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Howard and the guys were back live this morning. He started the show talking about being back from a 2 week vacation. He said this vacation was really good for him. He said he was burnt out. Howard said when he went on vacation it was after the book promotion. He said it may have tipped him over the edge. He said he can barely get through the show and he had book promotion to do. He said he was just hurting. He said he had pain and he was a mess so he just slept for 2 weeks. He said the alarm went off this morning and all of the positive energy was gone.
Robin said he's headed in the direction of his parents. Howard said he really is. He said everything throws his mother now. He said his dad just turned 96. He said today is Beth's birthday. He said his dad's birthday was on July 11th. He said he went to visit them but not on that day so he still had to call. He said he had to wish it to his mother who had to pass it on to his dad. He said his mother got a cold and she was acting like it was the end of the world.
Howard went into his impression of his mother talking about having this cold and a sore throat. He said he told her to rest even though there's no way for her to rest more than she does. He said he's not sure how the cold even found her. He said his mother is hiding from death. He said if she has to go somewhere it's a catastrophe. He did his impression of his mother talking about how tough it is to get around the city if she has to go there. He said she used to be a Big Apple booster but not anymore. He said she was talking about their 2 hour trip into the city and how much she had to suffer.
Howard said his mother was asking him to make a call for her because she had no voice but she was talking to him. He said she was asking him to please make the call. Robin asked who he had to call. Howard said she had to call her doctor but she could have called him herself. He said he wanted to scream at this cold. He said it just makes his life hard. He said he thought she didn't want him calling to ask if she's okay. He said his mother called Beth and asked if there was something wrong with him when he didn't call to ask if she was okay. He said he told her he didn't call because she had a cold.
Howard said his mother said she was doing the best she can. He said then it was his dad's birthday on July 11th and that's a whole other story. He said his dad likes to go to Nathan's on his birthday. He said he's 96 and still wants to get out and go there. He said his dad is 96 years old. He said it's amazing. Robin agreed. Howard said he called his mom to wish his dad a happy birthday. He can't hear so he has to relay the message through her. He said his mom was talking about getting calls and cards from everywhere. He said it was just a card from him and Beth. He said that he asked who was calling and she said ''You are...'' He said it's just him.
Howard said his mother was telling him that his father wants to go to Nathan's for his birthday. He said she has to muster all of her energy to go there. He said he hired them an assistant to help them out with things like this. He said they made no plans for their old age so he's supporting them. He said he's not sure why. He said his dad is bankrupt so he has to take care of them. Howard said no one would be helping him out if the shoe was on the other foot. He said it's so weird that his dad yelled at him for being a failure but look at who failed in the end. Robin said he planned on Howard being his retirement. Howard said he's not sure why he doesn't ask why he didn't plan for himself. Howard said if it rains and he has no money then they're all screwed.
Howard said his mother had to muster up all of her energy to go out to Nathan's. He said they drove out there and they get there and it's closed. He did his impression of her calling and telling him this story. Howard said it wasn't even there anymore. He said it's some chicken place. Howard said there's a Nathan's that's near them so they went there and it was gone. He said they went to Dunkin' Donuts instead. He said they had egg salad. He said they didn't even end up at Nathan's.
Howard said his mother told some friend about the birthday celebration. He did his impression of her telling him this story. He said his mom was telling him about someone coming and knocking on their door. He said she opened the door and they ordered in Nathan's for them. They got hot dogs and fries. He said they had already had their lunch though. He said she was upset that they got the food because they can't eat it. He said he told her to just throw it out then. He said she said what a shame it was. Howard said she said people just give them problems.
Howard said they could have a nice life if they just ordered in. He said she was puzzled about how they do that. He said they're surrounded by restaurants and they could order in. He did his impression of his dad saying he shouldn't have said anything.
Howard said that was his dad's birthday. He said that was it. He said he's going to go see them this week. He said he's the cheer up squad. He said he'll have to bring one of those air horn things. Fred was playing the sound of happiness air horn clip. Howard said they have like 50,000 medications between the two of them. He said that his mom asks if she should just stop taking her medication. He said he has no idea. He said he's on the radio and he only knows how to talk.
Howard said people tell him he has good advice so he just tells people to call the doctor. He said he wants to go back home and go to bed. He said everything makes him nuts.
Howard said he got an invite to go to a David Crosby documentary (Remember My Name). He said he has a friend who does movie premieres and stuff. He said he was asked if he wanted to host a party at his house. He said they had this movie to play there and he was asked if he wanted to do it. He said he has one problem though. He said he doesn't like people in his house and his home theater is 50/50 if it'll work. He said that would be kind of fun to do if that stuff worked. He said it would be cool to have David Crosby in his house. He said he loves Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. He said they make beautiful music.
Howard said what was stuck in his head over vacation was this song. He snag some of it and Robin asked what that is. Howard said he's not even sure. He said there are guys who flirt with Beth right in front of him. He said no one flirts with him. He said that's other than Robin. Robin said Charlize Theron was flirting with him. Howard asked if he could get her. Robin said she's not sure about that. Howard asked her to call his wife and tell her that story.
Howard said he's not sure if Beth is still attracted to him. He said he has aged. Robin said she's crazy about him. Howard said he's not sure.
Howard said he got this call about the movie party thing. He said that he could have loaded up the party with some celebrity friends. He said he might have been able to get a few well known people there. He said then he's having a party at his house. He said it seemed kind of Great Gatsby kind of stuff. He said that's wild to him. He said if you told a 17 year old Howard that he was going to have David Crosby at his house some day that would be amazing. He said his home theater only works 50 percent of the time though.
Howard said they were going to watch a fight over at his house and his whole system crapped out. Howard said David Crosby doesn't have time for that. He said the guy isn't going to put up with that.
Howard said he has a TV with a designated room. He said he has one that doesn't work. He said he has backups to his backups so he has 3 remotes. He said what if David dies in his house from being so aggravated. He said imagine the guy comes to his house and he has to deal with that. He said he's one of the greatest guys. Howard said he was thinking if he had this party that he'd have to have the guy who designed the system there to make sure it works. He said he'll have a projectionist there even though he doesn't have a projector.
Howard said he said no to this party at his house. He said he would have loved to have David to his house but he wasn't going to risk it.
Howard said there was a screening of the film on Saturday night. He said he thought he would be the only one there. He the place was packed. He said he was shocked that anyone went out on a nice day like that. Robin said that's the problem with staying home all the time. Howard said he doesn't know people venture out.
Howard said it was a star studded event with David Crosby there. He said he had this interesting look. He said he was wearing overalls and it kind of works for him. He said David is 76 years old and it's hard to have a look. He said he saw Brooke Shields and Robert Downey Jr. there. He said that he asked David if Iron Man was in the movie. He said people thought that was funny.
Howard said Martha Stewart was there. He said she has a strange move. He said she came running over to him and she was saying she was listening to his interview with Snoop Dogg. He said then he realized she has a woman next to him videotaping him for her Instagram. He said he saw her at a movie screening years ago and the woman took pictures of him eating. He said he put his hand up to block this person. He said it's the weirdest thing. He said there has to be a celebrity rule about that. Robin said she thinks the rule is that every celebrity wants to be in the picture with other celebrities.
Howard said he was wondering if she wanted to talk to him or just have video to put up on her Instagram. He said he said to his wife that he was going to say something but she told him not to start in.
Howard said it's one thing to have Olivia Jade doing that with you but not Martha Stewart. He said that you have to be careful around her. He said it's odd to him that they complain about Paparazzi but then they record everything. Robin said that's her brand. She said it's all about lifestyle. Howard said he doesn't have a brand.
Howard said he's annoyed by celebrities that put out tons of products. He said then he gets jealous when they do have stuff out. He said he will die with integrity.
Howard said the David Crosby movie was good. He said he wants to give him a shout out. He said David gave a good speech there at the premiere. He said David was talking about how it wasn't a fluff piece. He said it put him in a bad light. He said he didn't shine it up and it was directed by Cameron Crowe. He said he has mad respect for that guy. Howard said he's not sure where this is going to show up. Robin said it will get into some theaters and on streaming. Howard said the movie is about David and his colorful life. Robin said she watched a bunch of documentaries about Freddie Mercury. She said you never really got to hear him talk. She said he was mostly singing. She said it was interesting to see him talk.
Howard said David is actually 77 years old. He said the guy said in the movie that he doesn't have a lot of time left and he just wants to live. Howard said he has 8 stents in his heart. He said they can't put anymore in there.
Howard said in the movie they mention that the rest of the band isn't talking to him anymore. He said he's actually in the movie. He said David was on their show and he said some shitty things about Daryl Hannah and then Neil Young came on and said he can't forgive him. He said then Graham Nash came on after David said his book was full of bullshit. He said that Graham just wondered who he was after that. Howard said David seems like such a good guy and he seems to undermine himself with his comments. He said he even talks about that in the movie. He said he talks about his daughter in the movie and he hopes she sees that. Robin said a movie isn't going to do it. She said if all of the songs don't do it then the movie won't.
Howard said he thinks the best song David ever wrote was ''Wooden Ships.'' He asked Fred if he agrees. Fred said it is. Howard said he should break into that song now. Fred said he kind of surprised him with that. He found the song a few seconds later. Howard had him play it. Howard talked up the song like he was back at WNBC. He let it play for a few seconds.
Howard said he loves all of the guys in the band. He said they're all great. He said he loves them and it's too bad they don't get along. Robin said you'd think they'd let bygones be bygones. Howard said he probably shouldn't say what happens at the end of the movie. Robin said if he does she'll ruin the Bachelor ending for him.
Howard said he and his wife are having a romantic dinner tonight. He said that they don't go out on Monday nights usually. He said that it's for her birthday though.
Howard had Fred play some more David Crosby songs. He had him play ''Deja Vu.'' Howard sang along with that a little bit. Howard said this is like Phish but less shitty. Howard said if you don't get the chills from this then you're dead. He said he remembers getting laid to this song. Robin said this is the soundtrack of her Air Force years.
Fred played some ''Almost Cut My Hair'' and Howard said he was there staring at the back of this guy's head and thinking about how he's a genius. Howard sang along with the song.
Howard said he was one of those douche bags who had really long hair. He said this song helped him get through that. He said he wasn't in a band. He said he was going for any look. He said it was a look that made women throw up.
Howard said David Crosby also wrote ''Eight Miles High.'' He had Fred play some of that. Howard said he's not sure where to see this movie. He said it's good. He said his wife was riveted by it. He said she isn't into the band like he is but she loved it.
Robin asked how this movie came about. Howard said David wanted to do something like this so Cameron told him he'd do it but he wanted it to be real and not a fluff piece. He said David agreed and they made it.
Howard said look at him at a movie premiere. Robin said it could have been at his house. Howard said that would have been tricky. Howard said this is such a great song. Howard said he has to take a break. He said it's their first show back after vacation. He said this is the part of the show where they talk about what they did over vacation. He said you can hear about his life and take part in it.
Howard said he went to some dinner parties and talked about how close to death everyone is. He went to break after that.
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Howard said how about this Jeffrey Epstein dude. Robin said she knows his brother. She said she has met him a few times. Howard asked who he is. Robin said she's not sure what his name is. She said she has met him a few times and he has a lot of money too. She said he's a philanthropist as well. She said he gives a lot of money away. She said he has nothing to do with his brother.
Howard asked who is more sexed up, Ronnie or Jeffrey Epstein. Robin said she thinks Epstein. Howard said Ronnie has sex toys and puts stuff in his ass. He said listen to what Epstein had in his home. He read about the stuff like a chess board with naked sculptures of people who work for him. Robin said that's something that he had to have made. Howard said he bets that guy is all proper when you meet him. Robin said she was reading about a party planner who was doing something at Mar-A-Lago and then they found out it was Trump and Epstein who were holding the party and said he can't bring 20 girls here. She said he was really skeeved out.
Howard said he found a guy hornier than Ronnie. He had Ronnie come in. He asked him if he would get a chess board of everyone there nude. Ronnie said he wouldn't do that. He said it's crazy. He said people are into a lot of sick shit.
Howard said he had a pair of fake boobs to squeeze in the bath tub. Ronnie said that's weird shit. Howard said he had them fixed to the wall in the shower. He said he's a horny guy. Ronnie said he'd never do that.
Howard said Epstein also had a life size doll hanging from a chandelier. Robin said the only thing she's ever seen like that is Hugh Hefner's house. Robin said he had statues of people fucking each other. Fred did his Ronnie impression talking about stuff that he's done.
Howard said Epstein would be freaked out by Ronnie and Ronnie would be freaked out by Jeffrey Epstein. Howard kept saying ''Werit'' like Ronnie pronounces ''weird.''
Howard said Epstein is pervier than Ronnie but he has more money than he does. He said you never know until you have that kind of money.
Howard said that Epstein stuff is one step from burying women in your basement. Robin said he used to be a school teacher in New York. She said he was sometimes a little weird when he'd go to school.
Howard asked how the Gold Rush rally went for Ronnie. Ronnie said they had a great time. He said he met up with the drivers in Chicago. He said there are a lot of cars in it. He said it's a bunch of rich guys with fancy cars. He said it costs like $25,000 a car to enter. He said you go from city to city like the Gumball Rally. Robin and Howard had no idea what that was. Howard asked if Ronnie and Kurt Busch were the only celebrities in it. Ronnie said he was just asked to be on Kurt's team. He said Kurt paid for everything. He said he was invited to drive. He said he drove one car and Kurt drove another. He said they had a team of drivers and cars. He said they had some normal guys driving.
Ronnie told Howard about some of the places he drove. He said he went out and drove for 5 days. He said they ended up in Austin, Texas. He said they started in Miami and went up toward Chicago where he met up. He said then wound up in Austin.
Howard said they say that Ronnie congratulated Kurt Busch at 3am on his Twitter. Ronnie said he was out late that night after doing a show at Governor's comedy club. He said he came out and did some material. Fred did his impression of Ronnie doing his stuff on stage. Howard asked how long it took him to say cunt up there. Ronnie said he doesn't think he did that.
Howard had Shuli come in to talk about that appearance. He said he heard he was evaluating women within seconds up there. Shuli came in and said that Ronnie is something else. He said he controls the room for sure. He said it's as if 2019 and what's going on with women hasn't reached him at all. He said he was up on stage asking a woman to turn around so he could look at her. Howard asked if Ronnie had an act planned. Ronnie said not at all. He said this is what he does. He said he likes interacting with the audience. Shuli said he's like a molester. He said he looked at this guy and asked if she was really with him. He said he compared him to himself.
Howard asked who walked out. Ronnie said no one walked out. He said they had a great crowd for a summer night.
Shuli said the comic who was doing the show with didn't know what Ronnie was going to do. Ronnie said the guy had no idea. He said he asked what he was going to do out there. Shuli said a comic is used to the guy before him setting the table for him. Shuli said he had to follow something crazy that Ronnie said. Shuli said Ronnie did a good job out there. He said he was in party mode the rest of the night. He said he was bouncing off the walls. Howard asked if he got out there and stated yelling right away. Shuli said he gave them a ''Lets fuck some whores!'' right away.
Howard asked what other catch phrases he used up there. Ronnie said he got some ''Sixty nine'' requests. Shuli said they asked for sex tips and he said no because that's just for this show. Howard asked if he said ''Enough of these wive shits.'' Ronnie said he didn't do that one.
Howard said ''Lets fuck some whores'' was coined in what year. It was 2006. Howard said they should pull every Ronnieism out. He said he could have a set list for his appearances. He said they could ask him what he was thinking when he said these things.
Howard did his Ronnie impression along with Fred. They were talking about how he came up with some of these things.
Howard said he has some audio from the show. Jason said Stephanie tweeted it out. Ronnie said that she was in the audience sitting at a table.
Howard asked Ronnie how he ends the show. Ronnie said he ended it with Shuli. Howard asked if he ever thinks to himself that he didn't give the audience a good show. Ronnie said he doesn't think he has. He said he thought this was a good show. He said he has had bad shows.
Howard asked what it costs to go see Ronnie. Shuli said it's like 25 bucks. He said they're all fans of the show. Howard asked if he can handle the shows on his own. Shuli said he can. He said this is the first time they did a show together this summer. Howard said Ronnie just goes up and curses. He said he goes right to the dirty word. Ronnie said it interacts with a conversation. Fred did his Ronnie impression yelling out ''cunt'' over and over.
Howard asked if there's a VIP ticket where you get Ronnie yelling cunt in your face. Shuli said he was in Vegas recently doing a show and he's like the band Phish. He said High Pitch Erik and Speech Impediment Man showed up to shows. He said Speech Impediment Man showed up in his outfit. He said it's distracting.
Howard said this guy said he saw Shuli with a retarded guy and it turns out it was Medicated Pete. He said it wasn't Ronnie like he thought.
Howard asked Ronnie about evaluating women up there. Ronnie said that's not what he does. He said he just tells women how good looking they are. Shuli said he is so not self aware.
Howard said he has a clip from the show. He played the audio and Ronnie was yelling out ''Lets fuck some whores.'' Shuli said you don't want the audience to think you can just yell out. He said that continues when he leaves the stage. Shuli said his buddy Mike Feeney has never done a show like that. He said he killed it up there but that's what he had to deal with.
Howard and Fred did their Ronnie impressions and talked about doing the crazy catch phrases out there. Howard said he wishes he had his whole set to listen to.
Howard asked how long he was out there. Shuli said he was out there for like 8 minutes. Robin asked how he gets that much. Howard said it has to be the audience yelling stuff out. Shuli said he's just talking to the audience. Shuli said no one yells out that he sucks or anything like that.
Ronnie said this one woman was there because her boyfriend dragged her there. Howard said Ronnie is there to heckle the hecklers. Howard asked if he ever drags out his comments like saying ''Cuuuuuunt.'' Ronnie said he didn't yell out cunt at all. He said the women liked what he was doing up there. He said no one left or ran away.
Howard said Ronnie came back from his big road rally and his comedy show appearance. Shuli asked if there is anything going on with him and Goldberg. He said he didn't see him with him this time. Ronnie said he was only able to run one day this year. He said there's nothing going on there.
Howard said Ronnie is out there meeting girls and meeting guys. He said he's living the dream of a 15 year old.
Howard said there's a note saying that they were terrorizing people out on the road rally. Ronnie said they got pulled over once by this small town sheriff. He said this guy ran his license and ended up taking a picture with him. He said it was between Kansas City and Oklahoma. Howard said good thing it was a fan who pulled him over.
