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Howard started the show with a George Takei announce for Cocktober. Howard said today is Monday and they have a lot to get to. Howard said he was just telling the boys about the Jimmy Kimmel show that he did last week. He said Gary was there but he was avoiding him and didn't say hello. Howard said Beth and Ralph came over with him too. Howard said he told Ralph he didn't have to go though. He said Ralph picked out his clothing and he wanted to give him a once over. Howard said he promised not to do anything to annoy him. He said he told him he didn't need him there. He came anyway.
Howard said he told Ralph he could stay. He said he doesn't really get on his nerves. He said he let in the pre-interview staff too. Howard said Jimmy and his wife didn't come in. He said his family stayed out of his dressing room too. Howard said his whole family lives out in L.A. now. Howard said half his family works for him and that's incredible to him. Robin asked if it's nepotism or do they work. Howard said his cousin Sal is funny. He said he met a cousin who works there and Beth said he knows her. Howard said her name is Mickey. Gary said he's not sure how she's related. Howard said Beth knew her. Howard said he doesn't know Mickey.
Gary asked if he knows Chippy. Howard said he has met them all before. He said before he does a show he doesn't want to be disturbed. He said they all seem to come in. Howard said this time they were all put on notice. Howard said he walked in and you would have thought Darth Vader walked in. He said he didn't see anyone. Howard said they had a big TV on and they had his past shows playing. Howard said he had them turn that off. He said he had to think about what he had to do. Howard said this was about him. He said he's a pill. Robin said it was late in the day. Howard said it really was. He said he did this show and they did 4.5 hours of that. He said it's a lot of talking. After the show he tried to take a nap. He said that lasted for 5 minutes. He said he was all charged up. He said he went to work out at the gym for an hour. He said that really wore him out.
Howard said he went to Kimmel and they asked if he wanted anything. He said he was told he should drink coffee to wake him up. He said he never does that except on Tuesdays for their staff meeting. Howard said this is why he doesn't want to do talk shows. Howard said Jimmy asked if he wanted to go see Springsteen. Howard said of course he does. He said Jimmy wanted to do it after doing the show. Howard wondered how he gets tickets. Howard said Gary told him he can't get them. Howard said he thought famous people could call over and get tickets. He said Jimmy told him that he just had his assistant call over to get them and he got the tickets. Howard said he doesn't ask for a lot. He said Gary just doesn't know how to do it.
Howard said he doesn't go to Broadway at all. He said he has issues with it. Howard said he thought about the coffee thing and how he would have to pee after drinking it. Howard said he might drink it and then he'd have to pee. He said he'd go out to eat after the show and then he'd have to pee. Howard said it's a 2 hour show and they don't have an intermission. He said he'd be miserable at the show. Howard said he was thinking about how to do this. He said he did Jimmy's show and he had the coffee. He said he'll tell you all about that. Howard said after the show he went back to his dressing room to pee. He said that was a smart move. He said he was standing there trying to pee and it wasn't coming. He said when he has to pee he can't do it. Howard said Ralph and Beth are in the dressing room and they were told to get out. Howard said Cardi B was performing on the show and she had like 5000 guys around her. Howard said she was very nice but he has no idea how she got famous. Howard said he felt like he was in Roosevelt High School again. He said they were told they had to go or they'd never get out because all of her people were there.
Howard said he and Beth went out to eat after the show. They only had 30 minutes to eat. Howard said Beth asked if that was okay and they said yes. Howard said they went out to eat and he thought about not drinking anything or he'd have to pee and he's pee shy. Howard said he figured he could go at the Laura Fish Bar restaurant. Howard said they have like 2 stalls and a urinal there. He said he freezes up if he tries to go in public. Howard said some guys can just go in and pee. He said he has a real problem with that. Howard said he worries about that.
Howard said all he can think about is peeing. He said that Beth said something to him. He said he had to confess to her what was going on. Howard said they got to the restaurant and he had some wine and water but not a lot. Howard said imagine what's going on with him. He said he was sitting there thinking about going pee. He said he ended up going pee after dinner. He said he went to the bathroom and asked the manager where the bathroom was. Howard said he went to the bathroom and no one was in there. He said he tried to pee and nothing was coming out. He said that he can't pee when he has to make himself pee. Howard said he was standing there and nothing happened. He said this was 2 hours after he drank the coffee. He said he walked out and told Beth he couldn't go. He said she asked why not. Howard said he froze up. He said he was so upset. Howard said they were driving over and he had to pee. He said 5 minutes ago he didn't have to pee.
Howard said this is his life. He said he has a guy who walks him in and he told him he'd have to pee. He said every man there is going to be in there. He said they had a big line there. Howard said he was never going to be able to pee. He said this guy walks him into the bathroom and the guy knows what's going on. He said every stall is packed. Howard said there's one asshole who is really loud farting. He said another guy yells out ''Hello!'' Howard said there were shorter lines at Woodstock. Howard said he opened up stall doors and hit guys in the ass with the door. He said he had to use a urinal. He said he was standing and couldn't pee but he had to pee. He said his guy was there and he was watching too.
Howard said he still can't pee. He said he can't do it in front of other people. Howard said the he's waling out and sees an empty stall. He said he went to the stall instead. He said he went in there and people must have wondered what the hell was going on. He said he started to pee and it was trickling out. He said Jimmy and Molly were already in their seats. He said Beth is waiting for him outside. He said that she knows he has problems peeing. He said he came out and told her he peed.
Howard said he got to his seat and he had to pee again. He said he only had a trickle. Howard said Bruce started his show and he did an opening monologue. He said he had to pee bad. Howard said it was ready to come out. He said he told Beth he had to go again. He said it was the coffee. He said during the first song Beth told him to go now. He said he got up and wondered if he's allowed to get up. Howard said it's a small theater. Howard said he ran to the back and his security guy was with him so he ducked down. He said he looks like Groucho Marx. He said he thought Bruce was going to stop and asked if he had already peed. Howard said he went up and peed because the bathroom was empty. He said he peed like a race horse.
Howard said Bruce is into another song and he's told he can't go back to his seat until Bruce was done with his song. Howard said other people were able to do that later in the show. He said it must have been because it was him. Howard said he was watching from the back.
Howard said Jimmy had third row seats but he wasn't able to go back. Howard said once he peed he was all done. He said pee is ruining his life. He said he went to see Bruce though so he had to do it. Howard said he has to see this show. Robin said she's seen Bruce a lot. Howard said she has to see this show. Robin said she doesn't want to see it. Howard said he has to tell her about the show.
Howard said it was one of the most moving nights of his life. He said he was sitting next to his wife and it was great. He said Bruce is doing this show with excerpts from his book. Howard said he plays guitar or piano by himself with no band. Howard said this is why it's different. Howard said he goes through his life and plays these relevant songs and he's such an entertainer. He said his wife Patty comes out and performs and it's so romantic. Howard said he was so grateful for Jimmy and Molly bringing him.
Howard said Bruce was talking about going back to his old neighborhood and seeing a tree he loved being cut down. Howard said its never the same going back to the old neighborhood. Howard said he was talking about the Vietnam war and the draft. He said Bruce avoided the draft thanks to a doctor. He said he can't stop thinking about the guy who took his place. He said that he talks about his life and that he's the working class hero and that he's never held a job in his life. He said it's very humorous and touching. He said it was beautiful. He said if it was up to Gary he never would have seen the show.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can get him into Bruce's show any night of the week. He said he can produce unlike Gary.
Howard said he would go to the show again. He said he'd go 2 or 3 more times. Howard said that was some show. He said Bruce can sing and it was just fucking great. He said he didn't know how great he was at playing piano. Howard said Billy Joel was there too but he didn't see him. He said he was up in the balcony. He said Jim Carrey was there too. He said he saw him there. He said he doesn't know who else was there. Howard said he was really not a guest of Bruce's. He was a guest of Jimmy's. He said they didn't go back stage. Howard said he doesn't assume anyone wants to see him so he won't go back stage. Howard said thank god he peed and got that out of the way. He said he would have been consumed with that.
Howard said he was in bed by 10:20 that night. He said he was really happy for Jimmy bringing him. He said he offered to pay for his seats but Jimmy said it was a gift for doing the show.
Robin said Howard retired from doing Jimmy's show but Jimmy said he's going to ask next year. Howard said he has to stop doing that. Howard said he beat himself up over what he was doing on Jimmy's show. Howard said he had this thing in his head about doing material on Harvey Weinstein. He said he was talking about how you have to think about how you look if you're going to try to seduce a woman. Howard said Harvey Weinstein didn't have the looks to do that. Howard said he's a fat slob and he somehow missed that in the play book. Howard said he just got naked and had a woman watch him shower. Howard said if you're at the zoo it's like an elephant being hosed down.
Howard said he was going to say that at least Bill Cosby knocked a woman out before doing that. Howard said he went over to Guillermo and he was going to say something about him having a better chance in that Statue of Liberty outfit. Howard said he decided to hold off on that. Howard said he had some other Harvey material. He said after the show he went home and thought about how he did a shit job on the show. He said he hates that he beats himself up over that. He said everyone tells him he did great but he doesn't care. Robin said he needs to beat himself up. Robin said it's a sickness he has. Howard said he can't even pee in public. Robin said nothing will ever be comfortable for him. Howard said he knows and she's not helping him right now. Robin said this is ridiculous. Howard said she needs to cuddle with him.
Robin said no. She said she had a thought over the weekend about Howard and something he said to Beth. She said she was thinking about what a baby he is. Howard said he knows he's a big baby. Robin said he wants everything handled for him. Howard said he wishes someone could pee for him.
Howard said he asked Jimmy not to ask him to do the show again. He said he doesn't know why Jimmy says he's from Brooklyn. He was only there until he was 9. Howard said he can never say no to him when he asks him to come on his show though. He said that he said he was going to ask him again next year. He said he has to stop. Robin said Jimmy feels that it's an insult not to ask him. Howard said that's just wrong.
Howard said Mariann from Brooklyn was there at the taping. He said you can't miss her. He said that women seemed to like what he had to say about Harvey Weinstein. Howard said he knows James Corden got shit for joking about him. He said that it's not too soon to joke about him but you have to have the right jokes. Robin said you have to prepare and it didn't sound like Corden did. Howard said showing your cock to a woman isn't going to turn a woman on. Robin said the best line was that a woman doesn't want to see your cock. They want to see you have a job and you're nice to them. Howard said women liked that.
Howard said he was talking to the pre-interviewer and he told him that maybe they could ask questions. He said they did that last year. Howard said it's not his show and he left it up to them to figure out what to do. Howard said they did it last time though. Howard said they were having a 12 minute conversation and he doesn't think anyone cares. Howard said they were ridiculous questions anyway.
Howard said High Pitch Erik looked huge on the show. Gary said after that show he flew out to L.A. to go on Lets Make a Deal and he had to get a 6XL costume. Shuli came in to tell Howard about that.
Shuli said Jeff the Drunk was on an escalator there. Howard said he fell on that and he had to be helped up. Shuli said he knew he was going to fall. Howard had Jeff on the phone and he said he knew he was going to fall and sure enough he did. Howard said they have to post the video somewhere. Shuli said Jeff has gotten really heavy too. Jeff said he's no High Pitch. Howard asked if he was high on weed edibles. Jeff said he was. Howard said Jeff has a guy to handle him and he was in a suit and everything. Howard said Jeff was trying to figure out how to stand on the escalator and he went down. He said this guy was trying to help him on there. Jeff said that's bullshit. He said he got himself on it. Shuli said he was told he took a header on there but he fell on his ass. Howard said he saw the video and he fell on his ass.
Howard said they're going to post the video on HowardStern.com. He said it shows him falling on his ass. Jeff said he knew he fell on his ass. He said that was a figure of speech. Shuli said he put all of his weight on the railing and the rail moved so he fell.
Howard said he felt bad for Jeff when he fell. Howard said Medicated Pete got up and performed Purple Rain with Paul Shaffer. Shuli said that he just walked right up to the stage and sang. He said that the warm up guy knew who he was and he just let him come up and sing. Howard said this was like a Wack Pack convention there. Howard asked Jeff if he's done. Jeff said Mariann taped the whole thing. Howard said Jeff was all dressed up. Shuli said he was wearing a t-shirt with a captain's outfit. He said he forgot his cap at home though. Howard let Jeff go after that. Howard said he just waved to them there at the show. He didn't get to talk to them.
Shuli said High Pitch Erik sat behind him and he had his cock and balls behind his head the whole show. Howard said it's his gunt. He saw the picture.
Howard had some clips from Kimmel and the announcer dropped a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' at the start of the show. Howard played that clip. He played another clip of Shuli talking to Jeff the Drunk when he showed up. He forgot his cap so he asked him about that. Jeff was upset about forgetting it. Shuli asked Jeff what he expected from Howard. He just let out a belch. Howard said Mariann from Brooklyn organized the tickets for the Wack Pack. Howard said she had instructions for them and told them to follow the rules because she took responsibility for them. Howard said they must have told them not to take pictures.
Howard said at the Springsteen show they tell you not to take video or pictures or they'll throw you out. Howard said he was watching the show and it was very special. He said he hopes he continues to do it for a long time. Howard said at the end of the show these fucking idiots start taking out their phones and start taking pictures. He said they sneak it. He said you can't sneak it. Howard asked what it is with adults not being able to be told ''no.'' Howard said they're baby adults. Robin said ''Well...'' Howard told her to stop. Shuli said he's gone to shows where parents are elbowing people to get their iPads up to get video.
Howard said he was so moved by this Springsteen show. He said then these people pick up their phones after being told not to. Howard said they were told not to. Howard said he wanted to get up and say it's not him. Howard said he wanted to ask the guy in front of him if he was training to be a camera man.
Howard said there were people in front of him who were overweight. He said this woman kept putting her big arm around her husband. Howard said he was bothered by that because one was wearing a digital watch that glowed in the dark. He said that he just wanted her to put her thick arm down. Howard said fuck you and your digital watch. Howard said he wanted to chop her hand off. Howard said they were acting all romantic. Howard said he held his wife's hand in her lap. Howard said he didn't have his watch glowing in someone's eyes.
Howard said he was sitting there and this thick arm is there with the watch glowing in his face. Howard said he can't take it. Howard said no one was singing along with him at this show. He was happy about that.
Robin said she was at a show and she was thinking about Howard. She said a couple started talking when the lights went down. Robin said they asked everyone to turn off their phones and when the music starts the woman's phone rings. Robin said this is what Howard talks about. She said this was a grown woman. Robin said she turns her phone off and then the husband's phone starts ringing.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he watched his appearance on Jimmy. Howard said no. The caller said the one mistake he made... Howard said he doesn't want to hear it. The caller said he has to listen. Howard asked what he does for a living. The caller said he was in the entertainment business. He said Howard was leaning on Jimmy's desk with his profile showing to the audience. Howard said that's his angle. He said he has to look at Jimmy too. Howard said what a douche. He said he hates his audience.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said he thought he looked young on the show. Howard said stop it. Bobo said he looked like he went back in a time machine. Robin said she liked his look too. She liked the scruff he had.
Bobo said he did say on Jimmy that his family came in the dressing room. Howard said he said that they did that the first time. Howard said Bobo doesn't pay attention. He said he was talking about the last time he was on.
Robin said she's watching Jeff fall now. Shuli said he was told that the guy felt bad filming it but he asked him to send it to him immediately. Howard said poor Jeff.
Howard had some audio of Medicated Pete performing ''Purple Rain'' with Paul Shaffer. Howard played a clip. Howard said he was way off key. He said he didn't sound too bad in the beginning. He said it gets worse. Howard said he's not sure the band knew the song very well.
Shuli said that Pete was sitting there by him and he was grunting the whole time. Howard said he heard he showed up 5 hours early to the show. Shuli said that he showed up there in front of the building 5 hours early. He said Pete came there not knowing he was going, 5 hours early. He said he took the subway with Pete to Brooklyn. He said he showed up and when he's there in the subway you get a seat no problem. He said he's asking and answering questions to himself. Shuli said he hears the tail end of a question or a sentence. Howard asked if he jumps in. Shuli said no way. He said he's just watching it like a tennis match.
Shuli said he saw Elephant Boy out thereon the street and he looked like he was in a plane crash. He said he was a mess. He said it looks like he just walked out of a disaster.
Gary said no one said anything to anyone there. Ralph said he was at a concert recently and there was an idiot who filmed an entire show. He said this guy was zooming in and doing pans on his phone. He said it's so distracting.
Howard said it was so great at the Springsteen show. Shuli asked if he thinks that Gary is pissed that he's not been a fan his entire life. Howard said he has been a fan but not like Gary. He said he went to the show because Jimmy asked him to go. Howard said Bruce should lose the E Street Band. He said he doesn't need them. Howard said the show was so fucking moving. Ralph said it's too bad he doesn't do it at a bigger place. Howard said it would be different then.
Howard said he's not sure why he's talking to Ralph. He said he wants to talk to Robin and Shuli under protest. Shuli asked if Gary would take pictures at the Springsteen show. Gary said no way. Howard said Ross would. Howard said he watched all of these assholes taking pictures after being asked not to.
Howard said Gary was asked not to take his phone out at Saturday Night Live but he did it anyway. Howard said he would take away Gary's tickets if he were Bruce's people. Howard said he's convinced he'll break the rule about no phones.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was there at Kimmel. He said he was at the U.S. Open Sores special too many years ago. Howard said he doesn't want to do that kind of stuff anymore.
Howard took another call from a guy who said it was very uncomfortable seeing him up on stage with Kimmel. He said that he was mean to Paul too. Howard said he was shocked that Paul was there. He said he has to get something going. He said Paul was doing the mini residency thing there. Howard said he stuck to that.
Howard took a call from a guy, Balls, who said that he looked good on the show. He asked what happened during the commercials. Howard said he doesn't remember much. He said he talked to the audience a bit. He said it was quick though. He said he and Jimmy talked a little bit. He said they were talking about where to meet up for the Springsteen thing.
Shuli said he liked how he waved to the Wack Pack and didn't act like he was disgusted. Howard said he was happy to see them there. He said you can't ignore Mariann who is making so much noise there. He said she has to be acknowledged. Howard said that the audience looked good too.
Balls asked Howard if he saw that he's the new face of YouPorn. Howard said he mentioned it on Kimmel and they put a cartoon picture of him on the site. Howard asked them to please take that off of there. Balls said he saw it there and he had to jerk off with his face there. Howard said he logged on and stopped watching it until they take it down.
Howard said he has more clips to play. He played one of Medicated Pete talking about his night. He was drunk so it didn't make sense. Pete was walking about sitting down in the aisle and kept repeating the same thing.
