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Howard and the guys were back live from their Thanksgiving vacation. Howard started the show talking about how they're back live. He said he thinks Rob Zombie should be in the Rock and Roll hall of fame. He said he was doing his workout and thinking about that. He said Rob's song came on. He said it was that song Dragula that came on. He said he was singing about the Munsters car. He said he was thinking about how he should be in the hall of fame. He said once that song came on he started to lift 20-30 pounds. Fred played ''Dragula'' for Howard.
Howard said he thinks he should be inducted into the Rock and Roll hall of fame. He said he thinks the Munster's car was called Dragula. He let the song play and talked it up like a top 40 DJ. Howard said this is Lily Muster's favorite song. He said Cousin It loves this song. He said it's a great song. He said he thinks Rob is a musical genius but he never hears his name mentioned. He said he is eligible for the hall of fame in 2023. He said how about White Zombie. He said he's the best looking guy in rock. He said he's not a homosexual and women and gay men tell him he's out of his mind. Howard asked if Robin would go to be bed with him. Robin said he is a good looking man. Howard said his wife is lovely too. Howard said he was gone for a whole week and he came back with that. He said he's not even eligible.
Howard asked if Robin had a good Thanksgiving. Robin said she did. Howard said he did too. He said he had his Thanksgiving with the kids on Friday. He said he went to see a movie down in Florida. He said it's very civilized down there. He said they have recliner seats in the theaters down there. He said Beth reclined and he had to sit up because the recliner is too short for him. He said he might have to sue on behalf of tall people. He said they went to see the Mr. Rogers movie. He said he thought this was going to be the number 1 movies of the weekend. He said he didn't know what the movie was going to be. He said he thought it was going to be Tom Hanks acting out the life of Mr. Rogers. He said it's actually about the guy who wrote the article about Mr. Rogers. He said it's more about that than Mr. Rogers. He said it's almost how a psychiatrist would impact a person's life. He said he really wants to encourage people to see this movie. He said he thinks Tom Hanks should be eligible for best supporting actor. He said the woman in the movie who plays the reporter's wife is great and Tom Hanks is fantastic.
Howard said the movie is so well written and crafted. He said he couldn't stand the Mr. Rogers show. He said the movie was great though. He said if the way they portray him is 50 percent of what he was like then he was a modern day Jesus. Robin said she couldn't stand to watch him or see him. Howard said he didn't like his TV show. He said he tried to watch the show and he didn't get what he was trying to go for. He said you do fall in love with him in the movie though. He said this movie was something worth checking out. He said he hasn't been to a movie in ages. He said he enjoyed this movie though.
Howard said he went home and watched some interviews with the real Mr. Rogers. He said he talked so slowly that people laughed at him. He said what a beautiful man he was. Howard said when his wife was little she loved Mr. Rogers. He said he was a Pittsburgh icon. He said he started out there. He said he lived and worked there. He said public television started with him too. He said Beth really wanted to go see it. He said his psychiatrist gave him a homework assignment to go see it. He said ie really was a lovely film. He said he got emotional during the movie.
Howard said he has some other suggestions for Robin too. He said there was something on Amazon Prime that he liked. He said he likes Jack Ryan and a show that his kids told him about. He said there's a show called Modern Love that is great. He said it's based on a column in the NY Times. He said that they have different stories that they follow in this show. He said Anne Hathaway does the third episode in and it's some of the best acting he has seen. He said she's such a beauty too. He said they do a take on people with bipolar. He said Tina Fey is fantastic in a role too. He said it's a straight role. He said she's good too. He said that's on Amazon Prime.
Robin said she won't take that recommendation. Howard told her to go see that Mr. Rogers movie. Robin said she was going to see that anyway. Howard said don't be a contrarian. Robin said she would never do that. He said she does sometimes. Howard said Modern Love has been renewed for a second season. Robin said she can't watch that.
Howard said he will tell Robin about another one he liked. He said he's not sure which service it was on. He said it was called Black Summer. Gary said it's on Netflix. Howard said it's sort of like the Walking Dead. He said he wrote it down because he enjoyed it. He said it was about the zombie apocalypse. He said they move really fast unlike in the Walking Dead. He said these Zombies run after you. He said they're really quick. He said they're quick and hard to kill. He said you can't just stab them in the head. He said you have to blow their heads off but they're hard targets. He said they're insanely quick zombies.
Howard said the actress in it is a woman named Jaime King. He said she was on the show and said he was slapped a yarmulke. Robin said that was Jamie Presley. Howard said he's not sure who it is. Gary said it was Jamie King in this movie. Howard said he can like her then. Howard said to save your life in this movie you have to get to a football stadium. He said he liked that movie.
Robin said she tried to watch the Man who Killed Hitler and then Big Foot. Howard said that was good. Robin said she can't sit through it. Howard said this guy actually killed Hitler. He said then he got his revenge and killed Big Foot. Robin laughed. Howard said he was fucking around with her on that one. He said check out the stuff he just mentioned.
Howard said he saw this scientist invented a new toilet coating. He said Bill and Melinda Gates give a ton of money to charity and one was this charity that invents a toilet. He said they waste a lot of water on flushing doody. He said they came up with a non-stick doody thing. He said give a medal to that inventor. He said they surface is anti-fouling so you can't foul it. He said he's going to go jump out a window. He said it's so disgusting. Howard said you would have to clean it but not scrub the toilet.
Howard said getting back to his mom... He went into her voice again. Howard said she's talking to him like she's not sure if he's live or talking to an answering machine. He said it sounded like something horrible was going on. He said 99 percent of the time it sounds like that. He said this time she was asking if he was there. He said he was on the phone with her. He said she asked if he was on the news that day. She was telling him that this woman said to her that he was on the news but she didn't know for what.
Howard said his mom was asking if everything was okay. He said he told her that he was involved in a stabbing on the London bridge. He said she was worried about him being on the news. Robin said if something was wrong they should have called him right away. Howard said they went to lunch and waited until they were done. Howard said he explained to her that they may have re-aired the Anderson Cooper interview. Howard said maybe that woman saw that. He said his mother was telling him that wasn't it. He was doing her voice asking if he was on the news for something else.
Howard said he has no idea what this woman was looking at. He said he told his mom that. He said she guessed everything was okay then. Howard said everything was fine. Howard said his mother gets in a panic is she thinks he was on the news. Howard said this went on for like 15 minutes. Robin asked if his dad piped in. Howard said he can't hear anything. He said if he's alone and he has to get a hold of him he has to call the front desk and they write it out for him and tell him. He said he can't hear. Robin said they have a phone that will write everything out for you. Howard said they don't want that. He said they won't even DVR. He said he has to watch live or he complains they don't make video tape anymore. Howard said they don't even have Sirius. He said he's kind of glad about that. Robin said she got the feeling they weren't listening anymore. Howard said if they were they'd be calling in. He did his impression of them calling in.
Howard said he's reading a book about life extending. He said Jimmy Kimmel told him about it. He said it's very technical and boring. He said the bottom line is that people are living longer but it's horrible. He said the older you get the worse it gets. He said they keep you alive but it's like torture. He said this guy says you can live to 100 or 150. He said he says you can walk around and not be like his parents. He said he'll suffer through the book and see what he has to say about DNA and things like that. He said he's explaining himself in the book. He said the claim in the book is that you end up like Teri Schiavo. He said he claims that you can be youthful and have your same faculties and all of that. Robin said she only knows a few people like that. Howard said Jimmy must be doing something. He said he was asking if he knew about something called NADs or something like that. He said he has to see what it was. He said that will take 10 minutes to look it up. He said he'll read the book and figure it out.
Howard said he would like to love to like 100 but only if he can live a robust life. He said he didn't want people taking care of him. He said this guy talks about how you have to prepare for that part of your life. He said the book is so boring that he falls asleep after a page. He said he likes reading the NY Times but that's about it. He said this guy claims he has the secret. Robin asked how old he is. Howard jokingly said he's like 300.
Howard said it's crazy that these women outlive men. Howard said Mr. Rogers died at 74 because of stomach cancer. He said he's going to take a break and get to a lot of stuff after that. They went to break after that.
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Howard said sometimes he likes a song and then 2 weeks later he hates them. He said he has a shitty playlist sometimes.
Howard said he has to get to some stuff that happened over vacation. He said Benjy has proven that he has no acting talent. He told him not to come in there crying about it. He said he's probably the worst actor he's ever seen. He said he's seen Ronnie. He said Gary got a call a couple of weeks ago. He said he tells him not to pass them along. He said these TV shows will have his guys on to get some attention. He said they have had Ronnie on and Eric the Actor and Jeff the Drunk do parts. He said they will ask for anyone from the show. He said Gary got a call a couple of weeks ago. He said Richard was in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 but it passes so fast. He said they want to make something out of it. Robin said Richard was also in the Walking Dead. Howard said it's always something lame. He said he thinks his guys are better than that. He said he wants to explain to them that they're being used. He said they look like an idiot.
Howard said the Bold and the Beautiful called up and said they had a part for one of their guys. He said they didn't care who. He said Sal was on Law and Order and Kevin can Wait. He said he was horrible in it but passable. He said Benjy is downright bad. He said he does Sharknado. He said he can only yell and scream. He said he can't wait to play this. He said there's no nuance to his work. He said he doesn't have the ability to see himself. He said he was a complete disaster.
Howard said he's going to play this for Robin. Howard asked Gary how they got a hold of Benjy. Gary said they sent him an email and he ignored it. He said they were going to L.A. and Benjy did it and he's not sure how they got a hold of him. Howard said he's worse than Eric the Actor. Gary said Benjy has just one speed. Howard said he took this guy under his wing. He said it's depressing.
Howard said a producer for that show got a hold of Benjy and got him on. He said a producer named Casey explained the role to Benjy. He said he was playing a HazMat worker and he had just 3 lines. He said he created his own back story for his character. Howard said he is the worst actor and then he comes up with a back story.
Howard played a clip of the producer telling Benjy what his role is. Benjy asked if there was anything between him and Hope. The producer said they don't think so but it could be possible. Benjy had a back story that he made up. Casey said he must have really researched this role. Howard said now that guy knows how he feels working with Benjy. Howard said this worker has 3 lines and there is no story there. He said Benjy is just being a dick. Howard said you have to be a damn good actor to have a back story.
Howard said Benjy rehearsed his lines with Casey and Casey wasn't that impressed. Howard played that clip and Benjy read his lines to Casey. Casey said that's one option. Benjy asked if he should do it word for word. Howard said there were like 3 words.
Howard played a clip of Benjy asking Casey to verify that he was on time. Howard said that makes him even angrier hen he hears that. He said he showed up on time for someone else's work. He said he's fucking out of it.
Howard said Benjy got into his costume and he rehearsed in a whisper. He said this guy Derek was covering it. He said Benjy asked if he should do an accent. Howard played a clip of Benjy asking Derek if he should do a British accent or something. He did the lines like that for Derek in a whisper.
Gary said Derek told him that his phone started ringing when he had his HazMat suit on so wardrobe had to come over and help him get it. Howard said he doesn't think and he's not prepared.
Howard said this is Benjy reading his lines in the show. He said he had a mask on but he wanted to take it off because he wanted to be seen. Howard said the producer had him take it off and then put it back on. He said this is the rehearsal. Howard played the clip and Benjy comes in yelling at the woman to get out of the room and tells her to go. They had to do the line over again and take it from a 10 to a 5. They told him to be a little nicer with her. Then they told him to take it down another notch. Benjy was still yelling.
Howard said it's the worst sign when a soap opera director thinks you're over acting. He said she should have told him to stop being an asshole and do it less shitty next time. Howard said all he has to say is there's a poison gas leak there and don't come in. Howard said he's doing the same acting as he does in Sharknado. Robin said he said he was going to try to avoid that. Robin said people who are hard of hearing talk very loud. Howard said the director told him to take it down a notch. Howard asked why he didn't just tell the woman what was going on instead of yelling it.
Robin said imagine he talked to someone like that at work. Howard said everything is like sharks are dropping out of the sky.
Howard said here's the kicker. He said Benjy had difficulty with the volume of his voice. He said they told him over and over again to lower it. He said they kept him in his mask during the actual scene. Howard said this is the scene. He played the clip and Benjy yells at the woman with his mask on. The director asked him to redo one of his lines again. His voice was all muffled from the mask. They wrapped on his scene after that.
Howard said he sounds like Bane in that scene. Robin said that didn't help at all. Fred did his impression of that scene with the Benjy puppet. He had Howard cracking up at it.
Howard said he should have played it like he was just asking the woman to leave. He said he didn't have to yell at her like that.
Howard said they got Benjy's feelings on his acting after that scene. He said Benjy seemed to feel mixed about it. Howard said this is Benjy after the performance. Derek asked Benjy how he felt after his 3 takes. Benjy said he doesn't know. He said he was embarrassed but he thinks it went okay. He said it could have gone better. Benjy said he felt like he was in character in the mask so that part was okay.
Howard said this is the actual scene from the show. He played the clip of Benjy telling the woman she has to go. Howard said they drowned him out with music. Fred did his Benjy impression again. Howard said Benjy has been going around saying they're trying to make him a recurring character. Howard said imagine they had to do 3 takes for that dumb scene.
Howard had Benjy come in to give a bow for his awful acting. He said he's the worst actor on the planet. Benjy came in and Howard said he's maybe the worst actor ever. He said this is a pretty good production unlike Sharknado. Howard had him try just telling the woman she has to leave without yelling at her. Benjy did the line much more calmly than he did in the show.
Howard said just tell him there's poisonous gas in the air. Benjy did it. Howard said he could have been on camera if he had done it like that. He said he was told to tone it down. He asked why he didn't do that. Benjy said he was really nervous. He said that might have affected it. Howard said he thinks they have eliminated all of the fields that he can't go into.
Gary said that Derek said that he really fucked with the conveyor belt of the show. He said it's like a factory over there and Benjy fucked it up.
Howard asked how they got a hold of Benjy. Benjy said he has talked to Casey before. He said he reached out through Twitter. Howard said they want the publicity but they asked them to just play it once. He said it's really bad. Benjy said he was told it was the best cameo of the season and they are going to try to work him back into the show. Howard said they say Benjy was looking for more acting work out there in L.A. Benjy said they have played the scene twice now.
Howard said how about this, just work for him out in L.A. since he paid for his trip out there. Benjy said that's a great idea. Howard said great work. He said for a comedy bit it was great.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Gary impression talking about the scene. He was going on and on like Gary would do with a drawn out story. Howard said he has to talk about what Sour Shoes was doing over the weekend. He said he's going to take some calls first.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it sounded like he was doing a Darth Nihilus bit in that scene.
Howard took another call from a guy who said this was terrible. He asked what Benjy even does there. He said he says he has some value. Howard said he is a writer and he is good. He said when he's alone in a room writing he's really good. He said he wants more and he wants to be a performer but he's a writer. The caller asked if he is involved with the show. Howard said he is and he's really good. He said everything else he touches isn't good.
Howard asked if he has taken acting classes. Benjy said he has. Howard said maybe he shouldn't say where. He asked what method he studied. Benjy said things related to Meizner. He said he has taken improv classes too. Howard asked what they say. Benjy said he has to look it up.
Howard asked if he was fucking with them over there at The Bold and the Beautiful. Benjy said he was going to say he was but he wasn't. He said it would be great to get better at acting. Howard said maybe observe people and act like them. He said even in Sharknado the other people aren't yelling. He said they just talk. Benjy said he was telling himself that in the scene but it just comes out that way. The caller said Benjy should get good at not coming into the studio.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he hates Benjy but that whole thing was very funny. He said the whole back story was great. Howard said he wasn't trying to be funny though. He said he tries to do things online and they're not funny. He said he should just concentrate on writing.
Howard said this is Benjy on Periscope. He said he was trying to chat with someone but the connection wasn't very good. Howard played the clip and Benjy struggled to have a conversation with her with the bad connection. Howard said this is so bad.
Howard played another clip where Benjy and this woman were talking about the TV show Good Times. They were talking about the characters on the show. Benjy and this woman's connections were cutting out as they talked over one another.
Howard played a clip of Benjy singing the theme to the show and asked the woman not to sing along with him. Howard said he's scolding his only fan.
Howard said Benjy talked about Muammar Gaddafi being a good looking man. Howard said after 22 minutes of that Benjy wanted to go back to sleep. Howard said even that was an ordeal. He played another clip of Benjy talking about how going to sleep can be scary. Howard cut that off and said Benjy can go now. He said he must have a blind spot for Benjy. He said he's not sure what is worse, this periscope or the acting.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who yelled at Benjy about how much he sucks. She started out nice but then went off on him. She asked why we have to be subjected to this asshole.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he can do better than Benjy. Howard said he believes it. He said at least Jeff has a little bit of range. Jeff said he's definitely better. Howard said he believes it. Jeff said he beat Eric the Actor out on a job but that fell through. Howard said they would have been better off with Jeff in that HazMat suit. Benjy said he's sure they'd put Jeff on the Bold and the Beautiful.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Benjy is the best part of the show at this point. He said he would take a best of Benjy over Howard on Ellen getting remarried any day of the week. Howard said that was up to Ellen. He said he didn't suggest it.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks Benjy's acting is bad because he can't be a real person. She said she thinks that he's unable to express real emotions and he should go to therapy. Howard said he thinks she's right. He said that he needs to look at how people interact. He said go watch the show Modern Love. He said Anne Hathaway is fantastic in that show. Benjy said he watched all of the episodes. Howard said he's going to play a song parody and end this segment.
Howard said this one is called Benjy causes us frustration. He played the song parody and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said when he was throwing it to commercial Benjy was telling him about something he does sexually. He said it's something he called a name. Jason said it's called orgasmic meditation. He said he rubs a woman's clit for 15 minutes. Howard asked why you'd want to do that. Robin said she told Howard about this class at one point. She said it's about giving a woman a clitoral orgasm and the man asks for nothing in return. Howard asked if Robin would want a man doing that for 15 minutes. Robin said there are a lot of women who are probably looking for that. Robin said people come in and they don't even know you. Robin said then he rubs the woman for 15 minutes until she has an orgasm.
Gary said they can't decide if they should have him come in. Howard said he's not sure about that. Howard said they'll never get to the bottom of it. He said he's going t have a 2 minute timer on this.
Howard said he wants a serious conversation. He asked why he went to the class. Benjy said it sounded like a sexy thing to try. He said it sounded hot to try it out. Howard asked if random women come in and get rubbed. Benjy said it's an 8 hour class. Howard asked if he learned anything new. Benjy said it's probably stuff he already knows but they have a protocol for it. He said they tell you to touch it like you touch an eyelid. He said you touch it very soft and very slow.
Howard asked when you get to finger the broad. Benjy said you're thumb is inside the woman. Howard asked if Harvey Weinstein runs this class. Benjy said there are investigations into the class.
Howard asked if he got to finger anyone. Benjy said not at the class. Howard said he's sitting there and a naked woman comes out and they show you how to do it. Benjy said you have to do it in a certain way. Howard said he's done with this. He said he's not getting any information.
Robin asked if he gets to touch a woman. Benjy said he does. He said he went to some women's apartments. He said it was just him and the woman. He said he met one at a class. Howard asked if she asked him to come back. Benjy said you have to ask. He said you have to set up a time and all of that. Howard asked how long after it was. Benjy said it might have been a week or so. He said he has done it with 3 or 4 women. He said you can meet women trough the organization. Howard asked if he just fingers the woman. Benjy said a man can be touched if they identify as a woman.
Howard asked Benjy about going to her apartment. He asked what she's wearing. Benjy said she's dressed normally. He said you have to go by the protocol. Howard said just tell him what happened. Benjy said you set up on the floor and set up a chair next to the woman. He said you have to put your leg over her's in a certain way. He said he found it very hard to get into that position. Howard asked when she takes off her clothes. Benjy said just before she sits down. Howard asked if this woman was fully nude. Benjy said he thinks it was just the bottom. Howard asked about putting his finger on her. Benjy said you have steps you have to follow. He said you can't deviate from the order of that protocol.
Howard asked if she talked to him during it. Benjy said you do ask if she wants it harder or softer. He said that part is very hard. He said his back was killing him. He asked if he had a boner. Benjy said he doesn't remember. Howard said he would have a boner if he was doing it. Howard asked if he was hoping that she'd ask him to put it in. Benjy said he thinks it was very in the moment. Howard asked if Robin is done. Robin asked if he liked pleasing the woman more than himself. Benjy said oh yeah. Howard said he's not sure what anyone is saying now.
Howard said he touched her and went on for 15 minutes. Benjy said he had to stop according to the protocol. He said then you describe to her what happened. Howard said thank you like he wanted to wrap it up. Benjy said he thinks she had an orgasm. He said he felt one.
Howard asked if he wanted to see her again. Benjy said he thinks this one did. Howard asked if he did. Benjy said he didn't see her again. He said they have a group circle thing they do too. He said he hasn't gone to that one. Howard said he thinks he's going to play the Benjy Get Out song now. He played a song parody to get him out of there.
