| Monday | Tuesday |
|
|
| Wednesday | Thursday |
|
|
| Friday | |
|
|
Howard and the guys were back from their summer vacation this morning. Howard started the show talking about Rob Zombie being a musical genius. He said he was in the studio with him years ago and it's something to see. He said he knows how to put together songs. He was working with a Nine Inch Nails type and they were in collaborating and he watched them record. He said he's very at home in the studio. He said he's not even sure if Rob plays an instrument. He asked Fred if he knows. Fred said he is a musical genius but he doesn't have to play an instrument. Howard said he was using mixing boards and stuff. Fred said he created a vibe. Howard said that's it. He turned off Fred's microphone.
Howard said happy birthday to Fred. He started singing Happy Birthday to him but Fred said he hates that song. Howard said he thinks the Beatles hated it too because they tried to write their own. He said McCartney did a good job with that. Howard said Will was telling him that McCartney put out a new song and he loves it. He said he's going around singing it.
Howard said he asked Richard Simmons to record a message for Fred's birthday. He said he's in hiding now though. He said that Richard sued the National Enquirer for claiming he's transitioning into a woman. Robin said they dismissed that suit. Howard said they did. He said if you write an article about that it's not necessarily disparaging. Gary said he thinks he had to pay their legal fees too. Howard said the judge ordered Richard to become a woman. He said it's weird that they made Richard pay. He said if someone wrote an article like that about him he'd want to sue too.
Howard said Richard cut this for Fred's birthday. He played the bit where they had Richard talking about Fred's birthday. They had Richard laughing about him getting another year older. Howard said he has energy. Fred said Richard is 70. Howard played a song that fake Richard sang for Fred.
Howard said they should have had Richard play the Joker. He said he's always laughing. Howard asked Fred how old he is. Fred said he's 63. Robin said he's a baby. Howard asked if he feels his age. Fred said he does when he exercises. He said he feels it in his back and knees. He said he's at the point where the pain is going away because he's getting back in shape. Howard said he's doing the same and he's happy to hear that. He said he thinks he's getting close tog getting to that point.
Howard asked Fred if he has a new hair style. Fred said no. He said he just got out of the shower and didn't do anything. Howard said that's the same as Moe from the Three Stooges. Robin said he's very flat today.
Howard said while they were away Ringo Starr had a birthday like Fred. He said Ringo asked everyone to take some time to say ''Peace and love, peace and love, peace and love'' at noon. Howard played a clip of Ringo talking about that.
Howard said Ringo loves that ''peace and love.'' He played more of Ringo saying that. Howard said he asked for that for his birthday. He said an entire insane asylum.
Robin said that his family wasn't thrilled with him doing the show. Howard said he has more on that. He said he's going to wait until the next segment and they'll do a proper obituary for Dave. He said he'll bring in the guys and they'll give him a great send off.
Howard said while they were off the World Cup was going on. He said people waste so much time on that. He said if you took that time and put it into learning an instrument or painting or something then they could enjoy their lives more. Robin said they enjoy their lives watching that stuff. Howard said he heard about someone watching for 6 hours. Robin said she knows there were a lot of people in the royal box. She said it can be very thrilling to watch.
Howard said the World Cub is very exciting. He said he saw guys screaming and yelling about it. He said he was out with some guys and they were watching TV the whole time. Robin said she went out one night and one of those matches was on. She said they were doing penalty kicks and it lasted about 5 minutes. She said she had a lot of fun in that 5 minutes. Howard asked what bar she's going to. Robin said it's a bar for the blind. Howard asked if people come up to her asking what's going on. Robin said that day she got to be just another person sitting at the bar. She said everyone was watching TV.
Howard said he loves some of the over the top reactions to the World Cup stuff. He said after Denmark scored the announcer did a huge ''Goal'' call. He played some of the audio of that.
Howard said JD sent him this clip of an announcer doing the longest ''Goal'' ever. He said it goes on for about 18 seconds. He said there's a second one that goes on for 20 seconds. He played that clip. He said he's so glad he speaks English. He said don't talk down to him. He said he thinks the guy suffered a brain aneurysm after that.
Robin asked how anyone can enjoy that. Howard said he'd be pissed off if he had to listen to that. He said that you're treating people like they're idiots.
Howard played another announcer screaming about a goal being scored. He got a chuckle out of that. Howard said it's like a guy doing an impression of a guy getting murdered and cumming at the same time.
Howard took a call from one of the guys in the back who said he was in Paris and they're still celebrating over there. He had a bunch of sound effects playing with car alarms going off and people throwing shit. Howard said that's some celebration. Robin said she wondered if they get crazy in France like over here. Howard said just listen. Robin said she heard 3 people died celebrating. Howard said of course. He said what a horrible way to go.
Howard said there was a total of 169 goals scored in the World Cup. He said that he can't even comprehend people reacting like that to goals. Robin said she read about the 3 people dying and she saw that the police had to come out and break things up. Howard said the fans ate the corpses because they were so happy.
Howard said the World Cup isn't the only place where they celebrate like that. He had a clip from Japan where they were reacting to the end of the Indy 500 like that. He played the clip and the announcers were freaking out about the end of the race.
Howard said that sounds like the news guys in the Godzilla movies. He said there were always two of them and they sounded like that. Howard said those guys were happy that a Japanese guy won the Indy 500.
Howard and Robin read about the people who died celebrating the World Cup. Howard said he sees the world around him getting excited about nonsense. He said he wishes he had that ability. He said he doesn't react like that after having sex. Howard said one guy jumped into a canal and broke his neck celebrating. Robin read a few of the other reasons people died.
Howard said no one is calling into those internet shows. He said they always leave him on too long when they take his calls. He said he told that guy off. Howard said he loves when people fight with a tape recording of him.
Howard said he got emotional this morning. He said he walked into Richard and Sal's office. He said they remade their office over the vacation. He said it's amazing that technology is so advanced that they put everything on an iPad. He said that they have so much room in there now. He said din his lifetime he's seen equipment gone from a whole room of stuff to an iPad. He said that their office is very nice now. He said he hopes they don't personalize it. He said that it looks too nice. He said they just put a lot of money into it. He said Richard told him they did all of this to record songs about Ronnie pegging. Howard said he got so emotional about it. He said it used to be a mess in studios and now they can use an iPad.
Howard said they did JD's office too. He said the contractor said there was like a half inch of dust on everything in there. He said maybe JD shouldn't eat in here anymore. He said he should get rid of the shit he has in there too. He said he has to get rid of all of that shit. He said he's getting married so he should get rid of the posters of girls. JD said he doesn't have them in there now. He said he has a poster of Johnny Weir in there. He said he thought it was funny. Howard said he's not funny. Howard asked why the poster is funny. JD said it was a funny painting. Howard said he's a master athlete and he's goofing on him. He asked if he finds it odd that he's laughing at that. JD said it was a joke. Howard said Johnny could kick his ass but JD is laughing at him.
Howard asked if any gay people are invited to his wedding. Robin said of course not. Howard said JD is an Alpha and he hangs a Johnny Weir poster on his wall to make fun of it. JD said it's just a funny painting to him. Howard asked why it's so funny. JD said it was just something interesting to look at. Howard asked why. JD said he doesn't know.
Jason came in and said that JD had an American Idol TV tray. He said he thinks that he finds it funny to have that in there too. JD said that everyone else is funnier than him. Robin said she always found it odd that he had that poster in there. She said she never asked about it but it was interesting. Robin said she thought maybe he was a fan.
Howard said he thinks that JD is just showing that he's a real man and Johnny is a gay man so he's better than him. Howard asked if he hung that back up after they cleared his office out. JD said they didn't take it down. Howard said it's 2018 so maybe it's enough of the homophobia. JD said he just took it down. Howard asked why he did that. JD said because they're putting thoughts out there that he's not thinking. He said he just thought it was a ridiculous painting. He said that's why he put it up. Howard asked why he doesn't hang a picture of Chuck Norris. JD said if it was a goofy thing he would.
Howard was doing his impression of JD and asked Jason if there really was a half inch of dust in there. Jason said that's what he heard. He said he heard there were crumbs in there the next day too. JD said that's not true. Howard said what happens is that he slouches in his chair and if he sat up straight there would be less crumbs. He said then maybe he'd have a body like Johnny Weir's.
Will came in and said it looked like that office was covered in mold. He said he talked to the guy about it. He said he has one shelf of porn and that was untouched. Howard said he should get rid of that. Jason said he heard JD was embarrassed by that and he turned his porn around. JD said that story is wrong. Gary said that he had approved of a tour to go on and this person asked about the porn collection so he asked JD to get rid of it and he just turned it around.
Howard asked if they mentioned the painting in there. Gary said that the porn is on DVD and no one even has a DVD player. Jason said he has like 3 copies of all of it too. JD said he has it ''just in case.''
Will told Howard some of the stuff he has in there. Gary went in and pulled some of the DVDs to read the titles to Howard. JD had some of that stuff in there to pull clips from. Jason said JD doesn't know how some of it happened. JD told him to shut up. Howard said he's making fun of Johnny Weir. JD said he did like his realty show. Robin said that's an after thought.
Gary was looking at a gay porn and it was called ''Shut up and fuck me.'' Howard said JD must think that's funny. Jason said he's in a glass office so he can't hide all of that.
Howard said he's thinking of getting a feed bag for JD so he doesn't get crumbs all over. Will said one of the things people get to see on a tour is seeing JD eat. Howard said he has crumbs because he's not eating over the food.
Jason said his new desk is very high and his chair is too so his feet dangle from the chair. Howard asked why they made it so high. JD said he doesn't know. He said it's fine for him. Will said they're trying to get him to stand. Robin said maybe it's so he can see the porn on the high shelf.
Jason said he has a box in there to put his feet on. JD said that's the stuff he has to figure out what to do with. He told Jason to fuck off. Jason told him to take a walk once in a while. JD told him to take off his coat.
Howard asked where he got the Johnny Weir painting. JD said it got sent there. He said he thought it would be funny to have it presented on his wall. He said he just thought it would be something so he didn't have a bare wall there. Robin asked him to tell the truth. JD said he thought it was an over the top painting that would be something to hang in his office. Howard said he's going to do a painting of JD and send it to Johnny Weir to hang on his wall.
Howard asked how great it would be if they went to Johnny's house and he has a JD painting on his wall. Jason said if he had one on his wall there would be no question that he was goofing on JD. Jason said that paining was huge in his office. Howard said he should treat that office with respect. He said he should get rid of the bobble heads he has. JD said he hasn't put them up. He said he's not sure what he's going to do yet.
Howard said he has issues because his mom never let him hang anything on his walls. He said it's like he grew up in a hotel. He said he never did put anything of his own up. He said when he left the house his mom didn't have to do anything to his room. He said she just left it and it didn't look like he lived there. Howard said he got scolded for leaving a t-shirt on the bed one day. He said that his mom said that was her room and he was disrespecting her. He did his mom's voice and said that she hit him with a wood hanger.
Howard said his dad was the one who came up with the hanger idea. He said his mom would complain that her hand hurt. He said his dad told her to use the hanger. He said he was a great guy. He said he'd detach the bottom part so she had a weapon to use on him. He said that's why he has a good relationship with women.
Howard said he should tell JD to clean up like his mom did. He did her voice again and told JD not to junk up the office. Will said JD has no idea how to live like that. He said he has never been able to keep things clean. Robin said he's like Schroeder with his dust cloud following him around.
Howard said they should do a video for the app where they have JD like an animal in My Fair Lady. He asked JD if he can keep that office neat and tidy. JD said he will do the best he can. Howard said he can't believe they're back from vacation and yelling at JD. Jason said that he wonders if his apartment was a mess when his girlfriend went away for 4 days. JD said it wasn't.
Howard said he wants Johnny Weir to come up there and kick JD's ass. Howard said they know what he's implying by putting that painting up. JD said that his reasons aren't good enough apparently. Robin said there's something inside him that says Johnny is funny. JD said that it's an outlandish thing. Fred said he thinks that he just likes his place like his place. Howard said he's so deep. He said he must think he's making fun of Johnny. Fred said there might be a touch of that going on.
Robin asked if anyone has ever come in and had the same reaction to the poster that JD has. JD said yes and no and yes and no. Howard asked Fred the same question and had him do his JD impression.
Howard asked JD who is funnier, Liberace, Johnny Weir or Barry Manilow. Fred did his JD impression answering that. He was going over all of that in his mixed up mind. Howard asked which one of those is funniest on his wall. JD said ''This is such a loaded... no!'' Howard said he has to give an answer. JD said he's not going to get into this. He said he's not going to make people think he's homophobic.
Howard said last night on 60 Minutes they were talking about taking down the statues of the Civil War generals. He said a black guy thought it would be erasing history so he doesn't want them taken down. Howard said he thinks JD should leave that Johnny Weir painting up and put up a plaque that says you're about to see a painting that JD put up and he was trying to make a statement. Will said the painting has been up for 10 years. He said times have changed. Jason said maybe in 2008 it wasn't as offensive as it is now. Howard said it was. He said he thinks JD is like the bully in high school. JD said that everyone is out of their minds right now. Howard said it's like saying that he's one of the cool guys and he's saying ''look at this fruit cake.'' JD said that's why it's being taken down.
Howard said he thinks they should keep it and preserve history. He told JD to hang it back up. JD said they can call facilities and put it back up. He said he's not putting it back up. JD said they can hang it in the hallway by his office. Howard said that's close to his office. Gary said Howard got that painting but he threw it away. JD saved it and put it up. Robin said JD thinks it's a hoot so he had to hang it on the wall. Fred played a hooting owl sound. He plays that for JD quite often.
Howard said JD found the one guy he can make fun of. He said meanwhile he'd probably beat JD in an arm wrestling contest. Robin said he says it's over the top. She asked what that is. Jason said to JD a t-shirt with a hole in it is over the top. Will said it's a new office but the same old attitude.
Howard asked JD to vow to him that he'll keep that office clean. JD said he'll do his best. Howard said he'd like him to keep it nice and clean. Will asked him to lose a few pounds too. Howard said one thing at a time.
Howard asked if anyone wants to hear from JD's number 1 fan. He picked up on The Lump who said that he thinks that this poster is hilarious. He said he shouldn't change a thing in there. He said he should keep it up. He said he should hang an Amos and Andy poster while he's at it.
Howard played a song parody about JD's office being covered in dust. They went to break after that.
After the break Howard asked if Gary met with a doctor about his phlegm. Gary said he did. He said he was put on a new medication. Sal laughed and asked what's going on in that throat. He said they don't need medication for phlegm. Gary said the doctor said it might take over a month to start working. Howard asked if he'll stop hearing him clearing his throat. Sal said he sounds like a car backing up.
Howard asked what he's on. Gary said this is an acid reflux medication. Howard said he wants to say something. He said he's going to give him a tip and get off all the medications. He said he should read Dr. Sarno's book that he wrote before he died. He said that it was the most recently published book. He said that Gary is so worked up over it that it's a distraction. He said he should drop it. Howard asked how many medications he's on. Gary said it's 2.
Jason said that Gary is a mess. He said a few months ago his arm hurt and then months after that he had pain in the there arm.
Howard said he had Gary over during vacation and he talked to him about the doctor visit for the phlegm. He said he told him not to go. He said he doesn't need medication. Gary said he was taking it for the acid reflux. Howard said he can stop that if he reads that book. Gary said it hurts though. Howard said stop it with the heart burn.
Gary said he saw 4 doctors over vacation. He said he saw his orthopedist. Sal said Robin has less doctors. He said he has 4 just for his mouth.
Gary said he saw the doctor for his tennis elbow. He said that he's not sure how he got that but he has it. Howard said you only get it from playing tennis. Gary said you can get it other ways. He said then he went to the EMT for the acid reflux. He said then he had to get an x-ray for the kidney stones. He said then he went to the eye doctor. Jason said that he has the largest font on his phone that he's ever seen. Gary said the eyesight goes really fast when you get older.
Howard played a song parody with Gary's throat clearing. It was to the tune of a Van Halen song. Howard said he loves Van Halen so much. He said they were so great with both David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar. He said he saw them in concert with Sammy and it blew his fucking mind. He said he watched that Jiminy Glick interview with Dennis Miller and Steve Martin and that was the funniest fucking bit Martin Short ever did. Howard said it's such a great character. Robin said he was great on Saturday Night Live with that character. The guys told her it wasn't on Saturday Night Live. will said that guy doesn't get the respect he deserves. He said the new Netflix special he has with Steve Martin is great.
Howard said Martin was great on SCTV. He said he moved over to Saturday Night Live and he was great on there. Gary said he did a movie where he plays a 13 year old and it's hilarious. They said it's called ''Clifford.''
Howard asked if he can hang out with Larry if he comes to town. Sal said he thinks so. He said that his wife is in touch with Teresa and she has no problem with him. Sal said they do ask her if she's comfortable with all of that.
Howard asked if the new girlfriend can talk to dead people. Sal said he hasn't met her yet. Howard asked if Sal would date Teresa if he was single. Sal said she's not his type. He said she's beautiful though. He said that he would do her if he wasn't married. Howard said he is attracted to her then. Sal said she is doable by his standards. Howard said she's still the Long Island Medium. Robin asked why she wasn't able to see it coming. Sal said maybe she did.
Howard said he heard the new girlfriend is a pet psychic. Sal said he doesn't know about that. Will asked if he's getting Larry's hand me downs. Sal said he did before he left. He said he has some nice John Varvatos stuff. He said he's out in Los Angeles now so he doesn't need all of this stuff. He said Larry gets bored with that stuff.
Howard said Jason and JD are in there too. He said that they're all in there. Will said JD is the office homophobe. JD said he's just sitting there.
Howard said they're all there to do a tribute to Evil Dave whose name was Dave VanDam. He said he was 63 years old. Howard said he heard something about colon cancer but he can't confirm that. He said Dave wasn't an impressionist. He said he was just a random guy who sounded exactly like David Letterman. He said the first time he called the show was in 1999. He called in to talk shit about Jay Leno. Howard played a clip of Dave's first call.
Howard said they realized they had gold but he wasn't so good with his own material. He said they'd have him read their lines and they learned he couldn't read. Howard said they would get him to say horrible things as David Letterman. He said that they tried to get him to adopt a black child in a phony phone call. He played that call where Dave called an adoption agency trying to adopt a black child. They had Dave saying all kinds of offensive things.
Howard said Dave was gone way too soon. Robin asked how long he was ill. Gary said they don't know. He said he read about it on Facebook. Howard said he heard about it and tried calling Robin like 67 times. Robin said she tried calling him. Howard said he didn't leave her a message. He said he left one or two. He said they kept missing each other. He said he didn't want her being shocked by this news.
