| Monday | Tuesday |
|
|
| Wednesday | Thursday |
|
|
| Friday | |
|
|
Howard started the show taking a call from a guy who said he has been listening forever. He said the new studio sounds amazing. He said he just wanted to say that for whoever it is. Howard said they have a team of guys who handle that. He said Dave Matthews is coming in today and he's going to sound great too. He said in the old days they didn't have that confidence. Howard asked Jim McClure who is on that team. He said he thinks Thom is on that team. He said they call him Thom even though his name is Tom.
Jim came in and said that they have a few guys he quickly named. He said they also work with Steve Brandano. Howard thanked him for that and Fred played him off with some music.
Howard said that it's mostly done thanks to his professionalism there. He let the caller go after that. He said he directed those guys. He said they have a great team there who do a great job. He said they're up all night getting ready for those musical acts.
Howard said Dave is going to do 3 songs. He said he's doing a cover, one hit song and something new. He said it's going to be exciting.
Howard said he's very annoyed with the Radio Hall of Fame. He said Kid Kelly wanted to be in it so badly and he was saying that it was idiotic. He said it's idiotic there is a hall of fame. He said that it was started in some dude's basement. He said Kid Kelly got in of course. He said he was paying people to vote him in. He said that people voted for him even when they hadn't heard of him.
Howard said he had a problem with the whole thing. He said that he was inducted himself even though he didn't care. Then they created a category where listeners have to vote. He said that's why their industry sucks so bad. He said they're making it into a contest. He said if it was a real hall of fame people would just be inducted. He said they made it into a competition. He said it was Kid vs. John Tesh and someone named Angela Martinez.
Howard said Kid Kelly went up to Gary saying that he didn't feel worthy of being inducted in. Howard said they taped him being told he made it in. Howard had some audio to play. He had audio of him screaming ''Yes!'' over and over. It wasn't really him. Howard said his wife was even more excited. He played a porn clip where they had a woman screaming that she was going to cum.
Howard said that the induction ceremony is there in New York City in November. He said it's a black tie event.
Howard said he's sure Kid Kelly will thank them in his speech. He said John Tesh was upset he didn't win. He played a clip of a guy crying ''Noooo'' and then played a clip of a woman talking about being a loser for Angie Martinez.
Howard read about the votes that came in for this thing. He said it was a record number at close to half a million. Howard said that they're all happy now because people are talking about it. He said that's the problem with the whole thing. He said they're making people campaign for this hall of fame.
Howard read about the nominations and the votes. He said that the inductees by vote were Mark Levine, Kid Kelly and others. He said there were regular people who were inducted like Johnny B. Robin asked if he's still on the air. Howard said he was recently but he's not sure now. He said they email once in a while. He said radio is a great career. He said you should go into it. He said Jim Kerr is in and he's still on the air. He said that guy is good. Robin said he's been in the industry since he was 16 and he just got in. Howard said he has sounded like a pro since he was 16. He said he used to listen to him on WPLJ and he was more professional sounding than he was. He said that guy was really good. He said he never thought he was going to get a job after hearing that guy.
Howard said everyone deserves to be in other than Dr. Laura Schlesinger. He asked if she's a medical doctor. Robin said no. Howard said they should do away with that. He said doctor used to mean something.
Howard said the Mike and Mike show is in the hall of fame. He read about some other sports shows that are in the hall of fame. He said he doesn't listen to any of those shows. He said Mad Dog should be in it. He said Joan Hamburg is in. He said she has to be like 90. He said he knows her.
Howard said he ran into Joan a while back and she looked like she was ready to go at any moment. He read about Fred Jacobs being in. He said he knows that name but he's not sure why.
Howard said people on the street were celebrating the Kid Kelly thing. He played a clip of some people being interviewed about it on the street. People had no idea who he was.
Howard said no one knew him. Robin said someone said ''I don't know her.'' Howard said no one even assumes a DJ would get an award. He said there you go.
Howard said the Military doesn't have a hall of fame and they're actually doing something. Howard read that Fred Jacobs was one of the creators for the classic rock format. Howard said a lot of these guys have columns. He said he reads that guy's stuff. He said radio is very simple to him. He said you just get on and do your thing and the sales department sells advertising. He said that was it. He said that's what it boils down to. He said they all deserve to be in. He said if you feel deprived then take his spot.
Howard played the song. He said that first line blows his mind. He said it's so poetic. He said that's an artist. He said that's some way to look at the world. He said he doesn't get worked up over poetry but that gets him.
Howard said when someone sings it like Chris Cornell's daughter then it's really meaningful. He said that Chris took his love away. Howard said no women were that in love with him. Robin said maybe he wasn't interested in the women who were interested in him. Howard said some of them did look pretty bad.
Howard said Sinead O'Connor changed the lyrics to different hours and days. He said she must be mental. Robin said maybe she had a different experience. Howard said she is mental so he bets for her it was like 13 is an unlucky number. He played her version of the song. He asked why she would change it. He said it was 13 hours and she changed it to 15. He did his impression of her talking about the song in that monotone. Howard said it had to be superstition that made her change it to 15.
Howard played more of Prince's studio version of the song. He said that was the first time he ever performed the song. He said most girls with him took their love away right after sex. He made up his own lyrics about how it had been just 30 seconds since they took their love away. Robin said it doesn't have the same ring. Howard sang about the girl who called her boyfriend in Albany after having sex with him. He said she took her love away after the quaaludes wore off. He sang about how she missed her boyfriend's bigger penis. He kept going with the song and made up how sex was with him in bed and how she took her love from him.
Howard said he's lost in his song. He said that's enough because it's too painful. He played more of Prince's early version of ''Nothing Compares 2 U.'' Howard said the family released that. He said we now have that to listen to. He said he listened to it over the weekend. Robin said the interesting thing is that other artists get to see the progression of someone they admire and would like to emulate.
Howard said he's really into music. He said he likes reading about how songs get created. He said he likes cover songs and he's glad Dave Matthews is going to do a cover today. Robin asked if he saw the carpool Karaoke with Paul McCartney. Howard said he basically did a 60 Minutes show with him. He said he was in the car for like 2 days of shooting. Howard said they did a whole band set up in a pub. He said he loved it. Robin said that was also interesting when they saw Penny Lane and then they went to the house he grew up in. Howard said even the guys who run the show must have been like ''Jesus... we used to just sing in the car.'' He said they were driving all over the place. Robin said it was great. Howard said it was terrific.
Robin told Howard about the show and he said she'd have to shoot him to get him to go to that. He asked where it was. Robin said it was at Cafe Carlisle. Howard said that's where you go to perform cabaret music. He said he's not even sure what that is. Robin said it's a club. Howard said he would never go there to see cabaret. Robin said she hopes some day one of his friends drags him there. Howard said he doesn't have any friends. He said maybe his wife would do that. Robin said some day maybe she will. Howard said she gets bored to shit by that stuff. Robin said stop it.
Howard said the song ''Proud Mary'' was written by John Fogarty in just 2 hours. He played some of the song and read how he wrote that. Howard read about some of the covers of that song that became hits. Howard played a little bit of Ike and Tina Turner's version. Howard said that Nick Cannon is really into them. He said he was being interviewed somewhere about Ike and Tina and he was talking about how great their music was but they just concentrate on the bad things Ike did. Howard said he's not getting the big picture. Howard played a clip of Nick talking about Ike. Howard said maybe his turban is cutting off circulation to his brain. Howard said Ike was a really bad dude. He said that's like saying they never talk about OJ's football career. He said he'll straighten Nick out next time he sees him. He said that's if he sees him because he doesn't see him around anymore.
Howard said Nick thinks that his wearing of turbans has become a style thing because of him. Howard played some of him talking about that. Howard said it's gotten so big that everyone is wearing them. Howard said Nick is sticking with it but he doesn't think anyone gives a fuck. He said he doesn't think it's caught on. Robin said he's diluted there as well. Robin said she hasn't seen a lot of turbans.
Howard said at the American Music awards Nick was talking about ''Turban up'' with the turbans. Howard said that's what Nick is up to.
Howard said getting back to cover songs he has a couple more. He said the song ''The Man who Sold the World'' was a David Bowie song and Nirvana remade it. Howard played Bowie's version and said it was never a single. He said it was a B-side. He said that Nirvana took it and covered the song. He said it became a big hit and Bowie said that he was blown away by their version. Howard played some of Nirvana's version. Howard said most people think that Nirvana wrote that song. He said he's just letting everyone know that they didn't.
Howard said that he got invited to that David Bowie museum thing. Robin said she went to that and they taught you that David invented a machine that was a word generator. Robin told Howard how it inspired him to write songs. Howard said how about just reading a fortune cookie instead. Robin said he wanted songs that people would have their own meaning to. Robin said he formulated songs from that machine. Robin told Howard some of the other things they had at this museum. Robin said he was really a renaissance man.
Howard said this song ''Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)'' by the Eurythmics wasn't going to be released but a DJ kept playing it until they had to release it. Howard said Marilyn Manson covered the song and added some lyrics. He said this was a big break through for him. Howard played some of his version.
Howard said the video for that song was called the scariest video ever made by Billboard magazine. Howard said Marilyn was wearing a wedding gown and riding a pig. He said that was his nightmare.
Howard said he has one more. He played some of the song ''Respect.'' He said most people think Aretha Franklin did the original. He said that wasn't the case though. Robin was trying to figure out who it was. Robin said it was Otis Redding. Howard said that's right. He said good for you. He played some of the original song.
Howard said that he was great. He said he wrote and performed it but he didn't have the spelling out of the word. He said the song was written by a man. Robin said that it came to her that it was Otis. Howard said that she also added in the ''sock it to me'' thing. He said it was number 1 for 12 weeks. He said it won 2 Grammys too.
Howard asked if Robin has heard enough. Robin said she loves this kind of stuff. Howard said that Elton John covered ''Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds'' and John Lennon did the back up vocals on that version. He said John used the name Dr. Winston Oboogie. Howard said the story is that Elton and John got close because Elton sang on ''Whatever Gets You Through the Night.''
Howard said that people forget that this is a cover version. He said the song ''I Will Always Love You'' was written by Dolly Parton. He said that she wrote it and Whitney Houston covered it. Howard said Dolly wrote the song because this guy Porter Wagoner used to work with her and he left so she wrote the song for him. Howard played Dolly's version of the song. He played some of Whitney's version too. He said she went in and made her own though. Howard asked if she knows why she did the song. Robin said she did it for the movie ''The Bodyguard.'' Howard said that Kevin Costner is the one who told her she should do it. Howard and Robin went back and forth with facts about the song.
Howard said Dolly heard the song playing while she was driving her car and she claims she almost crashed her car when she heard how powerful it was. Howard said so many people claim they almost crashed their car while listening to radio.
Robin said that Whitney didn't like performing the song. Howard said Robin sang the song for the radio show. Robin sad that was inspired by the death of Whitney. Howard said the first time he heard this he almost shit his pants. He played Robin's version of the song. Fred played Howard shitting and crashing his car.
Robin said Howard took that after Whitney died and said this was a live track of her singing and took it on the street. Howard said people thought she was really struggling toward the end.
Howard said the song ''All Along the Watchtower'' is kind of ponderous to him. He said Bob Dylan did that one. He played some of the original and said that Hendrix covered that. Robin said he fixed that song. Howard said he changed a lot about it. He said even Dylan changed it after hearing Hendrix's version.
Howard played some of the song ''With a Little Help From My Friends'' that the Beatles did. Howard said Ringo even made them change a line in the song because he was afraid that fans would throw tomatoes at him. Howard said that the song was originally called Bad Finger Boogie because John had injured his finger and had to redo the song with the bad finger. He said the band Badfinger took their name from that story. Howard played Joe Cocker's version of ''With a Little Help From My Friends.'' He said he thinks Jimmy Page played guitar on that version. Fred said he's right. Robin said that this has deep and powerful meaning compared to the Ringo version. Howard said he thinks she's dizzy from the David Bowie museum.
Howard said that song is really powerful. He said Dave Matthews regularly performs ''All Along the Watchtower.'' He said he's going to cover ''A Whiter Shade of Pale'' today. He said he loves that song by Procal Harum. He said Billy Joel covered that for them too. He said he's really excited about Dave doing that today.
Robin said she learned about a man who became a quadriplegic recently and the only thing that makes him happy is Dave Matthews. Howard said he'll bring that young man in. He said that's what he should have done. He said he just learned of that 2 seconds ago though.
Fred had the Billy Joel cover of ''A Whiter Shade of Pale'' playing for Howard. Howard said he has no idea what that song means. Robin said it just sounds like it should have meaning. Howard played the original version of the song too. He said what a great song. He said he thinks Little Steven came out and inducted that song at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. He said it's sort of insulting when they do that for just one song and not the whole band. Robin said that can make people feel real bad. Howard said he doesn't think the Dave Matthews band is in either. He said they're one of the biggest money making bands out there and they're not in. Robin said he has fans that hate that other people discovered him. Robin said when he got big everyone else was a Johnny come lately. Robin said she used to know one of those guys. Howard said they're way behind so he has to take a break. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said JD broke some news to him. He said that he had one of those tubes shoved up his dick. He said he had a catheter put in there. Howard said he's worried about this boy. He said JD went in for a physical recently. JD came in and said he had pain in his back and he had anxiety about it. JD said he went to a doctor and they took some urine and there was blood in it. He said they thought he had a kidney stone. He said they didn't find anything though. He said his urologist said he had to do this thing where they stick a camera on the tube to go in there. He said it really stings. He said they put a numbing gel on his dick. He said that he was sweating bullets doing that.
Robin asked if he was in a gown. JD said yes he was. Howard said no one looks good in that gown. JD said he was walking around with the back open. Howard said they stick you in the same gown that someone else has been in. JD said he wasn't sure if being hard would be good or bad for the whole thing. Howard said maybe it makes the hole bigger.
JD said he was told to turn left and breathe and he shoved the tube in there. He said there's water shooting out of it so you feel like you have to pee. He said after the whole thing is done it's no better. He said he didn't look at the tube to see how big it was. Howard asked how far it goes in. JD said he doesn't know. Robin said they probably had to go to his bladder.
Howard asked if you feel the movement. JD said it just stings. He said the doctor is talking you through the whole thing. Howard said Gary had kidney stones and the doctor was asking why he was squirming. Gary said he had a stent in there and he went to pull it and his whole body moved. He said he did it again and it moved again. He said his doctor yelled that he'd fuck the whole thing up if he moves. Howard said he doesn't blame him for moving.
JD said after he had to pee and it stings coming out. He said it was for about a day. He said the next morning he was better and by Saturday he was fine. He said they found nothing. Robin said it had nothing to do with his urinary tract. JD said they did a CT scan and one with and one without contrast. Howard asked if he has to do anything. JD said the doctor was talking to him about his weight. He said he's been trying to do something about that. JD said they said it could be a hemotura or something where there's blood in the urine. Robin said it's a hematoma. JD said he thought it was hemotura. He said that one is bad and one isn't so bad.
Howard did his JD voice talking about that. He said that's scary shit. He asked if JD is going to change his habits. JD said he has been doing better. He said he's eating better or trying to.
Howard said so far he's made it through his life without a tube up his dick. He asked what the pain was like. JD said on a scale of 10 it was like a 7 or 8. Robin said that's really up there. JD said he doesn't know. He said it stings pretty bad. JD said he had blood stains in his underwear after he walked home.
Howard said JD once got punched in the face on the subway. JD said that was like a 5 in the pain scale. He said he once almost choked on a Gobstopper candy. Howard didn't know what that was. JD explained it to him. Howard played a song parody about JD from Daniel Mendelson.
Robin was arguing about the pain of a catheter and what that could be like for a woman too. They were talking about the names of the genital areas on men and women.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he thinks JD's urologist is a quack. He said that microscopic blood in the urine is normal. He said they did the tests and it was all pointless. Howard said the doctor was being cautious. JD said he's had 3 doctors find blood in his urine. The caller said that he has had it happen to him and they say that you have to worry when you see the blood in your urine. JD said he tried to talk his urologist out of it but he wanted to do it ''Just in case.'' Robin said there is something called ''Hemotoria.'' She said it's bad when you can see the blood. Robin said it can indicate a serious disorder. Howard said JD did say it wrong. Howard went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and talked about a dick tube karaoke game idea. He said he's going to have Dave Matthews in there soon. He said he heard someone warming up when he was in the bathroom. He said it must have been Dave. He said it sounded great.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him what JD was trying to say about what he had. He said he thinks the doctor jumped the gun with that procedure. He said that he should have waited on it. He said do the urine test in a few weeks. Howard asked if he's a doctor. The caller said he is. He said he's an advocate of not doing excessive testing on people. He said you find things that you don't need to find and put people through misery. He said that the doctor jumped the gun on this. Robin said JD isn't so young anymore. The caller said he's in Washington Township in New Jersey. He got in some shout outs to friends that listen to the show as well. Howard thanked Tom for the call and let him go.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a cover song that he might like. He said that Fallout Boy did a cover of ''Beat It'' that he might like. Fred found it and played it for Howard. Howard said he likes bands that cover songs that you think are uncoverable. Howard listened to the song and said it's pretty good. He said he does like it. He said he's not a big Michael Jackson fan though. He said he did meet him once. He said that was in his second book. He said he thinks that's a cool version but it's a song he doesn't really want to hear. Robin said some other band covered a Michael Jackson song. Howard said Eddie Van Halen did the guitar on the original Michael Jackson ''Beat It.''
Howard said he was watching a show about the break up of Van Halen. He said that Eddie was such a great guitar player. He said that he just called the shots and didn't take any shit in the band. He said at one point he and David Lee Roth weren't seeing eye to eye and they didn't put anything out for 2 years. He said he thinks they'll learn a lot about Dave Matthews when he comes in. He said Eddie had that classical music thing down too. He said Eddie's dad was a fairly famous jazz musician. He said he wanted the boys to be in the business. He said he wishes his dad was in the music business. He said he would have made him do show tunes.
Howard said the Van Halens came to the country and they didn't speak English. He said they had no concept of what it was. He said they spoke Dutch. Howard said they claim in the special that the brothers would speak in Dutch in front of David Lee Roth and he had no idea what they were saying about him. Howard said that things went pretty well for them.
Howard said in the special they said David had alcohol problems. He said he never heard about them before. Howard said maybe they were making shit up. He said he's fascinated with all things Van Halen. He said David Matthews has a good story to tell. He said he should take a break and bring him in. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said he has Dave Matthews there. He said Dave is sitting in the chair over there. He said look at him. Dave said sometimes people just come up to him and say ''Hey Dave.'' He said that's the kind of confidence he exudes.
Howard asked Dave about going into a studio to record an album and if he goes in prepared. Dave said when they were starting out they went in and just did it. He said now it's a money wasting effort. Howard said almost every one of his albums goes to number 1 instantly. He asked if it's scary thinking about making a new one. Dave said that he's had every producer tells him to just have fun. He said that it's hell making an album. He said it's a weird thing in his head too because he thinks he's going to have his fans wake up and say this guy is bullshit. Howard asked if he would like to let someone else write the music and he could write the lyrics. Dave said he's stuck between a turd and a piss with that.
Howard said it has to be tough. He asked if it gets harder to write songs as you get older. Dave said if he let himself go and if he takes the advice of producers and enjoys himself it can be a satisfying feeling. He said it's not easier. He said it's different now.
