Howard started the show talking about the Rob Zombie song they play every morning. He let that play for a short time. Howard said he should have been a rapper. He said he could talk while someone else sings. Robin said that's not rapping. Howard said he saw a guy the other night rapping and he wasn't sure what the fuck he was doing. He said someone was singing behind them. He said it's such a strange thing to him. He said he never thought music would come to this.
Howard said he wants to compliment this guy in the Daily News today named Kenny Torella. He said he did a story about money spent on pets and how there's so much abuse going on with cows and chickens while we treat our pets so poorly. He said it's kind of boring to talk about but there is obscene abuse with these other animals. He said it's in the Post today on page 12.
Howard said hi to Fred and asked how his weekend was. Fred said it was very nice. Howard asked if he went for a ride on his motorcycle. Fred said he did not. He said it's in the shop. He said he has something wrong with the carburetors. Howard asked if they charge too much. Fred said he can't fix it so he can't help it. Howard said he's sorry he got into this.
Howard said he wanted to take a class to learn how to fix a car. He said that he would like to know more about cars. He said he wants to go into the garage and tinker. Howard said he sees guys who go under the car and stuff and he would like to be able to do that. He said he always wanted to be able to fix a car. He said he can't even change a tire correctly. He said he was with his friend Pete who is a police officer and they were going somewhere. He said they got a flat and Pete got out and knew what to do. He said he was just making noises. He said he took the old shitty tire off and pretended to do something.
Robin said she learned to change a tire when she started driving. She got one flat and that was the last one she ever changed. Robin said you have to learn where to put the old tire and things like that. Howard said he can't do anything manly. Robin said she felt she didn't do it right and didn't put the lug nuts on correctly.
Howard said he's consumed with this. He played a clip of Julie Chen signing off of Big Brother as Julie Chen Moonves. Howard said he did 2 hours on Les Moonves the other day and people told him to shut the fuck up. He said he is consumed with this though. He said Julie's husband was accused of doing things to women that are horrendous. He said Julie said that Harvey Weinstein's wife should leave him and things like that. He said then she gets on and says that. He asked what that's saying to women out there. He said it's saying ''fuck you'' and she's proud of her husband. He said she's telling the accusers to fuck off.
Howard said what he can't stand is that if you have something to say, just say it. He asked if that's her sending up a smoke signal and telling people she's not moving out.
Robin said all you can say is that she's saying she's doubling down on being with Les Moonves. Howard said she wins. He said she can keep that Moonves name. He said he wishes she'd just go on The Talk and say something about what she's thinking. Howard said he's not sure what it means. He said they'll have to speculate.
Robin said what she's getting is that she thinks Julie is buying Les' story about what these women are accusing him of. Robin said that he may be saying that this is an attack launched by people who wanted him out. Howard said CBS is not saying if Julie will return to The Talk today. Howard said that's not cool to make you tune in every day.
Robin wondered what the people in the house thought of that since she's never said it before. Howard said how about just staying out of it. He said that she doesn't know what happened and neither do we.
Robin said just imagine Hitler survived and Eva Braun had to stay there with him. She's not going to say he was a monster from day one. Howard said imagine Jada Pinkett had to be with Hitler and had to say she's Jada Pinkett Hitler.
Robin said that Julie was with Les for a long time and maybe he didn't do anything while she was with him so that's the only Les she knows.
Howard said he was obsessed with that the whole weekend. He said he's obsessed with Les too because he sued him for no reason. He said he's thinking of becoming Howard Moonves in a show of solidarity. He said he's saying it's funny to be Howard Moonves. Howard said he's going to be Howard Harvey Oswald. He said he can be Julie Chen Oswald.
James said he tweeted that Alex Trebek is retiring from Jeopardy and he's growing out a beard. He asked if Howard is going to do that too if he retires. Howard said he just triggered something about a dream he had over the weekend. He said he ran into Dave and he still had a beard but it was trimmed to a normal beard. He said it wasn't a crazy beard anymore. He said it was like what a captain would have on a boat. He said Letterman looked like the guy in the Ghost and Mrs. Muir. The caller said he doesn't know that one. Howard explained what it was. He said it was an older woman who had a house on an island and it was haunted by a ghost. He said they had an intimate relationship but not sexual. Howard said that this was what women wanted to see
James asked if Howard is going to grow that beard. Howard said no way. He said he's not sure how Beth looks at him. He said one day he had sex with Beth and he is so heinous looking. He said today he tried to talk himself into accepting the way he looks. Howard said that there was an article about Woody Allen in the paper today and he was looking at Woody and he thinks he's worse looking than him. He said he walks around with a regular hair cut and shows his face and he's doing just fine. He said he's not sure why he can't do that himself. He said he has to cover up his face with his hair. He said he has to have the microphone blocking his face on the app video. He said that he should wear his hair like Sia does. He said he could over up his whole face.
Robin said the only person down on his looks is Howard. Howard said that's not true. He said women didn't talk to him before he was famous. Robin said that's not true. Howard said Robin was the first woman to talk to him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's been listening since he was 15 and he's 37 now. He said he thinks the Les and Julie puppet are the funniest thing. Howard said people say that they hate it. He said some say they like it and they think it's the funniest thing ever. He said he's not sure who to believe. He said he did a puppet show for Robin and he was going to put it on the app. He said it was Les with one of his accusers. He said he was going to put it on the app and he was getting sad for the intern. He said it was too graphic for him. He said maybe it wasn't funny. He said it was sad. The caller said it is sad but also funny. Howard said maybe he'll post that video at some point. He said that it was an actual victim of Les and it drove it home so hard it wasn't funny. He said it felt like an attack. Howard said you know it's bad when he starts growing a heart.
The caller said that the doctor wasn't very attractive. Howard did his Les and Julie voices talking about that for a few seconds. He had Les talking about how he was doing the doctor a favor. Howard said the reason women aren't coming forward is because they get attacked. He said that's why the woman who claims she was attacked by Brett Kavanaugh didn't come forward.
Howard said he's getting close to dragging out that puppet. Robin told him not to do it. Howard did it and started doing his Les Puppet voice.
Howard said if he came forward and started accusing someone and then they show pictures of him not looking so good he'd be upset. He said that's what they're doing with these women.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up Hurricane Florence and how the people were told to evacuate and they didn't listen. Howard said they're morons. He said the authorities told them to get out and they didn't listen. He said people died and one was a baby. He said he was heart broken. The caller said he doesn't get the riding it out thing. Howard said he likes to see the news and he wants to see Trump all the time. He said he has to stay in office because he won't know what to do to stay entertained. He said he loves to see Trump going off about the Mueller investigation. He said that they go to his tweets where he's saying it's a witch hunt and all of that. Howard said that this weekend it was all about the hurricane and he had to turn it off.
Robin asked if he saw the video of the reporter over acting and pretending the wind was blowing him away and two people walk by casually. Howard said he did see that. He said the guy was just trying to make it more entertaining.
Howard said he doesn't like what nature does to us. He said we're treated like ants. He said we can't control our environment. Howard said he hates seeing people losing their homes. He said he just wants to see Trump. He said he knows what's going on with that and he just wants to see Trump.
Howard said the economy is doing well right now and Trump should just be quiet. He said the guy can't help himself though. He said he just has to say stuff. He said that there will never be another presidency like this ever again.
Howard said Doug is going to play the game and they'll give him a test question. He said they showed a picture of Michael Jackson to Gary. He asked Doug if he thinks that he will say boy or girl. Doug said he thinks he'll say girl. Howard played Gary's answer and he said that's a girl because she has lipstick and long hair.
Howard said they showed Gary a picture of Bruno Mars. He asked Doug what he thinks he'll say. Doug said he thinks he'll say boy. Howard played Gary's answer and he said that's a girl because of the way she looks. He insisted it was even when Wolfie told him it was a boy. Howard said he is kind of effeminate. Robin asked if he walks down the street completely confused every day.
Howard said they showed Gary a picture of Miley Cyrus. He asked Doug what he thinks he'll say. Doug said he'll say it's a boy. Howard played Gary's answer and he said that's a girl. He was right. Doug got that one wrong. He said he has to get the next 3 right. He said he's playing like a billionaire and like he doesn't want that money.
Howard said they showed Gary a picture of David Bowie. Howard asked Doug what he thinks Gary said. Doug asked Fred what he thinks. Howard said that's not going to help so he just has to answer. Robin said she thinks he'll say girl. Doug said he will say that's a girl. Howard played Gary's answer and he said that's a girl. Doug got that right.
Howard said they showed Gary a picture of Justin Bieber. Doug said he thinks Gary will say that's a boy. Howard asked if he's sure about that. Doug said he's sticking with that. Howard played Gary's answer and he said that's a girl. He said you can tell from her look. Gary asked how they get all this shit. Howard said Doug technically lost but he got only one out of 4 right. He said he'll give him 2 more chances. He said he kind of misled him a little bit about Gary getting the name. He said if he gets one of the two right he'll give him the prize.
Howard said they showed Gary a picture of George Washington. Doug said he thinks Gary will say that's a girl. Howard played Gary's answer and he said that's a boy. He said that's a president. Gary knew who that was. Howard said Doug has one more chance.
Howard said they showed Gary a picture of Boy George. Howard told him to think like he fell down a staircase and hit his head. He said just think with your feet. Robin said she thinks that it will be girl. Doug said he thinks Gary will say that's a girl. Howard played Gary's answer and he said that's a girl because she has makeup on. Howard said Doug just won $500. Doug said he's going to use that to pay off his car and to do some stuff with his house. Howard sang him off with a song about the game. He sang about how he said they'd be having fun today.
Howard said in the end he thought like someone who sniffs a lot of gasoline. He wrapped up with Doug and put him on hold to collect his prize. Howard went to break after that.
Robin asked if he thinks she had to go to the producers or did she do that on her own. Howard said she didn't go to them.
Howard took a call from a guy in North Carolina and asked if he's okay. The caller said he's fine. He said he's near the mountains so he's good. Howard said they said a hurricane was coming there way a few years ago and they ran out to Pittsburgh. He said that they weren't sticking around. Robin asked what they think they can do when a hurricane threatens their house. Robin said they stay to guard their stuff but what are they going to do when the house gets blown off the foundation. Howard said they float to a safer place.
Howard said he and his wife flew to Pittsburgh and nothing happened at home. He said they have an apartment in Manhattan. He said he's not sure why they didn't go. Howard said this weather guy scared the shit out of Beth. He said he called his mom and told her about the trip. He said she asked why they didn't stay at her house. Howard said he didn't know they were welcome. He said that she won't even pet a dog. He said that his dad would tell a dog to go to its mother. He said he doesn't want anything emotional happening. He said he would have more of a conversation with the dog than he ever did with him.
The caller said that he's 29 now and his dad used to listen to him in the furniture factory he worked in. He said that he's listening to the show and it's funny but back then he would push boundaries and push the FCC. Howard thanked him for that. He didn't understand half of what the guy said with that accent he had.
Howard said when you listen in the car you don't know what anyone is saying on the phones. Robin said she can understand most of what he said. Howard said he has headphones on and he could barely understand it. Howard said the guy was saying that he's a new subscriber.
Howard said they made a new phony phone call. He said they're the only ones making mass phony phone calls. He said they did a whole day of them on Labor Day. He said they'll keep doing them until a hurricane washes them away. He said they called a Swap and Shop show and wished the host a happy birthday even though it wasn't his birthday. Howard played the call and they told the host that they know his birthday is coming up soon so expect a lot of celebrities to call in with birthday wishes. Then they called in with Brian Johnson, Tony Orlando, Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Cronin and other real celebrity birthday wishes for the guy. The host would hang up on all of them because his birthday isn't until November. Howard said happy birthday to that guy.
Howard said he has to give a shout out to these two guys in L.A. named Chad and J.T. He said they're two comedians and they were at this city council meeting and spoke out to stop a ban on house parties. Robin said she remembers that. Howard replayed the clip he was talking about. He said they're out there doing their thing like a less gross Sal and Richard.
Howard said the guys are at it again. He said they went to another city council meeting and asked them to put a ban on Bird Scooters. He said they want to ban the scooters because you can just leave them laying anywhere. He said they feel there should be rules a about them. Howard said they were about to ban then and Chad and J.T. went to protest that. Howard played the clip and Chad and J.T. were at this meeting explaining how their lives were changed by these bird scooters. Howard said he admires anyone who can waste people's time. He said that's so great. He played more of the clip where J.T. got up and did his speech. He said he's going through a break up and the scooter is all he's got.
Howard said the only problem is that people are laughing and not taking them seriously. Howard said he applauds those guys for going out and doing that. Robin said it's fun.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she wonders what Julie Chen is doing. She said that's so screwed up. Howard said that's like a big fuck you to the ladies out there. He said that she's taking his last name like she never did before. Robin said how about just becoming Julie Moonves. Howard said that's next. He said she'll just become Moonves. He said it's like a big fuck you to the women who are accusing him.
Robin asked if your husband stopped doing this the day you met him, and he had done it in the past, and you don't find out for 15 years, do you leave him. Howard said yes. He said she has to see deep down inside that something is wrong there. Robin said there were some places that had Les on a list. She said a massage parlor had him on a list. Howard said Julie has to be wondering who the fuck she's married to. He said she's a hot number. He said she married him for his power. He said now he has no power. He said this is fucked up. He said she's being defiant. He said how about just shut your mouth and be Julie Chen. Robin said this is not going to go away.
Howard kept playing the ''I'm Julie Chen Moonves'' clip. Howard said she was thinking about a way to make a statement without making a statement. He said it's a statement but not really a statement. Robin said it's definitely a statement.
Robin asked if The Talk will talk about it. Howard said they should. He said they'll talk about other sexual predators.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked why they're even questioning this because she met him as an intern and sucked his cock. Howard cut her off before she got into it much more. He said that she was really angry.
Howard had Julie growing her name with last names like Hitler, Weinstein, C.K. and more. He asked what she's really trying to tell us with that. He asked if she's all in with her husband? He said that she should just come out and say it.
Howard said the reason he got into radio is so he could just say what he's thinking. He said that's what he's doing. He said he hates that stuff.
Howard played a ''Sarah Poppins'' bit with fake Sarah Huckabee Sanders as Mary Poppins. They went to break after that.
Howard said this Brett Kavanaugh is accused by a classmate from high school where she says she was attacked by Brett. He said this is a serious accusation. He said she felt it was an attempted rape. Robin said she felt she could have died because he had his hand over her mouth allegedly.
Howard said that this is a guy who could be on the Supreme Court. He said it's probably the most important job in the country. He said that it's a very important job. He said that it's a job for life too. He said the last time this happened was with Anita Hill. He said they treated her horribly. He said they had Arlen Spector on the show and he told him how he didn't like how he treated her. Howard said they treated her like she was a criminal. He said she did come forward and testified. Howard said they attacked her over her accusations. He said it was a fiasco. He said she did testify in front of congress.
The caller said that this woman says she will testify too. Howard said he's trying to get there Sam. He said he should think like him. He said he's right. He said this woman was anonymous and she told Senator Feinstein that. He said long story short this woman in 2012 had suppressed this. He said that she was in a therapy session with her husband and it all came out. He said she felt like she was going to come forward. He said she's a credible woman. He said she wasn't going to come forward but this is a guy who is up to be on the Supreme Court. Howard said this is a serious accusation and it deserves to be heard.
Howard asked Sam what he was doing there. He had some odd noises on the phone. Sam said he's driving to work. Howard said it sounds like goblins and he's Van Helsing chasing down vampires. He hung up on the guy after that.
Howard said now you say that the democrats are stalling and all of that. He said that's all nonsense. He said this isn't the end of the world. He said this woman needs to testify in front of congress. He said it's important to hear her. He said if this is true then the guy has a serious fucking problem. He said he's not saying he's guilty but this woman didn't just come out of the woodwork. He said this came out in 2012. He said that they need to hear her out.
Howard said this is too important a position to give to just anyone without hearing out this story. He said that they can get some other conservative in there if this guy doesn't work out. He said this is a serious enough accusation to hear it out. Robin said stop arguing about the timing. She said it's the seriousness of the situation.
Howard said Senator Al Franken left the senate and this kind of stuff is serious. He said they can't have this kind of thing hanging over someone's head. He said they have to have a hearing.
Howard said the way Anita Hill was treated was awful. He said she was made to look like a criminal. He said she came forward anyway. Howard said one friend of his told him that maybe it didn't even happen the way she says it did. Howard said they have to hear her out. He said let's hear it. He said it's important enough to hear it out.
Howard asked JD what he thinks about Julie Chen since he's a big Big Brother fan. JD said he thought it was funny. He said she's never done this before. He said it came out of nowhere. He said he doesn't know. Howard said he loves talking to JD. He said that JD just thought it was funny. JD said he doesn't have any deep thoughts about it. Howard asked JD what the message is there. JD said he thinks she's standing by her man and showing support. JD said maybe she's giving an F-you to Shari Redstone who runs the network. Howard played a song parody about JD's mumbling. Howard said that was sent in by Eli Braden.
Howard said he was about to use the Julie puppet and it's ripped already. He said that they must be buying them from China.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been listening since he was 17 and he's 55 now. He said he's so happy that he is ripping this guy a new asshole. He said keep fucking with him as long as he needs to. Howard said he could do 2 minutes of puppet. He said he'll do it now.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's Mariann Moonves. She said that she was obsessed with this all weekend too. She told Howard that Simon Cowell got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She said all of these men who are doing this stuff to women are getting attention. Howard said that Mariann turns 60 today. He said she has a lot of energy for a 60 year old. Howard hung up on her and played a song parody about her.
