For the week of 02/03/2014 to 02/07/2014

• Birthday Bash Replay. 02/03/14. 6:00am
  This morning Howard was not live. They replayed the Birthday Bash special that aired live on Friday, January 31, 2014. I wrote this up on Friday night. You can read the rundown in last week's archive.
  • Howard Stern Birthday Bash: 6-7pm. 01/31/14.
  • Howard Stern Birthday Bash: 7-8pm. 01/31/14.
  • Howard Stern Birthday Bash: 8-9pm. 01/31/14.
  • Howard Stern Birthday Bash: 9-10pm. 01/31/14.
  • Howard Stern Birthday Bash: 10-10:25pm. 01/31/14.

• Wrap Up Show - Howard Calls In. 02/03/14. 10:20am
  After the replay of the Birthday Bash Jon Hein and Gary Dell'Abate did a live Wrap Up Show. Jon started the show talking about how much they had to talk about. He said Howard is live tomorrow at 6am. He said they'll have a lot of back stage stuff and controversy. He said they'll leave that for Howard to talk about.

  Jon said Howard and Robin live tweeted the entire replay this morning. Jon said if they want to call in they know the number.

  Jon said he and Gary worked the show so their perspective is different. He said he couldn't believe what they were able to pull off. He said that they all gave their best. He said everybody was genuinely happy to be there and to celebrate Howard. Jon said it couldn't have gone better.

  Gary said Ryan Phillippe said to him at the after party that this was like the Golden Globes and Oscars rolled into one but everyone there wanted to be there. He said it wasn't like a bullshit awards show. He said it was an award show where everyone wanted to be there with Howard. Gary said the one complaint he had was that they didn't have enough breaks. Jon said they only did 3 and they did almost 5 hours of content.

  Jon asked Will Murray how it was for him. Will said it was amazing. He said once Howard settled in he enjoyed it. He said he could see that happening. He said Jimmy Kimmel was great as the host and it was incredible to be part of that whole thing.

  Gary said he wants to roll it back a few days. He said that they want to do some behind the scenes stuff but save some of that for Howard. Gary said they started building the set on Wednesday night. He said they worked all day Thursday and they all got there at 6 on Thursday to do a sound check. He said that might have been better than the show in some ways. He said every 40 minutes a music act would come in to rehearse. He said it was amazing in itself. Jon said he wasn't sure how that was all going to work out. He said he didn't think that all of these people were going to show up. He said Will should tell the story.

  Will said that he saw Jon Hein come out and he almost walked into Jon Bon Jovi because he didn't know he was on stage rehearsing. Jon said he was trying to get some stuff done and he didn't know it was Jon on stage. He said that they had John Mayer, Rob Zombie and Adam Levine there. He said that they all wanted to be there and put their best foot forward. He said Steven Tyler was doing his song over and over again. He said this is something you don't get to see.

  Will said Steven Tyler was there and everyone was taking pictures with each other. He said they were very cool moments.

  Gary said someone asked him what the greatest moment was for him and it started at sound check. He said there were a million people around. He said there were people building things and putting carpet down and things like that. He said that they were all just milling around. He said Jon Bon Jovi showed up and then John Mayer and then the Black Keys. He said once Steven Tyler and Slash came out they all moved up front like they were drawn to a magnet. He said they weren't able to stop staring. Gary said Jason told him that those two are really fucking rock stars.

  Jon said the line up of the show was one after the other. He said they did the Letterman interview in the middle of it all. He said they were worried about the acts that had time constraints. He said they weren't sure if Howard would enjoy it but it just went off great. Jon said during the sound check they weren't sure how the timing was going to go. He said that it hit them all and it was great. Jon said he can't say enough about Jimmy Kimmel. He said he gets it and he's a really good guy. He said he's all about making the show great. Jon said that he's busy doing his own show and he's busy helping them out with that show. He said he made a difference in the way the show came off.

  Gary said they had never done that before so it was all new to them. He got back to the sound check story. He said they moved into Friday and they had a whole day of rehearsal. He said the song parody guys came to do a sound check. That couldn't have gone worse. He said they had a half hour to do it and the guys doing it had no idea it was happening. He said Psych didn't even make it there. He said Little Mikey and Eli Braden were there and so was Daniel Mendelson. He said that Robin had to take a stab at her song too. He said that it just went awful. He said that he was going to cut the segment if it didn't go well in the next run through. He said that it couldn't have gone any worse. Jon said it was really bad.

  Gary said they're a radio staff and they're great at that. He said even if they weren't video taping this it would have been a mess. He said that they had everyone on headsets and people would take then off during the breaks. He said no one could hear each other. He said the talent wranglers were at radio row handling other things for the Super Bowl. He said it was like 4 hours of the worst fucking thing ever. Gary said Jon handled so much stuff to help keep the show flowing and running.

  Jon said they have a guy on the phone who helped out a lot. It was Howard. Howard said he's been in his car for 2 and a half hours. He said that you should hear the show in the car. He said that it's the worst traffic day ever in New York. He said the snow is so bad there. He said it couldn't be better hearing it being replayed in the car being stuck. He said it's so entertaining. He said getting to re-live it was great. He said he hopes that the people at home really enjoyed it.

  Howard said tomorrow they'll talk about a lot more. He said he has to talk about JD's date and Tan Mom and all of that. Howard said everybody came through in a big way. He said it's a one shot deal and they're not used to doing a live show like that. He said it's dealing with the unknown. He said you're sitting there and you don't know how complicated it really is. He said it all worked out though. He said they have thousands of pictures up at HowardStern.com too if you missed that. He said he has video of it and they'll stream some of it eventually.

  Howard said one thing he was nervous about was the weather that night. He said there were reports of a snow storm coming in. Gary said that there was grid lock on Friday night in the city. He said one of the acts had to wait for a hour for their car to come. He said he was approached to delay the show for a half hour. He said if they had done that they would have had to have cut acts out. Gary said he insisted on starting at 6. He said the whole night he would hear who was in the building. He said he told Howard before the show started that they'd have to flip some stuff around. He said he kept waiting for someone not to show up but everyone showed up on time and it ran exactly as it was laid out.

  Howard said he's just going to sit and write thank you notes to everyone who participated. He said he has to send gifts to them all too. Howard said it was great to see all of the videos that people sent in. He said he has to send pictures and gifts and all of that to those people. He said it was a great night.

  Gary said that he's dying to know what the favorite part of the night was for him. Howard said someone tweeted him that question too. He said pretty much everyone has been good on Twitter today. He said he was going to tweet the whole show. He said that he gets just one or two people asking why he's tweeting so much. He said he thought that's what Twitter was for. He said that he hardly tweets and then he does and people get upset. Howard said someone asked him to tell Beth to stop tweeting pictures from the show. He said it's fucking crazy.

  Howard said he can't have a favorite moment on the show. He said Lena Dunham came out and did her thing and he was kind of blown out by how funny she was. He said Sarah and Natalie doing their song was great and so was Rosie O'Donnell. He said Letterman was way cool too. He said he's not sure what his favorite moment of the night could be. He said that they had Steven Tyler, Dave Grohl, Adam Levine and all of those guys performing. He said that it was just so good he can't have a favorite moment.

  Gary said his favorite moment was when Slash came out with Steven Tyler. He said that he knew it was going to be amazing. Gary said that Steven Tyler turns around to the audience to tell them that Slash was there and he saw the audience react. He said that was worth it right there.

  Howard said he liked when Jeff Probst was there passing the microphone around the audience. He said it was just kind of cool to pass the microphone around. He said there were so many people out there that he wanted to talk to. He said that Robert Downey Jr. was there and went up on stage and just talked so easy. He said they had a lot of way cool people out there. He said just Louis C.K. walking out and doing his thing was great. He said it was about him and the show and it was very special to him. He said he loved being roasted by Jeff Ross and Joan Rivers too. He said that it was just a great night. He said he can't remember having that much fun. He said he was really happy and just enjoying the whole thing. He said he was worried that people were having a good time.

  Jon said that the thing people kept telling him was that people sounded thrilled to be there. He said it was also very comfortable. He said it was like they were just sitting around talking. Jon said that it was something that you hope for and can't even plan for. He said within the first 15 minutes they knew how it was going to go.

  Howard said it is a big room there at Hammerstein and you have to just give up control and let the guys take control. He said if you trust in that it can be really good. He said that was the key to him enjoying the whole thing. He said that it was just a great broadcast.

  Howard said Bob Lefsetz wrote a column about the show and he was wondering what kind of fucked up world they live in when Howard Stern has a better party than the Beatles 50th anniversary. Howard said Bob thinks that they thought the world a lesson. Howard said they were just there to have fun and it was nuts and just great. Howard said he hopes that everyone who performed there knows how much he appreciates it. He said he'll make sure they know it over the next couple of days.

  Gary said in some shows they need to know every word they're going to say. They don't work like that. He said all they had was a one line explanation of what was going to happen and the guests would come out and do their own thing.

  Howard said Bryan Cranston broke into that JD impression and he was all twisted and contorted. He said he became JD and it was such a surprise. He said Jewel came out to do that song he wrote and she looked like a goddess. He said that Beth said to him after the show who he found attractive and he told her it was Jewel. He said she looked amazing in that dress. Howard said he can't believe out of this stupid career he has that everything he went though has blown into this. Howard said he really has to go but he'll talk tons tomorrow on the live show. He thanked everyone for making that show happen.

  Jon said the one thing they didn't get to say is that this doesn't happen without Howard. Will said they were wondering if they could pull it off. He said at the end of the day they have Howard as insurance. He said he was able to sit back and relax during the show. Jon brought them to break after that.

• Wrap Up Show - Birthday Bash Behind The Scenes. 02/03/14. 10:55am
  After the break Jon had a few more people in the studio. They came back to a Katie Couric intro so he brought up how good she looked that night. JD was in and said she was one of the best dressed there. Gary said that Beth looked great but the person who really brought it was Maria Menounos. JD said he was down on the stage next to Jon Hein and they saw some leg. He said her legs looked good. Jon said JD said he had the best seat in the house.

  Gary said Jewel looked phenomenal. He said that they had some ideas for her to do and she wanted to do this song. He said she had done the song on the show before so he hoped it would go okay. He said there's such a difference between her doing it in the studio and doing the ballroom. He said she really is a performer because she had them all in her hand.

  Jon said he thought that Cranston coming out was awesome. He said that the musical performances were all great but John Fogerty had everyone up and clapping. He said he played two legendary songs and he got them all going at the right time. Gary agreed. Jon said he thought his energy was incredible.

  Will said Adam Levine got a lot of coverage for his cover of Purple Rain. Jon said he thought that was great too. He said he changed on the fly to do My Hero. Gary said Dave stopped the audience in their tracks with ''Everlong.'' He said the second song was supposed to be ''Times Like These'' and he was thinking that he fucked up and he should have made Everlong the second song. He said that Dave goes to the couch and says he's going to do My Hero and it was amazing. Jon said everything just broke correctly for them. He said all of the feedback they're getting is unbelievable.

  Jon said Jim McClure is an unsung hero of the show. He said he organizes so much around that show. He said that he really did an unbelievable job. He said that he has to give kudos to him. Will said there is sometimes a separation between Howard and Sirius but that night they were all working together.

  Gary said he met some people at the after party and there is a separation there. He said they sort of know each other. He said there was a guy who helped organize the show and his name is Brian. He said he saw him at the after party and he was talking to Brian who is his new friend. He said they may do events in the future and they'll go great.

  Jon said that Scot the Engineer had to go out and give headphones to people in the audience. He asked how this was compared to other events they've done. Scott said it was a level above and it just worked out perfectly. He said the staff worked phenomenally.

  Jon said that they were doing a run through and they had Scott sitting in as Howard Stern on stage. He said they were trying to do something timing wise and Scott refused to do his comedy material for them. He said JD was playing Robin on stage too. Will said they both have great boobs. JD said ''Fuck you'' to Will.

  Gary said that he went up at about 5:40 the night of the show and he said to him that rehearsal was kind of shaky. He said that he may need him and Jimmy to cover some stuff. He said it wasn't going to run like a TV production. He said it wasn't going to be tight. He said it turned out that it was.

  Gary said they had meetings about this for months and months. Gary said they were wondering about how things were going to work out. He said he kept saying that they had Howard and Jimmy and if something went wrong they'd cover it.

  Jon said that if you have a crappy rehearsal you usually have a good show. He said that's just the way things work out sometimes. Scott said the dress rehearsal worked because they did work some things out.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said they did a fantastic job that night. He said it was a phenomenal show. He said he is a huge Black Keys fan and he was so upset at Howard for not acknowledging them the way he should have. He asked how that came about and whose idea it was. He wondered what Howard thought of them.

  Gary said they reached out to the Black Keys. He said he spoke to Patrick at the sound check and he's an enormous fan of the show. He said he was so happy to be there. He said they were great. Gary said there were things that just worked out by dumb luck. He said they had a gig that night so they had to be out of there by 7. He said that he had to put them on early in the show. Gary said the pacing of the show was so great and it said a lot of things. He said Rob Zombie opened the show with the Great American Nightmare. He said it was a live opening of that song for the show. Gary said he wanted to keep it as surprises all night and the Black Keys fit in perfectly at the time they went on. Jon said that you get the joke when you see them there. He said Steve Brandano may feel vindicated with that whole thing. He said that Sarah and Natalie singing their song was great too. He said the fans got those jokes.

  Steve said that Howard said that the Black Keys killed it and he's downloading their albums now. Steve said that was his favorite part of the night of course. They went to break after that.

• Wrap Up Show - Robin Calls In. 02/03/14. 11:10am
  After the break Jon said Howard will be back live tomorrow. He said today you're stuck with them. Jon moved on to talk about Kathie Lee Gifford. He said that went exactly as they thought it would go. Gary said they tried to get her there live and she wanted to come but she had a family function she had to go to. Gary said he can't thank her enough for going out on a limb with that. He said it was great. Gary said there was some booing going on but then she said what she said at the end and she went up 5 points in every Stern fan's book.

  Jon said Governor Christie was there and it was like star after star. He said they had no idea who that was going to go down either. Will said he just got up there and kind of winged it and it turned out great. Gary said that the original person that was going to introduce Bon Jovi was Robert Downey Jr. He said he had been working on Governor Christie since December. He said they called on that Monday. He said they said he was coming so he had to call Robert and ask him to change who he was going to introduce. He said he wasn't sure if he was upset he'd be there for that long. Gary said that all turned out to be perfect. He said that things just worked out and it turns out it was perfection.

  Jon said everyone they worked with on this was so gracious. He said they're so easy to work with. He said Seth Meyers was just cool with stuff and there was no attitude. He said it made it such a pleasure to work at.

  Will said that Train was there for everything. He said they put in a long work day on Thursday and Friday and they have no ego. Scott said they learned that Guatemalan theme song too. Jon said that Scott was the Train whisperer who told them about all of that stuff. He said he has a special relationship with them now. Scott said he has gotten to know them and talk to them. He said it's not a special relationship.

  Gary said Train was the perfect band for the party. He said they never complained at all. Gary said even the people they work with like the teleprompter and teamsters were all great. He said that the teleprompter girl was just into making it a perfect night as much as they were. He said it was amazing.

  Steve said that there weren't many hiccups but when there were they would take care of it no problem. He said everyone wanted to make Howard happy and it made the night awesome.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said he has been a fan since the NBC days. He said that he really is the King of All Media. He said they had everything there and it was a great night. He asked Gary if anything ever looked like it was going to go awry and it didn't. Gary said there were none. He said the show started and from that second it felt like they had taken half a valium. He said at 6:45 they were 8 minutes ahead of schedule. He said everything was just working out. Gary said he was almost floating on air. He said Howard complimented him on how calm he was. He said he was very calm through the whole thing.

  Jon said that there were a few moments for him. He said that Jimmy and Howard ended up talking for a minute. Gary said that Johnny Knoxville showed up late. He said that in his headset he was told by Jim McClure that the Black Keys were ready to go and so was Johnny. He said he told Jimmy Kimmel what was going on. Then he heard that they had a problem so he told Jimmy to bring it back a little. He said that it turns out that they blew an amp in the Black Keys band and that's what delayed that. He said that was really the only hiccup.

  Jon said he and Gary kept looking at each other about how well things were going. He said that Gary got more and more relaxed as things were going along too. Gary said he was ordering scotch at 8:45. Jon said he had to be feeling good at that point. Gary said he picked a point where he felt they'd be home free and it wasn't long after Letterman's interview. He said maybe it was the bit after that. He said that went and he knew the show would run itself after that. He said that's when he ordered his Johnny Walker.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said he was listening to Purple Rain and that made him think about who wasn't able to make it to the show. Gary said no one who said no was like ''screw you.'' He said that he felt bad that they were goofing on Jerry Seinfeld because he had called them in September and it turns out Jerry had a gig booked in Orlando that night so that's why he wasn't able to make it. Chris Rock had a family commitment that he couldn't get out of. He said David Bowie had one too. He said they did call Prince too. Will said he bets that some of them regret not being able to make it.

  Jon said that Kathie Lee was going to come but she did the video greeting instead. George Clooney was another one. He said that he wanted to come. He said they got Neil Young too. Gary said that story is funny. He said Robin called him and said she had a connection to Neil Young and she might get something. He said she told him that they have the same doctor. He came through and made it happen for them.

  Steve said that they have to thank Ian Kelly for helping with the show. He said he had never done anything like that and Ian took them and told them what they had to do. He said he was a huge part of helping them. He said he learned a lot in 24 hours from Ian.

  Jon said this was a whole other animal. He said that they had to take a step back and look at this. He said it was a radio show but on another level. He said everyone did their job so well. Jon said he was joking around about Scott but no one asked why something didn't happen. He said that everyone loves the show so much and they work so hard to make it work so great. Scott said they had a couple of glitches but they were able to make it work. He said Robin's microphone died but they had a back up.

  Gary said the sound of the show was phenomenal. He said they got a lot of feedback about how great it sounded. He said they have a friend who listened to it on his big sound system and he said it sounded great. Gary said they have this enormous support system there at Sirius.

  Jon took a call from Robin Quivers who said she's been enjoying this whole thing. Jon asked Robin about where this ranks in her eyes. Robin said she knows the kind of nightmare it is to do this kind of show. She said you're worried that everything will go wrong. Robin said that she felt for everyone who was going through that. She said that she saw them all with their headsets on and doing their thing. Gary said in the past they had guests cancel and then they'd hear that they were in town and doing other things.

