. Gary said that none of these theories are any that he developed. He asked if he goes to one source or many. Sean said he has many people.
Howard asked what's killing the bees. Brent said he thinks it's pesticides. Howard said that could be it. He said if we all get worked up about the environment and do things to save it. He said it's all just a pin in the ocean. He said this guy in the NY Times figured it out. He said what we're talking about is having a leadership with someone other than Trump who will do something. He said what the world needs is for people not to use pesticides on their lawn. He said that would take leadership to stop it. He said the first thing he said was we need leadership so we need to vote. He said they need radical leadership and voting. He said if you have any kind of money then you have to donate to causes that are getting big things done. He said that's all you can do. Robin said you need a whole organization of the greatest scientists to get it figured out.
Sean said he's talking about pesticides. Howard said he's not sure how to get rid of dog men. He said he would run but he has to work on the new app with Robin. Jason said they keep voting in people who say there is no climate change.
Gary asked when science became a political stance. He said it's science. Howard said no one listens.
Howard asked what the other theory is with Sean. Shuli said it was the 5G thing. Sean said he talks about science and the pesticides. He said they were told that Round Up was safe around humans for years and now people are dying from it. Brent said he has a point because they said it was safe. Gary asked if he believes the earth is round. Shuli said Sean is on the fence about that.
Howard asked how so many people are so stupid in this country. He said he went to a horrible school himself but he sounds pretty reasonable. He said he can read a book. He asked why everyone else is so dumb. Gary said Howard is the anomaly. Gary asked who else from that school went on to do anything. Howard said Eddie Murphy and Flavor Flav went there.
Jason said the 5G thing was one scientist who said that it will kill you. Howard said that's all it takes. Howard asked where Sean stands on the earth being flat or round. Sean said that he has a theory. He said Disney put out the movie Frozen so the first search result for Disney's frozen head wouldn't be the first thing to show up. Howard said he should ask Bob Iger about that. Howard said he talked to him about the Disney app and how great The Mandalorian is. Howard said he gets it free because he's a Verizon customer. Robin said she doesn't have it. Sean said all she has to do is download it and get it for free. Robin said she'll have to try that. Sean said he has a 141 IQ.
Howard said they have this beautiful table in there and it's like meet the ugly press. He said he's including himself in that. Sean said it's more like meet the depressed.
JD asked if Sean thinks Stevie Wonder is blind. Sean said he's not even a real person. He said he's a product of the industry from years ago to make blindness an acceptable disability. Howard asked who the guy he met in the studio was. Gary asked if he's a robot. Sean said he's been replaced over the years. He said they keep replacing him. Howard asked if he believes Paul McCartney died in a car accident. Sean said of course. He said his ears have changed over the years. Howard said they grow as you get older. Sean said no. He said they grow smaller and change shape. Howard said maybe he's a shape shifter.
Robin said none of these theories have been very good. Howard said he didn't even follow all of that. He said there is no blind guy named Stevie Wonder. Sean said that's correct. He said that blind people were put into schools and they were kept in those groups. Howard said then they let them out after Stevie? Sean said they didn't feel they had to put them in special schools. Robin asked about Ray Charles. Sean said he didn't have the break through success like Stevie did.
Howard asked if Sean thinks Elvis is alive. Sean said no. He said yes to Tupac when Shuli asked. Sean said Biggie is dead. Howard asked if Stone Henge was built by aliens. Sean said yes. Howard asked if Jeffrey Epstein killed himself. Sean asked if he was kidding. Howard asked if Hillary Clinton runs a pedophiles pizza parlor. Sean said yes.
Jason asked why Brent has headaches. Sean said he's an older model and he's malfunctioning. He said Katelyn is swinging because she wants to fuck real guys.
Gary asked if Avril Lavigne was replaced by an actress named Melissa. Sean said yes to that. He said that she changed the way she holds the microphone over the years.
Shuli said that Greta Thunberg is a time traveler. Gary asked if the government is making poison snow. Sean said he doesn't know about that.
Gary asked if Prince Charles is a vampire. Sean said that the whole royal family feasts on human blood. He said they're cannibals more than vampires. Everyone was snickering as he told them that. Shuli said they have to give him his own show.
Howard asked if Khloe Kardashian is OJ Simpson's daughter. Sean said he doesn't give a fuck about that family.
Howard asked if the royal family murdered Princess Diana. Sean said they did. Gary said what's amazing about him is that he's well versed in stupidity. He said imagine what he could use that memory for. Howard said it's like criminals who have these great minds and don't use it for good. He said they know how to do things but they can't play it straight. He said Sean is a bright guy and he memorizes bullshit. He said he's fucked up.
Shuli said he saw a picture of Sean's place the other day and he has huge plastic bins with rice and other supplies in them. He's ready for Armageddon. Howard said Sean would be brilliant but he's so fucked up he can't pull it together. Howard asked Sean if he's right. Sean said he couldn't afford to go to law school. Howard said he could have figured out a way. He said he could have taken out a loan. He said this is crazy.
Howard asked if Justin Bieber is a reptile. Sean said he doesn't discuss that thing. Howard asked what he knows about it. Sean said he can't say anything about it and he can't tell him why. Shuli said he's not sure why he won't talk about that. Howard asked if he would talk to him off line about that. Sean said in a secure room he might.
Howard asked if he knows something and he's afraid to say it. Sean said that's not an important thing. Howard asked why he won't talk about Justin Bieber. He asked him to say the name Howard if he has a reptile living in his house right now. Sean didn't say it. Shuli told him to say Howard if this could come back and get him in some way. Sean said Howard.
Howard asked what could happen to him if he talked about this stuff. He asked if something at work would go wrong. Sean said he works on cars. Shuli said the guy is a man's man. He said he has to get out to his place. Howard asked if his co-workers hate him for this stuff. Shuli said he doesn't think so. Ronnie asked how many people work there. Sean said about 15. Ronnie said he must work in a dealership. Sean said not really.
Gary asked what he should have been doing for the last half hour. Sean said he has to drive into work. He said he just got there.
Gary asked if the moon is real. Sean said that's a tough one. He said if Earth is round then yeah but if it's flat then it's a projection. Brent asked if we landed on the moon. Sean said no. He said there are videos all over about that.
Howard asked why they can't determine if the earth is round or flat. Sean said because there's a lot of information to dissect. He said if you're sold a theory for years like Santa Claus then things spin for you when you find out that it's fake.
Howard said they say that Justin Bieber was seen shape shifting in Perth Australia. He asked if he will talk about that. Sean said he's bailing out about this. Howard asked why he's being such a puss. Sean was stuttering up a storm talking his way out of that conversation. Howard said he doesn't get it. Shuli said this is the one thing he won't talk about. Sean said there are other things like Deflate-Gate that he won't talk about. Howard asked what would happen if he talked about Justin Bieber. Sean said it would be bad. He said he's not sure if they'd be able to talk to him again. He said neither scenario would end well for him. Shuli said he has to get out to his place. He said he has to see what is going on in that world.
Sean said when Shuli shows up he'll be the safest he's ever been. Howard asked if he'll be upset when he's on his death bed and he never got to use his Armageddon supplies. Gary asked if he rotates all of that food. Sean said he does.
Howard asked if he thinks Tom Brady is a shape shifter. Sean said he doesn't like Tom Brady. He said that's a personal thing. He said he doesn't think he's a shape shifter. He said he's more an asshole. Howard asked if he thinks that Fred is human. Sean said he's not sure about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how this person hasn't been committed yet. He said this is some insane shit. Howard asked if he has ever been committed. Sean said he has not.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he has ever noticed that when he's mad at someone he has no stutter. Howard said maybe he's not a real stutterer. He said maybe he's been replaced by a shape shifter. The caller said maybe he's wobbling back and forth and that's why he stutters. Howard said maybe his program is going haywire. He said maybe he's not human. Sean said maybe we're all speech pathologists now. The caller said any time he's mad he has no problem with a stutter.
Howard said one last question for Sean. He took a call from a guy who said he is a first year law student and this guy wouldn't make it one day there. He said the professors call on you and you have to think on your toes. He said he doesn't think he could get through it. He said you get it out and go take your test. He said he wouldn't survive a day there.
Howard let Sean and the caller go. Howard said he's going to call him High Register Seany. He said how about HRS. Sean said he likes that better. Howard called him High Register Seany. He said he's not going to use something he likes. Sean said that High Register is stupid. He said people don't know what it means.
Howard asked if he wants to talk to Justin Bieber. Sean said nope. Howard said he's on the phone. Howard said please. He said he wants to say he's not a shape shifter. Sean said he can have him on the air when he's done. Brent said he's petrified of Bieber.
Howard asked if he would come in if he got him on the show. Sean said no way. Howard said he can come in and he promises not to have him in there. He said he'll be there with him. Howard said how about they put him in a glass booth. Sean said maybe if he's in the booth and in a Hannibal Lecher mask. Howard asked if he would come in if he cold make that happen. Sean said he doesn't know. Howard said he must be sitting on some information.
Sean said he has to get back to work. Howard asked if he would listen to his music if he put it on. Sean said nope. He said it's just bad. Ronnie asked when work starts over there. Sean said when he tells them to. Robin asked if he's in charge. Sean said sort of.
Howard asked what he thinks about Justin saying he has Lyme disease. Sean said that was created on Plum Island. He said it was an animal testing place and that's where dog men came from.
Jason asked what the worst fear is for Sean. Sean said the dog men are in his yard. Howard said he really has to get out of this. He said go to work fixing cars. Howard said he wouldn't let him touch his car. He said maybe they should do a show from where he works.