Howard said it's so hard to get Benjy to tell a real story. He told Benjy this is how he would have told the story. He went into Benjy's story and told it in the way he would want to hear it. Howard said it was like he had to drag it out of him. Robin said he didn't describe the woman at all. Benjy said if he made up a story he could tell that. Robin said he had no answer at all when he asked how she looked. Howard thanked Benjy for the story and said he learned nothing. He said they'll try again in a year or so.
Howard said he told Robin she'd learn nothing. He said he learned that they went to her apartment. Robin said they didn't hear a thing about the apartment either. Fred did his Benjy puppet thing again and goofed on him about his story telling ability.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the story was so vague that it's not clear if it as his own story or someone else's story. He said he's not sure who would pay for that service and have Benjy show up. Howard said she may have been a mess too because Benjy is a mess.
Howard asked if he's going to vote to impeach the president. Mitt said in this bit he will but in real life he will come up with some excuse about freedom.
Howard asked Mitt about the different candidates that are running for president. Mitt had some thoughts on Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg and Elizabeth Warren. Howard said it was great talking to him. Mitt said his penis is so curved he can pee into his own mouth. He demonstrated that before Howard let him go.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he hates Benjy but he thinks he's getting a bad rap on this. He said Howard kept cutting him off. Howard said there is a way to answer. He said he was trying to get him started but he wasn't telling him anything relevant. He said there's a disconnect between them. The caller said he usually hates Benjy but on this he thinks he was wrong. Howard said maybe it's him but he tried.
Howard said Mitt Romney can pee in his own mouth. Robin said she just heard that. Howard said he has a new phony phone call where Bernie Sanders calls in and has a problem with his health on the air. Howard played the call and Bernie called into a show and talked about his heart attack. He was hooked up to medical equipment and the hosts could hear it. He had a heart attack on the air with the show. The doctors brought him back and then he had another heart attack that he was brought back from live on the air.
Howard said talk about a disconnect, that host didn't get it. He asked what's going on with these shows. He said they don't understand what's going on.
Howard said it sounds like a good job. Mike said he makes good money and he has good benefits. He said he gets paid hourly. Howard asked how much. Mike said it's $18 an hour. Howard said he doesn't have to pay for gas or anything. Mike said not at all. He said he gets insurance and paid days off. He said his life is set at least until Howard retires. Howard said he thinks a lot of people are going to want that job after he retires. He said all of the guys who work for him will want to go up there. He said you have to be able to drive and have some commitment. Mike said he's on a little bit of a break right now.
Mike said he also sells baked items at a farmer's market. He said he has been baking since he was a kid. He said he makes all kinds of things. Howard said he's not sure he'd want that from some dude who makes stuff in his house. Mike said he has to follow the rules about how to make that stuff. He said he makes the best English Muffins he's ever had. He said he makes focaccia bread too. He said he can make good money doing that too. He said he doesn't have the time off if he does that. He said he would rather be stable and be able to take the time off.
Howard asked if he has to have someone from the board of health check him out. Mike said he has had her check out his food. He said she said it was good too.
Howard asked what Mike called in for. Mike said he thinks Benjy could have been much better at that acting job. He asked what he thinks about Billy Dee Williams talking about how he's gender fluid. Howard said he never would have believed it but he does believe it. He said that moustache grooming he does is a little feminine. He said that look is very gender fluid in his opinion. He said Little Richard had that too. Howard said he wore a cape in Star Wars so he did think he might be Gender Fluid. Howard said if he had super powers he'd just wear pants. He said he's not going to wear a big cape like Superman.
Howard said it's too bad Billy wasted his whole life not coming out. He said he's like 80 now.
Howard said the story he was interested in was the America's Got Talent thing that came out. Howard said he was on America's Got Talent and he went with it for 4 years. He said he made some decent coin doing that. He said he was on with Heidi, Mel B and Howie. He said there were aspects of it that he liked and didn't like. He said it took up a lot of his time. He said he was talking to Beth about it over the weekend. He said they went to a vegetarian restaurant called Candle 79. He said they found out they're closing. Robin said they have cooked for Howard. Howard didn't know that. Robin said they have a place on the west side. Howard said that closed too. He said he was all bummed out about that. Howard said JD had Thanksgiving dinner there. He said what a change in JD. He said that wife has whipped him into shape. Robin said he's like a dog. JD said it's not like that. JD said he had a nice Sa-tan there. JD said it was alright.
Howard said JD and his wife went and watched the Thanksgiving day parade balloons get blown up. He said he used to do that with his kids. He said JD was there and he doesn't have a kid. He said JD must be the kid. JD said it was just something to do. He said they went and checked them out.
Howard said he can't stand that people still kill birds and eat them. Robin said let people make their own minds up. Howard said the planet is a mess. He said they should follow him. Howard said he has evolved. Robin said he's been doing it for like 10 minutes. Howard said people post pictures of their dead bird on their Instagram. He said fuck you.
Howard said he has to get back to America's Got Talent. Mike said he doesn't think the Jay Leno joke was that out of bounds. Howard said since he brought that up he'll talk about it. Howard said Gabrielle Union was a judge on America's Got Talent. He said Julianne Hough was on there too. He said the two of them were let go from the show this season. He said he's not sure how this freak Simon Cowell has orchestrated this. He said the men stay no matter how old and ugly they are or how talentless they are. Robin said she's not sure what he thinks a judge worthy person is. Howard said he constantly replaces the women with hotter and hotter chicks. He said Heidi Klum wasn't the greatest judge but she was attractive and she had an opinion. He said he's not sure how Simon and Howie get to stay. He said they let Heidi and Mel B go. Mike said something and Howard said he thought he was going to stay quiet. He hung up on him.
Howard said Mel B was really good on the show. He said she had great opinions. He said it was fine. He said they came to him behind the scenes and tell him they were going to fire everyone. He said he didn't care. He said he would sit next to a house plant. He said the only thing that made him mental was when Heidi would start singing. He said he was trying to think and she'd sing. He said she wouldn't stop. He said he lied to her once to get her to stop. He said he told her that the producers told him that she had to stop because she was messing up the audio. He said he was lying about that. He said she'd sing ''Ring my Bell'' all the time. He said he'd ask her to please stop signing but she kept doing it.
Howard said Mel B and Heidi would have their kids there and they would sit in his seat. He said it made him mental.
Howard said he got together with Heidi and her boyfriend a coupe of times. He said the same about Mel B. He said they were good. He said it's one thing to fire everyone but it's always the women who get fired. He said they asked Simon about it and he said they mix it up all the time. Howard said Howie is doing a fine job but why not change him instead of the women? He said he doesn't want to ruin his gig but if that was his only gig his schedule would have been fine. He said they had to travel from city to city when he first joined. He said it was too much and he got them to switch the format.
Howard said this is the ultimate example of a boy's club. He said there was an article that came out in Variety. He said Gabrielle Union complained about a joke that Jay Leno told in a segment on the show. He said he's going to defend Jay in this so get ready.
Howard said Jay made a joke about a painting that as hanging with dogs in it and he said it was like something you'd find in a Korean restaurant. Howard said the joke never aired but Gabrielle Union went to complain about it. He said she says no one took it seriously. Howard said they did cut it out of the show. Howard said that 1 million dogs are still eaten every year in South Korea. He said if she wants to make change then do something other than getting after the comedian. He said if you read about what they're doing in South Korea you'll see that they still eat dog. He said there's no evolution going on there. Robin said she doesn't agree with eating them but there are people who do it.
Howard said Gabrielle also says they complained about her black hairdos. Howard said they say that they asked her to keep the same hair to maintain continuity. He said forget all of that. He said she's obviously that she's in shock she got fired from America's Got Talent. Robin asked what happened with Julianne Hough. Howard said she says that she has a special on NBC about dancing. She's not bad mouthing the firing. Howard said all of this other stuff is nonsense to him. He said Jay was trying to be funny and there was no harm, no foul. He said they cut the joke out of the show. He said there is dog eating in South Korea. He said Gabrielle is wondering why she was let go. He said he gets that. He said let that big titted fat fuck Simon Cowell go instead. Howard asked why he's still there.
Howard said he doesn't watch the show anymore. He said he had burn out from it. Robin said she hasn't seen it since he left. Howard said he's not bitter or anything.
Howard said Gabrielle also has an issue with Simon smoking indoors. He said he gets that too. He said she was also upset about a 10 year old rapper they didn't keep on the show. Howard said she has to chill on that.
Howard asked if Robin wants to hear from Simon on this. Robin asked if they have to. Howard took the call from fake Simon who was going off on all of the women they've fired from the show. Howard tanked him for being honest about all of that. Simon said he wants to get someone young like Emily Ratajkowski or Millie Bobby Brown. He said they already had an old Sea Hag like Howard on the show.
Howard and Simon went off on one another calling each other names. They went back and forth for a couple of minutes before Howard hung up on him.
Howard said he's had it with that guy. He said his laugh gets him. He said he called him wife fucker and it bounced right off him.
Howard said it is an interesting thing to him that the women always get replaced over there. He said he doesn't want to fuck up Howie's thing but he thought there would be more after Heidi and Mel B were fired. He said he has to take a break and get back to more. He said he has some things to share. They went to break after that.
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Robin said they used a Billy Squire song in that Man who Killed Hitler movie. Howard said Billy lives out on Long Island. He said he was going to get together with him but they never did. He said he never is able to make plans. He said he always regrets making plans but then he sees them and it's great. He said he's going to change this year. He said he's going to stay the old Howard Stern until January 1st.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who went off on Simon Cowell and Jay Leno with the whole America's Got Talent thing. Mariann said she saw Jay as a judge. Howard said there were days where the judging panel was crowded. He said they made it 4 judges and that just added time to it. Mariann said they don't know what they're doing over there. She said Beth told her that she wanted him out of there the year before. Howard hung up on Mariann.
Howard said he was so upset when they said they were going to add a 5th judge to the show. He said they edit the show down. He said they let them just ramble on and on. He said everyone wants to be heard. He said people have the same opinion as you and then you have to change things up. He said they were all nice people. He said Michael Buble was nice. He said the only guy who was good as a guest judge was Piers Morgan. Robin said ''Ugh.'' She said she's never been a fan of his. Howard said he was.
Howard said they had that Snapple room on the show and that's where Howie got up to hijinks. He said he wasn't into that at all. Howard said Heidi always had her camera out and was filming for her social media account. He didn't want to be on that. He said he didn't want to be there when Howie jumped out of a cake. He said he wasn't interested in doing the fun stuff. He was there to judge and that's it.
Howard said he wasn't into having fun over there. He said Howie was able to do whatever he wanted in that Snapple room. He said they'd come to him asking him to go into the Snapple room and he really didn't want to be there. He said when they brought in the 5th judge he wanted to pull his hair out.
Howard said it was time for him to go. He said he should have left after the second season. Robin asked why Howie was always doing something. Howard said he doesn't know. Robin said she's not sure if there is a Snapple room now. She said if there was it was just Simon sitting there with his son. Howard said he remembers Howie being wheeled in there in a cake. He said he was supposed to do something and he refused to do it.
Howard said ESPN was plugging Disney+ over the vacation. He said everyone on ESPN had to mention it. He said Disney owns them. He said they think we're idiots and don't know it. He said he hates when things are obviously promoted like that.
Howard said he has some examples of how they crammed in the plugs for the service. Howard played some clips of the hosts mentioning what's on the service. They were working in the mentions into their sports talk.
Howard said when they worked at K-Rock there was a time they came to them and all of the DJs had to promote the Roadrunner internet service. Howard said he told them he wasn't going to do it. He said Gary said Tom came to them and said he had to say Roadrunner. Gary said they had sold this across the whole country. Gary said they had to mention it if they were on the internet looking something up. Gary said Tom told Howard he had to do it and Howard said he's not doing it and Tom walked out with his head down totally defeated.
Howard said he's not going to do that. He said he would have sounded like an idiot. He said these guys come up with the worst ideas to ruin your career. He said the audience thinks you're shit and a shill when you do it. Gary said he thinks someone in the sales department had to go eat shit over that sale. Howard said they had already crammed in a ton of commercials during those shows. He said he wasn't going to cram in another one like that. Howard said no one cared about Roadrunner.
Howard said the Spanish version of ESPN had to do the same thing. He played an example of them cramming that into their show.
Howard said Gary told him about something else he did there at Sirius. Gary said they came up with the word Farfoof and they were going to pay a million dollars if Howard would weave it into the fabric of the show. Howard said they wanted him to make the word cool. Gary said he was supposed to do it and then the ad campaign would start. Howard said fuck. Gary said they never said what it meant. Howard said that would make him sound like such a dick. He said Robin would look at him with such disdain. Gary said that one never even got to Howard. He said it got to him and through the sales people. Gary said he told them that Howard just wouldn't do that.
Howard said he could come up with something himself. He said they cold have used Asschreeks. He said they could have sold them ''Duu'' instead. He said that would have worked. Fred played Ronnie saying ''Duu.''
Howard said this is a clip of some announcers talking about Disney+ more than they talked about the game they were calling. He played the clip and the hosts were going on and on about the service. Howard said they're a bunch of Farfoof assholes. He did his impression of the guys plugging the service. They were talking about the movie ''Saving Mr. Banks'' in the clip.
Howard said he has one more where the hosts were playing Disney songs during their show. He played that clip and the guys played songs from Disney movies and plugged Disney+. They were playing song after song when they would come out of breaks.
Howard said they must have gotten a bonus for that. Howard threw in some Farfoof mentions during that.
Howard said that's shameless promotion. He said by the way, go buy his book Howard Stern Comes Again for Christmas.
Howard asked if Farfoof was really a thing. Gary said it was. He said they may have scrapped it when they turned it down.
Howard said they produced their own mumble rap with JD and Asian Pete. He said they also had Leon Spinks. He said he thinks this is as good as that other mumble rap. He played a song with JD mumbling in it. Robin said they could go main stream. Howard said this is Asian Pete mumble rapping too. He played a song the guys made using Pete's voice. Howard said what's nice is that he broke the glass ceiling for Asian rappers. Robin said it sounds fine to her. She said it's actually better.
Howard played the Leon Spinks song they created. He said he thinks he might release that one. He said that's mumble rap. He said they were inspired to make their own mumble rap song called ''Mumble in the Jungle'' with JD, Asian Pete and Leon Spinks. He said they have Robin in the background vocals too. He played the song and Leon was the main voice. JD rapped some and then Asian Pete came in and mumbled some rap. Howard said he wants to smoke a blunt listen to this.
Howard asked if Robin wants to hear her part. Robin said she's enjoying this. Howard let the song play through. It was a full length song. Howard said just send him some money if you want this. Howard asked if they have a hit on their hands. Robin said she thinks so. Robin said they could have their own mumble channel. Howard said it's going to be Ronnie's wedding song. He said he just has to clear it with his fiancee.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he listens to when he's fucking. Howard said nothing. He said they just do it. Robin asked if they ever have a date night and put on some music. Howard said no. He said they like to get it over with fast. He said he gets in and gets out. He said his wife doesn't want him carrying on. He said once she's done weeping they're done. He said sometimes they have the TV on for lighting.
The caller asked if he gets harder watching The Bachelor. Howard said no. He said he saw Beth in a bathing suit down in Florida and he wanted to get it on. He said they marched right into the bedroom and then did their thing. He said 10 minutes later they were out by the pool again. He said her safe word is Farfoof.
Howard said he has no complaints about what they do. He said he gives his wife a thing to bite down on while they're doing their thing. He said he thinks he's better in bed since he started doing Peloton. He said he can give it to her hard. He said he's able to move rapidly. He said he's doing pretty good in that department. He said he can calm down and satisfy you for 3 minutes. He said it's not over in a second.
Howard said Beth doesn't want build up. He said he's tried but she doesn't want it. He said he's really religious about the Peloton thing. He said he did it all vacation. He said he only uses Jen Sherman. He said he has done some of her classes twice. He said he likes her. He said even his wife noticed he isn't out of breath. He said Robin must like it hard.
Robin said when you're young you can do anything you want. She said you can walk down the street with a walking stick. She said now you think something of it when you're at their age. Howard said he has a walking stick but his wife won't let him use it. He said he gets nervous on the ice. He said he has special boots that cling and he has this walking stick that won't let you fall. He said it's like a stick you use in the Alps when you're walking on the ice. He said his wife calls it a cane. He said she won't let him use it.
Howard said he just doesn't want to fall and hurt himself on the ice. Robin said god forbid he should break a hip or something. Howard said he wants to get he trekking poles. Robin said if he was 25 she wouldn't say anything. Howard said she must think he's giving into something silly. He said he's nervous on the ice. He said he just wants to move to Florida. He said it was like 79 degrees every day down there. He said they're talking about snow later today there in New York. Robin said it was okay but then it got really cold.
Howard hung up on Jeff and said that hour ran for one year. He said the two went on forever and when they combined them they failed. He said Jeff got the name wrong.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he should make a video for the mumble rap song. He also said maybe John Varvatos can make him some special shoes for walking in the snow.
Howard took a call from a guy whose line was so messed up that he wasn't able to understand a word he was saying. Howard said he's not sure what he's calling in on but it ain't a phone. Howard told him to try again. The caller said something about swim suits and swim trunks. Howard wondered what he was talking about. Robin said he said something about swim suit and trunks. The caller said it's not a bathing suit. He said he's not taking a bath. Howard said he's arguing that he said bathing suit. The caller was still going on and on about swim trunks. Howard said bathing is the same thing. He said it's a bathing suit. He said going in a bath tub is the same thing as going in the pool. Howard asked why he'd call in with something so stupid. The caller said he got it wrong by calling it a bathing suit. Howard said it's called a bathing suit. He said he's not funny. He said this isn't an observational thing. He said this guy should do stand up. He told the guy to fuck off.
Howard said he's had it with people. He said the guy called in to fuck the whole show up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he watched that Match Game and Hollywood Squares thing and it was the worst show ever made. Howard asked why it was so bad. The caller said it was the execution. He said they had Bowser as the game show host and they had players going between the two shows. The caller said you could tell that Gene Rayburn didn't want to be there. Howard said he thinks he's had enough of this conversation. He said the combination of the shows didn't work. He said Jeff thought it was fascinating. Howard said he should just break and get to the news.
Howard said today's show was Benjy and a few laughs. They played Benjy in his HazMat suit scene. Howard said you can't even understand what he's saying. He said what a waste of time that was. Howard said he should break and do the news. He said they'll do a better job tomorrow. He spent a minute going over Benjy's awful acting before he went to break.
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Howard said he had a story to share with Robin. He said he can do that in the news. He had Fred play her into her news. Howard said that was sent in by The Labia King. It was to the tune of the Lion King theme.
Howard said he has a story that's so great. He said that Radio hall of fame is so bad. He said there's a guy who write's a column out of Chicago. He said this guy covers just radio. He said that most papers eliminated that column. He said that shows how low radio is. Robin said they would never do that to television columns. Howard said there was a guy in Washington DC who loved their show. He said they came to New York and Kay Gardella would rate their stuff without even listening to it. He said there was another guy who hated him at the Daily News. Howard said Dennis John Lewis was the only guy who liked him. He said everyone else would hammer him about how much he sucked.
Howard said this guy Robert Feeder still writes about radio. He said he was always nice to him in Chicago when they were syndicated here. Howard said Robert wrote about how a horrible mistake led to John Tesh returning his hall of fame award. Howard said this year they had the hall of fame and it was kind of a happening because Ryan Seacrest got one and Jimmy Fallon showed up to it. He said Kelly Ripa did too. He said it was kind of a real award show.
Howard said evidently John Tesh gets an award and to introduce him he has his wife Connie Sellecca introduce him. He said they somehow got her off stage after a short time. He said they don't televise this thing so there's no rush. Howard said this article says that Tesh was inducted into the hall of fame and then he packed it up and mailed it back because he was ticked off. Howard said the article says that Tesh was upset about the way his wife was treated at the ceremony. Howard said Tesh chose his wife to introduced him at the ceremony and when she went over the 3 minute limit they cued music to play her off. He said then they cut her microphone off and turned off the lights. Howard said they finally have someone who has some show biz gravitas and they treat her like that. Howard said good for John sending the award back. Howard said you can't sum up his career in 3 minutes. He said they need at least 10. Howard wondered what she said about him. He said he has to get that audio.
Howard said John should have asked him before going. He said John had his whole family there. He said they had Christian Slater and Dr. Ruth there too. He said they almost had it looking like a real award show. Howard said John probably didn't even notice they cut his wife off because she's such a bore. Howard said he also says he had cancer and prayed it away. Howard said he would pray to his doctor.
Howard said Tesh had second thoughts once he got home. Howard said his wife must have gotten to him. He said she must have complained about being cut off. Howard said the truth is that barely anyone cares about John Tesh's speech, never mind his wife. Howard said she spoke about John Tesh for over 3 minutes. He did an impression of what that might have sounded like.