  Gary said that Rosie O'Donnell got up and sang a song about herself that was brutal. He said that they came up with the idea for the song and she had someone create the sound bed for her. Gary said she was one of the bright spots in rehearsal. Jon said he heard her walking off stage saying ''Pumpkin head loves you!'' and he didn't hear that live. He said he heard it in the replay.

  Robin said that John Fogerty was great and that energy level came in at the perfect time. She said that she and Howard spoke about that before. She said somehow that area on stage never emptied. She said that the audience had already been there for a couple of hours being entertained and he cranked it up and got everyone energized.

  Gary said Robin is right. Gary said they have to involve the audience in the event. He said that he can't tell you how many people came up and asked if they were going to bail on the whole Letterman interview. Gary said that he wasn't going to bail on it to satisfy the 1500 people and let down 8 million. He said that it was compelling and the people listening were enjoying it. Gary said Robert Downey Jr. said it best when he asked what the fuck was wrong with those people in there. Robin said he was riveted to the show. She said he was like the greatest audience you could ever have.

  Jon asked Robin what stood out to her at the show. Robin said she was tweeting about the show this morning and she was thinking about all of the great performers they had. She said it was like an epic. She said it just went on and it was like 50 shows and not just one. She said there is no way to get your mind around it all. Robin said when she was listening she was thinking about how it was all highlights and there were no mediocre moments. Gary said it worked from beginning to end. Robin agreed.

  Gary said they were going over the show and wondering how they could move things around. He said they put a lot of thought into it. Robin said someone was saying that it was like an Oscar caliber show. Robin said those shows aren't fun. She said the audience gets worn out. Gary said that he sent a note out to the guys and said that to a Stern Fan it was like the Oscars. Robin said it was a better live show and a better broadcast than any of those shows.

  Jon said they had to wrap up so he has one last thought. He asked Robin if she sensed how everyone thought of Howard that night. He said that he thought that everyone there was there to please Howard. He said he was getting the respect that he's been due for a very long time. Robin said where were elements in previous birthday shows where they had to do a lot of arm twisting. She said there was none of that in this show. She said there were just people sitting around watching the show for hours. Gary said there may or may not have been threaten of never playing someone's albums in past birthday shows.

  Jon asked Robin if she has recovered from her dance from Ryan Phillippe. She said she has. She said that she didn't know he was going to do that. Gary said he could see that he really got to her. Robin said she didn't even know where she was after that dance. She said she was really thrown off.

  Jon let Robin go and ended the show. He let the guys get in some plugs. Will said that Tan Mom really made the show. He said that Jimmy's line about how Howard can only get a Beatle and Beetlejuice in the same room. The guys also mentioned that you can hear the replay all day long on Howard 100.

  Gary said that he went to Jim Meyer early in when this idea started. He said he told Jim that they wanted to do a birthday show with Jimmy Kimmel hosting and Jim trusted him enough to write a huge check for it to happen. He said Jim grabbed him at the end of the night and told him that he was ''crushing it'' and that made it all worth it. They ended the show around 11:35am.

• Back Live - Birthday Bash Discussions. 02/04/14. 6:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: A prank call Sal and Richard made to a wig store using clips of Robin Quivers looking for a toupee, a ''Tongue Twister Time with High Pitch Eric'' bit, Metallica's ''One'' with Howard's fart sounds, John Legend performing a cover of ''Dancing in the Dark'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio.

  The show was back live this morning. Howard started the show talking about how he had a lot to talk about today. He said they'll get to JD's date and all of that. He said they did the Birthday Show on Friday night and they held off on replaying it until yesterday. He said they wanted everyone to hear it. Howard said they avoided talking about a lot of what went on there yesterday on the Wrap Up Show. He said they have a lot of things to get to. He said that they had Shuli back stage with tape and stories. Robin said she's still waiting to find out why Tan Mom was escorted from the place. Robin said she never disappoints. Howard said he told her to leave because she wasn't tan enough.

  Robin congratulated Howard on the party. She said it was great. Howard said you can get so uptight that you can almost ruin it for yourself. He said that he managed to go in with the attitude that it was planned for a long time and it was the day to execute it and just enjoy it. He said he had a really good time. He said it was a nice experience.

  Howard said he heard Scott is bummed out today. Scott said they'll get to it later when he finds out what happened. Howard said he stormed out of his studio. Scott said he's just bummed out about something. Howard said Scott Salem is a detective. Scott said it was something he wasn't pleased with from the birthday show. He said he wants to hold off on it until he finds out what went on. Scott said he heard something happened. Gary told Howard he's better off not having this conversation. He said he should let Scott find out. Robin asked if they've ever heard of Scott doing something for the show like that. Howard said only when he did the push ups. Howard said it's actually Scott's 28th anniversary of working for the show.

  Howard said Gary asked him what his favorite moment on the show was. He said he just said everything and he knows that's lame. Howard said John Fogerty gave him the best gift. He said he gave him the Credence Clearwater album, in vinyl, and signed. Howard said he puts that stuff in a frame. Howard said it was left in his dressing room. Howard said he loves that. Robin said there were so many people they didn't get to talk to. Howard said there really were. He said there were two people he wanted to ask about dating the same guy. Howard said it was actually Chelsea Handler and Joan Rivers that he wanted to talk to about their feud. Howard said he also thought about Larry King and Katie Couric being there and they went on a date. He said he should have asked them about that but it wasn't that kind of show.

  Howard said when he heard the replay of the show it was great. He said it just happened really fast and it was great. Howard said he couldn't wait for Fred Armisen covering Blackbird. He said he fucked it up and it was great. Howard said he has so many things to talk about. He said he has a lot of thoughts to get out.

  Howard said he has the new John Fogerty CD and he wants to play Robin a track. He said there's a really good thing on there. Howard said John covers Fortunate Son with the Foo Fighters. He said the new CD is really good and he's not just saying that. Howard said Billy Joel couldn't be there but he sent a gift. Howard said he sent over a platinum album for ''Turnstiles.'' Howard said that it's the vinyl copy in the glass. Howard said he has that and that's very cool too.

  Howard said Slash walked over and handed him his guitar and signed it to him. Howard said he's not sure what kind of guitar it is. Fred said he's assuming it's a Gibson Les Paul. Howard said he really has to take guitar lessons. He said he's getting too old for that but he knows that sounds ridiculous. He said that job has to be so great. Robin said it has to be a great job. She said that Dave Grohl's job is to be a rock star. She said that has to be cool.

  Howard said Rob Zombie came and did the opening number. Robin said she had a fear that people wouldn't know it was a live performance. Howard said they could tell.

• Shuli's Wack Pack Report. 02/04/14. 6:15am
  Gary said Shuli has the Wack Pack report and there's a lot there. Howard said he heard that Jeff the Drunk was really drunk and made his way onto the floor. He said he could have fallen on someone. Shuli said he did fall. Howard said there are certain people who just don't know how to behave. Howard said he heard that Joey Boots wasn't behaving. Shuli said he definitely fell off the wagon. Shuli said he was a total asshole and that's how he can tell he drank. He said Joey felt like he should be down networking with the celebrities. He said that you have to let them live their life and you live their life. He said Johnny Knoxville and Maria Menounos came up to say hi but the Wack Pack should have stayed in their booth.

  Howard said that they finally got in and now they're going to bitch that they're not on the floor. Shuli said he loves the guy but that was out of control. Howard said he learned a lesson from all of that.

  Shuli said that Fred the Elephant Boy and his girl were great. Mariann and Bobo were great too. Howard had Mariann on the phone and told her she got an A+ rating. Mariann said she went and got a hug from John Stamos and walked right back. She said she was on her best behavior. She said she didn't have one drink. She said she just soaked it all in. Mariann said there was a brawl in their box and this guy spilled booze on her. Howard said he thought Joey was on his best behavior. He said that he heard that Joey told security that a guy was trying to break in and avoided a big problem. He said that was the report he got.

  Shuli said a couple of guys walked in drunk to the Wack Pack area. He said they were knocking people over. He said he told them to get out and they wouldn't leave. He said one guy wanted to get physical and he went and told security to get them out. Mariann said that would happen at any party.

  Howard asked if Mariann left a message for Ross about not being invited to the after party. Mariann said no. She started rambling so Howard cut her off. Howard said her night is the least interesting thing about the night.

  Shuli said Pete the Asian and Mark the Bagger were there. He said Mark was fantastic. He said Medicated Pete was great and so was Sour Shoes. Howard said his mom called to thank them for having him there. Shuli said that Sour Shoes called him and left a message as a baby when he got home. Howard had that audio and Sour talks as a baby and then throws in his Gary impression and other voices while he's talking in the baby voice. He did his Gary impression and then goes into his Jackie impression.

  Howard said that Medicated Pete was singing along with the Purple Rain song at the event. Howard said Shuli taped that. Howard played a little bit of that. Shuli said he was louder than the amps. Howard said he thought that Adam Levine was going to do another song. He said they did video tape this stuff and Adam Levine was great on guitar. He said he didn't even know he played guitar. Robin said he's done it on The Voice a few times. She said he's really talented.

  Shuli said he has tape of Joey Boots yelling his love for Adam Levine. Howard said he thinks that Shuli is being hard on the guy. Shuli said there's a line with Joey. He said he gets crazy when he drinks. Howard played some of the tape of Joey yelling to Adam how much he loves him. Sour Shoes is also making noise the whole time Joey is yelling. Shuli said Sour came dressed in adult pajamas. He said that's how he walked down the red carpet.

  Howard said he has the greatest picture from the event. He said it's Heidi Klum and High Pitch Eric having a moment there. Howard said it was crazy. Shuli said they had the wack pack on the red carpet with the celebrities and that was brilliant. Howard said it was fucking crazy with the celebrities that showed up. He said Yucko was there in that filthy costume of his. He said the poor guy had to sit there in that thing all night.

  Shuli said High Pitch Eric was drinking. He said he gets extra annoying and smelly. He said his gums start bleeding at an alarming rate. He said it looked like a True Blood episode. Shuli said that Eric put his huge arm around him and told him to tell Howard how nice he was dressed. Howard said he must not ever go to a dentist.

  Shuli said Richard Roeper was there and he was sitting right below them. Howard said he didn't even know he was there. Shuli said Eric kept screaming to Richard about how great he was looking.

  Shuli said King of All Blacks was there but he heard that he left. Howard had him on the phone. King said that he ate a bunch of oysters and drank kettle one so he got sick. He said he had to leave. King said he had a great time. Howard said he can't imagine. Shuli said he showed up a little sauced and then he drank more. Shuli said this is something he was waiting for and he ruined it by drinking. Howard asked if he was throwing up. King said he was. He said he threw up in the car. Howard asked why he would do that. King said he drank at home because he was proud of himself for making a Windsor knot out of his tie. Shuli said that King was goofing on all of the Wack Packers for what they wore and then he just left. King said he saw a lot of the show. Shuli asked what the last thing was. King said he saw that tribute band that was good. Howard said he has no idea what the fuck he's talking about. Howard said he must have been at a different show. Howard hung up on him.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he listened to the show and it was amazing. He asked if Howard goes home and makes love to his wife. Howard said no. He said after the night was over he was asked if he was going to the after party. Howard said he didn't even know there was one. Howard said he wanted Beth to go to the party. He said he was up until about 1 in the morning tweeting to people. He said that he went up and fell asleep after that. He said he didn't see Beth until the next morning. He said Saturday night he did make love. He said it was either Saturday or Sunday. He said it was actually during the Super Bowl that he banged her. He said that the game was really boring and he did it during the game. Howard said he lasted a really long time too. He said he felt like a super hero.

  Howard said he's never drinking vodka again like he did that night. He said he had a hangover the next morning. Robin said she forgot the code to her house the next day because of that.

  Howard said people are talking about Philip Seymour Hoffman and how dumb he is for doing heroin. Howard said he could have had the same problem if he had gone down that road. Howard said he took acid and overdosed on it. Howard said he was young and stupid. Howard said Hoffman was locked in a bathroom doing it so he had no one there to help him. Howard said he had three kids and a live in lover. Howard said she had given him the boot from the house and told him to live on his own. Robin said he had been sober for like 20 years. Howard said he applauds the woman for doing that. He said that she can't kick herself over that. Howard said that addicts suck you into their world and they make you feel guilty. Howard said they blame you for their problems. Howard said that it's a very tricky thing to deal with addicts. He said he doesn't have a lot of experience with that but he feels so bad for the family. He said he was a great actor. Robin said she met him once at a Knicks game or something and he was just a nice guy. Howard said he hopes people don't judge him too harshly. Howard said the guy wasn't able to beat his problem.

  Howard said he has done stupid things in his life and he's thankful that they worked out. Howard said he tried everything when he was a kid. He said he used to drink tons of alcohol and take Quaaludes. He said that's a good way to stop your heart. Howard said he feels awful for Hoffman.

  Howard took a call from Wheels who said he was up in a balcony and he wasn't able to see anything. He said Ham Hands went one way and he went the other. Howard asked why he didn't say something. Wheels asked if they are going to put this out on video. Howard said he would love to stream it for charity or something. Howard said he won't sell it. He said that he would release the performances for charity or something. He said there will be some way to see it but he's sorting it all out now. Howard said Joel Gallen did a spectacular job directing it. Shuli said he walked by the monitor in the back of the house and it was the real deal.

  Wheels said he had a great time there but he thought maybe Kimmel had him up there because he blocks him on Twitter.

  Howard took a call from Captain Janks who asked how they got Kathie Lee Gifford. Howard said that was an amazing moment. He said some of the videos were lost in translation. He said they were video so they were hard to understand. Howard said that they had some good stuff there. Howard said Arnold Schwarzenegger's was great and so was George Clooney's. Howard said they were going to give that one to Entertainment Tonight. He said that they were upset Maria got an interview. Howard said that she has always been a really good sport on the show though. Howard said she looked extremely hot too. Howard said Beth looked hot too but he'll leave her out of that. Howard said Maria has great legs and she stood out. Shuli said you have to be on another scale to stand out there.

  Howard said Jewel really stood out to him too. He said that it has to be a combination of things for him. He said she's super hot. He said she did a great performance there too. He said that he had to thank her for making him seem like a great song writer. Shuli said Howard made her blush talking about how good she looked. Howard said his photography teacher was there taking pictures and he got a great one of Beth and Jewel. Howard said he did the Tonight Show many years ago and he saw Jewel ream out James Carville because he was looking at her boobs.

  Howard said his monitors are cutting out when he kicks the wood there under his desk. He said that at the birthday bash they had a bundle of wires on the floor and he almost tripped over them like 17 times. He said Jimmy laughed at that because he works on a real TV show where that stuff is hidden.

  Scott came in and Howard told him not to do anything now. He told him to wait until the break. Howard said during the broadcast his monitor went out at the birthday show. He said he asked Scott to do something but he just picked up the wires and looked at them. He said he told Will to get someone who knows what's going on to fix it.

  Howard asked Scott what that big bundle of wires was at the birthday show. Scott said they had a lot of power supplies that they had to hook up and they didn't have a chance to fix that. He said that they had the audio wires covered up but not the power supply stuff.

  Howard said Scott is really distraught this morning. He said he's not going to complain about the wires there at the birthday show. Howard said Dave Letterman almost fell over them. He said he was there to catch anyone who did.

  Howard said that guy asked how they got Kathie Lee. Howard said he has been writing to her. He said that he thought it was great when she called him a mother fucker. Howard said that was great. He said Lena Dunham was great too. He said Jeff Ross was great with Joan Rivers. Robin said they got her good too. Howard said Jeff was funny with the Guns N Noses and the i Want My Nickelback band names.

  Howard asked Gary about the Kathie Lee thing. Gary said that Jimmy was the one who got in touch with her. He said that Jimmy wrote the greeting for her. Gary said that she had bleeped the word out when they sent the tape. Howard thanked Jimmy for that. Howard said he still hasn't heard the opening monologue. He missed it yesterday when he listened too.

  Gary said that Johnny Knoxville sent him a note about what went on with him. He said that Jimmy started to introduce Johnny and they ended up blowing an amp and Knoxville is bummed that they think he was late. He said he wasn't late. Howard said that was a great part of the show anyway. He said they went to the audience and had Jeff Probst out there. Howard said it was great having Johnny there too.

  Howard said that George Takei was there. He said Jimmy was great doing the show. Howard said he came in on the red eye and then went to the show for rehearsal. Howard said that Train was great doing the music. Howard said the Black Keys were great and he's buying their CDs now. Howard said they are great. Howard said that Jeff Probst, Jeff Ross, Joan Rivers and John Mayer were great. He said he didn't even know John was coming. Gary said that he will be coming in for an interview within a month.

  Howard said it was great having Jerry Seinfeld do the video message. Howard said Jerry is calling in today too. Gary said that in the video Jerry had a gun to his head. Howard said he didn't see that.

  Howard said Chris Christie came and that was great. He said that he's a huge fan of the show. Howard said he heard a story about him getting into law school and how he was such a big fan of the show. He said he got into the car and got to school and they were doing something so he was late for his first day at law school.

  Gary said that they weren't sure what to do when he started wandering around. He said they usually just walk off but he was hanging out during Bon Jovi.

  Howard said Jon Bon Jovi is always there for them. He said he sounded great and looked great. Robin said that he is such a great vocalist. Howard said he liked that Pat Monahan was great doing the Richie Sambora lines. Howard said Heidi Klum was good too. He said that Adam Levine was great too. Howard said that he had no idea how great his guitar playing was. Howard said Louis C.K. was great. Gary said he was the second guy to commit to doing the show.

  Howard said Whoopi was great. He said it was a lot of fun. Howard said he loved the Neil Young video. Robin said that was her contribution. Howard said he thought Bryan Cranston was great doing his impression of JD. He said that was just too good. Robin said she told JD that he had been immortalized. Howard said Jimmy Fallon did that great bit that he does. Gary said he had two shows he had to do that night. Gary said he did one show before the birthday show and one after.

  Howard said he loved the Fred Armisen bit. He said that Lena Dunham was great too. He said she's very relaxed on stage. Gary said she was there with her boyfriend from the band Fun and her co-star Jemima. Howard said he didn't know that.

  Howard said David Letterman was great but he knows that the audience there didn't hear it. He said he knew the people at home loved it. Gary said that Dave was very cool that night too. He said he opened up a bit. Howard said he has to thank Arnold Schwarzenegger for doing what he did.

  Howard said Rosie O'Donnell, George Clooney and others were great too. Howard said Rosie was great. Gary said she's a pro. He said they sent her the song and she didn't change any of the words. He said she's just amazing. He said she was the easiest person to deal with.