Howard said here's a Ronnie Race Car song. He played a song parody about Ronnie. It was to the tune of the old Speed Racer cartoon theme.
Howard said that's pretty good. He said that it sounds like Shuli had a good time out there with Ronnie. He said the less interaction he has with the public the better it is. Howard said that is some act. He said you'd think Ronnie would turn down the offer because he has nothing to say up there. He said it's embarrassing and maybe he'd ask for him to write him a line or something. Ronnie said he's a host and he's a different kind of host. Howard said it's more of a hostage situation. He said they're stuck with him.
Howard said even if he sang a song or something it would be something. Ronnie said he doesn't sing. Howard said you'd think he'd get some kind of act together. Ronnie said it's enough. Robin said he could talk about getting pegged. Howard said he'd be mortified up there without any material. Shuli said he could tell the story about getting pegged the first time. He said it would be funny if he just told the story.
Howard said he could go out and read a poem or something. He said just come up with something.
Shuli said that it can be terrifying out on stage. He said he has to come up with stuff on the fly sometimes and that's really hard. Howard asked if he ever thinks about not taking the money. Ronnie said he takes the fucking money. Ronnie said he hung out and took pictures with everyone.
Howard asked Ronnie to just go out and tell a story about having a dildo shoved up his ass by a stripper. Robin asked how she missed that story. Howard said she must have turned down the sound in her headphones. He said she must be so disgusted by it that she missed the story.
Shuli said when you write about the real stuff in your life then it really gets the audience. Shuli said that Ronnie has the ability to just say something and get people to laugh. He said just try shit. Howard said just tell the story about finding his parents having a threesome with the neighbor. He said no one has that story. Robin said he jerked off to that. Ronnie said he went to his bedroom to do that. Robin said that was after he laid on the floor to look under the door.
Howard said Ronnie got hypnotized and rode the Sybian. He said he could talk about that or the woman who blew him who had no teeth. Shuli said how about the time he took a shit in a box. Ronnie said that was Shitbox Ritchie, not him.
Shuli said one time Ronnie told a story about a woman who ended up having crutches and he drove off when he saw her showing up to a date. Howard said Ronnie was driving and this chick pulled up next to him and he asked her to pull over to meet her. He said then she gets out of the car and she has crutches. He said she's getting her two poles out and Ronnie looked and drove off like Kurt Busch. Robin asked why he didn't have coffee with her. Ronnie said it was late.
Howard said congratulations to Ronnie on the road rally and the comedy stage return. He said Shuli was proud of him. Howard said there you go.
Howard said this guy Jeffrey Epstein is on the phone and he says that Ronnie was very funny. Howard took the call and fake Jeff told Howard it's just clean, fun entertainment. He said he should take his show on the road. He said he gives it 2 rapes up. Howard asked if he hears a girl crying in the background. Fake Jeff said those are tears of joy. Jeff asked if Robin has any nieces that he can meet. Robin said no. Howard asked the screaming girl to quiet down. Jeff asked what Ronnie's Twitter handle is because he wants to invite him to some events. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said he has a couple of obituaries. He said the great Rip Torn has died. He said he was the great Artie on The Larry Sanders show. He said he was in Men in Black too. He said he knew him from The Larry Sanders show. He said he was nominated for 6 Emmys for that show. He said he won in 1996. Howard said he has a clip to play. He had a clip of Rip Torn ripping Jeffrey Tambour's character.
Howard said he did a scene with Rip. He had a clip of that scene. Howard said that was good.
Howard said Rip was fucking awesome. He said he didn't know him personally but he was some guy. He said around 2009 or so he got arrested for breaking into a bank. He said he told the cops he thought it was his house. He said he got 3 years of probation for that. Howard said he broke in there with a gun on him.
Howard said he loved Al Jaffe's fold in. He said it was very cool. He said he loved Spy Vs. Spy. He said that was a great cartoon. He said he loved that guy who drew the cartoons on the borders of the magazine. He said he can't remember his name. Howard said JD was never able to get the fold in to work. JD said he tried to get the arrows together and it didn't work for him. Howard asked if he's on the spectrum. JD said he probably is. JD said he just thought he was doing it wrong. Howard said he's never heard that before. JD said he hated that part of the magazine. JD said it was brilliant but he could never get it to work.
Howard said his favorite moment was when they released an album of novelty songs on a plastic record. He said it was in the magazine. He said the song they released was called ''It's a Gas'' and it was great. He played some of that.
Howard said they did a MAD show on Broadway that was really good. He said they were really big at one time. He said at their height they had like 2 million subscribers. He said then National Lampoon became popular and people stopped buying it.
Howard said Richie Herbie died too. He said he was engineer at K-Rock. He said he heard he was ill. Robin said she didn't know that. Howard said Richie was a good guy. He said he would complain about something and Richie would come and say that they can't do anything about it. Howard said Richie was a nice guy too. He said rest in peace. He said he gave Richie his Rush Limbaugh Excellence in Broadcasting chair when they retired it.
Robin said she saw that some women had died at the age of 35 and they dug up her body years later and found that it had no changed.
Howard said he got into this guy Governor Jay Inslee. He said he did a really good job and he's very well spoken. He said his number one issue is the environment. He said he's the governor of the state of Washington. He said he's really into public service and it's a shame that he's probably at like 1 percent in the polls.
Howard said Ross Perot also died. He said he forgot about that. Howard said he was 89 years old. He said 25 years ago he looked 89. Robin said she thought he'd be 100. Howard said some guys just look old.
Howard said over the vacation he watched the debates. He said he's ready to say that the democrats are going to lose the next election. He said they were into some crazy shit. Robin said there's so much infighting that it's not good. Howard said they're trying too hard. He said they don't need to reinvent the wheel. He said if you want to beat Trump you don't have to be off the wall saying that you want to give free health care to illegal immigrants. He said you just say we're going to get back to normal. He said we have to repair our relationships with the rest of the world and that we're going to tell Putin and Kim Jong Un to go fuck themselves.
Howard said if you just get up and explain it to people then you can win. Howard said don't say you're against a private option for health insurance. He said they have options in other countries that have total health care. Howard said you also say that you're going to keep abortion legal.
Howard said he thinks that all of the candidates are out of their mind thinking that saying free health care for illegal immigrants is what they want. Howard said Biden was thrown by Kamala Harris. He said he asked to be cut off because he thought he was out of time.
Howard said he's thinking of getting a Peloton. He said it's essentially a Soul Cycle kind of thing without people around him. Gary said they run about $2,400. Howard said they should let you try them out for a week or something. Gary said there is a place you can go and try it out according to Benjy.
Howard said this guy he met told him that if you sit up front you might inspire people to do it. He said he would want to sit in the back. Howard asked if you have to wear bike pants. He said he's not buying outfits. Gary said you have to snap in shoes like a regular bike. Gary said he had to get a padded seat and the bike shorts. Gary said Howard might enjoy it. He said you get to choose the kind of workout you want. He said the instructors can get a little annoying. He said they yell a lot. Howard said he might enjoy that. He said if he's on a bike more than 3 minutes he wants to kill himself.
Howard said no offense but Gary is fat. Gary said he would be fatter if he didn't do this. He said it's a very competitive thing. Howard asked how often he does it. Gary said he does it like 4 times a week. He said he's never tried Soul Cycle.
Benjy told Howard he would like Peloton better than Soul Cycle. Howard asked what information he has. Benjy said you have to dance on the bike when you do Soul Cycle. He said Peloton is in the privacy of your own home. Gary said he just said that. Howard told Gary to get him out of there. Gary cut him off and kicked Benjy out.
Howard said he has to put this on the app so you can see what's going on there. Gary said Benjy did Peloton before him so he thinks he's the expert. Gary said he had it under control. Benjy screamed at him and said he has to talk like that when he won't let him talk. Howard said he's not going to take advice from a guy who is the size of a house.
Howard said he's kind of worried about the bike seat ruining his sex life. He said he heard the bike seats can do that.
Howard said he heard about this thing called Shakeology. He said that Mary McCormack's husband turned him on to it. He said he lost 5 pounds on it. He said he had the drink and it tasted kind of bad but he was able to lose the weight. Robin said it's a protein and nutrition drink. Howard said he put that stuff in and then some almond milk and a banana and some blueberries. He said then he put in one teaspoon of vanilla extract. He said he thinks that may have sugar in it. Robin said it has alcohol in it. Robin said that's what it is. Howard said he doesn't want alcohol. Robin said he might want to try vanilla flavoring instead.
Gary said Brent does Shakeology. Howard said he's a 7. Gary said he says he lost 60 pounds doing it. Howard said all he knows is that he's down 5 pounds.
Howard said he wants a bike like Gary has. Robin said here are other training things like that. Howard said the vanilla flavoring has 3 percent alcohol. Robin said there is also vanilla powder too. Robin said how about cinnamon. Howard said he doesn't know. He said now he's fucked up.
Howard said he wants to get one of those bikes. He said he's sure it will just rust in his home gym. Robin said the vanilla powder has no alcohol in it. Howard had Gary write that down for him. Howard said he's going to get that bike and then he'll be ripped. Howard said maybe he should sit with his parents and just wait for death.
Howard said Beth went down to protest this puppy murderer out in Riverhead. Howard said this fucking guy adopted a dog from North Shore and another dog from another place. He said then he beats the shit out of the dogs. He said one of them is still in a hospital clinging to life. He said this fucking retard just had to have a dog. He said no one has heard the case yet but he pleaded not guilty. He said Beth said she can't just sit by. He said she went down there and the case was put off. He said she saw the guy with his wife and they were yelling ''Puppy murderer'' at him. Howard said imagine a guy doing that. He said the anger in the guy is out there.
Howard said they rescued these puppies from a horrible situation. He said they get them well and then they find homes and they go home to this fucking maniac. He said Beth feels so bad. He said they're afraid that this is going to be overlooked. Howard said Beth went down there to try to help. He said people go to court and get dressed up and then people feel bad for them. He said it should be the same punishment as killing a person. Robin said they do say that some people who kill animals graduate to killing people.
Howard said he was going to go but then a pal of his said that he might ruin the case. He said he didn't go.
Howard asked who the bigger jerk is, the guy who killed the dog or Benjy for interrupting Gary. Robin said it's Benjy. She said he just didn't leave him alone. Howard said he was on the air with him and Benjy had to interrupt. Howard said he gets nuts when he thinks he knows something. Robin said this was his moment and how dare Gary chime in.
Robin said Benjy is the fattest guy in the office and he's the worst weight loss spokesperson. He said how about talking to Jason. Gary said Benjy walked up to him and nodded as if he was asking to talk and he said no so he walked off all rejected.
Howard said he just wonders if he could sit in a class. He said you have to drive to the class. Gary said Howard will not like Soul Cycle. He said you have to fight for a space. Howard said he could pay people off. Gary said he remembers reading about James Taylor and Madonna fighting over a bike. Howard said that sounds like fun.
Robin said one time Madonna came to her gym and took over the basketball court to use a treadmill. She said she wasn't able to run in the regular room. Robin said everyone was pissed because she took over the court and she was also dancing on the treadmill.
Howard read a note about how the shoes at Soul Cycle are wet from other people's feet. Gary said that's easy enough to fix. Howard said forget about all of this. He said it's enough already. He read that they have a Soul Cycle station on Sirius.
Gary said he's going to show Howard a picture to Howard and he'll never want to be there. He showed the picture and Howard said there's no way he'd want to be in that room. He said the chicks are hot though. Gary said they'd all be commenting on him in the class too. He said they'll talk about everything he does in there. Howard said he doesn't need that.
Howard said he heard a story about Richard taking a spin class and leaving a puddle of sweat under himself. Howard said he doesn't need it. Howard asked how long the bike takes to get there. Gar said it's like 5 days and then someone comes to set it up for like $250. Howard said that's fine.
Howard said he has to pee. He said he's not sure if he should take a break. Robin said he wasn't there for the blackout. Howard said he was out east and he ha some of his services knocked out. He said it took an army to get everything back up and running. He said he has to get out of Manhattan. He said he has to retire and get out. He said he doesn't like it anymore. He said he likes everyone there and doing the radio show. He said he wants to live in Florida. He said he wants to quit and go to Florida. Howard said we all know he's not going anywhere though. He said even Beth said that he'll be miserable if he retires. He said he was happy when he was off for 2 weeks. He said people think he'd have a nervous breakdown if he retired.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she has a Peloton and she has been using it all the time. She said that you don't have to be around people and that's great. She said you can do whatever amount of time you want to do. Howard asked if she's hot now. She said she's a lot thinner. She said she tells everyone it was the bike that helped her. Howard asked if she is hot now. The caller said she looks better now than she ever has. Howard said that doesn't sound that great. She said she also does intermittent fasting. Howard said he's not doing that. He said he loves his meals so much. He said he looks forward to them. Howard said Beth forget to eat breakfast and lunch. He said he loves lunch so much he had it at 8:30am. He said he had that drink at 6 and then lunch at 8:30.
Howard said he ate his lunch and then at 4 he had dinner. He said he was done eating at 4:45.
Howard asked the caller who she looks like. She said she has some Kardashian features. The caller told Howard he should get the Peloton.
Howard took a call from a fake woman (Benjy) who was giving him more details about Peloton bikes. Howard told him to just talk like himself. He spoke like himself for a short time but Howard hung up on him. Howard said you know Benjy is gross when he's doing that bike class.
Howard said he heard Ralph was an asshole. He said they should get him on the phone. He said Jason had a barbecue and Ralph went. He said now Jason is pretty sure he can't have Ralph to his home anymore. Howard said that's his experience with Ralph too. Howard said he'll do some commercials and then get back to that.
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Howard said Aimee is playing in Brooklyn this week. Fred was doing his Steve Brandano impression talking about how cool that is.
Howard said while they were on vacation he was thinking about regular radio stations. He said they've added Pandora into the company and the name is going to get too long. He said we can't keep tacking on names. He said it's like keeping your name when you divorce and remarry. He said it's SiriusXM-Pandora-Moonves. Howard said they were just Sirius and then they bought XM so they're SiriusXM. He said they should have changed it to something cool. Robin asked why they have to keep XM alive. Howard said he was talking to someone in the company and they mentioned the Pandora name with SiriusXM. He said he was like ''Get the fuck outta here.'' He said he goes crazy from everything.
Howard said the WPLJ thing kind of bums him out. He said when he left radio he was kind of right when he said that terrestrial radio was dying. He said they're either lucky or they have some talent. He said they have to have talent. Robin said she was talking to some artists while they were on vacation and they were all talking about their art and she realized they're artists too. Howard said they are.
Howard said he was thinking about how they're fucking up radio. He said when WPLJ sells for a couple million then you know it's bad. Robins said it was all about music. She said they lost that.
Howard said he was reading an article about Perry Michael Simon who was wondering how you convince young people to take on radio as a career. He said people are afraid. He said he was constantly being fired when he was starting out. He said it's not like they have job security.
Howard said the radio industry lacks a clear vision. Robin said they really do. She said they don't seem to know what to do other than playing music. Howard said they can't bring in great talent if they keep firing people and they don't have job security.
Howard took a call from Apples who asked if he saw the new season of Stranger Things. Howard said he did and he liked it. He said they make Millie Bobby Brown kind of ugly in the show. He said she's cute in interviews but not in the show. He said they do that with all of the kids. He said the kid who plays the love interest of Millie Bobby Brown is a good looking guy but not on the show. He said they put them in weird clothes and make them look strange. Howard said there's like 8 episodes and he watched them all but he can't talk about it because he'll spoil it.
Apples said the new Spider-Man is really good too. Howard said he wants to see that and the new Avengers. He said someone spoiled that for him. He said with the streaming now most nerds can watch it all at once and then they spoil it. Howard said he was on vacation so he had time to watch it.
Howard said the creepy thing about it is that Millie and the other kid make out in the first 2 episodes and it creeped him out. He said it's not fun. Apples said that there's a lot of young love in the show. Apples said that Zendaya chick in the Spider-Man movie looks really young but she's not that young. Robin said they toned down her looks too. Howard said Spider-Man should be getting a hot chick.
Howard said he saw that Fred wished himself a happy birthday on Instagram. Robin said she forgot it was his birthday. Howard said he sent him a card. He said he wrote him an email. Robin said Howard is good at that. Howard said he keeps a calendar. He said that's how he knows when it's Robin's birthday too.
Fred said he played himself Paul McCartney's birthday song. Howard said social media is misleading. He said Fred is sitting by a pool. He said he didn't know Fred had a pool. Fred said he has a house with a pool. Howard said Fred has it made. He said that's what he was thinking.
Howard played some of the audio of Fred playing guitar by the pool. He wished him a happy birthday after that.
Robin said she used to go to a class right next to Jerry Seinfeld. Howard said he's not Jerry Seinfeld.
Howard said he heard King had a theory about the 4th of July and how it's not fair because of slavery. Robin said black people fought in the war to free this country. King said he knew that. He said they were also slaves. He said he knows they fought in the war but they didn't have the uniforms that the white people had. Howard said they didn't even get shoes.
Howard said King is also a big supporter of OJ Simpson. King said no, no... He said he's not a big supporter. He said the thing that ticks him off is that he knows for a fact that if his wife and her boyfriend were black... Howard cut him off and said he's going to hang up on him before he gets into that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she has a Peloton bike and it's amazing. She said it's right there in the room and it's hot chicks and hot guys right there on the screen. Howard said he's going to get one. He said he has to do something aerobic. He said his doctor told him he has to do that. He said he has to get his heart rate up.
Howard asked the caller what she looks like and found out she does the Iron Man stuff. Fred played the song ''Iron Man'' while Howard was questioning her about her looks.
Howard said he thinks he's going to get one of these things. He thanked the caller, Maggie, and let her go.
Howard said he was going to talk about Ralph but it's late and Ralph isn't available. He said he might be sleeping. Howard said he thinks he would defend himself.
Howard read some email about he Booey 100 thing they did on the 4th and 5th of the month. He said the feedback has been tremendous. Howard said he thought he was going to tune out but the longer you leave it on the more you want to hear.
Howard read some email about the Booey 100 special. He said people were asking for more fake Whoopi Goldberg. He read a bunch of mail about that. Howard said they get a lot of email about this too. He said someone said they got out of a reckless driving ticket while listening to the show. He claims he was driving like he was drunk and got pulled over. He said he heard him listening to the fake Whoopi thing and let him go. Howard said that never happens to him and he's Howard Stern.