Howard went into his Julie Puppet character and said he's doing this for the app. He said they need something to put up on the app. He had her saying she's Julie Chen Boston Bomber Moonves. Howard changed that to Julie Chen Ailes O'Reilly Moonves. He said she's taking on the names of people. Robin said she's taking on the names of people who have been accused but not tried. Howard had Julie Puppet saying her name is Julie Chen Genghis Khan Satan Moonves. Robin said that she can get behind anybody.
Howard had Les Puppet come in to thank Julie for backing him up. Robin asked Julie Puppet what she has to say to women who were harassed on their job. Howard had Julie Puppet saying she is Julie Chen Sandusky Moonves. She had other last names of people who were accused of things like that. He had her saying she's Julie Chen The Jews Run The Banks Moonves. He said she was also Julie Chen All Women Are Sluts Moonves. Howard said he's going to end this after 2 minutes because he wanted to put this on the app. Robin had another question for Julie Puppet though. She asked if Les ever approached her wearing nothing and trying to kiss her. Julie Puppet said she's Julie Chen Mengela Quivers Moonves. Howard explained that no one knows what the fuck he's doing there.
Howard said goodbye with his Julie Puppet. He had more last names for her to throw in though. He had Julie Chen Robin's Dad Moonves and more. Julie Puppet said that's all you'll ever hear from her. Robin asked what friends they went out to Nobu with. Howard said that was Kim Jong Un apparently.
Howard said Norm was on for two hours the other day and it was a good appearance. Bobo said it was great. Robin said they beat up Norm and then said he has a new show. Howard read through some of the mail they got about Norm being on the show last week.
Robin said they try to put the blame on Howard when someone screws up on the show. Robin said they were asking if Howard creates an atmosphere. Robin said Howard isn't responsible for what people say.
Howard said Bobo said collaborate. He said you have to hear this. He played a clip of Bobo saying that word and saying it instead of corroborate. Bobo said he was trying to say ''back up.'' Howard asked what he should have said. Bobo said he forgets the right word. Howard told him it was corroborate. Howard said Bobo loves him so much that they did this thing and Bobo hates everything he hates. He said Bobo makes it his own though. Howard said they pulled out different conversations where Bobo says he hates things that he hates. He played a few clips of Bobo repeating what he has said he hates. Howard said Bobo probably heard him use that word corroborate and he tried to use it.
Howard hung up on Bobo after he got into something that wasn't on topic. He played a song parody about Bobo.
Howard said that Shuli is there now. Shuli said he ran up to get his paperwork. He said there is so much shit about Bobo. He said he was contacted by so many people from his industry. He said that he can tell him that the percentage of awards that he has is completely different. Howard said Shuli has done some investigating and he learned a lot. Shuli said that back in the day if you suggested something in the post office you got a certificate for it and a cash prize. Howard said some of his awards were from making a suggestion. Shuli said that's right. He said he could do this now if he wants. Howard said Shuli is their Ronan Farrow. He said he's uncovering things.
Howard told the guys to get Bobo back on the phone. Shuli said he has a binder ready for Howard and he wants him to have it. He said he wants to do it right. He said he doesn't want to half ass this. He said they should wait.
Howard asked what Bobo claims he has won. Shuli said he claims to have won 60 awards. Howard had Bobo back on the phone. Bobo said that they keep bringing up this home made award but it was something he just designed. Howard said that's home made. Bobo said he designed it himself but it was a real award. Shuli said he made it look like an award. Howard said he sent it in as an award he won. Bobo said he did not. He said he explained that it was something he made. Bobo said it was not an award. He said it was something he made. Howard said it's like the 9/11 jacket. He said it's something you just assume was there for a reason and it was real. He said it wasn't a real award. Howard said that award is not an award. Bobo said it was something he made. He said if it's an award it says it's an award.
Howard said when you have 60 things on your wall then you assume that everything there is an award. Shuli said there are things there that have no name on it. Bobo said he explained that to him. He said he got the trend setter award. He said that's a really good award. Howard asked if he has any friends. Bobo said he has lots of friends. He said the people who work with him know him. Bobo said his partner Mike said that you had to walk on water to pass his road test. He said that's how good he was. Howard said that's why the students would stick gum in his wig.
Shuli said he asked him to send pictures of his awards and he sent pictures of himself. He said there were no awards.
Howard asked about the certificates that were given out to Bobo. Shuli said they would give certificates for making suggestions at the post office. He said that a lot of them were printed on sight at the post office. He said they were making it in the back and handing it to him. Bobo said you get it like a month later. Howard said he shows up to work every day and gets an award.
Bobo said he had an idea to put up a mirror so the truckers could see if they have brake lights. He said that was a great idea. Shuli said that he was told that the stuff he suggests is a complete waste of time and the post office has to be efficient. Shuli asked if it's true that he had a suggestion to have reflective stop signs. Bobo said that he should have patented that idea. He said he sees them all over the place now.
Howard said imagine how demoralizing it is to have someone suggest putting a speed bump in the parking lot and they get a certificate for that. Howard goofed on Bobo about the ideas that Bobo was coming up with.
Bobo said they had these shoring bars in the trailers and he had an idea for that. Howard cut him off and said he's zoned out already 2 seconds in. He said he can't tell a story.
Howard asked when you say that this is a bullshit award. Robin said she's not sure why they did this when it was just a suggestion box. Howard said a lot of post office workers need that kind of thing to make them feel useful.
Howard asked what the shittiest award is that he found. Shuli said he found the million mile driver award. He said the way it's presented to you is if you drive over a million miles at the post office then you get this. He said no one keeps track of your miles. He said if you work there 30 years you get this plaque. He said that Bobo doesn't know how many miles he actually drove. Bobo said that was with an 18 wheeler and it wasn't with a car. Howard said he's not sure why he's in an 18 wheeler. Shuli said he had his license for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he works at the post office and he was in the sales department and they give out these awards like candy. He said they give them out to everyone and they're meaningless. Howard asked if they give them out to anyone. The caller said that's the way it goes.
Bobo said he got an achievement award for an accident he was in. Shuli said Bobo was teaching this guy and he got nervous and stopped on the tracks. He said Bobo told him to drive through the gates and they broke them. Shuli said the train stopped at the station so he wasn't going to get hit. He said he didn't have an accident. He said he never would have had an accident. Bobo said he took four days off for that.
The caller asked if he ever got the Ben Franklin award. He said he got that and the prize was $10,000. He said that was for uncovering fraud. Bobo said he never got that one.
Shuli said he just gave Howard a picture of an award for the most patriotic worker. He said that Bobo got savings bonds and they gave him an award for that. Bobo said he got people to sign up for that so that's why he got the award. Howard said he got the award for spending his own money on savings bonds.
Gary asked how many miles a day Bobo drove a day. Bobo said he doesn't know. Gary said he would have had to drive 132 miles a day 5 days a week for 30 years to get that million miles. Bobo said he was the king of overtime.
Bobo said they have everything in print there. He said he has his friends to back him up too. Howard had Bobo Drops on the phone to tell them about all of his awards. The guys had him reading off his awards. They had a ton of things that Bobo had bragged about on the show before. The guys kept playing clips after Howard said goodbye.
Howard said not all heroes wear capes. Howard asked real Bobo to speak to fake Bobo. Bobo said hi and the guys played clips of him responding to himself.
Howard said Ronnie went to one of his classes and he couldn't wait to get out of there. Shuli said Brian Phelan went too. Howard said he's getting reports about this and Bobo had about 60 awards and one of them was something Bobo put together himself. He said that's stolen valor or phony valor.
Howard cut himself off saying that he has a guy on the phone with an award for Bobo. The caller, Mark, said he should present him with the worst caller of all time in all radio. Howard said that's a good suggestion and he'll give Mark an award for that suggestion. He told Gary to send him an awards and send Bobo that worst caller award for worst caller on all radio of all time.
Howard asked Bobo if he knows all of his awards are a joke. Bobo said he got those awards and they're meaningful. Howard said they mean nothing just like that other postal worker said they are. Shuli said his passion for this show was that lifestyle before this show. He said anything he got was a big deal. Howard asked if they give an award for having the most awards. Bobo said no.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the job is the worst job known to man. He said the only person who gets an award is someone who is a suck ass. He said Bobo is full of shit. The caller said he was a letter carrier. He said the guy who was the vehicle operations manager is a kiss ass. He said that's who Bobo is. He said that the job was awful. Shuli said he believes this guy because every postal worker talks like that. He said they all say you had to be a brown noser to get those awards. Howard asked if they just do it to get the kids going like in kindergarten. The caller said it's more like nursery school.
Bobo said these guys hated them because they had air conditioning in their trucks. The caller said the highlight of his day was getting robbed at gun point. Howard let that guy go a short time later.
Howard had a caller who claimed to be the head of the postal service to give Bobo an award. He gave Bobo the award of the September 17, 2018. It's just for being alive on this day. He said he'll have to get it today or he'll get the Tuesday, September 18th award. He said this is a little more prestigious than the ''You have skin and teeth'' award. Howard had Bobo make an acceptance speech. Bobo said he'll put it up and prominently display it on his wall. The guys goofed on him about the way he tried to say prominently. Then Bobo got an award for saying words.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he ran into Bobo at a flea market and he was selling pictures of guys on the show. Shuli said he doesn't think that's right because he's done an investigation about that. Bobo said he doesn't sell anything. He said he give stuff away. Shuli said that's not true because he sold the tickle chair.
Bobo said he has to thank Shuli for doing all of this work. Howard said he's doing all of this work to discredit Bobo's awards. Bobo said he's doing a lot of work though. Shuli said he's been speaking to a lot of people in relation to this story.
Howard let Shuli go and hung up on Bobo. Howard said that they have to give awards to everyone there for making suggestions. Robins said Bobo was the only one putting suggestions in. Howard played a ''Worst Caller of All Time'' award bit about Bobo. They went to break after that.
Howard said he's actually the King of All Media. He said he gets off on people knowing who he is. He said there's no joy in wallowing in no one knowing you. He said that he had that in Detroit when he was there. He said he was constantly picked apart. He said he was a nobody in school. He said he was like a guy in prison. He said he was just one of the inmates. He said it drives him crazy when his wife tells him stories about being paid to take her picture. He said she loved high school because it was so great. He said she loved it. Howard said she was homecoming queen and all of that.
Howard said that's the bizarro world to him. He said he tries to relate to it. He said her brother was the star basketball player and her other brother was a star football player. He said they were in the paper all the time.
Howard said they were in the real newspaper with all of that. He said she had a great time in her life. Howard said he can't brag about anything he did. He said he couldn't wait to get out. He said no one liked him. He said they didn't dislike him. He said he was the invisible man. He said the principal didn't know him. He said he didn't even know the guy's name. He said he went home and didn't tell his parents about the beatings he took. He said his whole life was a nightmare. He said he's so happy he got famous. He said he should have been famous a lot earlier. He said life is a kick in the teeth when you're not famous. He said he's starved for attention. He said his audience filled in for his lack of parenting.
Howard said the audience is his friend. He said they fill the black hole inside his body. He said that hole gets filled a little bit. He said it's the best thing he can get. He thanks you for your attention.
Howard said a psychiatrist would say that it's not a good kind of attention to get. He said you've never had it though.
Howard said Fred has told him some dark stuff about his life. He said it's so horrible and dark and whatever you think you have in your life is nothing compared to Fred's life. He said you've got nothing on Fred. He said Anne Frank had it better than Fred. Fred said that's a good one. He said he was going to say no one but that's good.
Howard said Fred had a dark life. He said Anne Frank had a few good years until the Nazis fucked it up. Robin said she felt that people were good way down deep. Howard said Fred had it bad.
Speech Impediment Man asked if Beth is friends with Julie. Howard said she thinks she's the luckiest woman on the planet. He said she's now Beth Moonves. Howard made up more questions that Speech Impediment Man could ask.
Howard said the reason he thinks Letterman is better than Carson is because Letterman was real. He said he was critical of his bosses. He said some of his interviews were legendary too. He said he had on Harvey Pekar and people like that. He said Dave also remade late night. Howard came up with more ridiculous questions for Speech Impediment Man to ask and let him go.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he fractured his skull in 3 places and it's really tough for him to stay on point. Howard asked what happened. The guy said he was on Ambien and he may have fallen down the steps. He said that he was up for a month at a time without sleep so that's why he was on the Ambien.
Howard said he used to complain about not being able to sleep so his mom would say just lay there. Howard said if you don't sleep for a week then just lay there. He said this guy fell down the steps and he cracked his skull. The caller said it happened in London, Ontario. He said that they had to operate on his brain. He said he has no short term memory and his wife's birthday is coming up. He said he wanted some advice about what to do for her. Howard said you do the best thing you can do for her. He said you change her last name to Moonves. Howard said the most thoughtful gifts are just listen and give them something they mention. He said just do that. He said some women like it if you go down on them and lick their clitoris a lot. The caller said he does that.
Howard asked what she's like. He asked if he listens to her. The caller said he thinks that she'd like him to get back on his feet again. Howard said forget that. He said they don't have that. The caller said he is walking. Howard said you want to buy her a gift so listen to her and hear her say something about some place she wants to go. Howard said the best gift he ever got his wife was because he paid attention. He said she likes online shopping. He said when she wasn't over her shoulder he saw the site she likes. He said on her birthday he got in touch with the site and got her on a list. He said he was paying attention to her and listening to her. He said you have to put some thought into it like that. He said you hear wind chimes from Robin you get her wind chimes. He said that's what he got Robin even though he's not into wind chimes.
Howard said you have to pay attention to your wife. The caller said that he has trouble remembering. The caller said Howard has the best advice ever. Howard said to let him know how it goes. Fred asked if she likes Gotham as Speech Impediment Man. He suggested he get his wife a DVD set of the show. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard read some email about how Robin is saying the word ''water'' as ''warter.'' Howard said he doesn't hear that. Robin said it just fine when he asked her to say it.
Howard had some email about Brent on the show. He said that someone said they like Bobo better than Brent. Howard said there are a few people with negative Brent comments.
Howard said people were upset with the woman who called in to talk about her date with JD. Howard had a few that he read through about that woman.
Howard said someone wrote in about his Pat Robertson bit they did. Howard said that some people were upset with High Pitch Erik for getting a medical marijuana card. He read one where someone said they feel he's going to gain his weight back. Howard had Erik on the phone so he talked to him about that. Erik said he hasn't gained any weight back. He said he's lost like 100 pounds. Erik said he called Shuli last night and he was so out of it. He said he was in another world. Howard said he somehow gets that medical marijuana. Howard asked if he has decreased the amount of medications he's on. Erik said he is off his blood pressure and diabetic medications.
Erik said he wanted to give that head injury guy a tip. He said his tip would have been to go on Amazon and buy jewelry for his girlfriend. Howard said that's a typical thing. Erik said he could put her name on it and she'll love it. Howard said Erik is thinking. He said he needs a girlfriend or a weatherman or something.
Erik said that Mariann's birthday is today and he said to her that even though she's 60 he wants to fuck Howard more than her because he loves Howard more. Howard said what a fucking charming guy. Erik said Howard is more attractive. Howard said what a nice thing to tell Mariann.
Howard asked if Erik just competed in a falafel eating contest. Erik said he did that a few weeks ago. He said he only had 10 of them. Howard asked what they are. Robin said it's like a meatball but it's not meat. Howard asked how he eats 10 if his stomach is stapled. Erik said it was only 10.
Gary said there's something going on with him. He said his weight was plummeting but it's been at 287 for like a month now. Howard asked how big it is. Erik said it's like the size of a meatball. He said the winner ate like 50-60. Howard asked why he would enter. Gary said he ate 10 falafel and a bunch of other things like a chocolate vegan shake. Howard asked if he popped his staples. Erik said he had a healthy lunch after that. Howard said he thought he was following his diet.
Howard said he ate all of that food and then had lunch. Erik said he didn't have lunch that day. He said that this was a few weeks ago. Gary said he claims he didn't have fast food but a listener saw him in Burger King. Erik said that was in April. He said that was when he moved to this apartment. He said it was right down the block.
Gary asked what he had at burger King. Erik said he had two fish sandwiches and a chocolate shake. Gary said he had a value meal which was also onion rings and a drink. Howard said he's going to be fat again. Erik said he's not.
Howard asked what happened to drinking a lot of water. Erik said he's still doing that. He said the vegan shake is healthy. Howard said it's all calories. He said the vegan shake doesn't have sugar. He said it has soy milk. He said it has no artificial flavoring in it. Robin said it probably has bananas in it. Erik said he's not sure what it has.
Gary said he's still 289 pounds. He said he likes how they were saying he was going to get fat again. Erik wanted to come in to get weighed. Howard said no.
Howard said Erik's staple is on the phone. The guy was grunting saying he can't hold it anymore and there's going to be falafel everywhere. Then he exploded.
Howard said the cookie Oreos are vegan. Howard said there is no dairy in them. He said it's fattening. He said it's a lot of calories. He said that you have to worry about that stuff. Erik asked if he's going to be off for Yom Kippur. Howard said they're going to be there. He said he's very Jewy and pro-Israel but they're not taking off. He said if he's not going to a temple then what's the point?