Shuli said he would listen to Sean if he had a show where people called in and asked him about these things. Howard said Riley Martin was like that. Brent said Jay Thomas used to fuck with Riley. Shuli said they would pot him up while they were on the air and Riley and Jay would just go at it. Howard said that's fun.
Howard said he went to Jimmy's house for dinner. He said he asked Bradley if he saw Joker. He said ''I produced it.'' He said he was like What? He said Bradley said he didn't make a big deal out of it. Gary said if it wins Best Pictures he'd get an Oscar. Howard said he would be all over the place talking about that if he produced it. Howard said he can sing too. Robin said he's a leading man and he plays a raccoon in Guardians of the Galaxy. Howard said he asked him about that at dinner. He said he asked if he plays that raccoon. He said he told him it's so much fun. Howard said that would be a big deal to him but you don't recognize his voice in it. He said it's incredible. He said look at this guy's life.
Howard said he saw that Brad Pitt was thanking Bradley for making him get sober. He said that's another thing he did. Howard said he's like a hot Jesus. He said when he was making the movie he said he was doing A Star is Born and he asked him to take a look at some video. He said he hears this. He played some of his performance where he's singing. He said this mother fucker can sing. He said he sounds just as good as these country dudes. He said he hopes he has a button cock like him. He said he bets he has a big, thick cock. Jason said it probably bangs against his knee. He said he hates when hot people have talent. He said that's like J-Lo.
Howard said Ronnie wants to fuck her so bad. Ronnie said he thinks she's awesome. Ronnie said he hasn't seen her stripper movie. Gary said she's good in it. He said when she's good they think she should get an award. Howard said he was good in Private Parts but no one did a thing about it.
Howard said Paula Abdul was on New Year's Eve and they can't get the camera far enough from her. He said he likes her but they were playing her song and no one was singing. He said they didn't put the camera on her face because she wasn't singing. Howard asked if J-Lo can really sing. Robin said they did American Idol with Paula Abdul songs and someone tried to give her a microphone but she ran from it. Howard said she can dance.
Howard said he's behind on breaks big time. Ronnie was still talking about how great J-Lo is. Howard asked how she can be a stripper if she doesn't show her titties. Gary said she doesn't show them in this movie. Howard said you have to show them if you're a stripper. Robin said they show her dancing. Gary said they show her take her top off but you only see her back.
Howard asked what Ronnie would do to that ass. Ronnie asked if JD likes Kim Kardashian. Ronnie said it's weird looking. JD said it's gotten enhanced and he's not into that. Gary said JD fell in love with that. He said he would send him pictures of big asses all the time. Howard said he thinks J-Lo is a shape shifter. He said he's seen that ass and it didn't look that big in person but then you see it on TV and it's huge. JD said he had the same thought.
Howard said he really has to take a break. He said he has to get to the year in review stuff tomorrow. He said he'll play more before the news. They went to break after that.
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Howard said you have to admit that was something else. Robin said it really was beautiful. Howard said there were many beautiful songs about Robin in 2019. He said all of the guys were in there. He said they had a guy who did some 50s and 60s songs. He said Daniel Mendelson is something. He said he's not mentioning all of them but he has a montage. He played that for Robin too.
Howard said thanks to everyone who helped out with the song parodies. Howard asked who the guy is that does the 50s and 60s songs. Gary said it's James Cargill.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she was thinking about Ronnie and how there's a soft soul behind that hard shell. Howard said he disagrees. He asked Mariann if she has ever gone to a movie and the hero looks at the woman and tells her to go. He said Ronnie claims that he's trying to get Stephanie to go because he's too old for her. He said if he really meant it then he'd really let her go. He said he would die inside to do it. He said if he really felt that way he would break up with her. Robin agreed. She said she thought about it when she went home and she thinks there's something wrong with his story. She said he wants to seem like a good guy and not really be a good guy. She said do the thing that would take care of her. Mariann asked how they don't know she said something. Howard said he thinks Ronnie is good for her but Ronnie doesn't think he is. Robin said this is all B.S. and Ronnie jut likes to say it. Mariann said she doesn't think so. She said she thinks there's a soft soul in there. Howard said he and Robin don't see anything wrong with the relationship. He said Ronnie does. He said if he really thought he was bad for her then he'd get out of it.
Mariann asked if Howard would attend Ronnie's wedding. Howard said he would. Gary asked if he would if it was in Cancun. Howard said yes.
Howard asked Ronnie if he thinks he's bad for Stephanie. Ronnie said he tried to break up with her. He said she wouldn't leave. Ronnie said he's not going to break up with her.
Howard said they're not judging Ronnie. He said they're great together. He said it's Ronnie saying that he doesn't think they're good together. Howard said he could break it off. Ronnie said he doesn't want to do it. Howard said Ronnie isn't the great guy he proposes to be. Ronnie said alright. He said they're telling him he's full of shit. Howard said he's not able to put aside his needs for Stephanie. Ronnie said it's just the age thing. Howard said he loves Beth too much to give her up. He said he's not the greatest husband in the world. He said he loves her too much to let her go.
Ronnie said this is about her future. Howard said when he dies she has a ton of life left. Robin said die quickly if he wants to help her out. Ronnie said she's taking the knives out today.
Howard said if he really wants out then he has to go to her in a couple of weeks and tell her they have to talk. Ronnie said she just laughs when he does that. Howard said move to Vegas without her. Howard let him go after that.
Howard asked what the lead story is today. Robin read a story about a woman who texted her boyfriend that he should kill himself. Robin said this woman was doing time and nowhere near the guy when he did it. Robin said that they're charging her with a crime. She said the woman didn't do anything except write some texts. Robin said texts don't kill people. Howard said it does sound strange to him. Robin said this woman was 17 at the time. Howard said people told him to go kill himself. He said he never got to tell someone to kill themselves. Jason said this wasn't just one text. He said it was text after text. He said you can cause harm like that.
Robin asked if there is anyone in prison who is in there for what they said to a woman. Howard said there are certain individuals who are out there and may suffer from something and you might be able to push them over the edge. Robin said this guy could have stopped taking her texts and blocked her. Howard said he's not sure what the case is but he doesn't think you can lock someone up for texting. Jason said they did. Howard did a live commercial read and took a break after that.
After the break they played Kings of Leon's ''Use Somebody'' as they were coming back. Howard came back and said he just took a pish so he's ready to go. He sang along with the song a bit before going into another live commercial read.
Robin read a story about the Oscar's and how there won't be a host for the show this year. Robin said people used to run to be the host. Howard said it's different now. He said there are so many fragmentations for movies and streaming services. He said the group experience isn't the same as it used to be. Robin said Amy Poehler and Tina Fey will host the Golden Globes next year. Howard said he was talking to Jimmy Kimmel about the Oscars and he has hosted it. He said Jimmy thinks there should be a host.
Robin read a story about Tony Romo becoming the highest paid sportscaster ever. Howard said you do need to have a sports background to be a sportscaster. Robin said they cover other sports other than the one they played. Howard said if you can attract an audience then go do it. Robin said sources say that Romo is being offered up to $14 million a year to move from CBS to ESPN.
Robin read a story about Abby Huntsman leaving The View. Howard asked if he got to meet her. Robin said she doesn't think so. Robin had some audio of her making her announcement about leaving the show. Howard had some words for her since she was saying her family is her first priority but that's making other people look bad for keeping their jobs. Howard said Whoopi Goldberg is upset about this. He took a call from fake Whoopi who had some things to say about her leaving.
Howard said Mad Dog Russo is upset too. He took a call from fake Mad Dog (Sour Shoes) who was talking about Abby leaving the show. Howard let him go and did another live commercial read.
Howard said they took a beating in the email about the Ronnie thing yesterday. He read some of the feedback about that. Howard said he had no problem with Ronnie taking a day off but he's taking a beating in the email. Howard said people were really going off on him about that. Howard said some people went off on Ronnie about that and said he's oblivious to what's going on around him and his NASCAR buddies aren't really his friends.
Howard said people were really upset about High Pitch Erik getting a new car. He read some of that next. Howard said it's great that people are jealous of Erik. Howard said Ralph was asking why Chris Wilding would get into the bed of the truck with Erik. Howard had Ralph on the phone. Ralph said he wouldn't let Erik near him. He said he's vile and disgusting and he can't stand him. He said he's going to abuse it and he doesn't care. He said he's living off the government and getting that stomach surgery. Howard said he put on a fashion show for Ralph yesterday. He said Jimmy sent him all of these outfits and he tried them on for Ralph. He said he did Pretty Woman for Ralph. Ralph said they put some of it together and said they should save it for the gay clubs. Ralph said Abby Huntsman is tired of the fighting on the show and she doesn't want to deal with it. He said take it easy on her. Howard said she could have said she no longer enjoys working there and she's leaving. He said that's a show he would have watched.
Robin read a story about Gigi Hadid being in the jury pool for the Harvey Weinstein trial. Robin said she's so hot she has to dress down in the real world. Robin said she showed up in a baggy men's blazer to dress down. Robin said Gigi is in the jury pool and she had to say she knows the accused. She knew one of the witnesses too. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Corey Booker suspending his 2020 presidential campaign. Robin had some audio of Corey making the announcement. Howard said he likes this guy's message but listen to this fucking announcement. He said this is why he doesn't resonate with people. He said he's good in interviews though. He said they should turn off the music. Howard said he probably left because he wants to spend more time banging that Rosario Dawson. Robin said he wasn't even able to get an endorsement from her. Howard said imagine that. He said he'd be worked up about that.
