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Howard started the show talking about how exciting all of this music is playing behind him. He said they have to do Super Bowl talk and masculine stuff. He said Robin was on a tweeting binge last night. He asked what was with her. Robin said She was just having fun with the game. Howard said her fun led to his curiosity. He said he has to read her one. He said it didn't sound like Robin. He was confused by this one.
Howard said the panel is in there to talk about all of this. He said he has a bunch of guys in there to talk about the Super Bowl. Howard said he turned off the game at 9. He said he laid in bed wondering why he was doing that. He yelled at himself to stay up and watch the rest of the game. He said he did that.
Howard said Robin wrote something about Justin Timberlake not being brave by not bringing out Janet Jackson. Robin said She was banned. Howard read some other tweets from Robin about the game. Gary said there was something about grabbing the momentum in this possession that sounded odd. Robin said that was all her. Howard said there was a lot. Howard asked if Robin was rooting for Philly or New England. Robin said by the end She was hoping the Eagles would win. Howard said he's not a fan of football and when he is it's because of the New York teams. He said he was thinking he went to Boston but he was like ''so what.'' He said Philly was their first syndicated market so he doesn't know. He said he didn't really give a shit.
Howard said the guy who is really fucked up is Richard. He said he looks a mess. Richard said he feels okay. Robin said he looks like he had a stroke. Howard said he was staring at him this morning. Richard said he got some sleep. Robin said his face is half asleep.
Howard said he should start his coverage of this with Richard. He figured out why he annoys him. He said he's a Chiefs fan. He said up until 3 weeks ago he was rooting for them. Howard said now he's rooting for the Eagles. He said he went to a bar where they are into Philadelphia. It's called Shorty's. Richard said it was all Eagles fans. Howard said Richard turns into this flaming asshole when he's there. He said he has that dog head on and all of that. Robin said he's like that spouse that becomes Jewish and is more Jewish than the Jewish spouse.
Howard said Richard was at the bar from noon to midnight. He said he has a kid now. Gary asked what that cost him. Richard said it was a couple hundred bucks. Richard said he took the paper there and sipped his beer. He said he sat by himself until his wife got there. Howard asked what the allure of drinking there is. Richard said it's just being around other Eagles fans.
Howard said he has tape of Richard at the bar. He said he was rooting for the Chiefs 3 weeks ago. Richard said he was just into it with his wife. Howard said you have to listen to this guy. He played some audio and Richard was yelling ''Oh my god!'' over and over. He was yelling ''Fuck you Giselle'' too. Howard said he can see an Eagles fan doing that but he's a Chiefs fan. He doesn't get it.
Howard asked how the kid is doing. Richard said he's fine. He said his mother in law was taking care of him.
Howard played more of Richard yelling at the bar. He was yelling about Tom Brady. Will said he loves that. Howard said Will has been a Philadelphia fan the whole time. Richard said he doesn't like Tom Brady because he beats the Chiefs too.
Howard said this is Richard at the bar. He said even the people there must be thinking about what an asshole he is. Howard played more of Richard yelling about the Patriots losing. Richard would not stop yelling.
Howard asked if he banged his wife last night. Richard said no because her mom is staying with them. Howard said they have a one bedroom so they can't do it. Richard said they slept in the living room since her mom had the bedroom. Howard asked how many beers he had in that 12 hours. Richard said maybe 12. Will said no way. Brent said no way too. He said he can't just drink one an hour. Richard said they're powerful so you can't drink them fast. Gary said 12 of those powerful ones are like 24 regular ones.
Howard said he should say that Richard went to Wing Bowl too. He said he got up at 3 in the morning to get there at 5. Richard said he didn't keep track of how much he drank there. Howard said Richard and his wife conceived their baby down there so they got the same room there. Howard said Richard is an odd dude. He said he's a Philly fan but not really a Philly fan. Richard said he supports his wife.
Howard said this is the Philly fans singing ''We are the Champions'' after the game. He had Richard screaming the song.
Howard asked who is listening to this. Richard said just him. Howard asked if he was holding on to other fans. Richard said he was holding his wife and She loved it.
Howard said Richard brought his Underdog mask to work with him. Richard said after the Eagles became the under dogs they got some through his wife's father. Richard said that everyone wanted to put it on after the game and they were all putting it on. Howard said Richard put it on after that too. Richard said he did. Howard said everyone is spitting in it and they're all sick. Richard said he didn't care.
Howard asked if Will is disgusted by this behavior. Will said he has been waiting for this for 35 years and it is kind of annoying. He can't imagine what he'll do if the Chiefs win. Richard said he'll eat his own shit if that happens. He said he'll blow Alex Smith even though he's not on the team anymore.
Howard asked if Memet watched it. Memet said he did but he wasn't that into it. Howard said he was into it. He said it was a great game. Howard said he heard that quarterback won't be the starter next season. He said he got them there.
Howard asked what happens next year to the guy Foles. Richard said they call him Big Dick Nick. Howard asked why that is. Richard said the rumor is that he has a big dick. He said he knows people who have seen him in the locker room. Howard asked if they went nuts when he caught that touchdown. The guys said they did. Howard said Belechick is a miserable guy.
Howard said he wrote down a lot of shit about the commercials. He said he can share that. He said he doesn't know about Richard. He said it's like a big excuse for him to be an alcoholic. Richard asked if Robin drank. Robin said She had some champagne. Howard asked if Robin went to a party. Robin said no. She said you can't go to a party when you do what they do. Robin said she'd have to leave during the game.
Howard said Gary was in Minnesota doing the Wrap Up Show. Gary said they did that on Friday. He said they had a bunch of shows on in the Mall of America. Gary said they had the Kraft family on and they had Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg on. Gary said they had Mad Dog Russo on talking about how he got into a fight with some guy. Gary said Mad Dog asked David Dead to come on his show and he said he didn't want to do it. He said Mad Dog got upset that he was there and didn't do the show. He said he trashed the guy and they had it out when they saw each other in a restaurant. Gary said they had Chris Carlin on and he was fighting with Mad Dog too.
Howard said they had a radio row going on. He said he had an idea many years ago to do that for award shows. Howard said he wanted to get celebrities on the show and he would go to the red carpets and carry a tape machine to ask stupid questions. He said he eventually turned that over to Gary and then Stuttering John. Howard said now you see that going on all the time.
Robin said they also got bands performing on the show acoustically. Howard said he's getting to that. Howard said some jackass turned that interview thing into a business. He said they were in a room by themselves one year and the next year they created Radio Row and every radio station was there. Howard said he said fuck this after that. Gary said what sucked about it was that by the third year there were like 25 other stations. He said the only reason they came was to talk to them and then they had to go talk to every other station. Gary said Sirius is so big now that they don't even have to be in radio row. Jon Hein said that they were in the food court at the Mall of America.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Mad Dog Russo impression talking about David Deal. Sour was talking about the stuff Mad Dog was talking about on the Wrap Up Show. Howard had him do his Mike Francesa impression too. Sour had music playing behind him the whole time he was doing the impressions.
Howard said he liked that Prince's family wouldn't want that Hologram. He said he doesn't get why they have to hear from the sister about that.
Gary said there was one moment when Mad Dog was talking about Chris Carlin saying that he wouldn't have a job without him. He said it got ugly for a minute. Sour Shoes was doing more of his Mad Dog impression talking about that. He did his Mike Francesa too.
Howard said he has to go. Gary said Sour has ''Philadelphia Freedom'' playing in the background. Howard said he did notice that. Sour went into his Richard Simmons impression talking about the commercials. Howard said Justin Timberlake can really dance. He said he was dancing around a lot. He said it's like one of those Cher videos when She danced around.
Howard said he heard George Takei loved the dancing. Sour went into his impression of George talking about that. Howard let Sour go after that.
Howard said he can't believe that Pizza Hut can afford to buy a commercial. He said that is the shittiest pizza on the planet. He said he can't believe that the local pizzeria doesn't make better pizza than that. Brent said they do in Tampa. He said you can get better pizza there. Howard said the point is that Pizza Hut pizza looks like bread with cheese and ketchup on it. He said the family is like ''This is so good.'' He said you have to drown out the flavor of that. Jon said it's not that bad. He said it's huge in the mid west. Richard said they had them in Kansas too. Howard asked if they had regular pizzerias. Richard said not really. Howard said you can get pancakes and stuff. Richard said not waffles. He said not out where he lived. Howard asked what the big city is. Richard said Fort Scott. He said there weren't any big things like that. He said the Pizza Hut buffet is the place to be out there.
Richard said they went one time to Pizza Hut and this woman disappeared for 20 minutes and then loaded up with more pizza. Howard asked if his mom ever made raccoon pizza. Richard said they would make Chili with that raccoon. He said they didn't use it for pizza. Howard said it's quite amazing that he's like Ellie May.
Jason said that he looked up Fort Scott Kansas. He said they have Dominos and Pizza Hut. He said they also have Gas Station pizza. Richard said his dad got sick from the Gas Station pizza once. Howard said it must be nasty.
Ronnie asked if they have frozen pizza. Richard said they have that. Richard said his dad ate at like 5 different hot dog carts when he visited the city. He said he ended up getting sick from that too.
Howard said that Carrie Underwood had some nice thin legs. He said that She looked good. Memet said they say that She had 40 stitches and She doesn't look the same but She looked the same. Howard said her song was terrible.
Howard said there was a movie coming out on Netflix that he will watch called Red Sparrow. He said that's another movie about a woman who can kick anyone's ass. He said all of these women are hot in it. He said you know it's going to be this woman who doesn't know how She became a spy and She can kick anyone's ass. He said She should look like that Rhoda Rousey.
Gary asked if he notice that there was nothing to do with sex during the game. Howard said he did see that. He said Justin took a selfie with that kid in the audience. He said he should have been in a wheelchair to show that he was sick. He said he looked too healthy. Howard said if he's a sick kid he should look more like it. Ronnie said that the segment producer her was Harv. Howard said he worked at America's Got Talent. He said no one knows who that is. Ronnie said he was just asking if he ''sawr'' him there. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Ronnie saying ''sawr.''
Howard said Ronnie tested him on Saturday morning and said he won his bet. Howard said he asked how he knew that. Howard said Ronnie told him he was going to do a Prince Tribute. Howard said he told him it had to be Purple Rain. He said he didn't win the NSYNC thing either. Howard said he thought that was a lock. He said the guys from the band were there.
Jon said he could have won the bet about Pink coming in under 2 minutes with the National anthem. Howard said She just went out and did the song even though She was sick. Gary said people got upset that She spit out a lozenge right before She sang. Howard said people were all upset about the car company that used Martin Luther King in a commercial. Howard said at least he got some exposure. Howard said he knew everyone was going to get upset about that.
Howard said it may have exposed King to some people. Gary said it's odd that he's selling Ram trucks with that. Howard said that you can't win these days. Howard said it's a good thing. He said no one gets excited about it. Gary said the family licensed that audio. Howard said it's driving him crazy that Prince's sister is the gatekeeper of his stuff. Howard said he wasn't happy with what they did with Prince. He said he should be the keeper. Robin said it was a very boring half time performance and you bring out other people to enliven the situation. Robin said the only person who could make it something good was a dead Prince.
Howard said he likes that hologram thing. He said he would love to do that with some radio guys. He said he'd use Marconi and maybe the Three Stooges.
Howard said they had some audio issues there on the Super Bowl. He said this guy Leslie Odom Jr. performed ''America the Beautiful'' and the guy had some white kids singing with him. He said the choir wasn't mic'd. He said that was a piss poor performance. Howard said that guy who sang was good though. He said he likes a more masculine sound but he was good. He said he's singing it kind of in a feminine way. Robin said he is a Broadway performer. Howard said he gets it now. He said the choir wasn't mic'd so it was kind of weird.
Howard said he mentioned Pink so here's her performance. He played her singing the national anthem. Howard said people got upset about her spitting out that lozenge. He said there are people puking in the audience. Robin said the fans burned down Philly after the game. Richard said there was a guy eating horse shit in the streets. Richard said he would buy that guy a beer after that. Brent said some guy stole an ostrich from the zoo after the game. Will said that's the best. He said the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Howard had Will lead the chant for the Eagles. Richard did it with him. Howard said it bothers him that Richard is into it. Jon said he's a Chiefs fan and he can't be doing that chant. Richard said he loves his wife and he's supporting her. Gary said he's becoming a fan though. Richard said he has become a fan. He said he won't abandon the Chiefs though.
Howard asked if it bothers Will. Will said he can't be that picky about who is an Eagles fan there. Howard said he read that the fans stole two police horses. He asked how that happens. Robin said She heard a reporter saying they used super human strength to upend a car. Robin said it doesn't take that much strength to do that with 20 guys flipping over a car.
Howard asked Richard about Wing Bowl and how that was. Richard said it wasn't all that crazy. Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were doing an Eagles fan thing where they were rioting in the streets of Philly. They were chanting and wanting some guy to fuck a horse. They were beheading a homeless guy and things like that too. They were chanting ''Fuck Tom Brady'' and then gun shots were going off.
Howard asked if Richard is going to the parade. Richard said his wife is going but he has to see if he can go. Howard said it's Wednesday morning. Richard said he'll go meet her for dinner or something. Jason said that Will was putting his kids to bed when Nick Foles made that touchdown. HE's a real dad. Howard said Richard is talking about going to the parade when he's supposed to be working. Gary asked how he'll be at work on Thursday. Richard said he can take the train back.
Howard said he wrote down some other stuff about the commercials. He said there was a lot of JJ Abrams movie stuff. He said that the screen went black and that was supposed to be a SiriusXM commercial.
Howard said that he had a thought that Bill Belechick works harder than the President. Gary said he does. Howard said Trump is always on vacation and golfing. He said Bill is always working. Brent said he is always thinking about football.
Howard said he thought the Artificial Intelligence commercial or Sprint was good. He said that the Artificial Intelligence was laughing at the guy for using Verizon. Howard said AI has a lot to learn. He said that caught his attention though. He said he liked that. He said even the ad with the dwarf dude in it wasn't all that great. He said he wasn't sure what it was for. He said it might have been for Doritos. Jon said they were going for the fire and ice thing from Game of Thrones. Howard said that was lost on him.
Howard said he was so happy for that guy from Stranger Things getting the Tide campaign. Howard said he must have gotten paid a lot for that. Gary said he would think it's more than a million. Jon said his name is David Harbour. Howard did his Millie Bobby Brown agent impression after that.
Howard said he was thinking about Robin and if She was thinking about Peter Dinklage during that commercial. Richard said they say that they can have big cocks. Robin said She does like him. Howard said he knows what Robin is thinking about him fucking her. He said she's on all fours and he is standing behind her fucking her. Howard said She ends up holding his head and his feet are dangling and then She gets on all fours and he stands up and sticks his dick in her. Robin said She hasn't imagined any of that. Howard said he thinks of him going down on her while she's standing.
Ronnie said ''And I'm a weirdo... '' while Howard was talking about that. Howard said Ronnie is a weirdo. He said he's doing a radio show. He told him to go talk to Harv. Howard did his impression of Ronnie telling him about Harv.
Howard said the ''Solo'' movie kind of interested him. He noticed Memet staring at him so he asked what's up with him. Memet said he's not even into football. Howard said he's there for the Benjy thing but they're never going to get to that.
Howard said Ronnie must have seen a lot of weird shit at America's Got Talent. Ronnie said he did with Howie and the girls. Howard asked what he saw. Ronnie said he saw girls running around in their robes with no makeup on. Howard said he heard She might get kicked off America's Got Talent this season. He said he would bet money that it will never happen though. He said they talked about getting rid of every eon but him. He said he'd show up and everyone was there. Howard said NBC can't get jack shit for those chairs. He said they don't need big names. He said they do fine with who they have.
Howard said he got annoyed with Heidi when he saw her in New York and not with her kids. He said She looks good though. Howard said they were talking about replacing Mel B with Queen Latifah. Howard said they're not getting rid of Mel B though. Ronnie said She was in great shape that last season Howard was there. Howard said She will put on some weight and then go on a rapid diet. Howard said She gets skinny. Ronnie said She has those big, giant boobs too. Howard told him to calm down.
Howard said there was an excellent article about why quarterbacks say ''hut.'' He said no one really knows. They interviewed a bunch of guys and they thought maybe it was a take on ''hike'' and it became ''hut.'' Fred did his Ronnie impression and said they used to use ''cunt!''
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was watching the game last night and he had his son in. He said he thought he saw Kevin Hart trying to get up on the podium and security was keeping from getting up there. Will said he saw that and he should have just stayed away from it. Gary said he was obviously drunk. Will said it's the team's time, not his. Howard said a lot of celebrities have a hard time just sitting back. Gary said he didn't see Bradley Cooper doing that. Robin said he was yelling though.
Howard had some audio of Kevin Hart interrupting an interview and talking about how lucky they were to have this guy as a part of the team. Kevin said he was drinking and he was on cloud 9. He ended up cursing so they had to cut him off.
Howard said that Bradley Cooper is just as big a fan as Will is. Gary said he's legit though. He said he's been an Eagles fan his whole life.
Howard said he can't believe that the J-Lo and A-Rod thing is still going on. Howard said they can't really like each other. He said it must satisfy their attention seeking. He said he'd think you fuck J-Lo for a year and move on. Jon said J-Lo was shooting a show and A-Rod was on the floor below her. He said he seems to be really into her. Howard said just a few years ago Cameron Diaz was feeding him popcorn on camera. He said he doesn't give that much more time. He said his name is literally Rod. He said guys get excited about J-Lo. He said She wasn't even able to hold on to Marc Anthony. Brent said Marc must be getting a lot of chicks. Howard said he doesn't even sing in English. He said he could fuck the entire world of Spanish women though. Howard asked if he has more than one hit. Gary said he thinks he does. He mentioned a song but that was the hit song Howard was thinking of. Howard said all of those songs sound the same to him.
Howard and the guys were doing their impressions of Ronnie talking about Harv from America's Got Talent. Howard said he hates Jurassic Park. He said he realized that when he watched the commercials. He said that Steven Tyler going back in time was kind of cool. He said that was great. Richard said he likes Jurassic Park. Robin said She has seen all of them and She loves them. Howard said he hates them all.
Howard said he has no desire to see the movie and he doesn't care about Jeff Goldblum. He said that's all you see him in. Jason said he was in the last Thor movie. Howard said the CGI doesn't turn him on with the dinosaurs. He said Gary's teeth look more real.
Gary said that Chris Pratt commercial series was weird. Howard said he didn't get that either. Howard said he has to take a break. He said it's 8:15 and he hasn't taken a break yet. He said he thinks it's funny that they're not getting to the Benjy tribute.
Howard said he got a big phone call at home. He said he got a call from John Lodge from the Moody Blues. He said he was thinking about them and he likes the band a lot. He said he thinks they were doing their thing before the Beatles. He said he should talk about this after the break. He said this is going to get him riled up. He said he has to get to the Benjy thing too even though no one is looking for that. The guys said that Benjy is.
Howard said he thinks the Moody Blues were doing their thing before the Sgt. Peppers album came out. He said that maybe the Beatles heard of them before that. He said he has to get to that after the break. He said he has to get to Wolfie at the Wing Bowl too.
Howard said Memet can stare at him more later. He asked if he has some thoughts on the commercials. Memet said he does but he's keeping his thoughts to himself. He was supposed to be in there for the Benjy thing. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said John said he wishes he was inducting them. He said that he is going to be inducting Jon Bon Jovi. Howard said he offered to induct them too. Richard asked if he's sticking around to watch them get inducted too. Howard said no way. He said he's going to get out of there so he can go to bed. Howard said he just wants to induct Bon Jovi and leave.