Howard said he has Shuli asking High Pitch Erik what he's going to do when Elephant Boy shows up. In that clip Erik said he's going to stay away from Elephant Boy. He said he'll stay cordial with him if he does the same. Howard said Pete and Erik were mean. He said they laughed at Jeff the Drunk falling down. Howard played the clip and Erik was cracking up at the clip. Erik said that was the funniest shit ever. Medicated Pete was laughing too. Erik said he has tears running down his eyes.
Howard said Erik is the size of a whale and he's laughing at that. Erik made a joke about his nose running like a Puerto Rican. Howard said that didn't make sense.
Howard said Eli Braden wrote a song parody about his eyes on Kimmel. Howard played the song and Eli was singing about how he has to stop hiding his gorgeous eyes. Howard said that's the first time he's ever gotten a love song from Eli Braden. He said it's usually Robin.
Howard said that's it for his Jimble Kimble show appearance. Howard said he to take a break. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard came back and said that one of the Wack Packers he didn't see at Kimmel was Bigfoot. Howard said he lives in Vermont and he comes down like once a year. He said he really is like Bigfoot. He said Shuli got an update from him.
Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to Bigfoot about what's going on. Bigfoot was talking about a girl he met who is going to get some other girls to come over. He said she's going to have a harem for him. Bigfoot said this woman smokes crack so she's kind of crazy. Howard said he has all of this stuff going on. Robin said this is never going to work. Howard said he's not sure about that. He said the apartment is full of squatters too.
Howard had another clip of Bigfoot talking about how much money he got that day. He got $192. He used it to buy weed. He said he has $100 left and he'll probably spend that on food. Howard said he should spend it on a Hearing-Aid.
Howard said that got him thinking and he called Bigfoot to find out if he'd give him money if he asked. Robin said she thinks he would. Howard asked Fred if he thinks he would lend him money. Fred said he thinks he would.
Howard played a clip of his call to Bigfoot where he told him he has scabies and he needs some money to pay for the doctor. Bigfoot said he's broke himself. Bigfoot said he has no money to lend him. Bigfoot said he spends like 150 bucks a month on weed. Howard asked if he'd cut back on that and send him half of that money. Bigfoot said he would do that. Howard asked if he could skip one hooker and send him that money. Bigfoot said he'd try to do that. He also said he makes like $50 pan handling too. He said he'd send him some of that. Howard asked when he can expect the money. Bigfoot said he'll get it in the mail.
Howard said he's not sure if they're right or wrong. Robin said he did say he would do it. Howard said he thinks Bigfoot played him. He's not going to send him the money. Howard said he has a generous spirit but he's not sending the cash. Robin said so far none of the Wack Packers have been good for giving Howard anything if he needs it. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said speaking of George Takei he has a religious guy named Peter Larbarbera who has a show. Howard asked JD about the guy and if he's like Rush Limbaugh. JD said he's like a talking head on different shows. Howard said the new Star Trek has gay characters and he's upset that they don't have gays who were converted in conversion camps. Howard said that just doesn't work. He hates to break it to these guys. Howard said the guy still buys into these conversion camps. He said you have to hear the clip.
Howard played the clip of the guy talking about the new Star Trek show and how they have yet to see an ex-gay who has been converted. He said all they can do is not watch Star Trek. He said Americans are tired of this and that's why Trump won in the first place.
Howard said here are gay couples in every show. Howard said they have a lesbian couple in Supergirl. Robin said this guy wasn't going to watch that show anyway.
Howard took a call from one of the guys in the back who playing the part of a gay Vulcan who was converted. Howard spent a minute with him talking about that.
Howard said there's a director in the news who has been accused of sexual assault. Howard said Beth knew the guy but he never tried this trick with her. Howard said this guy James Toback has been accused by a lot of women. Howard said he's not sure where to begin with these cases. Howard said Matt Lauer interviewed Bill O'Reilly and he paid some woman $32 million and acting like nothing happened. Howard said they probably didn't even ask for $32 million.
Howard said he asked Beth if it was okay to mention this. He said when she was in her 20s she went to a supermarket and this guy Toback said he was a director and he mentioned Robert Downey Jr. and said she'd be perfect for a movie he was working on. He gave Beth his number. She called it later in the day and it turned out to be his personal number. Howard said then he has her number. Howard said she was sleeping and he woke her up at like Midnight. Howard said it was this guy. Howard said he wanted her to come in the middle of the night to meet about the movie. Howard said the poor women who fall for this just want to be actresses so bad they'll go. Howard said Beth didn't go for it.
Howard said Beth had so many bad experience with men that she said no. Howard said he told her it was her time and her chance now. Howard said he's sorry if he's telling this story wrong. He said he's heard it many times though. Howard said that Beth hung up and the guy called her repeatedly that night. It was after midnight. Howard said she kept calling and she gave his number to her agent and that stopped.
Howard said last night they were in bed playing director and young starlet. He said he still can't get over that Harvey Weinstein thing. Howard said this was the guy's M.O. though. He said he was known or finding women like that. Howard said he'd go to the park and walk up to women trying to get them.
Howard said this guy's defense is that he has diabetes and a heart condition. Robin said now he does but this didn't happen yesterday.
Howard said Bill O'Reilly still claims he has big news coming soon. Howard played some of the interview he did with Matt Lauer about being fired. In the clip Bill was saying he's innocent of any of the accusations he's had against him. Howard said he did settle with a woman for $32 million though.
Howard said he has a big time director on the phone who has a job offer for Robin. One of the guys in the back was doing the voice of a director who wanted her to come out to his mom's basement and meet with him. He asked if Robin is on birth control. Robin asked what that has to do with acting. He said it's an insurance thing. The director asked if she has enema'd in the past 24 hours. Robin said no. The guy said his mom can administer that for her. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said that was Robin's ticket. He said she could have been a big star. Robin asked who else is in the movie. Howard said she's asking too many questions.
Robin said she was reading about Lupita Nyong'o and what she's accusing Harvey Weinstein of. She got everyone into the movie theater in his house and then asked her if she wanted a massage. Robin said he got everyone into a sound proof room and tried to get her into another room so no one could hear them.
Howard played another clip of O'Reilly talking about why he didn't sue any of the women who accused him. Howard said he's claiming it's a hit job on him. Robin said it's not clear why he wouldn't do it if he has a case. Howard said his bullshit detector was going off with this.
In the clip Bill said no one is a perfect person. He said he can sleep well knowing he never mistreated anyone on his watch. Robin said he's been telling us that he's going to rock our world with news but he still has no information. Howard said he's still waiting for OJ to find the real killers.
Robin said Harvey Weinstein has a completely different recollection of what he did with Lupita. Robin said men often do have a different recollection.
Howard said there's so much going on. Robin said this is serving notice that people are not going to be quiet any more. Howard said we'll see. Howard said Denis Leary is coming in next to he has to get to that. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break.
Howard came back and said he has to drink some water before Denis comes in. Howard said he has a new book called ''Why We Don't Suck: And How All of Us Need to Stop Being Such Partisan Little Bitches.''
Howard said Denis shakes hands. Howard said he's afraid of catching germs. Denis said he doesn't worry about it. He said Steven Wright is a good friend of his. Howard asked what happened to him. Denis said he's still around. He said Steven brought his own microphone out at a show he did with him. He said he was wearing gloves back stage. Denis asked how bad Howard's is. Howard said it's pretty bad. He said they call the Purell stuff ''Jizz'' and bring it along wherever they go. Howard said he gets cuckoo at the gym. He said he'd still worry about it even if it wasn't a work thing. Denis asked how it affects him with his wife. Howard said he can do anything with her. He said any woman he's around he can get past that. Denis said he's fine as long as it's pussy.
Howard said he goofs on Howie Mandel too. He said he's the same around women though. Denis said that's crazy.
Denis said that fucking Shuli and Tan Mom thing is so great. He said that he had to pull over in his truck. He said he wasn't able to drive. He said that he's better than tan Mom. He said you have to have Tan Mom on though. Howard said if they bring her in they have to have Shuli in there. Howard said it's a full on impression of her. Denis said he can't even describe how funny it is. He said Shuli is great at doing High Pitch Erik getting high too. He said when he changes the voice it's the best. Howard said it really is the best. He said Shuli has found his groove with the Wack Pack.
Denis said he had to pull over when he heard that. He said the Robert Plant thing was great too. He said he doesn't love him like Howard does. He said he knows how crazy Howard is about that band. He said he loves Zeppelin but it was more the Who, the Stones and Bowie for him. Denis said he has been listening to Howard for years with this build up. He said that no one had done any in depth interview with Robert Plant. Howard said that's a shame. Denis said they had this big build up and he was driving in his truck and had to leave in the middle of it. He said he caught another chunk a few days later. Then he heard the last chunk. He said when he got up to leave Howard stopped him and said he had to take a compliment because he had to tell him how much he means to him. He said he got a tear in his eye when he heard it. Howard said he was kind of tearing up when he said that.
Howard said music meant so much to him and they were like his prophets. He said they could elevate you. He said he thinks that it clicked for Robert and he didn't get it until then. Denis said it was a really powerful interview. Howard said it can never live up to what he wants it to be. Denis said that it was magnificent. He said no one has gotten him to talk about the past like Howard did. Howard thanked him for saying that. Denis said that the moment on the Kennedy Center Honors was about Bonzo. He said he was tearing up hearing that with Howard. He said that it was really powerful. Howard said it was great having him in there.
Howard asked if Denis has seen Springsteen's show yet. Denis said he hasn't. Howard said it was so great. Howard said he and his wife had such a powerful experience. He said that he does excerpts from his book and then performs and it was so powerful. Denis said he wasn't going to go see it but now he might have to. He said when Petty died he had a great quote about the only magic in his life being music. Denis said he writes about that in the book. He said that his kids have no idea who John Wayne was or who Johnny Carson was. He said the only thing that carries through with fame is the music. He said his kids know who all of these people are. He said the kids found it all on their own. He said that music carries on forever. Howard said he will live on.
Denis said that he gets mistaken for 7 other famous people. Howard asked who they are. Denis said Willem Dafoe is one. He said he signed an autograph for a guy and the guy didn't know who he was. He tough he was Willem Dafoe. The guy threw the thing in the trash. Denis said he didn't think it was the worst thing in the world. Howard said he's not Harvey Weinstein. Denis said then he got mistaken for Kevin Bacon. He said he gets that kind of. Howard said he gets mistaken for Reah Perlman. Howard said that and Fran Leibowitz.
Denis said he's getting mistaken up so far. Then he was doing Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll. He said he was wearing a woman's leather jacket on and a lot of jewelry. He said he was talking down the street and this woman says she's his biggest fan. She asked for a picture so he had her come around the barricade. He took a selfie and she said that Glee is her favorite show and she's her favorite character. She thought he was Jane Lynch. Denis said then he's making a movie about football called Draft Day and he's got a short hair cut and chinos on. He said he comes out and he's walking down the street and there are lesbians everywhere. He said that a woman goes ''Oh my god! Ellen!'' He said that she thought he was Ellen Degeneres. He said he was like ''What the fuck?'' He said there was some convention going on with Lesbians and they thought he was Ellen. Denis said people were freaking out. He said he was Ellen for 4 seconds.
Howard said he has a whole list of people. Denis said that he was mistaken for Jon Bon Jovi. He said now that he's getting grey he doesn't get mistaken for him. Howard asked Denis if he colors his hair. Denis said not at all. Howard said he doesn't either. Howard said if he didn't have hair he'd have nothing. He said it's all he's got. Denis said he has the radio show too.
Howard said he asked Denis about music because it means so much to him. Howard said his book is called ''Why We Don't Suck: And How All of Us Need to Stop Being Such Partisan Little Bitches.'' Howard asked what it's about. Denis said he does a charity show in Boston every year and it's him and a bunch of guys. He said he had the show 4 days after the election last year. He said he didn't vote for Trump but he didn't like Hillary either. He said she sucked. He said that he wasn't a great candidate either. He said he voted for Hillary even though he didn't want to. He said that he has worked with Trump before and he thought he was white back then. He said now he's orange. Howard asked what that is. Denis said they should ask Tan Mom or Shuli.
Howard asked what he worked with Trump on. Denis said he did a cameo in 1999 or 2000 on a show he was doing. He said he was fine to work with. Howard said he liked him on his show too. He said he's not sure where this President thing came from. Denis said he's a different person now.
Denis said that Trump had this Make America Great Again thing going and in Boston there were Trump signs all over when he was up there. Howard asked how he survived all of this stuff that came out before the election. Denis said that Hillary was just an awful candidate. He said that Trump survived so much. He said Friday was the day that grab the pussy came out. The press were saying that he was done. Denis said knowing that Bill Clinton had sexual baggage he brought that up. He said that this was not a normal election. He said he brought it all back with the Bill Clinton thing.
Howard said Denis is listed as Dr. Denis Leary on his book. Denis said he is a doctor. He said that he went to Emerson College and he taught there. Howard said Denis met his wife there. Howard asked if he gave her special treatment there. Denis said ''fuck yeah!'' Howard asked what happened there. Denis said he was single at the time. He said he was doing stand up and some teacher got sick so they asked him to come back and teach a class. He said sure because it would be something great on his resume. He said he was doing this before MTV and all of that. He said he's teaching the class and he likes a lot of women. He said that his type is Julie Christie with a little Jackie Onasis thrown in.
Howard asked Denis about meeting his wife. Denis said that his cock had already told him who he was into. He said he turned around and saw this girl standing in the doorway. He said that she asked if this was the right class being taught by Professor Leary. He said he's not a professor but he tells her yes. He said she was in a mini skirt and carrying a puppy. He said she made him laugh and he was so fucked. He said that he taught for the whole term and he had to date her and then fuck her and try to keep her. He said they've been together for 30-something years. He said that he's monogamous like Howard. Howard said he is too.
Howard said he doesn't get the Harvey Weinstein thing because his wife is so hot. Howard said you'd think he'd just not do stuff like he was doing. Howard said he has a beautiful woman. He said it's got to be a sickness.
Howard asked if Denis' wife still calls him professor. Denis said not at all. He said he does like to call himself Doctor though. Denis said he got his because he's famous. He said they called him and told him they were doing this. He said he called his friend and told him that. He said his friend has like 8 of those. He said Cam Nealy has a few too. He asked if Howard is a doctor. Howard said no. Howard said no one is going to make him a doctor.
Denis said Howard should be a therapist guy. Howard said he still needs help. Denis said the way he interviews people he should be a therapist.
Howard had Denis get back to the name of his book. Denis said Trump resonated with the people. He said Hillary had nothing. He said she had ''Hillary for America.'' He said she should have just said ''Hey, it's my turn'' which is what she really meant. Denis said that he had friends who didn't know about the Bill Clinton thing. He said that they found out because of Trump.
Howard asked why we don't suck. Denis said that he was doing the stand up in Boston and he did what he was feeling. He said the audience was explosive. He said that they all realized that the process was a joke. He said the democratic party has to wake up. He said they still think that Bernie Sanders is the answer. He said he's not going to get elected. He said Bernie is almost 80. He said Joe Biden is 80. He said Elizabeth Warren is never going to get elected. Howard said maybe Oprah should run. Howard said he spoke to George Stephanopoulos and he sat him down and told him off the radio what he should do. Howard said he spoke to his wife Ali too. Howard said he did this off the air. He said that he knows their kids and they're fantastic. Howard said there's nothing in his personal life that's bad.
Howard said he wanted to get George to run. He said he liked Hillary and he backed her. Howard said she had experience and she had a command of the way to get things done. Howard said if they have a celebrity running against Trump it's going to be back to the same stuff that Trump is going through. Howard said they need someone with experience. Denis said he thinks those days are over. Howard asked if he thinks Al Franken would be good. Denis said that Franken is great. He said the thing is that they have these PACs and the debates and all of that. He said that it's all a waste of time. He said they should make it a reality show called America's Got Leaders. Howard said how about President Idol. Denis said that's great. He said that they could have a game show and they have judges for it. He said they start in August and on November 8th they vote by phone. He said that's how they find the President.
Howard said he agrees with him. Howard said he'd never run. He said even Trump doesn't want to be president. He said he had the life. Howard asked why he needs that. Denis said he thinks that he's got a sense of patriotism or something. Robin said he had everything else and this was the one thing he didn't have.
Howard said he wants to get back to rock and roll. He said he has a McCartney story to tell. Howard said being famous you get to meet certain people. He said McCartney must be one of his favorites. Denis said he talks about him in the book because it's about fame. Howard said he says in the book he wants to play Kellyanne Conway. Denis said he noticed that himself and he announced it to the world. He said Kimmel asked him to come in and do that but he was writing his book. He said he might do that for him.
Howard asked if he has ever hosted Saturday Night Live. Denis said he has been asked but refused to do it. He said he had friends on the show and he knows how hard they work. He said then some asshole comes in to host and he had too much respect for it to do that. Howard asked if he feels it's an insult to the people who work there. Denis said he would want to go in and work his balls off. He said if he promotes his book on Howard's show he's having a good time. He said on Saturday Night Live he has to work hard for 7 days. He said he's not going to go in and remember lines. He said he'll never host Saturday Night Live, ever.
Howard asked if he told Lorne that. Denis said he tried to explain it but he thinks they got pissed. Denis said he doesn't want to memorize lines. He said it's a complicated thing for him.
Denis said the reasons he wrote about music is because it's the eternal part of fame. He said that he wanted to talk about how ridiculous celebrity is. Denis said that Letterman came on the show and he came to realize that when you're done people forget about you. He said Craig Ferguson did a brilliant talk show and now he's out of it. He said that talk shows are so tough. He said they leave and it's gone.
Howard said he talked to John Stamos off the air and John told him that his fame will live on. Howard said he doesn't think so. Denis said he will. He said he'll be like Robert Plant. He said he's going to deny him this. Denis said that Howard did something special when he came here from regular radio. He said that there's an Ed Morrow kind of thing with Howard. Howard said he wanted to do something like that but he ran out of time. Howard said there's not enough time in the day.
Howard asked if it was hard writing a book. Denis said it was. He said he wrote a book before but this one was different. He said he wanted to write about all of this political stuff. He said that people have lost their sense of humor over this election. He said that we're not getting anything done with the different partisan view points. He said he's serious about the reality show. He said he thinks it would save us tons of money.
Robin said we used to have great men as their president. She said we're not going to find them with a reality show.
Denis said he mentions some people in the book. He said Oprah would be great. Robin said she won't run. Howard said as nice as she is we don't know that she can sit down and work policy. Denis said they can't do that with our current President. Howard said how about Caitlyn Jenner. Denis said he didn't think of her. Denis said Howard and Robin would be great. Robin asked if she has to run. Denis said of course.
Howard asked why women are superior to men. Denis said it's everything. He said every thing they measure they are superior to us. He said that's fine. Howard said he agrees with him on that. Howard said Betty Thomas directed his movie and she said she acted first and learned how to direct. Howard said men come out of film school and think they can direct.
