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Howard started the show talking about how he almost belch vomited as he started the show. They had Jim Breuer singing ''The Great American Nightmare'' as goat boy and donkey. Howard said that stupid noise makes him laugh every time. He listened a little more. Howard gave Jim a plug for his album ''Songs From the Garage'' before moving on.
Howard said he's playing the Robin Quivers and Malala game. Howard said he's having a hard time with it. Howard said Malala survived an assassination attempt at the age of 14. Howard said the Taliban tried to kill her and she got the Nobel prize. Howard said they have quotes from Robin and Malala's book and you have to figure out who said it. Howard said he can't figure it out.
Howard gave Robin one. Howard had their cleaning lady reading the quotes. They had her saying ''When they found out she said dead my heart said why don't you go and fight for women's rights.'' Howard said he's going with Malala. Robin did too.
Howard played another clip where the cleaning lady read the quote ''I didn't hear the sound of children playing. Hope had moved out and sadness had settled in.'' Howard said he's going to go with Robin on this. He said he doesn't hear anything about death and destruction. Robin said she's going to go with Robin too. She said she must have said some things. Gary said they're right.
Howard played another clip which was ''Storm winds were gathering. It was time to test my mettle to see just how strong I had become.'' Howard said he thinks that's something Malala would say. Howard said he's going with Malala. Robin said she's going to say that's herself. Gary said it was Robin. Howard asked what she was talking about. Robin said it's to see how much you can stand.
Howard played the next clip which was something like ''I knew he was right. If people were silent nothing would change.'' Howard said that has to be Malala. Robin agreed. Gary said that is Malala.
The next one was ''I was too tired to live and getting less and less afraid to die.'' Howard said if that's Robin he's going to test her ''mettle health.'' Robin said she's going to say that's her. Howard said he's going with Robin too. Gary said it's Robin.
Howard played the next which was ''I dream of going to the top of the mountain like Alexander the great to touch Jupiter.'' Howard said if that is Robin he will have to stop working with her. Howard said he's going with Malala. Robin did too. Gary said it is Malala.
The next clip was ''My world is grounded in the truth.'' Howard said that can't be Robin. He said he's going with Robin. Robin went with Malala. Gary said that is Robin.
The next quote was ''For a brief moment that scared little girl inside me...'' I didn't get the whole quote. Howard went with Robin on that. Robin said she's going with her too. Gary said that is Robin. Howard said Robin won a prize which is a straight jacket right out of there.
Howard said he really was having a hard time with that game. He said he really didn't know. Howard said Malala is from Pakistan. Howard said they claim to be our ally. Howard said he's still thinking about the word ''mettle.'' Howard said he hates that word. Howard said he's never heard her use that word ''mettle'' before.
Howard played the phony phone call Sal made to Pete telling him he had a fan who wanted to say hi. Then they played clips of Pete talking and had him talking to himself. It was very hard to tell which voice was Pete live and which one was the recorded clips.
Howard said he says they should hear all 14 minutes. Howard said he has a feeling that's what's going on in his head all day. Howard said they have done that with Tan Mom and Gary the Conqueror and they all talk to themselves.
Howard asked if the guys think there is any validity to having a special where they play all 14 minutes of Pete talking to himself. Howard asked if anyone would listen to that. He said they should have a special where it's hosted by Pete and it's Pete talking to Pete for 14 minutes. Robin said they could do a show where he just keeps calling himself.
Howard said he'll have to listen to all 14 minutes. Howard asked how that could be boring. Gary said Sal says it's just that short clip for 14 minutes. Sal said if he looped what he just played it would be the same thing. He said the goodbye lasted 9 minutes. Sal said he had things to do that day and he had to say goodbye. Robin asked if Pete knew he was talking to himself. Sal said he doesn't think so. Howard said he thinks that should be a special. He said it's 9 minutes of him saying goodbye to himself. Howard asked how that can't be a special.
Howard said he says they should air it. Howard said he wanted to hear the clip again so he started it over. Howard said in the special they have Pete reading a live commercial too. Howard let the call play again.
Howard laughed as the call played. He said that's 1 minute and 40 seconds of 14 minutes. Howard said Sal ended up saying goodbye to him. He said he should have just gone on for hours. Robin said he could have just let him go. Howard said they could have had a whole day of programming. Howard said they could have 2 breaks with Pete leaving live commercials. Howard said he's listening to that. He said he will tune in for that.
Howard said he wanted to type in something like 20 dollars and it came out 2. He said he timed out. Howard said the waiter had to rip up the previous tab and he had to quickly put in the tip and it read wrong again. Howard asked ''What the fuck?'' He said he would have rather washed dishes to pay for his meal. He said it would be less time consuming. Howard said he loves technology but this thing just confused him.
Howard said he loves using his Kindle. Howard said he just finished Richard Marcinko's book (Rogue Warrior). He said he's going to read one that Gary suggested about the Rolling Stones. Howard said he wishes he had gotten into the Kindle thing earlier. Howard said Robin has to get one. Robin said she will get one. Howard asked Fred if he has one. Fred said not yet. Fred asked about the glowing and if it hurts your eyes. Howard said not at all. He said it reads as a book print or newspaper print. Howard said every page has about 5 words on it because the font is so big.
Howard said the only downside is that the pictures are really tiny. He said he doesn't care about that though. Robin said they say Richard Marcinko was jailed for exposing security lapses. Howard said he should be given a medal for that. Howard said the military asked him to do that. Howard said he thinks he went because he billed monies that weren't proper or something. Robin read that it was about over charging for hand grenades or something. Robin said he's saying that they had it in for him because he was a whistle blower. Howard tried explaining what it was but gave up saying ''who cares?''
Howard played a clip of Wendy the Slow Adult (Rachel Butera) announcing who was on the show today. Doug Stanhope is coming in. Howard said he has some wild shit going on in his life. Robin said he's now rubbing elbows with the Hollywood Elite. Howard said that Bingo is coming in with him too. Howard said it should be good. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he would like to see some sort of study done to find out if guys like porn that's shticky with things like The Sopornos and things like that. Howard said he's not sure who they are selling porn to. Howard said they have one of Donald Trump fucking Hillary Clinton. Howard said no one wants to see that. Howard said act like a MILF or a Babysitter or something. Howard said that shit he loves but not this. Howard said he loves fake agent porn and things like that but not this shticky stuff. Howard said he saw one the other day that was great. Howard said they're supposed to be teenagers who were deciding to try lesbianism. He said one was really afraid to try it and the other was really aggressive. Howard said that's the kind of acting he likes. Howard said he likes babysitter porn and things like that too.
Howard said they have this guy wearing a bad Donald Trump wig and they go on and on debating. Howard said they're really talking politics. He said maybe that's the kind of thing Neal Cavuto beats off to. Howard said he can't imagine anyone watching this stuff. Howard said he doesn't want to watch this stuff. Howard played a clip from the porn he was talking about. Hillary ends up sucking Donald's cock pretty quickly.
Howard said it looks like they put 10 cents into this thing. He said it's really bad. Howard said it's like they're trying to get laughs. He said beating off and laughing don't go together. He said he doesn't think Bill Clinton could get off to this. Howard said it's just bad.
Howard said she'll be sucking dick and then come out with a line. Howard played another clip where Hillary is sucking ''Drumpf'' off and then she'll say a line trying to be funny.
Howard said JD sent it to him and he got angry about it. Howard said one thing about the porn industry is that they know what people want. Howard said he likes it when women are getting a massage and the guy comes on to her. Howard said there are old guys fucking teens in other porn. Howard said he finds himself drifting toward that stuff.
Howard played more of the Hillary porn. Howard said they're going for jokes. Howard said it's insane. Robin said the guy is losing his Trump impression halfway through it. Howard played more of the clip and the guy doing Trump had completely lost the impression.
Howard said Hillary has lost her impression too. Howard said now she's talking immigration. Howard said the only other political porn he watched was Obama and McCain. Howard played more of Hillary getting slammed by Trump. Howard said that's some noise. Robin asked if he thinks people are being swayed one way or the other. Howard said he does.
Howard said he has other porn parodies that are out there. He read the names of some of the movie parodies. He said that's not his kind of porn. Howard said he's not sure what guys like that. He asked if anyone out there likes it. Howard said it's annoying to him.
Howard asked JD how he found it. JD said it was on one of the sites he goes to. Howard asked what site he goes to. JD said it's on Brazzers.com. Howard asked how many sites he goes to. JD said it's a couple. He said he goes to some blogs too. He said one is called BoobieBlog. He said it's pictures of girls with big boobs. Howard said JD is into that. Howard said JD likes big boobs and big asses. Howard said he likes a Kim Kardashian ass. Howard asked if he thinks she's had injections in that ass. JD said yes. Howard asked JD about the other sites he goes to. JD said he goes to Fleshbot too. He said that's a bunch of different things. He said it's like a culmination of sex stuff. Howard asked if he has accidentally watched gay porn. JD said he has done it for the show.
Gary said Sal will call JD in and have gay porn on his computer. He said JD laughs uncontrollably when he sees it. JD said it's Richard who does it. Howard said he must be nervous. Howard asked why he laughs. JD said it's like 2 really macho guys and it's just funny. He said one was a guy passing into another guy's asshole. Richard came in and said he has never laughed harder. He said he pulled out and pissed all over the guy's ass. Richard said he can't piss with a hard on. He said he's impressed with that. He said the guy is talented.
Howard said he's reading about the BoobieBlog thing and it costs $99 a year. JD said it's not. He said it's free. He said you can read the stories they have on there for free.
Fred said the boobs on that site are huge. Howard said he doesn't like asses or tits that big. He said JD and Ronnie should start a blog. Richard said there was a gay porn that he and JD used to watch and they would email him and tell him how much they liked his movies. He said his name is Jason Branch. Richard said he's the one who says ''You wanna play? I'll play hard too!'' Fred played the clip he was talking about. Howard said that guy's yell in that clip is so good. He let that play a little more.
Robin asked what JD has gotten them from the BoobieBlog. JD said that he's not sure. He said there is stuff though. Howard said JD could get away with paying for a site if he showed that they can get clips for the show. Howard said JD gets Instagram pictures of big ass chicks. JD said you can just follow them. Howard asked how he finds out about them. JD said he's on the internet all day so you just run across them. Howard asked if he can jerk off to pictures. JD said it doesn't really do it for him. He said he watches video. Richard said he used to have to jerk off to swim suit ads in the Bass Pro Shop catalogs. Richard said they used to go looking for dirty magazines in the rock quarry. He said they'd be in the trucks and they'd find them in there.
Gary asked JD about the Kaplan twins. JD said they're some hot black chicks. Howard asked if JD has ever fucked a black chick. JD said no. Howard said of course not. Howard asked what black chick would be with him? JD told Howard about some of the other big ass chicks he follows. Gary said he follows a lot of twins. Gary asked who the Kelly twins are. JD said those are the black chicks. The Kaplan twins are different.
Howard said that JD likes someone named Cherokee D'Ass. JD said her ass is the maximum of what size ass he can be into. Howard asked if he ever beats off to ass. JD said he probably has. Richard said they had a woman named Flower Tuchee who they interviewed for Inside the Porn Actor's Studio.
Howard saw a picture of Cherokee D'Ass and he was shocked by the size of her ass. Howard said JD is a freak. Robin saw it and said it's like two balloons. She said they were like basketballs. Richard said he imagines that she takes a huge shit. Howard asked if that's real. Robin said sure.
Howard said he's not sure how you fuck a chick in the ass like that. Richard said he thinks JD would fuck her between the cheeks. JD said no, come on. Howard said Jon Hein has a smaller ass. He said he'd love to see Jon pose for the same picture. Howard said they could call him Jon D'Ass. Howard said they can superimpose Jon's face on that. Howard laughed.
Howard asked JD what his fantasy is with that ass. JD said he'd watch her bounce up and down. Howard said he would not want to fuck that chick. He said she's too freaky for him. Howard said you could screen a movie on that ass. Howard said they were going to do that on Jon Hein's ass. Richard said they were going to screen Private Parts on his ass. Richard said JD must be hung if he's not afraid of an ass the size of that. Howard said that's hard core. Howard said there's no way she could be a porn star but there are guys into her. JD said there is a girl out who has like a 60 inch ass and that's too big for him. Howard said guys are disgusting.
Howard asked if JD would fuck Oprah. JD said he has a thing for her. He said he would. Richard said here must be some fake Oprah porn out there. Howard said he doesn't want to see that. Robin said it would be great if JD started dating Oprah. Howard did his impression of JD talking about getting Cryo-Therapy with Oprah.
Howard said that is some tuchas on D'Ass. Howard said it looks like there's something between her cheeks. Howard said she must have chaffing in there. Howard said there must be a whole ecosystem in that ass.
Howard said JD likes heavy chicks. JD said yes, no. He said there's a difference between thick and heavy. Howard asked if he ever beaten off to The Color Purple. JD laughed. Howard said he should beat off to that. He said that would be really dark.
Howard asked JD who he would rather fuck, D'Ass or Oprah. JD said Oprah is Oprah so he'd probably pick her. Howard said imagine she's listening to the show and she takes a good look at JD. Howard said she could make him over. Richard said she used to have a channel there. Howard said they got rid of that bullshit. Howard said then JD and Oprah have a baby. Howard asked JD if he would lick her asshole. JD said he doesn't know. Howard asked if he's into that. JD said he has been drunk a few times. Howard said he probably would lick it if it was all cleaned up. JD laughed. Howard asked if he would do it after she works out. JD said he doesn't think so.
Richard said he'll never be able to look at Oprah the same now. He said he's going to picture JD beating off to her. JD said he hasn't beaten off to her. Howard played some audio from Oprah's audio book that the guys edited into some graphic sexual comments.
Howard asked JD what his fantasy is about Oprah. JD said he doesn't have one. He said he has just thought she was hot at times. He said that's as far as it's gotten. Howard played another Oprah clip where she talked about Don Johnson's 18 inch cock and soaking his apple bag with her period juice. Howard said he once ate out a girl who was on her period and he went into the bathroom and saw it all over his face. He said she didn't know she was having it and he didn't know until he looked in the mirror. Howard said it freaked him the fuck out. Howard said this chick was wild.
Howard took a call from a guy who made a comment about the big ass girl JD likes. Howard said the weird thing is that JD's girlfriend doesn't have a big ass. JD said she's great. Howard said she has a great ass. JD said he doesn't want to get into physical stuff. He said she's very lovely. Howard said she runs marathons. Howard said JD holds her stuff at the finish line. Howard said maybe he should be running that marathon. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he would think that most black people would be offended. David said not really. He said that you should be able to change your name to anything. He said he did this in Seattle and had his name changed legally. He said that they have name freedom there. Howard said his thing is changing his name. Howard asked if he has friends who call him by his name. David said his friends do but his mom hates it. He said his brother isn't a big fan either. He said he has a YouTube channel where he talks about this stuff. He said we should care about one another. He has a daughter but she has her mother's name. He said he sees her all the time.
Howard asked how old the guy is. David said he's 35. He said he has Multiple Sclerosis. He said it's a bad disease. He said the mother of his child has never been married to him. Howard asked if they're still friends. David said they are.
Howard asked David if he has ever been in trouble with the law. David said he has. He said he was in jail for a year and a half. He said he kind of flipped out one day and they got him for terroristic threats. He said he had to go to jail for a year and a half.
Howard said imagine the cops running across Supernigger in a parking lot. Howard said he thinks that could cause some racial disharmony. Howard said maybe a movie based on his life should be made. Howard said he was told he has face tattoos. David said he does. Howard asked what they are. He has one of a guy with an erection on his face. Howard asked if he would have sex with Oprah. David said he would look into it.
David also has a tattoo of a penis on his face. Howard asked how this guy could go for a job interview with a cock on his face. David said he looks for jobs where he won't be face to face. David said it is a small tattoo. He said he got it as a stamp first to see if he could live with it. He said it's about breaking taboos. Howard asked what else he has on his face. David said he has some colors and a swish mark on his face. Robin said she's looking and doesn't see any of these tattoos. Howard said this guy couldn't even work in a restaurant. Howard said he can't show his face.
Howard read about some of the other names David has had. He was David Fishsuit at one point. Robin said she sees the face art now. She said it's bad. David said he likes tattoos a lot. Howard said he does too but not on your face. David said it's another taboo thing.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this guy has to be a racist having a name like that. David said he's not racist. Robin said people aren't getting the message if they don't understand it. David explained why he got the name after a black man tried to do something similar and was turned down. The caller asked if he's really a father.
Howard said David is a good looking man and he's not sure why he would do this to his face. The other caller asked if he would ever change his daughter's name. David said he doesn't know. Howard let that guy go and then let David go a short time later.
Howard said that was David Supernigger. He said he went to prison and didn't get killed. Howard said he must have gone off his meds going off on someone at a gas station. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and sang a little bit of the Bob Marley song. Howard said he has Doug Stanhope there. Howard said Doug wrote a book called ''Digging Up Mother: A Love Story''. Howard said Doug looks good. He asked what he's drinking. Doug came in with a bottle of something. Doug said he did it on purpose. He said it's Bushmills. He said he could be sneaky but this is funnier. He said they're Kinisoning this shit. He said no one comes in and just gets fucked up. He said he was up at 1am and he did Skankfest. He said Big Jay Oakerson is doing it. He said he was shitfaced by 8pm. He said he was up at 12:45 and he left his American Express at some place he was at. He said he had his card with him so he stuck around at the bar since they were open until 4am.
