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Howard and the guys were back from vacation today. Howard started the show talking about how excited they are this morning because it's Cocktober and George Takei is there. George said they have rearranged the room in there. Howard said he's over by Fred today. He said that's his own little corner of the world. George said he has Fred there with him now. George wished him a good Cocktober.
Howard asked George if he has any special Cocktober announces. George said he has some recorded. Howard said he will have them later he guesses. Howard said they're going to have a special Cocktober event with George. He said last time he was in they had Jason Ellis. George said that was a glorious birthday party. Howard said George is 80 and he sees him as a spry man. George said he did have a hip replacement 2 months ago. He said he's Titanium Man. Howard asked if it feels better. George said it does. He said he was doing a musical called Pacific Overtures there in the city and he had a long cross from one end of the stage to the other. He said he had to walk slow and he had a pain in the groin and small of his back. He said it was torture. George said he went to a doctor who gave him steroids and he had to go back a few times for a new supply.
Howard asked if he was able to wrestle Brad. George said it was so bad he wasn't able to do that. He said he was able to do him though. George said he had the surgery done in Los Angeles. Howard said it's great that they can fix the hip like that. Howard asked how long it took to walk again. George said it was 6 weeks. He said that you're in a wheelchair for about a week and then you do therapy. He said he was working with a walker and then with a cane. He said the doctor told him he made a remarkable recovery. He said he was fit before that so that helped.
Howard asked if he can walk fine now. George said he can and he's pain free and walks much better now. Howard said he's going to be doing some great Cocktober stuff. He said he's going to pick out the greatest celebrity cock of all time. Howard played a Cocktober song parody. They had another promo to play after that too.
Howard said they have more cock than George could ever dream about. Robin said he has missed a few Cocktober events. Howard told him about a couple and said he'll get to see a couple of cocks today. Howard said just wait until he sees these guys. Howard said they had some guys in there who sang for them. George said he's sorry he missed that. Howard said they'll have more for him today. He played another Cocktober event song.
Howard said they'll find out what else George is up to. He said he's sure he's doing something with internment camps. George asked if he knows a guy named Keith Heisler. Howard didn't know the name. George said he did an episode of ''Fresh off the Boat'' and he had something to do with it. Howard asked if the character had something to do with an internment camp. George said they don't know about his character. Howard said here were Japanese American internment camps. George said not in the show. George said the episode was written by this Keith guy and some of the events in the episode were inspired by him on the show.
Howard said that he had a dinner party over the summer and he pronounced guacamole like George told him to and people looked at him like he was insane. George said that he's saying it the way Hispanic people say it. Howard said he's never heard it that way. George said only Gringos say it the way Howard says it. Howard said he also corrected him on Tsunami.
Howard asked if he's producing a film about internment camps. George said he is. Howard said this is another projects about the internment camps. Howard said he tries to forget about what his childhood was like. He said George is on a mad tear with this internment camp story stuff. George said people don't know about it to this day. He said because of that horrible things happen and we repeat it. He said it's a timely issue. Robin asked when they have repeated it. George said they have a crazy man in the White House so that's why he's bringing it up.
Howard said they have a man in the White House who talked about grabbing pussy. Howard asked if George ever grabbed anyone by the cock against their will. George stayed silent. Howard asked if he ever harassed anyone. George laughed. He said some people are kind of skittish or afraid and you try to persuade. Howard asked if they have to call the police. George said he never grabbed anyone. He said it's not about sex, it's about power. Robin asked if he did it at work. George said it was in his home. He said someone might come to his home and he might give them more than a gentle squeeze. He said it didn't involve power over the other.
Howard asked if he ever did it to anyone on the set of Star Trek. George said that he did do some stuff with someone consensually.
Howard asked if Harvey ever got anyone to be famous with his power. He said that his wife was a model and she was told that if she fucked this guy she'd be on the cover of a big magazine. Howard said that some people go on to be big after being on the cover of this one magazine. Howard said his wife didn't do it but she looks at the cover wondering if they had to do something with this guy. Howard said he has daughters and he thinks about this going on. Howard said he has talked to his kids about stuff like this but maybe not specific stuff.
Howard said they had Harvey in there and he asked him about doing the mogul thing asking chicks to blow him for jobs. Howard said there were rumors about it but there was no evidence of it. Howard said that's why he said it. Howard said Harvey flat out denied it. Howard said they have it on tape. Howard played a clip of Harvey denying it and claiming that it doesn't work that way in Hollywood.
Howard said he knew he was lying. Robin said very few people will just admit that. Howard said he knew a girl who told him years ago that she had met with Harvey and he had come on to her and she laughed. Howard said she was laughing about it and said she got up and left. Howard said she made it seem like it was no big deal. George said it goes on with men and women. Howard said there's a lot of pedophilia going on too. Howard said oddly enough no one has come on to him.
Howard said nothing would be more pathetic than getting someone to sleep with him for a job. Howard said he just jerks off. Howard said he did it last night. He said if Harvey had just done that he'd be fine.
Howard said he's not sure how Harvey had time for this. He said it must be easy to make movies. Howard said his wife has never seen him naked. Howard said he has half a dick and a belly and cellulite. Howard said he hides it from his wife. George said this is too much detail. Howard said he has spent a lot of time keeping his wife from seeing that. He said Harvey allegedly asked women to watch him shower. He said that's not the way to get them to like you. He said they're supposed to be naked, not him.
Howard said if he could have an honest conversation with Harvey right now that's what he'd ask about. He said you don't want the women to look at you. He said he'd think you'd want to look at the women.
Howard said that this is weird. Howard said he wonders if it's some fetish he has. He said maybe his mom used to bathe him or something. Howard said he's not sure how you get naked in front of a woman and have them watch you shower. He said women don't get turned on by that. George said that he's repellant. Howard said his wife is so gorgeous. He said that his wife designed his wife's wedding dress. Howard said she was the nicest and most attractive woman. Robin said she had to know who she was married to. Robin said he wasn't nice anywhere. Robin said she married a pig and she had to know it. Howard said she's all fired up this morning. Robin said she helped him with his disguise.
Howard said the question is if she was doing him at all or was it a marriage of convenience. Howard said he's not sure what was going on there. Robin said they had kids so someone had to do something.
Howard said he learned in therapy that wanting everything isn't good. Howard said he counts his lucky stars that Beth is into him. He said he's so fortunate. Robin said she thinks there was a lot of pain there with him and everything was about his stature and power. She said in the long run it wasn't about him. George said there are powerful people who hire people to abuse.
Howard said Harvey is a dream crusher. Howard said after Rose McGowan came out someone else came out and said that she met with Harvey and he harassed the shit out of her. Howard said she gave up and tossed away her whole dream after that. Howard said that's why he's a dream crusher. Robin said he wrecked the ones who went along with it too.
Howard said they were wondering if they could hear a tape of Caitlyn taking on Harvey and Harvey runs out of the room. Howard played a bit they created with fake Caitlyn and fake Harvey.
Howard said he heard Harvey is at some rehab in Arizona. Howard said he thinks he's going to go for a couple of weeks and ask for a second chance. Howard said he wants to be treated like Roman Polanski. Robin said another woman has come out and said it happened to her with Roman too. Howard said Harvey was kicked out of the academy. George said he's in it and he voted against him. Howard said Roman Polanski is still in it. George said he's fighting it legally. Howard said Harvey is only the second guy to be voted out. Howard said the other guy was voted out because he traded his screeners. He said they don't really kick a lot of people out.
Gary said that his story is great. He said that this guy who was kicked out was going to be in The Godfather but he lost his job to the guy who played Sonny. He said he ended up trading VHS screeners and he got kicked out for that.
Howard said that everyone eventually gets off on this stuff. He said Cosby has gotten off. He said that Roman Polanski is doing fine. Howard said Harvey probably thinks that he's going to go to rehab and come back. Howard said he has been going to therapy himself for 18 years and he has to tell you that it takes a tremendous effort and self awareness to change. He said it's really tough to hang in there with it. He said it's really expensive. He said it opens your eyes to the way of doing things.
Robin said she thinks that Harvey is lost. She said it might be too late for him. Howard said he should go off to the peace corps and help people.
Howard took a call from fake Harvey who was asking Robin about how her slot is and things like that. Howard talked to fake Harvey audio clips for a short time. They had Harvey saying some of the things he said in the press.
Howard asked if George has anything to say to Harvey. George asked if there's a role in his next picture. Fake Harvey said yes. Howard said he might have to blow him. Harvey said he is starring in the Bill O'Reilly story so that's why he did what he did. Howard said George will be over very soon. Howard let fake Harvey go after that.
Robin wondered if the company is going to survive after all of this. Howard said he's not sure. Robin said there are people who are asking for their movies back after this. Robin said they want to go somewhere else. Robin said the company is looking to change its name. Howard said they say that the brother might have turned him in. Robin said he's denying that. George said his brother voted against him to get him out of the academy.
Robin said that Harvey and his brother haven't spoken in years. Robin said that they had a terrible relationship. Robin said that now his brother thinks that Harvey is dragging him down with him. Robin said the brother said Harvey doesn't seem to be remorseful either.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Robin if the women in this case have to have some kind of protection when they come out. He asked if they're guilty for waiting 10-15 years. Howard said they get scared and they're alone and think they can get ruined. Howard said it's not their fault at all. Robin said when you're in that position you can lose your job and the guy who did it keeps his job.
Howard said he's glad this came out and they're doing something. Robin said she's glad that they have a voice.
Howard said if he wanted to get rid of a woman he'd have her watch him shower. Howard said look forward to him being on the Sandra Bernhard show. Howard said Jimmy Kimmel is in town doing shows from Brooklyn and he's not looking forward to doing that. Howard said he can't say no to Jimmy. He said Jimmy says he can say no but he has to do it. Howard said he's doing it on Wednesday. Howard said he just got a hair cut for the show. He said Ralph will be picking his outfit. He said Wednesday is going to be a long day. He said Beth is going with him too. He said if he sucks it's just too much.
Robin said Jimmy hid her in a room there and only Flavor Flav found her. She said that no one else knew she was there. Howard said he loves Flavor Flav but when it's 10-15 minutes from doing the show you don't want to be in a conversation with anyone. He said that Flavor is fine but he needs time to collect his thoughts. Robin said Howard was the only one she didn't see. She said she saw Mariann from Brooklyn but not Howard. Gary said Mariann has her own section with the Wack Pack there at the show. Howard said that's fine.
Howard said he has people outside his door but someone might ask to come in to say hi. He said he can't say no to people like that. Howard said he needs Steve Harvey to write him a memo.
George told him to tell his security people that they're his shield. Howard said they don't know how to do it. Howard said his security is Ronnie. He said he doesn't know what to do. Howard said Ronnie doesn't know how to get rid of anyone. He said he just opens the door and asks if it's okay. He said that he should tell them that he's getting ready and people can't come in.
George said that Ronnie is an intelligent guy and he should be able to figure it out. Howard asked where Ronnie is. Ronnie came in and told Howard that he turned Flavor away last time. He said he went away and came back later. Howard said he doesn't want to see anyone there this time. He said he's going to be in his room getting his make up done. Howard said there's too much socializing going on at Jimmy's show. Howard said he doesn't like it. He said no visitors. Howard said Ronnie is going to tell people that he's in there meditating. Robin said she's not going this time. She said she was treated terribly last time. Robin said they know how to keep her out of Howard's room.
Howard said he doesn't want to say hello to anyone. He said if Oprah stops by what odes he do. Ronnie said he's going to tell her that he's meditating. Howard asked what he says if President Trump, Clinton and Obama show up, what does he say. Ronnie said he's going got tell them no fucking way. Howard said he can't say that. Howard asked if Beth can get in. Ronnie said no. Howard said she gets in. He said he doesn't get it. Howard said he doesn't understand.
Howard asked if Jesus shows up. Ronnie said he'll check. Howard said no that's not it. He said he's got to turn him away. Howard asked Ronnie who can get in to see him. Ronnie wasn't letting anyone in to see him. He said if Zombie Jerry Lewis shows up then what. Howard said he doesn't want to see him. Ronnie would have let him in. Howard said he's behind schedule.
Howard and Fred did the guest thing and Fred was playing Ronnie telling him who he'd turn away. Howard asked about a bunch of people and he was turning away his mom and people like that. Howard said it is Cocktober so they're going to have a lot of cock fun after the break. Howard played a promo for Cocktober and went to break.
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Howard said they're going to have George judge some celebrity cocks. Howard said they have a bracket of cocks to judge. Howard said their friends at MrMan.com have helped them out with this. Howard said he's looking for the microphones for these guys. Howard said the people at MrMan.com have gone through a lot of penis images and picked out a bunch for this. Howard said they are experts over there at MrMan.com
Howard said they have porn stars Austin Wolf and Johnny V. Howard said they're naked for George. George gave them an ''Oh My!'' Howard said these guys are porn stars. Howard said Austin is known for his muscles. Austin said he hopes so. Howard said he also has a girth 8 inch cock. George said he has an interesting tattoo over his naval. Howard said he has never seen a cock so big. He said he's envious. Austin said he may have fluffed himself up a big. He said George does it for him. Howard said he's some specimen. George said he's gorgeous. Howard asked if that's the biggest cock he's seen. George said he's seen fatter ones. He said his is lean.
Howard played a clip of Austin banging a guy in a movie called Beef Squad. George was upset he didn't see the video. Howard said there is no video. Howard asked what the knocking noise was in that. Austin said the other guy was about a foot shorter than him and the bench was slamming against the lockers.
Howard said Johnny V is also there. Howard asked how long he's been in porn. Johnny said it's been about 5 years. Howard spent a short time talking to him about being a porn star. Howard played a clip of Johnny in a movie called ''The Trainer'' where he plays a trainer. Austin said he's in the scene too. Howard asked about taking it in the ass and things like that. Howard played the clip of Johnny moaning and taking it in the ass. Johnny said he's a loud one.
Howard asked if George is that vocal with Brad. George said there was a time when they were but now it's more subtle. He said back then there was more passion. He said now they're comfortable. Howard said the guys are from FalconStudios.com. He gave them a plug for that and said you can get half off with promo code ''Cocktober.''
Howard said it's time to celebrate Cocktober. He played an intro clip for the segment. Howard said they have a mission now and George has to pay attention. Howard said he's busy looking at the cock in the room. George asked what he wants him to do. Howard said he has to judge the cocks on their performance. Howard said they have Jason Seagal and Orlando Bloom. Howard said he has to choose between the two. George said that he's sure that Orlando is more substantial but he's not in full in that photo. He said he's picking Orlando over Jason. Howard had the guys move Orlando in the brackets.
Howard said next up they have Michael Fassbender and Robert De Niro. Howard said that Fassbender showed it in Shame and De Niro showed it in 1900. Howard asked who he's picking. George went with Fassbender.
Howard said next up they have Daniel Craig and Justin Bieber. Howard said Craig showed his in Love is the Devil and Justin showed his in public. George said that he's going to pick Daniel Craig.
Howard said they have Eric Andre and Shia LaBeouf. He said that Shia showed his in Nymphomaniac and Eric showed his on his own TV show. George picked Eric Andre in this round.
Howard said it's time for a break from that. Howard asked George what he thinks of Johnny V's cock. George said he is his type. He said he has a great physique and a great cock. Howard asked if he's Harvey Weinsteining now. George laughed.
Howard asked if Johnny has had the casting couch thing happen. Johnny said maybe. Howard asked if Austin has. Austin said no to that.
Howard got back to the brackets and said they have Orlando vs. Daniel Craig. George said he's going to go with Daniel Craig.
Howard said they have Eric Andre and Michael Fassbender. George picked Fassbender again. Howard said now they're going to find out who is the best penis in Hollywood. Howard said you can cut the tension with a cock right now. George asked why they have a black belt on. Howard told him to stay focused. Howard told him to concentrate on the Hollywood cock. George said that he's going to go with Michael Fassbender. Howard thanked him for that.
Howard said that he has to thank Falcon Studios for sending the guys over for them. George was saying it turns him on that Johnny was kind of shy. Howard asked if Austin took anything for his cock today. Austin said he did last night. He said it's still kind of working today.
Howard thanked the boys and gave them another plug before letting them go. George also copped a feel before they wrapped up. Howard went to break after playing a song parody.
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George said Howard gave him two beautiful men earlier. Howard asked George who he was more attracted to and he said they both had good parts. George said he would have had a three way with them. George said he wants them all. Howard asked if they're the most beautiful men he's ever seen. George said he thinks so. He said that Jason Ellis was very nice but not as toned as them. Howard said he was the most turned on by those two. George said he was. He said they're beautiful. He said you can see them carved in marble and put on a pedestal. He said he's glad that he got to cop a few more feels than he was supposed to. Howard said they didn't seem to mind him touching them either. George said their body hair was bristly and there was a masculine texture to it. Howard said only the best for George. George said that he has gifted him and enriched his life incredibly.
Howard asked if he's going to go home to brad and maybe masturbate to them. George said that he won't say on radio. Howard said he gestured ''yes'' though. Robin asked if he would be okay with an open relationship. George said he's on radio so he won't say. Howard said it sounds like he'd be open to it. George said that Brad wants fidelity.
Howard said in a couple of minutes they have Billy Corgan coming in but he's now William Patrick Corgan. Howard said he didn't like being Billy Jr. so he wants to be William Patrick Corgan. George said good for him. Robin said that you can consign your children to something you don't want if you name them after you. George said that just look at Donald Trump Jr. Robin said she read that Donald didn't want to name him that because he might be a loser. George said he is.
Howard said before William Patrick comes in he has to play something. He said he had played audio of Nick Cannon rapping a while back. Howard played some of his rap and said he got very alarmed when he heard it. Howard said he was on the air talking about it and did his own bitches rap. Howard played clips of both his and Nick's rap. He said they took that and called a radio show. Howard played the clip of the guys in the back calling a radio show and playing the rap Howard did. The host of the show said it wasn't too bad but they had Howard arguing with them. After that they played the rap song in full.