Denis said that his memory is full of sports and music. He said he can't remember important stuff. Howard asked Denis about his favorite lyrics because his are the lyrics from a Zeppelin song. Denis said that they are great. He said that when Petty died he thought of one of his songs because it meant something to him.
Howard asked Denis about meeting McCartney. Denis said that he has heroes like that in his life and he met him. He said he left work one day and he had an Uber pick him up. He said the guy thought he was Kevin Bacon. He said it's always a conversation. He said it takes like 5 minutes. He said that he told him ''Yeah'' and the guy went on a whole thing about him dancing in Footloose. He said he was just sticking with it. He said the guy calls his wife on the phone and he puts him on with her. He said she goes nuts about Kyra Sedgwick. He said he keeps it up and he tells her about stuff that Kevin Bacon is doing. He said she was suspicious and he was like 6 blocks from his house. He said the guy Googles Kevin Bacon and he has to explain to him why he was lying to him. Denis said he was telling him who he is and the guy kicked him out of the car.
Howard said he loves that he went into his role. Howard said he should have told the wife that he was leaving Kyra.
Howard asked about McCartney again. Denis said that his mother is 90 years old and she's one of the most honest people. Howard said his mother just turned 90. Denis said maybe they'll live that long. Howard said he doesn't think so. He said Denis has to quit smoking. Denis said he has the e-cigarette now. He said he was going to quit smoking with that. He said that they're great. He said they're as close to real as you get. He said the problem is that he started smoking both. He said that he knows it's stupid. Howard said he should be able to quit. Howard said somehow Keith Richards is still going. Denis said he has a story about him in the book too.
Denis said he went to the White House and didn't smoke there. He said he did smoke in Bloomberg's office though. He said they had an art deco ash tray in there and he had to just do it. He said he lit up and this guy saw him and he went to put it in the ashtray and he was told it was worth $35,000.
Howard asked again about Paul McCartney. Denis said his mother is not impressed by fame at all. He said she's happy that he's successful though. He said he had never met a Beatles. He said he was in his dentist's waiting room and Paul McCartney says ''Hey Denis.'' He said he flipped out. He said that Paul was saying he didn't want to bother him. He said he should have said he was but he didn't. He said he was on his phone and he should have asked who the fuck he thinks he is. Denis said that Paul said he had to come over and say hello. He said he almost shit his pants. Denis said he asked what he was doing there. He was getting his teeth worked on. Denis said he asked to see his teeth. He said he was just so overwhelmed with stupidity. He said Paul showed him his teeth. He said he just said ''Oh wow! They're so white!'' He said he asked to see his teeth too and they just walked away. He said he just douched himself out of knowing Paul McCartney.
Howard said he could have ended up having a life together. Denis said he could have been writing songs together.
Howard said if he met him like that he'd think he was a fucking weirdo. He said Paul must get that a lot. Denis said he called his mother after that and told her what happened. Denis said his mother asked if he thought he was someone else.
Howard said it would be so great if he did think he was Kevin Bacon and he thought Kevin Bacon was an asshole. Denis said that would be great.
Howard said Alan Thicke died recently and Denis knew him. He said he gave him some advice. Denis said that he told him to ''pass the puck asshole.'' They played hockey together.
Howard said he's glad he came out against vinyl. He said that's so great. Denis said they lived with it. He said there's a chapter called ''60 is the new Go Fuck Yourself.'' He said people are into vinyl and no one has room for it. He said people like Gary talk about it but it sucked. He said it wasn't good. He said when he was a kid they had to save up to buy an album. Howard said he bought The Band and it was warped and unplayable. Howard said it was 9 bucks and he got another copy like 7 months later. Denis said they melted albums if they sucked. Howard said he remembers the nightmares of vinyl. Denis said that they sounded great once. He said they degrade and sound like shit. He said when you move you have tons of shit to move.
Howard gave Denis another plug for his book. Denis asked if this is the end. Howard said it is. He said they've talked for an hour. Howard said they love him on the show. Howard said they have a good rapport. Denis said he could work here. He said he loves the guys there. He said one of the guys has a trash can desk. Howard said that's Benjy.
Denis said he had something else to bring up but he can't remember. Denis said that his wife knows Beth and they should try to get together. Howard said he'll go out to dinner. Denis said that would be great. Howard said he just said the thing. He said when he sees him at dinner he will hate him. Howard said people don't like socializing with him other than Kimmel. Howard said he'll ruin the relationship. Denis said that they have to get Beth to come out then. He said he can stay home. Howard said he's going to invite him to dinner.
Denis is doing a book signing on Thursday at Bergen PAC in Englewood, NJ. Denis said he's got the Comics Come Home show in November too.
Howard asked if he hangs out with anyone famous. Denis said he hangs out with Michael J. Fox and guys like that. He met him through Cam Nealy. He said that he is the best. He said that he makes him laugh and they hang out and go on vacation together. Denis said that he went to Turks and Caicos with him. Howard said he had to leave that place early because there were ants. Denis said it's the best. He said that Howard can't come on vacation with him. Howard said he wouldn't want him there. Howard said he and his wife were covered in ants. Denis said it's one of the most beautiful places in the world. Howard asked if he has ever lived in an ant farm.
Denis said he was on vacation with Michael and his wife. He said he hadn't seen Keith Richards for years. He said he had hung out with him years before. He said it was maybe 7 years. He said he thinks that Keith thought he was Kevin Bacon. He said he was on the beach in Turks and Caicos and he was sitting out by the water and he heard that Keith had a house down there. He said that he sees a head come out of the water and it's like a pirate getting out of the water. He said he has a tiny jean shorts on. He said he's walking toward him and he wonders if it's Keith. Denis said he walked up and asked him if he had any smokes. He said he had one and he lit it up and said it's a beautiful day and then walks off. Denis said he may still think he's Kevin Bacon.
Howard asked if he got to hang out with Mick Jagger. Denis said he did and he's the best. He said that guy is really charming. He said watching them work in rehearsal is amazing. He said they work their fucking balls off. He said they were with them for 2 weeks before their tour. He said they'd get up at 11 in the morning and work until 4 with no break. He said then they'd discuss the set list. He said that's why they're the best. He said they still care. Howard asked if he asked to see Mick's teeth back then. Denis said he didn't have to.
Howard gave Denis some more plugs for his book and the appearances they mentioned earlier. Howard asked if he did the audio book. Denis said he did. Denis asked why he never wrote another book. Howard said you never know. He said it's hard work. Denis said write a book about germs.
Howard said Denis and Michael J. Fox would hate him if they went on vacation with him. Howard said they had ants in the room in Turks and Caicos. Howard said they went to dinner and they had set off bug bombs in the room. Denis said he has to go back. Howard said no way. He said he likes Mexico. Howard said he stayed in a hotel and Kimmel stayed in a house with Jennifer Aniston and her husband Justin. Howard said he's a talented guy. Howard said they got to hang with them. Howard said he wasn't invited to stay there. Howard said they did invite him the following year. Howard said Jennifer was a lovely person. Denis said he's a big fan of her's. Howard said he stays to himself for the most part. He said he's awkward with people. Denis said they're getting along great today. Howard said if they bring microphones they'll be okay. Denis asked how much therapy he's going to now. Howard said it's 2 days a week now. Robin said he might have to go 3 days.
Denis asked how Howard got into see the Springsteen show. Howard said Jimmy invited him. He said that Jimmy was able to get tickets but Gary wasn't. Howard said he had issues doing that. He said he's pee shy. He said he doesn't want to talk about it because he talked about it earlier. Denis asked about it because he couldn't believe that he got up in the first song. Howard said he had to pee. He said thank god he didn't see. He said he was in the third row. Howard said he didn't want to tell the story again but he told the whole thing over again. Howard went into all the details about drinking coffee and not being able to pee. He had to get up at the start of the show.
Denis said that Howard is in the book. He said that he uses Squatty Potty because of Howard. He said that he's going to get up during the first song at the Springsteen show like Howard.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked about Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll. He said that the first season was great being focused on him but then the second season wasn't so focused on him and it wasn't so great. Denis said he had to focus on the hot women in the show.
Howard had Shuli on the phone as Tan Mom talking to Denis. He had Denis cracking up with the impression. Howard let Shuli do his thing for a minute and Denis laughed the whole time. Denis said that guy fucking kills him. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard took a call from a guy, Apples, who asked if his parents saw him on Kimmel. Howard said no. He said he forgot to tell them. Howard said his mother heard from a friend that he was funny on the show. He did an impression of his mother calling and asking about what he did on the show. Howard did the impression and then Apples did his own impression of Ray.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves the show but he has some criticism. He said that Robin keeps interrupting the guests. He said he wants to hear them answer questions and not Robin answering for her. Howard said he'll have to listen to the tape and see what Robin is doing. The caller said he's just suggesting that she lay back. Robin said she lays back mostly.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been listening since 1996. He asked if he knows how big he is now. Howard asked what he means. The caller asked if he thinks he's not that famous. Howard said he doesn't think he's that famous. The caller said it shows. The caller said he goes to bed early and he had to wake up to watch Howard live on Kimmel. He said Howard was super funny but he keeps thinking is that he was doing the show for Jimmy. Howard said he was. The caller asked if he's using his friendship for that. Howard asked where he's going with this. the caller said he's too big to go on Jimmy's show. Howard asked how famous he can be. He said he has a producer who can't even get him Springsteen tickets. Howard said Gary wasn't able to get tickets but Jimmy's assistant was able to get them no problem. Robin said that doesn't make sense. Howard said he must not be that big.
Howard took a call from a guy who was trying to tell him how great his interview with Denis was and how great Robert Plant was but he hesitated and Howard said he has to get out of this. He said he has to get to news. Howard said no one can put a sentence together. Howard did an impression of a guy trying to get his thoughts out but not finishing a sentence. Robin asked if the screener isn't getting it right. Howard said they sum it up in a few words.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who was very calm at first. Then she got out a plug for Beth and started screaming. Howard hung up on her and did a live commercial read.
Howard said it's time for some news. He had a song about Fred to play since it's Cocktober. Robin started her news with a story about Playboy featuring its first transgender Playmate. Howard said that's some playmate. Howard said this dude is pulling it off. Howard said it's a woman. Howard said she got rid of her cock and balls. Robin said her name is Ines Rau. Howard said it's a very attractive woman. Howard said she was a dude at one point. Robin asked if he saw her in a bar you wouldn't notice that she wasn't born a woman. Howard and Fred did their Herman Munster/Nicole Bass voices talking about the voice going up and down. Howard said he has to be honest here. He said he'd have a hard time knowing that she was a man and he's not sure he could get over that. Howard said she is a beautiful woman... but he can't get over that thought that she used to be a man. Howard said he's happy she's in Playboy and all of that. Howard said Tula was in Playboy in the 80s. He said she wasn't a Playmate. Howard said she sat on his lap and he got a boner. Howard said she was a good looking woman too. Fred had some clips of George Takei saying Viva La Penis and things like that. Robin said maybe this killed Hef when they told him what they were doing. Howard said in the right light and atmosphere he'd get a hand job from her. Howard said he bets Ronnie would fuck her. Fred did his Ronnie impression for a short time.
Robin read a story about a teacher who was fired over a dildo party she had in a class. Robin read the details of that. Howard said that's like having Ronnie as a teacher. Gary said he asked Ronnie if he would sleep with that woman in Playboy and he said he would take a blow job from her. Robin said that there were kids as young as 11 at the dildo party. Howard played a song parody about Ronnie after that.
Howard had Ronnie come in to give his review of the Playboy transgender. Howard said he heard he didn't like her ass. He asked if the issue has come out yet. Robin wasn't sure. Howard asked how he saw her ass. Ronnie came in and said he saw pictures on the internet. He said it's a guy's ass for sure. He said you can tell. He said the mouth and face are okay. He said he didn't see the titties much either. Howard asked if he would fuck her. Ronnie said if you don't know then who knows. He said if you do know he might take a blow job. Howard said you might as well fuck her. Ronnie said she has a guy's ass. Robin said the issue comes out on October 31st. Ronnie said you can tell she has a guy's ass. He said when she's standing up you can see it. Howard asked what he'd give her on a scale of 10. Ronnie said an 8 or 9. Howard said there you go. Ronnie said he would worry about what he'd see where they make the fake pussy. He said he has seen it before and it's weird.
Howard asked Ronnie about seeing someone shit. Ronnie said he was waiting for Howard to come out of his building. He said there was a guy who went behind a car and he didn't see him come out. He said this guy was sitting on the bumper of the car as a toilet seat. He said that he had his pants down and he was shitting. He said he yelled at him asking what the fuck he was doing. He pulled his pants up as he was shitting. He said there was a pile of shit on the floor. Howard asked how he shit on the floor but not on the car. Ronnie said he went to look earlier and it was too dark out. He said that he was so fucking annoyed. He said there were women walking by and he was so pissed. He said he's seen guys do it between cars before but there was no car behind his. Howard asked if he had a nice ass. Ronnie said no. Howard said he hates that it happened to his car. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about Quentin Tarantino apologizing for not doing something when he knew what Harvey Weinstein was up to. Robin said he was dating Mira Sorvino when Harvey made unwelcomed advances toward her. Robin said Mira came back and told Quentin about it and he didn't do anything about it. Robin said he just assumed that Harvey wouldn't give her a hard time. Howard said he thinks he read that Mira had it before Quentin dated her and she told him about it later. Howard said he could have that wrong. Robin said he knew about it either way. Robin said Quentin said he knew enough that he should have done more than he did. Robin said there are now 40 women accusing Harvey Weinstein of sexual harassment.
Robin read a story about James Toback and how he has had 30 women come out accusing him of sexual harassment. Robin said director James Gunn says he's known about Toback's misconduct since the 90s. Howard said they're all giving Cosby a run for his money. Robin said it seems he was not alone.
Robin read about Bill O'Reilly and some new allegations against him. Robin said Bill is condemning those stories about the $32 million settlement. Robin said he's saying that he's being smeared by the Times. Howard said they're still waiting for the evidence that never shows up.
Robin said Megyn Kelly was talking about Bill O'Reilly and saying that the $32 million isn't a nuisance suit. She said OJ was ordered to pay 32.5 million to the Goldman family.
Howard asked if Robin heard that Harvey Weinstein went in for a week of repay and he's done. Howard had fake Harvey on the phone and talked to him about the women he allegedly harassed. Howard spent a short time talking to the pre-recorded clips.
Robin read more about the Megyn Kelly show and what she's saying about Bill O'Reilly. Robin had some audio from her show for Howard to play. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Mitch McConnell saying Trump is getting more done than he's being given credit for. Robin said they're saying nice things about each other now. Robin said the White House is still complaining about their depiction by the media. Robin had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about the widow of a woman whose fiancee who was killed in Niger. Robin had some audio of the woman speaking on a program about what Trump said to her when he called.
Robin read a story about John McCain is talking about Trump's deferments during the Vietnam war. Robin had some audio of McCain for Howard to play. Howard asked why he's hesitant to say that it's Trump he's talking about. Howard said he heard that Trump is going to send McCain back to Vietnam to serve.
Robin read a story about President Trump laying out tax reform details. Robin had some audio for Howard to play.
Robin asked if Howard can name the past 5 living presidents. Howard was able to do it. Robin said that the 5 former living presidents appeared at a concert to raise money for hurricane relief. Robin had some audio to play from that event. She had Clinton, Obama and Trump clips. Lady Gaga was there performing so she had some audio of her speaking too.
Robin read a story about General Petraeus saying that he doesn't see another war happening with North Korea. Robin had some audio of him talking about that.
Robin read a story about the Cleveland Clinic showing a link between breast cancer and certain bacteria. Robin had audio of someone talking about that. Howard said he still has to check Robin for lumps but hopefully some day they won't have to do that.
Robin read a story about Cardi B because she was kicked out of a hotel room. Robins said she claims it's because of racism. Robin had some audio of her hit song and read more about what she was saying about being kicked out of her room. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about how many things he has to get to today. He said he was just trying to coordinate it all with his team. He said you're in for fun today. He said they have cock related Cocktober events, Kid Rock and all kinds of things to discuss. He said he has bits and all kinds of things.
Howard said he's going to kick it off with George Takei. He played a song they had George sing about taking a stranger's boner anally. Howard said he was looking for an announce but there are none. Robin said George is supposed to be on Fresh off the Boat this evening. Howard said he also did a song called Viva La Penis. He played that too.
Howard said that no one wanted Cocktober. He said so many people hate it that they have a hate line to call. He said he has a montage of hate calls they got about Cocktober. He played the clip and it was a bunch of people complaining about it. Howard said they go on and on. He said you can call 805-55-COCKS if you need to complain.
Howard said they have an interesting thing going on today. He said Michael Rapaport is coming in to promote his book. Howard said he's going to play Cocktionary with Michael. He said then he can plug his book. He said he has a chapter on Baba Booey so he must have run out of material. Howard said Richard and Sal are going to use their cocks as drawing tools and Michael will have to guess what pictures they're drawing.
Howard said Richard's Dad left a message about Cocktober. Howard played a clip where Richard was talking to his dad about Cocktober and his dad asked if he was doing some silly shit. He said he knows he used to do it. Richard said they're still doing it. Richard told him about what they did and how funny it was. Richard's dad was laughing at that. He told him to take care of himself.
Howard said Mr. Christy is such a nice guy. He said he must not be happy about that stuff. Robin said he just laughs it off. Howard said he must think his son is gay.
Gary said Rapaport is going to be late. Howard asked how late he's going to be. Gary said he'll be there in 20 minutes. Howard said send him home if he's not there in 20. Howard said he's fucking up Cocktober. Robin said they just promoted the game. Howard said he's going around talking about how professional he is and now he's late. Howard said they have a window to do this thing. He said they put a lot of effort into this.
Howard said they have some paper hanging up and they will have the guys come in and try to draw a picture of whatever it is. Howard said time counts of course. He said if Sal loses then Richard will paint Sal's head with his cock.
Howard said he calls to get food and the woman will ask what he wants. He said he'll place his order and she asks what else after every item. Howard said he'll give another item and she'll ask if he wants anything else. Howard said they always put in white rice and he doesn't want to waste food. Howard said he's not sure why the world is hungry. He said he orders 3 or 4 dishes for himself and they must think he's ordering for 20 people.
Howard said he'll ask for no white rice and only one brown rice. He said she'll ask if he really only wants 1. He said he was going on about this and the guys chopped up his voice and called a Chinese restaurant with him as the Chinese voice. Howard said he wasn't going to play this but Gary was cracking up. Gary said he had tears in his eyes. Gary said the woman somehow knows what he's ordering.