Howard said Doug looks good even though he does stuff like that. He said he should look like an alcoholic. Robin said she's pissed. Doug said when you have his lifestyle thin is not necessarily good. He said it looks like cancer. He said he doesn't go to the gym.
Doug said when he flew out there he went to the airport a day early. He said he thought if he got a tan before he came out Howard would say he looks good. Howard said he looks like he's got an outdoorsman kind of look. Doug said it's rugged.
Howard said Doug wrote this book and it's called ''Digging Up Mother: A Love Story''. Howard said last time he was in he was talking about his mother dying. Howard said he didn't love his mother. Doug asked which one of his lackies had to skim the book to get quotes. Howard said all of them did. Doug asked if Ronnie really has to drive him home after ball busting on this show. Howard said he does. He said he feels bad about ball busting and he apologizes to him about it. Doug said he didn't mean to take him of track but he always wanted to ask. Howard said Ronnie is a big star now with the fans. He said he doesn't need that. Robin said he's famous but he still has to be a limo driver. Doug asked if he knows to shut up while driving. Howard said he does. He said it's surprising. Howard said Ronnie knows not to mix the business of driving with the business of the show.
Howard asked how long it took to write this book. Doug said it took 4 months. He said Judith Regan was one of the bidders on this book. He asked if she had to move in with Howard for 6 weeks. Howard said she did edit the book with him. Doug said he was going to go with her because she did his but they went with Dicappo instead. Howard said Judith really helped him out a lot with the book.
Howard got back to Doug's book. Howard asked if this is his first. Doug said it is. Howard said the book is about his mom and his heavy relationship. Howard said Doug had to kill his mother. Doug said he has to say he bar backed her. He said Howard told him not to talk about it. Howard said his mom wanted to kill herself with pills. Howard said Doug assisted her. Doug said they made a roast and a cocktail party out of it. Howard said he didn't hate his mother. Doug said it wasn't heart breaking at all. Howard said Doug says that his father was his mother's teacher in high school. She was 18 and he was 36. Doug said that there is a note from his mother to his grandmother about dating him back when she was in school. Doug said his dad was a great dude and he loved him. Howard said no one really talked about what a scandal that was. Doug said it's like looking back and finding the pedophile in the family.
Howard said when his mom and dad divorced his mom found another dude. Doug said that guy spanked him as an adult. He said he was 12 or 13 and he had gotten laid twice already and this dude spanked him. Doug said that the guy is dead now. He said that he had to change names in his book to get away with some of what he wrote. Howard said Doug is very honest. He said it's to a detriment. Howard said he has to get to the Johnny Depp thing too. Howard said everyone must want to interview him. Doug said he had a Paparazzi guy walk into his house and walk out to his studio out back. He said that he was asking to talk to Doug Stanhope. He said his address is out there. He said it comes up if you do a search.
Howard said for those who don't know what they're talking about Doug is friends with Johnny Depp and he wrote something about what Amber Heard is saying about Johnny beating her up. Howard said Doug felt that she was setting him up. Doug said he can't talk about this. He said he hates when he hears people say they can't talk about something like that. He said that everything he said in that open letter he wants to talk about but he had to clear things with a lawyer.
Howard said most people would have kept quiet about what went on with Johnny. Howard asked when he met Johnny. Doug said it was in 2013 he thinks. Howard said they talked about that last time he was there. Doug said it's in the book. He said there was a girl he was so in love with. He said there's a passage in the book about how Johnny had all but given him the keys to his house. He said he was more scared to call Howard to promote something. Howard said he doesn't want to blow his association with Johnny. Howard said regular friends you can let your hair down but you have to behave around Johnny Depp. Howard said he's always been allowed in and it's a close friendship. Howard said Amber Heard claims she's never heard of Doug. Doug said last time he was on he called her ''Amanda Heard'' and he thinks the whole lawsuit is over that. He said he's pretty sure it is.
Howard said that Doug must be bummed out by this case. Doug said they can twist his words. He said it's such a bullshit suit. Howard said she's saying that he wasn't there when Johnny allegedly did this stuff to her. Doug said he put this stuff on his web site. He said The Wrap got it as an exclusive. He said they were the ones who said she's blackmailing Johnny Depp. Doug said he's not sure if it's hinged on that or what. He said he's not sure how much of it is spite.
Doug said he had no contact with Johnny until he reached out and texted him thanking him for being honest. He said that it kind of made him look like a bitch but he was kind of a bitch. Howard asked about the lawsuit. Doug wasn't sure if he could talk about it. Doug said he should probably not talk about any of it. Howard asked how soon after his thing came out did they get to him. Doug said it was like a week later. He said Johnny's mom had just died before all of this went on. He shut himself up after that.
Doug said this has nothing to do with him. Howard asked if Johnny was happy with what he wrote. Doug said ''Yes.'' and that was all he could say. Doug said it still feels like name dropping to him. Doug said he could have had a lot of fun with this whole thing doing interviews and acting like it was all about his book promotion.
Doug said that if she wins this case she's going to get all of his stuff which isn't much. Howard said he takes abuse seriously and it's weird. Doug said he'll talk to him off the air. Howard said he can't wait to talk to him off the air.
Howard said Doug claims that he saw Johnny that day that Amber claimed this all happened. Doug said she told him he was going to do something like that. He said she came out a week later with her story. Howard asked what there is to sue over if she did say this was going to happen. Doug said that he thinks she's just trying to shut him up. Doug said he's talking more now. He said ''Thanks Bushmills.''
Howard gave Doug another plug for his book and said he read that his mom used to jerk off the family dog. Howard asked why she did that. Doug said she thought it was funny and thought he liked it. Doug said he was like 12 when he saw her do it. He said he laughed his ass off at the time. Howard said that can warp you out. Doug said he remembers laughing. He said she kept doing it because she loved to make him laugh. Howard said it has to be startling. Robin asked if she had done it before. Doug said she did it like she was giving him a massage. He said the dog was on his back and she didn't touch the red rocket. She said it was two fingers on the shaft from what he remembers. Doug said she wasn't doing bestiality porn or anything. Doug said dogs have that caked on shit on their cocks anyway. He said you never saw him shoot a load. Howard asked if she was good at it. Doug said he didn't take notes. He just remembers her jerking off the dog.
Howard asked if she ever tried to get bigger laughs by blowing the dog. Doug said no but if she did and got a bigger laugh she would have done it for life. Doug said his mom let him be an adult at a very young age. He said he was reading Hustler at a very young age.
Howard asked Doug about having sex at 9. Doug said he had to change her name in the book. He said that girl showed up at a show in Worcester, Massachusetts. He said a woman named Susan Joy brought this girl who is known as Maura in the book. Doug said that she remembered fucking as little kids. He said that she looked alright when she showed up.
Howard said Doug had a sexual awakening at 9. Howard said his mom jerked off a cat too. Doug said Bingo is there and she should come in to talk about that. Howard asked if his mom ever jerked off any of his friends. Doug said no she didn't.
Howard said Bingo looks great. He said she grew out her hair. Howard said they're not married yet. Howard said he heard they almost broke up. Doug sighed. Howard said Doug forgot her medication. Doug said they were trying to get their bags from the airline so he just said that to speed Delta up. Howard asked if she's okay to drink booze with her meds. Bingo said it is but that's her idea.
Howard said Doug met some chick and suggested a threesome. Doug said this show The Impractical Jokers had a fan cruise. He said they do practical jokes and they're hard core. He said if they had Richard and Sal do things they didn't want to do that's what it is. He said they went on the cruise as fans. Howard said Doug wanted to bang a girl on the cruise. Doug said it was raining the whole time. He said he wanted to get in a hot tub. He said he was soliciting the fattest and ugliest people to get in the hot tub. Doug said he was the life of the party. Howard said he has to make a shtick like his mother did. Howard asked how you jerk off a cat. Doug said he wasn't there but toward the end of his mother's life Bingo's mother showed up and his mother was bragging to her mother about jerking off the cat. Bingo said she had to leave the room.
Howard asked which is funnier to jerk off, the dog or the cat. Howard said he's not sure what his mom was up to. Howard said Doug's mom was bragging to Bingo's mom about the cat. Bingo said she warned her mother about what mother Bonnie was like. She said she had no idea that was going to come out.
Howard got back to the story about the threesome. Doug said that he smuggled in a bunch of booze on the cruise. He said they fuck you over on cruises with the booze. He said they charge like $14 a drink. He said he drinks like 18 a night. Doug said he had a fat suit that he smuggled the drinks in with. He said he had mixed drinks ready to go in the suit. He said he had compression socks and spankx on to get it in there. Bingo said it was all for fun. Howard said Doug needs 18 drinks a night though. Doug said he was smuggling booze in and he is the life of the party.
Howard said Doug and Bingo get together with Richard and his wife just to drink. Howard said he doesn't get that. Doug said that's why he never asks Howard out. Howard said he would be terrified to go to Howard's house. Howard said he doesn't think he'd like his house. Howard said he drinks like one glass of wine. Howard said he's a bore. Doug said he's happy he has him on the show.
Doug said when he flies he has a one quart bag for his liquids. He said he puts 10 shots of vodka in that. Howard said he thinks that they're a great couple. Howard said Doug loves Bingo and he's not easy to get along with. Howard said they have gone years without fucking. Doug said they fucked a couple of times this weekend. He said it might have just in case Howard brought it up. Doug said they did it just so their parents wouldn't yell at them.
Howard asked Doug if he still drinks everyday. Doug said he does. Howard asked Bingo if she joins in. Bingo said not all the time.
Howard got back to the cruise story. Doug said he took some Mexican Viagra and Bingo was in the room. Bingo said she wasn't mad at him for doing that. Doug said the story is long so he hopes they have time for it. Howard said she has gotten it on with girls. Bingo said she wasn't into this one. Howard asked what the turn off was. Doug said he remembers her frowning and leaving. Bingo said she didn't want to be part of it. She got some ice for them. Doug said she didn't want to be involved but it made sense to him at the time. Bingo just left the room. Bingo said she wasn't upset and just left. She said she wanted nothing to do with it. Bingo said she was cold and wanted to get a jacket from the room. She said when she came back to the room they were going at it so she didn't come in. Howard asked Doug if he remembers banging her. Doug said he remembers that she was 23 and he's 50 and he tried his best.
Howard said after the stripper left Bingo confronted Doug and said she was in love with someone else. Bingo said she wasn't jealous. Doug said sometimes when you drink and you wake up with that stark reality of knowing you did something bad and had to live up to it, he knew he had to confront her about it. He said she told him that she was in love with someone else. Doug said he doesn't remember a lot about that cruise. Howard said Bingo left Doug for a musician. Bingo said she did but it was very short lived. Doug said that the guy is a nice guy and they don't want his fans going after the guy. Howard said that Bingo has jammed with the guy. Howard asked what she plays. bingo said she plays keyboard and guitar.
Howard asked what they're drinking over there. Doug said it's Bushmills. Howard asked if he's worried about being wasted for the rest of his press tour. Doug said not at all.
Howard said after Doug fucks the 23 year old Bingo tells him that she's in love with Washtub Willy. Doug said they had maybe 2 more days of cruise after that. Howard said that it must have been tough. Doug said it was. Howard asked if she cheated on Doug with that guy. Bingo said she absolutely did not. Howard said Bingo went to that guy and said she was in love with him. Bingo said she never said she wasn't in love with Doug. She said she never wasn't in love with Doug.
Howard said that Bingo had to split wood for this guy Washtub Willy. Doug said she does this adorable thing where she puts her hands in her armpits and says she had to split wood and make fire. Doug said he was fine with her leaving him if she was in love with this other guy. Bingo said this Willy guy loved her for who she was. She said that out there no one was watching them living off the grid. They had no plumbing or TV. Howard asked if she had to kill her own food. Bingo said that if there were rattlesnakes around they'd kill them. Doug said he thought she tasted a snake. Bingo said she didn't. She said they were able to go shopping for food.
Howard said that Doug used to say he had no sex drive but then he's with a 23 year old. Doug said he took that Mexican Viagra. Howard asked if he is right that Bingo was upset with him over that. Doug said when there is a third party involved and you have to hear someone else taking a dump and you bring in a 23 year old stripper on the scene you can put on that face. He said it's weird. Doug said this is like therapy so they should be paying Howard Stern. Howard said he thinks Bingo thinks that Doug should have been fucking her and not the 23 year old. Doug said he understands.
Howard said Bingo went running back to Doug. Howard asked why she did that. Bingo said she couldn't survive without Doug. Howard said he heard that she ran off into the woods. Then he said he heard that she told Doug and Willy to decide who she should be with. Bingo said she was very confused at the time. Bingo said she wanted to just figure out who to live with and she wanted to leave it up to them. Doug said they did a 3 hour podcast where they talked about all of this. He said Bingo wandered off for a while. Bingo said she went to New Orleans. Howard asked if it was a vision quest. Bingo said it wasn't like that.
Doug said that Bingo left her phone behind and it was blowing up. He said she had Willy in there as ''Buttercup.'' He said he picked up on Willy when he called and he asked if he could come over. Doug said he told him to come over if he would talk on his podcast. Doug said that you can hear that on his podcast. He said their conversation was on the air. He said it was day one of Bingo disappearing. Howard asked Bingo what she did in New Orleans. Bingo said she lived there for a few years. She said she has her boys down there. She meant friends.
Doug said he talked to Willy about living with Bingo out in the woods. Doug said Howard is the first one to ask if she had sex with that guy. Doug said he never asked. Howard asked if Willy was an amazing lover. Bingo didn't want to say. Howard asked who the better lover was. She didn't say. Doug said when he started comedy he knew guys who were in the business for 13 years and sucked. He said he knows he sucks at sex. He said he doesn't want to do that to the person he loves. Howard asked if it was horrible when he did fuck her. Bingo said he's trying a lot more now. Howard asked what he does in bed that's wrong. Doug said it's a lack of effort. Doug said he finishes right away or not at all. He said that's how bad it is. Howard asked how long Washtub Willy lasted. Doug said Bingo fell in love with someone else and he understands that. Howard asked how he can let her get away if he's in love with her. He said he should fight for her. Bingo said that's what was tough. She said that Doug told her to take the truck to Willy's house. She said that showed that he actually did care when she thought he didn't.
Howard asked if Doug is trying to fuck Bingo once in a while now. Doug said he is. Bingo said he's doing a lot. Howard said way to go to Doug. Howard said he might come too fast with Bingo too. He said she's so fun.
Howard said Bingo must have felt like she was needed again. Bingo said that's true. Howard asked why Washtub Willy didn't work out. Bingo said she remembers talking to him at one point and he said there were a lot of opportunities that Doug could give her that he couldn't. Howard said this guy sounds very edgy. Doug said he has some tattoos and scars.
Howard asked if Bingo sees this guy. Bingo said she sees him all the time and they play music together. Howard asked how her mental health is.
Doug said they did two podcasts with Washtub Willy. He said they still hadn't heard anything from Bingo. Doug said they did part 2 and said they'd keep doing it until they found Bingo. Then she called in from New Orleans. Doug said he flew out to find her. He said she did blow with her friends down there. Howard said blow might be bad for her with her mental issues. Howard said Doug goes out to get her in New Orleans. Howard asked if she went to see a doctor after that. Bingo said she went to Arizona and got locked up. She said she was locked up for 10 days. Doug said it was at the Valley Arts and Crafts hospital. He said they had her making some macrame or some shit. Doug said she was more sane than the people who worked there. He said her mind was fine. Howard asked why she was admitted.
Doug said Bingo doesn't see a doctor. He said that she sees and RN over Skype. She had some episodes and had some hallucinations. Bingo said she was delusional about some stuff with Johnny Depp. Doug said they were filming some stuff in Arizona. He said she went to one house and got dressed up like she's in the Kentucky Derby. He said that she was wondering when she was going to get in the movie and she thought that she had been dressed by two people to get ready for an event. Bingo said she was completely delusional. She said that can happen to her. Doug said that's when she got locked up. He said she was just describing that stuff to them. Doug said the hospitalization was like jail. He said it was bullshit.
Howard said that this stuff about his mom jerking off the dog and cat are wild. Howard said there are a lot of things he's leaving out because it's getting late. Howard said Doug used to scam gay men into giving him money. Doug said he's had stuff in his butt but not with gay men. He said Bingo may have done it in the early days.
Howard said he has to get the fuck out of this. He said he feels like he's hallucinating. Howard said his wife asked who is on the show today. He said he told her Doug and Bingo and she asked what they're going to talk about. Howard said he said ''What aren't they going to talk about?''
Howard said Doug needs Bingo. He said she's mental but so what. Howard said she needs him too. Howard said no more Washtub Willy.