Howard said everyone agrees that the Bobo removing his toupee segment was the worst ever. He read a bunch of email about that segment. He had a ''This day in history'' bit about that day to play too. They went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she loved the Booey 100 special. She said happy birthday to Fred and Beth and a fuck you to Benjy. Howard let her go and said there's no need to attack Benjy.
Howard said Robin just walked in with a shopping bag. He asked if she went shopping during the break. Robin said that was her lunch bag. She said that's just what she brings to work.
Howard said maybe he should bring a bag lunch. He said he's so picky about everything. Robin said she just had her breakfast in it this morning. Howard said it's a breakfast bag then. Robin said you call it a lunch bag if you bring it to work.
Robin said she puts her ID on that bag so she doesn't lose it. Howard said he has to figure this out. He said she brings her breakfast in a bag she calls her lunch bag and sticks her ID on it. Robin said that's right. She said it's an insulated lunch bag.
Howard asked if Fred brings anything. Fred said he just drinks some black coffee. He said he eats in the afternoon. Howard asked when he eats. Fred said he has a snack at 2 and then has dinner later.
Fred said he wants to lose some weight. Howard said he can't miss breakfast. He said he loves every meal equally. He said good for Fred. Fred said thank you.
Fred told Howard that Peloton has a showroom in the city if he wants to look at them. Howard asked if he has one. Fred said he has a rowing machine. He said he does 30 minutes of that and then some push ups and squats. He said he does something called a stealth too.
Howard asked Fred where he puts his ID. Fred said he wears it around his neck. Howard suggested that Robin put it there too. Robin said she doesn't want to wear it like jewelry.
Howard asked if Robin has fasted. Robin said she has but it's difficult. Howard said he doesn't want to deny himself.
Howard said if they stay there they're not going to do a 4 hour show. He said he was done 2 hours ago. He said they should do 1 hour 3 days a week.
Howard said they have a lot to get to tomorrow. He said they have to talk about Jason and Ralph and also Brent and some OJ tapes. He said Jon Hein shaved his head. Robin asked if she can see him. Howard said it's really disturbing. He said it looks very odd. Howard said a lot of people thought Bobo looked handsome after shaving his head.
Jon came in and Robin said it doesn't look that bad. Jon said he shaved it off and let it grow back. Robin said this is the look she's been seeing. Howard asked what the TV people thought. Jon said they were surprised. Howard said he needs a little hair going. Jon said he figured he'd give it a shot. Howard said he likes him with a little hair.
Howard asked what they did with the coloring in his hair. Jon said they skipped it when he cut it short.
Howard said Gary is such a weirdo. He said he volunteered to shave his head. Jon said he was talking about doing it and then Rahsaan said he would do it and then Gary said he'd do it. Howard said then Gary realized what he just promised. Howard played a clip of Jon, Gary and Rahsaan talking about doing it together. Howard asked why Gary would even say that. Jon said it was a nice gesture. Howard said when he gets his hair cut Gary doesn't offer to do it in solidarity. Gary said they had spent 20 minutes on the show begging Jon to shave his head. Howard asked why he would even volunteer to shave his head. Gary said he was trying to get Jon to do it.
Howard said that's so weird. He said Gary was all excited about doing it. Jon said he said he appreciates the gesture but then he wondered why he was doing it. He said it was weird when they two of them volunteered. Howard said that would be like Jon offering to get big caps on his teeth in solidarity with Gary.
Howard said he never even thought about shaving his head. He said this is as short as he's ever going. He said he knows what he looks like bald. He said he's worn bald caps an it's very disturbing.
Howard wished Jon luck with that. He said he likes his look right now. Jon said he's going to try to keep it this length. Howard played Jon out with a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' song parody.
Howard said he wanted to mention that people wrote in about Brent going to that mermaid based orgy. He said he got feedback about that and people were upset with Brent commenting on the women's looks.
Howard said he heard that JD's wife was getting hit on by Brent's wife at Jason's barbecue. JD said he missed that. Howard asked how he knows this and JD doesn't. JD said this is the first he's hearing of it so he doesn't know. He said Katelyn flirts with just about everyone that she's attracted to. Howard asked if he might get into some soft swinging. JD said that would be odd.
Howard said he heard that JD kissed Will's wife on the lips as they were leaving. JD said he leaned in and he turned his head and their lips did meet. He said he was trying to kiss her on the cheek. Fred did his JD impression talking about how he accidentally stuck his finger in her pussy too.
JD said it was an accident. He said they both laughed over it. He said they were around people when it happened so they told everyone. Howard said he should have grabbed some tittie too. He said he heard he's texting her now. JD said no. Howard and Fred did their JD voices as they were goofing on him. Howard said Will says he's never kissing his wife ever again.
Howard asked JD if he felt bad. JD said he did. He said he got mixed signals from her. Howard asked what that means. JD said he was going in for a kiss on the cheek and her head turned toward his and their lips met for like a second. He said he kissed her bottom lip and that's it. He said she's really hot so it was whatever. Howard asked if he boned up. JD said Will was right next to him. Robin asked if he went home and fantasized about her. JD said he did not.
Howard asked JD how many beers he was drinking there. JD said he had maybe 2. Robin asked if he was drinking wine too. JD said he had some Sangria. Howard said JD was one of the last people to leave the party. JD said he was ready to go after a couple of hours. He said he's not a party guy. He said they took an Uber back home. Howard asked how long he was there. JD said they were there from about 4 until 10 or 11. Howard said that's a long time to be at someone's house. JD said he wasn't looking to be there that long either. JD said his wife is a social butterfly.
Howard asked if it makes JD feel bad that she would rather stay there then go home with him. JD said he doesn't look at it that way. Howard said his wife is just as anxious to get out as he is. JD said that's good for him then.
Howard said he heard his wife took part in a sing along at the party. JD said she was singing. He said it was a Karaoke sort of thing. Howard wrapped up with JD and moved on to the news. He did a live commercial read first.
Robin started her news talking about Anderson Cooper and what his mom left him in her will. Howard said poor Anderson. He said his mother was Gloria Vanderbilt. He said he thought she was going to give him everything. He said Anderson knew he wasn't going to get much. Howard said she left him all of the money but it wasn't much. He said it was a million and a half. Robin said she left the other brother her apartment which was worth about 1.2 million. Howard said it apparently doesn't pay to be Gloria Vanderbilt's kid. Robin said she inherited like 5 million when she was a kid and it was the equivalent of 70 million today. Robin said they estimated that Anderson might get 200 million or so. Robin said she suffered some business downturns over the last several years and that ate into her wealth. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Wimbeldon and how Serena Williams didn't win. Robin said she's really bummed about that. She filled Howard in on some details about what went on at Wimbeldon.
Robin read a story about the U.S. women's soccer team winning the world cup for the second time. Robin said she also learned that they don't make the kind of money that the men do. Robin said the U.S. men's soccer team players get half a million each. Robin said the women's team only gets $90,000. Robin said they have to get more because they're winners and the men don't win. Robin said she can't even watch 15 minutes of that but when she heard that disparity then she was shocked. Robin said the ratings on FOX went up every night that they showed the women's soccer. She had some audio of people chanting ''equal pay'' at some press conference. Robin said even Snoop Dogg went off about the pay of the women's soccer team. Howard asked when he became such an advocate. Robin said he likes soccer apparently.
Robin had some audio of some people chanting ''Fuck Trump'' at a bar in France after the U.S. won. Robin said this was on FOX News. Howard said that's funny.
Robin read a story about a YouTube content creator being killed in an accident. Robin said this was on an electronic scooter in London. Robin said she was 35 years old. She said they're looking for witnesses or dash cam footage to help in the investigation. Robin had some audio of the woman from one of her videos.
Robin read a story about the new 007 being Lashana Lynch. Robin said the movie is set to be released in 2020. Robin said Daniel Craig will play 007 but he's retired and the code number has been turned over to the new 007. Howard asked why he would go see James Bond but then they have another character playing Bond. Robin said this is a designation for the spy and they're giving it to another person. Howard said he doesn't like this. Robin explained it again and Howard said he's fine with that.
Robin said it's nice when a celebrity is a fan. She said the band Tool found out that Justin Bieber is a fan because Bieber shared some Tool lyrics on Instagram. Robin had some audio of their song ''Sober'' that she had Howard play. Robin said Maynard from Tool tweeted ''Oh bummer'' when he found out. Howard said maybe they were hoping for another celebrity. Howard asked why they pick on that guy so much. He asked if he's a dick or something. Howard said Bieber should fire back at them and say that they'd be lucky to mow his lawn. Howard sang the song parody that they did for one of his songs that they called ''I'll Suck Your Ween.'' Robin sang it too and Howard said they'll probably hear her singing that in many song parodies in the future. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said George Takei sent him a FedEx the other day. He said George has sent him a book that he may not read. He said he only reads on the Kindle. He said he opened the book up and what do you think it's about. Robin said the Japanese American internment camps. Howard said of course. He said it's a graphic novel. He said it's like cartoons of George and his siblings being dragged off to the internment camps. Howard said it's called ''They Called Us Enemy.'' Howard showed it to Robin. Gary came in and said he got a copy. He said they were trying to figure out how many mediums he can tell that story in. Howard said he's trying to tell little kids the story and this is the best way to do it. He said it's such an uplifting story. Robin said here are a lot of panels on those pages. Howard said he didn't leave out any detail. He said maybe the final galley is in color but this one was in black and white.
Robin read a story about a big earthquake that hit California while they were away. Robin said there were actually 2. She said one was a 6.4 and the other was a 7.1. Robin said it shook the whole area and people were sleeping outside because there were so many aftershocks. Robin said KCAL 9 was broadcasting at the time of the 7.1 so they have some audio. Howard played that and the news anchors were getting ready to get under a desk. Robin said she experienced a 6.4 one time and that was enough for her. Robin said Howard lived through one in Mexico. Howard said he was on his honeymoon but he didn't experience that. He said he probably lied to her about that.
Robin read a story about a family that went to Disneyland and a full fledged fight started and a man punched a woman in the face 4 or 5 times. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said what's weird about this is that it happened in front of Goofy's house. He said he just heard the N-word. He said some people just can't behave. Robin said don't think going somewhere can make everyone happy. Howard said no men stepped in because the guy was a big guy.
Robin read a story about R. Kelly being arrested again. Robin said more charges have been leveled against him. Robin said he was arrested in Chicago. She said the judge delayed a decision on where they're going to do this. Robin said the files of his divorce are going to be released today too.
Robin read a story about Jeffrey Epstein trying to get out on bail. Robin said he's been accused of being a sex offender. Robin said a Trump secretary had to step down after this all came out. Robin said that was Jim Acosta. Robin said he struck a deal so Jeffrey didn't have to do much time.
Robin read a story about Billy Joel acknowledging Bill and Hillary Clinton at a show and they were booed.
Robin read a story about how President Trump was telling some congress members to go back to their country and fix the problems where they came from before doing what they're doing here. Robin said some people think this was a racist comment. Robin had some people responding to those tweets.
Robin read a story about Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr being on stage together over the weekend. Robin said they shared the stage for two songs. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Robin said Joe Walsh was also there.
Robin read about how Spider-Man is still number 1 at the box office. She wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about it being a Tuesday at XM-Pandora. Robin said she can't keep up with all of these names. Howard said come on. He said he's been following the stories about whether or not President Trump is a racist. He said he told some women of Congress to go back to their country even though 3 of the 4 are from this country. Robin said Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said she has to go back to the Bronx. She said she was born there.
Howard said the woman who wears the turban on her head, Ilhan Omar, and the others call themselves ''The Squad.'' Howard said if white people did that they'd be racist. He said he felt that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was the hottest of the 4 but he's wrong. He said Ilhan is the super hot. He said he likes women super thin and she is the steamiest of the 4. He said he didn't realize how hot she is. He said she's all feisty. He said he was thinking about how hot she is while watching her speak.
Howard said he had no clue what they were talking about but he thought about how hot she is. He said he wonders what's under that turban. He said it must be a religious thing. Fred played the ''My turban is dirty'' clip. Howard said they call it a hijab. Robin said that comes down over your face. Howard said that cloth looks like gauze. Robin said it does look like a bandage. Howard said he'd like to know what's under there.
Howard said he was trying to figure out what everyone was upset about and all he could think about was how hot she is. He said he'd like to see what's under that turban. He said he asked some other people what they thought and they though that she had a brain injury and she's covering something up. Howard said he thinks Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez should get a hijab. Howard said she is very hot. He said she has a perfect face. Howard asked if she's married. Robin said she doesn't know. She said probably so. Howard said you can't be that hot and not have a husband. Robin said that's not true. Howard said someone probably grabbed her up. Fred said she's been married twice.
Howard said he wants to see what's doing with her hair. He asked if she's allowed to drive. Robin said yes because she's here. Howard said you never know. Robin said she saw a woman get out of a cab and her head was covered completely except for a slit for her eyes. Howard said the conservatives should dig her because they have this new guy who won't even be alone with a female reporter because he doesn't want to be tempted. Robin said he's like the Vice President. Howard said that's so narcissistic. He said he's the most unattractive man on the planet and he thinks a woman is going to tempt him. Howard said this guy's name is Robert Foster. He said he's a slightly thinner Benjy. Robin said he has to keep it real.
Howard said the woman in the hijab would probably say he's right. He said they have a lot in common. He said the conservative republicans want Sharia law and they don't even realize it. He said it's always the ugly guys who want this kind of thing. He said no woman is attracted to you.
Howard said this Ilhan has been married twice. Robin said that doesn't seem right for a Muslim.
Howard said coming in at number one is Ilhan Omar and then Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the other two.
Howard said that this guy was right. Robin said he was not right. She said she can do whatever she wants. Howard said he was right saying he's out if she's fucking the other guys. Robin said he was backing out of everything. She said that they showed previews and he'll be there trying to get her back next week. Howard said he's not proposing to someone if she's fucking other guys. Robin said that she's trying to pick out of 25 guys. She asked why you would get involved in that.
Howard said there was a lot of vocal fry on the Bachelorette. He said it's men and women talking like this. He said this is a guy they threw out. He said his name is Conner S. He played a clip of Conner doing the vocal fry thing. Robin said the Bachelorette started doing it too last night.
Howard said this guy was thrown off but he'll be on Bachelor in Paradise in a few weeks. Howard did his impression of the guy speaking with the vocal fry. He said he has a fly stuck in his teeth from being a frog. He talked to Robin like she was the Bachelorette. He asked her to lick his back and get high.
Howard said enough of that. He said Trump is trying to convince everyone that he's not a racist. Robin said what's interesting is that his rationale is that a lot of people agree with him. Howard said that's crazy logic. He said he will never say he's wrong. He said he can't back down. Robin said just because people agree with him doesn't mean he's right.
Howard said they were doing a study asking what they do with the water and they're either drinking it or jerking off with it. He said he grew up when guys just bought dirty panties. He said this is unacceptable. He said imagine your son wants dirty bath water.
Howard said a word of advice is that she can take another bath and she'll get another supply. He said guys are also vaping with her bath water. He said others are jerking off with it. Howard said after you jerk off with that the 5 seconds after have to be the loneliest ever. He said that he feels that way when he jerks off.
Howard said he has to get to a lot today. He said Jason went down to visit Wendy the Slow Adult in Florida. He said they'll get an update on that. He said Jason kind of healed her a little bit. He said she's in a rehab facility right now. Howard said he won't spoil that yet though.
Howard said he has a lot of other stuff to get to today too. Robin said they were going to talk about Brent too. Howard said they have to take a break though. He said there's a lot more show to come. They went to break after that.
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Howard said that Ilhan Omar has a bit of that Amy Winehouse look. He said he's kind of charged up by her. He said she was in a Maroon 5 video last year. He said she was wearing a tight t-shirt. Fred said you could see some boobage. He played the song for the video that she was in.
Howard said speaking of Maroon 5 that Adam Levine is producing that show he likes. He said he was on that Voice show for 18 seconds and finally left. He said he knew to get that Ilhan Omar for that video. He said they asked her to put on a tight t-shirt for it. He said she's wearing her hijab in that video too. He said he's not sure what will happen if he sees her hair. He said she has a Lauren Hill vibe too. Robin said she doesn't look like her at all. Howard said he said she has a vibe, not a look. He said he thinks she's model hot. Robin said she's not sure about that. Howard said he's shocked that Trump didn't tell the other 3 to go back to their countries and tell her to stay. Robin said that's what Trump would like to do. She said he'd go to the border and just pick the models to come into the country.
Howard said they could have a hottest illegal immigrant pageant. He did the announcing for that. He said they could have the hottest ICE detainee. He said Ilhan Omar can host. He had her talking about how she was voted hottest of The Squad and how she's even hotter than Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Howard had her talking about the ICE detainees and the pageant they were going to have. He said screw the bathing suits, they're going nude. He said all women were allowed to shower before the pageant. Howard had her thanking him for saying she has a Erykah Badu vibe.
Howard was making up the whole pageant and going through how it would work. He said it was brought to you by Donald Trump. He said that many contestants used a rock as their pillow. He said please ignore the distended bellies on some of the detainees because of their lack of food. He said once they win they will become citizens and be able to eat. He had them released from their cages so the games could begin.
Howard asked who the judges would be. Robin said maybe Mitch McConnell and Ted Cruz. Howard said Mike Pence can lead them in prayer. He said maybe Sarah Huckabee Sanders can be a judge. He said Ted Nugent and Kid Rock can be judges too.
Howard said they have excellent musicians there. Fred was playing some music there. Howard said Sarah is teasing some of the contestants with a roast beef sandwich. Howard asked if it's wrong to be fantasizing about Ilhan Omar while all of this is going on. Robin asked what he thinks. Howard said he thinks it's wrong. Robin laughed. Howard said she is model hot.
Howard said if she took off that hijab you'd think that she was a highly paid super model. Robin said they should get someone from a modeling agency and find out. Howard said he's teaching her how to be an influencer. Howard said he's not sure what her politics are but his boner is apolitical.