Howard asked if he ever makes up what a song is about when he's asked. Dave said that the older songs are like that. He said he'll throw some bones out there and let people interpret. He said he does look back and wonder what the hell is happening in a song. Howard asked if it's cool now that people attribute their own shit to those songs. Dave said it's great. He said he has songs he loves that he assumes things about. He said that he'll love a song about it and then he'll look at it and wonder what the hell they're talking about.
Howard said Dave is going to cover ''A Whiter Shade of Pale'' and he has no idea what the song is about. Dave said the song is unbelievable. He said that when he hears it it's kind of a rip off of ''When a Man Loves a Woman'' but he's thinking in his head about what the song is about. He was talking about what he thinks the song is about to him. Howard said in order to perform it he has to have some meaning. Dave said some music there is no words so there is an emotional context. He said when he was younger and he was writing a longing lost song it may not make sense but there might be common feelings or thoughts in it.
Howard said he loves sad music and ''A Whiter Shade of Pale'' makes him almost cry. Howard asked if they should do that song now or later. Dave said he can try to do it now. He said he might screw it up. Dave asked Howard Robin is. Robin said she's good but she's just listening. Dave said it's pretty exciting for him to be there. Howard thanked him for that. Robin said they're excited about Dave too.
Howard said this song has to have some meaning to Dave. He asked if he has performed it before. Dave said he has done the song a few times in concert. He said he did it once when he was performing with the Blue Man Group. He said they were doing something so different that he wasn't sure he was doing something interesting. Howard said he should have painted himself blue early on.
Howard said he does ''All Along the Watchtower'' in concert too. Dave said he learned that song a long time ago. He said he did it when he was living in Amsterdam. He said he could never stop playing it. He said he'd just go around and not stop playing it. Howard asked if he liked it because it was a Bob Dylan song. Dave said yes. He said you can play it like Hendrix or like Dylan and people like it. He said people would throw money at him. Howard said they call that Busking. Dave said he did okay doing that. He said he wasn't buying airline flights anywhere. He said some people can. He said there are professional buskers who kill. Howard asked if people ever stole money out of his guitar case. Dave said the Dutch are very nice people so they never did.
Howard asked if there were songs that would bring in a lot of money. Dave said ''All Along the Watchtower'' was one of those songs. He said one guy once put his hand on his guitar strings and said ''Shhh'' and told him to be quiet. He said that hurt. He said he tried to start again after the guy had walked away. He said that really hurt. Howard said what a fucking asshole he was. He said it's great he didn't quit and give up.
Dave said you have to know you're good to perform in the subway. Howard said a song has to move you to do a cover of it. Dave said he hopes this is a good one. He said he always screws it up though. He said that he thinks he knows how to do it but then he'll screw it up as soon as he's in front of a mic. He said the way he plays it isn't that hard. He said he constantly screws it up.
Howard said he heard Dave warming up earlier and he sounded great. He said that Dave has probably performed live more than anyone. He said you'd think he could walk in there and just do it. He said he had to warm up though. Dave said he can hear his voice going into the crapper as he's talking. He said he has to do some warm up stuff. He said he's got a voice coach that doesn't make him take steroids for his voice. He said this guy Rob is beyond a talent. He said he was there with Brandi Carlile. He said that he wasn't with him that day because he was there with Brandi.
Howard asked about what's up with Brandi and how they all live near each other. Dave said she has a compound. He said they're all like a cult and they all live together and have friends who come and stay in their compound. Dave said they run into each other here and there. He said he loves her dearly. He said she told him to come over any time. Howard asked why he has property up there. Dave said his wife went to medical school up there. Howard asked if he goes riding ATVs and stuff up there. Dave said no. He said once he's off the road he goes home and relaxes. He said that they all split up and they get away from one another. He said then they go on tour and get back together. Howard said Brandi is doing that thing where they stay together and do everything together.
Howard asked if Dave if his wife is a doctor. He said she is but she doesn't practice because they move around so much. Howard said he also owns property in Charlottesville. Howard said he seems to go wherever racial problems are. Dave said he never thought of it like that. He said South Africa was like that too. He said Seattle says they don't have racial problems but not everyone would agree with that. Howard said when all of the Charlottesville stuff was going down did he have to say something. Dave said that 2000 people showed up to be hateful idiots and they were just there about legitimizing hatred. He said he was in South Africa when he heard about it. He said his friend was right there when the car blasted into a crowd of people. He said the town is still reeling from that. He said the town hasn't dealt with all of its racial history and issues. He said it's a pretty thoughtful town and a great place to live. He said there are a lot of great people in the town.
Dave said they put a concert together and had a 40,000 stadium full. He said they had a lot of people come down to do the show and they all said yes. He said they were unbelievable. He said the list was unbelievable. He said Chris Stapleton was there. Howard said he likes that guy.
Howard said that Dave is going to do ''A Whiter Shade of Pale'' for them. Howard asked what kind of money is good for a busker. Dave said that a 5 is a good amount. He said that's what he'd give.
Howard had Dave do his cover of ''A Whiter Shade of Pale'' and after the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard asked if he was happy with that. He said he'd give him a 10. He said he got him with that. He said what he likes about his style of playing is picking out the notes on his guitar. He asked if he would prefer to do that than play with a band. Dave said right now he feels lucky as hell. He said the band is so good now and he's not sure how he even got there. He said it's crazy up there. He said half the time he's up there enjoying himself. He said that he wonders how he ended up in this machine.
Howard said he's always been lucky that way. He said he's had a good band all along. Dave said that they found something that they didn't guide. He said when he put the band together it was Leroy the sax player who died. He said he had an ATV accident. He said he had survived it but had complications from that. He said he was his most difficult friend but also his most beloved friend. He said he was completely sober when he was on the ATV. He said he hit a ditch in a field doing like 70. Howard said he wouldn't even go on one of those things. Dave said he has been on one a couple of times but he has no need for speed. He said his mom tells him that they were on a beach and they saw a boat flying across the water. She said that she wanted to take a gun and shoot it like they're in a carnival game. He said that's a good reason not to ride those things. He said that they could switch to electric power and you'd never hear it. He said Harley guys would hate that though.
Howard said his song Satellite opening is based on an exercise that a guitar teacher had him do. Dave said he was ripping off a friend of his who had a more alternative guitar move. He said he blames his guitar style on his mom playing all kinds of music. He said his favorite musicians were piano players too. He said that he wants to make those sounds with a guitar. He said he looks at his guitar player and he wonders what's happening over there. Howard said the opening of that song is him doing that finger exercise. Dave said he played that lick for hours in the basement. He said he had to learn to separate that between his fingers and mouth. Howard said if you can play that and talk at the same time that's hard to do. He said he would play that over and over again. Dave said he drove his mother and sister mad. Howard asked if it also builds up the calluses in his fingers. Dave said it does but it doesn't let you shred. He said he can't shred.
Howard asked how he brings that to the band and how that works out. Dave said it's almost like a blues thing. He said it's cool how they flipped that whole thing around. Howard asked if he was shocked when it became a hit. Dave said of course. He said the song was almost a waltz so it was a big shock.
Howard said when they were doing concerts they told everyone to just record the concerts at colleges and stuff. He said the record companies had to listen up to that. Dave said the record companies did get samples from those recordings. Howard said they must have played to some small clubs starting out. Dave said they would play in clubs where they had more staff than customers.
Howard asked when he writes a song like Crash and it's about women did he write that about his girlfriend who had left the studio and he missed her. Dave said he was like 25 or 26 when he wrote that and that's a tough one to play now. He said he's different now. He said he couldn't write that song now unless he was a creep. Howard said when he writes that song and he's thinking about the girlfriend did he write it in the studio. Dave said he wrote it in his house. Howard said there must have been pressure when he did that one because he had a hit album right before. Dave said he was very lucky. He said every time he goes in to make an album he craps his pants.
Howard asked if the songs come fast to him. Dave said some of them do. He said he was on a movie set and Mack Davis was on the set. He said the movie never did get finished. He said Mack was there and he played a song for him. He said he was really proud of it and felt good about it. He said Mack said he was looking forward to hearing it when it was finished. He said that hurt. He said he was right though. He said it did get better.
Howard asked if he knew when ''Crash'' was done. Dave said he thinks he did. Howard asked if he can do that one. Dave said his voice isn't ready for that. He said maybe later in the interview.
Howard said Dave grew up in South Africa and he must have seen a lot of shit. He said he's an immigrant and he must be freaking out about what's going on now. Dave said that people go out of their way putting their lives on the line to get here and then people here say they're coming here to just take things away from us. He said this country was made by immigrants. He said he finds it heart breaking and offensive that there's this entitlement to being born in a place. He said that he isn't worth more just because he was welped out of someone born in Idaho instead of Mexico City.
Howard asked about his dad dying when he was 10 years old. Dave said he's not 100 percent sure but he thinks he is so good at making poor decisions because he didn't have a dad telling him not to be an idiot. Howard asked if he can remember his dad at all. Dave said he remembers moments of him really clearly. He said he was a brilliant physicist. He said he may never understand his contribution. He said that they came to America because they had wealth there. He said he grew up outside a city and many of their friends were from other countries. He said they were all coming and the kids would be there trowing mud at each other. Howard said his dad must have been well off. Dave said they did okay. He said that it was a job of passion so they didn't have to pay them that well. He said they were comfortably middle class. He said his dad had cancer. He said his mom is still alive. Howard said she was a painter. Dave said she was an architect too. Howard said after his dad died they moved back to South Africa. Dave said they did. He said it was a profoundly shocking. He said that it was this twisted thing where they had this birthright bullshit thing going on there. He said when he came back to the states it was even more eye opening. He said when he was a kid he didn't see how much race problems there were there. He said that they came back and realized how bad it was.
Howard asked if he was in South Africa when he and his friends went to a soda shop and told a black kid to get out of the shop. Dave said they were at a Quaker retreat and they went into this store and they went in and ordered ice cream. He said they'd let black people come in and order but then kick the out to eat it. Dave said that they had the kids sit on their laps because they could say they weren't sitting in their chairs. He said he was maybe 14 at the time. Howard said that's crazy. He said racism is usually more masked.
Dave said he went to a school that was open to all races. He said it was only like 3 percent black though. He said that it was sort of mixed but not really. He said 80 percent of the population was black. Howard said most of his band was black too. Dave said that everyone in the band had native American blood in them. He said he was the only one who had African blood in him. Howard said that's right, he's an African American.
Dave said when he moved to Charlottesville he wondered how they had so many incredible musicians. He said he met all of these guys and they were amazing.
Howard asked if he's a painter. Dave said he can draw pretty good and he hasn't done anything in a long time. He said mainly now he just scribbles. He said he was self taught. He said he was an intern at a computer sore when he came back to the states. He said that he did that for a few months. He said one of guys who would come there told him not to go to art school because it would ruin him.
Howard went through some of the hits songs that Dave has had. Then he asked him to do ''Crash Into Me'' for him. Dave said he wanted to wait a bit but he'll do it for him. He said he may not sound all that great. He was hoping to warm up his voice more.
Howard asked who his influences were. Dave said he was a Beatles fan. Howard asked if he was a prodigy. Dave said he was a lazy kid and he eventually got obsessed. Howard asked who the greatest guitar player in the world is. Dave said Tim Reynolds who plays for him is the best. He said there are so many great ones out there. He said that Joan Armatrading is an amazing guitar player. Howard said he never hears about her anymore. Dave said she's still out there doing her thing. He said that people probably wonder about what he's doing too. Howard said he's not doing as much live touring now but he's made a lot of money doing that. Dave said that this year they're just doing summer in North America. He said they don't tour like The Roots from Fallon do. He said they might be one of the hardest working bands in the business.
Howard said the summer tour is 46 states in North America. He said Dave and SiriusXM are launching a Dave Matthews Band listening party. He said that must be weird to do. Dave said that he's really excited about this new album ''Come Tomorrow'' so he's looking forward to it.
Howard asked if he's going to do a little of this song ''Crash Into Me.'' Dave said he'll do it for him. He said he'll do a little bit of it. Dave said it's just a little early in the morning for him. Howard told him to do as much as he wants to do. Dave did the whole song for him.
After the song Howard asked what the hell was wrong with that. Dave said he got through it. He said once he gets into it he has to get though it all. Howard said they used that song in the movie ''Lady Bird.'' Dave said that helped him out a lot. He said they made him sound good. He said Greta came to them a long time ago and she had an idea that it was going to be used in it a long time ago. He said it was a nice idea to use it. Howard said they must have explained what the movie was about. Dave said it was very nice to ask to use it in a movie. He said he thought it was a good movie so it made his song seem like it was something special. He said that he read something about how they redeemed the song somehow.
Howard asked if people were critical of the song. Dave said that some people were. He said he needs that though. He said that's helpful.
Howard asked if he's consumed with death because he sings about it a lot. Dave said it's either sex, love or death. He said some people write about money but that seems weird. He said Pink Floyd did good with that.
Howard asked Dave about how he's considered killing himself. Dave said he has but he was lucky that he had people around him that explained things to him in a way that shined a light that helped him in that moment. He said he's still not sure what happened with Chris Cornell. He said it's hard to believe. He said everything seemed so good. He said it's hard to compute. Dave said that someone once said to him at a bar that the only thing in the future that you're already done is die. He said he thought that was a liberating way to say that is already done and behind you in a weird way. He said you don't know how it's going to happen. He said the point of living is a real question. He said if you try and answer it it's something difficult to answer. He said that you might want to live to get a fast car. He said that's not fully satisfying. He said you've already died and it hasn't even happened yet. He said this friend had come to this place wondering about what the point of life is. He said it was so flat and so straightforward and matter of fact that it took the concern away from him.
Howard asked if he's religious. Dave said not really. He said he grew up going to a Methodist church. He said he was raised Quaker by his mom but it wasn't really god Quakers. He said his mom is a self proclaimed atheist. He said he finds it unlikely and hard to believe. He said he uses the idea of god that if someone was watching us what would they think. Howard said it sounds like he's hedging his bet. Dave said not really but maybe that's a good idea.
Howard asked if he feels up for playing Samurai Cop from his new album. Dave said he is. He said that's an easy one. He said he can try it. Howard said this is from his new album. Dave said that the movie Samurai Cop is not about a Samurai. Howard said he may have seen the movie. He can't remember. Dave said he had someone put the movie on and it was the greatest bad not bad movie. He said there was like one boob and one vagina in the movie. He said he wasn't even watching it. He said he just saw it playing with the sound off. He said this one just stuck out when he was writing this song. He said they use movies like that to inspire songs all the time. He said the song has nothing to do with Samurai Cop. He said that's just the name of the song. He said the song is about the thing that connects us all which is our humanity. Dave said the name makes the song sound like it's going to be about something.
Howard said the new album, ''Come Tomorrow,'' is already number 1. He said that's a new Billboard record. Dave said he loves when something like that happens. Howard said the full title of the song is ''Samurai Cop (Oh Joy Begin).'' Howard said he'll sit back and enjoy it now. Dave performed the song for him.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. He said Robin is all turned on. He said it's a turn on when guys do that. Robin said there's nothing better than that. Howard said with the face he has he should have concentrated on guitar. Howard said he can picture a Samurai Cop chopping someone up to that song. He said it's a ridiculous name for a song. Dave said he knows it is. He said the last song on the album has a ridiculous name too. He said he can't even remember the name of it. Dave said the song is about struggling on after getting beat down. He said we somehow overcome. He said the song is about how you inspire him to try. He said he finished recording it and this guy said the song wants to make him kill some mother fuckers. He said he was picturing soldiers cold and weak and barely able to stand and then one of them gets up and says something with strength. Howard said the song is called ''When I'm Weary.''
Howard said the new album is called ''Come Tomorrow'' and it's out tomorrow. Howard said you can get tour dates at DaveMatthewsBand.com
Howard said that Robin hates that he likes Cat Stevens but he knows Dave likes him too. Howard sang one of his songs and Dave sang a little too. Howard said that he's still there in that time. He said he loved Cat Stevens. Dave learned to play guitar to his stuff. Robin said she still laughs.
Howard got in some more plugs for Dave and this new Dave Matthews Radio thing. Dave said he hopes he's involved with that. He said that he heard that Bono had his own channel there so he asked him how to get that. He said that he and Bono go out for drinks once in a while.
Howard asked if he has other musician friends that he hangs out with. Dave said Brandi Carlile. Howard said he means other guys. Dave said he would love to hang out with the Roots. Howard said they can play any genre of music instantly. He said he can't think of anyone else who performs with an afro pick in his hair. Dave said he does hang with them when he can. Howard said his new channel is launching next Tuesday at noon on channel 3.
Robin said he forgot to mention the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Howard said that Dave isn't in the hall of fame. He said he qualifies now. Dave said he thinks he has to make another album or something. Howard asked if it bothers him that he's not in it. Dave said he thinks some day they'll feel obligated to put him in there. He said it did feel good winning a Grammy. Howard said he doesn't sound sincere about that. Dave said he doesn't really care that much. He said one of his Grammys is at his mom's house... He thinks. He said he thinks there is one that he never got. He said they're looking for it from what he's been told. Howard said that the fans are what he needs. He doesn't need a Grammy. Dave said that some of his favorite artists never got a Grammy. Howard said the Beatles never got a Grammy.
Howard asked if he has inducted someone into the hall of fame. Dave said he did with Traffic. He said that was exciting for him. Howard and Dave spent a short time talking about that band. Dave said it might have been Cream. Howard asked which one it was because he'd know. Dave said it wasn't Cream. He said he inducted Traffic. Howard asked if he has ever met Mick Jagger. Dave said they performed with them. Howard remembered seeing him do a song with the stones.
Dave told Howard about doing a song with Mick after he was asked by Mick to go do it. He said he was going out on stage to perform this song and Mick has a teleprompter to remind him of the lyrics. He said they were going to have one for him too. Dave said he went out Mick did his first verse and then he went to do his. He said he could see out the side of his face and the words were going past over to the side. He said his teleprompter had Memory Hotel with nothing else. He said it was like he had never uttered word. He said that he just made up words instead. He said Mick just went along with it. He said Keith would come into it and do his bit too. He said then he'd get to his verse and just make stuff up. He said he was in Holland where they don't speak English. Dave said the next day he went in to say something. He said he just asked Mick if he got nay of the words right. He said Mick said ''No I don't think so.'' He said he played the song in the dressing room and they redid it there. He said that he wanted to make sure he had the words and it was amazing.
Howard asked if it felt weird being up there with him. Dave said it was great. He said before he sat in with them they opened up for them. He said in Holland they didn't know much about them yet. He said someone had rolled up the Rolling Stones flag around their neck and kept pretending to hang themselves while they were playing. Dave said it was such a great thing. He said it was so funny and he liked it. He said the guy was so animated doing it. He said people weren't mad about it. He said the guy was covering his ears too. He said that was the only person he saw out there. Dave said that everyone can be having a fit of joy and if one person is texting or something then he's fucked. Howard said you don't want to see someone hanging himself with a Stones flag. He said he doesn't want to be hassled.
Howard asked if he ever performed with Dylan. Dave said they did. He said they opened up for Blues Traveler like 25 years ago and he and Carter played between their two sets. He said two dudes right in front of him where yelling at them that they fucking suck and the whole time. He said that he and Carter just kept going.
Howard said he's done so well that he went from being a fan of Dylan and the Stones to performing with them. He said he doesn't get to hang with them though. Dave said that would have to be a different situation. Howard asked if he can play with Keith at all. Dave said they're not sitting around jamming or anything. He said he feels like Charlie Watts is the kind of guy who would do that. He said he gets the feeling he'd rather be playing jazz though. Dave said they are all good people though. Howard said he loves that video of him singing with Mick. He said he likes that he just stood there and didn't dance around. Howard said Mick was almost treating him like a hot chick.