Howard asked if they call them the Sid and Nancy of comedy. Doug said that was Hedberg who did that. Howard asked if he should be doing an intervention with them. Doug said he would do it there if it needs to be done. Howard said the book just came out. He gave Doug another plug for that and said he's a very accomplished comedian. Doug said he would like to thank the comedians who came out and backed him up on what he said about Johnny Depp. He said a lot of comics said that he would never bullshit about that.
Howard asked if Bingo was called to testify in the case. Doug said she's mentally ill and she has nothing to do with it. Howard said what he loves about Bingo is that she's so open about her mental illness. Howard said she's rational most of the time when she's on her meds. Bingo said it's good to talk about it. She said she knows she needs that medication.
Howard asked if it runs in her family. Bingo said it does on her mother's side. Doug said they tried to beat it into her that she had been molested and she refused to go along with that. Howard said this is some story. He said it's wild. Howard said they have polished off that entire bottle of Bushmills whisky. Doug said they shared it. Neither of them were feeling a buzz.
Doug said he loves that Memet guy on the show. He said he is thick skinned. He said that man bun thing didn't bother him at all. He said Richard is still his favorite but he loves that dude Memet.
Howard asked what the plan is for the rest of the day. Doug said Ronnie is going to kick them out and then he has to go do the other Sirius shows. He said he does David Feldman's podcast and some other things. He said he's doing a podcast of an old friend of the show who lives in Hoboken. Howard asked if it was Artie's podcast. Doug said that's it. Howard said good for him. Doug said he's not sure if he can say his name. Howard said of course he can. Doug said this is the only one that really matters. Howard gave Doug another plug for his book. Doug said follow his legal case too. Howard said they're all worried about him. Howard said being sued is never fun. Doug said it's not fun because he can't make jokes about it. He said everything in his life is funny even his mother dying. He said he knew he was going to get 7 minutes of material out of that.
Howard asked how many pills his mother had to take to end her life. Doug said he thinks it was 90. Bingo said that they say it only takes 30 but she took 90.
Howard asked Doug about Johnny Depp writing the foreword to his book. Doug said he did that. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
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After that live commercial Howard came back and asked Robin how she likes that Doug and Bingo. Robin said she loves them. Robin said she cries when they're there. Howard said they're functioning just fine after drinking so much.
Howard said he promised last week that he'd play audio of High Pitch Erik talking about how much he loves Wayne Brady and Drew Carey. Howard said this is Gonzo Shitcock talking to Erik in the clip. Howard played it and Erik was talking about how much he loves The Price is Right.
Howard picked up on Erik and asked if he is in love with Wayne Brady. Erik said he loves Drew more but he loves Donnie Wahlberg the most. Howard asked who he would fuck out of the three. Erik said he's putting him on the spot. Erik said it would have to be Donnie Wahlberg. Howard said he had a feeling it was.
Erik was trying to get in a plug for an appearance he's making but Howard said he sounds like he's under water whenever he's on. Howard said he must be speaking into the wrong end of the phone. Erik said they're doing a meet and greet at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel on July 2nd. That's Erik, Joey Boots and Gonzo. Howard asked who would go meet them? Erik said they have fans.
Howard said Erik is doing voice mail messages for fans for $50. Erik said he does video for 50 and voicemail for 25. Howard said Erik maintains that he's not gay but he is in love with those men. Erik said if any of them want to meet him they can see him at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. Howard let Erik go after that plug.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the Doug Stanhope interview was great. He said he loved the story about jerking off the dog. He said he used to do that when he was a kid but with a vacuum hose. Howard said don't do that shit. He asked what happened to decency. Howard said it ruins the bond between man and dog. Howard said he's putting his foot down. The caller said it wasn't the best thing to do. Howard said he has to end this conversation.
Howard said he loves his animals but he'd never jerk them off. Benjy asked if he ever feels bad for them not having a sexual life. Howard said not at all. Benjy said it's a divided issue in PETA about people having sex with animals. Robin said some people shouldn't even have sex with other people, never mind animals. Gary said Brent is in PETA and he says it's not a divided issue. Brent said it's not divided at all. Benjy told him to Google it. He said that Newkirk chick who is in charge of PETA said something about it. Howard said he doesn't want to hear it. He said he's done with it. Gary said he just Googled it and there is nothing about that. Howard said Benjy has led them down a road they didn't want to go down.
Brent came in and said he looked it up and it's not a divided issue at all. Benjy said it's PETA's point of view. Howard turned off Benjy's microphone. He said he doesn't want to hear it. Brent and Benjy argued a little more about it.
Howard said he's done with the conversation. He said it's a road he doesn't want to go down. Howard said he knows it's wrong. Howard said just imagine High Pitch Erik fucking Wayne Brady or Donnie Wahlberg.
Howard read some email about his Hung Handsome Howard phone call last week. Howard said people enjoyed that. Howard said someone asked when they'll hear from Humble Robin. Robin said she'll probably be miserable.
Robin read about the death of actor Anton Yelchin. Robin said he got out of his car and it somehow rolled into him and killed him. Robin said he got pinned between the car and his mailbox and died. Robin said he was discovered when he didn't show up for band practice or something. Robin said they looked into it and found him at his home. Robin said the cast of Star Trek have been talking about how much they'll miss him. Robin said it was a freak accident. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a bear attacking a woman who was running a marathon in New Mexico. Robin said she was running and this baby bear had gotten separated from its mom and ran up a tree. The mom came up just as the woman was running by so the bear attacked the woman. Robin said she had some injuries to her head, neck and upper body. Howard said he feels really bad about the kid who got killed by the alligator in Florida. Howard said the alligator didn't even eat the kid. It just killed it for fun. Gary said someone said in there that they kill their pray and wait for it to soften up after a while. Then they eat it.
Howard said the whole idea of Jason eating Jeff the Drunk's arm came up last week and they asked some celebrity chefs how to cook it. He said one guy had a suggestion but he was repulsed. Howard played the clip of this guy Tyler talking about how to smoke it and cook it like a brisket. Low and slow. Howard said people think this needs to happen. Howard read some email they got from fans about that. Howard said they're waiting to find out if they can have the arm. Howard asked when he's getting his arm removed. He said he knows Jason's mom is worried about the whole thing. Howard said Jeff is going July 1st.
Howard read more email about Jason's offer to eat Jeff's arm. Jason said his mom isn't happy about it. He said she sent him a text saying ''Please don't eat Jeff's arm.'' Howard said they have to cook it with the skin. Howard said he's about to throw up just thinking about it. Jason said he would love to smoke it or fry it. He said maybe a little salt and pepper. He said he wants it cleared through a doctor first though.
Howard read more email about the eating of Jeff's arm. Jason said Richard asked if he would really eat it. Jason said yes and he's surprised it's been blown out like this. Howard played a song parody they got about saying goodbye to Jeff's arm. Howard said Jason is going to do it even though his mom is upset about it. Jason said his wife isn't happy about it either. He said she would prefer that he not do it. Jason said that his brother totally understood and was with him. He said people are concerned and grossed out. He said it upsets people. Howard said they'll find out July 1st if this will happen. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard talked about Frank Zappa after doing a commercial where he mentioned him. Howard said that Frank was so open about music and everything in his life. Howard said there are too many things to even mention. Robin said that he used to call the pope the biggest drug dealer in the world. Howard said he's still not sure about that.
Howard took a call from Jim from Raleigh who asked if they can have some fans come in to see Jason eat Jeff's arm. Jim said he'd like to come. Howard said he'll have to think about that. Howard said he might do that. Howard said if Jason goes through with it he may vomit for the first time. He said Jason is so into meat. He said he wants to volunteer to apprentice at his local butcher shop. Howard said Jason is way into it.
Jason came back in and said he talks to his butcher all the time about how to get certain cuts. He said he's curious about the whole process. Howard said the less he knows the better. Jason said he's into knowing what part of the body it's from and all of that. Howard said his grandfather was a butcher. Jason said that's part of eating. He said that he would like to learn about it since he's such a fan of eating it. Howard said he doesn't eat any meat. Jason said he's not saying this just to shock him. Howard said he knows. He said if he's going to eat Jeff's arm he is hard core.
Robin brought up this documentary about OJ Simpson called Made in America. Robin said she watched the first part and it's fascinating. Robin said you forget about who OJ was. Howard said he hears about this special all the time. Robin said this documentary is very good. She said she would recommend it. Howard said he may have to watch it. Robin said this was the time of a lot of civil rights movement and all of that. Robin said he became a pioneer and then you see how it all devolved. Howard said he TiVo'd it but then deleted it because he's so over OJ. Robin said that last crime he was convicted in was on tape. Robin said that's what he's serving time for now. Robin said one of the really shocking things was that OJ's dad was gay. Robin said he died in 1985 from AIDS. Robin said it was never really talked about.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he can add Netflix to the list of companies who are ripping you off. He explained a commercial they did that ripped off a Ronnie movie game they played. Howard said he'll get his lawyers on that right away. Howard said maybe they did inspire that commercial. Howard let the caller go and did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the movie ''The Day the Clown Cried'' which is something Jerry Lewis did that was never released. Howard said they've been talking about it for like 30 years and he saw it was online and he didn't care. Robin said she's not sure if she cares. Gary said it was pretty boring. He said he read that Jerry was addicted to Vikodin at the time and it did kind of look like that. Robin said Vikodin didn't even exist back the. Howard asked who released it. Gary said it looks like it was shot off a TV screen. Robin said they said that a German documentary was being done about it and they came across it. Howard said he kind of gets why Jerry didn't release it. He said it didn't work and he didn't want it out there. Howard said he did the right thing by not releasing it. Howard said they never cut anyone a break when it comes to this stuff. Howard said he heard it's really bad though.
Robin said she noticed that some of the news organizations were using the Orlando shooter's name. Robin said she did at the beginning but stopped. Howard said he knows his name. Robin said one of the things these people are looking for is name recognition. Robin said the conversation the police had with the shooter will be made public. Robin had some audio of an official talking about what can be heard in the call. Robin said that the wife of this man was in special education classes in school so she may not know the consequences of things like this. Robin said they are looking to possibly charge her with something in this case.
Howard took a call from a guy, Chad, who said he's thinking about the online dating thing after hearing the Doug Stanhope interview. He asked what Howard thinks about this whole sexuality thing. Howard said most people are either homosexual or heterosexual. Howard said there are guys who say they're bisexual but they turn out to be gay. Robin said she has seen people who are pretty much 50/50. Howard said no. Howard said you're either one or the other. He said he doesn't believe in bisexual. Robin asked how he explains the women he knows who have been with both men and women. Howard said he doesn't explain it because it doesn't fit into his theory. Robin asked about women who marry men and then the man dies or goes away and then the woman marries a woman. Howard said they were repressed. Robin said Carol Leifer was into men. Howard said she thought she was but she was into women. Robin asked about Meredith Baxter Birney. Robin said she's with a woman now. Howard said he thinks she was always into women. Howard said none of her marriages worked. Howard said just go with his theory.
Robin read a story about a man who had 11 kids living in his house from the age of 6 months to 18 years. Robin said a neighbor called in a child abuse case on this guy and they found that some of the kids were in the house and some were in a chicken coup. Robin said the 18 year old claims she was gifted to this guy by her parents at the age of 14. Robin said they think that some of the other kids may be from the same family. Robin said they are investigating. Robin said the man has had 2 kids with the 18 year old. Robin said the parents of the 18 year old have been arrested as well as the guy who had the kids. Robin said it reminds her of that movie ''Room'' that won an academy award this year. Robin said this is happening in the world and you don't know or think of it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said last week Robin's voice was all crappy and she was talking about drinking hot water. He said he was reading that hot water can increase the chance of esophageal cancer. Robin said there is something about hot beverages and their link to cancer. The caller said they say something about 149 degrees. Howard asked why that would case cancer. Howard said heat is good for you. The caller said apparently not in your throat. Howard said he has to get out of this planet. He said there are so many things good and bad for you.
Robin read a story about how Donald Trump paid almost no income taxes in the early 90s. Robin said his casinos weren't doing very well at the time. Robin said he also paid no income taxes in 1978 or 1979. Robin said he was forced to live on $458,000 a month at one point.
Howard said someone asked about his man bag that he caries. He said it's a John Varvatos. Howard read an email about that. Howard said all dudes are walking around with bags. Fred has a small computer bag. Howard asked to see Fred's bag and then Benjy's bag. Howard said his bag is leather.
Robin read some news about Hillary and Donald Trump and how unpopular both of them are. Howard said he heard from someone the other day who said she would never vote for Hillary because ''emails.'' Howard said he gave his whole rap on that and she said she had other reasons that she couldn't think of at the time. Howard said most people don't have facts. Robin said it's just a feeling some people get.
Howard took a call from Tan Mom and asked who she's voting for. Tan Mom said no one. She said Robin sounds 20 years younger. She said she sounds beautiful. Howard said she's beautiful and ready for action. Tan Mom said that Hillary is untrustworthy. She was going on and on about Obama letting immigrants into the country and things like that. Howard said she really would be perfect for Sal. Howard asked how Father's day was at her house. Tan Mom said it was great. She said they had a wonderful time. Howard said he really has to get out of there. Tan Mom said she's doing a couple of movies. She said National Lampoon is doing a comedy with people in their 40s. She was trying to explain it to Howard but Howard said he really has to go because he's running out of time. He said he has to go. He let her go a short time later after telling her to call the Wrap Up Show instead.
Robin had some audio of Donald Trump talking about profiling and how we have to use common sense in this country. Robin said he's for more racial profiling. Howard said he's for racial profiling as long as it makes people safe. Howard said he doesn't like people getting pulled over for just being black though. He said he's afraid Sal would get pulled over for looking like a terrorist.
Robin read about the head of the National Rifle Association talking about how banning guns will not stop these shootings from happening.
Robin read more about Trump and how he thinks he can win the White House without the support of the top republicans. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about that.
Robin read a story about the heat out in the west. Robin said they have triple digit temperatures out there. Robin said in Phoenix they say people have to be alert because it doesn't take long to succumb to the temperatures. Robin said they've had 4 deaths from it so far. Robin had someone talking about the unusual weather out there. Robin said they're calling it a heat dome.
Robin read about the Cleveland Cavaliers winning the NBA championship. Robin said they say it's a historic win. Howard said the Warriors must be pissed. Howard said Lebron did say he was going to bring back a championship to Cleveland. Robin had some audio of Lebron talking about the win.
Robin read about the number 1 movie at the box office this weekend was a movie called Finding Dory. Robin said it broke all records and had the biggest animated opening ever. Robin said it made $136 million in America alone. Howard said if he was going to fund a movie it would be one of those animated films. Howard wondered what the movie was about. He said he could probably write it in minutes. He said it's the stupidest crap. Howard said he's writing one which is the story of a fish that has to entertain baby fish in a concentration camp. Howard said they're saying that he should be locked up for life. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started the show asking if ''Hey Now'' or ''Whoop, whoop'' is better. Robin said they both have their charm. Fred was playing the ''whoop, whoop'' clip over and over. Howard said they could debate that all day. Howard said He has Alyssa Milano telling them who is on the show today. He played the clip and she said that Steven Tyler will be calling in today. Robin asked how that happened. Howard said she was up there at Sirius and someone there asked her to be their guest announcer and she came in and did that.
Howard said yesterday Benjy got into a heated argument about PETA and their stance on sex with animals. Howard said they were on the air talking about the disgusting news that people were jerking off dogs. Howard said Benjy claimed that PETA was split on that. Howard said Benjy said you could Google it. He said Gary went and did that and 20 pages in found no controversy at all. Howard said he's not sure what Google Benjy is using. Howard said PETA has a statement about bestiality. Howard read the quote about how having sex with an animal is raping that animal. Howard said they don't have a choice and it's illegal in all 50 states. Howard said He got a note from Lisa Lange from PETA.
Benjy asked if He can respond. Howard asked what there is to say. Benjy said He has spoken to people from PETA. Benjy said a couple of years ago a woman was raped by an ape. He said He wanted to track down that woman. Benjy said there was an ape that spoke sign language and He wanted to interview him. Howard stopped Benjy. He said that has nothing to do with this. Benjy said that the ape was only available in the afternoons. Benjy said that someone from PETA said something about French kissing a dog. Howard cut Benjy off again. He said he's talking old news.
Howard said this is shtick. Howard turned off Benjy's microphone. Fred was doing his Benjy impression and playing a ship horn. Benjy was off microphone talking about how PETA changed their position on it. Howard said they're talking about people and their pets and using them for sexual gratification. Howard said they have always said that it's wrong. Benjy still sounded like He wanted to argue about it.
Howard said this is boring. Benjy said this is frustrating. He said Google Peter Singer and Ingrid the head of PETA. Howard said He loves Benjy but He has to chill. Howard said he's not going to bother getting him a statement and still argue with him. He said PETA says it's wrong and that's it. Howard said it's a silly conversation. He said use common sense. Howard said forget PETA. It's wrong to jerk off an animal. Howard said it would never even occur to him to do that. Robin said even using animals as jokes is wrong. She said some people try to get them high. Howard said it's going to be a long, silly conversation that people will tune out of. Howard said it was interesting to get the statement and now it's time to move on. Howard said Benjy goes too far.
