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Howard started the show talking about how he apologizes for the show starting a little slow but he thinks he has to clean his glasses. He said sorry. He said he was with the guys and talking about various things about the show. He said they were talking about Billie Eilish. He said he spent a lot of time listening to her over the weekend. He said he didn't know she wrote songs with her brother. Robin said she's mentioned it a bunch of times. Howard said he's not really listening to her. He said her brother is very talented. He said they'll be there performing. Robin said she said last week and they were the first writing team that was number 1. Howard said it's pretty amazing. He said he knows everything about Billie. He said he immersed himself into her world over the weekend. He said she was on Saturday Night Live but he hasn't seen that yet. Robin said she was great. She said she gave Woody Harrelson a big hug at the end of the show. Howard said he loves seeing that part of Saturday Night Live. He said he wishes they could extend that.
Howard said it breaks all kinds of rules in the music business when you do things the way she did. He said the whole paradigm shifts when you make an album in your house with your brother and you put it out and it becomes huge. He said he'll get into that when they come in. He said the song he really likes is ''Bad Guy.'' He said that's her most popular one. He said she's doing 2 today and he likes those too. Howard played some ''Bad Guy.''
Howard said he's getting the Los Angeles shows together. He said they're going to be interesting. He said they're going to be out there next week. Howard said he has always been able to hear radio shows in his head. He said it sounds like the radio. He said the good thing is that the part he doesn't hear is the stuff with Robin. He said when she's there the shows take a different direction. He said that kind of helps him a lot. He said he has this weird thing where he hears the show in his head. He said he has to turn the radio on to drown that out of his head. He said it's a weird thing in his head. He said he hears full radio shows.
Howard said when this first started happening he was so excited for Monday. He said he would wonder if it was something of his own or something he had heard before. He said he wasn't sure what he was listening to. He said it's the way he likes to hear radio shows. He said they're funny radio shows. He said he's listening to Human Newman in his head right now.
Howard said it's a weird thing and he doesn't talk about it a lot because it's so weird. He said he doesn't even have a metal plate in his head. He said lets not talk about it again because it sounds weird. Robin said it sounds fascinating to her. She said if you see a painting in your head it's not weird. Howard said it is.
Howard said he gets so down on himself when he's painting. He said he wants to be great so badly. He said he's conflicted in his life. He said today he got up and he just wanted to paint. He said his energy is best in the morning. He said he'd be too tired to do it in the afternoon. He said he has to be up at the crack of dawn. He said if he gets up and paints early he's good. He said by the afternoon he's fuzzy. He said he thinks he could be great at painting if he did that instead of the radio show. He said he has a show to do though. He said that's it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't wait to hear Billie on the show today. He said they're amazing. The caller also said he gets to listen to the show live most of the time but why doesn't he include the live commercial reads in the replay? He said sometimes he gets into a tangent. Howard said he didn't know they didn't. He said he thought they included them. He asked Gary if he knows. Gary said he doesn't know but he will find out. He said they do not replay the live commercials. Howard said he doesn't care. Robin said she didn't know that. Howard said his Tommy John reads are a work of art.
Howard said he didn't even know that. He said he thought they just aired the show for 24 hours. He said he didn't know that. He said sometimes he'll listen to the show and he'll go to 101 during the commercial breaks.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's intrigued by his hearing the shows in his head. He asked if he hears Fred in them. Howard said no. He said he drowns him out. He said he can't even explain what it is. He said he just hears these funny little themes and stuff. He said t sounds like a show beaming into your head. He said he doesn't talk about it because he just wants it to keep going on. He said he thinks Charles Manson had the same thing going on.
Robin asked about going to Tennessee. Howard said that's what he did over the weekend. He said he went out with Beth and some friends. He said that's the reason he was freaked out about snakes. He said he had to wear snake proof boots. He said he had these guards around his shins too. He said the snakes can't bite through them. He said it goes up to your knee. He said he looked like Michael Jackson in the Bad video. Robin said he wore something to work the other day that she saw. Howard said he didn't. Robin said they were beige. Howard said there's no way she could have seen them. He said they're black and they have buckles around the. He said she may have been looking at his naked legs. Gary said no one back there knows what she's talking about. Howard said he's not sure what's going on.
Howard said he was in Tennessee and he went up to a guy who was a guide and asked if he was nuts for wearing the snake proof boots. He said the guy told him that he doesn't like to freak people out but he'd wear them every day if he could. He said he was told he was smart for wearing them. Robin said he gets paid to make people feel good. She said he didn't tell anyone else to do that. Howard said no he didn't.
Howard said Tennessee is beautiful. He said there's so much to see in this country. He said he doesn't need to leave this country. He said the plane flight there from New York was an hour and a half. He said he doesn't know the map but it sounded like it was going to be at least 3 hours away. He said it's a beautiful part of the country. He said he enjoyed it very much. He did some hiking, biking and a spin class. He said it was just him and a doctor from Tennessee. He said he listens to Sirius but he listens to the Christian music. He said he realized who he was and they hit it off.
Howard took a call from a guy who was in Tennessee and asked about before hooking up with Robin and Fred what did he see his career being. Howard said he didn't think it through that much. He said he just wanted to be on the radio from the age of 5. He said it was a stupid statement to make because he didn't do anything in his teens. He said he thought he'd have a group of characters on the show. He said he sort of envisioned the show they have today. He said his earliest vision of that was when he watched Soupy Sales. He said he got to listen to more and more radio and he thought about having a dialog with the audience. He said it was kind of like what they're doing now. He said if you heard the King Schmaltz Radio Hour it was kind of like this show. He said it was him and one other guy with two other guys who came in. Howard said he was awful on the show and this guy Bob was great. He said he was very good. He said he ran into Bob years ago and he's doing some news service and selling it to TV stations. He said he was doing that. He said he doesn't know what happened to him.
Howard said he had a guy who did voices on the show. He said he did a million impressions. He said everyone wanted him and he went and became a lawyer. He said he didn't want to do radio. Howard said the guy was just having fun doing that stuff. He said the guy was very funny and he went to law school. He said he could have been a stand up or been on Saturday Night Live. He said his name was Bruce something. He said he can't remember. He said he was phenomenal. He said his name was Bruce Katz. He said he was the real talent. He said all of the other guys were the talent. He said he was just working the board. He said Bob asked him to do the show with him. He said it sounded a lot like what they're doing now. He said it wasn't as smooth or funny but it was this kind of thing.
Howard said they got fired on the air. He asked who gets fired on the air on college radio. He said the guy said he was kidding but they were shitting their pants. Fred had the clip where Howard got fired for the first time.
Howard said he was shitting his pants during that clip. He said he's not sure where they got that tape. He said it had so much static in it. He said he doesn't remember it being that bad. He said he figured it out halfway through the call and he ran out of the studio after putting on a record. He said he was shaking so bad that he didn't know what the fuck he was going to do. He said he was freaking out and a nervous wreck. He said they were barely able to get through the rest of the show. He said they went back and did the rest of the show. He said they got through it and dealt with it later. He said he was like 18 years old and didn't know what was going on. Robin asked if that show ever went on again. Howard said it did. He said Bruce said he was kidding. He said all of that noise was them bringing Frankenstein back to life.
Howard said that show went on for way too long and they got very experimental with it. He said they got very full of each other. Howard got a note saying there were 9 episodes of the King Schmaltz Bagel Hour. He said he's not sure why they're talking about it with so many other things to talk about.
Howard said Ronnie isn't driving in L.A. He said he's like the president out there. He said he has a real detail out there.
The caller asked if when he retires and someone writes a book and is vindictive, who would it be. Howard said he's already had some of those. He said it's hard to write a book about him because he doesn't have scandal. He asked what you can write about him other than him being a dick. He said if you write something negative you say he was distant and didn't party with people. He said he thinks it would be a boring book. He said maybe he was a scum bag and there is something there.
The caller asked about what goes on behind the scenes. Howard said the meetings they have are business and the other guys give what they wanted to have on the show. He said if he's comfortable with it then they do it. He said he's not fucking people who work there or anything. He said enough has been tried. He said you can find some people who have written books about him. He said a guy who worked for Newsday wrote one about him and it wasn't complimentary.
Gary said Benjy said the worst thing he ever saw Howard do was throw a copy book at the wall. Howard said that's right. He said he just wants the show to be perfect and that means he wanted it to be funny. He said he had to read a commercial once and it was probably written wrong and he thought it was convoluted and boring so he threw it across the room. He said that was it. He said there's your tell all.
Howard asked Gary if he has anything else back there. He said he should pay someone to write a behind the scenes book. He said he doesn't think he's that big of a scum bag. He said he doesn't joke around. He said he's all business. He said that's the worst thing you can write about him.
Howard said Gary could write something about him because he yells at him a lot. He said that was all on the air. Gary said he's yelled off the air like twice. Howard asked what it was about. Gary said there was something in a meeting. He said he can't remember what it was. He said he just remembers he got mad. He said that will never happen again.
Howard said most of the behind the scenes books are written by people who way over estimated their work on the show. He said everyone likes to take credit for the show. He said he thinks it's healthy to have negative things written about you. He said read it all. He said everyone should read it. He said create a fantasy world. He said he wishes he was half as interesting as that.
Jason said he heard Howard yell at Tom Chiusano about something off the air once. Howard asked what that was about. Jason said he's not sure abut it was some decision Howard wasn't happy with. Howard said he and Tom were in a weird position. He said it's great that they're on satellite now. He said they couldn't do the show anymore on terrestrial radio. He said he likes Tom and he still talks to him to this day. He said he and Tom did have a lot of fights but they were both in a weird position. He said the whole thing was fucked up. He said it's too bad they didn't get on satellite earlier.
Robin said she remembers Howard farting in someone's face and that pissed her off. She said it was a guy who sat outside the studio at WNBC. Robin said she's not sure what he did but Howard came in one day and lifted his leg on the guy. Howard said that was for comedy. Robin said he never should have done that.
Howard asked the guys if they can explain better. JD told Howard that he didn't show up for the fight and Damon seemed kind of calm on the show but he wasn't freaking out. He said they had Dustin Diamond fight someone else and he knocked the guy right out. JD said they did get Dwight Gooden to show up as the ref. Howard said he must have been freaking out. JD said they had a 2 and a half hour event. He said there were 10 matches. He said Screech was the only celebrity.
Howard said it's so weird. He said he was thinking about the guy working in the business but they're not sure what business he's in. He said he would imagine that Damon is threatening legal trouble against the Bagel guy. He said that guy has no money though. Robin said she's not sure how you untangle that mess.
Howard said what a nightmare that is. He said the guy who got shoved in a bagel shop didn't show up. Robin said the first problem is that you're building the show around that guy. Howard said then they got Lenny Dykstra and he flaked out on him. Robin said Lenny must have smelled a rat. Howard said what a business.
Howard said Damon Feldman sounds depressed as it is. He went into his impression of Damon and had him asking the show for help with the fight and talking about the movie they're making about his life. Howard had Damon talking about being undefeated in his boxing career. He had Damon asking if his mail man would fight the bagel boss guy. Howard said no one wanted to fight. He said Shuli wanted like $50,000 to fight. He said they're not making that kind of money the whole night. Howard said he told him he didn't want to be involved. He said Damon thinks he's his friend. He had him asking the guys if they have chairs they can bring. Howard had him offering him Starbucks coupons to fight.
Howard said it's a nightmare business. He kept going with the impression of Damon asking the guys from the show to do the fight. He had Damon asking for the ice machine up there just in case someone gets a black eye.
Howard said that's the delightful world of celebrity boxing. Robin asked if Damon is okay. Howard had Damon talking about how he's going to a kid's day where he'll be talking about his job as a celebrity boxing expert. Howard said that sounds like a fun day. Then he had Damon asking him if his wife has ever boxed. Then he was asking if his cat would fight a dog. Howard had him sounding all depressed in his monotone speaking voice.
Howard had Damon asking Robin if she has a shamen who would fight. Robin said not that guy. Fake Damon asked if he could have Screech fight Mary Dell'Abate. Damon asked if they can get Wendy the Snapple Lady to fight. He was asking if they can get Will's daughter who fell out the window to fight. He said just has to keep putting out feelers. Robin said he hasn't made any money. Fake Damon said they will eventually once the movie comes out. He asked if Robin speaks to Dr. Roni and if she'd fight Screech. Robins said she doesn't work with her. Howard had Damon asking Robin about Simone Dinnerstein and Bracco the Gazer and if they'd box. He asked Robin about Captain Dennis. Robin said he would kill Screech. Robin said he wouldn't fight him because it would be like a murder.
Fake Damon asked Robin about Eli the engineer from K-Rock. He said maybe Dan the Song Parody Man. Robin said maybe Dan would do it. Damon asked Robin if she can contact some other people for him. Robin said she's still wondering how he got Dwight Gooden there.
Fake Damon asked if she has Al Rosenberg's contact information. He said he'd like to get that fight going. Robin said she can't imagine how hard he has to work to get all of these things. Fake Damon said that Imus got into trouble for making racist remarks. He asked if they remember the black woman who worked on his show for like 5 minutes. He said he'd like her contact information. Robin said she doesn't know her contact information. Fake Damon wanted to put her up against the My Pillow guy. Fake Damon came up with a few other crazy names to put up against each other. He wanted to have Octomom's kids box an Amish family. He said maybe they can get the Where's the Beef lady's grandson to box Dave Lampert the Sybian guy. Robin said she thinks he's dead too.
Fake Damon said maybe he can get the bear from The Revenant to fight Spuds Mackenzie. Howard said what a miserable life. He said he's thinking of going into celebrity boxing as a career. He went back into the Damon voice and had him coming up with more.
Howard said it ended up that Bagel Boss guy didn't show up. He took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she paid $19.99 for that fight. She said Howard has the greatest show on the planet. She went off starting to yell and Howard hung up on her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't wait for the L.A. shows. He said it's going to be big in the news. Howard said they're going to have a bunch of celebrities stopping by to say hi. He said it's going to be very Hollywood. He said they have three interesting shows to do out there. He said then he's going to do book promotion. He said the book is an excellent Christmas present.
Howard said he's doing Bill Maher, Jimmy Kimmel and Ellen's show. He said he thinks he's doing pre-interviews this week on Thursday. The caller asked if Jimmy is going to make him do that. Howard said they're all saying that he doesn't have to do them. He said he wants to though. He said he doesn't want to say the same shit on all three shows. He said he won't do a pre-interview with Jimmy's people but he'll do the other two. He said he heard from some of their friends out there who want to have him on but he's not sure if he has time to do them.
The caller asked if Melrose Larry Green shows up will he have him in. Howard said of course he would. The caller said Larry doesn't think he would because he's a Trump supporter. Howard said he'd have him on. Howard said he's pretty sure he's the only one who has had him on the radio. Howard said he's a guy who stands in the street yelling at people. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard said he just read that Rod Stewart had some illness. Robin said it was prostate cancer. Howard said everyone is old as fuck. He said everyone is old except for Billie Eilish.
Howard said it's good that Rod beat prostate cancer. Robin said he encourages men to get the finger up their bum. Howard said he had to make a call to get that done. He said this new doctor didn't want to do that to him so he didn't do it. He said the doctor must have been disgusted by him. He said he got another doctor who is willing to stick his finger up there. He said he's not sure how women take it anally. Robin said she begs to differ because he can accept water up there. Howard said that's nothing. Robin said it accumulates in there. Howard said that's enjoyable.
Howard said women deserve a purple heart for taking that. He said that or the guys who take a fist up their ass.
Howard said he has a new phony phone call to play. He played the clip where the guys had fake Donald Trump and Bill Clinton calling a psychic to contact Jeff Epstein. They asked him to let them know what Jeff had to say to them. The psychic went along with it and gave them some of Jeff's comments about the things they were asking about. The psychic told them about Jeff talking about Donald pissing on women and things like that.
Howard said Nancy Pelosi needs to hear that call. He took a call from caller Pocket who said that was funny. He said that he'd like to hear more of Billie's songs. He said she's really down beat and he gets why Howard likes it. Howard said she just got there so he'll get into that soon. He said her music makes him sad and he likes that. He said he doesn't like a lot of new music these days. He said Robin knows what he likes. Robin said right. Fred played Robin's news music. Howard said he might go into the studio with Billie and her brother to produce some new songs. Howard said he's going to take another break and get Billie in there. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he has Billie Eilish in the studio. He said this is exciting. He said he's got Billie and her brother Finneas in there. Howard asked what name he goes by. Billie said their last name is O'Connell. Howard said her name sounds cool. She didn't like that O'Connell though. Billie said she didn't. She said that's her dad's last name. She said she doesn't like either of them. She said she loves her parents but their names didn't fit her.
Howard said he was thinking about these two who just did Saturday Night Live. He asked if they enjoyed that. Billie said it was so fun. Howard asked if it was the show or the week leading up to it. Billie said she felt it was all of it. She said it was kind of new because they were so cool to them and they gave them so much time. She said they don't give a lot of time on TV so it was pretty refreshing and new. She said they didn't have to be that nice to her but it was great.
Howard said they say that you have to do 10,000 hours to get great at something but they wrote this song at the age of 13 and it became big. He said they didn't spend 10,000 hours on the road. He said it's a pretty amazing accomplishment. He said they put it out on social media and it's huge and it's kind of magical. Howard asked if she thinks it came to her too fast. Billie said she did for a second. She said she felt like she missed being a teenager. She said then she thinks about how grateful she is that she had it that young. She said if it had happened later they'd be able to dig up dirt on her. She said she would have been doing some reckless shit if she wasn't doing this. She said she can't think of any artist who hasn't had some dirt on them.
Howard asked if she worries now about dating and not being able to go out and experiment and find yourself. Billie said that's a big part. Howard asked if they have handlers and stuff. Robin asked where their parents are. Billie said they're in the other room.
Howard said he interviews bands that can't get along after a while. He said that he wants to shake them and tell them they make beautiful music together. He asked if they can imagine resentment between them and not talking. Billie said fully, no. She said she loves her brother so much. She said he is her brother but they're great friends too. She said they get along better than anyone she knows.
Howard asked Finneas if he's jealous that she's the front person. He said Finneas writes the songs. Finneas said that she so deserves it. He said he plays on stage and he just watches her kill it every night and it's great.
Billie said that he looks buff today. Howard asked if he works out. Finneas said he does a lot of push ups. Howard asked if he thinks about saving the songs for himself. Finneas said he thinks about how big the songs could be if he gave them to her. He said he puts out some on his own though.
