Howard started the show talking about how he wonders how many shows he's done in his life. Robin told him not to even think about that. Howard said it's Monday morning and if he wasn't here what would he be doing? He said he'd be worrying about his life. He said it's better that he's there. He said he's such a miserable guy. He said he should have a new years resolution to be a better guy. He said he never makes resolutions.
Robin said She was reading that Finland is the happiest place to live. She said the United States is 18th. Howard said he walks around miserable all the time. He said he's not sure why. Robin said She can't believe that we're number 18.
Howard asked where number 2 is. Robin said it's Norway. He said imagine he moves there and he makes the place miserable. He said he'd be like Debbie Downer. He said that was such a great bit on Saturday Night Live. Robin said Denmark is number 3. Robin said She hears about people liking Iceland. Howard said he heard that too. He said it sounds miserable but they say it's not all ice like the name would suggest.
Robin said these countries have long nights that last for days. Howard said they're all cold countries. Robin said the last one is Switzerland. Howard said they must not have a problem with their border wall. He said all of this crowding and ghetto like existence is bad. Robin said it's easier to have a smaller group of people agree on things. Robin said especially a homogenous group. Howard told her to watch her language.
Howard said today they're going to do a year in review show. He said they'll have the panel in there. He said that he was up watching the Golden Globes last night. Robin said the opening bit was terrible.
Howard took a call from a woman, Dara, who said that She has been listening to the show since She was a little girl and she's 29 now. She said She grew up with her dad and brother listening. Howard said to be 29 is so great. He said it gets more and more miserable as you get older. He said you think you can conquer the world. He said she's so lucky. He said we're all dying.
Dara asked if Howard saw Nick Cannon on the Masked Singer. Howard said he did see that. He said he wasn't wearing a turban and his hair is slicked back. He said he's evolving and changing. He said he kind of had Al Sharpton hair. He said maybe it's like Samuel L. Jackson in Unbreakable. He said he was worried about Nick. He said he's happy for him having a show but the show is getting talked about but not in a good way. He said they say it's a so bad that you have to watch it.
Howard said Nick has that new look. Robin said She has to look it up. Dara thanked Howard for taking her call. Howard said he thinks his shining moment was calling Nick and telling him not to leave America's Got Talent. He said he was telling him to stick with it. He said he had that cush job. He said they put anything against that show and it loses. He said that's why he did it. He said he went on a show that wasn't going to tank. He said the show has a built in audience. He said there's nothing on during the summer. He said they get a consistent 10-13 million viewers.
Howard wondered if Nick got anything from Mariah Carry when they broke up. Robin said that he had nothing to do with her making money so he probably didn't get anything. Howard said he's not sure if they had a pre-nup. He said she's not thinking about that. He said she's not playing chess, she's playing checkers. Howard asked if She thinks that was Nick's plan to get money from her. Robin said She doesn't think so. She said he's a proud black man.
Howard said he wishes he could marry someone and take their money. Fred was reading some information about their divorce and Nick has to put money into a trust for their kids. Fred said She also tried to sue a guy for braking off an engagement. Howard said poor nick. Fred said he thinks he got screwed. Robin said She thinks that's the way he wanted it. Howard said now he knows why he wears those turbans. He said he got them in the divorce agreement. He said he's putting the scarfs around his head.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he watched Private Parts with his kids and they let them listen to the show all the time. He said that the funniest part of the movie was his father's accent. He said the second thing was Paul Giamatti playing Pig Vomit. He said knowing his life story is great too. Howard said he was thinking about Private Parts. He said that because it was him they didn't get nominated for anything. Robin said that he did win the Blockbuster award. Howard said that award fell apart. He said Heather Locklear gave him that.
Howard said he was thinking about Private Parts and it is a great movie. He said he's the only one saying that. He said he has to since no one else is. Howard said Paul Giamatti was basically an unknown when he was in the movie. He said that catapulted him into the world of acting. He said Allison Janney was great in it too. He said that they could have nominated someone. He said he thinks he was brilliant himself. Robin said She had someone ask her who played her. Howard asked who it was. It was Robin.
Howard said the movie was funny and Betty Thomas did a great job directing. He said he could have seen them getting nominated. He said it was all because it was Howard Stern. He said that it was one of the best movies that year. He said that they nominated shitty movies that year.
The caller said he was surprised Gary wasn't in the movie more. Howard said he didn't come into the show until they were at WNBC and they would have had to gone into a time machine to find him. He said they did a test with Gary and his teeth didn't test well. Howard said it was a great movie.
Howard said he was watching the Golden Globes and it was really boring. He said that everyone is afraid to say anything. Robin said that they could declare comedy dead after that opening bit.
Howard said if the caller wants to find out more about Gary he can read his book. The caller said he got it. Howard did his impression of Gary talking about his favorite albums that he listed in his book. Howard had some audio from his audio book that he played for the caller. Howard stopped it and started picking it apart where Gary said if he was on a desert island he'd bring these albums. Howard said it's a deserted island, not a desert island. Robin said there was a show called Desert Island Discs. Gary said that's what he was thinking when he wrote that. Howard said he is nothing and he can't even play an instrument. He said he's picking his albums and he can't even play an instrument. Howard said get the fuck out of here with your book. He said his book is so annoying. He said Gary thinks he's so famous that everyone knows he's a Bruce Springsteen fan. Howard played more of the audio book clips and replayed some of the stuff he wanted to go over again.
Howard asked what the fuck is wrong with this book. He said someone must have helped him with it. Gary said he was reading this spontaneously and he had some reactions. Howard had to replay some of that. He played a part where Gary was talking about which records he'd bring with him to the island and he was talking about a time in his life when he would go from beginning to end of this album. Howard asked what he means by that. Gary said he doesn't know. He said the record had an impact on him at the time. Howard said he'd rather listen to Jon Hein's top 10 fast food restaurant straws list.
Howard said Audio Book Gary is on the phone. He had him on to talk about his favorite records of the 70s. Howard took the call and the guys played clips of Gary rambling about his favorite records. Howard talked to real Gary about some of that stuff. Howard asked if his ghost writer was Bobo.
Howard let the clips of Gary play on the phone. He told him to go scream at someone else. He said he has to get back to the desert island list of Gary's. He played more of the audio of Gary talking about the albums he'd bring with him.
Howard said they say that 90 percent of the people who bought his book have been committed to mental institutions. Howard asked what would make Gary think that people would care about his opinion on this stuff. He played more of the audio before Gary had the chance to answer. Howard asked why he was saying that this record holds up twice in a row. Gary said he was riffing at the time and not reading word for word. Howard had Gary talking about how much he liked Michael Jackson's Thriller album. Howard said that holds up about as well as Gary's book does. Then Gary said that this was another pivotal time in his life. Howard asked Gary why he's sniffing his finger. He asked if he had sex last night. Gary said he was working at the record store when the album was a hit. He said he's not sure why he said it was a pivotal time in his life.
Howard said Gary was working there and hitting the Svoogie buzzer in the store. Gary said that wasn't his idea. He said he was just doing what he was told and he was only 14. Howard said he loves the idea of a 14 year old following black people around in the store. Gary said they told him to get away from them or they'd beat him up. Howard said that's what he should have written about.
Howard said he loves that this was all a pivotal point in his life. He said it really was. Howard said Gary has never had a pivotal moment in his life. Howard said he loves that he's at number 5000 on the best seller list on Amazon. Gary said it still sells about 1000 books a year and he was number 6 for a while. Gary said he gets a list every few months about what sells. He said he still gets money for it. Howard said he never got a residual on his book. Robin said he's doing better than her too.
Howard played more of Gary's list of albums and kept stooping it to goof on Gary. At one point Gary said he knows what you're thinking about this Eminem album being on his list. Howard asked why he thinks he knows what he's thinking. Gary said he was guessing. Howard played more of Gary talking about that record and then some Beatles albums.
Howard said he loves Gary. Gary said if you love this book then you're interested in his opinion. He said he didn't force it on anyone. Howard and Fred did their Gary impressions talking about the book. Howard said he knows what you're thinking, why did I spend money on this book. Howard said it's funny the only rapper Gary likes is a white guy. He said there's something there.
Howard said he knows what you're thinking, rope or gun, which one are you going to kill yourself with. Howard played more of the Gary book where he was talking about more albums that still hold up for him. Howard said his giant teeth hold up his giant gums. He said he loves this guy. He said he's his producer. He said the other thing that holds up is his book as a door stop.
Howard asked Gary what album hasn't held up. Gary said he has to think about that. He said Huey Lewis and the News ''Sports.'' Howard said every record holds up unless it's really bad. Robin said if any album is worthy of going to that island of course it held up.
Howard played more of Gary talking about a Sinatra album he likes. He said that he picked a Led Zeppelin album too. He said he had to pick one. Howard asked if anyone listened to this list. Gary said people could have skipped it. Howard said he wants to nuke that island of his. Howard played a Baba Booey song parody after that.
Howard said there it is. He said he's not sure how they got into that. Gary said the guy called talking about the movie and then the book. Howard said blame that caller for that.
Howard said Bradley Cooper was wearing an all white tux. He said Lady Gaga was waiting for her coronation. He said they were right up front and they lost. He said anyone who won knocked them over. He said the show was very boring. Robins said She had to wait until She could fast forward. Howard said Jeff Bridges speech was good. He said that some people were lecturing. He said some black woman was talking about how she's calling on people to hire 50 percent women on the set. He said She was real serious. He said the chick who was hosting was lecturing and the audience thought it was a joke. He had some audio of that.
Howard said there wasn't much to report on. He said Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh were hosting. He said that no one was saying anything controversial. He said this was Sandra Oh being serious and having people laugh at her. Howard said everyone has become Oprah. He said that's the thing. He said they're acting like something has changed and nothing has changed. Howard said Regina King started lecturing too. He had some audio of Regina King talking about the things she's going to produce and have 50 percent women working on it. Howard said everyone is Oprah now.
Robin said Patricia Arquette mentioned that they had a female DP on her movie. She said not everyone knows what a DP is. Howard said She had her tits out in that dress. He said She has bigger tits than Robin does. Robin said they'll have to have some kind of contest. Howard said get in there Patricia. Howard said he told his wife to look at those titties. He said that's not sexist because She had them out there. He said he's not going to look away.
Howard played some audio of Patricia Arquette making a speech and getting cut. Howard said JD didn't like the show either. JD said he was bored though the whole thing. Robin said one girl called someone a bitch on the red carpet. Robin said she's from This is Us. JD said it was taken way out of context. Robin said this girl said something about Alison Brie. JD said She was just joking around. He said it's not what they're making it out to be.
JD said this woman who is the president of the foreign press takes big breaths. Howard said She might have some medical condition. Howard played some audio of her doing that. Fred played some audio clips over her breathing. Robin said She might be a smoker.
Howard said Christian Bale thanked Satan in his speech. Robin said some people he didn't get that joke either. Robin said he did the speech in his natural accent too. Howard had some audio of Bale making his speech and thanking Satan. He played George Bush in the movie ''Vice'' and it had something to do with that.
Howard said he has to get back to Gary's list of desert island records. He said he really should take a break and get to the year in review. He said this year was very good actually. He said it turns out they had a fabulous year. He went to break after that.
Howard said he wishes he could tweet live during those shows. He said he would be put down for his comments though. He said he'd be judges for shaming people. He said here are women who hire people to dress them and the look horrible. He said he does a cheer when he sees women putting their titties out there when they get older. He said that they want to look good as they age and that's inappropriate for their age. He said it's fun still. He said that's what's fun about it. He said it's his commentary.
Robin said they flashed to this old guy at one point when they mentioned a guy and it turned out to be that guy. Howard said Alan Arkin looked miserable. Robin said he hasn't aged that much. She said he looked the same at 40.
Howard said he thinks that women would want to fuck him over Michael Douglas at this point. He said that he is more handsome now than most of these guys. Gary said he used to jerk off to some of those women who have gotten older. Howard said he knows what he means. Howard said he never had looks and he's not that horrible now.
Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't paying attention to the phone. He was talking to someone at work or something. Howard asked why people call him and don't get on the line. Howard kept saying hello but the guy wasn't listening. Howard asked the guy what he was doing. The caller said it was the inner workings of his work place. Gary asked if he works at his house because he heard a door bell. Howard said that was a bell to warn him of different ethnic groups.
The caller asked if he is worried about the Bachelor being too cheesy this season. Howard said that's what he likes about that show. He said he doesn't watch Love Island. He said he likes Paradise and The Bachelor. Howard said he has watched that show and it's horrible. Gary said there's a woman on the show who is faking the Australian accent. He said it's pretty funny.
Howard said the Bachelor is a virgin. He said that he's in his 30s or late 20s. He said that something is going on there. He said he's a former NFL football player. Howard said there's something wrong with that. Shuli said Ronnie was doing anal at 16.
The caller said that when he was a teen his dad was looking at swinger magazines and stuff. He said he thought that was odd but he never thought about his dad having sex like Ronnie did. The caller asked if he watched Gotham. Howard said he did and it's a very good show. Howard said he's feeling like Jon Hein now. He said that he figured out that Jon has no interests in life other than watching TV. He said that Jon does nothing but watch TV. Howard said Jon's thing is watching TV. Gary said it is. Howard said he's just doing it anyway and his commenting on it is odd. He said to have no other interests other than TV is odd. Shuli said he likes to eat fast food too. Howard said that's all of his interest. He said he's glad that he paints and stuff. Robin said Jon is taking up his time with TV. She said there is a lot of variety out there.
Howard asked Jon if he likes anything but watching TV. Jon said he likes watching TV. H said he likes sports. Howard said that's on TV. Jon said he works the other job in the afternoon. He said he will watch some things before going to bed. He said he will watch a lot of TV over the weekend.
Howard asked if Jon knew every show that won on the golden Globes. Jon said he has seen most of them. He said he didn't see them all. Robin asked if TV shows take precedence over movies. Jon said he has seen a lot of TV shows.
Howard asked Jon when he gets up on the weekend. Jon said he's up by 7 or 8. He said he'll start watching TV around 11 or noon. Robin asked if he has rituals. Jon said he has some. He said he'll watch some football and then dinner comes around and he watches more TV. He said his wife might go do something else.
Howard asked if there's a classic show that he has never seen. Jon said he's sure there is but he's not sure what. The caller asked if he watched Alf. Jon said he did. He said that Gary and Robin watch a lot too. Howard asked if Jon does anything while he watches TV. Jon said he was doing the elliptical for awhile but it was too distracting so he stopped. He said he likes critiquing stuff. He said there's so much good stuff out there. He said the Kominsky Method is good. He said Patriot is good. He said he loved Escape at Dannemora too. He said The Good Fight is good on CBS All Access. He said it's tough to keep up with it all.
Howard thanked Jon for that. Jon said he does have two kids and he does other stuff than watching TV. Robin said imagine what Jon's screen time is. Howard said Apple called and said they think he's dead. They played a song parody about Jon after that.
Howard said they do a secret Santa thing there and someone got Jon a Debbie Gibson video. He said She was working her ass off for that. He had the audio to play. Jon said he loved it. Howard asked if She doesn't have enough money. Jon said it's pretty great. He said She went all in on this. Howard said She didn't know Jon was part of this show. He said this is on a service and they probably get 50 percent. Gary said if 1000 people asked her to do it then She made maybe 2500. He said She could get 10 grand doing a private concert. Shuli said he thinks that High Pitch Erik gets more than her. Howard had to correct Gary on his math. He said that it would be 25 grand.
Howard played the clip of Debbie talking to Jon and saying this is from Nik. She performed a couple of songs for him. Howard said High Pitch Erik gets $75 for a message. He said Caitlyn Jenner charges 1000. He said at least Debbie does two songs for you.
Howard asked if Jon is a big Debbie Gibson fan. Jon said he is now. He said She went all in on this. He said he remembers her old songs from back in the day. Jon said it was a perfect Secret Santa gift from Nik. He said that the limit was 50 bucks. Howard said he would have gotten High Pitch Erik but it was too much.
Howard asked if he should get into the year in review or should he take a break. Fred said they should take a break because once he's in it, he's in it. Howard went to break after making fun of Fred for that comment.
Howard said it's time for the year in review. He said all this week they'll be doing this. He said he'll be highlighting the best moments of the year. He said they have many ''best of'' moments of the year coming up.
Howard said joining them today is JD Harmeyer, Sal Governale, Shuli Egar, Ronnie the Limo Driver and Gary Dell'Abate. Howard said he's going to do Best Phony Phone Call. He said he thought the Goat Boy call was the best but it didn't even make the first bracket. He had that call to play. He said he'll play just some of it to give you an idea of what it is. Howard said every December they ask people to vote on the calls. Howard asked if Robin voted. Robin said She did not.
Howard said he thought that Jim Breuer should have won as Goat Boy. He said that was such a great call. He said he lost to the Tony Governale call. That's where Sal's dad talked to a fake Tony Governale on the phone. Howard played some of that call.
Howard said that beat out Goat Boy. He said that it got 59 percent of the vote. He said his pick was knocked out right away. He said he did vote. He said they're all good but they have to pick the best one. Howard said that call went up against a call to the Kathy show.
Gary asked if Sal got into trouble with that call. Sal said he had to buy him some lottery tickets and he was fine. He said he has to see his parents on the weekends or his mom will get upset. He said he tries to go see them every weekend to see them. He said that his father was sitting down and his feet slipped because he won't throw out his lottery tickets. He said he saves them all. Gary asked if he goes back looking for winners. Sal said he doesn't know. He said he even saves the ones he pencils in. He said that he won't throw them away either.
Howard asked if he ever asks his dad why he saves them. Sal said he thinks that there could be a winner in there. Howard said he should put them in a box. Sal said he puts them under the couch and in the coffee table. Howard asked if it looks like an insane asylum. Sal said his mom tries to hide them all. Sal said his mom stays with his dad no matter what. He said She won at a casino recently and his father took the winnings away from her. He said he had one wife before his mom and he had some girlfriends so he has 5 siblings that he knows about. He said he knows one who is a half brother from his first wife. He said he's not a Governale. He said that She changed his name to her maiden name.
Howard asked about the other kids. Sal said they're all over the place. Gary said if there are 5 he knows about there are probably 10. Sal said they found out recently that 2 people were born around the same time as his real sisters. He said his mom is really forgiving. Howard asked why that is. Sal said he thinks that She was scared in the beginning. He said that her whole job was the kids and She focused on that. Howard said no wonder he's all fucked up. Sal said oh yeah. Howard said now he doesn't fault him for being into that peeing on people since he was pissed on his whole life.