  Howard said Stamos was great. He said that John Fogerty was great. He said he loves that guy. He said Fortunate Son is the greatest protest song ever. He said he sounds great.

  Howard said John Fogerty just put out this new album ''Wrote a Song For Everyone '' and he did Fortunate Son with the Foo Fighters. Howard said it's great. He played some of the song and said that the whole album is a bunch of remakes of his songs with other bands and it's great.

  Howard said that Ryan Phillippe did a strip for Robin. Robin said that she hated that whole thing. She said she has a phobia about people doing that to her. She said she was just frozen there. Howard asked how Ryan got up there. Gary said Eli Braden is friends with him and he was supposed to come out and sing back up and he changed his mind at the last moment.

  Howard said Dave Grohl was great too. He said he was just standing up doing those songs. Howard said Dan Patrick was great. He said Robert Downey Jr. was great too. He said he just gets up and talks and he's funny. Gary said he heard from him after the Christmas party and he asked if Benjy had worn the duck suit. He said he;s a super fan of the show.

  Howard said that Slash flew in from halfway around the world. Howard said that Steven Tyler was great and he's such a nice guy. He said that he doesn't know how to say thank you other than talking about it on the air. Howard said Robin danced with Steven and her dancing was very good. Howard said that he can't dance like that. He said Beth wanted him to dance but he just waves his arms. He said he just kept grabbing and hugging Beth instead.

  Howard said Tracy Morgan was there. Gary said Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg were there. Howard said Mary McCormack, Mark McGrath, Dr. Drew and others were there. Gary said he saw pictures of Lorne Michaels and he had no idea he was there. Howard said he heard he was hanging back stage with people and he came there with Jimmy Fallon.

  Howard said that everyone had a notarized note from Hanzi's mom other than Hanzi. He said Hanzi didn't show up. Robin said Eric the Actor must be kicking himself right now. Howard said this guy on the phone must be happy about that. Howard took a call from Vince who said that he's so happy that he didn't make it there. He said Eric blames everyone for everything but never himself.

  Shuli said that Jeff the drunk had a bunch of drinks at his feet there. He said that he ended up spilling beer on his tux. Howard said he actually looked good that day before he started drinking.

  Howard said that Jay Leno is off the air this week. He said Fallon must be starting soon. Howard said that Jay is off the air and he had a great birthday show. He said it doesn't get any better than that.

  Howard said Tan Mom was taken out of the show. Shuli said she was up in the top balcony area and they had to escort her out. Shuli said Sal had to carry her down the red carpet. He said she was flashing her vagina to the media. JD said he heard she was very combative that night. Howard said it took her taking her kid to a tanning salon to get her in the media. Howard said that he'd like to know what else was going on with her. Howard said she claims to be a good mom so who is he to judge. Shuli said there's one picture of her that makes it look like she's a wild animal. Howard said Sal is into her and he was carrying her bag and shoes. Howard said that's really disturbing that Sal is into her. Howard said even while they were hand cuffing her Sal was still trying to fuck her.

  Howard said he heard that she didn't get escorted out. Shuli said she was. Gary said he knows someone very credible who says she was.

  Howard said Gary has earned himself 2 weeks of no goofing because of the great job he did. Howard said he really did a great job with that whole thing. Howard said there was a billionaire there who makes donations to charity all the time. Howard said he was supposed to get up on stage and make a donation but then he figured it wasn't the right place to do it. Howard said they just read in the paper that he donated half a million to Bianca's Furry Friends. Howard said that's going to save so many animals lives. Howard said he stepped up so he has to thank him for that. Howard said the guy's name is Stewart Rahr. Howard said he would have thanked him that night but he wasn't looking for that.

  Shuli said Lisa G was on cloud 99. He said he knew Lisa would ramble all day Saturday if he came in to work. He said he came in Friday night instead. He said the next day Lisa was next to Jon Leiberman and this is what happened. Howard played the tape and Lisa was asking Jon about what he saw with Tan Mom there. She was also talking about how hysterical Jeff Ross was. Then she was talking about the birthday show and Jon stopped responding. She just keeps talking though. Jon is trying to work and Lisa just keeps talking. Shuli said Jon eventually snaps at her. Lisa was talking about Beth's flat stomach and how she's never had one like that. Howard asked what Jon does. Shuli said Jon will put his headphones on so it looks like he's working. Howard said that's what he has to do when Heidi Klum is singing during the breaks on AGT.

  Howard played more of the audio and Lisa was rambling on and on about the birthday show. She said it was great and Heidi Klum was great. She said she wrote down JD's name in pen so she wouldn't forget. Lisa kept talking and Jon eventually told her to stop going. She was complaining that she can't get that flat stomach so Jon told her to stop going.

  Howard said he had better take a break. He said that everyone did a great job there. Howard said Jillian Barberie did a great job on the red carpet. Howard said that he could have banged her. Howard said Beth might have gotten upset if he had. Howard said she looked beautiful. Howard said that they have a lot to get to so he has to take a break. They went to break a short time later.

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• Benjy's Pee Controversy. 02/04/14. 7:25am
  After the break we heard a news report about the birthday bash. They were reporting about what happened at the party and someone gave a Baba Booey shout out on the street. Howard came back and said that was a Joey Boots Booey Bomb out there.

  Howard said that was for him and he's the most fuckable man in America. Howard played a Miss America theme song parody about him being the most fuckable. Howard said he has to keep reminding people about that.

  Howard took a call from Jim in Raleigh who asked if Letterman would come in studio. Howard said he would love to have him on. Gary said he thinks that he will. He said there was a lot of trepidation coming on the birthday show but he thinks he'd come back. Howard said he got off about 7 of the 75 questions he had for Dave. Howard said Jimmy asked what made him ask about going to Larry Bud Melman's funeral. Howard said he just has a lot of curiosity. Howard said he

  Howard said he finds Dave fascinating. Howard said Jimmy said that was his most favorite part of the show. Howard said he had a good time with that. Howard said all of Late Night TV could have been eliminated that night.

  Gary said he heard about something he has to ask about. He said he heard that Benjy ran to the front of the building and he peed outside. He said security told him not to do that and then they brought him out to a couple of trucks to pee between. Benjy said that he went to the bathroom and he wasn't able to get in. He said that he couldn't have gotten back on stage if he had left. Howard said he could have. He said there were 1500 people that figured out how to pee without going out on the street. Benjy said there was no way for him to get back to his spot on stage. Gary said there was too. He said that's how they all did it. Benjy said he went out and asked where he could pee and they told him not to do it there and brought him somewhere else. Benjy said he was trying to get back in time.

  Howard asked Gary if he thinks that's a cry for attention. Gary said he does. He said everyone else figured out how to make it happen. Fred said he figured out where the stairs were so he could get out if he had to. Gary said he doesn't understand it.

  Howard said if he saw one of Jimmy's writers peeing in the street he wouldn't think they were professional. Benjy said he did it discretely. Gary said that he did it on the street. He said he has no idea who could have seen him peeing on the street. He said that's embarrassing. Benjy said he's sorry. Robin said he always manages do draw attention to himself.

  Howard and Gary said they thought it was a horrible thing. Gary said he does dumb fucking shit and he should apologize and not rationalize things like that. Howard said they have a weird job. He said they bring everything out on the air. Benjy said he's sorry but he thought he was doing the right thing. Howard said he was doing good until that happened.

  Benjy said he'll keep quiet what he saw people doing out on the street. Gary said he always turns it on other people. Benjy said he's not going to say what he saw other people doing out there.

  Howard said he loves working with Benjy but in any other organization this would not be tolerated. Howard said they did so much work to make this classy. He said Benjy was out pissing outside. Howard said he heard Rosie was like 20 feet away from him. Benjy said he's sorry. Gary said that's the story of how things go there. He said they just drop it.

  Gary said he doesn't know what to say. He said he just has to go. Howard told him not to. Gary said Benjy thinks he has it in for him. He said he doesn't though. He said it's like bad behavior is rewarded with him. He said he's like Teflon and it bothers the rest of the staff. Howard said he kind of is. Howard said they like his work but he's too old to be doing this stuff. Howard said that the guy is in his 40s and you'd think he'd have an Epiphany. Gary said he does a phenomenal job but if he keeps doing this stuff it's going to bother Howard and it's going to get to a point where it's just not worth it. He asked why he'd put himself in that position. Benjy said he hates being in that position and he will talk to Gary off the air about it. Benjy said he's sorry.

  Howard said someone famous wanted to meet Eric the Actor so they put a butterball turkey in a wheelchair and introduced him. He said that was fun.

• Jeff The Drunk At The Birthday Bash. 02/04/14. 7:35am
  Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk and said that he thinks that this is it for him coming to events. Howard said that he got on the main floor, drunk, and fell. Howard said he could have fallen on someone and hurt them. Howard said he thinks that he's done with him coming to these things. Jeff said that he was called down to the floor by someone. He said he's not sure who it was. He said it was some guy. Howard said he knows they can't expect him to behave but he could end up killing someone or killing himself.

  Jeff said that he went down to the floor and Ronnie said he wanted him out of there. He said that the guy who invited him said no and they still kicked him out.

  Howard asked Jeff about using the N-word. Jeff said he was just joking. Howard said he has tape of it. Howard played that and Jeff was asked how loaded he was. Jeff said he had 8 beers in him. Shuli asked him what his favorite part of the night was. Jeff told the story about the people wanting to party with him and that f'ing n-word kicked him out. Howard said he thought Ronnie kicked him out. Jeff said that's who he was referring to. Howard asked why he calls him that. Jeff said he was just being silly. Howard said if he invited Bill the Whistler to an event and he got upset that he whistled that would be wrong. Howard said they need some kind of handler for Jeff. He said that he knows Jeff is going to get drunk. He said that they have to lock him up like Hannibal Lechter. Howard said Jeff begs to get in and then he has to go meet people. He said that guy wasn't anybody. He said Ronnie did the right thing. Jeff said he doesn't think so. Howard said he does.

  Gary said he heard about Jeff dumping a beer on Dr. Drew. Jeff said that he was egging him on. He said he told him not to spill it on him so he was asking for it. Howard said this is why he won't have Jeff at these events anymore. Howard said they have to evaluate guys like this. He said that with Hanzi he's not sure what his medical situation is. Howard said Jeff collapses and falls down and he can't control himself. Jeff said he can. Howard said he won't turn down a free beer.

  Howard said he has audio of Jeff being picked up after he fell down. A bunch of guys had to lift him up. Jeff sounded really drunk in that clip.

  Howard took a call from Bobo who said that Jimmy Fallon's impressions were great and spot on. He said he also spotted something about David Spade. He said that he was talking to Heidi Klum. Bobo said Steven Tyler was in the bathroom with him too. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.

  Howard took a call from a woman who gave him her top 3 moments. She said that Howard thanking Benjy was very sincere. Howard said he didn't know he had peed outside at that time. The caller, Jenna, said watching Howard and Beth sitting with each other was great. She said the music was insane too. Jenna said no one was listening to Howard at the Hammerstein Ballroom. Howard said that's why they gave everyone headphones. Howard said it was 1500 seats and people just can't hear. He said that's the way the shows have been over the years. Howard said that people aren't rude, they just can't hear certain things. He said he's never been able to fix that problem. He said that's why they don't do live shows like that very often. They went to break after that.

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• Various Audio Clips. 02/04/14. 7:50am
  After the break we heard a prank call Mark the Bagger made to a vocal coach. We also heard a Ronnie the Limo Driver commercial parody. Fred also played Led Zeppelin's ''Kashmir'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and said he was busy during the break. He said he's been trying to pee more during the show because that Urologist guy was saying that it's good for you. Howard said that he needs to know when Jerry Seinfeld is on the phone. Howard said he has to get to JD's date too.

  Howard said he has some things on tape he wanted to share. Howard said the guys went out on the street and asked people what they thought about Howard Stern singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl. Howard said they didn't find anyone who was happy about that. Howard played some of the audio and people were saying that Howard has a bad reputation and they'll have to see how he sings. One woman said that his reputation is lousy and his voice is ugly. She told Howard Stern to go to hell. Howard said that's a person he would have thought wouldn't know who he was. He said it's like you come into this country and they give you a primer on who people are. Robin said she thinks they could have said anyone else and she would have been fine with the singer.

  Howard played another couple of clips of people responding to the fake news. The people were not happy about Howard singing the National Anthem. Howard said they don't even know if he's a good singer or not. Howard played one where an African guy said he likes Howard's voice. Howard said he's pretty sure that guy doesn't know who he is.

  Howard said he has some voice mail to play. He said Jeff the Vomit Guy wants to go on one of those cruises so he can have people vomit on him. Howard played the message where Jeff was saying he was very interested in going on a vomit cruise so he could be amongst attractive women vomiting. Howard said that guy is so creepy. He said that he's sure they could tape that though.

  Howard said Wendy the Retard called in with a rant about how he doesn't take her shopping. Howard played that clip and Wendy asked why they never do anything with her when she's up there. She said they bring Gary the Retard more time than her. She said that she doesn't appreciate that. Wendy said she wants the same love that they give to those other people. She said she feels left out there.

  Robin said Howard takes Jeff the Drunk and Gary the Retard out shopping so why not Wendy. Howard said he could do that and have her try on lingerie.

  Howard said the guys found some porn clips. He said this guy is cumming and sounds like a girl. He played the clip and the guy was breathing heavy like a woman. Howard asked if Robin would just throw that guy out of the room. Robin said she would because it sounds like something is wrong. Gary told Howard with that they have Jerry Seinfeld on the phone.

• Jerry Seinfeld Calls In. 02/04/14. 8:05am
  Howard had the theme song from Seinfeld playing as he got Jerry on the phone. Howard said that was his theme music. Jerry said he recognized it. Howard asked if that's some guy's mouth doing that. Jerry said it's a bass guitar. He said he was there when they created the music. Howard said they must have paid that guy for that. Howard said the guy who wrote the theme song for the Tonight Show, Paul Anka, came in there and said what he made from that. Jerry said he'd like to know what kind of money he made. Howard said he can't remember. He had Gary look it up.

  Howard said Jerry is on the phone to promote the season finale of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee which features Howard Stern. Howard said he likes the show but he's been unable to find the new season.

  Howard said he can't find the new season. Jerry said they did something different with Howard's episode. He said that he cut together all of the scenes where they're attacking each other. He said it's so great. He said Howard comes off very funny in it. He said that they talked about their fathers and it was very sweet and very powerful. He said it's something you wouldn't see in any other talk show.

  Howard said they taped it during the summer and they taped for about 3 hours. Howard said Jerry edits the show and he thought he was going to cut it down to about 20 minutes. Howard said that comedians will leave in their own funny lines but maybe not his. Jerry asked if he thinks that's the kind of guy he is. Howard said he does.

  Howard said he felt romanced by Jerry. He said he had him out to his house a couple of times. Once the show was taped he was done with him. He said that he felt used. Jerry laughed. Howard said that he thought they were on their way to have a great relationship. Jerry said they had a great interview on Howard's show and he still hears about that. He said he's not sure what it is about that interview.

  Howard said he and Jerry grew up around the same area and they're the same age. Howard asked if he went to any of those AZA Jewish parties. Jerry said he has no idea what he's talking about. Howard said he went to one and all of his friends hooked up but he was so hard up and didn't hook up with anyone.

  Howard asked if he was the funniest out of this season's shows. Jerry said he tries to find the best out of each person.

  Jerry said they went to a supermarket and played a game trying to figure out how much things cost. Howard said he was surprised that Jerry didn't know the cost of things.

  Jerry said that he finds it hard to believe that people are interested in his 11 minutes of show after listening to Howard for 5 hours.

  Howard said that someone said they saw the episode and it was very funny. Jerry said it is very funny. He said it's fun to see those two guys in that setting.

  Howard said Jerry picked him up in a Pontiac GTO. Jerry said he did that because it's very loud and a ''here I am world'' kind of car. Howard asked how they make money doing that show. Jerry said they have a sponsor and it's not very expensive to make. Howard said there's talk of it going to regular TV. Jerry said it seems like a step back. Howard said he knows Jerry doesn't want that kind of pressure. Jerry said he likes it being this personal thing.

  Howard said that commercial came on during the Super Bowl and it was promoting Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee but he heard it was given to them for free. Howard asked what was going on there. Jerry said FOX wanted something to relate to New York. He said they wanted a Seinfeld reunion and that led to him talking to Larry David about it. He said they didn't get any money but they got 5 seconds at the end to promote the show. He said he got something out of it to promote something for FOX.

  Howard said he must have been nervous about it. Jerry said he was and Howard is very perceptive. Howard said he knows that he doesn't want to do a reunion show. Jerry said he was nervous about it and he didn't want to ruin the whole thing. Howard asked why they didn't have Michael Richards and Julia Louis Dreyfus come in. Jerry said it was only a 90 second commercial. He said they can't jam everyone in it.

  Howard said he saw the commercial for their episode and he thought that he was going to use his own jokes but not his. Howard said he got off a joke about how he looks like a hip wicket witch of the west. Jerry laughed. Howard asked how he prepares for those shows. Jerry said he doesn't.

  Howard thanked Jerry for the video he did for the birthday show. Jerry said that he would have been there if he could have been. Howard said he really enjoyed that party. He said he let other people do their thing and didn't obsess over things. He said it was a great time.

  Howard asked why he won't host the Oscars. Jerry said he doesn't feel he could do anything that great with it. He said it's kind of a thankless thing. He said it doesn't look like that much fun. Howard said he agrees but he thinks Jerry would be good at it. Jerry said he's not that kind of guy though. Howard said he thinks Jerry talks people out of working. He said he thinks he did that with Jay Leno and he tried to do that with him. Jerry said he admires that Howard has the energy to do the show. Howard said Jerry still works too though. He said he's working every day.

  Howard said he just read that Jerry is still the highest earning comedian. Jerry said wow. Howard asked if he's going to do that Larry David project. Jerry said that was a rumor and there never was a project. It was just the super bowl commercial.

  Howard asked Jerry about something he said about being married. Jerry said that you think about where you can go that it will get better and it all turns out to be the same if you marry someone else. He said you end up working with who you have. Howard said he thinks he's right. Howard said there's no reason to go through the whole mess and deal with the same problems. Jerry said Howard got divorced and married again but he's happier. That goes against what he was saying.

  Gary came in and said that Paul Anka was making about 700-800,000 from the song from the Tonight Show. Howard said that Johnny Carson wanted to own the song because he knew what the residuals would be. Howard said that's tacky.

  Howard asked Jerry why he said that Charlie Chaplin is the one guy he'd want to go back and meet. Howard said the guy was a physical comedian and Jerry works with his mind. Jerry said all comedy is the same on some level. Howard asked if it really is. Jerry said yes.