Howard asked where they grew up. Billie said they grew up in L.A. Howard said they were home schooled and he thinks that's kind of strange. He asked how they feel about that home schooling thing. Billie said it's not a mistake for her. She said he doesn't think she could home school her kids. Howard said you have to be a narcissist to do that. Billie said their parents are so smart that they were able to answer anything with the right answer. She said they realized they were super smart. Howard asked if she would cry about being with other kids. Billie said she had a ton of friends. She said she danced and did gymnastics and stuff so she met a lot of kids.
Howard said they had a home school talent show. Billie said they had a couple. Howard said he'd imagine it was just the two of them. Billie said she wishes. She said they were in this home school cult called Home Face L.A. She said she doesn't remember a lot about it but they had a park day and they'd all go to the park together. She said that they would do the talent show then. She said there were no winners though.
Howard asked Billie when she started writing. Billie said she had to be like 6. Howard said both of them were getting into playing. He asked when Finneas started. Finneas said he started around 11 on piano. Howard asked what Billie plays. She said she plays ukulele and piano. Howard asked how they learned. Finneas said he asked his dad how to play a pop song he heard and he taught him on piano. He said if you learn one then you can play thousands because they have the same chords.
Howard said they were pretty poor growing up. He asked if their parents wanted to be in show business and it just didn't happen for them. Billie said a little bit. Howard asked if that's where her sadness comes from. Billie said not at all. She said their parents didn't make them feel poor. Finneas said being poor made them feel poor. Billie said they had the best friends out there. She said they didn't live on the streets. Finneas said they always had dinner. Billie said they weren't homeless.
Howard said they were very poor and they saw show business as a positive thing. He said they could have had the opposite feeling. Billie said they could have. She said she always thought of acting a this unfair thing. She said she thought her parents were very good actors and they didn't get anyone begging for them. Billie said the older she got the more she realized how under appreciated they were.
Howard said these two are really exploding. He said their music has blown up. He said he doesn't hear anyone saying anything negative about their music. He said it's really mature and sophisticated stuff. He said that the Beatles were writing really simplistic stuff. He said it's like Billie is wiser than her years. He said their parents must think it's difficult to see her success. Billie said they're very good at supporting them. She said they haven't expressed an emotion of jealousy. She said they're good parents. She said they're really good at hiding it if they are.
Howard said this is their first song that she put out. He said it's called ''Ocean Eyes.'' Billie said she was doing dance and she liked to do tap because of the sound it made. Howard asked if she had an injury. Billie said she had a couple. She said it started small and then a big thing happened. She said she strained her groin on the left side and that was in October of 2015. Howard asked if that's the most painful thing ever. Billie said she was still dancing but it was hard. She said she was compensating on her right side. She said she was still working on it and was going to do a competition. Billie said she was doing classes and they were done with the class and the owner came in and said she wanted to film it one more time. She said she did this move and this hip did something that felt like sleep paralysis. She said that she suffers from that too. Howard said that's such a strange phenomenon. Howard said this is where you're sleeping and you wake up but your body can't move. He said it's frightening. Billie said that she had times where she was afraid to go to sleep. She said she had this recurring nightmare that would go on every night and she was always sweating when she did wake up. She said the dream would get to her every day. Finneas said there was a song where this guy sings about dreaming of kissing her brother in the yard. Billie said that's not it but there are dreams that can mess you up.
Howard asked if she goes to a therapist. Billie said she has a couple of times. Howard said you'd think she'd want to figure that one out. Billie said that dream went away. She said the sleep paralysis is still with her. She said it's only like 2 seconds but it feels like an eternity. She said she knows what causes her's. She said it's a lack of sleep and then if you fall asleep sitting up it's over. She said it's almost the same triggers as Tourette's. Howard said she has that too. Billie said she's having the ticks now. Howard wasn't noticing it. Billie said she has a sound she makes too. She said she is pretty self conscious about that. She said she was teased as a kid but she didn't know it was Tourette's. Billie said no one really teased her too much because she was always the alpha.
Howard said he heard they don't get much sleep. Billie said this isn't helping because they had to get up at 6:30 this morning.
Howard asked how she liked doing Saturday Night Live with Woody Harrelson. Billie said he was so friendly and so cool. She said that they had a great time on the show. Howard asked if they hung out with Woody much. Billie said that he'd stop by and come talk to them. She said he came to dinner with them last night. Howard said they went to the after party too. He asked how late they were out. Billie said it was until like 5. She said it felt like a dinner at a restaurant that was too loud. She said then it was like 5 in the morning and she was like ''what?''
Howard asked where they call home. Billie said it's where they grew up. Howard asked if they want to have a house of their own. Finneas said he has one. He said they still hang out at their parent's house though. Howard said he had to get away from his parents as fast as possible.
Howard said even though they were poor they had 3 pianos in their house. Billie said they got one for free.
Howard said Billie wrote this song Ocean Eyes. Billie said Finneas actually wrote it. Finneas said he knew she'd make this one sound like butter. Billie asked if Howard remembers Vine. Howard said no. Billie said Vine was this thing. Howard said he knows what she's talking about, the social media thing. He said he thought she was talking about a song. Billie said when Finneas wrote Ocean Eyes she thinks he's so much better at writing songs. Finneas disagreed. Billie said she thinks she's better with fame than he is. She said Finneas would hate being her. Howard asked what she's better at. Billie said she likes it and he would not. Howard said fame is a wonderful thing. Billie said it really is. She said there are some terrible parts but it's wonderful.
Howard said he's able to be a different guy. He said he became less awkward. He said you could argue that Finneas has the best life. He said he can still go out. Howard asked if Billie is right. Finneas said time will tell. He said she seems to navigate it very well. He said that she can deal with people coming up to her car window. Howard asked if Finneas feels he can't deal with that. Finneas said people make him take their picture together. Billie said it makes her feel so bad. Howard said he gets that. Finneas said he feels protective of her since she's a sister. He said he was on a plane with her and she was watching something and these kids came up to her and tapped her to wake her up. He said you don't do that to a friend. Howard said it's so hard to fall asleep on a plane and then they wake you up.
Howard asked if they're at the point they can fly privately. Billie said almost but the problem is that airplanes are so wasteful as a whole. She said they're affecting the world in a bad way and she has no choice but to fly. She said she would rather travel in a more green way but she can't. She said they are looking into other ways of getting around. She said there are ways to make it more eco-friendly to fly. She said they're working on it. Billie said she does other things to try to make up for it. She said she wants to fly private and she will but by the time she does she hopes there's a more green way to do it.
Howard said we are pissing on the planet and they're way behind in making it better. He said that he and his wife saved a bird recently and they found out that it was affected by the dirty water in the ocean.
Billie said she brought up Vine because Finneas had written a song and she didn't know what it was called. She said that she could hear him writing a song in his room. She said she did it in a loop on Vine and it was different lyrics. She said he sang it in this way that repeated. She said that she remembers seeing it on Vine and he wanted her to sing it. She said then she sang it and they put it out and it changed their lives.
Howard said this is what they posted. He played the song and the record company heard it and signed them. Howard said she put out her first album and it became huge. Howard said the thing he finds amazing is that they wanted to have them work with a big time producer and they said to hell with that. They wanted to do it on their own. He said that took a lot of balls. He said that could have ruined their music. Finneas said they did try big time producers.
Billie said they wanted them to work with writers and producers. Finneas said they tell you what they wrote and they're the songs you grew up loving. Howard said you think you can do it on your own but it's seductive when they want you to do it with other people. He said it has to be huge to say do it ourselves. Billie said they knew better. She said they gave the other writers and producers the chance but they figured they should do it on their own. Howard said they start sounding like everyone else. Billie said when they write they don't record it right away. She said they finish it first. She said then they record it. Billie said they have a lot of awful, unreleased songs. She said they made this one song a couple of years ago and she was barely anything. She said the fans were there but it was tiny. She said she was so excited that she'd post a video right away. She said now to this day there are people telling her to release these horrible songs.
Howard said Prince was a genius and he didn't have a will. He said now they're releasing everything. He said it's like putting out all of your shitty paintings if you were a painter. He said you don't want to destroy these songs. Howard told Billie to make a will now and tell them not to put these songs out. Billie said that's a good idea. Finneas agreed.
Howard said they go out and they want to produce their songs on their own. He asked if the record company was for it. Billie said they didn't have much of a choice. She said after Ocean Eyes it was like a year before they signed. She said they were hearing about how lives were ruined when people would sign. She said they went to a million meetings and she was only 14 years old. Howard said they're probably looking at her like why are we negotiating with a 14 year old. Billie said that was like every day for a while. Finneas said he remembers that.
Billie said they had a meeting at Interscope and it was just another meeting but there were people there who signed her and this guy Justin was there. She said there was something about him that she had a feeling that he believed she could do things. She said they were treating her like she was a genius. Howard said you need that. Howard said so many people get record deals and you never hear from them again.
Finneas said they have had 2 managers and they were very good at letting them do things their way. He said they have advocated for letting them do things their way. Howard said that someone said Billie Eilish said she's the only one doing things differently these days. Billie said it was Thom York who said that he didn't exactly say that. Gary said Dave Grohl said it.
Howard said they should do one of their songs now. Howard asked if they have ever performed this early before. Billie said no. She said she did when she was in choir. Howard said this song is called ''All Good Girls Go to Hell.'' Howard asked how long it took to write it and they said they wrote the hook in 2016 and the wrote the rest last year. Howard had them do their song.
After the song Howard said he really likes they way they did that. Billie said thank you. She said they just figured it out last week. Howard said it's really impressive to see someone who is so good at something. He asked if they do a whole band thing when they're performing. Billie said they have a drummer. Finneas said that the drummer fucks up less than he does. He said that he does mess things up. Howard asked if he just keeps going. Billie said they never start again. She said they just do it. She said they talked about something about Andrew being the only one who knows what he's doing. She said they know what they're doing but he's professionally trained. Finneas said that they're in karate class and he's the Sensei. Howard said that they will be trained professionals by the time they're in their 20s.
Howard asked if they are nervous wrecks about things. Billie said that she thought that they would hate ''Bad Guy'' but they loved it. Howard said he likes that song the best. He said that she wrote it and didn't think people would like it. Finneas said they liked it. Howard asked how you know what the public wants. Billie said that Jimmy Fallon said to her that he heard Bad Guy and he said it was like the best thing he had ever heard and no one would be cool enough to like it. She said her mom was the most supportive person and she didn't like one of their songs. She said it became a hit.
Howard said that he wrote down that the videos are way darker than the music. He said he senses some kind of sadness there. He asked if it's about the dancing and that she can't be a dancer. Billie said there was some for a while. She said the first 2 years of the fame she hated it. She said she hated everything about it. Howard asked what it was that she hated. Billie said she had all of the bad parts and not the good parts yet. She said she had not being able to go anywhere and people being awful and rude but still not being known. She said she didn't have the big success. She said it's a lot for a 15-16 year old.
Howard asked Billie about the clothes she wears because she says she's not ready to have people look her body over. Howard said she's 17 and doesn't want to be evaluated. He said he thinks that's a wise decision. He said he sees so many young performers wearing striper outfits. He asked if she will be more comfortable with people seeing her body at some point. Billie said she is so not down to be not open to change. She said it bugs her when people are stuck on one thing and can't change it. She said she wants to be open to doing other things. She said it's funny because people had this awakening thing when she said she wears what she wears. She said she had a good answer for it. She said people were mind blown. She said she thought it was clear why she dressed that way. Billie said she never tried to wear anything to sexualize herself. She said she's always been a sex animal though. She said she looks good in this stuff. She said there is so many fucked up things in the world. She said there's so much sexism and body shaming. Howard said if she does wear something sexy people will give her a hard time about that too.
Billie said that there was a point when she didn't want to do this anymore. She said that she had so much going on in her life and it was too much. She said it was just January of this year. Howard said there's a lot going on when you have a career like this. He said they were making music in a hotel room. He said it's a lot of work. Billie said it was the same crazy fans who would wait outside her hotel. She said that she appreciates the fans but it was the same level of intensity but not with the same treatment. Howard said he can imagine that. Billie said she was also overworked. Howard said they had to get out there and make some dough. Billie said it was all beneficial.
Howard said Finneas has a girlfriend now so will that interfere. Finneas said Yoko. Howard asked if she could be Yoko. Finneas said that he was in a relationship the entire time they were making this album. He said it worked out. He said the girlfriend loves their music. He said she'll pull up and she'll be listening to their album. Howard asked if Billie would tell him if she didn't like her. Billie said she would and she has. Billie said it's the other way around too. She said that Finneas will tell her the same thing.
Howard asked if she has time to date. Billie said she has had her eyes on guys her whole life until now. She said she's always been boy crazy. Finneas said that he looks at her life and you think about the person and how they treat the person you love. Howard asked if Finneas has said things to her about the guys she's with. Billie said he has and you can't change things. She said she's so strong willed and she will do something if she wants to. Howard said her brother could ruin things for her. Billie said he could if he said something about the guy. Howard said Finneas has her back. Finneas said he loves people who treat her very well. He said he feels some obligation with his opinion with her. He said he appreciates it when it comes from her too. Billie said he's very protective and he's always been a person who is attracted to well kept people and she's not. She said that Finneas likes people who know what they want in life and are nice and follow the rules. Billie said she isn't into that. She said she sees damage and she goes right to it.
Howard said he was always attracted to damaged women. He said he had a mother who didn't have a mother and he felt like he had to take care of her.
Howard asked if they want people who are in the music business. Finneas said no. Billie said she is very physical with people and they take it the wrong way sometimes. She said she's flirty when she's not really trying to be. She just likes to talk to people. Howard asked if she's talking to other guys if they're older. Billie said she's been in this world since she was 13 and she can't talk to guys who are in high school. She said she has only dated one person ever. She said that she can't do that. She said she has never actually gone on a date. Billie said she kind of rushes things. Howard said that's not romantic. Billie said she went on a date at 13 and it was at the movies. Howard asked what movie. She had no idea. Billie said the guy kissed her and said it wasn't as magical as he thought it would be. She said his butler was there the entire time and she got stuck there at the theater. She said a baby came up to her at the theater and she looked at it smiling and it started screaming and crying and ran off. She said this was the day before Valentine's day.
Howard said with a young girl if someone gets romantically involved with you then you have to worry about them going to the press. Billie said it's a thing that she's never thought about. She said she's at this point where there's a branding issue. She said it can't just be anyone. She said that's kind of how it works. She said people she flirted with once are now claiming that she did stuff with them. She said that she talked to this one guy one time and he's claiming she had sex with him. She said she can't even talk to people. She said that she hasn't felt the need lately so maybe that's good. Howard said he wonders what her romantic story will be. He said he thinks about his daughters and what they might go through. He said it's scary for a young girl.
Billie asked what he did to raise his daughters. Howard said he didn't think things through. He said he really knew nothing. He said he was stupid and not thinking about what their lives would be like. He said he went into therapy and he thinks that's the best thing. He said that's why he thinks Billie might want to think about it. He said they're just kids dealing with a lot. Billie said it concerns her. She said she's not sure where she's going to be when she wants to have kids. Howard asked if she could go to someone in the business and talk to them. Billie said that Stella McCartney was talking about her dad and how you just live in a small house and be near them. She said that Heidi Klum doesn't post pictures of her kids.
Howard asked if she got off of Twitter. Billie said she did. She said it almost destroyed her. She said it's only comments. Howard said you can spot and not read. Billie said even if you do that there is already something there. Howard said it affects you. He said they're new to this and they don't have the thickets skin. Billie said she was 15 years old and getting dragged for saying something. She said she will say what she said. She said it was a joke between her and a friend. She said it was something about going back into this kid's life that she had broken up with and fuck up his life all over again. She said she was 15 and she was friends with this guy and people thought she was being toxic.
Howard said there are kids out there who are trashing other kids. Finneas said that they're doing that with Greta Thunberg. Howard said he sees that kid and thinks there's hope in this world. He said then you get people on the internet who trash this kid and she's going to need therapy for years. He said even Trump trolled her. Finneas said it's so childish. Billie said it's weird when adults are childish. Robin said it's not funny because they're the ones in control.
Howard said they should do another song. He said they're going to do ''When the Party's Over.'' Howard asked what party this is. Billie said she'd rather let people decide what it's about. Howard said this is the video where she cries black tears. Billie that was tough to do. She said it was black eye blood. He said it still stung to have it in there. She said the video was one take and they shot it like a year ago. She said they had these little tubes they had on her eyes and they eventually got them right into her eye. She said they unglued them and put them back into her eye literally. Finneas said he can't watch that video without crying. Howard asked if they like making the videos. Billie said she loves it. She said it's her favorite part. She said they have nothing to do with the songs. She said they do have something to do with them but not really about the lyrics.
Billie showed Howard the tube in her eye. Howard said that's pretty cool. Howard asked who puts up the money for the videos. Billie said it's her and the company. She said she's paying for everything most of the time except for that.
Howard said they're going to do the song now. He said it's called ''When the Party's Over.'' Billie said this is going to be tough to do at this time of the day. She said it's two octaves. They went into the song after that.
After the song Howard said that's a beautiful song. He said well done. He said he knew she could do the two octave thing. Howard said there's something beautiful about watching a brother and sister do that. He said it's so fortunate they can both sing and play instruments. He said it's a one in a million thing. Howard said it's great that they got to grow up in that house and they can make this magic. He said it makes him wonder what will happen when they go their separate ways.
Finneas said that Billie has the amazing way of figuring out a harmony. Billie said she's done that since she was a child. She said that she's not sure how she figured it out. She said Finneas was always very complimentary about that. She said she didn't know how hard it was until he pointed it out. Howard said you don't even know it's that hard to do. Billie said she doesn't even realize they're doing the harmonies until Howard points it out to her.
Howard said he was thinking about Billie forgetting the lyrics at Coachella. He asked what you do. Billie said it was her first time doing the songs there. She said you're so embarrassed when you do that. She said she knows the rhythm so she just went ''fuck a du'' over and over. She said she said she forgot the words and she tries not to sing that. She said she just says she forgot the words. Howard asked if it's lame to have a teleprompter. Billie said she knows the words but once in a while you just forget. She said she came up with some adlibs in one show and she forgot the words immediately.
Howard asked if they have one song they cover or is it original all the time. Billie said they like this song ''The Killing Type'' that Finneas sings. Finneas said it's by Amanda Palmer. Howard asked if they would perform it on stage. Billie said maybe. She said they did ''Hotline Bling'' for the first 3 tours. She said then she got the nails and she wasn't able to play ukulele.