Howard asked why he goes to see his dad every weekend. Sal said he has forgiven him. He said he's getting older now. Robin said that you hold on to that stuff and you never express it and you hurt the people around you. Howard said that's why his mother is so delightful. Sal said one time his mom accused him of cheating and he sold her car to get back at her.
Howard said Sal's sister took a DNA test and they found other Governale's around the country. Robin said DNA is very close and when they look through the bank of tests they can pull out people who are closely related. Howard said other siblings must have taken the tests too. Robin said maybe they didn't know who their father was. Sal said they came up as first cousins. He said they know all of them so they knew that they were step sisters and brothers. Howard said his dad was all over the place. Howard said his dad isn't Fabio. Sal said he lived like a playboy though. He said he was traveling all over the place and he was successful with the restaurants. Howard asked how many pizzas you have to sell to be successful. Sal said his dad had all kinds of clothes in his trunk. He said he would come home at 11 at night and he'd see his dad out in the driveway changing to go get paper towels. He said he'd come home at 6 the next morning. He said sometimes there would be a couple of buddies sleeping in the living room.
Howard said he thinks his dad would be a great interview. He did an impression of his dad talking about going to get whores down in Atlantic City and stuff. Sal said that one Valentine's day his mom called the pizzeria and his dad picked up dialed and thought he was talking to someone else. He asked her if She got the flowers. He said he hung up when he realized it was his mother calling and that his call didn't go out.
Howard said Sal's dad had a son who wasn't allowed to visit but the kid did visit. Howard said he didn't know his dad. Sal said the kid took one look and split. Shuli asked if he would come there for 20 lottery tickets. Sal said he doesn't know. Howard said one of his siblings killed himself. Sal said he did. He said that kid's mother was pregnant while his parents were marrying. Robin asked if his first wife was a legitimate marriage. Sal said it was. Howard said his father makes for great phony phone calls. He said they're not getting very far with the Year In Review. Sal said he does love his father. He said things will be going good and then he'll say something that's fucked up. He said his father once told his son that if anyone did anything wrong that he'd kill them for him. He said that this is what his son came home and told him. He said that's not the way things work.
Howard said things aren't going so well in Sal's life. Howard asked if he thinks his dad still has women on the side. Sal said he's not sure about that. He said he's 77 now. He said his dad still dyes his hair. He said there's dye and a solvent in the mix. He said his dad doesn't mix the solvent in it. He said his hair will go from grey to jet black. He said he buys the kits and saves the boxes to return. He said he asked his sister to return them for him. He said his sister went down to return them and the person there finds they were opened and the dye was gone. He said She almost had a heart attack. He said his dad still does this shit to them.
Gary asked if his father asks him for money. Sal said he learned to tell him he doesn't have any and he's doing horribly at work. He said he learned that from his uncle who told him to say that.
Howard took a call from fake Tony Governale. He was dying his hair while he was on the line. He said he owes $19 million in child support. Howard said he should throw out the old lottery tickets. Fake Tony said no way there might be a winner in there.
Howard took a call from a woman who said they don't need the Wack Pack because all of the employees have a story. Howard said they all have a story and they all have their shit. The caller said thank god for Robin. She said Howard is the leader of that fucked up pack. Howard said you'll find him jumping out a window any day now.
Robin said She was thinking about how she, Fred and Howard found each there and they have really messed up lives. Howard said Fred's life is the most messed up. He said he has a sister that he doesn't know. Fred said that's right. He said that She hasn't done anything to him so there's no reason to find her. Howard said he has had conversations with Fred in the past and he never went back to those stories. Fred said it's not a good plan. Howard said that stuff is so dark he's just leaving it alone. Fred said that's a good idea.
Howard said he and Fred had one night where they talked about that stuff. He said he realized he opened the box. JD said Pandora's box but Howard said that's the Fred box and it's even worse. Howard asked if Fred would ever meet his half sister. Fred said maybe at his father's funeral. He said that he's heard that the wife of his father has kept everyone away from him. He said there's no way he's getting in there. He said he's in his 90s now. He said that he's not going to get in there.
Howard asked if his dad has reached out to him at all. Fred said not since 1975. He said that his brother was getting married and his dad was there and he had to keep him entertained for a half hour. He said it was a long time ago. He said he remembers him coming up the mountain in New Hampshire and then walking away. Howard asked Fred how old he was back then. Fred said he was 20 something. Howard asked if there's any resemblance. Fred said he thinks he looks like his mom.
Howard said he was trying to do the best phony phone call of 2018 and they got caught up in talking to Fred. Howard said they had Sal's dad calling Sal's dad. He said they had Robin calling the Kathy show next. He played some of that call where Chris Wilding called the Kathy show and played some song parodies about Robin as love songs he had written for her.
Howard asked if Ronnie voted. Ronnie said no. Howard said he sure seemed to love that one. He said he should have voted. Howard said these are the final 4 for the best of 2018. He said that they had Tan Mom and Wendy Thanksgiving next. He played some of that call where they had Wendy and Tan Mom talking about Thanksgiving. Tan Mom was telling her not to eat food out of the dumpster. She told her to call 911 after eating raw meat out of a dumpster.
Howard said rounding out the top four and winning the whole thing was Flirty Gary. He said that it was Wendy and Tan Mom who were up against each other. Howard played the Flirty Gary phony phone call where they had Gary talking to a 83 year old woman and flirting with her with lame pick up lines.
Howard said She has to be desperate to want to meet that guy. He said She even turned down Sal's dad Tony. Howard said that call really holds up. Howard said Flirty Gary won in 2016 and 2018. Gary said they're working on a new one too. Howard said he voted for Goat Boy. He said you were only allowed to vote once. Robin said he should have voted on the second round. Howard said he didn't know the rules.
Howard played the Goat Boy call again. He laughed through the call. Robin was laughing too. Howard said that should have been a finalist against Flirty Gary. He said people don't know how to vote. Howard said how dare they turn down a professional like Jim Breuer. Howard said he has to take another break before continuing the Year in Review. They went to break a short time later.
Sal said he went to therapy and he left because the person said that his dad doesn't love him. He said that he left and the therapist said he would work on him for free. Howard and Robin asked Sal about what happened there and Sal said he thinks he relates to his father because he knows how his grandfather raised him. Howard said there was some picture of Sal with his eye looking really strange. Sal said he thought he got bit by a bug one morning recently. He said he ran to the mirror to check it out. He said he showed his wife and She said he could go to work like that. Howard said he heard the doctor told him it's from getting fecal matter in your eye. Sal said that's it. Gary said he heard he didn't wash his hands. Sal said he does wash his hands. He said that the doctor told him the fecal matter thing and he said ''wow!'' so the doctor asked if he could have rubbed his eye. Sal said he may have rubbed his eye in the middle of taking a crap.
Howard said Sal wipes by folding shit paper in half. He said he probably got shit in his eye. Sal said he was told by the doctor to sing the ABC's while he's washing his hands. He said he had to do it along with the guy. He said he has to soap up his hands for the whole alphabet.
Ronnie said Sal will come out of the bathroom and he'll rub his hand on your back after. Sal said he's cleaning his hands on all of these dirt bags.
Howard took a call from a doctor who said that this periorbital cellulitis that Sal has is something you can get from a sinus infection but it can also be from the fecal matter thing. Howard said just wipe with paper and throw it in the toilet instead of folding it. He said that it's pretty funny that he had to be taught how to wash his hands.
Howard thanked the doctor for calling in. Sal said he sang the ABCs this morning when he was washing his hands. Gary said how about just counting to 20. Sal said he's always clean with his hands. He told Gary to smell them. Howard said he should smell his eye.
Howard asked how long it took for his eye to go down. Sal said it was within 24 hours. He said it was a mess. He said it was gross. Jason said they'll have it up on @SternShow on Twitter soon. Howard said they want to thank his pediatrician Dr. Kaplan for helping Sal.
Howard made a call to the celebrity version of Uber. He was doing his operator voice talking about people who were available like Pete Best and Jackie Martling. He asked for no Jackie though. Howard said he had Balki and Leif Garrett. Howard said maybe Brendan Fraser. Robin said he's still working in movies and TV. Howard said how about Tila Tequila. He said She has a 4.7 star rating. Robin asked about Amy Fisher. Howard said they have Maryanne from Gilligan's Island. Howard threw out a bunch of other names like DMX and Uncle Jesse from Full House. Howard said Memet from the Howard Stern Show is there too. Robin said they shouldn't be job shaming anyone. Howard said he's not. He said that he's just thinking about what happened to Brian and how he could have made a ton of money if he hadn't walked away from American Idol.
Howard said they're going through 2018 and it's time for Year in Review. They had another theme song to play for that.
Howard said this is the most talked about moment in 2018. He said that these get more reactions than anything else. He said these moments were trending on social media. He had JD there to present the first one. JD said it was Ronnie's 69th birthday and they had him in the dildo throne. He said they had Sal, Shuli, Nikki Glaser, Lisa Lampanelli and all of that going on. He had a montage of jokes from the roast for Howard to play.
Sal was up next with the Wack Pack Feud. He said a highlight was medicated Pete talking about walking around the gym naked to show off his penis. Howard played a clip of Pete talking about that.
Howard asked Shuli what he has. Shuli said they launched video for the app last year. He had a montage of bad ideas that Sal and Richard pitched for the app.
Howard said he liked all of those ideas actually. He asked if Sal would really do that stuff. Sal said he would. Gary said they're working on the vibrating egg in their ass thing. Howard asked if that would really affect how they sing. Ronnie said he doesn't think so. Howard asked if Ronnie has had one of those things up his ass. Ronnie said he had that thing with the handle up there. He said it looks like eggs going in. He said they get bigger and bigger as they go in. He said he thinks he got 3 in. Shuli said good job buddy. Ronnie said there are 5 of them on the thing. He said he was trying out a new product.
Howard asked Jason what's up. Jason had one of the eggs there. Howard said it's huge. Jason said they were looking to get eggs for this thing but they say they can get lost in the ass. He said they were looking for something with a handle on it. Gary asked if Sal is really going to put that up his ass. Sal said they'll talk about it.
Howard asked Ronnie what he has for the year in review. Ronnie said that Richard is always looking to do weird shit for the show. He said something went on with Benjy getting a dick in his face and Richard made in and slapped him with his dick and Benjy grabbed it and held on to it. Howard said that was a weird moment on the show. Howard played the clip where that happened. JD said he hasn't seen Benjy laugh so hard.
Howard said he skipped over something. Shuli said that they had the diaper contest and Richard had an accident. Howard played the clip where Richard announced he shit himself during the pee your diaper contest. Gary took a look in the diaper and almost threw up.
Howard said there's quite a review of things. He said Benjy played the clip for his therapist and he thinks there's something wrong with Richard. Robin said there is something wrong with him. Howard said he doesn't bring in clips of the show for his therapy session. Benjy came in and said he has his therapy on the phone and he played the clip for her. He said She was wondering if Richard was okay. Benjy said he thought She was worried about him and not Richard. He said that She may have thought he molested Richard.
Howard said Gary has something to present. Gary said this was the IQ test with Memet and Brent. He said they had that IQ test and they found out Memet scored higher than Brent. Howard played a clip which was a montage of Memet and Brent insulting each other.
Howard asked if Robin remembers that from 2018. Ronnie laughed. Gary said they have the clip of the results. Howard played another clip where he told Memet he's got a 121 IQ and he beat Brent.
Howard had another clip of Memet talking about how great it was that he won that test over Brent. He was going off on a lot of people there who thought he wasn't going to beat Brent.
Howard played a clip of Memet crying over insulting Howard. Gary said he also apologized to Robin. Howard played another clip of that.
Howard said that was some 2018 moment. Robin said he retracted all of his statements. Gary said he apologized to 4 people there. Howard played another Year in Review theme song.
Howard said this first mistake was when they had two men sit in on the news. He said they had donated to North Shore Animal League and they won the right to sit in. He said Gary handed him a note to identify them. He said he told him that David was the guy with curly hair. They both had curly hair. Howard played a clip of Gary trying to explain himself.
Howard asked Sarah how she's defending that. Sarah said that Gary has hair blindness and it's a real thing. She said that it's caused by eating fake crab and horrific things like that.
Howard said Gary once said the N-word on the Wrap Up Show. Howard played the clip and Gary said ''huge name dropper'' but it came out sounding like the N-word. Howard asked Sarah to defend that. Sarah said that it's a wonder Gary doesn't say that every day. Gary said he was trying to say name dropper. He said that it wasn't the N-word.
Howard said the biggest screw up was the Cobra Kai incident. He said this still pisses him off. He said Gary got a copy of this show and he didn't tell him about it. He said that Robin brought it up in the news and he found out Gary had a copy. Howard played a clip from that day when Gary told him about getting the show and not giving it to him.
Howard said that they wanted him to see it, not Gary. Gary said they sent it to them because the guy was on the Wrap Up Show. Gary said they didn't know if Howard would like it. Howard said he should have asked him. He asked Sarah to defend that. Sarah said that Gary is like a food tester. She said that he's testing the TV shows out for him. She said it's an avalanche of perks and Gary is the snow plow clearing it away for him.
Howard said the final fuck up of the year is making him crazy. He said this isn't a good idea because this is making him crazy. Howard said he told Robin that he worked for WWWW and they were the worst call letters for a station. He said Gary came out of nowhere and told him that KOME had shitty call letters. He said he just erupted. He said those were the greatest call letters of all time. He said it was cum radio. Howard played a clip from that day.
Howard asked Sarah to defend that. She said She can't but She thinks that Gary is into things like Vinyl before it was even cool and it's still not cool and he still likes it. Sarah left a short time later.
Howard said when She defends Trump she's something else. Ronnie said it makes her hot. He said it's sexy. Ronnie said he would fuck her in the ass and she'd love it. He said she's a sexy chick. Howard said he doesn't see that. Ronnie said they way She talks is something. Gary asked if he likes to be dominated. Ronnie said he doesn't dig that shit.
Howard said in 2017 he was accepting his best hair award and he asked Gary where his previous awards were. He played a clip from that day where Gary said they're all to the right of him in his trophy case... which was gone because they had changed the studio.
Howard said he said they were in some storage unit but they were probably in the garbage. Howard said Gary clearly didn't know they had renovated the studio. Gary said he did know.
Howard said he doesn't want to review all of Gary's fuck ups or they'll be there until 2020. Gary said he has as many fuck ups as Sal's dad has kids.
Gary asked if Ronnie is serious about the Sarah Sanders thing. Ronnie said he thinks she'd be a fucking maniac in bed. Sal said he knows where he's going with that and he's right. He said he thinks that chick is up for anything. JD said he's really religious though. Ronnie said his first girlfriend was really religious too but She was no angel. He said he had sex with her at 13.
Howard asked if he really lost it to that girl in her ass. Ronnie said he did. He said that She was great. He said She went to an all girl catholic school. He said every afternoon they were having sex. They asked if he just ended up back there. Ronnie said he did. Fred did his Ronnie voice saying ''Look where I am!''
Ronnie said he was at his house and his grandmother showed up while this girl was there. She had some to visit and he brought his grandmother up to watch TV and he put her in his parent's room and snuck the girl out. He had no pay off so the guys were all goofing on him for not having a story there.
Howard and the guys were goofing on Ronnie about the story and talking about how he had anal at 13. Ronnie said they did everything. He said they didn't have rubbers or anything. He said She moved away. He said they hooked up after that. He said later on he did her in the vagine when they were 16 or 17. Shuli asked if this was the girl he hooked up with when he and his buddy were swapping. Ronnie said this wasn't the same girl.
Howard asked what lube he used to get in that ass. Ronnie said it was natural juices. Howard said maybe it was her vaginal juices. Ronnie said this girl was on fire. Howard said he must have fingered her. Ronnie said there was a lot of that going on. He said She was a great girlfriend.
Howard asked who was president during this. Ronnie said he remembers Lindsay was Mayor. He didn't remember who the president was.
Howard said how about that old lady that gummed him off. He sake if he did anal with her. Ronnie said no.
Howard asked Sal what he would do to Sarah Sanders. Sal said you can tell She wants to be pounded. Sal said he wouldn't want her after Ronnie did her. Ronnie said she's very sexy with the defending of Trump. Howard said Ronnie would bend her over. Ronnie said it would be an all day affair. Howard asked if they think a lot of guys are into her. Sal and Ronnie said they think so. Ronnie said you can tell She wants to blow you. Gary asked where he's getting this. Ronnie said it's just the fantasy. Howard said he doesn't get it.
Howard said he wishes he could get her on the show and have Ronnie explain it to her. Gary wondered if it gets back to her in any way. Howard had to tell Ronnie that Mike Huckabee is her dad and not her husband. Ronnie said that he's lucky because he's fucking her. Howard said that's her dad and he isn't fucking her.
Howard asked if Ronnie would fuck Hillary Clinton. Ronnie said no. He said she's too stiff. He said that She does nothing for him.
Shuli said that this Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would turn Ronnie on. Ronnie wasn't into her. He said he's thinking that this Sarah Sanders is a wild one. Howard said how about Kellyanne Conway. Ronnie said she's hot. He said she's real sexy. Shuli asked what's sexy about her. Ronnie said he thinks she's sexy. He said she's another one who looks like a wild woman. Gary said he thinks that Ronnie likes women that he'd argue with. Ronnie said that's not it at all. Gary asked about Nancy Pelosi. Ronnie said no way. Howard said how about Nikki Haley. Ronnie said she's alright. He was only going for republicans. He said he likes that Sarah Palin too.
Howard asked about Judge Janine. Ronnie said She had some show on Playboy. Howard said he's not sure about that. Ronnie may have had her confused with someone else.
Howard said they have more to come on Year in Review this week. He said they have the best impressions, Wack Pack Review and more. He said they're going to take a break and get to some news. Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't answering so he hung up and went to break.
Howard came back and said that's his boy Joe Walsh. He said what a man. He said he likes his career. He did the solo thing and then he has the Eagles. He wondered what he's worth. Robin said he may have let a lot of money slip through his fingers. Howard said that's a power riff. Fred said according to Celebrity Net Worth he's worth $75 million. Howard said he believes it. Howard said he loves Joe. He said it was so good seeing him when he came in with Ringo.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to keep Fred Ronnie on because he had him cracking up. Howard said he told Fred he did well with that as he was going to the bathroom. Fred said he knows the fun is going to ensue when he sees Ronnie. The caller said he dropped to his knees laughing so hard to that impression.