Howard asked if he thinks he'll still be performing at Mick's age. Dave said he didn't think he was going to do it past 50. He said he's still doing it though. He said the band he's with now is a beast of a band. Howard gave him some more plugs and wrapped up with Dave. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said guys who play guitar and sing really get Robin. Robin said there's a reason they're so famous and popular. Howard said he can tell Robin was into that. He said she's a tough cookie.
Howard said over the weekend on MSNBC they were talking about this black guy and white guy talking and the white guy said ''You're out of your cotton picking mind.'' He said he never thought of it as a racist term growing up but now he sees how it can be taken that way. Robin said they were talking about if the administration was racist or not at the time. Robin said one of the jokes they used to tell was about picking cotton out of an aspirin bottle. She said it has to do with being black. Howard said his mom used to say that term. He said now that he hears it he's offended as a black man. He said he realizes that he had better not say that to a black man. Robin was going to bring it up during the news. Fred played Robin into the news with a song parody to a Dave Matthews song. Howard didn't know it was a parody. He thought he was playing a Dave Matthews song.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she has seen Dave Matthews 44 times. Howard said she might be his biggest fan. She said she even sees the band members perform. Howard said that Dave has that thing locked up. He said he has fans who go to every single show. Robin said he has fans who are also upset with the newcomers. The caller, Patty, was talking about how into the band she is and Howard asked if she would blow Dave if he asked her to. Patty said if she wasn't married she would. Howard said he's never seen that look that Robin gave Dave today. Patty said she wanted to tell all of this to Dave. Howard said she should have called in earlier. She said she's been on hold a very long time. Howard said she would just go blow Dave if she wasn't married. He said she doesn't know what demons are in his head. Robin said she didn't do anything wrong while he was there. Howard said Robin would have knocked the caller down to get to Dave. Howard said he could have had her in there if she had contacted them earlier.
Howard said Dave was a nice guy. Robin said that what she liked was that he didn't notice they forgot to give him his second Grammy. Howard said his career has been so wild and he doesn't need anyone giving him that reinforcement. Robin and Howard spent a short time talking about the interview.
Robin brought up the story about this guy who used the phrase ''are you out of your cotton picking mind.'' Robin had some audio of that argument. Howard said he never associated it with racism. He said that he wonders where that developed. Robin asked why he would use that term around anyone. Howard said maybe he'd use it around white people. He said he may have to drop the whole thing. He said he can't use it with anyone.
Robin had more audio for Howard to play. She had the host apologizing for the guest using the phrase. Howard said this is crazy. He went into his mother's voice talking about being out of his cotton picking mind. Howard said next thing you know Al Sharpton is up your ass. He said he's going to get that phrase out of his vocabulary. Robin said the guy who said it later apologized for using the phrase with a black panelist.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he used to take care of Robin's pool. Robin asked if she's supposed to remember that by his voice. Howard said how about not bringing that up on the air. He said Robin doesn't want that brought up. The caller said when Howard does his parent's voices it makes him laugh so hard he almost crashes his car. Howard said that's more like it.
Howard read a note about a guy who was suspended on NBC for using that ''cotton picking mind'' phrase. Gary said they say that it comes from the job being so hard that it would make slaves crazy. Gary said they say that they used it in a 1953 Bugs Bunny cartoon and that got it going again. Howard did his Bugs Bunny voice making jokes about it. Robin told Howard about how ''Peanut gallery'' is also a racist term. She explained how that was racist according to whatever she was reading. Howard said he'll use every term in one sentence. Robin said ''Sold down the river'' is also racist. She said ''no can do'' is an Asian slur. Robin said getting ''Gypped'' is a slur on Gypsies. Robin said when you say people are ''off the reservation'' that's racist too. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Dave Matthews sounded awesome. He was at work and didn't have anything else to add so Howard let him go.
Robin read a story about Roseanne calling into the Rabbi Shmuley Boteach podcast to talk about what made her crazy when she sent out that tweet that got her fired. Robin had some audio of Roseanne crying over the whole thing. She said she would never think that and she's never do that because she has black people in her family. Howard said he can't believe that she wasted crying on the Shmuley Boteach show. Howard said she also said that George Soros was a Nazi. Robin said that didn't get as much attention. Robin said that she also said that she's made herself a hate magnet. Howard said he thought she was blaming Ambien. Robin said she still does. She had a clip of Roseanne talking about that. Roseanne said she said to God that she's willing to accept any consequences of what she's done. She said no one accepts her apology or explanation. Howard said Twitter is the destroyer of careers. He said people write stuff that can destroy their careers. Robin said they have everyone on these social media outlets and it's all bad. Howard said they don't know what they're saying. He said you have to know what you're doing. He said it's more dangerous than a gun.
Robin had more audio of Roseanne for Howard to play. She was talking about how her kids took Twitter away from her. Howard said he told Memet he has to stop with Instagram. He said that he ended up deleting the app last week so he couldn't get to it. He said he didn't want to get into this so late in the show. He said that he reinstalled the app less than 24 hours later. He said don't use Twitter if you can't control yourself. He said that he was talking to a TV executive and he was talking about how he can't believe how fast people are killing their careers with Twitter. Howard said they used to be the only ones with that power. He said it can lead to a nervous breakdown. He said people are getting into big trouble with their accounts now. He said stop it and get off that service. He said he has to get Roseanne on the show to find out how she got Twitter back after it was taken away from her.
Howard said he got pissed at JD over Twitter. He said that he was posting stuff that he should have been saving for the show. Robin said that Jimmy Fallon has been replying to the President on Twitter even though he has his own show to respond on. Howard said Twitter pays you nothing so he should be doing it on his show. Howard said he has nothing to apologize for. He said he's told Jimmy that. He said Fallon ruffled his hair on his show and he thinks that it humanized him. He said that didn't do jack shit. He said that was a good bit. He said it was interesting to him. He said that's not sucking someone's balls. He said Jimmy shouldn't apologize for that. Robin said he hasn't. He just said that he was getting a lot of heat over it. Howard and Robin spent a little more time on that story.
Howard took a call from a guy who claimed that the word picnic is a racist term. Gary told the guy that he was on Snopes and they say that's not true. Howard said he's not sure about how the Indians are still calling themselves the Indians or the Redskins. Gary said that the rumor that the guy was talking about how the word was short for ''Pick a Nig.''
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he's getting sick of the Trump bashing on the late night shows. He said that he doesn't get the Jimmy Fallon thing because that was just funny. Howard said that's what he just said. He asked why he's calling in and hung right up on him. Howard said he's starting to think that Black Friday is a racist term. He said that he's going to call it African American Friday. Robin said it has nothing to do with race though.
Robin read a story about Melania Trump wearing a jacket that said ''I really don't care, do u?'' when she went to visit the immigrant children being held in camps. Howard asked if Robin thought she was out of her cotton picking mind. Robin said she would have before this weekend. Robin said Tom Arnold is on every show lately. Howard said he loves when Tom is on the show. He said he has time to talk. He said when he only has 5 minutes he starts going berserk. He said all of this thoughts get jumbled. Robin had some clips of Tom commenting on Michael Cohen on some show he was on. Robin was upset that JD didn't get her audio of Tom talking about Melania. JD said he didn't know she wanted that. Howard asked what Robin thought of that jacket. Robin said she thought it was a silly idea to wear it. Howard said she has to know that she's going to get noticed.
Howard said Gary's wife wants to take in one of the immigrant kids that have been taken away from their family. Gary said she did ask and he said he'd have to get back to her. Gary said he actually said he only wants a kid who knows where his parents are so they know they're going back. Robin said she's talking about taking a kid in. Gary said it would be fostering.
Howard took a call from Gary's new immigrant son. One of the guys in the back was doing the voice. The kid said he wants to go back to the cage because he's bored by Gary's stories.
Robin read a story about Sarah Huckabee Sanders being turned away from a restaurant. Robin said they didn't want to serve her so they kicked her out. Robin said she tweeted about it and then the Red Hen Restaurant put out a voicemail message. Robin had some audio of that alleged message. JD said he's seen multiple messages like that out there. Howard asked what they think of that. He asked if Sarah should be kicked out. JD said it's in a weird area. He doesn't know. Robin said this is specific. She said this was specific to what she's doing for a living. Robin said this is not bigotry. She said that's what her father was claiming. Robin said this was a political statement. Robin said now the President has tweeted about it and said they should clean themselves up because they look dirty.
Howard said the country is so polarized now. He said he was asked about Robert De Niro saying ''fuck Trump'' and he thinks that protesting is always drastic. Robin said that Sanders being denied service was like kicking people out of the country according to the owners. Robin said it was sort of symbolic. Howard said this country feels really dangerous right now. Robin said he's taking it all too seriously. Howard asked if she's not. Robin said no. Howard said he loves her.
Robin read a story about how at one of the detention centers they're making these kids pledge allegiance to the United States. Robin said they want to kick them out so why would they do that? She said they don't even speak English so she's not sure what's going on there.
Robin read about how George Takei is speaking out about the detention centers and how this is a low point in the country's history. Robin said this could lead to another play. Robin said that George was held in a detention center as a child. She said that the families weren't separated back then though. They were held during World War II because they were Japanese American. Howard did his George voice for a few minutes. He said he misses that guy.
Robin asked if it's really 11:47. Howard said they've been there all day. He asked why rush out now.
Robin read a story about the gay pride parade that happened this weekend. Robin said that Billy Jean King was on a float.
Robin read about how Heather Locklear was arrested once again for attacking police and EMT workers. Howard said he hates to see this going on. Robin said she was arrested for battery on a police officer. Howard asked if she gets out of jail and then attacks people. Robin said she was booked on 2 counts of battery. Robin said that she was allegedly heavily intoxicated when a family member called. Robin said she allegedly punched at a deputy who was trying to deal with her. Robin said she was taken to jail and booked and is being held on $20,000 bail. Howard said that's terrible. He said he hates that it's happening to her.
Robin read a story about Joe Jackson saying that he's dying of cancer. Howard said maybe William Shatner should go talk to Heather Locklear since they were on TJ Hooker together. Robin read more about what Joe Jackson has been saying about his health.
Robin read a story about the movie ''Jurassic World'' being number 1 at the box office. Robin said it did $150 million in the US and Canada.
Robin read about how Brigitte Nielsen just became a mom at 54 years old. She had some details about that. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:55am.
Howard started the show talking about how many things there are to talk about this morning. He said he's not sure where to begin. He said maybe he should start with Dan Ingram. He said when he was growing up he found disc jockeys annoying. He said he liked Soupy Sales. He wanted to turn radio into TV. He said that he didn't want to go on radio and play records. He said he knew he could get on by doing that though. He said he would try to cut the DJs out of radio that he would record. He said that he didn't like the DJs. He said he didn't know what they were saying either. He said they didn't talk like normal people.
Howard said his mother sounded like a person. He said she'd tell him to clean his room and he understood it. Then a DJ would come on the radio and talk in that voice that you can't understand. He said he didn't get what they were talking about and why they were talking like that. He said they were more worried about the sound of their voice than the words they were saying.
Howard said he wasn't trying to be like Dan Ingram when he got on. He said he wanted to be something different. He said he thought he had to sound like those guys though. He said he wasn't sure how he could do that. He was very confused about radio and the way he felt about it.
Howard said Dan Ingram worked at WABC and it was the biggest station on the planet. He said they had like a 20 share. He said it was nutty going into radio for him. He said it was very strange. He said Dan died at 83 but the guy was no fan of his. He said he could never do what Dan did.
Howard said he used to listen to Dan and those guys on radio and it was completely crazy to him. He said that his kind of radio was dying off. He said Dan didn't like him and he'd say bad things about him. Howard said he was just trying to do something different on radio. He said that was upsetting his way of doing things. He said all Dan had to do was talk up a song and play a bunch of music every hour.
Howard said he has some clips to play. He said that Dan's big thing was calling his listeners Kemosabe. He said that was the name of the Lone Ranger's sidekick. Robin said Tonto called the Lone Ranger that name. Howard said that's right. He said this is what Dan sounded like. He played a clip of him talking about something that he didn't understand. He said that by the 5th second they just start to mumble. Howard said he never thought he could have a career in radio if he had to talk like that.
Howard asked Fred to lower his microphone when he's looking for a clip over there. He heard him typing. He said he was trying to do it quietly but it was coming over the microphone.
Howard said he never knew what he could call his listeners like calling them Kemosabe. He said that some Program Director probably told him to say that. Howard said listen to this rap and you hear that he's like a balloon running out of air. Howard replayed the clip.
Howard said Dan didn't like him when he came to town. He said that he was changing the way radio worked and he didn't like that. Howard said Dan would say things about not liking him. He played another clip of Dan talking up a song. Howard said who could blame him for hating him. He said that he just wanted things to be the way they used to be. All he was doing was talking up a song. He said then you go back to doing whatever he did.
Howard said he got into radio and he knew he couldn't do that. He said he didn't have the voice or delivery. He had to come up with something else to distinguish himself. He said he could have gone with ''Hey Now'' but that wasn't even his own catch phrase.
Howard said they say that Dan was the best top 40 DJ ever. He said he's in the radio hall of fame. He said that he didn't hate the guy. He said he doesn't relate to that kind of radio. He said he respects it though. He said he doesn't know why Dan had to hate him for it.
Howard had a clip of Dan from 1991 talking about how he should be taken off the air. In the clip he said Howard Stern is a disgrace to radio. Howard said whatever. Robin said the sad part is that they were at WNBC and the whole organization thought they were a disgrace. Howard said he took that as a huge compliment. Howard said there was a team called Harden and Weaver who were assholes to him. He said they were all on the radio and he had been fired by WWDC and his union was representing him to get him paid. He said that the Harden and Weaver crew turned against him. He said he was like Wow. He said that it was him and they couldn't stand the fact that he went to number 1 and took that away from them. He said he didn't give a shit though. He said he blew into town and stole the audience away. He said those guys were freaking out.
Howard said he made radio kind of cool and he didn't see those guys doing that. He said they were just playing a bunch of records. He said he respected what Dan Ingram was doing. He said he respects that kind of announcing. He said he just couldn't do it himself. He said he had a dream when he was a little boy where he wished the announcers would just shut up so he could hear the music. He said he'd record music on a tape recorder and cut it off when they'd speak. He said call him nuts but he thinks most boys would record the disc jockeys. Robin said you could never get the whole song because they'd talk over it. Howard played the Dan Ingram clip where he was running out of air like a balloon.
Howard read the NY Times obituary for Dan Ingram and they were talking about how he came before the time of shock jocks but he would make fun of songs, artists and advertisers. Howard said he's not hearing any of that. Howard read a quote where he did talk about a song that was the worst one ever. Howard read some of the quotes they had in the article. He was trying to figure out a joke but it wasn't making sense to him. Robin kind of got it but said it didn't make a lot of sense. Howard asked Fred to give him a song to talk up. Fred gave him one and Howard talked it up with that joke that didn't make sense to him. He thought it would make more sense in that DJ voice.
Howard said he has Dan Ingram on the phone from Heaven. He picked up and had fake Dan on the line talking up songs. Howard said he had respect for Dan. He said he admires his career and his longevity. Dan talked up another song and told him to eat shit. Howard said he's not letting go of this. Howard said he had no idea he talked up everything off the air too. Dan talked up another song and told him not to talk over the post. Howard let Dan go and said that was an exclusive.
Howard read more about Dan Ingram and how there's a web site about the WABC DJs. He said he's one of the original Kemosabes. Howard said he wouldn't want the guy ridiculing him like that. He said he doesn't want to be a Kemosabe.
Gary said the guy who runs that web site is a dentist. Howard said that's good. He said good for him. Robin said she thought dentistry was a demanding profession. Howard said you would think he'd be too busy to run a message board. Howard said yesterday his head was pounding because he was so busy. He said he wouldn't have time to run a web site about WABC. He wondered if he has time to check between patients. Robin said maybe he has plenty of time and just leave it for a while. Howard said if you live that stuff so much maybe he should have gone into radio instead of being a dentist.
Howard read more about Dan Ingram and how he entered a contest to get on radio at 13. Howard said he would never have had the balls to do that at 13. He said that he admires that. He said he had a girlfriend at 13. He said she was so hot and wonderful. He said he did her a favor by breaking it off. He said he was an idiot at 13. He said he was pretending to be on radio instead of actually being on it.
Howard read more about Dan and what he did to get into radio. He said he had a bunch of kids, grandchildren and great grandchildren. He said he had to keep working to afford all of that.
Howard read about some of the people that Dan worked with. He said the only other one who is left is Cousin Brucie. He said that he's 82. Howard said he bets there's a great story about Chuck Leonard who Dan worked with. Howard said the guy must have felt lonely there at the station being the only black guy. Howard said he bets there's a great story there. Robin said she's surrounded by a bunch of white people there. Howard said he didn't know she wasn't white.
Howard said Dan signed off saying that if his listeners hadn't listened he wouldn't have been there. Howard said they didn't have much of a choice. He said there weren't many rock stations to choose from. He said as soon as FM came around then everyone stopped listening to them. Howard said he should have taken that echo off his voice too.
Howard said Dan's first wife died in a car accident. He said that these DJs have interesting lives off the air. He said that Gary read the story about his wife dying. He said she left him with 5 young kids. Gary said they had infant twins. Howard said he would have had a nervous breakdown if that happened to him. He said that you have to be really happy on air when you're doing that voice. He said he must have gotten off the air and cursed like crazy. He said imagine having 5 young kids with 2 of them being infant twins. He said he remarried and then remarried again and one more time after that.
Howard read about how the first wife died in 1962. He said his marriages to two other women ended in divorce.
Howard read more about Dan and said he died. He said Dan didn't like him but he respected what Dan did. He said rest in peace Kemosabe. Fred had a clip of Tonto saying Kemosabe too. Howard said that's not very clear. Fred said he can find a better clip.
Howard said a lot of old time radio guys hated his guts. He said they were doing something different and people are threatened by that. Robin said the problem is that they were so reliant on music that when the music died so did they. Robin said they killed the medium. She said you no longer had to be stuck with a DJ to hear music. Howard said DJs were the kind of people you'd avoid at a party. He said they're yelling at you and calling you Kemosabe. He said don't call him that. He said no one paid attention to them. He said they were there as an after thought. Howard said he didn't want to be an annoying DJ. He said he wanted to be the thing people were listening to.
Howard said Dan Ingram's son wrote a book called ''Hey Kemosabe.'' He said he might have to read that. Howard said he had some real stories and some fiction in the book. Howard said you have to make up shit to make it more interesting. He said it sold 2 copies. Howard said maybe he can use the term Konichiwa on his show.
Howard said he was very limited on the stations he worked at. He said he didn't have the skills that Dan had. He said that might be why the guy looked down on him. He said he respectfully says rest in peace though. Howard said he gets why the guy didn't like him. He said he ruined radio for him. He said these old guys are upset that radio changed but you just have to go with it. Howard said maybe he sounds like an asshole now too.
Howard did his Dan Ingram impression calling people Kemosabe and said it probably became his thing to do that after the show. He said Cousin Brucie calls people ''Cousin.'' Gary said they have a guy who interned for him and he called him Cousin off the air. Howard said that's taking it a little too far.