Howard played the call and they had Howard ordering as the Chinese woman who takes his order. They had him ordering and the woman knew most of what he was saying to her. Howard was cracking up at it too.
Howard said Sal and Richard were in Chinatown and they heard some group of people singing a song. Howard played a clip of the awful song. Howard said this might be the worst song ever. He said actually it's the Robin's news theme song. Howard said maybe they can mix the two together. He tried that and Robin said it works. Howard said he's a genius like Jimmy Iovine. Howard played it again and said it's the official song of Cocktober. Howard said he's mixing cultures. Robin said her music is from Guatemala. Howard said this is Chinese.
Howard said Sal and Richard asked the group to sing about Baba Booey so they did that to the music they were singing. Howard said maybe he can mix this with the Guatemala music. He said he'll see if he can do that. Howard tried it but he had Sal speaking so he gave up.
Howard took a call from a guy whose phone connection was so bad that Howard immediately gave up. Howard said he has to take a break to get to spots. He said he has to get out of there on time today. He said he has 57 meetings coming up. He said he's like a mogul today. He said he has all of these meetings all of a sudden. He said it's like he's doing something important.
Howard said he's going to knock out a commercial break. Howard did a live commercial read and went to break after that.
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Howard asked Michael what happened this morning. Michael said he woke up at 7. He said that he knows that this is a big deal. Howard said when something is important to you then you don't wake up late. Howard said Gary is right about that. Michael said that his iPhone is ruining his life.
Howard asked Michael who his favorite celebrity woman is. Michael said that J-Lo is. Howard said if she asked him to come meet her and she'll do anything for him he'd show up on time. Howard said he knows he'd be on time. Howard said he knows that's the truth. Michael said being there today with him is like licking J-Lo's asshole.
Howard congratulated Michael on his new book. Michael said he thought he was going to do an interview today. Howard said he's going to play a game and get in a plug for his book and then he'll throw him out of here.
Michael said it's great being there with Robin in the other room. He said it's a surreal thing for him. Howard said Michael is doing a lot of shows and doing well in life. Howard said he was great in Justified. Howard said he feels the book deal came about because of his association with the guys and the fantasy football league. Howard said Michael wasn't that into it and he was more into ball busting. Michael said he was. He said that the book deal came about because of him going on sports shows long with his podcast and his shit talking voice to the world. He said the beautiful thing is that he's doing this show on Showtime and they said he's like the guy he is with Gary. He said that's his character on White Famous.
Howard said Gary said Michael likes to talk shit. He said he's number 1 in the league right now but Gary pointed out something. Gary said they get to the playoffs and he always shits the bed. Howard said he's never won the league. Gary has one once. Jason has won twice and Jon Hein has won 3 times. JD has won a couple. Howard said Michael has never won. Michael said he thinks God gets off on him doing well in Fantasy. Howard said there's nothing to talk about right now because he's doing well. Michael said he just wanted to get to this point so they wouldn't breach his appearance.
Howard said his book is called ''This Book Has Balls: Sports Rants from the MVP of Talking Trash'' and it's available now. Howard said he won't mention the other guys in the league and why is that. Michael said they're not worth it. He said none of them are getting mentions. He said that Baba Booey is getting mentions because he has helped him get book deals.
Howard said he's afraid that his fame will rub off on the other guys. Michael said he doesn't think they should mention them now. Howard asked Gary what he thinks about this. Gary said it seems to work for him but he's not sure why he's doing it. Howard said he won't mention any of them.
Howard said Michael claims his podcast gets 2 million listeners. Michael said that's a month. He said that's true.
Howard said Michael says Gary is the most fun to goof on and he gets an energy from looking at his beaver like teeth. Howard asked how long the chapter is. Michael said it's about 6 pages. He said most of them are about 3 pages. Howard asked if he could have done a whole book on Gary. Michael said he could have done a short novel.
Howard said Michael uses 8 different names for Gary in the book. Howard read the list and they were all from the book. Michael said it's all good. Howard asked if he will choke again this season. Gary said he thinks he will. He said up until this week he was crushing them. He said he lost a couple this week though. He said that he's like Charlie Brown with the football though so he thinks he'll lose.
Howard said Michael talks about Stick Men in the book. He's talking about guys who fuck a lot of women. Howard asked if he's one of these guys. Michael said no. Howard asked if he's shocked by the revelations about Harvey Weinstein. Michael said he did some movies with him but he never came on to him. He said he didn't know about this stuff. He said he heard rumors about trysts abut not assaults. He said he heard about things going on but not inappropriate things. He said he heard he was getting some women like Ashley Judd and Mira Sorvino. Howard asked if he ever watched him shower. Michael said he never did but he would have washed his back to be in Inglourious Basterds.
Howard said Michael talks about the stick men and he talks about how they don't get a bad rap afterward. Howard said he mentions Prince and Derek Jeter as being stick men. Howard said that he mentions Matt Dillon and others. Howard asked if he did research for this book. Michael said he did. He said that he also mentioned Milton Berle as a stick man. Howard said JFK, and JFK Jr., Sinatra, Madonna and others. Howard asked if he got her ever. Michael said he didn't. He said he had too much of an attitude. He said he'd rather go with the check out girl at D'Agastinos. Howard said he mentioned John Mayer in there too.
Howard asked about Burgess Meredith being a cocksman. Michael said he was. He said he asked Sylvester Stallone about that and he's the one who told him he was a stick man. He said he had never heard that term before. Howard said you'd never know that Burgess was a stick man. Robin said he should have passed on his knowledge. Howard said Michael is the only one talking about Burgess Meredith.
Howard said Michael says that Ed Sheeran is another stick man. He said he doesn't see him as a womanizer. Michael said it's not womanizing. He said the ladies love him and he gets a lot of women. Howard asked what the point of this chapter is. Michael said it's just like this conversation. He said it's a debate. Gary asked what the book is about.
Howard said that he's a fan of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Michael said he loves all of them. Howard said he likes Beverly Hills. Michael said he likes New York and Atlanta the best. He said that he doesn't care about Game of Thrones or House of Cards. He said this is what TV is all about. Michael let out some weird noise and Howard had to ask what that was. Michael said it was a hock. He said it was his first of the morning.
Howard said Michael covers it all in this book. He said he's blowing the lid off of everything.
Howard said he's reading a book about the Ascent of Hitler. Michael asked what he's going to do with that. Howard said it's time to play Cocktionary. He said that he wants to go out with a bang. He said he's the first celebrity to play this game.
Michael said he's taken abuse on the show and all he wants is his time with Howard. He said he wants some respect and this is what the fuck he gets. Howard said he's going to enjoy this. Michael didn't think so.
Howard said this is a new chapter for his next book. Howard said Sal and Richard are going to come in nude and use their cocks as paintbrushes. He said they will play Pictionary but with their cocks. Howard said Michael has to figure out what they're drawing. Howard said whoever wins gets to paint the forehead of the loser with his cock.
Howard said it's time to play Cocktionary. Richard and Sal came in and Michael said they're some nasty mother fuckers. Sal spread his ass cheeks for Michael. Howard told the guys to calm down a bit. Howard said Sal is uncircumcised. Michael said he's a disgusting animal. He said he shaves his whole body. Sal said he does. Sal and Richard were fluffing jump their cocks.
Howard said they have to play the game. Howard said they're going to do a coin toss first. Sal was going to do that with his pouch. Michael asked how he has submitted to this for so long. Howard said it's Cocktober. Howard asked if anyone is going to buy Michael's book. Sal said Michael will.
Sal did the coin toss with his cock. Richard won the toss so he's going to pick something to paint with his cock. Howard said Michael has to try to figure it out. Michael said he's happy to be there. Richard was ready to go. Howard said Richard knows what he has to paint. Richard started and Michael said he's observing. Michael said it's a face of some sort. He said he thought it was a flower at first. Howard said he knows what it is. Michael said ''it might be the sun'' so Howard took that because it was right.
Howard asked if Michael has shown his cock on TV or movies. Michael said no. He said he has kids. Howard asked if he has a big cock. Michael said it would have to be the right part to show it.
Howard asked what it was like painting with his cock. Richard said it was fun. He said he should have used yellow paint.
Howard said now Sal has to go and has to beat the time that they just had with Richard. Sal was using blue paint. He knew what he had to draw. Howard had him start and Michael was guessing a lot of things. Howard wasn't sure what he was drawing. Robin asked what it was. Fred and Howard knew. Michael got it in 41 seconds to Richard's 40. Howard asked if Robin could beat that. Robin said she's not sure. Howard said he's not sure either.
Howard said they did a good job there. Howard said Richard won so he has to paint Sal's forehead. Richard was going to paint an R on Sal's forehead. Richard did his thing and Sal freaked out. Howard said something just happened. Sal got his mouth on his cock and he freaked out. Michael said it went right in his mouth. Sal asked ''What the fuck!?'' Howard asked why he closed his eyes. Sal said he trusts this asshole. Howard asked why he did that. Richard said it was a goof. He said he messed up. Robin said he was aiming for his mouth. Sal said it never occurred to him that he'd do that. Howard asked if Richard came. Richard said he did.
Howard had Richard do his thing again. He had his balls on Sal's face. Howard asked how his cock tasted. Sal said it was a little Cheesy. Howard said Michael's mouth is open like he's in shock. Michael said they should be ashamed of themselves. He said Sal was so happy when that cock landed in his mouth.
Howard said they're all there to celebrate Michael's new book. Howard asked about what he wrote about Bill Simmons. Michael said he had reached out to Bill to promote this book and he didn't get back to him quick so he vented about him on his podcast. He got mad at him for that but he doesn't want to pile on.
Howard said this has been an exciting morning. Howard gave him a plug for the book and Sal said this book is a piece of shit. Michael told him to shut the fuck up. Howard gave him some more plugs for a book signing and stuff like that.
Howard asked Michael if he has anything to say about the book to recap. Michael said no. He said Howard and Robin and Gary are great. He said for a fan of the show this is great. He said that Sal used to be his main guy but he doesn't know what that thing is he has hanging there. He said he's not sure how he'll sleep tonight. Sal said just read your own book, that will put you to sleep. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said this is a great song. He sang along with it for a few seconds. Fred played Robin singing too.
Howard asked where George is with an announce. They played a clip of George with some Star Trek trivia for Cocktober.
Howard said that was exciting with Michael playing Cocktionary. Howard said he thinks they could syndicate that on the internet.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's calling to agree with him about Led Zeppelin's ''Love Song'' being the best love song ever. She said it was her wedding song this summer. Howard said people were trying to debate him like Robin. Howard said she has written him an apology letter.
Howard said they went out on the street and asked people who they would rather baby sit their kid, Howard Stern or Harvey Weinstein. Howard said this has to be a slam dunk for him. He said Harvey has been accused of sexual assault by dozens of women or billions of women. Howard said there's no way he can lose this. He said his reputation has to be horrible if he loses this.
Howard played a clip of people answering the question and people were picking Harvey over Howard. They said Harvey is more trustworthy than Howard Stern. Howard said he thinks he got one vote out of all of those. Howard said he was a camp counselor and worked with children. Robin said it's a shame he has to defend himself.
Howard said he worked with boys and girls and he has to toot his own horn here. Howard said he was so great as a camp counselor that they promoted him to take 15 and 16 year olds on a cross country trip on a bus. Howard said most people had to be a counselor for years. He said he was just one year.
Howard said they asked people about him and Kim Jong Un and they picked Kim Jong Un over him. Howard said something is going on. He said he doesn't like the sound of those people. Howard said when Jimmy Kimmel brings his daughter over he sings the name game for her.
Howard said he has to beat Bashar al-Assad. He said they went out and asked people on the street about him and Bashar al-Assad. Howard said he has to win this. Howard played the clip and people picked Bashar al-Assad over him to baby sit their kids.
Howard said they went out and asked these people if they would rather have a python or Howard Stern baby sit. They picked Howard over the python. Howard said finally he's getting picked. There were some who picked the python. Howard said he won by one. Robin said it was getting close. Howard said don't bring that up.
Howard said he is so honorable. He said he really is. Robin said they don't know him. Howard said they really don't. He said he has to beat a poisonous spider. Howard played the interviews and people were picking Howard over the spider for the most part. There were a couple who said that the spider would be better.
Howard said he did win. Robin said it got close again. Howard let out a sigh. Howard asked if you would rather have dog shit or Howard Stern baby sit your kid. He had people picking the shit.
Howard said they usually wait too long to do a tribute to Will. Howard said they're going to do one while he's still alive. Howard said they met Will in October 2002. Howard said he was called Will the Fart Man. Howard said he explained over the phone how he farts. Howard had him farting on the line back then. Howard played a clip of him blasting out some farts over the phone.
Howard said a star was born that day. He said he can spot a star. He said that's why he was on America's Got Talent. Howard said he wishes he had this talent. Howard said Will was so confident. Howard said he was the strong silent type. Howard said Will told them he discovered his powerful sphincter when he was about 12. Howard played a clip of Will talking about that. He would fart into the pipes in the shower and it would come out through the pipes and annoy people in the house.
Howard said Will impressed them when he came into the studio for the first time on terrestrial radio. Howard said Will blasted 357 farts in 5 minutes. Howard had some audio of him blasting a 30 second fart.
Howard said that might have been one of the best 30 seconds of the show ever. Howard said he's proud that he introduced the world to Will the Farter. Howard said that was his Stairway to Heaven. He said that was on terrestrial radio. He said when they got to satellite this is the place that was invented for that. Howard said Will had a fart where he imitated a busy signal on the phone. Howard played a clip of that.
Howard said most people don't have that kind of sphincter control. Howard said Will would come in and make different sounds for them. Howard had some audio of him blasting some out through a megaphone.
Howard said in 2008 Will wanted to paint a picture with his farts. He would blast the paint out of his ass. Howard played a clip of Will doing that with different paints. He blasted out a few colors with really wet sounding farts.
Howard said that was a great show that day. He said it inspired him to start paining. Howard said he was a smelly Jackson Pollock. Howard said Fred called him Stincaso.
Howard said he kept reinventing himself too. Howard said one of his favorites was when Will came in and had his mother answering trivia questions. When she got one wrong she'd have to get farted on by her son. Howard said she got a lot wrong. Howard said in this clip he asked her to complete the phrase ''Four score and seven ____'' and then Will farting on her. Howard played the clip and Will's mom got the wrong answer so she had to get farted on.
Howard said he bets that was a quiet car ride home. Howard said he told her that she must have known what she was in for when she gave birth to that asshole. Howard said she made a few bucks but not that much. Howard said Will has been a great resource for the show.
Howard said a guy called in a few years ago asking to sing a song but Will had to fart in his face. Howard said they put the guy, Dion, in a stockade and Will farted on him while he sang. Howard played a clip of the guy singing while Will farted on him.
Howard said that appearance didn't propel his career. He said he hasn't heard from that guy since. Howard said he thinks that's how Ed Sheeran got his start.
Howard said they salute Will on his 15th anniversary on the show. Howard said in 2016 Wendy the Slow Adult sentenced High Pitch Erik to the gas chamber and Will walked in with leather chaps on and he blasted in Erik's face. Howard said Erik's voice dropped a few octaves that day. Howard played a clip from that show. Erik was talking about how disgusting it was in a really deep voice. Howard said it didn't work because Erik went right back to threatening people's lives.
Howard played a montage of Will's farts as part of the tribute. In the clip they had a ton of Will's farts from over the years.
Howard said he has the asshole of a champion. He played another song for him that had his farts in it.
Howard asked if anyone wants to hear from Bobo. Robin said they haven't talked to him most of the week. Howard said blame Robin, not him. Howard took the call and Bobo said that's nice that Robin is in his corner. Bobo asked Howard if he believes that Kathy Griffin is being blacklisted from Hollywood and if he thinks it's Trump related. He asked for his thoughts. Howard played a Bobo song parody. Howard forgot what the question was. Howard said he doesn't think she's being blacklisted.
Howard asked why he would bring that up. Bobo said that she's on social media saying that she's not getting any work. Howard said he doesn't think anyone gives a shit. Howard asked where she's being blacklisted from. Bobo said she was talking about getting canceled from something. Howard said she's welcome to come in there any time. Howard said there is so much Trump news that no one even remembers that she did that. Howard said there's so much else going on with Trump that he's not sure anyone remembers.
Howard said no one cares about that like no one cares about this call Bobo made. Fred did an impression of Bobo asking questions. Howard played another song parody about Bobo and his awful calls. Howard played a commercial parody about an OJ Simpson album.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the show is better than ever. Howard thanked him. The caller said he works for a company and the people get more offended by Will the Farter than anyone. Howard said he considers him one of the greatest ever.
Howard said he's not the only one giving him accolades. Howard said there's a show that says he should be the person to interview OJ now that he's out of prison. Howard said he's ready to do that. Howard played a clip from this show where the hosts suggested he interview OJ. They were throwing out a bunch of names and one of the hosts mentioned Howard's name. They were going back and forth between Oprah and Howard.
Howard said if OJ is willing to show his cock they can get him in this month for Cocktober. Howard said they're always looking for celebrity cock in Cocktober. He said the rest of the year they're looking for vagina.
Howard said it would be weird to interview OJ. He said he thinks he'd still be in his own denial and he hasn't learned anything over the years. Howard said once they find those killers he'll be vindicated. Robin said they've just been living a great life while he's been in prison.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to tell him not to be hard on himself over the Kim Jong Un stuff. He said it would be interesting to ask if they would rather have OJ or Howard. Howard said they did that and OJ won. Howard said he hasn't killed anyone himself but they pick OJ over him. Howard said it's all fucking bullshit.
Howard said he wants to play this clip of Scott the Engineer talking about his day. Howard said he has a black cloud over him. Howard said this is Scott's day in review. Howard played the clip and Scott talked about getting up at 4am after only 2 hours of sleep. He went to make coffee and the coffee maker made a sharp piercing sound and shot grounds in his face and on the floor. He cleaned up and got in the car to get coffee. He went to work and everyone was talking about fantasy football but he wasn't doing well in the league. His star quarterback has a torn ACL and he's out for the rest of the year. Scott said he wanted to get a bagel but he only got a stale half eaten pumpernickel.
Howard said the suicide hot line exploded after that. Howard said that was really his day. He said he should play one a day because he has so many. Howard played Scott singing a song about black clouds raining on him. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he has Kid Rock there. Howard said his album ''Sweet Southern Sugar'' will be available on November 3. Howard said he's not sure when he saw him last. Kid said it was before he was ''racist.'' He said nothing was happening until he said he was running for senate. Kid said when he said ''maybe'' then everyone said he was a Klan wizard and all of that.
Howard said Kid doesn't care what any gay person does. He said he's not homophobic. Kid said he's got that mixed up with racist. Howard said he came up doing rap music and he's not racist. Howard said he had a confederate flag in his act so maybe it's that. Kid said he has thought about that. He said Howard is the only interview he's doing. He said he's going to announce his new record in a second. He said that's why people come here. Kid said he had notes but he lost them.