Howard said as a kid he did all of the religious training but it was miserable. He said you had to sit there asking God to forgive him. He said how about someone get him out of this nightmare he's in. He said that he wanted someone to notice him or have his parents ask him how he'd doing. He said then they'd go home and his mother would be starving. He said his father would yell at her that she can't eat until Sunset. He did his mother and father's voices talking about that. He had his mom talking about how she had no mother and how she was an orphan. He said she had told him this story before. He said she'd tell him this story that he had heard before. He said that his father had no kind of life. He lived in a room with his sisters. He had no privacy. Howard had his mom telling them about how she was shipped off and had only one pair of underwear. Howard said this is what his life was.
Robin said this seems like it was a sad life. Howard said it was a hard life. He had his mom talking about that and how he has nothing to complain about. Howard said they will be there on Wednesday. He said if he's not observing then why would he take off?
Howard said his father had a weird accent when he'd speak Hebrew. Fred played clips of someone blowing the shofar. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said he's not a big organized religion guy. Robin said she isn't either. Howard said he will feel guilty about it. He said he thinks that God may write down his name in a book. Robin asked if God is still using books when there are computers? Howard did more of his mother's voice talking about that God stuff. Howard said to this day he still believes it a little bit. He said that he can't handle not eating so he has to eat something.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves Howard and wants him to be on radio but he should take this one off. Howard said they did for years but he feels it would be hypocritical. He said years ago he would take off and they would do stuff with the kids. He said he's not doing that anymore. He said he will be there and if you want to go not eat then do what gets you through the day. The caller told him to definitely talk to ''him'' this year. He said they're going through revelations. Howard hung up on the guy. Howard went back into his mother's voice talking about how everything is so hard. He said suffering is his heroin. He said he was going to get to some anchorman fuck ups but he'll do that tomorrow. He said he has to get to the PornHub awards too.
Robin started the news with a story about Governor Cuomo who won against Cynthia Nixon in the primary. Howard said he doesn't mind Cynthia but she had no experience. He said she has done some things. Robin said Amy Schumer did an endorsement to the Cynthia Nixon campaign but then she thought about it and she didn't think she would know what to do when she got to Albany. She said you have to be able to strike deals with the legislature and all of that. Robin said that she said she had to go with Cuomo.
Robin asked if Howard is obsessed with Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. Howard said yes. He said he loves that Ariana Grande. He said she sings beautifully and she's hot. He said god bless Pete too. He said he would get engaged too. Robin said she was asking because her last boyfriend of 2 years killed himself or had an overdose like a week and a half ago. Robin said that his name was Mac Miller. Robin said that she's mourning him of course. Robin asked what you do as Pete. Howard said Pete has to be secure and you just say it's okay. He said she spent a lot of time with the guy. Howard said guys who control women don't want them to mourn. He said you have to let people be people. He said if one of Beth's former boyfriends was a singer and he said then he'd fuck her to one of his songs. Robin said that Ariana said she's listening to two of Mac's new songs. She had Howard play the clips.
Howard said he'll show Robin what he would do if he was Pete. He acted out what it would be like if she was listening and Pete asked if he can finger her to that. He let the song play and said that misery loves company and penis. Howard said that Ariana Grande is a catch. He said she's hot and if she wants to grieve for her boyfriend he'd be right at her side. He said he'd only worry about guys who are alive, not dead guys. He said he'd fuck her right on that guy's tombstone. Howard said this kid knows what he's doing. Robin said she hopes so. Howard said he wouldn't care if in bed she called him Mac Miller. He said he'd be fine with that. Howard said he'd be into whatever she's into. He said she's a catch. He said Pete knows what he's doing. He said that she's a major catch. He said Pete knows he has a good thing. He said he's there for her no matter what. He said use your fucking head. He said this is a message to all men and women out there. He said appreciate what you have. He said he could never get a girl like Ariana Grande in high school. He said she has the face of an angel. He said there's nothing wrong with her face. He said he used to jerk off to girdle ads. He said not anymore. He said that she's grieving so Pete is just going to go along with it. Howard said he'd go listen to music with a girl and they'd do nothing but listen to music. Howard said one girl said that she was leaving him for a guy who had a bigger penis. Robin said Howard is a mess.
Howard said this guy Pete Davidson hit the lottery. He said he even said that in an interview. He said he's all for this guy. Howard said Pete deserves an award. Robin said alright already.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to say he's so spot on. He said you have to get this message out more and more. He said Pete was on Faction Talk a couple of weeks ago about some guy tearing him down. He said when he hears about all of this Mac Miller stuff he's going to go nuts. He said Howard's advices is the right thing. Robin asked if he's going to be in more sketches this year on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he'll probably be in every sketch.
Howard said the guys at Saturday Night Live are dating superstars. He said Colin Jost is dating Scarlett Johansson. He said Norm was talking about how they were afraid of all of these celebrities. He said these guys have figured it all out.
Robin read a story about the Emmys being on tonight and Colin Jost and Michael Che will be hosting. Robin said they say that Les Moonves was not invited to the Emmys. That led to Howard doing his Les and Julie voices for a short time. Robin read about some of the shows that are up for Emmy awards. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who said that Howard is right about Pete and Ariana. He asked how long they'd last in a marriage though. Howard said a lifetime. He said that she's very young looking and she'll stay that way even into her 40s. Ralph said she'll probably be like Beth. Howard said she'll look great. Robin said she's going to have a couple of kids and you never know what will happen after that. Howard said she's having a great life and she'll have a good run. Ralph said that Pete has a lot of options and Chris Rock said that you're only as faithful as your options. Howard told Ralph to go get a girlfriend.
Robin read a story about Sun Yi speaking out in an article. Robin said that she talks about how she hated Mia Farrow. She said that she hated her on sight from the day she came to adopt her at the age of 5. Robin told Howard about some of the other things she talks about in this article. Robin said she claims that the adopted kids were all treated like domestics. Howard said he would think he hit the lottery if he was adopted by Mia Farrow. Howard said they were living in the lap of luxury. He said he'd just sit there and eat even if the other biological kids were treated better. Robin said she also says that she was hit with a hanger. Howard said he was hit by his mother too. Robin said Sun Yi says that Mia called her a moron and other names. She claims she had something porcelain thrown at her. Robin said she hated Woody on first sight too. Robin said she said when she was 11 Woody would comfort her and then they started hanging out more. Robin said that he had been hanging out with her a lot at that age. Robin said he was hanging out with her like someone to date. Robin said he called it a ''fling'' when they started with the romantic thing. Robin had more details from that story and she claims that Dylan was never assaulted like she claims she was.
Robin read a story about the new iPhone. Howard said he has already ordered one. He said he decided he wanted it. Robin asked what tipped him over. Howard said they went to a bigger screen which he likes. He said he likes a manly size screen. He said the camera is better. He said he does use that to take pictures for his paintings. He said it has more storage. He said it has longer battery life. He said those things were enough for him to invest in a new iPhone. Robin said they say the larger one is too big for some women's hands. Howard said it's a substitute for his penis. Robin said it may be too big for some men's hands. Howard said he's getting the bigger one. He said they do have a smaller one. He said it has better sound too. He said he watched Black Panther on his iPad and he loved it. Robin read more details about the new iPhone XS and XS Max. Robin said the max will be the largest iPhone ever. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about President Trump going to visit areas affected by hurricane Florence. Robin said 17 deaths are blamed on the hurricane. She said rescue efforts are going on down there but they're still worried about flooding even after the storm is moving away. Robin said there's lots of devastation going on down there. Robin said a lot of people don't have flood insurance there either. Howard said he thought Pat Robertson was going to pray the hurricane away. Robin said maybe he did and pushed it toward other areas.
Robin read a story about Paul Manafort copping a plea with Robert Mueller. Robin said that this has made people wonder about what might be going on. Robin said Ken Starr commented on that. Robin said that kind of thing can lead to finding other things that could have gone on. Robin said Ken Starr is saying this investigation could go anywhere now. She had some audio of Starr talking about that. Robin had some audio of Alan Dershowitz saying that they're doing things too late and Manafort should have made a plea deal before this and Trump should have pardoned him already. Howard did a Bill Clinton impression during that segment. He kept it going for a few minutes.
Robin read a story about a camel that went wild at a circus and injured 6 kids an adult. Robin about what happened there. Robin said it started bucking and the kids were falling off during a ride. Howard was still doing the Bill Clinton impression during that story. He kept referring to his jizz as ''Whitewater.''
Robin read a story about a 69 year old man becoming a dad. Howard was still in his Bill Clinton impression saying that's great. Robin said that Richard Gere is having a child at 70. Howard said he should have cum on her dress instead. Robin said he had the child blessed by the Dalai Lama. Robin said the Dalai Lama has also said he has known about Buddhist teachers sexually abusing people for many years. Robin read some more details about that.
Robin read a story about a fatal shark attack in Cape Cod. Robin said a 26 year old man died after an attack. She said he was wave jumping and he was attacked by a shark. Robin said they got him out of the water and an ambulance rushed him to the hospital but an hour later he was declared dead. Howard said that's fucked up. Robin said it's the first fatal attack in 80 years. Robin said it's the second time a person has been attacked in Cape Cod. Robin read a story about how the shark may have mistaken the man for a seal.
Robin read a story about Carrie Underwood making a revelation on Sunday Morning on CBS. Robin had some audio of Carrie talking about how she had a few miscarriages over the past couple of years. Howard's Bill Clinton said she just needs some of his Whitewater. Robin said she's now happily pregnant and expecting her second child.
Robin read a story about a young boy who was old enough to drive and he was going down the street and saw a purse in the middle of the street. Robin said he stopped and took it into his car and went home. Robin said they found $10,000 in the purse. Robin said the boy turned it in and it has been returned to the owner. Robin said the boy was asked what made him do it. She had audio of the kid saying that he thinks if everyone did the right thing then the world would be a better place. Howard asked who has that kind of money in their purse and loses it? Robin said it was returned and the boy received a reward.
Robin read a story about Tom Arnold and Mark Burnett getting into a confrontation at some pre-Emmy event. Robin said that he's got that show where he's investigating Trump. Gary said he thinks it starts this week. Robin said he got into a shoving match with Mark who he thinks has tapes of Trump. Gary said JD was telling him that the first episode is all about Howard and how he didn't release the Trump tapes. Howard said they're all on the web. He said he told Tom that. He said all of his tapes are on the radio. He said they don't tape off the air. Howard said when he was there he was in the green room searching for tapes. Gary said Jason just told him the first episode is called The Howard Stern Files.
Robin read a story about Matthew Perry being in the hospital for 3 months. Howard asked what's wrong with him. Robin said he's been having a rough go of it after he had surgery for a gastrointestinal perforation. Robin said they wish him well and hope he gets better soon. Howard said that's terrible.
Robin read a story about the remake of The Predator. Robin said it's a reboot that opened with a $24 million box office. Robin said that it was number 1 but it wasn't a great opening. She said it cost $88 million to make. Robin said it will have to work hard to recoup the costs. Robin read about the other top box office movies and wrapped up her news. Howard ended the show around 11:25am. Both Robin and Howard signed off with Moonves as their last names.
Howard started the show talking about starting the show before his coffee wears off. He said it's all gone about 2 commercial breaks in. He said it drains out during the live commercial reads.
Howard said he's not into doing the show today. He said he's not sure what to talk about. He said he watched a good hour of the Emmys and they didn't even mention Les Moonves. He said it's about Television and you'd think they'd bring it up. He said they talk about the #MeToo thing but they don't bring up Les. Robin said he's still powerful in some way. She wondered where that comes from. Howard said it's like during World War II with Hitler. He said people were afraid to talk about him because they were used to it. He said they didn't make one joke about Les on the Emmys. He said he was uninvited 24 hours from the time it aired and there wasn't one joke.
Howard said he's not sure what's going on. He doesn't care about anything. He said he's just glad he has a radio show where he can come and talk about anything. He said it's happening and the whole world is changing. He said they're not changing but they're talking about it.
Howard said then he was reading in the paper that Julie Chen resigned from The Talk. He said then you wonder why they don't talk about this stuff on The Talk. He said he's shocked that Sharon doesn't talk about this stuff. He said that she's the one who would do that. Robin said they'd have a 50 rating if she talked like she talks in there. Howard said Julie is starting her own show called ''I don't talk about anything involving my husband.''
Howard said he's going to do a 2 minute puppet show to put on the app. Robin said this isn't something Julie wanted to do. She wasn't envisioning not being a part of it. Howard said this is for the app so you can watch it on the app. He said he could do them after the show but he's not staying longer than he has to.
Howard said Betty White was on the Emmys and she's finally acting her age. He said she started to talk and no one knew what she was talking about. He said they should have 50 year olds playing older people. He said when a real old person comes out and they can't talk it's depressing.
Robin said she saw Cher on some show. She said she has a new album of Abba songs so she's out promoting it. She said that she looks like Cher. Howard said she looks good. Robin asked how she does it. She said she must have a secret. Howard said she's 70 something and she looks good. Robin said you never see her walking anywhere.
Howard played a clip of Betty White talking. He said he loves her like everyone does. He said she used to be witty and funny. He said he keeps saying he's going to retire but he may not. He said he may keep working and he'll come in one day like this. He said the guys will all lie to him and tell him he's still funny. He said the show will be funny for a whole other reason. He said you'll barely be able to understand him. He said he used to goof on Imus and he'll become Imus. Robin said Imus didn't leave on his own.
Howard played a clip of Betty White talking on the Emmys. She was making some joke that she kind of stumbled over. Howard said he thinks she was making sexual innuendo there. He said when you get old you lose your super powers. Robin said her voice sounds like it's going. Howard said her timbre is gone. He did his father's voice when he said that.
Howard played more of Betty White talking and she wasn't able to get her thoughts out. Howard said she gave him hope that he could be in his 90s and be sharp as a tack. He said then she pulls this. He played more of her bit and she was sounding really old.
Howard said she's such a sweet woman. He said that she went to prom with Ronnie. He said he hopes he's in as good a shape as she is at 90. Robin said someone was on Bill Maher this week saying that the average lifespan is 70.9 or something. Howard said his dad is 94. He said he doesn't put them on the air anymore and there's a reason why. He did his impressions of the two of them. He said his mom used to be kind of positive but not anymore. He said everything is deadly. He said when he calls he wants to hang himself after. He said he can't take it.
Howard said he tries to be positive with his parents. He said it's tough. He said his mom is still getting up at 4 in the morning. He said she says it's not helping. He said if she got up later maybe it would be better. He said she's not into that.
Howard said it's just about how their friends are all dying or sick. He said it's no picnic being that old. Robin said her mom lived until she was 90 and she still had all of her senses. She said her body was starting to cave in though. She said she was still aware of everything going on with her body. She said she told her she didn't think she was going to make it to 100. Robin wondered why she would want to.
Howard said Betty White was the light at the end of the tunnel. He said then she came out last night. Howard said she did fine. He said he just got depressed. Robin said Michael Douglas is looking a lot like his dad. She said that he seems like he should sound like his dad.
Julie Puppet made a statement about how she's standing by her man. She said her eyes have been opened and she's standing by her man. Julie Puppet said she's going to start her own show called Don't Talk. She said they just stare at each other. She said that she's going to resign from The Talk and Lisa Ling will be sworn in as the Asian anchor person. Robin thought that was news. Howard said he's making it up.
Howard said Snoop Dogg was up there recording something for them and he heard him talking to the Julie Puppet and he thought it was him talking to some woman. Howard said he was just doing the Julie Puppet.
Julie Puppet was talking about fucking Les and how it got her through things when she knew he was the most powerful man in TV.
Robin asked Julie Puppet if she has had sex with Les since this started. Julie Puppet said she is Julie Chen Moonves and she stands by her husband. She said she wants to stand there to make sure he's not grabbing any women. She said she has to stand by her man even when he's old and creepy.
Julie Puppet said she has to resign from the show or face the truth. She chose to resign. Robin asked if she will ever be able to do any other show. Julie Puppet said she will just say she's Julie Chen Moonves when she's asked about her husband.
Robin asked how she's going to sign off when she leaves The Talk. She said she's going to sign off ''I'm Julie Chen Moonves.''
Howard got the Les Puppet and had him talk to Robin and Julie Puppet. Howard had Julie Puppet talking about how she's leaving because the women on The Talk are all turning on her. She said that the women who are accusing Les are all liars. She said that Sharon is a traitor too. Robin asked why. Julie Puppet said that her husband used to drink. Robin said she's being a coward. Julie Puppet said she's not. Howard had Les Puppet telling Julie Puppet what to say. Julie Puppet said that all of those women wanted her husband and they all flirt with him. She said even the doctors. She said everyone. Robin asked about the assistant who was asked to give a blow job on her first day. Les Puppet told Julie Puppet what to say and had her lying for him.
Robin asked if their son is going to school. Julie Puppet said they should go pay attn to him. Les Puppet said they'll tell him it was all lies. Julie Puppet said she's going to leave them with this question. She asked why a woman would go into her husband's office if she didn't want it. Robin said they didn't all happen in his office. Julie Puppet said if you go into an office with a man he's going to take off his pants and finger you at least. Robin said that has never happened to her. She said she's never been alone with Les though. Julie Puppet said she's standing by her man. She said it's smooth sailing from here.
Julie Puppet asked if Robin would ever go into a man's office alone. Robin said sure. Julie Puppet called her a whore. Robin asked what happened to women sticking together. Julie Puppet said she's leaving The Talk. She said men get boners and that's how the world works. She said don't go near men if you don't want to be raped.
Robin said she wants to go back to when Julie told her family that she was dating her husband. Les Puppet told her to come and drain his balls. Julie Puppet said she has to go do that. Julie Puppet said that they built a special internet for her parents and her son where her husband still runs CBS. She said they'll never know unless Robin tells them. Robin said that's an interesting idea. Robin asked if she minds draining her husband's balls. Julie Puppet said she's sticking by her man. Howard wrapped up the puppet show after that. He said Fred loves that. He said he's sitting over here drooling.