Howard said there is no such thing as a normal conversation with Benjy. He said it always turns wrong.
Howard said there might be a video for the song and there is also an opera version by Daniel Mendelson. Howard played Daniel's version of the song. Howard said Julian Velard also covered the song on the Wrap Up Show. Howard played that as well. Howard said this is his favorite cover. Howard said the original is his favorite of course. He said that's a hit. He doesn't care what anyone says.
Howard said on HowardStern.com they posted a clip of Beetlejuice playing basketball. He said He can't hit the basket. Howard said you get to see that. Howard said today they also have a Tom Adelsbach video where they stuck Steph Curry's head on Beet. He said you can see that on HowardStern.com too.
Howard said Alyssa Milano mentioned that Steven Tyler will be calling in. Howard said something happened and he's not able to come in. Howard said He doesn't take calls from a lot of people but He will take one from Steven.
Robin said that Reagan was shot to impress Jodi Foster. Mark asked how Trump is going to protect himself. Howard said sometimes Secret Service can protect you but sometimes they can't. Howard said the lesson here is to not join The Voice. Howard said go on The X-Factor in Europe or something.
Howard said the guy who shot up the gay club turns out to be gay and He hated himself for being gay. Mark asked if it's about pussy then is it women's fault. Howard said they're getting silly like the vortex of Benjy. Howard asked what he's going to do.
Howard took a call from a guy who said He thinks there's a guy on Hair Nation who sounds just like Brent and He wonders if he's moonlighting there. Howard said He is not. Howard said Sirius is so great with all of the channels they have there. Howard said Rude Jude works there on the Eminem channel He thinks. Howard said Rude Jude had Corey Feldman on the show and Corey walked off the show. Howard said Corey was trying to promote his book or something. JD said He thinks He had an album. Howard said Corey has the ambition to be as big as Michael Jackson or something. Howard said they got into an altercation and it didn't work out well.
Howard played a clip of Corey talking to Jude about his book and telling him He should read it. Jude said He won't talk about what's in the book but he'll tell him to read it. Corey said He does that because He only has 20 minutes. Howard said they played one of Corey's songs and then took some calls about his song. Jude took some calls and people were saying that song was whack. Corey said He had to go. He walked off the show. Jude said He doesn't understand. Howard said he's ''Rude Jude'' so you have to expect to walk off.
Howard said Sirius is great. He said He loves all of the controversy. Howard said this stuff is going on all over the service. Howard said they have a lot of channels there. Howard said He wanted channel 1 there but they said He can't have it so He took 100. Howard said He took 100 and 101.
Howard said He would have liked to hear Corey's new music. Howard said He has it now. Howard played the song which was one that had Snoop Dogg in it. Robin said that's not what He played on that show. She said it was ''test'' something. Howard played the Corey Feldman song He had since He didn't have the other one. Howard said it sounds like all the other crap out there. He said it's no better or worse. Howard said maybe He should get back to Benjy.
Howard asked what's up with Tom's speech. Fred and Robin talked about that and goofed on him a little bit. Dave talked about how He was going to stop shaving when his show went away. He said He had to shave from the age of 20 to 68 and He got sick and tired of it. Howard said he's sick of wiping after He shits but he's not going to stop.
Robin said Letterman's voice sounds old and shaky too. Howard said it does. Howard said he's sure Letterman is sick of hearing jokes about his beard.
Howard said He has a clip of Evil Dave calling a tailor shop. Howard played the prank call where Evil Dave says He zipped up his fly and got his testicle caught in the zipper. Dave told the guy He can't even see his penis because his beard blocks the view. The tailor told him to put a mirror down. Dave asked if He should pull the zipper down really fast. The tailor said maybe He should. Dave pulled it down and said He had some penis sized Band-Aids. He said now it looks like raw meat down there. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard said Benjy likes to get into these arguments on the air but the audience doesn't care. Howard said he's been in radio for 40 years and He doesn't think this is just kooky. Benjy said that's his right but intellectually Howard just shuts it down when he's not interested in it. Howard said He doesn't even know what to say. Robin said there is nothing to say. They have gotten to the end of this. Howard said they nipped it in the bud.
Howard said they work with people closely and they'll see how hard it is to do that when they talk to Steven Tyler. Howard said He has to get along with Benjy because He has talent. Howard said you have to put up with his outbursts.
Fred said Benjy is so upset that he's not eating. He said He has a luxurious fruit salad and eggs. Howard said Benjy lost weight but he's gained it back. Benjy said He starts stuffing with food and it's hard to stop. He said He has gained some back.
Howard said He had to move up a size in his pants. He said He had a lot of clothes tailored when He lost weight but now he's gained 10 pounds and He has to cut down again. Howard said He should have gained a lot of weight putting on muscle. He said that He could look like The Rock. He said He should have done steroids instead of LSD. Howard said instead it's too hard to pack on muscle so He has to get skinny like a chick. Howard said He watches TV obsessively. Howard said Joe Walsh was skinnier than him when He was young but now he's bulked up. Howard said it's too late for him to fill out so He has to diet down to look like Skeletor. Howard said all of his fat goes to his belly. Howard said He has a muffin top. He said all of his shirts are too tight now. Howard said He will be thinner. He knows it's not a good look for a dude. Howard said He has to be rock star thin.
Howard said He has to get back into the gym and get back to working out. He said He has heart palpitations after doing that though. Robin said He should get that checked. Howard said He doesn't care. He said He has to get thin.
Howard asked Benjy what he's eating. Benjy said it's like 2 eggs and some fruit. He said it's like 160 calories of eggs and 200 of fruit. Benjy said it's probably more like 190 for the fruit. He said He just stuffs a lot of food. He said He will eat a lot of whatever He has around. He said last night He had noodles and He just wants to keep stuffing once He starts. He said He thinks he's already blown the day so He might as well keep going. Howard said there's a moment of reality for Benjy. Benjy said he's been going to Overeaters Anonymous. He said they say he's a good person and they like him there.
Howard said there must be some real fatsos there. Benjy said it's anorexic people too. Howard asked how often He goes. Benjy said He went every day a week ago. He said he's just trying to go once a week now. Howard said maybe He should go to Weight Watchers. Benjy said He has no problem with them. Howard said Oprah owns a percentage of that. He said she's still fat. Robin said she lost 30 pounds and she eats bread every day. Howard said JD said yesterday that He wants to fuck Oprah. Robin said He did say He likes her and found her attractive. Howard said JD loves big ass. Howard said they took a picture of a woman with a big ass and put Jon Hein's face on it. He said it's really funny. Howard said you should make it your screen saver.
Howard said Jason did the work on it and did a great job. Jason said He went through all of Jon's pictures and found one that looked like He was turning around. Jason said He loves making fun of Jon. He said He likes to see the quiet anger He has. He said Jon acts like it doesn't bother him but it drives him crazy. Gary said Jon is pretending not to look at Jason right now. Howard said Jon is the guy who will blow up one day. Gary said if He does Jason will be the first one He goes off on. Jason said Jon is angered by everything but He says nothing bothers him.
Howard said Jon has another job working on a TV show where He yells at another guy about sports. Howard said that's why Jon is growing a beard. He said He has some stupid thing going on where He won't shave until something happens. Gary explained it to Howard. Howard said He asked Jon what it's like growing a beard and Jon just said ''It's okay.'' He said that's all He got out of him. Howard said it's hard to get emotion out of the guy. Jason said Jon is staring at his computer pretending not to listen. He said his shoulders get so tense that it's funny.
Howard said Gary has a picture of Jon and his family on his desk. Howard asked Jon if He has one of Gary on his desk. Jon said He doesn't. Howard said He thinks Gary is a fucking weirdo. Howard said that's weird. Jon said He thinks Gary likes the picture of his family and He just happens to be in it. Gary said it was an event that made him happy to be at. Jon said he's flattered by it.
Howard asked Jon about the beard bit. Jon explained why he's growing it. It's about Ryan Fitzpatrick and waiting for him to sign. He said it may not happen until July so He may be stuck with the beard until then. Howard said it's a good mountain man look for Jon. He said He doesn't look like a lesbian now.
Howard read a note about how Jon has a PA get his Chick-Fil-A food but they're not allowed to get anyone else's food at the same time.
Howard asked if Jon doesn't like Jason. Jon said He doesn't like people who get off on making other people miserable. Jon said Jason will say He doesn't know how loud he's being when He knows exactly how loud he's being. Robin asked if this has to do with fantasy football. Jon said not at all. Howard said He heard that Jason yells out ''Hit him with the Hein'' when he's leaving work. Jon said that's something Nick Ruckert came up with. Jason came in and said that it angered Jon when Nick started saying it. Jason said He started. Gary said Jason does it in a way where He says ''Hit 'em with the HEEEEEEIN!'' Jason said Jon will just stand there until it's over. Jon said it's all the time now. He said that's what He hears all the time.
Howard asked what the rest of the office thinks. Gary said it's hard to tell. Howard asked if Jon wants to go off on Jason. Jon said that he'd love to punch him in the face sometimes. Jason said they love each other. Jon said that's all just part of the game back there.
Howard read some notes about dreaming about urine and how it means your life is going out of control in some way. Howard said it can mean that you're married to an unsuitable person. Howard said He doesn't understand dream therapy. Howard said it can also mean that you feel the emotional burden of this person. Howard said it can also mean that it's a lack of feeling self worth. Sal said that part may be number 1. Sal said He thinks that Ross was more a part of the dream than the pee. Howard said he's blocking his urine. Sal said He peed on himself. Howard said that's because He hates himself. Robin said she doesn't think Sal likes Ross. Sal said they actually get along now. He said He has no problem with him at all. Robin said maybe unconsciously He does. Robin said maybe it's about money. Sal said that could be it.
Howard said He thinks Sal has a lot of shit on his brain that He won't talk about. Sal said He doesn't really. Howard said He has that Jesus ring. Sal said He isn't wearing it now. He said it's too heavy. Howard said He thinks it's about a purification thing.
Sal said that He and Ross got to be close when He told him He loves the cologne He wore. He said Ross refused to tell him what it was. He said that his wife does the same thing when someone says they like the scent. Sal said He eventually found out and it was over $250 a bottle. He said it turns out it's something called ''Portrait of a Lady.'' He said He smells so good and it puts him in a good mood. Howard said He has never heard a guy talk like this. Sal said Ross smells better than a woman. Howard said Sal might be gay. Sal said he's not. He said that He used to say Ross had bad breath but He doesn't. He said He went to Ross and He told him what this cologne was. He said it was Portrait of a Lady and it's kind of a feminine name. Sal said He told him how much it cost. He said that the 3 ounce bottle is like 90 bucks. He said He told his wife about it and He told her about it and how it could change everything.
Sal said father's day came and his wife wasn't able to get it. Howard said it's listed as a woman's fragrance. Sal said He got a bottle on Christmas. He said his wife got it for him and He was so happy about it. He said it was the $300 bottle. He said He was so excited about it that He hopped in the shower before putting it on. Sal said He put it on and it smelled like ass sweat and pine trees. He said He thought it was him at first. Sal said He was walking around his house and He figured his wife would like the smell. He said she told him He smelled like shit. Sal wondered how this could be. Sal said that his cousin loves the smell of Diesel Fuel cologne. He said He had her smell this stuff and she told him to get rid of it. Sal said He ended up returning the stuff. He said with one spray you can return it. He said this stuff triggered his pheromones and made it smell bad. He said He now feels in some way that Ross sabotaged him. He said that's how He thinks this all started.
Howard said maybe Ross lied about it to fuck with him. Howard said maybe He didn't want him smelling like him. Sal said He did think about that. Robin asked why He didn't go to Barney's and try it out first. Sal said He can barely get to the Long Island Railroad. Sal said Ross said He was really bummed out about it.
Howard said He heard Sal had a turn around about Muslims. Sal said He did. He said He thinks God gave him a sign. He said He was driving home and the little short school bus stopped in front of him. Howard said they probably thought He was a student. Sal said a bunch of Muslim people came out in his neighborhood and this little girl came down the ramp in a wheelchair. He said she's not well. He said then He lost it in his car. He said He started crying. He said He realized you can't put all of these people under one umbrella. He said she's a human being and she has struggles just like we do. He said it's unfair to condemn all people like that. He said now He sympathizes with Muslims because they're all being persecuted for one person's actions.
Sal said He told Ross about the pee thing and He told him to go see a therapist. Howard asked why Sal told Gary about this dream. Sal said he's understanding about that stuff. Howard said Sal used to bust Gary's balls so much though. Sal said Gary is such a great guy though. He said Gary sat him down there when He started and He told him to never feel bad about breaking his balls. He said he's just a good guy.
Howard said Sal doesn't think Gary works hard enough. Sal said Gary is a great guy. Howard said it's odd that He goes to him for comfort but that's how He feels. Howard said you'd think he'd go to Robin with that stuff. Sal said Robin gave him a sheet telling you how to cum. Robin said she gave it to him to use as a bit. It wasn't meant for him to use with his wife. Robin said she told Howard about it too.
Howard said they learned a lot about Sal today and no one cares. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said they have an anniversary to celebrate. Howard said that it's exciting. He said it's the 9th anniversary since Robin spoke on the air about her coffee enema weekend with Judith Regan. Howard said it was this weekend that was the anniversary. Howard said it was actually June 11, 2007. Howard said that He was against the coffee enema. Howard said He thinks it led to Robin's demise. Howard said it raised a lot of questions for them back then. Howard said Robin isn't doing them anymore. He said it was a big mistake. Howard said coffee is very dangerous. Howard said it all got started because someone tried while doing cancer treatments. Howard said it didn't work. He said it didn't get rid if cancer. Robin said she didn't do it for cancer. Howard said people use hot coffee in there sometimes. Robin said it was warm coffee. Howard said they say it can cause scalding inside your asshole. Robin said you test it before doing it. Robin said it wasn't too hot.
Howard said He saw what happened to Robin. Howard said she got the CANCER. Robin said that it wasn't in her colon. Howard asked if she has stopped. Robin said it's none of his business what she does.
Howard played some clips from that day when Robin talked about the coffee enemas. Robin talked about shoving a tube in her ass like 7 or 8 inches.
Howard said never put that stuff in your ass. Howard said never do it. He said you never squirt shit into your ass. Howard said then Robin said she can hold the enema for 12 minutes. Howard said she's walking around for 12 minutes with coffee in her ass. Robin said she didn't walk around. Howard played another clip of Robin talking about holding it for 12-15 minutes. Howard had a clip of Robin talking about flushing the coffee out when they were done with the enemas. Robin described the aftermath.
Howard said in honor of the anniversary they had Richard Christy go to get an enema. Howard said He forbid Richard from doing it when they found out the risks. Howard read some of the risks and told Robin about how dangerous it can be. Robin said that a bunch of those things are just not true. Robin said there are plenty of people taking those coffee enemas right now. Howard said don't do it.
Howard said Judith Regan recoded a special message for her about this anniversary. Howard played that clip and Judith talked about how some people have Paris or the Hamptons but they'll always have their coffee enemas.
Howard said there it is, Robin's anniversary. Howard said some people want magic in their life and shooting coffee up your asshole isn't what he's looking for. Howard said anything you have to force up there isn't right. Robin said it's not a forced thing. Howard said forget it and stop it. He said Robin ended up in the hospital. Robin said those times were her most healthy. Howard said coffee is for cups, not assholes. Robin said she has seen plenty of assholes drinking coffee.
Howard played another Baba Booey shout out where a bunch of people yelled it out at the same time. Howard said the next one was at the second hole. He said that was a nice clean one. Howard played that clip and then number 1 which was at the 10th hole. In that one the guy got out a strong Baba Booey.
Howard said they appreciate those. Robin said she hopes that lives on after them. Howard said He does too. Howard said He has a lot of email to read and phone calls to take. He said He has to take a break first.
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Howard came back and asked what Fred was playing. Howard said this isn't his approved version. Fred said it's a live version. Howard said He was busy so He didn't hear the whole thing. Howard said He doesn't like long jams like that. He said He hated it when the Allman brothers did that. Howard said you can jam but don't go nuts. Howard said that is not the right version to play. He asked Fred to never play it again. Robin said she enjoyed it. She didn't think there was too much jamming.
Howard said He got interrupted earlier trying to talk about JD being in love with Oprah. He said Oprah commented on that. Howard had some clips from Oprah's audio book where she said that she wants JD to eat out of her black ass. Howard said he's not sure it's worth it to put something like that together. Howard had her saying she wants JD to fuck her snatch too.
Howard said speaking of JD people wrote in about JD's porn choices. Howard said JD talked about going to BoobieBlog, Fleshbot and other sites. Howard asked what happens on Fleshbot. JD said they promote news and porn or anything sexual.
Howard read some email about that and people said that JD should seek help. Howard read about other sites and JD mentioned one called Egotastic. Howard said He likes sites where they show nip slips and things like that. Howard said there's also TheNipSlip.com and DrunkenStepfather.com and sites like that. JD said there's also HollywoodTuna.