Kid said that he understands the narrative with Colin Kaepernick. He said that he gets that. He said he tried it with the confederate flag. He said he likes southern rock music and he's against the PC culture so he's a rebel and he won an NAACP award. He said now they don't get his narrative now.
Howard asked if he's running for senate. Kid said he's going to say what he's doing today. Howard said before he does that he wants to know if it's weird to get political as a musician. Kid said it's the worst advice he ever gave himself. He said it's the most creative thing he's ever done though. He said he has seen everyone's true colors after all of this.
Howard said they should make some news. Howard said the senator from Michigan is Debbie Stabenow so is he going to run against her. Kid said he had notes about this to read today and he lost them. He said he had them like 2 weeks ago. Robin said he's already screwing up.
Howard asked Kid what he's saying today. Kid said he has so many people supporting him. He said he's getting letters from all over the world. Howard said Governor Patacki endorsed him. Howard said he said he's the exact candidate we need. Kid said ''fuck no'' he's not running for senate. He said he's releasing an album in November and he's going on tour. He said he's not running.
Kid said that someone said he was running and he just said they should get some signs made. He said everyone gets their panties in a bunch over that. He said he had people calling and asking if it was really happening. He said they were on the in and they knew it wasn't.
Howard said he was running for governor of New York and he was going up in the polls. He said there was no way he wanted to be governor. He said he had to get out of it. Howard said he doesn't think Trump wanted this or needs it. Kid said Trump is the fucking shit. Howard said he likes him personally but he doesn't think he's into it as President. Kid said that he and his friends talk about it and they wonder about his narrative.
Howard asked what happened when he went to the White House. Kid asked who wouldn't go. He said he played Obama's inauguration. He said he didn't vote for him but he played. He said that he wasn't allowed to play for Bush. Kid said he just went to do the Obama thing.
Howard asked if he has met 5 presidents. Kid said he has. He said he and his friends are all blown away by that. Howard said he saw him on TV with Ted Nugent. He said he was together with Sarah Palin. Kid said they were invited by Sarah Palin. He said he doesn't care who the president is, he's going to go.
Howard asked if he called Ted and asked what to wear. Kid said he wore this sweater actually. He said he struggled with that a little bit. He said he wasn't sure if he should wear a suit.
Howard asked if he travels with Ted. Kid said he has his own jet. He said Ted came from Texas. Howard asked if Sarah met them at the White House. Kid said he had never met her before. He said he was super excited. Kid said that she's very pretty. Howard asked why he wasn't going to say that. Kid said he knows he's going to ask about his dick.
Kid told Howard that he's such a great interviewer. He said that when Chris Robinson was on the show and said he didn't want to be part of the music business he agreed. He said he doesn't want to be on TV or be interviewed. Howard said he must be having a great life. Kid said he can't believe how much money he has. He said he's shocked that he's where he is. Howard said he grew up in Michigan and the odds of being a rock star is a billion to one. Kid said his parents are still married and he has a nice family. He said it pisses people off. He said he was in a middle class family and he didn't come from an awful place. He said he wanted to be black like every other white kid when he was young.
Howard asked what happened when he got booed at the game he was at. Kid said there were people booing him but half of the place was applauding him. He said that it's the left wing media that spins it that way. Kid asked if Howard really thinks that's going on. Howard said he gets very upset when he hears people knocking the New York Times. He said that this paper going away would be a big blow to us. He said our free press is the greatest thing in the world. Kid agreed with him on that. Howard said that the news outlets have their agendas on both sides. Howard said he loves watching it all. Kid said if Howard had boobs and hair plugs he'd marry him.
Howard said he's all over the place. Howard said Kid is a happy guy and he's a grandfather at 46. Kid said it keeps his street cred or Hillbilly redneck in check.
Kid said he told Eminem's manager the other night that he didn't want to get divided by this booing and cheering thing. He said that he has people thinking that he's running for senate. He said he isn't but he might if the left wing keeps fucking with him. He said he will run and go to DC and beat the living shit out of people up on the hill. Howard said he just announced he's not running and now he might run. Howard said he has to concentrate on music.
Howard asked if Kid ever ran for office in high school. Kid said no fucking way. He said he was voted class clown.
Kid asked about his pinkie tattoo. Howard said it's the Ohm signal. He said that he got a tattoo. Then Kid saw another one. Howard said he has a bunch. Robin said she has 3. Kid said he has a bunch too. Howard said he saw that Justin Bieber just got his whole chest tattooed. He said that might be too much.
Howard said he had Robert Plant on the other day and Kid Rock was on the Kennedy Center Honors. Howard said Kid came out and sang ''Ramble On.'' Howard asked how great that was to do. Kid said they thought he was just a dumb rapper. Howard asked if he was nervous singing one of their songs in front of them. Kid said he wanted to take away from what he was going to do so he wore an outfit to take the attention away. Kid said he was practicing a lot with that song. He sang some for Howard. He said he's a rocker. Kid said they asked what he was going to wear when they saw him in his outfit. He said they thought he should wear a sport coat or something but he said no way that's happening. He said he was getting ready to go on and he asked this girl to get out of there and go to a bar. He said he was ready to leave. Kid said she told him he was so sweet and it turned out that it was Caroline Kennedy. He said he still wore his t-shirt on stage.
Howard asked if he had to get drunk for that. Kid said no way. He said he's only gotten drunk 2 or 3 times before work. He said he works his ass off. He said he does a lot of shit like singing to himself in the mirror and things like that. He said he's not the most talented person on earth and he has to practice. He said that's why he's done with the music business.
Howard said he makes a good point. He said that he has a hard job. Kid said that Howard and Robin are so great and he listens to him religiously. He said he doesn't want to hear what anyone has to say unless they're on Howard's show. He said he might be tickling his balls a bit. He said that's why he's coming on the show now. He said he fought to get in there 20 years ago. He said this is why he's there now. He said he will do an interview with Dan Rather too. He said he can pick and choose now that he's rich.
Howard said he loves how honest he is. He said the music business is a young person's game. Kid said he doesn't want to meet anyone. Robin asked if there's any joy. Kid said there is with the money. He said he hopefully will get to just go out and play without having to suck balls at radio stations. He said he'd love to be like John Mellencamp or Tom Petty some day. Howard said he saw Springsteen's show on Broadway and it was so great.
Howard said he heard a story about Kid and Joe Perry. Howard said Joe and Steven Tyler were feuding and he heard that Joe called Kid Rock to come in and do some tunes together. Kid said he just wanted to fuck with Tyler. Howard said he heard he told him he isn't his bitch and he didn't want to do it. Kid asked how he hears this shit. Howard said he hears it through the grapevine. Kid said he ribs Tyler now. He said he asks him about doing American Idol. He said no one wants to do that. Kid said he tries to put the shoes on the other feet. He said he'd be a great life coach. He said if working with Joe would be good he would have done it. He said he's not going to fuck with that.
Howard asked Kid about writing music and if he writes with anyone else. Kid said not really. He said he likes to work by himself. He said he starts making music and he writes down his thoughts. He said that he doesn't like people telling him how to do things. He said that he had someone tell him to slow one song down and he didn't want to do it. He did it and 6 months later he hears why the guy asked him to do that.
Howard said that Kid played at the show that Soundgarden played right before Chris Cornell killed himself. Kid said he can't make sense of that. He said that he's doing a tour and he's only going to be playing on Fridays and Saturdays. He said he's been watching all of these guys and Googling the average age of a pop star being 40. He said he beat it by 6. He said this shit will kill you. He said he's trying to take care of his band and his family. He said that he has so much money he's not sure what to do with it. Howard said he has been very philanthropic. Howard said he raises money for charity. Howard asked if he really has that much money. Kid said he has tons. Howard asked if he has a 100 million. Kid wasn't saying. He was just smiling according to Howard.
Howard said last time he saw Kid he was charging 10 bucks for tickets. Kid said he's going to write a book some day and expose all of this stuff. He said he has a profit sharing thing that he does. He said if he gets to a certain number he gives based on what goes into his pocket. He said that's how he pays his band. He said he tries to pass the savings on to his band. Kid said that he was making more money doing it that way because it was easy to sell tickets. He said they were selling 16,000 a night. He said they didn't let the rich mother fuckers buy the tickets in the front row.
Kid said that the night to go see a show is on a Friday or Saturday so that's why he's doing that. He said he's not charging a lot and he can still make money.
Howard asked if he still has the Kid Rock cruise. Kid said that is bananas. He said if you ever want to see America then come on the cruise. He said he takes like 10 bands on the cruise with him. He said that the bands are better than him.
Howard said he wasn't done with the question about the guys who kill themselves. Howard asked if it's the pressure. Kid said he will never understand. He said his cousin killed himself when he was young. He said he has a song on the new record about it. He said he thinks we all feel like that at some point. He said that with kids you're going through puberty and all. He said he will never understand what happened to Chester Bennington or Chris Cornell. He said he can't even fathom that. He said it seems so selfish to him. He said at the same point he's trying to be open minded. He said he's fine with gay people marrying each other but he will never understand Bruce Jenner. Howard said he's not hurting him and that's his life. Howard said this is what he wants to do. Howard said he's not threatened by that. Kid said he's not either. He said he just doesn't understand it. Howard said he doesn't have that compulsion so of course not. Robin said he feels fine in that body.
Howard said he looks at Kid's life and he was married to Pam Anderson twice. Kid said he just sold that house and it was the best 2 million he lost. Howard said that was a crazy part of his life. Kid said he's going to say how much he loves his fiancee at this time. Howard said Kid seemed kind of miserable back then with Pam. Kid said he thought he was doing what he was supposed to do in his career. He said that he thought it was like the play book for being a celebrity. He said he got to the end of that book and he thought it sucked. He said he wasn't happy doing that. He said Tom Petty is dead at 66 and he can't believe that. He said he was one of the best ever. He said he's not doing this shit anymore. He said he has to say no at some point.
Howard said he has worked his whole life to get to this point and he can make a ton of money. Howard said having time at home with his family is the best. Kid said he's waiting for his granddaughter to stop being afraid of him. Howard told him to sing The Name Game with her. Howard demonstrated the song for Kid. He said kids are scared of him too but then he sings and they're fine. Kid said he's not going to force it. He said that she's fine after 30 minutes or so.
Howard said Kid has sold more than 26 million albums. Howard asked if he's in the rock and roll hall of fame. Kid said he's not but he's eligible. He said he gets to induct people but they don't put him in. Howard said he thinks he deserves to be in. Howard asked if he gives a shit. Kid said not at all. He said he has everything he needs. He said he has his own plane. Howard said look at you.
Kid said he was saying this last might. He said he had a house in Malibu that was 12 million. He said he hated the house. He said he sold it and bought the airplane. He said he kind of got the house because of... Howard said ''Pam.'' Kid said people say there's nothing better than pussy but that plane is better. He asked if Howard flies commercial. Howard said no. Howard asked why the plane is better. Kid said he will live in his double wide in Alabama and sell everything but that plane. He said he will get rid of everything but that plane. Howard asked if he took it there to New York. Kid said he did. He said he has several pilots. He said there is nothing bigger than a plane. He said it costs like 60 grand to fly back and forth.
Howard asked how often he flies on that plane. Kid said that his passion was to make his life easy. He said if someone is doing something the hard way he'll tell them. He said he's not going to the fucking airport. He said he'll take his friends out to fly to dinner. He said he has a lot of problems and money and pussy aren't one of them.
Howard asked kid about being engaged. Kid said he's 46 so he has to grow up at some point. He said Robin can call him Senator Rock.
Howard said that Kid became friends with Robert O'Neill. Kid said he had dinner with him last night. He said to say hello. He said Megyn Kelly did too. Howard said Robert is the guy who put 3 bullets in Osama bin Laden's head. Howard asked how they became friends. Kid said his neighbor in Florida is on FOX News. He said that he's not sure how much he can give away. Kid said everyone is listening. Kid said it's through his neighbor. He said he has a big American flag on his garage down there. He said the neighbors aren't sure if he can do that. He said Robert was walking by the house and his neighbors didn't want to bother him. Howard asked where in Florida he lives. Kid said in Jupiter. He said his neighbor is Steve Ducy. He said he's the one who introduced them.
Howard asked what they talk about when they get together. Kid said all sorts of shit that he can't talk about. Howard asked if it's classified stuff. Kid said he would never tell him anything classified. Kid said he was in his wedding. He said they hit it off. Kid said that if Howard had him over for dinner he'd be his friend too. Howard said he's scared of him. Kid said he gets why Kimmel is getting political. He said Megyn Kelly is doing a show now and it's the left wing media keeping her from doing well. Howard said it's jut not the right fit for her. Howard said it has nothing to do with the left wing media.
Howard asked if Kid sang at Robert O'Neill's wedding. He said he did sing but he was drunk and wasn't really performing. He said that he's a sucker for that stuff.
Howard asked what they were talking about. Kid said his tour and album. Howard said he was going to say to him about politics that other than Al Franken he doesn't think that people in entertainment should be politicians. Howard said it's like what Kid said. He said life is short and if you have a lot of money you don't want to work hard for that job. Kid said he struggles with the fact that maybe he hasn't served his country enough. He said he has spent time with these guys and gals around the world and he wonders what he's actually done. He said that he has a jet and a shitload of money. He said he might want to try to make this country better. Kid said after he's done with the Klan he'd like to serve his country. Howard said he came out against the Nazis and he's for gay rights and health care. Howard said he's not a fan of abortion but he thinks that they have the right to an abortion. Howard said he's liberal in some ways. Howard told him to sit home and enjoy his life.
Howard said he has to talk about his new album. Howard said stop with being a senator. Howard said the album is called ''Sweet Southern Sugar.'' Howard said it's coming out November 3. Howard said he's not running for Senate.
Kid asked Howard what kind of money he's made from Sirius. Howard said he's not talking about that. Kid said it has to be a shit ton of cash.
Howard asked if Kid is the sheriff of a town. Kid said he was interviewed about the FBI about that. He said this guy was trying to raise money for body armor and they had to go through a class to train to get a concealed weapon. He said that he thought the guy was putting money in his pocket. He said that's who they're investigating. Howard said he wasn't even asking about that. Howard said he had no knowledge of that. Kid said this is why he's not doing any other interviews.
Howard said he heard he carries a badge and a gun there in the town. Kid said he has the sirens and stuff on his cars. He said if he does multiple shows he has a siren in his care that gets people out of his way. He said he did some shows near his house and he used to get a police escort. He said they slow you down so he does it himself now.
Howard said he hates getting his picture taken. He said if he looked like John Stamos he'd do it all day. Kid said if he looked like Brad Pitt he'd be doing that all day long. Howard said he hates having his taken. Kid said he doesn't take a good one either. Kid said when he got notoriety he would be out and someone would ask for a picture. He said they'd ask but then they didn't have a camera on them. Then they'd get the instamatic. He said now it's so easy they'll take it from 20 yards away as a selfie. Kid said that people will ask to buy you a drink but you know they just want to take pictures. He said he'll turn that down.
Howard asked how long he wrote this album. He asked how many songs are on it. Kid didn't know. He said he thinks there's 12. Howard said the album is called ''Sweet Southern Sugar.'' Howard was going to play a song but he asked why he's still making music. Kid asked why he's still doing radio. Howard said he likes doing the show and when he does a good one and people like it it's a good feeling. Kid said he thinks he just likes winning. Howard said he will answer his question when he leaves.
Howard said he's going to play ''The Greatest Show on Earth.'' Howard played the song and said that's rockin' still. Howard said he likes it. Howard asked if the show is his live show. Kid said it is. Kid said that he says ''suck my dick'' in just about every song so he can't get his songs played on radio. Howard played some of his song ''Po Dunk'' after that. Howard said he likes this one too. He said he's singing along already. He said the hook is everything. Kid said as the years go by you start listening to the lyrics. He said he didn't know that Led Zeppelin was singing about cool shit.
Howard said Ronnie the Limo Driver is a big fan of his. He said he's getting the 90 year old guys. Kid said he's close.
Howard played a song called ''Tennessee Mountain.'' Kid said he has a double wide out there on a mountain top. Howard asked how many houses he has. He said he has 3 in Michigan alone. Howard said he has like 10 houses. Howard asked if he flies to them all. Kid said he flies to dinner with friends. He said no one is going to say no to that.
Howard asked who is at the house in Tennessee today. Kid said his fiancee is out there hunting deer. Howard said he could never kill a deer. Howard said he doesn't eat meat. Kid said when he comes to his house he's eating some meat. Howard said he'll throw him out of that house.
Howard played his song ''Tennessee Mountain.'' Kid said he's got a good album. Howard agreed and said he has to go out and promote. Kid said he's not going to do that. He's going on Megyn Kelly's show but she's a friend. He said he won't even perform on shows anymore. He said come out to see his show to see him perform.
Howard said Kid Rock's new album is available on November 3. Howard said Kid is doing albums and going out and performing. Kid asked how many times he's been on the show. Howard said he's not sure. He said maybe 5 or 6. Kid said it has to be more than that.
Howard said Kid should stick to rock and forget the senator thing. Howard said his tour kicks off in January in Nashville. Howard said he should play his classic stuff. Kid said he'll sneak in some of the new stuff. Robin said that she went to see McCartney recently and he sneaks stuff in and knows that people are going to use the bathroom during that. Howard said you can get tour dates and all of that at KidRock.com. He wrapped up and went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said they had some fun today with Cocktober fun and Kid Rock. Howard said they are going to keep it real with the news now. They played a song parody about Fred for Cocktober but Howard said he can't even take it anymore. He asked for a Robin song parody instead.
Howard said they had endless hours of fun today. Howard said they had Michael Rapaport and the Will the Farter tribute too. Robin said this is like 2 shows in one.
Howard took a call from Apples who said he and his wife looked at the Trans Playmate in Playboy and she has ''ass chreeks'' like Ronnie said. Howard said he hasn't seen that many women that look that good. Howard said if you didn't know you wouldn't look at her wondering if she was a dude. Apples said that she doesn't show her feet. Howard said he doesn't care about feet. He said he will bang you without feet. Howard said he's into vagina. Robin said there's a web site called WikiFeet that's all about feet. Howard said that's not for him. Robin said she was given a 1 on that site. Howard said he'd rather have a good looking face. He said he has really nice feet but he'd rather have a nice face. Howard said his feet are so nice they could be used as a model's feet. Howard said he has a horrible face and a terrible body. Robin said they say Joy Behar has great feet too. Howard said she can't be happy about that.