Robin read a story about the final presidential debate before the Iowa caucuses. Robin said Joe Biden is still behind his opponents. Robin said he has 25 percent support and his lead has fallen. Robin said Bernie Sanders has fallen to 19 percent and Elizabeth Warren has 16 percent. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked where Howard stands on the assassination of General Qasem Soleimani. Howard said the thing that's driving him nuts is that they don't have an answer for what the imminent threat was. Robin said she heard Trump talking to Laura Ingraham about how he feels that he was going to strike 4 different embassies. Robin said that when someone says they felt something that's not credible evidence but when he feels it then it is. Howard said the people of Iran hate their own government and they just blew up a passenger airplane. He said there's a struggle going on there. He said he thinks there's going to be complete rejection of that government. He said he's all for this but there's a chain of command in our military. He said the commander in chief can't be offering up theories and feelings. He said he has to offer up evidence. He said they're undermining the whole effort if they don't have evidence. Robin said polls show that the country is split on the whole thing. Robin said that the regime may be toppled but whenever that happens the area becomes more unstable. Howard said the whole thing is a mess. He said these countries have oil and they have weapons because of that. He said sometimes they have to be put in their place. He said this has been done in history. He said he thinks it was a mistake to do it at this point in history. He said we have to get out of the middle east. He said it does show that we will only put up with so much before we kill a whole bunch of them. He said he doesn't think there was a lot of thought put into this.
Robin read a story about how there were some arrests made in the shooting down of the passenger jet. Robin said she's not sure why she should care because those 136 people are not coming back. She said the Ayatollah should be taking the blame.
Howard took another call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Mad Dog impression talking about the democratic primaries. Sour Mad Dog was asking for Howard's thoughts on some of that. Howard asked if Imus is there doing his Reverend Billy Saul Hargus. Sour went right into that impression and did that for a few seconds. Howard said that's really good.
Robin read some news about chants of USA and ''Four More Years'' ringing out at the Clemson game.
Robin read about how the senate impeachment trial could be coming up in just days. Robin said they're saying that there will probably be witnesses called. She said Mitt Romney wants to see some witnesses.
Robin read a story about the queen wanting a transition period for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle before they leave. Robin said the Queen would have liked for them to have stayed. Howard said he has the queen on the phone now. He picked up and had someone in the back office doing the impression of the queen. Robin said some people are saying that this wasn't Harry's idea but he's trying to keep things together with Meghan.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's wondering what an Iranian general was doing in Iraq. Howard said they're just waiting to take over once we leave. He said Hussein kept them busy and kept them doing stuff trying to kill each other. Howard said Iran will move right in once we leave Iraq. He said we fucked up when George Bush took Hussein out. The caller said that no one is bringing that up in the news.
Robin read a story about a 4 year old Iowa girl going blind from the flu. Robin said her family says she got it last month and she had a dangerously high fever with her eyes rolling back in her head. Robin said they say that she spent 2 weeks in the ICU. Robin had a news clip to play. Howard said he doesn't want to hear this. He cut off the clip. Howard said Sal is home with the flu. Robin asked if she's been near him. Howard said he saw her talking to him the other day. Robin said she should never talk to him. Robin said the 4 year old had a flu vaccine back in March and thought that would be enough. Howard said with Sal they'll never be able to tell if he gets brain damage from the flu.
Robin read a story about Jeopardy and how the GOAT showdown continues. Robin said they'll resume it today. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Howard started the show talking about how he didn't shower again this morning. He said everyone said his look was good yesterday so he went with that again. He said the water main break happened the other day and they had an alert in the building about the water not being safe to drink or cook with. He said it can't be safe to shower in it. He said his hair looked good yesterday and it's rolling out of the bed hair. He said he thought he looked like Jimi Hendrix. He said his routine is to gel his hair. He said he took a shower yesterday after he did his Peloton thing. He said he figured it was safe by then. He said what Robin is looking at is after a night of sleep with gel in it. He said it's at the proper size after sleeping with it. Robin said lucky me. Howard said the look he has this morning is what he calls Homeless Sheik.
Howard said he and Gary were arguing this morning. He said he goes crazy from some things he says. He said Gary says he loves watching TV with his wife Mary. He said Gary told him that he thinks he's watching too much TV so he bought a jigsaw puzzle. He said now they're going to do puzzles together. Robin said she can't believe this is what they're talking about in there.
Howard said Gary started talking about this and he told him to stop. He said jigsaw puzzles are stupid. He said it's a picture that they're tearing apart and it's just stupid. He said why not just smash a vase or something and put that back together. He said how about learning to play guitar or something instead of doing puzzles. He said Gary says it prevents Alzheimer's. He said he asked when he became a doctor. He said they say everything prevents it. He said chess does too. Robin said she plays a game online that says that. Howard said no one knows what gets rid of it. He said if it was that simple to get rid of it no one would have it. He said using your brain in any way gets rid of it according to Gary.
Howard said he wishes he had thought about doing jigsaw puzzles for a living when his guidance counselor asked about what he wanted to do. He said he doesn't think gluing back a ripped up picture is worthwhile. He said just watch TV with Mary. He said maybe that prevents Alzheimer's. He said maybe chess can do it. He said maybe playing an instrument can help. He said a puzzle isn't doing it.
Howard said he'd like to have Alzheimer's to forget what it was like growing up in Roosevelt. He said he'll forget that his father called him a moron almost every moment of his life. Robin said you might get stuck there. Howard said he might forget how to masturbate.
Howard asked if she's saying he could remember every time his mother lectured him but not remember to eat. Robin said yes and everyone will yell at him like his mother yelled at him. Gary said at the end of his mother's life she was dealing with it and they say that you can forget how to swallow.
Howard said Gary was eating out of a tin of popcorn with a spoon yesterday. Gary said he wasn't able to get to the bottom with his hand. Howard said it was a huge tub. Gary said it was crumbs. He said there were no big pieces left. Howard said Gary does more Peloton than he does. Gary said he does 2 days a week. He said he does 45 minutes each time.
Howard said he did the Jenn Sherman class yesterday. Gary said he did a classic rock ride with her. Howard said he put in a long day there yesterday. He said if he didn't do his workout he figured he'd be miserable. He said he went home around 2 and he had to power through it. He said Jenn is the only teacher he likes on there. He said he won't even look for anyone else. He said he only likes women. He said he's the opposite of what women complain about. He said he likes women directors and all of that. He said he likes women much more than men. He said men are assholes for the most part.
Howard said his one complaint about Jenn is her singing. He said she must have heard about it because she wasn't singing. He said she started to sing but then she shut it down immediately. He said she started explaining stuff in the class. He said he felt so guilty for doing that. He said he's not sure what she's earning over there but she must be thinking about what he said. He said now she's more like a Disc Jockey introducing songs. He said she's doing like what they used to do on the radio. He said he just wanted her to sing. He said he didn't want to fuck her life up.
Howard said he was thinking about the teachers yesterday. He said Jenn was talking about how you just forget about the bullshit of your day because it'll be there for you later. He said he fucked her life up saying she has to stop singing. He said he should have just kept his mouth shut. He said he felt like satan ruining it for her. He did the same thing for Gary and his puzzles.
Howard asked Gary what picture they're trying to put back together. Gary said they haven't done it yet. Gary said Shuli told him it will only end up in an argument. He tried it and that's what happened to him.
Howard said his mother used to have puzzles. He said she was always depressed. He said she'd do the fucking puzzle. He said it was always on the kitchen table. He said she'd have to move it for dinner. He said this fucking puzzle he wanted to burn. He said she'd get aggravated with it. He said she was spending so much time with it that was a picture that was already together at one point. He said she spent hours putting it together. He said she had such an empty life. He said there are so many better things to do. He said read a book together or something.
Robin said people used to read to each other. Howard said he used to see his mom and he'd tell her to just look at the box and she'd be fine. He went into his impression of his mother talking about the puzzle and what she had to do with it.
Howard said his mother would get into a picture and everyone had to quiet down or join in to win her love. He said Gary is an Executive Producer on the show and he lives his life like he's retired. He said it always disturbs him when he hears what he's up to. Gary said he was on a very important phone call at 8:30 last night. He said he'll be happy about that when he hears that.
Gary said they went back to 90 Day Fiancee after that. Howard said he has no problem with that. Howard said when he watches TV he relaxes. He said he watched Ray Donovan last night.
Howard asked how he decided on the puzzle. Gary said he got it for Mary for Christmas. He said it was 10 paintings in one puzzle. Howard asked if it's a wall of paintings. Gary said yes. Howard said how about making a painting instead of putting one back together. Gary said that's a possibility too.
Howard and Fred were doing their impressions of Gary talking about this. Howard asked if he'll glue it back together. Gary said he won't do that. Howard said his mother used to do that. Howard said how about they do Legos. Gary said it might lead to that. Robin said when you have a puzzle on the table you can't use it. Gary said they don't have much use for it now. He said they can put it on something and move it. Howard said how about doing plastic models. Robin said he'll get addicted to the glue. Howard said how about making a tower out of toothpicks. He said he had a friend who made a bridge out of toothpicks. He said how about a coloring book. Gary said Shuli has been down this road and he says they did adult coloring. He said that ended up in arguing too. Jason said they're huge right now with the coloring books.
Howard said he's a painter and at least he's creating his own art. He said he doesn't have a fucking guy drawing something for him to color in. Jason said he knows his wife will kill him but he doesn't care what colors the pictures are. He said they have adult coloring books and you have pencils that you fill them in with. Robin said it's like being in Kindergarten. Robin said Gary should do the loom thing. Howard said how about churning your own butter. He said he would respect that more. He said his mother took up macrame or something. He said at least she was making something.