Howard said on Fleshbot they have two gay guys. JD said they report on anything gay or straight. Howard read about a couple of other sties that fans sent in.
Howard said that one person asked them not to post pictures of Jon D'Ass but it's too late, they already did it. Howard said a lot of people wrote in about Medicated Pete talking to himself. Howard said people are begging him for the full 14 minutes. Howard said the guys insist it won't be a good special. Howard said He would love to hear the whole thing. Robin said she wasn't able to keep track of who was talking in that call.
Howard said they sent Sal out on the street to ask people about JD liking big asses and what they think. Howard had some audio of women on the street talking about how He needs to lose weight and his name DaBadAss isn't a good one. One woman said He should be DaFatAss.
Howard played another clip where Sal asked some guys what they thought of JD. Some guys said He looks like a geek. One guy told him to start his whole life over. Howard said JD has never been with a black woman. JD said outside a strip club, no. He said that He had a lot of dances from black women. Howard asked if He goes to black web sites. JD said sure He has.
Howard said JD blew his entire tax return on a stripper once. JD said she was Hispanic. Howard played another Oprah clip where she said she wants her black pussy to soak JD. He had a couple more clips that the guys edited to say things about JD. Howard said He has a million of them. He said He feels compelled to play them because they're so hard to put together. Howard said some are better than others. Howard said Richard Christy is a great drummer but this stuff might be his calling. He played another one that Richard had put together where she said she wants JD to eat her clit.
Howard played one where Oprah told JD to put his dick in a hot dog bun so she can blow him and eat at the same time. Howard asked where their Peabody award is.
Howard took a call from Jim in Raleigh who said that Jimmy Fallon did a flat Jimmy thing that's a rip off of Flat Ronnie. He said Jimmy gave it to Blake Lively and told her to hang out with it. Howard asked if Jimmy is cutting up Oprah clips and making her say things about JD because He won't put up with that.
Jim asked if He thinks Bobo would eat Howard's flesh. Howard said yes. He said He thinks Bobo would blow him too. He said they can ask him right now. Howard asked Bobo if He would blow him. Bobo said He draws the line there. Howard said He thinks if He had set it up He guarantees that He would do it. Bobo said no way to that.
Jim asked how far Bobo would go. Howard asked if he'd give him a hand job. Bobo said no. He laughed when they asked if he'd sniff Howard's ass. Bobo said He has his limits. Howard said Bobo would so jerk him off. Jim asked if He would want to see his penis. Bobo said no way. He said He would take a bullet for Howard. Howard said Bobo would jerk him off and He knows it. Bobo said he'd have to have a lot of liquor. Howard said they'll do that.
Robin said she watched a Gerard Depardieu movie where He ended up wrestling with a friend and then fucks him in the ass. She said that He tells the guy that's just what friends do.
Howard said that Bobo is so full of shit. Howard said He wishes that Jim had called him off the air so they could have done this as a bit with Bobo to find out if He would really blow him. Howard said He thinks if He wanted to show Bobo his penis he'd want to see it. Howard said He thinks Bobo would say yes in 2 seconds. Howard said he'd show it to him and then he'd ask if He wants to touch it. Bobo said He would never do that. Howard said He thinks that He would.
Howard asked if He would do it if He was wearing that cologne Portrait of a Lady. Bobo laughed. Howard let Bobo and Jim go a short time later.
Howard asked where He is. Steven said he's ''We're All Somebody From Somewhere'' which is his new album. He said he's in Nashville actually. Howard said the phone connection sounds weird. Howard asked how he's doing. Steven said he's good.
Howard asked what's going on with Aerosmith. Steven said they're one of the last survivors. Howard asked if they're doing Oldchella. Steven said they're not. Howard said they would be so good for that. Robin said maybe they'll be for the next go round. Steven said He was neck deep in this album getting it ready He just doesn't know.
Howard said they're fascinated by Steven and the band. Howard said Keith and Mick don't get along. Howard said they go out on tour and it's weird. Howard asked if Aerosmith is over or not. Steven said it is not over. He said He loves the band more than life itself. He said they go through divorces and remarrying and all of that. He said it's Joey's birthday today actually so happy birthday to him.
Howard asked if they are on hiatus. Steven said that's all it is. He said that the other guys do solo albums and now he's doing one. He said that it just happened to come into focus. He said he's in Nashville and He lost his mind down there. He said He was just brought there on a whim and He did the CMAs and He fell in love with the place. He said the band looked at it like it was a hiatus and wondered what they were going to do. He said He told the he's doing a solo project but that's it. He said Aerosmith still sounds good and in a couple of weeks they could be off and running again. Steven said He loves those guys more than life itself. He said He hopes they like this record. He said He hasn't spoken to those guys in forever. Howard asked how long it's been. Steven said it's maybe a month. He said He misses them to death.
Howard asked Steven if the new album, ''We're All Somebody From Somewhere'', becomes a monster hit and has some hit songs then fuck Aerosmith, right? Steven said no way to that. He said the guys were looking for another singer not that long ago. He said they'll never lose him and he's never leaving them. He said if this album is a hit it's just going to be good for them. Howard asked if they could go out on tour with a different singer. Howard asked who owns the name. Steven said they all do. Howard asked if Joe dies would He take the band out with another guitar player. Steven said that's some question. Howard said He needs to come up with an answer. Steven said He thinks that everyone would miss Joe or miss him if He died. He said if they can find another lead singer that can hit the notes He does then good for them. He said you never know what's going to happen. Howard said He would never go to an Aerosmith concert without Steven in it. Steven said neither would he.
Howard said Steven did this album which is a country album not but really. Steven said it's all over the place. He said it has a country flavor to it. He said that it's got really good lyrics and He wrote with great people. He said it's not just a me project. He said it's a we project. He said He go to produce with some great people. Howard said if this thing is huge He thinks it's goodbye Aerosmith. Steven said Aerosmith is too big. He said when they're on stage everything melts off.
Steven said He took 2 months off to heal after falling off stage. He said He was so pissed. He said that He was pissed that they didn't come visit him in the hospital but once they're on stage that all goes away.
Howard said that Steven is going to have to do smaller shows with the new tour. Howard asked if it would be more tempting to do an Aerosmith tour and make a fortune. Steven said He makes good money doing what he's doing. He said there is so much involved with money. He said He never thought about money ever. He said He just wants to play on stage with the guys.
Howard asked if He ever resented having to do an equal split with the band when He does so much of the work. Steven said He did think about that. He said He just needs a couple of days off after they play. He said that has always been respected. Steven said He just wants to go out and play.
Howard said there's no way the human voice can hold up under the pressure. Howard said He should have gotten a bigger cut because of that work He has to put in. Steven said everyone is still in the band and no one has left. He said that could be part of that. Steven said He loves the band and He wants to squash the thought that they're over. He said they're going to do a farewell tour next year but that's just because it's time. Howard asked if Joe knows that. Steven said He does. Robin asked how long they'll tour with this farewell tour. Steven said probably forever. He said KISS did 19 farewell tours.
Howard asked Steven how many people they'll be playing in front of. Steven said it'll be maybe 4,000. He said they did a show for 7,000 the other night.
Howard asked Steven about the new album and if it's country or acoustic. Steven said it's not acoustic. He said they have mandolins and banjos and even tuba. He said this album is all over the place. He said He did the title track for professional bull riding in America. He said that He put that on the record too.
Howard asked if he's still in touch with anyone from American Idol or is He done with that. Steven said he's done with it. He said He wishes they had done it a different way. He said Idol had its own thing and it was great but they could have done it differently. He said at one point they had 40 million people watching it in one night.
Howard gave Steven a plug for his tour which is starting next month. Howard asked if He really still enjoys working. Steven said he'll do it as long as He can.
Howard asked Steven if He hates getting older. Steven said He came up with a title for an album which was ''20 Summers'' and what He meant was that He maybe has 20 summers left if He lives that long. Howard said he's freaking out. He asked if Steven believes in god. Steven said yes. He said He thinks the energy in the body goes somewhere. Steven said that you do lose weight when you die so something is going somewhere. He said there is something big and wonderful out there but He doesn't know what it is. He said He has chased it and found it here. He said He still pinches himself wondering how he's the lead singer in Aerosmith.
Howard said that He liked his quote about Prince dying. He said it was a reminder for Steven to stay sober. Steven said He was talking to the surgeon general the other day about the epidemic of opiates. He asked what happens when you can't get them anymore.
Howard asked if he's going to behave himself or get seduced if He goes out on the road again. Howard said a lot of women will come on to him. Howard asked if he'll get a blow job in the bus. Steven said He doesn't know what will happen. Steven said it's a shame what happened to Prince. He said He didn't know what else to say about that. He said that the 500 pound gorilla is ready to jump on his ass in the parking lot.
Howard asked if He ever met Prince. Steven said He did. He said He didn't hang with him though. Howard said they say that He didn't do drugs but He had a hip problem and started taking pain meds and got hooked. Steven said someone should have said something to him like his man Erin did for him. He said He was engaged to her at one point but it didn't work. He said she's pregnant now and it's not his. Howard asked if he's sure about that. Steven said he's very sure. Steven said someone came to him and said He was a fucking mess and got him into Betty Ford. He said He got pissed but it was tough love and He had to do it. He said He knew He had to go in. Howard said maybe people did try with Prince. Robin said she thought He was scheduled to go into rehab. Howard said He was and it was the next day He was supposed to go.
Steven said that all artists have a hitch in their giggle. He said that they can all go off like that. He said He got caught up in that himself. Howard said He thinks the fear to going into rehab can get to you. Howard said you don't want to go in front of other people and go through that.
Steven said back in 1988 or so Jon Bon Jovi came to him asking what was going on because people wanted to see Aerosmith. He said they came back after that and they were huge again. Howard said they had one hit after another and it was a rebirth like he's never seen. Howard said they had done it before so they knew what they were doing. Howard said it was a miracle.
Steven said He loves writing songs and He still gets off on it. Howard said that He would think it's so great to be humming a tune and then the whole world hears the song and starts humming it. Steven said He has 15 of them. He said Howard will ask what He was taking when He hears this new album. Howard gave him a plug for his Out on a Limb tour and for the new album ''We're All Somebody From Somewhere''
Howard asked if Steven is in a car. Steven said he's actually walking around his house naked. Howard said He has a big schlong so He can do that. Howard said he's nude right now so He should go next door and knock on the door and introduce. Steven waved to his neighbor and said she just fainted. Howard said He would never walk around naked because of the size of his penis.
Howard asked how his ass looks. Steven said He works out and gets on the Elliptical all the time. He said He watches what He eats too.
Howard asked if Steven sits on his couch nude. Steven said He does. Howard asked if He worries about ass juice getting on it. Steven said not at all. He said it's not that loose. Howard gave Steven some more plugs and tried to wrap up with him. Steven said He loves them. Howard said He loves him too.
Howard asked how long he's been sober. Steven said it's 6 years now. Howard asked if He thinks about snorting a line of coke. Steven said He does and that's why He goes to meetings and has that 12 step program. He said it works for everything too. He said it's not just drugs and alcohol. He said it's for anger too. He said it's a way to get over being a human being. Howard said he'd like to go to a meeting with someone like Steven. Howard said He doesn't want to go with someone like Benjy. Steven said he'd take him and he'd never forget it. He said some of the greatest minds in music are there.
Howard wished Steven luck with everything and said He just heard from his neighbor asking him to put it away. Howard said He heard from Kid Rock that He has a big penis. Howard said Kid Rock said he's hung like a horse. Steven said He did hang out with Pam Anderson and felt He had to run into the room naked. Robin asked if it's thick or long. Steven said it's all of the above. Howard asked if he's ever tried Viagra. Steven said that He gets a headache from it so He can't take it. Howard asked if it's considered a drug. Steven said He never thought of that so He has to get his first day chip again.
Howard asked how long He is. Steven said He is 9 on the long and 4 on the round. Howard asked him to tap it on the phone. Steven banged it on something. Howard asked if anyone in the band is bigger. Steven said Brad is the biggest dick. Howard asked if He was measuring from the balls or the taint. Steven said He measures from where it begins. Howard gave Steven some more plugs and asked if he's getting political at all. Steven said he's afraid to get into it. He said He did stop trump from using ''Dream On.'' He said their songs are for causes and not campaigns. Howard said goodbye to Steven again. Howard asked if he's circumcised. Steven said He is. Howard let him go after that.
Howard said if He had a hog like that he'd be so masculine. He was moaning thinking about it. Howard broke into his mother's voice talking about Steven's 9 inch long penis. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said it's not good to go pee after talking to Steven Tyler about his 9 inch penis. Howard said that song was from 1997 by the way. Howard said He whipped out his small penis and can't even really whip it out. Howard said He wishes He had half of what Steven has. Howard said He must be bigger than 9 inches when he's flaccid. Howard said it must just get hard. Howard said Robin has been with guys like that. He asked if they get bigger hard. Robin said they can. She said that can be frightening. Howard said a 7 inch enema tube is bigger than him. He said Robin can handle that.
Howard said it's not dignified. Howard said Steven has like 5 of his penises. Howard said everyone needs to have the same size. He said He feels so inferior. He said He has measured it hard and he's 6 inches. Howard said that's okay but flaccid it's tiny. He said that He looks at himself in the mirror and he's like ''Ugh.''
Howard said He used to use a hair gel called Sebastian Wet. He said every day after a shower He would put it in. Howard said it's the perfect product. Then one day they change it and now it's shitty. He said for some reason companies feel they have to change things. Howard said it doesn't hold anymore. He said it's not thick enough. Howard said He got into a panic. Howard said He bought the stuff up on the internet and now he's out. Howard said the new stuff isn't half as good. Howard said He has tried others and they're not as good. Howard said his assistant found 15 bottles on the internet. Howard said they're the last bottles on the planet. Howard said He has 15 bottles now. Robin asked how long that will last. Howard said He used to treat it like water. He said now He has it figured out. Howard said he'll only use it on special occasions. Howard said the regular stuff he'll use every day. Howard said when he's at work and He has a guest he'll put the good stuff in. Howard said today He has the good stuff in. Howard said He shouldn't have put it in today though. Howard said that He figured the 15 bottles can last about a year. They're not that big.
Howard said how about that Steven Tyler walking around naked in his house. Howard said Kid Rock told him about how big He was when He saw him. Robin said she thinks he's right about that story. Howard said He could never walk around like that. He said if He had a big penis He would do that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said He is 27 years old with Asperger's and he's never had phone sex. Howard said he's not doing that again. The caller asked him to teach him how to do it. Howard went into his woman's voice and tried to have phone sex with him. The guy, Ronell, was saying yes when Howard asked how big his penis is. Howard tried again and Ronell said he's 3 inches. Howard asked for his credit card information and Ronell said He doesn't have one. Howard said fuck you then. Howard said it's good he's only 3 inches. He said he's really tight so He doesn't want big cock.
Howard asked Ronell if He has a big afro. Ronell said He has a small ass. Howard said this guy is so bad at this. Howard kept going and talked to him about how dark skinned He is. Howard asked if He has any bottles of the old Sebastian. Ronell said He does. Howard asked if he's darker than Cardboard. Ronell said He is. Howard said that's great.
Howard asked Ronell if He looks like Wayne Brady. Ronell said He does. Howard said he's so wet from his horrible answers and personality. Robin said she thought He was a robot when He called in. Howard asked if He is a robot. Ronell said he's not. Howard spent another minute doing that and then told Ronell he's not a lot of fun. Howard said he's a disaster. Robin asked if he's a virgin. Ronell said He is. Howard said He won't get laid there. Howard said He likes guys with lazy eyes. Howard asked if He has that. Ronell said yes. Howard said He reminds him of Forrest Whittaker. He asked if He has blotchy skin like Benjy. Ronell said it's dark brown skin. Howard said He thinks he's done with this now. Howard asked if He is touching his cock right now and if He came. Ronell said He did.
Howard said he's so glad He got him off. He asked where He came. Ronell said He came on his hand. Howard said that's hot. He was still in his woman voice as He was talking to Ronell. Howard told him to lick the cum off his hand. Ronell said absolutely. Howard said He really has to go. Ronell said okay. Howard let him go after that.
Howard told Fred that sucked so He should get him off. Howard said that was not satisfying. Fred played the ''Whoop, whoop'' clip. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's not that big but he's 5 inches around. He said he's 6 and a half inches long. Howard told him to go have that conversation by himself somewhere. Howard asked how he measured. The caller said he did it with a tailor's tape. Howard said he thinks 4 inches is a lot. The caller said he disagrees. He said he thinks women would disagree too. Howard said he has to get out of this.
Robin read a story about Robert Plant turning down a lot of money to do a reunion with Led Zeppelin. Howard said maybe he can't sing that well anymore and maybe he wants to preserve the heyday. Howard said that he would admire that if he's not a money grabber. Howard said he's saying fuck it and not doing it.