Howard said he has another phony phone call where they had Dave call a gay bath house as David Letterman. Howard played that one and they had Dave asking the guy at the bath house about towel boys and about the guy's cock size. They had the guy on the phone cracking up.
Howard said that is so great. Robin said that's her favorite one. Howard said the thing that comes to his mind is that the real Dave got really upset about this. Gary said they had Dave on when the real Dave was in the hospital. He said that they got a call from Dave's producer asking them to cut it out. Howard said he thought Dave would love it.
Howard said Evil Dave can't do impressions. He said that Dave said he could do other impressions though. He said they had Dave doing impressions and they were all horrible. They had Dave doing Grandpa Munster and Herman Munster. They all sounded like Letterman. Howard said they asked Dave to find another impression to do because Letterman was retiring. He said that's all Dave could do. He said what a pisser that guy was.
Howard said Dave's Letterman was so good that he didn't need another impression. Howard said in 2010 Alec Baldwin called in and said he could not believe how good that impression was. He played a clip of Alec talking about that.
Howard said Dave was very difficult to work with. Will said there were a few things about him. He said that they'd write this material and rehears it 3 or 4 times and he'd always fuck it up. He said Fred would get so angry over it. He said then he wasn't allowed to come to the show because his wife wasn't thrilled with it. Gary said that Dave brought in a woman one time and his wife got upset with him for that whole thing. He said she started yelling at him for fucking up his whole family. Gary said that she said to him that ''you know he's a fucking idiot, right?'' Gary said they knew nothing about this woman Dave brought in. He said they didn't know he was doing a bit. Howard said Dave always wanted to do his own material but they told him to stick to what they wrote for him.
Jason said that Will had to baby sit him and point to the jokes they wrote for him. Howard said he always told him not to do his own material.
Will said that he has a clip of him rehearsing with Dave. Howard played a clip and Dave could not get the name Rihanna right. He wasn't able to get any of his lines right. Will said Dave would record in his studio and he didn't have a cell phone. Howard asked why everyone is dying on them. Will said no matter how much they rehearsed with him he insisted on reading his own jokes. He said they were terrible jokes.
Gary said he would sit him down and tell him that he had to stick to their material and he would always get into his own stuff. Howard played a clip of Dave saying ''One other thing...'' Howard said that's when they knew he was getting into his own material. Howard played more of the clip where Dave told his own joke about his CBS health care and having Dr. Phil as his doctor. It didn't go over that well.
Gary said after he pissed his wife off they cut him off from the show. He said they had to contact him through work. He said that he would go to a gas station and wait to be picked up to go to a studio in Chicago so he could do it without his wife knowing about it. Howard said it was like the Israeli secret service.
Howard asked Sal about his memories of Dave. Sal said he loved freebies and he loved orange juice. He said one time he came in and asked for orange juice. He said he scooped up like 6. He said he drank them all down at once. He said after a few lines he wanted more. He said that there were like 6 empties there and he wanted more. Howard had a clip of Dave asking for more orange juice during a recording session. Howard said when they did the autopsy he was 80 percent orange juice.
Gary said he was in town once and Dave asked if they had anything to use. He said he had a gift certificate that he gave him and after that he would ask for stuff every time he was in town. He said he'd ask for whatever they had.
Howard played more of the orange juice clip where Dave just kept drinking and asking for more. He was clearing his throat too. Robin said juice is terrible for your voice.
Howard took a call from Balls who said every time he hears that orange juice clip he pisses his pants but the funniest thing is when he was chewing the potato chips. Sal said they had chips for him whenever he came in. Howard played a clip of Dave chewing the chips in studio during a recording session. He was crumpling the bag and chewing on microphone.
Howard said they could have gotten this done in 10 minutes but he would have to have his chips. Howard said the guy wasn't overweight. Sal said he wasn't that thin. Howard said he loves that line where he asks where they get the chips. He said it's in a supermarket. Sal said they're from a supermarket. Howard said he was the best. He said he hates that everyone is dying. He said no more Eric the Actor, Crackhead Bob, Nicole Bass, Hank the Dwarf and more. Howard said he ate those chips like he was starving.
Gary said Dave was very child like and he was very charming. He said they really liked the guy. They all said he was a very nice guy.
Robin said she loved when he had to make that apology. Howard said this clip that Gary is going to set up is the best. Gary said that they were going to take a clip of Evil Dave and use it to call Dave as the real Dave. Gary said he didn't think he'd fall for it but he did. Howard played a clip of Dave talking to himself thinking he was talking to the real Letterman. They had audio of Evil Dave telling himself that he was talking to himself.
Howard said they recorded that audio 2 years in advance of making that call. He said he may not have ever known he was talking to himself. Howard said that is brilliant. He said just for that call your subscription is worth the cost.
Howard said Dave wast able to pronounce anything. Gary said they tried to get him to say bestiality. Howard played a clip of Dave trying to say it and not being able to get it.
Gary said Dave was doing a bunch of jokes and he said something about a ''public wing.'' He said that it was supposed to be ''pubic wig'' and that's when they knew he couldn't read.
Howard played a clip of Dave mispronouncing names. They had him messing up a ton of names. Howard said he loves that guy. He said that's good stuff. Robin said he was amazing. She said you wondered what he was going for. Howard said he thought about talking to him ask himself but he never did.
Howard said he has Evil Dave from heaven on the phone. He said he thought it would take longer to get him. He took the call and Dave did a top 10 list for him. They had Dave telling Robin to shut up and things like that. They had Dave saying some weird stuff that was cracking the guys up.
Howard said he really misses Dave. He said he should go haunt the real David Letterman. He let Dave's ghost go after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who took a bong hit for Dave. He said Dave was one of the funniest people on the show. Howard said he just did a bong hit tribute to Dave. Howard told him to do another bong hit. He did that and started coughing. Howard asked the caller, Chris, if he can do a Letterman impression. Chris said he can't. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said last time the real Dave was on the show he had a good sense of humor about Evil Dave. He played a clip of Dave talking about how he has people telling him he hears about being on his show all the time but he hasn't been on in years.
Will said he thinks Dave hated the impression. Howard said he though about bringing Evil Dave on the show with him once but he had no control over Dave so he didn't do it.
Howard said Evil Dave will be missed. He played a song parody about Dave being missed. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said Miley was good on the show. He said he should take some calls and check in with some people. Robin said she was talking to someone who has a Miley Cyrus tattoo. Howard said that's Fred. He said talking about tattoos Brent is very interesting to him. He said Brent used to work for Bubba. He said he came there and someone told him that he wants to get a tattoo once a month for a year. He said that's weird. He said he thinks that's odd. He said he made a vow to get a tattoo every month.
Brent came in and said he thinks you look better as you get older if you have tattoos. Howard said he had better get to the tattoo place. Brent said he read an article where they had like 25 people who looked a lot younger with tattoos. He said that he would never get anything above the neck though. Howard said he was reading about that rapper who got killed and he had the number 69 on his face. He said that's not a good idea. Howard asked what his name was. Jason said it was XXXTentacion.
Howard asked if Brent is going to get covered in tattoos. Brent said that's his plan. He said he likes tattoos and he thinks they look good as you get older. He said a lot of people have them these days too. Howard asked what band he got on him. Brent said it's Lamb of God. He said they're a metal band that's not into god at all. He said he's into their sound and their art. Howard asked to see the tattoo. Brent showed it to him. Howard said ''Oh Jesus... that's a big tattoo.'' He asked if that's satanic. Brent said it has a lamb instead of a goat. Howard said it has the star of satan. Fred played Jim Breuer making goat sounds. He also played some Lamb of God for Howard to hear.
Brent said that he's going to see them in concert again soon. He's only seen them once. Howard said he has only heard them once but he got a tattoo for them. Howard said he heard that Shuli was annoyed by him getting the tattoo. He said that he has seen them a bunch of times in concert and Brent has only gone once. Brent said he's a big fan though.
Howard asked Brent how old he is. He said he's 47. Howard said he heard he's taking singing lessons to learn to sign like this. Brent said he's learning to do vocals like they do. He said he hasn't leaned anything yet. Howard asked him to attempt it. Brent tried for a split second but gave up. Shuli laughed.
Howard asked Shuli about how he got into them. Shuli said he's been a fan of metal for years. Shuli said Brent goes over board with stuff. He said that he carries himself like he's been a fan for 30 years. Brent said he admitted that he's late for the party. Shuli said that he put a poster up of Aman Amarth the day after going to see them in concert for the first time. He said he also gets into sports like that too. He said he'll wear football outfits to work and they're Florida teams. Howard said he has gone all in on Lamb of God now.
Howard said he's glad he got that tattoo because it reminds him not to go out to dinner with him. He said that's a great reason not to hang out with the guy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Brent is an idiot for starting with the tattoos at 47. He said Howard is paying them too much if they can do that. the guy said how about spending money on a kid's college or something. Brent said he doesn't have any kids.
Howard said he will mention that he wears Iron Maiden sneakers too. Howard said maybe that guy made a good point about paying him too much. Brent said that Howard convinced him to get rid of the hoop earrings too. He said they were getting too old for that. Howard said he was and he remembers wanting them so bad. He said he was already 40 when he got his. Robin said Howard wore his for a few years. Robin said a tasteful stud is fine. Howard said the Lamb of God thing is just great.
Howard was looking at the tattoos and asked about another one. Brent said that's the Blackbeard flag. Robin asked about something on his shoulder. Brent said that's the Misfits. Shuli said Brent is a very proud atheist.
Howard said one tattoo is worse than the next. Robin asked if he's just starting with the tattoo a month. Brent said he is. Howard said good for you Brent. He asked what's next. Brent said he's going to get a Joker on his arm and his wife's cousin is a comic book artist so he has an original drawing to use. Howard said they have a lot to look forward to. He said there's no mid life crisis here.
Howard let Brent go and said he can stay away from him. Robin said Brent invited her to lunch the other day and she said she was busy because of the weird stuff they talked about with him on the show.
Howard said all of this stuff is very positive about Scott. Howard played a song that Ned did about Scott being ''the man.'' Howard said he thinks that this might just dredge up the shit he said about Scott. Robin asked if Bubba is serious. Howard said these songs started rolling into his email so fast. Robin said that Bubba ruined a relationship and now he thinks some songs will take care of it.
Howard said that he heard Scott is working on a song called ''No thanks.'' Howard played another song parody the guys at Bubba's show wrote for Scott. They were kissing his ass trying to get back on Sirius.
Howard said over vacation he tries not to check his email. He said he was trying not to get stressed out. He said he'd have like 50 emails from Bubba. He said he'd write saying that he knows he doesn't like the songs. Howard said he thinks they're funny but he's on vacation. He said he wrote back and said if he writes like 300 more Scott might buckle.
Howard said congratulations to Bubba on his law suits. Robin said she hopes he stays on the straight and narrow and doesn't get into more of that crap.
Howard said that Roseanne is writing songs about how great ABC is. He said that Bubba asked if they should rent a flat bed truck and sing songs for Scott in front of the building. Howard said he told him that's a good idea. Robin said don't have him spending money on a truck. Howard said that might not work.
Robin said they try to get the Grammys back there for the same reason. Howard said he hates that people are trying to expose the governor as some kind of dupe for this. Robin said you want TV shows done there that go on TV. Robin said you want movies and TV shows filmed there.
Jim asked if they would have left the city if they didn't have the tax breaks. Howard said you don't know. He said a lot of guests live in L.a. though so maybe it would make sense to move out there. Howard said they do a show there and you can guess when guests wont travel to the city. He said that he thinks it was a brilliant move to give the breaks.
Jim asked Howard if he had to answer today if he would sign again for more time on Sirius what would he say. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he was on vacation and he found himself more depressed than ever. Robin said the weather was great. Howard said he gets the feeling of doom and gloom and he's not sure how to deal with it. He said he paints and that helps. He said he was down on the Hudson river painting with people. Robin said this stuff doesn't seem to help. Howard said he has some weird issue.
Robin said he should have come to laugher yoga with her. Howard said even the name turns him off. He asked if she really went to that. Robin said yes.
Howard said when the contract is up he'll evaluate what's going on. He said he really doesn't know what he's going to do. He said he doesn't know himself as well as he should. He said when he's working he hates it. He said when he's on vacation he thinks he misses it. Robin asked if he feels better when he's working. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he's miserable. He said he has to wait and see.
Howard said he could be there the rest of his life. He said he could drop dead. He said he might go off into the sunset. He said he really doesn't know. He said he wishes he knew himself. He said he's not looking to negotiate.
Howard said Jerry Seinfeld is very positive and you never hear him saying he hates anything. Robin said he thinks he's doing a great service to the public. Howard said he is. He said Jerry once asked him ''How dare you?'' and pointed out that he can't complain about the show and how important the show is in his life. He said he finds a way. He said he's not sure what to tell him. Robin said he doesn't enjoy doing the show and Jerry can't understand that. Jim said Jerry has to come up with an hour ever 3 or 4 years. He said Howard has to come up with stuff every day. Howard said Jerry still writes jokes every day. He said Jerry says he couldn't live his life without jokes.
Howard said he was telling Jerry a story one time about being on vacation somewhere. He said he was going off to Mexico or St. Barths. He said that he hates everything. He said he hated going there. He said he was swimming out there and someone asked him what yacht he was going on. He said no one invited him there. He said he was in the water and a guy came over to him and started talking to him. He said he was a lovely guy. He said he was talking his head off. He said then the guy left and it turns out the guy was from the Daily News. He said he was interviewing him and he didn't even realize it. He said he told that to Jerry Seinfeld and he asked why he worries about it. He said he never says anything ever that he wouldn't want in a newspaper. He said that way he never has to worry about anything. Howard said he can't do that but it was good advice. He said that's a very wise way to live your life.
Robin said Jerry doesn't let his fame get in the way of going out and having fun. Howard said maybe he's the new guy. Robin said she's very impressed with Jerry.
Jim asked if Howard has to think about everything he says. Howard said of course. He said you have to be very careful about what you say. He said you're broadcasting. He said people lose their jobs all the time over one stupid joke. Howard said he walks the line. He said there are so many people who would love to get him off the air. He said people hate him for thriving in this business. He said they make shit up and it happens all the time.
Howard said on RadarOnline there's someone there who has it in for him. He said that they post stuff all the time. Howard said they said that Tommy Lee wanted to kick his ass over saying that he made Heather Locklear nuts. Howard said he was talking to Robin about Heather and how great she had been to him over the years. He said he was joking about how maybe it was the big cocks of Tommy Lee and Richie Sambora that drove her crazy. Howard said it wasn't a great joke but it was a funny thing. He said that he didn't think anything of it. He said then he read that Tommy Lee was upset with him over the joke. He said he saw this article about how he had ''slammed'' Richie Sambora and Tommy Lee. He said that this left out the penis comment. He said it was such an obvious joke. He said they just left out the joke in the article. Howard said he likes Tommy Lee. He said he is a fan of his drumming. He said he has no beef with him.
Howard said he was joking about his huge cock. He said these people at RadarOnline wrote this article to make him seem like a scumbag. He said the article was absurd. Jim said it's fake news. Howard said it really is. He said no one is a fan of Tommy's cock more than him. He said Tommy wrote viscous things about him. Howard said he's just letting Tommy be mad at him because it's good promotion. He said he's sure some fan sent him the audio at some point. He said Richie knows he didn't say he was responsible. He said Tommy is sensitive to that stuff. Howard said if he had heard the show he would have laughed. He said Tommy was set up.
Howard said he doesn't really care if Tommy is upset. He said that he wrote that he should say something sensitive and nice about Heather. Howard said he didn't know hate he actually had.
Howard said there are people out to get him and that's what he was trying to say. He said that people get the joke usually. Howard let Jim go after that.
Howard said people are desperate to sell or get followers. He said that might be a David Pecker organization. He said that's the people at the National Enquirer. He said he might have to look into that. He said he really doesn't care though.
Howard said that he said that Tommy's cock drove her crazy. He said they left that out of the article. He said his wife wanted him to call Tommy about it. He said he isn't going to call. He said you read stuff on the internet and you assume it's true. Then you find out it's horse shit.
Howard said he knows those assholes confronted Robin at her door when she was going through her cancer battle. He said that they should print what they do.
Howard said that he has Robin's laughter yoga teacher on the phone. He picked up and Chris Wilding was playing the part of the teacher who was laughing that Robin spent $350 on that bullshit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he sees Howard and Robin being their best now. He said they have found this niche of a show and the haters can't take it. He said they can still have Wendy shit her pants on a Monday and then Gwyneth Paltrow do the best interview ever two days later. Howard said people come and go from the show. He said that people complain that he changes but he will continue to change.
The caller said that he remembers Howard taking over the local station where he lives and it really changed the whole station for the better. Howard and Robin thanked him for that.
Robin asked Howard what he would do if he found out that a friend of his was a mascot because she has a friend who is one. She said she's not able to say what he does exactly but that's his job. Howard said she has to get rid of that friend.
Howard said on The Bachelorette there's a guy who is a super good looking guy. He said he tells her that he's a virgin. He said he was thinking about that and he thought it was weird because the guy is 27 and he's really good looking. Howard said that's like this reaction to this mascot guy. Howard said he's glad that guy is a virgin but he doesn't look like it. He said JD is the kind of guy who looks like a 27 year old virgin.
Howard said he had thoughts about this guy and now maybe he's gay. He said that's probably not the case but that's the kind of thoughts he has.
Howard said the mascot must enjoy his life. Robin said that he must. She said she asked his son if he would do that and he was like ''No!'' Robin said that the kids don't think it's a cool job.
Howard said this guy on the Bachelorette could have some kind of sexual hang up. Robin said there must be things going on there. Howard said this Bachelorette had to walk away for a minute because she was freaking out. He said he wants the guy on the show to talk about it. He said he has to know what's going on there.
Howard took a call from a woman who said he has to do another movie. She said she has an idea for a script. She said that these Wack Packers die while he's on vacation so he could have a movie where he's killing them off so he has something to talk about on the air. Howard thanked her for the idea but that's ridiculous. Howard said he has been offered movies but he turns them down. He said he has had some recently too. Robin said he's talked about them on the air. Howard said he just got a note saying he's behind a break. He said he should take a break then. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he loves this song. He said he was listening to it on Lithium. He said Madison is on that channel. He said he works out every other day and listens to that. Robin said she thought he was working out. Howard said he is. He said he listens to that channel. He said Madison plays this and still talks to him. He said she was talking to him over vacation. He said it's kind of weird. He said she was talking about some interview they did. He said it was like he had a whole dialog going with her. Robin said tell his therapists that. Howard said he should lock him up.