Howard said he should mention that the guy who owned WCCC up in Hartford, Connecticut has passed away. He said his name was Sy Dresner and he died a few days ago. He said he was reading his obituary and they were saying he gave him his first job but that's not right. He said he did get hired there and he worked for Sy. He said Sy was an engineer who bought the station. He said Sy once got on the air when someone didn't show up to work and said he's going to listen to ''Mr. Led Zeppelin.'' Howard said he went to him for a raise once and he didn't give it to him so he went to Detroit. He said he loved Sy and didn't hate him like people thought. He said he loved Sy because he gave him a job and let him work there. He said he kind of gets it why he didn't give him the raise.
Howard said he liked Sy and he was one of those old radio guys. He said he owned his own radio station. He said he liked the guy. He said he was eccentric and all he wanted to know was the meter readings. He said he didn't want to get in trouble with the FCC.
Howard said he thinks the guy looked like Richard Nixon a bit. He said he looks back thinking about Sy and how he hired him and he kept that station going even after he left. He said that he scared him too. He said he kept the rules going over there. He said the sales guy was Milt. He said the Program Director was Bill. He said Bill was the one reviewing their ratings. He said he was getting paid 250 a week back then.
Howard said he saw that his son's name was Steve. He said he didn't know them all that well. Fred said he was 89 years old. Howard said his name was Saul Sy Dresner. Howard said he called into the show back in 1997 after selling WCCC. He said that he isn't sure where he is now but he's probably doing meter readings with Jesus.
Howard read some of the article he had about Sy. They mentioned Howard in the article and how he had left after being denied a $25 a week raise. Howard said he went to Detroit after that and he'd call Fred asking him to do voices for him out there. He said he always appreciated him for doing that. He said when he met Robin he told her that he had to hire Fred. Fred said the first thing he told him on the phone was that She had really big tits. Howard said he would never do that. He said that's not funny.
Howard said Sy talked about him in a 1993 interview and said he did it all himself and didn't need to give credit to anyone else. Howard said what a nice guy. He sold WCCC in 1998. He said he settled in Boca Raton. Howard said he leaves behind his wife Edith. Howard asked if they ever met her. Fred said he met one of the sons but not her.
Howard said he sucked on radio back then. He said he was surprised they hired him. He asked if Fred was surprised. Fred said he was decent and he was always striving to be better. He said that he was more ambitious than anyone else. Howard said he was bad. Robin said you can't get better if you don't know you're bad.
Howard said the funeral is today but he won't be going. He said he won't even go to Fred's funeral.
Howard said he was upset that Sacha Baron Cohen didn't win for his Showtime show. He said he was robbed at the Golden Globes. Robin asked if he saw the other comedies that were nominated. Howard said no but he did think Sacha should have won. Robin said the Kominsky Method was one of them. Howard said he got to meet Michael Douglas a couple of months back and he was very nice.
Robin read a story about how Ellen Degeneres is defending Kevin Hart after he bowed out of hosting the Oscars for some old Tweets. Robin had some audio of Ellen talking about the haters out there and how you don't have to pay attention to them. Howard said he liked her stand up special on Netflix. He said it was really good. Robin said She hasn't gotten to that yet.
Robin read a story about Kevin Spacey going to court today in Massachusetts. Robin said he's accused of groping a bus boy in 2016. Robin had some audio of the mother of the boy talking about how Kevin bought him drink after drink and then allegedly assaulted him.
Robin read a story about Daryl Dragon from Captain & Tennille passing away. Robin had Howard play one of their songs. Howard said he's pretty sure he played that at WNBC. He said how cool would it have been if he had that last name. He said he has a dragon tattoo. He said he covered it up with his birth sign and he's not even into astrology. He said it was an idiotic move. He said the thing looks like a retarded dragon now. He hates it. He said he wishes he could put something more traditional on his arm.
Howard said he kept his last name thinking that girls who turned him down would be jealous once he got famous. He said he wants to tell these women that they were wrong for turning him down. He said he still looks for one girl every week on Facebook. He said he just wants to tell them they were wrong. He said he would like to find the one from Princeton. He said he can't find her. Robin said she's hiding.
Robin read about Daryl Dragon dying and told Howard how he met Tennille. He said She was so in love with him that She wrote these songs for him. She didn't know how to tell him that She was in love with him. Robin said they rushed into marriage because they had signed a record deal as a married couple. Robin said Tennille says that in their long marriage he never showed any physical attraction to her. Robin had some more details about their crazy life together.
Robin read a story about Penny Marshall and her death. Robin said they say that She was working on the day She died. Robin said She was working on a Dennis Rodman documentary. Robin said She and Dennis were friends. She said this guy was trying to do a documentary on Dennis and Penny stepped in and took it over. She said She was a big basketball fan and Dennis became her friend. Robin said they were working on the documentary since 2012. She said that Penny wanted people to know the real Dennis Rodman. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said she's been thinking about Macaulay Culkin lately. She said She watched Home Alone over the holidays and She thought he was the perfect little boy for those roles. Robin wondered how he feels now that he's 39 years old. Robin said he's sitting at home asking for work on social media and his brother is nominated for a Golden Globe. Howard said maybe he can work for his celebrity Uber that he's coming up with. Robin said he wants to work. Howard said he dated Mila Kunis for several years. Robin said She knows that.
Robin brought up Christian Bale who thanked Satan for the inspiration to play Dick Cheney in the Vice movie. Robin said he did play dick Cheney. She said Howard thought he played Bush. Robin said Liz Cheney wasn't happy about what Bale said last night. Robin said she's upset about the comment. Gary told Howard that Sam Rockwell played George Bush in that movie.
Robin read a story about the president of CBS news, David Rhodes, stepping down. Robin said he will be replaced by Susan Zirinsky. Howard said if he ran CBS he'd take all of the news off. He said there are dedicated news channels out there. He said he'd leave it up to them. He said he hates it when they break in with news on the networks. He said he just wants to watch TV. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the government shutdown that has been going on 17 days. Robin said it's the third longest shutdown in history. Robin said the TSA workers are affected by this. She said they have a number of people calling in sick so the people who do show up have to work extra shifts. Robin said that the union boss says he's not surprised by that. Robin said Sarah Huckabee Sanders says Trump is not bluffing when he says he's going to keep it shut down for months or years to get what he wants. She had some audio of Sanders talking about that. Robin said the acting Chief of Staff says that Trump is not calling for a concrete wall. She had some audio of him talking about that.
Robin read a story about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez being on 60 Minutes last night talking about how Trump is racist. Robin had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about two children dying in the detention centers for the border. Robin said they are saying they have to make sure they are taken care of now. Howard said the irony is that the shutdown is keeping them from trying cases for the people who are coming in at the border.
Robin read a story about Pete Davidson being seen leaving a party with Kate Beckinsale last night. Robin said that they were flirting with each other all evening from what the reports say.
Robin read a story about Ruth Bader Ginsburg whose job is apparently to just stay alive for 2 more years at least. Robin said that She has had some operations and cancer recently. Robin said she's missing supreme court arguments for the first time.
Robin read a story about how Aquaman was number 1 at the box office. Howard said he has to see that in his house. Robin said coming in second was ''Escape Room'' and in third was Mary Poppins. Howard said he saw Dick Van Dyke being interviewed about that movie and he's 93 and he still has all his marbles. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started the show taking a call from an 11 year old girl whose dad put her on. Howard asked if her dad put her up to it. She said yes. She said She listens in the car with her dad. She said She thinks the show is funny. Robin asked who her favorite is. She said Sal. Howard said that makes sense. He asked what's great about Sal. She said she's smarter than him. Howard said Samantha is making a lot of sense. Howard asked what grade she's in. She's in 5th. Howard said he feels like Johnny Carson back in the old days talking to the kids.
Samantha said that her dad went to medical school with his father in law in Pittsburgh. Howard said very nice. He said he feels like he's talking to her dad. Howard asked if she's a fan of trump or is She against him. She said she's against him. She said she's against building the wall. She said it doesn't make sense.
Howard said they do say that the bad people aren't coming in on the southern border. Robin said he's agreeing with her so there's no need to keep that conversation going.
Howard asked Samantha if she's into boys yet. She said they're gross. Howard said from about 9 to 11 you can do no wrong with them. Robin said Howard said to her that 7 was the best age. Howard said around 12 they realize he's not all he's cracked up to be.
Samantha's dad said that he used to listen to him on WCCC. Howard said just put him on the phone. He got on for a second but Howard had him put Samantha back on.
Howard asked what Samantha likes, farts or burp sounds. She said they're both disgusting. Howard asked if She has heard people make fart sounds with their arm pit. She said her dad does that. Howard said he appreciates her as a listener. Robin asked if She knows the name game. Howard asked if She would like him to do it with her. The dad was coaching her. Howard said he has to go. He said She must have to get to school.
Howard let Samantha go. He said her dad is ruining it by coaching her every answer. He said he hates parents who do that. He said that he'll ask a kid a question and the kid answers for them. He said the kid can answer and they're answering for them. He said they can't let their kid be people.
Howard said that guy is controlling. He said he can't even do the name game with Samantha. He said he was getting ready to do that with her. He said he has to do it with Robin instead. He sang the name game with Robin. Then he did some with Samantha and Fred.
Howard started over and did Samantha and then tried it with Mister Mxyzptlk. He said that one is too hard. He said that would have been a fun segment.
Howard took a call from a guy named Anthony who asked him to do the name game with him but he was acting a little slow.
Howard asked if he studied cave paintings. Robin said he was like an animal in the forest. She said he was doing things and he just knew. Howard said everything about him is backward. He said he's just bizarre. He said his sexuality is weird. He said he may have invented anal.
Robin said She asked him if that's where he ended up or was he headed that way. He said that's just where he ended up. Howard said that was a long time ago and they didn't know about doing anal. Robin said he didn't know he was going to do that, it just ended up in there. Robin said he may not have known he wants in the vagina.
Howard said the whole thing is just fucked up. He said he's going to have to talk to him about it later today.
Howard took a call from Apples who said he was talking about hot women who have grown less than hot. He asked what he thinks about Sandra Bullock. Howard said She looks fantastic. He said he rushed home to watch Bird Box. He said he saw that 43 million people had seen it so he had to see it. Howard said she's 53 and She looks good. Robin said She didn't know She was that old. Howard asked if Apples thinks she's hot. Apples said her body is good. He said he saw Oceans 8 and her face looked like She was wearing a mask. Howard said he thinks She looks terrific. Gary said she's actually 54 and a half. Howard said no one looks better than her at that age.
Howard said it sounds like Apples isn't high on her but he thinks She looks good. Apples said that Lindsay Lohan was on Fallon last night and She looks like she's wearing a mask. Howard said she'll be in there tomorrow actually. Apple said people are going too far with the plastic surgery. Howard said he thinks no matter how old you get Apples won't be happy with how you look. Howard said he wants to see who Apples is banging. He said he's probably married to his car. He said Lindsay Lohan will be in tomorrow and one of his favorite movies is Mean Girls. He said they called the mean girls ''The plastics.'' Robin said She has to go back and watch that today. Howard said he liked The Parent Trap too.
Howard said he had to watch Bird Box. He said Beth had to walk out. He said She told him to tell her what happens. He said She was upset by it. He said She doesn't like things with little kids in danger. Howard said She doesn't like to be on the edge of her seat.
Howard said he watched the rest of the movie himself and he liked it. He said he went from not liking it to liking it. He said he wasn't afraid though. He said he's fearless in these movies. He said he was watching it and evaluating Sandra Bullock. He said he looked up her age and found out she's 54. He said watching the movie was like homework. He said he had to watch it because people are all seeing it. He said he was ''working'' by watching it.
Howard said he told his kids he was working all afternoon and that was his homework. He said you feel like you have to watch it. He said he was researching it and tried to figure out who ripped off who between ''A Quiet Place'' and ''Bird Box.'' He said they said the Bird Box book was out before John Krasinski's movie.
Howard said he had to do an apology the next Monday after that. Howard said this happened on a Friday and he apologized on a Monday morning. They had another reporter making the apology. They were very sorry that this got out on their airwaves.
Howard asked what's going on there. Robin said She wants to know what kind of investigation is going to go on. Howard said just listen to the tape. He said that they'll probably ask if he meant to say it and he'll say no.
Howard played another clip of a news anchor making the apology again. It was the same statement that he other reporter read. Howard said when you work up there and hear the General Manager is investigating you think he has some authority. He said they know what these guys are like and they don't know any more than you do.
Howard played more of the statement and said it would have been great if he had slipped up and said the Martin Luther Coon thing too. Howard said they're investigating the incident. Robin asked if they have come to any conclusions. JD said it's done.
Howard said this is the General Manager talking about what happened. The guy, Richard Reingold, got on and explained what their investigation found. Howard made up his own results before finishing the clip. Howard said once they did an investigation when someone shit on the floor of the bathroom. Robin said they had video and everything. Howard said what an investigation. He said the guy just said it and that's it. He said the investigation is over.
Howard said he wants to investigate the investigation. Howard played the clip and the General Manager said that they have fired the meteorologist for that incident. He said they are doubling their efforts to make sure that never happens again.
Robin asked why Martin Luther King was even mentioned. JD said it was the name of a park that they were looking at. Howard played the clip again so they could hear how it came up.
Robin said the weather man is the jolly comic relief to the news. She said She feels bad for the guy. Robin said he didn't even have a script. Howard said they burned his pointer.
Howard said Jeremy has issued an apology on Facebook. He played that clip and Jeremy said that he didn't mean to say what he said. He said it was misinterpreted. He said Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the greatest leaders of all time.
Howard said there have been others who have done that and survived. Howard said JD played him some examples. Gary said the guy who did it had a national sports show and he wasn't fired. Howard asked if someone could slip up and not be thinking of racial epithets. Robin asked where this guy can work now. Howard said with Harvey Weinstein maybe. He said he thinks he's done. Howard said you can't go to a smaller market than Rochester. He said they don't even have a weather position in Plattsburgh. He had the guy trying to get a job up there and made up the conversation.
Howard said these days if you slip up you're going to get fired. He said he should have done Sal's racial apology. He said he would have been okay. Robin said he was just trying to get his weather report done. She said if he had stopped and apologized at the time he may have been okay. She said brushing over it may have offended people. Howard said that's it for that guy. Robin said they're going to say he mispronounced Martin Luther King's name. Howard and Robin made up what the interviews will be like after that screw up.
Howard said she's twice the man he is. Howard asked if the guys get turned on by her. Brook said she's not a hog. Howard asked if She hangs out in a tank top. Brook said in Afghanistan she'd have to go out and get phone cards to people and she'd have to go out and She felt like She was on a buffet line at the Sizzler. She said it was really creepy. Brook said She just wanted to get the hell out of there.
Howard asked if She has shit in weird places out there in combat. She said She has shit in some ugly places. Howard asked if they have to burn their feces. Brook said they had to do that in Iraq. She said they don't have to do that anymore. She said they did that in Iraq though. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard said that's wild. He said she's a brave woman. He said She was in Afghanistan and Iraq. He said She was in Haiti too.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that tape of that man saying Martin Luther Coon sounded sincere. He said they shouldn't have fired him for that. He said that he probably didn't mean to say it so he shouldn't have been fired. He said you can tell when someone is lying about that. Howard said they have cut other guys slack. He said other guys have said that slur and they have gotten away with it. He said they still have their jobs. He said maybe you have to make enough money for the company to make it worth keeping you around.
Robin said maybe if he's never done it before then you have some sensitivity training or something. Howard said maybe have him in an on air trial. He said they could let the audience vote.
King said that goes along the lines of the R. Kelly thing. He said he thinks people are jealous of him for getting young girls. King said he has never been convicted of any crime. He said he was just with young girls. He said the whole black community is up in arms saying get rid of him. Howard said how about making him a weather man up in Rochester.
Howard took a call from a woman who said if you look at this in a linguistic way you can see how there is no way to mess it up. She said there is no way he would have said that. Howard said Gary said the N-word the other day on the air and he claims he didn't. Howard played the clip where Gary said what sounded like the N-word but it was actually ''name dropper.''
Howard said Gary does have huge lips and teeth. Gary said explain how the N-word would even fit into that. Howard said you tell him. Howard let the caller go and said imagine doing an investigation into that whole coon thing.
Howard said that Mel Gibson said to his wife that he hopes that She gets raped by a pack of N-words and he got nominated for an Oscar 2 years ago. He asked what that means.
Will came in and said for the Eagles to win over the weekend was amazing. Robin asked if it went in after bouncing would they have scored. Will said they would have. He said that one of the Eagles actually tipped the ball. Howard said this is good. He said Cody missed the goal and it shocked everyone. He had some audio of some Spanish announcers calling the play. He said that's pretty funny.
Howard said just listen to this guy. He said he gets laid he doesn't yell that much. Robin asked what he's carrying on about. Howard said he wishes his guys would get that fired up about working for him. He said that was intense. Howard said the guy was screaming and carrying on.
Howard said the game was in Chicago and this is what it sounds like when Cody walked off the field. It sounded like a huge swarm of bees. Howard said a lot of people film themselves watching the game. Will said they do. He said the guy kicked it and made it but the Eagles called a time out right before and that must have messed him up.
Howard played some clips of Bears fans screaming at the TV when they lost. Howard played the clip and this guy was screaming ''Fuck you!'' over and over.
Howard said he has another tape of someone calling Parkey names through the TV. Howard played that one and the guy was screaming at Parkey that he sucked and he's a piece of shit. Howard said he's actually a weather man in Rochester.
Howard said Cody isn't the best kicker out there. He said he has missed a few. Will said the ball was tipped so that makes it a little easier to excuse. He said this guy has to go back to the locker room after that.
Gary said they signed him to a 4 year $15 million contract and it's 9 million guaranteed. Howard said he has another clip of this guy screaming about what they're paying that guy. The guy was screaming about how he can't make a god damn kick for his god damn life. He was screaming like his life depended on that kick.
Howard said meanwhile the guys on the Bears aren't as mad as this guy was. Robin said they should be mad because that cost the team money. Howard said he has some audio of some Eagles fans making some noise about the game. He had a guy screaming ''No good! Oh my god!'' over and over.
Howard said they locked that guy up in a mental institution. Howard said that's why football is great. He said they all get together to see something that's not scripted.