Howard said Jason's wife might have more time than Gary does. He said he has a friend who paints things on rocks. He said it's awesome. He said that challenges you. Jason said this is the puzzle that Gary has. He said it's like a dozen paintings that they shoved into one picture. Howard took a look at it. Gary said it's a 1000 piece puzzle. Howard said imagine sitting with Gary doing a 1000 piece puzzle.
Gary said he loves that Howard is like Don Rickles and says he loves him before he punches him in the face. Howard asked how much time they spend on the puzzle. Gary said they watch TV for an hour and instead of that they'll do the puzzle. Howard said at least if he watches TV he might find something for the show. Jason said the puzzle will be there for years.
Howard said his mother had a puzzle board that was warped so the puzzle looked retarded. Gary said he knew he was screwed today when he said his mother had a puzzle. Howard said he used to hide pieces from his mom. He said it would make her crazy.
Howard said how about they contact the dead with a Ouija board instead. Gary said they might end up throwing the whole puzzle away today. He said who knows.
Howard said he wasted his whole life perfecting this radio show and he could have just ripped up paintings and making them into puzzles. Howard asked how he found this one. Gary said he went on Amazon and searched for Art Puzzle to find it. Fred did his Gary voice talking about finding the puzzle.
Robin asked what too much TV time is for him. Gary said he watches it when he's not doing Peloton. Howard said it might be cool if the instructor gave the news of the day instead of singing. Gary said he tries to get into it and put it all away for the day until the class is over. He said he has a hard time doing that. Howard said he did a 45 minute ride yesterday. Gary said he tried a new instructor and she was good. Howard said he's going to stick with Jen. He said she's his girl. Robin said he has to stop trying to change her. She said leave her alone and let her be. Howard said he did think he ruined her life. He said please go back to singing. He said she's a big fan of the show so maybe she'll hear this.
Howard said they have this high five thing on the Peloton and he gets so annoyed. He said he doesn't have time for that. He said that the other people are supposed to feel good after you do that. He said he doesn't have time for that.
Robin said there are people who will like your texts too. Howard said he was going to tweet the other day but he decided against it. Robin said Howard liked one of her texts and she was like ''Ooo.'' She doesn't like that. Howard said his kids do that so he started doing it.
Howard said how about playing musical chairs instead of the puzzle. He said how about Duck, Duck, Goose. Howard said he wants to see what Beth would say to him if he suggested a puzzle. Fred said how about hide and go seek. Howard said Gary is busy doing jigsaw puzzles. He said he has a big problem with that. Howard said crossword puzzles would be better. Robin said that keeps your brain active. Howard said that's fine. He said he got up at 3:30 and wrote that whole routine about Gary. He said what if he becomes a jigsaw puzzle champion after this. He said maybe he can collect stamps. Gary said he used to as a kid.
Howard took a call from a woman who suggested doing crafts together. She said Gary's wife is an artist. Gary said his wife is so far ahead of him that it would be ridiculous. Howard said so what. He said he was like that before he started painting. The caller said you can make stuff and hang it in the house. Howard said he's the guy who wants to create something. He said Gary wants to take something that was created, rip it up and put it back together. He said he has a problem with that. He said there are things that you should and shouldn't be doing. He said he knows these things. Robin said those rules only apply to him. Howard said he knows what people should be doing.
Robin said she had a friend who had a problem playing video games for hours. She said if they enjoy it then they can do it. She said everyone is wasting their time if you think about it. Howard said not everyone. He said Bruce Springsteen's son got into the fire department. He said that was really cool. He said that kid has a life of privilege and he is in the fire department now. Robin said he's in the Jersey City Fire Department. Robin said he's 25 and he was a volunteer for years. Howard said that's so great when your kid does something like that. He said he's proud of his daughter for doing something that's great but he's not sure if he wants to mention it.
Howard said they asked Bruce about the whole thing and he said his son can handle himself. The caller said you know you've done something right when your kid does something like that. Howard said his daughter went over and delivered free health care to people who can't afford it overseas. He said it was just wild. The caller said that's amazing. Howard said he told his kids he'll disown them if they take up puzzles.
Howard said it was really amazing when he read about Bruce's kid. He said he's very proud of his own kids too. He said it's pretty cool when you see them doing something like that. Robin said this is the difference between being in the royal family or not. Robin said Bruce's son had the option of doing anything in the world and he's being of service. Howard said he loves that.
The caller said she wanted to say a few things before she goes. She wished Howard a happy birthday and told Robin that she's an inspiration. She said she loves Howard even though she said that she thought he was disgusting when she was younger. She said she loves the show now. Howard thanked her for that.
Howard said one of the guys was doing the elevator work this morning and he gets the weather from him on the way up. He said he told him to have a good weekend. He said he bets he'll be jetting off to some place with sunny weather. Howard said his fantasy of his life is so much better than his life. He said he's going to be staring at a wall eating Metamucil crackers instead of jetting off.
Howard said Gary is going to want to listen to this. He said the guy who invented puzzles is on the phone. He said he has Alzheimer's. Howard took the call from the guys in the back who were doing the voice of the guy who was calling Howard ''Casey'' and shitting his pants.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Gary impression and popping popcorn and doing puzzles. He was doing music trivia with Howard too. Howard said it sounds like he has another book in him. Sour Gary said he's going to do a crossword puzzle too. He had some music playing behind him. He had the song Popcorn by Hot Butter playing. Howard asked him to turn it down a bit. Sour Gary was going on and on telling stories about the Wrap Up Show and things like that. Howard had to hang up on him. He said that's an amazing impression. He said he thinks Gary goes to Sour's house and does the impression.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Gary called himself the wrong name for being a stamp collector. He corrected him on that.
Howard said Gary won't take a 45 minute class on Peloton. He said he takes a 30 and a 15 minute. Gary said he doesn't know why but that's how he does it. Howard said it's not a real 45 minute class then. Gary said it works for him. Gary told Howard how he does it and why he does it that way. Howard said he's okay on that but the jigsaw puzzle thing has to go.
Howard asked if Gary really doesn't think Sour sounds like him. Gary said he thinks so. Howard said he sounds exactly like him. He said he has every nuance there. He said the guy is a genius.
Howard said people are calling in to complain about the adult coloring books thing. Howard took one and a guy said the High Register Sean call was great yesterday. He said that Robin was right about Dracula on Netflix. He said it's amazing. The caller said his girlfriend is going through some health issues and the coloring books help her. Howard said why not read a book. Robin said when you're sick sometimes you can't read. Howard said she can draw then. Robin said she can do what works for her. Howard said it's not right. Robin said there is no such thing as not right. Howard said go ahead and do it then.
Howard quoted Loki about something. He said he always gets beat up by Thor. Howard said that Hawkeye character should be dead. He said he likes Jeremy Renner as an actor but his character blows. He said he doesn't blame him. He said he can't figure out Scarlet Johansson's character either. He said he's not sure if she has super powers. He said he's not sure if she's a human being or does she have some super power. Robin said she thought they were teamed up because they didn't have super powers. Howard said that's because they're lame. He said if he was the Hulk he'd be like ''Why do I need them?'' He said he's not going to team up with them. He said he has to spend all of his time saving those two idiots. Robin said that doesn't make much sense but it's the movies.
Howard said he has a lot to get to today. He said they'll get to it when it's the right time. They went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from a guy who said they were talking about the super heroes. He asked what he thinks about Captain America. Howard said he's another puzzling guy. He said they have to get him involved in that one movie with Loki. He said he has to put on a parachute because he doesn't fly. He said he almost missed the fight because he had to come in that way. He said he does have some powers though. He said he is a super soldier. He said the bow and arrow guy has some powers too. He said he has to hide. Howard said stop calling him about that nonsense.
Howard said he was thinking about High Pitch Erik. He said the news came out about him getting the new truck. He said he tried to fuck with Chris Wilding in the back of the truck. He said High Pitch Erik was talking about his medical condition with the penis being inverted. He said he was thinking about that. He said he has a lot to play for Robin today. He said this is what happened.
Howard said Erik showed up in the new truck and Shuli recorded Erik leaving Chris a voicemail. Howard played the clip where Erik asked him to come down and see his new truck.
Howard played another clip where Erik talked about what he wanted to do to Chris in the back of his truck. Erik also revealed that he thinks he got a hard on but maybe just a tiny bit. He said his ball sack is inverted so he can't tell. Howard said he thinks he means his penis. Howard said he thinks maybe he has multiple ball sacks. He said maybe he's a straight, giant girl.
Howard asked Chris about Erik throwing his leg over Chris and what he did to him there. Robin said it sounds like if Erik wanted to take advantage of him he wouldn't be able to stop it. Chris came in and said that he casually threw his leg over him and he wasn't able to move.
Chris said they were out in the truck laying in the bed and looking up at the sky. He said he put his leg over him and he thought about how he's like Lenny from Of Mice and Men. He said he just moved his leg right over him without warning. Howard said it's like Harvey Weinstein trying to get in one thrust with that woman.
Howard said Erik tried to explain why his penis and balls are inverted. He played the clip of Erik talking about how he has to pull his penis out of his body sometimes. He said if he wears sweat pants they crush his penis. Shuli said he's never heard of that before. Erik said his cock is always pushed in. He said Howard said he has no penis. He said when he has to pee he has to pull it out. Shuli asked how he pulls it out. Erik was going to show him but they were out on the street. Shuli stopped him from doing that.