Howard said that was his radio debut. Robin asked why he was doing his own rap in that bit. Howard said it's weird.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if George is really in the studio. George said he is. The caller said this is the gayest shit he's ever heard. Howard thanked him for that.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked George if he's a bit of a fucking creep. He said they're trying to lead him down a path where he's not creepy but he odes sound kind of creepy. George asked if he feels that way about vagina and breasts. The caller said he wouldn't be trying to touch it. George said it's the most natural thing. He said he is oriented that way and he feels the sexuality of a nice, pendulous cock or a nice round ass. He said he likes pectorals and nice nipples that are perked up. Howard said he never wants him to slow himself down. Robin said that last outburst shows that George is the gayest man in America. George said all gay men feel this way but they're inhibited and repress themselves. Howard said George is very open about his sexuality and he's very open about it.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said just wait for Harvey Weinstein's musical. Fred was already playing her off with loud music. Mariann was going on and on about something so Howard told him to play her off now. Howard said he did it too early.
Howard said he should break because William Patrick Corgan will be in soon. Howard said he hasn't seen him in a while. Howard said maybe he can squeeze in one more call.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Howard saw Ray Donovan last week. He said that Jay Thomas was on. Howard said he did see that and it was a surprise to him. He said he did look sick. Howard said he was pleased with the producers for making sure he kept working. Howard said Jay wanted to work. Howard said he looked half the size that he used to be. Howard said it was a little shocking and sad. The caller said maybe they can get Bubba the Love Sponge on. Howard said Bubba is in the middle of a case where he was accused of tampering with the ratings. Howard said Bubba filed a counter suit against the ratings service. Howard said Bubba was fighting back and now the suit has gone on for over 2 years. He said even the judge is getting impatient. Howard said someone brought up the costs of doing this and how Bubba isn't super rich. Howard said it must be his life savings that he's spending on it. Howard said Brent might know more about it. The caller said by March it should be wrapping up. The caller said he thinks that he might break even on the deal.
Brent came in and Howard asked what it costs to do this. Brent said he talked to him on Thursday and it's costing him a million in legal fees alone. He said that's what kills you. He said you need a really good attorney to go to federal court. Brent said they've gone to mediation twice and they were unable to settle. Howard said Brent represented Bubba in court. Brent said they did that twice and they almost went to prison. Brent said in the one suit the other side was trying to use radio terms to get by the judge and he had to translate. Howard said it's like the Three Stooges going to court. Howard said he really has to get to William Patrick Corgan. He went to break after doing a live commercial read.
Howard came back and said that William Patrick Corgan is there. He's no longer going by the name Billy. Howard said he doesn't blame him for changing his name. Howard said he'd do the same if he could. William laughed. Howard said he's going to call him William Patrick Corgan. He said it's better than Billy Corgan. Howard said they have been down this road with him before. He said that his dad's name was William. William said he was little Bill. He said that he changed his name to Billy in an act of defiance. Howard said he didn't want to be little Bill. William said he wouldn't name his son after him. Howard said you have to give kids their own identity. Howard said he's a well functioning human being. William said he looked at Robin when he heard that.
Howard asked if he is happy. William said he is. Howard asked how he got happy. William said he found love, religion and fatherhood. He said that he tried the Brady Bunch meets Disney and that wasn't really real. He said that he had friends who found happiness. He said that most of his past relationships were a form of addiction. Howard said he's always trying to figure out what love is because he didn't have that as a kid.
Howard asked if William lived with his grandmother. William said he did. Howard said his father got addicted to heroin and he had to bail him out. Howard said he's surprised he would bail him out. William said his father was too. He said he was sitting in a dorm with 300 other men and he had an attorney show up.
Robin asked why he bailed him out. William said he was trying to be the son he wanted to be and not what the situation was asking for. He said that was more important to him. He said he wants to be that kind of person.
Howard said he loves to hear about guys who won't bail out their fucked up parent. William said it was good for his father because he got sober and it was the longest term of sobriety. He said things got good for a while and then it went bad again. He said he's still around and he isn't close to him. He said he doesn't need to be anything for his father. He said that he has met his son a couple of times but it was difficult. He said that the parents and grandparents showed up for his son's birth but not his dad. He said that he had to show up. He said that's where it gets weird for him. He said he has forgiven him for a lot but not for this. He said he should have been there for his kid. William said his kid didn't do anything to him. He said he knows he loves the kids but he doesn't do what you think he should do.
Howard asked William what he named the kid. William said it's Augustus. Howard said that way there's no confusion in the house. Howard asked if he's married. William said he isn't but he was once and it got stupid when they split. He said she came after his songs and she wasn't in the room when he wrote them. He said that it's a weird concept. He said that the lawyers say it's part of your property. He said that he'd never do that if he was on the other side of the fence.
Howard asked if his wife wonders if he can really love. William said she has it figured out and tells him to just do what he wants to do. He said it's the most honest relationship he's had. He said he's not pretending to be something he's not. William said he doesn't have a single happy relationship he can point to in his life. He said that there was a lot of weird stuff in his life. He said TV as a kid was his natural thing. He said everyone on TV looked so happy. He said you can't judge that it's not real.
Howard asked William when he wrote the love songs he must have been guessing. William said he was. Howard said he was trying to figure out what emotion is. He said he had to close them down growing up the way he did. Howard said he has some of the most feeling songs ever. William said that's from years of suppression. He said he had to invert his creativity and make it all go inside. He said the butterfly feeling was inside. He said if it came out someone would smash that with a hammer over and over. He said he was treated so weird as a kid.
Howard said he has quoted his song lyrics ''The world is a vampire'' in therapy. He said that it's an endless loop of vampires. Howard said that is such a great lyric.
Howard asked William what he thinks when he sees Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington throwing in the towel. William said it hurts at a really deep level. He said he never met Chester but he did know Chris pretty well. He said Chester had a great set of pipes.
Howard said he knows that the rock and roll hall of fame isn't a big deal to him but he would have thought that they'd be in it with the amount of songs they've put out. William said he's not bothered by it. He said it feels like high school all over again. He said he knows he's not in the right hallway. William said it's weird to him. He said it's not a complaint but things happen that shouldn't happen that no one can explain. He said just look at the Weinstein thing. He asked how a guy like that can subvert authority and the law and get away with it over and over. He said if you're in the entertainment business you know that's the way the power structures work. Howard said he doesn't get any of that shit. He said it's mind blowing.
Howard asked William to get back to the hall of fame. Howard said he's going to mind people of some of his bigger songs. Howard played some of his older stuff like ''Cherub Rock'' and said that's some great stuff. Howard played ''Today'' and said that's a great song. He said there should be no question that he should be in the hall of fame. William said that Sabbath didn't get in for years and KISS didn't either. He said he would be totally cool with people going in ahead of him. He said he has a list of about 12 bands that he'd be fine with going in 20 years ahead of him.
Howard asked if he's getting along with the band now. William said that he is. He said he was thinking about it the other night. He said they gave him this faith that he didn't have with his family. He said they were following him when no one else did. He said without them in the beginning he wouldn't have had anything. Howard said Robert Plant is coming in tomorrow and he has to talk to him about the band. He said that William's band risked their future with him. Howard said he feels that way about Robin, Fred and Gary and even the guys who have come in later. He said they're putting their careers on the line for him. William said that they didn't question it at all in the beginning. Howard said Robin always had his back. He said it brings him to tears. William said he has the same emotion about his band.
Howard asked if he has talked to the band about that. William said he has. He said he was talking to Darcy not too long ago and apologizing for the way he acted. He said she told him that he had to be that way and it was so healing and made him feel so good to hear that. William said that people can lie and deceive you and you don't know it. He said you fight really hard for creative control with a record deal. He said they tell you that you have it but then they say that they don't have to release your record. He said they lie to you. Howard said he had that with Program Directors too.
Howard played more of the Smashing Pumpkins stuff. Howard asked how long it took him to write ''Bullet with Butterfly Wings.'' William said it wasn't that long. He said that it scares him to think about losing lines. He said he has a recorder that he uses now for that. Howard asked if he wrote stuff down back then. William said he would write down the arrangements and stuff. Howard said they should just play ''1979'' with just him and acoustic guitar. Howard said fuck the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Howard said that he wrote this in a flash. William said he did. He said that it came out quick and it was something that didn't work in the studio. He said they tried it one last time and he got it the way he wanted it. He said he's going to play it now the way he did back then on tape. William said this is what told him he had something. William went right into the song after that.
After the song Howard said look at you. He said he has to learn how to do that. He said time is running out. Howard asked William about not being able to read music. William said he can't. Howard asked how he learned to play. William said he taught himself. He said he has a brother with special needs issues and he'd come home and had to watch his brother. He said he had nothing better to do than play guitar. He said it was weird that his mother left him alone at 9 with a 7 year old special needs brother. Howard said imagine doing that to a 9 year old. Howard said that's a burden and responsibility. William said he has PTSD from that. He said he didn't know what he'd do if they had someone break in.
Howard asked how old his son is now. William said he's 2 and he had him at 48. Howard asked if he waited that long on purpose. William said he kept finding crazy bitches so he thought it would never happen. Howard said if he had the burden of watching a special needs sibling at that age he'd have issues too. Howard asked what his mom was doing. William said his mom was a stewardess and she was flying around the country. William said he knew what was going on. He said she had a boyfriend who was a therapist she'd go see at night. He said she'd just leave in the middle of the night. Howard asked how he's functioning. William said he's a good parent. He said he loves his son. He said it's just a natural thing. Robin asked if his parents didn't love him. William said he doesn't know about that. William said his son has a strong personality. Howard asked if he'll let him go into music. William said he just wants him to be happy. He said he has an interest in music though. He said he sat him at the piano from an early age. William said he wasn't allowed to touch any instrument in the house when he was a kid. He said that it was just a ''don't make any noise'' kind of thing. He said his son would sit at the piano from the age of 3 and he'd bang on the keys. Howard said he didn't know he played piano. William said he can't really play. He said it's not very good.
Howard said that he has to play more to remind the hall of fame people. He played ''Tonight, Tonight'' and said that still gives him chills. William said he still gets chills too. He said it's a cool song that he's happy he wrote. He said that one took some time. Howard said there is a lot going on there. William said it was complicated. Howard played some ''Zero'' and said come on. He said this is good too.
Howard asked if he has written any songs about his parents. William said he has and he was playing one last night called ''Now and Then.'' He said it's brutal. He told Howard what some of the lyrics are. He said they're so fucked up. He said he'd do better by killing himself by doing them a favor. He said that was from a solo album from about 2005. William said he had a friend who hung himself and when kids are exposed to suicide the kids around them have more of a chance of doing it. William said that was one of the most messed up things. He said that he just disappeared and you just heard rumors. He said his sister eventually confirmed it.
William said when he was at a Hollywood party one time he was introduced to a woman who speaks to dead people and she looked over his shoulder and said someone was there. He said it was the guy. She knew his name and the whole story. William said she told him that he was with him all the time. Howard said he has a hard time with that bullshit. William said that she told him that he was very grateful and she knew who he was and what happened. He said she looked over his shoulder and went through the whole thing. William said all of this information just came through. Howard asked if he's a believer now. William said he always has been. He said he's not a skeptic. Howard said he's one of those conspiracy theory guys. Howard said he's been on Alex Jones' show. William said what he doesn't mind is that there are people who want to know the truth. He said that's fine with him. He said that he's not an expert with structural steel or anything but he can question what happened on 9/11. He said people can question things and it doesn't bother him. He said that he's okay with the 9/11 stuff being questioned.
Howard said the reptile people thing that Alex Jones talks about really just gets him. William said he has a story that he won't tell about an experience he had. Howard said he wants to know more about that. William said he was with someone once and he saw a transformation that he can't explain. He said he saw it. He said he was totally sober when he saw it. Howard asked William if he was talking to someone and they changed. William said he was. Howard asked how it happened. William said that's not how it happened. Howard said he wants to see this. William said imagine you're doing something and you turn around and someone else is standing there. Howard asked if it was a different person. William said they told him that it did happen but they wouldn't explain. Howard asked if the person was famous. William said no. Howard said good. William said it was one of the voting members of the Rock and Roll Academy. He was joking.
Howard said he was with a woman once who took her makeup off and she transformed. Howard said he didn't know who it was. Howard said this gives him hope though. He said he wants to know there is an afterlife and maybe this kid was really there with him. Howard said he's also telling him that there are supernatural things.
William said he will tell him about something similar. He said he was working on a book and working with this thing that helped him. He lost 8 days of work one time and his girlfriend had turned and saw his mother walking through the kitchen at 25 years old walking though the kitchen. William said this happened at the time he lost his book information. He said it was a wired ripple in time. He said that he didn't get his work back but it all happened at once.
Howard asked if he's afraid of this person's power so he won't tell the story to them. William said he'd rather tell the whole story in context. He said it's hard to tell it in this way. He said that it's like the Matrix or something. Howard asked if he still knows this person. William said no. He said it's a kind of evil person. Howard said that's depressing. William said people treat the bible like it's a fairy tale but he thinks that it's based on things that happened but with people who were exposed to less knowledge.
Howard said the new album is called ''Ogilala.'' Howard asked if it has meaning to him. William said it's just a made up word. Howard asked if it's like Baba Booey. William said that's sacred at this point. Howard said his dad used to yell ''Oyay, oyay'' and it made no sense. William said he just used it because it was a fun sounding word. He said he was happy about what he had made.
Howard said he wrote this song ''Zowie'' and asked about how to pronounce it. Howard and William went through that and it turns out it's pronounced like David Bowie pronounced his name in England. William said that he loved David Bowie. He said he was such a great guy. He said he was on the same label as him and they'd run into each other once in a while. He said he was at his 50th birthday special at Madison Square Garden too. Howard asked if he talked about music with him. William said that he'd talk to him about anything but music because he didn't want to be that guy.
William said he did ''All the Young Dudes'' with Bowie. He said that he asked him why he picked that song and he said that he was reminded of him because of the lyric ''picking stars off of his face'' and he took that.
Howard played some of the song ''Zowie'' and asked if he was thinking about Bowie at the time. William said he felt like he was there in the room with him while he was doing it. Howard said he was a great guy. He said he never got to interview him. He said he was on a birthday show and he did ''I'm Afraid of Americans'' and he just performed at the show. He said he was kind of bummed. He said he thinks he was afraid of him. William said that would have been a classic if he had interviewed him.
Howard said the new album is by William Patrick Corgan. William said that he did it really just to irritate the press. He said that people call him anything and it's really not something he's demanding. He said you can still call him Billy on the street. Howard said Robin wanted to be called Ophelia but that didn't work. Robin said Fred changed his name and didn't even tell them. Howard said he changed it to Eric. He said that doesn't make sense.
Howard said William is going to do another song called ''Aeronaut'' and he was trying to figure out if it was real word. William said he thought it was. He said he wrote it for his son and he thought it was kind of fun. He said Rick Rubin produced the recorded and it was great working with him on that. Howard asked why he was shocked that he would work with him on it. William said he was kind of down at the time and he wasn't sure he'd want to work with him. He said he was worn down by the whole trip at that point. William said he sent Rick some songs and he picked this one but had him slow it down and it turned into this. He played the song for Howard after that.
After the song Howard said his voice is strong. He asked if he does anything to work on that. William said no. Howard said people say they can't perform in the morning. William said he did a 2 hour show last night. He said that he did the whole new album and a bunch of other songs. Howard said Billy Joel hates it when people start signing along with his songs. He said he did one show where he stopped and said ''I can handle this'' when people started singing his songs.
William said that he played at a place that's a Jewish temple. He said that it was a nice place to perform.
Howard asked if he ever covers songs. William said he has covered Space Oddity. He said he's doing Neil Young stuff too. Howard said he loves Neil Young. William said he can do it now for him. Howard said he would love that. Howard said he would love to hang out with him. William said they talked a lot about virtual reality with him last time he hung out with him.
Howard said it must be crazy when you get to hang out with Neil Young. William said he has been invited up to his house. He said he was there with Marilyn Manson and Lou Reed among others. He said Neil had a teepee and he was looking around and seeing this and thinking he really has to remember this moment. He said Lou was in the teepee and wondering what was happening.
Howard asked what song he covers by Neil Young. William said he does ''After the Gold Rush.'' He said he had a friend tell him to try it and it seems to work. Howard asked him to do it for him. He said he wants to hear that. William went right into the song.
After the song Howard said he loves that. Howard asked if Neil has ever heard him do that. William said he just started doing it so he doesn't think so. He just did it for the first time last night. Howard asked if he thinks it's better to do a literal version or try to do your own thing. William said it's better to do your own thing. He said you'll never be able to do it like they did it. He said if you make it personal the emotion can come through. He said Neil might laugh at it if you try to do it like he did it.
Howard said he has to get in that teepee with him and Neil. Howard asked if he watched the fight with Marilyn Manson. William said they are good friends and he did. He said the private Manson is a little different than the public. He said it's not a lot different. Robin asked if he's doing okay. William said that he is. He said his girlfriend gets on with him well and she's taking care of him.
Howard asked if he got off social media. William said he did. Howard said William posed on the cover of a magazine with a cat. William said he did. He said that he did that for a charity thing. He said that Anderson Cooper ran a piece on the eve of his record coming out and he insinuated that he was a has been because he was posing on the cover of cat magazines. He said he didn't mention that he was doing it as a charity thing. He said he thinks Anderson is a globalist piece of shit. He said he stands by what he wrote. He said social media is a full time job now. He said he had to get off of it. He said if you can't be a pro then get out of the game. He said he had to get out of the game.