Howard said this is a good song. He said he loves that Lithium channel. Robin said they have some great channels there. Howard said he only listens to maybe 2. Robin said she switches from Coffee House to Yacht Radio. Howard asked if that's a real thing. Robin said it is. Gary said it's called Yacht Rock. He told Howard what they play on that channel. Howard said he was on a Yacht once and they listened to Beck. Howard said he doesn't listen to that. Robin said it's great to listen to around the pool. Howard said he'd be embarrassed to listen to that. Robin said she was shocked there was a channel devoted to it on Sirius. Howard said they should have a homeless channel for people who can't have a yacht. Gary said it's just a kind of music. He said it's not for people who have Yachts. Robin said it hits a lot of levels. She said you can sing along to every tune.
Howard said he was on a yacht once in his life. He said it was after his divorce and a group of guys went out. He said he didn't have a wife or girlfriend. He said he had never just hung out with guys. He said they went to some island and they were just guys. He said they spent their time looking for women. He said he didn't fine one woman there. He said this place was huge. He said there were a lot of yentas from New York there. He said that this friend was running the place. He said that they took him to some other area so he could be left alone. He said he was completely sequestered. Robin asked what he did then. Howard said he had no idea how to get around. He said some photographer was in the palm trees taking pictures. He said if he was in good shape he'd be fine but he wasn't in good shape.
Howard said he looks thin in clothes but then he takes his clothes off and he's a mess. He said you look at him and wonder what's going on there. He said Robin hast seen him lately. He said he's got titties and a belly. He said it's all just falling apart.
Howard said he was on this trip on the yacht and this guy wanted him to use the thing. He said when he wasn't famous no one wanted him near them. He said no one even noticed him. He said they had the yacht for a couple of hours. He said they had a chef and a butler and more. He said he just wanted to go back to the hotel. He said then there was some weed and drinks. He said they put on some music and it was rock, not what Robin is talking about. He said they were men listening to hard rock, not soft rock.
Howard said he tried snorkeling and he almost drowned doing that. Robin said that's the easiest thing to do. She said she can't even swim. Howard said he had the fins on and he had to take them off. He said people see him and he has to take that off. Robin said that's how you get back to the boat. Howard said he just held his breath and went under water to look at the fish.
Howard said the guys told him to try out a jet ski. He said he went like 5 miles per hour. He said it wasn't fun for him. He said you see he's miserable. Robin said she sees people's lives changed after getting of a jet ski. Howard said he just gets annoyed. He said he's a grown ass man who doesn't need this. Robin said he's like one of her ex's. She said they went to a restaurant on a boat. She said he asked how long it would have taken to get there in a car. Howard said he liked that guy. He said he was right. Robin said it's the pleasure of the boating. Howard said he was looking at this cabin and he has that at home in his living room. He just didn't get it.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she was on a date with a guy who was really good looking and he was a virgin. She said she found out 5 dates in. She said that she thought about how she'd have to teach him how to have sex. She said they were both 27. She said it was super weird. She said there is no way she would do that with a virgin.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that yacht was fun but it was all guys. Howard forgot he was on there. Howard said it was Ralph and a few other guys. Ralph said it was Richie too. Howard said maybe they don't want to be mentioned. Ralph said Howard was on the other side of the island. Howard said they told him he could snorkel to the land mass over there. He said he thought about doing that. He said he put on the rubber fins and snorkel and he jumped in the water. He said he's a pretty good swimmer but he couldn't swim with the fins on. Howard said he got to the island and nothing was there. He said it was just a beach. Ralph said it was literally Gilligan's Island. He said it was where they shot Gilligan's Island. Howard said it was like 100 out and he was cold from the wind blowing on the yacht.
Howard said he forgot Ralph was on that yacht. Robin said that's why she was avoiding calling him. She said she fell. Howard said he knew she was keeping something from him. Robin said she didn't want to talk to him about that. Robin said she was going down the ramp to the boat. Howard said he can hear his mother now. He went right into her voice and talked about how she shouldn't be doing that. Robin said she stumbled on the last step and went over. She said she twisted her foot. Howard was still doing his mother's voice talking about how she shouldn't be carrying on like that.
Robin said she continued to get on the boat. Howard said he would have gotten upset if he had heard about that. Robin said she had so much fun on the boat. She knew Howard would scream at her. Howard said boats are for pirates. Ralph said that Robin does always hurt herself. Howard said she does. Fred played a clip of a guy falling. Robin said she knew Howard would tell her to just sit there and not do anything.
Howard said they had no chicks on that yacht. Ralph said it was the Atlantis. He said that hey put Howard in the exclusive part. He said that was like 5 miles away from the rest of them. Howard said that people were chasing him around down there. Ralph said the rest of them couldn't afford that part. Howard said he was in a nice area and the guys were in the dumpy part with the riff raff. Ralph said they weren't able to find each other. Howard said that was the last time he was going anywhere. He said they did have a good time down there. He said it was a boy's weekend.
Howard said a bunch of girls ended up on the boat at the end. He said none of them wanted anything to do with them. Ralph said they were the servers or something. Howard said they were wealthy chicks. He said they wanted nothing to do with them. He said they saw him in his bathing suit and they got sea sick.
Howard said no one gets sexual feelings about him when he's in his bathing suit. Ralph said Howard gets bummed out so easy. He said he should be having such a great life. Howard asked what he would be doing if he were him. Ralph said with his money? He said he'd start the show at 8 to start. He said he'd do it a few days a week. Ralph said then he'd take off and have fun. Robin said he's doing his exact life. Ralph said he should be enjoying it though. Howard hung up on Ralph and said he can't believe that's his friend. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard took a call from Mike from Maine but he wasn't on the line so he hung up. Howard took a call from a woman who said that she knows what he should be doing to have a happier life. She said he should be going to Foo Fighter concerts. She said they're at the Garden tonight and tomorrow night. Howard said he has to go to bed at 8 so he can't go. Howard said Dave Grohl was a drummer in Nirvana and he's a front man now. He said he's like the only guy who has pulled off something like that. He said he did it. Robin said he was probably fronting his own band and then heard Kurt Cobain and thought he was better than him and had to be the drummer in that band. Howard said look at her making up stories.
Howard said they should do some news. Fred played her into it with a song parody. Howard said that was Joe Huge Cocker. It was a song about Robin's vibrator.
Robin started her news with a story about Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. Robin said that he's given Ariana his father's FDNY badge. Robin wondered what would happen if they broke up. Howard said he's sure she'd give it back to him. Howard said he's in love and not thinking about that. Howard said his dad died in 9/11 in the towers. He said Pete's badge was made into a pendant for Ariana. Howard said that's very sweet. He said Pete is smart. He said that chick is so fucking hot. Robin said you wait until marriage before you give that to her. Howard asked why. He said his father would be so proud to see him banging her. Howard said it's not easy to get hot chicks. He said he thinks that his father would be so happy. He said it's great. He said that he has himself a prize. He said she can sing and earn. He said she's hot so what's the problem? He said he'd do the same fucking thing. He said he was calling up everyone he was seeing when he met Beth. He said any father would want that for his boy. Howard said she even tweeted that he has a 10 inch cock. Then she erased it. Robin said he does have that big dick energy. Howard said he's a Pete Davidson kind of guy. He said that guy jumped on that.
Howard said he would perform the ceremony if Pete wants him to. He said he doesn't want to perform any of these things but he would do it for Pete and Ariana. He said Pete is doing the right thing. He said he'd tell him he was right on. He said he loves watching them together. He said he even dyed his hair blonde over vacation. Robin said he did the same thing with his previous girlfriend. Howard said Ariana is a big deal. Robin said she was dating someone big before this. Howard said she was dating Larry David's son. Howard said he's sure Pete will be fine if they break up some day. He said Pete is free to do whatever. He said he doesn't have to go on dates and all of that. He said now he has freedom. Robin said if he keeps this up he's going to have a body full of tattoos and it's going to be girl's names all crossed out. Howard said this makes even more girls want to fuck him. Robin asked if that works out if Ariana dumps you. Howard said it depends on how it all goes down. He said he hopes he doesn't burn out with the humor. Robin said that crap gets not too funny when things get serious. Howard said every woman he ever dated said that. Robin said she hopes they make it to the wedding. Robin said maybe they should do that next week.
Robin asked if Howard has seen Sacha Baron Cohen's new show. Howard said he has. He said he sent it to Jimmy and told him to get it to Howard. He said Jimmy said that if he wants to take a peek he can check it out. Robin said it debuted last night. Howard said he didn't know that. He thought it was debuting next week. Howard said Jimmy sent it to him this morning. Gary said the episode was on last night. He said he got home and it was on his DVR at 3 in the afternoon. It was released Midnight on Saturday. JD said it was a preview airing.
Howard said he loves when Sacha scams people. Robin said Sarah Palin was upset about that. Howard said Stuttering John got through to President Trump. Robin said he called him from Air Force One. Robin said John got through by calling every number he could and Jared Kushner hooked him up. Robin said John knew nothing about Senator Menendez but he got right through. Robin said no one vetted anything. Howard said he turned on the TV and John was all over the news. He said he heard Howard Stern Show mentioned and then he saw John being interviewed. He said they were kind of making it seem like he still works with them.
Howard said the Sacha Baron Cohen thing is so great. He said that Joe Walsh guy was fooled. Gary said he got a bunch of people in the gun rights groups. Howard said he's not sure why Jimmy took so long to get this link to him. Gary said he got Roy Moore too and he's threatening to sue. Robin said that she's loved him since the Ali G days. Gary said the Bernie Sanders thing was kind of boring but the gun people were fascinating. He said he got them to read stuff about giving guns to toddlers. He said they don't give a shit as long as it's pro-gun.
Robin read a story about Billy Bush's wife filing for divorce. Robin said she's asking for custody of their kids. Robin said she wants it as well as some assets. Howard said she didn't sign up to be with this guy. She thought he was going to be a big star. Howard said she ended up with this guy who is sitting home all day. Howard took a call from fake Billy Bush who was talking about what his life is like now. He was screaming like Sam Kinison. Howard spent a few minutes with fake Billy clips. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a guy running for city council who posted a topless picture of an ex. Robin said he was asked to drop out of the election because of that.
Robin read a story about a man who was on the subway with his child and he hit the child. Robin said another passenger got into an argument and the father pulled a knife and threatened a few people. Howard said he has to commend the guy who said something. He said that he would just go to another car. Robin asked if he did the kid a favor. Howard said he thinks you have to say something he thinks.
Robin read a story about a man driving a McLaren 720S speeding in Virginia and he had the car for a whole day. Robin said on that drive he crashed into a tree totalling the $300,000 car. Robin said this is one of those really fast cars. She said sometimes they have a button you're not supposed to push. She said it turns it into something that shouldn't be on the street. Fred said they put those on Porsches and you can end up wrapped around a tree. Howard asked what Fred drives. Fred said a Jeep Wrangler. He said he loves it. Robin said this guy had non-life threatening injuries. Robin said the car was totalled.
Robin read a story about Meghan Markle's dad saying that the Royal Family is ignoring him because he's taking money to do interviews. Howard said maybe they should interview him. Robin said he hasn't talked to his daughter since shortly after the wedding. Robin said Meghan hasn't spoken to her dad since the wedding and she changed her number. Howard said you have to lay low. He said he could have moved into some palace thing or gotten a job doing noting all day. Howard said Pete Davidson is a genius, Meghan's father not so much.
Robin read a story about CVS apologizing for a manager calling police on a black woman who was trying to use a coupon. Robin said that the manager called the police and they asked her to leave. Robin said the woman said the guy immediately decided it was bogus and didn't even try to use it. Robins said he just assumed she was up to something. Robin said the person who did this was a state delegate for President Trump in 2016.
Robin read a story about Hulk Hogan being reinstated in the WWE after a 3 year suspension for a racist slur. Robin reminded Howard about that. Robin said that the WWE has noticed his apologies and how he's trying to help kids lately. Howard asked if it takes 3 years to cure racism. Robin said he claims he wasn't racist and he had no excuse for what he said. Howard asked what he did say. Robin said she's not sure. Gary said he was ranting about his daughter sleeping with a black guy and used the N-word. Howard asked Robin if she has forgiven Hulk Hogan. Robin said she doesn't care what people say. She said just don't block what she wants to do and she's fine.
Robin read a story about Scarlett Johansson dropping out of a movie role because of her being cast as a trans-man. Howard asked if that's like black face. Robin said apparently. She said there are trans actors who could play the role. Robin said there was backlash over Jeffrey Tambour playing a transitioning woman. Robin said there were women who could play the role. Robin said Scarlett dropped out after being lashed out at when she took it. Howard said he played himself and he had Robin play herself. He said imagine if he got a white woman to play Robin. Robin said someone asked her who played her in the movie. Howard asked if that's true. Robin said it is.
Robin read a story about President Trump meeting with Vladimir Putin. Robin said he has said it was a very good start. Robin said the two men are having a working lunch with their top diplomats. Robin said they had a one on one meeting that ran for 2 hours. Robin asked if it counts because they both had interpreters. Robin read about what they claim they spoke about in their one on one meeting. She had some audio of some people commenting on that.
Robin read a story about how Brett Kavanaugh may be confirmed by the senate soon. Robin said if things keep going the way they're going this is going to be the president's stamp on this country's history. Robin said he's going to have one or two more nominations before he's done. Robin said that it's going to be the Trump court.
Robin read a story about a woman who is accused of poisoning her 11 week old son with her drug laced breast milk. Robin said she's probably a drug addict. Robin said she transmitted opioids to her newborn through her breast milk. Howard said that's a terrible story. It's the Toxic Titty Story.
Robin read a story about a study that is casting doubt on the existence of Aliens in our galaxy. Robin said they say there is a 53 percent chance that we are alone. Robin said they say that there's a 40 percent chance we're alone in the universe. Howard asked if she's saying that Riley Martin was full of shit. Robin said apparently so. Howard said we're floating alone on this miraculous accident. He said it's a miracle it worked out. He said he prays to god that he exists. He said he wants to hedge his bet. He said it's us and vast space garbage. He said not one of these other planets has an atmosphere. He said it's just us. He said he takes comfort in that. He said he's happy with what we have and he doesn't want anyone coming here and conquering us. Robin said maybe they'd have a different point of view about how to step on people in the universe. Howard said they would see us as a threat and we'd be dead.
Robin read a story about today being Amazon Prime day. Robin said she's not even sure what that is. Gary said it's discounts on their stuff like Kindles and stuff and that goes into other products. Howard said he heard about a waterproof Kindle. He said he doesn't have that. He asked if that's a real thing. Gary said that they do say that they have one called the Kindle Oasis. Gary read some details about it and Howard said he has to get that. Robin read more about the Prime Day sale.
Howard took a call from a guy who claimed to be an alien. He quickly gave up when he saw how late it was. Howard said he has no time for that.
Robin read a story about the movie Skyscraper not having a good opening. Howard said good. He said he's glad The Rock is over. Robin said it only made $25 million at the box office this weekend. Howard said good. He said he likes that it didn't do well. Robin said it cost $125 million to make. Robin said it was beaten by Hotel Transylvania 3. Howard said it was kind of cute that Arnold Schwarzenegger was popular. He said get some people in there with some training. Robin said she thinks this Rock thing has gone too far too. She said she does like the guy though. She said he has a sense of humor about himself. Robin said he has to slow down making movies. Howard said he loves that he's in the gym all day working out. Robin said Hotel Transylvania made $44 million. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Howard started the show talking about how someone asked him the other day how people know when he's live and when it's a repeat. He said that was his daughter. He said he had to look into it because it's none of his business. He said the idea is to trick the audience and make them think they're there for 24 hours.
Howard said he went to bed last night early. He wanted to see the Sacha Baron Cohen new show. He said it's not often he gets excited about a show unless it's The Bachelorette. He said he also like Fauda. He said he's a Jewish James Bond. Robin said she can't get into that. Howard said it's really good. He said he just loves people killing each other. Robin said he has a screw loose. Howard said Death Wish was good. Robin said she liked the new one with Bruce Willis. Howard said he'd probably like it too. He told Gary to send him a note to watch that.
Howard said he came into work this morning and it's such a great set up. He said that no radio station is set up like this. He said he loves this place. He said they don't stand in his way at all. He said the just want to facilitate him in any way they can to make good radio. Howard said they think he seems to know what he's doing so they help. He said god bless this company. He said they have provided them with 4 hours where they can broadcast and have guests. He said anyone who says a bad thing about this company he will never speak to. He said he will put the leg of a chair up their ass. He said Sacha talks about that.
Howard said there are 7 episodes that Sacha has put together. He said they move really fast. He said he does a great job playing these 4 characters. He said it's like Candid Camera meets something. Robin said it's Candid Camera meets The Imposter. Howard said he'll go with that.
Howard said the show is great. He said god bless him. Robin said he plays all of these great characters and he has great makeup artists. Howard said he's such a funny guy. He said equally funny is The Bachelorette. Howard said there are two people who have only been on two dates and they're falling in love. He said this guy is in love. Robin said none of these people get married. Howard said they actually do. He said there are a couple who have gotten married.
Howard said this guy was sitting there and asked the Bachelorette ''What if we have kids or something like that'' and the woman says ''he'd be a hot dad.'' Howard asked what kind of guy says ''What if we have kids or something like that?'' He said his wife said he was a lot hotter before he opened his mouth. Howard said this woman just answers saying he'd be a hot dad. He said this is why we're doomed. He said we have morons in this country.
Howard said the country is doomed. Robin said she's seen Howard in action like that. Howard said he was in a strip club and he was dizzy.
Howard said this vocal fry thing is out of control. He said there's a guy on the Bachelorette who has it. He said the Bachelorette doesn't have it usually unless she's talking to this guy who has it. Howard played a clip from the show where they were both doing the vocal fry thing.
Howard said just listen to this fucking guy. He said he's slowly becoming an Iguana. He said in the next scene they were feeding each other flies. He said when a guy talks like that you have to wonder what's wrong with him. He said he breaks into that vocal fry and he gets into this normal voice. Howard asked who talks like that.
Howard said this is why he's into the Bachelorette. He said he has to observe people. He said this is his window into humanity. Robin laughed. Howard said lets listen some more. He played more of the vocal fry clip. The two of them sounded like frogs.
Howard said what an idiot. He said he sounds like the lead singer in Lamb of God. He played some of that guy singing. Howard said he was laughing so hard last night. He said Brent was into Lamb of God. He said he was thinking that he said he's taking lessons to learn to sing like that. He said everyone has lost their mind. He said Brent said he wants to learn how to sing like that. He played more of that Lamb of God singing.