Howard said he thinks he's too old to get up where they want him to be. Jenn said you don't want to go any faster than 80 RPM. She said just do what makes you feel good. Howard said he's in shape and he's hot now because of that. He thanked her for calling in. Jenn said she has to teach at 10:30 so she's on her way to work. Howard let her go after that.
Howard said that's his teacher. He said she pends more time with her than anyone. He said he wasn't able to do any exercise and he got that bike and now he can. He said she's important to him. Robin said everything has to fit him and that's why he's so difficult. Howard said he's a narcissist so that's why he's like that.
Howard asked Chris how he got out of the car with Erik. Chris said he agreed to go with him to see Sesame Street on Broadway. He said he's going to do that with him and he's not buying the tickets. He said he doesn't want to lead him on. Howard said he's just looking for a friend. Chris asked if Robin has ever had a friend pin her down. Robin said no. Robin said she found it interesting that he wanted to make out with him because he knows how he feels about him.
Howard said Shuli went driving with him and he had his recorder running. He said Erik is so filled with road rage. Shuli came in and said that this is the scariest thing with him now. Howard played a montage of Erik freaking out and calling people names while driving. He was honking and yelling at people.
Howard said he said a lot of cunt in that clip. Shuli did his impression of Erik doing that. He said that word is so much more disgusting when Erik says it. He said he told him that one day someone is going to get out and beat him up. He said he's not going to defend him if he does.
Shuli said the other day Erik got 4 chicken sandwiches from Popeyes and Chick-Fil-A and ate all four. Shuli said he has a video of him in the bed with Chris too. He showed him that and then showed it to Robin. Robin gave that a ''Oh wow!'' Robin said it looks like King Kong. Howard asked if that's going up on the app. Shuli said Jason has the video so they might be working on it. Howard said he's not sure what category they'd put that in. Chris said ''Monsters.''
Howard said that's just awesome. He said one time Chris felt his dick and it wasn't there. Chris said he's not sure what he was feeling down there. He said Erik sent him a dick pic once and he's still not sure what he's looking at. Howard said Shuli has to go with Chris and Erik to the Broadway show.
Robin asked if the police realize what they've released on the road with Erik. Howard said the DMV did that. Robin said the cops are too lenient on him. Shuli said he's pretty sure the instructor was taking a nap during the test. He said he didn't think there was any way he was going to pass the test. He said he rode there with him.
Howard did his Oprah impression and asked what goes on at these things. He said he saw that Gwyneth Paltrow invented a candle that smells like her vagina. He said it's $75 and it's called ''Smells Like My Vagina.'' He said they started selling it and it has a bunch of scents in it. He said it's sold on her web site Goop.com. He said there's a wait list for it. He said the candle sold out. Robin said there is no logic in the world.
Howard asked if women smell their own vagina. Robin said Howard smells himself. Howard said he smells his under arms easily. Robin said that you might swipe down there and smell it. She said that you might do that. She said she has done it but not every day. Howard said he never pictured her doing that. He asked what it smells like. Robin said you want to know what the person is going to be presented with. Chris asked if she has ever tasted it. Robin said here we go. Howard said we don't need to know that.
Howard asked if vagina smells good to Robin. Robin said it's just your own scent. She said it's like ''Oh!'' Howard wondered if he could sell a candle to his audience that smells like Ronnie's balls. He said he had no idea women smell their own vagina. Robin asked if he thinks a woman wants to know what a man will be experiencing. Howard said he never looked at it that way. He said it makes him feel like women are more like guys than he thought. He said he likes to smell his taint. Chris said he smells the area between his ball and thigh. Howard asked if Robin smells so good it would make a candle scent. Robin said she never thought of that.
Howard said the Goop thing is for mostly women. Robin asked if it's supposed to be for men or women. Howard said he's not sure.
Howard said Oprah is on tour and it makes him crazy. He said on Instagram she's packing for her tour. He said he wants to go to see what she's doing. He said he has to see what women are freaking out over.
Howard said Oprah is packing for the tour and you know she's not doing it. He said she has these things on her floor and you know she's not doing it. Howard played a clip of Oprah singing about packing.
Howard took a call from fake Judi Dench who said she wants to smell her vagina. She took a whiff and threw up.
Howard said everyone is keyed into Oprah and follow this. He said he watches it to get annoyed. He said he follows her and he loves it. He said it makes him crazy. He said Beth tells him to stop following her but he can't. He said he has to do it.
Howard read an article where they describe what Oprah does in this tour. Howard said they serve food and they have Julianne Hough there to talk about some Kinergy method. Howard said then they have an interview where Oprah talks to people. Howard said he could do a racket like that. He said he could drag along his friends for the interviews. He said he could serve some Metamucil crackers. He said he could probably get Hillary to go along with it now that they're friends.
Howard read about some of the upcoming interviews she'll be doing. He said she could have just kept doing the TV show to do this.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she smells her own underwear to find out what's going on down there. Howard said just give it a swipe with your hand. She said she does it after her husband has been down there. Howard said he has been with some women who he wonders if they have ever smelled down there. He said it smells like ass down there. He said he's making out with them and he can smell it from way up there. He said they knew they'd be fucking and wondered if they even bathed. Robin said that's why you check. Howard said Robin has talked about this with him. He said she squats over a desk fan before she makes love. Robin said that's ridiculous.
Howard said it's shocking that women he's been with smell. He said it's really bad. He said he knows guys have odors too but he showers before he's with anyone. Chris said he's had the same experience. He said there's cheese down there with the uncircumcised guys.
Howard asked the caller if she has ever smelled her hand after swiping it. She said she has used toilet paper to do that. Howard said Robin uses her hand. Robin said you don't get the smell if you use toilet paper. She said you have to use your hand so it's the same thing that will be used on you.
Shuli asked if Robin has ever gotten a really bad smell. Robin said no because you know if you're going to smell after working out or something. Howard said he needs to know what's going on down there. He said he has to monitor himself. He said he's smelled stuff down there. Howard let the caller go a short time later.
Howard said Oprah was showing off her gardens in Hawaii. He said this is her telling everyone what she has there. Howard said these videos are really well produced. He said she even has ukulele music playing in them. He said he doesn't think he's jealous but he must be. He said she should be doing this on her TV show and not on Instagram.
Howard played the clip of Oprah talking about the stuff she has in her garden. Howard asked if Robin is getting worked up over that. Robin said she could care less.
Howard took a call from a guy who said his wife went to that Oprah thing in Ft. Lauderdale. He said he can't stand Oprah himself. The caller said Robin didn't come on until after an hour of the show going. He said it started at 9 and she showed up after 10. The guy said his wife facetimed him and she wasn't there yet. He said it was like a $250 ticket too. Howard said they should get in on this kind of thing. The caller said his wife even came back and said it wasn't life changing at all like people were saying it is.
Howard said he has a guy on the phone who said he paid $450 for a ticket. The caller said a family friend bought two tickets at $450 each. He said the show went on all day long. Howard said you do get value for your dollar. The caller said his mother in law said she can't do 7 hours there. Howard said that's a lot of time. He said if you go to a concert you go for 3 hours and you're done.
Robin said she can't sing or dance so Oprah has to keep you there for a long time. The caller said you do get lunch. Howard said that's from Weight Watchers and that's her company. He said it's probably Melba toast with a smear.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she has never smelled her vagina in 61 years. She said that these people are longing for something. She was singing all of that like Oprah. Howard hung up on her in the middle of a sentence.
Howard spent more time talking about Oprah and what she's up to at these shows. Howard took a call from fake Whoopi Goldberg who was making the girls at The View smell her pussy. One of them passed out.
Howard said this is Oprah talking about her private meals in her kitchen. Howard said he's seen these clips many times. He played the clip and Oprah was talking about the point system with the meals she has. Howard asked who can relate to this. He asked who has a private chef.
Howard played a clip of Oprah talking about making her own meal because her private chef wasn't there. Howard said he made his own meal last night when Beth wasn't there. He told the guys what he made. He said he had an omelet with cheese. He said he never thought about putting it up on social media. He said it's fucked up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said his wife went to the Oprah thing and they had a Panera lunch box for the meal. Howard wondered how she worked that out. The caller said his wife felt really good when she left and these two older ladies gave her the finger because she was trying to get in front of them. He said it really changed their lives.
Howard said he didn't want to spend all of this time on Oprah. He said he has to take a break. He said Oprah threw a party for Gayle King on Instagram. He said he had to see that. He said the table looked like something out of the royal wedding. He said he has to admit that he's addicted to it. Shuli said he has to subscribe and follow so he can see what Howard is suffering through.
Howard played some audio of Oprah and Gayle talking about her party. Howard said people buy into this stuff. He said he's not sure how regular women relate to this. He said he gets that Oprah is trying to elevate people. He said he thinks it's a little out of touch though. He said he thinks that he could be more realistic if he did something like that. He said he'd teach women how to smell their vagina.
Howard said he's not sure if there's anything worse for the environment than flying flowers in for a party from Holland. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said that's a great song. He said it makes him very upset and sad. Robin said it has a sad quality to it. Howard said he's not even sure what he's saying. Robin said it's something about going for the wrong men and he's the right guy. Howard said he's trying to make himself the good guy. Howard said he's a great guy but he's ugly and a shithead too. Howard said he gets what Bruce is singing about. He said he thinks he was singing this with his wife on Broadway. He said it really blew his mind.
Howard said he has a new phony phone call to play. He said people with speech impediments think they should have a radio show. He said if you were good enough in the past you could get a job. He said now everyone has a show. He said this is the guys busting balls on a sports show.