Howard said not one mention of Les last night on the Emmys. He said he must feel good about that. He said one thing about Les is that if you ridicule him enough then he'll cave. He said it's the worst thing in the world for him. He said he's probably the only one doing it. Robin said they must think that he's going to make a comeback. Howard said he's banking on him never coming back.
Howard said they went and asked black women what they think about Les Moonves. He said they asked if Julie Chen should stay with him. Howard played the clip of Sal asking women about that. Women were saying that they wouldn't stick with him. They were talking about how they'd be right out of there. Howard said the white women were standing by Julie's decision. He played a clip of the women talking about how they'd stand by their man like Julie is doing.
Howard said Larry King was out walking with his wife and he was asked what he thinks about Julie standing by her man. He said Larry was all for it. Howard said he didn't know what was going on. He said he's been married like 8 times. Robin said he found one who would stand by him. Howard played some audio of Larry being interviewed about the Julie and Les thing. Larry said that she is his wife. He said he doesn't like what happened 20 years ago with Les but she's his wife. Howard said he seems to think that if you're married to someone that you have to stand by your man. Robin said there are women who stood by their husbands when they were accused of murder. Robin said they have to go visit them in prison. Robin said there are women standing by their men for greater crimes.
Howard said lets say that all of the accusations are false except for the doctor. He said that the guy jerked off in front of the woman. He said that would make Robin leave. Robin said she would. Howard said Beth said she would leave if he did something like that. Howard said he wouldn't blame her for leaving. He said he'd push her out the door.
Howard said that story about the doctor is the weirdest one. He said he should be in a mental hospital. He said that's bat shit crazy. He said Les admitted to that one. He said the doctor must have wanted to get out of the business.
Howard played more of Larry and his wife talking about the Les and Julie thing. Larry started singing ''Stand by Your Man.'' Howard said if he did something like Les did with the doctor he knows that he'd hate for someone to see his penis. Robin said she has been through something like that. She said her mom stood by her father when he molested her. She said that she told her mom and she didn't leave. She said she got upset about it. Howard asked what she told her mom. Robin said she told her when she was in her 30s. Robin said she wasn't speaking to them. Her mom wanted to know why so she told her. She said they were only on letter writing terms so she wrote it down. Robin said she told her that she was 11 years old and dad would try to have his way with her when she would go out shopping. She said her mom wrote back saying she was so angry with him. She didn't leave him though.
Howard asked if Julie can fuck another guy. Robin said all bets are off at this point. Howard said he doesn't think she should even say that she's Julie Chen Moonves. He said that's so insulting to the victims. Robin said she wasn't Moonves before all of this but now that he's accused of all of this stuff she is.
Howard asked Robin about her mom and dad. Robin said she knew that her mom wouldn't leave. She said that her mom did accuse her of colluding with her father. She said that they got together and kept something from her. She said that's the way her mother was thinking. She said imagine her dealing with that at the age of 11.
Howard said Larry King is on the phone. He took the call from the guys who had audio clips of Larry saying wacky stuff. They had clips from an audio book that they had edited together. Howard said this must be a senile Larry King. He said he'll go with that premise.
Howard said one thing about Larry is he still has timbre. He let the guys keep playing clips of Larry saying the wacky stuff. Howard said this bit took like 17 hours to edit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is a staunch republican. He said he does believe that Les Moonves should be held accountable. He said that it should be held up by the law. Howard said the statute of limitations is up on all of that stuff. The caller said Les has a mental illness. Howard said if they're true he's as mental as Charles Manson. The caller said as much as he wants to play off the Julie Chen thing he thinks that he needs help. Howard said Les isn't going to go for any help. He said Julie should stand by him but the thing is that she said that Harvey Weinstein's wife should leave him. He said that's what he heard anyway. He said lets just talk about what they know. He said the whole idea of standing by your man is insulting to the 12 women who came forward. He said she should stand by her man if she wants to but if she makes a statement she should say she doesn't know the truth. He said she can stay with him and not comment on these women because they have a story to tell too.
Robin said she thinks that what should happen in a situation like this is a couple should go see a counselor and get to the truth so you can see who you're standing by. Howard said there you go. Fred played Robin's news music. Howard said that's how you know she made a point.
Howard said maybe tomorrow he can have a therapy session with Les Puppet and Julie Puppet. He did the voices for a minute as a preview for that.
Howard said he's off the Les and Julie thing now. He said the Emmys should have spent more time on it. Robin said that Harvey Weinstein must have been mentioned after his thing. Howard said there must have been some jokes about him.
Howard and Robin talked about how distracting Fred can be when you see him making faces and stuff. Howard said it was very hard working with Fred when he first met him. He said they didn't have this technology back then. He said he's going to put the wall back up now. It was very slow but Howard said this is what Trump wants to do with the immigrants. Howard said this was not cheap either just like the Trump wall. Howard said he may never take that screen down again. He let the caller go after that.
Howard said when he got there in 2006 he told the company that he wanted them to become more than just audio. He said the company listened even though he wasn't the only one saying it. He said now they have done video and they're more than they used to be. He said they can now show you what's happening in the studio. Howard asked if he should take a break. Fred said absolutely. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard said he knows every member of Bachelor in Paradise but not the names of the people in this band. He said that's just wrong. Howard let the song play and said they'll just enjoy this. He said this takes practice and discipline. He said they've been working at this their whole life. Howard told Fred to turn it off. He said it's making him ill.
Howard said he once had an egg thrown at him at a bar. He said he was working in Detroit and he was forced to go out and do appearances. He said this kid who thought he was a punk threw an egg at him. He said he got the fuck out of there. He said he didn't want to be doing that stuff. He said the Program Director said they had low ratings and they had to do everything like that. He said he's not sure why they had eggs at a bar. He said they had them there to throw at people like him.
Howard said Lady Gaga was on the show talking about being famous for being an artist and being famous for just being famous. He said an artist is a transformational thing. He said other people like the Kardashians don't do anything. He said Ronnie is famous but he's famous for driving.
Howard said speaking of Ronnie he did this appearance on a show about a month ago. He said he's not sure if he's taking acting lessons or what but he sounds better. He said Benjy should go take lessons from this person. He said he was on ''Investigation Discovery The Perfect Murder.'' He said they must have thought it would be funny to get Ronnie into the show. Howard had him come in to set it up.
Ronnie came in and said that someone he knew got him into the show. Howard said he's kind of subdued in the show. Ronnie said he was playing a high roller guy from Vegas. He said he was told to act like that. Howard asked if he's okay. Ronnie said that just wasn't the part. He said he was just getting into a limo with a hot chick. He said that he had cut a lot more and they cut it out. He said he wasn't yelling in that though. Howard said they must be talking to Ronald the Actor now. Ronnie said it's not.
Howard asked how long he was on set. Ronnie said maybe an hour and a half. He said it was quick. He said he memorized lines. He said they had him in a lobby but they cut that scene out. He said the show is about true stories taken from real cases. He said they reenact the whole thing. He said they put hot chicks in it too. Howard asked if a hot chick was murdered. Ronnie said the hot chick was a limo driver. He said she was accused of murder. He said he was just a guy she picked up to take the airport. Howard said this hot chick is driving him to the airport. Ronnie said they weren't sure if she was involved in it at that point. Ronnie said he was just a customer. Howard asked if he has no fucking clue. Ronnie said he knows what happened. He said he was a character that had nothing to do with the murder. He said a lot of people saw it. He said it was on already. Howard said he wants to go home already. He said he's exhausted. Howard said he's just had it. He said he's questioning his life. He asked what he's doing there. Ronnie said he does that too. He said he questions his life at times. He said he has a plan if they do move away. He said Stephanie is a Vet Tech. He said if they move there you can open a vet hospital and you can hire a doctor to work there. He said his plan is to go there and open this hospital and he'll run the business end of it. Howard laughed. Ronnie asked why that's funny. Howard said he's just thinking about how it'll go. He said Ronnie has done fine with his business. He was still laughing at Ronnie though.
Howard said he wants to meet the guy who went to medical school and answers to Ronnie. Ronnie said she'll be answering to Stephanie.
Howard asked Ronnie why he thinks he can run a business. Ronnie said he has done fine. Howard said he has a security business and his only client is him. Ronnie said he had two dry cleaning business. He said he had a bread route too. He said then he had the limo business before Howard. He said that was 6 ears before Howard. Howard said Ronnie thinks he can run a hospital. Ronnie said he's not going to run it. He said he'll do the billing and stuff like that.
Howard said Ronnie has been in a bunch of movies and TV shows now. He asked what about Mund Water or Mund steaks like Trump had. Ronnie said he wants to ''chill back.'' He said he will only have to work a few days a week. Howard said he only works a few days a week now. Robin said he has a new phrase of ''Chill Back'' that he could put on a t-shirt.
Howard asked what's stressful in his life. Ronnie said he's just tired. Howard asked why he would open a hospital if he's stressed. Ronnie said it'll be a whole different thing there. Howard said he sees his scene as being fantastic. He said there will be chicks and strip clubs. He asked what he's going to do out there in Vegas. Ronnie said he has friends there. He said it's just a new life out there. Robin asked what's wrong with this place. Ronnie said it's just time to move on. He said that will happen in a few years probably. He said he'll come back to visit his grand kids. He said people do it all the time.
Howard said in the hospital business you can't call people cunts. He said you have to get rid of that naked chick Twitter feed too. Ronnie said he'll get rid of it. He said he'll be in the background in the office. He said no one will even see him.
Gary asked if he's going to be handling the correspondence and the billing. Ronnie said yes. Howard said imagine that. He and Fred were doing their Ronnie voices talking about stuff going on in the office.
Ronnie said he's sorry this bothers everyone. Howard had Ronnie talking about having women showing their tits to get over their dog dying and stuff like that. Fred had him saying they can pay in blow jobs. Ronnie kept saying that he's sorry he has a plan.
Howard took a call from a woman named Destiny who said that Ronnie is a good businessman. She said he knows how to leverage assets. She said he put a $20 bill into her bikini at the strip club. Ronnie said she's pretty fucking hot. Howard said Ronnie knows what he's doing. Destiny said that he wears glasses and he's a genius. She said she learned that in 8th grade. Howard spent a few minutes talking to her about Ronnie's business acumen.
Howard said he didn't know that Ronnie was having a crisis. Ronnie said he's not. He said he just has a plan for when he leaves this place. Howard asked if he re-signs will he leave. Ronnie said he might. He said he's been thinking about it. Howard asked if this is because he's turning 69 next month and it's time to leave. Ronnie said he has been thinking about it. He said he has a young fiancee and he's not sure how many years he has left. He said he'd like to help her out and enjoy the rest of his life.
Howard asked what his character's name was in the TV show. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said it may have been Munt. He said he really didn't have a name. JD said he's listed as ''Paul'' on IMDB. Howard asked if that's what it was. Ronnie said they must have given him his name after he did the part. Fred said he was ''Guy with Boner.''
Howard said Ronnie was being driven by a hot woman. Ronnie said she was very hot. He said she wasn't really friendly with anyone there. He said she was kind of snobby. Howard asked if she had a chip on her shoulder. Ronnie said he's not sure about that. Howard said he thinks that when a chick doesn't know him from the show then it's hard for him. Ronnie said he was just trying to have a conversation with her. He said he was only with her for 15 minutes. He said she had a mini skirt on.
Howard asked if he rehearsed with her. Ronnie said he did in the car. Ronnie said that Joe the Cop plays a bartender in the show. Howard asked what kind of production this is. Ronnie said they just get people to play the parts. He said Joe was actually really good. Howard said Ronnie is rating people now. Ronnie said Joe has been playing a lot of parts in those kind of shows. He said that's how he came to get the part.
Howard said that Joe told him that Ronnie is his best friend. Ronnie said he knows. He said he calls him his adopted brother. Howard said that rocked him when he told him that. Howard said he did say that Ronnie is a good dude. He said then Joe told him about losing all of his weight. Ronnie said when you see him in the shows he's not thin yet. Howard asked if Joe is his best friend too. Ronnie said he doesn't see him all that much but he is his best friend. He said you can always count on the guy. Howard said Joe is his best friend too. He said he sees him rarely and he never lets him down.
Howard said that Ronnie should consider him his best friend. He asked who has treated him better than he has. Ronnie said he does think he's his friend. Howard said Ronnie said he never sees Joe. Ronnie said he never sees Howard either. Howard asked Ronnie to pick between the two of them if they were on a boat and he could only save one. Ronnie said that Joe is big enough to float. He said he'd save Howard because he can't float. Howard asked him to be serious. Ronnie was going to pick Joe so Howard said he should fire everyone. He said he should save him. He said he'd have to pick him over Stephanie too. He said he'll get him another woman even hotter.
Howard said he loves Joe and he's a good dude. He said he should save him though. He said Fred would let his whole family drown over him. He said he's the most loyal guy there. He said that these guys here don't think of him to save. He said he doesn't even question it. Howard said he's disgusted with Ronnie. Howard said Gary would save Mary and his kids over him. Ronnie said ''drownding'' so Howard goofed on him about that.
Howard said he should play this clip. He said Ronnie's acting was passable in this. He said they're in a limo and this hot chick is driving. Howard played the clip of Ronnie doing his thing. Howard said he might be better than the chick in the scene. He said he was good. Ronnie said he had to say his line a bunch of times. He said he tried different styles. Robin asked how many ways he saw his character. Ronnie asked what she's talking about. Howard said congratulations to him over that. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard said he heard Ronnie has been checking out the real estate out in Vegas already. He said he goes out there and has a good time for a day or two but he's never lived out there. He said the reality is this isn't a well thought out plan. He said he thinks that things will be better for him out there. He said he'll still be Ronnie but in Vegas.
Jason said that Ronnie gets to hang with his rich friends out there. Howard said he goes to Kurt Busch's house out there. Gary said Ronnie is yelling really loud out there. Howard said he thinks he's going to live like Kurt. Jason said he's going to have to live in a shack out there attached to the clinic.
Howard said they took some of Jeff the Drunk's calls to them and made a phony phone call to an internet radio show. Howard played the phony call and they had Jeff asking the hosts when they made their bed and what their favorite color was. The host said that he sounds kind of wasted. They told him to cut back on the sauce a bit. Then the guys called back in with clips of Jeff yelling at them saying that he's never calling the show again. They had Jeff cursing him out and hanging up on them. They called back in again and had Jeff telling them that he's never calling the show again. The host told him he just called in six times that night. They were going off on Jeff about his dopey calls.
Howard played a ''Bad News, Good News Radio'' bit. Howard said he loves that. He said he's a big fan of that channel.
Howard said people liked Shuli's investigation into Bobo in the email. He read some of the mail he got about that. He had some positive mail about Bobo in there too.
Howard said people liked that so people are turning around. Howard had Bobo on the phone and he said this is unusual so he's not used to it. He said he's just going to do what he does. He said he's passionate for the show and for his safety. Howard said Bobo is taking it very well that he now has fans.
Howard said he's sure Bobo has an agenda today. He asked what his question is. Bobo asked what he thinks about Jimmy Fallon going out to dinner and some fans were there and they didn't bother him while he was eating so he picked up the tab. He asked if that's too much. Howard said that Bobo has called the call screener with that for the past 2 weeks. He said the story is old. He said yesterday he was on with the Shuli investigation. He said today he calls in with that. He said for 2 weeks he didn't pick up on Bobo and then yesterday he called in for the Shuli thing. Howard asked if he has that question in a book or something. Bobo said he holds on to it. Howard said that story was from August. He just sticks with it. Howard asked what rating he gave that question. Bobo said he gave that a green or go. Gary said he called Shuli asking what's going on after Howard didn't pick up on him for a week and a half. Howard said he's not going to pick up for that question.
Bobo said he just wanted his thoughts on that. He wanted to know if he thought it was excessive. Bobo said Howard isn't going to pay anyone anything. Howard kept asking Bobo to give his thoughts on that question and even Bobo didn't have a good answer for him. Howard said no one cares. They played a song parody about Bobo's awful questions.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he drives a truck for a living and there is no way that Bobo drove a million miles without an accident. He said he wants to thank him for being an idiot. Howard said Bobo has a lot of fans.
Howard said he likes the E! channel better because they always have some gay guy fashion designer talking about how bad people look.
Howard said our society has become so snarky that everyone who accepts an Emmy looks embarrassed to win. He said the thing was that it was fun when they took it seriously. He said now you've become so used to the awards being meaningless. He said it really doesn't matter if you get one. He said if it does matter to you then you can't express it.
Howard said if you come out and accept an award saying you've been wanting one since you were a kid then you have people making fun of you. He said that it's not as much fun anymore.
Howard said what he did enjoy was the PornHub awards. He said this is their first award show. He said this is for professional porn. He said they have dudes who have big cocks shooting ropes or whatever. He said they held this a couple of weeks ago. He said they determined the winners based on what people were jerking off to. Robin said it's like the People's Choice of Porn. Howard said that's exactly what it's like. He said it was broadcast live on PornHub.com.
Howard said they had Kanye West design the trophies. He said the teleprompter kept breaking. He said the host was Asa Akira. He said she used to be on Bubba's show all the time. Howard played a clip of her reading the teleprompter and it kept cutting out.
Howard asked how that many people can be watching porn. She said it was like 31 billion people or something. Howard said there are only 7 billion people on the planet.