Howard asked Brent what he's paying to learn to sing like that. Brent said he has a DVD. He said it's called The Zen of Screaming. He said he's just learning how to do it without blowing your vocal chords out. Howard asked what he's going to do with that. Brent said you can do vocal tricks on radio with that. He said he's just learning how to do it. He said he'd bring in the DVD.
Howard asked Brent if he really listens to his music. Brent said he has been listening to them exclusively for a while now. Howard played a bunch of clips and asked what he's even saying in that. Brent said he would know it if he knew which song he was singing. Howard asked Brent if he really wants to do that. Brent said it would be awesome.
Howard asked Brent to demonstrate. Brent tried singing but it hurt his throat so it didn't go more than a second or two. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said he has the guy from The Bachelorette on the phone. He took the call from one of the guys in the back who was doing the impression. Howard said he can't even do it good. Howard said it's different. The guy tried something different and it sounded closer.
Howard played more of the vocal fry guy from The Bachelorette. He got some laughs out of that. He was doing his vocal fry impression along with it.
Howard said no wonder he turned into a frog. His mother was fucking the English teacher. Howard said this guy needs oil like the Tin Man. He said you put some oil in there and he stops talking like a frog. Howard said he can barely follow his story. He said it's a really good story but he can't follow it.
Howard said he'd have a better story if his dad fucked his male gym teacher. He played more of the vocal fry and said it sounds like he comes up for air. He said it's interesting. Howard asked how she could marry a guy like that. Robin said she can't.
Howard said she starts getting it because of him. He played more of the audio and goofed on it. He made up his own story about swallowing a frog and it had a family of frogs in his throat. He told the story about his mom fucking his English teacher. Howard said it was hard to empathize with him when he was talking like that. Robin said she's got to choose him just so they can see him with her family.
Howard said Beth was kind enough to give him sex last night so he was dopey and sleepy. He said she's so pretty and beautiful and loving. Robin said he's repeating himself. Howard said he doesn't have enough good things to say about his wife. He said that's for anyone who is willing to give him sex. He said that she's such a beautiful, lovely, pretty woman.
Howard said he always checks with Beth to make sure she's really into it. He asked if she's okay. He said he asks her to blink if she's ill. He said that he's surprised that she doesn't dry heave.
Howard played more of the vocal fry stuff. He asked if he should replay it. He said he wants to hear the story again. He said he wants to hear about the mom fucking his English teacher. He said it's two-for-Tuesday. Howard replayed the clip so he could hear the story again. He kept cutting it off to do his vocal fry impression though.
Howard said that's a heavy story to have vocal fry through. He said it's like talking about the holocaust with the vocal fry. He did his impression of the guy with the vocal fry and made up more stories. Howard asked if the guy is possessed. He said he'd call in an exorcist. Robin asked if he's in Lamb of God.
Howard played more of the story clip and kept goofing on the guy. He made up stories about his dad being raped by a bear and other things.
Howard asked Fred what he thinks about this. Fred said he's not sure. He did it in his vocal fry voice. He said that he might be trying to empathize with the women. He said he's really not sure. Howard, Fred and Robin were all doing their vocal fry voices.
Howard said it's odd that the guy's English teacher was his gym teacher. He said that's odd itself. He said he always thought that if his parents got a divorce that his dad would stop yelling at him. Robin said imagine he had to be with his dad alone at his own house. Howard said maybe it is better that they stayed together.
Howard went into his mother's voice and talked about being in love with Mr. Roush his English teacher. He had her talking about how he started parting the hairs on her pussy. Howard said he'd be telling Robin that story with vocal fry.
Howard played more of The Bachelorette audio. He said that guy is as good as the guy from Lamb of God. He said humanity is fascinating. Robin said it is. Howard said it's good that he's there to point it out.
Howard said his mom wouldn't even know the name of his English teacher. He said that they knew nothing about him. Howard said his mom didn't even know his English teacher. He did more of her voice and had her talking about the teacher fucking her hard and how he did cream pie her. He said he did the alphabet on her pussy.
Howard said he doesn't remember any teacher names but Mr. Roush. He said they interviewed him in the paper once and the guy said he remembers him. He said no he didn't. Howard said imagine your English teacher fucked your mom. He said that's why this guy talks like that.
Howard said he's pretty sure that if he spoke like that he never would have gotten Beth. He went into his mom's voice again talking about what Mr. Roush did to her sexually. Howard said maybe fucking the teacher wasn't such a good idea. He said people are nuts. He said he has to finish that episode from last night. He said he has to find out what happens.
Howard had his mom telling him she had sex with the teacher and how she blew him while he was grading papers. She said that he put a box of number 2 pencils in her twat.
JD said Howard should see this guy's mom. He said he just fast forwarded to that point. Howard said he has to watch that tonight. JD said he won't spoil it for him.
Howard said none of his teachers liked him or had any interest in him. He did more of his mom talking about fucking his teacher.
Howard said he fell asleep in the middle of The Bachelorette. He said he was very drained from having sex. Robin said she's happy for him. Howard said he did have to get that clip pulled for Robin though. Robin said you wonder how many teachers that woman went through before this. Howard did more of the guy with his vocal fry.
Howard said the Bachelor's mom worked at the school. He said that explains it. Howard said back when he was in school the music teacher married one of his teachers. Robin said she remembers a teacher getting married in her school. Howard said he thinks that this guy's name was Mr. Thermos or something. Robin said there was an English teacher and science teacher that got married. Howard said he wondered how they afforded kids. He said he'd watch on the news how they were underpaid. He said the two together couldn't afford to buy a house. Howard said he doesn't know one guy who talks like that.
Howard said he might have a tick. Gary said he doesn't know. Howard asked if he wants him to buy a spittoon. Gary said that would be gross. He said nothing really comes up. Howard said as soon as he walked in he was doing it. Gary said it starts in the morning and it starts long before he sees Howard. Howard said just stop doing it. He said don't clear your throat anymore. He said it's becoming a tick. Gary said he'll just stop doing it. Howard said he's turning it into a shtick loch. He said his mom would say he's making menace. He said he's not even sure what that means.
Howard asked Ronnie if he heard that this morning. Ronnie came in and said that he heard it. He said he's so used to it though. He said it's constant. Howard said he heard it again when they turned the corner. Howard asked if he does it during the show. Ronnie said he does and every time he walks through the door he does it. He said Gary used to have this wrist shaking thing he used to do. He said he would also adjust his dick and balls. Robin said the monkey is not wearing underwear.
Howard said he pulls at it. Gary said he does wear underwear. Gary said the watch tick is gone because he used to have a loose watch. He said it would get stuck on his hand. He said that he had to shake it. Howard said he tugs at his shirt a lot too. Gary said he odes. Howard asked what's up with the balls and dick. Gary said he's not itchy. He said he's not even aware of that.
Howard asked Ronnie if he has ever heard a dude doing that vocal fry thing. Ronnie said he never has. He said he has heard women do it though. Howard let Ronnie go after that. Fred did his Ronnie impression after he left. Robin said it's like Ronnie has studied Gary.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he heard the uncut Medicated Pete tape. Howard said he fucked up and missed it. He said he saw that it was on after it aired. He said he wanted to be there with everyone else listening. The caller said he spent 10 hours listening to the thing over and over. Howard said they ran an abbreviated version on the show and then turned it into a special. He said it's available on demand on the app. Howard said they have a lot more coming down the pipeline with the app stuff.
The caller asked if Gary and Mary have listened to the tape together. Howard said he's not sure what he's driving at. The caller said something about Pete referring to something in the tape. Howard let him go.
Howard said Gary was going wild this morning with the throat clearing. He did his impression of Gary and played a song parody with Gary's throat clearing. They went to break after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wants to know what he thinks about yesterday with Trump and Putin. He said news people are asking about what Putin has on Trump. Howard said the president keeps calling this investigation a ''witch hunt'' and he questions that. He asked how that is a democratic witch hunt when Robert Mueller is a republican. The caller said that doesn't make him good. Howard said Rod Rosenstein was appointed by Trump. Howard said that you'd have to have some democrats involved if it was a democratic witch hunt. Howard said all of these guys are republicans. Robin said they don't know if the president was compromised or if there are things they have on him. Howard said he doesn't care. He said there are people who gave their lives for this country and you have to care.
Robin said they have to know if the Russian leader has information on Trump so he could blackmail him. Howard said what the KGB does is prepare dossiers on people who come to the country. He said when Donald would go visit the country they would put a camera in the room and things like that. Howard said they want to find out if they have leverage on the guy. Howard asked if the caller understands now. The caller told him to keep going.
Howard said when he hears this ''witch hunt'' thing he thinks about all of these guys who are republicans who are involved in the investigation. The caller said he's wondering why they keep bringing up the Russia tape thing. Howard said the Russians attacked us during the last election and we're doing nothing about it. Howard said it would be cool if they caught an actual witch. Howard said that he has to stop talking about politics. Howard said he has to laugh when he hears it's a democratic witch hunt.
Howard took a call from fake Sarah Sanders who took some questions from Robin and Howard. Howard asked a few questions about what went on with Trump and Putin. Fake Sarah had some funny answers for his questions.
Howard asked Robin if she wants to ask another question. Robin asked one and Sarah told her to shut up. She said maybe she'll kick her in her witch cunt. Howard asked more questions and Sarah came back with sarcastic answers.
Howard said he has to hire her as his press secretary if he ever has any problems in his life. Sarah didn't seem interested in helping him out.
Howard asked Sarah about the tariffs and how Harley Davidson is going to have to move their production overseas. Sarah changed the subject to the size of Trump's penis.
Howard said she has answered every question today. Robin said she tried to be nice and ask a simple question. Sarah said she doesn't speak stupid. Howard said Robin is getting hammered today. Howard spent a little more time with fake Sarah and then let her go. They played a Sarah Huckabee Sanders album commercial parody after that. They also played an Evil Dave tribute clip as they went to break.
Howard said he may not have thought it was a good idea but they did. Howard sang their Swap Shop theme song. Howard said they were punished for trying something new. Howard said he loves that he hosts the show and he used the phrase ''not no more.''
Howard said they sing about Swap Shop being fun. He wondered if that's fun and if it's even a real thing to sell stuff on the radio. Ward said that's a lot of fun. He said that's the continuing Swap Shop phony phone call series.
Howard said there was an Anti Kavanaugh rally. He said people got together to protest him and then there were people who were for him and Trump. He said everyone had a megaphone too. He said everyone shows up with one. He said this was from the night Trump made the announcement.
Howard said back in the 60s they had one person with a megaphone. He said now everyone has one and you can't tell what's going on. He played some audio from that protest where people were chanting and multiple people were speaking on their megaphones. Howard said that should settle the issue.
Howard played another clip where a guy was playing a siren sound over a woman's speech. Howard didn't know where that came from. Robin said some megaphones have that sound. Howard said he's never heard a megaphone that does that. He said that's pretty cool.
Howard said he believes that women should have the right to have an abortion. He said he is fascinated with that siren and that speech. He said that if you go to a rally you have to say something and not just read off paper. Robin said you have to have chants and stuff.
Howard said when you play the sirens and stuff they're not just going to stop with their speech. He played more of that woman's speech. Howard said that's the world's worst speech.
Howard said that led to people screaming into the microphone and you can't hear what they're saying. Howard played some clips of people screaming into the microphone and they're very hard to understand. Howard said that's a major boner killer. The woman was screaming at the top of her lungs into that microphone. Howard said she has the right idea.
Howard played another clip of a woman screaming into the microphone. Howard said then Bernie Sanders showed up. Robin said guess what, this guy is going to join the Supreme Court. Robin asked what you're going to do. Howard played some audio of Bernie Sanders getting into it and asking if they're ready for a fight.
Howard said Bernie always had a sore throat. He said he's always yelling. Howard said this guy is in his 70s and he's feisty. Howard said he doesn't have that energy and he's way younger than him. He asked what he's on.
Howard said the megaphone is what makes you loud. He said you don't have to yell into them. Howard said it would be funny if he said he just smoked meth and yelled that into the megaphone. Howard played more of Bernie's yelling and did an impression of him yelling into the megaphone.
Howard said the most aggressive yeller was this woman who was the head of the pro choice America group. Howard had some audio of her screaming. Howard said she's like Ronnie yelling ''Sixty nine!!!''
Howard said these people are all on his side so he likes them but they have to top yelling. Howard played more of the audio and did his impression of what they were doing. He yelled that his tonsils were bleeding. He said he's worried about her throat blowing out.
Howard said Ronnie's mother is at the protest rally. He said she's yelling just like everyone else. He had some audio of fake Ronnie's mom yelling at the rally to cheers from the crowd.
Howard asked the caller what's up. The caller, Todd, said they were talking about Evil Dave and he's wondering if he could bring back one of the deceased Wack Packers, who would it be? Howard let out sigh. He asked why he had to do all of the preamble. He said he could have gotten right to the question. Howard said he is very depressed about Evil Dave dying. Robin said someone asked her if he was a Wack Packer. Howard said he wasn't but he really was. He said he'd put him in that category.
Howard went through the dead Wack Packers list and said Crackhead wasn't even on the show at the end. He said he didn't want to be on the show anymore. He said he was great in the beginning. Howard said he didn't want to upset his kids so he chose them over the show. Howard said that annoyed him. He said that he actually understood that.
Howard said they have Riley, Hank the dwarf, Joey Boots, Nicole Bass, Cliff Palette, Eric the Actor. He said he loved when Eric would call in. He said he thinks it might be Hank. Howard said it's killing him. He said it's such a toss up. He said Eric was great too. Gary said he's with Hank. Howard said he wants a few clips of each to help him decide.
Howard said that Riley was great too. He did his Riley voice and talked about how great he was. Robin and Howard talked about some of the stuff he did. Howard said Eric the Actor was great. He said Hank would be drunk and start fights. He said he was great when they had him in a box and had him pop out. Robin said he did something to David Blaine. Robin said they sent him down to do something. Howard said he was in a block of ice and Hank was threatening to pee on the ice. Robin said he was in a bunny outfit too.
Howard said he's going to play a game with Todd while Fred looks for some clips to play. He asked Todd if he'd like to win a sound system from SVS Sound worth 999.99. Howard said he has some games to play. He said he has a Wendy the Slow Adult Dead or Alive game. He had a theme song for the game.
Howard said they're playing the game with Todd today. He gave SVS a plug and said everyone loves Wendy. He said that they want to know if she knows who is dead or alive. Howard said they're going to do a practice session with Todd. He asked what he does for a living. Todd said he's a teacher and he has a DJ business. Howard asked what he likes better. Todd said he would say being a teacher. He said it's rewarding to be a teacher. He said he enjoys the DJ business too. Howard said he has chosen both as equally favorite so he's going to move on. Howard asked if he ever gets to fuck the student's moms. Todd said not yet.
Howard said that he's going to mention a celebrity name and Todd has to guess if Wendy will know if they're dead or alive. Howard said they asked about Larry King. He said this is a test question. Todd said he's going to say she will say he's still alive. Howard played her answer and Wendy said ''dead from cancer.'' Howard said Todd would have had that one wrong.
Howard said that they asked Wendy if Adolph Hitler is alive or dead. Todd said he's going to say she has to know he's dead. Howard played her answer and Wendy said ''Dead. He died of cancer.''
Howard said they asked Wendy if Hillary Clinton is alive or dead. Todd said he's going to say that she will say she's alive. Howard played her answer and Wendy said ''Dead. Somebody shot her.'' Howard said Todd didn't use slow logic. He said that he has to remind him how to play this game. He said he has one right and one wrong so he's fine.
Howard said they asked Wendy if Abraham Lincoln is alive or dead. Todd said he's going to say she thinks that he's dead. Howard played her answer and Wendy said ''Dead. He died from a major overdose.''
Howard said they asked Wendy if FDR is alive or dead. Todd said he's going to say she thinks he's still alive. Howard played her answer and Wendy said ''Alive... just hanging around with his wife.'' Howard said that's how you win a game. He said Todd put on his slow cap and won it.
Howard said he has to answer Todd's question about Eric the Actor or Hank. Fred still didn't have the clips ready to go. Gary said they have some Eric clips but nothing for Hank yet. He said they're working on getting some.
Howard said he'll start with the Eric clips. He played one where Eric revealed that he's ''club fuckin' footed you ass wipe.''
Howard said he loved Eric. He said there was nothing wrong with his foot but then he was double jointed and then he was club fuckin' footed. Howard had another clip of Eric yelling at Fred for playing the ''zero point zero'' clip. Howard asked what it was with the zero point zero. Fred didn't remember. JD said it was the number of tickets that Eric sold for an appearance he was making. Todd knew the answer and told Howard exactly what it was. Howard said every time that clip was played it upset Eric.
Howard said he has some hank clips now. He had one where Hank was at the David Blaine thing. Hank was going to pull down his pants. Howard said that wasn't a great clip. He said he thinks he's going with Eric the Actor. Robin said she's go with Eric too. Fred agreed. He said Hank was great too but Eric was involved with so much on the show. He said there were so many things. Howard said alright.
Howard said to him when he evaluates the shows Eric believed in Werewolves. He said he made them put into his rider that he had to be protected from werewolves on the set. Gary said he was going to open up a modeling agency where they would have to live with him for a year. Gary said Hank fell off a stool when he was in a game with him.
Howard said he has a bit where Eric and Hank met in Heaven. He played that bit where the guys put clips of both of them together. Howard said he has audio of Eric talking about werewolves too. He played that clip where he read the list of things that he had to be protected from. Eric said there are legitimately werewolves in that area.
Howard said Eric was great. He put Todd on hold so he could get his prize. Howard said he can't do a whole day of Eric clips. Robin said his catalog is too deep.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said it has to be Eric. He said Hank had his moments but Eric was an endless supply. Howard said people would write about how sick they were of Eric. He said he never got sick though. He said he would have him on every day if he could. Ralph said he misses Eric. He said he loved that people got sick of him.
Howard said Ralph was over yesterday. He said he was listening to him about his life. He said he won't get into specifics. He said you're supposed to listen to people you love and he tried that. He said it was hard. He said he tried not to talk about himself and it was really hard. He said he doesn't like it much. He said he did try though.
Howard said he was trying to be there for Ralph. He said the whole time he was fighting it and just wanted to go downstairs to get away from him. Ralph said he didn't know why he was even telling him this stuff. He said he asked himself why he was telling him.