Howard asked if they can play a song off the cuff. He asked what song it would be. Finneas said whatever she wants. Billie said maybe get the guitar and play something. Howard said he loves this. Billie said this is something she didn't know was a thing where media outlets ask you to do covers. She said they're very specific. Howard said he's just curious about how they communicate. Billie said they've been made to do covers so that's why she brought that up. She said they used to do this song ''You don't get me high anymore.'' Howard asked to hear a few bars of something they both like. Billie said how about that Neighborhood son they play. Finneas played guitar and Billie started singing the song ''Prey.'' Billie said that's all they do. They performed a little bit of the song.
Billie said she does a song by Michael Lighthouse. Howard said he took piano lessons and he had to keep his fingers rounded. He said Billie can't do that with her nails. Billie said she just learned to play with those nails. She said she plays this song called Lighthouse. She said she plays a song called The Hill too. She said she loves piano so she'll sit down and play. She played something for Howard. Her nails were clicking on the keys of the piano. Billie played for a short time and said the first time she played with the nails was in a hotel in Portland. She said she never did anything with her nails until the end of May. She said she never even painted them. She said she used to wear a huge ring on every finger. She said she always hated her fingers and hands. Billie said she was getting rashes on her fingers. She said she had to stop wearing them. She said it wasn't worth it. She said she hated her hands so much she wasn't able to have the rings so she got nails instead. She said her fingers are short and stubby and her nails make her feel better about herself. Howard asked if it's more feminine. She said it makes her feel better about her hands.
Howard asked if Billie can pick her nose with them. She said she can but you can't feel it so it's not satisfying. She said she can go in there pretty far. She demonstrated for Howard. Howard said he can get his whole thumb up his huge nostrils.
Billie played more piano and said it's a Lana Del Ray song. Howard asked if he likes her. Billie said she loves her. She said she's met her. Howard asked how she reacts around her. Billie said she turns into a floppy baby child. She said Lana sees her and says she's so cute. She said she was the only person who has patted her on the head the first time she met her. She said she's usually the alpha so that isn't something just anyone can do.
Howard asked who she's met that was the most exciting to meet. Billie said Billie Joe Armstrong. She said he's something. Howard asked what she said to him. Howard said he thinks he's amazing. Billie said they did something together that will be coming out soon hopefully. She said they did this interview and they kept asking her questions and she wanted to hear Billie Joe talking. She said then he'd ask her something and she didn't want to talk. She said that she felt he should be talking instead of her.
Howard said they're playing Madison Square Garden soon in March. He said that must be sold out. Billie said it will be sold out when it goes on sale next week. Howard asked if she's one of those people who hears songs in their head constantly. Billie said she's hearing a song that she's been singing. She said it's a version of an Elliot Smith song. She said Willow Smith did a cover of it and she's hearing that. She sang some of that and played piano.
Howard asked if she plays piano every day. Billie said she does. She said she would like to have one with her all the time. Billie played herself singing the Willow Smith cover on her phone. Howard said he hears the nails on the piano. Billie said this is what she played for the first time with her nails.
Howard said her sound is so good on the phone. He said his doesn't sound that good. Howard sang the name game with both Billie and Finneas. Finneas said that's going to be his ring tone from now on.
Howard asked them to make up a song right now. Billie said they can do that. Howard said it would be weird if it was about him. He said how about a song about Avril Lavigne and what that was like. Billie said Avril invited her to a rehearsal and she's so good. She said she was wearing these cool pants and now she's wearing some like those. She said she hated to copy her but this shit is hard.
Howard asked them to make something up. Billie played piano and made up some lyrics. She was humming some parts of the song when she didn't have lyrics to go in that spot. Finneas said you record that on your phone and then take it from there. Howard said he's been doing it all wrong. Billie said there is no wrong way. Howard said she should write a song about picking her nose with those nails. Billie said they should. She said her first song she wrote was about The Walking Dead. Howard asked if the show is still good. Billie said the first couple of seasons were so good. Howard asked if she still watches. Billie said no. She said she gave up on it when they made the wait for the new season. She said that she has titles of the episodes in the song she wrote about the show. Howard said that's so great.
Howard asked why she didn't go up and sing with Avril. Billie said she wants to hear Avril singing her own songs. He said she wouldn't do a song with her. Billie said she only wants to hear her sing her own songs.
Howard said this has been very exciting. He said that they learned a lot today. He asked what they learned. Robin said you can't pick your nose with long nails. Billie said she played guitar with them the other day. Billie got the guitar and tried playing. Howard asked why she would handicap herself like that. Billie asked Trevor to plug in her guitar. Howard said he'd never handicap himself with nails like that.
Howard asked her to play guitar with those nails. Billie did that and struggled with it. Finneas said this is incredible radio. Howard said she plays almost as good as he does now. He asked what she's doing to herself. He said get those nails off today and get down to business. Billie said it makes her feel pretty and she only has to do this sometimes.
Howard gave Billie some plugs for her tour which goes on sale next week. Finneas said they have 17 billion views with everything combined so far. Howard said he's a big fan. He said he thinks it's very original. He said that he's an old guy and this is very exciting to him.
Howard said Billie and Finneas are great. He said you can find out more about the tour at BillieEilish.com/tour
Howard asked where they're going after this. Billie said they're flying home. Howard said he's going to be out in L.A. next week and he'll be very busy out there. Howard said Billie asks people not to use plastic. He said he's stopping using his plastic toothpicks. Billie asked why he doesn't use regular ones. Howard said it doesn't get the job done.
Billie said she had a fun time there. She said this interview was great. Finneas said that they grew up listening to the show all the time. He said their parents always listened to the show and they would turn it off when they came into the room. Billie said her dad has been telling her what will happen in there. She said he knows everyone on the show and where they'll perform. Howard asked what his name is. Billie said it's Patrick and started singing the Name Game for him. Howard did more of the name game and thanked them for coming in. Howard thanked them for doing what they did today.
Howard asked the guys to bring in their dad. Patrick and their mom, Maggie, came in. Howard said they love this. Maggie said that they're awesome. Howard asked how old they were when they had their kids because they said they were older. Patrick said he was 40. Maggie said she was 41. Howard asked how they were conceived. Maggie said that Finneas took 1 shot in. They said Billie was one shot in the fertility lab.
Howard asked if they like Billie or Finneas more. Billie said she thinks they like Finneas more. Billie said that Finneas was the spotlight in her life until she was 13. She said that he was the golden child until she was 13. She said she was dragged to his events until then. Maggie said he never sat through he plays that Billie was doing.
Howard asked if they knew they were going to be so talented. Patrick said that they were both very outgoing and talented from the start. Patrick said it was great that they had two genders in the house. Maggie said that they made it sound like they were failed actors but they made a living at it for 40 years. Patrick said they own a home so they were fine. Howard said they did make it sound like they were pretty poor. Billie said in 2008 it was pretty rough. She said she had one pair of shoes and one shirt.
Howard asked if they made Billie perform songs at parties and stuff. Maggie said they would and she would perform a song while hiding under the blankets. Billie said she wanted them to hear her but not see her.
Howard asked if they had to punish Billie at all. Maggie said they didn't have any punishments or rewards. Patrick said they had rules around the house but they didn't have to punish anyone.
Patrick said he doesn't have anything with his daughter about guys being around her. He said he thinks she has judgment but maybe not the best judgment. He said maybe not bulls eyes. Billie said that she has had discussions about her relationship life and she has very good judgment. She said she knows what she should be doing but she chooses not to do those things.
Howard asked if she's seeing any famous people. Billie said that they're creepy. She said that she doesn't think she should date anyone in her line of work. She said that she might date an actor.
Howard asked if they will go on tour with them. Patrick and Maggie said they have been on tour with them the whole time. They said they work on the tour so they're not just relaxing the whole time. Billie said she likes having them on tour. She said eventually she'll have to leave them at home but she's savoring it now. She said one day she'll have to leave them.
Howard asked if they remember what position they were in when they conceived Finneas. They weren't sure about that. Howard said he sees that they have a very loving family here. He said it's very nice to see. Patrick said that Howard came from the result of abuse and the lack of abuse produced this. Howard wrapped up and gave them some more plugs. They went to break after that.
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Howard said he had better not sing. He said the Billie Eilish group is still listening so he shouldn't sing. Howard said the music they're making is really good and he gets excited about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he appreciates him making interviews so good that he gets him interested in people that he's not usually interested in.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he has heard all the fart jokes and dick jokes over the past 30 years and hearing him talking about the writing process might be the highlight of listening for the past 30 years. Howard said he feels the same way. He said when someone is loose enough to share that process it's great. He said he gets so turned on by that. He said he wishes he could be a fly on the wall when they're doing that. The caller said Howard is the fly on the wall and we're listening through this show.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was another awesome interview and he thought it was surprising that she opened herself up the way she did. He said he appreciates that interview. Howard said that was 2 hours and 2 minutes so that's the second longest interview in their Sirius history. Robin said she found it interesting that they had a no punishment and no reward household. Howard said Fred's daughter was there today during that interview. Fred said she's a huge fan. He said she's into Post Malone too. Howard said she's a grown up now. He said it's surprising how grown up she's gotten.
Howard said the room is clear of all children so they can play a song about Robin. He played a song to the tune of one of Billie's songs. Howard said that was sent in by Boobie Eilish. He said it was actually Psych who sent that in. Howard did a live commercial read and took another break.
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Howard asked if Felicity is in prison yet. Robin said she doesn't think so. Howard asked what they're waiting for. He said even Michael Cohen got to wait a while before going to jail for 3 years. He said it's the weirdest thing that he has to go to jail because he did something for the President and Trump still gets to be President.
Robin said there's a lot of news in music today. She said they have announced who is in the Super Bowl Halftime show. Robin said it will be J-Lo and Shakira. Howard said he'll probably watch the Kitten Bowl. He asked if J-Lo is big enough to be in the halftime show. Robin said that's why she's teamed up with Shakira. Robin said there are a lot of bands that haven't been invited. Howard asked if Shakira is still in shape. Robin said she hasn't seen her since she was on The Voice. Howard said he likes when she dances around half nude.
Robin read a story about Blondie, Debbie Harry, writing a book. Howard said he read about that. Robin said she didn't know David Bowie had a big member like she claims. Howard said that's what was in his pants in those videos. Robin said Debbie blew the lid off of that and talked about how Iggy Pop and Bowie came to her looking for cocaine when their dealer died. Robin read some other things that she has in her book. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Global Citizen Festival. She said she always misses out on it. Howard said he's glad she missed it. He said she doesn't need to be out there doing that. Robin said a lot of people showed up for it. Howard said he'd never go to something like that. Robin said she'd be back stage or something like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about Billy and Finneas not letting the record company get in their way. Howard said not too many people would do that. He said most people would let experts handle their career. He said he thinks they have good parents there. He said his mother didn't let him make any decisions.
Robin read more about the global citizen festival and who showed up to that. She had a bunch of celebrities who were there. She had some clips of people speaking at the event too. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Robert Hunter who was a poet who wrote some of the Grateful Dead's songs. Robin said he's dead at 78. Robin had some of the songs he collaborated on for Howard to play. Howard wasn't a fan of the Grateful Dead. He was goofing on some of the songs but he said he did like a couple.
Robin had Howard play some of Cream's ''Sunshine of Your Love.'' Robin said Ginger Baker has been critically ill and in the hospital. Howard said he didn't look well when he was in Cream. Robin said that was a long time ago. She said his family isn't sharing details of his illness but he has suffered a number of ailments over the past few years. Robin said he has had heart problems lately. She said he has COPD and other issues. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked if Howard knows what a Labradoodle is. Howard said it's a mix between a Labrador and a poodle. Howard said it came about because a woman asked if there was any dog that didn't shed but would make a good service dog. Howard said the guy who made this dog now says it's the biggest mistake he ever made. Howard said the pure breds are inbred and not healthy. Robin said she has tape of this guy talking about it. She said he was on a podcast talking about it. Howard said just adopt a pet from a shelter. He said he and his wife have saved so many animals. He said they have a calendar out and all of the proceeds are going to that shelter. He said their cat Helen is from an irresponsible breeder. He said Beth got the panic call and they bought an incubator and they lost one and Helen was the runt of the litter. He said Beth is turning her into a therapy cat. He said she will just lay in your arms. He said you can buy a calendar at BethsFurryFriends.com.
Robin read more about the Labradoodle and the guy who started it asking people to stop breeding them.
Robin read a story about a bus driver who had one kid call 911 on her. Robin had some of the 911 call for Howard to play. The bus driver could be heard yelling that she is crazy but because she loves life. Robin said you can see the kids wobbling back and forth because she was driving so recklessly. Robin had a second clip of this kid talking to the 911 operator. Howard said Damon Feldman just hired her to box in the next celebrity boxing match. He said that's a joke. He played the clip of the kid saying the driver was drunk and some of the kids got off. The kid said she ran 3 red lights. Robin said the police officers caught up and arrested her. Robin said the 911 operator said she was hoping the kids were wrong about what they were describing.
Robin read a story about what's going on with the whistle blower in the Donald Trump controversy. Robin said that they're saying that they're getting threats for the whistle blower and the attorney's on the whistle blower's case.
Robin asked what's going on with Rudy Giuliani. She said he seems to have lost his mind. Robin said he used to be so in control. She had some audio of Giuliani on a talk show calling someone an idiot.
Robin said that Robert De Niro dropped the F-bomb on CNN the other day. She had some audio of De Niro saying ''Fuck 'em'' about FOX News. De Niro was talking about how Trump should not be president at this point.
Robin read a story about James Hetfield from Metallica going back to an addiction treatment center. Robin had some audio of one of their songs for Howard to play. Howard said things seemed good when they were in there. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Howard started the show talking about how he went to bed early so he's chipper. He said he got up around 2 in the morning after having a radio nightmare. He said he has this once in a while but this one was particularly bad. He said most radio guys have had this. He said it was so vivid. He said Scott Shannen had hired him to work at WNEW in New York. He said he never worked there but it was a dream. He said he was doing his first radio show there and there were no records he could find so he had to run into another room. He said he wasn't able to find what he wanted to play and then the records run out and he gets dead air. Then he says a few words on the air and he's unable to talk like a regular DJ. He said he plays a Donna Summer record. He said he should have prepared early. He said he woke up sweating from this nightmare. He said he's miserable all day. He said he can't even sleep without having a nightmare.
Howard said he's never had a sex dream where he's fucking someone like Julia Roberts. He asked where that joy is in his life. Robin said he told her about a sex dream and he stopped himself from cheating in it. Howard said everything is just awful and it bothers him. He said he's not sure what happened to him. Robin said she knows. Howard said he doesn't understand what's going on with him. He said it's depressing.
Howard said he's uncomfortable with any type of change. He said he read in the paper about how Curtis Sliwa ended up at the same wedding as John Gotti Jr. He said that's the son of the late don of the Mafia family. He said Curtis was kidnapped at John Gotit's orders in the back of a car. He said it's a crazy story. He said he's reading this article and it says Joe Piscopo brought Carol Alt to the party. He said that annoyed him and he's not sure why. He said he doesn't have to be annoyed. He said he found Carol Alt so good for him. He said he doesn't want to be with either one. He said he doesn't know why that annoyed him but it did. He said he read that Joe did two songs at the wedding. He said he likes Joe and Carol but he's not happy so he gets upset about it.
Robin said he concentrates on the things that irritate him. She said he has happy things in his life but he doesn't dwell in those things. Howard said he was thinking about Fred's daughter. He said she was up there yesterday. Fred said she has been walking on air ever since so he has to thank him for that. He said she was shaking after watching. He said the minute she came into the studio she was shaking. Howard said she's so sweet. He said she's a big Billie Eilish fan. Fred said she's a huge fan.
Howard said Fred was carrying on like he had just met his daughter. He said she was very sweet. He said he was thinking about her coming in and seeing Billie. Howard said he was thinking about what it was like for her and he's glad she was down there. Fred said she's 17 years old. Howard said that has to be mind blowing for her to see another 17 year old who is so big. He said that would have been like him meeting a Beetle or something. He said he'd be shaking too.
Howard said he still can't believe that Fred has a kid. He said he thinks he just lives there and waits for him to come to work.
Howard said they got a lot of nice feedback about Billie and Finneas coming in yesterday. Howard played some of the song ''All The Good Girls Go to Hell'' that Billie and Finneas performed yesterday. He read some email about how great they were as guests. Howard played the other song they performed yesterday.
Howard asked JD where the audio clip is. JD asked what he was talking about. Howard told him and asked where it was. JD got it up for him a second later. JD said he was talking to someone about something and didn't hear him.
Howard played the clip of Bagel Boss guy talking about how he was never going to show up for that boxing match. Howard read some email about the guy and how they have to stop paying attention to the guy. Howard said he agrees with that.
Howard said some people think his Damon Feldman impression is good so they got something good out of that. Howard read some feedback about that too. He said when he retires he'll do that impression on the road.
Howard said everyone agrees that they're sick of hearing from Brent and Michael Rapaport. He read some feedback about that. He said he didn't want to go through all of them though. He said the only aftermath of that feud was that Brent used to work on the Bubba the Love Sponge Show and worked with this guy named Manson who did song parodies. He said Manson sent them a negative song about this.
Brent came in and said this is how they show love over there at Bubba's show. He said he and Manson used to do comedy together. He said he still talks to him but he's no longer with Bubba.
Howard said he got an email from Bubba who got kicked off of Twitter. He said that girl Greta Thunberg is being made fun of online and he doesn't get that. He said this girl cares about the future of this world and these people are ridiculing her. He said Bubba put up a post that was kind of funny. He said it was a big picture of the girl and it had some of the words she was saying and Bubba just said ''shut up little kid.' He said he was kicked off for that reason according to Bubba. Howard said he finds that hard to believe. He said to get kicked off you have to do something really heinous. Brent said they usually give you a chance to delete the post and then they reinstate you.
Howard said he thought Manson would write a song about Michael Rapaport but he didn't. Brent said no chance. Howard said Manson wrote this song called ''Fuck you, you piece of shit Brent Hatley.'' Howard said this is a nasty song. He played the song where Manson was going off on Brent calling him names.
Howard asked why Manson is no longer on the show. Brent said what he was told was that Manson had a deal that he doesn't want to be around any women on the show. He said they don't allow nudity on Twitch and that's where they were doing a show. He said when they got suspended a second time Manson quit the show. He said that's what he told him. He said Bubba might have a different story. Howard said he's still writing song parodies about him. Brent said he only writes songs like that if he likes you.