  Howard said Jerry did a joke about how moisture ruins leather. Howard said he's been thinking about that since the summer. Howard read some of his other jokes and said he's nervous about seeing this episode. Jerry told him not to be. He said they had some great conversations and they put a bunch of them in the episode.

  Howard said he asked Jerry about having a home office and they talked about their MAD Magazine covers. Howard said both of them said those were the highlights in their lives. Howard said that they ended up exchanging emails about that. Howard said that it was like the lights went on in the room when he saw his MAD cover. Howard said he remembers when he got his first MAD magazine. Howard said his cousin worked for Warner Brothers and he took a cover of a Playboy and taped it to a MAD magazine. Howard said it was all of these weird cartoon drawings. He said he realized it was MAD Magazine and it was great. He said he cared more about that than Playboy. Jerry said he didn't remember how he found out about MAD. He said the second he started reading it the lights came on and he realized that's what he loves.

  Howard said he had every MAD Magazine and his mother ended up giving them away to a neighbor. Howard said he couldn't believe that. Jerry and Howard talked about some of their favorite things they saw in MAD. Howard said his favorite movie parody was Sparatuchas. Howard said it was so good.

  Howard asked Jerry about what the deal is with their friendship. He said he invited Jerry over but he was busy. Jerry said he knows Howard doesn't like to circulate in regular ways. He said he likes to go to diners and places like that. He said maybe they should go get one of those shakes he was talking about. Howard said that's GNC. He said they can do that. Howard said he thinks that people will see a chemistry between them.

  Howard said Jerry had him over to his house for a party and Whitney Cummings was out of control. Howard said he thought it was great. Howard asked if he was upset with that. Jerry said he wasn't. He said that story has been beaten to death though. He said that people thought it was really funny. Howard said he brought her there and he thought that they were going to be upset with her rubbing her vagina on the couch. Howard asked if they had it cleaned. Jerry said they threw it out.

  Howard gave Jerry some plugs for ComediansInCarsGettingCoffee.com and the final episode which is with him. Howard asked what he'll do with the material they don't use. Jerry said he has some ideas but he's not ready to announce what he wants to do with it. Howard said there were a lot of great moments. Jerry said there really were. He said that the supermarket thing is great. He said Howard will enjoy that. Jerry said he got Howard to eat a chocolate brownie. Howard said he's down 30 pounds from that. Howard said he's at his fighting weight now. Howard said he had a six pack when he was on vacation in December. Howard said he was voted most f'able man in America by BachelorUncut.com.

  Howard said that Jerry doesn't curse in his personal life. Howard asked him to say cunt but he refused. He would only say tushie. Jerry said that he's used to that from stand up. He said he won't say anything crazy on this show. Howard asked if he has ever used the N-word. Jerry said only in front of black people to be funny. Robin told him to do it now. Jerry said if he had something funny he'd do that. He said he's very sensitive about that word. Howard asked if he's ever had anyone get upset with him about it. Jerry said he hates the word intensely. He said that he's very sensitive about it. Howard said he stopped using the word ''fag'' because he didn't realize the ramifications. They talked about how the word ''retard'' is causing problems for Lebron James.

  Howard asked Jerry if it's true that Jay Leno has more cars than him. Jerry said it is. Howard said Jerry has a bunch though. Jerry said he does. Howard asked Jerry how he feels about Philip Seymour Hoffman . Jerry said he feels really bad about that. Howard said addiction is so difficult. Howard said he could have dropped dead himself. He said he overdosed on acid and it was a horrible experience. Howard said he didn't know what he was doing.

  Howard asked Jerry if he thinks Leno will do another late night show. Jerry said he doesn't think so. Howard said that he knows Jerry had that talk with Jay about not doing something else. Jerry said he knows from talking with him that it's not something he's thinking about. He said he may do a show about cars or something. Howard said he should pick people up in cars and have coffee with them. Jerry said that's a good idea.

  Howard said he and Jerry had a good time shooting that show. He gave him more plugs for the show and asked what he's doing today. Jerry said he's going to do some TM and then stay home in his office. He said he has some calls to make and some things to write. He said he's working on some material about parents reading to their kids. Jerry said his bedtime story was just darkness.

  Jerry said that Howard got that in his head when he brought up how their parents didn't do that kind of thing. Howard said that Jerry can come in and do another interview. He said that he did that great one but they can have another one. He said that they've earned the right to talk and just be shitty. Howard let Jerry go a short time later.

  Howard said he is looking forward to seeing this thing. Robin said she is too. Howard said he's always worried about how it's going to be edited. Robin said Jerry looked at it and this is the way he wants to present it. Howard said that they mount the cameras in the car and they have a car in front of you with a camera pointed through the glass. Howard said they have to be the worst camera angles ever. Howard said he just gave in and went with it.

  Howard said some of the pictures that came out of the birthday show he looked hideous. He said he looked okay in some of them though. Robin said she didn't see many. She did see the nightmare picture of Ryan Phillippe dancing for her. Robin said she felt like he had done that before when he was doing it to her. Howard said that she had a good birthday show experience with all of the good looking guys there. Robin said she had a good time. She said that she didn't touch Ryan when he was dancing for her though. Howard said that took him by surprise. Howard said he has to take a break and then get to JD. They went to break after that.

• JD's Birthday Bash Date. 02/04/14. 8:50am
  After the break Howard came right back and said he wanted to play another John Fogerty song from his new album (Wrote a Song For Everyone). This was ''Born on the Bayou'' with Kid Rock. Howard said he liked that one too. Howard said it's a good record.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said the party was great. He said before the show Leiberman was talking to JD and people kept asking him questions about his date. He said JD kept saying he had to go. Howard said he has a feeling JD will tell them what happened and they'll still have no idea what went on.

  Howard had JD come in and played a song parody about JD by Daniel Mendelson. Robin laughed as that was playing. Howard said that Daniel was great on stage at the birthday show. He said he brought the house down. Robin said Psych almost fell off the stage. Howard said he really is blind.

  Howard said that JD had a date with Megan. JD said the night was fine. Howard said JD had to work during the show but when did he meet up with her. JD said he was texting with her and he had to do some stuff during the pre-show. He said he had her wait in her car until he got to her with her tickets. He said that was a cluster fuck on its own. He said he was trying to tell her where to go and she wasn't understanding so it was off to a rocky start. JD said no one understands him when he's talking.

  Howard said he didn't get to look him over very much that night. He said he didn't look bad. JD said he was in the suit he wore to the Gravity premiere. Howard said he looked good from what he could see.

  JD said he eventually got Megan and her friend into the event. He said she was decked out. He said the friend was fine too. Howard said it was going good so far. JD said they walked the red carpet and held her hand. Howard asked if he felt weird doing that. JD said he was fine. Howard asked if she had a sweaty hand. JD said she was fine. Howard said this whole birthday party was a charade just to get JD a date.

  Howard asked JD if she was taken with the whole red carpet thing. JD said they were both out of their element. He said they got in and Megan and her friend got a drink. Howard said the first person he ran into inside was Megan. JD said he had no idea where to take her so he stood there while they got their drinks. Howard asked if she kissed him hello. JD said that would have been awkward.

  JD said he got someone to take Megan and her friend up to their seats. He said he was able to talk to her but he's not sure how the conversation was. JD said he didn't have a drink with her either. He said he didn't drink until way later on.

  JD said he went to work and he had a lot of things going on so he wasn't able to text her very much. He said he had to charge his phone during the show so he had to deal with that. He said he was tweeting for the Stern show too so he was worried about the iPad dying.

  JD said he had to meet up with Megan after the show. He said he had to grab all of his stuff. He said right after the show she was telling him that the car wasn't going to wait much longer. JD said he grabbed his stuff and there were a million people waiting out there. He said people were yelling at him. He said it was nice but he had to go find his car. He said he found the car and went to the after party.

  JD said that he had to walk her into the after party. He said he was beat so he had to get a second wind going. He said she was sitting in the car and she was way excited to go into the party. JD said he was exhausted. He said they got into the party and he sat her down and got some drinks. He said it was very loud there. Howard said he heard how loud it was. He asked if the friend was there. JD said that the friend did end up leaving at some point.

  Howard asked JD if he kissed her at all. JD said he won't say how far things got. He said they didn't get that far. Howard asked if they did kiss. JD said they did in the cab on the way back. Howard sounded impressed. Howard asked if they went back to either of their places together. JD said they didn't. He said he dropped her off. JD said that she did ask him if he was doing this just to get laid. He said he told her he wasn't and she should just calm down. He said they had a nice kiss that was longer than a peck. He didn't get the tongue though. He said it was a little bit of a kiss. It wasn't even what he'd call it making out.

  Howard asked if she asked about Will at all. JD said she didn't. He said they left it with they'd see what would happen. JD said on Sunday he got a text saying that she may not be happy with the attention she was getting. Howard said she's blaming JD for that. Howard said if she was dating George Clooney then she wouldn't be complaining.

  JD said he's not sure what people are saying but she isn't happy with whatever it was she read. JD said he texted her yesterday and she still wasn't feeling any better. Howard said it sounds like she's blowing him off. JD said he's not sure what's going to happen.

  Robin asked what someone could have said about her. Howard said he doesn't think anyone said anything. JD said that people might be harassing her. He said he really doesn't know. He said she didn't want this to be talked about that much so he told her he'd try. He said she's not used to the attention.

  Gary said she had no problem coming on the air to get the ticket. He said this isn't fair to JD. Howard said some of it is unexpected but at the same point she got to go to the show and she was with JD. He said they gave it a shot. JD said if nothing happens that's fine. He said it was a fun night and she was fun to hang out with.

  JD said Ralph was at the after party and he was so drunk. He said Ralph had his hands all over her. He said he was trying to lift her dress. He said he had to pull her away from Ralph. Howard said Ralph does that all the time. Howard said JD is having a hard enough time and he wondered why he's cock blocking him.

  Ronnie came in and said he observed a few things. He said that the friend that came with Megan was the biggest mouth of all of them. He said she was pushing JD out of the way to get into the pictures. Ronnie said she wasn't the quiet girl everyone thought she was. He said that bringing that friend along was the biggest mistake there was. Ronnie said JD told him off the record that the friend was the biggest pain in the ass. JD said he never said that. Ronnie said he heard JD wanted to punch her in the face. JD said she kept yelling for Howard and he asked her to calm down. JD said at the after party the friend was trying to talk to John Mayer and Steven Tyler.

  Ronnie said he wasn't going to say anything until he heard about the text message. He said he will never hear from her again. JD said that's fine. Howard asked if it would have went down differently if the friend wasn't there. Ronnie said the girl was only there to be at the show.

  Howard said he disagrees with Ronnie. He said that he's not sure this is the last JD will hear from her. Howard said he thinks that he's being hard on her. Howard said she's not coming there to fuck JD. Howard said that they had a little romance. Howard said they did kiss. Ronnie said that's not romance.

  Ronnie said he hates to see JD being used. He said she was into everything when she was on the air. Ronnie said she's probably getting hammered by her friends and family and now she's dropping the whole thing. Ronnie said he hates when people use JD like that. Howard said he's not sure he's getting used. Ronnie said he's looking for a relationship. Ronnie said that he thinks the teacher would have been a better choice.

  Howard said he thought the Bryan Cranston impression of JD was great but JD didn't seem to like it. JD said he didn't even know what was happening. He said he thought it was pretty awesome actually. Howard said A-list celebrities don't impress JD. Only spoon collections do. He said it's spoons and fast food. Howard said he saw that McDonald's was up to something with a new food.

  Howard asked if anyone wants to come in and talk about anything at the birthday show. JD said he has to apologize to Sarah Silverman. He said he was talking to someone and that person was lifting her arm and hit Sarah in the face. JD said later on Sarah came over and said that he hit her in the face but it wasn't him. He said that Maria Menounos looked so good and he wanted to dance with her at the after party. He said that she looked really good. He said Jewel and Katie Couric looked really good too. JD said there were a lot of hot chicks there. He said they had some hot chicks at the catering company too. Robin said he should have just moved in on her. JD said he couldn't do that.

  Howard read some of the posts that David Spade made during the show. He had some observations about Barbara Walters texting during the Bon Jovi performance. He also had something about David Letterman having a VIP wrist band on like he'd have trouble getting back stage there. Howard said that's about it. He said that he knows Ronnie is upset about the date.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he's killing it with the show. He said he called over 700 times trying to get tickets. He said he thinks that the girl used them to get into the show. Howard said she came in and played the game and gave it a shot. Howard said he doesn't look at things so ominously. Howard said she came in and thought it would be fun and went on the date with JD. He said he's not sure what she's supposed to do. Howard said he's going to take another break and then do the news. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.

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• Robin's News. 02/04/14. 9:25am
  After the break Howard came right back and said he has so much to play but he'll save it for tomorrow. Howard said he has to get to the news. Robin was missing for a few seconds. She said she forgot to turn on her mic. Howard said he heard about Philip Seymour Hoffman and he heard about that from Dwight Douglas. Howard said he was listening to Major Tom when he got that email and that's what Major Tom is about. Robin and Fred said they're not aware of that. Howard said he's always known it was a drug song. Howard said it was so eerie when he found out the news while listening to that song. Howard had Fred play the song and told Robin that it's about a guy taking a trip. He said it's all about getting high. Robin said she doesn't get it. She didn't get the drug reference at all. Howard kept explaining it line by line. Robin said she has to look this up. Howard kept going and said that he doesn't have to spell this out for her. He said she's smart. Robin said they say that some people say it was about a British cyclist who died of a drug overdose. Howard said he's right then.

  Howard said he can't believe that Estero never became a huge star. He said he listens to her music and he can't believe she never caught on. Howard said he likes her song ''Breath.'' Robin said she knows that song. Howard said she did her thing back in the 90s and he listened to her music.

  Robin read something on the internet about Bowie talking about Major Tom being about a junkie strung out. Howard said he told her that. Howard said he's a music expert. He said he was spinning records when Robin was in diapers. Howard said that song ''Lets Dance'' is about flossing your teeth. Fred played Estero's song that Howard mentioned. Howard gave up listening to that after about 10 seconds.

  Howard said he has a new song parody about Robin. He said it's called Purple Vein. Howard said his name is Zachary Mechler. He played the song and Robin said it was terrible. Howard said it's great. He told her to listen to the lyrics. it was to the tune of Purple Rain and it was about the purple vein's in the guy's cock.

  Howard took a call from a guy who mentioned a line in another Bowie song where he says Major Tom is a junkie. Howard said he's right. Robin remembered that too.

  Robin got into her news and had a story about Hanna Davis who dated Derek Jeter. Robin said she's a swimsuit model. Howard said this guy is such a cocksman. Robin said he broke up with her because her career is taking off. Howard said that's what the paper says. He said Jeter might be breaking up with her because she's not around. Howard said you have to admire the guy for the women he's dated. Howard said you have to admire him and David Spade too. Howard said David is a cocksman too. He said he never gets attached. Howard said he knows how to bang and then he moves on. Howard said he does it quietly too. Robin said that hasn't stopped George Clooney. Howard said he is a gentleman. Howard said he gives the women a little parting gift. Howard said he wants to see a book from Clooney about all of that. Howard said Clooney, Spade, Jeter and Stamos all know how to do it. Robin said some people fuck themselves right out of the show. they never want to come in and talk about their sex lives so they never get to do the show. Robin said she's guessing Derek Jeter won't be on the show any time soon.

  Robin read a story about Ryan Phillippe being so drunk that he signed his bill laying on the floor of a bathroom at a night club. Howard said he's just having a good time. Robin said security had to carry him out. That was on Saturday night.

  Howard read a headline about how the NFL doesn't pay taxes because the IRS sees them as a non-profit. Robin said that's wild. Howard said that there's a congressman who wants to fix that. Howard said it's a trade association so they don't pay taxes. Benjy said that the individual teams pay taxes but the NFL doesn't. Howard said they say that they make $9.5 billion and that's all considered non-profit. Howard said they'll have to read the whole article to figure this out and he's not going to do that. Howard kept reading though and they say that many of the stadiums use tax payer money. Howard said they are saying that the teams are tax exempt. Robin said she has to look into that. She said they could solve their deficit problems if they taxed the teams.

  Robin read about Woody Allen and how people are wondering if he should be winning awards. Howard said he had Mia Farrow in his movie and he has talked about this stuff before. He said that there are some things about Woody that he claims aren't true but the kids say are true. Robin and Howard were talking about the case and how there was probable cause with the 7 year old. Howard said he doesn't know what went down there. He said he goes by the Soon Yi thing because that showed horrible judgment on his part. Howard said a man would have said that wasn't appropriate but he said ''the heart wants what the heart wants.'' Howard said it's creepy to support the guy. He said it's very confusing though because he has an explanation too. Gary said he was upset about that story. He said the writer made it seem like Woody barely dated Mia but he was with her for 15 years. Gary said he was around Soon Yi for so long from when she was a young girl. Howard said that's why he finds it so hard to believe that Hollywood gets behind a guy like that. Howard said they are willing to compromise their values when it comes to Woody. Robin said Dylan Farrow gets upset when she sees these things because it discounts her as a human being. Gary said people have a hard time separating that movie from his personal life. Gary said that you can still make a great movie and do terrible things as a human being. Howard said what Woody did to Mia Farrow's life is what he's going by. He said that he ran off with his girlfriend's adopted daughter. Howard said he's not sure why Hollywood embraces him. Gary said he's very good at what he does. Howard said he does love his movies. He said you have to honor his movies he guesses.

  Robin read a story about a school counselor who was taking advantage of troubled boys. Robin read about what this guy was doing to the kids and how he had cameras set up to film them. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read a story about the winter weather that's hitting the north east. They're supposed to get another snow storm tomorrow. Howard moaned like he was in pain hearing that story. Robin said this is going to cause problems with airlines and other travel.

  Robin read a story about Philip Seymour Hoffman being found dead on Sunday after a heroin overdose. Howard said that it has to be dangerous being a heroin addict and being rich. Howard said that apartment had a stash that could last a lifetime. Robin said they found 50 unopened packets and 20 open. Howard said it's like being a food addict and having candy wrappers all over the house. Howard said that this guy was 46 and had all the money in the world. Howard said he was able to go out and score it. Robin said they're going to see if they can find out who was bringing it to him. Howard said that's the scariest part of the whole thing. He said that if the stuff was controlled by the government then maybe he'd be okay. Howard said Hoffman was great as Truman Capote. Robin said he was in so many great movies. She mentioned a bunch and said he was great in so many. Robin said they had a picture of him that was just taken about 2 weeks ago and he told a reporter that he was a heroin addict. Robin said he was obviously in the throws. Robin said he was telling people that he had just gotten out of rehab. Robin had a news report about Hoffman and how he knew he had an addiction that could be fatal.