Howard said his therapist said that Ralph is a good friend because he does confide in him. He said that Ralph did thank him afterward. Ralph said in general people don't want to hear your shit. He said he won't bore him with that stuff. He said he told him but whatever.
Howard said Ralph was on vacation last week and he's not sure how you tell. Ralph said he just went down the shore for a few days. He said he didn't call it a vacation. Howard said he did use that word. Ralph said he didn't. He said he's never telling Howard anytime ever again. Howard said next week they'll do it.
Ralph asked Howard why he needs a vacation when he's off all the time. Howard said he's worked all his life and he deserves it. He asked why he's going off on him. Ralph apologized. Howard asked if he's wearing a robe over there. Ralph said he's about to go running so he's dressed. He said he has short shorts on with his ass hanging out. Howard tried to let him go a short time later. Ralph said Eric was the best. Howard agreed. Robin said they didn't play clips from his shows where he analyzed American Idol. Howard said he doesn't know what he was thinking. He said it would have to be Eric.
Howard let Ralph go and played more Eric clips. He had the one where Eric did his ''You know what to do... you know what to do.'' with Johnny Fratto.
After that clip Howard said that if you are going to do a hit on someone don't do it on voicemail. He said try to be a little more veiled. Howard said that Tony never tells his guys exactly what to do. He said he was watching a clip the other day where Johnny Sac is talking to Tony and Tony said he can't do this. He said it's all veiled.
Robin said she was telling someone about her cat that died and said that they had crossed the rainbow bridge. She said you can't tell someone your cat died. Howard said he'd like to think that they're not the same as ants. He said that you'd have to follow the logic that they're just as alive as you are. He said that would mean that heaven is filled with mosquitos. Robin said she was thinking about how dead people are selfish. She said that they take up space in graveyards. Robin said Howard has a plan for being planted. Howard said he's going to be in a mausoleum. He said he has plans already. He said he will go down in history and people will want to see where he's at.
Howard said Beth told him she's going to jump on top of him in his grave. He said that he wishes that was true but she's going to live longer. He said that he doesn't want her to remarry though. He said that he wants her to just be his widow. He said he has a will that says the executors will give her more money if she's miserable than she will get if she's happy.
Howard said he's looking at the things that went on while they were on vacation. He said that Andy Dick was arrested. Cardi B gave birth to her child. Howard said there's a lot of stuff. He said Nancy Sinatra died at 101. He said George Clooney was injured on a scooter. He asked why he was on a scooter. Gary said he was hit by a car that went through a red light. Robin said he was trying to be like the other Italians and trying to fit in over there. Howard said he hopes his face wasn't harmed.
Howard said George Clooney is on the phone. He took the call from fake George who sounded just like Asian Pete. Howard asked ''George'' a few questions about his accident and his answers were very hard to understand.
Robin said she doesn't think this is going to be the same life he had before. Howard said he's going to have his life looking at porn all day. Howard asked George if he has ever watched porn. George mumbled something. Howard was just making up the conversation because Pete's words were unintelligible. He went to break after doing a live commercial read.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said he's not sure how he feels about this song. He said that's Phil Collins singing. Fred said it's Genesis though. Howard said he's not a big Genesis guy. He said this song he can get into though. He said it has a good riff. He said he's not sure he's put this on his personal playlist. He said Ronnie is into it. Fred was playing Ronnie saying ''Du.'' with the song.
Howard said someone sent him a video of Ronnie pushing his fiancee into a pool in Vegas. He asked what's wrong with him. He said he's like a 2 year old. He said then he's cracking up like he's 7. Howard said he thinks he put it on Facebook. Gary said it was on Stephanie's Facebook. Howard said he doesn't know what chick likes that. He said Ronnie thinks they're just having fun.
Howard said he pushed her in pretty violently. Robin said it was very 5th grade. Howard said he got her right from behind.
Howard said this Twitter exchange happened while they were off. He said this is why he loves the Wack Pack. He said that High Pitch Erik was arguing with a guy named Rocco. He said Rocco said something about him smelling like doody. He said Erik got into a fight with the guy over that. He said Erik wrote back that he does not. He said he takes a shower ''every fucking week.'' Howard said he showers every week. He said that's his comeback. He said Marfan Mike told him to take one every day. Then Erik writes back that he doesn't have time. Howard said he's not sure what he's doing that makes him too busy to shower.
Howard said Chrissy Teigen posted a picture of herself breast feeding her daughter's doll. He said he's not sure what she's trying to do. Robin said she does like attention.
Howard said they say that Twitter was cracking down on people buying followers. He said Sunday night last week they were going to remove everyone's bought and paid for followers. Howard said how pathetic are you to buy followers? He said that he was checking people out to see how many they lost. He said Katy Perry lost 2.8 million. Then he looked at his and he saw that he lost 100,000. He said he thinks they just went through and cut everyone down to make it seem like they erased followers. Howard said he never bought any followers. He said Bruce Springsteen lost 19,000 followers. He said Gary lost 10,000. He said he believes Gary paid for his. Robin wondered if she lost any. Howard said Ronnie lost 9,000.
Howard said what he's trying to say is that it proves there is no credibility. He said he's never paid for a follower. He said he doesn't think Ronnie or Bruce Springsteen did either. He said he thinks they just cut out a percentage.
Gary said that they are fake accounts with no person behind them. He said they just closed those accounts. Howard said he's got it.
Howard said Oprah lost 1.4 million and he thought she had bought those. Robin said a few weeks before there were advertisers who said they had to have valid accounts or they weren't going to pay for advertising. Howard said a lot of things happened while they were off.
Howard said before they went on vacation the were talking about words that were racist and they didn't even know. He said this guy used ''Cotton picking'' and it got people in an uproar. Howard said Bobo is worried that he used phrases that could be considered racist. Howard played a clip of Bobo talking about how he was thinking about what he's said in his classes and how he has talked about ''squinty eyes'' and that might be racist. Howard said Bobo is so dopey. He said that's not racist. Robin asked if he's surprised by this. Howard said poor Bobo has no idea what it is.
Howard said Bobo was upset that he used the term ''Jerry rigged.'' Howard played a clip of Bobo talking to Shuli about that. Shuli asked why that's offensive. Bobo said that people would say ''Nigger rigged'' and people would correct him. He said that he'd use ''Jerry rigged'' and people would ask if he meant ''Nigger rigged.'' Bobo said he can't use that term. He said he knows that was associated with the other term. Howard said Shuli said that Bobo called him in a panic over that.
Howard said he's not sure what Bobo is even talking about. He said he didn't say anything racist. He said he's now concerned that he was racist. Robin said he's trying to say that he was racist.
Howard had Shuli come in and tell him what's going on with Bobo. Shuli said he texted him that day and he was apologizing for being racist even though he wasn't racist. Howard had more audio of Bobo going on and on about how he was worried about what he said in his classes. He said he's not racist. He told Shuli about the term ''Nigger chasers'' that he used when he had fireworks. Howard said Bobo is such a bore.
Howard had Bobo on the phone and asked if people would use the N-word in his class. Bobo said they did. Howard asked why anyone would do that. He said it's like he's teaching the KKK. Robin said Jerry Rigged has nothing to do with ''Nigger Rigged.'' Bobo said that not everyone would do that but there were people who would. He said he never used the term but he was afraid of saying ''squinty eyes.'' Bobo said he doesn't want to offend anyone. Howard said he should spend less time thinking.
Howard said he loves that Shuli lets him dig himself right into a hole. Bobo explained how he used ''Jerry rigged'' when he would tell people how to use a rag on a wiper blade arm if you lose your blade. Howard said Bobo is out of his mind.
Howard asked if he uses the term ''blind spot.'' Bobo said of course he does. Howard said that's hurtful to blind people. Howard asked if he ever says ''Floor it.'' Bobo said he does. Howard said that's racist. He said that's from black people being dragged behind cars and they'd say ''floor it.'' Bobo said he didn't know that. Howard said maybe he is racist.
Howard asked if he ever said monkey wrench. Bobo said he did. Howard said that's racist. He said rear view is a gay man's view of his sexual partner. Bobo said he never thought about that. He said that's not as strong as the other ones.
Howard said ''blind spot'' is the worst. He said he has to stop using that and ''floor it.'' Howard said he can't say ''blinker'' because that's a slur for Asian. Bobo said he didn't know that. He said he's rethinking everything he's taught for the past 37 years. Howard said that's a term he has to stop using. Bobo said he used that back in the day. Robin said that was some day.
Howard said he has to stop using the term gear shift. He said that's an Indian term. Bobo said he never knew that. He said he has him rethinking everything. Shuli said he should think about that.
Howard said that Al Sharpton was talking about how Seat Belt is racist because it's a term that was used in slave days. He said that you have to use the term ''restraint.'' Howard said he's not comfortable saying seat belt on the show. He said he would never use it in front of white or black. He said if he was a driving instructor he'd never use it.
Howard said he bets some of Bobo's best friends are black. Bobo said he does have black friends. He said he had a best friend up in New York. Howard said if he's going around saying seat belt in front of him he's going to stop talking to him.
Bobo said he has to rethink it all now. He said he was never corrected about this stuff. Howard said there are things you just never say. He said it's weird that he doesn't know seat belt was a racist term. Howard and Shuli kept pushing that on Bobo and Bobo was falling for it thinking he's been using the wrong term all these years.
Howard had a clip of Bobo apologizing to anyone he may have offended over the years. He said something about a ''lie-berry'' so Howard asked him to spell it. He spelled it right but he can't say it right. Howard said he doesn't get how he can say ''Jerry'' but not library. He had Bobo say Broom. Bobo said it but Howard said it sounds like he's trying to silence the R in the word.
Howard played more of Bobo talking about the words he has used and how he didn't know they were racist. Bobo used the term ''nigger rigged'' in the apology so they pointed that out to him. Bobo said he was just saying that he had never used that term. Howard said don't use Floor it or Seat Belt again. He said he doesn't use those terms at all. Bobo said that floor it was a 60s term. Howard said that African Americans were dragged behind cars and when you say that you're disgracing everyone. Bobo said he's glad he told him. Shuli asked if he wants to apologize now. Bobo did. He said he's sorry he used those phrases.
Howard said Bobo claims that fans were hounding him during vacation. Howard said that's bullshit. Bobo said he was at Disney and he had fans coming up to him there. He said that he wasn't going to hang out with them because he's with his family. Bobo said that he brought it on himself. He said now he wears a cap and glasses to Disney when he goes there. Howard said he wouldn't even recognize him there. Bobo said that it took less than an hour for people to come up to him. He claims that half a dozen people came up to him at Disney. Howard said it slows him down for a full 30 seconds.
Shuli said he was forced to take a vacation with no show for a week. Shuli asked if he wants to tell that story. Bobo said he had to stay off of social media so he could concentrate on family. Shuli said he broke that and he did have to tweet about Evil Dave. Howard asked how he knew about it if he was off social media. Shuli said he was supposed to be on lock down.
Howard took a call from an upset African American woman who said she doesn't understand how Bobo doesn't know that seat belt is an offensive term. She said that Bobo is just passing it on to other people.
Howard asked how long Bobo was off the grid. Shuli said he was off about a week and a half. He said he was supposed to be off for 3 weeks. Shuli said that Bobo was taking pictures with the mascots at Disney and posting them. Bobo said he did it for his kid. He said it was a goof. Howard said sure it was. Shuli ran out to get the pictures.
Howard asked who he got a picture with. Bobo said he doesn't know who they are. Shuli came back in laughing. Bobo said that they're for kids. Shuli had the pictures that he was showing to Howard. Howard showed Robin the pictures. Robin said she's not sure who looks more fake. Shuli said he was tweeting all of this stuff.
Howard asked if he gives Bobo a list of terms if he can tell him if they're offensive. Bobo said sure. Howard asked about blind spot. Bobo said that's not. He said seat belt isn't either. Howard said keep using it and see what happens to him.
Gary had a picture of the hat that Bobo as wearing at Disney. Howard asked if that's an upside down wok. Bobo said he probably offended people with that one. Shuli said everything is a goof for Bobo. Howard said it looks better than his toupee.
Bobo said he got a second letter off to President Trump. He said this is a new one. Howard asked if he wrote it at the lie-berry. The guys were goofing on Bobo sniffing after he says something like that.
Howard let Bobo go. He said he loves his calls. He said he has Goofy on the phone. He didn't know he had him on. He picked up and let the guy do his Goofy voice for about 2 seconds.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Bobo is that dumb or just seeking attention. Howard said he doesn't know. He asked what Shuli thinks. Shuli said he speaks to him a lot and there is no bit there. He said what you see is what you get.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that he wears a Sirius jacket with his name on it at Disney. Howard said that's a good point. He said he's complaining about fans bothering him and his name is on a SiriusXM jacket. Howard said he knew a famous guy who was in a TV show and he was always complaining that people recognized him and he would do the same thing. He had a jacket for the show with his name on it. He said no one would know who he is if he didn't wear it.
Howard took a call from Marfan Mike who said he got a text from High Pitch Erik threatening him again. Howard asked why. Marfan said it's because of the shower thing. Howard explained that story again. He said Erik says he doesn't have time to shower more than weekly. Mike said that he's going to block him.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Erik who said that he showers every day. He said it must be a fake account. Howard said it's his account though. Erik said there are millions of fake accounts going around. Howard said it's @HPErik1971. Erik said his is actually @HPErik712. Erik said that he didn't do anything. It was an imposter.
Howard spent a little time talking to Erik about that stuff and then another Erik called into the show claiming to be the real Erik. It was a guy doing an impression of Erik. Erik said fuck you. Fake Erik said fuck you back to Erik. Howard let that go on for a minute.
Shuli asked how much Erik weighs these days. Erik said he was 289 the other day. Howard said good work. Marfan Mike said he went fishing. Howard thought he said ''fisting.'' Marfan said he met a fan out there. Howard said okay. He asked where he's going with this. Mike didn't have anything else with that story. Robin told him to work on those stories.
Howard said that Marfan and Erik are still rivals. He played a song parody that the two of them did. They went to break a short time later.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Robin read a story about the most common sexual fantasies. Robin asked what Howard's are. Howard said he doesn't have that many really. He said that he is very happy with his wife. Robin said he still masturbates. Howard said he's just keeping the pipes clear. He said he likes lesbian porn. He said he used to fantasize about being in it. Robin said the number 1 fantasy is... Howard wanted to guess. A threesome is number 1. Howard said number 2 is probably fucking a teacher. Robin said no. She said that is not on the list. Robin said he's not thinking. Robin said that pain is number 2. She said number 3 is shaking things up. She said that means having sex with someone else if you're married. Robin said number 4 is public sex. She said that it's one of the biggest fantasies for women. Howard said not for Beth. He said that she likes it in the bedroom. Robin said that's just what they do. She said that's not what Beth is thinking about.
Robin said number 5 is open relationships. She said number 6 is meaningful sex. Howard said that's where the man is totally into you. Robin said that's it. She said that's what she'd like. Robin said number 7 is same sex encounters. Howard said that's not his thing. He said he does want to jerk Fred off though.
Robin read a story about straws being a problem to the environment. Howard said the birds and fish are being killed by the plastic in our oceans. He said he is for paper straws. Robin said she wants a working straw. Howard said they work. Robin said no they don't. Howard said his mom used to have a metal straw. Robin said she has the hard plastic reusable ones. Robin said someone lost it though. Howard said use that. He said it's so depressing what we're doing to this planet. Robin said Starbucks is going to a strawless cup. Robin said the disabled are upset and questioning their straw ban. Howard said there's always someone with a problem. Robin said they're planning a protest of Starbucks now.
Howard said he's against balloons too. He said people release them at parties and graduations and stuff. He said they end up in the ocean and they kill wildlife. Howard said use your fucking head.
Robin read a story about Howard being lauded in the Daily News today. They mentioned that he was talking about the governor keeping talk shows in the city by giving tax breaks. Howard said he didn't see the story in the paper today. Robin said maybe it was online only. Howard said he hates when that happens. Howard said it's great to keep them there. He said there are not enough people to go to those dopey shows on Broadway. Robin said she went to see Idina Menzel and the play Skin Tight is wonderful.
Robin read a story about Cynthia Nixon and asked if Howard is against her. Howard said he likes her but he thinks Governor Cuomo is doing a good job. He said that he thinks if someone is doing a good job they should be rewarded. Howard said he has never met Cuomo. He said he just likes pointing out when someone is doing good. He said he's not that cynical that he has to knock every politician.
Robin said they're saying that some of the illegal immigrant children who are being reunited with their parents don't recognize them. Robin said she was wondering who those people are who took these kids from their parents. She said when you're anonymous then you can do this kind of thing. Howard said that's why he's all for those GoPros on people's helmets. He said when you're being recorded maybe you won't do stupid things like that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a man who died after an accident with a sword. Robin said he was walking down his own stairs and tripped and thrust the sword into his groin. Fred played a Jackie laugh. Howard said that is a bad way to go. Robin said it really is.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to thank them for helping him get through school and dialysis. He said that it's a lot easier to get through when he's going through all of that. Howard thanked him for that. The caller said he has a poly-cystic kidney. He said that he had a 25 pound kidney removed a few years ago. He said he has another kidney that's about 23.5 pounds and he's waiting on a transplant. Howard asked where he's going to get one of those. Robin said there's a list but if you can find someone who matches. The caller said that it's riddled through his whole family so he can't get one from them. Howard wished him luck with all of that. The caller, Jason, said he has a metal straw and they say that they can be a choking hazard if you're using it while driving. Howard said you should just be driving anyway. Robin said he makes it so boring. Howard said that machine is a dangerous instrument. He said please make sure you use your restraints. He said he made sure not to say seat belt.
Robin read a story about Jeff Bezos being the richest man in the world. Howard said he deserves it. He said he loves how easy he's made it to get stuff. Robin said that now you get upset that they take as long as they do. Howard said that guy deserves to be the wealthiest guy. He said he pulled it off somehow where they get packages in a day. Robin wondered what her Whole Foods benefits are. She didn't know how that works. Howard said he can't get into ordering food. He said they have services to get food delivered. Howard said he can't get into that. He said his mother used to say... He grabbed the megaphone and did his mom's voice telling him how she shops for her own produce. He had her talking about this guy who helped her get a good cantaloupe by shaking it. Howard had her talking about how you have to pick your own or you'll get bad fruits and vegetables.