Howard said it is kind of shitty what Anderson did. Howard said he has talked to the guy and he thinks he's nice. William said he is playing for a team that doesn't have his best interests at heart of America's best interests at heart. He said there are people who are sold on the thought that we're all just going to get along and ignore what's going on around the world. He said they're living in LaLaLand. He said he believes in the American vision of the dream and he is going to stick with the Americans first. He said he's not going with that globalist shit. William said that he believes people like that are working for other people and not America. He said that he went after him over a cat magazine.
Howard asked if he's still involve with the N.W.A.. William said he did buy the franchise. Howard said he was involved with TNA for a while and he was the head of that. William said they fired him after 3 months. Howard asked why they would do that. William said that 1.8 million wasn't enough. He said they tried to steal his money. He said he got his money back and invested in this other company. Robin asked what he's looking to do. William said he wants to build it back up. He said it's a brand that people know. He said it's not an easy business. He said trying to sell someone on wrestling isn't easy in Hollywood.
Howard asked William if he's involved in the wrestling story lines. William said he was with TNA but now he doesn't want to be involved. Robin asked where they can see his wrestlers. William said they just started so it might be spring before they'll start doing shows.
Howard said he really should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Howard said he loves when he comes in. Howard gave him some plugs for the new album and said you can go to Ogilala.com for tour dates. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he believed that Orlando Bloom was going to win. Robin said he didn't win because he was with a woman in the picture. George said he thinks that Michael is Meta-Sexual and that means that he's sensitive both ways. Howard asked if he has any proof of that. George said that was just his Gaydar telling him that. Howard said he had better be careful with that.
George was thanking Howard for picking the two men he picked this morning. Howard was doing his George voice and talking to him with that. Howard talked about the two men who were in there. He said they were the two biggest gay wishes he could have had. Howard said he got something from MrMan.com for George. It's a lifetime membership. George said he's sure that Brad will allowed him to enjoy that. Howard said that's a ding dong buffet there.
Howard took a call from Daniel Craig for George. George and fake Daniel spoke for a short time. Howard said maybe Daniel will honor them with some phone sex. George said he believes in actual physical presence. Howard said he can't be there live. George said he'll be in London in December. Daniel said that he'd like him to sit on his lap and discuss his Gold Member. He said just wait until he sees his Penis Galore.
Howard said Fred is touching himself. Howard thanks Daniel Craig or whoever he is. Howard let him go.
Robin started her news asking what Howard thinks about the shape shifting thing. Howard said he's not sure. Howard asked George if he believes. George said it's about people having some basis for it. He said if you experience it... Howard said he has to laugh. Howard said Billy said that he saw a guy shape shift in front of his eyes and he wasn't high. Howard said if that's the case then why don't they come forward and get on TV and show them what they can do. Howard said the same thing about aliens and ghosts. Howard asked why they don't show themselves. George said he thinks he saw it in his mind. George said he thinks it happened in his mind. Howard said he wants to see it in person. George said it's in his mind. Howard said he's saying it's not real. Howard said Billy was calling it real. George said it was real to him. Howard said Billy can do no wrong so he's going with what he said.
Robin asked Howard if his cock shrinks over time. Howard said yes. George agreed. George said that his was bigger when he was younger. George said he's shrinking height wise as well. He said he was 5'6'' 1/2. He said he used to be 5'8'' tall. Howard said he stands up straight so that's unbelievable. Howard asked how it disappears. George said that bones get denser. Howard said that he can't wait to shrink. He said he walks hunched over to get smaller and he still can't. He said he's 6'5'' tall. Howard asked George how much smaller his cock has gotten. George said he's lost about a half inch. He said Brad is younger and he still has full length. Howard asked if his girth is the same. George said it is. Howard asked where he cums on Brad. George said he does it in his mouth. He said he can tell it's Cocktober. Howard asked if he has less of a penis. George said it's not bothersome. He said that he had a small one as a child and it grew as a man. Howard started to sing about George's cock like he was in a musical. George said he's a great lyricist.
Robin said they say that these changes are normal. Robin said that if people measured their penis they will see that they lose some. Howard said when he was younger he could put out a California wild fire with his load but no more. Howard said he feels his penis shrinking every day. He said he's almost inverted now.
Robin read a story about smoking and how that causes a decline in testosterone. Robin said it can stop the penis from reaching peak hardness. Howard said he saw someone smoking the other day and said his cock must be very small. George said he walks down the sidewalk and people smoke. He said he hates that. Howard agreed. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard played another announce that George did for Cocktober. He asked for a ManAssVember in that one.
Howard had Sour Shoes on the phone and he was doing his George Takei impression. Sour George said his penis is ''noine'' inches long. Howard said he defies what Robin reported. Howard asked how big he was as a young man. Sour George said he was 7 inches. He asked if he wanted to meet in the Brambles. Real George said it's the Rambles. Howard kept Sour Shoes on the phone for a little longer as George. He had George laughing with his impression.
Robin read a story about the Harvey Weinstein story fallout. Robin said that his wife has a fashion brand and she's not sure if that will survive. Howard said he's not sure that anything is going to survive. Howard said it's like a hurricane. Robin said the wife is leaving Harvey and people are now saying they won't wear her dresses. They spent a few minutes talking about Harvey and the nonsense he was up to. George was wondering about the pronunciation of his last name. Howard said Quesntin Tarantino must be freaking out because he did his movies with Weinstein's company. Robin had some comments from Woody Allen about the situation and he's saying that he's hoping this doesn't turn into a witch hunt. Howard said Benjy leaves his shirt on during sex. Howard said you'd think that would be what Harvey would do.
Robin read more about Harvey Weinstein and had a clip of Seth MacFarlane joking about Harvey Weinstein a few years ago at the Oscars. Howard asked why it didn't come out back then. Robin said no one jumped on it. Robin said that when Kate Winslet won an Oscar she was told to thank Harvey Weinstein and she said she wouldn't do it. Robin said she claims that he tried to take credit for making her a big star for years. Robin had some audio of John Oliver talking about Harvey Weinstein being kicked out of the Academy but Bill Cosby, Roman Polanski and Mel Gibson are still in it. Howard said Meryl Streep called Harvey a god in a speech but she claims she didn't know what he was doing.
Robin read about how James Corden got in trouble for making jokes about Harvey Weinstein. Robin had some audio of him joking about Harvey at some event. Howard said maybe it was too soon.
Robin had some audio of Courtney Love speaking out about Harvey in 2005. Howard said in 1987 he was talking about Harvey Weinstein. He just talked about him like it was an old clip. Howard said he called him out way back then and in 1988. Howard pretended to be interviewing George Takei back then. Howard said the whole idea of going to rehab for 2 weeks for that is nonsense.
Howard said he used to get email from Harvey asking him to do things. He said it was kind of aggressive behavior. Howard wondered if he's going to the same place that Anthony Weiner is going. Howard said Weiner is going to jail actually. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves Cocktober. He said he hopes next month will be dedicated to women. Howard said they're going to celebrate balls next month actually.
Howard had Sour Shoes back on the line as George Takei. He gave him Harvey Weinstein, Harvey Firestein and Harvey Kean for an F, Marry, Kill. Howard asked if he's taking a bath. Sour George said he is. Howard let him go a short time later.
Robin read a story about Steven Seagal and how they're in the news with him because Jenny McCarthy told a story about Seagal harassing her many years ago. Robin had some audio of Jenny talking about that in an interview.
Howard said he's always confused because it's a bombshell of an allegation and no one does anything. George said his career was over maybe. George said he didn't ask him to get naked in his TV series up in Canada. Howard asked what the fuck is going on with these guys. George said it's power. They feel they have it and they want to exercise it. Howard said he can't think of a worse scenario than that.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Kimmel coming to town. Robin said last week he exchanged some words with Donald Trump Jr. Robin said after the Weinstein story broke Jimmy responded to something Don Jr. had tweeted. Robin said Trump tweeted about late night hosts and how they should attack Weinstein so Jimmy had an answer for him. She had some audio of Jimmy talking about that.
Howard said he will be on Kimmel on Wednesday. He said Jeff the Drunk will be there too. Howard had Jeff on the phone. Jeff said he's coming to see him on Wednesday. He said he'll be tapping at the door. Howard said someone is going to get played off. Fred played Jeff off with some loud music. Howard said they were kind of on fire today so they needed some cooling down. He thanked Jeff for that. Howard said he likes Jeff just fine actually. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how people are afraid of saying Merry Christmas and President Trump is saying that we're going to start saying it again. Howard said no one is afraid to say Merry Christmas. Howard said just try being a Jew. He said you've got to be kidding. Robin had audio of Trump saying they're stopping attacks on Christian Judeo values and they're going to say Merry Christmas again. Howard said he doesn't know anyone who doesn't think they can say Merry Christmas. George said he's a Buddhist and he says it. He said they're making it a cutting knife edge.
Robin read a story about how we have a much stronger border now. Robin said they caught Melissa Etheridge and Todd Rundgren at the border. Robin said they were caught by a K-9 unit with drugs. Howard said that should stop the drug problem. Robin said Melissa was detained for having marijuana oil she uses to maintain pain from having cancer. Robin said Todd was found with liquid THC and two vapes. Robin said thank goodness we have stronger borders.
Robin read a story about Jason Aldean heading back on the road after the shootings at his show in Las Vegas. Robin said it's been a tough week and a half for him. Robin had some audio of him talking to his fans at a show. Robin said he resumed his tour in Tulsa last Thursday. Robin had a couple of clips to play from the concert.
Robin said that Howard said he wanted to go to the Springsteen concert. Howard said he would love to go. He said he'd go for Bruce. George said he's glad he's going to a Broadway theater. Howard did his George Takei voice and talked about that.
Robin read about how America's Funniest Home Videos host Alfonso Ribero says he's not comfortable dancing when people ask him to. Robin had some audio of him talking about that and how uncomfortable it is for people to ask a black man to dance. Howard said just dance. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Howard started the show talking about ''The Great American Nightmare'' and how he should have asked Rob Zombie what he's talking about in the song. He said he just sings in it.
Howard said today is a big day for him because one of his heroes is coming in. He said Robert Plant is going to be coming in. He said he's going to grace them with his presence. Howard said he has a lot of questions for him. He said he's been waiting since high school to ask. Howard told Fred not to fuck this up for him. He said this is a big day for him like when Paul McCartney comes in. He said this is the first time he's meeting Robert Plant. Howard said he actually changed outfits this morning. He said he had a Black Sabbath t-shirt on and he said he has to change that. Howard said it's like going on a show and the host is wearing an Imus t-shirt or something. Howard said he had to change.
Howard said he doesn't have any rock stuff on now. He said he has a blue jacket over a black shirt. He said he wanted to look good for Robert Plant and this won't offend him. He said he looked good in the Black Sabbath t-shirt though. He said he put some thought into it and took it off. He said he should be wearing a Zeppelin shirt or a Robert Plant solo shirt. Howard said he doesn't think he'd want to see him in a Zeppelin shirt either. Robin said she doesn't think he'd want to see him in any of those shirts. Howard said he may not dig that.
Howard said he loves Led Zeppelin. He said he has to talk to him about so much. He said he might need 17 hours for an interview. Howard said he saw the band in 1977 or so and he went with Ted Utz who went on to be the GM of WNEW. Howard said they were both DJs at WRNW. He said he wasn't really close to Ted but they went to see Led Zeppelin together. He said they left early because there were quarter sticks of dynamite raining down on his head. He said he had to get out of there. He said he thinks Ted left too. Howard said they saw the band for a while but it was dangerous.
Howard asked Jon Hein what the name of the tour or what the date was. Jon said it was June 1977. Howard said they played in 1977 and he was there. Jon read some of an article from back then when people were assaulting with fireworks. Howard said he thinks they were playing Kashmir and the fireworks were going berserk. He said he didn't want to lose an eye or anything.
Robin said she almost got killed at a concert she went to. She said they wouldn't let people in and it was festival seating. She said people stampeded in and she was crushed against the door. She said her feet were against the door and people pushed her against it. Howard said he was almost blown up. Howard thanked Jon for that story. He played a ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' song parody after that.
Howard asked Robin what the greatest Led Zeppelin album of all time is. Robin thought about it and said Houses of the Holy. Howard said no but close. Howard said Led Zeppelin II is the best. He said Houses is the second greatest. He said that was such a great album. He said he remembers laying in a guy's house listening to the album. He said he was at a party and had smoked some weed. He said he had a boy/girl party and he smoked a lot of weed which was new to him at the time. Howard said he was smoking it and the guy had a soundtrack going. He said it was the first time he heard the album. Howard played some ''Whole Lotta Love'' and ''What is and What Should Never Be'' after that. Howard said he was high listening to this. He played ''The Lemon Song'' and talked about how he was maybe a junior or sophomore in high school when that came out.
Howard said that was the soundtrack of his awful childhood. Howard said Abbey Road was on the top of the charts and there were a lot of great albums in the charts too. He said it was a great time for music. Howard played some of the song ''Thank You'' and sang along with it.
Howard said this is why the album was the greatest. He played a few more songs from the album. He said ''Heartbreaker'' and ''Livin Lovin Maid'' didn't have a space between them. Howard said you worry about dead air as a DJ and you know the album by heart but then the songs just go into each other and you miss it. Howard said ''Ramble On'' was also on that album. So was Moby Dick. He said it's unbelievable. He said they end it with ''Bring it on Home.'' Howard said it's unbelievable.
Howard said the reason Houses of the Holy is the second greatest is because every song was fucking good. Robin said that's why she was confused. Howard said she did alright. Howard played a few songs from that album too. He played some of ''The Rain Song'' and said he has to ask Robert about that. He said George Harrison said he didn't have any ballads so they wrote this. Howard said they don't even need Robert to come in. He said he has it all figured out.
Howard said he's just tickling Robin's ass with a feather. He said this will be really exciting. Robin said that Robert wrote the lyrics. Howard said they will talk to him about that when he comes in. Robin said she loves the documentary ''It's Gonna Get Loud in Here.'' Howard said he does too. Howard said they can wait for him to come in before getting into more.
Robin said George was still flying high after yesterday's show. She said she saw him after the show and she went to say hi and get a hug. She said that it was great to see him and George was still talking about those penises he saw on display. Howard said he had cock on the brain. Howard said he was trying to bond with Robin. Howard said she's the only person in the studio who might be into cock. Howard said he might be hornier than Ronnie. Robin said she thinks he's right. Howard said George is really into cock.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves that they get to talk to Robert today. Howard said he's been waiting a long time to talk to him. The caller said he can't wait. He said this is awesome. Howard said they have a lot of ground to cover with that.
Howard said he should get some Cocktober stuff out of the way. He said he thinks they should honor it with Richard Christy. Howard said he claims to be heterosexual but he's not sure. He said they're going to play Name that Splooge with him.
Howard said Richard is very familiar with porn stars and their loads. Howard had Richard come in to play. He said it's time for Name that Splooge. Howard played an intro for the game.
Howard said Richard claims to be straight but he studies porn stars and their loads. He said he claims he can name porn stars by the sounds of them cumming. Howard said he's going to play clips of 80s and 90s porn stars and Richard has to name them. Howard played a clip of a guy cumming and told Richard some of the guys who are in this game. Howard had a list of about 10 names.
Howard let the clip play and Richard guessed it was Lexington Steele. Howard said he's correct. Howard said he's very good.
Howard said that Lexington Steele is the guy that Scott the Engineer agreed to take anal from. Richard said Lex wasn't into that and wasn't happy that they wanted to use him.
Howard said they're playing more clips with Richard. Howard played a clip and Richard guessed it was Manuel Ferrara. Howard said he's correct again. Richard said he's French and he says ''Open your mouse'' with his accent when he's telling the woman to open her mouth.
Howard said he's not sure anyone else could play this game. He said he's 2 for 2 and should be ashamed of himself. Howard played another clip and Richard guessed it was Rocco Sefretti. Howard said he's correct again.
Howard said he's pretty amazing. Richard said he thinks he gave Savanna from Scores her big break. Robin asked if he's the one who puts women's heads in toilets. Richard said Sal is a fan of that. Howard said he seems a little gay to know this stuff. He said he should know the women. Richard said he went through a long drought of no sex so he got to know porn.
Howard played a clip and Richard guessed it was either Randy West, Randy Spears or Tom Byron. He said he's going to say it was Tom. Howard said he is correct again. He said what a talent. Howard said Richard has said he identified with Tom as a kid. Richard said he looked kind of normal but he had a real big wiener. Howard asked Fred what he makes of this. Fred said he baffles him with his knowledge. Richard said he and his buddy that he bathed with would watch this stuff. Howard said he's like the Ken Jennings of porn.
Howard said Richard is 4 for 4 so far. Howard played another clip and Richard guessed it was one of the Randys. He said it sounds older so he's saying Randy Spears. Howard said he's so sorry but that's wrong. He said it was Randy West. Howard said he was doing so well.
Howard said he read that Richard says that he doesn't like him so much because he shoots small loads. Howard said that's kind of gay to know that. He said it's very fucking odd to him. Richard said it's in straight porn. Richard asked if Robin likes big loads. Robin said she doesn't care about that.
Howard said he's going to play another one. He played that and Richard knew immediately it was Peter North. Howard had a fact about Peter who came up with his porn name because a peter is a penis and it points north when it's hard. Howard said he's Richard's favorite because of his loads. Richard said he's been around since the 80s and he looks great. Howard said Richard is gay.
Howard played another clip an Richard knew it was Randy Spears immediately. Howard said in 2015 he left porn and found religion. Howard said Richard only got one wrong out of 7.
Howard said Richard said he would receive a load from Peter North. Richard said he wanted to have him jizz on his back when Seth MacFarlane came in.