Robin read a story about Selma Blair having an outburst on a flight the other day and she had to be taken out on a stretcher. Howard said that's always funny when you have to be removed. Robin said she lost control. Howard said that's the best. Howard asked what she did. Robin said it looks like she took prescription medication with alcohol. Robin said they're not sure what kind of medication it was. Robin said Selma was yelling out ''He burns my private parts'' and things like that.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk and said that a buddy of his was saying that Jeff should get another opinion before getting his arm cut off. Jeff wasn't there. Howard said he calls all the time and he's not there. Howard asked if Fred was in a movie with Selma Blair. Fred said it may have been Cruel Intentions. He said they weren't in the same scene though.
Jeff finally got on the phone so Howard told him he should think about that arm thing. Jeff said maybe he can just walk around in his life in pain. Howard said he told his friend that and it seems like there is some nerve endings in there that are working. Howard asked if he's going to just get it cut off or talk to someone. Jeff said he's going to talk to the doctor on July 1. He asked Howard to set it all up for him. Howard said no way. Howard said he's not saying don't cut it off but be sure he wants to get it removed. Howard said you have to think it through and have a good doctor. Howard let Jeff go a short time later.
Robin said when she broke her wrist they didn't put her under completely. She said they block your arm and it was awful having to lug that limb around. Robin said it's like having a pet that doesn't respond. Howard said he told Jeff to look into having it cut off. Howard said his buddy told him to be sure there's nothing he can do to fix it. Howard said he thought he had already seen a doctor.
Robin read a story about a pilot on a private plane and it experienced engine trouble. Robin said it could have come down on a beach or land it in the water. Robin said the 62 year old said that it was easy to make the decision to land it in the water. Robin said he didn't want to hurt anyone on land. Robin said he wasn't sure what would happen. Robin said he put it down on the water and then a teen lifeguard saved him. The lifeguard was on his first day of work.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Beth is friends with any ex-boyfriends on Facebook and if it bothers him. Howard said she's not and he's not sure if it would bother him. Howard said Facebook just leads to problems. Howard said it is fun to see how old friends have aged. The caller said no one ages well. He said you just need hair and you look like you've aged well.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said it was so funny when Steven Tyler said that Pooh Bear produced his album. He said he's a hard core rap guy. Howard said producers like to work in different genres. King said the albums never sell when they do. Howard said that's not true. Howard said a lot of people who produce music do well in different genres. Gary said Rick Rubin did it. King said he doesn't do it now. Howard said he's a fucking maniac. Gary said Rick produced Kanye West. Howard said King doesn't know what he's talking about. King asked how he can argue with him about rap records. Howard said this is stupid. Howard said Rick worked on a bunch of rap albums and he worked on rock records too. Howard said King is wrong and he's arguing. Howard said he's just being silly. King asked why he's not fun when he's right. Howard said he can never admit when he's wrong. King said all he said is that the albums don't sell. Howard said he just gave him examples.
King asked if a hot rapper do you think they're going to call Rick Rubin for a track. Howard said that's up to them. Howard said thank you and said he just made a statement about not selling albums if producers are in different genres. Howard asked why he's in all of these dumb conversations.
Howard had another guy on the phone who said that Selma Blair is the girl from that ''nigger fuck me hard'' movie. Howard asked what that movie is called. Fred said it's ''Storytelling'' and he played the audio for Howard. Howard said this is his ringtone. Howard said that is some crazy fucking movie. He said that's crazy.
Robin read a story about Don McClean settling his divorce after throwing out his pre-nup. Robin said he must have made a lot of money with his one hit song. Howard said he can't get the Joe Walsh song out of his head. He said that line about his Maseratti doing 185. Howard said he was watching an episode of Daryl's House with Joe on it and they were playing together. Howard said it was really good. He said he was shocked when Joe joined The Eagles. He said he's so good.
Robin read a story about the company Alphabet that used to be Google. Robin said that the chairman was talking the other day and he says that artificial intelligence will transform tech in the next 5 years. Robin said he doesn't think there is a big possibility of it turning evil. Howard said we'll be able to control the machines. Howard said of course it won't be a problem.
Robin read about how Taylor Swift was making out with Loki from the Thor movies. Robin said that she apparently just broke up with someone and now she's with Tom Hiddleston. Howard said she's very sexual. He said she loves having dudes. Howard said some girls need a breather but not her. He said he digs that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how the Times Square cartoon characters will be confined to certain areas. Robin said they want to keep them from harassing tourists for tips. Robin said they have signs pointing people to where they can get pictures taken. Howard said there is common sense at work. Howard had a clip of a panhandler talking to Sal about the worst people who don't give him money. He said the Jews are the worst and black people steal his cup. The guy was also saying that he's voting for Trump.
Robin read about the Nebraska toddler who was killed at Disney in Florida having a funeral this week. Howard said a friend told him it was 9:30 at night when the kid was attacked. Howard said he thought it was in the afternoon. Howard said he'd never go near water at night in Florida. Howard said he won't even walk around at night in Florida when he's down at his house. Howard said the day is over and he's inside. He said if the whole world was like him it would be great. Howard said if you go by a swamp something like that is going to happen. Robin said they say it happened at 9:16pm. Howard said now they have a fence up but that doesn't help that kid. Howard said it's dangerous to go out at night. He said that's when all bad things happen. Howard said he just stays home.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks it's a great thing for him to show off his art and he should be on Instagram doing that. Howard said he's not against Instagram but he's not on it because he's on Facebook and Twitter already and that's enough of a distraction. Howard said he's not looking to be criticized on Instagram. The caller said Steve Brandano puts up art on his. Howard said he doesn't need people to see his art like Steve does. Howard said he sees people who post their art and it's shit. Howard said he'll look at Casper Friedrick or someone like that in a book. Howard said Steve Brandano is spending too much time drawing at work. He said he's going to look into that. Howard said Picasso didn't have Instagram.
Robin read about Anton Yelchin and the car he was driving that rolled over him had a recall for a transmission that could be left in neutral without the driver knowing it. Robin said the police are calling it an accident but investigations will continue.
Robin read that a lock of David Bowie's hair is going up for auction. Howard said he loves Bowie but that's disgusting. Howard said people collect such crap. Robin said they used to cut up the Popes and give body parts to churches. Robin said you can go and look at relics of them. Howard said that's disgusting. Howard said Benjy should buy the hair and glue it to his head. Robin said the hair is expected to sell for over $4,000. Robin said there's also a Hitler jacket up for auction. Howard said now that's something he's interested in. Robin read about how much the man spent on that stuff. Howard said these collectors are such assholes. Howard said Sal wanted to buy Elvis' hair on Ebay. Howard asked what they wanted for that. Sal came in and said it was over $10,000. Howard asked what he would have paid. Sal said maybe 4 grand. Howard said that's money that he should put into his kid's education. Sal said this was a long time ago. He said he would have put it in his basement on display. Sal said he has all of the Gilligan's Island cast autographs. Howard asked how he got all of those. Sal said he got some on Ebay. He said he hung them all up but then his wife took them down and put them in a box. Howard said she's right for doing that. Sal said she did it without telling him. Howard said this is the mentality of the person who buys something like that. Sal said he has a poster of Howard in his basement and that's still up. Howard said that he can respect. Robin read more about the auction stuff and how they tried to stop it because of the Hitler stuff. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about an experimental Zika vaccine that's going to start testing. Robin said that they say it will start in the next few weeks. Robin said they should have results later this year.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Carter asking all governments to commit to peace. Robin said he was at a gathering of human rights people when he made this speech.
Robin read a story about a Muslim rights group that is looking to change people's perception. Robin said Sal had a change of mind and an awakening this morning.
Robin read a story about Chicago having another violent weekend. Robin said 13 people were killed over the weekend.
Robin read a story about pot use in Colorado not increasing with teens after the legalization. Robin said they say it hasn't gone up any more than before it was legalized.
Robin read a story about the heat wave going on in the west. Robin said Phoenix could hit 115 today. Robin said in Palm Springs they just missed tying a record when they hit 122. Howard asked if Robin has ever been in anything that intense. Robin said she has been in triple digits in the desert. She said that people would collapse in that kind of heat. Robin said they also say that it's too hot to fly when it's over 117 degrees so they have to watch that at the airports.
Robin read a story about a woman who is suing Donald Trump for rape when she was an underage teen. Robin said that Trump's people are saying her claims are outrageous.
Robin read a story about how a group wants to set up a Fart In to keep the democratic convention out of Philadelphia. Fred played a bunch of fart sounds over Robin as she explained that story.
Robin read about the Cavaliers and Warriors game being the highest rated since Michael Jordan's championship run. Howard said it was annoying when they were interviewing Lebron and they kept having to cut it off. Howard had some audio of that when they would silence the audio feed. Howard said that's why he left terrestrial radio. He said you want to hear what he has to say and they silence it. Howard said all they would have heard was maybe ''shit'' on the air. Howard had a couple of other clips he played. He had one of J.R. Smith crying about his dad. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:05am.
Howard started the show talking about how someone yelled at him for not having the P at the end of his ''Whoop, whoops.'' He said he's been getting a lot of positive email about Wolfie. He said yesterday he should have read this. He had Wolfie on the phone and told him about how he got some good feedback about the JD observation thing and the other things he's done lately.
Wolfie asked Howard who he is most interested in out of the latest Wack Packers. Howard said this is weird for him. He said he just asked a lame question after hitting home runs. Howard said he's asking a Bobo-esque question. Robin said she's interested in knowing. Howard said he thinks Wolfie just blew it. Robin said she thinks it's a valid question. She said they have had some stand out Wack Packers in the past. Robin said that there might be a void in the top of the Wack Pack.
Howard said he has Bobo on the phone so maybe he has a better question. Bobo said he has a question he crafted. He asked Howard who he would say on the staff has put themselves in a dangerous situation. Howard said Wolfe's question wasn't this bad. Howard said he didn't even ask a question. Howard asked what the question was. Bobo wondered what kind of dangerous situations the staff have put themselves in. He said Gary did a thing where he dressed up like a clown and almost got killed by a bull. Howard said that's like the shittiest question he could have asked. He said it's so bad it's beyond bad. He apologized to Wolfie for comparing him to Bobo.
Fred did his impression of Bobo asking the question. Howard got in on that a little bit too. That led to them talking about the kid who was killed by an alligator in Florida. Howard said he was wondering why the kid was out at 9:30 at night and it turns out the parents were watching fireworks. Howard said the kid didn't care about fireworks.
Bobo said a girl got her arm bitten off in a lake down there a few months ago. Howard said maybe this is a chance for him to play the Bobo clips he has that Wolfie recorded. Wolfie said he has to do that.
Howard said he has an answer for Wolfie's question about the Wack Packers. He said he'll talk about that after he plays the Bobo clips. Howard played a song parody about Bobo and his awful questions and bad toupee. Howard asked Bobo if he enjoys those songs. Bobo said he doesn't really but he has a thick skin so he can handle it.
Howard said they found out why Bobo earned his name when he was growing up. He played a clip of Bobo talking to Wolfie about how kids called him Bobo the Clown when he was growing up and he kind of liked the name. Howard said it sticks in your head for negative reasons. He said Bobo said he ''had it in his craw'' so he asked Bobo what that means. Bobo said it's something that sticks with you in your mind. Howard said that's kind of not what that means. Howard said it's your gut. Bobo said okay. Howard and Fred did their Bobo impressions and goofed on him for a short time about how he got the name Bobo.
Howard said Wolfie made the trip down to Orlando. He said he noticed the toupee raises above his head about 3 inches when it's hot down there. Howard said he's seen it do that up there in New York too. Howard said it seems like it's not attached. Wolfie wrote that water pours out from under his toupee too. He had really sweaty armpit hair when Wolfie saw him. Bobo said it was like 99 degrees out that day. He said he was walking on the trail. Howard said he was wearing a tank top too. Howard said that's never a good idea. Howard said if you're a young guy and you have guns then you show it. Wolfie said it was like his grandma wearing a tank top. Bobo said he's in pretty good shape.
Howard said Bobo bought a crypt to be buried in because he's afraid of being in the ground. Bobo said that's true. Howard played a clip of Bobo talking about how he was bullied about the white socks he wore as a kid. He said he had them stolen and he was called a faggela when he wore them.
Howard said he has Bobo's Toupee on the phone. He picked up on him and locked him into the conversation for a few seconds and then gave up. Bobo's Toupee said ''Fuck Wolfie'' before Howard hung up.
Howard played another clip of Bobo talking about how he's one of the Long Island boys like Seinfeld, Jackie Martling, Eddie Murphy and guys like that. Bobo said his stomping grounds was the Hamptons. Robin said Bobo was close with Jackie but that's about it.
Howard said Wolfie talked to Bobo about how he ended up at the hospital when his third daughter was born. Bobo said he doesn't want to talk about that again. Howard said he's going to play the clip. Bobo said his kids crucify him over that. Howard said you have to hear how kooky this is. Howard played the clip and Bobo talked about how he went to the hospital and his son told him he was crazy for going. Bobo said he wasn't doing any harm going in there. He said he looks back now and thinks he was crazy for doing that. Howard said Bobo only thinks he was crazy because he told him he was. Bobo said that's not true.
Howard asked how old his kids were back then. Bobo said they were teenagers. Howard said even teens knew he was out of his mind. Howard said Bobo wasn't even on his radar that much back then. Bobo said he wasn't really Bobo back then. He said there wasn't even any security there. He said it was ridiculous. Howard said he walked in with his parents. Howard said his parents were so out of it they didn't know. Howard said his mother is the worst at that. He said she'd just invite him to go along with them. Fred did his impression of Bobo talking about all of that stuff.
Howard said in this next clip Wolfie talks to Bobo about the trail he walks on. Howard started the clip and Bobo was talking about how he looks at the show as a blank canvas. Howard stopped it and said that's what he says about the show. Howard said he is the one creating, not Bobo. Bobo said he knows that. He said he used to talk to his class about that when he was teaching. Howard said that would be applicable. Robin said it's not the same thing.
Howard asked what he thought was going to happen when he came to the hospital. Bobo said he just wanted to meet him. He said he left after he did that. Howard said that was great.
Howard got back to the clip where Bobo talked about how he's inspired to write his questions when he's listening to the show and down at the trail. Bobo said when he was ''banded'' from the show he spent a lot of time down there.
Howard said in this next clip Bobo talks about his most memorable moment from the show. Bobo said it was the day he was down there when he thought the world was going to end. Bobo said he regrets leaving his family alone that day and went all the way into Manhattan. Howard said Bobo put this fear into his kid telling him that the world was going to end. Howard asked Bobo if he told the kid the world was going to end. Bobo said he didn't tell him that. He said the other kids knew what he was doing that day. Howard said they were ready for the world to end. Bobo said that caused a lot of problems for him. He said it took his wife a long time to forgive him.
Howard said Bobo was going to live in an abandoned missile silo or something. Bobo said he had a lot of supplies to help him survive down there. Bobo said it was a pretty secure place so no one knew about it. He said it was a well kept secret.
Howard took a call from a kid who said that he was Bobo's son. The kid asked Bobo to stop calling the show and stop embarrassing them. He said he's an idiot. Howard thanked Bobo's son for calling in.
Howard asked what Bobo did with the supplies he had in the silo. Bobo said he gave them away. He said he kept a box of rations. He said he has glow sticks and he has enough to light up Florida. Howard asked Bobo why he didn't hold on to that stuff for a few days just in case the end of the world was still coming. Bobo said he did hold on to them for a little while. Howard said imagine Bobo's family survives and the animals become smarter than Bobo. Bobo said that Howard made him aware that it's pointless to survive on that stuff because you'll just die a few weeks later.
Howard asked Bobo what he was asking earlier. Bobo brought it up again and asked who on the staff has put themselves in a dangerous situation. He said maybe someone will come forward. Howard said that's awful. He said no one cares and Bobo kind of knows the answer. He said Benjy got hit in the ankle with a chain once. Howard let Bobo and Wolfie go after that. He played a song parody about Bobo as they were going to break.
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Howard asked if Shuli thinks that she's in love with him but can't act on it because he's married. Shuli said there could be something there. Howard asked if it was all business at the parade. Shuli said they were getting ready to be dropped off and she was smearing on this lotion and she asked him to out it on her back.
Shuli said this Mermaid Parade is the last thing you'd expect her to go to. Howard said she hates all of the costumes at the parade because here is nudity but she's compelled to go there. Shuli said he thinks she hates her parents for what they did to her and she also still loves them. He said this is kind of an F-you to them who stopped her from going to these things as a kid.
Howard said this was out in Coney Island. Howard said this parade is different because all of the people dress up in ocean related costumes and there are a lot of cross dressers in it. Howard said that blows Underdog Lady's mind. Howard said she was late to show up to this event and her friend Phil came with her. Shuli said that he's been doing this for like 20 years and not documenting it. Shuli said he's like her assistant. Howard asked if he's Phil or Mr. Phil. Shuli said he's just Phil.
Howard said Underdog was an hour and a half late because her bus didn't show up. Howard said she was already stressed out from that. Howard played a clip of Underdog Lady crying over being late. She said that the bathrooms were closed on the lower levels. Shuli was trying to comfort her. She said she's having an awful time. Howard said she wants to hang out with her and see this from beginning to end.