Howard said he was getting ready for work this morning and saw himself in the mirror. He said he brought in a lighting guy to set up the lighting in his bathroom and he still looks bad. He said the guy looked at him like ''It's not the lighting dude.'' Howard said he saw himself in the mirror and he had to talk himself down. He said he just saw this old guy in the mirror. He said he was looking at his dick and thinking about JD getting that tube shoved up there. He said he was looking at his dick and thought it was no worse than the statue David. Richard said he's probably bigger when he's hard. Howard said he looked at his dick like he was David. He said that back then it was good it was better if you had a dick. He said that was before porn so maybe it was good. Robin said imagine that guy walking around today with people laughing at him. Richard said he'd be in their tiny dick contest.
Howard said he was looking at himself and thinking it wouldn't be so bad. He said that when he goes to the doctor everything shrinks right up. He said the nurse would laugh at him. He said she'd just see his little head. He said then she'd have to rub numbing cream on it. He said he was having this conversation with himself in the bathroom. He said he felt depressed. He said he was out of shape and he can't get back into it because he can't run. He said that he's looking at himself naked thinking about what it would look like if a nurse had to rub cream on his dick. He said there's something wrong with him. He said his shrink has never told him what's wrong with him.
Howard said he wanted to talk to Robin and he's not sure why Richard is in there. Richard said he saw Brucie's penis. He said that he was whipping it like a whip when he was shaking it. Howard said he never runs into him there. Richard said he saw him about a week ago. He said he thinks it was like 3 or 4 when he saw him. He said he's a super nice guy. Howard said he heard he was in the bathroom yelling ''Turd alert!'' when he smelled the bathroom smell. Gary said that was one of the guys on the tape team who saw that. Howard said he might have to come in and talk about that.
Howard asked Richard if it was porn star big. Richard said it was pretty ''ropey.'' Howard said he'd like to have a big cock on him. He said don't use that clip. He said he'd like to have a big cock himself. That's what he meant. Howard said he wants a big cock so bad.
Robin said it's not right to think about his penis like that. She said that he's not going to be pulling his pants down. Howard said he always turns out the lights before he bangs Beth. He said she only gets to feel him when he's erect. He said he just looks at her ass and gets hard and chubs him up.
Gary came in and said there's a picture of Idris Elba that goes around there at Sirius. Howard asked Gary to clear his throat. Gary said he's fine. He didn't have any phlegm there.
Gary said Idris was up there and you could see his dick. He said it's enormous. He said that's why guys want a big dick. Howard said everyone wants a big dick.
Howard said Gary is very phlegmy today. He played a song parody about his phlegm. Howard said he was in the middle of talking about Dan Ingram dying. He said he had suffered from Parkinsons. He said his son said that he choked to death on a piece of steak. Howard said that's how he went out. He said that sucks. Robin asked if he died at a restaurant. Howard said probably. He said that was in Florida. He said that's where all old DJs go to die. He said he already bought a house down there. Howard said he can't believe that he's going to die some day.
Howard said the kids being separated from their parents in this immigration thing are really depressing him. He said it's just not right. He said he knows we have an immigration problem but this isn't right. Robin said George Takei says it's going to be a black eye on our country. Howard said he doesn't know when he became the big expert on all of that.
Howard said they have a big show today. He said they have a tribute to Sour Shoes. He said he has some Jim Bakker stuff to play. He said he's going to be all over the place today.
Howard said he liked Dan Ingram even though Dan didn't like him. Robin said he's the bigger man. Howard said he is and no one has ever said that.
Howard said Bobo is off his rocker. He said that he has some clips of him to play. He said he should take a break before getting to that.
Howard took a call from phony Arnold Schwarzenegger who was talking about the immigration policy stuff. Howard bailed on that a short time later and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said he was going to do the Sour Shoes tribute. He said this is the 15th anniversary of him calling in. He said he's a regular caller and he does some great impressions of the staff and other people. He said he believes he could have been a super successful voice over talent but he has this thing where he lives at home and talks like a baby. He said he's well into his 30s or 40s.
Howard said they first met Sour when he was a street musician. He said he would stand outside their studio. He said he'd show up everywhere he went and he had to have a talk with him telling him to knock it off. He said he actually did. Howard said Sour would fill up Gary's voicemail ever night. He said he has a big talent playing the keyboard. Robin said he remembers old songs and when they hit the charts.
Howard said Sour has been calling in for 15 years. He had a very early call from Sour when he called in asking if they had any requests. Gary had to explain to Howard who the guy was. They made some requests and Sour would play them immediately. Howard said he hung out with him on the street for an hour one time.
Howard said he didn't know just how weird he was back then. He said then he found out that his name came for his shoes smelling bad as a kid because he didn't wear socks. He said just picturing his feet in his smelly shoes. He said he thinks that to most of the audience they think his impressions are pretty great.
Howard said Sour had to work hard at his impressions. He said he was trying to do a Marv Albert impression when he was on in the early days. He said it wasn't that great. Howard played that clip and Sour was telling him some stories and playing songs while he was in the studio.
Robin asked if he really went to college. Howard said he thinks he lasted like a semester. He said they were going to get him on the phone but he'll ruin the tribute. He said they were trying to talk him out of the pool because it's in it all day. He said all he does is call them and go in the pool.
Howard had a clip of Sour doing his Mad Dog Russo impression. He had him doing his Richard Simmons impression too. Howard said he's great with those. He said his George Takei is spot on as well. He played a clip of Sour doing that impression too. Howard said he loves Sour. He said that his George impression is so good that William Shatner hates him as well.
Howard said Sour does a Mariann from Brooklyn impression that's so good that they had both of them on the line and they didn't know who was talking. Howard played a clip of the two of them on the show and they were indistinguishable from one another.
Howard said that Sour's Gary impression is the best. He said even Gary was impressed the first time he heard it. Howard played a clip of Sour doing his Gary impression and cracking Robin up. Howard said he had to give him a standing ovation for him.
Howard said he has Gary down. Gary said the scariest part is that he did almost the entire Wrap Up Show from the day before. Howard said the production assistants who work on the show can't tell the difference. He said they think they're talking to Gary. Gary said he had to call Ross' assistant yesterday and he had to go through questions to prove it's him because Sour calls so much.
Howard said they wanted to see if they could fool people in Gary's life. He said they had him call a bunch of people and they're going to play a game. Howard said they had him call Ross. Robin said he fell for it. Howard said Ross works there and he's the guy who goes to Springsteen concerts with Gary. He said they're pretty close. Howard played a clip of Sour calling Ross and telling him that Bruce is going to be in town next week and he'd like to have lunch with them. Ross knew it was Sour. Howard said it only took 25 seconds.
Howard said they called Gary's wife Mary next. He said Sour was even coached by Gary during the call. He played the clip and Sour didn't fool her. Mary knew it was Sour. Howard said she got it at the noine second mark.
Howard said the next one was Gary's buddy Steve who has known him for over 20 years. Robin said he has got to know. Howard said the call went on for 30 minutes. Gary said he spent a weekend with him in April and just went to a show with him 3 weeks ago. He said Steve knows him. Howard said this is some of Sour talking to Steve for 30 minutes. Howard said he can't play the whole thing but it is fascinating. In the clip Sour was catching up with Steve and Steve asked some questions and Sour was doing his ''noine'' thing and Steve didn't catch on. Howard said Steve never did catch on. Gary said he's such a nice guy he didn't care. He said Steve doesn't listen to the show so the ''noine'' things don't even get to him.
Howard said Bobo is up next and you know he has to bust Sour right away. He said you'd think he'd catch right on. Howard said an hour and 10 minutes in and he didn't catch on that he wasn't Gary. Howard said Bobo has nothing to do all day. Howard played some of the audio of Sour fooling Bobo. Sour Gary asked Bobo if he had anything for the show that can make him interesting on the show. Bobo had some notes for things that he could talk about.
Howard said that's so good. He said that went on for so long that Bobo had to hang up on Sour Gary. He said Bobo was desperately trying to get off the phone with him. He said this was an hour and 9 minutes in. Bobo said he had to run. Sour kept talking. Bobo said he couldn't be late to pick up his son. Bobo kept saying goodbye but Sour kept talking. Howard said Bobo couldn't take it. He said that's fucking great.
Howard said Sour Gary called Medicated Pete. He said they thought he might bust him pretty quickly. He said Sour told Pete that his marriage was on the rocks with Mary and he wanted some advice from Pete. Howard said that's ridiculous because why would Gary talk to Pete about that. He said the call went on for 2 hours and 10 minutes. He said he may have to play the entire 2 hours and 10 minutes.
Howard played some of the call that Sour Gary made to Pete. Sour was telling Pete he can give him some advice. Pete was just repeating what Gary would say to him. He'd repeat ''right'' and things like that. Howard said that was two maniacs on the phone. He said Pete would just agree with anything Sour told him. He said Pete added nothing to the conversation.
Howard said this is 20 minutes in and Pete is just agreeing with everything. He played another clip of the two talking and Pete adding nothing to the conversation. Howard said those two should be roommates. He said you know how Gary loves to talk.
Howard said they were convinced that Pete had hung up but after 40 seconds of dead air he popped back on. Howard played the clip and Sour Gary said goodbye but Pete didn't hang up. Sour was pretending to eat something and clearing his throat. Then Pete got back on. Howard said that's two guys with nothing to do. He said the whole thing is weird. He said it was going on for hours. He said Pete eventually hung up. He said that his OCD was no match for Gary's long, boring stories. Howard said Sour stayed on for another 45 minutes after Pete had hung up. He said he's not sure what was going on there. He played another clip where Pete hung up and Sour just kept going saying ''right, right... Right.'' Howard said that went on for another 45 minutes.
Robin asked if Sour calls other Wack Packers. Howard said Ralph used to get calls from him. He said he finds out everything about their personal lives and calls. He said happy 15th anniversary to Sour Shoes.
Howard asked Robin what she thinks about taking that 2 hours and 20 minutes and putting it on as a special. Robin said that it might work. Howard said he might put it on as a special on a Friday night or something. He said he'd listen to the whole hour of Bobo talking to Sour Gary. He said it's such a good impression. Robin said that you wonder when he's going to figure it out.
Howard said Sour has called all of the executives there and fooled them. He called the Clintons and fooled them. Howard said that's when they lost him for a while. Gary said this was very intricate. He said that he had the area code and tried every combination of the last 4 numbers and the Secret Service came to his house. Gary said you never want that to happen. He said he thinks he called as Chuck Schumer. Gary said he called an executive there and fooled the guy and he upset him very much. He said he had the guy thinking he was talking to a senator.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he would listen to that 2 hours of Sour and Pete. Howard said he's going to do it. He said he'll make a programming announcement about that very soon. He said what he'll do is just put it on and let it run. He said he has a feeling he'd be glued to the radio.
Howard asked what the Secret Service said to Sour. Gary said it's tough to say because Sour won't give the whole story. He said he just knows he called Hillary and the Secret Service showed up at his house. He said he's very hard to control. Howard said he's tried to pay him but it's so hard to control him.
Gary said he was calling Mark Wahlberg and at one point Mark threatened to kill him. Howard said people will come on the show and they have a bad experience with Sour and then they never come back. Gary said that he doesn't think he ever even identified himself as Sour Gary. Howard said that they don't want to come on the show because it opens a Pandora's box. Gary said that Adam Sandler met him and he loved Sour. Howard said Adam has a sense of humor. He said Mark may not.
Howard said that Sour was calling a member of the band Chicago for a while. Gary said he thinks he was being him trying to get them on the show. He said he's not sure they even want that. Howard said when he does that then they're in a weird position. Gary said he kind of scalded him over that and he did it again. He said that he stopped doing that after that.
Gary said they finally got Sour out of the pool. He said they had to use his real name though. Howard said Ralph has more information on the Secret Service thing. Ralph said he has the story because Sour told him. He said he got a call from the Attorney General. He said that he called Sour and told him that he loves the show and loves his stuff but don't do anything with those recordings. He said he scared the shit out of Sour. He said that's why he disappeared for so long. He said that it wasn't the Secret Service that came to his house. He said it was the Attorney General calling him.
Howard said he had to yell at Sour for showing up at places he went that were secret. He said he had to tell him to stop or he'd never let him on the air again. He said Sour showed up with his keyboard and all of that stuff. He said it was in front of his friend's place. He said Sour even showed up to Gary's father's funeral. Gary said he was one of the pall bearers and Sour was in the place and put his hand on his shoulder and said ''I'm very sorry.'' He said later out in the parking lot he was playing with a football. He said he had to pretend he didn't know who he was when people asked.
Howard said imagine he was out in the parking lot playing a funeral dirge. Howard said he thinks that he called Ralph's mother to wish her a happy mother's day. Ralph said he once called Sour and talked to his mom. He said they talk about stuff. He said Sour is a good guy. He said it's two losers.
Ralph said if they play the calls long form he'd like them to put in the Wendy and Medicated Pete call where they never hang up. Howard said he thought they were going to play the whole thing. Ralph said it didn't happen that day. Howard said they should have a special. He said Pete can't hang up because he has OCD. He said that Wendy is retarded so she has nothing to do.
Howard asked to hear some of the Wendy and Pete stuff. They played some of the audio where they had clips of Wendy saying goodbye and Pete just repeating after her and never hanging up. Howard said they could play this on a Friday night or something. Howard said if you don't like it you can just change the channel. Howard said you'd think they manufactured this but they didn't. He asked how they have time for this.
Howard said he had to make 50 phone calls yesterday and he was miserable. He said they could play this on a Friday night. He said he'd listen to this. Robin said it's like a tennis match. Howard said they can listen to it now. He said he has nothing else to do. He said no one will hang up. He said he's not sure why Wendy won't hang up. Howard said that it wasn't actually Wendy, was it? Gary said it was Wendy drops but Pete was really on the phone. Howard said they did this just to bust balls. Gary said they were trying to see if other Wack Packers would take Wendy in.
Howard let the clip play while he was talking. Howard said some band jams go on like this. He said it can be maddening. He said they're only 5 minutes into this. He said there's another 20. He said he should knock out a few commercials while they're listening to this. He said there's a lot in this to hear. Fred played a ping pong drop while they were going back and forth.
Howard said this is why Dan Ingram hated him. He said he could just leave and run this until 11. He said he'll run this during a special. He let the clip play while he did a live commercial read. He was even getting into saying goodbye to Pete and Wendy. He let the clip play the whole time and it continued through the commercial break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard finally ended the clip but then played a song parody with Pete and Wendy saying goodbye to each other.
Howard said that's enough. He said Pete slept for like 15 hours after that. He said that he must not be used to talking to anyone that long.
Howard said by the third hour of the show he's sick of everything. (He had taken a call from caller I no longer write up here.) Howard was upset by the awful caller.
Howard said he wants to be on Lexapro like Jason is. Jason said that stuff saved his life. Howard said he's afraid that it'll take away his mojo. He said he might get into feeling good and he'll fuck the whole show up. Jason said he tried to quit the stuff cold turkey and it was horrible. He said that he thanks his bottle every night when he takes it.
Howard said Brent thinks that he should take magic mushrooms. He asked if Brent and Bubba ever talked. He said he wants to share some other stuff after that. He said that Brent and Bubba talked last week and Bubba was upset with him for going all New York City on him. Brent said that's the worst thing you can call someone down there. Howard said they don't know anything about what's going on down there.
Howard said he's listening to this preacher talking about how the Jews are the devil and how they get all of these advantages. He said he's just thinking that he never had any advantages. Howard said this asshole can't get anything going in his life so he's playing the Hitler card. He wasn't going to play this but he did bring it up. Howard said this Baptist Preacher Adam Fannin was going off on the Jews and Sarah Silverman. He played some of the audio of that guy going off on the Jews and talking about the advantages they've been given. Howard said they think they run the world and it's kind of unoriginal to come up with this shit.
Howard played more of the clip and Fannin was blaming the Jews for the Baptists going down in flames. He brought up Sarah Silverman and said she's a witch. Howard said this guy is a low life, scumbag, piece of shit.
Howard said Jim Bakker was back talking about how silver can cure STDs. He said he has a product to cure STDs. Brent asked why this isn't fraud. Howard said he's not sure. He had some audio to play. Howard said they were on his web site and he has like 10 million products. He said they have one for 10 grand that gets you through the apocalypse.
Howard played a clip of Jim Baker talking about how this product gets rid of all venereal diseases. His co-host was making claims about it getting rid of HPV too. She said it's a fantastic hand sanitizer too. Howard said how about using a rubber. Howard said they don't talk about that. He asked how this goes on TV making claims like that. Robin said he must make some kind of disclaimer.
Howard said that he did correct himself instead of saying ''cures'' he said ''heals.'' Howard played more of the clip of Bakker talking about this silver stuff and the magical powers it has.
Howard said he's not sure who they are but the last place he'd go for medical advice is Jim Bakker. He said at least he's not preaching against the Jews like that other guy.
Howard played a clip of a preacher talking about how the Jews and other religions don't have the right to free speech. The guy said they were only dealing with Christianity and those rights were just for Christianity. Jason said that is just not accurate. He said they went out of their way to make rights for everyone.
Howard asked Brent what went on with Bubba. Brent said everything is fine between them. Howard said he got a lot of email about that so that's why he brought that up. Howard read some of the mail that he got about the Bubba call last week.
Howard said that someone said that Ronnie was more loyal to Bubba than he is to him. He read that email and the guy pointed out how Ronnie was more protective of Bubba than Howard. Howard said he doesn't think that Ronnie likes Brent. Brent agreed. Howard said he's not sure what's going on with Ronnie. He said that he's more loyal to Bubba than him. He said he never hears that he's his friend.
Ronnie came in and said that he doesn't know what he's talking about. Howard said he feels like Bubba has something on him or something. Ronnie said he feels bad or Bubba. He said Howard doesn't get a raw deal like Bubba did. Ronnie said he's just friends with Bubba. Howard said he seems to jump all over him. Ronnie said he jumped all over Brent. He said that Brent thinks he hates him. He said he doesn't hate anyone. Howard said he does hate a lot of people. Ronnie said he might dislike people but not Brent.
Howard asked if Ronnie thinks he's standing in his way of becoming a big star. Ronnie said no. He said he doesn't even talk to Bubba that much. Robin said he did seem to support that ''A Little More Ronnie And Less Hatley.'' Ronnie said that was funny.
Howard said Ronnie is on the same team as Brent. Ronnie said he takes notes on him all the time. He said he never looks at him in the face either. He said he's constantly looking at the floor. He said he doesn't look anyone in the face. Brent said he might have to talk to someone. He said he does that to avoid conversations. He said he's on his way to do something. He said he has limited time to do things. Ronnie said he could put his head up. Howard said Ronnie thinks it's a personality disorder.
Howard said that he walks around with his head down when he's leaving there. He wants to avoid seeing people too. Ronnie said Howard is famous though. He said Brent isn't.
Gary said that someone was floating the idea that Ronnie likes Bubba because he likes wild Ronnie and Howard doesn't like wild Ronnie. Ronnie said he's just Bubba's friend. Howard said he was selling ''Lets fuck some whores'' t-shirts for him. Ronnie said he was selling them and he got a cut. He said it wasn't his idea. He said it was Bubba's idea. Brent said he came up with the phrase. Fred played the clip of Ronnie saying that. Howard said he had that clip on his show though. He said he's not sure why it was on Bubba's show.
Howard said Ronnie thinks that Brent has a personality disorder. Ronnie said he's not allowed to say anything.