Robin read more about Jeff Bezos and how he's worth $150 billion. Robin said he has surpassed Bill Gates. Howard said he would like to interview Jeff on the show. He said he's putting that out there for him. Howard said he wants to interview him but not Bill Gates. He said he doesn't like Windows. He said he wants to interview Warren Buffet too. He said no one gave that guy anything. He said he worked hard and had a great philosophy. Gary asked about Elon Musk. Howard said he doesn't know his story. Robin said he started PayPal with another guy. Howard said he doesn't understand that. He said he likes regular money. Robin said this is not Bitcoin. Robin said it's just another way to buy things on the internet. Robin said he started Tesla and SpaceX. Howard said that's cool but he's not using all of that stuff. Howard said he's just interested in Jeff Bezos. Gary said they're also working on something that can get you from L.A. to San Francisco in like 60 minutes. Howard said he just wants Jeff Bezos. Gary said he's working on it. Robin mentioned that Elon had dated this singer and Howard said he should have dated a singer while he was single. He said he didn't think about that. He said he's reading Joni Mitchell's book and it's really good. He said that he could have hooked up with a Jewell or a Cher or someone like that. Robin said maybe Alanis Morissette. Howard said that would have been fun. He said he would have been beside himself. He said that he could have told Robin stories about who blew him last night and it could have been Sheryl Crow or someone like that. He was going through a ton of female singer names and talking about what he could be talking to Robin about. He said he's really happy where he's at though. He said maybe he wouldn't have met Beth and things wouldn't have ended so well with a singer.
Robin read a story about the top paid entertainer of 2017 being Floyd Mayweather. Robin said he pulled in $285 million from June 2017 and June 2018. Robin said that George Clooney is second with $239 million. Robin said Kylie Jenner is 3rd and Judge Judy is next and then Dwayne Johnson.
Howard said he could have made a ton of money if he had put out products like some people do. He said he had integrity though. He said now he's sitting there in poverty.
Robin read a story about Trump and Putin's meeting yesterday in Helsinki. Robin said that Trump is calling the meeting very good. Robin said later in the day the President said that he believes Putin more than our security and information services about the Russian interference in the 2016 election. Robin said a lot of people are upset that he did that. Robin said Stephen Colbert was upset. Robin had some audio of him talking about how this should be considered treason. Robin said Colbert said this shook him to his core. Howard said it's confusing to him for sure. Robin said they're saying that Russia may have something on Trump but she thinks that all you have to do is say you like Trump and he'll warm up to you. Robin had some audio of Trump saying that they have no information on him from 2013 when he visited Russia. Robin said Putin claims he doesn't have anything on Trump and he didn't try to influence the election. Howard said that guy is a fucking monster. He said don't believe anything he says. Robin said our president is bowled over by him. Robin said everything today is hard to understand in politics.
Robin read a story about it being all star season. She said that game will be going on tonight.
Robin said there was another one of those statues that was crying in New Mexico. Robin said someone collected the tears. She said they tested the tears and it turned out to be olive oil. Howard said that's pretty good that she can cry olive oil. Robin said they're saying it might be all a hoax. Robin said they say they haven't been able to figure out how it gets in side the statue.
Robin said a new island is being formed by a volcano in Hawaii. Robin said they say it could be a mound of lava that is just building up off shore. Robin said a bus tour was also in danger when they were going around looking at the lava flows. Robin said one person died from the volcano erupting. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:05am.
Howard started the show talking about how it's like a little club house in there. He said he really doesn't know what's going on any more. He said he woke up this morning and his room was spinning. He said he saw the earth spin. He said the room was spinning when he was talking to the guys. Robin asked if he's eating. Howard said of course he is. He said maybe he's dying. Robin said she had some weird dreams last night. Howard asked if it's anything she wants to reveal. Robin said she woke up wondering what the heck that was. She said they were not pleasant. Howard asked if she wants to elaborate. Robin said she doesn't really know how to put it into words. She said it was bizarre stuff. She said it was people melting and stuff like that.
Howard said he was referring to earlier was that he was leaving there yesterday after meetings. He said he was walking out and they're off in a corner. He said he looks straight ahead when he leaves and walks very fast. He said he tells Ronnie to walk fast. He said there are so many things going on there and there are sometimes famous people there. He said it's that or C-level celebrities or even B or A. He said that he'll stop and say hello at times. He said he had a meeting scheduled and he was running late there. He said his plan was to leave at 1 o'clock. He said he had to leave at that time. He said he stood up and said he had to leave to get home. He said he looked straight ahead on his way out. He said he has learned to ignore people yelling out ''Howard! Howard!'' He said most of the time it's someone he doesn't want to see. He said sometimes it's Andy Cohen who he really likes. He said that he is very respectful. Robin asked if he's A, B or C. Howard said he's D.
Howard said Paul McCartney isn't out there yelling at him to come over. He said you don't know who it is. He said even if it is someone important he will ignore it. He said sometimes when you stop it's kind of life changing. He said he once heard ''Senor Howard Stern!'' Robin said that's when you run. Howard said it turned out to be Guillermo Del Toro. He said he does the TV show he loves called The Strain. He said he loves his movies. He said on that day 4 or 5 years ago he showed him his journals. He said that's the day that he said he would love to be able to paint or draw so he could have a journal. He said he started him on that journey. Howard said sometimes stopping in the hall can be good. He said if he had kept walking that day maybe he'd have more free time. He said he just wanted to get out of there that day.
Howard said yesterday he was walking out and he saw in the fish bowl studio in the middle of the lobby was a show. He said they do it like a theater in there. He said he has vowed to himself to never stop. He said he vows to keep moving with Ronnie no matter what's going on in there. He said he has to get out of there. He said he saw that something was going on and he looked to his right to see. He said he never does that. He said he saw in the studio was Al Roker from the Today show. He said that Al locked eyes with him and told him to come in. He said people are desperate for guests there. Howard said he's the big get because he's always there. He said he was like ''Oh fuck.'' He said Al is such a nice guy though. He said this isn't anyone like Ariana Grande or Taylor Swift. He said that it's Al Roker.
Howard said he was woozy from working all morning. He said that he could hear Al through the glass and he has two yentas in there with him. He said he just wanted to get out of there. He didn't want to be on the Al Roker show. He said you can only do so much time with Al. He said he really didn't want to talk to them. He said Al is a great guy but you can only do so much time with the guy.
Howard said he walked over to their studio and he felt like he was going to death row. He said they were just starting their show. He said the show is called ''Off the Rails.'' Robin said Al is anything but off the rails. Howard said he's the last guy who should call it that. He said he's never said anything controversial in his life. Howard said he'd like to know who named the show. He said he would never name his show, ever. Robin said it might be Howard who names his show ''Off the Rails.''
Howard said he walked in and he was so confused. He said he didn't want to sit down. He just wanted to say hello and leave. He said he didn't sit down at all. He said he was standing and Al and the two women are tiny. He said he's standing above them like Godzilla. He said he looks so bizarre. He said they said their cameras were on with Facebook Live. Howard said his head was spinning from this. He said Al and the two women are taking selfies and he's on Facebook live. Robin said people don't even know what they should be focusing on.
Howard said it was lovely that they were so excited that he was in there. He said he just wanted to go home. He said he told them that the good news is that no one is watching that. He said he was on SiriusXM wondering why they were on Facebook Live. He said Al said it's the Sirius Facebook page. He said none of this makes sense. He said they should have been on the SiriusXM App. He said he wasn't dressed for the camera and he was looking awkward in there.
Howard said Al pointed his camera up his nose and he asked him not to take a picture. He said this whole thing was a train wreck. He said he just wanted to go home. He said he was on his way home and they got him to go in there.
Howard said Gary was talking to a producer over there and everyone is so weirded out with social media that on the Today show they have Al on Facebook and all over the place. He said the have to get content for Snapchat too. He said one of the women was trying to take selfies. He said the show really was off the rails. He said his whole day was off the rails from this show.
Howard said JD somehow got this on tape. He played the intro to the show which was produced. He said he thinks the rest of the show isn't produced. Howard said they were opening the show and Al is yelling for him.
Howard said his head was spinning at this point. He said he asked about Matt Lauer and Gary said that it was like Defcon 4 over there. He said the Today show somehow broadcasts this on their network. He said they have a feed of some kind. He said as soon as he mentioned Matt Lauer they cut the feed. Howard asked Gary to explain that again. Gary came in and said that it's exactly what he said. Gary said he wasn't the one who told him that story. Howard said he thought it was Gary. Gary asked him to give him a moment.
Howard said the Today Show has some sort of internet radio thing and they cut the feed. He said you can listen. Gary said they were doing the Facebook Live show and they cut it to the Today show live feed as soon as Matt was mentioned.
Howard played some audio of that part of the show where he mentioned Matt. Al said everyone is talking and all is good. Howard was talking about how Al never has any trauma in his life. Howard said he wanted to interview her. She was in the studio with Al.
Howard said he looked over at Al's daughter and she looked like she wanted to kill him. He said she seems pissed off. Howard said he brought up Matt Lauer and it took down the feed. He said it took down the whole page. Howard said he loves that.
Robin said they're supposed to be off the rails. Howard said they were off the air. He said Matt is like the N-word at the Today show. He said he didn't know. He said don't invite him in.
Howard said he was just trying to get out of there and they were all sitting down. He said they had a lock down camera so they couldn't zoom in. He said the reason he was in there was because he likes Al. He would have felt weird walking away from him. He said it would have been weird to do that. Robin said just be weird. Howard said he knows. He said he should have just kept moving.
Howard said Ronnie was afraid he was going to get blamed for that. He said he took the blame himself though. He said he was the one who looked to the right to see what was going on. He said he had to look. He said it's like in a horror movie when they tell you not to make eye contact. Fred played a Godzilla drop. Howard said it's like when they told Donald Trump not to look at the eclipse. Then you see him looking at it. He said he was a yenta and had to look. Howard said it's his own fault.
Howard said no matter what the appearance is after he gets off the show he wants to beat himself with a chain because he didn't think he was any good. He said he should have asked Al what it was like after Matt was fired. He said he didn't know any of this. He said that the two women he was with are the two women who were fired from their hour when Megyn Kelly was hired. Howard said they lost their hour on the Today show. He said he didn't know who they were. He said now he knows and he was filled with questions. He said that Megyn got 25 million to do that and she got lower ratings than they did.
Howard said they had real television and now they're on Facebook. Howard said he was trying to figure everything out. He said this woman was saying she was the weather woman. He said she fills in for Al when he's not on the Today show. He said she's next in line for when Al dies. He said there was a lot going on in there but he had to get out.
Howard said he invites them to come on this show and he'll talk to them about Megyn Kelly and losing their show. Howard said he'll do a real interview.
Howard said that was on Facebook live and he's sure no one saw it. He said Al posted a bunch of selfie pictures of him. He said he didn't ask for that. He said he looks horrible. He said Al is with the pictures and all of that. Howard said Gary said Al is going to show a video on the Today show today. He said he doesn't want to be on the Today show. He said he learned a lesson from that. He said don't turn your head and just say no.
Howard said he says no to a lot of people. He said he saw Sandra Bernhard the other day and he loves her. He said that she has a show on the Andy Cohen channel. He said she asked him to do her show but he said he has his own show there. He said he just said we have to get that going. He said what he's going to do is write ''Matt Lauer'' on his forehead so Al is afraid to have him on.
Howard said he told Al that nothing is going to happen on that show. He said it's not off the rails. Robin said they were doing that railroad sound in their opening. Howard said they should use that on their show.
Robin said it makes no sense because they're saying their all aboard but then they're off the rails. Howard said they're going to crash and get off the rails. He said Robin might be on to something. He played the opening again. He tried to figure it out. He said when he hears ''Off the Rails'' he thinks Al Roker. He jokingly said Al was cooking meth on the show last week. Howard said the two ladies were like teenagers taking pictures. He said they were older than teens. Gary said they told him they host the national Today shows on Saturday and Sunday. He said one of them is on MSNBC. Howard said the weather girl was pretty hot. He said she isn't going to get the Al Roker spot. He said that's left for the clown weather guy. He said it's like Wilard Scott's spot.
Howard said those two gals were pretty hot. He said they didn't give a shit they were on the air. He said they were just taking selfies. Robin said this reminds her of what Howard said about Howie Mandel and Heidi. She said they'd be taking selfies and posting them before the show started. Howard said they didn't care about doing the show. Howard said Heidi would be doing that and never had an opinion about anything.
Howard said he saw Heidi in the paper and she was walking around half naked. He said he's so happy that Beth married him. He said he knows that he would have done something stupid and fucked Heidi when he was on the show with her. He said there is so much down time and when he's single he fucks everyone. He said he would have fucked her, Mel B and Howie. He said it would have been a nightmare. Howard said he was able to fuck some famous people. He said it was kind of mind blowing. He said it leads to a lot of problems though.
Howard said he was late for his meeting yesterday. He said that was his day. Robin said it's all his fault.
Howard said he was on Facebook and he saw KC Armstrong was doing a broadcast on Facebook. He said he seems to be a motivational speaker now. He said he was talking about how he has things together and he's working on his life. He said KC was talking about him and saying nice things. He said he didn't want to hear about himself so he just turned it off. He said it was nice though. He just didn't want to hear about himself.
Howard said when he mentioned Matt Lauer Al put his head down. He said if you ever want to get off that show just bring up Matt. Howard thanked Lisa for the call and let her go.
Howard said he should learn to say no but he likes Al too much. He said he can't say no to him. He said he felt weird just ignoring him. Robin said she thinks everyone does. Robin said Al wouldn't have thought anything of it.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she saw the video and Al is off his ''Roker.'' She said that he did say that Howard helped build that place. She was about to say that she called Bubba but Howard hung up on her.
Howard said Mariann called Bubba and told him to stop asking him for stuff. He said Bubba sent him that clip.
Howard said he wanted to know what it was like for Al Roker when Matt was fired. He said Al will never tell you though. He said that he just flies under the radar. He said the irony of the show being called Off the Rails shows you that Al wants to scream out to the world that he wants to be anything but Al Roker. Robin said he's the guy you can always count on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he and Matt used to be friends so what is that like now. He asked if he sees him. Howard said he has spoken to Matt. He said he hasn't had a party to have him to though. He said he doesn't want to say what he's spoken to him about but he has spoken to Matt.
Robin asked what you say to someone like that. Howard said he's getting a lot of practice. He said he's spoken to Louis C.K. and Matt. He said he and Matt are doing Laughter Yoga together.
Howard said he knows the two ladies who do the show with Al were upset that he didn't know who they were. He said that they must think they're famous in their own little world.
Howard said he did have a dinner party this summer. He said it was Matt, Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey, Charlie Rose, Harvey Weinstein and Louis C.K.. He said Mario Batalli catered it.
Howard said they're saying that Charlie Rose was so oblivious that he was going to have a show where he was going to have those guys on to discuss their issues.
Robin said she can't believe he's not telling them what it was like to talk to Matt and Louis. Howard said it was kind of a private thing. Robin said she knows it was.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he thinks people like to hear what he has to say and it doesn't matter where he's at. He said they know he's going to be funny. He said they just want him on to get them some ratings. Howard said he's a pretty deep thinker. He told the guy to go back to bed you fucking maniac.
Howard took a call from a guy who said listening to that Lamb of God stuff without the music is great. He said they should make a phony phone call with that. Howard thanked him for the call. Howard said you have to have a little more than that to make a call. He said he actually has a phony phone call to play.
Robin said she would like to know what kind of music goes with those vocals. Howard said it doesn't even matter. Fred played some light piano music and had the guy singing metal.
Howard said in honor of Evil Dave they made a phony phone call with him. He said that you can't just call up and say they should just use those old tapes. He said they need more than that. He said you can't just call up and make that kind of suggestion.
Howard said they had Evil Dave call a religious show. He said they're trying to keep him working. Howard played the call where they had Evil Dave's pastor call in and tell the hosts of this religious show that he has suffered a stroke recently. He asked them to pray for him. Then they put Evil Dave on and had him mispronouncing names. The hosts brushed him off pretty quick and said they would pray for him. They prayed while Dave was asking for orange juice. They hung up on him after he said ''Death to America.''
Howard said that's a good show huh? Robin said she has a good voice. Howard said she does. She sang a song at the end so that's what they were talking about.
Robin asked if it's too soon for Dave to be making calls. Howard said it's never too soon. Howard said people are demanding more ''Off the Rails'' stuff. He played more of his appearance on that Al Roker show. In the clip Howard was talking about Al staying thin and how he thought he was going to eat right through his staples when he had his surgery.
Howard said he was just trying to exit out of that place. Robin said they were surprised he doesn't follow Al on Instagram. Howard said this must be what it's like when they commit you to a mental institution. Howard said he gave some words of wisdom to never bother him in the hallway there. He said everyone loves Al. He asked Al not to take a picture of him. Al said he's so happy though. Howard got himself out of there after that.
Robin asked if the premise of the show is to sit there and harass people in the hall. Howard said that's what it seems like. He said he's going to have to get out of there by jumping out the 36th floor window.
Howard took a call from Mike the Bubba fan. Mike asked if he would allow for the release of his psychiatrist notes when he dies. Howard said no way. He said that he's not going to allowed that. He said he has to go. He said a psychiatrist releasing notes isn't ethical. He said they take some sort of pledge to never do that. He said he doesn't need anyone commenting on how neurotic he is.
Howard said he's seen the notes and they say that he's a fucking mess. He said that's essentially what it is. He said he's a mess but who isn't? He said look at Fred. Howard said he has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said before they went on vacation they were talking about the road rally that Ronnie was in. He said the whole thing is to drive from some place to another at high speeds. He said it seems like a dangerous concept. He said he heard from Adam Carolla who told him about Hulk Hogan's son street racing and someone was injured really bad in his car. Robin said he was really severely injured. Howard said Adam races but only on a track. He said that way they can only kill each other on the track.
Howard said they interviewed Kurt Busch up at Sirius and he was saying that Ronnie is a really bad driver. He said he was one of the slowest. Robin said that Ronnie is oblivious to the fact that your reaction times slow as you age. Howard played a clip of Kurt talking about Ronnie and how he was happy to have Ronnie talking about it on the show with Howard. Then Kurt said that Ronnie is pretty slow in a car. He said they had video on everything and he was the slowest driver in the group. Howard thanked Aaron Bronster for those clips.
Howard said it must kill Ronnie that they said he was slow. Ronnie came in saying that he never said he was fast. He said they were stuck in traffic. He said he was only on one leg of it. Howard said he's saying that he was the slowest in that group. Ronnie said he was stuck in traffic. He said they didn't come in last. He said Kurt was trying to be funny. Robin said he wasn't talking about a ''we'' he was talking about Ronnie. Ronnie said he heard it.
Ronnie said he was eating breakfast and he's bothering him with this. Howard replayed the clip for him. Ronnie said he was in the most traffic. Howard said that's kind of rude. Ronnie said he's crying over it.