Howard said he got a Radio hall of fame award. He said he doesn't know where it went though. He said he doesn't have it. Gary asked if it's not in his storage. Howard said it's not.
Howard said he has to hear that speech. He said he wants to know what he said that was so important. Howard said Connie can come in there and give her whole speech if she wants to.
Gary said the guy who didn't like Howard was George Maxian. Howard said there were a ton of guys. He said radio reviewers were usually guys who didn't have much going on. He said Robert Feeder was nice to him.
Howard read more about the John Tesh thing and the hall of fame people are saying that he sent it back so they can display it at the hall of fame. Howard said they say that this is the first time someone has returned an award. Howard said that's some apology. He said who knew Connie was so important. Robin said that's why she was so upset. Howard said he beat off to her so many times. He said he was shocked when she married John Tesh. Robin said she got a kick out of that story. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked if he saw Olivia Jade got back on social media. Howard said he saw that. He said he was right there for it. Robin said she said she can't talk about things legally. Howard said she can't talk about it so it was kind of boring. He said she did get hotter though. He said she's looking a little less like a kid and more like a woman. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said she has an annoying voice now too. Howard said it was kind of a bad broadcast. He said he got into Olivia Jade because she's really interesting. He said she'd try on outfits and show girls how to put on makeup and things like that. Robin said she also misses doing her videos. Howard said ''Wah.'' Robin had more audio for Howard to play. Howard asked if he's her oldest fan. Robin said probably. Howard said JD watches her too. JD said he got into her after Howard did. He said he's a little obsessed. Howard said he heard that JD made his wife mute the football game so he could watch her new video. JD said he did that. Robin said she has 2 million followers. Howard said he doesn't follow her. He said he just checks out her YouTube channel.
Robin said she saw that Oprah is on tour. She said Howard didn't tell her that. Howard said he does follow her. He said he's not sure what she's on tour with. He said he'd really like to go. Robin said what she is going to do is interview people for you on stage. Howard said it sounds horribly boring. He said you get to watch her do her TV show live. Robin said she's probably recording it. She said you have to pay and get a ticket to see her do this. Howard said he knows she's excited about it. He said everything is her favorite. Howard said she's way too into food.
Howard said Kid Rock goofed on Oprah and he got in trouble for that. He said they pulled him off the stage for what he was saying. He said he didn't understand it but it turns out he's saying he doesn't like Oprah because he was going to do her show and they made him make a statement about why he loves Oprah so much. He said he claims he's pissed off about that. He said he's not sure what he said on stage. Gary had a quote he read where Kid Rock said ''Fuck Oprah''... He said he has to find a better thing. He found something where he said they can such dick sideways. Gary said it wasn't racist if he doesn't like them. It included Kathie Lee Gifford and Joy Behar. Howard said they're all rich. Gary said the racist part is where he said that he might be accused of being racist for what he said. Howard said the whole thing is convoluted.
Robin read a story about Kanye West and Joel Osteen and how Kanye was told he was the greatest artist ever. Robin had some audio of Kanye talking about how he's the greatest artist that ever existed and now he's working for him. Howard said that's a good move. He said it doesn't work. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about people claiming that there's an attack on Christmas. Howard said there is no attack on it. Robin said that they say the attack is saying 'Happy holiday's'' instead of Merry Christmas. Howard said there is no attack on Christmas. He said there is so much Christmas going on. He said go look at Ronnie's lawn ornaments. Robin said Amazon is being called into question for selling Christmas ornaments with photos of Auschwitz on them. Howard said he gave those to Fred. He said it reminds him of the old country. Howard asked what you do with those. Robin said some Nazis might like that.
Robin said a lot of people were trying to convince her that Trump is mentally ill. She said she's not sure if he is. She said she doesn't think he is but he does say some wacky things. She said you have to be ready for wackiness. Robin said he declared that Christmas is under attack and so is Thanksgiving. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said he saw a comedy show piece on this and they showed how it started on FOX News and Trump must have seen it. He said he went to the rally that night and he said that and then the next day FOX and Friends didn't know where he got that from. He said Trump got it from FOX. Howard played more of Trump's fake outrage about this fake war on Thanksgiving.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's still watching SEAL Team. Howard said he is and he loves that and FBI. Robin said she doesn't watch those. Robin said she's really off of American television lately. She said she's not watching the networks. Howard said America makes the greatest entertainment. Robin said not on network TV anymore. Howard said he likes SEAL Team. He said David Boreanis is good in the show. Robin said she doesn't like the network shows with commercials. He said FX does a good job.
Robin read a story about Colin Kaepernick speaking at an Unthanksgiving event over the holiday. She had some audio from that event. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a man in Maine who was entering his home to celebrate Thanksgiving and he was shot and killed by his own booby trap. Robin said he had set up his own traps and this one got him. Fred played some Jackie Martling laughs for that story. Robin said the man had a hand gun set to go off if someone came in his front door. Robin said he had several around the house and this one got him.
Robin read a story about the weather in the area that's been blamed for 7 deaths already. Robin said they say it's going to start in the afternoon for them. Howard said he doesn't care about the cold but he ice and snow bother him. Robin said flights are being canceled already.
Howard said he's reading the fan feedback about last week's replays. He read some of the feedback they got about those shows. He had some feedback about High Energy Jon Hein and Eugene from Kentucky.
Robin read a story about the investigation into the 2016 election interference. Robin had some audio of some people arguing about that. Howard said it's such an insult to the intelligence community when they do this. Howard said if you don't trust them then we're doomed. Howard said they say the Russians interfered. He said it's not Ukraine or China. He said it's a direct connection to Russia. He said now U.S. senators are making shit up. He said we're done if this continues to happen.
Robin read a story about the polls that are showing support for the impeachment of Trump is declining. Howard said he doesn't get it. Robin had some audio of someone talking about the polls. Howard said the country is so divided and his supporters don't want to think he did anything wrong. Howard said if congress thinks he did something wrong then turn it over to the senate. He said they have to do their job and do what's right for the country.
Robin read a story about the President being asked if he wants to participate in the next round of hearings because he was calling it a sham. Robin said he has declined. He said he won't participate because it's a sham. Robin said he's off in Europe for the NATO hearings.
Robin read a story about John Kerry talking about climate change and how we have to treat it like war. Howard said he's right.
Robin read a story about Caitlyn Jenner being on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here in Britain. Howard said he did know that. Robin said Sophia Hutchins was on Piers Morgan's show talking about her relationship with Caitlyn. She said she's like family to her. Piers kept digging and asking if there is any hanky panky. Howard said that's not such an outrageous question. Robin said they never did get a straight answer. Howard said both of them are trans. Robin said she's pretty young. Howard said she's pretty good looking too. He said she's his kind of trans. He said that means he's confused. Howard said part of the fun of being a couple is walking around as a couple. He said just go with it if you're a couple.
Robin read a story about the new Bachelor who has asked Hannah B to join the show. Howard said it's rocking all of Bachelor Nation. He said he can't wait for it to start. He said he loves it. Robin said he's the one Hannah spent the night with in the Windmill and they had sex like 4 times. Howard said don't go back to someone who dumped you. He said he's kind of sick of her anyway. He said go find a career.
Robin read a story about President Trump declaring the drug cartels terrorists. Howard said he's right about that. Robin said there was a gun fight in Mexico that riddled a public building and left 21 people dead. Robin said she's not sure what labeling them terrorists means but this has got to stop. She said it was right near the Texas border. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about how Adam Sandler will be coming by today. Robin said she watched his movie last night. Howard said it's called ''Uncut Gems.'' He said he will see it but he hasn't yet. He said he didn't do all of his homework. Robin said she she was happy to see that he was alright after seeing the movie. She said some bad things happen to him in the movie. She said it looked very realistic.
Howard said he was just telling a group of people there that Benjy got what he wanted. He said he was thinking about yesterday's show and Benjy's acting. He said it was driving him crazy last night. Robin said she tries not to think about Benjy. Howard said a lot of people wrote in about his acting. He read through some of that. Howard said someone said they had no idea it was Benjy in that outfit but his acting was awful. They asked for him to be kicked off the show. Howard had some other email about Benjy and how funny it was. Howard said his acting wasn't any good. He played the clip of him mumbling through the HazMat suit.
Howard said Benjy is a guy who wants a shot at being an adult. He said he looks at him like a teenage boy even though he's like 50. He said this was a wonderful role for him. He said he's a man in charge in that role. He said he's a serious guy. He said when a police officer pulls you over he's not screaming at you. He said he comes to the car and speaks to you in a normal way. He said he will ask you to do things in a calm way. He said he's not screaming at you. He went through pulling over a car and writing up a ticket. He said a police officer is a guy in charge and he takes command.
Howard said he was thinking about Benjy and how he could have turned to this young actress and asked her calmly to leave the area. He said that was the whole part. He said for Benjy it was a wonderful part. He said he could pretend to be in charge. He said he wants to be a person who people respect. He wants people to see him in charge. He said here on this Bold and the Beautiful he got to be that person. He said he was carrying on about a back story and all of that. Robin said all of that flew out the window.
Howard said the back story is that he has to make sure the area is clear. He said he could ask the woman to leave because there is poison gas. He didn't have to scream. Robin said Benjy robs himself of these opportunities. She said they had figured he didn't need the mask but he was so bad in rehearsal that they put the mask on.
Howard said pretend you're a guy who is in an authoritative position and you're the adult in the room. He said he was consumed with this. Robin asked if he called him. Howard said he did not. Robin said he wasn't that consumed.
Howard read more feedback about Benjy. Someone said he's a Tantric conversationalist. Howard said someone wrote in about how he seems to have mental issues. Another person said Benjy thinks he's Andy Kaufman. Howard said he's said that many times. He said Andy worked in comedy clubs from the time he was a very young man and perfected an act.
Howard had one that said Benjy yells too much. He said that was signed Ronnie Mund. Howard said people wrote in about the mumble rap thing they talked about yesterday. He said they had their own song that they released and fans want more. Howard read some of the feedback about that mumble rap song.
Howard said Benjy wants to come in and respond to this whole thing. Benjy came in and said he doesn't think he blew it. Howard said he saw it, right? Benjy said he did. Howard said he thinks if he saw that he blew it he'd have some hope. Benjy said he thinks he could have done better. Howard said he thinks that if he did it better he would do it something like what he just said. Benjy said he can't remember the line. Howard said he knew this was going to happen. Benjy screamed the line again for Howard. Howard said he's still doing it wrong.
Howard said he's reversing the roles now. He said Benjy is the woman who is in the wrong area. He did his line in a calm way. He said he's like a cop and thinking like an authority. He said they have a dangerous situation there and that's it. He said the role isn't about him screaming like a child. He said he's acting like a little boy that's not in control. He said he's not trying to be mean. Benjy said he gets it. He said for this line he doesn't think he did horrible. Howard said they made him put the HazMat suit on. Benjy said it didn't look real because it was supposed to be filling up with poison gas. Benjy said it didn't have to do with his acting.
Howard asked if he thinks his role was a success. Benjy said the producer said it was a great job. Howard asked if he believes him. Benjy said he's not sure. He said he kept telling him it was. He said he thinks it was adequate. Howard said he was trying to give him some notes just in case he gets another shot. He said he doesn't think that will happen. He said he knows he's going to ignore his advice. Howard said he has done things like that. He said he has done a radio show for 40 years. He said Benjy is uncoachable. Benjy said he's just as good as Howard, Robin or Fred in on the spot acting. Howard asked what that means. Benjy said that's a cold read. Howard asked what good that is.
Howard said he heard from Derek that he didn't do a good job. Derek came in and said Benjy doesn't listen to anyone. He said he thinks they were just trying to be nice to him there. He said the whole thing is that they move very fast there on a soap opera. He said things came to a stop when Benjy was there. He said they did 3 or 4 rehearsals and 3 or 4 takes. He said Benjy just wasn't able to do it.
Howard said Derek told him that the crew thought Benjy was slow. Benjy said that does happen to him sometimes. Derek said Benjy thinks and he shoves his tongue into his bottom lip like he's dull. He said he's like High Pitch Erik when he was told how to use the scale. Robin said he's like someone in the special Olympics being told they did well.
Howard said it's such a great role for him. He said look up online what a police officer does. Benjy said he's not a cop. He said he's a guy who works at the place. Howard said he was a person of authority or in control. He said Mayor Giuliani didn't go down to ground zero and freak out. He said he spoke calmly and said they were going to do what they had to do to get back to normal. Benjy said there is a whole back story there. Howard said there is not. He said he's not going to get into that.
Howard said the whole crew thought Benjy was slow. Derek said that he was there to follow Benjy but they looked at him like he was his handler or something. Howard said Benjy screams in Sharknado. He said he was told not to scream like that in this show. He asked why he assumes that he'd be better than him or Robin in a cold read. Howard said he has acted in a few things. He asked why he would assume that he's better at a cold read. Benjy said if they had to convince someone on the street. Howard said they're not on the street. Howard said he has seen him on the street and it's a disaster. Benjy said he's not a horrible actor. He said he can act. Howard said if a director asks you to take it from a 10 to a 5 and then does the thing the same way how is that good acting. Benjy said he did take it down.
Derek said he has known Benjy for 5 years and it always seems like he's fucking with you. Howard said Benjy screams in every role he plays. Every time he plays a different person he sounds the same.
Derek said Benjy knows him and one day he thought his name was Doug. Benjy said that was a glitch and embarrassing. Benjy said he messed up. He said he just had a glitch.
Howard said he was thinking about Benjy's performance and it was really getting to him. He said he figured he'd tell him about it like a police officer talking to someone. He said he missed a fine opportunity. He said he doesn't always think about the role as the lead role. Benjy said he did the best he could. Howard said every performance is the same tone. Benjy asked why the anger. Howard said it's not anger. Derek said he has that dull look on his face again.
Howard asked Benjy to do his role like he suggested. Benjy paused and said he was thinking. Benjy did it again and yelled it instead of saying it calmly. Howard said just ask the woman to leave right now in a calm voice. He demonstrated it for Benjy. Benjy finally got it. Benjy said maybe they'll dub it in that way. Howard said then he would have been on camera and they could have had him back. Benjy said the mask thing was something that was going to happen either way. Howard said he has to ask him to leave now. Benjy said he has a line from his first play he ever did. He recited that and Howard said that's Blobby De Niro right there. Howard said he had to get that off his chest.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw Benjy in that suit and he looks like a school bus. Howard said he wasn't trying to belittle him or put him down. He said he was trying to give him some tips. He said he feels like he's trying to compete with him. He said he has no reason to say he can do a better cold read. Howard said he was praised for his acting in Private Parts. He said Benjy gets upset with him when he gives him some of his wisdom.
The caller asked how the Bold and the Beautiful let that be included. He said it speaks to the director and the people producing it. Howard said it must be ratings period and they need to pump up their numbers. He said they put Benjy in hoping he'd talk about it. Howard said he didn't talk about it before it happened because he doesn't want to be used that way. He said it backfired on them because this was the darkest period in soap opera history.
Howard said just like Gary he never gets to the point. He thanked him for the call and Sour Gary said ''one more thing...'' Howard said he's a mad genius. He said he has offered him jobs and he can't get it together.
Howard said he has tried to get Sour to work on the show but he can't get it to work. He said over Thanksgiving he was on a mad ass tear. He said he was calling everyone's voicemail. He said he's not sure what happens there but something happens. He said he usually goes radio silent over the summer. He said they didn't hear much from him in the fall and they got worried. He said now it's back to normal. He said over Thanksgiving he left a voicemail of him as Jackie the Joke Man telling bad jokes. He said this is hours of voicemails. He said it's like rehearsals for him. Howard played a clip of Sour doing his Jackie impression and making all kinds of weird noises. Sour was doing Jackie's act and Howard said that's what Jackie does. He said he had to have conversations with Jackie about that.
Howard played more of the audio and started cracking up saying that's his nightmare. He said there are millions of these things. He said voicemail is his canvas.
Howard said Sour left one where he was talking to his cat in that baby voice. He said that gets really creepy. Howard played some of that voicemail where Sour was going on talking to the cat in the baby voice. Howard said this goes on way too long. He said he's not sure if that's a woman's voice or his mom or what. He said he's not sure what he's up to. He said that went on for a real long time.
Howard said his fantasy was to have Sour Shoes to become a big star but he can't be corralled. He said he won't do what they tell him to. Howard said he did the baby voice and then morphed into Gary. He said he performed the Meow Mix theme as Gary. Howard played that clip next. Robin was cracking up at that one. Howard said imagine the voicemail going on and on with this. He said it doesn't end. He said he'll hang up and go on to another one. He said he won't hang up until he's cut off by the system.
Howard said then Sour got back to the brilliant stuff. He said he did a Pink Floyd song called ''The Great Gig in the Sky.'' He said he called in as Mariann from Brooklyn and did the song like her. He said it's quite brilliant. Howard played some of that performance. Sour was screaming like Mariann in that song. He had Mariann screaming that she loves Howard and all of that in the song. Howard said if you do an impression of someone you work all day on it. He said you can see he's working out his Mariann material. Sour went into some other noises from the show in that clip. Sour was doing a good Mariann impression too. Howard said they have hours of this stuff.
Robin said he could have a comedy album. Howard said now she's getting sucked into his world. Howard said they ran cables into his room at his house to capture his brilliance. He said it was no easy feat. He said it was very hot up there. He said he convinced the company to do this. Robin asked what happened. Howard said the guy never called in. He said he did it on his own time instead of when they need him. Robin said they had him in one day and tried to get him to do things. Howard said if he could be contained he could be the next Jim Carrey.
Gary said he was leaving them messages on weekends forever. He said he left him a note the other day and there was tree work being done around the house and they were cutting phone lines and stuff so that's why he wasn't calling in. He said you know that's bullshit. He said he thinks he did some things that got him into trouble. Howard said maybe the FBI had to get involved. Gary said exactly. Howard said he got in trouble for making phony phone calls at one point. He said he called Mel Karmazin once and got in trouble. Gary said he called Mel as Senator D'Amato and he talked to him for like an hour. He said Mel ran down there so angry yelling at him. He said he didn't have any control over him though.
Howard said Mel was such a no bullshit kind of guy. Gary said he thinks he told D'Amato things he didn't want Sour knowing. He said he thinks Sour called the Clintons and got their number and secret service came to his house. Howard laughed. Robin said she would love to see what happened there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't believe Sour isn't on the Bold and Beautiful instead of Benjy. Howard said he can't be corralled though. He said they'd never be able to get him to play a part.
Howard said Sour claims he played basketball with Adam Sandler once. Gary said it was in California and Sour pretended to be a student and he played with the guys while they didn't know he wasn't going to school there. He said they eventually figured out he didn't go there. Robin asked how he got out there to California. Howard said he works in a fast food joint. Robin said not anymore. Howard said he thought he was working at Roy Rogers. Gary said he's not sure what he's up to now. He said he has limited contact with him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the fact that they can't hire him makes it even better. He said he can't tell the difference between Gary and fake Gary. He said the best thing to do would be to skip Benjy next time and just go to Sour. Howard said the thing that makes him so great is that he does it for the love of doing it. Howard went to break after that. During the commercial he remembered that Sour ended up using their ISDN line to call into other radio shows instead of this one. He said that's why it didn't work out.
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Gary came in and said that Norman had been divorced a few times and he knew not to give up the rights to that song. Howard said the lawyers can get their hooks into you if they do that. Howard let the song play a little longer. He said he did a remake of that song. Robin said he made him some money. Howard said he loved the song so much he did it with his band the Losers. Howard had Fred play that version of the song. Howard said the music industry freaked out. He let that play for a short time. Howard said the original single sold 2 million copies, this version sold zero copies.
Howard said Norman Greenbaum is now 77 years old. He said he wanted to have a hit song so bad. Robin asked what happened. Howard said he had Mark Ronson help him out with a song. He said he sent him back a song and he asked him to go back into the studio. Howard said he told Mark to forget it. He said let dead dogs die. He said he's down on the canvas. Howard said nothing can be fixed. He said he has to thank the band Haim for helping out with the song but nothing is going to work for him. He said it's just not going to happen.
Howard said last week he got an email from the publisher of his book, ''Howard Stern Comes Again'', is the number one book on the Apple book list for the year. Robin asked what that means. Howard said he thinks it's important. He said he thinks what he was saying is that they sell e-books there at Apple and his book was the number one seller. Howard said he sent that to his agent and he got in touch with the publisher and asked what they're going to do about it. Howard said they got a note saying that Howard should do something about it. Howard said his agent suggested taking out and ad that he's number 1 but they said no. Howard said he asked his agent what good being number 1 is. He said it's kind of gosh for him to say something. He said they should be saying something. He said if a movie comes out and does well the movie studio comes out and says something. He said it's not George Clooney who has to say something. Robin said you don't see the actor or director out doing something.