Robin wondered what it sounded like in the Christy household. Howard said funny you say that. He said that Richard is a new Eagles fan. Will said he likes Richard but this is a kind of douchey move. Howard said this is Richard carrying on while carrying his 1 year old son. He played the clip of Richard saying ''No good!'' and carrying on like he's been a lifelong fan of the Eagles. Howard said the kid is like ''This is my father...'' Richard was calling him ''Bubby.'' Howard asked if that's because his dad calls him Bub. Will said probably.
Howard said this is Richard screaming in his kid's ear. Will said this was at 8 at night and he should have been in bed. Howard said the kid's name is Carson, not Bubby. Will said he's a moron. Howard said he really is. Howard said he'd trust a babysitter more than Richard. Howard asked where the wife was. Will said She was probably out at a bar. She wanted to watch with other Eagles fans. Howard said he'd be pissed if She went out. Robin asked if you'd stay in with Richard. Will said they all sleep in the same room. Howard said they have one bedroom. Will said Richard said the baby had night terrors the other night. Howard said you're suppose to let them sleep on their own. Will said they have no choice in that apartment.
Howard said that's great that his wife went to the bar without Richard. Will said that kid is going to hate football.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to know if Richard is going to root for the Chiefs or Eagles it they go to the Super Bowl together. Howard did his Richard impression for a second. Richard came in and asked why he calls his son Bub. Richard said it's because his dad does that to him. Howard asked if his dad called him Bubby. Richard said he didn't. The caller said he should call him Scrub.
Howard asked who Richard was going to root for if they're both in the game. Richard said he would be for the Chiefs. He said that he isn't going to be able to watch the game with his wife if they're both in it. Howard asked about yelling in his son's ear. Richard said he was yelling at the TV and not in his son's ear.
Howard said he heard Richard has a rotting tooth in his mouth and he won't pay to fix it. Gary said there's something going on with his teeth. Richard said he had coffee. He said he had a dental thing yesterday. He said he's not sure what's going on with them. Richard said he just had some yogurt. Howard said he doesn't brush his teeth.
Richard said he had some root canals a few years ago. He said he had a bunch of cavities. He said two were root canals. He said they got infected recently. He said they want to do implants and their insurance doesn't cover it. He said he had to get fitted with his crown and he just about passed out when he heard what he has to pay. He said that he has to get another implant and he wants to let it just rot. He said it's close to 4 grand each out of pocket. Howard asked why the insurance doesn't cover it. Richard said that they consider it cosmetic.
Will said they all have to pay for the insurance so he's not sure why he has to pay for his teeth. He said he didn't take care of his teeth. Richard said he's paying for it because it's not covered. He said his parents had false teeth and that seemed much easier. Howard said just go to the fucking dentist. Richard said he is. He said he's trying to figure out some other way to fix this rotting problem. Howard said tie it to the door and yank it out like the Three Stooges. Will said his whole jaw might come off.
Howard said he has to take a break. Will and Richard were saying go Eagles and go Chiefs. Richard said he's rooting for the Eagles for his wife. He said that ending was crazy no matter who you root for. Howard said he has two douche bags on his staff. Howard kicked the two out of there after that. He said now they have an answer for the caller. The caller said he has a good babysitting service for Richard. He said CPS. Howard asked what that is. The guy said Child Protective Services. Howard laughed. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said they have a friend who went on and they said She looks like Snooki. He said She was upset about that. He said it was only a 21 percent match though. Howard said you only use the app like once. He said he took a picture of his cat and he didn't match anyone. Howard said you only end up using it once.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn and said he has to ask her something. He said She is such a superfan that he got a Christmas card from her. Robin said She got one too. Howard said the card is a tree and Mariann is sitting next to his poster holding a microphone. He said She has flat Ronnie behind her. He said She looks good. Mariann said it's the shirt that says ''Fuck Les Moonves.''
Howard said this is printed and it says Fuck Les Moonves, Hit 'em with the Hein,'' Baba Booey and more. Howard asked if She sends them out to everyone. Mariann said they go out to everyone who wants one. She said She sent one to Les Moonves at CBS. Howard said he's not there anymore. Howard asked if She has a normal card She sends out. Mariann said She does. She said that not everyone knows She adores Howard. She said She has other friends who don't know that. Howard said he had to find out about that.
Mariann said that Simon Cowell so wanted Howard's job. She said that he's milking that whole thing now. Howard said he doesn't like that he did that to him but why call in with that every time. Mariann said they have to spread the word. Howard said maybe it eats his heart out to hear about this stuff. Mariann asked if he doesn't want her to do it. Howard said no one even gave a shit when he left the show. Mariann said Karma is a bitch. She said something is going to go down. Howard said She doesn't care what he said. He hung up on her.
Howard took a call from Annmarie from Queens who was screaming like Mariann and saying She loves Mariann and hates Howard.
Howard said he has to take another quick break and he'll get to the Year in Review. They went to break after that.
After the break Howard came right back and said it's time for the Year in Review. He had a theme song to play for that. He also said he has a caller on the phone who is gay. He took the call from Steven who said he thought he caught him talking about the Kevin Spacey thing. He said that this kid was just 16 and that is legal. Howard asked legal for what. The caller said legal to have sex. Robin said it's not legal to drink though. Robin said that was part of it. Jason said it was also non-consensual. Gary said they also say the kid said he was 23.
The caller said he actually has that Quip thing and it works wonders. Howard asked what his point was about Spacey. The caller said it's about the kid being legal. He said if he saw Kevin he'd go after him. He said he'd let him put his hands down his pants. Brent said not everyone would. The caller said he doesn't think there's a legitimate complaint. He said his mom works on the local news up there. Howard said he's not sure what his point is. Robin said he is charged and he will have to stand trial. Howard said Steven doesn't think he should. Howard said he has to move on. Steven said ''Gay Steven out'' when Howard said he had to go.
Howard said before he gets to the year in review he has to talk about some of these flubs that happened on TV. He said he has Bill Weird saying ''Cock shell'' instead of conch shell. Howard said he loves on New Years Eve the reporting where they report on nothing.
Howard said an anchor on CNN said ''cock'' when he introduced someone. Howard played that clip and the guy was introducing a woman. Howard asked if Ronnie heard that. Fred did his impression of Ronnie saying cock a lot.
Howard said this is one where a reporter had trouble pronouncing the name of a dead police officer. The woman said ''Mandoodoo'' instead of ''Mangudo'' or something like that.
Howard said now it's time for the Year in Review. He had another theme song for the segment. He said they have Gary, Sal, Brent, Ronnie JD and Jason sitting in. Howard said Brent is very busy swinging with his wife lately. He said Ronnie had a big year too. He said he was acting and doing other things. Ronnie said he had that rally too. Gary asked how his wedding planning went. Ronnie said he didn't do any. He asked why he's so consumed with that.
Howard said he was thinking about Ronnie and the anal at 13. Ronnie said there were a to of magazines back then. He said he had a neighbor where they had that stuff going on. He said they used to steal porn films on 8mm. He said he had a projector that he'd watch them on. Howard said he's been sexed up his whole life. Brent asked if he jerked off while watching. Ronnie said he and his friend would jerk off in the same room reading different magazines.
Howard said it's really weird for a 13 year old doing that. Ronnie said they did it later on when they were 14-15. Jason said a majority of the office hasn't done anal to this day. Ronnie said he was caught at like 9 with a girl in his apartment. He said he was grinding on a girl's ass. Howard asked if anal is just his thing. Ronnie said he doesn't know. Howard said he's always doing things backwards. He said he's doing anal first when most people have sex first and then do anal later. Gary said 9 is really young to be doing that stuff. Ronnie said he was making out with this girl and they were dry humping. He said then his father walked in and asked what was going on there. Howard said he knows what was going on there.
Howard said it's wild to him that anal was so his thing. Ronnie said he wasn't looking at magazines at 9. Howard said he saw some magazines when he was young but it was wild stuff but not porn. Ronnie said he had his hands on porn magazines. Howard said Playboy never taught you how to fuck. Ronnie said they had magazines from stores and they were hard core, graphic shit.
Howard said he was thinking about this 13 year old Ronnie fucking a girl in the ass. He said he's not sure what's going on there. Ronnie said it felt good and he didn't give a shit. He said he blew a load. Howard said that poor girl. Jason said Ronnie just knew how to fuck a girl. Ronnie said his girlfriend was very over sexed for her age. Robin said that's called being molested. Ronnie said She was like a wet river. He said She was super wet. He said it didn't take much for her to blast all over the place. He said it was great. He said they did it every day they could.
Howard asked if he was wearing a condom at that age. Ronnie asked where they're supposed to get them. He said he didn't know about that.
Jason asked whose idea it was to do it in the ass. Ronnie said it just ended up in there. Ronnie said when Jon Leiberman worked there he found the girl. He said that he was going to get in touch with her and do a story but something happened. He said Jon never got in touch with her.
Howard said at 13 you're not that clean. Ronnie said She was clean. He said it was great. He said She was a great girlfriend. Howard said he remembers when he was 13 he wasn't doing that stuff. Ronnie said they were doing it every minute they could.
Howard said when he was 13 he had a girlfriend who lived far away. He said She would come over. Robin said Howard was never able to get away from his parents. She said Ronnie never saw his parents. Ronnie said he saw them but he was on his own a lot. Howard said he would make out a little bit and he wanted to rub her breasts but he was shaking like a leaf that he didn't dare do it. Gary said tit in 8th grade was huge news. Howard said Ronnie was getting anal! Gary said who know you could get away with that. Howard said he hadn't even heard of anal.
Gary said the goal was to have sex. He didn't even know about anal for a long time. Jason said Ronnie was just born with that in him.
Howard said JD didn't lose his virginity until he was 25. JD said he didn't get tit until high school. Brent said now he has plenty... of his own.
JD said they made a montage of the words Bobo has screwed up. Howard played that and Bobo messed up a lot of words over the years. They also had him sniffing between words.
Howard took a call from the woman that Ronnie fucked in the ass at 13. She had a few things to say about that and She was asking if Ronnie wanted her to spit on his cock. Everyone was laughing about that.
Howard said Brent is up next. Brent said that they wanted to know where the ''Times Up'' drop came from. He said that it was Salma Hayek saying it at an award show. Howard played that clip where She got in that #TimesUp thing. Howard said Fred plays that a lot. Howard asked what Fred's favorite drop was. Fred said anything Ronnie or Memet is hot. Howard asked who has Memet. Sal had it.
Sal said that this is Memet saying ''Why can't I be a cool guy?'' Sal explained where that one came from. He had a clip for Howard to play. Howard played that clip and Memet was talking about Steve and how he'd like to be a cool guy like Steve is known as around there.
Fred played a few Memet drops. He had one of Memet saying that he's a creep and he'd let a guy blow him. Fred said he thinks Memet is going to hold up for a long time. Howard said it's the pleading in his voice that makes them great drops. Fred played a few more. Robin said She likes that he calls himself the Tonya Harding of the show and ''I'm a bad cowboy.''
Howard said he's going to go to Jason next. Jason said he has some Ronnie drops. He said he has a clip of him saying ''Edgar J. Hoover.'' Jason said that he read some books and he got the name wrong when he said it to Howard. Howard played a clip from the day Ronnie got that one wrong.
Howard said he thinks if he read the book he'd know his name. Jason said they put together a montage of some of the craziness that came out of his mouth in 2018. Howard played that montage of Ronnie's crazy comments.
Gary had a drop for Robin to try to figure out. He had her saying ''You mother fucker, meet me on the street.'' Robin didn't remember where that came from. Gary said that was about Imus. Howard played a clip from that day when he was playing the Imus clips and Robin went off on him.
Howard said that's one of the great drops of all time. Gary had another one for Robin to figure out. She said ''I do not suck puppet cock.'' Howard remembered that one. He said it was when he was doing his Les Moonves puppet. He said he got angry at Robin and told her to suck his cock and Robin said She doesn't suck puppet cock. Howard played a clip from that day.
Gary said they have a montage of Robin saying wild things. Howard played that montage of Robin's wacky comments.
Howard said those were some wild things. Howard said he's not sure She could get a job in Rochester. Howard said next up they're going to do staff revelations.
Howard took a call from Mike in Maine who said he wanted to ask about Bubba asking him to write a foreword for his book. Howard said no. Mike asked if he's seen Mariah Carey in a bikini pictures. Howard said he has and he has studied them. Mike asked if he thinks She got the gastric bypass. Howard said he was looking at them with a friend and they said to him that when they're on the Daily Mail then She took them and had them professionally done. He said She looked fantastic but he's not sure if how She got there. Jason said she's flawless. He said there isn't a mole or anything and She looks 20. Howard said this friend of his said to him that there is no way that they'd put it on Instagram if they were taken secretly. Howard said who cares because She looks great.
Howard said he's not sure if they were edited. He said if She looks like that She looks great. Gary said She just went back in time by 20 years. Robin said all She has to do now is not show up in person. Gary said the skin on her face and arms is perfect. Howard said maybe she's just looking good.
Mike said Elizabeth Hurley looks great too. He said she's 53. Howard asked if she's doing something to her pictures. Gary said She was up there 6 months ago and She looked amazing. Howard said he thought Sandra Bullock looks great. Howard asked if anyone else saw it. Ronnie said he did and it was wacky. He said it was good but bad. Howard said he'll watch anything with the word box in it. Howard said he'd like to get Sandra, Elizabeth and Mariah in there for a bikini contest. Sal said get on that Gary.
Howard said that this guy on the phone says Ronnie is full of shit about the anal. Howard took the call and Pat said that he doesn't believe it at all. He said just the way he's talking about it shows it's not real. He said that he believes he had sex but not the anal. Howard asked if he could be making it up. Robin said She believes him. Howard said some guys make up sex stories to seem cool. Robin said like Jon Hein. Howard said he doesn't believe his blow job stories either. He said he thinks he's exaggerating. He said he just came up with that after people goofed on him. He said he was a nice looking guy when he was younger though. Sal said now he looks like a Prosciutto.
Howard said Ronnie lied about not knowing his body was actually Dean Cain's body in that press photo. Ronnie said he didn't know it wasn't his body. He said he was looking at the facial part. Howard said he should come clean. Howard said he must have thought it was his own body. Ronnie said he wasn't looking at the picture that way. He said he was just looking at the face.
Howard said in 2018 Dean Cain posted a video about the photo. He played that clip and Dean told him to use his own picture next time. Howard said he's been honest most of his life. Sal said he also retweeted a negative comment about Howard and he denied that he did it. Howard said he put Superman's body to his head and denied it. Ronnie said he didn't do it. He said someone else did it for him. He said he didn't make up the poster. He said someone else did it. He said no one asked him about it. Jason said he retweeted it thousands of times.
Howard said Ronnie is sticking by his story that he had anal at 13. Ronnie said he never got a blow job either. Howard said he has the body of Thor in his new publicity photo. Howard said Jon Leiberman texted them and said that the woman he had sex with at 13 was found and She said She was in love with him. Howard said that's the text. He said that the woman was in love with Ronnie. Ronnie said she's the same age as him so who cares now. He said they were one day apart in age. He said they had some great times. Howard said he has to take a break and move on. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said Ronnie's asshole has seen a lot of things. Howard said there was a knock on the door. It was Ronnie's mom. Howard had her come in and talk to him for a short time. She said she's seen Ronnie's asshole grow into a big gape. Howard said they met her in 2018 too. He said that was one of their highlights. Howard said that She is really worked up today. She said that Howard says shitty things about her boy. She said that the other girl was the same age as Ronnie said it's fine. Howard said he was reading a book about an artist whose whole family was artists. He said Ronnie's whole family was into anal. Ronnie's mom said that his father's name was Eunice. Howard thought it was Euliss. She insisted it was Eunice. Ronnie said she's out of her mind.
Howard asked what kind of stuff She put in Eunice's ass. Ronnie's mom said that she'd stick all kinds of things up there. She said he can take a rotary phone up there. She said he was like a filing cabinet. She said She put her Pat cooper records up there. She said She put Vitamix and a shoe horn up there.
Howard said one of the great moments from last year was when Ronnie's fiancee Stephanie was on the show. Ronnie's mom said that she's so close to her that She feels like She came out of her own cunt.
Howard played a clip of Stephanie telling him about the time She learned that Ronnie had taken a dildo up his ass. She didn't know at the time apparently. Howard said that got her to do things to his ass too. Ronnie said it turned her on.
Ronnie asked his mom why She had a dildo hanging out. She said that's her dildo. She said her husband loved it so much. She said it was something he liked between her and him. She said he'd stick it right between his ''ass chreeks.'' Ronnie asked if she's still getting laid. She said She is and the guy lives across the street. She said they're old friends. Ronnie was asking her questions like it was really his mother.
Howard said in 2018 they also found out that Ronnie got too friendly with Chris Wilding at their Christmas party. Howard played a clip of Ronnie and Chris talking about that night.
Howard asked Ronnie's Mom what's up with that. She said if that kid fucks with her son one more time she's going to have to do something about it. Howard said now he sees where Ronnie gets his affect from. Howard asked if She could tell that he wanted to take stuff up his ass when he was young. Ronnie's mom said She could. She said that he liked his temperature taken anally. She said She would just stick the oral thermometer up his ass.
Howard said Brent has a lot to say about sex too. He said in 2018 they had Brent in there explaining the two fingered cul-de-sac that he uses on women. Howard played a clip of Brent talking about that.
Howard said now he knows where Ronnie gets all of this. He said that Ronnie's mom must have taught him all of that.
Howard said Brent revealed that Brent has a sex contract with his wife. Howard played that clip next where Brent's wife was interviewed by one of the guys and She told them about that.
Howard asked Ronnie's mom what kind of things She did to Mr. Mund. She said She would throw darts into his asshole. She said it was huge like a tree. Howard said She is one of his favorites from 2018. He said that he loves her on the show. He thanked her for her service. Ronnie's mom said a few more things as Howard was wrapping up with her. Howard asked the guys to take her out of there. She was getting wild apparently. Ronnie said her tits are falling out. The guys were all cracking up. Gary said he just saw his mom's tits. Robin said that was a wardrobe malfunction.
Howard said that's the staff revelations that were really great. Gary said they have to talk about Sal. Howard said his job is to focus on phony phone calls but then they talk to him they find out new things. He said last year they found out he jerked off next to men in a buddy booth. Sal said they're still out there. He said you can still jerk off there. He said he doesn't do that anymore.
Gary said he liked when they found out that Sal would get napkins from Sbarro to clean up with. Sal said he did that because they didn't have that stuff in the rooms. Sal said he didn't know that back in the day. He said he would shoot his load on the floor back then. Howard asked if you're stepping in the other guy's jizz. Sal said there was a mop guy there and he would clean up before you'd go in there. Sal said he would use a dollar bill to change the channels in there too.