Howard played the call where the guys called into this show where they asked him not to curse. They asked the guys to suggest some shows to him to learn some things about the sports they talk about. They suggested MLB and SiriusXM but the guy acted like he didn't know what all of that was. They kept hanging up on him when he'd call in with questions like ''what is a score?'' The guys kept calling in with questions like that.
Howard said they're the only ones calling that show. He said you can see his point about that show. He said the guy stutters and they didn't leave that in. Howard said they cut it for time. Howard said listen to this guy. He had some outtakes from the call where the host was stuttering really bad saying he had lost his train of thought. that lasted about 30 seconds alone.
Howard said that was not edited. He said it was one long stream. He said he thinks the stuff they cut out was really funny.
Howard said they say that this guy picks up as soon as they call. He said that's a gold mine for them. He said that way they can get right through.
Howard said he heard about how SiriusXM is involved with some technology where you can pay for your food with a button on your dashboard. He said he heard about that from someone. He said that's thinking outside the box. Robin said she left her purse at home the other day with her credit cards. She wondered what she would do. She said she'd be fine with something like that.
Howard said I Heart Radio announced they're cutting salaries and stuff. He said the people who said he was stupid for moving there will be coming to him for jobs now. Howard said no one will pick up on this story. He said they'll just write about how he sucks.
Howard said he heard about how Gary was pulled aside by a couple of DJs at NBC who told him not to go to work for Howard Stern because it would be bad for his future. Gary said he was told it would have grave ramifications on his career. He said they also said that Howard and Robin were not nice people. He said that just made him want to work for them more. He said it seemed like they were more interesting when they said that to him.
Howard said everyone at NBC hated him. He said he didn't want to do straight news on his show and they wanted him to do that. He said that everyone was threatened by the way he wanted to do his show. He said he was coming in and upsetting the whole apple cart.
Howard said the engineers hated him because he wanted to create bits quickly. He said they'd be on their break and didn't want to get it done. He said he was very driven to do stuff there.
Howard said he didn't know that Gary was pulled aside and talked to. Gary said his first job he was in the union there. Howard said he was a traffic copter guy. Gary said he was only working 3 hours a day. He said that guy told him that he would have a problem with the union if he went to work for Howard and Robin.
Howard said they had like $150 in the budget to hire Gary. Gary said it was $150 before taxes. He said it was like $114 after taxes. Howard said he wasn't making much more than that.
Howard said they came there and it turns out it wasn't such a bad idea. He said that was his point. He said critics were saying it was a bad move and he wouldn't survive. Robin said they didn't think satellite was going to succeed. Howard said that's right. He went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he has the guys in for the Year in Review. He said he has Gary, Jason, JD, Brent, Shuli and Ronnie in there.
Howard said Sal was out for four days with pneumonia and the flu. He said Richard was nervous about that. He said that he didn't want to share the office with Sal but Sal got a doctor's note. He told Robin to avoid Sal today. Robin said she's going to do that the rest of her life.
Sal said he thinks that he caught it from Gary's desk. He said Ronnie got really ill too. Ronnie said he did not. He said that was from screaming. Sal said Robin got real sick too. Howard said Sal didn't get a flu shot. Gary said he should go wipe his face on his desk. Howard said Sal refuses to get a flu shot. He said he says he never gets it so he doesn't need it. Howard said he takes one every year. He said they all get it done.
Gary said they offer it for free there. He said someone comes there and they have it set up. Gary said all employees get it for free. He said he went there one day and he wasn't on the list so he wasn't able to get it. He said Sal could get it. Sal said next year he'll do it then. Gary said of course he will because he got sick.
Jason said Sal was coughing up blood because it was so bad. Howard asked if that's true. Sal said yes. He said it looked like a murder scene on his night stand. He said his sinuses were drying out from the medication he was on. He said he went to sleep that night and his nose was crusted shut from the blood. He said he hacked up something dark and purple from the blood. Howard said that's disgusting. Ronnie said he's broken. He said he has a problem with his balls too.
Howard asked what's up with the balls. Sal said he has a cyst on his balls. He said he has to be very careful with it. Howard asked if Richard is still worried about him. Sal said he went to the doctor and got clearance to be there. He said he stayed home while he was sick. Ronnie said the doctor is a lunatic like Sal. Sal said the guy is a good guy. Howard said the guy has to be pretty bright if he's a doctor. He said Sal isn't that bright. He said he can have a bright friend but he's not sure what's in it for the doctor. He asked what they talk about. Sal said they talk about how stupid Gary is. Sal said he can conduct himself fine in a conversation. He said they have plenty to talk about.
Sal said he was a science major in college and he was doing just fine. Gary said he'd like to see the transcript. Jason said Sal had the lowest IQ of the staffers who took the test. Gary said he was the highest of the Wack Packers though.
Howard asked how Sal is feeling today. Sal said he's feeling like shit now. He said he's actually feeling okay. Sal said he wanted to make sure he was good enough to come to work and not get anyone sick.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to talk to the X-ray technologist Sal. Sal said he knows it's a technician. He said he was taking X-ray technology. The caller said Sal is still vaping. Sal said he is a little bit. The caller said that's why he was coughing up blood. He said that's where the blood came from. He said he should stop it immediately. Robin said this is the guy who won't take a vaccine but he'll vape. Gary asked if Sal is going to stop vaping. Sal said he didn't say that. Sal asked if Shuli is smoking after having angina. Shuli said he is. He said Sal is buying this liquid tobacco.
Howard said it's enough of that. He said he gets reports on Sal. He said he heard he was making sure his vape was charged so he has it for the rest of the day. Sal said he wants to stop but it's not as easy as he thought. Howard said he just stops if he's told to stop something. He said if he's told to stop drinking he'll stop.
Howard said he loves that people say they're trying. He said it reminds him of the 600 Pound Life people who can't stop eating. Robin said he's not disciplined in every area. Howard said yes he is.
Howard let Sal off the hook and asked if anyone is worried about getting the flu from him. JD said he is because he's in his office. Howard didn't know that's where he was. Jason said that's all of JD's microphone and keyboard. He said he loves the bullshit of the vapes. He said they were supposed to be safer but they're hard to quit. Sal told him to look in the mirror. He said he looks like a bloated body just pulled out of the Hudson. Howard said he's not attacking him. Sal said he knows that. He said it is an addiction and he is addicted to it. Howard said he's talking about the industry saying it's not as additive. Sal said now he's sicker than ever. Gary said he's so sensitive. Howard said he didn't know that Sal was gone. He said that's when you're in trouble.
Howard said this is the recap of Brent talking about ''soft swinging.'' He played a clip of Brent making that revelation on the show.
Howard asked if he wishes he could turn back the clock and never have swung. Brent said no. Jason said it doesn't seem to have been a good year for him. Brent said it has nothing to do with swinging. Ronnie said they did talk about this because he's not like the same guy. He said he's like a turtle. He said he walks around there like his head is in his shell. He said it's like he's not there half the time. Jason said he does seem distracted. Howard asked if he is a shell of his former self. Ronnie said he thinks he's in over his head over this whole thing.
Brent said he's not depressed. Howard said he has those massive headaches and it makes him incapacitated. Brent said he's had them since he was 14. Shuli said it's been a lot more prevalent than before. He said he doesn't remember him having them a year ago. Brent said they have gotten worse in the past 3 months. Howard said Ronnie has theories about this. Brent said he's going to go by what the neurologist has to say. He said it has nothing to do with stress.
Brent said they did parties back in July and then the swinging in October. Ronnie said that's when he started walking around there like an axe murderer. Brent said when they're up for it they'll do it again. He said they've been busy and don't have time for it.
Ronnie said he knows he'll never admit it. Brent said he broke some rules in L.A. and that's what their fights were over. Jason said they went to a swinger party and that last one was when it all went wrong. Brent said he wasn't there so he has no idea what he's talking about.
Robin said there was a ramping up period and that took up their lives. Brent said that's the only part she heard. He said that's not how it went.
Howard said this is a clip of Brent revealing he's a 7. Howard played the clip where Brent said at those parties he's a 7 on a scale of 10.
Howard said they did learn a lot from Brent and Katelyn this year. He asked if he wishes he hadn't done any of this. Brent said no. He said they're figuring things out.
Howard said they have a clip of Brent talking about nothing happening when they went out swinging. He played a clip where Brent talked about hanging out with a black couple to possibly swing with them. Brent said that Katelyn wasn't able to do anything because of her breast enhancement. Shuli was questioning everything that was going on.
After that clip Howard said Brent is ready to fight with Shuli right now. Brent said her tits had to heal.
Howard said after months of almost swinging he said it finally happened. He had another clip where Brent told the story about their first swinging experience. Shuli was questioning all of that again in that clip.
Howard said they're doing the year in review and Brent had a mind blowing thing happen. He said they had their ups and downs during the year. He said Shuli became doubtful of his story and he didn't think he was telling the truth. He said this is another example of that. He played a clip where Brent talked about working out in the gym for when he goes swinging. Shuli asked why he wouldn't want to be that way for his wife instead of strangers.
Howard said what a saga this was. He said the whole L.A. thing happened. He said that Brent lost his mind out there. Howard asked what Ronnie saw out there. Ronnie said he was pacing a lot out there. He said he had people who saw what he saw out there. He said he was pacing and had his sunglasses on and off. He said he wasn't able to sit still. Shuli said he was sitting there shaking his head and he said this was the worst failure in his radio career. Gary said they had great shows out there and they went to take a picture and Brent was the only one pouting in the photo. Howard said this isn't good for Brent.