Howard said this is Porn Star Leila Starr presenting awards. He said they weren't able to get the microphone levels right so they were going up and down. Howard played another clip of the levels going up and down. Howard said he's not messing with that. He said Les Moonves should produce this. He said they need help. He said you don't hear productions like that anymore.
Howard said some of the winners took forever to get up to the stage. He said this one was 52 seconds. He played a clip of the 52 second wait. Howard said it was a good production. He said it was charming. Howard said they weren't even sure if she was there.
Howard played another clip of a winner being announced and not getting up there very quick. They didn't know if he was even there.
Howard said he loves that no one gave a shit about the production. He said no one cared about the award. JD said half the winners didn't even show up. Howard said that he didn't know that PornHub was the biggest porn site out there.
Howard said some people were upset about Julie signing off of Big Brother with Moonves. Julie signed off and said the evicted Big Brother roommate's name wrong. She said Brent and his name was Brett. Robin said they say that there's some speculation about how she may not return next season to Big Brother.
Howard read some more email about the show. He said someone just wrote in and said thank god for Howard's show. He said they got a whole bunch of things. He said someone wrote in and said that Sal pretends to be stupid but he's a genius.
Howard said he spent time talking about Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande and he got some feedback about that. He said he got a compliment for Robin about her comments about Serena Williams.
Howard said that he played some Pat Robertson clips the other day where he prayed the hurricane away from his area. He said that it didn't do any damage so he's taking credit for that. Howard played some audio of Robertson asking his followers to put their arms out and pray to keep the hurricane away from the CBN campus. Robin said the level of sincerity there is off the charts. Robin said that they should nominate these preachers for acting awards. Howard said this guy always sounds like he's pushing out a shit. He did his impression of Pat and played some clips of him pushing out his shit. Howard had Pat Robertson talking about how he wants a storm to hit the Tony awards instead. He was going on and on as Pat asking for ridiculous stuff. He wanted god to punish the Howard Stern Show for last year's Cocktober.
Howard said he's having a good time there. He asked if anyone is still tuned in. Robin said she tuned out.
Howard said the hurricane didn't hit the CBN campus and Pat took full credit for it. He played a clip of Pat talking about that and how they wrote that the storm took an ''odd turn'' and he was taking credit for that. Robin asked why he can't pray for the whole country instead of just his little area. Pat said this is a miracle.
Howard said god killed that infant in a trailer but he saved Pat and his followers. Howard played a clip of Pat talking about how they're in hurricane alley and it's only prayer that could have saved them.
Howard said this was good television. He said this reporter was on a local station and she was trying to talk to looters at a Dollar Store. Howard said the looters kept looting and didn't stop. Howard played a clip of the reporter doing her thing. Howard said if he's looting he's not looting the Dollar Store. He asked what they have in there, pretzels? Howard played the clip and people were just stealing stuff so the reporter was telling them that. The looters didn't stop.
Howard said she was just trying to be all brave. He said she's calling them out and they just keep going.
Howard said High Pitch Erik told him he bought steaks at a Dollar Store. He said they should have interviewed some of those guys about their free bubble gum. He said that's the worst of humanity looting. He said that the poor owner is selling cheap crap in there and not making a lot of money. He said the fact that this guy got dishes he can sell for a dollar and they're stealing is just wrong. He said the guy can't be doing much better than these looters.
Howard said this woman stood there telling people they were looting. He said that's what he would do if he was a reporter. He said he'd be the guy acting like he was getting blown around and acting like he's brave. He said that woman is lucky she didn't get hit with a bat. He asked what's more depressing than looting the Dollar Store. He said drop those Dollar Store stickers. Robin said they have those bolts of string there. She said you can get a bunch of them. Howard said the owner had to get that stuff for less than a dollar to sell it for a dollar. Howard said anything in that store is worth maybe 40 cents. He said he'd feel so bad he'd go protect the Dollar Store.
Howard said being the owner of that store has to be horrible. He said he's selling plastic wine glasses and crap like that. Howard asked how he's going to get back on his feet. He said it has to be tough to find cheap stuff to sell for a dollar. Howard said these people are risking going to jail to steal 3 water guns. He said they're getting 2 prong extension cords and crap like that.
Howard asked a looter to call in about what's going on that they have to loot a store like that. He asked what they could possibly be getting there that they need. He said maybe they got a Blackberry charger. Howard said fuck you. He said they have a box of 3 year old Junior Mints they stole.
Howard said he saw on the news that they arrested 5 people over that looting. He said they should really give them the electric chair over that. Howard said they used the video to track down those people who were looting. He said it's just a misdemeanor though. Howard said he cares about that. He said it's ridiculous. He asked what they got out of that store.
Howard said they should throw the book at those people who looted. He said that he has the owner of the store on the phone. He said he's completely devastated. He said they took the hula hoops and every flavor of Fritos. He said he's ruined. Howard said the margin of profit has to be very slim. Howard let him go and did a live commercial read. They went to break after that.
Howard said Tan Mom is going to say goodbye to them tomorrow. Fred played some clips of Tan Mom saying some wacky stuff.
Howard said he sees that Prince's estate ended up going to his brothers and sisters. He said he read that they all ended up with it. Howard said he thinks now they're running it and he can see they really understood Prince. Robin asked if it really matters. Howard said he sees that they sold ''Lets go Crazy'' to Capital One. Howard said they really understood the guy. Howard said he thinks people know how he thinks and they wouldn't do that to him. Howard asked if Prince wanted his stuff to be in a commercial. Robin said no. She said he was very protective of his music. Howard played the Capital One commercial that they played during the Emmys last night with the Prince song. Howard laughed as it played.
Howard said he thought about how that's exactly what Prince wanted. Robin said they're trying to figure out how to make every bit of money they can. Robin said you have to think about all of the money that Prince spent. She said it's like the Michael Jackson story. She said Prince was much easier to manage.
Howard said he thinks Prince would have been more of a Wells Fargo kind of guy. Robin said they're talking about a credit card and talking about going crazy. Howard said that's right. He said build up a lot of debt and see what happens. Howard said he didn't even know it was a credit card. Gary said he has it. He said you can use the points you build up for anything. He said it's kind of Prince's fault for not leaving someone in charge. Howard said he should have left him in charge. He said he seems to care more than his own family does.
Gary said he used his Capital One points to go on a vacation recently. He said he used the ''points eraser'' feature.
Howard said Prince had all kinds of rules in his life. He said he didn't want people even covering his songs. He said now he's dead and 3 weeks later they're using his music in a credit card commercial. He said Prince was all about this high and mighty shit and now Capital One owns his music.
Robin said the thing is that his family didn't know him. She said they had to go through a whole process of weeding people out to figure out who his family really was. Robin said they had to do DNA tests. Howard said he thought they were playing a Prince song to remind people of his death but then it was a commercial.
Howard said that's the wrong message for a credit card. Robin said she agrees. He said that they're telling people to go crazy with their card. Howard made up more things they could sell songs for.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had the same surgery that Erik had in July. He said they close off about 85 percent of your stomach. He said if Erik is eating 10 falafel then he's stretching it out and he's on his way back to 400 pounds. Howard said it's so screwed up. He said he's not sure if he learned his lesson. He said they tried to teach him. He let the caller go after he said he can barely eat a slice of pizza himself.
Howard said he has a little quiz to go through. He said he's never had to go through this site called Cameo where celebrities sell personalized videos to fans. He said High Pitch Erik has been doing that for years. He said he does that. Robin said she had no idea. Howard said he was browsing the videos and they're not doing anything different than Erik is.
Howard said he's going to name a celebrity and play the video greeting and Robin has to guess if it costs $100 or less.
Howard played a Perez Hilton video and asked Robin what she thinks that cost. Robin said less than $100. Howard said she's right. He said that it was $25.25.
Howard said you can get one from Kathy Griffin. He played one of her videos. Howard asked Robin what she thinks that would cost. Robin said less than $100. Howard said Kathy charges $500 for that so Robin is wrong.
Howard said he's so glad he's not on this site doing this. He asked if Kathy really has to do this stuff. Robin said he doesn't know her financial situation. Howard said maybe she had a downturn in her income.
Howard said Lance Bass can do videos for your kids. He played an example of one of his videos. Howard asked Robin what she thinks it cost. Robin said more than. Howard said he charges $150. She's right.
Howard said you can get a video message from Bam Margera. He said he didn't put much effort into his. Howard played his clip and asked Robin what that cost. Robin guessed it was less than 100. Howard said it was 40 bucks. Robin said he put about that much effort into it. Howard said for 40 bucks he'd put up with that.
Howard asked Robin if she wants to get into this business. Robin said it seems pretty lucrative. She said she might.
Howard said Marla Maples will do a message for you. He played a clip of her doing one of these messages. Howard asked Robin if that was more or less than $100. Robin said that has to be less than. Howard said she's right. It was $93. He said he's not sure how they came to that amount.
Howard said Tommy Lee does videos. Robin asked if it's the real Tommy Lee. Howard said it is. He said he did this one with a chick by the pool. He had his kid there saying something too. Howard asked Robin if it was more or less than $100. Robin said more. Howard said it was $250.
Howard said Carmen Electra will make them. He played an example. He asked Robin if it was more or less than $100. Robin said it's got to be less. Howard said it's $100 on the nose.
Howard said High Pitch Erik makes them. He played an example of him wishing someone a happy birthday. Robin said that has to be less than 100. Howard said it was $75.
Howard said Fred the Elephant Boy is on there but no one has bought one yet. Howard said he has an example up there but he hasn't sold one yet. He played the example. He said you'd think that would go like hotcakes. Robin said he should be paying you. Howard said it's $100 on the nose for one of those. Howard said it's not easy making those work.
Howard said that guy Balls who calls in is even on there. He played an example of his message. Howard asked what Robin thinks he charges. Robin said it has to be less than 100. Howard said it's another $100 on the nose.
Gary said Shuli was telling him that Erik used to do this in the past on his own and he'd ask people for some place to live with all of the email addresses he collected. He said that's the way he gets his rent.
Howard had Shuli come in to explain that. Shuli came in and said that Erik has been living in a new place for 5-6 months and it's on the beach. He said that it's beautiful. He said it's unbelievable. He said he had an apartment that had a toilet in the bedroom. He got thrown out of that place because of the web cam stuff. He said Erik moved to this new place and the guy bounced a check right out of the gate. He said that he has to move again now. Howard said the guy had to have put a down payment or something. Shuli said he got infuriated seeing where he's living.
Shuli said Erik sent out a email blast asking people if they have anywhere for him to live. Howard said he hopes that he finds something. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard said he was forced to do a Cameo video. He said he doesn't even understand that. Balls asked him a question about how long is the longest he's ever stayed up. Howard didn't bother answering. He let Balls go after that. He said that he stayed up on his trip there from Krypton. He said he loved that Superman's parents did that. He wondered how they did that. Robin said they were more advanced than we were. Howard said he would have jumped in that rocket instead of putting the kids in there.
Howard went through the story of Jor-El and why he came up with the idea to put Kal-El in the rocket. He said he's not sure how Supergirl got into her rocket. Robin said the other option was to die there.
Howard said that the other thing about Clark Kent is that Lois Lane was in love with Superman but he can't be with her until she loves him as Clark first. Howard said then he acts like the biggest douche. He said if he were Superman he'd like to think he would be neurosis free.
Howard said the super monkey was a stowaway on the ship. He said there was none of that in the original stories. He said there are too many holes in that story.
Jason said that they edited that into the Super Boy comic. Howard said he hated that. He said they had the monkey, horse and dog. He said there was even a cat that Supergirl had. He said fuck you to the super monkey. He said it's not fun.
Howard said how about Superrodent. He said he'd believe that something like that snuck into the rocket. He said maybe a Supercockroach.
Howard said his cousin Jack worked for DC comics and he drew all of the covers. He said he never remembers seeing a dog on the cover.
Howard asked Robin to start her news. Robin started off with a story about what makes a penis attractive to women. Howard said it's girth according to this article. He said he's not sure why he even read it. He said he remembers years ago when Jessica Hahn was in the news when she used to do the show she was dating Sam Kinison and she told him that he didn't have a long penis but it had girth like a beer can. He said he has neither girth or length. He said he just has a penis that's kind of there. He said he has 6 inches. Robin asked how big around it is. Howard said he's sure he picked up an inch by shoving it into his taint. Robin said they say that women aren't correct about if it's large and girthy. She said they give it extra proportion. Robin said she likes girth too. She said you want something that fills you up.
Howard asked if Robin has been with really thick men. Robin said she's had men who are the normal thickness. She said she's not sure about a beer can. Howard asked if she has been with a man who was particularly thin. Robin said she has. She said you just take what you can get.
Howard said his penis looks like it's anorexic. He said that's how he'd describe it. Robin said men get points for good grooming too. Howard said he used to shave it down but Beth may have thought something was wrong with him. He said she doesn't mind him having hair down there.
Robin read a story about how taking an aspirin a day might not be that good for you. Howard said he saw that story. He said he took the baby aspirin and had to stop doing it. He said it was making him feel bad. Robin said they say that if you're healthy it may not help. Howard said he can't do it. Robin said they say that if you're 70 and older and healthy then there may not be any benefits. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the first SpaceX space tourist. Robin said they have their first one and this guy has dreamt of going to space. Howard asked how much it's going to cost. Robin said they say this will happen in 2023. Robin read that the guy is worth $2.9 billion. Robin said they don't say how much the flight will cost. Howard did the math trying to figure out how far off it is. Howard said it's 2012 now... He didn't even have that year right. Gary said they said that it will cost around $72 million a seat. Howard asked if you land on the moon. Robin said no. She said you just circle it. Howard said he'd be afraid to go. He said he won't even go to Italy.
Robin said that she's thinking about this #MeToo movement and how they're going after these moguls. Robin said imagine you're being harassed and it's McDonald's. Howard said that's the point. Robin said workers at McDonald's are asking for the sexual harassment to stop and they're going to be protesting by striking today. Robin said they're striking in at least 10 cities. Howard said that has to be the worst job and getting sexually harassed here has to be awful. Robin said the strike will also be for getting better pay. Howard said he's going to fly to the moon. He said he can see it from his living room and he's sure it doesn't look any different up close.
Robin read a story about Page Six having these insiders telling them about Julie Chen resigning from The Talk. Howard said even if it's made up he loves it. Robin said they say that Julie is completely behind Les. She's all in. Howard asked what that means. Robin said it may mean that she's not questioning him. Howard said he's not sure if she is not believing the 12 women or just backing up her husband. Robin said she thinks that she doesn't believe the women. Howard wondered if they're still having sex. Robin said they don't have insiders that are that inside. Robin said the speculation is that she is all in because she's not coming back to The Talk. Robin said she heard from TMZ that this will happen today on The Talk. She said that she may announce she's leaving today. Howard said the women have something to talk about and now she won't show up.
Howard said if he were Les he'd hire the people who made up Sacha Baron Cohen for his show and have himself made up to look different and just go back to work. Robin said he should get plastic surgery to look different. Howard said it can't be as much fun being married to the guy when all of that CBS empire is gone. Robin said they still don't know how this will all shake out. Robin said they didn't make fun of him on the Emmys last night so will he be allowed to come back? Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said maybe Julie can move to an island with Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein and Les. He said it's called Creep Island. He said that Julie is the only wife who went along. He said the island is shaped like an erect penis with balls.
Robin read a story about the New York Magazine article about Woody Allen and Soon-Yi. Robin said that they were rough on Mia Farrow. Howard said she was a real nice woman. He said he felt bad for her after reading that. He said she was so loving and giving to adopt these kids and bring them into their home. Howard said Soon-Yi was eating soap in Korea. He said that Mia took her in and took care of her. He said that takes work to take the kids in. He said that article bummed him out for Mia. Robin said today people are picking apart that article. Robin said they have a picture of Ronan Farrow with a picture of Frank Sinatra. Howard said he looks like Mia. He said that Woody is his dad. Howard said he believes that he's his father. Robin said that he did pay child support for him. Robin said that Woody is saying that Mia wasn't faithful to him though. Howard said they should leave her alone. He said Ronan is making a name for himself and he's taking on all of this #MeToo stuff. He said he's a good looking kid too. Robin said there as a biographer who said Sinatra was impotent so it's not possible for him to be the father. Howard said he looks identical to Mia. He said he believes that she would tell the truth about who the father is. He said he thinks she's a very moral person. Howard said all of his kids are good looking. He said they lucked out and don't look like him. He said Sinatra wasn't that good looking. He said he wasn't a beauty. He said he was very bad looking. He said the ladies liked him because he could sing and he was wealthy. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for such a great interview with Norm Macdonald. He said that it shows how these guys handle their guests on their shows. He said he has some questions about that. Howard said how about just leaving it at loving the interview. The caller wondered how they'd handle it on Howard's show. He was talking about how he thinks it could have gone. Howard said he thinks this caller is over thinking it. The caller was wondering how Howard would handle it if he had something like that happen. Howard said he would interview them. Robin said the only person they're pushing away is someone who just killed someone. Howard said he's not sure what to tell the guy. The caller thanked him for all these years of great radio. Howard said that was a nice call.
Robin read a story about something they're going to take credit for. Robin said in 36 years this hasn't happened. Robin said Paul McCartney has a number 1 album for the first time in 36 years. Howard said how about that. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said he saw the new video and they have a hot chick in ''Back in Brazil.'' He said the girl gets to dance up on the stage with Paul performing. Robin said the new album ''Egypt Station'' debuted at number 1. Howard said he has it on vinyl. Gary said he's so jealous. Howard said Chris Wilding said the best song is one that's on the album you can only get a Target. He said the song is ''Nothing for Free.'' Robin said congratulations to Paul for that.