Howard asked who wrote the song parody about Michael Rapaport. Jason said it was a fan. Howard played the song where the guy sang about Michael Rapaport being a huge pussy.
Howard said Brent has a woman set up out in L.A. to fuck. He said they talked about that. Brent said he has 2 lined up. Howard said he's worried about his marriage. Brent said he gets that. He said in a world of billions of people there are people who see love and marriage in a different way. Howard said Brent isn't one of them. He said this isn't going to end well. Brent said he's not jealous.
Howard said he'd say that there's a 50/50 split with the Brent and Rapaport fight. He said they're split on that.
Brent said Howard didn't like Mayor Dinkins and then Giuliani came along and he was great. Robin said even when he was defeated there was an outcry when he was conceding. Robin said his supporters got a little weird and he calmed them down saying that this is one city and he is the mayor now. Robin said that was the first time he ran.
Howard said he has Donald Trump on the phone so he has to take that call. He took the call and Fake Trump was talking about the witch hunt against him and how he's being framed. He said it's bigger than his daughter's nipples. Howard asked if he saw those pictures in the Daily Mail. Trump said he saw them and she gets them from him. He said he has big nipples like that and he can cut glass in the winter.
Howard asked fake Trump about the Ukraine thing and Nancy Pelosi among other things. Fake Trump joked about all of that. Howard asked if he has a message for his base. Trump said don't worry, this will blow over once he says something even more stupid and gets caught up in that. Howard wrapped up with fake Trump a short time later. Trump asked Robin to blow his whistle before he hung up. He said he was pointing to his penis when he said that.
Howard asked if the caller is a scientist. The guy said no. Howard said the president is no scientist either. He said he has no idea what's going on. He said this caller is brain washed. The caller asked if he thinks the world is going to end in 10 years. Howard said there will be catastrophic things happening in the next 10 years. The caller kept talking over Howard so he hung up on him.
Howard said we can do a lot to improve the planet. He said the oceans are filling up with plastic. He asked if you don't believe that. He asked when we became anti-science. He said we have to stop with the invisible guy in the sky. He said this is science. He said they just use thoughts and prayers when kids get shot. He said this is sickening when people go off on this little girl.
Howard went off on Mitch McConnell for a minute too. He said the guy is a moron and somehow has as much of a voice for his little state as they do for New York which has a ton more people in it. He said there is a group of people who are insane out there. He said this guy from Kentucky has as big a voice as they do with New York. He said they have two senators from that state with 7 people in it. He said Bill Maher talks about it all the time. He said this is a crazy system. He said it has to change.
Robin said that all started when they only had 13 states. Howard said she's right about that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said the Billie Eilish interview was great yesterday. Howard said they made news a lot with the revelation that she was conceived with invitro fertilization. He said that made a lot of news and something else did too.
The caller said she appreciates hearing Howard doing the interview because it's like a father doing it. She said it was nice to hear that. Howard thanked her for that.
Howard said people liked hearing the process of someone putting a song together. He asked the two of them to come up with a song and they started improvising. He said he asked them to do it with sleep paralysis as the subject. He said JD and Sal suffer from that too. Howard played that part of the interview yesterday where Billie and Finneas worked on the new song.
JD Puppet came to life talking about the sleep paralysis thing. Howard got back to real JD and asked if he feels vulnerable. JD said of course. He said someone said if you try to blink you can wake yourself up. He said that hasn't worked for him.
Howard asked JD if Sal has discussed that with him because he has the same problem. JD said he hasn't. Robin asked if it still happens with him. JD said it does but it's not that consistent.
Howard said he might have to get Sal in there to talk about that and Greta Thunberg. He said he's upset with her. He said he thinks he's upset because Sal is stupid and doesn't understand it.
Sal came in and said he's fine with Greta. He said he just finds her a little comical the way she comes off. He said the message is fantastic. He said her delivery is funny. He said that her message is good and he's all for that climate change thing. Howard asked if he's for change or against it. Sal said he's for preserving the universe. Robin asked about the earth. Sal said that's part of the universe.
Howard said he thought he called her a pain in the ass in the making. Sal said he did. He said she's very boisterous. Howard said she's like his wife. Sal said her husband is going to have his hands full.
Howard got to Sal and his sleep paralysis. He said he claims to have this and he says the cure for it is to control and release your soul from your body. Sal said that's correct. Robin asked how you do that. Howard said he did it and he got over the sleep paralysis. He said he has flown out of his body with astral projection. Howard said he's sure he has. He said his physical body is still paralyzed but he can go into other rooms. Robin asked if he still can't move. Sal said you can. He said your body can move.
Howard asked if Sal really thinks he's flying around the house. Sal said everyone can do it. He said of course he's doing it. Howard asked why he can't fly out of the house. Sal said he's afraid of heights. He said flying in the house doesn't get to him. He said he once left the house and shot up to the stars. He said he was going very fast. He said he panicked and woke himself up. Howard said that's called a dream. Sal said it's in real time though. Howard said maybe fly into the hottest chick in the neighborhood's house. Sal said he may have been working on that.
Howard asked why he didn't go to the sun. Sal said it was nighttime. Howard asked if the sun wasn't here. Sal said it moved. Howard said it was night so he flew toward the stars. Sal said he was flying very fast. Howard asked why the sun isn't out at night.
Howard asked what the sun is. Sal said it's the biggest star in the world. Howard said it's just a star. Sal said it's very big. Sal said it's big because it's big visually. Sal said the earth rotates and the sun sets. Howard asked where it goes. Sal said he doesn't know.
Howard asked Sal where he flew. Sal said he just went toward the stars. He said he didn't see the moon or anything. Howard said this is a dream. He said you'd think you'd go somewhere that you can't see. Sal said this was his third time doing it. Howard said maybe fly to David Letterman's house and hear what he was saying. He said that he could learn something that no one else knows. Sal said that happened to him. He said he went back to his old house in Holbrook. He said in the house was a garage and he saw a black car and he saw it with Florida plates. He said he drove out there the next day and saw that car with Florida plates on it. He said that proves it.
Howard said he has quite a gift there. Sal said you can detach your soul from your body and float around. He said he never saw his own body but he has seen his wife laying down. He said some people want to scream when they're paralyzed. He said you can't do it. Howard said maybe his brain floated away from his body and never came back.
Howard said he's giving him a headache. Sal said all you have to do if you have sleep paralysis is releases your soul from your body. Howard asked how he's doing with the vaping. Sal said he's still dabbling. He said he's vaping. Gary asked if he's vaping less now. Sal said maybe 50-60 percent less. He said he doesn't do it in the house. He said he told his kids to stop him if they see him doing it.
Howard said the first vaping death has happened. Sal said he heard about that. He asked why they can't just take away cigarettes. Robin said that's a slow death so they won't ban that. Sal said if they ban vaping they have to ban cigarettes. He said he won't be stopping for now. He said he heard the deaths are from underground companies that are making the vaping stuff with THC in them.
Sal said he told his mother about the flying around and she told him not to do it anymore because he eight sever the soul umbilical cord. Howard asked where he found out about this. Sal said he saw it online. Howard asked if he would star in his new show ''The Long Island Moron.''
Howard asked why his mom was upset. Sal said he promised her that he won't do it anymore. Howard said maybe the vaping is rotting his brain. He asked why he won't spy on women naked. Sal said you don't think about that when you're in the moment. He said you're out and about and you're like ''Whoa!'' Howard said he jerks off at work but when he detaches he doesn't think about sex. Sal said he has no sexual desires when he's floating around in space.
Howard asked why he won't spy on him since he's so obsessed with him. Sal said you're in a another dimension. He said it can't be explained. He said it's another experience. He said you're on earth but in a different realm of earth. He said there are dimensions within earth. He said he once saw a Buddha with lots of jewels when he floated out while watching Jimmy Kimmel. He said he was floating above the bed and he saw this. He said he stopped himself and went back into his body. Howard said he's so mental. He said he's a mental nut. He said he's creating this fantasy because he's so miserable with his life. Howard said this is the craziest thing he's ever heard. He said he can't believe he believes this stuff. Howard said Sal thinks he's floating out of his body while watching Jimmy Kimmel. Sal said these are the beginning stages of this. He said he encourages other people to try it. Sal said his mother doesn't like it. He said she didn't like what she heard.
Howard said Sal didn't want to go to Los Angeles because he hates flying. He said now he's flying out early to hang out with his buddy Larry Caputo who used to be married to the Long Island Medium. He said Richard is going out there now and Sal may sleep in the same bed with Larry. Howard asked why he would do that. Sal said he prefers to be in bed but he could sleep on a couch. He said he's going to turn 50 out there so he's having a dinner out there.
Howard said Shuli is going out there too and it's his birthday. Sal said he invited him out there too. Howard asked how many people are going to his party. Sal said someone else is setting it up. Sal asked if he wants to come. Howard said he scares the shit out of him. He said he's so mental. He said he needs help desperately. Sal said this is a beautiful thing. Howard said it's not. He said it's scary. Sal said he has so much respect for the universe. He said we have to stop dividing countries. Robin said he's coming up with some good stuff after doing this crazy stuff.
Howard asked what happens to us when we die. Sal said there's a lot of levels after this. He said you have to do a lot of hard work after this life.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't believe this guy thinks he can fly around when he doesn't even know where the sun goes. Howard said he gets it. He said he doesn't see the sun so he doesn't know where it is. Howard said he's going to tell him something shocking. The sun is always there. Sal said he knows it is.
The caller asked if Sal knows the moon goes through phases. Sal said there is a department for everyone in life. He said he knows what he needs to know about. He said he got halfway to the stars and panicked. He said he saw things out there in his neighborhood when he was flying around.
Howard said there are people who vote who shouldn't be allowed. Sal said that's a judgmental statement. Howard said he's right and he is judging him. Howard said that's enough of him. Sal said he did a great interview yesterday. Howard thanked him for that.
Sal was trying to explain himself but Howard said he really has to get out of there. He said he wants him to come to his house when he's doing the astral projection. He said forget what his mother told him and get over to his apartment. Howard let Sal go after that. He said he sees him flying out right now.
Howard said these fake news people are the Sal's of this world. He said it's frightening that this is going on. He said he has an IQ of barely 100 and he believes in astrology and things like that. He said they're pliable. He said they're like dog people. He said it's like Pinocchio. He said it's great that he believes in astral projection but not climate change. Robin said he did believe in it.
Fred played a bunch of clips of Sal trying to say words that he didn't know how to say. Howard said that was Sal. He said for those afraid of death, don't worry because Sal says there's an afterlife. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard said they were talking about Sal's nuttiness but Terrence Howard he didn't know much about. Robin said he was in the first Iron Man. Howard said he has to ask Robert Downey Jr. about this. He said he heard Terrence wanted the same money that Robert was getting for the second one and he quit. He said then they brought in Don Cheadle. Howard said he's not sure if that's the truth or not.
Howard said most red carpet interviews are predictable. He said this year Terrence Howard got really weird. He played some audio of Terrence doing an interview and going off on a rant about how there are no straight lines in life and how he opened up the flower of life that exposed the in between spaces... Howard said wow. Robin said he sounds sort of like Sal. Howard said that's why he's playing this. He said there are people who want super powers. He said he's leaving the show Empire because he found this new thing.
Howard said Terrence seems to be hung up on the flower of life. He played another interview where Terrence was talking about it. That interview was on Entertainment Tonight.
Howard said this clip is fascinating because the hosts go along with anything. He said Terrence was going off on a tangent. He said you have to hear this. Howard played the clip and Terrence was talking about what we can accomplish with the brain power humans have. He was talking about plastic and carbon and hydrogen. He was going on and on about using a resonant frequency to break apart the carbon and hydrogen. Terrence said he wants to use his potential to do something else.
Howard said he wants to interview the audience and ask why they were clapping. He said he copied down everything he said and he'll use that on the Ellen show. He said he'll watch her head explode.
Howard said Sal wrote him and said this makes total sense. He said Sal said he got to know this when he was astral projecting. Howard said Terrence was also part of a tech conference in 2015 and they were talking about the changes with streaming and stuff and Terrence went off course talking about this stuff so they just cut him off. Howard played the audio from that day. Terrence was going on and on about multi dimensional things and what the ultimate goal is. They cut him off after he rambled for a couple of minutes.
Howard said they're trying to talk about how to make money and he's talking about the multiple dimensions.
Howard said at the Port Authority there are people sleeping on benches and they say the same things that Terrence Howard is saying. Robin said this isn't funny because it sounds like he's snapped. Robin said this was supposed to be the last season of Empire anyway.
Howard said JD watched TV while his wife was on a Jetski. He said that's how they do vacations. Howard said JD is going on another wine tour soon. He said he's really into that stuff now. Howard asked JD if he can recommend a good white wine. JD said he likes a Resiling and this Kung Fu Girl brand.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why he thinks that because of Sal's ignorance that everyone who is conservative is like him. Howard said he's not sure what he's saying. The caller said he was saying that these are the people who believe in fake news. Howard said he's not a democrat and not a republican himself. He said he's not going to get into a whole political discussion. He said he's not against republican and republican ideas. He said he likes a checks and balances thing. He said he loves that system. He said it enables him to be conservative on some things and liberal on others. He said he likes both parties. He said he supported Rudy Giuliani and guys like that. He said there's no real party affiliation on his part.
The caller interrupted and asked what the democrats have done for the environment. Howard said Obama tried to join with the world to start cleaning it up. The caller said Time magazine said that Obama was one of the worst presidents in history. Howard said the thing he's most disappointed in with the republican party is that they're defending things like collaborating with Russians and overlooking the Ukraine thing. The caller said no and laughed at the collaborating with the Russians. Howard said he fucking hates Russia and anyone who sides with Russia is a traitor. He said he knows this guy is Vladimir and he might be Vladimir Putin. Howard said put your fucking shirt on.
Howard said he's upset about the Saudi Arabians and how no one is doing a fucking thing about them killing that journalist. He said our own intelligence says that the Saudis did it and this prince was responsible and we're doing nothing about it. He said we should be punishing these mother fuckers but we're not.
Tan Mom said she called for a reason. She said she called Shuli a few times about this. She said they did Money Maker and she caught Richard cheating on her. She said she knew this was going on. Howard asked if she's saying that her husband was cheating on her. Tan Mom said she caught him. Howard said she comes on here saying she hates her husband and he's just a limo driver to her. Howard asked what she expected. He said he's not sure if he's cheating or not but she was on the show talking about how disgusting he is. He said he bets she wants him back now. Tan Mom said not at all. She said she wanted everyone to know. Howard said he thought she was hanging out with some guy in Florida. Tan Mom said no. Howard said she was with some guy who had a private plane. Tan Mom said she wasn't physical with him. She said she never cheated.
Howard asked why she always begged Sal to have sex with her. Tan Mom said that's not true either. She said she loves Sal but she never did that.
Howard asked how she caught her husband cheating. Tan Mom said she knew it was going on. She said they saw it on his phone that he was. She said she just wanted to close the book on this. She said it's been 18 years. She was all over the place with the details. Tan Mom said he was cheating on her in their house.
Howard said Shuli has some information on this. He said he has no idea what's going on. Shuli came in and had the Tan Mom puppet with him. Shuli told Howard that she called him very upset yesterday. He said she finally caught Richard cheating. Howard said this is the man who wanted to have some intimacy with a woman who cared about him. Shuli asked if they were making gout or something. Tan Mom said she was leaving. She said she just dismissed it. She said it's gross when you have kids. Howard asked if the woman he's with is very tan. Tan Mom said not at all. She said she's medium. He said she was pretty but nothing to do a cartwheel over.
Howard said he has to go. He said he's not sure what they're even talking about. Howard asked what she's trying to say there. Shuli did his Tan Mom puppet thing and told Howard what she was saying. Tan Mom Puppet said she's open to Sal, Lemet and all of those guys.
Tan Mom was trying to say something but Howard said he has to go. He said he thinks she was plugging the song Money Maker. Shuli said according to her she caught him red handed. Howard said the guy does a lot for her. He said he felt kind of bad for the guy. He said he feels like this might be good for him. He said this didn't sound like fun for him. He said even JD is getting laid.
Howard picked up on High Register Sean and told him that he's worried about him. He said there is no Sasquatch. Sean said there's a film that shows he's wrong about that. He said they have that famous film where they showed it. Howard asked why no one has seen it since then. Howard said he's not sure why George Clooney hasn't seen it since 1976. Howard asked what the name was. Sean said it was Patterson and Gimlin.
Howard said if he was Sean he'd be so busy with work he wouldn't have time to think about Sasquatch. Sean said he's very good at his job. He said he told him that. Howard asked how many hours a day he dedicates to reading about bullshit. Sean said he listens to podcasts while working. Howard asked if he's putting this poison in his kid's heads. Sean said they are well educated. Howard said he's going to give his kids nightmares by telling them this shit. He said he's making stuff up that will make them shit their pants if they ever go to California. Howard said they think they have dog men living in the woods behind their house. He said that's fucking scary to kids. Sean said he doesn't think they believe him on that.
Howard said he has his daughter on the phone. He picked up and someone from the back office was playing the part of the stammering daughter. She said this isn't her real dad. Sean said he sees what he's trying to do there. Howard asked if he should be afraid of Sasquatch out in L.A. She said yes. Howard said he has to let her go.
Howard said his daughter is as nutty as he is. Sean said that they're making him look like a maniac. Robin said he dos that on his own. Shuli said the other thing he has to worry about is earthquakes and fires. Howard said he does have those fears. He said he hasn't been in an earthquake. Howard said he doesn't want to be in that. Sean said he has to be prepared for one. Howard said you have to walk like where the door is at. He said he won't do well with that.
Howard said he has to take a break. Sean said he called to say he has had the sleep paralysis thing too. Howard said he really has to take a break. He said of course he does. Robin said just astral project. Sean said sure. He said Sal is a fucking nut. Howard said if he is from another planet he has his home planet on the phone. Howard took another call from an alien. He let the alien talk to Sean for a minute. He wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said Stacey Dash was the hot girl in the movie Clueless. He said he loved that movie. He said Stacey went nowhere and she became a commentator on FOX News. He said she was against black history month and things like that. He said she's black. He said she wanted trans people to go to the bathroom in the woods and things like that. He said then the guys sent him a clip of her getting arrested a few days ago. Howard said her fourth husband got beaten up. Robin said he had scratches on him. Howard said he saw this video and he couldn't believe she was the hot chick from Clueless. He said she was hotter than the star of the movie. He said she was ridiculously hot. He said she was also in Sharknado 4 fighting Benjy.