Howard said Richard and Sal actually had ideas for Cocktober that they rejected. Howard said Richard offered to blow him to show his loyalty. Richard said that still stands. Howard said that's gay. Richard said it would be the greatest thing ever if he did that. Howard said not for him. Robin asked how that's not gay. Richard said it would be radio history.
Howard said Richard and Sal wanted Jon Hein to wrestle them and rape them in the ass. Richard said it was a contest to see who Jon could rape without them getting away. Howard said that's usually how gay sex begins.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why it took them this long to figure this out. He said it's genius. He said they need more Richard and Sal.
Howard said Richard and Sal wanted to pee in a cup while doing a hand stand. Robin said that's funny. Howard said Sal wanted to collect loads from everyone to weigh them. Howard said Richard wanted to draw boners on a piece of paper. He said Richard and Sal wanted to see who could fuck their own asshole.
Richard said when he handed Gary his paper with his cock outline it was like handing over a bio hazard paper.
Howard said Richard and Sal pitched and idea to have Jon Hein guess whose cock was on his head. Howard said he doesn't know why that was rejected.
Howard said Richard and Sal are the Laurel and Hardy of gay comedy. Howard said they also pitched the veiniest staff cock. Richard said he has a blue one on the top of his. Robin said it's interesting how much he thinks about this stuff. Howard said he has seen Gary's dick. He said he went to the gym with Gary. Gary said they played racquetball. Howard said he didn't go near the shower. He said Gary didn't mind and stripped down in front of him. He said Gary whipped his clothes off and got in the shower. He said his cock was out and it was pretty big from what he remembers.
Howard said Richard and Sal had all kinds of stuff with guys getting naked. Howard said he had to shave his balls the other night because his balls looked like a Billy goat. Howard said he just used shears to do that. Howard played a song parody about ''Cock in your asshole'' and wrapped up with Richard. Howard said he's going to take a break and get back to other stuff.
Richard said he has another idea. He said Sal would sing Elvis songs into his cock. Howard just went to break.
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Howard came back and said he does love the wack Pack. He said he was watching the High Pitch Erik feed on the internet. He said Erik has his own thing and he's so fascinated by the guy. Howard said nothing happens for the most part. He said he sits in his room and it's really more like a jail cell. He said it's tiny. He said that he's so fat and he's jammed in a corner on his computer. Howard said it's fascinating and he's not sure why. Howard said he's watching this thing and he's not sure why. Howard said he was on the phone with some guy and requesting stuff for his stomach stapling that's happening in November. Howard said he wants an iPad and balloons. He said he's like a 4 year old.
Howard played a clip of Erik talking to a friend asking for the balloons and the iPad for when he's in the hospital. He told the friend he wants the iPad so he can look at porno.
Howard said Shuli is going to cover the stomach stapling thing if it happens. Howard asked how that's going to happen. Shuli came in and said that Erik was offering him to stay over at his place the night before his surgery. Shuli did his impression of Erik asking for all of this stuff for his room.
Howard played a clip of Erik lighting up and smoking and then coughing kind of like Jeff the Drunk. Howard laughed as he heard him coughing. He said he's like Jabba the Hutt. Howard asked how that's fun coughing like that. Howard said the weed is so good that he has to do it. Shuli did the impression of Erik like he was Jabba. He said he likes how he tries to talk and he chokes on the words. Howard said he might be his favorite. Howard said he becomes more masculine when he smokes and coughs.
Shuli said Erik gets more masculine when he gets tired from walking too. He did an impression of Erik talking that had Howard cracking up. He was doing the voice getting lower after smoking and then asking him if he wanted to stay over.
Howard said he watched Erik taking like 50 pills in his room. He said some fans call the cops on Erik too. He said the cops show up at his door. He said they come in and say they got a call claiming they need to check on him. He said Erik starts listing the drugs and pills he takes. Howard played a clip of Erik getting the cop visit. The cops were asking if he had taken pills. Erik said he has night time meds. Howard said he has case the size of a suitcase that he shows them. Howard played more of the clip and Erik was talking about his pills and vitamins. He was going through all of his pills showing them what he has going on. He has back pain pills, stool softener, heart burn pills and more. The cops smelled weed and asked about that. He said he did smoke. Erik continued to go over the pills. He named a ton of stuff.
Howard said imagine the cops that have to deal with this. He said Erik quickly mentioned Howard Stern and Blue Bloods. Howard played more of Erik telling them about the show he does online. He said he's on radio. The cops asked what he does. Erik then said he is on the Howard Stern Show. He said he's also on Blue Bloods. The cops figured out he was High Pitch Erik. Erik said that his fans told on him for smoking weed. The cops were telling each other who he was.
Howard said it's still illegal to smoke weed but the cops are ignoring it. Howard said he didn't pull the clip where Erik was checking his Donnie Wahlberg doll for a penis and he gets angry when there isn't one.
Howard said Erik is going to get this weight loss thing. Shuli said that he's down to 387. He said he is losing some weight. He said the doctor says he'll have to come in later to get the extra skin taken off. Howard said he thinks he's going to gain weight after the surgery.
Howard said they took drops of Alex Jones and called High Pitch Erik and told him that Alex was up there and angry at him. Howard said they really go at it in this call. Howard played the clip of the guys calling Erik and telling him that Alex Jones is upset with him. They put him on and Erik started cursing him out right away. Erik argued with the clips of Jones for a few minutes.
Howard said he thought Fred was going to go into something. Fred said he's sorry about that. He played a JD bit into commercials.
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Howard said he had never heard of this woman Kina Grannis but she did a cover of a song that was great. Howard said he's not sure how to pronounce her first name. Howard said he thought it was cool when he heard it. Howard played the cover of ''Creep'' that she did. Howard said he's not sure if she's a big deal or not. He asked if anyone knew about her. He let the song play but no one was coming in.
Robin said she's considered a ''web artist.'' Howard said that's how he found her. Howard let the song play and said that she's the Cocktober artist of the day. He said he likes her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a pharmacist and listening to Erik's meds makes him sick. He said he should come in before November 10th because if he has that surgery he may not make it out of there. The caller said it was nice listening to him while he was alive. Howard said he hopes nothing happens because it is fun listening to him.
Howard said that's not good news. Howard said he has a Big Foot phony phone call. He said Shuli checks in with him all the time too. Howard said maybe he should play a little of that.
Howard said Al Michaels was announcing a game and tried making a Harvey Weinstein reference and had to apologize for it. Howard said he was trying to make a reference to something in the news and it didn't go over well. Howard said you have to be careful with that. Howard played a clip of Al saying that the Giants were coming off worse than Harvey Weinstein. Howard did an impression of Al making tasteless jokes.
Howard said they must have gotten a hold of Al rapidly because he came out with the apology immediately. Howard played a clip of the apology. In the clip Al said he was being flip about someone in the news and it wasn't meant in that manner.
Howard did more of his Al impression and made more tasteless jokes that he could have said. Howard said Al was trying. Howard said people would watch even without the commentary so just play it safe. Robin said she likes to have a commentator when she's watching tennis.
Robin said that she was watching tennis and they said they needed a nickname for a player and one of the guys suggested ''The Hebrew Hammer.'' Robin said she wondered what that means.
Howard said Al must have been read the riot act after that comment. Howard did more of his announcer impression and had people talking about tennis and making tasteless jokes about Venus Williams. Robin said the sad thing is that no one is watching tennis so no one gets corrected.
Howard had more references about tennis that he went through. Howard said he knows he could keep his job if he had that announcer job. Howard said he just wouldn't say anything. Howard said just shut up.
Howard kept going with the tennis announcer tasteless comments. He said the apology is also very vague. He said it wasn't very clear about what Al was apologizing for.
Howard had his announcer talking about this tennis player and making crazy stuff up. Howard was calling a game and making comments and then apologizing. Robin said the thing about tennis is that they go to hot spots like China and Russia. She said they talk about what beautiful cities they're in.
Howard said he has another good announcer thing. Howard said this guy Dick Stockton is reading from a teleprompter and he read a direction. Howard said it might be worth playing twice. Howard played the clip and Dick read about how he was supposed to read the final two bullet points. Howard got back to his tennis game call.
Howard said he really loves Al Michaels. He said he just has to move on to the next thing. Howard said he was stellar during the OJ thing. He said Peter Jennings didn't know he was being goofed on and Al had to straighten him out on that.
Howard said Big Foot wants them to help him become a competitive eater. Howard played a clip where Big Foot talked about that and he was bragging about eating more than his uncle did. Shuli asked if he wanted to be a competitive eater. Big Foot said that's what he's talking about and he wants to be in a contest. Robin said the professionals really work at it and they do it fast. She said they're not going to wait to see how many bones he collects.
Howard said Big Foot still has the squatters in his house and they answer his phone as ''Big Foot residence.'' Howard said the squatters are helping him out and giving him tissues and stuff when he needs it. Howard played a clip of Big Foot asking for a paper towel to wipe his nose with.
Howard did his Aqualung song thing where he says things about snot running down Big Foot's nose. Robin said you know things are bad when you're squatting at Big Foot's house. Howard said Harvey Weinstein might end up there.
Howard said that Big Foot told Shuli about using used tissues to wipe his ass. Big Foot said he's trying to be ''asservative'' (Conservative) by using used tissues. Howard was grossed out by that. He wondered if he ever got a booger stuck up his ass from that.
Howard said he claims he has ESP too. Howard played a clip and Big Foot said he knows when things are going to happen in the future and he doesn't think nothing of it. Howard asked if you can imagine using used tissues to wipe your butt. Robin said no. Robin said she can't imagine being able to see the future and ending up like Big Foot. Howard said you'd think he'd know that squatters would end up in his house.
Howard said they made a phony phone call to an internet radio show using Big Foot audio clips. Howard played that and in the call they had Big Foot saying that their phone was muffled. They had him complaining about not being able to hear them. The host of the show kept going but eventually gave up on the call. They hung up but the guys called back with more clips of Big Foot complaining about gastritis and then more with him being unable to hear them. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he has Robert Plant in the studio. He said Robert is a rock god. He said he might faint. He said the new album is called ''Carry Fire.''
Howard said he's really about to faint. Fred was playing clips of him fainting. Howard asked how Robert can have a regular life while guys are fawning over him like this. He asked if he's been in the city overnight. Robert said he was up at 5 in the morning. He said dawn is very late there. Howard said they're getting into winter. Howard said Robert became a superstar early on and he must not have had to have a regular job. Robert said he did. He said he would get up at 6 in the morning to put asphalt down on the roads. Howard said he did a lot of manual labor and they were some of the happiest times in his life. Robert said that it was very funny and a different grade of humor. He said he was on a mission and he knew what he wanted to do. Robert said he never made the grade. He said being a singer isn't being a musician.
Howard asked Robert why he didn't play instruments and go full out. Robert said he had a Lucky 7 guitar and it was just under an English pound. He said he had lessons and he started learning how to play something and then he became an accountant. He said he stopped that after about 3 months.
Howard said taking on a musical career is something. He said his dad wasn't into it. Robert said his grandfather played instruments. He said that what he saw was his grandfather was the leader of a band and these musicians used to get together after a day of hard work and they perspiration would get taken back in with ales, wines and spirits. He said they'd play some German marching band music. He said it was all about having a good time.
Howard said being in a band with the guys in Led Zeppelin is a big deal. He said getting with the right guys is essential. Robert said he didn't look around the edges of success. He said he just wanted to do something kick ass and have someone push him in his insanity. Howard asked if he knew he was going to be huge. Robert said they were named The New Yardbirds to begin with. He said that he and Bonham played together a lot.
Howard said Robert wanted to be a musician as a kid. Robert said he didn't decide he wanted to be. He said there was just more color. Howard asked when he knew he could sing. Robert said he began by being impressed by sound and music. He said he was really into the Bohemian scene in those days. Howard said he lived near an art school. Robert said he did and they were waiting for the mod thing to happen just 6 miles away.
Howard asked how old he was when he was dancing around as Elvis. Robert said he was maybe 9 or 10. Howard asked if he was embarrassed by that. Robert said he just knew the voice and it was celestial. He said if you think about the number of styles he possessed he could go from making a gospel album to other styles. Howard asked if he styled his career after his. Robert said he didn't do anything purposefully. He said Elvis was channeled in for these roles he played. He said Colonel Tom Parker got him into a lot of things. He said Elvis did a lot of things he didn't know he was going to do.
Howard asked if he ever met Elvis. Robert said he did. Howard asked if he talked to him about music. Robert said of course he did. He said he lived in Memphis back then and he was on the edge of the black part. He said that Jerry Lee Lewis used to hang out in places and listen to people playing. He said that Elvis did that too. He said in England they were starved of the music scene. He said national radio was keeping it under wraps. He said that they were playing to the audience they got. He said when they put the Rock Around the Clock movies out the crowds would get up and pull the chairs out. He said they were waiting years for that stuff to happen.
Howard asked Robert how he met Elvis. Robert said he played before him in L.A. He said they had the same agent. Robert said he wasn't switched on to everything going on. He said Elvis didn't know who Elton John was when he met him. Robert said Elvis wanted to know what this phenomenon was that was Led Zeppelin.
Howard asked if they just sat down and talked. Robert said they stood up the whole time. He said they had a suite that they met in and they had this room just for Elvis. He said as they went in the room was filling up with women and Elvis' dad, Vernon. He said the women looked like Sandra Dee for the most part. He said they all looked similar. He said Elvis had good taste.
Robert said the door at the end of the suite kept opening. He said the room was buzzing and then Elvis came into the room and he kind of grooved his way through the people. He said he was twinkling his eyes. He said they just stood there for about 2 hours talking in a circle.
Howard asked if that's the best part of being famous that you get to meet other famous people. Robert said not really. Robin asked if he still lives here. Robert said not anymore. He said he lived in Austin for a while. He said he didn't have enough sun tan lotion. Howard said he must have gotten bored there. Howard said he's a world traveler. Robert said there is so much in every country and in West Texas going down toward Big Bend it's great. He said he brought a dog out there with him because of the mountain lions. He said it was great down there but he couldn't hack it.
Howard asked Robert if Jimmy Page was the love of his life. Robert laughed. Robin said not in a gay way. Howard said they created this body of work that is mind blowing. He said they had so many great albums and they were so important to him. Howard said that he's not sure why they don't tour but it seems to him that they share a love. Howard said what they created is like creating children. Robert said it's serendipitous. He said that's a big word for this time of morning. Howard said especially for this audience. Robert said that he wanted to be really good. He said he didn't think about success but he wanted to learn and expand. Howard said he and Bonzo were the first to hook up. He said he was maybe the best rock drummer to ever live. Howard said he was drumming like a jazz drummer. Robert said he was into that kind of drumming and he had great chops. He said he wanted to get away from him throughout their childhood. Robert said he was playing a gig one night and Bonham came up to him saying he was alright but he'd be better with the best drummer in the world. He said he asked to see what he can do and he told him where he lives. He said he was half a gallon of gasoline from where they were.
Robert said with Jimmy it's a catalystic thing. He said that you don't know what's going on until you get into it deep down. He said that the music brought them together. He said they all had talent.
Robert said that he has a new record out. Howard said he knows. He said he's not going to get out of there for 17 hours so he has time. Robert asked if he thinks he likes this kind of shit. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard said he saw Heart singing Stairway to Heaven and they did a great performance. Howard said Robert shed a tear. He said that he has watched that like 50 times. Howard asked if he was reflecting that Heart sounds good or what. He asked what made him cry. Robert said that Jason Bonham was playing drums. He said that he was thinking about the dance hall thing and what John could do for him. He said he was thinking all those years later that it was one ridiculous blast. He said that he and Bonzo knew each other from the age of 16. He said they went through so much together. He said they were kids through it all. He said there was a lot of emotion in the air for him that night. He said he wasn't a convincing comedian.
Howard said he thinks what he's saying is that John Bonham was a kindred spirit and they met after Robert dropped out of school. Howard asked how he broke the news to his parents about that. Robert said he knew he wanted to sing. Howard asked if school bored him. Robert said no. He said there were certain subjects he loved. He said he followed through with some of them. Robert said he wanted to study archeology and find out what happened to the Romans. He said he was really intrigued by it. He said he lives near the misty mountains and there was a lot going on in school that he enjoyed.
Howard asked Robert about being at the Kennedy Center Honors and how he must have been thinking about how great it would be if John could be there. Robert said he has wished that a lot over the years. He said music is a healer and a stimulus for the intensity that's around us. He said it's supposed to be a cure. He said the whole process of sharing people with gongs and medals has nothing to do with making the music in the first place. He said he wouldn't be there now with Howard if he didn't love what he does. He said that he was 34 years older than he was when John passed away. He said they'd still hang out together when the band wasn't working. He said that he was a member of the late risers club. He said they'd be regular guys.
Howard said when Led Zeppelin 1 comes out Rolling Stone magazine trashed it. Howard asked if he cared about that. Robert said not at all. He said they just went on to the next gig. Howard said it must destroy and artist. Robert said he didn't care. He said just look at who's running it. He said they had trashed Cream too. He said he had never seen so many roads, fields and mountains. He said that he just had to get to the next gig.
Howard said he was turned on to Zeppelin when Led Zeppelin II came out. Howard said the Rolling Stone reporter said he was wrong about the band. Howard said that's vindication. Howard said the guys didn't care about that, right? Robert said they were playing all over the country and they were Zeppelin by then. He said they were playing all over and not thinking about that kind of thing. He said now he wants to be loved. Howard said they do love him.
Howard said that The Who's Tommy was out at the time too. Robert said he'll tell a story about Tommy. He said they went to see Tommy at the Fillmore. He said they ran out and went to eat and they ate all of The Who's food because they thought that he looked like Roger Daltrey.
Howard asked if they were all competitive with each other. Howard asked if they were trying to outdo each other. Robert said not at all. He said they were kids and you don't have time for that. Robert said it's a funny thing because PR companies give out the information about you and they were told how the Stones were doing. He said they had a great manager and they just did what they did.