Howard said he saw that Pam Anderson has a 5 on that WikiFeet site. Howard said she doesn't care about that. Howard said George Takei has terrible feet. Robin said Steven Tyler has bad feet too. Howard said he does and he talks about it. Howard said Beth got a 4.5 on WikiFeet. Howard said he doesn't even look at her feet. Howard said he's never seen Robin's feet. Robin said they're ugly. Howard said she doesn't have to worry about that.
Robin started her news with a story about a man who had his penis stuck in a jar for 14 hours. Howard said that happened to Fred in Washington. Robin said the guy's wife got him a bottle to pee in and he got it stuck on his penis. Robin said they waited until it became too painful. Howard said why not just break the bottle. Robin said she was thinking about what men have stuck their penises in. Howard said they did that doll thing on the show. Howard said he knows a guy who used a pillow to fuck. He said he has never heard of such perversion. Robin said she heard about a guy who used cocoa butter in the couch cushions of his parent's couch. Robin said another guy got his cock stuck in a 5 pound weight. Howard said Richard said he fucked a paper towel roll. Howard said he's not sure how you get off on that. Robin said he must have put something inside and lubed it up. Robin said there was a report of a guy who got his penis stuck in a toaster. Robin said there are people known as Penis Captivists. Robin said that's when the vagina locks up and won't let go. Howard said he didn't think that existed. Howard said his grandfather said he got locked up on and he had to punch a woman in the gut to get out. Robin said there was a couple having sex in a pool and the water made the vagina get a suction thing and it wouldn't let it out. Howard said Richard is stuck in Sal right now. He said they're fully nude. Robin said there was also a story about a man stuck in a wrench. Howard said some guys use vacuum cleaners and it rips the cock off. Howard said just jerk off, it's so great.
Robin asked if Howard jerks off the same way all the time. Howard said he odes. He said it's all over with after a short time. Robin said Men's Health has some secrets to masturbation that Howard may not know about. Howard said he has George Takei stuck in a pool pump right now. Howard picked up on Sour Shoes who asked him to talk about women so he can get soft. Sour was doing his George impression and talking about the suction in the pool. He said there he is 9 minutes later. He said he has a pool boy coming to get him out now. He did his Don Imus impression as the pool boy. Howard let him go after that.
Robin said the Men's Health story says that sometimes you should try edging when you have time. That's when you work yourself up to the edge and take a break before you finish. Robin said you wait and start over again. Then you do that 3 or 4 times and it will give you a more powerful ejaculation. Howard said that's stupid. He said the whole ideas is to get it over with. Howard said Fred ''edges'' throughout the show. Robin said they say to try the other hand. Howard said he doesn't want to do that. Robin said turn your hand around and twist it as you stroke. Howard asked why you would do that. Howard said you do it just so you can get back to doing what you were doing. He said he sometimes has to stop painting and jerk off. Howard said he grabs porn and does it quickly so he can get cleaned up and back to what he was doing. He said it's so disgusting. Robin said they also say there's no reason not to bring in a sex toy. Howard said don't listen to any of this. He said it's a ridiculous article. Gary said Richard used to schedule a date with himself and he'd have a glass of wine and a candle lit. Howard said he's stupid. Howard said you just whack into some tissues and act like it didn't happen. Howard did a live commercial read after that. He said Cocktober just took a horrible turn.
Robin said rappers are becoming game show hosts. Robin said that's interesting. Howard said it used to be radio announcers. Howard said now you need a rap career. Robin said Snoop Dogg is hosting the Joker's Wild. Howard said he loved that show. Robin said she didn't. Howard said that was Jeopardy for idiots back in the day. Howard said it's like tick tack toe compared to chess. Howard said you can run the whole board on Joker's Wild. He said you feel so smart. Robin said it's starting at 10 tonight on TBS. Robin had a clip from a promo for the show. Howard said it's Idiot Jeopardy. He said Bobo was the grand champion for 3 weeks in a row. Howard said he might being Cocktionary to the network. He said Ice Cube will be the host. Howard asked what other rappers are hosting games. Robin said a rapper is hosting Fear Factor and maybe a couple of others. Robin said she has to think about that. Howard said Snoop should be good so he's going to watch it.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said edging is cool. He said it works. He said you can do it during sex too. He said when you hold out and then cum it's much more intense. Howard said if he's masturbating the goal is to get it over with quick. Ralph said if you hold off and cum later it's hot. Howard said he has to hang up. Ralph said he recently switched to his left hand and it's different feeling. Howard said this guy is in his apartment. Howard hung up on him. He said he's doing it because he has no job. He said when you have a job you're happy to have free time. Howard said Ralph has switched hands. He's a fucking maniac.
Robin read a story about the Weinstein company being under investigation for civil and/or human rights violations now. Robin read the details of that investigation. Howard said the whole thing is strange to him.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing an impression of Ralph. He had the laugh down and even the voice was close. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Megyn Kelly and her interview with Bill O'Reilly. Robin said that Bill is firing back after that and he was on the Glenn Beck show. Howard said it's all just so funny. Howard said that they're all on these shows. Howard said come there and talk about it. Robin said Bill claims this is a further conspiracy. Robin said Bill doesn't get why Megyn is attacking him now. Robin said Megyn claims that she complained about Bill while they were working at FOX News. Howard asked what Bill's point of view. He asked if he did pay that 32 million out or not. Robin said he's just saying that these stories are a conspiracy to keep him off TV forever. Howard asked if he's denying the story. Robin said she doesn't hear a denial. She had some audio of Bill talking about this on Glenn Beck's show. Howard said he didn't hear the whole thing but he's wondering if he's saying it's all horse shit. Robin said he claims he made payments to protect his children. Robin said he's saying he paid ''settlements'' to protect his kids. Howard said for 32 million he could fight it and keep his reputation intact. Robin said he claims you can't win. Robin said Bill is also mad at God after the latest sexual misconduct accusation against him. Howard said how about God protecting the 6 million Jews who died or the 6 guys who died in Niger. ward said he's not mad at God and look at his face. Howard said Bill is losing it. Howard said Harvey Weinstein is cheap if he's just paying off women with $100,000.
Robin read a story about Terry Richardson being banned from working with major fashion magazines after sexual harassment claims surfaced about him. Robin said he directed Miley Cyrus' ''Wrecking Ball'' video. Robin said he's been accused and denied those accusations. Robin said this is going to keep going and going.
Robin said the President is going to be talking about tax reform today. Robin said Bob Corker is saying that it's just a photo op.
Robin said Mark Cuban is getting into politics. Howard said he's tired of celebrities getting into politics. Howard said other than Al Franken that is. He said that he's taking the job seriously. Robin said Cuban is saying he's considering running in 2020 for President. Howard said they need serious people in there. He said he's tired of this whole celebrity thing. Robin said it was never a fun job and all of a sudden it's the thing to do. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about John Stamos and his Fiancee. Robin said that he's marrying a 31 year old. Howard said he just heard about that. Robin said they just got engaged at Disneyland. Howard said she doesn't care about that. He said she has to go along with that. He said you have to be into Disney to be with that dude. Howard said John always said to him he had to find love. He said he was like ''Yeah, right.'' Howard said he was turning up every rock. He said that guy loves women. He said he told Jon that he had too many choices. Robin said she has a story about meeting John for lunch one afternoon and he had 1 girl at lunch and then he and Bob Saget were going to a show that night and the girl at lunch went to the bathroom and he asked her not to say anything about the show that night. Howard said this woman must be a super woman. He said she finally got him to settle down. Robin said they did a movie together. Howard said she must be perfect from head to toe. He said John will not tolerate any flaws. He said even if her feet are a 4. He said this guy has choice. Howard asked if they'll get married at Disneyland. Robin said of course. Robin said her name is Caitlyn McHugh. Howard said he was hoping it was Caitlyn Jenner.
Robin read a story about a study that was done that found the mortality rate has risen from 2014-2015 and 1 in 5 people in their early 70s are still working.
Howard had Sour Shoes on the phone again and he was doing his Gary impression talking about John Stamos' fiancee. Howard spent a little time talking to Sour Gary about John's girl. Sour cracked himself up with a mention about where a clip might be.
Howard said Sour called into the Mike Francesa show yesterday. Howard played the clip where Sour was doing his Gary impression saying he's going to miss him. He was starting to tell stories in Gary's rambling way. Mike hung up on him. Howard said he could listen to that all day long. Howard said Gary can really get into those long stories.
Howard had Ralph on the phone again and he said he's heard a lot about John's fiancee and he's really happy with her. Howard asked if he's spoken to her. Ralph said he has on Facetime a little bit. Howard said she has to be perfect if John is going for her. Ralph said he doesn't think John is that bad. Howard laughed. Ralph said she used to play Snow White at a Disney park. He said he's marrying Snow White. That's how he knew she was going to be the one. Howard said he can hear John complaining about her gaining a pound. Howard said if she farts once she's done. Howard said he guarantees John has never seen her dump. Howard said he's never seen Beth shit. He said even if this girl belches she's done. Howard said he wants to see this perfect person. He said he has to meet her. He said she must not have an asshole. He said she's a medical freak. Howard said she has to be perfect. He said he's never met the perfect person.
Robin said E-Cigarettes are banned in New York now. Robin said they signed the bill yesterday. Robin said now vaping is banned in all businesses in the city. Howard asked why that is. Fred played Sal letting out a cry. Howard said it's another great day for Scott the Engineer. Howard said he can't smoke that inside now. Howard did his impression of Scott for a short time. He played a song parody that Scott sang about ''Depressame Street.'' Howard said they're going to ban bowling next.
Robin read a story about Japanese scientists working on perfecting low fat pigs. Howard said just don't eat pigs. He said of all the things to invent.
Robin read a story about a new Taco Bell item that has chocolate in a taco. Robin said it's a Kit Kat Chocodilla. Robin said they're testing it out in Wisconsin now. They tested it in the UK last year.
Howard said he went and got his mercury level tested again and his mercury level is too high. He said he's been eating fish a lot. He said he had crazy shit going on with him and he got a test done and the government was alarmed by his level. He said he that anything over 12 is dangerous or not good. He said he cut way back on fish. He said he's down to 16 now and he's still getting letters from the government. He said he's practically vegetarian now. He said he had shrimp once this week and that's it. He said if fish didn't have mercury in them then it would be fine. Howard said he was eating salmon. He said he's down to water and carrots. He said he had a colonoscopy and he was asked if he was eating cucumbers. He said they found seeds up there. Howard said they told him to calm down with that. Howard said he had cucumbers last night but just a few. Howard said he's a creature of habit and he has the same thing. He said he has had the same breakfast for the past couple of years. He said it's almost time for lunch. He said he can't wait for his egg wrap.
Robin said the Cleveland clinic is saying don't comfort eat when the seasons change. Howard said he has 3 meals and nothing in between. Robin said they say that people can become depressed and people will eat to comfort themselves.
Robin read a story about how women in Missouri will have to wait 3 days before getting an abortion. Robin said the new law has health and safety standards for abortion clinics. Howard asked when they're going to let go of that issue. Robin said they're all about keeping the government out of the bedroom until it comes to that.
Robin read about how Ed Sheeran is talking about substance abuse. Howard said he talked about his drinking when he was in there. Robin said now he's changed his tune and he says it has to do with taking time off and crashing his bike. Robin said he recently crashed his bike and broke both arms in different places. Howard said he plays guitar so that's his livelihood. Robin said he cycled to the pub after crashing. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started the show talking about how he was up at 3 this morning bright eyed and bushy tailed. He said he had such a busy day yesterday. He had multiple meetings and he felt important after that. He said he went out to dinner last night and had fish like he's been trying to avoid. He said he ordered vegetarian stuff. He said he told the guys he was trying not to eat fish. Howard said they wanted to eat what he was eating. He said he wanted this for himself. He said it was making him mental because they didn't get the concept. Howard said he ordered vegetables and he knew they had them there at Nobu. Howard said they wanted to do it too. Howard said he wanted to order them stuff. Howard said he's in charge when he goes out. Robin said she used to go out and she'd have vegetarian stuff and he'd want her to have what he was having. Howard said the guys were eating what he wanted to eat. Howard said he ended up eating it all after ordering fish.
Robin said everyone is focused on what he's eating when you go vegetarian. Howard said Robin knows everything. Howard said she looks good today. Howard said he's going to play Harvey Weinstein and she's going to be a young starlet. Howard said he can't even imagine doing that. He wondered how you say that stuff to another human being. Robin said she's not sure how that works either. Howard said he's not sure how you say any of that.
Howard said he reads the accounts of that and wonders how he'd do that. Howard said think about the reality of asking a woman to watch you shower. He brought up Gwyneth Paltrow and how Weinstein is accused answering the door with his robe on and his cock out.
Howard took a call from Harvey Weinstein audio clips. The guys in the back played clips of fake Harvey talking to Howard. They had Harvey talking about rubbing against Dakota Fanning's titties and how he no longer thinks about that after going to rehab.
Howard said Harvey has some of the weirdest fantasies. Howard said there's a story in the paper about Harvey pulling a tampon out of a woman's vagina. Howard read some of the article and it says he forced himself on this woman. Fake Harvey said these women are saying he forced himself on them and that's exactly what happened.
Harvey asked Robin to shut up after she said something. Howard said he doesn't think he's cured. Howard said telling a woman to shut up is sexist. Harvey said the best women to jerk off in front of is foreign actresses. He said you can't understand them when they tell you to stop.
Howard said he has to go. He wrapped up with Fake Harvey. Robin said they always get female lawyers to defend them. Howard said yeah. Robin asked what that woman's life is like.
Howard said this was such an embarrassment. He said no one had lost a job so quick. Robin said he had changed his whole life already. He even missed the birth of his own child.
Howard said he was reading in the paper last week that Scaramucci started a new web site and within a day or two the first thing he does is hold a poll asking how many Jews died in the Holocaust. Howard asked why that would be your web site. Robin asked what kind of site that is. Howard said he's not even sure what that purpose was. Howard said the guy is self destructive. Howard said he claimed he wanted to show how much misinformation there is but he thinks it was more devious than that. Howard said he thinks it was about showing how whiny the Jews are. Howard said he knows Mel Gibson retweeted that poll.
Howard said he has never seen a guy self destruct so quickly. He said he must have something wrong with him. Robin said it does sound like something is wrong. Howard did his impression of Scaramucci talking about the site and how he had to scratch all of that. He had Scaramucci talking about all kinds of Jewish stuff that he could have created polls for.
Howard had Scaramucci asking how many Jews run the banks. He said ''All of 'em.'' Fake Scaramucci asked about how many horns a Jew might have on his head. He asked how many Jew candles are in a Jew Menorah. Robin said that's redundant. Fake Scaramucci said the answer is ''Who cares?''
Howard kept going with the Jewish polls and had Robin answering some of the questions he was asking. He asked how many Jew slumlords there are in Brooklyn. Robin said his is offensive. Scaramucci asked what the best temperature is for cooking the Jews in World War II. Robin said she doesn't know the answer to that.
Howard asked what kind of web site that was. He asked where he was going with that. Robin said she's not sure. Howard had Scaramucci saying it was educating the public and not anti-Semitic. Howard was doing the voice like he was from Chicago. Then he did the Name Game with Scaramucci.
Robin said he's in the middle of a divorce now so maybe he should take care of that instead. Howard kept going with the impression and asked more Jew questions. He was telling all kinds of jokes about the Jews. He said he has to go destroy what's left of his career now.
Howard wondered why the guy would do that. He said he had a lot of money from selling his business. Howard said he's never seen a guy like this. He wondered if the web site is still up. Robin wondered if they can get him on the show. Howard said he's sure they could.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves his impression of the Mooch and his agent guy. Howard said Gary was out in Los Angeles who was The Agent for Millie Bobby Brown and he said to Gary that he doesn't sound like that agent voice he does. Howard went into that impression of The Agent guy which is the same voice as Scaramucci. Howard did that impression for a short time too. He was talking about Millie Bobby Brown.
Robin said they've been talking about how she's growing up so quick that it looks like a woman working with children in the second season of Stranger Things.
Howard did his agent impression and had him telling Gary to tell Howard he doesn't speak like this. Howard kept going with the Chicago accent agent guy. He had him talking about Millie and what he has prepared for her. He said she's going to be a D-Cup whether she likes it or not. The Agent was saying that they want to put her in movies in China and America.
The Agent said that he doesn't want to go back to representing Bobby Brown if this Millie Bobby Brown doesn't work out. He said he studies her face and he goes right to the surgeon if he sees anything going wrong. The Agent said they're making a nice dime off of her. Robin said the kids were wearing jeans and t-shirts and she was in a designer dress. The Agent said that every move this child makes they inspect first. He said they have hours of classes for her. He said they had her legs stretched last year. Robin said she was wondering how she got so tall.
Howard had The Agent talking about having 70 Mexicans pull on her legs to stretch them. He said it took 3 weeks to do that. The Agent said they don't do that in America.
Howard kept going with the impression for a couple more minutes. Howard said he's watching the second season of Stranger Things. He said he has an advance copy of it. He said the first episode is very good. He said Millie has a cute hair do in the show. Howard said she has hair this time.
Howard said the Mooch story really drove him crazy. Howard said he ruins everything quickly. He said he was a successful business guy. Howard went back into his Agent voice and said that Mooch sounds the same. Howard had both of them talking and said there is a slight difference. Howard went back into the Agent voice and said he could do that all day. Howard asked how many people do an impression of her agent. Howard said not many.
Howard said that he did read that Scaramucci is dating Kimberly Guilfoyle from FOX News. Robin said she has no respect for her at all. Howard went back into his Agent voice and Robin thought he was doing Scaramucci. Howard said he has to take a break. The caller was still on the line and said he was talking about how he has to jerk off in the middle of painting. He said he has to do that when he's studying. Howard said that you just want to get it over with and get back to studying.
Howard said when he was in college he doesn't think he jerked off once. Howard said he had a couple of roommates and he doesn't remember ever jerking off. He said that he didn't do it at all in college. He said it's so weird. Howard said it would have been really weird to do it with a roommate. Howard said he never thought of it. He said he was so neurotic that he wasn't able to think about it. Howard said he never masturbated once during his college years. He said in high school he did it but not in college. Robin said on his brakes he must have.
Howard said he has never had a wet dream in his life either. The caller said he hasn't either. Robin asked why you would want to. Howard said he started jerking off later in life. Robin said you'd think when you can't find a woman that you would do it. Howard said it never even occurred to him to jerk off. He said when he did find a woman his load was like a tsunami. Howard said he did fuck some people who may not have been human.
Howard said he's so ugly. He said he got up at 3 in the morning and he was wide awake. He said he had anxiety. He said he put on the TV and watched Supergirl. He said it's a horrible show but he won't bail on it. He said Supergirl is so lame. He said whoever she fights is so lame. Howard said everyone figures out how to beat her and she has to go to humans for help. Howard said all she has to do is use her heat vision to burn a woman up and she doesn't know that. Howard said she's Stupidgirl. Howard said this girl was beating the shit out of her and she went to a scientist and the scientist says he invented an anti-psychic ability ray. Howard said it's ridiculous.