  Robin read about the Super Bowl and how awful it was from beginning to end. Robin said last night Letterman had one of the Seahawks on and he was talking about how no one saw that blow out coming. Robin had some audio of one of the guys talking to Letterman.

  Robin read a story about the upcoming debt ceiling problem that's coming up once again. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on that.

  Robin said they didn't talk about the Super Bowl commercials. Howard said he wasn't even paying attention. Robin said that the Seinfeld commercial was a good one. Robin said she liked the Matrix parody. Howard said he should write them down but he kinda didn't care. He said he wasn't laughing or anything so he was just texting and tweeting instead. Howard said the one that got his attention for being weird was the Scientology commercial. He said if you have to advertise then you must need that kind of attention. Howard said it was a weird commercial. Howard said that didn't win him over at all. He said he didn't get sucked in but maybe someone did. Robin had some audio of a Coca Cola commercial and that led to Howard going off on them for selling sugared water to children. He said that's like selling poison.

  Robin read about how people were condemning the coke commercial because it was sung in different languages. Howard said he's not sure why they're trying to teach lessons in commercials. He said they mix patriotic stuff with beer and soda water. He said it kind of rubs him the wrong way. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read a story about what Joe Namath wore at the Super Bowl. Howard said he was wearing every dead animal. Robin said men wearing fur looks odd. Howard asked what rare species was he wearing. Robin said they say it was just a fur coat. He bought it at a New York Furrier last week. Robin said he didn't have a problem with it but PETA did. Howard said he looked like a massive idiot wearing it. Howard said that is such a bizarre fashion statement. Howard said a tranny might wear that. Robin said that word isn't acceptable anymore. Robin said he might have to say the whole word. Howard said he has never looked at a fur coat like that and wanted one.

  Robin said Chris Christie is denying once again that he had any knowledge of the George Washington Bridge lane closures. Robin said Christie is awaiting all the facts before making a statement. Robin said he's not letting this get in the way of him doing his job. Robin said one of his bodyguards is accused of shoplifting. Robin read about how he's been suspended from the State Police.

  Robin read about an FDA ad campaign for kids that's targeting young people who are thinking about trying cigarettes.

  Robin read about the world health organization and how they're sounding the alarm about cancer and how it could grow over the next couple of decades. Robin said they say that we have to cut back on smoking, alcohol consumption and concentrate on doing more exercise. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read a story about Pete Seeger's funeral and had some audio of people singing his songs at the funeral.

  Robin read a story about Jackson Browne fans getting a taste of a tribute album for him. Robin had a clip from that album where Bonnie Raitt sang one of his songs.

  Robin read about it being Black History month and how there are going to be some ads highlighting African American republicans. Robin said she's not sure who else is republican other than Condoleeza Rice. Howard said there are others. He said FOX News has them on all the time. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:20am.

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• Wrap Up Show - JD's Date. 02/04/14. 10:25am
  Jon Hein started the show talking about JD's date. He asked JD if he was happy about today's discussion. JD said he's happy for the most part. He said that's basically what happened. Jon asked if he could see a future with her. JD said it was just a first date kind of thing. He said he's not sure he can see something like that. Jon said that you build on that if you do. He said you do get some kind of gut feeling. JD said that he enjoyed her company. He said he'll just have to see.

  Gary said he thinks that Ronnie was a little hard on her. Gary said it was just a contest for a date, not to fuck JD. He said that she went out with him and that's that. He said that they had a date but that's all she promised to do.

  Jon said that JD seemed to be having a good time with her. He said that's what they're trying to figure out with this whole thing. Jon said you can feel chemistry pretty early on. He said that he's trying to figure out if there is something to build on there. Gary asked if he wants another date. JD said he would go out with her again. Gary said now they just need an answer from her.

  Jon asked if JD is upset with Ronnie. JD said that he's just letting Ronnie think what he wants to think. He said he really doesn't know what's going on.

• Wrap Up Show - Benjy's Pee. 02/04/14. 10:30am
  Jon moved on to talk about Benjy and how pissed off Gary was. Gary said that 1500 people figured out where to pee but he didn't. Jon said he did apologize. Gary said it was kind of tepid though. Gary said that it's all about how you deal with it. He said he thought he was going to have some kind of crazy excuse. He said he doesn't like the way he lashes out at others when they bring up something he did.

  Jon said that Gary would have been just as mad at JD if he did the same thing. He said they're trying to do something classy and you can't be doing something like that. Gary said he was trying to get the point across to him that he can't keep doing this stuff because he's going to wear Howard down and he's going to let him go some day.

  Benjy came in and said that he's sorry he did that. Jon said that Benjy must know he was doing something wrong. He said he knows he shouldn't be pissing out there. Benjy said it was a decision in the moment. He said he was scared that he wouldn't get back and be able to get on stage. Gary told him there was a plank that went down that he could have used. Gary said he could have gotten back no problem. Benjy said he was afraid he was going to fall if he went back the way he's talking about. Gary said maybe the way to go was to get a hold of someone and ask them to help him get off the stage.

  Benjy said that he was going to pee in a bottle under the table and he's glad he didn't do that. Jon asked if he thinks Gary hates his guts right now. Benjy said that he does kind of. He said that he thinks he knows why. He said he thinks Gary feels that he has undermined him and disrespected him. Gary said he's spot on. Jon asked if he feels that's fair. Benjy said he's not sure. He said he'd have to talk to him off the air about it.

  Gary said he's going to step into the vortex now. He said that they can pull him out if they want to. Gary said he knows Benjy got mad at him when he wanted to pull him off the air last week. Gary said that he had a conversation with him not to bring it up on the air and he still did. He said Howard didn't even ask him about it.

  Benjy said Gary said to him that he didn't want it brought up on the Wrap Up Show. Gary said what he said was that he didn't want it brought up again at all. Benjy said he felt at the time that Howard was giving him some allowance. Gary said he wasn't though. He said that they dealt with that whole thing and Benjy brought it up and it was like he was sticking a big middle finger right in his face. Benjy said that's not what his intention was. He said he wasn't even talking about that issue at the time. Gary said he felt he was.

  Jon said he's pulling Gary out of the vortex. Benjy was still talking about how he knows there's something Gary would prefer and Howard will ask if there's anyone who doesn't want them on the show. Benjy said that he might go against Gary's wishes but not to break his authority. Gary said he thinks that he's a brighter guy than he's acting right now. He said he thinks that Benjy wants what he wants and he won't let it go.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said Howard is always asking JD about falling in love with a woman so fast. He said that it's no wonder that these women bail. He said that he has this weird thing with love. Gary said that the women on The Bachelor don't have a problem with that. He said that the women who were there for the game are fine with it. He said that they're just being asked if they feel they could be in love.

  Jon asked JD if he feels the pressure. JD said he does. He said the fans want him to bang the chick. He said people push it into a spotlight that he doesn't want. Gary said that it can be like a soap opera and people care about him. He said if they didn't care about him then they wouldn't bring it up. JD said that some people are just assholes. Gary said that's just life. JD said he's not a fan of life sometimes.

  Jon asked JD how stressed he was. JD said he wanted to make sure he did his role for the show as good as he could. He said he wanted to make sure everyone was happy. Jon asked if he wants to have a relationship that's under the radar. JD said he does want something of substance.

  JD said that social media has really ruined things. He said people want to get into your personal life. He said that people found out who she was and she had to get off of Facebook because of it. Jon said they had to take a break after that.

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• Wrap Up Show - Jerry Seinfeld And Leiberman's Lisa G Tape. 02/04/14. 10:45am
  After the break Jon moved on to talk about Jerry Seinfeld and the Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. Jon said that their relationship seems to be in a good place. Gary said it's in a great place. He said he's glad that Jerry comes on the show. He said he is a big deal so he's happy about that.

  Jon said that Jerry doesn't like attention and he just likes to do his work and go perform stand up. He said that Howard sand Jerry don't have to work but they enjoy it. Jerry doesn't want to do the Oscars. Gary said that he just doesn't want to be bothered with it. He doesn't feel that need that he has to do it.

  Gary and Jon talked about the MAD Magazine discussion and how cool it was for them when they were kids and they got it. Gary said that they had like 7 channels and only a few magazines to choose from back then.

  Jon asked Jon Leiberman about the tape of him with Lisa G. Leiberman said that was from a Saturday morning after the birthday bash. He said they were there from 10am to whenever that night and then they were back at work on Saturday. He said he was trying to get his work done and the tape was only about 10 percent of what he heard. He said Lisa did a rundown of the show that was about as long as Howard's was today. He said he can't say anything to Lisa because it will continue no matter what he says. He said it's very awkward not to respond. He said that he will interject at times just to keep the conversation going but most of it is just nonsense.

  Gary said he wishes people could see how small the news room is. He said there is nowhere to go. Gary asked if he can go somewhere and do his work somewhere else. Leiberman said that he has to do his work in there and he has to just try to ignore it. Gary asked if it's weird that she doesn't slow down even when he ignores her. Leiberman said that it's just stuff that he has nothing to say about. He said he's not sure what he can say to her. He said he has nothing to add to those discussions. Leiberman said he's glad that the listener gets to hear what they go through every day.

  Jon took a call from a woman who asked if they could do another live show like a Howard-Con or something like that. She said that a lot of fans missed out on this. She said that she thinks there is a place for normal people to celebrate the show. Gary said they're always kicking around ideas. He said even if they did a show that wasn't celebrity oriented to put it in a venue big enough for everyone to go to makes it sound bad. He said even the shows at the Hard Rock were hard to hear. He said he doesn't think they can ever do a show in a big enough place for everyone to go to and have it sound good.

  Jon said they set the bar high with this show. He said it's going to be tough to top that one. Gary said that's why you don't do it again. He said that's the great thing about Howard. He said he doesn't have to try to top himself every year. They went to break a short time later.

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• Wrap Up Show - More Birthday Bash Discussions. 02/04/14. 11:00am
  After the break Jon moved on to talk about how everyone was happy to be at the party. Gary said they had the right people there. He said they had everyone on the staff that worked out great too. Gary said he's still exhausted from the whole thing. He said he didn't get home until 3:30 in the morning. He said he had to take his son into the city on Saturday night so he hasn't been getting a lot of sleep. He said he is getting sleep but it's not lasting long enough. Jon said that everyone is like that.

  Gary said he was on the phone all day Saturday with Howard, Jon Hein and Ross. He said he was on the phone on Sunday too and his son is wondering what's going on. Jon said they have the awful weather going on too.

  Jon said he didn't know that Robin had that fear of getting a dance from someone like Ryan Phillippe did to her. Benjy said she was molested so she might have a sensitivity to that. Jon said she felt bad because Ryan asked her if she was okay with it. Gary said that they might be making more of this than it is.

  Jon asked Jon Leiberman what he had coming up today. Jon ran down a list of what they had coming up today. He mentioned a story about Joey Boots falling off the wagon. Gary said what really pissed him off about that is that Joey made him feel guilty about not giving him tickets and saying he might fall off the wagon if he didn't get tickets. Then he gets tickets and falls off the wagon anyway. Leiberman said that he has a new book coming out and you can find out more on his Twitter account @ReporterJon. Jon ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:05am.

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• Leiberman Live With Wendy The Retard Clips. 02/05/14. 6:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: A prank call the guys made to a heating and cooling company using clips of Howard Stern doing an impression of his mother, Graham Nash performing ''Chicago'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio.

  Howard started the show talking about how Donovan is going to stop by today. He said he's got a guitar so they'll do that and talk. Howard said he loves that guy. Robin said he covered one of his songs. Howard said that's right. He said you know he likes you if he covers your song.

  Howard said Jon Leiberman has a show on at 4:45 in the afternoon. He said he had Wendy the Retard on the show with King of All Blacks. He played a clip from the show where Wendy the Retard was vomiting while she was on the line. Wendy said she was throwing up because she ate too much. She said she eats 24 hours a day. Jon asked her a question about Philip Seymour Hoffman and if they're glamorizing heroin use by covering his death. Wendy said no because you're free to say whatever you want.

  Howard said you can tell she's used to throwing up. He said it doesn't phase her at all. Robin wondered where she threw up. Howard said he's imagining that she just threw up on the floor. He said at another point King of All Blacks is talking and you can hear Wendy gagging. He played the clip and said you have to listen. King and Jon were talking about the Super Bowl and Wendy was gagging and coughing. Howard said she's never going to find a boyfriend making those noises.

  Howard said this is the best show. He said in the middle of the show she was looking for her cat that she hasn't seen in years. Howard said the cat is probably under her vomit. Howard played the clip and Wendy started calling her cat while King was talking. Howard said Wendy was the whole show. Robin said she should be on every night.

• Phone Calls, Audio Clips And Birthday Bash Talk. 02/05/14. 6:10am
  Howard said Rod Stewart sent him a nice gift. He sent some flowers and a card. Robin said that's very nice. She said she heard David Arquette sent a gift too. Howard said it's some kind of art but he hasn't seen it yet. Howard said he got a nice note from a New Jersey Senator who wished him a happy birthday. Howard said they also had a guy helping out with the booze at the birthday show and he had to give him a shout out. He said his name is Dan Sanborn.

  Howard said Richard Roeper did a great review of the birthday show. Howard played the clip of Richard talking about how great the party was. Richard said he almost got into a fight with people who were talking during the show. Richard talked about the guests and how much fun he had there.

  Howard said Richard falls into the category of guests he wished he knew was there because he would have liked to have talked to him. He said he heard he had a gorgeous date with him too.

  Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who asked how the ratings were for the kitten bowl. Howard said Beth doesn't know about the ratings and stuff. He said that thing on the Hallmark channel got 3.5 million viewers. Robin said that's amazing. Howard said any cable channel with a million viewers is amazing. He said that Beth asked if it was good. Howard said she should ask Piers Morgan if he thinks that's good. He said Piers would be thrilled. Howard said it's remarkable. Howard said they had repeats and it's up to over 6.1 million viewers.

  Howard said they did a great job with the Kitten Bowl. He said the hosts were good and they did really good in the ratings. Howard said CNN should just put on kittens. He said they'll do it every time.

  Tommy said the birthday show was the greatest ever. Howard said he's working on getting the video out there somehow. He said it was a great show. Tommy said it lived up and surpassed the hype.

  Howard said that he's never heard the entire birthday show. He said you get confused because he wasn't able to tune in at 6am. He said he tuned in by 7. Howard said today is a live show and then tomorrow all day they're going to move the show around so the birthday show will air at a different time. Howard said they want to make sure everyone can hear it. Howard said they'll also run it on Saturday. He said then on February 17th they'll run it once again.

  Howard said they have Howard 101 for anyone who has already heard it. Robin said there are people hearing it for the 3rd and 4th time and still finding it entertaining. Howard said they're going to air it a bunch more times.

  Howard said that Maria Menounos did good coverage of the birthday show. He said that they showed some highlights of the show. Howard said they had Joey Kola as the warm up comedian at the event and he was really good. Howard said he had to thank him for doing what he did. Howard said that Joey is really quick.

  Howard said he was excited for Beth about the Kitten Bowl. He said they did really well. Howard said they put together gift bags for the celebrities that came to the party. He had to thank a few people for helping out with that. Howard said sometimes some of these people are overlooked and not thanked. He had a bunch of people who helped with those gift bags.

  Howard said that the Cake Boss made him a 4 foot tall cake. Howard said that was great. He said they made it look like the microphone he uses every day. Howard said it was amazing. Robin said she noticed the fire that went with it. Howard said they had fireworks coming out of it. Howard said he didn't have any cake because it was probably gobbled up by the vultures in the crowd.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he agrees with Tommy about how great the party was. He said he was there live and couldn't believe they were there. Howard said it was a great night. The caller said that someone was asking Seinfeld about not having enough diversity on his show. Howard said they were saying he doesn't have enough black and women comedians on the show. Howard said they book the show every day and they don't book by race. He said they don't look at that. Howard said they look at who's hot and things like that. He said you don't book based on race. He said only a racist looks at it like that.

  Robin said other races won't get exposure if they don't look at that. Howard said he doesn't think that Jerry looks at it like that. He has seen women and black people on Jerry's show. Howard said he can think of two at least. Howard said that Jerry is having people he finds funny on his show. He said he isn't going to book people that he doesn't find entertaining.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said that was the best party ever. He said he ended up with the Wack Pack in the last hour of the show. He said Joey Boots was yelling out that he wanted Dave Grohl's baby. Howard said the word baby is interesting. He said you can always tell the people who were most ignored by their parents who can't allow anyone to have the spotlight. Howard said Dave Grohl is on the stage and he's imagining that there are people who can't tolerate it. He said they can't just sit back and enjoy it. He said they're so envious of the people on stage and they have to get attention. Howard said they shout out or pull their pants down or whatever they have to just to get attention for themselves. Howard said they're baby adults. He said they're infantile and they can't sit still and let someone else have the spotlight.

  Howard said that you have to let your kids have attention when they're growing up. Howard said that he let his kids shine when they were in school and he'd go to an event for them. Howard said that he'd turn off the celebrity thing for the night and tell the people asking for an autograph that he wasn't going to sign one. He said it's like parenting a whole room. He said that you have to tell people to calm down because this is about their kids and not about him.

  Howard said he saw the play the Glass Menagerie and he loved it. He said that's what the play is about. He said he loved Zachary Quinto in the play. He said that Cherry Jones was tremendous in it too. Howard asked Robin if she saw it. Robin said she has seen it but not this version. Howard said the play is a wonderful lesson in shutting the fuck up. He said everyone who has a parent or is a parent should see it. Howard said you have to let your kids breathe once in a while. Howard said at one point the mother grabs the daughter and tells her to make a wish. The daughter asks what she should wish for. Howard said the kid can't even have her own dream because the mother is such a stifling cunt. Howard said you get angry with the woman. He said he almost jumped on stage and yelled at her to leave her alone.

• Joey Boots Birthday Bash Update. 02/05/14. 6:30am
  Howard said Joey Boots wants to defend himself. The caller said that he didn't call in to cause problems. Howard let him go a short time later. He said he lost his ability to speak.

  Howard said he's hearing a lot of reports about Joey. Joey asked what they were. Howard said he heard he was yelling over Dave Grohl during his performance. Joey said he was doing that after the act when Shuli put a microphone in his face. He said he was performing for Shuli.