Howard asked Ronnie what he thinks about Ilhan Omar. Ronnie came in and took a look at some pictures. Howard asked what he thinks. Ronnie said he thinks there's a lot going on under that deal there. Robin asked what that means. Ronnie said that's a good thing. Howard asked if he's right or wrong. Gary said he has a hot picture of her. He showed it to Howard. Howard told Ronnie to take a look. Ronnie said she's got nice boobs too. Gary said that's from the Adam Levine video. Ronnie gave her a 9. He said ''she's smokin' man.'' He said she has a nice tight sweater.
Howard asked what he thinks of the illegal immigrant beauty pageant. Ronnie said he'll host. Howard let him go.
Pocket said Robin was talking about how her friends are artists and she said that she's like an artist. Howard said please don't reference back to yesterday when you call in. He said they don't even remember it. He said then you have to explain to people what happened. He said it just doesn't work. He said no one else remembers it.
Howard asked if they want to talk to Bobo. Robin said last time they did that it was devastating to the show. She said they may want to never speak to him again. Howard took his call anyway and said it was a bad idea to have him up there. Bobo said his intention was to just show his head without his hair. Howard said they had seen it already. He said it was a lot for him to think he could turn him into an interesting segment. He said he was overly ambitious. Bobo said sometimes you're on the money and sometimes you're not. Howard played a ''Always Forget'' that day in Howard Stern show history bit.
Howard said Bobo was in New York and begging to come up to the show. He said he thought they could make something out of it. He said he really has to put the show first. Bobo said his friends and family know that he puts a lot into this. Howard said he knows what he's saying but he has to decide if something is interesting to the audience. He said he knows Bobo was trying to show his new look but no one really cares. Bobo said he thought they'd want it for the app. He said he was up there to do the unveil and that's it. Howard said he was in there for a whole segment and they tried. He said the only person who cares about Bobo being bald is Bobo.
Howard asked what Bobo has to say. Bobo said he doesn't like the fact that Trump is lifting music from all of these artists before getting permission. He said he should just call. Robin said he knows they'll say no. Howard said he thought he was a big Trump guy. Bobo said he is. Bobo said he has to stop taking their music. He kept moving his phone and his voice would trail off. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard said there's a phone line you can call to tell Trump what a great job he's doing. He said he finds that kind of odd. He asked where that is. Gary told him where in the computer it was. Howard said this is an add that Trump put out where you can call a 800 number to tell him what a great job he's been doing.
Howard played the clip and the campaign manager was saying that Trump has done more than any president in history and you can call and thank him by calling this number. Howard asked what that's all about. Robin said he needs his ego boosted. He said most people ask for money but he's asking for thank yous.
Howard said they said to Bobo that he should call and he did it. Howard played the clip of Bobo thanking Trump for doing what he promised he said he was going to do with the exception of common core. He said he also met with Kim Jong Un and he can't think of anyone who has met with a dictator in the North Korean area.
Howard said after that thank you he thought Trump would resign. Fred did his impression of Bobo talking to Trump and thanking him for meeting with a dictator.
Howard said Fred the Elephant Boy also called and thanked Trump. He played a clip of Elephant Boy thanking him for what he's doing with illegal aliens. Howard said that was some message to Trump.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said this girl is the hottest chick on the planet and he would drink her bath water. He said her name is Cyn Santana. He said that you have to see her on Instagram. He said she used to be on this show Love and Hip Hop. He said she's really hot. Howard asked if he would buy a woman's bath water. King said he would have to be into her but he would if he was dating her. He said he wouldn't do that with a random woman. He said he'd buy underwear if they were hot. Howard said ''fascinating.'' He said he's sure she's hot but there are a ton of hot women on Instagram. King said there are so many but not as hot as this one. Howard took a look when Gary brought in a picture. Howard said she's okay but not that hot. King asked if he's kidding. Howard said she's not that hot to him. King said that he can't imagine anyone not thinking she's the hottest thing on this planet. Robin said Howard just did.
King brought up the conversation they had about blacks fighting in the revolutionary war. Robin and King went over that for a minute but Howard said he wants to get back to Cyn Santana. He said it looks like she takes a big dump. He said he has to take a break. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and Robin said she's sorry for suggesting to talk to people in that last segment. She said they got stuck with Bobo and King of All Blacks.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who suggested he should swim to get some exercise. Howard said he hates swimming. He said he's not at ease in the water. He said he doesn't have a great stroke. He said he puts out too much effort. Mariann said he could jog in the pool. Howard said he's not going to do that. He said he could get a pool bike. He said many years ago he got swimming lessons. He said the guy had a shitty way of teaching. He said he was too good a swimmer. He said he wasn't able to break it down to an idiot level.
Howard said he can give the illusion of swimming but he doesn't have good form. He said he can float on his back and things like that. He said he doesn't have the coordination for swimming.
Robin said she once watched a woman swim for hours and it looked effortless. Howard said he can't do that. He hung up on Mariann when she was trying to say something.
Howard said he thanks everyone who wrote to him about the Peloton and Soul Cycle stuff after yesterday's show. He said it sparked some sort of discussion out there but he forgot about it completely yesterday after the show. He said he never uses his equipment at home. He said people swear that Peloton is great because you have a teacher and a class to follow. He said he is thinking about getting one.
Howard said Baba Booey is using a Peloton and people want to see video of that. Howard said he'd love to see that. He said Gary is overweight and he exercises like a maniac. He said it would be funny to see that. Gary said he'll try to do that tonight. He said he's doing a Peloton class tonight. He said it'll be 30 or 45 minutes. Howard said look at all the exercise he does. Gary said he would be shocked to know that 5-6 days a week he does 65 minutes of aerobics. Howard asked why he's not thinner. Gary said he eats everything in sight. He said he drinks a lot on the weekends. Howard asked when he starts. Gary said Friday and Saturday but maybe Thursday. He said he doesn't drink on Sundays. Howard asked if he hits it heavy. Gary said no. He said on Friday and Saturday he might have 4-5 drinks. Howard said no wonder he's fat.
Robin asked if Gary gets drunk. Gary said that's why you drink. Robin said that's not why she drinks. She said she almost never gets buzzed from drinking wine.
Howard said he took Beth out last night and the waiter came over and asked if she wanted a glass of wine. He said she said yes and he turned to him and asked. He said he was going to stick with the water. He said they must think he has a drinking problem. He said a lot of people who were never drunks go to meetings and declare themselves sober even though they weren't drunk. Howard said there are sober bars out there too. He said that's great for drunks but these other people go there. He said they dig being sober and it's like a lifestyle. Howard said he had to stop drinking because of a medical condition.
Robin said he could smoke pot. Howard said he won't smoke and put something into his lungs. Robin said he could take edibles. Howard said he can't do that either. He said he can't eat chocolate or drink coffee. He said he's pretty much like a monk. Robin said he can only eat one thing like Jack Sprat. Howard said that's Fred's ass. He said that's not off the menu.
Gary asked when Robin stopped drinking and getting drunk. He said in 2015 she talked about going to get high and drunk. Robin said she got high that time. She said she doesn't sit down every day to get drunk when she drinks. Gary said she must get drunk or buzzed a few times a year. Robin said not that often. Robin said her doctor actually recommended drinking a glass of wine. Gary asked if she still drinks Long Island Ice Tea. Robin said she does.
Howard asked how she gets to do that. He said he can't do any of that. He said he can't do anything fun. He said his wife drank alone on her birthday. He said they had a nice night.
Howard said they went to Jean-Georges for dinner. He said that's so good. He said it's expensive though. He said he had pea soup with cheese balls in it. He said they had pretzel bread too. He said Beth is ripped and she can eat all of this. He said she's blessed. He said every guy hits on her. He said even when he's there they hit on her. He said they just hit on her all the time. He said it's crazy.
Howard said Beth complains that she's old. He said thank god she's getting older. He said everyone was hitting on her. He said they brought out a chocolate cake for her and he can't eat that.
Robin asked if he tried the vanilla powder with his Shakeology. He said he's not up to that yet. He said he'll get to that this weekend.
Howard said he was all dressed up for dinner last night. He said Beth had half tittie out in her dress. He said they had sex the night before. He said he wanted to have sex with a younger woman the night before. He said they went home and passed out last night. He said it was almost 7:30 when they got home. He said being with him is one crazy event after another.
Howard said he gets paranoid on work nights. He said for her birthday he took her out and painted her a card. He said he told her he'd have a party for her but she didn't want it.
Howard said Beth is so into saving cats lives that she has to check her phone to see if anyone needs saving.
Howard said they didn't do any love making last night. He said he was beat. He said she wasn't begging for it either. He said she wasn't like ''You've got to give it to me. He said he's not withholding.
Howard got back to the email and read some comments he got about Benjy and how annoying he is when he gets on the air. Howard read some email about JD talking about kissing Will's wife on the lips accidentally. Howard said people were talking about JD and how sexually aggressive he is. Someone said they hope she didn't pick up any STDs from JD. Howard said there you go.
Howard said an accidental kiss happened. He said that's like Simon Cowell accidentally fucking his friend's wife and getting her pregnant.
Howard said with OJ tweeting now it's despicable. He said you can't do that after someone has been killed. Robin said no one wants to hear you talking about the stuff he's talking about after he's killed two people. Howard said he invited Kim in to remind everyone that this is no joke. He said OJ is turning into Olivia Jade now. He said he might be doing makeup tips for the girls.
Howard said OJ was on a tweet storm over their vacation. He said he put out videos before the debates. Howard played some audio of OJ saying hi to ''Twitter world'' and talking about how he was waiting to watch the debate. OJ was talking about how he's going to watch people who think they're qualified to run our country. Howard did his impression of OJ and goofed on his voice.
Howard asked if OJ can even vote if he's a convicted felon. Howard said Kim Goldman can't get in there fast enough. He said her head must be exploding. He said she got called for Jury Duty once and they dismissed her because she was having PTSD from the OJ trial. He said Johnny Cochran looked over at her after the trial and almost laughed at her when OJ got off.
Howard played another clip of OJ tweeting out about celebrating his 33rd annual 39th birthday. Howard said he makes Ronnie look like Henny Youngman. OJ was talking about how the good lord has kept him healthy. He said all the haters on the internet and TV are going to do what they do. Howard said Nicole was only 35 years old when she was killed. He said Ron was only 25. He was a 25 year old boy.
Howard played more of OJ's rambling. Howard said he has problems with his words like he doesn't understand what he's saying. OJ said a lot of things have happened in his 39 years. Howard cut the clip off when OJ was rambling about hanging out with his boys. Howard asked who would hang out with that guy. Howard said the guy got out so just shut up. He said you're free so just shut up.
Robin said all of the adversity in his life was created by him. Howard said OJ did a show up in Buffalo and talked about why he got on Twitter. Howard asked if Robin wants to hear that. Robin said she would like to know what was on his mind. Howard played a clip of OJ talking about how he wanted a chance to straighten out a few things. He said people are representing themselves like his manager and lawyer and he wants to get that straight.
Howard said they say that OJ has a putting green on his property in Nevada. He played more of OJ talking about getting on Twitter to answer questions since he can't write everyone back now that he's out of jail. Howard said he's worried about being rude after what he's done.
Howard said he likes this guy Tim Graham getting a good interview with OJ. He said at the end of this interview he says OJ is a good guy. He played some of that audio. OJ was laughing at his own commenting in the clip too. OJ said he's staying positive even with the trolls out there. He said that he totally appreciates the people who stay positive with him.
Howard said he isn't into the trolls but he thinks the people who are trolls to OJ are just normal people. He said OJ is a happy go lucky murderer. He said only 1 percent of the money he owes has been collected. He said he's not sure what a civil judgment means anymore. Robin said he had protected income. Howard said OJ got away with it. He said you'd think he'd stay off Twitter so people like him don't get riled up. Howard said OJ is flaunting it on Twitter. He said he just can't stay out of the public eye. He said he doesn't care who he pisses off.
Howard said Kim Goldman is trying to keep the flame alive. He said this guy is a maniac. He said the whole world is so fucked up. He did more of his OJ voice and said that he's still searching for the murderer. He said if you have any evidence just DM him.
Howard said he never did play the phony phone call. He said he might have to take a break. He said he'll do that and then get the guys in there and find out what happened with Brent. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and asked what instrument was making that weird noise. Fred said it must be a keyboard.
Howard said he saw a movie that was really good but no one will see it. He said it was really good. He said Aaron Paul and Sienna Miller were in it. He said Sienna Miller is super hot. He said it was Ridley Scott's son who directed it. He said that pissed him off. He asked why he gets to be a great director too. He said the movie was called ''American Woman.'' He said it was good. He said he saw it at his house. He said he asked if Sienna or Aaron were coming on the show. They said no but he watched it anyway.
Howard said the movie is about a woman whose kid is missing and they have no idea where she is. He said that Sienna plays the super hot grandmother. Gary said he saw the movie too and he's looking at the domestic gross. He said it didn't make much money. He said it was out a month and it made $235,000. Howard said he and Gary saw it and they didn't pay anything. Gary said at one point it was in 117 theaters. Howard said the investors must have been thrilled.
Robin said Ridley Scott made a lot of great movies. Howard said his son did this one. He made up a conversation between Ridley and his son, Jake Scott, who was pitching the plot to his dad. He had Ridley asking where the monsters are in this one.
Gary said he's looking at the box office. Gary said the movie is great but it was in 117 theaters the first week. Then it was 38 down to 10 and then 7.
Howard said he thinks he met Ridley Scott once. He said he may have been with another director. He said Brian Grazer might have been the one. He said he knows Brian. He said he met Ridley and he had an English accent. He said he thinks that happened to him. He said it may not even be Ridley Scott. He said that's what he remembers.
Howard said that movie played in his house and that's about it. Howard said Ridley Scott should have told his son to put an Alien in that movie. Robin said she hopes it finds a life if it was a good movie. Howard was still trying to do his British accent and it wasn't coming out right.
Howard said he doesn't know how they make movies anymore. He said it's so hard to make money. He said it's sad because movies like that don't have a place anymore. He said you have to be a big franchise. He said thank god for streaming services like Netflix. Robin said she watched something on Prime called ''Too Old To Die Young'' and it was the weirdest and stupidest thing she's seen. Howard said he has like 45 shows he's watching on Netflix. He said he stops watching them after 10 minutes. He said he saw a series called What If and that was so bad. He said the first 3 episodes were good and they hooked him in.
Howard said American woman is playing in 6 theaters at this point. He said they have a dilemma. He said if they want to promote a movie they have to get it out there.
Robin said there's a movie called Midsummer in theaters now that's so good. She said there's crazy nudity in it. Gary said American Woman was in 135 theaters to start and now they're down to 5. Howard said his home theater must count at this point.
Howard played the call to this woman who was pretty much unintelligible. Richard had the puppies talking to her and she was asking them to come live with her. The puppies were barking at her and she'd talk to them like they understood her. Richard asked if the dogs want to go live with her and the growled. The woman was growling back.
Howard said this went on for 20 minutes. He said this was the condensed version. Robin said that was pretty sad. Howard said there were parts where she was talking to them for like 20 minutes so Richard cut her off.
Howard had some outtakes from the call where the woman was rambling and completely unintelligible. Robin asked how she lives if no one can understand her. Howard said he imagines that JD's mother sounds like that. Howard asked JD if his mother sounds like that. JD said his mother can speak. Howard asked if he understands her. JD said he didn't understand anything she said in that second clip. Howard asked what he thought of her song. JD said it was okay. Howard said they put the song to music and it wasn't bad. He played a quick clip.
Howard said he didn't really notice until his mother said something. He said he worked in so many disgusting stations he didn't notice. He said before WNBC he had mice living in his desk. He said Fred took care of that for him. He said this place must be making a ton of money. He said they have construction going on and they have nice offices out in L.A. now. Robin said she heard Ross was sent out there to help out with that.
Howard said they say that Netflix has such a nice office area that celebrities are hanging out there. He said they just go there and hang. He said that has to be fake news. He asked if you'd look like a loser just hanging there. He said Jimmy Kimmel had a bar on his show and they hoped that celebrities would hang out. He said it did happen and then certain celebrities showed up every day and it got to be a pain in the ass. He said a lot of them were sort of C-list and they were annoying the A-list celebrities. Howard said over at Netflix they're doing that now and they must want to get them to hang out there at Sirius. He said he hates that. He said his office is where the celebrity green room is. He said they all want to take pictures with him and he doesn't like that. He said it's embarrassing.
Howard said he's imagining Kato Kaelin moving in at the L.A. SiriusXM offices. Howard asked if Robin has seen this Bagel Boss Guy on the internet. He said he's a 4'11'' guy who freaked out at a Bagel Boss store and he tried to fight a big guy who knocked him right down. He said yesterday the guy was hanging out in the green room. He said Netflix has Letterman and Leno and they have the Bagel Boss guy.
Howard played a clip of some construction work going on while he was trying to sleep yesterday. He said he was going to kill himself. He said by the 4th hour he's under the table on the show. He said he gets sleepy after talking for 4 hours. Robin said he might need some oxygen over there. Howard said he does get tired. He said the best part of his day is when he gets his heated bag with his lunch in it. He said he's thinking about his egg sandwich right now. He said he can't wait for it. He said after eating that he goes to his office and curls up in his chair and sleeps for 45 minutes. He said yesterday this was going on. He played the construction noise again. He said it's just as noisy at home. He said there's always construction going on at home too.
Howard said everyone in the office is quiet while he's sleeping. Gary said they have someone there to shush people while Howard is back there. Howard said he needs to sleep there. He said you'd think he'd buy a bed but that would be a whole story if he did. He said the whole office would be a bed if he got one in that tiny office. He said that wouldn't look right.
Howard said they blocked the door so no one can get in there. Robin said she got locked out because of that. Howard said they have a person in charge of shushing people in the office now. He said this is no joke. Robin said she can't even go back there. Gary said she can but she has to talk lower. Robin said you have to whisper. Robin said Ronnie shushed her the other day. Howard said everything is perfect back there now. He said they have the printer shut down and everyone is shushed. He said now they have this. He played the construction clip again.
Howard said from 11:30 to 12:30 they can't do construction. Robin said they do seem to wait until they're off the air to do this. Howard said just try to sleep through this. Robin said this is what it sounded like in the elevator. Howard said he has a noise blocker in his office. He said if someone talks they get fired. He said it's just for an hour. He said the poor people who work there have to deal with this. He said he doesn't care if they aren't getting their work done. Robin said she was looking into getting sign language so she can communicate back there.
Howard said Sal and Richard have to tip toe back there in the hallway. He said he's not kidding.