Howard said at one point they determined that she wasn't wearing a bra and her panties came up in the discussion. He said she got in the car and her shirt was hiked up. He said she wasn't wearing panties and he was getting aroused watching the video. He said he didn't care about her misery. Robin said it's rare that someone that hot is getting put into a police car. Howard said she wasn't able to stop the shirt from riding up her thighs. Howard said this photographer was very good. He said someone asked what she does for a living and she said ''actress.'' He said then she said she was a TV commentator. He said she mentioned the movie Clueless. He said she didn't mention Sharknado 4.
Howard said he's not sure if you can her it but he'll play the audio. He played the part where she said she did have underwear on. Howard said then she says she wasn't wearing a bra. Howard said he was looking to see if he could see titties under the shirt. He said he thought at this age he'd be over that. Robin said he's getting worse.
Howard said he wonders if his dad thinks about that stuff. He said his mother would never let him get online. He said he should get her out of the house so he can beat off.
Howard said he has audio of Stacey acting with Benjy in Sharknado. He said he can't believe she beat up her husband. Robin said she's not sure you can say she beat him up.
Howard played the clip of Benjy ''acting'' with Stacey Dash. They were both screaming their lines. Howard said he's not sure what either one of them is saying.
Howard said that was miraculously done in one take. He said he doesn't believe they were able to do it in one take.
Robin said she understands the projection since there's a tornado going on. Howard said he's not sure what he's trying to say. Robin said it sounds like Benjy is reading. Howard said he's a really bad actor. He said no offense Benjy. He said Benjy will be out in L.A. with them next week. He said he'll be doing some bits out there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to see that Stacey Dash video. Howard said he should check it out. The caller said they have to ask people what they're wearing when they arrest someone. He said they have to have a female cop show up to do a pat down. He said they have to put them in the car to wait for the female cop to show up.
Howard said he would say ''You have the right to remain hot!'' He said he'd be up on charges right after the police academy. He asked if he can ask if they have implants. He let the caller go before he could answer.
Howard played another clip from a news program where the guy didn't know they cut to him. He ended up saying ''...it's such a weird fucking thing'' when they cut to him in the middle of a conversation.
Howard said this golfer cursed at a guy who wished his ball went in the water. Howard played the clip where the golfer told the guy to get the fuck out of there. Howard said the guy apologized after realizing it got on TV. He said he's not sure why he had to do that. He played the audio of the guy explaining what went on and why he was apologizing.
Howard said he shouldn't have done that. He said it's not his problem. Robin said she can't imagine getting that upset about golf. She said it's such a slow game.
Howard said this is a song that has cursing in it that they played as they went to a commercial break on a show. He played that clip and the hosts had to come back and apologize. He played the apologies too.
Howard said he's not sure why they need a DJ on a news station. Robin said everyone is getting one. Howard said they're going to get a DJ that has only offensive lyrics.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that Robin should have been with a man like him her whole life. He said she needs discipline. Robin laughed at that.
King said it's funny how Stacey beats her husband up and he doesn't file charges so she's going to get out. He said if he did that to a woman he'd get charged even if the woman didn't want to press charges. Howard said that's fascinating. He said he's the only one who cares about this. King said no but Howard said yes and hung up on him. Howard said sometimes he's interesting and sometimes he's just boring. He said he's not sure what to do with that. He did his impression of King talking about that stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what Howard thought about Billie Eilish's family coming in yesterday. Howard said it seems like they have an environment where the kids can think for themselves. He said it was very nice. He said he was very glad they came in. The caller said he liked hearing that Billie is building her brand but they have her point of view of her as a celebrity and as a daughter and sibling. He said it's not an easy environment to create but Howard did a great job with it. Howard thanked him for that.
Robin said she was thinking that was the opposite of the parents trying to buy their kids way into college. She said that they don't have to do that because they're helping them with everything.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is a democrat and he thinks we're blowing the Trump stuff out of proportion. He said it's going to bring everyone out of the woods and mountains to vote for that guy. Howard said he was just talking about how he's neither. He said he's a citizen and he'll vote for whoever is the best candidate. He said they have to stop worrying about the outcome of the election. He said if they feel the president has done something illegal they have to impeach and prosecute this thing. He said they can't worry about the senate going along with them or not. He said they can't worry about it helping or hurting Trump. He said they have to stop trying to predict how it's going to go. He doesn't understand why they worry about it. He said they have to prosecute if there was an offense. Robin said the news channels are constantly on.
Howard took another call from King of All Blacks who said he isn't an idiot. Howard said he thinks he's desperate to get on the air. King said he's not like that. Howard said they get his point. He said there's a difference between women and men. He said he doesn't know the statistical evidence of women beating up men and vice versa. Robin said in Florida that's the law. Howard said he thinks he's overly concerned because he beats women. King said he doesn't do that now. He said he did that in the old days. Howard asked if his woman dropped the charges. King said of course she did. Howard asked if the state came after him. King said no.
Howard said he never lays hands on women. He asked King what happened. King said they are in a small way to blame. Howard said he gets that there's a double standard there. He said he has to go. King said don't hang up. Howard said he has to. He said he started from nothing doing radio. He said he ate, slept and drank radio. He said he slept in a monastery because he wasn't making enough money. He said he went through all of this and finally got success. He said he finally broke through and then the FCC came after him. He said they tried to get him fired. He said this was his life. He said he finally go to the promised land of SiriusXM. He said he beat the odds and he loves his audience. He said he can't subject them to nonsense. He said it's an idiotic phone call and it's a betrayal to the fans. King said he's so dramatic. Howard said when he cuts him of he has determined that he's a bore. He said it's not every time but there are times that it's a draining experience. He said he knows he'll ask how he knows this. Howard said his audience has been based on his judgment call. King said he gets that.
Howard took a call from a guy and asked if King is a bore. The caller said he is a bore. He said Florida will press charges too. He said he didn't press charges down there and his wife was arrested. King said that's an oddity. Howard said thank you and said please call in with something more interesting. Howard said he's going to say something. He said he knows it's a big issue with him that he thinks he should be able to beat a woman. King said he's going to change subjects. King asked why he thinks a woman goes back to a guy who hits her. Howard said he the odds and King beat women. He said that's it. He hung up on him.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he was aware that Stacey Dash had a Playboy layout. Howard said he was not aware. He said they somehow have it all locked down. Gary said he's looking at it and she has her clothes on. JD said he sees nude. Howard said he wants to see that. He asked Gary to bring that in. He said he's sending out an All Pervs Bulletin. He said he wants to see that. Howard said he loves hot, crazy chicks.
Howard said he should take a call and then take a break. He said he has to talk about Aaron Carter who just got a tattoo on his face. He said he has Rihanna on his face. He said it's her as Medusa.
Gary brought in the pictures of Stacey Dash. Howard said she has huge nipples. He said he was surprised by that. He said she has some ass too. He said she's a very good looking woman. He said he has to see what everyone else is looking at. He said she has some body for a crazy woman. He said she can hit him as much as she wants to.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has been listening for 25-30 years. He said he's mind blown by some of the ways he thinks. He asked if he realizes that they're going to take 75 percent of his money if people like Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren are elected. Howard said he doesn't like that part but Bernie stuck up for him with the FCC. He said he appreciates that. Howard said someone like Joe Biden is a better choice for the middle of the road. He said if Elizabeth Warren is elected she'll go middle of the road too. He said what he believes about her and Bernie is their sense of fairness. He said they understand that people are suffering. He said they seem to care about people and want to find a solution. He said the solution may not be their answer but they are working toward one.
Howard asked where the Stacey Dash pictures are. He said they can all agree they like women. He said if you want to talk about that shit call Meet the Press. He said this is unbelievable. He said that guy is more woman than man.
Howard said if he were president he wouldn't be sucking Russia's balls. He said fuck that Kim Jong Un too. He said don't even talk to that guy. He said he's a shit face. He said don't sit there with that little creep. He said he's gotten worse, not better. He said he'd body shame the guy. He said he's a little fat fuck. Robin said the President doesn't look like Howard. Howard said he hopes Kim Jong Un eats himself to death. He said he hates all of these guys. He said they don't believe in their way of life. He said he'd be doing something about this Russia tampering with our elections. He doesn't like what's going on right now. He said that's all he's saying.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she hates to agree with Sal but the astral projection has worked for her too. Howard asked if she saw the sun when she went to the stars. She said he's really just dreaming. Howard said right. The caller said she has seen her room and traveled outside her house. She said she's seen stuff like that. Howard asked why she agrees with Sal. He asked how it's real if it's just dreaming. He said he has to take a break. He said it's a dopey show today. He said some of you should just listen and not call in. He said she just said she agrees with Sal but then said it's just a dream. He said she must be working with the same IQ. Fred played a bunch of Sal drops where he said stupid things. Howard was arguing with the clips trying to correct him on the pronunciation of some words.
Howard said they'll take a break and reboot. He said they'll act like this didn't happen. He went to break after that.
Howard asked where Robin was. Robin said she was out doing work. Howard said he packed for the trip to L.A. yesterday. He said they packed all of his outfits for the trip. He said he has to do 3 radio shows and 3 interviews. He said he hates packing. He said he hates picking out the outfits. He said they figured he had to pack some outfits for going out to dinner. He said people are getting all excited he's going out there. He said he wishes that they hadn't said anything about going out there. He said he has to work out there but Beth wants to go out to dinner. He said they know people they never get to see. Howard said he really wants to please people.
Howard said he should sit by the pool out there too. He said he has to pack for that. Robin asked if he doesn't get enough pool side. Howard said maybe not. He said he had to pack his Peloton shoes. He said he's going to do that out there. He said he told them he wants one in his room. He said he demanded that from SiriusXM. He said he has to keep doing it even while he's away. He said he got a gold chip for doing 8 weeks in a row.
Howard said he has to bring baby wipes for his asshole. He said he had to pack his Metamucil too. He said it's so annoying.
Howard said he was thinking about going out to dinner and he wanted to wear something he already wore. He said he hates the way he looks. He said he's getting bad really quickly. He said just wait until you see him on Ellen. He said people will be frightened. He said he is not aging well. Robin said he's aging in a lovely way.
Howard said he hangs around with a lot of younger people. He said he's aging like cat shit. He said it changes color and that's happening to him.
Howard said he has all of the Hollywood celebrities on the phone. He took the call and had fake Arnold Schwarzenegger on the line. Arnold said they'd all so excited. He had Maggie Smith on the line but had no idea who that was.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he'd pack his Sketchers for him. Howard said he has nothing to wear this week because it's all packed. Ralph said he has stuff out. He said he has clothes out for this week. Howard said he doesn't know about all of this. Ralph said he's just cranky. He said he's looking in the mirror and then he freaks out.
Howard said his wife is going to look at the outfits and tell him they don't look good on him. He said he asks her why Ralph doesn't know that. Howard said he doesn't look at himself. Ralph said he's seen her make some mistakes. Howard asked what he means by that. Ralph laughed and said everyone makes mistakes. He said maybe Beth doesn't do it all just right either.
Howard said she always looks good. Ralph said she does. Howard said she gets critical and then he loses faith in the outfit. Ralph told him to tell her to be quiet. Howard said Ralph came up with a plan. He said he's going to stop off to see his daughter. He said he's going to spend time at her place. He said he's not going to have gotten enough sleep. He said Ralph told him he'll have everything unpacked and he'll go over it all with him. He said he's going to want to lay down and Ralph is going to do that. Ralph said he can let him know when he wants to go over it. He said nevermind they won't talk about it on the air. Howard said he had enough of him yesterday. Ralph said the same about him. Howard said Ralph actually worked very hard yesterday. Ralph said he has like 8 suitcases. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said he's going to get to L.A. and he's going to take it all out on him. He said Ralph doesn't have it easy. He said he asked him to just pack everything and don't make any mistakes. He said then they picked the outfits and Ralph wanted to do one thing at a time. He said he had to pack his toiletries and all of that. He said he wanted to do some of that on his own. He said Ralph told him to do it now so he can get it done. He said now he's all cranky and exhausted from the day. He said there's so much planning. Robin said he's done this over and over again. She said he should know what to do now. Howard said he just gets angrier. He said he has 7 toiletry bags.
Howard took a call from fake Michael Caine who sounded just like Simon Cowell. The guy changed his voice and said it is Simon. He asked if Beth is coming to L.A. Howard said she is but she's not attracted to you. Howard spent a minute talking to fake Simon.
Howard said he doesn't want to go to L.A. He said he was all cranky yesterday.
Howard said Sirius asked if he wants to continue working with them after this year. He said they'll do whatever he wants. He said he was thinking about how great it would be if they all lived there at Sirius and he could just do a show whenever he wants. Robin asked how people would know when to tune in. Howard said they replay it 24 hours. Robin said some people want to listen live. Howard said he could alert them on Twitter. Robin said she's not going to live there. Howard said there goes that. Robin said they could get beepers and have everyone come into work. She said she can get in there when he wants to work. Howard said maybe they can do that.
Howard took a call from Apples who said that Billie Eilish interview was awesome. Howard said he had a good day yesterday. He said he was impressed with her and her brother and parents. He said it was pretty cool. Apples said that he also got him on these Metamucil crackers. Howard said he thinks his system used to be sluggish. He said now it's that of a 19 year old. Apples asked if he tried the chocolate ones. Howard said he doesn't eat those. He said he likes the apple. He said his doodies just slide right out. He said there's a lot less doody hanging around in his asshole. Apples said it's nice and lumpy.
Apples asked if he has ever had a hemorrhoid. Howard said no. He said this is too intimate. He said he has to take a break before news. Fred said that would be a good idea. Howard said he doesn't want to break. He said he was going to do a whole rap on Aaron Carter. He said he has to get out of there on time. He said he will do the Aaron Carter thing tomorrow. He said he'll take a break now. They went to break after that.
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Robin said she was watching someone on FOX last night and he's gone from silver to red. Howard said the hair dye turns red somehow. Howard said it's frightening.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who asked if he considered taking the show to L.A. back when WNBC fired him. Howard said he did. He said he had the opportunity to go there. He said he doesn't like change though. Jim asked if he thinks he would have had the success he's had if he had moved. Howard said yes. He said he knew he had to get the show on out there. He said it killed him that they weren't on out there. He said he forced the company to syndicate him.
Howard said he told the company that they'd keep him there if they did that. He said they were paying the company to do it. He said that's why they fought the FCC for them. He said he was a cash cow for the company.
Howard said he thinks that Bill Summers was the guy. He said he wanted him to go to KLOS out there. Jim said he thought that it was like 1985. Gary said it was 89 that Summers was working there. Howard said he doesn't know.
Jim asked if he's ever thought of letting Beth dress him. Howard said that wouldn't go well. He said they get cranky when they have to do that stuff. Howard said Beth doesn't want to pick his outfits. He said Ralph is into it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he keeps getting the King of All Blacks calls and maybe he should be suspended like Bobo was. Howard said he doesn't always have bad calls. He said he can't do that.
Howard had Fred play Robin into her news with a song parody. Robin started her news with a story about Elliot Spitzer being ready to marry again. Howard said that guy was a good governor and he really fucked up. He said he was so horned up for hookers. Robin wondered if he has changed at all. Howard said if anyone should go to therapy it's that guy. He said he fucked his life up so bad. He said he should have just kept seeing hookers. He said Trump was with a porn star. Robin said he's never admitted to that. Howard asked what he's hiding on his tax returns. He said he didn't run for governor so he didn't reveal his but he just didn't want people to see his finances. He wondered if he just doesn't have that much money. Robin said there are a lot of theories why. Robin said every time there is something about him he goes to DEFCON 4.
Howard asked if Robin thinks Spitzer can keep it in his pants. Robin said that's the question. Howard said maybe he mellowed out as he got older. Howard said he doesn't really look at other women now. Robin said he has worked on his relationship and a lot of people don't understand that you can love more deeply when you're married. Howard said he really does.
Robin read a story about Roger Daltrey having to step off stage when his voice went. Robin said they had to end the show. She had some audio of Roger talking. Howard said Roger must have been bummed. He played the clip and Roger announced that they had to call off the show. Robin said he wasn't able to talk at all. Robin said Pete had to come out to end the show. Howard said he could sing those songs. He said Roger is a real performer. He said he knows he wants to be out on the road. He said Brent saw the Who at Madison Square Garden and said it was a disaster. Howard had Brent come in to talk about that. Brent said this was recently. He said he was excited. He said Pete was great but Roger had a tough time. He said he was yelling at the sound guy between every song. He said Pete told him it was his old age that caused the hearing problems. He said he thinks that things are just going bad. He said some songs he was on and some he wasn't. He said he was struggling that night. Howard said Pete could have finished that show himself. Howard said he knows Roger likes being out on the road making money because he doesn't get the royalties from writing the songs. Brent said he's seen them before and they were great. Howard took a call from fake Roger Daltrey but it didn't go anywhere so Howard hung up and let Brent go too.
Robin read a story about this woman named Sarah Rivest who was doing a report on the street for a TV station and a man came out and kisses her. Robin had some audio where the guy did that. The reporter said that was not appropriate. Robin said usually people wave their hands but this guy made contact with her. Robin said she decided to speak out about it. She had another clip. Robin had Howard play that too. Sarah went through what happened and said this was embarrassing and it made her feel powerless. She said this is too common and journalists in the field experience this all the time and it's not okay. Howard said he's with her on that. Robin said the guy wrote her a letter apologizing too. She had the clip of Sarah reading the apology. Fred played the Crackhead Bob ''I am torry'' drop. Howard said he liked how she gave the guy's real name on the air. It was Eric Goodman.
Howard said he keeps hearing about Ronnie's trip to Las Vegas. He said he heard he got first row seats to Aerosmith. He said they were gotten by his buddy. He said his buddy knew the tour manager so they got them to sit on the side of the stage. Robin said she claims that Ronnie was hugging and kissing her and she had no idea who he was. Howard asked Ronnie if he should call him Ronnie Goodman.
Ronnie came in and asked what woman he's talking about. Howard got the note he got from this person. Ronnie asked who reported this. He said there was no one there he knew. Howard read the note and this person said that the manager's wife said that this person had hugged and kissed her on the lips. Ronnie said he didn't do that. He said he met some people from Canada. He said he ''didn't kiss nobody.'' Howard said that means you kissed someone. Ronnie said ''Oh god.''