Howard said he never said he was slow. Ronnie said Howard puts him down all the time. Howard said he didn't with this. He said Ronnie was sucking Kurt's Busch over the vacation. He said he gave him a gift and he's never done that for him. Ronnie said he gave him a gift for inviting him to drive in his car. Fred said it was his personal dildo. Robin said he can let his dick go now. Ronnie said he gave him something he didn't have.
Howard asked Brent what he thinks about this. Ronnie said sure, bring Brent in. Brent said he has to ask about the reflex test they took. Brent came in and said that he thought it was funny that he said he was slow. Ronnie said Brent thinks that he hates him and he's telling everyone that. He said he told them that at the Met game the other night. Brent said he knows Ronnie hates him. Brent said that Ronnie owes him an apology for saying he's slow. Howard said Kurt is some buddy. He said he has to check his ego at the door. Ronnie said he never said he was a star. Howard said he's heard some things. Ronnie asked what he heard. Howard said it's enough with you. He said Kurt threw him under the bus. Ronnie said that's fine. He said he can play that clip every day if he wants to. Ronnie said he got to drive that car for the day he was in Vegas.
Howard asked how Kurt's jizz tastes. Ronnie said it's awesome. Ronnie said that he did better than Brent in the reflex test. Brent said it doesn't matter because he doesn't drive.
Howard asked if Kurt is a slow driver. Ronnie said he's not the number one driver out there. He said he might be slowing down.
Howard said Kurt did call Ronnie the slowest driver. He played the clip again where Kurt said he was the slowest driver and they have video of it. Howard said that had to hurt. Ronnie said it was horrible. Ronnie said he was insulted. He said he didn't know about it. He thanked Howard for playing that. Brent asked if he's going to do more road rallies. Ronnie said sure. Brent said that he's going to be like Dick Trickle who came in last in a ton of races. Ronnie said he beat Brent in the reflex test. Brent said he doesn't care about that. Brent said you have to appreciate Kurt saying what he said.
Howard said once in a while maybe Kurt should suck Ronnie off. Howard took a call from fake Kurt who said Ronnie is a slow ass old geezer. He said he got a butt plug as a gift from him. Howard asked what he actually gave him. Fake Kurt asked why he pushed his girlfriend into the pool. Ronnie said he was just having fun. He said it didn't bother her. He said she wasn't all dressed up. Howard said they should throw Ronnie in the pool. Ronnie said that's fine.
Howard said it's so angry to throw someone into a pool. Ronnie said they were having fun. Robin asked what she did to Ronnie to get herself thrown into the pool. Ronnie said she kept saying that she wanted to go into the pool. Howard said he didn't see that on the tape. Ronnie said she kept saying it and she had some drinks. He said she went into the pool. Howard said he pushed her in violently. Robin said she wasn't doing anything and he pushed her into it. She said that wasn't ''us fooling around.'' Ronnie said everyone thought it was funny. He said she thought it was funny. He told Howard to call her. Howard said he's not calling her.
Howard said he was surprised that he was able to push someone that hard. He said he did it and then laughed. Robin said that they were fucking around. Howard said they were fucking around. Robin said that got her pushed in the pool. Ronnie said it was a cry for help. Howard said he thought it was kind of weird. Ronnie said he thinks everything he does is weird. Brent asked if Beth would be mad if he did that to her. Howard said oh yeah. He said she'd say ''fuck you, it's over.'' He said it would be a whole thing.
Howard said what would be funny on Facebook is to set her on fire and then throw her in the pool. Robin said just set her on fire when she complains about being cold. Ronnie said it was 108 degrees out there. He said it was hot. Howard said that's why he didn't set her on fire. Howard said you have to see this video. He said they sent it right to him. Ronnie said of course they did. He said he grabbed her phone first before he pushed her in. Howard said he should send that video to the police. Ronnie said he should. He said it's horrible and terrible. Brent said Ronnie still thinks it's funny though.
Howard said he still has Kurt on the phone. Fake Kurt said he should drop a piano on her head next time.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Kurt works for a guy who killed another driver. He said that he works for Tony Stewart. Brent said he has to defend Tony on that. Ronnie said the guy was high on weed and jumped at the car. Brent was talking about that too but Howard said he doesn't care. He said he was trying to bust balls and this guy is getting into something heavy.
Howard said they should shelve this conversation and have it at a pool party. Robin asked why Ronnie is showing off so much. Ronnie said he wasn't showing off. Howard said he wants to be funny and interesting and that's why he does this. Howard said he saw the camera and he threw his woman under the bus. Ronnie said he threw her in the fucking pool. Howard said she was wearing shoes. Ronnie said she was wearing sneakers.
Howard said he has to calm down with that stuff. Ronnie said that he's fine. He told Brent to stop smoking so much weed and his reflexes will be faster. Brent said it doesn't matter. Ronnie said that the people he was with thought it was funny when he threw Stephanie in the pool. Howard said he wouldn't do that to his woman. Gary said it's funny because she thinks she's getting a hug and she gets thrown in the pool. Ronnie then gives high fives to the guys instead of helping her out of the pool. Brent said his wife would be so pissed if he did that to her. Howard said he thinks someone pulled that joke on Natalie Wood. Ronnie said maybe next time he'll throw her in the ocean. Howard said girls don't like being thrown in a pool when they're dressed up. Ronnie said she wasn't dressed up.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they can call him Ronnie the Slow Driver now. Ronnie said that's fine. Howard said he thinks it's weird that he called him a slow driver. He said he went and participated in the rally and then he gets on TV and says he's a slow driver. Ronnie said it's just like being there. He said he was trying to be funny.
Howard played a song parody about Ronnie's driving that Ronnie sang. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said everyone loved Riley. He said that he claimed to have been kidnapped by Aliens. Robin said they stopped kidnapping him once they met him. Howard said he would give shout outs to the listeners and in 2010 Sal and Richard sent in some fake names for him to give shout outs to. He said they got him to say Willy Fistergash and he also had Hugh Jassole. Howard played the audio of that.
Howard said he misses that voice. He said whenever you hear those names you'll know where they came from. Howard said even the first two guys he mentioned were friends of Richard and Sal's. Howard asked how you fall for that. He said that as long as you said you were a big fan he would read your name.
Howard played a clip of Robin singing and asked if they remember where that came from. Robin said she remembers it being a top 5 thing she was doing in the news. She didn't remember what song it was. Howard said it was a Justin Bieber song. He played the song and more of Robin singing that song. He said that led to them doing the ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' song parody. He played some of that too.
Howard said now you know the origin of those clips. He said that's why Fred plays that and enjoys it. He said he thinks ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' is better than the original.
Howard asked if you remember this clip. He played Sal saying ''Prelevant.'' Howard said they had a discussion about oral cancer and he thought that porn stars get STDs for a reason and Howard had a point that Sal thought was ''prevailant'' or ''prelevant.'' Howard played the clip from that day when say wasn't able to get the word right.
Howard said that's great. He had a couple more and asked if Robin wants to hear. Robin said of course. Howard played Richard Simmons saying ''milky sauce.'' Howard said they hired Richard Christy in 2004 and one of his bits was chopping up Richard Simmons' audio book and that's where that came from. Howard played a clip that Richard had created with the Richard Simmons audio book. In that clip he had Richard Simmons say ''milky sauce.'' Howard said that was a great bit and that's where that clip came from.
Howard played a Beetlejuice clip where he said ''goo for him!'' Howard said Beetlejuice was in a horrible mood that day he was in back in 2005. He said Gilbert Gottfried was on the show that day and Beetlejuice never cared about meeting anyone like that. Howard played the clip from that day where Howard was talking to Gilbert and told Beetlejuice about him working with Eddie Murphy. Beetlejuice said ''Goo for him.'' Howard said he went into production with a TV show where Beetlejuice and Gilbert solved murder mysteries together. Howard said he had never heard Beetlejuice so depressed. He said it was actually scary.
Howard played a ''Oh good for you!'' clip and that was Christian Bale who had a moment on the set of Terminator Salvation. Howard said it was a lighting guy who moved a light on set and Christian lost it. Howard played the full clip where Bale went off on the guy.
Howard said he thinks he was trying to impress Bryce Dallas Howard who was on set. He had walked behind her with the light. Robin said that movie was terrible. Howard said he doesn't remember it. Howard said the lighting must have been all wrong. Robin said Christian grew up a child actor and he has had a rather privileged life. She said that must be where that comes from.
Howard played another drop where you hear a guy screaming out in pain. Howard said that is from a TV show in march of 2010 and it was an intervention show. He said this son was pleading for help from his dad and his dad let out this yell. Howard played the full clip. Robin said that's a real clip. Howard said that's an intervention. Howard wondered if the guy ever straightened out after that. He said he likes the second part of that. Fred said it gets drowned out when he plays it. Howard said that's Stephanie getting out of the pool after Ronnie pushes her in. Fred played some drops of someone falling in water and the guy yelling out. Howard said he's going to take a break and get David Spade in there. They went to break after Howard did a live commercial read.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and asked Fred where that Cheap Trick song was from. Fred said it's from the show from '06. Howard said that's a beautiful performance and he's talking over it.
Howard said he has David Spade there. He said David was just on Good Morning America promoting a bunch of things. Howard said he's completely ready for this. David said he sees they have that cheap couch in there. Howard asked if it's really cheap. David said it works. He said it's fine. It works with the whole thing.
Howard said it's good to see him. David said he hits Howard up when he hears something funny in the car. Howard said he likes when he does that. He said that makes him feel good. David said that Robin throws in some funny lines and the drops are great. He said that he always says ''Good for you!'' like Christian Bale. Howard asked if David has ever done that on set. David said he just tries to get out of there without being fired. Howard said David is self aware. He said David has a new audio book out (A Polaroid Guy in a Snapchat World) and he heard when he turned 50 he bought himself a red Ferrari and within days he realized he didn't feel comfortable driving it. David said you grow up as a kid and you have a poster with a Ferrari in it. He said you see that and it has the best engine and it looks cool. He said that's great for a kid. He said then you wait until you get older when you can afford it. He said he got one and sitting in it is like laying in a lawn chair. He said he looked like a fucking moron. He said he had one car that had doors that went up like a Delorean. He said he felt like an asshole in it.
Howard said most comedians are self aware. He said he earned the car. He said that he talks about how the Kardashians buy cars like that and they don't care. David said when he was a kid he'd feel bad for not having stuff like that. He said that there's this thought process where people think they have to show how much wealth they have. Howard said he came from a generation where you're embarrassed by it. David said he takes private jets and he feels like an asshole taking pictures on it. He said then he wonders if people think he's broke. He said sometimes he wants to show that he's having fun. He said there's this thing called FOMO which is fear of missing out. He said Instagram is the place for that. He said you can show people where you are and he thinks he's really doing nothing. He said he has that fear when he sees stuff.
Howard said he likes what David is doing on Instagram. He said he reads the news on there. David said that's what he's doing. He said he's going to have a show where he does things similar to that. Howard said it must be fun being able to walk around goofing on people in his neighborhood goofing on people. David said it's good for people who enjoy that kind of humor. He said there are people who do 30 second videos on Instagram. He said they chop it up and they want to get that on his show. He said these people say they're really funny but they may not be their speed.
Howard said David has this new audio book where he basically talks to you for 6 hours. He said that's a good idea. He said it's called A Polaroid Guy in a Snapchat World and it's available this Thursday the 19th. David said he talks about anything these days. He said he talks about going to the doctor and things like that. He said that it's a little different for him now. Howard said he doesn't think of him as a 54 year old. David said he doesn't fly that around on a blimp. Howard said David Brenner was good at hiding his age. He took 10 years off his age. Howard said he was even upset about the age he was at with the lie. David said he hates girls who have Google. He said that Clooney was the one who ruined it. He said he was 50 and having a blast. David said that it's tragic with him.
Howard said in his new book he points out that he dated the Hot for Teacher video girl from the Van Halen video. He said she was hot. David said she was unbelievable. Howard said he has the ability to move on though. David said there was something wrong with him. He said he can't blame the girls anymore. He said he gets panicked and resistant. David said he forgot he even mentioned that in the book. He said he remembers mentioning it. Howard said David has dated everyone he has beat off to. He asked if he knew the girl was from the video. David said she was stunning. He said he's not sure how he met her. Howard asked how he doesn't know. David said it was early on moving to L.A. He said he was doing some stand up clubs and he wasn't even on Saturday Night Live. He said he may have been throwing around Police Academy 4 though.
Howard said David was a solid stand up comedian. David said he had about 30 minutes but not a full hour. Howard said he was doing dates in Las Vegas. David said that was 21 shows for 500 bucks. He said he loved that. He said he was doing the shows in the Riviera but not even staying in that casino.
Howard said people don't realize how good David is at stand up. David said he thinks he's okay. Howard asked if he's angry. David said he does get pissy but he does like his stand up. He said some nights he thinks he's good. He said you can be flowing and do a good job and sometimes he can do well. He said he is more excited to be funny in real life though. He said he likes to think of stuff that's funny. Howard said that's why his Instagram is funny. David said anything he likes in life means a lot to him. Howard said when he's off the cuff funny it's great. He said that's what his Instagram is.
Howard asked if he rushes to put it on Instagram if he comes up with something funny. David said he might do it there but then he might try it in his act. He said he'll go to the Comedy Store like twice a week to keep sharp. He said the guy who runs the place puts him on whenever he wants. Howard said if you don't go that often then you can't keep it up. David said he wants to do well and if someone is going to go see him at a club or something he wants to do well. He said they're paying a lot to see him. He said if he doesn't do some of his old bits then it won't be seamless. He said he caught himself the other night missing something in his set list. He said he keeps a list on stage. He said he got to this bit and he wasn't able to remember it. He said he missed the middle of the bit. David said he remembers seeing Steve Miller one night. He said he asked if he was doing the song Serenade one night and he said that it was such a long song that sometimes he'll skip it. David said he'll do that with a bit too. He said he'll get to it and it's too complicated. He said he'll have to say it out loud at home to make sure he gets it right.
Howard asked David about the Van Halen girl again. He said that's big news to him. Howard asked if he ever watches that video to remind himself of that. David said no because he's mad at himself for screwing that up. David said he was always shocked that she liked him and she was so nice. David said the thing about not being 6'5'' tall is that people know they can take him. He said he was with this girl once and a guy stepped between them and he was wondering if the guy was joking. He said she told the guy that she was with him and the guy said ''Yeah, okay. You're with me now.'' David said that he can't do anything about it.
Howard said he dated a girl who was very attractive in high school and this football player guy laughed when he found out. Howard said people aren't scared of him either. He said there's pressure to date a girl that hot. He said guys are going to interrupt. David said he kind of faded out on her. He said he looks back on it and he was afraid to stay in her place. He said he was resisting it toward the end and he was avoiding her. He said he doesn't know what he's doing.
Howard said he must have been damaged while he was a kid. He said he has to have trauma. He asked if he has ever analyzed that. David said he tries to avoid it. Howard said he sees that girl and he's getting married. He said he's locked in. David said he doesn't know how he walked away from that. He said he knew he was bananas when he did that. Howard said his friends must have thought he was out of his mind. He said he had a 10 and he had never even had a 6.
David said no one even considered him in school. He said that people say it might be the money and fame. He said that's good enough for him. Howard said people say that about him and Beth. David said at least girls can over look that stuff. He said that they are okay with you if you're interesting. He said that he was doing stand up at night and he was sneaking out to do it. He said this girl met him and he wasn't the typical Arizona guy. He said that piqued her interest.
Howard asked if he's following the Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande thing. David said he can't stop looking at it. Howard said it seemed to happen in weeks that they got engaged. David said engaged is the new second base. He said he should have done that with the Hot for Teacher chick. David said that anyone he has dated he doesn't really have bad blood with. He said he hasn't kept in touch though. He said most of the time he's better as friends. He said that's good in a way because very few people stay together for life. He said the fucking hate of marriages and divorces are rough. He said it's sickening. David said he tries to keep things good. He said that he'll go out with people and it's just not in the cards. He said he'll get dumped and some girls won't give him a chance at all.
Howard asked if there's a proper way to break up with someone. David said if you text someone then girls are so incensed. He said that he wishes there was something less than text. He said he texted a girl once to break up. He said that things just fizzled out. He said that's what they said in the past. David said he heard this girl was fucking another guy so he had to break up. David said that the girl says that he's not even a man. He said if you call then they complain about that. He said then if you're doing it in person they still get upset. He said that there is no way to do it without upsetting them. David said that they'll tell him that he owes them that to show up in person.
David said once this girl broke up with him and he said she had to meet him in person. He said that she met him. He said that she isn't going to stick around and he knows she's just going to stick with her decision.
Howard asked what you write to someone when you break up. David said usually Emojis will tell the story. Howard said he feels like he has a bead on this technology. David said he tries to stay in the mix. He said he has FOMO and he has FOGO too. He said he has fear of going out. He said he stays home a lot.
Howard said older guys say ''porno'' and David talks about that in his book too. David said that he got caught saying that. He said he got caught going into the world's biggest adult book store once. He said he went to this place and it's so embarrassing. He said he had to walk one mile to get there. He said there is nowhere else he could be walking. Howard said now you can get your porn on your phone.
David said he was at the book store and he isn't one of those guys who doesn't talk to people. He said he was walking home and had a bag of magazines. He said that they're all honking at him telling him to go home and jerk off.
Howard asked if he ever jerked off in the book store. David said he was sort of dancing around that. Howard said he can't picture him doing that. David said it's hard core that he brought it up. David didn't remember talking about it in his book. He said it puts him in a bad light. He said he was only 21 at the time. David said they had videos in the store and he went in to watch. He said he was watching it and he was like ''Oh no.'' He said she looked like a girl he went out with. He said this girl was getting ram rodded and he was like ''Uh oh.'' He said that he was 21 and it was a simpler time. David said he'd like to say that everyone has done that but he knows they have not.
Howard said he has so many things he's promoting today. He said he has ''Father of the Year'' on Netflix. David said that he and Nat Faxon are in that. Howard asked if he went to them with that. David said they came to him actually. He said the movie ''The Do Over'' did well and they came to him. He said Adam Sandler is the producer of the movie. David said he's a beat up dad and his kids are friends with Nat's kids in the movie. He said he fights him over and over in the movie. He said it's an R-rated kind of movie. Howard asked if there's nudity. David said that it's him that's nude. Howard said his ass is in good shape. He said he doesn't have any cellulite on that thing. David said overall it's not too bad. Howard asked if he has ever shown his penis on film. David said it doesn't show up on film.