Howard said he has to play this Bagel Boss Guy clip. He said this was on the internet the other day. Howard played the clip for Robin. He said this guy posts a bunch of videos of himself getting into confrontations with people over his height. The guy was yelling at people in the store until he invited someone to attack him and the guy knocks him right down. Howard said the guy is like 4'11'' tall. Robin asked if you invite someone to knock you down is it okay for someone to do that. Howard said don't ask him.
Gary said he got a call from that Bagel Boss Guy's manager over the weekend. He said the guy has represented the real Peter Griffin guy too. Gary said now he has a lot of women into him. Howard asked if Adam Barta will do a song with him. Gary said he's doing celebrity boxing. He said they want him to fight Shuli. Howard said he would watch that. Gary said Shuli said he passed.
Shuli came in and said he could beat the guy up but why would he fight him? Howard said it'll give him attention. Shuli said he's tiny and this guy is smaller than him. He said the money offer wasn't that great. He said it's the same that he makes on the road. He said if he can make that kind of money telling jokes then why would he get in the ring. Howard said people will enjoy this more. Howard said his rate on the road might go up. Robin said it's all about name recognition.
Howard went into his agent voice and told Shuli that he has to get into this. He said he would like to take him on as a client. He said they'll call it Punchlines vs. Punches. Robin asked what he's thinking. Howard said if he knocks that little fucker out he'll be a hero. Howard said he's in a no win situation actually. He said he's a dick if he knocks the guy out and he's a loser if he doesn't.
Howard went back into his agent voice and said he has to get in on this quick before they forget about the Bagel Boss Guy. The agent asked if he turned down dwarf tossing too.
Howard asked if Shuli saw the Bagel Boss guy there. Shuli said he did. He said his whole entourage was there. He said he has all kinds of representatives now. Howard said he heard he took pictures with him. Shuli said he did. He said the guy yelled ''Hit 'em with the Hein.'' He said he has some good Wack Pack traits too.
Howard asked if he would be okay on the show. Shuli said he thinks so. Howard said the guy's name is Chris Morgan and he owns a cleaning company on Long Island. He said he has videos of himself confronting people. Howard played some of that. In the clip he was yelling at someone in a store and they smacked the phone out of his hand. In another clip he was going off on a guy who came out of his house to confront him. He was yelling at another guy over breakfast. Howard asked why he goes out. He said it seems like he should stay in and skip the coffee in the morning.
Howard said Shuli has to fight him. Shuli said that's a different story if Howard is telling him he has to do it. Howard said he thinks he should unless he has something against it. Shuli said he can fight. He said he hasn't done it in a long time though. Robin said don't make excuses now.
Howard said this guy Chris Morgan hasn't even apologized for any of this stuff. He said he told a reporter that he's like a Martin Luther King of the day. Howard played a clip of him talking about that. Shuli said he's right because Martin Luther King used to get into fights at bagel places all the time.
Howard said Shuli has to do this. He said Memet is putting $100 on Chris. Howard asked if Shuli will train. Shuli said sure. Howard asked if Memet saw this guy. Memet said he did and he's very angry. He said he thinks Shuli could beat Beetlejuice. Memet said there are others back there who think that Shuli would lose. Gary said he thinks he has an insane anger that Shuli just can't beat. He said that guy's arms are big. Shuli said they're short though. Gary said he loves Shuli. Howard said Shuli is an angry guy too. He said he's doing stand up and he's not getting anywhere. Shuli said there is anger there. He said he's not yelling at guys in bagel shops.
Howard said he thinks they have to have Bagel guy up there and work out the details. Shuli said he has to work out the details to make sure he's getting something out of this. Howard said they have to get Underdog as the ring girl. Shuli said he will never lose in front of his lady.
Howard said someone told him Shuli was in Vegas hanging out with High Pitch Erik. Shuli said he was working out there and Erik flew himself out there. He said he flew his girlfriend out there too. He said he met this girl and it is a real girlfriend. He said she lives in L.A. though. He said they supposedly closed the deal. Robin asked what they're doing talking to Shuli then.
Howard asked if the girl is good looking. Shuli said she is. Shuli said Erik showed up to the shows and this is a big deal because he's headlining at this club. He said he went back to the green room and High Pitch Erik was sitting there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he lives in the town that Chris lives in and he's seen him out causing trouble. Howard said now he knows why they're doing this construction up there. He said they have to get this guy to hang out there.
Howard played a clip of Chris Morgan doing an interview and telling the guy that he's not racist but he does use the N-word. He also said that he doesn't have a problem with gay guys but they can't touch him. He said they're fine as long as they don't touch him.
Howard was reading about Chris and how he cut an interview short with an Inside Edition reporter. Gary said they shot that in a way that made him look even shorter than he is. Howard played a clip where Chris was talking about the guy who took him down in the Bagel Boss. He said he doesn't like this interviewer and said the interview was over.
Howard asked if Shuli is up for this. Shuli said he is a team player. Howard said maybe he should have the guy up there. Shuli said he's raising his rate. He told Damon to pop out that checkbook. Howard said he's sure he will. Robin said they will make sure this is handled the right way.
Howard said Shuli has to train and cut out the cigarettes and weed. Gary said Cabbie and John fought and they lost money because Cabbie didn't train at all. He said he was winded after his first two punches.
Howard said he heard Don King is all upset that he missed out on this. Howard took a call from fake Chris Morgan who was yelling at Shuli about the fight and saying that no women are allowed there. Howard said he should invite the guy up there. Shuli said he should. He said he thinks that he'd have a good conversation.
Howard took a call from Balls who said that he thinks Shuli is going to win. He said he'd be wiling to put some money down. Howard said Gary doesn't think he can win. Shuli said he thinks this is Gary's ''It's a stumble'' happening again. Gary said that this isn't a cut against Shuli. He said he thinks this guy can take him down. Robin said she thought Howard could beat Nils Loftgren. Howard asked why she had to bring that up. Howard said he probably could have beat up Nils.
Howard said his money is on Shuli. He said he'd bet Gary $1000. Balls said he'll bet $100. Howard said they'll line up the guy to come in. He said he'll talk to the boxing promoter too.
Howard said he sees Brent, JD and Gary coming in. He said that they were all there. Jason said he didn't think Howard would want to come to a barbecue where they have all of this meat. Howard asked what's wrong with him. He said he heard his guest of honor was his butcher. He said he heard he was just about sucking his dick.
JD said they were playing beer pong and Jason had to stop to go to his butcher shop. Jason said he had to get over there to see something he was doing. Howard said Jason is obese and grilling animals incessantly. He said his butcher is more important to him than even he is. Gary said Jason wants to take a class to learn how to butcher an animal. Howard said when you're fat you should find a hobby that makes you thin like walking. Jason said this is his hobby. Gary said he's good at it too.
Howard said he heard he listens to a barbecue podcast. Jason said he does and there's more to talk about than you'd think. Howard said he doesn't get it.
Howard picked up on Ralph who was at the party and made a nuisance of himself at the party from what he heard. Howard said Ralph thinks he's Howard at these parties. He said he's doing the radio show. Ralph said he hadn't smoked pot in a while and he might have been annoying. He said he's sorry to anyone he may have offended. He said he didn't mean anything by what he was doing. He said he's not going to say anything else. He said this is why pot should not be legal.
Ralph asked why Brent is attacking him. Brent said he loves this stuff. He said he's not attacking him.
Howard asked what the complaints were about Ralph at the party. Jason said he didn't hear about the complaints. Howard said Ralph will always block people when they comment on his tweets. Ralph said that's what people do on Twitter.
Jason said he loves having Ralph over to his house. He said he didn't find out about the incident until about 2 weeks later. He said they had two female writers there and Ralph met them and told them over and over again that women aren't funny and attractive women can't be funny but fat women can be funny.
Howard asked why you would go to a party where you tell women that they're not funny. Howard said he thinks these women are funny. He asked if he thinks Lisa Lampanelli and Sarah Silverman are funny. Ralph said there are great stand ups out there. He said that he just read an article about women not being funny and he may have been repeating that. Howard said these women and their husbands don't wanted to hear that. Ralph said people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. He said there were people there who were inappropriate. Brent said if you're going to bring that up then just say it.
Howard said he's had Ralph at parties and he'll tell people that they're not funny and their wives should be with him. He said he has to tell him to knock it off.
Ralph said he got really high and he's sorry. Jason said he hopes they hear that and they're okay with it. Howard said Ralph puked at his house. He said he's not coming back to his house because of that.
Gary said Jason and his wife had to tell Ralph not to come into the kitchen and touch stuff. Jason said his wife wanted all plastic at the party. She told him to make sure that he tells Ralph that. Ralph said he just cooked something up that he brought. Howard said he was into barbecue for awhile. He said he had Ralph over and he saw him in the pool and he's sweating over the barbecue. He said Ralph gets out and dries off and tells him the chicken isn't hot enough. He said he told him to get the fuck out.
Ralph said he doesn't need to be there for this. Brent said that he had to tell Ralph to shut up in their Uber when he was telling the guy which way to go. He said he told him to just look at his GPS. Gary asked what Ralph's Uber rating is. Ralph said he's not sure. He said someone picked him up the other day and the guy was saying he was very nice and didn't know why his rating was so low. He said he told the guy that's because he knows where he's going.
Howard said he does evoke this intense thing. He said he has to stop with the women. Ralph said he's sorry. Howard said he's not sure it's the weed. Robin said it's bizarre behavior. JD said this started at the beginning of the party. Ralph said JD didn't show up until 7 or 8 and the party started at like 3. JD said that's not true. He said it shows how out of it he really is.
Will said he likes Ralph most of the time but he was shitting all over him. He said he was telling him that he's a terrible conversationalist.
Howard said he can't take Ralph out anywhere. He said he's the reason he met his wife and he loves him for that but he can't teach him. He said he thought keeping him from his house would teach him something. He said if he came over he was always treated really well. He said there was always an issue there. He said he never has anyone over to his house. He asked if anyone has been there. No one had.
Howard said Ralph tells these women that it's funny that they're on the show but they're not funny. Ralph said he's not going to get into what he said. He said it's over. Robin said he can't sweep it under the table.
Howard asked if he wants to apologize to them. Ralph said he's making a blanket apology. He said he doesn't have time to give individual apologies. Jason said that he was telling them this stuff and not getting a response so he looked over at their husbands. Howard said he just wants to be the center of attention. He said Ralph is actually a good dude. Gary said he has a big heart. He said when he's not that guy he's a great guy. Jason said he's fun and sensitive when he wants to be.
Brent said he hung out with Ralph on Saturday and he was a bit inappropriate there too. Ralph said that's where he was hiding from his wife eating grilled cheese. Brent said that's the one. He said that they didn't have anything else. Howard said just be a vegetarian and not a vegan. Ralph said these grilled cheese were gigantic. He said he ate like 2 of them. Brent said he wasn't hiding. He said that's all he ate all day.
Howard said he knows guys like this who eat meat behind their spouses back. Brent said he doesn't eat meat.
Howard asked if Katelyn was hitting on JD's wife. Brent said Katelyn said she wasn't. JD said his wife said she wasn't either. Jason said that's just the story he got.
Jason said JD's wife is the best guest. He said she talks to everyone and moves around the party.
Howard said he heard Benjy was upset that he wasn't invited. Jason said he had to cut the list off somewhere. He said he never invites him to anything either. He said he can only handle one high maintenance guest at a time. He said Ralph was it.
Howard said he has to change the topic for a second. He asked Brent if he thinks Shuli can beat that Bagel guy. Brent said yes. Ralph said that's an angry dude though. Howard said Brent got knocked out in 30 seconds. Brent said it was 39 seconds.
Jason said they got an update on why Brent has been passing out. Brent said it's something called vasovagal syncope. He said that the blood pools in your legs and when you stand up you can pass out. He said the cardiologist told him what to avoid doing and pot wasn't one of them. Brent said they say that 1 in 4 people have it. Ralph asked what happens to these people. Brent said that you stand up and you pass out. Ralph said it was more than that with him. He said he wasn't able to walk. He said Jason and Katelyn had to help him walk. Ralph said he was out of it for 10-15 minutes. He said he was passed out on the sidewalk. Brent said none of them are doctors. He said he's going with the cardiologist.
Howard said Brent is going to continue doing what he does. Brent said he was told to stay hydrated and watch his caffeine and alcohol intake.
Jason said he's a weed smoker and he has never seen anyone smoke like Brent. He said he's like a Superman.
Jason said that Ralph was taking weed pills at the party too. He was smoking and doing that. Howard said he's up to something there. Ralph said he wasn't.
Ralph asked what JD brought to the party. JD said his wife brought a pie. Jason said that pie blew his mind. He said it was a Pecan pie. JD asked what Ralph brought to the party. Ralph said he brought watermelon and wine.
Ralph asked what happens when Howard gets high. Howard said he doesn't get high. Robin said Ralph should know not to smoke. Ralph said he hadn't smoked pot in like a year. Brent said that's just not true. He said he has smoked with him in the past year.
Howard took a call from Apples who said that Ralph is an asshole for saying what he did to those women. Ralph said the girls do voices and they're funny. Robin said they do other things too. Ralph said he was sorry and he said he was joking. He said he already apologized for it.
Howard said poor Benjy wasn't even invited. He said he hopes he can come in there and be real. He asked if he's hurt. Benjy came in and said that he always starts with him saying he hopes he's real. He said it's embarrassing to express hurt. Howard said leave now then. Benjy said he's being real. Howard said if he does shtick he's not going to listen. Benjy said he's talking real. Benjy said he's very hurt. Howard asked when he heard about the party. Benjy said he heard rumors about it. He said he thought it was July 4th. He said he thought maybe he missed something. He said maybe it was a small thing. Howard said it wasn't that small. Everyone was there but Benjy. Howard said he's a great guy but there's no room for him. Howard said there had to be a reason. Jason said he and Benjy aren't that close. He said they're just not hanging out and not that close.
Benjy said he thought he missed the e-vite for the party. He said he did a search in his email. He said he wasn't able to find it though. He said he thought it was so weird to be ostracized like that. Jason said he's sorry about that.
Benjy said it was everyone in the office but him. Jason said there were others. He said there are a lot of names that are not on the air.
Howard said this was exciting but he has to wrap up. He said that Benjy must be doing something wrong. He said he's not looking inward. Benjy said there's no logical reason for this. Jason said Benjy has given people a hard time in the past. Howard said he invited him to a dinner one night and everyone was there on time but Benjy. Gary said Benjy showed up about 20-30 minutes late. Howard said he doesn't hate him but it was kind of a drag. He said he was a great guest but he didn't want to wait around for him. Jason said that's part of it. He said his wife loves Benjy so that's not part of it.
Howard said if you say it's them and not me then there's something going on there. Benjy said he said something to Will 11 years ago and they're still holding it against him. Ralph's phone was making a hissing noise so Howard said he has to hang up on him.
Howard said even Memet was invited to the barbecue and no one likes him there. Will said they don't think about Benjy because he's not there that often. Benjy said he's sure that his name came up. He said it's embarrassing to attack Jason over this. Jason said his name was on an alternate list. He said there were about 20 names on that list. Howard asked how many people needed to back out before that. Jason said pretty much the whole list.
Howard said maybe next year he'll get in. He said that was fun. He said Ralph apologizes to everyone. Howard asked if Fred was invited. Fred said he was not but he's not upset. Robin said she wasn't invited either.
Howard said the last time he went to Gary's house for a party it was a disaster. Gary said he had a Michelin rated chef there just for him but it was a disaster. Jason said Howard left in the middle of dinner. Howard said the guy was making them wait for dinner. He said they were just sitting around. Jason said Howard got up and shut the door for the live orchestra out on the back deck. Howard said he was cold. Gary said they were out there playing and Howard gets up and heads toward them and slams the door. Howard said it was freezing in the house. He said those people were probably out there freezing too. Howard said all he wanted to do was eat.
Howard said Gary has no ability to read the room. He said they traveled from Long Island to Connecticut and they didn't have food ready. Robin said Mary had made all of these nice desserts and Howard bailed. Howard said they were taking forever to serve the food.
Gary said that he spent a fortune for Howard to leave early, Artie to show up late and Robin to not show up at all.
Howard said he has a ton of food ready to go when he invites people over. He said Gary knows that. Howard said Gary has this quartet out on the deck and it was cold in the house. Gary said one of the guys in the quartet is a neighbor and they really didn't talk much after that. Howard said the whole thing was annoying. He said he loves him though.
Robin said they wouldn't have known about Gary's theater if Howard hadn't gone that night. Gary said it wasn't even built yet. Howard said he saw the plans though.
Benjy said it was cold that night so he got why Howard closed the door. Howard said he has to protect his health. He said he'd rather be healthy than leave the door open. He said Gary has no ability to read the room.
Gary asked when Will is going to have Howard over to his house. Will said whenever he wants. Howard said he's going to take Will out to dinner. Will thanked him for that. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said this is a beautiful song. He said he hates to interrupt it with a commercial but that's what's going to happen. He said he hates to step on someone's art. He said the song is right, the sky really is a neighborhood. He did a live commercial read a short time later.
Howard said what a feisty segment that was. Robin said she wasn't able to stop laughing. Howard said it's time for news. They played Robin into it with a song parody about her.
Robin started her news talking about how learning a language is something Howard missed. Robin said they're now saying that a new Japanese innovation has made it possible to have an instant translator. Robin said it can translate 40 languages with a few finger taps. Robin said you don't need to know another language to talk to people. Howard said soon he'll be able to understand JD. He said that's good news. Robin said it's wonderful.
Robin read a story about a Grand Master chess champion who was caught cheating. Robin said he would go off to the bathroom and use his smart phone to cheat. Robin said an investigation has been started. She said that the guy claims he lost his mind during that game and that was likely his last game of chess.
Robin read a story about this bottle cap challenge that's going on. Robin said you have to do a round house kick to take the cap off. Howard said he thinks he saw Kendall Jenner doing it. He said she did a good job with it. Robin said there are a lot of people doing it. She said some people are annoyed by it and some are getting into it. Robin said Mariah Carey ended the whole thing by getting into a stance like she was going to do this roundhouse kick and then she did this. Robin had a clip of her hitting a high note. Robin said the cap came off when she did that. Howard said Snoop Dogg was against that challenge. He said he has a clip somewhere. He said Snoop is very vocal on his feed. Howard played the clip and Snoop said it's a dumb ass challenge. He said how about picking up a mother fucking phone and say ''shut the fuck up, bitch.'' Howard said he's with him on not liking that whole thing.