Howard said Brent and Katelyn did their own things that week. He said this is Katelyn talking about having sex with the Jackhammer. He played the clip where she told Chris Wilding about what happened with Jackhammer.
Howard said he wouldn't want a jacked up porn star fucking his wife. Brent said he had fun out in L.A. too. Howard said Brent claimed he had sex so long that he had to take a break to urinate. Howard played that clip where Brent gave details on that date.
Howard said he can't believe a girl would put up with that. He said he's never had sex like that. He said he might last 3 or 4 minutes. Brent asked if he still wears condoms. Howard said he does. He said he doesn't want to get pregnant.
Howard said Ralph has a theory on Brent and Katelyn. He took his call and Ralph said he thinks Brent thought this would be fun on the air and it all went horribly wrong. Brent said it didn't. Ralph said it's not fun or funny. He said they should have gotten a handle on it and then brought it on the air. Gary said he thinks he's right. He said he thinks he's upset about the way the audience perceives him. Brent said nothing is weighing on him. He said he's in actual pain.
Howard took a call from Swinger Brent who was at the swinger club. He took the call and fake Brent was talking about getting into some swinging out there. Howard hung up on that because there was a lot of music playing in that.
Howard said wrapping this up there were a lot of great drops that came out of that. He played a montage of those drops.
Howard said he crated a lot of drops so congratulations on that. Robin said one episode was missing out of that. She said that's when Steve went with them to an event and described what goes on there and what it smells like. Howard said he can't hit all of it. He said he gave a little taste. Robin said they're still painting the pretty picture that Brent gives us and not the reality. Robin said he can't see himself like they can.
Howard said Ronnie said the word ''weird'' but it came out ''weirt.'' He said Fred uses these drops all the time. Howard said they made a game out of this and he's going to play it with Robin. He asked if Bobo butchered equation or symbolizes? Robin said symbolizes. Howard played a clip and said she's right. He had Bobo fucking that word up but spelling it correctly.
Howard asked Robin if Bobo messed up Bar Mitzvah or Cognitive? Robin said Cognitive. Howard said she's right. He played the clip where Bobo fucked that one up. He said ''conjative.''
Howard asked Robin if Ronnie fucked up systematic or concierge? Robin said it was concierge. Howard said that's right. He played the clip where Ronnie fucked it up. Ronnie said it like ''con-see-air.''
Howard asked Ronnie to say it today. Ronnie was still saying it wrong so Howard taught him how to say it. He eventually got it right.
Howard asked Robin if she thinks Sal butchered the word dabbling or massage? Robin said she's going to say dabbling. Howard said she got one wrong. He said he messed up massage. Howard played the clip where Sal said ''massadge'' and he corrected him on it.
Howard said that Robin only missed one. He said that's very good. Fred played more clips of Sal fucking up words.
JD said this was another news flub where this guy mispronounced the name of a cop's name wrong. He said her name was Deirdre something and they said it wrong. Howard played the clip and the female reporter said it like Deedee Magadoodoo.
Howard asked what he has next. JD said this is a Philadelphia weather person saying ''Windy shitty'' instead of windy city.
JD said this is a woman on HLN doing a story on chronic patients. Howard played the clip and the reporter said ''around the cock care'' instead of clock care.
Howard asked what he has next. JD said he has a reporter who said ''cunt'' accidentally. Howard played that one and Ronnie laughed hard at that one.
Howard asked what you think was on her mind. He said maybe she should slow down. Howard asked if he has more. JD said he has 2 more. He said this next one is about NFL players who have bulging disks but the reporter said bulging dick. Howard played that one and Ronnie laughed again. Howard said that was clear as a bell.
Howard asked what JD has next. JD said this is a big one. He said this guy from Rochester, NY got fired over this. He said he was talking about Martin Luther King Jr. He ended up saying ''Martin Luther Coon.'' Brent said he thinks he just slipped on air. Gary said he can see how that happens. He said you're trying to say King Junior and it comes out that way. Howard said that could happen to anyone. Gary said he thinks he's saying prevalent wrong because of Sal saying it wrong. Howard said he has more to play but he has to take a break. He said they got to a lot today. He said he has a lot more though. Ronnie said they have another week next week. He said he'll be there all 3 days.
Howard said Ronnie laughs whenever he hears the word dick or cunt. He said that's what they learned today. Shuli said Ronnie loves that stuff. Ronnie said Shuli is waiting right outside the door whenever they talk about anything he had to do with. Shuli said that's because he's supposed to be there.
Howard asked if Ronnie spoke to the person about the tape from the trip he was on. Ronnie said he hasn't spoken to that person because he's on vacation. Shuli said he has a friend who knows them and he's going to get that clip. Ronnie said he's full of shit. Shuli said the guy reached out to him this morning. Ronnie said bullshit. Howard said Shuli may be able to get the tape. Shuli said he may have audio, video or one of the party he married to come on the air or at least be interviewed. He said he may get permission to reenact the speech he made.
Howard said there's a lot of people who think that they're busting Ronnie's balls too much over that. He said he doesn't think so though.
Jason said he thinks that Ronnie is hedging his bets and making friends for when he leaves the show. Ronnie said he has lots of friends. Robin asked if he has friends and a job. Ronnie said he took the day off for himself. He said he wanted to fly to where he was going so he didn't have to rush there. Robin said they were down there partying and he couldn't stand not being there. Robin said they all got there the same day. Robin said that's right, they were all going to be there partying. Ronnie said he went there a day early. Howard said it would have been cooler if he had gone down later. Ronnie said they all wound up landing around the same time. Howard said the wedding wasn't until Saturday. Ronnie said he knows that. Ronnie said he took a personal day for himself. He said he didn't do it for his friends. Robin said he's a mess. Ronnie said he's not a mess. Ronnie said he couldn't go Wednesday night because there were no flights. He said he would have had to have gone down on Thursday. Jason said he picked his friends over the show.
Howard said Shuli says he can get he tape somehow. Shuli said he's making it his mission. He said he will bring it. Ronnie said Shuli has no idea who this guy is. Jason said they know who it is because there are pictures tagged online. Ronnie said leave him alone. Gary asked if he was talking to Robin or the puppet when he said ''go fuck yourself.'' Ronnie said he didn't know his idiot fiancee tagged these people. He said he didn't know that. He said he doesn't look at Instagram. Shuli said he might want to start.
Ronnie said they may not want their personal shit on air. Shuli said they're tagged in the photos. Ronnie said leave him alone. Howard said Stephanie is his source then. Shuli said she's not. Ronnie said if she is then she better pack her bags and leave. Shuli said he will not tell him who his source is. He said it is someone close to him though. Howard said Ronnie underestimates the show. Ronnie said it doesn't mean he'll get the video. Shuli said they want to play ball and they abandon all morals to get on the show. Ronnie said he knows who he's going to go after.
Howard said now that's a year in review. He said Ronnie's hearing is starting to go. Ronnie puppet said ''What?'' Howard said every morning he says something to Ronnie and he'll go ''What?'' Ronnie said it's a habit. He said Stephanie yells at him about that. Howard said he thinks he hears him but he wants him to repeat himself. Ronnie said Howard doesn't hear him either. Howard said most times he does. Howard asked why he makes him repeat himself. He asked if that's a control thing. Ronnie said he doesn't know.
Howard said he knows when he's angry with someone he'll go ''what'' but that's to make them say it again. Ronnie said if he's angry he won't talk. Howard asked why he has to make him go through that. Ronnie said it must be a habit. Howard said he's making him repeat himself. He said it's like he's trying to control him. Ronnie said it's not a control thing. Howard said he pulled that again this morning. Ronnie said he can't hear good out of his right ear. He said he had an incident a few years ago and he was in the pits the whole time and he didn't have headphones on. He said he was a big shot and didn't wear them. He said by the end of the race he couldn't hear for 3 days. Howard asked if he thought he looked cooler without them. Ronnie said they were just bothering him.
Ronnie said he went to a hearing doctor and he lost hearing in his right ear. Gary asked if he would wear a hearing aide if he had to. Ronnie said he would.
Shuli said he has to be Mr. NASCAR out there. He said he was supposed to sit in this VIP area and this woman didn't let them up there so Ronnie got so pissed off. He said he was yelling about what bullshit it was. Ronnie said it was Kurt's pit box and they were supposed to be up there. He said this woman from Ford didn't know who they were. He said they tried to explain to her who they were and she basically told them to get the fuck out of there.
Howard said they have to get to some news. He said they're going long on this. He said he has a ton of people who want to weigh in on this.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to say this is the best radio when Ronnie is getting busted on by everyone. He said they should put a heart monitor on him to see who gets him going the most. Ronnie said it's a tie between Robin and Shuli. He said Jason is worse out there. Howard said he thinks Wolfie gets him going. Ronnie said that's only when he's assigned to do something with him. Shuli said he thinks Stephanie gets him going more than any of them. He said she just has to ask one question and he's set off. Howard said King of All Blacks sets him off too. Ronnie said not like Shuli. He said he really knows how to get under his skin. He said Robin is just for a minute and Shuli can go for days. He said he is the best person for exaggeration. He said it's unbelievable. He said you just want to kill him.
Howard said Chris Wilding gets him going too. Ronnie said he does but not like Shuli. Gary asked if he would invite Shuli to his wedding. Ronnie said definitely.
Howard took a call from Pocket who said he thinks he has to break up with his girlfriend like Ronnie was talking about. Howard said he's bored and doesn't want to get into it.