Howard said he also watched Bill Maher and all kinds of things. Howard said he turned on his Jimmy Kimmel appearance. Howard said he knew it wouldn't relax him. He said he knew he was going to get upset. He said he looks horrible. He asked what happened to him. Robin said he looked good. Howard said he doesn't even look human. He said he's the opposite of whatever John Stamos is.
Howard said Jason wants to argue with him about Supergirl. Jason came in and said that he thinks the show is darker this season and it's better. He said she did use her laser beams and missed. Howard told him to go back to his desk. He said he sounds lame.
Howard said he has a cool Cocktober thing to do. He said they're going to play Cock Jeopardy. Howard said they have to take a break. He let the caller go and went to break.
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Howard said these guys want to play Cock Jeopardy. Howard said that's what they're there for. Howard said it's time for the big game. Howard said they have 3 listeners Mike, Dan and Ryan. Robin said it looks like a line up. Howard said each of their contestants has a horrible thing that happened to their cocks. Howard said they're willing to share their stories with them.
Howard said he's going to go to Mike first. Howard asked how old he is. Mike said he's 35 and he's from Ithica, New York. Howard asked what he does there. Mike said nothing, absolutely nothing. Howard said he loves living in towns where there's nothing to do. Mike said he is a musician and he's been on the show before. He was on for Cockioke. He sang into Sal's cock.
Howard said they want to learn more about Mike. He asked what happened to his cock. Mike said this was all him. He said he was 11 or 12 and they found a snake. He said he kept it as a pet. He said they put the snake in their pants and let it slither through. He said the snake was really pissed by the time he got it in his pants. He said he felt it go down his shorts and then it clamped on to his penis. Mike said they're safe until you piss them off. He said it felt like a thousand tiny needles on his cock. He said the snake was hanging on and he told his friends to rip it off. He said he told his friends to do that. Mike said they pulled it off and the snake ripped in half. He said then the life died out of it and it came unclamped. Mike said he had to call his parents and go to the doctor's office. Howard said he's lucky he didn't bite his dick off.
Mike said they had to find the snake to make sure it wasn't poisonous. He said he was laying there and he didn't have pubic hair yet. He said that he was laying there and a young girl came in with a doctor's coat on. She was a student doctor. He said the guy was batting his dick around like a cat with this hot girl in the room.
Howard said next up is Dan. Howard asked where he lives. He lives in Fort Lauderdale. He said he's originally from Long Island. Howard asked how old he is. Dan said he's 38. Howard said he claims to have an 8 inch penis. Dan said he does have an 8 inch penis. He said he's a grower not a show-er. Howard said he has had a terrible experience with his penis too. Dan said he was like 24 and doing construction in Miami. He said he was using a brad nailer and he dropped it and grabbed the hose. He said it swung in and hit his cock. He said the nail went in through his cock and balls. He said it also had a punch to it. Howard asked how big the nail was. Dan said it's maybe 3 and a half inches long. Howard asked what happened after that. Dan said he shit himself. He said he was trying to pull the nail out and his brother came back from getting food. He said he had to get it out as soon as possible. He said he had been working all day and he hadn't showered. He said he smelled so bad that everyone in the room was smelling him. He said he was working with no AC or anything so he smelled bad.
Howard said he went to get checked out by the doctor and he smelled bad from sweating. Dan said the nurse was a male nurse and he talks like he's gay so he figured he's gay. He said he felt like it was funny to make a joke and his balls were huge like a grapefruit. He said he was dying in pain. He said the guy said to him that he has some really big balls. He said that it was very unprofessional. He said the guy was a little too attentive. He said he was all fucked up on Morphine and the guy is checking him out. He said he thought he was going to rape him. He said he wasn't able to have sex for a month.
Howard asked what happened after they pulled it out. Dan said he pulled it out himself. He said they had to sonogram his nuts too. He said it was a clean wound so there was no long term damage. He said he tried jerking off 3 weeks later and it was a nightmare. He said he could barely get hard. He said he was like 23 years old and he was getting cranky. He said after 5 weeks he was able to have sex with his girlfriend. He said it was like a tsunami when he did have sex.
Howard said that's some cock story. Dan said he has a song about it. Howard said he loves songs about that. Dan said it's less than 2 minutes long. Howard said he won't get through more than a minute before he cuts him off. Howard had Dan do his song. He sang about the nurse touching his cock and stuff like that.
Howard said Millie Bobby Brown's agent is on the phone. He did his impression asking if he wants him as his agent. Howard said he also has the gay nurse on the phone. One of the guys in the back was doing the voice. He spent a minute talking to Howard.
Howard had Sour Shoes doing his George Takei impression on the phone. He talked to him about the cock story too.
Howard said they're going to be playing the game in a minute. He said he has to meet Ryan first. Ryan did his Benjy impression. He said that he saw him out there and he's shorter and fatter than he thought he'd be. Howard said it's something to behold. Howard asked how old he is. Ryan said he's 32. He said in 2006 he was in the Marine Corp Infantry. He said they were in Iraq and a mortar landed close to him. Howard asked if he was the point man. Ryan said he was. Howard said the point man is the guy who is at the front and would knock down the door. Ryan said that's it. Howard said he was the point man in Vietnam. Howard said his buddies would push him right through the wall.
Howard got back to it and said Ryan is the point man. Ryan said they hit a house about 2 hours earlier and no one was in the house. He said there were some guys on the roof who were security. He said as he came out the back door they started dropping mortars on them. He said he was the first one out. He said he took shrapnel to the face. He said it's one of those things they stick in the tube and it flies up and lands. He said he got hit in the cock and face and his vest. Howard asked what happened next. Ryan said he had blood in his eye and thought he was blind. He said his buddy jumped down and ran out and grabbed him. He said he had shrapnel hanging out of his face and he thought his cock was gone. Fred played clips of Sal yelling that his cock was gone. Ryan said he has scars. He showed Howard. Howard said ''Oh man!'' Ryan said they were able to fix his cock. He said he's married and his wife is there with him now. He said he has 2 kids too.
Howard said he's able to do everything after that. Ryan said he is. Ryan said he got out in May of 2007. He said he did his full 4 years. He said he got an honorable discharge and didn't need a medical. Ryan said that Robin is his hall pass. Howard said he heard his wife is hit. Ryan said she is very much so. Ryan said he was with his first wife back then. He said that his wife is 25.
Howard asked if the first wife was turned off by the cock. Ryan said that she was unfaithful. He said his new wife is his reward for that. Ryan said that some buddies of his told him that she was single again so he got his shot.
Howard said he's a brave guy. He asked if he got the purple heart. Ryan said he did. He said he has it tattooed on his chest. He had a Hey Now tattoo too. Howard said he took shrapnel to the cock. Howard said they've all been through cock hell.
Howard said they're going to play some Cock Jeopardy. He said all of them get a $250 Untuckit gift card and a Flat Ronnie. Howard said they also have the chance to win $500. They were talking about Ronnie's lines and Fred played some of Ronnie's ''Get Down'' song parody.
Howard said all three of them could kick Ronnie's ass. Howard asked what they think of Brent's war stories. Ryan said he was a cop in Philly and saw someone try to make a citizen's arrest. He said that didn't work out so well.
Howard took a call from fake Trump who said he wants to thank Ryan for his service but he likes guys who didn't take shrapnel in their dick. He said his dick knew what it was getting into. Fake Trump said he's giving him the congressional medal of honor for fucked up tiny dicks. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard had Brent come in and talk to Ryan about the guy who tried a citizen's arrest and almost got his head blown off. Ryan told Brent not to try it. He said that he should stay the fuck out of it because there are trained people who can do the job. Brent said his wife stopped a robbery at a Starbucks. He said that this guy stuffed some sandwiches in his pants and she told him to stop or she'd call the cops. Brent said he actually took them out and threw them on the floor. He said the employees thanked her because they said if there is a loss while they're on duty then they get charged for it.
Howard said Ryan missed Brent a little bit. Brent said that's not cool to do when you're in the Marines. He said that they do not like each other. Brent thanked him for his service though.
Howard asked Brent about his wife and if they put the sandwiches back. Brent said they may have gotten thrown away.
Howard said that it's time to play Cock Jeopardy. Howard said they know a lot about cock and they have 4 categories which were Penis Potpourri, Penis Nicknames, Penis in History and Oral Sex audio questions.
Howard said he's going to play this until he gets bored. Howard said Jason and Jon will be the judges in the back room. Howard said don't forget to answer in the form of a question. Howard said Robin has been on regular Jeopardy and she forgot to do that and it cost her. Robin said no it didn't.
Howard said that he's going to start with Mike but Ryan said this is a huge day for him. He said he found a Butt Bongo Fiesta tape his father had and he used that to jerk off to. He said he left that over in Iraq actually. Howard said imagine those guys over there seeing that tape. He said ISIS could be jerking off to it too and they change the world with it.
Howard got back to Mike and asked what he wants. Mike asked for Penis Nicknames. Howard asked Mike what you call a penis that's big most of the time but doesn't get much bigger when erect. Howard said he's not sure what that is. Mike said he's going with micro-penis. Howard said no. He asked Dan what he thinks. Dan said he's going with Show-er not a grower. Robin said he said it once today already.
Howard said Dan has a point. He said now it's Dan's turn. Dan picked Penis in History. Howard asked him about British spies using this bodily fluid for invisible ink in World War 1. Dan said ''What is Semen.'' Howard said that's correct.
Howard said Ryan is next. Ryan picked Penis Potpourri. Howard said they say you eat 12 of these a year when eating fast food. Ryan said pubic hairs. Howard said he's correct.
Howard said now it's Mike's turn again. Mike went with Penis Potpourri. Howard said the average size of a male load is equivalent to this baking measurement. Mike said what is a tablespoon. Howard said wrong. Mike's answer was Teaspoon. He was right. Howard said that was a no brainier.
Howard said Dan has 3 and Ryan has 1. Howard asked Dan what he's going with. Dan went with the oral sex audio question. Howard said Tara Reid had a memorable scene in this movie. He played a clip where she says ''I'll suck your cock for $1000.'' Dan and Ryan didn't know. Mike didn't either. It was the Big Lebowski.
Howard said it's Ryan's turn. Ryan went with Penis in History. Howard said penis goes back to early man. He said Roman's recommended rinsing their mouths with this to whiten their teeth. IT was urine and Mike got it.
Mike was next. Howard said that this word is slang for a penis and a detective. He got it with ''Dick.''
Howard said that it's Dan's turn. Dan picked penis in history again. Howard said he was the man whose wife cut off his penis in 1993. Dan knew it was John Wayne Bobbit.
Ryan went next with penis nicknames. Howard said this is the language the slang word Schlong is derived from. He got it right with Yiddish.
Howard said it's Mike's turn again. Mike went with penis nicknames. Howard said Andrew Koenig played this man on Growing Pains. Mike knew it was ''Boner.''
Howard said Dan is next and he went with penis potpourri. He said with a man this lasts 3 seconds and with a woman 21 seconds. He knew it was an orgasm.
Howard said Ryan is next. He asked about something that turned out to be foreskins. Ryan got that one right.
Howard asked Mike what he had. Mike went with penis Potpourri and asked what has the largest penis in the world. It was measured in feet. Mike guessed a shark. Howard said wrong. Dan guessed it was a blue whale. He was right.
Howard said that Dan is next. He went with Penis Nicknames. Howard said this is slang for when the prosthetic congestion occurs. He got it wrong. Ryan got it wrong. Robin knew it was blue balls.
Howard said that he has to wrap up the game. Dan won it. He asked what he's going to do with the 500 bucks. Dan said he's going to donate 20 percent of it to charity. Howard wrapped up with the guys and got in some plugs for their sponsor Untuckit.
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Howard said he has a new phony phone call to a Swap Shop show. Howard played that and Sal and Richard called a Swap Shop show as Fred and Ethel Richard starts dialing over him. Then Sal gets confused about what he's selling and Ethel talks over him. The host hangs up and then Sal calls back. Then Ethel is dialing over him again. They get all confused and the host hangs up again. They called back again. Then they were getting all confused again and dialing and talking over each other.
Robin said that might have moved into her new favorites. Howard said Richard doesn't even try to sound like a woman. He said he has a deeper voice than Sal. Robin said they were on every line.
Howard said Richard interviewed his dad so he will play some of that. Howard said Richard is having a baby and that should be against the law. Robin said that she just discovered that you don't need to have a brain to have a baby. Robin said you can still create a child without a brain.
Howard said they were talking about Cocktober the other day and Richard pitched the idea for him and Sal to stick their dicks in a pumpkin and whoever cums first will win. Howard said he doesn't get that they can't legally ejaculate at work. He said maybe they can go off site and do it. Robin said if they can't do it there then why bother? Robin said other than Benjy getting a finger in his ass. Howard said they were going to send them to a pumpkin patch to do it. Howard said there are almost no rules there other than not ejaculating in the studio. Robin said there is one other rule. She said they're locked in there because Richard streaked. Robin said no more outside the studio. Howard said they were in the lobby when they did that.
Howard said Richard called his dad for parenting tips. Howard said he likes these. Howard said Richard asked his dad if he took paternity leave. Richard's dad said there wasn't anything like that back then. He said he may have taken a day off and probably didn't get paid. Howard said Richard talks like his dad when he's on the phone with him. Robin said she noticed that.
Howard said Richard asked his dad about the birds and the bees talk. He played a clip of Richard's dad saying he just gave him magazines. He said that he never had the talk with him.
Howard said Richard still needs that talk. Robin asked what the magazines were. Howard said they must have been Playboy and stuff. Howard said they were fuck books. Howard said no wonder he likes jerking off so much. Howard said his nickname in high school was ''Slow'' because he talks so slow.
Howard asked Richard what magazines he was talking about. Richard said he just remembers Field and Stream. He said he never found anything like that around the house. Howard said he's speaking at a regular pace now. Richard said he does it when he goes back home too. Howard said when he gets around his parents his New York accent comes back. He said it's just a habit. Richard said he talks really fast since he moved to New York.
Howard played another clip of Richard talking about potty training with his dad. His dad said he would train himself by going outside. He said he used to poop outside but he stopped that but kept peeing.
Howard did an impression of Richard's dad and spoke really slow like they do. Howard had him talking about the shitting outside and all of that. He had him talking about how he's going to be a rocket scientist when he grows up. He said he once wiped his ass with a porcupine. He taught him how to make toys out of his shit. Howard said he probably never wiped his ass. Richard said he asked if he ever shit in a sand box. He said he was told he never did. He said he was more like a dog than a cat.
Howard said Shuli went to Richard's dad's house and his dad showed him where he used to shit. Richard said he stopped doing that around 17. He said he was maybe 5 or 6 when he was doing the shitting outside. He said they had an outhouse and he was probably scared of that. He said they had a pig fall in the outhouse once and they had to use a dip net to pull it out.
Howard said Richard asked why he's circumcised and his dad isn't. Howard played a clip and Richard's dad said he had a lot of trouble with his penis. He said everything would get under it and he'd get infections in there. He said he'd get cheese in there and it was bad. He said when he was in Vietnam it was ''stinky, stinky, stinky.'' Howard said that might be the worst Vietnam story he's ever heard. He did an impression of Richard's dad talking about his tough times over there in Nam. He had him talking about wiping his cheese on the enemy over there.
Howard had Richard's dad talking about feeding Richard from his penis. Richard said maybe that's why he likes licking Sal's cock so much.
Howard had Sour Shoes on the phone again doing his George Takei impression talking about his cock cheese. Howard said that's something. He said he didn't know about dick cheese. George was joking about that and saying he loved that cock Jeopardy. He played along and said he plays an instrument too... the organ grinder. He sang a song for him and then Howard let him go.
Howard and Fred did more of their Richard's dad impression. They were coming up with all kinds of crazy stuff Richard could have done when he was younger.
Howard said Richard is sweet and he thanked his dad for all the tips. Howard said it was very sweet. Richard's dad said he knows he'll be a good daddy. They said goodbye. Howard said he loves that. He said he must tear up from that. Richard said he does. He said he tears up when he says goodbye.
Howard said that was very nice. He said they called a current event show with Richard's dad clips. Howard said it didn't last long. Howard played the clip and they called into this show with Richard's dad wishing them a happy Cocktober. He was wishing it to everyone on the show. The people on the show didn't seem to understand.
Howard said those guys bailed quick. Howard asked Richard about something and he forgot to turn on his microphone again. Howard said he doesn't like this setup. Howard said he got a clip of some kid dressed as a watermelon. He said he was wondering what that was. Robin said we should end the human race. Robin said we're not worth the air we breathe. Robin said it's disgusting. She said it's all about race and religion and it's ridiculous. Howard told her to stop it. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and played a George Takei announce for Cocktober. Howard thanked him for that and said he wants to announce something too. He said they have an exclusive video premiere from Royal Blood. Howard played their song ''Figure it Out'' and said that's just two guys doing that. Howard said they were here in 2015 and performed that song. Howard said they have their new video up on HowardStern.com. The album and the song are named ''How Did We Get So Dark.'' He played some of the new song too.
Howard took a call from Bobo and said he got a lot of mail about him. Bobo said he hopes it's good stuff. Howard asked what he thinks. Bobo laughed. Howard said he got a lot of mail about Michael Rapaport and Kid Rock too. Howard read some of the mail about Rapaport and Cocktober. Howard said people are sick of Cocktober and hope November isn't about cock.
Howard said he got mail about Will the Farter's tribute. Howard read a couple of those emails.
Howard said someone wrote in about Scott the Engineer's ''Depressame Street'' song. Howard played the song again. Howard said Robin did a news story about vaping rights being taken away in New York City. Howard said he can't even vape indoors now.
Howard read some email about the Led Zeppelin song ''Thank You'' and how it really is the greatest love song. Howard said he can't even read Bobo's email. He said he'll have a bad day if he does.
Howard read some mail about Miley Cyrus and someone said that he made the person a big fan of her's.
Howard said he was sad to read that Michelle Marsh died. Howard said she was 63. Howard said she was the biggest anchor woman in New York when they came there. Howard said she was a beautiful girl too. Howard said she was stunning. Robin said you only saw her from the neck up and Howard wasn't sure if she was good all the way down. Howard said he thought she might have a third leg or a baby arm.
Howard said Robert Guillaume also passed away. Howard said he played Benson. Robin said he was the first black man to win an Emmy. Howard said no one has won one since.
Howard said Joe Buck did a shout out to Gary during a game last night. He played a clip of Joe doing his impression of Richard Simmons calling out for Gary. Howard said that's pretty awesome. Howard said Joe texted Jon Hein during the game to let him know he did it.