Gary said he got a call from the manager and the manager's wife. He said she said she didn't know anyone at the party but one guy came to thank her and he hugged her longer than he should have. Gary said she got into the car with her husband and she told him the story to her husband and the husband is a huge fan of the show. She showed him a picture and he knew it was Ronnie. Ronnie said he didn't do that and it wasn't him. He said he didn't thank the manager's wife. Howard said maybe he was turned on. Gary asked if he saw a woman after the show. Ronnie said there were people but he didn't hug or kiss them.
Ronnie said he's not sure where he gets his information. He said he just said thank you to people. Robin asked if he hugged anyone. Ronnie said no. Robin said he is a hugger. Ronnie said it wasn't him.
Howard asked what happened at the pool out there. Ronnie said he just met some fans. Howard asked if anyone got topless. Ronnie said no. He said he took pictures with people. Howard said he saw them and he has really skinny legs. Ronnie said so what. He said let people goof on him. Ronnie said he did get drunk there at the pool. Fred did his Ronnie Puppet thing and had him yelling stuff out.
Howard asked what made him so crazy at the pool. Ronnie said he had a drink. Howard asked if Stephanie got topless. Ronnie said they weren't at the topless pool. Howard said he doesn't sound so crazy to him. He said he was appropriate at the concert and the pool. Ronnie said he's not sure about the pool. Howard said he's boring Ronnie.
Ronnie said there was one young woman at the Aerosmith show. He said he might have hugged her. He said he doesn't remember. Howard said she wasn't complaining. He said he just hugged her too long. Ronnie said he didn't kiss her on the mouth. He said there was another girl there. He said this girl Nicki was there and she was with Aerosmith. He said he took a picture with her and held his arm around her. He said that was it. He said everyone else was fucked up there, not him. Ronnie said he thinks the girl's name was Jen. Howard asked if he kissed her on the mouth. Ronnie said he didn't. Howard said that was the big report.
Howard asked if they should strap him down in L.A. like Hannibal Lecter. Ronnie said whatever. Howard said he's going to be working out there. Ronnie said he doesn't give a shit. He said he was told he was going out there as a radio personality. Howard said he gets reports about him.
Gary came in with a picture of this Jen person. Ronnie said he didn't kiss her. He said he did hug her but didn't kiss her. Howard said he wants to see that picture. Ronnie said she's smokin' hot. Howard had Gary show him the picture. Ronnie said that guy never came over to him. Gary said that's the manager. Howard said he's sure Ronnie hugged her. Ronnie said he thanked her. He said she hooked them up really cool. He said they had iPods to listen to right on stage.
Howard said he says he did hug but nothing inappropriate. Ronnie said all of that stuff went on after. He said it wasn't him though. He said they were all wasted.
Howard told Ronnie he can go. Fred mentioned the Mambo cologne so Howard said he puts on too much of that stuff. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Pixie Geldoff who is the daughter of Bob Geldoff. Robin said she's a model and singer. Howard said just like Fred. Robin said she pulled one of her songs so they can hear what she's up to. Howard played the song and that was it for the story.
Robin said they lost Jessye Norman the opera singer last night. Robin had some audio of her singing. Howard said he hates opera. He said he wishes he could get into it. He asked if they have any Underdog singing opera. Fred played a clip of her singing. Howard said he prefers Underdog. He said he's not making a joke either. They had Robin singing opera. Howard said he likes that too. Robin said Jessye was 74.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Beth drinks when they go out. Howard said she does. The caller was wondering if she was brainwashed too. Howard said the callers are being weird today. He said she drinks more now that he doesn't. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a LAPD officer recording a woman singing on the street. Robin had the audio of the woman singing. Robin said the woman is a violinist who was homeless after medical bills took all of her money. Robin said this woman's violin was stolen and she started singing instead. Robin said the recording went viral and now people are trying to raise money to get her a new violin.
Robin read a story about the new Joker movie coming out this weekend. Robin said people are worried about the violence in the movie. She said that the military put out a warning about there being violence at the theaters that show the movie. Howard said he will watch it on his iPad instead.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if JD is going to smoke weed on the air out in California. Howard said yes they are planning on doing that. He said they have a lot of plans out there. He said maybe 10 percent will happen. Howard asked if JD is nervous. JD said he is. He said he has a lot of feelings about it. Howard had a song parody about JD and his weed smoking out there. Howard said that alone will be worth going out there for.
Robin read a story about Ronan Farrow writing a book and people are bracing themselves for what comes out in that. Robin said he's going to talk about how NBC killed the story he had on Harvey Weinstein. Robin said those are the things they can look forward to in the book ''Catch and Kill.''
Robin read a story about a group that's saying eating red meat is fine. Robin said they say that red meat doesn't lead to the health issues they say it does. Howard said he thinks the Jon Hein institute put that out.
Howard took a call from a woman who said they should name King of All Blacks ''Black Bobo.'' Howard said he likes that. He said he will hate that.
Robin read a story about Domino's hiring a person to taste garlic bread all day. Robin said they need some quality control and this is a legitimate job. Robin said it's a taste testing job where you give your opinion on their food for 7 hours a day.
Robin read a story about Hillary Clinton being on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert and she weighed in on what's going on with President Trump. Robin had some audio of that interview.
Robin said the President tweeted about how if he's impeached there may be a Civil War. Robin had some audio of people talking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about McDonald's is releasing a meat free burger today. Howard said good for them. He said that's a good thing for the environment. He said the fake meat burgers are delicious. He said Jon Hein has to give them a try. Jon said he'll pass. Howard asked why. Jon said if he goes to McDonald's he's not going there for that. Howard said maybe it's just as good. Jon said he'd try it. He said he'll be skeptical. Howard said just try it. Jon said he will.
Robin read a story about how Justin Bieber renewed his vows with Hailey Baldwin. Robin read about how some people were banned from using the pool at the hotel while they were doing that. Howard said he wanted to remarry Beth but she didn't want to do it. He said she said no in front of everyone. He said he has done that multiple times and she doesn't want it. He said he just wants to profess his love for her again. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Howard started the show talking about how he's trying to get something out of his head about the L.A. trip that he doesn't want to bring up on the air. He said Robin will get all worked up over it. He said they're bringing a bunch of people out there that aren't necessary. He said he'll talk about it. He said Benjy is coming out and bringing his Shofar. He said that's an instrument which is a ram's horn that Jews blow into on Rosh Hashanah. He said that annoys him. He said Benjy thinks it'll be funny on the air. He said they've heard him blow that thing before. He said it's been like 20 years in a row.
Howard said he and Beth went to dinner last night and walked. He said Benjy was out there yelling out to him. He said he thinks he rides his bike around where he lives so he might run into him. He said he and Robin live fairly close and they never run into each other. He said he and his wife got into an argument about Benjy. He said he said this guy must ride around looking for him. He said Beth likes Benjy for some reason and said no he doesn't. Howard said he has to work with the guy.
Howard said Beth doesn't think that he stalks him but he does. He said she thinks Benjy sees him every day. He said he really doesn't. Howard said Fred lives near him too and he never ran into him. Robin said she ran into Fred on the street once.
Howard said he thinks Benjy is a great guy but he's never run into Jon Hein who lives near him. He said he doesn't walk up and down his block. He said Benjy is always around. Robin said she and Jon lived in the same building and she never saw him.
Howard wondered if he would come clean if he asked him. He said he might just do shtick. Fred did his Benjy voice talking about running into him. Howard said people wonder why Benjy draws attention to him. He said he could just keep riding.
Howard said when he did see Benjy he just waved and went inside. He said he's not sure what else he should do. He said Benjy is on that bike and you can't see the seat or any of the bike under him. He said he's so fat.
Howard said the whole L.A. trip starts to annoy him. He said they had a big meeting without him. He said they want to make things run smoothly out there. He said in the middle of the meeting Sal goes ''What about security for me?'' Howard said everyone was looking at him like what are you talking about? He asked who the fuck he is. He said he has security to keep Sal away from him. He said Sal thinks he's so famous. He said he gets the same security he gets there in New York... none. Howard said he has security for him, stay there. He said fuck 'em. He told Sal not to come. Sal said here is no such thing as a bad question. Howard said there is and that was it.
Sal said he was misinformed about his question. He said his question was about security at the building and he asked if there would be security at the hotel. He said he wasn't asking specifically for himself. Howard asked who is looking for him at the hotel. He said he aggravates the shit out of him. He said Sal is staying home. Sal said if something happens at the hotel then it's on his head. Howard said he's a moron. He said it's on his own head. He said they have security at the hotel. Robin told Sal to astral project out there. Howard said he'll get Kim Jong Un's detail to follow Sal around. He said he doesn't want Sal out there. He said he's useless.
Howard asked Sal what kind of security he has when he and Richard go out and do those shitty shows. Sal said none. He said he was just looking out for people. Howard said please stay home. He said there is no reason for him to be there. Sal said good. Howard said he was throwing him a bone to let him get away from his family for a week.
Howard said this is a guy who is never protected and now he needs protection. He said everyone loses their mind. He said this is why he doesn't want to go to California. He said Brent was going around telling Shuli that he has a code name for himself. He said he told Shuli to do the same thing. He said the irony is that when he goes to the hotel he tells everyone that his name is Brent Hatley and no one ever calls his room. He said he registers as either Brent or Shuli. He said no one finds him under those names.
Howard said Sal's not going. He said he doesn't need him there. He said he was throwing him a bone. Howard said this is why he doesn't want to go out there. He said he can go by himself. He doesn't need Sal out there. He told Sal to just astral project himself out there.
Howard said his staff thinks that they're the Beatles. He said he's the Beatles. He said he can't protect them out in L.A. He said Sal is going to fuck himself up out there. He said go back to working at his stock broker place and let them take care of his security.
Howard said this job is too dangerous for Sal. He said he's busy jerking off in this place and worrying about security.
Howard asked Brent about his code name. Fred played Riley Martin's ''Hugh Jassole'' drop. Brent came in and said this is standard operating procedure. He said they had a live show they did and he got a call at 2 in the morning. He said that's why he does this. Howard said tell the front desk to put a do not disturb on your room. He said you don't need a code name.
Howard said he goes under the code name Howard Stern and has them not let calls come through. He said he doesn't need a code name. Brent said it just took one time and he started doing it.
Howard said he knows a guy who is kind of famous and he didn't want to be bothered but he'd go around wearing the jacket from the show. Brent said it's like Bobo wearing the 9/11 jacket.
Howard took a call from fake Brent who was talking about being hounded by the fans at hotels. Howard said they were like the Rolling Stones. Fake Brent said they all had to change their names. He said there were at least 7 fans there that were bothering them. Howard said Bubba likes being famous. Brent said he would have the fans in his room.
Howard said he really doesn't want Sal going. He said he was throwing him a bone and bringing him out to take a break from his family. He said this is a guy who doesn't have security there but now he wants it out there. He said they have hotel security. He asked if he wants someone outside his door. He said he doesn't know what to do with Sal Bieber. Brent said they told Sal they have security at every hotel. Howard said they can send someone right up from the hotel front desk. Howard said that's the security he's going to have at his hotel. He said Sal is such an idiot. Brent said that conversation was so funny with Sal yesterday.
Howard said Sal thinks there is no such thing as a dumb question. He said Sal has asked his share of dumb questions.
Howard asked Brent if he thinks Benjy is stalking him. Brent said it does seem kind of odd that he sees him so much.
Howard asked Sal if he has security at the race track where he has that horse named after him. He said he's a fucking maniac. Sal said he thinks they're all overreacting. Howard said he doesn't have any security there. Sal said he has never asked about it. He said he's sorry he asked about protection. Howard said he's just a fucking douche. Sal said they were discussing security and he asked about it at the hotel. He said he was concerned about the team, not just himself. Howard said he's going to bring him to L.A. and he's going to make him wear a suit of armor. He said that will be his shtick out in L.A. Sal said thanks. Howard said he can buy him a rape whistle too. He said he wants him to go to L.A. and he'll be in charge of security. Sal said thank you again.
Howard said of course they have security. Sal said he was just thinking about the rest of the crew. Howard said he'll be fine out there. He asked if Sal has had any experiences with a crazy fan. He said he has and he hired him. He said it's Sal. Sal said he was asking for security for the guys. Robin said she didn't ask for anything going out there. Sal said he should take a page from her book.
Howard said Sal should just do funny and not worry about security. He said Sal was funny yesterday talking about astral projection. Brent said he loved that he didn't see the sun because it was night time. Howard said that's called asshole projection. He said the universe is as stupid as his view of it. He said he was up in the sky and didn't see the sun. He said if he had seen the sun it would have been the proper thing. Howard said he didn't see the moon either. Brent said Sal said the sun was the biggest star in the world too. Howard said maybe they should bring him. He said Sal is back in.
Howard asked what the name of Sal's fans are. He said maybe the Sal-amanders. He said they're all looking for Sal. Fred played some music for Sal. Brent said that Sal is so fucking funny.
Howard said he got a lot of email about Sal. He said maybe they will be out in L.A. He said maybe he should be worried. Howard read some mail about Sal being so stupid and how he's one head injury away from being High Register Sean. Howard said all of the Sal fans are waiting for him. Howard read more mail about what Sal was talking about yesterday. They were talking about the silver umbilical cord thing and stuff like that.
Howard said the Sal-Tines are going to be out in L.A. He asked what the best name is. Brent said he likes Sal-Amanders. Howard said all of the ''Salmon'' will be out there.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why he's giving Sal such a hard time the past few days. Howard said Sal is such a fucking nut. The caller said Howard has issues too. Robin said this is just stupid. Howard said he has to worry about his own stuff out in L.A. and Sal is asking about security at the hotel. He said no one has security at the hotel. Howard said clearly this guy doesn't have any employees. He said he wants him to go back to being a stock broker. He said leave me alone.
Howard let Larry go and said he's not as energetic as he used to be. He said he was on the phone getting everything ready for the shows out in L.A. He said he has to do some pre-interviews.
Howard said when he was on America's Got Talent he had a ton of clothes in those 4 years. He said he needed the room for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard that he's going to be on Ellen's show. He said he has to listen to this. He said that she scares the shit out of the guests. Howard said he talked about that. He said they told them that if they do that he could end up punching someone out. He said he did let them know not to do that to him. He said the publicist is going to let them know. He said her name is Leslie Dart. He said he's never really had publicists other than Dan Flores who helped him out. He said Leslie is a real pro. He said she's not going to let anyone fuck with him. He said he told her that he's looking forward to going on Ellen's show but he's not up for being scared.
The caller said that Ellen does crazy stuff on her show. Howard said she won't with him. He said he made sure about that. He said there were no games going on with Simon Cowell. He said actually there was. Howard said he just wants to talk to Ellen. He doesn't like games.
Howard said he is a miserable guy. He said that's why people love him. He said he does it for the listeners. He said he was actually cured years ago and he just keeps it up for the fans.
Howard said he's going to be on the look out for someone scaring him on Ellen's show. He said he might have to bring security with him.
Howard asked if Robin is excited about going to L.a. Robin said it's just work and she has to do it. She said she doesn't look at it that way. Howard said he's the arch enemy of fun. He asked if the show is over yet. Robin said they just started.
Howard said he just finished his Metamucil. He asked how Robin's doodies are. Robin said she was thinking she might need the Metamucil. Howard said someone wrote a song parody about his Metamucil. He played that song and Robin said that's sickening. Howard said that was awesome. Robin said it won't get more than one play.
Howard said he woke up in the middle of the night again and watched some TV. He said he fast forwarded through Dancing with the Stars. He said he tapes it but only watches 3 people on it. He said he watches Sailor Brinkley. He said she's not getting better but they say she is. He said he watches Hanna B from the Bachelorette. He said she must have taken dance lessons. He said she thinks she's got something going on. He said she must have stars in her eyes like she's going to be a big star now. Robin said she was warned not to get involved with her dance partner. Howard said she fucks a guy and then says that her lord still loves her so don't shame her. Robin said she doesn't shame Howard. Howard said she should.
Howard said the third person he watches is James Van Der Beek. He said everyone else he fast forwards through. He said there are some heavy set women that he doesn't need to see. He doesn't watch Sean Spicer. He said you know he can't dance. He said the whole show looks like a Richard Simmons workout video. He said James Van Der Beek must have taken dance lessons too. He said he's really into it.
Howard said he watched some of that and some Bill Maher. He said he digs that guy. He said he was going to do a pre-interview but they put him on a phone with a kid who ends up talking to him for a whole hour. He said they're so entertained that he's doing a whole routine with them.
Howard said Ellen's show he's doing a pre-interview. He said Bill Maher's people said he was going to pre-interview him himself. He said they should just record that. He said it may be better than what they do on the show. Howard said now they're saying that Bill doesn't want to do a pre-interview. He said he wants it to be organic. Howard said he was surprised that he does his own pre-interviews. He said they said Bill does the lighting too. He said that way he gets 3 salaries. Howard said there won't be a pre-interview for that so that saves him some time.
Howard said his agent got calls to do other shows but he's only doing those 3. He said he's getting the word out about his book. He said that will get the word out about the book.
Howard said there were shows offering him the full hour. He said it was tempting and very nice of them to ask but he can't do it. He said his psychiatrist said that he has to learn to say no to things.
Howard said he would love to see a documentary on that guy. He said he's picturing needles going into his ass every 5 minutes. He said he doesn't know if he's doing anything but he pictures that. Robin said he has the career of a beautiful woman. She said they have to figure out how to get him undressed in every movie. Howard said he hopes his dick is small. Robin said she thinks he's a nice guy but he should take a break.
Howard did an impression of The Rock talking about all of his working out and eating. Howard said it's like a beauty pageant contestant. He wondered how you spend so much time on your body. He said he doesn't get it. Robin said he's been doing it for years now. Howard said he has a fact that says he sued steroids in his teens but not anymore.
Gary came in and said he has his work out regimen. He said it's 4 pages long. Gary went over the list with Howard. He had different days for legs, back and other parts. Gary said he watches him on that show Ballers that he's really good on. He said he's an ex football player who is an agent. Howard said he's just busting his balls. Robin said he's in every movie and every TV show and he's in the WWE. Gary said he does work a lot.