Howard said he had his agent ask the book company to take an ad out. He said they emailed back and said they're not going to. He said it's like he has to throw his own parade. He said he got all deflated about that. He said if Oprah has a number one book there's a lot of hoopla over it. He said he has to toot his own horn. Fred played an air horn for him.
Howard said the only people who throw their own parades are dictators. He said he's not going to do that. Howard said he spoke to the guy at Simon and Schuster, Jonathan Karp, and he said he had that great news. He said Don wrote him asking to take out and ad and they said no. Howard said his big announcement is that they were number one on Apple. He said his career is so odd. Robin said it is. Howard said someone does an acting role and they become number one and he can't get noticed. Robin said if he won an academy award he wouldn't have to go around telling people. Howard said it's weird.
Howard said he doesn't want that ad now. Robin said he could have snuck one out. Howard said Don worked them for like 2 weeks. He said he wrote him back and said forget it. He said he's not getting an ad. He said it would have been nice to see a full page ad or something.
Howard said the publisher wrote him saying that Apple wanted him to write a blurb about what his favorite book of the year was. He said he doesn't read that many books. He said it didn't make any sense to him.
Howard said he was going to write that his favorite book of the year was his own book. He said he could have done that. He said it was embarrassing in a way asking for an ad and not getting it.
Howard said Sal and Richard are coming in nude to celebrate this news. They came in naked because they had a banner tied between their penises. Gary said the room they were in smelled so bad that he had to walk out. Sal said Richard's cock smells this morning. Richard said he didn't know they were going to be doing this today so he didn't clean up. He said the last time he bathed was on Sunday. Robin asked why he would take off his clothes. Richard said it's Howard's day today. Gary said the room smelled. He said he was in there for 45 seconds and he had to leave. He said he had to go wait up front. Sal said it's not him. He said he doesn't stink. He said if he doesn't wash he'll stink.
Sal told Gary to smell him. Gary said he's not going to take a whiff. They convinced him to try. Gary went in for a sniff and didn't smell anything with Sal. He sniffed Richard and coughed. He said he smells like a cabin that has been locked up for the winter. He said it's like moldy. Richard was laughing at him. Howard said it's not funny. Richard said Gary is crying over there. Gary said he didn't expect it to be that bad.
Gary said they were rehearsing and tying the banner to them. He said they have this banner that's on a base of a pole. He said they were going to stick their dicks with a ribbon and Richard's cock was getting cut but Sal was fine. He said the foreskin must be protecting it. Gary said it's really weird to be in the room with them doing that.
Howard said go ahead and show them what they have. Gary said they're going to both put their dicks in the hole of this pole. Richard said they're docking in a way. Howard said they have this thing that will unroll. Sal and Richard did their thing and the banner was unrolled. Howard said put that up on all the social media. He said that's nice that they're using their penises to promote his book. Sal and Richard posed for a photo. Richard asked if Howard wants to sniff his penis. Howard said he'll pass on that.
Howard said he has Arnold Schwarzenegger on the phone. He took the call and fake Arnold was congratulating him on the number 1 book thing. Howard spent a few minutes talking to Arnold about that and Arnold was cumming over and over because of his excitement. He was hitting different things with the loads. Howard cut him off and said they get the idea. He said those guys can beat a premise to death.
The caller, Jesse, said he got cat fished. He said he was on that app Bumble and he got catfished by this girl who told him to come see her. He said this 6'5'' black dude was sitting there naked and jerking off. He said he told him that she was in the back room getting ready. Howard said there has to be a law against that. The caller said he had a gun in his pocket and he told him this is how people get killed. He said if you set people up like that he could get killed. He said he cold have shot him for setting him up like that. Howard said he was in the guy's house though.
Howard asked what he woman told him. Jesse said she had a whole story about her life and what she was looking for. He said she was looking for some adult fun. He said that's what he was looking for. He said the picture was hot. He said she wasn't too hot though. He said it was a good photo because she didn't look too hot. He said he went over there after work. He said he was on his route driving his delivery truck. He said he drove out there 45 minutes away.
Howard asked if the guy told him to come in. Jesse said she told him the door would be open. He said that guy had some kind of blue tooth thing playing so it sounded like a woman was in the back room. He said he had him fooled. Howard asked if the place was dark. Jesse said it was dim. He said they had porno playing.
Howard said he can't imagine what was going on there. Jesse said the guy was naked and he had clothes laid out like someone else got naked in there. He said he laid out the clothes like there was a woman in the other room. He said you could tell the clothes were new and not worn. He said the guy had balls. He said he showed him his phone and had the woman telling him that he could give him head. Jesse said he wasn't going for that. He said he told him he was the stupidest person he's ever met if he thought that was going to work. Robin said he must have gotten someone to go along with it.
Howard asked why a guy would do that. He said why not go on a gay dating site instead. Robin said he must be on the down low. Jesse said that guy trolled the hell out of him.
Howard said he should have gone in the other room and said there's that hot Asian chick. Jesse said he did try to get into the other room. He said he was asking where she was. Howard asked what girl would have him come to her house with the door unlocked. Jesse said he's not desperate. He said he has similar things happen before and they go as planned.
Jesse said he went to the massage parlor a couple of days later and he got jock itch from them. He said he had to get stuff to put on it and it burns. Howard asked why he got that from that. Jesse said he was laying on his stomach the whole time and maybe they didn't clean their sheets properly. He said he had to buy that shit to spray on his balls. Howard asked if he got jerked off. Jesse said hell yeah he did. Howard said he must have gotten the crotch rot from the sheets. He said what a bullshit way to get an STD. He said he's not even getting a blow job.
Howard said Sal has a story about a friend who got beaten up by a trans person who blew him. Howard said it has to be Sal. Sal came in and said it wasn't him but he did get a lap dance from a trans person once. He said he was at a bachelor party and he was in a room. He said it was a hot, black fe-man. He said he sat down and she came over to dance and she had these stockings on. He said she had her tits hanging out. He said she came over and walked kind of like a mermaid. He said they were in a club for this bachelor party. He said she waddled over to him and he looks up and sees a guy banging a chick with a dick. He said he looks back at this woman and asked if she was a man. He said he asked her to open her legs and she stormed away. He said he saw the balls hanging out of the g-string. He said it was a man. He said he went back to the cashier and demanded his money back. He said he eventually got it back. He said they had 3 rooms there and he went to the trans room. He said all six guys went off and did their thing.
Howard said they must have known it was a trans room. Sal said they had a bunch of rooms there.
Howard asked about the guy who got beat up by the trans woman. Sal said they'll call him Jerry. He said this guy went to a club and met a woman and they get in at 2:30 in the morning and they make out. He said he whipped out his penis and the woman starts blowing him. He said he reaches into her dress and feels a cock. He said he asked if he was a fucking man. The woman says she thought he knew. Sal said his friend punched her and then the woman beat the shit out of him. Howard said there's nothing like getting beaten up by her after getting blown.
Howard took a call from the stripper Sal was talking about. The fake stripper made some jokes about Sal sucking her balls. Howard let him go and went to break after that.
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Howard took a call from a woman who said he did nothing but parade girls around when he was on terrestrial radio. She said now he just looks at penises and talks. Howard said when he was on terrestrial he was straight and now he's gay. The caller said it seems like it. Howard asked Robin to flash her beav to get the show back on track.
Howard said if you want something straight he saw that Brent posted a picture of his wife on Instagram. He said it shows her new tits and it has the hashtag ''tits.'' Howard showed Robin the picture. He said Brent is working on getting her to post a topless picture.
Brent came in and said that he's trying to find the right way to do it. He said they could do it on Twitter. He said they're going to do a full nude photo shoot eventually. Howard said they could do it there. Brent said Howard doesn't usually post full nudity. Howard said he thinks they can get that done.
Howard said he thinks Brent's wife is bigger than Robin. Brent said they're double Ds. Robin said she's a G. Howard said he thinks Robin found the only bra store that calls her a G. He said he thinks Brent's wife would be a G there too.
Howard said Brent is working on getting Katelyn to pose topless. He said he heard Brent has turned off comments on that picture. Brent said he had to. He said people ruin it by posting things you don't want to read.
Howard said he heard that Brent is the head of the fantasy football league there and he posted something wrong. He said Will was called the winner this week and it turns out he was in 10th place. Brent said he has some dyslexia and he screwed up. Howard said if he's in charge of the numbers he may want to find someone else to do it.
Howard asked if here was any swinging going on over vacation. Brent said they were with family and friends so there wasn't any of that going on.
Robin said she has a friend who is homophobic and she didn't know it. She said she thought he was liberal and open but all of a sudden because of this guy Pete running he finally fessed up. Robin said he said he doesn't like gay men and he thinks they're dishonest. Robin asked what you do in a situation like that. She asked if you drop that friend. Howard said you do. He said she has plenty of friends.
Howard said she has to drop this guy. He asked if she told him that Pete killed a deer. Robin said she didn't.
Howard said he thinks that the democrats can beat Trump if they just have someone who says they didn't bang a porn star while he was married or their campaign manager isn't in prison and he didn't run a fake university. Robin said Trump supporters don't believe any of that stuff is true anyway. She doesn't think that will work. Howard said Adam Sandler is there so he has to take a break and get to him.
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Howard came back and said he has Adam Sandler there and he's in ''Uncut Gems.'' He said he's very unassuming looking. He said he walks in without an attitude. Adam asked if other people do. Howard said some do. Adam said he doesn't know how you do that when you're on someone else's show. Adam said he had a hamburger late last night and that was a mistake. Howard asked if he had to make a doody. Adam said he's at it right away. Howard said he has to know. Adam said the cast from the movie were out at a dinner last night. Howard said he doesn't see anyone from his movie anymore. Adam said you do have a connection with them after you do a movie. He said he got very friendly with the director and producers of the movie.
Howard said he must have cum in his pants working with the basketball stuff in the new movie. He said he gets to work with all of these basketball dudes. Robin said Kevin Garnet was great in it. Howard said he got to work with Ronnie in his last movie. Adam said he wasn't very chatty today. Howard said he plays Charlie Chaplain there. He said he doesn't do much talking.
Howard asked if he went do acting classes. Adam said he went to NYU. Howard said all funny guys want to do a dramatic role. Adam said he can't imagine not getting an award for this. He said he was joking. Howard said he knows people who have been nominated and you have to go on a full on PR campaign to get it. He asked if Adam would do it. Adam said he's doing stuff he's never done before. Howard asked what he's doing. He said lets make a plan. He said he'll help. He said he has to be in on the plan though.
Adam said he hasn't done any print interviews in a long time. He said he has gotten burned in the past. He said they said he said stuff he didn't say and things like that. He said he was 22 or 23 when he did it. He said he'd read stuff after it and knew that he didn't say some of that stuff. He said he remembers something where they said he said something years ago that he didn't say.
Howard asked what it was they said. Adam said it wasn't anything crazy but they said he was criticizing Saturday Night Live while he was on Saturday Night Live. He said he didn't do that. He said some of the writers were upset. He said he never said that. He said he tried calling that person and they had a tape rolling and they didn't have the tape anymore.
Howard said David Brenner said you should bring a recorder with you. He said he knew that they'd fuck with you. Adam said David was a great guy and he was right up there for him. He said he was on Howard's show a lot. Howard said he was so great. He said he got angry with WNBC and went into the office and asked why they were fucking with him and to just let him do his thing. Howard said that was such a great thing for him to do. Adam asked how they got tight. Howard said David listened to his show and thought it was funny and he'd come in. He said no one was willing to come on the show but David did.
Adam said David was great to him to. He said he was friends with the owner of Pips and he brought David there to see him. He said David gave him some advice to cut back on the cursing. He said he figured he had to cut back. He said he did for a little while. He said he did it just in case David was watching. He said that was very nice.
Howard said David had this town house and he invited him over. He said he sent him a note asking him to come to his party. He said it was a show biz party. He said he didn't have anything at the time. He said he treated him like a human being. He said he felt like the Elephant Man. He said this guy was treating him like a human being.
Adam said he loved, as a Jew, that David Brenner had cool hair. He said he was never able to get that hair himself. He said he liked his jokes and how fun they were. He said he talked about his family. Howard said Adam was never embarrassed to be a Jew. He said there was none of that with him. Adam said Howard's not. Howard said he can't help it. He said just look at his face.
Howard said someone once told Adam not to do so much Jewish stuff. Adam said it was Rodney Dangerfield. He said he thinks it was a joke but it was after the Hanukkah song. He said even his father told him to calm down. He said he was going to get a Jewish star but his father said everyone already knows so calm down.
Howard asked if he caught shit where he lived since he was Jewish. Adam said he had to deal with the occasional asshole who would drop a penny by him. He said he would hear one drop behind him and just think ''This again?''
Adam said he was told that he had to do something if people did stuff like that. He said in his head he was terrified. He said his father taught him how to throw a punch. Howard said his father never taught him anything. Adam said Howard was very tall and lanky so they must have thought he could fight. Howard said no one did. He said he grew up in a neighborhood that was really rough. He said you had to fight. He said in 9th grad there were kids with full goatees who he had to fight with. Adam said getting hit in the face is bad. Howard said it's not as bad as you think it's going to be though.
Adam said he got hit in 7th grad once. He said everyone was telling stories about their pets. He said his father had a Toronodo and their dog choked himself with the electric windows. He said his dog did it 3 times and then this kid in front of him said it sounds like your dog was a fucking idiot. He said he loved his dog so he ended up smacking the kid in the face. He said the kid said he was going to fucking kill him. He said he went into the hallway and the kid went nuts on him. He said he swung his book bag at the kid but then he got him on the ground. He said his head smashed the hallway floor and he saw all of his friends yelling at him to fight back. He said he wasn't able to get his arms up so he took a beating. Howard said the shame of that is bad.
Howard said there's never a teacher around when you get the shit beat out of you. Adam said there was a teacher who didn't do anything about it fast enough. Howard said he had a guy choke him in shop class. He said the teacher turned around and threw an eraser and chalk at his head for fucking around. He said the teacher was afraid of the other guy.
Howard said he has to talk to him about a few things. He said he can't believe he called Adam Levine and asked him to do his daughter's Bat Mitzvah. Adam said Adam is such a good guy. Howard said Levine is such a good guy. Adam said he sat next to him at a Knicks game years ago. He said his mother's maiden name is Levine so they talked about that. He said Levine is a basketball fan and a good player too. Howard said he has to see him do Purple Rain at his birthday bash. Adam said he has seen him wail on the guitar. Howard said the guy is all buff and he has a hot wife. Adam said he can't believe he's a Jew. Howard said he tries to keep that quiet. Adam said he really doesn't. Howard said he's hung like a field mule too.
Adam said he texted Levine and he did feel like an asshole. He said he did it without even telling his wife. He said his wife and daughter did all of the planning. Howard said he's sure that it wasn't a big deal when he was a kid. Adam said it was in the basement in the house. Howard said of course it was because they wanted to keep it quiet.
Adam said his daughter was very excited about the theme being Galaxy. He said there were stars everywhere. He said it was really the nicest day and night. Howard asked if the price got to him. Adam said not at all. Howard said he heard that his kids are very normal and grounded. Adam said they are. He said they're very nice. Howard said he would think he would talk to his wife about how much they spent. Adam said he's not even sure what they spent on it. He said he has another daughter they have to do the same for. He said it was just a nice day. He said his daughter was great at doing the prayers and all of that.
Howard asked if the call to Adam Levine was out of the blue. Adam said it was. He said he did 3 tunes at the Bat Mitzvah. He said everyone was in love with him there. He said all the kids love Maroon 5. He said all of the women were staring at him so hard. Howard said they all think they can get fucked by him. Adam said he thinks he fucked half the people there. He said he's actually a gentleman. Adam said he was on stage singing and he was singing to his daughter and she was so happy about that. Adam said he'll do anything Adam wants him to.
Howard said Jennifer Aniston wasn't there. Adam said he was screaming at her for not coming. He said Jennifer had something going on out of town. He said she's the best. He said she came to his wedding. Howard asked how much she sent as a gift. Adam said he's not sure. He said she sent something nice.
Howard said he had a lot of stars there. He said he had Spade, Chris Rock and Conan there. Adam said Howard must love Conan. Howard said he does and he said his best interview was with Conan in his book. Howard said he downplays all of this but he likes to drive around and he calls out Conan's name outside his house. Adam said he does it every time he drives by his house. He said they live in the same neighborhood. Howard said he rings his bell and goes in there with the kids and then he says they're not wanted there and they leave. Adam said that's true. He said he's not good at sitting still. Howard said he can be home and be content. Adam said he has to do something like play basketball. He said he'll lose his mind if he doesn't exercise.
Howard said he gets hurt if he plays basketball. He said his fingers get stubbed. He said he's afraid of getting hit in the face since that's his money maker.
Howard said the other thing he did to Conan was volunteer Conan for a teacher thing at the school. Adam said he did that too. He said Conan was great to him when he was at Saturday Night Live. He said the writers wrote and hung out together and they were great. Howard said Adam learned how to write thanks to Conan. Adam said he didn't know how to write at all. He said back then they wrote with a pencil and yellow pad. He said he didn't know the format. He said he watched them do it and learned from them.
Adam said when he got Saturday Night Live he was roommates with Judd Apatow. He said he gave him some stuff for the show and it was great. Howard asked what he gave him. Adam said it was funny but he doesn't remember the exact stuff. He said all of these guys were very unselfish.
Howard said when he hosted Saturday Night Live recently he did great. He said he did that Chris Farley song and it was very poignant. He said he did the monologue and sang. Adam said that was about getting fired. Howard said he did the Sandler family bit too. Adam said those guys were great to him over there. He said it was exciting because everyone was ready to have a great show.
Howard said Adam finally had his day there. He said he went back after all those years and he must have been thinking ''Fuck you'' to Lorne firing him. Adam said he didn't have any of that. He said maybe 15 years ago he would have. He said he's old enough now to know. He said he knows what Saturday Night Live did for him. He said at the time he was hurt because he didn't know what he was going to do. He said it wasn't Lorne's idea. He said it was the head of NBC, Don Ohlmeyer. He said he knows that guy didn't like the team of him and Farley and those guys. Howard said he had been there for 5 years and he would have stayed maybe a year or two more. Adam said he's not good at saying goodbye so he may have never left.
Howard said everything turned out great but at the time he was livid. Adam said he was sad and covering up the sadness with being mad. He said he remembers seeing Farley and he said they didn't want him either. He said they were both mad together. He said they pretended it was for the best. Howard asked who fired him. Adam said he doesn't remember exactly what happened. Howard said he still relives that WNBC firing. He said that was Grant Tinker. He said he said over his dead body he'd never let Howard Stern work there again.
Adam said his manger, Sandy Werner, was talking to him and he said next year on the show... and Sandy said ''maybe you don't go back next year.'' He said he was trying to make it seem like he was fired. Howard said Billy Madison was already out and doing well. Adam said it did well enough to get Happy Gilmore made. Howard said you'd think they'd held on to him. Adam said he thinks they wanted to make it more of a political show and they thought he was too goofy. He said they got rid of him. Howard said he would have kept him on the show for Canteen boy alone.
Howard asked what he thinks about all of these guys on Saturday Night Live dating these actresses. He said that Pete is dating Kaia Gerber and Colin is dating Scarlett Johansson. Howard asked if he dated anyone like that when he was there. Adam said he loves his wife. He said he doesn't talk about his past. He said he's happy to just click with his wife and it's just him and her.
Howard asked where he met his wife. Adam said he met her where everyone meets, at Steven Dorff's party. Howard said he does attract a lot of people. Adam said he's a funny bastard. Howard said he saw him at a party and he was one of the first people he saw texting. He said he walked into Rick Rubin's house and he thought it was a party. He said they were all texting each other. He said Dorff was there. Adam said he remembers when that all started. He said he had a Motorola thing to text on. He said he got two and he gave one to his father. He said his father fucking loved it. He said he was an electrical engineer and he loved it. He said he would wake up to texts from his dad. Howard said it was something he could call someone on though. Adam said he gets angry when he asks someone to call and they end up texting. He said just fucking call them up.
Howard asked what happened with his wife at this party. Adam said a friend introduced them and they sat next to each other. He said they talked about shit and they had things in common with New York and Florida. Howard said it must make it easier to meet someone when they know who you are. Adam said it does help. He said he gets in the door easier. He said he and his wife shot the shit for hours at the party. He said they went to his house after that with some friends. He said they hung out there for a few more hours. Howard said he must have had a nice house. Adam said it was an awesome neighborhood. He said the house wasn't all that great. He said he lived with two buddies who slept there. He said they were great. He said Jackie said good night that night and he got her a sweatshirt when she said she was kind of cold. He said they said goodbye and held hands. He said then they said goodbye. He said he wasn't able to get her out of his head. He said he called her the next day and whatever. Howard said he didn't play any games. He said he called her right away after. He said he admires that and there's no reason to play games.