Robin read a story about Procter & Gamble saying that they're going to give a $529,000 donation to a team player foundation. Robin had Snoop commenting on that too.
Robin read a story about Valerie Harper who has cancer and her husband is starting a GoFundMe to raise money for her treatment. Robin said she has around the clock care at this point. Robin said this is not covered by insurance. Howard said he has a secret word with her so when she does die he can go to clairvoyants and find out if they can contact her. He said he has that word written down.
Robin read a story about Peter North who is one of Richard's favorite porn stars. Howard said Richard likes him because he shoots thick ropes. Robin said he keeps getting arrested for beating the hell out of his wife. Robin said now she's getting an order of protection against him. Robin said cops say he roughed up his wife in June on two occasions. She said he was arrested and released on bail. Robin had some clips of his sounds for Howard to play. Howard said Richard's heart is broken over this. Howard played some audio of Peter North moaning. Howard said no guy moans like that in real life. He said no one wants to hear that. He said he doesn't do that. He doesn't make a sound. He said Richard likes it when guys moan.
Robin read a story about someone in Israel is saying all dogs are bad and all dog owners are cursed. Robin said religion can be a little strange.
Robin read a story about the Disney family being in the news. Robin said the granddaughter of Roy Disney is upset with the low wages at the Disney parks. Robin said she went under cover there and said that she has sent a letter to Bob Iger but has not received a response.
Robin read a story about the grand nephew of Roy Disney helped save some people from drowning. Robin said he spotted them when they were taking on water. Robin said he used his own sailboat to rescue people. Howard said he worked for Roy Disney when he worked at WWWW. He said he was the owner of the station. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a blackout in New York City over the weekend. Robin said the power company says it was a broken piece of equipment. Howard said he was surprised that famous people are affected by that kind of thing. He said he was affected. Robin said Jennifer Lopez was performing at Madison Square Garden and they had to clear out the building. Robin said they made up the show last night and it went off without a glitch. Robin said they had to close 26 shows on Broadway that night. Robin said they had a $4 million drop with the plays because of that blackout. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Utah Choir coming to Carnegie Hall when the blackout happened. Robin said they went outside and performed instead. Robin had some audio of them out on the street.
Robin read a story about Kristin Davis going on the Jada Pinkett Smith podcast and she was talking about her 2 black children and how she has to face racism every day. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about how awful people can be.
Robin brought up President Trump and how his wife never seems to do anything when he's tweeting out racist things. Howard said he thinks she's tuned out the whole thing.
Robin said Joe Biden was on the news yesterday talking about how Trump's behavior is shameful. Howard had some clips to play. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin had some audio of Ilhan Omar responding to some of President Trump's recent tweets. Howard played that clip. Robin said she was pointing out that criticizing this country is a right that everyone has.
Robin read a story about R. Kelly and his recent arrest. Robin said Jeffrey Epstein is still in jail as well as R. Kelly. Robin said they say that Epstein had wads of cash stashed in his apartment. They also found a passport and a phony name so they believe he might be a flight risk.
Robin read a story about Macy Gray giving some people some concern when she had some odd behavior during an interview in London. Robin had some audio of her talking about how she's a vampire and she runs out of blood every couple of days. Howard said she was making a joke. Robin said she hopes so. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about the big day they have coming up today. He said they're all listening to SiriusXM-Pandora. Robin said they should just go to SXMP. Howard said he agrees.
Howard said they have a big show today with Kim Goldman coming in. He said her brother was butchered and they are going to have her in to remind everyone about OJ Simpson since he's been tweeting lately. Howard said Ron was only 25 years old and he was actually a person. He said she'll be talking about what kind of guy he was. Robin said if you landed on this planet and heard OJ's tweets you'd think he was a normal person. Howard did his impression of OJ doing his video tweets. Howard said he has pictures on his computer to remind him that they're in show business. He said he has a picture of him with OJ at Trump's wedding. He said that stuff reminds him of show business. He said he never feels famous. Robin said that's not true. Robin said he acts like a famous person. Howard said he just acts like himself. Robin said he walks around with bodyguards and he doesn't go on the regular elevator. Howard said he has the bodyguards because he has this fear from growing up in Roosevelt.
Howard said he just heard about someone who rides the subway. Gary said it was Jake Gyllenhaal. Howard said Bradley Cooper does too. He said there are a lot of famous guys who doe that. He said Kate McKinnon does too. He said there are a lot of famous people who do that.
Howard said he has a paranoia about the world so he has to have bodyguards. Robin asked where she's sitting at the basketball game. Howard said that's not fame. He just doesn't want to be embarrassed. He said he doesn't feel famous. He said Andy Cohen and Sarah Silverman take the subway too.
Howard said the reason he's having Kim Goldman on the show is because of OJ. He said she's tried to remind people that her brother is a human being. He said that's the problem with OJ. He said Ron was butchered and murdered. He said Nicole Brown Simpson was murdered too. He said you tend to forget about that when you hear OJ talking in his Tweets. He said they'll give everyone a refresher about Ron today. Robin said those people's lives were stopped on that night. Howard said you never know what kind of life OJ is really having but he's out there on the golf course looking fit. He said he's basically surrounded by beauty. He said it all looks pretty good.
Howard said he has a clip of OJ talking about his birthday. Howard started it and OJ sounds like he just hit a golf ball and he's being interrupted by ''Twitter world.'' Howard said he's not in the middle of anything. He did his impression of OJ and talked about what a care free life he's having. Howard said all Ron did was bring Nicole some glasses that she left in a restaurant. He said he was collateral damage. Howard said OJ is a fucking asshole.
Robin said someone has to be there to remind people who Mark David Chapman is so Yoko is there whenever he's up for parole. Howard said that's what they need to do with OJ. He said when he's talking to Kim she won't say OJ. She will say the ''murdering liar'' or something like that. Howard said he will go along with that too. He said that's coming up later in the show so they will deal with that later.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she's not upbeat this morning. She said that she's not sure why he has a platform on Twitter. She said he murdered 2 people and how can this be happening in 2019. Howard said they'll talk to Kim about that today.
Mariann said it blew her mind that OJ is on Twitter. She said she just wants to hear about Kim Goldman. Howard said the letters Mariann writes to the NY Daily News are very good. He said she's defended him on things in the past. He said he likes that part of the Daily News. He said the letters to the editor are very good. Howard let Mariann go before she could get worked up.
Howard said he was reading the letters to the editor in the NY Daily News and the people who write in are very articulate. He said some people were writing in about Harlem and not being cleaned up. He said that someone wrote in about Trump telling people to go back to where they came from but Trump is the son of an immigrant. He said this person is a really good writer. He said people are really articulate. He said he has never written to a paper before. He said it's generally impressive the letters people write to the editor.
Robin said she finds it sad that he's impressed. She said he shouldn't be impressed with being articulate. She said it should be a given in this country. Howard said it's a bow to the number of articulate people. Robin said if you expect something then you're not impressed with it. Robin said she's just wondering why that's impressive. Howard asked what he's allowed to be impressed by. Fred was playing clips of Sal screwing up pronouncing words as they were talking about that. Howard said he just thought there were some smart people out there.
Howard said this guy Epstein was out and there's a lot of blame going around. He said he was supposed to check in with his parole officer and he didn't do that. He said they would let him out of jail for 6 days a week so he could work. He said at work he was having a shitload of girls visiting him. He said this guy was such a sexed up addict. He said this is sex addiction. He said you can't want it that much if you just got out of jail. He said he's got a problem.
Howard said that's like a guy who does coke and gets out of jail and does coke again. He said it's like Anthony Weiner who can't keep himself off the internet. He said here is such a thing as a time out from pussy. He said it can be done.
Robin said the prosecutors in the R. Kelly case say they have video. She said there is no question it is R. Kelly and he's having sex and then humiliating a 14 year old girl. Robin said there is no guarantee that he won't break the law while he's on parole or whatever he gets. Robin said they want him to stay locked up until he goes to court.
Robin said everyone but Emilia Clarke got nominated. Howard said the wired thing about that is that Kit Harrington got the Best Actor nomination and Peter Dinklage got a best supporting actor. He said he doesn't get that. He said it must be because he's a little person. He said Peter was that whole show. Jon Hein said that he's always been nominated for supporting actor. Howard said he's the Al Sharpton for little people. He said it's not fair to Peter. He said he is the star of that show.
Robin said she thinks they go by Heroin and Hero. Robin said Kit was the hero. Howard said lead actor can be a bad guy too. Robin said Peter wasn't a bad guy. Howard said he was a lead! He told Robin to stop it. Howard said how about Bagel Boss Guy vs. Peter Dinklage.
Howard said they give Emmys to the late night shows too and Jimmy Fallon was left out again. Jon said it's the second year in a row. Howard said he's not sure what's up with that. Jon said all of the late night guys got nominated other than Jimmy. Howard asked if this started around the time Jimmy rubbed Trump's hair. Jon wasn't sure. Howard said everyone else was nominated. He said everyone but Jimmy and Busy Tonight.
Howard said if Jimmy is listening he should call in to talk about this. He said he wants to know how he feels. He said Bill Maher wasn't nominated either. He said it is a talk show. Jon said that's the other thing with the Emmys. He said they have a wide enough range that everyone can be nominated. Howard said there will not be a host this year either. Jon said he doesn't think they need it.
Gary asked Jon if there is a limit on the number of nominations for the late night shows. Jon said no. He said some categories go on and on. He said there is no consistency at all. He said that's not why the Tonight Show was not nominated.
Howard went into his agent character and asked if the Khaleesi wasn't nominated. Jon said she actually was. He said she was nominated for Best Actress. Howard, as the Agent, said how about his client getting nominated. Howard did his agent for a short time talking about that and Millie Bobby Brown. Howard asked what his name is. Robin said she forgets. She said someone has to go look that up. Howard said he thinks it's Marty Gold or something. He said he doesn't like that name. He said it should be something else. He said he'll remember it.
Jon said they have another category where they have Jerry Seinfeld's show and Letterman's shows on Netflix. He said it's a crazy name for the category. Robin said they change them every year. Jon said Springsteen was nominated for his special too.
Howard said maybe his name is Larry Shier. He said that sounds like a real name. Fred said he represents Gayle King and a few others. Howard went back into character and spent a short time talking about his clients.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he agrees with him about Peter Dinklage. He said he was in more episodes than anyone else in Game of Thrones. He said even more than Kit Harrington. Howard said it's discrimination. He said he's calling for equality for little people. He asked why they have to be diminished. Howard said he got the short end of the stick and no pun was intended.
Howard said Beth was asked to be a housewife of New York and for Beverly Hills. He said they had to remind the producers that they don't even live out there. He said if he was a complete idiot and wanted to do that he'd do it on his own. He said he'd have his own production company. He said those women don't get paid shit to do that show. He said they desperately want to be famous for whatever reason.
Robin said she saw an interview with Kelsey Grammer and he was asked about being on that show. Howard said he got divorced when she showed up on that show. Robin said he had to make a certain number of appearances on that show as part of the settlement. Robin said she said she had to give up so much to marry him that she made him do that.
Howard said he has some audio of Camille Grammer talking about her house burning down in the wild fires. He said Andy asked if Kelsey had reached out to her and she said no he hasn't. Howard played a clip from the show where Camille said he didn't reach out. Howard said she has bad mouthed him to no end so it's no wonder he didn't reach out. He said she had that house because of Kelsey. Howard asked why he'd reach out to her?>
Howard had another clip of Camille talking about how forgetful it was being in bed with Kelsey. He had another clip of her talking about what a terrible kisser he was. She also insinuated he had a small penis. Howard said she also said she used a strap on with her ex. Howard played that clip too.
Howard said you wonder why Kelsey won't talk to her. He said she's constantly bad mouthing the guy on this show. He said that's why he won't check in with her.
Howard said as a fan of Beverly Housewives he's glad that Camille is back on. He said she came back and saved the show. He said he was getting bored with it but she's back and fighting with everyone and making it good again. He said he needs to see rich people fight.
Howard said bravo to Andy for putting that on the air. He said that's one of his two favorite shows on the air. He said it's that and The Bachelor.
Howard said he feels bad for Jimmy Fallon. He said there's something up there. He said the guy is talented and just as talented as everyone else. Robin said it's like Benjy being left out of Jason's barbecue. Howard said he felt bad for him and gave him a pat on the shoulder.
Howard said someone who is angry about this Fallon thing is Bruce Banner. He took a call from him and The Hulk was in the process of changing. He went off on the Emmy people for not nominating Jimmy Fallon. Hulk went back to Bruce Banner and said he was happy to see Samantha Bee nominated. Howard asked him about Jimmy Fallon again and he turned back into an angry Hulk.
Howard said he loves when he's calm and then all of a sudden he's the Hulk. He said he loved the Hulk on TV. He said Bill Bixby rest in peace. He said it was so great when he went from bill Bixby and turned into Lou Ferrigno. He said they should have had an actor who looked like Bill Bixby or the other way around. He said it was so great when his shirt and pants would rip but his cock would never come out. Robin said his waist always stayed the same.
Howard said Bill was on the show The Courtship of Eddie's Father and then he was The Hulk. Robin said he was on My Favorite Martian too. She said he had quite a career. Howard said the Hulk was so good. He said he loved the stuff that got him upset. He said he'd have horrible things happen and he'd be fine but then something dumb would happen and he'd get angry.
Howard said Stan Lee said that the Hulk was supposed to be completely unleashed Id. He said they didn't make it like that on the TV show but it lasted a few years.
Howard took a call from a woman who thanked him for mentioning the movie called ''The Man who Killed Hitler and then Killed Bigfoot.'' Howard said it's the best. He said Sam Elliott was playing it like he was trying to win an Oscar. He said you'll never win one for that but it was good. He said it's an awesome movie. Howard said the only guy who can kill Bigfoot is Sam Elliott. He said he didn't know this about Bigfoot but he has a power where everyone dies around him. He said Sam Elliott's character has to go in and kill him. He said they never explained how he was immune to Bigfoot in the movie.
Howard said he took a nap after the show but then they were doing more construction. He said they take should a break from 11:30 to 12:30. He said he just needs to get some sleep there at work. He said Gary can sleep through anything. He said he slept right through the show.
Howard said they had a meeting after his nap. He said that went until like 2:30. He said there was a lot of yapping and talking. He said they have a great crew there. He said they got together and talked about stuff for the radio show. He said they have a lot planned for the show.
Howard said Fred wasn't here. He said he's sure he's creating something for the show. Fred said he didn't realize his attendance was required. Howard said it would have been nice if he was there. He said he gave his state of the radio show address. Fred said he's sorry he missed it.
Howard said Fred is grand fathered in so he doesn't have to go to meetings. Robin said she thought he went to all of them. Howard said he asked if the staff had anything to say and Benjy got up. He said Benjy said he got up and said he looks good because he lost some weight. Robin asked what that's about. Howard said he talked about possibly getting a Peloton. Fred said you can get an app for that and not use their bike. Gary said it won't work the way you want it to. Fred said you'll get an idea of how it works. Howard said he's sorry he got into this.
Howard said he was offered a Peloton bike a while ago but he turned it down. He said he'd hate to buy it and then have it collect dust. He said he'd like to try one for a week to see if he'd use it.
Howard said he and Robin will be talking about cancer and stuff and he'll turn it to himself. He said she's going to outlive him so calm down. Robin said they had a conversation a few weeks ago and she left shaking. Howard said he called to cheer her up. He said he tells her how miserable he is and that makes her feel better. Robin said it was so dark. Howard asked what it was about. Robin said it was his view of the world. She said he went off on a tangent about what the world is like for him now with this political situation. She said he thinks everything is out of control and no one is at the rudder. Howard said it's true. He said he's pretty pissed off. Robin said she didn't want to stay there. Howard said he is really worried about this country.
Howard said that was meant to cheer her up. Robin said it sounds very depressing to her. Howard said he makes it sound like it wouldn't be so bad to die. He said he has to take a break and then they'll be on fire. He went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from a woman who said she knows he goes to bed early but has anyone showed him the show ''Bring the Funny.'' Howard said no. The caller said she was watching it last night and there was a puppeteer on there and she wondered if he saw it because it was interesting to see him doing it all with a puppet. Howard said he's not sure what she's talking about. Howard said it doesn't sound all that novel to him. Robin said the others were just doing stand up. Howard said based on what she said he's never going to watch the show. She said she wouldn't recommend the show. She said she's nervous so she was rambling.
Howard said this guy never shows his face. The caller, Brooke, said that's right. Howard said it's the whole time. Brooke said that's right. Howard asked if Brooke has a job. Brooke said she does. She said she's a house painter. Howard said that's some hard work.
Howard said they do have to mention that Brooke inhales a lot of paint fumes. Brooke mentioned that she just read his book (Howard Stern Comes Again) and read some articles about him. Howard said she sounds hot. Brooke said some people would say she is. She said she doesn't really wear sexy clothes. She said she is thin. Howard said he's going to hang up because her phone line is breaking up. He said he wanted to ask if anyone ever comes on to her while she's working. He said she's obviously a seductress.
Howard said Fred also works puppets and he never gets seen. Howard said Fred does a great job with the puppets. He said they were supposed to get new ones. He asked what happened with that. Fred said they take time. Howard said they must if they haven't seen them in 6 months. He said they don't seem that intricate. Jason said they just came in yesterday afternoon. He said they haven't opened them yet. Jason said they didn't want to just drop them in on the show. Fred said they're also making a puppet coat rack. Jason said they take 6-8 weeks to make and now they have a Bobo and Tan Mom puppet. He said they have 2 more in the works.
Howard said the guy does a great job. Jason said he's working on 8 puppets and these are the first two to come in.
Howard said there was a guy who was smuggling cocaine in his toupee. He said his hair looked like a balloon on his head. He said you have to see the picture in the NY Post. He said they say ''What a Coke Head'' as the headline. Howard showed Robin the picture and said the guy's hair wasn't even attached to his head. Howard read the article about the guy and how he got caught. He was trying to smuggle half a kilo of cocaine under his wig. He said the toupee wasn't attached. He said it looks like a bag of coke stuck to his head. He said he just plopped the toupee on top of that.