Howard said he has Bobo on the phone. He forgot. Bobo said he understands that Jay Leno sent a congratulatory letter to Letterman at the Mark Train awards ceremony. Howard said you can tell he's reading this because he fucked up every word. Howard said he said ''congrautory.'' Howard asked if he knows he fucked that up. Bobo spelled it ''Congratuatory.'' Howard laughed.
Howard played a song parody about hanging up on Bobo. He hung up and took another call from a guy who said he's his biggest gay fan. The caller said he loves Robin too. He said he works in Vegas and he fucking loves Cocktober. He said it has lifted him out of a depression.
Howard asked the caller, Quentin, about the hotel and casino business after the shooting out there. Quentin said that they have been at 100 percent occupancy so they're doing fine. Howard asked if people were psyched out by that shooting. Quentin said they get a lot of European and Japanese clients out there and it's been consistent. Robin said nothing gets between people and their gambling. Howard said he's happy to hear that he liked Cocktober.
Howard took a call from a woman whose name was Nzinga. Howard said he hasn't seen a name spelled like that since Mr. Mxyzptlk. Howard asked about her how she spells it. She spelled it for him. Howard asked what she's calling for. Nzinga said her mother went to school with Robin and she was a candy striper with her. Robin said she knew it was Annette. Howard said he's going to kill himself. Robin said she met her father too. Howard said her phone connection is horrible. Nzinga said she's sorry about that. She was on speaker. Howard asked what he can do for her. Robin asked if Nzinga's dad is white. She said he's not but he has straight hair. Howard said she has a white dad and he named her after an African queen. Howard asked if she's calling from Africa. Nzinga said she's calling from Baltimore. She said she called in to say that there's a reunion at her high school and she asked if Robin would come. Howard said he really has to go. Robin told her to leave her number in the back and she'll get back to her.
Howard said he's not sur what she was saying. Robin said she was saying there's a reunion this weekend and she's not sure she'll be able to swing that this weekend. Howard said he was going crazy listening to that. Robin said she loved Annette so it's so great to hear from her children. Howard said that should have been a private conversation.
Howard said Shuli called Underdog and she got so upset that she hung up on Shuli. Howard played a clip of Underdog talking to Shuli about the Kimmel thing and saying she never heard from him. Shuli told her that he doesn't have good news. He said he hadn't heard back from his people. He said he doesn't think it's going to happen. Underdog asked why he refused. Underdog hung up after Shuli said he doesn't understand. Howard said Jimmy really fucked up. He said he's on her shit list now.
Howard had audio of Shuli calling Underdog back. She said she was depressed that she's not going to be on Jimmy Kimmel. Shuli said he's sorry about that. He asked if she has anything to say to him. Underdog said that he got her worked up for that. She asked when he might take interest in her again. Howard said she's really broken up about it. He said she doesn't get the joke.
Howard said that he thinks Shuli got her pumped up. Shuli said the host of the show was into the idea. He said she was on the show in the past. Shuli said they're sucking up to Kimmel. He said they can kiss his ass. Howard said Underdog said fuck Jimmy, I'm going on Fallon. Howard said she really took it hard.
Shuli said that call took place 2 days after Howard was on Kimmel. He said that he didn't have the heart to tell her it was over. Howard said she acts surprised when he calls. He said she can't have a lot of people calling her. Howard said 25 years ago this year Underdog was on the channel 9 show.
Howard said he has a Tan Mom update too. He said in this clip she tells Shuli about her haunted house party. Howard played that and Tan Mom was talking about the stuff she'll be doing at the party and how she has machines everywhere in the house. She said there are monsters and surprises. She said the whole house will be a walk through. Howard wondered what she's going to have in there. Shuli did his Tan Mom impression and told Howard about the machines she'll have in there.
Howard said Tan Mom starts off in reality but then she goes off on things that don't make sense. Howard said it's crazy. Shuli said it's like she's in a race where she runs straight and then just veers off to the right. He said she's all over the place.
Howard replayed the clip of Tan Mom talking about what's in the house. They talked about how it sounds like her brain is running low on battery. Howard said she just runs out of energy.
Howard said Tan Mom asked Shuli about Sal and his wife and if they're still married. She said she wishes them the best. She said Sal looks really good. She said he's doing something good. Howard said she's coherent with Sal. Shuli was doing his impression of her talking about Sal. Howard said she loves Sal but then she gets upset talking about him. Howard played a clip of her talking about how she would rather be with Howard over Sal. She said she was up there and Sal bolted and didn't even talk to her. Shuli asked if he's dodging her. Tan Mom said he totally is.
Howard said she gets angry about Sal bolting on her. Howard said he's all wrapped up in his wife and kids so she's mad at him.
Howard said Sal is into her and that's even crazier to him than she is. Howard said she thought that she had something with Sal. Robin said they're a perfect match. Howard said Sal wants to fuck her but he's married. Howard said that would be something they'd have to tape. Robin said it would be their first reality show.
Howard said they could be the king and queen of tanning at the haunted house. Shuli said you hear the power of that tanning bed when you see her there at the tanning salon.
Howard played a clip of Shuli asking Tan Mom if she had anything to say to Sal. She said she thinks he looks cute sometimes but don't get carried away with yourself. She was talking about how good he looks but who cares. Howard said she has a lot of thoughts about him. Shuli did his impression of her again and had Howard cracking up.
Howard said they should do a Fatal Attraction movie with the two of them. Howard said he would direct that movie. He said she'd be a tanned monster on set.
Howard said Tan Mom left a voicemail for Shuli about not being invited to Kimmel. Howard said Mariann is in charge of that, not him. Shuli said you can explain it to her but she thinks it's his or Kimmel's fault. Shuli said that she doesn't even see herself on the same level as the rest of the Wack Pack. Howard said she gets thrown out of anything she goes to. He said two years ago she left a taping because she was sick of waiting. Howard said she's too wacky for the Wack Pack. He said she might be the wackiest of all. Howard said she was at the Birthday Bash and she held up the show yelling at Jimmy Kimmel as the host.
Howard had a clip of Tan Mom complaining that she wasn't invited to Kimmel. Howard played that and Tan Mom was talking about flying out somewhere and they had to replay it to hear what she said. Howard said this is the best. Tan Mom said she had to get to ''Tara Bara'' airport or something like that. She said she's been dating a guy and it's all good. She said they didn't include her but she loves them forever even though she wasn't invited.
Howard and Shuli did their Tan Mom impressions. She was saying that she loves them but hates them. Shuli said she's never on time for anything either. Howard said she doesn't even know what she's talking about. Robin said she thinks she was saying she was going to Teterboro airport. Howard said that's a private airport. Robin said she's not sure any of this is true. Howard said she's still married. Shuli said that the husband came back and he's been in the house for 4 months. He said she's pissed about that. Howard said that was a great update. He said he seems to have found his niche with the Wack Pack. Shuli said they are his muse. He said he enjoys it.
Howard said he has to take another break and then do the news. Howard played a clip of Tan Mom yelling at her husband to drive her to the tanning salon. that's where she calls him ''Driver.'' Howard said that would be demeaning to him if Beth called him ''driver.'' Howard went to break after that.
Robin said she heard Gary clearing his throat in the hall this morning. She said he wanted to come in to ask her something and he cleared his throat in the hall. Howard said he does that all the time for him too. He said he hears it all the time. Robin said he might as well do it in there. Robin said he may have opened the door a bit when he did it.
Howard asked what's grosser, Gary eating shrimp or clearing his throat. Robin said clearing his throat. Howard agreed. Howard said the shrimp were named that because of Gary. He said they look so small next to Gary's teeth.
Robin said there's a guy who has Gary teeth and he tries to do anything to cover them up. Howard said Freddie Mercury had them too. He said even Tom Petty had them. He said Gary Busey has those teeth too. Howard started the Gary phlegm song over again. He said he loves it. Howard said Gary told him the guys spent a lot of time putting that song together and he asked him to play it. Howard said now he'll play it all the way through.
Howard said Gary brought a big plastic bag of shrimp to work today. He said that's weird. Robin said he's turned into that dad with the weird things he does. Robin said even the smoked salmon he keeps in the refrigerator is weird. Gary asked if they're going to talk about eating weird shit. Gary said she won't eat dairy in her soup. He said she used to have someone make her weird shit outside her studio. Robin said she was on a fast. Howard said don't argue because she's losing.
Howard said how about that peanut butter spoon he rarely washes. Howard said he needs a Gary phlegm song while she's arguing. Howard played another song with Gary's phlegm over it.
Howard said Robin could have brought up Gary taking all of the lox he stole when Mindy Kaling sent it over. Gary said it was just 6 ounces. Howard said it wasn't his to put in his refrigerator. Gary said you can't share it.
Howard asked about the shrimp he brought in. Gary said he bought a bunch and he was going to throw it out so he brought it into work to eat. He said it's shrimp cocktail. Howard said his mouth is like shrimp Auschwitz. He said those poor shrimp.
Howard said Gary has a meeting before the show and he had a whole discussion about eating crustaceans. Gary said he loves all of that stuff. Howard said there's something that looks like shrimp but it's not. Robin said it's Langastino. Howard said it's disgusting. He said it's all soft an mealy. He said it smells bad. Robin said Gary doesn't like that. Gary said he doesn't even know what it is. Howard said it's served in a shell and it has antenna and all of that. He said it looks cool but then you bite into it and it's mealy. He said it's like if someone rotted a shrimp. He said he likes when Gary eats imitation crab. He loves it.
Howard said they should do the rest of the show talking about Gary's food. Howard did an impression of Gary talking about what he eats. Howard said Gary loves shrimp and chocolate. Howard did an impression of Gary talking about liking chocolate. Howard said he always sees Will, Jason and JD talking to Gary. He said he's not sure what they talk about. Howard asked if Sal gets in there for the meeting. Gary said they don't really need him for it and he doesn't get in on time. Howard said the guy seem to think it devolves into a Gary meeting. Robin said that he appears to live for those meetings.
Jason said a lot of them just glaze over hearing Gary's stories because he's trying them out on them before he tries them out on Howard.
Jason said he heard Gary will eat leftover egg bagels. He said if someone eats half a bagel he'll eat the rest. Gary said if there's a half left he'll eat it.
Ronnie came in and said that if Kid Rock eats a piece of a muffin Gary will go in and eat the rest of the muffin. Howard said Gary is like a seagull. He said he's like a garbage disposal. Robin said he's like Wendy dumpster diving.
Howard asked if it was Kid Rock. Ronnie said it was one of Kid Rock's people. He said it wasn't cut. Ronnie said he broke off a piece and Gary will go in and break off another piece. He said he gets a kick out of it. He said he does the same thing with the egg bagel. He said he'll go back like 20 times cutting pieces off.
Howard asked if he's eating something that was already eaten. Ronnie said he'll go back and forth taking pieces of it. He said he'll go like 20 times. Robin said he's pretending that he's just eating a little bit of it.
Ronnie said the funniest thing is the muffins. He said everyone sees it but no one says anything. He said you don't know if they took a bite out of it.
Howard asked Gary what's going on. He asked if he's not being fed enough. Gary said maybe not enough. He said they're just going to throw the muffins out so he goes in and eats them. He said he does it after everyone has left. Howard said if Denis Leary comes back looking for his muffin it's going to be gone. Gary said if you leave it too long it'll be gone.
Ronnie said sometimes Gary will go right in after they leave and grab something. Robin said he goes to look. Ronnie said he likes the blueberry muffin. Howard said he's like a dog looking for scraps. Howard said Gary is heavy and he runs. He said you can see why. He has like 50 breakfasts. Howard said he heard he steals candy from other people's desks. Gary said he'll ask for it but he never steals it.
Ronnie said some of the guys used to have an office in the back and Gary would disappear into that office and come back with a hand full of chocolate. Robin said it's like a raid. Howard joked about him giving them a hand job for chocolate. Howard said they should set a trap for him to see if he'll try to steal. Howard said he's like a raccoon rummaging through the trash. Howard said he has to seal his cans up to keep the raccoons out. He said that's what Gary is like.
Howard said he has Gary on the phone. He picked up on Sour Shoes who was doing his impression of Gary eating and talking about eating candy in the lobby.
JD came in and Howard asked what he's wearing. JD had some pants on that were filthy according to Howard. JD said he's not there for that. Howard said he won't fit into his clothes for his wedding. JD said alright. He sounded like he wanted out. He ran out. Robin said it looks like the shirt was dirty or it got into the wash with something of another color. JD said she's correct. He said that it got in with some red stuff. He said he did that accidentally.
Howard asked who else they can pick on. He thanked Ronnie and let him go. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about men waking up with your penis looking shorter. Howard said his never got long to look shorter. Howard said he has never really had length. He said Sal and Richard are 3 times the size he is. Robin said there's a real medical condition called buried penis that makes a penis look smaller. Robin said there's also hidden penis. Robin said that the head can be flush with the skin but there is no shaft outside of the body. Howard said it might be a clitoris. Howard asked why we can't all have the same size penis and breasts. Howard said his childhood would have been so much easier.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up the transgender Playmate and what Ronnie would do if he had someone like that come up to him. He said he had that in Japan years ago. He said he didn't know it wasn't a girl and they ended up hanging out and he went to his hotel room with her. He said they were in bed naked and everything was cool. He said he put his hand down there and something wasn't quite right. He said he didn't know what was wrong but then it hit him. He said he figured there used to be a dick there. He said it wasn't very wet down there. Howard asked if he had a cock. The caller said she was a post-op transsexual. He said the vagina didn't feel right. He said he just laid there kind of awkwardly. He asked her to leave but she didn't want to because it was late. He said he figured he'd give it a try. He said she was really attractive. Howard asked how it was. The caller said he got her in the doggy position and it wasn't very wet. He said it felt like skin. He said he's not sure if he used lube. He said he did his best and it wasn't really enjoyable. He said he may have jerked off to get it over with. Howard asked if she ever admitted she was a man. The caller said he doesn't think she did. Howard asked if she came on him. Howard said this dude is very open minded. He said maybe she just had a weird vagina. The caller said no way. He said that she may have had ID with her gender on it but he didn't see it. Howard thanked the guy for his call.
Robin read a story about a woman accusing R. Kelly of abusing and starving her. Robin said there have been a few stories like this over the years. Robin said that this is a radio DJ who had a 2 year relationship with R. Kelly. Robin said other people have accused him of holding women against their will. Robin read some of the Rolling Stone article about this woman. Howard said he has some audio of a woman on The Real talking about her relationship with R. Kelly. In that clip the woman talked about a woman known as The Trainer who taught her how to please Kelly. Howard said now he knows what the R. stands for... Really Creepy.
Howard took a call from R. Kelly's Trainer on the phone. It was one of the guys in the back doing the Ronnie's Mom impression. Howard spent a little time talking to her.
Robin read more about the R. Kelly story and how this woman escaped from R. Kelly. Robin said he denies all of it. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a woman accusing Harvey Weinstein of forcing her to have sex while she was on her period and pulling her tampon out. Robin had some audio of the woman talking about all of that. Robin said she was an aspiring actress. Robin said that Harvey wanted to get Project Runway on TV and he was looking to get models and now models are saying they had creepy encounters with him.
Robin read a story about George H.W. Bush being accused of sexually assaulting a woman while he was in his wheel chair. Robin said the woman claims that she was assaulted from behind with his wife at his side. She says he told her a dirty joke too. Howard said that's crazy. Howard asked if Stephen Hawking is next. Howard asked what the hell is going on. Robin said a security guard told her she shouldn't have stood next to him for the photo. Robin said it happened a second time when she stood for another photo.
Robin read a story about Marilyn Manson replacing his bassist with someone new after Twiggy was accused of rape. Robin had more details about the split.
Robin read a story about Judd Apatow warning women to run from Woody Allen projects. Robin said there have been questions about him over the years. Robin said now Judd is wondering if they should avoid him. Howard took a call from Wood Yi who was calling in as the OG pervert. He said he was sad to see the media going after his good friend Harvey Weinstein. He said all he wanted to do was have women watch him as he jerked off into a plant. He said he's so bad assed that he jerked off into a baked potato and watched as Soon Yi ate it. Wood Yi also said that Harvey is guilty... of being a bad ass. Howard let Wood Yi clips go a short time later. Howard said it's really crazy what's going on. He said guys are beating up on the girls. Robin said she used to be on that bandwagon that Oprah was causing this rift between men and women. Robin said now it turns out Oprah was right.
Robin read a story about Jeffrey Dean Morgan's wife coming out and saying that Ben Affleck groping her at TRL years ago. Howard asked if Robin watched the season finale of The Walking Dead. Robin said of course. Howard said they say the ratings are down but 11 million people watched. Robin said some people thought last season was slow moving. Robin said that she just watches the show. Howard said he does too. Robin said maybe it'll take people a while to know it's back on the air. Howard said he hasn't seen any transgender zombies on the show. He said he'd like to see some zombie sex and dragons... and a Khaleesi. He said they need to combine all of that.
Robin read about Linn Manuel Miranda raising money for Puerto Rico and he was on the Tonight Show last night. He has a list of the towns that need help in a song he did.
Robin read a story about MSNBC's Morning Joe having an interview with Senator Jeff Flake where he talks about politics changing a lot these days. Robin said he's not pleased with the undignified behavior of the President. Robin said Trump is now hitting back at him and Bob Corker. Robin said he says they dropped out because they had zero chance of being elected.
Robin read a story about a dossier that was trying to show a connection between Russia and Trump and they say it may have been funded by the DNC and Hillary Clinton. Robin said the President went on and blasted the dossier as being fake news.
Robin read a story about a uranium deal that may have gone on during the Obama administration era. Robin had some audio clips and some more details on that.
Robin read a story about Bowe Bergdahl who got captured by the enemy and caused a bunch of problems for us. Robin said he's going through sentencing in his AWOL case.
Robin read a story about Neo-Nazis and white nationalists holding a white lives matter rally. Robin said this is why she was talking about calling it quits earlier in the show. Robin said there's a study that was done that found about half of Americans are feeling like they're being discriminated against.
Robin read a story about the Kardhashians and how they're not going anywhere. Howard said he thinks Ronnie likes them. Robin said they have signed a new contract for $150 million. Howard said that's unbelievable. Robin asked where E! got that kind of money. Robin said they're doing 5 more years on the network.
Robin read a story about a guy suing the town of Mahwah, New Jersey for having laws that are discriminating against blacks and Jews.
Robin read a story about Kid Rock not running for senate. Robin said he made the announcement yesterday but they don't say where. Howard said he saw it did say it was on the show. Robin said this one doesn't say.
Robin read a story about Kelly Clarkson talking about her depression and thoughts of suicide. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:05am.
Today's show was over around 11:00am.
Today's show was over around 11:10am.