Howard said Sal once picked up the phone in the booth and it had jizz on it. Howard asked how you go into a place like that. Sal said these were special. He said this booth was a real lady behind the glass. He said when the thing went up he picked up the phone and there was cum all over his ear. He said he turned around and got out of there. Sal said he can still smell that smell from the phone.
Sal said the first time he jerked off he cleaned his cock off with his shirt tail. He said he had it tucked in. Robin asked what job that was. Sal said he was a stockbroker. Howard asked if it stuck to his leg. Sal said it was sticking to him. He said from that point forward he would get napkins. Ronnie asked why he didn't wipe it in the underwear. Sal said he didn't want it sticking to him. He said he'd just put it back in his underwear.
Howard said maybe just jerk off at home instead. Sal said he agrees. Howard said that way you don't get cum on your ear or in your pants. He said he doesn't have to go to a booth. He said he stays home and jerks off like a normal person. Ronnie said he hasn't jerked off in 12 years. Robin said he has said he has Stephanie now. Ronnie said he doesn't need to. Howard said Sal's going to cry hearing that. Sal said he jerks off in the morning and at night. Howard said he doesn't want to hear that.
Gary asked if Sal has ever jerked off in the bathroom at the Long Island Railroad. Sal said no way. He said he jerks off in the morning at home on the weekends.
Howard said Sal's big revelation came when they did the anal lie detector test. He said they found out that he had put things in his ass for pleasure. Howard played a clip where Sal revealed he stuck a toothbrush up his ass once.
Howard said there you go. He said they found out that Sal was lying and the lie detector found out. Howard took a call from Sal's dad who was brushing his teeth. He asked for one second. Howard told him he shouldn't use that toothbrush because Sal might have had it up his asshole. Mr. Governale said he's going to use a Waterpik. Howard said he had that up his ass too. Howard played a clip from the day Sal explained how he used the Waterpik on his ass.
Howard said that's why you never let anyone in your bathroom. He said that's what he'd do in his bathroom. He said imagine Gary found out that Sal did that. Gary said it's disgusting. Howard asked what his uncle did to deserve that. Sal said he told him the story about him pulling him to the side and took a picture out of his wallet and showed him a picture of his sister and fucked up his head. Howard asked if he told him that when he was a kid. Sal said he didn't. He said he may find out now.
Howard said Sal also revealed that he got a lap dance from a transgender. Howard played another clip where Sal told that story.
Howard asked if Sal got his money back from that place. Sal said he did. He said he almost got the lap dance. He said he didn't know what this was. He said it was a transgender room and he had no idea. He said he saw a guy getting banged in the ass and he realized that this wasn't what he thought it was.
Howard said Sal also revealed that jerked off to a transgender person in a porno. Howard played that clip where Sal made that revelation.
Howard said yesterday Sal was talking about how he had a ton of illegitimate siblings. Howard played another clip of Sal telling one of those stories about finding out about his siblings.
Sal said that boy ended up committing suicide when he found out his dad was his dad. Howard had Sal's Dad on the line naming all of his kids. He was going on and on with names.
Howard said he was thinking about Sal's best revelation. He said he revealed he held his grandfather's cock in his hand to help him pee. Howard played the clip where Sal told that story.
Howard said that was traumatic. He asked Sal's dad why he made him do that. He said it's family tradition. Howard said that was his favorite Sal moment. He said that he was also talking about getting the colonoscopy and he was drugged so when he was coming out of it Shuli interviewed him. He said that Sal was talking about Gary's wife being the hottest spouse on the show. He said he'd put her on all fours and tongue fuck her asshole. He said he'd have her shit on a glass coffee table too.
Howard said that if he had a sexual fantasy about Gary's wife it would be putting his penis in her vagina. Howard asked if Sal talked to her at the Christmas party. Sal said you bet he did. Howard let Sal's dad go after that.
Howard said Sal had a lot of revelations. He asked if there are more coming. Sal said that he's thinking about holding his grandfather's penis. He said his father sold him out on that. He said his father made him go over there that day and he must have known what he wanted. He said he was thinking about it and that's how his father fucked him over. Howard asked when he's going to realize what kind of guy he is. Sal said he's a good guy. Sal said you can't keep that hostility bottled up inside you. He said he's learned to let it go.
The guys asked if Sal's dad has apologized for anything he's done. Sal said he did when he got caught with the last to kids he had out of wedlock. He said that he did apologize for that.
Gary said Sal's dad should have told him there was a chance that his grandfather may ask him to hold his penis. Brent said look at how far Sal has gotten. Howard said he's making phony phone calls for a living. Robin said Sal is unhirable. She said he had that mock job interview and he was horrible. Sal asked who the next revelation is. Howard said it's mind blowing. He said that he admitted his father sent his sister to the store to commit grand larceny.
Howard said that's it for today's Year in Review. He said everyone loves it. He played another theme song for the year in review.
Howard said it's time for news. They played her into her news with a song parody. Robin started her news with a story about how there still isn't a host for the Oscars. Robin said they might have to go back to Kevin Hart. Howard asked if no one wants this job because we've become so judgmental. He said it used to be a beloved job. Robin said Bob Hope did it like 16 times in a row. Howard said Johnny Carson used to do it too. Robin said Bob hated it when he lost that gig. Howard said a lot of people don't want to do it because of social media. He said everyone is tweeting about you. He said there's so much judgment. He said there's no pay either. He asked why Jimmy isn't doing it again. Robin said he said he's had enough. Howard said they should get a talking parrot to do it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is Mexican and he doesn't want more people in this country but how gullible are Trump supporters thinking a wall is going to keep people out. Howard said if it would work he'd be all for it but it's a huge waste of money. He said 5 billion dollars would be peanuts to build a wall along the border. Howard said no one wanted a wall. He said everyone wanted a wall built by Mexico. He said that's what we were promised. Howard said that we need so much money for infrastructure. He said we're falling so far behind. He said this wall is going to cost hundreds of billions of dollars. He said that he's all for Donald going to Mexico and getting them to pay for it. Howard said even the people who voted for Trump didn't want to pay for the wall. Howard said he should fly down there and get it done. He said Trump said it would be easy. Robin said nothing is as easy as he thinks it is.
Howard said he'd rather put that money toward college so kids don't have to take out loans. The caller said that they have a doorbell that can keep and eye on Gary's house so why not do that with the border. Howard said that the border is well monitored. He said that's not where our problem is. He said terrorists all come in other ways. Robin said the President claims 4000 terrorists were coming in and they found that there were 41 and only 6 of them were immigrants. Howard said the ports are where most of this comes in. He said he's all for doing something about the ports. Robin said trying to regulate what people want doesn't work. She said they will get it no matter what they do. Howard said he would give 5 billion to Richard to fix his teeth. Robin said it's going to end up costing that much.
Howard took another call from King of All Blacks who asked why he doesn't just host the Oscars. Howard said sure, he'll just do it. He said what he would do if he had to host it is do it like Bob Hope. He said he would review the year in movies and just do it like that. He said you don't have to be edgy. He said it's on network television so they have to do it that way. King was saying that don Rickles started the edgy thing on the Oscars. Howard said he never hosted the Oscar's. He hung up on King. Robin said everyone freaked out when David Letterman did the Uma, Oprah thing. Howard said just go out and tell a few stories and people will be happy. He said you don't have to be edgy.
Howard said these award shows are ridiculous anyway. He said it's all about the movie industry. He said that now they have Netflix and they don't need that. He said there was a movie on Netflix that looked like it might be good. He said that it was about artificial intelligence. He said this woman is yelling at the Artificial Intelligence in the movie. He said he figured it has to get good but it was the same thing for 25 minutes. He said She kept arguing with the Artificial Intelligence for a half hour. He said he was watching it and he doesn't remember the name of it or he'd warn you to keep away from it. Howard said fuck the Oscars. He said he agreed with the voice in that movie. He said he knows no one else watches that. He said you have to go find stuff yourself and you don't know what kind of ratings they have. He said they do have some good stuff but you have to weed through it.
Howard said the Oscars are ridiculous. He said that Willem Defoe has to wait to find out if he's the greatest actor. He said that Alan Arkin is waiting to find out. He said it's ridiculous. He said they should get Brian Dunkelman to host the Oscars. He said get this guy back on his feet. He said the kid can tell a joke. He said he'd watch that.
Howard said if he sees Bradley Cooper he's going to tell him not to go. He said he doesn't need an award to know he's the best on radio. He said he votes for himself. He said he believes in himself. He said fuck you to the Oscars. Howard said he got the best hair award and they brought it to him. He said he didn't have to go anywhere. He said he loves that these actresses show tittie going to these shows. He said they spend weeks getting ready to find out if they're a good actor or not. Howard said Bradley Cooper already won. He said he made a ton of money with that movie. Howard said he's glad he has Netflix and doesn't have to leave the house.
Robin said there are scientists who are curing people and they don't have award shows. Howard said sure they do. There's one where they tell you who the best scientist is. Howard said an actor's award is getting to fuck Angelina Jolie. He said that didn't last forever but he got to do it. He said don't let anyone tell you that you didn't win. Robin said then you have people telling you if your dress is nice enough. She said imagine you spend weeks getting ready for the party and then they say your dress sucks. Howard said some of those dresses do suck.
Howard said he was up for an award and She sent Beetlejuice and Elephant Boy to pick it up for him. He said that's what he would do. He said shame on all of you for not rejecting award shows like that. He said acting isn't that hard.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he knows that they're against the wall. Howard said he's for it if Mexico pays for it. He said he's for the wall. The caller said they should get it done and worry about it later. Howard said some countries need a wall. He said Israel needs a wall. Howard said that it's logistics. He said we have technology. He said we don't have people lobbing bombs into our country. The caller mentioned the wall in World War Z. Gary said that the zombies got over the wall in World War Z. He said Brent is in there screaming about the wall. Howard said he knows. He said he's all for border security. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how Celebrity Big Brother this year could include Caitlyn Jenner and Sean Spicer. Howard said he'll watch if Caitlyn is on. Robin said this list isn't confirmed but it could be Aubrey O'Day, Bobby Moynihan, Caitlyn Jenner, Calvin Johnson, Carson Krestley, Dina Lohan, Jonathan Bennett, Sean Spicer, Stephen Baldwin, Tiffany Pollard and Tonya Harding. Howard said he would watch it for Caitlyn if She was on. JD said if this is the list he likes it a lot. Howard said JD is a TV aficionado. JD said that Tiffany was on the England Big Brother and She yelled at everyone. Howard said imagine Caitlyn finds love in that house. JD said this is only a few weeks long. He said the regular Big Brother is the whole summer. Howard wondered if Julie Chen or Julie Chen Moonves will host. He said that She might take on Les' name and just go by Mrs. Les Moonves. He said She said that no matter what she's sticking by him. He said She might be Julie Chen Les Moonves. He said She might go by Les Moonves Chen Julie.
Robin read a story about Clemson rolling over Alabama to become the king of college football. Howard said ESPN had 17 ways to watch football. He ran down the list of ways to watch the game. He said they had a blimp cam. Jon said they did have 17 ways and they had a sky cam that was 40 feet over the field and one 80 feet over the field. Howard asked if he's banging Gary in the ass right now. He asked why you would want to watch that game from 80 feet up. Jon said you get a different perspective of the game. Howard said Jon is leaning over Gary and it looks like Gary is getting fucked in the ass. Jon said Gary has moved away. Robin said She wanted to ask about this Trevor Lawrence being the next coming. Jon, Robin and Howard spent a few minutes talking about that.
Howard said Richard told him that this guy looks beautiful. He said Richard has to be gay, right? Howard took a look at the kid. He said he's okay. Howard said he heard Debbie Gibson is now following Jon on Twitter. Jon said as of last night She is. He said he followed her back too. Howard said Jon got a personal message from her for Christmas. Howard said he got his money's worth from that. Jon said She went all out. He said he was very happy with that. Howard said She did a personal concert just for Jon Hein. He said he's sure that he could hire her to do a personal party. He played the clip of Debbie doing the Christmas message for Jon. Howard said She did all of that for 50 bucks. He said it's like a whole concert. Howard wondered what Tiffany charges for something like that.
Jon had more details on this college quarterback and how he has to stay 2 more years in college football. Howard said he hates the NFL. He said it's a weird system. They spent a few more minutes talking about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he met Sandra Bullock in L.A. a few years ago. He said She is one of the most beautiful women in person. He said She was at a hockey game and She wasn't made up. He said Apples is a douche bag. Howard said that's what's happened because of TV and film and internet. He said people are too picky. Robin said he would be shaking if She walked into the same room as him. Howard said she'd have at his dick.
Robin said it seems like anyone at Saturday Night Live can date anyone who is on the show. Howard said years ago they weren't allowed to. Robin said She sees that Emma Stone is dating a producer. Howard said that's ridiculous. He said he likes that Emma Stone. He said he thinks she's hot. Fred agreed and said she's very pretty. Fred said you should see this guy. He said he's like nothing. Howard said that's what he did back in college. Fred said the one to show it to is Robin. Howard said he's a lot better than Fred. Fred said he's no Steve Nowicki. Howard and Fred goofed on Gary for a few minutes. Howard said Gary thinks that he could have dated Jennifer Aniston back before She was famous. Gary said he thinks so. He said She was in there for Nutrisystem and She wasn't quite done with that yet. He said She wasn't the same woman She is today. Howard said he's out of his mind. Howard said there is no fucking way that he could have gotten her even back then. Gary said he had a Nutrisystem girl who was even hotter than her. Robin asked where She is today. Gary didn't know. Howard said Jennifer was hardly chubby back then. He said he remembers her coming on the show back then. He said he remembers She was hot. Howard said even if She was burned in a fire She wouldn't date Gary. He said Gary is carried away with himself. Gary said he just thought he could have gone out with her at the time. Howard said he wishes they had a time machine. He said his ego is as big as his teeth.
Robin read a story about a company that has a shingles vaccine that is in short supply. Robin said they say that they're working on getting it produced. Howard said he got the shingles vaccines. He said he had to have two rounds. He said he had to find that second round because of the shortage. He said he did get it though. He said you had to have connections. Robin said they say that the demand for this Shingrix is very high. Howard asked if Robin has done it yet. Robin said She can't get it. Howard said Brent had Shingles and it was the worst pain. Howard asked Fred if he's had the vaccine. Fred said not yet. He said he hasn't been able to find it. He said he got the 50 percent version.
Robin said some small breweries are feeling the pain from the government shutdown. They can't sell beer across state lines at this point. Howard ended up replaying the clip of Richard going nuts after the football game. Howard said he's an idiot. He said Bubby is deaf now from that yelling. Fred played the Swap Shop guy saying ''Idiot'' a couple of times.
Robin had some audio of a guy talking about the government shutdown and how it's affecting his business.
Howard said people don't realize how much the government is involved in your life. He said now they're finding out. Howard said Trump has to back off this wall thing. Robins said it will look like a defeat if he does. Howard said he just has to get off it.
Robin read a story about Kevin Spacey going to court yesterday. Robin said the kid was 18 at the time of the assault. Robin said the guy claims that Spacey plied him with a bunch of drinks. She said he was working at this place and Spacey bought him a lot of drinks. The guy told Spacey he was 23. Robin said when the guy said no to Kevin he was kind of insistent. The guy said he wanted to take a picture with Kevin and he allegedly groped him and then he ran off after going to the bathroom. Robin said Kevin was arraigned yesterday and he will have a court case if they don't settle before that.
Robin read a story about Mariah Carey settling a sexual assault case with her manager. The manager claims that Mariah was naked a lot around her.
Robin read a story about R. Kelly and how people are calling for a boycott of his music. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Robin said there is one station that has stopped playing his music.
Robin read a story about CES and what they have coming out there. Robin said they have a contraption that monitors your beer to keep it cool so when you take a beer it orders another one for you. Robin said there's an LG TV that rolls away. Robin said it has a flexible screen that curls back down when it's not in use. Robin said the base acts like a big speaker for the screen. Robin said there's also a suitcase that will follow you around. Howard said he's not looking for that. He asked what the new big invention is. Robin said she's not sure there's a big blockbuster like that. Howard said he heard that they're working on 5G phones in China. He asked Gary what that is. Gary said he has no idea. Gary found out it's the cellular network. He wasn't even sure about that. Howard asked why it's dangerous that China is beating us at that. Gary said we want to be the technological leader. He said if they have it first we have to get that tech from them. Howard said now he's making sense. Robin said there's also a drone for selfies at CES. She said it can follow you around and take pictures of you. Howard asked if it takes video. Robin said she's sure it does. Howard said that might be kind of cool. Robin said She has a friend who is taking flying lessons and he has a drone following him. Howard said Beth will probably get one of those to take images of them with the cats. Robin had a clip of a woman at CES talking about the companies who are there this year.
Howard said he wishes Siri would get better. He said she's stupid. He wondered why Apple is falling behind. He said they have a ton of cash. Gary said he's seen Alexa being in cars coming out in the future. Robin asked why he doesn't want to drive. Howard said he'd rather have the car take over and he'll coach it. Robin said that's kind of what it is now. She said that you have to have the human interaction there.
Robin read a story about Amazon passing Microsoft as the most traded technology company. Robin said they're worth about $787 billion. Robin said Microsoft is like $783 billion. Howard asked if Jeff Bezos was at the Golden Globes. Robin said they may have had some movies nominated. Howard was told by someone that it was him.
Robin read a story about America's Got Talent having a new show where they have people who almost won going up against each other. Robin said Susan Boyle will be part of that. Robin had an example of her singing. Howard said it's really weird when you see that voice coming out of her. He said She has the voice of a young Ariana Grande. He said he likes her voice even better. He said Susan should date Pete Davidson.
Robin read a story about today being Elvis' birthday. Howard said no one even talks about him today. Robin said he would be 84 today. Robin said there's going to be a live auction at Graceland. She read about some of the things they have in the auction. Robin said some day they'll have sold off everything he touched.
Robin said the president is going to address the country from the Oval Office today. Robin said he's going to be talking about the crisis at the border.
Robin read a story about a Uber driver who once claimed that the devil controlled him through the app. Robin said he has admitted to killing 6 people when he went on a rampage. Robin said the 48 year old did this between ride hauling jobs. Robin said she's not sure who is screening Uber drivers but be careful out there. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Howard started the show talking about how he was listening to a phony phone call where someone said ''Hi everyone in radioland!'' He said it was a guy on a podcast. He said he's sick of people thinking they're in radio when they're doing a podcast. He said he'll play that for Robin later.