Howard said Trump is right about fake news. He said he gets misquoted about what he says. He said in a Cleveland newspaper they wrote about him. He said this Victoria Miller is saying that he ''slams Cleveland'' in what he said last week. Howard said he wants a retraction for this article. He said She writes for The Inquisitor. He said that they just make up shit. Howard said you have to have some integrity. He said at least get it straight.
Howard read the article where he's called a shock jock even though everyone in the country is doing what he's doing. He asked what he's saying that is so fucking shocking.
Howard read more of the article and She said he was trashing Cleveland. Howard said he's not trashing Cleveland. Howard said he enjoyed being there when he visited. He said what he did say, Victoria Miller, is that he doesn't want to leave New York. He said he doesn't like going anywhere. He said it has nothing to do with it being Cleveland. He said what a dummy. He said he couldn't have been clearer. He said he wants her credentials. He wants to know what journalism school She went to. Jason said he's looking her up and she's a freelancer. Howard said She doesn't get paid then. Jason said that's not even a news organization. He said it's basically a blog. Howard said She doesn't know what she's saying. Howard said this shows up in his Google alerts and he was getting steamed. He said he wanted to cancel the whole hall of fame thing. He said they should have Victoria Miller induct them.
Howard said he's not the only one who doesn't want to go there. He said it's a complete misrepresentation about him. He said he doesn't like traveling. He said he has no problem with Cleveland. He said this is fake news.
Howard said he's with trump on this. Richard said Howard doesn't even like going to Brooklyn to do Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said that's right. He said he has had famous people invite him to Bali and he won't go there. He said he's not sitting on a plane for 12 hours. He said he hates going to France though. He said he really doesn't like that country.
Howard said the America's Got Talent people wanted him to do the show and he refused to travel so they changed the whole show for him. He said he doesn't like to travel. He said he wanted people to come to New York instead of California. He said that's it. He asked what's so hard to understand.
Howard said this Victoria Miller has 369 followers on twitter. He said that Ronnie has how many? Ronnie said he has 165,000. Howard said he doesn't hate Cleveland. He said he's a misery wherever he is. Jason said She was contradicting herself in the article saying that he didn't disparage the people of Cleveland when he was talking about this hall of fame thing.
Gary mentioned Jethro Tull and Howard asked if they're in the hall of fame. Gary said no. Howard said he can't believe that. He did some riffing with Fred using the Jethro Tull ''Aqualung'' riff. Howard was talking about this Victoria Miller and other things with that riff.
Howard had the other guys doing the riff thing too. He had Will complaining about Richard not being an Eagles fan. He had Memet singing about how he's not saying anything. Howard said when he runs out of the room crying it's great. Memet sang about how he didn't cry that hard.
Gary said that Brent has not let one day go by complaining about how he hasn't voted for Judas Priest. Richard said he thinks they've influenced more bands than Jethro Tull. Howard said no fucking way. Howard had everyone answering with the Aqualung riff.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his John Lodge from the Moody Blues impression. Howard said what an honor to have him singing. Howard said he's the Moody Shoes. Sour laughed. Howard said they have to take another break.
Howard said there was an odd ad during the Super Bowl. He said it was an ad for people to visit Turkey. Howard said he didn't know Dr. Oz was Turkish. Howard said his name is Mehmet and he pronounces it different than Memet. Memet said he says it wrong. Howard said he never knows what to say to him so he just says ''hey man.''
Howard asked if Turkey is at war with Syria. Brent had his answer. He went into an explanation for what's going on there. Fred played his election commercial music while Brent was explaining the war.
Howard said he's glad that hall of fame isn't in Turkey. He said he wouldn't be going there. Howard and Brent spent a little more time talking about that war thing.
Howard said there's so much going on in the world. He said he should have those survival kits that Pat Robertson sells. He mentioned that Pat had a stroke and ended up doing an impression of him. Gary said he thought he had said that strokes were punishment from God. Howard said he'll have some explanation for that. He said that's not a punishment, it was a mistake. Richard said it was Satan.
Howard said that was an odd commercial for Dr. Oz to be doing. Jason asked why they were even on the Super Bowl. Howard said his parents used to travel and his mom went to Turkey. He said She got this ugly leather coat over there. He said it was green. He said they'd go away while he was at summer camp. Gary said that last year Tobacco used their budget for one commercial. He said this year it was Avocados. Howard said he doesn't get that. Gary said there was a commercial about car insurance and how they said something about cheating in the game and how you become MVP.
Memet said there was a commercial with babies in it and that was weird. Howard said he didn't know what that was about. He said if you don't remember what it was about then it's pointless. Howard said he thinks some of those kids looked like they might be dumb. He said they won't be as successful as the smart ones. He said one is going to go to Harvard and one will go to Gary's school, Adelphi.
Howard said he loves the show ''This is Us'' but the commercials look really depressing. Howard said they let you know how the father dies on the show. He said it's in a fire. He said he and his wife watch that show together. He said he has to watch it with her.
Howard said he has audio of a TV station trying to interview some Eagles fans. Howard played the clip and it was unintelligible yelling. Robin said imagine you get that assignment.
Howard had another clip of some interviews in the locker room and they kept getting the guys cursing so the news anchors had to keep apologizing for that. Brent asked if Howard thinks anyone calls the FCC about that. Howard said yes because people are assholes. He said they get upset about Martin Luther King being used in a commercial.
Howard had another clip of a Philly fan running in front of a FOX News camera and said ''shit.'' Howard said TV has figured out everything but how to bleep out a curse. The news anchor apologized for that word coming out on the air.
Howard said someone wore a Tom Brady shirt to Wing Bowl. He said people would curse him and pour beer on him. Will said he wanted to send Nowicki down there wearing that shirt. Howard played some audio of the fans yelling at the guy to get out of the Wing Bowl with that shirt. They started chanting ''Fuck Tom Brady'' too.
Howard said he has some police scanner audio from Philly from last night. Howard played that and they had a lot of screaming fans out there. There was one cop saying that there was a fire and he needed a fire extinguisher. The fans were trying to pull lamp posts down. There was a lot of crazy stuff going on. Fans were throwing stuff and trying to rip down poles.
Howard did an impression of the scanner and came up with more crazy stuff. Howard was saying he needed tear gas. Howard had a guy eating horse shit dipped in piss and things like that.
Howard said that's pretty wild. Wolfie said some fans pulled a mannequin from a window after breaking into a store. Howard said he just saw Harv.
Howard said here's what Wolfie witnessed last night. He had some audio of a fan yelling about Tom Brady and the Patriots. Howard let that clip play for a minute. Wolfie said that guy was happy.
Howard said this is another Eagles fan. He played the clip and the guy was yelling about fuck everyone who isn't from Philly. He said that any Patriots fan might get killed there. Richard wondered if that guy made it to work today. He said Wolfie must have been covered in spit after that.
Howard played another clip of an Eagles fan going off on Tom Brady and saying fuck the Patriots. Howard jokingly said that's the governor of Pennsylvania.
Howard asked how this Big Dick Nick thing got out. Richard said people have seen it in the locker room. Howard said he wishes someone had been able to say that about his penis. He said he'd be Shrimp Dick Howard.
Jason said he's reading about Nick and how women were afraid to fuck him because his penis is so big. He said that they say he had to fold his cock to put it in his cup. Gary said he's been known as Big Dick Nick since college. Robin said his wife seemed okay. Richard said they didn't show her walking though.
Howard said he wishes he had that problem where you can't get your whole cock in there. He said he has yet to meet a woman who can't accommodate him. He said he can't imagine what that would be like to have a massive cock. Richard said maybe he'll come on there and show it. Howard said not if he's a religious guy.
Howard said this is a drunk, racist fan covering some topics. Howard played the clip and the guy was talking about how he'd blow the guys on the Eagles. He was also using the N-word but not about black people. He was using it to call other white guys that name. Wolfie said he looked over his shoulder before he said it. He said it was cool. Richard said that guy offered to blow Wolfie. Howard played another clip of that guy talking about how racist he is. He said he used to fight a lot of interracial people. He also said his favorite racist word was ''ginder'' but Howard didn't know what that meant. He later found out it was a derogatory word for Indian people.
Memet said that it sounds like the fans are angry that they won. Richard said this was revenge so they're angry at Tom Brady. Gary asked if Richard thinks Tom Brady gives a shit. Richard said no.
Howard played more of that fan talking about how the city won't survive after this win. He also cursed out the Patriots.
Howard said that guy is the town scholar. Will said he loves it. Howard said he is one of those guys. Will said he was. Jason was at Will's house last night and his kid was acting up so Will was telling him to calm down. Howard said he has to get with it and just get with it and have them be New York fans. Memet said that Tom Brady seems to come off as a huge douche. He said he's asking for people to give him shit. Howard said Joe Namath did the same thing. Will agreed that he looked like a douche. Howard said he would hate to be on New England because Tom Brady gets the credit all the time. Howard said he thought they did okay when he was out.
Howard said it sounds like Memet is jealous of Tom Brady. Memet said he's not. He said he looks like his wife is dressing him. Howard said he doesn't get all of the hate for the guy. He said if he was on the Eagles will would be cheering him on. Will said he cheers on his team so he would.
Howard said this is a song about the Eagles. He played the song parody about the Wing Bowl and the Eagles.
Howard asked if they have covered everything about the Super Bowl. He said they've spent 2 1/2 hours on this. He said they talked about the commercials too. Howard said they may have run out of time for the Benjy tribute. Jason and Gary said they need more than a half hour. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he thinks they've covered it all.
Will said he and Richard want to sing the Eagles song. They both did it together. Jason said he hates this. Howard said he doesn't mind when Will does it but it bothers him when Richard does. The guys said that Richard is a fan of everything. Howard said he doesn't mind Will doing it but Richard is singing about the Eagles flying.
Howard asked Richard to pick his favorite horror film. Richard named about a dozen. He can't pick just one.
Howard took a call from Apples who asked if he heard Al Michaels fart last night. Howard said he heard that a lot of people thought it was a fart. Howard said this is Al calling the game and he may have cut some wind. He said some people say it's his chair. Howard played the clip and it did sound like a fart. Howard said that did sound like a fart. Ronnie said that's no chair. Jason said JD was so protective of Al that he didn't want to play it for Howard. JD said just because you have a microphone doesn't mean you have to talk. Jason said he didn't pull the clip until after the fact. JD said he thought it was him shifting in his chair. Howard told him to reenact that in his chair. JD said he's not sure what kind of chairs they had.
Howard said Chris Collinsworth didn't seem to be a Philly fan. He said twice he said that it wasn't a touchdown. Howard said he must not like the team. Will said it did come off like he wasn't a fan.
Ralph called in and asked if he saw Tom Brady making out with his son. Howard said he just kissed him on the lips. Ralph said that the kid kissed him and he called the kid back and made out with him for like 30 seconds. Howard said he's not sure why he's putting his life out there like that. He said he has money so he doesn't have to do that. Howard said if he had a son he wouldn't kiss him on the lips. Memet said there's a collage of the Brady family kissing on the lips. He said there's something weird going on there. Howard said he and his dad kiss on the cheek. He said his dad never kissed him on the lips. He said that would be weird.
Jason said it was weird that he got a kiss but then called him back for more. Brent asked why Tom Brady would put himself through this.
Howard said the strangest thing he saw in the paper this morning was about Kylie Jenner giving birth to a baby. He read the article about how She apologized for keeping her fans in the dark about the baby. She said her pregnancy was one She chose not to do in front of the world. Howard said they do everything in front of the world. Howard said one kid had some common sense there. Howard said that the mother is masterminding the kids. He said that this Kylie didn't want to do it in front of the fans.
Howard said he was defending the guy who commented on Tom Brady's kid and he doesn't get why Tom Brady is putting it out there. He said he doesn't have to do that shit. Robin said he's not making as much money as his wife so maybe that's it.
Ralph said he thinks Tom is setting himself up for something after football. Howard said he doesn't need it though. He has money. He said he doesn't need to have that stuff out there.
Howard said he doesn't care if the guy kisses his kid on the lips. He said he's just not sure why he needs it out there. Ralph said it was the amount of time he spent on the kiss that was weird.
Robin read about how Nick Foles' wife is an athlete too. Howard said George Takei is a big fan of Big Dick Nick too. Howard took another call from Sour Shoes who was doing his George Takei impression talking about Big Dick Nick. He said he and Brad had a whole party at their house. Sour George was talking about how he thinks he saw a big pubic hair on Justin Timberlake. Howard said that show was like a Broadway play. He said it sounds like they had a wild Sunday. Howard spent a little more time talking to Sour George before letting him go. Howard let Ralph and George go.
Howard said that's enough Super Bowl. He said he gave 2 hours and 40 minutes of that. He said he made copious notes about the game. He said he didn't know how much he hated the dinosaur movies. Robin said that just suddenly occurred to him. Howard said he's not sure why they'd bring back dinosaurs. He said they're shocked every movie when they get eaten. He said it never turns out well. He said people bring children there an it's the dumbest premise. Howard said Jeff Goldblum is always shocked. Jason said he's the one saying that they're idiots for bringing them back.
Howard said he hates every Jurassic Park movie. Richard said he loves any monster movie. Howard said no one ever wanted to bring back Godzilla or Rodan.
Gary said it was like -8 degrees there. He said it was really bad outside. Gary said they were in the mall at the restaurant and the food was good. Howard asked if there were a lot of fat people there. Gary said there were. He said they were in scooters that wheel around. Gary said there's an amusement park in the middle of the mall. He said they were at the dinner and the roller coaster was going by and it was so loud that you can't hear anything. Howard asked if everything was fried out there. Gary said they had a lot of fried food.
Howard said Pizza Hut is terrible. Memet said he's being a snob about it. He said he guarantees Robin and Howard couldn't tell the difference. Howard said he's on with that bet. Memet said that they're all out of touch. He said Pizza Hut is just as good as fresh pizza there in the city. Howard said he can pick it out. Jon Hein said he doesn't mind Pizza Hut but it's not even close to fresh New York Pizza.
Howard said Pizza Hut is bullshit. He said he doesn't believe they have enough money to buy an ad on the Super Bowl. Jason said that is fast food pizza. He said it's not the same.
Memet said he wants to bring it in and have them rate it. He said that he thinks they'd like it more than a New York pizza. Howard said he'll do that too. He said bring it in.
Howard said he was watching the Wrap Up Show on Facebook live. He said that people were commenting on how he sucks and bring back Artie and bring back Jackie and things. Howard said he tried to avert his eyes. He said then Gary said the strangest thing. He said he called Donnie ''Mark'' to Jenny. Gary said he did fuck up. Howard asked if Jon heard it. Jon said he did. He said Jenny was telling a story and pointed it out. Howard said Donnie has done the show and he must get called Mark all the time. He said that he has his own career and he's on a TV show that's successful. He said there's Gary calling him Mark. Howard asked how he did it. Gary said he did it in an email. Howard said ''Oh!'' Jason said that Gary also double booked Jenny McCarthy and Jewel on the show at the same time.
Jason said that they had a guy who wanted to work on the show and his last name was Perez. He said that Gary was writing a letter to Perez Hilton asking him to do something for the show and he sent it to the wrong guy. Gary said he had two Perez's in his computer and it went to the wrong person. Howard said today is the 5 year anniversary of Gary booking Jenny and Jewel on the show.
Howard played a song parody about Gary from Little Mikey. Gary said he doesn't mind that one. He said it's just goofy.
Jon said the Mall of America was pretty great. They went to eat at Hooters. They were allowed to record there so that's why they went there. Brent said they have their own police force in the mall so they weren't just allowed to walk around recording. Jon said they did have nice restaurants there too. He said you see multiple stores in there.
Howard asked Jon about the mall and seeing every fast food franchise there. Jon said he went to A&W to eat breakfast. He said nothing else was open. He said that they used to have stores there but no longer. Howard asked Jon what he discovered out there about fast food. Jon said there weren't a lot of regional places in there. Jon was talking about how many great places they had in there. He said the mall is so big they have 6 ''Lids'' stores in there. He said he went into one and took a picture and sent out a Tweet and the mall wrote back about how they love him too.
Howard said he's never seen Jon so excited about something. Jon said it was great because all of the restaurants were right there. Howard asked Jon when he woke up. Jon said he was up at 8. He said only a few stores were open. He said he had a small root beer float. He said he did walk around a lot though. He said he went to Dairy Queen too for a Blizzard. Howard said he started out with a root beer float at 8am and then what. Jon said they met Brent at Hooters later.
Howard asked Jon if he can control how much he eats. Jon said he had 10-12 wings. Howard asked if he weighed himself after that. Jon said he did not. Richard asked if he shit out there at the mall. Jon said he did at the hotel. He said it was pretty solid too.
Howard asked Jason if he's jealous. Jason said he is kind of. Howard asked if the food was better out there. Jon said it's pretty standard around the country. Brent said the place looks sterile and clean. Howard said he wouldn't want to go anywhere there aren't police. Brent said there were plenty of police there. He said they had a cop with an AR-15 there.
Gary said they had a flume ride in there. He said you can get wet doing that. Jon said they have two hotels attached to the mall but they weren't in there. Jon said that's where the players were staying so they were booked.
Howard said Jon goes to Hooters and has wings. Jon said that was lunch. He said he stopped in and had an Oreo Blizzard later at Dairy Queen. He said he had a medium instead of a large. Jon said he knew he had to walk around the mall a lot. Howard asked Jon about what's in the Blizzard. Jon said it was ice cream with Oreos crushed in it. Howard said he has vegan ice cream called Vice Cream. He said it doesn't have sugar in it. He said they made this with bananas, peanut butter and coconut oil. He said it's fucking awesome. He said these guys would think it wasn't that great.
Gary asked Howard to guess how many calories are in a Blizzard. Howard guessed that it was 750 calories. Gary said it's 780 in a medium. He had Howard guess how many grams of fat are in it. Howard said he'll say 49 percent. Gary said it's 29 grams of fat. Howard asked Jon if he has high cholesterol. Jon said it's actually shockingly low. He said they went out for a nice dinner that night. He said he had steak. He said he just had one dinner and a brownie desert.
Howard said he has Jon Hein on the phone. He took the call and the guys in the back were playing clips from Jon's ''Fast Food Maniac: From Arby's to White Castle, One Man's Supersized Obsession with America's Favorite Food'' audio book. They had him going on and on about food. The guys had Jon rambling and giving his orders at restaurants. Jon said the audio book is still available by the way.
Brent said that Jon will eat his burger with nothing on it. Howard said Jon will stand at the cashier and not let anyone order until he gets his burger. Jon said the best part of that is that they're making it fresh. Robin said it's frozen and not fresh. Howard said when Jon throws that order out there they have no time to shit on the food. Jason said if they have a chef back there doing that they're going to fuck with the special order.
Howard asked Jon if he's going to have to get an arm or leg taken off some day. Jon said he hopes not. He said he monitors his glucose levels carefully. Howard said he should break. He said they got to nothing but Super Bowl and nonsense.
Richard asked if Gary stuck to his diet out there. Gary said he did. He said he's on the 30 for 30 diet. Gary said he's down by about 10 pounds in a month. Howard said that doesn't seem lie that much. Gary said it's pretty good for a month. Gary said he's not eating sugar or chocolate. Howard said he heard Gary's breath has been bad during this diet. Gary said he'll fix it if it's bad. He said just say something to him. He said he wasn't aware of it. Howard said he's not sure how he can not be aware. Robin said they say it in the book that you will have bad breath. Gary said he has been keeping a close eye on his weight.