Howard said Fred has the Bobo puppet. Fred did his Bobo voice and worked the puppet. They have the 9/12 jacket on him. Bobo had his turquoise jewelry and ear ring too. Robin said he got Bobo's teeth right too. Howard asked if the hair removes. Fred said it does. He took the toupee off. Howard asked if he has lesions on his head. Robin said yes. Howard said this guy is good. Fred said he even has the hair with a mullet. Howard said he likes that.
Howard said he wants to see the Tan Mom puppet. Gary said it's coming in now. Shuli came in to work the puppet. Shuli did his Tan Mom voice and had her working the tanning gun in her hand. Howard questioned the puppets so they'd have a conversation. Robin wanted to take a look at the puppet. Tan Mom asked when she is. Robin said she knows her. Tan Mom puppet was talking about her husband and calling her Loser Breath. Bobo Puppet was talking about grabbing the lesions on Tan Mom's chest. He wanted to go grab them.
Howard asked Tan Mom puppet to sing for them. Shuli did his thing with her singing her song for a second.
Howard asked Bobo puppet some questions. He said the real Bobo is excited about this. He picked up on him and Bobo said he's very excited about this. Fred Bobo said it was a great show until he called. Howard said Bobo just called in and ruined the Bobo Puppet bit. Howard said even Bobo puppet doesn't like Bobo. Howard said he's going to play a Bobo song for Bobo Puppet right now. He played a song parody where they sing about hanging up on Bobo right now.
Howard said he's going to get the puppets up on the app today. Bobo said this guy is amazing with the puppets. Robin said he hasn't even seen it yet. Bobo said he was talking about the other ones he's seen. Howard asked Tan Mom puppet some more questions and said they have to have a Sal Puppet so they can make out. Howard had Bobo and Tan Mom puppets make out with each other. Fred Bobo said he was sucking on her lip like JD did to Will's wife.
Tan Mom's boob was out after that make out. Howard said the puppets are made by David Fino. He said he does a great job.
Howard said Bobo gets dressed up to come in there. He said the puppet is dressed like that. Howard asked Bobo what's up with the jewelry he wears. Bobo said he has some stuff made of turquoise. Bobo said he got some at the Indian Pow Wow out on Long Island. Howard said he thinks real native American's wouldn't call it a Pow Wow. Bobo said they really do. Howard said he doesn't think so.
Howard said he loves that the toupee on the puppet moves all around his head. Robin said it's always in the wrong spot.
Howard said Bobo's favorite thing is turquoise. Howard asked him to spell it. Bobo tried spelling it and it was like ''Torquise.'' Howard said that's pretty close. Robin said that's close but no cigar. Howard corrected Bobo on his spelling. Bobo said his favorite thing is the watch he had made. He said it took about an hour to make that.
Bobo told a story about going to this Pow Wow thing and Bobo Puppet said they gave him the name ''Fucks with Vacuum Cleaner.'' Bobo asked if they put the lesions on the puppet. Robin said he knows they did. Howard had him asking if they have his 9/12 jacket on. Shuli had him asking if it has a removable hair piece. Fred had him asking if it has all of the stuff they already talked about it having. Howard let Bobo go after that. Bobo puppet told him to go back to the wigwam.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the Bobo puppet is great but he has to hang up on Bobo. Howard said you kind of need Bobo for this. Shuli said it leads to other stuff. Bobo puppet said unlike the real Bobo he doesn't have the ability to kill the show. Bobo puppet and Bobo were arguing about where to put your hands on the steering wheel of a car. Bobo said that it used to be at 10 and 2 but now it's 9 and 3 because of air bags. He said you'll get a broken nose if you keep them at 10 and 2 and the airbag goes off.
Bobo said he got a head piece for his son at an Indian thing once. Shuli said Bobo once told him that he had 53 students pass in a row for him. He said then he said he doesn't count the people who fail. He said he doesn't take credit for the people who failed but he does for the passes. Bobo said that's because it was their fault they failed.
Howard asked Bobo if he went to see the dancing at the Indian Pow Wow after midnight. Bobo said he did. He said it's late at night with the full moon out.
Howard said Bobo's rap to Shuli was that 100 percent of his students passed other than the students who failed. Bobo said that he has a 100 percent passing rate. Howard said if he has any that fail then he has a failure rate. Bobo said right. Shuli said the other move Bobo has is that if someone is taking a driving test he will critique their driving to the parents. He said he talks shit to them. Bobo said that he will tell them if the score is low that he wouldn't let them pass. He said they ask who he is and he tells them that he's an instructor. Howard said he's the local douche. Fred said Bobo is the Jeffrey Epstein of driving instructors.
Bobo said that they pass people too easily down there in Florida. He said that you go out and kill yourself if you're not trained correctly by someone like him... case closed.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was bummed when he heard he was getting a Bobo puppet. He said this is going to be a nightmare. He said it's hard to make Bobo interesting. Howard said he's delighted with the puppets. He said he thinks you'll be impressed if you see them on the app.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him he was thinking ''get this fucking moron off the radio'' but then he thinks about how this is radio gold.
Howard said he has to keep the show on time but he wanted to take the puppets for a test drive. Howard let Bobo go after that. Robin said Bobo is so inauthentic. She said he's asking questions that they already know the answer for. She said he asked if the puppet has lesions. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard said he didn't know much about music even though he was a DJ. He said he lived the music and listened to all of the albums. Howard said he spent many years on the road as a DJ playing this stuff. He said he had to pull records and pick songs to play.
Howard let out a belch. He said this guy on FOX 23 News and brought the show to a halt. Howard played the clip of the guy letting out the belch and then it goes silent. Howard said one of the theories was that it was probably pre-taped and the engineer cued up the wrong one.
Howard played the clip again and said he can imagine the director yelling at them to move on to something else.
Howard said it's bagel Wednesday around there. He said it's a nice thing to do for the troops around there. He said they get some bagels and it's not a big deal. He said he walked out there and saw all of them were gone. He said the only thing laying there was like the dough from the middle of one. He said he said to everyone that if they're going to eat a bagel then just throw out the part you don't eat. He said he did some investigating and found out who it was. He asked Robin who she thinks it was. Robin said Benjy. Howard said it's not Benjy. He said it was Sal. He said have some class.
Howard said he doesn't want to spend a lot of time on this but he has to ask who he thinks is going to clean that up. JD said they can't find Sal. Sal came walking in.
Gary said he has no idea why he's there. Howard asked Sal why he left the remnants there. Sal said he doesn't leave it there. Howard said he took a picture himself. Sal said he threw it out. Howard said it's his bagel remnants. Sal said he is extremely respectful of cleaning. He said he always cleans up. He said he's on a diet and he scooped out the middle. He said 90 percent of the time he throws it out. Howard told him to get out. He said he's a maniac.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she met her fiancee and the reason they met is because they are both Howard Stern fans. Howard said congratulations. The caller thanked him very much. Howard asked if Robin cared about that. Robin said no. Howard said that's how JD got married. He said he was on the radio and met his wife and now they're married. Robin said that's how the staff got married. Howard said that's how Fred got married.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it's good he didn't go to Italy. He said it was like 95 degrees out all week. Howard said he was supposed to go with Jimmy and Molly. He said he's glad he didn't go. He said Jimmy went to France instead. He said he sent him a nice Watercolor book from France. He said he stayed home and did nothing and felt revitalized from that. He said if he had gone to Italy he would have felt miserable. He said he was so fucking happy he didn't go.
Howard asked the caller how much money he spent out there going to Italy. The caller said it was probably like 25 grand. Howard thanked him for the reminder. He let the caller go after that.
Howard said there was no way he was going to Italy. He said Jimmy didn't even go to Italy. He said he went to France instead. Howard said he did them a favor by getting them out of that trip too. He said he missed seeing them though. He said he was so happy on his vacation. He said so was his wife. He said they had a great time taking walks and eating some great food. He said they slept in and they were just happy in their own bed. Howard said he hates to travel. Robin said Beth doesn't mind traveling. Howard said she hates traveling with him. He said she's fine on her own. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he has Kim Goldman coming in. He said he invited her there because her brother was killed. Howard said he really feels for her and her family. Howard said he was so glad when he found out she was coming in. He asked if she has heard the OJ tweets. She said that she can stomach it but she has a hard time with it. Howard said it has to be maddening when you hear it. Kim said when you hear him laughing and chuckling. She said she thinks about his rage and violence when she hears that.
Howard said Ron was only 25 years old when he was murdered. He said Nicole was only 35. He said they didn't get to live their lives. Howard said OJ is out there talking about football and bullshit. He said it's just weird. Howard said he heard Oprah told her to just move on. He asked how you can move on. Kim said she wanted to ask Oprah why she would say that. She said she was disappointed by that. She said they did a book about what it would have been like if OJ had done it. It was called If I did it : Confessions of the Killer. Kim said it was really important of them to retain the integrity of the book. She said he did the book on the down low and he was going to try to make money off of it. they got the rights to it from a court order. She said they were promoting that when Oprah asked her that question about getting over it.
Howard asked Kim how old she was when this all happened. Kim said she was 23. She said she was in school at the time. Kim said she moved home during the trial. Howard asked if this ruined her relationship with her boyfriend. She said it did. She said it ruined it for her friendships too. She said that someone they loved was grieving and struggling and she didn't know how to ask for help. She said it's hard to be of service to someone when you don't know how to help.
Howard asked how her romantic relationships were affected after this. He said it must have screwed her up. Kim said she had some trouble with it and one guy broke into tears when he realized he couldn't save her. She said some guys wanted to be her hero. Howard said one guy said to her that he'd have to play golf with OJ if he asked him to. Howard said that's just weird to say. Howard asked if he was trying to hurt her. Kim said some people are fascinated by him. She said some people just want the moment. She said some people take selfies with him and she's disgusted by that. She said that she doesn't mind the people who go on and harass him. She said she appreciates that.
Kim said there are some people who think she should just leave him alone and she's like ''No. Why?'' She said she's not going to leave it alone.
Howard asked Kim to tell him about Ron. She said they were tight. Kim said it was back in the 70s when their parents divorced. She said her father got custody. She said they felt happier with him and her mom didn't put up a fight. She said she did kidnap them near the end of their time with their dad. Howard asked what that was about. Kim said her mom told them that their dad didn't want them anymore. Howard asked if she's still alive now. She said she's not sure. She said she did show up when her brother died. She said she came to the trial a couple of times. She said she also told the press that their dad had brainwashed them and that just wasn't true.
Kim said her mom refused to sign the papers to bury her brother so that was another issue. She said she was so confused by everything and she didn't know what to do. She said she didn't want another legal battle but she finally relented and let them move forward. Howard said that's a weird thing to deal with too.
Kim said she wanted a mom and she was the one who would go aback to her. Howard said everyone wants a mom. Howard said it has to be tough to not have her mom there. He said you know she's out there but she's not there for her. Kim said she might have yearned for her more if she had a relationship with her. She said she lost her brother and she watched her dad fall apart. She said that it was tough to see her dad falling apart. She said he was incoherent and wasn't able to put a sentence together.
Howard said he remembers seeing her dad and he seemed like he was real close to her brother. Kim said her dad did the best he could. He said her brother would walk her home from school and they'd thank their dad for being there for them. Howard asked if their dad is remarried. Kim said he's on his third marriage.
Howard said it seems like her brother was there for her. He said he was the key to her life. Kim said he was her protector. She said he always looked out for her. Howard asked what his goal in life was. Kim said when he died he wanted to open a restaurant. She said he had plans to present to their dad. She said they were supposed to get together the weekend after he died. Howard said he had model looks. Kim said that he had taken some pictures for a friend and they thought he wanted to be a model but that's not what he was trying to do. She said that he was trying to make ends meet. She said he was just coming into his own when he died.
Kim said that there was a source of tension between Ron and their dad. She said that they had a tense relationship because their dad had high expectations for them.
Howard said there was a bad car accident at some point in her life. Kim said she was turning 14 in about 6 days when it happened. She said that they were driving back to their place and a car coming down the street was a drunk driver. She said he hit a tree and then his battery flew out and went through their window and the battery acid burned her. She said she was blinded for a few days. She said she remembers being soaking wet and her vision going blank. She said her brother and dad were screaming for help and an ambulance was there and came down and started flushing her eyes. She said the battery came through the passenger side of the car. Howard said what a fluke that was. He said she's covered in battery acid and her brother pulled her out of the car.
Kim said it was overlooked a lot that her brother wasn't having an affair with Nicole. Howard said Nicole's mother had left her glasses at the restaurant that Ron worked at and he brought them back to her when he was killed. Howard said Kim thinks that he walked in on them. Kim said they think Ron walked up on something happening and he got involved and that got him killed. Kim said they found Ron's blood on Nicole so they think he was killed first. She said that they think that she was pushed and fell on the steps. Howard said they think Ron was killed first and then the killer went back and killed Nicole. Kim said they think that Ron was alive for about a minute and he may have seen this murderer killing Nicole.
Howard said Ron had defensive wounds on him. Kim said he had 30 stab wounds. Howard said Kim didn't have any idea who OJ even was. Kim didn't know it was her brother until the next day. She said it was the following Monday that they informed them. She said once they found out who Ron was they had to call and find someone to inform. She said her step mom, Patty, came home and heard all of these messages on the answering machine. She said she eventually called and found out that it was Ron who was killed. Kim said that Patty didn't know what was being told to her. She said then her dad walked in and got on the phone. She said that her dad heard everything that had gone on and knew about the story. She said then he found out that it was his son. Kim said they told him that he didn't have to identify the body because he was already identified.
Kim said she saw the news coverage of the murders and she saw the bodies being wheeled away. She said then she got home from work that night and her father called her. She said he told her boyfriend to be there with her. She said Joe was looking all weird when she got home. She said then she realized what he had to deal with.
Howard asked if she believes in the death penalty. Kim said she doesn't anymore. She said she thinks everyone can be rehabilitated.
Howard said he heard that Kim saw OJ walking across the parking lot once and wanted to hit him in her car. Kim said she did. She said she could have taken him out right there. She said no one would have known. She said she couldn't do that to her dad. She said that anyone who experiences loss does have those thoughts. She said that a lot of people have had that.
Howard asked how sicked she was when she saw people celebrating the outcome. Kim said she gets his family cheering. She said that Johnny Cochran leaned over to her and said ''Gotcha'' so there was a lot going on. She said the jury was still in there. Howard said what a scum bag move that was. Kim said that she has wrestled with this for 25 years. She said this is one of those situations where you have a defense in court but she doesn't have to respect it. She said what they did was beyond reproach. She said that was the tip of the iceberg.
Howard asked Kim who she holds most responsible. He said there were the prosecutors and Judge Ito. Howard said he was very celebrity conscious. He said that doesn't make him a bad judge but who does she thinks let her down. Kim said she thinks that it starts with the judge. She said she thinks he was enamored with the cameras. She said that he lost complete control of the court room.
Howard said there was someone who raised his fist in court like it was the black power sign. Kim said that guy is on her podcast and he talks about that. She said he claims it was something else. Howard said her Podcast is called ''Confronting OJ Simpson.'' He said it's available where podcasts are available.
Howard asked Kim about why the jury did what they did. Kim said they were just done being sequestered for so long. She said they just decided to get out of there by agreeing to say not guilty.
Howard asked Kim about being called to Jury Duty. Kim said she was having a panic attack when that happened. She said she was back in the building after the acquittal and it as too much for her. She said she got into the jury box and then the defense called her to the side and asked if she was having a hard time being there. She said she was and they let her out of it. She said the judge took her off the jury list downtown. She said she thinks everyone should go to jury duty though.
Howard asked if she was happy when Johnny Cochran died. Kim said she can't say she was sad. She said it's a hard thing. She said she can't expend so much energy hating. She said she does get pissed and angry at times but she doesn't spend her days trying to get people. She said she has targeted anger toward certain people.
Howard said Robert Kardashian is one of the people in the case. He said he's the father of these Kardashians who are so famous now. Kim said she doesn't know much about them. She said that they were made part of the FX Series but they really had nothing to do with the case. She said that she thinks that he had more information about the case and he looked stunned when the verdict came down. She said that he was stuck with that guy after that.
Howard asked what it was like when OJ was putting on that glove. Kim said it was tough. Howard said it was an awful theatrical performance. Kim said he had his hands like a claw trying to put it on. She said that he was also talking to the jury and said ''See, nothing to see here.'' Howard asked if she thinks Marcia Clark and Chris Darden did their jobs. Kim said she has had them on her podcast. She said that she has had a lot of people on the podcast who said there was evidence that wasn't put in. She said that there was someone who saw the killer put trash in a trash bag. She said Marcia didn't think they were credible. She said she's not sure exactly why.
Howard asked if she would have OJ on her podcast. Kim said she reached out to him and wanted to see him behind bars. Howard asked if it was satisfying to her when he was behind bars for another crime. Kim said she wanted more but she was grateful that he went away for a little bit. Howard asked if she felt some relief. She said she did. She said when he was out free she had some anxiety. Then it came back when he got out on parole. She said that he commands so much attention. Kim said it's not normal.
Howard said it appears OJ still has plenty of money and they haven't gotten much of the $33 million settlement. Kim said a lot of that went to pay off things they owed money on. She said the system protects him from having to pay them. She said he was living in Florida and he did everything under the table. She said they get some residual checks from something.
Howard said they call the Goldmans the ''Greedy Goldmans'' on Twitter. Kim said that's what the murderer calls them. He said they should get over it and they're living off the OJ Simpson gravy train. She said he also says that they can't call it a murder and that it's a homicide.
Howard asked Kim what she did when OJ went to prison. Kim said she sent him some letters and tried to appeal to his softer side. She said she wrote to him and she assumes he got them. She said she spoke to his attorney and they had some conversations about how things would go. She said they were worried about her safety in there. She said he also wanted her to sign an NDA and she said no to that. Howard said they said she could talk to the guy if she signed an NDA. He said if he had said something to her that he had done it then she wouldn't be able to say anything about it. Kim said that's essentially what they told her. She said if he told her that he did it she wouldn't be able to tell anyone. Kim said they also feared for her safety.
Howard asked Kim if she thinks that he has any remorse. Kim said no. Howard asked if she thinks he thinks he's innocent. Kim said she's not a psychotic person so she can't understand the psychotic brain. Kim said that OJ puts himself in the scene and did that for the book. She said she doesn't know if he thinks he pulled the wool over everyone's eyes or what. She said he has never showed any remorse toward her and her family and how brave her brother was. She said he tried to save the mother of his children. She said that's what he should be thinking.