Howard said there are some front men who don't move. He said Mick Jagger has to dance and he waned to do that because of James Brown. Howard asked if he was told to move or does he just do his thing. Robert said there was a lot of time between verses. Howard said Jimmy will play a solo and he can't just stand there. Robert said that he can't remember much about it. He said he just thought about it as being some kind of cosmic aerobics. Howard said he lets the music move him.
Howard asked how important what they wore was. Robert said that these are silly questions. Howard said they're really not. He said image is everything. Robert said they found a place that had old prop clothes and that's what they'd get. He said that he thinks that Cameron Crow was following them around and made a chronicle of them. He said that the structure of everything has gone right up its own rectum. He said that you have to just say at one point that something happened for a lot of musicians. He said there was no plan. Howard said it's too planned now. He said it's all calculated.
Robert said he's there now to promote his album. He said he loves his band and he loves what he does. Howard said the record industry has changed a lot and it's really hard to sell an album. Robert said that things are moving quickly and changing. He said that getting music out is hard. He said never mind the stigma of ageism. He said that you can't get upset about it though. He said the winds of change are happening. Robert said he likes to sing so he's going to keep doing that.
Howard said he wants to ask questions about his songs. Howard played some songs and asked questions about each one. Robert said he should have gotten this out of the way by appearing on the show 20 years ago. Howard said he has to do more interviews with him from now on.
Howard played some Led Zeppelin music and asked if he goes away for months to figure out how to do it. Robert said back then they had no way to carry things around with them. He said he only had a mono record player. Howard asked if he hears the lyrics in his head when he hears a riff. Robert said that he has written ideas down but not back in that time.
Howard asked Robert about this song ''Babe I'm Gonna Leave You'' and that was a Joan Baez song. Howard said he can't figure out how they chose that song to turn it into a Zeppelin song. Howard played Joan's version. Howard said it moved Robert. Robert said it was brilliant. Robert said Joan was carrying a crucible of so many things. He said she's so important to this day. He said that she came out and sang last year when he played in the city. He said at the time he was just 16 when he heard that song. He said the band wanted this guy Terry Reid to sing for them. He said they came to see him and saw him sing in a group singing Buffalo Springfield songs. He said Jimmy said he was going to go somewhere to figure things out and he asked him to come along. He said he was 19 at the time. He said he got his vinyl out of his suitcase and the stuff Jimmy had was very similar. He said the Joan Baez stuff was something they both liked.
Howard said it really is like Jimmy was the love of his life. He said they had the same music taste. Robert was telling Howard how he would send away for records from the U.S. and how he'd get them in the mail. He said they could go out of business with this station if he keeps going on with this.
Howard played Zeppelin's ''Babe I'm Gonna Leave You.'' Robert said that he'd forgotten about some of this.
Howard said he's going to move on to Led Zeppelin II. Howard said he almost lost his mind when he heard it. Howard said he has been waiting his life to tell him this. He said the greatest love song ever written is ''Thank You.'' Howard said the lyrics are great. He recited them to Robert. Robert said he's handing it out like it's Shakespeare. Howard said he wrote those on a card for his wife and he did credit Robert for them. Howard said it's really a great love song.
Howard played some songs from Led Zeppelin II. He played ''Whole Lotta Love'' for Robert and Robert said it's in stereo too. Howard asked if they planned the song the way it came out. Robert said of course it was planned. Howard said that Lemon Song was a filthy song for the time. Howard said that was filth back then to have the juice running down your leg lyric. Robert said he doesn't think anyone cared back then.
Howard played the song and Robert was laughing. Robert said he doesn't think about this stuff. Howard said he would. Robert said he thinks about it but not in this detail. He said it's very early in the morning for this.
Howard asked if he remembers recording this. Robert said he thinks they were in L.A. He said being music freaks they knew there was a studio in L.A. that recorded some great stuff. He said they thought the stuff was going to be the same when Ritchie Valens recorded La Bamba. He said they recorded this and Moby Dick there.
Howard asked if some of the songs are tougher to record. Robert said that sometimes the songs were tough. He said that he wondered how he got to some of the first notes in the songs. He said they would try at different hours of the day to get it right. He said there's something in the body clock that gets it there. He said the adrenalin kind of comes up like sap in a tree. He said that's the time to do it and you just hit it.
Howard asked if he gets frustrated when he's trying to do it and you can't get it. Robert said he's never really been in that position. Howard asked if any of the guys ever pressured him. Robert said they were good guys. He said Bonzo used to say to him that he wasn't very good but he looks good so just go out and do it. He said Bonzo was really his brother and he loved him. Howard said he was the heart and soul of the band. Robert said he was a loose cannon but he was a good hearted man.
Howard asked if he's fiercely anti drug and alcohol because of what it did to the band. Robert said he doesn't do drugs but he has tried some. He said that it did take away from the band.
Robert said he was in a car wreck in the 70s and he was in a wheelchair for 7 months. Howard said his wife was driving and he thought that he was dead at the time. Robert said that it took a while to get the news out. Robert said when you're out of the game and you can't drive or do anything then why waste a second of time after that. Robin said life was precious.
Howard asked if Robert tried to talk to the guys about that. Robert said their free time was their free time. He said it was always like that. He said they retained some sanity after that. He said he used to see Bonzo a lot in his free time. He said it was usually in a pub though. He said he didn't follow anyone's private lives. He said he didn't know anything about it until they started another record. He said they only toured when the kids were in school. He said they didn't have a big production either.
Howard asked when they decided to do a new album. Robert said they would just do it when they needed to. Howard said he has recorded a few songs that were really bad. Robert said he knows how he feels.
Robert said they'd just meet in September and do it. He said he writes things down and he keeps them around. He said he will write down some things about the two he's meeting today. Howard asked if he looked through the book and found the thoughts he wanted to use. Robert said the music is made and they find a groove. He said that's the thing that you can do that lasts for a year. He said that it can be so exotic. He said you can make grooves of tempo and sound and it's very seductive for him. He said he's tried so many melodies.
Howard played some ''Rock and Roll'' and said he heard that Bonzo was trying to play another song that ended up being this one. Robert said that they did write that one on the spot. Robert said that back in those days you recorded in a studio the size of the room they're in now. Robert said they'd all be around and record the songs together. He said they could write a song like that.
Howard said he's read other interviews with Robert and he read about the song ''Stairway to Heaven'' and he heard he was in a bad mood when he wrote it. Robert said no. He said he loves this song and he wasn't in a bad mood. He said he would get confused when he sang the song. Howard asked if he had to use a prompter. Robert said no but he'd get things mixed up.
Howard asked if he went to bed early to make sure he was in good shape to sing. Robert said that you have to do some of the social stuff.
Howard asked about ''I'm in the Mood for a Melody'' which was from his solo career. Robert asked if that's what that was. Howard said he must have had Jimmy laughing at him. Robert said he was between homes and romances and he may not have had a phone at the time. Howard said listen to some of that song. He played it for Robert. Howard said that is a beautiful song. Howard asked if he wrote that on his own. Robert said he didn't. He said the guy who helped him on that album was Phil Collins. He said he played on his first two solo albums. He said that Phil loved John Bonham so much that he wanted to do it. He said Phil is a brilliant drummer. He said that he had just had ''In the Air Tonight'' come out at the time. He said he walked out on stage and gave him a big smackeroonie on the gob and walked off.
Howard asked if Jimmy was pissed when he did the solo album. Robert asked who this guy is on the mic. Robin said he's been waiting to ask this stuff for years. Howard said Plant is his real name and it's great for a rock star. Robert asked if he needs some tissue to wipe himself off with.
Howard asked Robert if his parents got to see his success. Robert said they did. He said they didn't particularly like it.
Howard asked if there's something that he's not telling him about Jimmy. Robert said that there are a lot of relationships that are like marriages. He said that he's been married a few times. Howard asked him what he means by that. Robert said you're either on it or off it. He said you move into different places in life. Howard said Jimmy wants to go out on tour and Robert doesn't want to do it. Howard said he understands that but he wants to know how things are. Robert wasn't talking.
Howard said he's going to move on and play more songs. Howard said the second greatest album is Houses of the Holy. Howard said it's his second favorite Zeppelin album. Howard said Led Zeppelin II is his favorite. Howard played some of ''The Rain Song'' and said that George Harrison said to them that they didn't have a ballad so they wrote this song. Robert said that's news to him. He said he may have said that to Jimmy. He said there was a lot of this in Led Zeppelin.
Howard asked who he's hanging out with these days. He asked if he hangs with Mick Jagger. Robert said he has met him but he doesn't hang out with him. He said that he is another Leo so he has to watch out. Howard asked if he has a woman right now. Robert said not for the next hour and a half at least. Howard asked if he's dating. Robert said he is. Howard asked if he's on Tinder. Robert said you have to have a van with no windows.
Howard said this song is nice. He let it play a little more and said he's waiting for him to come in singing. Robert said he may have to wait a while.
Howard said he's got this new album out and he's putting his ass on the line. Robert said he's not putting his ass on the line. Howard asked who he's working with now. Howard gave him a plug for the album Carry Fire and asked who he's working with. Robert said that he works with a band called the Sensational Space Shifters. He said he has worked with others before who were space shifters. He said they move air around you. Howard said he's still a hippie and he likes that. Howard said he was scared when he cut his hair. Robert said he had a mullet for a while. He said he didn't mean to. Howard asked if he colored his hair. Robert said he looked like Richard Branson for a while. Howard said he's getting a little grey. Robert said just let it go. He said incontinence is right around the corner.
Howard said he's up to pee 2 or 3 times a night. He asked if Robert is dealing with aging. Robert said he doesn't care. Howard said it's great he never lost his hair. Robert said when he does he won't be there.
Howard played a song called May Queen from the new album. Howard said listen to you. He said he's wondering if Jimmy is listening and wishing he was there. Robert asked where Robin found this guy. He asked if he's standing in for someone who knows what they're doing.
Howard asked who decided which song should come out first. Robert said they sit around with an Oujui board and ask for help. He said he wants the opportunity to get music out. He said it's changed since ''I'm in the Mood...'' He said that it's not easy. He said there's a bit of ageism going on too. He said they made some trippy stuff in the mid 2000s. He said it was almost impossible to get it on college stations. He said they'd put it on and then find out who it is and stop playing it.
Howard played ''New World'' from the new album. Howard said it sounds good. Robert said just wait. Howard let it play a little longer. Howard asked if it was a big deal for him to win a Grammy or does he not care. Robert said they got 5 or 6 that night. Howard said they beat out Coldplay and others. Robert said they'll get theirs when he's pushing up daisies. Robert said he hasn't gotten other Grammys so it's about time he got one.
Howard asked if he cared about getting into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Robert said he did because he got to play with Neil Young. He said that was a blast. He said he was better than Neil Young for that moment.
Howard asked if Robert got to play with Jimi Hendrix and people like that. Robert said they would play in clubs and had a lot of big stars playing. He said that Hendrix would be in the middle of it. Howard said he was a phenomenal player. Howard said he died at 27 and that's unthinkable. Howard said he wonders what he'd be doing now. Robert said he certainly wouldn't be doing this shit program.
Robert asked what it takes to get some coffee in there. Howard said they'll get him some. Howard told the guys to get him some coffee. Robert said he would like it black with no sugar.
Howard played another song, ''Bones of Saints,'' off his new album. Howard said this is good too. Howard said the musicians must go out of their minds to play with him. Howard said he got his coffee pretty quick. He said he can get someone in there to blow him too. Robert said he was told they wouldn't talk like this on this program.
Howard asked if he has to whip the musicians into shape for this album. Robert said not at all. He said he is the boss but he's not like that. He said these ideas don't come from him. He said he's just part of it all.
Howard said that Kashmir gets him worked up too. Robin said that they declared it the sexiest song of all time. Howard asked Robert if he has ever had sex to any of the Zeppelin albums. Robert said never. Howard said if he was him he'd play his music and have it on all the time so they know how it is.
Howard said it was an honor to have him in there. Howard said he wants him to come in and dredge up every memory he has about all of his songs. Howard asked if he'll ever write a book. Robert said never. He said it's so good and so funny. Howard said his life must have been great. Robert said it was. He said sometimes it was prematurely great. Howard said he had that problem too. Howard asked things are still working alright. Robert said they are. Howard said he still masturbates. Robert said that it's hard to hear radio from America but he's heard a lot about Howard. He said years ago he was afraid to come in. Howard said he was out of control. Robert said he admires that Howard can do this. Robert said he thinks that he could be absurd and ask stupid questions of people. Howard said do the show and he'll air it and they'll see how it goes.
Robert asked if they do this show like this all the time or does he play records. Howard said he has to do what he does to be successful. Howard said he loves having musicians on. Howard said he may never see him again. He said he means so much to him. Robert said he'll be back in 3 years to promote another album. He said he hates the whoring part of this business. He said he's glad that he met Howard. He asked what he does at night. Howard said he goes to bed at 8 or 9.
Robert said he was wondering if he goes out to clubs or anything. Howard said he never goes out. He said he's afraid to leave the house. He said he knows Robert is out traveling all the time. Howard said he's agoraphobic. He said he's not even sure where they are right now. Robin said he wouldn't be able to find his way there from 2 blocks away.
Robert said he'll take Howard out to a couple of places after this. Howard said he really lived the life. Robert said he was just a lucky guy. Howard said there aren't many people who can sing like him.
Howard said in 1977 he went to see them perform and he had to leave because people were dropping M-80s on the audience. He said he wasn't able to stay for the show. Robert said he remembers that. He said they were cherry bombs. Howard said he thinks he told the crowd to stop but they didn't. Robert said that when they first started playing over there people were laying on the floor and barely able to get up. He said applause was a mysterious thing to them.
Howard asked if he remembers him leaving the show that day. Robert said he may have left before him.
Howard said the money must be huge. Robert said if he wants to get anywhere he has to shut the fuck up. Howard asked if he's talking about the money. Robert said he's talking about saying anything. Howard had to ask him not to walk out on him. He was about to leave. Howard said he really does mean a lot to him. Howard thanked him for all of the music over the years. He said he's getting emotional. He gave him another plug for the album and for his web site RobertPlant.com.
Howard asked Robert if he has anything to leave them with. Robert gave him a snore. Howard thanked him again for coming in. Robert said it was a pleasure to come in and meet the two of them. Howard said Robin is a big fan over there too. Robert said have a good time until they meet again. Howard gave him more plugs and went to break.
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Howard said Robin's cleavage was on full display the whole time. Howard said imagine if she put on a shirt that was totally inappropriate for him. Howard said that would be awesome. Robin said how about no shirt. Howard said he loves that guy. Robin said he was coming on to him so she didn't have a shot.
Howard said he wants him to sit down and tell him about every song. He said there's just not enough time. Howard said he was in there for an hour and a half. Howard said it's just not enough. He said he used to listen to all of their songs. Howard said he hung out with them that way.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up some of the stuff he talked to him about with the Grammys but his phone was noisy so Howard let him go. Howard said they sold 2 or 300 albums with Alison Krauss.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a great interview. He said it wasn't the best because it was a tough cookie to crumble. Howard said that's for him to evaluate. He said he loved sitting with him. The caller asked if he knew he was on the crappiest month of the year, Cocktober. Howard said he didn't mention that once during the interview.
Howard took a call from a guy, Apples, who asked if he's going to go home all charged up and get some from Beth. Howard said she won't notice. Robin read up on Robert Plant and how he missed out on being a knight by one. Robin said he's not a sir. Howard wondered why that is. Robin said that's up to the queen. Howard said that's bullshit. He asked what she knows about it. Fred said he thinks that Jimmy Page got the OBE. Howard said he has to get him back in there.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Robert Plant impression and then his Gary impression.
Howard took a call from the Queen of England who told Howard why Robert Plant isn't an OBE. She told Howard to stop asking his dopey fucking questions. She said Howard has been knighted a fuck head. Robin told Howard more about the OBE thing and what's going on with Jimmy Page.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she could have listened to that interview all day long. She said that she loved that he kept calling Howard ''Dad.'' Howard said he's not sure what was up with that. The caller said it was fantastic to hear that interview. She said she'd love to hear it again.
Howard said he has to do a Jimmy Fallon pre-interview today. He said he has to get out of there on time.
Robin started her news with a story about her friend Simone Dinnerstein being in the paper. Howard said come on. He said she is kind of hot. He said that Robin befriended her and she insists on dropping her name a lot. Robin said she is in the NY Times. She told Howard about what she's been up to. They spent a few minutes on that.
Robin read a story for Cocktober. Robin said Howard asked about penis growth yesterday. Robin asked when your penis grows. Howard said his never did. He said he remembers showing it to Lou and he was like 13. He asked when it was going to happen. He said it didn't. He said it stayed baby size. Howard said nothing got bigger or fuller. Robin said they say that penis growth happens with the onset of puberty. Robin asked if Howard knows when it happened. Howard said he doesn't remember. He said he didn't look down there much. Robin said it can happen from the age of 10 and 14. Howard said he had a cute nose. He said he thinks they mistook his umbilical cord for his penis and cut the wrong thing. Howard said it seems to unfair. Howard said he became a man with a child's penis. Robin said they say you can have a penis that has grown to its full size by 13. Howard said he was full size by 5.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he grew up listening to the same albums Howard was talking about. He said he could listen to that all day and night. He said it was amazing. Howard said he was honored to have him in there. Howard thanked the caller for his service too because he said he was a Marine. Howard spent a little time talking to him about where he served. Howard asked how his penis size is. The caller said he's got no problem in that area. Howard asked how big he is. The caller said he's never measured. He said he's every bit of 7 inches. Howard said Brent used to bang women on stage for the other military people. The caller said he's done that too. He said he got to see the world. Howard asked if he ever killed anyone. The caller said in Somalia they did. He said the rules of engagement were tough so they had to carry a lawyer's number in their pocket just in case.