Memet said that Gary claims he's a runner. Gary said he is a runner. He said he could out run Memet. Memet said he runs 6 miles 3 times a week. Gary said he might beat him then. Memet said that he's an 8 minute mile guy. Howard said Memet is a good runner, he remembers when he ran out of the studio. He said he thought he jumped out a window. Gary said just wait until he's his age because he won't be able to stay in shape. Memet said he won't have breasts. Gary said he also won't have a job.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he is diabetic and he lost his eye sight and a toe. Ronnie said his uncle lost his eye and a hand. The caller said that he can't even read Braille because he can't feel anything. Jon said he gets tested all the time. Howard said it has to be tough. Jon said it is a pain in the ass. The caller said if you're told you're a diabetic you have to stop doing what you did the day before. He said he was like ''Fuck you diabetes.'' Howard said what if Jon is just a head and a torso in 3 years. Jason said just keep eating, what's a couple of toes. The caller said that his eyesight is everything. He said if he had a choice he'd take his legs off before his eyesight.
Howard said he's shocked that they haven't come out with something for eye sight. The caller said they can't do anything with the optic nerves. He said he just tried on a pair of $10,000 glasses that didn't do shit for him. Jon said he has been eating better lately. Howard said maybe he has a secret death wish. Howard asked Jon what he would want to lose if he had to. Jon said a toe. Howard asked which toe. Jon said he would lose the big toes. Richard said Jon doesn't jerk off so he doesn't need his cock.
Howard asked Robin if She would rather fuck Jon or Jason. Robin asked why he asks her those questions. Howard said she's the one woman there. He said She has to choose one. Robin said the world is going to end if it's up to her. Howard said She has to do it or she'll die. Robin said Jon has that reputation from college. Howard said he's behind so he has to move on. He did a live commercial read and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he was looking at Bryan Cranston's Twitter feed. He said he did kind of a Ringo thing. He read the tweet that Bryan put out about how he's not going to sign fan requested items anymore. He said he has done it for 18 years. He said he will do it in person but not through the mail. Howard said he's going to be sorry he said he'll do Selfies.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who is in the Philly area. Janks said he stayed inside last night. He said his neighbor has a Patriots sticker on his car and he came out this morning and the car was blown up. Howard said that you never put any message like that on your car. Janks said it was a nice car too. He said it was engulfed in flames this morning.
Robin started off with Super Bowl news. She had some news about the Eagles going to Disney World after their win.
Robin read a story about Justin Timberlake getting some negative feedback about the Prince tribute. Howard said no one knows what Prince would have said about that. He said the guy is dead. Robin said they also said that the two singers didn't get along. Robin said they say that Prince was very opinionated about performers. Howard said the guy is gone and at least someone is paying tribute to him. Howard did a live commercial read and took another break after that.
After the break they played a ''Club Tug'' bit and Weezer's ''Say It Ain't So'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said there are people around there who think they know what Prince wants. Howard said Prince doesn't want the lights on at the Super Bowl. That's what he wants. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said everyone is speaking for Prince and the tribute to him. Howard said people don't know shit. He said they turn to the sister. He said that Prince is dead so he appreciates the promotion. Robin said he's dead so he doesn't appreciate anything. Howard said he does approve of Eagles fans eating horse shit.
Howard said fuck you to anyone commenting on the Justin Timberlake Prince thing. He said that kid can dance. He said it was like a Broadway show. Robin said She was wondering if he has ever written a song that means anything.
Robin read a story about how its getting harder and harder to find CDs if you want to buy an album. Robin said a lot of people buy online. Robin said Best Buy is pulling CDs from their stores. Robin said they still had a huge music and DVD section. Howard said Prince hates CDs and Pizza Hut too. Robin said Target is threatening to pay record companies for their CDs unless customers buy them. Howard asked who has a CD player anymore. He said he goes online and streams. Robin asked where he streams it from. Howard said he gets it from a stream where he fishes for music. He said he has Spotify, Pandora and all of that. Robin said Apple is going to be the largest streaming music company. Howard said they blew it. He said they aren't winning. Robin read about how Spotify has 70 million subscribers. Robin said that Apple is about to take over in the U.S.
Robin read a story about 50 Cent finding out he had $7 million more than he knew. Robin said he ran a record promotion selling his album for Bitcoin and he wasn't watching it. Robin said that it was just sort of sitting with his accountant. Robin said he earned 700 Bitcoin from the sales of that album and because it has gone up so much in value that his bank balance was around $7.5 million. Howard said that never happens to him. Robin said this is the second time that has happened to him. She said he was an investor in Vitamin Water too. Howard said he made more from that than on his own music. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how John Stamos got married. She asked if Howard was there. Howard said he wasn't invited. He said his wife pointed that out to him. He said they don't hang out that much. He said that he's never even met this girlfriend. Howard said John knows where to find him. He said he wasn't fun for a lot of years while John was single. He said that John might have thought he wasn't that fun. He said he didn't get invited and he wouldn't have gone anyway. He said Beth said he wouldn't have gone. Howard said he doesn't go anywhere... except Cleveland.
Robin said they say that John's fiancee was robbed of $165,000 worth of jewelry. Robin said they were robbed in a room in a hotel. Howard said the Prince Hologram was at the wedding. He said he bets that the Beach Boys were there. Robin didn't have a list of people who were there. Howard asked if Harv was there.
Howard took another call from Sour Shoes who was doing a Prince impression and singing a song for him. He did a Medicated Pete impression singing Prince too. Howard said he thinks he ran out of material.
Robin said she's sorry that they're no longer friends with John. Howard said he thought that Ralph would be invited. He said John used to come to his house. He said maybe he wanted a clean slate and didn't want to invite him. Howard said maybe he was just being nice and didn't want to ask for a gift. Howard said maybe he was being considerate. He said John is going to be a dad and he has a new wife. Robin said Howard isn't involved either. Howard said that the wife is super hot like Adam Levine's Behati. He said even pregnant the wife looks hot. He said that John must not be letting her gain weight. Howard said he wants to get the guest list for the wedding. Robin had more details about the wedding but not the guest list. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said that John may not have had any famous people at his wedding. Howard said that's a move. He asked if John was at his wedding. Robin said She thinks so. Howard said he was. He said how dare he. Howard said he's actually grateful he wasn't invited. He said that's the best gift ever. Howard said he doesn't have to go to California. Howard said John played drums at his wedding. Robin said that was late. Howard said imagine if he left his own wedding. He said he likes being home. Robin said She doesn't see a list of celebs so maybe he did that thing. Howard said that's the move.
Robin read a story about a man in north Carolina who had a child with his daughter. Robin said this is a daughter he gave away for adoption. Robin said She came back to find her biological parents and the father married her mother and they had more kids. Howard said he's confused. Robin said this girl was adopted out. her father went on with his life and had children. Then She looked for her biological parents and met her dad, moved into the house and his marriage fell apart. Then the wife says he was sleeping on the floor of the daughter's room by the time She moved out. Robin said then the younger children were still visiting. The kids were telling the ex wife that he was telling them to call their step sister their step mom. Howard said that would be like if he was given up at birth and he goes looking for his mother and he meets her and ends up having sex with her. Howard was doing impressions of his mom and dad and having sex with them. Robin said this girl also had the guy's baby. Fred played a Jackie laugh. Robin said this guy is in jail now. Howard said the show should adopt that baby. He said it must be Wack Pack material. Robin said the woman he divorced was the girl's mother. Howard said Robin has the gall to complain about her father.
Robin read a story about how many states in the United States don't have clear regulation on how old you have to be to get married. Howard said it's 14 in some states. Robin said in Florida there is no minimum age. Howard said Fred used to be married to a 9 year old. Robin said if you want to marry someone there is no particular limit. Howard said maybe they think people can regulate that. Robin said a man was made to marry a girl in Florida because he raped this girl who had her first daughter at 10 years old. Robin said this was in some church. Robin said they say that there were many more than just this one. Robin said the young girls have sex with the elders there. Robin said it's hard to get involved legally because they're in a church. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about that doctor Larry Nasser who was accused of sexually abusing the US Gymnastics team members. She said he was in court and he is supposed to be sentenced again. Robin said they were having more testimony last week and at one hearing one of the fathers lunged at him. Howard said he saw that clip. He said he felt bad for the father. Robin said the guy was taken down and they are saying they hope he's not charged. Robin said he didn't get to the guy so she's not sure if they'll charge him with anything. Robin said that's what every father wants to do at this point. Robin said they will be sentencing the guy today. Howard read that the father will not be charged. Robin said that's good.
Robin read a story about Uma Thurman coming out with a story about what Harvey Weinstein did to her. Robin said She says that Harvey's approaches to her didn't start in the beginning. She said that Uma was very collaborative with her in the beginning. She said the first time he took his robe off wasn't that crazy. Howard asked what's wrong with that guy. He said wear 3 robes if you look like that. He said Uma is one of the great beauties of this planet. He said they should ban robes. Robin said Uma says that he became aggressive and pushed her on a bed and exposed himself to her. She did everything to fight him off. Robin said Uma says that She had to really fight to get him off of her. Howard asked if all of that Kill Bill training came in handy. Robin said maybe it did. She said Uma also says that her relationship with Quentin Tarantino was ruined because he didn't protect her. Robin said Harvey has found a lawyer to defend him. She said imagine you get that call to be his lawyer. Howard said that's going to be a lot of billable hours. Robin said there are 70 women accusing him of sexual harassment now.
Robin read a story about new developments in the Natalie Wood investigation. Howard said that dude is like 80-something years old now. Robin asked how you can have new leads. Howard said the only people on the boat were Natalie Wood, Robert Wagner and Christopher Walken. Robin said there was something going on between the three of them. Robin said they say that Robert Wagner is now a person of interest in her drowning. Robin said they haven't gone into further detail.
Robin read a story about a holocaust denier being up for election in Illinois this year. Robin said he is running as a republican.
Robin read a story about how the KKK and Nazis are recruiting on college campuses. Robin said if you have that going on then you should close the college.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump railing against universal health care on Twitter. Robin said he wrote about how the UK version is going bankrupt and they're protesting over there. Robin said that he said he was going to come up with something better and something great. Now he doesn't want to come up with anything.
Robin read a story about a billboard that will have pro-Trump stuff on it. Robin said they will have ''fake news'' organizations listed on the billboard.
Robin read a story about how two new studies find that cell phones do not cause cancer or have very little chance of causing cancer. Howard said now he fells safe and he'll sleep with it under his pillow.
Robin read a story about a guy who had a stroke after drinking energy drinks. Robin said he downed a lot of these drinks one day and he had a stroke. Robin said he had no idea they were dangerous so he's warning people about drinking 2 dozen in 6 hours. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about getting set up with a bottle of water. He said he's very into drinking water now. He said he had a feeling in the back of his throat months ago that turned out to be from not drinking water. Robin said he did that because he was getting up and peeing overnight. Howard said if you don't drink you don't pee but he was still getting up. He said now he's drinking tons of water and he gets up about the same amount. He said he might as well. He said the scratch is gone from his throat. Robin said he was parched from not drinking.
Robin said it's hard for her to drink water in the winter. Howard said he only drinks room temperature. Robin said cold and wet is just the same to her. She said it's not warming. Howard said cold and wet describes High Pitch Erik's hand.
Howard said he's announcing something this morning that he's been sitting on for a year. He said young Steve Brandano came to him a year ago and said he wanted to plan for a tribute to Davie Bowie for their channels. Howard said this is to celebrate the life of David Bowie. He said he met him once when he was on a birthday show. Howard said it was for 2 seconds but he performed and it was amazing. He said he was shocked when he died. He said Jimmy Fallon told him he emailed with David. He said he wanted to do that but he was never into it. He said he's not witty with his email so he didn't know if he could do it.
Howard said when he's at his computer he just goes through the email. He said 90 percent of the time it's people asking him for something. He said he realizes that he doesn't have any real friends. He said it's crazy. He said everyone is asking if he wants to get together for dinner. He said even that revolves around doing something for them.
Howard said he hates email and it's the worst way to communicate. He said he likes a phone call. He said our society was so great because we were able to talk and now they're back to writing. He said it's going backwards. He said it's crazy with the writing. Robin said it's not writing actually. She said She was watching a movie about Dickens and he actually wrote. Robin said we type.
Howard said he loves David Bowie and thought he was the greatest. He said he loved his fashion and the presentation he gave on stage. He said he was always changing his sound too. He said he was impressed with him hooking up with Trent Reznor. He said he didn't like Tin Machine that much though.
Howard said this special took over a year to finish. He said they had to contact artists to get them to do stuff and it was tough to get that done. He said they put together this spectacular tribute and they have 25 covers of his songs. He said you can hear the entire thing this Friday night. He said it's hosted by Tony Visconti. He said his commentary is great. He said he's listened to it about 10 times already. He said Tony is a great host. Robin wondered if he's going to tell stories about Bowie. Howard said it's not like that. Robin said Tony was below David's window making out with a girl and he came up with a lyric watching Tony. Howard asked what lyric it was. Fred said it was in Heroes and it may have been the first line.
Howard said he has to thank Steve for working on this special. He said he has to thank the other guys who helped out with it too. Howard said he has to thank the artists who are on the special too. He said Steve is going to get knighted for this. Robin said Bowie turned down the knightship twice.
Howard said he wants to thanks Daryl Hall, Michael Penn, Billy Corgan, Peter Frampton, Lisa Loeb and so many others. He said there are 25 artists who contributed. He said that they have some samples of what they have. He said Todd Rundgren did a cover of ''Life on Mars'' for the special. He played some of the song for Robin.
Howard said he painted while he listened to this special. He said he listened about 5 times. He said everyone should paint on Friday night while they listen. Howard said Barbara Streisand performed the song in 1974 too. Howard thanked Todd for covering the song.
Howard said Lisa Loeb did ''All the Young Dudes'' too. He said She is just sounding great. He played some of her cover too. Howard said Lisa said recording that song was a dream come true for her. He said Bowie wrote this song and gave it to Mott the Hoople. He said he has to thank Lisa for that.
Howard had Steve come in to take a bow for putting this together. He called him a little prick like Joe Pesci. Howard said he loves when he does that.
Steve came in and said he never thought this would come together. Howard told him he did a good job. Steve said he had fun working with Tony Visconti. He said Tony said Lisa's song was the best vocal in the special.
Howard asked who Christine Hicks is. Steve said she's like Stevie Nicks meets a punk rock chick. Howard said this is ''Moon Age Daydream.'' He played some of her cover. Howard said he loves this. He said it gives him the chills. Steve said Tony came up and produced that song. He said they did it right there in Howard's studio. He said they did it like a real recording session. He said She played one of those Melodica things. Howard said just listen to this.
Howard said he loves musicians and chicks who can sing. He said he loves this whole thing. Steve said that Christina was nutty in the best way. He said She did the song Savior and She chanted the end of the song in Latin. Howard said he'll get to that part. He fast forwarded to the end. Howard said you'll have to wait for the special to hear it.
Gary said they had bands coming and going. He said they had The Struts because they're super young and the kid was channeling Mick Jagger. He said the kid had a boa on and he was dancing. Howard thought he meant he was channeling Bowie but Gary said it was Jagger. Howard said this special is great. He said just listen to this kid sing. He played ''Suffragette City'' by the Struts.
Howard said this is on at 10pm Eastern on Friday night. He said they have 25 artists and Tony Visconti will be hosting it. Gary said it'll be available for download in the app too.
Howard said he has to give a shout out to some of the other bands. He said Garbage covered ''Starman'' and that was great. He said Shirley Manson sang and Butch Vig played drums on that track. He said that it's pretty awesome that they got them all involved. Howard played some of the ''Starman'' cover.
Howard said everyone was really excited about recording a Bowie song. Howard asked how they picked who did which song. Steve said it was first come first serve. He said between love for bowie and love for Howard they were excited to do this. Howard said that's great.
Howard said the band Greta Van Fleet did ''The Jean Genie'' so he played some of that. Howard said that's another great one. Steve said they did that one on their own.
Howard said he wanted to make this announcement 2 weeks ago but he had to sit on it. He said he's been listening to it for about 2 weeks.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this sounds great. Howard said there are 25 tracks and he has only played about 4. The caller asked if he cries when he hears ''Life on Mars.'' Howard said yes. He said he loves musicians and music makes him feel. He said he reads about girls who cut themselves to feel but he feels with music. He said that's how he gets to feel something. He said he's always been enamored with musicians. He said he feels a connection to musicians. He remembers buying that double album. He said this guys' phone line is weak. The caller apologized before Howard let him go.
Howard took a call from a woman who said this sounds so great. She asked what time it happens. Howard said it's at 10pm on Howard 101. Howard said she'll love it. The caller congratulated Steve on what he did. Howard said he'll be asleep when it's on.
Howard said you can download it on the app too. Steve said you can ''get it'' on the app. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he's never used it.
Howard said Sour Shoes is excited about this special. He took a call from Sour who was singing as George Takei.
Howard said Michael Penn did a song for the special and he covered ''After All'' and he did it with his wife Amy Mann. Steve said this is one of his favorites on the special and he didn't even know the song. Howard played some of the song. He said he's not sure how he didn't know the song. Steve said it's on ''The Man Who Sold the World.''
Howard said Michael Penn had a song called ''No Myth'' that was a hit. Steve said he did all the music for ''Girls'' and other things too. Howard said he's on the special. Steve said you can hear Amy here. Howard said she's great. Steve said she's really cool. Howard asked if he met her. Steve said no but he has friends who are friends with her. Howard said don't claim she's cool if you don't know her. Steve said She hangs out at Largo.
Howard said Shawn Colvin did a cover of ''Heroes'' up there in the studio. Steve said She came in with an acoustic guitar and did it. Howard played some of that cover. Howard said what a voice on her.
Howard said what a special. He said he wants to kiss this little prick. He asked if She sat on a stool in there. Steve said She did. Howard asked if She just unpacked her guitar and did it. Steve said She didn't mess around. He said She was there for 45 minutes or so. Steve said some of that was setting up for her. Howard asked if she's cool like Amy Mann. Steve said She is. Howard asked if She hangs out at Largo too. Steve said never mind. He said they have a lot of comedy and music performances there. He said Amy Mann is cool. He said She hangs with Sarah Silverman too. Howard asked if he's cool too since he's hung with Sarah. Steve said sure he is. Howard and Fred did impressions of Steve for a few seconds.
Howard said this is some special they have. He said he loves that song. He said one of the biggest Bowie fans is William Patrick Corgan who used to be Billy Corgan. Robin said she's still calling him Billy.
Howard asked what Shawn was wearing. Steve said he's not sure where She hangs out but she's like a log cabin kind of person.
Howard said William Patrick Corgan did ''Space Oddity.'' He said it's a stripped down version. Howard said he's going to stop playing the songs here. Steve said he's not sure they have enough time to play them all. Howard said there are so many great songs that Bowie was responsible for. Howard played some of the Billy Corgan cover of ''Space Oddity.'' Steve said he thinks Billy played all of the instruments himself on this one. Howard said he loves this guy. He said Steve should blow him. Robin asked if that's how he got people. Steve said don't ask.
Howard said Bowie said he was inspired by the movie ''2001 a Space Odyssey'' and wrote this song.
Howard said he has a call from Largo now. He took the call from the guys in the back who were talking about all of the cool people there. Howard asked why it's so cool there at Largo. The caller said you see all the coolest people there. Howard said he has to get over to Largo. He said he has hung out with Sarah but he's never been there. The caller said Howard will never get in. Howard asked if Michael Penn has ever been there. The caller said he isn't cool enough for Largo. Howard asked if the caller would hang himself if he was kicked out of Largo. The caller was going nuts over Largo and saying he was in ecstasy.