Shuli said Underdog was in costume and last time he did this she was in tears too. He said everything has to go to plan or this happens. Howard said he is most fascinated in Underdog Lady. He said they got a car and Underdog had a tough time getting her seat belt on. Howard said in this clip she's in a panic over that. The first clip he played was the wrong one so he threw out his notes and tried again. He played the clip of Underdog freaking out not being able to get her seat belt on.
Howard asked what she's so worried about. Shuli said everything that's out of her comfort zone she freaks out over. Robin said everything is out of her comfort zone. Howard said then she breaks into song on the drive over. Shuli said she's singing Christmas songs that have been translated into Latin. Howard played a clip of Underdog doing that. Howard said then she sings Joy to the World in Latin. Howard played that next. Howard asked Shuli what he's doing while she's doing this. Shuli said he's watching the Uber driver to make sure he doesn't veer into traffic.
Howard said he drew a picture of her once. He said it's pretty good. He said he did it when he was first starting to draw portraits. He drew Beetlejuice and then Underdog. Shuli said he should give it to her as a gift. He said she'd love that.
Howard said they get to the parade and then she's trying to put on suntan lotion and she can't get to some spots. Howard said then Shuli has to apply it to her. Shuli said she was very bossy about him putting it on her. Howard played that clip and Underdog told him not to forget about the backs of her shoulders. Shuli put the lotion on her. He said she was sweating before she was even in the parade. He said it was like putting lotion on sweaty stucco.
Howard asked why Phil didn't do it. Shuli said he conveniently had to do something else. He said he's not sure how Phil has been doing this for 27 years. Howard asked if he popped a rod while he did it. Shuli laughed and said he was half chubbed.
Howard played another clip of Shuli talking to Underdog about how she prepares for the parade. Underdog said she takes her glasses off and puts her hair down. Shuli said there were tits everywhere at this parade and she was trying not to look. He said the people are having a blast.
Howard said Shuli says to Underdog asking if she would change anything about the dress code. Shuli said one of the organizers asked how it was going and then she goes into this diatribe. Underdog was yelling at the guy that there should be a dress code.
Howard read that she sleeps in her costume the night before. Howard read some notes about her and said that she will take pictures with people but she gets angry when they don't send copies even though she doesn't give out her email address.
Howard played more of Underdog yelling at the organizer about the dress code. Shuli told her to go have fun. Howard said this parade isn't for her. Shuli said that she's surrounded by tits when she's yelling about this stuff. He said two feet away from her is a dude with an inflated cock and balls. Shuli said he asked her about what she thought about that and she saw it and said ''No, that's not appropriate!''
Howard said Underdog wants a lot of room around her when she's in the parade because she needs to dance. Howard said she doesn't like the parade at all. She wants space.
Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to Underdog what she liked about the parade that day. Underdog said she liked it when she had plenty of space around her so she could dance.
Howard said a few years ago Underdog Lady won for best sea creature at the parade but she wasn't dressed as one. Howard said to answer Wolfie's question he is most fascinated by Underdog Lady. Shuli said she is willing to do a show there but she has to have Phil and him there. Shuli said he can mention Howard's name in front of her now and she doesn't freak out. Howard said the fans will fuck with her if they give her a show. Shuli said that Riley Martin was able to do the show without too many people fucking with him. He said it might work for her too.
Howard said to win the picture of him with Joey Boots in a steel frame... they ask Underdog Lady some questions and she has to guess if she'll get it right. Howard saw the picture of Joey Boots and him and said it's lovely. Gary said it was sent to them accidentally and it almost ended up in the garbage. Howard said one man's garbage is another man's treasure or something like that.
Howard said they asked Underdog who Jay Z is married to. Jill said no way she'll know. Howard said this is a practice question. She was right. Underdog didn't know.
Howard said he'll throw in a JD breakfast wrapper too. JD said he has some spoons but he doesn't eat breakfast. Howard threw that in too.
Howard said they asked Underdog Lady if she knows what Netflix is. Jill said she thinks Underdog will know. Howard played her answer and Underdog said it's something about getting pay per view movies on TV. Howard said close enough on that one.
Howard said they asked Underdog if she knows what A-Rod's name is. Jill said no she won't know that. She was right. Underdog said she doesn't know.
Howard said get one more right and the game is over. Howard said they asked Underdog what company makes the iPhone. Jill said she won't know. Howard played Underdog's answer and she said Motorola. Howard said Jill won the game. Howard said she just won a metal print of Joey Boots sitting on the couch in the studio and a spoon from JD. Howard thanked Shuli and Robin and went to break after that.
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Robin said she started watching that show with Elvis' granddaughter. Howard said the mother is Lisa Marie Presley and they had Riley Keough. Howard said it's called The Girlfriend Experience. Howard said it's soft core porn. Howard said she shows her tits. Robin said she saw an episode of that and it finally started going somewhere. Howard said he and his wife watch shows together. Howard said he prefers to watch alone. Howard said he's like Underdog. Robin said she thinks they'd like Outlander. Howard said he hasn't watched that.
Howard said Magic Johnson's kids have a show. He said their son is way over the top and they accept him totally. Robin said they probably thought he was going to be another great basketball player. Howard said he's too affluent for that. Howard said you have to be poor. Howard said this kid looks exactly like Magic Johnson or maybe Cookie Johnson. Howard said the kid is real girly and the daughter is super hot. Howard said she has a great body. He said he's mesmerized by them. Howard said the son is trying to get a career going but he doesn't need one. Howard said he wants to be in the fashion industry. Howard said the kids are fascinating in a way like the Kardashians are. Howard said he's all caught up in that.
Howard said there are so many good gay and transgender shows. He said he's watching the Caitlyn Jenner show. Howard said he's watching a transgender camp show. Robin said she hasn't found that one yet.
Howard played a clip of Christopher Mad Dog Russo introducing what they had coming up today. It was she real Mad Dog talking about a spelling contest they're going to have with Ronnie and a 12 year old. Howard said they asked Sal's son to come in to compete against Ronnie. Howard said Ronnie's spelling and grammar is pretty atrocious. Howard said Sal's son is in 6th grade.
Howard said that Ronnie is a good sport and he'll play the kid. Howard asked Robin who she thinks will win. Robin said he would always put her money on the kid. Howard said the kid is smart but not a spelling bee champ. Howard said Ronnie thinks the game is rigged but it's not. He swears. Howard played a couple of song parodies about Ronnie not being able to spell.
Howard said one of the women sounds like Popeye. Howard replayed some of the call and one of the women did sound a bit like Popeye. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and had Ronnie come in. Howard said Ronnie was cursing in front of Sal's son as soon as he got there. Howard asked what he's all agitated over. Ronnie asked what the fuck he thinks he's agitated with. Howard said Ronnie thinks the game is rigged but he swears it's not. Howard said the 6th grader hasn't been given the answers. Ronnie said this is bullshit. He said everyone knows about things in advance. He said he didn't know. He said he could have said he doesn't want to do it. Howard said he can say that now. Ronnie said he'll do it. Howard said he's getting some good air time. Ronnie said making him look like an asshole isn't good air time.
Ronnie said he knows Jason put this together. He said Jason and Will are behind it. Howard said Sal is too. Howard said he was told about it on Monday. Ronnie said he knows but he's willing to do it.
Howard said he heard that Ronnie cursed in front of Sal's son. Ronnie said all he said is ''This is bullshit.'' He said it's not like he's not hearing that in school. Robin said try to be above that. Howard said a lot of people look up to him. Ronnie said Robin doesn't even know who her interns are. Howard asked if Robin is better now. Robin said she doesn't have an intern now.
Howard said Ronnie cut a song and he'll play it before they bring the kid in. Howard said Ronnie renamed the city ''Titty City'' and he laughed. Howard said that led to this new song. Howard said Ronnie thinks it's going to be a hit. Howard played the parody that Ronnie sang. Howard had a laugh over that.
Howard said Ronnie also said the f-word in front of Aaron. Howard said this is Sal's son Aaron. He said that all of Sal's kids names start with A. Aaron knows Ronnie from being at his cook out last year. Howard said they're both at a 6th grade level.
Howard said he noticed that all of the boys have names that start with A. Aaron said people have pointed that out. He said that his mother told him she just wanted them all to be A. He said it's really weird. He said people get confused by it too. Howard asked Ronnie if he knows how to spell Aaron. Ronnie said some people spell it ''Arron.'' Howard said it's Aaron. Howard said it's never ''Arron.''
Howard asked Aaron about Ronnie cursing as soon as he got there. Aaron said when they walked in his dad asked if Ronnie was ready and Ronnie said ''I don't want to f'n do this.'' Howard said he's sorry he had to hear that.
Howard asked Aaron how old he thinks Ronnie is. Aaron said maybe in his mid-80s. Ronnie checked his ears to see if he had an ear piece in. Ronnie said he knows his father. Howard asked how old Aaron thinks he is. Aaron said he would say maybe around his 50s. Howard said that's close. Ronnie said he's far off. Howard asked who he thinks was president when Ronnie was born. Aaron said he doesn't know. Howard asked if it was Lincoln or Washington. Aaron said he really doesn't know.
Howard said Aaron is in 6th grade and they wanted to see how he'd do against Ronnie. Howard asked if he knows what his dad does there. Aaron said he writes jokes and gets on the air sometimes. Ronnie said Sal is the class idiot. Howard said no.
Howard asked Aaron what he's going to do this summer. Aaron said they're going to a house in July to just hang out and have a fun time. Howard asked if Larry Caputo is going to be there. Aaron said that he might visit. Ronnie said he's been hanging out with Larry and he's going to steal him away from his dad.
Howard asked Aaron why his dad steals straws from McDonald's. Aaron said he takes a whole bucket of them. Howard said that's embarrassing. Aaron said his dad tells him times are tough so that's why he takes them. Robin said that's stealing. Ronnie said they used to take salt and pepper packets. Aaron said they do that too. He said they take sugar too.
Howard said Aaron loves video games and he likes Call of Duty. He said he loves Math and Science in school and he loves Bob's Burgers on TV. Howard said now they're going to play the game. Howard said Aaron can't lose. He said if he does get beaten then he was beaten by an 80 year old guy. He said if he wins then he beat an 80 year old. Howard said he's going to give him a prize if he wins or loses.
Howard said that this is it for Ronnie. Howard said it's time to play Spelling Bee. Howard said the first word up is ''vegetable.'' Aaron spelled it ''VEGETABLE.'' Howard said that is correct. Howard gave him one point.
Ronnie's word was ''penguin.'' Ronnie spelled it ''PENGUIN'' and got it right.
Aaron's second word was ''several.'' Aaron spelled it correctly. Ronnie's second word was ''predator.'' Ronnie spelled it ''PREDAITOR'' and got it wrong. Aaron spelled it correctly.
The next word for Ronnie, which was a sixth grade word, was ''physical.'' Ronnie spelled it ''PSYICAL'' and got to wrong. Aaron spelled it correctly.
Howard said the next word for Ronnie is ''seethe'' and Ronnie spelled it ''SEETH.'' Howard said that's wrong. Aaron spelled it ''Ci...'' Howard said that's wrong. He said neither one got that one right.
Howard said the next word for Ronnie is ''February.'' Ronnie spelled it correctly. Howard asked him to repeat it. Ronnie said he heard it. Howard said he thinks he heard something wrong. Ronnie did it again and got it right.
Howard gave Aaron his next word which was ''faculty.'' Aaron spelled it correctly. Ronnie's next word was ''receipt.'' Ronnie spelled it correctly. Howard said he'll call it a day because Ronnie seems to be suffering. Ronnie told him to keep going.
Howard gave Aaron ''intelligence.'' Aaron spelled it ''INTELIGANCE'' and got it wrong. Ronnie spelled it correctly.
Howard gave Aaron the word ''caravan.'' Aaron asked him to use it in a sentence. Howard and Ronnie gave him sentences. Aaron spelled it ''CAROVAN'' and missed it. Ronnie spelled it correctly and tied up the game.
Howard said they need a tie breaker. Howard had to look over the list to find something. He spent a minute finding a word that would be fair. Howard said the next word is ''rhythm.'' Ronnie spelled it ''RYTHEM'' so it went to Aaron. He spelled it ''RHTHM.'' They were still tied.
Howard found another word for Aaron. This time it was ''museum.'' Aaron spelled it ''MUSEUM'' and he got it right. Howard said he just won. Howard said he should give Ronnie a chance though. He gave Ronnie the word ''ultimatum.'' Ronnie spelled it ''ULTAMATIUM'' and got it wrong. Howard said he came close. Howard told him how to spell it. Howard said Ronnie has nothing to be ashamed of. Howard said he thought he was going to do worse. Robin said he still lost at a 6th grade level. Howard said he's just trying to make him feel better. Aaron said his dad thought he would have no chance. Howard said Aaron is trying to make him feel better. He told him to keep going. Howard said Aaron has a lot more education and Ronnie is all out of education.
Howard said Aaron took on Ronnie and he handled it well. Robin said he handled it better than Ronnie did. Howard said he handled it better than he did because Aaron didn't curse but both he and Ronnie did. Ronnie asked what the kid won. Howard said he got him an Amazon gift certificate for a couple hundred bucks and a couple other things. Howard said he thinks that what they got. Jason confirmed.
Howard said Ronnie will also be taking on Aaron in the 9 times table. Howard said they won't play that yet. Howard asked where Sal is. Aaron said he wants him in there to see his reaction. Howard said he heard he was nervous. Sal said he beat the old fart so good for him. Howard said his son clearly takes after his wife. Ronnie asked when he's going to take on his father. Howard said he'd beat his father. Sal ended up cursing in front of his own son. Howard asked what's going on with these adults. Howard said Aaron is such a beautiful guy and he doesn't need profanity. Aaron said he doesn't have a problem with those words. Sal said they do correct him when he uses them.
Howard asked what advice Aaron would give to Ronnie. Aaron said he thought he would do worse. He said that's because of what his dad told him. He said if he knows there's another spelling bee he should study. Howard said that's good advice. Robin said Ronnie shouldn't have had trouble. He said it was a sixth grader he was taking on. Howard said Ronnie loves to have fun and he's out having fun instead of studying. Howard asked Aaron what he thinks Ronnie should be doing for fun. Aaron thought about it and Robin asked if ''sitting up'' is something he could do. Aaron laughed and said yes.
Howard asked Aaron who he loves more, his mom or dad. Aaron said he can't do that. Sal told him to just say it. He said just be happy Ronnie isn't his dad. Howard wrapped up the spelling bee and went to break.
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Howard took a call from a guy who said they were talking about transgender shows earlier. He said the new Ghostbusters is coming out and there's a six page spread in a magazine about the transgender TV stuff. Robin said Howard pointed out that lesbians were going to be big on TV and he was right. Howard said now it's transgender. Robin asked if he saw that coming. Howard said he did. Howard said now everyone is over the top gay or transgender and he loves it. The caller said this magazine has a six page spread of all of the shows that are out. Howard said he'll do that.
Robin said people aren't hung up on the whole gay thing so much now. Howard said there are still some out there who are. He played a clip of a pastor talking about ''queers'' who were shot in Orlando and he was saying he's going to pray that the injured will die as well. Howard said imagine saying that. Howard said that's a man by the way. Robin said he sounds like he's trying to reach puberty. Howard said he's not sure what that guy is up to. Howard said what a thing to say. He said he's talking about how they're child rapists.
Howard played another clip where the guy said that if the building collapsed on those people he doesn't think we should mourn over those evil people. Howard said he doesn't have time in his day for hate like that. Howard said he doesn't get the terrorism thing either.
Howard played a clip of Pastor Steven Anderson who talked about the shooting in Orlando and said the good news is that there are 50 less pedophiles less in this world. Howard asked how he makes that leap. The pastor said they are disgusting homosexuals at a gay bar. He said this will be used to push for gun control. Howard said these pastors all sound feminine to him. Howard said if you're going to hate on gays you should sound really masculine. Howard and Robin goofed on the guy's effeminate voice a little bit.
Howard played more of this Steven Anderson talking about what the bible says and all of that bullshit. Howard said it really concerns him that this is going on.
Howard said the guy who shot up the place in Orlando also hated Puerto Ricans from what he read. Howard said he has the article somewhere. Howard said he's looking through the paper and sees a woman half naked and he forgets what he's looking for. Howard said Jenna Dewan Tatum looks good even after having kids.
Howard said he ordered some eggplant parm last night and he threw out all of the spaghetti. Robin said he ate the cheese though, right? Howard said he did but he's 6'5'' tall and he has to eat something.
Howard found the article about Omar Mateen where they say he had a grudge against Latino men because he felt used by them. Howard read the details about that and how he had a tryst with a guy who he later found out had HIV. Then he hated Hispanic men. Howard said they claim that the people at the club knew the shooter and the motive remains unclear. Robin said ''oh please.'' Robin said there isn't any reason people go out and shoot people.
Howard said the naked cowboy likes the idea of them corralling the characters in Times Square. Robin said he used to have that area to himself. Robin said then everyone figured out that if they had a gimmick they could make money too. Robin said the cowboy has to keep in shape while the rest of the people just get in a costume.