Howard said he wasn't able to sleep last night. He said he has gotten a lot of sleep lately but not last night. He said he must be all caught up.
Howard said he watched the 3 hour Bachelor. He said it was ridiculous. He said they turned a 2 hour show into a 3 hour show by going around the country. He said he fast forwarded through that bullshit. He said he can't watch a 3 hour Bachelor. He said he got in bed at 6:15 to start watching it. He said it's not that important to him. He said it's important but not that important. He said they're going to suck the life out of it. Robin said they do this with every show. She said they did that with Who Wants to be a Millionaire. She said they did the same thing with Deal or No Deal. She said they'll kill it. Howard agreed.
Howard said he has a life. He said he had to watch The Flash too. He said he can't figure this guy out on The Bachelor. He said he's a virgin and he looks like Brad Pitt. He's 26 and he looks like that and he's in the NFL and he's a virgin. Robin said girls must have done something to him. Howard said he would like to know what they've done. Robin said maybe he doesn't put his penis in. Howard said he was raised very religious. Robin said that's why these people have those lines. She said they do things. She said even the Mormons have something they call soaking. She said they are supposed to be virgins but soaking is where you put your penis in and don't move. Howard said that's why he needs a definition.
Howard said he was wondering to himself what was going on. He said Beth had already watched it and told him to fast forward through the party stuff. He said this Bachelor claims his career took over his life and that's why he's a virgin. Howard said he can find 10 minutes in his day to get laid. He said you make time.
Fred had Mark the Bagger saying that pussy is the greatest. Howard said everyone finds time to get pussy. He said this guy Colton was so focused on his football career there was no time for pussy. He laughed. Howard said that's a shitty excuse. Howard said if he was Chris Harrison he'd call the guy out on that. He said there's always time for pussy. Robin said Einstein had time for pussy and he was into some important stuff.
Howard said his story is he's straight but hasn't had pussy but he wants to lose his virginity on The Bachelor. He said he doesn't care about being married. He said now that he's retired from football he can lose his virginity. Howard said he's not into football but he's never heard of this guy. Howard asked if Gary has ever heard of Colton Underwood. Gary said no. Howard said maybe if he got some pussy it would have helped him out. He said this guy is super good looking and he's sure women were throwing themselves at him. He said he should have lost his virginity like Ronnie did at 13. Robin said it should have been 9 like Ronnie.
Howard said this was 3 hours and he got it down to under 2. He said he had it down to an hour and change. He said it was hot chicks and a good looking guy. He said that formula can never go wrong in his book. Robin said she's not sure why it doesn't work with other shows. Howard said it's good with Chris Harrison and all of that.
Howard said Lawrence Taylor found time for lots of pussy. Robin said so did OJ. Howard said he'd like to know why this guy was denying himself pussy. He said he would suggest looking at other players in the world who get pussy. He said Stephen Hawking was fucking his nurses. He said even he found time for pussy.
Howard said his point is that a lot of people find time for pussy. He said everyone but this guy. He said that he watched that show and they never said what being a virgin means to the guy. He said it's not clear if he got hand jobs or anything like that. He said the guy is a good looking guy and he must have time for the gym.
Gary said there's a guy who coached Dallas who divorced his wife so he could coach the team. He said he divorced his wife so he could do that job instead of being married.
Howard said he watched Trump's speech and he knew that was going to be full of shit. He said that he's not sure what's up with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. He said they need some media training. He said they were crowded behind a podium. He said Chuck should have moved. He said they were so stiff. He said Donald is terrible with the teleprompter and he's not good at speaking. He said that the other two weren't good either. Howard said Donald is breathing funny and he sounds odd reading. Howard played a clip of Trump speaking and sniffing funny. Howard said he had two American flags behind him and then the went to Pelosi and Schumer and they were so stiff. Robin said it reminds her of student counsel. Howard said they've been around for years. He said Chuck speaks from the heart on shows and he sounds great. He said he was on prompter last night and it sounds weird. Robin said he's done that before too.
Howard said Trump should never read. He said there's all reading and he should just pitch it himself. Howard said if you want a wall then tell him why. Robin said She questions this ''crisis'' he's talking about. Howard said she's right about that. Fred played Robin's news theme and She told him to shut up.
Howard took a call from fake Stephen Hawking who was talking about The Bachelor. He said he's a fucking pussy. Hawking said he discovered black holes while he was inside of one. He asked Robin if She wants to try soaking. Robin said She was watching a show where they did that. She said that's what they call it. Howard said he wouldn't be able to not move. He said when he's inside Fred he can't stop moving.
Howard said this Bachelor is 26 years old and he's on TV trying to lose his virginity. He said this world is pathetic. He said you can tell that guy is a screw ball. Robin asked if he could be good in bed. Howard said of course not. Robin said these women are going to walk out disappointed. Howard said he's going to be sexually uptight and they're all going to get upset. Howard said no guy waits that long when he's that good looking. He said no pressure losing it on TV either. He said that's the best place to lose it.
Robin said guys are weird. She said this woman She knows was dating a younger man and he had all of these rules. He said he didn't want her moving too much and only in the missionary position. She said She was getting this young guy and thought it was going to be a treat and it was terrible. Howard said he likes to wriggle around a lot. He said it doesn't look good.
Howard had fake Mitt Romney on the phone to talk about Trump's speech last night. Howard asked if he soaks. He said yes. Mitt said he watched the speech with his 5 sons. He said he has found that Trump is dangerous for our country unless there's a job in it for him. Then he's a stable genius. Howard talked to fake Mitt about the wall and things like that. Howard asked if we should pull out of Syria. Mitt said he never pulls out and that's why he has 18 family members. Howard said congratulations on getting elected senator of Utah. Mitt said that he's trying to imagine Fred spitting on his taint. He said Valentine's day is a few weeks away. He said he has frozen one of his bowel movements and he's going to whittle it into a dildo so She thinks she's fucking a black dildo. He said he'll know it's his own shit. Howard said he'd like to know who wrote that one. Mitt asked who wants cranberries and let out a wet fart. Howard let Mitt go a short time later.
Howard said he was in bed early at 6:15 and then he stayed up to watch the speech. He said then he had to watch the Pelosi / Schumer rebuttal. Howard said they should have hit him below the belt but they didn't do that. He said Donald was reserved and no fun. He said he should have been off the prompter. Robin said if there's a crisis then she'd like to see it. She said that's the problem, you can't see it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had an intern once who said he was a virgin and he was in a gym walking around and 6 months later he told him about fucking a girl in the ass. Howard said some religious people do that so they can say they didn't have sex. Howard said that's a whole movement he doesn't understand. He said you only go around once so do things normally.
Howard took a call from a woman who said She wants to comment on the Bachelor. She said that She was in Afghanistan and She had time to have sex with her husband. She said there's always time. Howard said that's what he was thinking. He said he was watching that show and the guy was saying he got into football. The caller said She thinks he's scared of pussy. Robin said he didn't move the needle with all of his attention on football so she'd be skeptical of him being able to do anything.
Howard said the show was an A+ even with that. He said The Flash was a B+. He said he can't watch The Arrow anymore. Robin said She can't even watch The Flash. She gave up on this years ago.
Howard said Donald was really boring last night. He said that they should just give him the money to shut him up. Robin said it's not funny that people are without their paychecks and losing their homes. Howard said that he hasn't seen Donald this orange. He said he would tell him to get rid of that. He said that's not a good look. He said no one walks around orange.
Howard said Schumer and Pelosi have to loosen up. He said they're too uptight to do what they did. He said they have to stop sharing the podium too. Robin said it's like rock stars sharing a microphone. Howard said they preempted the show FBI last night for that speech. He said he's a big FBI watcher. He said they have a hot FBI agent on that show. He said he watches the SEAL Team show too. He said they have a CIA agent who is so hot you can't help but having a boner when she's on screen. He said that they don't even act like she's a woman. He said she's a super model and they treat her like one of the guys.
Robin said Ellen Degeneres has a game show and She was watching some of that. She said She has these contestants on who look like regular people and She had to bail on it. She said that they're not model looking. She said they were just regular people and She wasn't able to watch.
Howard said when he was on America's Got Talent it took two seasons for people to get used to his face. He said he read the comments. He said at least Simon Cowell has a pleasant face. Robin said he does not. She said yuck to that.
Howard said he should take a break. He said Lindsay Lohan is going to stop by today. He said she's had some life. Robin said She would like to know what her life is like now. Howard said She lives in Dubai. Robin said She opened up some club in Greece. Howard said She did but She lives in Dubai. He said She went there because of the Paparazzi. He said she'll tell them all about that. Howard said he wouldn't even visit Dubai. He said fuck Dubai. Robin asked if it's a better place than this. Howard said that's what She claims. He said a lot of women go over there and they end up being sex slaves.
Robin said they had some stories in the press where Americans go over and make out on the beach and they get arrested. Howard said these princes will shower you in jewels to have sex with them. Robin said then you can't get out. Howard said he knows a guy who got beheaded for jerking off. Robin said that was Sal.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's 56 and he's been listening about half his life. He said he thinks Fred is amazing. Howard said Fred is a genius. Howard said try soaking in his ass and see if you can't move. The caller said that just because he's a gun owner doesn't mean he's not a liberal. Howard said he thinks he's a conservative but he's liberal on some things. The caller said he wants to talk about the wall and what's going on with that. He was going over some of the things Howard mentioned earlier. Howard said these political discussions are boring. The caller agreed. He said he loves the show but keep Benjy out of the studio. Howard said now he's talking sense.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why he finds the wall a problem. Howard said it's a waste of money. He said you have to know Donald a bit to know what's going on. He said the wall is a simplistic cure for the immigration problem. He said it's a fortune and 5 billion isn't enough. He said it's going to cost trillions. He said that it's a lot of property and a big area to cover. He said that it's not going to keep out drugs or terrorists. He said we need more security but a wall isn't the answer. He said he can't be hypocritical and hire illegal aliens at Mar-A-Lago.
Howard said he would have liked to have seen Trump come on and say that he needs 20 billion and he's going to hire more people to police our borders and air ports. He said that air traffic controllers aren't being paid right now. He said this shutdown is making it so there isn't a border patrol. He said they're not being paid.
Howard said he'd also like to see legal immigrants get their time in court to see if they can get in. He said his grandparents were immigrants and so were the callers most likely. He said the whole concept of the wall got him elected. He said that's not going to solve shit and it's going to cost a fortune. The caller said that when Pelosi's house has a 30 foot wall around it then it's hypocritical. Howard said a ton of people climb over the wall at the White House too. He said the wall isn't going to solve anything. He said it's not going to solve jack shit.
Howard said he's not talking like some liberal jerk off. He said he knows it's going to cost more than 5 billion to build that wall. He said that it's going to be trillions. He said that he put a bathroom in his apartment and it was 5 billion dollars. He said he has a Toto toilet in his bathroom and he finds himself talking to it. He said he's so grateful for that toilet. He said he tells the toilet that.
Howard said he made a doody yesterday and the seat was warm. He said it was so nice. He said he made the doody and half of it didn't come out. He said he found himself sitting here telling the Toto that this was a job for you. He said that he had to turn on the water and it had to do its thing. He said this was a big job for Toto. He said that it started to blast away at it and he didn't have any doody. He said he didn't have to wipe. He said he had to wipe the water off but there were no remnants. He said it got everything out. He said this is the greatest invention ever.
Howard asked if there's anything wrong with him talking to his toilet. Robin said there is. Fred said that people talk to themselves all the time. Robin said he's talking to the toilet. Fred said there's nothing wrong with that. Howard said he bets Fred talks to himself a lot. Fred said he did when he was growing up. He said no one was around. Howard said he has to take a break and get to more calls. They went to break after that.
Howard said Fred the Elephant Boy is out of work because he's a government employee. He had him on the phone but he wasn't here when he picked up. Howard checked to see if he was doing something wrong. He wasn't but Fred wasn't there. Howard said he wouldn't understand him anyway.
Howard said he heard the government is telling the employees to hand your landlord a letter saying everything will be okay. Robin said ''Oh no.''
Howard said if he said you could have a wall or two armed guards to protect you, what would you take. Robin said the guards.
Elephant Boy finally got not the phone. Howard asked how old he is now. Elephant Boy said he's 60. Howard said he always thinks of him being younger. Howard asked how his health is. Elephant Boy said he just got a new pacemaker. He was talking about some story he had about his recovery. Howard said he's actually in the hospital now. He said if he goes into a long story they may not understand it.
Howard said Elephant Boy is out of work because of this shutdown. He asked if he hasn't gotten a paycheck. Elephant Boy said as of Friday he won't be paid. He said if he didn't have to go to the hospital he wouldn't be going to work. Howard said he doesn't like this shutdown. He said we all agree we have to protect the border but this isn't the way to do it.
Howard said he doesn't think government workers should be penalized. He said he's sorry to hear Elephant Boy is in the hospital. Elephant Boy said have a happy new year.
Howard asked Fred if he's upset about Gene Okerlund dying. Fred said something about him and said all of these guys he grew up watching are getting old and dying. Howard said Fred is a home run. He said he lost him halfway through that. Fred's phone cut out again so he wasn't here. Howard asked if he was there and didn't get an answer.
Howard said maybe he'll pop on when he's doing his obituary for Mean Gene Okerlund. Howard said this guy was around in the 80s and 90s and he was the perfect guy for that wrestling thing. Robin said he dyed his hair black too. Howard said he had a shitty job. He said he had to do some stupid fucking things. He said in the 90s he had to interview a guy in a bad turkey outfit. Howard played a clip of him doing his thing with that turkey guy. He said that was not an easy job.
Howard said that's acting. He said Fred is back. He asked if his recovery story is long. Fred said no. He said one of the wires for his pacemaker is on his diaphragm so he was having a bad case of the hiccups. He said the pacemaker was setting off his hiccups. He said they were big ones too. Howard said he has some way of telling a story.
Howard said he was talking about Mean Gene Okerlund. Howard said he has another clip from back in the 90s when Hulk Hogan was attacked by Earthquake. Howard played the clip where Gene was talking about Hulk being in the hospital. He was all upset about that. Howard said he thought it was all fake until that clip.
Howard said Fred was interviewed by Mean Gene. Fred said he was at a WCW event and he was interviewed by Gene. He said he was like someone important. Howard said this was in 2000. He said Gene was with the WCW at the time. Howard said this is a clip from that show. Howard played the clip and Gene introduced the Wack Pack which included High Pitch Erik, Beetlejuice, Elephant Boy, Hank the Dwarf and Crackhead Bob.
Howard wondered if that guy went home and drank after that. He said that had to be a highlight for Elephant Boy. Elephant Boy said it was. Howard wrapped up with him and said he hopes he's not out of work too long. Elephant Boy said he has some savings but if this takes a long time he may go on temporary assistance. Robin asked if those people are working. Howard said he's lost. Robin explained it to him. Howard said he likes that they have to explain to their landlords that they're out of work because of this shutdown. Elephant Boy said he can live with his brother and maybe they can make a deal with half the rent or something. Howard let Fred go after that. He said he hasn't checked in with him lately. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said he hears a million Robin songs. He said he got this one in the mail and it's too creepy. He said this one is called ''Robin Quiver Mania'' by a guy named Loon. Howard said this one stopped him in his tracks. Howard played the song and the guy did it without music. He was talking about sucking her nips and things like that. Robin asked if they have a return address for this guy. Howard said even Lenny Dykstra was offended by this. Howard said this guy is really into her. He said this is a very involved fantasy. He said it's barely a song. He said it's more of a poetry slam. Robin said she's not hearing any beat.
Howard played more of the clip and asked if Robin has any interest in this guy. Robin said no. The guy said he loves those big brown knockers She has. He said he'd love to fuck the shit out of her. Howard said look at Robin. He said she's gripping her pepper spray. Howard said She draws in all kinds of admirers. Robin said she's building a wall around herself now. Fred played Lenny Dykstra saying ''I'd like to lick your pussy.''
Howard said he'd like to congratulate John Travolta coming out... as a bald man. He said he posted a picture of himself with a bald head. He said he looks handsome again. Robin said She likes that. Howard said he can pull that off. He said he's a good looking man. He said he probably feels liberated. Robin said She would think he is feeling great.
Robin said this is like when Andre Agassi shaved his head. She said he liberated himself. Howard said John looks like a human being again.
The caller said he needs some advice. He said he's been dating a girl for 5 years and he wants to marry her. He said he made the mistake of telling her he wasn't interested in anal and 5 years in he wants to do it even though he's never tried it. He said She doesn't want to do it. The caller said he's not sure how to approach this. He said 5 years ago he was just trying to get in her pants.
Howard said he's going to help him with this. He said he's no Ronnie but... The caller said he actually tweeted him and wasn't able to get an answer. Howard said Ronnie has a lot of fans to deal with. He said he'd probably say just ease her into it. Howard said people are putting too much emphasis on anal. He said as someone who has done it it's not that great. Robin said that's for Howard. The caller said he heard it's great. Howard said Ronnie likes to receive anal. He said some guys would tell Kenny to mess with a finger back there. Howard said he would do this. He said 5 year in they have to have a dialog. He said he should just tell her he's more open sexually now and he'd like to try it. He said if She says she's not into that then don't push it. He said maybe she'll change her mind and let him try it. He said if it's a deal breaker then just fucking respect it. He said being in the vagina is such a home run. He said it's not that big of a deal if you don't get to try it. Howard said just ask her. He said if She doesn't want to do it then forget about it.
Kenny said that She has mentioned it before and She has hinted that She might want to take it in there. He said that he's pretty well endowed. Howard asked why he's scared to bring it up. Kenny said the word anal sounds so dirty. Howard said try to be mature about it and say he just wants to put it in a bad place. Kenny said he's concerned about the clean up. Howard said if you put your dick in the ass you don't put it in the vagina after. Kenny said he knows that.
Howard said just bring it up with her. He said it's not that big of a deal. Kenny said he has brought it up but it's been so long. He said that he's running out of time. He said he wants to marry this woman. Robin said if you're going to spend your life with this person you have to learn to talk things out. Howard asked if he's willing to eat her ass. Kenny said he would do that. Howard said he would draw the line at that. He said he's never done that. He said no one is eating his ass.
Howard said it's funny because he's had some sexual experiences where they wanted that and he put his penis there and it wouldn't go in. Kenny said the female has to prepare for it too. Howard said they have to clean up a bit to make sure they're fresh as a daisy. Howard said if he's that into it then try asking about it. He said he thought it was weird when he tried it. Kenny said he's sure that it's not going to be worth it.