Adam asked if Howard did the same thing with Beth. Howard said Beth went home after the first night hanging out and he called her 3 hours later. He said he asked her if she wanted to see a movie with him at 6am. He said he didn't wanted to be apart from her. He said they stayed together after that. He said it's romantic. Adam said it was the same thing with them. He said they'd talk for 4 hours at a time. He said she could have done anything and you just call back. He said she went to Florida to see her grandma and she's still alive at 103 now. Howard asked if she's in good shape. Adam said it's good. He said she doesn't have everything in her mind but she's still funny. He said she was at Thanksgiving. He said she still says funny stuff. He said they walked her around down in Florida. He said she's a nice lady. He said sometimes she's a little out of it. Howard said give it to her since she's 103 years old.
Howard asked how long he waited before he popped the question. He said he is Adam Sandler and he has a lot of dough so he has to be sure. Adam said he didn't even think about it. He said he's not sure when he asked her to marry him. He said they lived together pretty quick. He said she came with him on a movie and she stayed with him. He said it was a couple of years. He said they still have fun together.
Howard said you see a lot of Hollywood relationships break up. He said he had to make out with Jennifer Aniston and she's a very nice looking woman. Howard said his wife comes with him to the set of Murder Mystery. He said his wife wanted him to make out more. Adam said his wife loves Jennifer so she had no problem with it. He said his wife loves everything Jennifer has to say.
Robin said Adam had some make out scenes in this new movie too. Howard asked if he had to be nude in any of the scenes he did. Adam said in the trunk of the car he had to be nude. He said he covered his dick with a sweatshirt that was in the trunk. He said it was horrible. Howard said he can't imagine that. He said he wouldn't have taken the part. Adam said it made it more difficult.
Howard said he may not have kissed Jennifer well enough because she didn't go to the Bat Mitzvah. Adam said she comes over and plays with the kids all night long. He said one of his kids had a bug bite and Jennifer was hanging out with them putting the stuff on the bite.
Howard said he has some life going on. He said he had Dustin Hoffman at the Bat Mitzvah. Adam said Spade's mother was loving that. Howard said he saw Dustin at a game once. He said he leaves early because he's a big star. He said Dustin walked up to him and gave him a hug and whispers in his ear. He said Dustin told him ''Never get bone spurs.''
Howard said he has to talk about this Uncut Gems and getting him an Academy Award. Adam said he's not going to be good at this. He said he's involved in it right now. Howard said he did an interview with the NY Times. Howard asked if they misquoted him at all. Adam said he doesn't know. He said he knows it's not going to feel like him in the article. He said he doesn't know what he's doing. He said you show your film and then you sit and they do these things called Taste Makers. He said they show the movie in front of like 50 people. He said they do it in a hotel with a screening room. Adam said he says hello to everyone and then they say they're a voter or they're in the Academy.
Howard said he has to know more about this. He said he made this movie ''Uncut Gems.'' He said Robin loved it and so did JD. He said Gary did too. He said they're raving about it. Adam said a lot of the characters in the movie were like what you'd see on Howard's show. Howard said his character was named Howard. He asked if it was named after him. Adam said it wasn't but the guys who made the film said they love Howard's show. Howard asked if he was their first choice for this role. Adam said they offered it to him 10 years ago and he didn't know about it. He said they talked to him about Howard and Al Goldstein and Rodney with him. He said they talked about how they wanted him to be a strong New York Jew. Howard asked if one of those guys is married to Emily Ratajkowski. Adam said one of them is. He mentioned the guy and Howard spent a minute talking about how hot Emily is and how he looks at her just about every day.
Howard asked Adam about playing the role of a Jeweler and how that went. Adam said he got into it. He said he ran into Howard one day when he was in character. Howard said he thought he was afraid he wouldn't recognize him. Adam said he did come back to him. Howard said he did have a leather jacket on and a mole on his face. Adam said they gave him a mole and that was a great idea. He said they gave him a different smile too. Howard said he immersed himself into the role. Adam said he would dress up and walk the block before going into the set. Howard said it seems like a tough life. Adam said that's every job. He said these guys know what they're doing. He said it's a rush when they make a big sale.
Howard said if you go down there to make a deal you go to the source. He said these guys might be the middle man. He said you don't know. Adam said you don't know. He said sometimes you know.
Howard said with the movie he has a big moment here. He said he's getting great reviews. Adam said that's different. He said he has gotten some over the years but this is different. Howard said now he has to get an Oscar nomination. Howard said he's all caught up in it now. Adam said he did that interview with the NY Times. He said they said to him that the only way a small movie like this is going to get an award is to jump into it. He said the Safdie Brothers worked so hard on it. He said he didn't want to do what he usually does.
Howard said when he was promoting this book he has out he was doing interviews and you start to open up. He said he didn't know why he was getting into so much detail. He said you second guess what you're doing and feel stupid. Adam said he stammers a lot and he doesn't know what his answer should be. Howard said one day you can feel one way and the next you change. He said maybe he doesn't know himself that well.
Howard said he has read that Adam can get angry and erupt. Adam said he can. He said he'll get angry with people who upset his family. Howard asked when he last went berserk. Adam said it's not that often. He said he hasn't gotten that way in a long time. Howard asked if he's medicated. Adam said he's not. He asked if Howard is. Howard said he's not but his wife thinks he should be.
Howard asked if Adam gets down at all. Adam said he does. Howard said he does too. He asked if he ever sits in a chair and just thinks about things. Adam said he does. He said he'll get angry if he's in the house and he's ready to go and the rest of the family is getting ready. He said he feels like he should be out playing basketball. He said he has to work out somehow. He asked if Howard still runs. Howard said he can't run. He said he has to do the Peloton bike now. He told Adam about what he does and how he can eat like a pig and still get the weight off. He said today he'll do 45 minutes after the show. He said he'll do 2 half hours and a 15 minute workout during the week. He said he lifts some weights too. He said it's not a lot though.
Adam said he used to work out in college. He said he did that until he was about 30. He said he cared about how much he benched. Howard asked how much he used to bench. Adam said he used to be able to do 225. He said he had friends who could do 300. He said he was doing maybe 1 or 2 reps with the 225. Howard said he could do that.
Howard said there are guys who get buff and they stop being funny. Adam said Carrot Top is still funny though. Howard said he agrees with him on that. He said there are some guys who stop being funny though.
Howard asked about doing Saturday Night Live and if that was tough to get back to. Adam said he was very nervous at first but as he got to know the cast he calmed down. He said he was really nervous at first. Howard asked if he went to his old office. Adam said he did and now that's the Weekend Update office. He said the office still looks the same. He said it felt good to go back into that room.
Howard said he has to get back to this Oscar thing. He said he wants him to get a nomination. Howard said he had to go to that event and ask for nominations. Adam said he was there asking questions abut he didn't want to talk about himself. He said he doesn't know what to do there. Howard asked what they tell him to do. Adam said his wife comes with him and she will talk to some of these people. He said they talk about the movie and he'll give the Safdie brothers the credit. He said he wants to do more with them so that will be good.
Howard said it will mean something to Adam if he gets a nomination. He said he can go to Conan's house with that if he wins.
Howard said Gary loved this movie. He said he's sorry he didn't see it before he came in. He said Robin saw it. Robin said she watched it last night and loved it. Adam thanked her for that. Robin said there was this guy who was kind of off putting at the beginning but then you fall for him. Robin said you start to root for him.
Howard said Mike Francesa is in the movie with him and he wants to call in and talk to him about it. Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his impression of Mike for Adam. Howard asked if he liked being in the movie. Sour Mike said he had a chicken parm for him on the set. Sour went into his Mad Dog Russo impression and did that for a few before Howard hung up on him.
Adam asked how he did that. Howard said that was Sour Shoes. Howard said Adam is in there asking people to please watch this movie and give him an Oscar nomination. Howard said the movie is opening on December 13th. He said that's on a Friday. Adam said it comes out wide after that. He said the 13th is just New York and L.A. He said he's not sure why they do that but they do it with this kind of movie.
Howard said he's producing the next Spade movie. Adam said he is. He said he doesn't get much money out of that. Howard said he's very busy. Adam said how about David's TV show doing well. Howard said that's great. Adam said Schneider loves Howard too. He said they all love the show.
Howard asked how the Netflix thing is going. Adam said it's great. He said Ted Sarandos says hello. Howard said they're not throwing pennies at him anymore. Adam said they throw dimes and quarters at him now.
Howard said Adam is doing well and he has a great wife. He said he sticks with her too. He said you have to give it to him.
Howard asked if he has a speech in mind if he gets a nomination. Adam said he would just go up with no speech written. He said he will have a Nike tux on. Howard said he has to dress up for that. Adam said he dressed up last night for this Gotham Awards thing. Howard asked what that is. Adam said he wore a suit to that. He said Adam Driver won. He said he loves Adam Driver. Howard asked if it was for Star Wars. Adam said it was for Marriage Story. He said it's a great story. Howard said he was up against him and lost. Adam said he got beaten severely. He said he had so many good jokes if he had won. He said he was going to talk about the short ribs there. He said Adam's speech was great.
Adam said they should hang out. Howard said he doesn't go out much. He said he is going out tonight. He said he's not saying where but he's going out with the big boss. He said it's like Adam and Ted Sarandos. Howard said he really likes Jim Meyer. He told Adam to say hello to Ted Sarandos. Adam said he asked when he was going to see Howard and he told him that he's having breakfast with De Niro. He said Ted wanted to come with him here but he had breakfast with De Niro. Howard said he's not a great conversationalist. Adam said he got to know Harvey Keitel. He said he's very funny. Howard asked if he has hung with De Niro. Adam said he has gotten to hang out with him and he talked quite a bit. Howard said he met him and sat across the table from him but he didn't say much.
Howard asked what he talked to De Niro about. Adam said they talked about The Irishman and things like that. Howard said maybe he'll meet him one day and he'll have a conversation like that. Adam said he's not that good at conversation either. He said he wants to go play basketball.
Howard said this movie was great according to Robin, JD and Gary. Robin said the movie is great. She said that he does an amazing speech in it. Howard said the movie is coming out on the 13th in New York and L.A. Adam said if he doesn't get the Oscar he's going to come back and do one that's so bad just to make everyone pay. He said that's how he gets them. Howard said he does the same thing for his radio show. He said he'll just play records.
Howard gave Adam some plugs and wrapped up. He said they learned a lot today. He said don't talk about Adam's dog or you'll get smacked in the face. Howard asked if he still has bulldogs. Adam said he does. Howard said he wants people to stop with the bulldog breeding. He said they can't breathe. Adam said he knows. Howard said they are cute though.
Howard asked if Adam's wife is Jewish. Adam said she converted. He said it was kind of important for both of them. He said they're kind of in their own world. He said she wasn't in a very religious family so it was kind of easy for her. Howard said Adam has charmed the pants off of everyone there again. He said he's going to go see the movie. He said he wants to see it in the theater. He said he saw Mr. Rogers and loved it. He said he tries to be a better person after seeing that. Howard said Adam did a great job in his movie and a great job promoting. He said he did just enough.
Howard asked if Adam has any hobbies. Adam said he likes to play guitar. He said he should take lessons again. Howard said come over and they'll paint together. He said he'll teach him.
Adam said maybe they can sing together. Howard did some singing for Adam when he put on some echo on his voice. He sang some In the Court of the Crimson King. Howard said that's tough to sing so early in the morning. Howard asked who he plays with. Adam said he has some friends. He said he has played with everyone. He said he used to have parties for the holidays and all of the musicians would come over. He said he played with Waddy Wachtel. Howard asked if he ever played with Joe Walsh. Adam said sure he has. Howard said Joe fucked him up so bad one night. He said they went out to a party one night and he was there with Leslie West and Joe. He said Joe asked him to come out and do Funk #49 with him. He said Joe taught him the chords and he asked him to turn off his amp. He said he turned his amp all the way up. He said he was terrible.
Howard asked what he played with Joe. Adam said he thinks they played three songs. Howard asked if he can read music. Adam said not really. Howard said how about writing a real song. Adam said he didn't wrote most of that Chris Farley song he did on Saturday Night Live. Howard said maybe he'll work with the guy who did.
Howard asked if he jammed with John Fogerty. Adam said he did at Largo. He said he got up on stage with him for a charity event that Judd Apatow was throwing. He said Apatow put him on last and Fogerty did 13 tunes and all the great ones. He said the place was going bananas and he had to go up after. Howard said John got ripped off with his songs. He said he came to his birthday show and blew the roof off the place.
Howard asked what he plays. Adam said he has a Strat. He said he's had the same guitar since he was 13. Howard said he'll play anything.
Howard asked if he played with Eddie Vedder. Adam said he has. He said he can't hold his own on stage. Howard said he wants to hear some of these performances. He said he wishes he could do that. Adam said Eddie came over one night when he was making a comedy album. He said he and Eddie stayed and jammed after a party. He said they sang a bunch of tunes and he has it somewhere. Howard said next time he comes in he has to bring it with him. Howard said he has to end this since they've gone so long. He said he's very easy to talk to. Howard gave him more plugs and tried to wrap up. They ended up talking about how Howard is friends with Joe Perry and Steven Tyler. Adam said he had Slash at a party once and he played Mamakin. He said he sang so hard that he had trouble with his voice for 2 years after that. He said he blew it out. Howard asked who he thinks is the best guitar player out there. Adam said maybe Jimmy Page. He said he loves Eddie Van Halen and Clapton too. Every time Howard tried to end the interview they ended up talking for another 5-10 minutes.
Howard said Fred is a great guitar player. He asked if he has a studio in his garage. Adam said he does. He said Lindsay Buckingham has been there. Adam said he used to do these Happy Madison parties. Howard asked what they were. Adam said he would have all kinds of bands over. He said he'd have bands that he loved growing up. He said Tom Morello would play a lot. Howard said that's a genius there. He said he's an angry guy. Adam said he's funny as shit. He said they'd have a party on a Thursday and the guys would come over 2 days before. He said they'd jam on a Tuesday. Howard said Lindsay Buckingham is an underrated guitar player. Howard asked if he knows Steve Miller. Adam said he loves him. Howard said he did an interview that he should listen to.
Howard asked if he hates anyone. Adam said not really. Howard asked if anyone has turned down his parties. Adam said he'll ask someone else to ask first to make sure they'll show up.
Howard tried to wrap up again but they ended up talking about the Gotham awards and how Adam lost that. Adam said he had to sit there and possibly get smacked in the face when he lost. He said there were no cameras there but there were people looking at him. He said he heard the name Adam and thought that he might win until he heard Driver. Howard asked who else lost. Adam said Willem Dafoe lost too. He said they were sitting near each other.
Howard said he hopes he gets an Oscar for this film. Howard gave him more plugs and asked if he has any advice for people. Adam said go for your dreams. Robin asked if that works for everyone. Adam said he's not sure. Howard said it worked for him. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said that was fun with Adam. He said it was fun to hear his stories. Robin said some people just know how to have fun. She said he came up with that Happy Madison party and the next thing he knows everyone is showing up.
Howard said Mariann from Brooklyn read the NY Times piece on Adam and it was very nice. Mariann was on the phone saying that the person who did the interview really loved him. Howard said he's afraid they're going to take it out of context. Mariann said she can't wait to see this movie. Robin said it's coming out December 13th.
Mariann said she hopes he gets the Oscar. Howard said he has to get out there and start kissing ass to get that nomination. He said he knows Joaquin Phoenix is out there doing that for Joker.
Howard took a call from Apples who said that was a great interview with Sandler. He said they should have a jam session. Howard said he might have to do that. He said he will go hang with all of those guys. Apples asked what he would do if he asked him to be in one of his movies. Howard said it's weird with the movies. He said he has had to turn down a couple. He said he's waiting for The Bold and the Beautiful instead. He said he was thinking about how happy he is not doing America's Got Talent and things like that now. He said that took up a lot of time. He said movies take a lot of time too. He said he's still thinking about doing one movie but he'd have to do an accent and he's not sure if he'd be up for that.
Howard had Fred play Robin into her news with a song parody. Howard said now they're parodying a Velvet Underground song.
Howard said these movies really do take a lot of time to shoot. He said he knows they went on a little long today. He had Robin get to her news.
Robin started off with a story about the FBI saying that new TV you just got might be spying on you. Robin said smart TVs with internet connections can be vulnerable to hacking. Howard said the criminal element are having a field day with this stuff. Robin said she heard there's a big problem with things being stolen off your porch. Robin said they say 90,000 packages a day are stolen. Howard said he has a buddy in the FBI who says there are so many scammers out there they can't keep up. Robin said they say that the TVs out there can keep an eye on you. Howard said he gets Chinese robocalls on his phone a lot too. He said he's not sure how they're going to rip him off if they speak Chinese. Robin had more about the TV thing and said you should put some tape over the camera on the TV if it has one. Howard said he puts a towel on his camera. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said there's a lot of people who would like to be Oprah's friend. Howard said he wouldn't mind that. Robin said Michelle Obama has slid into that. Robin said they say that Julia Roberts is going to travel with Michelle to Vietnam to talk about girl's education over there.
Robin asked Howard about executions. She said Howard has changed his mind about that. Howard said they get it wrong sometimes. He said that's the only reason. He said he's all for it if someone actually did kill someone. Robin said a man in Tennessee has been on death row for 30 years. She said the appeals can drag it out forever. Robin said he's due for execution but now he's blind. Robin said he can't commit any crimes anymore so they want to give him a break. Robin said that's what happens when they stay on death row so long.
Robin read about how today is called Giving Tuesday after Monday was Cyber Monday. Robin said it's to give to charity. Robin said you think about giving back to your community today. Robin said they estimate that $400 million was donated in 2018 across the participating countries. Robin said they say that we have to get that number up for this year. Robin asked if Howard has a set number to give. Howard said he has something in mind when he gives to charity. He said he wishes today was Tittie Tuesday instead. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Lil Bub passing away. Robin said he was one of the world's most famous cats. Robin said he was a dwarf cat. She said he had a lot of congenital problems. Robin said the owner put up a lot of pictures on social media. Robin said he had 2 million followers. She said that's Olivia Jade kind of followers. Robin had some quotes from the owner and they said the cat died in her sleep peacefully. Robin said they say that she helped to raise over $700,000 for charity in her life.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the Chinese robocalls are scams where they get people who speak Chinese and scam them because they speak the same language. Howard said it's so annoying. He said he gets a lot of them.
Howard took a call from a Chinese robocaller. He said he wishes he could get the FBI on them. Robin said they often leave a message. Howard said he'll take sauce on side.
Robin read a story about a couple, two dads, who have an adopted son who goes to a school in Utah. Robin said a substitute teacher asked what they were thankful for in the class and the son raised his hand and said he was thankful for being adopted by his two dads. Robin said the teacher said homosexuality is a sin and it's wrong for two men to live together. Robin said the little boy was probably traumatized. She said this 11 year old was bullied by this teacher. Robin said one of the dads posted this story on his Instagram. She had some audio of the dad talking about that. Howard said the problem is that it was the substitute. He said he had a substitute who would make him sick. Robin said even regular teachers can fuck a kid up. She said she had that problem herself. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the President being over in Great Britain for the NATO meetings. Robin asked if Howard knows what NATO stands for. Howard said it's the North American Treaty Organization or something. Robin said it's the North American Treaty Organization. Howard said he was just messing with her. He said they beat that information into him in school. Robin said Trump is over there defending himself over the impeachment inquiry into him. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about that while a helicopter engine was blasting behind him.
Howard took a call from a guy, Will, who said he is a disabled veteran and he takes a bunch of medication. He said listening to him is the best treatment he has ever had. He said he forgets about his pain. Howard said he's sorry to hear that he's a disabled veteran. He asked where he was injured. Will said he was in Desert Storm and Iraq. Howard asked what happened to him. Will said he got shot in a fire fight. He said he recovered from that and then he was in a hauler that carries troops. He said a mortar went off inside and killed everybody. He said he was the first on scene for that. He said his head is really bad. He was breaking up when he told the story. Howard asked how old he was at the time. He said he was 25. He said you don't trust people after that. He said the most contact he hears is his show and he loves it so much. Howard asked if he has anyone in his life. The caller said he has a wife and two step daughters. He said it's trying on them because of him breaking down all day. He said during this 4-5 hours he starts laughing and his wife loves to hit the replay when she gets home. Howard said he's sorry he's going through so much but he'd like to send him one of his books. He said he'll sign it. Will said he'd never ask for anything. Howard said it's fine and he'll send one. Howard asked Will who he likes the least on the show. Will said he likes everyone. Howard asked if he likes Benjy too. Will said he does.
Robin asked if he has people he can call. Will said he doesn't trust doctors and stuff. He said it seems like it's a rotating thing. Howard asked if it's like a cookie cutter thing. Will said not really. He said the V.A. has gotten better. He said Trump actually fixed the V.A. system. Howard said he heard from a lot of vets that it's not fixed. He put Will on hold to get his address so he can send that book.