Howard asked if they have reached out to him to do her podcast. Kim said they have through his lawyers. She said she has dreamt and thought about things but she's not sure she wants to say what she'd like to say to him. Howard said he wonders what she would say. Kim asked what he would say. Howard said if he had to confront someone who killed a brother or sister he's not sure he could be in the same room with him. He said the situation is so frustrating. He said it's so fucked up that he wouldn't be coherent. He said he'd want to kill him. He said his anger and rage would be too great. Howard asked what possible thing she could say to him. He said you're not going to get a confession. Kim said she thinks she'd have her rage under control. She said she was in the court room with him and he was looking her up and down and she told him not to look at her like that. She said when they were in court for the civil case she just stared at him. She said she would do that until he sat down.
Howard played the part of OJ and asked what she would do. Kim said she'd ask him what he was doing to find the killer. She said that someone said that he has always claimed his innocence but she's not sure she's ever heard that. Howard asked what she would do if he confessed to her. Kim said she doesn't know.
Howard said what about Kato Kaelin. Kim said he was on the podcast. She said he was interesting. She said he had just finished Big Brother or something. Howard said Kato claims that he was told to say that he wasn't there that night. He said Kato said no. He asked if that was kept out of court. Kim said that Marcia got in some of the stuff about him asking for him to be an alibi for him. She said she spoke to a juror who believed in the conspiracy theory about the evidence being planted. She said that she's not sure that anything would have made a difference with that jury.
Howard said there were people who thought Kato was the one who was killed that night. Kim said that his mother thought it was him. Howard said most people didn't know it was her brother. Kim said Kato is a good guy and he's trying to figure out how to live in that world now.
Howard said that Kim gave up her career and it's been tough for her. He said she's given up a lot. He said his heart aches for her and her dad. He said it's just the pits what has gone on there. Howard said there have been a lot of bad trials over the years. He said he's not going to tell her to get over it. He said he loves that she's holding it in her heart. He said it's a good reminder. He said this guy is out having a good time and it's not right.
Howard asked if she thinks that they should throw OJ off Twitter. Robin asked on what grounds. Howard said he doesn't need grounds. He said they should just do it for Kim and her family. Howard said OJ should just lay low. He said he shouldn't be out there like he is.
Howard said a lot of people think that Nicole and Ron were involved in some way. Kim said they were friends. She said they worked out at the gym together and there were places they saw each other at. Howard asked if there was a chance there was something romantic going on. Kim said he was involve with another woman and they had plans. She said that so what if they did. She said that people want to say that he got what he deserved because he was with a woman who was married but she was divorced and no one deserves to be killed.
Kim said she's not sure why they got death threats and bomb threats during the trial. Howard said they were the victims there. Kim said that trial was very polarizing. She said that people don't understand what was going on there. She said they think they're all about the money. She said it was a monetary settlement. She said if they didn't go after the judgment then he'd get away with it again.
Howard asked if she was watching the white Bronco chase and hoping he'd get what he deserved. Kim said they were angry that he didn't turn himself in right away. She said they were glued to the seat while they were watching the chase. She said she wanted him to turn himself in. She wanted the court proceeding. Howard said she never did get what they needed.
Robin asked if she ever spoke to Al Cowling. Kim said she's not sure why but she never thought of doing that for the podcast.
Howard said he would put a bullet right in his fucking head if she asked him to. Kim said she doesn't have that in her. She said she doesn't think that it's right. Howard said that's a very honest thing to do. Howard said he's not capable of ending someone's life. He said that's a very macho thing to say but actually doing it would be very hard. Kim said that she's not sure that would be the right thing.
Howard asked what happened to the woman who her brother was dating. Kim said she gave her a ring that she still wears to this day. She said her brother gave it to this woman and she gave him the note and the ring. She said she also wears her brother's necklace. She said he would have been 51 this year. She said when she turned 25 it was hard because that's what his age was. She said she has a 15 year old son now. Howard asked if she's married. Kim said she's happily divorced. She said that she married a man she knew from her childhood. She said it didn't work out but it's totally okay. Robin said she has her son.
Kim said she loves being a mom and she loves the work she does. Howard said most of the day it doesn't hit her. Kim said she still wants to reach out and call. She said it's hard for her dad. She said he'll call her son Ron because he has some characteristics of her brother. She said she's an only child now and her dad is declining in age. She said he's 70 years old now. Howard said he feels for her dad.
Howard asked if her dad took her for her first bra. Kim said he did. She said they walked in like it was nothing. She said that her dad went into the dressing room with her and he kept the top of the box. She said he was there for her for everything. Howard said he's an exceptional guy.
Howard said her son's middle name is Ronald after her brother. Kim said it is. Howard said Kim had to go through her brother's answering machine messages after he died. Kim said that people were calling to see what was up and then people called in sadness and desperation. Howard asked if you trow that away. Kim said they have it all. She said the tapes are hard. She said seeing footage of her brother is hard. She said they have some from a Bat Mitzvah he was at. She said that's all they have.
Howard said he thinks she has this podcast to keep her brother's memory alive. She said that's part of it because he was kind of forgotten in this. She said she is moving on with her life though.
Howard asked if she was every prayed upon by psychics. Kim said she was three times. Howard said he believes they should all be locked up. He said they pray upon people's dreams. He said Houdini proved there is no such thing.
Kim said some psychics came to her but one guy she went to was blind and didn't know who she was. She said that he said something to her that it's not her job. She said that this guy knew something bad had gone on and it was murder or something. She said that he told her that it wasn't her job and then the second one told her the same thing. She said that she was more clear that it was her brother and it was OJ who killed him. She said the third one she went to didn't have any idea who she was and then she started talking about Nicole and OJ. She said she had some pretty interesting things. She said that she also told her that it was not her job. She said they all said something pretty unique. She said there were some pretty unique things there. She said they knew the color of his suit and something about Ron cracking a joke about her being ''Captain Obvious.'' She said there was something there. She said she's a skeptic too. Howard said he knows that people want to believe when they lose someone.
Howard asked if football traumatizes her. Kim said she likes football. She said she doesn't like number 32 or the Buffalo Bills.
Howard asked if she's dating at all. Kim said she is looking. She said she gets some interesting comments from people. She said they say they're sorry for her loss. She said that she is trying to be someone other than that. Howard said some guy was crying to her. Kim said she did have to say something if she didn't talk about her whole life. Kim said if someone doesn't ask about her family then they know who she is. Howard said lets say someone doesn't know it's her and he asks her out. He asked when she brings it up. Kim said she tells them when she says what she does for a living. Kim said she is asked about her family and at some point you can't hide it. Howard said he thinks that he'd be the right guy for her but he's taken.
Kim said she worked on The Larry Sanders Show. She said Garry Shandling was obsessed with the trial. She said they threw her into the room with him and he was so panicked that she was there. She said the producer of the show set her up on a date with a guy who was wearing a lambs wool shirt and a gold medallion and shorts. She said he was flexing and showing off his muscles.
Howard asked why Garry was so freaked out by her. Kim said he was just concerned for her and her family. She said she needed a job to get her mind off of things that were going on. She said some friends called Bernie Brillstein and helped her get in there. She said they put her on that show. She said it was a good distraction. She said it gave her a sense of purpose.
Howard gave Kim a plug for her podcast. He asked if she's going to ask OJ to be on. Kim said she will. She said that she thinks it's been very cathartic to do it. Howard gave her another plug and said you can get it wherever podcasts are downloaded.
Howard said he constantly plays the OJ stuff because it pisses him off. He said he's glad she came in because he wanted to get a sense of her and her brother. He said this is not a joke that her brother was killed. Kim said she knows that both Howard and Robin have been very supportive. She said she's friends with Jillian Barberie and she brings them up often. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he did that very professionally. He said he has to compliment himself. He said even his fans hate his guts.
Howard said he feels so horrible for that Goldman family. He said he knows a lot of people have suffered a lot of tragedies. He said the most painful thing is that it had to be done so publicly. He said that it's always the anniversary of OJ or they do a special about OJ. He said Gary came in after the interview and he was struck by how raw the whole thing still is for Kim and her family. Howard said Robin brought up how it's in their face all the time to this day. He said everyone is outraged by it. Robin said they think they know things about them that just isn't true.
Howard said hopefully that reminded everyone what a fucked up situation it is. He said fuck that OJ and his Twitter.
Howard said it's time for news. They played Robin into it with a song parody. Howard said he was in a depressed mood after that interview but he heard that song and he laughed again.
Robin asked if there is a Howard Stern music show. Howard said yes, on Broadway. Robin said there was a promo being played earlier about some music show. Howard said he's not sure what that was. Fred said he did not hear that promo. Howard said he's not sure what she heard. Gary said it was the Saturday Soundtracks show they do. Robin said she didn't know if it was Howard hosting it or something. Howard said that's a show where they play the music from the show. Gary said it can be 20 years old or from 2 years ago. He said they find some really cool stuff to play.
Robin started her news with a story about a woman swinger who had a heart attack at a festival. Robin said she was 52 years old. Howard said he gets how a guy can over do it but how does a woman over do it. Howard said Nelson Rockefeller died doing that. He said he was an old man and doing it with a younger woman. Howard asked what this woman was doing. Robin said she wound up gasping for breath while mingling with wife swappers. Robin said they had all kinds of athletic events in their swinging. Fred played some Blue Iris and other old lady porn clips while Robin was reading her story. Robin said the woman was given emergency treatment and it didn't stop the party. She said the woman is now recovering.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she loves Robin and Howard. She said that she remembers listening to Howard and Robin back in the 90s when the whole OJ thing was going on. Howard said he digs her phone connection. He said it's awesome. Howard thanked her for the call and let her go. Howard said it seems like 95 percent of their callers have a phone problem. He said maybe it's them. He said he blames the cell phones. Robin said they went from hearing people perfectly to ''can you hear me?''
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said her heart hurts for Kim. She said that she's glad she came in. She said that this is good for the younger listeners. Howard said he has to let her go. Mariann said he let everyone else finish. She said they should take OJ off of Twitter. She said justice will be done for OJ. Fred tried to play her off with music and sounds but Mariann kept talking. Howard said just do that if you're at an awards show. Howard hung up on Mariann and got back to news.
Robin read a story about a teacher who got 20 years in prison for having sex with a student. Robin said she was having sex with a 13 year old boy. Robin said sometimes it was in the classroom and she'd get other boys to stand watch. Howard said that's the best class ever. Howard said he was talking to his buddy yesterday about this and the guy wondered how these kids fuck up a good thing. Robin said the kids get overwhelmed and they spill the beans. Howard said it's crazy. Fred played Van Halen's ''Hot for Teacher'' with some gagging sounds over it. Howard said the teacher got 20 years and the kid got 30 years of being the coolest kid in class ever. Howard said he'd keep that quiet if it was him. He said how frustrating it must be to get picked to be the one. He said the other kids had to stand watch. Fred was still playing ''Hot for Teacher'' with the gagging clip playing. Howard said what a teacher. Robin said this teacher says that this isn't what she is and she made a mistake with this one student. She apologized to the victims and their kin.
Howard asked what's worse, finding out your wife is a lesbian or that she fucked a 13 year old. Robin said it's the fucking the 13 year old. Howard said she's right. Robin read more of the story. She said the kid who was the lookout was only 11 years old. Robin said the parents found out they were having sex when they put an app on the kid's phone. She said they got suspicious of something and wanted to see what he was up to. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who said he thought that was a great interview. Howard said he thinks that he said that he wishes the show wasn't dragging up old memories but then he figured he approved of his guests. Speech Impediment Man said that's correct. Howard asked if he wants to elaborate. Speech said people want to see things exactly... Howard hung up on him and said lets get back to the teacher story.
Howard said he is consumed with the story about the teacher and how she'd probably ask him to clean the erasers while she has an assgasm. Fred started ''Hot for Teacher'' over again while Howard made up what could go on in that class.
Howard took a call from a guy who had a really deep voice. Howard said he's making him look bad so he put his own voice in a deep voice changer. The caller said he wants to talk about the teacher. He brought up girls who can't even get fingered and maybe she was one of them. Howard said this guy must have some big balls. The caller, J-Bo, said that his wife has been with him for 25 years. Howard said he's going to smack his balls on the phone and then J-Bo can do it. Howard asked if he shoots ropes. J-Bo said he never looks at it. He said he shoots it in his wife. He said when he jerks off he does it into a paper towel and doesn't look at it. Howard asked why he doesn't use tissue. J-Bo said then you get that stuff stuck to the tip of your cock. He said he can't believe he's talking about this in front of Robin. Howard let J-Bo go a short time later. Fred played some deep voice guy clips to get Robin back to her news.
Robin asked if Howard would return to meat if it didn't come from animals. Howard said he knows what she's talking about but he was never a big fan of meat to begin with. He said he saw an article about a couple that killed a lion while trophy hunting and he cried. He said you have to see how magnificent this animal was. He said the NY Post was upset about it too. He said the couple is kissing behind the dead lion. He said he's not a pro but he knows about guns. He said it's not that hard to kill a lion. He said if you have the kind of gun they have it's not hard. He said this lion is a highly evolved species. He said you have to see his face. He said the whole thing sickens him.
Robin asked if Howard would return to eating meat or not. Howard said he probably wouldn't. Robin said they are now working on cloning meat. Howard said he's all for it if they can stop killing animals. He said they say it tastes the same as real meat. Robin said it's like Brindle Fly who tried to clone meat. Howard said Jeff Goldblum was trying to teleport meat and it destroyed it in there. He said this is cloned meat. Robin said whatever. She said the plan is in a couple of years they will have cloned meat in the marketplace. Howard said he's all for it.
Howard had J-Bo back on the phone and he said that he wanted to say something about the Peloton. He said he appreciates the compliments on his wife. He also asked if he has the video of Gary on the Peloton yet. Howard said not yet. Howard asked why he has him back on. J-Bo said he's a bad mother fucker. Howard let him go after that.
Robin said how about food made out of thin air. Howard said that's another thing they're working on. Robin said this company is talking about making food out of thin air starting in a couple of months. Robin said it doesn't have a taste. She said they hope to have it out on store shelves in 2 years.
Howard took a call from one of the guys in the back office doing a Gay-Bo voice. He lasted just a few seconds with him.
Robin read a story about the sentence coming in for El Chapo. Robin said he's been given a life sentence by a U.S. federal court. Howard said it's not going to be easy to get out of that prison. He said that guy has to be freaking out. He said he had that drug empire in Mexico. He said how about him vs. the Bagel Boss guy. Howard had some audio of Ham Hands Bill playing the part of El Chapo and talking to Robin.
Robin read a story about the guy who created the Bachelor, Mike Fleiss, having a restraining order against him. Robin said his wife filed that on Tuesday after claiming that he demanded she get an abortion.
Robin said she loves this show Love Island. She said she thinks Howard would like it. Howard said he tried watching it but he hated it. Robin said she likes the British version. Howard said they weren't that good looking on that show. He said he didn't like it. Howard said she can watch that while he goes to Bukakke Bay.
Robin read a story about Jay Z being a billionaire now. Robin said he's branching out into other businesses. She said he's involved in quite a few things already and now he's a chief strategist in a cannabis company. Howard said he would never sell alcohol or cannabis. Robin said she doesn't get that. Howard said he wouldn't sell anything that people can get addicted to. He said that's cool if you want to do that but that's his boundary.
Robin read a story about Whoopi Goldberg saying she can't drive anymore because her vision is so bad. Robin said this is 3 months after she revealed she was in the hospital for a 24 hour bug she had in February. She claims she came very close to leaving this Earth back then. Howard said he saw Whoopi yelling at a fire hydrant thinking it was Meghan McCain. He said he had to straighten her out.
Robin read a story about the Red Cross saying that there's a heat wave coming and we should get ready for more and more of these heat waves. Howard said he's prepared. He said he has the pool at the right temperature.
Howard said how about Fred and the Bobo puppet. He said he's really coming into his own. He said he can't wait to get that up on the app today.
Robin read a story about more earthquakes hitting northern and southern California yesterday. Robin had some details about that and said they are saying this doesn't mean that the big one is coming.
Howard said he has (fake) President Trump on the phone to talk about his racist tweets. Howard took the call and asked fake Trump about coming down on The Squad. Trump went off on the four and said he heard they all have sloppy pussies and tiny tits. Trump had Secret Service stop Melania from leaving the room. Robin said something to him and Trump told her to go back to Wakanda. Howard asked Trump about a few other things like Jeffrey Epstein and if he's friend with him. Trump said Epstein sounds more like one of Howard's friends. Howard asked him about some of the democratic candidates. Fake Trump had things to say about each one Howard brought up.
Robin read a story about articles of impeachment being filed against President Trump last night. Robin said other democratic leaders didn't agree with the filing. Robin had some audio of Congressman Al Green making the announcement. Robin said yesterday they were talking about this whole thing and the democrats condemned Trump for the tweets he sent out. Robin said she thinks with this action they have sealed the election for Trump. Robin said they say his poll numbers went up since he made those statements. Robin had some audio of Trump, Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi for Howard to play. Howard said he thinks Pelosi looks really good. Fred said she's 79. Howard said she keeps herself well fit for that age. He asked if she's doing Soul Cycle or Peloton. Robin had another clip of Kellyanne Conway asking a reporter what ethnicity he was when he asked about the Trump tweets.
Robin read a story about CNN having a white nationalist on to talk about the President's remarks. Robin said this guy Robert Spencer was on and he was all for those tweets. Robin said CNN was criticized for putting him on.
Robin read a story about Elon Musk talking about putting a computer in people's brains. Robin said he wants to have implanted devices that interact with computers. Howard said it sounds very Frankenstein like. Robin said they hope to have them going by next year. Howard said he wouldn't mess with that. Howard said that guy should be busy building a sex robot.
Robin said she's wondering about High Register Sean after the Air Force suggested that people don't storm Area 51. Robin said there was a group of people who were planning to storm it to unlock the alien secrets. Robin said the Air Force said they will defend the area if people do try to storm it. Howard said just get all of those dummies in one place, round them up and kick them out of the country.
Robin read a story about Meghan Markle was heard telling Pharrell that royal life isn't so easy. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Today's show was over around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 11:15am.