Howard read more email about Ronnie defending Bubba and not standing up for the Stern Show guys. Ronnie said he's not allowed to do anything there. Ronnie said he heard Brent's side of the story from someone else. They all knew it was Bubba. Ronnie said he can state his opinion there. Brent said it would be nice if he had the facts. Ronnie said he came in and said one thing. Brent said that Bubba is Ronnie's buddy and he'll never say anything bad about him. He said that he's the best to Bubba. He said he doesn't treat Ronnie like that. He said sometimes he loves him and sometimes they have disagreement. Ronnie said he's fine with that.
Howard saw Ronnie in the race car driver outfit. It was a Monster Energy outfit. Howard said that's a promotion. Ronnie said that it's a charity event. He said that's his sponsor.
Shuli came in and said that he has some information. He said on the fin of the car it says ''Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the clock.'' He said that's his catch phrase. Ronnie said he had nothing to do with that. He said that the guy who wrapped the car did that. Shuli said he also spoke to Bill Goldberg about this. He said he's a big fan of the show and he was honored to be driving with Ronnie. He said one of the guys saw them there and it looked like a guy taking his dad out for one last drive. Ronnie said Goldberg wasn't wearing the suit. He said they couldn't find one that fits him.
Howard said he'd just like to get Ronnie to stop arguing with people out in the hall. Howard said he's always in conflict with someone. Shuli said you just say good morning to him and you have a problem. He said after this he's going to be Ronald and not interacting with anyone out there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Ronnie is a complete fool. He said they're a team and he has to carry Brent to the finish line if he falls. Brent said he would do that for Ronnie because he's a team player. Ronnie said he is a team player but he's not on Brent's team. Howard said Brent is on the team so he is on his team. The caller said Ronnie doesn't understand common sense.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Ronnie doesn't understand nuance when they talk to him. Ronnie said he doesn't. Howard asked if he knows what it means. Ronnie said he has no idea and he isn't going to answer.
Howard said Brent and Bubba are in a good space. Brent said they are. Howard said he and Bubba worked it out on the phone. Brent said that they're fine. He said he gets that Bubba is super stressed right now. Shuli said that Ronnie is starting to shut down now. Ronnie said he's not. Howard played a song parody about Ronnie.
Howard said as long as he's going through the email everyone seems to think that Bobo is lying about the vacuum cleaner thing. Brent said that everyone on the Wrap Up Show was saying that too. He said he's never seen a central vacuum before. He said down in the south they didn't have that. Ronnie explained it to him. He said there's one central unit in the house and there are outlets in each room. He said that one of the smaller attachments might fit in there. He said that the whole tube might fit if he lubed it up. Robin said that she's glad they found out about the Brent and Bubba thing.
Brent said that Ronnie listened to Bubba raking him over the coals. He said that's what upset him. Ronnie said that's what Bubba sent to him. Brent said that maybe after 5 minutes he would have turned it off. Shuli said that Brent is very sensitive about stuff. He said that he's seen him drop friends after years. Brent said that he shook hands with that guy over the weekend. He said it was Jon Leiberman. Shuli said that Brent said that Jon was dead to him after he agreed with Ronnie on something once. Shuli sad that Brent moans at his desk. Brent said he'll talk to himself and not say them out loud. Howard said he has tape of that. He played a clip of Brent moaning at his desk.
Howard said he was going to hang with Brent but not after that. He said that sounds like a good conversation.
Howard thanked Ronnie for coming in too. He wished him luck with his race car. Brent asked if the sponsor paid Ronnie for wearing that outfit. Ronnie said no. He said he did it for a friend. They asked if he would have done the whole rally. Ronnie said he would have. He said he did the rally from Boston. He said he started out there and went to Connecticut to New York City. Howard asked if he doesn't drive enough. Ronnie said it was so much fun. He said he doesn't want to say how fast he went. He said he may have broken the law. Howard asked what happens if he gets into an accident. Ronnie said you can do that driving on the street there. Howard said imagine how stupid you'd sound if you got into an accident and had to explain it.
Brent asked if he was in the race suit driving down the road. Ronnie said he was. He said they weren't doing anything dangerous. He said they're racing 40 other cars. Brent asked if he got over 100 on the highway. Ronnie said he's not going to say. He said they weren't racing. He said it's a rally. He said it's who can get from place to place first. Howard said this should be against the law. Howard said he doesn't want to be on the road with these assholes.
Howard asked if they talk to each other. Ronnie said they do. He said they drove for like 2 and a half hours and then stopped at the Barrett Jackson auction for a few hours. Howard asked why he would do that. He asked if Goldberg is the guy with Tourettes. The guys said that's Golddust.
Howard asked Ronnie if he has fun driving him around. Ronnie said he does. Howard said he goes flying when he hits the brake in that car.
Ronnie said they got stopped by the police but not for speeding. He said they drove all the way from Boston to the Whitestone Bridge without getting stopped. He said in Boston they had a license plate on the car and they hid it up there. He said that they covered the plate in Boston and they didn't take the cover off when they left. He said they drove all the way down and got to the bridge and got pulled over. Howard said congratulations to the New York police for doing that.
Gary asked if Ronnie got up to 140 miles per hour during that race. Ronnie said no. Brent said he did that with no license plate. Ronnie said it was on the car. He said it was covered. Ronnie said the cop let them go because he understood a mistake was made. Howard said he bets his name was mentioned. Ronnie said not at all. Ronnie said he walked to the back of the car and pulled the sticker plate off. He said the cop gave him a warning and that was that.
The guys were making fun of Ronnie for wearing the suit when he got out of the car. Howard asked why Shuli didn't cover this. Shuli said he tried but Ronnie told him there was no room in the car. Howard said he could have followed him. Ronnie said he doesn't think so.
Howard asked Ronnie how long it took to get to the auction. Ronnie said it was like 2 hours. He said that Goldberg drove from there to New York. He said he was navigating for him. He said they spent a few hours at the auction. He said there were like 40 cars in the event. He said they were probably 8th or 9th. Ronnie said he kind of fucked up at one point. He said they came to a road where it split and it was hard to tell which was the road and which was the exit. He said he blew it. He said they went the wrong way.
Howard said this is a dangerous kind of event. Ronnie said it's not. He said it's not about killing people. Howard said it's dangerous if you're racing to get somewhere. Ronnie said it's not a race for money. He said that everyone on the road is above the speed limit. Howard said he doesn't like this. Howard asked what if he had lost his license and he couldn't drive.
Shuli asked if they had music in the car at all or was it just talking. Howard said imagine being stuck with Ronnie like that. Shuli said he has done that. Howard asked if Goldberg had a suit on. Ronnie said no because they didn't have one to fit him.
Howard asked if Ronnie wore a helmet. Ronnie said no. He said no helmet. Shuli asked why have all of the other stuff but not a helmet. Ronnie didn't have an answer for that. Ronnie said it was a blast.
Howard said he has to get over to Ronnie's house to see all of this stuff he has. Ronnie said he's going to hang that suit in a big frame. He said he's going to hang his driving shoes on the wall too. Howard said Ronnie drives like a maniac in the limo. He said imagine him in a race. Shuli said every car he drives is like a race car.
Howard said yesterday Ronnie got cut off and he was driving around the car to see the driver. Ronnie said that guy cut them off and he had to speed up to see who he was. Howard said he could have killed him. Howard asked if it was a man or a woman. Ronnie said he saw it was a dude. He said he just kept going. Howard said when he sped up to see the guy he went flying in the car. He said you have to see this guy. Robin said he must have gone above the speed limit to see the guy. Ronnie said Robin drives around like a race car driver too.
Howard said you had to see this yesterday. He said he was flying around the car. He said he felt like Princess Diana. Shuli said he avoided an accident but then sped up to see the guy who cut them off which put him back in danger.
Howard said he doesn't like that these guys are racing on the street. Ronnie said it's a rally, not a race. Howard said it's based on who gets there first. Howard said Ronnie is crazy too. He said he was texting his kids goodbye. Ronnie said bullshit. Shuli said he was in the car with Ronnie down in Florida and he was yelling at this woman out on the street to move.
Shuli asked if Ronnie thinks he's an aggressive driver. Ronnie said you have to be in New York. Howard did his Ronnie impression and goofed on him about being with Goldberg in that car. Howard said Goldberg doesn't even know who he is. Ronnie said he does. Shuli said that guy is a fan of the show.
Howard said this whole thing is a set up for disaster. He said that he's all fired up in that costume. Howard said after he made that wrong turn he must have had to make up some time. Ronnie said he did what he had to do to get on the highway. Howard said he bets he flew. Ronnie said there was traffic. Howard said he bets he was in the left lane the whole time. Ronnie said not the whole time. Howard said imagine you're driving along and you see this guy in a race outfit and it's Ronnie. Howard said what a dumb fucking idea that rally thing is. Ronnie said he thinks Chess is a stupid fucking idea. Howard said that next to locking up children at the border this is the second dumbest idea.
Shuli asked how fast Ronnie has gone on the road in his life. Ronnie said at 3 in the morning in Pennsylvania he went 145-150. He said he was driving to Ohio.
Howard said Ronnie must have loved that costume. Ronnie said it was very hot. He said Stephanie thought it was kind of cool. Howard said he's livid about the whole thing.
Shuli said he has to wear that thing to work tomorrow. Howard said he'd do it for Bubba so do it for him. Ronnie said he wouldn't do that. Shuli asked if it's under his suit now. Ronnie said it's not.
Ralph was on the phone saying that he should wear a limo driver outfit. Howard said he should have him do that.
Howard said he would never wear an outfit like that just because he's a fan of someone. He said that Imus used to dress like a cowboy. Ronnie said everyone driving that car from there to California is wearing that suit.
Howard said he has to wear that outfit to work. Ronnie said he's not going to wear it. He said they're laughing at him now so why would he do that. Howard said it's funny that men are racing from coast to coast and wasting fuel doing it.
Howard asked if Ronnie had a radar detector in the car. Ronnie said no, it's a race car. Howard asked what the cop did when he saw him in that suit. Ronnie didn't answer. Fred played the Superman theme song.
Howard asked Ronnie to please bring in the outfit. Ronnie said he'll bring it in but not wear it. Shuli said he won't wear that suit but he'll put anything they ask him to shove up his ass.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he would do if he lost his license. Howard said if you're caught driving 40 over the limit you can lose your license. Ronnie said that you can't drive over the limit in New York. He said he wasn't speeding anywhere.
Shuli asked what the navigation sounds like in the car. Ronnie said he'll just tell him that the traffic is going to be shit so turn here and things like that.
Howard said he has Goldberg on the phone. He took the call from fake Goldberg who didn't sound anything like him. He said he almost got thrown out of the car with Ronnie driving the way he did. Howard let him go after a short time.
Howard asked if anyone was impressed with Ronnie even though he didn't ask them to be. Ronnie said he wasn't asking anyone to be impressed. Ronnie said he's going out to Vegas on Friday. He said that his friend is flying him out there first class. He said he and Stephanie are going out and staying until after July 4th. He said the race is over on Sunday afternoon. He said that he won't be wearing his suit. He said he won't be driving. He said the guys driving the car will be wearing them.
Howard said he feels impressed by all of this. He said he's impressed like Robin is. Ronnie didn't ask them to be. Howard said Robin was impressed before he was. Fred played the ''Bad Boys'' theme song. Howard asked Fred if he's impressed. Fred was doing his Ronnie impression and talking about Goldberg and stuff like that.
Howard said that poor Goldberg had to sit in a car with Ronnie. Ronnie said things are going great for him. He said he had a show called Bull Run on one of those channels. He said he works for Dodge doing promotion for them. He said he has a big car collection.
Shuli asked who is better looking, Jason Statham or Goldberg. Ronnie said Statham is. Howard asked who he likes better, Bubba, Goldberg or Kurt Busch. Ronnie said he spent more time with Bubba. He said that he knows Bubba better. He said he just met Goldberg this weekend. Howard asked if Kurt is his best friend. Ronnie said he's a good friend.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing Ronnie's number 1 fan. The guy was racing on the streets and crashed. The had sound effects to go along with that.
Howard said if he wanted to be punished for something he'd be stuck in a car with Ronnie from Boston to New York. Ronnie said that car is so cool. He said it's a 2018 Ford GT. He said it's a $600,000 car. He said he had the biggest boner when he got in the car. He said he had never been in a car like that before. He said he drove a NASCAR on the track. He said he went 170 on the track.
Brent asked if they had safety harnesses. Ronnie said it was regular seat belts. Shuli said he doesn't wear them all the time. Ronnie said he does too.
Howard asked if he likes getting pegged or the race car better. Ronnie said the race car. Howard asked if he likes J-Lo or the most expensive race car. Ronnie said he would take the car from Boston to Vegas over getting a BJ from J-Lo.
Ronnie said he has no idea how much of an honor it was that he was asked to do this. He said that it was so much of an honor that he got choked up. Robin said she's impressed by that. Ronnie said he told Stephanie that he couldn't get the words out fast enough. Howard said he could do this all day but he has to get to the news.
Howard said he has a clip of Ronnie getting emotional. He played a song parody and a clip where they asked Ronnie what makes him cry. Ronnie said he gets emotional about stuff watching TV and over his dog dying. He said he may have cried over Grey's Anatomy too.
Shuli said that was a whole other side of him. Howard said congratulations to Ronnie for the rally stuff. He said he wants to see that racing outfit. He said he's miserable and Ronnie is having the time of his life. He said he almost jumped out the window and this guy is driving race cars.
Brent told Howard to try the mushrooms. He said they say that one dose can help for 6 months at a time. Howard asked if Shuli does them. Shuli said they are fantastic. Howard said maybe he should try them. Brent said they are the safest drug you can take.
Howard played a clip of a guy on a mushroom trip. He said that doesn't sound so great. He let the guys go and did a live commercial read. He said he had so many things planned today. He didn't know he was getting into Ronnie's rally thing. He said what a dumb thing that is. He said he's flabbergasted. He said he doesn't even use that word that much. He said for all he knows it's racist.
Howard said he was thinking about that drive with Ronnie yesterday. He said it was the aftermath of the swerving that caused him to be thrown around in the car. He said he understands why he swerved in the lane but not why he went up to give the guy a look. Robin said that's what leads to people getting into fights. Howard said he has no regard for him being in the car. Robin said when you're a professional driver your sensibilities should be out the window. Howard said if he had someone important in the back he wouldn't have done that. He said he gets no respect.
Howard said he thinks they should follow Ronnie around with a camera and do a reality show for the new app. He said that they should be like Netflix and produce their own shows. He said their House Of Cards could be with Ronnie and Stephanie. He said he's going to talk to Sirius about it. He said they'll call it House of Tards. He said he has another idea they could pitch. He said he has an idea for a funny movie. He said he'd like to hire a great director to do it the right way. He said it's a super dumb movie. He said he wants a good director though. Howard said we'll see.
Howard asked Robin if she wants to do news. Robin said she is worn out but they should do it. They played her into it with a fake Bill Cosby song parody. Howard said that's really uncomfortable. He said that guy should do a full confession in his last days. He said it would be so great. He said imagine if he just came clean. He said the book would be so good. He said he'd like to know his side of the story. He said that would be some book.
Robin said yesterday they learned that saying ''Out of your cotton picking mind'' is racist. Robin said she went on a search to find out what else is racist. Robin said she found out that ''No can do'' is racist. Robin said ''Long time no see'' is also. Robin said ''Rule of thumb'' is also racist. Robin said it's the size of a stick you can hit your wife with. Howard said that's not racist. Robin said you could call it sexist.
Howard took a call from a guy claiming to be a cop who has pulled over rally racers before. Howard said he loves that. Howard said it can't be legal to have a rally. The cop said they drive double and triple the speed limit. He said that they'll pass a trooper at 150 and they'll find out and get off the highway. He said they continue to drive at those speeds and they can hit a deer or something. He said if they do they're dead. He said they have radios and they'll get a ticket and just continue driving. He asked Howard how he'd like it if he had guys driving past him like that. Howard said he's with the deputy there. He said that he's not cool. He said Ronnie won't say how fast he went. Robin said you know he's breaking the law. Howard said how about him wearing that racing outfit. He said you should be able to arrest anyone wearing one on the street. Howard let the deputy go a short time later. He did a live commercial read and took a break after that.
After the break Howard came back and did another live commercial read. Robin got back to her news and said that ''Indian giver'' is another racist phrase. Robin said ''uppity'' is another one. She said that ''basket case'' is another one. Robin said that comes from someone who lost all of their limbs during World War I. Robin said they had to be carried around in a basket. Robin said that's horrible.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she asked people not to sit ''Indian style'' in a class she was teaching and she learned that it was the lotus position. She said that the Millenials don't know what it means. Howard said these kids are all upset by things these days. He said that he knows people who are worried that they're appropriating someone's culture at their weddings. Gary said that Millenials are people who were born after 1984.
Gary said that the ''Hip, hip hooray'' is another term they claim is racist. He said it comes from some German term they used when they were pulling Jews out of their homes. They said ''Hep, hep'' though. Robin said that's a bit of a stretch.
Robin asked what you do if you're at a party and you see someone you don't agree with politically. Robin said Seth Rogen refused to take a picture with Paul Ryan but he took one with his kids. Robin said that Seth refused to take the picture. Howard said he admires Seth being honest with him about why he did what he did. Robin said Seth said he doesn't like what he's doing to the country right now and he's counting down the days until he doesn't have any power. Howard said you have to say it. He said that he feels bad it happened in front of his kids but that's the way it goes. He said if you feel passionately about something you have to do stuff like that and what Robert De Niro did. He said that people had to speak out during the Vietnam war.
Howard said he understands what Seth did. He said you don't want to appear to be endorsing certain behaviors. Howard said he's not sure he would do the same thing. He said he admires Seth's convictions. He said he's a pussy himself so he's not sure he could do that. He said Robin knows what he would do. He said she knows he'd just take the picture and hope it doesn't come out anywhere. Howard said he's impressed by people who can respond in the moment like that. Howard said he never wins with his mind. He said it's hard being him sometimes. He said he admires anyone who can stand up for their convictions.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Fallon responding to the President on his show last night. Robin said Jimmy was the subject of a tweet where he told him to stop whimpering and be a man. Robin had some audio of Jimmy responding by saying that he should have more important things to do than tweet about him.
Robin read a story about the immigration problem and an article that was asking why so many people want to come here. Robin said there is violence and poverty in the areas that they live and they are trying to get away from it. Robin said these people want out so they can raise their families in peace so they can have a better life. Robin said that's what is going on at the border now. Howard said maybe they don't know there are dangerous road rallies going on there. Howard said the world is fucked up and we're so lucky we were born here and don't have to get away from something like that. Robin said our relatives were trying to get here. Robin said that she didn't have to do that but her relatives did. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from phony Arnold Schwarzenegger who had an immigration plan. He said put all of the Mexican mommies in his house to be his maids. He said his house would be full but his balls would be empty. Howard spent a couple more minutes with him before letting him go.
Robin read a story about Sarah Sanders being kicked out of a restaurant over the weekend. Robin had some audio of her talking about that. Robin said she has blamed the Democrats for not finding a solution for the immigration problems. Howard said he loves her. He said that her press conference was yesterday and she was like 20 minutes late and he hung in with it just for her. Howard had a bit about Sarah Huckabee Sanders singing Broadway hits. Howard said he would go see that.
Robin read about how Maxine Waters was calling on people to protest Trump supporters. She had audio of Sarah Sanders talking about that and some audio of Maxine Waters explaining what she was talking about.