Howard took a call from a guy named Gus who said that he's an expert. Gus said he has to be willing to sacrifice by eating her asshole out. He said once he does that she's going to want that dick in there. Howard said that has to be a health hazard. Gus said not at all. He said you have to clean up first. He said you can do all kinds of things to clean it up back there. He said there is nothing more beautiful than that.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were doing a bit where they had a couple doing anal.
Howard had another caller who said that he had the same thing with his wife and one night he cooked her a good dinner. He said they started with a dry martini and some wine. He said She just said put it in and it was great. He said they are doing it periodically now. He said just charm her and it will work out.
Howard said he's getting a lot of good advice there. Kenny thanked him for that. Howard said call them back after he tries that. Howard said everyone is involved with anal. He said it's highly over rated. Robin asked if Howard could ask for anything he wants. Howard said dyes and She can tell him no very quickly. Howard said that's not part of their menu. He said he knows what's on the menu. He said Beth is lucky because he has tried it before. He said he always felt like something was poking back at him. He said he's not into that.
Howard said he's still going to therapy and he tells that guy everything. He said he doesn't tell Beth everything. He said he wants her to see him as a guy in control. He said that he doesn't want her to see his weaknesses. He said he wants her to think he's Charles Bronson or Keanu Reeves. Howard said he should take a break. Fred said he must. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said listen to this. He said we'll never see the likes of this again. He asked what year this was. Fred said it was 1967. He said this is when it was art. Howard said he loves that Jimi Hendrix.
Howard asked if he would like the Handmaid's Tale. Robin said She hasn't seen it yet. She said She is going to watch it but She can't comment on it.
Howard said this guy had to OD. He said that things were going so well. Robin said he probably didn't know he was dying. She said he went off and didn't know he was coming back. Howard said he was only 27.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has been listening to them so long. He said he's glad that Howard was able to come out on top of all of the adversity he's had. Howard said it feels like he's been on the air 100 years. The caller said that he was talking about that anal stuff and they used to be into it 30 years ago. He said it's not the same now. Howard said you have to respect what your wife wants. The caller said he's not sure who doesn't get that the pussy is where the pleasure is. Howard said he doesn't get Ronnie being into that. He said that he just needs to be in a vagina.
The caller said he thinks that Robin was in the air force in 1974. Robin said She was. Howard asked when She met him. Robin said it was 1980. She said She actually didn't go into the military until 76. She said She was in California for a year and then She went to broadcasting school. She said She met Howard around 80 or 81. Howard said Robin's career took off as soon as She got into it. Robin said She gave up sex and devoted herself to this. Howard said She really is devoted. He said She never misses a day. Even when She had cancer.
The caller said he asked questions of his wife when Howard had things going on in his life. He said he asked his wife why She was even with him. Howard said it's good to know he's there. He said his phone was annoying but he was a nice guy.
Howard said Robin's dedication is awesome. He said She went to some broadcast school. Robin said the guy there introduced her to Denise Oliver who introduced her to Howard. She said that he introduced her to everyone he knew in radio. Howard said her career is almost as charmed as Lindsay Lohan's. Robin said She went to a radio station that was pretty bad. She said She went through a lot of markets very fast.
Howard asked if She had any attraction to him physically. Robin said he did some race where he looked good. Howard said he did a race and it was one of those pictures where he was at the right angle. He said that they had some chemistry on the hone and then he shows up and it's really shocking to her. Robin said he had lost his voice when he met her. Howard said that happened when he started new jobs. Robin said he was silent at dinner with her. Howard said he would lose his voice every time.
Howard asked if She was shocked when She saw what he really looked like. Robin said he looked like his publicity photo. Robin said Howard is so handsome now. Howard wondered if Lindsay Lohan will be into him. Howard told the guys to give her a vomit bucket just in case.
Howard asked if She could do it now. Lindsay said She could do it but she'd want to work with someone more. She said She didn't have coaching that much back then. Howard said she's been on TV since She was like 3. She said She was on Another World. Howard asked if She could remember a script without effort. Lindsay said yeah. She said She would write it down and remember it faster.
Howard asked who She signed with. She said She sighed with Ford. She said her mom got her into that. Howard asked if they knew She was an acting prodigy. She said after Parent Trap they did.
Howard asked Lindsay about where She went to school on Long Island. She said She moved to Merrick after her parents divorced. Howard said She has some crazy story. He said her dad went to jail. Howard said She must have PTSD after that. Lindsay said She thinks She puts it into her acting. She said that acting was like an escape for her.
Howard asked Lindsay about going to school and having a movie out. He said if he had a kid in his school like that he would have been like holy Mackerel. Lindsay said She told kids She went to summer school and then She came back and She had done a movie. She said She didn't want to brag about it because She didn't know what it was going to be.
Howard said She did a Jell-O commercial with Cosby or something. She said She did. She said her mom has all of that old stuff. She said she's so young in them that it doesn't matter.
Howard asked about going to Calhoun school because he can't relate to that. He said he thought of that school as being a white haven. He said he was in Roosevelt. He said when he moved to a white neighborhood the white kids didn't even like him though. Lindsay said She was bored around these kids because She wasn't learning things like She was on the set of movies. Howard said that must spoil normal behavior. He said you're so catered to on the set. Lindsay said She thinks she'd tell kids to wait until a later age to start. She said She wasn't thinking about it when She was that young. She said looking back She doesn't know. She said maybe She wouldn't have done The Parent Trap.
Howard said Lindsay moved to Dubai to avoid the Paparazzi. She said that's one of the reasons. She said She is there in the States and She can do things for a couple of weeks and then someone will find out and then she's screwed the rest of the time she's there. Howard asked what the goal is for them. She said She thinks it's easier if she's just nice to them. She said She wanted her own space and She never could get it.
Howard asked if She has asked for space. She said She has and they still ask for one more. She said they're crazy in their cars. Howard asked if She finds it crazy. Lindsay said She does. She said it's dangerous for her and for other people in the streets. She said in Dubai you can't take photos without their permission first. She said that she's not sure of the whole procedure though. Lindsay said that some people are nice about it and ask. She said some people here will call her a bitch if She turns them down.
Howard asked who controls Dubai. She said it's princes and kings. She said that Dubai is nice. She said that they have zero tolerance for drugs. Robin said they also ban gays over there. Lindsay said She thinks that you can do things in your own home. She said that it's not really banned. Lindsay said they don't have people fighting in the streets. She said they have regular restaurant out there. She said they have more McDonald's than they do here. Howard said they have to ask to take her picture there too. Lindsay said that was her main reason to move there. She said there are reasons She likes living there. She said her life is super private there.
Howard asked if She has a boyfriend now. Lindsay said no. Howard said he thought She was great on Saturday Night Live. He said She hosted after She did a movie and She was really good at it. Lindsay said She got nervous the third or fourth time in. She said she's not sure why. She was dealing with a lot of stuff. Howard said he thought that Debbie Downer sketch She was in was so great. He said that they were cracking up during the whole thing. He said that was great. Lindsay said that they were laughing even harder during the pretape. She said that Jimmy was on the floor laughing.
Howard said when She did Parent Trap She was huge. He said She was like 11 when She made it big. She said She was 10 or 11. Howard said the movie made a ton of money. Lindsay said her parents wanted her to stay in school and be normal. She said She would fake being sick to get out. She said She would fake things and get out. She said she'd do anything to get out of school. She said her ADD was really bad. She said She felt like She was doing nothing. Howard asked why they ere picking on her. She said there was a group of girls who were upset with her. She said that She told everyone She went away with her parents. She said She had a friend who was jealous of her and they started a petition with 7 other girls to get her to go away.
Howard asked if She told her mother She wanted to go away. Lindsay said She did. She said She just wanted to work. She said She got more movies and worked more. Howard said then the kids want to be her friend when she's famous. Lindsay said She was fine with everyone at school. She said everyone was nice to everyone. Howard asked when She felt She had a lot of pressure on her and her parents were splitting up. He said that She had to support the family. Lindsay said not yet. She said that was maybe after Mean Girls. She said that her dad ended up getting in trouble for insider trading. She said then they moved to her mom's parents house to make the commute. Howard said it had to be confusing. Lindsay said She didn't want to do that anymore. She said then She got Mean Girls and then She went to Toronto. She said She got more and more movies and she'd travel more. Howard said She did that movie with Tyra Banks. Howard said She did a sequel to that. Lindsay said She was filming a show so She wasn't able to do this. She said now She has Lohan's Beach Club. Howard said She has this new show and is She in that. She said She is in them but it's more about the kids in the show. She said they really work for her at the Lohan Beach Club. She said She has to figure out what they will have to do there. She said she's still working on that. She said it shows what they do and how wild they are. She said She doesn't stay at the house with them.
Howard asked how many clubs She has. She said they have 3. Howard asked if the partner puts up all of the money. Lindsay said he does with some partners. She said She does work there and does the interior design and chefs and things like that. She said She has control over every detail like that.
Howard asked if She likes that better than acting. Lindsay said She does enjoy it. Howard asked if She thinks about other actresses who are like her and if She thinks She could do them. Lindsay said She does. She said that She doesn't live in L.A. now and they're stuck in this thought process. He said that someone sent her a link to TMZ and they were being so nice to her. She said they were being really nice and that's not normal for her.
Howard said that Lindsay has these clubs in Greece and She goes to Dubai. She said it's only a 4.5 hour flight. She said She lives in a small place over there. She said her mom comes to stay with her. She said her brother Michael will come to say with her too. Howard asked if She stays in touch with her dad. She said they are. Howard said look at this. She said that it was just moving to Dubai. She said it brings everyone back together.
Howard asked if they depended on her too much. Lindsay said her brother is very successful now. She said he's in commercial real estate. She said he just landed in Dubai. Howard said that it seems like Mean Girls is what She was dealing with in real life. Lindsay said a little bit. Howard said the movie was a girl who had to fit in and She had to fit in. Lindsay said that they were just as sneaky in the movie as in real life.
Howard said he heard they're making a sequel to the movie but Tina Fey can't do it. Lindsay said Tina can't do it and some people say it's too soon but it's been 15 years.
Howard asked if She had to audition for Parent Trap. He said he heard there were like 15,000 kids auditioning. Lindsay said She only had to audition for Public Enemies. Howard said She was supposed to be in that John Gotti movie. She said it wasn't coming together great. She said it fell apart and She didn't want to do it after that. She said it was different when She read it. She said it was more about the women.
Howard asked if when She had to audition for Parent Trap did She have to do the accent. She said She did. She said it just came out. Howard asked if She thinks she's an acting prodigy. Lindsay said She doesn't know. Howard said not every kid can do a British accent. She said She just did it when her mom asked if She could do it. She said She was able to do two dialects. She said they brought her in for 3 auditions and then She did the screen test.
Howard said when he did his movie he loved the way they treated him on the set. Lindsay said when you're that young you have to go to school. She said She wasn't able to hang out with anyone that much. She said the school was a real thing. She said She had to do it on the weekends sometimes.
Howard asked if She graduated high school. She said She home schooled and did graduate. She said She finished that at 16. Howard asked if She was confused going out with guys because she's introduced to the guys who are super handsome. He said that these guys are like top of the food chain dudes. Lindsay said that other people might consider it that. Howard said as a kid you don't know. She said when you grow up it becomes a very incestual place. Lindsay said She dated a guy who didn't have Instagram or anything like that. She said that She has dated famous guys. She dated Wilmber Valderrama. Howard said it's hard to have a serious relationship with him because he's so good looking. Lindsay said he's a great guy.
Howard said that Jamie Lee Curtis has been very nice to her. Lindsay said they're close. She said they check in with each other. She said that they have a mutual friend so that's how they connected. Howard said She told her to get rid of all of her hangers on. Lindsay said that's right and She was right about that. She said She was lonely even though She had people around. She said She didn't want to go out all the time. She said the friends were only around when She wanted to go out.
Howard asked if She has good friends now. She said She doesn't like to go out. Howard said they have this image of her that She likes to go out. Lindsay said She would just go out for loud music and having fun. She said She had her college years earlier than you'd think. She said She wanted to get the clubs going in Greece because they have no misconceptions of her over there. She said they're just having fun out there. She said She can go in and hang out there and there's no problem.
Howard asked if her name helped getting her club out there. She said it did. Howard said it seems to him that owning a club you have to be there every night. Lindsay said the beach club is closed at night. She said that they close it at night. She said that's why they did it on the beach. She said She would be on the beach anyway. She said She likes to be out on the beach and at home at night.
Howard asked if She has to wear anything special in Dubai. Lindsay said no. She said She has friends who dress provocatively. She said that they will go out to a club like that. Howard said She moves off to start clean and She has an idea for this club. He asked when that hit her. Lindsay said She went to Mykonos and She met a couple of people there who were looking to do some things there. She said She went to check out this place with one of the guys and he asked her to do the interior design. She said She made a logo up and it say Lohan on it. She said that the money was already there. Howard asked what it costs to open a club. Lindsay said she's not sure and She doesn't want to know. Howard asked if it's lucrative. She said it is. Lindsay said that she's had the Athens club for 5 years now. Howard said now She has 3 places. She said they're seasonal too.
Howard asked what makes the club so great. Lindsay said it's just a great place to go on the weekends. Howard asked who decided to put it on TV. Lindsay said She did. She said people from America are starting to go there. Howard said that it's a good commercial for her business too. She said it is.
Howard said they're going to have an after show too. She said not every time. She said that was just a one time thing. Howard said her sister is doing well too. She said She has a record that sounds amazing. Howard said She has the sister and a brother. Lindsay said She has another brother, Dakota, who is a model. Howard said her parents hated each other but they had a lot of kids.
Howard said that Lindsay was at a low point in her life when Oprah came out for her. Lindsay said She wasn't at a low point. She said they scripted it that way. Howard said he thought She was in rehab or something. She said She had gone to rehab. Howard asked if that works. She said it depends on the person. She said She wasn't forced into it. Howard said he thought that's what Oprah was after trying to help her out. He said She must have been furious about it. Lindsay said She was. She's not mad at Oprah though. She said She thinks it was the director and not Oprah.
Howard asked if She texted Oprah after Jimmy Fallon asked her to. She said She was going to but not on the air. She said She hasn't done it yet.
Howard said She has friends like Oprah, Jamie Lee Curtis and who else. Lindsay said She has friends in Greece, England and Dubai. Robin asked if She knows the famous people in Dubai. Robin said Roger Federer has a place there. Lindsay didn't know that.
Howard said Lindsay's show is on MTV and they want that to take off. He said it's on Tuesday nights on MTV. He said it's Lindsay Lohan's Beach House. Howard asked if She wants to open one here in America. She said maybe. She said she'll travel back and forth. She said she'll open up a Paparazzi club.
Howard asked if She has had a love of her life. She said She has and he wasn't famous. She said She won't mention his name. Howard asked if he cheated on her. Lindsay said he did something else. Howard said he'll take care of this guy. She said he just lied. She said that She didn't need that. Howard said especially after the kids were mean to her in high school. Howard said it's hard with that kind of fame. She said it's hard to hide a lie.
Howard said She dated Samantha Ronson too. Howard said that was wild. Lindsay said She talks about that on her show. She said they're still friends. She said that's not her thing. She said on the show She talks to one of the VIP hosts about being Bi. She said that She told him that you just like what you like and She came to his defense. Howard asked if people passed judgment on her. She said they did. She said that it was tough. She said it's hard to accept seeing someone in a good light sometimes. She said that it's hard to bring up the past and stay in the present. She said it can be shitty at times.
Howard said one guy told him not to date an actress because when they cry they're putting it on. Lindsay said that's ridiculous.
Howard asked what it's going to take to win her over. She said She needs someone who supports her. She said he has to be funny and smart and someone She can learn from. She said She thinks he'd have to be older. Howard said how about this celebrity dating app. She said She heard about that. Howard said he knows a woman who is just about engaged from that app. Howard said it might be good for her show. Lindsay said She can't imagine that.
Howard asked if you can fall in love on a movie set. Lindsay said She doesn't think so. She said She works with actors and she's never attracted to them. She said it's a weird thing. Howard asked if they ask her to go run lines is that asking for sex. Lindsay said not at all. Howard said he did that on the set of his movie.
Howard asked what it's like having a sex scene in a movie. Lindsay said that it's weird. She said that they didn't show certain parts and it was dark. She said she's glad it was like that. Howard asked if it upset her. She said She had underwear on. She said She wasn't actually naked. Howard said he would never do a nude scene. He said his penis is so small. He said imagine half a thumb. Lindsay said ''Oh my god.''
Howard said Lindsay's show will be on every Tuesday night on MTV. He said give it a chance. He said you know her and love her and give it a shot. Robin asked how long they shot for. She said they're done shooting. Howard said how about they show up at the club one day. Lindsay said they could do a commentary show. Howard said he'd show up with his belly hanging over his bathing suit.
Howard said he sees the previews for the show and they have a to of attractive women there. Lindsay said She wears a one piece and she's the whitest person in Greece. Howard asked if She works out. Lindsay said She does a 30 minute work out. She said She wears a vest that's really good. She said you can run in it and work out 12 hours a week. She said that you're sore for the first few times.
Howard said he learned that she's basically a recluse. He said that people are vampires. Robin asked what a day like is for her. Lindsay said She watches TV and she's also writing a script. She bought the rights to a book to make into a movie. Howard asked if she's going to be in it. Lindsay said She is. She said that they're developing the script now. She said it's about a couple that goes on a honeymoon and one of them goes missing. She said there's more to it.
Howard asked if She plays video games. She said not really. Howard asked if she's nerdy. She said techy more than nerdy. She said She has friends to teach her how to do things. Howard asked what She can do. She said She probably shouldn't say. She said they teach her how to clone phones and stuff like that. She said She shouldn't get into that. Lindsay said She also likes skydiving. She said that She does it tandem. She said She has a guy who goes behind her. She said She has to go a certain number of times before She can go on her on. Howard said he would never be able to do that. Lindsay said that She loves it. She said you feel so strong after it. She said it's so freeing. She said it's so great.
Howard said you have to be careful with the guys you go with. Lindsay said the guy She has been with has gone like 16,000 times. Howard said the guy is basically right behind her. She said he is but it's not sexual. Howard said it is sexual for the guy. He said men are creeps. He said she's better off without a man.
Howard said Lindsay recorded two albums in 2004 and 2005. He said the first one sold like 5 million copies. He asked if she's doing anything else with that. She said She may do something with her sister but right now that's her thing so she's letting her do her thing.