Howard said Peter Frampton recorded his track live. Robin asked if they can hear that. Howard said he's saving it for the special. He said he can't play it all. He asked what fun they'll have if he plays it now.
Howard said Umphrey's McGee and Huey Lewis did ''Lets Dance'' and it's really good. Howard said they did a great job with this. He said Corey Taylor from Slipknot did a cover too and that was great. Howard said he didn't expect him to sound the way he did. Fred said he gave it a new wrinkle. Gary said it's his favorite song in the special.
Howard asked who Low Cut Connie is. Steve said they're from Philly. Howard said you have to hear their song. Howard played some of their cover of ''Diamond Dogs.'' Howard played a little bit of that and then a few seconds of Corey Taylor's ''Fashion'' cover. Howard said just tune in Friday night and check out the special. Howard said Daryl Hall did ''Fame'' and that's great too. He played a few seconds of that. Howard told Steve he did a great job with the special. He told him to get over there and shine his shoes with his shine box.
Howard said when you listen to the special Daryl Hall gives a Howard Stern and Baba Booey shout out. He said he should have mentioned Largo. Howard said Daryl still has a great voice. Not like Imus. He said JD was just playing tape of Imus walking off his own show. He said he wants to know what happened to his voice.
Howard said congratulations to Steve for the special. He asked Steve what he thought of Jon Hein's diet because he has diabetes too. He asked if he thinks he'll be cured if he goes to Largo.
Howard asked Steve if he was worried about Jon Hein after hearing that yesterday. Steve said it's a thing you have to live with. He said Jon is really good. He said he doesn't drink. Steve said he drinks so they all have their own thing. He said he's not sure what to tell him. Howard said good job with the special and kicked him out of there. Howard said the special is on Friday night on Howard 101.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for putting this together. He said please make it available for purchase. Howard said if you have the Sirius app you can listen to it on there. The caller said he wants to listen to it over and over. Robin said you can do that on the app. Howard said it's over a year in the making and he wants to thank all of the artists who worked on it. Robin said it's an exciting thing. Howard asked what Robin is going to be wearing on Friday night. Robin said she'll have to check with the people from Largo to find out what's cool. Howard said all of the cool people are there.
Howard said he had such a crush on Amy Mann when She was in Till Tuesday. He said he didn't know She went to Largo. He said that makes her even cooler. Howard asked Steve if he knows when She started going. Fred did his Steve impression and told Howard about that. Howard asked if she's too cool now that She goes to Largo and hangs with Sarah Silverman. Howard said he and Michael actually email once in a while. He said he doesn't think they've ever met in person. He said they have a nice friendship but it's not even that. He said it's just email.
Howard said he thinks Michael doesn't want to get together with him because he doesn't go to Largo. Howard had Fred play the song ''No Myth'' by Michael Penn. He said he loves that song. He said he pictures Amy Mann in bed with a t-shirt on and he has his guitar after just banging. Robin asked why he's having these fantasies about them. Howard said it's because he doesn't go to Largo himself.
Howard said he just wants to hang himself not being at Largo. He said the world is so depressing. He said it's almost over.
Howard said they have so much to go over today. He said he is going to get to the Benjy tribute. He said people loves that they might not ever get to it. Robin said She imagines Benjy waiting at the door for it. Howard said they have no plans to bring him in for it. Gary said he heard yesterday that Benjy was bouncing all over the studio trying to get in there because he has to check with him or Will to get in. Gary said he wasn't sure if the special was going to happen.
Brent said Benjy was ranting and raving in the bathroom about being made fun of. He said he wanted to punch the wall over it. Howard asked what they were even saying. Brent said they were laughing about never getting to the tribute. Howard said you never win that fight against the wall. He said just slow down junior. Howard played an intro for the Benjy 20 year retrospective special and then went to break.
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Howard came back and said everyone is dead. Lou Reed, Bowie... somebody else. Howard said the guy from Soundgarden, everybody. He said he saw that Andrew Dice Clay's show on Showtime was canceled. He said he really liked it. He said it was funny to see Dice laugh at himself. He said it's too bad it was canceled.
Howard said he was reading about how Mel B might be replaced with Queen Latifah. He said they say that the producers might have had enough of her antics and might replace her. Howard read about the ''antics'' they were talking about. Howard said he's sure she'll still be there. He said they say it's got something to do with her throwing water on Simon Cowell last season.
Howard read that Dice's show was the lowest rated on Showtime last season. He said Ronnie has more Twitter followers. Howard said that's too bad because it was really good.
Howard said Jim Carrey was being sued by a former girlfriend's family for giving her an STD or something. Howard said he was somehow able to prove that this wasn't true. Howard said he was happy for him getting out of that. He said he's such a talent. He said now he's allowed back in Largo.
Howard said Steve put together this Bowie special and he's getting slammed today. Robin said he was standing in there waiting for it to happen.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about the Richard Christy clips they played yesterday. He said people were annoyed with him flip flopping on the teams he likes. Howard said people think he picks on Richard. He said he doesn't have a problem with him but he does wonder how he can be a Chiefs fan and then an Eagles fan. Howard said Richard is taking off Thursday to go to the parade in Philly. He asked how old he is.
Howard read some of the mail he got about Richard. He said some people think he's busting his balls and being sexist. He said someone thinks he was telling Richard's wife to stay home and watch the baby. Howard said he never said that. He just said someone should stay home with the baby. He said maybe both of them should stay home. He said he hopes Richard and Kristen don't go to the parade. He said he hates that people bring their babies to concerts and things like that. Robin said and movies too.
Howard said he hopes Richard gets what he was saying. Richard came in and said Howard is very anti fun. He said his wife's mom understands that she's been waiting 37 years for this. Richard said the scratches on his arm are from his wife. He said She dug her nails into his arm when Tom Brady threw the hail Mary pass. Richard said that they have only been away from the baby for 4 or 5 days this year.
Howard said Philly schools are closed on Thursday for this parade. He said it's the wrong message. Robin said this is why the city gets torn down when they win. Robin said they give them the day off for school for it. Richard said he's really excited for this. Howard said it's ridiculous. Richard said he's a fan of fun. Howard said his definition of fun is what he's disturbed by. Richard said it's all subjective. Howard said missing work for a parade that he's not really a fan of isn't right. Richard said he's there to support his wife and also there to make sure she's not alone. Howard said that's a good point. He said She might get pregnant again and it won't be Richard's baby. Richard said they'll be home plenty this year so it's fine.
Howard read some email about Robin being at home watching the Super Bowl and people thought She had a man in bed with her.
Howard said this guy says listening to the police scanner stuff was hilarious. Howard said someone said keep Ronnie out of the studio because he didn't like one of the Super Bowl commercials.
Howard said the kid who took the selfie with Justin Timberlake was not sick. He said someone wrote in about that. The kid is the nephew of a billionaire.
Howard read email about the Super Bowl and the Kitten Bowl. Howard said someone called his wife an angel for doing what She does for the kittens. Howard agreed with that.
Howard said people were disturbed with Jon Hein's Mall of America talk. Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has to give Richard a break with this football thing. He said Howard has even said that if you move to a city you support that team. Howard said sports teams don't give a fuck about the city they play in. He said they're out to make money. The caller said their loyalty is to the paycheck. Robin said it's not even a team. The caller said good job to Steve Brandano too.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that this parade thing is just an excuse for Richard to get drunk. Howard said he's right. He said that's what it's all about. Ralph said he'll be drinking at home and on the train and he'll be blasted by the time he gets to Philly. He asked if he can understand the passion for the team. Howard said no. Ralph said they're going crazy over that. Howard said it's just so fucked up.
Robin said She thinks about what Jerry Seinfeld said about it. She said there is no reason to be that caught up in it. Howard said he couldn't fathom walking into a stadium and seeing someone wearing the opposing team's shirt and raising his voice to them. Robin said they get into fist fights over it. Ralph said it's all so stupid because they're all great players. Howard said the whole thing is foreign to him. Ralph said he saw video of the guys falling off the awning.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were talking about burning down a school. Howard said it's mayhem out there. Howard spent a minute talking to the guys who had the Philly accent.
Ralph said he can't wait for the parade to see what these people do. Howard said there's a guy eating horse shit after the win. He asked what kind of celebration that is.
Howard let Ralph go and got back to the email. He read more about Jon Hein and also about the discussion they had about Jethro Tull yesterday.
Howard said someone suggested he do a hologram at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame so he wouldn't have to travel there. Howard said he could send an iPad with his face on it out there. He said they have that but he won't do that to Jon.
Howard said someone suggested they have the panel in the studio every day for at least 15 minutes. Howard said they will be there for the Benjy tribute next. Howard said he should take a break before doing that though.
Howard said someone wrote in about the pizza challenge he'll be doing. He said Memet challenged him to do that with Pizza Hut pizza. Howard said some people wrote in about the Pizza Hut and Memet stuff.
Howard said some people agreed that Pizza Hut is good. Howard read some of that email. He said that someone said that Pizza Hut is owned by Pepsi. He said he's not sure what the point of that email was. Howard said that someone said that Memet is a genius but that was from Wendy the Slow Adult.
Howard said someone told him to do the Benjy tribute already. someone else said that the best Benjy is no Benjy. Howard said someone said they don't like Benjy but they're a fellow South Carolinian so they have to support him. Howard said people are asking them to get to the Benjy tribute today. He said he's going to do that after the break. Howard got into a discussion about the girlfriends of the guys on the Andy Griffith show after someone wrote in and wrote the wrong name of Andy Griffin. They were trying to come up with all of the names for the girlfriends.
Howard asked if he should do the Benjy tribute now. Robin said yes. Fred said he agrees with limited input from Benjy. Howard said it's just a bunch of clips and memories of Benjy. Robin said that's good. Howard said they'll do that after the break. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said fuck Benjy and tell Ralph he's out of his mind. She was saying that they're going to get more Howard when they bring out Howard 360. Howard asked if she'll blow Jim Meyer because of that. Mariann was screaming and Howard hung up on her. Howard said she's referring to the fact that they're bringing the video portion of the show to the fans. He said he thinks Jim is there up his office so Mariann can head up there. Howard said they call him Big Dick Jim.
Howard said he always does something special for Valentine's day. He said he does it for his wife, Robin and his mom. He said his mom told him not to do anything for her this year. He did an impression of his mom asking him not to send her anything this year. He said he sent flowers to them and She appreciates it but the flowers came from a local florist and they had bugs. Howard said he was in a panic. She asked him not to send flowers anymore because the whole place had bugs. Howard said the next year he sent her chocolates. He said this was a year later. He had his mom telling him not to send anything. He had his mom saying they don't eat chocolates. He said She didn't want him wasting his money.
Howard said he was like okay. He said the next year he sent fruits and things. Then She calls and says it's very appreciated but please don't send any fruit. She said they don't eat it. It just sits there. She said they will have fruit at dinner but they don't eat enough. Howard said he won't send her anything. She said thank you. He said She could have given the fruit to friends. She said that all of their friends are dead.
Howard said he called a local florist and this was the nightmare he was in. He said this year he's going to get something for Robin, his wife and his kids. He said he has a whole thing planned for his wife. Howard asked if Fred does anything. Fred said he will cook dinner if they don't go out.
Howard said Jason asked the guys there what they do. He said he was curious. Jason said a lot of them are doing better than they should be so he tries to do something. He said he and Gary and Brent take their women out to dinner. Gary said his wife is sick of flowers. Howard said he's sick of them too. He said he doesn't like them because they die. He said he feels bad for them. He wants to check them for water all the time. Gary said he sounds like his mother. Howard said he hates plants and won't allow them in his house. He said he doesn't want to water them. He said plants want to live outside. Robin said a tropical plant wants to be inside in this weather.
Howard said he doesn't want to ever water a plant. He said they can get bugs too. He said he doesn't want to worry about living things.
Howard said JD is a weirdo. He said he's doing something for Valentine's day. Howard asked him what he's doing. JD said he's getting Chipotle. Howard asked what that is. Gary said it's a fast food Mexican place. JD said they're getting it and bringing it home. He said it's a tradition. Howard said JD was eating chips yesterday and he caught him looking at him so he gave him the finger. JD said he was just standing there looking at him. Howard said he thought he was trying to lose a few. JD said he was eating Pirates Booty. Gary said it's Cheese Doodles but with a different name. Howard said they aren't food. He said that's how JD is gaining weight. JD tried to say something but he gave up halfway into it.
Howard said if he was JD he wouldn't go to fast food. He said you go to a decent restaurant. He said get dressed up and have a glass of wine or something. Howard asked what he has. JD said he has soft tacos. Jason said they give you 3. Howard said so he's going to have 3 tacos. JD said his fiancee gets a burrito bowl.
Gary said that he could bring her to a nice Mexican place as a surprise. Memet said Chipotle is known for giving you diarrhea so that's not a great tradition.
Howard said JD could make a new tradition and not have fast food. He said that Chipotle isn't the best place to be going. He said he's not trying to bust his balls. JD said sure. Howard said he could take some guidance from him. He said it's not that romantic to go to Chipotle. He asked who goes out to get it. JD said they get it together. Gary said there are a lot of choices to be made in the line. Howard asked how far it is from him. JD said it's around the corner. Robin asked if they go to the one special one. JD said not really.
Howard asked if there's some connection to their relationship. JD said she's not into Valentine's day. Brent said every woman is into it. Howard said his wife says that but She loves it when he gets her something. Brent said try not doing anything and see what that gets you. Howard asked if JD lets her go shit first after eating the Chipotle.
Howard asked if Jon Hein thinks that he's being sweet. Jason said Jon is taking his wife ice skating in Bryant Park. Howard said that's romantic. Jon came in and said he gets that they've been doing it a couple of years. He said it's nice. Howard said it's time to start a new tradition. Robin said even Howard's parents have a tradition to go to Nathan's in Coney Island. Jason said that JD's fiancee is into wine and stuff. JD said that's not on Valentine's day. Howard asked why he's yelling at them. He said he's so offended. Jon said he's being sentimental on Valentine's day. He said he gets it.
Howard played a song parody about JD and his Valentine's day Chipotle visit. He said that's beautiful.
Howard said that JD has toilet paper with hearts on it for the post valentine's day shit. Memet asked how that's a tradition if they've only been together for 2 years. Howard said it's not a tradition. He said just go out and have a little dinner. He said he said something to JD and now he's a dick. He said he has to work hard at being romantic. He said he could be lazy like JD.
Gary said that when they met JD he didn't even leave his apartment. He said they have helped him with all of this.
Memet said they should bring in 4 pizzas tomorrow. Howard said he thought he was going to do it today. Memet said he was going to do it tomorrow. Howard said he's not going to want to do it. He said Memet was going to bring in pizzas and he wasn't going to be able to tell the difference. Memet said he never said that. He said he just said he was going to like the Pizza Hut. Howard said that's what he said.
Jon said what Memet is saying is that Howard will like the Pizza Hut in a blind taste test. Howard said this is a stupid bet for Memet. He said if he's betting against him he'd just say he doesn't like it. He said Memet is retarded. He said the test is to put out 3 or 4 pizzas and have him tell him which one he likes the best and which one is Pizza Hut.
Memet said he'd like to throw in some side action with Gary. He asked if he thinks that Howard will be able to pick out the Pizza Hut. Gary said yes. Memet said Gary has to go and order his lunch and sit in line for it and bring it to him. He said if he's wrong and Howard hates it then he will give the PAs the week off and order Gary's lunch. Gary said he doesn't care about that. Howard said just go get the pizza.
Ward said he has the list of words Memet has blocked on Twitter. He said these are some of them: ''Bald, balding, creep, cry, crybaby, cunt face, crying cunt, dick, douche, fag, faggot, homo, pedo, pedophile, perv, pervert, pussy, queer, shithead, softy, twink, ugly, unattractive and underage.''
Howard asked Jon Hein which fast food pizza is the best. Jon said Dominos and then Pizza Hut. Howard said he thought Jon didn't like pizza. Jon said he likes thin crust. Ronnie said that's all he orders wherever they go. Howard said Jon is so picky with food. Jon said he might as well get what he likes. Ronnie said he doesn't care. Howard said he knows what Ronnie gets. He gets the same fucking thing too. He said it's shrimp Parmesan and spaghetti. Jon said it's every time. Ronnie said it's not every time.
Howard took a call from one of the guys in the back who was acting like a fan of Memet's and calling him every name on that list.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked him to kick Memet off the panel. He said he's fine when he's talking about dating and stuff but he doesn't need him in there for this pizza stuff. He started calling him names that were on that block list. Ralph said Memet is such a tool. Memet told him to go back to folding Howard's underwear. Ralph said that's fine. He said he's happy to do it.
Ralph and Memet kept going back and forth calling each other names. Ralph told Memet he should have gotten that pizza thing done today. Memet said he was told to hold off on it. Howard said he heard they did keep him from doing it today.
Memet said that he can beat Ralph in an IQ test. Ralph said he had a 112 IQ. Memet said he can beat that. He said he can beat him in a foot race too. Howard said this is like the Special, Special Olympics.
Ralph was going off on Memet and Memet was going back at him about the running and IQ thing. Howard said it's enough of the trash talk. Memet said Ralph writes in all caps and weird hashtags on Twitter. He said he reads it because it's interesting and funny to him. Ralph told him to shut up then. He said he's goofing on it but he fins it entertaining.
Memet said he wants to do the IQ test against Ralph. He said he wants him to come in and kiss his boot if he wins. He said he'll kiss Ralph's high heel. Jason said that Brent and Memet are going to take the test in a couple of weeks. Howard said he thinks that Brent is really fucking smart. He said Brent is a bright guy.
Howard said Will has a pie chart of something. He asked what this is. Will said that 9 people picked Brent and 3 picked Memet to win. 3 people were undecided. Fred was one of the undecided. Howard went through the list of guys who picked Brent and on Memet they had Will, Benjy and Steve Brandano. Howard said Richard and Sal were undecided.
Howard said Brent is real smart. Memet said they can all come in and kiss his boot when he wins. Howard asked what Brent is doing over there. He was doing his impression of Memet. Howard told him to lose the impression.
Howard asked why Memet wants them to kiss the boot. Gary said he wants to bet some money. He said it hurts him when he loses it.
Ralph said he has a bet. He said if Memet loses he's off the air. Memet said he's fine with that. He said if he loses he'll blow him too. He said that's how sure he is. Howard said if he loses the IQ test he's going to blow Ralph. Ralph said he doesn't want that.
Howard said Ralph has to take that bet. Memet said he'll blow him in the studio. Ralph was cracking up. Howard said he can wrap a sheet around himself to cover up. Memet said if he wants him off the air he has to do this. Ralph said he's about 8 inches, can he take that. Memet said he doesn't have to take it all. Howard said he could barely fit it in his mouth.
Memet asked where this is coming from because he's been kind to Ralph. the guys all wondered what he was talking about. He started it. Memet said that if Ralph loses he should stop calling in. He said that's the bet. Howard said the blow job has to be involved. Howard said he thought he just had to kiss his boot. Memet said he can never call in again. Ralph said that's not going to happen. He said he's not betting that.
Memet said he has an above average IQ and Ralph's was average. He said he took some military test and he knows he's going to do well. Brent said that test has nothing to do with an IQ test.