Robin read a story about Trump talking about his signing of the executive order to keep children together at the border. Robin said that they are going to stop separating the parents at the border. Howard said he was reading about how they don't know how to get the kids back together with the parents because they don't know who they belong to. Robin said Gary is going to have the kids at his house. Howard said Mary did ask him to take in some of the kids. Howard said some of the kids look really young like toddlers. Howard said Gary is at the point where the kids are out of the house and now his wife wants to have the border kids there. Howard asked how the government didn't think about giving the kids back some day. He asked why they didn't track them. Robin said they should know where they belong.
Howard asked if Gary's wife is afraid to be alone in the house with him. Gary said no but his wife is very upset about the kids being separated. Howard said he'll probably get a 16 year old who is in really good shape and she falls in love with the foster child. Gary said don't make a good thing dirty. Howard said Mary is so sweet that she's ready to jump in. He said he has to admit he's selfish. Robin said she's always impressed with people who can do that. Howard said Gary is the selfish one. Robin said he's holding her back. They spent a little more time goofing on Gary about that. Howard had the kid wondering why a guy with such a nice house would be listening to vinyl records. He said he has a juke box too. Gary said every Friday will be Avion and Sonos. Howard had the kid wondering why Gary has toenail fungus because down in his country they don't even have that. The kid was wondering how he could waste his money on cartoon cells.
Howard said Gary's real son thought that Bruce Springsteen was related to them because Gary was going to see him so much. Gary said that's true.
Robin read a story about a World War II veteran who is being given the medal of honor posthumously. Robin said he was inured in France in 1945 and he ran away from the hospital to join his unit on the front lines. Robin said he showed the soldiers where to shoot and he saved many lives. Robin said he lived through it and died in 1998 at the age of 79. Robin said he got a lot of medals but not this one. Robin said his wife said life was never the same for him after the war. Howard said that's the guy we owe our freedom to. Robin said all of this squabbling we're doing is ridiculous. She said we should pay tribute to those people and stop saying ridiculous things to each other.
Robin read a story about how Kirk Hammett is warning people about the death of the electric guitar in music because people are using samples and things instead of real guitars. Robin said that guitar makers are having a tough time and that could be a sign of the times. Howard said learning to play takes time. Fred said with a sample you don't have to take time to learn how to play. Howard asked if he thinks that he's right about the electric guitar. Fred said he thinks that more people are going with acoustic guitars. Howard said he agrees with whatever Fred said.
Robin said The Beach Boys are celebrating having a song on the classical and classical crossover charts. Robin said they sold 5,000 copies of a new album with new orchestral accompaniment from the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. Robin had some clips to play but they were the wrong ones. Howard asked Fred if he's as good as Kirk Hammett. Fred said no way. He said Kirk is great. He said that he's just as good as Billy Corgan.
Howard said imagine if Gary got an immigrant foster child and he went to the border and they tough that he was an illegal. Gary said he was at the Today Show waiting to go on and Natalie Morales started speaking Spanish to him. He said she thought he was one of the Chilean miners. Howard asked if he carries his birth certificate wherever he goes now. Gary said he always has his papers. Howard said that story was the greatest of all time. Gary said the guy was in the room and he was only 5 feet tall. Howard said Gary has the look like he's not in the right country. He said imagine Gary gets shipped out of the country.
Gary said he listened to the first time he was on the air ever and Howard said he wasn't able to figure out what he was. Howard said he looked vague. He said they know what Fred is. He didn't know about this guy.
Robin read a story about Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. Robin said she just turned 25 today. She shared clips and home movies from 1996. Robin said she also teased that she might be releasing more music for her fans. She has also asked her fans to stop posting negative comments about Pete Davidson. Robin said that fans were thinking he was flipping off fans but he was flipping off the Paparazzi. Robin said that Grande said that Pete has been in her life since early May. Howard said he would have flipped them off if he was Pete. He asked who needs them saying offensive shit about him. Howard said if he was dating her he'd flip everyone off.
Robin read about how Koko the sign language gorilla has died. Howard said he heard that. Robin said she knew 2000 words. Howard asked JD if he knows 2000 words. He said Memet thinks he should be dating Ariana Grande. He said he thinks he's funnier than Pete. Howard said they keep posting video of Pete cracking her up.
Robin read more about Koko and how she was 46 years old. Robin said she learned to sign and understand spoken speech. Robin said that she had met Robin Williams and she was upset after he died. Howard said she had a kitten that died too and she got upset about that. Howard said she was clearly upset and felling empty. Robin said Koko also enjoyed many TV shows and she met Betty White. Robin said she was a fan of Pretty Woman too. Howard said Benjy tried to get Koko booked on the show but she was only available in the afternoon. Robin laughed but Howard said he's serious. He said that she's like Madonna or Barbra Streisand. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:35am.
Howard started the show talking about how they have 4 hours and he has a lot to get to. He said he's going to jump in with a call from Mike who is in love with Bubba. Howard said he has to bring up Bubba every time he comes on. Mike said that's not true. Howard asked what he wants. Mike said he wants to let him know there is a petition to get Bubba back on the air. Howard said he knew it. Mike said that he also sent in some Bubba song parodies about Scott Greenstein.
Howard said since he brought it up he'll get into that. He said that he and Bubba were talking and they were talking about how to get back on SiriusXM. He asked Mike not to make noise. He said he's very irritable today. Howard said there's something wrong with him. He said his shoulder is a little achy and he's ready to jump out a window.
Howard said Bubba said he heard him and he has to be nice to Scott Greenstein so they're playing songs about Scott. Howard said Scott has no idea that this is going on. He said he doesn't care either. He said he's just doing his job. Howard looked for the song but it wasn't there. JD told him where it was. Howard said he's good. He said this is a Ned song where he sings about kissing Scott's ass to get back on for a second chance. It was to the tune of the Hawaii 5-0 theme.
Howard said that's epic. He said they're desperate to get back in there. Robin said Bubba said things about Scott. Howard said now they want to be back on the team. Robin asked if he would ever be able to work with Scott after saying those things. Howard said Bubba would like that to happen. He said now Mike can call Bubba and tell him he got on the air.
Mike asked what he thinks about Sean Spicer getting his own talk show. Howard didn't hear about that. Mike said he's not sure who it was but he read part of an article about it. Howard said he doesn't know about it. He said Sean is like the worst communicator ever so he's not sure how it would be. Howard said most podcasts no one listens to. He said if someone wants to hire him to get an audience he's not sure how that's going to work. Robin said they're putting together a pilot. Howard said that costs about 3 dollars. Gary said the show is going to be about civility. Howard said a lot of people want to hear about that. He said people want to hear yelling and screaming.
Howard said that's enough of Mike. He said he hates when he runs the agenda. He said he'll bring up Bubba when he wants to. He said Mike is annoying. He said it's really annoying when he calls in like that. He said he even knows when he calls that he has to bring up Bubba.
Howard said as far as Sean Spicer goes he knows nothing about it. He said he was laughable as the press secretary. He said he was laughable. He looked unsure of himself and he didn't seem to know what he was talking about. He said the media flustered him. He said that you need all of that under control.
Howard said people might be wondering what Sean Spicer is thinking about. Robin said she never wonders about that.
Robin said she thought it was shows like America's Got Talent that had people just driving into walls. Howard said that's just Three Stooges funny. He said people think he's the one who doesn't know how to have fun. He said it's like he's the weird one. Howard said that cop called in yesterday about the road rally thing and how people go 140 on the open road. He said if they get in an accident they think they're assholes but other than that they're fine.
Howard said he was shocked by that whole thing. He said he has tape of Ronnie's road rally. JD told him where the clip was. Howard said it's the gold rush rally. He asked if that's a sponsor or something. Ronnie came in even though he didn't call for him. Ronnie said he was thrown off the panel too.
Howard said what Ronnie did was retarded. He said he was running around breaking the speed limit. He said Ronnie denied doing that. He said most guys are breaking the limit though. He said Ronnie brought in that racing suit today. He said he has to see him in it. Robin said she doesn't want to see it on a hanger. Howard told him to go put it on and come back in after the commercial break.
Howard said he was pointing out how silly the whole rally is. Ronnie said it's promotional. Howard said it's encouraging people to go out and race. Ronnie said you're not racing. He said it's not that important to get there first. He said it's about taking pictures and about the sponsors. Ronnie said a guy sent him a picture this morning. He said they passed him on the highway. He said the guy has the back of the car with no license plate on it. He said that's what they got pulled over for.
Howard said this is the start of the Gold Rush Rally. Howard asked if that's the sponsor. Ronnie said here are a bunch of sponsors. He doesn't know what Gold Rush is. Howard said Ronnie doesn't have the answer. Ronnie said he was asked to come in. Howard said he asked what the Gold Rush Rally is and he doesn't know.
Robin read about how 10 cars were pulled over in that rally. Ronnie asked where they were. Robin was going through the story and found they were in two counties in some state. Howard said wow. He said that's what he's talking about. Howard said stop writing him emails about what an asshole he is. He said he's the one who isn't cool for thinking people shouldn't race on the streets.
Robin told Howard about another rally where they go through a few states around the west coast. Robin said this is how rich people get into this stuff. She said that it costs $20,000 to enter the Gold Rush rally. Howard said 10 cars were pulled over in 2017 in that rally. Howard said he hates being in the car so much. He said if he has to drive that's fine but he wants to get out so fast. He said he doesn't understand. He asked who wants to be in a car. Ronnie said that's how Kurt Busch makes his living. He said he's doing it for promotion for his sponsor. Howard said he has free time and this is what he does. Robin said this is what he does for the sponsor so it's not his free time.
Howard said Ronnie has free time and then he goes driving. Ronnie said he had the biggest smile on his face from that. Howard said he thought he had hemorrhoids from driving. Ronnie said that's all gone. He said he used to when he drove a truck.
Howard said this is some audio from the start of the rally. He played the clip of the cars revving up. Ronnie said that the cars won't run unless they're up to temperature so that's what they're doing. Howard said he's bullshit. Ronnie said they don't want to run when the engines are cold. Howard played a car revving and crackling. He said it sounds like it's going to break.
Howard took a call from a female state trooper who said that it's insane that they are doing this. She said she sees so many accidents from speed. She said you can't react fast enough to other people when you're going that fast. Howard said it's like smokers. He said that he doesn't want you on the road with his kids and wife and friends and family out there. He said he doesn't want them going out for sport and crashing into him. He said he doesn't need that. The caller, Lisa, said she has seen a lot in 13 years as a state trooper. She said that it's not just you on the road. She said you have to take that into account. She said she's seen some horrific things.
Howard said he is a man of law and order so he doesn't want to see that stuff out there. He said he wants to see Ronnie in his racing suit. Ronnie said it's like a Power Rangers suit.
Howard said Brent is saying that his reaction time is probably slower now too. Ronnie said Brent knows everything. Brent came in and said that his reaction time isn't what it used to be. He said that's why people drive slow in Florida. He said they're old and their reaction times are slower. Ronnie said Brent knows everything. Brent said ate 68 everyone's reaction times slow. He said that's common sense. Howard said everyone knows that. Howard said that's a common fact. He said that your reflexes slow down.
Ronnie said Brent thinks he knows everything. Brent said that it's common sense. Ronnie said he can fuck as hard as he did when he was 20. He can't do it as many times. He said he can fuck every day though. He said Stephanie can't handle it but he can. Brent said your body changes as you get older. Ronnie said that doesn't mean that your reaction time goes down. He said he responds to road things very fast. Ronnie said that guys in their 30s can't play baseball because their reaction times are slower. He said that's just a fact.
Brent asked why NASCAR drivers retire at a certain age. Ronnie said they get phased out. Howard said it's because of their reaction times. Brent said they want the older names in the sport. Howard asked why baseball players retire. Ronnie said they get beat up. He said their knees don't work as good and things like that. Howard said it's from getting older.
Howard said it's just a fact that you get slower as you get older. Ronnie asked why Brent has to come in and tell him that. He said he was talking to Jon Hein this morning and he saw Brent looking around trying to hear what they were talking about. He said he was taking notes in his fuckin' journal.
Ronnie asked Brent what he's going to do if Bubba starts back up at Sirius. He asked if he'll go back. Brent said he doesn't go backwards. He said he's not going back to the show. Howard said Bubba put him on the radio. Brent said Bubba wasn't the first one. Howard said Ronnie used to drive John Gambling so would he go back? Ronnie said no. Howard asked why he isn't loyal to him. Ronnie said he didn't work for him full time. Ronnie said he was doing it long before he was around.
Howard asked what his point was with Brent. Ronnie said he thought he had loyalty. Howard said he's loyal to him. Brent said that people move around in the radio business. He said lots of them work for different places. Ronnie said he's the godfather of Bubba's kid. Brent said he's not going back.
Howard asked Fred if he would go back to Sy Dresner if he asked him to go back. Fred said no in his Sy voice. Howard said Robin sued to work in Baltimore. Ronnie said it's a different situation. He said Bubba was his best friend. Brent said he's a friend but not his best friend.
Brent said if he was in Marilyn Manson for yeas and he got into the Rolling Stones, he's not going back.
Fred said that they say that your cognitive speed drops off drastically as you age. He said Ronnie's speed has probably dropped off quite a bit. He had a number that I missed. Ronnie said whatever. Howard said they're all getting older. He said they can't stop that.
Brent said they just don't want to see Ronnie get hurt or hurt someone. He said it's just going to take one bad accident and people are going to jail.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie's ignorant about the road race. He said he's out of his mind. He said if he was in an accident wearing a suit looking like an idiot he'd own him in an insurance situation. He said he'd own him and Kurt and everyone involved. Howard said he's right. He said this guy will be delivering the dildo up his ass. Howard said no lube on it. Ronnie said he'll just sit home looking out his window. He said he'll do nothing. He said he's going to worry about Mike. He told him to come for him. Ronnie said he can fuck himself.
Howard said race on a race track. Ronnie said that it can happen on the street at any time. Brent said he's talking about the race suit because it's intent. Ronnie was talking over everyone and not listening to what they were saying.
Robin said if you plan to drive above the speed limit then it's intent. Robin said she's not wearing a race suit in her car. Ronnie said Robin speeds. He said she has a car that's not a street car. Robin said she does have a car that's a racing car. She said she doesn't drive it around fast. Ronnie said sure she doesn't.
Howard said he was on a plane with Ronnie once and he looked out the window for 6 hours. He said that sound of cars racing is in his head. Fred played the sounds of cars racing. Howard said he wonders what he's thinking about and this is what's coming out of his ears.
Howard said do it on a race track. Brent said if he's in court he's going to be asked if he intended to break the speed limit. Ronnie said he won't answer. He said he'll take the fifth. Brent said the jury can infer guilt then. Howard asked if the caller is going to keep Stephanie in it or kick her out. The caller said he'd keep her in it. Ronnie said sure he is.
Howard said he was so shocked by the email yesterday. He said he was trying to be reasonable about people driving too fast on the roads. He said people got so angry with him. Howard said that he doesn't want anyone out there driving around like that. He said cars are dangerous weapons. Brent said that those guys racing out there would be pissed if they got hit. He said they'd be the first ones out there to go after someone who hit their family. Robin asked where Ronnie's racing suit is. Brent said he can't wait for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that there was one driver in that rally who drives for a living and he got off at the wrong exit. Ronnie said he admits that. He said he admits that. He said the road wasn't marked that well. He said maybe it was his reaction time being fucked up.
Howard took a call from a woman who said in Tampa two kids were racing each other and a mother and her baby were killed when they were hit. She said the kids have ruined their lives because they were racing on the street. Robin said their 68 year old kid is out there doing that. Robin said they're trying to straighten them out. Howard said he didn't know what this was about. He said he would have stopped Ronnie from doing it. Brent said he heard about this accident the caller brought up. He said his in-laws live down that way. He said they were going over 100 miles per hour. They did it in the afternoon when people were out.
Howard asked if Ronnie gets it now. Ronnie said those kids were drag racing. He said they weren't drag racing in the rally.
Howard said he was surprised how many people attacked him for being the asshole for saying he enjoys the rule of law. He said he doesn't like the rally thing on the streets. Howard said he was upset about it. Ronnie said he gets it. Howard read some email about yesterday's segment. He said people were saying he complains about everything and anything. Howard said he was complaining about people speeding to get to a casino fast. Howard asked if the world has gone insane. Robin said yes. Robin said that Ronnie told him to take his common sense outside. Ronnie said he told Brent to do that.
Howard read more email about that segment and what people were saying about that. An emailer said they're all going out and using Howard's name to have fun. Ronnie said he didn't use Howard's name. Howard said he doesn't get it. Brent said this is like Groundhog Day every time. Brent said if he's not on Howard's show they don't care and they're not even going to take his call. Howard asked how he can ask about that. Brent said if he's not with Howard's show they're not taking his call. Ronnie wasn't listening. He said he doesn't need to hear it from him.
Ronnie said they're making it seem like he's calling people and using his name. Robin said they're not saying that. She said the emailer was saying that Ronnie is the one who is taking advantage of it. Brent tried to explain it again but he Ronnie wasn't listening.
Howard read another email about Ronnie and he was the one getting the positive stuff. Howard said Ronnie just doesn't get it. He said that he has to have Brent explain it to him every day about what he means about him using his name to get this stuff. Howard read more mail about the rally thing and people were on Ronnie's side.
Howard said they all side with Ronnie. Fred's Ronnie said that he can't drive 55. Howard said he's Ronnie Hagar. Howard read more of the mail that Ronnie got. People were saying they'd get pegged like Ronnie just to get a chance to drive that Ford GT.
Ronnie said he was asked to participate. Howard asked why he was called. Ronnie said he's a friend of his. Ronnie said he met Kurt at the NASCAR track and then up there. Brent said that NASCAR gave him a hot pass because he works there. Ronnie said he knows the guy who owns the track so that's how he got it. Howard said somewhere along the line his name came into it. Ronnie said he's admitting it did. Ronnie said he became friends with the guy through the show. He said they are still friends. He said he didn't just use him to be his friend for a day. He said the guy is still friends with him 5 or 8 years later. Robin said this is all from being on the show. Ronnie said that if he leaves the show she's insinuating that he's going to stop being his friend. Robin said she's just saying that the situation still exists.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was at the Barrett Jackson auction that they were at. He said when he came into the pit area he saw a guy in a Monster outfit. He said he thought it was a Make a Wish thing. He said he went around and saw it was Ronnie. He said it was the funniest thing he's ever seen. Howard asked if he didn't think he was a race car driver. The caller said he thought he was a Make a Wish kid. Ronnie said everyone driving that car wore that same outfit. Howard said they're just having some fun, that's all. The caller said that Ronnie was the only one in the outfit.
Howard asked Ronnie if he would like to be buried in that outfit. Ronnie said he would. He said that would be fine. He said he'll keep it and put it in his will and get buried in it. He said he'll be buried in glass so you can see him in it. Howard said he wasn't a race car driver though. He asked if he would like to be buried with a dildo in his ass. Ronnie said no to that. He said that maybe in his hand.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that racing is a whole different world. Howard said he knows that but it should be on a track. The caller said that it's a different world. Howard said he knows that. The caller said that it has nothing to do with the show. Howard said he's missing the point. He said what he's saying is that he's learning about road rallies. The caller said it's a rally and they're not supposed to break the law. He said that's not the point of the rally. Howard said there shouldn't be rallies. He said they're messing with his life. Howard hung up on the guy as he was arguing with him.
Howard said he doesn't want to be on the road with people racing. He said he doesn't want to be around smokers either. Ronnie said it's not like people want shit blown in their faces by a fan. Brent said he just compared it to an old radio bit that no one knows about. Howard said he knows.