Robin read a story about Tom Arnold's new Vice TV show where they go after the Trump tapes. Robin said that everyone has been asking him if he has the tape of Trump saying the N-word. Robin said Tom had a pushing match with Mark Burnett the other night at some event. Robin said yesterday she saw that Tom was saying he was going to sue or press charges. Robin said he's claiming that Mark attacked him and Mark's wife is saying that Tom is the attacker. Howard said he knows both guys. He said he thinks Tom could beat up Mark. He said he's a bulky kind of guy who grew up in the mid-west. He said he can put together that fight if they want to duke it out. Robin said they asked Tom if he has the tapes from The Apprentice and Tom said that Ronan Farrow has them. Howard said Mark Burnett was in the British army. He said he may have to change his thoughts on the fight. Gary said he actually saw action. He said he was in the special forces in the Falklands war. He also saw action in Northern Ireland. Howard said he is a masculine guy. He said he was in the service. Robin said she's not sure if anyone has tapes but that's what Tom is claiming. Howard said this Ronan Farrow is something. He asked if he's become like Woodward and Bernstein. Robin said ''Well, yeah.'' Howard said that kid is on fire.
Robin read a story about Roseanne Barr going out and telling everyone about how her character is exiting the show now that she's out and The Connors is going on. Robin had a clip from a podcast Roseanne was on talking about how they killed her off. She said they had her die of an opioid overdose. Roseanne said it wasn't enough to just fire her, she said they had to insult her. Howard said they should have had OJ kill her. Gary said she had an opioid addiction in the last season. He said it's not that out there. Howard said they should have done something funny like have a Sharknado take her out. Robin said she's not sure how a more dignified death would be better. Howard said he's not sure. He said maybe she blows herself up after being recruited by ISIS. Howard said she wouldn't be happy about getting killed off in any way.
Robin read a story about the Emmys and how Colin Jost and Michael Che were hosting. Robin said they didn't mention Les Moonves but they did mention #MeToo. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Robin said they say that people liked them as hosts. Robin said that they were relieved when all was said and done. Robin read about some of the big winners last night. She had a bunch of clips for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh being on hold until they interview the woman who claims he assaulted her as a teenager. Robin said they will question that woman and it should be broadcast. Howard said he'll be watching that. Robin said then he's going to answer those claims. Robin said he's claiming it never happened right now. Robin said he's claiming he was never even there at that party.
Robin read a story about Attorney General Jeff Sessions is saying that free speech is under attack on college campuses. Robin had some audio of sessions talking about how people being offended by speeches on campus are making it tough to have free speech there. Howard said there shouldn't be a reason you can't stage a protest.
Robin read a story about Trump hitting China with new tariffs. Robin had some details about that. Howard said all of that shit he buys at the Dollar Store is going to go away.
Robin said there's a station there on SiriusXM that has Laura Ingraham on it. She had one of Clinton's accusers on the show and she was talking about how tough it is for women to come forward. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. They spent a little time talking about that story.
Robin read a story about a basketball player named Jason Maxwell who revealed that he had slept with 341 women. Robin said that was before and during his marriage to his high school sweetheart. Robin said he was on this show where they try to fix people's lives. Robin said the wife must have suspected something was going on. Robin had some audio from that show where the guy was asked how many women he's slept with in his life. He quickly blurted out 341. Fred played Ronnie's ''That's a amores'' clip after that. Robin said the host tells the wife to just move on. The wife thought he had been with 8 women. She said even that was a lot for her. She walked off the show. Robin asked if you really want to do that on TV. She said the host thought that would keep the marriage together.
Robin read a story about how Bill Cosby's wife has filed a complaint against the judge in her husband's case. Robin said they claim that he was biased against Bill Cosby. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Howard started the show talking about how he just said Ronnie is like the least compassionate human being and he's going to have an animal hospital. He said he has a lot to talk about today. He said he's not sure where to begin. Robin said Ronnie should be taking care of strippers, not animals. Howard said it's perfect having Ronnie corresponding with the public. Robin said she would love to see some of that.
Howard took a call from a guy who was in Wisconsin so he asked how it is out there. The caller said the winters are tough. Howard said he is dreading the New York winter. He said he'd like to do a show from his house in Florida but he can't do it. He said that they have radio guys who pretend to be in a studio but he can't do that. He said he needs Robin there. He said he needs Fred there so he won't look at him.
The caller asked about his retirement and how he thinks he's going to handle that. The caller said he's ready to retire again and take it easy. He said he was in the military in the air force. He said he did his 20 years. Howard asked how much of a pension he gets. The caller, Jason, said it's half your base pay plus a few things. He said that it can be roughly $1,500 a month. Howard said he gets health care too. Jason said that's right. He said taxes are taken out of that. Howard said imagine that sacrifice. He asked if he saw any action. Jason said he didn't see action. He said they did have to load bodies of the soldiers who were killed in action.
Howard said this guy is getting 1500 a month and you could live off of that if you lived alone. He said that he has a job and he can't retire on that pension. Howard asked how old he is. Jason said he's 44. Howard said he'd like to sit home and relax but he's too young to do that. Jason said he should find something he's passionate about. He said he's into contracting right now. He said he goes out and gets contracts. Howard said how about doing something like security. He said maybe weapons training or something like that. Robin said he might have a logistical background. Jason said he does. He said he got a college degree while he was in but there's not much money in the airline business which he'd like to be in.
Howard asked what he was asking about. Jason said that he was talking about how Howard talks about retiring but not ever retiring. Howard said he feels like he can't do it anymore but there he is doing it. He said what drives him is that he can't stand being alone with his thoughts. Howard said his eyes roll into his head and he realizes that 4 or 5 hours have passed. He said it's like something takes him over. He said there is some relief in it with the day to day grind. He said he does this to release his problems.
Howard said he's going to be miserable either way but at least there they're paying him. He said he runs to work and does the show. He said tomorrow he'll be off the radio and he will be with his thoughts. He said his thoughts are the most dangerous thing. He said he's already anticipating what tomorrow will be like.
Howard said he finds hobbies to do and he has a project he's working on. He said he keeps busy from thing to thing. He said work is a way to keep your mind off of things. He said you're engaged in things. He said Jason should find something that he can do that's related to his military background. Jason said he appreciates that.
Howard thanked him for serving. He said he loves these guys who serve. He said he really does. He said they are the greatest patriots. Robin said as Beto O'Rourke says there are people who serve without being in the military. Howard said he was lumping all of those people together. Robin said there are people rushing into the Carolinas to help clean up. Howard said he's retiring right now. Robin said everyone else gets forgotten.
Howard said Ronnie was talking about opening that vet out in Vegas and how they'd have to hire a doctor to work there since Stephanie is a Vet Tech. Howard said imagine that. He and Fred did their Ronnie voices and talked about what kind of vet office that is going to be. Howard said Ronnie should open a brothel in Nevada. Fred said it could be Ronnie's Cunt Castle.
Howard said Ronnie has such a great way with business. He said you should see him driving. He said he has such an attitude. He said that he almost drove it into a wall this morning. He said he was up there fuming in the driver seat. Howard said someone stopped because there was a homeless person in the street. He said he couldn't see anything outside so he asked what was going on and Ronnie said nothing was going on. He said he thought he was going to have a fit today.
Ronnie came in yelling at Howard about the short stop this morning. Howard asked how he's going to run an animal hospital with that attitude. Ronnie said he's going to be behind the scenes. Howard said he's going to have to deal with the public. Ronnie said not really. He said it's 2 years and 4 months down the line anyway. Howard said he likes his plan. He said no veterinarian is going to work for him.
Brent came in and said Ronnie hasn't considered this. He said they have drugs at the animal hospital. He said you have to keep stock of it and there are DEA reports about it. Ronnie said that's what Stephanie is going to do. Howard asked if he thinks he can do this part time. Ronnie said yes. He said that's why you hire people to do this stuff. Brent said there are so many regulations out there in Nevada. Ronnie said that's what Stephanie does. He said that she's not the doctor. He said they hire assistants to be in the appointments. He said she handles the drugs and all of that.
Howard took a call from one of the guys in the back who said he tried to open an animal hospital in Vegas and now he's bankrupt. He said he's sucking cock to make money now. He asked if he can suck Ronnie's cock.
Brent said if he's running the place he has to handle all of this stuff. Ronnie said he can do it from home. He said he's not going to do the medical billing. He said they'll hire someone to do that. Howard asked what he's going to do there and who he's going to be corresponding with. Ronnie said he'll be paying the bills for the hospital and stuff like that. He said they have an investor to pay the bills too.
Shuli came in and asked if he's looking to be the face of the hospital. Ronnie said he's going to be behind the scenes. Howard said Ronnie wants to get out of there. Ronnie said he's not leaving for 2 years and how many months. Howard said Ronnie has nothing to do with a veterinarian but his girlfriend does. He said this whole thing doesn't make sense. He doesn't know anything about running a hospital. Ronnie said it's a business. He said Stephanie will take care of all of the people and drugs and all of that. He said don't worry about what he's going to be doing. Robin said he wants to sit by the pool. She asked if there will be a pool at the office. Ronnie said maybe.
Howard said Ronnie is going to be 73 by the time he leaves and he won't have the energy. He said he has no idea what that's going to be like. He said it sounds like a lot more work than what he's doing now.
Shuli said just wait until he has to miss a NASCAR race due to an animal emergency. Howard took a call from Ronnie's investor, Wendy the Slow Adult, who said she'll take her pets there. Howard asked her a few questions and she was saying yes to everything. Howard said he knows what these things cost and she's giving Ronnie like a million dollars. She said yes. She was just about puking as she was answering. It was actually the guys in the back playing clips of Wendy answering the questions.
Brent said this is the first time you've hear about something ''chilling back'' and opening a hospital. Howard said Ronnie thinks he can handle it and he's never run a hospital. Howard said you have to be there every day. Ronnie said you don't. He said there are people who will run it. Howard said you have to have someone there running the store.
Shuli said every time Ronnie goes to Vegas it's about the party. He said now it's going to be going to work every day. He said people are up all night. He said he's moving to a party town. Ronnie said the people who live there don't party every night. Shuli said he lived there 12 years and that's what it's like. He said the locals there party every night. Ronnie said they don't. Shuli said he's the king of Vegas when he goes out there and now he's opening an animal hospital.
Howard said he was talking to Fred yesterday about what he's going to do. He said he's going to become a neurosurgeon.
Brent asked if he knows anyone who has opened anything and didn't have to be there full time. Howard said he knows a guy who opened a couple of places and they ended up going out of business. He said that he has no idea what he's getting into. Ronnie said he knows what's going on. He said he's had businesses before. He said he's not senile. Howard said he doesn't know what's going on. Ronnie said he does. He said he doesn't care what anyone else does. He said he's going to do whatever he wants to do.
Ronnie asked what Shuli is going to do when Howard retires. Shuli said he can do stand up and he's writing some stuff. He said he'll be fine. Howard said people are planning now that they've heard Ronnie's plan. He said Gary is going to become a dentist. Gary said they have a friend who was going to open a business to relax. He said he was going to put cameras in there to run it from his house and that didn't work out. Howard said it's closed now. He said Benjy is opening a law firm. He said he's going to hire a bunch of lawyers and he'll just do the books.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's mispronouncing veterinarian. He said he's always going off on people about that. Howard said he's saying ''vet'enarian.'' He said fuck you do the caller. The caller said it's his job to do that. Howard said he says it like that but it is spelled veterinarian. Howard said he's going to stick with that. Brent was saying it that way too. Shuli was too.
Shuli asked how many people they're going to hire there. Ronnie said they'll have to see how it works out. Howard said JD is going to open a speech therapy place. He said he's just going to do the books there.
Howard said that Ronnie should do a specialty veterinarian office. Ronnie said Stephanie is going to do the hiring and all of that. Howard said Ronnie is just going to come by and do the bank runs and things like that. He said then he'll go to the pool and go to Kurt Busch's house. Ronnie said he doesn't live there. Howard said he will in 2 years. Howard did his Ronnie voice and goofed on him about that.
Ronnie asked why this stuff bothers him. Howard said they'll see what happens. Robin said that a lot of vets do boarding and stuff. She asked what happens when they have a sick dog that has to stay over night. Ronnie said boarding is when you bring your dog in to stay the weekend. Robin said that it's boarding when a pet is sick and it has to stay there over night.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she's a Vet Tech and the nice thing about their job is that they go home on the weekend. She said it's the doctors who take care of all of the other stuff. Howard said they have to go find a vet who will answer to Stephanie. Howard said he just lost a needle in a haystack. He asked him to go find it. Ronnie said not all doctors own their own office.
Ronnie asked why Shuli and Brent are in there. Howard said he doesn't know why. He wasn't kicking them out. Howard said imagine going to school to be a doctor and then you're answering to Ronnie and Stephanie.
Shuli asked what happens if someone with a year of experience comes to work there as security and he has to answer to them. Ronnie said that he does already. He said they know who he's talking about.
Howard said he knows plenty of dudes who have a dream like Ronnie. Ronnie said he followed his dream to Howard and here he is 33 years later. He said it's time to move on. Howard said he told his agent not to hire this guy after getting the letter from him but he had the right price so they did hire him.
Gary said the guys are wondering who is going to talk to Ronnie about not showing dirty pictures to people at the office and things like that. Ronnie said he'll be the H.R. department there. The guys laughed. Brent asked why he wouldn't do it there at the office. Ronnie said this is the Howard Stern Show. He said he's going to behave at the office.
Ronnie said that he showed Shuli one picture and he blew it up. Shuli said it was a woman being licked by a dog. He said it was licking her pussy. Howard said that is so wrong he's not sure where to begin. Robin said imagine you go to the 69 Vet Clinic and find out that the guy who runs it is showing video of a dog licking a woman. Howard asked if he would show that video to people at work at the clinic. Ronnie said he might. Howard wished Ronnie luck with that.
Shuli said that Ronnie was laughing so hard when he showed him that video that he was almost purple in color. Howard and Fred did their Ronnie voices talking about that stuff. Howard had Ronnie talking about his vet office and how Stephanie is in charge. He had him showing dirty videos to the employees there. Howard said he'll have like 3000 H.R. claims.
Howard and the guys were making up how they had news stations showing up to confront Ronnie about his H.R. claims and all of that. Fred did his Ronnie voice talking about the dirty videos.
Howard said that Ronnie is going to move out to Vegas and open this hospital. He said he'll stop by to help out once in a while. Ronnie said he'll be around. He told Robin to come visit. He said she's always welcome even though she has knives in her pocket.
Howard said the investor must have a lot of money. Ronnie said he's not saying who it is. Robin said he must have talked to this person. Ronnie said they're not going to find out who it is. Shuli said that sounds like a challenge. Ronnie asked if he can see his scripts. Shuli said he can't even remember one word from a script. Howard said he's guessing that this is like Les Moonves who wants to invest.
Howard asked if Ronnie is mad at Shuli or Brent. Ronnie said he's not. Howard asked Shuli what he's writing. Shuli said that he's writing a sitcom. Howard said he's looking forward to the Ronnie clinic. He said he'll go visit that. He said he wants to see that. Ronnie said he'll do the commercials and stuff. Howard said imagine that. He did his Ronnie voice talking about that. Fred and Howard were both doing that for a minute before they had to take a break. Howard said Tan Mom is going to be coming in today. Ronnie said she's there. Howard asked how she looks. Shuli said she looks fantastic. Howard said she's going to come in and say goodbye to the tri-state area. He said she's moving to Florida. He said she's doing what Ronnie is going to be doing. They went to break after that.
Howard played the call where the guys took clips of him talking as Pat Robertson and had the hosts of the show agreeing with him. One of the hosts said he's a scientist and he knows that we have global warming because man has sinned. The guys put Howard on as Pat Robertson praying for the hurricane to hit the gay people in San Francisco and the hosts said hallelujah to all of that. They thanked him for calling in with that and said they appreciate all of that.
They played a Dr. Phil and Howard Stern commercial parody. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that he likes this Cranberries song. He said it makes him sad thinking about how the lead singer killed herself.
Howard said that they have a sad day today because Tan Mom is going to be saying goodbye to the tri-state area. He said she's moving. Howard had Tan Mom come in with her producer Adam Barta. Howard asked how Adam is. He said he's embarrassed that he didn't remember his name. He said his crack staff didn't write it down for him. Howard said Shuli is also in there
Howard said Tan Mom is tanner than ever. Tan Mom said she is pretty tan. She said that she's just maintaining her tan. She said she's not going that often. She said she doesn't do it every day like she used to. Howard said she is as dark as a black person. Adam said she was tanning out in the green room with a spray tan. Howard said she always loves to dress sexy. He said she's got a braless top on today. He said her boobs are rolling around in there. Tan Mom said she's wearing her daughter's clothing. She said she's 12. Howard said she's got natural boobs too. Tan Mom said she does.
Howard said she has short shorts on too. He said she's spilling out of everything. Howard asked if she gets a lot of attention. Tan Mom said she does everywhere. She said that she's a mess and she still gets attention. Howard said she's as dark as Forrest Whittaker with that tan. Howard said she's not as dark as Wesley Snipes but she's pretty dark. Robin said maybe Terrene Howard.
Howard said she is a sight to behold. He said he heard her tittie popped out on her way there. Tan Mom said she was walking there and she just popped out. She said she's having a problem with her headphones. She said she's trying to be more fragile. Howard said she's succeeding.