Howard said Brent is in now. Brent said that some of his squad went to Somalia but he got to stick around because he was about to get out. He told Howard who they fight over there. Howard asked the caller how they can blame the guys for killing if they are told who to kill. The caller said they were on a rescue mission so they had to be careful. He said they took fire as they got off their hovercraft. He said they had training before getting off the ship and they had rubber bullets and things. He said the only time they were allowed to fire was when they were threatened. Brent said they had a ridiculous card with the rules of engagement on it.
Howard said he doesn't get this. He said he's not sure what's going on in the military. The caller, Nick, said this was years ago. Howard said it must be bad now too. Brent said there were a lot of people to deal with over there in Somalia. Howard went into his Vietnam fake stories a little bit. Howard let Nick go a short time later. Brent said that Somalia is nuts. He said things are so crazy over there that there are people in sweat pants and flip flops shooting at you. He said they're just trying to control the resources over there.
Robin got back to her news and asked how many men in America use condoms. Howard said he and Gary do so that's 2. Howard asked Fred how he does it. Fred said his wife is past the point of being fertile. Howard said he's going to say 2. Robin said 1/3 of American men use condoms. Howard said he loves them. Robin said Bill and Melinda Gates are looking at ways of making condoms more pleasurable. Robin said she'd like to know what Howard would like. Howard said he uses them to slow down so he doesn't want them too good. Robin said they are looking into customizing sizes. Howard said he has to put sand in his to fill them out. Howard said he fills them with cement. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Sam Moore coming out with a new album. Robin had some clips for Howard to play but they turned out to be the wrong things. Robin wanted music but they were clips of him talking. Howard asked who they're talking about. Gary said there is one of Sam singing. Howard said he's confused. Howard played Sam's cover of a song and it turns out to be Sam from Sam and Dave. Howard said that's who he thought it was.
Robin read a story about a retailer who was selling an Anne Frank costume for Halloween. Robin said it had one of those tags on it for when you were in a concentration camp. Robin said they say it was a World War II outfit. Robin said she's not sure how she'd know that it was Anne Frank. Howard said that's the most horrible thing to sell. Robin said she's not sure how they didn't put a stop to it in the board room.
Robin read a story about a bill that will stop transgender people from being put in the wrong jails among other things. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard said he's glad he can identify as male. He said it makes things easier on him. He said he'd probably just pretend his whole life if he felt differently. Howard said they were accepting of his cousin but that's because it was his cousin.
Robin read a story about the Harvey Weinstein mess and how they're mentioned in the latest article. Robin said that they were quoted in an article from an interview they did with Harvey. Robin said Alyssa Milano started the hashtag #MeToo and they've gotten about 500,000 posts because of that. Robin said she had a friend who ran into some problems so she wanted to get people to start getting a hint at how pervasive this problem is. Robin said another woman has accused Harvey of trying to harass her. Robin said her manager didn't let her go in alone with Harvey. Howard had Lassie the dog on the phone and asked her about being harassed by Harvey Weinstein. Howard said he's shocked that he had time to make movies with all of this going on. Robin said Reese Witherspoon has come forward saying she was sexually assaulted as a teenager but not by Harvey Weinstein. Howard had Flipper the Dolphin on the phone after that. Howard questioned Flipper for a minute and said they get the idea. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Howard said Harvey is going to have to make a movie about himself. He said he'd lock himself up in rehab for 10 years if he were him. Robin said that Woody Allen was saying that he thought it was sad because he's a sick man and not for any other reason. Howard took a call from Mr. Ed who was neighing about Harvey harassing him.
Robin read a story about the NFL getting ready to have a big conference today between the owners and players unions to talk about the protests and what to do about it. Robin said it's getting to the point that fans are being affected. Robin said they're going to sit down and figure out how to stop the protests. Robin said Trump has been calling for the players to stop the protests. Robin had some clips of him talking about that.
Robin read a story about Trump claiming that other Presidents didn't call families of soldiers killed but he had to come out and apologize for that. Robin had more clips for Howard to play.
Robin read a story about Trump defending his administration's response to what's going on in Puerto Rico while people are dying down there. Robin said he's blaming the problem on them not being able to distribute the stuff they've sent down there. Howard played some audio of Trump trying to pronounce Puerto Rico with an accent.
Robin read a story about President Trump addressing the problems he and Mitch McConnell are having and how they're fighting for the same things.
Robin read a story about Senator John McCain and how he was given the Liberty Medal. Robin had some audio of McCain talking about the nonsense going on with Trump.
Robin read a story about how people are calling on Trump to drop his pick for national drug czar. Robin had some details about that. Gary told Robin he withdrew his nomination this morning. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how making marijuana legal in Colorado has cut the opioid deaths down by a large percentage. Robin said that they're also saying that magic mushrooms are said to help with depression. Robin had some more details on that.
Robin read a story about Apple and how they're looking to get involved in health care. Robin said they may be getting into it. Robin said maybe they'll fix it.
Robin said they have found that many households are filled with microbes and mold spores among other things. Robin read about where this stuff grows and it's all over the house. Howard said just imagine what's in Fred's foreskin. He said he knows there's a big build up in there.
Robin read a story about an update on Demi Lovato and wrapped up her news. Howard ended the show around 11:30am.
Howard started the show talking about Cocktober and how they'll have some cock fun today. He said it's going on all month. He said they have a curtain over there with 4 holes in it. Robin noticed that. Howard said Robin is in for a treat today.
Howard said for years Gary has said that Sal shows his penis so much on the show that he can pick his cock out of a lineup. He said they're going to have a lineup today. He said they're all going to be behind the curtain and they're all hung like Sal. Howard said Gary will try to pick out Sal's cock. Howard said Sal is all angry about the whole thing. He said Sal hates Gary for some reason. Howard said Sal wanted to make a bet with Gary but he's not sure what the bet would be. Howard said they're going to be doing this later in the show.
Sal came in and said he's not angry at Gary. He said he's just a little arrogant and thinks he's Howard Stern Jr. He said he's a Mr. Know-it-all with everything too. Sal said he throws like a ''falidimide'' baby. Howard said he said it wrong. Howard asked him to spell it. Sal said ''pheldamide.'' Howard said don't try to say it if you don't know. He said it's Thalidomide.
Gary said Sal tweeted out a post that said he was the greatest boss ever. Sal said he was drunk when he did that. He said that was the worst thing he's done when he's drunk.
Howard said Sal is going to get behind this curtain and Gary is going to try to guess which one is Sal. Howard asked what he wants to bet Gary. Sal said he should be penalized in some way. Howard asked what he's all upset about. Sal said he's not upset at all. He said he just wants to raise the stakes.
Gary told Sal to tell Howard what he told Jason he wanted to do. Sal said when Gary was going to come over close to him he wanted to piss on him. Howard cracked up laughing. Howard said that's so horrible. He said that would ruin the game. Sal said he'd rather piss on Gary and ruin the game. Howard said that Gary with those teeth would have bitten his cock off. Sal said it would have been like shark week.
Gary said he would have punched him if he did that and he wouldn't care if he got fired. Sal said Gary is a bully. Howard said the studio would be condemned. He said Gary would have ripped that foreskin right off.
Gary said he saved Sal's life once. He said years ago they were out in L.A. and they were with Ron Jeremy and a bunch of people. He said Ron was sitting on some steps and Sal thought it would be funny and stick his balls on Ron's head for no reason. Sal said they were taking a picture. That was the reason. Gary said Ron felt it on his head and turned around saying he would kill him. Sal seemed surprised by that. Howard said Sal is like a little kid.
Sal said it was Ron Jeremy in his defense. Gary said he had to tell Ron that he works with them and calm him down. He said he was going to kill Sal. Howard said Sal doesn't understand what he's doing. Howard said he used the N-word with Chris Rock. Sal said he did that but it was more socially acceptable. Robin said it was never acceptable. Howard said he went up to Chris and said ''How you doing my-nigga.'' Sal said he wasn't doing it in a hateful way.
Gary told Howard about some other things Sal has done wrong there. He once got Ace Freheley's number to try to call him and become friends. Howard said he once told Jon Stewart that he doesn't like his comedy. Howard said he's surprised he hasn't fired him. Gary said he told a chef that his burgers taste like pussy. He explained that was a good thing.
Howard brought up Sal getting caught jerking off at work. Sal said Thom caught him. Howard said he's creepy. He said he should jerk off at home. Sal said he was doing research that day that Thom caught him. Howard said Sal is so out of it he doesn't know when he's doing something wrong.
Sal said in the past he wouldn't have asked Jason if he should piss on Gary. He said now he knows to find out first. Gary said they have a parade of stories coming in. He said Sal used to write bits and write dirty lines for women to read just for his spank bank. Sal said that's not true. He said he would admit that if it was true. He said he wasn't doing it just for himself.
Howard said Sal went up to Russell Simmons and said he's sorry for being a white devil. Sal said he speaks without thinking sometimes. He said shit just shoots out and it's dumb. Howard said he's being like his father. Sal said he's doing better. Sal used the word affable during that discussion and he didn't know what it means. Fred gave him the definition.
Howard said Sal pulled the plug at a super bowl party. He also sent Beth a note to try to help her find something she lost on her computer. Howard said Sal was on Beth fire. Sal said they have made up and they're great now. Howard said he had to uninvite him from his wedding. He said that he's complaining about not getting a birthday email. Sal said that's not true. Howard said he's not sending him a birthday email. Sal said that he's been more than generous to him. He said it does bum him out that he doesn't get birthday email. Sal said he knows other people get them. Howard said he sends a card to Richard. Sal said he's just a little hurt by it.
Howard said he likes Sal a lot. Sal said he loves Howard too. Howard told him to stop sucking his dick. Howard said he used to write down birthdays and in his new calendar he stopped doing that. Howard said he had some people on a list. He said that he isn't out to get Sal. He said it's just enough with the birthday wishes. He said it was getting to be too much. Howard said happy birthday for whenever it is. Sal said it's October 8th. Howard said he's not his dad even though he wants him to be. Sal said no. Howard said he does. He said he needs some help. Sal said he's getting help by meditating. Howard said he needs more help than that. Robin said he still has those stupid thoughts in his head when he comes out of meditation.
Howard said they'll find out if Gary can identify his cock later in the show. Sal said he thinks it's going to be tough. Gary said he has a very distinct cock. He said the end of it looks like chewed gum. He said it's also got a color that he will recognize. Fred played Sal's song ''Shake'' and Sal let out an ''Oh no...'' so he cut it off.
Howard asked Sal what kind of meditation he's doing. Sal said ''Trans-a-dental'' and Howard said you'd think he'd know what it is. Howard told him how to say Transcendental meditation. Sal tried it a bunch of times and eventually got it. Howard told him to get out of there after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who he thinks has learned the least from him over the years Sal or Ronnie. Howard said he thinks that if he goes through the Ronnie stuff it's pretty close. Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said the interesting thing is that the things Sal has to learn. She said they should have been learned by 10 years old. Howard said she's right. Howard said he's surprised he isn't in jail. He said he doesn't understand it.
The caller said Sal doesn't know things are wrong until people tell him they're wrong. He said Sal still doesn't know why things are wrong. Howard said Ronnie is missing some sort of something. Robin said she thinks that Sal is worse than Ronnie. She said they're still untapping what Sal doesn't know. Howard said Ronnie will just scream though. He said it's very confusing. He said Sal Vs. Ronnie is a good one. Howard thanked the caller for that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thinks it's a cultural thing and Sal is just being Sal. Howard said no one is like Sal. The caller said she gets herself in rouble all the time and she's Italian too. Howard let her go after that. Howard said he thinks that woman was just insulting all Italians.
Gary asked if it's Hitler Ascent. Howard said that's it. Howard talked about what he's learned from the book and how he was a goof until people started voting for him. Howard said it's over 1000 pages long. Howard said it's a long book.
Howard said he is curious about life and learning and he's thinking maybe the schools he went to are the reason for his lack of education. He said his parents knew nothing and he knew nothing. He said maybe he had shitty teachers. He said no one wanted to teach in his school. He said he was behind by the time he got to a good school. He said he's going to say he's not an idiot. He'll just blame everyone else. Robin said it's just ignorance. Howard said that makes him feel better.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Gary impression and talking about Sal's penis. Howard asked if he thinks he can do it. Sour Gary was talking about how many times he's seen Sal's cock. He was talking about the old days at K-Rock and things like that so Howard said he has a tremendous memory. Sour Gary said if Sal peed on him he'd just have to grin and bare it. He let Sour go a short time later.
Howard said he was up at 3 in the morning. He said he watched Jimmy Kimmel's show to prepare to go on it. He said he hates even doing that. He said he had a pre-interview yesterday. He said that he called some guy and he was asking about Robert Plant and things like that. Howard said he told the guy to listen and told him what he was going to talk about. Howard said he was a great audience. Howard said Gary was in there with him. Gary said the guy was laughing so much he had to wait for him to stop. Howard said he wishes the pre-interviewer was hosting the show. Howard said when you go on the shows there's an audience there and he hates that. Howard said he despises having an audience there. Howard said sitting there and entertaining people isn't his thing. Howard said he likes doing the interview thing but not with people watching.
Howard said he got up at 3 and put Letterman on with Jimmy. He said he loves Letterman. He said he was great with Jimmy. He said he thinks Jimmy came in his pants 17 times. He said he's so into Letterman it's unbelievable. Howard said it was a lot of fun. He said at the end he said he could die and go to heaven. Howard said he said that it doesn't get better than this. Howard said that made him wonder why he's going on the show. Howard said he loves Jimmy and his wife so he's going on the show.
Howard said Will, Jason and Gary were all listening in during the pre-interview. Howard said he told stories and he doesn't remember what he even talked about. He said he was talking off the top of his head.
Gary said the phone call ended and he talked to the guys for 40 seconds and Howard said he didn't remember what he just talked about. Howard said he doesn't have a good memory. Robin said that's a good thing. Howard said it is because he doesn't do the same thing every day.
Howard said Will took notes but he's not going to use notes. Will came in and said he'll send him the notes if he wants. Howard said he would like that. Howard took a call from a guy in the back who was doing Kimmel's pre-interviewer and laughing at nothing.
Howard said Jimmy told him he didn't have to do the show if he didn't want to. Howard said if he really wanted that he wouldn't have asked him to do it. Robin said he really wanted him to say yes so that's why he did it the way he did.
Howard thanked Will for taking notes. Will said he liked that Howard asked why they can't just have a conversation. Howard said that's what he wants to do. Howard said they do pre-interview people there but not really. Robin said they do research. Will said Howard does 4-5 hours a day so that's all they need to know about Howard. He said Jimmy probably knows him better than anyone. Howard said he's going to go on and do the show today and it's going to be a long day. Howard said he's going to do good with Jimmy.
Howard said he has a bunch of stuff he has to do today. He said he's doing the show in Brooklyn. Howard asked who the fuck wants to go to Brooklyn? Howard said do it in Manhattan so it's convenient. Howard said Jimmy thinks he's from Brooklyn but he's from Las Vegas. Howard said Jimmy is a carpet bagger. He said he's from wherever he has to go. Howard said it's like him claiming he's from Detroit. He worked there for 9 months. Howard said that was the most miserable 9 months. He said the people were nice but it just wasn't a good radio scene. He said everything sucked.
Howard said Jimmy does a good show so it'll be good. Howard said he's going to talk about the Dancing with the Stars betting with him on his show. Howard said Jimmy is costing him money. He said he's betting with Jimmy.
The caller said that her husband was hooking up with men about 4 years ago. She said that she left him after that. Then she got back with him and now the woman he's with doesn't know this. Howard asked what she's asking. The caller said she's wondering if she should tell the husband of the woman she's cheating with. Howard said he's fucking dudes on the side too. Howard was going through the story and figured that it's best not to tell the woman. Robin said she's asking about telling the husband. Howard said Sally's husband is cheating and it's not her place to tell anyone. Howard said that he's going to say no for both. Howard said it's the guy's problem and the other woman's problem. Howard said this woman knows that he's a cheater. Howard said the answer is no.
Howard said now she has one less thing to do today. Robin said that's no fun. Howard said that's his advice. Howard said he thinks Sally is going to make that call though. Sally said she hasn't yet. Robin asked if it's a bad thing. Howard said it could open up bad things. Howard said Sally isn't responsible for the husband's behavior. Howard said the other woman knows the guy is a cheater. Howard said Sally shouldn't do it.
Howard asked Sally if she knows he's blowing guys. Sally said he is. She said he has said he likes the taste of cum. Howard asked if he's taking it in the ass. She said she doesn't know. Howard asked if he wears women's clothing. Sally said he has offered to with guys he's texted with. Howard said he's sorry she's going through this because it's a pain in the ass.
Howard asked Sally if she's hot. She said sometimes she is. Howard asked if she's over weight. She said she is a little bit. She said she's not sure how much she weighs. Howard said no one knows who she is. Robin asked what this has to do with anything. Howard said he's trying to do a show over here. Howard gave up on Sally when she hesitated at answering questions. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said this cock event is a big one. Howard said Gary has been saying for years that he could pick Sal's cock out of a lineup. Robin said the other day when the guys were in there with George she noticed that some of the staff try as hard as they can not to see cock. Howard said JD does that. He said he stares away. JD was in there and said you try to be respectful of everyone. Howard said he just looks. Robin said it's just there. Howard said a lot of the guys aren't paying attention. He said they want to be super heterosexual. Howard said he's not threatened by cock so he doesn't mind looking. Howard said JD responds to cock like a salad. He won't even look at it.