Howard asked if he has taken dick pics. David said he has not sent one. He said you can take it of just not your face and you're fine. Howard asked if he would ever do that. David said it's not showing well. He said if he had a big donkey dick he might. Howard said Heather Locklear said he has a big cock. David said he thinks they just say that because it sounds nice. Howard said he doesn't think she would do that. David said he loves her. He said he stays in touch with her. David said he was checking in on her recently. He said she's always so sweet and nice. He said he loves hanging out with her. Howard said she was always very kind to him.
David said he always lets her know that he's thinking about her. He said she was great. Howard said not many girls go public and say you have a big dick. David said that is nice. Howard said he even thought of him differently after that. David said that they have to come up with something that makes it okay they went out with him.
Howard asked if David has ever tried to take a dick pic. David said he saw one where this guy had his feet up and had his dick in a choke hold. He said he's not going to do that. Howard said he'd claim he wasn't hard even when he is. He said there's so much stuff to worry about these days.
David said he did try to take one once. He said he took it from the back and his dick wasn't even in it. He said it was all balls. He said that's a niche market. David said that he laid down flat and that didn't work. Howard asked if he has a big bush. David said that someone said you can't have that. He said he can't shave everything though. He said it's within reason.
David said he has girls with the old school bush. He said that's what he was brought up on. Howard asked if it's girls today. David said it is. He said he went out with girls who looked like they had an air bag go off in their panties.
Howard said everything is so exhausting. He said you have to worry about so much stuff. David said he thinks this is a very dirty interview. Howard said there's 6 hours of this stuff in his audio book. David said it's all funny to him. Howard said he talks about body odor in the book. David forgot about that. He said in the book he tells women to stay in air conditioning before sex. David said that there's a small percentage of girls who like having that smell. Howard said he warns women that it's not reciprocal. David said he didn't say that. Howard said he had better go back and listen to the book. David said sometimes he'd just tell them to leave stuff in that he was coming up with off the top of his head.
Howard said talked about the name Caitlyn and how it's just not a good name for her. David said that it's too modern a name. He said it was her way of trying to seem younger. He said her name should be Barb Jenner or something. He said Marge or Patsy would be good too. He said Caitlyn isn't a good name for her.
Howard said that everyone is talking about David's new book ''A Polaroid Guy in a Snapchat World'' except David. Howard said he should listen to it. David said that he hasn't listened to it. He said the audio book thing is hard to do. He said that he isn't a podcast kind of guy either. He said they had more than normal sales for his last audio book so this one he just did in audio. He said he did write it down though. Howard said he went berserk when he sat down with it. He said he loves it though. He said he loves that he talked about jerking off in the booth.
Howard said he'd tell people to go listen. David said that the Netflix movie is dirty too. He said it's like seeing Animal House. David said it's fun to do one like that. Howard said he likes R-rated movies.
Howard said about a year ago David said he would do anything for Beth to raise money for charity. Howard said he has to come up with something. David said he came over and he let Harper play with all of the cats. Howard said that they're having a fund raiser in August and David will be there. He said this is a tiny place and there will be other celebrities there. David said that he told Beth they can do small or even bigger. He said anyone who comes on the show will come out. He said it doesn't have to be that big but it's a great excuse to hang out. David said he'll do it by himself if she wants. He said it's like a maiden voyage for her. Howard said he thinks it's going to be a loose night. He said that she wants him to introduce him. He said he may not want that. David said he wants her cat Coconut to bring him out.
Howard said that should be a fun night. David said that it will be. Howard said Beth just heard the adult book store story and she doesn't want him to do it now. Howard said he's looking forward to seeing him that night. He said he can't wait. He said it's very nice of him to raise money for the North Shore animal League. Howard said that's on August 18th at Steven's Talk House.
Howard asked David about doing the Tonight Show last night. David said he takes all of that seriously. He said he takes Howard's show seriously too. He said it's a big deal to come on the show. He said he doesn't have a lot of people eon the show since he does like 9 shows a year. Howard said he brings his A-game when he's on a talk show. He said it's always good.
David said to be the first guest you have to have something going on. He said if they know you're trying hard they'll ask if you just want to come on. He said that they don't want that guest who just wants the host to ask the questions. Howard asked if he would go on second. David said that he has to think about that. David said once he was at this place and these guys reeked of not being famous. He said they stopped drinking and they were just bullshitting. He said the place was packed and he said they should get out of there. He said that they dropped two desserts on them to chase them out of there. He said that he saw Fetty Wap waiting to get in his booth.
Howard asked if he has ever been on a show where he went ''Are you kidding me?'' when he saw who it was. David said he's sure he has. David said he was on a show once and he was stressed out from going place to place. He said they wanted to do a quick bit with the cast of some show. He said that they had to do this whole thing and he did sort of pitch a fit. He said he had to get out of there. He said he was thinking they were taking precedence over him. David said you get constant reminders of that stuff. He said you get gut checked all the time. He said there are so many subtle things they do.
Howard said they never got to the Pete Davidson thing and if he thinks he should stay engaged or get married. David said that it's hard. He said when he was dating people who were known they would try not to get it out there. He said you don't want to hear the comments. He said you also don't know if it's real or not. He said they know right off the bat that it's forever. He said that's fine. He said maybe it's cool to hide it and they're not doing that. Howard said it's like a no win situation. David said it is sort of. David said that the new element of that is the Instagram followers. He said if Pete makes one wrong move he's in trouble. He said it can be terrifying. Howard said he didn't realize he's in a tricky place.
Howard asked if he knows Pete. David said he did a roast with him last year. He said he's a good guy. He said that he'd lock in with Ariana if he was with her. He said he'd be all tattooed up. Howard asked if Pete is A-list now. David said he is. Howard said David has had that happen. David said that's a mind fuck too. He said you want to do things on your own merits. He said 2 celebrities together makes 10. He said they're famous and they may only date other famous people. They talked about J-Lo and A-Rod dating like that.
Howard said he tried to hook him up with Christina Aguilera when she was at the top of her game. David said she wasn't overly friendly that night but she has been nice to him. Howard said she wasn't nice to him that night. He said he introduced her to him and he didn't even know her. Howard said he saw David checking her out that night and he asked if he wanted her. He said yes so he introduced them. Howard said he wanted to see him at work. He said he saw him working his magic. David said he was just trying to make her laugh. He said if you're talking to someone you're flirting.
David said he gets a lot of DMs from girls who flirt with him. He said this one girl DM'd him and said that she was a normal girl and if he wanted to meet up after the show she'd love to. She said no sex but she'd still like to meet him. He said he doesn't answer every one like that. David said he thought it was funny. He said he was about to go on and she wrote to him saying he looks cute tonight. He said she then said ''maybe sex.'' He said he ignored it and then she wrote to him ''Anal?'' in the middle of the night. David said that's a true story. He said that if someone messages him and just says ''hey'' it's basically saying ''Lets fuck.'' Howard said he doesn't know if it's harder or easier to date now. David said he has never been on Tinder. He said he usually hides when he's on the road. He said his buddy is on Tinder and Bumble and he was hooking up 3 girls a week. Howard said some of his guys are doing that. Howard said Memet is doing that. David said that's Ahmet. Robin called him Vomet.
Howard said how about Colin Jost going out with Scarlett Johansson. He said they're all using their David Spade moves. David said he thinks she's great. He said that's a great deal for him. He said she's always very nice out in L.A. when he runs into her. He said she's very sweet. He said she's a nice person in a crazy Hollywood world. He said Natalie Portman is like that too. He said they have their act together. He said he loves Cate Blanchett too. He said he has a celebrity crush on her. He said he told her that at some event too.
Howard said he has to say he's sorry about his sister in law. He said he's not sure what to say in those situations. He said he didn't know what to tell him. Howard said he was going to ask when you can be funny again. David said he had a show about a week later. He said it was sold out and he was moping around the house. He said he figured he should just do it. He said that people would probably give him a break but he went. He said it was a little too soon. He said that he was back stage thinking he could flip it on and off. He said the crowds were very nice. He said he was drifting off in the middle of his act. He said he got his brother to come out and his daughter too. He said they were getting a lot of attention out here. He said they all got a break from it. He said Kate and his brother were old school and they stayed in a lot. He said that they were so smart in that world. He said that he can't even believe he was related to either of them. David said all of this crazy press hit and even Andy didn't know what to do. He said that they didn't know how to handle all of this. He said then things were being leaked and he didn't know how. He said it was a horrible trauma. He said Katie was such a fun and well liked girl. He said they would have her out to Arizona and she was such a fake snooty person. He said that he'd laugh at everything that drove her bananas. He said they took Kate to an Indian Casino buffet on Christmas day. He said that he fit right in like Joe Dirt. He said that the bus boy was asking to help him because he knew him from Joe Dirt. He said that the guy called Kate Minnie Mouse because she was wearing a polka dot dress. He said he loved watching her squirm and hate it.
Howard asked if he's doing okay with it. David said he's stuffing it down where he stuffs everything else. Howard said he did write to him but he didn't know what to say. David said anyone who wrote means well and it feels good. He said on Good Morning America they asked him one thing and he got misty. David said he remembers the old Kate being so fun. He said that they all worked in a clothing store together so that's how his brother and Kate met.
Howard asked if it was pressure for him to make it when his brother was doing so well. David said he started making money and then they went off like a rocket ship and blew him away. He said he loaned them some money and they ended up paying him back. He said he should have asked for part of the business.
David sad that he's a big money loaner. He said he's sure Howard is too. Howard said he is. David thanked Howard for talking to him today. Howard gave him some plugs for the book, the Netflix movie and said if you want to have sex with him just DM him.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said that most people check out at some point but David is a valuable observer of the dating world. Robin said he can tell you want it's like from the 70s, 80s, 90s and 2000's.
Howard said he wasn't in on the planning for the charity event. He said he was hoping nothing would go wrong. He said David was very nice about it. Robin said he seems to be completely on board and he wants to do it. Howard said he saw some of the people who bought tickets and they had better be on it that night. Howard said he didn't know that David loved animals so much. He said that he brought his daughter over to their house and she had fun playing with their cats. He said he never thinks of David like that. Robin said she's not sure what he said about Pete Davidson. Howard said he wasn't able to follow that either. Robin said she thinks he was saying to keep that relationship secret. Howard said he's right about the fans going after him if he fucks up. He said that he fucked up and said something about Britney Spears and her fans came after him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was calling to play some new music. Howard asked if he's yelling out the window. His phone sounded awful. The caller said that he wanted to turn him onto a cover of Crimson and Clover that Prince did. Howard said he's not sure what's up with the phone connection. He said that sounded awful. Robin said there was a lot going on there. Fred found the song the guy was talking about. He played it for Howard. Howard liked the first few seconds and let it play. He said he's not liking it that much. He said he's sure his family released it and there's no way he wanted that released. Fred said it came out in 2009. Howard said maybe he did want it out. Howard said he did it live on the Ellen show too. Howard said he loves Prince but he's not digging that. He said they can't all be the Batman soundtrack. He said that was a great fucking album. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Gary's toothbrush. One of the guys in the back was playing the part and talking about the ''quadrants'' that they talked about in the commercial break. Howard asked Gary about seeing gunk blow out from his Water Pik. Gary said he does. He said that's the point of the whole thing. Howard said it's like a fire hose. Gary said it is kind of like that. Howard said he used to have a whole thing with baking soda and all of that. Gary said that was a long time ago. He said that his gums are very healthy now. Howard said he didn't know he switched to Quip. That's the thing he did the commercial for earlier. Fred played some Water Pik noises and stuff like that while they were talking about it. Howard said he used to have a thing on the channel 9 show where he could Water Pik Gary's teeth. He said it was set up on a helmet like a GoPro. Howard played a Gary throat clearing song parody after that.
Robin started her news with a story about an Alabama man who walked close to 20 miles to work getting a car from the CEO of the place where he works. Robin said this guy's car broke down so he walked to work 20 miles. Robin said word got to the higher ups and the CEO said that was incredible and they ended up getting him a car. Howard said people who are rewarded like that is great.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that the channel 9 show description was cracking her up. She said that Howard is amazing and so is Robin. She said she's so glad she's doing well. Howard said he is too. He said he was getting emotional about her. He said he thought he had lost her. the caller, Mary, said she has been on a long journey with him. Howard said she's his longest relationship. He said he's known Fred longer but that's not a relationship. He said Robin has been a rock. He said that he has to say this to Fred too though. He said when he thought he had lost Robin he turned into a blubbering baby. He said she was fine but he wasn't. He said the fact that she's there doing well is great. He tried to find some wood to knock on. He said he gets a hangnail and he gets a bad attitude. He said Robin just hung in there. Robin said that happiness isn't in some place. He said that it's an inner state that you must achieve for yourself. Fred played her news music over her while she was saying that. Howard said she has the attitude of a slow adult. He said she's happy all the time.
Robin said that Walmart is getting ready to possibly take Netflix on. Howard said they are a little late to the party. Robin said they will undercut them on price. Robin said that they would be under $8. Howard said Netflix had this great idea and they have built this empire. He said they're doing really well. He said now everyone wants to be like Netflix. He said that HBO was bought out by AT&T and now they want to be like Netflix. He said this guy who runs HBO wants quality programming but the AT&T guys want more content. He said it was an interesting article. Howard and Robin spent a couple of minutes talking about that. He said he likes that Walmart is doing that. He said he thinks it's fine. Robin said they undercut everyone though. She said they put Blockbuster and Tower Records out of business. Howard said he thinks he likes the idea. Robin said he's being naive. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
After the commercial read Howard was talking about how he isn't in shape like the guys on The Bachelorette. He said he has seen guys who try to do that and work and their business goes under. He said he didn't hit the gym until he was about 45. Robin said if he had worked out really hard maybe he could have ended up as a wrestler. Howard said imagine that. He did his wrestler impression and said he could have been a wrestler with his gift of gab. Howard said Vince McMahon was super successful with that whole thing. He said he's killed other wrestling federations with the WWE. He said that it is kind of like the radio business with the goofy names they give people.
Robin read a story about yesterday being Prime Day. Howard said he meant to buy the new Kindle but he forgot. Robin said they say that the event brought in a lot of cash. She said they think they sold more than $3 billion worth of merchandise. Howard said that is an amazing company.
Robin read a story about how President Trump is trying to walk back on some things he said in Helsinki. Robin said yesterday after a lot of fallout, even from FOX News, Trump decided he had to explain what happened. Robin had audio of what his excuse was. Howard asked who he is listening to over there. He asked what he's doing. He said he had to hate being President yesterday. He said this can't be going well for him. Robin said she was looking at him the other day and he looked older to her. She said he has been aged by the job. Howard said he thought he would glide through it just golfing. He said he hates being made fun of and Hollywood people hating him. He said he fucked up the whole Russia thing. He said even FOX News can't defend him. He said he knows he fucked up. He said it's a mess. He said you can't stand next to Putin and kiss his ass. He said he kills his opponents. Robin said you can't say you believe him over his own intelligence service. Howard said he may have to call him and explain things to him. He said Arnold Schwarzenegger slammed him too. Howard had the audio of Arnold goofing on Trump about how he sold out the intelligence in this country and sold out the country too. Howard said Arnold fucked up too with the maid but when he starts goofing on you then you're all fucked up. Robin said Trump went on Tucker Carlson last night and said that he is not pro-Russia. She said he's trying to climb out of a hole he dug for himself.
Robin read more about Trump and what other people are saying about this back tracking. Robin had clips of Adam Schiff, Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell commenting on the Russian meddling in the election.
Howard said Trump had such a great life. He said he has to call him and tell him what's really going on and how he has to stop thinking this meddling in the election doesn't mean that he didn't win the election. He said the guy had it made before this. He said once Mueller drops the bomb Trump is going to be miserable. He said Mueller is going to put half the country in jail. Robin said he should hang in there. She said that she doesn't want Mike Pence in office. Howard said Donald has to be freaking out. Robin said that everyone is trying to remind him of what Russia really is. Robin had more audio clips for Howard to play. Howard said he has to get out of this thing because it's all going to come crumbling down on him. Howard said you can't stand up there saying American Intelligence doesn't know what they're doing. He said Putin is bad for the world and Russia. Howard said he knows people who talk to Trump a coupe of times a week. He said maybe the guy should call him. He said he might be able to help. He said maybe Stuttering John can tell him how to get through to Donald.
Robin read a story about how Barrack Obama was talking about Trump without mentioning his name. She had some audio for Howard to play where he was talking about politicians who lie and continue to lie. Howard said Obama wasn't fun like Trump is. He said he turns on the news and every day there's something new. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about hate crimes being up in the country. Robin said they have jumped more than 12 percent. Robin said that in New York more than half are against the Jews. Robin said in Los Angeles it's mostly against homosexuals.
Robin read about the All Star game that was on last night. Robin said that a baseball player is apologizing for racist comments he made at the age of 17. Robin had audio of him apologizing for what he did. Robin said he wrote ''I hate gay people'' and ''white power lol'' and other things. Robin said apparently you can stop being a racist in a matter of 3 years. Gary said the story broke during the game and the family turned their jersey's inside out while it was going on. Howard said the world is a very dangerous place. Robin said you don't need to tell everyone what you're thinking. Robin said if he was thinking it and didn't write it down he would have had a nice night in the game.
Robin read a story about a black man awaiting trial who is seeking a change of venue because there's a confederate statue near the court house.
Robin read a story about a guy who was executed in Texas for killing a man. Robin said the family of the man he killed was trying to stop the execution.
Robin read a story about a man who is supposed to have been put to death this morning in Ohio. Robin said that the guy hasn't executed anyone in 7 years. Robin said he had burgers, cheese cake and a milk shake for his final meal.
Robin read a story about Elton Musk apologizing to one of the heroes who helped save the soccer players in Thailand. Robin said that he attacked a cave diver who played a key role in the rescue. Robin said that Musk shot back at the guy who was saying his rescue plan was a publicity stunt and he called the guy a ''Pedo.'' Robin said that Musk is apologizing for that now.
Robin said that these things listened as ''milk'' in the grocery store are not real milk. She said that the FDA is changing the regulations. Robin said that soy milk is not real milk. She said that they may expand the rules about these things to include them as ''milk.''
Robin read a story about Robert Plant adding more dates to his band's tour in the United States. Robin had some of his music for Howard to play.
Robin said that Billy Joel is about to play his 100th show at Madison Square Garden this weekend. Howard said that's crazy. Robin said that he has said that he will keep going as long as there are ticket sales. Howard said that's great. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Today's show was over around 11:05am.
Today's show was over around 11:05am.