  JD came in and said he could hear Joey yelling during Dave's performance. Joey told the guys that he had about 5 drinks during the show. He said he isn't sober and it's been a roller coaster. He said he has never stopped doing what he has to do to stay sober. He said he does what he has to do. Howard asked if this was a relapse. Joey said he had already been drinking.

  Gary said he is so irritated with Joey. He said he kicked and screamed to get into the show and then he didn't behave there. Then he left him a voice mail where he said he might drink and drug again if he didn't get into the show. Joey said it was an email and he did throw that in. He said it was babyish. He said he was already drinking anyway.

  Howard said he was threatening them and he should have just let it go. Joey said he does a lot for the show. Howard said that everyone does a lot for the show. Gary said Joey says that he promotes them all the time. Joey said he does that for his own love of the show. He said he felt he should have been there at the party. Howard asked how else he acted. He said he heard he alerted security about the guy who was attacking people. Joey said he did call them over for that. He said he was helping people during the show. He said Shuli was asking him questions about why he was mad. He said that Mariann was down on the floor talking to the celebrities down on the floor.

  Howard said Mariann was completely out of line. Howard said she was told not to come down to the floor. He said someone told her to come down but that doesn't mean it's okay. Howard said that she was down there with John Stamos and her rationale was that she knows John. Howard said Mariann called and yelled at Ross Zapin about that. Howard said that Ross had nothing to do with her being booted off the floor. Howard said you have to behave yourself. He said that there are rules. Joey said he knows that.

  Gary said that he was upset with Joey for projecting his drinking thing on him. Joey said that it happens. He said he's working on his addiction thing.

  Howard had Mariann from Brooklyn on the phone. Mariann said she heard something about Ross that someone told her. She said that this message wasn't for the air. Gary said she said it was okay to play on the air. Mariann said play it then. Mariann said that she was taken off the floor and she was told that it was Ross who had her taken off. Howard played the message she left for Ross and how he has a hard on for her. She said that all she does is promote for the show. She said she does it for free too. Mariann told Ross he should play it on the air. She said she doesn't like being treated like shit. Mariann said that she knows John Stamos and she wanted to thank him. She said she's not a celebrity name dropper or anything like that.

  Howard said that she can't threaten people like that. He said that she sounds like she's in the Mafia or something. Mariann asked if that's because she's Italian. Howard said he didn't even know she was Italian. Howard said he though she sounded Jewish to him.

  Mariann said that she was thinking about going down to the floor and she wasn't sure if she should go. Mariann said that she did leave another message for Ross apologizing. Howard said this is a good way to learn behavior. Mariann said she usually respects the rules. Gary said this got so many people worked up. He said there are a lot of emotions. Howard said she was there because they do reward her. Mariann said she was in the moment and she made a mistake.

  Gary said he talked to King of All Blacks about being there and leaving early. Howard said that King thinks that he should have been there. Howard said that everyone seems to think that they should be there. Howard said that they had a lot of callers saying they should be there. He said King left the show about a half hour after getting there.

  Mariann said that she made one mistake after all these years. Howard said he has to get out of this. He said that he's just trying to teach people a lesson. Howard told Mariann to go have a good day. Mariann said she can't have a good day today. Howard said he just forgave her. Howard said he's so fucking sorry. Howard hung up on her. Gary said this is what happens. He said they invited them to the party and this still happens. Gary asked Howard if he got email from people who were angry about not being there. Howard said he did.

  Joey asked if Gary is still mad at him. Gary said he is because he gave out his phone number. Howard said Joey is a terrorist. Howard said that's baby behavior. Howard said that he gave out Gary's number. Joey said he gave out the office number asking people to call him to get him into the party. Howard said in the background he told Gary to try to squeeze him into that box. He said that Gary told him he gave out the number. He said that's not right.

  Gary said people in the back office have a different feeling about him now after the way he acted. Joey said he's sorry about that. He said he has to thank Ryan Phillippe too because he got 3 kisses during the show. Howard thanked him for calling and let him go. Howard said that's why he wanted to keep people separate. Howard said Ryan wasn't there for kisses from Joey Boots.

  Howard said Robin went through Chemo and radiation and she didn't shed a tear or complain. Ryan Phillippe did a lap dance and it threw Robin off. Howard said that he likes that about Robin. He said she's not a hooker or a slut.

  Howard said he's looking forward to seeing Donovan today. Howard said his mother found him masturbating and she threatened to kill herself. Robin asked if he was raised catholic. Howard said he thinks he's Irish Catholic. Gary said he's Scottish. Howard said it's all the same. Howard said he lumps them in together.

  Howard said Gary is no longer dry heaving from the pressure of the show. Howard played a song parody about his dry heaving that Richard created. He had a new Mr. Booey song parody that he played too. It was to the tune of Mr. Sandman. Howard said that was from Matt Travino. Howard played another song parody where they had Gary's ''noine'' in the song ''Jenny (867-5309)'' Howard said that's a long way to go for a joke. They went to break after that.

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• Donovan Visits. 02/05/14. 6:55am
  After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a woman using clips of Howard reciting lyrics to a song. We also heard a song parody about JD by Daniel Mendelson. Fred also played The Beatles ''Dear Prudence.'' He also played Ringo Starr's ''Peace and love'' message and Beetlejuice's ''This is Beetle'' song. Fred played another song as they were coming back. This one was Neil Young's ''Mr. Soul.''

  Howard came back and said this song is so good. He said he loves Donovan too. He said this guy had number 1 hit after number 1 hit. Howard said his life is an amazing story. He said the songs he's written are amazing too.

  Howard said when he would sit and listen to Donovan's music it was great. He said he's still there too. He said he's actually aging very well. Howard asked who is older, Donovan or Robert Plant. Donovan said that he didn't stay on the road. He said that's why he looks better. Howard said he broke early in his life. He was only 19 years old. He said by the time he was 24 he was burned out. Howard asked how many number 1 hits he had. Donovan said not as many as you'd think.

  Donovan told Howard about how busy he was traveling around from that early age. He said he did get burned out from it. Howard said by the time he was 24 he had made so much money he wondered why he was going out on the road. Donovan said that he made a lot of money but he didn't know where it all was. Howard asked who took it all. Donovan said that Keith Richards said it was a set up. Howard said he could have sat back and just enjoyed the money. He said he made his music and became a star so it was game over.

  Donovan said today they have a motivation to get a foothold. Donovan said that he was driven to want to sing these songs to different generations. He said that it's a bohemian manifesto. He said it wasn't about the money but the money came.

  Howard asked how he got famous. Donovan said that he was on a TV show for 3 weeks in a row over in England. He said that they would ask questions like where you slept the night before. He said he was on for 3 weeks in a row and he sang live on the show. He said he wasn't miming the songs like everyone else was doing. He said said he would cover songs on the show. He said he wasn't scared of a camera because his father had taken photos of him all his life. He said he got dumped from the show and they got a lot of mail about that. He said this was in 1965. He said they asked him to do a recording for them. He said they wanted to have a hit in the United States. He said this is what they gave him. He sang some of the song which was a hitchhiker's song. He said he did his own song which was ''Catch the Wind'' instead and that's the one that became a hit. Howard asked Donovan to perform some of that. He did that but the guitar was over modulated a bit. Howard said they have to fix that.

  Howard asked Scott what's going on with that. He tried to figure it out. Howard said that was a quick sound check. Howard said the guitar didn't sound that good.

  Howard said that he wants to take another shot at that song without being hooked up. Howard said it might sound better unplugged. Howard had him try again and it sounded much better. Donovan did the song again but with a great sounding guitar instead of the over modulated mess.

  Howard asked Donovan about that song and if it's sexual. Howard said he heard that some girl was touching his penis when he was a kid and he was left hanging. He said he heard that getting her was like trying to catch the wind. Donovan said that's almost right. He said he was singing about a girl Brian Jones had just had a whirlwind romance with. He said that he fell for this girl. He said that it was Brian Jones, from the Rolling Stones, who had insisted that the show ''Ready, Steady, Go'' take him. He said this girl wasn't ready for him. He said she wasn't ready for the romance. He said she went to California and that's when all of his songs started coming. He said that's when the record company got all of their songs. Howard said this girl goes back to Brian. Donovan said she tried to. Howard said Donovan hooked up with a girlfriend and had a couple of kids. Then the girl hears his songs and she wants to come back to him. Donovan said that he tried to get back together with her and the songs kept pouring out. He said that this led to his album that became huge.

  Howard asked Donovan if he's still with Linda. Donovan said that he was moving around all the time in the 60s. He said it was over and tough for him. He said he did run into Linda in the 60s and they got together for dinner. He said he was in Japan for a tour and they were paying 98 cents on the dollar in tax. He said he broke the tax exile and went to England. He said that he had rented his apartment to a couple of American girls. Howard said he has to slow him down there.

  Howard said when Donovan was 16-18 or so he was doing nothing but practicing the guitar. Donovan said he wanted to join Bohemia and be a folk singer. He said that he was a great singer because his family sang all of these songs when he was a kid. He said his father was a great reader so he was reading poems. He said his father was very supportive of his career. He said that he used to read poetry to him when he was going to bed.

  Howard said that he probably got his love of poetry from his old man. Donovan said it was the whole family. He said in the 1950s they would listen to folk music and his father would read poems. He said TV and radio hadn't grabbed everyone yet.

  Howard said he heard a story about how he was over dosed with the polio vaccine. Howard said he got polio from that. Donovan said that's right. He said the streets were torn up where he grew up in Scotland. He said they put too much in and he got Polio. Howard said the kids made fun of him because of that. He said he walked with a limp or something. Donovan said your foot becomes a club foot if you don't get your Achilles tendon cut. He said he can do all of the normal dance steps but he was different so he was laughed at. Donovan said that things that hold you back can point you in other directions for what you do in your life. He said he thinks that some other people like Joanie Mitchell had the same thing. He said that a girl needs two good legs but a guy can get away with it.

  Donovan said his father had him swimming and doing things like that to keep him going. He said he was only about 5 when his leg started showing the wasting. Howard said that the other kids would beat him though. Donovan said he would hang with the football guy and he'd defend him. Donovan said what he didn't want was the conflict. He said it was a tough upbringing.

  Howard said Donovan was signed to a record label at 19 years old. He said he had 11 top 40 hits in a row and that's unheard of. Robin asked when he started writing. Donovan said he was about 8 or 9 when he started writing. He said he hadn't played an instrument yet though. He explained how the ballads work and how they came from where he grew up so that's what he was used to.

  Howard read about some of the songs that were hits and mentioned ''Sunshine Superman'' and asked him to perform a little bit of that. Donovan said that he loved comic books as a kid but he was also reading the philosophies. He said that you can develop the super human inside of yourself. Howard said that's what he likes about learning about how songs come about. He said that there is a lot of research that goes into writing a song. Donovan said that popular music was kind of naive. He said this song is very much a love song about Linda. Howard asked if Sunshine is a drug reference. Donovan said it is. He said that it was the psychedelic drugs that were arriving around 1965. He said they were still legal at the time. He said he was joining what was happening already in Bohemia and experimenting with that. Howard asked if LSD opened him up. Donovan said that they started taking mushrooms and things became clear that there is an inner dimension. Howard said he learned from that then. Donovan said he did but it's not something you'd want to do every day. He said that he doesn't do drugs regularly now though. He said he may eat a cake with something baked into it once in a while.

  Donovan performed some of his song ''Sunshine Superman'' for Howard. Howard said Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin performs guitar on that song. Donovan said that he had to make some money and he was a session guy at the time. He said the Yardbirds had broken up around that time. Donovan said at the time his father kept the paper that paid Jimmy and it was 6 bucks. He said he gave him an extra 2 bucks for a carriage to bring his guitar. Howard said that's extraordinary. Donovan said it was a different time and you got a lot more for 6 bucks than you do now.

  Howard said ''Hurdy Gurdy Man'' was a song he did to sound more like Jimi Hendrix. Donovan said that he was told to try some different strings on his guitar. He said he tried that and it put a buzz on his guitar. Donovan told Howard about Jimi Hendrix coming out to play in a club near them. He said he wanted to get Jimi to play on his album but he was busy doing his own thing so he wasn't able to get him to play for him. He said that they had another guy come in and play. He said that John Paul Jones arranged the song for them. Howard played some of the original ''Hurdy Gurdy Man'' and asked some question about who was playing on it. Donovan said that John Paul Jones was there playing. He said they made these songs very quickly and no one wrote down any names. He said they made an album in a week.

  Howard said he loves his voice in that song. He asked what he puts his voice through. Donovan said that sometimes you just get it in a special way and you don't tell anyone how you do it. Howard said he had a hit song with that too but he thinks Donovan does it better.

  Howard asked why John Bonham claimed he played drums on that song. Donovan said he wanted to be part of a hit song. Howard said he actually took the John Bonham drums to the song. Donovan said he wanted to hear Howard's version. Howard played the song and said he used John Bonham's drums. Howard said he's laughing at the song. Donovan said it's great. He said it's so simple to play. He said they can play the soft part and then get into the harder part.

  Donovan said that he thinks that Zeppelin picked up on that song and that's where they got their style from. Donovan told Howard he wants a copy of his version of the song. He said he may have to do a cover of Howard's cover.

  Donovan said he had a custom guitar back in the 60s. He said he had a little J45 that he used and he lost it. He said Gibson said they'd make him a new one. He said he brought Howard one for his birthday today. He said it's number 1. Howard said if only he could play it. Howard said he wants him to come over to his apartment and teach him how to play. He said he's a quick learner. He said this guitar has some nice action. He said it's very light. Donovan said he has number 1 and he has number 1 himself.

  Howard said he heard he's being inducted into the song writer's hall of fame. Donovan said he must know something he doesn't. Donovan said he was nominated last December. Howard said he's in. Howard said he has the news for him and he's in. Howard said they gave him the honor of telling him that on the air. Howard said that's a big deal for a guy like him. Howard asked why it is a big deal. He asked if it's because it's an elite group of people who write their own music. Donovan said it is a big deal for him and he wanted to be inducted. He said that there are many recordings and many wonderful singers. He said if you can be known for moving song writing forward then it's a great honor. He thanked Howard for telling him. Howard said he deserves it.

  Howard said Season of the Witch is a great song and it might be the first song that was longer than 3 minutes. Howard said it was like 5 minutes long. Donovan said that half of the Sunshine Superman album was made in Los Angeles. He said they had some white coat engineers there in the recording studio and they told him that the meters were going into the red. He said that they couldn't have it going there. Donovan said he wanted it that loud. They had to go have a meeting about it. He said they told the producer that they had to turn it down.

  Howard said Donovan was the first artist that Clive Davis ever signed. Donovan said that's right and he didn't know that at the time. He said he went into the office in bare feet in 1968. He said that the women there were looking at him with their eyes wide open. He said that Clive had him put out two albums and then a box set. He said the box set went to gold within a month. Clive didn't want him to put out the box set first. He said that George Harrison did a box set after that because of how well it worked out for him.

  Howard said he likes this other song by Donovan called ''Season of the Witch'' and said he loves this one too. He let that play and talked to Donovan about the recording. Howard asked if he would change anything about it. Donovan said no. He said he likes it the way it is.

  Howard asked if it's mind blowing to him that he was a mass appeal artist. Donovan said you want to impress your peers and that's what he was able to do. He said that to impress the millions of others is amazing but you don't always think about them.

  Howard asked if it was mind blowing going with the Beatles to learn TM. Donovan said that fame hadn't pulled them up by the collar yet back then. He said that they wanted to help the world and how meditation can help. He said they needed a teacher but there wasn't one. Then they met Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. He said that the Beatles brought their acoustic guitars and so did he. He said they were cut off from everyone and just played guitar together and hung out. Howard said that must have been a great time in his life. Donovan said that John was fascinated with some of his guitar picking at the time. He said he wanted to learn from him so he taught him. He said Paul was left handed but he walked around and picked it up from watching. He said he got a particular style of picking from that. He said George Harrison stuck with the style he was doing. Donovan said that he had learned to play this way and he taught the Beatles how to do it. He said George Harrison pointed out that ''Donovan was all over the White album...''

  Howard asked Donovan about this chick Patty Boyd. Donovan said that he wrote Jennifer Juniper about her. He said he had a Platonic relationship with her. Howard asked why he would write a song about someone he wasn't in love with. Donovan said that love comes in all shapes and sizes. Howard asked if he wanted her sexually. Donovan said yes of course. He said they just didn't have any chemistry.

  Howard played some of Donovan's ''Jennifer Juniper.'' Donovan told Howard he's going to do a talk about the Beatles and the real Dear Prudence will be there. Howard said that's Mia Farrow's sister. Donovan said she was there when they were learning from Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.

  Donovan told Howard about how he taught the Beatles how to pick this certain way and he started to demonstrate it to Howard by playing some of ''Dear Prudence.'' Howard said that's kind of like ''My guitar Gently Weeps'' too. Donovan said that it's many song patterns. He showed Howard how it works and how it's a descending pattern.

  Howard asked if he's a genius. Donovan said he might be when it comes to music. He said that you have to put in 10,000 hours to be an expert. Donovan said he put his 10,000 hours in and he has learned all possible forms of the genres that he likes. He said that you already have all of the forms you need after that. He said that's why his music is such a fusion of styles. Donovan demonstrated more of that descending pattern. Howard said they're like the same song.

  Howard said he heard that Donovan wrote the music first for this song ''Atlantis.'' Then he had to fit in the lyrics. Donovan broke into the song and started to play that for Howard. He said it wasn't about old Atlantis. He said it was about the ocean within and consciousness. Howard said the ocean was the ocean of the mind. Donovan said that the only way you can find it is by going inside.

  Howard said Donovan got busted for pot many years ago. Donovan said that was in London. He said they were a threat to the establishment at the time. Howard said they were singing about drugs and all of that. Donovan said that they were sought out and they found out that they were not wanted in America. He said in 1966 he did a documentary and they filmed them smoking and drinking. He said that it was on TV and it was clear that he was going to be the first one to be busted. Donovan said that they just happened to not have any pot that night. He said they planted it in there. He said the Beatles and the Rolling Stones were next.

  Donovan said that they got a call from George Harrison the next morning. He said George asked what he was doing next. He said he was going to go back to Scotland to let it blow over. George told him that it wouldn't blow over and they were going to be next. Donovan said he was right.

  Donovan said that he moved to Greece to get away from everything. He said they weren't scared but they wanted to move on. He said they brought a few albums with them and they lived on a deserted island and played three albums. Donovan said that they got a call to come back to London because Sunshine Superman had been released and it was number 1 all over the bloody world. Donovan said that he and Gypsy had nothing. They had no money at all. He said that this Gypsy guy was his friend from childhood. He said that he left home at 16 with Gypsy and hitchhiked all over. He said it was illegal back then too.