Howard asked what they learned today. Robin went over some of the stuff they learned. Howard said he heard that women go to Dubai and become sex slaves. He asked if Lindsay did that. She said stop it. She said She can't believe he's asking that. Howard said sometimes women go there and end up being high priced prostitutes. She said that happens everywhere. Howard said he heard she's building her own island in Dubai. She said She is. She said She has had so much work the past two weeks that she's going to pass out.
Howard asked if She is going back to Dubai. She said She is on Saturday. She has a few more things to do this week in the States. Howard said She also wants you to know she'll be in a one piece on the show. Howard asked if she's meditating. She said She is. Howard said he's been doing that since he was 18. He said it's great. He said she's done it all. He said She did it at a very young age. Lindsay said she's trying. Howard said at 10 he was still wetting his bed. Robin said She probably couldn't envision where she's at now when She was a kid. Lindsay said yeah. She said it was time for her to be her own boss. She said She was tired of being judged and being told what to do.
Howard asked if She wants to say fuck you to Emma Stone and people like that who are taking her job. Lindsay said not at all. She said she's not going to play that whole L.A. game. Howard said he'll play it for her.
Howard asked her to say hi to her mom. He said he ran into her somewhere years ago. Robin asked if she's going to be on Celebrity Big Brother. Lindsay said She wouldn't tell her anything.
Lindsay told Howard that apparently she's the only one living in her building. She said that the owner hasn't put anyone else in there. Howard said that's wild. Howard went over what they learned today and wrapped up. He said he thinks they covered all the ground. Robin asked when She was last in a relationship. She said almost 4 years ago. Howard asked if She has kissed a man since then. She said She did just a couple of months ago but it was just a kiss.
Howard gave her some more plugs for her show and mentioned the Oprah texting thing. Lindsay said She isn't doing that. She said She doe text her but She didn't do it just because they asked her to do it. Howard asked her to say hi to her if She does text her. Howard said he might go to that beach club. He said he may fly in over the summer. He said he'll bring the kids and do some tech. Robin said they'll clone a phone together. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it's 25 below zero over in Minnesota. Howard said they haven't seen one drop of snow there in New York. Robin said that's not true. Howard said he got jealous when he heard that Lindsay lives in a building alone. The caller said She is hot with that raspy voice of her's.
Robin said She has her own club and She has to yell at people in her bikini. The caller asked if he has seen the previews of her show. Howard said he has. He said he watched the first episode. The caller asked if he still doesn't dry off with a towel after a shower. Howard said he uses a towel of course. He said he puts one leg up on the counter and dries off under his taint. He said he's going to put a picture of that up for people to see. He said he's so gross.
The caller said he sounds more handsome now than he did in the past. He said he is in love with Lindsay Lohan so he's going to Dubai. Howard said everything scares him outside of America. Robins said there are a bunch of things you can get arrested for over there. Robin said the police will turn a blind eye but then they don't and you're in trouble. Howard said he'll be the one getting in trouble.
Howard said he isn't sure why anyone goes to Iran. He said some guy got arrested there. He said this guy went there for pussy an got arrested. He said it's too much.
Howard took a call from Balls who said he's never been a fan of Lindsay Lohan but he's glad she's got her shit together. He said She sounds like a sweet person. Howard said She was great in some of those movies she's been in. Balls asked if it's easy to ask her questions. Howard said She was very forthcoming so it was easy to ask her questions. Balls said that he wanted to thank Howard because he got a show on some network. Howard said he lost interest and he was reading the paper when he said that. Robin said he said something about getting a new show on the Battleground network. Balls said he's had one for 3 and a half seasons. Howard said he thought he was just some guy who called in. Balls said he started out on GPN and that's a long story. Howard cut him off and thanked him for the call. He said he probably has a show on the internet.
Howard said if you're not getting said for your broadcast then you're not in broadcasting. He said he has to get that straight. Howard said you're not in radio if you have a podcast. He said there's nothing fun about that.
Howard asked what Balls said. Robin said it was something about a show on a network. Howard said he's inspiring that?
Howard said Jeff the Drunk is freaking out about the government shutdown. Jeff said he went shopping yesterday and his food stamps were denied. He said they didn't re-up his food stamps. Howard asked what he's doing for food. Jeff said he paid for it with his social security. He said that's still going but he's not sure for how long.
Shuli came in and said that Jeff is looking to get a $15,000 walk in tub in his trailer. Robin said his trailer isn't worth that much. Howard asked where he's getting that money from. Shuli said he's not yet because that's just the estimate. Howard said how about saving the money and just shower. Jeff said they say they can put a shower in for $9,000. He said he has a shower but he wants a walk in. Shuli said he's fallen a few times. Jeff said no, no, no. He said he doesn't need Shuli in here. Jeff said he fell but that was a whole different thing. He said that was in Baltimore. Shuli asked if he has fallen in his shower in his trailer. Jeff said yes but not naked.
Gary said this is one of those tubs that have a door on it so you can walk into it. He said that the one he sees online is only 5 grand. Howard said it's a standing stall like what Houdini was in. Robin said no. Jeff said they put you on payments for $149. Howard said his shower can't be that big that he falls down in it. Robin said the things they're talking about have a door on them and then a seat so you can sit in there. Jeff said it has jets like a Jacuzzi. Howard saw a picture of it and said that's pretty cool actually. Jeff said he told them that he's part of the Howard Stern Show. Howard said he's not though.
Gary said the one he's looking at is $2,400. He asked where he's getting 15 grand. Jeff said they came over and gave him an estimate. Howard said they're just going to put it in and get the hell out of there. Shuli said they probably just came up with a number that the can't afford so they could get out of there.
Howard said he's shocked that Jeff even bathes. Jeff told him to stop. Howard said good for you. He said that's a goal. Howard said he's not upset about the government shutdown if this keeps Jeff from betting this thing. He said he's reading that it cost $2000 at Home Depot for one of these tubs. He said he doesn't have to spend 15 grand on it. Jeff said that it's the installation. He said it's not going to happen in one day.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that they have to build support under the tub in the trailer so that's why it costs so much. Howard took another call who said he knows a guy who sells these things and they sell them on these things so they get reimbursed from Medicaid and things like that. He said that's why they charge so much. He said they're just pieces of shit tubs too. Robin said all he needs is a rail and a chair in his tub as it is.
Jeff said how about that fuck face. He said fuck you to the guy and to Howard and hung up. Howard said he likes that he hung up on him. He said he just said he should go to the morgue and let them wash him down. He said that or go to a car wash and let them wash him down. Shuli said he told Jeff not to tell people he's part of the Howard Stern Show. He said he told him to ask about the tub anyway. Howard said he doesn't need that tub. He said he likes that Jeff can get the government to pay for his tub. He said that he had some medicine that he had to fill out forms for and then his health care didn't cover it. He said that it was a nightmare. He said this guy is getting a 15 grand tub.
Jeff called back in and said that he's upset that they were talking about him the way they were. Howard said he should be the one who is upset when Jeff tells him that he's using his name for that tub. Jeff said he's the one who told him about that. Jeff kept setting the phone down. Howard asked why he's doing that. Jeff said that's what he wants to do. Howard said that it's not his job to use his name to get shit. He said that's Gary's job.
Howard had Mariann from Brooklyn on the phone saying that this tub is a scam. She said that they were asking him to put a deposit down and then he has to pay for something he can't afford. Mariann said she's not sure how he can get one of these tubs. Jeff said he didn't use Howard's name. He said he just said maybe he could call into the show and he can work something out. Howard said he was trying to get a free plug for them. Jeff said they didn't want them to mention them. Jeff said they called him a fucking scum bag. Mariann said he was trying to get a free tub. Howard said he just called him a scum bag and a fuck face. Mariann said Howard lets him get away with that. Mariann said that Jeff hangs up on Howard and Howard hangs up on her. Howard hung up on her.
Howard said don't use his name. Jeff said he usually doesn't. Howard said he just did. Jeff said he doesn't do that. Howard said he didn't work hard so Jeff could get free tubs. Jeff let out a grunt that Shuli imitated. Jeff said he doesn't need them taking phone calls and having people bust on him. He said they're already busting on him. Howard said he has Tan Mom on the phone so he's going to let Jeff go. He said he's done with him. Jeff let out a fuck you to Shuli after that.
Howard took a call from Tan Mom who said that was so stressful She thinks She needs Botox. Robin asked if Botox is for stress. Tan Mom said it is. She said a tub isn't 15 grand. She said people are being ripped off. She said you can't put a tub like that in a trailer. Shuli was doing his Tanner Mom impression. Howard had Shuli do an impression of what She just said. Shuli did that and Howard let her go. He said he has to get to some news. He did a live commercial read first.
Robin said that Howard raised his kids in the age of cell phones. Robin asked if he ever texts and doesn't get a response. Howard said of course. He said Beth does that to him. He said She won't answer. He said he hates texting so much. Robin said how about talking his texts. Howard said it's just annoying. He said with the kids he wants to talk and that's how he does it. Robin said you end up worrying when they don't respond. Robin said a dad came up with an app called Reply ASAP. Robin said it sounds an alarm that makes your kid hear it so they can respond or you won't be able to do anything until you do. Robin said there are other apps that work in a similar way. Howard said how about being glad that the kids are doing something that they might be busy with. Robin said you want to know they're okay.
Robin read a story about the meteorologist who was fired for saying ''Martin Luther Coon'' accidentally on the air. Robin said he claims it was a mistake and he was fired over something that was an accident. Robin said the guy said it was accidental. Robin said She thinks these people rushed to judgment. Robin said the guy says he's upset that his employer didn't support him.
Robin read a story about a homeless man and a couple who were accused of running a GoFundMe scam. Robin said they have talked about them before but the homeless man has a warrant out for his arrest. Robin said the homeless man was supposed to be in court yesterday and he didn't show up. Robin said he's a veteran and She feels bad for him but he didn't show up for court. Robin said 2019 is kicking off the wrong way for this guy Johnny Bobbit. Howard said that's not the first time something bad has happened to a John Bobbit.
Howard said Al Roker is calling for them to give that weather guy a second chance. Robin said he didn't give Megyn Kelly a second chance.
Robin asked what the most dangerous job in America is. Howard said he has to think about this. He said there are guys who hang off buildings. He said saying Martin Luther King might be the most dangerous. He said you'll lose your job. He said maybe Gary's dentist. Robin said She heard being a dentist is one of the better jobs to get into. Howard said how about working with Fred Norris. Robin said he's never going to get it. Howard said military man. Robin said she's not sure they consider that being a job. Howard said it is a job. Robin said that's not what this story is. Robin said that the most dangerous job is fishers and fishing workers are at the greatest risk of losing their life. Howard asked if dynamite juggler is more dangerous. Robin said that might be. Robin said that construction workers and airline pilots are up there too. Howard asked where radio broadcaster is. Robin said that's not even on the list.
Robin read a story about the CES show going on in Las Vegas. Robin said the guy who made the robotic dildo was barred from the event and he's claiming it's sexism. Howard said there's no need for that. He said that's for flat screen TVs and things like that. Robin said this guy wanted to go in with his sex toys and he's saying there is a gender bias. Robin had some details about the toys they wanted to show off.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves the new app and he uses it all the time. He said he was listening over the break and they did the King of All Blacks fashion show. He said he thinks he should be banned from the show. He said he pretty much admitted beating his wife and he was defending R. Kelly yesterday. Howard had King on the line and asked what he thinks about that. King said he's not a creep. He said he's a person that's real and there are people who are jealous of R. Kelly for getting young girls. Howard said he's off base with that. King said that he was getting younger girls who were legal age. Howard said he doesn't know much about this. Robin said he allegedly forged Aaliyah's age on some document. Howard said King hung up. He said he didn't hang up on him.
Robin asked who the highest paid actor is in TV these days. Howard said he has to think. He said that it must be someone like David Boreanis. Robin laughed. Howard said maybe it's someone like Ellen. Robin said this is a male actor. Howard said someone from that Big Bang Theory. Robin said that is correct. She said that it's the last season for this show because Jim Parsons is considered essential to the show and he has turned down an offer from CBS for $50 million. Howard said what an idiot. Gary wanted to answer that earlier but Robin cut him off. Gary said the show is great. He said they're like the top 3 highest paid actors on TV. Robin said all of the original cast make a million per episode. Robin said that Jim makes more because he has the spin off show ''Young Sheldon.'' Howard ended up goofing on Gary and playing a Baba Booey song parody. Robin asked if Gary knows why he's quitting. Gary said he wants to go and do other things. Robin said he's 45 years old and they're playing 20-something. Robin said he thinks that's ridiculous to play a young guy at that age. Robin said she's sure the rest of the cast want to keep doing the show. Gary said they have been very vocal about that.
Howard said Gary sure knows a lot about Big Bang Theory. Howard said he would advise him to stick with the show if he was his agent. Robin said it's too late. Howard said that's a lot of money to turn down. He said you can always use another 50 million. Gary had another story. He said Hugh Grant was on their show and he was in a movie with Simon Helberg and he goofed on him for being on TV but later realized that he was the richest person he had ever met.
Robin said Mark Harmon makes $19 million a year for NCIS. Robin said Ed O'Neill makes $15 million for Modern Family. Robin said Eric Stone Street makes $13.5 million. Jesse Tyler Ferguson makes 13 million. Gary said Danny Zuker is an Executive Producer on that show. Howard said he has to be kidding with all of these notes. Howard said enough of the stories.
Robin asked who the highest paid woman is on TV. Howard said someone from Big Bang. Robin said no. She said Ellen Pompeo makes $25 million a year. Robin said that She was the major player on her show. Robin ran down a list of some other women who are making a ton of money on TV. Robin said that there are some cable women on the list. She said Claire Danes is on the list. Howard said he's going to guess $12 million. Robin said it's 9 million. She said Andrew Lincoln was making $11 million a year on AMC. She said that Norman Reedus will be the highest paid now. Howard said he digs that guy. He said he hardly even says anything. Robin said he doesn't have to speak. Howard said he's good but he always looks dirty on the show.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in again and said that people don't know where to turn. She said that She only wants to hear Howard's opinion. She was going off on Dr. Phil and his podcast.
Howard said King of All Blacks is back on the show thanks to Mariann. King was on the phone again so he asked Howard to put a picture of the TV that comes out of his floor up for them. Howard said it's nothing special. He said it doesn't come out of the floor. He said he's not going to post that. Robin said She told him to ban him. Howard said She was right. He hung up and did a live commercial read.
Howard said he's highly invested in this show where they show Tracy Morgan building a shark tank in his house in New Jersey. Robin asked where this show is. Howard said he thinks a home should be private. He said he's not sure what that shows. He said Tracy has a pool house and he emptied the whole pool house and they're putting in a tank that's the size of an aquarium. He said Tracy wants to swim and see his sharks. Howard said they're taking this pool house which is like 3-4000 square feet and they're gutting it to put in a tank. He said the show is called Tanked. He said they're putting in full size sharks in there. He said he feels bad for fish. He said they have no room to swim.
Howard said he brought that up because of what King asked for. He said this TV he has is just something at the end of the bed that goes back down inside. He said it's nothing special.
Robin read a story about a guy who is being accused of murdering his brother with a sword. Robin said this guy stabbed his brother in the head because he thought he was a lizard person. Robin said he made reference to a conspiracy theory that there are lizard people walking around. Robin said JD pulled some clips for her. She had some audio of the guy saying some really wacky stuff. Robin said that came from his posts on YouTube. Howard said he's not sure why he'd want to kill a lizard person. Robin said she's not sure why he'd want to do that. She said she'd have to listen to Alex Jones to find out why. Robin had more audio of this guy talking about how there are aliens living and controlling people. Howard had fake Alex Jones on the phone to comment on that story. He was going on and on about the conspiracy stuff. Howard asked why they kill the lizard people. Alex said you see them bleed out of their gills. Alex ended up doing some birthday shout outs.
Robin read a story about police in Chicago asking people who have allegations about R. Kelly to come forward if they have a story. Robin said this is after the show ''Surviving R. Kelly'' came out. Robin had some audio of a prosecutor talking about how sickened She was after seeing that show.
Robin read a story about cops in New York City dropping their investigation into Mario Batalli.
Robin read a story about a teacher in a school for autistic kids is now under arrest for dragging a 12 year old boy down the hall. Robin said this kid had an outburst in class. Robin had some audio of the mother talking about how hard he tries and how the teacher restrained him in the wrong way. Robin said the teacher grabbed him by the wrists and down the hall.
Robin read a story about a substitute teacher who was arrested for allegedly masturbating in a classroom while students were present. Howard said his parents would have said he was acting like a moron if he had a teacher drag him down the hall. Howard said they thought teachers were always right. Robin said this teacher who was masturbating was doing this at 10:30 in the morning. Robin said the guy says the kids probably just didn't understand what they were seeing.
Robin read a story about a substitute teacher who is accused of smearing feces on tables at a park where a principal had set up a birthday party. Robin said She was doing this to get back at the guy because She didn't like what he was doing at the school. Robin said this was a 42 year old woman.
Robin read a story about the breakup of Jeff Bezos and his wife. Robin said that she's going to get a lot of money. Robin said they were married for 25 years. Howard said he probably wants to wine and dine a few gals. Robin said She thinks he likes to work. Howard said that's the end of Amazon. He said now he's going to be flying women on his personal helicopter and taking them to his private island and all over the world. Howard said that guy is going to be up to shenanigans.
Robin said Jerry Jones who owns the Dallas Cowboys just bought a 360 foot yacht. Robin said it cost as much as it cost to buy the Cowboys when he bought them. Robin said it has everything on it. She said it may have people to carry him. Robin said it was $250 million. Howard said imagine the cost of fuel. Robin said that's how valuable the Cowboys have become.
Howard said Jeff Bezos is going to be on such a tear. He said he has so much money. Robin said that's a $700 billion company now. Howard said he's going to be laying it out on the line. He said he'll ask out models and just tell them how things are going to go. He said he'll shower them with gifts. Robin said they wont get as much as his wife got. Howard said of course not. He said he can fuck Emily Ratajkowski for a weekend. He said she's married though. He said everyone could be seduced to fall for Jeff Bezos. Howard said even he could be convinced to be his hooker.
Robin read more about the yacht that Jerry Jones bought and told Howard about the things that are included. Howard said why not. He asked if he's single. Robin said he's not and he's naming the yacht after his wife. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Today's show was over around 11:25am.
Today's show was over around 11:20am.