Howard said Ronnie was looking at the cock. Ronnie said he was watching what the guys were doing. Howard said some of the guys act like they're gay. Howard asked JD if he's going to look. JD said he's going to make sure the microphone is in their face. JD said he has no problem looking at cock. Howard said he won't turn gay just looking. Robin asked Fred if he looks. Fred said he doesn't stare at it.
Howard had Mariann from Brooklyn singing ''Rock around the Cock.'' He played that clip and Mariann was on the phone so he took the call. Mariann said that she wrote a note to Jimmy about his Letterman interview and she said that Letterman doesn't have the fans like Howard does. Howard said he's not as good as Letterman from what he saw. Mariann was still screaming. Howard told her to calm down. Mariann was screaming at the top of her lungs. Howard wasn't able to ask her a question. Howard kept her on the line and asked who is coming to the show beside herself. Mariann said it's Jim from Raleigh who is taking a 12 hour train ride. She said High Pitch Erik will be there too. Howard asked who Jim is. Mariann said he calls in all the time. Howard said he's coming too. Howard asked who else. Medicated Pete, Fred the Elephant Boy will be there and he's going to keep his separated from High Pitch Erik. Howard said Fred and Erik are fighting again.
Howard took a call from AnneMarie who said she's obsessed with Mariann. It was a woman yelling like Mariann and saying she hates Howard. Howard asked if she's coming to Kimmel. She said she is and she's going to meet Mariann. Howard asked if she ever sings about Mariann. AnneMarie said she does. She was screaming like Mariann. Mariann was trying to talk to Howard over AnneMarie. Howard just let out a ''wow'' while they were talking over each other. Howard said they had the annoying factor in stereo.
Howard had Sour Shoes back on the line doing his George Takei impression. Sour George was talking about how much he loves cock and how he could pick out Walter Koenig's big throbbing penis from a mile away in a line up.
Howard said Gary has said he can pick out Sal's cock out of a lineup. Howard said he's bragged about it for years. Howard said they're going to put that to a test now. Howard said they're going to have 4 cocks poking out of a curtain now. He said they have them numbered 1-4. Howard said one of the cocks will be Sal's. He asked if Gary will be able to identity that cock. Robin asked if he will pee on Gary. Howard said no because that's against the rules of the FCC.
Howard asked Robin if she thinks Gary can do it. Robin said she thinks it will be difficult. Robin said she thinks she could pick out Sal's cock but she's not sure about the 4. Howard said he can send her out of the room if she wants to play with Gary. Robin said she has a picture of Sal's cock in her head. Howard said they'll be isolating that clip for later in the show.
Robin said she can just sit there and close her eyes while the guys come in. Howard said she's in the spirit of the whole thing. Howard played a song for this Cocktober event.
Howard said they're going to meet the cocks now. Howard said they sent Falcon Studios pictures of Sal's cock to find similar looking cocks. Howard said he's going to introduce Sky Knox now. He said he's a porn star on the rise. Howard said he's really in good shape. Howard asked how often he's in the gym. Sky said it's 6 days a week. Howard said it's smart to be in good shape like that. Howard played a clip from one of his movies. Howard asked what was going on there. Sky said he might have been taking two cocks in that one. Howard said he's uncircumcised and he might have a cock that looks like Sal's. Sky said he did take a peek at Sal's. Howard asked to see his. Howard took a look and said it should be a good contest.
Howard moved on to the next cock, Gabriel Cross. Howard said he's 34 and he looks very young. Howard asked if he plays young boys. Gabriel said he does. Howard played a clip from one of his films where he was getting tag teamed. Howard said someone is smacking him in that. Gabriel said that's just a general pounding. Howard asked if he lubes up for a scene like that. Gabriel said it's just spit. He said he uses an enema on the day of the shoot. Howard asked if he's ever had doody come out. Gabriel laughed. Howard asked to see his cock. He said he can see why he thinks that he looks like Sal. Howard had him get ready behind the curtain.
Howard said he's bringing out Fernando Del Rio next. Howard asked how long he's been in the business. Fernando said 3 years. He said a friend got him into it. Howard asked if he's meeting a lot of nice guys. He said he is. He said that sometimes they're inappropriate with him but that's fun. Howard played a clip from one of his films where he was a bottom. Howard asked if anyone gets to be a top. Gabriel said he likes being a bottom. Howard asked if he uses an enema the day of. Gabriel said he does. He said sometimes ass juice comes out though. Howard said he hears Gabriel in the clip. He said he's the one moaning. He was blowing a guy and taking it in the ass at the same time. Howard asked some questions about the shoot and played more audio of him in his film.
Howard asked JD what he's laughing at. JD said it's just funny. Howard said all JD is doing is going home and watching TV while this guy is taking it in the ass. Howard asked to see Fernando's cock. He saw it and said it does look like Sal's.
Howard said he's going to bring in Sal Governale next. Howard said they have similar cocks to Sal's. Sal said he feels bad for them. Howard asked if he thinks that Gary and Robin will be able to pick it out. Sal said it's going to be a lot harder than he thought. Howard said Sal isn't a big guy. He said that these guys aren't that big either. Howard said Sal is going to go back there and stick his cock out. Howard said he doesn't even want to know which one it is. He said he's going to try to play the game too. Howard said Gary has been saying for years he can pick it out.
Howard said Robin's eyes were covered while he spoke to the guys. Howard said he has to tell you that it's going to be very exciting. Howard said it's time for Gary to come in. Howard had him come in and Gary was dressed like Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass and all. Howard said that they have a curtain there and they have cut a hole for the guys to stick their cocks through.
Howard had the guys stick their cocks through the curtain. They all did it and Gary said he almost doesn't need to do anything. Robin said she knows which one it is. Gary went over to number 1 and it was huge. Gary went to number 2 and it was shorter. Gary said that it doesn't have the darkness or the chewed gum look. He said that Sal is number 3. He said number 4 looks like a guy's finger. He said number 4 is the closest to fooling him. Gary said the first one is so big that there's no way it's Sal. Robin said that she could even tell Sal's balls. Howard said they could have played that. Howard asked Gary if he's locking in on number 3. Gary did that and so did Robin. Howard said number 1 is like a door knocker. Howard said he's got a big cock. Howard said number 3 is so obviously Sal. He said he has to tell you that there is nothing funnier than looking at a curtain with 4 penises hanging through it.
Howard asked the guys to drop the curtain and it was Sal at number 3. Howard said it was so obvious. Sal said he's so bummed out. Howard thanked the guys for participating. Howard said Sal he thanks too. Howard said Sky, Gabriel and Fernando did a great job but they know Sal's cock quite well. Howard said they have seen it at least 50-60 times. Sal said it's a unique cock. Robin said they're very lucky not to look like Sal. Howard asked the guys if they would fuck Sal in the ass. They said they could tag team him. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and asked who that is. Fred said it's Lorde. Howard asked what she's up to. Robin said she's still around. Howard asked who this woman Cardi B is. JD said she's a rapper and a singer. Howard said he heard it was going to be Arnold Schwarzenegger. Howard said maybe he was booked and had to unbook. Howard said Cardi is in the top 5. Howard played her song ''Bodak Yellow.'' Howard said he has Underdog singing that song too. He played the clip with Rachel Butera doing her Underdog impression.
Howard asked JD if he likes her. JD said she's hot but she has a lot of energy. He said she has a nice ass too. Howard said JD likes chicks with a big ass. Howard said JD is into the black thing. Robin said he likes anyone with a big ass. Howard asked JD if he's been with a black woman. JD said no. He said just lap dances at a strip club.
Howard said there's always one guy at the strip club who goes with the black stripper. JD said not all the time. He said he doesn't turn them down. Howard asked if Cardi B's boobs are real. Fred said they have to be mail order. Howard said she's a very nice looking woman.
Howard said he gets intimidated when it's a posse of people. He said it's kind of intimidating. Howard said he's not even sure who the main person is. Howard said he doesn't know who Cardi B is so he'll steer clear. Howard said that's quite an outfit she's wearing in the picture he's looking at. Robin asked why wear anything after seeing it. Fred said she may have buttock augmentation.
Howard said imagine Robin shows up in that outfit. Robin said he could charge her with sexual harassment. Howard said there you go.
Howard said Robin brought up Simone Dinnerstein yesterday. Howard said Robin has a buddy who is a concert pianist. Howard said she mentions her a lot. Robin said she hasn't mentioned her in a long time except in the past couple of weeks. Howard said there is now a song parody with Daniel Mendelson singing over Simone's piano playing. Howard played that for Robin. Daniel was singing about Robin's enormous boobs over the piano. Howard said that was to Robin's buddy Simone Dinnerstein who he's learned way too much about.
Howard said he's going to stab them. Howard said that's like his ''Hey now!'' Howard said he just needs a phone screener. Howard said he's on the computer doing that. He said that he's got more tech than they do there. Howard said Erik can do it no problem.
Howard said Shuli was cracking him up yesterday with his impression of Erik smoking weed and coughing. Howard played a clip of Erik smoking and coughing. His cough is really deep compared to his usual voice. Howard laughed as he listened to him coughing. Howard said he could listen to that all day. Robin said it is interesting that it gets so deep. Howard said Shuli does the impression much better. Howard asked Shuli to come in and do the impression to see if he still laughs.
Shuli came in and did the impression for him. Howard played the clip for Shuli. Shuli said he smoked with Erik years ago and he called him saying that he was so high and his head felt like it was 100 pounds. Shuli said that it is 100 pounds. He said Erik ended up running water over his head and ordered baby back ribs.
Shuli did his Erik impression where he talks in the high voice and then it gets really deep when he starts coughing. Howard said that fucking kills him. He said he sounds like a horse vomiting. Howard said his whole voice changes. Howard said don't make him laugh too much.
Shuli did more of the impression and Howard said if he did that the rest of his life he'd be a god. Howard said he loves when that voice gets deep.
Howard said maybe he should play the Underdog report. He said this is kind of relevant. Howard said Shuli called Underdog and talked to her about a few things. Howard said Underdog fell out of bed. Howard played a clip of her doing that while she was on the phone with Shuli. She was talking to him and let out some moans. She fell and said she's alright but kept whining.
Howard said that sounded pretty traumatic. He said he loves her. Howard said he loves High Pitch Erik, Beetlejuice and then he hears Underdog and loves her. Howard said Medicated Pete can come in and you love him. He said there is no favorite.
Howard said that Shuli asked how it was after the fall out of bed and Underdog didn't remember falling out of bed. Underdog said she hurt her knee at work but didn't remember falling out of bed the week before. Shuli reminded her about it and she remembered it. Shuli asked if she was okay. Underdog said she is.
Howard said she's like an NFL player who has gotten hit in the head too many times. Howard said she doesn't remember. Howard said she loves cats and she had a cat bite her and got sick from that.
Howard said Shuli talked to Underdog about Jimmy Kimmel coming to Brooklyn and maybe she should perform there. Howard said Jimmy doesn't want that. Shuli said she's dying to get back on Kimmel. Howard played a clip of Shuli asking if she has more costumes that she could wear. Shuli said she has some ghost costume she could wear. She was telling Shuli about that. Howard said she should just bring her on Kimmel with him.
Howard said that Shuli is being mean to Underdog. He said there is no way she's going to be asked to be on his show. Shuli said that he didn't say no when he was in there. Howard said he loves it. He said Underdog suggested doing a dance to Beethoven. Howard played a clip of her talking about that with Shuli.
Shuli said that he asked her to go to the show with him to just be in the audience but she said if she's not performing, she's not going. Howard said Shuli suggested that she do Dracula for Jimmy but she got flummoxed because it's a long performance. Howard played that clip and Underdog said she lost her tapes with the music on it. She said she has it on compact disc but it's a 24 minute long dance. Shuli said they'd have to do a shorter version.
Howard said she's tougher to deal with than Mariah Carey. Howard said maybe she can go out with Cardi B. Shuli said when they get Howard 360 they should do the 24 minute dance. Howard said it's better in small doses with Suzanne.
Howard said he would rather see 24 minutes of the Dracula dance than a Grateful Dead show. Howard said Underdog hasn't nailed down if she's going to be there at Kimmel but she's already worried about the train ride. Howard played a clip of her talking about how she'd get there. Shuli told her he'd go with her. Howard said they'd send a car for her if she was booked. Howard said she wouldn't have to worry about it. Howard said planning a heist is less complicated than this.
Howard said Shuli eventually pitched the idea for her to be a guest announcer for Kimmel. She didn't go for that. Howard played the clip and Underdog said she's not sure it would be worth going all the way up there for that. She said she's afraid not. Howard said he's shocked by that. Howard said just to get on TV you'd do it. Robin said not her. She said that it has to be in the right way.
Howard said she has more dignity than Ronnie. He said she turns things down. Howard asked when that Adam Sandler movie is coming out with Ronnie in it. Shuli said he thinks Ronnie is still pissed at him for bringing it up on the air. He said he spoke to one of the actors in the scene with Ronnie and he confirmed that he fucked it up. He said that even Buscemi said something to him. Howard said Ronnie has one line and Steve Buscemi has to correct him. Robin said the one thing an actor is supposed to do is listen. Howard said they got so annoyed with Ronnie that they told him to get his shit together.
Howard said they asked Ronnie what he plays and he didn't know. That led to Fred doing his impression of Ronnie talking about that. Howard had a clip of the actor saying that Ronnie fucked it up. It was Gary Pastore who told Shuli that Ronnie fucked up by stepping on his line. Gary told Shuli that it was at least 5 takes. He said that they were thinking about taking his line out.
Howard said he hasn't played that clip before. He said that's an exclusive. Howard said that guy said Ronnie fucked up his line. Howard said Ronnie shouldn't be mad at Shuli. He said these guys are all saying that he fucked up a lot. He said Shuli was downplaying it. Howard said Adam Sandler has the reputation of being the nicest guy and he had to go over and yell at Ronnie. Howard said he has to wait for the actor to finish his line and then get it in. Robin said that they weren't able to cut around Ronnie. He was stepping on lines. Robin said that Ronnie thinks he did fine. Howard said Ronnie thinks that Shuli exaggerates. Howard said they got the scene right 3 hours later.
Howard got back to Underdog and said that Shuli told her about getting a vasectomy and she had no idea what he was talking about. She knows nothing about that kind of thing. She also told Shuli about being knocked out at the dentist. Howard said he'll play that first. Howard played the clip and Underdog talked about being put to sleep to get some realignment done. She said she doesn't want to feel anything so she has to be knocked out. She said Novocaine isn't enough for her. She said she tried nitrous oxide once but she didn't like the smell. She said she felt like she was in a lethal gas chamber. Howard said Underdog might be the only Wack Packer who goes to the dentist.
Howard played a clip of Shuli talking about his vasectomy and explaining to Underdog what it is. She had no idea what it was. Shuli explained it and she said ''Oh my...'' She said that she has an art project for his kids to do on Saturday. She just got right out of that conversation.
Howard said that John McCain was speaking the other day and he almost said ''Ass Chreaks'' like Ronnie. Howard played the clip and it was close but not quite what Ronnie said. Howard said he met John and he loves that guy. He said he was at a party and he met him there. He said he got to shake his hand and tell him what a hero he is. Howard said he talked to him about the days when they were in Vietnam and how different things are now.
Howard said Trump and McCain are battling lately and he would advise Trump not to get involved with that.
Howard said he has a sex toy review from Ronnie coming up. Howard took a call from a guy who said it's an honor to be in the 103rd with Howard Stern. Howard said he has no idea what the fuck he's talking about. Robin said he was trying to say he was in Vietnam with him. Howard said oh yeah. The caller was telling a story about being in the service and he's about to be deployed. Howard said he hopes he's not lying. He said he hates stolen valor. Howard asked where he's going. The caller said he's going to Afghanistan. He said it's his fourth time going. Howard said he goes 3 times under protest. Howard asked how long he's been in the military. The caller said 7 years. He said he goes to therapy 3-4 times a week and that takes care of things.
Howard asked what the guy does in the military. The caller explained what he does. Howard asked if he's coordinating with them. The caller said he does that.
Howard asked where he beats off over there. Howard said the guys over there are young and they have to beat off. Howard said you get so familiar with people that you ignore it. The caller said that they're pretty discrete. He said that they may do it in the port-a-John. He said that he was with his wife last time he was deployed. He said he had to sneak off to his wife's room to do that. Howard said he knows a guy who has been over there and he just beats off. He said that it's like 120 degrees. He said the sand over there is 20 percent cum.
Howard wished the caller, David, luck over there. Shuli said he knows a guy who didn't have to go back but he wanted to because he missed his brothers. He asked David if that's his case. David said no. Howard said some guys love it and need the adrenaline rush. Howard said he knew a guy like that who loved it. Howard said thank god for guys like that. Howard wrapped up with David and let him go a short time later.
Howard had a picture of this thing and showed it to the guys. Howard and the guys said it's gross. Howard said they sent him home with a whole box of stuff to try out.
Bobo said he was in the military. Shuli told him to tell Howard what he did. Bobo said he did cooking in the kitchen and stuff. He was supposed to do teletype. He said he did serve the country. Shuli added ''and the soldiers.'' Howard said he certainly did serve. Gary said that they send the lowest scoring testers to cook. Bobo said he did serve though. Howard said the guy cleaning the latrine is lower than that.
Howard had Brent come in to talk about that. Shuli said he has audio of Brent working with his headphones on. He said it sounds like porn playing but it's actually Brent moaning while he's working. Brent said during the day he talks to himself. He said when he's working he just has a conversation going on and he mumbles. Howard had some audio of Brent making sounds that were like a whale. Howard said he's a weirdo.
Howard said he thinks about hanging out with Brent and then he hears this. Howard asked what he was moaning about. He said he just talks to himself in his head and that's what comes out. Robin said everyone talks in their head but that doesn't come out. Howard did an impression of him moaning. Brent said he was writing a report and some of the stuff he was writing was ridiculous.