  Donovan told Howard that they were on this island with no way to get off. The ferry only ran once a week. He said that the tavern owner said if they gave him their record player and cassette player he'd give them the money for the ferry. He said that they got on that ferry and he was waving goodbye to a way of life he would never live again. He said it was very poignant. He said that it was a recognition of their work and they had to go do this.

  Howard said he gets the impression that his mom was nuts. He said she found semen stains on his bed and she was upset about that. Donovan said he felt sorry for her. He said his father was more forgiving. Howard said his mother said she was going to kill herself. Donovan said that it was rather disturbing. He said that the drive to leave his parents house wasn't about them. He said that his mother had a lot of sisters and brothers and she had a tough life.

  Howard said he thinks that he ran away so he'd be free to jerk off. Donovan said he was looking for freedom of thought.

  Howard said that people thought that he hated Bob Dylan and Bob hated him. Donovan said he liked Bob. Howard said he heard that he thought that Dylan was turned off by his music. Donovan said that when he was getting going Gypsy gave him Bob's music and said he was another kid. He said he listened to that music and said he was doing that Woody Guthrie thing too.

  Donovan said that bob may have been concerned that he had some competition. Howard said he was right there with hit songs. Donovan said he asked Bob to sing a song for him and he sang one to him. He said that he knew he was in the right place when he met him. He said that Joan Baez introduced him to Pete Seeger and he introduced him to another and so on.

  Howard said he heard that he gave a line to the Beatles for ''Yellow Submarine.'' He asked if he remembers what it was. Donovan said that it was ''sky blue, sea of green, in a yellow submarine...'' Howard said that's just about the whole song. Donovan said that they didn't have a lot back then. He said they would help each other out with those kind of things.

  Donovan told Howard about how Paul brought over the beginning of the song ''Eleanor Rigby'' and he heard him formulating that song.

  Donovan said that he had Paul over at his house one day and a copper came up to ask about a car down on the street. He said that when he saw Paul there he saluted him. He said the cop actually went down and parked the car correctly for him and brought the keys back for him. Donovan said then Paul said he had a song he was starting and started to play ''Yellow Submarine.'' He said that it's not about a submarine. The song was about how they were forced to live inside their own lives and not having contact with reality anymore. He said it wasn't a very pleasant thing to be. Howard said the song sounds like a happy song but it really isn't.

  Howard asked why it was a yellow submarine. Donovan said he really doesn't know. Howard said he heard that his song where he sings about the electrical banana was about a vibrator. Donovan said it was. He said that he would write songs with John Lennon and they'd go through things that he had written. He said in the back pages he had the arrival of vibrators and that's where that electrical banana came from. Howard asked him to give him some of that song. Donovan said they thought that it was about abortion at the time.

  Howard said he's had some life. Howard asked if he's still with Linda. Donovan said it's going to be 50 years next year. Howard said that she must have been some beauty. Donovan said that there are other levels of beauty. He said that sex was one thing. He said she got very into alternative bohemian ideas. He said they are close to being soul mates. He said that they are brother and sister at times and more. He said that they realized that what they needed was self reflection. He said they do meditation and spread the word. Howard said he has been doing it since he was 18 years old. Donovan said there are tests that show that meditation can help.

  Donovan said that if you do Transcendental Meditation you will find that solutions appear. Donovan said that you can heal yourself by doing this. He said that it requires practice and a mantra. He said it's been proven that it's not a cult or a religion. Howard said he tells his audience about it all the time. Donovan said he thinks that people in the future are going to have to do it.

  Howard asked if he keeps in touch with Paul McCartney. Donovan said they run across each other once in a while. He said that they don't stay in touch really.

  Donovan said that Maharishi Mahesh Yogi asked him to build a university for him. He said that he wanted to do that. He said he was on the phone with him years later and he told him it was time. Donovan said that he has started a program to help kids out with their difficulties.

  Howard said he's something else. He said that he's happy for him being inducted into the song writer's hall of fame. Howard said that he appreciates the guitar gift he gave him. Donovan said that he wrote his songs on that guitar. Howard said he will write a few songs for Jewel on that guitar. Donovan showed Howard how to play a couple of chords so he could learn how to play. Donovan told him to practice a pattern and he may make something happen. He said you start with E minor D and take it from there.

  Howard said Donovan has a new album called Shadows of Blue that's available at Donovan.ie. Donovan said he was thinking of the song ''Rockin' Robin'' when thinking about Robin. He sang a little bit of that and Howard said they have spoken for an hour and a half. Donovan said he's going to be playing at Sam Ash on 43rd today if you want to come out and see him. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.

• Paul From Dan Patrick's Show Calls In. 02/05/14. 8:35am
  After the break Howard came right back and said that he loves talking to that guy. Robin said it's amazing listening to him. Howard said he knows it was an hour and a half but he as rolling. He said he as very cool. Howard said he's a piece of history right there.

  Howard said that this Jay Leno farewell tour is something he doesn't care about. Howard said when Carson left you felt it was the end. He said that with Jay you know he's going to come back. Howard said Jay isn't going anywhere. He said you know you're going to see him again. Howard said it went on with Conan and it's happening again.

  Howard said he has Paul Pabst is on the phone and he works for Dan Patrick. Howard said he was the last one to see Philip Seymour Hoffman. Howard got Paul on the phone and asked what he saw. Paul said this was last week and he saw him walking down the street and he looked much older than he thought. He said his sister jumped out and said hi to him. He said he looked at his face and gave him a head nod. He said he looked up at him and his face was kind of just blank. Howard said they say that he was really fucked up in the last couple of days. Paul said they saw him walk into his apartment and they went from excitement to just being in shock. He said this all happened on Saturday night. Howard asked when he died. Paul said someone saw him later that evening. He said that his sister told him that he was in rehab recently and he said he hoped he hadn't slipped. Paul said they went from seeing this brilliant actor to hoping that something wasn't wrong. Paul said it all made sense when they heard about the heroin.

  Howard asked if he will write a book about this. Paul asked if Ms. Reagan is available. Howard said she might be. Howard said just imagine you see Philip Seymour Hoffman the day before he dies. Howard said he can write a book about that. Howard said it all starts out as Paul as a young boy.

  Paul said he was at the birthday bash and he heard High Pitch Eric screaming at Ryan Phillippe to come up and say hi when Howard was giving his speech. Howard thanked him for the update and let him go.

• Phone Calls, Audio Clips And More. 02/05/14. 8:45am
  Howard took a call from a guy who said he's glad that Robin is doing well. He said he's glad she's back. He also said that Donovan was a great guest. Howard said he had a hit song every other week when he was a kid. He said it was amazing. The caller said he was a big fan and saw him in concert when he was younger.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he enjoyed every minute of that interview. He said he liked that it went so long. Howard said he just went with it. He said he was talking about music and it was fascinating.

  Robin asked Howard if he's going to listen to what Donovan told him to do with the D to E thing. Howard said he can do that.

  The caller, Balls, asked if Howard ever got caught masturbating. Howard said he never did. He said he knew how to do it quickly and quietly. He said he would do it in his parents bedroom because they had a TV in there. He said that they never were privy to his masturbation.

  Balls wished Howard a happy birthday. He said that he saw a woman who puts a yard of yarn up her pussy and knits from it being in there. Howard asked what he should search for. Balls said it's vaginal knitting. He said she makes rugs and Afghans and stuff. Robin said that sounds uncomfortable.

  Sal came in and said that it's a parody and it's not real. Robin said that's what she figured. Howard asked if she's really doing it. Sal said it comes off real and sincere but they cut to her doing it during her period and it's got red stains in the yarn.

  Howard asked what the Philip Seymour Hoffman screw up was. Howard said someone screwed up and said his name was Philip Seman Hoffmore. Howard said it was Serena Williams who screwed it up. Howard played the clip and she did call him Philip Seman Hoffmore. Robin said she saw something on an HBO. She said that the next thing is virtual sex with a computer and they seem to be getting closer. Robin said they have a device that a man puts his penis in. She said then on the internet he contacts a woman who has a joystick. She said whatever that woman does to the joystick, you feel on your penis. Howard said that's not good enough. He said they're still very far from the dream.

  Howard said he wants to be feeling like it's human. Howard said he'll just jerk off. He said he might test it if Robin controls the joystick. Robin wondered if it's cheating if there is a real woman on the other end. Howard said he'll figure it out by testing it with Robin.

  Howard said yesterday he played a clip of a guy cumming and he sounded like a girl. Howard played it again and said someone said it sounds like a perfect fit for Whole Lotta Love so they put it in that song. Howard played that and said it fits perfect.

  Howard said Eric the Actor missed out on the birthday show so they wrote a song about him missing out on that. Howard played the song and they had an Eric impersonator singing about how he's all by himself.

  Howard said he heard that Hanzi was tweeting nasty things about him because he wasn't able to go to the birthday show. Howard said that he wanted him to come but he wasn't able to make it happen with the notarized note from his mom. Howard played a song parody someone wrote about Hanzi to the tune of Chaka Khan.

  Howard said that everyone is sending in songs about Robin. He had a new one from Little Mikey. He had one from Zachary Mecier. He said he has tons of them but he has no time to play them all. He says that with Peace and Love though.

  Howard said he has so much to get to. He said that CVS is planning on stopping the sale of tobacco products this year. Howard said they will lose up to 2 billion dollars a year. He said they're looking to be a health care provider so they're getting rid of the tobacco sales.

  Howard said he heard that Mariann sent a letter to the NY Daily News and said he appreciates that.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wants to know from Robin how many men she's been with sexually since she met Howard. He wanted to know when she got it last too. Howard asked how many it's been. Howard said Robin devours one intern per semester too. Howard said she's trying to be a lady about it so she's not mentioning how many. Robin said she hasn't gotten it since she's been sick. Howard said she'll get back in the saddle eventually. Howard said they'll start with her blowing him virtually.

  Howard took a call from a woman who said that Natalie Maines and Sarah Silverman did that song about Howard so well. Howard said that he was watching some reports about the birthday show and he's getting a staggering amount of press. He said that everyone was covering it because there were so many celebrities there. Howard said they had so much great coverage. He said it wasn't even hype. He said this was the real deal because it was coverage after the show. He said he's staggered that they pulled it off and it happened and it was spectacular. He said he keeps thinking back on his career and where he's been. He said he worked in so many toilet bowls. He said after all the mess you have to look at that night. He said it was all worth it.

  The caller said she had a vision and it's a big idea. She said she wanted to pitch it to Howard and Jimmy Kimmel. Howard told her not to bother sending it to them. He said they've probably thought of it. Howard said he has all of the big ideas. Howard said he has really big ideas. the caller said she's been up for 2 straight days. Howard said he's going to get his ideas done unlike this woman. Howard asked what big ideas she's been responsible for. She said she's just a dealer in Las Vegas. Howard told her to give him her big ideas. She said it's just this one. Howard wondered what she could be thinking about. She said she just wants them to come to Las Vegas. Howard said they've done that already. The caller said she just wants to give them some of her idea. Howard told her to take that idea and throw it away. Howard said that they're tapped out after that birthday show anyway. He said he says that with peace and love.

• Ralph's Birthday Wrap Up And More. 02/05/14. 8:55am
  Howard asked JD to come in and tell them what he should play. He said he's heard JD coughing and he thinks he's not in good health because of his weight. Howard said he heard there were some complaints about his breath today too. JD said he brushed his teeth. He said he had a cookie this morning and that's it. Howard said he's very edgy today. He said that he didn't get laid after the birthday show. He said that's why. JD said he doesn't have to play anything today.

  Howard took a call from Ralph who said that the birthday show was incredible. He said it was just amazing. He said it's like the greatest thing he's ever seen.

  Ralph said the hottest chick at the party was... Howard guessed Jewel. Ralph said it was Sarah Silverman. He said she was glowing and she had her boobs up and it was really nice. Howard said that's interesting. He said there were a lot of pretty girls there.

  Ralph said the had a lot of great performances that night. He said he was blown away by Steven Tyler and Slash. He said it was just amazing.

  Howard said that was a great wrap up. Ralph said he loved when Robert Downey Jr. told the crowd to shut up. He said Bryan Cranston was great too. Howard said that Robert is an amazing speaker. He said he got up and just spoke and he was great. He said he's convinced that guy can do anything well. Ralph said they are on at 3pm on Thursday's now with GEEKTIME. He said they're on this week with a new show.

  Howard asked Ralph about the staff wardrobe at the party. Ralph said that they all looked good. Howard asked if anyone stole the show with their outfit. Ralph said John Stamos looked really good. He said he's just talking about the clothes. Howard wondered if he has someone helping him. Ralph said he has seen John dress himself before and he does it on his own.

  Howard said he heard stories about Ralph getting drunk. He said he has to have an intervention with him. He said he almost got kicked out of the show. He said that there are discussions about how he may not come to any more shows. Howard asked if he was taking pills with his booze. Ralph said he just drank and didn't eat anything. He said it caught up with him later in the night. Howard said he has to be lying to him about something. Ralph swears he's not.

  Ralph said that when he got kicked out of his house it was the same thing. Robin said he should stop drinking. Ralph said he was drinking wine and he just can't stop. He said he has become one of those people that can't drink. Howard said he becomes his embarrassment. He said he's relying on him being professional.

  Howard said Ralph broke a glass on stage and Natalie Maines almost cut herself on that. Howard said Ralph is always the problem.

  Gary said he has to ask a question. He said this is the most important part of the night. He asked if he was hitting on JD's date. JD said he was. Ralph insisted he wasn't. JD said he was trying to lift up her skirt. Ralph said he was just trying to take a look.

  Howard said there's something wrong with that guy. He hung up on him and said he's like an albatross to him. He said he has to take a break.

  Howard said he got a note saying that JD's cough is distracting in the office. JD figured it was Will saying that. Will came in a short time later and said it happens every 30 seconds. JD said it's not that often. Will said you can hear that Big Mac sauce in his throat. Gary said he doesn't hear it but there are some complaints about the cough. JD said Will does that cough thing every time he hears him. Howard said he has to take a break. Gary said that they're saying that JD is getting slammed over his weight on Twitter. Howard said he wants JD to eat better and just one meal a day. Howard told JD to have a nice lunch and that's it. Gary said they call JD ''Donald Frump'' on Twitter.

  Howard asked what he eats for breakfast. JD said sometimes he only has a bag of peanuts. Howard said he has to put him on egg whites and a little tomato. JD said no before Howard even finished. Howard said he can have half a bagel. JD said maybe he's not hungry. Howard said he can eat what he wants for diner. He told him to eat some fruit. He told him to have a nice hard apple. JD said he has pineapple. Howard told him to forget that. Howard said he has to go out and go shopping. JD didn't sound motivated so Howard said he's giving up on him. He said he could get him in shape. He said he wants him to walk a half hour a day. JD said he does that already.

  Howard said maybe JD can bench press with him. JD said he doesn't know. Howard said he'll spot him if he benches 45 pounds. Howard did a live commercial read after that and then went to break.

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• Clay Aiken Tape And More With JD. 02/05/14. 9:20am
  After the break Howard came right back and said he has a lot of stuff he wants to get to but he's running out of time. Howard said he read that Clay Aiken is running for Congress. Howard said he released a video and JD said they should listen to it. Howard said JD said it was sad and pathetic. Howard played the clip and Clay was talking about his mother finding a place to get away from his father. They found a place there in that state. Howard said all he's hearing is ''Wah, wah, wah.'' Howard played more of the clip and Clay was talking about his father being a violent man and blaming his wife for the pain in his life. Howard said this is pretty boring. Gary told him to try the second clip. Howard said JD was right about it being boring. Howard said JD said it was something else. JD told him he said it was depressing. He said he's just trying to bum them out.

  Howard said he loves the Tommy John underwear. He said he feels so good in them. He said this is a free ad for them. He said he's wearing a t-shirt too. He said he's all about this Tommy John stuff. Howard said they sent a box of underwear and now it's become his whole life. Howard said he's happy to get out of bed in the morning. He said he sleeps in Calvin Klein underwear but he likes wearing these things during the day. He said he's going to get more so he always has a clean pair.

  Howard said he does feel a drip coming out of his penis into his tissues though. He said he was using Depends for a while but he didn't like it. He said that your underwear is all bulky and your penis rubs against it. He said he just uses two tissues now. He said he can get through two urinations with that. Robin said the creator of Shittens should get on that. JD was laughing at all of that. Robin wondered if the peeing often is helping. Howard said he doesn't know. He said that the tissues end up falling down by his ass so he has to re-mould them. He said they lose their shape. He said that he had a big wad of them at the birthday show. He said if you had pulled his pants down you would have seen 50 things of toilet paper. JD said he's like the opposite of Ass Napkin Ed. Howard said he's Tissue Paper Howard.

  Howard said that he spends so much time on this stuff. He said that they have chemicals in the baby wipes and he likes to poke around in there to get clean. He said he's worried about them giving him cancer. Howard said he just wants to be free. Robin said she's worried about Howard. She said that there must be something on those tissues. Howard said there might be ass on them.

  Howard said JD is never going to be as cursed as he is. Howard told him to eat what he wants to. JD thanked him and said that gives him one less thing to think about.

  Howard said he went to dinner last night and they were mapping out the future. He said he was with a think tank. He said that he was trying to think but nothing was happening. He said they were at the table at dinner and he didn't eat a bit of bread. He said they had cheese infused with veal and he didn't eat that. He said what he had was a beet salad. He said he had some spinach and broccoli rabe on the side of his meal. JD said he'll do that in a few years. Robin said JD would enjoy his life if he ate healthy and got thin. JD said we'll see.

  Howard said he lost weight and his ass feels great. Benjy said that all of the cellulite is gone. Howard said it really is. He said Benjy is going over board with that stuff because he's trying to make up for that peeing on the street thing.

  Howard got back to the Clay Aiken thing and played more of the tape. He was goofing on Clay talking about all of this depressing stuff in the video. Howard said he thinks that Clay believes he's going to win. Howard said he must be on the internet with this video. JD said of course it is.

  Howard played another clip where Clay talks about the woman he's running against and how bad she's doing. Howard asked if he's still goofy looking. JD said he has a short hair cut now. Howard said he thinks he looks like Alfred E. Newman.

  Howard played a couple more clips and Clay was saying he didn't want to be a politician. Howard said he obviously does. Howard said the one who doesn't want to be one is ''Me!'' Robin said she thought he was going to run for Vice President. Howard gave up on that and did a live commercial read and then went to break.