Howard said he has to move on from this. He said he thinks this is a great bet. He said he has to kiss his boot. He said he's not going to take that bet of not calling in ever again. Memet said he can only call in once a year. Jason asked why the show has to suffer. Gary said he would miss Ralph.
Howard asked when they're taking the test. Jason said they have a couple of weeks off and they'll be doing it after that. Gary said this is the same test everyone else took. Howard said he likes this bet where Memet will blow Ralph if he loses. Memet said he will not score 110 or lower. He said it's like betting if the sun will rise tomorrow. He said he knows he's smarter than Ralph.
Ralph said there are no certainties in life. He said this is why Memet is so dopey. He said he's not going to bet that he won't ever call in again. Howard said Memet is making a good point that he has to put up something. Howard said maybe he can blow Memet. Ralph asked how big he is. Memet said he's just under 6. He said he will enjoy it.
Howard said he wants to know what the bet is. Memet said he already said what it is. Howard said he knows what he could bet. He said Ralph could bet his Iron Man mask or that Darth Vader mask. Howard said Memet can smash it. Ralph said he has something else. Howard said no. Ralph said the mask is cool but he can give that up. And it's a Stormtrooper, not Darth Vader.
Howard said Memet is going to take a shit on it and throw it in the garbage. Memet said he should be able to pick the things he can destroy. Ralph said he can take pictures but he's not coming over to pick anything. Memet said he wants to pick 3 things. Ralph said no way. Howard said Memet has put up the ultimate prize and Ralph chickened out. Memet old him to go fold the underwear. Howard let Ralph go after that. Ralph said he's looking forward to him blowing him as Howard was hanging up. Howard said there is no bet.
Howard asked if Memet called Gary a douche in that segment. Memet said he did. He said he just gets angry over this stuff.
Howard asked Gary what he's fighting with Memet about. Gary said it was about Memet calling him an elitist after the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Memet said that Will is the busiest person on the staff and he's never sent out a PA for his lunch. Jason said he sends one out for something every day. Gary said they get stuff for like 20 people. He said Memet has such a chip on his shoulder. Memet said he does not.
Gary said he does not hate Memet but he thinks he does. He said he'd like to pull him to the side and tell him he's coming across as a dick. Jason said he thinks this is disrespect of Gary and not just a dislike. Memet said he likes everyone there. The guys said that's just not true.
Memet said when this came up last time. He said Jason will put up his hand and snap his fingers and say ''Coffee.'' Memet said one time Jason spilled coffee and told a PA to ''Clean that up!'' Jon Hein said that he did do that. He said it was a big spill and he did apologize for the way he reacted.
Memet said he heard there was a meeting where Jason got upset about his eggs not being the right temperature so he asked for a bagel instead. Jason said that's just not true.
Jason said that Memet went out and did 5 hours of work on the street and he ended up throwing out the recorder. Brent said he threw out his to go bag from a restaurant and the recorder was in it. Howard said you've got to be kidding. He said you don't make those mistakes if your job is important to you. Jason said they had the corporate card for the food and they went out and Memet got food to go and he ended up throwing it out with the recorder in the bag. Ronnie asked what's wrong with him. Memet asked if he just heard all of those stories about Jason.
Howard said he has Wolfie on the phone. Memet said ''Ugh...'' Howard asked if he has a problem with him. Memet said lets just hear what he has to say. Wolfie said how about if Ralph loses the bet we get to see his apartment. Howard seemed to like that. Howard said he also thinks that destroying 3 of his toys is fair. Jason said he's got plenty of toys. Ronnie said he wants Ralph to win so bad. He said he's going to be on the floor for that.
Howard asked if he loses is he going to be able to do it. Memet said it's not going to happen but he will do it if he has to. He said they're not going to have video of it. Howard said you'll see Ralph's face and see Memet moving but they won't photograph the penis. Wolfie said they have to see the cum fly into his face. Howard said come on. He asked Wolfie why he has to see that. Gary said he'd like to see that.
Jon asked if Memet remembers how confident Brent was about Hillary Clinton. Memet said that he's not a smart person. Jon said you have to keep that in mind. He said he could lose. He said he's not saying he's dumb but he could lose. Memet said that's like betting if the sun will rise. He said it's just a fact.
Howard said Ralph's IQ is 112. Gary said the Russians were sure they were going to beat the Americans in hockey. He said this is in hie head now. Memet wanted to change it to a hand job. Howard said he can put a rubber on Ralph. Robin said they can test him if he's afraid of disease.
Wolfie said he wants to see that face shot. He said that they can do it tastefully. Memet said he's not sure why he's so obsessed with that. He said he's interacted with him and he has to know that he's going to win this thing. Howard said maybe he can blow Ralph and Gary during the same show. Gary had a 123 IQ. Howard said Memet's biggest fan is on the phone. He took the call and the caller said he's his number one gay fan. Howard kept him on for a few seconds.
Howard said there you go. Memet said you saw that Tonya Harding movie. He said he feels like the Tonya Harding of this show. He said it's like the whole country thinks he's a villain but he's the hero of the story. Robin said Tonya Harding failed under the pressure.
Howard said he's got Memet and Ralph on the phone from the future. He had the guys in the back playing a gay porn clip.
Howard asked if anyone wants to hear from Ralph again. He took the call and Ralph said he can't stop laughing. Howard played more of the gay porn clip. Howard said Benjy just announced he's wiling to blow anyone if they just get to his tribute.
Ralph asked if Memet uses his teeth when he blows a guy. Memet said he's going to. Ralph said he has to stroke the shaft. Memet told him to shut up. Ralph asked if he'll lick his balls. Memet said no. Howard said they're going to have Memet's teeth removed to be sure. Memet said he has to have a time limit on the blow job. Howard said he has to do it until he cums. Ralph said he wants to cum.
Howard asked if Ralph will shave a bit. Ralph said he will and he'll make sure it's nice and neat. Howard said he can rub his blonde hair in his face. Ralph said he'll dye his hair down there. He said he trims his bush down there. Howard asked if he has ass hair. Ralph said there's not a lot. He said he will trim that too.
Ralph asked if Memet can rim him instead of blow him. Memet said he would rather do that. Howard asked if he wants to change the bet. Memet asked if he's willing to do the 3 smashed toy thing and kiss his boot. Howard said Memet has to give him a rim job. Howard said Ralph has to shower. Ralph said he wants Memet laying back and he will stick his ass in his face. He said he's going to squat on Memet.
Howard asked if they can skip the IQ test and get right to the rim job. Ralph said he'll shave down and be nice and clean. Howard asked if he's going to tongue his ass. Ralph said that's what this is.
Ralph asked if he can fuck Memet up the ass. Memet said they're getting into some stuff on Ralph's mind. Memet said that he will rim Ralph and he can jerk himself off. Howard said they can limit it to 3 minutes. Ralph said it's going to take more than 3 minutes. Ralph said it's up to how good he is at doing it. Ralph said he's good at doing the jerking off since he does it every night.
Howard said it's only fair if Memet is doing the hand job too. Memet said take out the riming and he'll only do the hand job. Howard said he has to get out of this and take a break.
Howard asked if Ralph could cum in 3 minutes. Ralph said he's not sure about that. Howard said he's sure he could. Ralph said he's asking for 2 things. He wants him to lick his boot and destroy his toys. He said that he has to do something for him and wear a wig and put a bra and panties on. Memet said now they're getting crazy.
Howard said the bet is on and Al Michaels will do the play by play. Ralph said he wants Joe Buck to do it. Howard said Memet is pretty confident. He said he might get over 112. Howard asked if Robin thinks it's over 112. Robin said She hopes not.
Howard said the Billy Joel song ''She's got a Way'' is exactly 3 minutes long so that's the song they'll put on. Memet said he's not doing 3 minutes. Ralph said he has to do it a while so he can get into it. He said the whole thing is ridiculous.
Ronnie said he has a great idea. He said he brings one of his hot chicks and She stands in front of Ralph so he can get off quicker. Howard said that's not going to happen. Ralph said they're talking to a guy who threw out 5 hours of work. He said he's not that bright. Memet said that's just being absent minded.
Memet said he was at his psychologist the other day and he said that he bets that his coworkers are jealous of him. Ralph said no one is jealous of him. He said they just laugh at him because he's so dopey.
Howard said he's going to close this out now. Memet said he doesn't think people there dislike him. Howard said he has to close this. He said there's a bet between Memet and Brent and now one between Ralph and Memet. Howard said he's going to rim Ralph if he loses to him in the IQ test thing. Howard said the rimming has to go on for at least 3 minutes. Howard said Ralph has to be realistic and not jerk off a lot before. He said they can't be there waiting for him to finish. Ralph said if he holds off for 3 days it's going to be a nice big load. Howard said if Memet wins then he gets to destroy his toys and get his boot kissed. Ralph said it's one or the other. Howard said he has to agree to it. Ralph said he can fuck with his toys. Howard said just go for it. Ralph said he's not kissing his boot. Howard said he put up a rim job. Ralph said that's a prize for Memet.
Howard said he has to get out of this. He said Ralph just chickened out. Memet told him to hang up on Ralph. Howard asked if he agrees or not. Ralph didn't answer. Howard said goodbye and hung up. He said Ralph will drag this out for those stupid toys. Memet said he's a douche. Howard said Memet put it out there. Memet said he has confidence. Memet said it could have been a cool experience for Ralph to get rimmed. Howard said this is enough of the betting.
Howard played a gay porn clip and Fred played the Billy Joel song. Howard said he loves gay bets. Robin said it's not going to happen. Howard said that's not Memet's fault. He said it's Ralph. He said that was over 3 stupid toys. Howard said Memet put up. Jason said it's going to be so depressing if he scores lower than Ralph.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this fucking Memet... He said that he never thought that someone would make him like Bobo better. Howard said he thought Memet put up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said get rid of Memet and give him 24/7 of Benjy. He told him to get out.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that She thinks Brent is dumber than a box of rocks and She loves Memet. She said She thinks he's sexy as fuck and she'd blow him and she's a Dyke. Howard said that was a nice comment.
Howard took a call from a guy who said over the last 10 years the show has gotten so gay. Howard said he's not sure why he says that. Howard said just because Memet was going to rim Ralph. He said Ralph was going to cum on his face. Howard said there's nothing funnier than two guys making a gay bet.
Memet said it's so pathetic that Ralph wasn't willing to give up 3 Star Wars toys. Howard said it's so funny thinking about that bet. He said all Ralph had to do was put up 3 toys. Memet said he was going to pick them and he doesn't know what he likes. Howard said this was so manly but in a gay way.
Jon asked if they're going to get pizza. Memet said he'll take charge of that and make it happen. Ronnie told him not to throw it in the garbage by accident.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his George Takei impression talking about this bet. Howard let him go and said they ran out of time for the Benjy tribute thing again. He said he must be so frustrated. He said he can walk in. Benjy came in and said he's jealous of all of this. Howard asked if he thinks he's smarter than Memet. Benjy said he's not sure. He said that he isn't willing to bet on it.
Gary asked why he's so red today. Benjy said he doesn't know he just woke up that way. Howard asked if his dorm room is dry. Benjy said he moved into a new place off campus. He said he has until May 30th to live there. He said he got something for 4 months. Howard said it looks like someone threw red paint on his face. Benjy said he doesn't know what it is. Howard said that they'll get to Benjy tomorrow. Benjy said he's going to be on Wrap Up on Thursday. Howard said he is not. Benjy said Brent told him last week he was going to be on. Howard said he heard he keeps insisting on being on. Brent said he wanted to see how the Benjy tribute goes. Then they might have him on. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard said he never got back to JD and the Chipotle thing. JD said he can move on. Howard said he still wants to lecture him a bit off the air about what to do on Valentine's day. JD said it's fine. He said they go out to dinner all the time.
Howard said he knows JD visited a rock with his fiancee. Fred, as JD, said that was Peggy's Cove. Robin said She liked how they changed in a garage when they went to that Samantha Bee dinner. JD thanked her for that.
Howard took a call from Balls who thanked him for the killer shows the past few weeks. He said it reminds him of the good old days. Howard said the show is the show. He said he's been suffering that his whole career. He said he doesn't want to hear about the old days. He said just compliment him.
Howard said like Trump he's saying you're a traitor if you don't applaud him. He said there isn't one listener left out there. He said stop commenting. He said he's going to come in there and do the show he likes to do. Howard said he's always going to do his best. He said if you think the show hasn't been good since Jackie left that's you're opinion.
Howard said Kim Jong Un kills people who give him bad news. He said he's got the right idea. Robin said they say don't kill the messenger but he does kill the messenger. Howard said just let him suck or not. He said if he's not on his game then just let him go off into the ex-DJ home. Howard said Jackie left the show 17 years ago and Artie left like 8 years ago. He said this is the show now. He said it's the best he can do. He said Fred could step up his game though. He said thank god Fred never left. He said they'd have to hear about that. Howard said take it or leave it assholes. He said like Pat Cooper would say ''I am the expert of me.'' Howard did a live commercial read and took another break after that.
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Howard said thanks to everyone but Ralph who ruined the bit. Robin said he really did ruin it. Howard played Robin into her news with a ''Black Tits'' song parody to the turn of a David Bowie song. Howard said that was sent in by David Blowme.
Robin started off with a story about El Chapo who has to go on trial. Robin said it's in Brooklyn and they have to have a jury of course. Robin said imagine being picked for that jury. Robin said you'd have to have your identity kept secret. Howard said that guy is a mad man. He said you have to do your duty. Robin said that's a jury you don't want to be on. Howard said he's not sure why the trials take so long when you know the guy is guilty. He said he's guilty of breaking out of prison so fuck him. Howard said they had El Chapo record a message for Robin. He played a bit that Ham Hands Bill did. Robin said this trial could go on for months.
Robin read a story about a trial for a woman who was charged with something in 2012. She said She thought they were supposed to have swift justice. Robin said this nanny is accused of killing a baby in 2012. Robin said the family would like it to be wrapped up. Howard said they do need some swift justice on that. He said what about Bill Cosby. Robin said they keep trying with him.
Howard took a call from a woman in Arizona. Howard said he wishes he was there. He said it's so cold out in New York City. The caller said She loves the show and listens every morning. She said last night She was lucky enough to find Beth's book Yoda the Cat. She said her daughter is a year and a half and She loves it. She thanked Howard for all the work they do. Howard said all of the money from that book goes to charity. Howard said Robin heard that audio book and still named her cat Yoda not remembering that they have a cat named Yoda.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about Paul Simon retiring. Robin said he lost a guitarist who had been playing with him for 30 years. Robin said that's one reason he wants to get off the road. Robin said that he wants to spend more time with his family. Howard said that guitarist died. He didn't just lose him. Howard said this guy is a genius and he's blessed. He said he's like 77 years old now. He said everyone is aging out.
Robin read about how Elton John, Adele and Ed Sheeran are also looking to end their careers on stage as well. Howard said Ed and Adele are still young men. Howard said Elton has a reason to retire because he's getting older. Howard said Elton isn't going anywhere. He has to perform. Howard asked if Bieber is next. Robin said he's a baby compared to Elton. Howard wondered if Elton goes to Largo.
Robin read a story about Selena Gomez who is plagued by mental issues. Howard said it's always weird when someone good looking has mental issues. He said he has a hard time believing that She has issues when she's so beautiful. Howard said he thinks being good looking your whole world is brighter. He said people want to be around you and offer you money. Robin read some things Selena has said about the issues She has. Howard said he saw She had to go into a rehab center that was like $120,000. He said she'd better be cured. Robin said they offer a lot of things there including massages.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he could lose and he has to get something out of the bet. Howard said it's all over now. He said it's too late. Howard said Ralph is experiencing the thing where he's thinking about what he should have said. Howard said it seemed like a no brainier. Ralph said he's willing to give up 2 toys. Howard said it's too late. He told him to say goodbye. Ralph let out a sad moan. Howard said he was going to get a rim job from Memet. He said he could have been in the greatest radio bit in history and he blew it. He was worried about his toys. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Christie Brinkley claiming that Donald Trump tried to give her a ride on his private jet years ago. Robin said She had turned him down because he was married. Robin read some more comments She had about Trump in this article.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he wants to clear the slate. Robin asked what slate. Jeff said he wants to start anew. Howard asked if he said he wants to be put to sleep. Jeff said he doesn't want to be out of the Wack Pack. He said he wants to be in it. Howard said he's in. Jeff thanked him. Howard said take care. He asked what the fuck that was. Robin said he calls in every week with that. Howard said he's wondering if Memet would rim Jeff.
Robin asked if Sarah Silverman has ever shown up at an award show with Michael Sheen. Howard said they show up to Largo. Robin said Sarah announced that She and Michael are over. Howard said he thought that might be going on. Howard said he had Kate Beckinsale for a while. Howard said according to Sarah he's off in England all the time. Robin said Sarah said that they are consciously uncoupling. Howard said they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder and that's not true. Robin said it works with her. Howard did an impression of his mom talking about that absence making the heart grow fonder thing. Howard said Sarah's tits looked nice at the Grammy's. He said She had them out for everyone to see. Robin said every woman has them at some point in their lives.
Robin said She read that Angelina Jolie has Bell's Palsey. She said She thinks She read that over the weekend. Howard said he thinks that's fake news. He said that's when your face is half paralyzed. Robin said She was just in Syria and you can pick up all kinds of things there. Howard said she's impressive that She goes to those places. Robin said it was like her third trip there. Howard read that She had it in July. He said he doesn't believe it. He said he didn't see her face drooping.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Kimmel keeping up his feud with the President. Robin said he was on a podcast called Pod Save America and he said there is a reason liberals excel at hosting talk shows and that it requires a level of intelligence. Robin had some audio of Kimmel talking about that.
Howard asked why that podcast sounded like that. It was all echo. Robin said all podcasts sound like that. Howard said it sounded like there was a live audience there. Howard said maybe it was recorded in the Grand Canyon or in the well Tan Mom was thrown down. He put echo on his voice and did an impression of that.
Robin said people keep suggesting podcasts for her to listen to. Howard said Gary does that. He said he doesn't even know where to get them. He said he doesn't have time for that anyway. He said he ha too much to listen to and watch as it is.
Robin read about the flu and how bad things are right now. Robin said children are dying from it. Howard did his mother's voice talking about how dangerous the flu is. Robin said that the cast of The View has the flu. Robin said a couple of them are out. Robin said wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands. Robin said She does that all the time. Howard asked if she's doing that all the time. Robin said She is. Howard said Scott the Engineer was out last week and says he had the flu. Robin said the flu season really ramps up in February. Howard said he read that 57 children have died from it this year so far. Robin had some audio of a doctor talking about how people can get it twice. Fred and Robin talked about getting flu shots. Howard said he got his a while ago. He said they might have peaked too early.
Robin read a story about two kids dying from the flu in the city. Robin said that one girl was prescribed Tamiflu and She had trouble breathing. Robin said another pediatric patient died in the past couple of days. Robin said it's nothing to fool around with. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Super bowl getting just 103 million viewers. Robin said the highest was 111 million. Howard said they say that the rest of the country hates the northeast so maybe that's why they didn't watch. Howard said it was such a great match up though. He said the game was great. Howard did an impression of his dad asking if people are losing interest overall. Robin said they say that it's the most watched show through the whole year. Robin said they say that there was an attempt to boycott the game. Robin said there was an ad that NBC rejected where they had soldiers asking people to stand for the National Anthem. Howard said he read that Rob Gronkowski's house was robbed during the game.
Howard said he has some audio of Kevin Hart apologizing for his behavior at the Super Bowl. He played some of that and Kevin was saying he was sorry for what he did there at the game. He said he's still tipsy and the world can kiss his ass.