Howard asked about Bobo being a cook and if that means he's stupid. Brent said they give a test when you join and if you score low then they send you to be a cook. He said in the army you have to score a 22 percent. Bobo said he went to the Army and they scared him when they told him he could come home in a box. He said his number was called and he got number 24 in the draft. Howard said he thought he was going to say it was 24 in the test. Howard said they know there used to be a lottery. Bobo said when they called his number he freaked out. Howard asked what his test score was. Bobo said he was just glad he passed the test.
Howard said Bobo is so stupid that they didn't want him shooting guns. Shuli said he thinks they just handed him a spatula and apron instead of telling him the score of the test. Bobo said he got an honorable discharge. Robin asked why it was medical.
Shuli reminded Howard that a couple of years ago Bobo was freaking out that ISIS was going to come after him because he was in the military. Like they're going to come after a cook. Robin said even Bobo can do well in this country. She said that's why this country is so great.
Bobo said he thinks his IQ would be higher now if he was tested. He said he made six figures doing what he did. He said he was the top instructor in the nation. Robin said they know that. They've heard it before.
Bobo said he was supposed to be in teletype but he never made it there. Brent said the real story is that he wasn't able to graduate to that job so he was left to cook. Howard asked if there's a pecking order for the cooks. Brent said there is. He said he could have been the lowest guy in the kitchen. Howard asked what Bobo's job was in the kitchen. Bobo said he made burgers and stuff like that. He said they made all that stuff.
Howard said he at least got to cook something. Robin said he didn't have a brain that could do much else so he had to do this. Howard said it's all important. Brent agreed. Bobo asked how many people ran away and didn't serve.
Howard asked if he ever got to carry a gun. Bobo said he got to clean M-16s. He said he didn't carry a weapon. Brent said that they don't give weapons to some guys. He said they used to put the blue grenade pins in people's helmets to show how stupid guys were. He said that the dumber you were the more pins you'd have. Bobo asked if the guns he was cleaning were real. Brent said they don't weigh that much.
Howard said on the web they say that the only position lower than cook was a fabric laundry technician. Brent said all they had to do was load the bags. Howard said Steven Seagal was a green beret type and he went down to cooking because he got bored. Bobo said he thanks god he still had his hair back then. Shuli said he still has his hair when he gets it in the mail.
Howard said he didn't know there was a test where they put you in a kitchen. Bobo said he was happy he got into the National Guard and only had to sign for 6 years. Howard said this is so boring. Bobo said he thought he was genius. Brent said back then if you were in the National Guard you got to stay at home. Howard goofed on Bobo doing an impression of him working in the kitchen. Brent said he thinks that Bobo's dad was told that his son is an idiot so they're not going to send him over seas. Bobo said when you're a young kid and you're faced with that then you don't want to go. Shuli said he was 18. Bobo said he took the 6 year deal. Howard asked what that is. Bobo said you go away every summer and go train on the weekends. He said then you get deployed in your state. Howard said he zones out when he talks. Howard said when Bobo explains stuff he's boring. Howard said Brent can explain it and it's not boring.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the reason Bobo's dad was there is because it was Bobo and he wanted him to go off to Vietnam. The caller said his dad should take him to North Korea right now.
Howard said that he has to thank Bobo for his service. Bobo said he has to say one more thing. He said this ''King Jong Un'' is freaking him out. He said when he was in school they had to put hoods on their heads when the cold war was going on. He said it was like child abuse. He was telling the story but the guys were all goofing on Bobo doing impressions of him talking about this stuff.
Howard said he has to go. He thanked Bobo for his food service. Howard asked what they were talking about before Bobo called in. They were talking about Bobo's score on his test and how he ended up as a cook. Brent said he thinks he missed one question on the test. He said when you work on helicopters you have to know what you're doing. Robin said there's a lot of important things to do.
Howard said he heard that Brent can't whisper. Brent said he can't. He said he used to have to pick up calls and he can't whisper. Howard said he doesn't care.
Howard said he has said on the air before that Brent's greatest dream is to make a citizen's arrest. Howard said he talked to someone else about that. Brent said it was Miley Cyrus. Howard said another woman said the same thing to him. Howard said he has another episode of Citizen Hatley. He said he saw some guy smoking outside and tried to make a citizen's arrest. Howard played the clip and Brent was out telling this guy not to be smoking in front of this building. Brent said he might do a citizen's arrest. The guy didn't care and told him to get the fuck away from him. Brent kept going with him but the guy wished him luck and didn't move. They played a Bobo song parody after that. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said that George recorded a bunch of things for them. He said there's nothing he won't read. He said he has some out takes of George recording. Howard the guys asked where they are. Gary said they're on the Cocktober page. Howard said he can't believe he has a Cocktober page. Howard had a clip of George trying to say Viva La Penis. Howard said he corrected the pronunciation. Howard said he's off his rocker. He said he loves that guy.
Howard said here's George commenting and correcting the script they gave him. Howard played the clip and George was laughing at what they wrote for him. George said nothing has changed there. He was correcting some of the stuff they wrote. Howard said he's so literal. Robin said he's glad he's considering the script.
Howard said he has a montage of George laughing. He had George chuckling to himself after reading some of the lines they had for him. Howard said he loves George. He said they only had him for a day this week. Howard said they love it when he's in for the full week.
Howard had a montage of George clearing his throat before reading. Howard said he comes up with those great announces after that. Howard played one of George talking about how even he and Brad think Cocktober is too gay.
Howard said he knew to watch Spider-Man without her. Howard said he likes the kid who is playing the new Spider-Man. Howard said the movie was pretty good. He said he likes Wonder Woman too. Robin said she liked that too. Howard said she seemed to have avoided Harvey Weinstein. Robin said she managed to do that. Robin said she just got picked to do another movie. Howard said she's going to be in a Justice League movie. Howard said his problem is that he likes male super heroes better. Howard said he likes to fantasize that he's a super hero and he could get girls. Howard said that's the whole deal. Robin said he's not the only one who goes to the movies. Howard said the whole thing is that he's Spider-Man and all the girls are into him. He said that's what it is for him.
Robin asked what about wonder Woman picking him to be her guy. Howard said he's got enough embarrassment. Howard said Beth could probably beat him up. He said she can probably bench press more than him. He said Beth is the one who knows what to do when something goes wrong. He said she saved their dog when he didn't know what to do when it fell in the pool.
Howard said Beth once fell down a flight of steps and broke her ankle and she barely made a peep. He said she was back in heels a couple of weeks later. Howard said she didn't care about the pain.
Howard said the woman who plays Wonder Woman is hot. He said she was great on Saturday Night Live too. Howard said some countries won't play the movie because she's Israeli and other countries hate the Jews.
Howard said what he's going to do is give Adam a game to play. He talked more to Adam but said he might be too annoying to play the game. Howard said he'll give it a try. Howard said this is going to be a Wendy Place the Face Game. Howard said that Adam will be playing for $500 cash and a $250 Untuckit gift card.
Howard said the way the game is played is where they show Wendy the Slow Adult a picture and ask if she can identify it. Howard said they showed her a picture of Barney the dinosaur. He asked Adam if he thinks she will get it. He said yes. Wendy did know Barney.
Howard said they showed Wendy a picture of Elvis Presley. He asked Adam if he thinks she'll get that one. Adam said yes. Howard played Wendy's answer which was ''Elvis.''
Howard said they showed Wendy a picture of Betty Boop. Howard asked if Adam thinks she'll get that one. Adam said yes. Howard played her answer and Wendy said ''Betty Boop'' which is her mom's favorite character.
Howard said they showed Wendy a picture of Benjamin Franklin. Adam said no way she'll get that one. Howard played Wendy's answer which was ''That guy off the 100 dollar bill. John F. Kennedy.'' Howard said Adam has won the prize. Howard said he was trying to extend the game. Howard said he has to get rid of Adam anyway. He said he won $500. He said this guy was saying he can do other voices. Howard said he's Rich Little Talent. Adam did one more voice which was Jesse Ventura. Howard asked him to never call in again and put him on hold for his prize. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard came back and took a call from a guy who said he was calling to share in the spirit of Cocktober. He said he has a monster cock story. He said in 2009 his fiancee saw something weird on his shaft and it was like a little scab. It turned out to be a type of cancer. He said he had to have surgery and they had to remove an inch forward of the area. He said they had to remove and inch backward and they put it all back together and now they call him stumpy. He said he has 5 inches left. He said he had 7 1/4''. Howard said that's what he should tell people. He said he can use that as an excuse. Howard said he should be happy he had 7 and now he has 5. Howard said he would kill for 5 inches. Howard said that's a horrible story.
Howard asked Robin if she's ever heard of a scab being cancer. Robin said that's how you find it. Howard said his partner would never notice because he never lets his partner see his penis. Howard said she'd never be able to pick it out of a lineup. Howard asked the caller, Jose, if his girl stuck with him. Jose said she did stick with him. He said the first erection after the surgery was the best. He said it looks like Frankenstein's neck. Howard said that's great that they were able to do the surgery and put it back together. Howard said the scabs he gets are from rubbing it too hard while watching YouPorn.
Howard said he thinks they have a new sounder for George. Fred was playing George saying ''Viva La Penis'' in the French way.
Howard took a call from a guy who claimed he was his counselor in Camp Welmet. He said that he got his first cigarette from him. Howard said he never did that. The caller said he'd never forget that. He also said he met Robin at Dr. Roni's place. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard said he ran a tight ship when he was a camp counselor. He said he'd never do something like that. He said he was a by the rules kind of guy. Robin said he only breaks the rules at work. Howard said in his personal life he follows all rules.
Robin said when the whole Harvey Weinstein thing broke she thought to herself that's what people think Howard is. Howard said that's right. Howard said he has to get to the news because he has a full schedule today.
Robin started her news with a story about a festival of the penis in Japan every April. Robin said it's based on some mythology about a woman who had two lovers and a third guy came and cut off the cocks of the lovers. She had to have a phallus created after that. Robin said they walk around with 3 big penises. Howard said he's never going to Japan.
Robin said she just discovered something called the Penis Fish. Robin said she's not sure if Howard has ever heard of this. Howard said it has a lot of mercury in it. Robin said it can be a family of catfish that can enter the urethra. Howard ended up doing his George Takei impression talking about that. Howard had Lee Kingsnatch on the phone to talk about the penis festival. He was eating a penis pop and talking about meeting a guy over there named Long Dong Sucka.
Robin asked Howard if he knows why a penis is called a cock. Howard said he thinks it would have to do with a male chicken as a cock. Robin said it's a rooster. Howard said they call it a cock. He said he doesn't know. Robin said that is one of the things people surmise. Robin said they also say there's a term in British slang called Pilcock which means idiot. She said it could have come from either of those places. Howard said Robin is full of penis information.
Howard said they got a lot of great feedback about Robert Plant on the show. Howard read through some of the mail they got about that interview. Howard talked about how thrilling it was for him too.
Howard said they also had a lot of feedback about Name that Splooge on yesterday's show. Howard read that mail and also had a negative reaction to the Robert Plant interview. He joked it was from Jimmy Page. Howard said someone was asking for more Medicated Pete on the show too. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Tom Joyner the DJ who used to fly between Dallas and Chicago to do shows. Howard said they had to show him that he could do it from one location. Robin said that he finally realized that. Robin said Tom has announced he signed a 2 year contract and that's the end for him. Robin said he's still doing two shows but he's done after 2 more years. Howard asked if he's still flying back and forth. Robin said he's not but he did that for 8 years. Howard asked how old he is. Robin said his age isn't there but they say he's been doing it for 25 years. Howard read he's 67. Howard said that's about the right time. Howard said it's enough. Howard said he probably made a bunch of dough and he wants to hang out. Howard said he likes these guys who retire and have a heart attack 2 weeks later. Howard said that will be his luck. He said he'll retire and never wake up again. Howard said that's such a burn and embarrassment.
Howard said that Tom Joyner has collected over 7 million frequent flyer miles. Howard said it's all for nothing. Robin said that you can get free rides from that. Robin said he couldn't stand being on a plane. Howard said he could get so much free travel. Robin said he wanted off that plane.
Robin said she has something to go over with Howard. She said a Brooklyn high school student was arrested for sexual misconduct after having a 13 year old give him a blow job in a stairwell. The kid was 17. Howard said he shouldn't have done it. Howard said these kids know they're doing wrong. Howard said when he was like 16 or 17 and his friend was dating 13 year olds. Howard said he told him he was out of his mind. Howard said the guy dated them because girls his age didn't date him. He said that his friend told him a 13 year old was into him and he was introduced to him. Howard said he didn't see her again after meeting her. Howard said he knows better. He said you can't get a blow job from a 13 year old. Robin said the kids may not know it's against the law. Howard said he knew. Robin said a 17 year old may not know. Howard said they know. He said you see enough TV and you know. Robin said you should tell your kids that you can get in trouble. Howard said of course but he just knew. Robin asked if this should be taught to kids in their sexual education. Howard said of course. Robin said this kid got caught because he was bragging about it to his friends and the girl got upset and told a school counselor about it.
Robin read a story about the fallout of the Harvey Weinstein revelation. Robin said Jennifer Lawrence was honored at some festival about women yesterday and she told a story from her early Hollywood years that had nothing to do with Harvey Weinstein but she was told to lose 15 pounds in 2 weeks. Robin said she also talked about a female producer who had her do a nude lineup with other thinner actresses and took pictures to give her an incentive to lose weight. Howard took a call from fake Harvey Weinstein audio clips and talked to him about this stuff.
Robin read more about the Jennifer Lawrence story and had more details about the weird stuff she's had to go through. Howard said Beth has a million horror stories from her modeling days. Howard said he's not speaking for her about that stuff. Robin said if you escape from that you just move on.
Robin read a story about Molly Ringwald talking about Harvey Weinstein and a business run in she had with him. Robin said that Molly claims she's had a lot of Harvey Weinstein's in her career. She talked about a 50 year old guy who pushed her up against a wall when she was just 13 and another guy who put his tongue in her mouth at 14. Robin said the woman who plays Sersi on Game of Thrones allegedly had a run in with Harvey Weinstein where he tried to lure her up to his hotel room. Robin said they had a faulty room key and she got away because of that. Howard said show business is fucked up.
Robin read a story about the Weinstein company firing Harvey and he's now resigned from the board. Robin said he must be in rehab. Howard did his impression of Harvey calling in from rehab. He was doing the voice with a Chicago accent. He said he knows he doesn't sound like that but it's funnier that way. Howard kept that up for a few minutes talking about rehab and how he's cured already. Fake Harvey was talking to Robin about
Sour Shoes called in as Mad Dog Russo talking about Harvey Weinstein. Howard spent a little time talking to him about that and about Robert Plant. Howard asked him to sing some Zeppelin. Sour did his Mad Dog Russo voice singing but then he told a joke and broke into his Jackie the Joke Man voice. Howard hung up on him saying it likes it better when he sticks to one character.
Robin read a story about how 11 million men in the United States have oral human papaloma virus. Howard said he hopes not Fred. Robin said it can lead to cancer in the head, neck and throat. Robin read some details about the study. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Dow topping 23,000. Robin said that she doesn't even know what that means. Robin said they say it just reached 22,000 last summer. Robin said it's up to 23 now. Robin said that's a 121 year historic event. Robin said it closed just shy of 23,000.
Robin thanked Howard for suggesting The Avengers to her on Netflix. She said that was very good. She said she went back and watched Jessica Jones and she liked it after watching it a second time.
Robin read a story about a 325 pound woman who is changed with killing a 9 year old girl by sitting on her as punishment. Howard said what a way to go. Robin said she's been charged with homicide and cruelty to a child. Robin said she was her cousin. Robin said the 9 year old wasn't able to breathe with her sitting on her. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Jay Z and Beyonce doing a show to raise money for charity to help hurricane victims. Robin had some audio from the show. Howard said he likes Robin's singing better. He said she's his Beyonce.
Robin read a story about the death toll in Puerto Rico going up to about 450. Robin said two members of congress are asking for an audit of the death toll which was 48.
Howard said they mentioned Robin in a story about hurricane Ophelia which hit Ireland. The weatherman mentioned the Stern Show since Robin's middle name is Ophelia. Howard said that hurricane killed 3 people in Ireland. Robin said it wasn't completely powerless.
Robin read a story about the wild fires in California and how they haven't figured out the cause yet. Robin said they say that power lines can cause fires out there in California. Robin said over 40 lives have been lost in the past 10 days due to those wild fires. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the aftermath of the shooting in Las Vegas. Robin said people are still in the hospital and they need money to help treat people who were injured. Robin said the hotel security guard is coming forward and appearing on Ellen Degeneres today. Robin said the security guard was the first one to come in contact with Steven Paddock. Robin had a clip of the guy talking to Ellen.
Robin read a story about President Trump saying that he doesn't know what other presidents did when military were killed. Robin said Trump is being accused of telling the mother of a soldier who was killed that he must have known what he signed up for. Robin had some audio of a woman talking about how he never showed any compassion for what she was feeling. Robin said the White House is saying that whatever the President says to the family is private.
Robin read about Steve Bannon throwing his support behind Dr. Kelly Ward who is running for senate. Robin said this is seen as another step in his war against the GOP establishment. Robin had some audio of Bannon speaking at some event.
Robin asked if Howard is tired of Star Wars. Howard said yes. Robin said Ron Howard directed the new Han Solo film and he announced the title of the new one. Robin said it's called ''Solo: A Star Wars Story.'' Howard said he's a good director so maybe it'll be good. Robin had audio of Ron Howard announcing the new title of the movie. Robin said it's due out next March.
Robin said that Demi Lovato has a documentary out and she never played any of her music for people who aren't aware. Robin had Howard play some clips of her music and of her talking about liking casual sex. She also talked about being on a dating app for both men and women. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Today's show was over around 11:00am.
Today's show was over around 11:00am.