Howard said that poor guy went to Iraq for a war that was a big waste of time. He said lets not get heavy though.
Robin read a story about President Trump giving an interview to Bill O'Reilly. Robin said this can really turn women off. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about Rudy Giuliani on O'Reilly's show. Robin said there you go. She said the President was referring people to talk to Rudy but now he's claiming he doesn't know what he was up to.
Robin read a story about Joe Biden saying that he's going to say a prayer for Trump while he's over in London.
Robin said they have an announcement about the first witness who will be speaking at the Impeachment hearings this week. Robin asked if Howard is interested in hearing about constitutional law. Howard said he is interested in that stuff. Robin said they're going to try to keep these proceedings as boring as possible for some reason.
Robin said they have a new energy secretary confirmed by congress. Robin said he was counted in by a count of 70 yes votes. Robin said she was watching CNN yesterday and they were talking about how we have about 10 years to start lowering emissions so we can get a grip on global warming. Howard said that's what Jor-El said about Krypton and no one listened. Robin said they say we have to change our relationship with fossil fuels. Howard said it might turn out that when they go everyone will go with them.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Carter going back into the hospital with a urinary tract infection. She wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Howard started the show talking about the big day they have coming up today. He said he was texting with Adam Sandler last night. Robin asked how he got his number. Howard said they exchanged numbers a while back. He said he doesn't like texting though. He said he feels they all have to be witty or a one liner. Howard said Robin texted yesterday. He said she doesn't joke around. He said she's no nonsense. He said Adam's was very nice too. He said he had a good time in there. He said it was a regular love fest going back and forth.
Howard said he likes to talk on the phone but briefly. He said some people don't know how to wrap up. He said all forms of communication are bad for him.
Howard said Hillary Clinton is coming in today. He said he can't believe it. He said he was up for hours last night. He said he has had the conversation in his head already. He said it's really good. He said here are so many things he wants to talk to her about. He said he needs to be alone in a room with her for about 17 hours. He said she's fascinating to him. He said her fame is like the Rolling Stones. He said the Clintons, the Obamas and families are like that. He said imagine what her life is like for her. He said it must be exhausting logistically. He said it has to be insane. He said he needs to know more about those things.
Howard said he always wanted to interview Hillary and especially during the election. He said he was probably advised not to. He said he was up all night thinking about Hillary. He said she was the head of the hall patrol in school and so was he. He said he could spend an hour on that alone. He said he wasn't elected though. He was appointed. He said he'll get to that later when she comes in.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves Howard. He said he got to take care of Ronnie when Aerosmith came out. He said he's a drunken mess. He said he worked for the venue where they played. Howard said Ronnie was out in Vegas a while ago and went to the concert. The caller said Ronnie was every bit of everything he wanted him to be. He said he loves Ronnie to death. He said he was douchey and out there and loud. Howard said he's not calling in to throw him under the bus at all. The caller said he was out of control shouting and yelling. He said he was grabbing people.
Ronnie came in and said he doesn't know who this guy is. He was calling himself Captain Trips. Ronnie said he wasn't drinking at all that night. He said he had to catch a plane at 6 in the morning and he doesn't drink before that. He said he wasn't acting stupid at all. He said he was in a VIP section just sitting there watching the concert. Ronnie said he doesn't know this guy at all. He said he's full of shit and he wasn't even there.
Howard asked Captain Trips if he's lying. Trips said he never lied a day in his life. Robin asked why he was near him. Trips said he took some pictures of him and Stephanie. He said he has them if he wants to see. Ronnie said he didn't do that. Howard said he almost doesn't care. He hung up on Trips. He said they're all bogged down with this.
Howard asked how Ronnie is doing. Ronnie said he's all good. Howard said he has to get Hillary Clinton up there. Ronnie said there are a bunch of people in charge there. He said there are people from Sirius involved. Howard said don't give her any sex tips. Ronnie said Sal came up with that idea. Howard said that would go over really big.
Howard said Sandler was saying that when he brought him up he was all business. Ronnie said he had to bring him up and then go meet with some people about Hillary. He said he had to go back downstairs. Howard said Adam was kind of freaked out. He said he didn't say much. Ronnie said he was talking to people in the elevator. He said he just let them be. Howard said he'd love to see a behind the scenes with Ronnie. He said they should have a camera following him around all day. He said he thinks there's a reality show there.
Howard said he wants to see all sides of Ronnie. He said Adam said he started to talk to him on the way down. Ronnie said he had more time to do that after the interview. Howard asked what they talked about. Ronnie said just a few things. Howard asked if he asked to be put in another movie. Ronnie said that Uncut Gems wasn't his movie. Howard said he might put him in another one of his movies. Ronnie said he loves that guy. He said he's really nice.
Robin asked if Ronnie has made up with Kurt Busch. Ronnie said they kind of made up. He said he's a good friend who was just fucking around. Howard asked if he apologized. Ronnie said not really. He said he just said it was for the radio. Howard said Ronnie loves the guy because he's Kurt Busch. Ronnie said yeah. Fred did the Ronnie Puppet thing and goofed on Ronnie a little bit. Ronnie said he did call Kurt and asked him what the fuck was up with that whole thing. He said he was serious. He said he kind of turned it off after that. He said he told him that they don't have NASCAR drivers on the show too much. He said he was supposed to be on this show live but he went to Kelly and Ryan first. Howard said they've never had a NASCAR driver on and he feels he got him on the show and he abused him. Ronnie said that's right.
Ronnie said the guy fucked with him on the Wrap Up Show too when he was on. Howard asked why he let him do that. Ronnie said he knows the way the guy is and he's a jokester. Howard said he keeps goofing on him so maybe he's like an abused woman. He says he won't do it again but then he does. Ronnie said he has to go get ready. He said he has things to do downstairs.
Howard asked if the guys who are working with Hillary are nice. Ronnie said one guy who was there yesterday was a big fan. Howard asked if he's going to be friends with that guy. Ronnie said he doesn't think so. Howard told him to go do his thing. He said this is Serious Ronnie coming out.
Howard said it was so great when Kurt called in calling Ronnie a douche. He said he has to take a break and stay on schedule. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he has a very exciting announcement to make. He said SiriusXM is growing so much and they have a new partnership with SiriusXM and the band U2. He said they're going to have exclusive content for subscribers of this and Pandora. Howard said Fred must be excited about that. Fred said it is big news. He said he just watched LiveAid and their performance was one of the best there. Howard said Gary was all excited about this too. Gary said something about it and had to clear his throat.
Howard asked what he expects to hear on the U2 channel. Gary said they have a lot of great songs that are deep cuts that he hopes to hear them play. Fred did the Gary puppet voice and goofed on Gary a little bit.
Howard played a few seconds of some of U2's big songs. Fred was still doing the Gary voice and talking about the albums he'd pick for his desert island list.
Howard said he thinks he's had enough of that. Robin said with that list they'd figure a way off of that island. Howard said Bono just took to the stage in Japan and gave them a shout out. He had some audio of that and said that just happened seconds ago. He played the clip and Bono mentioned Howard Stern and SiriusXM.
Howard said they're going to have a U2-X channel there with all kinds of content. He said it's coming in 2020.
Robin said she loves hearing the songs that inspired bands like that. Howard said maybe the Edge will be DJ'ing. Howard said they're way psyched up about it. He said there you go. He said he liked that announcement though. He said he heard Howard Stern and SiriusXM.
Shuli came in and said Jeff is very upset that he lost that. He said he has enemies and they'll make sure something like this will happen. Howard said he could have kept the income quiet but he reported it. He said the fans keep him honest. Jeff said he called up Social Security yesterday. He said he told them about it and they said they caught him. He said he reported it though so he wasn't caught.
Shuli said he got a call from Jeff when he went to pick up his daughter yesterday. He said he was all upset about the whole thing. Howard said he made money on Cameo and he had to report it. Shuli said he was doing this the correct way unlike some people who are making money and not reporting it. Howard said he's upset that other people do things illegally and he can't.
Howard said Erik made $70,000 and he's still doing it. Robin said Jeff is not happy about that. Howard said he wishes he could make money on Cameo and get SSI. Jeff said no. Howard said that's what he's talking about here. He said if you have SSI you have no other income. He said if you're getting money on both then you're double dipping and ripping off the government. Jeff said he reported it. Howard asked why he's yelling and crying. He asked if it's because Erik gets away with it. Jeff said he was just giving Shuli the exclusive. He said he's not a bad guy. He said he jumps down his throat all the time. Howard asked why he was yelling at Shuli. Jeff said he wasn't mad. Shuli said he told him he was upset that they took his benefits away. He said he was like ''Fuckin' Erik...'' Jeff told him to stop it. He said it didn't happen like that.
Howard asked what SSI pays him every month. Jeff said he gets $700 or so. He said he still gets food stamps too. He said he gets like $194 worth of food stamps. He said he gets full medical too. Jeff said yeah. Howard said what a country we live in. He said god bless America.
Howard asked why he can't work as a telemarketer or something. Robin said no one would understand him. they all did their Jeff the Drunk impressions where he mumbles everything. Howard said he thinks he must need public assistance. Howard said how about doing Cameo and make as much as he wants. Jeff said he's going to do that. Robin said they're not going to help. Shuli said he lowered his rate a coupe of weeks ago. He moved it down to $50 from $100. Shuli said Erik is charging $75. Howard said imagine paying Jeff 50 bucks for anything. Shuli said they're so boring. Jeff said he does them good. He said he's going to pull them up now so he can play one. Shuli said he left the job that he did best with that hand stamping job.
Jeff was looking for a clip to play. He was taking too long so Howard played one he had. In that one Jeff introduced himself from the Howard Stern Show. He was going on and on and talking really slow. Jeff explained what he was told to do and how he doesn't know this guy and asked what the fuck is wrong with this guy. He said what a fucking douche bag the guy is for making him do this.
Howard said this is so bad. Jeff said that guy ordered it and didn't give him any information. He said that's why he was yelling. Jeff played one of his own where he was wishing a guy a happy birthday and cursing up a storm.
Howard said he has to get off the phone with this guy. Jeff said that wasn't a good one. Howard said they played 2 and they were equally bad.
Howard said he doesn't like that Cameo lists them as from the Howard Stern Show. Jeff was playing another clip over him. Howard said this is so bad. The one Jeff was playing was the same one he had already played. Jeff said he has it now. He played a ''good one'' for Howard. Howard said maybe by 4pm he'll find a good one. Jeff said that one is the wrong one too. He played another one that was the right one that was supposed to be a good one. Jeff was talking about this woman who had shit her pants when she went out shopping. Jeff was just yelling at the woman. Howard said he has to go. He said it's only 50 bucks. He said it's still going. Jeff was calling her names and cursing her out. Jeff said the guy wrote to him saying it was the best 50 bucks he ever spent. He said put that in his pipe and smoke it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can't believe these guys get SSI. He said he has a brother in law who has been denied 5 times already and he's fighting brain cancer. Jeff said he was laying in a bed for 2 years before he got it. He said he was denied all that time. Howard said Jeff has a bad arm and this guy's brother in law has cancer and can't get it. The caller said it's just not right. Howard asked on what grounds he's being turned down. The caller said he's not sure what it is but he's been turned down 5 times. He said it makes his head spin when he hears this. Howard said Jeff has one bad arm and he gets it. He thanked the caller for the call.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik who said the reason people avoid Jeff is because he's not a good person. Jeff said Erik is an asshole and fuck off. Erik said he works for Blue Bloods and he sends that to SSI. He said they know about that. Erik said they hold back the money and they give him less because of that. Jeff said that's bullshit. He asked if he reports his Cameo. Erik said he gets a 1099 for Cameo and he gets that for his tax returns. Jeff said that's not okay. Howard said this is one moocher after another. Jeff asked if he still gets a SSI check every month. Erik said when he does Blue Bloods... Jeff kept yelling ''yes or no!'' He said he knows he doesn't report. Erik said fuck you to Jeff. Howard said this is how Hillary should have debated with Trump.
Erik and Jeff kept going at each other. Howard asked Erik if he gets a check from SSI. Erik said he does. He said they hold back a certain amount of money. He said that way they get paid back for Blue Bloods. Jeff said it's bullshit. Robin said she thinks what Erik is saying is that they withhold Social Security on the Blue Bloods check. Howard said he has to explain this to Erik. He said we all pay into that with our paychecks. He said this has nothing to do with his SSI benefit. Erik asked what Jeff is talking about. Howard said Jeff isn't getting any SSI when he's getting money from Cameo. Erik said he's getting it from SSI. Robin said that's because they don't know about the Cameo money. Erik said he gets a 1099 for his taxes. Jeff was yelling at him for not reporting it to SSI.
Howard said Erik is getting SSI and Cameo money. Shuli said Erik was laughing about that when he told him about Jeff. Erik said he was hanging out with Shuli over the weekend. Shuli tried to explain what he was talking about but Howard didn't care so he gave up.
Howard had Shuli do his Erik and Jeff impressions that he does so well. Shuli threw in a Elephant Boy impression too. Howard was cracking up at the conversation he had going on between the three of them. Shuli did his Tan Mom impression too. Howard said this is what he does in the shower. Shuli said his wife and kids suffer hearing all of this at home. He said he yells at his kids like Jeff telling them to clean up their room. Howard asked how old the kids are now. Shuli said they're 10 and 5. He said they know Erik because he was over at Thanksgiving. He said the kids look at him like they're trying to figure out what the fuck they're all about. He said he told Erik to tell them to clean up their room. He said Erik told them that Christmas would be canceled if they didn't clean up. He said Erik was on his best behavior there that day. He said he knows how to behave.
Shuli said they have a dog who loves everyone but she growls at Erik. Howard said his kids could probably outwit Erik. Shuli said he has some audio of them talking to Erik and it's like a 10 year old talking to a 4 year old. Howard said Erik doesn't understand the SSI thing and paying into it and getting the benefits. Shuli said they've all tried talking to Erik and talk some sense into him but he doesn't hear it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said High Pitch Erik and Jeff going back and forth is gold. Howard said he could listen to that for a while too. Shuli did his impression of them arguing again. He threw in Tan Mom and Elephant Boy again too. Shuli did his Elephant Boy impression where he left that message about looking for a bisexual couple on a dating service.
Howard took a call from Bobo who yelled at that guy for a second. Howard told him to stop it with the fake anger. Bobo said they have a Peloton ad that's really bad. He said the guy's wife is already in shape. He said he's angry about it because they didn't vet it correctly. Howard said no one knows what he's talking about. Howard said he has to explain Bobo now. He said what Bobo is trying to express is that Peloton has a digital ad and if you see it there's a very attractive woman who gets a Peloton bike to exercise on. He said she's on the bike working out. He said she's cycling really hard and at the end she tells her husband that it's a great gift. He said shit heads on the internet got upset because they're showing a really thin woman getting a bike from a man who wants her to get in shape. He said they're saying this thin woman is working out like a maniac and all of that. He said they're criticizing it all but it's all in their head. He said plenty of thin women would want this thing because they want to work out to get better health and get their heart rate up. He said they don't have to go to the gym. He said he has nothing to do with this company but it's not stupid. He said it's a marketing ploy for people who want to be in shape. He said everyone is so critical of everything these days. Robin said they're making something up. Howard said everyone has a dumb opinion.
Howard said he left America's Got Talent and he was going to leave after 2 or 3 years. He said he told NBC that. He said he has no criticism of NBC or America's Got Talent about that. He said by the third season he told them that he was going to leave. He said they asked him to please come back for a fourth season. He said at the same time Simon was going behind his back to get his job. He said he's doing this because some news people are so dumb. He said he has a report to play from a CW news channel. Howard said Simon is a skunk for going behind his back and trying to get his job. He said he found out through the Sony hack. He said that his emails came out but Simon denied he wrote them.
Howard said he has a beef with Simon and not NBC. He said when this Gabrielle Union thing came out he made the observation about how this is how Simon Cowell operates. He said he wasn't there when he was working on America's Got Talent. He said he talked about that this week. He said Sharon Osbourne was let go for criticizing the network. He said they brought in Heidi and Mel when he was there. He said it was a stable group when he was there. He said he made the observation that once Simon is involved it's very unusual that the men seem to stay and the women are all replaced. He said they get the younger and sexier gal. Howard said he was talking about how Simon never gets replaced but the girls do. He said he loves Howie but he gets to stay too. He said Simon gets to stay. He said Tyra Banks, Heidi and Mel B were all thrown off. He said this is what he was pointing out.
Howard said this is from Charlotte, North Carolina's CW channel. He said this is their news. He said this is how they got it wrong. He said it's stupid. He said they're painting him to be sexist because they're idiots. Howard played the clip and the reporter was talking about how the men get to stay on America's Got Talent but they replace the women with hotter chicks. Then one of the reporters said that she'd like to know why Howard was fired. Howard said he was defending the women and this woman has some convoluted thought in her head. He said she wants to know if he's fat, ugly or what. He said it had nothing to do with the story. Howard said whenever anchor people are given their own air time they screw it up. Howard said that woman has no comprehension about what's going on. He said she thinks he's attacking women. He said she has no idea what's happening.
Howard said he wants a law that says anchor people should have to stick to the teleprompter. He said they can't be given their own time.
Howard said the Peloton people did nothing wrong so he can change his tune on that. Bobo said alright. Howard said he read the Peloton stock went down 10 percent because of that commercial being criticized. He said he just wants to be able to ride that bike. He said he's not sure what's going on there. He went to break after that.
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Howard said he has a couple if items from the fan feedback. He read some feedback about Adam Sandler. He had some feedback from someone who said they wanted a love child between Adam and Howard and send them to her when she needs someone. Howard asked how they could have a love child. Robin said they take most of their genes and mix them together. Howard said he'll take that as a compliment.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about Benjy's acting. He read through some of that and people agreed that he's using the show to do shtick. Howard said someone said his suggestion about how to play that part as someone like a police officer was a good one. Howard read a bunch of comments about Benjy and there was a lot of Benjy bashing. Howard said some people are made physically ill by Benjy. Robin said Lassie is a better actor than Benjy. Howard had Fred playing clips of a dog barking and whining to show the dog's range.
Howard played some of the Benjy clip where he was muffled inside the HazMat suit. Howard said some listeners do appreciate Benjy. He read some of those emails where people were defending him. Howard said some people said it was too much Benjy this week.
Howard said Ham Hands Bill sent in a message about Benjy. He said it was creepy as expected. Bill was talking about the orgasm class that Benjy went to. He was talking about how he'd like to go and he could give oral sex because it gives him pleasure. Howard said he's not sure why he's whispering all the time. He said he must be at the library.
Howard said they got a call from a guy yesterday who was an Iraq war veteran. He said they got some feedback about that. He read through some of that. People were saying that the show has helped them over the years just like it helped Will the Veteran.
Howard played the call and Cathi took a call from High Pitch Erik who said that her show web site says live with Cathi for the Holidays and he wants to live with her. Cathi said it's Live like she's live on the air. Erik said he wants to live with her. Cathi took a call from fake Harvey Weinstein who said he needs a place to stay this holiday season. He said he wants to live with her. Cathi told them to cut the crap. She explained that the show is live and she's not looking for people to live with her. She took another call and Erik and Harvey were moving their stuff into her house. She hung up on them again and said she's telling them again that her show is live and that's it. She said she doesn't want anyone to live with her. She said she will never take their calls again.
Howard said Erik and Harvey are banned from calling into her show. Howard said Erik and Harvey are like the new Abbott and Costello. Robin said she doesn't think Cathi knows who Harvey Weinstein is. She said she must live in a bubble somewhere.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's really enjoying his book. She said she is also similar in her diet and she has eliminated meat and fish. She said she's curious about what Howard thinks about dairy. She said she likes to eat the same thing in the morning. Howard said he has cut back on eggs. He said he got a meatball hero that isn't meat. Robin said she could see the meat in that. Howard said it's like a sub. Robin said she didn't know it was a sandwich.
Howard said he does eat Yogurt in the morning. He said he puts fruit in it. Robin said don't get the cucumbers. Howard said he eats blueberries with that and the Metamucil. He said it tastes likes apple pie. He said you have to get on Metamucil. He said he doesn't have to push hard with his doody. He said he won't get Diverticulitis. He said it changed his life. He said he talks to himself in the bathroom and he doesn't have time for that now. He said it happens so fast that there's no time.
Howard let the caller go after that. She said she loves him so much. Howard said someone wrote a song parody about his Metamucil. He played that real quick and then went to break.
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Howard came back and said he's really excited that Hillary Clinton is there. He said she's the former first lady and secretary of state. Howard said he wants to stare at her for a while. He said this is so exciting for him. Hillary said it is for her too.
Howard said his fantasy was to meet her and to tell her what a hero she is to him. He said she has a level of expertise that is very exciting for him. He said he was very supportive of her and he was for her the first time she ran. Robin asked if she ever heard about his support of her. Hillary said she didn't until the 2016 campaign. Howard said he has so much to talk to her about. Robin said he's jumping out if his skin.