Howard took a call from Tan Mom and asked how things worked out with the people trying to kick her out of her house. She wasn't here when he picked up. Then She got on the line and said She thought they were talking about the Super Bowl. Howard asked if she's still in her house. Tan Mom said she's in a hotel. She said they're going to die tomorrow. She said that she's doing okay. She said Howard makes her laugh because She gets sad sometimes. She said things are going to be okay but She hates the state of New Jersey. Howard said She was going to get kicked out of the house last time they spoke.
Shuli came in and said that She is out of the house and now she's saying that She didn't want to live there anyway. Howard said the house is worth something financially. Tan Mom said She doesn't care about the money. She said it's like one big fat memory. She said the kids are in school right now and they're staying with her. Howard said of course they are. Tan Mom said She just wanted to give an update.
Shuli said he has gotten crying, anger, laughing and all of that. He said she's all over the place with this. Howard asked why the house is a terrible memory. Tan Mom said She would like to get away for her husband for a full year. Shuli said She wants to be away from the kids too. Tan Mom said that's not true.
Gary said that they were wondering why She was out of the house. She claims that She doesn't know who wasn't paying the mortgage. Tan Mom said She has the paperwork to show them. Howard said she's very up today with her voice and all. Shuli did an impression of the high voice She was doing. Howard said he's never heard that voice. He said she's like James Brown. Howard let Tan Mom go a short time later.
Howard said it's like a new thing to add to Shuli's impression. He had Shuli do sad Tan Mom and then do the giddy and laughing voice. Then he had him do angry Tan Mom and sexy Tan Mom. Then he had him do the new one which is Tan Mom speaking in a high voice. Howard asked if he can ease into one from another. Shuli gave it a try. He threw in the confused Tan Mom too. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Super Bowl commercials and what people liked the most. Robin had some audio of someone from this web site commenting on the Doritos and Mountain Dew commercial. Howard said that wasn't the best one. Howard said the best one was the one he can't remember. He said go back and listen to the show if you want to know. Robin read about some of the others that were rated the highest. Howard didn't agree with any of the top ones. He said he thinks he liked that Sprint Artificial Intelligence commercial. He said the only problem with it was that it was for Sprint. He said Verizon is better. Gary asked what Howard thought of the Hyundai commercial where they made people sit in a room to watch cancer survivors. Gary said that was odd. Howard said he doesn't remember that one but he doesn't like it.
Robin read a story about the stock market taking a big tumble yesterday. Robin said they say don't panic on the news. She said they say investing in the stock market is for the long term. Howard said he never does well in the stock market. He said he has guys who invest and they have the saddest look on their faces. He said they end up being up and now they wipe them all out with this. Howard said he wants to make a killing.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was looking for some advice. He said he and his wife are building a home and they moved in with his mother in law. He said they have a 16 year old Yellow Lab and it can't get up on its own. He said the dog shits all over the floor and it pukes every night. Howard said go to a vet first and have him discuss it with them. Howard said it's a very difficult thing to say goodbye to your pet. Howard said we can't treat humans humanely but we can treat animals that way. Howard said if it's that time then put the dog down. He said they put down their cat Charlie a couple of months ago and it was so painful. He said he missed Bianca dying. He said he missed Apple dying when he was away. He said this time he was there and it was gut wrenching. He said the cat was such a good boy. He said he just wanted to be on the scene and he was such a sweetheart. Howard said he and Beth hung on way too long. He said the vet said it was time. Howard said he held the cat had stroked his head. He said Beth was sobbing and he was sobbing. He said they had some time alone with him. He said he's still thinking about it. He said it tore him up but you do it so the cat won't suffer.
The caller said that it's his mother in law's dog and they have tried to explain it to her. He said She just can't let the dog go. Howard said bring her to the vet to have him do it. The caller said it's awful to see the dog suffer. Howard said you have to take the dog to the vet and bring the mother in law to talk to the vet. Robin said that's good advice. Howard said he must be woozy from the blow job bet.
Robin said President Trump is slamming democrats for not applauding during his State of the Union address. Robin had some audio of him saying that it was treasonous. Howard said Trump hates when people don't clap for him. He said when he was at Mar-A-Lago he was happy. He said the democrats are not happy with him. Robin said everyone is laughing but that one guy like a commercial sees that one guy. Robin had some more audio of Trump talking about Nancy Pelosi.
Robin read about Larry Nasser getting sentenced again yesterday. Robin said he already had 175 years. She said he is currently serving up to 60 years for child pornography. Robin said now they have tacked on another 40-125 years. Robin said he says for the rest of his life the words from his survivors will be etched in his psyche. Robin had some audio of Nasser talking about that.
Robin read a story about a Beatles in India documentary coming out this year. Robin said it's going it be in theaters this year. Howard said he's waiting for Robin in India. He said She lasted less than 24 hours. Robin said that would be a very short documentary. Howard asked when She knew She wanted out. Robin said She tried to get to her friends for 4 days. She said She saw people coming out of the woods wrapped in blankets and She knew then She wanted to leave. Robin said they live in the woods. She said people with no hands were coming up to her begging for money. Robin said there are some nice places in India but She never got to see them. Howard asked if She wanted to leave that first day. Robin said no because there were some interesting things. She said She saw a man smaller than her suitcase trying to carry the suitcase. She said that was on day 1. Howard said She kind of had a feeling but She ignored it. Robin said the little man was literally smaller than her suitcase. She said he claimed he was very strong though. Howard said he wants a documentary about that. Robin said then She saw a roach crawling on her suitcase. She said that was like day 3. Howard said She must have known on day 1. Robin said that She didn't. She thought that She would be fine. Robin said She got on the phone crying when She saw the roach on the suitcase. She said She was on a flight the following 24 hours.
Gary came in and said there's a big campaign trying to get people to stop shitting in the streets and people are upset about not being able to shit where they want to. Howard said they should put some sewers in there. Howard said if you shit in the street you've got a problem.
Robin said there was a guy who kicked a guy. She said She was switching hotels and She called for a cab. She said the Indian people are sweet but they want you to fill up their car with gas. Robin said they did that and She got to the hotel. She said this was her last night there. She said She just gave the rest of her Indian money to the guy. She said the doorman grabbed the money from her hand and said ''No!'' Robin said he grabbed the money and the cab driver said but She wants to give it to him. Then the door man kicked him and told him to get out of there. Howard said they say that people shit in the street and read the paper while they do it. Robin said She didn't see that.
Robin read a story about Frank Zappa going on tour as a hologram. Howard said he'd like to see that. Howard took a call from the guy who kicked the guy in India. He was explaining why they shit in the streets over there. Robin got back to the Frank Zappa tour and the other musicians who will be on tour with that hologram. Howard said it's funny who the pick to be a hologram. He said maybe he can come on the show and promote it. He said he loves Frank. He said he was great on the show. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about how he's all charged up with his Dunkin Donuts coffee this morning. He asked Fred to play Leslie West's ''Never in My Life'' by Mountain. Fred said he'd look it up. Howard wanted to get all charged up from the song but Fred wasn't getting to it. Robin said he's going to be done with the song before Fred finds it. Howard said he just used all of his energy. Fred finally found it and played it for him. Howard said they don't make music like this anymore. Fred had Robin singing clips going along with the Mountain song. Howard said he can picture Memet's tongue up Ralph's asshole now. He said he's cumming in his face.
Howard asked how Leslie isn't the President of the United States. He said Felix Pappalardi was shot by his wife. He said Leslie only divorced his wife. Howard said just listen to this guy. He let the song play a little more. He said those were the days. Robin asked how old he was back then. Howard said he was about 16 listening to this. He said he had no life. He said he's not sure how old Leslie was. Robin said he was so accomplished back then. Howard said Leslie was nothing like him. He said he had nothing going on while Leslie was doing this. He said he had big hair and his mom didn't like this. He said it was his only way to rebel.
Howard said Felix was shot and killed by his wife. He said Leslie was 25 when he did that song. He said they still email. He said that he went to do some pilots for FOX and he made Leslie his band leader. He said it was great. He looked great on camera too. He said he couldn't believe that he was his band leader. He said that was back when Leslie had two legs. The good old days. He said Leslie doesn't care as long as he can play guitar. He said he asked him if he got a peg leg but Leslie just sits in a wheelchair. He said he just wants to play guitar. He's fucking awesome.
Howard said he saw they shot a Tesla car into space. Robin said they sent a bunch of stuff as a test. Robin said they rocket is going to circle the sun for millions of years. Howard said he saw some other rockets that landed in syncronicity. He said he knows nothing about this guy and he might have to read a book about him. Robin said there is a book about him on Audible. Howard said he might have to listen to that.
Howard said this Elon Musk just came into his life a couple of days ago. Robin said the guy is awesome. She said he's like a Steve Jobs kind of guy who comes up with ideas. She said he wants to power the world with batteries. Howard said Robert Downey Jr. met with him before he did Iron Man. He said he loves Robert as Iron Man. He said he's going to keep playing that guy as long as he can. He said he's good at it. He said he rattles off those quips and he doesn't get all Sean Connery. He said he gave up on doing Bond. Howard said Connery is a whining baby.
Howard said he knows Robert and he's doing like 16 Iron Man movies this year. He said he'd do the same thing if he was him. Howard said he's not like Daniel Day Lewis. Robin said he's a different kind of person. Howard said he sees that guy walking around with a hoodie on. He said he's a disturbed man.
Howard said Robert Downey Jr. knows what to do. Robin said Daniel Craig is another one. Howard said he's a fucking moron too. Robin said she's seen him on stage and Bond can't contain him.
Howard said Robert is thinking about making an Iron Man movie where he meets Winston Churchill. He said Gary Oldman can reprise his role with that. Howard said acting isn't dentistry. He said that you get something good and you stick with it. He said that guy Jack Parr shitted up his life. He said he was the host of the Tonight Show and people were kissing his ass. He said he was crying and carrying on. He said he had to quit the tonight show. He said everyone was talking about him and he quits and no one ever hears from him again. Howard said Johnny Carson got the Tonight show and his career took off. Howard said Daniel Craig is giving up on playing Bond and people would kill to play that part. He said even if you don't want to play it just shut up about it. Robin asked why people can't just do what they feel. Howard said he's teaching people. He said check with him. He said no one has common sense anymore.
Howard said people have children without health insurance. Robin said they don't decide to have children. Howard said it's all a decision. Robin said they decided to have sex without protection.
Howard said this guy Jason who does a show in Minneapolis talks about them all the time. He said JD pulled a clip of this guy talking about him on America's Got Talent and he liked working with Mel B. He said he thought She was the best judge. He said She might have been better than him. Not really but he was trying to be nice. He said he enjoyed working with her very much.
Howard played a clip of this guy Jason talking about Mel B on the news in Minneapolis. Jason said Howard said he liked Mel B but he got the feeling She was difficult to work with. Howard said Mel B had better get her shit together. He said She needs that show. He said without it he doesn't know. Robin said it seems like She and Simon have a good relationship. Howard said Simon is a back stabbing fuck so keep that in mind. Howard said that guy is the cuntiest mother fucker on the planet. He said don't leave your wife in a room alone with him. He said go read the Sony hack emails. He said he was plotting against him. He said he fucked some guy's wife and got her pregnant. Howard said Simon is a wife fucker.
Howard said Mel is very good and he wasn't hinting at anything. He said sometimes she'd get into something but nothing bad.
Howard said he knew his place over there at America's Got Talent. He said he didn't cause any issues. Robin said he ended up quitting the job. Howard said that was too much work and aggravation for him. Robin said he's like Daniel Craig. Howard said no, it's not the same thing. Howard said that was a hobby for him. He said that wasn't his job. He said this is his bread and butter there.
Howard said they're getting ready to ramp up the TV experience they're going to have there. He said they went over camera angles there. He said he can't have his face shot head on. He said he looks like a monster. Howard said Robin is pretty. Robin said She thinks She doesn't look good either. Howard said the guys saw Robin from back in the Club Bene days and they wanted to fuck Robin. Robin said oh come on. Gary said the guys were talking about that in the office yesterday. Howard said Robin used to wear those hot pants and the Tina Turner wig. He said She looked good.
Howard asked where he was. Robin said he was talking about Howard 360 and his face. Howard said that's right. He said they were asking what cameras to use on him and he had an Epiphany. He said he doesn't care anymore. He said you know he's ugly. He said just watch the show and don't look so hard at him. He said it's enough. He said he's going to just let it all hang out. He gives up.
Howard said Jane Fonda told him he looked like some singer. Gary said Leonard Cohen. Howard said he looked at his picture and almost passed out. He said no one wants to look like that. Robin said he does not look like Leonard Cohen. Howard said that guy is better looking than him.
Robin said She shouldn't tell him these stories. Howard said he told her that. Howard said go look at this kitten. He's about 11 weeks old. He said he's so fucking cute. Howard said it's because of Beth. He said no one gives a shit.
Robin said he would have been so proud of her. She said her cat must have run out while She was accepting a delivery. Howard said that means she's not paying attention. Robin said She was paying for a delivery. She said She was wondering where the cat was last night. She said She thought he was just hanging out in the living room. Robin said She opened the door and he ran in. She said that was Leroy the cat. Howard said he gave up a kidney. He said he will talk to her off the air about this.
Howard said he has the new director of the Howard 360 on the phone. Howard took the call and they had people screaming when they saw the angle on his face. Howard said he saw that coming.
Howard said he thinks Beth posted the X-ray of Smudge. He said humanity is very dark. He said he doesn't want to hear from that Daniel Craig guy. Robin said he is great in Othello. Howard said he doesn't care.
Howard said he has to do the Letterman interview in March. He said Ralph wanted to go with him but he told him no. He said he likes it better when people show up with one or two people. He said he is going to do the Letterman thing and Toni will doll him up and that's it. He said Ralph was going to check the camera angles. He said he isn't going to bother with that. He said he can't because he knows they're going to whirl around. He said the thing he loved about the Letterman show was he looked decent. He said now they have underneath cameras. He said his neck looks weird and they'll be shooting from below. He said he will look terrible. He said Ralph said he was watching the show and he was saying he wanted to walk in and start annoying people over the cameras. Howard said this is how fucking ugly he is. He said Ralph said he might stand a chance if he checks them. Howard said he should wear a Letterman beard to cover up. He said he's just decided he's going to do that. He said he's not fucking with you.
Howard said Ralph wanted to go but he's not going to have him. He said that Julia Roberts showed up on the show alone. Gary said Bradley Cooper came on the subway alone. Howard said he's going to go by himself to Letterman. He said that's it. He said this is his attitude with the new app too. He said you'll look at him and think he looks bad. He said so what. Howard said they can do the same thing at Letterman.
Howard belched and said he just threw up. He said he threw up some blueberry and coffee. He said he's just going to go on Letterman. Robin said one of the things She likes is that it's just a conversation. Howard said he's a little leery of that. He said he doesn't know why they'd ask him to do it in Indianapolis.
Howard said he isn't preparing a fucking thing for this special either. Howard had his director back on the phone. The director said they have a new angle for him. They had the guys throwing up. Howard said they heard that already.
Robin said the Letterman thing is good and Barack asks Letterman questions. Howard said that's what he's afraid of. He said Ralph was picking out his outfit for the show and he didn't really commit. He had something for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame too. He said he looks horrible in everything he tries on. He said it's all over. Robin said She sees the smirk on his face. Howard said he's hidden behind a bank of computers so how can She see him. Robin said She has a periscope.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn (Sour Shoes) who said he's gorgeous and She can't wait to see him. She went off on Simon Cowell too. Then Howard asked to hear if Mad Dog was there. Sour went into that and then went into a Mel B impression. Howard said he bets Robin thought that was Mariann. Robin said She did. Howard said the impression is so good that he had to spell it out for her.
Howard said maybe he should say something to Benjy. He asked where he is. Benjy came in and said his face hurt yesterday. He looked better today. Howard asked what's with the fan on his face. Benjy said it helps him sleep with the sound and the wind. He said he likes it on the cold side. Howard asked why he would want the wind. Benjy said it's the sound. Howard said get a sound machine. He said he looked like a lobster yesterday. Benjy said he's not sure that caused it.
Howard asked how he's doing. Benjy said he gets real angry and stuff. He said he'd be fine with the tribute getting pushed off for 3 months. He said he gets pissed that he's not on the panel. Howard said that won't happen. He said he derails a lot of conversations. Benjy said he doesn't believe that's how he feels. Howard said he does. He said he likes Benjy though. He said maybe if that's what's causing his face turning red he'll have him in there sometimes. Howard said that was serious shit with the red face yesterday.
Benjy said a dermatologist told him he could use some stuff on it. Howard said people around there are so weird. He said he walked in to see Richard and he looked peculiar. He said he thinks Richard shaved his hair off. He said Brent was talking to him about it and that's what he did. He said it was all blotchy on his head. He said Brent was teaching him how to shave it. He said he gave him some advice on how to do it.
Howard said there was something off with Richard. He said he was staring at him and Brent told him he shaved his eyebrows off too. Howard said he knew something was off. He said he just couldn't place it. He asked why he would do that. Richard told him his eyebrows get in his eyes and he can't see. Howard asked if he's like Andy Rooney. He said he told him he can clip them or something.
Richard came in and said he was starting to look like George Whipple. He said it's comfortable. Howard said the two of them should team up. Richard said he did it himself shaving. Howard said he should do it like Brent does. He said that he has that dopey smile on his face too. Fred said this is nuts. He said seriously it's weird.
Richard said he was told he looks like he's the guy from The Hills Have Eyes. Benjy said he used to have long flowing hair. He said he thought he was a chick the first time he saw him.
Richard said he started to get a skullet which is long in the back but bald on top. Howard said alright. Richard said his wife keeps telling him to go to a barber. He said he has the clippers though. Howard said he has no fucking eyebrows. He said Benjy has a serious condition. He said it was blood red on his face.
Howard said Benjy is pissed he's not in there so he does his own show in the hall. He said he told a story about getting his ass eaten out by some lady years ago. Howard said it sounds like Benjy has a cold. Benjy said he doesn't think so. Howard said he's so out of touch he doesn't know he has a cold.
Benjy said when he was 17 or 18 he had a woman start to eat out his ass. He said She told him he'd love it. Benjy said he was at a 24 hour store like a 7-11 and he answered a pay phone. He said his woman was jabbering and She gave him her address. He said he got a ride to her place. He said this woman answered the door and She said just one of them could come in. Benjy said the woman gave him oral and then said that he'd like the rimming thing. He said She started to do it and he got grossed out.
Howard said he finds this hard to believe because he's had women close the door in his face when he shows up. Benjy said he's had that too.
Benjy said he was 17 or 18 back then and he wasn't clean down there. He said he didn't want her down there. He said he pushed her off. Benjy said it grossed him out.
Howard said he had a girl put her finger near his asshole and he clenched up. He said he didn't know about that back then. Howard asked if he fucked her. Benjy said he's not sure. Howard said you'd remember.
Howard said he has only had a couple of women who had one night stands. Fred called Benjy a blobby Rob Lowe. Blob Lowe. Benjy said he is good looking when he's thin. He said he's going to lose some weight for the Howard 360 thing. Howard said sure he will.
Howard played a song parody about Benjy being blotchy. He said he will get to his tribute today. Benjy said the guys have been coming up to him saying they're sorry they didn't get to it yet. Howard said some day those guys will figure out what the show is about.