Howard said good for him. He said he's making money. Robin said you have to say no to something. Howard said that's what his shrink would say. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he's trying to figure out what to do. He said they have a ''Is it racist'' game to play. Robin said she can figure that out. Howard said he was trying to figure this out. He said this is Celebrity Big Brother from this past season. Robin said he was just on that show. Howard said this is from when he was on. Howard said one person said that Kato wanted to make a comment about this other woman looking like Ms. Cleo. The woman said that's racist.
Howard said the guys asked if that's racist or not. Howard said it's not. Robin agreed. She said saying you look like someone isn't racist. Howard said he asked if the woman looks like Ms. Cleo. Howard said if someone says he looks like Ric Ocasek from the Cars that isn't racist. Howard said hanging out with OJ is a problem. He said hanging out with this woman is a problem. Howard said Kato Kaelin was not racist.
Howard said Aaron Lewis of Staind was upset with the crowd for getting loud so he yelled out that he doesn't speak Spanish because he's American. He asked if that's racist and played the clip. Howard asked if that's racist. Robin asked where he is. Robin said that's not racist. She said he's American. Howard said if you say that and the woman at the counter is speaking broken English and you tell her to say something is that racist. Robin said it is but what Aaron said is not racist. Howard agreed.
Howard played another clip of a basketball announcer saying a basketball player looked like King Kong. He played a clip of the guy saying that the guy was like King Kong at the end of the game. Robin said that's racist. Howard said he thinks so too. He said he was trying to be open minded about it. He said it is racist.
Howard said this is the final one. He said this is an announcer who was calling a high school hockey tournament and used the phrase ''lynching ropes.'' Robin said they don't even need to play the clip. Howard played it anyway. In the clip the guy used that term saying the fans getting the lynching ropes out. Robin said she doesn't know what that is. Howard said he thinks it's racist. Robin said she's not sure what he's talking about. Howard said the anchor came on later in the day and apologized for it. Howard had that clip too where they apologized for using that term.
Howard said the guy was probably wondering why they had to apologize because no black people are watching hockey.
Howard said he had a debate in his head during all of those clips. He said Robin came up with an answer pretty quickly.
Howard said Jimmy Kimmel said to him that Sirius should get the app on TV so they can watch it. Howard said it is on TV. Robin said she had it on her TV. She said she thought everyone knew. Howard said he didn't even know. Robin said it is very cool.
Howard said they're going to be in L.A. next week and they're going to be on at 8am in L.A. so they will start the show at 11 there on the east coast. He said it'll repeat all day if you miss it live.
Howard said all of the guys are figuring out what they're going to do in California. He said they were all going to go to Largo but they found out what was supposed to be cool there and now no one wants to go. Howard said they found out the band is The Good Ones and they're Rawandan refugees who perform acoustic songs. He played some of what they play. Howard said no one signed up to go to Largo for that. He said all of the guys bombed out on that one.
Robin said she thought that the cool factor gets reduced when they all show up. Howard said that's right. He asked if Robin wants to go. Robin said she has to be ready for work. Howard said she needs to rest.
Howard took a call from Rocky Pendergast who was at Largo watching the Rawandan group performing. Howard spent a minute with Rocky who ended up dying because it was too much excitement to take.
Howard said the guys are not going to Largo. Robin said it makes more room for people who actually care.
Howard said the guys called her again and this time they called and had Elephant Boy call as the head of the Helen Keller fan club. Howard played the call and Elephant Boy told her that it came to his attention that she made some offensive comments about Helen Keller. Cathi asked him to give her the comments. Elephant Boy said he can play it for her right now. They played the fake clip and Cathi said she doesn't think she said that. they had her saying other things about Helen and Cathi said she didn't say any of that. She cut Elephant Boy off and thanked him for calling in. Howard said she's so sweet she thanked Elephant Boy. Howard said Elephant Boy got into character and drooled everywhere.
Howard asked Sal if he did it or Richard. Jason said Chris and Shuli did the recording. Howard said they had their disabled family call Cathi. He said they told her they were going to protest her comments about Helen Keller. Howard played that clip where the guys called in with a computer voice telling her they were protesting her over her comments about Helen Keller. Cathi said she supports everyone who has a challenge. She asked how they can accuse anyone of such trash. She said how dare they make her wrong. She said they owe her an apology.
Howard said she's very polite. He said she even said Oh Dear when the protesters were dying. He said they'll just keep calling her. He said it must help her show. He said at least someone is calling in. He said he can't figure her out. They went to break after that.
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Howard said he isn't sure what kind of acting that is. He said he never took acting lessons so he was kind of winging it. He said he found if he listened to this it fucked him up. He said he tried to find the song the B.B. King part came from and the song isn't that sad. He said it's just this one part of the song in this song that gets to him.
Howard said this song reminds him of Bruce Hornsby. He said it makes him think of that guy. Fred said the original song was ''How Blue Can You Get.'' He played some of that for Howard. Howard said Fred loves B.B. King. Fred said he did. He said he was one of the three Kings. Howard let the song play a little bit and got to the part that the Primitive Radio Gods played in their song. Howard asked why he's downhearted. Fred said the woman is a bitch who fucked with him. He said listen to the lyrics.
Howard said that song doesn't move him. He had Fred cut it off. He said he likes it in the other song.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what kind of baby wipes he uses these days. Howard said he uses a Toto toilet now. He said he uses toilet paper to dab dry. The caller said he uses baby wipes every day. Howard said he uses them when he's on the road. He said he likes Pampers. Robin laughed. Howard said he pokes around in there to pull things out. The caller laughed. Howard said he pokes his finger up there to pull out a plumb. The caller said that's good to know.
The caller asked why he uses Metamucil. He said they have additives in there. Howard said his doctor told him to use it. He said Dr. Agus is the guy. The caller suggested some other things. Howard said the Metamucil stuff is actually good so don't mess this up for him.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said they trapped him into that stuff yesterday. He said it's his fault. He said his wife was upset at him. He said they were talking to her at work about what he said. Howard said he took a beating in the email. He asked if he wants to hear it. King said he can take it. Howard said one guy wants him to call him Black Bobo. King said that's stupid. Howard said he might have to call him that. King said don't do that to him. Howard said the idea that he trapped him is wrong. He said they answered the phone and he said he thinks women should like their beatings. King said he said yes but what he meant was that there are women out there who like everything about their man. He said he accepts that.
Howard read some email about King of All Blacks that he got yesterday. He read through some of the negative comments about him. King said women getting beat up isn't funny or amusing. He said he wonders why women stay with the men who beat them. He said that's what he was talking about yesterday.
Howard read more feedback about King and they brought up his wife beating. King said he doesn't do that anymore. He asked if he was an addict and he's not taking drugs now, is he an addict. Robin said yes. She said they say if you're an addict then you're always an addict. King said that's just because they want you to buy into that stuff.
Howard read some more feedback and had a lovely email from Chris Brown who said ''Finally, someone who gets it.'' King said Chris Brown isn't a wife beater. He said he had one time that he did something. Howard said Oscar Pistroius wrote in too. King said all that matters is what Howard thinks. He asked what he thinks about him personally. Howard said he's interesting but there are times he is funny and sometimes he goes horribly wrong. King said that today is his anniversary today. Howard said he thinks he's at his best when he's not shticky and he calls in with something honest to say. He said when he forces it he's not as good. King said he doesn't look at it like forcing it. He said he has an opinion and he calls up with it. He said he's also retired and he's not doing anything but bullshit around all day. He said he thanks his parents for setting him up. He said he's on Cameo now too. Howard said he has to go. He asked why he has to say he's on Cameo. He said he's doing commercials for that dumb fucking Cameo. King asked if he has ever called to plug anything. Gary said he has done that a lot in the past. He said he used to call in with the male enhancement stuff. King said the FDA shut that down.
Howard said King had to call in with a plug. He said most of the listeners are disgusted by the guy. He said they should change his name to Black Bobo.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that guy is a fucking schmuck. He said anyone who beats a woman is a piece of shit. Howard said he agrees.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he and his wife go around the house calling each other Gary. He said he'd like to hear Fred play some of those clips. Howard said he got all garbled there. The caller said he's on a cell phone. He said he doesn't have a home phone anymore. Howard said he has one and he wishes everyone did. Fred played some Richard Simmons drops where he was yelling out for Gary. The caller thanked Fred for that. He asked if he has heard any news about Richard. Howard said he hasn't.
Howard said they have a whole catalog of Richard clips. Fred said he has to find them. He said he might have to vamp for a little bit. Fred said he's not finding them as rapidly as he'd like.
Howard said in another clip Bam talked about how he carries cash around with him. He had $17,000 in cash with him in a box.
Howard said there's something about people who go crazy and wallets. Robin said money seems to be an issue. Howard said Bam also talked about a language he created from symbols. He said he likes that he's the only one who knows the language. Howard said this one got him concerned. Howard played a clip of Bam talking about this Bam Language. Bam said if you're a serial killer you might want to know this language so you can keep a diary that no one can read. Robin said this is almost as good as the celebrity boxing stuff.
Howard said then this kid Aaron Carter came to his attention. He said he put a tattoo of Rihanna on his face. He said that is wild. He said maybe he's mental. He said now he's accusing family members of rape and they have restraining orders against him. He said it's all very hard to follow. He said at the very least getting a face tattoo should be treated as seriously as sexual reassignment. He said they should have to consult people on this.
Howard said he was trying to think about who else gets face tattoos. He said Mike Tyson and that Takashi 69 guy got them. He said Charles Manson too. He said you never see a Greta Thunberg getting face tattoos. He said Post Malone has them too. He said he'd never do anything like that. Robin said you're never going to get an office job with that. Howard said if he's a criminal he'd never do it because they can identify you so easily. He said police tend to look at you sideways.
Howard said Aaron Carter is a pop star who had drug problems. He said he went on this show The Doctors to talk about that. He played some audio of Aaron talking about all of his problems. He rattled off a list of drugs he was on. Howard asked what he was on. Robin said these are so new that she doesn't know them. Howard asked if they should isolate them and go over each one. He replayed the clip and talked about the drugs he's on like Xanax. JD said he's taken that. He said it's an anti-anxiety thing. He said he takes it when he needs it. Howard asked how he got that. JD said he was dealing with anxiety for a while so he was prescribed it by a doctor. Howard asked how you get it. Robin said doctors can prescribe anything. Howard asked if he got it after the subway incident. JD said he got on it after he got off of Zoloft.
Howard asked JD why he was on the subway without his security detail. JD said they were off that day. JD said he had trouble coming to work for a while. Howard said he told him to get his shit together or that $10 a day is going to dry up.
Howard said JD was on that medication that was recalled. JD said he had high blood pressure so he was on that. He said it's come down after taking that and losing some weight. JD said he checked out his medication and it wasn't under the recall. He stammered a bit so Fred and Howard goofed on him about that.
Howard asked what everyone else is on there. He asked if everyone is on medication. Fred said he's not on anything. Howard asked if Richard is on anything. Gary said Brent and Shuli aren't on anything. He said Benjy isn't either. Richard said he's not on anything. Howard said it's nice to know that some people don't need anything. Gary said Sal said he wasn't on anything but then they asked again and he said he's on 3 things. Sal said he's on a cholesterol medication and a beta blocker for his essential tremors.
Gary asked if Howard saw Sal's glasses. Sal said they're called thin optics. He said they don't have arms. He said they slip into his phone.
Howard got back to Aaron Carter and played the medication list. Gary had looked it up and this one was for depression and other things. Howard said he's on a lot of shit. Gary said one of them is for allergies.
Howard said Aaron revealed he was addicted to huffing. He played a clip of him talking about that. He said he didn't get into it until he was about 23 after doing Dancing with the Stars. Robin said that's when it happens.
Howard said Aaron didn't just talk about his own problems. He had his mom on to talk about her problems. Howard said he kept interrupting and asking questions like he was one of the doctors. Howard played a clip of him telling her to just get into it and tell the truth. She said she's a server. Aaron said she's a server after giving up her life for her kids. She said she's not ashamed of that. Aaron said he is. Aaron kept asking questions and interrupting his mother. Howard said the kid is really annoying.
Howard asked what's going on there. Robin said he's hyperactive. Howard said he seemed to want to be a doctor. Robin said he wanted her to just spit it out. Howard said that guy should not be allowed to get a face tattoo. He said he has a good face. He said he has abs too. He said he's in good shape. He said he's thinking about going crazy so he can get into shape.
Howard said the tattoo is Rihanna as Medusa. He said it's kind of sad. He said it wasn't kind of sad, it was just sad.
Apples asked who he thinks is going to come out the best and worst on the trip. Howard said he won't have time to monitor them. Gary said he can promise that everyone is being watched. He said they've all been told this is a work trip and not a party trip. Howard said Gary has it under control. He asked who is going to watch Gary. Gary said don't worry, there's someone for that.
Apples asked if Ronnie will smoke weed out there. Howard said he's not sure that he smokes. Howard asked if anyone has plans for L.A. Gary said everyone was told not to make plans. He said Sal has a birthday party on Tuesday at 5 o'clock. Apples asked if he can come smoke weed with JD. Howard said no and hung up.
Robin said there's a SiriusXM party out there. Gary said he's going to that. He said it's to show off the new studios. Howard said he doesn't think they give a shit about the studios. Gary said they have been going to a dump and this is no longer a dump out there. Howard said that makes sense. He asked Gary what he's going to do out there. Gary said when there are publicists around it's good to be seen.
Howard said Brent has a lock down on two women out there that he's going to fuck. He said he convinced him that going on a date is a little much. He said he just gave his opinion on that.
Shuli came in and said that he's going to be flying out with Brent and Brent is annoyed by everything. Howard said his fear is that Brent is going to go out there and strike out and Katelyn is going to score. He said that Brent is going to freak out. Brent said he's not going to freak out. Howard asked how much of a lock down he has. Brent said one girl is 100 percent. He said she had met him before and she asked if he wanted to hook up. He said he's going to meet her out somewhere first.
Robin asked if the guys with Katelyn are going to meet out. Brent said they are. He said they'll go back to the apartment after.
Howard asked if this woman is hot. Brent said she is. He said she looks really good. Shuli asked if they are sharing rooms. Brent said they are not. He said he's not doing that. Howard said Shuli can leave for a few hours. Shuli said he can put a thing on the door knob. Brent said he doesn't want to share a room. He said he has him on the flight with him too. He said he has Chris Wilding on the flight with him too. Shuli said he's so crazy he needs 2 people to follow him out there.
Howard said he heard Will is on the flight too. Will said they need someone to cover the bathroom too. Shuli said they asked what he'll be doing out there. Brent said the first thing is to find a dispensary. He said that's what he's going to be doing.
Howard asked Brent what he's going to get out there. Brent said he's going to get flowers and some edibles. Brent said he has smoked with Ronnie in the past. He said there's one scenario where he laughs for about 2 hours. He said he didn't know what he was laughing at. He said the other time was when he had a bad time on it after taking edibles. He said he asked him to not call an ambulance unless he stops breathing.
Brent said he heard Shuli gave Ronnie too much. Shuli said he didn't give him anything. He said Ronnie took it on his own. He said all he does is fuck with Ronnie but he looked at him and said ''I can't feel my fucking face dude.''
Brent said you should not give someone anything like that if you're a regular. Howard said he's worried about Brent. He said he agrees with Shuli on that. He said he might pass out. Shuli said Joey Boots used to pass out too.
Howard said some song parodies came in about the trip. He said this is El Chapo wanting to fuck Brent's wife while he's away. He played that bit that Ham Hands Bill did as El Chapo. Howard said 4 song parody guys wrote a song about how they want to fuck Brent's wife. He played that song where the four guys including Eli Braden, Psych, Little Mikey and Daniel Mendelson all sang about fucking Katelyn.
Howard said four of those guys got together like a super group. Brent said that's an honor. He said they're Stern Show legends. He said this is up to Katelyn by the way. He said they'd ave to contact her. He said he won't be helping out with that.
Brent pointed out that Shuli has fake choppers now. Shuli said he got veneers. Howard took a look. He said Shuli used to be a 5 and now he's a 7. Shuli thanked him for that.
Shuli asked if Brent and his wife talk about who they're going to fuck. Brent said they do. He said they talk about what the other one is going to do. Howard asked what he tells her. Brent said he tells her he's excited about her getting some strange dick. Shuli asked what planet this is.
Howard asked Chris to come in to talk about what he heard. Brent said they went out to a bar with Chris. He said it's a hard rock metal bar. Howard asked what Chris heard. Chris said they're like newlyweds. He said they get along great. Howard said that's because she's going to be single soon.
Chris said they get all worked up when they're out. He said Katelyn was grinding into him. He said that it's a couple's activity. Brent said it's a cool experiment. Shuli asked if they might be holding back something. Brent said they talk about everything. He said they tell each other everything. Robin asked how he knows. She said she doesn't like this. She said they should talk about his marriage. Brent said that everyone else thinks they have a great marriage. Robin said that you can get into a person and rely on that person and have that person rely on you and none of this other stuff is going on. Brent said they do all of that. Howard said Brent is getting into a person but it's just not his wife.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thought the whole thing about swinging is watching the other person having sex. Brent said that is part of it but this is something different.
Howard said he has to jack off once in a while in his marriage. He said when she's not busy she gets ''the gift of me.''
Howard said Black Bobo is on the phone. King of All Blacks was on the line so Howard let him ask a question. King asked why Katelyn has to have sex while Brent's gone. Brent said that it's her life and he's not the boss of her. King asked what will happen if she clicks with the guy's personality. Brent said that will not happen. He said these guys can't handle her. Brent said the guys all know what the rules are. Robin asked if he has met people. She said he acts like everyone adheres to these rules. Howard said he heard that Brent is bragging that he's a single man out in L.A. Brent said he never said that. He said he is allowed to go out there and do stuff.
King asked if Brent gets crippled will his wife get to fuck guys while taking care of him. Brent said that's a stupid question.
Shuli asked if there is anything off limits for Katelyn while he's away. Brent said they have no overnight's. Howard said he must have come up with that. Brent said that he doesn't remember. Howard asked what constitutes an overnight. He said if he leaves at 5 in the morning then that's an overnight. Brent said that's not happening. Howard asked why stop the fun at one fuck. Brent said sleeping over is a whole other thing.
Howard said it's funny that no one thought of Benjy being single going out there. Gary said he won't be alone, he's bringing his dog. Howard sounded shocked by that.
Shuli asked if Katelyn gets pregnant when the condom breaks will she keep the baby. Brent said she's on the pill and no. Chris asked if she could be with two guys at once while he's gone. Brent said not while he's gone. He said he has to be there. He said he'd probably be one of the two if she does that.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said this is the biggest mind fuck. He said he's not thinking clearly. He asked what happens if things get out of hand. He said he can't fathom this. Howard said he agrees with him on this. Brent said he was an amateur boxer so good luck with that.