Howard said Hillary has the experience that he wanted in a president. He said she's done so much public service and that's what he needs. He said he needs someone proven. Hillary said they do need that.
Howard said Hillary and Chelsea have written a book called ''The Book of Gutsy Women: Favorite Stories of Courage and Resilience'' but there's no Oprah in it. Hillary said they left out some like Oprah and Angela Merkel because they get so much attention. She said she's interested in people who are successful and overcome unbelievable obstacles. Howard asked if he would call her Senator or Madam Secretary. Hillary said it can be Hillary too. Howard said he doesn't know her that well yet. He said it's Madam Secretary because that's the latest thing. He said it must be cool to be a senator too. He said you get to know them on a personal level and then she runs for president and they become so scummy to her. He asked if it's hard to get past that. Hillary said it is. She said it's 100 people and you're in elevators with them and on the floor with them. She said it used to be that you were there constantly with them. She said it's intense and you're making coalitions all the time. She said some senator will be against you one day and with you the next. She said she had so many people that she worked with. Howard said they admire you and then you run for president and they scream at you.
Hillary said that some senators have never said a bad word about her. She said that there are those who have fallen off the edge and changed their personality and politics. She said Lindsay Graham is one of those. She said that she has traveled with him a lot. She said she went around the world with McCain and Lindsay and he was funny and self deprecating. She said he believed in climate change back then too. She said she saw him as someone trying to figure out what he believed. She said she doesn't know what has happened there. She said she doesn't understand how he went from being a friend of John McCain to what he's become. Hillary said he was in a cage for 5 years and she admired John even though she didn't agree with him on all things. She said she's not sure what has happened to Lindsay Graham. She said that years ago he wrote a tribute to her and now it's like he had a brain snatch.
Howard said if she ran into Lindsay would she go over and say hello. Hillary said she probably would try to be. She said she would be. She said she went to the inauguration of Donald Trump. She said that was a very hard day for her. Howard said he was watching her more than Trump that day. He said she got 3 million more votes than that guy. He said he thinks she won. He said that he doesn't get this electoral college thing. He said when you're standing there watching this guy what is going through your head? He said she must have been on anti-depressants. Hillary said she was crushed and she didn't know what had happened. She said everything was pointing in that direction that she was going to win.
Hillary said that she was there at the inauguration and her husband had been president so she felt she should be there. She said she ran for president because she loves this country and she wanted to serve. Howard said she would have been spectacular. Howard asked if she would be crushing NATO right now. Hillary said no because we need them.
Hillary said she was hoping that Trump would be a good president. She said she called him that night and told Donald she would do whatever she could to help him. She said he was so shocked he was barely able to talk. Howard said he was shocked. Hillary said when she got there she was sitting with Bill and George and Laura Bush. She said he started in on that speech and it was so bizarre. She said that's when she got worried. She said a president is supposed to reach out to people who weren't for them. She said you have to pull the country together. She was hoping to hear some of that but she didn't. She said she was just sitting there like ''Wow.'' She said George Bush said to her ''Well that was some weird shit.''
Howard asked if everyone was all in from the start. Hillary said she doesn't think they were. She said a lot of the ones who have spoken out against him have left politics. Howard said that's cowardly. Hillary said she thinks it is. She said if she had lost to a normal republican she would have been upset but this is such an odd thing. She said he's so vindictive. She said she thinks some republicans thought they could handle Trump. She said now they're just being cowardly.
Howard asked what she thinks when Trump has people chanting ''Lock her up'' to this day. He asked if she fears for her life. Hillary said she does. She said there was a guy sending pipe bombs around not that long ago. She said that Trump incites violent emotions. She said that people are going around shooting places up and it's like they've been released. She said that she's not saying it's a direct cause but people are getting worked up. Hillary said that Donald has made it like Pandora's Box. She said that's hard to get back into the box.
Howard said he can't imagine the despair that night she lost. He said when you have to do comedy sketches like on Saturday Night Live it's not easy. Howard said Hillary has served presidents and been a senator. He said she cared about health care and all of that. Howard said she had to go out and do all of this BS. He said he saw her on Saturday Night Live and he knows she had to do it to show her personality. He said it has to be torture. Hillary said she has always enjoyed Saturday Night Live. She said it's not easy for her because she's not a comedian. She said she doesn't mind it at all really. She said she enjoys doing stuff that make people happy. Hillary said what she doesn't understand is that they have trivialized politics and now it's nothing but entertainment. She said there are serious issues. She said it's like a game show now. She said the consequences are affecting real people.
Howard said he used to have a fantasy about her debating Trump and just have trump point out Russia on a map. He said just have him name a president of a country. Hillary said that he said the wall was going to be along Colorado. Howard said Gerald Ford messed up something once and he didn't know about geography or history. He said he'd like to see them answer questions like that. Hillary said she kept thinking that they were going to get to the debates and they were going to be very determinative. She said that you can see moments when the audience goes. She said she thought he would stick with the same shtick. She said she thinks she won the debates but it doesn't matter that much anymore. Howard said she was almost too nice. Hillary said she doesn't know about that but she was very careful. She said she grew up in a time when you did not react to anything as a woman. She said she took a test in a room in college and these young men started harassing them saying they had no right to be there. She said that if they got a slot they'd have to go to Vietnam and lose their life. Hillary said they had to put their heads down and just take the test. Hillary said that she was a woman trying to do something that not all women had every done so she had to stay focused. She said that she just had to keep going. Howard said he understands that but it acts to your detriment now. Howard said she had that guy looming behind her on stage. Hillary said she could have told him to back up but the headlines would have been about her losing her calm and it would have worked against her. She said all the pundits would have said if she can't take that how is she going to take Putin.
Howard said he remembers this guy Lazio running against her for Senate and he came into her space. Howard said guys do that with her all the time. Hillary said guys know it's intimidating. Hillary said they were in Buffalo at the time and he called her out to sign a pledge for something. She said this was back in 2000. She said all the pundits said that he shook her. Howard said the guy sucked the air out of the room. He said he lost handily and she won. Hillary said the switch didn't happen until the next day. She said the women all spoke up. She said the men were saying that was something and the women were asking who that guy thinks he is.
Howard said you have to learn to deal with men. He said he's thinking that she can just turn to Trump and ask why he can't release his taxes. He said that you just stay there and keep asking about it.
Hillary said she used to try lawsuits years ago. She said she'd try cases against male lawyers and they would be all shapes and sizes. She said there had no been women lawyers in a lot of the court rooms in Arkansas. She said that one day she was trying a case and there were 5 guys in camouflage waiting for the trial to start. She said she asked the bailiff who they were and they were there to watch the lady lawyer in town. She said it was entertainment for them. She said things like that were firsts for her a lot. She said she would get called into court and she had no clothes. She said that she was told she could borrow some clothes from the judge's daughter. She said a guy would be able to wear the same suit every day. Robin said Marcia Clark had to have a makeover because there were so many people commenting on her look.
Hillary said there are still double standards out there. She said that you have to deal with it and absorb it.
Howard asked if she's behind anyone in particular. Hillary said she just wants someone who can win. She said she thinks according to the poles Biden is going to get the nomination. She said that they just need the electoral college. She said that you want to take the people who are already for you and add to them. She said it's tricky. She said there's also 24/7 news coverage. She said it never ends. She said you do something wrong and it's everywhere. She said people have to understand the environment they're in.
Howard said he knows she went to see Oklahoma the other night and he can't imagine what that must be like for her and her husband. Hillary was coughing up a storm so she was muting her microphone. Hillary said they make a big deal out of it. Howard asked if she needs a cough drop. Hillary said she has one. She said she thought she'd come on and cough some more like she did during the election.
Howard said he was wondering what the preparation is for going out. He said the Secret Service has to go through their thing and then they have to go back stage and say hello to everyone or they're considered douche bags. Howard said they're like the Rolling Stones or Led zeppelin or something. He said they're super well known and ever move is scrutinized. Howard asked if she likes that. Hillary said she doesn't mind it.
Howard asked if they have ever snuck out to see a movie or something. Hillary said they don't have their own cars now but hey have done that.
Howard said he thinks when you have Secret Service they're almost like the fathers who have to worry about your every move. He said you become infantalized. Hillary said Howard's therapy is paying off. She said he's very insightful. Howard asked if she has ever tried therapy. Hillary said she hasn't. She said she has done some counseling but it wasn't very intensive. She said it was a psychologist. Howard said he would think she would go to an MD. Hillary said she had a lot going on with her in the 90s so that's why she went.
Howard said he read about a sweet movement about her and her husband laying down at night and he takes her hand and holds it. Hillary said he did. Howard said that's a sweet gesture. Hillary said she's going to cry. She said she lost 2 friends and a brother this year. She said she misses all three of them so much. She said they died in May, June and July. She said she lost her brother in June. She said she lost a close friend in May. She said her name was Ellen Towsher. She said she lost her best friend from 6th grade to cancer. She ran out of things to keep her alive and she died in July.
Howard asked if Hillary thinks about death. Hillary said she thinks about it a little bit because she has lost 3 people lately. Howard asked if she's religious. Hillary said she is spiritual. Howard asked if she thinks she goes somewhere. Hillary said she does. She said she thinks religious beliefs and science are interchangeable. She said that she thinks energy keeps on going. Howard said that's comforting.
Howard asked if she dreamed about being president as a girl. Hillary said not at all. Howard asked if she dreamed about being a lawyer. Hillary said not that either. She didn't think about it until she was in college.
Howard asked what she means when she says her father is gruff. Hillary said he was a hard working man but he didn't understand ways of communicating. She said he would yell a lot. She said he would knock her brothers around a lot and he was old fashioned. Howard asked if she was afraid of him. Hillary said she was not. She said that he was so much like the other men in the neighborhood she grew up in. She said they all had that kind of depression and World War II mentality. She said they wanted to work and they loved sports. Howard said that's how he knew men too. He said he just had to have kids and make money and he was done. Hillary said they would play ball together and he would pitch and coach her. She said that he was a man of his time. Howard said her mother is more complex. He said it reminds him of his mother. Hillary said her mother was born to two teenagers. She said they were immature and they didn't know how to take care of her. She said her mom told her that when she was 3 years old her mother was going to go out so her mother gave her a meal coupon so when she was hungry she should go out and down to the restaurant around the corner and get fed. She was 3 years old. Hillary said back then they didn't have a cafeteria in school. She said that she was neglected. She said she had a little sister and she was put on a train at 8 and her sister was 5. She said they sent her to live with her paternal grandparents and they didn't want them either. She said the son didn't want them so they were sent there for 4-5 years and it was miserable. She said her mom took a job as a housekeeper and baby sitter at 13 years old. She said she didn't know this when she was a little girl.
Howard asked how that affects you. He asked how her mother has anything to give her. Hillary said what was remarkable about her mother is like Howard's mother. She said she was depressed. She said she wouldn't want to get out of bed. She said maybe not a day went by that she didn't wonder why she wasn't loved. Hillary said once she learned about this she asked how she survived and turned out to be resilient. She said her mother told her at critical moments someone was kind to her. She said that when she didn't have food in first grad her teacher would bring her food. She said she'd ask her if she wanted her extra sandwich.
Howard said he imagines Hillary growing up and her mother not taking care of her needs. He said he imagines her telling her that she has to stop her nonsense. Hillary said she never said that. She said what she would say was short of that. She said her mother wanted her to have the best life and education and make the best of what she had. Hillary said her mother was a great person. She said she never lost her desire to learn things. Hillary said she didn't get to go to college. She said she wasn't even sure she could go to high school. She said the woman who employed her asked if she wanted to go to high school. She said the house was one town over from where she wanted to go. She said the woman said if you get up early and get your chores done you can go to school but you have to come back. Hillary said this was a gift to her mother. She said she would run to school and run back. She said she only had two blouses. Howard said it sounds like she was a slave. Hillary said her mom said the mother and father in that house loved each other. She said she learned to be a mother and wife in that household.
Hillary said that her mother's mother contacted her and asked her to come to Chicago and they'd send her to college. She said that she left California and they refused to send her to college because they wanted her to clean house for them. She said it was worse for her. She said her mother was smart enough that she knew what it was like to raise children and she worked at it and was very supportive and loving.
Howard asked if she was a hard worker. Hillary said she is a very hard worker. Howard said that's why he wanted her to be president. Hillary said she was smart enough. Howard said she was captain of the hall patrol. Howard said he was too. He said that he got beaten up for that. He asked if she wore the belt and all of that. Hillary said she did. Howard said he was in a tough neighborhood and they beat him up for being like the police. He said it was a nightmare.
Howard said Hillary got into Wellsly. He asked if she ever had her IQ tested. Hillary said she didn't. She said her father went to Penn State on a scholarship. Howard said he must have been a tough guy. She said he played football and boxed. She said her brothers found out about the boxing. Howard asked if her mother ever stepped in when her father would throw them around. Hillary said she would.
Howard asked if Wellsly was all girls. Hillary said it was. Howard asked if she had boyfriends in high school. Hillary said she did. She said she loved someone before Bill. Howard asked if she would have married that guy. Hillary said no but she was in love. Howard said that guy must be pissed he didn't lock her down. Hillary said she dated a lot. She said she was pretty popular. Howard said boys were not her problem. Hillary said she had not met anyone she wanted to marry before she met Bill.
Howard asked if she ran for class president. Hillary said she did and she lost. She said that she helped a guy out who was running. She said she liked to help. Howard said he was shocked that Obama picked her for running for Secretary of State. Howard said he would be thinking that he could be doing that job as President. Hillary said that he gets elected and he asked her to come meet with him. She said the economy was a mess and he needed her help. She said that he asked her to go around and restore our relationships around the world. Hillary said things were touch and go between them for a while.
Howard said he remembers her Hillary Care and how she got vilified for that. Howard said then this new senator came into town. Howard said Bill and Obama are two of the best orators. Hillary said it was deep security and integrity. She said it was very adult. Howard said that she used to get a lot about her voice and hair and speaking. He asked if she ever asked Bill how he was connecting the way he did. He said it's an incredible skill. He said the campaign seems to rely on that. He said he wants a good executive to run the country. Hillary said Bill and Obama had to clean up the country and they did. She said they left it off better when they left.
Howard said he thinks that Hillary has something in common with Elizabeth Warren. He said people have a hard time connecting with her. He said that Warren was talking about how she met her husband. She asked the guy out. He said she was the one who asked him to marry her. Howard said he thinks he has this right but Hillary was at Yale and she was sitting in the library and she saw Bill was staring at her. Hillary said that's true. Howard said she went up to Bill and said that he should introduce himself to her. Howard said that's a vulnerable position to put yourself in. Hillary said she had seen him around campus and he looked like a Viking back in those days. She said he had a reddish beard. Howard said he doesn't think she'd be attracted to that. Hillary said she did though. Howard said this guy is walking around with the red beard and they were like Hippies. Howard said they thought they were being outrageous wearing what they wore but they were all wearing the same thing. He said they were all followers. Howard said someone said that to him when he was growing up and he was right.
Howard said Hillary went to Bill and said they should get to know each other. Hillary said she went right up to him and said they should get to know each other if they're going to be staring at each other. Hillary said that she introduced herself to him then and that's how they met.
Howard asked if Bill was a Rhodes Scholar at that point. Hillary said he was. Howard asked what happened next. Hillary said they were in the same class but he never showed up. She said he was busy with helping out with a campaign. Hillary said that things were magnetic with them. She said she wanted someone with a good heart who was smart and had ambition. She said if you're in Yale you have some ambition. Howard said he knew a guy who went to Yale and he got a lot of jobs as a freshman.
Howard asked if Hillary about the romance between her and Bill. Hillary said the last day of the class he finally showed up. She said they were walking about and he asked where she was going. She said she was going to register for classes. She said Bill went with her. She said they had a conversation and the registrar asked why Bill was there. He had already registered that morning. She said that they went on a 5 hour date that wasn't really formal. She said they got to the Yale art museum and they had closed because they were on strike. Hillary said Bill said that he could get her into the museum. She said he went off and came back and had a gentleman with him who was a janitor. He said he'd let them in if they pick up the trash on the lawn. She said they did that and got to go in and see the Rothcos in the museum. Howard said that reminds him of a movie he saw. He said he doesn't remember the name of the movie. Howard said this guy is a born people person. He said the janitor didn't know him at college. Howard said Bill loves people.
Hillary said Bill says everyone has a story and everyone has the right to have their story told. Howard said he was a great president. He said he could have had Bill and Hillary running the country as a team. He asked if he gave her advice. Hillary said sometimes he would. She said being a senator was a great job. She said she loved that job. She said she loved representing New York. She said that her job started in 2001 9 months into her job 9/11 happened. She said that became her job.
Howard said Al Franken was great. Hillary sad he did a good job in the senate. She said he worked really hard. Howard said he really did. Howard asked who she thinks is the best President other than her husband. Hillary said Lincoln. She said that Washington would be 1 degree off. She said that they understood the job. She said they both exercised thoughtful disciplined approaches to the job.
Howard said they wanted to make Washington King. He said he turned that down. Hillary said he quit after 2 terms too. She said she thinks Lincoln faced the worst possible choices. She said Washington was in the creative mode. She said there are some great works about Lincoln that she has read. She said she has a friend who has written some of that stuff. She said that it's really good. She said it has stuff in it that other people don't have. She said he felt he had to save the union and he had to make compromises. She said that he concluded that we can't have the United States with slavery. She said you look at the way he got older and older and broken down and he lived with the responsibilities he had. Howard said he had the whole United States at war. Hillary said it was a brutal war. She said they just went to see the Harriet movie. She said it was very good and very true to life. She said Harriet is in her book.
Howard said the Mr. Rogers movie was really good too. He said he wasn't into him as a kid. He said he was into Soupy Sales. Howard said he didn't have Mr. Rogers as a kid. He said his kids would watch him but they were bored by him. He said when you see this movie you fall in love with the guy. Hillary said she read something about Mr. Rogers and she decided to watch old versions of the show and her kids were watching it. She said it was like her kids exhaled and just watched this gentle man about being kind and they loved it. Howard said he had no idea who this guy was but Tom Hanks was great in it.
Howard said he has to find out more about Bill and Hillary's romance. He said he read that she loved the Brenda Starr comic when she was growing up. Hillary said she was so romantic.
Hillary said she and Bill went out to dinner on a formal date. Howard asked if they had kissed at this point. Hillary said not at the museum but they got there. She said in those days they played hard to get. Hillary said she still had a boyfriend at the time. She said it was someone from college. She said she had met him at Wellsly. She said she had been seeing him about 2 years at the time. Howard asked if she felt guilty about that. Hillary said not yet. She said they hadn't done anything yet. Hillary said she loved this guy too. Howard asked who knew all of this. He said she was a catch. Hillary said she doesn't know about that. She said her boyfriend was a conscientious objector. She said he had to do alternative service in Alabama and then Vermont. Howard said he wasn't able to be with her. Hillary said she did visit him in Alabama and Vermont. She said she got him a car that would freeze every day and she had to get it jumped all the time. Hillary said she would drive to Vermont and the car would stop. She said it was a messy car. She said they were kind of winding down at that point. Howard asked if she Facebooks this guy. Hillary said he actually died and she went to his funeral. Howard asked if he contacted her after she hooked up with Bill. Hillary said they stayed in touch. She said Bill thought he was a terrific guy too.
Howard asked if she kept tabs on this guy the whole time. Hillary said she just liked him. She said he was a good guy. He was really handsome too. She said he was very attractive and like a Greek god. She said contrary to what you might hear she likes men. Howard asked if she has ever had a lesbian affair. Hillary said never. Robin said when women hang out they get accused of that.
Hillary got back to her romance with Bill. She said they had a party at her dorm room. She said it was a couple of days after she went to the art museum with Bill. She said Bill stuck around and they talked and talked all night practically. She said it was great. She said a day later she got sick and they were supposed to go out. She said that she called and he came over with orange juice and chicken soup. She said they started dating after that. She said she broke up with the other guy. She said she went to see him to break up. She said she went to Vermont to do that. Hillary said she told him what was going on but they had already started to separate.
Hillary said she and Bill started dating and then they graduated in 1973. She said he took her to England and France. She said they ended up in the lake country in 1973 and he asked her to marry him and she said no. She said she wasn't ready yet. She said she still had things she wanted to do before marriage.
Hillary said in 1974 Bill got a call from a guy who asked Bill to be part of the impeachment inquiry into Richard Nixon. Bill said he was going to run for congress and Bill put John Dorr on the phone with her and she got the job. She said she went to Washington after that.
Howard said imagine if Nixon had done what Trump is doing now. He said if he had done what Trump is doing by denying it he may have survived. Hillary said she was on the case from January until he did resign. She said they were just looking at the evidence. Howard said he wasn't a horrible president. Hillary said Nixon did some great things like starting the EPA. She said he opened the door to China too. Hillary said he was a republican of a different era. She said he got the biggest electoral victory in the country. She said that Nixon got the point that he had yes men around him. She said in June of 1974 she was listening to the tapes that had been turned over. She said that when they went to the impeachment articles they were all being very discrete. She said it was obvious that he had obstructed justice. Howard said she got out of yale and then she's investigating the President of the United States.