Howard wished Richard luck with those eyebrows. Howard said he has to get to the Benjy thing but it's just clips of Benjy from over the years. He said it was supposed to be done on Monday but they get to other things and never get around to it. He said yesterday's show was fun. He said that Ralph and Memet thing was supposed to be the Benjy tribute. He said they may not get to it again today. Howard said it is interesting to see what the guys find funny about Benjy. He said it won't even be that long. He said what could happen is him doing his Kirk Douglas impression for the phony phone call. He said then the guys will start talking and they'll get into other things. He said then they'll be on a 2 week break and they'll never get to it. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard said he likes his Kirk Douglas impression. He said it's real good. He said he'd watch that show if it was real.
Howard asked if they're really going to do this. Gary said he thinks so. Ronnie said he's not so sure. He said he can't believe that story Benjy told. He asked what is wrong for him pushing that woman away. He said he was 17 or 18 and you want to experience everything. Ronnie said Howard freaked out with a finger in his ass. Howard said Ronnie is open to a lot of stuff he's not open to. He said he doesn't want anything in his ass at all. Ronnie said maybe he should try it sometime. Howard said that's feminine. Ronnie said it's fucking great when a woman milks your prostate. Howard said how about using a strap on and have the woman fuck him. Ronnie was laughing. Howard asked if he has done that. Ronnie kept laughing. Howard said he knew it. He asked if he had a woman put a strap-on on. Ronnie asked if he said that.
Howard asked if it was good. Ronnie said it was okay. He said he was up on all fours. Howard was laughing along with everyone else. Ronnie said She put lube on the dick. Howard said he has to tell him about this. He asked what happened. Ronnie said this chick was into cool shit. He said he knew her for a while. He said She had this stuff in her house. He said he had the Ben Wa balls in his ass too. He said he had the beads put up there too. Howard asked if he walked around with them in. Ronnie said She pulled them out real slow. Howard asked if he could put those four up his ass. Ronnie said he guesses so.
Howard asked how it all went down. Ronnie said it wasn't the greatest experience in his life. He said She was okay looking. He said She wasn't the hottest. He said that's why She was fun. He said She was kind of chubby. Howard asked Ronnie if She suggested the toys. Ronnie said they had been hanging out for a while. He said he didn't know She had all of this shit in her house. He said they went to her house and She had all of this shit in her drawers and shit. He said they didn't do anything too crazy like getting tied up. Howard said you'd have to tie him up to stick something in his ass.
Ronnie said he thinks She was getting off on it more than he was. He said the dick wasn't that big. He said it was maybe 6 inches. Howard said it sounds big. Ronnie said it wasn't that thick. Howard asked if She flipped him over and tried it. Ronnie said She asked about it first. He said he was up for it. Ronnie said ''at first it fucking hurt, believe me.'' Howard said he believes him. Ronnie said that these girls make it look like it's the greatest thing in the world but it's really not. Howard asked if he was jerking himself off. Ronnie said he was trying to relax while She did it. Howard asked if She pounded him. Ronnie said no. He said it was slow and easy. He said She was rubbing her tits while She did it. Howard asked if She was tickling his balls. Ronnie said She wasn't and it was all about her. He said She was pulling on her nipples and stuff like that.
Howard said holy cow. He asked if there was any shit on it when it came out. Ronnie said no. He said they did the anal beads after that. Ronnie said She pulled out the anal beads and said she'd try it next time. Ronnie said okay to that. He said he was prepared for that. He said he took a shit and washed his ass out. Howard said Ronnie likes this kind of stuff. Ronnie said once in a while it's kind of cool.
Brent asked if she's the one who massaged his prostate. Ronnie said She was. He said She had her finger up his ass when he blew his load. He said that was great. Howard said he should try being with a guy. Ronnie said he doesn't want that. Howard said he's fluid.
Howard asked if he's Bi. The guys said they think so. Howard said he's one step away from it. Brent said he's doing it all with a woman. Ronnie said he always thought about being a chick for a day. Howard said Memet will fuck him right now.
Jason asked if he got slapped in the ass at all. Ronnie said no. Howard said he can't believe he took a 6 inch cock in his ass. Howard said this polish girl tried to stick her finger up his ass and he stopped her. Howard said he likes to put his penis in a woman and he doesn't need more. He said he doesn't want anything in his ass. Ronnie said he has never tried it. Howard said he knows he doesn't want to try suicide. He said it's like a test. He said his kids told him that they got a 120 on a test and there is no such thing. He said that's like needing more than sticking his dick in a woman. He doesn't need more than 100.
Howard said he was with a woman once. He said he was fucking her from behind. He said She took his dick and shoved it in her ass like a pro. Ronnie said that's a good girl. Howard said Ronnie knows her. Ronnie said he knows the story. Howard said if She wants that then it's fine. He said it's not his favorite thing. He said he doesn't want anything in his asshole. Brent asked if he would take a tongue up his ass. Howard said he doesn't want that. He said he's heard Heroin is a good feeling. HE's not going to try that. Howard said it's going to be bad for a woman if She goes in there. He said no one has ever wanted that with him.
Brent asked if Howard has ever stuck a finger in a woman's ass. Howard said no. Ronnie said he's stuck his finger in both and he can feel his fingers between the ass and the vagina. Brent said he's felt that too. Howard said he's never done that. He did an impression of Ronnie talking about that. Fred did his Ronnie impression talking about that too.
Jason asked if Ronnie would have blown the dildo before he got fucked by it. Ronnie said sure if it turns her on. He said a real man will do that stuff for a woman. Howard said he's very accommodating.
Howard did his Ronnie voice talking about the anal stuff and shoving things in a woman. He and Fred were both doing that. Ronnie said Memet does that kind of stuff with women. Memet said he doesn't do anything crazy.
Howard said Ronnie is Bi. Ronnie said he's not. He said he's not taking a real dick in his ass. He said he doesn't want to. He said if the girl is into it then why not do it. Memet asked if he would let a transgender woman fuck him. Ronnie said no. Howard asked if he'd let Tula put his dick in him. Ronnie said no. He said that's not his thing.
Memet showed Ronnie a picture of a transgender woman and asked if he would let her do things to him. Ronnie said if he didn't know maybe. Howard said lets say she's blowing him and he's hard as a fucking rock. Howard asked if he would stop. Ronnie said he's not sure what the answer would be. Ronnie said he isn't going to take a dick in his ass.
Howard said he thinks he's just embarrassed. Ronnie said he's not. Howard said he had a dildo in his ass. Ronnie said he didn't take it all in. Howard said the massaged prostate is crazy too. Ronnie said it's not.
Howard said Ronnie has told a gay staffer to fuck him in the ass. Memet said he was doing that this week. Ronnie said he does that all the time.
Brent said that they have a scale for that and maybe Ronnie is like a 2 on that scale. Howard asked if Brent has had a finger up his ass. Brent said he has. He said that's the best load you'd ever blow in your life. Howard said he's never going to find out.
Howard said Ronnie has a hungry asshole. Ronnie said he doesn't see anything wrong with it. Howard asked if Brent has had a vibrator in his ass. Brent said no. Howard said Ronnie has. Ronnie said it wasn't in his ass. He said it was right under his balls. He said it's a great spot. He said it's a weird feeling.
Howard said Ronnie's asshole is on the phone. He took the call from the guys in the back and they were doing a voice asking for them to kill him.
Howard said he just doesn't get this. Ronnie said he doesn't get them. Howard said he isn't into it. He said he's with Beth and she's not going to stick a dildo up his ass. Ronnie said he doesn't do that shit anymore either.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he knew Ronnie was gay. Howard took another call from a guy who said he's gay and he told a girl one time how to massage her boyfriend's prostate and She had to break up with him because that's all he ever wanted to do.
Howard asked Robin if She has ever put a dildo up an ass. Robin said no. Howard took a call from a woman whose phone was cutting out. She said Ronnie isn't gay, he's just an adventurous guy. Her phone cut out again. Howard asked if phone services are getting bad. Brent said it's terrible. Howard said they missed like 5 words in that call.
Howard said he is a Verizon guy. Robin said it's still bad. Howard said it's better than the other ones. Jason said that Verizon never runs those deals that the other ones do. Howard said he has a hard line in his house. Robin said there is a reason to have a hard wired phone in your house. Howard said he has to use that to call his mom. Gary said cell phone to cell phone calls are very hard. Howard said he gets ogida from it.
Howard asked Fred if he's ever had a finger up his ass or anything like that. Fred said no other than the doctor. Howard said the irony is that Ronnie won't get a colonoscopy. Ronnie said that has to do with the anesthesia. Howard said he must be afraid of cumming. Ronnie said he had that thing up his ass when they did the biopsy. He said he only had a local for that. He said he still got all fucked up from that. He said any anesthesia gets him fucked up. Ronnie said even the local stuff gets him fucked up.
Ronnie said they have this new thing where you shit in a box and mail it off to be tested. Howard asked if it stinks. Ronnie said he doesn't know and that's not his problem. Ronnie said they advertise it on TV. Howard said he never watches commercials. He said he won't even look at ads on the internet. He said he has an ad blocker. Gary said he does too and he has stopped visiting sites because they won't let him look at them without ads.
Howard said just go to the doctor and get a colonoscopy. Ronnie said he can shit in a box. He said he's done that before. Howard said let a real doctor do it then. Ronnie said that's not how it's done. Howard asked what shitting in a box tells you. Ronnie said they can tell from your shit if you have shit going on. Howard said he has said shit like 4 times in a row.
Memet said they ask you what's in the box. Ronnie said they show it on the commercial that the UPS guy drives up and gives you the box. Howard asked what's in the commercial. Ronnie said that they show the guy bringing the box and then the guy takes it. He said they show the guy taking a shit and boxing it up. He said they don't show that part but they show the guy putting it on the step and the UPS guy picking it up.
Howard said that reminds him of when Ronnie shit in his underwear and changed in his car and threw it out in the park. Ronnie said he has shit in a box before too. Howard said it's not as good as a colonoscopy. Jason said he's on the site now and they said it's not a replacement for a colonoscopy. Howard said they'll tell you that you need a colonoscopy.
Jason said that Ronnie is high risk. Ronnie asked why because he's never had a problem. Howard said if they catch it early they can save you. He said if it's too late then you're dead. Jason said his dad died of colon cancer. He said it wasn't good. He said he's going to get checked starting at 42 or something instead of 50. Brent said that Sam Simon had that too and it was tough to see him go through that.
Gary asked if putting stuff in your ass makes you more prone to getting something in there. Howard said yes. Ronnie asked why. Howard said it's not meant to have that much activity back there. Ronnie said gay guys do it all the time. Howard said not all the time.
Howard said he has to do this and move on. He said they're running out of time again. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard said J-Lo is with A-Rod and she's doing some private show. He said it was for Patriots fans to console them for losing the Super Bowl. Howard said suddenly She says to the fans ''Where's my man A-Rod?'' She didn't know that the Boston fans don't like the Yankees. Howard said She seems so surprised by it. Howard played some audio of the clip he was talking about. He said sex between those two must be disgusting. Ronnie said Spanish girls love that anal shit. He said it's not all of them but a lot of them. Howard asked if it's all Spanish or just people who speak Spanish. Ronnie said it's Puerto Rican girls. He said they like getting it too.
Howard asked Ronnie what Chinese girls like. Ronnie said he doesn't know. Howard asked what he thinks J-Lo is doing. Ronnie said he doesn't know but he'd eat the shit out of her ass. He said she's smoking hot. Howard asked if he's ever seen her in person. Ronnie said no. Howard was going to say something about that but he stopped himself.
Howard said Ronnie thinks that she's doing something wild to A-Rod. Ronnie said he doesn't know anything. Ronnie said She seems to be a fun girl. He said he thinks A-Rod would be into taking a dildo up his ass. Howard asked if he isn't cool for not doing that. Ronnie said he never said that. Howard asked if he can picture him on all fours with Beth sticking something up his ass. Ronnie laughed. Howard said he must picture him being very feminine. Howard asked if he heard Beth was doing that what would he think. Ronnie said it would be the best thing in the world. He said he doesn't get it. Howard said he's a fucking maniac.
Ronnie asked what the big deal is. Howard said he's all bent over and getting something up his ass. Howard said he's on all fours and Beth is sticking Vaseline on a 16 inch piece of plastic. Ronnie said it's not plastic, it's soft rubber. Howard said not only that but he's hard as a rock. Ronnie said there's nothing wrong with that. Howard said just picture him doing it.
Howard said he thinks this guy is going to transition any day now. Jason said they have had so many gay guests on who won't admit to getting it in the ass. He said Ronnie has no problem with it. Howard said he's not gay. Howard said that ass is like a highway. He said Trump just called for a billion in infrastructure for his ass. Ronnie said it's not taboo if you're ding it with a girl. Howard said it's a girl with a cock. Ronnie said it's a fake cock.
Howard said J-Lo should understand that Boston fans aren't going to like A-Rod. He played the clip he started to play earlier. A-Rod got booed when he came out. J-Lo said She begged him to come out. A-Rod was saying that they all probably think ''What is She doing with him.'' Howard said she's clearly as dumb as a box of rocks. He said that he is trying desperately to relate to the crowd. He said he is a great looking guy and he's a famous baseball player. He said she's so clueless.
Howard said Ronnie is over there fantasizing about J-Lo. Howard said She wasn't nice to him so she's his enemy now. He said he doesn't like her.
Howard asked where Robin was. Robin said She was taking in her clips. She said it's so funny that J-Lo thinks everyone is so into her relationship that they care. Howard said it's funny to hear that. He said A-Rod has enough luck for all of us. Ronnie said he's been on Shark Tank a lot. He said he has a lot of companies. Howard said he'll be bankrupt in a few years if he keeps that up.
Jason said he's buddies with Warren Buffet so he might be getting advice from him. Howard said he'd love to sit in on that meeting. He said Buffet has an IQ of probably 200. Robin said he's at least as smart as Memet.
Howard said they had a clip of a basketball game at a high school and someone is screaming the names of the players. Howard said this is a high school basketball game and the kid is yelling like he's at a playoff game. Howard played the clip and the kid was going nuts yelling out the names. No one was even there watching.
Howard said someone thought it was radio gold. Howard said that's what he thought too. Robin said for a while there they were going to have sex. Memet said he out douched him yesterday. Howard said he sure did. Howard read more about Memet and some people like him on the air. He said most of the complaints were about his voice being too nasal. He said he has hundreds of pages of email about Memet and Ralph. Memet said he had therapy yesterday and he's feeling very good about it. He said his therapist was telling him he was going after them too hard. He said he was triggering Brent, Jason and Gary. Jason asked what the trigger was. Memet said that Jason was upset about some things he said. Jason said he really wasn't. Memet said he was thinking about this and he thinks that Brent, Jason and Gary should be put on a hiatus from being on air. He said some people can't handle it emotionally. Gary said he's going to go in the back and have a cry.
Memet said that they're all unspooling. Brent said he's completely delusional. Ronnie said that he got a lecture from Memet this morning. He said he and Brent had a disagreement and after they had their disagreement he figured it out in his head that this was his job and he works with the guy so he has to get along with him. He said they made up at the Christmas party. Brent said he's known Ronnie for a long time. Ronnie said Memet doesn't get it and he thinks everyone is against him.
Memet, Ronnie and Brent were all talking over each other. Brent said Memet is the most full of himself person there and he's just a shit bird. He said he's the worst employee there. Memet said he cares about him. Brent said all he cares about is what the audience thinks about him.
Jason said they found out something about Memet yesterday. He said someone unfollowed him and he keeps track of who unfollows him with an app. Memet said he thinks it's interesting. He said he might hurt Brent's feelings with this. Jason said Brent blocked Memet. Brent said he didn't block him. Memet said that Brent's wife unfollowed him and Brent did 10 minutes later. Brent said his wife had nothing to do with that. He said he just did it because he is not a good human being. He said he's indifferent toward him. Memet said he likes Brent. Howard asked why he cares about who follows him. Memet said it's fun to find out who is following him and unfollowing him.
Howard said this is ridiculous. He said he has his therapist on the phone. He picked up on the guys in the back who were doing the impression of the therapist. Howard spent a minute with that.
Memet said that he thinks that Brent and Gary are like Imus. He said they were on top and now a young guy is there and they're talking about him. He said they're not on top anymore. Howard asked if he thinks they're jealous of his fame. Memet said yes. He said he knows that they lash out of him but they should channel that energy into something more productive. Brent said he should channel his energy into work and not social media.
Howard said he's going to think about taking Brent and Gary off the air like he suggested. He said keep Ronnie on the panel. Memet said Ronnie can handle it. He said it's getting tough for these guys so he thinks they need therapy.
Memet said he needs 5 more seconds. He said he has some advice for Jason. He said a week ago he called him an arrogant piece of shit. He said he handled it like a professional and yesterday he mentioned the PA thing and Jason was so pouty yesterday afternoon. He said he did get better later on. He said he was very snippy with him.
Jason said everything he said is true and they should get kicked off the panel. Gary said he thinks Memet is his own worst enemy. He said he's very self destructive. Brent said he always fucks over his teammates. Brent asked the guys if they agree. Jason said his insane social media use and lack of judgment is bad. He said the staff has to stay off social media because of Memet. Memet said he was very calm and he wasn't saying anything and this is the triggering.
Gary said a lot of people tell him about Memet and he uses very poor judgment. Gary said they have a file on him and it's full of stuff that people have told them. Brent kept calling him a shit bird.
Memet said there is only one other man on this staff. He said it's Jon Hein. He said when he had his meltdown Jon did something. The guys were all talking over him and Robin said Gary just said he might not be there in a year if he keeps this up.
Memet said when he had his meltdown the guys were lashing out at him. He said he said some nasty things about Jon like how no woman in New York would fuck him. He also said he thought he was lying about the 80 blow job story. He said now he thinks he wasn't lying. Memet said that afternoon he apologized to Jon and he accepted it like a man. He said there was never any acting like a lady or anything. Jason said he is making this up in his head. Howard said Jon was getting something of a nod there. Memet said he apologizes to him and the whole country.
Howard said the office is saying that Jason was acting pouty yesterday. Jason said he will take that under advisement.
Howard asked when the IQ test is going to happen. Jason said it's going to happen soon. Howard said that they have the David Bowie tribute coming up on Friday night at 10pm on Howard 101. He said he was talking about Steve Brandano yesterday. He said a lot of people worked on that. Howard asked when the IQ test is happening. Jason said the tests are being taken next week and the results will happen when they return from vacation.
Memet said he cares about Brent and he knows that he has to be viewed as the smart guy. He said he can kiss his boot now and say he's the smartest and they don't have to do the IQ test thing. Brent said offer rejected. Robin asked if that came from therapy. Howard said he has to meet this therapist.
Brent said that was Memet trying to back out of the test. He said it's all about him. He said he's the one who is pouty and he's the one who wants out of the test.
Memet said he's putting that offer out again. Brent said he's not taking it. Memet said that he doesn't think it's fair that Jason is getting the results of the test. He said he has a dog in this fight. Howard said now he sounds like Trump. He said that Jason can be a professional. He said he's not going to do anything. Memet said that's fair. He said he wouldn't put it past him to change the numbers. Robin said the doctor will be there. Jason confirmed that. They said maybe only the doctor will have the numbers.
Memet asked if they can be friends today. Jason said he's not his friend. He said he just works with him. Gary asked who Memet's real friends are there. Memet said he some people who aren't on the air.