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• Robin's News. 02/05/14. 9:40am
  After the break Howard came right back and had Fred play Robin into her news with a song parody. Howard didn't like the song. He said he didn't like them singing about her menstruation. Robin wasn't there so Howard told her to get on the microphone. Robin came back a few seconds later.

  Robin said that the birthday bash was getting a lot of coverage. Robin said that Rolling Stone had their favorite 11 moments from the show. Robin read about what they thought about Lena Dunham's speech about Howard. Robin said she thought Lena was brilliant and very impressive. Robin said that people were arguing with her saying that she had it all written down and that she thought that Lena was stupid. Robin said that Lena was working with Howard in that moment and it's not that easy to do. Robin said Rolling Stone liked the Wack Pack all packed together. She said Jeff the Drunk was at number 3. Sarah Silverman singing was number 4. Robin said that number 5 was the Men of Late Night uniting at the show. Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, David Letterman and Seth Meyers were all there. Robin said they talked about Howard's interview with Letterman. Robin said they talked about Howard winning over Rosie O'Donnell and Kathie Lee Gifford's tape for Howard. Robin said that Kathie Lee claims that she didn't actually say mother fucker in that tape. They just bleeped it to sound like that. Howard said he heard she was going to come in person but she had to do something with her kids.

  Robin said they said that Louis C.K. was number 7. Jewel signing Howard's old song was at number 8. Howard said she looked great too. Robin said the people watching at the show was fun too. Robin said they mentioned many of the people who were there. Howard said he wishes he could have gotten to more. Howard said he could have done four hours just with them. Robin said number 10 was the classic rock guys that played. Number 11 was that Howard got serious at the end of the show. Robin said those were the great moments of the night.

  Howard said they have a lot of articles about the night up at HowardStern.com. He said a lot of people were covering it. He said it was pretty mind blowing that they got so much coverage.

  Robin read a story about the TV shows that 18-49 year olds are watching most. Robin said The Walking Dead is number 1. Other shows on the list included The Big Bang Theory, Duck Dynasty, Modern Family, The Blacklist, The Voice, American Idol, Grey's Anatomy, Marvel's Agents of SHIELD and The Voice again. Robin said it's on two nights a week so it's on the list twice.

  Robin read about Gloria Leonard who was a porn actress and ended up running the magazine High Society. Robin said she has died. Howard said the had her on the show a few times. Robin said she died in a Hawaiian hospital. Howard said she was kind of strange. He said she spoke very well but she ran a porn magazine. Robin said she was in Misty Beethoven. Howard said the last person to see her alive is on the phone and it was the producer of the Dan Patrick show. He got on his megaphone and did an impression of Paul Pabst telling a similar story to the Philip Seymour Hoffman story.

  Howard asked what's going on with the weather out there. Robin said it's a wintry mix. Howard said he has to get out of there. He said he's going to pack his bags with Sean Hannity and get out. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read a story about Paul Walker's will and how he was worth $25 million. Howard said that was a shocker for him. He said that he made all of that from those driving movies. Howard said Philip Seymour Hoffman probably had 6 million. Howard said that Paul Walker has 25 million. Robin said he must have been one of the greatest actors. Howard said if he was him he would have locked himself in a box. Howard said he must have been having some party. Howard said it doesn't get better than that. Robin said that he's leaving the whole 25 million to his 15 year old daughter. Howard said he would have loved that kind of money at 15. Howard said the kid didn't have to act a day. Robin said that he's leaving his own mother in charge of the money and not the child's mother. Howard said that's the way to do it.

  Robin read about how they're still trying to figure out what happened to Philip Seymour Hoffman. Robin said they're trying to find the dealers who dealt him the drugs. Robin said they have some footage of the dealers. Howard said they never go after the dealers when this stuff kills other people. Howard said if you're a famous actor then they'll go after the dealer. Howard said the solution is to legalize this stuff so they can get the proper dosage. Howard said heroin is a big mistake and with some people they go through a phase. He said that they don't need the seedy stuff. He said they should legalize it and educate people about it. Howard said that's how he got into drugs actually. He said that they had a guy come to school showing them the different drugs and a few years later he had tried them all. Robin said she had a patient that had overdosed with a hallucinogen and he ended up pulling his own eyes out. Robin said they had to keep him on a 24 hour watch. Robin said they said there were 70 packets of heroin in his apartment. Robin said that's about $1000. Howard said that's surprising. Howard said that sounded like a lot to him. Howard said he's not sure how long it would last. Robin said that it's apparently very cheap. Robin said that he had used 20 of those 70 already. Howard said it sounds like he wasn't letting it wear off at all. Howard said it sounds like 19 is the magic number. Robin said this stuff was called Ace of Spades. Robin said they name this stuff. She said there was some out for the Super Bowl that was named after the super bowl. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read a story about Bruce Springsteen's daughter's job which is an equestrian ambassador to Gucci. Howard said he has no idea what that is. Robin said she had never heard of that kind of job. Howard wondered what you have to do for that job. He said it sounds like it's not a lot. Robin said she may just have to represent Gucci at riding events. Howard said they must have to pay her a fortune to do that.

  Robin read about the fur that Joe Namath was wearing at the Super Bowl. Howard said he looked ridiculous in that. He said he looked like Liberace. Robin said it was coyote fur. Howard said it looks like something Clay Aiken would wear when he runs for Congress. Howard said the guy looks like a douche. Howard said he's laughable. Howard said they interviewed the guy who made that coat and he said he has an ability to look at someone and know what they'd look good in. Howard said he has to be kidding. He said the guy didn't look good. Howard did another live commercial read after that. He talked about Joe Namath some more and said that he used to be such a tough guy. Howard said he looked like Liberace in that coat though. Howard said he fucked up the coin toss too. Gary said that he also claims that he's suffering brain damage from playing football. Howard said based on his choice of coat he believes that.

  Gary came in and said that they had the furrier on and he showed a few other choices he had for Joe. He had sold one to P. Diddy and they looked ridiculous. Gary said that's the way Joe dressed in 1970 but it's not 1970 anymore. Howard said he saw a red fox recently and they're so cute. Howard said that people will say that he wears leather but he knows where to draw the line. He said he can draw it at a fox or coyote.

  Robin read a story about the prostitution that comes into an area during a big event. Robin said that children are now being brought in. Robin said they busted dozens of pimps who were bringing in young kids for the Super Bowl. Howard said he'd rather see the cops go after them and not after Philip Seymour Hoffman's drug dealers. Howard replayed the Serena Williams clip where she called Hoffman ''Philip Semen Hoffmore'' because Howard had screwed up his name. Robin read more about the child prostitution and what went on with this sting. They caught 45 pimps and their associates.

  Robin read a story about CVS not selling tobacco anymore. She had some audio clip of one of their reps talking about why they're doing this. Howard said he applauds that. He said that they're giving up 2 billion a year in sales with that. Robin said they will all stop selling them later this year.

  Robin read a story about a new ad campaign that the FDA is running to stop young people from smoking. Robin said she did that story yesterday so she's not going to finish that.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to let him know he's the second coolest guy in the room next to Rob Zombie. Howard said Rob is the best looking guy on the planet. He said he thinks he's a really cool looking dude. The caller said he had never seen him before but he saw him at the party. He said he just oozes coolness. Howard said he looks like early man and he likes that look. He said he loves that guy.

  The caller said that Beth looked like she wanted to bang Steven Tyler. Howard said he was all over her too. Howard said Steven told him that he wants a wife. Howard said he asked if he can even be in a relationship. Howard said Steven says he's ready. The caller said that Beth was the best looking chick there at the party. Howard thanked him for that and let him go.

  Robin read a story about a Creation Museum that has opened. Howard said that must be to combat the museums that show evolution. Howard said they're guys that don't want to believe in science. Robin was supposed to have a clip but it wasn't there. Howard did his southern voice and came up with his own clip about how Adam's rib created Eve. Howard goofed on that for a couple of minutes. Robin said that Bill Nye was saying that only science can explain some things but the guy with this museum says that he only needs one book to explain everything. Howard said they have to get over to that museum. He wondered what's in there. Robin said she wants to know too.

  Robin read a story about Pussy Riot making their first American appearance this week. Robin said that they're calling on President Obama not to be timid in pointing out what's wrong with Russia. Howard was still doing his southern guy voice and goofing on the whole creation museum. Robin said that Steven Colbert had Pussy Riot on his show and he asked Vladimir Putin to leave those girls alone. Robin had some audio of the girls on the show and they don't speak very much English. They had to have an interpreter there. Howard said that's why he can't have them on the show. He said they're better on the Steven Colbert show.

  Robin read a story about how Justin Bieber was turned away from some parties the other night after the Super Bowl. Robin said he has been barred from some strip clubs after a photo of him sucking on a stripper's nipple showed up online. Howard said that's an odd reason not to have him there. Robin asked if Howard has ever done that. Howard said Oh no... he's a gentleman. Howard said most people don't follow the rules there at the clubs.

  Robin read a story about Ryan Phillippe signing a deal to do a TV show called Secrets and Lies. Howard said Robin hasn't done any news about him until after that dance he gave her. Howard said that would be great if she just did news about Ryan one day.

  Howard said if she was in the studio today he would have had Donovan give her a lap dance. He wrapped up and ended the show a short time later. They were done around 10:25am.

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• Wrap Up Show - JD's Cough And More. 02/05/14. 10:30am
  Jon Hein started the show talking about the many things he wanted to get to today. Jon said he wanted to start off with JD and all of the things they were talking about with him today. Gary said Jason was saying that JD could have left the studio a long time before he got goofed on. He said that he could have walked out. JD said Howard wanted him in there. He wanted him to go over stuff on his pages. He said he got into his health and everything else.

  Gary said he doesn't linger. He said he just gets in and gets out. Jon said they should talk about that. Jon said that some people are lingerers. Gary said Shuli lingers. JD said Lisa G used to linger. Jon said that Jon Leiberman does it sometimes. Gary said he doesn't. He said he can read Howard's face. He said sometimes Howard will wave him back.

  Steve Brandano said he's so afraid that as soon as he's done he walks out. He said he doesn't want to stick around too long. Gary said Ralph is a phone lingerer. He said he won't get off the line.

  Jon said that Will lingers sometimes. Gary said he only lingers for JD. He said JD is his muse. Jon said that he's surprised Will isn't in there right now. JD said he doesn't have to come in.

  Jon said that Scott Salem will sometimes take his time coming out of the studio. He said that might just be his pace. Shuli said that is his pace.

  Shuli said he just stays in the studio until Howard asks him to leave. He said that he tries not to stay too long. Gary said that Howard will ask about one thing and then Howard and Robin go off on a tangent and their story is done. He said they don't leave. Shuli said that he has other stories to share. Gary said that there are times when people don't have anything. He said he's been in the office and people will ask if Lisa is still in there.

  Shuli said that Howard gave him a compliment and said he knows when not to talk. He said he always tries to stick to that.

  Will came in to talk about goofing on JD. Gary threw in a weight joke about JD while they were talking to Will. Will said that he has no problem making fun of JD for Howard. He said he seems to like it. JD said he deals with that all day in the office.

  Jon asked Will about the coughing and how he goofs on JD about that. He said that JD assumed it was Will who put up the note about his coughing. JD said that he coughs once and Will will yell at him to go home or just do an impression of it.

  Jon asked JD if he's worried about the cough. JD said he's not. He said it's getting lesser so he's not worried. Will said it's consistently horrible. He said he thinks that his lungs are imploding from those big boobs he has. JD faked a laugh for that.

  Jon Leiberman came in and said that Shuli does tend to linger a bit. He said that he'll stick around and Shuli knows it. Shuli said he's taking that risk because Howard could ask him to just get out. Gary said every minute you're in there you're in the middle and one false move and you're done.

  Jon said it's rare to get time on the air. He said you want to make the most out of it without being a nuisance.

  Will said Stuttering John was the worst at that. He said he'd go in at the start of the show and not leave until the end.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about Sal being the number one lingerer. He said he just hangs around with nothing to say. Gary said it's golden time for him and it's not as often as it used to be. He said he has a lot of one liners he has and he'll say a bunch of funny lines and then just one bad one and Howard kicks him out.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary lingers just as much as the rest of the staff. Gary said he tries to read Howard's face in there and he tends to leave sooner than later. The caller said that Gary tends to linger and he'll just ask Howard if he's done and waits for him. Gary said that doesn't count. He said that's a command performance. The caller said that Gary will come in and linger with the other lingerer. Gary said that's not true. He said he will get out if he isn't part of the conversation.

  Gary said he had a conversation with Howard off the air about JD. He said when JD is in the hole getting fucked with, it's like a ballet how everyone mobilizes and throws him under the bus. He said they all work together. He said it's like that movie Lone Survivor. Will said it's like a chubby gang rape. JD said Will just had to throw that in there.

  Jon asked if Ronnie likes to linger. Will said he is. Will said Gary isn't though. He said he's a player on the show.

  Shuli said that Sal is like he's getting in a car and floors it. He said Richard is just smooth and steady. Gary said Richard just takes all of the yelling and just deals with it. Shuli said that's the best way to handle it.

  Gary said Howard once said to him that he was talking to his dad and his dad wondered ''When will Gary learn?'' They went to break a short time later.

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• Wrap Up Show - Donovan. 02/05/14. 10:50am
  After the break the guys came back to a Donovan intro. Gary said that sounded like every one of his teachers in 7th grade trying to figure out his last name. Jon said that Howard spent a lot of time with Donovan today. He said that today's interview included Howard getting guitar lessons and playing his version of ''Hurdy Gurdy Man'' for him. Gary said that he did so many hit songs and he was going through them today. He said that's what his older brother played in the house when he was growing up. Gary said when Donovan was playing the chords that work with so many songs it was great.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that the interview was unbelievable. He said he enjoyed that more than Paul McCartney. He said he couldn't get out of the car because it was so good. He said he told his wife about it and she isn't a big Howard Stern fan. He said that Howard has to get into the career of interviewing people. Gary said that is his career.

  The caller asked if Sal behaved himself at the birthday show. Gary said that he did. He said Sal and Richard were the Wack Pack wranglers and they did a good job there.

  Jon asked if Howard is going to learn to play guitar. Gary said he thinks that he may. He said that Howard might be more interested now that he has these guitars.

  Jon asked what happened with the guitar today. Gary said that Scott the Engineer told him what happened but he doesn't really know. He said that he was told they just put a microphone on it after they tried plugging it in. Gary said he'd like to know what really happened. He said it sounded good in cue but not on the air.

  Steve Brandano said that he trusted Scott with that and all he did was hit the strings. Gary said it sounded horrific at first. Then Scott came in and fixed it. Gary said they should have had it done right the first time.

  Jon said they've been talking about the birthday show and they talked to Mariann and Joey Boots. He asked if they have worked out their problems. Gary said that he can't see the Wack Pack complaining about anything. He said they were put in a box over looking Howard. He said they had a great seat and sometimes you feel like no good deed goes unpunished. Gary said Mariann said that she apologized to Ross. He said that she didn't even remember saying that they could play the message on the air. He said he had an email exchange with King of All Blacks and he was telling him he was joking around. He said that he's sensitive to that stuff. Gary said he doesn't want to get too into this but he has a person who started naming names about other Wack Packers and how he should have been there. Gary said he was right but this isn't about contributions. He said its' about who the fans want to see. He said that the Wack Pack are A-listers. Jon said he can't win. Gary said he had a nice conversation with Christa Miller. He said that he told her he wants to be liked by everyone but she told him that he can't be like that. He said she gave him a pep talk that he really needed.

  Jon asked JD if he talked to Megan last night. JD said he texted her. JD didn't go to dinner with Gary and the guys. JD said he gets very weird going out on a show night. Gary said it was only 6:30. JD said he knows. He said he was in bed by 7:30. He said it has nothing to do with them personally. Jon said they have to get up early too.

  Leiberman asked when the texting took place. JD said it was probably 6 or 7. Gary asked what they were texting about. JD said she's in a better place right now. Leiberman asked if there are future plans to see her. JD said she lives in another state so it's not that easy. He said they'll have to see what happens. Jon said they had to take a break after that.

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• Wrap Up Show - Birthday Show Talk And More. 02/05/14. 11:05am
  After the break Jon said that they heard Jon Leiberman's conversation with Wendy the Retard. Leiberman said he treats his show like a serious news show with wacky people on it. He said that he was talking to Jane Velez Mitchell and then picks up on Wendy. He said she was looking for her cat and then she's throwing up. He said she seemed okay to go on with the show so he kept going. He said that he treats everyone the same on his show.

  Gary said Howard was wondering what Wendy was puking into. Jon said she was in her yard so she may have done it out there. He said she was out looking for her cat. He said that she has about 7. Leiberman said she may have been puking in her front yard.

  Jon had Ralph on the line so he picked up on him. Ralph said he doesn't have a drinking problem or a drug problem. He said he didn't have anything to eat that day and he was just running around all day. Jon said he was throwing out every excuse in the book. Ralph said it just caught up to him at the after party. He said that he was fine at the party, party. He said someone knocked into him at the party and he bumped into someone. Leiberman said Ralph was hanging on JD at the after show. He said that was just minutes before the glass was broken. Ralph said it was fun. JD said it was lots of fun.

  Jon asked if Ralph was moving in on JD's girl. Ralph said no and said she's alright though. Will said that she didn't have a cock so Ralph is not interested.

  Gary said that Ralph jumped into the staff picture at the birthday bash. There are a couple of other guys who got in on that too.

  Gary asked Ralph about getting drunk and if he didn't know enough not to drink more. Ralph said it just caught up to him at the after party. Ralph said he wasn't loaded. He said that he had more than two glasses of wine but it wasn't that many more.

  Ralph said he left the party and he realized he forgot his jacket. He said he was like half way down the block.

  Gary said they had a party after the FOX pilots and he thinks that he gave the cab driver all of the 20s he had in his pocket that night. He said he let it all lose that night so he was too drunk to know better.

  Ralph said that GEEKTIME is on tomorrow at 3pm on Howard 101. Jon said they're going to wrap up the Wrap Up Show too. He let the guys get in their plugs and ended the show around 11:10am.

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• No Thursday Coverage. 02/06/14. 6:00am
  There's nothing for me to cover today. I'll be back on Monday to cover the ''Mammary Lane'' special that they're running next week. If you missed my Birthday Bash coverage you can find that in my archives.

• No Friday Coverage. 02/07/14. 6:00am
  I'm not covering anything today but I'll be back Monday to cover the Mammary Lane special they're running during a vacation week.