Howard said he saw that Hillary got to meet Martin Luther King. Hillary said she got to shake hands with him. Howard asked how that happened. Hillary said it was because of her church. Hillary said the guy who ran the church wanted to show there was a world outside of their white neighborhood. She said that Martin Luther King was coming to Chicago so they wanted to take the kids to see him. Howard asked how she got to meet him. Hillary said he gave a sermon and they stood in line to meet him and shake his hand. Howard said this is so crazy. He said Bill got to meet JFK and then she gets to meet King. Howard said this is such a charmed life. Hillary said it's also where they put themselves. She said she wasn't interested in politics when she was a kid but she was interested in these people.
Howard said Bill becomes a governor of Arkansas and they're married. He said he thinks about her expertise and education. He said being the first lady of Arkansas is something but not enough. He said he thinks it's wasting who she is. Hillary said he was practicing law and she was always deeply committed. She said she tried to have an integrated life. Howard said he thinks she'd want to be in the public life. Hillary said she miscalculated something. She said they got married in 1975. She said she kept her name Hillary Rodham for her job. She said she was trying to avoid conflict. She said it became a huge issue and backfired on her. She said it was 1975 and then Chelsea was born in 1980 and they gave both of their names. Howard asked if Bill took it as not being able to control his woman. Hillary said there was some of that too. She said there was so much distraction there.
Howard said Bill becomes President and does she think about how she could do that too. Hillary said not at all. She said in Arkansas she felt like she was doing good work. She said when they get to Washington it's another big deal. She said Bill asked if she wanted to be involved in fixing health care. She said she wanted to do that. Howard said she took a lot of crap for that too. Hillary said it was a tough thing to do in Washington.
Howard asked who the greatest first lady was. Hillary said she would say Eleanor Roosevelt. She said she pushed her husband on many things and she was his eyes, ears and legs. Howard asked if she looked at her and thought she had to live up to that standard. Hillary said absolutely. Hillary said that her husband didn't want her in the formal mix.
Howard asked if she ever called former first ladies when Bill was elected. Hillary said of course she did. She said she had a great meeting with Jackie Kennedy. She said she went to her apartment on 5th Ave. She said it was a really nice apartment. She said she supported Bill. She said when he was elected it was such an abrupt change. She said you don't drive your own car and you're confined all the time. Hillary said she went to see Jackie and it was so great. She said what she was focused on was making the White House a home for their daughter. She said she was funny and gracious.
Howard asked if it was tough to move Chelsea to the White House. Hillary said they had to make a lot of decisions about where to go to school and things like that. She said she had the Paparazzi following her around. She said that Chelsea is always defending Baron Trump because she knew what all of that was like for her.
Hillary said she had great conversations with the former first ladies. She said they would go to different events together. She said she didn't get to know Pat Nixon but she admired Betty Ford. She said she put her in the book. She said she really did something for Breast cancer by making it okay to say the word breast. Hillary said her mother had a friend who had breast cancer and she died. Hillary said Betty Ford got breast cancer and she would get dressed up and she went out and started talking about it on the air. She said she saved lives that day. She said then she started the Betty Ford center. Howard said this is why we have to remember history. Howard said he was ashamed when he had his kidney scare. He said for someone to come out like Betty Ford did was insane. He said Gerald Ford wasn't a terrible president either. Hillary said he pardoned Nixon and that was controversial but he had been punished already. She said she thinks he did the right thing by resigning.
Hillary said that they had to do an intervention with Betty Ford for her addiction. She said that's the kind of courage that can make a difference in someone's life. Howard said Michael Dukakis' wife had an addiction too. He said that it all leads up to something. Hillary said people are much more willing to talk about it now.
Howard said when Hillary had that fainting spell they had her dead in the news. Hillary said she was out doing her schedules and she had to go out and do a 9/11 event. She said she got to that site that day and Chuck Schumer met her. Howard asked if she likes Chuck. Hillary said she does. She said he told her that he had the flu for 5 days. He said she started to feel sick that day and she went out and said some words. She said that they made it seem like she was dead and out of the grave.
Howard asked if she's getting her pneumonia shot and all of that. Hillary said she does and she asked if he got the Shingles vaccine. Howard said he did that and the flu. Howard and Hillary talked about vaccines for a minute.
Howard said Hillary's book ''The Book of Gutsy Women: Favorite Stories of Courage and Resilience'' is out now. She wrote the book with her daughter Chelsea.
Howard said he has a list of gutsy women that are in the book. Hillary said they wrote the book and had to cut it in half. She said it could have been 1000 pages.
Howard said his father said that if the public saw Camp David they would be outraged. Hillary said it's a military base. She said it's very rustic. She said there are pictures online of it. Howard asked why they won't show it. Hillary said Trump is going to have the G7 summit there. Howard said that's because he can't have it at his club. Hillary said that's right.
Howard said he would like to get awards from Hillary. He said he wants to know who her favorite congressmen are. He rattled off some names and went over them with Hillary.
Howard asked if she can go to the supermarket. Hillary said she does. Howard asked if the secret service are right there with her. Hillary said they hang back. Howard said he would be scared when Trump has his followers chanting ''Lock her up.'' all the time. Hillary said you can't be scared. Howard said he would love to have a full secret service detail with him. He said he'd have people kept away from him. He said he had people sitting behind him at the theater. He said he doesn't trust anyone. He said he has his own secretary of state and President.
Hillary said when you're as well known as they are you know people are going to come up to you. She said you can do it without bothering people. Howard said the selfie thing is the worst. Hillary said it is tough. She said the thing she misses is that they used to go do a rope line and people would shake your hand. She said they'd say something. She said now they don't say anything. She said they just take a picture. Hillary said by 2016 is just about taking the picture. She said you don't learn about the person's life and she misses that.
Howard asked Hillary if she thinks going to some of those places she skipped in 2016 would have made a difference. Hillary said you never know. She said that the Russians and Wikileaks did a number on her. She said they're going to do the same to whoever runs this time. Hillary said that Comey letter really got her in the end. Hillary said she has told people running that they can run the best campaign and get the nomination but you have to watch for voter suppression and things like that. She said you have to watch out for your personal email being stolen. She said they will use it to paint a picture of you that's totally untrue and made up. She said they can twist anything. She said they will also lie about you on social media. She said particularly Facebook.
Hillary said there was a study done after her election. She said they went to people who voted for Obama in 2012 and Trump in 2016. She said they said it was all about what they saw on Facebook. Howard said now they call the NY Times liars. He said it's the greatest paper of all time. Hillary said people are genuinely confused. She said people believed that she was dying back then. She said that they also believed that she had gotten arms to ISIS and that the Pope had endorsed Trump. She said it's a very strange time.
Howard said he has the perception that the presidency is that you only get one major push done. He said she would have had a tough time if she was elected. Howard asked what she would have wanted to get done. Hillary said she would have had to have tired to get more than one thing done. She said health care is one thing and immigration is another. She said she also would have lined up people to be put in as judges.
Howard said the economy isn't going to be fixed by the person who follows someone like Obama who was trying to get it better. He asked if Trump should take a bow on the economy or is that Obama. Hillary said she gives the bulk of it to Obama. She said the economy is on an even keel but there are some problems forming underneath. She said the trade battles are going to be a problem. She said they're short term wins and long term losses. She said the tax cut was a boon for the corporations and wealthy. She said that there are people who don't have $400 to put together. She said car payments are late and that's building up. She said that we have some slack in the economy. She said that she's not hoping for a collapse. She said she worries that we're not on a solid economy.
Howard asked if she was wishing that the Osama bin Laden thing was her presidency. Hillary said not at all. She said she was there to see it all going down. Howard asked if she can tell her husband about it before it happens. Hillary said not at all.
Hillary said Obama called Bill and told him before she did. She said it was an intense public experience for her. She said they met numerous times and they looked at the intelligence to figure out if it was real or not. She said the final day of the last meeting Obama went around the table and asked everyone what they thought. Biden said don't do it. She said the risks were enormous. She said they were going to fly into Pakistan and launch an assault on the worst terrorist of all time. She said this was presidential decision making. She said he had to make that decision and he slept on it. She said that she thought they should do it. She said she was in New York the day after 9/11. She said she likes that he took the time to think about it. She said she doesn't like impulsive people.
Howard asked if she saw bin Laden die. Hillary said the cameras went off right before it happened. She said that they didn't see it live.
Hillary said you know about the SEALs going in and the helicopter crashing. She said they tried to think of every scenario. She said they had another helicopter there to take them out. She said they had to blow up the chopper that crashed. She said they had to take the body of bin Laden out of there too. She said they took the women and children out of the compound and took them away from the helicopter they had to blow up. She said she loves that about the military. She said that she hates that about Trump getting the military guy off who committed war crimes. She said there are rules for warfare. She said that you have to be punished if you don't follow those rules. She said they didn't kill these people and they moved them to safety. Howard said what a bunch of great guys. He said it brings tears to his eyes hearing that story. Robin said that's a level of quality service.
Howard asked if Hillary thinks we should be in a panic because of what we don't even know about. Hillary said we have been saved over and over. Howard said she's talking about foiled plots and things like that. Hillary said turning spies our way and things like that is what she's talking about. Howard said there are devious people out there. Hillary said there are people working against us constantly. She said that's what drives her nuts about the republicans defending Russia and Putin. She said the Russians can divide us and they're succeeding. She said for whatever reason Trump is in that camp with them. She said we see that he's an admirer of dictators. He said it bothers her that republican senators are going with that.
Howard asked if she thinks there is anything crazy at Area 51. Hillary said she would have wanted to go visit if she was president. Howard said he wants to know what's there.
Howard asked if it bothers her that her fellow democrats are angry with her wanting to run again. He said even her allies are against it. Hillary said some of them are. Howard asked if she just wants to get out and never be heard from again. Hillary said she would never do that because it would only make her adversaries happy. Hillary said she has a knowledge about this Russia threat. She said she has seen things and she knows that here is a threat.
Howard asked if we're against Bernie. Hillary said not at all. She said she's kind of disappointed that he didn't endorse her. She said he came in too late. She said that we have to join forces and beat Trump. She said they have to get that done. She said that Trump has such rage against people who are against him. She said 60 Minutes did a story about the Russian hackers and they proved that it worked. She said it works when a Nigerian prince calls someone and convinces them to send them thousands of dollars.
Howard said they should be regulating the ads on Facebook. Hillary said that they really should be. She said it's freaky. Howard asked if she will endorse anyone right now. Hillary said he's going to endorse whoever the democratic nominee is. Howard said he would back Bloomberg. He said Buttigieg is interesting. Hillary said he's very smart. Howard said her husband was some president. Hillary said people forget that in November of 2012 Mitt Romeny was ahead. She said Mitt is a decent man but now that they can see that one person can have such power we have to get behind whoever it is.
Howard said he has to disagree with one person they have in the book. He said Sally Ride is in there. Howard said she had a young child at home. Hillary said she didn't have a young child. that was Christa McAuliffe. Howard said he's wrong then.
Howard said she's right about Helen Keller. He said she's in the book. He went over her with Hillary.
Howard asked if she considered Caitlyn Jenner. Hillary said no but she did put Danica Rome in there. Howard said anyone who is transgender has to be brave. Hillary said yes. Robin said Bruce Jenner had this history and he had this to deal with.
Howard asked who was better looking, Bill or her former boyfriend. Hillary said they were totally different looking. Howard said that was a good way to put it.
Howard went through more names of women who are in Hillary's book. Hillary said she wants people to be inspired by these people. Howard said he would have put Joan Rivers in there.
Howard said Geraldine Ferarro is in the book but he feels that she cost the election for Mondale. Hillary said she's not sure about that. Hillary said she wouldn't have put her in the book if she thought that.
Howard said Hillary included Ellen Degeneres in her book. Howard said he has her in his book too. Howard said she was very brave to come out like she did. Howard said when someone comes out it's still a big deal. Hillary said she handled it very well.
Howard said Ellen got in trouble for showing George Bush something on her phone and it turns out it was a painting of his. Hillary said he should talk to him about that.
Howard said Hillary has this girl Greta Thunberg in the book. He said how about this kid. He said they call her names but this is a 16 year old who is amazing. Hillary said we are condemning our planet and it makes her sick. She said she would have been on it if she had gotten into office. She said they would be into renewables more.
Howard ran down the list of people Hillary included in the book. He said her book is number 1. Howard said his book was number 1 and he asked them to put an ad out and they said no. He said they just want him to talk about it.
Howard asked if she worked with Jonathan Karp over there. Hillary said she did. Howard went over more women on the list. He said he has to read her book because he needs to know more history.
Howard said he doesn't get Poetry. He said that Hillary has Maya Angelou in the book. Hillary told Howard why she thinks she should be in the book. Robin said she thinks that she's the creation of Oprah Winfrey.
Howard and Hillary talked about Nelson Mandela for a short time. Hillary told Howard about a speech he gave after getting out of jail and thanked three white jailers who had treated him like a man. She said Nelson was modeling what you should strive for. Howard said he's so moved by that. He said what a guy. He said what a world we live in. He said it's like the second coming of Jesus.
Howard said it has been great to have her in there. He said he was begging her to come on the show. He said it's a weird thing that he has to tell her. He said Lee Abrams used to label the audience. He said he called some earth dogs. He said it wasn't a negative word but it meant a working class kind of guy. Howard said he thought that if she had been elected that it would be spectacular. He said he thought he could talk to her like a person and say to the earth dog audience that this is a cool woman. He said she cares and she has devoted her life to public service. He said he was hoping to get a couple more votes there. Hillary said she didn't know about it but she probably wouldn't have done it. She said in a presidential campaign the priorities weren't done the way they should be. She said that Trump would do everything. She said she thinks she made a miscalculation. Howard said she just wants to get to work.
Robin said she did see her doing other radio shows. Howard said they don't know if it would have moved the needle or not.
Robin asked who these people are that are the ''deep state.'' Hillary said this is a term that was coined to describe certain countries like Pakistan. She explained what they were talking about and how it has a particular meaning. Robin said it started being used by Trump and his associates and it was so wrong headed. She said they have seen it in the impeachment. Hillary said they're maligning the military and civil service workers. Hillary said she knows these people and they aren't just democrats. She said they put country first. She said they are not plotting against the president. She said they have an obligation to say something if they see an abuse of power. She said Trump was trying to use Ukraine for his own personal gain. Howard said he's so disenchanted by what's going on.
Howard gave Hillary a plug for her book and talked to her about being a Fabian fan when she was younger. Howard said his sister was too. He talked to her about Paul McCartney who she's a huge fan of. They talked about the Rolling Stones and how great they think they are.
Howard found out Hillary has met Mick and Keith and her mother was a huge fan of Keith. Hillary told a story about how they had Keith call her mother for her birthday.
Howard asked Hillary how much time she can spend with her grand kids before she has to get out of the room. Hillary said it is exhausting. She said they spend a lot of time together though.
Howard said he's sorry he kept her so long but who knows if he'll ever see her again. He gave her more plugs and wrapped up.
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Howard came back and did a live commercial read. After that he asked if he's on now. Fred said he is.
Howard said he has a lot of people calling in to comment. He took a call from a woman who said she hasn't left the car the entire interview. She said hearing Hillary speak in every aspect was so incredible. She said to know she won the popular vote and lost the election she still cries over it. She said she loved hearing her speak. She said if she had come on when she was running she thinks she would have won. Howard said they'll never know for sure. He said he's glad it moved her.
Howard said he's quite moved by her too. He said he fell far behind so he has to catch up. He did another live commercial read.
Howard said they went very long today. He said he didn't get to Chris Wilding losing his anal virginity. He said he'll have to get to that next week.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she loves him. She said that was the best interview. She said she hung on every word. Howard said it was a lot of fun for him. She said she knows it was fun for him. She said she was waiting for her to cough and she did. Howard said they heard it all. She said she coughed and told some emotional stories.
Howard asked if Robin has some news to get to. Robin said there is a story about Sharon Osbourne coming out with the same thoughts as Howard about Gabrielle Union. Robin had some audio of her talking about that on Entertainment Tonight. Howard said he loves Sharon. He said the best thing to happen to The Talk is Sharon. He said she's just fuckin' awesome. Robin said she is a straight shooter. Robin had another clip for Howard to play.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he voted for Trump 3 years ago but if Hillary had come on he would have swung his vote. He said all he saw in the media was her being a monster. Howard said he's breaking his heart. He said he thinks it would have made a difference. He said he's glad he got to hear that. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said it was great that he had the real Hillary in the studio this time. She said she was waiting for the jokes but it turned out to be the real Hillary.
Robin read a story about Billie Eilish who received an Apple Music Award for global artist of the year. Robin had Howard play one of her songs. Howard said he thinks she has a couple more good albums in her at least. He said she's only 17. Robin said that her album is also album of the year and they'll be named songwriters of the year as well. Howard said he got a Secret Service pin. Robin said she got one too. Howard said he went over and talked to the guys who were with her and he wanted to talk to them about that job. He asked if he can get out of a ticket with that pin. Robin said she thinks she lost her pin already. Robin said she had to talk to the Secret Service when she went to talk to George H.W. Bush. She said she didn't have security clearance first. She said these two really tall men talked to her and the PR guy said she could talk to Bush but they had to clear her. Howard said those guys took pictures with Sal and Richard because they're fans.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is a conservative and he has always hated Hillary. He said this interview changed his entire process of thinking about her. He said he had no idea how cool she was. He said he will buy her book. Howard said he's not the only one. He said Alex Jones is on the phone and he likes her too. He had the fake Alex on the line saying this changed his view of her. He asked what her reptile gills looked like. Howard said Alex fooled him. He said there are some who will never change. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to tell Hillary he's sorry he believed the hype and they didn't elect the presidential person. Howard said they had a nice conversation. He said it was very interesting and broad. The caller said he wishes he had known this Hillary 3 years ago. Howard said he hears him and that breaks his heart. He said he's not sure if it would have made a difference or not but they do have a lot of listeners. Robin said it was the propaganda that really did it. The caller said he feels like a fool for believing some of that stuff. Howard said sometimes it's hard to see things clearly. He said he thinks she would have been an amazing president.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been a big fan since like 1979. He said he just saw the human side of Hillary today. He said she was stellar. He said she has flaws like the rest of us do. He said he didn't vote for her or Trump. He said he would vote for Larry the Cable Guy or someone like that. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's not a Hillary fan but there's definitely something about Howard interviewing her. He said no one was able to get her to the point that Howard did. He said it's a loss for her. He said the campaign managers that turned her away from Howard had it all wrong. Howard said she did come off so well today. He said it was all interesting to him.
Robin read a story about the TV spying that's in the news. She had a tip from someone about how you can safeguard yourself from your TV spying on you. Howard said he puts a wash cloth over his camera but just when he's jerking off. He said the rest of the time he doesn't care.
Robin said they were talking to Hillary about Nelson Mandela and forgiveness. Robin said that it's the greatest tool you can use for yourself. She said if you don't it can eat you up inside. Robin said she brings that up because a man was shot in his own apartment by a woman and that man's brother forgave that woman the day of her sentencing. Robin said that man hugged the woman in the court room that day. Howard asked how people are so together. Robin said he did that back in October. Robin said yesterday he was given the ethical courage award for that. Robin had some audio of the guy accepting his award. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is the best interviewer of all times. He said he did vote for Hillary and he was pissed off that she didn't come on the show. He said hearing her now he thinks she should run again. Howard said he doesn't know about that. Robin said Richard Nixon wasn't going to run again but he went on some TV show and he came off so well that his popularity shot up. She said he was propelled back into public life.
Robin read a story about Savanna Guthrie missing work because one of her kids threw a toy train at her eye and it tore her retina. Robin had some audio of her talking about that. She lost her vision temporarily. Robin said this was her 2 year old that may not even understand what he did.
Robin read a story about Kamala Harris dropping out of the presidential race because she's out of money. Robin said she said she's not a billionaire and she can't keep going.
Robin read a story about Michael Bloomberg is going up in the polls now after a blitz of commercials.
Robin read a story about Melania Trump speaking to kids in Baltimore about the opioid crisis and she got the worst booing that she's gotten in public. Robin had some audio of that booing. Robin said there's a new book coming out about Melania. He said a CNN writer says that she and Donald don't share a bedroom and she's on a different floor. Howard said that's a shame. Robin said she's on the third floor and that's her glam room. Howard asked if they don't fuck at all. Robin said that's what they're trying to imply. She said they say that Jackie and John Kennedy didn't share a room either but they were seen going into each other's rooms. She said no one is saying that Donald and Melania are going into each other's rooms. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:50am.
Today's show was over around 11:05am.
Today's show was over around 11:25am.