Howard said he was trying to give Ronnie a victory with the email. Ronnie said he doesn't care about a victory.
Robin said she was impressed with him yesterday getting emotional about being asked to do something. She said that he didn't even like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to point out that Ronnie did the same thing he does to Shuli where he says he's sure that Brent has done way worse. He said it always comes out when he's on. Ronnie said he's getting attacked there. Howard said he wasn't attacking him. He was telling him that your reaction times slow. He said that's just a fact. Brent said that he's not sticking a knife in his back. He said he's not talking about him behind his back. He said Ronnie doesn't know what he's talking about.
Ronnie did his Brent impression and said that he was saying ''Howard we're going to make great radio today.'' Howard liked the impression.
Howard said they learned some things today. Ronnie wanted to hear Brent wrap it up. Brent did it and said that they learned a few things. He went over them and summarized it all for him. Ronnie said he made great radio today. Brent said that's the highest complement he can give him.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he signed a waiver before the race. Ronnie said he did. The caller said he waived all of his rights to the organizers. The caller said that he used to race but he couldn't stay ahead of the car so he retired from racing. Ronnie said he doesn't have to do that if he doesn't want to. Brent asked if he gets what he was saying about the waiver. Ronnie said he knows what he signed. He said he signed it saying that he ''indem... whatever that is'' and he knows it was all on him.
Robin said this caller knew he couldn't keep up with the car. Ronnie said he's not doing it every weekend. He said he knows what he signed. He said he doesn't do this every week. Brent said that means he doesn't have as much experience. Ronnie made some old Amos and Andy reference during that talk. Howard goofed on him about making that old reference.
Howard did his Ronnie impression and goofed on him about his ''indemnification'' screw up. Ronnie said no one asked him to be on his side. He said everything he does is wrong so he knows he's not on his side. He said Brent knows the facts and he knows the facts. Howard said he's being too sensitive over there. He said he just doesn't want to see him get in trouble. Ronnie said he's made it 68 years without getting in trouble. He said he's good. Howard thanked them for coming in and let them go. Howard said Ronnie got a little sensitive there. He said he always wondered what was in his head. He said now he knows.
Howard said he saw Governor Jerry Brown being interviewed. He said he admires that guy. He said they were almost bankrupt but now they have an $8 billion surplus. Howard said he was watching that last night.
Howard said he has to mention something. He said he has some good news but he'll do a word first. He did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jason said that Benjy came in with a computer and a back pack. Benjy said he took some notes.
Howard said he has some important news. He said people enjoyed that he might make a special for Medicated Pete and Sour Shoes. He said that he has some news about that. He said they're going to have a Medicated Pete July 4th special. He said on July 4th they will have 2 Medicated Pete prank calls. He said they'll have the one where he talks to drops of Wendy. He said they have 25 minutes of him talking to her drops. He said that is fascinating to him. He said that you'll hear some of this. He played some of the audio of Pete saying goodbye to Wendy. He had the clip where Pete was peeing while saying goodbye.
Howard said Pete is woozy in that clip. Robin said he sounds like he's going to pass out. Howard said the second part of that special is 2 hours of Sour Gary talking to Medicated Pete on the phone. He said that will be the full conversation. He played a clip of Sour Gary talking to Pete. Howard said it's amazing. He said any time you tune into that you'll get something. He said that it's an incredible 2 hours. He said that he would never air the entire 2 hours during this show but on the 4th of July you can turn it on and leave it on in the background. He said that Sour's impression of Gary is spot on. He played another clip of him talking to Pete. He said this went on for 2 hours.
Howard said Sour Gary called Pete to get advice on some problems he was having with Mary. Shuli said he has been in the car with Sour and he was doing the Gary impression for the entire drive.
Howard played another clip of Sour doing his Gary impression with Pete. Sour was just doing his Gary voice and talking to Pete who had nothing to add to the conversation. He was just saying ''Yeah... yeah... yeah.'' Howard said he just stayed on the whole 2 hours without saying much.
Howard said the 2 hour special is something he hopes they listen to. He played more of the two of them talking about nothing.
Howard said real Gary should call Pete. He said he could get his talking out. Gary said right. Howard said they have a double header on the 4th of July. He said that will air on Howard 101 on the 4th. It starts at 8pm. He played more of Pete and Sour Gary talking about nothing. Howard said that's better than any shitty fireworks that you might see.
Benjy wanted to ask a question but Howard had to take a break. Howard told him to hold that thought. They went to break after that.
Howard said he has JD, Jason, Gary, Benjy, Shuli and Steve Nowicki in there. He said Ronnie has also changed into his racing outfit. He had him come in to show off the suit. Ronnie came in to laughter. Everyone was laughing. Howard asked how he feels in it. Ronnie said it's very comfortable. Howard said he's in full racing outfit from the road rally. Jason said it looks like pajamas. Howard said Goldberg is the only one who didn't fit into it. He said he probably just didn't want to wear a douchy outfit like that. Howard asked if Ronnie wears lifts in his shoes. Ronnie said no. Howard said he looks shorter in his sneakers. Shuli said he looks inches shorter. Ronnie said he doesn't have lifts in there. Shuli went over to see how tall he is.
Gary asked if he wore a helmet. Ronnie said no. Howard asked Robin if she's turned on by this and if she's squirting. Robin said she is not. She said she's professional. She asked who wouldn't be turned on by that. She said he looks like he's dressed up for Halloween. Howard said Brent stole his clothes so he has to wear that the rest of the day.
Shuli asked if he fooled around with Stephanie while wearing that. Ronnie said no. Howard said he's going to take care of that outfit. He said he'll put it in a glass case. Fred Ronnie said that the suit is ''flame retarded.'' Ronnie said it really is. He said it's flame retarded. Howard said someone light him on fire. He said he happens to look very nice. He said he had a snow suit like that when he was a kid. Shuli wished him luck in the costume contest.
Howard said he wanted to talk to Sal after the show yesterday. He said he knocked on the door where Sal and Richard have an office. He said Sal was out to lunch so he never got to talk to him. He said he bets he knows what he wanted to talk to him about. He had him come in.
Sal came in and said he didn't know what he wanted to talk to him about. He said Ronnie mentioned something. Howard said he knocked on his door and he wasn't there. Sal said he was down in the food court. Howard said he has to know what he wanted to talk about. Sal said he has no idea. Howard said he must know. Sal said he doesn't know. He said someone joked that the had a toothbrush for him.
Howard said he wants him to come clean. Sal said he's not sure what he's talking about. He asked what he did. Howard told him to run through the catalog in his head. Sal said he has been so good. Howard asked what he did. Sal said he doesn't know. Howard said there's something going on with him. Sal said ''Hmm.'' He didn't have an answer. Howard said if he confesses there won't be any consequences. He said Sal knows. Sal said he came to see him and he doesn't know why. He said he heard he wanted to give him a toothbrush to shove up his ass. Jason said that sounds like Howard.
Howard kept asking Sal what he did but Sal had no idea. Howard said if he has to tell him then here will be repercussions. Howard asked if there's anything weird that's gone on what him lately. Sal said he had a colonoscopy. He said there might be something about Mary Dell'Abate. He said Shuli told him that he wanted to tongue fuck Mary. He said he was under anesthesia at the time. He said Shuli told him that he wanted to put her on all fours and tongue fuck her ass. Everyone was cracking up. Gary said that's the funniest fucking thing he's ever heard.
Sal said that he'd never do it. He said Shuli asked him what he'd do if he wasn't married and she wasn't married. Howard said Sal has a thing for Mary. Sal asked who wouldn't.
Howard said that's not even it. He said Sal has to know what he did. He said he's playing a game. Shuli said they all know. Gary asked Sal how he doesn't know what he did. Sal said he did say hi to him in the hall. Howard said then he found out something about him and he came to talk to him.
Sal said he was cleaning his office yesterday and threw away stuff. Howard asked what happened then. Sal said he went to lunch and came back to clean the office more. He asked if he threw away something valuable. Howard asked if that's what he did. Sal said he threw away Jon Hein's Fast Food Mania book. Jason said that's not something valuable.
Howard said he came to see Sal yesterday and Sal wasn't there. He said he had a toothbrush and he thought it was funny. He said he was going to tell him he bought him this toothbrush because he likes that. He said that he knocked on the door and he wasn't there. He said that he was going to tell Sal he had to talk to him about something he did wrong just to see what he confesses to. He said they did get the Mary Dell'Abate thing out of him. He said he didn't know what else he'd get out of him. He said he was just fishing. Sal said Gary knows he'd never do that to his wife. Howard said he would do it to his wife if he had the chance. Howard said Sal would do it. Sal said she loves him so it's fine.
Shuli said Mary came up a few times during that conversation. He said that he jerked off to her too. Sal was under anesthesia when he said that. Howard asked if he has done that. Sal said probably. He said Gary should be flattered. He said that things have changed though. He said he hasn't done that lately. He said that was a long time ago. Sal said he saw a picture of her recently and he'd put her back into rotation. He said that he would like to go back to that. Howard said he thinks he has a chance with her because she does fuck Gary. Sal said she is into bestiality. Howard said that's going too far.
Howard asked what Sal's fantasy is. Sal said Mary has these long thighs. He said they went to Germany together once. Gary said they never went to Germany. They went to Amsterdam. Sal said his fantasy is for her to crush his head between her legs until he can't breathe with his face against her private parts. Gary asked if he's ever jerked off to Robin. Sal said sure. He said he thinks she's gorgeous. Sal said with her it would be missionary and doggy. Sal said she's missionary because she has beautiful eyes and she has a beautiful bosom. He said he wants the eyes and bosom in one. He said he'd lick the nipples and tweak them and all of that. Robin said she can't do that without his wife's consent.
JD said he has cleaned a lot of shit and piss in that bathroom. He said he's afraid that someone is going to think it's him. Howard said he has never shit on the wall before. Howard asked if it was Benjy. Benjy said he's been locked out of that bathroom for like a year. Benjy said he was so great in that bathroom. Howard asked why he locked him out of it. Benjy said it was the day after they were pounding on the door. He said Ronnie and Andy Cohen were knocking. He said he forgot to flush and Andy went in. He said he was told the next day he can't use it anymore.
Steve said he overheard that Jason shit in the bathroom. Jason said he did not shit in that bathroom. He said end of story. Sal said he didn't shit in the bathroom. He said he wipes it all down in there like Gary and JD. Howard said he and Richard piss together in there. Sal said they do. Howard asked if the toilet flush is so powerful that it flew up on the wall.
Howard said Richard claims he shit in there but he didn't shit on the wall. Gary said they agreed not to shit in there. Howard said Richard doesn't play by the rules.
Sal said Richard shits his pants all the time in their office. He said he will shit his pants and clean it up.
Richard came in and said that he can't deny it but he didn't do it. Howard asked if he could identify his own shit. Richard said definitely. Howard had him take a look at his shit. Richard took a look and said that it could be his shit. He said it looks like his. He said he's fine with them blaming it on him. Howard said he wants the truth. He asked how he wipes. Richard said he kind of stands up a little. He said he stakes the paper and goes from both sides and pulls in. No one understood that. Richard said it's like Oragami. Howard asked Fred what he thinks. Fred said he thinks it's his.
Shuli said he thinks it was him because most people know if they shit on the wall or not. Richard said he would be lying if he said it's him. He said he's willing to take the fall for it though. Richard said it could be anyone's shit. Jason asked why he would take the fall for it. Richard said he did take a shit in there yesterday. Howard said he wants to know how it ended up on the wall. Benjy said he thought someone else shit in there yesterday. Howard said he's confused. Gary said someone else was in there and didn't answer when they knocked on the door.
Richard said he was in there for like one minute. He said he went in and got out because he had to go catch the ferry. He said he wasn't the person in there for a long time.
Howard got a note saying that Will shit in there. Will came in and said he did shit in there. He said he doesn't think that's his shit. Howard asked if he had a problem. Will said he did not. He said he's telling him that the water explodes out of the toilet so it could have shot out. Howard said they should put something in the toilet and see if they can make it shoot out. Robin said it won't have the right constancy and weight to shoot out. Howard told Sal to go shit. Sal said he doesn't have to shit. Richard didn't either. Howard said put some peanut butter in there and see if it will project out of there.
Will said he was in there before the 40 minute locked door person was in there. Gary said it should be easy to track. No one was paying attention to that. Howard said he can't believe Will is under suspicion. Will said that bathroom in the lobby is awful. Gary said it is pretty bad out there. Gary said they can check to see who was in the bathroom for 45 minutes. Jason said he goes in the lobby to go. He said he does not shit in that bathroom.
Sal said that no one stinks it up like Gary. He said it's a smell that no one can explain. Gary said he hasn't shit in there in 4-5 years. Sal said it still stinks from him. Richard said it really does smell bad. Sal said it's like a shit ghost coming down the hallway. He said that he's not sure what it is but it's not a natural shit smell. Richard said he's smelled Sal's and it's not that bad.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who asked if Sal has jerked off to Beth or Fred's wife. Sal said no.
Brent came in and said they just did the peanut butter test and nothing came out. Brent also said he has no access to that bathroom so it wasn't him. He said there was some spray on the seat from the flush. Howard said try a banana. He said that might be the right consistency.
Jim asked if Sal has ever jerked off to Jon Hein. Sal said once. Howard said it's like CSI out there with the toilet now. Jason said maybe it was Jon Hein because his ass is that height. Richard said maybe it was someone who was shitting and didn't sit down fast enough.
Brent came in and said the banana was the same. He said it went right down the toilet. Shuli said maybe some oatmeal or something. Howard said they're not going to launch things out of the toilet. Benjy asked if it was behind the toilet. JD said it was above the flusher and behind.
Richard said they can smell his ass and try to match it up like that. Sal asked if they can DNA test it. Gary said yes. Richard said they can take a sample from his shit. Will said he'll give him whatever he needs too. Howard said they'll have to see. Robin said these scientists must be thrilled they came up with the tests so they can test shit.
Howard said imagine being in there for 40 minutes and no one saw who it was. Howard said whoever it was must have shit on the wall. Steve said maybe that's the one thing they didn't clean up after a big explosion.
Ronnie came in and said it was after 2 o'clock. Howard said he and Robin were gone. Richard said he went in around 3. Howard asked if Ronnie knows who was in there after 2. Ronnie said he knows people who were in there before. Howard asked how he doesn't know who did it. Ronnie said he went in there but didn't shit. He said he shits on 37 where it's quiet. He said he doesn't go in there unless it's diarrhea.
Howard asked Ronnie who he thinks it is. Ronnie said he has no idea. He said he did look into it but he can't reveal the key card information. He said he can't say who was in there between 2 and 6. He said he's assuming that's when it was. He said it was after 2. Howard asked if he has a suspect in mind. Ronnie said everyone is pretty much gone by 6. JD said there are people who have access back there. Howard said he's saying that there were other people in there. Ronnie said he can't say. Howard said all he's asking is if he has an idea of who was in there. Ronnie said he didn't look. He said he had to destroy the information. He said it probably happened between 2 and 6. Howard asked what he's saying. Ronnie said that's all he knows. Howard kicked him out.
Robin said she was just wondering how many people used the bathroom. Howard said this is what he deals with all day. He asked how many times this is going to happen. He said he's going to have the DNA tests done. He said he has to test Richard. Benjy asked if Howard trusts him to give the shit to him. Richard said he'll give a shit sample right there in the studio. Howard said he has to take a break and get to the things they have to get through. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said he never did get to the panel. He said he has to get to a couple of things. He said that Shuli can go first. Shuli said that Bigfoot is one of his favorite Wack Packers. He said they called him to see if they could get him excited since they've never heard him excited. Howard played a clip of Sal calling and telling him that 9/11 was a prank. Bigfoot never did get excited. He didn't care that much that dolphins speak English. He wasn't that excited about world hunger being over. He got excited when he found out that someone wanted to do something to his ass.
Howard asked what else he has on the list. Shuli said he asked Bigfoot for some marriage advice. He said that JD was close to getting married so he asked him about that. Howard asked JD how that's going. JD said that he got his suit. Howard asked what religion he is. JD said he's nothing really. He said they were a couple of things and he'd be Christian if he had to be one. Howard asked which one. JD said his fiancee isn't really one either. He said he's guessing Christian. He said he doesn't think her parents really are anything either. Howard said if he gets to know her now the wedding might get called off. Howard asked if he thinks there is a god. JD said he doesn't know. Howard said welcome to the club.
Jason said that he's writing his own vows too. Howard asked how that's going. JD said she wants him to write his own vows. Howard said those are going to be so funny. He asked if he has any clue. JD said he has a little bit of a clue. He said he doesn't have anything specific right now. He said he'll talk about how much she means to him and you know... Howard said he has to tape this wedding. JD said he knows. Gary said she is very articulate. He said she's nothing like JD. Howard asked if he knows when he's going to sit down and do this. JD said he's sure he'll do it at some point. JD said he'll talk about how much he loves and cares about her. He said he'll tell her how much he wants to make her happy and how much she makes him happy. Fred did his JD voice talking about how much he loves Filet-o-Fish.
Robin asked what it is about her that he loves. JD said he loves her attitude and that she's very smart. Howard said he can hear it now... ''I love your attitude.'' Howard asked if he'll try to make it humorous. JD said he might.
Benjy asked if he remembers when he said he loves her. JD said he thinks he does. He said he doesn't want to get into all of that. Jason said they did just celebrate their 4 year anniversary of their first date. JD said that they went to a restaurant down the street from Penn Station.
Howard asked if it's true that he's judging a wet t-shirt contest 2 days before the wedding. JD said that he is going to be doing that. He didn't want to get into dates and stuff. Shuli said that Ronnie is doing it too. JD said that his fiancee isn't going with him. He didn't want to get into where it is. Howard said he thought women were uptight about that stuff now. JD said not yet apparently.
Howard got back to Shuli and Bigfoot's tips on marriage. Howard played a clip of Bigfoot talking about how his tip is just to not get married. He said women are greedy slobs and whatnot. Howard said ''why marry them when you can kill them it is.''
Howard asked Shuli what else he has. Shuli said that Angry Alice always has issues. He said he called her and this is what he got. Howard played a clip of Alice talking about her fighting in the street all the time and how she can't stand homosexuals. She said she's fighting with evil fuckers out there. Benjy said JD can use that as his vows.
Howard played another clip of Alice going off on someone who didn't know how to speak English so she told them she's glad that Trump is in office so they can send her fucking ass back to Tijuana.
Howard asked what else he has Shuli said he asked the Wack Pack what they would say at Howard's funeral some day. He had High Pitch Erik talking about what he would say. Erik was talking about what a kind person he was and how he was a daddy figure to him. Howard asked what's up with that voice. Shuli said it just drops off for no reason. He did his impression of Erik for a few seconds.
Howard asked if he had any other eulogies for him. Shuli said he has Asian Pete. Howard played that one which was pretty much unintelligible. Howard said at least he kept it short. Howard said he understood most of it. He said he wanted to thank him for what he did for him. Howard said that was creepy hearing his eulogies.
Shuli said they had Marfan Mike to record Mike's orgasm sound. Howard played that clip and Mike was doing his sounds. Howard asked Robin what she would think of that. Robin said she'd run.
Howard got to the game and said they asked Beetlejuice to name one thing in grilled cheese. This was a practice question. Howard said he knows cheese and bread are in there himself. He asked Mark if he thinks Beetlejuice will know one ingredient. Mark said he will know cheese. Howard played Beet's answer and he said you can put cheese or anything on it.