Howard read some of the email he got about JD. People are really liking him on the show lately. Howard said there's a video that has an audio description going along with it for blind people. Howard played that clip and said he would have a hard time beating off to that. Robin asked how you get that job. She said that's what she needs to know.
Howard said there's an anal fucking scene too. He played a clip where a woman is describing what's happening in this anal video. Howard said this isn't getting him off. Howard said there's a lot of editorializing in there. The description was really graphic. Howard said they have gay porn too. Howard played a clip of a guy describing what was going on in this scene and they describe a guy with a bit of a lazy eye. Howard asked if that's necessary. He said they don't need to bring up defects.
Howard said JD laughs when he watches gay porn so they asked him to do this for some gay porn. Howard played a clip of JD doing that and he started laughing about 5 seconds in. Then JD is talking about one guy pissing on another guy and laughs as he describes it. Howard said he likes JD's description better. He said he lets the natural sound of the video come through. Howard said the piss sounded like rain on a shack. Howard said he hasn't pissed like that in years.
Howard played another clip of the blind porn announcer going through a video description. Howard wondered if that job pays well. Robin wondered if that gets a blind person off. Howard said he bets it does. Howard said Robin should do that with her great voice.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Robin gets upset when she's doing the news and Howard takes calls from guests. Howard said she can answer that but they're trying to get the audience input. Robin said she doesn't mind it. She said they have pretty good timing with that stuff.
Howard said in Rhode Island there's a news program that has some construction going on nearby and they can't get away from it. Howard played a clip of a news report where they're talking and there's a ton of noise behind them. Howard said they're trying to avoid talking about it but it gets crazy. Howard played another clip where it got really loud. Howard said they used to have a similar problem at K-Rock when they were there. Howard played another clip where the construction noise was extremely loud during the newscast.
Howard played another clip where there was constant banging on their roof. The broadcasters brought it up and said it's a good day for construction.
The caller said his life was fucked up when he worked in the porn industry. He said his girl does that. Howard said this guy is creeping him out. He said he talks constantly and he can't have a conversation with him.
Howard took a call from this guy Ronell who called in yesterday. Ronell asked if Howard could be a game show host, who would he be. Howard went into his female voice and asked if he remembers what his measurements are. Ronell said that he was a 34 waist and he had huge boobs. Howard said that's right. Howard asked if he can spell penguin. Ronell started to spell it but Howard said he's really bad at phone sex. Howard had him rub his cock while he spelled penguin. Howard said he gives up on this guy. He said he's a drag.
Howard said that he wishes he was good at this because his hairy taint is so moist right now. Howard said he never shaves his asshole. He said it looks like Letterman's beard.
Howard said he watched Letterman with Tom Brokaw and he thought it was good. Robin said it was JD who thought it was boring. Howard said he thought it was a good interview. JD said it was just okay. Howard said it was two segments. JD said it was Gary who said he walked away after 2 minutes. Howard said he thought it was pretty good. He said he's always interested in what Letterman is up to.
Howard got back to Ronell and tried a little more but gave up saying they have no chemistry. Howard said that guy is a weirdo.
Howard took a call from a guy who said there was an article about the Zika virus and they say they can change the DNA to get rid of it. Howard asked why they don't do it. The caller said something about it screwing with the bat population. Howard said he'd be fine if all of the bats in the world were gone. Howard said he's not sure how you protect yourself from mosquitos. The caller said just stay in the house. Howard said they still get in. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said he was some performer. Robin said she read that before he died he was following god. Robin asked if Howard thinks he will get like that before he dies. Howard said he will. He said he's going to hedge his bet. Howard said he feels like Bowie should have willed his body to the show so they could eat him. Howard said he may have tried a bite of Bowie. Then he said no he wouldn't but Jason would.
Howard said during the commercials they were talking about how together Sal's kid seemed. Howard said it didn't make sense to them. Howard said he would hang out with that kid but not Sal. Howard said the kid was pleasant and together. Howard said Sal's fantasy is to hang out at his house but he'd never do that with Sal. Howard said the kid was so well behaved and intelligent. Howard said that kid is at a great age. Howard asked how old he was. Robin said he's 11 or 12. Howard said that's a great age. He said someone has one a great job raising those kids. He said it can't be Sal. He said he's demanding a DNA test. He said there's no way there's any Sal in there.
Robin asked if Howard read about the people who came here to save some girl from a heroin den. They came all loaded with guns and ammo. Robin said they caught those guys because they had a broken windshield. Howard said they were armed to the teeth.
Howard said Sal's son was saying they don't listen to Sal when he disciplines them. Howard said they only listen to their mom. Aaron came back in and Howard said he thinks he's so much cooler than his dad. He said he can discuss issues with him.
Howard asked Aaron about his dad disciplining him. Aaron said his dad tries to do that by telling him to just be a good boy. Sal said that his kids will laugh at him when he's doing that. Howard said Sal's dad used to humiliate him when he was growing up. Sal said his dad would break loaves of bread over his head. Aaron said Sal will tell him that his dad would whip him if he asked for McDonald's. Howard asked what he's trying to teach him there. He said he's kind of complimenting himself. He said he's acting like he's such a great guy by not whipping them. Aaron said his dad will get them McDonald's but then he tells stories about how bad his life was. Howard said you don't have to lecture the kids like that. Aaron said he has no problem with it but he tells his friends at school about it.
Sal said he also didn't take a whole thing of straws. He said he took like 4. Aaron said he took all of the sugar packets at Smashburger. Sal said he's grounded! He said he's fucking dead. Howard said that's inappropriate. Howard said what's crazy is that Aaron's grandfather owned a pizza store and he knows if you steal that stuff it costs the store money. Howard asked why his dad would do that. Howard said Sal should know better. Sal said he takes a few straws and Splenda packs. Aaron said he takes napkins too. He said they look like white trash. Howard said he needs to put himself up for adoption.
Howard said he's saying that his father is embarrassing him. Aaron said he's making a big deal out of it. Aaron said his dad told him not to tell Howard this and that. He said he works hard and he tells them about it. Robin said the stuff he's doing at home isn't for them so he's probably lying. Howard asked if he says anything negative about him. Aaron said definitely not. Aaron said his dad says Howard is really nice. Howard said he rewards him for the antics he does.
Howard asked if Sal says anything bad about Robin or Fred. Aaron said not Robin. He said he's not sure if he says anything about Fred. Howard asked if there's anyone at work his dad doesn't like. Aaron said he has never said he doesn't like anyone specific. Aaron said everyone there is really nice. Howard asked if Richard comes over a lot. Aaron said he doesn't think he's met Richard face to face. Sal said he has but he was a lot younger.
Howard said it seems like Larry Caputo has taken Richard's spot. Aaron said that they call each other like a gay couple. He said he wants to snuggle with Larry during a movie. Sal said this kid is lying. Howard said kids don't lie. Sal said that's what's confusing. He said he never said he wanted to snuggle during a movie.
Aaron said Larry was really nice when he met him. He said he never thought he would meet him. Howard asked if it would surprise him if Larry and his dad ran off together. Aaron said not at all. Howard said he thinks Aaron's mom is more of the disciplinarian. Aaron said she is.
Howard asked Aaron what his dad's grossest habit is. Aaron said his dad will blow his nose in a napkin and then he shows it to everyone at the dinner table. He said they'll be eating and he does it. Howard said this kid is a saint. Sal said he blows his nose at the table from time to time. Sal said he tries to get the kids to listen to their mom. Aaron said he tries to be reasonable. He said his dad is really nice most of the time.
Howard asked if Aaron is proud of his dad. Aaron said he is. He said he's pretty good. Aaron said his dad's friend Ben gave him some collectors editions of a game. He thought that was nice. Sal said that was the great Ben Barto.
Howard asked if they're recording bits together back there. Sal said they are. He said they're going to save what they're doing for later. Howard let them go after that. Howard said he wanted to ask Aaron if he thought JD was a nerd. Howard asked JD if he's hanging with the kid at all. JD said he's mainly been with Sal. Howard asked Aaron, while he was by JD, what he thinks of him. Aaron said he seems really nice. Howard asked if he thinks JD would be good with women. Aaron said he thinks so. Howard let him go after that.
Robin started her news with a story about Dandy Dan Daniels passing away. Robin said he was 82 years old. Howard said they used to see him at WNBC when they worked there. Robin said he used to work at WMCA too. Howard said he was good. He said the only thing he had was that name though. He didn't have a special saying. Howard said Cousin Brucie had the ''Eee'' thing and called everyone cousin. Howard said the big station when he was growing up was WABC. He said WMCA was competing with them. Howard played some audio of some old WMCA stuff. Howard said he could never do that kind of radio. He said he was so limited in what he could do that he never thought he'd be able to work there. Howard did an impression of what those guys sounded like to him. He said when he got into radio he tried to sound like those guys but he didn't make sense. Howard played a couple more clips from the WMCA days.
Howard also played a call they made to a woman where they played audio from his early radio recordings and asked a woman what she thinks of that. The woman wasn't impressed. Howard said he was no Howard Stern back then. He said he was so bad on the radio that he couldn't get a job. Howard said he was trying to lower his voice and it sounded like he was trying to lower his voice. Howard said some of the stuff he did didn't make sense to him. He said the echo on his voice didn't make sense. Howard said he needed it though. Howard said he was trying to come up with some kind of delivery that would be smooth. Howard played more Dandy Dan clips and did his own version of that radio guy voice.
Howard took a call from Old Howard which was clips from his early recordings. They had Howard giving the weather report. Howard gave up on that and said he can't talk to that guy. Robin asked how he got rid of that accent. Howard said it was hard. Howard said his father told him to try to sound more like an announcer so that's what he did.
Robin read a story about Carol Miller having a love triangle with Jim Kerr at one time. Howard said they're probably older than they are. Robin said they were on radio before they were. Robin said someone is suing someone over that story. Howard asked when that was. Robin said that Carol and another woman allegedly got into a fight over Jim Kerr. Robin said that the woman was the ex and she was irate over Kerr hooking up with Carol. Howard said that guy is really smooth on radio. Howard said he was on in the mornings on WPLJ there in New York. Howard said he really wanted that job. He said they wouldn't have put up with him over there though.
Robin read a story about the court case going on about Led Zeppelin songs that another band says they stole. Howard said they should just settle. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about SUNY being hit by a hacker. Robin said their Twitter feed was hacked and pornographic images were posted on their account.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a former DJ and when Howard talks about that stuff it's the most fascinating thing to him. Howard said it's good to review what's going on in the universe. Howard did his old DJ voice again and talked up Glenn Frey's ''You Belong to the City.'' Howard asked what the caller's radio name was. The guy said he was J.T. in the Afternoon. Howard had him do his DJ voice a little bit. Howard asked where he worked. Justin said he worked in Texas and New Mexico. Robin asked what he's doing now. Howard said he's Elmo out in Times Square. Justin said he does a show at Bally's in Las Vegas. He said he's an actor in Tony and Tina's Wedding out there. Howard said all of the people they knew who were in that play never got paid. Justin said he does get paid. Howard said Fred's wife was in that and they got her out as quick as they could. He said things got crazy. He said he thought Fred was going to run out the door when he heard that name.
Robin read a story about how Apple may be doing away with their traditional headphone jack. Robin said now you'll have to buy headphones that work with the power jack. Howard said he doesn't know what's going on there. Robin said they say it will make the phone thinner and more water resistant. Howard said they better come up with more stuff than that. Robin said they plan even bigger things for 2017 which is the 10th anniversary of the phone.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump having a meeting with some religious leaders and he came out questioning Hillary's religion. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about that. Robin said he has a board of these religious leaders guiding him now and Jerry Fallwell Jr. was one of them. Robin had audio of Fallwell.
Robin had some audio of Hillary Clinton talking about Trump as well. She joked about how all of Trump's books seem to end at chapter 11. Fred threw in some Jackie laughs when they played another joke that Hillary told. Howard had some fake Donald Trump clips telling some jokes about Hillary too.
Robin read a story about Selma Blair apologizing for her outburst on a flight she was on. Robin said she says she made a big mistake mixing alcohol with medication. She says she blacked out and said some things she didn't mean to say. Howard said he thought he read that her kid was with her. Robin didn't remember reading that. Howard got a note saying the kid was with her. Howard said he thought he had read that but he wasn't sure.
Robin read a story about how Americans are out looking for Chick-Fil-A and pizza places over burgers now. Robin said that McDonald's and Burger King aren't in the top of the list. Robin said tastes must be changing. Howard asked Jon Hein what he thinks about that. Robin said McDonald's was number 12 on the list. Howard said Jon is out of touch with that stuff. Jon said that Chick-Fil-A is really good. He said that list is a customer satisfaction list so that's why they're up at the top. Howard asked Jon some trivia questions about fast food places that came out of his own book. Jon wasn't able to answer a couple that were right out of his own book. Howard asked why he doesn't know the answers. Howard asked if he wrote the book. Jon said he did. Howard asked what Jon is having today for lunch. Jon said he's having Chick-Fil-A. He said he just felt like having it today. He's having an original chicken sandwich and waffle fries. Howard asked how many calories that is. Jon said it's a lot. Howard said he wants to be like Jon and not care. Howard said his daughter begs him to take better care of himself. Jon said his whole family does. Jon told Howard he should just try it once. Howard said he eats that stuff and he gets tits.
Howard asked Jon what he'll have for dinner. Jon said he'll have a roast beef sandwich or something like that. Howard asked if he has a dessert for diner. Jon said no. Howard asked if he drinks the shake with the fries and chicken. Jon said he saves it for dessert. Fred said the shake is 540 calories alone. He said the fries are 400 and the chicken is 440 with 18 grams of fat. Howard said that's like 1300 calories right there. Howard said he'll probably shit his brains out too. Jon said he may but he'll wait until he goes home. Howard said he and Fred used to eat like that many years ago. Jon said you can do it once in a while. Howard said he did that on Saturday night. He said he had some dessert that was really good. He didn't eat it all though.
Howard asked Jon what time he's eating. Jon said around noon after Wrap Up. He said it'll be waiting for him after the show. Jon asked what he's having. Howard said he's having an egg wrap. That's it. Howard asked how many times a day he shits. Jon said it's just once. Howard asked if they're big. Jon said it depends. Howard asked if he has a lot of shit left in there after he shits. Jon said he clears out pretty well. Howard said he has a lot of problems with it not clearing out. Jon said you just have to wait. Howard said he has a mess down there. He said he doesn't smell. He said Jon must smell like hot garbage. Jon said it depends on what you eat. Howard said Jon's wife has a great body. He said she must watch what she eats. Jon said she eats very well. Jon said she exercises all the time too. Howard said it all goes down at 12 today. Jon said he'll give him some of his shake. Howard said no thanks. Howard said he could try it but he can't. Howard let Jon go a short time later.
Robin read a story about a falling bundle of space trash that's going to be falling today. Robin said it's expected to disintegrate in the atmosphere around 9:20 this morning. Robin said that they're not sure how it will break up. Robin said you don't think about this stuff and what happens to it.
Robin asked if Howard worried that his pets would get the Zika virus. Howard said they have indoor pets so they don't. Robin said an expert says it won't hurt your pet. Howard said he doesn't want a pet with a shrunken head. Howard said he can't stop thinking about that shake Jon is going to be eating.
Howard said he's going to get a new tattoo. He said he and Beth are getting one to memorialize their cat Apple who died a while ago. Howard said he may get it on his wrist by where he wears his watch. Howard said he knew a guy who got his penis tattooed and died a couple days later.
Robin read about pets getting heartworm and how people should worry about that. Howard said he's thinking about dogs and people having shrunken heads like Beetlejuice. Robin had Howard play a clip where a guy talked about how the heartworm can be spread by the same mosquitos who have Zika. Howard asked Jason if he's eating Chick-Fil-A today. Jason said he has a turkey sandwich from home actually. Robin had more clips of officials talking about the Zika and pets thing. Howard asked what Gary is having for lunch. Gary said he will have a spicy chicken sandwich. Howard asked if they go off and eat somewhere. Gary said Jon eats at his desk. Howard said Gary was just walking around carrying a bag of peanut M&M's with those teeth. Gary said that's what you chew them with. Howard played a song parody about Gary's mouth and he had to cut it off when he heard ''mouth full of spit.''
Robin read about another person who died in Arizona because of the heat wave out there. Robin asked why people are hiking in that 120 degree weather. Howard said he would do that. He said he loves the hot weather.
Robin read about Joan Rivers belongings being auctioned off. Robin said that one of her dog bowls is being auctioned off. Howard asked if that's for charity. Robin said she doesn't know where the money is going. Gary said someone there at the auction said the Tiffany dog bowl sold for $11,000. Someone in the office said it is going to charity too. Robin said she thinks it would be nice to have something of Joan's because she feels close to her. Robin said she may go online to pick something up.
Howard asked Robin if she'd want one of those shakes. Robin said that doesn't appeal to her at all. She can't eat chicken either. Howard said Jon is leaving a large carbon footprint there.
Robin read about how Twitter is offering longer video lengths on the service.
Robin read about how Rory McIlroy is going to pass on the Olympics in Rio this summer because of fears of Zika. Howard said he would too. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
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