Howard took a call from Wolfie who said he thought Chris was going to be covering Katelyn. Howard asked if Wolfie can cover her. Brent said that they have friends for her to call if anything goes wrong. Wolfie said it would be very clinical. Brent said no. He said they already have it covered. He said the guys she's with can't be covered. He said they don't want to be on radio.
Wolfie said they should tape the sex so they can hear if it's louder than it is with Brent. Brent said they're not doing that.
Wolfie said they just want to hear her. Howard said he thinks Wolfie wants to fuck his wife. Howard said he tried, sorry. Brent told him to go back to covering bikers and bears.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks this is going to break. He said this marriage can't last. He said he's being taken along for a ride. Howard said he likes that Beth is just into him. He said that she wants him exclusively. He said he doesn't want other guys kissing her. He said that would make him mental. Brent said he has a different view of the world. Robin said they just have some trouble understanding Brent's view of the world.
Howard asked if Brent and Benjy are going to have a competition to pick up girls. Brent said they are. Shuli said that Benjy has a good personality for that. He said he might do okay. Howard asked who Robin thinks will win that one. Robin said that's tough. Shuli said they'll be out and Brent will be showing off his tattoos. He said if you approach the wrong girl with that look... Howard asked what constitutes picking up a girl. Shuli said getting a number.
Howard took a call from fake Katelyn who was fucking a guy and wondering if she can swallow. She said she feels rude not swallowing. Brent told her to try another joke. Howard asked who is better in bed. Fake Katelyn asked Brent what she's allowed to say. Brent said that's not right. Howard said they're just kidding around in the back room. Shuli said that was clearly a farcical call.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if there's a limit on the number of people they can be with. Brent said that she's going to meet up with 2 guys on two different days. Howard said it's one man at a time. Shuli asked if she can find another guy and not tell him. Brent said she said she will let him know.
Benjy was in the studio and started talking without Howard knowing he was there. They ended up talking about the contest he and Brent are going to have. Howard said Benjy thinks he's better than Brent. Brent said he can tell by how much he's getting laid. Howard asked when he got laid last. Benjy laughed. He said if he doesn't give a fuck and just goes for it then he'll do great.
Howard said they can't say they're part of a contest. He said that they will confirm that the number was real too. Howard said the guys are going to get exit interviews with the girls to find out if it was a real number. Brent said he's going into that to do well. He said he's not going to fuck around.
Howard said they can have a contest to see who can hook up or just get numbers. He said he feels kind of bad about this contest. Robin said that's their business. Howard asked how you track all of that.
Howard said he will say that Benjy went on a date and when the woman met him she said she had to go because her son was in a car accident the day before. Howard said that's a bad meeting.
Brent said Benjy was trying to get laid by helping a woman in a Bodega clean up every night. Howard said he hopes that they know they can't use chloroform on these women.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said they have to have some sort of quality control. He said anyone can get numbers. Howard asked how they do that. Benjy said how about a hand job on the spot. He said that or a grope. Howard asked if Benjy thinks he can get a hand job at a bar. Ralph said you can't do that. Howard said they will do the exit interview thing.
Howard asked Robin who is more attractive, Benjy or Brent. Robin said women judge things differently than men. She said that she'd go with Benjy to have a better time. She said he's charming and funny and he can be sensitive. Brent asked if he can't be those things. Robin said she doesn't get that feeling.
Howard said Robin didn't even let Benjy visit her in the hospital when she was sick. Benjy laughed. He said he tried to get up there but she kept turning him down and telling him to try the next day. Robin said she thinks that everyone else got to visit her. Howard said Benjy was the only one banned. Robin said Ralph was there. Howard said Artie was there. He didn't even work on the show at the time. He said Benjy was the only one banned.
Howard said there were strangers in that room. Benjy said she had fans in there. Ralph asked if she can't deal with Benjy. Robin said she can.
Benjy said when they had the speed dating game he was the only one to beat him. Howard said there are bad days when Benjy is all blotchy. He said today is one of those days.
Howard asked Fred who he thinks is going to win this contest. Fred said he's going with Benjy. Ralph said he thinks Benjy might get more numbers but Brent will get quality. Howard said he doesn't care about quality. Brent said that if someone gets a fake number that doesn't count. Benjy asked if he can say he was in Sharknado. Howard said sure but he's not sure that would help. Howard said you can say anything but not that you're in a contest to get numbers.
Howard said he has to stick to the spirit of the contest and not tell them why they're doing it. He said he can tell her he was in Sharknado. Brent said he'll make it a point to say he was not in Sharknado. Robin said Brent always brags that he's going to win something and he ends up losing. Brent said he's 2 and 2. He said he did win the Prostate Karaoke and the NewlyWet Game.
Ralph said Brent is going to win. He said if Benjy is under time constraints he's going to fuck it up. He said he'll show up late.
Howard asked what's wrong with Benjy bringing his dog with him to L.A. Benjy said she's a service dog. Howard said don't bring the dog. He said it stresses the dog. Brent said that he's giving her to Elisa while he's in L.A. Brent said it's not a service dog if he doesn't have to be with it all the time. Benjy said that she'll be within a couple of miles of him that way. Benjy said there are no licenses for service dogs. He said it's all fake. He said he's going to take the dog with him. Brent asked if they can take bets on if he makes his flight. He said he's saying no.
Ralph said he's going to bet on Brent winning this contest against Benjy. He said Benjy will be stuck on the plane with his dog. Howard said he wants in on the action. He said he loves betting Ralph because he can't take his money.
Shuli said he's taking Brent for 50 bucks. Robin bet him on that. Howard said don't let him down Benjy. Benjy thanked him for picking him. He said he's not clear on the contest though. Brent said it's getting a phone number.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Brent's wife is the embodiment of a whore. He said Brent keeps defending her but that's what she is. Brent said he feels for women who get this. He said that's not fair. Howard asked if Brent is a whore too. Brent said this is the guy's own insecurity. The caller said she's fucking everything that walks. Brent said that's not it at all.
Howard took a call from the real Black Bobo who asked when it's okay to steal his name. He said he's Black Bobo. Robin said they gave that name to King of All Blacks. Black Bobo asked if Brent would let his wife fuck a black guy with an 11 inch cock. Brent said it's all up to her. He said that she likes guys who are 6-8 inches. He said she probably wouldn't want an 11 inch cock. Black Bobo said that he has 11 inches. He said he pulled it out once and the woman said ''Oh fuck no!'' He said his dick has hit the water on occasion. Howard said his never has. He said way to go real Black Bobo.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Brent thinks that they're immune to the connection people have when they have sex. Brent said he doesn't think so. He said he knows that. Howard said it could happen. He said when people are intimate anything can happen. Benjy said even more so with a woman. Howard said she's not a robot. Brent said when she has sex when she's done she's done. He said she's like a dude that way.
Robin asked if Katelyn can only do the guy's once. Brent said that's what's scheduled. He said if they have sex twice that's fine but they can't sleep in bed overnight. Robin asked if she can see the guy twice in that week. Brent said it's up to her.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if anyone has thought about Katelyn's safety in this. Brent said he has. He said that he has safeguards there. He said he won't say what they are but he has things set up. He said they know people. The caller said it doesn't matter if they gag her or something. Brent said good luck with that with Katelyn. The caller said he's putting her life in that situation. Brent said he's not putting her in any situation. He said it's her choice. He said it's not the Taliban. Brent said she has people she can call if things go wrong. He said they may not like this. He said they're giving it a try.
Howard said they're all in this experiment with Brent and Katelyn. He said Shuli will be keeping an eye on Brent. He said Benjy will do the contest with Brent out in L.A. Howard said he has a song parody about Brent and Katelyn. He played that and wrapped up with everyone. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard said they have to get to news. He played a song parody for Robin. He gave that one a ''Wow'' and said that was some production. He said they're getting more and more sophisticated.
Robin started her news saying today is a big day because a new law allows teachers to carry guns in classrooms in Florida. Robin said the largest districts have opted out of that. Robin read that teachers who do carry have to do a psychological evaluation. Howard said most people don't have the time or patience to learn to use a gun. He said it takes a tremendous amount of practice. He said it's not an easy thing to learn and it's very expensive to buy bullets. He said we have to be careful with the people who are handling guns. Howard said maybe just one way in and one way out of a school with a metal detector. Robin said it has to be all day long. Howard said that seems reasonable to him.
Robin read a story about a woman in Texas who shot and killed a man she said she thought was an intruder but it was in his apartment, not her's. Robin said they found her guilty yesterday in her case. Robin said she wondered how she ended up in the wrong apartment. Robin said it turns out she was doing some texting with a guy she was having an affair with when she was going to her apartment. Howard did a live commercial read and took another break after that.
After the break Howard came right back and took a call from a guy who asked if he was in his truck with Ronnie driving. Howard said he was in Tennessee last week. He said from what he was told Ronnie clipped a mailbox with the truck on that day and Howard apparently didn't know. Howard asked Ronnie if that's true. Ronnie came in and said that he didn't hit a mailbox in Flushing. Ronnie said that he works for the body shop at he Dodge dealership. The caller said he's an electrician. Howard asked how he knows about this. The caller, Cane, said someone who was in the auto collision place saw it. Ronnie said these people call up with bullshit stories. He said he talked about this kind of stuff yesterday. Ronnie said he scratched the truck by his house in his own driveway. Howard asked how he did that. Ronnie said he misjudges something. Howard said that's not like him. Ronnie said he screwed up. He told the guy to stick his finger in an outlet and electrocute himself. Ronnie said he's sick of people who don't get their stories straight. He said they're a bunch of fucking morons.
Howard asked Ronnie what happened. Ronnie said he was in his driveway. He said he has a free standing mailbox. He said he got distracted backing up by himself. He said he misjudges that. Howard said this is not like you. Ronnie said then you get a fucking moron like this on the phone. Howard said this is what it is to be a celebrity. Ronnie said he didn't kiss that woman either. He said it's just like this moron. He said he gets second hand information. Howard said the guy was right and he hit a mailbox. Ronnie said he hit his own mailbox. Howard said it was an accident. He said the guy is concerned for Ronnie. Ronnie said it happened 6 weeks ago. He said he didn't even tell Howard about it. He said the scratch is on the side Howard sees. Howard said he didn't even see it. Ronnie said it was a stupid mistake and that's it.
Howard said this guy came right to the show about it. Ronnie said it wasn't last Friday. Howard said according to AARP many seniors exhibit warning signs when they misjudge things like this. Ronnie said he was just on a race track driving a Ferrari recently. He said he's fine. Howard said he does support whistle blowers. Ronnie also told the guy that he owns the fucking truck and it's not Howard's. Ronnie told the guy to go screw in a light bulb.
Howard asked if they buffed out the scratch. Ronnie said they did. He said it was on the said of the car. He said they put some touch up paint on it. He said that's it. He said he didn't get into a major accident. Cane said he just said it was an accident. Ronnie said it wasn't in Flushing either. He said he has to get the facts right. Howard said he has to thank Cane for calling in with the story. Howard asked if that's his first name. Cane said it's his last name.
Howard asked if Ronnie has more insults for the electrician. Ronnie said he's done. Ronnie Puppet came out and had a few. Howard asked what Robin makes of this. Robin said they're blowing this out of proportion. Ronnie said just this guy is. Howard asked if it was at night. Ronnie said it was during the day. Howard said maybe the tint in his sunglasses got to him. Ronnie said not at all. He said he was going forward and it hit the back of the car. Howard said he's shocked. Ronnie said if you saw his driveway you'd understand. Howard asked why his driveway is so complicated. Ronnie said his driveway comes to a point and that's where the mailbox is. He said he was pulling out and stayed too far to the right. Howard said he must have been backed in then. Ronnie said he always backs in.
Howard asked if this is why he's been so angry lately. He said that's what he heard from someone out there. Ronnie said Chris has major issues himself.
Howard asked Ronnie to wrap this up and go over it again. Ronnie said he was pulling out, didn't look and he hit the back of the car. Howard said he likes that this guy called in. He said he likes to hear about this stuff. Ronnie said this guy was wrong about the details.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Ronnie is so typical of a child. He said he has a 2 and 4 year old who do the same thing as Ronnie. He said the first thing he says is that he didn't hit a mailbox. Ronnie said he didn't say he didn't hit a mailbox. He said he didn't get into a big accident. He said that's what he said. The caller said he can't believe he got this far in life.
Howard took a call from Apples who said he loves Ronnie but is Howard afraid that he's driving him. Ronnie said he has already said he's leaving soon enough. He said he won't have to worry about being in the car with him. Howard said he could get a PO Box and get rid of the mailbox. Apples said how about getting a Tesla that drives itself. Ronnie said he doesn't want that.
Ronnie said he's done on December 31, 2020. He said he was already looking at places out in Vegas when they were out there. He said Stephanie has a job now so nothing is changing for now. He said they won't have to hear about this after that. Howard said Ronnie isn't leaving. Ronnie said you'll see. He said he's trying to figure out where to go but he's done there at the end of next year. He said he doesn't know what the plans are for them there. Robin said Ronnie hasn't known for 20 years. Ronnie said he's been doing this for 35 years.
Howard said this is Ronnie's farewell tour just like Cher. Howard thanked Cane for calling in. Cane said Brent's wife is going to be open and honest until she finds someone she likes and then it's all over. Howard said that's just speculation. He let that guy go and said he's kind of upset that Ronnie kept this from him. Ronnie said he didn't keep it from him. Howard asked if he has any other secrets. Ronnie said not yet. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Bagel Boss guy who didn't show up for his fight over the weekend. Robin said now he's in trouble again. Robin said Chris Morgan is his name and he was arrested on pot possession charges on Monday. Robin said he was scheduled to box Screech on Saturday and didn't show up. Robin said he may face legal action over that as well. Howard said in all seriousness he's bothered by his behavior not showing up for that boxing match. He said Damon seemed straight with the guy. Robin said that's why he may face charges over that. Howard said he's starting to think he might be a bit of an asshole. He said he thought he was going to show up. He said he's not sure why he would do that to Damon. He said the only guy he really fucked up was Damon. Howard said he predicts a face tattoo for Bagel Boss guy next.
Robin said Oprah wants to be the one to select the person to run for President. Robin said she wants Bob Iger to run. Howard said he saw that. He said he could probably get it after Oprah anoints him. He said there's nothing better when she does that. Robin had some audio of Oprah talking about how she would be canvassing for Bob if he was running. Howard said he has talked to Bob about becoming a senator. He said everyone wants him to run. Robin said Iger says he has talked to President Obama about it and he told him he already has the better job.
Robin read a story about how the OK symbol is being called a white power symbol. Howard said he uses it all the time. Robin said an actor in a costume at Disney was using it. Robin said he was posing for pictures and flashed it and now he's been fired by Disney. Robin said she just learned that this OK symbol has changed. Howard said he is going to be flashing it. He said he's not buying into it. He said it's the OK symbol.
Robin read a story about the father of Beyonce announcing that he has been diagnosed with cancer. Robin said he was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had some audio of him talking about that during an interview. The guy said he had dots of blood on his shirt and he went to get checked out and they found the breast cancer. Howard asked when Jon Hen last had a mammogram. He didn't get an answer. Robin had more clips of Beyonce's father talking about his cancer. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Bernie Sanders having some chest discomfort earlier this week. Robin said he had two stents inserted when they found he had a blockage. Robin said Bernie is resting now and they will be suspending campaigning for now. Howard asked if he's OK and gave the hand signal. Robin told him not to do that.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik who asked who a better driver is now, him or Ronnie. Robin said he had two accidents already. Howard said Ronnie has been driving for over 40 years. He said Erik has been driving for a day and hit 2 cars. Ronnie hit a mailbox once in 40 years.
Howard said Ivanka Trump is there. He had her come in to say hello. He said she's always dressed perfectly. Ivanka had him ask why she's there. Howard asked and she responded with ''Why am I anywhere?'' Howard asked Ivanka if she's concerned about what's going on with the whistle blower right now. Ivanka said she loves whistle blowers. She said they whistle at her when she walks by the construction sites. She said it makes her feel good. Howard asked if a lot of guys whistle at her. Ivanka said they do. She asked what else they're supposed to do. Howard spent a few more minutes with fake Ivanka before letting her go. She played bongos with her nips before she left.
Robin read a story about a heavy metal group taking Greta Thunberg's ''How dare you!'' and making a song out of it. Robin had some audio of that for Howard to play. Robin said that's terrible.
Robin read a story about Hillary Clinton and what she says the gutsiest thing she's ever done is. Howard said he thinks it's staying with her husband. Robin had some audio for Howard to play had Hillary said it was staying with her husband and running for president. Robin said he was right. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a Virginia teacher who lost his job for not using the proper pronoun with a student. Robin said he's fighting the firing saying that it violates his religious beliefs. Robin said she thinks he's going to lose his case. Robin said just call people what they want to be.
Robin read a story about Darryl Strawberry and how he was on a show the other day. Robin said Darryl and his wife have been doing a series of shows based on relationships. Robin had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about Governor Matt Bevin of Kentucky is encouraging students to participate in bring their bible to school day. Howard said these people don't get that there's supposed to be a separation there. Robin had some audio of the guy talking about what kids should be doing with their bibles. Howard said how about keeping the schools pure and keep god out of it.
Robin read a story about Demi Lovato getting baptized in the Jordan river. Robin said she wrote about this on social media.
Robin read a story about Stacey Dash being bailed out of jail by her husband. Robin said it was $500 to bail her out. Howard said how about Stacey vs Bagel Boss guy in a boxing match. He said he thinks he'd show up for that.
Robin said people are concerned for President Trump's tweets. Robin said there might be people who are going to be more upset about what goes on behind the scenes. Robin said there's a book called Border Wars coming out that has some quotes from Trump from back in March when he was suggesting shooting migrants in the leg to slow them down and things like that.
Robin read a story about a woman who just went off the other day in a racial tirade. Robin said it was caught on video. She had the audio for Howard to play. She had the video too. Howard found it and played it. It was a woman yelling the N-word at a CVS store in California. She was saying she hates N-words in the clip. Robin said this woman just walked in and started yelling this. Howard said even Mel Gibson was upset by that. Gary said this woman claims she was drunk but you know that's in you if it comes out. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Today's show was over around 11:25am.
Today's show was over around 11:15am.