Shuli asked if Bobo is on. Howard said he is. Shuli said Bobo's Instagram was hacked and he's doing a weird thing where he's posting pictures of Beth and things like that. Bobo said he got hacked and he had like 9,000 followers. Gary said his wife's Instagram was hacked too. He said she had 40 followers. Howard said Russia is a third world country and they have nothing but that fuck Vladimir Putin. Ronnie said they have great strippers there. Jason said their entire history has been like that. Robin said the strippers he knows are over there. Ronnie said that's right. Robin said they were doctors over in Russia.
Howard said to spend time hacking into Mary's Instagram seems like a tremendous amount of time. Gary said he emailed Instagram 3 times and they ignored him. Bobo said he did too and they didn't get back to him. Bobo said they have everything he had on there. He said it's all gone now. He said they had his private number on there those mother fuckers.
Howard said maybe they'll take over his account and post some stuff. He said it's better than nothing. Howard let Bobo go and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said they went out on the street and asked people if they smell their vagina. He had some audio of one of their guys going out and asking people about that. He also asked men that the smell is like down there on their wives.
Howard said that's your insta-poll. He said he thought that was funny. Robin said they didn't learn much.
Howard said they should get to news. They played Robin into it with a song parody about her giant tits. Howard said he liked that one. He said that's another admirer of her's. Robin asked if they have played that person's songs before. Howard said a couple.
Robin started off the news with a story about the inductees to this year's rock hall of fame. Robin went over a list of the nominees. She said out of those the class of 2020 is going to be The Doobie Brothers. Howard said he wants to think about this. Robin said Depeche Mode is also in. Howard said he's not sure what songs they did. Gary gave him an example. Robin said Nine Inch Nails too. Howard said they're good. He said he'll tune in for that. He said Trent Reznor is the whole Nine Inch Nails. He said he has a band but it's Trent Reznor. Robin said the Notorious B.I.G. is also inducted. Howard said that's not his thing. Robin said T. Rex is in. Howard said they two hit songs. He sang a little bit of each one. Robin said Whitney Houston is also in. Howard said she was more of a pop star. He said they go in all of those areas. Robin said Pat Benetar. Howard said she should be in. He said she had a string of hits. Robin said Sound Garden was passed up. Howard said that's stupid.
Howard said he has Sour Gary on the phone to talk about the Doobie Brothers. He took his call and Sour did his Gary impression for a few seconds and then he broke into Imus. Howard said he doesn't understand the hall of fame and how they make those decisions.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a beef with some things they said yesterday about the Astros cheating. Howard said he doesn't really care. The caller said that the coach has to make the call on pitches. Howard cut him off and said he has a headache.
Howard took a call from a guy who said when Jon Hein watches Serpico he thinks he roots for the cops. Howard said he got a lot of email about that cheating scandal. He said people were baffled by Jon defending them for cheating. Howard read through some of that. Howard said he thinks Jon was trying to be outrageous. He said if he goes on TV and says their cheating is terrible then he's like everyone else. He said that's a different opinion. He said then you wonder what the fuck is wrong with this guy. Howard said the email agrees with this caller.
Howard said Jon is silent on this today. He said he liked the email that said he should go back to evaluating shows that suck.
Robin read a story about Ken Jennings winning the greatest of all time Jeopardy series. Robin said it only took him 4 days. She had some audio for Howard to play from that final show of the match. Robin said that Jon Hein thinks that Ken will be the next host of Jeopardy. Howard said he thinks he's way off on that. He said he thinks Alex had his background in radio and they need a smooth guy with a look. Robin said Ken has taken on a lot of public speaking. She said he doesn't go back to some regular job and hide from people. She said he has been very animated and funny on the show. She said she thinks Jon is on to something. Jon said he thinks that he'd be accepted and he'd be good at it. Howard said you have to be a professional announcer to do it. He said Alex never makes a mistake. Robin said Ken is very smart. Howard said you can't just have some shlub off the street. He said he's trying to keep their jobs. Howard said he has been offered 3 game shows and he's tempted to do it. He said he would love to tell her what he's been offered but that's not cool. He said these shows have all made it on the air. He said sometimes he gets depressed about it. He said he backed out of one deal he had negotiated. Jon said it depends on the schedule. He said he'd be great on Match Game. He said he thinks Ken Jennings would work on Jeopardy. Howard said he doesn't like the idea of a regular guy getting that job. Jon said he thinks he'd be very good. Howard said he thinks George Stephanopoulos would be really good on that show. He said that's the kind of guy he's talking about. He said in the end it'll probably be Ryan Seacrest. Robin said no one is sitting for that. Jon said the fans would be in an uproar over that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that the guy who changed the game on Jeopardy was James Holzhauer. He said he changed it and everyone was playing like him. He said he's the greatest. Howard said at the end of the day it was Ken who won. Ralph said James is the greatest. Howard asked how he can say that when he didn't win. Howard ended up hanging up on Ralph.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was watching Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune and it's really not as easy as it looks. Howard said he's right. Howard said if he took over one of these game shows he'd be a different Howard. He said he sat and thought it through. He said he'd get in there with a professional look. He said he'd wear a nice outfit and he'd treat the game seriously. He said he can't stand people who make it about themselves. He said he wants to see the game. Howard said games are meant to be taken seriously. He said Pat Sajak understands that even if he's a douche bag. He said he would never kiss a contestant. Howard said he would bring a sense of humor to the show. He said he would shine during his small talk part of the show. Howard said he turned down one shows that really upset him. He said he would have taken those shows so seriously.
Robin read a story about Kim Kardashian talking about swearing off sexy photos of herself. She said she seems to be incapable of doing that. She said she's addicted to that like Sal is with the vape pen. Howard said he saw some pictures of her and she looked so strange in the bikinis you can't swim in. Robin said Kanye said to her that some of these things bother his soul. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Howard said that's an interesting take. He said good luck with that. Kim was there arguing with him about how she's not on the same journey as he is.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Robin if she would turn down Bradley Cooper to sleep with if he asked. Robin said she doesn't know. Howard said she would fuck his brains out. He said he's seen her around him and she was acting strange around him. He said she's into him. Robin said he is her kind of guy if he wanted to know. Howard said she thought she was Lady Gaga sitting there at the movie. Howard said she's very taken with that man. Howard said that was a good question.
Robin read a story about a Panther's linebacker, Luke Kuechly, who is only 28 years old and he issued a statement that he's retiring from the NFL because he can't play as well as he used to. Robin had some audio of the guy talking about why he's out.
Howard said he has some audio of Richard watching the Kansas City game. He said his wife recorded him. Howard played the clip and Richard was going nuts over the game. He was making all kinds of weird laughs and going ''yes!'' Howard said he's Richard the Conqueror. He was clapping and giggling among other odd noises. Fred played some 'Gina Man clips that sounded similar. Howard said Richard has a weird voice in that. He said he sounds like when he was the retarded flu. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Kathy Griffin who showed up on the show ''You'' on Netflix. Robin said it's a really good show. Robin told Howard what the show is about. She said they had a funeral scene and a comedian dies and Kathy Griffin was doing the eulogy. Robin said Kathy told USA Today that she begged for that role. She hasn't had a role in anything since the whole Trump thing went down. Howard said Kathy was on that show with Brooke Shields. He said he thinks it was Suddenly Susan. He said she was quite good in it. He said she's a good comedic actress. Robin said she wasn't able to get a role so she begged for that one. Robin said she says that's the first thing she's landed since the Trump thing.
Robin read a story about Pampers saying you will no longer have to check to see if your child's diaper is dirty. She said they have an app for that. Howard said Wendy's family will be happy about that. Robin read about the sensor that goes on the outside of the diaper to tell the family when it needs changing. Robin said they say it's good for 3 months or 1000 changes. Robin said it's not cheap though because it's $350 per tag. Howard said Richard wants to try it out on the air. Richard said he'll try both if he wants. Howard said he'll shit in his diaper and see if it works. Richard said he'll save his shit for a couple of days so it's a good one. Howard asked if Robin will try it to see if she gets excited. Robin said it doesn't check for that. Howard said someone should come up with that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Iowa caucuses coming up soon. Robin said the democratic nominees are all giving their credentials for running. Robin had some audio of Joe Biden talking about President Trump and the Iran situation. Robin said Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren have gotten into it lately. Robin said Bernie denies that he says a woman couldn't be President like Warren claims he did. Robin had some audio of Bernie and some audio of Elizabeth Warren for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about the President holding a rally in Milwaukee last night. Robin said now he's blaming energy efficient light bulbs for making him look orange. She had some audio of him talking about that.
Robin read a story about McDonalds possibly using MSG in their crispy chicken sandwich. Robin said they're not confirming or denying using it. Robin said that Bloomberg is reporting that they used it in their testing in Tennessee.
Robin read a story about Dave Chappelle giving his endorsement to Andrew Yang for the Democratic nominee. Robin said Ken Jeong and Donald Glover have also given their endorsements to him.
Robin read a story about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's transition. Robin said they're working on details about how they can become more independent. Robin had some audio of an expert on the family talking about how Harry is worth about $39 million. Robin had a couple of clips of people talking about the split from the royal family.
Robin read a story about who will be writing the next James Bond theme. Fred played a few clips of Riley Martin saying Hugh Jassole and names like that. Robin said Billie Eilish is officially writing the new theme song. She said that's for the 25th installment of the James Bond series. Howard said he thought it was going to be Adam Barta. Robin said Billie and her brother Finneas will be working on that. She's the youngest person to write a Bond theme. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Today's show was over around 11:15am.
Today's show was over around 11:20am.