Howard asked why her boob popped out. Tan Mom said she was changing her clothes and she had Adam come in. She said he was helping her. She said it just popped out. Adam said she looks great naked. Howard asked if she's moving to Florida so she can tan. She said she wants to just go there and be free. She said she's congested there. She said she's retiring down there. Howard asked from what since she doesn't do anything.
Howard said she needs money and the plan is to find a real job down there. He said she wants to go work somewhere that she can act like she cares for a few hours. Howard asked where she would fit in. Tan Mom said as a buyer. She said that she would order things. Howard asked what she's going to buy. Tan Mom said she used to be a great buyer. She said she has done nothing since she met people with money. She said she's really smart but she never has to do anything.
Howard asked if she has a husband. Tan Mom said she doesn't. She said he's not going to Florida. She said she's taking her two little ones with her. She said he'll come visit her down there. She said he has ''Old timers'' so he can't remember stuff. Howard asked when they stopped having sex. She said six years ago. She said she hasn't been with anyone in the past 6 years. Howard said they say that a vagina can close up. Tan Mom said that she might meet someone and spread her wings for someone and it'll be nice and tight for him. Howard said that sounds like a hard task.
Howard asked if the kids are being home schooled. She said they're not now. She said they know Howard Stern so she brought them with her today. Howard asked if she pleasures herself. Tan Mom said that's not something she wants to answer. Howard said that she must diddle it a little bit. Tan Mom asked for Robin's help. Howard asked if she thinks about Sal. She said she doesn't. She said she just thinks about things she's seen before. Shuli said she broke a vibrator once. She said she threw it.
Howard said he hates it when people leave him. Tan Mom said that she loves everyone there. She said she'll be back. Howard asked if she will tan down there or has she learned her lesson. She said he has learned a lesson. She wasn't sure what that was. She said she goes out and doesn't put on any lotion. She said she turned 50 and Howard didn't show up so she was so bummed.
Howard said she has a plate in her head. Tan Mom said that's from a guy who punched her in the head. She said that he kept hitting on her and hitting on her. She said that he cold cocked her. She said that they had to revive her.
Howard asked Tan Mom about going to the airport and if she sets off the alarm with the plate in her head. She said it doesn't set it off. Howard had Ronnie come in with the wand he has to check for metal. Ronnie went over to her and ran it over her head. Howard said he's not hearing anything. Then the thing went off on her forehead. Ronnie said she has metal in her head. Tan Mom said she has the best plastic surgeon. Howard had him run it over her head again. The wand was going off. Howard had him run it over her head again. She had her watch near there though. She moved it and it was still going off.
Robin said she'd worry that being in the sun would heat that thing up and it would fry her brain. Tan Mom said she wasn't kidding about having that thing in there. She said she went to Howard's party and she was laying down putting on her shoes. She said she was going to jump over. Howard wondered if they can put a magnet on her head. He said maybe next time.
Howard asked what Tan Mom teaches when she's home schooling. Tan Mom said she would do a full day like in school. She said she'd have to separate her kids because they thought everything was a joke. Howard asked if Shuli got that on tape. Shuli said he didn't know it was going on.
Howard asked if she knows what 7x8 is. Tan Mom said 64. Howard said that's not right so he's not sure how she is as a teacher. Tan Mom said that you have to know your tables and she used to use a chart on a book. She said she had the answers there. Howard asked if she knows what 8x7 is. She said 56. Howard asked why Adam told her. Adam said he had to bail her out.
Howard asked if the kids refer to her as Mrs. Krentcil. She said it is when she is the teacher. She said she's losing that last name though. She said that she's not sure what name she's going to go by. Howard said she can go by Patricia Stern. Shuli said that she can take Sal's last name of Governale too. Tan Mom said she thinks Sal is hiding from her.
Howard said Tan Mom was drinking water and she almost drown herself. Howard asked what happened. She said she has so much pressure on her.
Howard said Tan Mom is showing off all her assets today. He asked if she has underwear on today. Tan Mom said she never wears them. Howard said her legs and stomach are showing and her vagina is almost hanging out. Tan Mom said it's all ready to go. Shuli did his Tan Mom voice a couple of times during that.
Tan Mom said that she, Sal, Lemet and Ronnie went somewhere. She said that there was a girl in the front row plucking herself to them. She said she had open legs. Howard said he wants to get back to her home life.
Howard said the kids are being home schooled and the kids will go to public school in Florida. She said she hasn't gotten to that yet. She said she thinks she's moving to West Palm Beach. Howard said that there is a lot of money down there. He asked if she will find a man to support her down there. Tan Mom said she wants a guy who is cool but they don't have to give her money. Howard said Rush Limbaugh lives down there. He said he's around her age. Tan Mom said he's too old. Howard said he's a fascinating man. He said that might be the man for her.
Howard said her goal is to move to Florida and find a man there. He said she'll find a job and just log in for a few hours a day. He said she wants to go and pretend she cares. Tan Mom said she wants to do what normal people do. Howard asked how she's going to be normal. Robin asked what she's going to do. Tan Mom said she wants to be a buyer. Howard said maybe she can do something else. She said that she wants to garden at home too. Howard said that all takes money. He said she has run out of money .Robin asked how she's going to live down there. Howard said he feels like this isn't going to happen. Tan Mom said she's moving in on the 27th into her condo. She said she has a gorgeous condo.
Howard asked how she found that condo. Tan Mom said her son is in Florida and he helped. Howard asked where the money is coming from. Tan Mom said her parents gave her some money but she doesn't care for them all that much. Howard said he wishes his parents would give him some money. He said it's fascinating that they're doing this. Tan Mom said that her parents are very spoiled. She said they will give her enough for the condo. She said her parents are like 80. She said she has bad memories about them but she flushes them out of her head. She said that someone wasn't so wholesome to her. She said that she told them about it and they said they were sorry. She said that they claim they didn't know.
Howard asked if they call her Tan Mom. She said no but they used her name Krentcil because of her fame. She said that's her married name though. Robin said she likes that her parents are giving her money even though she doesn't like them.
Howard took a call from fake Rush Limbaugh and told Tan Mom not to blow this. She knew it wasn't going to be him. Tan Mom talked to fake Rush for a short time. Rush said that he'd like to take her around West Palm and show her the beach. Tan Mom said she'd like to go on a boat ride first.
Howard said he's not sure if that was Rush Limbaugh. He moved on and said the reason she's there is because she's leaving and going to Florida. Shuli said she's been wanting to get away and move since the whole IRS thing went down. He said that this looks like it's the real deal. Robin said she doesn't feel good about not having her around. Tan Mom said she'll be back and forth. She said Adam does that all the time.
Howard said Leon Spinks is on the phone now. He said he lives down there too. The guys in the back called in with clips of Leon mumbling.
Howard said Adam Barta is there and he's been treating Tan Mom very well. Adam said he moved to Florida and he was working on some projects down there. He said he'll be doing a music video down there. He said they're working on a full album too. He said they have a record label they're working for. He said he works with a bunch of people. He said he has a partner he works with. Howard said he's seeing some labia on her there. Tan Mom said oh my god. Shuli was doing his Tan Mom voice and entertaining her with that. Howard said he really sounds like her. Shuli Mom did his voice and talked to her about moving to Florida with her. Shuli Mom said that she told her parents to go fuck themselves.
Howard asked if she has a plate in her head. Shuli said she has a chafing dish in her head. Tan Mom asked if she's going to come out to West Palm Beach and to Adam's. Shuli asked what she's even saying. Tan Mom said she listens to this show and she's fine but then she comes in and she's confused.
Howard asked if today is the full album or is this just the single. Adam said they're working on the whole album and she's going to be performing ''Free to be Me'' today. Tan Mom said she's very nervous about this today. She said she thought that the studio was a shower. She said that's the plate in her head.
Howard said they're signed to Waverly Grace Music and she's going to do a Yoko Ono type album. Adam said it will be very artistic. Howard said they're working on a music video. Adam said they're doing that in 2 weeks when she moves down to West Palm. Tan Mom said that she's nervous today and she's shaking.
Howard asked Tan Mom why she's looking at her watch. She said she was getting a phone call. Howard asked if her watch is ringing. She said it's her phone watch.
Howard asked Adam what the video is going to be about. Adam said she's going to be getting some work done on her down there and the video will be about that. Tan Mom said she doesn't want to do the work to look better so she's going to get the surgery. Howard asked her to sing something for them now.
Howard said she's going to be performing ''Free to be Me.'' He said this is a live performance along with a track. Tan Mom said that her mouth is so dry. She had to sip some water. Howard said don't let those titties pop out. Tan Mom did her thing and fucked it up right away. Adam said she thinks she just got nervous. He said they should try it again and she'll sing to him and they'll get it right.
Howard started the song over again so Adam could get it right with Tan Mom. Howard said that Adele had to do this at the Grammys to make sure she got it right. Shuli was drinking water like Tan Mom drowning herself. Howard had them start the song a short time later. They did the song and Tan Mom messed up again. Howard said he's had enough. She said the song is really good. Howard said he thinks that she forgot the message.
Howard said he thinks she cracked from the pressure. Tan Mom said she's trying to lose that name and so is moving to Florida. Howard said that her plate is sticking out of her head. Howard said the live performance is tough so he gets it.
Howard said her big announcement is that she's moving to Florida. He said she'll do her best down there. Howard said she has money coming in from her parents and she'll be working but retiring as well.
Howard asked if he has missed anything. Shuli said he thinks he got it all. He said he can't wait to go down to see her down there.
Howard asked Tan Mom about her tweets that don't make sense. He read one and asked what it means to her. She had one with 3 hearts and a squirrel Emoji. Tan Mom said it means it's fall. She also had one about her phone being stuck or something. Howard asked her about one that was about Shuli. She had four squirrel Emojis in that one. Shuli read it as Tan Mom. Howard asked what that means. Tan Mom said she was yelling at him and she decided that she loved him too much so she threw in the squirrels.
Howard asked if she is happy or sad. Tan Mom said she's both. She said it goes back and forth. She said she's not on any medication now but she used to be. Howard asked if she got evened out with the meds. Tan Mom said she tries to talk to friends when she goes crazy. Howard said move to Florida and everything should be just fine.
Howard asked about that's going on with Sal. Tan Mom said she loves Sal. Howard said he heard she would stay in the area if he left his wife for her. Tan Mom said she's not going to do that to mess up his marriage. Howard asked if she's still a Scientoligist. She said it's not for her.
Howard asked if she has seen Sal at all today. Tan Mom said she hasn't. She said she would love to see him but she doesn't want to see him. Howard said they came close to being a couple. Howard said that he's so into her. Tan Mom saw Sal and seemed happy about that. Sal said he's sorry she's leaving the area. He said he likes her a lot. He said he likes her from the bottom of her feet to the plate in her head. Howard said they remind him of Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande.
Howard asked what Sal would do to her. Sal explained what he would do to her and he went for her head to her butt hole. He said he would nuzzle his nose in her pussy with his tongue in her asshole. Tan Mom said it's been a while since she's had something like that. Howard said that's just the start.
Howard said that's something. He said Adam just became gayer when he heard that. Sal said he would take her into the tub and handcuff her to the shower and tickle her slow. He said then he'd piss right in her face. Tan Mom said this is too much. She said only if Sal did it to her she'd let him do that. Sal said he's getting divorced. Howard said they would be having so much fun. Tan Mom said she'll be back.
Howard said Tan Mom really loves Sal. He said anyone who says that she wants someone to pee in her face is in love. Sal said he would cum in her wig and slap it back on her head. Tan Mom said she would say yes to that too. Howard said she really does love Sal.
Howard said he's sorry they got her all riled up with Sal. Adam said that she will talk about Sal and get upset that he's not single. Howard said Sal would really do all of this stuff to her. He said he's not kidding about it. Howard said he's going to give her a choice. Howard asked Tan Mom if she could do one thing either being with Sal or curing cancer, what would she chose. She said that she would cure cancer.
Howard asked Adam if this album is a serious thing. Adam said they want to have comedy mixed into it too. Adam said they want to go for a Grammy. Sal said she's like Weird Al Yankmycock. Howard asked who she would like to have perform with her. She said that she'd like to have Bruce Springsteen. Howard said he might do it. He said stranger things have happened. Howard said she's going to be a working class girl soon. He said she'll be doing something.
Howard said it was great to see Tan Mom. He said it's tough to do home schooling with the kids. He said it's tough to get the new job and all of that too. Tan Mom said it's hard to hide being her. Howard said that's true. Tan Mom said that someone else just called her. Howard said she's like Dick Tracey with big tits.
Tan Mom said she'd like her kids to get move involved with her. She said that she never put her kids in the tanning booth. She said she had to take them in front of a grand jury about that.
Howard said he has Bruce Springsteen on the phone. He took that call and Tan Mom knew it wasn't really him.
Howard said he has Flirty Gary on the phone to ask her out too. Howard took that call and the guys played clips of Gary trying to ask her out. Tan Mom said she's not interested. She said he's awful. Howard said he's getting a lot of these calls.
Howard said he knows on behalf of the show that they want to say good luck down in Florida. He said he thinks that they will welcome her down there. He said it's not like the people who saw Frankenstein.
Tan Mom said that she went online and found a place to live. She said she hasn't been down there yet. She said she knows Florida. She said she has to buy all new stuff though. Tan Mom said that someone else did the research and showed her the pictures. She said it's going to be fine.
Sal said he'll miss her. He said that he hopes she has a good time in that place she researched so thoroughly. Sal also commented on her outfit that was showing her side meat.
Howard asked what they're plugging today. Adam said they are plugging the song which is on iTunes. He said that they're looking for product placement for the video too. He said they have signed up some things like beer and a tanning company. He said he can't say the names though. Howard said maybe they won't have time for Patricia in the video if they have too many products. Adam said that might be for the best.
Howard asked Tan Mom if she has any final words. Tan Mom said she just loves everyone. Adam said they have to plug Dr. Miami too. She said he's going to lift her butt a little bit. She said that she doesn't want a big one. She said she just wants it up a little bit. Sal told her not to touch it at all. Tan Mom showed Sal what it looks like. She said it's flat. Sal said it looks great. Howard had Shuli Mom show her ass. Shuli did his Tan Mom impression as he did that.
Howard thanked Tan Mom for coming in. Howard said he's going to miss her. She was talking about using the term Jiminy Cricket and barnacle. She said she had the best surgeons. She said that she was telling Howard the truth about her plate. Howard said he likes that she took her daughter's shirt and made it her own. Howard said Shuli Mom isn't dressed as nice.
Howard asked when she last tanned. Adam said she did it in the green room. Howard said that's great because they just painted in there. Howard said he just heard that the guys say it smells like chemicals in there. Adam said it really does.
Howard said there was someone who told him that Tan Mom spray gunned someone on the plane. Sal said that was him. He said he told him that she sprayed the guy next to her on the flight. Tan Mom said she kept going outside to smoke and they all SWAT teamed her. She said that she had to go to rehab for 3 days for smoking. Howard said you're not allowed to go outside on the plane. Sal said she was swinging her crutch at the flight attendant and they still let her fly.
Steve Nowicki came in and told the story about her tanning on the plane. He said there were two kids next to her on the plane too. Tan Mom thought that was Memet who she calls Lemet. Howard wrapped up with Tan Mom and Adam. They went to break after that.
Howard said Chris Cornell's family also sent over a song they've never heard before. He said he's gone but not forgotten. He said they're releasing a new 17 song album. He said this is a little bit of Chris performing ''When Bad Does Good.'' He said it's being released tomorrow at midnight. Howard played some of the song and said the family said he recorded this before his death. He said he loved the song. Gary said Josh Brolin is a good friend of the family and he reminded Chris' wife of how much he loved this song so she put it out. He said they'll have a song he did there at Sirius on the album too.
Howard said Tom Arnold's new show debuted last night. He said it was titled Howard Stern. He said that they were looking for the Trump tapes and he told Tom that they don't have secret tapes. He said they're all on the air. He said that he told Tom that when he was up there.
Howard said maybe Robin can figure out what Tom was talking about on this show. He said that Tom called him a journalist. He said he appreciates that. He played a clip where Tom said Howard Stern spent more time talking to Trump than any other journalist.
Howard said then Tom makes a point that he has copped out by not releasing the tapes. Howard said he's not sure why he says that. Tom said that he has to talk to Stern about the tapes. He got booked to do the show on May 2nd. Howard said he has to interrupt this. He said this was Tom in studio last time. He said he has it animated in the show. He said Tom says he agreed to have him on. He said he has him on all the time. He said he's welcome any time. He said he would have had him in with Tan Mom. Robin asked how long this show was. Howard said he thinks the show is an hour. JD said it was a half hour.
Howard played more of Tom's show where he was talking to Howard in the studio and he explained that he's not sitting on any tapes. Tom said that was a cop out. Tom said he didn't even get the video of his own damn interview. Howard said he thinks that he's trying to make a conspiracy out of this. He said it's not though. He said the interviews are all out there because they were on the air. Robin said if he looked he would have found the tapes. Howard said he actually did.
Howard played another clip where Tom talked to this guy who said he has the transcripts of the show. He said Sirius had them remove the audio clips from YouTube. He said that they're not allowed to have the audio anymore. They had transcripts though. Tom talked to this guy about the transcripts and they went through some of the stuff Trump said over the years.
Howard said there you have it. He said he never has tapes from behind the scenes because he only talked to Trump on the air. He said that they cut down every website if they put up audio from the show. He said the thing they sell there is his show. He said they have nothing to sell if the audio is being put out there. He said if they put out the product for free then they're fucked. He said there is no conspiracy. He said anything from the show that gets put up will be taken down or they'll sue you. He said SiriusXM will sue, not Howard Stern. Howard said he just wants to make sure that it's clear.