Howard said he has to get to the Benjy tribute. He took a call from a guy who said he has to stop stalling with this Benjy tribute. Howard said he isn't stalling. The caller said that it's interesting to him to hear the Benjy thing. Howard said it's not going to be that interesting.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said fuck Benjy and chanted that over and over. She said he's a low life on the Wrap Up Show. Gary said she's been threatening him in messages. She said She says ''You know what you did.'' Mariann said he treats the fans like shit. She said that he doesn't have to go outside and he can be shitty to the fans. She said the fact that he gets a chance to go on the Wrap Up Show isn't right.
Howard let Mariann keep yelling while Benjy came in. Mariann said he's an asshole. Howard asked Benjy what he has to say. Benjy said he has no idea what she's saying he did. Howard said they pranked her with him the other day. Mariann said that's not it. Mariann was yelling but Benjy was talking over her. Mariann said he wanted her to suck his dick. Howard asked if this is a #MeToo thing. Mariann was yelling and not getting her story out. Howard said he has to clear Benjy's name. He said they did a funny thing with him.
Howard said Mariann hates Benjy so much and they taped him as a call screener the other day. He said they had Benjy telling Mariann that he wants to be her friend. Howard played the bit they did and Benjy said that he is being affected by this. He said he has to answer calls now. Mariann said that Karma is a bitch. Mariann said she'll tell him what he did if he talks to her in person. She said She told Howard to go fuck off. She said he can't do that. Benjy started yelling at her and asked who the fuck She thinks She is. Benjy told Mariann She has to say something nice about him on the air to get on the air. Mariann said no way. She said she's not doing it. She told him to leave her alone.
Howard sand the guys were laughing. Howard said that was off the air. Ronnie said She really hates him. Benjy said that wasn't even a prank call it was more of a conversation. Howard asked if it's weird to have her hate him so much. Benjy said it is. Howard said he thinks that he could get her to kill him.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Mariann from Brooklyn impression. He was going off on Benjy and Ronnie in that voice. Howard said he's so good at this that he has to tell people it's not Mariann. Howard had Sour doing the Aqualung riff thing with the comments. Howard asked Sour if he could have a conversation with Mariann trading off lines with the Aqualung riff. Sour was up for it. Howard got Mariann on and had her and Sour trading off lines. It was hard to tell which one was which. Howard said you can't tell the difference.
Howard said that impression is so good he can't tell the difference. Howard said he's going to try to tell which one is which. Mariann was saying something about some pictures. Howard said it's unbelievable. He said he's going to poke out his ear drums.
Howard said he's lost. He said that was actually Sour Shoes. Mariann said it was her. Howard was asking who that was. Robin thought it was Sour but it was Mariann. Howard asked who that was. Mariann yelled it was her. Howard said he still doesn't know who it is. Benjy said maybe Sour has been Mariann the whole time.
Howard asked which real person just said stop following Jon Hein to the bus stop. Sour did his Gary impression and said he thinks that was Sour. Howard said that was Mariann... or Sour. Howard said he's so confused.
Gary thought he had it figured out. He thought it was Mariann but it may have been Sour Shoes. Howard said he just hung up on Mariann a few minutes ago. He asked Sour to do one more Mariann. Sour did it and Howard said he loves that his parents are probably trying to sleep with that going on.
Howard said maybe they will get to the tribute. He said he has to do some commercials though. He did a live commercial read and went to break.
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Memet said the poll should have been ''who is a nicer person.'' Howard had them take the poll over again. Memet said he can read the poll if he wants to. Robin said she's not sure who is nicer. Robin said She likes Jason. She said that She likes Memet but Jason more. Ronnie said it bothers him because he was in the green room looking at a text message from Stephanie and he asked who was being knocked more, him or Jason.
Howard said forget about the office poll. Then he asked if they want to hear it. Everyone said yes. Howard said they asked who they like more Jason or Memet. 17 people picked... Memet knew it and said it has to be Jason. Robin asked how many were polled. Gary said 16. Howard said there were 17 plus 8... Memet had the answer. Howard said he's in the middle of doing his math. He came up with 38. Howard said that they polled them and found 17 people picked... Jason. He said 10 people picked Memet and 8 abstained. Jason asked who is abstaining. Howard said 3 people said it depends on the day. He said if you look at it then it could have been close. Gary said if everyone had voted for Memet he would have won by a little bit. Howard said it sounds like both of them are unlikable.
Howard said f they start the Benjy tribute they only have 15 minutes for it. He said he's going to get to that after these words. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard said he was so excited about this that he tweeted out a reminder. Brent said they got a lot of press about it yesterday. He said they have so many artists from so many formats that they got really wide press. Howard said he saw some of the bands were tweeting about it. He said you'll love the special. He said just put it on at 10 and let it rip. Robin said he said paint before but now just let it rip. Howard said he was trying to be funny. Robin said She got an easel. Howard said he'll pay her back for it. Brent said this is going to sound great baked.
Howard asked if Ronnie smokes weed. Ronnie said once in a while. Howard said he knows he's into that Tanqueray is his thing. Ronnie said that he went to dinner with Howard's agent Don and they had Hendrick's and Tonic. He said he tried it and it's great. Howard asked if he still has Tanqueray. Ronnie said sometimes he will. He said sometimes but it's not constant. He said he will do the weed thing too. He said he did it in San Francisco and he ate it. He said that was with the block party. He said he thought he was going to jail. He said he went to the TSA guy and he asked him to take his sunglasses off. He said he was paranoid and thought he was going to jail.
Howard asked Shuli if he gave Ronnie an edible. Ronnie said he did. Shuli said he had some before. Ronnie said he smokes weed and he feels good from a couple of hits. He said he can do more than a couple sometimes. He said this guy gives him a rice cake. He said he didn't know it was going to take a while. He said he didn't feel shit so he asked for more. Ronnie said he was on the stage throwing chairs at Scott. He said he was beating him with a mic stand.
Shuli said they were at a diner after the show and Ronnie said to him he wasn't able to feel his fucking face. He said he was still fucking with him so he asked if he ate the rice cake. He said he told Ronnie he didn't eat any of it. He said his face went white as a ghost. He said Ronnie was completely out of it. Ronnie said they didn't let him back in the restaurant. He said that's how fucked up he was. He was thrown out of a 24 hour diner.
Howard said he must have looked really crazy. Shuli said he looked his age. Howard asked who got him high on a vape pen. Ronnie asked who told him that. He said he only tried one with a neighbor. Ronnie said they were still in Vegas and he was still fucked up so he walked from one end of the strip to the other carrying suitcases. He said it was like 100 degrees out. He said he sweat it out.
Shuli said Ronnie asked if he heard him laughing his balls off in his room and he's like at the other end of the hotel. He said he was laughing his balls off for no reason.
Howard said listen to the Bowie special. He asked if anyone has heard the whole thing. Gary said he did. Howard said he got attacked on Twitter. He said he never tweets so he put a link to the web site. Howard said people were like ''fuck you'' and ''you're a fucking asshole'' and things. He said people said Bowie has been dead for like 2 years. He said he just put together 25 artists to do Bowie songs and they're attacking him. He said he can't wait to retire. Brent said he doesn't blame him. Ronnie said he can't take it serious. He said they all love you. Howard said they never say it to your face.
Howard said he just tweeted the link that Jason sent to him and people were going off on him about that. He asked what kind of fans they are. He said everyone said he's doing it wrong. He said he needs a Twitter coach. He said he's not that into Twitter. Ronnie said he loves it. Howard said they know that.
Howard said he got a report about what Ronnie did on Twitter this morning. He said he tweeted 15 times before the show started. Ronnie said he has an hour before he gets Howard there. He said he sit there in the dark. Howard read about what he tweeted out this morning. One of the things was a woman's ass. He said Ronnie also answered some questions that fans were asking.
Howard said he's sitting out there tweeting. Ronnie said it's on his own time. Howard said just do it like once or twice. Ronnie said he answers his fans and they love it. Brent said he answers every single Direct Message he gets. Howard asked what he did before Twitter. He said he could read a book. Howard said he's reading a great book right now. He said it's written by a guy who was a war photographer. He said he got captured in Syria. He said he just started it. He said he's not sure what it's called. Robin asked why he reads these books. Howard said he thinks it was a dude. He said he saw the guy being interviewed one day and he thought he had to read the book. He said he's interested in his story. Howard asked if he's supposed to talk to these guys all day.
Howard said he is going to skip the Benjy tribute again. Gary said he's not feeling it. Howard said he's not either.
Howard said the book might be ''The Shattered Lens: A War Photographer's True Story of Captivity and Survival in Syria.'' He said he thinks that's it. He said he's not going to worry about it.
Ronnie asked why he reads when he could be doing stuff with chicks. Howard said it gives him pleasure to learn. Ronnie was going to ask a question but he was laughing too hard to get it out. Howard said Ronnie must be having an edible flashback.
Robin said how about reading that book that She gave him. Howard said he only reads on Kindle. Robin gave him the actual book. He said it's like 800 pages of torture. He said he's downloading it on his Kindle.
Howard let the guys go and said he'll get to the Benjy tribute after their vacation. Howard thanked the guys for coming in even though they didn't get to Benjy's tribute. Howard said they had some fun with Mariann from Brooklyn and with Memet and Jason. He said it is news time though. He did a live commercial read.
Robin read a story about the pope who stepped down and went into retirement. Robin said now he says his life is ending. Robin said he's dying. Robin said Pope Benedict is 90 years old now. He says that he is the first pope to step down in 6 decades. Robin said he's having a hard time getting around now. Howard said people are now living well into 100. He said he may live longer than he thinks.
Robin read about a Dancing with the Stars bus crashing in Iowa. Robin said it was part of a massive pile up.
Robin read a story about a Philadelphia Eagles fan getting away with a stolen seat from the Super Bowl. Robin said he managed to get it out of the stadium and in his luggage on his way home. Robin said it's being investigated. Howard said the guy that fascinated him is the guy who ate the horse shit after the Eagles won. Howard said the guy just ran over and ate the police horse shit. He said he's not sure why he would do such a thing. Howard said he wants to interview that guy. He said he's going to be a Philadelphia celebrity. He said the same thing about the guy who was chasing a train and ran into a pole.
Howard said tomorrow they're expecting 2 million people at the parade. He said the guy who ate the shit will probably be on a float. He said he's not sure he could even get him on the air. He bets he gets the key to the city. He said the mayor should say he's a real fan. He put Philly on the map. Howard said he's met celebrities who have to have the attention but he's never seen a guy like this guy who ate the horse shit. He said it must be the same drive that drives the Kardashians. He said it's very strong with some people.
Howard said the guy who stole the seat is something but the guy who ate the horse shit is on another level. He said he's going to be thinking of things to do when he's being taped. Howard said this Philly crowd was going berserk. He said he stopped the crowd. He said at one point the guy was making sure they were watching him. He said the best part is when he moves his scarf out of the way to not get shit on it.
Howard had Richard come in to talk about that clip. He said he's the new number 1 fan. He said people were upset with Richard in the email. Richard said sorry. He said he's sure they'll honor this guy at Wing Bowl next year. He said there's another guy who had an Eagles mask on and he had big boobs. He said he was a hero at Wing Bowl too.
Howard read some email about Richard and how he's a ''fair weather cunt'' and a ''geographical traitor.'' Howard had some people complaining about him being a phony with his team picks. Howard said some people were fine with it because he's going with his girl.
Howard said everyone agreed with him about JD and the Chipotle thing. He said that no one thinks he should go there for Valentine's day. Howard read some email and said he watched JD eat lunch yesterday. Richard said he got so annoyed with him too. He said it was great. Howard said he thinks JD's wife packed him a sandwich. He said it was two pieces of bread and it was like only two pieces of bread. JD said there was chicken in there. JD said he packed it himself too. He said it was thin chicken. He said he's trying to extend it through the week. He said he used two slices and some cheese. Howard said he was watching JD eat that and he had an apple on his desk with Pirates Booty. He said the bag was closed and the apple wasn't eaten. He said he told JD maybe open up the Pirate Booty and eat it with the sandwich. He said JD told him to leave him alone. JD said he has an order of things and that's what he does. Howard said Fred used to do that too. He said if he has potatoes as a side he eats it with the main course. JD said he eats in order. Howard asked JD if he would mix food at all. JD said he eats each thing individually. Howard said he's so dumbfounded. He said it's the stupidest thing he's ever heard.
Howard said just combo the Pirate Booty with the sandwich. He said he's sure that apple never got eaten either. JD said he ate it. Richard said the way JD gets annoyed with Howard is so funny. Howard said it's like going to the zoo and watching the animals. Richard said JD's girl came to the Eagles game with them. Howard said he's not invited to the wedding is he. Richard said he doesn't think so.
Howard took a call from JD's wedding planner. She said they have a special section for friends from work and that's going to be empty. She said they'll have horse blinders on JD so She doesn't have to see anyone and panic. Howard asked what kind of food they'll have. The planner said they can't have rice because JD will start counting the rice. Howard said he can't be there. He let the planner go a short time later.
Howard said he knows JD puts that apple out so he'll see it. JD said stop it. Robin said he does that for Howard. Howard said he can't believe he eats one thing at a time. He asked Fred if he does that. Fred said he has dropped that habit if he did that before.
Robin said that sometimes they mix things together at the restaurants. She asked if JD will eat that. Howard said he must separate it. JD said he'll eat it like it is. Howard played a song parody about JD. He said he's seen JD mix up stuff like Mac and Cheese and potatoes. He said it's all carbs. JD said he's tried to get better with that. Howard asked what's for lunch today. JD said it's the same stuff he had yesterday.
Robin asked why he has to ration out his chicken. JD said it was there but Howard just didn't see it. Howard had him bring in the sandwich. He said there's no meat on it. He said it looks like whole wheat. JD said it's not. He forgot what it was. Howard took a look and there was some ham in there. Robin said there is hardly any space between the bread. Robin said it doesn't have lettuce or tomato on it. JD said there's mayonnaise. Howard said that's great with his belly. Howard said his button fell off his shirt yesterday. JD said it didn't. He said Jason saw a button went out of it's space. He said it didn't pop off. He said it was still on the shirt.
Howard asked when he has that bag of chips there has he ever thought about eating the sandwich with the chips. JD said no. He said he doesn't like that. Howard said he wants to coach him about that today. JD said he's going to eat early. Howard told Robin to hurry up with her news so he can go out there. Howard said Robin should come out with him and she'll love it.
Howard said JD's shirt was so tight it looked like it was going to rip at any second. He said he's trying to help JD but he sees it as critiquing him. Howard said someone else was out there watching him. JD said it was probably Ronnie. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a New Hampshire woman who won $560 million in a Powerball jackpot wants the fortune but not the fame that goes with it. Robin said the woman is suing the state officials to keep her name private. Robin said the woman's lawyer values her privacy and She doesn't want the spotlight. Robin said She signed the back of the ticket. She said She didn't know that you could opt out of being identified.
Robin said She wishes the religious community would make up their minds. She said they're calling for a stop of wine drinking at mass in New York City. They want to stop the passing on of the flu bug. Robin said they have another Texas televangelist who says you don't need a flu shot because Jesus is their flu shot. Howard said this clip drove him nuts. He said these are people raising money on TV. He said that this woman raised money so her husband could have a private jet. Howard played a clip of this woman talking about the flu and how you should not get a flu shot because Jesus already had their flu shot. Howard did an impression of this kook for a short time. He said he hopes She dies from the flu. He doesn't wish death on anyone usually but that would be funny if She died from the flu.
Howard said her husband was the guy who was praying for a Gulfstream plane. He had some audio of the guy talking about getting his plane that is debt free. He said this guy looks like his high school gym teacher.
Howard said he could get into this with some other maniac. He said he has a Mary Colbert clip. JD said he's seen her with Jim Bakker. Howard said they woke up a coma patient. Howard played the clip and Mary was talking about how they walked into a room with a coma patient and they rebuked the spirit of death off of her and brought the patient back less than 2 days later. Howard said she's telling you they woke up the dead. Robin said they have no film but they have stories. Howard said this woman is a kook. He had more audio of her talking about Donald Trump and how you have to recognize a ''chosen one.'' Howard did an impression of her talking about how Obama was a fuck up by God. She said if you go against the chosen one you are bringing on the curse. Howard said ''Oggidy Boogidy.''
Howard said he has a clip of this Kevin Swanson guy going into a rant about the movie ''The Shape of Water.'' Howard said it's a nice story and this guy ruined it. He said it's going to bring the end of the world. Howard played the clip and the guy went off on the movie saying it promotes bestiality or cross species breeding. Howard did an impression of that guy for a short time too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said you should see the size of this Dennis Copeland guy's compound. He said you can't even go around his road because he bought it. He said he has to drive 20 miles out of his way to get to his farm. Howard asked who is donating to these guys. The caller said his neighbor does. Howard did his impression of the guy asking for money so he can get two hot tubs. Howard said there are so many people out there who fall for this nonsense. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Jim Carrey quitting Facebook and dumping his Facebook stock. Robin said he's urging others to do the same. Robin said Jim is saying that they need activist investors to get responsible oversight of these sites. Howard said he loves Jim but that's a tough one to get people on board with. He said he's not giving up Facebook. He said he's not on it that much but he checks in.
Robin read a story about the house prohibiting sexual relationships between them and their workers. Robin said 8 house members have had to resign over sexual harassment.
Robin said Nicole Eggert has filed charges against Scott Baio saying She was sexually assaulted when She was under age.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he used to listen to Earth Dog Fred in Connecticut. Howard said Ed Torian wants to give Scott Baio a lie detector test on the show. He said he'll get to that after this caller makes his point. The caller said he eats food like JD does. He said he wants to taste it all individually. Howard said grow up. He said he's not helping JD.
Howard had audio of Ed Torian saying he's willing to give Scott Baio a free polygraph to clear his name. Howard said no charge. Howard said come on in Scott and they'll get it all straightened out. Howard asked when Ed became polygraph for the stars. Gary said he gave one to Pam Anderson. Maybe that's where he got it. Howard said good for Ed. He said maybe someone has anointed him.
Robin read a story about Steve Wynn resigning as chairman of his own company. Robin said this is another guy who lost his own company. Howard asked how you lose your own company. Robin said if you have a board they can fire you. Robin said he was accused of sexual misconduct by several women and fired from the Republican National Committee.
Howard said Arnold Schwarzenegger is on the line to talk about sexual harassment. Howard had the phony Arnold clips on the line to talk about that. He spent a couple of minutes with phony Arnold.
Robin read a story about a man who was accused of filming men in a YMCA locker room with his cell phone. Robin had some audio of a cop talking about what to do if you see someone with a phone and recording like that.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his George Takei impression talking about filming in a locker room.
Robin read a story about Rose McGowan getting into a verbal altercation with a transgender person. Robin said this person confronted her about not being supportive enough of the transgender population and Rose had a meltdown. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Robin said that Rose has canceled all future public appearances. Robin said she's not sure why this trans person was yelling at her like She was supposed to do something. Howard said Fred has to stop jerking off to that.
Robin read a story about how President Trump is asking for our military to do a parade. Howard said they do that in Korea a lot. Robin said a lot of little countries like to do that. Howard said he heard Richard is taking a day off of work to go to that parade. Robin had some audio of a news report about the parade. Howard said he thinks Trump will have some hot chicks in the parade. Robin said she's not sure about that.
Robin said Sarah Sanders is in the news. Howard said she's Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Robin said She seems to be trying to drop the Huckabee. Robin had some audio of Sanders going off about something. Howard said she's got no inflection in that voice. He said it's like the way his mother used to yell at him. He said he may have her on the phone. He picked up and had a Sanders impersonator talking about a few things. He let her go a short time later. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Today's show was over around 10:55am.
Today's replay show was over around 10:55am.