Howard said that's a rehearsal question so Mark thinks he's going to win. Howard said he has to get 3 out of 5 right. He said first up is chocolate chip cookies. Mark said he's going to say no, he will not know. Howard played Beet's answer and he said something about strawberries and wine. Robin said that can't be the right answer to that question.
Howard said that they asked Beetlejuice about what's in a cheese omelet. Mark said he thinks he will say cheese. Howard played Beet's answer and he did say cheese. Mark said that's his boy. He said he is the man.
Howard said they asked Beetlejuice if he knows what is in chili. Mark said he's going to say he will not get that one. Howard played Beet's answer and it was something about putting beans in there. Howard said Mark got that one wrong. He said it's not so easy.
Howard said that they asked Beetlejuice what is in banana bread. Mark said he's going to say that Beetlejuice will get that one. Howard played Beet's answer and Beet said ''you got cheese you got apples.'' Howard asked if Mark can believe this. He said he was on such a roll. He said just listen to that answer. He replayed it for Mark.
Howard said here's the great thing about this game. He said he got 2 right and 2 wrong. He said he has one left. He said if he gets it right he gets $500. He asked what he's going to do with that money. Mark said he's going to pay some bills. Howard said they asked Beetlejuice what is in fruit salad. Howard said any fruit he gives is right. Howard said any fruit at all. Mark said he thinks Beetlejuice will not get this one. Howard asked if he thinks he can't do it. Mark changed his answer to yes he will. He said he has no help here. Howard said on the SAT they say stick with your first answer. He said maybe Mark has something here. Mark said he's going with no. Howard said he's going with his original answer then. Howard said all Beetlejuice has to do is say apple again. Mark changed his answer to yes again. Howard said they do say stick with your original answer. He asked if he wants to be locked in on that. Mark said this is too hard. He said they have to throw cheese in the salad. Howard said any fruit but not cheese. Mark asked about tomato. Howard said stop it.
Howard asked Mark what his answer is. Mark went with no and Howard locked him in. Howard played Beet's answer and it was ''Lil' starch.'' Mark won the game. Howard said that JD says don't spend it at the strip club. JD said don't do it no matter how vulnerable you're feeling.
Howard wrapped up the game and let Mark go. Mark said he's the best. Howard said so is Mark. He said he almost blew it.
Howard had a few more questions. They had blueberry pie. Beet said you can put blueberry or whiteberry in there and same thing is different. Robin got that one right.
Howard said they asked about what's in Italian Lasagna. Robin said she thinks that Beetlejuice will not get it. Beetlejuice said there's cornmeal and bread in that.
Howard asked about a BLT sandwich. Robin said no. Howard played the answer and Beetlejuice said chicken and rice.
Howard said they asked Beetlejuice what's in pizza. Robin said he must eat a lot of that. Robin said he has to know some other things. Robin said she's going to say he has the right answer. Beetlejuice said there's sauce, meatballs and all kinds of stuff in that.
Howard said Robin is 4 for 4. He asked Robin what Beetlejuice said is in strawberry shortcake. Robin said he has said it before so she thinks he can do it. Howard played the answer and Beetlejuice said that's strawberries.
Howard said Robin is 5 for 5. He said they asked what's in Pop-Tarts. Howard said he's not even sure what's in that. Robin said she thinks that he eats them so he must have favorites. Robin said he can do this. Howard played his answer and Beetlejuice said ''What are you nuts? Tomatoes and onions, man.'' Howard said Robin was doing well until that one. Robin said she was on a streak. She said that's like NBA playoffs.
Howard wondered if Benjy is good at it. He didn't want to let him play it. Fred asked ''How can I ruin this'' in his Benjy voice.
Howard said maybe JD can play. JD said he can see his screen. He said he's kind of cheating. Howard said he wouldn't marry JD. Robin was wondering how the stripper got the money out of him. JD said she was whispering stuff in his ear and no one was there to stop him. He said he was on his own. He said he wasn't feeling good about himself that night. Benjy asked how much he spent. JD said it was his whole tax return of $800. He said he wasn't happy with himself either.
Shuli said he knows a guy who went off with a stripper who took all of his money in 3 weeks. He had left his wife and kids and went crawling back after. He said the wife didn't take him back.
JD said he had to go out and use the ATM because he was out of money. He said that she followed him right out. They were taking ridiculous fees out when he did that too. It cost him $240 out of the 800 just in fees.
Benjy asked if the girl was implying sexual stuff. JD said he's not going to say. He said there were some aggressive things going on with her. He said he doesn't want to get into it. He said she may have let her touch her boobs. JD said he's not going to say where it was or anything like that.
Jason asked if the blood came back into his head when he was at the ATM. JD said it didn't. He said she was probably standing there leaning on the ATM machine. Gary asked if a blow job would have been worth 800 bucks. JD said not at that time. He said it was very in the moment.
Shuli said seeing a guy being led to the ATM is the saddest thing. He said it's like watching an animal being led to slaughter. JD said he went back 2 or 3 times. Howard said he'd pay anything to see the video of that happening. Howard said girls can smell that kind of guy a mile away. JD said he was drunk too so he had a lot of things going against him.
Gary said it's sad because you're walking there to get money that you've already spent. JD said that he needed more money for more time. He hadn't spent it already. Howard asked if he thought she was going to bang him. JD said he didn't get what he paid for. Gary said he actually did.
Howard said you'd think he'd come to his senses on the walk to the ATM. JD said it was like a punch in the face when he walked out of there. He said he had to tell her he had no more money after that. He said he was so sick of himself by then. He said he had a sick feeling in his stomach. Robin asked if he just kicked him out of there or what. JD said he doesn't remember.
Howard asked Benjy to get to it. Benjy said he was in the room. Jason said he fingered her. Benjy said that's not the story. Jason said that's the story they were presented with. Benjy said when he was fingering her it felt weird. He said it was a weird texture. Howard asked if it was a dude. Benjy said he pulled out a Ziploc bag out of her pussy. Howard said now he's on to something.
Benjy said that she laughed about it and said she forgot about it being in there. He said she was hiding some sort of drugs in it. Howard asked if he got freaked out by that. Benjy said he thinks that he felt it was dangerous to have sex. He said she was really sweet and cute though.
Howard asked Jason if the story was better when he heard it. Jason said he didn't hear it. He said that they talked about it in a meeting. He said it should have taken 30 seconds to tell the story. Benjy said they're not being fair. He said he's not a good story teller. He said he didn't think he did that bad. Benjy said she was very sexy and he's seen her in porn since then.
Howard said he'd have a foot out the door if he found a bag inside. He took a call from a guy who asked if JD's stripper was white or black. JD said she was like European or something. He said he's not opposed to a black striper though. Benjy asked if he just made up stuff in his head about what was going to happen. JD said it was in his head.
Howard asked JD what he has to play. JD said he has a Burt Reynolds clip. He said that he was out promoting something and he was trying to get in touch with Sally Field in every interview he was doing. Howard said he came off like a bit of a dick when he was being interviewed every time. Howard said Netflix is really burning through money when they put him in something. JD said the first one is him on the Today show. Howard played the clip and Burt was talking about how Sally Field was still the one. He said that she was 7 when he fell in love with her. Gary said he got into trouble for that and said he meant to say she was 27. Howard said he did say 7 there. He said it's like Sal coming out of his colonoscopy. He said that's an unbelievable clip. Robin asked why he'd have to say her age at all. Howard replayed the clip.
Howard said she was 7 but she looked 5. Gary said that interviewer didn't help him. She didn't ask if he meant 7. Howard did his Burt impression and got all creepy like Burt was.
Howard said Burt tries to talk to Sally on Conan but she doesn't answer. Howard played that clip next. In that one Conan was asking Burt about Sally and he said she doesn't seem to be as interested as he is in having that relationship start up again. Burt said he understands that. He said he drops her notes and postcards but he may have to drop her some money.
JD said when he went on The Talk he was almost bullying her to get in contact with him. Howard played that clip and Burt was saying he still loves her. He said he has a lot of people there on his side Sally.
Howard said when he was young and sexy he could do that. Gary said he always chewed the gum and all of that. He said now he's 82 years old. JD said he was one of the guests that they don't have walk out. He just shows up on the couch. Howard said he used to be super muscular too. JD said now his head is sinking into his body.
Howard said they should get him on the show and asked about Sally Field. He did his Burt voice talking about Sally in that old man voice. He said he has an old report card of her's. He said he rubs it on his shlong. He said he wants to put her in his basement in a hole and bury her in it. He was talking about licking her asshole and stuff like that.
Howard asked what that commercial is she does. Fred said it's Boniva. Howard said he jacks off to that commercial. He said maybe Sally digs him being into her. Robin said she doesn't think so.
JD said there's an Andre the Giant documentary that's really good. Howard asked if he should see it. The guys told him he should. JD said a good part of the documentary was about how much he had to drink to get drunk. Howard played a clip that JD had pulled. They were talking about how he would drink 25 beers, 4 bottles of wine and some mixed drinks. One night he allegedly drank 106 beers. Howard said he puts the Van Halen brothers to shame. They said that he had a minimum of 24 beers. One guy said he'd bring in a case of wine.
Shuli said he was so big that when he was in Japan he'd have to lay out newspaper to shit on instead of sitting on the toilet. Benjy asked if Bubba had to do that. Howard said Bubba never did that. He had to have his wife help him wipe.
Howard said he's going to take a break but maybe they should do this again sometime. Benjy said he still has AVN clips to play. Howard said he hopes he doesn't have any more stories. Benjy said he pulled that bag out and he just realized he had something in his hand and showed it to her. He said she giggled and said she forgot about that. Benjy said it was kind of sad that there was a pill in there.
Howard said someone told him that when he was at the AVN awards he gave out his number to pick up women. Benjy said he was on stage and he did that. He said all he got was calls from guys. He said they were all sweet. He said there are some really good clips from the AVN awards. Howard said he'll pencil that into the show when they come back. He said they didn't hear from a lot of the guys. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she tries to have an open mind about Benjy but she doesn't like that story he told. She said the story went nowhere. She said it was so flat. Mariann also said that everyone on the show has a name because of him but they like Ronnie because of his personality. She said she also loves the app and the Lie Detector segment. She was going on and on so Fred played her off with loud music like they do at the Oscars. Howard said that's what happens there at that awards show. He said the music has spoken.
Howard played Robin into her news with a song parody. Howard thought that was a great one. Robin didn't care for the lyrics. Howard said that was to the tune of Mr. Sandman. He said he likes when Robin comes in with things to say. Robin said people can't just sing their own song. She said they need her.
Howard said he liked Benjy's story. He said he thought he was okay. He said he will have him back in on the panel.
Robin said she wanted to mention a couple of things before the news. Robin said she was reading this story and she has to ask Howard about this. Robin said a woman was charged with felonies for breaking into her boyfriend's home and she threatened him with a knife and told him to take off all his clothes and then they started to have intercourse. Robin said the guy claims he was in fear of his life so he did it. Robin asked if Howard could perform. Howard said he thinks so. He asked if it was a game play kind of thing. Robin said she did get arrested and charged so she doesn't think so.
Howard said he's had a woman with a knife tell him to put his clothes on and get out of there. He said if that happened it would be difficult to perform. He said he is so horny that he thinks he might be able to perform. He said maybe that would turn him off. Howard asked if she's hot. Robin said she is attractive. Howard saw the picture of her and said he could get hard for her. He said no problem. Robin asked if he has ever gone back to someone he's broken up with. Howard said he's thought about it but hasn't done it. He said once they're done they're done.
Robin read a story about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Robin said that Angelina is very angry at Brad. She said she's pissed. Robin said that she has been using the kids against Brad. Robin said they had to go to court for visitation or something and he was upset that he wasn't seeing the kids enough. Robin said the judge told her that it's important for each of them to have relationships with both of them. Robin said that Angelina had to give up their cell phone numbers to Brad.
Howard said he has a theory about that. He said adopting a thousand kids may put a strain on your marriage. He said Gary was telling them how this wife wanted to foster some kids. He said Gary got a call from one of his sons who asked if they're adopting some kids from the border. Gary said it wasn't ''we'' it was ''Are you adopting Mexican refugees?'' Gary said he thinks he was just curious. Howard said he wanted to know if he was going to have any kids when he got home. Robin said there is one of the kids who doesn't want to see Brad anymore and he's old enough to decide on his own. Howard said that he doesn't think Brad has had many tough times in his life based on how he looks. Howard did a live commercial read after that. Howard said he feels like he's channeling Dan Ingram with his announcer voice. He said he may take over that Kemosabe thing from Dan. He said he just has to learn how to spell Kemosabe.
Robin asked how often JD is washing his sheets now. JD said it's every week or two. He said they do towels one week and the sheets the next. JD said they have a whole thing with that. Robin read about how often you should be washing sheets. Robin said that they say the average person spends 56 hours per week in bed and during that time you're shedding dead skin cells, body oils and sweat. Robin said dust mites and allergens are absorbed into the sheets. Robin said they say that you should wash the sheets once a week to keep them clean. Robin said not every other week. Howard said the jizz stains too. Robin said they recommend pre-treating the stains and use hot or warm water. Robin said you put the sheets in and then start it. Howard said most guys don't do it because they think it's their own grossness. Robin said that's disgusting. Howard said women want to throw up when they hear JD didn't wash his in a year. Howard played a song parody about JD not changing his sheets. Robin read some suggestions on washing your sheets and she was kind of shocked by the last tip which was to keep wrinkles out of them you put them on the bed slightly wet.
Robin read a story about Chris Hardwick who has a former girlfriend who is coming to his defense. Robin said this woman was also engaged to Chris. Robin said they were in a 4 year relationship and she says she has watched this man she was in love with being shunned after being accused of sexual misconduct. Howard said he supports women coming forward and outing scumbags but this one woman made an accusation. He said he's not even sure what it was. He said then they canceled his show. He said how about investigating a little bit. Robin said you have to ask yourself how some people ride this out and some get fired immediately. Howard said he doesn't know. Robin said Ryan Seacrest was about to start American Idol again and he was accused of something and no one fired him. Howard said it is odd that Chris had his show canceled right away. Howard said he's not sure what's happening there. Robin said this woman is saying that Chris was not like that in her time with him. She said that he deserves the right to due process. Robin said that this other women was accusing him of just about imprisoning her. Howard said he doesn't know, he can't keep up with this. He said he can't keep up with everyone's relationships. He said he saw Chris with his wife and she's hot. He said she's one of the Hearsts too so he may be able to afford not working. He said he never thought of him as some heart throb.
Robin read a story about Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande. Howard said they're so in love that they're making out all the time. He said he likes it. He said he likes seeing hot pictures of her and the two of them together. He said Pete is very tall and she's small. He said maybe he's not that tall. Fred said he's 6'4''. Robin said they say that Pete has BDE which is Big Dick Energy. Howard said Ariana did claim he has a big one. Howard said Pete says that he doesn't have a lot to do on Saturday Night Live so she's got to be smiling at something. Howard said he has that BDE but not the dick to go with it. Howard said he knew a guy who got the hottest chick in high school. He said they said he must have a big dick or a lot of coke.
Howard said he saw Seth Rogen telling Pete and Ariana to take it easy with the pictures and stuff. Robin said it can be funny when they break up after all of this. Howard said now Pete is a big deal in show business. Robin said she saw him booked on a talk show the other day. Howard said Pete even said that he wouldn't be on Fallon if he wasn't dating Ariana Grande. He said he likes it. He said he hopes people don't shame them into posting less pictures. Robin said she doesn't think you can do that with this generation. Robin said that with Kim Kardashian she was just at the White House saving some woman and the next day she's on the floor writhing around for her Instagram account. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said his wife has shocked him with her drinking lately. He said she used to drink wine but now she's having a cocktail. Robin said maybe she liked it and she wants to do it more often. Howard said he wonders what he should do. He said he still has a glass of wine when he goes out to dinner. He said the other night he had a beer. He said he hasn't had one in like 25 years. He said they had a pizza and his friend said he wanted a beer. He said he actually had some so he had it with the pizza. He said it was great and he loved it. Robin asked if he's going to have it more often now. Howard said now he's going to have some crack. Howard said had the one beer and it was good. He liked it. Robin said she has been having long Island Iced Tea lately. She said she has been making her own. Robin said they've been talking about the late night wars. Howard said it's all bull. Robin said last night Colbert, Fallon and Conan O'Brien joined in on a segment on The Late Show and on the Tonight Show. Howard said Letterman never teamed up with Leno. Robin said they did at one point toward the end of the Tonight Show. Howard said they didn't like each other though.
Robin had some audio of Fallon, Colbert and O'Brien talking about what Trump has said about them lately. Howard asked where Jimmy Kimmel was. Robin said she was wondering where he was. Howard said they don't really like each other. He said they hate each other. Robin said the three joked about being targeted by the President's insults. She said they agreed go to dinner at the Red Hen where Sarah Huckabee Sanders was thrown out. Robin said she found it interesting that Kimmel wasn't involved. Robin said that Conan's show was cut back to a half hour. She asked if that has happened yet. Howard wasn't sure.
Robin read a story about how Jerry Seinfeld has come out in defense of Roseanne Barr. Robin said that he says that her show being canceled was overkill. He said that she was sabotaging herself and you don't need to murder someone who is committing suicide. Howard said when someone says something like she did then a big corporation has to do something. He said he thinks that even Roseanne recognizes that.
Robin read a story about Sarah Sanders getting secret service protection after what happened last week. Robin said that they're not sure how long that will last.
Robin read a story about the owner of the Red Hen restaurant was a president of a local business group in her area and now she has resigned as the executive director of the group. Robin said she felt it was best for her to step down because the spotlight has been put on her and the town. Howard said he doesn't think Sarah Sanders needs protection. He said he thinks she can handle it herself. Howard did a live commercial read a short time later.
Robin read a story about Melania Trump making another visit to an immigration center. Howard said the first one went so well. Robin said her last trip was cut short because of weather. Robin said she caused quite an uproar with the jacket she wore at the last visit. Howard said maybe ''fuck the children'' would cause more of an uproar.
Robin read about the Supreme Court upholding the president's travel ban. Robin said that they did not find it discriminatory. Robin said that Justice Sonia Sotomayor is blasting the judgment. She said that the ruling is telling that minority religions that they are outsiders of the political community with that ruling.
Robin read a story about how a judge has demanded that the children being separated from their parents have to be returned within 30 days. Robin said Trump ended the separation rules but the government has been slow in reuniting the children with their families.
Robin read a story about how Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar is claiming he can find any of the children separated in seconds on his computer. Robin said he claims he can reunite them at any time. Howard said there's one at Gary's house at least. That led to Fred playing Gary clearing his throat clips.
Robin read a story about protesters hounding republican leaders about the child separation policy. Robin had some audio of some people protesting Mitch McConnell the other night when he was leaving with his wife. IN the clip his wife was asking why they don't leave her husband alone. Robin had more audio of people yelling at them. Robin said she can't imagine what that must be like when people are screaming at you like that.
Robin read a story about how Mitt Romney is one step closer to being a senator. Robin had some audio of Mitt talking about bringing the values of Utah to the senate. Robin said he's back in politics and he's saying that America has to be strong but also be good.
Robin read a story about Ben Jealous running for governor of Maryland. She had some audio of him making a speech. Howard said that guy is on fire and charged up. Robin said he's interracial.
Robin read a story about how the Beach Boys are on the classical charts. Robin said they re-released their songs with orchestral music. Robin had some examples of that for Howard to play. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 11:00am.