Robin said this whole show is ridiculous. She said if he's making something up about their tapes that isn't true then the whole show is ridiculous. Robin said they're making a conspiracy about public record. Robin said that they have to work on something, not nothing. She said they told him there was nothing there when he was there. She said now he's saying Howard Stern is never giving up the tapes.
Howard said then Tom went to talk to the guys who ripped the audio from the show. He said they're called Transparency Activists. Howard played a clip of that segment. The guys were saying that people should be allowed to listen to this stuff so they can hear the whole conversation. Howard said Tom did thank him for setting the record straight about Sarah Huckabee Sanders' glass eye. He had a clip of that from the show too.
Howard said he loves Tom. Robin said he's supposed to be investigating and he's not getting the truth. Howard said they were featured on Tom's show last night. Robin asked if this is a parody of a show or something. Howard said he thinks so.
Howard said he has Alex Jones on the phone telling him to keep the tapes secret. He had fake Alex on the line and talked to fake Alex for a minute about that. Alex kept interrupting to do commercials for ridiculous products that he plugs on his show.
Howard said stay tuned for that but he's not sure when it'll be up. He said he hopes within a day or so.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves the app. He said he loves seeing the setup in there and the puppets and all of that. He asked if Howard slouches in his chair. Howard said he does. He said that's one problem with the video. He said that the chair makes it hard to say up straight. Robin said that her chair does that too so she sits on a pillow. Howard said he looks horrible on there but he doesn't want to pay attention to the cameras in there. He said he just wants to do the radio show. He said if you see that something is wrong he's giving you warts and all.
The caller said that's the realness they need. He said he wants more on Robin like one under her desk.
Robin said she was going through some pictures of Howard and Beth out on the town. She said they are a handsome couple. Howard said Beth is handsome. Robin said they are a handsome couple. She said she's not even sure why it was out there. Robin said Howard made the news for saying that they should have mentioned Les Moonves on the Emmys. Howard said they should have.
Howard said if he's asked to be judge and jury with this then he needs the information from both sides. He said he knows it's turned into political football. He said that if he has to judge this situation he has to hear the woman out. He said the guy may say he never did any of this and he's not sure if he can make a decision. He said they have to do an investigation. Howard said Kavanaugh says he doesn't recall being there. He said that maybe this woman is a kook but they have to hear out her story. He said it's too important a story to ignore. Howard said that's what happened to Anita Hill.
Howard said this guy deserves to be heard and he deserves to have a defense and this woman deserves to have some kind of investigation. He said they could interview some people who were at the party. Robin said they could establish if he was at the party or not. Howard said they can't rush an investigation like this. He said it should take a reasonable amount of time. He said if they find out that this woman has made this up then they should throw her in jail. He said if she's not lying about it then something has to be done to stop this guy from being appointed to the Supreme Court.
Howard said he has had a lot of things happen to him in his life. Robin said she didn't tell anyone about what happened to her as a child until she was 28. Howard said it's a heavy thing to come forward with. He said he hears these old timers saying she doesn't remember who was at the party. Howard said a guy attacked him in high school and this guy jumped on him and choked him. He said he can't remember where it happened or whose house he was at. He said he knows here were guys there but he doesn't remember who they were. He said he does remember the incident. He said he was shook by it. He said the guy was a complete lunatic. He said he's saying this because he can't remember every detail. He said this woman may not remember every detail but she may remember what this guy allegedly did to her.
Howard said he doesn't care if he's conservative. He said he's fine with him being on the court. He said that the people voted Trump in and the people have spoken. He said he is in favor of people being heard.
Howard said he felt bad for Julie Chen Moonves yesterday. He said she went on The Talk and said she has to leave to spend time with her husband and child. He said that she didn't do anything wrong. He said that she's a victim. He said he doesn't like that she added the Moonves name to her name. He said that she didn't need to do that. Howard said she wasn't looking to stay home with her family but she can't go on The Talk if she can't talk. Howard said she can't talk about anything and it's because of Les.
Howard said at some point Julie is going to wake up and ask Les what he did to her career. He said what can you do. Howard asked if Robin heard the statement. robins said she did not but she read about it.
Howard had tape from The Talk where they played the Julie Chen clip. Howard said that they played it at the end of the show so they didn't get to talk about it. Howard said Julie has to do this and she must be thinking about what Les is doing to her. He said she can't even do it live because she's completely flummoxed as what to say.
Howard played more of the clip and talked about what must be happening in that house. He said this woman doesn't want to be home. He said she has like 17 jobs. Howard said he'd like to know what's going on in that house.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said Howard is wrong about Julie. She said that her sisterhood was only to the women on The Talk. She said that she is disagreeing with Howard for the first time. She said he's wrong feeling sorry for her. Howard said he's not going to feel sorry for her then. Mariann said that she can't wait to see the Tan Mom thing on the app. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard said he hears the people have spoken. He said that he will pull out a samurai sword and take care of this. Howard said he thinks Julie will leave Les some day. He said she will come out and say that she supports these women. Robin said something did come out about how she was going to work on helping her husband clear his name. Howard said he's still waiting for OJ to clear his name. Robin said Bill O'Reilly still has to clear his name too. Howard said maybe Julie will team up with Bill for that.
Robin said she thinks that will be the unveiling and she will have to deal with what her husband has done. She said that he doesn't want an investigation in the worst way. Robin wondered how you confront these women. Robin said she may not do it herself. She said she thinks she will be liberated by the truth.
Howard played ore of Julie's goodbye clip. She started to break down crying at the end. Howard said she's going from that to cooking for Les at home. Howard wondered what she'll be doing there at home. Howard said it was kind of a boring announcement. He played more of her saying goodbye to the cast and crew.
Howard wondered if she's yelling at Les or thinking he's being framed. Robin said she thinks Julie believes that these women are lying. She said she shouldn't look too hard for the truth because it might be upsetting. Howard joked that they're moving to Las Vegas to open an animal hospital.
Howard said that Julie was saying to one of the girls that they close the show as she opens the show. Howard played more of the announcement and said what a party.
Howard said he wants one of these from Fred when he leaves. He played more of Julie's goodbye's to Sharon and Sara. Howard said he wants them to talk about her and maybe the dam would burst and they'd say they didn't like her so much. Howard said he thinks that would make the ratings go through the roof.
Howard played more of the goodbye from Julie and she said that she, Sharon and Sara are the Three Musketeers. She thinks this show will live on for years and years. She said it's a sisterhood. Robin said that's what Mariann just went off on her about.
Robin asked if Sharon said she called Julie when all of this happened. Howard said he thinks so. Robin wondered if they're still talking. Howard said he'd like to know how this all works. He said he wants to know what Julie is doing at home to take care of her family. He did his Julie Chen voice and did an impression of her goodbye video.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she's an expert on this. She said they will be divorced in a year. She said they should have discussed it all on the show. She said that she hopes she's giving Les Chinese water torture at home. Howard and Robin both sighed.
Howard asked if she's upset that she didn't say that she stands by her man. Mariann said she should have said she wants to listen to everybody's side. She doesn't know what happened. Howard said he agrees with her on that. Mariann screamed when Howard said he agrees with her. Mariann said they're going to have Rod Stewart on channel 30. She said she won't even change to cheat on Howard. Howard hung up on her.
Howard said Julie was having a good time until all of this went down with Les. He said it would be so great if she just said something inappropriate to the girls on The Talk. He said that's the world we live in.
Howard said in Los Angeles a KCAL anchor slipped and said ''studio shitty instead of Studio City. He played that clip and said that's pretty awesome.
Howard said a host for a show in Canada said ''pulp fucktion'' instead of Pulp Fiction. Then he said a woman on CNN said ''on the cunt'' instead of on the hunt. He played those clips.
Howard said this guy Richard Justice slipped and said ''cunt'' instead of hunt for the wild card. He had a clip he played for Robin. Fred played Ronnie saying ''cunt'' a bunch of times.
Howard said this guy said ''big dick'' instead of big duck. The guy apologized as soon as he said it. Howard asked what that guy is thinking about. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Robin started her news asking about what it would be like if you sent out a private message as a public message when you're the school superintendent. Howard said ''uh oh.'' Robin said that this guy said ''you can't count on a black quarterback.'' He thought it was private but it was on a public Facebook post. Howard said we have to stop with this stuff. Robin said she used to get very upset about this stuff. She said even with a very smart person they do stupid things. Robin said they stay with you and they just say it because it stays with you. Robin said it's not a real thought. Howard asked if she's still holding him responsible. Robin said of course she is. She said you're still responsible.
Robin said yesterday there was a story about Burt and Ernie being gay. Robin said it has never been proven that they're gay. She said that a guy who used to write for them came out saying that he always thought of them as gay and he wrote for them that way. Robin said he didn't emphasize that though. Robin said Frank Oz says they weren't gay and he was one of the creators of the characters. Howard said they are gay because the writer wrote for them that way. Robin said people are getting bent out of shape over nothing. Robin and Howard ended up talking about Dancing with the Stars during that discussion. Howard said they don't have him hooked in this season. Robin told Howard about how the latest bachelor and Bachelorette just broke up after getting engaged. Howard said he doesn't believe it. Howard said she's ruining the show for him. He said he didn't hear about this. He said everyone has turned off their radio so they should move on. He spent a little more time talking about Dancing with the Stars though.
Robin read a story about how 10.2 million people watched the Emmys on Monday. Robin said they say that's the lowest rated show. Howard said there are so many shows on now that you don't even know who they are. He said you used to know everyone. He said it's just over. Robin asked if it had to do with it being on a Monday instead of a Sunday. Howard said that's a good question.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that Julie had to either stay with her husband or leave him. He said she can't be on the fence. Howard said the guy ran CBS and she's in shock. He said imagine you hear all of these stories about the guy. He said you'd be in shock. Howard said he's not sure that this happened when she was with him. Robin said they say that it did start in the 2000s. She could have been with him. King said that Les is going to be sitting around staring at her and he's getting old. He said if he was doing all of that then he didn't care about all of that stuff. Howard said if his partner went to the doctor and jerked off in front of her and then said he can't be alone in a room with a woman, how can he stay home with that guy? Howard said even Cosby's wife stayed home with him. Robin said no one ever said she was a feminist though. Howard said there are women who date prisoners. Robin said Charles Manson was so popular they couldn't keep up with his mail. Howard said that guy had a young, hot wife and he was 80 with a swastika on his head.
King said the sad thing is that the military guy who called in this morning is only getting 1500 a month and he's getting 3500 a month for being a garbage man. He said he may move down to Georgia. He said he thanks god that his parents left him what they did. Howard hung up on him and said they have to go.
Robin read a story about the guy who proposed to the woman on the Emmys has kids and they were blind sided by this engagement. They found out just like everyone else did on the Emmys. Howard said he can't imagine how his dad proposed. He said he asked his dad how he did it and he said he just saw her at a dance. He said it wasn't even love at first sight. He said the story wasn't all that great. He said if she had lived in the Bronx he wouldn't have gone on the date with her. He said he'd go to Guam if someone would agree to go on a date with him. He did his mother and father's voices talking about how they met.
Robin asked how long they dated. Howard's dad said ''a few years.'' Howard kept going with the voices and told Robin more about how they met. Robin asked if Ray was a virgin. Howard had her saying she was. She didn't want to talk about what that night was like. Robin asked when she fell in love with Ben. Howard's Ben said that he is a guy who goes to work and comes home and there is no shenanigans. She said he does yard work and he was a family man and that's what she likes. She said he had a good sense of humor and he always was nice. Ray said he was a good father and he loved Howard very much. Howard had the two of them getting confused about Robin's questions. They were having trouble hearing what she was saying. Robin said she wants to know what Ben loved about Ray. Ben said he doesn't know. Howard had his mom say that he loved her and that's what counts. Robin asked about what the most romantic thing was that Ben did for her. Ray said that he just loved her and that's what counts. Howard asked his dad how he proposed. Ben said that's a stupid question. Ray said that her father treated her like a maid and he didn't like it that she was leaving. Robin asked if Ben got on one knee. Ben said of course he did. Ray said that they have to go because they have a routine. She told Robin what they do and how they start their day. She said they go to bed early. They go to bed by 6. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said he's glad that she stopped talking to his parents. He said it was exhausting. He went right back into doing the voices though. He had Ben and Ray talking about fasting and things like that. Howard ended it a short time later. He said his parents were starving and miserable and he wanted to kill himself. He said that they did it to themselves. He said all he knows is that the traffic is light.
Robin read a story about a plastic surgeon who has been on TV and his friend are facing rape charges. Robin said this guy was on a TV show. She said they're looking for more victims of this guy. Robin said the guy would drug women and sexually assault them with his girlfriend. Robin said this guy was on several reality shows on Bravo. Robin said they reason they got caught is the evidence they had on their phones. They took pictures so that's why they think there are more victims. Howard said this is his worst nightmare. He said he doesn't want anyone taking pictures of his penis when he's dead. Robin said she won't leave his side. She read more about what this pair are accused of doing together. Robin said that it must have made the other women feel comfortable when this woman was there. Robin said one woman woke up screaming which made a neighbor call police.
Robin read a story about Beyonce writing herself a letter on her birthday. Robin said this is what she would say to herself if she was giving herself a pep talk. Robin said she and Jay Z have been on tour and she posted a loving tribute to him. Robin said it's interesting that they're doing it all on social media.
Robin said that Michael Jordan is donating 2 million dollars to the hurricane relief in the Carolinas.
Howard said he wanted to mention that Burt Reynolds was a real dick to Sally Field. He said that she has a story about him in her new book. Howard read some of the details from that story. Howard said that she said she's glad Burt isn't around to see this stuff. Howard read about how Burt was very controlling with her and she was afraid to talk to any man she knew. Robin said this sounds like what Charles Manson would do. Robin said he would build you up and then tear you apart. Robin read more about what Sally claims Burt did to her. Howard said he knew that guy was a dick. He said he should have done this earlier in the show. He said there's a ton of good stuff in there. Robin said that he cut his son out of his will. Robin said it was one of those leading headlines. She said that he set up a trust for his son a long time ago and he wasn't mentioning him because he had already taken care of him. Robin said that was one of those things that makes you think he didn't do something and he actually did. Howard said he wanted to trash Burt some more. Robin said he can't for that part.
Robin read more about the Michael Jordan donation for the Carolinas. Robin said he went to school down there. Robin said he also owns the team the Charlotte Hornets.
Howard said he wanted to watch Cher's new video for S.O.S. by Abba. He said he wanted to see her dancing around at her age. He said it's other people mouthing the song. He said that Cher isn't in the video. He said he was furious. He asked what the hell Cher is doing. He said get out there and shake that ass. He said he wants to look at Cher, not other people. Fred played the song Howard was talking about. Howard said she sounds good. He said she has an accent like his dad does. He let the song play for a bit. He said it's a good version of the song. He said she still has her voice at 72. He said he's not sure who is looking for Abba songs. Robin said the Mama Mia movie is doing really well. She said they came out with a second one. Gary said Cher is in the second one. Howard said he bets Ronnie is into that music because he's into Cher. Howard said he was really bummed about her not being in the video.
Robin read a story about how there were no mentions of Les Moonves at the Emmys and he made the news over that. Robin said that some people were wondering the same thing. Robin said she thinks that they're still using Les as an unpaid advisor and that's why they're afraid of the guy. Robin said that he may still be talking to the people at CBS. Howard said that's weird to keep him on if they're not paying him and he was fired. Howard said he's going to keep making fun of the guy. He said he's hoping he has no power. Robin said that's just not kosher that he's not fit to lead the company but it's okay to have him advise you in secret. Howard said Les is working behind the scenes like Ronnie.
Robin read a story about how Donald Trump will be going to visit the Carolinas today to see the damage from Florence. Robin said he made a statement about it yesterday. Robin had a clip for Howard to play. Trump said this was one of the wettest hurricane's we've had ''from the standpoint of water.'' Robin said that it is water. Howard said when they had rain when he was a kid it wasn't as wet. Trump said this has been a really tough one. Robin said they got hit with a lot of wet rain down there.
Robin read a story about a guy who is saying that this woman who is accusing Judge Kavanaugh of assaulting her has been threatened and she had to move out of her house. Robin said that she wants a full investigation into this alleged assault. Robin said they are going to do an investigation instead of just getting this through the committee.
Robin said that things are moving in the right direction in Korea. Robin said Trump is saying that things are going well for the South Korean and North Korean leaders who have been meeting. Robin said that they are going to allow inspections for their nuclear weapons and things like that.
Robin read a story about how they say they're losing track of some of the kids separated from their parents at the border. Robin said they say that about 1500 kids have been misplaced.
Robin read a story about Elizabeth Smart speaking out about one of her captors getting released. Robin had some audio of her dad talking about that. Robin said they say that they will keep an eye on this woman and if she screws up she'll go back to prison for the full sentence.
Robin read a story about Peter Jackson may speak out against Harvey Weinstein in the Ashley Judd case.
Robin quickly mentioned that Stormy Daniels has described Donald's penis in her book and said it was like a toadstool. Howard said he didn't get the Yeti mention about his hair. Robin said that's a hairy monster. Howard said it must have been long. Howard said Fred has Yeti hair and asked to see it. Fred just laughed.
Robin said that Howard can't get Melania's accent down. Howard said he does it like his Heidi Klum accent. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Today's game was over around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 11:05am.